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Read the full transcript here. What are the main causes of problems in romantic relationships? What are the behaviors and patterns that lead to healthy relationships? What is the price of a good relationship? Are dark triad traits (i.e., psychopathy / sociopathy, Narcissism, and Machiavellianism) treatable? What is outcome resistance? What is process resistance? How can a person overcome their own resistance to healthy change? When are labels useful? Do thoughts lead to emotions? Or do emotions lead to thoughts? Or do they both lead to each other? How should psychological trauma be treated? What are the limits of cognitive therapy?David Burns is Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where he is involved in research and teaching. He has previously served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian / University of Pennsylvania Medical Center (1988) and Visiting Scholar at the Harvard Medical School (1998), and is certified by the National Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. He has received numerous awards, including the A. E. Bennett Award for his research on brain chemistry, the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology through the Media Award, and the Outstanding Contributions Award from the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He has been named Teacher of the Year three times from the class of graduating residents at Stanford University School of Medicine, and feels especially proud of this award. In addition to his academic research, Dr. Burns has written a number of popular books on mood and relationship problems. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, has sold over 4 million copies in the United States, and many more worldwide. When he is not crunching statistics for his research, he can be found teaching his famous Tuesday evening psychotherapy training group for Stanford students and community clinicians, or giving workshops for mental health professionals throughout the United States and Canada. Learn more about him at feelinggood.com, follow his channel on YouTube, or check out the Feeling Great app.Further readingEpisode 192: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and beyond (with David Burns) StaffSpencer Greenberg — Host / DirectorJosh Castle — ProducerRyan Kessler — Audio EngineerUri Bram — FactotumWeAmplify — TranscriptionistsMusicBroke for FreeJosh WoodwardLee RosevereQuiet Music for Tiny Robotswowamusiczapsplat.comAffiliatesClearer ThinkingGuidedTrackMind EasePositlyUpLift[Read more]
Ever feel like no matter what you do, it's never enough? Like you breeze past your successes and fixate on what went wrong? You're not alone, and today, we're tackling that sneaky little cognitive distortion: discounting the positive. In this episode, we break down why so many physicians downplay their wins and how this mindset fuels burnout. More importantly, we'll give you practical, science-backed strategies to flip the script and start celebrating your victories—big and small! ✨ What You'll Learn Today: ✅ Why your brain is wired to focus on the negative (and how to retrain it!) ✅ The power of affirmative reflection—why asking “What went well today?” is a game-changer ✅ How writing down wins shifts your mindset and builds resilience ✅ The magic of peer support—why celebrating together makes all the difference ✅ How shifting from “I failed” to “I learned” can transform the way you see challenges We even bring in a Super Bowl-worthy mindset shift (thanks, Jalen Hurts!) to show how elite performers use self-reflection to come back stronger.
In this episode, our host interviews Dr. David Burns about his methods for overcoming negative thoughts and promoting joy using CBT techniques. Dr. Burns discusses various techniques and introduces his new digital tool, the Feeling Great app, which tracks personal feelings to facilitate quick and effective therapy, using advanced methods to help users change their thought patterns and emotions. Additionally, Dr. Burns emphasizes the importance of measurements in therapy for accountability and optimization, while promoting the availability of scientifically backed, drug-free treatment options for depression and anxiety, revealing his commitment to revolutionizing mental health care through his app and other resources. Listen now! “If you look at the DSM, the diagnostic and Statistical manual, hundreds of so-called mental disorders that are described. So whatever emotion you have, it can be turned into a mental disorder. So if you're shy and most of us get anxious in public speaking or around other people, well, you don't. You're not shy. You have a mental disorder called social anxiety disorder. And that really, excuse the language, pisses me off when they do that, because you've taken a very common problem and turned it into a mental disease, and then people think they need some pill for that. And to me, that's meaningless and it's, it's wrong.” ~Dr. David Burns, Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page. Our guest, Dr. David Burns, graduated magna cum laude from Amherst College, received his M.D. from Stanford University School of Medicine, and completed his psychiatry residency at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. He has served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian / University of Pennsylvania Medical Center (1988) and Visiting Scholar at the Harvard Medical School (1998), and is certified by the National Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. Dr. Burns is currently Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where he is involved in research and teaching. He has received numerous awards, including the A. E. Bennett Award for his research on brain chemistry, the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology through the Media Award, and the Outstanding Contributions Award from the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He has been named Teacher of the Year three times from the class of graduating residents at Stanford University School of Medicine, and feels especially proud of this award. In addition to his academic research, Dr. Burns has written a number of popular books on mood and relationship problems. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, has sold over 4 million copies in the United States, and many more worldwide. Feeling Good is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada. Surveys indicate that American mental health professionals rate Feeling Good as the #1 book on depression, out of a list of 1,000 self-help books. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This was the most meaningful podcast that I've recorded to date, as I was joined by the legend Dr. David Burns. David is a psychiatrist and author known for his contributions to cognitive behavioral therapy. His book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" explores the philosophical underpinnings of how our thoughts influence our emotions and behaviors. As a professor emeritus at Stanford University, Burns continues to examine the intersection of psychology and philosophy, particularly in how individuals can rationally approach and overcome psychological challenges. His books have transformed millions of lives, while his "Feeling Good Podcast" reaches countless listeners worldwide.In this episode, we discuss the underpinnings of TEAM-CBT, how David is incorporating this model into an app (Feeling Great), and we role play a therapy session.Enjoy.David's website:https://feelinggood.com/The Feeling Great app:https://www.feelinggreat.com/Feeling Good podcast:https://pod.link/1171155453David's other books!https://feelinggood.com/books/Follow me:https://www.instagram.com/josh_philwl/
Leaders Lead Podcast is a dynamic platform I created to explore the multifaceted world of leadership and entrepreneurship. Through each episode, I delve into the journeys of industry leaders, uncovering the challenges they've faced and the strategies they've used to achieve success. My goal is to offer listeners a blend of inspiration and practical guidance, empowering them in both their personal and professional development. Episode Highlight: In the episode titled "Anxiety – A Leader's Hidden Struggle," I share a deeply personal account of my own experiences with anxiety, particularly how it has affected my leadership and public speaking. I open up about the physical and emotional challenges I've encountered—like a racing heart, sweating, and the overwhelming fear of public speaking—and how these symptoms impacted my professional life. I emphasize the importance of recognizing and addressing anxiety, not only for personal well-being but for becoming a more effective leader. Throughout this episode, I offer valuable insights and strategies for managing anxiety, including: Understanding Anxiety: Recognizing anxiety as a natural response to stress, and knowing when it becomes excessive or starts to interfere with your life.Seeking Support: The importance of reaching out to trusted people or professionals to share your struggles.Utilizing Resources: Recommendations for helpful books and websites, such as The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne and Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns.Professional Help: I also encourage anyone in need to reach out for immediate support, like contacting the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) at 1-800-950-NAMI. By sharing my story, I aim to bring awareness to the hidden struggles that many leaders face. My hope is to encourage you to confront these challenges head-on and to seek the support you need. Remember, addressing personal obstacles is a vital step toward becoming a more compassionate and effective leader. For more episodes and resources, visit the official Leaders Lead Podcast website at www.leadersleadthepodcast.com.
Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns M.D. reminds us that anxiety and depression are the most common mental illnesses in the world. For many, the path to recovery seems daunting, endless, or completely out of reach. The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other "black holes" of depression can be alleviated. "Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns M.D. - Book PReview Book of the Week - BOTW - Season 7 Book 19 Buy the book on Amazon https://amzn.to/3ykMGQB GET IT. READ :) #cognitivetherapy #feelinggood #awareness FIND OUT which HUMAN NEED is driving all of your behavior http://6-human-needs.sfwalker.com/ Human Needs Psychology + Emotional Intelligence + Universal Laws of Nature = MASTER OF LIFE AWARENESS https://www.sfwalker.com/master-life-awareness --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sfwalker/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sfwalker/support
E339– Inner Voice – A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan. In this episode, Dr. Foojan Zeine chats with Dr. David D. Burns, an American psychiatrist and adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He is the author of bestselling books such as Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, The Feeling Good Handbook, and Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety. Dr. Burns developed an approach to psychotherapy called T.E.A.M. Therapy. T.E.A.M. is an acronym denoting Testing, Empathy, Assessment of Resistance (formerly Agenda Setting), and Methods. TEAM claims to address some of the shortcomings in cognitive therapy and proposes that motivation influences our thoughts, feelings, and actions just as much as our thoughts (or cognitions). Burns states that he draws from at least 15 schools of therapy and hopes that the TEAM approach will be as revolutionary a breakthrough in psychotherapy as C.B.T. was decades ago. www.feelinggood.com, and for the app, go to www.feelinggreat.com. Dr. Burns shared his experience with empathy in joining psychological resistances or conditions for treatment purposes. Check out my website: www.FoojanZeine.com, www.AwarenessIntegration.com, www.Foojan.com
What was therapy like in the years leading up to the advent of CBT? Has CBT now been over-sold? How does CBT differ from "the power of positive thinking"? How can therapists who use CBT avoid invalidating clients' feelings? When, if ever, should people listen to their negative thoughts? To what extent can a person's good qualities contribute to their depression? Can empathy be learned? Is it possible to cure depression in a single psychotherapy session? What is TEAM-CBT? Is exposure therapy cruel? What are some strategies for silencing the voices in our heads that lead to depression, anxiety, and other negative mental states?David Burns is Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where he is involved in research and teaching. He has previously served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian / University of Pennsylvania Medical Center (1988) and Visiting Scholar at the Harvard Medical School (1998), and is certified by the National Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. He has received numerous awards, including the A. E. Bennett Award for his research on brain chemistry, the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology through the Media Award, and the Outstanding Contributions Award from the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He has been named Teacher of the Year three times from the class of graduating residents at Stanford University School of Medicine, and feels especially proud of this award. In addition to his academic research, Dr. Burns has written a number of popular books on mood and relationship problems. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, has sold over 4 million copies in the United States, and many more worldwide. When he is not crunching statistics for his research, he can be found teaching his famous Tuesday evening psychotherapy training group for Stanford students and community clinicians, or giving workshops for mental health professionals throughout the United States and Canada. Learn more about him at feelinggood.com.Further reading:Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety by David BurnsANNOUNCEMENT: EA NYC is hosting Spencer for a live recording of our podcast on January 30, 2024! The event is titled: "The moral status of insects and AI systems, and other thorny questions and global priorities research, with Jeff Sebo and Spencer Greenberg". If you'd like to attend in person, click here! Staff Spencer Greenberg — Host / Director Josh Castle — Producer Ryan Kessler — Audio Engineer Uri Bram — Factotum WeAmplify — Transcriptionists Miles Kestran — Marketing Music Lee Rosevere Josh Woodward Broke for Free zapsplat.com wowamusic Quiet Music for Tiny Robots Affiliates Clearer Thinking GuidedTrack Mind Ease Positly UpLift [Read more]
In this episode of Elixir Wizards, Xiang Ji and Nathan Hessler join hosts Sundi Myint and Owen Bickford to compare actor model implementation in Elixir, Ruby, and Clojure. In Elixir, the actor model is core to how the BEAM VM works, with lightweight processes communicating asynchronously via message passing. GenServers provide a common abstraction for building actors, handling messages, and maintaining internal state. In Ruby, the actor model is represented through Ractors, which currently map to OS threads. They discuss what we can learn by comparing models, understanding tradeoffs between VMs, languages, and concurrency primitives, and how this knowledge can help us choose the best tools for a project. Topics discussed in this episode: Difference between actor model and shared memory concurrency Isolation of actor state and communication via message passing BEAM VM design for high concurrency via lightweight processes GenServers as common abstraction for building stateful actors GenServer callbacks for message handling and state updates Agents as similar process abstraction to GenServers Shared state utilities like ETS for inter-process communication Global Interpreter Lock in older Ruby VMs Ractors as initial actor implementation in Ruby mapping to threads Planned improvements to Ruby concurrency in 3.3 Akka implementation of actor model on JVM using thread scheduling Limitations of shared memory concurrency on JVM Project Loom bringing lightweight processes to JVM Building GenServer behavior in Ruby using metaprogramming CSP model of communication using channels in Clojure Differences between BEAM scheduler and thread-based VMs Comparing Elixir to academic languages like Haskell Remote and theScore are hiring! Links mentioned in this episode: theScore is hiring! https://www.thescore.com/ Remote is also hiring! https://remote.com/ Comparing the Actor Model and CSP with Elixir and Clojure (https://xiangji.me/2023/12/18/comparing-the-actor-model-and-csp-with-elixir-and-clojure/) Blog Post by Xiang Ji Comparing the Actor model & CSP concurrency with Elixir & Clojure (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIQCQKPRNCI) Xiang Ji at ElixirConf EU 2022 Clojure Programming Language https://clojure.org/ Akka https://akka.io/ Go Programming Language https://github.com/golang/go Proto Actor for Golang https://proto.actor/ RabbitMQ Open-Source Message Broker Software https://github.com/rabbitmq JVM Project Loom https://github.com/openjdk/loom Ractor for Ruby https://docs.ruby-lang.org/en/master/ractor_md.html Seven Concurrency Models in Seven Weeks: When Threads Unravel (https://pragprog.com/titles/pb7con/seven-concurrency-models-in-seven-weeks/)by Paul Butcher Seven Languages in Seven Weeks (https://pragprog.com/titles/btlang/seven-languages-in-seven-weeks/) by Bruce A. Tate GenServer https://hexdocs.pm/elixir/1.12/GenServer.html ets https://www.erlang.org/doc/man/ets.html Elixir in Action (https://pragprog.com/titles/btlang/seven-languages-in-seven-weeks/) by Saša Jurić Redis https://github.com/redis/redis Designing for Scalability with Erlang/OTP (https://www.oreilly.com/library/view/designing-for-scalability/9781449361556/) by Francesco Cesarini & Steve Vinoski Discord Blog: Using Rust to Scale Elixir for 11 Million Concurrent Users (https://discord.com/blog/using-rust-to-scale-elixir-for-11-million-concurrent-users) Xiang's website https://xiangji.me/ Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/feeling-good-the-new-mood-therapy-by-david-d-burns/250046/?resultid=7691fb71-d8f9-4435-a7a3-db3441d2272b#edition=2377541&idiq=3913925) by David D. Burns Special Guests: Nathan Hessler and Xiang Ji.
In this episode, we talk to David Burns, author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and The Feeling Good Handbook. David has changed so many people's lives, including mine. Among the topics we cover include: His upcoming book, Feeling Great How to overcome procrastination Why acceptance is paradoxically the greatest change you can make We hope you enjoy this interview with David Burns
Feelings of meaninglessness often are caused by how we understand ourselves. If we change how we think about our worth, we'll discover radiant meaning can be found in even the most ordinary aspects of our lives. Guest: David Burns is a leading psychiatrist and a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy has sold over 4 million copies and is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada. Making Meaning is a limited series from Ministry of Ideas that explores how life can be lived more meaningfully. Featuring meditations by some of the world's most sensitive and insightful thinkers, Making Meaning will give you fresh perspective and encouragement to live with greater intention and fullness. Making Meaning is produced by Jack Pombriant and Zachary Davis. Artwork by Dan Pecci. Learn more at ministryofideas.org and find us on Twitter @ministryofideas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network
Feelings of meaninglessness often are caused by how we understand ourselves. If we change how we think about our worth, we'll discover radiant meaning can be found in even the most ordinary aspects of our lives. Guest: David Burns is a leading psychiatrist and a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy has sold over 4 million copies and is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada. Making Meaning is a limited series from Ministry of Ideas that explores how life can be lived more meaningfully. Featuring meditations by some of the world's most sensitive and insightful thinkers, Making Meaning will give you fresh perspective and encouragement to live with greater intention and fullness. Making Meaning is produced by Jack Pombriant and Zachary Davis. Artwork by Dan Pecci. Learn more at ministryofideas.org and find us on Twitter @ministryofideas. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/psychology
David Burns MD (@DavidDBurnsMD) is the author of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (5 million+ copies sold) and host of the Feeling Good Podcasts. We have a wide ranging conversation around managing emotions, being happier, and David and I have a back and forth around handling conflict of opinion (in your pursuit of happiness, not everyone will think like you do). You can find out more about David over at https://feelinggood.com/ Get your 2-month free trial of my Inner Circle here https://bit.ly/InnerCircle2MTrial Join the FREE Facebook group for The Michael Brian Show at https://www.facebook.com/groups/themichaelbrianshow Follow Mike on Facebook Instagram & Twitter
The Dramatic Journey of Jason Meno In today's podcast, we interview the amazing but humble Jason Meno, who has been doing incredible programming for the Feeling Good App for the past year. Like everyone on our app development team, Jason was driven to TEAM-CBT and the Feeling Good App by his own personal struggles, and also by his training in Buddhism and his commitment to doing something to help relieve the enormous suffering endured by so many people in the United States and around the world who are struggling with depression and anxiety. The podcast notes will focus first on how he recently came to join our app team, and then on Jason's amazing early years in his search for meaning and a solution to his personal suffering and tragedies. Jason's journey to the Feeling Good App Jason began the podcast by describing how he became familiar with David's work. Then he described his own personal journey and search for enlightenment. I'll summarize some of both in these show notes. He said: I was struggling with severe depression in 2020. I felt like my body was falling apart because I've been afflicted with type 1 diabetes since I was five years old. I didn't have the resources to work with a therapist and felt hopeless, so I searched the internet, looking for a way of overcoming depression on my own. I first turned to apps for help, but my experience was not great. I eventually found David's book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Through that book, I discovered that depression and anxiety are cons and that I was tricking myself. However, I didn't use the tools or do the written exercises in the book. I started listening to the Feeling Good Podcasts and waited for the new book, Feeling Great. Often, when listening to the podcasts I would start crying. I am not a crier, and this often happened in public, so it was pretty embarrassing! I was also practicing meditation every day, but that didn't provide much help. It does have its benefits and was a solace for me when I had nothing else, but after years of practicing, it still didn't give me the tools to combat the thoughts that trigger depression and suicidal urges. But then I had an “ah-ha” moment when David talked about resistance and the power of positive reframing. It was a tremendous relief to see that it was reasonable to feel the way I was feeling. I devoured the Feeling Great book but still wanted to die since I was still not doing the written exercises that David repeatedly urges the reader to do. Then, on one of the podcasts, someone said, “you can't challenge your negative thoughts in your head.” I resisted that message and told myself that I had no negative thoughts. Many of my negative thoughts are quiet since you learn to empty your mind when you meditate. But then I realized that negative thoughts are just the top layer of your consciousness and that the concept of “cognitions” not only includes thoughts like “I'm a loser,” but also your daydreams, beliefs, and perceptions. Then, once I sat down and wrote down my negative thoughts, identified their distortions, and challenged them with more realistic thoughts, I began to feel a lot better within five minutes! If you, the podcast listener, are feeling down, there's a step-by-step guide in Feeling Great that could be enormously helpful to you. I started following this guide, and then I really started to feel great. After using it a few times, I had the thought, “Wow, this could be a pretty amazing app!” One of the first questions you ask yourself, “do I really want to feel better?” had a massive impact on me and, of course, is one of the unique elements of TEAM-CBT. And although I made mistakes while using the tools on my own, they still helped more than anything else I've tried. Eventually, I saw a non-TEAM therapist who provided me with some great empathy and valuable perspectives while I used the TEAM-CBT process and daily mood log on my own. Then I suddenly realized that I had no more suicidal thoughts. TEAM-CBT is a way for you to rapidly train your mind and develop a new mindset that reduces suffering. This is an important ethical issue to me, given all the suffering that remains throughout the world, and it reminded me of my Buddhist vow to help others. So, I signed up to be a beta tester for David's Feeling Good App. However, I was disappointed in the early version I tested and created a 12-page document listing my complaints. Then I reached out to Jeremy Karmel, the CEO of the Feeling Good App, and he invited me to join the development team. I was so excited that I left my job as a data scientist working on an automated insulin device and joined the app development team. And although I was not familiar with the computer language Jeremy was using, I learned it quickly, and now I'm programming all kinds of cool things for the app! Jason's early years You may or may not be familiar with Herman Hesse's famous 1922 novel, “Siddhartha,” which traced the journey of the young Buddha as he was searching for personal enlightenment and unlocking the key to human suffering. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddhartha_(novel)) I have not read many books, because I am a slow reader, but that one is short and has always been one of my favorites. Jason's intense and dramatic journey reminds me of Siddhartha's path. Jason's road to TEAM-CBT, his current passion, was not a direct one at all. Like myself (David), he was raised in a strict Christian home but found himself attracted to exciting and controversial topics when he was in high school, like astral traveling and “lucid dreaming,” which means becoming aware when you are dreaming so you can take charge of your dreams and do things in your dream world that you may not be permitted to do in real life. For example, Jason has been treated for type 1 diabetes since the age of 5 and has to monitor his blood glucose levels 24 hours a day. Things like fresh orange juice are dangerous because they cause a spike in blood sugar, but in a lucid dream you can drink all the orange juice you want! I can identify with Jason's yearning for fresh squeezed orange juice, because I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, and we had many orange trees in our yard, so the orange juice was plentiful and incredibly delicious! When Jason was a teenager, there was a magic / occult shop near his high school that he would joyfully and curiously explore after school, but his parents were dead set against it. They told him that he was exploring ideas promoted by the devil and threatened to kick him out of the house! I also identified with these memories, as I also used to hang out in magic stores in Phoenix when I was in high school. But these were more the kinds of shops that sold tricks of various kinds that magicians could use. Although Jason studied biomedical engineering in college, he continued to be fascinated by his more exciting “alternative” occult pursuits, and dropped out of college to join a cult in Sedona, Arizona. The cult members insisted that he could cure his diabetes simply by believing he could, so he obediently stopped taking his insulin and monitoring his blood sugar for one day and nearly died. Jason described that his mother struggled with emotional issues. After running away with him twice when he was 10, she lost custody and disappeared to Santiago, Chile. Jason had not heard from her since. But one day, out of the blue, his brother called him and said that their mom had suddenly returned home, and there was some talk of starting a family bakery. Jason was thrilled and purchased a plane ticket to fly from Indiana to Hanford, California, to surprise his mom after not seeing her for 10 years and offer to help with the bakery. But then right before leaving, his sister called and asked if he had heard the news. At first, he thought she was talking about the family bakery, but his sister said, “No, mom just committed suicide.” Jason was devastated and sadly flew home out for the funeral. Although his mother's body was not present at the funeral, he looked and suddenly thought he saw her standing in the church during the service. This jolted him, understandably, until it dawned on him that it was his mother's twin sister. His aunt offered him a new life, a car, and a beautiful home in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California, but he was still obsessed with the cult, so he returned to the cult in Arizona. He spent all his savings of $3,000 for special training to become a cult leader and ended up living as a homeless person in Boulder, Colorado. However. he started running out of his diabetes medications and having panic attacks. He eventually found work in a Buddhist retreat center in the mountains of Colorado and started studying Buddhism, making friends with the monks, and began doing traditional mediation. He said that mediating intensified his negative feelings, and he became suicidal, and even tried a special “suicide meditation” that he'd learned from the cult in Arizona. They claimed that if you did this meditation, you would disappear and end up in a kind of different universe, but after trying it several times, he realized it was all bunk and gave it up, along with the other crazy cult things he'd been taught. However, he did make a sound connection with traditional Buddhism, and lived at the retreat center for about a year. He described a special meditation where you ask yourself, “what doesn't need to change?” The goal is to discover that the answer is “nothing” since everything is in constant flux, and this meditation is intended to lead to a kind of acceptance. But, he says, “at first I resisted.” He said he did experience feelings of pleasure and euphoria during some of his mediations, but that this was not a permanent cure for his depression. That's because the meditation was a distraction or escape from his negative thoughts, a kind of temporary trance-like state, but when you finish meditating, you are back to your normal life, so your negative thoughts and feelings return. Jason has become an enthusiastic advocate of TEAM-CBT, and described two ways of challenging negative thoughts based on David's Externalization of Voices Technique. One approach is highly rational, and it reduces your negative feelings but does not flood you with feelings of joy or enlightenment. The other approach reduces your negative feelings AND energizes you with feelings of joy. The second involves using David's Externalization of Voices Technique along with the three strategies for crushing negative thoughts: Acceptance Self-Defense The CAT, or Counter-Attack Technique. David asked Jason to discuss one of the traditional Buddhist definitions of enlightenment. You are “enlightened” if you are free of greed, ignorance, and delusions. However, he sent this delightful email following the podcast recording: Hi David and Rhonda, Thank you so much again for having me on the podcast! It was a blast! I wanted to clarify an important mistake I made: A commonly accepted Buddhist definition of enlightenment is to be completely free of the three root poisons of greed, hatred, and delusion. These are considered to be the source of suffering / negative thoughts / mind states (Buddhists refer to these as Kleshas). I can't remember exactly what I said in the podcast, but I think I may have incorrectly listed the three poisons as greed, delusion, and ignorance. Delusion and Ignorance are considered to be in the same category, so I think I forgot Hatred. Oops! Looks like I'll have to brush up on my studies again! Hopefully, we can help make this clear in the show notes as well. If you or anyone you know is at all interested in learning more about Buddhism, its philosophies, and history, I highly recommend the YouTube channel Doug's Dharma. Candidly, Jason I am very grateful for the creative and life-changing contributions that Jason is making in our Feeling Good App, and I feel tremendously lucky to know Jason on a personal and professional level. His quite humility speaks loudly and boldly about the kind of loving and genuine person he is, and if you decide to beta-test our app, you will have the chance to benefit from his personal journey and his professional genius! If you're interested, you can sign up to beta test the app at www.feelinggood.com/app. If you would like to contact Jason, you can reach him at asonmeno@feelinggoodapp.com. After reviewing the draft of the show notes, I got this link from Jason: Also, if you are interested in reading a little more of the story, I wrote this article a few years ago about some scary health challenges I had and how I ended up leaving the Buddhist retreat center and returning to school: Buddhist Enlightenment or Just Life with Diabetes? Thanks for listening today! Thanks! Rhonda, Jason, and David
The pandemic and political unrest has led to many people feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or at odds with those that they love. Many people have found themselves questioning what's happening in their lives and looking for a silver lining. Adam Schroeder and Naresh Vissa are joined by Dr. David D. Burns, an internationally renowned psychiatrist and adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, to discuss these issues and others. Dr. Burns is the New York Times' bestselling author of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life, Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety, Ten Days to Self-Esteem: Defeat Depression, Develop Self-Esteem, and Discover the Secrets of Joy in Daily Living, and Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work. Dr. Burns was a pioneer in the development of cognitive therapy, and is the founder and creator of the new TEAM-CBT, which makes ultra-rapid recovery from depression and anxiety possible. Website: www.FeelingGood.com www.Patreon.com/WorkFromHomeShow www.WorkFromHomeShow.com
Podcast #280: A Beloved and Brilliant Voice from the Past: Dr. Stirling Moorey! Rhonda and I are thrilled to welcome Dr. Stirling Moorey, from London, England, to today's podcast. Stirling was one of my first students, and he sat in with me my on all my sessions as a co-therapist for a month for two summers in the late 1970s. I wrote about Stirling in my first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, which was published in 1980. One of the miracles of the internet, and zoom, is the chance to reunite with friends and colleagues from the past. Needless to say, Rhonda and I were SO EXCITED when Stirling accepted the invitation to join us! Rhonda starts the podcast by saying that “Dr. Stirling Moorey had the good fortune to be trained and supervised by two pioneers in the field of cognitive therapy, Drs. Aaron Beck and David Burns. In 1979, when Stirling was still in medical school in London, he did an elective with Dr. Aaron Beck at the Centre for Cognitive Therapy in Philadelphia.“ I (David) might put it a bit differently. I would say that during the early days of cognitive therapy, I had the fantastic opportunity to do co-therapy together with Stirling with many patients. I learned a tremendous amount from Stirling, even though I was, in theory, the “expert” and he, in theory, was a totally untrained and green novice. But he was phenomenal right out of the gates, and those months were among the happiest of my life. What I learned by observing Stirling's superb interactions with my patients eventually morphed into my Five Secrets of Effective Communication and my first book, Feeling Good Together! Rhonda continues: "Stirling was one of the first British therapists to study CBT when that discipline was in its infancy. David described their fantastic collaborative work with Stirling in Feeling Good, and has described Stirling's brilliant empathy skills in dozens of workshops. Stirling is currently a Consultant Psychiatrist in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and was the Professional Head of Psychotherapy for the South London and Maudsley Trust from 2005-2013. He has been a Visiting Senior Lecturer at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience in London." Stirling is a highly regarded therapist, trainer / supervisor / teacher and workshop leader. His main research interest is in the application of CBT to life threatening illness and adversity. He was one of the first therapists to develop CBT for people with cancer and has contributed to five randomized controlled trials in both early and late stage cancer. Stirling is also co-author with Steven Greer of The Oxford Guide to CBT for People with Cancer, and has co-edited a book entitled The Therapeutic Relationship in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, published by SAGE (Moorey & Lavender, eds.) During today's podcast, Stirling reminds us that one of the aims of cognitive therapy is encouraging patients to examine their distorted negative thoughts and self-defeating beliefs in a way that is not threatening. If patients don't feel validated, they may feel attacked and become defensive, which, of course, can undermine the therapist's effectiveness. He also reminded us that the grandfather of cognitive therapy, the late Dr. Albert Ellis from New York, often attacked the beliefs of his patients in a somewhat aggressive manner, and that this can frequently trigger therapeutic resistance. In fact, an overly aggressive therapeutic style can split patients and colleagues into two camps: those who love you, and those who may stubbornly resist and oppose you. During the podcast, we reminisced a bit on shared memories, and Stirling said that “David took me under his wing with such willingness to share his knowledge and experience . . . and I was just an ordinary medical student. We had many great moments!” Although Stirling was tempted to relocate to America, he decided to remain in England, and has never regretted that decision. For one thing, he met and married his beloved Magda. My own wife, Melanie, and I were honored to take our two kids to England to attend their marriage. We all loved England and had a ball! Magda, Stirling's wife We discussed some of Stirling's amazing work with the patients we saw together in Philadelphia, as well as his visit one summer when we were in California visiting with Melanie's parents in Los Altos, where we now live. Stirling recalled that when we were out shopping one day, my wife and I tried to persuade him to purchase a large Stetson hat, but he resisted! Stirling described the three ways in which he encourages people to change their negative thoughts using the Socratic Technique of gentle questioning: he asks if the negative thoughts are realistic, if they are helpful, and if an alternative perspective can be taken. The reality testing approach focuses on the important differences between healthy negative feelings, like healthy sadness or grief, which don't usually need any treatment, and unhealthy negative feelings like depression, or a panic attack. One key difference is that healthy negative feelings always result from valid, undistorted thoughts. For example, if a loved one dies, you may tell yourself, “I still love him with all my heart, and I'll miss the many wonderful times we spent together.” In contrast, unhealthy negative feelings result from negative thoughts about the person who died that are distorted. For example, a young woman who's brother committed suicide told herself, “It's my fault he was depressed because our parents love me more when we were growing up. I should have know that he was considering suicide the day he died, so I, too, deserve to die.” Of course, the distorted thoughts don't have to result from a traumatic event. For example, a chronically depressed patient may tell himself, “I'm a loser, and I'll be depressed forever.” A more pragmatic treatment approach focuses less on whether thoughts are distorted or not, but rather on their effects. It's possible for a thought to be realistic but unhelpful. If a tightrope walker in the circus thinks during their act, ”If I fall I will die,” this may be realistic but not very helpful! Stirling talked about how the third way to look at changing thoughts is based on the fact that our lives always have a narrative—a story we tell ourselves about what has happened, or what is happening right now in our lives. These stories can have a powerful impact on how we all think, feel, and behave, and may often function as self-fulfilling prophecies. We can change these stories to make them more adaptive for us. For instance, rather than seeing the glass as half empty, we can see it as both half empty and half full; or we may choose to focus on what you can control vs. what you can't. What I've written so far are just some general ideas, summaries of things that we talked about on the podcast. But when you listen to the podcast, you will perhaps notice the warmth, richness, and depth in the way Stirling thinks and communicates. Then you will “see” and experience his true genius and his immense compassion! We hope that we can entice Stirling to present to one of our free weekly training groups, and perhaps even see if he might agree to do another co-therapy sessions with me that we can publish on a podcast, so you can actually see and experience this master therapist in action! Rhonda, Stirling and David
In episode 313 I chat with Dr David Burns. David is a psychiatrist, and is currently Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He is the author of the best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, as well as many other books, including the more recent book Feeling Great. David also developed the therapy TEAM-CBT. We discuss his therapy story, his own journey with anxiety, he tells plenty of stories to illustrate this, we discuss motivation for doing exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP), he gives client case examples, the hidden emotion model, and much more. Hope it helps. Show notes: https://theocdstories.com/episode/dr-david-burns-313 The podcast is made possible by NOCD. NOCD offers affordable, effective, convenient therapy available in the US and outside the US. To find out more about NOCD, their therapy plans and if they currently take your insurance head over to https://go.treatmyocd.com/theocdstories
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Early in his career, Dr. David Burns asked his mentor, Aaron Beck, what to do with hopeless patients, the ones medicine didn't have an answer for. Beck's answered he never gave up on a patient, and that David should build his own policy in that regard. As a result, Dr. Burns adopted that philosophy and never gave up on a patient; he happily assisted thousands of patients with a 100% recovery rate. Our guest, Dr. David Burns, is one of the world's leading authorities dealing with anxiety, depression, and other mental conditions. He received his M.D. from Stanford University School of Medicine and completed his psychiatry residency at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. He is also a Podcast Host and Author of several books, including "Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy" and "Feeling Great - The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety." After over 40 years of research and working with tens of thousands of patients, Dr. Burns developed revolutionary and effective tools to deal with anxiety and depression. He is moved by a genuine desire to help people feel better, and for the last 25 years, he hadn't prescribed a single medication to any of them. Dr. Burns kindly shared bits of his lifetime research in this episode, dropping countless golden nuggets of wisdom and inspirational thoughts. We also talked about the real reason behind why we feel depressed and anxious, illustrated by a beautiful experience Dr. Burns had with one woman in front of an entire audience. Tune in to Episode 311 and listen to what Dr. Burns has to say about our mood, thoughts, and how they combine to make us feel how we feel. Some Questions I Ask: Could you share a little of your background? (2:36) From your perspective, what are you seeing in the world right now about anxiety and depression? (6:24) What would you say is the starting point for someone listening to this right now? (23:24) In This Episode, You Will Learn: About the tools we had and the ones we have now to deal with anxiety and depression (8:04) Everyone has some level of anxiety. The danger of starting to generalize anxiety (11:13) Anxiety and depression as a result of what is right with us, not what is wrong with us (11:31) The case of a woman who recovered in front of an audience (13:14) Some of the things Dr. Burns learned along the way and some people find controversial (28:45) Resources: Feeling Good - Dr. Burns website Dr. David Burns books Feeling Good Podcast Connect with Dr. Burns: Facebook Twitter See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Feelings of meaninglessness often are usually more about how we understand ourselves. If we change how we think about our worth, we'll discover radiant meaning can be found in the most ordinary aspects of our lives. Guest David Burns is a leading psychiatrist and a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy has sold over 4 million copies and is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada.
Feelings of meaninglessness often are caused by how we understand ourselves. If we change how we think about our worth, we'll discover radiant meaning can be found in even the most ordinary aspects of our lives.Guest BioDavid Burns is a leading psychiatrist and a pioneer of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy has sold over 4 million copies and is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada.Show DescriptionMaking Meaning is a limited series from Ministry of Ideas that explores how life can be lived more meaningfully. Featuring meditations by some of the world's most sensitive and insightful thinkers, Making Meaning will give you fresh perspective and encouragement to live with greater intention and fullness. Making Meaning is produced by Jack Pombriant and Zachary Davis. Artwork by Dan Pecci.Learn more at ministryofideas.org and find us on Twitter @ministryofideas.
Together, Stephen, Clint, Tom, Brandon, and Lauren are excited to bring you their Twitter Spaces recording from November 24, 2021. Each speaker shares their secrets to increasing their income: college majors, jobs choices, real estate, side hustles, stacking skills, and more. If you don't feel like you're making enough or you just plain want to make more, this episode is for you. Tell your friends, too. Connect with the speakers: https://twitter.com/StephenWealthy_ https://twitter.com/IAmCoachClint https://twitter.com/Thefrugalgay11 https://twitter.com/AdultingIsEasy https://twitter.com/rinkydoofinance Books mentioned: Bigger Pockets (multiple), Never Split the Difference by Voss, To Sell is Human by Pink, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Burns, The Prosperous Coach by Litvin and Chandler, Existential Kink by Elliott, Dear Debt by Lockert Lauren's Bigger Pockets Podcast: https://youtu.be/FDEUWWUu8UQ Stephen's crypto guide: https://mywealthmoney.com/crypto-mining-start-guide-for-gaming-pcs/ -- Sound played over Clint's salary provided by Zapsplat.com --
David D. Burns, M.D., is a renowned psychiatrist, award winning researcher, and author of the phenomenally successful Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, which has sold 5 million copies worldwide. More than 50,000 American and Canadian mental health professionals have attended his popular training programs, and his weekly Feeling Good podcast has surpassed 2 million downloads. Dr. Burns graduated magna cum laude from Amherst College, received his M.D. from Stanford University School of Medicine, and completed his psychiatry residency at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. He has served as Acting Chief of Psychiatry at the Presbyterian / University of Pennsylvania Medical Center (1988) and Visiting Scholar at the Harvard Medical School (1998), and is certified by the National Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. Dr. Burns is currently Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where he is involved in research and teaching. He has received numerous awards, including the A. E. Bennett Award for his research on brain chemistry, the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology through the Media Award, and the Outstanding Contributions Award from the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He has been named Teacher of the Year three times from the class of graduating residents at Stanford University School of Medicine, and feels especially proud of this award. In addition to his academic research, Dr. Burns has written a number of popular books on mood and relationship problems. Articles about Dr. Burns have been featured in more than 100 popular consumer magazines, including The New York Times and Reader's Digest, and he has been interviewed on more than 1,000 radio and television shows. In 1995, Dr. Burns and his family returned to California from Philadelphia. When he is not crunching statistics for his research, he can be found teaching his famous Tuesday evening psychotherapy training group for Stanford students and community clinicians, or giving workshops for mental health professionals throughout the United States and Canada. Sign up for 10% off of Shrink Rap Radio CE credits at the Zur Institute
Many of the fake news that we consume are generated NOT by trolls but by OUR OWN MINDS. In this episode, we expose the harmful thoughts that sabotage our happiness, and learn how to fact-check the stories in our heads.Cited materials:"Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by Dr. David D. Burns"Cognitive Distortions: When Your Brain Lies to You" (https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-distortions/)Fear-Setting concept by Tim Ferris (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J6jAC6XxAI)"Brene Brown: The Call to Courage" (available on Netflix)UP Dragonboat Team Psych Up Webinar (https://bit.ly/30yS4z8)Radical Acceptance concept by Marsha LinehanExtreme Ownership concept by Jocko Willink See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Learn how Clint Robert Murphy achieved personal and financial success in life despite struggles with ADHD and depression. Clint is a Chief Financial Officer, real estate investor, writer, and host of the Pursuit of Learning Podcast. In this episode, he shares his story dealing with depression and ADHD, how he became successful as a real estate investor, and how he helps men deal with their own mental health issues. “I've achieved a reasonable level of success in my career and in my life professionally and financially. You can achieve these things despite the diagnosis, despite ADHD, despite depression. Those don't define you.” - Clint Robert Murphy “In some ways, ADHD helped me. I think of it 80% as a superpower, 20% as a challenge.” - Clint Robert Murphy What You Will Learn From This Episode What is an industrial psychologist and how it can help people Thought auditing, improving emotional intelligence, and Buddhism - 3 things that help Clint make better choices How we can fix our thinking and eventually fix what we feel How ADHD helped Clint become successful in real estate and saved his family from perceived financial ruin Tips on real estate investing Helping men who are building a career and family with their mental health issues About Clint Robert Murphy: Clint is a husband and father to two young boys, now 10 and 13. By day, he's a chief financial officer and in the evenings, he reads, invests, is writing a fantasy novel series, and hosts the Pursuit of Learning Podcast. Clint also supports other men on their journeys by facilitating a men's workgroup in his community. Resources: Resources include affiliate links which support the website and podcast. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns, M.D. Investing in Real Estate to Paying Off Debt: An Interview with Ogechi Igbokwe On Toxic Masculinity and Mental Health: An Interview with Colin Becker Under Saturn's Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men by James Hollis Connect with Clint clint-robert-murphy.com Twitter Instagram Connect with Melanie mentalhealthandwealth.com melanielockert.com Instagram Contact: mentalhealthandwealthshow@gmail.com Want more content and support? Sign up for the Mental Hump Newsletter and get our free Mental Health and Money inventory worksheet. You can sign up at MentalHealthandWealth.com. If you'd like to support the podcast, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/melanielockert Follow us on Apple Podcast or Libsyn! Love the podcast? Leave a review on iTunes!
Podcast 257: What's an Intensive? Today's podcast features Dr. Lorraine Wong and Richard Lam who describe the intensive TEAM-CBT treatment program at the Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View, California. Dr. Wong is a board certified clinical psychologist and the Clinical Director of The Feeling Good Institute in Mountain View. Richard Lam is TEAM Certified Therapist, Trainer and Certification Program Manager at the Feeling Good Institute. An intensive is a departure from the conventional weekly 50-minute session and compresses an entire course of therapy into a brief period of time. David describes how he created this treatment approach accidentally at his hospital in Philadelphia when one of the world's most famous and beloved actors, a man who was a great fan of Dr. Burns first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, contacted him and asked for treatment. However, there was a catch. He only had two days available, and asked if he could fly from Hollywood to Philadelphia and book all of my sessions for two days. I was delighted to do that, and scheduled 17 back-to-back 45-minute sessions on a Thursday and Friday. He came in a disguise, and explained that fans and the paparazzi were constantly hounding him, and that he felt like a hunted animal. I asked if the disguise was effective, and he said it wasn't working at all. People still hounded him and asked why he was wearing the disguise and asked for autographs. Because he was a powerful actor, the roleplaying techniques I have developed, like Externalization of Voices, were tremendously effective, and he actually made a complete recovery within a couple hours. Later on, I developed an intensive program for the patients in our inner-city neighborhood, with the help of the president of our hospital, and it was also incredibly effective for our patients who had few resources. However, they loved cognitive therapy! Richard and Lorraine explain how they are implementing the intensive concept at the FGI, working with people from around the United States and the world who come to Mountain View for several days for the treatment. They describe their work with a severely and chronically depressed man who came from Europe who seemed incredibly challenging at first. He was super skeptical and said that that he'd had tons of failed therapy but nothing and no one had ever helped him. He was telling himself things like this: Life isn't worth living. I'm a special case and no one will be able to help me. Life shouldn't be so hard. I should be able to enjoy life more. However, once they blew away his resistance using Paradoxical Agenda Setting, Richard explains that “it was a breeze to blow all of his negative thoughts out of the water.” The treatment is costly in the short-term, but can be extremely cost-effective in reality because recovery often happens rapidly. It is my impression, too, that in the hands of a skillful therapist, extended sessions and intensive treatment with TEAM-CBT can often be amazingly effective. If you would like to contact them, you can go to the FGI website (www.feelinggoodinstitute.com) or email them: Richard@feelinggoodinstitute.com or Lorraine@feelinggoodinstitute.com. Thanks for listening, and thanks to Richard and Lorraine for being especially fun and gracious guests on today's podcast! Rhonda and David Dr. Rhonda Barovsky practices in Walnut Creek, California. She sees clients via Zoom, and in her office. She can be reached at rhonda@feelinggreattherapycenter.com. She is a Level 4 Certified TEAM-CBT therapist and trainer and specializes in the treatment of trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship problems. Check out her new website: www.feelinggreattherapycenter.com. You can reach Dr. Burns at david@feelinggood.com.
Dr Peter Spurrier is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) practitioner, specialising in TEAM-CBT and a Professional Holistic (Well-Being, “Life”, Executive) CoachIn 2011, having been a GP for 30 years, a GP mentor and trainer for 15 years and an appraiser for 10 years, Peter decided to train in CBT and subsequently gained BABCP accreditation and he is an accredited Coach Practitioner with the European Mentoring and Coaching Council.In this podcast we talk to Peter about all aspects of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) from its inception and early practice to cutting edge TEAM CBT. We explore what CBT is and the benefits and results of therapy on various mental health and life issues. We dig in to the detail on what a TEAM CBT therapy session involves from the first consultation and the methods and interventions that deliver great outcomes.We discuss how Dr David Burns, adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioural Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the author of bestselling books such as Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, The Feeling Good Handbook and Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety has pioneered new techniques of TEAM CBT.As a bonus, we also reveal the biggest secret to effective and meaningful communication.Teams CBT UK practitioners More info on Dr Peter Spurrier Information on TEAM CBT and Dr David Burns
If I were a psychologist, my specialty would definitely be Cognitive Psychology, which this quote from Steve Chandler pretty much sums up in just a few words. CP focuses on the way we process outside information. When we apply faulty reasoning, invalid assumptions, and misconceptions to otherwise neutral events, we end up with “cognitive distortions.” Examples are “all-or-nothing” thinking, over-generalizations, and jumping to conclusions. The best book I've found on the subject is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. People mentioned in this episode: Steve Chandler Books and other resources mentioned in this episode: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. Six things about Simple Secrets and its founder, Chris Allen: Simple Secrets, LLC is a profit+growth consultancy based in Asheville, North Carolina, with team members around the world. Simple Secrets collaborates with a hand-selected group of entrepreneurs, small business owners, and independent practitioners – doctors, lawyers, dentists, veterinarians, CPAs, etc. – to maximize their incomes, allowing them more well-deserved focus, freedom and fulfillment. Simple Secrets was founded in 2015 by award-winning direct response marketer, entrepreneur, and consultant Chris Allen. In the pre-Internet 90's, Chris developed and marketed millions of dollars worth of physical products on radio and TV – the old "operators are standing by" days – then used his time-tested warchest of successful marketing methods to go completely digital in 2002, when the Internet began to mature. For over a decade, Chris provided information and consulting services to a variety of Fortune 500 companies, including United Airlines, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sony, LexisNexis and The National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB). When he's not online, helping clients, Chris enjoys playing way too much Pickleball, and eating way too much pizza. Don't forget your FREE GIFTS! If you're an entrepreneur, own a small business, or have a private practice, click the link below for FREE GIFTS guaranteed to make you more money with less stress... SimpleSecrets.com
Sometimes the thoughts running through our heads aren’t serving us in the way they should be. In this episode, I’m breaking down the 10 cognitive distortions from David D. Burns’ book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. I chat about identifying what thoughts are true, what thoughts you like, what thoughts are serving you and which ones might not be based on reality. What you’ll find in this episode: A segment on what I’m currently creating The 10 cognitive distortions How these distortions relate to creativity For full show notes, resources, links and to download the transcript, head to https://handlettereddesign.com/blogs/podcast/ Ready for a fun activity to feel less stress? Come get our FREE Guide - 5 Creative Steps to Less Stress & More Joy while it's still available: http://CommittedtoCreate.com/lessstress I hope that my podcast has left you feeling inspired and excited to create the life that you want. If you’ve enjoyed listening to this podcast, I’d love for you to subscribe so you can continue to hear more. Want to get to know me better? Connect with me on my website at https://handlettereddesign.com/ or on Instagram @handlettereddesign to keep up with everything that is going on with me and my business.
Announcements / Upcoming Workshops March 24, 2021 Feeling Great: A New, High-Speed Treatment for Depression and Anxiety. A One-Day Workshop by David Burns, MD. sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates, Vancouver Click here for more information including registration! April 7, 2021 Bringing TEAM-CBT to Life in Real Time, by David D. Burns, MD. A Half-Day Live Therapy Demonstration Sponsored by Jack Hirose & Associates, Vancouver Click here for more information including registration! * * * Podcast 234: How To Deal with Whiners and Complainers In today’s podcast, we bring to life two of the earliest CBT techniques I developed way back before I wrote Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. The are: The Anti-Whiner Technique The Anti-Heckler Technique they are both based in two of the Five Secrets of Effective Communication: The Disarming Technique: You find truth in what the other person is saying Stroking: You find something positive to say to the person In addition, if appropriate you can include Feeling Empathy, especially in the Anti-Whiner Technique. This means that you acknowledge how the other person is feeling The Anti-Whiner Technique Most of us know someone who tends to whine and complain a great deal, and you might have noticed that when you try to help them, cheer them up, or give them some advice, their whining and complaining just escalates, so you end up secretly frustrated and annoyed. If you’re tired of this pattern, you might want to try the Anti-Whiner Technique, which can be incredibly effective, but it’s anti-intuitive. You simply agree with the person who’s complaining, and give them a compliment. Rhonda and David will illustrate this with complaints like these: Nobody cares about me! I never get to do what I want to do. Nobody likes me. I never get invited anywhere. I never get to do anything fun. I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to help. All the doctors just seem to care about themselves. Nobody listens to me! Life is unfair. People only care about themselves I have to do everything for myself. Nobody helps. I can’t hear very well, my sight is deteriorating, and I’ve got hemorrhoids! What can I do? Preparation H doesn’t help at all! My students just don’t listen. This younger generation is totally screwed up! Nothing helps! I’m depressed all the time. I’ve tried everything. No one every said one kind thing to me! I’ve got so much to do, but I just can’t get started, and everything just keeps piling up! The Anti-Heckler Technique I love treating public speaking anxiety because I used to struggle with this problem myself, but now I totally love public speaking. One of the many reasons that people fear public speaking is because they’re afraid someone in the audience will become critical or hostile, or ask them something they can’t answer. The Anti-Heckler Technique is fairly easy to use, and works like a charm if done skillfully. It’s similar to the Anti-Whiner Technique we just illustrated. Just make a list of hostile things that the audience member from hell might say during your talk, or during the Q and A period, and then respond with the Disarming Technique plus Stroking. Rhonda and I will illustrate this with these kinds of critical comments. You’re full of shit and you know it! What you’re saying isn’t true and doesn’t make sense. You’re a total fraud and a fake. You're not supposed to say that. You talk too fast. You are confusing. You don't know what you're talking about. You are not following the outline you gave us. It's too cold, too hot. You're wrong about that. You are quoting outdated research that's been debunked already. I didn't like it when you made jokes. You don't know enough to teach this class. You're disorganized, incomprehensible, and boring. You always call on the same people in the audience, you play favorites. Rhonda and David also explore why it is so hard to use these techniques in our personal and professional relationships, and why we lapse into adversarial defenses when we could collaborate with others in the spirit of mutual exploration and learning. Most of it has to do with the idea that we have a “self,” or “ego” to defend! As the Buddha so often said, “Selves are cheap. Selflessness is dear!”
David D. Burns is a psychiatrist and adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the author of the bestselling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and The Feeling Good Handbook. Burns popularized Aaron T. Beck's cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) when his books became bestsellers during the 1980s. In a January 2021 interview, Burns attributed his rise in notoriety, popularity, and much of his success to an initial appearance in 1988 on the afternoon television talk show, The Phil Donahue Show, in which he was invited by the producer after helping her teenage son with depression. Burns received his B.A. from Amherst College in 1964 and his M.D. from the Stanford University School of Medicine in 1970. He completed his residency training in psychiatry in 1974 at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and was certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology in 1976. Burns is the author of numerous research studies, book chapters, and books. He also gives lectures and conducts many psychotherapy training workshops for mental health professionals throughout the United States and Canada each year. He has won many awards for his research and teaching, and has been named "Teacher of the Year" three times by the graduating class of psychiatric residents at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. Burns was an early student of Aaron T. Beck, who developed cognitive therapy during the 1960s and 1970s. Cognitive therapy was also based on the pioneering work of Albert Ellis during the 1950s, who popularized the notion that our thoughts and beliefs create our moods. However, the basic concept behind cognitive therapy goes all the way back to Epictetus, the Greek philosopher. Nearly 2,000 years ago he wrote that people are disturbed not by things, but by the views we take of them. In other words, our thoughts (or "cognitions") create all of our feelings. Thus when we make healthy changes in the way we think, we experience healthy changes in the way we feel. A quote by Dr Burns: "Action proceeds motivation" David D. Burns website - https://feelinggood.com/
You can get a copy of Nathan's Book here* on Amazon Empower Yourself – Awaken the B.E.A.S.T. Within - It's a great read and highly recommended.A book I read many years ago that changed how I looked at my own happiness was Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D Burns MD and I highly recommend it as a great read and source of valuable workable information. You can also grab a workbook to accompany the book here.Do you know the difference between and dream and a goal? Spoiler alert! It's the movement! The action you take. That's the big secret. That's where the WhyMeMovement is all about the actions we take including the decisions we make - discovering the opportunities to grow and learn through adversity. Vera-Lee has a special interest in helping people on a weight loss journey, particularly those who relate to morbid obesity, former/forever athletes, pre or post weight loss surgery, chronic illness and disability. Vera-Lee understands how to help you with the emotional and mental side of weight loss and conditioning, using a combination of techniques and allied professionals to best support your unique needs.She is a forever athlete who applies techniques for calm yet powerful coaching/mentoring sessions to help you achieve goals and improve your personal and professional confidence in every area of your life.If you really want to achieve results in your life and you are ready to commit to the process with Vera-Lee, who understands what it is like to overcome adversity, time and time again, you can book your discovery call now by clicking this link to find out how she can help you overcome your obstacles and rediscover passion and confidence to set and achieve those goals you desire. Vera-Lee has a specific interest in helping others with discovering a new approach to weight loss for people with disabilities, chronic illness, and who have been and are forever athletes and now dealing with unfamiliar territory of weight issues after a competitive career.Vera-Lee provides one to one and group coaching Click here to start the conversation on social media with Vera-Lee and experience her unique ability to help guide you through to your optimal state of living. Vera-Lee is from Australia and has an extensive background in Education, Sports Coaching and Business Administration and Leadership with Management Consulting. If you thought of someone who might find value in this podcast episode today, you can share the link and use it as an opportunity to let this person know you are thinking of them today, continuing the connection and relationships that foster hope and togetherness.Support the podcast and movement with a small donation here or contact Vera-Lee to discuss a sponsorship for the show to help our impact reach even further and inspire, connect and empower more people who want to life life to their fullest capacity. We appreciate your support to help the ongoing costs involved with producing this show for people in over 20 countries (at the time of this release).Vera-Lee launched in the top 30 iTunes charts in multiple countries after her training with the PPA, has a loyal and growing audience who love the content being produced. Many ask what equipment is being used for her audio/video set up, podcasting Microphone headphones pop filter green screen and backdrop stand microphone (shotgun) for DSLR video *Affiliate commissions may be earned through the product links and is an easy way to help support the WhyMePodcast and WhyMeMovement whilst gaining value for yourself or gifting a present to a friend. #whymemovement #wtflab #weightloss #adversityistheniche #whymegirl #weightdiscrimination #chewtheflab #flabtalks #flabbyfriday #weightloss #intuitiveeating #WLS #theadversityqueen #mentalhealthwarriors #foreverathlete #iCare #whymewednesday #whymepodcast #embrace #inspire #empower
If I were a psychologist, my specialty would definitely be Cognitive Psychology, which this quote from Steve Chandler pretty much sums up in just a few words. CP focuses on the way we process outside information. When we apply faulty reasoning, invalid assumptions, and misconceptions to otherwise neutral events, we end up with “cognitive distortions.” Examples are “all-or-nothing” thinking, over-generalizations, and jumping to conclusions. The best book I’ve found on the subject is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. People mentioned in this episode: Steve Chandler Books and other resources mentioned in this episode: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. Six things about Simple Secrets and its founder, Chris Allen: Simple Secrets, LLC is a profit and growth consultancy based in Asheville, North Carolina, with team members around the world. Simple Secrets collaborates with a hand-selected group of entrepreneurs, small business owners, and independent practitioners – doctors, lawyers, dentists, veterinarians, CPAs, etc. – to maximize their incomes, allowing them more well-deserved focus, freedom and fulfillment. Simple Secrets was founded in 2015 by award-winning direct response marketer, entrepreneur, and consultant Chris Allen. In the pre-Internet 90’s, Chris developed and marketed millions of dollars worth of physical products on radio and TV – the old "operators are standing by" days – then used his time-tested warchest of successful marketing methods to go completely digital in 2002, when the Internet began to mature. For over a decade, Chris provided information and consulting services to a variety of Fortune 500 companies, including United Airlines, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sony, LexisNexis and The National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB). When he’s not online, helping clients, Chris enjoys playing way too much Pickleball, and eating way too much pizza. Don't forget your FREE GIFTS! If you're an entrepreneur, own a small business, or have a private practice, click the link below for FREE GIFTS guaranteed to make you more money with less stress... SimpleSecrets.com
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (#CBT) is a powerful treatment for #depression and #anxiety. Whether we struggle with mental illness or are trying to support our loved ones, being skilled in #empathy can be a powerful tool for #emotionalintelligence/#EQ. Mike is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors and holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology degree. He is a Certified Level 5 Master TEAM CBT Therapist and Trainer and is the Director of Feeling Good Institute Canada. His diverse background in business, community organizations, and family support roles has given Mike a wide array of experience in leadership, administration, parenting training, and team building. Mike works closely with CBT pioneer Dr. David Burns in delivering workshops in Canada and provides advanced level online training with the Feeling Good Institute for therapists around the world. Mike specializes in treating depression and anxiety, with experience and training in addictions, PTSD, and relationship challenges. "Mike Christensen, one of the rising stars in TEAM-CBT. Mike is a terrific teacher and therapist, and a very compassionate individual! Highly recommended!” David D. Burns, MD, Author of “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”. Learn more at http://www.feelinggoodinstitute.com/ Brain Health with Dr. Nissen brings you advancements in medicine, #neuroscience, psychiatry, and #nutrition to help you live a better life. Dr. Nissen's expert interviews reveal new, evidence-based approaches to enhancing mental health, sharpening cognition, and optimizing performance. With topics such as #optogenetics, #Alzheimer's disease, #neuromodulation, #depression, the Mediterranean #Diet, and #psychedelics, this show is sure to expose listeners to new topics on the frontiers of medicine and neuroscience. Join our community at http://drnissen.com Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/drnissen Subscribe to the podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brain-health-with-dr-nissen/id1510757864 Dr. Nissen is a medical doctor (MD) and therapist. This show is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only and does not substitute personalized medical advice. Please speak with your doctor before attempting any medical or major diet and lifestyle changes. Check out Dr. Nissen's new children's book on empathy and emotional intelligence, Emily Empathy! http://bit.ly/emilyempathy
In this episode we are exploring the book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy", by David D. Burns, M.D. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/niani-peebles/support
If I were a psychologist, my specialty would definitely be Cognitive Psychology, which this quote from Steve Chandler pretty much sums up in just a few words. CP focuses on the way we process outside information. When we apply faulty reasoning, invalid assumptions, and misconceptions to otherwise neutral events, we end up with “cognitive distortions.” Examples are “all-or-nothing” thinking, over-generalizations, and jumping to conclusions. The best book I’ve found on the subject is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. People mentioned in this episode: Steve Chandler Books and other resources mentioned in this episode: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. Six things about Simple Secrets and its founder, Chris Allen: Simple Secrets, LLC is a profit and growth consultancy based in Asheville, North Carolina, with team members around the world. Simple Secrets collaborates with a hand-selected group of entrepreneurs, small business owners, and independent practitioners – doctors, lawyers, dentists, veterinarians, CPAs, etc. – to maximize their incomes, allowing them more well-deserved focus, freedom and fulfillment. Simple Secrets was founded in 2015 by award-winning direct response marketer, entrepreneur, and consultant Chris Allen. In the pre-Internet 90’s, Chris developed and marketed millions of dollars worth of physical products on radio and TV – the old "operators are standing by" days – then used his time-tested warchest of successful marketing methods to go completely digital in 2002, when the Internet began to mature. For over a decade, Chris provided information and consulting services to a variety of Fortune 500 companies, including United Airlines, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sony, LexisNexis and The National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB). When he’s not online, helping clients, Chris enjoys playing way too much Pickleball, and eating way too much pizza. Don't forget your FREE GIFTS! If you're an entrepreneur, own a small business, or have a private practice, click the link below for FREE GIFTS guaranteed to make you more money with less stress... SimpleSecrets.com
Journaling / Archiving Decision Journals FutureMe.org 1 Second Everyday (app) Narrative (wearable tech) 8th grade (film) Mindful Review by Tasshin Fogleman (article) and Mental Calendar by Lebran Sar (article) Concepts The riddle of experience vs. memory by Daniel Kahneman (video) What's This All About Journaling? by Hayley Phelan (article) Do more good in less time: productivity hacks by A.J. Jacobs (video) Why Life Seems to Speed Up as We Age by Derek Alexander Muller (Veritasium) (video) Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns (amazon goodreads): "...you're the only person in the world who can effectively persecute yourself. ... Would you be so cruel to someone else?" Music Intro music: Vlog Music Cafe Type Hip-Hop Instrumental Chill Lo-Fi Beat by Oliwia Orłowska Outro music: Game Over [Super Mario World Lofi/hiphop remix] by Neighborhood Vandal Transcript available at https://benpence.com/podcast/your-past-and-future-self
If I were a psychologist, my specialty would definitely be Cognitive Psychology, which this quote from Steve Chandler pretty much sums up in just a few words. CP focuses on the way we process outside information. When we apply faulty reasoning, invalid assumptions, and misconceptions to otherwise neutral events, we end up with “cognitive distortions.” Examples are “all-or-nothing” thinking, over-generalizations, and jumping to conclusions. The best book I’ve found on the subject is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. People mentioned in this episode: Steve Chandler Books and other resources mentioned in this episode: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David D. Burns. Six things about Simple Secrets and its founder, Chris Allen: Simple Secrets, LLC is a profit and growth consultancy based in Asheville, North Carolina, with team members around the world. Simple Secrets collaborates with a hand-selected group of entrepreneurs, small business owners, and independent practitioners – doctors, lawyers, dentists, veterinarians, CPAs, etc. – to maximize their incomes, allowing them more well-deserved focus, freedom and fulfillment. Simple Secrets was founded in 2015 by award-winning direct response marketer, entrepreneur, and consultant Chris Allen. In the pre-Internet 90’s, Chris developed and marketed millions of dollars worth of physical products on radio and TV – the old "operators are standing by" days – then used his time-tested warchest of successful marketing methods to go completely digital in 2002, when the Internet began to mature. For over a decade, Chris provided information and consulting services to a variety of Fortune 500 companies, including United Airlines, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sony, LexisNexis and The National Federation of Independent Business (NFIB). When he’s not online, helping clients, Chris enjoys playing way too much Pickleball, and eating way too much pizza. Don't forget your FREE GIFTS! If you're an entrepreneur, own a small business, or have a private practice, click the link below for FREE GIFTS guaranteed to make you more money with less stress... SimpleSecrets.com
Dr David D Burns is the author of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, a book that has sold well over five million copies in America alone. David is an adjunct clinical professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioural sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine. He has received numerous awards for his research and is known as the Gandalf of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). He also wrote Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety and When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life. To download the show notes, pick up a special workbook to deepen your knowledge on this subject and to find all of the links to Dr David D Burns' work, follow this link. https://bit.ly/3eKvfLx
Dr. Burns is currently Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where he is involved in research and teaching. He has received numerous awards, including the A. E. Bennett Award for his research on brain chemistry, the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology through the Media Award, and the Outstanding Contributions Award from the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He has been named Teacher of the Year three times from the class of graduating residents at Stanford University School of Medicine, and feels especially proud of this award. In addition to his academic research, Dr. Burns has written a number of popular books on mood and relationship problems. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, has sold over 4 million copies in the United States, and many more worldwide. Feeling Good is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada. Surveys indicate that American mental health professionals rate Feeling Good as the #1 book on depression, out of a list of 1,000 self-help books. In this pod, we discuss his new book, "Feeling Great."
We're learning how to take our anxiety down a notch this week with help from cognitive behavioral experts Dr. Elena Welsh and Dr. David Burns. Listen to hear these two experts give tips on how to tame your anxiety using specific CBT methods, why it is that we tend to go down these anxiety spirals in the first place, and how to change our thinking for better outcomes.Dr. Welsh is an LA-based psychologist who specializes in a wide variety of anxiety, mood, and depressive disorders, and is the author of The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Work Book for Panic Attacks. Dr. Burns is a psychiatrist and the author Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, and most recently Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety.Have an idea for a future episode? Call us at 347-687-8109 and leave a voicemail, or write to us at upgrade@lifehacker.com. We want to hear from you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This is the second part of the interview, addressing these questions: 1) what is anxiety? 2) what can we do about anxiety? 3) what can family/friends do about anxiety? Dr. Burns shares his personal experience in overcoming public speaking. He also addresses our tendency toward perfectionism and feeling that your worth is equal to your achievements. Dr. David Burns is a psychiatrist and author of the best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, which has sold over 4 million copies in the United States, and many more worldwide.
"If you have depression it is not what is wrong with you, but what is right with you. "--Dr. Burns Sleep disturbance is a common symptom of depression, and poor sleep can also make depression worse. Then how can we cope with depression better? Our guest today, Dr. David Burns, a psychiatrist and author of the best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, which has sold over 4 million copies in the United States, will share with us inspiring methods in treating depression. His new book, "feeling great", will be released in mid September, 2020. Show note: www.deepintosleep.co/episode/ep051-hope-within-depression-with-dr-david-burns.
"It's like an aha moment when you suddenly see it, the moment you say, oh, all these negative feelings are awesome and wonderful, this is a positive deal. The moment you see that you suddenly won't want or need them anymore.” - Dr. David burns “What you resist not only persists but will grow in size” - Carl Jung This was recorded in late August and throughout much of the world, we are still dealing with the pandemic via restricted living. Our routines have been disrupted and our world of experiences narrowed, going on six months. Add to the mix all the negative news that precedes a national election, and you have a recipe for depression and anxiety. Enter my guest on this episode is Dr.David Burns, M.D. David was a previous guest back when I started the podcast (episode 5), and he is one of the pioneers in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) so very happy to have him back on. Dr. Burns is currently Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, where he is involved in research and teaching. He has received numerous awards, including the A. E. Bennett Award for his research on brain chemistry, the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology through the Media Award, and the Outstanding Contributions Award from the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He has been named Teacher of the Year three times from the class of graduating residents at Stanford University School of Medicine, and his best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, published over 40 years ago, is still in the #1 Amazon spot for books on depression. Now he has a new book that innovates on the methods in the first called Feeling Great – The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety, which is based on more than 40,000 hours treating individuals with severe mood problems. Dr. Burns says that our negative moods do not result from what’s wrong with us, but rather - what’s right with us. And paradoxically, when you listen and “hear” what your negative thoughts and feelings are trying to say, you won’t need them anymore, and recovery follows. The goal, according to Dr. Burns, is not just complete elimination of negative feelings, but the development of joy and enlightenment. Some talking points from the show. A review of the origins and basics of CBT David's new treatment protocol - TEAM CBT A list of cognitive distortions Discerning healthy and unhealthy sadness On dealing with cancer Agenda setting How and why of honoring negative thoughts Case studies and patience response Read to investigate your feelings and experiment with how to change them? Enjoy! For resources and more visit larryweeks.com
Emotions are the heartbeat of human existence and the human drama that is full of anxiety, sadness, anger, fury, joy, or love feels like we are either riding a roller-coaster or floating gently in a boat that's in a calm and placid lake. Emotions that disrupt our relationship with the world require regulation, but conventional wisdom approaches might get us off track as we might train ourselves to either not feel the feelings or not react to them. On this podcast episode, father of the CBT-TEAM approach, author of the best seller “Feeling Good”, and host of the Feeling Good Podcasts, Dr. David Burns talks about why it is important to understand that all feelings are caused by thoughts and focusing on grouping emotions into positive and negative emotions may not serve us well, but rather redirecting unhealthy negative as well as unhealthy positive emotions can and will allow us to live our human experience to its fullest. About Dr. David BurnsDavid D. Burns, MD is an Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus at the Stanford University Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. His best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, has sold more than five million copies worldwide. Many published research studies have indicated that 65% of individuals with moderate to severe depression who are given a copy of his book improve dramatically within four weeks with no other treatment. Dr. Burns has won many awards for his research and teaching. His weekly Feeling Good Podcasts will hit three million downloads this year. His latest book, Feeling Great, is now listed on Amazon.com and will be published in September 2020. He is also working on a new Feeling Great App that will feature two powerful new mood-changing technologies to show people how to break out of severe and mild mood slumps quickly. About Host, Sucheta KamathSucheta Kamath, is an award-winning speech-language pathologist, a TEDx speaker, a celebrated community leader, and the founder and CEO of ExQ®. As an EdTech entrepreneur, Sucheta has designed ExQ's personalized digital learning curriculum/tool that empowers middle and high school students to develop self-awareness and strategic thinking skills through the mastery of Executive Function and social-emotional competence.Support the show (https://mailchi.mp/7c848462e96f/full-prefrontal-sign-up)
In this episode, we talk to David Burns, author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and The Feeling Good Handbook. David has changed so many people's lives, including mine. Among the topics we cover include: His upcoming book, Feeling Great How to overcome procrastination Why acceptance is paradoxically the greatest change you can make We hope you enjoy this interview with David Burns
This is the fourth in our podcasts series on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions from my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Today, we focus on Mental Filtering and Discounting the Positive. (This will be the last Episode recorded remotely with poor sound quality. We thank you for your perseverance listening to it, and guarantee better sound quality in the future with our new recording equipment.) Mental Filtering, You focus on something(s) negative, like a mistake you made, and ignore or overlook the positives. This is like the drop of ink that discolors the beaker of water. Discounting the Positive(s). this is an even more spectacular mental error. You insist that the positives about yourself or others don't count. In this way, you can maintain a uniformly and totally negative view of yourself, the world, or other people. David and Rhonda discuss the fact that humans can be very biased in our perceptions of things that are emotionally charged. For example, if you are firmly committed to some belief, you might look for evidence that supports your belief, and discount evidence that contradicts your belief. Similarly, if there is someone you strongly admire, you may selectively focus on the positive things they do or say, and discount or dismiss things they do or say that might be quite offensive. And when you're ticked off at somebody, you probably focus on all the things they do or say that turn you off (mental filtering) and discount the positive things that they do or say. For example, when they say something kind or supportive, you might think, "S/he doesn't mean it," or "isn't being genuine. They're just acting fake." In this way, you convince yourself that he or she really is "bad." When you're depressed or anxious, you'll do this to yourself as well, thus intensifying your negative thoughts and feelings. For example, a teenager with extremely intense depression, strong suicidal urges, and anger told me that human beings were inherently selfish, insensitive, and bad. When I asked her how she'd come to this conclusion, she described seeing some kids in her dormitory who were joking in a cruel, insensitive way about girl with depression, and said that if you're looking for her, you can probably find her sitting on the edge of her dormitory window, meaning that she's probably about to jump. She also described seeing a homeless man on her way her therapy session, and said that no one really cared about him. Of course, these observations were at least partially valid, since human beings certainly DO have the capacity for great self-contentedness, insensitivity, and cruelty. But was she involved in Mental Filtering, and focusing only on the negatives? I asked her if she could think of any times in the past several weeks when someone had been cruel or insensitive to her. She couldn't think of a single instance. David and Rhonda provide additional examples, some personal, of Mental Filtering and Discounting the Positive, and suggest techniques that can be helpful when combating these distortions, including Positive Reframing, Examine the Evidence, the Straightforward Technique, and Double Standard Technique. David tells a moving story that he also told on his Tedx talk in Reno, about an elderly Latvian immigrant who made a suicide attempt because she thought she'd never accomplished anything worthwhile or meaningful. In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the next distortion, Jumping to Conclusions. David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD
In today’s show, Carol interviews Jill Bunny, CBT-Fitness Health Coach. We start this show with Jill sharing her background information. What inspired Jill to study kinesiology and then go full-time into fitness in the first place? In the next segment of the show, Jill recalls her life as a competitive fitness athlete. Notwithstanding the glitz and glamour, competitive fitness is a lonely and somewhat “selfish” sport. She shares her big AH-HA moment – after winning a major fitness competition, Jill had no one to celebrate her victory with. This is when she realized that she needed to readjust her priorities and pivot. But life had different plans. Just as Jill was about to make this shift, she was detected with thyroid cancer. In this segment of the show, listeners will learn about the immense mental and emotional challenges that cancer victim’s face on a day-to-day basis. This experience eventually led Jill to CBT, a functional medicine technique that is helping her understand her clients on a psychological level. Other topics discussed in this show include the power of positive affirmation, importance of a structured morning routine, and some powerful mindset coaching techniques. We hope you enjoy this show! Resources Jill’s Instagram Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Carol’s LinkedIn Carol’s Website The So Much More Community
This is the third in our podcasts series on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions from my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Today, we focus on Overgeneralization. There are two common forms of Overgeneralization: You generalize from some specific flaw or failure to your "Self." So, instead of telling yourself that you failed at this or that, you tell yourself that you are "a failure" or "a loser." You generalize from right now to the future, using words like "always" or "never." For example, you may tell yourself, "Trisha (or Jack) rejected me. This always happens! I must be unlovable. I'll be alone forever." Overgeneralization is also one of the most common cognitive distortions, and it causes depression as well as anxiety. I believe it is impossible to feel depressed or hopeless without Overgeneralization. The antidote to Overgeneralization is called "Let's Be Specific." Instead of thinking of your self as a "bad mother" or "bad father," you can focus on the specific thing you did that regret, like shouting at your kids when you were upset. Then you can think of a specific plan to correct this problem, like talking things over with your kids and letting them know that you love them and feel badly that you snapped at them. David and Rhonda also talk about the idea that abstract concepts like "worthless" or "bad" or "worthwhile" or "good" human beings are meaningless. Good and bad thoughts, feelings and behaviors certainly exist, but there is no way to measure or judge the value of a human being. In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the next distortion, Mental Filter and Discounting the Positive. David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD
In this segment of Inner Voice - Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Protect & Care for yourself), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares with you part one of a great conversation with Dr. David Burns, adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy www.feelinggood.com. Dr. Zeine also speaks with Dr. Babak Kateb, a physician scientist and a neuroscientist and the founding chairman of the board of directors & CEO of the Society for Brain Mapping and Therapeutics about how to protect and care for yourself in the Coronavirus epidemic times. www.brainmappingfoundation.org Visit www.FOOJAN.com
This is the second in a series of podcasts by David and Rhonda focusing on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions I first published in my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Today, we focus on All-or-Nothing Thinking. that's where you look at the world in black-or-white categories, as if shades of gray do not exist. For example, if you're not a complete success you may tell yourself that you're a complete failure. All-or-Nothing Thinking is one of the most common cognitive distortions, and it causes or contributes to many common forms of emotional distress, including: perfectionism depression Social anxiety-- performance anxiety public speaking anxiety shyness hopelessness and suicidal urges anger, relationship conflicts, and violent urges habits and addictions and more However, this distortion can be also be helpful to you, and may reflect some of your core values. For example, your perfectionism shows that you have high standards, and won't settle for second-best may motivate you to work hard and do excellent work prevents you from glossing over your failures and mistakes intensifies your emotional life, which may feel like a glorious roller coaster ride, with intense ups (when you do well) and equally intense downs (when you fall short.) So, before you can challenge a negative thought with this, or any distortion, you'll have to decide why in the world you'd want to do that, given all the benefits of your negative thoughts and feelings. One of the possible down sides of All-or-Nothing Thinking is that it simply does not map onto reality. There is little in the universe that is 100% or 0%. Most of the time, or even all of the time, we're somewhere between 0% and !00%. For example, this podcast is not incredibly fantastic, or absolutely horrible. It is somewhere in-between, and will hopefully be of some value to you. While it clearly won't solve ALL of your problems, it may be a useful step forward. We describe a number of example of All-or-Nothing Thinking, including a physician who was trying to diet and ended up binging on a half gallon of ice cream, and a suicidal young woman with incredibly severe depression who was involved in self-mutilation. There are many ways of crushing the negative thoughts that contain All-or-Nothing Thinking, including Thinking in Shades of Gray. Although that might sound rather drab in comparison to the drama of All-or-Nothing Thinking, you may discover that the world becomes far more colorful when you learn to think in shades of gray! In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the next distortion, Overgeneralization. David argues that Overgeneralization is arguably the cause of all depression and much anxiety, and that the first person to recognize and solve this dilemma was the Buddha, 2500 years ago. More on that topic next week! David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD
This is the first in a series of podcasts by David and Rhonda focusing on the best techniques to crush each of the ten cognitive distortions in David’s book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. David and Rhonda discuss the amazing positive feedback that Rhonda received following her two recent podcasts doing live personal work. David emphasizes that being open and genuine about your own flaws and insecurities can often lead to far more meaningful relationships with others. This is a paradox, since we often hide our shortcomings, fearing others will judge and reject us if they see how we really feel, and how flawed we are. David and Rhonda begin the discussion of the Cognitive Distortion Starter Kit with a review the three principles of cognitive therapy: Our positive and negative feelings do NOT result from what happens in our lives, but rather from our thoughts about what’s happening or what happened. Depression and anxiety result from distorted, illogical, misleading thoughts. What you’re telling yourself is simply not true. Depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons. When you change the way you THINK, you can change the way you FEEL. This can usually happen rapidly and without drugs. The first idea goes back at least 2,000 years to the teachings of the Greek Stoic philosophers. Although the idea that our thoughts create all of our feelings is very basic, and enlightening, many people still don’t get it! This even includes lots of therapists who wrongly believe that our feelings result from what’s happening to us! David describes an innovative "Pepper Shaker" game devised by George Collette, one of his colleagues in Philadelphia to make the hospitalized psychiatric patients aware, through personal experience, that their feelings really do result from their thoughts. The game can be done in a group setting, and is entertaining. Rhonda suggested that the therapists who attend David's Tuesday training group at Stanford might enjoy this game as well! There are key differences between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions. Healthy negative feelings, like sadness, remorse, or fear, also result from our thoughts, and not from what is happening to us. However, the negative thoughts that trigger healthy feelings are valid and don’t need to be treated or changed. In contrast, unhealthy negative feelings, like depression, neurotic guilt, or anxiety, always result from distorted negative thoughts. David and Rhonda briefly describe each of the ten cognitive distortions, with examples. They warn listeners that the goal of these podcasts will be to learn how to change your own distorted thoughts, and not someone else’s. Pointing out the distortions in someone else’s thoughts or statements is obnoxious and will nearly always lead to conflict. David and Rhonda do a humorous role-play to illustrate just how incredibly annoying it is when you try to correct someone else’s distortions, or when someone tries to correct your own distorted thoughts! David and Rhonda remind listeners to focus on one negative thought from a Daily Mood Log, like “I’m defective” or “my case is hopeless,” and to remember that the thought will typically contain many distortions, and possibly all ten. This means that there will be lots of techniques—often 20 or more—to help you crush the thought. They also discuss the new idea that you can do Positive Reframing with cognitive distortions as well as negative thoughts and feelings. In the next podcast in this series, David and Rhonda will discuss the TEAM-CBT techniques that can especially helpful for the first distortion, All-or-Nothing Thinking. David D. Burns, MD / Rhonda Barovsky, PsyD
Rhonda and David are joined today by Jeremy Karmel who is working with David on a new Feeling Great app. Rhonda begins by reading several amazing emails from fans whose lives have been changed by the podcasts as well as David’s books, including Jessica, Tim, and Mike. Thank you, everyone, for such kind and thoughtful comments! This great photo of Rhonda is courtesy of Nancy Mueller, a local photographer who kindly took some pics at my home in Los Altos, California. David describes his upcoming book, Feeling Great, which will be released in September of 2020. It will move well beyond his first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, all will incorporate all of the latest hi-speed treatment techniques in TEAM-CBT (aka “Feeling Great Therapy.”) David describes his excitement about the team he is working with to publish his latest book, including Linda Jackson at PESI (the publishing company), and Jenessa Jackson, his editor. Jeremy describes why he approached David to develop a Feeling Great app. As a Stanford student, he was depressed and had to drop out of school for semester. Antidepressants and talk therapy had done nothing for him, so he was feeling hopeless. Then Jeremy discovered one of Dr. Burns’ students, Dr. Matthew May, and recovered in just two weeks, which was mind-blowing. Matt was one of the first practitioners in the world to use the new TEAM-CBT, Jeremy felt a tremendous drive to make these powerful new techniques available to people around the world. David and Rhonda, of course, share this goal! In fact, Rhonda has recently gone to Mexico City as well as India to support the sudden and strong emergence of TEAM-CBT in those countries. Rhonda asks Jeremy many questions about the amazing recovery he experienced in his work with Dr. May, and how he’s been doing since. Then Rhonda, Jeremy, and David address a number of intriguing questions about the new app. For example, there is tremendous evidence from research that David’s first book, Feeling Good, has significant antidepressant effects. In fact, many published studies have confirmed that more than 50% of depressed individuals will recover or improve dramatically within four weeks if you just give them a copy of the book. Is it possible that an app that incorporates all the great methods in Feeling Good, plus all the new techniques in TEAM-CBT, could be even more effective? And if so, would this mean that an electronic app could even outperform human therapists as well as antidepressant medications? David says that this has been his dream for more than 40 years, and he thinks this is a definite possibility. Jeremy agrees, since the app, now in creation, has the potential to be far more powerful and systematic than reading a book or even going to a therapist. Rhonda asks: "Are you trying to put human therapists out of business?" David believes that there will always be a place for human therapists, since the person to person support and connection is invaluable and desperately needed. However, the Feeling Great app can actually be a friend of human therapists, just as his book, Feeling Good, has been, working hand in hand with therapists helping to accelerate the recovery of their patients. In addition, the app can bring rapid help and relief to millions of people worldwide who cannot afford therapy, and those who simply cannot find effective therapy. David emphasizes the goal of having an entirely free version of the app for people without resources. Rhonda asks: "Will you be doing research as well as self-help “treatment” with the new app?" The answer to that is absolutely, yes, and the implications for incredible research into the causes and treatments for depression, anxiety and relationship problems are immense, especially if thousands or even tens of thousands of individuals use the Feeling Great app. For example, David has developed many psychological assessment instruments to help therapists and patients alike, but the costs and time required to develop and validate even a single short test can be substantial. In contrast, one might get more than enough data to evaluate a new instrument in just one day, which is mind-boggling. In addition, every time someone uses the app, we will learn more and more about what works, and what does not. This type of analysis is vitally important, but practically impossible, or at the very least arduous and confusing, when working with human therapists, due to the complexity of what’s happening, and the intense bias of therapists and researchers alike. The computer, by way of contrast, does not mind being wrong and moving in different and more promising directions! Rhonda, Jeremy and David will let all of you know when a beta version of the new app, is available, and hopes that many of you will try it out and let us know what you think! David will also let you know when pre-ordering for his new book, Feeling Great will be available as well! David and Rhonda Thanks for listening to today's podcast! David
Rhonda and David are joined today by Dr. Michael Greenwald, who was in the studio following his recording of last week’s podcast. We address a fascinating question submitted by a podcast fan: Sally asks” “How can I help my depressed husband who is leaving me?” Hello Dr David, My husband is going through severe depression and anxiety. He blames me frequently for all the bad decisions he made, and he says he married the wrong woman. He regrets almost every decision he made and says he made the decision [to marry me] under my pressure. Our marriage of 20 years is almost leading to separation. I don’t want to separate, but I don’t know how I can improve the situation. He doesn’t want to go to any doctor. Do you think if I decide to go to TEAM certified therapist, they can work on me to get him out of his depression? If yes, how many sessions will it take? Sally David, Rhonda and Michael discuss this sad and difficult situation that Sally describes. Feeling loved and cared about is vitally important to nearly all of us, and when an important relationship is threatened, it can be extremely painful. It sounds like Sally's husband may be on the verge of leaving her. David describes a powerful and paradoxical strategy he described in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, that he has often used to help abandoned wives. The approach is the opposite of "chasing," and is based on experimental research on the most effective ways of shaping the behavior of rats! It also sounds like Sally and her husband have some significant difficulties communicating in a loving and supportive way, like nearly all couples who are not getting along, and certainly some couples therapy or consultation might be a useful step. However, the prognosis for couples therapy isn't terribly positive unless both partners are strongly committed to each other, and willing to work on their own problems, as opposed to trying to change or “fix” the other person. We place a strong emphasis on the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, especially the listening skills, when criticized by a patient, family member, colleague, or just about anyone. If Sally committed herself to learning to use these skills—which are NOT easy to learn—she might be able to develop a more loving and satisfying relationship with her husband, whether or not they separate or stay together. David expresses the opinion that her fixation on “helping” or “fixing” him might be misguided, and might actually irritate him and drive him away. Rhonda, Michael and David illustrate David’s “Intimacy Exercise,” which is a way of learning to use the Five Secrets, and they practice with three of the criticisms Sally has heard from her husband: “You pressured me into marrying you.” “You’re to blame for all the bad decisions I’ve made.” “I married the wrong woman.” After each exchange, the person playing Sally’s role receives a grade (A, B, C, etc.) along with a brief analysis of why, followed by role-reversals. These role play demonstrations might be interesting and useful for you, too, because you’ll see how this exercise works, and your eyes will also be opened to just how challenging it can be to respond to a painful criticism in a skillful way, and how mind-blowing it is when you do it right. You will also see that trained mental health professionals often make mistakes when learning these skills, and how you can increase your skills through this type of practice. David emailed Sally with some additional resources that could be helpful to her. Hi Sally, Thank you so much for your question, and for giving us the permission to read and discuss your question on a podcast. We will, however, change your name to protect your identity. For referrals for treatment, you can check the referral page on my website, or go to the website of the Feeling Good Institute. There may be some excellent therapists in your area, too. I would recommend the recent Feeling Good Podcast on “How to Help, and How NOT to Help.” . The idea is that listening is sometimes far more effective and respectful than trying to “help” someone who is angry with you. Also, the podcasts on the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, starting with #65, could be helpful, along with my book, Feeling Good Together. There’s also search function on almost every page of my website, and if you type in “Five Secrets,” you’ll get a wealth of free resources. Your husband might benefit from my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, available on Amazon for less than $10. Research studies indicate that more than 50% of depressed individuals improve substantially within four weeks of being given a copy of this book, with no other treatment. However, the depressed individual must be looking for help, and it’s not clear to me whether the treatment is more your idea, or his idea. You seem to be asking for training in how to treat your husband. Perhaps, instead, you could learn to respond to him more skillfully and effectively using the Five Secrets. Learning how to do psychotherapy requires many years of training, and since he is not asking you for treatment or for help, that plan does not seem likely to be effective, at least based on what I know. In fact, trying to “treat” someone who is clearly annoyed with you runs the danger of creating more tension and anger, but this is not consultation, just general teaching. You would have to consult with a mental health professional for suggestions. Obviously, we cannot treat you or make any meaningful treatment recommendations in this context. But there is no doubt in my mind that there are many things you can do to improve the way you communicate with him and relate to him, if that would interest you. But this would require looking at your own role in the relationship, as well as lots of hard work and practice to learn to use the Five Secrets. Sincerely, David D. Burns, M.D. Thanks for listening to today's podcast! David
Rhonda and David discuss two challenging questions submitted by listeners like you. Question #1: Cindy asks: My suicidal daughter refuses to talk to me! What can I do? Comment: Dear David, I stumbled upon you teaching in another podcast a few months ago. Immediately I was stunned by how much your words echoed in my mind. I have listened to your book three times in Audible and many of your podcasts. You Changed my life!!! I am much more relaxed now and I can sleep!!! I talked about you with my massage therapist and she bought your book for her daughter (who has anxiety attacks) and her niece. Her daughter is an aspiring artist who said that she would buy your book and give them away to teens when she becomes famous. I now ask you to change another life, that of my daughter's. She has been depressed for more than 20 years, suicidal (bought a noose, watches suicide movies, talked about ways to kill herself) and no therapists could help. We went to therapy together this past summer and it only ended that she abruptly canceled and is no longer responding to me by any means: phone, text, card, or email. The last time I saw her was late August and she was very down and had very poor personal hygiene. I have since sent her a loving text at least every other day, I offer to drive to her city (an hour away) to have dinner with her, I sincerely apologized for everything I could think of that I have done wrong since she was a child, I sent gifts to her by mail, I invite her to come for holidays, I ask her cousins to call (she did respond to them). No response to me at all. I am wondering how to communicate with a loved one who just totally shut you off. Always your fan, Cindy Thank you, Cindy. Sorry to hear about your daughter, very concerning. My heart goes out to you. Our own daughter had a rough time as a teenager, too, but now is doing great. I hope things evolve with your daughter, too. This podcast may help: https://feelinggood.com/2019/10/28/164-how-to-help-and-how-not-to-help/ as well as this one: https://feelinggood.com/2019/02/04/126-how-to-communicate-with-someone-who-refuses-to-talk-to-you/ The first podcast highlights common errors in trying to “help” someone who is hurting, and emphasizes how to respond more effectively, using the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. The second podcast illustrates how to get people to open up using one of the advanced secrets called “Multiple Choice Empathy / Multiple Choice Disarming. My book, Feeling Good Together, explains these techniques in detail, with practice exercises, and includes an entire chapter on how to talk to someone who refuses to talk to you. You can learn more on my book page. (https://feelinggood.com/books/). Some support from a mental health professional might also be helpful to you, as these techniques sound simple, but are actually challenging to master. Your daughter might also benefit from my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (https://feelinggood.com/books/). It is not a substitute for treatment from a mental health professional, but research studies indicate that more than 60% of the people who read it improve significantly in just four weeks. It is inexpensive, and I’ve linked to it if you want to take a look. All the best, David Question #2: Lorna asks: How can I deal with my jealousy? Comment: Hi David, I've recently discovered your books and your podcast and CBT has really been helping me in my personal life. I really want to thank you for all the amazing work you do!! The issue I'm having however seems to still really get my moods down and I was wondering if perhaps you could offer some general advice via the podcast. I'm in a great relationship but the ex-girlfriend of my partner has recently moved back to the city where we live and now we are in similar social circles. They were together for a very long time and now I'm really struggling with the prospect of spending time with her. When we all spend time together, it’s actually fine, but afterwards I really struggle with thinking about them together, getting to know her and thinking about her personality and how we compare. I think most people would find this uncomfortable, but it really has triggered a downward spiral for me. My partner and I argued about it and I struggle to let things go that were said in arguments. Do you have any advice on dealing with a situation of an ex-partner being on the scene and perhaps how to not dwell on things that were said during arguments? Thanks, Lorna Hi Lorna, Thanks, might work. What does this mean: “Do you have any advice on dealing with a situation of an ex-partner being on the scene and perhaps how to not dwell on things that were said during arguments?” The rest of the email seems to suggest feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and so forth, as if she is a threat to your current relationship. is this correct? David Hi David, Thanks so much for getting back to me! I don't actually think she is a threat to our relationship, and don't feel that they have feelings anymore for each other, but it just makes me super uncomfortable to think about how long they spent together. I'm always comparing our relationship to what I think their relationship was like in the past. I know I should stop thinking about those things but I really struggle to stop! I know my partner and I are very much in love but I keep having thoughts like “It’s not fair that I have to spend time with her,” or “I feel really guilty because he wants to be friends with her but can't due to how I feel about the situation.” I also feel like he blames me. I was hoping you could shed some light on what you think in general is a good strategy for dealing with situations where an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend of your partner is on the scene and you all have to spend time together. I do have feelings of jealousy and insecurity but I struggle to understand why as I don't believe they want to be together anymore at all. We had a few arguments about it initially where he said things like “you are just angry that I have an ex-girlfriend” or “what's the big deal about it all?” I was so hurt by the way he made my feelings seem petty and trivial. We have both apologized but I keep remembering what he said and how hurt it made me feel. Do you have any advice on letting go of past arguments when the 'problematic situation' (ex-girlfriend being around) is still on-going? Thank you so much! Lorna David and Rhonda discuss this question, and include David’s story in Intimate Connections as a medical student when David had a broken jaw and the ex-boyfriend of Judy, the girl he was living with in Palo Alto, charged into his house with a tough-looking friend and demanded to see Judy. David called the police, and the two fellows left and set, "we're going to get you!" David was terrified, since his jaw was still broken, and got some jaw-dropping advice the advice from his buddy, Sergio. You will be surprised to hear about what happened next! In addition to learning to "let go" of jealousy, Rhonda and David discuss many additional strategies for dealing with jealousy, including: Use of Self-Disclosure Positive Reframing: do you really want to give up your jealousy and vigilance? Cost-Benefit Analysis: Is it worth the hassle of constantly being suspicious, as opposed to simply deciding to trust and let the chips fall here they may? Downward Arrow: What are you the most afraid of? Love Addiction Fear of Rejection Fear of Being Alone Overcoming the fear of being alone and the “need” for this man’s love, or any man’s love, is discussed in the first section of Intimate Connections. Exposure: You could fantasize the two of them together, making yourself as anxious and jealous as possible, until the feelings diminish and disappear. Self-Monitoring: Counting your thoughts about them on a wrist counter or cell phone for four weeks. David describes his work with an intensely jealous law student after his girlfriend broke up with him so she could date another fellow in his class. Understand the frequent ineffectiveness of apologizing, and why it doesn’t work! This is really important. David describes a powerful vignette about a troubled couple, where “I’m sorry” was CLEARLY a way of saying “shut up, I don’t want to feel about how hurt and angry you feel.” The Five Secrets of Effective Communication are a vastly more effective way of dealing with negative feelings. David and Rhonda contrast effective vs. dysfunctional “apologizing.” While it can be important to say "I'm sorry," this formulaic response is usually insufficient because it often ends the conversation but the difficult or hurtful feelings remain. What's important to add is talking about the other person's feelings, thoughts and experiences of the conflict and sharing your own thoughts and feelings. When you say, "I'm sorry," it's sometimes insufficient because it often ends the conversation, but the difficult or hurtful feelings remain. What's important to add is talking about the other person's feelings, thoughts and experiences of the conflict and sharing yours. After David emailed Lorna with the outline for the podcast, Lorna replied: Hi David, Thank you sounds great! Can’t wait to listen to the episode. I think I will definitely order your book - I think it’s the only one missing for me to have the complete collection. Thanks again! Lorna Thanks for listening today! By the way, if you are looking for CE credits or training in TEAM-CBT, my upcoming workshop on therapeutic resistance on February 9, 2020 will be a good one. You'll learn how to use the techniques described in today's podcast. See below for details and links! David
Happy Thanksgiving if you live in the United States! This is my favorite holiday, because it means just hanging out with the people you love, eating some wonderful food together, and doing simple things like a family hike, without the commercialism and "push" of some of the other holidays. I wish the very best to you and yours, too! Today, Rhonda could not join us due to Yom Kippur, the highest Jewish holy day. So we will record three podcasts with my wonderful neighbor, Dave Fribush, as host. In addition, we are joined by Michael Simpson, who flew out from New York to attend my Empathy workshop two days ago. He will also join the Tuesday group at Stanford tonight. Michael is doing a massive upgrade / fast lift of my website, www.feelinggood.com, which will likely be published by the time you read this. Let us know what you think about the new "look." Dave Fribush, Michael and I answer many thought-provoking questions submitted by listeners like you! 1. How can I overcome my fear of blushing? Hi David, Hopefully this reaches you well. I am dealing with Erythrophobia (the fear of blushing) and have been having issues with going out with friends, being in public, in work meetings, etc. The weird part is that I don't even get red, but the visualization in my head is so vivid sometimes (Kool-Aid man) that I believe it. Sometimes, if I think about it long enough (like an internal panic attack for 20+min), I get kind of red. . . . Currently, I am trying to just break this habit and I have been reading your book When Panic Attacks and it has been pretty good at helping me. I have been facing my fears and going out into public and hanging out with friends; I'm kind of anxious on the inside of getting red all of sudden, which puts me on edge. I look in the mirror and see that I am not red, but it’s been hard to train my brain to believe it. I started reading your book five days ago and it has helped a lot already. Since then, I have been able to accept I don't mind being occasionally red or nervous and I'm fairly confident, but I struggle to accept the idea of being perpetually red? Part of me wants to accept the idea that "Eff-it! If I'm red, I'm red! That's who I am,” but another part of me knows that it's not true; occasionally I might blush but it’s not the norm. Please let me know if you have any advice. I think this might be a great podcast topic because I know a lot of people with Rosacea deal with anxiety and I'm sure that would help a lot of others. Best, Alex Hi Alex, I have a awesome podcast on the fear of blushing! You might find it helpful (Podcast #88, published on May 14, 2018.) I cannot do therapy through this medium, so this is just general teaching, but exposure / self-disclosure in one method you could use. You could tell 5 to 10 strangers every day something like this: “Could I speak to you for a moment? I’ve had the fear of blushing almost all of my life, and I’ve been hiding it from everybody out of shame. But today, I’ve decided to stop hiding and being ashamed, so I’ve decided to tell people, and that's why I'm telling you.” You’ll find tons of additional ideas in the podcast and in one of my books, like the one you’re reading, When Panic Attacks, as well as The Feeling Good Handbook. Actually, blushing is NEVER a problem. The only problem is the shame. Without the shame, the blushing, like shyness, can be an asset, making you more human and more appealing. Also, on my Sunday hike yesterday, we were joined by a young Stanford dermatologist who showed us some photos and videos of a new laser treatment for rosacea, which is similar to blushing. Apparently, the treatment is quite effective. Thanks, David 2. How can you get over a broken heart? Hi David, First of all, I would like to thank you from my bottom of my heart for the wonderful jobs you are doing. I have a question regarding aftermath of divorce and searched feelinggood.com for any post but I couldn't find any. My best friend is going through divorce process and he cannot forget the good memories he had with this wife. He still loves her so much and would like to continue their relationship but she's not interested in that. They have been separated for 4 years and he tried his best to bring her back. How can I help him move forward? Those good memories are haunting him? Thanks, Didi Hi Didi, Thanks for your terrific question, as most of us were rejected by someone we loved at some point in our lives. You’re in luck! We just recorded a podcast on how to help a friend or loved one who’s hurting, and by the time you read this, it will have been published. It's Podcast #164 on “How to HELP, and how NOT to Help!” It was published on October 28, 2019. You can find the link on the list of all of the published podcasts on my website. I would definitely listen before trying to "help" your friend! Resources for your friend might include the book I wrote on this topic, which is called Intimate Connections. One of the themes is that rejection could never upset a human being—only distorted thoughts about being rejected. This book can be helpful to the many people who have been divorced, or who have broken up with someone they loved, and are having trouble getting back into the dating game effectively, as well as the many people who are having trouble getting into the dating game for the first time. Another great resource for him would be the chapter on the Love Addiction in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It describes a woman who had just been rejected by her husband, who was having an affair with his secretary, and she was telling herself that she couldn’t be happy without his love. The story had an amazing outcome, and might be very helpful for your friend. Of course, motivation is incredibly important. Your friend might not want to be “cured,” so to speak, since his depression and thoughts about his Ex keep the relationship alive in his mind, and also give him an excuse to avoid dating and developing new relationships, which can be anxiety-provoking and effortful for just about anybody! David 3. How would you treat someone with anorexia nervosa? This question was submitted by our friend, Professor Mark Noble, on behalf of one of his colleagues at the University of Rochester. I, David, explain what anorexia is, and describe my experience with an anorexia patient I treated in Philadelphia when she was discharged from the inpatient unit. I emphasize the need for the TEAM-CBT technique called the Gentle Ultimatum, since the patient didn't want o maintain her weight at a safe level, and just wanted to talk talk talk during sessions without doing any psychotherapy homework. I also describe the “Coercive Therapy” also called Family Therapy for anorexia, developed at the Maudsley in London, and we talk about how the same principle—getting the parents to work together on the same team, with firmness, intense mutual support, and compassionate insistence—works for almost any problem children are having. However, this requires the parents to support one another, and work together as a strong and loving team, and many parents who are in conflict will find it difficult to do this, since the urge to argue and fight can be so powerful. Then the parents sacrifice the well-being and happiness of their children in the name of ongoing war (blame, fighting, sticking up for “truth,” and so forth). Dave F. and Michael Simpson ask why this approach of getting parents to work together, can be so incredibly powerful and helpful to children. David
In today's podcast, David and Rhonda interview Dr. David Hanscom, a renowned and controversial spine surgeon who gave up a large and lucrative surgical practice in favor of helping and educating people struggling with back pain, directing them on the path to recovery without surgery or drugs. Dr. Hanscom describes his personal journey and recovery from panic, pain, and other disabling somatic symptoms when he read Dr. Burns' book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, and began doing the written triple column technique to challenge his own negative thoughts and overcome his own feelings of depression, panic, hopelessness, and anger. He also began to study alarming research reports indicating that many of the surgical procedures were no more effective than placebos; and even worse, he could see that back surgery often had damaging and even disabling and horrific effects on patients. And he also discovered that most of the patients seeking surgery for back pain could be helped simply through talk therapy and support, by focusing on the problems in their lives, rather than simply focusing on pain and pills. Dr. Burns supports Dr. Hanscom's premise, that even physical pain can have powerful psychological causes and cures. Dr. Burns briefly summarizes his own research on hospitalized inpatients with significant emotional problems as well as chronic pain. He wanted to answer the question of why physical pain and negative feelings so often go hand-in-hand. To find out, he studied changes in negative feelings, like depression, anxiety and anger, as well as the intensity of pain, in more than 100 patients attending a 90 minute cognitive therapy group. He saw that there were often massive shifts in negative feelings, like depression, anxiety, and anger, as well as the severity of physical pain, during the groups. He analyzed the data with sophisticated statistical modeling techniques to evaluate two competing theories about why pain and negative feelings go hand-in-hand. Physical pain could cause negative feelings, like depression, anxiety and anger. This seems plausible, since physical pain is so debilitating, and just plain awful. Negative feelings could have a causal effect on physical pain. The analyses indicated that there were causal effects in both directions, but the most powerful effect, by far, was the effect of negative emotions on physical pain. In fact, the analyses indicated that, on average, half of the physical pain these patients were experiencing, on average, was the direct result of their negative emotions. This means that if you're in pain, and you're emotionally upset, which would be totally understandable, that a great deal of the pain you are feeling is the result of a magnification of the pain by your negative emotions. There is a positive implication of this finding that supports what Dr. Hansom is saying--namely, that if you are in pain, including chronic pain, and you are willing to overcome your negative feelings and deal with the problems in your life, there is a good chance that your pain will improve substantially. Some people, as David saw in the groups, will experience a total elimination of pain--something he often observed within the group. It is also possible that you will experience a reduction of your pain, but not a complete elimination. And it is possible that your pain will not improve when your negative feelings disappear--but at least you won't have to struggle with pain and depression! So he has now devoted his life to making people, as well as his surgical colleagues, aware of the realities vs. the myths of back surgery. To learn more, visit his website, or pick up a copy of his terrific book, Back in Control. The book includes a section on your personal roadmap out of pain. Rhonda and I are incredibly grateful to Dr. Hanscom for this illuminating, challenging, and profoundly personal interview. We hope you enjoy it! And if you've been struggling with any kind of chronic or debilitating pain, we hope you will find some hope, as well as a drug-free path to recovery! David D. Burns, M.D. & Rhonda Barovsky, Psy.D.
Do you have negative thinking patterns? Today we are talking about negative thinking patterns / mental error or also called cognitive distrotions. Something that I have been taking about before I believe in the book, that was also covered to some degree in his idea.ted.com article: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. I guess I was going through a summary then but I don't really remember. Anyway, it's really important to know these cognitive distortions just so that you know if you have them or not and so that you are able to help somebody else you know, where you have noticed that this person is thinking in such ways! They are really common unfortunately!…I hope you are finding some value in this episode! - This episode of the Self Development with Tactics / SDWT podcast is all about ‘5 irrational thinking patterns that could be dragging you down — and how to start challenging them' an article from the ideas.ted.com website and Joan Rosenberg from March the twelfth 2019 - https://ideas.ted.com/5-irrational-thinking-patterns-that-could-be-dragging-you-down-and-how-to-start-challenging-them/ - I as always hope that you get a lot out of that! - Love you ➠Thank you for being with me! If you liked this episode of your daily self development kick please subscribe and like. Stay tuned for upcoming self development videos aaaaand comment down below or hit me up on the social media platform you like the most. Wish you the best, health wealth and happiness ❤️ Who I am? I am Christopher Walch a 18 year old graphic design student from austria, really interested in marketing self Development and having success in every aspect of life❤️However I am not only interested in having the best for me! I want you to be at your peak as well. Giving value to the people out here is what I want and what I am able to do here! Thank you. Self Development with Tactics/Christopher Walch on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/walchchristopher Self Development with Tactics'/Christopher Walch's Podcast: https://www.anchor.fm/selfdevelopment_wt/ Self Development with Tactics/Christopher Walch on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SelfTactics Self Development with Tactics/Christopher Walch on Facebook: www.facebook.com/Selfdevelopment-With-Tactics Self Development with Tactics on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/we-selfdevelopment Self Development with Tactics/Christopher Walch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6ms9lq2XRrgdy0rOrMYVUQ Self Development With Tactics/Christopher Walch on Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Christopher-Walch-SDWT-Podcast LOVE YOU ALL!! ❤️
In this episode we are taking some time to focus on the mental and overall health of editors. Laura Di Vilioa registered psychotherapist and Zack Arnold, ACE offer us a wealth of information on how we can live happier and more productive lives both in and out of the edit suite. Laura has been working as a psychotherapist for over 25 years and her experience has taught her how best to help clients gain insight, healing and inspiration. She uses a relational approach to depth-oriented psychotherapy which facilitates deep, lasting change. Laura is based in Toronto, Ontario. Zack Arnold, ACE is an award-winning Hollywood film and television editor based in LA. You can see his work on Cobra Kai, Empire, Burn Notice, Shooter and Glee, just to name a few. He is also a documentary director, and creator of the Optimize Yourself program and podcast. He helps editors work smarter and not harder so they can do the best creative work they're capable of...without sacrificing their sanity in the process. Resources from Laura: Apps to help with depression and anxiety SuperBetter & SuperBetter at Work were developed by a game designer Jane McGonigal to help with her concussion symptoms. She uses games to improve psychological well- being. See her Ted Talk. She also has a book by the same name. Headspace meditation app that makes meditating easy. They provide really good meditation instructions as well as meditations that are as short as 1 minute. Happify claims that its games can help increase your happiness and reduce stress while teaching you life-changing habits. Sanvello provides space for you to track your moods, health, and habits, offering relaxation techniques and mindfulness exercises tailored to your specific needs. It also offers curated audio exercises to deploy if you are having a panic attack. Worry Watch helps you track your mental state over time by asking you first to write down the cause of your stress, and later asks you to return to the app to reflect on the worry and note whether the ultimate outcome was good or bad. TalkSpace matches users with licensed therapists in their area almost instantly. Brain.fm In its own words, the goal of Brain.fm, an app developed in consultation with neuroscientists, is “unlocking music's potential to influence cognitive states.” Books for dealing with anxiety and depression Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns Mind Over Mood, Second Edition: Change How you feel by changing the way you think. by Dennis Greenberger Hardcore Self Help: F**k Anxiety Paperback – Jul 7 2015 by Robert Duff Ph.D. Books for dealing with Work Drama: The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person Can Create Extraordinary Change by Adam Braun The No A**hole Rule by Robert l. Sutton Bossypants by Tina Fey Websites School of Life. The School of Life is a global organization helping people lead more fulfilled lives. A resource for helping people understand themselves, for improving relationships, careers and social lives. They do this through films, workshops, books and gifts - as well as through a warm and supportive community which you can connect to on their app. Resources from Zack: Ultimate Guide to Optimizing Your Creativity (And Avoiding Burnout) Optimixe Yourself Podcast A special thanks goes to Bryan Atkinson, James Vandewater, Katie Chipperfield, Krysia Szyszlo, Alison Dowler and Jane MacRae. Hosted, Produced and Edited by Sarah Taylor Main Title Sound Design by Jane Tattersall ADR Recording by Andrea Rusch Mixed and Mastered by Tony Bao Original Music by Chad Blain Sponsor Narration by Paul Winestock
In this segment of Inner Voice - Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Feeling Good & Great), Dr. Foojan Zeine talks to Dr. David Burns, an Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus at the Stanford University Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, and the author of best-selling book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Dr. Foojan also brings you the latest research on the grief process of loosing your close friend.
This episode is brought to you by Skillshare: Start learning on Skillshare today with 2 free months at skillshare.com/impacttheory Read more at https://impacttheory.libsyn.com/#JyqUkXSsBxAb2vAA.99 Tom answers questions from the community. To have your question answered, send an email to ama@impacttheory.com with the subject line “AMA Question” SHOWNOTES: How Tom toughened up and how you can too (his step by step process) [00:11] What to do when you’re not sure about what your goals should be [6:35] What to do if you’re experiencing loneliness and you’re not excited about what you’re doing [11:58] Should you stick it out in your current field or change it up and try something new? [15:01] How to pursue your passion when it’s costing you money [20:20] How to find a career path when you’re 30 and you feel lost [26:01] What to do if you have Approval Addiction [31:19] What to do if you’re not content with your job [35:25] How to get experience when nobody wants to take a bet on you [37:45] How to follow through on your goals by learning how to turn your wants into burning needs [41:01] PEOPLE MENTIONED: Wim Hof http://bit.ly/2WJdaTY [3:30] Kevin Kelly http://bit.ly/2I8jss0 [7:21] Daniel Amen http://bit.ly/2CLnDXp [32:30] BOOKS MENTIONED: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy https://amzn.to/2HUFwHm [34:37]
This episode of AMA is brought to you by: Butcherbox. Use the discount code: "TOM" at butcherbox.com to get 20$ off and FREE GROUND BEEF FOR LIFE Tom answers questions from the community To have your question answered, email us at ama@impacttheory.com with the subject, “AMA Question” SHOWNOTES Should you let your end goal fuel you or the enjoyment of what you do from day to day? [2:04] How to map out your skill acquisition and value yourself for improvement so that you succeed faster [4:14] Who are some people that influenced Tom’s thinking and can help you develop a growth mindset? [5:19] How to find joy in the things you do each day [8:08] Don’t value yourself for the grind [10:29] Great advice for someone feeling depressed, living at home at 30 and looking for a path in life [10:47] What to do if you suffer from “approval addiction” [16:02] How to “pattern interrupt” yourself [17:26] Why Tom parks his car backwards in the street [18:06] Should you stay in your field or not? [20:06] What to do If you’re in the job market vs. if you’re thinking about getting a degree [23:41] How to follow through on what you say you’re going to do [25:49] “Desire is a buildable muscle” here’s how to start [26:51] How to change virtually everything in your life and get whatever you want [28:33] PEOPLE MENTIONED Tony Robbins https://bit.ly/2FXR1gu [5:57] Lisa Bilyeu (Women of Impact) https://bit.ly/2wD7QGh [7:19] The Beatles [13:32] Daniel Amen https://bit.ly/2UWZ3tL [17:12] BOOKS MENTIONED Mindset by Carol Dweck https://amzn.to/2CHIpaq [6:43] Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink https://amzn.to/2CFsY2y [6:56] GRIT by Angela Duckworth https://amzn.to/2usu0dy [7:02] The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday https://amzn.to/2WkbMa6 [7:08] Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy https://amzn.to/2usurVe [19:29]
Dr. David Burns joins us in this episode to talk about how to change your perspective. Dr. Burns is a pioneer in the field of cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, and the author of best-selling books on the topic, including "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" and "The Feeling Good Handbook." We'll also hear from photographer Tyson Wheatley on five steps to taking better pictures. And Alice and Melissa discuss two books that changed how they see the world. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Staying balanced and healthy doing web design is our topic on DC this week! We'll share routines and tips that help us stay sane as web designers. Hosts Present: David Blackmon - Aspen Grove Studios / FB / @aspengrovellc Cory Jenkins - Aspen Grove Studios / FB / @aspengrovellc Josh Hall - JoshHall.co / FB Sarah Oates - Endure Web Studios / FB / @endureweb Nathan B. Weller – Elegant Themes / FB / @elegantthemes Resources Mentioned: Iris - eye protection Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams - audiobook The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change - audiobook Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy - audiobook Blue Light From Devices May Cause Blindness (New Study) - The Broccoli Roast podcast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI_V3GiyYb8&t=196s
In this podcast, David and Fabrice answer five challenging questions submitted by listeners: Galina asks whether we always have to face our fears? Isn't it okay to be anxious sometimes? Courtney asks how to find the supplemental written materials, tests, and diagrams if you have purchased the eBook or audio-book copy of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Carlos asks about the best treatment for smoking cessation. During the discussion, Fabrice asks if Paradoxical Agenda Setting is important for therapists using hypnotherapy. Avi asks whether humans have a dark side, with dark negative motives that sometimes compete with positive, loving motives. And if so, how do therapists help patients deal with their own negative motives? Ben asks what to do if you're very anxious but simply can't pinpoint your negative thoughts.
The way that you think creates the way you feel. If you have great thoughts then no problem, but if your thoughts are a little distorted, then...look out! Wouldn’t it be great if there were an easy way to look at your thoughts...and change them? As it turns out - there is! In today’s conversation we are going to show you how to identify the kinds of thoughts that lead to depression, anxiety, shame, anger, and self-doubt - and talk about the process that you can go through to eliminate those thoughts for good. Our guest is Dr. David Burns, author of the acclaimed bestseller Feeling Good and one of the leading popularizers of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). He is also the creator of TEAM therapy, which takes CBT to the next level. Today, David Burns and I are tackling the topic of “cognitive distortions” - the messed-up thinking that can get you stuck in negative emotions. By the end of today’s episode you’ll not only be able to spot the times when your thinking gets distorted, but you’ll know what to do about it so that you can “feel good”. If you want to listen to our first episode together, where David Burns and I spoke about how to apply his work in relationships (based on his book Feeling Good Together), here is a link to Episode 98: How to Stop Being a Victim - Feeling Good Together - with David Burns And, as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Resources: Check out Dr. David Burns's website Read David’s classic books, Feeling Good or When Panic Attacks FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide www.neilsattin.com/feelinggood2 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with David Burns Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host Neil Sattin. On today's show, we're going to cover ways that your thinking can be distorted. And, by being distorted can impact the way you feel, the way you behave, the way you interact with other people, and basically get in the way of you being an effectively functioning human being. Neil Sattin: I'm talking about cognitive distortions and they've been mentioned a little bit on the show before, but I wanted to take this opportunity to dive deeply into the ways that our thinking can just be messed up. From that messed upness - and no that is not a technical term - comes all sorts of problems. Neil Sattin: From today's show, what my hope is for you is that you understand these things well enough so that you can spot them happening in your own thinking and perhaps in the thinking and reasoning of those around you. We're going to talk about effective strategies for changing the pattern. Neil Sattin: In order to do that, we have with us today a fortunate return visit from Dr. David Burns who was on the show back in episode 98 where we talked about how to stop being a victim in your relationship. This was an episode that was all based on David's work in a book called Feeling Good Together. Neil Sattin: If you're interested in hearing that, you can go to neilsattin.com/feelinggood. What I wanted to talk about today relates to some of the pioneering work that David did in popularizing cognitive behavioral therapy primarily through his book Feeling Good which has sold millions of copies all over the world and has been prescribed and shown to actually help people with depression simply by reading the book and going through the exercises. Neil Sattin: I'm very excited to have David with us today, we're going to talk about cognitive distortions, we're probably going to touch on TEAM therapy which is his latest evolution that's attacking some of the problems with cognitive behavioral therapy. And hear about some of the amazing results that that's getting and get some insight into how that even works. Neil Sattin: Without any further ado, let us dive right in. David Burns, thank you so much for joining us again here on Relationship Alive. David Burns: Thanks Neil, I'm absolutely delighted to be on your podcast for two reasons. First, I think you're a tremendous host. You know your stuff both technically and you know my background, you do your homework, that's very flattering to me being interviewed, but also you seem to exude a lot of warmth and integrity, just a pleasure to hang out with you a little bit today and your many, many listeners. Neil Sattin: Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate your saying that. This stuff is important to me. I'm hoping that this podcast makes a big difference in the world and the way that we do that is through being able to feature amazing work like what you do. I don't want to forget to mention that you also have your own podcast, the Feeling Good Podcast that has amazing insight into the work that you're doing. Neil Sattin: In fact, you record sessions with people so people can actually hear you working with clients and then explaining how you did what you did and also getting direct feedback from the people that you're working with. That's a fascinating show and how many episodes have you put out at this point? David Burns: I think Fabrice and I are up to roughly 60, in the range of 60. One really neat bit of feedback we're getting is that a lot of therapists now are requiring their patients to listen to the Feeling Good podcasts. There's been a lot of research on my book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and studies have shown that if you just hand the book to someone with moderate to severe depression, 60% of them ... 65% of them will improve dramatically within four weeks. David Burns: That's really, really good news. It's called bibliotherapy or reading therapy, but now we're getting this ... I'm getting the same kind of feedback from people who are listening to the podcasts and saying that just listening to the Feeling Good Podcast had a dramatic effect on their depression or their obsessive compulsive disorder or whatever is bothering them. I'm hoping that that trend will continue. Neil Sattin: Yeah, someone's going to have to study podcastio-therapy. David Burns: Yeah, right. You may be having the same thing Neil on your relationship broadcast from people with troubled relationships following the information and the techniques you're providing and perhaps experiencing genuine improvement in their relationships, greater intimacy and love. Neil Sattin: Absolutely. I'm getting that kind of feedback all the time from listeners and I also hear that therapists, particularly couples therapists are having their clients listen to the show and even sometimes prescribing specific episodes for them to listen to. It feels really good to be able to be an adjunct part of people's progress and therapy. David Burns: Congrats. That's great. That's a real credit to the quality of what you're offering. Neil Sattin: Thank you. Thank you. Well, let's dive in. Enough kudos although it does feel really good, though I guess that doesn't surprise me considering you're the author of Feeling Good. Quick point of clarification. Is it the just handing of the Feeling Good book that has a 60 to 65% improvement rate or did the people actually have to read some of it to get that? David Burns: All they have to do is touch it. The improvement comes through osmosis and many of those who have read it have gotten worse. They don't have good data on that in the studies. It's people coming to a medical center for the treatment of depression and in the original studies, they said that they had to be on a waiting list for four weeks and during the four weeks, read this book. David Burns: Then they continued to test them every week with various depression tests and half the patients went to some kind of control group who were on a waiting list control for four weeks or they gave them some other book to read like Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning and in all of the studies, the patients who were given a copy of Feeling Good, two thirds of them had improved so much within four weeks that they didn't need to have treatment anymore at the medical center. David Burns: They never got antidepressants or psychotherapy. Then they've done follow up, up to two year follow up studies on these patients as well. For the most part, they've continued to do well or even improve more and have not had significant relapses. The alternative groups who got Victor Frankl's book did not show significant improvement or people on waiting list control. David Burns: They were pretty well done studies sponsored by research from ... sponsored by National Institute of Mental Health and other research groups. Forrest Scogin is a clinical psychologist at University of Alabama and he pioneered a lot of these studies, but there have been probably at least a dozen replications of that finding that have been published now with teenagers, with elderly people and with people in between. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I want to just say, your book despite having been published a little while ago now is eminently readable and I did read it a while ago. In fact, I think it was one of the first "self-help books" that I stumbled across probably around when I was graduating from college. In sitting down and revisiting it in preparation for our conversation today, I was just struck by how personable, for a book that's about cognitive behavioral therapy which is something that I think just calling it that probably turns a lot of people off. David Burns: You bet. Neil Sattin: The truth is that reading it through, it just makes so much sense and I love how you bring humor into the subject and in many ways talk about yourself as an author in some of the quizzes around the kind of thoughts that undermine our self-esteem. Anyway, I definitely recommend it. Neil Sattin: If you're not one of the millions of people who have already read it, you should pick it up and if you are, I would suggest picking it up again to just glean again what more is there. We're going to talk about one of the central topics in the book which is how our thinking affects the way we feel. Neil Sattin: Maybe we just start there because that was one place where I even in upon revisiting, I got a little confused and in the past, that's made total sense to me. Yeah of course, I make something mean something and that gives me an emotional response to it which ironically makes me think of Victor Frankl's work. Neil Sattin: At the same time, I know that we have feelings that just our bodies kick in with emotional responses in a split second when something happens. That seems to precede thought. How do you parse that apart in a way that makes sense? David Burns: Well, the basis of cognitive therapy and we've moved on to something new called TEAM therapy or TEAM CBT, but I think the basis of cognitive therapy which as far as it goes it's still pure gold goes back to the Buddha 2,500 years ago and to the Greek philosophers like Epictetus 2,000 years ago that humans are disturbed not by things, but by the views we take of them that you have to interpret an event in a particular way before you can have an emotional reaction to it. David Burns: This thought is so basic that our thoughts create all of our moods. We create our emotional reality at every moment of every day by the way, we interpret things, but that's such a basic idea that many people can't get it or they don't believe it. I had an example of this at my workshop in the east coast recently - I was in a hotel. David Burns: I've had many afflictions myself in my life. I love to treat people with depression or anxiety because whatever they have I could say, "Oh, I've been there myself." I can show you the way out of the woods, but when I was little, I had the fear of heights and then I got over it completely as a teenager through a high school teacher who had me stand on the top of a tall ladder until my fear disappeared and took about 15 minutes and it was dramatically effective. David Burns: Suddenly, my anxiety went from 100 to zero and I was free, but it crept back in because I stopped going up on heights not out avoidance, just I had no reason to and then suddenly I realized it had returned. I was on a hotel on one of these glass elevators and I was going up to the 14th floor and I was looking down into the elevator and I had no emotional reaction whatsoever and it was because I was telling myself and this was automatic I guess, but you're safe. David Burns: However, if there hadn't been that glass there and it would have been the same elevator going up and looking out, I would have been paralyzed with fear and terror and it would have been a total body experience that I can feel in my whole body this extreme terror. That's the first idea that you can't have an emotional reaction without having some kind of thought or interpretation. David Burns: You feel the way you think - your thoughts create all of your moods. After Feeling Good came out, I got a letter from a therapist in Philadelphia. He was a student therapist at the Philadelphia Marriage Counsel I believe and he said he had read my book Feeling Good: How Your Thoughts Create All of Your Moods. David Burns: He said, "Well, that's a great idea, but how can it be true? If you're on a railroad track with a train coming and you're about to get killed, you're going to feel terrified. You don't have to put a thought in your mind, it's just an automatic reaction." He said, "I don't believe your claim that only your thoughts can create your moods." David Burns: I got that letter and I started thinking, I said, "Gosh, what he's saying is so obvious, how could I have missed that when I wrote that book?" I felt embarrassed and ashamed. A couple days after I got that letter, I was in a taxi coming home from the airport and at a certain place on River Road, you go over this railroad track. David Burns: I looked down the railroad track, I saw there was a car driving on the railroad track at about two miles an hour. Bumpety-bumpety-bump. I looked then in the other direction and this is ... Freight trains come through here, they never stop, they come at 65 miles an hour. I saw one about a mile and a half in the other direction. David Burns: I said, "Man, that guy is going to get smashed by the train." I told the taxi driver, "Stop, I got to try to get that guy off the railroad tracks." I ran up and knocked on the window and he rolled down the window and there's this older man there and he said, "Can you please direct me to City Line Avenue?" David Burns: I said, "City Line Avenue is 10 miles in the other direction, but you're on the railroad tracks and there's a train coming. You've got to back up. Back up to get to the road." Because he was beyond the road, where you know how they have a pile of rocks at the railroad tracks, that's where he was and I said, "Back up, I'm going to get you off the railroad tracks." David Burns: He backed up and he kept ... When he got to the road, I said, "Now turn, turn your car." Finally I had them positioned to where just the nose of the car, the front part of the car was over the tracks and I was standing in front of it. Now the train was about maybe 20 seconds from impact and they had their whistle on. David Burns: I was waving my hands like, "Back up, back up. Just back up five feet and it will save you." Instead, the guy started creeping forward very slowly. Neil Sattin: Oh no. David Burns: The train smashed into him at the side of his car at about 60 miles an hour. Neil Sattin: Oh my goodness. David Burns: Actually ripped the car in half. The front compartment was thrown about 30 feet from the tracks. They had their brakes on, the train was skidding to a stop and I ran over again to the driver's compartment and looked in, it was all smashed windows and I thought I'd see a decapitated corpse, but it hit probably an inch behind his head and it hit so fast it had just cut the car in half and he didn't seem to be that injured or anything. David Burns: He looked at me and smiled and said, "Which way exactly did you say now to City Line Avenue?" I said, "You got to be kidding me." I said, "You were just hit by a train." He said, "I was not." He says, "That's ridiculous." I said, "Oh yeah, what happened to the windows of your car?" David Burns: Then he looked and he noticed all the windows were smashed and there was glass all over. Then he says, "Gosh, it looks like somebody broke my windows." I said, "Look, where's the back seat? Where's the back half of your car?" He turned around and he saw the back half of his car was missing. David Burns: He looked at me and he says, "I think you're right. Half of my car seems to have disappeared." He says, "Where is this train?" I said, "Look, it's right there, it's 20 feet from here." Now the conductors were rushing up and the engineers and he looked at me and he says, "This is great." David Burns: I said, "Why is that? Why is this great?" He says, "Well, maybe I can sue." I said, "You'll be lucky if they don't sue you. You were driving down the railroad tracks." I couldn't understand it and at this point, the police cars came, the ambulance, they put him in an ambulance, I gave my story to the police, he looked just fine and they took him to the Bryn Mawr Hospital. David Burns: I was just scratching my head and I got in the taxi, it was just a mile from home, the taxi driver took me the rest of the way home. I was saying, "What in the heck happened?" The next day I was jogging around that same corner, of course, there was all this litter from the car or broken pieces of metal and glass all over the place and there was a younger guy maybe 50 years old or something like that going through the rubble. David Burns: I stopped there and asked him who he was and he says, "My father was almost killed by a train here yesterday and somebody saved his life and I was just checking out the scene." I said, "Well, that was me actually." I said, "I didn't understand it - he was driving down the railroad track and if I hadn't gotten there, I think he would have been killed." David Burns: I said, "Why was he driving down the railroad track?" He says, "Well, my father has had Alzheimer's disease and he lost his driver's license 10 years ago, but he forgot and after dinner, he snuck out. He grabbed the keys and snuck out, decided to take the car for a drive." Here is the same situation, a train about to kill somebody on a railroad track about to smash into you and I had the thought this guy is in danger he could be killed. David Burns: I was experiencing 100% terror and anxiety and fear, but his thought was different. His thought was, "This is great. I might be able to sue and get a great deal of money." Therefore he was feeling joy and euphoria. Same situation, different thoughts and radically different emotions. David Burns: That's what I mean and that's what the Buddha meant 2,500 years ago when we say that only your thoughts can create your emotions. It's not what happens to you, but the way you think about it that creates every positive and negative emotion. Neil Sattin: Did you ever write back to that person who wrote you? About that train - to tell him what had happened? David Burns: I don't remember it because this was way back in 1980 shortly after the book came out. I probably did because in those days, I was so excited to get a fan letter. I never had any idea that the book would become popular, it didn't hit the best-seller list until eight years after it was published because the publishers wouldn't support it with any marketing or advertising because they thought no one would ever want to read a book on depression. David Burns: When I got a letter in the days before email, I would get so excited and I would try to contact the person and sometimes talk to them for an hour or two on the telephone thinking this might be the only fan I'll ever have. I'm sure I did write back. Neil Sattin: Speaking of that, this might be a good chance to start talking about the cognitive distortions and like the idea that this might be the only fan that you ever have, what are we talking about in terms of now we've established pretty well. The way I think about things is going to determine how I feel. Neil Sattin: Yet, there are these distorted ways of thinking about the world that really have an enormously negative impact on our ability to function and interact. David Burns: This is one of the amazing ideas of cognitive therapy that at first I didn't quite grasp, but the early cognitive therapists like Albert Ellis from New York and then Aaron Beck at University of Pennsylvania who I learned it from were claiming not only do your thoughts create all of your moods, but when you're upset, when you're depressed, when you're anxious, when you feel ashamed or excessively angry or hopeless, not only are those feelings created by your thoughts and not by the circumstances of your life, but those negative thoughts will generally be distorted and illogical so that when you're depressed, you're fooling yourself, you're telling yourself things that simply aren't true and that depression and anxiety are really the world's oldest cons. David Burns: Beck - when I first began learning about cognitive therapy from him when I was a psychiatric resident and postdoctoral fellow, he had about four distortions as I recall and he had big names for them and then I added some to those and I used to talk to my patients about all-or-nothing thinking and overgeneralization and self-blame and the different ones. David Burns: Once, I was having a session with a patient and he said, "Why don't you list your 10 distortions and hand it out to patients?" He said, "It would make it so much easier for us." I thought, "Wow, that is a cool idea." I ran home that night after work and I made the list of the 10 cognitive distortions and that's what led to my book Feeling Good. David Burns: My list of 10 cognitive distortions, it's probably been reproduced in magazines and by therapists all over the world, I would imagine easily millions of times and probably tens of millions of times, but there are 10 distortions. Number one is all-or-nothing thinking, black or white thinking. David Burns: It's where you think about yourself in black or white term, shades of gray don't exist. If you're not a total success, you think that you're a complete failure or you tell yourself you're defective. I gave a workshop with Dr. Beck at one of the professional conferences like the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, cognitive therapy had just come out and Beck is not a very good public speaker. David Burns: I was a novice also at the time and we had a half day workshop and there were a few hundred therapists there and it was okay, but it wasn't great and they started challenging us because nobody liked the idea of cognitive therapy initially, it was scorned and looked down on. We got defensive and then afterwards Dr. Beck looked at me and said, "David, you look like you're feeling down. What's the problem?" David Burns: I said, "Well, to tell you the truth Dr. Beck, I thought we were below average in this presentation and I'm feeling upset about that." He said, "Oh, well you should, if we were below average, you should thank your lucky stars." I said, "Why should I thank my lucky stars if we were below average?" David Burns: He said, "Because average is the halfway point. By definition, we have to be below average half the time. We can thank our lucky stars we got the below average one out of the way and we look forward to an above average one the next time we present." Suddenly, my discouragement disappeared. David Burns: He was just modeling thinking in shades of gray whereas I had been thinking in black and white terms. All-or-nothing thinking is very common in depression and it's also the cause of all perfectionism - thinking if you're not the greatest, second best or average just is not good enough, it's either the world or nothing, perfection or failure and it creates tremendous problems. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I could see that also coming up in terms of comparisons like if so and so is already doing this thing, I can't possibly do that because it's so and so's domain. As if one person could own the domain for the entire world in any particular area. David Burns: Well yeah, that's another mental trick that we play in ourselves with the distortions I call mental filtering and discounting the positive. You see this all the time when you're feeling inferior and comparing yourself to other people. Mental filter is where you focus on all of your flaws thinking about all of your errors. David Burns: You don't think about what's good about you or what's beautiful about you. I did a TV show finally when the book gained popularity in Cincinnati and it was a morning show and they had a live audience and a band and he was interviewing me. It was exciting for me because it was still the first time I had any media exposure. David Burns: Then after the show, the host said, "Dr. Burns, could I talk to you for a minute?" This often happens to me when I'm on a radio or TV show because the people in the media have tremendous pressures on them and they often also feel that they're not good enough. I said, "Sure. I'd love to. What's the issue?" David Burns: He says, "Well, after every morning show, I get about 350 fan mails, fan letters or calls or whatever." He said, "They are 99.9% positive, but everyday I'll get one critical letter. One critical feedback and I dwell on that one constantly and make myself miserable and ignore all the other positive feedback." That's called mental filter because you filter out the good stuff and you've just focused on your flaws. David Burns: A lot of the people listening to the show right now do that. Then an even bigger mental error is called discounting the positive - when you say that the good things about you don't even count. You may have done this to yourself when someone gives you a compliment, you might tell yourself, "Oh, they're just saying that to be nice to me. They don't really mean it." You discount that positive experience. David Burns: I had a colleague who got upset when he recently won the Nobel prize, one of my college roommates, and the reason he got upset is he said they haven't recognized my best work yet. So those are three of the 10 distortions. Neil Sattin: Yes. One of my favorites I think comes next on your list, at least the list I'm looking at after discounting the positive which is the ways that we jump to conclusions. David Burns: Right. There's two common patterns here, jumping to conclusions that aren't warranted by the facts and mind-reading and fortune-telling are two of the commonest ones. Now, fortune-telling is when you make a prediction about the future, an arbitrary prediction about the future and all anxiety results from fortune-telling, telling yourself that something terrible is about to happen - like when I get on that plane, I just know it will run into turbulence and crash. You feel panic and anxiety. David Burns: Depressed people do fortune-telling as well. Hopelessness results from predicting that things will never change, my problems will never get solved, I'm going to be miserable forever. Almost every depressed patient thinks that way and that's actually why many people with depression commit suicide because they have the illogical belief that their mood will never improve, that they're the one untreatable person. David Burns: Mind-reading is the other common form of jumping to conclusions and this is real common in social anxiety, but Neil, I'm sure you see it in a lot of people with relationship problems. Neil Sattin: Absolutely. David Burns: But mind-reading is where you assume you know how other people are thinking and feeling without any evidence, without any data. I used to struggle with intense social anxiety among my many other fears and phobias that I've had and overcome over the years, but the anxious person - say you're at a social gathering and you think, "Oh, these people won't be interested in what I have to say and they never feel anxious. I'm the only one who feels insecure." David Burns: Then you also may have the thought, "Oh, they can see how anxious I am and they're going to be real turned off by me." Then what happens is that when you start talking to someone, you get really busy worrying about how they're not going to be interested in you. You try to think of something clever or interesting to say while they're talking. David Burns: Then when they're done, instead of repeating what they said and expressing an interest in what they said, you make the little speech you had prepared. That turns the other person off because I think, "Wow, David doesn't seem interested in me. I was just telling him about my son, he was just accepted to Harvard and now he's talking about something else." David Burns: That person pretty quickly loses interest in you and says, "Oh, I have to talk to so and so on the other side of the room." Then you, the shy person get rejected again which is what you thought was going to happen. Although these are distortions, you're thinking in an unrealistic way, they sometimes feel like self-fulfilling prophecies so you don't realize that you're fooling yourself. Neil Sattin: Right, because when you're in it, then you seem to be getting plenty of evidence that it's true. David Burns: Yes, and another form of evidence comes to another distortion. One name I made up called emotional reasoning where you reason from your feelings. You see this in angry interactions, you see that in anxiety and in depression. The depressed patient is giving themselves all these messages like I'm a loser, I'm no good and beating up on yourself and then you feel ashamed and guilty and worthless and inferior and inadequate. David Burns: Then you say, "Well, I feel like a loser, I must really be one." Reasoning from your emotions, thinking your emotions somehow reflect reality. That thought by the way is one we skipped over - overgeneralization. That's number two on the list actually, right after all-or-nothing thinking. David Burns: Overgeneralization, this is a Buddhist thing, really overgeneralization. It's where you generalize to yourself from some specific event. For example, I have a free training for Bay Area psychotherapists every Tuesday evening at Stanford and you don't have to be a Stanford student to come, I give unlimited free psychotherapy training to therapists who can come to my Tuesday group and any of the listeners or therapists near in the Bay Area on a Tuesday email me and you're welcome to attend my Tuesday training group. David Burns: Then I also have free hikes every Sunday morning and we go out hiking for maybe three and a half hours on the trails around my home and I treat people for free on the hikes. We do training and one of the women on the Sunday hike, I'll keep it vague to protect her identity, but she just had a problem with her boyfriend and they broke up and then she was telling herself, "I'm inadequate ... I'm unlovable" kind of thing. David Burns: "This was my fault and I must have been doing something wrong." You see, when you think like that and most of us do when we're upset, she's generalizing from this event, that it didn't work out with her boyfriend to then this global idea that "I'm inadequate. There's something wrong with me" - as if you had a self that wasn't good enough. David Burns: Then people also say, "I'll be alone forever. I'm unlovable. This is always happening to me." That's all over generalization where you generalize from a negative event and you see it as a never-ending pattern of defeat. You also see it as evidence that you're somehow defective or not good enough than when you're thinking these things, they seem so true - just as believable as the fact that there's skin on your hand. David Burns: You don't realize that you're fooling yourself, the pain that you feel is just incredible. I know that of the many people listening to this show right now, I'm sure you can identify this with this that you've had thoughts like that and you know how real and painful these feelings are. David Burns: It's one of the worst forms of human suffering, but the good news is and we haven't gone around to that, but not only are there fantastic techniques, cognitive therapy techniques that we've been talking about from my book feeling good described in there or my feeling good handbook so that you can overcome these distorted thoughts and get back to joy and self-esteem quickly, but also my group at Stanford over the 10 years, the past 10 years, we've created even more powerful techniques and to help bring about really high speed recovery for people struggling with depression and anxiety. David Burns: The new techniques are way more powerful than the original cognitive therapy although those methods are still fabulous, but maybe we'll have time to talk about some of these. David Burns: But there's more distortions to cover. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Maybe what we could do because I'd love to balance this out and I want to ensure that we cover the other distortions. We have maybe four more. At the same time, maybe let's break from the distortions just to change things up a bit and start entertaining that question of, "Alright, yeah. I relate to some or all that we've even listed so far." Neil Sattin: What are some of the initial steps that someone could talk because where I tend to go with this is like, "Well, these belief patterns like you talked about, "I'm unlovable" as one, those seem to emerge from a place that's immutable. It's something that's really deep in someone's psyche and yet, you're suggesting that there's ways to transform that that are really quick and direct and give someone a felt experience of the truth that's not that thing. David Burns: Yeah, that's right. You can group the techniques into cognitive techniques to crush these distorted thoughts and motivational techniques to get rid of your ... To bring your resistance to change to conscious awareness and melt away the resistance. The patients become incredibly motivated to crush their thoughts. David Burns: An example of the way the cognitive techniques work, what is crucial and this is one of the first things when we first created cognitive therapy in the mid 1970s was to write the negative thoughts on a piece of paper. It's a very humble thing to do, but it can be dramatically effective because then you can look at the list of 10 distortions and immediately, pinpoint the distortions and that makes it much easier to talk back to these disruptive thoughts and poke holes in them. David Burns: I'll give you an example of my own personal life because I've used these techniques myself and if they hadn't worked for me, I never would have become a cognitive therapist and now a TEAM CBT therapist, but when I was a postdoctoral fellow, I used to go to Dr. Beck's weekly seminars and I would present all my most difficult cases and get tips from him on how to treat these people with what was then the rapidly emerging brand new cognitive therapy and it was an exciting time, but one day, I talked to him about a patient that wasn't paying the bill, that I've had a bad session with this patient and asked him for some guidance. David Burns: He actually was pretty critical of the way I had dealt with this patient. I became awfully upset, I got depressed and anxious and I was riding home on the train and my head was filled with negative thoughts and negative feelings. Then when I got home, I told myself, "Well David, you probably better run, go on a long six mile run and get your brain endorphins up so get over your depression" because those were the days when everyone was believing the phony baloney that somehow exercise boosts brain endorphins and will reduce depression. David Burns: I went out on this long run and the longer I ran, the more believable my negative thoughts became. I said, "David, what are you telling yourself?" I said, "Oh, I'm a worthless human being. I have no therapeutic skills, I'm going to be banned from the state of Pennsylvania and they'll take away my medical license, I have no future in psychiatry. I'm a worthless human being, I'm a bad person." Stuff like that. David Burns: It seemed overwhelmingly true. I said, "Are there some distortions in your thoughts David? Look for the distortions like what you tell your patients." I said, "No, there are no distortions in my thoughts. This is just real." I was telling myself it's so weird to hear, you're something like 30 years old or however old I was, 31, it took you all of this time in your life to realize what a horrible loser you are. David Burns: It's as if I had seen the truth for the first time and it was devastating. Then when I got home, I said, "David, why don't you write your thoughts on a piece of paper? That's what you make all of your patients do." I said, "Oh no, no, my thoughts are real, that won't do any good." Then I told myself, "But isn't that the same way you're whining just like your patients whine and resist? And you force them to write their thoughts down on a piece of paper. You tell them they have to do that. Why don't you try that David?" David Burns: I said, "No, no, it wouldn't do any good. I really am a worthless human being. This is true." Then I said, "No David, you're still resisting. Take out a piece of paper and do what you tell your patients to do." I said, "Oh okay, I'll do it just to prove that it won't work." I wrote my thoughts down. Number one, I'm a worthless human being, number two, I have no therapy skill. David Burns: Number three, I screwed up with this patient. Number four, they'll take away my medical license, stuff like that. I wrote down four or five thoughts. Then I said, "Now, are there any distortions?" I looked at my own list of 10 distortions. I said, "Wow, those thoughts are pretty distorted. It's all-or-nothing thinking, black and white thinking like I'm not allowed to make a mistake with a patient. It's overgeneralization, I'm generalizing from the fact that I screwed up with this patient in a session to, "I am a worthless human being," it's fortune-telling, "I have no future in psychiatry." David Burns: Jumping to conclusions, self-blame, hidden "should" statements, that's another distortion. I shouldn't have screwed up, I should always be perfect. It was emotional reasoning, I feel worthless, I must be worthless. I suddenly saw those distortions and then I said, "Now, can I write a positive thought to challenge these negative thoughts?" That's the other part of the exercise. First you write the negative thought, then you identify the distortions, then you write a positive thought. David Burns: The positive thought has to be 100% true. Rationalizations and half truth will never help a human being. I came up with this positive thought. I said, "David, you're just a beginner. You have the right to make mistakes. In fact, even when you're 75 years old years from now, you might be a great therapist, but you'll still make mistakes and learn from them. That's part of the territory." David Burns: "You're absolutely permitted to do that. Instead of beating up on yourself, why don't you talk it over with your patient tomorrow and tell him that you made a mistake and see if you can repair that rupture in your relationship with the patient." All of a sudden, I said, "Is that true?" "Yeah, that thought is 100% true." How much do I believe this rubbish that I'm a worthless human being and all of that and my belief in those negative thoughts went to zero and my negative feelings just disappeared in a flash entirely. I said, "Wow, this shit is pretty good. This really works." Hope you don't have to edit out that word. Neil Sattin: No, that's fine. That's fine. David Burns: Then the next day I saw the patient, I said, "You know Mark, I've been feeling terrible since last session and ashamed because I don't think I treated you right." I was putting pressure on you because of the unpaid balance and I didn't put any emphasis on your suffering and what's going on with you as a human being I just imagine you felt so hurt and angry with me and discouraged and I'm just overjoyed that you came back today rather than dropping out of therapy so we can talk it over and see if we can deepen our relationship. David Burns: He just loved that and we had the best session ever, he gave me perfect empathy scores at the end of the session, but that's just an example from my personal life and I'm sure the people here can relate to that, but I've developed probably 50 or 100 techniques for crushing negative thoughts and I've made it sound easy, but it isn't always easy because you might be very, very trapped in your negative thoughts. David Burns: You might have to try several of the different techniques before you find the one that works for you. I want to be encouraging to the listeners and to therapists who may be listening, but I also don't want to make it sound like something overly simple or overly simplistic because it's really a pretty high-powered, sophisticated type of therapy. David Burns: Fortunately, many people can make it work on their own, but anyway, that's the half of the treatment breakthroughs and that was called the cognitive revolution and my book Feeling Good really helped usher that in when feeling good came out in 1980, cognitive therapy was virtually unknown and they were just a handful of cognitive therapists in the world. David Burns: Now, it's become the most popular form of psychotherapy in the world and the most researched form of psychotherapy in all of the history of psychology and psychiatry. Neil Sattin: I wonder if we could emphasize because I'm thinking about how we talked about the technique for identifying a negative thought, identifying the cognitive distortion or distortions that are happening and just to talk about the importance of actually going through that exercise and writing it down. Neil Sattin: Maybe you could just talk for one more minute about why that part is so important. Why is it important to actually write that stuff down versus to do it in your head? David Burns: I think that the negative, the power of the human mind to be negative is very profound. The negative thoughts are like a snake eating its tail, they go round and round and one leads to the next. David Burns: In the early days, I used to try to do cognitive therapy without the written exercise and to this day, new therapists still try to do that. They think they're too fancy that writing things down is too simplistic or something like that and they're going to be deep and just do verbal, deep stuff with people, but the problem is, the human mind is so clever. David Burns: Each distortion reinforces another one and each negative thought reinforces another one and you go round and round and round. That's why doing it verbally or in your head when you're alone is rarely going to be effective, but when you write the negative thoughts down one at a time and number them with short sentences, that makes it much easier to identify the distortions in them and turn them around. David Burns: There are three rules of thumb. There's an art form to writing them down. Everything is more sophisticated than I make it sound in a brief interview. There's a lot of rules of the game. For example, when you're writing down negative thoughts, you should never put an emotion or an event. David Burns: People have a negative thought like Trisha rejected me and I feel terrible. Well, that's not a negative thought. That's an event. Trisha rejected me and I use a form called the Daily Mood Log and at the top you put the event and then you circle all of your emotions and put how strong they are between zero and a hundred. David Burns: These emotions might be feel guilty, ashamed, lonely, depressed, worthless and then the negative thought would be the interpretation of that event like I must be unlovable, I'll be alone forever. Then those are things that have distortions. A second rule is don't ever put rhetorical questions in the negative thought column. David Burns: If you say something like, "Oh, why am I like this? Why am I so anxious in social situations?" Or "What's wrong with me?" You can't disprove questions so instead you can substitute the hidden claim behind the question which is generally a hidden should statement like I shouldn't be like this or I must be defective because I'm so anxious in social situations or some such thing. David Burns: There are probably one or two other rules of the game and my book When Panic Attacks which is one of my newer books on all the anxiety disorders, Feeling Good is on depression. When Panic Attacks is on all of the different kinds of anxiety. I think the third chapter shows how to fill out the Daily Mood Log and what the rules are to follow to enhance the effectiveness of it so you'll be more likely to have a successful experience. Neil Sattin: Great. The idea is that it's simply by doing this process that the things shift. It's not like there's ... You go through the process and then maybe you would track your mood afterwards and see, "Wow, I'm actually feeling better than I was before" just by simply doing that? David Burns: Well, a lot of people can feel better just by doing it, but the research has shown that two thirds of people just by reading Feeling Good, they can improve a lot in depression, but some people need the help of a therapist and it isn't true that everyone has to do it on your own, sometimes you need another person to get that leverage to pop out of it. David Burns: Another thing that's helpful when you're writing down your negative thoughts is Beck's theory of cognitive specificity. You see, Buddha said our thoughts create our emotions, but Beck took it to the next level and said different patterns of thoughts create different types of emotions. David Burns: If you're feeling guilty, you're probably telling yourself that you're a bad person or that you violated your value system. If you're feeling hopeless, you're definitely telling yourself that things will never change, something like that. I'll be miserable forever. If you're feeling anxious, you're definitely telling yourself something awful is about to happen. David Burns: "When I get on that show with Neil, I'll screw up, my brain will go blank." That type of thing. When you're feeling sad, you're telling yourself... or depressed, that you've lost something central to your self-esteem. When you're feeling angry, you're telling yourself that someone else is a loser that they're treating you unfairly, that they shouldn't be that way. David Burns: These rules can also help individuals pinpoint your negative thoughts. Once you see what the emotions are, then you know the kind of thoughts to look for. One last thing is sometimes people say, "Oh, I don't know what my negative thoughts are." I just say, "We'll just make some up and write them down and number them." David Burns: Then I say, "Are your thoughts like this?" They say, "Oh, that's exactly what I'm thinking." Those are a few tips on refining the part with the negative thoughts. But now we have even more powerful techniques that have evolved in my work with my training and development group at Stanford. Neil Sattin: Yeah, before we talk about those, which I hope we will have time to do - there are a couple of things that jumped out at me. One was as you were describing the distortions that we've already talked about, it popped into my head that this is often at the source of most conflict that happens in couples - that either one person is having distorted thinking or one person is protecting themselves from their own distorted thinking. Neil Sattin: For example, your partner says something and you have this feeling like, "Well, that's not true. I got to defend myself from that accusation." David Burns: That's right yeah. Neil Sattin: You jump into this place of conflict that's all about proving that this negative concept you suddenly are perceiving about yourself isn't true. When that negative concept in and of itself might be an example of you just having a distortion - like for instance, "my partner is mad at me, that must mean they think I'm a horrible human being." David Burns: Yeah, what's huge what you just said, when we're in conflict with people, there's a lot of inner chatter going on in addition to the verbal altercations, the arguing, the escalation, the defensiveness - and some of the distortions will be focused on the other person and some of the distortions will be focused on yourself. David Burns: You see all of the 10 cognitive distortions in relationship conflict, but they have a little bit of a different function I would say. Now, let's say you're angry, Mary is angry at her husband Sam, she's ticked off and then if you look at her thoughts, they have all 10 distortions. David Burns: She'll tell herself things like, she might be thinking, "Oh, he's a loser. All he cares about is himself. The relationship problems are all his fault, he'll never change." That type of thing. You sell all-or-nothing thinking, mind-reading, imagining how he's thinking, you see blame, you see hidden should statements, he shouldn't be like that, he shouldn't feel like that. David Burns: You see discounting the positive, mental filtering, overgeneralization, magnification, minimization. You see all the same 10 distortions. The only difference is that when you're depressed and I can show you that your thoughts about yourself are distorted and that's not true that you're a loser, you're going to love me, the therapist, you're going to appreciate that and you're going to feel better and you're going to feel better and recover from your depression. David Burns: When people are in conflict and we're having distorted thoughts about the other person, we're generally not motivated to challenge those distortions because they make us feel good. We feel morally superior to the other person. I don't generally work with people too much on changing their distortions about others because they don't want to hear it. David Burns: If the therapist finds out that this woman, that her thoughts about her husband are causing her to be upset, not her husband's behavior, and in addition that her thoughts about her husband are all wrong, wrong, wrong, they are all distorted, she'll just fire the therapist and drop out of therapy and she'll have two enemies, her loser of a husband and her loser of a therapist. David Burns: That's why I developed some of the techniques we talked about in the last podcast we did on relationships. I used slightly different strategies, but you're right, those distortions are incredibly positive and the other kind of distortion you have when you're in conflict if someone's criticizing you, again you may start thinking, "This shows that I'm a loser, I'm no good. I should be better than I am. If you're criticizing me, that's a very dangerous and terrible situation." David Burns: By attending to those kind of thoughts that make you feel anxious and ashamed and inferior and guilty and inadequate, then you can modify those and then do much better in the way you communicate with the other person because your ego isn't on the line. An example with me is in my teaching, I always get feedback from every class I do, every student I mentor or supervise from every workshop and I get it right away, I don't get it six months from now, I get it the very day that I'm teaching. David Burns: I get all kinds of criticisms on the feedback forms I've developed even if I have a tremendous teaching seminar, I'll get a lot of criticisms especially if they feel safe to criticize the teacher. I find that if I don't beat myself up with inner dialogue, then I can find the truth in what the student is saying and treat that person with warmth and with respect and with enthusiasm even. David Burns: Then they suddenly really love the way that I've handled their criticism and it leads to a better relationship and that's true between partners or in families as well. That inner dialogue that's where we're targeting ourselves and making ourselves needlessly anxious and defensive and hurt and angry and worthless when we're in conflict with someone - that can be adjusted and modified to really enhance relationships. Neil Sattin: The two distortions that we hadn't really covered yet, you just mentioned them and I thought ... We've mentioned them all at this point, but some of them like blaming, whether it's blaming yourself for a situation or blaming others for a situation, that seems a little self-evident. Neil Sattin: I'm curious if you could talk for a moment about labeling and then also magnification and minimization just because I think those are the two that we listed, but didn't really cover. David Burns: Did we mention shoulds? Neil Sattin: Let's mention them and I think again, that might be something that's a little more understandable for people, but yeah, let's do this. David Burns: Oh yeah, okay. Yup. Well, labeling is just an extreme form of overgeneralization where you say I am a loser or with someone else, "He is a jerk." Where you see yourself or another person as this bad glob so to speak. Instead of focusing on specific behaviors, you're focusing on the self. When you think of yourself as a loser or a hopeless case, it creates tremendous pain. David Burns: When you label someone else as a jerk or a loser, it creates rage and then you'll often treat them in a hostile way and then they treat you in a hostile way and you say, "Oh, I know he was a loser." You don't realize you're involved in a self-fulfilling prophecy and you're creating the other person's, you're contributing to or creating the other person's hostile behavior. David Burns: Magnification or minimization is pretty self-evident - where you're blowing things out of proportion - like procrastinators do that. You think about, "All you have to do, all the filing that you're behind on." It feels like you have to climb Mount Everest and you got overwhelmed and then minimization, you're telling yoruself, "Oh, just working on that for five or 10 minutes would be a drop in the bucket. It wouldn't make a difference." You don't get started on the project. David Burns: We've done those two. The should statement say I think is very subtle and not obvious to people at all that we beat up on ourselves the shoulds and shouldn'ts and oughts and musts and we're saying, "I shouldn't have screwed up, I shouldn't have made that mistake. I should be better than I am." David Burns: That creates a tremendous amount of suffering and shoulds go back - if you look at the origin in the English dictionary, maybe we did this in our last podcast, I don't recall that if you have one of these thick dictionaries, you'll find the origin of the word should is the Anglo's accent word scolde, S-C-O-L-D-E where you're scolding yourself or another person, where you're saying to your partner, "You shouldn't feel that way." Or, "You shouldn't believe that." David Burns: We see that politically, two people are always blaming someone they're not in agreement with and throwing should statements at them. Albert Ellis has called that the "shouldy" approach to life which is a cheap joke I guess, but it contains a lot of truth. The feminist psychiatrist Karen Horney who actually I think was born in 1890s did beautiful work on shoulds - when my mother, when we moved to Phoenix from Denver, I think my mother got depressed and she read a book by Karen Horney on the Tyranny of the Shoulds, how we give ourselves all these should statements and make us feel like we're not good enough and we're not measuring up to our own expectations and create so much suffering. David Burns: I think that book was very helpful to her and then Albert Ellis in New York saw that, he argued and I think rightly so that most human suffering is the result of the shoulds that we impose on ourselves or the should statements that we impose on others. Neil Sattin: Well, if that's true, then maybe that should be what we take a moment to attack and I'm wondering if you have a powerful crushing technique that works with shoulds whether it's and maybe it would be a little bit different, the ones that we wield against ourselves versus so and so should know or should have done this differently. David Burns: Right. Well, a lot of the overcoming has to do with the mystical, spiritual concept of acceptance, accepting yourself as a flawed human being is really the source of enlightenment, but we fight against acceptance because we think it's like giving in and settling for second best. We continue to beat up on ourselves thinking if we hit ourselves with enough should statements, we'll somehow achieve perfection or greatness or some such thing. David Burns: One thing that I learned from Ellis that has been really helpful to my patients is that there's only three correct uses of the word should in the English language. There's the moral shoulds like the 10 commandments, thou shalt not commit adultery, though shalt not steal or thou shalt not kill. David Burns: There's the laws of the universe should where if I drop a pen right now, it should fall to the earth because of the force of gravity and then there's the legal should. You should not drive down the highway at 90 miles an hour because that's against the law and you'll get a ticket. Now, I had a colleague who came on one of the hikes who has a developmentally challenged child, say a son just to disguise things a little bit and she's from a very high achieving family, Silicon Valley family just to say the least. David Burns: She and her husband are giants, geniuses and then she went to the grammar school for the parent's day and they had all the kids and they have their daughter in some very expensive private school. The kid's pictures were up on the wall and then she saw her son's picture and it was just very primitive compared with the other children who are real high-powered children from high powered families. David Burns: Her son struggles severely and then she saw that and she felt the feeling of shame. Then she told herself, "I should not feel ashamed of my son." That's hitting herself with a should statement which it's like she doesn't have permission to have this emotion and that's what we do to ourselves. David Burns: That's not a legal should, it's not illegal to feel ashamed of yourself or your son. She then was also of course feeling ashamed of herself. It's not immoral and it doesn't violate the laws of the universe. A simple technique that Ellis suggested and it's so simple it goes in one ear and out the other instead of saying, "I shouldn't, you can just say it would be preferabe if or I would prefer it if or it would be better if." David Burns: You could say it it would be better, it would be preferable if I didn't feel ashamed of my son, but that's the human feeling and probably other parents feel upset with their children, they feel ashamed sometimes of their kids or angry with their kids. It's giving yourself permission to be human and that's called the acceptance paradox. David Burns: The paradox is sometimes when you accept your broken nature, accept your flaws and shortcomings, you transcend them. I've often written that acceptance is the greatest change a human being can make, but it's elusive and Buddha tried to teach this 2,500 years ago when I saw on TV and I don't know if was just a goofy program, but it was on PBS that he had over 100,000 followers in his lifetime and only three achieved enlightenment. David Burns: I think it was frustrating to him and disappointing, but I can see it clearly because what he was teaching was so simple and basic and yet it's hard for us to grasp it and that's why I love doing therapy because we've got powerful new techniques now where I can bring my patients to enlightenment often in a single therapy session if I have more than an hour. David Burns: If I have a two hour session, I can usually complete treatment in about a session and see the patient going from all the self-criticism and self-hatred and misery to actually joy and euphoria. It's one of the greatest experiences a human being can have because when my patient has a transforming experience, then it transforms me at the same time. Neil Sattin: Can you give us a taste of what some of the more powerful new techniques are and how they might work in these circumstances? David Burns: Yeah, they're pretty anti-intuitive and it took me many years of clinical practice before I figured it out and before it dawned on me. I would say very few therapists know how to do this and it's absolutely against the grain of the way therapists have been trained and the general public have been trained to think about depression and anxiety as brain disorders. David Burns: The DSM calls them mental disorders. We've gone in the opposite direction and I'll just make it real quick because we're getting long on people's time here I'm afraid, but when I am working with a person, like last night at my Tuesday group, we were working with a therapist and someone who's in training to become a therapist and she was being very self-critical and telling herself she wasn't smart enough and just beating up on herself and saying that she was defective and she should be better at this and she should this, she shouldn't that. David Burns: She was feeling like 90% depressed and 80% ashamed and intensely anxious. One thing I do before I ... She had all these negative thoughts, "I'm defective" and I don't have the list in my hand, but she had about 17 very self-critical thoughts. After I empathized and my co-therapist was Jill Levitt, a clinical psychologist who I teach with at Stanford and Jill is just a gem, she's fantastically brilliant and kind and compassionate and humble. David Burns: After we empathized with this individual and I'll just keep it vague because most therapists feel exactly the same way so I won't give any identifying details, but we asked this young woman, "Would you like some help today?" With her depression and anxiety. If we had a magic button on the table and she pressed it, all our negative thoughts and feelings would instantly disappear. David Burns: Would she press the magic button? She said, "Oh yeah, that would be wonderful." I guess she's felt this way on and off throughout her life since she was a little girl that she is somehow not good enough. Then we said, "Well, we have no magic button, but we have amazing techniques." But before we use these techniques, maybe we should ask, "What are your negative thoughts and feelings show about you that's beautiful and awesome?" David Burns: Also, "what are some benefits to you in having all of these negative thoughts and feelings?" She was very puzzled by that at first as most therapists are like, "How could there be benefits from having depression? We learn that's some kind of mental disorder or major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder, all these fancy names pretending that these are mental illnesses of some kind. David Burns: But then she got in the flow, we primed the pump a little bit and she was able to come up with a list of 20 overwhelming benefits to her and beautiful things about her that were revealed by her negative thoughts and feelings. For example, when she says, "I'm defective." She will say, "Well, it shows that I'm honest and accountable. Because I do have many flaws." David Burns: Then a second benefit was "it shows that I have high standards." I was able to say, "Do you have high standards?" She said, "Absolutely." I said, "Have your high standards motivated you to work hard and accomplish a lot?" She says, "Oh yeah, absolutely." That was the third benefit. Then the fourth benefit is her self-criticism showed that she's a humble person. That was the fourth benefit, the fourth beautiful thing it showed about her. David Burns: Then we pointed out that humility is the same as spirituality. Her self-criticism shows that she's a humble and spiritual person and then her sadness showed her passion for what she hopes to achieve which is a role as a therapist and a good therapist and her self-doubt keeps her on her toes and motivates her to work really hard. David Burns: Her suffering shows enhances her compassion for others and her shame shows that she has a good value system, a good moral compass and on and on and on, then we came up with a list of when we got to 20 benefits of her negative thoughts and feelings, then we simply said to her, "Well, maybe we don't want to press that magic button because when your negative thoughts and feelings disappears, then these other good things will disappear as well. Why in the world would you want to do that?" David Burns: We have become the role of her subconscious mind and the therapist is paradoxically arguing for the status quo and not arguing for change. The therapist's attempt to help or change the patient is actually the cause of nearly all therapeutic failur
Procrastination is one of the most common causes of unhappiness, and this bad habit is almost universal. We all put off the tasks we dread because they make us anxious, and because we're tempted to do other things that are way more rewarding. But the longer you procrastinate, the worse you feel, and this robs you of motivation. As a result, you fall into a vicious cycle where procrastination triggers negative feelings like depression, anxiety, and guilt, and your negative feelings, in turn, reduce your motivation and trigger more procrastination. A vicious cycle. Fabrice and I are going to show you how to break the cycle and boost your happiness. To get started, please think of ONE thing you've been procrastinating on. It could be anything, such as working on your taxes, cleaning your garage, filing papers, working on a paper or presentation you've been avoiding, reading something you have to read for school or work--anything at all. Now I want to ask you a question. Would you like to overcome the procrastination so you can get started on that task? If your answer is no, you can come back and listen later when you do want to solve this problem. If the answer is yes, then I have a second question for you. WHEN would you like to overcome your procrastination and get started? Today? Or later on? If your answer is today, then we're ready to rumble. If you say, "tomorrow," or some later time, then I'd encourage you to come back to this podcast when you are ready to solve the problem. I can ONLY help you overcome your procrastination today! NOT tomorrow. Finally, I want to know if you'd be willing to devote a very small amount of time to getting started TODAY. I'm asking you to invest something like five minutes, and I'm also asking you to agree to limit your work this small amount of time. This is crucial, because if you tell yourself you have to do the entire job, that may take hours, and you'll probably feel so overwhelmed that you won't do a thing! Finally, I want to know if you'd be willing to get started for five minutes even if you're not "in the mood," and even if you're completely unmotivated, and EVEN if the very thought of the task makes you anxious and guilty. If the answer is YES, then we've got a deal. But if you want to wait for the motivation, I urge you to turn off the podcast and come back to it at some later time. One philosophical principle is the approach we're going to teach you is NOT to wait for motivation. Most procrastinators think that motivation comes first, followed by productive action, but this is an illusion, because you'll probably NEVER feel motivated to do some awful task you've been putting off. If you're waiting for motivation, you'll be waiting forever! As I wrote in my first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, highly productive people know that ACTION comes first, followed by motivation. In other words, you have to get started on some task before you'll feel motivated. You're not entitled to feel motivated until you've start accomplishing something! Waiting for motivation is the trap that keeps your procrastination alive and prospering. I'm going to make things simple for you using a tool I created years ago called the Anti-Procrastination Sheet! To make this podcast experiential, think about the specific task you've been putting off, like filing papers, preparing your taxes, cleaning the garage, a paper or report you have to prepare--anything at all. Now take a look at the Anti-Procrastination Sheet. As you can see, it has five vertical columns, but they're different from the columns on the Pleasure Predicting Sheet that we discussed in last week's podcast. In the first column you break the task into small, or even tiny, steps, and number them. Make sure that each step can be completed quickly and easily--for example 30 seconds, or a minute or two. You don't have to outline the entire task, just the first four or five steps. And make sure the steps are small enough so you can complete all or most of them in five minutes or so. The philosophy behind this is called "little steps for big feats!" If you aim to do just a little, you may end up doing a great deal. But if you aim to do it all at once, the odds are high that you'll just end up procrastinating, because the task will seem overwhelming. After you've outlined the first few steps, predict how satisfying or rewarding each step will be in the second and third columns, on a scale from 0% (not at all satisfying) to 100% (tremendously satisfying.) Make sure you complete this column before you do the activity. And make sure you do it on paper, and not just in your head! Now complete the first step, and indicate how satisfying and rewarding it turned out to be on the same scale, from 0% to 100% in the fourth and fifth columns. That's all there is to it! Now do the same thing for the second step of the task.
Is there anything positive about hopelessness or an addiction ? What does it take to be a "worthwhile" human being, or to have a valuable life? In today’s podcast, David and Fabrice address three questions submitted by listeners: Avi asks another great question about the importance of Positive Reframing in TEAM-CBT. But how can we possibly find something positive in the feeling of hopelessness. After all, Dr. Aaron Beck has taught us that it's the worst emotion of all! Avi asks a similar question about an addiction. How can an addiction possibly be a good thing? Eugene asks a tremendous question about a passage in Dr. Burns' book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, on the topic of what it means to be a worthwhile human being, and what it takes to make a life valuable. Eugene hints that Dr. Burns may have the wrong idea, and asks what he would say to a patient who doesn't "cry uncle!" David and Fabrice love your questions so keep them coming!
The Dark Night of the Soul (Part 1) The first live therapy podcasts with Mark (the man who felt like a failure as a father: podcasts 29 – 35) were enormously popular, and many people have asked for more. David and Fabrice were delighted with your responses, so the next three podcasts will feature a therapy session with Marilyn by David and his highly-esteemed colleague and co-therapist, Dr. Matthew May. These three podcasts will include the entire session plus commentary the session unfolds. We are extremely grateful to Marilyn for her courage and generosity in making this extremely private and intensely personal experience available to all of us. I believe the session will touch your heart, inspire you, and give you courage in facing any problems and traumas that you may be struggling with. According to the theory behind cognitive therapy, people are disturbed not be events, but rather by the ways we think about them. This notion goes back nearly 2,000 years to the teachings of the Greek Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, who emphasized the incredible importance of our thoughts—or “cognitions”—in the way we feel. Fifty years ago, this notion gave rise to a new, exciting, drug-free treatment for depression called “cognitive therapy,” which was based on this basic notion: When you CHANGE the way you THINK, you can CHANGE the way You FEEL—quickly, and without drugs. That’s why I wrote my first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, because I was so excited about this notion and the powerful new “cognitive therapy” that was rapidly emerging. The idea behind cognitive therapy is simple. When you’re upset, you’ve probably noticed that your mind will be flooded with negative thoughts. For example, when you’re depressed, you may be beating up on yourself and telling yourself that you’re a loser, and when you’re anxious you’re probably thinking that something terrible is about to happen. However, it may not have dawned on you that your thoughts are the actual cause of your negative feelings. In addition, you’re probably not aware that your negative thoughts will nearly always be distorted, illogical, or just plain unrealistic. In Feeling Good, I said that depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons, because you’re telling yourself things that simply are not true. In that book, I listed the ten cognitive distortions, such as All-or-Nothing Thinking, Overgeneralization, and hidden Should Statements, that trigger negative feelings. In the years since I first published Feeling Good, my list of cognitive distortions has gone worldwide, and is used by enormous numbers of mental health professionals in the treatment of individuals struggling with depression and anxiety. The notion that depression, anxiety, and event anger result entirely from your thoughts, and not upsetting events or circumstances external events is enormously liberating, because we usually cannot change what’s actually happening, but we can learn to change the way we think—and feel. But a lot of people don’t buy, or understand, this notion which seems to fly in the face of common sense. For example, you might argue that when something genuinely horrible happens, such as failure, losing a loved one, or being diagnosed with terminal cancer, it is the actual event and not your thoughts, that triggers your negative feelings. And you might also argue, perhaps even with some irritation, that your thoughts are definitely not distorted, since the actual event—such as the cancer—is real. Would you agree? I know that’s what I used to think! The next three podcasts will give you the chance to examine your thinking on this topic, because Marilyn is struggling with a negative event that is absolutely real and devastating. As the session with begins, Marilyn explains that she was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 (terminal) lung cancer, which came as a total shock, especially since she’d never smoked. As Drs. Burns and May go through the T = Testing and E = Empathy phases of the TEAM-CBT session, they learn that Marilyn has been struggling with extreme levels of depression, anxiety, shame, loneliness, hopelessness, demoralization, and anger, to mention just a few of her negative feelings. If you’d like, you can review a pdf of the Brief Mood Survey and Daily Mood Log that Marilyn completed just before the session began. You will see that her negative thoughts focus on several themes, including Her fears of cancer, pain, and death. Her thoughts of spiritual inadequacy, doubting her belief in God, wondering if there really is an afterlife, feeling that she’s not spiritual enough, and thinking that she’s perhaps been duped by religions. Her feelings of incompleteness at never having had a truly loving life partner. Her feelings of self-criticism, beating up on herself for excessive drinking during her life. Click here for Marilyn's Brief Mood Survey, pre-session. Click here for Marilyn's Daily Mood Log. The next Feeling Good Podcast with Marilyn will include the A = (Paradoxical) Agenda Setting phase of the TEAM therapy session, and will include the Miracle Cure Question, the Magic Button, the stunning Positive Reframing Technique, and the Magic Dial. The third and final podcast will include the M = Methods phase, including Identify the Distortions, the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique, Externalization of Voices, and Acceptance Paradox, end of session testing, and wrap-up. Although the subject matter of these podcasts is exceptionally grim and disturbing, we believe that Marilyn’s story may transform your thinking and touch your heart in a deeply personal way. Because Marilyn is a deeply spiritual person who suddenly finds herself without hope and totally lost, we have called part one, The Dark Night of the Soul.
Dr. David Burns, MD is the author of the best-selling, "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy," which has sold more than five million copies worldwide. Feeling Good is the book most frequently “prescribed” for depressed patients by psychiatrists and psychologists in the United States and Canada. Surveys indicate that American mental health professionals rate Feeling Good as the #1 book on depression, out of a list of 1,000 self-help books. People are not disturbed by things, but by the views, they take of them - Epictetus This is the basic premise of CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) Dr. Burns popularized in Feeling Good. The way we think about things create all of our emotions, positive or negative. A simple idea some 2,500 years old tracing even before the Stoics to the time of Buddha. Yet, it’s so obvious that very few people grasp it or understand how to use it and many frankly just do not believe it. The concept that horrible things do not cause negative feelings seems untethered from real experience. “A” happens, and I feel “C.” They miss the “B,” a belief or interpretation of “A” that then leads to “C.” On our podcast, Dr. Burns tells the story of a woman diagnosed with terminal cancer, and she became extremely depressed but she didn't want to spend the last two years of her life feeling worthless so enter Dr. Burns. Dr. Burns ascertained that she had two chained thoughts, “I'm letting my family down, they won't survive without me” and “it's my fault that I got cancer and It was those specific thoughts rather than the diagnosis that was causing her extreme emotional distress. Yes, sadness is normal in this case “but you can you make it worse when piling on irrational negative thoughts.” Most of us do this to ourselves that we're not are not aware of it. Dr. Burns says that depression is the world's oldest con and that when you are upset most of the time the thoughts that upset you will be distorted. They're a fraud. Depression is the world's oldest con. “We can put up with almost anything if we think it's it's going to end. There's something weird about depression that it cons you into thinking it will be like this forever, you're no good, and you'll always be no good and your problems will never be solved, and it just seems overwhelmingly valid.” Listen is as we discuss CBT and how you can apply it to help you manage your thoughts. This is life-changing stuff, you need to hear it. Show Notes [00:14:15] His discovery of CBT when doing brain research on chemical imbalances [00:16:30] How difficult it was to publish Feeling Good [00:19:34] How much significance should one put on one's either past or childhood [00:23:40] The cause of negative feelings [00:24:02] The physiology of depression vs pathology of depression. [00:25:41] Genetics of depression and happiness. [00:26:17] Why Dr. Burns loves to treat anxiety disorders [00:27:12] As a Doctor how Dr. Burns cured himself of blood phobia. [00:32:45] The four models of anxiety. [00:39:26] His view on medication / psychopharmacology [00:42:33] The key cognitive distortions warping your thinking [00:47:37] What really leads to suicidal urges [00:50:24] The issues with “self-esteem”
In Today's Episode Chronic pain is a horrible thing. After suffering from debilitating migraines for more than forty years, I can sympathize with people that say they have considered suicide because of their chronic pain. Chronic pain is the reason why many people become dependent on drugs, and why opioid addiction is such a problem in our country, even for kids and teenagers. If you suffer from any kind of pain, I can't wait for you to meet today's guest, Dr. David Hanscom. Dr. Hanscom is a board certified orthopedic surgeon, specializing in complex spine problems in all areas of the spine. He has expertise in adult and pediatric spinal deformities, such as scoliosis and kyphosis. A significant part of his practice is devoted to performing surgery on patients who have had multiple prior spine surgeries. He works for Swedish Neuroscience Specialists in Seattle, Washington, and he is the founder of the Puget Sound Spine Society, a non-profit educational group which provides a regional forum for physicians to share ideas regarding optimum spine care. He is the author of a book titled, Back in Control: A Surgeon's Roadmap Out of Chronic Pain, which I highly recommend that you read, because he explains in full detail why his method works, and what you need to do to get out of chronic pain or chronic anxiety. This book will be, and has been, a miracle for many. Outline of This Great Episode [1:56] Welcome to our old friends and new friends alike! The Vidal Speaks Podcast is where you can learn about all kinds of ways to get well, why a plant-powered diet is the only diet that will reverse disease in the long run, the true causes of chronic disease, and the myths surrounding treatments. Most importantly, you will learn to take charge, and heal yourself and those you love. I hope that this show will grow into a movement of people who take charge of their health! Please tune in every Wednesday and share this podcast with your friends. [12:10] Dr. Hanscom performed state-of-the-art back surgeries for years, but was confused that they weren't working very well. [14:48] While Dr. Hanscom was looking for something better to help his patients, he developed chronic pain himself. [17:14] When you feel anxiety you are really feeling a chemical surge. [20:56] By sharing his personal experience with his patients, Dr. Hanscom has helped hundreds become pain and anxiety free. [21:42] The human body is designed for survival. [24:16] People often don't see that their anger is really anxiety. [24:42] Things started to change when Dr. Hanscom started writing things down, but it took him a little longer to really understand what was going on. [26:41] How does the nervous system work? [29:21] The role of anxiety is to protect us. [30:42] Anger feels powerful, anxiety feels vulnerable. [33:16] Forgiveness can give you your life back. [34:48] How can you know if you have truly forgiven? [39:18] Healing happens in phases. [42:14] Over 300 research papers support Dr. Hanscom's approach to reprogramming the brain. [45:28] Be sure to check out VidalSpeaks.com, where you can find my story, my favorite products, and much more! Please support this show by using the Amazon Banner on my site for all your Amazon purchases, which will pay a small commission to me with no extra cost to you. It really helps. Please also consider donating directly to keep our show going, leaving us a review, or sharing our show with a friend. All of this supports our mission. Thank you! [46:43] Thoughts are real, but they may not represent reality. [49:09] Writing is “mechanical meditation.” [50:06] Dr. Hanscom even practices mindfulness while performing surgery. [51:10] The past is not fixable, and acceptance of that fact is key to healing. [56:22] The goal should be to connect to the very second that you're in. [57:20] Dr. Hanscom's method is a four-step process. [59:13] Talking about your pain is usually not constructive. [1:00:36] Dr. Hanscom is putting on a conference this July with Dr. Bernie Siegel. Connect with Today's Guest BackInControl.com Resources Mentioned Back in Control: A Surgeon's Roadmap Out of Chronic Pain, by Dr. David Hanscom “The Cry of Chronic Pain,” by Dr. David Hanscom “A Surgeon's Perspective on the Hoffman Process,” by Dr. David Hanscom “Physician Suicide: My Journey,” by Dr. David Hanscom “Aching Back? Why Surgery Is Not Indicated for Lower Back Pain,” by Dr. David Hanscom Forgive for Good, by Frederic Luskin Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David Burns The Way to Love, by Anthony de Mello
“My problems are real! The world really IS screwed up! And that’s not a distortion. So what can I do about my severe depression and anxiety?” David and Fabrice discuss two questions submitted by Feeling Good Podcast listeners. #1. Shari writes: “I read your book Feeling Good and now I am reading your book When Panic Attacks--thanks to April's podcast with you. I still struggle but recently our current political situation and environmental research about our negative impact on earth—has triggered severe anxiety and depression again. The problem is that I don't think my thoughts are distorted—it certainly seems logical to assume that life on earth is threatened. So I am not sure how to do this. How can I make progress with my mental and emotional health while being aware of situations around the world? Any advice or thoughts would be deeply appreciated.” This is a wonderful note, and I’m sure that huge numbers of people feel the same way, in varying degrees. So how can we attend to our own emotional well-being in the face of genuine adversity? Dr. Burns discusses this from the perspective of Paradoxical Agenda Setting, which is the key component of TEAM-CBT, and emphasizes the most common therapeutic error of all—jumping in to try to help, without seeing all the really GOOD reasons for the patient NOT to change. From this perspective, Shari’s question becomes the most important question in all of psychiatry and psychotherapy—how do we help patients who may not want to change? #2. After listening to the A = Agenda Setting portion of the live therapy with Mark, Paul submitted this question: “Hi David, Thanks to you, Fabrice and Jill for this episode - as with the previous episodes with Mark, this has really helped in bringing the TEAM approach to life. As I have been using your books in the past few years to self-treat feelings of anxiety and depression, I was very keen to hear how the new agenda setting step works. I am wondering what your thoughts are on how effectively the "A" step can be carried out by a patient on his/her own (i.e. without someone else verbalizing the reasons not to change / playing the part of the patient's sub-conscious)? Do you have any tips? I think I heard Mark say something to the effect that, on his own, he wouldn't have thought of all the positives that you came up with in the session. Thanks again for sharing these great tools and techniques - looking forward to the "M" step soon. Paul” This was another terrific question on a topic of great importance. David explains that it is actually easier for patients to learn to use Positive Reframing and the other Paradoxical Agenda Setting techniques than for therapists to learn them. Because of his excitement over this prospect, David has just begun a new book which will show depressed and anxious individuals exactly how to do this on their own in a step-by-step manner. He is optimistic that the new TEAM-CBT techniques, in book form, may be even more helpful to patients than his first book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Research studies indicate that 65% of patients with moderate to severe depression improve substantially within four weeks of receiving a copy of Feeling Good, even without any other treatment. Dr. Burns is hopeful that his new book will provide the answers for the 35% who were not helped by Feeling Good. So the answer is yes, I think many individuals WILL be able to do the “A” step on their own, and I am hopeful the positive impact will be great! If you would be interested in David's new book, please indicate this in the Survey attached to this podcast. David and Fabrice have exciting plans for upcoming podcasts. They will be addressing these two questions in one or two podcasts: Is it possible to measure our “worthwhileness” or “worthlessness” as human beings? Do we even have a “self”? These two questions have been discussed by experts for thousands of years, going all the way back to the Buddha, and most recently by the incredible Austrian philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein. And although the answers are tremendously simple, people can’t seem to “get it.” The issues are not simply philosophical, but eminently practical, since most depression and anxiety result from the perception that one is “worthless,” or “inferior,” or simply “not good enough.” In addition, David and Fabrice are hoping to create a second live therapy session broken into smaller podcast chunks, but featuring David and a totally awesome former student and now highly esteemed colleague, Matthew May, MD. For the past ten years, David has been telling workshop audiences that Matt is one of the finest therapists in the world. So this is an event you won’t want to miss! Click here to listen to Fabrice being interviewed on Dr. Carmen Roman's podcast.
David and Jill begin using M = Methods to challenge the Negative Thought Mark wants to work on first: “There must be something defective in my brain that prevents me from forming a loving relationship with my oldest son.” You may recall that Mark believed this thought 90%. Do you know what the necessary and sufficient conditions are for feeling emotionally upset? The necessary condition is that you have a negative thought in your mind, such as “I’m a failure as a father,” or “There’s something defective in my brain,” but the mere presence of a negative thought will not generally trigger shame, depression, or anxiety. The sufficient condition for emotional upset is that you believe the negative thought. And if you review his Daily Mood Log from the last session, you’ll see that Mark does have a high degree of belief in all his negative thoughts. When you’re feeling depressed, anxious, inadequate, or hopeless, I suspect that your mind is also flooded with negative thoughts that seem entirely true to you. Do you know the necessary and sufficient conditions for emotional change? The necessary condition is that you can challenge the negative thought with a positive thought that is 100% true. Rationalizations and half-truths will never help anyone, at least not in my experience. But having a valid positive thought is not sufficient for emotional change. For example, Mark could tell himself that he’s a very high powered physician in a world-famous medical center, and that thought would be 100% true. But that thought won't help Mark because he’ll still believe there’s something defective in his brain that prevents him from having a loving relationship with his son. The sufficient condition for emotional change is that you can generate a positive thought that is 100% true, and in addition it has to crush the negative thought. In other words, the very moment you stop believing the negative thought that triggers your angst, in that very instant you will experience emotional relief, and the change will usually be dramatic. But how can we challenge Mark’s belief in the NT. Remember, he is incredibly intelligent, and he’s been hooked on this NT for decades. So we can’t just tell him to cheer up, or encourage him to think more positively, or reassure him that his brain is A-Okay. Not only will those simplistic approaches fail, they would likely annoy him because they sound patronizing and might convey the message that’s he’s an idiot for believing something so ridiculous. Instead, as a TEAM-CBT therapist, I think of 15, 20 or even more powerful and innovative techniques that I can use to gently guide the patient to his or her own discovery that the negative thought is simply not true. That's what we do during the M = Methods portion of a TEAM-CBT session. You will listen as David and Jill generate Next, Jill and David generate a Recovery Circle, selecting 16 techniques they could use to help Mark challenge the Negative Thought in the middle of the Recovery Circle. To see the Recovery Circle, CLICK HERE. David and Fabrice discuss the rationale for the Recovery Circle--you never know what technique is going to work, since people are quite different. One of the many unique and arguably powerful aspects of TEAM-CBT is the use of more than 75 techniques drawn from more than a dozen schools of therapy. One of the first methods we use is so basic that it is programmed right into the Recovery Circle, and it’s called Identify the Distortions. Fairly early in today's recording, Jill and David will ask Mark to identify the distortions in his Negative Thought (NT), “There must be something defective in my brain that prevents me from forming a loving relationship with my oldest son.” At that point, Fabrice will ask you to pause the recording and see how many distortions you can identify in the thought. You can write them down on a piece of paper, or simply print the linked PDF and identify them with check marks on the list of 10 cognitive distortions from my book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. CLICK HERE FOR TEN COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS After Mark identifies the distortions in his Negative Thought, Jill and David encourage him to challenge it, using a variety of techniques on the Recovery Circle, starting with the Paradoxical Double Standard Technique. This is a gentle technique that is often effective for people who are compassionate. Because this technique seems to be helping, they ask Mark to record his positive thought in the Daily Mood Log, and to indicate how strongly he believes it. Then you will see that Mark's belief in the Negative Thought is reduced to zero if you CLICK HERE. In the next podcast, David and Jill will continue with the Methods portion of the session using additional techniques on the Recovery Circle. This will be a unique opportunity to hear many of these techniques in real time with a real person, as opposed to simply reading about them in a book. So--stay tuned to our Feeling Good Podcasts--and thank you so much for your enthusiastic support!
Today I speak to best-selling author of "Feeling Good" and pioneer of the cognitive therapy movement David D. Burns M.D. We discuss the origins and trajectory of his career, the chemical imbalance "myth", his phenomenally successful self-help book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy", the 10 cognitive distortions, his development of a new approach to cognitive therapy known as T.E.A.M therapy, and much more. *** BOOKS MENTIONED *** "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" http://amzn.to/2gezmC0 DISCLAIMER: My Own Worst Enemy is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.co.uk and affiliated sites.
I det artonde avsnittet av podden pratar vi om psykodynamisk terapi (PDT), depression och SSRI-mediciner. Gäst är Marie Åsberg som är psykiatriker och en av världens främsta depressionsforskare. Den här gången går vi igenom de stora genombrotten och hennes karriär under åren från 1980 fram tills idag. Vi pratar bland annat om psykodynamisk terapi och hur den har utvecklats från vetenskapsfrånvänd till evidensbaserad.Dessutom pratar vi om kognitiv beteendeterapi (KBT) som fick sitt stora genombrott i USA under 1980-talet, inte minst i och med att David Burns bok ”Feeling Good – The New Mood Therapy” publicerades just 1980. Metoden fick sitt genombrott i Sverige under 90-talet och 00-talet och är en blandning av kognitiv terapi och beteendeterapi. Vi pratar även om SSRI-medicinernas genombrott, mentalsjukhusens nedläggningar och vilka genombrott Marie tror psykiatrin står inför de närmaste åren.Hjälp till att hålla podden gratis och få tillgång till Dokument-serien på: http://patreon.com/sinnessjuktKöp Christians böcker och tavlor signerade här: https://vadardepression.seKöp Sinnessjukt-tishan här: http://sinnessjukt.se/butikBoka föreläsning här: http://vadardepression.se/forelasning-psykisk-ohalsa/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Our thoughts are critical. “If you realised just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” - Peace Pilgrim The wrong types of thought, the negative thoughts that often come to mind throughout our day, can make you feel bad and stop you achieving our best. So today we’re thinking about NATS. And we don’t mean those pesky little insects that buzz around you and over your head when you’re enjoying a warm summer’s evening walk or drink outside the pub. We’re talking Negative Affirming Thoughts (NATs for short). And if you’re not recognising them, then they might just be preventing you living your fullest life now and getting in the way of you achieving your goals or making the changes you want in your life. “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” - Eckhart Tolle So today we want to look at the different varieties, or maybe we should say ‘species’ of NATs out there. Because if you’re aware of them you’re more likely to recognise them and do something about them when you notice yourself thinking them. And sometimes just catching out that thought is enough to dissipate it or stop its influence on your behaviour. Why are these thoughts affirming? You probable think of affirmations as something positive (like those we’ve talked about before) but affirmation just means affirming something, or making it firm, and this can be in a negative way just as much as in a positive way. So with negative thoughts the danger is that you constantly reaffirm or reinforce them until they become the way you think and then get in the way of you doing what you want to do. In his book, Change your Brain, Change your Body Dr Daniel G. Amen puts forward 9 types of negative thought (that he calls ANTs – automatic negative thoughts). David Burns, in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, outlines 10 common mistakes in thinking, or thinking errors he calls cognitive distortions. NLP has a similar concept so we decided to roll them all into one bundle and somehow we’ve ended up with 11! So here’s all 11, how you can spot them and then swat the little beggars! So go on, see if you’re thinking these thoughts and learn how to stop them before they take a hold (you know you want to!) The 11 Negative Thoughts 1. All or nothing thoughts This is when you think some is all good or all bad, all black or all white. You miss a day on your diet - you think you have no self-control and give up. You’ve given up smoking and then had a quick puff? Immediately you tell yourself “I can’t do this no-smoking malarkey, I just can’t quit!” It’s all or nothing with you and if you’ve set yourself an aim of doing something, in your eyes you’ve failed. Swatting those NATs: Recognise, one slip up doesn’t mean you’ve given up; it means just that – you’ve had one slip up. 2. ‘Always’ thinking – overgeneralization Always thinking or overgeneralizing is typically accompanied by words such as always, never, every time, or everyone. “You never have any respect for my feelings” or “Every time I ask you to do something you always say you’re too busy!” or indeed “I always mess up!” This kind of thinking makes you feel as if you’ve no control over your actions – and as such it’s disempowering. Swatting those NATs: Ask yourself. Does this always happen, every single time? Really? If not then recognise you’re overgeneralizing. Say to yourself – just because one event happened, doesn’t necessarily mean I am permanently this way of being. 3. Focussing on the negative NAT number 3 sees only the negative in life, even when the positive is staring you in the face. It’s like you have a mental filter that mostly focuses on the negative or upsetting aspects whilst ignoring massive positives. “I set myself a task of losing 10 pounds this month, and I’ve only lost five. I’m a failure.” Focussing on the negative makes you more inclined to give up. Swatting those NATs: Put a positive spin on your thoughts. “Wow, 5 pounds weight loss, my goal is getting ever nearer.” This encourages you to keep going and makes you feel better about yourself. Learn to look for the silver lining in every cloud and count your positives rather than your negatives – in other words look for the positives in situations. 4. Thinking with your feelings or emotional reasoning “I feel like I’m never going to get to grips with my bad back.” Here thoughts occur when you have a feeling about something. You assume it’s correct and never question it. This species of NAT mixes up and confuses feelings and facts – which leads you to make decisions based on how you feel rather than objective reality. It’s important here to recognise that feelings can lie. Swatting those NATs: Look for evidence to see if it’s really true. If you feel you’re never going to get a grip with your bad back, then book an appointment with you doctor or physio to see if there’s anything that can be done about it. 5. Disqualifying the Positive This involves always shooting down good or positive experiences for no real reason – so you can keep a negative belief even though the evidence points to the opposite. It’s as if the good stuff doesn’t count because everything else is bad about your life. Swatting those NATs: Think about what does count and why. Learn to accept compliments by just saying ‘thank you’ (so when someone compliments you on your new shoes just say thanks instead of – well they were only cheap, or I got them in the sale) Or try bigging yourself up – or bolster your view of yourself by listing your good qualities, skills and accomplishments. 6. The Guilt Trip or ‘should-ing’ Spotting this one is a cinch. You’re thinking in words like ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘ought to’ and ‘have to’. “I really should get this job done” or “I feel like watching TV, but I ought tobe doing my gym workout.” Here you’re using guilt to control your behaviour. And guess what? When you feel obliged to do something, you rebel against it! Swatting those NATs: Although guilt isn’t all bad, don’t use excessive guilt to control your behaviour. Try asking yourself questions like - what is stopping me doing this, or what rule says I should, or simply ask ‘why should I?’ Another technique is to use ‘could’ instead of ‘should’. 7. Labelling and mislabelling Ever guilty of labelling yourself in some way? Of explaining your behaviours by labelling it? “I’m useless at maths.” “I’m such a loser.” There’s an error in logic going on here, where you make a leap from a behaviour or action to an identity, so the identity is determined by the behaviour. Guess what? If you’ve given yourself an all-embracing label it takes away your control over your actions and behaviour. Now although this might be a good excuse for lack of action on occasions it’s also taking away your control and self-efficacy – which is never a good idea. Swatting those NATs: Ok, so you may not be very good at maths at the moment, but you can’t just give up before you’ve even tried. That’s just defeatist. You didn’t say when you were a child “I tried walking once and I was useless at it.” You didn’t, did you? OMG! 8. Magnification and Minimisation This is where you magnify or exaggerate the negatives and minimise or understate the positives – people often do this to themselves. I can also be where you catastrophise – or jump ahead to the worst possible outcome, expecting the worst case scenario to actually happen. Or thinking that a situation is unbearable when it’s just unpleasant; like when you think ‘I can’t stand this.’ Swatting those NATs: Ask yourself what would happen if you did stand this. Examine exactly how something is so bad – and compared to what. 9. Fortune telling – jumping to conclusions Here you predict the worst, even though you don’t actually know what will happen. You’re anticipating things will turn out badly, as if your prediction is already a fact. “Whenever I try to give up smoking, I end up giving up!” Fortune telling thinking can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy, i.e. it becomes true. Swatting those NATs: Talk back to those thoughts. Ask how you know it will turn out this way. Say - Ah, that’s fortune telling thinking – and tell yourself it doesn’t always have to end that way. 10.Mind reading Another form that jumping to conclusions takes is when you think you know what someone else is thinking even though they haven’t told you. “She’s looking at me strangely, she must think I’m stupid” or “He’s looking at my tummy, he must think I’m fat.” A chance look from someone doesn’t mean they’re judging you. She/he could like you, or noticed that you’ve spilt something on your top! Swatting those NATs: It ain’t true unless someone actually tells you that’s what they’re thinking. Examine the evidence – check out the facts and if in doubt ask. And how about letting go of a need for approval because you can’t please everyone all the time. As to thinking about you, the truth is most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think about you. 11.Blame - In the blame game you blame yourself for situations and others behaviours that are not necessarily directly connected. So for example, your son’s doing badly at school so you think you must be a bad mother. Or you might find yourself saying “I can’t diet because you never support me” or “It’s your fault I’m in this situation.” Blaming others for your own problems and not taking responsibility for your actions is toxic and disempowering. Swatting those NATs: When you find yourself blaming yourself ask how much of this problem is really your responsibility. And quit blaming others and take responsibility for your actions. If you are smoking, it’s because you choose to and equally, you can choose to quit! Empowering, isn’t it? And finally. Remember, recognising negative affirming thought patterns is the first step in learning to change them. Changeability Podcast – Episode 39 Here us talk about all of this and more in episode 39 of the Changeability Podcast. Listen by clicking above or subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Stitcher. Resources and links mentioned in Episode 39 Affirmations episodes Episode 19 – Affirmations to manage your mind Episode 18 – How to make affirmations work Episode 17 – The what, why and how of positive affirmations The soundtrack in your head – beliefs and mindset Dr D. Amen - Change your brain, Change your body David Burns, M.D. - Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
Getting to the root of the problem Is depression increasing in society? Depressingly Easy by Kelly Lambert http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=depressingly-easy&sc=MND_20080731 Challenging one's silent assumptions Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns http://www.feelinggood.com/books.htm#book_fg http://www.feelinggood.com/ The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=21_23&products_id=35 Stop "Depressing" Checking one's conscious and subconscious premises Real-Time Relationships by Stefan Molyneux http://freedomainradio.com/free/#RTR False self vs True self The Art of Self-Discovery by Nathaniel Branden http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=21_23&products_id=38 Living in accordance with rational self-interest and your own happiness WebWise Business: Where Confidence Grows, Cashflow Goes Chris Curtis of Web Business Ownership talks with Kirk Nugent on the VoiceAmerica Business Radio Network http://www.webwiseshow.com/shows/show4.htm Dealers of Deceit by Kirk Nugent (from: I Just Want To Testify "Pursue Your Passion Edition") http://www.kirknugent.com/ excerpt from Practical Anarchy by Stefan Molyneux http://freedomainradio.com/free/#PA excerpts from Everyday Anarchy by Stefan Molyneux http://freedomainradio.com/free/#EA The psychological need for questioning social axioms Rejecting the emotional trap of social metaphysics Social Metaphysics by Nathaniel Branden in The Psychology of Self-Esteem http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=21_23&products_id=54 We are lonely for ourselves Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation by Nathaniel Branden http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=21_23&products_id=43 Solzhenitsyn, chronicler of Soviet gulag, dies http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/08/03/1718171-solzhenitsyn-chronicler-of-soviet-gulag-dies Solzhenitsyn's nationalism, Stockholm syndrome, and regimes of fear Pursue Your Passion by Kirk Nugent http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4wDVrfLIq0 The Ultimate Answer by Kirk Nugent http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4e0xCLf28s I Need You To Remember by Kirk Nugent http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DH35qC1D34 bumper music "Right Here, Right Now" by Jesus Joneshttp://www.jesusjones.com/ to comment, please go to http://completeliberty.com/magazine/category/91697