Podcasts about cloughie

A memorable visit to the chip shop is featured in this entertaining episode of great Brian Clough stories. There's also the tale of a visit to Cloughie's home, where Brian was wearing his marigolds while washing the dishes. You'll also hear stories in an exclusive extract from a book festival featuring author and pod host Marcus Alton.

Navigating Indecision: A Simple Process to Move Forward Hey there, amazing friend! Ever caught yourself going round and round in circles, totally stuck on making a decision? That feeling where your brain just won't settle on which path to take? I've been there too, and in today's episode, I'm sharing exactly how to break free from that frustrating loop! I open up about my own battles with confusion and that knot-in-your-stomach anxiety that shows up when we're faced with choices. But don't worry - I've got something special for you today: a super practical process that will help you cut through the mental fog and finally move forward. Together, we'll explore how to tap into your imagination (yes, it's way more powerful than you think!) and discover the symbolic representations of what's really going on. It's amazing how our minds can show us the answers when we know how to look! What You'll Learn Today: Why indecision feels so uncomfortable (and why that's actually useful!) My step-by-step visualization process that unlocks hidden insights How to tune into what your unconscious mind is trying to tell you Simple techniques to transform your new awareness into confident action Whether you're deciding what to have for dinner or contemplating a major life change, this episode has something valuable for you. Now it's your turn! Give yourself 10 minutes to try it. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and follow along with the episode. Please take time to try this process for yourself. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and follow along. Then come share your experience in our community group or tag me on social media - I'd absolutely LOVE to hear what insights came up for you! Then come share your experience in our community group or tag me on social media - I'd absolutely LOVE to hear what insights came up for you! Here's the link to help you share the whole episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/443-clearing-confusion-and-finding-direction-on-our-dreams Remember, you're not meant to stay stuck. Let's break free together! Shine Brightly

Personal Development Unplugged: You CAN Achieve Anything - Here's How to Overcome Overwhelm & Regret Are you feeling stuck with too many goals and dreams but accomplishing none of them? In this eye-opening episode, Paul Clough shares a powerful but simple strategy to transform overwhelm into focused action and achieve what truly matters to you. Episode Highlights: Why having multiple goals often leads to overwhelm and procrastination The connection between goal confusion and the feeling of regret Paul's proven method for breaking free from the cycle of starting and not finishing How to prioritize your goals to feel at peace with your choices The importance of handwriting your goals instead of typing them Visualization techniques to bring your goals to life and fuel your motivation The 3-Step Process to Achieve Anything: Get all your goals out of your head - Write down every single goal, dream, and aspiration without editing or judging Identify your ONE most important goal - Ask yourself: "If I could only have one, which would bring the richest experience to my life?" Visualize your success - Imagine having achieved this goal and experience the feelings, sights, sounds, and even smells of success Key Takeaway: "You can achieve anything you want but you have to work at it in a particular way." - Paul Clough Stop letting overwhelm hold you back from living the life you want. By focusing on what truly matters most, you can find peace with prioritizing and start building momentum through achievement. Don't forget to share, subscribe, and leave a review if this episode helped you take action toward your goals. Together, we can create ripples of positive change!  https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/442-i-cant-achieve-anything-heres-how-you-can Connect With Paul: Have a success story to share? Questions about personal development? Email Paul directly at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com for a personal response!     Shine Brightly

Feeling ANXIOUS? Transform It Into CALM! Personal Development Unplugged Hey, beautiful souls! This week on the podcast, I'm taking you on a transformative journey from anxiety to calm. Not just theory—we're diving into a PRACTICAL process you can use anytime those anxious feelings start creeping in. What You'll Discover in This Episode: The body-mind connection of anxiety and why identifying WHERE you feel it makes all the difference A powerful guided visualization that transforms anxiety into something completely different (and yes, it WORKS!) How specific colors can become your secret weapons against anxious thoughts My step-by-step approach to rewriting the stories that keep anxiety alive This episode isn't just about feeling better for a moment—it's about developing a TOOLBOX you can use whenever life gets overwhelming. I'll walk you through the entire process with the gentle guidance I'm known for, helping you access resources you already have within yourself (even if you don't realize it yet!). I've seen this technique change lives in my therapy practice, and now I'm bringing it directly to YOU. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who might be struggling: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/440-imagine-anxiety-spinning-away/ Shine your light today! ✨ Paul Ready to Connect? Questions, thoughts, or breakthroughs to share? I LOVE hearing from you! Drop me a line at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com or leave a comment. Never Miss an Episode Subscribe on your favorite platform: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube Go Deeper Transform your life with my specialized programs at PaulCloughOnline.com: Supreme Inner Confidence Building Freedom from Anxiety Transformational Hypnosis Tracks FREE GIFT: Relaxation Hypnosis Tracks Download my complimentary hypnosis tracks at paulcloughonline.com/podcast Let's Connect Twitter: @pcloughie Important Note: While I'm a qualified therapist, this podcast is for educational purposes only. The hypnosis tracks aren't suitable while driving, operating machinery, or for those with epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare professional when needed. Music credits: Wataboi, DreamHeaven, ccjmusic, and others via Pixabay #PersonalDevelopment,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Imagine this. Imagine you're a client of mine, but you're not. But imagine this coming into my clinic, comes through the door and there we are. You've got this lovely seat, doesn't. It's not a lay down seat, but it's one of those reclining seats, really comfortable. And you've come in, talk about this negative emotion you've been feeling. This feeling is, you know, it's anxiety. Now anxiety as we know is really general. It just means so many different things to each and every different person, I guess, doesn't it? Everyone will experience anxiety in a different way and it will be caused by different things triggered in different ways. Because everyone, I guess, is unique, isn't it? Aren't they? Aren't you? And I'd ask, so if you had just two sentences, what do you really want from this session? And they'd say, something like, well, I just want to feel so less anxious. And I'd say, well, just less anxious, a little bit or a lot. And they go, well, of course I don't want to. I want. And then get stuttery because that's what happens sometimes because we're anxious. And I'll say, well, what would happen if we could change that feeling of anxiety to something really comfortable? So you could deal with different situations where you used to be anxious in the past and you could feel differently, what would that be like? And of course the obvious answer is, well, that'll be awesome, Paul. Can you, you know, can we do that? So I can't do it. I can for myself, but I can guide you to it. You see, I'd explain. I'd explain the feelings, you see, Think now, when you think back to that feeling of anxiety, where'd you feel it in your body? And people go, oh, I haven't really thought about. It's always in my head. no, no, no, no, no. It goes to your head and creates that internal dialogue, that internal voice, those that the internal movie that we make of all the worst things happening, but that comes from somewhere else. It starts from a feeling. That feeling is triggered by something. And that feeling comes and then it tends to spread to your head into your mind. So just think back if you had that feeling right now, not at a 10 out of 10 scale, 10 being the worst, but a 4, 4 out of 10. So we know what it is, but it's Something we can deal with easily and effortlessly. And then sit in that comfortable chair and go, well, actually just about here. Just about here. And I said, well, put your hand on it because I want to know exactly where it is. they put their hand on the place where that feeling is. And I say, I bet you didn't realize the emotions, good, bad, indifferent, negative, positive, all seem to move. They move in a circular motion. They start somewhere, they go somewhere and they come back. So if you can imagine it going round in a circle, and I take my finger and point to a similar place on my body, where there. And I just move my hand in a circular motion, like CL. Clockwise in front of me. And I say, it could go this way and then I'd reverse it the other way or this way, or back to front in a circle or reverse. But it just moves. And the thing is, when we find the direction of your anxiety, we can change it. And then look at me a bit puzzled, but I says, okay, all you have to do is follow my instructions. So what I want you to do is see. I'll explain what I'm going to do. I'm explain. I want you in a moment to close your eyes and imagine a big movie screen in front of you. And what I'm to ask you to do is bring to mind a memory, a specific memory, when you felt that feeling. Not a 10 out of 10, 4 of 4 out of 10. So we know we're on the right way. We know we're dealing with that specific feeling, but not at its intent. It's most intense. And I say what I'm going to do then is ask you to play a movie of that experience, that memory, as if you're looking at a movie of yourself. So you'd see yourself on that screen beginning to go through that memory. And as you do that, I'll say I want you then to float out into that movie. And then what I'll do is I'm going to ask you to point with your finger at, that place in your body when you feel that feeling and notice which way it turns. And I want you to turn that hand in front of your body in that circular motion. And if you don't quite get it, you can guess a little bit. It's all intuitive. And when you get it, I'm going to ask you to speed that up just a little bit. Not a lot. So you just speed it up, say 10%. And as we begin to speed it up, you'll find if we've got the right direction, it'll get a little bit more intense. Not a lot, just a little. And the you nod your head to say, yeah, I've got that. I'll say slow it down. And then I don't tell them what's going to happen next. It's really weird. And at the end of it, something quite marvellous happens. Hey, it's Paul from Personal Development Unplugged. Did you like that? Did you do a little bit of it? Did you think about it? Well, here's the thing. If it's okay with you, why don't we do that now properly, as if you were a client of mine. But remember you're not a client of mine and I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist and it has to be right to do so. And you have to make that decision that we're not doing a 10 out of 10 because that would just be silly because this is a process of changing anxiety. So we don't need full blown anxiety to do that, we just need a snippet of it as it were. So if you're up for that, I've told you the start of it. Remember we're going to make a movie.     Using visualization to get rid of anxiety is a fast process   You're going to. Well first of all you're got toa get that feeling. Then we're going toa have eyes closed movie screen, press play as it were, run the movie. You're going to float out of your body into that. You on the screen feel the feeling and begin to move your hand in that circle. Then not telling you what happens next, but I'll do it with you. So if you're up for that, make sure you don't need anything that needs your attention. No driving, no machinery involved or anything that needs your attention. You're not walking, not doing anything because it's eyes closed. You could do it with your eyes open but there's too many distractions. I like to do it eyes closed. So just get comfortable. So if you're up for this, find a comfortable place to sit, take a nice in breath with me, hold it for a second or two, and as you let it out, just let your eyes close. There you go. And remember a time, a specific time when you felt that anxiety. We'll call it anxiety for the moment. You might call it something else, you might call it scared, fear, whatever is'just for me. We'll call it anxiety and remember a specific time. A specific time. And it's only a four out of ten. Remember ten being the worst zero being not, don't feel it. And when you remember that specific time, imagine out in front of you a lovely big movie screen. And if you've got like a TV control, you press play and you begin to see that memory with you in that screen going through that memory, just about to experience that anxiety over there. But you're not in moment because you see, I want you now, as you see yourself on that movie screen, to flow out of your body into that you on the screen, see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel those feelings, those four out of 10 feelings. That's the intensity, four out of 10. And as you feel that feeling, just point your finger to the place on your body where you can feel it. And as you do that, let your unconscious mind and your conscious mind, but your unconscious mind begin to move that hand in that circular direction. That could be clockwise, anti clockwise, forward and back in a circular motion. But just imagine that you know which direction it is and allow your hand to move. Just let it move. Could be slowly, but don't do it fast. Not fast. This is not a fast process in the manner of. That is a fast process of getting rid of anxiety. And as you do that, you notice your hand begin to move. And if it isn't moving, just imagine that you do know and guess, because your guesses are pretty good. And as you begin to move that hand, just speed it up a little bit. Not a lot. I go mad. Just speed it up a little bit. And as you speed it up just a little bit, notice that feeling. Does it get more intense or not? If it gets more intense, you've got it. And slow it down. You now know the direction. If it doesn't get more intense, just go back to that feeling and begin to move your hand in a different way. Speed it up a little bit until you find. Until you find the direction where when you speed it up a little bit, that negative emotion of call anxiety gets a little bit more intense. Now you've got it. Yeah, slow it down. And I want to ask you the question. What colour is this feeling? It's weirdn't it? What color comes to mind? Just like that, what colour is anxiety? Yeah, you got it. Now here's what I want you to do. I want you to have the hand that's turning and turning to move out away from your body. So you're still turning, but you're effectively like pulling that feeling out of your body, still turning. And as you do that, 1, 2, 3, flip it and turn it the other way. Turn it the other way. And as you turn it the other way, begin to bring it your hand back towards your body with it turning the opposite direction. And then think what colour is calm? What colour is calm and make that turning that colour and bring it back into your body. And as you bring it back into your body, really make it that colour of car, your colour of carb. And as you do that, notice what happens inside your body. You're now spinning this feeling the opposite direction and you've giving it the color of calm. Where's the feeling going? It's disappearing, isn't it? I know it is. I know it is. Really visualize that feeling of calm and spin it maybe a little bit faster. I don't mind this one spinning a little bit faster because that just makes calm even more intense. And as you do that, and you've got this feeling of calm, imagine rewinding that movie with this feeling of calm. And now run that movie from just before it started, that event started. And have this feeling of calm and this feeling spinning the opposite direction of the old way a little bit faster. And now go through that memory and notice how different it could have been if you'd have had this feeling this way. Spinning this way round and feeling of calm. Yeah, just notice how different it could have been. How much easier it is to go through it now. And when you've done that, keep that hand turning by the way, turning the opposite way that it was at the beginning. And then if you want rewind that movie to the beginning again maybe 10 minutes before it even started. And now you know what that movie is. And knowing that calm is calm, what would you add to come as a most wonderful feeling that would enhance come and would have made that memory even more comfortable. And when you think of that emotion, you'd add to that. That feeling you'd add to that cup.     Use these techniques to help your unconscious mind learn new ways to process memories   What color is that? And that hand seal spinning and it's color of calm. And now add that new colour of that new wonderful positive emotion and allow them to blend together to crackle, to sparkle. Feel that feeling get even more empowering. And then as you do that 10 minutes before that movie, just run it now run that movie. And notice as you run that movie with these two resources now, two feelings, two emotions, how much easier it is now. How much easier is and go through that movie noticing how easy it is now, how more. So much more comfortable it is. Yeah. and Then slow it all down. Open your eyes and Say thank you. Cloughie. No. There you go. And the question is, I know the answer to this, but was it better the second time with calm than the first? And the answer is always yes. And the number four out, of ten could have gone down to zero. But when you add that other colour that you know would have been the best resource to have, you're making like a recipe now with calm and its foundation as you were, how much different that memory could have been. And we haven't changed the memory, but we've changed your learnings and we're changing the learnings of the unconscious mind. Because the unconscious mind did that, anxiety for a reason, to keep you safe. But we've now shown you unconscious mind two better ways. So out of the three ways, there's two better ways. And maybe if you said this or something better, there is a myriad of a cocktail of wonderful positive emotions that you could have a recipe, as it were, of wonderful feelings that would address any situation in the future. That where in the past you would have had those anxious feelings and you'd have acted anxiously. But now you can imagine going through anything in the future now that where it used to trigger in the past that old anxiety, now it would trigger one of the myriad wonderful ways, if nothing else would just trigger calm or trigger calm. And so your unconscious mind can learn because it has a prime directive to protect you. And we've just found better ways than anxiety to protect you. So again, say this and something better and just wonder what it be like. What would it be like at any time in the future, in the now, if you were to come to a thing that in the past where you would have been anxious in, what would it be like to access these wonderful feelings, what would that be like? And just let that go. I mean, you can do this as many times as, like, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. So you can't get that old way back. in fact, the old ways trigger the new ways. So you can go back over what we've just done, make it even faster in the wonderful different colors, because you know the direction now, don't you? You don't have to go back and find the old way and then take it out and bring it back, you know, the new way and just rinse and repeat. Think of a time in the past where you had that little bit of anxiety. Remember, four or five out of ten, no more. As you think of that time, spin it this new direction, the opposite direction, you know what you've got. Add the Most appropriate colour of calm and anything new which you feel would be great and just keep rinsing and repeating, rinse and repeating because it's like, I think we've said it before like if you had a cd, the old CDS that used to play music on and if you scratch them enough times they would never play the same and this is what you're doing to the memories. but you're learning each time by learning new ways.     Paul uses NLP to help clients access emotions and beliefs   And here's a question for you and this is a question I always ask my clients when they look at me in amazement with that feeling gune and they look at that old memory and they go o that memory is different now because I know how it could have been, how I could have used the resources I've got now and how I will in the future. And I'll ask them the question well, who did that? And initially they started to say well you did cluy they didn't call me cluy, they called me Paul. You did Paul. I'm thinking well did I know the feelings you were experiencing? Well, not really. I showed you where it were, pointed to him Paul but that's all. Did I know the movie, the content of that movie? No, not at all. Did I know anything about that second emotion? Not at all. So who did it? And it then just comes well of course I did it because you see when I say ay that's them m saying ay because you did it, didn't you? You did it. See, I was just a guide that's all guiding you through a wonderful easy process. And one thing about this process is it has no content, does it? No words. So you don't have to explain things, you don't have to try to describe things, you don't have to go through anything that is negative. Relive the past because you're not reliving it at all really. because we're just going through a process of 4 out of 10. But the more you think about these new ways times in the past that would have costused you a lot more than a 4 out of 10, 5 out of 10 if they came in the future now you know you're going to breathe through it by because you're going to access the most appropriate emotion, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs and your beliefs about how you're going to approach life are going to change now because beliefs change in a second in that little click they change there. you go and you think here's the real kicker because I love this process, I really love this process. I do it with every client just to show that they have the power, they have their own empowerment as it were, to change the way they feel, the way they act and what they believe in. Now a lot of people just think, well all these processes is a lovely NLP process. It's all about changing subm modalities if you want another technical bit. But I always say to my clients, well that's great because see my mum used to do this, bless her when she was alive, when she had to go to hospital a few times and they used to bring the doctor round or the doctor used to bring around all these learning doctors I guess you call them, studying doctors or whatever, doctors in practice, whatever. And she would get really anxious and I taught her this. Now bless her, she wanted to do it with a hand because she knew it worked so well. So every time they come round she'd ask them, before you say anything, could you just stop for a moment? Because I want to close my eyes, I have to get this feeling and I have to point my finger towards it and then I have to turn my hand around and then bring it out, turn it over, make it calm and bring it back in. And when my brought it back in I'll nod to you and you can start talking. And she would do it every time, bless her because it was like her anchor to calmness. She didn't need to because it, the sight of those doctors now would have turned on the calmness but she just loved doing it. Used to tell him, my son told me to do this so I've got to do it, bless. But the thing is, here's, as I said the kicker. A lot of people think that using these processes ah, are only used with negative emotions. And that's such Bs. That's just short sightedness, that's lack of creativity. You see. What about if you had a good feeling so you know you're going to say an event in the future and there's something where you want a little bit of confidence, not overconfidence but competence, where you've accessed all the information you want. Say you're doing a presentation so you go back at times when you've presented, doesn't have to be the same type of presentation but where you've talked to people and you've just been so comfortable being able to access the information you want to communicate and you go back into that feeling, notice which way it turns, notice what color it is. But this time instead of taking it out and reversing the spin. This is a good feeling. So spin it faster, spin it f and make the colors even brighter so you feel that feeling so intensely. And then imagine going through that future event with this feeling, spinning this fast, and learn from it. And maybe just play around with adding different feelings to it, spinning it even faster. And notice how you could go through that movie of a future event, feeling so comfortable, saying in the immortal words this or something better. And then just wonder with your internal voice what would be like to have access to all these wonderful feelings and even better ones when I actually do and go through the event I've been thinking about. And then you ll just let it gouse your unconscious mind will, as soon as it comes to that event, will trigger those feelings. You won't have to do it, but if you want to, just to get it. Because it's a great way to feeling good. And it becomes as if it's a memory. Because your unconscious mind find it very difficult to find the difference between the real thing that's happening and your visualizations. So it begins to think, well, we've done it this way before and it's good. And it can start to imagine doing things even better. There you go. That's something I do in my clinic. But do remember I'm a therapist. Not your therapist and all that stuff. And only ever do it for yourself. A four out of ten. Ten being the worst. But you can have fun with this. And this is the whole point about these processes. They are very simple. They do take a little bit of effort. You have to, I always say, have the will to do whatever it takes, but just do them and notice the difference it makes. And then play with the good feelings in the future. Cause you see if you keep playing with the good feelings when you have them thinking about things, it's a bit like planting flowers, isn't it? And pulling up the weeds. The more good feelings you spin in your life, the more energy you have. You. It's like that vibration. You are vibrating at a different energy or a different vibe. Frequency, I think they call it. I'm, not into that stuff in the technical thing, but I do know that once you start feeling good, good things happen to you. Synchronicity, you know, things just happened, are't they? Coincidence? No. This is you practicing to be good, feeling good, being successful in whatever you do and then having that successor. and good feelings being attracted, to you. And then all the new opportunities too. Because that's what it means. I hope, I always hope this that I communicated this in a way that made it easy to follow. If I didn't, please let me know because I need to improve my communication. So if there was anything that I didn't make clear, please email me feedback personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. and then I'll rectify that with another podcast. I'd love to hear about your experiences once you've done this. Just let me know.     Please share this podcast so we don't need anxiety in our lives   Same email address feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. and maybe if you got something out of this, it resonated, it makes sense. You did it and you just knocked it out of the park. Please share this with as many other people so they we don't need anxiety in our lives. There are better resources to use to deal with the events in our lives. Anxiety used to protect us. Now we've got so much, so many better ways to do it. Some of the best skills, emotions that we can access. So please do share this and maybe explain it to other other people too, so you get to learn it even more deeply. But please share the podcast and if you haven't done it already, which I'm sure you have, please of ###e follow whatever the button is on your on your thing of app of choice. So you get these podcasts weekly, okay? So have more good feelings than you can stand, more spinning the wonderful way, more brighter than you could ever imagine, and wallow in the success and the good feelings that you have and ah, will have in the future. Because it's now time to fly. I'll see ya. Bye bye now.     Paul Clough puts hypnosis tracks on a separate website   So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks why I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website. Well, it's so simple really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable so you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer. You don't need WI fi, you don't need the itunes or whatever. You can put HM them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto dis if you want. Where'do you get them? Well, there you go. I told you, it's paulcloughonline.com podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access. Simple as that. I send you a link, a special link so you, and only you, can access those hypnosis tracks. Because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility. I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you. I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals. And therefore, I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy. Have more fun than you can stand with hypnosis. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. #AnxietyRelief, #MindsetShift, #NLP, #Hypnosis, #SelfImprovement, #MentalWellness Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

In a rare interview, former Nottingham Forest and England defender Des Walker talks exclusively to pod host Marcus Alton. The entertaining conversation includes some great Cloughie memories, including the amusing stories about the first time Des met the Miracle Manager and why Brian always referred to the centre-half as 'Desmond.'In this fascinating insight into the life of one of England's greatest defenders, Des also talks about memories of his mum plus how he used to play football in the garden with his sons Tyler and Lewis when they were schoolboys.

A collection of special Brian Clough memories from former Nottingham Forest defender Viv Anderson. Speaking exclusively to Marcus Alton in the Green Jumper pod, Viv recalls how Cloughie's advice during his early days at Forest served him well throughout his illustrious career. Viv also talks about the 'Local Heroes' documentary which features his memories alongside former team-mates Tony Woodcock and Garry Birtles.

In a rare interview, former England international Des Walker recalls the charisma of Brian Clough. "He was a genius who kept things simple," says Walker, who was usually referred to as 'Desmond.' "Yes, that's what he used to say," adds Des. "Like calling Teddy Sheringham 'Edward.' It was a bit like your mum scolding you. But I got used to him pretty quickly and I got comfortable around him."Des talks openly to Green Jumper host Marcus Alton. There are many more great Cloughie memories in this trailer for a forthcoming episode.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset: Your Path to Empowerment Hey, you! Ever wonder how some people stay positive, even when life throws curveballs? It's not about ignoring problems—it's about tackling them with the right mindset. In this episode, we're cutting through the fluff and diving deep into real ways to shift from negativity to empowerment.

Beyond the Noise – Finding Inner Peace & Self-Therapy Hey, my friend… ever feel like life is just too loud? Social media, the news, work, responsibilities—it's like a constant buzz in the background, making it hard to think, let alone find peace. But here's the thing: you can create calm amidst the chaos. In this episode, I share my journey to finding inner peace—those little moments of self-therapy that help me recharge and reset. And trust me, it's not about escaping the world; it's about taking control of your inner one. What's Inside?

Unshakable Self-Confidence A Journey of Self-Discovery Welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast! In this episode, we dive deep into unshakable confidence, exploring the idea that confidence is not something to be installed but rather reawakened. If you struggle with feelings of unconfidence, this episode is designed just for you. Join me, Paul Clough, as I share my journey from being an introvert who stumbled over words in front of small groups to confidently speaking in front of hundreds. You'll discover the transformative power of recognizing your competence and how it can lead to genuine self-confidence. In this episode, we will cover:   The importance of understanding the messages behind unconfidence and how they serve a purpose. How to change your emotional state and the impact it has on your physiology and behaviours. Identifying counterexamples of when you felt confident and competent. Practical exercises to anchor feelings of curiosity and learning. Steps to rekindle your inner confidence and take small, manageable actions toward your goals.   By the end of this episode, you'll have the tools to shift your mindset, embrace your skills, and take confident steps forward in your life. Remember, confidence is not about being overconfident; it's about being comfortable in your own competence. Ready to transform your unconfidence into unshakable confidence? Let's get started! And then please share what you learn - Confidently https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/433-unshakable-self-confidence/ Shine Brightly

Jimmy Gordon played a special role in Brian Clough's success. He was the first team trainer, coach and sometimes the Magic Sponge Man, a fans' favourite who would run onto the pitch to treat injured players. In this entertaining pod, Jimmy's grandson Craig recalls some marvellous personal memories - including how Jimmy was often the perfect buffer between Cloughie and the players. This episode also includes an excerpt from a live Green Jumper event.

Taming the Mind: Tools to Stop Worrying Hey there, friend! Do you ever feel like your mind is constantly racing with worries you can't quiet? Well, in this episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast, we're going to take on that noisy “monkey mind” and discover how to transform those endless worries into clarity and peace. I'm going to walk you through what's really going on when that chatter takes over. We'll dig into why worry shows up in the first place and how you can acknowledge it without letting it control you. By the end of this episode, you'll have some super practical tools to break free from overthinking and start creating a mindset that's both calmer and more confident. Picture this: waking up tomorrow with a peaceful mind, ready to take on the day with ease. Sound good? Together, we'll explore how to make that a reality. I'll share simple but powerful techniques like practising gratitude and writing down your worries to help you regain control and move past the cycle of anxious thinking. Anxiety doesn't have to run the show. It's time to shift your perspective, break old patterns, and start finding healthier ways to navigate those swirling thoughts. This episode is packed with helpful insights and exercises to help you reconnect with your best self and truly enjoy the journey ahead. Ready to tame your mind? Let's dive in! I'd love to hear your thoughts—share what you learn and this episode with others https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/431-taming-the-mind-from-anxiety-and-worry Shine Brightly

In this bitesize episode, Brian Clough's legendary defender Des Walker gives his verdict on the current Nottingham Forest side, drawing a comparison between Cloughie and Reds boss Nuno Espirito Santo. The full interview will be on a future episode. There are more Cloughie memories at brianclough.com.

The 3 Foundations of Self-Development and Change Three Pillars for Good Mental Health Or you could say Building the Best Version of You   Hey, my unplugged friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast. Today, we're diving into the core of personal change work—the foundation that supports all your efforts to become the best version of yourself. Forget the complicated stuff; we're keeping it simple with three essential elements: sleep, food, and movement. These are the pillars that hold up your mental health and overall well-being. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or just looking to improve your life, getting these basics right is crucial. They're interconnected, and you can't focus on one without considering the others. What We'll Cover Here's what we'll explore in this episode: Sleep: Discover why a consistent sleep routine is vital and how small changes can make a big difference. Food: Learn how to fuel your body with the right nutrients and why hydration is key. Movement: Understand the importance of regular exercise and how it benefits your mind and body. These aren't just tips; they're actionable steps you can take today. No more excuses about time, energy, or resources. It's all about making small, sustainable changes that add up over time. Remember, I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist—just someone who's passionate about personal development and knows what works. So, let's get started on building a strong foundation for your mental health and personal growth. If you find this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit. And don't forget to subscribe for more insights and practical advice. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/430-the-3-foundations-of-self-development Take care, shine brightly, and I'll see you on the other side. Shine Brightly

New Year Resolution What A Dick I Was I'm Rethinking Resolutions – From Dickishness to Empowerment Hey, welcome back to the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast – your space to dive into the real stuff that makes life better. In today's episode, we're shaking things up and rethinking New Year's resolutions. Ever feel like you're being a total “dick” for ranting against the whole New Year's resolution thing? I know I have, and guess what – I'm here to apologize for it. I've always felt resolutions should be something we set any day of the year, not just on New Year's Eve. But hey, who am I to decide? For many, that quiet time between Christmas and New Year is the perfect chance to reflect and set goals. So let's embrace it! Now, here's the deal: Instead of falling into the trap of vague and painful resolutions (you know, stuff like “lose weight” or “quit bad habits”), how about we focus on the joy of change? Let's turn those “shoulds” into “wows” and set resolutions that excite us. How? By making them personal – focusing on what truly matters to you, not what everyone else thinks. Here's a quick exercise: Grab a notebook and jot down three things you'd like to change about yourself – physically, emotionally, or behaviorally. Now, take about ten minutes and brainstorm anything else you'd like to change or improve. Let your imagination run wild! When you're done, see if any of these new ideas replace the initial three you wrote down. Next, pick the one change that would make the biggest difference in your life. Ask yourself: What would this change allow me to do? How would it transform my life? What beliefs would support this change? Write those down and let yourself feel the excitement! Now comes the best part: What's the smallest step you can take toward this change? And, most importantly, schedule it. Small, consistent steps are what lead to the big transformations. Please share what you learn: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/428-new-year-resolution-what-a-dick-i-was And don't worry – I'm here to help. If you need any support or have questions, reach out to me anytime at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Let's make these resolutions stick – and let's make changes that really matter. Together, we can make the world a brighter place, one small step at a time. Subscribe, share, and keep growing. Shine Brightly

This Green Jumper Gem features Gary Mills, who was a teenager when he won the European Cup under the guidance of Brian Clough. In 1980, he became the youngest player to appear in a European Cup Final. The amazing success at such a young age was a result of talent, hard work and the faith that Cloughie had in Young Millsy. Gary speaks to pod host Marcus Alton with humour and emotion about his memories of working with The Gaffer. For signed copies of Gary's book 'Young Millsy' email: jbrinders@yahoo.co.uk.

Letting Go of Anxiety and Loneliness -The Deeper Dive Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety and Loneliness Transforming Isolation into Connection Hey there, my unplugged friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Personal Development Unplugged Podcast—the place where we keep things real, relatable, and ridiculously helpful. Today, we're tackling, again but deeper, what so many of us experience: the sneaky, self-reinforcing loop of anxiety and loneliness. You know the one—it starts with feeling anxious, which leads to withdrawal, which leads to loneliness... and before you know it, you're caught in a cycle that's hard to escape. But don't worry, we're diving deep into how to break free and rediscover connection. What We'll Chat About Today Previously, we explored some practical tips like sending a simple text or making small, meaningful connections in your day-to-day life. These are brilliant starting points, but what if they don't quite hit the mark? That's where the deeper work begins. In this episode, we'll uncover how your unconscious mind might actually be keeping these feelings of anxiety and loneliness around for a reason. Yep, your unconscious is trying to help you—just in an outdated, unhelpful way. Here's the thing: anxiety and loneliness often stem from old patterns that were created to protect you in the past. We'll ask powerful questions like: What is this anxiety or loneliness trying to protect me from? Where did these feelings first come from? By understanding the positive intention behind these emotions, you can guide your unconscious mind to let go of what doesn't serve you anymore and replace it with something that does. Practical Steps for Transformation I'll share simple but powerful exercises, like jotting down your qualities and strengths or visualizing the version of you that you're ready to step into. These tools help you tap into the wisdom and resilience you already have inside. And hey, if this feels overwhelming, don't go it alone. A skilled therapist can be an incredible guide in this process, helping you uncover the root cause of what's holding you back. Let's Make a Change Together So, are you ready to unplug from anxiety and loneliness? Let's turn these challenges into an opportunity to grow, connect, and shine even brighter. Subscribe, press play, and share this journey with someone who needs it. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/427-letting-go-of-anxiety-and-loneliness-the-deeper-dive Shine Brightly

Alongside memories of meeting Brian Clough in the Nottingham Forest dressing room and in the local newsagents, this episode looks back at the fanzine named after him. And after you've listened to the stories behind 'The Brian,' why not visit the digital versions of the popular publication dating back over 30 years? A special project involving Left Lion magazine, supported by the National Lottery Heritage Fund, digitised the original issues. Visit the website here: The Brian There's also an accompanying video: You Tube videoThe Green Jumper has reached the final of the global Sports Podcast Awards 2025. Please cast your vote for us (in the Best Football Podcast category): Sports Podcast AwardsThanks for your support!There are more Cloughie memories at brianclough.com

We had some great guests during 2024 and this episode is a compilation of those entertaining Cloughie stories and memories. The Green Jumper has been named as one of the best football podcasts in the world. Please vote for it in the Sports Podcast Awards 2025 - the deadline is 13th January 2025. Here's the link: Sports Podcast Awards 2025 - Best Football Podcast. Thank you and enjoy the Clough Collection 2024.

Former Home Secretary Alan Johnson is the guest this time, sharing his memories of Brian Clough and football in the 60's, 70's and 80's. As well as success in the East Midlands, Alan recalls Cloughie's time at Hartlepool, where he and Peter Taylor laid the groundwork for them to eventually be promoted. Don't forget to vote for the Green Jumper in the Sports Podcast Awards. We've reached the final of the Best Football Podcast category - up against big names who have corporate sponsorship. Please vote here: Sports Podcast Awards.

Healing Emotional Scars Because you can Have you ever found yourself stuck in the echoes of past pain, wondering if you're truly healing or just coping? In this episode, I'll unpack the difference between carrying emotional scars and genuinely healing from them. Together, we'll explore how our unconscious mind—the part of us that's always working in the background—signals the need for healing and how we can respond. Think of emotional scars like physical ones: they're reminders of what we've been through, but they don't have to define us. I'll share personal stories and practical steps I've used to move from pain toward genuine healing. You'll discover how to tell if your emotional wounds are still raw and how to guide yourself through the healing process. Whether it's through self-reflection, creative self-therapy, or reaching out for professional support, you'll learn ways to support your journey back to emotional wholeness. This isn't just for therapists—it's for anyone ready to face their past and take steps toward a brighter future. Let's tap into the wisdom of your unconscious mind, learn to listen to its messages, and use them to build a life of growth, self-compassion, and empowerment. So, take a moment, tune in, and let's explore this path together. Because healing isn't just possible—it's inevitable when we take the first step. Please enjoy and share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/423-healing-emotional-scars/ Shine brightly, Paul Shine Brightly

The Audio of the Video within the December Newsletter Sign up to the free, complimentary, 65+ hypnosis tracks and you too could receive the regular monthly'ish newsletter from me. There's usually a little video with a quick process or share. "How an I rush there Cloughie and sign up?" you ask Click this link https://paulcloughonline.com/podcast If you want to watch the video https://youtu.be/fHa8NcF9Uxo     Shine Brightly

From Anxiety to Confidence Let's Make the Shift Together Let's get real for a minute. Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach at the thought of speaking up in front of a group—even if it's just a handful of people? You're not alone. I've been there too. I've felt that dread, the sweaty palms, the shaky voice. But here's the good news: it doesn't have to stay that way. In this episode, I'm going to share my own story—how I went from terrified to totally at ease, speaking to not just a few people but hundreds. And I'll let you in on a little secret: it didn't take a complicated process or years of effort. It was a simple, powerful shift. What We'll Dive Into: The magic of visualization—how imagining your success as if it's already happening can calm your fear and build real confidence. Fueling confidence with your passion and curiosity—because when you care about what you're saying, everything changes. Why simplicity is the ultimate tool—you don't need tricks or hype, just a new way to see yourself. Here's Your Challenge: There's a process in this episode too You will take a moment—just a few minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself succeeding. Imagine standing there, calm, collected, and confident. Feel it. Step into that version of you and notice how good it feels. Practice it. Let it sink in. If you know someone who needs a little nudge to find their confidence—share this episode. You never know who might need to hear it. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/422-a-simple-process-to-overcome-fear-and-anxiety Let's keep shining brightly, Paul Shine Brightly

Overcoming the Fear of Failure – Let's Unplug This Together Hey, you. Yes, you. Have you ever felt stuck, frozen in the headlights of your own expectations? Like you've got to get it just right or not bother at all? That nagging fear of failure with that belief of "I'm not good enough"—it creeps in, doesn't it? It stops us before we even start. But guess what? Today, we're pulling the plug on all that. In this episode, we're diving deep into what's really behind that fear of failing. Spoiler alert: it's not about being perfect. It's about the stories we tell ourselves, the beliefs lurking in the shadows of our subconscious, and the ways we unknowingly keep ourselves stuck. But don't worry—we're not here to wallow. We're here to shift. What We'll Uncover: Why your unconscious mind stirs up all that anxiety—hint: it's trying to protect you, just not in the best way. The roots of perfectionism and how they keep you from living your best, most adventurous life. How to rewrite those old stories—yes, the ones that tell you “you're not good enough.” Tapping into your wins—those times you nailed it, even when you doubted yourself. Anchoring powerful, feel-good emotions to calm that inner critic and give you the courage to. There's loads of golden nuggets here along with the 'HOW' to change Please share so that others too can create the life they deserve - pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/421-afraid-to-fail-lets-change-that Enjoy, shine and be well Paul Shine Brightly

How to Think Better for Success Are you ready to unleash the power of your own mind and turn those dreams into reality? This episode is all about learning how to think better—simple, down-to-earth strategies to shift your thoughts toward success. Through a mix of storytelling and practical tools, I'll share personal insights and experiences that have helped me along my journey. Together, we'll dive into the art of *intentional thinking* and explore ways to create your own “puzzle book” to spark creativity and keep your mind focused. You'll discover how dedicating even a little time each day to clear, intentional thinking can bring clarity, solve problems, and unlock fresh ideas. Writing, as you'll find, isn't just about putting words on paper; it's a way to expand your thinking and gain new perspectives. We'll also tackle some classic excuses we all have—“I don't have time!”—and explore why time isn't the barrier we think it is. Here's what's inside this episode: The Power of Intentional Thinking** – How setting a clear direction for your thoughts can lead to real breakthroughs. Creating a Puzzle Book** – A tool to help organize ideas, connect dots, and keep those creative juices flowing. Overcoming Excuses** – The “no time” myth, busted. I'll show you simple ways to make time for your own thinking sessions. Building a Thinking Habit** – Practical ways to make regular thinking a part of your life. What You'll Take Away: Clarity and Focus** – Get a handle on what's urgent vs. what's important, so you can move forward meaningfully. Confidence and Calm** – Experience that peace of mind that comes from having a clear direction. Inspiration to Act** – Feel ready to tackle new challenges and inspire others along the way. *Are you ready to think better?* Jump in and start your journey now. And hey, let's spread some good vibes—share this episode and let's create a wave of positive change. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/418-how-to-think-for-success/ Shine brightly, Paul Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism     Hey, how to think better for success. Who am I to tell you? But I've got a couple of things, just got a couple of things that I know that if you did them, you would create success for your life and those dreams and goals would become your reality. And it all starts with stories, because we love a story. I got two or three of those. So come and dive in with me and learn. Or just sample a few ways of thinking better.     How to think better for success. Thought about this and I made loads of notes. And then looking at my notes again, I thought, who the nearly swore. Who am I to tell people how to think better? Now I do think I've got some things to share and it's not the only way, but I do think I'm on the right track. If anyone's listening to Jordan Peterson, I really think he's got it when he thinks writing is thinking. Because if you think about it, if you didn't think when you wrote, you just have a mass of lines everywhere and that'd be crazy. And I know you're thinking now, oh, shit, he's talking about writing it down again. Well, bit. Bit more than that. A bit more than that. I want to tell you a couple of stories. Maybe three. Maybe three sort of little stories. They're not much, but they're a little bit, you see, not. Well, a few years ago, A few years ago, my eldest son came to me and said, hey, dad, do you want to go away for a couple of days? I want to hire a barn, one of those converted barns. Not a barn with. With animals in, you know, but a converted barn for a couple of days. So we could just think. You think in one end of the barn, I'll think in the other end of the barn and we'll have lunch and then you'll think again and then we'll go out for dinner, and, then maybe one afternoon we'll just have a little ride around and things like that, see the countryside. But we'll. It'll be nice to be together, but also nice to get into a thinking mode, to plan. And I thought, that's a hell of an idea. Because you see, before I used to prattle on about, about sort of thinking and setting intentions, but it didn't really do anything. But going there was really setting intention. As soon as you walked through the door, you knew what you're going to do. We had a great time, did lots of thinking, still got me in my books, my notes I made, and so did he. And it was lovely to be with one of my sons just for a couple of days by ourselves. Awesome. And in my, My other life, when I used to be in, like a business type thing, and my partner, Mike, and he would often say to me, hey, Paul, we got this thing happening. It's like an issue. We've got a problem. Go away for a little while and think of how you think we could tackle it. Now, I'm an options man. I love options. And I would do, option one, option two, option C, D, four, five, whatever. And I'd come back to him with these lovely options. I'd really spend a lot of time thinking of the, different things, mitigations and all that stuff. I was following all different processes, and it really worked well. So I used to go away quietly by myself and do it. And then I'd go through with Paul. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just before we go. Too bad. We. Which one? Well, I like to go through it with you. No, no, just tell me which one. Because you've done a lot of thought on this. You know the answer. You done a lot of thinking. So I came up with, well, I think it's this one. So we'll do it then, because we're going to use your plan, and if there's something better comes along and we find that we can do it even better, we'll just change course, we'll be flexible. And that's exactly what I liked. And I think that type of thinking with options and mitigations got me into, when I started into this, getting deeper into personal development and trying to solve my own issues. Because as much as I do all this work and I do hypnotherapy and I work with clients, you know, we all have issues, we all have stuff. you know, if you want to get better at life, you want to enjoy life, create a better life for yourself, have dreams and goals, you know, this podcast was just a little idea at one time, then it became something into reality, but came through this like a thought process that I did. And I think with these type of things, I developed this thing I call my puzzle book because I used to have a lot of journaling and thinking in journaling, but I wanted something more specific. And what is a puzzle book? Well, a puzzle book to me is a book with plain paper in it. Plain sheets of paper. That's all. I don't like lines because they. They restrict Me, my lines restrict me. M dots are quite good sometimes but I really prefer plain sheet. A4 size if I can get it slightly, maybe a little bit smaller. But when I open it out I've got a nice big double sheet type thing. Anyway, enough about the puzzle book because you can buy them anywhere because it's literally just a book with pieces of paper. But for me when I sit down with that, it in itself and of itself, I love that thing. It fires off my intention when I sit down. It's like triggering my unconscious mind. Thinking is anchored to the puzzle book and because of that I changed my state. I'm sure I changed my state. Love my mind maps in there. But they just things seem to flow not always straight away but it allows me to be open, open to ideas sometimes strange and weird thoughts, creative thoughts that just might work. And I've done a little podcast on spending a few moments, a day or a week just doing the most weirdest thoughts you could have about what you want in life. Not just weird thoughts because that would be weird. And writing those suckers down. And that's the whole point about this puzzle book. You write them down when you just spend time. And I know I made a note that the previous longer podcast about thinking about your hero, becoming your hero.     Cloughie says most of his ideas come from either his puzzle book or journal   The best version of yourself getting more something you can get hold of, something you can see more clearly. That came from just someone mentioning something than me going into the puzzle book and it just exploded into thoughts and I got more clear. So if you look at be your superhero or be your hero, something like that, it's only a couple of podcast episodes back that came from that. But when I thought about it, virtually every, everything I've talked about seems to come from either in my puzzle book or my journal. And what are they? They're all sitting down thinking and writing. Writing is thinking and it's a wonderful habit to get into. And as I said, a lot of my writing can be just in the form of a mind map which explodes in my mind sometimes giving me all the different options, different thoughts that I can develop them. And I say it just allows me to see options taking time. But I know what you're going to say, well, not you personally because I know you're in there, in here for the, for the long haul. But there's, there'll be some who will say, oh, Cloughie, I haven't got enough time. I haven't got enough time to sit down and think. And that's Bollocks. It really is. It's a load of old balls. That's just a petty, flimsy excuse. It's for wimps. It is, it's an excuse. People think, I think they haven't got time. And you see if you believe that and you haven't got time to sit down and think about things, what happens? And I made two or three notes about this. You know, they just react. They react there and then. There's no thought at all. React without thought. There's no plan. There's no plan of any kind. In fact, it's just a reaction, isn't it? Just a reaction with no real intention. And what tends to happen is they might get lucky. They might get lucky and come up with something, but they end up doing something. The first thing that comes to mind, a knee jerk reaction and that goes wrong. And then they find something else and that goes wrong. Then they get overwhelmed and then they. It's just such a waste of fucking time. And it could have been stopped so easily if they'd have stopped and thought, did a little bit of thinking first. And this thing about time. We waste time every bloody way, don't we? Have a look, have a look of how much you do on the typical things. Social media, maybe gossiping, maybe just actually just bonky stuff walking around. I even started putting in my diary. Instead of planning, along with planning the things I wanted to do in the day, I actually wrote down what I actually did. And as soon as I started writing down what I did, it made me think of what I'm going to do next. And I started to get more things done just by looking at it going, no, I don't want to keep writing down. I spent 15, 20 minutes looking at bloody social media. I want to be writing down that I'm making changes, doing stuff. Even if it was sitting down thinking 15 minutes. And what else happens when people don't think? Well, they end up just doing the urgent things that keeps things giving the impression that they're busy. Oh, I'm so busy. I'm so busy now. You're fooling yourself if that's the case because you're doing those urgent things, you're not doing the important things, you're just doing stuff. And there's that knee jerk reaction again. Does this make sense? maybe, I'm talking about me time ago. Hopefully I didn't do a lot of this, but I'd seen it. I see it so much, people just doing, you know, these urgent things. Flitting and flopping to each different thing and not making any bloody difference in the world. Certainly not making no difference to their life and creating more problems. I see a lot of this when I deal with clients because they come in, certainly when they come from business and I'm doing my coaching course, maybe overwhelm, because there's so much going on. And if they just resolved one thing from a place of clarity, the world would change. And it does change when we get there.     Putting 10 minutes aside to think about a particular subject can make life better   So how long. Here's a question to you. How long does thinking actually take? I got you thinking now. How long did that take? I didn't. I didn't plan that. That just came out that way. But thinking can be as much as five minutes, where you just stop and, pause and you think to yourself, what am I going to do next? Is this going to make my life better or worse? What a wonderful question. Because then you can go, actually, I need to stop and think maybe a little bit deeper about this because I don't know, maybe you don't know the answer. I don't know if it's gonna make. It seems to think I'm gonna make my life better. But on the other hand, oh, but least that stopping and pausing has got you to think of all. What would make my m. Life better? If this is gonna be it, how can I do it? Lovely questions again, but you're writing these things down. Because if you just sit there and think about it, great start. But then someone goes, hey, did you want a coffee or did you want this? Oh, yeah, that's great. How you been? And it's all gone. Those thoughts are gone, and you're back to reacting, doing the urgent stuff. Now. You could actually just put 10 minutes aside, allowing yourself to be open with the intention of thinking about a particular subject. So you got that first one is, something happens. I just stopped before you react. Have a little field book in your pocket or something like that, or just a piece of paper, scrap of paper, just notes. But ten minutes to think about something more specific. So you're getting close to that puzzly book type thing, because that's the next one. I think sometimes it's. I love. Let's Talk about Me. I. I love sitting there for about 30 minutes with a puzzle book. And it's not every day. I don't do it every day. Do it at least once a week. I think, on things I find that are important to me. They haven't got urgent yet, but they are important. And I might sit down for 30 minutes might be less, but the mere fact I get that puzzle book out again and says it fires my unconscious mind because I have an intention. And you see, when you think about that 30 minutes, that's nothing compared to that bloody time that you waste on that social media, on gossip, on just simply doom scrolling all that stuff. And the thing is when you're not wasting that time and you're doing, it's just an investment in you and it's such a small investment that has such a high return, the return on your investment, the RII return on investment, I think that's what it was in business, is so high that you can't help but being more successful. And with that success comes, I want to say happiness, but it comes with maybe a calmness, maybe it comes with a little bit of peace of mind, maybe it comes with awareness, maybe it comes with conviction, maybe it comes with an expectation because you know what you're doing, you get from that, you get confidence. And when you do this, and here's a kicker, your unconscious mind can start to think, hey, this is a safer way to be because we are creating a world, a life for ourselves with less stress. We're dealing with stress before it becomes stressful, we're dealing with anxiety before it become anxious. We're planning our success, you and I are then planning our, our success and mitigating, I'm going to say failure, but mitigating where our results aren't what we want or what, what may come and blindside us or may come along. We can mitigate that as best we can. And therefore again we get more confident because we know what we're intending to happen and we know how we can, you know, mitigate things that aren't quite, may happen the other way. And again we've got it covered. And your unconscious mind goes, this is a great place to be. And it only took 30 minutes and we weren't going down the route of doom scrolling gossiping. That's great to have, great to communicate. But now think when you've got yourself in control as much as control is, but when you feel great about yourself and you feel like you've got purpose and you feel like you've got everything in hand, those conversations you have with other people are so, so much more richer.     So I've got a challenge for you. Get yourself a bloody puzzle book. Now am I going to get those excuses? I don't know   So I've got a challenge for you. Get yourself a bloody puzzle book. Now am I going to get those excuses? I don't know where to get one. you talk about a field book. What's a field, A Field book is just a small, little thin book. Have a look on places like Amazon or ebay or whatever, they're cheap. Or you can get a larger book and call it a puzzle book. How much are they then? They're peanuts. A few dollars, few pounds. When I say a few. One, two or three. You don't have to go mad because it's a plain book or, you know, I nearly swore. But just get a piece of paper, you know, print some out the copy machine, anything, piece of paper. Get a pen, pencil, whatever you bloody like. And I want you in your diary. Oh, I haven't got a diary. Well, get a bloody diary page, a day diary, that's all you need. I have one with times on it, so I can really block it out. But I want you to block out some five minutes and some 10 minutes for thinking time daily, every day, at least a, ah, five minute, or I would suggest a ten minute, because once you get into it, you'll want to spend longer than five minutes. But 10 minutes is something where you go, well, I can put 10 minutes aside because I'm going to have my cup of coffee, I want to just sit down the first thing in the morning. Sometime in the day, lunchtime, my break time, anytime on my commute, unless you're driving, of course. And, block it in your bloody diary. So before you start the week, you know roughly what you're going to be doing most days. So block it down. You can move them around a little bit, but once they're blocked in, you have to do it. And, block in 1:30 minutes time for yourself. Time to create success, time to think. Time to really get deeper into a specific issue, a specific thing, a project that you want to just solve, resolve, get better at, maybe learn it. Because they don't have to be all issues, do they? Things that you might want to learn. So how can I learn this? And when you sit down and think that's what one of the questions just jumped in. How can, what do I need to learn? You ask yourself questions. You write those questions down. What do I really want? Is it going to make my life better or worse? How can I make it better? What do I know already? What do I need to know more of all these wonderful questions? And questions go on forever. There are so many people now who have questions that are, so brilliant. Tim Ferriss has lots of questions and I love his questions and they're very closely aligned to the type of things that I would ask myself and what we could do. Because I Always threatened to write a book about just the questions you ask yourself, but I thought that was a bit pretentious. But we could do another podcast episode on the type of things you could do in that 30, minute session. The type of questions you could ask that would get your unconscious mind going in a direction to find the answers. Because it's. And again, it's because you write these down, your unconscious mind goes and finds the answers. And the beauty of this, you sit down for 30 minutes, you might not get everything done that you wanted to. They're open questions. You haven't maybe found the answer yet. You've thought of some options, but you're not quite sure. One of the old Cloughie guarantees is you'll go away. You'll close the book, you'll go away and you'll come back suddenly go, ah. And you'll have that aha, moment, where's my book? I must make that note down. And you can't find that, so you put it in a little piece of paper or your field book, and then you come back to your thinking book in that. And it. Just because it's written down, you can always go back to it. And it gets richer and it gets more inspiring, more intuitive and it gets you to start to dream and think without you really sitting down hard because you just go, ah, becomes a habit that, that ideas muscle starts to really get strong. You begin to resolve and solve what? whatever you need to solve and resolve. I hope a lot of this, I hope this has made sense because, to be honest, I try, I always try to think of the meta side of all of this. What am I trying to do? And I'm really just. It's a reminder that, to me anyway, that there's so much more that you can find and it's all in you and there's so much more of you to find and to keep it, put it on paper. And I think it just makes so much sense. I love you to think, well, that makes sense. I'm going to do that. Take up my bloody challenge. Take up my challenge and find out. You see, I believe this is where your dreams are formed. And then they're made and then you plan them and then you begin to schedule. We've got that bloody diary again, haven't we? And then we start scheduling for stuff and then we review the week and we review our plans and without that puzzle book, without that diary, without you consciously committing to this, your life might just say the same. And I don't Want that for you. I want your life to get so rich. Rich in every way, shape or form. So colorful, so exciting, so passionate with wonderful emotions. And I know you might thinking, yeah, you're bigging this one up, Cloughie. I don't think I am. I really don't think I am. It comes from these simple little things. In simplicity, there's fucking genius. And this is so simple. Take up my challenge.     Go on, I dare you. Go away and have a think about thinking   Go on, I dare you. And then when you do, let me know how you got on. Always love your feedback. Hey, your feedback might be claphy. You're not swearing enough. Sorry, I have started swearing a bit more in here. but that's because I'm getting more passionate about some of the stuff I'm talking about now, I think. And it's me, but hopefully that's okay. But do email me feedback@personaldevelopment unplugged.com if there's any of those questions. Well, I'm sitting down, but I'm getting a bit stuck. Let me know what you're getting stuck on. I'll find something that will take that unstuckiness, away or that stuck in us away. I promise I will. I can. That's what I do. Please do that. And maybe get somebody else on the challenge as well by sharing this episode. Let them know it's just a thinking thing. And it is only thinking better because that's what you do. You think. So we might as well use that skill of thinking and get it better. Get that muscle really pumping. And when you do that, people will see you and they'll go, shit, look at them. Look at them go. I can do that too. You inspire people and you'll never know how far the ripples of that change go. You really won't. But you know, you're creating that change in you and other people. What a wonderful thing to do. All because you listened to Cloughie and you did that seven day challenge and you continued listening and you continue to subscribe. Because if you haven't subscribed, why the not, please press that subscribe button. But the feedback is great. I'd much more prefer, much more prefer the feedback, but I'd like to subscribe too. Okay. Anyway, that's all there is. Go away and have a think about thinking and then take up the challenge. I dare you, dare you to create your dreams and the life that you really want.     Personal development unplugged. It's time to fly on your own   Time to fly. Bye. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul . It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Be Your Own Hero – A Journey to Self-Discovery Unplugging Personal Development, Finding the Real You Hey there, Cloughie here! In today's episode of *Personal Development Unplugged*, we're breaking free from the usual self-improvement treadmill to explore something more authentic. Have you ever felt lost in the quest to become "the best version of yourself"? I have. That's why I'm here to propose a new direction: instead of chasing perfection, let's learn to **be our own hero**. The Gym Epiphany In a rare quiet moment at the gym, I had a realization that hit me like a ton of bricks. Being your own hero isn't about comparison or constant improvement; it's about identifying and embodying the unique qualities that *truly matter* to you. So, grab a pen and your "puzzle book" because we're diving deep into this together. Questions to Kickstart Your Journey We're getting hands-on with some powerful questions to help you craft your personal hero. Here's what to ask yourself: - What does my hero stand for? - What values do they hold, and what kind of life do they live? - How do they show up in service to others? - What dreams fuel their journey? aren't just “feel-good” questions; they're tools to uncover what really drives you and align with your own unique potential. This Episode is for YOU if: - You're tired of feeling pressured to be the “best” version of yourself - You want to reconnect with a sense of purpose that feels real - You're ready to visualize and live out the values that make you feel most alive Your Journey Starts Here By the end of our time together, I hope you'll walk away with a clearer picture of your hero and a renewed commitment to live in alignment with that vision—one small, powerful step at a time. Listen, Share, Shine So if this episode inspires you, please share it. Let's create a ripple of people who are ready to live with purpose and shine brightly as their own heroes. Catch the episode at:https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/417-how-to-be-a-hero/ Shine brightly, Paul Clough Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,     And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, in all these, bits of self development, self improvement and going to make the best version of yourself and all that. Constant never end improvement. My question is towards what and how and who? So I've delved into that in a special way. I think you find it interesting Hey, friend, I need your help. I need your help because. Are you puzzled as I am? Because I'm puzzled and I'm puzzled about bloody personal development, which is quite strange because I've been in that type of genre for bloody years. You know, helping people with hypnotherapy, hypnosis, timeline therapy, nlp. All about developing ourselves and to what end. So what is the direction of personal development? It's a lovely term, personal development, self development. But what we get these things. There's a lovely thing called Can I. Constant and, never ending improvement. Again, great thing. The actual concept of constant and never ending improvement is good, but to me it's slightly overwhelming. everyday constant, never ending improvement. Something I'd like to do, but I'm m confused. And then there's that one thing. Can we do 1% better each time we do it or 1% every day? Which is a bit like constant and never ending improvement, but you know, sounds good because they do. They're all like these wonderful memes. And I hate memes, by the way. Well, most of them. It just sounds good, you know, striving to be better. sounds m good too, doesn't it? Yeah. I'm in personal development because I want to be. I want to be better. What a generalization that is. I just want to be better, you see. Towards what? What we. Where are we heading in our personal development M why are we doing this? You know, where are we? What is the target? what is the aim? Towards what? Constant never ending improvement. Towards what? 1% more towards what? Striving to be better towards what? And that's why I'm getting confused. And I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be because this is part of my life sharing these type of things. And so this is why I'm opening up to you. Because I'm a little bit lost. Well, I was. I think. I think I was lost. You see, this thing just puzzled me, you know, what is the best version of ourselves? Because that's what I've been talking about as well. The aim is to become the best version of ourselves. But again, how general is that? The best version. What does it mean? What do you think of when you do that? I get a very fuzzy picture of myself sometimes. And it's the same bloody picture. Sometimes it's over and over again. Bit like the act of gratitude, you know, you can do it really well, but sometimes it's just by rote, isn't it? Same things. And when I think of that best version of myself, or a little while ago, it didn't inspire me anymore. And that was sad because this is my life. It's your life, isn't it? Are you confused? But I want you to help me. Well, help me as I just go through this. You see, a little while ago, not too long ago, I had an aha, moment again. I was in the bloody gym then. I was. It always seems to happen when I'm on that bloody walking machine. So I'm gonna go in there more often, I think. There I was walking away and I was listening to a podcast which included David Goggins. I love David Goggins. He's a bit way out there, but inspirational. And he swears a lot, which is, no mad, no bad thing, I don't think, anyway. And to his credit, I think, you know, don't be like me, don't be like me if you want, be inspired to think a little bit like me. But he did inspire me to think because he said this one. Well, how many? One, two, three, four words. Four words. And it was lost in a sentence because they carried on talking, but to me, suddenly, boom, it was there. Four words. Dramatic pause. What were those four?     Be your own hero is what I'm looking for in life   I'll tell you what those four words were. Be your own hero. I thought, fuck, yeah, that. That's what I'm looking for, be my own hero. Because I can. Well, it gives me something to work on, to flesh out, doesn't it? And what a way to live. Striving to be your own hero.     Imagine if you were living your life as your own hero   And before we go into that, just imagine, just for a moment, without visualizing anything at all, just think if you were living your life as your own hero, what'd it feel like? And to me, it gave me such a buzz. If I could only live like my own hero, that would be it. Now I've got something to strive for, because that is the best version of myself. That is what I would try to improve every day. Constant, never end improvement. To be that hero. If I only improve 1% a day to become my own hero, it would be there. If I just strived to be closer, not better, but to be closer to that version of My own hero. What a way to live. That's what I think. To me anyway. What do you think? Take a moment now just to think. If I was to be my own hero, living my life. Wow. Because that would be it, wouldn't it? But let's dive a little bit deeper. well, I did, you see. I did. I did with the help of my son's mastermind group because I asked them to help me to contribute to flesh it out, as it were. Now let's see if we can might even put this into a process. Later on I might put it into a hypnosis track, See where we go with that. But first of all, let's just think. And I got my puzzle book out for this by the way. Think about it. That's my puzzle book. I do, I can, I can sell the puzzle books to you. In fact, they are available in every good bookshop because they're just a plain, plain paper. You can get them lined, you can get them with little dots on what look like squares. But I love plain paper because it gives me the freedom. Or you can have, it's a piece of paper, it doesn't matter. But I use my puzzle book. And in the middle of my puzzle book, right in the middle, I open the, open up two pages so I've got the whole like all of it. And in the middle I put be your own hero. I thought, yeah, that's pretty good. But then I put after it, aspire to be your own hero. Cloughie. And I drew a little smiley face with a, with a halo over the top. I don't know why it made me laugh, but I, I started asking myself questions to flesh this out. And I want you to think if you could, which maybe helped me inspire myself to flesh it out, ask these questions. And I started to get some answers and answer the questions and I maybe just fill in some of the things I got which may get you consciously and unconsciously, because I want your unconscious mind to think about this. Because if you think about it unconsciously, if you're living your life as your superhero, you are living the best life you are the healthiest you have, or you're dealing with any stress and problems you're dealing with them. Therefore you're in the safest possible world of your own, which is where your unconscious you, the unconscious mind want them to be. Isn't it talking to your best friend now. So anyway, I'll come back to that. Yeah.     What are your highest values? What would your superhero stand for   So what is your best. So what would your hero Stand for what is. Stand for who? What would they stand for? Your best hero. You see, I wrote down fairness. if there is such a thing as fairness in an unfair world, because the world is unfair. And that's another. Another topic. But fairness, as best they could. But that was the first thing that came to mind, just to be fair, treating people with fairness. That's what my superhero would do. Superhero now, by the way. And what wouldn't your hero stand for? What wouldn't they accept? And for me, it jumped out and I was a bit harsh because I said, liars. I won't accept lies. People who don't tell the truth. My superhero wouldn't accept selfishness or rudeness or any of that. Just not acceptable. And that just got me to think, that's a. There's some stuff in there. Maybe I'll flesh that out again. But maybe you could think, what would your superhero not. Not accept? And what would they stand for? Firm. You, see in there, there's a set of values in there. So what is. Or what are is better word, the values of your superhero, the ones you despire to be. You see, I thought of mine. What are my highest values? And I've had these since I found them, basically when I did, a values exercise way, way, way back into a distant age. And it was always trusted honesty. And I wrote those down and ticked them again because I can't think of anything higher for me. So my hero, my superheroes, would have in his heart, trust and honesty. And then there was a side. Listening before talking. I don't know where that came from. That just slipped in. And, I know I have been thinking about that for a long time. In fact, there's. I think I've either have done or will do an episode on that. How to be heard. That's what it's called, how to be heard. In fact, I think that was the last one bit short because it muddled up in episodes in my head. But hey, listening before talking.     What would your superhero, your hero, believe in   Now, what would your superhero, your hero, believe in? What would their beliefs be? And I thought about this, and again, what I did was I wrote these questions down and then I came back to them because I wanted them to, I hoped, come from not my. Just my conscious mind, but from my unconscious mind and let my conscious mind, like, decipher what I was thinking inside. And the same type of beliefs that I try to have as best I can, I know they're right. Sometimes they get a little bit. They're bent or pushed against, but I'VE got this. I'm okay now. They're so subtle to me. They just give me that inner strength. I'm okay. And then I thought, well, that's fine, but is there anything else below that? And the belief I got was everyone can change if they want to. That just means leaving the door open, doesn't it? And I thought, well, that's again, come from all my work with therapy. People want to change. We can find a way because I've got this. And it just made sense to me. But what beliefs would your hero have? What would they have at their core along with those values? Because values and beliefs at identity level are, ah, so powerful. They're what set our direction. I think they're what, you know, inspire us, even though we don't know. Sometimes they could say below the surface. But this is like bringing them out into our conscious awareness. And we can go, yeah, yeah. And, I thought, keep going with this. Who does my hero look up to? Who does your hero look up to? And, I didn't have a person in mind. Nothing came up. But then I thought, well, anyone showing kindness, because that leaves it so open to looking for people who show kindness. And again, looking for anyone who is showing up to stand up and be prepared to stand up for what's right. And that's a little bit like the very beginning, isn't it? What would your hero stand for? And, not accept? And then this one that hit me a little bit, little bit in me. Well, a lot of it is in me. It's all me, isn't it? It's all about me. But this is all about you too. But the one thing that came along and then just like, knocked me between the eyes was someone who can say sorry when it's needed, when it's proper, when it's, when it's, when it's the right thing to do. Because I know I don't, I don't do that, don't do it always. I have to force myself sometimes. And I don't know why. And that's something I'll have to be working on. Maybe that's too much information, you know. And, I got a lot of stuff. I got a lot of stuff. Everyone's got stuff. I got good stuff to share and I got some stuff inside still to work on. Everyone's got stuff to work on. But again, if my superhero, and if I could aspire to be that, then I will be saying sorry if I need to, if it's needed. Because it can't be right all the time. Oh, we always want to make a mistake about loads, isn't it? and then I thought of this. What dreams does my hero have? Have a think now. What? What do you think? Your hero? If you could aspire to be that person, what dreams would they have? Because you sometimes think, well, maybe that hero would have everything. But no, they still have dreams. But, wow, what dreams would they be? Because they're coming from a foundation of absolute wonder. I haven't got an answer for this yet because I'm still dreaming to be my hero, and I find it hard to get hold of that. But they'll come. It'll come. I'll come back to this puzzle book. Look out, look at this. And suddenly I'll know I'll get the answer, because that's the whole. This is an aside now. this is a great thing about having things like a puzzle book and writing that sucker down. Because I did at least two to three efforts on this. First of all, I just wrote out one or two questions with that central theme, and then I began to flesh it out. Then I got a few more questions, and I know I'll flesh it out even more because it's a work in progress, isn't it? You know, I'm a work in progress. You're a bloody work in progress. We're all nearly swore. We're all work in progress, aren't we? I did swear so. Because it felt good.     How does your superhero provide service? What is selfless service   But maybe you want to think about that. What are your dreams? And are they the dreams that your superhero still, has? And then I thought, well, I got this lovely person now. My hero, the one I strive and aspire to be. How does my hero provide service? Because I do believe we. We should be giving. And I don't like the word should, but, you know, everyone should give service to somebody, to something. Doesn't be somebody. Could be something. Could be the land, could be. Could be animals, could be anything at all. But what is selfless service? You know, it's that one where you don't expect any repayment whatsoever. It's for free with my compliments, no charge. You know, you're welcome. That's the only thing I want to be able to say, you're welcome, and do it. I made this note again. It's sopy. And I even wrote sopy in brackets with love and a smile. That's how my hero provides service. I'm not sure what. What it would be in what. What genre, what type of thing, but I just know that my Superhero would be looking to do and give your welcome with love and a smile. And to do that I, made a note. Mastering becoming a master of emotions, becoming a master of actions, becoming master of beliefs, and becoming a master of skills. Because to give selfless service, you're giving your skills. So you need to be able to access all those skills and practice accessing those skills and practicing using those skills. Because just having them is no fucking good at all. If you know a lot but don't use it, what's the point of knowing it? That's just ego driven, isn't it? But if you can do what you know and know what you do and get and put it into the form of selfless service where you're welcome, he said with love and a smile, that's my hero. That's what I want to strive to be. And then, I put, how does a hero, my hero behave in the world? Because we have values, we have beliefs, we have skills. But it also ends up as a behavior, doesn't it? Everything is a behavior. And I've got. It's quite strange with integrity. But again, what does integrity mean? I got an idea, obviously, but then I wrote softly with inner pride and in capital letters, the last bit with the heart of a warrior and the warriors written in capital letters uppercase. Because if you can have inner pride, act and behave like a warrior inside with integrity and with everything else I've put together, I thought I've got the makings. I've got a recipe of a real hero that I can strive to be because it inspires me. And I wonder what yours does. How would your hero behave in the world? Here's the thing that I know that you see all these things and the more I'm going to flesh it out and the more you're going to flesh it out are, inside you anyway. Already you have all of these wonderful skills, traits, whatever you want to call it, they're in there because they would if you, you couldn't be able to bring them out on paper to think about them if they weren't in there somewhere. So you have all of these things. It's a matter of accessing them m and bringing them out in full to keep practicing, to keep striving to get that constant and never improvement of your, of everything you've got which starts inside with what you've got now and then improving it. One percent maybe. So there you go. I don't know if any of that made sense.     Paul: I hope this podcast inspires you to think of your superhero   This is a ramble I know it's a heartfelt ramble, by the way, because this is really important to me and I hope, one of my hopes is that I can inspire you to think of your hero, because it's what you deserve. It's what you deserve to live or how to live as your hero. But we need to have that direction. We need to have the thought about what it is to be specific, not just constant and never ending improvement. Now I know what I want. I want to constantly be improving. For now, I, know what, I'm 1% every day bringing this to mind. So I need some, something to bring it to mind every day, which is where we get visualizations and things like. But I can now visualize my superhero, my hero, me, the person I strive to be. That is the best version of me. And it gets better. The more I work on it, the better it'll be, the clearer it'll be. And when I look back, I'll be going, okay, Cloughie, we're doing it. Maybe not all of it. It won't be all of it because it's always more. Whatever you think you are, you're always more than that too. So you're closer. Maybe that's a bit weird language, but you are. So I hope you know I have inspired you just if nothing else to think about it. Please get a puzzle book, please get a piece of paper, pen, pencil, colored crayons, whatever, and maybe just right in the middle, my hero. Maybe be your hero. What is my hero? Whatever it is, whatever is right for you. And just with lines going away from the sender. Just begin to maybe think about what are the values, what are the beliefs, what will your hero stand for? Not accept, what type of service, what do they dream of, how do they behave, who do they look up to, all that stuff. I think I will be doing a hypnosis track on that just to help you flesh it out in your conscious and unconscious mind. Let's get them both going. So it becomes an unconscious target to the aim in mind to be that best version of yourself. A best version that we can now grasp, hold, feel, as it were. Because when you've. Even if you just took my hero, and I know it's not you, but if you took the elements that resonate within you and add your little bits, you could feel it. Can't you begin to feel what it would feel like? And it's that feeling of the wish fulfilled once we start working or working on us with that feeling first in mind, the feeling of the wish fulfilled and then be. Guess what? What would happen if we acted as if. Acted as if we were that superhero with all those wonderful traits, values, beliefs. Fuck it. We'd be there. Nearly there. Jesus. I'm sorry about all the swearing, but, I get emotional about this bloody stuff because a lot of this is just me pouring out the things I'm thinking about about me. And hopefully you can come along with me in parallel with your thoughts, your desires, your dreams, your goals. To be the very best person that enjoys life, the life you deserve. Anyway, I hope that made sense. Please, if there's anything that doesn't make sense or anything you want about that, more detail or whatever, something you didn't understand, maybe I didn't explain it right or something, you go, ah, Paul, what about this Cloughie? I thought about something. If there's anything like that, please do email me. I'd love to hear it. It'll inspire me to do more for myself and for other people too. How do you do that? Feedback at Personal Development Unplugged. dot com. And I'll be there for you. And we'll create even better lives for ourselves. Become. Get our superhero being even more. I wonder what our superheroes hero is. Oh, there's another concept. Let's go another level. So if you would email me and if you could share this episode and share the podcast, it would mean so much to me. It really would. It's a way of paying it forward. It's a way of selfless service. But it would mean, I think other people would get whatever golden nuggets I put out there, known and unknown, conscious and unconscious. I think it would be. That would be very kind. Very kind. And it's very kind of you to spend your time with me, listen to me prattle on about me and the things I'm thinking about. So have more fun than you can stand. And, find joy wherever you look.     Paul Clough advises you to leave personal development unplugged   It's time to fly, my friend. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

How To Be Heard When No-one's Listening Listen to Be Heard: Transforming Conversations & Connections Hey, do you ever feel like you're just *not being heard*? It's that feeling that no matter how much you try to express yourself, it just doesn't seem to land. It's something we all face, because, deep down, we all crave that feeling of being listened to and understood. But here's the secret: it's not really about how loudly we speak; it's about how deeply we listen—starting with listening to ourselves. In today's episode, we're peeling back the layers on the art of communication and discovering how you can finally be heard by others in a way that resonates. I'll be sharing some personal insights and real-life moments that taught me just how powerful true listening can be. And we'll be looking at some of the biggest hurdles that get in our way—like that pesky inner voice that tells us we're not worth it, or that whispers doubt when we try to connect. But here's the thing: *we can change that.* Here's what we'll be diving into today: 1. **The Real Barrier to Being Heard: Your Own Inner Voice.** Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to being heard isn't the person in front of us but the voice in our own head. I'll walk you through some of the ways I've learned to quiet this inner chatter, and how you can start asking yourself better questions to shift your perspective. 2. **The Power of Questions in Communication.** Have you ever thought about how you phrase the questions in your mind? Not just questions to others, but the ones you ask yourself. We'll explore how asking the right questions can instantly improve how you connect with people, making them more receptive and engaged in the conversation . 3. **How Listening Is the Key to Being Heard.** Yep, you heard it right! The art of listening can make others listen to you, too. When you practice becoming an attentive listener, it opens the door for more meaningful exchanges—and in a way, they can't help but want to listen to you in return. **What You'll Walk Away With:** - **Practical Steps for Better Communication.** I'll give you the tools to ask yourself the right questions, so you can engage others without the strain of feeling unheard. - **The Role of Self-Reflection and Visualization.** By pausing to reflect on what you need out of a conversation and envisioning that outcome, you'll start noticing your words resonate more. - **How Vulnerability and Genuine Curiosity Create Stronger Connections.** It's amazing how, when you show a real interest in others, those walls between you start to fall, building the foundation for truly rich relationships. By the end of this episode, you'll have a toolkit to not only be heard but to hear others in a way that's deeply enriching. It's all about stepping out of your own way, letting go of those old barriers, and embracing a fresh, straightforward approach to communication. Ready to transform the way you connect with others? Let's dive in. Link to share, please pay it forward     https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/416-how-to-be-heard-when-no-ones-listening   Shine brightly, Paul *P.S. Remember, I'd love to hear from you! Drop a comment or email me with your thoughts, questions, or feedback at feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. And if this episode resonates, please share it with others and subscribe to stay connected.* If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Do you ever feel that you're not being listened to   Do you ever feel that you're not listened to, that you're not being heard? And we all want to be heard, don't we? We all want to be listened to. Well, I've got some examples of what happens, and I've got some answers of how we can be heard, how we can be. How we can be listened, and how we can use it to become the best version of ourselves. Okay, that's of interest. Take a listen.   T his is Personal Development Unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. Just want you to know this. The answers are always hiding in plain sight. And this is for me. Well, sort of the intention of this episode is to remind me to do something, to get out of my own way. M. Maybe. And I think, well, let me. Let me do this. Let me do this. Have you heard. Have these words ever come from your lips? You just don't get it. Are you listening to me? Are you actually listening to me? What is it about it? What don't you understand? What? Why? How many times does that get said? You know, have you said it? How have you said it? I don't know. Or is it just me? It can't just be me, can it? Is this episode just about the things that. Well, maybe, you see, maybe this is all about me. This is me sharing my personal stuff all the time. Now, I've decided to try to go that way more because I think what one person experiences, so many other people do too. So if, as I go through this, maybe it'll just resonate a little deeper with you. And then when we get to the solutions, because we're always going to find solutions somewhere, maybe they'll resonate too. You see, you say that out loud. You don't get it. No, you're not. You're not listening. But then there's that bloody inner voice that we have in there where we start commenting on this. A commentary. Well, I've never. They never listen to me. Why are they never listening? Why that? Why don't they. What? Why fuck, me? No one understands me. And, why don't they. To get that. Never had that again. Or that could just be me. Maybe you don't swear. And then we get to the next bit of that. That internal voice with again, where we start to share some limiting beliefs that, we've come up with because of this. The things like, well, I must be stupid. I must be stupid. You know, no one's. You know, and it's just not worth it not worth. Not worth it. And in fact, because of that, I'm not worth it. Now, that's so general, isn't it? They're all so general. Got nothing to do with this at all, really. Because guess what? None of that is actually true, is it? Because people do listen. You're not stupid. You are worth it. So it's not true. Now, here's the problem I have, and I think it's true. When you say those sort of things to yourself, said it before, there's only one person listening to you, and that's your unconscious mind. And, by saying those things, I'm never listened to. No one understands me. I'm stupid, not worth it. It's like you're reinforcing those bloody things and your unconscious mind, your best friend, your servant, no, not a servant, likes to serve you because it's you says, oh, if that's what you really think, I'll find you some examples to make it seem even truer. And, you do, and it just perpetuates. And, this keeps going on, doesn't it? And you see, all those things are just shit questions and shit statements. Why are they shit? Well, ask yourself, how good are they working for you right now? I'll ask myself. Well, that's what I ask myself. I'm not asking you, asking me how good are they working for me. When I say things like that, even on the outside, with my outside voice or that internal voice of mine. And it's not bloody working, is it? Because, again, I'm not communicating. I'm not sharing what I know. I'm not. It's just not helping. And it gets worse, doesn't it? I talk to myself, by the way. Yeah, it gets worse because of those type of things.     How do I get others to listen to me? I've got some questions   This was getting to me because I wanted to be able to be listened to, to be heard. So I sat down and had a little think. I want to share with you just a couple, a couple of ways how I'm overcoming this so I can be heard, so I can share the things that I feel are important. And, maybe people will. Well, if nothing, if they don't understand it, they might understand me better. And I'm going to do it in reverse order. What does that mean? Well, these bonky, shitty statements and questions we're asking ourselves, you see, we ask better questions, don't we? That would be the way. Stop asking bonky questions and be more intentional. What do you really want? Because if I'm going to say I'm never listened to, that's not really going to get me anywhere, is it? If I'm telling myself I'm stupid or not worth it, it's not going to get me anywhere. What do I really want? What's my intention? Well, if my intentions to be heard, maybe just ask myself, how can I get better, at communicating? What a question. How can I say or ask things differently? Now you can think those and you go, oh, well, maybe I could, you know, think about what I'm going to say first. Maybe just, I don't know, maybe contemplate, pause, breathe, all that stuff. But there are better questions. And the thing is, I believe, and this is what I try to do now is I get my little old puzzle book out. Me piece of paper, me pen, and it doesn't take long. I just quietly write these type of questions down. And I'll muse and I'll think, how, how can I say things differently? What do I want to communicate? There was my intention for communicating these things communic. What was my intention for saying these things? And it's because I want to get a better connection with people. I, know that. And I really do want to get that connection. I do really want to share what I feel and what I think. Now once I get that on paper, I can now really get my unconscious mind as well to think. Because having written it down, it's like my internal voice. I'm looking at the words I write, everything goes inside. And my unconscious mind can actually start to think about it too. You know, what do I do? How could I be listened to? How can I be listened to? What can I do to be listened differently? Is it my posture? Is it my voice? Is it my. You know, there's things which are going on which are, doing things. How can I just say things differently? Maybe it's a different set of words. Maybe I've got to think about that other person. And I don't like the word make. But what would make others listen to me? So how could I maybe. How could I get others to listen to me? I've got the answers to that and it's a bit weird. So that's the second part. But I'm not there yet. I'm still on my questions. So how can I say things differently and still and, be understood better? And I know I'm not stupid. So how, if I was to imagine it, how would I want those things to be? Those, those events to be? How would I like to be there? Maybe that's part of the answer in number two in a moment. But maybe I could learn something by just thinking how I want it to be One thing. What got me was I said, I wrote down. Is what I'm saying worth it? No, the obvious answer to that as well. It's obviously worth it to me. But then I turn it on its head. What's it worth to the other person? And, why should they listen? And then to get motivation, it hit me a little bit, said, well, what would it be like? I'll say that bit more clearly. What would it be like if I was understood? If I was seen and what. And I was heard? What would that be like? What opportunities would it give me? How would my connection grow? That gives me motivation to start thinking again. You know, how can I say things differently? How can I say. Say things in a way that it would be valuable to that other person to share something. Maybe it's just to share it with me, but to say it in a way that got them to feel what I feel, that they would actually listen to me. And that's the thing about this thing about listening to me. We go back to the second part that I thought of, which was like, number one of they're not listening to me. The first part I've dealt with all the internal voices, ish. Just got to come up with the answers. But the start is to think about it, to visualize it. But how do I get people to listen? And I, ask myself the question, what about you, Cluffy? What about you? Do you really listen to others? The old two ears and one mouth came to mind. Do I really listen? Got me. Because I was more interested in me, what I had to say.     To really listen to somebody is to. And, uh, when I say listen,   I wasn't thinking about the other person that much, was I? I mean. And, when I say listen, and I've talked about listening before in episodes, I can't remember which ones, but there's. To really listen to somebody is to. And there's a knot in here. Not listening with half a mind of what you're going to be saying next. You're knowing what you want to say and waiting for that gap. And you effectively disregard anything they've bloody said because you haven't listened to it. You just waited for a gap in their conversation to go, but, no, but this is what it should be. Now, that's not listening, is it? You're still listening to yourself, by the way. This is not you, me. I'm still listening to myself when I do that. So it's really a matter of getting out of your way. This is one of the notes I made. Step out of your way. Because if you really want to be heard, maybe you just have to listen more clearly, more openly. So stop that talking to yourself of what you want to say and really listen. Because I thought about this, and people say. And it makes sense to me now, if you want to be heard and, listened to. Become a good listener. Not to. No, no, fuck that. Not a good listener. Become. Become a great listener. Pay attention. Pay attention with only them, that person in mind. And what happens when you do that? Well, things happen, don't they? You begin to understand that person better. You may not agree, but at least you understand where they're coming from. Maybe because of your open mind and I think even more importantly, and this is what you want for you, this is what I want for myself. They will feel understood because I want to feel understood. And if I really listen to them and they feel understood, guess what happens in that wonderful act of rapport? They will respond. They will. They, will respond by listening to you. Just like you listen to them. Oh, blimey, isn't that the thing to do? Because it's that thing when you really listen to somebody. You. You somehow get to be in their shoes. If you're really open, with no thought of your own. Just a. I want to just say to yourself, I've got time. I want to understand you. And because of that, you will then talk to them in a different way. Now, here's the thing. Just a quick one. Just come to my mind. Listen to yourself sometimes. Get out of your way. Just listen to yourself, and maybe you'll understand yourself better. You'll talk to yourself better. You'll ask better questions. Oh, there we go. Get those questions again. And when you really listen to yourself better, who are you listening to? Your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. You know, you're maybe thinking about the better questions you can ask yourself now. Because you know what your intention is, what you want. When you listen to yourself. Maybe it's that personal issue that you're going through, and you need to listen to yourself openly, not have that one thing in mind. But no, I want to listen to myself. Set myself some good questions so I can find some bloody great answers. And then I can try them on. Try them on either with visualization, but when you visualize, try, on to see what it feels like. So see what you'll see, hear what you'll hear. And feel the bloody feelings. And if it feels good, you go, this m. Is something I can work on. And then maybe you'll share it with somebody and maybe when they talk or they share themselves with you, you'll listen better and you'll learn more. It's all about learning, isn't it? And then acting upon those learnings. And, when we do that, isn't it a wonderful thing to give time to people just to listen? And maybe we just use it as a skill to start off with, just want to listen, get myself out the bloody way. You know, it's counterintuitive. If you really want to be heard, you got to listen better yourself. And then you become a better you. That's the thing. What I thought is important about this. It's not important or as important. No, get the other way around, Cloughie. It's important to be heard, but it's not as important to be a better you. And that better you. You know, in some ways, listening is like a selfless service. But you are going to get something in return. You're going to understand people better. You're going to maybe find things that you will help you as well, because you're really listening. And you go, ah, I never thought about that. Now that is interesting. I'll take that away with me. Maybe I don't agree with it in total, but there's something in there. Because you've listened, really listened. So that's it, really.     Sometimes it's difficult to know what you do want in a podcast   That was me talking about me, because I don't get listened to enough. It's a weird thing for someone who does a podcast, but it's always a thing. These answers are hiding in plain sight. They are for me anyway. And I just miss them sometimes. And sometimes it's just sitting down and thinking, you know, what I want, what am m I or what don't I want to start off with? Well, I don't, because sometimes it's difficult to know what you do want. So let's find out what I don't want. And then, well, if I didn't have that, what would I have instead? So I don't want to be ignored. I want to be listened to. I want to be able to share the things that are important to me. Well, to do that, I don't get a right. It's not my right to be listened to. I have to listen first. I have to give first. Because the thing is with that act of selfless service, you say it before you do it for no want of return at all. But you get dolloped on, with wonderful things in return. It's wonderful that way. And these are just little things in life. Because what's it all about, you know, when we really communicate with people, Isn't it lovely when we really understand somebody? Isn't that lovely? You know, don't, know why I keep saying, you know. But I often think, and I've had it before, maybe you have. Does this resonate with you occasionally? It's not always, but I want to do it more. When I've really listened to somebody, I've suddenly found out something really special about them that I didn't know. And I thought, wow, you surprised me. You know, they tell you what they're interested in, what their hobbies or what they've experienced in the past, you go, wow, you did that. Oh, wow. And it inspires you to do more. And all you've done is listen and ask questions of them to get more to share. You know, maybe bloody, you know, again, I'm going to cut that out. I can't remember what I was going to say now, but just to be there, to share experiences. Oh, I know. I was going to say sometimes it means just being a little bit vulnerable, you know, that lovely word vulnerability. But it's not. It's just listening, isn't it? And then knowing that when you share, they'll listen. It's nice to be heard, but maybe. And the thing is, this is last thing. When you are communicating in a way that people can understand it, can understand you, can understand your intention, what you're trying to share. The thing is, you get to know it better, too. You do. It's always said that if you learn something, if you can share it with somebody verbally, you get to know how well you understand it. And, maybe where there's some gaps that you need to look further so you're never just blindly thinking, I know it all, you actually find, yeah, there's more to learn. Yeah, well, that was a ramble, my friend. it was all about me. That's what a lot of these podcast episodes have been about. And I think they'll be about more now. Something, again I'm thinking about to remind myself and hopefully in those reminders to re. Remind. I'll remind you of the skills that you've got, too. And one of them is how to be heard. Because you've got a lot to share. I hope it made perfect sense. Well, not perfect. I hope it made sense. If it didn't, please let me know. If there's something that it sparked in you. Maybe there's something that resonated. You go, ah, I'd love to hear about it. Feedback@personaldevelopment unplugged.com that's the email address. And he comes to me. I'm the only bugger here. And let's have a little dialogue, not a monologue. And maybe we could inspire each other and then use it to create an episode that inspires many. Wow, that is selfless service, isn't it? And we get the benefit. And the thing is, we get the result too. We get more. Enjoy. Please share this. Please do share this Again, as I said, just share what you know, but tell you know, if you would just tell it where you. Where you got the words out, where you got it from.     Do share the Personal Development Unplugged podcast on social media   Got it from Cloughie. There's a guy on the podcast, personaldevelopment unplugged.com you ought to subscribe like I have. You have subscribed, haven't you? But do share it. I mean, I know it's a big ask, and I do ask this, but what would happen if you just shared it on your social media? I heard a great episode. It's a personal development army. Personal Development Unplugged podcast. Yeah, you might just learn something that's a good thing to do. It'd be like a paying it forward bit of selfless service. Maybe you'll be heard. Okay, my friend, till next time. I'm gonna go and get my puzzle book out again. Okay, have fun. More fun than you can stand and be sharing in a kind way. Bye bye now. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

My Real Life Metaphor To See The World Clearly Seeing the World More Clearly: A Journey of Self-Investment Hey, welcome! Let's talk about clarity—what does it really mean to see the world clearly? And not just in the visual sense, but through the lens of your own personal development. In this episode, I (Paul Clough) share a personal story that might just give you that ‘aha' moment—a story that acts as a mirror for your own journey. Let's get into how investing in yourself can lead to clearer vision and, ultimately, a more fulfilling life. Here's the thing: personal growth isn't selfish. It's not about being self-centered; it's about being self-aware. It's about becoming the best version of you—not just for you, but for the people around you. Imagine this: when you see the world more clearly, you're able to show up as your true self—the real you—and that's a gift to everyone. So, what are we diving into today? Self-investment. Yep, that can sound scary. We often avoid it because, let's be real, the idea of change and improvement freaks us out. But that's exactly why it's so important! Getting over the fear of becoming your best self is like cleaning foggy glasses—you suddenly start to see the world differently, and things just… click. The ripple effect. Working on yourself isn't just about you. It's the most generous thing you can do for the world. When you grow, you naturally inspire others to grow too. It's contagious. Kindness as a power tool. Think of kindness as your superpower—not just being kind to others, but being kind to yourself. When you live with kindness and push yourself toward your full potential, life takes on a whole new meaning. What are you going to learn? How to recognize and create real, dynamic changes in your life. It's about small shifts that lead to massive transformations. The importance of regular self-reflection. It's not enough to grow once and call it a day—this is an ongoing journey, and guess what? You can tweak, adjust, and improve along the way. Acting “as if.” Want to be more confident, more compassionate, more successful? Start acting as if you already are. You'll be amazed at how quickly this simple mindset shift can turn into reality. This episode is about loving yourself, living kindly, and embracing continuous growth. You might just find that as you invest in yourself, the world becomes a brighter, clearer place, not just for you, but for everyone in your life. So, ready to see the world more clearly? Let's make that happen! Shine brightly, Paul Clough P.S. Share the episode and start the ripple effect: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/415-my-real-life-metaphor-to-see-the-world-clearly Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough talks about personal development in this podcast   Hey, I've got a simple, real life metaphor that really happened to me. And suddenly I found something else of how to see the world more clearly. Okay, please have a listen. Cause I think you'll enjoy it.   Some time ago, I decided to change the way I see the world   Hey. Some time ago, I decided to change the way that I see the world. Literally, how I see the world. You see, I had a lens. Well, both lens replacements, in my eyes. You see, before, in order to see sort of clearly, I had to wear glasses. And glasses for driving and long distance and things like that, and telly and that. But after a while, I didn't wear them so often. And, do you know what happens? Well, you just get used to the blur. It becomes normal. It becomes your normal. My normal. Well, it did became my normal. M so I decided I wanted to see a bit more clearly. I wanted to see the world clearly. So I literally had someone take out the lenses in my bloody eyes and, replace them with new ones. Yeah. And I am, not a brave little soldier, but I did it because I really wanted to see clearly. So was it expensive? Yeah, it was a little bit. It was. But it was important. So I found the money. It was important. It was important to see the world with more clarity, not just that blur where things, you know, the colors just faded into each other and the details just disappeared. Was I nervous? Yeah, I was. I told you, I'm not a brave little soldier. So was it uncomfortable? Yeah, it was a bit. It was uncomfortable. But when I think about it now, it wasn't very long. It was more uncomfortable thinking about it, I think. And then when it's done, it's gone. Did I have to do stuff? Did I have to have, like, a continuing thing? Was it just there and then? Yeah, I had to do bloody eye drops. I had to sleep with goggles on just in case I scratched myself and things like that. And did it turn out perfect? Well, not quite. Didn't turn out quite perfect. It was better. It was better. And, you see, it was only, this last week I went back because I wanted to see if I could tweak it, have one more little treatment. I had to keep working on it because I wasn't quite happy with the way I was. Was it pleasant? Well, not exactly. And then we're back to the bloody eye drops and back to the goggles. Yep, there. We're there again. So a little bit more uncomfortableness. But am I happy now? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And when I think back, and this is what got me into this, this, this thought and this story, I invested in me, I m invested in me. And therefore, it's like a real life metaphor. And you see, I always tell my clients when they get embarrassed about working on themselves, paying for therapy, maybe they think that they should be spending their time and their money on their family not working on themselves, because that's selfish, isn't it? And I find that's the most, well, selfish thing to do, not, not to work on yourself. You see, who would the p. Who would the people that you love prefer to be around when we're talking about you? Would they prefer to be around you when you're feeling your true self? You know, when you're seeing the world more clearly. And when I say clearly in seeing, I'm talking about through the emotions and limiting beliefs and negative emotions. And those feelings, when they're gone and you're feeling good with yourself, wouldn't they prefer to be around you when you're feeling that way? Of course they would. Of course they would. But the thing is, when they're feeling good about feeling, about being around you because you feel good, what happens to you? Will you feel bloody even gooder, if that's a word, you feel even better and then they feel better. And, it's a lovely spiral of going upwards as opposed to downwards. That's the opposite, isn't it? But they just feel really good. Yeah. So, investing, you see, I, I do a lot of talking and thinking of being kinder. Talked about it quite a bit. So it's in my, it's in my mind and it's. This is about me, but I think it might resonate maybe if you just, just give it a time. Just give it a moment or two as I speak, you see, I wanted to be kinder and thinking about being kinder, using my skills to do that. Why? Why would I want to do that? Well, because I don't think I'm doing enough. I don't do it enough. I can be kind, but it's not at the forefront of my horizon, my thinking. And when I was thinking about it, I'm not happy to blindly put up with it, not living to my potential, because there is potential in being kind again. When you're kind to somebody, you feel good, they feel good. Win win. But when you feel good and you're kind, people just want more of you. I guess.     What would make the most dynamic change in you and affect everything else   So when we think about it, how kind of you, you know, are you living your life to your true potential? Are you? What might happen if you did? What might happen if you did live your life to your true potential? Now, I know you're here listening. So you're into this personal development malarkey where you want to get a little bit better in your life. Strive to be the best version of yourself. And, that's why I want to make it all about you, you see? It is all about you. You have to come first. The old aeroplane thing, you know, put on your. If the air masks come down, put them on you before you deal with somebody else, so you can deal with other people because you're in a better state. And that's what I said right at the beginning. When you're feeling good about yourself, maybe you still want to get better. Well, you will. But when you're feeling good about yourself, people get the best of you. They see the best of you. So it is all about investing in yourself, taking the time, because it does take time. Taking the effort, because it does take bloody effort, doesn't it? I know it's simple when we break it down like we do here, break down the complicated into simple steps. And it's pretty easy, those steps, because they're simple, they're easy. But it does take effort, doesn't it? Does take effort to see yourself clearly, not as you are now, but how you can be, how, you want to be. My son Joseph has a lovely saying. That's Joseph Clough. Search him on the Internet. He is massive. But he has this little saying. He says, what you want wants you. Yeah. Have a think about that. What you want wants you, because it does. And if you want the best for yourself, that's what's there for you. It wants you to be the best for yourself. The whole world, the whole multiverse universe wants you to be the best version of yourself. But again, you have to put yourself into number one. And it's not just kindness, is it? It's not, is it? It's a great place to start, I believe, but it's whatever change you want to make. To make. I love to say this, to make the most dynamic change in you and then affect everything else in that dynamic. Change. Love the word dynamic. It feels like there's motion, emotion in it, isn't it? What would make the most dynamic change in you and affect everything else? It's like saying, what is the one thing that if you change, that everything else would have to change too? Just have a think now. Just have a think. If you could. What would you change? for me, it was kindness. That was the thing on my horizon. To see clearly, to be kind, to see opportunities of kindness, to be kind. Maybe that's because I felt that was. Well, I did. It was not on, as I said, the highest part of my agenda. And I thought it should be, should be of a higher value to me. But this dynamic change, is it quick? Well, it could be. Could be. If you've got something that you really need to change and it's really, you know, bringing you down, maybe because it's anxiety, maybe there's fear, maybe there's guilt, maybe there's grief, maybe there's, oh, everything. But if it's affecting you, go and see a therapist. You know that talk about it so many times, go. from my experience, if you find a great master hypnotist who is a great master practitioner of NLP, who is a great master practitioner of timeline therapy, you will blow that out of the water so quickly. But you do have to make the effort, don't you? You do have to make the effort. And you know, I've got something. How to find or what to look for in a great, great therapist somewhere back in the ether of all these episodes. Just search, it, you'll find it. But working on yourself, because you don't have to be a graduate therapist, because we're always continually working on ourselves, aren't we? That's why you're here. So it takes time. And to work on yourself in that time, you could say, just look at the back catalogue of the episodes here. There's loads of them. And those hypnosis tracks, they're all there for you. Where'd you get them? Paulcloughonline.com podcast. And there's so many other great podcasts around. I'm going to do a little episode on the ones that I find so good for me, and hopefully they'll be good for you.     NLP is about learning from the past, not reliving it   So you have to put the effort in, you have to spend the time, you have to make that decision. And is it comfortable? Yeah, well, not always, is it? It's not always comfortable. Just like the eyes. But it doesn't have to hurt again. What do you mean? Cloughie. Because sometimes people think you have to go back into the pain again, go back into the past, into those places of bloody trauma or whatever they are, and go back and re experience them, which is a load of bollocks you can think of. It really is. You don't have to go back to the places that you thought were hurtful. To find out that they're still bloody hurtful. No, no, no, no. Not at all. My sons and I work completely different. And it's such a wonderful way. You learn from the past, not relive it. You get your unconscious mind to learn from the past and not relive it. That's what the hypnosis is about. That's what the NLP is about. It's everything I do here is about learning, not reliving. The only times you relive are the good bloody things. When you're having a fucking fantastic time and it's good for you, good for everyone else and good for planet Earth, then you do relive that part. You anchor those parts so you can fire them off in the future whenever you need them. And again, there's anchoring in. That is his hypnosis tracks bullcliffonline.com podcast just a little one. And they're all free, by the way. They're free, complimentary. You don't even have to put anything down, just your name and an email, because it's all about unconscious learning. And when you get the unconscious learning, sometimes you get the conscious learning. And when you do that thinking, that puzzle book thinking, yeah, you get some conscious learning as well. But you're directing your unconscious mind to learn. And you see, the learning frees us from the negative emotions and the negative limiting beliefs because they're only there because we haven't learned. We only have anxieties and fears and things like that because our, unconscious mind is still using those emotions because we haven't learned the lessons from those past experiences. So once the unconscious mind learns what it needs to know, and it can let go of those negative emotions, let go of those limiting beliefs, because they no longer serve you because you have the learnings, it's the whole basis of timeline therapy, which is a beautiful, beautiful process. Thanks to Tad James for that. Bless him. He's up in heaven now. But what a process he developed there.     When you're developing yourself, you have to have regular checkups   So going back to like, that metaphor of the eyes, you have to have regular checkups. But when you're developing yourself, isn't that like reviewing how far you've come, what needs to be refined? I. What needs to be tweaked? Maybe you discover something else that needs a little bit of work. Because as you move through, I'm not going to call it, a comfort zone, your familiar zone, because that's what it all it is. As you go through that imaginary boundary, you come to things, you go, oh, oh, I didn't that's giving me just a little bit of concern, or maybe I just thinking I'm bit of an imposter here and all that crap. So you just do some tweaking. But when you review, you go, hang on a minute. I have come so far. I have learned so much. I ain't an imposter. I deserve to be here. And you learn anyway.     You've got to be kind to yourself first before you can love others   Back to that kindness. Back to that thing about kindness. I like the theme of kindness here. You see, when we work on ourselves, we work with our self development, our, personal development, whatever you want to call it, is. We want to work with kindness, don't we? Be kind to ourselves, for God's sake. You know, going to get soppy now, but, you know, you got to love yourself first before you can love others. You've got to be kind to yourself first before you can be kind to others. Because if not, you're not in alignment, you're not congruent. That's a lovely word as well, congruent. But you're not living your true self. You can't try to love others. You cannot try to be kind to others. You cannot whatever you want to be if you're not being it yourself, truly. So you have to live the way you want to be, don't you? Live the way you want to be. How do you do that? Act as if. So if you act as if, for example, you're being kind and looking. and to do that, you'd have to look for opportunities to be kind, and then you have to act on those opportunities, and then all of a sudden, you're being kind. If you want to be confident, not over competent. So let's say competent. Act as if. How would somebody act as if. How would you act as if you had that right amount of confidence. Not overconfidence, but, the appropriate amount of confidence, how would you act? How would you breathe? How would you stand? And if you want to remember to remind yourself, get a sticky note and stick it everywhere. Act as if. And this really just starts from being kind and loving to yourself first. Yeah, soppy. I said that before. It's soppy, but it really is true. Taking time out just to be with yourself, but it's also being kind to yourself. And, loving to yourself is investing in you first. Now, this all sounds absolutely bloody wonderful, doesn't it? And, the metaphor here is to get you thinking, get your unconscious mind to go, oh, yeah. What can we do? Well, we'll probably dive in. Well, I will do some more, longer podcasts with the steps of how to be kind to yourself, how to love yourself, how to whatever, whatever, whatever. But if there's anything particular you want to know, bloody ask. Don't be bashful, don't be shy. Just ask. Email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. and that's all you have to do. I'll get back to you personally, and then we'll divide, divide, devise a process, or I'll remember one that I've learned. So that's why I said, this is a just simple truth through a real story, seeing the world more clearly, becoming, well, maybe just thoughtful for the moment because. And the reason I'm hanging in here with this one is because I feel it's so important, because it's the foundation to build upon. What's that, Paul? Being kind of to yourself. Being loving to yourself. And, from that foundation, you can develop yourself into anything you choose. You really can. And sometimes, as I say, it won't be better roses. It might, you know, might be just uncomfortable for a little while, but it always disappears. But I say, just, I want to reiterate this. It doesn't have to hurt again. Promise you, it's how you want to be. When you focus on how you want to be, what are the skills you need to be to be that way? How would you have to believe all of that stuff? Do you learn from the past? Yeah. so please do get in contact with me. Please, just. I'd love you to share this with, well, as many people as you could. I'd love you to share the podcast. You know, just. Maybe just share on your contacts, maybe put it on Facebook. This, this is a great podcast. Or this is a good podcast. This is an interesting podcast. Maybe do that and just put it into all your contacts.     Paul Clough: Personal development is about being the best version of yourself   That would be lovely if you did that big ask. I know, because it takes at least 30 seconds, but, you know, it's a big ask. I know, because even telling people that you're listening to personal development, oh, what are you doing that for? It's a bit like myself. When I first started, I was doing an awful lot of stuff, but then I really got into this and I went to, to learn hypnosis, and it was embarrassing to tell people, I'm going to a course on hypnosis and hypnotherapy, but by the way, I'm in big business. It was embarrassing, but I wanted to see the world more clearly. I wanted to live to my true potential. I'm nearly doing that. Nearly not enough, because we're all the same. I think we're in the same boat. We all want to get that little bit more. So let's put that ladder against the wall that we know is going to help us achieve what we want to achieve. There's another little metaphor. Don't put the ladder up against the wrong wall. Have a think first, get your intention and then go. all this stuff we can expand upon, promise you. But this is just a thoughtful. A thoughtful muse to get you thinking of how you can see the world more clearly, how you can find those emotions that you just really feel would help you be that person, the real you. The best version of yourself. I hope all of this made bloody sense. I really do. I've waffled on, but it's come from the heart. And just remember, the people who you love would rather be around you when you're in love with yourself and being kind to yourself and being the best striving person to be the best version of yourself. Yeah. Okay, my friend. Until the next time. I will see you, hear you, hear you, not hear you, speak to you. I'll speak to you then. Enjoy. But please remember, if you want anything, just email me. Okay. Bye bye now.   Warning.   You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development. Unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

One Life No Excuses You Choose No Excuses, Just Choices Hey, my unplugged friends! Welcome back to the *Personal Development Unplugged* podcast. I'm Paul, and today we're getting right into the nitty-gritty of life. No fluff, no excuses, just real, raw choices. Because here's the deal—you've only got *one* life, so let's stop blaming, stop explaining, and start owning it. Let me start with a little story, a personal one. It's all about a Christmas card… yeah, a Christmas card. Sounds innocent enough, right? But it taught me something huge about responsibility. You ever done something and then thought, "What was I thinking?" or "Why did I do that?" Well, this is one of those moments. So, let's break it down: ### First, why do we need to take responsibility? It's simple—because when you own your choices, you get to shape your life. Every action you take, every decision, has consequences, good or bad. But here's the magic—when you acknowledge them, you also get the power to learn, to grow, and to make better choices next time. ### Then, how do we actually do it? I'm sharing practical strategies for reflecting on past actions—whether they were brilliant or a complete mess—and extracting the golden lessons from them. That's how you build a richer life. Not by avoiding mistakes, but by learning from them. ### And here's a big one: I've got five keys to success, and one of the biggest is acting *as if* you've already achieved your goals. When you start to live as the person you want to become, your brain and body align. Your decisions start matching the future you're aiming for. This isn't about being perfect, it's about making choices with intention. It's about setting expectations for yourself and your life. And, my friends, it's about choosing to take responsibility—because when you do, you take control. So, are you ready to stop making excuses and start flying? That's what this episode is all about. It's about embracing your one and only life, and making it yours. No one else is going to do it for you. Take a listen, absorb it, and most importantly, act on it. You've got the power, and it's all within your choices. As always, please share, and let's keep spreading the word—because the more we all take responsibility, the higher we can all soar. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/414-one-life-no-excuses-you-choose/ That's it for now—let's unplug from excuses and plug into *you*. See you soon! Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Stop your excuses and learn to choose how to live your life   One life, you choose how to live it. No excuses, no excuses. You've got this. There's no one else to blame. Now you've got this. Stop your excuses and learn to choose how to live your life. If you want more when you do Cloughie says sometimes we don't think about consequences of our actions   M hey, welcome back to the longer podcast. One life. One life. And you choose it. And you choose how to live it. Here's a question to you. Have you ever said this to yourself? What the hell was I thinking about? Why did I do, what is going on? how could I have done just that? You see, a million years ago, in my other life, when I used to be a director of a business, each year we used to give out Christmas cards, send them to all, the local people who employed us and did this stuff and what have you. There's quite a few, quite a few. And one year I decided to do something different. I don't know why I did it at the time, the very second I did it, I thought it was such a brilliant idea, I wrote a cheeky note. Instead of just happy Christmas, Paul, I wrote something else. And what happened? Well, it was, they were seen and there was a big stack of these cards and someone said, what the hell are you doing, Cloughie? This is not it, you can't do this. This is so wrong, so wrong. We're going to have to take all the cards back, we're going to have to throw those ones away, order some more. The people who have already signed all these cards are going to sign them again, and so have you. What else have you got to do? And I did think then the only good thing to do, the right thing to do was apologize. So I don't know what I did, I don't know why. I've let people down badly, I let myself down badly. But at the time, I thought it was the best thing to do. I really did, I thought I was doing something. So I did apologize. And it didn't matter how good that intention was, that behaviour was absolutely crap, wasn't it? And it hurt, bloody hurt when I did it, when I had to go around to each person. So I'm really sorry, you know, I fucked up, but I did learn from it, I did learn because no one else to blame, no one else to blame. I could have argued, oh, it's such a good thing. No, it was wrong, just didn't think about it. What about you? What about you? Have you ever done something like that? Something that you. You've done, but it's quite painful when you think about it now, but at the time, you thought it was a good thing to do. You see, what I didn't do, and I think what we don't do is stop and think about the consequences of our actions. I think we do. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the moment. And you see, this is a little bit like following on from one of the, short five minute quickie podcasts about taking responsibility. No excuses, you see, because you're here right now, listening to me prattle on, and that's your choice. It's a good choice, by the way. Fucking good choice. Yeah. It's a really good choice. In fact, wherever you are in life right now, at this very moment, this very moment in time, whatever you do, where you listen to me now, but whenever you listen to me, or, whenever you're doing right now, is your achievements. This point in time has been created by your achievements, by your cock ups, by your relationships. Basically, everything has been your choice. You have chosen every step of the way. And yeah, you can say, oh, no, no, I didn't, Paul, I didn't clavy, I didn't do that. People made me do that. Things made me do that. The weather made me the weather. The business. Business world, the crash on the Internet, all that stuff that made me. Can you think about that? Just think about it now, really? You're going to blame other people for your choices? Things that happened, for your choices? Yeah, they happened. But you chose to do something when it happened, didn't it? I want to take you back. Take you back in time. I want to take you right, right. All the way back in time to your birth. Really. Yeah. You see, when you were born, you came into this world like a clean slate. You didn't have any beliefs, you didn't have any behaviors other than cry, shit, eat all that stuff. But that's all you did, isn't it? That's all you did. And, from that very moment on, that very moment on, you chose. You chose what you did. You chose at that very moment what to believe, what to do, how to behave. Yeah, I know. There's one caveat. Well, there is. There is one caveat to this. You didn't do it consciously. It was your unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind made these choices, made these learnings. But you had to choose who to believe. Yeah, I know. We've got. When we were born, we had these people around us who, we took on their beliefs almost uncritically, most of them, it's big generalization, but most of them, we took on their beliefs. But even those, even when we chose to take on beliefs uncritical, they weren't even their beliefs, because they could have been other generations and generations and time changes. But we still chose. We still chose to do the things we did and we might even give excuses to.     NLP is all about taking time to learn from the past   Well, in my childhood wasn't that good. I had some negative experiences. I had trauma. There was bullies, there was this. There was that. Nah You know, you might say I didn't have a chance and I didn't have a choice. Yeah, you did. We all did. Because, you see, there's always that counterexample. People from similar backgrounds had similar opportunities or similar things happening to them in life, but they chose a different outcome because they didn't. They're not the same as you, or they're not the same as me, and they're not the same as anybody else. You see these people who will just lay off all those bloody excuses because it wasn't their fault. But the thing is, when you live in this world of lie, I call them lies because they're just reasons. They're excuses. We chose to live that life and they didn't. And they took their opportunities. They made different choices. They did the things that, well, they just made different choices. So where am I going with this? You see, I want to get us into this place where we're not living in the land of what we think are, excuses, but. Or reasons. They're reasons, really. We go, oh, this is the reason. And sometimes we bloody believe it. But the thing is, this reason is just a bloody excuse. I can't even say the word. It's an excuse. We're not taking responsibility. And you see, when we acknowledge that we chose, and we albeit chose unconsciously, and when we go back to NLP, neuro linguistic programming training, that there's some presuppositions, useful assumptions, the presuppositions of NLP. And one of them is everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have at that moment, their unconscious resources, their skills, their experiences in life. So we do the best we can, we try to make the best choice, just like I did when I did those bloody Christmas cards. But it was a fuck up. Sometimes we don't make the right choice. We don't think of the consequences. But, hey, that's life. But the thing is, if we take and acknowledge responsibility for that we become a cause, becoming empowered. And we can learn from them, can't we? We can learn from the results because they're not failures. They might see me at the time because they bloody hurt. but they're just results. We didn't realize what the result we're going to get. And what we got is what we got. We didn't like it. So no excuses. Yeah, I did it. That was me I chose. Don't know why. Something inside me, hey, I want to learn from it. Because when I do that, I can take control, control of my life, control of not necessarily what happens because you're not always certain what's going to happen, but we can be as certain as we can be, can't we? So it's all about taking time to learn from the past. And, it's not just learning about those so called failures, because the things that didn't happen, which didn't happen so good. We might call them failure, but they're just, as I say, they're just a result that we didn't expect to have happen. But we can learn from those, can't we? Because when we learn from them, any negative emotion around those events in our past disappears. Because we don't need the emotion. Because we've learned from them. We can now take that learning into the future. But hey, don't forget about the good stuff. You remember the good stuff. You remember and go, what can I learn from that? Don't just take it blindly. Oh, it was great. Now, what did I do to create that good stuff? What was my thoughts? What were my beliefs? What my emotions? What behaviors did I do? Because you can take that and take them into the future, too. So you've learning from both, not so good, but learning from the good stuff. Don't let the good stuff disappear because the golden nuggets strewn everywhere in your life. And, the thing is, when you do that, you just have to take time. It's about taking time to refresh both, I guess all those different memories. Quiet reflection. Now, you know me, I'm going to say, write that. Nearly swore that sucker down. Write it down. Make notes. Because if you don't, what happens is one comes in one ear and then it pisses off at the other because the other something else is coming in and something else is coming in. So write them down. Because when you write them down, you can really. Or you can come back to them for a start because they're always there. So you can improve. Not improve. Yeah, you can improve upon their thoughts. You can think we don't spend enough time thinking. I think. I think that. But you can ask yourself questions in those notes. What can I learn from this? And you don't have to relive it, because it will never be the same. Think about it. Every memory you have now is not true. It's not true. The emotion you're in right now will change that bloody memory.     You have a choice to make about your life, Paul Cloughie says   If you're happy and you think of a bit of a shitty time in the past, it's not that bad. Well, it wasn't that bad yet. If you're feeling down today, that same memory was absolutely worse than that. So bad. And, it's never the same. Never really, what happened. So we don't want to revisit them as such. Not the memory. But what can I learn from it? How can I do it different? How can I use these learnings to create, betterment in my life? Better experiences, a richer life, the good times. How can I use those emotions and skills to influence more things, to make life richer? And you see, when we do this, we're acknowledging that you have a choice, and you have a choice, and you've always had that choice. And you see, even if you said, well, I'm going to do nothing, I ain't going to do nothing about this. Cloughie, you just made a choice. What's the effect of that, that choice? The choice of doing something, learning something, putting it out there, using new skills, new experience, using those experiences to make a richer life in the future, or do nothing. Still choosing. No excuse. No excuse. You're responsible for this. Take it. And, when you're in that responsibility mode, you are empowered. I tell you that. You think about it and you see, why is this such a good thing? And I know it seems a little bit like hard work, but it isn't. You're here. You're here in personal development mode. And nothing I've said to you is complicated because I broke it. Not me. I'm just telling you in simple terms. Now, this is easy. Takes a bit of resilience, takes some bit of bottle, takes a bit of oomph. Gumption. I love that word, gumption, to do this. But it's so much worth it. You see? Why is this so good, to know this and do this? Because you shape tomorrow what you do now, what you choose now. Well, we said everything you chose in the past has led to now. So what you choose now leads to tomorrow and the next tomorrow, which becomes the now you created. That's all you have to do every time, if you're going to do something, just stop. I've talked so many times on the five minute quickie podcast, there's little episodes just to stop for a moment, take a pause, take a breath before you sign anything, and just think while you're just in this moment. And it doesn't take hours. It's just a few seconds, a few, just a minute or so, maybe. What's my intention for doing this? What is my intention? You know, what's my expectation? Same thing. What do I expect to have happened when I do this? What do I intend? what will be the consequences of my actions? What will be the consequences of my intentions, my expectations? Simple thing is what I'm going to do next, going to make my life better or worse. And if it's a big decision, as I said, write that sucker down. Write it down and look for, you know, if it's going to make my life, mostly better. But there's a few not so good bits in think and write, because writing is thinking. How can I mitigate this? How can I change this? And, when you've got that, decide, decide to take action. Now, here's the thing. And, if you look on, well, if you go to the hypnosis tracks, I have@paulcluffonline.com podcast, there is a thing or a track, and I've talked about it in five minute quickly. So I think you can think of longer, longer podcasts.     The five keys to success start with knowing your goal. So you've decided what to do   The five keys to success. One is know your goal. So you, now you've decided, you've chosen what to do, your intention. So you've decided what to do, and now you're going to take intuitive, massive, and the big thing, continuous action. So you're going to move in that direction because you've thought about it now, you've decided, you've intended, you have an expectation, you take this continuous action. And the thing is, as you do that, you become aware, become aware of what's happening now, not just blindly accepting what happens, but if something happens and it's not quite, quite right, the next step is to become flexible. You change your approach, you do something different. You make sure that you're on target or even, sometimes even better still, you notice there's even a better way. So you don't blindly keep going the same way because you've got a better goal. Now that goal has become richer because you're taking intuitive, massive continuous action and you're aware of what's happening. You're flexible. And guess what? When you think of your intention, what you want, the last, the fifth key to success, and, I think one of the most important ones, well, they're all important, they're all linked together, is act as if. Act as if you've got that result already. It's calling acting as if from a psychology and physiology of excellence, as if you've got it already. Acting as if you've got the wish fulfilled, that feeling of the wish fulfilled, the behaviours of the wish fulfilled. What would you. How would you be? And this is not faking it, because this is you. How would you be if you'd achieved this goal already? How would you act? How do you breathe? How would you think? What pitches would you make in your mind? What behaviors and skills would you either do or learn? because you might need to learn a few as you go along and you just keep cycling around and it means everything you do, you could now take full responsibility for, because you've got to anyway. So you might as well take full responsibility of creating this wonderful life that you're going to create. Say, go to Paul Clough online and I think I've put it on a hypnosis track so you can listen to the. The, previous episode all about that. But the five keys to success, get it even deeper done. Goal setting and things like that. They're all intertwined. And now have the hypnosis track just go there. It's free. Bloody free. Goodness me. All you have to do is press buttons and you get it and then take time and you can choose. That's a choice to make. A choice to improve your life by listening to stuff which is done specifically to make your life richer. I hope I haven't garbled on too quickly. I hope I've made things as clear as. Well possibly I can. I know I swore a little bit. And that's me. Take it or leave it. If it upsets you, I'm really sorry, but just take it. This is me trying to be as. Well, not trying. I'm, being as true to myself as I can be and sharing what I know with you, because I want you to have the life that you really deserve, because you're here. One life. Let's make it brilliant by taking responsibility. Grasp it. I'm gonna make this suck of mine. Easy day. You've got this. And having said all of that, you might go. Actually, Paul Cloughie. When I think about some of the stuff I've got to learn from, it's a bit hard because, you know, it's all very well saying you don't go into the memory, but I do. And, send me an email, tell me a little bit about it. Don't want all the content. Just give me the process of what's happening to you. Feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. i will certainly send you a personal reply. I will guide you, and I'll probably make an episode just for you that everyone gets a benefit on. it'll be anonymous, of course, but do that and we'll just keep enriching our lives, your life, everyone's lives. Because that's what it is. It's ecological, it's good for you, it's good for me, it's good for everyone around us, and it's good for little old planet Earth, because everyone is just getting a little bit better and life becomes good. So please do that. Just let me know and subscribe. If you haven't subscribed, please do. No, don't. Please do. Just do it. Do it. One button. Choose. Take responsibility and choose to subscribe and listen to us much as you can. I, know not everybody episode will resonate with you. Maybe there's one little golden nugget, but if you keep doing it, keep listening. I know when I listen to other podcasts, I go, that one's good, that one's good. And then the next one you go, shit, that was so good. I've learned something that is going to change me completely, and I hope to try to find those golden nuggets for you. So please do that and enjoy life, because it's time to fly. I'll see you, my friend. Bye. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development, unplugged.     Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

From "I Can't" to "I Won't": Reframing Your Mindset Empower Yourself to Achieve What You Want Ever found yourself saying, "I can't do that"? This episode dives into the power of reframing that statement to "I won't," and how this simple shift can empower you to take control and achieve your goals. Discover how to break free from limiting beliefs and self-doubt, and learn to embrace new challenges with confidence. We'll explore:   Why saying "I can't" can limit your opportunities and how others perceive you. The origins of limiting beliefs and how to question their validity. The empowering effect of choosing to say "I won't" instead of "I can't."   You'll learn:   How to take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Practical steps to reframe negative thoughts and emotions. How to build confidence by acknowledging your fears and taking small steps towards your goals.   By the end of this episode, you'll have a new perspective on how to tackle challenges and turn your "can'ts" into "wills." Ready to transform your mindset? Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/412-never-let-cant-stop-you/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism It's all about saying I can't do things and changing it   Hey, your heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about saying I can't do things and changing it, reframing in a way that you will, and then getting that buzz, becoming powered to be able to do the things you want to do. But you've had the excuse and said I can't, but now you can. Please have a listen because it makes so much difference to your life. Okay? Enjoy . Hey, welcome to the longer podcast. And it's amazing, isn't it? It's amazing where you can learn stuff. Stuff. Just stuff. Learning stuff. Because I learned something from a place where you would not expect it. I was in the gym, you see, and you know, I love going to the gym. I don't always love, well, I love leaving the gym. That's what I love most of all. Because leaving the gym means you've done your work and it feels good. But the thing is, I love to listen to podcasts. That's where I listen to most of my podcasts. I'm in the gym. I'm on the walking machine. I don't call it a running machine because I don't run on it. Walk uphill, do my bit, my vo two s or whatever it's called. I don't know. And I was listening, and it's amazing what you can find. Amazing what you can find when you, you're not expecting it. And that's what I love about it. You see, there was I listening to, well, a weird thing outside my comfort zone. It was a spiritual podcast. And, there I was, walking away, panting, as it were. And what happened was this lovely lady, a lovely lady called Eileen Foster. She said, we often say, oh, I can't do that. Now, we often say that to ourselves, don't we? Do you? I know I do. I can't do that. no, no, no, I can't do that. Yeah. And sometimes, you see, you say it out loud, you say it out loud to others, and that's even worse. Why is that worse? Well, they, you might believe that you can't, but it's belief. But if you say outside, with your outside voice, your external voice, your auditory, out there, just like me now, and you say it to somebody else, they've got nothing else to other than, believe you. And if they believe you can't do something because you say, oh, I can't do that, guess what, guess what? They'll never bloody ask you again. That's it. That opportunity is gone. Wow. You see, why? Why would you do that? But we do, don't we? And it's probably, probably something that you might even like to do. That's the thing, isn't it? Because it's out there. Oh, I'd love to do that. I'd love to. Oh, but I can't. I really want to do, No, I can't. You got all those bloody can'ts. And the thing is, ask yourself this question. Ask yourself this question. Where the bloody hell did that belief come from? Where, where did it come from now? I don't know. Think about it now. Think of something in the past where you said, no, I can't do that. And you never have. But you really want to. But m, you know, you've said, I can't do that. Whether you've said it inside, whether you've said it outside, whether you said it to yourself outside. You know, I speak to myself like that all the time. People think I'm a bit of a loon that way, but I do. I talk out loud to myself, where do they come from? Because the thing about it is, there's no bloody facts, is there? No facts. Because there might be some limiting beliefs in there. Because you think, you know, I'm not good enough. Where did that voice come from? I'm not good enough or I'm stupid, or, you know that one going back to the dark ages where people say I'm not worthy. When do people say that, really, I'm not worthy? Other than when they go to the therapist? I don't know. They do. They do. They say that I'm not worthy. And when I'm, working with clients, I actually laugh. Do people talk like that? But, yeah, it's a belief. No facts. No facts whatsoever to those beliefs. Because you haven't done it yet and you get that yet. That's what you need to be in the yet.     There are things that you say you can't do and you actually do them   I think there's also those bloody emotions that go around, isn't there? What are they? Cloughie. Well, you've got things like scared. Fear. I'm scared now. what am I scared of? Well, it could be scared of failing. It could be scared of making the right ass of yourself in front of people. I, laugh now. I laugh now. But there's things that I'm still saying I can't do and I'm scared of doing it. Making a fool of myself, maybe feeling a failure, proving to myself I'm a bloody failure over and over again, doing thing. Oh, I'm not going to do it anymore. Because my unconscious, mind says, I'm going to protect you, Cloughie. And it probably say, if your name was Cloughie, it would say the same to you, but it'll say in your own right, I'm going to protect you from that feeling of. Feeling of failure, that feeling of feeling stupid, embarrassed. So I'm going to scare you a little bit, give you that anxiety, give you that bit of stress, then you won't bloody do it. And with that limiting belief of, you know, you're not good enough anyway, stupid, hey, you never do it. And, you know, the weird thing is sometimes those things that you say you can't do are, the things, first of all, you want to do. But you've never done them before, have you? Never done them before. So you don't even know. You do not even know whether you can do it, because you haven't done that step, done that one thing. So here's the thing. Good old Eileen. And this is where it blew my mind, because I was listening to this and going, yeah, it all makes sense. Well, in fact, I've padded a lot of that out because she did. She just said this thing about saying people. People say they can't do that. And the bit about, you know, people believing, which is dead right, if you say it out loud and somebody hears it, they believe you and they don't ask you. And I thought, that's bloody awesome. That is a real effect of saying, I can't do this out loud. But then she said, and it was a massive, massive reframe. I don't know. She realized that, but she reframed it so well, because she said, instead of all that, I can't just say, well, I won't, I won't do that. And, the thing is, you see, when you say, I won't do that, in some ways it's sort of empowering because you've taken. Taken ownership of it. And the thing is, and, what would be the good thing if I missed out on doing it, if I don't do it? Because, you know, you say, I won't do it. Now, isn't that weird? When you say, you know, that thing that I, really want to do, I'd love to do it. I'd love to learn how to do it. I'd love to experience it. I'd love to be with those people. And whatever it is, maybe just in speaking up within your group, I'm a bloody introvert. Well, some of the time. And I sit back in my group, and sometimes I can't contribute. Now, as soon as I say I won't contribute, so why not? Why won't you Cloughie? Why don't you? Oh, because I've chosen not to. And if I've chosen not to, guess what? I can choose the other way, can't I? I can choose the other way.     What would happen if you did do it successfully or enjoyed it   And, what, here's one of the questions you come from. I learnt it in NLP and it's, a meta question. They call it a meta question. And what it says is, well, what would happen if you didn't? What would happen if you did do it? What would happen if you did it successfully? What would happen if you enjoyed it? Now, when you say those things, what would happen if you did do it? You have to think about it. Well, if I did do it, oh, maybe I'd feel this. What would have did it successfully? Presupposing now you're gonna do it. Well, as opposed to, I'm a failure. I can't do it. All that stuff. Oh, what if I could do it successfully that would make me so good and the opportunities that would come from that. Or I'd just be a better. I'd just feel better in myself. And what if I enjoyed it as well? Enjoyed the process. Well, if I enjoyed that type of thing, maybe I would do more of it. Maybe I. This would be the stepping stone to do other things. So if you say won't instead of can't, you're really taking responsibility, aren't you? You're taking responsibility for your decisions. There's no more excuses now because I, can't do that. It's just a bloody excuse, isn't it? Because you don't bloody know. For a start, you've again imagined all the feelings of failure, everything bloody negative around that. And what a wonderful way to look at life. I mean, I don't know if you've got children. I have. I got three beautiful children. They're my babies, but they're big, big boys now. But what would happen if I gave them that type of instruction? Oh, you can't do that. You can't do that. No, you'd encourage them, wouldn't you? You'd encourage them. And that's what we want to do inside. Get our best friend now, our unconscious mind, to encourage us to say, well, I won't do it now, but maybe I'm, going to do it, now I'm going to do it now. I am. I'm choosing because if you choose not to, by the way, if you choose not to do something, you're taking responsibility too, by saying won't. I am taking responsibility for my decisions to say, no, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Simple as that. I'm nothing. I'm not doing it at all. But the thing is, now you can choose whether you do or whether you don't. Before, when you said I can't, you were, living on the effect side of life, thinking of all the negative crap. Everything that could go wrong might go wrong, the worst it could ever be. And, think about this. Let's just go before we start to choose that we're going to do these type of things. If it's a new thing, you're gonna bloody be crap at it anyway. Of course you are. We're all gonna fall over when we start learning new skills. Unless you're one of these bloody wonder kids who just happen to pick it up straight away. And if you do, great. But once you take that one step towards doing it, well, I'm going to do this. I'm going to learn how to do it. Because if you think about everything that you're good at now, everything you're good at now, when you first started it, you were crap at it. Probably. Probably not very good. Don't like crap. But yeah, I do. That's why I speak. But I haven't sworn in this one. I'm pretty good now. Pretty good. But you weren't very good. I know the things that I am reasonably good at now. When I first started, I was hopeless, but I had that little speck inside me, that little desire to get better, to learn. Which is why we're here under personal development, self improvement, all that stuff, unplugged. Making things simple. So let's break those things down that we're trying to learn to, into simple things. And then we get better at them. Doing stuff, doing your stuff and getting better and better. And guess what? Doing the stuff that you're going to be good at in the future. Learning. Because that's what we're all here for. To learn and enjoy creating new stuff. Become that creative. Let that creative part of you excel to thrive, to be so good and make a life. Make a life for yourself. M that's what it's all about, isn't it?     Paul Clough: Breaking down limiting beliefs is easy. It takes effort, by the way   Now we're going to dive into this deeper. We will. We will dive into this deeper. Because I wanted to set that reframe of can't to won't. And then get you to take responsibility. But we'll dive into those negative beliefs, those limiting beliefs, how we can change them, we'll dive into those emotions, how we can let them go. And, notice how they're protecting us, but they're not working anymore, how it's setting up those conflicts. We're going to do that in longer podcasts, because that's what personal development, unplugged is all about. Breaking down those, those negative things in our life, the things that are stopping us, holding us back. But to do it in a simple, easy way, it is easy. It takes effort, by the way, just because they're easy takes effort. And then you can be able to apply them day by day and get better and better, and then it just boils down to, well, if I've never done it before, I'm going to start now. And doesn't that apply to everything you've ever done? You never did it before and, now you are. And I'm going to support you in that. All the way, by the way. All the way. So do have a think. Maybe there's some limiting beliefs that you'd like to get rid of? Send me an email. Personal development unplugged. No, it isn't at all. Cloughie it is. Feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. send me that email. Tell me the type of limiting beliefs you like to get rid of. We'll work on that. Maybe there's some emotions that I haven't mentioned or something new. We can work on that. We'll get a longer podcast, we'll have a process, maybe even a hypnosis track to go with it. Go and test me. Push me. Let me stretch myself to help you. To help me. That would be great if you did. And also if you haven't subscribed, please press that subscribe button, please. That'd be good, because we're gonna, you get though these podcasts all the time now, twice a week. And I know it would help. Not every podcast will, will resonate. There'll be golden nuggets in everyone. But with that one, that really does resonate. Really does. You're gonna, you're gonna smack yourself for not listening, but you won't, because you wouldn't listen, but you will, you'll get it. And then you let me know too. So please do that. Share this. Like hell if you could. I mean, I say like how, but if you can share it to one person and get them to subscribe, that would be awesome. Yeah, so there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your time. I so much. I really did appreciate it. I do appreciate it. There's more to come. Have fun, my friend, because it's time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Unlocking the Power of Aha Moments Stories, Metaphors, and Hypnosis In this longer episode, we delve into the transformative power of stories and the hidden metaphors they hold. Join me as I share a poignant story from a recent webinar for my son's Mind Mastery group, which helps people overcome anxiety and find their life purpose. This story resonated deeply with me, revealing a hidden metaphor that can be harnessed through hypnosis. We'll explore:   The concept of finding your "North Star" and aligning with your life purpose. A touching story about self-discovery and living authentically. How to identify and utilize your own aha moments for future growth.   You'll learn:   How to reflect on past aha moments to unlock hidden strengths. Ways to use these moments to overcome self-doubt and excuses. A unique hypnosis process to integrate these insights into your daily life.   By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to revisit your own life stories and aha moments, using them as powerful tools for personal development. Ready to dive in? Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/410-learning-from-our-life-stories/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,     And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough shares a story that has a hidden metaphor for hypnosis   Here's your heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about stories or a particular story that is that. It just got me. It just got me. It had a hidden m, a, hidden metaphor for me that I just wanted to use. So I want to share it with you and follow it with a hypnosis process just for you. So have a listen, and then we'll dive all the way in to the unconscious mind Hey, welcome to the longer podcast. And I'm going to guess, if you're like me, you like stories. Stories bring us in, don't they? They teach us things. And when you find a story that has a, hidden metaphor within it, something you can learn from and use, it's awesome. So that's what I'm going to share with you today. And it's via a webinar I did for my son's mind mastery group, which is a group that, that he set up to help people get rid of anxiety, confidence, and get rid of their core issue and live a meaningful life. And twice a month, I give a q and a, live q and a. And in this particular one, I share a story, a story that evokes something in me and also got me to think of how I could use that metaphor in hypnosis, to use what we've learned. Use aha moments of the past so we can use the learnings from those in the future. Because I don't like aha moments to just be a one off, a five second ah And then they're gone. I thought to myself, let's use them. Use them in the future so we can have the benefit of everything. So if that's of interest to you, I hope it is. Have a listen, and then we'll follow on with, a hypnosis track of a process that I don't know has ever been done before, but it's really interesting. And that will be on a separate track, that'll be in a separate episode, which will come out probably tomorrow. Okay? So have a listen and just enjoy the stories.     I've been thinking about finding my north star, finding your passion   So here we go. So the pause. Now the pause. And I'll tell you for why I'm pausing, because I'm not sure about this next bit. I'll tell you that now. I'm not sure because I, I did say it was serendipitous, because I've been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of writing as I, you know, I think about loads of bloody stuffs. Load of it. Loads of it may be called twaddle and it just goes in and out and, and gets me a little bit confused and then I get a little bit of clarity. But thinking about one of the things I've been reading lately is about, it's called, it's calling, find your calling for finding your, your passion. And someone's the person I'm reading now is calling it their north star, finding your north star. And I guess that's, you know, the direction you're heading in, where you're going, being pulled, using your life purpose and okay, and different missions will go in their different ways, but all heading towards that north Star. And I quite like that analogy. so I've been thinking about my north star. I'm always confused about where I'm going and am I doing the right thing. And then this morning I was in, I was in the gym and instead of listening to a normal podcast and doing all that stuff, I listened to a different one, had it on there for a little while. And it's mainly based in America where they have these story competitions and people get up and tell a story and they get the story of the month and the week and the whatever. And it's called the Moth, I believe it's called the Moth. Lovely web, Lovely podcast. And I thought, well, I'll listen to a few stories instead of going too deep. I don't want to go deep today. I'm just going to go on my old treadmill and do my stuff and I just want to listen to some stories. And the first story came up and it was, it was okay, it was just a story. But the, and again, where I got this from was a guy, I think I've, I have spoken about him before and I can't remember his name. He was a guy who did the homework for life with a little book, just making a note of all the good things that happened to, and he, and in his book he said there are stories that people tell which are basically just, well, they're just tales. They're nice, nice things to reminisce about, but there's maybe nothing too deep into them. They're just something you would tell and oh look, this is what happened to me on the way to work. I saw this and did that or whatever, but he said, a real story, a real story is something that has a five second aha, moment, a five second change in your life and it doesn't always come in the middle. It might come at the end of that story where just suddenly something happens and it's not normally the thing you think about. I'll give you a little example, Joe. And I'm. Excuse me for some. I'm not going to tell the whole story because this is Joe's story but some of you might have heard it. He was, he was having a bit of a time when he was young because he was going through changing careers, as it were. He was only 17 changing careers looking 18, 1718 going towards hypnosis and things like that. And to go to hypnosis, this is a weird thing I had. I got him to go to a hypnosis, class, or it was a week's workshop purely to find out where he would like to work, find his vocation. Certainly didn't think it was going to be in hypnosis because that's what it happened. Suddenly hypnosis became the thing. But that sparked his, deeper thoughts, I think. And it was on his birthday and I'll tell just very briefly he was on his birthday and he's coming home quite late because he's obviously just been celebrating with his friends and he's back in Cambridge. And I love this story because I can be there with him because he said I was standing out my, outside our front door and I can remember how the front door went and the lobby and things like that. And he said it was so, so dark and then it got really quiet and then I could hear a few birds but not many. And then it got quieter and he said, because I've been searching for this thing inside me or I've been searching for this thing, I've been looking at things like a bit of YouTube, I guess was around. I've been looking online, been reading books. There was a lot of recordings at those days, you know, how to improve your life, find your passion, find your missions. He said, I couldn't find anything. I couldn't find anything at all. But then in the quiet just before, I came inside I was just by myself and I stopped and he went really quiet. He said, then I suddenly realized there is nothing outside that's going to teach me to lead me because suddenly I went inside and found that everything I have is inside me now. And he goes into much deeper than that and it's a lovely story and it's a true story but that was that little aha, moment that suddenly he'd been searching and searching for and it could have had aha, moments all over the place. And there probably were, but not the real personal one.     A man tells two stories about being gay and proms in his family   So I'm listening to this story, and the first story, as I said, was pretty good. And then the second story came up. And, this guy's talking, and he's telling the story of how he'd been going out with this girl. And he was going. They arranged to go to their prom. And he said proms were really important in my family. I said, on a particular wall we have. We have photographs of all the proms that have been around. I got my mum and dad's prom. There was my sister's prom. There was my uncle and aunties. And every relation you can think of. We had pictures of the prom. and now it was mine. He said, I was going out with this girl. But he said something wasn't quite right. I didn't know what it was. And I started to do things, to organize things. He said, in as much as I was designing my suit to go. And I also designed the girlfriend's dress that she was going to wear. And, it was really quite strange because I had to go and draw them, and I can't draw. And I had to go and design them, and I can't design. And I was doing all of this, and it all felt quite strange. He said, now, as I started to do this, this girl suddenly decided this isn't right either. So she said she dumped me just like that. But he said I had, about 50 yards of silk. So I could make anything I liked, which is quite weird. But he said, there's still this funny feeling inside of me. He said, obviously my parents weren't quite so happy. Because they were looking for this blooming picture on the wall. And now this prom had disappeared. Couldn't go. He said, I did go, but it wasn't what they were looking for. So whatever photograph they took, it was not going up on that wall. And he said, I kept pushing those feelings away from me, pushing them down, but they were weird feelings. And he said, then I went through a few years, and I met other people. And he said, I think to them it was totally obvious of what was happening to me. What was changing. But what I wasn't recognizing, maybe I wasn't prepared to recognize, he said, because they all knew I was gay, and I didn't. And this isn't, that isn't the aha moment you all think that's the ha ha moment, he said, and I've been pushing that canis down. If you could do that. But he said, I just. I was trying to. It wasn't what I wanted to do, and I wasn't sure and I wasn't doing this, and I was going through my life and I was meeting friends and that, and they all knew. The weird thing was he never mentioned his parents about that, but he said, I did, actually, a few, couple of years later, the old girlfriend who dumped me, she got in contact and we met up and she said, there's a dance over there. It's a bit like a prom. Shall we go? And he said, yeah, we'll go. But she kept smiling at me in a funny way, as if to say, you know, you do know, don't you? And he said, but I hadn't really said anything, hadn't done anything. And then he said, we went. We had some weird photographs because I was dressed the way I dress, and it wasn't as most people, lads would, dress. And she was a bit weird as well. So she was out there and we had some photographs and it was like a prom photograph. And he said, that never went on a wall either. Mum and dad didn't want that at all. He said, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm married now. And, everyone started clapping in this room and said, yeah, I've got a husband because we love each other. You know, we're both gay and we love it. I've come, I'm there. I'm living my life now. Still not the aha. Moment yet. And he said, we. We're married. I'm living my life the way I want to live it. So we've actually got two children. Still not the aha. Moment. And he said, none of these pictures are on the wall in my mum and dad's house. And everything went quiet. There's a little bit of sadness still. No aha moment. He said, but here's the thing. In my home with my family, of a wall, and on my wall I put every bloody picture that means so much to me. Children, my husband. Everything I do is on my wall because it's my wall and my life. And that was just a little thing that he knew with his wall. Now he's now living a true life, something that he hadn't been doing. And I felt I was really touching and it was nice. And, I was thinking, well, why has that come into. Why is this story touching me in a way that normally it's a nice story. There's a learning there and what have you. But I thought to myself, how can we learn from that type of story. Because, you see, I'm just looking at my notes a little bit. We have our own life story, don't we? And I wondered, thinking back to that very first bit we were talking about, where are the wonderful aha, moments in our lives from the past? Maybe we could reflect on them, to find them again. Because I was thinking to myself, I think I mentioned this on the last one, trying to find memories from my past, my childhood, because you can think of one or two, but the more you think about them, the more another memory might just slip in. And you go, ah, do it. And it's like they build from each other.     Think of the times in your life that have changed you   Well, if we look for aha moments now, think of the times in our life that have changed us. And I had a little think about this, and it's only today. And thinking, yeah, I can remember that time, and we can all go into our darkest time sometimes. But there was a five second aha, moment there, positive. In the darkness, there's a five second aha, moment that suddenly changes your life completely. And mine was something like, well, you're strong enough to do anything you want. Because five minutes before, I didn't feel strong, but suddenly I thought, hey, that's right. There was that aha, moment. Can't quite place it, but I know it happened. And I was thinking of other times in my life where I maybe was doing something. I can remember doing things in with a client and getting an aha moment. I've told you this. I'm sure I've spoken about this before. When I was stumped. I was completely stumped with a client. Didn't know what to do. Was going to say, do you know what? Hands up. Let's call it a day. But then something inside just said, shut up. Get out of the way. We've got it. And something came out. The question came out of my mouth. And even I was, like, looking at myself going, what a damn good. I actually said, I said swear words, but I said, what a damn good question. That was Cloughie. And that was an aha moment just to get out of your way, to trust yourself. And what I'm thinking about here is in those aha moments to remember them so we can use them again in the future. So it's a little bit like the going to sleep, the things we enjoyed, what can we learn from? But on those aha, are we still learning from them in times when we. For me, when times when I maybe don't feel as strong as I want to going back to that aha, that back then was a lot more dark, than it is now. And I was strong enough then. I'm more than capable now. excuse me, getting out of your way. There's so many times I've used that aha moment, but that's with clients. But I'd like to do that with other people, maybe as I'm talking, just to really concentrate and let's let things happen. Connection.     Joseph: Sometimes we give ourselves excuses about things we would like to do   So I was thinking about what aha, moments have you, maybe you went through and just thought to yourself, what was one aha, moment in your life that really was maybe that small in its timing, 2 seconds, 5 seconds, but was so empowering, so life shattering, changing that you experienced? And then think of, Maybe I can explore it. Not explore the bit behind it, but explore the bit that comes after. How can I use this? How can I use it more? Why? Because I'm very conscious now about wasting them, wasting the good things that have gone on in our lives. And these aha moments, are something that we've suddenly become, I know, congruent, aligned. And it's maybe not just with us, but might be, I say with us, me and my unconscious mind, but it could be with the multiverse universe or whatever our belief is up there, where suddenly we're in the moment with everything. It's a bit deep, isn't it? A bit deep, but I think it's there from and all from this one bloody story this morning, even though I've been thinking about these things before. And it's like, as I say, serendipitous things just coming together to allow us to explore and how we can have more of these, why waste them? To me, if we can have an aha moment, how can we use the learnings from that? Or how can we remind ourselves to keep using them? In times of, negativity, maybe things aren't going quite right for us. And how could we latch onto something which is so much more powerful? And then I thought to myself, I did a lot of thinking today, by the way, that's the aha moments. That's the wonderful times. Now, that person telling the story was not acknowledging the feelings he had. As I said, he was like pushing them down, pushing them away, trying to ignore them, and in effect, not living his true life. And certainly the difference between then and how he finished the story, there was a massive difference in the quality and the richness of his life. So I thought about maybe there's things in our past that we've put off, and we've talked about it before in where people have said, oh, you can't do that, you're not good enough, competition's too high. Who are you to think you are? And ah, we give up. And I say give up by saying, I'm going to put that to one side. We sort of park it, but in our heart we sort of know we'd like to unpark it. But we've got this belief, maybe that's given to us, that on that particular context, I'm not going to be there, not going to be good enough, not going to be able to achieve. Other people will put me down. The old imposter syndrome, which doesn't exist other than up in your head, comes to light. And then I thought again, that's one thing, but what about the excuses of things that we would like to do and we don't acknowledge? Maybe they're similar, but maybe they're things that we give our own excuses. So instead of somebody else saying, you can't do that, you're not good enough, maybe there's things in our life that are inside here that we'd really like to do, but we give ourselves an excuses when we'll say to ourselves, we're not good enough, or who do we think we are? I've got a family. I've got this, I've got that. Who am I to spend time on that particular thing? Who am I to think I'm sometimes better than the rest of my family doing this type of thing because they don't do it. Maybe they think, or maybe we think to ourselves and give this wonderful excuse. Well, I'm too old. I know. Joseph nearly gave this excuse when he first started. I'm too young. How am I going to work with, you know, I'm 18. How am I going to work with. Most of the clients that we had were 40 plus, they're double my age. They have double my experience, and I'm the one to help them. And he could have given himself the excuse. Well, I'll wait 20 years. Well, at least that aha. moment said no. this is your calling. This is your passion. Just go do it. It wasn't one again. Wasn't what's on the outside. It was what was on the inside that people connected to. But maybe we say we're too, say too old, too young. Maybe we say we're not fit enough, we're too fat, we're too, too malnourished. We have my knees ache. I, can't do this. I wonder what we have that if we dare to dream it now, we might not be able to do them all. But if we filtered them into what would give us the most pleasure. If we were brave enough, brave enough to look at our hopes and dreams that we've pushed to one side, I wonder what would happen. I wonder how rich our life would be. Everyone's got a decreasing Runway, but it doesn't matter how long the Runway is. It's how rich that Runway can be in experiences, in sharing and giving and helping other people on their runways. But we have to be brave to do the things that we love and more. And I thought, well, how is this all coming together? Wouldn't it be nice to, Once you expect something of yourself, you expect a result. You've got the confidence to do it, but it's up to you. And, no other bugger can put you off it unless one person lets them. And that's you. So it is you who determines what you're going to do. But can you be that brave now? I think we can be that brave. It just takes a little bit of time.     Paul Clough uses hypnosis to help people discover their aha moments   So here's the thing. I wonder, just for a few minutes. We've got 15 odds or so minutes left. If we went through a process, just a gentle one, just to get our, unconscious mind, like, as we go to sleep. But this time we're in a waking life. Just to get, your conscious mind to think of things as well. To think of things like our aha moments and get our unconscious mind to hook onto those and say, yes, more of this. Let's build upon this. But also the things that we've made excuses for. We've let ourselves off the hook. And for no, I don't know for what reason, but things we'd love to do that we haven't given ourselves permission to do. And let's just let our unconscious mind go through and find how richer, our life would be if we chose just one of those, let alone others. Because when we choose one, others will come along, or the one we choose will generalize into different areas of our life and spontaneously create more ideas, more creativity. So if it's okay with you to explore these type of things, and we're not going to go into the darkness, like I did for a little while, just to find out, I just want to know those aha moments. What. What was that aha, moment? What did I learn from it? So we're not going into. We're going into the past to look for the goodness, nothing else. Just so everyone's clear about that. So if it's okay for you to close your eyes just for the next few minutes, and that's where we're going to just call a short halt for this. So let your thoughts and musings go into your unconscious mind of wondering, how are we going to use this? How is Paul, how's my mate Cloughie going to put this into a hypnosis process and you won't have to wait too long. It'll be there with you on a separate track. And then put onto my hypnosis website page, which is paulCloughonline.com podcast. So they're all downloadable without the pre chat and the post chat. Okay. Because obviously the next episode will have a little reminder where we are and what to do next.     Well, thank you first of all for your company   Okay. So I hope you've enjoyed the stories where we're going and, hopefully are, a little intrigued, maybe curious, curious to see where we go next. So I hope. Well, thank you first of all for your company right now. And also I hope for your company on the accompanying, lots of accompanying, hypnosis track that will come out real soon. Okay. Have fun and fly. 000-0000 just before you fly, just before you fly. If, if you would like to find out a little bit more about my younger son's work, Joseph Clough, have a look at josephlough.com. you'll find all the things he does, all he does. Masses of hypnosis as well. Got a brilliant app for hypnosis and you can get everything you want, thousands of hypnosis tracks. And if you want to find about that, mind mastery, to let go of things, well, core issues, things of, you know, really deep stuff, do get on that josephClough.com and, send him an email. Anyway, that's my little thing for him. And now you can fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

The Magical Question: Unlocking Your Success How One Question Can Transform Your Outcomes Ever wondered how a simple question could change the way you approach your goals and interactions? This episode introduces you to a powerful question that Paul uses to set himself up for success in various aspects of his life. Get ready to dive into a world of imagination and visualization that will help you unlock your full potential. We'll explore: The concept of the magical question and how it prepares you for success. Why it's crucial to know your stuff and trust your skills. How to flip your fears and focus on how good things could be. You'll learn: How to use the magical question before meetings, coaching calls, and other important events. Why enjoying the process is key to achieving better results. Practical steps to integrate this question into your daily routine for enhanced performance and confidence. By the end of this episode, you'll have a new tool to help you approach challenges with a positive mindset and achieve outcomes beyond your expectations. Ready to discover the magic? Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/409-my-magical-question-for-success   Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   Hey, your heads up to this longer, longer podcast. It's all, it's not a miracle question, it's not a magical question, but it is to me, it's a magical question that just produces magic and allows me to do all the things I want to do and be successful in it and enjoy those times. But you gotta come with me because there's some imagination to do, some visualization to do, which is great fun, imagining me doing something weird and then learning from it. Have a listen.     I ask myself a magical question before I see a client   Okay, okay. We're in the longer podcast, and I'm feeling good, I'm feeling really good today. So I wanted to share something with you, which is something quite special, but in order to share it with you, what I'm going to do is I want you to do some m imagination first. I, want you to imagine seeing me. You can see me now, but you can, well, if you're on the video, you can see me now, but I want you to imagine me over there, because I'm just about to see a client. And if you were to see me just before I saw a client, maybe ten minutes before, you would notice me standing there and I'd be like whispering to myself, you'd see my mouth. Mouth would be moving, but it would be like a magical incantation. But it's not, it's not an incantation. It is a magical question. And it's my own personal magical question, because I ask myself this one thing before I see a client, and I'll explain other areas too, where I use it. But the thing is, I ask that question, let it go. And then I see my client, and then you could see me again, if you could imagine this. Imagine seeing me after my client, walking around, patting myself on the back, because I've had such a good time, because it just works now, you might say, al Cloughie, you're weird. Magical incantations, which they aren't. Patting yourself on the back, being happy with yourself. But the thing is, I do this with every client, I do it before every podcast, I do it before every coaching call, I do every webinar, I do every training I do, and I've done it for bloody years. It's really strange to, and if you think about it, this is what I do. I just like to ask myself a question, a special question of what would it be like? What would it be like to do something special and then celebrate with yourself when it happens, because it just does. Just happens, by the way. And I don't know when I created this, if I did create it, I know I use it so many times because I just know it works. Because, you see, what generally happens is, you know, if we've got something to do, we're going to see somebody. We've got maybe a Zoom call, maybe a coaching call, maybe a meeting. Maybe you're just going to meet somebody that you're a little bit nervous about. And what happens is we scare the shit out of ourselves, don't we? Sometimes we make up all those wonderful pictures of all the things that could go wrong, the worst of the worst. And that's all b's, isn't it? It is B's because it's all up here. But we do it for a wonderful reason. Our, unconscious mind says, let's be safe. Let's go through all of the things that may go wrong and more, even the things that could even go wronger. Wronger. And then what happens to that? Well, it's overwhelm, it's fear, it's panic. Sometimes people even put themselves into a panic attack. And we're really good at it. We're really good at seeing, hearing and feeling the worst that could happen. And this is where this question absolutely annihilates that. You see the question. and I'll go through the question with you in a minute, because it's so simple and in simplicity, there is genius. We turn it on its head now you can just have a little think about maybe what is the worst that could happen, but no worse than it could be reality. What is the real worse? You know, I've seen a client, it might not go right. We might not get on. I might not get the result. But I know better than that. I do know better than that, because one thing about this little thing is I, know what I can do. And that's a, that's a great starting point. You've got to know your stuff. You see? You got to know your stuff. If you're going to ask a question, this particular question, you've got to know your stuff, and I know you do. So if you're going to a meeting, you know your stuff. You're going to be talking about you make sure. Just know your stuff again, not scaring yourself to bits, just getting comfortable with what you, what you're going to share, you know, if you're going to meet somebody, just be comfortable in yourself. But, the thing is, it's not how you don't want it to be. And that's, again, even looking at this, at the sort of worst it could happen, that. But how good could it be? Let's flip it really on its head. How good could it be? Because that's what you really want, isn't it? So, if you knew you were going to do something, could you just think of the skills you might need, the things, your intention, what you want to achieve, how you want to be, maybe even how long. in my question, I ask even how long and I'll go through it in a minute. But it's everything that you want to have happen in that particular event, the way you want it to be and the successful outcome. So that's why I say you need to know your stuff, because if you don't know your stuff, you probably won't get the outcome you want anyway because you can't fudge it. You can't fake it till you make fake it till you make it really gets on my. Well, it does, because the whole thing, we've talked about it so many times, fake it till you make it is faking it. And you can't fake it because there's one person you can't fake. Guess who? You. Of course it's you. So you have to know what you're going to do and do what you're going to know, and that's mastery, think mastery. So you're not going to go beyond your level of skills, but remember, whatever you think you are, you're more than that, because we're going to access all your skills with this question.     Ask yourself what would it be like to work with a client   Am I? Is it enticing you to know what it is yet? Are you curious? You see, you're going to have a specific context. You've got to know how you want to do, how you want to be, behave, connect in that context. So here's the type of question I would ask myself with a client. I'd ask, what would it be like? I always start with, what would it be like? What it'd be like to work with. And I named the client's name to use all my skills, all my hypnosis or my NLP, all and everything I've ever learned, timeline, theory, everything that could be needed will be at, ah, my fingertips and at my lips. My words, to connect, to get rapport and to get the greatest result way better than they could imagine to learn from it. So maybe something new and have that learning available to me whenever I need it. And to do all this within 1 hour 1 minute, and I change the time. I go 1 hour, five minutes, 57 minutes. And the amazing thing is, you see, you let it go. By the way, you might even say the immortal words, this or something better. What happens is you let it go. You see, I see my client, and the amazing thing is I just trust. I, know I've got some skills. I've, now asked my unconscious mind. That's where the question's going. Ask my unconscious mind to do and allow me to access all that I need and even more things I don't even know I know, but I just know I've got them. And what happens is those sessions go absolutely bloody brilliant. I astound myself sometimes. I will listen to the words I'm using and say to myself with an internal voice. Cluffy. That was brilliant. Where did that come from? Or a process will come to mind, one I hadn't thought of, and you go, this is it. Where did that come from? We do it, and the client is one. It gets a wonderful result. And then I, look at the clock, and it's always within minutes of the time I set. How does that happen? I don't know how it happens, by the way. All I know is it bloody happens 99.99% of the time. Sometimes there's that 1%. Or maybe I didn't quite ask the right question. I think I put it down to me, see if I'm doing a live q and a for my son's mind mastery call or mind mastery class, and I'm going to be talking just about a subject. Just before we press play or open the zoom lines, I'll just say to myself, what would it be like to just. To be charismatic, to be able to communicate, to be able to lead and change people's minds with something wonderful, to use all my skills, have them all available to me to learn more, have them available to me whenever I need them in the future, and to do it all within. And, we always do an hour, so I'll do an hour. And guess what? I have a few notes. Don't have a lot, but things come to mind as I'm talking. Things and little stories and little snippets come to mind to make it even, even richer. And I'm saying to myself as I'm talking these little things going, where are all these things coming from? But I do connect. I, do connect. And, I always, and I just remembered one thing I like to put at the end and where I started to, but I remember it now. Anyway, is the words. And enjoy the process. Because the one thing about this is if you're going to do something that you really want to do, you have to enjoy the process. You have to enjoy what you're going to do because it's bloody rubbish. Doing stuff to your best ability and not enjoying it. So always say this or something better and enjoy the process. This just works. Believe me, it just works. So maybe you might need to make some notes. Maybe you need to rewind it. Maybe I'll put some in the show notes. I don't know. We'll have to see. Maybe you'll remind me by email me. I'll say that more clearly, emailing me at feedbackersaldevelopmentunplug, um.com. and I'll send you a little note. And it's always, what will it be like?     The magical question, a miracle question. What would it be like to communicate effectively   The magical question, a miracle question. It's magical to me because of the results I get. I, know it's not magic, but I feel magical. I, pat myself on the back and these things just bloody work. And how simple is that? Easy steps. How do I want to feel? What skills do I. And I don't even mention the type of skills or the specific skills. I just want to be able to access everything I know with my hypnosis, my NLP, my timeline therapy, my communication skills, the words I use, the rapport. And it just, well, it blows my mind how simple and how powerful this is. And the thing is, sometimes when things with a client end up going quite the way I wanted, somehow just trusting in that I find a way. And sometimes it's even better. Cause I've learned something, but sometimes it stretches me and I have an even better time. Cause I do. Then enjoy the process. So you may think I'm absolutely mad to have this little question. And I have to say, when I first did this, I had it on like a six by three cardinal, all typed out with little dots in for the gaps that I wanted to fill in. And I would literally read it. And I'm reading, I feel some emotion, but I'd read it. And, now I, well, it's some 20 years now, and if something doesn't work, I'd have given it up by then, but it does work. So the. What will it mean? Magical question. No, not what will it mean at all. What would it be like? That's what you're asking your unconscious mind, what would you like to do? Be, have and enjoy the process. If you're going to a meeting, what would it be like? To be able to communicate all that, I need to communicate in such a charismatic way to get my words into such a good order, to be able to communicate so well and do it all succinctly within x amount of minutes and so people really get the gist of it. What would that be like? And for me to enjoy the process. There you go. I didn't have to read that. I just made that up as it goes on. And so can you. So do make some notes, do just jot them down. And even if you think it's silly, try it. Well, don't try it, do it. It's trying, you know, trying is failing or whatever, but do it. Do it for a few times. And you'll notice when you review what's just happened. Bloody hell. Cloughy. It, bloody works. There you go. And if you wanted to, you could share this with everyone because if everybody gets to, to enjoy their times of, you know, because this is sometimes in a stressful situation, for be able to go through stressful situations and really just enjoy those times because that's when you've got in a nice emotional state, you learn more and you share more because people, you'll be that example of how do they do that? And you'll shine. And, that's what I want for you. I want you to, to shoot a lot of tutors in there. I want you to shine. Shine in front of everybody and shine in front of yourself to give yourself, well, to realize the confidence that you have not given. Your confidence, not making you more confidence, but you're accessing the confidence that you have naturally in your abilities, competency. And this is how you're going to really crush it. Knock it out the park. And you start to then enjoy everything. You look forward to things like that. You look forward to the unknown because you're gonna, you set yourself up to succeed through the unknown because you didn't say how you want to be. So please do share that. Share the podcast, do everything you can if you could. It'll be great. And press the subscribe button. That's lovely if you could. And let's just make this a little bigger for everybody, if you would. Thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it so, so much. Speak to me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com for all your needs. See if I can help. But until you do, email me. I'll, speak to you all and see you on the next one. It's time to fly, my friend. Have fun.   Warning you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged. Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

In Search Of An Easy Life Simplifying Complexity Ever feel overwhelmed by complicated processes and information overload? This episode is your guide to breaking down complexity into simple, manageable steps. Join me as I share a transformative story about mind mapping and how it can make learning and remembering easier. We'll explore: The concept of mind mapping and how it simplifies learning. How to break down complicated information into simple, memorable steps. Why some people overcomplicate things and how to see through the complexity. You'll learn: How to use mind mapping for meetings, learning, and problem-solving. Ways to avoid being fooled by complexity and appreciate the genius in simplicity. Practical steps to integrate mind mapping into your daily life for better clarity and efficiency. By the end of this episode, you'll have the tools to clear out confusion, simplify your learning process, and achieve mastery in various aspects of your life. Ready to make life easier? Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/408-in-search-of-an-easy-life/   Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, my friends. The longer podcast and the title in search for an easy life. Don't be fooled. It's a bit abstract, isn't it? You see, there's a. I can remember way, way, way back, years ago. It is years ago. I remember going to this little workshop, little workshop here. It was in an evening. So that's how it is. Like an hour's workshop at, this little thing. I don't know, can't even remember what the organization was, but this guy stood up in front of us, and there's only, say, 20 of us there. He stood up and told this story. But it wasn't a story story. It was a story of. I can see the pictures in my mind, but I can't remember what the story was about, but it was how something was produced, how it started, how it got to be made, then how it was transported, moved around and done that. And, after about ten minutes, he said, there you go, what did I tell you? And we go, well, you told us a story about making something. I remember something about carrots, that was weird because they were all very abstract, but I just didn't get it. And he said, do you want to know how to remember things easier to be able to go through what I've told you in that story of mine, and to remember it without having to make masses of notes. So I said, well, I was there in my head, I'm with you, Mandez. So he went through this thing called mind mapping. And our mind mapping is not new. Well, it can't be new, because it was years and years and years ago. And he showed us a way to break things down, or what appeared to be complicated things into simple little pictures and lines from a middle, from a middle circle of what the title was, and then broke each one down into little steps. And, even the steps had only a couple of words on, maybe keywords and, ah, a little picture. So he said, I'm telling you the story again. Let's just make m those those pictures together. And, we did it. He said, go for a cup of coffee. And we had a coffee, a little break. He said, right blank. The board's been blank. Now let's go through the story again. And every one of us could go through that story just by remembering the pictures. We hadn't even written an awful lot down, but we could remember the pictures in our head. We could remember the mind map in our head. And that blew me away, because if I could remember something that's so abstract like that, just remembering it without actually writing it down, and when I found, when I wrote these things down in a, lovely. I love mind maps, but in a way that, just a word, a little symbol, a picture of something that just really represented that story, I found I could do anything with it. I could take notes at meetings, as when I was in business, I'd go to meetings and people would be furiously writing notes. And I just have this page of little pictures and lines and they go, can you remember this book? yeah, because you said this and that and this and that. And we go to there, then we're going to do this. It's amazing. Amazing. You see, remembering steps to follow can be complicated, can't it? If you don't know mind mapping and things like that. But, and it's not, this is not just about mind mapping, by the way. That's just, an example being how you can break down the complicated into simple steps. And when you, because you see, if you have too many steps, complicated steps, things disappear out your brain. Anything over five, between five and nine little steps, if you get directions to go somewhere after the fifth one, the first, second and third have disappeared out your brain. You get it a little bit longer than that. And the whole, you're even thinking to yourself, oh, what a lovely holiday I had, because you just wandered away, you cannot remember a thing. And that is such a, a natural phenomenon to just let these things go because they just get totally confusing in your brain. We use it as a hypnotic process to overwhelm the conscious mind to allow us to go into the unconscious mind. People love to make things complicated, but breaking things down into manageable steps works And you see some people, I don't know, I'm not going to say any names, but you see them all over the place in all the social medias, love to make things complicated. And, I wonder why, I really wonder why when things are so much easier, when you break things down into manageable, understandable steps. Now, I think I, know why. Because it makes them look bloody good in their mind, by the way, in their mind. When people have got this really complicated thing off pack because they've taken years to learn the bloody thing and make it more complicated, it just makes them look better than you. It's their showreel. Behind the showreel, they've got nothing, doesn't work. And so I now look for the simple steps amongst that, that B's, because you can still find it even when people try to overcomplicate things. If you really look for those simple steps, and mind mapping is a great way to do it, you can find out anything. It's how I learned the processes of hypnosis and NLP to using therapy to break what appeared to me initially, complicated processes into manageable steps that I could understand. And once I understood them, I could understand why the next step came along. There's so many things I've modeled, from listening to people speak and be able to teach it, to share it. I remember a great thing where people were advertising the 101 in business and they were going on and on. It was so complicated. They were going to, they were selling a course, basically. But what they didn't realize was if you listened and you could throw away the fluff, as it were, and get those simple steps. I modeled their whole course from what they were saying, and I've shared that with people in businesses, and it just makes sense and it works. And in things like processes of hypnosis, NLP therapy, especially therapy, people make things so bloody complicated there, too. They really do. And, in fact, there's such a simple thing. It's called present state, desired state. This is a state you don't like because it's present. The desired state is how you want to be. And all we've got to do is change the. And there's a model called the tote model to help you with that. Tote. What's that? Test, operate, test, exit. So the test is tell me what your present state is, how you do it. The t at the end is your desired state. Have we got there? This is what I want. The o is operate, do something that's going to transfer or transform present state to desired state. Once you've got that desired state, exit, get out of it. Get out of your way. Do it. And you can break so many things down into a simple little tote. Test, operate, test, exit. Because if you do too many things, you don't know which one worked, which ones didn't work. But most people don't start with their desired state or, their present state or their desired state. They've just got this big goal. They're not looking at what they've got already. They just complicate things too, too much. And, that's where I think I know. I quote Albert Einstein for in simplicity, there is genius. And I don't know how that hooked up with me, because when, I started the, personal development unplugged podcast, it was all about getting so frustrated with people over complicated things. I wanted to break things down into simple ways that we can make fantastic changes, knowing what we're doing, doing what we know, but be able to do it without that confusion. Don't let complicated things impress you, says Mark Devine So let's have a think. I know I've talked about mind mapping, and if you get into mind mapping, I will do it. I can remember one little story, one little side story. I was in my trainer's training, and this guy beside me, we stayed in the same dormitory, as it were, and we sat pretty close together. But he was a mind mapping genius. His mind maps were a work of art. in fact, I went and paid for a photocopy of his mind maps because they were that good. And as I saw each one, I could follow each day, he did one for every day's training, and they were brilliant. And he enjoyed doing it. I enjoyed watching him. It was a work of art, breaking down a whole day into one, a four sheet of paper that we could all follow. That's how breaking the complicated into simple really just works. So, what's the learning here? Well, don't let complicated impress you. That's one of these things for me. Don't let people who complicate things. Well, this is so complicated, and they're so good, and they're so charismatic about it. Look for the bullshit. Are they just out there to impress you? Is it a mask to impress? And that mask just fails because you can't do it. They just try to suck you in. But there's a reverse of that. And the reverse is, don't let simplicity fool you. Because sometimes you look at something and says, oh, that's so simple. That is so simple. No, in simplicity, there is genius, as long as it's not too simple and it misses the important points. But don't let simplicity fool you. And I think that's more important. So you get rid of the bullshit and look for simple, simple ways. But the thing is about things being simple doesn't mean they're easy. Oh, no, they're easy to follow. Yes, you have easy to follow steps. They're easy to understand. But the trouble with those bloody steps are they're going to take effort, they're going to take resilience, determination, intention. But those simple steps make it so doable. And you see, with simple steps and you take that confusion away and we do get confused now and again, by the way, because your unconscious mind will try to get to a point where it's a little bit overloaded but don't give up. Then that's a side thing. But, you know, we get a little bit confused. But then you look at the next step and you go, ah. I've just integrated the learning so I can move on to, to the next little step. But you get success with every step. I understand it, I understand what I need to do. I've just got to keep practicing. I've got to have the determination to carry on, keep doing it. I've got the intention. I, know where we're going and these steps are going to make it for me, because when I get it, you're going to be a master of it. And that's the thing, mastery. Knowing what you do and, doing what you know well, you'll know it so easily, you'll see it in your mind. I often wonder when people, Richard Baddley used to say, I see things, out there and I just read them to people or tell people, and I go, that's ridiculous. Until I've done it myself. I can see my mind maps in my head and I just follow them. And the thing about this simplicity thing, I've got three little examples. Two of them are from my own family, and it's not me. My youngest son, Joseph, has a program called mind mastery, where he looks to help people get rid of anxiety, unconfidence, all manner of problems by finding the root cause of their issue and then with simple steps to overcome it. And they are really simple steps, each one. And I always think it's like a domino rally. Each simple step, it's a little bit. Next one's a bit bigger, and the next one's a bit bigger. But as you tip the first one over, the second one gets easier, the third one gets easier. And by the end of that program, the changes people make are, amazing. It's not magic, but it's certainly magical to the people who get those changes. There's another one, here's another little example. There's, a podcast and a book I'm just, just reading by a guy called Mark Devine. He is, Alex, Navy SeAl, and now he has a podcast, the Mark Devine show. And he's written a book about being uncommon, and we love being, you know, that title, be an uncommon person in a group of uncommon people. That's really m being who you really are, isn't it? Because you're unique. Be uncommon in that group. Breaking anything down into simple steps can help you achieve anything But he is giving you, in his book, five Mountains. He calls them five mountains, and they're five different parts of your life to improve, building one upon the other, one step. And then as you get into that step, you move on to the next step, and with that, you begin to, as he puts it, really follow your north star, your passion, your purpose. But he's broken it down into simple steps. Again, simple, easy to follow. Got to take effort, though. And the last one for the moment is my eldest son, Daniel, who is. He does that little podcast. He's into his health, and he's broken down what he considers being able to be healthy. And I think he's broken it down to just seven areas of life. One of them is maybe just drinking water. Now you're even drinking water, you go, oh, that's so easy. Do it every day. Simple step, easy to understand, but to do it every day at a certain amount, but perfect health into seven steps. What an awesome thing to do. Because if you think you listen to other people about their health and how they're going to guide you through it, they're talking about all these complicated words, or they're complicated processes with complicated words, all sorts of things I have to, when I listen to them, m I've got a bloody dictionary trying to work out what they're doing. In fact, I've getting in touch with Daniel and say, what does that mean? What does this mean? But with, breaking anything down into a simple step means or steps, you are going to achieve things and you get more motivated, you get more confident in everything otherwise. I said confident like that. You get more confident. Confidence grows, especially when you have your intention. Confidence is there, and that confidence is then doubling with every step. So here's a sort of thing to finish ish. If something appears simple, rejoice, say yay, and, look at it. Does it make sense? Does it really work? Will those simple steps get you from here to there? A, b, c, d, e, whatever. One, two, CDE, throw them around, mix them up a little bit. If it's complicated or it may not be thought, thought through, just ask. This is, you know, if it's important to you and you think this thing that is complicated in front of you, been explained to you is, is valuable, but just not being communicated in a way that it is easy to understand and follow. Maybe just ask yourself, how could I? Or what would make this simpler? What would this be like? If it was in simple steps, what would those simple steps be? You may even ask the question, if this was simple, what would it look like? What would it feel like? What would I hear? Get all the modalities going and get your unconscious mind to start searching for those simple ways. Or you could, if you wanted to ask, Cloughie. Yeah, ask me. Send me an email. Say, look, this process is a bit complicated. Can you break it down for us? Can we get it into a simple process that would work? Maybe into a hypnotic process as well, or certainly something I can visualize to make it happen. So that's why I entitled this in search for an easy life. It's to create a life easily, effortlessly, and enjoy it. See, life doesn't have to be complicated. You just have to, you know, if you want to make it as complicated as you want, fine, but only make it as complicated as you need to. Which is a weird saying. But it doesn't have to be complicated, does it? And the thing is, when you, you look for things within things, I think you'll find them. So if something is complicated, break it down. Learn mind mapping. For me, that's the easiest thing to do. Tony Buzan, I think, was the creator of, mind mapping. But you find, find it online, ideally. I mean, you see them, you can get them on the Internet now and they're on your screen. But handwritten drawings are so much more personal. Again, you know, when you write things down, it's coming from your brain. Not tippy tappy or just copying a bloody picture. But when you look for an answer, and this is what it really comes down to, it's a little aha. Momentous when you look for the answer and you ask yourself a real question, how can I make this simple? How can I make it easier so I can succeed? If it was simple, what would it look like? You'll find it. Your unconscious mind will find a way. It'll find a way either to do itself, or it will find people who can do it for you. I said, send me an email, feedbackers um.com. or you'll find things on YouTube or whatever. But you'll look and, you'll find it in a way that you weren't necessarily searching for it. But it just comes up now. I always make a little note to myself. How do I want you to feel when you listen to all of this? And what I'd love you to feel. Maybe if I've done it, I've done my little thing and it's curious. That's all. That's all. I want you to be curious. Is that possible? Cloughie? Could I just do that if I learnt a bit of mind mapping or if I just ask those questions? If I just thought, get a paper and pencil, by the way, you could make notes because as we said, you get over five steps. The 6th one comes in and the first one drops out your head. So make those notes, but just get curious of what you want to learn and then look to how you can model it and model it in a way that model it into simple steps. And why is this important? Why is this important at all? Well, if you could be motivated, and, I say you. I mean me as well, if you could be motivated by the little success you get in each step, you're going to get the results you want. Not by being confused and overwhelmed by people making things more complicated than they need to be. I really hope, and I've rambled, hopefully. That story, that story has stuck with me for years. It's been with me. Paul Clough: Clarification is wonderful. I have my puzzle book It comes away every time I look at my books on that and my notes. I have my puzzle book, by the way, just as an aside, just came to my head, my puzzle book, the one I work out. I sit and think about all bloody mind maps because I get a problem in the center. And then I look for simple steps to find a solution to the problem. And, maybe one mind map will meet to another mind map, but it just makes things so clear for me. Clarification is wonderful. Yes. Just as a reminder, sometimes we do get confused, but that confusion is just your unconscious mind integrating all the knowledge you've just picked up. And then in an hour or so, that little aha, moment comes. And it's not really an aha moment, it's just that clarity comes and you can see the next step. And it all starts with curiosity. And, for me, it was the magic of that guy giving me something that made me curious, made me feel, I'm gonna go for that. I'm gonna look for it, I'm gonna find it. And the things I have found and created all from that one guy, man, that was awesome. And the thing was, he wasn't even selling anything. He just wanted to share what he's learned. Now, if that's selfless service in a t, if that's the word, how you say it, in a t, add a t, who knows? Don't care. But it was awesome. So I thank him from the bottom of my heart and the heart of my bottom. Anyway, shouldn't have said that. It's just a little uk joke. Anyway, please share this, to anybody you know, everyone you know, if you would press that bloomin old subscribe button, let's don't miss any of these. Because the thing is, not every episode will maybe hit it hit its mark. You'll think, well, that's not that interesting. But every now and again you'll get that golden nugget. And that's the important thing. That's why I listen to so many other things. I'll get golden nuggets. Sometimes you have to sift through a little bit, but hopefully here at, ah, personal development, unplugged, you'll find hopefully it's into simple steps. That's my aim. To share with you simple things and for us all to grow and have a rich life. Have fun, joy, find love everywhere. So please do that. Please share and share your thoughts with me. And again, that personal, feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged.com email. Please share what you've learned. Please share your ex, your, the things that you've achieved, you've experienced, or if there's anything that you feel I can improve upon or add to this. All welcome. All welcome. Thank you so much for your time. I, know time is valuable, but if we found one little thing, it's been totally valuable. Until the next time, my friend. Have so much fun. More fun than you can stand. Bye bye. Time to fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development, unplugged. Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

Unlocking Hidden Potential: The Power of Intense Feelings Are You Intelligent Enough to Know What You Want? In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of understanding your true desires and how to manifest them into reality. Join me as we explore why none of us are fully capable of understanding our deepest desires and how we can overcome this limitation. We'll discuss: The intriguing metaphor of a submarine and its radar screen as a way to understand our limited focus. Why focusing on what you want is just the beginning and not enough for achieving your dreams. How to tap into the vast potential outside your current awareness by intensifying your feelings and emotions. You'll learn: The importance of visualizing your goals and dreams with intense emotions. How to use the feeling of the wish fulfilled to guide your unconscious mind. Practical steps to amplify these feelings and let your unconscious mind do the heavy lifting. By the end of this episode, you'll have a simple yet powerful step to turn your goals and dreams into an even richer reality than you ever imagined. Ready to unlock your hidden potential? Share this episode and help others discover their true desires:   https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/402-youre-not-intelligent-enough-to-know-what-you-want Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough helps you transform your goals and dreams into intense feelings   What a title, eh? What a title. You're not intelligent enough. In a moment.     Focus on what you want and you'll get it, Cloughie says   In a moment, I want to talk to you about a submarine. What? Yeah, a submarine. It's a great sort of story. Sort of. You'll m get it. It's a great metaphor, but I want to call you out first. I want to call you out. You see, I know you're here. I, know you're here to find ways to create your dreams. And you're everywhere else, by the way. I'm sure there's lots of other things you're looking at and learning from. To create your dreams, your goals. To learn, to experience a rich life, everything that makes up a rich life and more. And I want to support you in that. And we imagine that the things that we would like to have as goals just imagine it will make it happen. But the thing is, great as those goals are, and we're going to come back to them, those dreams, the things you want to learn, that rich life. The thing is, and here's the real kicker, you don't know what you want. What? What? Cloughie you say? Yeah, you don't know what you want because you're not intelligent enough. Bit of a slap in the face, isn't it? You see, I don't care about your iq. I don't care what you've learned in the past, all your certificates, all your life's experiences. I just know that you're not capable of knowing what you want. I'm going to explain why in a minute. But by the way, by the way, this is not just me pointing at you, it's me pointing at me and everyone else. Because none of us, none of us are, intelligent enough, know enough to know what we want. Although we think we do, we don't now, you could say, well, if that's you, me and everyone else, Cloughie, not quite so bad. It is, but it isn't. And we're nearly at that submarine story, that metaphor. You see. I know, and I do believe this. We're told to focus on what we want. It's very difficult sometimes, isn't it, when we're, you know, we're in the alligator pit and you've got to get out and, thinking about training. We want to. Whatever. Whatever metaphor that was. We know that when we focus on the negative things, either they don't necessarily happen, but life is full of those negative emotions. Things just come along and keep creating that negative emotion. Yet if we focus on the positive things, things like synchronicity, coincidences, getting lucky, we just tend to get what we want, or more. And there's a reason for that. And I think this is where we're going. Well, I know that's where we're going. You see, it is all about focus, but that's not enough. We're told, focus on what you want and you'll get it. But to me, it's not enough. Because we're now still focusing on those dreams from up here, those goals, the things that we want. And now, you know, you're not intelligent enough. You don't know enough to know what you want. Now, you know, just by focusing on those things. Well, maybe that's still not enough. But the thing is, it's a great. It's a great start. Honestly. Let's not go too negative. It is a great start because without those, you wouldn't know the direction to head in. And that's the thing. But if we really, really, really want, and there's a lot of reallys in there. If you really want what you really want, we need to do one more little thing. One more little thing. And it is tiny, tiny, tiny. It's one more little step. Okay, so imagine. Imagine this. We're in a submarine. It's a nice submarine, by the way. It's comfortable. You know, it's nice and airy. There's a few people around, but we're wandering around that submarine and we hear a pip and more. And as we look where that noise is coming from, we can see the radar screen. You know, those circular things? I think they're circular. Anyway. They seemed circular in my mind. And it's got that line that goes round like a clock, like a second hand. Go round and round and every time it sees something, beep. There's a little dot on there or a shape or something. Now, that, to me, those little dots and the pip pip on, that little screen are your goals, the things you want, things you dream of. And that's what you're focused on. And you go, Paul, that's what we wanted. Focus on that thing. But here's the thing, and it is that one little thing. When you think of that radar screen, how much or how big is the area that it's checking for, your dreams, your goals? Not very big. You know, if you compare that, that little area compared to the whole sea or the whole universe multiverse, it's tiny. So tiny. And there's so much more outside that we're not aware of. Can you see that? And if we were, if we were to see everything, just imagine on that, you know, go back to that, radar screen. If that was to cover the whole world, whole world, sea, sea, world, it would be bipping all over the blooming place, wouldn't it? And we'd be overwhelmed with so much information coming to us, and we couldn't even focus on the little thing, let alone the big thing, because it'd be too much. Which is why we need to focus, focus on what we want. Because that's the start, that's where we begin, in that little radar screen of planning and looking for opportunities for our goals.     We can tap into everything outside by knowing what we want on the inside   But the thing is, if you, if you just think about it now, if we don't know all the things outside that little area, and there could be one. And what we know, I know there's wonderful things out there that we're not aware of. Wonderful things. And again, if we become aware of all those opportunities, we wouldn't even do the little things because we'd be in overwhelm. But I believe we can tap into that. We can tap into everything outside by knowing what we want on the inside. Your dreams, your goals, the things that you want to experience, the opportunities you want to have, the things you think about, that's the start. But how do we tap into that? Do you know? I do. I do. Well, I think I do. There's nothing, nothing ever, 100%. But to me, this really works. I'm going to tell you just how to do that. Now, that extra step. You see, you see, there's every dream and goal that you have. If you imagine the last step to start off with the big picture I've got there, I've achieved my goal. I've achieved my dream. I'm living the life. That last step of that particular goal, that dream you have the thing that you want, if you were to see it now in your mind's eye, achieving it, being there, seeing all the things you'd see, hearing all the things you'd hear, but you'd be feeling that feeling of, that wonderful feeling of achievement, success, maybe gratitude in there, love, joy, ah, all sorts of wonderful emotions. Be brilliant, wouldn't it? Now, when you feel that feeling, that's the thing that your unconscious mind recognises more than the pictures. The pictures are great, it gets that, the sounds are great, it gets that. But the feeling is like an arrow into pointing to the direction that you want. And that emotion is the motion for your unconscious mind to begin to look while you're focusing on the things that you want, because you're accessing the feeling and the feeling comes, we call it the feeling of the wish fulfilled. And that was, I think, first termed by a guy called Neville Goddard back in the early 19 hundreds. I think he was that far away, but he really got into it in the way that the feeling of the wish fulfilled, as if you've got it now, is a feeling that goes to your unconscious mind to say, this is what I want to experience. Now you're focusing on this little bit, but your unconscious mind says this and more, not this or that. This is an and, and that's the extra step. It's that simple, that simple. Visualize that goal, that dream. Get really specific again. We don't want general results. I don't want to be generally happy, generally rich life. I want a really rich life. I want to be really happy, full of joy, full of love. And, they're going to be made up of these dreams and goals, the things you want to have and experience. And, they all come from a good intention, they all come because they're important to you. So you pick that one goal, that one dream, the thing that you want to have happen, that part of the adventure, the adventure of life. Imagine that last step, the last step that I've got, this I've achieved, and it will look like this, it will sound like this, and feel the feeling. Let everything else disappear. Once you've got it, just concentrate on that feeling, intensify it. Imagine you could just double it. Imagine if you had a button, you could press it, go ten times that feeling. Maybe it's like a feeling control, like a volume control. You just keep turning it up and up so that feeling is so intense, you can wallow in that feeling, go. This would be absolutely awesome because now you've gone beyond that little circle of the radar. You immerse yourself in it, wallow in it, intensify it. And then what happens? Your unconscious mind gets it. And because it gets it, it starts to look not only within that small area of your focused attention, and you have to have that, by the way, and I, pooh poohed it a bit at the beginning, but you have to have that focus of attention because where attention goes, your energy flows. That's it. That's the one, I think. And you've got all that motion, energy, motion, lotion, lotion, motion, emotion. And your unconscious mind starts looking for opportunities to add to this, this or something better. They're the famous words that I love. No, they're famous. I think they come from, a lady called Shakti Gawain, great visualization person. I learnt this years and years and years ago and I didn't know that I got this little sentence from her, but it's this or something better. So you're saying to your unconscious mind, well, it's got to be lysis, but I don't mind it being better, this or something better, and then just let it go. Let it go into that multiverse universe. Let your unconscious mind start to look for those things for you. But the only thing you have to do, and it's a bit like the old secret, if you sit in your arse and just have the feelings and don't do anything, if you get the opportunities, you'll miss them because else goes sailing by as that opportunity comes, as your unconscious mind notices and shows it to you, that intuition, that opportunity. You then, like in the first or the second step or the key to success. The second key, use massive, intuitive, continuous action to get that goal. Follow your, heart, follow your intuition and follow that intention. And then reap an even richer reward. And again, if you. How long does it take to do, I don't know, a minute, two minutes? What happens if you did that three times a day? Oh, it might be six minutes of my day gone. That's six minutes of scrolling you don't want to do and you feel even better. Wouldn't that be brilliant? And that's it. Let your unconscious mind do the work and then you just reap the benefits. So I want to go back to the very beginning. What I'm saying is, we know what we want, but we don't know that there's more. There's more available to us and we can tap into that wonderful, rich life, the things that we don't know about, by just intensifying the feeling of the things that we're focusing on. So you are intelligent enough, you do know what you want, because you know what that feeling is. And you know, those goals and dreams you have are, steps along the way to achieving that, having even better, richer life. And then because of that, you're going to get more confidence in yourself, competent in your skills, you're going to learn more, meet more people, communicate, connect, and create even more opportunities.     Paul Warn: Start planning your goals and dreams now   So this life no longer is a journey. It's a series of adventures, step by step following your mission to become that ultimate vision of yourself and your ultimate vision of life. So at the, you know, you are now living great life. And because you're living a great life for a, wonderful attention, spreading those wonderful feelings and doing those wonderful things, you're assisting everyone else, everyone around you gets to feel that good because it's just infectious. They also see you as inspiration, as I can do. If they can do that, I can do that. So you're now an example of what can be done. You're an example of way, of the way you are and can do and be. You're being and seeing the change you want for yourself and helping others to do the same. And in that way, you are affecting the world. Little old planet earth gets to get richer. And that's my little test. My little test. Is that okay? Is it good for you? Is it good for others? Is it good for little old planet, earth and the rest of the multiverse universe? And everyone ticks as you've got that wonderful intention. So please, I hope you weren't offended because I wanted to just get that little shock, that pattern interrupt to go, hang on, there's one more little step. And when we add it in, things just get so much richer. So I hope you enjoyed that. I hope you'll bring to mind as you think about your goals, that little, little circle that radar, knowing there's so much more outside that you can tap into and even set your intentions. I'm going to feel this so much, this feeling of the wish fulfilled feeling as if I had it now, it would be like this and more so I can tap into all those resources outside my conscious awareness. And that's all it is. It's outside your conscious awareness right now. And getting your unconscious mind to bring it into your conscious awareness so you can have more fun than you can stand. Every heartbeat. There you go. That's it. Hope I made perfect sense. Not perfect, I hope I make sense. I hope I communicated it in a way that, that you get it. It's the best way I could do it at the moment. Maybe I'll change it another day. But to me, it's so important just to give that one more little bit, the little oomph, the difference that makes a difference. And that's all it is, the little difference that makes a huge difference. The tiny step that makes, leaps and bounds on your goals and dreams. And you start to create the reality for yourself just, well, even more, even more than you think you could, even more than you think you could enjoy even more. So now it's time to really start planning, really start getting into your goals and your dreams to make them so rich that you can expand even further. if you enjoyed that, please let me know. I'd love your feedback. Love your feedback. So if you could email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplug.com I'd love to know just what you felt about it, what happened when you did it. What are your goals and dreams? Maybe so I can help by finding even better processes. If you'd like this on a hypnosis track, let me know then. Maybe I'll produce this as a hypnosis. I've got loads, haven't I, that I may produce, but I need your feedback. I need your thoughts. Maybe there's some ways I can improve this even more. This being the podcast that is, and the way I present it, the way I connect with you, do it to my best. But I can always get better. And my intention is to, to, for all of us to get our dreams and goals and more. So please enjoy, please share, share this with everyone you, you come across. if you want to, please. No, all you have to do is just do it and hopefully more people will get to experience a rich life. Till next time, my friend. Have a richer life than you could ever imagine and enjoy every heartbeat. Till the next time. This is your mate, Paul Cloughie, and I'll speak and hear with you soon. Bye bye. Now.   Warn me you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.     Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Transforming Limiting Beliefs From Self-Doubt to Self-Worth Have you ever felt, "I'm not good enough," "I can't do this," or "I don't deserve thiss"? These limiting beliefs can be overwhelming, but what if I told you they have a positive intention? In this enlightening episode, we explore why these negative feelings can actually be a protective mechanism and how you can transform them into feelings of safety, comfort, and self-worth. In this episode, I'll discuss: The positive intention behind limiting beliefs. How these beliefs develop and generalize over time. You'll learn: Why your unconscious mind creates these beliefs to protect you. How to reframe these beliefs to feel good enough and worthy. Through a guided process, you'll discover: How to identify the emotions, behaviors, and beliefs you need to feel safe and confident. A simple yet effective visualization exercise to reprogram your unconscious mind. Join me as we delve into this transformative journey, providing you with the tools to change your self-perception and embrace the belief that you are good enough, capable, and deserving. This episode includes a practical exercise to help you implement these changes immediately. And...... After maybe you will want to share this episode with others: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/401-changing-im-not-good-enough-to-yes-i-am Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Have you ever felt negative about yourself? Well, this podcast can help Hey, heads up. Your heads up to this longer podcast. Have you ever felt, I'm not good enough, I can't do this, I'm not worthy, I don't deserve this. And think that it's not positive, really? Well, I'm going to explain why it is such a positive thing to feel this negative thing and then how we can change it to feel safe, comfortable, to feel good enough, to feel worthy, to feel that you do deserve, this and to feel you can do this. Now, if that's important, please take the time to have a listen. And there's a little process in this too. Again, something to help you really do. Something simple, easy, but is really effective. Okay, have a listen after this. Hello, and I'm here by duty and honor of my country to warn you you're entering into the, personal space of personal development unplugged. And it may seriously. Yes, seriously, make your life so much better. Better. Thank you. Clavi says limiting beliefs are positive because they form you, they give protection Hey, welcome back to the longer podcast. And have you ever felt this? And I got an idea that I know the answer. I'm not good enough. Have you ever felt that belief? And it's really weird that you can feel beliefs, but you just feel I'm not good enough. You might even say it with that internal voice in your head or something like I'm not worthy, which is a weird thing to say in this day and age, but we do say that to ourselves. I hear it so many times in my clinic with my clients. Or maybe there's another side of that. I don't deserve this. I can't do this. And you see, I think we can all relate to that and to these limiting beliefs, because that's what they are. They're just limiting beliefs. They have an emotion and doesn't feel good. And to be honest, it stinks, doesn't it? They stink, and it doesn't happen all the time. I know it's not a continuous belief, but just sometimes this thing comes and gets us. And I think if you look back over time, it's probably grown. And I'm going to tell you why shortly. You see, these limiting beliefs are positive. And you're going to say, clavi, what? How can, how can a limiting belief be positive now? How can they? Well, I'm going to tell you they're positive because they form you, they give you protection. And you're going to go, how can a limiting belief that makes me feel like I'm not good enough, I m can't do this, I'm not worthy. I don't deserve it. They don't feel good. So how can that protect me? There you go. I'm going to tell you, you see, let's just take that I'm not good enough. You see, if you have this belief of I'm not good enough, what you going to do? Well, you're going to do one of two things. One is you're either going to prepare like hell, prepare for that thing that you feel you're not good enough for. And you prepare and you prepare. And you basically, you know, if you prepare well enough, then you're going to succeed. But the unfortunate thing is when it grows and grows, you get into overwhelm, you get fearful because you keep thinking about that thing that if you do fail, because you're not good enough. And the more you prepare, the more sometimes that intensifies that fear and anxiety, does that relate? And you see, that also adds into the emotions that come from that, such as guilt, sadness. You've got the anxiety and fear, maybe fear of failure, fear of embarrassment. Had them so many times. Me personally and also with my clients, I think we can all relate to that, you know, what it feels like, and it just doesn't work anymore, does it? You see, but that protects you. The other thing, the other option you have is, well, because I don't feel good enough, because I'm, not worthy, because I don't deserve this, because I can't do this. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm not going to prepare because I just know it's not worth it. So you're going to give up. You're going to give up on that one thing. That could be the difference, but you give up. And then when you give up and you don't do it, what do you feel? Same bloody emotions, isn't it? Sadness, guilt, fear of what happens again in, the future. Anxious because, you know, other people, it might affect other people, it might affect your job, your career, your relationships, but it's a positive thing, by the way. I don't think I've convinced you of that. But it is, if you just take the logic of it, it sort of works. And, because it sort of works, your unconscious mind keeps doing it because I think sometimes it hasn't. Well, we haven't educated it enough to find a better way. You see, let me explain. Let me explain just a little bit how I think this has happened. You see, I think sometime in your past, generally, I think it's recognized that within the first seven years of our life, we experience things that, aren't, quite. Sometimes they might give us a bit of anxiety, they might give us a little bit, it's only a tiny little bit of fear, tiny little bit of anxiety, tiny little bit of sadness, tiny negative emotions. And our unconscious mind says, do you know what? I don't want this for them, so I'm going to protect them. So if anything happens like this again, I'm going to give them this little, little belief that I'm sort of not good enough. I give you that little bit of emotion around that maybe I give you that little belief that maybe you, you can't do this because you'll either prepare and succeed or you won't do it. And because it's only small, small, it doesn't really hurt that much. And you don't do it. So you don't get that embarrassment, you don't get that sadness, you don't get all that grief about what you were frightened of. But the thing is, it doesn't stop there because that was just once, one small time, but your unconscious mind goes, oh, here comes another event just like the one we had before, but it's a bit bigger now. So I'm going to increase that feeling, increase that thought about, you're not good enough, increase, you're not worthy, can't do this, I don't deserve, I don't deserve this. And you get that slightly m more, more deeper emotion, more, more intense, I guess is the word, more intense emotion. And you either prepare and succeed, but it was a little bit harder this time because it was a l not quite overwhelming because you did it or you definitely didn't do it, but you started to feel that little bit of grief, a little bit of sadness. And, what happens again, I think your uncle's mind keeps doing this a little bit more, a little bit more. But also, and this is the thing, it generalizes this type of behavior because something else comes along and it goes, well, this event coming along is not the same as those other ones, but it's similar. And if it's similar, I'm going to do the same thing. So where you were, having an issue with one small type of event, now, over time, it expands and expands and expands. So more and more different events, such only similar, not the same. You tend to feel, I'm not good enough, don't deserve this, I can't do this. And the thing is, it gets more and more intense because it has to get more and more intense because you might just push through it. And if you just push through it, you might not be safe. So the presupposition in an LP, which are just useful assumptions, every behavior has a positive intention. So the positive intention is, I'm trying to keep you safe. But in doing that, your unconscious mind doesn't realize the conflict that it's setting, because all the time it's trying to make you be safe in all different contexts now, not just that bloody one, but all of them. It's generalized into all different areas of your life. It doesn't make you feel safe. And there's a conflict, I'm trying to make you feel safe, to keep you safe. And the one thing I'm doing is not doing that, it feels unsafe. So you've got a direct conflict going on now. And the thing is, because it starts so small, we didn't realize it. We only realize it when it gets bigger and starts affecting all areas of our life. Now, if it's really big and it is affecting all areas of your life, you know, I always say, go and see a therapist. And I know that's the thing that everyone says, oh, go and see a therapist, but go and see a therapist to get it sorted one to one. And I'm now banging my head, or banging the drum, rather, go and see a brilliant hypnotist who has NLP master pracket, NLP master pranker, timeline therapy, a, master hypnotist. You get those three qualities, and that anxiety, that feeling of I'm not good enough, that feeling of I'm not worthy, don't deserve this, I can't do this. Will disappear really, really quickly. Hypnosis helps your unconscious mind to learn from small problems Don't talk about years of therapy, we've talked about that so many times. But get it done. Because you see, when I do this, when I do it in therapy, I get the unconscious mind to learn, to learn from that root cause, that one small thing. Remember that one small thing. If you can learn from that small thing and take away the emotion, because it's learned from that event now, and it doesn't need the emotion of I'm not good enough, not worthy, and all the behaviors that attach to that and the emotions attached to that, because it's learned, it's noticed a conflict. And when it notices a conflict, learning from the root cause and says, do you know what? Because it's not working, and I have to keep you safe. It's one of the prime directors of your unconscious mind. It has to keep your bloody safe, then it has to find a better way. And that's where the therapy comes in. The hypnosis working with your unconscious mind to go through all the resources you have now. Cause you've got a massive resources. Back then, when you were boy or girl, you had little experience, you had very little wisdom. So your unconscious mind could only do what it could do with the wisdom and experiences you had. But unfortunately, over this period of time, when it's generalized into all different stuff, it hasn't accessed and realized you have so much more life's experiences, all your learnings, all your wonderful values and beliefs that you've developed, the positive ones, the really good ones. So we help it to keep that protection. And here's the thing in doing that, the one thing we're not doing, which a lot of therapists forget, is we don't take away that positive intention. We don't say to your unconscious mind, m oh, just do this. No, we say, keep the intention to keep this person safe, to keep you safe, but find a better way. Now, I hope that makes sense. But the thing is, you might be saying, well, great, fluffy, but it's not that big at the moment. You know, sometimes I don't feel good enough. It's not affected my whole life, but it is not just in one area of my life, but maybe a couple of little bits, but it's a smaller thing. So this, I'm going to go through smaller things, which will certainly help you, if you do go to one to one therapy. But this is something you can do for yourself because I like to give you options and I like to give you processes, you know that. So this is for like mild anxiety, a little bit of worry, things that just repeat a little bit. And so we want to break that down, break it down into simple, a simple process. And if you think about it, just if you were to think about that issue, that problem, that problem that's giving you the feeling and the negative belief of, I'm not good enough, I don't deserve it, can't do it, you know, I'm not worthy, not good enough, all that stuff. Just think if you, we're not going to go to the root cause, but just imagine it was a younger you where it probably started, and you were very ickle, as I said, what do you think you would be, would have missed you didn't, what resources and skills and beliefs and values didn't you have? And there'll be a mass of them, so maybe too overwhelming to think, well, I can't think of all the things that my younger you needed, so let's just hone that down into something more simple then. So we go to the other side of the the issue. Well, I know in the issue I don't feel good enough. I have this emotion, maybe a little bit of fear, maybe a little bit of, you know, I've had some guilt and sadness and all that stuff. So how would I like to feel? How would I like to behave? And what would I believe instead? Are you going to make this up? Sort of make it up, because you can imagine, but when you imagine it's coming from you, it's not coming from anybody else. So think to yourself just for the moment. If I was to go through that type of event and be the way I want to be, achieve what I want to achieve, be able to go through it, feeling comfortable, what, maybe just top three, top three emotions would I need to have? And it could be just calmness, we've done it before, calmness, being comfortable, aware. Maybe it's a little bit of excitement, maybe it's curious, maybe it's connection, that feeling of connecting, being connected, being able to think of the behaviors. Maybe I want to behave in a way that I can just access the information I want or maybe I can act as if I'm calm, collected. Think about that. Just three emotions, maybe a couple of behaviours. You know, I want to just be able to use my body smoothly and effortlessly. And What belief would you have about yourself if you were to go through that event really successfully? Maybe it's a belief of I believe in myself. I'm okay, I've got this. So you've got an idea now. So we haven't gone back to the root course and tried to go through all the emotions that, that younger you didn't have. Because I guarantee you now, those three emotions that younger, you didn't have, those behaviors, younger, you didn't have, that belief and value you're younger, you didn't have. But you have them all because you've taken them just by thinking about them. They've come from that wealth of experience and learnings and wisdom that you've achieved and grown and had and accessed through all the years now. So you might want to write those down, but just think about them and then just imagine. Here's the thing now, if you've got a little bit of time and it is going to only be a couple of minutes and you are able to just sort of close your eyes, you don't have to close your eyes, but if you did, if you did, then you could just focus, focus on what you want. Now, I, just make sure you do not need. It's not hypnosis, by the way, but you do not need to be doing anything at all. Nothing to take your attention. Nothing. Your attention needs to be on you inside in this imagineering. And it's simple. All I want you to do is this. So, if it's okay, nothing's going to take your attention. You can close your eyes. If not, come back to this, you could just listen to it and then come back to it because you're going to have a. Like you've had a run through, and then you're going to come and do it properly. Just close your eyes and imagine. Imagine a younger you, just a younger you, maybe between the ages of 345678, 910, that time, that younger you. Maybe they're standing or sitting on a stage just in front of you and below you, and they're just there. Now, some people like to, or they have the intuition, the feeling that they have some words they want to say to this younger. And you could say them right now just how much you care for them, how much you thank them. You're so grateful for them trying to do all this thing for you, but now it's your turn. And as you do that, however you want to do it, just imagine sending them those three emotions one at a time. Just imagine being beaming them out from your heart to that younger you. Then imagine you could beam out those behaviors that they didn't have, that you have now in abundance to them. And imagine sending those wonderful values and that one belief. I've got this, it's okay. Sending it to that younger you. And you might even notice that they just change. The vision of them just changes slightly. Maybe they'll smile. Maybe they look at you just in that special way because you're sending all the resources that they didn't have back then, things that they needed back then that you have in abundance. And you might just want to tell them one more thing. This is the thing I love to send to a younger you, that, awareness that it's going to be okay. Because back then they didn't, they weren't aware that it'd be okay. And then as you just let them go, let them go in your. Imagine in the future that you go through one of those scenes Because it's only imagination, remember? I, want you to imagine going through one of those things again now, having learned all the learnings you need to learn because we're keeping that intention to keep you safe. And now you're even safer. And to know that I want you to imagine a scene just the way you want it. Imagine in the future that you go through one of those scenes that in the past used to cause you that little bit of fear, a little bit of worry, and see yourself going through it with those skills, with those emotions, with that belief and values, and going through it just the way you want it. And, notice how good it feels. You might even notice if you really thought about it, hey, this feels really safe. Because the thing about it is, you only ever feel unsafe. You never, when you feel safe, you just, you're just doing the things you want to do. So you just sometimes have to take a moment and go, do you know what? I feel comfortable. I feel good. You might even say to your unconscious mind, do you realize now this is even a better way, keeping the intention, and, now we've changed our behaviors, our beliefs, our emotions into a way that works even better, more appropriate, and just imagine in that future just getting better and better, this or something better. Then open your eyes and boom. And let it go. Let it go, because that's all you need to do. And then just go through, and then when you've gone through one of those events, notice how different you are. You may have to do this a couple of times. You may, as I said, if it's a little bit more deeper than that, you may need one to one therapy, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's great to do one to one therapy. I love doing it. But the thing is, all we're doing, whether it's in therapy or right now, and in the personal development unplugged podcast, all we're doing is educating your unconscious mind. Not this, but this. This is better. Keep your intention and change your behavior to the things that make it make life great, keep you safe. And, when your unconscious mind understands that conflict, not this, but this, this is better. We've kept the intention, I just believe it just takes it on. Because you have what you need right now, you're just not accessing them. Your unconscious mind is not accessing those resources, and now we're guiding it to those new resources. Now you might say, well, Cluffy, that's really simple, that's really easy. Well, as you know, in simplicity there is genius. And, why make things more difficult than we need to? If there's a simple way, and it's just imagination. But your imagineering is so powerful. It's so powerful. When you feel those wonderful good feelings, you're sending a message to your unconscious mind. This is the way. This is the way. And one of the reasons I thought this was important to start off with is because when you realize that you can do this thing without and, let go of having worry, a little bit of fear, a little bit anxiety, all the big stuff. When you see a therapist, you then realize you did it. No therapist did it for you. They are just a guide. They just have the processes that you don't know because they've learned them. But they help to guide you to find what you need to learn and let it go. And you do the work. You just have the will to do whatever it takes. And the will to do whatever it takes is something that you can even apply to all different things in life, like sharing this podcast. If you've got the will to do that and have fun with sharing this podcast, feel good about sharing this podcast. Even look back just before you go to sleep and say, oh, I'm so grateful that I feel so good about sharing this podcast. I think I've ran that enough. But have fun, do sit down and maybe just think about this even more. Just even if you don't, you know, we do this process, but just think about the things, how I'd like things to be. If we can get a habit of doing that before we start getting those negative emotions, we start to show our unconscious mind. Let's access the skills we've got. Let's change the way we behave and feel and, believe into the things that make. Make us feel good, make us feel joy, make us give love, make us, well, feel safe, and create the dreams we want to create. Create our reality, as it were. Because I want to support you in getting each and every dream that you believe you just dream of. That's what dreams are. They're dreams. And you dream of them, but make them bigger, brighter, and feel that you deserve it. Feel you're good enough to have this. That's what we're all about. Because you can. I love to know. I'd love to know. I ask this every episode. I'd love to have your feedback to how did you get on with this little process or what I've, shared with you, Shaun, with you. Because by doing that, it helps me to develop even more. It helps me develop processes, maybe, and fine tune them. because sometimes one thing doesn't quite go in, but then there's that little bit. We just shave it, we just move it slightly, adapt it, mold it, and boom, we hit the sweet spot. And that's what I want for you the sweet spot of creating your dreams and living them. Not just dreaming dreams, but creating them in the moment. Living those dreams and then allowing ourselves to dream bigger and brighter. Bit sloppy, Cloughie. But that's what I want for you. So do email me any feedback. It's feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. hope you really enjoyed that. I hope you enjoyed it. Anyway, have more fun than you can stand and fly into the now and the present with all that future right now. Confusing, isn't it? Anyway, you go fly. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Removing Anxiety in Real Life Overcoming Fear In this enlightening episode, we dive deep into the realm of anxiety and fear, sharing a personal story of how overwhelming anxiety can be and how it can be managed effectively. This episode is designed to provide you with practical tools to combat anxiety and regain control of your emotions. In this episode I'll discuss:   A real-life story of dealing with anxiety and fear. Two powerful processes to remove anxiety and feel good.   You'll learn:   How to push away negative thoughts and visualize a successful outcome. How to prepare mentally for upcoming anxiety-inducing situations.   Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, you'll discover:   The importance of acknowledging your anxiety and finding a better way to handle it. How to use visualization techniques to see yourself succeeding in stressful situations.   Join me as I share these valuable insights and techniques to help you overcome anxiety and live a more confident life. And...... After maybe you will want to share this episode with others: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/399-removing-anxiety-in-real-life/ Shine brightly Paul Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, my friend, we're back. We're back. And I promised you, I promised you from last, the last longer podcast, having had my little. Not a rant, but just a little thing about what anxiety is trying to do for us. And maybe we're just telling you and hopefully, supporting you in knowing that it's going to go really easily. It can do. So here's, I've got a couple of processes here, because knowing that anxiety hasn't happened, it's not real. But the thing is, I want to go back into a real life story, because anxiety is weird, isn't it? So weird. And we've all suffered from it, and we all suffer in different ways, I guess. Sometimes with panic attacks, sometimes with our heart just starting to race just a little bit, maybe our breath gets a little bit. I don't know. It just. And we get. I don't know. Well, you do know. We do know. It just overwhelms us sometimes, doesn't it? And there's nothing else that we can think of other than that bloody thing. Here's a story, and it's true, by the way. It is a true one. Happened a little while ago. See, I remember this time when I was thinking about this processes, when I was really worried about something. And it's quite weird, because I wasn't even in the bloody same country as this thing was supposed to happen in. It was like a sort of confrontation with somebody, or someone was threatening to confrontation with me about something, and I wasn't even there, so it couldn't happen at all. I was in a different bloody country. But, and there was a but it made no bloody difference. It didn't make any difference at all. And, even knowing what I know, I still felt, I still fell for it. In other words, what the fuck comes to mind. But, at that time, it didn't and as I thought about it, miles away from the scene, was it ever going to happen? I made that picture, that movie, in my head so bad. And I couldn't stop thinking about it. It spawned my every day, because as I'd be walking around thinking about other things, it would come into my mind if I stopped and paused to see the beauty came into my bloody mind. And it worried me. I could see it so clearly in my mind what was going to happen. I could hear the words. I could feel that feeling in my stomach getting tighter and tighter, feeling even a little bit sick, even smell it, taste it. And it was going over and over like a reel that wouldn't bloody stop. But the thing is, that reel got worse and, worse. That's really weird when you look at it back now, that's really weird because I wasn't anywhere near it. Have you had something like that too? Maybe you're a bit closer. But, you know, it is something that just happens in our mind. And we do, don't we? We make up the very worst scenarios that will never, ever, ever, ever, ever happen in the world. But they're so clear, so real in our mind, because our imagination is absolutely bloody brilliant. We have the most wonderful skill of imagination, imagineering, yet we tend to use it in the wrong bloody way, don't we? To scare the shit out of ourselves. And, I had to do something. I knew I had to do something. There's one thing I did have to do. First of all, I wanted. Well, we all know. Well, do we all know, Paul, we can surmise the positive intention, because behind every behaviour and a behaviour is a thought, an emotion behind that positive intention, or the positive behaviour behind that behaviour is to be prepared if something's going to happen. My unconscious mind, my best friend, was going to prepare me like hell. It was going to give me so much preparation, so many different scenarios, so many different things to do. So, And, it span out of control. And I couldn't be prepared because I was in overwhelm, because I was just now worried, anxious, thinking of every. When I think about it now, stupid thing that could have happened. But here's the first process I knew. I knew. I knew from all my experiences, all my learners, I had to get some respite. And I could, you see, it was in my face, literally in my head. The movie in my head was actually right out in front of me, right suffocating me as it was. I couldn't see anything. So what do I have to do? Well, I'm too close to it. So I decided with all my skills, and you didn't need any, really, to push it away, to push that picture away, push it away from me. And you can, when you think about it, and all you have to do is go push it away. And as you push it away, guess what happens when things go to the distance? They get smaller. They begin to shrink. And if they don't shrink it fast enough, you can actually, in your mind, I'm gonna shrink that even smaller and smaller. And as it gets smaller and darker and further away, it actually gets darker. Jumped in there. As you push it further away, it gets smaller, and you shrink it, and it gets darker, it gets out of focus, the sound. You can turn it off if you want to. And this is what I did occasionally, when it kept coming, I changed the voices into, like, a sexy voice. So this, person had this sexy voice who was confrontational. And it just gave me time to breathe because I knew now it was over there. And, when you push it over there, out of your vision or, out to the side of your vision, way out there, smaller and darker, even with the sound off or just weird, it gave me time to think.     The next time anything starts to give you anxiety, acknowledge it   And, one of the thoughts I had was what, in reality was the worst that could happen. And I thought about it and I thought, well, I wouldn't let everything I've thought about happen. I just wouldn't let it happen. I'd keep a distance. I decided how I'd wanted to feel, to act. So I'd act calm. I might have to match and mirror a little bit, but bring it back to calmness and just notice what happened. And I noticed when I did that I could see a successful ending. I could see it just petering out because really, it wasn't going to happen anyway. And if it did, I knew in my heart, really, that I'd blown it out of all proportion. And there might have been a few words, but in the end of the day, there were just going to be words. Nothing more than that. Especially if I stayed calm, aware, and just that's it, really standing my ground, being confident in myself. That's all I needed to be me. And as I did that, I'm, seeing that successful ending of it just disappearing. And it was just, well, it gave me that respite. And so whenever I was walking along or doing something and that picture came along, I just pushed it away, saw that successful ending again, how I wanted to feel. And I got, on it gave me that time. It was like a pattern interrupt. Because every time it came, I pushed it away, and it interrupted that blooming pattern, turned it off, interrupted that pattern. Great thing to do. And in the end, your unconscious mind goes, actually, he's thinking of a better thing. He's actually safer over there so that he's prepared. I'm trying to get him prepared, but he's actually prepared, and it will disappear. And guess what? Guess what? And yours most probably will be the same as mine. It never happened. It really never happened. That situation never happened. It didn't come anywhere. It just never, never, never happened. Actually, right in my nose. Ff's you can m make that. You know what that means, if you know what it means, because it just never happened. And that when you do, that gives you more confidence. The next time. The next time anything starts to give you the anxiety, maybe starts to give you panic, fear, you can acknowledge, just acknowledge it saying, okay, I know what you're trying to do for me, but let's just get a bit of space, because this overwhelm isn't protecting me. Let's find a better way and, push it away. Turn the sound off. Make it dark, small over there. And just how would you like it to be? What's, in reality, the worst that could happen? And how would you like it to be? Because then you can mitigate, because don't make it any worse than it is, because this is now you've got space, the likelihood, and then mitigate m it by how you'd like to be, how you're going to change it. See the successful ending. You do that enough times, and you don't have to do it many, your unconscious mind will choose to say, well, actually, this is better for me. This is better for him or you. Her, she, your best friend, will help you. Now, that's amazing, because that's all I did for that particular thing. Didn't do anything else. I felt better. It didn't bother me anymore. And, when I returned to, to my home, as I said, it didn't even happen. So what a waste of worry that could have been. I could have been worrying for weeks, because it was about two or three weeks before I got back. I could have been worrying and anxious and making it worse and worse. And what would that do? It would just make everything, it wouldn't be good for me. It wouldn't be good for the people around me, and probably wouldn't be good for little old planet Earth, pushing out all that anxiety. But the change was so good, so good for me. Therefore it was so good for other people around me because we got to enjoy each other and little old planet Earth got to have those vibrations. But that's only one way. That's only one way.     Abe: Having social anxiety can lead to anxiety in social settings   And I know I pack a lot in and I want to pack a lot in, but I want to show you one more way, share with you one other way. Because that was like a fictitious one. It wasn't fictitious in my mind at the time. It was, it could have been a reality, but it didn't. I prepared for it. But there are some things that you know are going to happen. You know, you might have in your diary that at a certain period in the day next week, this week sometime, you're going to have a meeting. It's in the schedule, it's in your diary. Or you could have an interview maybe, or you're going to meet somebody. It doesn't have to be confrontational, by the way. This could be slight social anxiety. Haven't heard that word for a long time, have we? a few years ago, that was the buzzword. Hey, I've got social anxiety. But it might be social anxiety. Having anxiety in social settings. Now you know it's going to happen. You're going to meet those people this evening, you're going to have that interview, you're going to meet that person, you're going to have whatever, it's a meeting. You gotta stand up and prepare something or present something you prepared. And guess what? We can end up doing the same thing, can't we do the same thing in our bloody head, make it as worse than it could ever be and then double that, Cause that's what we do. And then we scare the shit out of ourselves. All in that wonderful intention, positive intention to prepare. But because of all that anxiety, that fear, now we can't prepare properly, can we? Because if we prepared properly for that situation, it wouldn't be a problem, would there? Because we would be prepared. We'd able to know all the resources we wanted, we'd able to access them, we'd know what's going to happen. Maybe a little practice, but sometimes practice, You could just get to see the bullet points, the final things. That doesn't happen or it may not happen. So if it did happen, not the worst scenario, but if you did have this thing to do, you know it's going to happen. It's a definite, the only way it's not going to happen is if you go sick. You call a sickie, you swerve it, and we're not going to do that because we don't need to do that because we're better than that. I, know you're better than that if you have this type of thing. So again, let's just acknowledge and thank our unconscious mind, our best friend, not for scaring the shit out of us, but for trying to protect us, trying to prepare us for the worst. But let's just acknowledge that this feeling we have, this maybe overwhelm, this worry, this anxiety, this panic, maybe the sleepless nights, just acknowledge to your unconscious mind, I know you're trying to do something for me, to help me, to protect me, but it's not working. This is not appropriate. So let's change that. Just ask your unconscious mind, you could do if you want to, Abe, do you want to look for something better that would help me better, that would say that keep me safe, better, maybe produce a really good outcome. And, if you've got a best friend like that, it's going to say, yeah, I'm going to listen. Because if something I'm doing for you is not working, and I'm your best friend, and I really got to keep you safe, I've got to listen, haven't I? So this is what we do. So first of all, and if you could write this out, it does help, but you don't have to, you could do it on the fly if you haven't got time. But if you're thinking about it and it's something that's going to happen in the next day or two or a week or so, write it down, because it will get, once you get it out on paper, you're getting that dissociation, you're getting it out there. It's out of you into onto that paper. So how do you want to feel in that situation? How do you really want to feel? Just think about it. You know what would be the most appropriate emotion for some people? It might be just, I want to be calm. I want to be aware of what's happening. Awareness is a great thing to have, because if you're aware, then you can access the skills that you need. Because you're aware. You're not jumping here, there. I'm just aware. Maybe you just, well, those times when I've been really in control of myself and I have been able to access all that I need, say there's some information there, I want to communicate something with somebody. Maybe there's times when I just want to be able to communicate, find that connection. And you see, when you start to do that you write it down, you will think of times in the past when you've been maybe calm. You've been, you've had that awareness, you've had that control in yourself. You've been able to connect and you see as you do that and you just remember it visually or become aware of that. Memory doesn't have to be visual sometimes it generally is. But if it doesn't, it's just an awareness. Your unconscious mind has to connect to that feeling too, doesn't it? Can't not. And it's going to start comparing, well, calmness, awareness, control, connection, and compare that to overwhelm, worry, anxiety, panic. Well, it's now going to say, well, I can actually see which one's going to work, isn't it? But I say on the fly, you could just go through that and feel it.     Some of it is just, uh, breathing. Because breathing always helps   How would you like to behave now when I say that, what behaviors would you like? Some of it is just, breathing. Because breathing always helps. So I'd like to breathe easily, effortlessly, just be there. Because when we panic, we breathe up high, don't we? And everything gets faster. The pitches in our mind go faster. We can't. And that's sometimes why we can't explain ourselves to people, because we're trying to, to explain the pictures in our mind, but they're going so bloody quickly that we can't. But when we just relax and become, we can then become aware. So we breathe just a little bit, just a little bit more deeply. And you can practice that sometimes. But just think about it now. How would you like to breathe? Now, some people say, I want to be relaxed, but sometimes relaxed is too much. So maybe you just want to be relaxed and alert, which is that awareness, I guess, as well. Now, the other behavior I want is that access to all that I need to know. Because I know you have a myriad of experiences, a myriad of skills, a myriad of everything you need. Maybe you just want to behave in the way that how you talk, talk easily, comfortably, eloquently, accessing all the words you need to have so it's smooth. You're not stumbling over your words. So we're not going to talk about what we don't want, though. We're going to say, I don't want to stumble, I don't want to do this. No, I want to talk easily. I want to talk smoothly, eloquently. I want to talk at a pitch. I want to change my pitch, my tone, so it gives it life, gives it a melody. I've been listening to, I can't remember the guy's name now, but he talks about speaking with a melody, and it sounds brilliant. So you start to think about those. And as you think about those, if you think about just thinking about how you would talk with a memo, with a melody, automatically you start to think of your voice moving and creating wonderful resonance. You can't help but do it. You have to do it. And your unconscious mind is going, bloody hell. These are all skills that are going to make things so much better. And then you think, well, what belief, I don't know why I said it like that. What belief would be best to support you? Things like, I've got this, I'm good enough. I'm good enough to be here. I deserve to be here. I'm going to share what I've got because it's good. So you can think about that. You might want to write those down, too, because they're great. Now, here's the thing. You may have been doing that with me right now. Maybe you've got something you're thinking of in, it's going to happen in the next day or so. So you've probably been thinking about this scenario and these type of things. So here's the thing. If it's okay with you and you've got nothing else to do, nothing's gonna, you know, nothing needs your attention. Because basically, I want you to close your eyes in a minute because I want to go through this with you just gently. So if you weren't thinking of a situation, well, think of a situation now, and it could be one in the past that you want to change. Okay? So, so we can learn from it. Because if there's a situation, say, well, I haven't got a situation right now, but if this situation that happened in the past was to happen again, I'd, like it to be different because I know I was doing it again. I'd start to worry because it didn't work well. Don't know why I whispered then, either. So here's what I want you to do again. If nothing needs your attention, I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes. It's just visualization of a sort. Visualization is either 2020 vision or just an awareness and everything in between. So you can't, you can't not visualize. So here's the thing. Think of that situation you're, you want to be able to be successful at, or a situation in the past where you'd like to change it. So for if it happens in the future. It'll be perfect. Not perfect, it'll be great. Bring it to mind. And close your eyes. And as you close your eyes, take a nice breath. Let's think about that breathing. Let it out. And gently. Just breathe. And I want you to see that scene, the scene that's either going to happen or the scene that did happen, but I want you to see it dissociated, which means it's over there. You're seeing yourself over there in that scene through your own eyes now. So it's like you're watching a movie of yourself, of that thing that happened or you imagined to happen, how you want it to be. And I, want you to see it exactly how you want it to be. Remember if you wrote it down, but how. See yourself feeling the way you want to feel. Calm, aware, controlled, connected. See yourself over there behaving the way you want to behave. Breathing, relaxed and alert. Having access to all you need to know to be able to talk easily, effortlessly, eloquently, and having that wonderful just way of talking. Now just remember. And that belief, see yourself over that being just the way. Because that belief that you've got this, this is yours, you have a right to be here, to do this. See yourself with all those skills, all those resources, being just the way you want it to be. And maybe as you do that, you can be able to feel those inside yourself. Now, as you look at yourself over there and notice how those, if there's other people involved, notice how they act to react in accordance with the way you want it to be. Because of the way you are over there. And when you think it's about right, it doesn't have to take a long time. We're probably nearly there already because it's the essence that we want for your unconscious, mind.     Imagineering that you could flow out of your body right now into that   So now I want you to imagine another imagineering on top of this. Imagineering that you could flow out of your body right now into that. You over there, you're in that city, looking through your own eyes. Being there, you're fully associated. You're associated to those emotions, that calmness, that awareness, being control, connecting, or whatever you, you want to have. Remember those behaviors. You're now feeling them. Now you're breathing. Feel that breathing. Feeling how relaxed you feel, how you are alerted, accessing all you need to know, being able to talk so easily, eloquently, changing your tone. Notice that belief you have. Feel that belief right now. So you'll see what you'll see, hear what you'll hear, feel everything about that you might even have the spell and taste of success. And, as you're there, say, with your inner voice as you float back to yourself, this or something better, because we always float back into ourselves because this is where we live in ourselves. And imagine that scene floating off into the multiverse of universe exactly the way you want it, maybe just dropping itself into the future just when it's about to happen and it just dissolves into your future timeline. And notice if you do that, you could probably feel the time of your future realigning itself with all these wonderful changes. And literally, you can look forward to it now, forward to your future. And if there's any preparation you need to do to make sure you've got everything you need, you can now prepare, prepare with that belief. I deserve this. I'm going to do this. And then open your eyes and think of what you need to do. What are the few steps? Because there will only be a few steps because you've got this. You wouldn't be going to do it if you didn't have this. Maybe there's nothing other than to do then maybe just imagine it again or just feel those feelings again. Maybe think of times in the past when you've had those skills, those resources. And guess what? The whole point of this is. It's not complicated, it's simple. Doesn't mean to say it's always really, really easy, but it's as difficult as you want to make it, and it's as easy as you want to make it. And, then there, you say to your unconscious mind, the choice is made, we're going to do this and we're going to do it well. Allow, them to be so, and you might even just think, and here's a real good kicker, just come to my mind. You might just want to think when I go through that event in the future, when I actually go through it and it becomes the now and it's that successful, just wonder what new opportunities will come my way. What new opportunities could you, my unconscious mind, notice for me so they become the focus of my attention there. Was that good? I hope it was good. I hope you enjoyed that. You never know. Might do a hypnosis one of this, I hope hypnosis track. Where do you get them from? Paulcloughonline.com podcast. There you go. We've got loads of them. Might add to the list with something like this. Have to let me know. Let me know if you, if that would be appropriate. Not appropriate if, that was something you you'd like to have. Now, you see, this is, as I say, following on from a little bit from the last podcast, because this is in some ways the antidote to fear and anxiety. It's not the only two. There's more, there's so many more things we can do, but these two just work really well. And that was a true story, by the way. It's exactly what I did. And now you can just go, well, now I'm ready to act. I did think that you might feel relieved, but I didn't want you to feel relieved. I just want you to feel confidence, confidence, your competence. We'll always learn more. And the most important thing about this, and I had to think about this, what is important about these two processes? What is important about the things I wanted to share with you? And the most important thing is it just simply works. Because it just works. They work, and it doesn't take years. You don't have to go back to the root cause of all your anxiety. You do sometimes if it keeps coming up, and we all do, you know, you do therapy on this stuff and it doesn't have to be long therapy, by the way. We can do therapy and, we do more processes, get our unconscious mind to learn, learn from the root cause of it. But on these things, what come up and just blindside you sometimes? Well, you've now got, another set of resources. So bookmark this, listen to it again, get it in there, make a few notes. Not many notes to make, really, is there? So you can remove anxiety, fear, all that blooming stuff, overwhelm, panic. Because m the thing is, everything we've talked about, the things you were thinking about were not real because they haven't happened. And now, because if you do this, it won't, it'll happen in a different way. There you go. I hope you enjoyed that. I really do. I enjoyed saying it or saying it. Sharing it made me relive a few things, and I didn't relive the, the panic because it's no longer there. I relived what I did and how it, how it felt to be able to do that. And that's a good feeling too, by the way, knowing that you've just learned another skill. But, the thing is, let's go back to skills. You might even say, some people might even say, oh, I know all about this, Cloughie. I know it. Okay, if you know it a bit like me, I knew it, but I didn't always apply it. And mastery is the application of what you know, and, knowing what you're applying, that's a weird way of saying it. Clavy is knowing what you do and doing what you know so you don't have to know a lot, but do what you know and then know you're doing what you know and then learn a bit more. And as you learn a bit more, do what you know and know what you do and keep it going. Increase that skill set. Life gets so much better that way. And it's a great adventure to keep learning, keep finding these new ways. I love it. I love it. I'll keep sharing with you. I'd love your feedback on this or any, of the other episodes. Just please, just please email me m feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com.     let me know your thoughts. Can I improve it? I'd love to improve everything I do   let me know your thoughts. Can I improve it? I'd love to improve everything I do. Hopefully, if you go back to the very first one, you'll notice a huge difference. But if there's anything I can improve or anything you'd like to like me to share, find a process, explore with you ways to change, because we're going to do it easily, effortlessly and comfortably quickly, because that's what we do and making it permanent. So there you go. If you see anybody who you know has talked about being anxious about things, worrying about things, hey, share this episode with them if you can. Share it verbally. When I say share it verbally, share what you know, because if you can explain this, you'll realize that how ah much you've learned. If there's a gap in your learning and you can't quite explain it well, then you can come back and learn that a little bit more to get it in the muscle. But also share them the episode, if you would. And if you're new here, you enjoyed it. I'd love you to subscribe if you want to leave a little feedback, but I found out lately it's very hard giving reviews. I think sometimes you can put like a star and a five star, but finding places to write the review is quite difficult. I tried it on a couple of podcasts and I couldn't find the bloody thing. So if you tell me where that is, that would be great. But just subscribe and share and, we'll make this world a little bit better day by day. And one way you could do that is having more fun than you can stand, as we say. So go fly, my friend, and enjoy. Bye bye.     Warner, leave Paul Clough behind and focus on personal development   Now.   Warner, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.   Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Selfless Service What It Really Costs The True Meaning of Selfless Service In this heartfelt episode, I delve into the concept of selfless service and its profound impact on our lives. What does it truly mean to serve without expecting anything in return? I'll share personal anecdotes and insights that highlight the essence of selfless service, from helping a stranger in need to the simple act of sharing a smile. You'll discover The real value of selfless service and how it enriches our lives. Why acts of kindness, big or small, can create ripples of positive change. How to cultivate a habit of kindness and make it a part of your daily life. Join me as I explores how these acts of kindness not only benefit others but also bring unexpected rewards to ourselves. This episode encourages you to reflect on your own experiences of giving and receiving kindness and to spread that positivity in your everyday interactions. Listen in and discover how embracing selfless service can transform your life and the lives of those around you. Please share as an example of our selfless service https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/397-selfless-service-what-it-really-costs   Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough writes about selfless service in his new podcast   Here's your heads up to the longer podcast. It costs you nothing. What is it? It's all about selfless service and diving deeply into what it really is, what it really means, and how it can affect you and your life. I heard something about it and it just made me want to dive deeper into it. And I hope you'll come with me too. Okay. I get a little bit soppy, but hey, once in a while ain't bad, is it? So please have a listen after this. Come dive with me. Warning.   Too late. Personal development unplugged.   So how much does it cost? If it costs nothing, would that be of value to you? Funny story. I used to have a website for free hypnosis. Free hypnotherapy. And you'd have thought that would have get loads of attention, wouldn't it, in the area, because it was free hypnosis in, I think it was bournemouth or free hypnotherapy in Bournemouth. And guess what? For over two years, I got nothing. I think I had two inquiries. And, one of those inquiries, there was a guy there, he was so proud. He said, but I can't accept it for nothing. I can't afford a lot, but I will pay you what I can afford. Because it was then of value to him, because he wasn't paying nothing for it, or it wasn't free. That's weird. But that's like an aside, because a little while ago, it was quite some time ago, this story jumped into my head. And it's a story about me. I was doing some shopping and I'd parked my car into a multi story car park. And as I'm going back to the car, I'm walking up these steps to get to the top, and I saw this fella, young lad, sitting on the stairs, looking a bit down. He didn't really say much to me. He didn't beg, but he just really down on his luck. And I just said, and I don't know why, I never really do this, but I just said, are you okay? Just asked if I could help him. Are you okay? And he told me a story. Story how he was having problems. He was about to move into a new. A new, like, hostel. So it's just like a room. But he was really struggling because some of his money that he was doing hadn't come in and is having problems. And, you know, you get that feeling sometimes that this isn't just a story trying to get money. It was a true story. He seemed pretty genuine. Mind you, I get. I can get taken in quite easily, have done in the past, and, normally I just let it pass. I just go, okay, talk about it. But something got me. There was the look on his face, the. Either he was a very good storyteller, or he was telling the truth. And, I got that feeling. The feeling that this guy's pretty genuine. Pretty genuine, and he's down on his luck. And he said, I'm really struggling, mate, so I know you stopped by, but if there's anything you can do to help me, you know, I'm struggling, for that cash. And, for once, I never have cash on me. I never have cash on me, very rarely. But for once, I had five pounds on me. A five pound note, five dollar note, that type of thing. Five pounds. And I just felt compelled. I said, look, you don't do drugs, do you? Because, of course I can't. I can't afford drugs. But he said, no, I don't do drugs. I'm trying to get my job going. I'm trying to do this. I need that. So I said, look, here's fiver. Please use it wisely. And he thanked me, and I went on my way. And I didn't really feel I'd done anything special. It was just nice. And there's a little side note to that. I've been in that car park a number of times since then in that area, and I've never seen him again there. So hopefully that means he's not. That wasn't his pitch. But the question I was asking myself is, is that an example of selfless service? Maybe. Maybe. But selfless service doesn't necessarily mean giving money, does it? M. But certainly I wasn't getting anything out of return for that. He wasn't giving me anything. He wasn't doing anything. I got nothing in return. The only thing I got in return was feeling a little bit of hope inside me that I'd done something good. And the hope was that good would actually be real good. And there's nothing to do about bigging me up, because I very rarely do that. I don't like getting caught. But something changed that day, certainly for that man, that boy, or a young lad.     Cloughie: Selfless service is doing something for no return   But the other day, I heard another definition of selfless service, which really, really, I think, put it into real simple terms for me. And this person was saying, well, selfless service, you know, we talk about selfless service, is doing something for no want of return. But sometimes people do it saying, well, I don't want anything return. But maybe down the line like that, the work they do with creating connections, creating. I get the words right, Cloughie? Creating connections for your career. So you do something now. Do something now. I don't want anything. I don't want anything. But, you know, at the end of the day, you might get something back. There'll be some reciprocation, in, in that workplace. But this, this person was saying, well, imagine helping a child. Maybe they're in distress and you're comfort. You, you comfort them, you protect them. You just do something for that child. And it may be your child, it may be just a child that you see and forget all the things that go on about that horrible stuff. But if that child needs help, you would do that, wouldn't you? What about a friend? What about a friend? Maybe there's one down on their luck. Maybe if you asked and said, you know, how you doing? Are you really okay? And they finally open up and say, no, actually, I'm having a bit of a problem. I'm having a hard time. I didn't like to say anything, but, you know, if I could share. And you listen and maybe you're simply just giving that support. You're not giving them anything in physical terms other than support an ear, just to listen to them, allow them to speak, to be heard again, what are you in return for that? And again, both of those things that cost you nothing other than maybe time. What about a smile? Okay, Cloughie you're getting. But this is what. No, this is what this person, I think, I don't know if the person said this or I've taken it a bit further now. Just notice how that makes another person respond. It's infectious, isn't it? If you're walking along, very rarely, if you smile at somebody, they'll just smile back, even if it's not the biggest smile in the world. But if you make your smile big and you know that makes them feel good, doesn't matter whether they're down, whether they're feeling good, they will just feel good. And I know that because the other day I was wandering, wandering, wandering down the beach. And this lovely lady, she was riding a bike, and she's actually just come past me. She beamed at me. Just a lovely smile. And then she'd gone. Didn't even have a chance to say anything at all. She just smiled and drove on or rode on. It cost her nothing, but made me feel good, made me just feel. Oh, the world's a lovely place. That's a good feeling, isn't it? Or for some of us. What about, seeing an animal in distress or maybe lost, you know, panicking because it can't find its owner? We'd help it, wouldn't we, if we could? And again, that, animal can give you nothing back. Can't give you anything back. It cannot repay you. Well, they do, because with love. But you know what I mean. But we're not looking for anything. For our, a bit of kindness, I guess, for each one of those, you know, helping a child, helping a friend, a smile, helping an animal in distress. For each one of those, do you expect anything in return? Nada, isn't it? It's nada. Nothing at all. Yet you do it in a heartbeat, and it costs you nothing other than a little bit of time. And so what does that feel like? What does that feel like when you do things? Imagine, I know you've all done this. I know you, particularly. You specifically in the past. If you go back through your past, you've done acts of kindness. And I think acts of kindness are, this selfless service. Remember one. Now, just cast your mind back over the future. Back over the future. Cloughie. Come on, get it right back over your past. And as you maybe just bring one to mind, if you bring one to mind, you suddenly find others will start to not necessarily flood in, but you tend to just come in more easily. And as you find one, just remember that feeling. So remember that memory. Go back into that memory. Let it. Let it come into your mind and be there again, just for a moment. It was okay to do this, by the way. You know, if your attention is needed elsewhere, please go and do whatever needed. Come back. But just at the moment, just remember that act of kindness. And it may be you could always turn this around when you've been shown an act of kindness. So either one, and as you remember it, go back then to that time right now. See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel that feeling. Feel that feeling. And as you feel that feeling. It's nice, isn't it? And have that nice feeling. Imagine taking your index finger, that's the one next to your pinky and your thumb, and just gently squeeze them together. That's all. As you feel that feeling of kindness, either kindness shown to you or kindness that you've given for no one in return. And as you feel that feeling, squeeze that index finger, the one next to your pinky and your thumb.     Imagine sending a feeling and a symbol out into your future   together. And as you do this, just for a moment, imagine what symbol, what symbol would pop into your mind right now to represent this feeling? Just let that happen. And a symbol could be anything, could be a color, could be a picture of something, could be maybe a memory of a friend, be anything, could be a word that just comes in. And as you think of that and that index finger and thumb are squeezing together, just gently, this symbol is getting attached and anchored to this anger. And I wonder, as you hold those two, that finger and thumb, together, imagine sending this feeling and that symbol out into your future. Don't know how you do that, but you can just imagine the timeline of your future that stretches way over there. And just imagine sending that symbol, this feeling, through every day of your future. Because wouldn't it be nice if every day you were, able to give an act of kindness, maybe receive an act of kindness, but have this feeling? That's all you'd want in return, isn't it? This feeling? isn't that interesting? You can do it so easily and then come back to yourself. Look through your own eyes now in your own body. See the world as it is right now. Because if you want to, you know, if you spelt your surname backwards for a moment and blink twice, maybe three times, and then squeeze that index finger, the one near your pinky and your thumb together, you get that feeling again, and that symbol will come to mind, and it just radiates out into the future. So what's the point of all this clavy? That's what I'm saying. Well, the point of this is imagine. Imagine your life with that feeling and the effects of it. What do you mean, the effects of it Cloughie? Well, you see, having that feeling will affect you, obviously, emotionally, because that's the feeling, a nice feeling. And emotions affect your physiology, because if you're feeling down, you feel down. The words are there, but if you're feeling kind, don't you feel for me it's fuzzy. A nice, fuzzy feeling. The world is good. That's me. Imagine the pitches you make in your mind. The world just gets nicer, doesn't it? Brighter. And then there's. That's the effects in you. In me. And maybe my behaviors are going to keep changing, and I'm going to make more memories and have more experiences. And the more experiences I have, the more I enjoy it, the more that feeling grows and the more I do it. But the more I do that, selfless service has actions that cost me nothing but affect other people too. The people I help, the people I smile at, the people I just take care of. Maybe just a kind word, a moment or two to listen, maybe just to ask, hey, how you doing? You never know. Whenever you want to, if you ever want to speak, I'm, here. Hey, how can I help? Opening a door. Open. I say that word. Maybe it's, opening a door for somebody or lifting something because they're having a bit of trouble. Just kind actions. You're never going to get anything back, but what a feeling. And in effect, you're just quietly going about your day, being kind to others. And the thing is, there's something else that happens when you do this. Because you tend to be known as that kind person. And that kind person is an example to others, and that's infectious. You infect. Infect? Yeah, you infect others and affect others with your kindness. And if that was to happen, and people saw that as an example, and it was infected, infectious, they might start each, day or in their day, going quietly about their business and being kind to others too, and infecting the whole world with kindness, we never know how far the ripples of change would go. And so that kindness will just keep spreading, multiplying, like pay it forward. You pay it forward to two people, and those two people pay two people. Pay it to those another two people. So you get another four, you got six, and then eight and six. It goes on and on really quickly, doesn't it? Exponentially, I think they call it. And, what a wonderful thing to do. It costs you nothing. You got nothing in return. Well, here's a kicker with that. The, law of reciprocity. Reciprocation, that's the thing. That's a kicker now, because when you're kind and you have this selfless service and you just go about your business, being kind, lending an earth selfless service, doing things for others for no one in return. The law of reciprocity comes and dollops and dumps a wonderful, great kite feeling on you. And you just get things back in return that you didn't really want, but you get it anyway, and they're all good stuff. Synchronicity seems to come along and go, here's something nice. Well, that's a coincidence, because there's another thing over here which is nice. Oh, I just seem to get lucky. I just feel good most of my days. And, even when problems come, some people come and help me. Maybe that's what happens. So even if you do it for no want of return. And that's what we do for selfless service. The law of reciprocity comes and dumps good stuff on you anyway. And hopefully this is something that we could all either lean into or learn to do more of. I know I need to practice it more. And the thing is, when you practice this type of thing, you get it in the muscle. And when you get things in the muscle, they become habits. And when you get this muscle memory, this habit of just being kind, isn't that a nice place to be? Now, squeeze that index finger and thumb together. You know that one near your pinky? And as you think about it, have that feeling. Come again, see that symbol, and know that your future, your future days are going to be blessed in kindness. There you go. Now, I, know, I know that maybe seem to be a little bit soppy or heard of being a little bit soppy, and I am a little bit soppy sometimes, but I think it's worth taking that effort because it just works. Take the effort to be kind. I know they say I've got to practice it more and more and get it in my muscle, but that change in me cost me nothing too, and creates so much more value. That change in you costs nothing and will create so much value in your world.     Paul Clough: Practice makes perfect, so practice makes muscle memory   Now, what did I want you to feel through listening to all this? Ideally, in my mind, I wanted to just create some thoughts, allow you to be thoughtful, maybe. And, as that seems to just go inside, you'd start to take action now, you might say, and I know you are, you're such a kind person. But we could always be a little bit more kindly, can't we? So it's practicing, because practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent that, muscle memory. And the more we practice this wonderful act of kindness, a little bit of soppiness now and again, I think it just gives us a real foundation of becoming that person we really want to be in the world, becoming the change we want to see in ourselves and others. And we go back to that ecological check. Is it good for me? Yeah, absolutely. Because it costs me nothing. I get that really good feeling. Is it good for others? Yeah, because I'm helping others, helping, the world, hoping little old planet work earth, just by being kind, by selfless service. So, going back to the end, how much does it cost? Well, it costs bugger all, doesn't it? So there you go, soppy Cloughie. Hope I've got you thinking. It got me thinking about this because I used to say things like, let's have selfless service. And it always got to me a little bit, a little bit glib, a little bit by rote, the thing that people say. And, we have to think about it, what it really is and how can I really do it. And there's not a lot to do, is there? You don't have to plan it, you don't have to have all these things in place. No, you just do it. You be it doing. And, being this wonderful person that you are, I've built you up so much now. That's enough. It's enough. Come on, let's get on. I hope you enjoyed that. It's a different type of, longer podcast, a longer episode. Maybe you want more. Maybe there's other things you'd like me to discuss. If there is, you know what I always say, please email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged.com do that comes to me and I'll answer you and we'll see if we can get things going with another episode or a process. I love creating processes or developing existing ones to match your needs. So, if you do that, that would be kind. Wouldn't cost you anything to email me, would it? A little bit of time and then we could help others doing the same thing. What else would be kind? Well, you know, doesn't cost much to share, does it? That would be kind, sharing this podcast. That would be nice. And if you did, because, and you don't have to share it, you can share it physically by pressing that share button, but just by talking about it, talk about what you knew, what you know, what you've learnt, maybe what you've been reminded of. Because this is like a big reminder to me. Cloughie. Get yourself in gear. You know what to do. Let's get going. Let's start doing it and be kind to yourself. Good place to start. I think that's about it. I know you've pressed that bloody subscribe button. You have, haven't you? Because that would make a big difference. It really would. So I'm going to be kind to you. In as much as I'm going to stop talking, I'm going to stop talking. Let's get on and, and let's give some selfless service to anyone who needs it and especially yourself. Okay? So until the next time, my friend, you go fly. M.   Warning you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged. Personal development [Unplugged] [podcast][NLP][Hypnosis][self development]self improvement][awareness]

How to Deal with Being Attacked: Part Two Welcome back to the second part of our series on handling verbal attacks. In this episode, we dive into a powerful yet simple process that can be done in minutes to help you respond to triggers more harmoniously. This technique, known as the Swish Pattern from NLP, will transform how you react to those triggering moments, making you calmer and more collected. In this episode, you'll learn:   How to identify the visual or auditory triggers that set you off. The steps to use the Swish Pattern to replace negative reactions with positive ones. How to practice this technique to make it a natural response in your daily life.   Follow along and practice with me, and soon you'll find yourself reacting in a way that is healthier and more beneficial for you and those around you. Please share this episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/395-how-to-deal-with-being-attacked-part-2 Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough: It's all about protecting yourself. In simplicity there is genius   Here's your heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about protecting yourself. We don't want to get hurt, huh? We don't want to feel guilty. Our unconscious mind is going to protect us from all things and we get triggered to fight back. And what does it do? We feel hurt. we feel guilty. It's not appropriate. I've got two processes here which will help you change that triggered reaction of defending yourself and protecting yourself at all costs. And it's so much better. Have a dive into this. You'll really enjoy, I'm sure. Okay, have a listen after the next 10 seconds. This is personal development unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity there is genius.     This episode is just with one process and it's so, so good   Okay, so as usual, I've been accused of putting too much into one episode and it being overwhelming. And because there are, two processes here, I've decided to split this episode into two. So we've got part one and part two. The second part will include a second process, and then you've got time to practice the first one, see how it works. Part of your, another part of your toolbox. And then in the next episode or the next part two, you'll have another process that you could do as well. You may choose one, you may choose another, or you can use either or both. That'll be real fun. So this episode is just with that one process and it's so, so good. And then I won't keep you hanging because shortly afterwards I'll issue the next episode, part two and we'll go into that second episode. Okay? So really enjoy and make a difference. Make a difference. The difference. That makes a difference.     Cloughie talks about how to deal with being attacked   So here we go. Hey, friend. Another, I don't know how long it'll be. A bit of a muse, a bit of a little honesty thing going here or talking about me a little bit maybe, I don't know. But it's all about how to deal with being attacked. You see it like boxing rings. They say, protect yourself at all times. And I think that's what our unconscious mind does, protects ourselves at, all times. Have you ever had this experience? You're going about your day, oblivious of what is happening around you. You're just getting on with stuff. And then you hear that voice in the background. Did you forget to do so and so? Why do you do that? Oh, look at this. And you think, is that a comment? No, you don't think that at all. You think that's an accusation, that's an attack. Someone's attacking me for stuff. And, I'm gonna hit back with a couple of randoms of my own. Yeah, well, and you and this. And what about. Ow. Have you had that before? When you see things and all of a sudden you snap, you're triggered, you fire. And it is that, not, what's that thing where you have to look, aim, fire. Or is it. Was it a steady aim, fire. Steady aim, fire. But this is, this is fire, fire, fire. Oh, there's no aim, is there? And there's certainly no steady. Already ready. whatever that is, whatever it is, there's none of those other two. It's just firing randomly. First of all, I have to ask a question and I ask this of myself. How's that working for you? Cloughie, and you go, well, I did fight back and I didn't get hurt, huh? Yes, you did, because it wasn't nice, was it? It wasn't nice because things spiral out of control, don't they? You know, you get tone of voice sometimes, okay? That tone of voice is saying something about me, about what I've done, about what I haven't done. Or it's that look. Whoa. Oi. Don't look at me like that. I haven't done anything. Attack back. Attack back. So you always got to remember that line I started with. Remember, defend yourself at, all times. Sometimes it's like that. Hit first, don't wait. And then guess what happens now, have you been here where you. Someone says something. When you look back at it now, pretty innocuous. It's pretty, it's about something very, very mundane. Maybe, you left something on the side or you didn't quite do that, you forgot to do something. It isn't a big deal when you look back now, but at the time, it was an attack. It wasn't a front on you personally. And that argument, because you hit back to protect yourself, to give you that defence, and you carried on hitting back to make sure you never got hit, that argument spiraled to m all parts of the globe, you know? And if you think about. If you took each one of those individually, you'd notice that had nothing to do with it. It wasn't anything to do with that comment in any way, shape or form.     Your unconscious mind has to protect you in all ways, shapes or forms   Now, have you had that situation or is that just me? I hope it's not just me. Well, I do hope it's just me, but I know it isn't. I think I've seen it so many times and I've been in it so many bloody times. This is one of my pet things that I work on. And I know why and I know how. And I. You know, when I say I know why I don't want to. It's not the why that I get up with some limiting belief of, People have always attacked me. I've got to look after myself. I can't do this. I can't do that. Just in case there's a positive intention. That's the why you've got a best friend inside your unconscious mind that has to protect you in all ways, shapes or forms. Doesn't want to get you hurt. Doesn't want you have that feeling of guilt, maybe. And it uses all forms of defenses. But the thing is, as an intention, what a wonderful thing to have your best friend looking. Has got your back, hasn't it? Got your back, front, sides, up and down. Protecting you every moment of the day. And that's so honourable. And I like to honour my best friend. I like to honour your best friend, your unconscious mind for doing what it's doing. Trying its best to look after us, look after you, look after me. But the thing is, that behavior now is no longer appropriate. Because if you think about it, if someone says something, were they really trying to attack you? Really, honestly, truly? Come on. It was a stupid thing to do, Stu. But you try to defend yourself. But the thing is, it. This is so totally inappropriate. I'm, going to tell you how we're going to get out of that. And how you're going to check for that. But you see, what happens is there's a thing called the communication model in NLP. And it's how we communicate. Or how we filter the outside world to our inside world. How we perceive reality as it were. And, make it our reality of a reality out there. Because each of us, as we look at an event that's happening will have a different connotation, a different view, literally a different view of that event going on. Because what happens is we see that event through. And, we filter it through all our. All our senses, our sight, our hearing, our feelings, smell and taste. We also filter it through deletions, distortions and generalizations. In order to make sense of that reality outside. Because there's so much information bombarding us. And we have to filter it out. Because if not, we'd go pop. And there's also our attitudes and our experiences, values and beliefs. And you see, if you have got experiences in the past where you have been hurt, maybe you have been made to feel guilty. No, I'll change that. Where you chose to feel guilty, it's different. No one makes you feel anything. You choose. That's a hard one to accept sometimes because you've heard it before. You made me do that. And when you say very directly now, you chose to feel that way. That hurts sometimes because it's true. And then we fight back against that. But if we've had experiences of the past where we've chosen to feel hurt and we've chosen to feel guilty and things like that, then it's like an anchor. And, our unconscious mind goes, I know how to defend against this. Fight back. And it worked. Maybe a long time ago when you was a ickle lickle person, your unconscious mind, with very little wisdom, very little experience in the world, fought back. Maybe you just said something nasty and the other person just went away. And your unconscious mind goes, ah, that stops me feeling guilty. That stops me, you know, getting hurt. And it does it more and more. And it even looks for sounds. The look, as I said, the sound of a voice might trigger that response. The look of someone's face may trigger that defunct, might trigger that response. And you get defensive straight away before someone's even said anything. That look makes you defensive. Have you had that before? And I think, as we say, thank you to our unconscious mind for doing this. But hey ho, think about this, mister, and misses unconscious mind. It's no longer, it's no longer inapp, it's no longer appropriate. These are inappropriate responses. There are so many better ways. And I believe when we show our unconscious mind that there are better ways, it has to, without shadow of a doubt, 100%. It has to choose a better way. Why wouldn't it? If it's, if it is geared up, to protect you, that's its role. To keep you safe, to protect you and keep you healthy. How can it choose something that's less than the alternative? It can't, can it? But what we have to do is, first of all, honour that intention so we don't just beat ourselves up. I got a lovely story about that. And this morning, I decided I would give myself a good old beating up. In my journal, I'm going to talk about on a five minute quickie. Because it made me. It's like beating myself up and making myself laugh at the same time.     Sometimes we speak harshly to our best friend inside   And I did. I really tore into myself. I think I'll do that on a five minute quickie. And you can see everything. But the thing is that sometimes we even speak to our best friend inside so much more harshly than we would a best friend outside. We'd actually say thank you. Thank you for helping me, thank you for trying to find a better way, but we'll do that. And then I'm going to show you in a moment a couple of processes, how we can just guide our unconscious mind to find better ways.     I'd suggest that you go to one to one therapy   Now, before we go into those processes, what I'd like to say is, if this is really getting on your nerves, if this is something that is happening over and over again, and it is making your relationships really bad, it's making your life feel, hurt and guilty, because that's a conflict, isn't it? That's a massive direct conflict. I'm going to protect you as your unconscious mind from being hurt and guilty. You have one of those stupid bloody arguments that spiral out of control. You get passive aggressive, they get passive aggressive, you both pee off into different directions for a day or two. And in all that time, I protected you from feeling hurt and guilty. And what do you do? You feel hurt and guilty all that time until you go and make up. And sometimes I've seen it in some family situations and that there is no makeup. That's it forever. And, what a waste that is through this. So if it is something that is maybe you feel getting slightly out of control, what I'm going to share with you will help. But I'd also suggest that you go to one to one therapy. Now, there's a lot of adverts on, on the Internet about therapy. I have some real issues with that because I don't know, understand how you do therapy by text. I mean, that is crazy. Have you ever tried to understand anybody on a text? The emotion doesn't come through, does it? No, it's absolutely b's, I think. I believe. I find it difficult to do on the phone because you can't see facial expressions because people can say things. And, you know, if you were looking at them, that's not quite what they meant. They have unconscious communication. Their unconscious mind is saying one thing and their conscious mind is saying something else. And that's where the conflict is. You can't see that over telephone. So I like one to one, you can do it online, like with, to see your therapist and let them to see you. Ideally one to one in the same room so they are with you, so they can see the whole of your body, the whole body language. I don't like body language, but the whole unconscious communication, and they can jump in there and then. Now, if that's the thing, do look for this one I prefer, I would suggest, I'd recommend is find someone who's a master hypnotist. And in that role of a master hypnotist, they also have maybe certainly a practitioner of NLP. But I'd like to see a master practical of NLP. I'd also like to see a master prac or master practitioner of timeline therapy. You put those three together, you have got someone who's got some absolutely awesome skills. And also because I know the way they've been trained, they will look to make this the change in you and you to change in you. they won't do it for you. You will change with their guidance, their help, but you'll do it quickly, you'll do it easily and you'll do it effortlessly. It does not have to be hurtful, it does not have to be painful. You don't have to keep going back to old experiences. You don't. You get your unconscious mind to learn anyway. That's another subject. If you look back to what to expect, I think it's, I don't know, I did it in a five minute quickie or something like that a long time ago. And I think it's called what to expect in a therapist, something like that. Search for that, tell you all about it. And if you go to one to one therapy, you will really hammer at home. and what I'm going to share with you now will also help. Cannot do any harm at m all on that. So there, that's my advice. If that is really peeing you off and you think this is, you know, really creating a relationship that's going to maybe no longer be a relationship and that would be such a shame, get your therapy in. But here's the thing, let's go on to these processes are, ah, you with me for that? Because this will work on all sorts of responses you have, the things you're triggered about. So now what we can do is, well, we have to learn from past events, because if we don't learn from past events, then our unconscious mind carries on doing that same inappropriate response, one of an intention, and we're never going to change that intention because I want that your best friend to keep the intention from you getting hurt, huh? From feeling guilty, from feeling anything negative, only want positive things for you, safety for you comfortable. Feeling comfortable is the wonderful, safest place you could be in my mind. So here's what you could do. You can just reflect on, say there was that silly argument that got out of control. So we can reflect on it. But the way to reflect on it is not to go back into it. Because if you go back into it and see through your own eyes what you saw, then hear what you heard then. So you're seeing the look on the face, you're hearing that, you're hearing the tone of the voice, and you're getting those feelings, and you're hearing those words and you're getting those old feelings again. You're back to where you were again. And you can't learn, you can't read the label from inside the bottle or the jar. You know that. So we're going to dissociate for a little while because that's a lovely filter. Because when we dissociate, we can see things from a dispassionate perspective. It's literally seeing the whole thing without the emotion. And without that emotion, we can then learn and decide of different ways. So you could just imagine a movie in front of you of that memory, and the memory will never be the same, but it doesn't matter because we're going to do something really good. You run through that memory and just let it run through in your mind over there on that movie screen. And you're seeing yourself, by the way, in that movie. So you're watching yourself and the other person, maybe you're on the phone or whatever it is, but you're just, you're seeing a picture, a movie of yourself from over here. You can see yourself over there. That's called dissociation. And you just watch it go through. And your unconscious mind can do this quite quickly. So if it was a, it went on for half an hour, you're not going to watch it for half an hour. You could just get some snippets of it. Because your unconscious mind can relive a memory in seconds. And then what we're going to say to our unconscious mind is, let's just cut out the crap. Sorry about that, but let's just. The fluff. Let's call it the fluff. I said that because sometimes it's emotional, but let's take out all the fluff. The things that people said, the things that you may have said which were totally irrelevant to what was the aim of that first comment. And you take that away and you then replay that movie with just, I call it the facts, the truth, none of the stuff you made up, and you filter through your experiences. Let's just have the truth. They said this, and this is what happened. So maybe you were late and they accused you of oh, you're late. So you don't respect me anymore? And you go, oh, don't you have a go at me? I respect, what about you? The last time you, now you go, okay, let's take the fluff all out of that. What actually happened? I had agreed to be back on a particular time and I didn't. I did turn up late.     Steve: Imagine your unconscious mind looking at different ways of dealing with situations   And what they said was true. That's it. They're the facts. I had agreed to do something and I didn't do what I agreed. And they have just pointed that out to me now. They're the facts. That's what really is the nub of all of this. So how can I learn to do that better? And if you imagine another movie screen beside that one, you say, well, let's play a movie of how I could have reacted differently. And it could be that I see myself going in and someone saying, oh, you're late. You don't respect me. And you go, look, I'm really sorry. I respect you immensely and I have maybe done it wrong. I was actually trying to do something else and I forgot and it's totally my fault and I apologize profusely. And m they might say something else. I don't know. I apologize. I'm really sorry. I'm going to do my best to never let that happen again. That might be way, that might be a way another one could be. They say, you're late, you don't respect me. And you say, I respect you so much that I had to deal with something. And in my head I knew if I didn't deal with it when I come and saw you and be with you, I couldn't give you my full attention. Now I, know I should have let you know and I didn't, and that's my bad. Notice what reaction you would get and you can run through a few of these and you get your unconscious mind and go, you know, I can do this consciously, like I did those two. What would you do? Unconscious mind in a different way. Knowing I've got so many other skills, I've learned so many different things, I have positive experiences. How could I could have just rung earlier and said, I'm really sorry, I'm going to be late. I have an issue. Is that, okay? Explain the issue. Hey, that would work. They go, okay, thank you so much for letting me know. Now I can go do something and I'll be back later. Oh, now I've got three alternatives and, what I like to do is in front of those alternatives I like to imagine me, another me, looking at those screens of a me doing all that stuff. So it's got. So that me in front of me is looking at those three screens, as it were. And I want that me out there to go, what else could I do? As if I was looking into the future and making sure that I've got all different, different ways of, ah, approaching that similar event in the future. And, because it's doing that, my unconscious mind is actually me over there doing that for me. And, when it does that more and more, it actually feels it's actually happening in the real world. It cannot tell the difference between reality, what's happening in the now, and, what's happening in your mind. And so we've done it. And you say to yourself, which one of those would have had a better result? Which one of those would have stopped me feeling and, protected me from hurt? Which one of those would protect me from feeling guilty? Ah, And then you just go, sorry, just say this or something better. And imagine your unconscious mind going through all your experiences, all your skills to work, to, have a repertoire, to have, like a recipe. And if you want, you know, maybe it doesn't work straight away. Maybe you have to take one or two times to do this. Sometimes it works absolutely straight away, but something happens. And so as soon as you can just replay it, you might find halfway through, you're triggered, and, halfway through you go, actually, can we just stop? And you then go into one of those processes, one of those reactions, one of those ways of dealing with that situation. And then, you know, you're learning. You know, you're doing the stuff. So that's a wonderful. That process, by the way, that's like a process of responding to criticism. And that process was created by a wonderful man, a, wonderful man called Steve Andreas. He's no longer in this, this world now, unfortunately, he's gone to the multiverse, universe, heaven, wherever you want to go, whatever you want to think. And I love that process. I love all the work that he did. So if you're interested in NLP, do look for works by Steve Andreas.     Paul Clough: Please do give this process a real go play with it   Okay, so that's where we're going to split this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Please do give that process a real go play with it. Because when you set your intention and have that childlike quality of play, curiosity, you will make this so good. You'll find out new ways and your unconscious mind will take them on, because that's what your unconscious mind does. It finds when you find better ways, it has to take them on because it knows your comfort is where safety is. And the more comfortable you are in responding to other people's communication, because that's all we're doing. We're using all our skills and enjoying life, dealing with things that come, come and maybe side blind us, if that's the right word, I don't know. But that's what we're going to do. So I'm not going to leave you hanging. As I said, I will issue the next part, part two in the next few days. So keep an eye out for that and we'll just move around an FMq instead. Okay. And so have fun. Let me know if you want to let me know of how it worked or if it was, maybe it was a little bit confusing. I hope it wasn't. But if there was any confusion, please do let me know by email. Feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged. Let me know. Or maybe there's a scenario that you think, would this work or won't it work? Ask me the question. I'll either adapt it, give you an idea, or maybe there's another process that's even more applicable, more appropriate. So there's my offer to you to come and test me. And, let's see where we can go. So, my friend, have more fun than you can stand. Go fly and I'll see you here, or you'll hear from me in the next few days. Okay. With part two and another super, process. Okay, bye bye now. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

How To Deal With Being Attacked Part 1 Protecting Yourself from Triggered Reactions In this episode, we dive into the mechanisms our unconscious mind uses to protect us from feeling hurt or guilty. Often, these protective reactions are triggered and lead to unnecessary conflict. I'll introduce two powerful processes to help you change these triggered reactions and respond more appropriately. This episode is split into two parts to give you time to practice the first process before moving on to the second. In part one, you'll learn a method to reflect on past conflicts and discover better ways to respond, helping you build a more effective toolbox for personal development. In this first part I dive into the what and the why and all things south and end up with one process that really can have a huge impact on resolving this issue. The process is all about training your unconscious mind to hear and see what's really happening and responding in the the most appropriate way and not just straight int Fight mode. By understanding and honoring the positive intentions of your unconscious mind, you can guide it to choose better ways to protect you, leading to more harmonious relationships and a more comfortable life. Listen in and start making a difference in how you handle conflicts and protect yourself in a healthier way. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/protecting-yourself-from-triggered-reactions-part-1   Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough: It's all about protecting yourself. In simplicity there is genius   Here's your heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about protecting yourself. We don't want to get hurt, huh? We don't want to feel guilty. Our unconscious mind is going to protect us from all things and we get triggered to fight back. And what does it do? We feel hurt. we feel guilty. It's not appropriate. I've got two processes here which will help you change that triggered reaction of defending yourself and protecting yourself at all costs. And it's so much better. Have a dive into this. You'll really enjoy, I'm sure. Okay, have a listen after the next 10 seconds. This is personal development unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity there is genius.     This episode is just with one process and it's so, so good   Okay, so as usual, I've been accused of putting too much into one episode and it being overwhelming. And because there are, two processes here, I've decided to split this episode into two. So we've got part one and part two. The second part will include a second process, and then you've got time to practice the first one, see how it works. Part of your, another part of your toolbox. And then in the next episode or the next part two, you'll have another process that you could do as well. You may choose one, you may choose another, or you can use either or both. That'll be real fun. So this episode is just with that one process and it's so, so good. And then I won't keep you hanging because shortly afterwards I'll issue the next episode, part two and we'll go into that second episode. Okay? So really enjoy and make a difference. Make a difference. The difference. That makes a difference.     Cloughie talks about how to deal with being attacked   So here we go. Hey, friend. Another, I don't know how long it'll be. A bit of a muse, a bit of a little honesty thing going here or talking about me a little bit maybe, I don't know. But it's all about how to deal with being attacked. You see it like boxing rings. They say, protect yourself at all times. And I think that's what our unconscious mind does, protects ourselves at, all times. Have you ever had this experience? You're going about your day, oblivious of what is happening around you. You're just getting on with stuff. And then you hear that voice in the background. Did you forget to do so and so? Why do you do that? Oh, look at this. And you think, is that a comment? No, you don't think that at all. You think that's an accusation, that's an attack. Someone's attacking me for stuff. And, I'm gonna hit back with a couple of randoms of my own. Yeah, well, and you and this. And what about. Ow. Have you had that before? When you see things and all of a sudden you snap, you're triggered, you fire. And it is that, not, what's that thing where you have to look, aim, fire. Or is it. Was it a steady aim, fire. Steady aim, fire. But this is, this is fire, fire, fire. Oh, there's no aim, is there? And there's certainly no steady. Already ready. whatever that is, whatever it is, there's none of those other two. It's just firing randomly. First of all, I have to ask a question and I ask this of myself. How's that working for you? Cloughie, and you go, well, I did fight back and I didn't get hurt, huh? Yes, you did, because it wasn't nice, was it? It wasn't nice because things spiral out of control, don't they? You know, you get tone of voice sometimes, okay? That tone of voice is saying something about me, about what I've done, about what I haven't done. Or it's that look. Whoa. Oi. Don't look at me like that. I haven't done anything. Attack back. Attack back. So you always got to remember that line I started with. Remember, defend yourself at, all times. Sometimes it's like that. Hit first, don't wait. And then guess what happens now, have you been here where you. Someone says something. When you look back at it now, pretty innocuous. It's pretty, it's about something very, very mundane. Maybe, you left something on the side or you didn't quite do that, you forgot to do something. It isn't a big deal when you look back now, but at the time, it was an attack. It wasn't a front on you personally. And that argument, because you hit back to protect yourself, to give you that defence, and you carried on hitting back to make sure you never got hit, that argument spiraled to m all parts of the globe, you know? And if you think about. If you took each one of those individually, you'd notice that had nothing to do with it. It wasn't anything to do with that comment in any way, shape or form.     Your unconscious mind has to protect you in all ways, shapes or forms   Now, have you had that situation or is that just me? I hope it's not just me. Well, I do hope it's just me, but I know it isn't. I think I've seen it so many times and I've been in it so many bloody times. This is one of my pet things that I work on. And I know why and I know how. And I. You know, when I say I know why I don't want to. It's not the why that I get up with some limiting belief of, People have always attacked me. I've got to look after myself. I can't do this. I can't do that. Just in case there's a positive intention. That's the why you've got a best friend inside your unconscious mind that has to protect you in all ways, shapes or forms. Doesn't want to get you hurt. Doesn't want you have that feeling of guilt, maybe. And it uses all forms of defenses. But the thing is, as an intention, what a wonderful thing to have your best friend looking. Has got your back, hasn't it? Got your back, front, sides, up and down. Protecting you every moment of the day. And that's so honourable. And I like to honour my best friend. I like to honour your best friend, your unconscious mind for doing what it's doing. Trying its best to look after us, look after you, look after me. But the thing is, that behavior now is no longer appropriate. Because if you think about it, if someone says something, were they really trying to attack you? Really, honestly, truly? Come on. It was a stupid thing to do, Stu. But you try to defend yourself. But the thing is, it. This is so totally inappropriate. I'm, going to tell you how we're going to get out of that. And how you're going to check for that. But you see, what happens is there's a thing called the communication model in NLP. And it's how we communicate. Or how we filter the outside world to our inside world. How we perceive reality as it were. And, make it our reality of a reality out there. Because each of us, as we look at an event that's happening will have a different connotation, a different view, literally a different view of that event going on. Because what happens is we see that event through. And, we filter it through all our. All our senses, our sight, our hearing, our feelings, smell and taste. We also filter it through deletions, distortions and generalizations. In order to make sense of that reality outside. Because there's so much information bombarding us. And we have to filter it out. Because if not, we'd go pop. And there's also our attitudes and our experiences, values and beliefs. And you see, if you have got experiences in the past where you have been hurt, maybe you have been made to feel guilty. No, I'll change that. Where you chose to feel guilty, it's different. No one makes you feel anything. You choose. That's a hard one to accept sometimes because you've heard it before. You made me do that. And when you say very directly now, you chose to feel that way. That hurts sometimes because it's true. And then we fight back against that. But if we've had experiences of the past where we've chosen to feel hurt and we've chosen to feel guilty and things like that, then it's like an anchor. And, our unconscious mind goes, I know how to defend against this. Fight back. And it worked. Maybe a long time ago when you was a ickle lickle person, your unconscious mind, with very little wisdom, very little experience in the world, fought back. Maybe you just said something nasty and the other person just went away. And your unconscious mind goes, ah, that stops me feeling guilty. That stops me, you know, getting hurt. And it does it more and more. And it even looks for sounds. The look, as I said, the sound of a voice might trigger that response. The look of someone's face may trigger that defunct, might trigger that response. And you get defensive straight away before someone's even said anything. That look makes you defensive. Have you had that before? And I think, as we say, thank you to our unconscious mind for doing this. But hey ho, think about this, mister, and misses unconscious mind. It's no longer, it's no longer inapp, it's no longer appropriate. These are inappropriate responses. There are so many better ways. And I believe when we show our unconscious mind that there are better ways, it has to, without shadow of a doubt, 100%. It has to choose a better way. Why wouldn't it? If it's, if it is geared up, to protect you, that's its role. To keep you safe, to protect you and keep you healthy. How can it choose something that's less than the alternative? It can't, can it? But what we have to do is, first of all, honour that intention so we don't just beat ourselves up. I got a lovely story about that. And this morning, I decided I would give myself a good old beating up. In my journal, I'm going to talk about on a five minute quickie. Because it made me. It's like beating myself up and making myself laugh at the same time.     Sometimes we speak harshly to our best friend inside   And I did. I really tore into myself. I think I'll do that on a five minute quickie. And you can see everything. But the thing is that sometimes we even speak to our best friend inside so much more harshly than we would a best friend outside. We'd actually say thank you. Thank you for helping me, thank you for trying to find a better way, but we'll do that. And then I'm going to show you in a moment a couple of processes, how we can just guide our unconscious mind to find better ways.     I'd suggest that you go to one to one therapy   Now, before we go into those processes, what I'd like to say is, if this is really getting on your nerves, if this is something that is happening over and over again, and it is making your relationships really bad, it's making your life feel, hurt and guilty, because that's a conflict, isn't it? That's a massive direct conflict. I'm going to protect you as your unconscious mind from being hurt and guilty. You have one of those stupid bloody arguments that spiral out of control. You get passive aggressive, they get passive aggressive, you both pee off into different directions for a day or two. And in all that time, I protected you from feeling hurt and guilty. And what do you do? You feel hurt and guilty all that time until you go and make up. And sometimes I've seen it in some family situations and that there is no makeup. That's it forever. And, what a waste that is through this. So if it is something that is maybe you feel getting slightly out of control, what I'm going to share with you will help. But I'd also suggest that you go to one to one therapy. Now, there's a lot of adverts on, on the Internet about therapy. I have some real issues with that because I don't know, understand how you do therapy by text. I mean, that is crazy. Have you ever tried to understand anybody on a text? The emotion doesn't come through, does it? No, it's absolutely b's, I think. I believe. I find it difficult to do on the phone because you can't see facial expressions because people can say things. And, you know, if you were looking at them, that's not quite what they meant. They have unconscious communication. Their unconscious mind is saying one thing and their conscious mind is saying something else. And that's where the conflict is. You can't see that over telephone. So I like one to one, you can do it online, like with, to see your therapist and let them to see you. Ideally one to one in the same room so they are with you, so they can see the whole of your body, the whole body language. I don't like body language, but the whole unconscious communication, and they can jump in there and then. Now, if that's the thing, do look for this one I prefer, I would suggest, I'd recommend is find someone who's a master hypnotist. And in that role of a master hypnotist, they also have maybe certainly a practitioner of NLP. But I'd like to see a master practical of NLP. I'd also like to see a master prac or master practitioner of timeline therapy. You put those three together, you have got someone who's got some absolutely awesome skills. And also because I know the way they've been trained, they will look to make this the change in you and you to change in you. they won't do it for you. You will change with their guidance, their help, but you'll do it quickly, you'll do it easily and you'll do it effortlessly. It does not have to be hurtful, it does not have to be painful. You don't have to keep going back to old experiences. You don't. You get your unconscious mind to learn anyway. That's another subject. If you look back to what to expect, I think it's, I don't know, I did it in a five minute quickie or something like that a long time ago. And I think it's called what to expect in a therapist, something like that. Search for that, tell you all about it. And if you go to one to one therapy, you will really hammer at home. and what I'm going to share with you now will also help. Cannot do any harm at m all on that. So there, that's my advice. If that is really peeing you off and you think this is, you know, really creating a relationship that's going to maybe no longer be a relationship and that would be such a shame, get your therapy in. But here's the thing, let's go on to these processes are, ah, you with me for that? Because this will work on all sorts of responses you have, the things you're triggered about. So now what we can do is, well, we have to learn from past events, because if we don't learn from past events, then our unconscious mind carries on doing that same inappropriate response, one of an intention, and we're never going to change that intention because I want that your best friend to keep the intention from you getting hurt, huh? From feeling guilty, from feeling anything negative, only want positive things for you, safety for you comfortable. Feeling comfortable is the wonderful, safest place you could be in my mind. So here's what you could do. You can just reflect on, say there was that silly argument that got out of control. So we can reflect on it. But the way to reflect on it is not to go back into it. Because if you go back into it and see through your own eyes what you saw, then hear what you heard then. So you're seeing the look on the face, you're hearing that, you're hearing the tone of the voice, and you're getting those feelings, and you're hearing those words and you're getting those old feelings again. You're back to where you were again. And you can't learn, you can't read the label from inside the bottle or the jar. You know that. So we're going to dissociate for a little while because that's a lovely filter. Because when we dissociate, we can see things from a dispassionate perspective. It's literally seeing the whole thing without the emotion. And without that emotion, we can then learn and decide of different ways. So you could just imagine a movie in front of you of that memory, and the memory will never be the same, but it doesn't matter because we're going to do something really good. You run through that memory and just let it run through in your mind over there on that movie screen. And you're seeing yourself, by the way, in that movie. So you're watching yourself and the other person, maybe you're on the phone or whatever it is, but you're just, you're seeing a picture, a movie of yourself from over here. You can see yourself over there. That's called dissociation. And you just watch it go through. And your unconscious mind can do this quite quickly. So if it was a, it went on for half an hour, you're not going to watch it for half an hour. You could just get some snippets of it. Because your unconscious mind can relive a memory in seconds. And then what we're going to say to our unconscious mind is, let's just cut out the crap. Sorry about that, but let's just. The fluff. Let's call it the fluff. I said that because sometimes it's emotional, but let's take out all the fluff. The things that people said, the things that you may have said which were totally irrelevant to what was the aim of that first comment. And you take that away and you then replay that movie with just, I call it the facts, the truth, none of the stuff you made up, and you filter through your experiences. Let's just have the truth. They said this, and this is what happened. So maybe you were late and they accused you of oh, you're late. So you don't respect me anymore? And you go, oh, don't you have a go at me? I respect, what about you? The last time you, now you go, okay, let's take the fluff all out of that. What actually happened? I had agreed to be back on a particular time and I didn't. I did turn up late.     Steve: Imagine your unconscious mind looking at different ways of dealing with situations   And what they said was true. That's it. They're the facts. I had agreed to do something and I didn't do what I agreed. And they have just pointed that out to me now. They're the facts. That's what really is the nub of all of this. So how can I learn to do that better? And if you imagine another movie screen beside that one, you say, well, let's play a movie of how I could have reacted differently. And it could be that I see myself going in and someone saying, oh, you're late. You don't respect me. And you go, look, I'm really sorry. I respect you immensely and I have maybe done it wrong. I was actually trying to do something else and I forgot and it's totally my fault and I apologize profusely. And m they might say something else. I don't know. I apologize. I'm really sorry. I'm going to do my best to never let that happen again. That might be way, that might be a way another one could be. They say, you're late, you don't respect me. And you say, I respect you so much that I had to deal with something. And in my head I knew if I didn't deal with it when I come and saw you and be with you, I couldn't give you my full attention. Now I, know I should have let you know and I didn't, and that's my bad. Notice what reaction you would get and you can run through a few of these and you get your unconscious mind and go, you know, I can do this consciously, like I did those two. What would you do? Unconscious mind in a different way. Knowing I've got so many other skills, I've learned so many different things, I have positive experiences. How could I could have just rung earlier and said, I'm really sorry, I'm going to be late. I have an issue. Is that, okay? Explain the issue. Hey, that would work. They go, okay, thank you so much for letting me know. Now I can go do something and I'll be back later. Oh, now I've got three alternatives and, what I like to do is in front of those alternatives I like to imagine me, another me, looking at those screens of a me doing all that stuff. So it's got. So that me in front of me is looking at those three screens, as it were. And I want that me out there to go, what else could I do? As if I was looking into the future and making sure that I've got all different, different ways of, ah, approaching that similar event in the future. And, because it's doing that, my unconscious mind is actually me over there doing that for me. And, when it does that more and more, it actually feels it's actually happening in the real world. It cannot tell the difference between reality, what's happening in the now, and, what's happening in your mind. And so we've done it. And you say to yourself, which one of those would have had a better result? Which one of those would have stopped me feeling and, protected me from hurt? Which one of those would protect me from feeling guilty? Ah, And then you just go, sorry, just say this or something better. And imagine your unconscious mind going through all your experiences, all your skills to work, to, have a repertoire, to have, like a recipe. And if you want, you know, maybe it doesn't work straight away. Maybe you have to take one or two times to do this. Sometimes it works absolutely straight away, but something happens. And so as soon as you can just replay it, you might find halfway through, you're triggered, and, halfway through you go, actually, can we just stop? And you then go into one of those processes, one of those reactions, one of those ways of dealing with that situation. And then, you know, you're learning. You know, you're doing the stuff. So that's a wonderful. That process, by the way, that's like a process of responding to criticism. And that process was created by a wonderful man, a, wonderful man called Steve Andreas. He's no longer in this, this world now, unfortunately, he's gone to the multiverse, universe, heaven, wherever you want to go, whatever you want to think. And I love that process. I love all the work that he did. So if you're interested in NLP, do look for works by Steve Andreas.     Paul Clough: Please do give this process a real go play with it   Okay, so that's where we're going to split this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. Please do give that process a real go play with it. Because when you set your intention and have that childlike quality of play, curiosity, you will make this so good. You'll find out new ways and your unconscious mind will take them on, because that's what your unconscious mind does. It finds when you find better ways, it has to take them on because it knows your comfort is where safety is. And the more comfortable you are in responding to other people's communication, because that's all we're doing. We're using all our skills and enjoying life, dealing with things that come, come and maybe side blind us, if that's the right word, I don't know. But that's what we're going to do. So I'm not going to leave you hanging. As I said, I will issue the next part, part two in the next few days. So keep an eye out for that and we'll just move around an FMq instead. Okay. And so have fun. Let me know if you want to let me know of how it worked or if it was, maybe it was a little bit confusing. I hope it wasn't. But if there was any confusion, please do let me know by email. Feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged. Let me know. Or maybe there's a scenario that you think, would this work or won't it work? Ask me the question. I'll either adapt it, give you an idea, or maybe there's another process that's even more applicable, more appropriate. So there's my offer to you to come and test me. And, let's see where we can go. So, my friend, have more fun than you can stand. Go fly and I'll see you here, or you'll hear from me in the next few days. Okay. With part two and another super, process. Okay, bye bye now. Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Victory Speech and A View From The Balcony This episode is about how to achieve success. Sometimes I hear something and go YES! Someone's using the thing I was also taught because it works. And this episode is developed from listening to master negotiator William Ure and how what he said could be used to create change at the belief, emotional and behavior levels . Writing out a victory speech can help you solve problems, and formulate how you are going to achieve success and looking out from the balcony gives you a different perspective on where you're aiming for. So I've taken these separate thoughts and put them into one process which I thonk you will not only enjoy but find another way to achieve your goals and dreams. I'd love your feed back Please share https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/393-victory-speech-and-a-view-from-the-balcony     Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, the longer podcast again. And what a weird title. A victory speech from the balcony. What the hell does that mean? Cloughie. That's what you're thinking. I know you are. Well, here's the thing. Did you ever listen to someone, hear what they say and, think, yes, yes, that's exactly it. I've been using that. It's like a validation of what you've been taught or what you've learned. And that's what I got. See, I was listening to this podcast, and it was by the guy, a button, or by a guy called get it right Cloughie. William Ure. I think that's how you pronounce his, surname. It's ure. So ure or ure, but William. And he's a chief negotiator, and he's negotiated in every different level you can think of. So political countries, all sorts of things going on at, really, really high levels. And he did this thing he was talking about, instead of trying to look at a problem, like negotiating between two parties and what's a problem? And all the steps that you're going to take to get to the solution, what you want. He said what he used to do was literally write out a victory speech. Now, what a wonderful way to solve a problem. You go to the end, having already got the solution, and you write it down. And why do we write it down? You know why we write it down? Because it goes into your brain in so many different ways. Those neural pathways are going to start firing together, wiring together, because you have to describe it in such a way. We call it vacog. What a weird thing. V a k o g in NLP terms. You describe it visually, you'll see it with your internal representation, your imagination in your mind. So you'll see it whether you see it in 2020, vision or just glimpses, it doesn't matter. You're aware, but you can describe it. You describe what you'll see having got the result you want. So this is your victory speech. You'll describe all the sights, maybe even the pictures in your mind, then the things you'll hear, the auditory side. How will the words sound? How will they resonate with not just yourself but with other people? Because that's the thing about a victory speech, isn't it? It's going to resonate with other people to get them to not only feel it in the words, but be able to see it. And the other thing is, okay, the kinesthetic is the feelings. What will it feel like making this victory speech, having achieved what you want achieved, solve the problem and have the result, the success. There may even be a smell and maybe a taste of success. We call it the taste of success, don't we? The sweet smell of success. And you write that thing out, and it doesn't have to be pages and pages, but you just to go through the process of writing out even bullet points to give you an idea what it would look like, sound like, feel like, smell and taste, having resolved that problem. And then from there, starting from that success is a bit like the end of a hero's journey, coming home, describing what that would be like, noticing all your victories, noticing all the hurdles that you got over, got round, got under, dismantled, negotiated. Because that's the thing. From here you get a glimpse of what you must have had to do to get there. And you see, this is all in the first person, isn't it? This is you looking through your own eyes, giving this victory speech. And that was one thing he said, this is how I teach a team to solve the problem. Let's go to the end. But he also said he likes to go to the balcony. See, when he was having real problems with either getting to that victory speech or looking and, understanding the problem and understanding maybe the views of the opposing fractious people or things in this problem, then he would go to what he would say, the balcony, as if he was looking down at the problem to get a better view. What are we doing? Well, in LLP terms, you're going to third person that metaview. You see when you look down at a problem from up here and you see yourself or, you see the different parties that have the issues, you get to see them with a dissociated view, which means you're unattached, detached, you're unemotional about it and you're seeing it sometimes for what it really is because you're not in it. Because when you're in it, you can't read the label. You're in the bottle, in the jar. You can't read the label. When you're out, though, you can see different things and you get a different perspective on the whole issue. So now you've got that view of the balcony. And maybe here, this is what I thought, maybe you could just see that victory speech from here, too. So you could just see that unemotionally to get another check on it, to get an idea what it's all about. And you might even from here, this dissociated view, this unemotional view, like a director of a movie from just on the outside, this meta view, you maybe ask yourself questions, well, how can I make it even better? Let's imagine what steps I must have made to get here, or what steps I need to make in order to achieve that victory speech. Because there will be like, that hero's journey. There will be things along the way that, are going to trip you up. Maybe some issues you may not have foreseen. Well, if you could see them from here, you mitigate them, you do something about them, or you just have a second 2nd path, maybe then I think that victory speech becomes so much more plausible, so much more firm in your, in your grasp. You can hold it, you can see it, you can feel it, which means you've done it. Then I thought to myself, you see, and I was thinking about this. What wonderful, this was a wonderful description of how to negotiate two frictions to, two sides in opposition. Yes, I know, really, when you've got two sides, you really need to find their intention, an intention they can agree, which is part of that success as well. But then, you see, I was thinking, how could we use this or these two? Because they're slightly detached in their own thing. They weren't one, then the other or this or that. It was just two different parts of a conversation where he's explaining different ways. I thought, how could we use this for change? I want to change the way I behave, feel, or do something, or I want to get better at it. Maybe I could use this so maybe I could create a victory speech for achieving what I want to achieve, my desired state, as it were, my success, my outcome, my dream. And, I can also do this as well by looking from a balcony at the journey, the success, or, the things that I need to mitigate, things that may come along. And I'd have some questions in my mind as I do this. And, what type of questions might there be, do you think? Well, I thought there's always a critical step, the one thing, like a tipping point. I wonder what that would be. What would be the one thing that has to happen? Because, you know, some things will be fluid. Maybe it could be this or that or this and that. But there's normally something that has to happen, just the one thing. Without it, it wouldn't work. Or you could ask yourself, while I'm doing this thought process, I wonder how I can make this success even better. You see, I've got this idea what I want, but could I make it even better? Let's get that childlike quality of creativity and really think what I really want, not what I'm prepared to accept.     Think of something that you'd like to achieve. What do you specifically want   What would I really want? There's another question. It's one like ecology. And does this help other people? Does it hinder them? Is it positive? Is it negative? It's got to be positive for me, obviously. But if it's an ecological solution and an ecological desire or dream, it really needs to be positive for other people in the world, your family, your friends, people, maybe colleagues, people around you. And could it be even more? Could it help them? Now you have to think, well, how could it help them? Maybe by your experience, or giving them the experience of showing. Showing them how. How it can be done, how it can be achieved. So you become that example, the example of what can be done, the example of how you want to be in the world. Then you can, you see, that's the ecological side of it. But there's another thing about this to consider. I think, when I achieve this, and then we're talking about that success, speech, you know, that victory speech. When I get that success, that dream, that achievement, that thing that I want to change, that thing I want to be, do or have, what new opportunities will come from this, what will allow me to do? That's even more. You see, when you notice what extra things are going to happen, what new opportunities, what new goals, what wonderful things can happen, because you achieve that wonderful success is going to make it even more motivating, isn't it? So just have those questions in mind. So here's the thing. Why don't we do this right now? I might make a, hypnosis track of this as well. I've got one or two in mind now, but maybe we just do a little process right now. Oh, something small. It could be big, but just something small to get your mind into this process. So when you come to do it again and again, because these are the type of things that you can do again and again, it becomes a program of success. So I want you to think if it's okay, by the way, if you want to close your eyes, you close your eyes. You don't have to. You might a little bit later, but in this process, but initially you don't have to. But just make sure you've got times to focus on this. Only going to be about five or ten minutes, that's all at, the most. So just making sure nothing's going to take your attention. Now, if you're going to do this fully, nothing will take your attention. You're not going to be driving or anything like that. Come on, you've got to get real about this. This is something for you. So take some time out for yourself. Give yourself permission to explore this, explore your dreams and achieving your dreams, your goals, the things you want to do. Okay, so let's do this. I want you to bring to mind, think of something that you'd like to achieve. It can be big, can be small, doesn't matter. Something you want to be able to do better. Maybe you have a dream, maybe you're going to meet somebody, maybe it's in your career. Just something, don't make it huge, huge, huge, because that's too general. You're going to be specific and just think about that, bring that to mind. What do you specifically want? What do you specifically want to have happen and achieve? And I want you to imagine if you were to float out into the future to a time and a place, when you've achieved it, you've achieved that desired state, you've achieved that desired outcome, you've achieved that desired goal, that belief, maybe some behavior, a skill, go right out into the future in your mind and straight into it. I'm here, I've got it right now. And when you've got it right now, just as if you were looking through your own eyes, just notice what you'll see because it'll be different. You'll be seeing the world differently, having gone through the process all the way to here to make this a success. So as you see the world through your own eyes differently now, things will appear differently because they always do. What are the things you're saying to yourself, your internal voice, having already achieved this goal? And how will you speak on the outside to your, to the people who it affects? Maybe you'll be encouraging or maybe you're just have more skills that you'll be able to talk in more detail, to share, to learn, to maybe teach in some way. And what will it feel like. Feel the feelings of having achieved a success. Maybe there's that smell and taste and then put it all together, how you will be with all your senses having achieved this. And just notice from here, just notice what new opportunities, maybe new goals that you have are here for you right now, having achieved this success. Now, I would ask you, but we're not going to at the moment, but I would have asked you to write some this down because now you've got it. So you'd open your eyes, just write these down, maybe close them and open them and just write a few bullet points of what it feels like, what you'll see, what you'll hear, what are these opportunities? But at the moment, we're just going to keep this consciously and unconsciously, because your unconscious mind is beginning to get it now and then I want you to imagine floating just away up here, a little bit higher, as if you were looking down at you in that successful, having already achieved that desire, that goal, that dream, the thing that you wanted to have happen. And you could see way back to the now. So you may not see all the steps in a row, but you've got. Your unconscious mind can now become aware there was a process that got you from the now into here, this new future now, where you've got that success. And, maybe as you look from this dissociated, you see the you down there going through all the different things, all the different things you had to do, the steps along the way, even if you can't see them clearly, you know they're there. You knew you would have to hold that big picture in mind, this, that success speech that we've already done. You'd have to hold that in mind to keep the motivation going, because occasionally there'll be some issues you need to resolve or mitigate. But just ask your unconscious mind, what was the critical step that made this successful so great? And have your unconscious mind just notice what were the criticals, the critical step, the one step that has to be achieved. And then ask your unconscious mind, if I could make this better, if I could make it quicker, better, brighter, more effective, more pleasurable, so I can enjoy the process. I wonder what I would have done from the now right up to the success down there. What could I have done differently to make it even better? And then maybe just think. And sometimes you'll get the answers, and sometimes you just know your unconscious mind is working on this. But just notice how you've affected other people along the way and how those opportunities of reaching the success will help others, too. And, then just notice down there that you having that feeling of success along every step of the way, you and your unconscious mind working on this change together, overcoming obstacles, having fun along the way. And then when you've done all that, just open your eyes. And, when you open your eyes now, you can look around the world, you can give a little pat on the back, do something that just changed your state for a moment. Maybe just spell your name backwards in your mind out loud, say hello to somebody, notice a little bit of beauty, notice something. And as you do that and you feel differently, I know you, you know, you've now come out of that stage. Just notice how you feel about going towards that success, how you feel about writing that success speech, how you feel about taking the next step, how you feel about working on this project, this new change, this dream, this desire of yours. Because I think you'll feel different. I think you're going to feel maybe more motivated, more encouraged, or just a different belief that this is so doable and it means so much more to you now. I don't know. That's what I think. I'd be really interested to know just on that little bit of a process, because it wasn't hypnosis. It was a little bit of, you know, imagery guided imagery. You might call it visualization, but I know it's gone inside in a good way.     Every process will do something for you, and this one does   So I'd love to know what you did. I'll say that again more clearly. I'd love to know how you felt about that little process and how you feel now about it. You can email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged, um.com, just to give me an idea. Because what I'd like to do, I'm thinking about it, is to do a, hypnotic or hypnosis track to guide you through that more deeply. But I need to know and, have some feedback. Maybe there's things that I miss, maybe there's things I can improve. Maybe there's things that really work well that I can make even better. So I'd love your feedback on that. I'd love you to share this because I think it's important that everybody gets to find different ways. Because sometimes this is going to resonate with you 100% and you're going to go Cloughie. Best thing since sliced bread. Maybe it's going to be, well, that's not really quite working for me because not every process is going to hit the mark. I do believe it's in your desired and your intention. When you have that full, I'm, prepared to do whatever it takes intention, and I know what I want and I'm going to get it. But see, every process will do something for you, and this is one of them. You'll solve problems without knowing they were problems. But if you share this with people, you give them the opportunity to do the same, but you also get to know it better. We talk about that. As you share things and you talk about it, you get to know a little deeper, about the process of what you want. Or you might just learn more about what you want and go, oh, no, actually I found something else I want to add to it. And the more you add to it, the richer it gets. And the more you do this, that feeling inside grows. And when it grows, your unconscious mind goes, I know what you want, now let's go there, let's get it. And if you say those immortal words, this or something better, well, guess what? Your unconscious mind goes, I think, anyway, hey, hang on, buckle up, let's get going because I'm going to show you, and you'll be surprised, I think, when you look back and go, wow, I'm doing all this, all this stuff, I'm achieving all this stuff, and it becomes a habit. Success becomes a habit. Having fun becomes a habit. Finding new things to do and achieve them becomes a habit. Synchronicity becomes a habit and slaps you on the face with good stuff. Suddenly you become lucky. I'll say that again, you become lucky, and luck becomes a habit because you are creating it. You're on the cause side, you're creating all of this.     Please share, please give me the feedback. I really hope you enjoyed this podcast   So there's loads more we're gonna be talking about, loads more we can use. But isn't it interesting? well, to me it's interesting that somebody can say something which was nothing to do with what we've just done, but it created something in my mind that now has created something in your mind. And the ripples of change go so far, we never know. I know William ur, if he, he didn't realize that he was going to be talking to y through a podcast, and I'd take two dissociating things, or unrelated things and put them together, but we did, and maybe this will inspire you to do other things too. So please share, please give me the feedback. It would be awesome if you did. I'd look forward to it. I really hope you enjoyed this. And if you want that hypnosis track, you want me to do something again, I need to know because I don't want to spend all my time having a wonderful time processing and doing all this stuff and no one listened to it. But if one person listens to it and one person changes, my job's done. I'm a happy bunny. I'm a happy Cloughie. So please let me know. Email address is always the same. Feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug.com we've seen it in the past when other people, when people have listeners have asked for things, changed things and we've created stuff for them and it's made such a difference. I'm going to do maybe an episode one day of just the feedback I get and the results that people are getting. It's awesome.     Paul  says it's time to fly on your own   Anyway, till next time my friend. Have more fun in creating success than you can stand because it's time to fly.   Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul . Time to fly on your own. Be brave my friend.   Personal development unplugged.         William Ure: Writing out a victory speech can help you solve problems   Hey, the longer podcast again. And what a weird title. A victory speech from the balcony. What the hell does that mean? Cloughie. That's what you're thinking. I know you are. Well, here's the thing. Did you ever listen to someone, hear what they say and, think, yes, yes, that's exactly it. I've been using that. It's like a validation of what you've been taught or what you've learned. And that's what I got. See, I was listening to this podcast, and it was by the guy, a button, or by a guy called get it right Cloughie. William ure. I think that's how you pronounce his, surname. It's ur. So ur or ur, but William. And he's a chief negotiator, and he's negotiated in every different level you can think of. So political countries, all sorts of things going on at, really, really high levels. And he did this thing he was talking about, instead of trying to look at a problem, like negotiating between two parties and what's a problem? And all the steps that you're going to take to get to the solution, what you want. He said what he used to do was literally write out a victory speech. Now, what a wonderful way to solve a problem. You go to the end, having already got the solution, and you write it down. And why do we write it down? You know why we write it down? Because it goes into your brain in so many different ways. Those neural pathways are going to start firing together, wiring together, because you have to describe it in such a way. We call it vacog. What a weird thing. V a k o g in NLP terms. You describe it visually, you'll see it with your internal representation, your imagination in your mind. So you'll see it whether you see it in 2020, vision or just glimpses, it doesn't matter. You're aware, but you can describe it. You describe what you'll see having got the result you want. So this is your victory speech. You'll describe all the sights, maybe even the pictures in your mind, then the things you'll hear, the auditory side. How will the words sound? How will they resonate with not just yourself but with other people? Because that's the thing about a victory speech, isn't it? It's going to resonate with other people to get them to not only feel it in the words, but be able to see it. And the other thing is, okay, the kinesthetic is the feelings. What will it feel like making this victory speech, having achieved what you want achieved, solve the problem and have the result, the success. There may even be a smell and maybe a taste of success. We call it the taste of success, don't we? The sweet smell of success. And you write that thing out, and it doesn't have to be pages and pages, but you just to go through the process of writing out even bullet points to give you an idea what it would look like, sound like, feel like, smell and taste, having resolved that problem. And then from there, starting from that success is a bit like the end of a hero's journey, coming home, describing what that would be like, noticing all your victories, noticing all the hurdles that you got over, got round, got under, dismantled, negotiated. Because that's the thing. From here you get a glimpse of what you must have had to do to get there. And you see, this is all in the first person, isn't it? This is you looking through your own eyes, giving this victory speech. And that was one thing he said, this is how I teach a team to solve the problem. Let's go to the end. But he also said he likes to go to the balcony. See, when he was having real problems with either getting to that victory speech or looking and, understanding the problem and understanding maybe the views of the opposing fractious people or things in this problem, then he would go to what he would say, the balcony, as if he was looking down at the problem to get a better view. What are we doing? Well, in LLP terms, you're going to third person that metaview. You see when you look down at a problem from up here and you see yourself or, you see the different parties that have the issues, you get to see them with a dissociated view, which means you're unattached, detached, you're unemotional about it and you're seeing it sometimes for what it really is because you're not in it. Because when you're in it, you can't read the label. You're in the bottle, in the jar. You can't read the label. When you're out, though, you can see different things and you get a different perspective on the whole issue. So now you've got that view of the balcony. And maybe here, this is what I thought, maybe you could just see that victory speech from here, too. So you could just see that unemotionally to get another check on it, to get an idea what it's all about. And you might even from here, this dissociated view, this unemotional view, like a director of a movie from just on the outside, this meta view, you maybe ask yourself questions, well, how can I make it even better? Let's imagine what steps I must have made to get here, or what steps I need to make in order to achieve that victory speech. Because there will be like, that hero's journey. There will be things along the way that, are going to trip you up. Maybe some issues you may not have foreseen. Well, if you could see them from here, you mitigate them, you do something about them, or you just have a second 2nd path, maybe then I think that victory speech becomes so much more plausible, so much more firm in your, in your grasp. You can hold it, you can see it, you can feel it, which means you've done it. Then I thought to myself, you see, and I was thinking about this. What wonderful, this was a wonderful description of how to negotiate two frictions to, two sides in opposition. Yes, I know, really, when you've got two sides, you really need to find their intention, an intention they can agree, which is part of that success as well. But then, you see, I was thinking, how could we use this or these two? Because they're slightly detached in their own thing. They weren't one, then the other or this or that. It was just two different parts of a conversation where he's explaining different ways. I thought, how could we use this for change? I want to change the way I behave, feel, or do something, or I want to get better at it. Maybe I could use this so maybe I could create a victory speech for achieving what I want to achieve, my desired state, as it were, my success, my outcome, my dream. And, I can also do this as well by looking from a balcony at the journey, the success, or, the things that I need to mitigate, things that may come along. And I'd have some questions in my mind as I do this. And, what type of questions might there be, do you think? Well, I thought there's always a critical step, the one thing, like a tipping point. I wonder what that would be. What would be the one thing that has to happen? Because, you know, some things will be fluid. Maybe it could be this or that or this and that. But there's normally something that has to happen, just the one thing. Without it, it wouldn't work. Or you could ask yourself, while I'm doing this thought process, I wonder how I can make this success even better. You see, I've got this idea what I want, but could I make it even better? Let's get that childlike quality of creativity and really think what I really want, not what I'm prepared to accept.     Think of something that you'd like to achieve. What do you specifically want   What would I really want? There's another question. It's one like ecology. And does this help other people? Does it hinder them? Is it positive? Is it negative? It's got to be positive for me, obviously. But if it's an ecological solution and an ecological desire or dream, it really needs to be positive for other people in the world, your family, your friends, people, maybe colleagues, people around you. And could it be even more? Could it help them? Now you have to think, well, how could it help them? Maybe by your experience, or giving them the experience of showing. Showing them how. How it can be done, how it can be achieved. So you become that example, the example of what can be done, the example of how you want to be in the world. Then you can, you see, that's the ecological side of it. But there's another thing about this to consider. I think, when I achieve this, and then we're talking about that success, speech, you know, that victory speech. When I get that success, that dream, that achievement, that thing that I want to change, that thing I want to be, do or have, what new opportunities will come from this, what will allow me to do? That's even more. You see, when you notice what extra things are going to happen, what new opportunities, what new goals, what wonderful things can happen, because you achieve that wonderful success is going to make it even more motivating, isn't it? So just have those questions in mind. So here's the thing. Why don't we do this right now? I might make a, hypnosis track of this as well. I've got one or two in mind now, but maybe we just do a little process right now. Oh, something small. It could be big, but just something small to get your mind into this process. So when you come to do it again and again, because these are the type of things that you can do again and again, it becomes a program of success. So I want you to think if it's okay, by the way, if you want to close your eyes, you close your eyes. You don't have to. You might a little bit later, but in this process, but initially you don't have to. But just make sure you've got times to focus on this. Only going to be about five or ten minutes, that's all at, the most. So just making sure nothing's going to take your attention. Now, if you're going to do this fully, nothing will take your attention. You're not going to be driving or anything like that. Come on, you've got to get real about this. This is something for you. So take some time out for yourself. Give yourself permission to explore this, explore your dreams and achieving your dreams, your goals, the things you want to do. Okay, so let's do this. I want you to bring to mind, think of something that you'd like to achieve. It can be big, can be small, doesn't matter. Something you want to be able to do better. Maybe you have a dream, maybe you're going to meet somebody, maybe it's in your career. Just something, don't make it huge, huge, huge, because that's too general. You're going to be specific and just think about that, bring that to mind. What do you specifically want? What do you specifically want to have happen and achieve? And I want you to imagine if you were to float out into the future to a time and a place, when you've achieved it, you've achieved that desired state, you've achieved that desired outcome, you've achieved that desired goal, that belief, maybe some behavior, a skill, go right out into the future in your mind and straight into it. I'm here, I've got it right now. And when you've got it right now, just as if you were looking through your own eyes, just notice what you'll see because it'll be different. You'll be seeing the world differently, having gone through the process all the way to here to make this a success. So as you see the world through your own eyes differently now, things will appear differently because they always do. What are the things you're saying to yourself, your internal voice, having already achieved this goal? And how will you speak on the outside to your, to the people who it affects? Maybe you'll be encouraging or maybe you're just have more skills that you'll be able to talk in more detail, to share, to learn, to maybe teach in some way. And what will it feel like. Feel the feelings of having achieved a success. Maybe there's that smell and taste and then put it all together, how you will be with all your senses having achieved this. And just notice from here, just notice what new opportunities, maybe new goals that you have are here for you right now, having achieved this success. Now, I would ask you, but we're not going to at the moment, but I would have asked you to write some this down because now you've got it. So you'd open your eyes, just write these down, maybe close them and open them and just write a few bullet points of what it feels like, what you'll see, what you'll hear, what are these opportunities? But at the moment, we're just going to keep this consciously and unconsciously, because your unconscious mind is beginning to get it now and then I want you to imagine floating just away up here, a little bit higher, as if you were looking down at you in that successful, having already achieved that desire, that goal, that dream, the thing that you wanted to have happen. And you could see way back to the now. So you may not see all the steps in a row, but you've got. Your unconscious mind can now become aware there was a process that got you from the now into here, this new future now, where you've got that success. And, maybe as you look from this dissociated, you see the you down there going through all the different things, all the different things you had to do, the steps along the way, even if you can't see them clearly, you know they're there. You knew you would have to hold that big picture in mind, this, that success speech that we've already done. You'd have to hold that in mind to keep the motivation going, because occasionally there'll be some issues you need to resolve or mitigate. But just ask your unconscious mind, what was the critical step that made this successful so great? And have your unconscious mind just notice what were the criticals, the critical step, the one step that has to be achieved. And then ask your unconscious mind, if I could make this better, if I could make it quicker, better, brighter, more effective, more pleasurable, so I can enjoy the process. I wonder what I would have done from the now right up to the success down there. What could I have done differently to make it even better? And then maybe just think. And sometimes you'll get the answers, and sometimes you just know your unconscious mind is working on this. But just notice how you've affected other people along the way and how those opportunities of reaching the success will help others, too. And, then just notice down there that you having that feeling of success along every step of the way, you and your unconscious mind working on this change together, overcoming obstacles, having fun along the way. And then when you've done all that, just open your eyes. And, when you open your eyes now, you can look around the world, you can give a little pat on the back, do something that just changed your state for a moment. Maybe just spell your name backwards in your mind out loud, say hello to somebody, notice a little bit of beauty, notice something. And as you do that and you feel differently, I know you, you know, you've now come out of that stage. Just notice how you feel about going towards that success, how you feel about writing that success speech, how you feel about taking the next step, how you feel about working on this project, this new change, this dream, this desire of yours. Because I think you'll feel different. I think you're going to feel maybe more motivated, more encouraged, or just a different belief that this is so doable and it means so much more to you now. I don't know. That's what I think. I'd be really interested to know just on that little bit of a process, because it wasn't hypnosis. It was a little bit of, you know, imagery guided imagery. You might call it visualization, but I know it's gone inside in a good way.     Every process will do something for you, and this one does   So I'd love to know what you did. I'll say that again more clearly. I'd love to know how you felt about that little process and how you feel now about it. You can email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged, um.com, just to give me an idea. Because what I'd like to do, I'm thinking about it, is to do a, hypnotic or hypnosis track to guide you through that more deeply. But I need to know and, have some feedback. Maybe there's things that I miss, maybe there's things I can improve. Maybe there's things that really work well that I can make even better. So I'd love your feedback on that. I'd love you to share this because I think it's important that everybody gets to find different ways. Because sometimes this is going to resonate with you 100% and you're going to go Cloughie. Best thing since sliced bread. Maybe it's going to be, well, that's not really quite working for me because not every process is going to hit the mark. I do believe it's in your desired and your intention. When you have that full, I'm, prepared to do whatever it takes intention, and I know what I want and I'm going to get it. But see, every process will do something for you, and this is one of them. You'll solve problems without knowing they were problems. But if you share this with people, you give them the opportunity to do the same, but you also get to know it better. We talk about that. As you share things and you talk about it, you get to know a little deeper, about the process of what you want. Or you might just learn more about what you want and go, oh, no, actually I found something else I want to add to it. And the more you add to it, the richer it gets. And the more you do this, that feeling inside grows. And when it grows, your unconscious mind goes, I know what you want, now let's go there, let's get it. And if you say those immortal words, this or something better, well, guess what? Your unconscious mind goes, I think, anyway, hey, hang on, buckle up, let's get going because I'm going to show you, and you'll be surprised, I think, when you look back and go, wow, I'm doing all this, all this stuff, I'm achieving all this stuff, and it becomes a habit. Success becomes a habit. Having fun becomes a habit. Finding new things to do and achieve them becomes a habit. Synchronicity becomes a habit and slaps you on the face with good stuff. Suddenly you become lucky. I'll say that again, you become lucky, and luck becomes a habit because you are creating it. You're on the cause side, you're creating all of this.     Please share, please give me the feedback. I really hope you enjoyed this podcast   So there's loads more we're gonna be talking about, loads more we can use. But isn't it interesting? well, to me it's interesting that somebody can say something which was nothing to do with what we've just done, but it created something in my mind that now has created something in your mind. And the ripples of change go so far, we never know. I know William ur, if he, he didn't realize that he was going to be talking to y through a podcast, and I'd take two dissociating things, or unrelated things and put them together, but we did, and maybe this will inspire you to do other things too. So please share, please give me the feedback. It would be awesome if you did. I'd look forward to it. I really hope you enjoyed this. And if you want that hypnosis track, you want me to do something again, I need to know because I don't want to spend all my time having a wonderful time processing and doing all this stuff and no one listened to it. But if one person listens to it and one person changes, my job's done. I'm a happy bunny. I'm a happy Cloughie. So please let me know. Email address is always the same. Feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug.com we've seen it in the past when other people, when people have listeners have asked for things, changed things and we've created stuff for them and it's made such a difference. I'm going to do maybe an episode one day of just the feedback I get and the results that people are getting. It's awesome.     Paul  says it's time to fly on your own   Anyway, till next time my friend. Have more fun in creating success than you can stand because it's time to fly.   Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul . Time to fly on your own. Be brave my friend.   Personal development unplugged.               Hey, the longer podcast again. And what a weird title. A victory speech from the balcony. What the hell does that mean? Cloughie. That's what you're thinking. I know you are. Well, here's the thing. Did you ever listen to someone, hear what they say and, think, yes, yes, that's exactly it. I've been using that. It's like a validation of what you've been taught or what you've learned. And that's what I got. See, I was listening to this podcast, and it was by the guy, a button, or by a guy called get it right Cloughie. William ure. I think that's how you pronounce his, surname. It's ur. So ur or ur, but William. And he's a chief negotiator, and he's negotiated in every different level you can think of. So political countries, all sorts of things going on at, really, really high levels. And he did this thing he was talking about, instead of trying to look at a problem, like negotiating between two parties and what's a problem? And all the steps that you're going to take to get to the solution, what you want. He said what he used to do was literally write out a victory speech. Now, what a wonderful way to solve a problem. You go to the end, having already got the solution, and you write it down. And why do we write it down? You know why we write it down? Because it goes into your brain in so many different ways. Those neural pathways are going to start firing together, wiring together, because you have to describe it in such a way. We call it vacog. What a weird thing. V a k o g in NLP terms. You describe it visually, you'll see it with your internal representation, your imagination in your mind. So you'll see it whether you see it in 2020, vision or just glimpses, it doesn't matter. You're aware, but you can describe it. You describe what you'll see having got the result you want. So this is your victory speech. You'll describe all the sights, maybe even the pictures in your mind, then the things you'll hear, the auditory side. How will the words sound? How will they resonate with not just yourself but with other people? Because that's the thing about a victory speech, isn't it? It's going to resonate with other people to get them to not only feel it in the words, but be able to see it. And the other thing is, okay, the kinesthetic is the feelings. What will it feel like making this victory speech, having achieved what you want achieved, solve the problem and have the result, the success. There may even be a smell and maybe a taste of success. We call it the taste of success, don't we? The sweet smell of success. And you write that thing out, and it doesn't have to be pages and pages, but you just to go through the process of writing out even bullet points to give you an idea what it would look like, sound like, feel like, smell and taste, having resolved that problem. And then from there, starting from that success is a bit like the end of a hero's journey, coming home, describing what that would be like, noticing all your victories, noticing all the hurdles that you got over, got round, got under, dismantled, negotiated. Because that's the thing. From here you get a glimpse of what you must have had to do to get there. And you see, this is all in the first person, isn't it? This is you looking through your own eyes, giving this victory speech. And that was one thing he said, this is how I teach a team to solve the problem. Let's go to the end. But he also said he likes to go to the balcony. See, when he was having real problems with either getting to that victory speech or looking and, understanding the problem and understanding maybe the views of the opposing fractious people or things in this problem, then he would go to what he would say, the balcony, as if he was looking down at the problem to get a better view. What are we doing? Well, in LLP terms, you're going to third person that metaview. You see when you look down at a problem from up here and you see yourself or, you see the different parties that have the issues, you get to see them with a dissociated view, which means you're unattached, detached, you're unemotional about it and you're seeing it sometimes for what it really is because you're not in it. Because when you're in it, you can't read the label. You're in the bottle, in the jar. You can't read the label. When you're out, though, you can see different things and you get a different perspective on the whole issue. So now you've got that view of the balcony. And maybe here, this is what I thought, maybe you could just see that victory speech from here, too. So you could just see that unemotionally to get another check on it, to get an idea what it's all about. And you might even from here, this dissociated view, this unemotional view, like a director of a movie from just on the outside, this meta view, you maybe ask yourself questions, well, how can I make it even better? Let's imagine what steps I must have made to get here, or what steps I need to make in order to achieve that victory speech. Because there will be like, that hero's journey. There will be things along the way that, are going to trip you up. Maybe some issues you may not have foreseen. Well, if you could see them from here, you mitigate them, you do something about them, or you just have a second 2nd path, maybe then I think that victory speech becomes so much more plausible, so much more firm in your, in your grasp. You can hold it, you can see it, you can feel it, which means you've done it. Then I thought to myself, you see, and I was thinking about this. What wonderful, this was a wonderful description of how to negotiate two frictions to, two sides in opposition. Yes, I know, really, when you've got two sides, you really need to find their intention, an intention they can agree, which is part of that success as well. But then, you see, I was thinking, how could we use this or these two? Because they're slightly detached in their own thing. They weren't one, then the other or this or that. It was just two different parts of a conversation where he's explaining different ways. I thought, how could we use this for change? I want to change the way I behave, feel, or do something, or I want to get better at it. Maybe I could use this so maybe I could create a victory speech for achieving what I want to achieve, my desired state, as it were, my success, my outcome, my dream. And, I can also do this as well by looking from a balcony at the journey, the success, or, the things that I need to mitigate, things that may come along. And I'd have some questions in my mind as I do this. And, what type of questions might there be, do you think? Well, I thought there's always a critical step, the one thing, like a tipping point. I wonder what that would be. What would be the one thing that has to happen? Because, you know, some things will be fluid. Maybe it could be this or that or this and that. But there's normally something that has to happen, just the one thing. Without it, it wouldn't work. Or you could ask yourself, while I'm doing this thought process, I wonder how I can make this success even better. You see, I've got this idea what I want, but could I make it even better? Let's get that childlike quality of creativity and really think what I really want, not what I'm prepared to accept.     Think of something that you'd like to achieve. What do you specifically want   What would I really want? There's another question. It's one like ecology. And does this help other people? Does it hinder them? Is it positive? Is it negative? It's got to be positive for me, obviously. But if it's an ecological solution and an ecological desire or dream, it really needs to be positive for other people in the world, your family, your friends, people, maybe colleagues, people around you. And could it be even more? Could it help them? Now you have to think, well, how could it help them? Maybe by your experience, or giving them the experience of showing. Showing them how. How it can be done, how it can be achieved. So you become that example, the example of what can be done, the example of how you want to be in the world. Then you can, you see, that's the ecological side of it. But there's another thing about this to consider. I think, when I achieve this, and then we're talking about that success, speech, you know, that victory speech. When I get that success, that dream, that achievement, that thing that I want to change, that thing I want to be, do or have, what new opportunities will come from this, what will allow me to do? That's even more. You see, when you notice what extra things are going to happen, what new opportunities, what new goals, what wonderful things can happen, because you achieve that wonderful success is going to make it even more motivating, isn't it? So just have those questions in mind. So here's the thing. Why don't we do this right now? I might make a, hypnosis track of this as well. I've got one or two in mind now, but maybe we just do a little process right now. Oh, something small. It could be big, but just something small to get your mind into this process. So when you come to do it again and again, because these are the type of things that you can do again and again, it becomes a program of success. So I want you to think if it's okay, by the way, if you want to close your eyes, you close your eyes. You don't have to. You might a little bit later, but in this process, but initially you don't have to. But just make sure you've got times to focus on this. Only going to be about five or ten minutes, that's all at, the most. So just making sure nothing's going to take your attention. Now, if you're going to do this fully, nothing will take your attention. You're not going to be driving or anything like that. Come on, you've got to get real about this. This is something for you. So take some time out for yourself. Give yourself permission to explore this, explore your dreams and achieving your dreams, your goals, the things you want to do. Okay, so let's do this. I want you to bring to mind, think of something that you'd like to achieve. It can be big, can be small, doesn't matter. Something you want to be able to do better. Maybe you have a dream, maybe you're going to meet somebody, maybe it's in your career. Just something, don't make it huge, huge, huge, because that's too general. You're going to be specific and just think about that, bring that to mind. What do you specifically want? What do you specifically want to have happen and achieve? And I want you to imagine if you were to float out into the future to a time and a place, when you've achieved it, you've achieved that desired state, you've achieved that desired outcome, you've achieved that desired goal, that belief, maybe some behavior, a skill, go right out into the future in your mind and straight into it. I'm here, I've got it right now. And when you've got it right now, just as if you were looking through your own eyes, just notice what you'll see because it'll be different. You'll be seeing the world differently, having gone through the process all the way to here to make this a success. So as you see the world through your own eyes differently now, things will appear differently because they always do. What are the things you're saying to yourself, your internal voice, having already achieved this goal? And how will you speak on the outside to your, to the people who it affects? Maybe you'll be encouraging or maybe you're just have more skills that you'll be able to talk in more detail, to share, to learn, to maybe teach in some way. And what will it feel like. Feel the feelings of having achieved a success. Maybe there's that smell and taste and then put it all together, how you will be with all your senses having achieved this. And just notice from here, just notice what new opportunities, maybe new goals that you have are here for you right now, having achieved this success. Now, I would ask you, but we're not going to at the moment, but I would have asked you to write some this down because now you've got it. So you'd open your eyes, just write these down, maybe close them and open them and just write a few bullet points of what it feels like, what you'll see, what you'll hear, what are these opportunities? But at the moment, we're just going to keep this consciously and unconsciously, because your unconscious mind is beginning to get it now and then I want you to imagine floating just away up here, a little bit higher, as if you were looking down at you in that successful, having already achieved that desire, that goal, that dream, the thing that you wanted to have happen. And you could see way back to the now. So you may not see all the steps in a row, but you've got. Your unconscious mind can now become aware there was a process that got you from the now into here, this new future now, where you've got that success. And, maybe as you look from this dissociated, you see the you down there going through all the different things, all the different things you had to do, the steps along the way, even if you can't see them clearly, you know they're there. You knew you would have to hold that big picture in mind, this, that success speech that we've already done. You'd have to hold that in mind to keep the motivation going, because occasionally there'll be some issues you need to resolve or mitigate. But just ask your unconscious mind, what was the critical step that made this successful so great? And have your unconscious mind just notice what were the criticals, the critical step, the one step that has to be achieved. And then ask your unconscious mind, if I could make this better, if I could make it quicker, better, brighter, more effective, more pleasurable, so I can enjoy the process. I wonder what I would have done from the now right up to the success down there. What could I have done differently to make it even better? And then maybe just think. And sometimes you'll get the answers, and sometimes you just know your unconscious mind is working on this. But just notice how you've affected other people along the way and how those opportunities of reaching the success will help others, too. And, then just notice down there that you having that feeling of success along every step of the way, you and your unconscious mind working on this change together, overcoming obstacles, having fun along the way. And then when you've done all that, just open your eyes. And, when you open your eyes now, you can look around the world, you can give a little pat on the back, do something that just changed your state for a moment. Maybe just spell your name backwards in your mind out loud, say hello to somebody, notice a little bit of beauty, notice something. And as you do that and you feel differently, I know you, you know, you've now come out of that stage. Just notice how you feel about going towards that success, how you feel about writing that success speech, how you feel about taking the next step, how you feel about working on this project, this new change, this dream, this desire of yours. Because I think you'll feel different. I think you're going to feel maybe more motivated, more encouraged, or just a different belief that this is so doable and it means so much more to you now. I don't know. That's what I think. I'd be really interested to know just on that little bit of a process, because it wasn't hypnosis. It was a little bit of, you know, imagery guided imagery. You might call it visualization, but I know it's gone inside in a good way.     Every process will do something for you, and this one does   So I'd love to know what you did. I'll say that again more clearly. I'd love to know how you felt about that little process and how you feel now about it. You can email me feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged, um.com, just to give me an idea. Because what I'd like to do, I'm thinking about it, is to do a, hypnotic or hypnosis track to guide you through that more deeply. But I need to know and, have some feedback. Maybe there's things that I miss, maybe there's things I can improve. Maybe there's things that really work well that I can make even better. So I'd love your feedback on that. I'd love you to share this because I think it's important that everybody gets to find different ways. Because sometimes this is going to resonate with you 100% and you're going to go Cloughie. Best thing since sliced bread. Maybe it's going to be, well, that's not really quite working for me because not every process is going to hit the mark. I do believe it's in your desired and your intention. When you have that full, I'm, prepared to do whatever it takes intention, and I know what I want and I'm going to get it. But see, every process will do something for you, and this is one of them. You'll solve problems without knowing they were problems. But if you share this with people, you give them the opportunity to do the same, but you also get to know it better. We talk about that. As you share things and you talk about it, you get to know a little deeper, about the process of what you want. Or you might just learn more about what you want and go, oh, no, actually I found something else I want to add to it. And the more you add to it, the richer it gets. And the more you do this, that feeling inside grows. And when it grows, your unconscious mind goes, I know what you want, now let's go there, let's get it. And if you say those immortal words, this or something better, well, guess what? Your unconscious mind goes, I think, anyway, hey, hang on, buckle up, let's get going because I'm going to show you, and you'll be surprised, I think, when you look back and go, wow, I'm doing all this, all this stuff, I'm achieving all this stuff, and it becomes a habit. Success becomes a habit. Having fun becomes a habit. Finding new things to do and achieve them becomes a habit. Synchronicity becomes a habit and slaps you on the face with good stuff. Suddenly you become lucky. I'll say that again, you become lucky, and luck becomes a habit because you are creating it. You're on the cause side, you're creating all of this.     Please share, please give me the feedback. I really hope you enjoyed this podcast   So there's loads more we're gonna be talking about, loads more we can use. But isn't it interesting? well, to me it's interesting that somebody can say something which was nothing to do with what we've just done, but it created something in my mind that now has created something in your mind. And the ripples of change go so far, we never know. I know William ur, if he, he didn't realize that he was going to be talking to y through a podcast, and I'd take two dissociating things, or unrelated things and put them together, but we did, and maybe this will inspire you to do other things too. So please share, please give me the feedback. It would be awesome if you did. I'd look forward to it. I really hope you enjoyed this. And if you want that hypnosis track, you want me to do something again, I need to know because I don't want to spend all my time having a wonderful time processing and doing all this stuff and no one listened to it. But if one person listens to it and one person changes, my job's done. I'm a happy bunny. I'm a happy Cloughie. So please let me know. Email address is always the same. Feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplug.com we've seen it in the past when other people, when people have listeners have asked for things, changed things and we've created stuff for them and it's made such a difference. I'm going to do maybe an episode one day of just the feedback I get and the results that people are getting. It's awesome.     Paul  says it's time to fly on your own   Anyway, till next time my friend. Have more fun in creating success than you can stand because it's time to fly.   Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul . Time to fly on your own. Be brave my friend.   Personal development unplugged Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Feel Good and Getting Better it me or do we all want everything NOW! Instantaneously or even quicker.I think we've fallen into the trap that instant gratification is the thing. But if we get that then we want the next thing and the next thing and I feel we miss out. Why do we want everything instantaneously? It got me thinking how does this apply to our personal development? Our dreams and desires? Enjoying the adventure and not just the elusive prize. Then I got to thinking about therapy and how I like quick and comfortable change. Is that in conflict with the adventure of developing our true self? If you would, come follow me on this little dive of of discovery of how we can create a practice of celebrating who and where we are and being curious of what's to come. It's really not how fast. It's enjoying how good and getting better. Please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/392-feel-good-and-getting-better/   Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   Hey, friend, you're back. I'm back. Feeling good, getting better. That might be the title of this podcast or this episode, I'm not sure yet, but just for a moment, just for a moment, while you're here with me, I'd like you to take a breath. Just a breath. And, know that you're blessed because you are. Just take that breath. Because I've been thinking. I do that. I do a lot of weird thinking. And I was thinking the other day, why do we want everything now? And I'm saying we, because I know I do. I know I do. Occasionally, not always, but I get lost in that. But I see it in so many different ways that people, want something right now. Right now at the latest, tomorrow. You know, everything you order has got to be here tomorrow. Can't wait. Got to have it. And it's like a race, even. It's not just getting things to be able to do things to, you know, maybe in this land, this life of personal development, there's a race to get somewhere quicker, to find that hack. And I hate the word hack, you know that. To learn something quicker, to have it now, to be able to do these things instant, bloody taneously. And it's. Is it? Or is it? Or is it. Is that search for instant gratification feeling good right now, no delay. It's got to happen now. And I think when you have that instant gratification, it just doesn't last. Because the thing is, we've got this in our mindset. I'm saying we. Maybe it's all me. I don't know. But I think there's a bit of this in everybody, and there's certainly a lot of it in a lot of people as well. And I think we can learn from others. We can learn the good things about others, and we can learn what not to do from others actions. But that instant gratification doesn't last, because the next thing I want, the next thing I want, the next thing now. I want it now. I want it now. You don't even have time to enjoy, to enjoy what you have, right now, what you've achieved. So that's why I said, let's stop, take a breath, pause for a little while, and just think for a moment, what is the prize that we want? That's a big question. Is it, Paul? And it's totally too vague. I'm thinking about what is the prize that we desire, a dream of for ourselves in our own personal development, because that's what this is, isn't it? It's personal development. Unplugged. so we're going to get into the raw part of this. Let's get naked. Where did that come from? Clubby. But, you know, what is the prize we won? I made a few notes, a few bullet points. I thought, well, there's skills I want to learn skills, different things. I want to improve the skills I've got and build upon them. So my skill base and that foundation gets bigger and stronger to enable me to do even more things. Maybe I want to let go of certain negative emotions, and I want to experience more positive emotions and things like, and they all link together, don't they? Because if I'm learning new skills that I really enjoy and it's making me feel I'm a better, more capable person, more confident, more confident person, my emotions are going to be more positive, aren't they? What will happen to my beliefs? My beliefs will be more positive about me. Probably, have more positive beliefs about other people, but it's all about me, my identity. Chipping away at the stuff that doesn't work. Chipping away the stuff that has been trying to protect me, but is no longer appropriate and, finding the real beliefs and, values of me, my identity, who I really am and who I can grow to be. And it's grow, not instant. It's grow, evolve. What about behaviors? Because they come from skills and emotions and beliefs, don't they? Because it's one thing just knowing stuff, but being able to do stuff, it's be and do and know, isn't it? it's that mastery again, knowing what to do and doing what you know and have that expand, have that grow.     Cloughie says letting go of anxiety and fears can lead to positive change   And ultimately, I guess it's to grow and experience a good life, because a good life will have all the wonderful things that you've done. M and I see that as the prize. We can go deeper into that. I mean, what would it feel like to have that dream come true, knowing that you're going to carry on growing, experiencing a good life even more, more richer, and having the time to wallow in it. And I. Wallow is a weird word, but I love the word to wallow in good experiences, wallowing, good emotions. Why not? We've created them. You've created it. You created your beliefs, your emotions, your skills, your behaviors, because you had the right intention. You know, I see those people who go, oh, I've been around. I've traveled, man. I've traveled. I've been everywhere. I've done this. And you talked. Oh, yeah, I've been there and I've been there. How did you be in so many places? Well, they did, but they only visited for half a day. A day. It was like getting your stamp and moving on. And to me, well, that's not experiencing stuff. That's not wallowing, is it? I love the term, let's just sit down for a spell. And that spell, spellbound, being in the moment and just thinking, yeah, this is good, and I'm gonna do more of this. Now, I've talked about slowing down and really getting into what the desire, what the prize, what the dream is. Not instant gratification, but on the other hand, there's a complete. When I was thinking about this, you're going, okay, Cloughie. That, to me, seems really positive. But on the other hand, what do you talk about when you do your own therapy? Cloughie. And you see, when it comes to change, as in change of letting go of the things that are, stopping us using our skills, our emotions, our values, and growing and evolving in experience, I like to have therapeutic change as quick as possible. In fact, our unconscious mind learns to change quickly. It doesn't like, like one word at a time, one word a day. If you read a book, one word a day, well, after two days, you wouldn't even. Three days, four days, you wouldn't know what's happening. You wouldn't know. Even if you read the whole book, you wouldn't retain anything because it wouldn't make sense. But if you could let go of anxiety and fears just like that, you have time, more time to grow those experiences, to grow those skills, to grow those emotions, to wallow in wonderful things. And, I think that's the dichotomy, really. I want you to have that gratification of quick change, knowing that you can change quickly because your unconscious mind is only trying to protect you. And you can find it in a better way, because if you compare anxiety, fears, unconfidence, any negative emotion, guilt, jealousy, what else can we have? Depression, OCD, aHD, AdHD? I don't believe that. But hey, all that stuff trying to do you some good, but is really stopping you. If you found a better way from developing those skills to developing more positive emotions. Because do you feel safer when you're doing the things that you love, being confident and competent in the things you love, having that good emotion, believing in yourself and the behaviours coming out into a good experience, that's safety. So we just need to learn from the past and we can learn from the past really quickly because we get your unconscious mind to do that. And because of that we can then allow ourselves to experience creating the you you want to be and experiencing those moments, those aha, uh-huh moments when you suddenly realize, if you stop, take a breath and realize, yeah, at this very moment in time, I'm blessed, I'm going to be more blessed as I evolve. But imagine what you'd see if you let go of that anxiety, let go of those fears, let go of that, unconfidence, let go of that guilt, whatever, whatever, whatever we talked about, you fill in the blank. What would it feel like if you could lose that in a few moments, a couple of hours maybe, what would it be? What would you see in the world? How would the world look different? Because it would look different because you'd be seeing it through a different set of filters. And when you look at. And you'd see it from a different perspective. And when you look at things differently, we know things look different. And, what were the sounds and the words that you would hear, that, self talk, what would that be like when you've let go of that anxiety, fear and confidence and all that other stuff, and living in the world of developing your skills, really aligning yourself with your values and your beliefs and your personal development, knowing that you're going to grow and experience a good life. And how would that make you feel when you put that all together? Seeing what you'll be seeing, hearing what you'll be hearing, because you've let go of all those negative, emotions, negative behaviors, negative beliefs, limiting beliefs, and you're working forward towards growing, growing into the next part of you. You might even taste and smell success. And that's when I say it's a matter of doing that quickly so you could be able to stop and pause, take a breath and, realize, how far have I travelled? You see, this is you now. So when you stop and pause just for a moment, notice, yeah, I may have a few issues I need to deal with. But if I look back, if I did look back, I, know I've gone through things and they've disappeared now. So I can do this. Let me do it quickly because Cloughie says you can, because that's what we do. So if you listen to hypnosis, tracks NLP processes, go and see a therapist, a good hypnotist, I always tell you, a hypnotist, NLP practitioner and timeline. Therapist, practitioner, you get one of those who has got those skills, boom. You'll do it really quickly and so you can then set yourself up to start learning and developing and evolving. But just. If you just say how, you know, if I look back now on this personal development, life that I've led, how far have I traveled in this hero's journey, hero's adventure? What was I like a year ago? Four years ago? Wow. Yeah. Because sometimes we forget that when we're living in the moment. But it's good to know how far we've come because now we can look to see where we want to go because it will give us more confidence in ourselves, more competence to be able to say, well, I can do more because I've got more skills. I've got more skills than I had back then. So if I've got more skills, more, access to more positive emotions, beliefs and values, and I've got behaviours that really go forward to my prize, my desires, my dreams of being the best version of me, I can do even more. And you begin to wonder in this moment of, just being you right now. You just wonder what's in store. What's in store for me, my life. Imagine that now. Just being you, just taking this breath, knowing you're blessed, feeling grateful because you're still. I nearly swore and still alive. You're above ground, you're taking breaths. So you've got everything you need. And I think you see, I, know you're going to work on your skills. I, know you're going to work on letting go of emotions, the negative emotions, letting go of limiting beliefs. And I know you're going to work at accessing positive emotions, being aligned to your highest values, having positive beliefs about yourself, the identity beliefs that really going to support you, therefore creating wonderful behaviours.     Practice of celebrating being you, being me. Whatever your circumstances   I want you to practice. This is what I'd like. I want you to actually sit down for that spell and create a practice of celebrating being you, being me. Even if we're a little bit broken. We've talked about that before, being a little bit broken because we always go, a little bit broken, but go, yay. Yay. I. She wrote that down on my notes. A big capital letters, uppercase y, a y, exclamation marks all over the place. Yay. It's just because I don't think we do. And once we celebrate who we are, I think our unconscious mind gets it, gets it even more. And, we can just. And it doesn't have to take long. You know, to me it's like, it's a form of the attitude of gratitude. Just taking this moment, taking a breath, realizing you're blessed. Whatever your circumstances. Yes, we've got some issues maybe that we need to deal with. Maybe life has thrown us a curveball and at this moment in time, we're not in our best state. But when we sit here right now and go, do you know what? I'm still alive. I'm me. And I've got. Because I'm still alive and because I'm still breathing, I've got the opportunity to develop those, skills even more, to deal with this, to access the right emotions and behaviours and beliefs. Because this too will pass. And even the good stuff, this too will pass. And you go, that's negative, Cloughie. No, because this too will pass and get richer, get richer, so much more richer in life, the experiences. And you could just sometimes, even imagine in the future of what that will be like because there is so much more to come. And it's not when we go right back to the beginning, it's not how fast, it's how good, how good it could be right now. Finding the good in the right now and knowing it's been getting better. Therefore it will keep getting better. And you then can look at that vision, that ultimate vision of you, the best version of yourself that will just keep getting bigger and brighter and better because you'll be building off that firmer foundation. And I think just doing this moment of practice, celebrating, because it's not just reviewing. We've done that, we do reviews, we do our planning, but just celebrating this moment in time. And yay. I'm still a little broken, but who gives a fuck? I did swear. But that's, that's it, isn't it? Who gives a fuck? It's me. I'm growing and I will continue to grow and I'm going to do the best I can. Wouldn't that be good? Isn't that good? And, how long does it take to practice celebrating being who you are right now? 30 seconds. Could be 10 seconds. Have you got 10 seconds in your day? You betcha. And with a lot of the stuff I talk about, there is only one negative side effect. If it doesn't work, if this doesn't make you feel better, more confident, more motivated to carry on, the worst side effect it will be is that 10 seconds in your day you will feel bloody awesome because you're celebrating the best of you. Nothing else. Just looking for the best of you and feeling grateful for it, feeling blessed. You're in this life and you're stepping up to the plate. And I'm celebrating being here because I'm going to make a difference, by the way. And that's what this will all come from. Because as we have that prize, that desire, that dream, in this personal development, to be the best version of ourselves, I know that will include helping and serving others, because it is. It always does. You'll be in that frame of mind to do things naturally, to help other people, the world, the planet, animals, whatever it is which floats your boat. You'll do good stuff for no one to return, and you'll make a difference. And then when you do stop and practice this celebration, you can take that in, too, and wonder how that's going to develop even more. That passion, that seed of passion will grow and then celebrate its growth, nurture it, feed it, water it. That's all there is. Well, maybe that's not all there is. There's lots of other stuff. But it's, to me, that's a lot of it. So let's just take that moment. Maybe if you want to. It's a muse. But if you just stop now, just celebrate yourself. Thank you for being here. Thank me for all the stuff I've gone through and I'm here and I'm still punching away, stepping up to that plate over and over again to be the best me I can. Sometimes I don't quite hit that bar, but that's okay because I'm going to do it better next time. Celebrate being you. Take a breath. There you go, my friend. I hope you enjoyed that little music. I just sometimes think that we can do all these wonderful different things, have all the processes in the world, and, you know, I've got loads of processes which are free. Where are they? Purcell? No, they're not there, Paul. They're at paulcloughonline.com podcast. Also, if you go to the main page there, you'll see some other stuff I've got there, which is good. All the discounted prices and all that stuff. And you can just have access to those low 60 plus hypnosis NLP processes to help you do that quick change from anxiety to confidence. So please take access of that. It's the whole reason. Not the whole reason, but one of the main reasons I've been doing this stuff. A lot of this is stuff is me talking to me. And you get, if there is any benefit, what falls out. But those processes, I've, put my best into those and I think they will. There's a lot of good stuff there. Not blowing it up bigger than it is, but I think I know it's stuff that I use in my therapy with other people and I just bloody work. I'm going to current adding to it.     What would happen if everyone celebrated being who they were   So if you could do that and if you could just share this as usual, that would be good. Because I think everyone. What would happen if everyone celebrated being who they were and feeling good for who they were and knowing there's so much more to come, knowing that it's not how fast, it's how good, how rich, we could enjoy the experience of evolution of ourselves towards the best version of ourselves. What would happen if everybody did that? So if you could share this, I think it'll make a difference. It'll make a difference to me, it'll make a difference to you, I know, but it'll make a difference to them and therefore it'll make a difference to little old planet Earth, which is the whole ecology of it all. Good for you, good for others, good for little old planet Earth. there you go. And if any of this is just that. Oh, actually, Paul, you know, you've said all this, but, I'm a bit struggling with getting rid of x, y, z. You know, I'm struggling with a bit of anxiety around or fear a bit about this, or this bloody adhd or all that stuff. Send me an email feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugedg.com. Have a little chat with you and we'll see what we can do about creating something just for you, because it'll be just for you and, everyone else gets the benefit of it. So it's good for you, good for me, because I love doing it, good for other people and therefore be good for planet earth. we're back there on the old ecology trail, so please do share, okay? And for goodness sake, if you haven't done it already, please do not press that subscribe button more than twice. Just once will do. Have more fun than you can stand, because that's the thing when you're celebrating you're going to have more fun. And you can stand right now. Take a breath and fly, my friend, and I'll see you on the next time, the fmqs and the longer podcasts. Okay? Have fun. Thank you so much for your time. It's precious and I appreciate it. Thank you. Bye bye now.     Paul Clough puts 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks on a separate website   So, the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple, really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable so you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer. You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the itunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where did you get them? Well, there you go. I told you. It's paulcloughonline.com podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be, because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access. Simple as that. I send you a link, special link, so you, and, only you can access those hypnosis tracks because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility. I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you. I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore, I'm giving you these tools. Tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy, have more fun than you can stand with. Hypnosis one, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development, unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Taking My Last Breath So We Can Live A Good Life If it's possible that we have only one life on this little old planet Earth what a waste to waste any of that time. Knowing you're here, I'm guessing you will feel the same as me too. So............................. What would happen if we were to imagine going to the end of our time line of the future and taking our last breath and look back on what we want to have achieved in that life time? And because it's in our imagination you can do this imagining everything you want to have done, experienced - the sight, sounds and feelings of all your dreams having been truly realized. Oh! and probably a bit more because you can   :O) And it's how we can take notice of those reminders and Ah-Ha moments that will guide us to fulfill this life with amazing times. Please come with me, it's not the longest of episodes, and I think we'll make a difference that makes the difference to a life well lived. If you like what you hear please share this episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/388-taking-my-last-breath-so-we-can-live-a-good-life and the podcast itself to all   Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This podcast is all about your unconscious mind   Hey, this podcast, what's important about this episode? It's all about your unconscious mind. Keep reminding you, keep reminding you what's important. How to stretch and be your best self. So we don't waste a heartbeat, a moment, a minute, an hour. We just make our life rich and, and enjoyable so we can look back at this life and go, it's a bloody good one. Now I think that might be important. So have a listen to this just after the next 15 seconds, okay Personal development is a continual creation, isn't it Hey, we've got, well, a bit of exploring of a sort in this longer podcast. And the thing is, it's about the recurring aha's. and what does that mean? Well, why is this going to be important anyway? Let's do the important thing first, because this is why it's important. Personal development. You're here, you're here to learn and create, I'm going to guess create the best version of yourself. We talk about it so many times and it's a continual creation, isn't it? It's an evolving and the evolution. And we have to stretch, that's how we do it, don't we? We have to stretch ourselves and be consistent in that stretch. And we can't give excuses, can we? We can't give excuses of it was and blame other people, other things. We've talked about that before. We've got to be responsible for our own personal development. Take responsibility, be at cause, because when you're at cause the effects don't come into it. You create those effects, actually. And for me this is why it's important to me, I think, I'm not sure, but we may only have one life, this tiny little pinprick in the whole of the, of the universal time that started when and will finish when we may just have one little life. And what a waste it would be just to waste it, wouldn't it? How bad would that be just to waste this one thing we've got, which is us, your conscious mind, your unconscious mind and all the things you can do with both of them. And to me, I don't know about you, but to me that waste is such a bad thing. And I try to think, why is this really important to me? And I thought, well, I get guilty about wasting time. I get sad. Now, we could call them away from values, couldn't we? Because I want to get away from guilt, because I don't want to feel guilty about wasting time, and I don't want that guilt to cause me to be sad. So I wanted to think about it in a different way. It's, not the nicest thing, but I wanted to realize if I was on my deathbed, taking me last couple of breaths, hopefully a bloody long time away, but taking my last couple of breaths, would I be happy with the Cloughie that I created? Would I be happy with the things that Cloughie's done? Would I be happy with the differences I've made, made to me, made to my family, my friends, and, beyond you? You're my friend. Could I be so grateful that I didn't waste that time? And you have to think about it. How would that make me feel if I knew that I hadn't? Yeah, I know. Along the way, probably, I know I waste time, and that's what really gets me, because that's why I get guilty about it. That's why I get sad about it, because I just think, well, I've only got this one time, but I know if I strive stretch myself, how would it make me feel knowing that I really had done my best, what would I see if I look back over the timeline of my past? What would I see? The things I've done, the things I've created in me, but the effects of being and stretching to be the best version of myself, what would have happened or, what has happened in that timeline of my past? The time in business, the time helping people in therapy, with hypnosis training, people generally, just hopefully, hopefully I'd be able to say I was kind. I was a of kind man. What things could possibly I hear? What would I have heard along the way and how would that make me feel? I think I'd feel a little bit proud and probably a little bit content as well, saying, well, it, was maybe a little bit hard, but it was enjoyable. And there were some sad times, there's some guilty times and things like that. But I did my best. I tried to make something and give something back for that. So what would you do? Just take a moment, if you can, and just think, what are the things you would have liked to have done if you were on or taking your last few breaths and you were to look back over your timeline, that ultimate vision, the ultimate vision of you, what led up to it? What are the things that you did, you created, you caused to happen? And just maybe they'll just pop into your mind every now and again. The things that you did so well. You had to strive for, struggle for sometimes. What did you see? What were the look on other people's faces? What did you hear? What things did you hear yourself say? Maybe an internal voice, the external voice. What did you hear from other people? And how does it make you feel, looking back, all the things you created, striving to be the ultimate vision of you? And you see that hasn't happened. That hasn't happened, not for you, not for me, because I'm still breathing. As an in breath, I have just a little click of the fingers and a tap of my head. I'm still alive and so are you. But when you think about that ultimate vision, what you would like to look back on from that place, what would happen if you wrote that down, the person that you strive to be and created? Because that's a wonderful ultimate vision. Because if you could write that down, you could better it, couldn't you? Because now you've got something to aim for. And, when we aim for it, I think your unconscious mind, especially when you do it, and as you think about it, you feel so grateful, so good, a life well lived, you could probably go, I wonder what I can learn just from that to make it even better A few months ago, I was beating myself up for wasting time And this is where I get this reminder. And, I've noticed I get it quite a lot now, because I did have a real problem with time, I really did. A few months ago, I was beating myself up for wasting time and I kept getting this aha moment, simple ahas, Then they just kept repeating and repeating and as if my unconscious mind was trying to re remind me of what I knew. And all it says is, there's only one source, one source to your ultimate vision. One source every day, one source every hour, one source every breath. And it's your intention, your positive intention. And when you hold that ultimate vision in your mind's eye, that's your intention. And when you do that, it just means then you're not going to waste time. Because as you find yourself maybe wasting time, I know I do, I will suddenly get a kick up the bum. I'll get a reminder. No Cloughie, not this. Let's do something useful, something kind, something good. And I get in so many different variations, different contexts, as it were. I'll be reminded when I'm journaling. And sometimes I write in my journal, I go, do you know what? I'm really blank. I've got nothing to say, nothing to write, nothing. And then all of a sudden, it's as if my pen starts writing without me, and it re reminds me, so what do you want? What would you like to have? What would you like to expect to happen in your life? How can you build on what you've done and to do that? Yes, there's time for fun, because that's good, too. Because it's relaxing. It gives time to everything to settle and enjoy life, because life is to be enjoyed. But also enjoyable stretches. It's those ideas that come to mind. You go, ah, this is something to spend time on, the puzzle book. And I do sell those. No, I don't, because you can buy them. They're all in. The puzzle book is, by the way, in all good bookshops, all good stationaries, because it's basically a book with plain paper in. You can get them lined. You can go really upmarket and get them with, like, little squares on graph paper. You can get different qualities, but it doesn't matter, because then you can just think. And, writing is thinking and asking questions and finding answers, and they all seem to come back to the same thing. What is your intention? What is your desire? What do you want to have happen? So now it's about just knowing that whatever time we've got, it's to use it. I nearly wrote in my notes, don't waste it. But that's, you know, when you think about the negative, don't waste it. All you think about is wasting time. But I'm thinking about now. How can I use this moment? How can I use this time? What am I doing today? What am I doing this morning? And as I do that, holding that ultimate vision of myself, see that person I want to be, strive to be, what would they do in this moment? What thing would they choose to do to create that? Me, you know, just expanding. Expanding and learning to make life richer. And I think that's a brilliant, brilliant part, to be thinking and just learning and expanding to make our life richer. Because when our life is richer, I know the type of person you are. It means you'll be creating richer lives for other people as well. And we talk about where I talk about wheels and spokes, wheels being the different areas of my life, and the spokes being the bits that make up those different areas of my life. The context, and that's what I felt was, this keeps coming back. If you don't know what to do, pick one and start working on it. And as soon as you find yourself, I'll catch yourself. I'm talking to myself, by the way, now, not you. Catch myself doing things which aren't productive, that aren't going to make a difference. But also there is, remember, there will be joy. This is just not a struggle. This is doing things because I want to do them. I've just forgotten I got lost in the rabbit hole. So now then I can, even if nothing else, I can just say, what can I learn? Can I sit down? I've got five minutes. Can I sit down and read something that I can experience something different? Maybe I just sit and think. Maybe just see the beauty of the world. Sometimes just stopping and pausing and seeing the beauty of the world can be that one thing that helps you grow because you suddenly realize how beautiful life is, how beautiful nature is, how different nature is. You look round and try to find the same thing. You bloody can't. Everything is completely unique. Every leaf, every blade of grass, every bit of every tree. Everything is unique. There's not one identical to another. You might get identical twins, by the way, but generally, you know what I mean? And that's like you. And I'm thinking, I'm not sure because, you know, taking this responsibility to be a cause, no excuse, accept no excuses. Hold yourself. I'm talking myself again, holding myself to a better level, better standard. I'm thinking maybe I'm going to record a hypnosis track for this, just to get my unconscious mind into the habit, to break the pattern of that doom scrolling and things like that and create the habit of, just being the best version of ourselves. You have to have a think about that. If that's something you'd like, let me know, because you know, I've got all those hypnosis tracks, haven't I? I'll tell you about them now.   Paul Cloughie has put his hypnosis tracks on a separate website   So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple really. I wanted you to have them all in one place so you can look through them all. You can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable so you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer. You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the itunes or whatever, you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where do you get them? Well, there you go. I told you. It's paulcluffonline.com podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be, because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access, simple as that. I send you a link, a special link, so you and only you can access those hypnosis tracks, because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility. I don't want to make these open to everyone, just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you. I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy, have more fun than you can stand with. Hypnosis. Yeah, that was all about my hypnosis tracks. But sometimes when we start to look at stuff and say, I really want to do this, now I know what to do, I'm going to take responsibility for doing it, and you still don't do it. That's the time, I think, when we find, if we can find out what's stopping you, what's stopping me, this is the bit I'm going to do. This is my own self work. Yeah, self work. As I push myself and I get in that resistance, like a sort of resistance, by feeling a negative emotion, I'm going to search for that limiting belief that surrounds it, because that's something to work on. Now, it's your unconscious mind saying, look, there's something to learn here first, which will allow you to be free. And there's a reason, there's a positive intention behind that. Now, if we can get that and understand it and find it a better way, we can understand what our unconscious mind is doing for us, and we'll grow even, even bigger, better, richer. How do you listen to your unconscious mind to get those aha, moments? What I do if I get in my journal, just so you know, I put a bloody great star, I keep writing, then I put a big star behind it, beside it, and I'll go back and take it out and just put it on a separate piece of paper, just rewrite it, maybe make a note, keep them together. And I see a pattern. And sometime that pattern, it's, well, it's hiding in plain sight. It's just there. But sometimes we're distracted and we need that little bit of help. And when we do that, I think you find your unconscious mind gives you more ideas, more aha, moments. It begins to use that reticular activating system that starts to show or focus on the things that match up with your desires, your intentions. It's like we then start to get lucky. Coincidences just happen by coincidence. Serendipity comes and bops you on the nose with some wonderful things. So don't beat yourself up. If you're still struggling to do things and you know they're the right things to do, but you're just not being able to do it, what are you going to do? Well, listen to your emotions, because emotions are feeling, but listen to it. Sit quietly, put your attention, your awareness, just into the feeling and ask, what are you trying to do for me? What could I do for you? How is this keeping me safe? Is there a better way? What can I learn from this? You ask those questions with your puzzle book, your pen and paper. You will find wonderful answers. And if you can't, if you've struggled a little bit, you know what to do. You can email me. Say that again more clearly. Cloughie. You can email me@feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged.com. And just give me a little bullet point. This is the thing I'm, wanting to do. And this is what I'm struggling. And this is a type of emotion I'm feeling. Maybe you understand the limiting belief, but if you don't, don't worry. One of the things of finding that limiting belief, you go into that emotion, you put your awareness there and you just ask, what do I believe about myself when I have this feeling? And you might get something like, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm an idiot, I'm stupid. I get those and then I go, okay, well, I know that's not quite true. So what are you trying to do for me? How are you holding me back from doing this? Because I haven't got enough maybe competent skills. So now I know to look for them, to learn from, to find somebody to help me. You can email me to get that help, but just sit with those questions and be open to listening, listening with, say, all your senses. Because sometimes it doesn't come as a word, a sentence, a voice. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, like me, it just comes randomly in that journal. But my unconscious mind knows I, want to journal every morning so he can let me know. Then sometimes it might be as a memory suddenly flash into your mind. It might be suddenly a thought that goes, learn this. Look, here's a book. Take five minutes, have a look. Serendipity calls. So many things we could do. And then we know when we're taking our last breath, whenever that is not for a long time for both of us. We'll be able to go, I'm pretty content at that. I've done well. I've done well. Maybe we can then just say, yeah, I've been kind, and it's been a good life, not a wasted life. It's been fruitful. It's been caring and helpful to others, too. Now, wouldn't that be good? Wouldn't that be good? So think about the hypnosis. If you'd like a hypnosis track, I'll produce one. Got some ideas about hypnosis tracks. Now, I'm going to do them slightly differently, so, I might try, try that out on that one I have to see, but let me know if that's something of interest to you. Also let me know if there's something that you're finding a little struggle with, like a little barrier that you can't quite get through over, around, and I'll help you with that. And, yeah, that's it. The only thing you have to do is a couple of things The only thing you have to do is a couple of things. Could you share this with somebody by just talking about it in your own words and notice what's stuck, notice what's different, maybe because sometimes when you repeat things, you go, ah, I've put a different slant on that. And if you do, you have to come back to me and tell me. Well, I thought this came up to mind. Cloughie, what do you think about this? Because I want to know all the different connotations, how this all fits together, and by your experiences, you'll filter it differently, and I'd love to hear about that. So try sharing it by verbalizing it. If not, try to write it down without listening. Just write it down on that puzzle. But what did I learn from this, this podcast? What did Cloughie say? How can I learn from this and make it even better? Because you can always make it better. That's what I do when I look and try to model people. What can I learn, and how can I make it better? Let's see what we can do. Take all their experiences in one go and make it better. There you go. And if you do accidentally press that subscribe button, that would be a good accident, wouldn't it? You could sit back on your. Taking your last breath. Last breath. Get it right, Cloughie, and go, it's been a good life, and I did press that subscribe button. See, I can't even say it properly now. Anyway. Have more fun than you can stand. That's the thing. You have to do more fun than you can stand. And I'll be back with the shorter five minute quickie podcasts, things to muse about and longer podcasts. So please enjoy. And again, as I say, have more fun than you can start. Babana warn me you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

I'm Scarred and Imperfect Part 1 Let's celebrate just how we are and then learn how to we can change to be who we wish to be and have what we wish to have. We do need to acknowledge where we are in this striving to be the best version of ourselves so we can build on it, start and continue to build from a firm and stable foundation. To me - We're all a ikkle bit broken or a little bit damaged, we've all got a few 'isms' and we carry a little bit of baggage and that's great! Because when we do truthfully acknowledge this to ourselves we can begin to make meaningful changes, which I guess is why you listen hear. When we try to deny that imposter syndrome ism, guilt ism, anxiety ism and every other emotional ism you can think of we will continue the internal conflict and waste that valuable energy we have. Let's use it to create a life we can be proud of. As usual I'll share some personal stories and insights. In this episode we'll lay all the ground work for the changes you want to make ready for part 2. I won't keep you hanging for part 2 so get your skates on and DO THE WORK, which isn't hard but you have to do it if you want the results - and I know you do  :O) Please share the episode so others may learn too https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/386-im-scarred-and-imperfect-part-1     Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis] Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback.  If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com   If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie  I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on  SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Heads up to the longer podcast. It'll come on in the next few days   So here's your heads up. Heads up to the longer podcast. I'm scarred. I'm imperfect. Yay. I say, yay. Yay. Yeah. I'm celebrating. I'm celebrating and acknowledging that we're all a little bit broken, we're all a little bit damaged, we're all a little bit ism'd. And that's great because that means when we acknowledge it, we are going to change our world in such a wonderful way. And if you'd like to do that, have a listen after the little 15 2nd intro.   So, just to let you know, before we get into the whole of this podcast, when I recorded it, it just went on in a good way. And I felt there's a time when we should split it up in the middle so we can let things just integrate the thoughts, get together, and then hit the second half where we really get deep into the process of being able to look at these imperfections, these scars, and, make a difference to our lives. So look out for that. I'm not going to leave you hanging and have you hanging days and days and weeks and weeks. It'll come on in the next, I think the next three or four days. Okay, so listen to this first half, get into it, and then following few days will come that second half. But I think that'll give you time to really, I don't know, get your mind processing what we can do.   We're back with a longer podcast. I'm scared. He's not scared   Okay, here we go. Boom. And we're back with a longer podcast. I'm scared. He's not scared. I'm scared. I'm imperfect. That was a title.   You have to be honest about what you're thinking about, m   And, I have a question for you. I've got a question. Are you open? Open to what? Cloughie open. To be honest. maybe you might think. Honest about what? Well, let me tell you, m, I'll go through a few things. Have you seen that t shirt? The t shirt is advertised on a lot of social media. And it says, I'm broken with the okay in the middle is brighter, so you see it looks like I'm okay. But then you read it a little bit closer and it says, I'm broken. With that funny smiley face with a bandage or two and a cut and things like that, and a little plaster. I love it. I bought one. I thought about it for such a long time because I just loved that. Just love the emoji of it all. I'm broken. And let's admit it, we're all a bit, aren't we? We're all a bit broken. Somewhere. Some people maybe think they're broken more than others, but we've all got a little bit inside us, I think. Just, a little bit broken. Here's another one for you. Hear it. Hear it being talked about. Other people saying they're damaged. But I'm damaged. Yeah, that could be you speaking, couldn't it? And I hear you. I'm damaged. You are damaged. So am I. And so is every other bugger. Everyone. He's just a little bit damaged. I don't care what they say. I, know they're damaged. Yeah, we do. We are. We're a little bit broken. We're a little bit damaged. Everyone's got a bloody ism. They have. I've got an ism. Perfectionism. Knowing I can never be perfect. I mean, that's a real conflict in itself. And it comes from. Yeah, I'm not good enough. And, we've all got one of those, haven't, we. We've all got that. We've all got the other isms. Depression. Depression. Ism. Fear of missing out ism. I'm an imposter ism. We've all got those. We've all got them in bits, you know, we got little bits of it. Different criteria. Not different criteria, different context. I, may be as confident as anybody in the world in one context, and I could be a scared little mouse. Maybe in another context, maybe not quite.   Scared.   But we all think we're an impostor somewhere along the line, in a context or other. But you have to be honest. You have to be open to be honest. Somewhere we have these things going on, maybe not, you know, so they're massive, massive, massive. But if you go through your life and the things you've done maybe yesterday or the week, in the week, and just notice when you just felt a little bit m. that wasn't good. Oh, I felt a bit scared. Felt a little bit broken. Maybe I thought I was missing out. Maybe I thought, buck and me, they'll find me out here.   You know.   Shall I go on? Shall I go on? Yes, I will go on. I will. I want to get personal. Not with you. Not with you, of course. Well, I will. But this is about me, you see. I'm an introvert. Now, is that broken?   Maybe.   M maybe sometimes when it'll be better to be not extrovert, but be open and connected as opposed to sitting in the corner or it feels like I'm sitting in the corner, even when I'm, in a room with people, sometimes I think, I think too much. They are thinking about thinking too much, and it bogs me down. I wonder why I do that. We don't ask why here. I wonder, what could I learn from that? But on the other hand, I know sometimes I don't think enough.   Do you ever get lonely? Do you ever feel isolated   So again, we've got another dichotomy, we've got another conflict. I get lonely. Do you? Do you ever get lonely? And I don't necessarily mean, like, the big pandemic of loneliness that we're experiencing in the world now, but there are times when I just feel quite lonely now, whether that's because I'm an only child. And when you're an only child, what do you do? You think a lot. You talk to yourself. There's no other bugger around to talk to, to play with. And, maybe sometimes that's good, but other times feel I might be missing out, you know, from siblings, people who maybe protect you, maybe push you up, support you, maybe they knock you down. I don't know. We're all a little bit like that, are we? Or is that just me? Does any of this resonate with you? What else? What about you? I've been open. I've been honest. I mean, I get angry too much. I'm working on that, and it's gone down a lot, at least I think it has. So all these things I'm working at, and working on with myself, some of them aren't m quite. They're not very comfortable. But I do know each one of those is just a little bit broken. He's just a little bit damaged. He's a little bit, you know, an ism of some kind. But I know they're all trying, you know, each one is trying to do something for me. It just doesn't feel that way sometimes, does it? You know, if you're feeling a little bit scared, not scarred this time, but scared, a bit fearful, bit anxious.   So.   Can you say, you know, you don't go through the week and you're not a little bit anxious, if you don't, that's awesome. You crack that code. But is there something else? Maybe a little bit, you know, when you're going to work or when, you know, how many of us have that conversation, which we know, we know it's the conversation to have, and we bottle it. I don't know if that's just a UK term, but we bottle it. We not bottle it up. we just bottle it by getting scared. We can't go through with it. And then we think too much.   And.   Then we get angry, maybe. And you have thoughts about other people, you know, what do they do? What am I doing? You know? So it's like being an imposter in your own life sometimes, but not massive. hopefully you can see when I talk to you, you know, reasonably sane, can hold a bit of a conversation, communicate, connect. I can learn stuff. I, share stuff. But there's these little things in the background just inside. And they're going to stay there unless you're open to be honest about them. You have to bring them out in the open. Bring them out into the light. Sometimes just bringing these things up into the light, into the light of your open mind is enough to look at it and go, well, I don't know where that came from, but that's not me. Oh, I remember where that came from. Yeah, I can understand how I felt that way, but not anymore. So now I've got to change. I can change. This is a lovely little reframe. But how can you bring them all out into the open? Because I don't want it to be super depressive. Because I've come out with my bits and I'm happy with that. Not happy that I've got them, but I'm happy that, you know, there are things I can work on. So how do you bring them out in the open? Or maybe you can do a Cloughie mind map. And my sort of mind maps are just with a circle, and lots of lines coming off. I don't necessarily do lots of lines off lines, but just little headings off each one. So a mind map, my imperfections, because none of us are perfect, are they? Are we? So it'd be nice just to bring out into the light, into delight my imperfections. And there'll be a flip side to this, I promise. There is. There is a flip side. If I want to start anywhere, I always start on the down because I love to finish on a high. So stay with me. Stay with me. But yes, you'd have to get a piece of paper, a book, your puzzle book, your idea book, whatever it is, a piece of paper. Don't do it in your head, because if you do it in your head, you'll never be able to come back to it. And it's not bringing it into the. Into the light, is it? See, I've written these down.   And,   I'm going to do something with them. Well, I'm doing something with them anyway. But I'll explain what I'm doing. So write down a little. Draw a little line away from that big circle in the middle of that paper which says my imperfections, and just write them down. You know, sometimes I think too much. Sometimes I get a little scared and just say the context. Sometimes I get a little anxious about. Sometimes I, this imposter at work. That's what I feel. Maybe feel imposter with your, with your friends. Which is crazy, because I just said in the sentence, you're friends. But it isn't crazy, is it? Because that's what we feel, and it's just an emotion. And emotions are there to, teach us something until we've learned it, and then they'll disappear. So that's where we're going.     Cloughie says sometimes the lonely and the sad go together   So just write them down and just notice. And we're not going to criticize ourselves. We're not going to we're certainly not going to edit them as you think of them. You I'll say that a bit more clearly as you think of them. Just write them down. So, you know, I do get lonely. I'm not lonely 100%, but I do get lonely occasionally. I do get sad occasionally. Sometimes the lonely and the sad go together. And I can actually sometimes link those together. I had a pretty deep experience of that, which is quite weird. I was looking for something really positive, and I came out with loneliness.   And   That affected me for a day. Not grossly. I could have worn my I'm broken t shirt for a day. But then, I got into it. But I'll tell you how I did that. You see, you have lived, haven't you? You've lived a life. You have life experiences. You've had experiences. Some of them will be absolutely brilliant and give you the confidence to carry on and do other stuff. They will affect other areas of your life. The ripples of that confidence will affect more than one context. But just like that, by having experiences and lived a life, we'll have had a few experiences that have scarred us, created these little. We could call them imperfections. And I only call them that is because I'd like to change them then. And they're never going to be perfect, but they're, just little imperfections. And you see, by bringing them into light, weirdly, I want to celebrate them. I want to celebrate being able to be honest with myself, celebrate being totally authentic with myself. I nearly swore then so did the rest. I'm not thinking about other people, about being authentic to everyone out there. Because you can't be authentic, really authentic, until you're authentic with yourself, until you're open and honest with yourself, because that's a safe place to be. You can have a little chat with yourself and go, okay, got to work on this. You talked yourself with your best friend as your best friend. Okay, Cloughie. So what are you going to do about this loneliness? Well, I changed that, you see, into a, into a superpower. I worked on that and, I'll tell you how that came about. Maybe, maybe, maybe this episode, maybe another episode, see how we get on. But I want to bring them out and celebrate. Celebrate that, this is me. Because, you see, I've already done a mind map of my qualities ages ago. And you see, when we're celebrating, we're simply acknowledging, acknowledging our imperfections, the things we would like to change. Bringing them out into the open to the light of day, as I say, as I said before, because when you acknowledge them, don't accept them. I have this thing about acceptance. If you accept them, you're accepting. In my mind, you're accepting it as it's being okay. It's okay to be, and it is, by the way. But I'd rather just acknowledge, acknowledge this emotion, those emotions. Because we acknowledge good emotions or say positive emotions and the ones we feel that are negative or give us a negative emotion, we just, yeah, we could just acknowledge them and it takes away their power. As soon as I wrote these things down, they were out. They're not bubbling inside. I'm not trying to push them down. I'm not trying to fight them. Because when you fight them, they just get stronger because they're trying to do something for you. And you're going, no, I don't want to learn. And they're going, well, you're going to have this emotion double then, until you get it Cloughie. But as soon as you bring them out, whoa, you get to own it. And just by owning it, I'll say that again properly, just by owning it, you get a little bit more inner confidence. Not like the pain in the ass people who are so ego led and overconfident. You see, the reason people are that confident is because they're not. They're trying to hide it from you and themselves. I know they have anxieties, they have fears, they have all those isms, and they're overcompensating. We've all seen those people. They are a pain in the ass, but we've all seen them. And if you could get them one to one and to be honest with themselves, they would admit to it, but they try to hide it. And the more you hide it, the more you push it down, the more it just fights back, as it were. So that's why I say, when we acknowledge these imperfections in air quotes, we really are, being truly authentic. You see, that's when you can really start working on yourself or working with yourself. See, we sort of celebrate, but, I don't want to celebrate them. And going, yeah, I'm so pleased that I'm a lonely old person who just thinks too much and. No, no, no, no. Because that's just being a bit of a dick. And that's what I call myself, by the way. Not you. I have this thing Cloughie. Sometimes you're a dick cloughy. Get back. Get back into the world and look at it for what it is. Because that's how I compliment myself. Cloughie, you're a dick. But I've made a little note of this. A well intentioned dick. Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.   We think we should be perfect, but being perfect never happens   Anyway, you see, we do think, I think, we think anyway, that we should be perfect. We have to be perfect. Certainly, if you've got I'm, and I'm not good enough. Below the surface, there's another belief. But the behaviors we have and the thoughts we have is, well, if I'm really perfect, no one's going to pick me up. No one can find my fault. And that's never going to happen. Never ever going to happen. Because you're never going to be perfect. That's why I sell, I say sometimes celebrate our imperfections, because you might as well, because, now they're out, you can celebrate the fact that they're out into the open, because being perfect is never going to happen. And so on.   I've split this up into two parts so you don't get tired   that note, this is where we're going to stop, part one. And all I want you to do is just sit with that mind map. Don't do anything with it. Don't have to think about it for the moment, because it's a tool that we're going to use in part two. So just get it out on paper. And then in just a couple of days time, the next one will be out, part two. And we're really going to make the difference. The difference that makes a difference, where the ripples of change will go further and wider than you could ever believe. And guess what? It's really simple. Because in simple there's genius, or in simplicity there's genius. And I really want you to get the best of it, which is why I've split this up in two now, so you don't get tired. You can concentrate on one, and then you can really focus on the second part where the change happens. So do have fun, take a breath, relax, do the work, and then we'll be ready. I'm giving you time to make this change so wonderful. There you go. So I'll see you. I'll be with you in the next couple of days or in the next. Well, put it, part two. It's not gonna be very long. Okay, have fun. It's time to fly. Until the next time. Bye bye.   Paul Clough launches personal development Unplugged podcast   M. Warner, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged. Hey, welcome. Welcome to the personal development Unplugged podcast. So pleased you're here. Your time is valuable and precious. So what I would like to do is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny, golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams, to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, neuro linguistic programming, all of that. Using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real, solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great, and then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams and get what you really want in life. Anyway, who am I? I'm, Paul. Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes, because we're going to have so much fun. That's it. We're going to have fun for a change, because we can sit down for a spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation, the only limitation is your imagination. And you've got bucket loads, by the way. Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must.

The Direct Debit Of Investing In You And Your Success What a mouthful and seems very technical It's a metaphor   :O) In the financial world, people talk about capital and compound interest In the networking world, people talk about social capital And it got me thinking 'What about our world, the world of our personal development?' -you and me. How can we use the principles of financial investing and networking that work on ourselves? Digging the well before you are thirsty (that's not my phrase by the way I've borrowed it. And I have got some 'How too's' in this episode that I think make sense, are simple (we like simple) and if you do them they will increase your success and confidence compoundly (if that's a word- it is now). So come with me on this not too longa dive and let's learn ways to make our lives better. Please share all that you learn so you learn even more deeply https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/384-the-direct-debit-of-investing-in-you-and-your-success Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,     And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This is personal development unplugged with Paul Clough   You.   Hey, your heads up for the direct debit of your success. I've gone into the financial world and found within the financial world and its setup there are things that we can learn. I've gone to the connection world networking world and found there's something we can use there and put them both together for our own better selves, our own personal development. Have a listen. I hope it makes sense.   This is personal development unplugged, with Paul Clough. I want to talk to you about investments. Can you believe that? Investments. Hey friend, how we doing today   In simplicity there is genius.   In simplicity there is genius.   Hey friend, how we doing today? And I want to talk to you about investments. Can you believe that? Investments. And no, it's not an advert.   You see, it's all about capital. Investing your capital, creating your capital.   And we all know, don't we?   We all know that if you invest the right way, you get things like.   Compound interest, don't you? It's interest on interest and interest on interest on interest.   And I think a lot of people.   Get a bit confused by that. And no, I'm not going to explain it because I get confused by it too. I just know it works.   But I was listening to other people.     Social capital is giving service, selfless   Talk about it, about this, you see, because there was a term and I think it's still used, called social capital and what social capital, because it was a buzword and maybe it still is, I don't know.   But social capital was I guess brought.   In around the term networking. Networking in business, especially for entrepreneurs.   But that's BS anyway, because the social capital of an individual didn't matter whether.   You'Re an entrepreneur, if you're working.   Just by yourself, or whether you're just.   Working with other people.   As an employee, you all required social capital. We all do.   And what is social capital?   Well, it's your contacts, your contacts in your career.   This is where it came from, the networking. But obviously there's social contacts as well. And I remember the very, my early days of touching this networking. And it used to be like 1 minute networking, five minute networking.   And it used to just be like hot tables.   You go in there, hand a card over to somebody you did not want to do or give work to other people, you really just wanted work for yourself.   It was so self centered, really was.   There was no social capital at all.   In that.   It was win, not win win. You had to win at all costs, you had to get one up on everything. And that really didn't work because everybody knew it. And you used to get all those cards and used to put them in.   The bin, you really did.   Apart from the OD, one that you thought a guy was nice. And that's where the social capital comes from, because you made contacts. And then it changed. And it's changed. Well, it's changed for some. And I know the people who make it work.   The social capital is giving service, selfless.   Service for others, to create a network of friends. Not necessarily friends, but business friends, business colleagues, people who you could help. And, maybe one day, one day.   They could help you.   But that isn't the reason. The reason is just to get this social network. So you just get to, in times of crisis, I guess that's the real reason for it. You can call upon people just to reciprocate the help that you gave them. So there is a little bit of reciprocation there, I guess. But there is so much more giving than receiving. And it just works. Because what happens is people give back without you asking for the things. Because they feel good about it too. They want to, reciprocate. They want to do things selflessly. And therefore it's called digging the well before you're thirsty. Dig the well before you need it.   The law of reciprocity.     Capital and compound interest and social capital all apply to personal development   And you see, you've got all of that, and you're probably thinking now, you are probably thinking, and quite rightly so, where's he going with this?   What's Cloughie doing now?   And what the hell's this got to.   Do with personal development? Self improvement and,   Being better today than yesterday? All that stuff he's talked about. Where is he going? And that's exactly what I thought. No, sort of. Because I, listening to all this thing.   About capital and compound interest and also social capital, I thought to myself, this.   Really does apply to our personal development.   To being better today than yesterday. Because it got me thinking, how could we direct these thoughts of capital, compound.   Interest with capital that creates in a, compound interest in us, in our personal development? How could it be directed to creating a better me? How could it be directed to me.   Being a better me?   And, when I say me also.   Mean you, because you're my mate.   So us, how could this thing about social capital and, if we.   Could model it, what well would we need to dig to invest in us?   Because that's what it is, isn't it? We all said it's investment. Investment in a career, maybe.   Contacts, connections, compound interest. How could we dig a well that actually created something better in us? Good metaphor, I thought, because it's all about investing in who? Absolutely. Ourselves. But then I thought about it.   It's not investing in ourselves, in big dollops. I love the word dollop today. Not in big dollops, but in small deposits. I don't know which one sounds better after when you talk about that, but investing in small deposits that add up over time. So I suppose you could call them regular small dollops.   And I thought, well, how could we invested ourselves over time in regular small dollops that would then create a capital in us and create compound interest, create a network of learning, maybe. Oh, see, I thought learning small investments every day with obviously an intention, got to have a.   Why?   Why is it important to you to learn? It's no point in just saying, oh, I just want to, learn something because I know people, and I know you do, and I've talked about it before, who know a bit about everything.   They know stuff that will never, ever be used. But I do think sometimes, on the.   Flip side of that, it's good to learn lots of different things as well, to keep your interest going, to keep that muscle going, because like this, if.   I wasn't thinking about capital, compound interest.   And this social capital, I wouldn't have.   Got this into my head about investing.   In ourselves and creating a capital in ourselves. But actually, just sitting down and maybe reading for ten minutes a day could be something difficult. Because if you. If you read something a little bit more difficult than you can normally handle, your brain starts to work, your unconscious mind really starts to get into gear, and that muscle works. And then when you start to learn other stuff, the stuff that you're really interested in, boom.   Yeah, compound interest.   The thing is not too much, I.   Don'T want these big dollops, because if.   You start really pushing the boundaries of.   Everything, we can get into overwhelm. And the thing about it is, I.   Said, you can learn. I know people who know a lot about everything, but do absolutely soddle. I know other people who know very, I can say, know very little, but.   Their scope is quite small, but they know it inside out and they use it.   That's the one I prefer. But then building on that inside out.   Knowing what you know, doing what you do, and, building that knowledge, becoming the mastery or the master of what you know.   So you set, a schedule, as it were.   I'm just going to read something for.   Ten minutes a day. On one day, it'll be something maybe.   A little bit different, but you'll see similarities in it.   And another day I'm going to read.   Something on the thing that's going to.   Really develop me a way of learning, a way of doing something, maybe reading, if you're like a therapist, you'd maybe dive into a different process, understand something. And I think the more you do.   That.   It'S like compound interest, you will.   Suddenly find that you know so much more and you can do so much more.   So that compound interest is really starting to begin without you knowing it. And isn't that the thing about, like, investing in small dollops? You don't really notice it at the time, so it's not really hitting if it's. If it was money hitting your pocket that much. But when you look back and you go, crikey, where did all that come from? Because I heard a story, I don't.   Know the story about this family that.   Didn'T have much money.   And when they got to the end of the week, they had only, a little bit of money left.   Not enough money to buy more food, drink, things like that. So what they would do is they'd go out and buy a lottery ticket with the hope, and I love hope, hope of winning some money.   Don't know whether they ever did, really.   But I thought, what would happen if they just invested in themselves, as it were, by just putting that small amount.   Of money to one side, even if.   They didn't put it into a bank or anything.   Maybe four weeks later, they've got a whole day's meal. And I just don't know why that struck me, because it was more about thinking, well, small bits add up over time.   They do, don't they?     Start small, small dollops and it's regular, you start to build   I mean, you try learning something which is really big in a big dollop, you get overwhelmed.   But if you start small, small dollops, and it's regular, you start to build.   And then you can take on more. So that small dollop, say, a month.   Ago, is completely different to the small.   Dollop you're doing now. The small dollop you're doing now is.   Probably twice as big as when you first started, and it's going to make a difference. See, that's like the compound interest, isn't it? So the 1% you're creating a better you by than the day before, that.   1% is of such a bigger thing, bigger baseline.   And, that's all maths.   But maths can be good.   But I think it all comes down to the intention you have of creating capital in yourself. I think it's really important that we.   Do that, because we also get.   I think the more we do it, and we do it in this nice, evolving way, we also get to enjoy it.   We enjoy that.   It's not so much of a struggle that it's too hard. But it's a little bit of a.   Struggle because it's a little bit different.   But when we look back, we go.   Wow, I enjoyed that. And now look at me now. Now look at m me now look at me now.   Oh, by the way, here's one thought. I did have this dig in.   The well. Thing is, it'll never really be dug, will it?   Because you can always dig a little deeper into something. You can always find a little bit more. And, isn't that exciting? Always something new to learn.   And then when you learn it, creating even more capital is you get to share it. And when you share it, we,   Said you have something, you share it with somebody else, but it's in your mind, it's what you've learned.   You still have it now they have it.   So you're helping other people, they will help you. But the thing is, it's not just sharing.   You get to know that you know it.   You also get to know, if you.   Don'T know it, where you need to invest a bit more.   And because you're doing it for no want of return, you just want to.   Share what you know, provided obviously people want to listen.   But as you share it, because you can also share it, by the way, that you just hold yourself by example.   You don't have to tell everybody. You can be the example of what you've learned, and it'll make a difference then.   So you're making a difference to yourself.   By really honing in your skills, making.   A difference to others, because you're making.   What you've learned available to them, too. And as they take it, on.   You'Re making a difference because you'll never know how far the ripples of this change will go.   The sharing will go.   I never know how far it goes, but I just know it goes really far and wide.   It's like that flapping of a butterfly.   On one side of the world, creating a storm of wonder on the other side. And the thing is, I thought about this. it's a weird thing.   You know, we talk about, do we direct debits?   I don't know what you call them in, the US, we have them, and if we want to pay a regular installment to somebody, we create a direct debit.   And every month that money goes out.   Of your account and into theirs, you're investing into that.   Well, what about habits?   Making a direct debit into your own habits. Again, it's that same thing of scheduling, isn't it?   One at a time. So there's no overwhelm. No overwhelm will ever sneak in.   When you are consistent, and that's what the direct debit is.   It's a consistent of paying in.   And when you're consistent, you are creating.   Good habits in yourself.   And therefore, those dollops don't seem to be, well, they're not something you would put, oh, no, I've got to do this. You go, no, I want to do this because something's going to happen.   Something's going to be really good. And the real win of this, I.   Think, is you are ultimately taking responsibility.   For you, it's our responsibility to be responsible for ourselves. No excuses, then no complaints.   You are at cause because you get to say those words, I get to do this. I'm responsible for my change.   Because you're responsible for your change.   I'm responsible for my change.   And you can say the same thing. And then with a little help, say, from the hypnosis tracks, we've got.   Maybe some past episodes just to spark things in, because sometimes, yeah, we go off track a little bit, and we might want that hypnotrack to bring us back into line. Maybe just set a nice goal, maybe to see things from different perspective, maybe to get creative, maybe to be able to anchor things, set our intentions.   They're all there, by the way.   There's 65 hypnosis tracks.     Paul Clough: Investing in yourself is often overlooked   I've got@paulcluffonline.com podcast, and they're all free, so you can just go down there, guys. I was feeling a little bit, oh, there's 120 minutes.   Boom, that's your investment for the day. And then we look back, we do our review.   It's like scheduling a review, and it's.   Like, really, when you think about investing.   everyone has a. Most people, anyway, have an annual financial review. See how my money has performed. And you look back and say, see.   How I have performed?   Where can I improve?   What have I learned?   And I can even do more of.   Maybe there's a couple of things that.   I really want to get a little bit better at. I didn't realize, realize I could do all of this. Now.   This is my interests.   And it all comes down to one.   Blindingly obvious and usually overlooked investing in yourself.   Because no other person will ever do it for you.   No one.   And if we just keep making a.   Small change, every small change will add.   Up to massive results.   And I want you to feel that.   You know, you can do this. You want to do this. Because I don't know what this part is, other than creating and living the.   Life that you really want. And it's so friggin easy. It's also so friggin easy to forget.   And this is why this is a reminder for me.   Reminder for you, I think, because you.   Know, you know this, but sometimes we just need a little reminder.   Little tap on the head. Just oyoi.   Remember this.   It's only small, but it's not insignificantly small.   It's significantly significant.   Remember, regular small dollops.   Enjoy. I hope you enjoyed that. It was something which is completely different to the normal personal, development stuff we do here. But I just thought it makes a lot of sense, taking something from somewhere else and putting into ourselves and noticing we can learn from all different aspects, which is why, when I say learning, learn from different areas of life, you'll.   Find a similarity somewhere.   Something you can model, something you can use.   So there you, go. Don't get thirsty. Have fun.   And please do share this.   Because as you said, as I said before, as you share, you will grow. It's an investment in yourself just to.   Share what you know and do what you know and know what you do.   Become the master of being.   You have. Have more fun than you can stand.   Okay. Bye bye. You are now leaving the uncloved mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.

Fanning The Flames and Nipping The Bud Wouldn't it be great to have a metaphor and use it for two things not just one? We all have issues (don't we? or is it just me?) that if we dealt with them early would never become an issue and Don't we all get those intuitive idea moments when we look back and say if only I had acted on them - Or is that just me again?   :O) In this episode, I think I have found a way to do both, deal with issues quickly and act upon those moments of inspiration. I'll also mix up my metaphors which I think will really get into both your conscious and unconscious minds and you will begin to act and make so many positive changes in your life. The best thing is you will be taking responsibility for both nipping your negative issues before they start to take hold and fanning the motivation to create success. Please share this episode to help others and hit that subscribe/follow button: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/381-fanning-the-flames-and-nipping-the-bud Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Paul Clough uses metaphor to talk about letting go of negative stuff Hey, friend, how are you today? Genuine question. How are you today? Is there any smoke with your fire, or is there any fire with your smoke? Not quite sure which way that goes. No smoke without fire or no fire without smoke? I think it's smoke without fire, isn't it? I don't, know. It's just one of those things that people say, and it's normally directed at people, who have been accused of something, isn't it? And  whether they're guilty, whether they're innocent. They always say, well, there's no smoke without fire. And I don't think that's particularly useful. I don't know what it does. I don't know whether it just makes people just something to talk about, I guess. And that, to me, isn't useful. But I thought about this saying, no smoke without fire, because I wanted to change it to ourselves. What would happen if we took that sentence, no smoke without fire in relations to both issues, our issues, yours and mine, and dreams, dreams, goals, things like that, those type of dreams. Not the sleepy night. Night dreams. I, know you're saying, I even wrote in my notes, ffs. Cloughie. What? But maybe you'll just say it more precisely and neatly at that, saying, what are you talking about? Cluffy. And you would, and you could. No smoke without fire. Let's turn it onto ourselves, because that's what we're talking about today Let's turn it onto ourselves, because that's what we're going to be talking about today, turning this particular phrase onto our dreams and onto our issues. And how can we use it? Because I think it's great. Because, you see, before the flame, I think there always is just a little smoke. I can see when you're, when you're lighting a fire, yes, there's obviously the flame to start it, but it's only a tiny little flame on that kindle. And then it begins to smoke, and then the wind gets it, fans it, doesn't it? And then the flames come. And if it. If I'm totally wrong, I'm, not. Because this is my metaphor, okay? And in my metaphor, there's a little bit of smoke before it goes into a flame Every issue starts off small, and most of the time it does So having said that into my metaphor, what am I talking about? Well, I'm going to say the issues, they always start off small. Now, I, know that's a real generality, a big generality. Every issue starts off small, and most of the time it does. Okay? You might get a significant emotional event that really kicks off something, and we can deal with those. But I'm not talking about those type of ones. I'm talking the ones that just smolder. Or in another metaphor, like a little snowball. If you were at the top of a hill and you just got a little bit of snow, because there's snow on the hill, by the way, all the way down, and you made a little snowball, as big as your hand, and you put it at the top of the hill and you just tipped it. And because it's my metaphor, it begins to roll all by itself. And as it begins to roll slowly down that hill, it begins to gather more snow and gets bigger. And you don't really notice that it's getting bigger. but it just is because it's just picking up little bits as it goes along. I, know on this snowball, there's a lovely positive intention. I'll explain what I'm talking about in a minute because I know this is quite random, but the snowball just keeps doing the same thing, keeps picking up more and more, getting bigger and bigger. And you see that snowball, that's the start of the issue, by the way. Could be way, way back, way, way back to something so small that if you were to know about it now, you'd go, m, okay, I can see how that would have affected me or affected somebody else. If you were like a therapist and you're looking at somebody else's issue, yeah, that's a small thing, but if I was that age again, it would affect me the same. It would be not highly significant, but it would have had that effect. It would have had an effect on me where my unconscious mind would have said, oh, I didn't really like that feeling very much. So it's that type of. It's not hugely traumatic. It's just don't really like that. I'm going to do something for you. Positive intention. I want to keep you safe and away from those type of feelings. And that's what it does. And then as it rolls down the hill, it finds more events which are similar. So it generalizes itself into more areas of your life, trying to protect you, keeping you safe from that feeling. But now it's generalized it into different areas of your life, and it just keeps going. And every time something comes along which is similar, it triggers, it kicks it in. And sometimes you don't notice it until maybe now, or something is starting to get to you, and you start to say, well, I'm starting to feel anxious so much more often now, or every time I see that person, or every time I think about that particular thing. I never used to get this anxious. Oh, my confidence has gone now. Oh, No, I'm going to have to try to find an excuse. Oh, could I just put it off a little bit? What am I going to do? And then you start thinking, well, I've got to do it. And then to try to come up with the best solution, you think of all the things that could go wrong in an effort, unconsciously, to make you aware of all the things that could go wrong in every event. Then you get your overwhelm, and then you go, oh, no. Then you get panic at that. It just goes on, doesn't it? Say, can you see how that snowball just got bigger and bigger? But what would happen, do you think, if we could nip that smoke in the bud? Mixed metaphors. Good. We love mixed metaphors. But if you could nip that smoke in the bud, you can imagine. And, how do you do that? That's a learning thing. If you were to learn as soon as possible what your unconscious mind is trying to do, and then realize that it's no longer working, it's no longer appropriate. The behaviors, the thoughts, the emotions are no longer appropriate, and they're not really protecting you, you could come up with a different sequence, a different way to keep you safe. Yeah, you could, couldn't you? So how do we nip this smoke in the bud for me? You see, these are just simple little ways. And in simple, I'm going to say that really properly, in simplicity, there is genius. Because we don't have to go through all the high, convoluted, complicated ways which sometimes abound. This bloody industry. Sometimes it's just sitting down quietly and reviewing your week We pair it back to simples, and sometimes it's for me, and I guess it is for you, too. You could just review. What do you mean, Cloughie? Well, this is what I mean. Sometimes it's just sitting down quietly and you could do it daily. Oh, no, not this thing. You could ask me to write it down. Cloughie, maybe, maybe. But sometimes just review. How have I been behaving? How I've been thinking. I'd say this again, my words. How have I been talking to myself? And you see, once you realize that, because you could well be. You're having great times and this isn't. Issues can be good, by the way. We can have good issues and not so good issues. So the good issues, we want to keep that snowball running and getting bigger. And obviously, if they're negative issues, we want to stop it there and then. So we could just sit down, maybe sometimes just once a week, as we're doing our review of the week and looking for the next week, just sitting down and going, how am I happy the way I'm behaving? Because sometimes I'd go, and this is personal, I don't tell anybody, and I'm working on this. I used to get really angry about things. And the anger wouldn't just be in my head. It wouldn't be just the pictures I made. It wouldn't be just the words that I said to myself, maybe about myself or other people. They would come out, I'd express it, and I'd express it either verbally or nonverbally now, passive aggressive and all that shit. And if I didn't catch myself there and then. Because normally it's quite difficult, isn't it? When you're in the bottle, reading the label is bloody difficult. I love that little metaphor there. But when you're in that situation, it's very difficult to suddenly just stand aside and look at yourself and go, what a dick. But that's what I do when I review my week. I look at myself, how did I behave? How did I think? Cloughie, that was a dick move, really was. And if I think about it, and this is the thing, if it's a negative thing, well, it can be negative or positive because it's great to do this. What are the consequences? What were the consequences right then What are the consequences? We've talked about this before in that, anger, letting go of anger, dealing with anger. What are the consequences? What were the consequences right then? How did it affect other people? How did it affect myself? We don't have to go way into the future because we're going to nip it in the bud. Remember? Nip that flame in the bud. how would it affect. How did it affect other people? How did it affect myself? And be really honest, and when I call myself a dick, it's a nice little term of a thought, but I know I was being a dick, and I know I'm better than that, and I know the consequences that it had with other people, and I know if I really thought about it, but I'm not going to. If I carried on being like that, it's just going to get worse. And, when it gets worse, it's going to get worse for me, going to get worse for the other people in my life. And I don't want to think about those consequences because I'm going to nip this in the bud and I'll try to come up with a quick process. So maybe I would just begin to see. And there's a lovely NLP process, and it's like called dealing with criticism, but it's not because you're criticizing yourself, but effectively you are looking at, that memory that you have and just saying, well, if you take out all the emotion, what can I learn from this? How could I do it differently? How could I have done it differently? And then you go, well, I could have done this, this, and this. Okay, let's imagine that scene being that way. What emotion would I have had that would have been a better emotion? What behavior, if I used that behavior, would be a better behavior. What belief would be a better belief to have about myself and other people in that situation? And then just play it in your mind. Did I say that, correctly? Play it out in your mind, and it doesn't matter. As you know, if it's not 2020 vision, just be aware of how it could feel if you played it out differently. And then this or something better. Lovely little saying. And you do that a couple of times and you can make a few notes if you want. Yes, write that sucker down. Maybe you want to go to, you need a process, another process, a free hypnosis or NLP process. Where do you get those from? Cloughie? You ask as if you didn't know. Paulcluffonline.com podcast. And there's 60, I think there's 60 something, free hypnosis and LLP tracks. There's one there which would give you something to use. Basically, you go down that list, because I know any one of those would help you, but you go down that list and you go, ah, that one jumps out at me. Set your intention. I want to nip this flame in the bud. Press play. And notice how things change when you come out of that hypnosis. Or you finish that NLP process. And then what you do once you've done that. You email me feedback at personal developmentunplug.com and say, hey, Cloughie, this is what happened. It was awesome. It was brilliant. These are the things I changed that would be nicer. But if you could just email me your results or the things that you noticed, maybe just right after the hypnosis or maybe a few days after when you review how, you've been, I notice I've been so much different, a little bit different. And then we can work on that, because if you get good results on one of those processes, we can then share it with other people through another episode, maybe explain that process even more. I know it comes from, one of the previous podcasts, but we can go into it deep a bit more deeply, maybe m more differently. It'll always be different because I'm a different person now than I was back then when I did it. And your statements and your email will get me to think of it in a different way. So we could do that, couldn't we? The other thing you can do is think about others. How are they acting And all you could do now here's the other thing that's personal review. The other thing I wanted you to think about, and I've seen this so many times, is thinking about others. How are they acting? Because you won't be able to get in their head about what they believe and their emotions, and the positive intention and all that stuff, what they're going through. The only thing you can measure them on is their behavior, isn't it? So how are they behaving? Behaving, and that could be words, could be nonverbal, verbal tonation, the things that say, but just notice how, are they behaving? And if things are fine, absolutely fine and dandy, but if you notice something that isn't quite right, just a little bit, because we've all seen, I think, that people who have had suddenly, or their case is like suddenly they have a bad issue and things are bad for them. It didn't start that way, did it? It was that snowball slowly growing. So it started a long time ago, but now you're seeing the full effects of it. And I've seen it so many times that people say, well, I noticed a little about a year ago they were a little bit weird, and now they're really suffering. Well, if we could have nipped that flame in the bud a year ago by saying things like, hey, friend, how you really doing? Do you mind m me saying, and I'm going to be really brave here, that I don't think you're handling it handling things as well as you like. You don't look comfortable. Is there something I can help you with? Even if it's only an ear, I don't want to give you advice, so I'm not qualified. But if you just want an ear to verbalize, to speak, maybe you could say, well, listen to personal development, unplugged and things like that. But you'll have a whole array of the things that you know that have helped you. And I think that's the best type of advice you can give. Sometimes those people are not aware of the problems that you've encountered and the problems that you have got over. You have snipped and snubbed, snipped and snubbed, nipped that little smoke and flame in the bud. Because you can say, well, I notice you just not feel you're not looking and coming across comfortable. And, when I was feeling that something similar a couple of years ago, I remember it felt, and you just be very gent, be very genuine, describe how you felt. And this is what I did. And it did take a little bit of time, but I was so pleased that I did it because now I feel great. And just by saying and being a little bit, in the wonderful words of vulnerability, just being that little bit vulnerable because it's okay, you're okay now. You're just showing what can be done. And you're showing that you're kind and that kindness and that sharing. We're going to talk about sharing, not the sharing I'm going to talk about at the end, but, a different type of sharing in a minute. It will make such a difference. So you could put your story for them by nipping in the bud. I mean, I had loads of stuff that's happened to me, something that really took me well out of. Out of being a sensible person. And I did some stuff and, I will talk about it one day, but I did loads of stuff. And there was one thing that really helped me and I realized that my journaling is something similar by just talking to myself, but getting it out there. But I'll talk about that another day. But you can tell people your story by being kind. And I'm not putting off telling you about it, by the way. It's just that, time wouldn't allow us at the moment. So that's what you can do with issues. But you see, we've had, nip it, nub it in the bud. But now there's a thing I'd like to fan. What again? Clavy yeah. Ideas are like clouds floating by, so what do you do with them I'm now talking about the dreams bit. The dreams are goals. You see, I heard a lovely metaphor, and it was about how your ideas come. And it was explained or said that ideas are like a cloud or clouds floating by. Now, I'm here looking at that cloud from this place, and I see it in one plane, as it were. I see it in this, from this direction. But someone could be a few miles away, and they see in that cloud in a completely different way. And those ideas can be seen differently by anyone and everyone. And as you look at that cloud, that idea, that inspiration, suddenly it could inspire you. I just got this idea. I just got this thought. I don't know why. Whoo. Now, you see, if you don't do something about that, what happens to clouds? Well, they change, don't they? They either change in their shape and their size, or they just go back into that big bank of clouds, or they just bloody disappear, don't they? And isn't that like ideas? We get that little bit of inspiration. We get that thought of, oh, what if I did this? And then you go home, you get interrupted, interrupted by life, and then you sit down and you go, I wonder what that idea, what was it? Well, and then something else comes and interrupts that thought. And by that time, that pattern interrupt has knocked that blooming idea, that inspiration, out of the blue. But it's just a tiny idea, isn't it? Tiny bit of inspiration. Now, what would happen if we could fan it so it becomes a fire burning, wonderful, warm inspiration. So you have to take a picture of that bloody cloud. Take a photograph of it. Now you're saying to me, now, cluffy, how am I going to take a photograph of an idea which you're telling me is a metaphor, or in the metaphor is a cloud? Because they're just snippets of things that come into my head, aren't they? So what are you going to do? Write that sucker down? You know the answer now. You can write it down in so many different ways. You could have a little card that you just carry one card per day, you carry in your pocket with a pen, and you get anything, you just write that down. Because that card is same as having a little notebook. I've got big enough pockets for a notebook. You have for a little card. And they only have to be small. I've got loads of them. And I'm looking at one now in front of me, where we're writing notes about speaking Spanish and things like that. And I think it's an inch and a half by two, they'll fit in your pocket. I mean, you carry around a phone. Well, most of us do. We've got our, mobile phone. Now. They have things like a recording facility. So you could quickly say it out loud into your phone and then come back. And when you're ready, like a review, you review the notes you've made, or you've got things like, I, don't know, evernote, notepad, anything at all that you could write a note on your phone for later. And it doesn't have to be a million things. It's like a metaphor. You write down the tiny little bits, the most colorful little bits that will spark your brain into action when you read it. Now, you could have a dream book, an ideas book. And when you come back, you get your card out, you get your phone out, you look at evernote, you listen to your recording, your notepad or whatever. You have that bloody serviet that you wrote a note on while you're in the coffee house or something like that. And you write it in your dream book. Now, you may have time to explore it there and then that night, but it doesn't matter now because you've written, written rotten, that sucker down. So you can explore it. And it's good to leave it. Sometimes there's so many brilliant writers who would, instead of finishing off the writing they're doing at the end of a paragraph or finish a chapter, they would leave it mid sentence, mid chapter, mid paragraph. And what, they come back following day and their unconscious mind has worked on it because it gets so blowing. You can set your unconscious mind away by just leaving a, question unanswered. Do that so much. In my work with clients, in therapy, I get them to think of things in different days by not answering the question. And their unconscious mind has to answer it for them. And that's what we do there. So we all do a little bit of work with our dream book and then leave a question. I wonder how this could be even better. Close the book. Leave it till you, till you come back. And guess what? Your pen will start writing, your thoughts will come, and then you review it again. And maybe you'll take that dream, one of them, because you've had aha, huh? And I say that again, an, aha moment. And in fact, sometimes if you go back to some of your aha, moments, the ones that really stuck with you are the ones that you acted upon. Now, you don't know if one of these little intuitions this little idea you have will become that wonderful, aha, moment. So write that sucker down, review it, work on it, let it enrich itself over time. Because I know that there'll be times when it just doesn't seem the right thing to do. But you haven't forgotten it, because I, know, I've gone through my books and I've gone, wow, this is two or three years ago, I found one of my notebooks, flick. Oh, I could do that now. And all of a sudden you started again. So that would be brilliant, wouldn't it? So now we can explore it, make it more colorful, enrich in it, ask, wonderful questions like what are the consequences if I could develop this? I wonder if there's a process that will help me. What is a strategy I could use? Do I know any more? Anyone who's done something similar like this? How could I talk about this? And this is a sharing bit, because we can explore, we schedule it, we work on it, we use processes to develop our, imagination. We start a schedule of actions. But then there's a thing, you could share it, because most people don't share their ideas. Because if I have an idea and I give it to you, you'll take it and use it. It's only a bloody idea. And if they did use it, they're not going to use it the same as you because they don't have your same experience, your same knowledge or what have you. So they'll have different things to bring to it. But here's the thing, and this is the lovely little metaphor that, another one, it's packed of metaphors today, isn't it? If I have a dollar, a pound, a piece of currency, a euro, and I've got one of those and I give it to you, what happens? I always ask you to share this episode. Not because of my ego Well, you're better off by a euro, a dollar or a pound. And, I'm less, I haven't got it anymore. But if you give an idea, share an idea, you still retain that idea. You still got it, you've just shared it. And by the act of sharing, it helps you fill it out a little bit, helps you to understand. We talk about, to know that the best way to learn is to tell people what you've learned. Because then you reinforce what you've learned. Well, it's the same with an idea. It might fill itself, might enrich in itself as you do that act of sharing, because someone might say, oh, that's interesting. What about you? Whoa. Yeah, what about that? And I'll take that away. With me, because they have that idea that you've given them. You have that idea, so you still got the idea, and so have they. Whether they do anything with it doesn't matter. But what will probably happen, because they're, someone of your respect. They'll probably say, I've been thinking about what you said. Have you ever thought about this? What about this? Now you might find now you've got a collaborator, someone who can inspire you, hold you accountable. Or they could just be someone who gives you even more things to think about to make this dream really come to fruition. And you've still got that idea. So share ideas. And when we share ideas, it becomes something wonderful. Because when you think about it, that idea was given to you from somewhere. You didn't have to pay for it. It was shared and shown with you, and you took it. And that idea is going around. Other people can get hold of it, too, or see it from a different angle. And it's that sharing gets you to be able to see it from a different angle through somebody's eyes without you having to do anything. What a wonderful thing to do. So you fan that bloody smoke to fan that flame, and you get others to help fan it, too, maybe. And you share. And that's why I always ask you to share this episode. Share the personal development unplugged podcast. Not because of my ego, but because I honestly believe that it would help somebody. May not resonate with everybody. And, I know it doesn't, but if it just helps one person per episode, I'm good with that, because I think you could do a lot more than that. But if you could just share that and get them to share it, we're going to make ripples and also share your experiences with me. As I said, personal developmentunplugged.com. That's the email address. Go to the website. There's a contact page there as well. I'm the only bugger who gets them. So we can share our thoughts, share your needs, your wants. Because it gets my brain to think of things and come up with something and sharing it back with you. So I don't keep your thoughts, I share them back. we've had podcast episodes solely on the questions from you, and they've created some great things. And I know they've helped that person who sent that email in. Guess what? When it happens, they normally get a copy of the audio before it even comes out. So they get to get to listen to it and work on their issue way before it's out, because I think that's worth it. So you've got that, so there it all is. And by the way, there's a subscribe and all that stuff. You know how to do that. Please. It'd be wonderful if you did, because then every Wednesday we get that little musing and every Saturday we've got the longer podcast. And if you want to know about if you're new here, by the way, I've decided to put what this blooming old podcast is about at the end. So after you hear flying, then you can have a little description, a little indication of what we're all about here. Anyway, I hope I've made perfect sense. Well, it won't be perfect. I hope I've made some sense, been able to articulate a little bit better than normal. Tried to, that was my intention. And I'd love to hear about your ideas. I'd love to hear how we've nipped those issues in the bud or we've helped somebody. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear your celebrations and your successes. That makes my heart jump. Thank you so much for your time. I really enjoy doing this. I joy being in your ear and in your head. Paul Clough launches personal development unplugged podcast So now, my friends, as usual, have more fun than you can stand, and it's time to fly. Warn you are now leaving the unclothed mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged hey, welcome. Welcome to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast. So, pleased you're here. Your time is valuable and precious. So what I would like to do is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, neurolinguistic programming, all of that, using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great, and then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams and get what you really want in life. Anyway, who am I? I'm Paul, Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes because we're going to have so much fun. That's it. We're going to have fun for a change. Because we can sit down for a spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation, the only limitation is your imagination. And you got bucket loads, by the way. Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must.

A Slap In The Face A metaphorical one in the kisser! Now this episode is personal and a little embarrassing being not what you know but doing what you know or not doing. It will make sense   :O) We all know the saying "First things first" don't we? Again we are getting into that realm of knowing and doing or in this case ........... As you know, if you're a regular listener, I have talked in the past about wheels and spokes, buckets, and all things about what our lives and personal development are made up of. Well I was getting more frustrated and demotivated the more I looked at my 'stuff' and then it came The Slap! The one in the kisser! And now I understand and am on my way again. Want to know more? You will have to press play - IT'S A PODCAST!!!!!! When you do please share this with a few deserving people https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/378-a-slap-in-the-face/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay,  Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Here's your heads up to this longer podcast, the metaphorical. Metaphorical, metaphorical slap in the face. Learning about something and where we're headed. The ultimate vision of who we really want to be. We strive to be. We're inspired to be. That's where we're going. Something I learned about myself. Bit embarrassing, but hey, ho, that's what we're going to do, and we're going to dive straight in. No introduction about the personal development unplugged podcast No introduction about the personal development unplugged podcast. You know it. And if you don't, I'm sure you'll find out. Okay, have a listen. It's more interesting to listen than my introduction. Okay, have a listen right now. Personal. Personal develop. Personal developer. well, a slap in the face. A slap in the face. There's a title for you, and it wasn't a literal slap in the face, although it did feel like a little bit. It's some metaphorical slap in the face that I got from me. I slapped myself in the face. When you go out to make improvements, you can't not make an. Improvement, can you So let's do first things first, because. We don't always do that, do we? And that's how I found out the hard way. So this is a personal sharing, as it were. I like to share personal stuff. Don't tell anybody about this because it's personal me to you, and it's embarrassing. It's em barassing to me because it shows. And showed me this wasn't the slap in the face, but it could have been. It's not what you know, it's doing what you know that counts. And here's sort, of an example. Way back in February 2019, four years. Ago,and in my notes, I swore, swore to myself, two episodes, hashtag one. Two, three and one, two, four. Wheels and buckets, and they're all about what you want to do with your life. Diffeent buckets for different areas of your life. Wheels, different. They're all the same theme. Every wheel was a different area of my life. So I'm going to have to do another one. I think I'm going to have to do another one on that because put it all together. So embarrassingly, and this. Is the embarrassing part I've been working. On myself, just like you. I don't stop. I know I've got things that I need to change, and we can. And every time we grow, we grow, and there's other things we can add to it. We've got new experiences, new learning, so we can keep making those improvements. And I have made improvements. You see, when you go out to make improvements, you can't not make an. Improvement, can you, really? But you have to look back. You have to look back because you might say to yourself, well, maybe Cloughie, I do try, but I don't notice. The improvements I've made.   And that's why we have to do.   That review, because any changes that you've made are now your new normal.   And your new normal tends to be.   Well, what issues, what issues did I have in that area? And you have to look back and go, oh, yeah, I was a right old so and so doing that type of stuff. But now I've changed. Now you're going to say cloughy, you've told me this before. Yes, I know, and I do repeat. on this podcast. But there's a reason for that repetition. Tony Robbins used to say, repetition is. A mother of skill. And it's a reminder, a re reminder, because we need reminders. It's amazing how many times we hear. Something, but it doesn't go in. And then there's just that one time. When, oh, yeah, I seem to remember that. Yeah. And there's things I want to get. To grip with different areas of me. I want to get to grip with new things now. And that's what happens, because we realize how far we've moved, where we are now and now where we look to the future. What else do I want to do? What can I strive for? Do you get that now? What can I strive for next? Hopefully not too many things, because we get overwhelmed, and that's when we get procrastination. So if you're suffering procrastination or overwhelm, just dial it back a little bit. Dial it back. How many things am I trying to do at Once? Because you can't. I like to think of each area of my life as being a wheel Anyway, back to my story, back to. My wheels and, my spokes. What the hell are you talking about, cloughy? Well, to me, instead of having buckets, different areas of my life. I like to think of each area of my life as being a wheel. Not the old wheel of life that people talk about or used to talk about. They still do, where you would split up a wheel up into different segments, and each segment would be an area. Of your life, and you'd shade in. Where you thought you were up to in your life and then go, well, if that was a wheel and you were riding a car. How bumpy would that be? You got to work on those areas. To pull them all up. But I found that just having one. Area was too big, too vague, which. Is why I said a wheel is an area of my life. But the spokes in between, they're the things that make up the wheel. So you could have a wheel for health, and the spokes might be exercise. Could be diet, could be what you. Et, not when you eat, but things like, supplements. Maybe it's rest, sleep, who knows? That's health. But then there's lots of other things. Relationships and things like that. And I know I have to do this, and I don't like the have. To, and I know I need to do this, and I don't like the word need, and I should do this and I should. It should be. I want to should. There's a should in there already, isn't there? We should all over ourselves. And, I know I really want to do this. And I started again, and I got. This lovely little notebook, and it's all divided. It was bought to me from my son. And I've got little yellow, little yellow pages in between with lots of other pages in between. So I thought, to me, that's it. Every yellow page will be the start of a new wheel, and every page. Will be a spoke within that wheel. And then I just got into it, and then I found myself. I started. Have you ever done this? You start with the best of intentions. And it's not the intention, I would go to, but it's like the best of intentions. I want to do this. It's a good idea. But I tell myself off now because I found myself. I didn't carry on. I didn't keep it going, did bits and pieces. I did the gym. I worked out a, lot of my health work about the exercises, because. That was an easy one. I knew that. So I was writing down stuff I knew and the sort of stuff I was doing, but because of that, it wasn't that motivational. I wasn't motivated to carry on with the hard stuff. And then I just didn't do it. And then I got the biggest slap in the face. Just like that. I thought to myself, I'm doing all this stuff towards a bloody. What? Cloughie. What are you doing? What is this towards? What are you trying to do? I've got all the wheels. Got all the spokes. Well, I haven't got the spokes. I got the wheels, but I didn't. Bother to get the spokes, but, I'm now questioning, are they the right ones? Well, they're not wrong, but could I do better ones? And even that didn't sort of, sort. Of get me motivated. And then there it was again. Another slap in the face. I was metaphorically pretty dazed by then. You see what happened? It suddenly got to me, this big aha moment. You dick, Cloughie, you're dope. Not good dope, but dopey. Old dopey. Dopey Cloughie. You have to have the ultimate vision that you've got in the moment I reminded myself, I've been talking about ultimate visions. The best version of yourself, the best version of us, me, you. And can you imagine it? Well, I could. Not quite in the detail I wanted to at the moment, but I've talked. About it so much about him. It's all in your imagination. And by the way, ultimate vision is never going to be ultimate because it's. Going to keep evolving, you're going to find ways to keep improving, but you have to have the ultimate vision that you've got in the moment. And I did one of these a long time ago. I did a lovely ultimate vision in. My early days of NLP, I wrote out my ultimate vision and it was beautifully typed. I put it in a lovely font, I put it on a six by. Four card and it was lovely. And it was load of balls, really. Well, it wasn't then. It was what I was going to aspire to. But when I look at it, or when I looked at it again not too long ago, I thought to myself, I've changed so much, so much of those words now. are they nice words? But they're no longer appropriate to me. They don't fit. I need to move on. Well, I have moved on and I need to move this ultimate vision and. I started to think about it. First things first. What's the intention of having wheels, spokes, buckets, whatever you want to improve this personal development. The intention is to be the best. Version of yourself, isn't it? So it's a big picture? The big picture, the most best version. The real me, the best real me I can think of. That's my intention. That's where I'm going. And everything else now will fit inside that. Paul: I wanted to know who I want to aspire to be First things first. So before thinking of the sections, I. Wanted to know who I want to aspire to be. To what end as well. What would happen if I, you know, what, that ultimate vision of myself, what would that pull do? be Because it's the ultimate vision of me. So what did I do? I started to see myself doing my little visualization, but then I was doing it writing down, because you know what I say, you got to write that sucker down. So in that book, I found a. Blank page before for all the other. Stuff I've done, and I wrote down everything I could about that me, I. Aspire to be to, or I aspire to be that ultimate vision, that best version of myself. I wrote everything I could. What would the beliefs, that ultimate vision, that ultimate me, the best version of me have? And they weren't the beliefs I have. Now, but there are the beliefs. I know that if I had them, well, it would be amazing. What about the values? The values that ultimate vision of me would hold himself to? And I wrote those down. And the good thing, well, to me. I felt good about that because they. Were the same values that I have in me now. It's all about being trust, honesty. But then a new one popped in. Loyalty. yeah, they come together. And then I started to think, well. When that ultimate version of me, that. Best version of me is living a life with these wonderful, powerful beliefs about my identity, who I believed I was with, the wonderful values, the things that were really important to me, that me out there, what emotions would I experience more of, what behaviors would I do. The high level behaviors that, I would hold myself to, and, what would those behaviors begin to attract or do? And there was things like being non.   Judgmental, because I'm a little bit judgmental sometimes, you. But being open minded, being kind, looking deeper. and I went on and on, and it made me quite emotional to write it, to think, where is this all coming from?   And then I realized it's coming from me, cloughy, it's inside you. So if it's inside you to write. Down, you know, you can aspire to be there because you've got those skills. All you have to do is start. How do you do that? How do you start to use them? I didn't finish that sentence off, but I jumped in. You can start to think of, well, what would happen if I acted as. If I was the ultimate vision. Yeah, I probably won't get it all. I know I won't, but I'll get a lot further, lot nearer if I act as if. And now when I think about it, and I just think of how I would act, how that ultimate vision of. Me would be, I can now visualize. It so much more. I can visualize me, cloughy Paul out there. And then I can start to say. Well, what would the wheels the sections of my life, the content and whatever. What would be the real special, specific. Wheels that make up that ultimate vision? Me. And then the spokes that are part. Of that ultimate vision. And you see, now I've got that. Can you tell my voice has changed? I've just noticed my voice has changed because I'm more motivated to start working on it. Really looking at those wheels and the spokes.   So that's what I'm going to do. Maybe I said about another, I think this is going to have to be another pod as well. So another pod, another episode. That's, if you're interested, of how we. Can really get that ultimate vision in. Our heads, I think I've given you. A good idea, but if you wanted. A bit more help with maybe like a little process to do that, a little visualization in an episode, we could do that. And then how we can take that into wheels, spokes, buckets, whatever you like. And the whole thing about this is it's bloody simple. And to do it, all you need to do is those simple steps, the simple steps that I'm taking. And it is an. And it's exciting. It's exciting. Now let me know. Let me know if that's of interest. To you and we'll do another episode. I'd love to know what your thoughts are about this. Is it inspiring or has it inspired you? I'm not an inspiring speaker, but does it inspire you? A little bit. And, just as a re reminder, my meta view of this one, just looking down on everything I'd been talking about or thinking about and writing about. Paul Clough: Think about what your intention is when thinking about personal developmen First things first. Before we start, set your blood. Think about what your intention is. No, I thought my intention was to work out the bits and pieces. No, my first intention was, where am I headed?   What do I expect? What am I looking for? Now? You might say, oh, maybe I. Missed out all these years, all these. Months, all these days, but it's never. Too late because we're always evolving and. You have to, so we're always starting over. So I wonder how curious you couldbe about that and doing what, you. Know, actually doing and not just knowing what, you know, doing what, you know, the mastery of you bringing back that intention. There you go. There you go. I hope there's a few golden. Gold. Yeah, Goldie golden nuggets out there for you. And you feel inspired to give yourself a metaphorical slap in the face. Oh, dough. As homer from the Simpsons would say, and start to think about personal development. Where am I going what is my ultimate vision of me? Who do I aspire to be? Yeah. And if you could share this with other people, that'd be awesome. I always like you to share. It would be great if you do. Because if everyone just gets that little glimmer of moving towards your ultimate vision, it's what we're put on this, I believe, put on this little old planet earth to do, to be it's growth, evolving and creating new things as we do it. And everyone gets a benefit. So if you could share this, that would be awesome. Press that subscribe follow button, all that, all that stuff I say. And email me if you want another episode in this or what part of it you'd like even more detail on. And that's feedback at personal developmentunplugged.com. And you can catch me on Twitter, or x or whatever it is now. And Instagram all that stuff. Have a little look, just google my name, unplugged and all that stuff, and you'll see my face and you'll know it's me because I'll have all that I have, put up all my reels and things like that. Anyway, until the next time, my friend. This has been fun. I enjoyed this. So let's have a good one and fly. Oh, and also have more fun than you can. You are now leaving the uncloved mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friends. Personal development unplugged.  

Dealing With Anger PART 2 Diving into the 'How To' So now we get to learn more about the intention of anger and how it really is an inappropriate emotion. We can see examples where others have used it to propel their lives, using the energy contained in the emotion and that's ok, I guess, if you don't hold onto it. Can you think of better emotions to use? I can and I'm also guessing if you were to remember times you achieved a goal and enjoyed the process anger was at the back of the queue  :O) If you haven't listened to part 1 it would help you get the best out of this part 2 and guide you to make changes - Anger doesn't only affect those with it but all those close to them and so will letting go of anger. Do it for yourself and others to get the benefit. win-win-win-win So come dive in with me and find ways to release anger and the end of those stories Please share this episode, it will make a difference https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/377-dealing-with-anger-part-2/ and I would love your feedback feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism This is part two of the personal development unplugged podcast Heads up. This is part two. Part two? The second part. That's what a part two is, of dealing with anger. This is where we deal with the process of letting it go and changing, creating the life we want. So I. You haven't listened to part one. Please do, because it will make so much more sense, obviously. So have a listen to part one, and then if you want, then you can come straight into this. So that'll be fine. Absolutely. Superb. So here we go. I know it's important to you. Have a listen after this. Okay, my friend, welcome back. Hopefully, now you've listened to part one, getting ready to let go, make the changes you want. Create a rich life. Because you'll be amazed. You'll be amazed when things change. Your new normal will be so rich. And in fact, I believe over time, you'll forget the old life, uh, the old way, because it no longer served you. It will no longer serve you anyway. But it's all been done. We're going to create that new way of being so it's really exciting, isn't it? I think it's really exciting. And if you remember in the first part, told you a little bit about the, uh, positive intention behind anger, trying to protect you. It's a secondary emotion. It comes in after fight and flight, and fight and flight is what protects you. Anyway, it's hardwired, as we said in your neurology. So no worries. You're always going to be protected. And what we want now is to create a way that you use the learnings, the learnings from the past, so you can be safe and therefore you can access better, uh, more appropriate emotions, behaviors and beliefs. Because when you do that, you're going to be so protected, but feeling comfortable, feeling good. And that's where we're going to be going in a short while. You remember those stories I was telling you about the guy who came and saw me with all that anger? Remember that NLP guy came up on for his presentation? And Geoff Thompson? We're going to finish those shortly. But first of all, I want you to find a comfortable place. And this is not hypnosis, by the way. You might find you're going to go inside because you're going to use your memory and maybe a little bit of imagination. So if you can find a place where you're going to be undisturbed, you're going to want to be writing things down. And I know when people go, oh, bloody hell, do I have to? Yes, it's so important that you write this bugger down, because in order to get the real depth of this, when you write it down, you have to go inside and find the right words, find, uh, how to communicate your thoughts in your head to the paper. And that makes this process so much more deeper and more connection, uh, I believe a more deeper connection with your unconscious mind. So yes, you do have to write it down. And the other bonus of that is you can come back, come back at any time, and especially in the second part of this process, you can come back and add to it, add to the things that are going to make your life richer. And I think that's important because when we come back, and it's also a great reminder, or a re reminder, as my son hates me to say, a re reminder. It's a re reminder of your commitment, your commitment to change and what you're going to get and what you're aiming for. Because we have to have an intention, and our intention is what we anticipate to achieve. I believe, and I like even go to expect this is our expectation. So you have your intention, and you may be able to visualize it from the words. Well, you will. You'll be able to visualize it from the words that you write down. And you'll be able to see a new you, a new you that is doing all the things that you want it to want him to do, her, uh, to do whichever way around you are. But it is so important that you can come back to this and, uh, even look at it and go, do you know what? I'm going to make that even better because now I know the process. I can make it even better. I will make it even better. I'm going to start to think about consequences, opportunities, because that's where we're going to start going. I'm not going to give you all now because we're going to go through the process, but I just want you to find that place where you'll be generally undisturbed, so you don't need complete solitude, but it's somewhere where you can focus and think about or use your thinking. Go inside and just muse and then write on your paper. So go and find a comfortable place, that quiet place, and set your intention, your expectation of releasing this negative emotion of anger and finding wonderful ways to put in place of the old way. And you don't know what they are yet, but we're going to go there. Okay, so get ready, and then we'll jump into the second part of this.     Ask yourself what negative emotion is costing you today or in the past   There you go. Okay, let's get there. Now you see what happens. Say we were to look down upon it and what we're going to ask, we're going to ask ourselves some questions. But what I have to say to you is, if you're going to do this with me, if you're going to do this, you're going to need a pen and paper because we're going to have to write it down. As I said, we're going to look down on our life, as it were. Ask ourselves some questions, get some answers. But you have to do both. Don't just do it 50 50 because we're going to do some negatives and we want to do the positives. Don't want to leave anybody in anything. So remember, I'm a therapist, and your therapist, if you want to do this, it's not a big deal, but just do the. Just do it all. So I want you to write down, first of all, what you think that emotion is. Uh oh, maybe it's. And you can swear and do whatever you like. If it's anger, or whatever, you can write it down on the top of the page, right in the middle. If it's a mind map, if you're doing a mind map, just draw a line down the middle, because we're going to have the one side and then we're going to have difference on the other side and the first one. The question is, what's it costing you? So let's just refine that a little bit. What has it cost you? And, um, write that down. Be honest with yourself. What's it bloody cost you? It'll probably cost you relationships. It might have cost you jobs, it might have cost you maybe physical things. Maybe you've done damage. What has it cost you in the past? And write those down. And when you write those down, you're going to say, be honest. Just go through all those. Not all the times, but the one, the significant ones that come to mind. What has it cost you today? Let's be honest. Because if it's costing you things which are negative, then your unconscious mind is going to start to see, oh, it's not working, is it? Because everything, the effects of this are, uh, negative. And then I want you to think, well, okay, what's it costing me right now, today, holding on to this? And it could well be your health, could be finance, could be relationships, not just necessarily romantic relationships. It could be the family, friends, social work colleagues. Write it down. Write the answers down. All on the same side. Right or left, I don't care. And then what would be the consequences if you were to choose to continue to have this emotion and think about that? Just don't go mad. We got to be realistic. But what would the cost be? What would be the consequence if you continued to choose this anger or this negative emotion? We'll go with anger. And when you look at all of that, you might just want a summary. You can ask yourself, well, how is this working for me? And you know how the answer is. It nearly swore. It's not. It's not at all, is it? But I want you to be really honest with yourself, to know that your unconscious mind is doing something for a positive reason. But what are the effects now? Might have worked at the very first time, maybe the second time, but after that, it diminishes, and now it's causing you harm, it's causing you negative effects through negative behaviors, negative emotions. And then you've got the other side of the paper again. You got to write this down and make sure you do it.     What beliefs would you rather have about yourself? And they'd be positive   How would you rather be? Just think, how would you rather be. So what beliefs would you rather have about yourself? And they'd be positive. They're not, I'm not angry person, because that's a negative. I'm not angry. Now, how would you be? Maybe how I would rather be is a loving person, a kind person, maybe gentle. I don't know. That came to my mind. Just what belief would you have? And it's going to start off with I'm. Even if it's the subtle one, like, I'm okay, I've got this. I can deal with this easily, effortlessly. I'm the type of person that stands up for myself in the appropriate manner. So what beliefs would you have about yourself? Because these are identity beliefs of how you would rather be in place of the old way. So no negatives. So I would rather believe I'm not angry person. No, that we want these in the positive. How would you be if you had this right now, the way you want to be? What would you believe in yourself and write those buggers down. What emotions would you have instead in place of the old anger? So it might be calmness, might be an awareness, maybe reflection, maybe just feeling of comfortable. I love comfortable. Because when you're comfortable, you can access all different things. You can access different emotions. Thoughtful, empathetic. If you like empathy, you can have anything you want. There's one beginning with a common I can always forget the bloody thing, but that's the one I want. Now what behaviors would you have in place instead of the old one? Reflect on the behaviors that would come from those emotions. So if you're, I don't know, just say you were comfortable, well, maybe you would walk differently, you would breathe differently, wouldn't you? You'd probably see things more clearly. You'd be able to talk to yourself in a different way, wouldn't you? How would you like to talk to yourself in place of the old way? And as you think of that, you're seeing in some ways, and I know you've got to, got to see it. Even if you don't see it in perfect 2020 vision, somewhere in your mind's eye there's a vision of yourself. How, uh, you'd like to be believing about yourself in such a positive way, accessing really good positive emotions, having the behaviors, using the learnings you've learnt along with all the experiences. And when you're like that, how would affect you in the world? What would the effect be on you personally? I'm sure you'd be more healthier, I'm sure you'd have more opportunities. I'm sure your esteem would grow because you can be a warrior, huh? But you can also be a lover. You can be not a comedian, but have humor. You put those three together, that's a wonderful combination. So what would the effect of on you be when you're believing in yourself in that positive way, positive emotions and those behaviors, and how would that affect others, the people around you, your close friends, maybe closer than that. Uh, those one to one relationships. What about family? How would it affect your family? How would it affect you at your work, maybe in your social life, your health, life? M how would affect your prospects for living and life? And when you think about that, what would be the consequences of being like that? What are the opportunities that are going to come your way that in the past wouldn't at all, but now, when you're like this, what are those opportunities? What dreams could you have and believe they could become true? And when you imagine all of that as one, what would that feel like? And try to describe that feeling. You have to write this down. You have to. There's no, well, I can think about it. Cloughie. Uh, I can do this. No, you have to write all of these down because it's your reminder. You can go back to all of this. You can schedule some thinking time and expand upon it. You can do it daily, and then you can see the changes. You can make it richer. So you schedule in this and you imagine one of the things, how would I act? As if I was to act as if I have those beliefs, those emotions and behaviors, and the learnings and the experiences and those wonderful goals, how would I act? And if I was to act as if right now, what would that be like? And describe it. Yes, a lot of writing, but it's going to be so worthwhile. And it doesn't have to be pages and pages, but it's so worthwhile. So when you schedule just thinking, maybe just daily seeing that you, it's a bit like that ultimate vision of yourself, but just imagine yourself having let go and now acting as if see yourself over there being that person has all the beliefs, attributes, emotions, behaviors, the skills, and is continued learning and is starting to take those opportunities that come their way. And I'll tell you what happens when you do that. We were talking about, um, that NLP man within minutes on the stage, and it was literally probably about 1520 minutes. He had tears at the end of it, but there were tears of joy. Tears of joy, because he suddenly realized, I don't need that anymore. I've let it go. And he could see in his future, just, as I said, the consequences now of the change that he'd made. And we saw him during the training. From that moment on, he was a great participant practitioner up to then, but he just got so much more out of the training. And I know he went to see various, uh, people to explain just things, and he felt so much stronger for it.     What happened when Geoff Thompson channeled and learnt from his anger   So what happened to Geoff Thompson, this bruiser, this bouncer? I mean, he's like five black belts in five different bloody ways. He said he can kill you in five different ways and all that stuff. But what happened when he channeled and learnt from his anger, when he used that energy, first of all, to write, but write books that help people, help people create lives for themselves to be able to deal with the things that he dealt with. He also wrote, um, film place. Film place, scripts for films, whatever it is. And they were really emotional. This is this big bruiser now writing screenplays. And what happened? He won a bloody BAFTA. He's been writing plays. He's got books. He does talks, and he inspires people. I've talked about him before. He's such a lovely man. So he's let go of the anger, and he's learned from it. I believe he's learned. He says he's channeled it into doing all this stuff, but I just think his unconscious mind has learned from it. It's no longer protecting. How can we use that energy into different things? So it's just using the energy, not using the anger. That's my view. And, uh, what happened to my client? Well, he came back after the session, and I didn't know he was coming back. And, uh, my sons had taken. Had made the appointment for me. And when I saw it in the diary, I thought to myself, oh, bugger. Maybe it didn't work. That's the first thing. It's like that negative thing you think of. Oh, no. You always think the worst. Don't we? We do. Oh, no, it hasn't worked. But he came in and said, I'm going to pay for this session, but I don't want a session. I want to sit here and talk to you and explain to you what's happened. And he told me, he said, I've been to the doctor. I'll have been to the hospital. My body is now getting better. Everything is starting to get better and get, uh. Uh. All the dials are getting more positive. And all this stuff. I say dials because they don't look quite big. All his metabolism everything was changing for the positive back to normal health. He said, my son, we don't live together because we found out really he needs his time, his space, and so do I. But we meet and we meet often, and we have this wonderful connection now. He said, just as special, he said, you don't know where I've been last weekend, do you? I ain't got bloody clue. So I'll tell you where I've been, Paul. I've just come back from the christening of my granddaughter, and I stayed with my daughter and her husband and my granddaughter, and I was at the christening. And that's all down to letting go. These are the consequences to him of letting go of that anger and being able to access those positive beliefs, the emotions, the behaviors, and learning from everything. And yes, two of those people, my NLP man, or Joseph's NLP man, my man, they were based or, uh, used processes. But the processes, in some ways, what I've explained to you, learning from the past and then learning how you can change and be better in the future. Geoff Thompson, he created that same, I believe, similar process. He learned from the past, learned what was working. He knew if he carried on, it would have been a disaster, the consequences. And he decided to change and channel that energy into the good. So that's exactly what we've done today or in this episode. And so that really means I've put equals an equal sign in my notes. So can you. But there's a couple of pre work credits. One is you have to decide what you want and you have to decide to be it. Uh, acting as if. Just act as if you've got everything you need. Yes, I know you haven't done the work yet, but if you were just to act as it, that would change everything straight away and would give you the platform, the foundations. But when you look at what it's cost you and look what you can do in future and write down the things that would do that. Because here's the thing. If you say, well, I want to be calm, you've got calm inside you because you wouldn't know you wanted it. If you wanted to have whatever emotion or whatever behavior, you can learn it. And I know you've already got it in you anyway, because if you didn't know about it, you wouldn't know to want it or think it would be good. And these are the learnings you are using your conscious mind. End with your unconscious mind to learn. Learn what will work because they're coming from the experiences that your unconscious mind has missed because it's been using that old negative emotion of, say, anger. So you have to decide this or something better. That's what you have to ask when you do this, this or something better because that's then putting the lowest bar and you're going to achieve it more and more.     Take charge, decide, become the driver of your bus, not be a passenger   Now, as you know, there's a couple of things I want to finish off with. One of the things I wanted to tell you, I always put these notes on the side of my paper and, uh, what I want to tell you, what was this all about? And one of the things was, don't put up with it. Take charge, decide, become the driver of your bus, not be a passenger. Get empowered. Because when you're empowered you're at. Cause you're taking responsibility. We talk about, I can do this, I get to do this good. And here's the real thing, which is that taking responsibility, it's up to you and only you. No, don't give me any excuses or don't give yourself any excuses. Oh, I couldn't do it because of. No, no one makes you, you make you, you choose. Once you've choose and use the will to do whatever you, whatever you can, the will to do whatever you need to do, you'll get there.     If you want more help on personal development, ask Paul Clough   Now, I know this is a massive subject and I've just come there with hitting you with a mind map and a few stories and I know they're going to make a difference, they will, they'll drift in. Uh, but if you want more, want more on this subject or other subjects, what do you got to do? Well, ask, either ask somebody else, but you could ask me, ask me and we can then just as this episode and other episodes have come from an email from a listener saying, I've got this problem and I don't expect you to help, but I've just got this problem. Can you and a couple of emails and yes, these episodes have come to fruition and hopefully they're going to make a difference. So all you do, all you have to do is think and decide. Again, I'm going to, ah, ask, I don't know the answer but I'm going to ask Paul. Oh, Cloughie, see what he can do. Because thing is about it, if I don't know the answer straight away, I'm going to bloody find out the answer because you are now going to stretch me into finding new stuff, I'm going to learn stuff and I'm going to share it back with you because that's what I love doing. So please do ask. How do you do your email? I suppose you could do it on because I do have like an Instagram account and I do have was it x? Is it x now that used to be Twitter or Twitter, whatever you can find me by. I suppose you just search my name and you'll see my face and you'll see all the posts I put, uh, up which are all about personal development. So you know it's the right one. You could do it there. I think you can direct message me there or you just email me feedback at personal developmentunplug.com. That means no one gets to see the comments. Then it comes straight to me and we'll do something. And I'm not going to let you down and I'll support you in any way I can because I want to support you, getting you to where you, where you deserve to be. Um, and then even more. And I know that when I, when I do things like this, I learn myself and I learn, not just learn new things, but I learn to change myself as well. And hopefully then I become a better person too. That's what I want. So do that for me. Do that for me. And if you want, I know I always say share and things like that, but if you want to share this, I'd appreciate it. I really would let people know about this podcast because it's only a little one, but it's got, I think, some really good golden nuggets. So let's share it if we could. There you go, my friend. That's what all we got time for today. You've got some writing to do. Replay it. Replay the middle bit and follow and keep pausing it and writing those things down and let me know how well you do. And then from there, because when you do that, you might want a little bit of help. That's that email. Okay, go play. And love your feedback. Love your feedback. And you can do it in those other channels as well if you want to. Okay? So my friend, let's have more fun than you can stand doing this, knowing that you are going to create the most wonderful you and the most wonderful life for yourself. Look forward to that. So it's time to fly, my friends. Have more fun, as I said, than you can stand. Bye bye now.   White, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.

Back To The Obvious That should be that isn't So many make, or try to make things complicated and hard to follow and I guess in their eyes it makes them look good. Oh! And this is not a rant on this topic, this time it's just an observation. This topic, Back to the obvious is about the thing we forget and is hiding in plain sight. I have seen it many times and one example of being brave was when my son, Joseph, went to an NLP seminar to see one of the originators of NLP, and what happened was   ........ You know the thing it's a podcast and you will have to press play and listen. But it made a lasting impression on me. Similarly, when I have had my doubts serendipity has stepped in on a similar vain - Yes Again, You know the thing it's a podcast and you will have to press play and listen. I guess you're getting the picture, loud and clear After you have listened and enjoyed the sharing please feel free to pay it forward and share to 3 more https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/375-back-to-the-obvious/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Personal development unplugged podcast where we use hypnosis Hey, the longer podcast. A longer podcast. The one of many. Hey, and this one is, the title says it all, doesn't it?     Cloughie: How often do you consider the basics   Back to the obvious, if you know what the obvious is. And I, think what I'm going to be saying. Things like, the shiny stuff doesn't really work that well, and it doesn't certainly last that well. But what do I mean by shiny stuff? Well, let's go back to the beginning, because the beginning is where all things start. How often do you consider the basics? What are you talking about, Cloughie? I mean, practicing the basics. Practicing the basics of the skills that you've already learnt, because you had to learn them in progression, baby steps, until you got them in the muscle. We used to call when we taught NLP, or when I used to teach NLP, getting those skills in the muscles so they become natural unconscious. And I'm even thinking now, the skills you learnt of being you, maybe what brought this to me a long time ago was my son Joseph and I went all the way to Edinburgh for a It wasn't class as an NLP, training, but it was. And it was Richard Bandler. Richard Bandler was taken. Richard Bandler is one of the co creators of NLP, along with John Grinder. But this was Richard Bandler's gig. He'd called it something else, but it was basically NLP under a different name. And we were going through the days and to be honest, Joseph and I weren't getting an awful lot out of this, seen a lot of it, okay. We were well into NLP. So a lot of the things we were being taught we really did know and we were training it. But what happens in these trainings, certainly in origin, bandler training, he would take someone from the audience and solve their issue on the stage right there. Right then, without knowing anything about it, he would just put his hand, people would, would put requests into, on a piece of paper, in a box. He'd put his hand out his box. Have a quick read. Yeah, this will do. This is a good one. And he was working with this guy. And to be fair, the things he was doing weren't really cutting it, they weren't getting there, they weren't getting that change that he wanted. And after about half an hour, 40 minutes of really cracking it and not cracking it, he stopped and turned to us in the audience and said, would it be okay if I go back to the basics of NRP? And Joe and I thought, what do you mean go back? He said, I'm just going to use the basics of NRP. And he did the things that we were teaching, he did the processes that we were teaching and had been taught right at the very beginning, the very basics. And you know what? He smashed that problem. That guy from being supersonically depressed in front of us was a different man. And that 1st 40 minutes was a drag. The next 25 minutes was absolutely magical. It wasn't magic, but it was magical. And the thing is, we teach the basics because the foundations, they are the foundations because they work and they work simply. And that's why I really go back into in simplicity, there's genius, because it is that. Genius is the thing that holds all our things together. And the thing is, I get reminders of this. I obviously got that reminder from Richard Bandler. Keep the basics, keep doing the basics. And then every now and again a book will come along. I told you before, things were happening. And all of a sudden I found this book online about the early days of NLP and how those foundations were, in those days, the great big things, and they just bloody work, so why change them? And then I'd see a video along the line, I'd just be doing something and then a video would come along and I go, it's a classic. And I'm thinking, that still works. Still works because the process works. And the intention is there. The intention from either, the therapist? Well, both the therapist and the client. You see, I heard this and this seemed to again, come back to this. A teacher makes complicated things simple. so a teacher makes complicated things simple where others, and this was called like a guru. But the people who put themselves up to be gurus try to make the simple complicated. And m it does and they do, don't they? I've been moaning about this forever. People making things so complicated and then calling them their own, and they're not. And you have to question their intention. Now think of this. You go to the gym. We know when we go to the gym, if we do the basics right, we do the technique as best as we can. It'll generally keep you free from injury unless you do too much of a weight or something like that. But if you keep the right technique, the really basic of that technique, you will lift or do, better things than you could before. And you just get stronger. And you get stronger without injury. And that gives you more confidence and thinking of things like our own skills, our personal development. We don't get injured. We want to come stronger inside, become more confident inside with inner strength, which means using the basics in our mind, the things that we've learned. Now, I know this happens, and it happened to me right at the very beginning of my little bit of NLP. And it happens to everybody who seems to want to learn it. To start off with, we tend to rush for the hacks. Now, this is not just NLP. Now you see it on YouTube. The quickest hack. Hack this, hack this, hack every bloody thing. It's a quick fix. People come and ask when they come on a training m. Oh, please, teach me the shiny techniques, those little things. No, you see, if you just know techniques, but you haven't got any basics. If something goes wrong, you haven't got a bloody clue what to do, because you just know the shiny bits you don't know what makes it shine, and you don't know how to add shiny bits together to link them, to move them. And this can be inside you too, you see, without the balance of sound foundations, when things don't go the way you really thought they would, you can find a way. You see, I can remember seeing my middle son, Luke. He's now a professional magician and a hypnotherapist, so he plays with people's minds in all sorts of ways. But before he became a member of the magic circle, he would practice the simple things over and over again, making this one card come to the top, one card into the pack come to the top, go behind his hand, just over and over again so he could do it without even looking. He literally got it into the muscles. And what about you? Us, me? Do we do that? Do we practice those foundations? Do we practice the simple things that they become so natural?     We need to get those basics. We talk about baby steps and some people don't like the term   I wonder, something to think about. This is always in this podcast. It's to muse and consider and reflect and then see how we can use those reflections, because we'll also even look at people and go, oh, thing is, you can do that because you're a natural, but you're seeing their shiny, real, their best reel. Like when you see Luke with his magic, you go, it's a natural. But I saw him practice and practice and practice just the small basics behind the scenes. And it's an intentional practice. It's not just, boring practice, it's with intention to get it under control, put it in the muscle, do exactly what you, want when you want it, know what you're doing, doing what you know. And it just happens that way because you get it in the muscle, you get it at an unconscious level. And then when you become conscious and unconscious, when you know what you're doing and doing what you know, you're a master, and you don't have to master everything. You master what you know, doing what you do, knowing what you, knowing what you do too. But does it have to be hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours? Of course not. See what I'm going to share with you in a minute? You're going to say, oh, cluffy for. That's so obvious. That's so obvious. Cloughie, I know that. An example. I want to get strong or I want to lose weight. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to the gym, but I'm only going to go once and I'm going to go eight to 10 hours straight. That's it. I'm going to hammer it out. All that time, do we do that? Well, some people do try, don't they? What happens to them? They get injured, they get damaged. It just doesn't work. And they get so despondent about it, they don't do it again because it's not appropriate, is it, to do that? Not at all. And there's no improvement when you do that. The only improvement is you're very much aware of the aches and pains. And the thought was, I don't want to do it anymore. Yes, I know. Sometimes we go to the gym and we have to push ourselves to our new personal best, but we don't do it every day. We need to get those basics. And don't we do similar things in different contexts? And sometimes we just don't do anything and wonder why things don't change. Some things, we just keep doing the same thing, over and over again and wonder why things don't change because of the way we're doing things. Or could we? Do you see, when I say over and over again, you might again. Sit down. I want to play the guitar. I want to play the guitar for an, hour and a half every day. Haven't played yet, but I want to play an hour and a half every day. I know when I did that, my fingers of my left hand were raw, pushing those strings down. They were like a cheese grater on my hand. Crazy. Did I enjoy it? Not a bit. Did I get better? No, I got worse through that period of time. When I came back to it, did I get better? No, I was frightened of it. I didn't get any confidence out of that. Now, you know that. You do know that because you're going to say cluffy. I know that. It's obvious. But what we could do, what we could do is just enough, and that's not just enough as an excuse, it's just enough to keep growing. We talk about baby steps and some people, I understand don't like the term. I'm doing baby steps. And they use that voice, by the way. They did baby steps. I'll call them little steps, little increments that makes it better for you because they're the steps that keep your interest. If they're too big, you get overwhelmed, you give up. But if you can have that goal in mind and the intention that what you expect to have happened, what you anticipate achieving and, what you want to have happen, you get that feeling of the wish fulfilled. And you put that into that step, each step slowly in pace for each session, and you begin to get your technique in the muscle. You begin to hone that way. And when that technique does get in the muscle, it becomes unconscious. And, what we can do is, it's the old 80 20% principle, but the other way around, we practice those basics 80% of that time, even if it's a short amount of time, and then do 20% new. And then you review where you are at the end of the week, and then you rinse and repeat, do it again, because you'll find even they think, well, I'm only doing the same 80%, but you're not. That 80% of those things that are in your muscle now are growing. You've got more techniques, you're better at it, so you get quicker at that, and you then do something new. And that new then becomes part of the 80%. And when you do look back and, we've talked about this before, look back to when you first started those sore fingers or whatever it was, you'll realize that this 80% you're doing now is so, much more surpasses that previous 80% by double. And that's a great thing. So then now we get stronger, we get more motivated, our self esteem gets higher.     Take responsibility for your personal development by reviewing where you are   Now, imagine applying it to your personal development. What are the things we want to do? Well, what do I know? Well, I got to have that goal in mind. I've got to be to see it, to see what I'll see, to hear what I'll hear, what will it smell like, what it will taste and get that feeling. And I hold that feeling in my mind and in my body. Maybe I'm going to anchor it, because I know anchoring now, we talked about that before, and then we use it. We find the right place. We just create an environment that's the best environment we can at that moment. If it's not the best, it's the best at that moment. We set our intention, all basics, and, when they're not working, just have a look and go, oh, I've moved away a little bit. Let's just go back. Now. If you did know that and you do it, that's bloody awesome. But if you're honest, we probably don't not know it. That is, we do know it, but we don't necessarily do it. or if we do know it and we do do it, we don't probably do it as consistently. I say that again, without a little stuttering in the middle. We don't do it consistently. And, it's that consistence, that resilience, that determination that this is where we take responsibility. We talk about cause and effect. The cause is greater than the effect. Well, if you take responsibility to create that cause, you are, now going to be creating better effects. And it all comes from you. And when it comes from you, you get more motivated yourself again, the self esteem gets better, you feel that inner strength because you become the cause, the cause of those increasingly better effects. And when you do that, you won't experience what we sometimes used to do in the past have. If, only I wish I'd. Can you think back? Or I wish I'd. Or only if I'd. If only I'd done that. I can remember thinking if I had practiced that guitar just for ten minutes every day for that last year, I'd be pretty good by now. But I didn't. I wish I did. And, I know this stuff and this is what I'm saying, I know it. But do I do it or do it consistently enough? No. And I think we need to do when we're doing those things when we've talked about before, by just reviewing where we are, reviewing what we want, making sure these are things we do, and then scheduling them out, taking responsibility and creating that life we want. So this could be for anything outside your life, the things that you want to do, the skills you want to learn, but also about yourself, working on yourself. And when you get there and you know you've got no regrets now. No regrets of. Only if I wish. If only I wish. Those regrets are gone now you can start looking back and going, now I know where I am and where I've gone or come from. And now where I am right now, what else can I do? Because if I could do that, I can do anything. It's like people who will go through my son's, Joseph's, mind mastery, getting rid of fears and anxiety, and we say to them, you've gone through that in a matter of weeks. What can you do now? Because you did that. You've gone through that course all by yourself. Well, not by yourself, though, supported by us. But you had to take responsibility to do all the work. You did it. You created this wonderful change in yourself. Now what could you do? What else? Because if you can do that, that's probably the hardest thing they could do. Now anything else becomes a breeze. And, I think when we do that, the one thing that we do, I just made a little note here, for goodness sake. Celebrate, celebrate every success. Doesn't matter how small that success is, how big it is, especially sometimes it's small. We go, oh, well, that's not yet, no, celebrate, celebrate big time. It could be big time. Just for 5 seconds. Yeah, I feel so good about that. Because you are now telling your unconscious mind, this is it. Forget ah, the bloody shiny stuff. I know it doesn't last. I know it doesn't work because the results are down to me. Yeah. How do I want to feel about this? I want you to feel, do you know? Yeah. It's time to put things right. It's time to create the stuff I want because I've got it in me. And this is how you get there. There'll be more of this, I know. On the longer podcast we'll carry on doing how to learn skills, how to put them in the muscle, some processes to let go of the negative, emotions or beliefs you have to stop you getting there. But this is part of the foundation. So, ah, maybe just review the things, you know, and then review do I use them? And how can you schedule in, continue using them and those the things you don't use. And remember, just be honest with yourself because can't kill a kidder and you can't kid yourself, you know.     You can start creating massive change by just doing small baby steps   So let's just take a moment or two while we're reviewing from the last podcast. Let's go back to the basics, back to the obvious, and start creating massive change by just doing those small baby steps, those little increments. And it doesn't matter where you are, how far you've come, there's still new increments to do to have lasting richness in your life. And in that way, I think you affect others. Well, I know you do, because you are actually being the change you want to be in yourself and see in yourself. But you're also being a change that you can see in others, because you are now the shining example. Just by doing it. People will see you, they'll notice you, they may even come and ask you questions, they may even ask you to mentor them in a roundabout way. Ask for advice and you'll know the basics and you can teach it. You can share them, share everything you learn then, because you've got it in your muscle. And one muscle you could use is to share this podcast, share it with everyone you know, and also get that little finger on that subscribe button. There are two muscles you need to work the sharing muscle, paying things forward, because that's a good thing to do anyway. Just makes the world a better place. Share what you know, share the episode. If you would be very kind. And if there's anything you want to know, or if there's things in here. Do you know what? Cluffy didn't quite get that.   Or.   It's all very well, you're talking this way, but I've got this issue and, I don't know how to get over it. Send me that email. Few bullet points. How am I feeling right now? And how do I want to feel? And maybe a few little triggers, but they're the two things. How do you want to feel? And how do you feel right now? How do you do the things you do right now? And how do you feel? How do you want to feel? And we'll find a way. Feedback at personal developmentunplug.com simple email and we'll work out something together. I know we will, because that's what we're doing here. Ah. We're sharing our experiences and sharing the things we know that make a difference. It's all about sharing, and it's a good thing to do. It's a kind thing to do, isn't it? So, my friend, it's been very kind of you to spare your time with me. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope I communicated it in a way that it's hopefully a little bit inspiring and it gets you to do the things that you know you can do and excel beyond your imagination. There you go.     Personal development unplugged. It's time to fly on your own   So, until next time, my friend. You, that is. It's time to fly.   Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   Personal development unplugged.    

Months of Therapy - Really?? I believe therapy should be quick, easy, and comfortable and I have witnessed so many times I think I'm right. Even if I wasn't, and I am, it's the best belief a therapist can have along with 'my client can do this!' So what follows is a little Cloughie rant and then suggestions on how therapy can be quick, easy, and comfortable. I guess this rant happens once or twice a year when I hear people, some may call influencers and aren't we all, say things that don't help anyone suffering and in need of help. Let me know your thoughts and please share and guide others who need help https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/373-months-of-therapy-really/ ‎ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,

F#ck The Noise How can we be free from all the noise that distracts us from being who we really are and can be? This is in effect Wakey Wakey #3 in an attempt to wake up from a dream, being sleep. Like my friend Tim Freeke's book Lucid Living questions are we dreamers dreaming this life or can we awake from it? For me, it's all the noise that deafens our senses and tries to manipulate our thoughts and behaviors. Is it just me, I plan my week, my days or should I say daze and when I look back over the day I find I missed and sometimes didn't even think of those things I intended to do. Please say it's not just you Cloughie. And what do I do when I notice this? I give myself a really good dressing down - How's that working for me? The thing is every year, maybe every month or week, there's new noise to take your attention away from creating a great life. So how do we combat this intrusion and manipulation? Well, I'll tell you by following in part Jocko Willink, David Goggins, and Joe Rogan to name but three ( I know there are so many more that guide me). So buckle up and come with me down rabbit hole #3 :O) and press play - it is a podcast after all. Please share:  https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/372-fck-the-noise-2/ Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay,   And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   Hey, how you doing? This is, I guess, wakey wakey number three. Hashtag three, wakey three.   And there may be some swearing in.   This, and if I do, then I.   Apologize in advance, because it's only going.   To be the one word. But we'll see. They were in my notes because I.   Got a little bit going with this.   And the reason is, number three, are you asleep? When you talk about Cluffy, am I asleep? Well, think about it. Maybe you're just hibernating a bit, and, sometimes.   I'm talking about me, really.   These are questions to me that if you imagine you're me, I'm asking you for me. Are you asleep? Cloughy? Are you hibernating, are you in a daze? Because I bet you're like me.   I bet you are like me.   You have so many things you want to do. You're here, you're following personal development unplugged.   But you want to make the best.   Version of yourself, don't you? So you have things that you want to do. You want to do them every day. You set them out in your week. And like you, I plan them out. I sit down on a Sunday, generally Sunday.   I've got a little bit of football.   On Sunday afternoon football. And I get my little book out and I start to go through what I plan to do in the week. And then I put it into days. Things I have to do, things I want to do. And do you know what? It's so bloody annoying. Some things I do, some things I do.   But there's sometimes the ones certainly, that have an appointment time on it.   I always keep those. But some of those other things, I just find I miss them sometimes.   It's not until the end of the week. And that Sunday, when I review the.   Weeks that's gone, I actually see that I didn't even think about them. Didn't even think about them. Have you done that? And it upsets me. It nearly swore then, but it really does me off. And I think to myself, Cloughy, you've got this schedule that you do. You're supposed to be good at this. You've got a lot of skills. I've learned a lot of skills. I should be better.   And we do.   Should all over know. We go to the fridge and we know what we should eat, but we sometimes take that other thing out, that, little bit of chocolate. That little bit. Yeah, but I know we should do a lot of things, but I should be better, just be better at, finding these things. And when I miss them or I find I haven't done improve what I really wanted to improve, I really berate myself. Imagine in the mornings, I'm sitting there with this lovely journal to ask myself questions. Questions that will enhance my life. And what do I do? I'm sitting there.   Imagine they're sitting there. I've got my lovely cup of coffee.     This is the third time I've recorded on lucid living   Maybe even put a little jostic up.   In the corner of the room just to give that smell nice anchor to be. This is my comfortable place. And then I berate myself in that journal. I give myself such a ticking off.   Imagine that voice is coming through my.   Head, into my arm, into that pen. And I'm really going, why the buddy? How do you forget that?   Is it a block? Is it this?   Is it that? And, because I'm in that state.   I'm not finding answers because I'm not.   In a state to find answers.   I'm in a state just to give.   Myself a good old fashioned rollickin and that's when I start to think, or I did start to think when I. This little bit, maybe I'm. We. You are, still living in a dream, waiting and wanting to wake up out of this dream. Because if it wasn't a dream, and.   I know we can do all sorts.   Of things in dreams, but if it wasn't a dream and I had a dream, I'd be doing this stuff. So maybe we are just wanting and waiting to wake up. Tim freak, lovely surname. F-R-E-E-K-E. Tim freak wrote a book and it literally only takes half hour to read. It's called lucid living. And I listened to that. He's also got it on, well, I've got it on CD. Can you believe that CD? And I listen to.   And it's in his voice on the.   CD and it's awesome. Lucid living. And it's all about waking up. And I've talked about this before because this is the third time. Third time I've recorded on this topic. And you'd have thought by now, hopefully it's third time lucky. But you thought now, by now, I'd have woken up a little bit.   A little bit.   But maybe I have. Maybe I'm being a little bit hard on you. No, me. You. Me. Because we have changed. We have done. When I look back and review, yeah, things have changed. Some things have been a lot better, but I still think they could have been that much better if I'd woken up out of this dream. And it's not the daydreaming we've talked about daydreaming and deliberately daydreaming. This is just, Is it a metaphor? A metaphor that we're in a dream.   And when we wake up at the dream, it'll just be because, you know.   When you're in a dream and you're sleeping and you wake up, sometimes you.   Think about that dream, and sometimes it's.   Just like it's a new day. It's a brand new day and that dream disappears. So three times, third time. Third time lucky recording this stuff, because every year is what I was thinking about. Every bloody year there's new stuff to distract you. I've called it, noise. New noise to distract you from being awake and, my being awake is doing the stuff that I know will make a difference to me.   And if it's making a difference to.   Me, it'll make difference to other people.   And it'll make difference to little old.   Planet earth in a small way, but.   If it makes a positive difference, and.   Even in a small way, that'll be good. But it's bloody noise.     Joe Rogan: When you become free of the noise, you become empowered   And one of our meta notes is when you become free of the noise, you become empowered. But what type of noise are we getting now? Still having wars. Bloody wars. In this day and age, we're still having wars. How bloody stupid is that? We got all this, I'm going to call it crap, men versus women and all that stuff around. And this is not political at all, but this just looking at the distractions we're getting.   Why, can't we just.   Embrace men and bloody women, just. And let diversity, all these things coming along and bombarding us through this social media, the news, everywhere you bloody turn, there's things like this going on. There's politics everywhere. 1 minute it's the thing that's so loud in your ears, and then you don't hear a bloody thing about it, because there's something else even louder. And there's always some new noise. Other people, other things that are vying and trying to take your attention because.   They are trying to take your.   Not just getting you to be aware of things, but they are taking your attention to control, to control what you listen to. And there's only one. Well, maybe more than one, but you should certainly listen to yourself first. Control what you listen to. Be observant of what you're listening to.   And, not just diving in and without the data.   Maybe. Maybe. So each year I wrote this down, each year, cloughy, I seem to remember I'm, having to try to wake myself up again and again and again. Do you find that?   Just thinking about what I'm talking about.   Now, does that noise get on your bloody nerves? And we get lost in it sometimes, don't we? You hear or read something, you see.   It on a little video on social.   Media, and the next moment down that bloody rabbit hole. And if you stopped, even when you do stop, stop, and it's normally too long, but when you do stop, do you ever sit back and go, do you know what? I've learned something from that that has enhanced my life, that's going to make my life better? Not when it's random like that.   Yes, sometimes that teacher comes along on the video, but that's when you got.   To be looking for stuff, sending out that, vibration of I want to learn something, I want to get better at something. And then you'll find that stuff. It seems to come along with synchronicity. But not all that noise distracting you. And, what's it distracting you from? Being the best version of yourself. That's what I believe. And you see, to me, there's so.   Much noise that we need to control.   And the only person who can control that is you. It's us. We've got to take ownership, haven't we, really? Because here's a couple of things people I've talked about before just reminded me.   When I was thinking about this.   Jocko Willick, extreme ownership.   And one of the words he says.   When he gets a problem to deal with, he goes, good, good, let's deal with it. That's taking extreme ownership, and it is extreme. But with all this noise, maybe we do have to be extreme now. We have to look to these people.   And not think that they're going so.   Extreme just to pull us along a little way. We've got to maybe look at this David goggins. I get to do this. Thriving on getting to do the things that he knows. May be tough, maybe hard, but they're the right things to do.   And the right things to do are.   Generally just a little bit.   They're taking us out of our comfort zone. I don't like that term.   To me, it's more familiar because even.   In that supposedly comfort zone, we're not that comfortable.   We're maybe uncomfortable with that bloody noise. But I get to do this. I get to do this for me. Joe Rogan talks about just being responsible for you. They're the first three that came to.   My mind, but they're the three people.   I do tend to follow.   And if you follow people like that.   I think you get the bandwidth, you get the direction it all comes down to. No bloody excuses, no reasons.   Oh, I can't do this because, of.   No, that's a bloody excuse. Because you say, good, I get to do this. I'm responsible. And the only thing what gets me is I get this every year, third time, third year on the run, thinking like this. But if nothing else, I'm pleased. I am pleased with this. I did berate myself for thinking, bloody hell, cloughy. Another one. The same thing.   And it's not the same thing because.   Each year it's different, and each time the message will be slightly different. But if we do just sit back once a year and, review, I have to learn this. I guess and remind myself, re remind myself I have to be present. Bring myself into the present. And, know that we both own this moment, this moment right now in our lives, your life, my life.     What could you use as a wake up call every morning   And I thought of a little mantra, and this is where the swear word comes in. Because it just came to me. I just thought, fuck the noise, because it made me jump a little bit. Because this is my life, my day. My day in this life of mine might stop tomorrow. I hope not. I want it to go on for not ever. Because I'll lose everyone I love. If I. If I keep alive forever. Maybe I could find more people to love as well. That's another thought. But just this is my life. And this is however long my life is. Every day is my life and my day in that life. So I began to think every morning, what could I use as a wake up call? Because this is a wake up call to me because that's what people used to call these things, isn't it?   You have something that shocks you a.   Little bit, and they call it a wake up call. So wakey wakey. So what would it be like? imagine this. What would it be like being that.   Ultimate vision of yourself? That ultimate vision of yourself would take.   No bloody notice of the noise, would it? Because it'd be concentrating, focusing on making your life better. And, probably making other people's lives better, too, in that making of your life better. That's a lovely thing.   And you don't have to do it.   Too long, do you? You wouldn't have to do that for many seconds. If you just remind yourself of that.   Picture of you, that ultimate vision of.   You, the one you're striving to be, the one that you could be right now, by the way, and then get better. Because if it's in your mind, it means you've got those skills. Maybe we just need to hone them, practice them. So what would happen if you saw yourself every morning reminding yourself with that.   Tiny snapshot of a visualization of that.   Ultimate vision of you and feel it, how good would that be? What would the effect on your day be? I know it would be on my day. And, think of this for the moment because we have to be present. Just imagine this.   You don't really need your eyes closed, but you don't want to be doing something.   By the way, if you're driving, you can listen to it, but don't think about this. Just let it go past. But if you got a moment, just think, this very moment is now. And this now keeps move. Well, it doesn't move. It stays here. Things are just happening. But in this very moment in time, what can you hear? Just notice what you can hear. Listen.   Listen to the noise.   Maybe I've just heard my stomach when.   I was thinking that my stomach just.   Get a little growl. I can hear things happening outside because it's raining and I can hear the raindrops hitting the roof of this little studio. What else can you hear? They're mine. And the more you listen, okay, you can hear the things which are right evident or right by you. But as you listen even more, you may hear things just slightly more in the distance. All these things happening right now. What can you see? Just look around. Good to be observant, but just look around. All the things that you weren't taking notice of, they were always there. But now you can, you can notice these things. Open up your peripheral vision. Notice a beauty. Look for beauty in everything you see. Maybe there's a logo there. Who did that? Who had that idea? Maybe the things you're wearing, the people around you, the things around, just notice everything that you're looking at and can see you right now. Maybe what you can feel, if you're standing, you're sitting, actually feel in your body, the structure you're standing on. You're sitting in, you're laying in.   Maybe you can feel things with your.   Hands, your fingers, even. Sometimes if you can hear that, I says me tapping my little desk just to tell me I'm here right now. And, as you just think of being here right now, fuck the noise. This is me. This is my new meme, by the way. I'm gonna try not to say it out loud too much when I wake up in the morning, but inside, want to wake up. I want to wake up every day and hear the world as it is right now. See the world as it is right now. Feel the world in the smell and taste right now. Be in the beauty right now. Because when I'm doing that, I can discern from that crappy noise. As we said, things like news. Yeah, we got to know about some things, but hear the right news, hear the balanced views.   If you're going to get interested in.     Taking ownership of the day right now in the present, knowing what to do   Things, look at the data. Don't just take people's words for it. Maybe because there's an agenda there, maybe, but create your own noise, your own you in the day with that visualization of the ultimate vision of you. This is where I am. This is where I'm going. What am I going to create today? What am I going to create today. When am I going to take extreme ownership? Good. This is mine. When am I going to say, I get to do this, David, go. I get to do this. I'm just responsible. No more excuses, no more reasons. If I've set out something to do, I'm going to do it.   And if something even better comes along.   I'll decide whether I do that instead of the thing I'm doing. I will decide. I will become responsible for my decisions, my choices. Because this is my day, my bloody day. And every moment is my moment. And no other bugger is going to take it away from me. I will choose to share it with you as I'm doing now, because I want to share these things with you. Really helps me, by the way, because.   This is going inside me.   I talk about the way to learn something or understand how well you know something is to share it verbally with other people. Can you communicate it? And I don't know how good a job I do as communicating this, but I'm getting to get it in my own head. So if this resonates with you just a bit, find a way to trigger it. Taking ownership of the day right now in the present, knowing and choosing what to do. Remind yourself. Find a way to trigger and remind yourself. It could be as silly as some sticky pads left on the side of a door frame that's at eye level. So as you walk through that,   We won't write fuck the noise on.   That, because that's a bit rude, but maybe just. This is my time.   I get to do this.   Good. This is my time. Maybe you just stick a little sticky note on a few door frames at your eye level. Yeah, it sounds silly, but you'll get it.   Maybe on your computer screen, maybe on.   Your phone, maybe just stuck on your alarm as you wake up. This isn't a clock. This is your time. And the more outrageous, the better. There's a couple for me and I wonder what they are for you. How outrageous could you be to remind yourself, this is your time, your day, your moment, no one else's. You're responsible for it.   So everything you do, if there's something that doesn't quite work out, you're responsible.   For that and you'll learn from it. So if this has resonated with you and you think, yeah, Paul, they're great.   Things to do, I'll just do those.   Absolutely superb. I'd love to hear how that wakes you up.   But if you've got something even more.   Outrageous that something just suddenly springs to mind, let me know. So let me know both of those. You can email me feedback at personal developmentunplugged.com. I'd love to know what yours.   Are because they're going to inspire me and I want to share them with other people, share them with myself.   So we all get to live every moment. And that's the target. That's the goal. And if we can get to 80% of that, we will be outshining every other bugger on the planet. Well, not every other bugger, because they might be doing the same, but not. But we will be so ahead of 80% of the rest of the world. And then we can show them they're not bragging. Then we can show them by example, how good life can be, how not to get distracted. Wouldn't that be good?   And again, as I've shown this with.   You, trying to, get it deeper into my mind, clearer in my mind, it would be great if you could.   Think about this and maybe share it with somebody else. Just use it as a discussion about.   How noise distracts you and how you can bring yourself back into the moment. Sharing this podcast would be awesome, too.   Because it might, just might not resonate with everybody.   And that's cool.   But if it resonates with one person.   Just one person, we've both done our job. We've both done something that makes a difference. And that one person may just make a difference, and we'll never know how far the ripples have changed. Go, will we? But we know, they're going in such a way, like the butterfly effect. The butterfly effect. We're just flapping our little wings this side of the world, knowing that as the momentum builds, it's going to make a difference. So please do share this episode.   Stick a thing on that. Tap that subscribe button, follow button.   That would be great, too, but this would be great.     And I got a feeling this is coming up to, if you listen to   And I got a feeling this is coming up to, if you listen to.   This as it comes out, it's probably.   Coming up to new year.   So if it is, happy new year. And if it isn't, I'll buggered it up. But this is something we could just muse about.   So when we do actually put these things into our, schedule for the.   Week, the day we know that we're going to do it, we're going to make a difference.     Paul Clough says it's time to fly on your own   So let's go and make a difference, my friends, by having more fun than we can stand in this very moment. The present. Give yourself a present of the presence, things like that. Because it's now time to fly. I'll see you next time, my friend. Let's have fun together. Bye bye, now.   >> Speaker A: Warning. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.   >> Speaker E: Personal development unplugged.