Podcast appearances and mentions of Dean Martin

In this episode we're mixing a Martini and taking a bubble bath as we reload our pistols on The Silencers from 1966, the first of the Matt Helm films starring Dean Martin. Along the way Paul wonders if he's ever been hip (answers on a postcard),  Colin gets down with The Return of Bruno, and we both wonder what the soundtrack of our lives would be.

Hey Streetwalkers. This is a throwback episode with guest Joanna Kerns. Joanna first appeared on the show on 7.4.22. It was such a compelling & fun episode, l decided it needed to be re-visited! Enjoy this throwback episode, tell a friend, and thanks for listening!Joanna KernsTake a walk with me down Fascination Street as I get to know Joanna Kerns. Beginning her showbiz career as a dancer, Joanna worked with legends such as Gene Kelly and Dean Martin! We talk about those icons, and then discuss how she landed the historic role of Maggie Seaver on the hit TV show growing Pains. She shares stories about working with Alan Thicke, Kirk Cameron and Tracy Gold. Then we move into her directing career, where she has directed a ton of TV shows spanning sit-com's, to drama's, to dramedies. Finally, we talk about A Million Little Things. Joanna is co-executive producer, and director of this smash hit on ABC. We chat about what exactly her role as co-EP entails, and a little bit about working with James Roday and Jason Ritter before briefly sharing the news that she will be directing one of the episodes of the resurrected TV show Night Court! In the end we make each other a promise, and I don't know if l can fulfill mine!Follow Joanne on social media:Twit: @JoannaKernsInsta: @The.Real.joannaKernsFB: @JoannaKerns

Charles Bronson and the Three Stooges in the same movie??? Oh yeah!!! Scott Sabo and I look at 4 For Texas. It also has Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. How does this western/comedy from 1963 hold up? Does Bronson play a good, bad guy? How are the Stooges in their cameos? Have a listen and find out. You can support this podcast with my Patreon page with the link below. This podcast can be found on Cross The Streams Media platform. www.patreon.com/scottwhite www.scottyblanco.com www.instagram.com/scottspodcasts www.youtube.com/scottwhitecomedian www.sabobrick.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Diese Sendung hat Andreas Pasternack zusammengestellt. Das LIVE-Anspiel ist: „Ain't misbehavin‘“ – ein Klassiker von Fats Waller, 1929 veröffentlicht. Folgende Titel sind zu hören: 1. Mack the Knife – Frank Sinatra 4:55 2. I'm a fool to want you – Fraddy Cole 5:55 3. Just the two of us – Grover Washington Jr. & Bill Withers 3:55 4. Ain't misbehavin' – Fats Waller 2:59 5. I put a spell on you – Seal 2:56 6. Let's just say goodbye – David Sanborn 4:37 7. C'est si bon – Dean Martin 2:55 8. Me and Mrs. Jones – Max Mutzke & Cassandra Steen 4:24 9. Cha Cha du nord – Omar Sosa & NDR Bigband 6:09 Für Titelwünsche und Anregungen schreiben Sie gern an: jazztime.mv@ndr.de Keep Swingin' !!!

Graham Skidmore, an entrepreneur, activist, and former C-suite executive, explores how AI can help people move beyond busy work and spend more time using the skills that make them valuable. Drawing on his own experience with burnout, he challenges organizations to rethink how people and technology work together.Tune in to hear his perspective on experiential learning, human connection, and measuring what truly matters. Connect with Graham at SAS Technologies or on LinkedIn.Show Notes[00:26] Introducing Graham SkidmoreGraham shares his journey from 21 years in the corporate world, including as a C-suite executive, to reaching “the height of my success” and “the height of my misery and burnout.” After eight years of self-discovery and healing, he began his second chapter as an entrepreneur, activist, and mystic focused on “providing power to the people.”[01:47] The Strength of Experiential LearningHe explains why experiential learning is one of the things that “really makes humans their strength.” Referencing the Dean Martin quote, “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment,” he explores how emotion and lived experience shape decisions and how AI can move beyond “one-size-fits-all approaches.”[03:47] Using AI to Remove the Busy WorkHe suggests identifying the one to three things that represent an individual or team's real strengths, then using technology to handle the “busy work” and “distraction work.” This gives people more time to apply their subject matter expertise through problem solving, innovation, and generating revenue.[04:59] A First Principles Approach to WorkHe challenges organizations to stop focusing on “incremental optimization within broken systems.” Instead, he suggests taking a “first principles approach” and asking what the best-case scenario would be if they were “building this company out of our garage right now.” From there, organizations can rethink how people and technology work together.[06:39] Where Human Connection Creates ValueUsing customer service as an example, Graham explains how focusing on efficiency through chatbots can cause organizations to lose valuable human connection. An upset customer can become an advocate when a person turns their problem into a win. For Graham, “loyalty doesn't come from programs and rewards and benefits” — it comes from taking care of customers.[08:29] The Dehumanization of HumansHe identifies the “dehumanization of humans” as one of the worst things that can happen in the AI transition. When employees feel their ideas can simply be replaced with technology, they can become less motivated to bring forward “innovation and invention” and “free thinking,” creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of greater reliance on technology.[09:27] The 70% That Isn't the JobLooking back on his career, Graham estimates that he spent about 30% of his time doing his job and 70% “preparing stuff for other people, dealing with other people's stuff” and supporting work around the work. He explains how automation could free people to spend more time leveraging their subject matter expertise.[10:37] Measuring What Really MattersGraham explains why organizations need to look beyond “butts in the seat,” busyness, and traditional KPIs. Better technology and workflows can help leaders understand what it looks like when someone is truly leveraging their subject matter expertise and measure the impact that creates.[12:05] Giving Your Best People the Ability to Stand OutGraham believes that “your best people want that” when it comes to measurement. Objective measures give strong performers the ability to stand out, rather than leaving them frustrated in a subjective environment where their contributions can be harder to distinguish.[12:41] Where to Learn More About Graham SkidmoreListeners can learn more about Graham's technology work and his manifesto for the future at SAS Technologies. He also shares articles and insights on LinkedIn.

Today on Episode 255, the guys continue their Western Retrospective. Next up is our first team up of John Wayne and Dean Martin. Will these two be able to coexist and will this film live up to the hype that surrounds it within the genre? Tune in to find out!Be Sure to Follow The Hosts on X and Blue Sky!Kevin “OptimusSolo” Thompson and Dan “The Comic Concierge” Clark!

In this episode of American Tapestry Project, Andrew Roth examines the careers and cultural impact of Perry Como, Dick Haymes, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Eddie Fisher, and Tony Bennett. From Como's comforting postwar sound to Cole's elegant artistry, Martin's relaxed charm, Fisher's youthful appeal, and Bennett's transformation of the Great American Songbook through jazz, these singers helped redefine how Americans experienced popular music and romance. The episode also explores the immigrant roots and Italian bel canto traditions that influenced many of these voices, showing how immigration helped shape the sound of American popular culture.

Muzyka, której warto słuchać i albumy warte uznania.

"Ain't that a kick in the head," goes the famous Dean Martin song — and Chelsea fans were asking exactly that after Gabriel caught Emiliano Martinez flush in the face inside five minutes at the Emirates. Chris and Joe pick through the incident that split social media, the VAR call that let it go, and why Sky's own pundits couldn't explain it either. Beyond the flashpoint, Morgan Rogers' 77-second opener kept the fast start going before Kai Havertz and Martin Ødegaard turned the game and secured a 2-1 Arsenal win. Cole Palmer and João Pedro both come in for scrutiny, Estêvão's late cameo earns praise, and the pair look ahead to Leeds in the League Cup. 0:00 Arsenal 2-1 Chelsea: the fallout0:30 Morgan Rogers' fast start and Havertz punishing Chelsea11:00 The Gabriel-Martinez kick and the VAR controversy19:00 Joe's red card verdict28:30 Leeds United League Cup preview — ★ ★ — Meet the HostsChris Sheen and Joe Kevin are lifelong Chelsea fans who've been going to Stamford Bridge for over 30 years.What started as swapping post-match voicenotes has grown into a fan pod capturing the highs, the lows, and everything in between from Gate 13 of the Matthew Harding Stand. — ★ ★ — The 1905 PodcastChelsea FC Founded: 1905European Champions: 19/05

Eighty-five million people watched the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon at its peak in 1976. Almost every significant American comedian performed on it at some point. Don Rickles insulted Lewis to his face at Caesars Palace in 1982 — you can watch it on YouTube. Jerry Seinfeld appeared in 1995 at the height of Seinfeld. Jimmy Fallon did standup on it in 1997, a year before SNL. Ralphie May worked the overnight casino crowd before Last Comic Standing. Johnny Mac looks at what the telethon actually was as a comedy document — what happened in the overnight hours, why the Rickles-Lewis dynamic worked, what the 1976 Dean Martin reunion tells you about what live television could do that nothing else could, and why forty-four years of staying up all night for charity produced one of the longest continuous comedy archives in American television history.What comedians appeared on the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon?" – "Did Don Rickles appear on the Jerry Lewis telethon?" – "Did Jimmy Fallon perform standup on the MDA telethon?" – "Did Ralphie May appear on the Jerry Lewis telethon?" – "Did Jerry Seinfeld appear on the MDA telethon?" – "What was the 1976 Dean Martin Jerry Lewis reunion?" – "Why was Jerry Lewis fired from the MDA telethon?" – "What did Jim Carrey say about Jerry Lewis?" – "How long was the Jerry Lewis telethon?" – "What happened in the overnight hours of the Jerry Lewis telethon?"Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/daily-comedy-news-with-johnny-mac--4522158/support.Today's DCN is brought to you by MyBookie use promo code DCN!Daily Comedy News is hosted by Johnny Mac and releases every weekday. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite app. Part of the Caloroga Shark Media network. For transcripts and show notes visit www.dailycomedynews.comDaily Comedy News with Johnny Mac is a daily podcast covering comedians, stand-up comedy, late night television, and the comedy industry. New episodes every morning. Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.  Contact John at John@thesharkdeck dot com For Uninterrupted Listening, use the Apple Podcast App and click the banner that says Uninterrupted Listening.  $4.99/month John's Substack about media is free. 

This is the Music History Today podcast for September 5. On today's show, a car accident inspires a classic song, Dean Martin reunites with Jerry Lewis, & the world loses Sergio Mendes. For more music history, subscribe to my Spotify Channel or subscribe to the audio version of my music history podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts fromALL MUSIC HISTORY TODAY PODCAST NETWORK LINKS - https://allmylinks.com/musichistorytodayChapters: 00:00 Intro 00:34 What happened on this date in music history06:05 Music award ceremonies that were held on this date in music history07:37 Albums released on this date in music history 12:44 Singles released on this date in music history 15:20 Birthdays of music artists on this date in music history 23:22 Passings of music artists on this date in music history 32:56 What's on tomorrow's episode

KPFA Theatre Critic Richard Wolinsky reviews “The White Chip” by Sean Daniels, directed by Lance Gardner, at Marin Theatre through September 20, 2026.               TEXT OF REVIEW: We live in a world of addiction. Drugs, tobacco, overeating, even mindless scrolling. But the granddaddy of all addictions, going back millennia, is of course alcoholism. 

It's been a long time since the drunken comedy of people like W.C. Fields or even Dean Martin, and the serious stuff, about actual alcoholism, is always very serious. So it's a surprise and maybe a shock to see a comedy about the subject, The White Chip by Sean Daniels, now at Marin Theatre through September 20th, which tells a largely autobiographical story about a young theatre director who is, until he isn't, a very functioning drunk. The White Chip sets itself up as a memory play, with Steven, our narrator, telling us how he first meets alcohol as a teenager, how the drinking continues ,while work afterward as a theatre director and artistic director collide with his growing love of the bottle. 

The White Chip itself refers to a poker-chip given at AA meetings to those who first show up, or to those coming back after a relapse. A new beginning, they say, a fresh start. And over the course of the play, Steven McAlister gets a lot of them. One of the primary methods of overcoming alcohol is to trust in a higher power. But what if you're an atheist? What if religion makes you run in the opposite direction, as it does for the ex-Mormon Steven? How can you get better if the only cure is another addiction, an addiction to world of wishes and prayers? 

Ben Clark is pitch-perfect as Steven, narrator and participant in his life story. Two castmates play all the characters around him, Lyndsy Kail taking all the women's roles, most affecting as Steven's mother , and Danny Shae all the male roles, often escaping his usual Bay Area typecasting.

The narration is serious and sardonic, always self-aware, and the action and dialogue reflect the fact that, as the playwright himself once noted, the antics of alcoholics can often be silly and sidesplittingly funny. There's hilarity in the tragedy. The White Chip feels so real, and Sean Daniels is so truthful in his writing, that the play could be triggering for those who have beaten addiction. And while many of us have never been in Steven's shoes, we've all witnessed Stevens in our lives. No matter who you are, this is a production that hits very close to home. The White Chip by Sean Daniels, directed by Lance Gardner, plays at Marin Theatre through September 20th. For more information you can go to marintheatre.org. I'm Richard Wolinsky on Bay Area theatre for KPFA. The post Review: “The White Chip” at Marin Theatre appeared first on KPFA.

Hollywood And Horsepower Show with Mark Otto Frank Santorelli: From Boston Comedy Clubs to The Sopranos and Beyond Summary From Class Clown to the Comedy Stage Frank Santorelli describes an early instinct for making people laugh, beginning with childhood impressions and class-clown behavior before his first organized performance as a guard in a school production of The Wizard of Oz. He says his professional stand-up path began around 1981 after he was living in New York City and studying acting with ambitions of becoming a dramatic actor. A friend encouraged him to try an open mic in Cleveland, where he won repeatedly and was soon placed into regular comedy shows. Santorelli recalls narrowly missing Drew Carey at the Cleveland club and then expanding into venues in Pittsburgh, Chicago, and other cities. He moved to Boston in 1985 as the city's comedy scene was booming with clubs, colleges, and one-night engagements. The discussion emphasizes how many nights a week young comics worked and how little money they often made while trying to establish themselves. The Competitive Craft of Stand-Up Comedy Santorelli and Marc Otto discuss the difficult progression from opener to middle act to headliner and the amount of material required to close a show successfully. Santorelli explains that he needed roughly forty-five minutes of strong material before he could become a reliable headliner and that comics at every level were trying to outperform the act ahead of them. They describe Boston as a working comedy market rather than merely a showcase city, which meant comedians had to deliver for paying audiences night after night. Otto brings up the importance of clean, durable material and the amount of writing that goes into apparently effortless stand-up. Santorelli says he still develops material by noticing what strikes him as funny and writing it down so it can be shaped later. Both men also reflect on how the collaborative camaraderie of earlier comedy scenes has become less common as performers increasingly work as independent operators. Breaking Into Acting and Building a Screen Career Santorelli explains that professional acting opportunities began to arrive after managers and agents saw him performing stand-up in New York. Early work included a commercial for the Omni Biltmore in Providence, a television role on Providence, and an early film he remembers as Crooked Lines. He says he continued doing stand-up while acting because television and film jobs paid more but were unpredictable and separated by long gaps. The scheduling could also be difficult because actors might be called to a set before dawn and then wait many hours before their scenes were shot. Santorelli describes balancing the financial reliability of live comedy with the opportunity and higher pay of screen work. The conversation later touches on Meet the Parents, where he says he worked in a scene with Ben Stiller and met Robert De Niro on set. He characterizes De Niro as highly professional and businesslike while emphasizing that he avoided asking working stars for photographs or selfies. Becoming Georgie on The Sopranos Santorelli recounts auditioning for what was then an unknown project called The Sopranos after being told the production needed a bouncer-type character. He describes reading for casting director Georgianne Walken and performing the repeated "hello" phone bit that became associated with his character, Georgie. Although he was hired as a one-day player, Santorelli says David Chase ordered elaborate tattoos for him and encouraged the physical business and background activity he improvised around the club set. Santorelli built Georgie by constantly cleaning, moving, kibitzing, and adding silent reactions, and he realized the production might bring him back when Chase insisted that the makeup department photograph the tattoos for continuity. He says the one-day job eventually became thirteen episodes without a long-term contract, with the production simply calling him back as needed. He also describes the large cast read-throughs, the hierarchy around the table, the early Radio City Music Hall screening, and the excitement of realizing the new series might become something extraordinary. James Gandolfini, Ensemble Chemistry, and Celebrity Encounters Santorelli remembers James Gandolfini as serious, hardworking, pressured, and personally very different from Tony Soprano. He emphasizes the enormous emotional and dialogue burden Gandolfini carried because so much of the series revolved around his character. Otto and Santorelli discuss how The Sopranos blended crime drama, family conflict, humor, and multiple overlapping story lines in a way that helped make the series compelling. Santorelli says most of the cast did not even know he was also a stand-up comedian, and he recalls Michael Imperioli reacting with surprise when the subject came up. The conversation expands into stories about Robert De Niro, Don Rickles, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Foster Brooks, Joe Piscopo, Tom Selleck, and other performers whose professional habits or comic instincts made an impression. Santorelli and Otto repeatedly return to the idea that performers such as Rickles could improvise fearlessly because they had an unusual command of timing, character, and the room. Still Working, Still Auditioning, and Still Writing Santorelli says he remains active in stand-up comedy and continues to work multiple dates in a week. He explains that his method for developing material is simple but disciplined: recognize what is genuinely funny to him, write it down, remember it, and test or refine it. He and Otto discuss advice from comedians such as Jay Leno and the unforgiving instant feedback of a live audience, where a joke either produces a laugh or it does not. Santorelli also says he continues auditioning for television, mentioning Dexter: Resurrection and Tulsa King as recent opportunities for which he came close to being cast. He does not believe his Sopranos identity prevents him from being considered for new roles because casting is often driven by whether an actor visually and dramatically fits the part in front of them. The episode closes with Santorelli directing listeners to Facebook for updates, followed by Otto's acknowledgments of Old Friends Equine and No Fallen Heroes and his appeal for listeners to support the organizations if they can.

We're kicking off the week with drones, drunkards and plenty of unusual options action on this episode of The Option Block. Mark Longo is joined by Andrew "The Rock Lobster" Giovinazzi from Option Pit and "Uncle" Mike Tosaw from St. Charles Wealth Management to break down the latest moves across the options markets. On this episode, we discuss: A red start to the week and what the VIX is telling us The latest action in Tesla, NVIDIA, Apple, Micron and other heavily traded names Some surprising activity in small-cap options A wild surge in Draganfly (DPRO) calls as drone stocks light up the tape Aggressive put buying in Revolve Group (RVLV) The upcoming earnings volatility picture for Dell, Ollie's Bargain Outlet, Five Below, Snowflake and Lululemon Using index puts to hedge a stock portfolio Whether low volatility and stocks near their highs make this an attractive time to consider portfolio protection What the crew is watching as we move beyond the dog days of summer Plus, W.C. Fields, Dean Martin, Johnny Carson and a surprisingly difficult round of legendary-drunkard trivia It's another packed episode of options activity, strategy, market analysis and questionable humor on The Option Block.

We're kicking off the week with drones, drunkards and plenty of unusual options action on this episode of The Option Block. Mark Longo is joined by Andrew "The Rock Lobster" Giovinazzi from Option Pit and "Uncle" Mike Tosaw from St. Charles Wealth Management to break down the latest moves across the options markets. On this episode, we discuss: A red start to the week and what the VIX is telling us The latest action in Tesla, NVIDIA, Apple, Micron and other heavily traded names Some surprising activity in small-cap options A wild surge in Draganfly (DPRO) calls as drone stocks light up the tape Aggressive put buying in Revolve Group (RVLV) The upcoming earnings volatility picture for Dell, Ollie's Bargain Outlet, Five Below, Snowflake and Lululemon Using index puts to hedge a stock portfolio Whether low volatility and stocks near their highs make this an attractive time to consider portfolio protection What the crew is watching as we move beyond the dog days of summer Plus, W.C. Fields, Dean Martin, Johnny Carson and a surprisingly difficult round of legendary-drunkard trivia It's another packed episode of options activity, strategy, market analysis and questionable humor on The Option Block.

On connaît tous la silhouette de Frank Sinatra : le chapeau, le smoking impeccable, le verre à la main et ce sourire en coin inimitable. Mais dans ce nouvel épisode de La Story Nostalgie, Brice Depasse nous invite à regarder Sinatra autrement, non plus comme un simple interprète, mais comme le premier architecte du glamour médiatique moderne.Car avant les réseaux sociaux, avant Instagram et ses cocktails mis en scène, il y avait Life, Paris Match et les actualités du cinéma. C'est par ces fenêtres que le monde entier a découvert les suites des grands hôtels de Las Vegas, les restaurants où l'on dîne après minuit, les soirées interminables du Rat Pack aux côtés de Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. et de la splendide Ava Gardner.Sinatra n'a rien inventé, certes. Néron, Oscar Wilde ou Lord Byron étaient déjà de fameux fêtards. Mais lui a transformé la fête en spectacle permanent, accessible à tous les regards. Il a vendu un imaginaire puissant : celui d'une vie où chaque dîner ressemble à un film et où l'élégance consiste à commander un bon whisky au bar d'un palace.Alors, quand on filme aujourd'hui ses cocktails et ses chambres d'hôtel en croyant avoir inventé une nouvelle façon de raconter sa vie, on ne fait en réalité que courir après un rêve bien plus ancien. Et Brice Depasse de conclure avec une pique aussi élégante que définitive : le vrai glamour, c'est ce qu'on ne montre jamais.

Welcome to PTBN Pop's Movie Review of The Day! Every weekday we will be reviewing a movie whether it be currently in theaters, featured on streaming or just a film that we hold near and dear to us. On today's episode, Andy Atherton is reviewing “The Cannonball II” from 1984 starring Burt Reynolds Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. & Jamie Farr.

In this episode of The American Tapestry Project, Andrew Roth explores the rise of the male crooner and how the microphone and radio transformed the American love song between 1925 and 1955. Tracing the careers of Gene Austin, Rudy Vallee, Russ Colombo, Bing Crosby, Lanny Ross, and Frank Sinatra, Roth examines how these singers moved romantic music from the family parlor to the radio and into the homes of millions of Americans. From Austin's intimate vocal style and Vallee's emergence as a national celebrity to Crosby's conversational delivery and Sinatra's emotionally powerful interpretations, the crooners changed not only popular music but also American ideas about romance, intimacy, and masculinity. The episode concludes by looking at Sinatra's lasting influence and sets the stage for the next chapter of the story, featuring Perry Como, Dick Haymes, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Eddie Fisher, and Tony Bennett.

RMR 0375: Special Guest, Dan LeFebvre, from Based on a True Story Podcast, joins your hosts, Chad Robinson, and Russell Guest for the Retro Movie Roundtable as they revisit Rio Bravo (1959) [PG] Genre: Western   Starring: John Wayne, Dean Martin, Ricky Nelson, Angie Dickinson, Walter Brennan, Ward Bond, John Russell, Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez, Estelita Rodriguez, Claude Akins Claude Akins, Malcolm Atterbury, Harry Carey Jr.   Directed by: Howard Hawks Recorded on 2026-06-10

In this show, Steve puts out an hour of International Capital Songs.  Songs about capitol cities.  In this show you will hear these artists: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Simple Minds, OMD, Passengers, Michael Monroe, Frank Sinatra, Morrissey, The Style Council, The Ramones, Alex Chilton, The Clash, Muse, Ultravox, Stiff Little Fingers, Sammy and Dean Martin.   On most podcast platforms. Facebook: SuburbanUndergroundRadio     Instagram: SuburbanUnderground     #newwave #altrock #alternativerock #punkrock #indierock

This week’s episode is a little update on Betsy’s dating endeavors and a reminder to us all not to overthink things. Live in the present and focus on good things. We don’t always have to look for the potential of something, we can simply feel the enjoyment in present moments. A message with perfect timing as Betsy departs for the very first Live Big retreat in Belize! Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.  Hello, everyone. Hi, welcome to the show today. I am getting ready to leave for our trip to Belize. I just dropped Dean Martin off at kitty camp, and he was so, he was so unhappy. He made a little sound I’ve never heard before when I put him in his carrier. Poor little guy. He’ll be okay, but it’s the longest he’s ever been at kitty camp, and he likes Camp Kitty, I think it’s called. I think he likes it, but it is painful, right? To be without our babies So I wanna say that Joy and I recorded a really, a pretty long episode earlier in the week, and– or it was, like, the end of last week we recorded. And, you know, I had this whole plan. I was gonna,, explain the metamorphosis that had happened in my life over the past eight weeks. And then, you know, we recorded, and then I went in to, , listen to a couple parts and, , make some edits that I wanted to make sure were made before, you know, Joy went in to produce the episode. And I just was like… First of all, it was kinda hard– We were just talking back and forth, and I had no idea how many times I said “like” until I listened to that episode. It was hard to follow, honestly. And then, you know, I, I get that sometimes it can be fun, you like to hear other people’s stories, but, , it’s gotta matter to you, and I just was like, “What’s the purpose in this for anybody else?” , At the end of the day, it felt kinda self-serving to talk for 45 minutes about whatever, whatever I went through. So I thought, let me give you, , the really brief, short, long and short of it, as they say, and kinda give you the rundown, and then get to the point, ’cause there is a point. There’s something that I do wanna say, and I think it’s– I’m still thinking through it, but I think it’s kinda like a magical thought. So, so let’s just say here, let, let us begin here. The last six to eight weeks, I think, I have felt like I was really passing through something. You know, I think my transformation, this particular one that has just been closed, I think this loop opened in 2020. I really do. It’s– In 2020, when I was really– Towards the end of 2020, when I was like, uh, I had been wanting to leave my marriage for, I mean, since the week after we got married, and I was finally like, “I think I’m gonna figure this out.” Like, “I’ve got to figure this out.” And that sort of opened this portal. Now, , as you know, I left, I came back, we tried to work things out. I left again, and I’ve been gone, and I’m, been divorced, and I’ve lived in my apartment now for, you know, almost a couple years. So the, so, uh, you know, you would think, well, that whole chapter is closed, but no. But no. It, I feel like- There had been so much growing and healing over the past couple years, shifting who I am internally, and I think that this kind of finalized, like the final push through the birth canal, when I went to Florida. So you guys have heard me talk about this trip. I’m not gonna go into this trip anymore. But, you know, I went to Florida. I came back, there was a lot of grief ’cause I was like, “I don’t know where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to do.” Then a few weeks later, I went to Vermont. That was a really hard trip for me, and I knew that I had healed so many things because I could see the patterns., I could see in my family of origin how they operated and why I chose the things that I did, and why I lived the way that I lived for so long, and why my marriage, components of it that were obviously not healthy, felt kind of okay to me. And when I was with my family, I was like, “Oh, this is why.” And that was a really hard thing. And again, grief, because I came back and I was like, “Oh my gosh, it’s not what I thought. It’s what I s- just saw.” And I think that in all of that, you know, the way that I communicate with, with all of you through the podcast or through Instagram is very real and comes from a place where I’m very authentic, I think that would be the word to use But I was shaky ground, so I didn’t know how to show up, and so I sort of withdrew. It’s not that I don’t know who I am or I… It was just like something had shifted, and I didn’t quite understand what that was yet. So this is where we are. So here’s the thing that I want to really talk about, which is that I went on the dating apps and because I know so many of you wanna know the deets on that, so let me kind of… I wanna tell you that if you listen to the birthday episode, we talked about how I went on the dating apps, maybe, maybe it was like March or something, and I, I was like, “Ew, no.” I was on them for like 24 hours. I asked for a refund. And so it just– I wasn’t there yet. Then I went through this whole metamorphosis, and I was like, “You know what? I’m, I, I have a really nice life. I feel really good about where I am. I’m really happy. I, I know who I am. I have things to share. It would be fun to have somebody that I could do fun things with, like to share my life and to see what their life was like.” Like that all started to sound fun to me. And so one night, I, I didn’t tell anybody, and I just was like, “I’m gonna do this,” and I did it very intentionally. I went on Hinge. I also went on Bumble because one of my girlfriends was like, “Oh, I loved Bumble.” But Bumble, you have to make the first move. Like that’s the thing is that women make the first move, and I can see how that could be really appealing, but that’s not what I wanted. Like I have spent a lifetime over-capacitating with men. I have spent a lifetime being the one, like to reach out and to do the things and to blah, blah, blah. And I don’t wanna do that anymore. Like I just don’t wanna be that, and I just thought if I start that way, like that’s sort of how it goes. I remember years ago, my former husband said to me, I was doing something in the kitchen, and he said, “It’s about time you start acting like a wife.” And I lost my ever-loving mind because I was like, “If I could have a husband, I wouldn’t have to act like the husband. I could act like the wife. But since I have to be the husband, I, you know, I’m not spending a lot of time in the kitchen.” So- When I’m looking at these apps, I’m like, “How do I want this to go, and what is it that I’m– that I want right now?” And I really wanted somebody to reach out to me. So, so I got on Hinge, and I did my profile pretty thoughtfully, I think. I tried to give information about myself instead of being vague. You know, some people will put like, “Dating me is like going to get coffee. Something that makes me happy is good coffee.” And I, you know, I really wanted to be intentional and put the energy out there that was right. And so, you know, to make that long story short, I, I met several people. I went out for drinks one night with somebody that was really nice. Not my guy, but like super nice. I met really nice people, and I think that sort of surprised me in a way, and might be my age. You know? If I– maybe if I was dating like a 30-year-old or a 40-year-old, which I just… I think I put my limit, like my age limit, and you can do it like so it’s a hard stop at like… Maybe I put even like 51. Like I was not into dating younger people. Uh, I think my age limit up was much higher. I think it was like maybe 69 or something. I went to a bar that’s here by my house at the Four Seasons that I like. So, so I’m gonna get to this. So they said, “Where do you wanna meet?” Okay? I had a lunch date and they said, “Where do you wanna meet?” And then I had a– met for drinks someplace else. “Where should we meet?” I don’t understand… And again, here I am, so I’m like, “Okay, I– you asked me, so I don’t know what you want. Like, I don’t know what your budget is. I don’t know where you wanna bring me. I don’t know what you’re thinking. You’re, you’re the one that invited me.” So I h- I had a brain cramp around that every single guy. And I thought, “You know what? Maybe it’s really hard right now to be a guy and to be like, ‘I, uh, I wanna give her a choice.'” But what would’ve been great, I think, is if somebody had said, “Great,” like, “Eight o’clock Saturday,” or seven… Eight o’clock. Come on, we all know I’m in bed by eight o’clock. Like, 4:30. “4:30 Saturday. Would you like to meet me here or here?” Like, that would’ve been great, you know? I, I just– I didn’t wanna be picking. Um, and then with some people it was like, “What about this? What about that?” “Okay, well, that doesn’t work. What about th-” I just was like, “Can you please make a decision?” So, so I’m just observing, you know? I’m just noticing. But I met really nice people, and I had a nice time. There wasn’t anybody that was, like, a real, , love connection, I think, for those first,, four or five dates. A couple people asked me out on a second date. I found it very interesting the things that people shared with me. I had really good conversations with everybody. , I talked with just about everybody for, , a couple hours, and, uh, and they asked questions of me, too. It wasn’t just me holding the conversation. So that felt good. And it was interesting to me, , what people wanted to share. , I, I think, you know- One person told me what their salary was or how much money they made. They owned their own business. Um, and I thought that was just, , an interesting thing to tell me. It, it was a lot, and I think that was, like, they were basically telling me that’s what they were– had to offer, which I get that. You, you have… Like, there’s no, I, like, I’m totally fine with that. Like, you, you might offer humor, you might offer resources, you might offer, you know what I mean? Look, whatever it is. But that wasn’t as important to me because of where I am in my life, I think. It’s not unimportant. I want somebody that can do the same kinds of things that I can do, but I d- you know, you, how many millions you make a year isn’t as important to me. , But I’m happy you’re successful, and that’s great. So, so that was an interesting thing. , I had somebody ask me if I was a gold digger, which no man with money will ever ask you if you’re a gold digger, by the way. They see it as something they have to offer. So I was just observing, you know? I was just observing. So here’s the thing, and here’s where I kinda landed with this, and this is sort of what the, the message I think that I wanted to share with that, is that in all of that, what I realized was that I didn’t have some end game. You know, if I had been 25 and some guy told me he made $13 million a year, I might’ve been like, “That, I could have a, a totally different life than I had growing up.” , That would be a different life, right? And I, I’m not looking to get married. , I will never get married again. There will never be a universe where I get the government involved in my relationship ever again. Now, I’m not, also not looking to live with somebody. That’s just not where I am. Would I ever live with somebody? Maybe. , I see, like, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, maybe that could be… But again, and, and as I’ve said in many, many other podcasts, if you ever find out that I am dating somebody, that I’m like, “This is, this is the, my guy,” they are a freaking unicorn. And if I ever decide to live with somebody, that’s like a super unicorn, right? That’s like a, this– That man will be, have been therapitized for decades, you know? A feminist, liberal, like, I mean, all the things, right? So, with all that said, I, I’m not thinking that’s what I’m gonna find. What I’m looking for, the end game, is actually right now. The– I’m not looking for a husband. I’m not looking for a role to fill. I’m actually looking, is there joy and fun right now? , That’s the metric. And this might seem, , super obvious, but that wasn’t how I ever operated before. And so- I think that if I had, then I probably would have had a better experience in relationships. I have historically spent a lot of time on potential. Maybe you’re there with me. But there’s no more, like, do the, does he have potential? I don’t care about potential ’cause I’m too old for that. You have to show me what you got right now. And if right now is fun, if right now feels like I’m having a good time, if right now is adding to my life, that’s it. That’s the end game. I’m here. I’ve arrived. It’s al- it’s already here. And it changes, takes the pressure off it in a lot of ways. Now, I learned a lot about myself over the past three weeks because I noticed that there were times where I was over-capacitating, where I thought– Where I was starting, not where I thought, ’cause there was no thinking. But where I noticed I was leaning forward, like I was trying to drive the way things were going. And it took me, , about a week probably of, of talking with one person in particular where I was like, “Oh, I can see that I’m doing that. Where, where is that coming from?” And I did some work on it. , I was like, “What is that?” Because that’s not– I don’t wanna replay stuff. And I know that I’ve healed it because I noticed it, right? I noticed it really pretty quickly, and then I was able to shift. Now, I got really, really lucky because the person that I was talking to was unfazed by that. They just stayed really steady in their lane and didn’t, wasn’t influenced by that, which was a relief, and made me realize that I don’t have to over-capacitate. I can just be, and I can just, m- like, be in the right now, and is the right now good and joyful and happy, and yes. And so that’s all I need to know. So there, I’m already there. Done. So, , that made it so much easier. So that is my update, and that’s a little thought of, , if there was no end game, would you like the way your life was right now? Would you choose it? Would this be something that you would be like, “That’s a match, and I’m gonna stay in that”? Whether it’s your job or your friendships or your romantic relationship or any of that stuff. Is it a match? All right. That is the update for this week. I hope you guys have a great week. I will, I will see you next week. We’ll have a Belize update when I get back next week. So thanks so much for being here. I love you guys so much. I’ll see you then.  Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

In "THE SILENCERS - Decoded!" Dan and Tom break down Dean Martin's swinging 1966 spy spoof, comparing Matt Helm to James Bond. They cover the gadgets, music, villains, and the women of THE SILENCERS, plus fun trivia about Dean Martin, Cyd Charisse, and George Barris' custom Mercury wagon. Listen now on SpyMovieNavigator.com! Like, subscribe, and join us for more spy movie deep dives every week! You can check out all our CRACKING THE CODE OF SPY MOVIES podcast episodes on your favorite podcast app or our website. In addition, you can check out our YouTube channel as well.   Episode Webpage:  https://spymovienavigator.com/episode/the-silencers-decoded

So back in the day you could see vintage entertainers such as Dean Martin, Jackie Mason, Ed Sullivan, Glen Campbell, Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra. Or you could just see John Byner and he would cover them all with spot-on impressions, combined with fine stand-up comedy. When young John offered up his version of Bing Crosby singing "Accentuate the Positive" at age 6 his path in life was clear. As an adult, his early gigs were supported by a day job at a swimming pool company but he soon found fans and became a regular opening act for jazz artists in NY and DC. Along with his nightclub work John was a sought after guest star on sitcom and talk/variety shows, landed a recurring role on Soap, and starred in a popular Canadian tv sketch show. Now 88, John maintains a fun website with highlights from his long career. As always, find extra clips below and thanks for sharing our shows! Want more John Byner? Here's a nice slice of John's stand-up from the Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour back in 1970. https://youtu.be/Ej3pZWwxTfE?si=pPcGXGTkipGK8nJx Byner was a favorite of Ed Sullivan and the feeling was mutual -- watch John imitate the master himself. https://youtu.be/hzE97Bov1kk?si=_uD12rTtzqFhzEkP An unusual project, The Ant and the Aardvark had 17 theatrical short episodes, and featured Byner voicing both characters -- using Dean Martin for the Ant and Jackie Mason for the Aardvark.https://youtu.be/lVXoXlqqxuk?si=4gp349eO7Chck0uE In 2020 John published an autobiography ("Five Minutes Mr. Byner") that covers his career, his favorite impersonation subjects, and how he approaches his craft. https://youtu.be/6CwKq6I-oZI?si=U4n_nuUMF59dBb_I

We break radio silence now as Nick has been deep in Romulan space with shields up and unable to transmit.   Join us this week as Tom Cruise gets thrown into a Russian prison, breaks out before breakfast, sneaks into the Kremlin, climbs the tallest building on Earth with a pair of malfunctioning oven mitts, and somehow that's only about half of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. This is the movie where the franchise stops apologizing for itself and fully embraces Tom's quest to personally terrify the insurance industry. With Elise out this week, it's just Nick and Anthony behind the microphones. They celebrate Simon Pegg graduating from "guy in the van" to full IMF field agent, wonder why Jeremy Renner spent a decade auditioning to inherit every major franchise, and ponder how much more effectively we couldsolve international incidents if only we could sprint faster. The conversation veers through Bruce Springsteen T-shirt trivia, Dean Martin prison break soundtracks, Russian nuclear paranoia, Pixar easter eggs, the increasingly ridiculous Mission: Impossible spy gadgets, and whether the fake hallway projector might secretly be the dumbest brilliant idea ever put on film. Somewhere in there they also discuss Ghost Protocol, arguably the movie that turned Mission: Impossible into Hollywood's gold standard for practical action spectacle. So grab your self-destructing cassette tape, double-check your climbing gloves, and remember: if your mission goes catastrophically wrong, just run faster.  

In this episode, Betsy asks, are you feeling resentful? Are you feeling angry? Are you feeling invisible? She advises that the first place to look, is not him. The first place to look is where you’ve centered him and where you’ve disappeared. In the Navigate Method Betsy says, you can’t make a clear decision about your marriage from a place where you’ve already abandoned yourself. So listen in and learn how you can learn to live big! Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. This week, you’re getting this episode this week. I know on the, on Instagram, if you follow on Instagram, I was going to answer a bunch of questions, and that episode will be next week. Next week I’ll be in Belize for the retreat, and that’s the episode that will drop on Thursday. So look out for that. Joy and I just had… We had issues scheduling. It became like a chasing each other all day, and so I thought, “You know what? I, I have another thought,” something that we talked about in group. So I wanna get to this. Okay. So there’s this moment, I think, when we stop orbiting somebody else. I’m gonna explain what I mean here. But it’s, it’s when you stop, , checking their mood before you make a decision, or when you stop thinking about how they’re gonna perceive you before you get dressed. Does anybody else… Am I the only one that does this? Or if you cook. You know, you’re cooking dinner, and you’re like, “Uh, are they gonna like this?” I know that some of this stuff might sound like courtesy, but I wanna… Just hang with me here, because I wanna, , uh, like sort of separate this out, because I think there is a moment that this awareness happens. If you leave your partner or you’ve made a big change with how you experience your partnership, I think that there is a moment where this orbiting becomes really disorienting, and so disorienting that you’re starting to recognize that there’s, , this piece of you inside here that is… , you’re not even quite sure where she is. You, you have, like, pieces of her, but she is really contorting herself. You know what I think of, like, when I, when I think of this, is like, you know if you have a cat and then you have, like, a weird shaped item? And they get in the weird shaped item, and th- they’re still a cat, but they’re not really, like, cat shaped anymore. I remember when I moved into my apartment a couple years ago, you know, after my divorce, and I’m, I’m here in my place, and I had this awareness that I didn’t check to see what somebody else was doing or wanted to do, or where I needed to be in the house, you know? I, I, I didn’t have to think about whether my dinner was gonna make the house smell like something he wouldn’t like, or I didn’t have to wonder… I didn’t, I just didn’t have to think about anybody else. And even think about, when I put on an outfit, is this something that would be, I’m gonna say like acceptable, but hang with me as I think through this. Not like, it, not like I’m dressing like a, like a hoe, you know? But is this something that men would like? I mean, I think we put it through a filter. You know, we talk about dressing for the male gaze or dressing for the female gaze. And there was this moment where I was in my apartment and I recognized that everything that I was doing was still orbiting other people who weren’t even there. They weren’t even in the house. And honestly, it was weird. Because centering somebody else, even when you don’t like ’em, even when you’re tired from it, but it’s a habit. It is like a groove that you’ve worn into yourself. And I think when you stop, there is a place where that person used to be, and you have to figure out who you are when you’re not constantly thinking about somebody else. So I wanna talk about this, and I wanna talk about it in the frame of something that has come up over and over again in our groups. And it’s really about this centering and how we center other people. It could be anybody. It could be how we center our kids’ school or school activities or everything about our lives. And I wanna talk about why that matters so much inside a partnership. So let me back up just a little bit. I wanna name, , what I mean by, , centering. So to me, centering someone m- else means that their perspective, you know, their, their needs, maybe their mood or their comfort, becomes sort of this, like, organizing principle of your day. So it becomes the thing that you are making little, little and big decisions around. And I don’t think it’s conscious necessarily. I think it’s usually really automatic. , You wake up, and you’re already scanning maybe for his mood or for who needs what or for what you need to do to make the day m- run smoothly for everybody else, and you’re calculating. Like, is it a good time to say something? You know, you’re running through what you’re gonna make for dinner and whether he’ll like it, and you’re dressing for somebody else or for what you think everybody else would like or what’s popular or trending or whatever. And you’re realizing that you are making yourself smaller so that everybody else can stay the same size or even grow or expand or become who they are meant to be. And I think we’re taught that this is love. I think that we were taught that centering the people we love is what good women do I think my mother did it. You know, my mother centered the kids for sure. She centered me and my sister. She centered my dad, for sure. , My grandmother did it. I, I think we just see it everywhere. , This idea that a, a woman, I’m gonna say a man, shapes herself around a man, but we really can shape ourselves around just about anything, you know? It’s, it’s really the version of us that makes it our job to keep the peace and to adjust. And I think we call it, , being a good partner or sacrifice or I’m devoted to this thing. You know, we, we call it marriage. But, but I think it’s an element of self-abandonment. And I wanna say, you might be like, “I don’t mind doing that all the time.” Maybe sometimes, but then is it conscious? And if it’s unconscious, is it truly a choice or is it you disappearing? And I think it gets a little bit tricky because self-abandonment doesn’t feel like a bad thing when you’re doing it. , It feels safe. It feels like you’re doing a good job, you know? It feels like you’re managing things or managing a situation or, or, or keeping it all together, you know? I remember that commercial, and I know I’ve mentioned it here before, but even as a kid, I was like, “This seems fucked up.” But it was like the, um, I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, ever let you forget you’re a man. I’m like, look, you get, like, maybe two of those things out of three. Like, likely not. Pick one. I don’t know. But I think that there happens, , in, in our lives when we feel like what we’re doing is really being great, and marketing has taught us that, , our lives have taught us that. And then I think one day you realize that the reason you feel lonely in this partnership isn’t because you’re alone, but it’s because you lost yourself somewhere along the way, and maybe you realize that you’ve been gone for so long that you don’t actually know how to come back. So something that comes up in our groups over and over, and a couple weeks ago we were all talking, and I had this, , moment, you know? , And when I say groups, inside the Navigate method, this is my program that helps women make the big decision on whether to stay or leave your, their marriage. You can find out more about that on our website, or you can book a call to talk to us at betsypake.com. Okay. So- We were talking about it, and I had this thought. Now, this might be a thought y- that you’re gonna be like, “This is an obvious thought,” but the way it hit me was a little different. And I was like, men aren’t taught to de-center themselves. They are actually taught the opposite. They’re taught what we’re taught, which is to center them. They’re taught that their perspective is the one that matters, that their needs are the most important, and that the world kind of revolves around them at, at least a, a little bit, you know? And I’m not saying all men are like this. I’m not, I’m not saying anything is absolute. Humans are individuals, right? But I think this is a pattern, and I think when we’re socialized, and I think when we’re in the patriarchal system that we have all grown up with here, , I think it comes up, like constantly. And so you have a situation where she has disappeared, and he is centered. So she’s checking his mood. He’s not checking hers. And she’s thinking about her, how her actions affect him, and he is really not thinking about how his actions affect her Or if he is, it, it doesn’t come off in the same way, right? , She’s making sure he’s okay, and he doesn’t think to ask. And then she tries to communicate. She tries to say, “Hey, you know, this thing happened that hurt me. , This thing doesn’t feel good.” And he genuinely can’t see it from her perspective. It’s not because he’s a jerk. It’s not because he’s a terrible person. It’s because he is so centered in his own experience., His experience is the experience. His way of seeing things is the way. And so she’s trying to explain something from, , the outside looking in, and he’s looking from the inside looking out, and those are, like, two totally different vantage points, where you just don’t see the same horizon, you know? And I think that’s when resentment gets built. It’s not necessarily from what he did or from the fact that he can’t see what he did or from the fact that she has to explain it or, or, even that when she does explain it, he might not understand, because he’s not built to think that way. You know, she’s exhausted, because now she’s also managing herself. She’s also trying to translate her experience into some sort of version of language that he can understand. We talk about this all the time in group, like, what’s his reality? How can we get to the other vantage point so that you can explain and articulate yourself in a way that feels good, ? That, honors where you are, but also he could, if he was reaching for it, could find you in that. And it’s really about, it’s n- uh, w- when we were talking in group, I was like, “You know, I, I don’t even know that it is about… It’s about communication, but it’s also about trying to get him to de-center for just long enough to see her- And most of the time, I, I don’t think men can do it, and it’s not because they don’t love us, it’s, it’s because they weren’t ever taught to or socialized to. You know how… I remember when my son was little and we had this, , toy that was like a babbler. It would talk in, , different languages so that those patterns were formed in his head so if he wanted to, to learn another language later on, those neural pathways had been created, you know? Neural pathways get pruned, so it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. But that was the idea of it, right? And so it was the idea of if I could teach another way of seeing things, then seeing things another way could become easier Okay, so when I moved into my apartment, I’m there in my apartment. I have, uh, I have been, like, free of this dynamic where I have to center somebody else for the first time, , in decades. In decades, right? ‘Cause I feel like I’ve lived with somebody or had a partner or whatever forever, or had a kid. You know what I mean? There’s always somebody. And so here I am, my kid’s an adult, lives on his own. I’m here in my apartment. I’m all moved in. My stuff is here. I have no pet. At that point, Dean Martin was not, had not moved in. And Dean Martin’s the cat, for anybody new. So Dean Martin had not moved in, and so now here I am, and I am free from that dynamic for the first time in so long. And you would think that that would feel amazing, and I think it does, like, in moments. But mostly, it started to feel like I don’t know who I am. And I do this work, but being alone shifted something, because I spent a long, long time centering somebody else, so long that I don’t actually know how to make a decision that’s just for me without even, thinking about them. Do you know what I mean? I wanted to not even be thinking about them. And it, it took me a minute to realize, oh my God, why am I thinking about that? Like, why am I doing that same thing? And then I realized, I started thinking about, well, like, what about my son? I wonder what he’s doing for dinner. What is he w- like, j- same thing, but just with a different person. I think I started doing it a little bit with my friends. I started just, , checking with people. , Before I know what I wanna do, I wanna see what everybody else is doing. And then I realized, like, this isn’t even about my former partner. It’s about me. It is about a pattern that is so deep in my bones that I am just gonna keep doing it until I consciously, repeatedly choose something different. And so I had to start really asking myself a question. So instead of, like, what does everybody else need or what does everybody else want, I started asking, and I, I started asking this deliberately, even if I didn’t notice. Like when I put my outfit on, sometimes I would put it on, and then I’d be like, “Eh, I don’t know that… Like, people are gonna think this looks dumb.” Again, centering other people, right? So I would ask, like, “Is this the choice that’s best for me? Like, is this something that makes me happy? Do I feel good about this?” And I know that sounds really simple, but when you’ve spent, , your whole life… And women, we are- We are, I wanna say created. We’re not created to do that, but we are taught from, m- you know, taught from a very young age to do that. So when you’ve spent your whole life centering other people, asking yourself that question feels crazy. It feels really crazy. And I started doing it with like small things, but I wanted to make it like a repetition. So like what do I want? I remember in my partnership if I made like eggs, my partner didn’t like that because he didn’t like how the egg smelled, and so there would be a lot of thoughts about that that were shared with me. And so I would think like, “I’m gonna make eggs. Is anybody coming over?” Nobody, nobody was coming over. Like I had nobody to come over. But I, that’s what I would think. Instead of , “What do I feel like? Do I feel like eggs?” Or you know, whatever, whatever kind of eggs I wanted. Like is that what I want? Instead of , “Does this outfit feel good? Do I feel happy in this?” I would think “Oh, this makes me look like I have no waist.” Who cares? Like who cares? And so I started noticing all the ways that I was centering people, and the ways that I was still performing a version of myself in certain situations. And I think it’s interesting because we think, and I often, and I’ve even said it on this podcast like years ago, like if there was just no people, I would be great. But then I lived alone and there was no people, and it wasn’t great. It was, it was interesting. It was the way I was still afraid to say no. The way I was still checking with some outside source before I made a decision so I wouldn’t rock the boat. It was weird. Eight months. Eight months is how long it took me before I noticed that I wasn’t doing that, and it was like a moment where I was like, “Oh my God, I just made that choice and didn’t think anything of it.” Eight months before I could make a decision just because it was good for me without feeling something about it. And, some days I still catch myself doing it. I talked with a girlfriend recently, and I said about how I was getting ready to go on a date. I know we’re gonna talk about that next week on the podcast. I was getting ready to go on a date, and I put on an outfit, and then I thought, “This is not an…” I, I… It was twofold things that I thought. “This is not an outfit you wear on a date, and this makes me look gigantic,” because it was all, like, big, roomy, th- flowy dress, or whatever the heck it was. I don’t even remember. And I got mad at myself because I was doing this scanning thing, and I was like, “God, I haven’t even been dating b-,” you know what I mean? “But a couple days and I’m already back to centering other people?” And I talked to a friend of mine, my friend Heather, and my friend Heather said, “It’s okay to center them sometimes. , That can be a choice. It’s okay to dress for the male gaze sometime. It’s okay to dress for the female gaze sometime. It’s… Like, that might feel good to you.” And it was a w- odd permission that I think I needed. Being in this space of like, “Oh, hell no” for so long w- you know, in my own process, it, it was interesting to me because I feel like when I show up in, in coaching and group, I’m so open, like, what feels g- like, there is validity on both sides, but when it came to myself, it was interesting, you know? So it’s okay sometimes, but we want to be conscious of it, right? So let me kinda map out… Let me do it this way. So I wanna map out sort of what, l- like, when you’ve been centering somebody else for years and years and years. Here’s what I think. Here’s, , the, , dynamic I think. I think first you sort of disappear. You know? I think it… Well, I think it kind of happens. You disappear, right? A little less of your opinion here, a little less of your preference here, you know? You get smaller. You take up less space, you know? You make decisions based on what’s keeping the peace instead of what’s true for you. And then I think, in that disappearance, something happens. I think, without realizing it, you start to resent the person that you’re centering, and it’s not because of who they are. It really isn’t, and this is why I always say this in my videos. , It’s because you’ve abandoned yourself to stay with them But perhaps it could have been okay even if you’d stayed with yourself. So you resent that they don’t notice when you’ve gone quiet. You resent that they don’t ask why you’re not yourself anymore, or you resent that they, that they are able to just live their life centered in themselves while you’re over here like a cat trying to, , fit into a weird shaped vase, right? And so then I think you start to collect evidence. , He did that, he did this, he didn’t notice this, you know, he didn’t… or she didn’t ask about that. And every piece of evidence that you gather kinda gets added to this, , big pile because , I think the real issue here, or the real problem, we’ll use the word problem, isn’t what he did. The real problem is that you made yourself so small that you have become invisible, but then you’re angry at him for not seeing you. But he can’t see you, ’cause you disappeared on him. He’s not looking for you, because as far as he knows, you’re right there just adjusting and adapting like he is the center, ’cause that’s what that’s what he believes, right? So now you’re resentful, you’re trying to communicate why you’re resentful, and you’re trying to get him to see that the problem is not that he did one specific thing. The problem is this, , huge whole dynamic. And the problem is that you don’t exist in this relationship anymore. That’s the actual problem, is that you’ve centered him for so long that there just doesn’t seem to be any room for you. And because he’s looking at you and thinking, “What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything.” Because he’s centered himself because that’s what he was taught. He can’t see the centering in this dynamic because it’s b- he– because he’s benefiting from it. So now you’re both stuck, right? Like, you’re invisible and angry, he’s confused and defensive, and now the actual thing that’s broken, it’s the centering. It’s the disappearing. And so I think what happens is we try to fix this by having better conversations, or to explain, like, more and more and more clearly, right? Or trying to get him to understand. And you cannot fix a centering problem by centering them more. I know that sounds so, like… You can’t fix a disappearing problem by disappearing even more. So what does it look like to actually de-center? So it looks like asking yourself, what do you actually want? And then honoring that. I know it sounds so simple, but that’s it. It looks like you say no when you wanna say no, even if people get disappointed or grumpy. To be okay with the grumpy can be really hard. But it looks like you making a decision based on what’s right for you, not based on just what’s right for everybody else. It looks like, you know, letting other people be a little uncomfortable. Like, being okay with that. It looks like being willing to wa- rock the boat. You know, at Thanksgiving time, I think every year, the past, , two or three years, I post this video that I did, like, three years ago about Thanksgiving, and I was going to get pie. And I was hovering over the pies, and everybody wanted pumpkin pie or apple pie. And I want cherry pie. And I was like, everybody’s g- like, I’m not gonna buy a cherry pie for me. , I actually thought that. I’m not gonna just buy a cherry pie for… It’s the holiday. It’s my holiday, too. Like, I don’t have to lose myself just to accommodate other people. And so I think that, you know… So I bought the cherry pie, but I, I was like, even if I eat one piece and throw it out, , I’m okay with that. It’s Thanksgiving. And I think the thing is, is that when you’re doing it You know, uh, I don’t think it feels, when you’re, like, doing it, when I say it, when you’re de-centering, I don’t think it feels selfish to anybody else. I think it feels selfish to you because you were taught your whole life that taking care of yourself is selfish and that centering other people is what love looks like. But de-centering isn’t selfish. It’s just you coming back to yourself. And I think when we start de-centering, especially in a partnership, I think things shift. I think it shifts marriages in good ways. I think it shifts, , partnerships. I think it sh- can shift relationships at work. I think sometimes it shifts in a way that doesn’t work anymore But either way, it shifts. Because now they’re with the real version of you, and you don’t wanna be in a relationship with somebody who’s not you. Now he’s with a woman, or she’s with a woman, who has opinions and preferences and needs, and now he’s not with someone who’s disappearing. And I think for some men, that can be really great. I think they actually like the real version of you better. They actually wanna be with someone who’s not making themselves small. And for some men, you know, the centering was the whole deal, like having a woman who disappears so he can stay centered is really important to him, and that’s what he signed up for. But when you de-center, then that whole dynamic doesn’t work anymore, and that is a lot of really important information that you won’t have otherwise. So I wanna say this, and I wanna be, like, honest about how I see this. And again, you know, this is my podcast, so I say what I think. You’re… You can ex- you can climb on board and like, “That makes a lot of sense to me,” but you don’t have to. There can be parts of this that feel true to you and parts that don’t. But I think that de-centering is not a quick fix. I don’t think it’s something that you decide one day and you’re done. And the reason I say that is because I lived in an apartment by myself, and it took me eight months. Eight months before I could automatically shift to not centering. Eight months of asking myself over and over again, “What do I want? What’s true for me? Is this the best choice for me?” And that’s just the basics. That’s just getting to the place where you’re not constantly thinking about what somebody else needs. Uh, like we’ve been learning… I mean, I was learning that for 53 years. And I think the deeper work, the work of actually building a life around yourself instead of around someone else, I think that takes even longer. But here’s what I know. Every single time that you choose yourself, every single time you say no, every single time you make a decision based on what’s true for you, you’re de-centering. And it gets easier, and it gets more familiar, and it starts to feel less like you’re being selfish and more like you’re actually being alive. So- If you’re thinking like, “Oh, I think if I de-centered, he wouldn’t like that.” , I’m not here to tell you to leave your marriage. , I’m not here to tell you that your husband is a problem, and I’m not here to tell you what to do. But I am here to tell you this: if you’re resentful, if you’re angry, if you feel invisible, the first place to look is not him. The first place to look is where you’ve centered him and where you’ve disappeared. Because you can’t make a clear decision about your marriage from a place where you’ve already abandoned yourself. You can’t think straight when you’re invisible. You can’t hear your own wisdom, your own internal guidance when you’re so busy, , listening to everybody else. So ask yourself, what is it that you really want? Not what your kids need, what… not what your husband needs, not what your friends think you should do, but what do you really want? I remember I went with my son. He messaged me and said, “Do you wanna go get ice cream?” And I really didn’t want to, and I thought about saying no, and I decided to go anyway because he wanted to, and that made me happy. But knowing that I didn’t want to and that I was making a choice to that was conscious changed everything. So when you know what you want, when you’re grounded in that, and then you can make a real decision, you’ll know whether you’re going to get ice cream or staying in your marriage because it is true for you, or it’s because you’ve disappeared and you didn’t feel like there was another option. Come back to yourself. All the other stuff becomes easier after. And I think that is how you live a big life. All right, everyone, next week I’m gonna be in Belize at the retreat. I hope you come to the next retreat. We’ll have details on that soon. It’ll be sometime next year, and we will be thinking of you, especially if you reached out and said, “I’m thinking of going,” just know that I’m thinking of you and wish you were there. But next week we’ll have a really great show with Joy and I talking about some things that have been happening with me that pushed me through a portal, a threshold, in my own experience over the past six weeks. All right, I love you guys so much. I’ll see you all next time. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

Liebe Passagiere, bitte legen Sie die Sicherheitsgurte an, stellen Sie das Rauchen ein und holen Sie die Gitarren raus – wir erwarten Turbulenzen! Die beginnen und bleiben für den überwiegenden Teil der epochalen 140 Minuten von Airport (1970) auf dem Boden der Tatschen, denn das vollbesetzte Passagierflugzeug mit einem verzweifelten Bombenbauer (Van Heflin) hebt aufgrund heftigen Schneefalls und menschlicher Tragödien erst eine Stunde vor Schluss ab. Bis dahin haben die altgedienten Hollywoodrecken Burt Lancaster und Dean Martin ausreichend Zeit, ihre Ehen zu ruinieren und Affären mit den sexy Euro-Sternchen Jean Seberg und Jacqueline Bisset zu pflegen. Mein geschätzter Gast Franz Köhne kann der Hochglanz-Seifenoper dabei etwas mehr abgewinnen als ich, der viel zu lange Zeit dem actionreichen Finale dieses Mega-Blockbusters entgegenfiebern muss. Zum Glück kommt das sehr günstige, sehr chaotische und teils sehr alberne Sequel Airport 1975 – Giganten am Himmel (1974) viel schneller zur Sache, auch wenn die Qualität etwas auf der Strecke bzw. der Landebahn bleibt. Aber hey, es gibt eine singende Nonne!

Today On The Eric Metaxas Show, Eric broadcasts from Las Vegas at Freedom Fest, where he is receiving the Leonard Read Award for his book Revolution. He talks with Victor Marx about winning the Republican nomination for governor of Colorado, disrupting the political establishment, his extraordinary life story, and why Colorado can still be saved. Then Eric and Chris Himes share incredible stories from their dinner with legendary impressionist Rich Little, including stories involving Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Ronald Reagan, Truman Capote, Paul Lynde, and Julie Andrews. Eric also discusses what he sees as an effort to suppress his bestselling book Revolution.⭐ ORDER NOW:Revolution: The Birth of the Greatest Nation in the History of the World

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Junk Food Dinner is back... for the 700th time! That's right, this month JFD celebrates it's milestone 700th episode! And what better way to commemorate 700 episodes than with three movies from the 1970's? Alright, two movies from the 70's and one move from the early 80's but feels decidedly 70's. Up first, Francis Ford Coppola directs Gene Hackman as a surveillance specialist who gets caught up in the intrigue of the couple he's spying on in 1974's The Conversation, with appearances from Harrison Ford, Frederic Forrest, Cindy Williams and Teri Garr.Next, a decorated WWII solider comes home to his struggling family farm, but soon gets entangled in a revenge plot at the behest of a wealthy gambler in The Farmer from 1977. And finally, a colorful cast of celebrities, including Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Adrienne Barbeau and Jackie Chan (among many others) compete in a cross-country road race where wacky hijinks ensue in Hal Needham's Cannonball Run from 1981.All this plus Sean gets smoked out, news about The Devils returning to theaters uncut this year, R.I.P Damon Zex, tips for buying weed at Subway, a new What We Do in the Shadows movie in the works, A24 goes A.I. and so much more!LISTEN NOW!MP3 Direct DonloydAlso, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! We'd love to see some of your love on Patreon - it's super easy and fun to sign up for the extra bonus content. We'll keep this podcast going with your love and support.

The podcast rulebook says you have to cover a plane movie for episode #747, so I went with the daddy of the '70s disaster craze. The planes are 707s in Airport, but oh well. George Seaton writes & directs a cast of stars & Oscar-winners (including Burt Lancaster, Dean Martin, Jean Seberg, George Kennedy and Jacqueline Bissett). He was rewarded with a blockbuster hit that snagged 10 Oscar nominations (Helen Hayes even won for her adequate supporting performance) and it started a run of Airport flicks. Those 3 sequels and the various disaster films this influenced followed the formula of intertwining stories, romance, some humour and a lot of peril (in this case, there's a Heflin bomb onboard). This is one of the better ones. It's entertaining and has a thrilling climax. So spend some time hearing about Airport. Subscribe to my channel in your podcast app. Rate my show and review it too. Follow me on Twitter, Bluesky and Letterboxd (@moviefiend51, ryan-ellis and RyanHYES, respectively). As for email, that's "haveyoueverseenpodcast@gmail.com."

Comedy legend Tom Dreesen passed away today at the age of 86. He was one of the all time stand up comedy greats and one of the nicest guys in show business. In honor of his passing we are replaying his appearance on our show in 2020.In this Dark Mark Show classic from 2020 Legendary comedian Tom Dreesen joined Mark and Hannah as he talked about his extraordinary life and 51 year comedy career.Tom grew up poor on the southside of Chicago and became part of the first (and last) interracial comedy team Tim and Tom with Tim Reid of WKRP and Sister Sister fame. He talks about then going solo, meeting and befriending David Letterman, going on The Tonight Show for the first time, performing comedy on American Bandstand and Soul Train, how Sammy Davis Jr. made his Las Vegas debut a smash, how being in the right place at the right time got him is longtime spot opening for Frank Sinatra, how special a performer and generous a person Frank was, what it was like to guest host for David Letterman for a night and stories about other famous friends like Joe Pesci, Smokey Robinson, Clint Eastwood, Kevin Costner, Dean Martin, as well as great learning lessons in life and comedy.Get Tom Dreesen's bookStill Standing...My Journey From The Streets and Saloons to the Stages and SInatra at Amazon, Barnes and Noble or your local bookstoreGet some Dark Mark Show gear Go to www.teepublic.com/user/dms1 for shirts, mugs, phone/laptop covers, masks and more!This show is sponsored by:Eddie by GiddyFDA Class II medical device built to treat erectile dysfunction and performance unpredictability. Eddie is specifically engineered to promote firmer and longer-lasting erections by working with the body's physiology.Get rock hard erections the natural way again.Using promo code DARKMARK20, you can save 20% on your Eddie purchase, and you and your partner will be chanting incantations of ecstasy together faster than you can say “REDRUM.”Go to buyeddie.com/DarkMark for 20% off your purchase using code DARKMARK20 today.Raze Energy DrinksGo to https://bit.ly/2VMoqkk and put in the coupon code DMS for 15% off the best energy drinks. Zero calories. Zero carbs. Zero crashRenagade CBDGo to renagadecbd.com for all of your CBD needsTactical SoapSmell Great with Pheromone infused products and drive women wild with desire!

Summer Camp(y) is officially in session — and this time, the gear list is all spy movies. Hosts Dan and Tom from Cracking the Code of Spy Movies break down six of the best campy spy movies worth watching in 2026. Not every spy movie plays it straight. Some lean into the silliness with reckless abandon.  And when done right, the results are pure gold. The episode covers classics and modern hits alike. From the 1966 Dean Martin romp The Silencers to the razor-sharp Kingsman: The Secret Service, there's something here for every fan. We break down why they are campy and how their campiness differs. Whether you're a lifelong spy movie lover or just discovering the genre, this list has you covered. Here are the first three we cover.  You'll have to listen to get the whole list. ·       Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery set the gold standard for spy parody and still holds up today. It should not be a shock to see this one on the list. ·       The Silencers lets Dean Martin be Dean Martin — smooth, funny, and effortlessly cool. ·       Kingsman: The Secret Service adds real class-warfare depth to its wild, campy action. The episode also includes two honorable mentions.  The first one has an interesting reason it didn't make the list. So, tune in, grab your popcorn, and enjoy Summer Camp 2026. Tell us what you think of our list of the Summer Camp(y) spy movies? Have you seen all of these campy spy movies?  We know we didn't get them all, so let us know which campy spy movies you like.  Maybe they'll make the list for Summer Camp(y) 2027. Let us know your thoughts, ideas for future episodes, and what you think of this episode. Just drop us a note at info@spymovienavigator.com.  The more we hear from you, the better the show will surely be!  We'll give you a shout-out in a future episode!   You can check out all our CRACKING THE CODE OF SPY MOVIES podcast episodes on your favorite podcast app or our website. In addition, you can check out our YouTube channel as well.   Episode Webpage:  https://spymovienavigator.com/episode/summer-campy-for-spy-movies-the-6-best-to-watch-2026 Decoding Episodes mentioned in this episode: ·       https://spymovienavigator.com/episode/our-man-flint-decoded/ ·       https://spymovienavigator.com/episode/spy-the-movie/ ·       https://spymovienavigator.com/episode/rick-english-kingsman-stunts/ ·       https://spymovienavigator.com/episode/79-influences-on-kingsman-the-secret-service/

No one really knows what the "deal" is. Scott Jennings: Dems never have anything positive to say. What exactly is this "deal"? John Stamos got good but interesting advice from Dean Martin. Say no to DiegoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

No one really knows what the "deal" is. Scott Jennings: Dems never have anything positive to say. What exactly is this "deal"? John Stamos got good but interesting advice from Dean Martin. Say no to Diego JMV talks Knicks and Hurricanes' championship victories. Today’s Popcorn Moment: Indiana FOP no confidence vote against Ryan Mears. Today on the Marketplace: Livvy Dunne trading card. Difference between Obama's JCPOA and Trump's deal Hoosiers should reject Flock cameras and the surveillance state. The Bears story illustrates how bad Illinois is. Fox to buy Roku? TV Theme Song: Redemption Monday - Original Magnum PI ThemeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we are looking at the ideologies that kill in our society and the antidote to them.    Including anti-racism; Queer and Trans; Anti-Semitism; Autonomy - euthanasia and abortion; Statism, Facism and Communism; Islam; The Green ideology; Christian Heresies;  and the solutions given by Christ, the Gospel and the Church, Schaeffer on No Little People' and the Final Word - Colossians 2;8 with music from Coldplay, Gary Moore; Paul Macartney and Stevie Wonder; U2;  Leonard Cohen; Dean Martin and Helen O'Connell;  Bob Marley; Geoff Bullock; 

Don’t you just love a quote that sticks and you can replay it for yourself over and over? Well this episode of The Art of Living Big is chock full of them, but here is one that stands out… You’re not gonna forget and you don’t need anger to keep you safe. You already have the thing that keeps you safe, and it’s you. It’s the you who maybe you haven’t been listening to, even when you were talking right over her. So you already know. You’ve always known. Now the work is just how do I trust her? Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I have a couple quick updates, and then I wanna get into what I’m gonna get into. But I’ve had several people that have reached out to me and asked me about my trip to Florida and, like, what the decision was. And I gotta tell you, I’m in a really weird space with it, and I’m just allowing myself to be here. If you’re new here, thank you for indulging me while I while I give you a personal update. But if you’ve been here for a little while, you’ll remember that I went down to Florida to check it out. We talked about that, I think, on my birthday episode. And, uh, you know, I’ve wanted to move to the beach my whole life, and I have always thought it was gonna be California. And then, , for a lot of logistical reasons, I thought it’s worth checking out Florida, and there were some things I really liked about it A- a- and my thought was, you know, as I’m recording this, it’s early June, like June 1st or 2nd, and my thought was … My lease isn’t up at my place until mid-February, so I could move beginning of February or January, whatever, or I could break my lease and move in August. And the reason I thought August was because I had some time. I have a retreat in July, and then there’s a lot of things going on in the fall, and so I thought, “I have some time.” Well, then I start … And so then I went down, and a- again, the beach is lovely. I don’t know. The trip was quite rushed, if you remember me talking about it, and, and lovely. Like I, I h- I had a good time, but I don’t know that any place made my body go, “This is it.” I think I felt most alive in the, , marina area of St. Pete, but there wasn’t anything that made me, like, really jump for joy. Now, does that mean there isn’t anywhere? No. It just means there isn’t anywhere that I necessarily went that made me feel super alive. So that’s information, and n- you know, I always say my body is an oracle and I do what my body says, even if I don’t have the words for it, even if it doesn’t make sense. And so I really just decided I don’t have to decide and move in August. Like, I was breaking my lease. I just don’t have to do that, so really I have until mid-February before I have to do anything. And honestly, it’s my life, and I can go month to month in my apartment if I want. Do you know what I mean? Like, there’s nothing te- like, this is the beauty and also the drama of it, is that there’s nothing making me do anything. And so I decided that I was just gonna ask the universe to make it apparent, to just show me how can this be easy, how can this be in flow, and just see what happens. , When I started thinking about moving in August, I immediately started thinking, “Okay. Well then, – in November I’m gonna have to come back for Thanksgiving, and in December I’m gonna have to come back for Christmas because my son is here. And, , for whatever reasons, it’s easier for me to travel than for him. And so then I had these ideas of, okay, so this is the, I guess, confusion of, or the next challenge I guess you could say, because as soon as I go down there I’m gonna hardly be settled and I’m gonna have to turn around and come back. And then where do I stay? What do I do with Dean Martin? Do I bring him? Do I… I wanna be with him on the holidays, do you know what I mean? I don’t wanna bring him to a kitty hotel. I have a kitty hotel here that I love. Do I bring hi- Like, it started feeling really heavy, and I was like, “Okay, there’s nothing making me do anything.” Also, I’m going to London, and I’m gonna be posting a coffee get-together when w- I’m in London. I’m gonna be posting that in the next couple weeks. You’ll see that on the website, and I’ll tell you here on the podcast and on Instagram. But I’m gonna be going to London, and so then I was… I thought I was gonna be moving so much. I was so certain that I bought a plane ticket to London from Tampa. I’d already bought the plane ticket. But then I’m like, “I’m not… I don’t think I’m going before that.” So I refunded my ticket and changed it, or changed it to just to Atlanta. And that’s fine. Whatever. Th- everything is figureoutable. But there’s nothing that’s saying to me like, “Oh, my God. This is it. This is it.” And if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a I don’t think, I don’t think it’s a yes at all. So does it mean I’m not going to St. Pete? No. It just means it’s not a hell yes yet, and there’s more to do. I’m gonna throw a, an insane twist into this. I said to my sister the other day, about a week ago, I said, ” sometimes I wanna live in Key West.” I really love Key West. “Sometimes I wanna live in Key West, and sometimes I wanna live in New York City.” And I think the combination of those two things is California, which again, I keep going back. And I’ve had several people… I was gonna go visit last week, and whatever, plans got changed around. But , I keep thinking if I go there to look, it’s gonna, that’s what it’s gonna be, and, it’s so complicated. It’s complicated to move that far away for a lot of reasons for me. Could I do it? Yeah, anything. I can do anything I want. And it feels heavy It, does it feel heavy? I wanna make sure I’m saying that right. I wanna make sure I’m being honest with myself. It feels exciting. It feels exciting, and it also feels expensive, and not expensive to live there. That’s not what I mean. . Moving there feels expensive. Do you know what I mean? Like, to actually move that far away, , there’s a million layers to that. I have done a lot of research. Even just moving your car. Do you know what I mean? Like, how long does it take? Gas price is so heavy, and then all of a sudden you gotta stay at a hotel room all the way acro- like, so then is it easier… It’s cheaper for me to buy a flight with my cat and have my car transported. So, I mean, I’ve done this work. But then also, with my business, you know? H- what does that look like? So all this to say, I could go down a million rabbit holes. All this to say, the update is that there’s no update. But the update is that I’m asking the universe to make it apparent. I’m asking the universe to show me the way, and I’m putting it aside. I’m not worrying about it at all. It is a fun adventure that will come my way. And when I think about how I want New York City or Key West, then I think maybe going to, to New York City is a worthwhile adventure to see how my body feels. And so I’m gonna do that. This weekend I’m going to Vermont for a long weekend, and then in the next few weeks or m- within the next month, I’m gonna go to New York City and see how I feel. And that will be the agenda, just to see what my body says. So that is the update that you didn’t really ask for. Thanks for letting me share. Okay. So I have gotten a lot of messages lately, and I keep, I keep thinking about them. Lots of times it’s really hard for me to, , reply in a message. Well, like somebody will ask me such a layered, complicated question, , and although I want to, like, swoop in and tell them all my thoughts, it would be way too much to type, and it’s not, an appropriate thing to do if I’m not their coach. D- do you know what I mean? And so there are some messages that I get that I think about a lot, and I wonder maybe that is something that could be a universal that helps more people, and we could talk about it on the podcast. So I wanna tell you about this kind of thing that people have been writing. And, I’m not gonna tell it to you word for word ’cause- It doesn’t matter, but I’m gonna give it kinda close, because there’s been probably four or five messages like this, but one this morning that I read and I said, “Okay, I’m gonna do, or I’m gonna do a podcast on this.” And the woman wrote and she said, basically, like, “I’ve been divorced a few times now.” Very chic, okay? I’m adding that part, the very chic. She’s been divorced a few times, and basically now she didn’t know how to tell if somebody is worth her time, like, how to trust her own read on it. And I feel like I’ve gotten a version of this kind of question more than once in the last little bit, and I think it stuck with me. This morning I read it while I was on my walk, and, uh, , and so here’s what I wanna talk about today. I know for sure That I will never make the same mistakes again in relationships that I have made in the past. I know it the way that you know your own phone number. And for a really long time, I thought I knew it because I was still angry. So let me explain what I mean. So, , I think that when we decide to leave a relationship that not only doesn’t serve us, but perhaps was damaging to us, it can be really hard to see or understand the depths of that damage when we’re in it. I believe our brain mutes a lot of it out, because to fully understand it and to see it plainly would overwhelm our nervous systems. And so when I left my relationship, I’m not gonna say which one, I’ll leave that vague- vague. But when I left my relationship, it was in the months that followed that I began to get so clear on how bad it actually was. And so I spent a lot of time rehashing or framing new decisions I was making or new situations that I was encountering around the old. So I would, you know, I’d lay there, and go back over a conversation, like what I should have said, or, “Oh my God, I can’t believe that happened. Why didn’t I do this thing?” Right? And I’d run that loop over and over again. Or if I made something in the kitchen and, uh, you know, there was always a joke that I couldn’t cook, which we’ll do a whole episode on that. Um, I ha- I, I started recording a vlog for YouTube, and I’m gonna do it on that, ’cause, ’cause I am changing so many things, and it’s been really fun. So, but if I would make something and it wouldn’t be that good, or I would burn something, I would loop back in my brain around all the times that I was…, that we joked that I was a terrible cook and, you know, that I should be in the kitchen more, and that’s my place, and that’s my office is the kitchen. Like, I would, I would go over these things, and so I would frame new experiences around old things. And so if you had asked me, “Why are you doing that?” I don’t think I could have told you, but it just felt like I couldn’t put it down. I would be in the, in the bathroom, and I would be in the shower, and I would think about how I never used to get h- hot showers ’cause the shower would run so long for the previous person. Like, a million things. It’s like I couldn’t have a original experience without framing it against what had happened. But what I see now was that I was, like, keeping the file open. I was keeping all of it right there in front of me so that I wouldn’t forget. Because if I forgot, if I let myself soften, if I got fuzzy in the way of memories, then I thought I might miss it next time. Because I was fuzzy when I was in it, right? So I might not see a sign coming. I might not catch a red flag. I might make the same mistakes again. And so my anger constantly being reframed around every freaking thing I did was doing a job. It was, it was acting like a bodyguard that I hired to stand there at my new front door and make sure that I never got fooled like that again. Now, I don’t think that the anger was wrong. I think it was an important part of my process. I do think it was protecting me, and it was the best tool that I had at the time. But here’s what changed. What I came to see was that I don’t actually need a bodyguard. Not because some fool couldn’t come walking through the door again The door always needs watching, but because something shifted in me where I recognized that I can watch the door myself, I can trust me, I can listen to myself, and I can, I can lean on me, I can rely on me. And when that went all the way down, when I really felt that, the anger, it,, it just didn’t even have a job anymore. You know, I did an episode called When a Relationship Deflates. I think that’s really around the time that I noticed, or when I wrote that episode, or when I had the thought for it. It was around the time that I noticed that I wasn’t framing anything around them anymore. It wasn’t my anger that was keeping me safe. Now it was my growth. It’s my growth that keeps me safe. It’s the version of me who can feel things in her own body, but not talk herself out of it. And I reinforced that with myself over and over and over again on purpose. I’m gonna talk about that. But every time that I listened to me and it worked out, I noticed it. I, said it out loud. I marked it. I, you know, I would do a little dance in the kitchen and go, “Look at that. I knew, I knew, I knew.” You know what I mean? So I wanna give you some actual examples because this is not a thing that happens like a- I don’t know, like I imagine like a big scene in a movie where I’m like, “Look at this thing,” and now suddenly I’m, I’m cured of this, like rehashing. I think it happens in a lot of little, teeny, tiny ways, and because I am such a journaler and because I have the podcast, I can kind of like look back and be like, “Oh, I remember that was a moment. When I did that podcast, that meant something,” right? That deflation was like when it finally went away and disappeared, you know, all along the way. And so if you wanna go back and listen, in episode, 386, it, it’s called… I think it’s called Do You Know Your Truth? And in that episode, I talk about going to The Bahamas, and I was down in The Bahamas, and I went by myself, and I was having a really nice time. I was down there, I, I don’t remember exactly. If you listen to the episode it’ll tell you, but I think it was a Thursday to a Monday. I had points. The whole trip cost me like 54 bucks. I went down by myself. I had a great time. I got a, like bought a seat at the pool, ’cause you could– there were some pools you could like buy a seat, and I’d ate french fries by the pool. Like, I ordered out- I ordered like o- e- every food they had on the me– like I just did anything that I wanted. And then on that Sunday morning or maybe even that Saturday afternoon, I thought, “I’m done. I’m ready to go home,” and I didn’t leave till Monday. And when something said in me that it’s time to go home, the old me would have argued with that. A- and I wanna say, if I was with people, I would have stayed, right? I, like I wasn’t there to… It wasn’t that important, except that I decided in that moment that nobody else was with me. There was no reason for me to stay other than it had been– it was paid for, even with points, like it still was paid for. And, you know, the old me would’ve been like, “It’s another day at the beach.” Like- Find something fun to do. Just stay. Uh, but I felt it, and my body is an oracle, and I was like, “I don’t wanna be here. Like, I’m just done. I’m not mad. I’m just I’m just done.” And so I trusted that. I packed up and I went home a day early. Okay? That is one time that was fairly big. So I think this starts to happen in really tiny ways and then in big ways, and I knew even when that was happening, this is an opportunity for me to, uh, create an experience for my brain. Like, I, I thought through it even in the moment. And then, y- you know, a couple weeks ago, I talked about in episode, um, 423, it was my birthday Q&A, and I talked about getting asked out on a date, but something in my whole body was like, “No.” I was in the shower that morning, and I was angry because they were asking me to, like, drive 40 minutes, and I just it’s… Which there’s nothing wrong with driving 40 minutes. There’s nothing wrong with meeting for lunch. There’s nothing wrong with any of it, but for me, my body was like, “No, no.” Like this, I don’t want this. This isn’t… I, I don’t know if there was, like, something familiar in it where my body was like, “Oh, we’re not gonna do this again, this thing of meeting for lunch and…” I, I don’t know. I don’t know what it was. I didn’t have to know. I just knew my body was like, “Ugh.” And so instead of overriding it the way that I used to, the way that I had been trained to my whole life, and I could come up with a million reasons. It’s fair. We’ll just go to lunch. It’s not that far. It’s only 20 minutes more than I wanted to drive each way. It’s the middle of the day, but it’s fine. I work for myself. It’s o- I, I can make my own schedule. It’s fine if I’m not getting done all the things I wanted to get done. It’s fine if I had no intention of meeting somebody for lunch but wanted to go out for cocktails. Like, it’s fine if I’m not gonna be able to dress up ’cause it’s lunch, when I wanted a different experience. And so instead, I just listened to that, and I trusted the no, and I was like, “No. I, I don’t wanna go.” And good for him because he dodged a bullet with me ’cause I wouldn’t have been I would, I wouldn’t have been in the place where he wanted to be if that’s what he wanted to do. You know what I mean? Good for him. And there are friendships over the past year where I have put up big boundaries where I never would have had the spine for before, like big, big ones. Uh, one time, I, I… Just the tone in somebody’s voice made me go, “Okay, that made something happen in my body. I did not like how they talked to me, and I won’t do that again with somebody else.” They’re not a bad person, and I don’t wish any harm on them. But for me, in where I was in my process, it was really important for me not to override myself in big or small ways. And here’s what I want you to know about, about doing that. I think that when you do it enough times, those big and small things, your body and your brain really start to experience the whole world different. You know? You, you, you start to believe in yourself, right? And once you believe in yourself, you don’t need the anger anymore. You don’t need to keep the file open. You don’t need to reframe every single thing that happens in your life. You don’t need to go out with friends and go, “Oh, I remember when this used to happen.” You don’t. You can just let it close. So- If you are, like, sitting in it right now, like you’re really trying to figure out whether you wanna stay or you wanna go, because I think, and I’m open to being wrong, but I think probably a lot of you are carrying anger or there’s, there’s anger h- I wanna say like festering. It’s almost like we can’t let ourselves feel the anger yet, ’cause if we felt all the anger we actually feel, we would explode into the vortex. And so we c- we temper it, you know what I mean? Like, we push it down. We end up getting a lot of resentment. I think that’s easier to, like, I wanna say swallow, but it’s easier to, like, understand or feel. And so if you’ve been carrying that for years, like somewhere in there you started to think that the answer is the anger. Like, if I can just stay angry enough, ’cause there’s moments where you’re not angry, and then you’re like, “Oh, well maybe I don’t know what to do,” so you think the anger is telling you what to do. The anger is gonna keep me from going numb for, for talking myself back into it again. Like, if I can keep the anger then I’ll know for sure, even though I’m not making any decisions to leave or to stay. Like, I’m not making a decision to stay. Even if you’re there, you may not really be there, you know what I mean? And so I’m not telling you to stay and I’m not telling you to go, ’cause that is not my job. That’s not why you’re here. But I wanna offer you this. Your anger isn’t your clarity. Your anger is your bodyguard. It’s like the thing that you hired because somewhere along the way you stopped trusting yourself to catch it on your own. So the work, the real work, isn’t deciding while you’re furious. Ugh, I know. It would maybe be easier. But your real work is, is building your trust back so that you can put the anger down and make the call, you know, from a steadier place, from a part of you that already knows how she wants this to go And so, you know, women that are writing me that are divorced already one time, two times, three times, telling me that they don’t know anymore how to tell if they’re gonna date somebody new, if it’s worth their time or, or people messaging me asking if they should stay or go, that they’re so resentful and angry they don’t even know what to do. What I wanna say is, you know, you don’t have to wait until you’re out to start building the scaffolding around you. You know, you build it now in the marriage, in the question. Like, in those regular moments where your body says something and you get to decide whether you listen, right? You get to decide which thing you listen to because that muscle that you build while you’re trying to decide, it’s the same muscle you use later to rebuild your life. If you decide to stay, it’s the same muscle you use to be able to keep your relationship in a good place. It’s the muscle that lets me say today to myself, “I trust myself completely to make good relationship decisions for the rest of my life.” Friendships, people that work with me, y- you know, uh, r- relationships, romantic relationships, every relationship in my life, I choose well, and if I choose and it stops working for me, I will trust myself to walk out, totally. And until the choice is obvious, I am completely content to be picky, whether it’s where I live or who I date or any of that, because I know what I’m worthy of. So if you’re sitting there wondering, running, running the file, as I say, going over that same thing one more time so you won’t forget, I want you to know you can loosen your grip on it. You’re not gonna forget and you don’t need anger to keep you safe. You already have the thing that keeps you safe, and it’s you. It’s the you who maybe you haven’t been listening to, even when you were talking right over her. So you already know. You’ve already… You’ve always known. Now the work is just how do I trust her? And I think when you have that down, that is how you live a really big life. All right, y’all. If you wanna dive in, we’ve got some calls on our calendar open this week. I think we have a couple left. Um, you can go to my website. Just hit book cook- Just let me s- let me say that again. L- just hit book a call. Book a call. It’s a free call, but it is intentional for people who are looking to get help with this, and that’s for my program, The Navigate Method. And, you know, this is how you start to walk the path and figure it out. You don’t have to stay, and you don’t have to go. You get to decide in this 10-week experience. So, all right. I love you guys so much. I will see you next week Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

Send us Fan MailWelcome to Guess the Year! This is an interactive, competitive podcast series where you will be able to play along and compete against your fellow listeners. Here is how the scoring works:10 points: Get the year dead on!7 points: 1-2 years off4 points: 3-5 years off1 point: 6-10 years offGuesses can be emailed to drandrewmay@gmail.com or texted using the link at the top of the show notes (please leave your name).I will read your scores out before the next episode, along with the scores of your fellow listeners! Please email your guesses to Andrew no later than 12pm EST on the day the next episode posts if you want them read out on the episode (e.g., if an episode releases on Monday, then I need your guesses by 12pm EST on Wednesday; if an episode releases on Friday, then I need your guesses by 12 pm EST on Monday). Note: If you don't get your scores in on time, they will still be added to the overall scores I am keeping. So they will count for the final scores - in other words, you can catch up if you get behind, you just won't have your scores read out on the released episode. All I need is your guesses (e.g., Song 1 - 19xx, Song 2 - 20xx, Song 3 - 19xx, etc.). Please be honest with your guesses! Best of luck!!The answers to today's ten songs can be found below. If you are playing along, don't scroll down until you have made your guesses. .....Have you made your guesses yet? If so, you can scroll down and look at the answers.......Okay, answers coming. Don't peek if you haven't made your guesses yet!.....Intro song: Revival in the Van (Land) by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (1977?)Song 1: That's Amore by Dean Martin (1953)Song 2: Work It by Missy Elliott (2002)Song 3: December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) by The Four Seasons (1975)Song 4: Maneater by Nelly Furtado (2006)Song 5: Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean (2010)Song 6: Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man (2017)Song 7: Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2 by Pink Floyd (1979)Song 8: Dream Lover by Bobby Darin (1959)Song 9: The Loco-Motion by Little Eva (1962)Song 10: Joy to the World by Three Dog Night (1970)

Hilary and Chris Barnard join us to talk about recent 3-D projects , but no glasses needed to enjoy this convesation, where we cover the history of 3-D comcs and film.They adapted the 3-d film Robot Monster for a new German pblication, Chris also worked on the restoration of a 1950s Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis film,"Money from Home" coming soon on BluRay from Kino Lober.We also talk about Hilary's Doctor Droom versus the1950s  Marvel/Atlas Monsters story for the recent Marvel miniseries . Droom was the original template  for Doctor Strange, and in the mdern era they changed him to Doctor Druid. Plus Barta's take on a Weird Al Yankovic song, in comic  book form. 

In this episode Betsy recounts her trip to Florida and the signs that she experienced while traveling. She explains the ‘put it down’ practice and how it can best serve us in our lives as well as how our brains notice things based on our focuses. This one is a good one if you need a reminder to take stock and choose you. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I recorded this yesterday, and it was amazing. You missed a really good show. My microphone wasn’t on, and I, if you are new here, I do these podcasts. I come up with an idea, and then I just talk. So the kinda cool thing is this will be a totally different show than yesterday, although the same topic. I s- I’m sticking to the same theme ’cause I do have a story that I wanna tell you, and it may be a story that you heard if you’re on my mail list. But I wanna dive in a little bit deeper, and I wanna give you some tools, as we go through this. I wanna talk a little bit about my, my trip to Florida and something very cool that happened, and I, I’m gonna call it magic. I believe that there’s magic that happens all around us, and I believe you have magic that happens all around you, too. So I’m gonna tell you how to find it and how to use it So I’m gonna tell you how to find it and how to use it so that you can actually make your life easier and, you know, maybe a little bit more fun too. So if you’ve been here for a while, you may know that my whole dang life I’ve wanted to move to the beach, and just a few months ago I got the idea that actually there was nothing stopping me and I could do that. And so this, th- I guess it was last weekend, two weekends ago. Memorial Day was this past weekend. The weekend before, I decided I was gonna go down to Florida and I was gonna look around. You know, if you listen to the episode about how I make big decisions, I really was leaning into California, and in fact, had a trip planned for California for this week that ended up getting rerouted. But I had decided that I was also gonna check out Florida for a lot of different reasons. You know, I grew up on the East Coast. Um, my dad is on the East Coast. He, he … And I’m h- I, I was about to say he’s elderly. I guess he is. He’s 85. I guess, I guess that is elderly. It just feels weird to call him that, but he is. He’s not sick or anything. He’s b- he’s a busy dude. But you know, it just feels good to be here. My son lives here in Atlanta, and so I, I would love to be a, a drive away or a 90-minute flight instead of, like, a whole day of travel, you know? So there’s a lot of things, besides the taxes and all of those things. I don’t have a runway like a 30-year-old. I have a runway like a 55-year-old that’s been divorced a couple times, you know what I mean? So we gotta be using our brains here. So I was like, “I’m gonna just go down to Florida and I’m gonna look around.” Tampa checks a lot of boxes because there’s the big airport, it’s a city, it’s by the beach, and, like, that St. Petersburg area. I’m like, “Okay. Well, this could be a place where I could see myself.” And so I thought, “I’m gonna go down there. I’m gonna rent a car and just drive all over.” And as it ended up, somebody reached out from Instagram, and she lives there, and she was like, “I’ll show you around.” And I had, like, the best w- I had the best weekend with her. So it was like I made a really good friend while I was down there. But here’s what happened. I decided I was gonna go down Thursday night. So I was gonna be here for my coaching that I do. We have the Navigate group on Thursdays, and I n- I never miss it. Like, it is a strange, strange moment if I miss it. Um, maybe once a year I will miss. Like, I, I mean, I, this is, like, my favorite thing ever, so I never wanna not be there. So I, although I have coaches that are amazing, and they would be amazing, but I’m just like, “I wanna, I, I wanna be there.” So I’m like, “I’ll do the coaching, and then- pack up my stuff, and head to the airport. I’ll take a flight that night. I’ll land in Tampa. I’ll just get a hotel right near the airport. That’ll be easy-peasy, and then in the morning when it’s light out, I’ll begin my adventure, you know? The next day, Friday morning, was my birthday. It was my 55th birthday. And here’s the thing. I thought to myself, “You know, I wanna be by the ocean on my birthday. That sounds really fun. And, you know, why not have a little adventure?” So that Thursday morning when I was prepping for the Navigate group, I thought, “I need to go bring my cat to the kitty hotel,” right? Like, get Dean Martin situated. Then I can do my thing and head out. And when I was walking around the house, I was, you know, picking up stuff and playing with the cat and doing whatever I needed to do, and I was talking to my mother. Now, if you’re new here, my mother transitioned back when I was in high school, when I was 16. She died when I was … Transition is such a… She croaked. When I was 16 she died in a car accident, and so I’ve never… You know, I haven’t gotten a birthday present from her since I was 16. And I said out loud, “You know, I talk to you a lot, and I trust that you’re here.” But I don’t know. You know, I was kinda like in one of those, like, prove it kind of moods. So I was like, “I don’t know. I don’t know if you’re really here, but if you are, I would like a birthday present. Haven’t had a birthday present from you in a long time, and I would love a birthday present, and I would love if it was something really obvious.” Do you guys do that, too, where you’re like, “Make it a sign,” and then the sign comes, and then you’re like, “Make it a signier sign. I need it to be super signed.” So I was like, “I want a birthday present. I want it to be really obvious.” And I said out loud, “I want it to be really obvious, not like an Amazon gift card or something,” which is kind of a weird thing to say, ’cause I would happily accept an Amazon gift card. But I, you know, said it out loud, and I actually felt it when I said that. Like, it felt funny when I said it, and then I continued. I was busy, busy. I was a busy girl all day. And anyway, I get to the airport. I get settled into the Sky Club because I have a Delta corporate card. I’m about to tell you all of the things that I require to travel, but I’m also too cheap to pay for them, so I have like a million workarounds. So first of all, I got my flight for free using points. I buy a coach seat, but I am Platinum, so I always get upgraded. Why am I Platinum? It’s not because I travel all the time, but it’s because I use my Delta corporate card for everything, for all my business stuff, right? So we end up putting a lot through that, and it gets me to Platinum status, okay? The cool thing about Platinum is you get to choose, like, your present, you know what I mean? Like, you get to choose the thing that you get. And so I have chosen, and I think you have to choose for the year, and I have chosen that I would get upgraded. So I always buy a coach seat, and typically I’ll get upgraded at least to Comfort Plus. I’m a short woman, so it’s not like I need a ton of leg room, but I like … I, I, I feel like my thing is I like- space. Like I don’t like to be herded places, and I don’t wanna feel crowded or rushed. Like that really stresses me out. So I get to the airport, I go to the Sky Club, which I have access to because I have the corporate card, not ’cause I, I’m too cheap to pay for that. But I have a corporate card, and go to the Sky Club, I hang out. It’s time to board the plane, and I look and I’m still not upgraded. And I’m like, “This is really weird.” I mean, it’s a short flight, so like I can hang in coach, but I’m in the middle. And I’m always on the end. Like I, I, I know it’s only 90 minutes, but I always have to pee. Like I’m like, I g- I need to be on the end. I don’t wanna be like in the middle. Ugh. But I’m in the back of the plane. I’m like in seat 29 in the middle seat. But it’s 90 minutes. I’m like, “It’s fine.” I get on the plane. There I am, like, you know, with my shoulders in, I’m as small as I can be so that the people on either side are taking up so much room. And I’m thinking to myself like, “You know what? I hate this.” Like I just do. And it’s okay. I’ll survive, right? Like it’s, if this is the worst of my issues this weekend. But I hate it. And so then the s- airline, um, not the pilot, the flight attendant says, “You know, we’ve oversold this flight.” It was already like delayed. You know? It was like 10 minutes delayed or something. Like it was a busy and it was late, you know. And I could tell they’re tired, and they’re like, “We’ve oversold this flight, and we need somebody to get off the plane and get on a flight two hours later if somebody’s interested in doing that.” Can you ring your bell? You know? So I ring my bell. ‘Cause immediately I’m like, “I don’t even wanna be on this flight. Like, I, I would pay you to go to the next flight.” And they’re giving a $600 voucher, so I’m like, I mean, I travel enough, I have enough things planned, so I’m like, “Yeah, heck yeah, I’ll do that.” Ring my little bell, the flight attendant comes over. She says to me, like, “Do you have luggage?” I’m like, “It’s on the plane.” She’s like, “It’ll be there waiting for you.” I’m like, “That’s great. I trust, I trust.” So I get off the plane, and the people at the f- at the gate, like the f- attendants at the gate are like, “Oh, did you… Thank you for, you know, shifting and going to the later flight.” I mean, it boards in, like, an hour, so I’m like, I’ll just go back to the Sky Club, get a drink, and by the time it’s, I’m done my drink, it’ll be time to board. And nobody’s waiting for me. I’m just… I just got a hotel at the, at the airport. Do you know what I mean? So I’m like, this is no… Like, how nice for somebody else that they could get off the plane, and I am gonna get a $600 voucher. So she says, “Thank you.” I’m like, “Yep, no problem.” And then she’s like, “It won’t print.” And she keeps trying to print, print the voucher, print the voucher, and then she says to the woman next to her, “Do you know why this isn’t printing?” And she’s like, “Well, press this, you know, press that. Try it again. Can you refresh? Maybe if we…” Like, they’re, they’re, they’re going through it, you know? And like I said, it’s late. I can tell these people have had a day. Like, she’s just like, “I can’t get this to print.” So she calls, and she says, like, “It’s printing, but it’s not printing the voucher.” And she’s like, “Will you email it?” So then she looks at me, and she’s like, “Can you check your email?” I’m checking my email. I’m checking my junk. There’s nothing. She’s like, “Try to email it again. It’s not coming through.” She doesn’t have anything. They try it again. And finally she shoves a piece of paper in my hand, and was like, “Here, take this.” So I took the paper and went on my way. I got myself a drink, I sat down, and I looked down, and what did I have but a voucher for a $600 Amazon gift card. Now- Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. What is actually happening? What’s actually happening? Now, you could hear this story and be like, “Well, that was a coincidence.” Like random, like really good timing, funny timing. Or I could tell you that there’s magic, magic all around us, and it is just what we choose to believe. Everything is what we choose to believe. And both of those things are true. It could be a coincidence, could be random. It is funny timing, and it does feel magical, and that is what I would like to believe. But here’s what else is true, is that there is part of our brain that you’ve heard of called the reticular activating system, the RAS, and its job is to filter, okay? So your brain is taking in like several million pieces of information every second. And when I say your brain, I mean, like, your nervous system. So, like, you’re seeing things and hearing things and feeling things and smelling things. Like, all this stuff is coming in all at once. And you can only consciously pr- like, process 126 of those pieces of information, so that means there’s a lot of information that’s just getting lost. It stays in the back of your mind. It stays in your brain. You just aren’t consciously aware of it. So there’s like a little mailman in there that is filtering stuff. It’s taking in all the mail and looking at it and throwing you the pieces that it thinks are important. It decides what gets through to your conscious awareness and what gets tossed out as, like, background noise. So the RAS filters for what you’re focused on. I remember when I bought my car. I have a little white SUV. It’s not rare. But I bought that car and I thought, “I’ve never seen this car before. Like, this is so unique and special,” I thought. I bought it, and now sometimes I go to the grocery store and I’ll come out and there’s like four of them in a row. Like, they’re everywhere. Everybody has them. I just wasn’t looking for them before. My RAS wasn’t set to notice those. So when I asked my mom for a sign, and I said, “Make it obvious,” and when I joked about an Amazon gift card, I set my RAS to look for it. And so when it showed up, I felt something. I noticed. Someone else might have glanced at the voucher and thought, “Oh, .” Y- you know, whatever. . But I was looking for magic, and so I saw it. I felt it as proof So here’s what I’ve been thinking about since that trip. When we are sitting in the middle of hard things, you know, a hard decision. I, I was going down there to look for a place that I was gonna move to live, and I’ll give you the update on that. It’s… There’s… I, I still have questions. But when we’re in the middle of this big, hard decision, it can feel really crushing to carry it all by ourselves. You know, I was feeling that, the weight of it, the fear that I’m gonna choose wrong or miss something, the exhaustion of trying to figure out every single piece of this all on our own. And, you know, I talk a lot when I talk online, and I talk about the Navigate method, and I talk about how important it is for women to make decisions for themselves, and I believe that. I believe nobody else should make the decision for you, ’cause this is how we learn to trust ourselves. But what if we didn’t have to totally do it all on our own? What if we could hand something over, like, like, like, one little thing, and let ourselves be guided? You know, let ourselves be cared for. I, uh, this weekend or that weekend, it was last weekend it was such a lesson in allowing myself to be cared for. You know, did, did my mother give me the $600 Amazon gift card? I think so, but I think she also gave me the friend that took care of me, that took care of everything. If you follow along on Instagram, you know I got food poisoning. She took care of me. She mothered me. And I needed that so bad. And so what if we could let ourselves be guided, let ourselves be cared for, let the universe meet us part way? I’m not saying let somebody else make the decision for you, but I’m saying the decision can be easier when you’re not white-knuckling your way through it all by yourself. So here’s where I think the brain part of this gets really interesting. You know, when we grip, you know, when we’re in control mode, when we’re trying to force an outcome or manage every single variable, our nervous system is really in protection mode. And then what does my RAS do, is it starts filtering for threats, right? It starts looking for like, “Oh my God, she thinks something’s gonna go wrong. What could go wrong? What do I need to control? What am I missing? What am I not seeing? Show her the fear. Show her the unsteadiness.” Right? And when your brain is doing that, you literally can’t see the help that’s available. You can’t notice the signs. You can’t receive any new ideas or, you know, the other options and, you know, doors that you wanna be open seem closed, because your brain isn’t scanning for that stuff. Your brain is scanning for danger. It’s scanning for what could go wrong. It’s scanning for all the times you’re walking on eggshells or afraid you’re gonna make a wrong decision. But when you physically let go, when you open your hands, when you open your hands and you ask for help out loud, something shifts. I do think there’s something magical about speaking it out loud. I think when I was talking to my mom and I was doing it out loud, I could… There was something. Have you ever had that feeling where you’re like, “I feel something moving in me,” you know? And our nervous system reads that as safety, right? It stops filtering for threat- And it starts filtering for possibility when I’m speaking out loud, when I’m calm, when my hands are open. You start noticing things you couldn’t notice before, not ’cause they weren’t there, but just ’cause your brain wasn’t looking for them. Okay, so there’s another piece to this. Your brain is also a, a pattern-matching machine. Like, it’s constantly scanning for patterns. It’s constantly trying to prot- te- uh, I wanna say protect, but no, predict. I w- it’s constantly trying to predict what’s going to happen based on what’s happened before. And when you’re stuck in hard decisions, when you’re stuck in looping on the same thoughts over and over again, you’re reinforcing those same neural pathways. You’re telling your brain basically, “This is the pattern. This is what we do here.” And your brain just keeps running that pattern over and over and over again. This is how come, like, y- y- you know, your partner may stomp around the house, and you go, “Oh, my God. I know what’s gonna happen ’cause I know what happened before,” right? I, I can feel it. I know something’s gonna go sideways. And so you start walking on eggshells. You start being… You’re hypervigilant. You’re listening for w- whatever sound, rustle in the grass you need to be aware of so that you can protect yourself, right? But when you let go, when you put something down, you know, it, your brain can, can shift to something new. It’s not like you’re doing something wrong by listening to those patterns, it’s just that your brain is doing what it’s designed to do, and it’s conserving energy, right? So it’s running a program that it already knows. But when you put it down, then you create space, and in that space, you can form all new patterns. You know, new thoughts can come to you, new ideas can come through, new possibilities can show up that weren’t available when you were gripping really hard. And this is why people say things like, um, like, “I stopped trying so hard, and then it just happened. Like, I don’t know, it just happened. As soon as I let go of needing it to work out, like, it just became obvious.” And it’s not magic. Well, it’s a little magic, but it’s neuroscience. You created space, and your brain had room to find a new pattern. Okay, so here’s how we’re gonna put this into practice. I’m gonna give you something you can try this week. I call it the put it down, put it down practice, and it is designed to shift you from really gripping to having your hands open and receiving. So it’s, it moves you from that, like, control mode to open mole- mode, and then y- you, you kinda stop… You stop scanning for threat, and then you start essentially scanning for what’s available. So here’s how it works. Step one is you’re gonna name what you’re holding. So say it out loud if you can, like the decision, the outcome, the how. So I’m holding the question of whether to stay or go. I’m holding the fear that I’m gonna choose wrong. I’m holding the need to figure out how this is all gonna work before I take my first step. So just name it, whatever it is. I’m holding the overwhelm of trying to find where to live. So step two is you physically put your hands out. There is a, a, a loop between your body and your brain, and I’m gonna use my body to send alerts to my brain. I know it sounds kinda simple, but your, your body and your brain are connected. So when you open your hands, you’re signaling to your nervous system that you’re receiving. You’re not grasping, you’re available, right? Not defending anything. It’s, it’s how your nervous system reads safety, okay? So you’re gonna physically put your hands out, palms up. And then step three is you’re gonna ask out loud, “What’s the one thing I can hand over right now?” Not, “What should I do?” Or not, like, “How do I fix this?” But, “What is one thing I can hand over?” And you’re gonna ask it to the universe, or to God, or, uh, to your dead mom. Like whatever it is, whatever it is that works for you. And ask it to the part of you that already knows. It doesn’t matter who you’re asking, really. It just matters that you’re asking. And then step four is that you’re just gonna wait. Don’t answer it yourself. Don’t, like, fill that silence with your own voice. Just wait and let the answer come to you. This is such a skill to learn to just, like, wait until you feel something. So then the fifth step, I guess we’d be on step five, right? Notice what shows up in the next 24 hours, 48 hours. It might be a thought you didn’t have before, a conversation that feels different than it would have a couple days ago. You know, maybe an opportunity that opens up, you weren’t even looking for one. Maybe it’s a $600 Amazon gift card when you specifically said not that. The point is, you’re not looking for something, like, specific. You’re not looking for a specific answer. You’re looking for movement. You’re looking for the thing that you couldn’t see when you were holding on so tight, you know? I did ask my dad, I said, “What are you sending me?” ‘Cause my mom gave me a $600 gift card. “What are you gonna get me?” It was probably a joint gift, I think. So this is what happens when you’re sitting in the middle of a, a big decision. You know, trying to move to the beach, trying to make a decision about your marriage, and you’re trying to logic your way through it all alone. You keep pushing. You keep thinking. You keep trying to see around corners and, you know, predict outcomes, manage things that you can’t actually control, and then your brain keeps running the same loop, right? It keeps asking the same questions and having the same fears and patterns. So what if, what if you didn’t have to carry all that by yourself? What if you could just hand one thing over and let yourself be supported, let yourself be guided, let yourself receive help instead of white-knuckling your way through it alone? I, I don’t think the decision gets made for us, but the decision gets clearer, I think, when you stop gripping so hard. So pick something this week. Maybe it’s something easy, something that doesn’t have a lot of emotional charge to it, and do the put it down practice. Do- just try it once. See what happens. Name the thing you’re holding, open your hands, ask the question out loud, wait, and then pay attention. Because magic is all around us. It’s, it’s just what we choose to believe, and if your brain is designed to find what you’re looking for, ask it to look for help. Ask it to look for signs. Look for the thing that you couldn’t see when you were in protection mode. And I think when you can do that, that is how you live a big life. If you want help on this journey, we’ve got some spots available on the calendar this week. Um, if you are interested in the Navigate Method, or if you’re not quite there yet, you’re like, “I don’t, I don’t wanna go all in on all that,” I have a process on my website called The Bridge, and it is a truth map that will guide you to the next right thing. And then maybe at that point you’ll be ready to do some of the deeper work inside the Navigate Method. But we are here when you’re ready. Be open to it and allow us to help pick up what you’re carrying. I love you guys so much. I’ll see you next week Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pay and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

Getting kissed by Sean Connery, whilst he was James Bond, fanned repeatedly by Bob Dylan when she sang, plucked for a film by Frank Sinatra, bagels and the part of a lifetime from Tom Hanks, gaslit and insulted by Jerry Lewis, adored and showcased by Dean Martin, wildly successful club proprietor with Hugh Hefner, best friends with Connie Stevens, and Diane Ladd, taught a golden secret by Shelley Winters, asked to serenade her hero Judy Garland, and then had the favor returned, making the funny with Renee Taylor, the straight serious with John Houseman, stress understudying Barbara Streisand, mad love for Bette Midler, who almost played her, Tony, Emmy Golden Globe nominee, Lainie Kazan, dancer, singer, actor, spilled all this and so much more! My favorite character in my favorite movie, My Favorite Year, we got the behind-the-scenes fun, Peter O'Toole and his wonderfulness, improvising one of the funniest lines, likewise with My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which she waited a year to hear, then had the time of her life with a cast she's still connected to. What a life Lainie's led! What work she's done! And what a fun, fierce, and fabulous woman she is! Blessed to call her a friend and even more to know she was off to have drinks and dinner with my mother, which she does most nights. I can't wait for her in-process memoir, sure to shock, delight, and thrill. I love Lainie! Who doesn't! Lainie Kazan Live on Game Changers With Vicki Abelson Wed, May 27, 5 pm PT, 8 pm ET Streamed Live on my FB, YouTube & LinkedIn

On this week's episode of Copeland's Corner, Brian is joined by Tom Sawyer, Cathy Ladman, and Jim Vallely. The panel begins with a discussion of Texas politics, examining Ken Paxton's primary victory, the influence of Trump endorsements, voter behavior, and whether shifting political dynamics could create opportunities for Democrats in traditionally Republican strongholds. They also explore the role of religion in modern political messaging and how cultural identity shapes electoral outcomes.  The conversation then turns personal as the guests reflect on their religious upbringings, experiences questioning faith, and the ways family expectations can influence personal beliefs. Cathy shares stories about growing up Jewish and navigating family reactions to her rejection of religious traditions, while the group discusses the broader purpose religion serves in people's lives. Comedy takes center stage as the panel debates the evolution of roast culture, comparing today's headline-generating celebrity roasts to the classic Dean Martin and Friars Club era. The discussion explores changing social norms, workplace sensitivity, and how comedians balance humor with shifting audience expectations. Later, the group examines celebrity relocations, political polarization, media consolidation, and the challenges facing Los Angeles following recent wildfires. They also discuss the growing impact of AI on entertainment, the realities of aging as performers, and why adapting creatively remains essential in a changing industry. -- Connect with our Guests... #CathyLadman - Website  and @CathyLadman1 on Instagram   #JimVallely - Wiki Bio #TomSawyer - TomSawyerVoices.com -- #TexasPolitics #KenPaxton #FaithAndPolitics #RoastComedy  #AIInEntertainment #HollywoodTalk #PoliticalCommentary  #BrianCopeland #CopelandsCorner #HeadlinersOnTheHeadlines#CopelandUnfiltered #ComedyCommentary #PodcastersOfYouTube #ComicsOnAir #TalkPodcast#PoliticalHumor #PoliticalPodcast #HotTalkTopicsPodcast#ComedyNewsShow #CurrentEventsComedy #NewsCommentaryShow#WeeklyComedyTalk #BayAreaTalkShow #ComedyPodcastInterviews #ComedyPodcastHost Hosted by the Bay Area's own Brian Copeland, a longtime Actor, Comedian, Author, Playwright, Television and Radio Personality. Brian and The Copeland's Corner Network of content creators provide a weekly mashup of news, interviews and comedy.--For more from Brian...Visit his website: www.BrianCopeland.comFollow on Social Media: Instagram - @CopelandsCorner & @BrianCopieEmail: BrianCopelandShow@Gmail.com --Copeland's Corner is Created, Hosted, & Executive Produced by Brian Copeland. This Show is Recorded & Mixed by Charlene Goto with Go-To Productions. Visit Go-To Productions for all your Podcast & Media needs.Our Booking Producer is Tom Sawyer. For any show inquiries, please email CopelandsCornerPodcast@gmail.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

From Storytelling to Singing Guest: Jenna Esposito Host: Anna Harsh What can dancers learn from a world-class vocalist who's shared the stage with legends?This week, Jenna Esposito joins me to break down performance at the highest level from breath control and stamina to storytelling, stage presence, and so much more...If you want to move like a true artist, keep listening...Vocalist Jenna Esposito made her New York nightclub debut in 2004 and has been delighting audiences across the country ever since, with her dynamic, high-energy shows. She is renowned for her tributes to Connie Francis and Dean Martin, as well as her tributes to “The Great Italian-American Songbook.” Connie Francis herself was a big fan of Jenna's work, raving, "I've known and loved Jenna for years and love the way she sings. I'm ever so grateful for the love and respect she shows to the catalog of songs that has been so good to me through the years." Jenna also has a passion for the rock and pop music of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and often performs tributes to the music of that era. Jenna Esposito https://jennaesposito.com/Anna Harsh : www.AnnaHarsh.com Like, share and subscribe for more great conversations!

Big things are on the horizon for Betsy! A book deal, a beach move, a birthday. Tune in to this Q & A to get to know the woman behind The Art of Living Big and The Navigate Method. With lots of laughs and a few tears, this one is a great one to watch or listen to. Check out the video version on YouTube. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big  All right, I’m excited. I’m excited to do this. I’m excited, and Feels very official. actually am, um, nervous, which is weird, ’cause I d- I mean, I’ve had this podcast for how long? Like 10 years. But I’m nervous, because I feel like we’re not… Yeah, we’re not just ask- can’t believe I’m not nervous, but I’m just excited for it. All right, I’m excited too. Okay, so let’s tell everybody who you are that’s listening. So I’m, I’m Joy, and I am Betsy’s ops person, um, her virtual assistant, go-to person hopefully. And, uh, I Yeah. job. It’s been an honor and a privilege to work for someone so innovative and caring and, , I , I can’t say enough good things about Navigate. I’m an No. member myself. I am Yeah. be working for you now years later after I completed the program. But, , I love my job. Yeah. Oh, that makes me happy. And now you can add podcast host Yeah, a resume. I don’t know about that. We’ll see. So this episode is gonna be a little different than typical. My birthday’s next week, which I wanna say, like, I don’t care, whatever, but I do. I think I do kinda care. I think I’ve always tried to not care, but I think it’s kind of fun that my birthday’s next week. , I’ll be 55, and my birthday is on 5/15, and I feel like the numbers are all, like… I feel like it’s kinda magical, and I don’t know why. I’m not, , a numerology buff or anything , but , it just feels like 55 and then this. So I’m excited to kinda do this. And so I thought what we would do is, , we asked on Instagram just for, , questions of what people had. ready. Yeah, and you’ve got them ready. Okay, and then you had some other ones of your s- your own that I don’t necessarily know all of them, , so yeah. So we’ll… we can just dive in and see where the conversation takes us. I know. I’m excited. Okay. So also I wanna say about 5:15, that’s a special number for you, isn’t it? Yeah, well, uh, uh, I think because it’s my birthday, I always am looking for 5:15. Like, I’m always… I think it’s, like, a message from my mom. I do too, because we post your podcast at 5:15. Yeah. Yes, that’s right, yeah. We post it at 5:15 a- on Thursday mornings. Yeah, yeah. That’s, I like it, and I feel like it feels balanced and also, , I know this is a weird thing, but like 5-1-5, it feels balanced, and it feels like the one is, uh… It’s not a hyphen, but a what would go this way? Do you know what I mean? Up and down. So it feels like 5-5, which feels like a mirroring and- Like, , it’s not infinity, it’s not an eight, but it feels like that to me. Like, kind of chaotic, but also measured, you know? So anyway, I love the 515, yeah. Yeah, I, I like numbers too, but I’m a, I’m an even number person. Yeah. pump gas without ending on an even number. It’s so weird. Oh, really? Yeah. I know it’s weird. I love that. It is weird. So But thanks. love that ’cause it’s weird. Are you ready for your first question? Okay. Yeah, I think so. Okay. ., So this is a question that kind of encompasses everything that you do, so it’s a good starting point, I feel like. Okay. you help women decide whether to stay or leave, and you left. , So looking back, was there a single moment that you knew, or was it a slow build that you only saw clearer in the rearview mirror? Oh, okay. That’s a really good question. I’m so scared right now. Okay. So here’s what I think to answer this question. I wanna, like, zoom way, way out, and I’m gonna start with, like I’m gonna s- I’m gonna start, like, when I’m a kid, and you’re gonna be like, “Oh my God. Is she gonna tell her whole life story?” But for those of you that are listening that are fairly new, so I believe that we are always doing things, our actions are coming from a place of trying to keep us safe. Like, emotionally safe or physically safe, right? And so even if we’re doing things sometimes that is clear that that’s not helpful, it’s because our brains think that it’s keeping us safe, and part of the reason it thinks it’s keeping us safe is ’cause we’re alive, and it’s our, our unconscious mind’s prime directive is to keep us alive. So whatever we’re doing is hypothetically working ’cause you’re alive, okay? So when I was in high school, my mom died in a car accident, and pretty soon after that my dad got remarried. Now, he was married to my mom and, , f- by all accounts was happy enough, you know? And then he started dating somebody, I would say within, , eight or nine months of my mom dying, and then they got married very quickly. It wasn’t, , the best relationship. They’re all still alive, so I wanna be careful of how I speak about it. But it wasn’t… I, I, I was se- 17 by the time they got married, and it wasn’t a safe relationship for me, and so I think I did a lot of accommodating to- Feel safe. So I would get in trouble for a lot of things, and I had never been a kid that ever got in trouble. Do you know what I mean? , My, my mother was always so, so kind and , respectful of my sister and I. So that whole relationship, I think, really changed the dynamic of how I experienced relationships. And I think I was pretty, like when we think about attachment theory, like I think I was securely attached and then became anxious after my mom died in that whole experience. Okay. So now, when the question is, like, when you got d- divorced, was it all at once or was it a, a, you know, slow burn? I wanna say… I- I’m gonna tell you my journey of … Joy’s like, “This is a longer answer than I expected.” But the, , the jour- the journey of, of… Let me tell you why I am so chic. Because I have been married several times. And so to answer that question I’m like, “Well, which time?” Okay. When I was in college, I got married right after college, and, I got divorced very quickly. … We didn’t have kids. Like, there was no… And so I know that that was a marriage. We had a wedding. It… But in my brain it doesn’t feel like one. It feels like such a blip, and I was so young, and honestly, I was coming right off the heels of my mom dying, like five years before or something. Do you know what I mean? , It all feels very blurry. And so then years later I met my son’s dad, and that was my second marriage, but felt like my first. It operated like my first. And more importantly, my third marriage operated like my second. I sound very chic, Joy. I’m very chic. Um, so my first marriage, I think I, I, I… What I have found in my relationships in general, marriages or otherwise, is that I have chosen people that I could try and heal that relationship with my dad. Like, I’m gonna tell you something’s wrong, and you’re gonna ignore me and tell me I’m misreading it, which is what happened when I was young. And so I would find people unconsciously that I could play that out because that felt safe, because that was so familiar, right? And so I, I think that I did that with my first marriage, and I was not mature enough to recognize that there was something going on within me. And then I got divorced when my son, m- and I have a trans son, so when my son was four. And then again, you know, replayed stuff. Had some terrible relationships in between all of that. And then married my last, my last and final. I will never get the government involved ever again. So my, my most recent marriage, and that was a marriage that lasted… We were married for 12 years. We were together, like, 15 years. And I think I was playing the same exact thing out, but the difference this time, and what I teach inside the Navigate method, is that we can trust ourselves, right? That we can find the, our side of the street and heal our side of the street. That we can use the relationship as a mirror to figure ourselves out so much deep, much deeper. And so I think I knew almost immediately that my marriage wasn’t good, and for a lot of circumstances, I stayed for a long time. I think I didn’t wanna fail again. I think my , r- you know, relationship with my, then my daughter at that time was complicated, ’cause she was getting sick as a teenager, and there was just a lot of things going on where, , it didn’t… I couldn’t leave. And I say I couldn’t. I had options, but, , I, I didn’t feel like I could leave, and I didn’t want to. I wanted desperately for it to be good. And what I realize now is that going through that whole process and actually using it to heal myself, and now I would say I’m absolutely securely attached, earned secure, because I earned it back. But that relationship, although, , one of the most heinous in my life I think, I’m the most grateful for it. It changed me in such profound ways because I did the work, because I looked at it, because I paid attention and didn’t say, “I’m gonna let…”, I was like, “I’m not letting…” This is, it, to me, and I’m gonna say this too as we continue this conversation, in my relationships, any of them, I’m not the only one in them. And so, you know, if you brought my former husband, any of select one, any of the many former husbands, like they may have a totally different story, and it doesn’t mean they’re wrong. It just means that’s our versions, and there’s a truth in there somewhere in the middle, right? But to me, I’m like, that relationship was so profoundly, , harmful to me that it forced me into change, and for that I am incredibly, incredibly grateful. So to answer the question, it didn’t happen all at once, but the clarity of, oh, I’m healed enough to do this on my own, I get it, sort of unraveled within, , I would say, like, the last six or eight months. If that makes sense. That is a very answer to that question. sense. and you needed the backstory to, to complete that, Yeah. Yeah. that. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Okay. question. Okay. It’s okay, it’s okay. Okay. What’s something that you believed about your own marriage right up until the end that turned out not to be true? Oh, question. God, that’s a good question. Is that one of yours, or is that one that we got in? That’s one that was the myth. What is some… Say it again, something that’s true What is was true. about your own marriage right up until the end that turned out not to be true? That’s… That there was something I could have done to save it. I don’t think there was anything I could have done. I think lots of times we try and make sense of things, and we’re like, “If I could have done this better,” or, “Maybe if I had just learned how to cook dinner better,” or I had… Do you know what I mean? Like, we think of all the things, and now I recognize that what was happening, just like for him, none of what I was doing had to do with him. It was, had to do with this old story. The same thing for him. What he was doing and how he was responding and how he was interacting with me had nothing to do with me, and there was nothing I could have done, and I think that actually brings me a lot of peace. But it, uh, it took me a,, a long while, even after we were divorced, for me to get to that. Yeah. good answer. I think, I think that’s probably a common answer because as women, I think we feel like we maybe could try this, maybe we could try this, Yeah. and, and maybe there’s nothing else and I, yeah, and I think, not to interrupt you, I’m sorry. , That’s why we go to couples counseling, and I don’t have anything against couples counseling. But I think that what happens is we go, and then we talk about problems that have happened, and you’re talking about the problem, but the problem actually isn’t the issue. It’s the reasons that you got to the problem. So if everybody would just go their own way and figure out their own crap, you, y- you wouldn’t have to, like, rehash a situation for two months, you know? Like, I, I could have rehashed so many different situations, and we never, ever, ever… It’s clear we never could have come to a conclusion ’cause it was our own crap we were bringing in. I, I was responding to stuff because of me and who I was, and he was responding s- to stuff because of him. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. It’s okay. It’s okay, Bessie. you’re great. You’re doing really good. I know. I don’t know. Okay, people assume the woman who teaches this work has it all figured out. Mm-hmm. ending are you still making sense of? Oh, I think one of the biggest things, and I think if people follow me for a long time, I think they understand that I often will even say, people, like, “I’m on this path with you. I don’t think we ever have it all figured out.” And I think one of the biggest mistakes I could ever make as a leader or as a coach would be to make people feel like I had it all figured out. ‘Cause I never want anybody to, um, need me forever. Like I always say to my clients, “I want you to want me forever, but I don’t want you to need me. I want you to have your own tools and your own ways of thinking so I, I’ll never have it all figured out, and I think there’s always things to uncover. One of the things that I think I do really well is I will sit and think about stuff, and I won’t… Or I, I say I won’t. It’s not that I never, but I try. I do, not avoid hard thoughts. I make room for hard thoughts. And so as I come up against things I haven’t had, don’t have figured out, there’s always new things to uncover and I will figure them out. If that makes sense. So I know I’m not necessarily answering the question, but it’s just, like I don’t have the, to let, make a list of all the things I don’t have figured out. It’s everything. You know? Like there’s so much, ’cause I am not one that, that pushes the idea that I do. I think that’s– I mean, because we’re always evolving and, and changing and figuring stuff out as we Yeah. And you question, but… yeah, and you know sometimes when I get really overwhelmed, uh, with work, and then I’ll say like, “I’m just gonna go sit,” and you’re always like, you’re good at “What the…” Yeah, and you’re like, “What the hell? What the heck?” I’m like, “I’m just gonna go sit and just be quiet for 15 minutes and see what happens.” normal.” Yeah. “Let me do 800 things that Yeah, you always tell me. Yeah, I love it. Okay, so this is about your birthday. Oh, okay. um, okay. So you’re about to turn 55. Mm-hmm. that you thought you would have figured out by now that you haven’t, have you made peace with that? I think I thought I would- grow up and have, like, a family and, like, the father of the bride house and the white picket fence and a husband that adored me. I’ve never ever, ever, I’ve never ever had anybody in my life that adored me. I think I thought I would, have, uh probably more kids than just one. I think, you know what I mean? I think there was, I, I think there’s so much of my life that isn’t what I thought it was gonna be and I think it’s because what I thought it was gonna be was created before my mom died and when she died it, like, scrambled eggs, you know what I mean? And, and I really like where I ended up right now, you know? So I think it’s not… Martin adores you. Dean Martin does adore me but only See? wants to. He’s ve- he’s al- he’s taught me more about consent. Like, consent is, is a, a subject that comes up sometimes in the Navigate group, right? Like with your husband, like, you know, if he wants sex and I don’t want sex and how, can I say no and all of those things. I swear to God I learned more about consent from my freaking cat. Like, it makes sense. , You have to ask permission to grab at somebody. So yeah. Okay. Um, let’s see. Oh, I love this question. I love this question. , What is a pattern that you see in almost every woman who comes to you that she swears does not apply to her? . I know what it is and I’m just trying to formulate it. Um, I think, well, I think first of all every woman thinks that their husband’s behavior is their fault. Like if they could do something different then things could be different and I think that they take a lot of ownership of his behavior instead of letting him own it and that becomes really heavy. And you think that Yeah, I think- that at the time? Yeah. Yeah. I think they don’t realize it and then I think as we move through the program then they start to recognize it but I don’t think it’s just like if you’re listening and you’re like, “Oh yeah,” I think that’s not a thing you can just hear and go, “Oh okay.” I think you have to, like, internalize it and I think going through the program helps you, like, viscerally understand that and I think that’s like the shift, a big shift that happens for people Mm-hmm. Because, yeah, maintaining somebody else’s life is impossible. Okay, this is another question that pertains to the work you do in Navigate. , So you’ve been clear that you don’t push women towards staying or leaving Mm-hmm. the Navigate program. Um, has that ever cost you a client that you’d wish you’d been more direct with? Like where I wish they had left or I wish they had stayed? I know, I know personally, I can tell you that as a, a former Navigate person, hearing some of the stories, sometimes, you know, part of you, the girlfriend side of you wants to be like, you gotta get out of there.” Yeah. you, you’re very good about not, , Yeah. that on anyone and letting them arrive at those decisions themselves. So I guess, that is the question. — Has it ever cost you a client that you’ve y- you would– were more direct with? yeah. I, I’m gonna say no, and the reason that I’m gonna say no is because it’s not that I think, “Oh, they should leave,” but I left, and then I went back, and then I had to leave again a couple years later, which we can talk about that. But, like, that process was so important for me that I need people to have their own process because that’s the only way we trust ourselves. And part of this program is, is getting women to a place where they know themselves so deeply, and if I’m putting any pressure on any of that, then that whole foundation crumbles. Mm-hmm. is there part of me that’s like, “Give me his phone number”? Yeah, and sometimes I’ll say that. Do you know what I mean? Like, ’cause there is the girlfriend side of you that’s like, “Girl. Oh my God.” But, but also, , the overarching goal and purpose, and I… , and again, I’m gonna go back to, like, when I said I was so grateful for my former husband this last relationship because I feel like this is my purpose. This is why I’m here on this planet, and I never, ever, ever could have got here if I hadn’t had that relationship. Oh my God, I’m so grateful for that relationship. But that’s how come I know not to push anybody anywhere. Mm-hmm. Yeah. good answer. this is kind of a piggyback question,, what is a piece of your own advice that you’ve struggled to take? A piece of my own advice I struggle to take I, I’m gonna say this.  I don’t typically give advice unless I’ve lived it. I think that one of the things that anyone that’s worked with me would say is that I will say, I’ll even say, like, “Hey, I’m open to being wrong. You decide what feels right to you.” And even in my personal relationships, I’ll say, “I’m open to being wrong,” ’cause I’m open to learning. I’m really open to learning and seeing things in a different way. I love when I can see things in a different way., I think in my… If I were to say, is there something that, advice I should take, it’s just that I can’t control everything. Like, I, uh,, you know, we all have that desire to want to have some sense of control of the world and the universe, and you just can’t. You can’t make people do what you wanna, want them to do. You can only invite. You know, the you can’t lead a horse to water. It’s the same with me, I guess.  Like, I can know the things, and there’s gonna be days where I’m, I bypass myself just because I’m human. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Good. Okay, let’s see. Hmm. Okay. You live alone. What does a hard night actually look like for you, and what do you do? A hard night. So, Is there any hard nights alone? yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, I know, right? There’s been some debate on Instagram on any of my posts where I say I’m not lonely. I don’t get lonely. I get bored. I don’t get lonely. And so now I’m gonna say something, and I’m open to being wrong if this w- people were to label this as lonely. But one of the things that I found is that I had limited friendships when I was married, and those friendships- Sort of disintegrated, and I had to create all new friendships. And I think I had hard nights in the beginning in that that was really confusing to me. Nothing happened. I, I still w- I wouldn’t be shocked if somebody reached out to me and said, “Oh my God, I haven’t talked to you in so long. You wanna go get a coffee?” ‘Cause nothing happened, but there was just a shift, and I think there was an energetic shift to me, and that felt confusing because I… Nothing had happened. So, so there were nights, especially in the beginning, I think, where it was more like confusing of like, “How do I make friends? Like, what did I do? Why w- at this, , vulnerable moment did the people that were in my life disappear?” And I think there’s, again, it had nothing to do with me. And so, um, I think the hard nights were just that like, “How do I rebuild my life?” And kind of figuring that out. That makes And then the… And there’s ice cream for nights like that. But I think most of the time, like, I have pretty good nights. , I have my routines, you know? I, I work, and then I make dinner, and then I sit on the couch, and I like to watch YouTube videos. I, I have YouTube, like the subscription, so I don’t have commercials. And I love going down the rabbit hole of documentaries, and I watch all a bunch of stuff about the Gilded Age, and I’m into, like, uh, uh, you know, how they run stuff. Like, I watched this documentary the other day on how they run the Atlanta airport. It’s so fascinating. How they run cruise ships., So I, I’m into stuff, and I’m interested and curious. And then when I get tired, I get in bed, and you know, people have heard me talk about my evening routine with the bed. But like, I get in my BedJet heated up bed and crick it away while I read or watch TV. , .. and I have a lot of friends that I message with. , We use Voxer, and you and I use Voxer. But , we message about stuff all the time. Like, you’re having a glass of wine and you’re like say- You know, like, there’s a lot of interaction that I have with people now that’s friends that live all over., It does take up time and, and space in a good way.. And that is the part that’s like I’m never really lonely, ’cause I have all these structures around me that if I w- want somebody, I could just reach out. But I think in the beginning it was that, like, reorienting and how do I recreate my life. Mm-hmm. Well, I think every woman too that, , is watching will, feel like, you know, when they’re alone or their husband’s out of town, it’s almost like a Yeah, really. Yeah. cool. Yeah, yeah. I got a message from a friend the other day, um, and she reached out to me a couple months ago, and I hadn’t heard from her, like, in years. And I was talking to her, she lives in New York, and I was talking to her a lot on Voxer when we met, and,, she’s a business owner, too, and you know what I mean, we commiserated on all that stuff. Uh, and it was when I was living with my husband. We were married at the time. And anyway, the other day we were messaging and she said, “You know, Betsy, you need to go back and listen to your voice in the messages that you would leave me back in like 2023, 2024,” early 2024. She’s like, “You sound like a completely different person, like it doesn’t even sound like you.” And I was like, “Really? That’s so weird.” And she was like, “Yeah, like you’re… The joy, you’re way more excited, like you sound alive.” And she kept saying, “Go back and listen. Go back and listen.” So I scrolled back and I saw, like the last time we had messaged, like 2023, I think it was, October, and I couldn’t listen. I just was like, “I don’t wanna revisit her.” Like I, I looked at the message for a long time. I could see it, you know? And I just couldn’t hit play. I was like, “I’m just gonna let her rest,” you know? Yeah. It was interesting. Yeah, that’s interesting and, and profound really. It’s Yeah, yeah. like you’ve moved on from that person all the way. Yeah, yeah. And I just didn’t wanna like… It felt like digging up a grave, you know? It felt like, like a, I don’t know, like a betrayal. Like just let her be. So yeah, it was kinda interesting. Okay, this, this one may be a long answer, so Oh. ready? Need opposed to the other ones where I feel like I’ve talked. Okay. Okay. Okay, so, um- Tell us the moment that you realized it was time to leave in your marriage, your Yeah. Um, I think that in my marriage, I was very depleted, and I think I tried really hard. When I look back, and I don’t recognize this as much now, but I remember at the time, and even maybe like a year after I lived in my own apartment, if someone said, “Describe your marriage, give me one word-” It would have been frustrating and, like, frustrating. Like, it was very frustrating. It probably was for him, too. So again, I’m just gonna reiterate that this isn’t anything… This isn’t about him. This is about me. It was very frustrating, and I think that I had a moment when I… I’m gonna say something very strange, I think., I hired somebody to hypnotize me because some of the feedback that I would get online felt really crushing in a weird way, and people would comment on my clothes or my big glasses or whatever, but it felt very deeply injured me. And I was like, “What is that?” Now, if I had been in, , an incredible relationship where I felt, , supported and loved, like, maybe it wouldn’t have, but it did. And it got to the point where I remember one day I was laying on the floor in my home office, and I was like, “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” Now, I started the Navigate method when I was still married, so that’s something we can talk about. But I, I was laying on the floor, and I was like, “I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” Like, this feels like such important work to me, but I… And was given to me, which we can talk about that. And so, “But I don’t know if I can do it.” And so a friend of mine was like, “You need to hire this guy, Joseph Cloth.” He and I were in a coaching group together, and she was like, “You should hire Joseph.” And I was like, “Oh yeah, I should.” So I reached out. It, it wasn’t cheap. I mean, it was thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars to be hypnotized so that I could get rid of feeling awful when people commented. But we had to get to, like, the root cause, and the root cause was I am bad. Now, if somebody said to me, like, “What do you think is the root cause of your…” I would never, ever, ever had said I am bad. So he had me do this whole exercise. It took me, like, two weeks of, like, crying all night. Like, like I really sat with it. Like, what is this? And I… And, and I think because I’m a coach, I could get to, like, this deep, deep, deep root. And go back to the first story I told you. When, after my mom died and my dad started dating somebody, and when they got married, I would tell him, “This isn’t… This doesn’t feel right. Like, the things that are being said to me feel terrible. I… This isn’t good.” And he would say, “You’re misunderstanding. It- you’re wrong.” You’re misinterpreting that and, you know, stop trying to mess up my life. And I think I internalized that to, like, don’t trust yourself. You can’t rely on your own feelings. They’re not right. And, you know, uh, y- y- you’re bad. And so w- he hypnotized me, and I came out of that hypnosis with clarity, like, “Oh, I’m not bad.” And I… That means that I deserve good things and good people around me that love me. And, uh, and I, and, and it shifted. I n- I, I don’t g- give a rat’s ass about what anybody says online in the weirdest way. In fact, I love it. I’m like, “Well, that making you feel something, and that’s good.” You know? Um, but I think that was a big part in my shift of, like, what is it that I deserve? And that’s something that we work on in the Navigate method. Like, what is it that I deserve? Is it true that this is what I deserve? You know? And, and I’m gonna keep saying this just because I feel like it’s so important, my former husband deserved different than he had with me. It wasn’t the right match. Do y- do you know what I mean? And so, um, when I got that, I think that was a huge piece of my clarity. But again, it’s layers. You know what I mean? Like, you gotta, like, do the work and look at the stuff and, like, unpack it all. That’s good. Yeah. I have not yet been hypnotized. That’s why I wore my non-black glasses today because can’t handle the negativity. I think it’s funny. And then it’s funny ’cause people will be like, “I hate your glasses. I love your glasses.” And then sometimes they’re like, “Why do you dress in such big clothes?” That’s a big one I get. “Why are you dressed in such baggy clothes? You’re so little. Why are you in such big clothes?” I’m like, “‘Cause I don’t want you looking at my body.” how people feel like they can say whatever they wanna say. It’s so terrible. Like, It’s funny ’cause they, I don’t think they’d say it in real life, you know? But- they probably don’t. It’s all Yeah a screen and on a keyboard. Keyboard it, it makes it way more obvious if somebody loves my glasses and says, “Where’d you get those?” And somebody hates them, then it’s not the glasses. It’s the person that’s viewing the glasses. so true. Yes. So I just go, “Oh, whatever. I ain’t bad.” I actually was like, “Let me do these today,” because Yeah. no one will say, “Why sh- why are they both wearing black glasses?” Wait. Hey, I know. Freaking damn big g- black glasses, yeah. That one’s funny okay. Um, okay, so… Oh, okay, so you’ve… This is kind of an all-encompassing. So you’ve built a business, a podcast, a method, a book deal. Yeah. is the thing that you’re quietly most proud of that no one knows about? Um, so I will say, let’s see. And the book, let’s just comment on the book ’cause someone will be like, “She has a book?” Years ago, years and years ago, I wrote a book, but this isn’t the book that we’re talking about now. So we’re in the process of writing a book. I have an agent, and we’re writing a book., And we’ll know more about that around Christmastime, but it’ll be out next year. , So what is the thing that I’m most proud of that nobody knows about? Mm-hmm. I think my ability to be open to new ideas. I got divorced from my second husband, ’cause I’m very chic. Just a reminder, I’m very chic and I’m not afraid of change. , But I got divorced, you know, from my son’s dad, and we remained really good friends. And years and years later, I asked Oliver, I said, “Have you ever heard me say anything bad about Dad?” And he said, “No. Why would you?” And that made me so proud, because he was like, “Why would you say anything bad?” ‘Cause he had never, ever heard me say anything bad. And you know what? I love his dad. I love his dad. His dad is part of him, and I’m really proud of the relationship that we have. Is it perfect? No. Do I wish parts of it were different, especially over the past few years? Yeah, absolutely. But we have really been good partners and good co-parents in the best way that we could, and I think that’s because, uh, of him as well as because I am open and not afraid of being wrong. And when I say wrong, like, I’m not afraid of, of being like, “Okay, maybe that wasn’t right. Maybe I didn’t handle that right. Maybe I c- … I’m open to hearing other people’s experience of me and taking that into account and apologizing where I need to.” So I’ve always been really proud of that. When Oliver was little, we did holidays together with his wife, and then I’ve I mean, his kids have been to my house. Like, we’ve maintained a, a f- really friendly relationship, which I’m always been really grateful for. That’s awesome. Yeah. It’s awesome for Oliver. Yes. uh, something that’s just, uh, you Yeah stress away from the child of any Yeah. whether married or, or, you know, going through a divorce or a separation, just to take that away, that stress away from the, child in that Yeah. is awesome, so… we still have every Friday, every Friday at 3:00 we have a family meeting. Now Oliver is 24, but he’s got some challenges. And so every Friday we meet and talk with him, see how his week has been, where he struggled, where we can support him. And so, you know, that’s always been like a team effort. So I think that that’s like just an important piece of my whole journey, you know? Awesome. Okay, let’s see where we’re at. , Oh, this is probably my favorite question. It’s one of the– my favorite. So I have a,, I have a question that has nothing to do with Navigate Okay. Okay. Okay. that you wish someone would ask that they never ask? , What is something I could go… I should’ve… I, you mentioned this, this question to me earlier and I thought, “Oh, how would I answer that?” And I still don’t know. I wish they would ask that they never ask. it and come back to it? Well, you know, one thing I’ll say is I think, and this goes back to one of the earlier questions, is that I think lots of times people think, and I’m not gonna be answering the question exactly, but a roundabout way. I think lots of times people think, “Well, Betsy’s fine,” because I present as fine. And I think just I’m a human like anybody else, and I think there have been challenges. I know when I moved into my apartment, I had a lot of challenges in my nervous system when I moved and lived alone, not because I didn’t like being alone, but because I was so used to scanning to manage other people’s emotions, that the lack of knowing if I was, I’m gonna use air quotes, “in trouble”. But again, remember like I had this thing from when I was young, it had nothing to do with my husband. So, uh, is that I, I, I didn’t know if I was in trouble ’cause I wasn’t around anybody. And so I… So I think the thing that I wish, not necessarily people would ask me, but I think that people could recognize, was that everything that I share is truly because I have done the work. Like, I have walked through it. Like, I have thought about it deeply, and I think that if, you know, if somebody were to ask me something, I think it would just be like something totally different from anything that we talk about. Do you know what I mean? , Like what do you, why do you love the ocean so much? I, I’m gonna cry. Like, why do you love the ocean so much? Like, I think … Well, that’s weird. That’s gonna make me cry, Joy. We’ll, we’ll cut that out. Um think you should cut it out. By the way, I’m I mean, your audience already knows you’re looking to move to the Yeah. proud of you for making that decision and doing that. It’s so brave of you. And, Yeah. um, you clearly, you clearly love it so much that it’s emotional for you. So I’m Yeah. for you to do that. And I think that, like, for a long time the ocean was, like … When I thought about the beach, and if people have listened to the podcast forever,, That– I, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you tear up, so I, I think Yeah. something you shouldn’t cut out because it’s real Yeah. Yeah. I, I’m so happy for you because, um, like you said the other day, you know, we were talking with, um, a group of women that, that were s- that was saying like, “Uh, just wish I could get on the other side of this. Like, I wish I could take out all of the middle ground, the hard stuff.” Yeah. you said something so profound, which was, you know, that’s going to be the stuff that makes you that next person. That– Going through that is going to yield, you know, the, the person that you’re growing to be. So sometimes you just have to go through those hard things first. It’s like getting forged, you know? It’s like pottery, is like you mold it and then you stick it in the fire, and it’s the fire that makes it so beautiful. And so yeah, I think that trying to cut out the middle or t- not trying to go through the hard stuff, I think, like you don’t have to know what it’s gonna be like to get… Like, how long is it gonna be? How bad is it gonna be? You don’t have to know. All you have to know is today. All you have to know is, like, this moment. Can I handle this moment? Okay, I’m good. I’m good. What about this moment? Okay, I’m good. Like, I think we get so far ahead of ourselves, but it’s such important work to, like, move through. And, you know, I could go into the whole woo-woo, which I love to do, , i- which is like y- you know, you were meant to come here and go through this. You were meant to, like, have this experience. And, you know, I have a belief that… And other people can believe differently, but I think,, if I hadn’t gone through this, like, thing where I, I believe leaving my former husband this last time, becoming the person that I needed to become, and then leaving, was my life’s journey. I know that sounds so weird, but, like, that was a huge part of my life’s journey, and I think, I think, I would have come back in some other reincarnation and had to do it again. And now I get to, like, graduate from it ’cause I freaking went through it, you know? And I was… And we always say in the program, with bravery and integrity. Like, how do we move forward things with bravery and integrity? And I feel like I was able to do that. Did I do everything perfect? No, but I tried really hard to be in integrity with, with… And clear, you know, in, in what I wanted. Yeah. this question. What’s Okay. favorite movie? Okay, so my favorite movie ever, when you first w- asked me this question, like when you mentioned it yesterday, I think, um, I al- I loved Elizabethtown years ago. I have ADHD. it. Yeah, it’s really good. But, but I have, like, ADHD, so, like, I don’t remem- if you told me to tell you what Elizabethtown was about, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I, I’ll leave a m- a movie and I’ll be like, “That was so good.” And then outside the theater someone could be like, “Tell me about it,” and I’ll be like, “I don’t know, but I was entertained.” You know? So, uh, so but I will say my favorite movie ever, and I could tell you all about it, is Everything Everywhere All at Once. And when I… I’ve seen this movie like three different times. Every time I’ve seen it I wanted so badly to talk to somebody about it, like, in depth. Like, everybody in my life, I was like, “You know, you need to see that movie. Can we talk about it?” But it is a movie about the, like, the unis- universe, like collective consciousness, basically. And you get to see every piece of your life all at once as if you had made every decision differently than you did, and you, in the end, still recognize that this life matters, that this, where you ended up, was exactly right. Even with all the other metaverses in the world that could’ve happened, where you are is exactly right. And there’s also a greater story about a mother and a daughter, and it’s about her having, the mother having to see the daughter in every other universe to see all the sides of her before she could really love her in this one. And I just think it’s so profound. It’s such a good, it’s such a good movie. And, like, it’s the kind of movie you watch it once and you’re like, “What the fuck just happened to me?” And then you gotta watch it again and, like, every time I’m on a airplane I’m like, “Oh, let me see if they have it on there.” It’s so good. You know what else was a really good movie? And I’ve watched it twice, and the second time it didn’t hit the same time as the first time. But it was called, um, Nine Days, I think it was called. And it was about these souls that are auditioning to get to have a life, and they want it so bad. Oh. Oh, wow. and it’s, it makes you go, “Oh my God, I’m so lucky to be here.” Like, I’m, this is so fucking cool that I get to be here. And hard stuff. They want hard stuff. Like, they don’t just want fun, great stuff. Like, they want the hard stuff, too. Like, it is the range of emotion that is, like, the biggest gift that we have, and I think we- Try and stay so far away from anything that feels, like, uncomfortable or bad, but it’s part of the gift, ’cause when you do that, then, m- you know, like I cry thinking about going to the beach. Like, I can’t even say it because I g- had the fucking bad, and now I get to have the good, and I can’t even stand it, I’m so excited. It’s happy tears. But I think we move away from hard, and, and I see this in the program too, and I get it. Of like, I don’t wanna go through this, it’s gonna be hard. And I say like, “Let it be. What’s gonna happen on the other end?” Like, what if it ends up great? Like, I have this sign in my bathroom, and it’s in my bathroom only because, um, I see it every day, but sometimes on the internet people are like, “Why is that in your bathroom?” But it says, um, what if it’s great? What if it’s great? Like, we are really good at catastrophizing, being like, “This is terrible. My kids are gonna suffer.” Like, well, what if it’s great? What if your kids get to see you do something totally different? What if they get to see a whole new side of you? What if they get to experience you in real love or their dad having real lo- like, what if it’s great? I just, I, like, let’s spend as much time there, you know? Yep. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. So I just realized by your movies that I, um, may need to try some different movies out, ’cause I was thinking about Steel Magnolias, Parenthood, and yeah. Yeah, totally. You need to watch Everything Everywhere All at Once. Yeah. think, well, I’ve r- Is that a book? ‘Cause I think I might have read the book. Oh, I know. yeah. But it’s a movie, like Jamie Lee Curtis is in it, and it’s really good. Yeah, watch that for I sure. Yeah. Okay. Well, we’re, we’re getting to the bottom of these questions. You’ve done a great job. Uh, let’s Okay. I have one. Um, so are you open to dating? Oh, no. Why? I know, that was so fast, wasn’t it? Okay, so let’s tell the story about, like, the… Okay, so I wanna say this. I feel whole and complete, and I would w- and I, I’m gonna make sure I’m not telling myself a lie. I feel whole and complete. I don’t feel like I’m missing anybody. The idea of having somebody and finally having someone in my life that actually likes me, like, I don’t feel like I don’t, I don’t feel like I have been in relationships in the past where people even liked me. So, the idea of having somebody like me, that actually would feel really good to have somebody like me. , I think I have had to fight my own ageism and really look at that from my own perspective. When I look outside of myself, I see women in their 50s and 60s that are beautiful, and I think absolutely they deserve love. And then when I look at myself, I immediately go, “She’s too old. I’m too old. Nobody’s gonna wanna date me at 55.” Like, I’m, I have gray hair. I… Do you know what I mean? Like, I do the, a little of that. So with that said, it would have to be a… I am s- I have such a filter now. , I s- smell, like, red flags. , It would have to really be someone that’s really spectacular. If you ever hear, if anybody listening ever hears of me dating, just know that they are, like, the freaking bomb. And I have joked that I would only date somebody if they had a yacht, which was very safe here in Atlanta ’cause nobody has a yacht. But now I’m going to the beach, so I feel like my v- my v- Venn diagram of overlap could be different. So with that said, I think that, yeah, I think it would have to be somebody great. There was one day that Joy and I were talking and w- I was like, “We’re gonna… I’m gonna get on a dating app.” And I had applied for, um, Raya, which is like which is, , for celebrities basically. But I was like, “I have enough followers. I think I could get into Raya.” But I didn’t. I- they put me on a wait list. And so then I was like, “Well, it could be my age. It could also be my content.” Do you know what I mean? Like, my content is gonna fil- filter out a, a lot of guys that wouldn’t be the right match, and so I feel grateful for that. So what did I get on? , I don’t– Was it? Hinge. It I got on Hinge. Oh, okay. Yeah. I lasted 24 hours, Mm-hmm. I asked for my money back and got it. It was a I got… 24 It was a whirlwind 24 hours. I was just disgusted by every freaking question. I, the… Men tried to introduce intimacy so quickly, and I am, like, I have a super filter for that. , Oh my God, was that funny or what? oh my God. hours, but it was s- I mean, I, I’m, I don’t mean to say it was funny, but It was funny, yeah. Betsy called me, she’s like, “I’m out, I’m off of it.” Yeah. joined it.” It was like, I joined it that night, and I was like, I think I had a glass of wine, and I was like, “I’m gonna do it.” And then by the next morning, I was like, “Screw this.” And somebody asked me out, and I said yes, and I liked that they were decisive. They were like, “Meet me here.” And then when I said, “I can’t do that on a Friday at lunch. , I run a company. Like, I don’t know what you think I’m doing.” And they wanted me to drive 40 minutes to meet them for lunch at like a cafeteria. And, and, and they were like, “I don’t know. The app says it’s 20.” And so I was like, “Oh, are you calling me a freaking liar? Are you try-,” like, I… And I got in the shower, and I was angry because some man was telling me what to do or telling me who I was, and I was like, “Oh, I’m not… This isn’t for me., I’m just not there yet.” And I, I don’t, I don’t know that there’s more evolving that I have to do, but I definitely think I need to, um, I wanna say like relax a little bit, but also, no. , I sensed that as like a… There was a rhetorical pattern there, right? Of like, “You don’t know what you’re saying. I know the truth, and you can- you’re gonna do what I say,” even though he didn’t say it in that way. That’s the… , and he gave this emoji of the what? I don’t know. You know, like, huh? my God, wow. And so I just was like, “I’m not doing that. I’m not… I am not ever playing that out with somebody else,” of like, “You know better than me.” I know m- the most about my life than anybody else. Like, I know me, and, and I know that’s too far for me to drive because I do important things too, buddy. But I was so… I, I mean, you can even hear it in my voice now. , I just… So no, I’m not dating ’cause I don’t want to. like a quick answer, a quick Yeah. tell you that’s probably the right answer. I was on a podcast recently, an, an interview. It’s not live yet. But she asked me like what d- what’s dating like, and I was like, I, I, I was almost confused by the question ’cause I was like, well, I… And I was like, I, I, I don’t know. I, yeah, I j- I was like, “I don’t know.” Like, I don’t know. I don’t know. Ask somebody else, not me. I have an a- amazing life, and to fit somebody else into that life… And you know, I’m moving to the beach, and I’m going down next weekend to look for my apartment, and I decided I’m gonna rent for a little while till I figure it out. The people who have come out of the woodwork to be kind to me, to… And, and actually, when people are listening to this, I’m probably on a airplane. So have come out of the woodwork to be kind to me, to offer to bring me out. You know, my birthday, I’m gonna be there on my birthday. There’s people bringing me out on my birthday that I don’t know, that know me from the internet, you know? Um, it- that ha- offered to help me find pla- that videotaped, like- These, this is one place you’d might really like at the beach. And, , took so much time to help me. I- it was a lesson in, like, you deserve to have people be kind to you. It’s okay to let people help you. , It was a moment, you know, where I was like, “Okay, this is a lesson in, , let people love you,” you know? And so maybe I’ll get there, and this is, like, the first piece, you know? That’s awesome. I’m excited for you. And, too. you I’m excited for you to come down and visit. least expect it. I’m talking about if there’s Yeah. a, you know, Yeah. partner in your future, it will yeah. least And like, it, I think. yeah. And like I’m, I’m g- I think I, I am a great partner. Like, I think I’m a really good partner, so I just gotta find the really good partner to partner with that. , I’m not afraid to have hard conversations. I listen. I’m a- available for new ideas. I like to try new things., I will do the things you’re into, but, like, I need the reciprocal, you know? So I will wait until I find that. Also, the yacht. Awesome. Yes. Got that. Well, we’ve gone through, um, a lot of these. Yeah. And we’ve been talking for an hour, which we could talk for two hours. It’s fine. But, I know. yeah. Are we done with all the questions? There’s one more, , it’s if the podcast ended tomorrow and you never coached another woman, would you feel like you did what you came here to do? Oh, you know what’s so weird is even when you said that, I was like, “No.” Like, I, like this is such, like, my purpose. I don’t know that I’ll ever not do it. Do you know, like, sometimes I think about retiring. My sister just retired, and I’m like, “I can’t imagine not doing this.” , It’s just so much of how I think and who I am. , Okay, so wait, what’s the question? If I ever don’t do it, then If, is. To do? I came here to do. Yeah. Years ago, I had this mentor when I lived out in the suburbs, and I had this mentor in my life who, you know, would give all these examples of things he had done or worked with people on or… You know, when we were working together, he would say, like, “I had this client once who…” And I remember saying to him, like, “You’ve, uh, I can’t imagine, like, having such a big impact on everybody. , you’ve had such a big impact.” And he said, “Yeah, if I died tomorrow, I know I would have given more than I took, and that feels good to me.” I, I think that only recently, like maybe in the last year, have I started to recognize Mostly because women on the internet are so incredibly kind to me. But only recently have I started to realize how much of an impact even just the podcast has made, or those videos that I do on Instagram. A- and I wanna mention something about that. But those videos, I think, , people are so kind to tell me how much that impacted them and changed their life, and changed how they thought about themselves. And so I think I could safely say that I’ve given more than I’ve taken, and, and I don’t know that it needs to be that way. I don’t need to give more than I get. That, I’m open to that being more of both. D- does that make sense? , Mm-hmm. like, I, I am open to receiving, and I think maybe for a long time I wasn’t. We talked about this in the group the other day of like, how open are you to receive, and to receive help, and to receive? And I think that I was closed for a long time ’cause I had to be so hyper independent. But anyway, so I would say yes, I, I think I’ve done what I came here to do, and I wanna keep doing it ’cause I think there’s more. Yeah. That’s a great ending. I think you are a phenomenal asset to women. I think that watching and working with you and watching you do what you do Yeah. it’s amazing. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I’m grateful to do it, and I’m grateful that you were able to help me today with all these questions. Yeah, we Thanks, Joy. Our first it. official podcast. May th- may there be more. Thanks so much, Joy. You’re welcome. Have a great day. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

Welcome to the Video Store Podcast.As the 1960s rolled into the 1970s, something changed in Hollywood. Movies got bigger. Louder. More chaotic. And sometimes… they were a total disaster, in the best way possible.These were practical, physical, dangerous productions, massive sets, real stunts, and ensemble casts packed with stars who weren't guaranteed to make it to the end.The disaster movie wasn't born in the '70s but it peaked there. Airplanes in crisis, cities collapsing, ships overturning, skyscrapers burning. This week, my picks come from the golden age of disaster movies as we look at four of my favorite disaster movies that still hold up, and that showcase exactly why the 1970s did the disaster movies better than anyone else ever has.Airport (1970)Set over one snowbound night at a busy Chicago airport, Airport weaves together multiple storylines, an overworked airport manager, a conflicted pilot, strained relationships, and a desperate man with a dangerous plan. The tension builds gradually, before the larger stakes take hold.What makes Airport work so well is it's scale. Burt Lancaster, Dean Martin, George Kennedy, Jean Seberg, Helen Hayes, the cast is stacked with faces you may not know by name, but absolutely recognize. The movie treats its ensemble seriously, letting each storyline unfold without feeling forced.It was a massive hit, one of the earliest true “blockbusters,” and set the template the entire decade would follow: big casts, grounded storytelling, and high-stakes tension. Earthquake (1974)Earthquake promised exactly what it delivered: the complete destruction of Los Angeles.Centered in Los Angeles, the film introduces a wide range of characters, before unleashing a catastrophic quake that tears the city apart. Once it hits, the movie becomes pure spectacle: collapsing buildings, massive destruction, and survival stories unfolding in real time.At the center is Charlton Heston, bringing his signature intensity to a man caught between personal turmoil and unfolding disaster. Around him is a deep ensemble cast, including familiar faces like George Kennedy, Lorne Green and Ava Gardner.Earthquake was create as an event, not just it a movie, it was a physical experience. The filmmakers pioneered the shaker mount camera system to simulate realistic movement, and introduced Sensurround, blasting sub-audible bass through giant speakers so powerful they made seats (and sometimes ceiling tiles) vibrate.The stunt work is amazing: real falls, real debris, real crashes. In the midst of all the destruction, the personal stories carry real weight, making the survival (or loss) of characters more emotional than expected. It's pure disaster chaos.The Poseidon Adventure (1972)Set aboard a luxury ocean liner on New Year's Eve, the movie quickly turns into a survival story when a rogue wave capsizes the ship. The survivors must navigate an upside-down world, climbing their way through the wreckage in hopes of escape.Led by Gene Hackman as a determined and unconventional preacher, the movie leans heavily into character dynamics. Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Shelley Winters, Jack Albertson, it's another stacked cast, but no one is safe simply because they're famous. Relationships evolve, tensions flare, and every character has a purpose. The writing gives each person a distinct arc, making the journey feel and survival feel important. Add in a powerful score by John Williams, and you get one of the best disaster movies ever made.The Towering Inferno (1974)Set in the world's tallest skyscraper during its grand opening, The Towering Inferno follows what happens when overlooked safety shortcuts turn into a full-scale catastrophe. The film is powered by two Hollywood titans: Steve McQueen and Paul Newman. Their dynamicm, one a no-nonsense fire chief, the other the building's architect, gives the film a strong emotional core amid the chaos.The practical effects and stunt work are relentless: real fire, real smoke, real danger. You can feel the heat.It's also one of the best examples of the genre's ensemble storytelling—multiple perspectives, intersecting arcs, and constant tension. And once again, John Williams' score gives you a movie that is epic and intense.These movies hold up today because of the disaster but also the story telling.They take their time. They let you meet the characters, understand their relationships, and invest in their outcomes. So when disaster strikes, it actually matters. And there's no guarantee of survival, not even for the biggest stars.Long before the term “blockbuster” became standard (thanks to Jaws), these films were already defining what that meant.No matter which of these you choose, you're guaranteed a movie night that's anything but a disaster.Until next time — be kind, rewind.Thanks for reading Video Store Podcast! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.videostorepodcast.com

Do you remember the ‘choose your own adventure’ books? In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy explores the idea of living out our choices in life just like the books we remember from childhood. What if we decided to go to an Early Bird Dance Party? What if we moved to the place we always dreamed of living? What if you only thought about those things but never acted on them? If you have pondered an idea over time and need a little nudge, this will be it! Enjoy it on a walk or a drive and be sure to join us for our Fireside Chat on April 5th and if you are close to Atlanta, come have coffee with Betsy on April 11th. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today. Okay,, I wanna tell you about the Early Bird Dance Party. Before we get started, I wanna tell you about this thing that I went to. You know, as I have talked over the past, like couple years about recreating my life as a single person in my fifties, and how I’ve found friends and the things that I have been interested in and discovered about myself and all of those things. And , like me, , you probably get most of your information from Instagram. And I got an ad that kept being shown to me for the Early Bird Dance Club and it is a. Idea that these two women had about wanting to go out and dance, but not wanting to start the night at 10:00 PM and get home at three. , They had stuff to do in the morning and so they created. These events at clubs like all over the country where you come at six and it ends at like 10, I think. So it’s like for women who want to go out but still have shit to do in the morning, I think that’s the tagline. So I had seen it and then my friend Elizabeth reached out to me and she’s like, do you wanna go to this with me? The tickets sell out really fast. So if we wanna go, we gotta get tickets. And this was like in January, and so I was like, yeah, let’s do it. So we got tickets. It was me and my friend Elizabeth, and my friend Dina. Now I’m gonna pause for one second. ’cause I wanna tell you, if you listened to my episode about how I was rebuilding my life in my fifties as a single woman, I talked about going to those time left dinners, Elizabeth. Somebody that I met at time left and then she invited me out for dinner with two of her other friends a few months later. And this woman, Dina was there. So I went out to the early bird dance party with Elizabeth and Dina. I’m, connecting the dots there. Just so you can see, and I know this sounds silly ’cause you’re probably like, I know how we make friends Betsy, but for me that. Can, that was not an obvious thing. I just thought like, I’m, I,, I don’t know how to meet people, but that’s how, so you meet, I went to a million time lefts. I met several good friends from there, and then. , They had other friends and so we all met up. So I will have Elizabeth meet my other friends and we’ll go to dinner together too, so she can meet them. So I think it, it’s like just a nice way. And I see women doing this all the time including, , we’re, we’re not in a circle, we’re in a horseshoe. Everybody’s welcome in. And so that’s who we went with. So back to the story. So Elizabeth is like, let’s go me and Dina and you will go. So you get there at six o’clock, you get there at six o’clock, you dance your little heart out, and we ended up leaving at eight 30. Dina had to get up really early in the morning on Saturday, and Elizabeth I think was heading off on a trip , out of state or out of the country. She travels a lot, so. We went. I mean, I gotta tell you, we got there right at six. We were the first ones on the dance floor. ’cause we basically just walked in and walked right to the dance floor. The songs in the beginning, I’m gonna be honest, weren’t the best. Like they had a work in nine to five when it hit the work in nine to five. I was like, okay, , we gotta, we can, do better. We can do better. That’s a good, it’s a banger, but it not. Really what I want for my dance party. Disco balls are going, you know what I mean? All the lights and it really did get better, but it was a lot of like nineties music. The place was packed., It was women only, so it was just like packed with girlfriends having fun. , It was just so fun and so nice. And then it was so fun. But we were all pooped and everybody had to stuff to do in the morning. We left at eight 30. We got outside. I was like, first of all. I’m really proud of everyone’s knees in there because people were doing the low, low, low, low, you know, apple bottom jeans and the boots. I was like, how are people getting so low? ’cause my knees, I just will not. And then when we left, Dina was like, oh my God, it’s still light out. It was still light out, but it was really so fun. So if you have a chance to go to the early bird dance party, go to that. It’s really fun. And just like a cool thing, , if you haven’t seen my Instagram stories, we are having a coffee. In a bunch of different locations, live coffees where you can come meet me for coffee. It’s less about meeting me and more about meeting other people in your community, right? So like other women that follow me or whatever, , have come across the page and want to come and meet and make friends. So we’re doing them in Atlanta. It’s April 11th in Atlanta, and. On my website, there’s gonna be a link that says coffees, and then there’ll be a dropdown with all the different locations. I, Atlanta is up there. Now the other ones are being put up as we get the date, but it’s gonna be Atlanta, San Diego, New York City, Nashville, London, and I think there was one other place. Maybe that’s it. We’re thinking, I know I get a lot of requests for Chicago, , and maybe we’ll do something in South Florida. So just a way to be able to get together, grab a coffee, come and meet people, and then you have meeting people in your community. You know what I mean? Which I think is so fun. So be on the lookout for the coffee and community events. And then of course our fireside chat is live this month and it’s on the website. You can get to it. On the menu we’ll have it put like events so we can have all of that underneath. ’cause I don’t want you guys to get confused. But the fireside chat is virtual. It’s on Zoom and it’s on Easter. It’s at night on Easter. So I get it. If you can’t, if you got family stuff, but you might have family stuff in the morning, and then by 7:00 PM Eastern, you’re done with family and you wanna come join me or you don’t have any family stuff going on, and then you have a chance to come and do something and be with other people. You know that also are free at 7:00 PM Eastern. So that is just like a non-scripted, not recorded zoom time for everybody to get together and just have community no matter where you are. So those are some of the events that you could come and join me, which I would love. Okay, so now I have a story and I’m gonna tell you this story. With a caveat. And the caveat is the same caveat that I tell women in the Navigate method, which is everything is written in pencil. Like we get to change our minds, we get to shift, we get to learn more information, we get to go back, go forward, whatever it is that we need. Okay. So as we move forward in the months ahead, I want you to keep that in mind because it’s. A little risky that I’m telling you this, but it’s also true and it feels really true. And so I wanna tell you this weekend I was. Free most of the weekend I had my dance party, and then Saturday I ran errands. And then Sunday was just meant to be like a rest day. And on Saturday morning I was making my coffee. And I do this thing that I do, which is I make my coffee and if I don’t have a message from a friend, lots of times I have two girlfriends that I. Voice memo with. And if I don’t have a voice memo to listen to, I call it my morning podcast. I pretend I have a roommate and I listen. , But if I don’t have one of those, then what I do is I talk as if I’m standing in the kitchen of my beach house and I’m talking to some friends who have come to visit and they’re planning their day. And I’m asking what the beach plans are for the day. I’m letting them know if they walk right out the back door on the beach and they take a left, there’s a volleyball tournament. , Sometimes I let them know that I get done at three. If they wanna meet up for cocktails, I’ll have cocktails. Sometimes I say , I’m gonna have Chef Greg come. I know, I know. This is crazy. I’m gonna have Chef Greg come. At six. So you guys have your whole day at the beach, and then if you wanna come home and shower and then just be ready, chef Greg’s gonna make sushi or whatever. I decide the meal is gonna be okay. So I’ve been doing this for months, months, talking about my beach house and welcoming my friends. It’s the most fun, like it puts me in the best mood like it. I just love it. Now, if you’re fairly new here, you might not know for the past, , 40 years, I have wanted to move to the beach. Why don’t I live at the beach? Well, there was always a lot of reasons and , I, my daughter was here, she was growing up, she, her dad lives here and I was married to my former husband who is an attorney and he’s licensed in Georgia. So then we thought about moving to the coast of Georgia, but that’s not really the beach I had in mind. Like so many things. It just never was the right timing. And , there was a time. When I very first left my marriage where I thought, I don’t wanna move to the beach. , That’s not what I want. I think it was just the beach was the place where I felt relief from my marriage, like when I felt relief from all this. And so I thought, , I have relief now because I’ve, left and I don’t really need the beach. But as I healed and, my nervous system started regulating and I really started to feel more like myself again. , I used to have this joy that I have now, but I used to have this real joy and like zest about life. And, , 20 years ago, let’s say, I, I, really, I loved a lot of things and I, was. A lot more charismatic than I was when I was married. I think I just got very, very small and I started to lose touch with what I really wanted. Now, that’s not his fault, that’s my fault. I, that was my reaction to things that were happening, and so I thought, well, maybe I don’t really wanna move to the beach. Maybe the beach was just my vision that I needed to have to escape where I was. And over the last few months as I have been rehearsing. Owning a beach house. I started thinking about why I am where I am, and I started to think about those books that we had as kids that were the Choose your Own Adventure books. I loved those books, and you could have a million different stories, , you could choose. A, B, C, or D as the path. Or you could choose A, D, B, C, or you could choose A, C, B., Like every, you could make a million different pathways. And I started thinking about our lives and every time we make a choice, a whole new A, B, C, or D shows up. Then we make, we choose A, and then a whole different A, B, C, or D shows up and then we choose C, and it’s a whole different A, B or C or D that shows up and the path could be played out a million gillion, different ways. And I started thinking about my choose your own adventure and from a spiritual perspective, would I redo this? If I could, and I’m, not talking about regret. And that’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t believe there’s any right or wrong. Not in my story, not in yours, but I believe there is adventures. And if I were to do it again is, are those all the adventures that I really wanted? Now what I mean by that is are they the adventures that I would choose or were the they, the adventures that were the default. There’s nothing I can do about the adventures that I had, but now here I am. I’m in year two of a lease of my apartment, which means I am free. I’m free. I can do whatever I want. I can make whatever choices I want, and I don’t hate it here. I actually really like Atlanta. I’ve grown to really love Atlanta, especially over the past year. I have friends here in community, I’m volunteering places. , Doing things, it’s like greatest thing to be right near a big airport, like all these things. But am I, is it just that this is the default? Is it just that this is the adventure that’s right in front of me and if I zoomed way forward to being 90 years old, is that the adventure that I would be happy I took? Or would there be an adventure? I wish I had sought out and I thought to myself, I will always be disappointed in myself if I never live at the beach. Always, always, always. It might not work out. I’ll tell you, there’s a million reasons even now where I’m like, oh no, I can’t go. It’s so expensive. It’s a lot more expensive. Taxes are bad. I could, , I don’t wanna live in Florida, like for whatever reasons I have, right? North Carolina, my body has a negative reaction to even saying the name of the state. , I don’t want, like, what is it that, where is it that I could actually go, , one of my girlfriends has been begging me to move to. Connecticut where she lives and she’s like, there’s beaches here, but it’s not, I’m not standing in my kitchen with my friends visiting . I mean, the vision I have is like the strand in California, you know? Now you might do what my brain just did, which was like, that’s expense. Where do you think you’re gonna have $12 million to get a house on the strand? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know, like how do I know, how would I ever know if I’m here in Atlanta? How would I, how would I ever know? And , I don’t think there’s a whole lot of instances, even the people that have those $10 million homes on the Strand or in California in general. I don’t know that any of them came from someplace else and just bought that. Like they probably lived there. They lived in other houses that were smaller and moved up and. I don’t know so the ridiculousness of my reasons why started to become really apparent as I framed it , if I was choosing my adventures, what would I choose? And the adventure I’m on right now is not bad. In fact, it’s good, but I don’t wanna miss the adventure. I wanna choose because this is good enough. . This is not how I’m building my life from here. This isn’t what I’m doing. And is it scary af to think about moving? Yeah, I’m like about to be 55. I’m gonna be 55 in another month, so I’m gonna be 55 moving to someplace where I don’t know anybody. But you know what? The people I hang out with now, I didn’t know a year ago. I have Dean Martin now. My cat, like a lot of things can happen. And so I started thinking, okay, what if all of the big reasons that come in my brain, . This weekend, I couldn’t even think about it. Like the idea of, well, I, tried, I got, I helped with chat GBT and I was like, we were trying to find a beach community that I would like. We went through every freaking town in Florida, back and forth, back and forth. I like the taxes in Florida, but , we went , all over the place. . , I’d been a lot of places in Florida. My dad used to live in Florida for 25, 30 years. I just, , I know what I don’t want ’cause I feel it in my body. I don’t have to understand why. And finally I asked my body like, is it Florida? And it was like, no. My brain logically was like, yeah it is. It’s so close you could drive home. And then I thought, well what if I just go to. Georgia. I live in a state that has coastal communities, and I looked at that. I felt my body, my body was like, Nope, that’s not the adventure. When I’m 90 years old and I look back at the adventure, the, version of me that goes to Georgia Coast or goes to Florida is the version of me that’s, copping out, that isn’t taking the full plunge. Even as I say this, I’m like, oh my God, what if I decide not to go? If I decide not to go, it’s ’cause it’s a full body. No, but when I got real with it, I was like, you know what? I really do wanna go, I’m scared as all get out, moving all the way across the country, all by myself, but there’s no other path. I have to do it. And I have to do it because this is what. I’ve been rehearsing and this is what feels like the next right step. Now we don’t have to know. I don’t have to know what I’m gonna do in 10 months. Like I don’t have to know. I just have to know what the next right step is. This is the entire pathway that I teach people inside the Navigate method. And if I don’t do it, ’cause I’m scared, what kind of leader am I? And so I pulled up my lease. To see if I could break the lease. I can. It’s like a couple grand Whoopy do. And so now I can, I have two options. My lease, I’ve got until February. I mean I have almost, , 10 months. It’s the middle of February. So , I’d probably wanna move now. So this is what my brain, the gymnastics that I do. Okay. I’m thinking about my year. My year is pretty scheduled out. I have a lot of things planned and I’m going to London in November, the end of November into December for a week. And flying from California to London doesn’t sound fun to me. I’m like, oh my God, that’s a way longer trip. And so I thought maybe I’ll just stay. Until the London trip, ’cause the summer’s gonna go fast and then we’ll be into the holidays. It’s all gonna go really fast, so I need to be planning now. And then I thought, well then it’s Christmas time and then my lease is up. So why don’t I just get all my ducks in a row and get a plan together? If I get the feeling again, I’m going off of the feeling of my body that I need to go. It may be June and I’m like, I gotta skedaddle. Then I will. Then I will. And right now I’m still feeling it out. I’m two days in y’all. I’m two days into this realization that I, this is something that I need to, an adventure that I need to have. So do I bring all my stuff? Do I give away stuff and buy new stuff when I get there? Do I get a furnished apartment? What does it look like? I don’t know. It will unfold the next right step and the next right step. In the meantime, there’s a couple things I wanna get done. My car is almost paid off. I wanna pay my car off. ’cause that’s gonna save me a ton of money. Right. I’m being responsible in the decision making and , I’ve talked to my family, they’re all on board. My sister is moving to France. My dad was totally on board with it. Of course. I mean, what’s he, , he’s never stood in my way of anything and even my kid. Was like, I think you should move to the beach, but if you do, it should be California. ’cause that’s where you’ve always wanted to go. And I thought, you’re absolutely right. And so . I’m gonna be in San Diego in May and I’m gonna check things out. , I have friends that live in la, I have friends that live in Orange County. I’m gonna map out my next, the next right step, the next right thing, right in front of me now. The thing I wanna point out is that I think that we assume indecision and I had been in indecision, , do I go to the beach or not? What do I do? Blah, blah, blah. I think we assume that means we don’t have enough information. If we did some more research, a little more thought about it, like we’d finally be clear. But I’ve been talking on this podcast about going to the beach for 10 years. Now, I wanna say again, I had real logistical reasons why there, it, wasn’t a choice that I was gonna make to leave. I was clear on my choice to not go to the beach at that time. And, last year I really needed to do a lot of healing and this apartment in Atlanta was the best place to do it. And it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me a lot about what I was capable of. And it taught me that. I can build and create a life wherever and whenever I want. And so I think when we think indecision means we don’t have enough information. What’s, actually happening is we’re trying to find a version of that decision that doesn’t cost us anything. I was trying to , I didn’t wanna go to California ’cause it was so far. And so then I was looking all over Florida and then I was like, yeah, but then I’d have to drive and this is a long drive and if I’m gonna fly and how long I was trying to figure out a version of my decision that didn’t cost me anything. And, every real decision is gonna cost you something. Not money necessarily, although it’s gonna cost, it’s gonna cost me money. It’s not just logistics. It’s not just like energetically what I’m gonna have to put out to make it happen, but it costs you your other life. If I stay, I lose that version of me that gets to live by the ocean. , I’m not, I can’t do that. And if I go. I lose this really good life that I’ve started to build here. And so instead of choosing, what happens is we hover, we research, we make pros and cons lists. We, ask everybody we know. I mean, everybody I know that lives in California, where do you live? Where do, blah, right but what we’re really doing is delaying the moment where we have to let one version go and., What I’ve started to see is I don’t need more clarity. I have been rehearsing this moment., We talk about vision boards and manifesting like my nervous system is acclimated for this new reality. So I need to decide which life I’m willing to live knowing that there’s no right and there’s no wrong if I chose to stay, not at a default. But if I choose or chose to stay, I’m already saying it in past tense. So I, it’s just a choice. It’s, just which adventure you’re choosing. It’s not right, and it’s not wrong. It’s not wrong if I decide to stay, it’s just that I have to be willing to let go of the version of me that stands on my. Patio and explains the best spots at the beach that’s laid out in front of me, and I don’t know how that could ever, ever come true. I recognize that’s a expensive dream right there, but I don’t have to know how. I don’t have to know. That wouldn’t be, that would be a step so far down the road. The only step I need to know is this one. So I don’t need more clarity. I just need to decide which life I’m willing to live knowing that it’s not gonna be perfect. And when you think about it that way, I think you know, something changes. It’s your adventure, it’s your choose your own adventure. It’s not about making a right choice anymore, it’s about taking a decision and making a choice. I can stand behind as who I am and who I am is an adventurer. Who I am is somebody that’s going to take this life and eat it all up. I’m not gonna be the kind of woman who in her old age says, I really just wish I had tried that. That is not me. It’s not gonna be me. It was me for a long time and it went so far against everything about. My core essence of who I am. And I bet you’re like that too. Like I bet if you’re listening and you’re feeling something about it, you’re like that too. I don’t wanna keep circling things that matter to me. I don’t wanna wake up five years from now or , one year from now, or 20 years from now, and realize that I stayed here just because it was easier to maintain. So. The question for me right now isn’t, is this the perfect decision? The question is, which version of my life do I respect myself the most for choosing? I don’t have to have every detail figured out, but I do know this, that I’m not waiting for the decision to feel perfect anymore. I’m just choosing the one that feels the most alive. So I think when we can do that, is how we live a big life. And if you live in California, Southern California, please hit me up. Let me know. Get me some guidance. Tell me where you live. And if you have a friend that has a beach house that I could practice. Alright, y’all, I love you guys so much. I hope that you can touch base with that version of you that is choosing her own adventure instead of just living at default. All right? I love you so much. See you next. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

Before celebrity culture was manufactured and media-trained, Ann Moses was right in the middle of it, capturing a generation of hot, young stars just as they were becoming icons.In 1966, an 18-year-old Ann Moses landed a position as the editor of Tiger Beat Magazine where she worked until '72!Ann remembers serving Walt Disney a refreshing orange juice, at the Sunkist booth where she worked at Disneyland and telling him she had written two articles for the employee newsletter. His sage words? “You never know where that will take you.”Armed with a pad, a pen, a tape recorder, a camera and relentless curiosity, she began chasing stories and opportunities. Ann shares how she talked her way into an interview with the Dave Clark Five when they performed at Melodyland Theater in Anaheim. She asked their road manager for just five minutes with the band. They gave her 35 minutes and her career was in gear.Joining Tiger Beat as an intern when it was just five issues deep with a staff of just four, Ann made herself indispensable. Her bosses sent her to clubs, sets, recording studios, and concert halls. She returned with loads of great photos and interviews and got to work writing, editing and creating contests, experiences and content that took readers right along with her. While covering Dino, Desi and Billy, Ann was offered a drink by Dean Martin. She requested a coke. She then sat down with Lucille Ball, for several hours, to talk about her son, Desi Jr. The interview spilled into a lunch where Lucy said, “Enough about me and Desi. Tell me about you.”Tiger Beat's exclusive access to The Monkees and The Partridge Family found Ann regularly visiting their sets for hours of personal time that led to fascinating stories. Spoiler: Monkee Talk was not actually written by The Monkees and Mike Nesmith spent an entire year avoiding Ann who was more than happy to talk, instead, with his wife, Phyllis. Bobby Sherman could not have been more friendly and amenable. While David Cassidy was also difficult to pin down until a note went home to his dad, Jack Cassidy.Ann opens up about her whirlwind romance with The Bee Gees' Maurice Gibb, including a European adventure and a shocking revelation at the end of their time together. What's the last thing you want to hear a man tell you in bed? She heard it!She also reflects on the Tiger Beat vs. 16 Magazine rivalry and she recalls the first time she saw the Osmonds open for Nancy Sinatra and the full-circle moment when she reconnected with Donny last year in Vegas! It's a joyful, fascinating conversation about a time when fame was more personal, access was real, and one young reporter armed with a camera and a tape recorder, could find herself at the center of it all.In current media, Weezy is 'recommending the documentary Paul McCartney: Man on the Run on Prime.Path Points of Interest:Ann MosesAnn Moses on InstagramAnn Moses on FacebookAnn Moses/Donny Osmond ReunionMeow! My Groovy Life With Tiger Beat's Teen IdolsAnn Moses on YoutubeMan On The Run

Throughout April The New Beverly (and the Video Archives Cinema Club) present a wide-ranging retrospective dedicated to director William Beaudine, including silent film masterpieces with live musical accompaniment, sparkling pre-code gems, and rarely-seen treasures! Plus, swashbuckling classics, Dean Martin westerns, The Whole Bloody Affair, midnights, matinees & more! Brian, Elric and Phil are joined by Will Sloan from the Important Cinema Club Podcast. Check out Will's recent book on Ed Wood as well: https://www.amazon.com/Ed-Wood-Made-Hollywood-USA/dp/1682196410 Check out all things New Beverly here: https://thenewbev.com/ Have A look at what's Happening at The Vista/Video Archives Cinema Club Here: https://ticketing.uswest.veezi.com/sessions/?siteToken=20xhpa3yt2hhkwt4zjvfcwsaww If You Enjoy the show, You can help support us at Pure Cinema by going to: https://www.patreon.com/purecinemapod Brian's Directed By shirts can be found here: https://www.teepublic.com/user/filmmakershirts The show is now on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/purecinemapod.bsky.social As are Brian: https://bsky.app/profile/bobfreelander.bsky.social Elric: https://bsky.app/profile/elrickane.bsky.social and the New Beverly: https://bsky.app/profile/newbeverly.bsky.social

Bill Maher welcomes Jerry O'Connell to Club Random with Bill Maher for a conversation that jumps from childhood fame to life in Calabasas. Jerry reflects on the unlikely moment that set his career in motion—when director Rob Reiner told the shy kid from Stand by Me to stop holding back and lean into who he was. That advice, he says, changed everything. From there, the two get into Jerry's marriage to Rebecca Romijn, the surreal experience of being married to someone once married to John Stamos, and the chaos of raising teenagers in Calabasas. Along the way they cover Kourtney Kardashian's parking etiquette, the Dean Martin school of zero rehearsal, and why ayahuasca is a hard no for both of them. Support our Advertisers: -Protect your car with CarShield. Get 20% off at http://www.carshield.com with code RANDOM -Try Claude for free at https://www.claude.ai/clubrandom -Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://www.ziprecruiter.com/random Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher's Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There's a whole big world out there that isn't about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it.  For advertising opportunities please email: PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO's “Real Time,” Maher's combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher's uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect's Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Agent 99” herself, the funny and charming Barbara Feldon invites Gilbert and Frank to her New York City townhouse to share warm memories of “Get Smart” co-stars Don Adams, Ed Platt and Bernie Kopell and to give the boys her take on the Steve Carell feature film version. Also, Barbara looks back on working with everyone from Dean Martin to Bruce Dern and tells us how she managed to win $64,000 on a quiz show. Also in this episode: Gilbert channels John McGiver, Barbara auditions to be a stripper, and the worst TV movie ever made. PLUS: A live, all-new rendition of the "99" song! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices