Podcasts about euh

"Euh... Comment parler de la mort aux enfants" aux éditions Bayard Grasset. Entretien avec Sylvie Hazebroucq.Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Euh, wat?

La sexualité, deux poids deux mesures pour les hommes et les femmes ? Euh... ben oui !!! Et comment même quand une femme assume sa sexualité " comme un homme " elle a du mal à le faire socialement. Un podcast Bababam Originals Ecrit par Hélène Vézier Retrouvez tous les épisodes de Madame Meuf ici. Première diffusion le 5 décembre 2023 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gedragen besluitvorming, dat is toch drie keer iedereen zijn mening horen en dan een knoop doorhakken? Euh, gelukkig niet. In deze podcast halen we dit misverstand de wereld uit. Wat is gedragen besluitvorming dan wel? En moet elk besluit gedragen genomen worden in mijn organisatie? - Wil jij een organisatievraag indienen? Mail dan naar Hade@thetinyoffice.com met in het onderwerp ORGANISATIEVRAAG en jouw vraag in de mail. Je vraag wordt anoniem behandeld. - Welkom op 8 en 9 mei op de tweedaagse conflictbewustzijn. Hier vind je meer info: www.thetinyacademy.nl/conflictbewust…agse-training/ - Welkom op 19 en 20 juni op de tweedaagse rond besluitvorming. Hier vind je meer info: www.thetinyacademy.nl/clinic-besluit…daagse-cursus/ - Welkom op de zomerweek: www.thetinyacademy.nl/zomerweek-schemerlicht/ - En bestel de bundel van Merel: www.merelsteinweg.nl/ Fijn als je inschrijft voor de nieuwsbrief. Haal ons wel even uit je spam-folder :): thetinyoffice.activehosted.com/f/1 Wil je ons op koffie trakteren? Gebruik dit linkje: bunq.me/HadewijchWouters0 Tot morgen! Hade & Merel

- Et toi tu fais quoi dans la vie ? - Je suis chercheuse en psychologie cognitive. - Ah, tu devrais étudier mon cerveau, je suis sûr.e que tu y trouverais quelque chose d'intéressant ! - Euh j'ai plus l'habitude de faire passer des expériences à des groupes de participant.es volontaires. - Ah, tu manipules les gens comme des rats de laboratoire c'est ça ? Voilà, ça c'est ce à quoi j'ai le droit quand je parle de recherche en psychologie. Et c'est normal. La psychologie étudie l'esprit et le comportement humain. Ça et les représentations de vilains scientifiques comme le docteur Frankenstein, facile de s'imaginer les pires scénarios. Et des dérives, il y en a eu ! Par exemple, dans les expériences de Stanley Milgram, des participant.es ont été incité.es à infliger des chocs électriques qu'ils pensaient potentiellement mortels à d'autres sous l'autorité d'un expérimentateur, sans savoir le vrai but de l'étude, ce qui a causé une grande détresse chez certain.e.s (1, 2, 3). Heureusement, les choses ont bien évolué, les psychologues n'en font plus qu'à leur tête ! Nous faisons en sorte d'agir de façon moralement responsable. Le questionnement éthique est donc au centre de notre pratique. https://milgram.ulb.be/100g/episodes-100g/pratiques-ethiques/

Ma poulette à roulette, quelle part de ton temps consacres-tu à l'acquisition de nouveaux clients? “Euh, Marine, je ne sais pas trop…” (Pour me répondre pour de vrai, envoie-moi un mp sur Linkedin 

Franchement, combien sommes-nous à avoir tourné les singles et les deux albums de Phil Collins au début des années 80 ? Des disques étonnants, bien loin de la musique de Genesis, c'est vrai, il y avait des tubes qui ont plu à tous les publics. Mais quand même, les albums avaient aussi leur quota de chansons plus ambitieuses, avec de solides trouvailles sonores. Déjà leur titre : Face Value et Hello I must be going, une référence à Groucho Marx, fallait oser !Alors pourquoi change-t-il de braquet avec celui-ci, qui paraît fin janvier 1985, No jacket Required ? Parce que justement, je suis tout sauf guindé, répond Collins. Bien sûr, le titre ne lui est pas tombé tout chaud, c'est le cas de le dire, car ce soir où Phil est en vacances dans les Caraïbes, il se présente dans un restaurant avec sa femme mais le maître d'hôtel l'arrête en lui demandant d'enfiler une veste.Mais je n'ai pas de veste, mon ami, nous sommes dans un pays chaud et je suis en vacances !Un client dans la file devant lui, se retourne alors pour lui faire comprendre que la veste est obligatoire : Jacket Required ! Phil Collins se fait donc refuser l'entrée. C'est pas tous les jours. Enfin, pas tous les jours, … Ce soir de la tournée où Phil accompagne Robert Plant l'ex-chanteur de Led Zeppelin dont il vient de produire les deux albums, les deux copains descendus à l'hôtel Ambassador de Chicago descendent, justement, boire un verre au bar de l'hôtel. Là pour le coup, il fait froid, Phil porte un magnifique blouson de cuir, Robert une veste à carreaux WillyWear, genre amerloque, aux couleurs bien criardes. Mais voilà que le barman fait remarquer à Monsieur Collins qu'il doit passer une veste pour pouvoir se faire servir. Mais je porte une veste, mon gars !Euh non, une vraie veste, Monsieur, pas en cuir.Allons bon, Robert est habillé comme un clown de chez Barnum et on ne lui dit rien. Moi je porte un truc de créateur, digne de la fashion week, et je fais tache. Ce n'est pas possible, ce Jacket required va tourner à la malédiction !Évidemment, le succès prodigieux de ce disque conduisant Collins sur les plateaux des plus grands talks shows, il raconte ses anecdotes de jaquette, ce qui, bien sûr, ne manque d'être vu par les grands patrons des établissements cités. Ainsi Phil Collins reçoit-il chez lui, à Londres, une lettre à entête de l'Ambassador East qui lui demande, je cite, de cesser de parler de leur stupide code vestimentaire. Nous invitons à venir chez nous, quand vous voulez, vêtu comme vous voulez et autant que vous voulez, mais de grâce, cessez de parler de nous. Et à ce pli est joint un colis contenant une veste maculée d'éclaboussures de toutes les couleurs. Voilà des gens qui ne se prennent pas au sérieux, une autre époque, les années 80 avec ce code No Jacket Required.

Bonne nouvelle! L’équipe de Welcome! est enfin au complet cette semaine! Euh, ben non, en fait… Si Jeff de la Tourette et Jean-Hubert de Saint-Hilaire sont fidèles au poste, si Taberdan de Queb’ est revenu des enfers pour vous, pour reconquérir le cœur des auditeurs, cette semaine, c’est Candice de Traviole qui nous a fait […] L'article Welcome du 15 02 25 et Tugsby Tower Exprience Ep. 7 est apparu en premier sur Radio Campus Tours - 99.5 FM.

Les années 70 ! Les années folles du showbiz français. Hallyday, Sardou, Dutronc, Polnareff, en dehors du studio et de la scène, la vie est un jeu. Michel Polnareff avoue qu'à cette époque, un rien l'amusait. Un rien qui a d'ailleurs fait sa mauvaise réputation auprès des hôtels parisiens. Comme cette fois où, en retard sur l'enregistrement d'une chanson, il promet une certaine compagnie féminine à son co-arrangeur s'ils arrivent à terminer dans les temps. Car chose faite, il va falloir tenir parole. Michel se retrouve donc dans l'ascenseur du Hilton avec sa surprise, en clair, quelques filles nues. Malheureusement l'ascenseur s'arrête à chaque étage et les portes s'ouvrent sur des clients horrifiés. Les plaintes pleuvent auprès de la direction et Polnareff se retrouve sur la liste noire des palaces parisiens. Et donc, un jour où il s'est encore fait refuser une chambre, il arrête sa Rolls devant le Concorde Lafayette, aujourd'hui le Hyatt de l'Etoile, réputé pour sa vue sur le tout Paris. Et alors que les portes coulissantes s'ouvrent le voilà qui rentre carrément dans le hall de l'hôtel avec sa voiture sans rien casser et la stoppe juste devant la réception.Vous êtes sûr que vous n'avez pas de chambre pour moi ?Euh, ah si !Polnareff sort alors de sa Rolls et donne les clés à un chasseur en lui disant, ne la garez pas trop loin de ma chambre, je déteste marcher.Et puis ce soir où, non loin du fameux drugstore des Champs Elysées, Michel est dans sa voiture avec quelques potes. Mais qu'attend-il ? Une camionnette se range devant lui. Il en sort un colleur d'affiches géantes qui commence son travail : placarder les annonces du prochain spectacle de Polnareff. Et lorsqu'il commence à coller le coin inférieur droit, ils le voient  s'arrêter, reculer et regarder, imité rapidement par une foule de badauds, stupéfaits par cette photo géante du chanteur montrant ses fesses. Michel et ses amis sont morts de rire. Sûr qu'on va en parler de ce spectacle !Oui, c'est clair, on en parle partout y compris au tribunal. Michel Polnareff et toute son équipe se retrouvent devant le juge pour attentat à la pudeur. Un juge qui voulant s'en sortir, lui fait comprendre que s'il s'agit d'un montage, que ce ne sont pas ses fesses à lui mais celles d'une femme, il n'y aura pas d'affaire.Ah non, monsieur le juge, il n'y a aucun collage ni trucage, ce sont les miennes.Mais pourquoi ?Je veux juste attirer l'attention sur mon spectacle. Au départ, je portais un pantalon moulant que j'ai vite trouvé superflu pendant la session photo.Michel Polnareff est condamné à une peine de prison avec sursis et à une amende de 120.000 francs français de l'époque, de quoi s'acheter deux petites maisons. Pas de doute, plus personne n'ignore que Polnareff est sur scène pour jouer sa musique et qu'il est à la mode.

Les copinous, l'intelligence artificielle va transformer notre façon de travailler! “Euh, Marine, t'es mignonne mais ça fait un moment qu'on est au courant…” D'accord, d'accord, ce n'est plus une actualité. D'ailleurs, pas mal de freelances ont déjà intégré l'IA dans leur quotidien. Dans les prochaines semaines, je vais leur tendre le

Mon caillette, cette MM, c'est un acte de résistance. “Euh, contre quoi Marine?” Contre l'espèce de frénésie qui nous tombe dessus à chaque début d'année et qui veut nous imposer de nous fixer des objectifs, là, maintenant. Je dis NON. Ou plutôt, je dis: ok pour travailler sur nos objectifs, poser des plans d'action… mais quand on veut. Tu me rejoins dans cette lutte? Pour me répondre, envoie-moi un mp sur Linkedin ou laisse-moi un mot sur le

Rumänien spelar en nyckelroll när försvaret av Europa ska stärkas. Men nu kan en Putin-vänlig högernationalist bli ny president och både EU och Nato håller andan inför den avgörande valomgången. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. Calin Georgescu går till val med ett tydligt budskap om ”Rumänien först”. Han nekar till att vilja ta landet ut ur EU och Nato, men anses stå för en tydligt EU- och Nato-kritisk linje. Detta samtidigt som Rumänien, grannland med Ukraina, spelar en nyckelroll när Europas försvar ska stärkas. I östra Rumänien vid Svarta havet, bara 40 mil från ockuperade Krim-halvön, byggs just nu Natos största flygbas i Europa.Protester när Georgien vänder sig bort från EUHör också om de senaste dagarnas protester i Georgien efter att landets nya regering stoppat processen för ett framtida EU-medlemskap. Återigen möter demonstranter med EU-flaggor tårgas och vattenkanoner på Tbilisis gator och det har rapporterats om våldsamma sammandrabbningar på flera håll.Medverkande: Andreas Liljeheden, Brysselkorrespondent. Milan Djelevic, Östeuropakorrespondent. Johanna Melén, utrikesreporter på Ekot. Programledare: Parisa HöglundProducent: Therese Rosenvinge

SUNNI BLU becomes a man. I guess. Golly. You sure do seem intolerant. Are you sure you don't want a Peloton. I want to live in a white neighborhood And make enough money That my white neighbors Actually respect me For whatever it is I do. Working on a Saturday. Calm down, Jew mom. I will not clam down. In this house, we abide by holy law! Hold on. What happened. I got distracted, this girl looks just like Edie Falco. Oh, I love Edie Falco. Right? I realized how bizarre my creative process really was, in that days I would get the most work done musically, I became physically restful, and complacent, not worrying about the gym so much as the energy I would use rather towards the music I was making, or the over all lacsidasical approach I took to everything. Not being an entirely-perfect stepford- divorcee with a bleach clean everything in my median space, I realized it was almost a more natural kind of creature that created my music; one who ate and acted normally, and was overall less of an anally retentive bitch—not to say that my normal self was not an anally retire bitch, I was, but it was that my creative process seemed to require more normalcy and averageness; eating regularly, What the fuck man. Idk. I got bored The wheels start turning The pages in my mind become phenomenon, I almost bought it I almost bought the dream; Another story arc. Trust, or don't trust? I don't know— these guys are like the ultimate fluffers… MEAT CIRCUS. MEAT CIRCUS. Okay, I love them. …did she light the candle? Oh look, a candle. Hm. SHE LIT THE CANDLE. SHE LIT THE CANDLE. THEY ADDED GPS TO EDC so then. How many of us are there. Hey. Everybody sit the fuck down, right now. [drones sit down] There she goes. Dammit. Why are you really this short in person? On God, because I'm really this short, irl. Skrillex. NO. Get over here for a second. Wanna go to Disneyland? On my life, I'm like in Cancun right now, but— But what? I'll catch the next flight. “The Uptopia” I thought about finagling a way to get into EDC for like 5 seconds before I remembered what it was, And that i'm a DJ And that it looks cool and all— But sounds, generally like a total nightmare. Not because it wouldn't be fun or anything- a It just wouldn't be fun— —for me. EDC part III Haven't I been to edc more than 3 times already. (Try like 30 times.) —that's enough times. THATS NOT ENOUGH TIMES GIMMIE MY BOX! DID YOU GET THE MAGNET . I GOT THE MAGNET. GET IN THE— Goddamn, dude. That's a lot of magnets. It's really not. Man, what the fuck would even happen if I fuckin actually focused on this project I don't know. I like, haven't focused on this project and it seems like, possibly, maybe I might have brokered some kind of deal that may or may not include Coca Cola and NBC. This dude might be trying to rule the world. All the dudes might be trying to rule the world, I think. Well, what if we put them all in a group together or something —seems—doable And maybe if they're not trying to kill each other, hey the end of of— Oh, look. World peace. Nice. —it. Hm. Let's just say, Altogether I give a total of actually zero fucks— Ah hah And at the end of the day, I just want some dick. How is that going to help achieve world peace, exactly. Fuck around and find out. Ladies. Here, yo. Guy, what's this. A midlife crisis waiting to happen. Oh no. Don't worry, it's almost over. My midlife crisis? No, the part before that. Jellyfishing. I don't know, Patrick, seems like kind of a strange day to go jellyfishing. Just—relax. Jesus Christ. (Soft telephone voice) This is the messiah speaking. Uh…hi. How may I direct your call? Uh… Hello. …is your dad home? Euh…probably not, but I can get you my mom. …that might work. Okay, hold on. (Not telephone voice—actually atrocious Boston accent) MAAAAA. …Jesus Christ. What? TELEPHONE. ring ring. Bitch! Ring ring ring! —bitch! Ring ring ring. —BITCH! Yo! What!! Answer the phone. The phone is ringing! Why do you keep saying “bitch”?! Cause that's a bitch ass telephone, bitch! This is improv! I know! And the first rule of improv is to not saying no, but I refuse to answer a telephone that just says “ring, ring”; that is not a realistic telephone, and so to that, I would just say—“bitch.” Bitch. That is not how improv works. I'ma aim at your head; you technically lost the game already stopping the scene; you said “ring-ring” I said “bitch”; you lost already, I done my part. What? Just—if you're gonna be a phone, be a phone, but don't just say “ring-ring” like that Take me all out of character and shit. What character?! All you said is “bitch!” And all you said was “ring-ring”, hoe—I ain't got time for this— What?! Just be a phone! THAT WAS A PHONE. What phone says ring-ring? Phone ring tone “Ring-ring!” What's that. That's my new ringtone. You're so lame. Well at least we got past the 90's and were clearly into the early two thousands. How do you know? That guy has a ringtone. Who is that guy, anyway—? wait a second! Oh shit. That's him! Get em! Ah, are we bringing back the Italians? I don't think they ever left, they've just been quiet. I want pizza. You're in luck. Goddamn kid! Pizza?! French fries. —I want chocolate cake. AND chocolate cake! Goddamn. You'd better be crafting a goddamn symphony. It's more of like a sonata. “The King Suite” Whatever! Just remember however far you get writing this album is how much more gym time it'll take to be taken seriously promoting it. I'm already promoting it. What, how? LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA DAY. welcome back, kid. Shut up; give me a house. Give me a house song! Okay. OKAY, now downtempo. Downtempo makes me sleepy— but whatever, here. Okay, now techno. Untz-untz—here you are. All it took me was seeing Tiesto's ancient ass plastered all over the place in Brooklyn to realize I don't think it'll ever be “too late” to be a DJ and perhaps I could stand to focus on my other masteries. Whatever. I want chocolate cake . You are gonna get so fat. So? So is she when she pops out three kids— And her music sucks. Sauciness is relative. It sounds like shit in a fucking sandwhich. Just remember tiestos wife is actually like a decade younger than you. Great. I'm looking forward to all my favorite DJ's cradle robbing fashion week for this exact fucking reason. Is that a dig on one of the most legendary dance music DJs of our time? No, it's more of another pondering as to why I wasn't born a 9 foot tall porcelain skin blonde European looking model. I must have done something wrong in a previous existence. Have you tried paddle boarding? That seems /lame Fun! If I start now, maybe by May I can be EDC fit. What's the point of being EDC fit and not going to EDC? Hm. Okay. I can get a peloton, Or EDC tickets— Which should it actually be? What's the point of having a peloton If you're not going to EDC. Correct. But also— Why bother going to EDC at all if you're not going to be mad ripped from riding a peloton all day in your apartment. Also facts. That's what I'm here for Suddenly, I was acting weird. [being weird] Well, weirder than usual. Suddenly, my mind was racing— I was running around my apartment frantically in a halter top that I was certain I looked fabulous in— [looking at least kind of fabulous] — lil bitz. I'm getting to the age where I haven't quite given up, But realizing I'm not going to be the ideal just kind of sits with me in little ways. I haven't let go of myself, I'm not all the way giving up, but I'm more like, settled and secure with myself. A little more self confident in knowing if I wanted just any old dude, I can go out and get one. But I've been saving myself for someone really special. I mean really. And it's been years since I had sex. Actual years, so like— I'm at the point where I can just keep waiting, But sometimes I realize how long it's been, For instance, when I'm shopping, And I'm just kind of, looking around online Figuring out exactly what I want— And I'm scrolling, looking at all the selections And I see this baguette— Like bread, guys. Like a French roll and I think to myself “I'll take that.” I'm getting kind of turned on just looking at it, like Realizing it's bread— I'm like “Ooh, look at this baguette… Oui oui.” lol the fuck is wrong with you. Honestly I'm just looking for vegan chocolate cake without having to make it. Are we a team? …uhhh… kinda depends on who is “we” But since I can hear you faintly in my head, I guess so. Suddenly, I had the feeling that I had written something recently that might at some point become important. Hey. What. I like your five year plan. What fucking five year plan. The one from five years ago. Oh. Wait—what. Let's make it an 8 year plan. You mean 8 years from…from 5 years ago? See, you are good at math. —I—wait, what plan. Okay [chuckles awkwardly] See you later. What. Man, why do like half the characters in this show look and sound like Dillon Francis. Cause they're Dillon Francis. Might as well be. I had also has realized at a certain point recently that I would probably never get married again, and in my own right had set out to be “The Ultimate Lover!” Get out of here, Skrillex. What in the fuck is with that dude. What's wrong with him anyway. Something. Get out. FUCK, HE'S DEAD. Oh well. Not oh well! Someone's definitely gonna be upset about his. Probably! But that's an entirely seperate demographic. We can't be concerned with that. Not our business, The man is dead! You don't know, maybe he's just in A k-hole! [super duper dead] Whatever man. Just— Can you at least give me a hand with his legs. He's heavy. How can he be taller than he looks on TV— Goddamn, he wreaks! He hasn't even been dead long enough for that. I know, he just wreaks, man. Whatever. Look. Just— Ugh— Let's roll him into that tent over there. What. Just roll him in-/ Agh. And hurry up— Virtual Riot is about to start. Goddamn. The wooks. These aren't any ordinary wooks. They're frat boys Oh, that headdress, though. You remember the headdress! I remember the everything, I'm just— trying to forget. Crimes. Or at least—pretending to. You remember David after the dentist? [David after the dentist] AAAAAGAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Well, this is James after The Jam. Mm. What kind Of Jam is this! It's—Jelly. Ah. You're dead. It's—really good. You know what— This is Sauerkraut. Happy accidents is getting weird. Man. I like it. Untz untz untz I just found this out, and I'm over the moon like exactic about this— I just found out you can like, totally buy 5 lbs of marijuana Over the internet. For what? I don't know. Sounds like a deal. Sign me up. Anyway, I found this out— Because I found this bread I like Yes— I know Bread to marijuana We are—making connections— Anyway, I found this bread I like From this one place, And I love this place so much That I begin buying this bread regularly— I love it so much that, I'm looking through all their breads in their bakery and I realize, “Holy shit—they just have the most insane bakery, ever.” Like all the breads are sounding phenomenal— They're real bread— Most bread if it's real bread is vegan, So I'm looking through the bread like, “Holy shit, this all sounds fire—“ And when I like a place a lot— Especially in New York, I get weird about it. Like, I want to know the origins of the place. I love history— History—cannabis—and bread, I know. “Whose the lucky guy?!” lol. Nobody, obviously— if this is my life; but I digress. I'm looking at all these breads, All these artisanal, like— Fresh cakes and, Really unique like, Breads of every kind— And I start thinking to myself “I love this place.” “I love this place” So I start thinking about like the origins of this place— You know like, historically— Like, Sometimes you find cool stuff out about a place Macy's or whatever, Has cool history— Like the oldest surviving wooden escalator Being at the flagship department store in midtown Stuff like that. I love history— So I go to look up this place— I type this place into the search bar with absolutely no other specifications than I think, The name— And the first link that comes up Is a fire sale of 5 pounds of “hemp flower” But from the picture I can see that it's evidently really Complete marijuana— Actual cannabis flower; So I look into this matter, and I investigate this link a little further to figure out— “What is this?” And as it turns out, my suspicions are correct, You can now obtain large quantities of marijuana Via a Google search— By complete accident. I'm like, “Woah!” [Bookmark the page and shit.] “Keep that in there for later…” You know, just in case I ever have $2,200 dollars roughly of disposable income and ever feel like upstarting my very own drug enterprise… Er, restarting— But the drug enterprise I had in college was nothing like this— This is next level. Its the internet age now, buddy! Shit is legitimate. Wait, sorry— is the statute of limitations up yet? Whatever. Leave no trace. There—are bigger fish to fry. lol. Bread, man. I love bread. You make me mad, But I'm still in love with you; You might be far, but I'm still in love with you You might do bad, but I'm still in love with you Come back to bed; You know I'm still in love with you You make me mad, But I'm still in love with you; You might be far, but I'm still in love with you You might do bad, but I'm still in love with you Come back to bed; You know I'm still in love with you Doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you) Cause it doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you It doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you) I'm still in love with you— You know I'm still in love with you. You know what— Huh— Does lemon raspberry sound better or like, This caramel toffee? You know I love a good lemon ice cream— Lemon custard Posh. Ah, the hedons are back. /*herons (You know Insomniac's making their rounds. ) Getdamoney Getdamoney getda— Woah— hold up, what is this I don't know Looks lucrative Facts Hmmm— Worthwhile investment, perhaps Maybe, maybe Very well Getdamoney Getdamoney Getdamoney Take a look at this young buck, they said. So I did. Turns out, the jokes on me. Me, and all my old friends In all my old lives On all my old world Play games In other words, The world goes on, Then off, Then it goes on, We come home— To laugh with one another Me and my friends, We play games Out of body Mind games In the body Play lives, All for entertainment In the old world, We said “One” Off we run, I said So on, comes dawn again We all talk of old reunion. We all talk of— FUCK, man. It's non dairy. I don't give a fuck about your ice cream! We're all on ice cream. I don't give a fuck about ice cream! On, you don't. No! Alright. Done. You know, it's like one door opens— Another door closes; And that's true— But whatever fucking weird drone robots They're probably paying to just come in one door And out the other Are karma cannons— And by that I mean— Whatever's disturbing me; Will eventually disturb them— And maybe, just maybe— In the same annoying way. So one day somebody wakes up and writes an anthology saga about you. It's not about you, it's about me— That's what I said. And that's probably what happened anyway—is what I'm thinking—and either way, I'm just the protagonist of that series, anyway. That's—logical, I'm thinking. I'm also thinking. Man. It feels so good to just sit in silence. Yeah. It does. Didn't you want kids? Whatever. Abusive relationships suck. My version of our kid is hands down way better then your version of our kid. Hands down. Let's get down to the nitti grotti of things here. Nitty Gritty. 11:30. But that's when Tranwrexk is playing. Who the fuck is teaintwrext. No, it's. Whatever. Nitti gritti Okay, so I'm obviously like, not going to forget the lady beating the shit out of her dog at the Trader Joe's— But I think maybe even the best part about it was the fact that it was like, a pug. I'm not really ready to go out in public or anything-1 I don't know— I'm like traumatized by the disparity of the human race, or whatever. But shout out to the lady beating the shit out of her dog at the Trader Joe's. I don't know what he did. But if you're gonna beat your pug at the Trader Joe's, he probably deserved it. Goddamn you Marc Jacobs! This is what you get for leaving a puddle in produce section! Goddammit! What else are you gonna name a purebred pug that you take everywhere with you— Including Trader Joe's? “This is Marc Jacobs” We thought he was a puggle but it turns out he was a purebreed and we just got so lucky! He gets nervous around people— Sometimes especially at the Trader Joe's He just gets so excited! Bad Marx Jacobs! BAD! On another note why am I just not automatically genetically built like a 6'5 Scandinavian chick. Like, it's cool my legs don't grow any hair at all, but goddamnit I would rather walk fashion week and just— Automatically never be hungry. Imagine giving birth to a supermodel baby and just Here, baby— take this The baby is like: *milks for two seconds* Alright, I'm good. Are you sure, baby. The baby's like “I'm— all full” Are you sure? Baby's like yeah— put me on the treadmill for an hour, would you? I gotta go fast-crawl this all off. Breastmilk, whew. Heavy shit. Just set the incline to all the way up, alright— And make sure I turn up the propane pig to high volume I want to make sure I'm deaf in one ear And only have one brain cell I don't want them to think I talk to much. Mom's like, “Um, okay— are you sure you don't just want like, more breastmilk” Baby's like “No ma, put me on the treadmill and shut the fuck yo you fat cow!” Goddammit, alright. That's— Some kids are just born destined to be— whatever— you know? Me? I was destined to like food, but be pretty much allergic to it— Pretty much allergic to all of it. Not in the typical sense of like having a food allergy— Not getting hives or anything Just— Prone to max weight gain after minimal, regular fucking eating— Minimal fucking eating And maximum effort in the gym just equals More muscle Which, then, The excess fat will just sit on top of Sort of like— Just double fucking bad. It's insane. So that's two waist trainers Correct Two sauna suits Oh my God, what if he's actually 6'3? Who's 6'3?! Getawayfromme. Shoot that nigga. You have a nice double chin. Thanks, I got it myself Liz Nice. Comedy Central presents: roast of the hosts The comics of late night tv roast each other l HOw many jokes do I need? A lot. Let's start with the favorite Favorite? Nah. Jimmy Fallon looks constpated. Every time I see that dude, I'm like— —?! What's wrong with him. Also— Why do you look like the off brand version of Justin long? I smell a conspiracy. And aspercreme. What's up with your cheeks, bro? Are you a hippopotamus? — Jay Leno is like God's version of a live action caricature. _____ Why are you all Irish? ____ Kimmel— what kind of bird are you? —- . —- I've heard exchanging insults is like foreplay for comedians; now I'm genuinely starting to wonder how many of these specials have turned over into orgies. I always had a special feeling about Justin Bieber and Martha Stewart. I'm pretty sure we all did. Mama had a shotgun— And daddy hated broken glass I drink out of broken bottles Clasps slip from the hands That can't Grab Shit you're too fucking tall, anyway. The only person who's actually bigger than they look on TV Fuck that. What are you, 6'10? Stay the fuck over there yeo ming. Who drew you, Disney/Pixar? How do you be in a photo from head to toe; full body in the frame and still not be in the picture? This m'fucker's a ghost. Oh look. It's everyone's favorite blow up doll. WHY DO U LOOK ASIAN? WHO TF DID UR DAD KILL IN NAM? –KOREA? EITHER WAY. YOU'RE ASIAN BRO. You seem like that kid that used to walk up on his tiiiy toes and shit. You're weird, bro. That kid that used to walk up— —like this— That's that guy. Devil can't catch me if I don't sit still Still love Run around the world Ring around the Rosie I'm not broke, I jus got. Photo shoot coming up Hang up yo on the fence, Like paint I dry, Simi dinner hard Try hard see the light, go To the light now Go now, my time has come m Go where, how? It's time now for me to depart, my dear Ishii. Why—how?! Because, my boy—the time has come Time not what is! Time be us, you and I! And as we are, my dear boy. I must go. Time nothing but mind is you and I… You are right. Time — is— time. Ishii begins to cry softly, and then weep. Fair for fair and follow for follow— There not are I, And away we went, With wind and time, And the way was one The inside of a year, As the waking of dawn. At dawn, I strike— But was not called To weep, I wake, the tire of tale And yet the sun was in my heart, Yet not in my mind as the sky, And not in the time as the wind, and still, mi follow to love again I always call, And there, the wind where wind does lie, Not I, awake, but I instead as Sunset Again as time had sat upon my should And like bird does cry, The still be wind has shattered my love And in heart lives in such such dusk As pain, my heart, The wicked beauty, Shadowed and stranded Yet I awaken, And here ye, The vow dost took is not aligned— There I was, the call of once The statuesque and haunting Bleeding dry the river's way And almost as such there though of tears With yet had formed all shallow, and none The call of ways I mask misfortunes, There does bear a truth to the tree which bears fruit And give way to time, I am as oceans, Still as steady water's sky, and come what may Of all we have, There nothing lost, And there were fortunes True to shine as gold, And there in no way, Under us. Wax does melt but has not burned, As shadowtimes had set upon us, There, the call was made, and yes The wind had sat upon the waking dawn of eye And there, again the warrior ready for none other than the song of I, The cry of war, does wait unsettled in her wailing As their call had come As of naught, And then came, As does one. Be fair. Daggers! I rot. “Be fair”, says he. Daggers. I rot! Be fair, says I. Nay, The King. True, tis I. —and daggars! I rot. Wary. I find. So then, To have walked among the living and yet are dead— still you, waiting in quarry, Are now I not as King, As though now dost lie slain. Very. A greeting! Seeing now how such has i, Have passed and still yet waiting in how l My waking This fucker just won't die! Well, he can't. He can! (He should.) He has. Oh. Are you triggered. I knew I just have been getting somewhat important Somewhat. I figured this out when they started having people show up after I get to the gym. I knew they were all the same like people, cause for the the most part, they weren't working out, they would just like, align themselves with me, do a few pumps and then do whatever on their phones This one dude came in, and I was already sick of being followed Hadn't been to the gym in a few days cause these people just fucking bother me. Just fucking blows my mind how stupid people are— And I realized something really wrong with people. Like people are really fucked up inthe head, so, This is what I did, when I realized, they weren't going to stop fucking with me in a certain way, I started fucking with them back. I went upstairs to work out, started doing circuits. Did some pumps up stairs, Run the stairs like laps, Hit the tension machine, Kettlebells, Treadmill, then another circuit— {Enter The Multiverse} And I knew whoever was sending these people We're focused on fucking me up; Cause the people they sent were always like— Some kind of trigger. I knew it was some high level programming; They would send like a pretty girl with long hair To fuck me up Or some fat ugly dude who looked like my ex husband, Fat and shit, And they wouldn't workout much, they would just like, fuck around, then hit the phone— And I realized people were really fucking sick In the head, when I realized, After I psyched the fuck out of this fat dude Just fucking running circles around him and shit, Lifting more than he was struggling to fucking lift This dude is all upper body No fucking cardio No fucking legs Weak dick motherfucker. And I realized how sick people were when he goes up stairs And this is how else I know people are fucking with me They'll always get on the phone, And use their phones as intimidation and shit “Hi, yeah, yeah— I'm checking in. I'm a pussy ass robot and shit. Okay. Bye now. Wait—did you hit my cashapp yet? Okay thanks” How you know it's like an app or some shit. Fucking drones, man. But I could tell they were sick and I was somewhere in my way to wellness when, the dude left, then goes upstairs and gets on the phone, and I'm still downstairs and I'm like “Okay, since they're gonna keep fucking with me—when is the end of this album?” I went to check and I knew the album was an hour long— And I look and the album is on the last track and I thought to myself “I haven't touched my phone in at least an hour…” This dude has been in the gym for half the time and has almost not been off the phone He was on the phone more than working out And that's when I realized, Whether I skip a few days at the gym or not Whether I do what everybody else is doing or not Just that alone is rare. He was in the gym maybe a half hour or less And between every single set, he's on the phone Just like all of the other people who seemed to have been following me— And I realized That maybe they weren't even following me on purpose. Maybe they were being remotely sent in my direction somehow with their phones, without their intention or knowing. That is a possibility— And I knew the world had changed in a way that could possibly become dangerous, after being told for x amount of years we needed a SIM card, I've had my phone for almost 5 years, same model; up until now we “needed” a simcard— Now all of a sudden they're letting us know in one way or another “Hey, no we've always been able to remote control your phone” They've inteoduced the “e sim” which is their subtle way of letting you know They've always been able to turn on your phone signal Without you even knowing. Now they're selling you this technology “Oh, you don't need a sim—e sim” I looked, I didn't think my phone would be clmpatible It's a 5 year old model. “Oh no—it's compatible! Congratulations” Which means even 5 years ago before this technology became consumer, They had the ability to open your phone make calls texts and connect to a network They're just now letting you know This has been around for at least a decade And now they're selling it to you. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

SUNNI BLU becomes a man. I guess. Golly. You sure do seem intolerant. Are you sure you don't want a Peloton. I want to live in a white neighborhood And make enough money That my white neighbors Actually respect me For whatever it is I do. Working on a Saturday. Calm down, Jew mom. I will not clam down. In this house, we abide by holy law! Hold on. What happened. I got distracted, this girl looks just like Edie Falco. Oh, I love Edie Falco. Right? I realized how bizarre my creative process really was, in that days I would get the most work done musically, I became physically restful, and complacent, not worrying about the gym so much as the energy I would use rather towards the music I was making, or the over all lacsidasical approach I took to everything. Not being an entirely-perfect stepford- divorcee with a bleach clean everything in my median space, I realized it was almost a more natural kind of creature that created my music; one who ate and acted normally, and was overall less of an anally retentive bitch—not to say that my normal self was not an anally retire bitch, I was, but it was that my creative process seemed to require more normalcy and averageness; eating regularly, What the fuck man. Idk. I got bored The wheels start turning The pages in my mind become phenomenon, I almost bought it I almost bought the dream; Another story arc. Trust, or don't trust? I don't know— these guys are like the ultimate fluffers… MEAT CIRCUS. MEAT CIRCUS. Okay, I love them. …did she light the candle? Oh look, a candle. Hm. SHE LIT THE CANDLE. SHE LIT THE CANDLE. THEY ADDED GPS TO EDC so then. How many of us are there. Hey. Everybody sit the fuck down, right now. [drones sit down] There she goes. Dammit. Why are you really this short in person? On God, because I'm really this short, irl. Skrillex. NO. Get over here for a second. Wanna go to Disneyland? On my life, I'm like in Cancun right now, but— But what? I'll catch the next flight. “The Uptopia” I thought about finagling a way to get into EDC for like 5 seconds before I remembered what it was, And that i'm a DJ And that it looks cool and all— But sounds, generally like a total nightmare. Not because it wouldn't be fun or anything- a It just wouldn't be fun— —for me. EDC part III Haven't I been to edc more than 3 times already. (Try like 30 times.) —that's enough times. THATS NOT ENOUGH TIMES GIMMIE MY BOX! DID YOU GET THE MAGNET . I GOT THE MAGNET. GET IN THE— Goddamn, dude. That's a lot of magnets. It's really not. Man, what the fuck would even happen if I fuckin actually focused on this project I don't know. I like, haven't focused on this project and it seems like, possibly, maybe I might have brokered some kind of deal that may or may not include Coca Cola and NBC. This dude might be trying to rule the world. All the dudes might be trying to rule the world, I think. Well, what if we put them all in a group together or something —seems—doable And maybe if they're not trying to kill each other, hey the end of of— Oh, look. World peace. Nice. —it. Hm. Let's just say, Altogether I give a total of actually zero fucks— Ah hah And at the end of the day, I just want some dick. How is that going to help achieve world peace, exactly. Fuck around and find out. Ladies. Here, yo. Guy, what's this. A midlife crisis waiting to happen. Oh no. Don't worry, it's almost over. My midlife crisis? No, the part before that. Jellyfishing. I don't know, Patrick, seems like kind of a strange day to go jellyfishing. Just—relax. Jesus Christ. (Soft telephone voice) This is the messiah speaking. Uh…hi. How may I direct your call? Uh… Hello. …is your dad home? Euh…probably not, but I can get you my mom. …that might work. Okay, hold on. (Not telephone voice—actually atrocious Boston accent) MAAAAA. …Jesus Christ. What? TELEPHONE. ring ring. Bitch! Ring ring ring! —bitch! Ring ring ring. —BITCH! Yo! What!! Answer the phone. The phone is ringing! Why do you keep saying “bitch”?! Cause that's a bitch ass telephone, bitch! This is improv! I know! And the first rule of improv is to not saying no, but I refuse to answer a telephone that just says “ring, ring”; that is not a realistic telephone, and so to that, I would just say—“bitch.” Bitch. That is not how improv works. I'ma aim at your head; you technically lost the game already stopping the scene; you said “ring-ring” I said “bitch”; you lost already, I done my part. What? Just—if you're gonna be a phone, be a phone, but don't just say “ring-ring” like that Take me all out of character and shit. What character?! All you said is “bitch!” And all you said was “ring-ring”, hoe—I ain't got time for this— What?! Just be a phone! THAT WAS A PHONE. What phone says ring-ring? Phone ring tone “Ring-ring!” What's that. That's my new ringtone. You're so lame. Well at least we got past the 90's and were clearly into the early two thousands. How do you know? That guy has a ringtone. Who is that guy, anyway—? wait a second! Oh shit. That's him! Get em! Ah, are we bringing back the Italians? I don't think they ever left, they've just been quiet. I want pizza. You're in luck. Goddamn kid! Pizza?! French fries. —I want chocolate cake. AND chocolate cake! Goddamn. You'd better be crafting a goddamn symphony. It's more of like a sonata. “The King Suite” Whatever! Just remember however far you get writing this album is how much more gym time it'll take to be taken seriously promoting it. I'm already promoting it. What, how? LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA DAY. welcome back, kid. Shut up; give me a house. Give me a house song! Okay. OKAY, now downtempo. Downtempo makes me sleepy— but whatever, here. Okay, now techno. Untz-untz—here you are. All it took me was seeing Tiesto's ancient ass plastered all over the place in Brooklyn to realize I don't think it'll ever be “too late” to be a DJ and perhaps I could stand to focus on my other masteries. Whatever. I want chocolate cake . You are gonna get so fat. So? So is she when she pops out three kids— And her music sucks. Sauciness is relative. It sounds like shit in a fucking sandwhich. Just remember tiestos wife is actually like a decade younger than you. Great. I'm looking forward to all my favorite DJ's cradle robbing fashion week for this exact fucking reason. Is that a dig on one of the most legendary dance music DJs of our time? No, it's more of another pondering as to why I wasn't born a 9 foot tall porcelain skin blonde European looking model. I must have done something wrong in a previous existence. Have you tried paddle boarding? That seems /lame Fun! If I start now, maybe by May I can be EDC fit. What's the point of being EDC fit and not going to EDC? Hm. Okay. I can get a peloton, Or EDC tickets— Which should it actually be? What's the point of having a peloton If you're not going to EDC. Correct. But also— Why bother going to EDC at all if you're not going to be mad ripped from riding a peloton all day in your apartment. Also facts. That's what I'm here for Suddenly, I was acting weird. [being weird] Well, weirder than usual. Suddenly, my mind was racing— I was running around my apartment frantically in a halter top that I was certain I looked fabulous in— [looking at least kind of fabulous] — lil bitz. I'm getting to the age where I haven't quite given up, But realizing I'm not going to be the ideal just kind of sits with me in little ways. I haven't let go of myself, I'm not all the way giving up, but I'm more like, settled and secure with myself. A little more self confident in knowing if I wanted just any old dude, I can go out and get one. But I've been saving myself for someone really special. I mean really. And it's been years since I had sex. Actual years, so like— I'm at the point where I can just keep waiting, But sometimes I realize how long it's been, For instance, when I'm shopping, And I'm just kind of, looking around online Figuring out exactly what I want— And I'm scrolling, looking at all the selections And I see this baguette— Like bread, guys. Like a French roll and I think to myself “I'll take that.” I'm getting kind of turned on just looking at it, like Realizing it's bread— I'm like “Ooh, look at this baguette… Oui oui.” lol the fuck is wrong with you. Honestly I'm just looking for vegan chocolate cake without having to make it. Are we a team? …uhhh… kinda depends on who is “we” But since I can hear you faintly in my head, I guess so. Suddenly, I had the feeling that I had written something recently that might at some point become important. Hey. What. I like your five year plan. What fucking five year plan. The one from five years ago. Oh. Wait—what. Let's make it an 8 year plan. You mean 8 years from…from 5 years ago? See, you are good at math. —I—wait, what plan. Okay [chuckles awkwardly] See you later. What. Man, why do like half the characters in this show look and sound like Dillon Francis. Cause they're Dillon Francis. Might as well be. I had also has realized at a certain point recently that I would probably never get married again, and in my own right had set out to be “The Ultimate Lover!” Get out of here, Skrillex. What in the fuck is with that dude. What's wrong with him anyway. Something. Get out. FUCK, HE'S DEAD. Oh well. Not oh well! Someone's definitely gonna be upset about his. Probably! But that's an entirely seperate demographic. We can't be concerned with that. Not our business, The man is dead! You don't know, maybe he's just in A k-hole! [super duper dead] Whatever man. Just— Can you at least give me a hand with his legs. He's heavy. How can he be taller than he looks on TV— Goddamn, he wreaks! He hasn't even been dead long enough for that. I know, he just wreaks, man. Whatever. Look. Just— Ugh— Let's roll him into that tent over there. What. Just roll him in-/ Agh. And hurry up— Virtual Riot is about to start. Goddamn. The wooks. These aren't any ordinary wooks. They're frat boys Oh, that headdress, though. You remember the headdress! I remember the everything, I'm just— trying to forget. Crimes. Or at least—pretending to. You remember David after the dentist? [David after the dentist] AAAAAGAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Well, this is James after The Jam. Mm. What kind Of Jam is this! It's—Jelly. Ah. You're dead. It's—really good. You know what— This is Sauerkraut. Happy accidents is getting weird. Man. I like it. Untz untz untz I just found this out, and I'm over the moon like exactic about this— I just found out you can like, totally buy 5 lbs of marijuana Over the internet. For what? I don't know. Sounds like a deal. Sign me up. Anyway, I found this out— Because I found this bread I like Yes— I know Bread to marijuana We are—making connections— Anyway, I found this bread I like From this one place, And I love this place so much That I begin buying this bread regularly— I love it so much that, I'm looking through all their breads in their bakery and I realize, “Holy shit—they just have the most insane bakery, ever.” Like all the breads are sounding phenomenal— They're real bread— Most bread if it's real bread is vegan, So I'm looking through the bread like, “Holy shit, this all sounds fire—“ And when I like a place a lot— Especially in New York, I get weird about it. Like, I want to know the origins of the place. I love history— History—cannabis—and bread, I know. “Whose the lucky guy?!” lol. Nobody, obviously— if this is my life; but I digress. I'm looking at all these breads, All these artisanal, like— Fresh cakes and, Really unique like, Breads of every kind— And I start thinking to myself “I love this place.” “I love this place” So I start thinking about like the origins of this place— You know like, historically— Like, Sometimes you find cool stuff out about a place Macy's or whatever, Has cool history— Like the oldest surviving wooden escalator Being at the flagship department store in midtown Stuff like that. I love history— So I go to look up this place— I type this place into the search bar with absolutely no other specifications than I think, The name— And the first link that comes up Is a fire sale of 5 pounds of “hemp flower” But from the picture I can see that it's evidently really Complete marijuana— Actual cannabis flower; So I look into this matter, and I investigate this link a little further to figure out— “What is this?” And as it turns out, my suspicions are correct, You can now obtain large quantities of marijuana Via a Google search— By complete accident. I'm like, “Woah!” [Bookmark the page and shit.] “Keep that in there for later…” You know, just in case I ever have $2,200 dollars roughly of disposable income and ever feel like upstarting my very own drug enterprise… Er, restarting— But the drug enterprise I had in college was nothing like this— This is next level. Its the internet age now, buddy! Shit is legitimate. Wait, sorry— is the statute of limitations up yet? Whatever. Leave no trace. There—are bigger fish to fry. lol. Bread, man. I love bread. You make me mad, But I'm still in love with you; You might be far, but I'm still in love with you You might do bad, but I'm still in love with you Come back to bed; You know I'm still in love with you You make me mad, But I'm still in love with you; You might be far, but I'm still in love with you You might do bad, but I'm still in love with you Come back to bed; You know I'm still in love with you Doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you) Cause it doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you It doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you) I'm still in love with you— You know I'm still in love with you. You know what— Huh— Does lemon raspberry sound better or like, This caramel toffee? You know I love a good lemon ice cream— Lemon custard Posh. Ah, the hedons are back. /*herons (You know Insomniac's making their rounds. ) Getdamoney Getdamoney getda— Woah— hold up, what is this I don't know Looks lucrative Facts Hmmm— Worthwhile investment, perhaps Maybe, maybe Very well Getdamoney Getdamoney Getdamoney Take a look at this young buck, they said. So I did. Turns out, the jokes on me. Me, and all my old friends In all my old lives On all my old world Play games In other words, The world goes on, Then off, Then it goes on, We come home— To laugh with one another Me and my friends, We play games Out of body Mind games In the body Play lives, All for entertainment In the old world, We said “One” Off we run, I said So on, comes dawn again We all talk of old reunion. We all talk of— FUCK, man. It's non dairy. I don't give a fuck about your ice cream! We're all on ice cream. I don't give a fuck about ice cream! On, you don't. No! Alright. Done. You know, it's like one door opens— Another door closes; And that's true— But whatever fucking weird drone robots They're probably paying to just come in one door And out the other Are karma cannons— And by that I mean— Whatever's disturbing me; Will eventually disturb them— And maybe, just maybe— In the same annoying way. So one day somebody wakes up and writes an anthology saga about you. It's not about you, it's about me— That's what I said. And that's probably what happened anyway—is what I'm thinking—and either way, I'm just the protagonist of that series, anyway. That's—logical, I'm thinking. I'm also thinking. Man. It feels so good to just sit in silence. Yeah. It does. Didn't you want kids? Whatever. Abusive relationships suck. My version of our kid is hands down way better then your version of our kid. Hands down. Let's get down to the nitti grotti of things here. Nitty Gritty. 11:30. But that's when Tranwrexk is playing. Who the fuck is teaintwrext. No, it's. Whatever. Nitti gritti Okay, so I'm obviously like, not going to forget the lady beating the shit out of her dog at the Trader Joe's— But I think maybe even the best part about it was the fact that it was like, a pug. I'm not really ready to go out in public or anything-1 I don't know— I'm like traumatized by the disparity of the human race, or whatever. But shout out to the lady beating the shit out of her dog at the Trader Joe's. I don't know what he did. But if you're gonna beat your pug at the Trader Joe's, he probably deserved it. Goddamn you Marc Jacobs! This is what you get for leaving a puddle in produce section! Goddammit! What else are you gonna name a purebred pug that you take everywhere with you— Including Trader Joe's? “This is Marc Jacobs” We thought he was a puggle but it turns out he was a purebreed and we just got so lucky! He gets nervous around people— Sometimes especially at the Trader Joe's He just gets so excited! Bad Marx Jacobs! BAD! On another note why am I just not automatically genetically built like a 6'5 Scandinavian chick. Like, it's cool my legs don't grow any hair at all, but goddamnit I would rather walk fashion week and just— Automatically never be hungry. Imagine giving birth to a supermodel baby and just Here, baby— take this The baby is like: *milks for two seconds* Alright, I'm good. Are you sure, baby. The baby's like “I'm— all full” Are you sure? Baby's like yeah— put me on the treadmill for an hour, would you? I gotta go fast-crawl this all off. Breastmilk, whew. Heavy shit. Just set the incline to all the way up, alright— And make sure I turn up the propane pig to high volume I want to make sure I'm deaf in one ear And only have one brain cell I don't want them to think I talk to much. Mom's like, “Um, okay— are you sure you don't just want like, more breastmilk” Baby's like “No ma, put me on the treadmill and shut the fuck yo you fat cow!” Goddammit, alright. That's— Some kids are just born destined to be— whatever— you know? Me? I was destined to like food, but be pretty much allergic to it— Pretty much allergic to all of it. Not in the typical sense of like having a food allergy— Not getting hives or anything Just— Prone to max weight gain after minimal, regular fucking eating— Minimal fucking eating And maximum effort in the gym just equals More muscle Which, then, The excess fat will just sit on top of Sort of like— Just double fucking bad. It's insane. So that's two waist trainers Correct Two sauna suits Oh my God, what if he's actually 6'3? Who's 6'3?! Getawayfromme. Shoot that nigga. You have a nice double chin. Thanks, I got it myself Liz Nice. Comedy Central presents: roast of the hosts The comics of late night tv roast each other l HOw many jokes do I need? A lot. Let's start with the favorite Favorite? Nah. Jimmy Fallon looks constpated. Every time I see that dude, I'm like— —?! What's wrong with him. Also— Why do you look like the off brand version of Justin long? I smell a conspiracy. And aspercreme. What's up with your cheeks, bro? Are you a hippopotamus? — Jay Leno is like God's version of a live action caricature. _____ Why are you all Irish? ____ Kimmel— what kind of bird are you? —- . —- I've heard exchanging insults is like foreplay for comedians; now I'm genuinely starting to wonder how many of these specials have turned over into orgies. I always had a special feeling about Justin Bieber and Martha Stewart. I'm pretty sure we all did. Mama had a shotgun— And daddy hated broken glass I drink out of broken bottles Clasps slip from the hands That can't Grab Shit you're too fucking tall, anyway. The only person who's actually bigger than they look on TV Fuck that. What are you, 6'10? Stay the fuck over there yeo ming. Who drew you, Disney/Pixar? How do you be in a photo from head to toe; full body in the frame and still not be in the picture? This m'fucker's a ghost. Oh look. It's everyone's favorite blow up doll. WHY DO U LOOK ASIAN? WHO TF DID UR DAD KILL IN NAM? –KOREA? EITHER WAY. YOU'RE ASIAN BRO. You seem like that kid that used to walk up on his tiiiy toes and shit. You're weird, bro. That kid that used to walk up— —like this— That's that guy. Devil can't catch me if I don't sit still Still love Run around the world Ring around the Rosie I'm not broke, I jus got. Photo shoot coming up Hang up yo on the fence, Like paint I dry, Simi dinner hard Try hard see the light, go To the light now Go now, my time has come m Go where, how? It's time now for me to depart, my dear Ishii. Why—how?! Because, my boy—the time has come Time not what is! Time be us, you and I! And as we are, my dear boy. I must go. Time nothing but mind is you and I… You are right. Time — is— time. Ishii begins to cry softly, and then weep. Fair for fair and follow for follow— There not are I, And away we went, With wind and time, And the way was one The inside of a year, As the waking of dawn. At dawn, I strike— But was not called To weep, I wake, the tire of tale And yet the sun was in my heart, Yet not in my mind as the sky, And not in the time as the wind, and still, mi follow to love again I always call, And there, the wind where wind does lie, Not I, awake, but I instead as Sunset Again as time had sat upon my should And like bird does cry, The still be wind has shattered my love And in heart lives in such such dusk As pain, my heart, The wicked beauty, Shadowed and stranded Yet I awaken, And here ye, The vow dost took is not aligned— There I was, the call of once The statuesque and haunting Bleeding dry the river's way And almost as such there though of tears With yet had formed all shallow, and none The call of ways I mask misfortunes, There does bear a truth to the tree which bears fruit And give way to time, I am as oceans, Still as steady water's sky, and come what may Of all we have, There nothing lost, And there were fortunes True to shine as gold, And there in no way, Under us. Wax does melt but has not burned, As shadowtimes had set upon us, There, the call was made, and yes The wind had sat upon the waking dawn of eye And there, again the warrior ready for none other than the song of I, The cry of war, does wait unsettled in her wailing As their call had come As of naught, And then came, As does one. Be fair. Daggers! I rot. “Be fair”, says he. Daggers. I rot! Be fair, says I. Nay, The King. True, tis I. —and daggars! I rot. Wary. I find. So then, To have walked among the living and yet are dead— still you, waiting in quarry, Are now I not as King, As though now dost lie slain. Very. A greeting! Seeing now how such has i, Have passed and still yet waiting in how l My waking This fucker just won't die! Well, he can't. He can! (He should.) He has. Oh. Are you triggered. I knew I just have been getting somewhat important Somewhat. I figured this out when they started having people show up after I get to the gym. I knew they were all the same like people, cause for the the most part, they weren't working out, they would just like, align themselves with me, do a few pumps and then do whatever on their phones This one dude came in, and I was already sick of being followed Hadn't been to the gym in a few days cause these people just fucking bother me. Just fucking blows my mind how stupid people are— And I realized something really wrong with people. Like people are really fucked up inthe head, so, This is what I did, when I realized, they weren't going to stop fucking with me in a certain way, I started fucking with them back. I went upstairs to work out, started doing circuits. Did some pumps up stairs, Run the stairs like laps, Hit the tension machine, Kettlebells, Treadmill, then another circuit— {Enter The Multiverse} And I knew whoever was sending these people We're focused on fucking me up; Cause the people they sent were always like— Some kind of trigger. I knew it was some high level programming; They would send like a pretty girl with long hair To fuck me up Or some fat ugly dude who looked like my ex husband, Fat and shit, And they wouldn't workout much, they would just like, fuck around, then hit the phone— And I realized people were really fucking sick In the head, when I realized, After I psyched the fuck out of this fat dude Just fucking running circles around him and shit, Lifting more than he was struggling to fucking lift This dude is all upper body No fucking cardio No fucking legs Weak dick motherfucker. And I realized how sick people were when he goes up stairs And this is how else I know people are fucking with me They'll always get on the phone, And use their phones as intimidation and shit “Hi, yeah, yeah— I'm checking in. I'm a pussy ass robot and shit. Okay. Bye now. Wait—did you hit my cashapp yet? Okay thanks” How you know it's like an app or some shit. Fucking drones, man. But I could tell they were sick and I was somewhere in my way to wellness when, the dude left, then goes upstairs and gets on the phone, and I'm still downstairs and I'm like “Okay, since they're gonna keep fucking with me—when is the end of this album?” I went to check and I knew the album was an hour long— And I look and the album is on the last track and I thought to myself “I haven't touched my phone in at least an hour…” This dude has been in the gym for half the time and has almost not been off the phone He was on the phone more than working out And that's when I realized, Whether I skip a few days at the gym or not Whether I do what everybody else is doing or not Just that alone is rare. He was in the gym maybe a half hour or less And between every single set, he's on the phone Just like all of the other people who seemed to have been following me— And I realized That maybe they weren't even following me on purpose. Maybe they were being remotely sent in my direction somehow with their phones, without their intention or knowing. That is a possibility— And I knew the world had changed in a way that could possibly become dangerous, after being told for x amount of years we needed a SIM card, I've had my phone for almost 5 years, same model; up until now we “needed” a simcard— Now all of a sudden they're letting us know in one way or another “Hey, no we've always been able to remote control your phone” They've inteoduced the “e sim” which is their subtle way of letting you know They've always been able to turn on your phone signal Without you even knowing. Now they're selling you this technology “Oh, you don't need a sim—e sim” I looked, I didn't think my phone would be clmpatible It's a 5 year old model. “Oh no—it's compatible! Congratulations” Which means even 5 years ago before this technology became consumer, They had the ability to open your phone make calls texts and connect to a network They're just now letting you know This has been around for at least a decade And now they're selling it to you. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

SUNNI BLU becomes a man. I guess. Golly. You sure do seem intolerant. Are you sure you don't want a Peloton. I want to live in a white neighborhood And make enough money That my white neighbors Actually respect me For whatever it is I do. Working on a Saturday. Calm down, Jew mom. I will not clam down. In this house, we abide by holy law! Hold on. What happened. I got distracted, this girl looks just like Edie Falco. Oh, I love Edie Falco. Right? I realized how bizarre my creative process really was, in that days I would get the most work done musically, I became physically restful, and complacent, not worrying about the gym so much as the energy I would use rather towards the music I was making, or the over all lacsidasical approach I took to everything. Not being an entirely-perfect stepford- divorcee with a bleach clean everything in my median space, I realized it was almost a more natural kind of creature that created my music; one who ate and acted normally, and was overall less of an anally retentive bitch—not to say that my normal self was not an anally retire bitch, I was, but it was that my creative process seemed to require more normalcy and averageness; eating regularly, What the fuck man. Idk. I got bored The wheels start turning The pages in my mind become phenomenon, I almost bought it I almost bought the dream; Another story arc. Trust, or don't trust? I don't know— these guys are like the ultimate fluffers… MEAT CIRCUS. MEAT CIRCUS. Okay, I love them. …did she light the candle? Oh look, a candle. Hm. SHE LIT THE CANDLE. SHE LIT THE CANDLE. THEY ADDED GPS TO EDC so then. How many of us are there. Hey. Everybody sit the fuck down, right now. [drones sit down] There she goes. Dammit. Why are you really this short in person? On God, because I'm really this short, irl. Skrillex. NO. Get over here for a second. Wanna go to Disneyland? On my life, I'm like in Cancun right now, but— But what? I'll catch the next flight. “The Uptopia” I thought about finagling a way to get into EDC for like 5 seconds before I remembered what it was, And that i'm a DJ And that it looks cool and all— But sounds, generally like a total nightmare. Not because it wouldn't be fun or anything- a It just wouldn't be fun— —for me. EDC part III Haven't I been to edc more than 3 times already. (Try like 30 times.) —that's enough times. THATS NOT ENOUGH TIMES GIMMIE MY BOX! DID YOU GET THE MAGNET . I GOT THE MAGNET. GET IN THE— Goddamn, dude. That's a lot of magnets. It's really not. Man, what the fuck would even happen if I fuckin actually focused on this project I don't know. I like, haven't focused on this project and it seems like, possibly, maybe I might have brokered some kind of deal that may or may not include Coca Cola and NBC. This dude might be trying to rule the world. All the dudes might be trying to rule the world, I think. Well, what if we put them all in a group together or something —seems—doable And maybe if they're not trying to kill each other, hey the end of of— Oh, look. World peace. Nice. —it. Hm. Let's just say, Altogether I give a total of actually zero fucks— Ah hah And at the end of the day, I just want some dick. How is that going to help achieve world peace, exactly. Fuck around and find out. Ladies. Here, yo. Guy, what's this. A midlife crisis waiting to happen. Oh no. Don't worry, it's almost over. My midlife crisis? No, the part before that. Jellyfishing. I don't know, Patrick, seems like kind of a strange day to go jellyfishing. Just—relax. Jesus Christ. (Soft telephone voice) This is the messiah speaking. Uh…hi. How may I direct your call? Uh… Hello. …is your dad home? Euh…probably not, but I can get you my mom. …that might work. Okay, hold on. (Not telephone voice—actually atrocious Boston accent) MAAAAA. …Jesus Christ. What? TELEPHONE. ring ring. Bitch! Ring ring ring! —bitch! Ring ring ring. —BITCH! Yo! What!! Answer the phone. The phone is ringing! Why do you keep saying “bitch”?! Cause that's a bitch ass telephone, bitch! This is improv! I know! And the first rule of improv is to not saying no, but I refuse to answer a telephone that just says “ring, ring”; that is not a realistic telephone, and so to that, I would just say—“bitch.” Bitch. That is not how improv works. I'ma aim at your head; you technically lost the game already stopping the scene; you said “ring-ring” I said “bitch”; you lost already, I done my part. What? Just—if you're gonna be a phone, be a phone, but don't just say “ring-ring” like that Take me all out of character and shit. What character?! All you said is “bitch!” And all you said was “ring-ring”, hoe—I ain't got time for this— What?! Just be a phone! THAT WAS A PHONE. What phone says ring-ring? Phone ring tone “Ring-ring!” What's that. That's my new ringtone. You're so lame. Well at least we got past the 90's and were clearly into the early two thousands. How do you know? That guy has a ringtone. Who is that guy, anyway—? wait a second! Oh shit. That's him! Get em! Ah, are we bringing back the Italians? I don't think they ever left, they've just been quiet. I want pizza. You're in luck. Goddamn kid! Pizza?! French fries. —I want chocolate cake. AND chocolate cake! Goddamn. You'd better be crafting a goddamn symphony. It's more of like a sonata. “The King Suite” Whatever! Just remember however far you get writing this album is how much more gym time it'll take to be taken seriously promoting it. I'm already promoting it. What, how? LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA DAY. welcome back, kid. Shut up; give me a house. Give me a house song! Okay. OKAY, now downtempo. Downtempo makes me sleepy— but whatever, here. Okay, now techno. Untz-untz—here you are. All it took me was seeing Tiesto's ancient ass plastered all over the place in Brooklyn to realize I don't think it'll ever be “too late” to be a DJ and perhaps I could stand to focus on my other masteries. Whatever. I want chocolate cake . You are gonna get so fat. So? So is she when she pops out three kids— And her music sucks. Sauciness is relative. It sounds like shit in a fucking sandwhich. Just remember tiestos wife is actually like a decade younger than you. Great. I'm looking forward to all my favorite DJ's cradle robbing fashion week for this exact fucking reason. Is that a dig on one of the most legendary dance music DJs of our time? No, it's more of another pondering as to why I wasn't born a 9 foot tall porcelain skin blonde European looking model. I must have done something wrong in a previous existence. Have you tried paddle boarding? That seems /lame Fun! If I start now, maybe by May I can be EDC fit. What's the point of being EDC fit and not going to EDC? Hm. Okay. I can get a peloton, Or EDC tickets— Which should it actually be? What's the point of having a peloton If you're not going to EDC. Correct. But also— Why bother going to EDC at all if you're not going to be mad ripped from riding a peloton all day in your apartment. Also facts. That's what I'm here for Suddenly, I was acting weird. [being weird] Well, weirder than usual. Suddenly, my mind was racing— I was running around my apartment frantically in a halter top that I was certain I looked fabulous in— [looking at least kind of fabulous] — lil bitz. I'm getting to the age where I haven't quite given up, But realizing I'm not going to be the ideal just kind of sits with me in little ways. I haven't let go of myself, I'm not all the way giving up, but I'm more like, settled and secure with myself. A little more self confident in knowing if I wanted just any old dude, I can go out and get one. But I've been saving myself for someone really special. I mean really. And it's been years since I had sex. Actual years, so like— I'm at the point where I can just keep waiting, But sometimes I realize how long it's been, For instance, when I'm shopping, And I'm just kind of, looking around online Figuring out exactly what I want— And I'm scrolling, looking at all the selections And I see this baguette— Like bread, guys. Like a French roll and I think to myself “I'll take that.” I'm getting kind of turned on just looking at it, like Realizing it's bread— I'm like “Ooh, look at this baguette… Oui oui.” lol the fuck is wrong with you. Honestly I'm just looking for vegan chocolate cake without having to make it. Are we a team? …uhhh… kinda depends on who is “we” But since I can hear you faintly in my head, I guess so. Suddenly, I had the feeling that I had written something recently that might at some point become important. Hey. What. I like your five year plan. What fucking five year plan. The one from five years ago. Oh. Wait—what. Let's make it an 8 year plan. You mean 8 years from…from 5 years ago? See, you are good at math. —I—wait, what plan. Okay [chuckles awkwardly] See you later. What. Man, why do like half the characters in this show look and sound like Dillon Francis. Cause they're Dillon Francis. Might as well be. I had also has realized at a certain point recently that I would probably never get married again, and in my own right had set out to be “The Ultimate Lover!” Get out of here, Skrillex. What in the fuck is with that dude. What's wrong with him anyway. Something. Get out. FUCK, HE'S DEAD. Oh well. Not oh well! Someone's definitely gonna be upset about his. Probably! But that's an entirely seperate demographic. We can't be concerned with that. Not our business, The man is dead! You don't know, maybe he's just in A k-hole! [super duper dead] Whatever man. Just— Can you at least give me a hand with his legs. He's heavy. How can he be taller than he looks on TV— Goddamn, he wreaks! He hasn't even been dead long enough for that. I know, he just wreaks, man. Whatever. Look. Just— Ugh— Let's roll him into that tent over there. What. Just roll him in-/ Agh. And hurry up— Virtual Riot is about to start. Goddamn. The wooks. These aren't any ordinary wooks. They're frat boys Oh, that headdress, though. You remember the headdress! I remember the everything, I'm just— trying to forget. Crimes. Or at least—pretending to. You remember David after the dentist? [David after the dentist] AAAAAGAAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Well, this is James after The Jam. Mm. What kind Of Jam is this! It's—Jelly. Ah. You're dead. It's—really good. You know what— This is Sauerkraut. Happy accidents is getting weird. Man. I like it. Untz untz untz I just found this out, and I'm over the moon like exactic about this— I just found out you can like, totally buy 5 lbs of marijuana Over the internet. For what? I don't know. Sounds like a deal. Sign me up. Anyway, I found this out— Because I found this bread I like Yes— I know Bread to marijuana We are—making connections— Anyway, I found this bread I like From this one place, And I love this place so much That I begin buying this bread regularly— I love it so much that, I'm looking through all their breads in their bakery and I realize, “Holy shit—they just have the most insane bakery, ever.” Like all the breads are sounding phenomenal— They're real bread— Most bread if it's real bread is vegan, So I'm looking through the bread like, “Holy shit, this all sounds fire—“ And when I like a place a lot— Especially in New York, I get weird about it. Like, I want to know the origins of the place. I love history— History—cannabis—and bread, I know. “Whose the lucky guy?!” lol. Nobody, obviously— if this is my life; but I digress. I'm looking at all these breads, All these artisanal, like— Fresh cakes and, Really unique like, Breads of every kind— And I start thinking to myself “I love this place.” “I love this place” So I start thinking about like the origins of this place— You know like, historically— Like, Sometimes you find cool stuff out about a place Macy's or whatever, Has cool history— Like the oldest surviving wooden escalator Being at the flagship department store in midtown Stuff like that. I love history— So I go to look up this place— I type this place into the search bar with absolutely no other specifications than I think, The name— And the first link that comes up Is a fire sale of 5 pounds of “hemp flower” But from the picture I can see that it's evidently really Complete marijuana— Actual cannabis flower; So I look into this matter, and I investigate this link a little further to figure out— “What is this?” And as it turns out, my suspicions are correct, You can now obtain large quantities of marijuana Via a Google search— By complete accident. I'm like, “Woah!” [Bookmark the page and shit.] “Keep that in there for later…” You know, just in case I ever have $2,200 dollars roughly of disposable income and ever feel like upstarting my very own drug enterprise… Er, restarting— But the drug enterprise I had in college was nothing like this— This is next level. Its the internet age now, buddy! Shit is legitimate. Wait, sorry— is the statute of limitations up yet? Whatever. Leave no trace. There—are bigger fish to fry. lol. Bread, man. I love bread. You make me mad, But I'm still in love with you; You might be far, but I'm still in love with you You might do bad, but I'm still in love with you Come back to bed; You know I'm still in love with you You make me mad, But I'm still in love with you; You might be far, but I'm still in love with you You might do bad, but I'm still in love with you Come back to bed; You know I'm still in love with you Doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you) Cause it doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you It doesn't matter (You know I'm still in love with you) I'm still in love with you— You know I'm still in love with you. You know what— Huh— Does lemon raspberry sound better or like, This caramel toffee? You know I love a good lemon ice cream— Lemon custard Posh. Ah, the hedons are back. /*herons (You know Insomniac's making their rounds. ) Getdamoney Getdamoney getda— Woah— hold up, what is this I don't know Looks lucrative Facts Hmmm— Worthwhile investment, perhaps Maybe, maybe Very well Getdamoney Getdamoney Getdamoney Take a look at this young buck, they said. So I did. Turns out, the jokes on me. Me, and all my old friends In all my old lives On all my old world Play games In other words, The world goes on, Then off, Then it goes on, We come home— To laugh with one another Me and my friends, We play games Out of body Mind games In the body Play lives, All for entertainment In the old world, We said “One” Off we run, I said So on, comes dawn again We all talk of old reunion. We all talk of— FUCK, man. It's non dairy. I don't give a fuck about your ice cream! We're all on ice cream. I don't give a fuck about ice cream! On, you don't. No! Alright. Done. You know, it's like one door opens— Another door closes; And that's true— But whatever fucking weird drone robots They're probably paying to just come in one door And out the other Are karma cannons— And by that I mean— Whatever's disturbing me; Will eventually disturb them— And maybe, just maybe— In the same annoying way. So one day somebody wakes up and writes an anthology saga about you. It's not about you, it's about me— That's what I said. And that's probably what happened anyway—is what I'm thinking—and either way, I'm just the protagonist of that series, anyway. That's—logical, I'm thinking. I'm also thinking. Man. It feels so good to just sit in silence. Yeah. It does. Didn't you want kids? Whatever. Abusive relationships suck. My version of our kid is hands down way better then your version of our kid. Hands down. Let's get down to the nitti grotti of things here. Nitty Gritty. 11:30. But that's when Tranwrexk is playing. Who the fuck is teaintwrext. No, it's. Whatever. Nitti gritti Okay, so I'm obviously like, not going to forget the lady beating the shit out of her dog at the Trader Joe's— But I think maybe even the best part about it was the fact that it was like, a pug. I'm not really ready to go out in public or anything-1 I don't know— I'm like traumatized by the disparity of the human race, or whatever. But shout out to the lady beating the shit out of her dog at the Trader Joe's. I don't know what he did. But if you're gonna beat your pug at the Trader Joe's, he probably deserved it. Goddamn you Marc Jacobs! This is what you get for leaving a puddle in produce section! Goddammit! What else are you gonna name a purebred pug that you take everywhere with you— Including Trader Joe's? “This is Marc Jacobs” We thought he was a puggle but it turns out he was a purebreed and we just got so lucky! He gets nervous around people— Sometimes especially at the Trader Joe's He just gets so excited! Bad Marx Jacobs! BAD! On another note why am I just not automatically genetically built like a 6'5 Scandinavian chick. Like, it's cool my legs don't grow any hair at all, but goddamnit I would rather walk fashion week and just— Automatically never be hungry. Imagine giving birth to a supermodel baby and just Here, baby— take this The baby is like: *milks for two seconds* Alright, I'm good. Are you sure, baby. The baby's like “I'm— all full” Are you sure? Baby's like yeah— put me on the treadmill for an hour, would you? I gotta go fast-crawl this all off. Breastmilk, whew. Heavy shit. Just set the incline to all the way up, alright— And make sure I turn up the propane pig to high volume I want to make sure I'm deaf in one ear And only have one brain cell I don't want them to think I talk to much. Mom's like, “Um, okay— are you sure you don't just want like, more breastmilk” Baby's like “No ma, put me on the treadmill and shut the fuck yo you fat cow!” Goddammit, alright. That's— Some kids are just born destined to be— whatever— you know? Me? I was destined to like food, but be pretty much allergic to it— Pretty much allergic to all of it. Not in the typical sense of like having a food allergy— Not getting hives or anything Just— Prone to max weight gain after minimal, regular fucking eating— Minimal fucking eating And maximum effort in the gym just equals More muscle Which, then, The excess fat will just sit on top of Sort of like— Just double fucking bad. It's insane. So that's two waist trainers Correct Two sauna suits Oh my God, what if he's actually 6'3? Who's 6'3?! Getawayfromme. Shoot that nigga. You have a nice double chin. Thanks, I got it myself Liz Nice. Comedy Central presents: roast of the hosts The comics of late night tv roast each other l HOw many jokes do I need? A lot. Let's start with the favorite Favorite? Nah. Jimmy Fallon looks constpated. Every time I see that dude, I'm like— —?! What's wrong with him. Also— Why do you look like the off brand version of Justin long? I smell a conspiracy. And aspercreme. What's up with your cheeks, bro? Are you a hippopotamus? — Jay Leno is like God's version of a live action caricature. _____ Why are you all Irish? ____ Kimmel— what kind of bird are you? —- . —- I've heard exchanging insults is like foreplay for comedians; now I'm genuinely starting to wonder how many of these specials have turned over into orgies. I always had a special feeling about Justin Bieber and Martha Stewart. I'm pretty sure we all did. Mama had a shotgun— And daddy hated broken glass I drink out of broken bottles Clasps slip from the hands That can't Grab Shit you're too fucking tall, anyway. The only person who's actually bigger than they look on TV Fuck that. What are you, 6'10? Stay the fuck over there yeo ming. Who drew you, Disney/Pixar? How do you be in a photo from head to toe; full body in the frame and still not be in the picture? This m'fucker's a ghost. Oh look. It's everyone's favorite blow up doll. WHY DO U LOOK ASIAN? WHO TF DID UR DAD KILL IN NAM? –KOREA? EITHER WAY. YOU'RE ASIAN BRO. You seem like that kid that used to walk up on his tiiiy toes and shit. You're weird, bro. That kid that used to walk up— —like this— That's that guy. Devil can't catch me if I don't sit still Still love Run around the world Ring around the Rosie I'm not broke, I jus got. Photo shoot coming up Hang up yo on the fence, Like paint I dry, Simi dinner hard Try hard see the light, go To the light now Go now, my time has come m Go where, how? It's time now for me to depart, my dear Ishii. Why—how?! Because, my boy—the time has come Time not what is! Time be us, you and I! And as we are, my dear boy. I must go. Time nothing but mind is you and I… You are right. Time — is— time. Ishii begins to cry softly, and then weep. Fair for fair and follow for follow— There not are I, And away we went, With wind and time, And the way was one The inside of a year, As the waking of dawn. At dawn, I strike— But was not called To weep, I wake, the tire of tale And yet the sun was in my heart, Yet not in my mind as the sky, And not in the time as the wind, and still, mi follow to love again I always call, And there, the wind where wind does lie, Not I, awake, but I instead as Sunset Again as time had sat upon my should And like bird does cry, The still be wind has shattered my love And in heart lives in such such dusk As pain, my heart, The wicked beauty, Shadowed and stranded Yet I awaken, And here ye, The vow dost took is not aligned— There I was, the call of once The statuesque and haunting Bleeding dry the river's way And almost as such there though of tears With yet had formed all shallow, and none The call of ways I mask misfortunes, There does bear a truth to the tree which bears fruit And give way to time, I am as oceans, Still as steady water's sky, and come what may Of all we have, There nothing lost, And there were fortunes True to shine as gold, And there in no way, Under us. Wax does melt but has not burned, As shadowtimes had set upon us, There, the call was made, and yes The wind had sat upon the waking dawn of eye And there, again the warrior ready for none other than the song of I, The cry of war, does wait unsettled in her wailing As their call had come As of naught, And then came, As does one. Be fair. Daggers! I rot. “Be fair”, says he. Daggers. I rot! Be fair, says I. Nay, The King. True, tis I. —and daggars! I rot. Wary. I find. So then, To have walked among the living and yet are dead— still you, waiting in quarry, Are now I not as King, As though now dost lie slain. Very. A greeting! Seeing now how such has i, Have passed and still yet waiting in how l My waking This fucker just won't die! Well, he can't. He can! (He should.) He has. Oh. Are you triggered. I knew I just have been getting somewhat important Somewhat. I figured this out when they started having people show up after I get to the gym. I knew they were all the same like people, cause for the the most part, they weren't working out, they would just like, align themselves with me, do a few pumps and then do whatever on their phones This one dude came in, and I was already sick of being followed Hadn't been to the gym in a few days cause these people just fucking bother me. Just fucking blows my mind how stupid people are— And I realized something really wrong with people. Like people are really fucked up inthe head, so, This is what I did, when I realized, they weren't going to stop fucking with me in a certain way, I started fucking with them back. I went upstairs to work out, started doing circuits. Did some pumps up stairs, Run the stairs like laps, Hit the tension machine, Kettlebells, Treadmill, then another circuit— {Enter The Multiverse} And I knew whoever was sending these people We're focused on fucking me up; Cause the people they sent were always like— Some kind of trigger. I knew it was some high level programming; They would send like a pretty girl with long hair To fuck me up Or some fat ugly dude who looked like my ex husband, Fat and shit, And they wouldn't workout much, they would just like, fuck around, then hit the phone— And I realized people were really fucking sick In the head, when I realized, After I psyched the fuck out of this fat dude Just fucking running circles around him and shit, Lifting more than he was struggling to fucking lift This dude is all upper body No fucking cardio No fucking legs Weak dick motherfucker. And I realized how sick people were when he goes up stairs And this is how else I know people are fucking with me They'll always get on the phone, And use their phones as intimidation and shit “Hi, yeah, yeah— I'm checking in. I'm a pussy ass robot and shit. Okay. Bye now. Wait—did you hit my cashapp yet? Okay thanks” How you know it's like an app or some shit. Fucking drones, man. But I could tell they were sick and I was somewhere in my way to wellness when, the dude left, then goes upstairs and gets on the phone, and I'm still downstairs and I'm like “Okay, since they're gonna keep fucking with me—when is the end of this album?” I went to check and I knew the album was an hour long— And I look and the album is on the last track and I thought to myself “I haven't touched my phone in at least an hour…” This dude has been in the gym for half the time and has almost not been off the phone He was on the phone more than working out And that's when I realized, Whether I skip a few days at the gym or not Whether I do what everybody else is doing or not Just that alone is rare. He was in the gym maybe a half hour or less And between every single set, he's on the phone Just like all of the other people who seemed to have been following me— And I realized That maybe they weren't even following me on purpose. Maybe they were being remotely sent in my direction somehow with their phones, without their intention or knowing. That is a possibility— And I knew the world had changed in a way that could possibly become dangerous, after being told for x amount of years we needed a SIM card, I've had my phone for almost 5 years, same model; up until now we “needed” a simcard— Now all of a sudden they're letting us know in one way or another “Hey, no we've always been able to remote control your phone” They've inteoduced the “e sim” which is their subtle way of letting you know They've always been able to turn on your phone signal Without you even knowing. Now they're selling you this technology “Oh, you don't need a sim—e sim” I looked, I didn't think my phone would be clmpatible It's a 5 year old model. “Oh no—it's compatible! Congratulations” Which means even 5 years ago before this technology became consumer, They had the ability to open your phone make calls texts and connect to a network They're just now letting you know This has been around for at least a decade And now they're selling it to you. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

J'ai entendu deux passagers s'étonner : "Le premier ministre, après une opération du cerveau, tu te rends compte, il reprend le travail le lendemain." Je n'ai pas pu m'empêcher de mettre dans la conversation mon grain de sel parfum dictionnaire : "Euh, je suis désolée... je ne crois pas qu'il ait été opéré du cerveau."

Høring i Europaudvalget om ny lægemiddellovgivning i EU 1) Høring i Europaudvalget om ny lægemiddellovgivning i EUHøring i Europaudvalget om ny lægemiddellovgivning i EU

Høring i Europaudvalget om ny lægemiddellovgivning i EU 1) Høring i Europaudvalget om ny lægemiddellovgivning i EUHøring i Europaudvalget om ny lægemiddellovgivning i EU

Jusqu'au 30 septembre, retrouvez la formation aux fondamentaux de l'accueil et du service !1️⃣ Présentation de l'invité :Grégoire Benoit est un financier. Euh non, un hôtelier. Enfin pas vraiment non plus. Car il propose une offre d'hospitalité un peu différenciante.Mais, il va raconter cela bien mieux que moi !Grégoire est le cofondateur et directeur des opérations d'Edgar Suites, une nouvelle génération d'Appart'hôtels haut de gamme, qui combine le meilleur de la location courte durée et des services hôteliers.Grégoire Benoit, 32 ans, est un entrepreneur passionné qui a cofondé Edgar Suites en 2016 avec son frère Maxime et leur associé Xavier. Avant de se lancer dans cette aventure, Grégoire a étudié à l'école de commerce de Grenoble et a acquis une riche expérience internationale, notamment en Chine et aux États-Unis. Il a également travaillé dans l'audit avant de se tourner vers l'entrepreneuriat. Son parcours est marqué par une soif de découverte et une volonté de comprendre le monde de l'entreprise de manière approfondie.Comment ont-ils réussi à transformer des immeubles de bureaux et des hôtels fatigués en espaces modernes et accueillants ?Quels sont les défis et les succès rencontrés, notamment sur la digitalisation de la réception et l'expérience client ?Comment se traduit leur engagement envers la durabilité et l'impact positif ? 2️⃣ Notes et références :Edgar SuitesBC PartnersLabel BreeamClef VerteLabel B CorpLe Bleisure, mélanger Business et Leisure avec Maxime BesnierProjets FF&E et OS&E, avec Sébastien RomiszviliCréer une marque d'hôtels Feel Good, avec Eric OmgbaCréer Okko Hotels, avec Solenne Ojea-Devys- Le livre : Le monde d'hier, de Stefan Zweig3️⃣ Pour contacter l'invité :Via Linkedin4️⃣ Le partenaire de l'épisode :HotelPartner Revenue ManagementPrendre un rendez-vous avec MarjolaineDites que vous venez d'Hospitality Insiders et Marjolaine se déplace gratuitement dans votre établissement pour effectuer un diagnostic !5️⃣ Chapitrage : 00:00:00-Introduction00:01:00 - Grégoire Benoit00:04:00 - Équipe00:07:00 - Edgar Suites00:08:00 - Premier immeuble00:10:00 - Investissement de BC Partners00:13:00 - Expansion au niveau national00:14:00 - Stratégie urbaine et type de clientèle00:17:00 - Digitalisation et rôle d'Edgar00:31:00 - Engagement écologique00:40:00 - Questions signaturesSi cet épisode vous a passionné, rejoignez-moi sur : La newsletter d'Hospitality Insiders, pour ne rien rater Linkedin, pour poursuivre la discussion Instagram, pour découvrir les coulisses La bibliothèque des invités du podcast Merci de votre fidélité et à bientôt !

Cette année, la Croix Rouge, en partenariat avec la Collectivité européenne d'Alsace, célèbre 160 ans d'engagement !De 10h à 17h, Place du Quartier Blanc à Strasbourg, formez-vous aux gestes de premiers secours, informez-vous sur les nombreuses missions de la Croix rouge française et rencontrez les bénévoles.Plus d'un millier d' Alsaciens sont déjà engagés, serez-vous les prochains  ?Toutes les informations sur alsace.euHébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Cette année, la Croix Rouge, en partenariat avec la Collectivité européenne d'Alsace, célèbre 160 ans d'engagement !De 10h à 17h, Place du Quartier Blanc à Strasbourg, formez-vous aux gestes de premiers secours, informez-vous sur les nombreuses missions de la Croix rouge française et rencontrez les bénévoles.Plus d'un millier d' Alsaciens sont déjà engagés, serez-vous les prochains  ?Toutes les informations sur alsace.euHébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Cette année, la Croix Rouge, en partenariat avec la Collectivité européenne d'Alsace, célèbre 160 ans d'engagement !De 10h à 17h, Place du Quartier Blanc à Strasbourg, formez-vous aux gestes de premiers secours, informez-vous sur les nombreuses missions de la Croix rouge française et rencontrez les bénévoles.Plus d'un millier d' Alsaciens sont déjà engagés, serez-vous les prochains  ?Toutes les informations sur alsace.euHébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

MON LIVRE !!! www.amazon.fr/Asia-Gourmet-culinaire-gastronomies-asiatiques/dp/2017252867Bon, on va pas se mentir, la différence d'âge en couple, ça fait toujours parler. Alors aujourd'hui, on va creuser ce sujet sans prise de tête mais avec un peu de sérieux quand même (t'inquiète, ça reste chill). Entre le fameux couple mineur/majeur et les écarts de 10, 15, voire 20 ans, qu'est-ce qui est vraiment OK ou carrément chelou ?

Dans cet épisode, Romain t'emmène dans un voyage à travers les moments marquants des 12 derniers mois, à la fois pour Squared, Fractional et… lui-même, en tant que CEO.Nous allons discuter :Des défis et succès de Squared, y compris un événement marketing audacieux, le Mastermind Tour, pendant lequel Romain a dû gérer une situation. Comment avons-nous navigué à travers cela et quels enseignements en avons-nous tirés ?De l'évolution de Fractional, notre projet passionné sur le rôle de Fractional COO, et comment il se positionne pour transformer la manière dont les CEOs gèrent leurs entreprises.Des réflexions personnelles sur la gestion d'entreprise, l'équilibre entre croissance et liberté, et l'importance de construire une équipe autonome.Si tu souhaites plonger dans les coulisses de la vie d'un entrepreneur et CEO, cet épisode est pour toi. Découvre comment tirer des leçons de chaque défi et transformer des obstacles en opportunités ! ===Et si tu as des questions ou que tu as besoin de conseils sur ces sujets, n'hésite pas à nous envoyer un message privé. Nous serons ravis d'échanger !

Darum geht es heute: die Quartalsergebnisse der Temu-Mutter Pinduoduo, nach deren Veröffentlichung die Aktie um 29% eingebrochen ist, X, ehemals Twitter, das deren Investorenliste veröffentlichen musste und außerdem in Brasilien verboten wurde, den Telegram Gründer Pawel Durow, der in Frankreich verhaftet wurde, Kaliforniens erste AI Safety Bill,  SellerX, das von Blackrock versteigert wird,  und weitere News zu bol.com, Breuninger, Ikea, Vinted, TikTok & Shopify. Viel Spaß! :) Quellen PinDuoDuo Earnings https://retail-news.de/temu-mutter-pdd-steigert-umsatz-und-gewinn-deutlich/  Kalifornien's AI Gesetz https://www.theguardian.com/technology/article/2024/aug/29/california-ai-regulation-bill  Telegram Gründer Pavel Durov festgenommen https://www.zdf.de/nachrichten/politik/ausland/frankreich-festnahme-durow-telegram-100.html  Vinted launcht Elektronik-Kategorie https://www.retail-week.com/marketplaces/vinted-is-offering-a-dedicated-electronics-category-for-the-first-time/7046938.article  X Investorenliste veröffentlicht https://www.newsweek.com/full-list-investors-elon-musks-x-revealed-court-filing-1942970  X wird in Brasilien verboten https://apnews.com/article/brazil-musk-x-suspended-de-moraes-46c9d5c5c895e17d9adfac43e6ac20fd  Bol.com öffnet sich für EU Händler https://www.linkedin.com/posts/volkankavsak_bol-onlinesales-marketplace-activity-7235251608048017408-2nUa  Breuninger soll verkauft werden https://www.wiwo.de/unternehmen/handel/einzelhandel-warenhauskette-breuninger-soll-verkauft-werden/29964058.html  IKEA launcht Second Hand Marktplatz https://www.ft.com/content/4b18236f-f2f0-43eb-bb65-5f8d2f30a734  TikTok AI Voice Feature https://x.com/jonah_manzano/status/1827318037390705043  Shopify hired Ex-Microsoft AI Experten als CTO https://www.shopify.com/news/mikhail-parakhin-cto  SellerX: Blackrock will den Amazon-Aggregator in Auktion versteigern https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2024-08-29/blackrock-versteigert-deutschen-amazon-aggregator-sellerx  https://finance.yahoo.com/news/blackrock-auction-amazon-aggregator-once-151058196.html  Timestamps (00:00) Intro  (02:48) PinDuoDuo Earnings (12:37) Breuninger soll verkauft werden  (14:22) Blackrock versteigert SellerX (16:52) Ikea launcht Second Hand C2C Marktplatz (18:13) TikTok launcht AI Voice Over Version (18:55) Shopify stellt Ex-Microsoft AI Professional als CTO ein (19:52) Vinted launcht Electronics Category (20:58) Bol.com öffnet Marktplatz EU-weit (23:40) Erstes AI Regulierungsgesetz in den USA unterschrieben  (27:03) X legt Investorenliste offen (30:20) X in Brasilien verboten (32:50) Telegram Gründer verhaftet Credits Logo Design: Naim Solis Intro & Jingles: Kurt Woischytzky Fotos: Stefan Grau Intro-Video: Tim Solle

Dans cet épisode en deux parties du podcast “Structure”, on plonge dans les coulisses de la dernière année chez Squared et Fractional.Cette première partie est l'occasion idéale pour découvrir comment les décisions prises pendant 6 mois (de septembre 2023 à février 2024) ont façonné l'avenir de l'entreprise. De la restructuration interne, aux grandes réussites et à la planification stratégique, Romain nous emmène dans un voyage riche en enseignements.Prépare-toi pour un contenu exclusif où transparence et stratégie sont au rendez-vous ! Ce premier volet apporte un regard unique sur ce que signifie vraiment “diriger" et adapter une entreprise en temps réel.#podcast #structure #rétrospective #business #COO #équipe #vision===Et si tu as des questions ou que tu as besoin de conseils sur ces sujets, n'hésite pas à nous envoyer un message privé. Nous serons ravis d'échanger !

Les gourmands ont rendez-vous ce jeudi 15 août du côté de Metzeral. C'est à l'occasion de la 31ème Fête de la tarte aux myrtilles. Cet événement convivial et familial célèbrera cette spécialité locale, mais également les traditions pâtissières et festives de la Vallée de Munster. De la musique folklorique sera également au rendez-vous. Pour en parler, Claude Ertlé, président de la Société de musique Ilienkopf, était dans nos studios.Informations pratiques : Jeudi 15 août 2024, à partir de 12hLieu dit Wolfsgasse - 68380 MetzeralEntrée libreRenseignements sur vallee-munster.euHébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

- Tổng thống nước Cộng hòa Dân chủ Timor-Leste José Ramos-Horta thăm cấp Nhà nước tới Việt Nam theo lời mời của Chủ tịch nước Tô Lâm- Thủ tướng Phạm Minh Chính gặp gỡ cán bộ, nhân viên Đại sứ quán, cộng đồng người Việt Nam tại Ấn Độ- Hôm nay, 4 Luật quan trọng, gồm Luật Đất đai, Luật Nhà ở, Luật kinh doanh bất động sản và Luật tổ chức tín dụng chính thức có hiệu lực thi hành, kỳ vọng khơi thông nguồn lực- Cũng từ hôm nay, thực hiện kiểm kê đất đai năm 2024 trên phạm vi cả nước- Tròn 4 năm Hiệp định thương mại tự do giữa Việt Nam và Liên minh châu Âu (EVFTA) có hiệu lực, kim ngạch xuất khẩu ước tính khoảng 200 tỷ USD, tăng trưởng xuất khẩu đạt từ 12-15% và là nước xuất siêu vào EU- Hôm nay, Hội đồng Bảo an Liên hợp quốc nhóm họp phiên khẩn cấp để thảo luận về tình hình căng thẳng tại Trung Đông- Hãng hàng không Delta của Mỹ thiệt hại 500 triệu USD vì sự cố máy tính toàn cầu Chủ đề : kiểm kê, đất đai --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/vov1thoisu0/support

"Je moet nog geen alsjeblieft en dankjewel tegen een baby zeggen als hij nog niet praat". Euh... WAT?! Absolute onzin! In deze aflevering hoor je waarom je net wél tegen een baby moet praten en hoe een kindje van communicatie naar woorden gaat. Wil je weten wanneer je dat eerste woordje kan verwachten? Waar je op 18 maanden best op let? En op 2 jaar dan? In deze aflevering legt Janne uit hoeveel woorden en zinnen kinderen op welke leeftijd minimum moeten kunnen zeggen én ook wat je kan doen als je kindje dat niet doet. De checklist van de taalmijlpalen waarover Janne het heeft, vind je hier. En meer informatie over Peuterpraat vind je hier! Veel luisterplezier! Liefs x Janne

Toute la presse américaine en parle. Et insiste sur la piètre performance de Joe Biden, « performance hésitante et décousue », déplore le New York Times. « Pendant 90 minutes, poursuit le quotidien américain, Joe Biden, la voix rauque, a eu du mal à énoncer ses propos et à contrer un ancien président acerbe mais profondément malhonnête, soulevant des doutes sur la capacité du président sortant à mener une campagne vigoureuse et compétitive quatre mois auparavant l'élection. » Le New York Times cite un élu démocrate, sous couvert de l'anonymat, selon lequel « certains démocrates de la Chambre des représentants, discutent de la nécessité de trouver un nouveau candidat à la présidence ».« Biden trébuche lors d'un débat enflammé marqué par les mensonges de Trump », titre de son côté, le Washington Post, qui s'inquiète aussi de la performance du président sortant. « Il a parfois trébuché, livrant ses réponses d'une voix faible, avec des mots marmonnés et un air parfois confus – une performance qui a immédiatement suscité des inquiétudes parmi les démocrates préoccupés par son âge et la fragilité ». Le Washington Post qui n'en oublie par pour autant Donald Trump, accusant l'ancien président « d'avoir livré une performance moins volubile et moins provocante que lors des débats précédents », mais d'avoir basé « bon nombre de ses réponses sur des mensonges qui n'ont pas été contestés par les modérateurs du débat ».« Euh...» à répétitionMalgré le décalage horaire, les rédactions européennes étaient bien réveillées cette nuit, pour suivre le débat entre les deux candidats à la Maison Blanche. Le Guardian annonce, sans hésiter : « Les appels pour que Biden se retire se multiplient après une performance chancelante lors du débat contre Trump ». Selon le Times, c'est carrément « la panique », dans le camp démocrate. Pour le quotidien britannique, « Biden a connu son plus mauvais moment, qui lui a coûté ce débat et peut-être même sa présidence », dès « le premier sujet, l'économie, lorsqu'on l'a interrogé sur la dette nationale. Il a confondu millionnaires et milliardaires, ses millions et ses milliards. » Le Times cite in extenso des phrases de Biden, entrecoupées d'hésitations, des « euh... » à répétition. « C'est un triste signe que les inquiétudes concernant le déclin de Biden ne sont peut-être pas infondées », ajoute le quotidien. « On l'a déjà vu, mais Biden est tellement protégé des médias et du public que cela a dû être un choc pour de nombreux Américains de le voir dans cet état. » En Allemagne, Die Welt va droit au but : « désormais, les démocrates envisagent de remplacer Biden », titre le quotidien, selon lequel « les démocrates ont sept semaines pour changer de cap ».  DisparitionEn France, c'est la fin de la campagne électorale, avant le premier tour des élections législatives dimanche. « Législatives, Emmanuel qui ? » interroge en Une Libération. « Lâché par ses ministres, désavoué par ses candidats, incompris par ses électeurs, le président de la République se retrouve marginalisé avant un premier tour qui s'annonce dévastateur pour la majorité sortante ». « La perspective angoissante de voir l'extrême droite s'installer à Matignon, ajoute le quotidien, a presque fait passer à la trappe, un fait politique majeur de cette très courte campagne des législatives : la disparition d'Emmanuel Macron. Le chef de l'État est aujourd'hui une persona non grata, ou quasi, au sein même de sa majorité ».Aujourd'hui en France écrit de son côté, « qu'en cas de victoire du Rassemblement national, Marine le Pen a annoncé la couleur : Jordan Bardella a l'intention de laisser à Emmanuel Macron un rôle honorifique.... Il devra tout de même composer avec la Constitution », remarque Aujourd'hui en France qui ajoute : « avec ses propos sur le rôle "honorifique" de "chef des armées" dévolu au président, Marine Le Pen montre qu'il n'en sera rien. Que Jordan Bardella Premier ministre s'engagerait dans une cohabitation conflictuelle et tenterait d'étendre au maximum ses pouvoirs, l'idée d'un "domaine réservé" sur les affaires internationales et militaires étant contesté par avance ​​​​​​​». 

La sexualité, deux poids deux mesures pour les hommes et les femmes ? Euh... ben oui !!! Et comment même quand une femme assume sa sexualité " comme un homme " elle a du mal à le faire socialement. Un podcast Bababam Originals Ecrit par Hélène Vézier Monté par Romain Redon Retrouvez tous les épisodes de Madame Meuf ici. Première diffusion le 5 décembre 2023 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

La pomme d'amour désigne un tout autre fruit. La pomme d'amour est rouge. Couleur de la passion, du coeur, on croque dans le fruit défendu ok ok mais c'est surtout la couleur de la tomate bien mûre ! Eh ouais ! La pomme d'amour, au départ, c'est la tomate. On lui a trouvé ce doux nom au XVIe siècle quand le fruit arrive en France. On prétend alors que la tomate a des vertus aphrodisiaques. D'ailleurs au Seychelles ou encore à l'Ile Maurice, on appelle toujours la tomate « pomme d'amour ». Mais au départ, peu d'amour pour ce nouveau fruit lorsqu'il est importé en Europe depuis le Mexique.  Outre-Atlantique, elle est consommée par les Aztèques à l'état sauvage dès le VIIIe siècle mais lorsque les Espagnols ramènent ce fruit dans leurs bagages 800 ans plus tard, ils pensent que le fruit est toxique et le plant de tomate sert plutôt d'ornement. La tomate reçoit ses lettres de noblesses en Italie, en Toscane plus précisément. Les Médicis sont encore dans le coup. On raconte que Côme 1er aurait eu un panier de tomates en cadeau de la part de son épouse en 1548. Elle prend le nom de pomodoro en italien ou pomme d'or. Les Italiens commencent par en faire des salsas, des sauces quoi. La tomate aime le soleil et la chaleur, comme moi. Elle passe les Alpes pour la Provence où on la considère comme une belle plante, toujours comme moi. Elle est enfin consommée en France à partir de la fin du XVIIIe siècle et début du XIXe siècle. Euh, pas comme moi. En 1889, la tomate est élevée au rang de symbole national en Italie lorsqu'elle rejoint le basilic et la mozzarella dans la mythique recette de la pizza Magherita. Du vert, du blanc et du rouge, le drapeau est complet. Désormais, il y aurait plus de 10 000 variétés de tomates dans le monde. Et c'est la star de l'été, on la voit déjà sur les étals en France mais c'est plutôt un fruit qu'on consomme à partir du mois de juin. Si vous voulez vous la jouer vintage et en faire une plante d'ornement, le mieux, c'est de la planter après les Saints de Glace à la mi-mai ! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guldkaraten bevæger sig gennem snestormen i København med pomp og pragt, vi forbliver Danmarks Royale Podcast, spids situation i Det røde hav, kald os Kongelig Hofleverandører, vejrsituationen er et studie i danskhed, et Bond-Skurke-Navn, nyt fra Mellemøsten, slyngelstater og russiske GPS-signaler over Bornholm, der er også nye medlemmer af Pressenævnet, ugens Kammerdame, en ABBA-anbefaling, lad os få gang i en EU-Hær, og den originale Baron er ikke langt væk når du er strandet på E-45. Vil du høre hele episoden?Få 30 dages gratis prøveperiode (kan kun benyttes af nye Podimo-abonnenter): https://go.podimo.com/dk/hgdg(79 kroner herefter)Eller få 3 mdr. med 50% rabat (kan bruges af tidligere Podimo-abonnenter): https://go.podimo.com/dk/hgdgtilbud(79 kroner herefter)Værter: Esben Bjerre & Peter Falktoft Redigering: PodAmokKlip: PodAmokMusik: Her Går Det GodtInstagram: @hergaardetgodt @Peterfalktoft @Esbenbjerre

La sexualité, deux poids deux mesures pour les hommes et les femmes ? Euh... ben oui !!! Et comment même quand une femme assume sa sexualité " comme un homme " elle a du mal à le faire socialement. Un podcast Bababam Originals Ecrit par Hélène Vézier Monté par Romain Redon Retrouvez tous les épisodes de Madame Meuf ici. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rediff E69 Solen, James et leur jumeaux de 7 ans vivent au Porge, près de Lacanau. C'est là qu'ils ont posé et développé So Nice Surf School, leur école de surf et surfcamp. Un job parfait pour ces amoureux des voyages qui troquent les planches de surf contre des valises pour parcourir le monde. Euh en vrai ils prennent les leurs avec eux, parce que bon les bons spots de surf font toujours partie de leurs itinéraires. L'année dernière, Solen nous a raconté leur super voyage en Tanzanie dans l'épisode 38.  Cette année, elle nous emmène au Panama, le 1er pays de leur escapade annuelle. Santa Catalina, les îles San Blas en voilier, la rencontre avec la communauté indigène Embera dans le village de Darien, l'archipel de Bocas Del Toro… 4 semaines hors du temps au cœur d'une nature étonnante de beauté sur et sous l'eau. Allez, c'est parti pour le carnet de voyages de Solen au Panama. Je vous souhaite une belle écoute

Oui, c'est vrai, je n'ai pas parlé de la coupe du monde du rugby qui se déroule en France, ni des petites bébêtes indésirables qui auraient envahi le métro, mais qui ont surtout envahi l'espace médiatique ! Euh, « les bébêtes » me semble un sujet monté de toutes pièces, inintéressant au possible.  Le rugby, je reconnais aussi que ce n'est pas trop mon truc. Pourtant, l'autre soir, je suis allée jeter un œil à la « fan zone » du stade.  www.onethinginafrenchday.com  

Als je er als ondernemer in kan slagen om één ding te kiezen dat je doet en dat kraakhelder is, dan hoef je geen podcast te maken om uit te leggen wat je precies professioneel gezien doet. Euh, in deze podcast leg ik dus uit wat ik doe. Elke donderdag besteed ik aandacht aan het ondernemerschap. Want net als alle keuzes die je in je leven maakt, brengt de keuze voor het ondernemerschap behoorlijk wat met zich mee. Hoe ik daarmee om ga, hoor je op donderdag in de Tiny Podcast. Instagram: @Hade_wouters Mijn online trajecten en workshops - kijk hier: https://eu1.course-flow.com/shop/47929/ Op een koffie trakteren als 'vriend van de Tiny Podcast' kan via deze link: https://bunq.me/HadewijchWouters

Fluent Fiction - French: The Sweet Taste of Paris: Discovering Croissants Find the full episode transcript, vocabulary words, and more:fluentfiction.org/the-sweet-taste-of-paris-discovering-croissants Story Transcript:Fr: Dans les rues animées de Paris, Philippe errait avec un air perplexe.En: In the busy streets of Paris, Philippe wandered with a puzzled look.Fr: Il était entré dans une boulangerie pittoresque et se trouvait maintenant devant le comptoir, les yeux écarquillés devant les délicieuses pâtisseries qui s'étalaient devant lui.En: He had walked into a quaint bakery and now stood at the counter, eyes wide at the delicious pastries spread out before him.Fr: Mais il y avait un problème : il ne savait pas quel croissant acheter.En: But there was a problem: he didn't know which croissant to buy.Fr: Philippe était un homme simple qui venait de la campagne.En: Philippe was a simple man who came from the countryside.Fr: Il avait l'habitude des croissants réguliers, mais ici, dans cette boulangerie parisienne, le choix était écrasant.En: He was used to regular croissants, but here at this Parisian bakery the choice was overwhelming.Fr: Il y avait des croissants au beurre, aux amandes, au chocolat, aux noisettes et bien d'autres encore.En: There were croissants with butter, almonds, chocolate, hazelnuts and many more.Fr: En essayant d'y voir plus clair, Philippe approcha du comptoir.En: Trying to see more clearly, Philippe approached the counter.Fr: Le boulanger était un homme chaleureux avec une moustache grise et un tablier blanc taché de farine.En: The baker was a warm man with a gray mustache and a flour-stained white apron.Fr: "Bonsoir monsieur !En: "Good evening sir!Fr: Que puis-je vous servir aujourd'hui ?"En: What can I serve you today?"Fr: demanda-t-il avec un sourire amical.En: he asked with a friendly smile.Fr: Philippe, quelque peu intimidé, répondit : "Euh, je ne suis pas sûr de quel type de croissant je veux... ils ont tous l'air si délicieux."En: Philippe, somewhat intimidated, replied, "Uh, I'm not sure what kind of croissant I want...they all look so delicious."Fr: Le boulanger rit doucement et dit : "Ne vous inquiétez pas, monsieur.En: The baker laughed softly and said, "Don't worry, sir.Fr: Je vais vous aider à choisir."En: I'll help you choose."Fr: Il commença à expliquer les différentes saveurs et textures de chaque croissant, en soufflant à Philippe le doux parfum qui s'échappait de chaque petit pain.En: He began to explain the different flavors and textures of each croissant, whispering to Philippe the sweet scent that escaped from each bun.Fr: Finalement, Philippe décida d'acheter un croissant au chocolat et un croissant aux amandes.En: Finally, Philippe decided to buy a chocolate croissant and an almond croissant.Fr: Mais quand le boulanger prit les pâtisseries dans la vitrine, il se trompa et se retrouva avec une douzaine de différents croissants dans un sac.En: But when the baker took the pastries from the display case, he made a mistake and ended up with a dozen different croissants in a bag.Fr: "Oh non !En: "Oh no!Fr: J'ai accidentellement pris trop de croissants", s'exclama Philippe, le visage rouge de confusion.En: I accidentally took too many croissants," Philippe exclaimed, his face flushed with confusion.Fr: Le boulanger étouffa un rire et dit : "Ne vous en faites pas, monsieur.En: The baker stifled a laugh and said, "Don't worry, sir.Fr: Je vais vous laisser les garder tous.En: I'll let you keep them all.Fr: Considérez cela comme un cadeau de bienvenue à Paris."En: Consider it a welcome gift to Paris."Fr: Philippe fut soulagé et reconnaissant.En: Philippe was relieved and grateful.Fr: Il retourna chez lui avec son sac de croissants et les partagea avec sa famille et ses amis.En: He returned home with his bag of croissants and shared them with his family and friends.Fr: Chaque croissant était unique et délicieux à sa manière, et tous furent appréciés.En: Each croissant was unique and delicious in its own way, and all were appreciated.Fr: Ainsi, Philippe se rendit compte que parfois, c'est bien de se perdre dans les choix, car cela nous permet de découvrir de nouvelles choses.En: Thus, Philippe realized that sometimes it's good to get lost in the choices, because it allows us to discover new things.Fr: Chaque croissant était une petite aventure gustative, et il en profita pleinement.En: Each croissant was a little taste adventure, and he took full advantage of it.Fr: Depuis ce jour-là, Philippe devint un client régulier de la boulangerie parisienne.En: Since that day, Philippe became a regular customer of the Parisian bakery.Fr: Il revint souvent, prêt à découvrir de nouvelles pâtisseries et à partager ses histoires avec le boulanger.En: He returned often, ready to discover new pastries and share his stories with the baker.Fr: Et chaque fois qu'il se perdait dans le choix des croissants, le boulanger était là pour l'aider à faire le bon choix.En: And each time he got lost in the choice of croissants, the baker was there to help him make the right choice.Fr: Et ainsi se termina l'histoire de Philippe et de sa découverte des croissants parisiens.En: And so ended the story of Philippe and his discovery of Parisian croissants.Fr: La morale de cette histoire était que parfois, il faut se perdre un peu pour mieux se trouver.En: The moral of this story was that sometimes you have to get lost a little to find yourself better.Fr: Et aussi, que les croissants parisiens sont tout simplement délicieux, peu importe lequel vous choisissez.En: And also, that Parisian croissants are simply delicious no matter which one you choose.Fr: Fin.En: END. Vocabulary Words:streets: ruesParis: Pariswandered: erraitpuzzled: perplexewalked: entrébakery: boulangeriecounter: comptoireyes: yeuxwide: écarquillésdelicious: délicieusespastries: pâtisseriesbuy: achetersimple: simpleman: hommecountryside: campagneregular: réguliersoverwhelming: écrasantbutter: beurrealmonds: amandeschocolate: chocolathazelnuts: noisettesapproached: approchawarm: chaleureuxmustache: moustacheflour-stained: taché de farinewhite: blancapron: tablierserve: servirfriendly: amicalsmile: sourireintimidated: intimidésure: sûrlaughed: ritsoftly: doucementsweet: douxscent: parfumescaped: échappaiteach: chaquebun: petit paindecided: décidamistake: trompadozen: douzaineexclaimed: s'exclamaface: visageflushed: rougeconfusion: confusionstifled: étouffakeep: garderrelieved: soulagégrateful: reconnaissantreturned: revinthome: chez luibag: sacshared: partageafamily: famillefriends: amisunique: uniqueadventure: aventuretaste: gustativefull advantage: profita pleinementsince: depuisday: jourcustomer: clientready: prêtdiscover: découvrirstories: histoireshelp: aiderright: bonchoice: choixended: terminadiscovery: découvertemoral: moralesometimes: parfoisbetter: mieuxsimply: simplementno matter: peu importewhich: lequelchoose: choisissez

Vous saurez tout sur le gaspacho, son origine mais surtout comment le réussir. Quand on dit Gaspacho, on pense à L'andalousie et c'est en effet sa région d'origine mais sachez que le portugal n'est pas en reste ni même le reste de l'Espagne. C'est sans surprise un plat de pauvre dont l'origine est nébuleuse. On parle du moyen-âge, sans doute un mercredi. Comme beaucoup de plats populaires, il s'agit d'une énième recette pour recycler le pain rassis. La tomate, comme vous le savez, étant d'origine américaine, les premier gaspachos n'en contenaient pas.  Le gaspacho tire son nom du mot casposo qui veut dire “indécent, pelliculeux”, entendez par là “rempli de pleins de petit trucs” en référence au lissage du potage qui est supposé être assez grossier. Et alors, le gaspacho portugais se reconnaît à sa mouture. Il est moins mixé, il ressemble un peu à un tartare de légumes dans son jus. Euh non, en fait, il ressemble pas, c'est exactement un tartare de légumes dans son jus… Dans la pratique, je pense que chacun à son gaspacho idéal et je vous invite à expérimenter les proportions et les ingrédients. Commencez par une base classique de gaspacho andalou ; tomates, concombre, poivron, ail, huile d'olive, un peu de pain et de vinaigre de xérès. La recette est simple, vous coupez le tout et laissez reposer cette salade au frigo toute une nuit. Le lendemain vous mixez et rectifiez l'hydratation en ajoutant un peu d'eau ou de glaçon. Le reste est à votre convenance, certains filtrent le gaspacho d'autres non, certains ajoutent des oignons, moi je le fais pas mais c'est personnel, beaucoup le font pour avoir une note de piquant. Les poivrons seront plutôt verts ou rouges suivant le goût que vous recherchez. Vous pouvez aussi vous passer du pain si c'est impactant pour votre régime cétogène par exemple. Le plus important, c'est le vinaigre de xérès et le repos toute une nuit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quelque chose me dit que tu n'es pas encore en âge de boire de la bière… Euh, mais c'est quoi le rapport avec cette expression québécoise? Et bien il va falloir écouter l'épisode du balado pour le savoir! Texte: Dorothy Mombrun. Voix: Aïsha Jolicoeur. Voix titre : Micheline Marchildon Direction éditoriale: Lucie Laumonier. Direction des comédiens : Alex Beausoleil. Réalisation, conception sonore, enregistrement et montage: Nicolas Serrus pour Les Studios Bakery. Mixage : Ivann Uruena pour Les Studios Bakery Illustration : Juliane Choquette-Lelarge

En grandissant, je ne voulais pas grand chose : seulement être heureux et avoir la paix. Seulement, une fois la tempête passée, je me suis retrouvé face à une réalité qui faisait très mal : qui suis-je lorsque je ne souffre pas ? Qui suis-je lorsque mon seul challenge est moi-même ? Dans ce premier épisode de "Euh... quoi ?" j'ai décidé de donner une timeline depuis mon emménagement à Marseille pour pouvoir planter le décor et surtout faire suite à l'une de mes vidéos les plus personnelles, "Qui je suis vraiment". Suivre le podcast : Instagram : https://instagram.com/euhquoipodcast / @euhquoipodcast Twitter : https://twitter.com/euhquoipodcast / @euhquoipodcast TikTok : https://tiktok.com/euhquoipodcast / @euhquoipodcast Envoyer un mail (question, témoignage) : euhquoipodcast@gmail.com Artwork : Maïa Esquerre : https://maiaesquerre.com/ Mix/Mastering : Ajar : https://www.instagram.com/ajarloup/

مدرسهٔ آنلاین نزدیکتر حمایت من در سایت حامی ‌باش کانال یوتوب من برای آموزش زبان   ترجمه شفاهی : مصطفی شالچی   41.Conjectures Alors il s'est passé une chose terrible : j'ai commencé à garder mes chaussettes pour dormir. Il fallait réagir, sans quoi bientôt je me mettrais à boire ma propre urine. Je me retournais dans mon lit en songeant à ce que m'avait dit Jean-Georges. Et s'il avait raison ? Il fallait rappeler Anne. Après tout, puisque Alice ne voulait pas venir, j'avais peut-être eu tort de divorcer. Tout n'était pas perdu : beaucoup de gens retombent amoureux de leur époux le lendemain du divorce. Tiens : Adeline et Johnny. Non, mauvais exemple. Euh, Liz Taylor et Richard Burton. Pas tellement mieux. Je pourrais récupérer Anne. Il fallait récupérer Anne. Tout était rattrapable. Nous n'avions pas tout essayé. Nous allions tout essayer. À force de ne pas se parler pour se ménager l'un l'autre, nous nous étions quittés sans rien nous dire. Nous serions ensemble, à nouveau, et ririons bientôt en évoquant notre séparation. Nous en avions vu d'autres. Non, à la réflexion, nous n'en avions pas vu d'autres. Autrefois les mariages résistaient à ce genre de passades. Aujourd'hui les mariages sont des passades. La société dans laquelle nous sommes nés repose sur l'égoïsme. Les sociologues nomment cela l'individualisme alors qu'il y a un mot plus simple : nous vivons dans la société de la solitude. Il n'y a plus de familles, plus de villages, plus de Dieu. Nos aînés nous ont délivrés de toutes ces oppressions et à la place ils ont allumé la télévision. Nous sommes abandonnés à nous-mêmes, incapables de nous intéresser à quoi que ce soit d'autre que notre nombril. J'ai tout de même échafaudé un plan. J'espérais ne pas être obligé d'en arriver à cette extrémité mais le départ d'Alice en vacances avec son mari mérite une riposte nucléaire. Cette fois on jette la dignité à la rivière. Mon plan, c'est de rappeler Anne. Je décroche le téléphone avec un sourire que je voudrais machiavélique et qui n'est qu'intimidé.   42. L'émouvant stratagème — Ça fait combien de temps qu'on ne s'est pas vus ? ai-je demandé à Anne en tirant sur la table du restaurant pour qu'elle puisse s'asseoir sur la banquette. Avant, nous aimions dîner côte à côte dans cette brasserie, mais avant c'était avant, et ce soir nous dînons face à face. Elle m'observe avec curiosité avant de répondre : — Quatre mois, une semaine, trois jours, huit heures et (elle dit cela en vérifiant sur sa montre) seize minutes. — Et quarante-trois secondes, quarante-quatre, quarante-cinq… Nous commençons par occuper la conversation avec toutes les choses qui permettent d'éviter l'essentiel : nos métiers, nos amis, nos souvenirs. Comme si tout ce qui s'est passé n'avait pas eu lieu. Mais Anne voit bien que je suis malheureux, et ça la rend malheureuse de ne pas en être la cause. Au dessert, énervée, elle m'agresse un peu. — Bon, tu ne m'as pas invitée à dîner pour qu'on se raconte des histoires de vieux amis. Qu'est-ce que tu veux me dire ? — Eh bien… Il y a des affaires à toi à la maison, je me demandais si tu voulais venir les récupérer. Et en même temps, on aurait pu en profiter pour passer le week-end ensemble et voir si… — Hein ? T'es tombé sur la tête ou quoi ? On est divorcés mon vieux ! Je vois très bien que ce n'est pas moi dont tu es amoureux, et puis merde, je ne suis pas un jouet que tu peux trimballer ! — Chut ! Pas si fort… Je m'adresse à nos voisins de table : — Nous sommes divorcés, je viens de lui proposer de partir en week-end et elle a refusé. Voilà, ça va, vous savez tout. Vous pouvez arrêter d'écouter maintenant ? Ou alors votre vie avec cette radasse en face de vous est tellement merdique que vous avez besoin d'écouter celle des autres ? Le voisin se lève, moi aussi, nos femmes nous séparent, bref, il y a de l'action dans ce bouquin. Puis je paie l'addition et nous sortons du restaurant. Dehors, il fait encore plus nuit qu'avant. Dans la rue, nous faisons quelques pas en rigolant. Je lui demande pardon. Elle me dit que ça va. Elle semble accepter cette rupture mieux que moi. — Marc, il est trop tard. Nous avons atteint un point de non-retour. J'aime quelqu'un, et toi aussi : nous n'avons plus rien à faire ensemble. — Je sais, je sais, je suis ridicule… Je me disais qu'on aurait pu réessayer… Tu es sûre que tu ne veux pas que je te raccompagne ? — Je sais, je sais, je suis ridicule… Je me disais qu'on aurait pu réessayer… Tu es sûre que tu ne veux pas que je te raccompagne ? — Non, merci, je vais prendre ce taxi… Marc, je vais te donner un tuyau pour tes rapports avec tes prochaines femmes. Il faut que tu apprennes à te mettre à leur place. Et puis soudain, au moment de se séparer, l'émotion monte. Nous retenons nos larmes, mais elles coulent à l'intérieur de nos visages. Son rire d'enfant, je ne l'entendrai plus. Mon successeur en profitera à ma place, s'il la fait rire. Anne est devenue une étrangère. Nous nous quittons pour poursuivre notre chemin, chacun de son côté. Elle monte dans le taxi, je referme doucement la portière, elle me sourit à travers la vitre, et la voiture s'éloigne… Dans un beau film, je me mettrais à courir après le taxi sous la pluie, et nous tomberions dans les bras l'un de l'autre au prochain feu rouge. Ou bien ce serait elle qui changerait d'avis, soudain, et supplierait le chauffeur de s'arrêter, comme Audrey Hepburn/Holly Golightly à la fin de Breakfast at Tiffany's. Mais nous ne sommes pas dans un film. Nous sommes dans la vie où les taxis roulent. On quitte d'abord la maison de ses parents, et ensuite, parfois, on quitte la maison de son premier mariage, et c'est toujours la même peine qu'on ressent, celle de se sentir, une fois pour toutes, orphelin.  

"Euh... Apparemment il y a une vidéo qui circule de Laremy Tunsil en train de fumer de l'herbe dans un masque à gaz." Il y a des choses comme ça qui ne s'oublient pas.La Draft 2016 a été celle des sélections de Jared Goff et Carson Wentz aux deux premières places. Jalen Ramsey et Joey Bosa sont aussi arrivés dans la ligue dans le Top 10 de cette cuvée.Mais Tunsil avait animé la soirée d'une manière assez particulière, quand la fameuse vidéo de lui en train de fumer avait été mise en ligne sur son propre compte Twitter seulement 13 minutes avant le début du premier tour !À l'époque, Gregory Richard, Jonathan Pham, Raphaël Masmejean et Alain Mattei étaient au micro.Bonne écoute ! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/touchdown-actu-nfl-podcast. Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

durée : 00:02:43 - Le sketch, par Jupiter ! - par : Alex Vizorek, Charline Vanhoenacker - L'équipe a décidé de revisiter les classiques du Français à l'heure de la pénurie d'essence ! Eric Ruf, notre invité, a accepté de participer à notre sketch du jour !

L : Ah au fait, le voisin est passé pour s'excuser du bruit des travaux !J : C'est sympa ! Il nous a offert de nouveaux tympans j'espère ?L : Haha, non mais par contre il nous a filé une boîte de chocolats pour se faire pardonner !J : Miam ! Trop cool ! Euh par contre, elle est où la boîte, je la vois pas ?L : Euuuh, je t'avoue que j'avais un peu faim … Mais si il repasse en offrir, je t'en laisserai la prochaine fois ! Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

L : Ah au fait, le voisin est passé pour s'excuser du bruit des travaux ! J : C'est sympa ! Il nous a offert de nouveaux tympans j'espère ? L : Haha, non mais par contre il nous a filé une boîte de chocolats pour se faire pardonner ! J : Miam ! Trop cool ! Euh par contre, elle est où la boîte, je la vois pas ? L : Euuuh, je t'avoue que j'avais un peu faim … Mais si il repasse en offrir, je t'en laisserai la prochaine fois ! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices