Podcasts about Wishing

Tired of feeling like you should have done better, been better, or had it all figured out by now?Give yourself permission to be human—to make mistakes, learn, grow, and know that you are still worthy every step of the way. Listen to this episode "Perfectly Imperfect" anytime you need this reminder. If this episode was helpful and you want to leave a tip, simply go to AffirmationPod.com/TipJarThe sister episode to this one is Episode 480 Countering Perfectionism https://AffirmationPod.com/CounteringPerfectionismReady to change the way you think and start seeing real results?Want to start thinking more positively and feel more confident?Secure your one-on-one affirmations coaching spot at AffirmationPod.com/CoachingWANT MORE EPISODES LIKE THIS ONE?Episode 550 I am Worthy and Enough https://AffirmationPod.com/IAmWorthyAndEnough Episode 451 You are Enough https://AffirmationPod.com/YouAreEnough Episode 418 I am Still Enough https://AffirmationPod.com/StillEnough Episode 340 Feeling Inadequate https://AffirmationPod.com/FeelingInadequate Episode 275  Being Too Hard On Yourself https://AffirmationPod.com/TooHardOnYourself REVIEWS

Found a research article that was food for thought on how warmer autumns may be having effects on our bees that aren't so good: creating smaller late-winter clusters by increased wear and tear on the precious winter bees who should not be as active as the temps drive them to be. But also, it goes into novel solutions (well, not novel in Canada but novel in more Southern climes) to help. Do backyard beekeepers have any options to help? I do some thinking aloud about all that and pondering on an unexpected potential benefit of insulation perhaps? Here is the original study if you take those straight-up-no-chaser (looking at you Susan S! ;-) : https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-55327-8 For a reader friendly overview that will help you then dive into the research paper: https://news.wsu.edu/press-release/2024/03/25/honey-bees-at-risk-for-colony-collapse-from-longer-warmer-fall-seasons/ Also: for my past episode on Condensing Hives vs Ventilating Hives see Ep 122 *Ep 122: New Insulation Setup and The "Condensing Hive"* A deeper dive into the why and how of the insulation setup I started using several years ago, the condensing-hive concept. For the patrons, find the links to everything mentioned in the show, and the video I made for .   Wishing you all a wonderful week and let me know if there are topics about bees you have been wondering about and it's a great excuse for me to do a geek deep dive into research on it! —kind regards, Leigh   Not a patron yet? You are warmly invited to become a Friend of Five Apple on Patreon and join the folks who make the podcasts possible, who keep the archives available and who keep it all advertising-free. https://www.patreon.com/fiveapple In addition to huge gratitude, you get: Detailed show notes with links, tips, comments Access to Patreon blog posts including tips and videos Occasional bonus podcasts and early access episodes Commenting on posts (and DMs) allows me to answer questions Input on the podcast topics Shout-outs on the show because I appreciate you!  If you can support the show  please sign up today: https://www.patreon.com/fiveapple Beekeeping at Five Apple — talk, tips, and how-to on sustainable beekeeping from the Blue Ridge mountains of Southern Appalachia. Host Leigh Wilkerson brings sixteen years of hands-on experience from her self-sustaining apiary since 2010. The podcast explores colony health, natural bee biology, and organic to chemical-free methods. Episodes go deep on seasonal management, swarm control, queen rearing, hive biology, nutrition, and sustainable genetics. Designed for beekeepers ready to go beyond the basics, with episodes for newer beekeepers too. Leigh is a popular Zoom presenter for bee clubs and associations. Topics include specialty splits so you never buy a package again; requeening approaches; simple frame-based queen rearing; building VSH genetics in your yard; and topics by request.

In this episode, Jennie and McKinley discuss: An essential companion for business Technology should be easy Gamifying to create habits Connecting to your team Key Takeaways: Technology has been business leaders' constant companion, it's a great tool for training and communications. Growing your business will mean that you embrace growing technologies. New technology shouldn't have to require a Ph.D. to operate, it has to be approachable and easily operable for it to be effective. Gamifying difficult or repetitive tasks is a good way to create and sustain good habits. Being connected to your team, being present in their milestones, and following up on each new success is essential on growing your team and your business as a whole "The tools had to do the work… they allow the individual to become the messenger and not have to be the message." — McKinley Oswald About McKinley Oswald: For the past 25 years, McKinley Oswald has been heavily involved in working with direct sales companies and industry leaders to help them achieve success. His full-time contributions at Verb began after graduating from the University of Utah in 1998 when he became involved in the culture and direction of Sound Concepts (the company that was acquired by Verb in 2019). Although it originally started with kit assembly and cassette duplication, the company has now progressed far beyond that to offer a diverse lineup of sales-enablement tools and marketing services on the Verb digital platform. In his role as President of Direct Sales, McKinley has worked with hundreds of direct sales companies to help enable their field to succeed.Connect with McKinley Oswald: Twitter: https://twitter.com/mckinleyoswald Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/VerbTechCo Website: https://www.verb.tech/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mckinleyoswald/ Email: mjo@verb.tech CONNECT WITH JENNIE: Twitter: https://twitter.com/jenniebpl Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/badassdirectsalesmastery/app/307339332686535/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badassdirectsalesmastery/ Website: https://badassdirectsalesmastery.com/ Show: https://badassdirectsalesmastery.com/blog/ YouTube: LinkedIn: Email: jennie@badassdirectsalesmastery.com Show notes by Podcastologist: Justine Talla Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it.

This week, our Host, Thilan Wickramasinghe opens to mounting AI and geopolitical risk, with a slew of AI founders warning on the need to slow model development stoking fears over AI spending, while intensifying Middle East tensions push oil another leg higher. Against this backdrop, the team hunts for risk-reward across ASEAN.The show leads with our Strategist Anand's latest ASEAN strategy, where he stays selective despite broadly positive 2Q26 GDP surprises, keeping Singapore and Malaysia OVERWEIGHT, upgrading the Philippines to NEUTRAL alongside Indonesia, Thailand and Vietnam, and flagging financials, energy security and Super El Niño as cross-border themes.Next up, our Banking & Finance Analyst, Faiq Asad, joins to unpack brightening prospects for Indonesian banks, addressing strong July loan growth of 13.6% YoY, system liquidity as BI securities yields moderate, NIM pressure, and his top picks for investors looking to add exposure now.Moreover, our Technology Analyst, Jarick Seet, discusses Frencken's SGD100m placement and near-18% share pullback, alongside Marco Polo Marine's sizable SGD139m RTO of Fuji Offset Plate Manufacturing, maintaining his BUY with 86% upside and outlining the key catalysts ahead.Finally, our Healthcare Analyst, Eric Ong, examines Singapore's living sector, covering Centurion's Johor worker-accommodation acquisition and its accretion to the Group, plus Coliwoo's new Changi co-living property and expansion outlook.Wishing you a profitable trading week ahead!

Elle Russ chats with Brownell Landrum - a TEDx speaker and the author of the new book, The Art and Science of Wishing, the Cosmic Wishes children's book, and the upcoming The Art & Science of Wishing at Work. She is also the author of over a dozen books, both fiction and nonfiction, the host of the Cosmic Wishes show (launched June 2, 2026), where she helps guests turn wishes into Cosmic Wishes by applying Science. What if the wishes that don't come true are sometimes the luckiest ones - and what if rejection is really the universe editing your story rather than ending it? Elle Russ and Brownell Landrum explore the science and psychology of wishing, from keeping your biggest dreams protected from other people's doubt to navigating conflicting desires, wishing for rather than against, and gratitude. Learn more about Brownell Landrum HERE Learn more about Elle Russ HERE

This week, our Host, Thilan Wickramasinghe opens to rising geopolitical and inflation risk, with US-Iran attacks in the Straits of Hormuz prompting Goldman to flag possible USD120 oil, alongside a stronger US jobs print stoking Fed rate hike odds. Against this backdrop, the team hunts for structural winners in Singapore.The show leads with our Bank's Analyst Desmond Ch'ng's roundup of Malaysian banks post-results, covering 1H26's pressure points, the 2027 outlook, and his top picks.Next up is our new initiation on Keppel Corp, where our REITs and Industrials Analylst, Krishna, argues it's no longer the conglomerate investors grew up with. He rates it BUY, citing its asset-light shift toward asset management, broad AI/data centre infrastructure exposure, planned divestments, and dividends rising from 42 to 49 cents by FY28. Execution risk remains the key watch item.In the terms of tech, our analyst Jarick discusses two small caps: Addvalue, where a new USD5m order and a US government-linked partnership underpin his BUY despite a 35% one-month rally, and IsoTeam, addressing FY26 misses, project delays, the stalled drone-painting catalyst, and whether the stock offers value now.Finally, our Telcos Analyst Hussaini Saifee examines Foodpanda-Grab dynamics, arguing the real question is who ends up owning Foodpanda, not whether it survives — pointing to Singapore's two-player market as proof of its strategic value. He outlines three buyer scenarios (Uber, ShopeeFood, Meituan), notes the main risk sits in Grab's Deliveries segment rather than its sturdier Mobility business, flags currency and Uber-stake overhangs, but keeps a BUY given resilient growth and a ~33% YTD share price decline.Wishing you a profitable trading week ahead!

In this episode, we perceive a lady’s situation in the midst of a dilemma, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Aganaanooru 325, penned by Maamoolanaar. Set in the ‘Paalai’ or ‘Drylands landscape’, the verse mentions the respect and admiration rendered unto a Sangam-era king. அம்ம! வாழி, தோழி! காதலர்,”வெண் மணல் நிவந்த பொலங் கடை நெடு நகர்,நளி இருங் கங்குல் புணர் குறி வாய்த்தகளவும் கைம்மிக அலர்ந்தன்று; அன்னையும்உட்கொண்டு ஓவாள் காக்கும்; பின் பெரிதுஇவண் உறைபு எவனோ? அளியள்!” என்று அருளி,”ஆடு நடைப் பொலிந்த புகற்சியின் நாடு கோள்அள்ளனைப் பணித்த அதியன் பின்றை,வள் உயிர் மாக் கிணை கண் அவிந்தாங்கு,மலை கவின் அழிந்த கனை கடற்று அருஞ் சுரம்வெய்யமன்ற; நின் வை எயிறு உணீஇய,தண் மழை ஒரு நாள் தலையுக! ஒள் நுதல்,ஒல்கு இயல், அரிவை! நின்னொடு செல்கம்;சில் நாள் ஆன்றனைஆக” என, பல் நாள்,உலைவு இல் உள்ளமொடு வினை வலி உறீஇ,எல்லாம் பெரும் பிறிதாக, வடாஅது,நல் வேற் பாணன் நல் நாட்டு உள்ளதை,வாள் கண் வானத்து என்றூழ் நீள் இடை,ஆள் கொல் யானை அதர் பார்த்து அல்கும்சோலை அத்தம் மாலைப் போகி,ஒழியச் சென்றோர்மன்ற;பழி எவன் ஆம்கொல், நோய் தரு பாலே? In this long trip to the drylands, we take a short walk amidst the familiar spaces and spend more time in the minds of the protagonists, as we listen to the lady say these words to the confidante: “Listen, my friend! May you live long! My beloved had said, ‘In the tall mansion, with a well-adorned entrance, filled with white sands, during the deep dark hour of midnight, our secret love relationship groomed by the trysts had grown out of bounds, causing slander to spread. Understanding this, her mother now guards her ceaselessly. At such a time, how is it possible for her to remain here? She's to be pitied'. Saying so, he had endowed his grace and kindness. Then, continuing, he mentioned, ‘After the life time of Athiyan, who bid Allan to take over his country, which had been one of ceaseless dance and festivities, the resounding sounds of the huge ‘Kinai' drums that sing a patron's praise, fell utterly silent'. Akin to that, the mountains have utterly lost their beauty, and only scrub jungles spread densely in those formidable drylands, which will be sweltering and impossible for you to traverse. May the cool rains pour soon one day, so that your sharp teeth get to savour it, O young maiden, with a radiant forehead and a swaying gait! At that time, I shall take you along with me. So, why don't you bear with this separation for a few days?'. Saying so, with an unswerving heart, he had stressed upon setting out on his mission to gain wealth, leaving everything to go to great ruin. Many days ago, he had left to the north beyond the fine country, ruled by Paanan, who wields fine spears, to those long and winding paths, scorching with the sword-like rays of the sun, where killer elephants, rest and wait, in those jungles, leaving me to suffer many lonely evenings here! Now, what to do about the shame of this illness rendered unto me?” Time to walk on to distant countries and learn more! The lady starts by recollecting the man’s words. At first he had understood the lady’s delicate situation, wherein their relationship had grown strong with the trysts, gossip had spread in town, and owing to that, mother was keeping the lady under guard. So, he empathises with the lady and says it’s impossible for the lady to remain at her wealthy home, amidst this crisis. The man knows the alternative is to elope with the lady and take her to his town. At the same time, he pauses to note that this is the harsh summer season, where the mountains and paths are utterly devoid of moisture or beauty. To etch this, he brings in the simile of a Sangam era King, Athiyan, who apparently gave away his country to another named ‘Allan’, and gave up his life. After that loss, overcome by grief, the bards refused to play their Kinai drums and utter silence filled that place known for its exuberant festivities. That silence and absence of joy, the man equates to the loss of fertility and pleasantness in the mountains. Saying so, the man had told the lady that at this time it would be impossible for the lady to leave with him. He had promised the rains would soon come, and at that time, he would take her along. Wishing to go earn wealth at this time, he had asked the lady to bear the separation, and had left to the drylands beyond Paanan’s country, leaving the lady to face many a lonely evening. The lady concludes by wondering what they are going to do about the blame and shame that will rise because of the illness of pining, brimming over in her! This is a verse where we get to see the reasoning why the man sometimes takes the lady and elopes through the drylands, and at other times, he leaves her behind. The man is juggling with two options in his mind and deciding what’s best for the moment. Here’s an example of no matter how much thought goes into a decision, things don’t always work out well for all concerned at all times. A verse which seems to tell me that ultimately, we can only do what we think as best and leave the rest for time to teach us about!

33.043 Rockin' your house with the BEST roots rock n' roll in the preferred 50's style! Hang out with your greasy pal, the Aztec Werewolf™, DJ Del Villarreal and his legendary Rockabilly Radio program, "Go Kat, GO! The Rock-A-Billy Show!" Wishing a huge heavenly 93rd 'Happy Birthday!' to country music (and early rock'n'roll) superstar Conway Twitty! Hear a generous selection of his rare, unreleased vintage 50's and early 60's recordings all throughout tonight's episode! PLUS new music to debut from Laura Rebel Angel and the Screamin' Rebel Angels, Geo & The Hotwires, Ambur Rockell, The Real Gone Trio, The Ramblin' Sweethearts and MORE! Plenty of the greatest old school rockers are here as well. Always sure to satisfy, it has to be DJ Del's "Go Kat, GO!" - good to the last bop!™Please follow on FaceBook, Instagram & Twitter!

#STOP OVERTHINKING & SLEEP DEEPLY TONIGHT

Angel Reese was honored by the WNBA…with the award for WNBA Player of the Week. The selection of Angel Reese was immediately criticized by fans of Caitlin Clark…who many believe was significantly better than Angel Reese last week. We discuss Angel Reese being awarded with the WNBA Player of the Week. We explain why the WNBA continues to overlook Caitlin Clark…to promote Angel Reese. We discuss the WNBA wanting Angel Reese to be the face of the league…and explain why the WNBA isn't doing Angel Reese any favors. USE PROMO CODE BTL25 TO SAVE 25% WITH SUGAR MOUNTAIN TRADING: https://sugarmountaintrading.com

In this episode, host Thilan Wickramasinghe previews a cautious start to markets, with Asian sentiment weighed down by hawkish weekend comments from Fed Chair Kevin Warsh that have lifted bets on a rate hike next month, alongside fresh Middle East tensions after new US strikes on Iran. Singapore bucks the trend, however, with the STI in the green; softer manufacturing numbers mask underlying strength, as the AI complex and domestic construction spending keep momentum going, a trend increasingly visible in corporate earnings.Meanwhile, our telecom analyst, Hussaini, reports back from SingTel's investor corporate day last week, coming away more convinced in his BUY rating, and explains what surprised him and why he sees this as the right entry point for investors.In addition, REITs analyst Krishna wraps up the June-quarter results season for Singapore REITs, highlighting the sector's key earnings trends and the team's top stock picks for the quarter.Lastly, our Head of Regional Equity Research, Anand Pathmakanthan, unveils a new regional investment theme built around a forecast "Godzilla" El Niño, with over 80% odds of a Strong to Very Strong event by 4Q26 threatening water security, food inflation, and energy security across ASEAN. His actionable basket spans plantations (Genting Plantations, Sarawak Oil Palms), water infrastructure (Gamuda, EngTex), power and utilities (Mega First, CK Power, Maynilad), food and beverage names (Olam, Universal Robina, Mayora Indah, Muangthai Capital, Osotspa), and defensive retailers like Sheng Siong and Puregold.Wishing you a profitable trading week ahead!

