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Often forgotten in the hysteria of the Salem Witch Trials, is the martyrdom of Ann Glover, killed as a “witch” because shewas an Irish Catholic in a Puritan colony.To help Catholic History Trek, please consider donating via PayPal (Kevin Schmiesing@CatholicHistoryTrek)Thank you for your support!

In this episode of the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, host Diana Winkler interviews Pastor Mark Sowersby, who shares his powerful testimony of overcoming childhood abuse and finding forgiveness and healing through faith. Mark recounts his early life filled with abuse, meeting Jesus at 16, and wrestling with his identity as a victim. Through the love of his church community and personal determination, he not only found freedom but also pursued education and ministry. He also speaks about reconnecting with his birth father and how the loss of his mother catalyzed the launch of his ministry, 'Forgiving the Nightmare'. The episode serves as an inspiring account of transformation, resilience, and the power of unconditional God's love. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:25 Introducing Pastor Mark Sowersby 01:40 Technical Difficulties and Apologies 02:17 Pastor Mark's Testimony 05:49 Childhood and Abuse 07:10 Finding Faith and Forgiveness 18:06 Weight Loss Journey and Healing 23:08 Dyslexia and Education Struggles 24:42 Writing a Book and Ministry 28:14 Reading the Bible: Audio vs. Written 28:27 A Life-Changing Christmas Story 29:20 Overcoming Illiteracy with Help 30:14 A Love Story Blossoms 30:56 College Journey and Divine Guidance 32:49 Answering the Call to Ministry 33:13 Struggles with Self-Worth 35:15 Finding Confidence in God 35:56 Weight Loss and Self-Love 40:01 Victim to Victor: A Personal Transformation 45:00 Reuniting with Birth Father 48:20 Launching Forgiving the Nightmare Ministry 54:40 Final Thoughts and Prayer   website: www.forgivingthenightmare.com email: mark@forgivingthenightmare.com    Bio:  Reverend Mark Sowersby has been married to his wonderful wife Jennifer for 17 years and is the father of four children. Mark has been an ordained minister with Assembly of God for over 25 years and is currently the Pastor of Christian Assembly of Schuyler in beautiful upstate New York. Pastor Mark holds a BA in theology from Zion Bible College/Northpoint Bible College. In 2019 Pastor Mark went through a time of great healing. He began speaking about the experiences of his past and God's grace and the transformational work of forgiveness in his life. He now speaks about his story through his ministry, Forgiving The Nightmare. When he isn't serving his congregation and his community through ministry, teaching, and support, you can find him on all the trails and lakes in Upstate New York, spending time with his family.   Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ Transcript: [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Welcome back. You made it well. I have a great guest for you today. I told you about him last week. Pastor Mark Sowersby and he has knocked this interview out of the park, and we had an amazing time. We did not have an amazing time with the Zoom platform. I could not hear him, but he could hear me, and it was a half an hour of back and forth trying to get it to work. So I wound up having to record this episode on our phones with the earbuds. So I don't normally do [00:02:00] that. I usually have my $300 studio microphone. So if it doesn't sound as good, I apologize. But this content is so great that I think you'll forgive me, but I'll try to do some, post-production, to make it sound better. So without further ado. Here is Pastor Mark. Yeah. Nice. Nice to meet you. Yes, nice to meet you also. And I saw your wife there too, so, and I think you saw my husband's beard anyway. Yes. And my wife is the strength and the brains of this operation around us. I'm blessed. I'm a blessed man there. Amen. Thank you. Yes. So we got the, um, the technical, uh, demons outta the way. Well, I appreciate that. We tried two computers and my Apple phone. And I have to tell you, I am a novice at computers at best, so Yeah, me too. So we're kindred spirits for sure. Amen. Amen. And I read your testimony about your [00:03:00] website and your faith and your podcast and everything. What a beautiful testimony you have. Oh, thank you so much. So you, you're in Arizona, is that correct? Yes. Wow. Wow. Well, I have to tell you of one of my bucket lists because I'm a northeast guy. I'm a New England, New York. We have snow. It's freezing. They're saying we could have a possible blizzard tomorrow. Uh, I love that. Go to the Grand Canyon. That's my, on my bucket list. My, my family. Hear me speak about that all the time. I've never seen it. But I long to, let me tell you, it's more breathtaking than you can imagine. The pictures don't do it justice. I've been there many, many times, of course. And yes, you should come as soon as you're allowed to travel. I would be over here. Yeah. There's so much more to see. We long to go. We really want to see it. You know, if somebody said, you really see the significance when you look at that great canyon and you see how [00:04:00] small you are, it humbles you and reminds you of what a great big God we serve. So, you know, we just, uh, amen. Thank you for hearing my story and my testimony, and it's an honor to be here with you and celebrate the victories that we have in Christ. Amen, brother. We're gonna get to know you a bit here for my listeners. So why don't you tell the, listeners a little bit about yourself. My name is Mark Sowerby. I'm a husband, a father, a friend. I'm a sports fan. I eat too much. I talk too much, but I'm a pastor and a servant of Jesus Christ. I was looking at all your pictures and stuff, and I saw your progression of your weight loss. That is so amazing. Thank you. Thank you. And my weight loss journey is really just a symptom. Or result of the greater healing that's taken place in my life. Uh, I'm very proud of it. It's something [00:05:00] I have to work hard for and be very disciplined in. So yes, there's a work towards it, but really it's the sub to the main plot. The main plot is what Jesus did in my heart to help me forgive and help me heal the abuses and the pains. And as that began to fill my life, this weight loss journey with the discipline and that burning good habits and exercising, and I'm up to running, uh, six miles a day on the treadmill. So, wow. Six miles. Yeah. So well, remember, we're not in Arizona heat, so it's not hot, well, I have a treadmill. That's usually what I exercise on. I have an exercise room, I don't run unless somebody's chasing me or the laxative has started working. Those are good reasons to run. so let's start at the beginning. So what was your childhood like? Well, unfortunately I have a story of brokenness, pain, and sorrow. I was born from an affair. Uh, so my [00:06:00] father never really had a relationship with him. I am assuming that as soon as he, uh, got the news, he, he left. So I was raised by my mom. I have two siblings that my mom had from a prior marriage. So the three of us kind of lived together at my grandmother's house, and that's what I knew. That was what life was. I was seven years old. A young man came into our family, and that young man eventually married my mom 20 years, her younger, and when he came into our home, he brought abuse and pain. He brought death and destruction. He brought lies and poison. And as any abuser, those abusers have touched many people. And as not only did he abuse my mom in a and. With just vulgarness and pain, but he also abused me and with sexual abuse and physical abuse and emotional abuse. And it was just a very difficult time in my life. So from seven to 14, that's kind of the world I knew. Not only did he abuse my body, not only did he steal from [00:07:00] me, my dignity, my value. Not only did he try to control me, but he also sold me for other men to abuse me. Mm-hmm. Other men to take my body. He stabbed me and beat me and burnt me. And at 16, I was invited to church, I ran into a youth group. And, uh, there's a whole story in that. But let me tell you, I ran into youth group and I ran into Jesus. Jesus was Amen loving. Amen. Jesus's loving arms. He wrapped him around me and started me on the journey, journey of forgiveness. And it's been a journey up. I just turned 50. We just lost my mom earlier this year. Wow. They say a flu. Some say COVID, but we lost her earlier this year and it was really kind of a season for me to walk through some even deeper, deeper healing. We have a lot in common. 'cause I just lost my brother this week. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for your loss. Yeah. So we both have losses today. Yes. Yes. I'm so [00:08:00] sorry for your loss. You as well. Thank you. Your mother was a believer? She was at the end of her life. As we say, the 11th hour of Thief on the cross remember me. Mm-hmm. My mom did have one of those kind of conversions. Unfortunately, she never, the last few years of her life, she came to understand Jesus, but she never forgave herself or forgave. Her pain. She lived with the regrets and the shames and the guilt of her pains. She knew the love of Christ, and I believe that when she closed her eyes on this earth, she opened her eyes there because of what Christ did for her. But she carried this burden of shame and guilt and hurt. But I forgave her, not because I'm special, not because I'm better. I forgave her because Christ forgave me. And in that journey of learning with to forgive people say to me, how could you forgive such a great thing? I just forgave what was in front of me. That's it. Step by step, precept by precept. That's how I forgave. I [00:09:00] couldn't think about the whole journey all at it was too hard. What's in front of you? Well, we'll definitely get into, your process of forgiveness. Would it be okay to, circle back to your stepfather coming into your life? Now it sounded like it was a very violent to way he treated you. Did he do any grooming of you to start the abuse or was it violent right away? I believe there was grooming, again, being so young and, uh, being so, uh, naive. I probably didn't recognize it, but I'm sure there was grooming you know, there was this natural longing. From a child without a father to find a father figure. Mm-hmm. Um, being so young, not understanding the process of that, and any person that would gimme attention, I would run to them to try to find somebody who would govern me or lead me or [00:10:00] guide me or accept me. So I'm sure there was some manipulation in that, as I became more groomed or broken or became more pliable, if you would, because of my young immaturity. He began to have more of his way on it, just so you know. And I always refer to him as my mother's husband. Never as my stepfather? Yes. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, no, you didn't offend. No, I have forgiven him. I think in forgiveness, it's okay to have, uh, some boundaries. Sure. I think that, to have some healthy boundaries, I've forgiven him. I've put him in the hands of God, and I pray the grace of God will meet him and his pain and his sorrow, and only God can reach him. Uh, but again, there's some healthy boundaries around my life and my families. So what was your relationship with God when you were going through all this abuse? We grew up in a very religious home. I was a New England Protestant, so most of New England are [00:11:00] Irish Catholic, Italian Catholic, Polish Catholic, French Catholic. But I was the rare Protestant. And I remember saying to my grandfather one day, I asked him, I said I, well, let me back up and say, I always knew what I wasn't. I knew I wasn't a Catholic, but I didn't know what I was. So, grandpa used to tell us we weren't Catholic. He announced that pretty clearly. But one day I asked him, I said, then if we're not Catholic, what religion are we? And all he said was, go ask your mother. So, you know, we didn't really grow up in any kind of. Formal faith-based community, uh, you know, sometimes went to Christmas Eve service, you know, those kind of what we call Sea Easter and Christmas. The CE. The CE crowd. That's right. But it really wasn't, a church was not a part of my life. We knew God was there, be good and you go to heaven, be nice to people, you go to heaven. But there really wasn't a faith-based situation. I'll be honest with you, uh, the [00:12:00] only religion I got, or the only faith I got was the one album that was played in our home. It's not a Christian album, it was Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm a kid of the seventies. Yes, I'm very familiar with that. Yeah. And but God's name is so powerful now as a Bible college graduate, as a pastor, I could see all the holes of the theology in that and how it was really written, dragged down the gospel. They say Jesus Christ, and as a child, that name is so powerful. So, I mean, I didn't know anything. So here I was, I, I remember seven years old with a big headset on sitting in front of the speakers and listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. And, and now I realize what a mockery it was. But then just the name has power. Yeah, there was no resurrection in that movie. No, no, no. You know, when you have Mary Magdalene sing to, to him and say, you're just a man, [00:13:00] only a man. I mean, it's such a mockery. But again, at eight years old, 10 years old, I thank God that all truth belongs to God. Amen. And his name is so, amen, powerful. Amen. That every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. And as that name, Jesus was smoking, it pierced my darkness. Now, I didn't know about crying out. I didn't know about prayer, but God was preparing me for such a time. And at 16 the lifeguard at the apartment complex invited me to church. She was a pretty girl, and I didn't wanna say no. Uh, she invited she invited me and picked me up with her boyfriend. Oops. We went, yeah, we went to church that night and there began my journey into meeting Christ, knowing his mercy and grace into my faith walk and it's been a journey ever since. So is that when you, met the Lord for real [00:14:00] and got saved? Exactly, I was 16 years old. It was the early part of the summer and I went to that youth group and everybody told me that. To throw away my rock and roll music and to cut my hair and take my earring out. And everybody wanted to hug me and I didn't wanna be hugged by anybody. It's an evangelical Pentecostal church. And I was like, I don't, yeah. But come to find out, the youth pastor lived in the same apartment complex I did. I had a ride to church anytime it was open. So, later on that summer, mid-August, I remember a man inviting me, a young man from the youth group. It was raining. He was giving me a ride home. We got into his car and he asked me right there, uh, mark, do you wanna ask Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior? And we prayed right there the sinner's prayer. And I recognized the grace of God and the mercy of God and the Spirit of God. And at 16 years old, I asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord. And I thank him that he was calling me at such a time. So, and then I [00:15:00] had to grow up. Wow. And then I had to grow. I was still 16 with a messed up background and, still was spilling life all over myself. But that church loved me. They hugged me and kicked me in the can at the same time. Now were you out of your mom's house? Away from your abuser? Well. When the abuse first became, and I don't wanna say public, but when it became outside of the family when I meant the first person I confessed it to or, or shared it with, was my uncle. And I think that people have to remember my abuse happened from 19 7 7 to 1984. And the awareness and the advocacy that's out there today wasn't there then. And things like this happen behind closed doors. And I think culturally, not everybody, but culturally in most families said, we keep that stuff behind closed doors. We don't share it. We handle it as families. I told my uncle at [00:16:00] 14 years old. He was the first person I confessed to, and I ended up living with my uncle for about a year. He became my defender. So from about 14 to about 15 and a half, I lived with my uncle, and about 15 and a half I moved back with my mom. And yes, her husband was still there. But he, uh, he was very sickly at this time. So, he wasn't able to hurt me physically anymore. And I was strong enough to not allow anybody to hurt me anymore. So Now you said the word confess. Well, you didn't do anything wrong. Thank you. I, yeah, I just meant, I told. You shared your story, your abuse, uh, your victimization. So yeah. You don't have to apologize for anything. Amen. Thank you. That's right. It was probably a poor choice of words. I was just reading. I announced to my uncle, or I, I shared out, I took it out. I took it outta that simple family unit that I would tell my mom, [00:17:00] my mom having so much hurt and pain in her life, didn't know how to handle that. And just would say, well, he promises not to do it again. And he promised not to do it. And of course, so in a lot of ways I felt like my mom was a victim. And, and. Even though I've had to learn to forgive my mom because of what she allowed to happen, but in some ways, not that I justify it, but I've begun to understand it. Because she was abused by her first husband who broke her heart because, uh, just pain who had many affairs on her, and she was so broken down, so hurting and she did not understand love. I think she, um, interpreted love in a very, uh, trying to think of the word here you know, an enabling way. My mom was more of an enabler and I think she interpreted her love in enabling. So she enabled people. I mean, it sounds like [00:18:00] codependency. Was that the word you're looking for? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Thanks. So you struggled with your weight for years. Was that a symptom of your. Abuse your childhood? I, I think it was, you know, I'm, I'm not a psychologist or, a social worker. I'm a preacher, but you know, I think what I was trying to find in food was comfort, friendship. It always accepted me, uh, it comforted me when I was having a bad day and it rewarded me when I was having a good one. But like any drug, if you would, it lies to you. And it says, Hey, is everything will be okay. Just have a little bit more, have a little bit more, and, it just is. So for me, food became my drug of choice. Mm-hmm. Uh, it became where I found comfort, found peace, found acceptance. I punished myself with it. Boy, I'm no good. I'm going to eat ice cream. Oh, I'm having a great day. I'm gonna eat [00:19:00] ice cream. So, you know, it was one of those things. Uh, what I tell people is that I wish I could say to you that, that God has taken away all the hurt, all the pain, all the sorrow. It's still there in my life. It's still a familiar. Familiar pain that continues to call to me. But what God did is he became bigger. He became bigger than the pain. He became bigger than the shame. He became bigger than the hurt. So is it still there? Sure. And the flesh wants to run to it. And the psyche wants to run to it because I know it, it's comfortable. I, I know my role there. I, I understand what my protection and my manipulation that I can find there. But God became bigger. God became bigger. You know, I was telling a friend today, and I climbed a mountain after I lost about 50 pounds. I climbed a mountain. And it was about a half a mile long. And to me it was Everest. It was the biggest mountain in the world. And it took me hours [00:20:00] to go up and I had blisters on my feet and bruises on my toe. I was very proud that I climbed it. But after I lost about a hundred pounds, I climbed the biggest mountain in the state of New York called Mount Marcy. And what was the difference between those two mountains? One was bigger and I think that's the same thing. What happened to me is that even though that sometimes the enemy wants to try to bring me back to those familiar pains, those familiar insecurities, those familiar foes, God became bigger. His word, his spirit his love all became bigger. And I have to hold onto that and I have to claim, not claim it, but I have to run into it. You know, I have to run into that every day. So. Oh, you would love the mountains here. We have so many mountains to climb. So yeah. If you come to Phoenix, then we'll have to go hiking together. Yes. I wanna see that Grand Canyon. I wanna come to Phoenix. I am a New Englander, but it's cold [00:21:00] all the time here. But I hear that you guys leave for the summer and go back in the winter. We leave for the winter to warm places because it's so hot in Phoenix in the summer. Yeah. We're not snowbirds. We are here all year. Now we get to 110 every year. That's, that's normal. It gets to 120 here every summer. But this year it was 55 days of 110 degrees. Wow. Which, um, that killed all my plants and, uh, two of my trees, so Wow. Yeah, it's 70 degrees outside now, but in the summertime it's brutal. Wow. Don't come in the summer. Come in the winter. Okay. I, um, I did get to do a mission chip for Juarez, Mexico, which is obviously south of you guys and a little east, but at the same time, I got a touch of hot weather and I have done a lot of missions trips to Central America and the Caribbean, but they do have a different climate because of the sea and the water. So it's not that dry heat. [00:22:00] It's, definitely that, more moist, heat. Yeah, I think you'll do fine. Like I said, I looked forward to it. We were just in Israel in, November November, 2019, and it was 85 degrees. In Jerusalem and I roasted, I had such a hard time because the elevation was different and the humidity from the from the sea. Yeah. I don't know if you've been to Israel, I have not. Another, another bucket list, yeah yes, definitely recommend that for sure. Thank you. My wife and I, we love to travel. You know, we, we have four children, so right now our kids are in the ages of 15 to seven, so we are right in the midst of it. You know, we're, we're mom and dad, taxi and, and we homeschool. So my wife is going a hundred miles an hour all the time. Pastor wife. Homeschool mom and she's taking care of [00:23:00] me. So, I mean, this is, God bless her. If there's a hero in this story, it's my wife. Your wife's a homeschooler. Um, you had said in your story that you had dyslexia growing up. What was that like? Well, you know, I think that I still have it. Uh, God hasn't, hasn't healed me from it. So what happens is, is I tell people when the way I was raised, I survived my childhood. I wasn't raised, you know, I didn't have parents that, that looked out for me. I didn't have somebody who wanted to govern my experiences or, or was an advocate for me. So I, I really just kind of survived my childhood and one of the casualties of that. Was my education. Uh, it was the early seventies, so I think there was a lot going on with sight reading and some different kind of philosophies of teaching. So here I was in a broken home with a learning disability. I [00:24:00] was being bullied at school because the way I felt about myself and, you know, so yeah, reading has always been a chore for me. It still is a chore today. But again, the lord, he helps and he, he brings me through and he gave me a brilliant wife. Uh, she is a, a teacher by education. And my children love to read. My son will walk into walls. He reads books this thick. I mean, and I remember holding him the moment he was born, praying, Lord, give him just a heart for reading. And he does. I mean, my son 15 says, dad, can we go to the library? Love the library. Oh, he, yeah, we're friends with the librarian. Uh, if they need somebody to help him out, move books and they call him. But yes, reading has always been a chore and I, believe it or not, I'm in the midst of writing a book. Oh, I was just gonna ask that if you had a book out or not. We are just started to speak to a publisher, it's self-publishing company. Uh, so we're definitely in [00:25:00] conversations. We have written, just kind of let it pour out of me. It's been there for 50 years, so just kind of. And, uh, now we've kind of put it in front of people who really know what they're doing. I tell everybody, I wrote it my ways, I handed it to my wife and she interpreted it and made it legible. And, uh, we have some local friends who have done some basic editing, so they're kind of editing for us, and now we're sending it to the publisher who knows how to edit in a professional way. So, so, you know, the Lord told me years ago that this testimony would be written down. I remember I chuckled when he told me that because I said, Lord, I can barely read or write. And I remember saying to the Lord, Lord, if you want this written down, what am I gonna call it? He said, you'll call it Forgiving the Nightmare. So that's why the name of the ministry, the name of the book, the name of the website is called Forgiving the Nightmare. I think everybody uh, regardless of [00:26:00] how one came, you know, yours and I came in by probably hands of other people's, but sometimes nightmares come in by all different ways. Loss, regrets pains, hurts. And we all have to kind of say, Lord, how do we go through that? And I know as Christians, we want it instant, you know, we wanna stand on the word, we wanna claim it, we wanna save. Lord, give it to me. But I think sometimes we have to, uh, go through the process. I think of Jacob and how he wrestled with God, or he wrestled with the angel and they wrestled all night long. And, and God, the angel touched his hip and then he said, what do you want? And Jacob said, I want a new. And he became Israel, the promise. Mm-hmm. So he left deceiver, as you know, and he became Israel promise. And I think sometimes in that journey of forgiveness as much as Christians and people, we want it and we want it so true and so earnestly, [00:27:00] but sometimes we have to wrestle. We have to wrestle with the past. We have to wrestle with ourselves, we have to wrestle with the fears, and wrestling doesn't make us bad, doesn't make us sinners, doesn't mean God has left us. I think God's working with us, the process as a pastor, I've seen so many people who are unwilling to go through the process. And they get stuck. They get stuck in the cycle, in the the hurts and the pains of life. Just kind of build up on them. And I know God wants to set 'em free, but again, it, you have to learn to die to self crucify the old man, you know, tame the tongue. And it's hard. It's hard, especially when everything in the, especially when everything in the world tells you you're okay to have that. It's okay for you to hate. It's okay for you to be angry. It's okay for you to, when God says, for us to let him go first, let Him lead us. And God is, if we forgive those who trespass against us, he'll be faithful and just to forgive us. [00:28:00] And that scripture boy haunted me for a long time because I said, Lord, I'm not ready to begin. I'm sorry I'm preaching. No, you're awesome. I'm enjoying this. Um, I'm curious how you read your Bible. Do you use an audio bible or do you, um, do use an actual written Bible? Well, I do read Bible. I like the ESV, I like the NIV, I like those verses. I do read it. I do listen to audio at times. What happened was, is about 20, I was in my early twenties and a woman at church asked me to read the Christmas story out of Luke in front of the youth group. Now, when I say youth group, we had about a hundred youth in our youth group, maybe even 150. It was a large youth group and she was the kind of woman who would not take no for an answer. You know, the church lady? Yeah. I think every church has one of those. Yeah. And you know, I tried to give her every excuse in the [00:29:00] book, I lost my glasses. I was too embarrassed to say that I couldn't read. So I got up in front of the youth group and I read out of Luke chapter two and I. Stumbled over my words and I read slowly and I read broken up. And people were very kind to me that day. The youth pastor and the youth group, they were not cruel. And after service, that woman came back to me and said that she homeschooled her children and she would like to homeschool me if I'd want to. Now I was, I was a grownup. I was 23 and I went back to her house and there I sat with her 6-year-old, five-year old as she was teaching her 5-year-old, 6-year-old how to read. She was also teaching me phonics. I never learned phonics. I tell everybody, when I learned TION and Sean and not ion, it changed my life. Unbeknownst to me that church lady had an older daughter [00:30:00] and that older daughter watched me. Watch me struggle over my words, watch me go to the house and sit with her five-year-old sister and learn ae IOU and learn the rules of bowels and phonics. Well, years later, that older daughter would become my wife. Oh. Oh. So, yep. So, you know, she told me that she fell in love with me and she watched me there. And so that, that's a little bit of our love story. But yeah, she watched me from afar and, and now today we have four kids together and she still helps me read. So I do read. I a much stronger reader than I ever was. Uh mm-hmm. So I, I can read a much better than I could then. Well, I certainly can see looking back that you had so many people in your corner to that God sent to help you, and what a blessing. Now, did you go to college? I did. I [00:31:00] graduated from what's now called North Point Bible College. At the time, it was called Zion Bible College. It was in Barrington, Rhode Island. It was a very focused school for ministry only. Uh, so I did go there. I didn't wanna go there. I'm a New Englander. I knew about the school. It was in my backyard. I wanted to go to Southeastern to Florida. I wanted to go to pennsylvania and go to Valley Forge. Uh, those doors were not open to me. I remember saying, the Lord, I'm done. Lord, I've tried. Everybody's rejecting me because of my education. And he said, go to Zion. I went in and I met with the Dean of students. In that meeting, the dean of students said to me, mark, do you have a call? I said, yes, I believe I do have a call. He got up from his desk and he went to a big picture window, a woman who was walking in front of his picture window, and he tapped onto the window and he called this woman in. As she came [00:32:00] into his office, he introduced me to a woman named Jan Kruger. He let me know that Jan was led by God to go to school, to go to Zion the week earlier than me to start a learning center. And Jan and I became our first student in the learning center and we worked hard. The first year, most of my, classes were uncredited 'cause I had to learn how to be a student. I didn't know what a syllabi was. I didn't know how to take tests. Uh, we sat in that learning center. I cried, I complained. She was a mom. She hugged me sometimes and she told me to. To suck it up sometimes. And, uh, that was the best advice I could get. So yeah, i'm a proud graduate of Zion Bible College, and I'm ordained with the Assembly of God. So when did you get called into the ministry? Well, pretty much after, it was about my 17th year, 16 years old, I got saved and 17 years old, I was [00:33:00] at a Youth convention, and I pretty much felt like the Lord called me then. Now, I ran from that call for a long time because of my insecurities, my fears, my inabilities. See, when I walked into the room, I always felt like I was junk. Like I was dirt. Like I could offer nobody, nothing. And I was, no, you know, I, that's how I felt about myself. So who would let me be that pastor? What do I have to offer? I could barely read. Look what happened to me. So. For many years I wrestled with it and about 24, 25 years old, I had a brand new truck, little S 10 pickup truck. They called it Bernie because it was purple. I was listening to Petra, remember a Petra? I love Petra. And I was, I was listening to Petra from the seventies not the nineties. Petra and I remember I was listening to Petra and the Holy Spirit filled with the cab of that car and that truck I had to [00:34:00] pull over. I was on old post road. I'll never forget tears coming down my face. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, mark, choose this day whom you'll serve. I've called you and I will equip you. And I said, God, I want you. That's when the journey of. Colleges, and I wish I could tell you it was all roses and cherries after that. It wasn't, you know, there's still a lot of growing up and a lot of overcoming, and a lot of dying to self. And, and there still is. But yeah, that's how I got called and I went to that school and they loved me. They were honest to me. You sound like you had a lot , in coming with Moses with his speech impediment. He was, exiled to be a goat and a sheep herder. They're not gonna listen to me, Lord. You know? Did you feel like that? Oh, sure. I sure did. Like I said, I, for most of my life, I felt like what can I offer? So what I did is I put a facade on myself or I, I lived up to the role that I [00:35:00] thought people wanted from me, or a role to, to find acceptance or protection. So, if I had to be the clown, I was the clown. If I had to be the fool, I was the fool. If I had to be the weak, I was the weak because I felt those things about me. Recently in this weight loss journey and this giving, God has given me confidence. And I say that with much humility because I know it's not my confidence, it's confidence in him. But I've never had confidence before. I feel like a carpenter with a new tool. I feel like, you know, a businessman with a new suit that I've never had confidence before. Now again, it's not confidence in what I have. Because I'm still weak, but it's a confidence going, my Abba father makes a way for me. My Abba father heals me and, and goes before me. So it's, it's a kind of a new season for me to be confident and say, you know what? I can live a healthy life. People ask me why I lost the weight. [00:36:00] And I remember I was reading the scripture, and you're probably familiar with it, is when the Pharisee comes to the Lord or it says to him, Lord, how does one enter the kingdom of heaven? And the Lord says, well, what is written? He says, Lord, love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, and with all your spirit, and love your neighbor as yourself. I've read that a million times. I've preached on it. I've studied it. One day I was reading it, he said, Lord, I know you love me, mark, but you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love yourself, so you can't love your neighbor. And I realized because I didn't love myself, I wasn't taking care of myself. I love my children. I love my wife. I wanna take care of 'em. They don't need me. I wife can, but I want to. I wanna do things for, I wanna take care of 'em. I wanna help 'em be better and stronger and smarter and wiser, and love the Lord. And I realized I didn't love myself. So the weight loss journey, forgiving the nightmare, forgiving my mom, forgiving the abusers, forgiving those [00:37:00] who betrayed me as a child, helped me begin to love myself again. No visions of grander. I'm still a just a normal guy saved by grace. Uh, I still put my big foot in my mouth, my wife can come in and tell you all the stories, but, uh, but you know, I started to love myself and. It sounds like, you found your self worth in the Lord Jesus because Jesus sees you as his child. You are a child of God, and that's where your worth is. So it sounds like your healing journey brought you to that place. Yeah. It's not self-confidence like the world says it is. It's how God sees you. You're precious and you're loved. Amen. And you're valuable. He died for you. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. You're gonna get me going now. Hallelujah. Hallelujah, hallelujah. I want others to [00:38:00] experience this. You know, I, my whole ministry, I've been surrounded by hurting people and hurting churches. I've worked with people that have had major traumas in their life. Not that I ever sought it. I can't. I think the Lord just led me to it. And as I've worked with people, people say that I've been able to bring comfort. I'm easy to talk to. I thought, well, okay, Lord. And I want people to find that freedom that I have. I understand being shackled to pain in the past. I understand allowing those things to form the way you think about and believe about yourself, and never truly being set free. Waking up with that numbing feeling of brokenness all the time. All the time, just constantly. But God truly set me free. He set me free. And because he set me free, I'm nobody special. And being a pastor, I see so many people that have a [00:39:00] form of this and they don't. They haven't gone through it. So they're still living with a confession in Christ, but still the hurts of the past. Blame them. I don't, I'm not putting fingers, I'm not taking the log out on my own eye before I take the twig from their eye. But I'm saying the freedom that God has for his people. Uh, and again, do we still stumble? Yeah. Do we still need refining? Sure. Are we still the clay? And he's still the potter of court, but there's a freedom that we find as a pastor. I've just met so many people who will say, pastor, I'm killed. I'm delivered. And you realize it's, it's only an inch deep. It's, you know, as soon as they get tested, as soon as they get, get bothered, it just spills out. It pulls out of them in, in a defense or in, in a rejection or in a way they, they have a self view of the world or of themselves. Now God's consent is free. God can set [00:40:00] us free. So, what's the difference between being a victim and being victorious? Hallelujah. Well, in my humble opinion, a victim is somebody who always sees themselves broken, sees themselves in a way that, that that allows them to stay in their victimhood. For a long time, my victimhood became my identity. I remember one day when the Lord brought me to the altar and he said those words to me. He said, mark, I want you to give this up. And I literally said, in an audible voice, Lord, if I'm not a victim, then what am I? Because all I knew was the, the role of being a victim. Oh, my victimhood was good. I could manipulate with it. I could win every argument with it. Oh, when I was 16 years old, my mom, who was a single mom with not much money she bought me a car. I had a phone in my room. I had cable on my own [00:41:00] tv. She made me breakfast in bed. Why she owed that to me. Why? Because I was a victim. And I got to see how I could win every argument at school. I could put my head down and I could lift up my head and go, well, who here else was molested? I was, and no one would say anything. And the Lord rebuked me at that and said, said, yeah, that's what victims do. At least that's what I did. He said, I wanna make you victorious. And I remember him saying, me saying to the Lord, if I'm not a victim, what am I? And he said, you're victorious in me. I had to learn what it meant to be victorious. Amen. I had to learn to let that facade go. Let that personality go, let that old man die and let the new man of Christ rise up inside him. That is awesome. I just love that. I've never heard anybody describe it like that. Now, I prefer the, word survivor instead of victim. But I think you took [00:42:00] it up another notch. We are, victorious in the Lord. Well, my victimhood, you know, as much as I was a victim, but I used it for my own gain. Mm-hmm. Which made me just as not guilty of what happened to me, but made me not a healthy place. It put me in a Right. But it's all I knew, you know, I could manipulate, I could win the argument. Right. I was the guy. Who else here was stabbed and burnt and abused? I could show you my scars where they stabbed me. I could show you the burn marks. I was prostituted for other men to abuse me. Boy, you know, I could really win the, the argument. But that was wrong. Yeah, it was wrong. It was wrong to put that on my mother, it's wrong to put that on my family. It was wrong to put that on others. And the Lord had to rebuke me and, uh, wow. And he did, because he loves, he rebukes the ones he loves, so he rebuked you. I just so appreciate your raw [00:43:00] and honest, telling of your story. Because, you've heard stories where they just put the fluff or they put the stuff that's gonna, bring up the ratings or whatever. But you really, kept it real. And I think you're a great pastor because people see that you're a real person. You're not some fake up there that can't relate to your congregation's problems, do you feel that way? Oh, definitely. You know, my congregation, as you know, like we talked earlier, I wrestle with dyslexia and every once in a while I'll stumble over a word while I'm reading the Bible and in front of my congregation. And, and that really bothered me for a long time. My Lord, I'm a pastor. How can I not read this and now. When I stumble over a word, my congregation yells it up to me. So I'll be on the platform. And you know what? They'll see me stumbling and you know, they'll yell it up to me and it's just a term of endearment. [00:44:00] It's not been one of rejection or shame, and I say, you know what? I'm doing that just to make sure you're in the Bible. That's what I tell 'em. But I'll be reading the scripture and, and my dyslexia kick in, or, or the word will be all scrambled. And, and they're the kind voices. Oh, pastor, that's, that means this. And, and it's kind of a nice direction. I tell people the church I pastor is a real church with real people serving a real God. Wow. So, wow. Fancy fluff. Church don't come to us because, you know, we're real and we cry together, we do life together. We step on each other's toes. We don't always agree, but we always love God. That is so awesome. Pastor of Christian is Alia Scott. That's right. I didn't announce your church name. I wanted to ask you to tell another story about. You said that you met your birth father at one point. What happened during that reunion Union? [00:45:00] Well, I was 45 years old and I wanted to reach, I wanted to know, I tell people my birth father and I met at the right place in life. I think if I would've met him younger, I would've still been angry. Rejected Kyle, but I was 45. I was the father of four. I've made my own mistakes, my own problems. I learned to mature a little bit. To be really frank, my father's wife passed on, so he was more ready to meet me. So his wife that he had the affair on to si me, if you would, she passed. So he was more open to meet me and uh, I just didn't meet him, but the whole family met him together. We met in a restaurant, we met in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and the family came in and the kids instantly. Started to call him grandpa. I thought, I don't know if I'm okay with that. And he never rejected it. So the last few years of [00:46:00] life, we just lost him. I, I had him for about four years. It wasn't warm and fuzzy, daddy and son, but it was something, we had a relationship. We'd talk about sports, we'd talk about life. He was a snowbird from Massachusetts to Florida and he just kind of let me know. So I'm very thankful for the four years I had. Again, it wasn't, Hey buddy, I'm proud of you kind of moment, but I got to find out a little bit about. Who my dad was and who some of my relatives are on my father's side. I got to learn about some of the health conditions of, of my father. And you know, he said he was pretty, he made it to 84. He liked to drink and he liked ladies, I like Jesus, I like one lady, Wow. That's an incredible story. I tell people it was the right time. Again, if I would've met him at 25, I would've been angry. I would've said, you know, why did you abandon me? 45 was a good time because. You know what, by that [00:47:00] time I, I stepped in enough life of my own to, to not, to be slow to judge, oh, God does have the perfect timing. I haven't spoken much about my story at all on here, but my husband and I talk about, boy, I wish that we had met, long time ago, you know, and skipped all the pain because we were both victims of abuse from our previous spouses. I'm sorry. And, um, but we thought about it and we thought we were different people. If we met at that time, I don't think I would've been interested in you and you wouldn't have been interested in me. And, I think that God brought us together this time of our life. No, we've been married 11 years. Congratulations. Thank you. So, God brought us together at our time of life because that was the perfect time and Sure. We're best friends. We never even have had a real fight. We didn't disagree, of course, but now you should write a book [00:48:00] about that. Okay. I mean, we disagree and, um, get on each other's nerves, but the Lord has just, you're normal. Just blessed us. Yeah, we're definitely normal. Um, especially during pandemic. It's like you learn about your spouse when you're stuck with them 24 7. Right? That's true. That's true. Yeah, we had to make some adjustments. Amen. And, um, we still love each other, and that it's great when you're talking about times of life, you know, for such a time as this, and I think for me, the Lord spoke to me years ago about forgiving the nightmare ministry. He actually spoke to me when I was in college about this. I didn't know it was gonna, uh, blossom or what it was gonna look like, but he spoke to me years ago about writing it down and it was always inside me. And I kept, my wife knew about it. We would always think, how's the, what's the Lord gonna do with this? Is it distant inside me to guide me through life? Is it more for others? Is it, Lord, how's it, how's it [00:49:00] gonna? Blossom if you would manifest. And we lost my mom and I have to tell you that, not immediately, but pretty quick. After losing my mom, I felt like this ministry could just launch. And it has launched. God has brought, brought a web designer into our life. He's brought some, um, producers into our life to help me tell the story. We're talking with a, an editor and a publisher. All this has happened fairly quickly. And I think, Lord, why now? And I think, to be honest with you, and this is just my opinion, I, I don't know if I have chapter and verse to back this up, but my mom was so embarrassed. She was so full of shame because of my upbringing every time for the last 20 years of my life, every time me and my mom were alone together, she would just apologize. And I don't just mean say, sorry. She would grovel and I would say, mom, I forgive you. I forgive you, [00:50:00] Marky. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And if my mom knew that I was speaking to podcasts or writing a book, she would've been so, so embarrassed. So she may, it would've just troubled her so much. So I think outta the grace of God, and again, don't have chapter and verse, but I think upon her passing released me to be able to share this story, to be able to bring others into it, to just think God was being merciful to my mom on her journey. And again, it was almost pretty instant after her, uh, her own passing that I remember being on the treadmill one morning and the Lord just kind of. Just impressing upon me by giving the nightmare. Remember those words? I spoke to you. This is where it's gonna take place. And since then, we've made a couple videos, uh, we've launched a website. I'm talking to wonderful people like yourself and just trying to get the [00:51:00] story out of forgiving the Nightmare and trying to say to people whatever that nightmare was. Was it physical and sexual abuse like mine? Was it a tragedy in your life? Is it regrets? Is it fears? Is it the loss of a child or a loved one? Whatever that pain is that your nightmare. I want you to know that God can help you forgive it and overcome it and break the shackles so we don't have to be the man or the person. The hurt tried to make us. We no longer have to be Jacob. We can become Israel. Your mom would be so proud of you. And I think that, thank you. If, the Lord's probably told her, you know, the good things that have come out of a terrible situation, she said she had, you said she had some shame. Oh. I think if she was looking down at you now that, that shame would be gone. [00:52:00] That shame is no longer there. Look how God's using my son, my, my wonderful son to spread the gospel and to help people. And so Well, thank you. I'm so thankful for you, brother. Thank you for saying those words, sister. It's very kind of you. I used to say to my mom, even up to her last days, I would say, mom, who's your favorite? And she would say, I love you all, all the same. And I'd say, mom, stop lying to my siblings. I'm the youngest of three. My older brother and my older sister never made me feel like a step or a half brother. Uh, we just kind of always lived in the same house. We got real family problems and just life, but they've never left, never met me, felt, never let me feel like I was less than even to today. So I'm very thankful. My oldest sister, who is, a second mom to me, my oldest sister, she is my second mom and I'm thankful for her. So. Wow. Well, we [00:53:00] just had just a great time tonight. When your book comes out, please contact me. I would love to have you on the show again, to promote your book because obviously you, your story is so powerful and we wanna get it out to as many people as we can. So, tell the folks how to connect with you. Well, the best way to connect with me is@forgivingthenightmare.com. Forgiving the nightmare.com. Forgiving the nightmare.com is the best way to connect with me. If you go there, you'll find a email, it's called mark@forgivingthenightmare.com. That comes directly to me, right on my phone. So that's the best way to connect with me. Also you can go to our Facebook page called, forgiving the Nightmare. For giving Nightmare Facebook page. I try to put up pictures and little devotions there and stories there. So that's the two. Best way through Facebook, after Giving the Nightmare, after giving the Nightmare do [00:54:00] com, those are the best ways to connect with me. And I hope to get so Arizona someday. You have an open invitation. Wow. I'll be a tour guide for you. I know that Arizona like the back of my hand. Wow. Wow. Now my children could hear you in the background, so they're gonna be pretty excited about that invitation. There's so much stuff for, for their Edge group as well. So, we will hook you guys up. So thanks for being patient with the tech stuff and I'm glad we pushed through and didn't let the devil get the victory tonight. We found a way to get you on here. That's right. May I pray for you as we close. Oh yes, please. Thank you. Father God, we just come to you tonight and we thank you again for your son, Jesus Christ. Lord, we thank you for the sacrifice that he gave to us upon the cross, Lord. And we pay the price we could not pray, Lord. And we thank you for the gift of life [00:55:00] and life more abundant. Lord, we thank you for the promises. It says in this life there will be many troubles, but fear not because you are with us always. And Lord, tonight I pray for my sister. Father, I thank you that you're using her Lord. To spread the gospel to share, hope to be a light and a dark place. But Father, now, I pray that you come beside her father as she's shared that she's lost her brother this week, Lord. And I pray you comfort her. Lord, you said you had to go so the comforter could come. I pray, the comfort of the Holy Spirit will come beside my sister and be with her and her family as they grieve their loved one, their family member, their friend, Lord. So Lord I pray peace upon my sister. I pray Lord that you use her, continue to bless her. I thank you for the testimony of her and her husband, 11 years that you've brought together for such a time as this. I pray, Lord God, that they grow closer to you so they can grow closer to each other. And Lord, we thank you tonight [00:56:00] that Lord, we're no longer Jacob. You've made us Israel Father, no longer do we have to be shaped by our past, but now we can hold on to the promises. Lord, no longer does, we have to be shackled by somebody else's abuse, and we can be set free by your word. So, Lord, I pray that you fill us. You lead us, and may we be the light and may we be the salt, and may we lift up your name. We pray for a unity across our nation. We pray for a healing across our land, and we pray, Lord, for a revival of your salvation to come to our our country again, in Jesus name, amen. Thank you so much, brother. God bless, sister. Thank you. Take care yourself. Bye now. Bye. Thank you for listening to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast. If this episode has been helpful to you, please hit the subscribe button and tell a friend. You could connect with us at [00:57:00] DSW Ministries dot org where you'll find our blog, along with our Facebook, Twitter, and our YouTube channel links. Hope to see you next week.

In this episode, Ed DeVaney joins the sisters of "Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver" to share his deeply personal caregiving experience. Raised in a competitive and close-knit Irish Catholic family in Chicago, Ed describes a childhood filled with familial connections and strong influences from his mother, who not only modeled the values of care and perseverance but also became the central figure in his own journey as a caregiver. When Ed moved to North Carolina for a major career opportunity, it coincided with the onset of his mother's dementia and Alzheimer's diagnosis—changes that altered the dynamic of his family and thrust him, alongside his two older sisters, into the complexities of caring for an ailing parent.Ed speaks candidly about the emotional and logistical challenges that came with balancing his professional growth, the demands of an MBA program, and raising his young family while regularly traveling back to Chicago to help care for his mom. He highlights the family tensions, the guilt of missing pivotal moments in his children's lives, and the difficulties of honoring his mother's wish never to enter a nursing home—a promise the siblings ultimately struggled with before acknowledging her increasing needs. Looking back, Ed shares honest reflections on vulnerability, the importance of asking for help, and the lessons this experience has taught him as both a leader and a father. Above all, his story underscores the universal challenges faced by caregivers, the enduring bonds of family, and the need for grace—toward others and oneself—throughout the journey.About Ed:Ed DeVaney is a Chicago native from a large, close-knit family. Growing up, he was a dedicated athlete, and that competitive spirit continues to drive him today. Ed has been married to his wife, Michelle, for 20 years, and together they have three children: Grace, Chloe, and Ryan. Their family also includes three dogs: Lakota, Lola, and Poncho.Support the showConfessions of a Reluctant Caregiver Sisterhood of Care, LLC Website: www.confessionsofareluctantcaregiver.com Like us on Facebook! Tweet with us on Twitter! Follow us on Instagram! Watch us on Youtube! Pin us on Pinterest! Link us on LinkedIn!Tune in on Whole Care Network

Mary Alice Stephens loved alcohol; she drank every day and made sure her social life was full of opportunities to drink. Coming from a large Irish Catholic family, drinking was normalised and celebrated. She joins Veronica to discuss what happens after you put the drink down. To learn more, visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠show notes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Discussing the Irish contingent at the Raising Hope conference and the future of faith and climate action -Bishop Martin Hayes of Kilmore; former Irish environment minister and Green Party leader Eamon Ryan; and campaigner Jane Mellett, church manager at Irish Catholic overseas development agency Trocaire. More information at climatepilgrim.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our guest Megan K. Stack began a recent op-ed in the New York Times describing a contentious debate about anti-immigration riots in the Northern Ireland Assembly, “each speaker straining to upstage the last in outrage and fervor.” But unlike many opinion writers, she doesn't go on to expound on the importance of civility in public discourse. Instead, she marvels that this debate is happening at all – amidst the children of Protestant paramilitaries and I.R.A. bombers, people who grew up in communities that battled each other bitterly for about 30 years – but now share power under a peace agreement that's endured for almost as long. Megan K. Stack is a  journalist and contributing opinion writer for the New York Times, who's reported from several conflict zones including Israel/Palestine and Northern Ireland. In this episode, she analyzes key moments and actors in the negotiations that ended the “Troubles,” the 3 decades of violence between Irish Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland. And she makes the case for applying lessons from that peace process to Israel's negotiations with Gaza – including on the sensitive issue of disarmament.Read Megan Stack's essay Northern Ireland, Gaza and the Road to Peace.Use this link to share the episode: www.makingpeacevisible.org/megan-stackMusic in this episode by Blue Dot Sessions and Joel Cummins.  ABOUT THE SHOW The Making Peace Visible podcast is hosted by Jamil Simon and produced by Andrea Muraskin. Our associate producer is Faith McClure. Learn more at makingpeacevisible.orgSupport our work Connect on social:Instagram @makingpeacevisibleLinkedIn @makingpeacevisibleBluesky @makingpeacevisible.bsky.social We want to learn more about our listeners. Take this 3-minute survey to help us improve the show!

Musician Paul Field on grieving the death of his baby girl, Bernadette, and how she inspired his family band, The Wiggles, to bring joy into the lives of millions of children. CW: This episode of Conversations discusses the death of a child.Paul Field was on tour in Queensland with his band, the Cockroaches, when he received a call that would alter his life forever.His 7-month-old baby daughter, Bernadette, had unexpectedly died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).Paul and his wife, Pauline, had never imagined they would one day plan a funeral for their baby, but that's what they had to do.Surrounded by their close-knit families and with support from mental health professionals, Paul and Pauline grieved differently but together, realising that fully reckoning with the their tragic loss was the only way they could move forward for their eldest son, Luke, and for the three more children to come. Today, Paul loves finding any opportunity to talk about Bernadette, his gentle, joyful baby girl.In fact, Bernadette, changed the course of Paul's next family project: The Wiggles -- a band that has connected with millions of children for the last 30 years.Help and support is always available. You can call or text Lifeline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.Read more about research into SIDS, and find out more about counselling services available to parents who have lost a child at the Red Nose website.This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive Producer is Nicola Harrison.It explores unexplained death of a child, how to cope with losing a child, loss, Red Nose Day, Sids for Kids, grief, marriage, love, relationships, music, family bands, big families, Irish Catholic families, Sydney in the 1980s, pub rock, skivvies, Anthony Field, Emma Watkins, Dorothy the Dinosaur, Greg Page, Jeff Fatt, Wake up Jeff,  Lachlan Gillespie, Simon Pryce, Tsehay Hawkins, Evie Ferris, John Pearce, Caterina Mete, Lucia Field, big red car, police corruption, NSW police, royal commission, Sydney gangs, drugs, substance abuse.To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you'll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Marianne Power is the author of Love Me, a book chronicling her journey to reclaim her sexuality and confidence through exploring tantra and workshops on intimacy. Marianne shares her initial hesitation when first invited to a tantra retreat, describing it as terrifying, especially given her Irish Catholic upbringing and years of feeling disconnected from her sexuality. However, curiosity and a desire for deeper self-understanding led her to attend, and despite her fears, it became a life-changing experience.She recounts her first retreat with tantra teacher Jan Day, whom I have interviewed for the podcast previously, where she faced exercises that challenged her preconceptions about touch, intimacy, and vulnerability. From walking toward strangers and making eye contact to simply saying "yes" or "no" to touch, she learned to confront insecurities and discover her true desires. For Marianne, the experience wasn't just about sex; it was about reconnecting with her body, understanding her boundaries, and realizing that others shared similar fears and struggles.Through this journey, Mary Ann also explored other tools and perspectives, such as reading The Ethical Slut, which helped her embrace a non-traditional lifestyle of "friends and lovers." She's now confident that happiness doesn't have to follow the societal script of marriage and children. Writing her book allowed her to share this message openly, despite initial fears about how her family and friends might react. She found that being honest about her experiences has inspired others to reconsider their own paths to intimacy and self-acceptance.Looking ahead, Marianne continues living her unconventional life while working on her next book, Pay Me, which will explore her relationship with money and financial struggles. Her journey serves as a reminder that it's never too late to explore intimacy, challenge societal expectations, and live authentically. Whether through tantra workshops, self-help books, or simply honest conversations, Marianne's story demonstrates that reinvention is possible - no matter what your age! What's this about?Hi, I'm Suzanne, author of the bestseller ‘The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker: An Erotic Memoir,' pleasure seeker and curious about ways to improve our intimate relationships as we age.Each week, I delve into a different aspects of sex, dating and relationships with an expert which I bring to you via the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast. Once a week, I write or invite a guest to write a more personal story, which could be in the form of an erotic experience, a sex toy review or perhaps a new perspective, typically behind a paywall.Alongside this Substack, I advocate for the right to sexual pleasure in later life through speaking engagements, attending conferences and other events, which your subscription helps to pay me to attend.Being a subscriber has multiple benefits for you:* Receive my book, ‘Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life' * Join my private chat where you can ask questions of a personal nature* Helping to contribute to the conversation around sex and sexual health in later lifeI'm grateful for each and every subscriber that pays £6.99 or £49.99 per year so do consider taking a subscription if you have the means to do so.Hey, but don't take it from me. Here's what others say about Sex Advice for Seniors:“Not enough older voices talking about sex. Are we just supposed to dry up and fade away?”“I enjoy staying abreast of new ideas and learning new ways to please my wife.”“Straight non judgmental information that relates to my needs.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

Today, we're really diving into an obscure niche. . . Rome in the 1860s — a decade of revolution, nationalism, and, oddly enough, British and Irish Catholics signing up to fight for the Pope. Our guest is historian Nicholas Schofield, author of Victorian Crusaders: British and Irish Volunteers in the Papal Army, 1860–70. It's a story of faith, politics, and some very unlikely Redcoats in baggy Zouave trousers. The book is published by Helion and here is the link to buy - https://amzn.to/46tsA48  Special thanks to my good mate Dr Christopher Brice for conducting today's interview. He is an expert in his own right and has written a number of books about Victorian military History - https://www.helion.co.uk/people/christopher-brice.php  Sign up for my mailing list to receive your free eBook about the battle of Isandlwana - https://redcoathistory.com/newsletter/  And come tour the Zulu War battlefields with me by signing up for a tour here - https://paystack.com/buy/the-zulu-war-a-self-drive-tour-with-redcoat-history-devkrw 

This podcast opens a broader series on the 1798 Rebellion, but also works as a stand alone episode.For over a century, Irish Catholics and Presbyterians were subjected to the Penal Laws. Although the vast majority of the population, they were banned from voting, sitting in parliament, bearing weapons, and entering many professions—the list goes on.This episode explores the deeply unequal society these laws created. By following the life of Emily Fitzgerald, who moved to Ireland in 1747, we gain a unique insight into this world. I explain how the Penal Laws emerged after a century of warfare, how Catholics resisted their brutal treatment, and how these laws created a deeply unequal and unstable society.To find our feet in this world, we begin in the harrowing winter of 1740, which led to the Year of Slaughter—the worst famine in Irish history.This podcast launches my series on the 1798 Rebellion. The next instalment, Part 2, will be available early and ad-free for show supporters next Monday.Become a supporter today and get exclusive early and ad-free access at:Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IrishpodcastSupercast: https://irishhistory.supercast.com/Sound: Kate DunleaAdditional Research: Stewart ReddinVoice Actors: Aidan Crowe & Therese MurrayA list of sources for the 1798 Rebellion is available here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/138580354 (the post is not paywalled) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this deeply moving and powerful episode of The Surviving Siblings® Podcast, host Maya Roffler is joined by Michael Tobin, who shares the raw and unfiltered story of losing his older brother, Jimmy, to homicide in 1992. Over 30 years later, Michael reflects on how this traumatic event shaped his life, his family, and his ongoing mission to keep Jimmy's memory alive. Michael recounts the joys of growing up in a big Irish-Catholic family in the Bronx, the tight-knit neighborhood where breakdancing, graffiti, and hip-hop shaped their youth, and the bond he shared with Jimmy—a wisecracking, creative, loyal soul who was beloved by all who knew him. But in April of 1992, that world was shattered when Jimmy was chased down and killed just 100 yards from their front door. This episode explores not only the devastating loss of a sibling to violence, but also the long-term impact of unresolved cases, complicated grief, faith, family dynamics, and the lifelong journey of honoring someone gone too soon. Michael's story is one of heartbreak, healing, and finding strength through memory, community, and creative expression.   In This Episode: (0:00:00) – Meet Michael and Remembering Jimmy Michael shares about growing up in a big family in the Bronx in the 80s, surrounded by hip-hop, graffiti, and a strong sibling bond with Jimmy. (0:03:00) – Jimmy: The Artist, Protector, and Big Brother Jimmy's love for graffiti, music, and community come to life, along with heartfelt memories of his protectiveness and humor. (0:06:00) – A Brush with Death: Jimmy's 1990 Car Accident Michael recounts how Jimmy survived a devastating crash at 16, learning to walk again—a trauma that predated his murder. (0:08:00) – April 3, 1992: The Night Everything Changed Jimmy was ambushed just a block from home. Michael describes the events leading to the homicide and its immediate aftermath. (0:14:00) – A Phone Call, A Car Ride, and A Life Shattered Michael shares the harrowing moment he found out about his brother's death while staying in Long Island. (0:17:00) – Delivering the News to Jimmy's Girlfriend In one of the most emotional moments of the episode, Michael describes having to tell Jimmy's girlfriend about his death. (0:18:00) – Wakes, Funeral, and Unimaginable Loss Three days of public grieving culminate in Jimmy's funeral—a moment that changed Michael's life forever. (0:22:00) – Reading the Eulogy: A 15-Year-Old's Defining Moment Michael reflects on writing and reading a letter with his siblings to Jimmy—an act that would shape his voice and purpose for decades. (0:26:00) – The Long Grief Journey: 30 Years of Remembering Michael discusses the evolution of grief, the anger, the love, and the unshakable commitment to never letting Jimmy be forgotten. (0:29:00) – Graffiti Memorials, Tagging, and Street Reminders He shares stories of tribute murals, Taz tags, and how graffiti became a way of keeping Jimmy's spirit alive in the neighborhood. (0:33:00) – The Case Still Unsolved Michael speaks on the pain of unresolved homicide cases and the faith his mother held onto despite the lack of justice. (0:35:00) – Faith, Anger, and Letting Go He recalls his mother's unwavering faith and how he eventually turned a corner from hatred to honoring how Jimmy lived. (0:38:00) – Closure Isn't Real, But Perspective Is Maya and Michael discuss the myth of closure, and why time doesn't heal—but allows you to carry grief differently. (0:42:00) – Friends, Support, and Found Family Michael expresses gratitude for the friends and chosen family who carried him through the darkest years. (0:44:00) – Coping Without Answers They dive into the reality of unsolved cases, lingering pain, and how the pursuit of justice often looks nothing like TV. (0:49:00) – Advice for Siblings Grieving Homicide Loss Michael offers heartfelt advice for those stuck in anger, seeking justice, or waiting for closure that may never come. (0:51:00) – Family Dynamics, Different Grief Journeys He reflects on how each sibling grieved differently and how his mother's legacy of “stay together” held the family through decades.   Listen to the full episode of “Michael Loses Jimmy To Homicide” now on all major platforms. This episode is sponsored by The Surviving Siblings®   Connect with Michael:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1BVqGoMYNm/?mibextid=wwXIfr Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaeltobinbx?igsh=MTJzdWxud2dzYWhlNg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@michaeltobinbx?_t=ZT-8ykCk48tOak&_r=1 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1FFfiGmNiD/?mibextid=wwXIfr Connect with Maya: Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/survivingsiblingspodcast/ Maya's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mayaroffler/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@survivingsiblingspodcast Twitter: https://x.com/survivingsibpod Website: thesurvivingsiblings.com Facebook Group: The Surviving Siblings Podcast YouTube: The Surviving Siblings Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheSurvivingSiblingsPodcast  

Averill Earls is an associate professor in history at St. Olaf's College and her research focuses on sexuality and modern Ireland. Her writing has appeared in the Journal of the History of Sexuality, Historical Reflections (in the top-visited issue of the journal to date), Perspectives Magazine, Nursing Clio, and Notches Blog. In 2021 she was awarded the Judith R. Walkowitz Article Prize for her 2020 article, "Solicitor Brown and His Boy." Prof. Earls is also one of the four feminist historians and award-winning podcasters who founded Dig: A History Podcast in 2017. Love in the Lav: A Social Biography of Same-Sex Desire in Ireland, 1922-1972 (Temple UP, 2025) tells the unexpected, sometimes heartbreaking, stories of Dublin's men who desired men and the Gardaí who policed them. The book uncovers Ireland's queer lives of the past. Averill Earls investigates how same-sex-desiring men lived and loved in a country where their sexuality was illegal and seen as unnatural. Across seven social biographical chapters, each highlighting individuals at the nexus of these histories, Earls constructs a narrative of experiences through the larger contexts in which they are embedded. She uses courtroom testimonies, police records, and family history archives as well as “educated speculation” to show how structures governing male same-sex desire in Ireland played out on the bodies of the men who desired men, the teen boys who sold sex to men, and the way the Catholic-nationalist ethos shaped the Gardaí who policed them. Love in the Lav examines the experiences of people such as cabbie James Hand, who was put on trial for gross indecency, to provide a window into the queer working-class subculture of 1930s Dublin. Earls also focuses on issues of consent, especially with teens, and the unregulated queer Irish world of public figures, including Micheál Mac Liammóir, Hilton Edwards, Ronald Brown, and John Broderick. By examining twentieth-century Ireland through the lived experiences of ordinary same-sex-desiring Irish men who were relegated to obscurity by Irish society, Earls reveals the contradictions, possibilities, and magnitude of postcolonial Irish Catholic nationalism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

Averill Earls is an associate professor in history at St. Olaf's College and her research focuses on sexuality and modern Ireland. Her writing has appeared in the Journal of the History of Sexuality, Historical Reflections (in the top-visited issue of the journal to date), Perspectives Magazine, Nursing Clio, and Notches Blog. In 2021 she was awarded the Judith R. Walkowitz Article Prize for her 2020 article, "Solicitor Brown and His Boy." Prof. Earls is also one of the four feminist historians and award-winning podcasters who founded Dig: A History Podcast in 2017. Love in the Lav: A Social Biography of Same-Sex Desire in Ireland, 1922-1972 (Temple UP, 2025) tells the unexpected, sometimes heartbreaking, stories of Dublin's men who desired men and the Gardaí who policed them. The book uncovers Ireland's queer lives of the past. Averill Earls investigates how same-sex-desiring men lived and loved in a country where their sexuality was illegal and seen as unnatural. Across seven social biographical chapters, each highlighting individuals at the nexus of these histories, Earls constructs a narrative of experiences through the larger contexts in which they are embedded. She uses courtroom testimonies, police records, and family history archives as well as “educated speculation” to show how structures governing male same-sex desire in Ireland played out on the bodies of the men who desired men, the teen boys who sold sex to men, and the way the Catholic-nationalist ethos shaped the Gardaí who policed them. Love in the Lav examines the experiences of people such as cabbie James Hand, who was put on trial for gross indecency, to provide a window into the queer working-class subculture of 1930s Dublin. Earls also focuses on issues of consent, especially with teens, and the unregulated queer Irish world of public figures, including Micheál Mac Liammóir, Hilton Edwards, Ronald Brown, and John Broderick. By examining twentieth-century Ireland through the lived experiences of ordinary same-sex-desiring Irish men who were relegated to obscurity by Irish society, Earls reveals the contradictions, possibilities, and magnitude of postcolonial Irish Catholic nationalism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/history

Averill Earls is an associate professor in history at St. Olaf's College and her research focuses on sexuality and modern Ireland. Her writing has appeared in the Journal of the History of Sexuality, Historical Reflections (in the top-visited issue of the journal to date), Perspectives Magazine, Nursing Clio, and Notches Blog. In 2021 she was awarded the Judith R. Walkowitz Article Prize for her 2020 article, "Solicitor Brown and His Boy." Prof. Earls is also one of the four feminist historians and award-winning podcasters who founded Dig: A History Podcast in 2017. Love in the Lav: A Social Biography of Same-Sex Desire in Ireland, 1922-1972 (Temple UP, 2025) tells the unexpected, sometimes heartbreaking, stories of Dublin's men who desired men and the Gardaí who policed them. The book uncovers Ireland's queer lives of the past. Averill Earls investigates how same-sex-desiring men lived and loved in a country where their sexuality was illegal and seen as unnatural. Across seven social biographical chapters, each highlighting individuals at the nexus of these histories, Earls constructs a narrative of experiences through the larger contexts in which they are embedded. She uses courtroom testimonies, police records, and family history archives as well as “educated speculation” to show how structures governing male same-sex desire in Ireland played out on the bodies of the men who desired men, the teen boys who sold sex to men, and the way the Catholic-nationalist ethos shaped the Gardaí who policed them. Love in the Lav examines the experiences of people such as cabbie James Hand, who was put on trial for gross indecency, to provide a window into the queer working-class subculture of 1930s Dublin. Earls also focuses on issues of consent, especially with teens, and the unregulated queer Irish world of public figures, including Micheál Mac Liammóir, Hilton Edwards, Ronald Brown, and John Broderick. By examining twentieth-century Ireland through the lived experiences of ordinary same-sex-desiring Irish men who were relegated to obscurity by Irish society, Earls reveals the contradictions, possibilities, and magnitude of postcolonial Irish Catholic nationalism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/gender-studies

Averill Earls is an associate professor in history at St. Olaf's College and her research focuses on sexuality and modern Ireland. Her writing has appeared in the Journal of the History of Sexuality, Historical Reflections (in the top-visited issue of the journal to date), Perspectives Magazine, Nursing Clio, and Notches Blog. In 2021 she was awarded the Judith R. Walkowitz Article Prize for her 2020 article, "Solicitor Brown and His Boy." Prof. Earls is also one of the four feminist historians and award-winning podcasters who founded Dig: A History Podcast in 2017. Love in the Lav: A Social Biography of Same-Sex Desire in Ireland, 1922-1972 (Temple UP, 2025) tells the unexpected, sometimes heartbreaking, stories of Dublin's men who desired men and the Gardaí who policed them. The book uncovers Ireland's queer lives of the past. Averill Earls investigates how same-sex-desiring men lived and loved in a country where their sexuality was illegal and seen as unnatural. Across seven social biographical chapters, each highlighting individuals at the nexus of these histories, Earls constructs a narrative of experiences through the larger contexts in which they are embedded. She uses courtroom testimonies, police records, and family history archives as well as “educated speculation” to show how structures governing male same-sex desire in Ireland played out on the bodies of the men who desired men, the teen boys who sold sex to men, and the way the Catholic-nationalist ethos shaped the Gardaí who policed them. Love in the Lav examines the experiences of people such as cabbie James Hand, who was put on trial for gross indecency, to provide a window into the queer working-class subculture of 1930s Dublin. Earls also focuses on issues of consent, especially with teens, and the unregulated queer Irish world of public figures, including Micheál Mac Liammóir, Hilton Edwards, Ronald Brown, and John Broderick. By examining twentieth-century Ireland through the lived experiences of ordinary same-sex-desiring Irish men who were relegated to obscurity by Irish society, Earls reveals the contradictions, possibilities, and magnitude of postcolonial Irish Catholic nationalism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Averill Earls is an associate professor in history at St. Olaf's College and her research focuses on sexuality and modern Ireland. Her writing has appeared in the Journal of the History of Sexuality, Historical Reflections (in the top-visited issue of the journal to date), Perspectives Magazine, Nursing Clio, and Notches Blog. In 2021 she was awarded the Judith R. Walkowitz Article Prize for her 2020 article, "Solicitor Brown and His Boy." Prof. Earls is also one of the four feminist historians and award-winning podcasters who founded Dig: A History Podcast in 2017. Love in the Lav: A Social Biography of Same-Sex Desire in Ireland, 1922-1972 (Temple UP, 2025) tells the unexpected, sometimes heartbreaking, stories of Dublin's men who desired men and the Gardaí who policed them. The book uncovers Ireland's queer lives of the past. Averill Earls investigates how same-sex-desiring men lived and loved in a country where their sexuality was illegal and seen as unnatural. Across seven social biographical chapters, each highlighting individuals at the nexus of these histories, Earls constructs a narrative of experiences through the larger contexts in which they are embedded. She uses courtroom testimonies, police records, and family history archives as well as “educated speculation” to show how structures governing male same-sex desire in Ireland played out on the bodies of the men who desired men, the teen boys who sold sex to men, and the way the Catholic-nationalist ethos shaped the Gardaí who policed them. Love in the Lav examines the experiences of people such as cabbie James Hand, who was put on trial for gross indecency, to provide a window into the queer working-class subculture of 1930s Dublin. Earls also focuses on issues of consent, especially with teens, and the unregulated queer Irish world of public figures, including Micheál Mac Liammóir, Hilton Edwards, Ronald Brown, and John Broderick. By examining twentieth-century Ireland through the lived experiences of ordinary same-sex-desiring Irish men who were relegated to obscurity by Irish society, Earls reveals the contradictions, possibilities, and magnitude of postcolonial Irish Catholic nationalism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send us a textSheri raised in South Jersey by a single mom. Her father left the family when she was 3 and was in her life sporadically until she severed the relationship with him when she was 28. Her family has deep roots in a blue collar, Irish Catholic neighborhood in Southwest Philadelphia. Sheri's first introduction to trauma was through a relationship she had in her 20's. She met this man within a year of his return from the first Gulf War where he served on the ground in the Army during Desert Storm. At the time he was suffering from undiagnosed PTSD and was putting himself through art school in Philadelphia. This relationship continued for about 16 years. She was his unconditional support and he was her greatest cheerleader. The experience with him set her on the path to the work she does now. At the age of 27 Sheri enrolled in Rutgers University in Camden where she acquired a BA in Psychology with a minor in Philosophy. During her time at Rutgers she worked as a direct support professional at a Neuro Behavioral Stabilization unit with kids with Autism and other intellectual disabilities who wereexhibited severe crisis behavior. Within a year of graduating, the events of September 11 th occurred and as a result Sheri enrolled at Chestnut Hill College where she received a Master of Science in Counseling and Human Services with a concentration in Psychological Trauma. While completing graduate school Sheri did an internship at the sexual assault crisis center in Camden NJ and provided in home counseling to kids in crisis due to abuse, grief and sometimes a combination of both. She also worked for Children's Mobile Response team in Camden County. In 2009 Sheri started a job as a Behavior Specialist at a school which served students who could not be were not able to be educated in their home districts. The students displayed moderate to severe behavior problems as well as a variety of intellectual, learning and mental health disabilities. While she worked there she became certified as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and remained in the position for 14 years. Sheri worked individually with students and teachers and provided professional development related to compassionate behavior management and trauma informed care. After short tenures at 2 other public schools in the same role she is taking her career in a new direction and is entering into the realm of consulting.Find The Suffering PodcastThe Suffering Podcast InstagramKevin Donaldson InstagramTom Flynn InstagramApple PodcastSpotifyYouTubeThe Suffering Podcast FamilySherri AllsupSupport the showThe Suffering Podcast Instagram Kevin Donaldson Instagram TikTok YouTube

This week we are discussing the weather in Ireland. Specifically the evening of January 6th 1839, when 'Women's Christmas' was interrupted by one of the worst storms in Irish history.We discuss the loss of life, livestock and (tree) limbs, and explore how the lack of support following the disaster helped to further cement the view that being governed from London was not necessarily in the interests of the Irish-Catholic majority......and yes we do also mention the potato famine.Guest Host: Evie Heathcote Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Brothers McMullan Directed by Ed Burns Starring Ed Burnds, Mike McGlone and Rem Lazar When you're a good Irish Catholic, you choose one person to be with for the rest of your life. But how can you be sure you've found "the one"? Each of the three brothers McMullen turns up a different answer to that question in this warm-hearted romantic comedy about the reality of true love and familial bonds. "The Brothers McMullen" is not about flash or style; it's about the basic connections people pursue every day as they struggle with family, relationships and personal identity.

Send us a textWhat happens when the weight of trauma becomes too heavy to bear? In this raw and deeply moving episode, we sit down with Jim, a retired Assistant Fire Chief with 33 years of service, who takes us through his harrowing journey with alcoholism, PTSD, and ultimately, a suicide attempt that changed everything.Jim's story begins in a large Irish Catholic family where drinking was normalized from an early age. By 13, he was already developing a relationship with alcohol that would follow him through high school, college, and into his career as a firefighter. Rising through the ranks to Assistant Chief, Jim appeared successful on the outside while internally battling demons that grew stronger with each traumatic call.The conversation takes a powerful turn as Jim recounts responding to three SIDS deaths in a single day, spending hours with decapitation victims, and witnessing families burned alive in mistaken arson attacks. Without proper mental health support, he turned to alcohol to numb the pain, leading to failed marriages and increasingly self-destructive behavior.The most gripping moment comes when Jim describes his suicide attempt in vivid detail – from the crushing despair that led him to put an AR-15 under his chin, to the miraculous misfire that gave him a second chance, to his brother somehow finding him on a remote mountain road. You'll feel every emotion as he describes his journey through rehabilitation specifically designed for first responders, where he finally began addressing both his alcoholism and severe PTSD.Now 17 months sober, Jim shares how he's rebuilding relationships with his sons, enjoying his role as a grandfather, and finding peace in a simpler life. His story serves as both warning and inspiration for anyone struggling with addiction or mental health issues, especially first responders carrying the weight of traumatic experiences.If you or someone you know is battling addiction or having thoughts of suicide, this episode offers hope that recovery is possible, even from the darkest places. As Jim reminds us, sometimes our greatest purpose comes from sharing our hardest struggles with others who need to hear them.Thank You for Joining Us.. Please share with friends. If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcoholism please reach out to us. We can get you help. recoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com

Former President Mary McAleese has criticized Pope Leo's first 100 days in the papacy, saying it's been “too conservative”. She has questioned whether he is as committed to Pope Francis' reforms – but, is 100 days too early to judge?Joining Kieran to discuss is David Quinn, Columnist with the Sunday Independent and Irish Catholic and Gina Menzies, a Theologian.

Broadcaster, journalist and raconteur, Terry Christian chats to Dearbhail about his Irish Catholic upbringing which informs his new Edinburgh Festival Show, his experiences being working class in the media in the '80s and '90s, his time presenting taboo-busting T.V. show The Word and giving Oasis their big break.

Send us a textWhat happens when a broke, hungover Ohio kid accidentally throws a beer bottle in front of a cop car, watches 9/11 unfold on a CRT TV, and decides to radically change the trajectory of his life? You get Aaron Love. In this solo mic-drop of an origin story, Aaron walks us through his chaotic rise from “littering charge degenerate” to USAF Pararescueman. From failed college attempts and $0.50 beer nights to literal jail time and getting smoked in Florida with boats and logs, Aaron lays it all bare—failures, comebacks, and all. This isn't just a PJ pipeline story. It's a redemption arc wrapped in sarcasm, sweat, and service.Prepare to meet the man behind the mic—the oldest, grumpiest, most entertainingly reckless member of the Ones Ready crew. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you'll probably Google “Can you really get arrested for littering?”

Heidi Johnson was in a great spot in life. She had a great family, good job, all she could reasonably ask for. But when her mother was killed in a shocking accident, that all changed.  After suffering from intense grief, Heidi's life changed when she was asked to start a new initiative at her local children's hospital. This led her to create and lead her own nonprofit and to a life today of service and also shining a light on other nonprofit leaders, through both a book and hosting her podcast, Charity Matters.      Chapters: 00:30 Heidi Johnson's Journey Begins  Heidi Johnson shares her life story, detailing her upbringing in a large Irish Catholic family and the unexpected tragedy that altered her life's path, leading her to a deeper exploration of grief and purpose.  04:11 The Tragic Accident  Heidi recounts the harrowing details of her parents' vacation in Costa Rica, where a devastating accident claimed her mother's life and left her father in a coma, profoundly impacting her family and her outlook on life.  07:29 The Revelation of Grief  Heidi reflects on how her grief revealed her inner strength and fueled her desire to help others, transforming her pain into a powerful catalyst for change in her life.  10:34 A Call for Help  A pivotal moment arises when a priest at Children's Hospital Los Angeles, reaches out to Heidi for assistance in establishing a nonprofit to provide emotional support to families, marking the beginning of her new mission.  12:56 Establishing the Nonprofit  Heidi discusses the formation of the Spiritual Care Guild, detailing the challenges and triumphs of starting a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing chaplains for families in need at the hospital.  17:28 The Impact of Service  Through her work at the Children's Hospital, Heidi discovers the profound personal health benefits of service, illustrating how helping others can lead to healing and meaning in one's own life.  18:14 The Birth of Charity Matters  Heidi shares the inspiration behind her blog and podcast, Charity Matters, which highlights the stories of nonprofit founders and the impact of their work, showcasing the entrepreneurial spirit in the nonprofit sector.  23:24 Lessons from Nonprofit Founders  In this segment, Heidi reflects on the commonalities she has observed among nonprofit founders, emphasizing their resilience, optimism, and the transformative power of personal experiences that drive their missions.  27:38 Finding Growth in Loss  Heidi articulates her belief that loss can lead to personal growth, sharing insights on how adversity can pave the way for new beginnings and a deeper understanding of purpose.  31:47 The Journey from Corporate to Nonprofit  Heidi reflects on her transition from a successful corporate career to running a nonprofit, sharing the challenges and rewards of this significant life change.   35:41 Igniting Passion in Others  Heidi shares insights on the importance of building community as a nonprofit founder and the necessity of igniting passion in others to join the cause. She emphasizes the contagious nature of enthusiasm and how it helps in forming a supportive network.  38:08 Philanthropy in America  The conversation shifts to the philanthropic spirit of Americans, with Heidi noting that a significant percentage of the population volunteers. She discusses the importance of focusing on local communities and how small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect.  40:07 The Good in the World  Heidi and Bill conclude with a discussion about the prevalence of good deeds happening around the world, countering the negativity often portrayed in the media. They celebrate the resilience and positivity that nonprofit work embodies, encouraging listeners to contribute to their communities. 

In this Sunday's Beyond Belief, Fr Brendan Quinlivan talks to the former editor of the Irish Catholic, Michael Kelly who is the Director of Public Affairs for Aid to the Church in Need Ireland. Michael Kelly has just completed a biography of the new Holy Father and he shares the the work of Aid to the Church in Need especially in supporting the Holy Family Parish in Gaza and their Parish Priest Fr. Romanelli.

I didn't plan to write this. It started with a Thread, sparked by a conversation with someone who spoke as if identity was destiny, and belonging was determined by pain. They spoke in the voice of certainty—about who could speak, who couldn't, and who owed what to whom.But it stirred something old in me.I grew up in Salt Lake, Oahu. Subsidized garden apartments near the airport. I was six. A haole kid—Irish, English, German, Czechoslovakian, Hungarian—surrounded by friends who were Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Samoan, Filipino. In Hawaii, we were all poi dogs: mutts, proud of our mix. Nobody cared what you were—until intermediate school, when I was suddenly just “white.” One word flattened my whole ancestry.That flattening—that erasure of nuance—is what this is about.Let's be clear: America has never been an ethnostate. It's never required blood purity. It's flirted with white supremacy, yes. It's been built on contradictions, certainly. But it has always been chaotic, plural, experimental. Jews were among the first colonists. There were free Black people before slavery became systemic. Hawaiian royalty toured the White House. The myth of America as ethnically pure is just that—a myth.Compare that with actual ethnostates. Japan. Korea. Hungary. Nations where blood defines belonging. Where being born in-country doesn't mean you're accepted. Where assimilation isn't expected—because it isn't offered. These are places with coherent boundaries. That's what makes them safer, yes—but also more exclusionary.And yet somehow, America bears the guilt of falling short of an ideal no one else even tries to live up to.Whiteness in America has never been fixed. Irish weren't white. Italians weren't white. Jews weren't white. Whiteness was a moving caste line. A club. Not a color.Today, the same people who rightly insist on distinguishing between Vietnamese and Chinese, or Dominican and Puerto Rican, will lump everyone with pale skin into “white.” As if all of us grew up with the same privilege. As if someone like me—raised by a single mom, broke, mixed, uninvited—was born at the top of the pyramid.It's not justice. It's just reversal.Later in life, on Mastodon—a social platform of federated, ideological islands—I found myself in dialogue with an actual white supremacist. He told me I wasn't really white. Not with Irish Catholic blood from County Mayo. Not with Hungarian roots from Budapest. Not with my Slavic features. To him, true whiteness belonged to ethnic English and Germans. Everyone else was an Untermensch—a word I knew from my time in Berlin. A slur. A caste marker. Garbage people.I laughed it off. But I didn't forget.The deeper you look into the world, the more you see these hierarchies. In Singapore, ethnic Han Chinese dominate. In Finland, the elite are Swedish, not Finnish. Every culture has its own purity test.That's why America still matters. Even when it fails. Especially when it fails.Because here, a kid like me could eat kalbi from a Korean neighbor's hibachi at six years old and fall in love with kimchi before knowing how to spell it. Here, I could be a poi dog and still grow up to write, to speak, to belong. That doesn't happen in most of the world.We talk about justice, but we also need to talk about containment. UBI, grievance culture, and online rage cycles don't liberate people—they manage them. They keep people home, sedated, sequestered. Just enough bread to dull hunger. Just enough narrative to keep them angry but inactive.It's not revolution. It's sedation.Still—I believe in this country. Not because it's perfect. But because it's unfinished. Because it tries, even when it stumbles. Because it allows us to write ourselves in.So no, America isn't an ethnostate. And the fact that we even argue about how to be more inclusive proves it.It's messy. But it's ours.And I'll defend that—with aloha.

At the peak of the Irish missionary movement, in the 1960s, over 6,000 Irish Catholic missionaries were dispersed over 80 countries. Today, there are only about 450 Irish missionaries still scattered around the world and by the end of this decade, that number is likely to fall below 200.A new two part series on RTE called The Last Irish Missionaries with former RTE Presenter Bryan Dobson and Dearbhail MacDonald explore the history of Ireland's missions. Bryan and Fr Shay Cullen, founder the PREDA Foundation joined Pat on the show.

What role did Irish Catholics play within the U.S. left? Were Irish radicals more interested in freedom from British rule or in anticapitalism? And what effect did religious beliefs have on Irish Americans' inclinations to break with the mainstream? David Emmons highlights Irish Americans' contributions to dissidence, progressivism, and radicalism in the United States. David Emmons, History's Erratics: Irish Catholic Dissidents and the Transformation of American Capitalism, 1870-1930 University of Illinois Press, 2024 The post Irish American Dissidents appeared first on KPFA.

We look at the new book by Simon Horton. See more about The End of Conflict: How AI Will End War and Help Us Get On Better here. The End of Conflict:, How AI Will End War and Help Us Get On Better, reviewed We enjoyed reading this book. Initially we felt the title was counter intuitive, and it seems like the author also had thoughts, and doubts about this premise. Without giving away a plot spoiler it does that, by the end of the book, the author is not completely convinced himself either whether we can be completely confident about AI either. However, before we get to this slightly disconcerting ending the author does take us on a thoughtful, and provoking discussion of some potential positive benefits that could come from AI. Horton discusses how AI could help with conflict resolution, including for couples. While you can imagine the initial skepticism he does a good job of explaining how and why it might work, and could, quite quickly become adopted and used subsequently. As with all things, if you can get to trying it once, and this has positive results, people are quite likely to then return again and again, with even better outcomes. Horton is aware that things could all go pear shaped too when it comes to AI and the future of humanity too. While he explores and explains in a convincing way the paths that could lead to better outcomes, he also accepts that this is not a sure thing, and that we do live in risky times. This is probably a fair way to treat the options in front of us. A well written book, worth reading and following Horton's exploration of these challenging times. See more about the book here The end of conflict? Sounds impossible, like the lion lying down with the lamb. But what if it were achievable? World-renowned Negotiation expert Simon Horton has spent 25 years working with the British Army, hostage negotiators and some of the biggest companies in the world. He has also spent 20 years studying artificial intelligence and he reveals how the rapidly growing field of Peace Tech really could end war, heal our polarised societies, and improve our closest relationships. Humans know how to resolve conflict in theory but, in practice, our egos and emotions get in the way. AI has no such limitations. With its ability to manage vast datasets and develop creative solutions to seemingly intractable problems, AI could transform how we handle disagreements at every level. There's a catch, of course. Can we trust the AI? Can we trust the tech companies? Including interviews with Professor Steven Pinker, Bruce Schneier and many similar experts in their field, "The End of Conflict" builds a plausible roadmap to the optimistic future of the title and shows what we must do to ensure everyone benefits fairly from these powerful new technologies. More about the author Simon Horton is the founder of Negotiation Mastery, a centre of excellence in the world of negotiation. His mother was Irish Catholic and his father English Protestant. He grew up in the 1970s and every time there was a bomb in Northern Ireland, the civil war was fought at his dining table. Even at the age of 10, he knew there was a better way. He has been teaching negotiation and conflict resolution for 20 years, across 25 different countries. Clients have included Goldman Sachs, HM British Army, the Saudi Space Agency and many similar world class organisations. He has taught at Oxford University and Imperial College and has appeared on national television in multiple countries and is regularly interviewed on the topic in national press and magazines. Prior to teaching negotiation, he led a successful career as a consultant to the financial services sector, designing derivatives trading systems and similar platforms. He was first involved with AI in 1988 and his interest grew with Moore's Law. By 2005, and the publication of Ray Kurzweil's "The Singularity Is Near", he had become obsessed. He has performed as a stand-up comedian and a trapeze artist and h...

Ron Unz joins José Niño for a deep dive into the forgotten history behind America's anti-Communist crusade. Far from being a mindless witch hunt, Unz argues that McCarthyism was a chaotic but justified reaction to earlier left-wing purges—many led by Jewish activists and institutions—during the Roosevelt era.Unz explains how McCarthy's rise was driven by ethnic resentment, particularly among Irish-Catholics, and how Jewish involvement in both Communism and anti-Communism has shaped the historical narrative we've inherited. Unz challenges sanitized accounts of the Red Scare and exposes the power dynamics that still define elite discourse today.Follow Ron Unz' work here:Article: https://www.unz.com/runz/american-pravda-mccarthyism-part-iii-the-jewish-angle/ Website: https://www.unz.com/X/Twitter: https://x.com/UnzReview Are you concerned about your wealth during this times of economic uncertainty? Allocating parts of your wealth into physical precious metals is your best play. Whether you are:* An institutional client,* A HNWI or UHNWI,* Or a retail customer,You should contact my good friend Claudio Grass directly.Claudio is a veteran precious metal investor and wealth manager who has mastered precious markets and knows how to protect people's wealth no matter the economic and political circumstances. He will grant you access to his carefully-selected network of trustworthy partners which he has been working for multiple years. Claudio will advise you on the best players, the appropriate terms, and the necessary safeguards you must take to protect your wealth. In addition, he will guide you each step of the way when you buy, sell, and store physical bullion. Your precious metals will be privately stored in Switzerland outside of the banking system, and you can physically pick them up at the vault anytime at your own convenience. Are you ready to make your wealth recession-proof? Do not hesitate to contact Claudio; his initial consultations are free.Contact him below and tell him that José Niño was your reference: https://claudiograss.ch/contacts/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit josbcf.substack.com/subscribe

John Fitzgerald was very close with General George Washington during the Revolutionary War in Valley Forge and Princeton.  Fitzgerald was an Irish-Catholic, who earned the trust of the most important man in the colonies and started the first Catholic parish in Virginia.  With the 250th anniversary of the United States coming up next year, it is the perfect time to take a look at some Irish people who played a role in the creation of the country.

In this live episode of Hurt to Healing, Julia Samuel is joined by acclaimed author and advocate Kit de Waal for a powerful conversation about friendship, fear, and the patterns we inherit from childhood. With her signature blend of candour and compassion, Kit opens up about the painful unravelling of a close friendship and how it stirred echoes of her early life — growing up with a strict Jamaican Jehovah's Witness father and a fiery Irish Catholic mother. She reflects on the emotional survival tactics that shaped her, the fierce loyalty of her siblings, and the way fear and secrecy became part of her emotional DNA. Together, Julia and Kit explore the complexities of trust, identity, and repair — what it means to rewrite the stories we were raised with, and how we begin to parent and connect differently. From Kit's teenage rebellion and escape from a rigid religious upbringing to her work in social care and advocacy for marginalised voices, this is a conversation about resilience, rupture, and growth.  Find Kit: Website: https://www.kitdewaal.com/ Instagram: @kitdewaal Please subscribe and leave a review—it truly makes all the difference! Follow Julia at @juliasamuelmbe for more insights, tips, and conversations on life's challenges and how to improve your mental well-being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

6/3/25 - C.J. Doyle, Executive Director of the Catholic Action League of Massachusetts, shares his lifelong commitment to defending the Catholic Faith amid growing secular hostility. Raised in a devout Irish Catholic family, Doyle recounts how his early formation inspired a life of activism, from challenging anti-Catholic bias in politics and media to advocating for the sanctity of life, religious liberty, and traditional moral values. Drawing on decades of public engagement and cultural commentary, Doyle offers an unapologetic witness to Catholic truth in the face of cultural decline and moral compromise. Learn more about the Catholic Action League of Massachusetts at https://www.catholicactionleague.org/

Sean Hershey is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in New York who specializes in using mind-body work to help his clients end their chronic pain and, in his words, "truly learn to be themselves." He's the host of a new podcast called The Mind-Body Medicine for Chronic Pain, and in that podcast he works to, piece by piece, share the principles and practices of mindbody healing.I love Sean's honest and humble approach (he's a Midwesterner, just like me, who grew up in an Irish Catholic community in St. Paul, Minnesota) and think you will too. In this conversation Sean and I talk about the paradox of mindbody healing -- as we embrace our true selves and our body pain goes down, our feelings of separation from others can increase. This of course does not mean we shouldn't do it -- it's just that this angle is not covered as frequently as the success stories are.Sean and I also share parts of our journey and talk hip pain and what we've learned about it. We talk about what being a therapist pre-mindbody vs post-mindbody looks like for him. And of course we discuss our shared understanding of the TMS (tension myoneural syndrome) personality.Website: https://www.mindbodymedicineforchronicpain.com/Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2w673beYfZXmfpznyvaYQgInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/my_gay_therapist/

Pope Leo XIV (Robert Francis Prevost) was chosen a month ago as the new leader of the Catholic Church. Brendan is joined by former editor of the Irish Catholic and director of public affairs for Aid to the Church in Need, Michael Kelly. His book details the life and beliefs of the new Pope and what direction he could bring the Church in.

On The Newspaper Panel this week,is joined by; Alison O'Connor, Columnist with the Sunday Times, Dr Graham Finlay, Assistant Professor of Politics and International Relations in UCD, Aideen Heydon, Housing Policy Expert and author, and former chairperson of Threshold & David Quinn, Columnist with the Sunday Independent and The Irish Catholic.

A year ago, the great American historian Adam Hochschild came on KEEN ON AMERICA to discuss American Midnight, his best selling account of the crisis of American democracy after World War One. A year later, is history really repeating itself in today's crisis of American democracy? For Hochschild, there are certainly parallels between the current political situation in the US and post WW1 America. Describing how wartime hysteria and fear of communism led to unprecedented government repression, including mass imprisonment for political speech, vigilante violence, and press censorship. Hochschild notes eery similarities to today's Trump's administration. He expresses concern about today's threats to democratic institutions while suggesting the importance of understanding Trump supporters' grievances and finding ways to bridge political divides. Five Key Takeaways* The period of 1917-1921 in America saw extreme government repression, including imprisoning people for speech, vigilante violence, and widespread censorship—what Hochschild calls America's "Trumpiest" era before Trump.* American history shows recurring patterns of nativism, anti-immigrant sentiment, and scapegoating that politicians exploit during times of economic or social stress.* The current political climate shows concerning parallels to this earlier period, including intimidation of opposition, attacks on institutions, and the widespread acceptance of authoritarian tendencies.* Hochschild emphasizes the importance of understanding the grievances and suffering that lead people to support authoritarian figures rather than dismissing their concerns.* Despite current divisions, Hochschild believes reconciliation is possible and necessary, pointing to historical examples like President Harding pardoning Eugene Debs after Wilson imprisoned him. Full Transcript Andrew Keen: Hello, everybody. We recently celebrated our 2500th edition of Keen On. Some people suggest I'm mad. I think I probably am to do so many shows. Just over a little more than a year ago, we celebrated our 2000th show featuring one of America's most distinguished historians, Adam Hochschild. I'm thrilled that Adam is joining us again a year later. He's the author of "American Midnight, The Great War, A Violent Peace, and Democracy's Forgotten Crisis." This was his last book. He's the author of many other books. He is now working on a book on the Great Depression. He's joining us from his home in Berkeley, California. Adam, to borrow a famous phrase or remix a famous phrase, a year is a long time in American history.Adam Hochschild: That's true, Andrew. I think this past year, or actually this past 100 days or so has been a very long and very difficult time in American history that we all saw coming to some degree, but I don't think we realized it would be as extreme and as rapid as it has been.Andrew Keen: Your book, Adam, "American Midnight, A Great War of Violent Peace and Democracy's Forgotten Crisis," is perhaps the most prescient warning. When you researched that you were saying before we went live that your books usually take you between four and five years, so you couldn't really have planned for this, although I guess you began writing and researching American Midnight during the Trump 1.0 regime. Did you write it as a warning to something like is happening today in America?Adam Hochschild: Well, I did start writing it and did most of the work on it during Trump's first term in office. So I was very struck by the parallels. And they're in plain sight for everybody to see. There are various dark currents that run through this country of ours. Nativism, threats to deport troublemakers. Politicians stirring up violent feelings against immigrants, vigilante violence, all those things have been with us for a long time. I've always been fascinated by that period, 1917 to 21, when they surged to the surface in a very nasty way. That was the subject of the book. Naturally, I hoped we wouldn't have to go through anything like that again, but here we are definitely going through it again.Andrew Keen: You wrote a lovely piece earlier this month for the Washington Post. "America was at its Trumpiest a hundred years ago. Here's how to prevent the worst." What did you mean by Trumpiest, Adam? I'm not sure if you came up with that title, but I know you like the term. You begin the essay. What was the Trumpiest period in American life before Donald Trump?Adam Hochschild: Well, I didn't invent the word, but I certainly did use it in the piece. What I meant by that is that when you look at this period just over 100 years ago, 1917 to 1921, Woodrow Wilson's second term in office, two things happened in 1917 that kicked off a kind of hysteria in this country. One was that Wilson asked the American Congress to declare war on Germany, which it promptly did, and when a country enters a major war, especially a world war, it sets off a kind of hysteria. And then that was redoubled some months later when the country received news of the Russian Revolution, and many people in the establishment in America were afraid the Russian Revolution might come to the United States.So, a number of things happened. One was that there was a total hysteria against all things German. There were bonfires of German books all around the country. People would take German books out of libraries, schools, college and university libraries and burn them in the street. 19 such bonfires in Ohio alone. You can see pictures of it on the internet. There was hysteria about the German language. I heard about this from my father as I was growing up because his father was a Jewish immigrant from Germany. They lived in New York City. They spoke German around the family dinner table, but they were terrified of doing so on the street because you could get beaten up for that. Several states passed laws against speaking German in public or speaking German on the telephone. Eminent professors declared that German was a barbaric language. So there was that kind of hysteria.Then as soon as the United States declared war, Wilson pushed the Espionage Act through Congress, this draconian law, which essentially gave the government the right to lock up anybody who said something that was taken to be against the war. And they used this law in a devastating way. During those four years, roughly a thousand Americans spent a year or more in jail and a much larger number, shorter periods in jail solely for things that they wrote or said. These were people who were political prisoners sent to jail simply for something they wrote or said, the most famous of them was Eugene Debs, many times the socialist candidate for president. He'd gotten 6% of the popular vote in 1912 and in 1918. For giving an anti-war speech from a park bandstand in Ohio, he was sent to prison for 10 years. And he was still in prison two years after the war ended in November, 1920, when he pulled more than 900,000 votes for president from his jail cell in the federal penitentiary in Atlanta.So that was one phase of the repression, political prisoners. Another was vigilante violence. The government itself, the Department of Justice, chartered a vigilante group, something called the American Protective League, which went around roughing up people that it thought were evading the draft, beating up people at anti-war rallies, arresting people with citizens arrest whom they didn't have their proper draft papers on them, holding them for hours or sometimes for days until they could produce the right paperwork.Andrew Keen: I remember, Adam, you have a very graphic description of some of this violence in American Midnight. There was a story, was it a union leader?Adam Hochschild: Well, there is so much violence that happened during that time. I begin the book with a graphic description of vigilantes raiding an office of the Wobblies, the Industrial Workers of the World, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, taking a bunch of wobblies out into the prairie at night, stripping them, whipping them, flogging them fiercely, and then tarring and feathering them, and firing shotguns over their heads so they would run off into the Prairie at Night. And they did. Those guys were lucky because they survive. Other people were killed by this vigilante violence.And the final thing about that period which I would mention is the press censorship. The Espionage Act gave the Postmaster General the power to declare any publication in the United States unmailable. And for a newspaper or a magazine that was trying to reach a national audience, the only way you could do so was through the US mail because there was no internet then. No radio, no TV, no other way of getting your publication to somebody. And this put some 75 newspapers and magazines that the government didn't like out of business. It in addition censored three or four hundred specific issues of other publications as well.So that's why I feel this is all a very dark period of American life. Ironically, that press censorship operation, because it was run by the postmaster general, who by the way loved being chief censor, it was ran out of the building that was then the post office headquarters in Washington, which a hundred years later became the Trump International Hotel. And for $4,000 a night, you could stay in the Postmaster General's suite.Andrew Keen: You, Adam, the First World War is a subject you're very familiar with. In addition to American Midnight, you wrote "To End All Wars, a story of loyalty and rebellion, 1914 to 18," which was another very successful of your historical recreations. Many countries around the world experience this turbulence, the violence. Of course, we had fascism in the 20s in Europe. And later in the 30s as well. America has a long history of violence. You talk about the violence after the First World War or after the declaration. But I was just in Montgomery, Alabama, went to the lynching museum there, which is considerably troubling. I'm sure you've been there. You're not necessarily a comparative political scientist, Adam. How does America, in its paranoia during the war and its clampdown on press freedom, on its violence, on its attempt to create an authoritarian political system, how does it compare to other democracies? Is some of this stuff uniquely American or is it a similar development around the world?Adam Hochschild: You see similar pressures almost any time that a major country is involved in a major war. Wars are never good for civil liberties. The First World War, to stick with that period of comparison, was a time that saw strong anti-war movements in all of the warring countries, in Germany and Britain and Russia. There were people who understood at the time that this war was going to remake the world for the worse in every way, which indeed it did, and who refused to fight. There were 800 conscientious objectors jailed in Russia, and Russia did not have much freedom of expression to begin with. In Germany, many distinguished people on the left, like Rosa Luxemburg, were sent to jail for most of the war.Britain was an interesting case because I think they had a much longer established tradition of free speech than did the countries on the continent. It goes way back and it's a distinguished and wonderful tradition. They were also worried for the first two and a half, three years of the war before the United States entered, that if they crack down too hard on their anti-war movement, it would upset people in the United States, which they were desperate to draw into the war on their side. Nonetheless, there were 6,000 conscientious objectors who were sent to jail in England. There was intermittent censorship of anti-war publications, although some were able to publish some of the time. There were many distinguished Britons, such as Bertrand Russell, the philosopher who later won a Nobel Prize, sent to jails for six months for his opposition to the war. So some of this happened all over.But I think in the United States, especially with these vigilante groups, it took a more violent form because remember the country at that time was only a few decades away from these frontier wars with the Indians. And the westward expansion of the United States during the 19th century, the western expansion of white settlement was an enormously bloody business that was almost genocidal for the Native Americans. Many people had participated in that. Many people saw that violence as integral to what the country was. So there was a pretty well-established tradition of settling differences violently.Andrew Keen: I'm sure you're familiar with Stephen Hahn's book, "A Liberal America." He teaches at NYU, a book which in some ways is very similar to yours, but covers all of American history. Hahn was recently on the Ezra Klein show, talking like you, like we're talking today, Adam, about the very American roots of Trumpism. Hahn, it's an interesting book, traces much of this back to Jackson and the wars of the frontier against Indians. Do you share his thesis on that front? Are there strong similarities between Jackson, Wilson, and perhaps even Trump?Adam Hochschild: Well, I regret to say I'm not familiar with Hahn's book, but I certainly do feel that that legacy of constant war for most of the 19th century against the Native Americans ran very deep in this country. And we must never forget how appealing it is to young men to take part in war. Unfortunately, all through history, there have been people very tempted by this. And I think when you have wars of conquest, such as happen in the American West, against people who are more poorly armed, or colonial wars such as Europe fought in Africa and Asia against much more poorly-armed opponents, these are especially appealing to young people. And in both the United States and in the European colonization of Africa, which I know something about. For young men joining in these colonizing or conquering adventures, there was a chance not just to get martial glory, but to also get rich in the process.Andrew Keen: You're all too familiar with colonial history, Adam. Another of your books was about King Leopold's Congo and the brutality there. Where was the most coherent opposition morally and politically to what was happening? My sense in Trump's America is perhaps the most persuasive and moral critique comes from the old Republican Center from people like David Brooks, Peter Wayno has been on the show many times, Jonathan Rausch. Where were people like Teddy Roosevelt in this narrative? Were there critics from the right as well as from the left?Adam Hochschild: Good question. I first of all would give a shout out to those Republican centrists who've spoken out against Trump, the McCain Republicans. There are some good people there - Romney, of course as well. They've been very forceful. There wasn't really an equivalent to that, a direct equivalent to that in the Wilson era. Teddy Roosevelt whom you mentioned was a far more ferocious drum beater than Wilson himself and was pushing Wilson to declare war long before Wilson did. Roosevelt really believed that war was good for the soul. He desperately tried to get Wilson to appoint him to lead a volunteer force, came up with an elaborate plan for this would be a volunteer army staffed by descendants of both Union and Confederate generals and by French officers as well and homage to the Marquis de Lafayette. Wilson refused to allow Roosevelt to do this, and plus Roosevelt was, I think, 58 years old at the time. But all four of Roosevelt's sons enlisted and joined in the war, and one of them was killed. And his father was absolutely devastated by this.So there was not really that equivalent to the McCain Republicans who are resisting Trump, so to speak. In fact, what resistance there was in the U.S. came mostly from the left, and it was mostly ruthlessly silenced, all these people who went to jail. It was silenced also because this is another important part of what happened, which is different from today. When the federal government passed the Espionage Act that gave it these draconian powers, state governments, many of them passed copycat laws. In fact, a federal justice department agent actually helped draft the law in New Hampshire. Montana locked up people serving more than 60 years cumulatively of hard labor for opposing the war. California had 70 people in prison. Even my hometown of Berkeley, California passed a copycat law. So, this martial spirit really spread throughout the country at that time.Andrew Keen: So you've mentioned that Debs was the great critic and was imprisoned and got a considerable number of votes in the election. You're writing a book now about the Great Depression and FDR's involvement in it. FDR, of course, was a distant cousin of Teddy Roosevelt. At this point, he was an aspiring Democratic politician. Where was the critique within the mainstream Democratic party? Were people like FDR, who had a position in the Wilson administration, wasn't he naval secretary?Adam Hochschild: He was assistant secretary of the Navy. And he went to Europe during the war. For an aspiring politician, it's always very important to say I've been at the front. And so he went to Europe and certainly made no sign of resistance. And then in 1920, he was the democratic candidate for vice president. That ticket lost of course.Andrew Keen: And just to remind ourselves, this was before he became disabled through polio, is that correct?Adam Hochschild: That's right. That happened in the early 20s and it completely changed his life and I think quite deepened him as a person. He was a very ambitious social climbing young politician before then but I think he became something deeper. Also the political parties at the time were divided each party between right and left wings or war mongering and pacifist wings. And when the Congress voted on the war, there were six senators who voted against going to war and 50 members of the House of Representatives. And those senators and representatives came from both parties. We think of the Republican Party as being more conservative, but it had some staunch liberals in it. The most outspoken voice against the war in the Senate was Robert LaFollette of Wisconsin, who was a Republican.Andrew Keen: I know you write about La Follette in American Midnight, but couldn't one, Adam, couldn't won before the war and against domestic repression. You wrote an interesting piece recently for the New York Review of Books about the Scopes trial. William Jennings Bryan, of course, was involved in that. He was the defeated Democratic candidate, what in about three or four presidential elections in the past. In the early 20th century. What was Bryan's position on this? He had been against the war, is that correct? But I'm guessing he would have been quite critical of some of the domestic repression.Adam Hochschild: You know, I should know the answer to that, Andrew, but I don't. He certainly was against going to war. He had started out in Wilson's first term as Wilson's secretary of state and then resigned in protest against the military buildup and what he saw as a drift to war, and I give him great credit for that. I don't recall his speaking out against the repression after it began, once the US entered the war, but I could be wrong on that. It was not something that I researched. There were just so few voices speaking out. I think I would remember if he had been one of them.Andrew Keen: Adam, again, I'm thinking out loud here, so please correct me if this is a dumb question. What would it be fair to say that one of the things that distinguished the United States from the European powers during the First World War in this period it remained an incredibly insular provincial place barely involved in international politics with a population many of them were migrants themselves would come from Europe but nonetheless cut off from the world. And much of that accounted for the anti-immigrant, anti-foreign hysteria. That exists in many countries, but perhaps it was a little bit more pronounced in the America of the early 20th century, and perhaps in some ways in the early 21st century.Adam Hochschild: Well, we remain a pretty insular place in many ways. A few years ago, I remember seeing the statistic in the New York Times, I have not checked to see whether it's still the case, but I suspect it is that half the members of the United States Congress do not have passports. And we are more cut off from the world than people living in most of the countries of Europe, for example. And I think that does account for some of the tremendous feeling against immigrants and refugees. Although, of course, this is something that is common, not just in Europe, but in many countries all over the world. And I fear it's going to get all the stronger as climate change generates more and more refugees from the center of the earth going to places farther north or farther south where they can get away from parts of the world that have become almost unlivable because of climate change.Andrew Keen: I wonder Democratic Congress people perhaps aren't leaving the country because they fear they won't be let back in. What were the concrete consequences of all this? You write in your book about a young lawyer, J. Edgar Hoover, of course, who made his name in this period. He was very much involved in the Palmer Raids. He worked, I think his first job was for Palmer. How do you see this structurally? Of course, many historians, biographers of Hoover have seen this as the beginning of some sort of American security state. Is that over-reading it, exaggerating what happened in this period?Adam Hochschild: Well, security state may be too dignified a word for the hysteria that reigned in the country at that time. One of the things we've long had in the United States is a hysteria, paranoia directed at immigrants who are coming from what seems to be a new and threatening part of the world. In the mid-19th century, for example, we had the Know-Nothing Party, as it was called, who were violently opposed to Catholic immigrants coming from Ireland. Now, they were people of Anglo-Saxon descent, pretty much, who felt that these Irish Catholics were a tremendous threat to the America that they knew. There was much violence. There were people killed in riots against Catholic immigrants. There were Catholic merchants who had their stores burned and so on.Then it began to shift. The Irish sort of became acceptable, but by the end of the 19th century, beginning of the 20th century the immigrants coming from Europe were now coming primarily from southern and eastern Europe. In other words, Italians, Sicilians, Poles, and Jews. And they became the target of the anti-immigrant crusaders with much hysteria directed against them. It was further inflamed at that time by the Eugenics movement, which was something very strong, where people believed that there was a Nordic race that was somehow superior to everybody else, that the Mediterraneans were inferior people, and that the Africans were so far down the scale, barely worth talking about. And this culminated in 1924 with the passage of the Johnson-Reed Immigration Act that year, which basically slammed the door completely on immigrants coming from Asia and slowed to an absolute trickle those coming from Europe for the next 40 years or so.Andrew Keen: It wasn't until the mid-60s that immigration changed, which is often overlooked. Some people, even on the left, suggest that it was a mistake to radically reform the Immigration Act because we would have inevitably found ourselves back in this situation. What do you think about that, Adam?Adam Hochschild: Well, I think a country has the right to regulate to some degree its immigration, but there always will be immigration in this world. I mean, my ancestors all came from other countries. The Jewish side of my family, I'm half Jewish, were lucky to get out of Europe in plenty of time. Some relatives who stayed there were not lucky and perished in the Holocaust. So who am I to say that somebody fleeing a repressive regime in El Salvador or somewhere else doesn't have the right to come here? I think we should be pretty tolerant, especially if people fleeing countries where they really risk death for one reason or another. But there is always gonna be this strong anti-immigrant feeling because unscrupulous politicians like Donald Trump, and he has many predecessors in this country, can point to immigrants and blame them for the economic misfortunes that many Americans are experiencing for reasons that don't have anything to do with immigration.Andrew Keen: Fast forward Adam to today. You were involved in an interesting conversation on the Nation about the role of universities in the resistance. What do you make of this first hundred days, I was going to say hundred years that would be a Freudian error, a hundred days of the Trump regime, the role, of big law, big universities, newspapers, media outlets? In this emerging opposition, are you chilled or encouraged?Adam Hochschild: Well, I hope it's a hundred days and not a hundred years. I am moderately encouraged. I was certainly deeply disappointed at the outset to see all of those tech titans go to Washington, kiss the ring, contribute to Trump's inauguration festivities, be there in the front row. Very depressing spectacle, which kind of reminds one of how all the big German industrialists fell into line so quickly behind Hitler. And I'm particularly depressed to see the changes in the media, both the Los Angeles Times and the Washington Post becoming much more tame when it came to endorsing.Andrew Keen: One of the reasons for that, Adam, of course, is that you're a long-time professor at the journalism school at UC Berkeley, so you've been on the front lines.Adam Hochschild: So I really care about a lively press that has free expression. And we also have a huge part of the media like Fox News and One American Network and other outlets that are just pouring forth a constant fire hose of lies and falsehood.Andrew Keen: And you're being kind of calling it a fire hose. I think we could come up with other terms for it. Anyway, a sewage pipe, but that's another issue.Adam Hochschild: But I'm encouraged when I see media organizations that take a stand. There are places like the New York Times, like CNN, like MSNBC, like the major TV networks, which you can read or watch and really find an honest picture of what's going on. And I think that's a tremendously important thing for a country to have. And that you look at the countries that Donald Trump admires, like Putin's Russia, for example, they don't have this. So I value that. I want to keep it. I think that's tremendously important.I was sorry, of course, that so many of those big law firms immediately cave to these ridiculous and unprecedented demands that he made, contributing pro bono work to his causes in return for not getting banned from government buildings. Nothing like that has happened in American history before, and the people in those firms that made those decisions should really be ashamed of themselves. I was glad to see Harvard University, which happens to be my alma mater, be defiant after caving in a little bit on a couple of issues. They finally put their foot down and said no. And I must say, feeling Harvard patriotism is a very rare emotion for me. But this is the first time in 50 years that I've felt some of it.Andrew Keen: You may even give a donation, Adam.Adam Hochschild: And I hope other universities are going to follow its lead, and it looks like they will. But this is pretty unprecedented, a president coming after universities with this determined of ferocity. And he's going after nonprofit organizations as well. There will be many fights there as well, I'm sure we're just waiting to hear about the next wave of attacks which will be on places like the Ford Foundation and the Carnegie Corporation and other big nonprofits. So hold on and wait for that and I hope they are as defiant as possible too.Andrew Keen: It's a little bit jarring to hear a wise historian like yourself use the word unprecedented. Is there much else of this given that we're talking historically and the similarities with the period after the first world war, is there anything else unprecedented about Trumpism?Adam Hochschild: I think in a way, we have often had, or not often, but certainly sometimes had presidents in this country who wanted to assume almost dictatorial powers. Richard Nixon certainly is the most recent case before Trump. And he was eventually stopped and forced to leave office. Had that not happened, I think he would have very happily turned himself into a dictator. So we know that there are temptations that come with the desire for absolute power everywhere. But Trump has gotten farther along on this process and has shown less willingness to do things like abide by court orders. The way that he puts pressure on Republican members of Congress.To me, one of the most startling, disappointing, remarkable, and shocking things about these first hundred days is how very few Republican members to the House or Senate have dared to defy Trump on anything. At most, these ridiculous set of appointees that he muscled through the Senate. At most, they got three Republican votes against them. They couldn't muster the fourth necessary vote. And in the House, only one or two Republicans have voted against Trump on anything. And of course, he has threatened to have Elon Musk fund primaries against any member of Congress who does defy him. And I can't help but think that these folks must also be afraid of physical violence because Trump has let all the January 6th people out of jail and the way vigilantes like that operate is they first go after the traitors on their own side then they come for the rest of us just as in the first real burst of violence in Hitler's Germany was the night of the long knives against another faction of the Nazi Party. Then they started coming for the Jews.Andrew Keen: Finally, Adam, your wife, Arlie, is another very distinguished writer.Adam Hochschild: I've got a better picture of her than that one though.Andrew Keen: Well, I got some very nice photos. This one is perhaps a little, well she's thinking Adam. Everyone knows Arlie from her hugely successful work, "Strangers in their Own Land." She has a new book out, "Stolen Pride, Lost Shame and the Rise of the Right." I don't want to put words into Arlie's mouth and she certainly wouldn't let me do that, Adam, but would it be fair to say that her reading, certainly of recent American history, is trying to bring people back together. She talks about the lessons she learned from her therapist brother. And in some ways, I see her as a kind of marriage counselor in America. Given what's happening today in America with Trump, is this still an opportunity? This thing is going to end and it will end in some ways rather badly and perhaps bloodily one way or the other. But is this still a way to bring people, to bring Americans back together? Can America be reunited? What can we learn from American Midnight? I mean, one of the more encouraging stories I remember, and please correct me if I'm wrong. Wasn't it Coolidge or Harding who invited Debs when he left prison to the White House? So American history might be in some ways violent, but it's also made up of chapters of forgiveness.Adam Hochschild: That's true. I mean, that Debs-Harding example is a wonderful one. Here is Debs sent to prison by Woodrow Wilson for a 10-year term. And Debs, by the way, had been in jail before for his leadership of a railway strike when he was a railway workers union organizer. Labor organizing was a very dangerous profession in those days. But Debs was a fairly gentle man, deeply committed to nonviolence. About a year into, a little less than a year into his term, Warren Harding, Woodrow Wilson's successor, pardoned Debs, let him out of prison, invited him to visit the White House on his way home. And they had a half hour's chat. And when he left the building, Debs told reporters, "I've run for the White house five times, but this is the first time I've actually gotten here." Harding privately told a friend. This was revealed only after his death, that he said, "Debs was right about that war. We never should have gotten involved in it."So yeah, there can be reconciliation. There can be talk across these great differences that we have, and I think there are a number of organizations that are working on that specific project, getting people—Andrew Keen: We've done many of those shows. I'm sure you're familiar with the organization Braver Angels, which seems to be a very good group.Adam Hochschild: So I think it can be done. I really think it could be done and it has to be done and it's important for those of us who are deeply worried about Trump, as you and I are, to understand the grievances and the losses and the suffering that has made Trump's backers feel that here is somebody who can get them out of the pickle that they're in. We have to understand that, and the Democratic Party has to come up with promising alternatives for them, which it really has not done. It didn't really offer one in this last election. And the party itself is in complete disarray right now, I fear.Andrew Keen: I think perhaps Arlie should run for president. She would certainly do a better job than Kamala Harris in explaining it. And of course they're both from Berkeley. Finally, Adam, you're very familiar with the history of Africa, Southern Africa, your family I think was originally from there. Might we need after all this, when hopefully the smoke clears, might we need a Mandela style truth and reconciliation committee to make sense of what's happening?Adam Hochschild: My family's actually not from there, but they were in business there.Andrew Keen: Right, they were in the mining business, weren't they?Adam Hochschild: That's right. Truth and Reconciliation Committee. Well, I don't think it would be on quite the same model as South Africa's. But I certainly think we need to find some way of talking across the differences that we have. Coming from the left side of that divide I just feel all too often when I'm talking to people who feel as I do about the world that there is a kind of contempt or disinterest in Trump's backers. These are people that I want to understand, that we need to understand. We need to understand them in order to hear what their real grievances are and to develop alternative policies that are going to give them a real alternative to vote for. Unless we can do that, we're going to have Trump and his like for a long time, I fear.Andrew Keen: Wise words, Adam. I hope in the next 500 episodes of this show, things will improve. We'll get you back on the show, keep doing your important work, and I'm very excited to learn more about your new project, which we'll come to in the next few months or certainly years. Thank you so much.Adam Hochschild: OK, thank you, Andrew. Good being with you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keenon.substack.com/subscribe

Reflecting on the fogginess, then clarity, this meditation goes into forgiveness – forgiveness of self and others! Enjoy!   Resources: Forgiveness Journal by Erica Glessing (a blank sketch journal with forgiveness prompts): https://amzn.to/4ibGls0   Transcript (more or less)... Hello, I'm loving some interesting clearings that I'm embarking upon myself this week. It's very fascinating and powerful.   As I was reflecting, it was really foggy this morning where I live. There was this kind of eerie fogginess right at dawn, when the light comes in, all drenched in fog. It's interesting to me when fog obscures vision, when we're blocked from seeing things because of the dense fog. Yet there's an awareness that the sun is going to break through. Well, I'm in California, so the sun always breaks through. And the fog will lift, and we'll be able to see clearly.   I was just kind of looking at that way of how life brings us sort of fogginess and then clarity, then fogginess and then clarity. One of my favorite things to do in the morning is, after I'm done with my gratitudes (because I always do my gratitudes), I say, "Could you send me an epiphany today?" and I kind of just send it out into the universe, to God or All That Is. And I say, "Come with an epiphany today."   My epiphany this morning was—I don't think "brutal" is the appropriate word, but it approaches deeply challenging, shall I say. It was all around forgiveness - so here is a guided forgiveness meditation as a gift to you (and to myself!).   You're joining me here on Energy Clearing for Life. This is Erica. I built this show as a self-meditation. So we're going to walk through forgiveness today. As I was clearing things and releasing regrets from my past choices, it was really interesting to me to take responsibility for choices that ended up maybe in very clashing, painful experiences—or being married to an icky person. Well, me and Narcissus, let's just call it what it was.   Let's look at the ways in which we can heal and we can forgive. It's funny, I did a whole class on forgiveness in 2012. It was so powerful. I went through how to forgive easily first to build your forgiveness strength. Then I created a forgiveness journal, which is available on Amazon. In it, I put little prompts—it's like a sketchbook journal—and I put little prompts to help facilitate forgiveness. On the cover of my forgiveness journal, I put an infinity symbol, which I felt was very beautiful. I did it in a dark blue, starry night color. I really had fun building that forgiveness journal. I believe sometimes these podcasts and my writing are partly my own higher self educating me and then educating all of you. Maybe "educating" is the wrong word—sort of gently working collaboratively with your energy to help you be the best and brightest you that you can be. This month—or you may listen to this out of sync—but this month is really showing us in 2025 that it's time to express ourselves and shine our brightest light. That's really coming through strongly in all the messages I'm seeing from all the star seeds and sort of higher consciousness individuals I know on the planet. Pretty much I'm hearing collectively: it's time to shine our light brightly.   I'm going to go into a meditation with you on forgiveness. Just give yourself the next seven or eight minutes. See if you can find somewhere quiet or private where you can close your eyes. See if you can just breathe.   At the core of forgiveness, there's a release of any kind of victim consciousness. So we want to just own our choices and say, "I made choices. I forgive myself for choices I made that caused such challenges in my life." Wow, that was pretty big.   "I forgive myself for surrounding myself with people who couldn't see my light." Yeah, I feel better after that.   Now let's breathe energy up through the earth, through the balls of our feet. Nice, through our knees. Just breathe blue energy up, up through the base of your spine.   Now your second chakra—that's money, creativity, and sexuality. Let's just go ahead and breathe orange energy through there, or light orange tangerine.   Now let's go ahead and breathe special warm healing light to our solar plexus chakra area. Then go ahead and breathe green light through our heart chakra.   Just forgive yourself again in the heart area for any choices that led to painful experiences. Often our parents were choices that led to some painful experiences that we at some level chose so we could grow. Just forgive yourself for choosing various individuals. I had a nefarious individual in my life who was my editor in Santa Barbara where I used to live. That was really interesting. I was still working on forgiveness, and I found out he passed away. It was so fascinating to me that I had somehow carried forth his criticisms of me and let them embed and hurt my heart. And he was long gone from the planet, right? I gave him a big forgiveness for that a while back, to heal my own heart. For anyone who's kind of stuck it to you or been particularly unkind to you, go ahead and just send forgiveness to that experience.   Nice. Now let's go up into our throat chakra and just release any of the times that people didn't want you to talk. So many cultures have this feminine thing where women were not supposed to say anything. Children were not supposed to say anything. "Be seen and not heard." Is that crazy?   Go ahead—this is crossing so many cultures, and I've met with so many different people from Chinese descent, Indian descent, Mexican descent, all different backgrounds, Irish Catholic descent—children (especially girls) who were not supposed to be heard. Forgive anyone around you who told you to shut up or who just didn't want to hear you, right? Just release that. Nice. And by forgiving those who have dimmed your light and forgiving them, what happens is you heal so your heart and your throat chakra open up, and you can accept more love again and be receiving of money and receiving of joy and receiving of delight or this zest for life. So nice. Now we want to go up into our third eye, and this is where we receive telepathic communications, should we desire that. It's the place between our eyebrows, and it usually operates in violet. Let's just go ahead and run energy through there. If you have to go somewhere where there are a lot of lower consciousness experiences—like maybe LAX, maybe standing in line at the Dollar Tree, or maybe standing in line at the grocery store—and you can't really control all the different beings that are there, you could be standing next to a mom who's just lashing out at her children. It could just wreck your whole day, maybe if you were an empath and just kind of went into all what they were suffering about and what they were having such a hard time with.   Now go ahead and look at the top of your crown and up. This is generally a white layer. Some people choose it to be gold, though. So white or gold—whatever works for you—and connect to celestial.   If you believe in this view, ask for forgiveness from Source for everything you've chosen that has kind of led you astray. We all go astray and then we get back on. Then we go astray and then we get back on. It's human. It's how we are—being our humanness is going astray and then coming back on course.   Very nice. So go ahead and just accept love from the heavens all around you. Now just go ahead and ask for the 7-15th Merkaba genetic chakras. These go above your head and below your feet and to the sides. Go ahead and just ask for healing for all of that from heaven, and then also pull blue earth energy up too.   About a foot around your body, or 18 inches, just see your aura healing from the places where you couldn't forgive. Forgive yourself for times that you couldn't get neutral, you just had to be triggered.   This might represent very old karmic ties. If it's super challenging to get to forgiveness, there could be multiple lifetimes of stuff that you've chosen to go through with that individual. Or there could be a lesson inside of that trigger.   What you can do is say, "Thank you for the teachings. I love the teachings, and I'd like to release the trigger." So I'd like not to get emotionally charged, but I would like to still really get clear what the learnings are. Forgiveness can happen sometimes when you let go of needing to even understand why. It's like you  say, "Yes, I understand I'm learning from this. Thank you for the learnings. And I'm ready to release my trigger."   Now forgive yourself for those moments of being triggered, which some of them are etched. My kids and I have learned to say, "I'm being triggered. Let's be quiet for a minute and let go of the trigger and then talk in a few minutes," instead of sort of screaming at each other, you know. Nice. I'm being shown to ask for one more thing in this sort of meditation. Put something that you've been desiring in front of your body, about a foot away. So it's not in your body. This could be your coaching business or your books that you've written, or maybe it's plans to go on a vacation, or something you've been desiring to have but don't have yet.   It's something like an unfulfilled desire.  If you're comfortable with it, put it about 18 inches in front of you and kind of see it in a ball. See that thing that you've been asking for in a ball. Just send energy to that ball.   For me, it's going to be Happy Publishing LLC —my book publishing company would like to grow. So I'm going to put that in a ball about a foot in front of me and just send energy to it. For you, what is it? Maybe it's a new place to live, or maybe it's career insight, or maybe you'd like to start your own meditation podcast. Put whatever that desire is in front of you and just kind of allow it to be. Then see if it has any messages for you.   Nice. Very good. Now just kind of come back to center, open your eyes. Have a most amazing day and maybe ask for another opportunity—some new insight into your own soul's desires for you on the planet.   And what's happening in 2025 is the shine, right? That's the 2025 message. So don't be afraid. Thank you. #meditation, #forgiveness, #spirituality, #chakras, #energyhealing, #selfcare, #mindfulness, #wellness, #abundance, #manifestation, #selflove, #healing, #gratitude, #consciousness, #awareness, #positivevibes, #spiritualjourney, #higherconsciousness, #personaldevelopment, #innergrowth Here is the forgiveness book that I spoke of: https://amzn.to/4ibGls0

Megyn Kelly is joined by legal experts Arthur Aidala and Mark Eiglarsh for Kelly's Court to discuss Harvey Weinstein's upcoming trial, the challenge of seating an impartial jury, Aidala's ideas for his defense of Weinstein including possibly calling his client to the stand, the fatal stabbing of a Texas high school football player by another student, the potential self-defense claim, what will likely happen in the trial, Bryan Kohberger's defense strategy, his lawyer floating that an expert will say it was actually two assailants, the latest on Blake Lively's lawsuit against director Justin Baldoni, her claims of being pressured into nudity during childbirth scene, what the actor playing the doctor is revealing now, and more. Then Tim Dillon, whose new Netflix special is "I'm Your Mother," to discuss his very short child acting career, his journey from drug use to sobriety, being raised by Irish Catholics, why Meghan Markle is one of America's greatest con artists, her launch of overpriced everyday products, her tone-deaf new podcast about female founders, Gavin Newsom's failed podcast, his opportunistic political strategy lacking actual beliefs, how Tim became friends with RFK Jr. and Cheryl Hines, his support for Trump's stance on bringing actual help to the working and middle class, how the political parties have completely switched sides in the last 20 years, the rise of superficial identity politics, and more. Aidala- https://am970theanswer.com/radioshow/the-arthur-aidala-power-hourEiglarsh- https://www.eiglarshlaw.com/Dillon- https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Angel Studios: Become an Angel Guild member today and get 2 free tickets to The King of Kings movie when you become a premium member. Visit https://angel.com/MEGYNLumen: Visit https://lumen.me/MEGYN for 15% OffJacked Up Fitness: Go to https://GetJackedUp.com and use code MK at checkout to save 10% off your entire purchaseFollow The Megyn Kelly Show on all social platforms:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/MegynKellyTwitter: http://Twitter.com/MegynKellyShowInstagram: http://Instagram.com/MegynKellyShowFacebook: http://Facebook.com/MegynKellyShow Find out more information at: https://www.devilmaycaremedia.com/megynkellyshow

Catholic nuns and priests led Boston's anti-war movement during the Vietnam era. A new podcast tells the story of the lengths many Irish Catholics went through to protest the war — including breaking into official buildings to steal draft cards. The Common spoke to Host and Producer Brendan Patrick Hughes about his new podcast  "Divine Intervention." Greater Boston's weekly podcast where news and culture meet.

Dimitri and Khalid dive into the heart of the Molly Maguire story in 1870s Schuylkill County, Pennsylvania, including: the simultaneous rise of the first successful labor union for miners (Irish-Catholic John Siney's Workingmen's Benevolent Association) and the charismatic Irish-American (Protestant) industrialist wunderkind Franklin B. Gowen, Gowen's sinister HOTGAF plans for the Reading Railroad (crushing the independent owner-operators, bribing the State Senate, price-gouging everyone, implying the WBA is controlled by a murderous global Irish-Catholic cabal), the brutal Long Strike of 1875, bloody clashes between Irish workers and Nativist "vigilance committee" death squads, the two-year infiltration of Irish Pinkerton detective James McParlan into the innermost circles of the Molly Maguires, and more. For access to premium SJ episodes, upcoming installments of DEMON FORCES, and the Grotto of Truth Discord, become a subscriber at patreon.com/subliminaljihad.

What were The Troubles and why did they lead to 30 years of violence and division in Northern Ireland? How were Irish Catholics inspired by the American Civil Rights movement in 1969? Why did the British government deploy troops on the streets of Belfast? In the first of four episodes, Anita and William are joined by Patrick Radden Keefe, author of Say Nothing, to discuss the beginning of The Troubles, and to introduce three key characters: Ian Paisley, Gerry Adams, and Dolours Price.  _____________ Empire UK Live Tour: The podcast is going on a UK tour! William and Anita will be live on stage in Glasgow, Birmingham, York and Bristol, discussing how the British Empire continues to shape our everyday lives. Tickets are on sale NOW, to buy yours head to empirepoduk.com. Empire Club: Become a member of the Empire Club to receive early access to miniseries, ad-free listening, early access to live show tickets, bonus episodes, book discounts, and a weekly newsletter! Head to empirepoduk.com to sign up. Email: empire@goalhanger.com Instagram: @empirepoduk  Blue Sky: @empirepoduk  X: @empirepoduk goalhanger.com Assistant Producer: Becki Hills Producer: Anouska Lewis Senior Producer: Callum Hill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

AMDG.   “When I get to heaven, I'll ask him.”   “What if he's not in heaven?”   “Then you can ask him.”   First introduced to Fulton Sheen through her research on his famous converts, historian Cheryl Hughes tells the fascinating story of Fulton Sheen's life. Dr. Hughes brings history to life with hilarious anecdotes and touching narratives. Listen in to hear facts such as the surprising connection between Fulton Sheen and Frank Sinatra; his Emmy acceptance speech, including the writers he credited for his success; Sheen's opposition to secularism and communism; his friendship with Pope Saint John Paul II, who learned English through listening to Fulton Sheen; the miracle attributed to Fulton Sheen, and the current status of his beatification process; and details such as Sheen's real height, Irish Catholic upbringing, and more.   Links mentioned & relevant:  Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, Convert Maker by Dr. Cheryl Hughes  Steven refers to when Archbishop Sheen helped launch Thomas Aquinas College  Chautauqua character studies   Have questions or suggestions for future episodes or a story of your own experience that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear from you! Send your thoughts to podcast@kolbe.org and be a part of the Kolbecast odyssey.   We'd be grateful for your feedback! Please share your thoughts with us via this Kolbecast survey!  The Kolbecast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and most podcast apps. By leaving a rating and review in your podcast app of choice, you can help the Kolbecast reach more listeners. The Kolbecast is also on Kolbe's YouTube channel (audio only with subtitles).  Using the filters on our website, you can sort through the episodes to find just what you're looking for. However you listen, spread the word about the Kolbecast! 

Send us a textTune into the first interview Kerry Brett gives on Cosmic Scene with Jill Jardine to discuss the launch of her new book Shot At Love, A Celebrity Photographer's Lens on Dating and Finding Love. The latest best-selling release is a raw, hilarious, and deeply insightful story of the host of Shot At Love; Kerry Brett's journey from heartbreak to happiness will have you laughing, nodding in recognition, and rethinking your approach to finding love.When Kerry Brett found herself at what she calls "the basement of rock bottom" after a painful breakup, she turned to an unexpected source of hope: Tinder. But unlike many who approach dating apps with dread, this award-winning Boston photographer embraced the platform as a creative opportunity. With the same keen eye she used to capture celebrities like David Ortiz and Amy Poehler, Kerry developed a method for identifying potential matches, creating authentic connections, and ultimately finding love.Kerry's story is compelling because of her unique blend of self-deprecating humor, spirituality, and practical wisdom. Each chapter of her newly released book "Shot At Love" begins with a Sanskrit mantra, connecting ancient wisdom to modern dating challenges. From the "German Leo" to the "Irish Leprechaun" and finally to her successful Tinder match, Kerry's dating adventures read like a Boston version of Sex and the City – minus the sex, as she quips, because "she's Irish Catholic, 51, and her parents listen to her show."The most powerful takeaway from our conversation is Kerry's insight that the stories we tell ourselves often become our biggest obstacles. Whether it's believing you're "damaged goods" because of past relationships or thinking no one wants to date a single parent, these internal narratives limit possibilities. As Kerry emphasizes, "Beauty is an inside job" – how you feel about yourself ultimately determines how others perceive and treat you.Kerry's journey offers hope and a roadmap for anyone navigating the complex world of modern dating. Her transformation from celebrated photographer to award-winning podcast host and author demonstrates how following your authentic path can lead to unexpected opportunities and, yes, even love.Take your best shot at love by checking out Kerry's new book "Shot At Love" on Amazon or at shotatloveook.com, and tune into her podcast for daily doses of dating wisdom and inspiration. Or join the single movement at www.shotatlovebook.com

The Restoration reinstates the monarchy in England, Scotland & Ireland, and Irish Catholics believe that they will get their lands back for their loyalty to the king. And when the openly Catholic King James II succeeds his older brother, they are even more hopeful. But English Protestants fear that his reign will lead to a Catholic dynasty, and invite the Dutch William of Orange to take the throne. James II flees to France and gathers troops to back his cause. He arrives on the coast of Ireland in 1689 to reclaim his crown. When news of this reaches Parliament, William of Orange heads to Ireland to meet his enemy on the battlefield. In the Boyne Valley near Dublin, the two kings clash in a battle that continues to be memorialised in Ireland today. But was it that militarily important? And how did the Battle of the Boyne play into the chessboard of European geopolitics? Listen as Anita and William are joined once again by Professor Jane Ohlmeyer to discuss how the Battle of the Boyne shaped Protestant identity in Ireland.  _____________ Empire UK Live Tour: The Booze & Brews live show is going on a UK tour! William and Anita will be discussing the extraordinary history of ordinary drinks such as tea, Indian Pale Ale and gin & tonic, highlighting how interconnected our drinks cabinets are with the British Empire. Tickets are on sale NOW, to buy your tickets head to aegp.uk/EmpireLive2025. Empire Club: Become a member of the Empire Club to receive early access to miniseries, ad-free listening, early access to live show tickets, bonus episodes, book discounts, and a weekly newsletter! Head to empirepoduk.com to sign up or start a free trial on Apple Podcasts. Email: empire@goalhanger.com Instagram: @empirepoduk  Blue Sky: @empirepoduk  X: @empirepoduk goalhanger.com Assistant Producer: Becki Hills Producer: Anouska Lewis Senior Producer: Callum Hill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

His statue may stand proudly outside the Houses of Parliament in London, but in Ireland, Oliver Cromwell is remembered as “the Devil from over the Sea” for the bloodshed he unleashed there from 1649 to 1653.  Rising to prominence as a Parliamentarian during the English Civil Wars, Oliver Cromwell sought revenge against the Catholics who had killed Protestant colonists in Ireland during the rebellion of 1641.  Soon after overseeing the execution of King Charles I, Cromwell feared that Ireland would be used as a backdoor to England by Royalists, and he took violent measures to stop that from happening. The sieges at Drogheda and Wexford saw some of the worst massacres to occur in Irish history. What happened to ordinary people during the misery of the 1650s? And what legacy did the Cromwellian Conquest leave in Ireland? Listen as Anita and William are joined once again by Professor Jane Ohlmeyer, author of Making Empire: Ireland, Imperialism and the Early Modern World, to discuss how Irish Catholics were displaced and dispossessed as a result of the Cromwellian Conquest.   _____________ Empire UK Live Tour: The Booze & Brews live show is going on a UK tour! William and Anita will be discussing the extraordinary history of ordinary drinks such as tea, Indian Pale Ale and gin & tonic, highlighting how interconnected our drinks cabinets are with the British Empire. Tickets are on sale NOW, to buy your tickets head to aegp.uk/EmpireLive2025. Empire Club: Become a member of the Empire Club to receive early access to miniseries, ad-free listening, early access to live show tickets, bonus episodes, book discounts, and a weekly newsletter! Head to empirepoduk.com to sign up or start a free trial on Apple Podcasts. Email: empire@goalhanger.com Instagram: @empirepoduk  Blue Sky: @empirepoduk  X: @empirepoduk goalhanger.com Assistant Producer: Becki Hills Producer: Anouska Lewis Senior Producer: Callum Hill Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Legendary New Testament scholar John Dominic Crossan joined me in answering a bunch of different questions from the Homebrewed Community, and it was some serious nerdy fun! The conversation covers Dom's Irish Catholic heritage, his views on the historical Jesus, the impact of Roman imperialism on Jesus' ministry, the concept of collaborative eschatology, and a response to mythicist arguments regarding the historicity of Jesus. Additionally, Crossan provides insights into creating a historically accurate Jesus film, the role of archaeological discoveries in understanding the New Testament, and his reflections on the Jesus seminar. The episode wraps up with exciting future plans, including Crossan's participation in Theology Beer Camp, where he will explore the intersection of Paul's vision of the cosmos and modern scientific understanding. Don't miss this enlightening session filled with rich historical context and profound theological reflections. You can WATCH this conversation on YouTube John Dominic Crossan, professor emeritus at DePaul University, is widely regarded as the foremost historical Jesus scholar of our time. He is the author of several bestselling books, including The Historical Jesus, How to Read the Bible and Still Be a Christian, God and Empire, Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography, The Greatest Prayer, The Last Week, and The Power of Parable. He lives in Minneola, Florida. Previous Podcast Episodes with Dom & Tripp Diana Butler Bass & John Dominic Crossan: The Resurrection of Jesus Brian McLaren & John Dominic Crossan: The Message of Jesus & the Judgement of Civilization Brian Zahnd & John Dominic Crossan: God, Violence, Empire, & Salvation Why the Biblical Paul is Awesome Christian Resurrection & Human Evolution The Cross & the Crisis of Civilization The Coming Kingdom & the Risen Christ The Parables of Jesus & the Parable of God How to think about Jesus like a Historian the Last Week of Jesus' Life Jesus, Paul, & Bible Questions Saving the Biblical Christmas Stories the most important discovery for understanding Jesus The Bible, Violence, & Our Future Resurrecting Easter on the First Christmas   From Jesus' Parables to Parables of God  Render Unto Caesar on God & Empire A Five-Week Online Lenten Class w/ John Dominic Crossan Join us for a transformative 5-week Lenten journey on "Paul the Pharisee: Faith and Politics in a Divided World."This course examines the Apostle Paul as a Pharisee deeply engaged with the turbulent political and religious landscape of his time. Through the lens of his letters and historical context, we will explore Paul's understanding of Jesus' Life-Vision, his interpretation of the Execution-and-Resurrection, and their implications for nonviolence and faithful resistance against empire. Each week, we will delve into a specific aspect of Paul's theology and legacy, reflecting on its relevance for our own age of autocracy and political turmoil. . For details and to sign-up for any donation, including 0, head over here. _____________________ Hang with 40+ Scholars & Podcasts and 600 people at Theology Beer Camp 2025 (Oct. 16-18) in St. Paul, MN. This podcast is a Homebrewed Christianity production. Follow the Homebrewed Christianity, Theology Nerd Throwdown, & The Rise of Bonhoeffer podcasts for more theological goodness for your earbuds. Join over 80,000 other people by joining our Substack - Process This! Get instant access to over 45 classes at www.TheologyClass.com Follow the podcast, drop a review, send feedback/questions or become a member of the HBC Community. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Over the past three decades, the Catholic Church has been engulfed by numerous sexual abuse scandals and accusations of power abuse. This has prompted many to question how it initially gained such influence in Ireland. In this podcast, I delve into the history of the Catholic Church within modern Irish society. While its influence is often linked to the post-Irish Independence era of the 1920s, the foundations of Catholic power extend much further back. This episode charts the Church's dramatic rise since the 1780s, when it emerged from the Penal Laws and decades of repression. I reveal how it skillfully navigated through rebellions, the Great Hunger, and the struggle for independence, growing stronger with each crisis. Additionally, I explore the complex relationship between the Church and the British Empire, where bitter enmity in the 1700s transformed into a strategic partnership—a marriage of convenience that reshaped Irish history.Support the show at Patreon.com/irishpodcast Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/irishhistory. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On a frigid day in 1843, Amasa Sprague, a wealthy Yankee mill owner, left his mansion to check on his cattle. On the way, he was accosted and beaten beyond recognition, and his body was left facedown in the snow. What followed was a trial marked by judicial bias, witness perjury and societal bigotry that resulted in the conviction of twenty-nine-year-old Irish-Catholic John Gordon. He was sentenced to hang. Despite overwhelming evidence that the trial was flawed and newly discovered evidence that clearly exonerated him, an anti-Irish Catholic establishment refused him a new trial. On February 14, 1845, John Gordon became the last victim of capital punishment in Rhode Island. My guest is Paul F. Caranci, author of "The Hanging and Redemption of John Gordon: The True Story of Rhode Island's Last Execution." He walks us through the murder, investigation, trial and execution, and also shares some of the theories regarding who might have killed Amasa Sprague and why. More about the author and his books: https://www.paulcaranci.com/ The podcast "Terror In Wichita" can be heard here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4oNsjI7FzlZ2z9k6aK1IGs?si=mY-xavJISBK2egMHTlsT2Q iHeart: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-terror-in-wichita-248480833/ Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/90ce0921-037e-4e6a-ad62-25f08a4b9b33/terror-in-wichita Support the show and ditch overpriced wireless with Mint Mobile's deal and get 3 months of premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month! https://www.mintmobile.com/notorious Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 1975, two young boys in Tuam were exploring the grounds of one of Ireland's abandoned Mother and Baby Homes when they lifted up a loose concrete slab and found several tiny human skulls hidden underneath. Over three decades later, this discovery would lead to the uncovering of another massive and shocking Catholic scandal, centered around some of the worst crimes committed against young women and their babies in modern world history.  True Tales of Hallow's Eve 4. Hope to see you there! Here's the ticket link: https://www.moment.co/scaredtodeathMerch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious PrivateFacebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: store@badmagicproductions.com (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.