I'm really hoping that Dolly enjoys the triple D's in the title, she was and will forever be an icon musically, philanthropically, and surgically. This episode is dedicated to the incredible women, incredible people, who, like Dolly, live their truth and uplift facts yet do not shy away from speaking passionately and genuine emotion. Sure, it may take “a lot of money to look that cheap,” but there's not enough cash in the world that could purchase Dolly Parton's integrity and integrity IS the purest expression of beauty.  You will be missed dearly, Miss Parton. We will always love you. Please take some time to check out Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, it's celebrating 31 years and 300,000,000+ books gifted (free of charge) to children from birth to age five in the US, Canada, UK, Australia, and Republic of Ireland! Visit: https://imaginationlibrary.com/  Support the show (and your chest): Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/SCHAUER ! #honeylovepod #sponsored #ad  Books: Living Well With Orthostatic Intolerance: A Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment - Peter C. Rowe, MD Most Delicious Poison: The Story of Nature's Toxins - From Spices to Vices - Noah Whiteman Clean: The New Science of Skin and the Beauty of Doing Less - James Hamblin  Scent: A Natural History of Fragrance - Elise Vernon Pearlstine Doctored: Fraud, Arrogance, and Tragedy in the Quest to Cure Alzheimer's - Charles Piller  Sources: Dolly Parton, Queen of Country Music, Dies at 80 https://variety.com/2026/music/news/dolly-parton-dead-dies-country-music-1236842727/ Can You Smell a Disease? Exploring the Link Between Odor and Sickness https://myacare.com/blog/can-you-smell-a-disease-exploring-the-link-between-odor-and-sickness Human perception of Parkinson's disease body odor in comparison to the volatile organic compounds of Parkinson's disease https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1353802024011039 Food Recalls: FreshRecall https://freshrecall.com/ Has images for easy reference, what class of recall, if its ongoing, recalls for different states as well as hazard type Includes recalls by allergen The data is sourced from the FSIS USDA and the FDA RecallScope https://recallscope.com/ App available in the App Store and on google play Allows you to track products and scan VINs and barcodes as well as get alerts The app is free but there are ads. If you would like to send me any additional information on any topic, whether you think it sounds related or like something I should know, please feel free. I love listening and learning. Wishing all of you the best, please treat yourself kindly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're back with the fourth episode in our series in which we're working our way through Pam's book, The Unschooling Journey: A Field Guide. Today, we're continuing our exploration of the deschooling phase of the journey with stage eight: Accepting the Value of All Experiences. We’ve questioned our beliefs about learning and about parenting. Now we're moving beyond judgement. As our understanding of this new world of unschooling grows, we are drawn to digging deeper. Using the lens of unschooling, we're exploring what it means to be a human being living fully in the world, with all of the ups and downs. We had a great time diving in. We hope you find this episode helpful on your unschooling journey! Watch the video of our conversation on YouTube. THINGS WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Learn more about Pam's book, The Unschooling Journey: A Field Guide. We invite you to join us in the Living Joyfully Network, a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents. It's a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional ideas around parenting, relationships, and learning, and explore what they might look like day-to-day in your uniquely wonderful family. We offer a free month trial so you can see if it's a good fit for you. Click here to join us. Sign up to our mailing list on Substack to receive our email newsletters as well as new articles about learning, parenting, and so much more! Check out our website, livingjoyfully.ca for more information about exploring unschooling and navigating relationships. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT PAM: Hello, everyone. I’m Pam Laricchia from Living Joyfully. And I am joined today by my co-hosts Anna Brown and Erika Ellis. ANNA, ERIKA: Hello. PAM: And we are back with another episode in our A Field Guide series. We are working our way through my book, The Unschooling Journey: A Field Guide, which is framed around the hero’s journey and is a weave of myths, contemporary stories and tales from my own journey. We are now deep in the deschooling phase. In the last episode of this series, episode 413, we dug into some of the popular conventional paradigms about parenting, and we found more truths buried there. And as we continue our journey on the road of trials, we’re exploring the idea of accepting the value of all experiences. If you’re newer to unschooling, and this is your first time exploring these truths, you’re likely dancing with these ideas intellectually to understand what they mean and some of their further reaching implications. If you’ve been unschooling for a while and feel like you already intellectually embrace these ideas and have been bringing them into your family’s lives, now’s the time to peel back some more layers to build more connections and context around them, strengthening your web of understanding with your personal experiences, building your wisdom as you move towards believing them in your bones as your own truth. Now we are well into the deschooling phase. In the last two stages, we challenged those conventional pieces of wisdom around learning, like embracing curiosity rather than following curriculum, and parenting, replacing control with connection as our relationship dynamic with our kids. These stages often have lots of twists and turns as we bring these ideas into life, life into our family, and see how things unfold, right? Again, not about right or wrong. We’re gaining experience, we’re seeing how things happen. So this episode, which is stage eight of the journey, we’re exploring the idea of accepting the value of all experiences. In other words, we’re moving beyond judgment. Now here we go. As our understanding of this new world of unschooling grows, we are drawn to digging deeper. Using the lens of unschooling, we’re exploring what it means to be a human being living fully in the world. So Joseph Campbell calls this stage the meeting with the goddess. So in myths and stories, the hero must be spiritually prepared to meet this revered goddess, the universal mother, who represents the whole cycle of life. To meet her in her true form is to rise to her challenge and be able to contemplate the entire birth death cycle that she presents with equanimity with calmness and composure, the ups and the downs, the good and the bad, cosmic creation and destruction, to be able to hold both of these seemingly opposing ideas, opposites in your mind with comparable appreciation. So in the book, I shared that Kali from Hindu mythology is a great example of the kind of goddess you might meet in this stage. As a goddess of time, creation and destruction, she represents both the benevolence of a caring, comforting mother, and the fury of an aggressive punishing one, as well as the expanse of time that contains them both. So, when we look at Kali’s right side, we see good and on the left, we see bad. That’s what she represents. And when we are ready to grasp the truth that lies at the heart of this stage, we see her full nature, both. We see her in full. And we’ve been preparing to meet our Kali with all that we’ve learned so far on our unschooling journey. Like how on earth are we going to link those together? Here we go. We started to see the connections play out between our new perspective on things like we talked about in the last Field Guide episode, like why quitting things isn’t bad, right? Why saying yes more to our kids isn’t bad. Why are kids seemingly doing nothing is not bad. We’ve noticed times when we didn’t stop our child from making a choice that we feared might go badly. And they went on to happily engage with the activity. So by giving our days the time to unfold more naturally, we’ve seen new and interesting things take root in the wake of destruction and upset many times. From a fallen block tower springs a taller, sturdier one. From highly anticipated plans falling through emerges, say, a spontaneous trip to the park, or a cuddly movie day, which turns out to be just what was needed. Without knowing it, we have been thoroughly preparing ourselves for this meeting. And for me, I think the key shift has been your mantra, Anna, there’s plenty of time. The trick was giving moments more time and space to unfold. That allowed me to see how seemingly good and bad moments actually weave together that they’re not like just separate single incidents. They’re not like these distinct events where I can tell you that like, oh, we had five good moments today and seven bad moments. So that was a losing day, or if they were the opposite, that was a winning day, right? To see the fuller, bigger picture, see how this is our life and, and the good and bad were weaving together. But that block tower one is just something I remember, you know, one kid running up and knocking it over. And like just those pieces, think of your own stories in your own life. Think back to when you’ve seen those things go from, from bad something upsetting to working out well, and vice versa. It’s all so very interesting, I think. ANNA: Yeah, it is. And I think Kali is such an interesting representation for this phase, because many people are very afraid to get Kali in a reading because they associate her with destruction. But yes, both pieces are there, creation and destruction. And it fits here so well, because how I see that destruction part is really just a sweeping away of old paradigms, creating a clean slate, allowing us to build a stronger foundation when that tower of our ideas are knocked down, and a new framework to support where we are now with all of this new information that we’re taking in. And it really can’t be built on top of the old. We can take what we’ve learned with us. So it’s not that we’re leaving everything behind. But letting go of the fear around letting go of the old and embracing a new paradigm allows us to fully open to all it can bring us. And a lot of discomfort comes, I think, in straddling the old and new, because we aren’t actually fully in either at that point. And releasing judgment was such a key part of my journey. You know, in my 20s, I loved a good debate and was quite adept at it. And as I started to value connection over winning, I realized how disconnecting the judgment was. I will never know what’s best for another person, even my child. So any judgment of them or their actions actually just keeps me from learning about them, who they are, how they want to move through the world, what their priorities are. And honestly, it keeps my own learning stagnant. If I’m so sure I know what’s best, how do I see a new way, a way that might serve me better in this moment where I am right now. And I love the tally piece that you mentioned because I think it’s a really slippery slope. If we are focused on categorizing the day or the event as good or bad, we’re missing the nuance that exists in every day, every event, because there’s always going to be both, they exist together. And while our brain can like this idea of categorizing as a shortcut, it really takes us out of being present in each moment. And it can end up dictating our emotions around it. So have we had a good week? Okay, then I can feel happy and feel good. I’m a great parent, we’ve done it this week. But then if this week has been bad, then there must be something wrong with me, and I should have done something differently. That type of judgment and kind of surface level ranking just doesn’t serve us personally or relationally. And it can really keep us stuck in this yucky cycle, instead of learning and growing together. And so that is something to watch for that like, oh, this was good and so now this means X, you know, whereas again, I think the idea of plenty of time really does help just let things unfold, and not getting attached to those pieces, we just learn so much more. ERIKA: Yes, I like this phase, because it really feels to me like having gained some perspective, and maybe some maturity, after making a whole lot of huge mental shifts and paradigm shifts we’ve been working through in the last few episodes. And so I just think life is so much more nuanced than there’s one right answer, or there’s one right way to do something. And I think we may absorb that message in school that there is a right answer or one right path. But it’s so much more real and true to living life in this world to be in this gray area, there are infinite possibilities, there are infinite paths, we’re not sure how it’s going to play out. And so I feel a lot more grounded and safe when I have that perspective, and I’m not clinging so strongly to this is good, this is bad. I also feel a lot more generous and nonjudgmental towards other people as well. Because I can recognize, we’re just all doing our best in each moment to meet our own needs and just figure out what’s going to work best for us. And we’re all different. And I don’t need to judge others. And I just feel like it’s a grounding place to be, when we get to this stage. PAM: Yeah. Oh, I love that. Okay, so the next aspect we want to explore around the idea of accepting the value of all experiences is moving beyond this is good and bad. So in the book, I share a quote that’s usually attributed to Alexander Graham Bell. When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. I think that succinctly describes life before this encounter with the goddess, right? We don’t realize the connection between destruction and creation between good and bad on that continuum of time. So this is the wisdom that the stories of Kali and other cosmic mother goddesses are meant to convey, rather than being tossed around by the ups and downs of life, like that whole roller coaster image, we now see the value of and the connection between those moments. So as we’ve been paying attention on our journey, giving things time and space to unfold, which you hear us talking about all the time on the podcast, we’ve soon experienced the cycle and had time to learn that trying to rush through the down times doesn’t work. We can’t pry open a door that doesn’t want to give. We’ve learned that doesn’t mean passively sitting back and waiting. It means being attentive, just like from that quote, right? Maybe knocking on a door, wandering the hallway, noticing the door that’s slightly ajar, hearing the faint click of a doorknob being unlocked. Eventually, something happens and things move forward, maybe in unexpected ways. But in my experience, often in more interesting ways than we had first imagined. That was us looking at that door, that’s where we thought we were going. That’s where we thought things were going to be. But when we there’s just so many more ways that life can unfold. I actually really learned this more through observing my kids’ lives in action. So often, when I was able to stretch my comfort zones and follow them where they were eager to go, the door they wanted to go through, I saw them learning so much, both when things went well and when they didn’t. There’s that good/bad. I was humbled by how often my initial predictions were just flat out wrong. Thank goodness I kept them to myself because I wasn’t ready quite yet to admit how often I was wrong. But without me clouding their experience with my judgment, they could more clearly and directly learn what was most valuable to them in the moment, because that’s where their mind was. That’s where their whole body was. I want to be in this moment, and just see how it plays out. So as my wish to understand my children’s perspective, and choices grew, my need to judge them truly faded. And with that, so did so many of our conflicts, and our trust in each other grew. And again, remember that not judging isn’t about giving in or giving up or saying do whatever you want, right? It’s about engaging more deeply but with openness. The image that helps me is beginner’s mind. What can I learn here? That’s what this stage is encouraging us to discover. It’s about seeing the value of all aspects of life, moving through the bad moments with as much awareness as the good ones, not covering your eyes and trying to ignore them until they pass. Because, as you see, through all the ups and downs, all these moments are integral to our lives. They all mean something. They all help us learn something. ERIKA: Yeah, that’s a huge shift when we can stop labeling things as good and bad. It’s just more complicated than that. And I think our judging tends to influence what happens next. And so I don’t, I certainly don’t want to label my day as a bad day, especially at the beginning, which I do hear people do that sometimes. Because a day has all kinds of moments in it. And we don’t know what’s going to happen next. And by labeling it bad, I think we’re just setting ourselves up for well, now it is going to be bad because we said that. But we learned from it all. In some of the meditation courses I’ve participated in, I really came to understand and value that idea of equanimity. It’s a power that we can cultivate, to be able to just witness the turbulent nature of life and still see the bigger picture. It feels like not getting swept up by every little thing that’s happening. And it helps keep me going and moving towards the things that I want. Whereas if I am getting swept up, it makes it so I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t even face what’s happening or make decisions or move forward. And so I feel like if we can move away from judging ourselves, judging others, judging all the moments as good or bad, I think there’s just so much more potential and so many more possibilities in front of us. To me, it has a very spacious feeling. ANNA: Yeah, I really like that visual, witnessing the turbulent nature of life, but not getting swept away. I think that therein lies that practice of equanimity and just presence. I feel like the categorizing that I mentioned earlier keeps us from really appreciating the nuances of all the experiences. Each experience brings with it a wealth of knowledge and understanding about ourselves, about each other, about the world. And the idea of releasing good or bad always brings to mind for me the Taoist farmer story. I’ll post a better version in the show notes. But the idea is that there’s a farmer who has a series of events happen to his family at each event, the village wants to weigh in with, Oh, what bad luck you’re having? Or Oh, what good luck you’re having? And each time the farmer answers maybe. His horse runs away, bad luck. Maybe. His horse returns with six more wild horses. Good luck. Maybe. His son breaks his leg on a new horse. Bad luck. Maybe. His son doesn’t have to go to war when all the other young men do. Good luck. Maybe. As the story unfolds, you see how something first appears is never the whole of the story. And if we can step away from preconceived notions and judging everything as good or bad, it opens us to more nuances, to new paths, to new ideas. Even just bringing “maybe” into our mind when something happens can slow us down and help us widen our view. Because we get caught up with the quick snap judgment, and it creates this ripple that really narrows our focus, and keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. And that’s the thing with good or bad, it is just this narrowing of the focus. And so if instead, I acknowledge that what is happening just is, I’m more open to seeing the opportunities for growth and learning, I’m more open to actually experiencing it. And I guess that’s a big piece for me, because judging really takes us out of the moment and puts us back into our head. We’re categorizing, this is a problem, this is not good, this is bad, end of story. But there’s no end to the story. Each bit of life leads to another and weaves into this larger tapestry. And with openness and willingness, we can create this massive tapestry that keeps us learning and growing throughout our life. And once we understand that for ourselves, we can see that our kids are doing exactly the same. They are on their own unique journey, building their own unique, massive tapestry. PAM: I love that piece. And the word maybe could be so helpful if you’re navigating this stage right now. And just put a little card that says maybe somewhere where you see it. It’s just a little reminder that judging something in that moment, maybe you’re right but maybe not. Let’s let things unfold. Okay, so the next aspect we want to explore around the idea of accepting the value of all experiences is the epiphany moment. We’ve talked before about how we often understand things intellectually before we feel them as truth in our bones. And in the book, I liken the intellectual understanding as puzzle pieces we have floating around in our minds, right? They each make sense to us on an intuitive level, but they haven’t really quite solidly clicked into place. So as you begin this stage of moving beyond judgment, you may not yet have enough puzzle pieces to grasp what this not judging thing might look like in the bigger picture. And then at some point, the piece appears that kind of changes everything. The moment that sparks this epiphany, as with so many other insights on our unschooling journey, truly might be quite ordinary. It doesn’t need to be a special puzzle piece. It’s just the puzzle piece for you. This is the one, for some reason, that gives you the flash of insight. All of a sudden, you can see the picture you’re building, and how the pieces are going to fit together. So, the naivete, it’s so easy to write, less so much to say. But this naive urge to judge something becomes clear, and our understanding of the value of all experiences, good, bad, otherwise, medium, whatever word you’re using, or words you’re using to judge things, rises out of the confusing free-for-all that we first envisioned at the thought of moving beyond. If we’re not judging things, everything is just, everything’s good then? What does that mean? From this turning point, this epiphany, our perspective shifts. We stop desperately trying to avoid or escape bad moments. Understanding that they, while, absolutely not what we’ve hoped for, are just moments. And, as you often talk about, Anna, we grow to trust ourselves to handle whatever kind of moment comes our way. A deeper sense of confidence begins to take root, as we more mindfully engage in all the moments of our days. And, we more clearly see our children living this trust and confidence. I think it’s something humans are born knowing. But, we lose track of it growing up when we’re immersed in judgment, shame, and fear. And those being used to control us. Going back to that last episode of Control and Connection. And, it hits us now. We’ve got this puzzle piece. Life isn’t about trying to avoid the bad moments, so we can finally live our good lives. And, we’re just like, I want this good life. I want this good life. We have been living our full lives, our rich lives, all along. ANNA: I think there’s just such a beautiful freedom in recognizing that life is going to contain it all. It’s not about optimizing. It isn’t something we can control. There is not one path that will lead to everything being perfect. I think, as the Buddhists would say, the suffering is in the attachment to that outcome. And so, to me, it really plays out. If I’m gripping so tightly to control, thinking I can somehow make the right choice, and then everything will always be great, it feels so dysregulating when it doesn’t happen that way, when I’ve tried so hard, and then the mark has been missed. Again, that goal that we talked about a little bit earlier. If instead, I’m just open and curious, and greeting things as they come, be them obstacles or gifts, with the same open energy, I can stay regulated, and I can find the growth available to me in all of those areas, in both, in obstacles and the beautiful gifts of life. And that’s where I got to the place that you mentioned. The epiphany for me was seeing how well we worked together, how we survived whatever came our way. We had tools to get through it, and that doesn’t take away the sting of disappointment or loss when it happens, because it still can sting. But our relationships were solid. Nothing felt shaky there. And from that foundation, the bumps felt more manageable. So, instead of the acrobatics of trying to miss the bumps, my focus was on strengthening our connection and our communication, so that we could roll over the bumps together. That was something that I could actually influence. Attempting to stop the bumps never worked, no matter how hard I tried. It’s outside of my control, and it ends up taking me out of the moment, and I’m actually not using the time or energy to strengthen my relationships. I’m over here juggling and trying to do something perfectly. And I think this can be really hard at first, though, because we really have been taught that there are answers, that things fit nicely into good and bad and right and wrong. And so, when something so widely accepted, like school, isn’t working for your family, it can feel very intense. We become invested in finding the next right answer, but it’s not about that. Life is about nuance, growth, exploration. It’s messier and more unpredictable than that. But again, I think once we embrace that and understand what we can control, which is basically just how we show up and who we are, there is a freedom, a release that happens. It opens you up to see the beauty in all of it, the beauty and the value in all experiences. So, back to the theme. ERIKA: I love that, and I know it feels hard sometimes, because it really does feel like maybe I can control everything, and then I’ll know how it’s going to turn out, and it’ll all turn out perfectly. But life shows me that it doesn’t work like that. But that’s not failing. That’s just life. And so, I can connect with other people, because we all are sharing this human experience of all of these parts. Life has it all. And if someone in my life seems unable to see that for themselves, I know that’s just where they are on their own journey. I don’t have to pull them to where I am. Life has it all, the ups and the downs, and we’re just going to roll with it. If someone’s not ready for that, I can’t get them there. It’s one of those things that I think just has to click for us in time, and I guess that’s why we’re calling it the epiphany here. So, yeah, I love that. PAM: It has to click for us. I love that. I love that. And, okay, so this last aspect that we want to dive into is embracing the value of time. And just imagine, time is what we’ve been talking about to see how good and bad are actually linked together, and they don’t need to be judged. They’re things that happen. They’re things that have happened, and this led to this and maybe to this. Anyway, I had mentioned earlier that I think the key shift for me in understanding this stage of the journey was really in your mantra, Anna, there’s plenty of time. This is the piece that I wanted to bring out because there’s two aspects of time for me that came to me. One was giving moments more time and space to unfold. That’s what we’ve been talking about. Most often, we don’t need to solve moments, right? I don’t need to ride the high of good as long as I can, and I don’t need to fix the bad as fast as I can. That is just something that fades alongside the urge to judge them, that this is what comes with the epiphany. But the other was more time to ponder things. There’s a deeper level of understanding that comes with continuing to poke and prod our thoughts, to look at our ideas from this way and that way, up close, far away, sideways. Giving myself that time and space allowed me to see how seemingly good and bad moments actually weave together. It’s just the up and down and in and out of playing with things. It’s like, oh, it was so useful to me to recognize when I get stuck in something, right? I need to change how I’m looking at something. And truly, if you are persistent, you will reach deeper levels of understanding, moving from the comprehension, if this is kind of your first engagement with these kinds of ideas, that makes some sense to experience. Then you see these ideas in action. So often for us, it’s seeing them in action with our kids, right? And then to the truth, you’ve seen them play out multiple times in multiple circumstances, and you’re starting to see how they might actually apply to you as well. And this stage is just a great example of this. If discovering the truth around learning and parenting in the last two stages was akin to adding new landmarks to your map, this stage was about taking the time to explore them more fully, eventually revealing like the secluded trails that connect them. We also get our first taste of the fruits of this inner journey. Releasing that need to be constantly judging things is just so freeing. I mean, the curiosity that bubbles up from that, it was just life changing for me. Time is a priceless and integral part of both our journey to understand and embrace unschooling, but also the practice of unschooling itself forevermore. We’ve gone from intellectually understanding that life encompasses good and bad moments to experiencing the learning about the world and about ourselves that is found in both kinds of moments, to embracing the truth that all moments, good, bad, and all manner in between moments have value in our lives. We are learning through the ups and downs, through the good and bad. This is life or as Campbell describes it, which I thought was cool, the nature of being. Yeah, that lands for me. ERIKA: That’s beautiful. I love that. I can definitely find myself clinging to time when things are feeling good, and just wishing it would slow down. But really the only way to slow down time that I’ve found is to get really present, and take note of all the things that are happening in this moment. There are all kinds of feelings, experiences, things to see, people to be with. And so I don’t typically wish away time even when things are hard. I think it’s a human impulse to do that though, like I just wish this day was over. But I think my personality specifically tends to cling to time rather than hope it goes by faster. But I have found there’s plenty of time to be just such a soothing phrase. It’s a reminder for me to just relax, let go of my intensity about finding that solution or getting to a certain place. I mean, even physically getting to a place, we have to get to whatever, get to the party on time. And I love how we all hear Anna’s voice in our minds with that reminder. It really helps me move out of that kind of tunnel vision and to a more grounded place where I can see what’s actually in front of me and make decisions about what to do next. And even just taking a breath can be so helpful too, just to settle down my nervous system. There’s plenty of time. We’ve got this. And just let me be present in this moment. ANNA: Yeah. Oh my goodness. How many times do we remind each other that we’ve got this during any given week and that there’s plenty of time?! It really does calm my nervous system and sometimes it feels cheesy to type or hear. But it also calms my nervous system every time because it’s true because we have a history of having gotten it. And so I know we will keep doing it, but I do think it’s fun to think about time. It’s just such an interesting concept and it can drive so many feelings and behaviors, or I guess maybe more accurately our reactions and interplay with time drives the feelings and behavior, but understanding that helps us see the choice, right? So time can seem to be crawling and then it can fly by in a blink and can often feel out of our control. But I like the pieces that have been pulled out, like the idea of giving space to a moment, not needing to rush in with solutions or move quickly through it. I think we do that sometimes because we don’t like to sit in discomfort. But that discomfort has messages for us. It’s not a scary place. It can be a place of growth and we miss that if we’re rushing through it, just like we miss the joy present in those small moments, as well, if we’re always rushing ahead to the next thing. And the unfolding became such an important concept to me. I was a planner. I still am, but with a lighter, more playful grip. Allowing moments and days to unfold, I started to see this organic flow that was always present, a flow I had really missed in my tightly controlled timelines. And I started to feel a real difference in my body. The tightness that I was literally carrying as I was trying to plan and control all the things versus the softness, the openness in my body when we just allowed a day to unfold. And that learning could happen in a moment when I stopped talking and observed. These things were not easy for me. That is why ‘there’s plenty of time' is such an important mantra for me, because I could feel myself relax with that reminder. And it is not my natural state of being. I am wanting to do, do, do, maximize, go, do. There’s not enough time. But boy, it really helps ground me. And then the part you mentioned, Pam, about time to ponder, that was also really critical. I had to slow down and trust in the time to find the deeper layers, to better understand myself and the people around me. And it doesn’t happen overnight. It happens with an intentional commitment to take the time to feel the feelings, to dig into the layers, to understand the connections, the reactions, the context, the ideas that we’re holding on to. I don’t think you can grow, have growth without time to be in that space. And so what I learned about myself was that my kind of go, go, tight control and planning was really me trying to outrun some past trauma pieces and things I didn’t want to look at about myself, and maybe even about the world and the things around me. And slowing down felt really scary. But I really allowed myself space to feel the feelings and understand how my patterns from childhood were showing up now. And that was really the only way I could make changes and show up in new ways to be the person I wanted to be for my kids. So that shift is kind of what you’re talking about Pam, the ideas, they feel great, this kind of intellectual understanding. But it took me doing this slowed down work to really get to feel it in my bones and be able to act on it from my bones versus just this intellectual understanding. PAM: Yeah. Oh, and just to wrap things up, as I was writing the book and really thinking about the phases. I could see how those three ideas came together. That’s why I love choosing Kali, here’s a goddess who is time, creation, and destruction, those three things good, bad and unfolding, are just so integral to growing as a human being to understand what’s going on at some level. There are always more layers, as we talked about, but it’s just fascinating for me to see how these things so beautifully weave together as part of this tapestry. I love that image, too. Okay, so thanks so much to everyone for joining us. We hope you enjoyed this dive into the third stage of the de-schooling phase of our journey, as we explored the idea of accepting the value of all experiences. And we invite you to join us in the Living Joyfully Network to continue this conversation because we love talking about this stuff. It’s a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents, a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional unschooling ideas, and just start to explore and talk about what they might look like day-to-day in your uniquely wonderful family. Your first month is free, so you can get a sense of whether the community is a good fit for you. We are excited to welcome you. To learn more and join us, just follow the link in the show notes or go to livingjoyfully.ca and choose Network in the menu. Wishing everyone a lovely day. Thanks so much, you guys. Bye.

#abundance SLEEP HYPNOSIS

(00:00) Bertrand and McKone react to Roman Anthony hitting a home run in Worcester. Is the Red Sox outfielder nearing a return as Boston prepares for a big series against the Yankees. (6:06) Are the Red Sox capable of making a run to the World Series. (17:53) Zo and Beetle talk about the ownership situation going on in LA, as well as the NBA not finding any evidence against the Clippers and Kawhi Leonard. Could the Celtics and Bill Chisholm still have found a way to pay Jaylen Brown. (29:44) Beetle is wishing for Fall and cooler weather. Please note: Timecodes may shift by a few minutes due to inserted ads. Because of copyright restrictions, portions—or entire segments—may not be included in the podcast.For the latest updates, visit the show page on 985thesportshub.com. Follow 98.5 The Sports Hub on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Watch the show every morning on YouTube, and subscribe to stay up-to-date with all the best moments from Boston's home for sports!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send me a text Manifestation isn't about sitting back and hoping something magically happens. It starts with getting clear on what you want — and taking action toward becoming the person who can create it.In this Portugal Series episode, Christina shares a powerful shift in how to think about manifestation, focus, and possibility — plus one simple action you can take today.Inspired by Portugal. Created for your life.Support the show

Aaron Alexander has spent more than a decade helping people remember something most of us have forgotten: the body knows the way home.In this rich, playful, and unexpectedly profound conversation, Jeff sits down with bestselling author, movement educator, and host of the Align Podcast, Aaron Alexander, for an exploration of breath, embodiment, vulnerability, fear, and what it truly means to surrender.What begins as a conversation about nervous system regulation quickly opens into something much deeper. Aaron shares why the breath may be our most powerful tool for returning to ourselves, how fear lives in the stories of the mind while freedom lives in the wisdom of the body, and why so many of us are unconsciously carrying emotional tension that was never ours to hold.Together, Jeff and Aaron explore presence, ancestral patterns, relationships, masculinity, authenticity, the courage required to face discomfort, and the surprising liberation that comes from letting go of the need to have it all figured out. Aaron also shares moving reflections from his experience in a multi-day darkness retreat, the emotional breakthroughs that followed, and why being helped may be one of the most vulnerable acts of all.This episode is for anyone feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, anxious, stuck in their head, or longing to feel more alive in their body. It's for seekers, skeptics, healers, leaders, parents, partners, and anyone who senses that the answers they're searching for may not be found by thinking harder, but by feeling more deeply.Expect practical tools, unexpected laughter, hard-earned wisdom, and a powerful reminder that beneath the noise, beneath the tension, beneath the stories, there is nothing to fix.Only something to remember.Breathe in.Slow down.Get all up in this beautiful life. ✨

Losing Confidence After Stroke: Why It Happens and How to Get It Back Jaemin Frazer has spent nearly two decades and around 16,000 coaching hours on a single question: what is actually going on when a capable person stops trusting themselves? He founded The Insecurity Project to work on it directly. He is not a stroke survivor – and that turns out to be the reason this conversation is useful, because he arrives without any assumptions about what stroke recovery is supposed to look like. What he does have is a precise account of what happens to a person when their ordered world collapses, which is, more or less, the definition of a stroke. “I Just Want to Be Who I Was” Almost every survivor says some version of this. Six weeks out, six years out – the sentence barely changes. Jaemin’s response is to ask what is actually being requested. His answer: not the past. Certainty. They’re looking for certainty. They’re looking for comfort. They’re looking for safety. They’re looking through rose coloured glasses in many ways, because no one’s life was perfect before anything. That last part is the uncomfortable bit. The life you want back had its own problems. What memory offers is not a better life but a known one – and the nervous system will take known over good almost every time. Certainty Is the Real Request Humans need certainty the way they need food and shelter. We don’t function in chaos. But we also can’t get certainty from the outside world, because the outside world doesn’t have any to give. It never did. The stroke didn’t remove your certainty; it removed your ability to keep believing in it. Which leaves one option. As Jaemin puts it: The most resourceful form of certainty is to embrace uncertainty and back yourself. That distinction – external certainty versus internal certainty – is the whole conversation. When your sense of safety lives outside you, you have to control your circumstances to feel all right, and after a stroke your circumstances are largely uncontrollable. When it lives inside you, circumstances can do what they like. This is the same territory covered in stroke recovery mindset (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/stroke-recovery-mindset/), approached from a completely different angle. Self-Doubt Is Useful. Insecurity Is Not. Jaemin draws a hard line between the two, and it’s worth holding onto. Self-doubt is accurate information about a skill gap. If you can’t yet climb the stairs unaided, self-doubt is what stops you attempting it alone. It says nothing about your worth. It’s wisdom. Insecurity is different. Insecurity is the belief that a failure would expose something defective about you. Jaemin argues that most people misdefine it – it isn’t fear of judgement, failure, or rejection. It’s one level deeper: No one’s actually afraid of being rejected. They’re afraid of: if I put my best foot forward and it’s not enough, and then people don’t accept me – what does that confirm about my own inadequacy? The threat isn’t out there. It’s a verdict you’ve already passed on yourself, waiting for the world to co-sign it. What Insecurity Costs Your Recovery This is where it stops being philosophy. Jaemin frames insecurity as a resource problem. Proving yourself, defending yourself, covering and compensating – all of it consumes energy. When life is going well there’s enough spare capacity that you never notice the drain. After a stroke, there is no spare capacity. A stroke puts you into survival mode, and now you’ve got no resources to survive, because all your best resources are directed elsewhere to make sure no one sees your inadequacy. Survivors already know that fatigue after stroke is not ordinary tiredness. An injured brain rewiring itself is metabolically expensive. Every unit of energy spent managing how you appear to other people is a unit unavailable for healing. Attending to the emotional side of recovery isn’t separate from the physical work – it’s what frees up the capacity to do it. That connection runs through emotional recovery after stroke (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/emotional-recovery-after-stroke-dr-bradley-nelson/) as well. Why Your Friends Push Back Many survivors have to change how they live – what they eat, what they drink, where they go, who they spend time with. And many report losing friends over it. Jaemin’s framing here is bracing. Resistance from the people around you isn’t a malfunction. In any story worth telling, the character who transforms does so by overcoming obstacles, and those obstacles almost always arrive in the form of other people. Remove the resistance and nothing in the hero is enlarged. So when someone says you’ve changed and doesn’t mean it kindly, they are – without intending to – handing you the exact thing you need to become someone who no longer requires their approval. Grief and Insecurity Are Not the Same Thing This distinction matters, and conflating them causes real harm. Losing the use of a limb is a genuine loss. Grief is the appropriate response, and it deserves acknowledgement rather than management. The damage begins when the loss becomes a statement about your worth. I can’t run, therefore I’m not a runner, therefore who am I? That is no longer grief – that’s insecurity wearing grief’s clothes, and it needs a different response entirely. Survivors working through that identity question will recognise it in craniotomy stroke recovery and identity reset (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/craniotomy-stroke-recovery-identity-reset/), and it sits close to the ground covered in anxiety after stroke (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/anxiety-after-stroke/). That’s Not the Tragedy. That’s the Setup. The line Jaemin returns to twice in the episode is this: being lost and confused doesn’t disqualify you from a meaningful life. It’s what qualifies you to begin one. Nobody reaches adulthood with an accurate picture of who they are. Everyone arrives confused. The confusion isn’t damage to be repaired before you can start – it’s the starting position. This reframes the disorientation of early recovery as the opening move rather than evidence that something has gone permanently wrong. The same reframe underpins post-traumatic growth in stroke recovery (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/post-traumatic-growth-stroke-recovery/). And Jaemin is firm that this is solvable – not managed, not coped with. Solvable. Because the inadequacy you’ve been protecting everyone from isn’t real. It’s a conclusion you drew as a child and have been gathering evidence for ever since. There is no monster under the bed. Only the idea of one. Where to Start Start by being precise. When you catch yourself saying I lost my confidence, ask what you actually mean. Confidence at what? In front of whom? What exactly are you afraid would be revealed? Abstract language hides the levers. Precise language shows you where they are. Closing Links If this episode is useful to you, Bill’s book The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened covers ten tools for recovery and personal transformation – you can find it at https://recoveryafterstroke.com/book. If you would like one-on-one support with your own recovery, you can apply at https://recoveryafterstroke.com/momentum. If this show has helped you, you can support it at https://patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. Footer Disclaimer This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan. Losing Confidence After Stroke – Jaemin Frazer (Interview) You don’t need your old life back. You need to trust yourself again – and Jaemin Frazer explains exactly why that feels impossible after stroke. Highlights: 00:00 Introduction – Losing Confidence After Stroke 08:54 Embracing Uncertainty and Personal Resourcefulness 20:43 The Role of Self-Doubt and Insecurity 38:26 Transformational Journeys: Overcoming Obstacles 46:14 The Hero’s Journey and Storytelling 52:07 Understanding Bullies and Personal Growth 59:21 The Role of Parents in Identity Formation 01:11:17 The Cost of Insecurity in Recovery 01:20:55 Finding Purpose Beyond Insecurity Transcript: Introduction – Losing Confidence After Stroke Jaemin (00:00) A stroke puts you into survival mode, and now you’ve got no resources to survive because all your best resources are directed elsewhere So then it costs you everything. It costs you your future. It costs you your ability to heal, to make sense of this, to come out the other side and reinvent or do whatever you need to be present for yourself. It’s a slow descent into madness really, if all your best resources are proving and defending, covering and compensating, then you stop being human, you stop being alive, you stop being present, you become hypervigilant around what others are thinking, and your world keeps getting smaller. Bill Gasiamis (00:35) Welcome back to Recovery After Stroke. I’m Bill Gasciamas. Before anything else, thank you to everyone supporting the show on Patreon, becoming a YouTube member, and to everyone supporting it in all other ways. Sharing episodes, leaving reviews, sending them to someone who needs them, buying the book. This show has reached over a million and a half downloads because of people doing exactly that. And I don’t take it for granted. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, I just want to be who I was, this episode is going to sit with you for a while. My guest today is Jaemin Fraser. Jaemin is a coach, the founder of the Insecurity Project, a TEDx speaker, and as of this year, a novelist. He spent nearly two decades, around 16,000 coaching hours, on one problem. What happens to a person when they stop trusting themselves and what it costs them? Jaemin has not had a stroke. I want to be upfront about that because it’s the reason this conversation goes where it does. He came to it without any assumptions about what recovery is meant to look like. And what he brought instead is a very precise account of what happens to anyone whose ordered world falls apart overnight. We get into why wanting your odd life back is really a request for certainty. The difference between self-doubt, which is useful, and insecurity, which isn’t, why insecurity draws down the exact energy your brain needs to heal. What’s really going on when friends push back on your habits and why being lost and confused isn’t the tragedy, it’s the setup. Three quick things before we start, my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened, covers ten tools for recovery and personal transformation. It’s available at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. If you’d like one-on-one support with your own recovery, I walk I work with a small number of stroke survivors at a time. Structure, accountability, and genuine guidance from someone who’s been through it, you can apply at recoveryafterstroke.com/momentum. And if this show has helped you and you want to help me get to a thousand episodes, you can support it either as a YouTube member or by going to patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. I want to make sure that No strike survivor. has to ever go through what I went through when I first started my recovery, and that was not having any information about how to proceed after I got sent home from hospital. Now it’s time for the interview. Bill Gasiamis (03:14) Jaemin Fraser, welcome to the podcast. Jaemin (03:15) Thanks for having me, Bill. Bill Gasiamis (03:17) Absolute pleasure, mate. I wanted to ask, actually I want to start with the person listening. They’re anywhere from six weeks to twenty years post stroke, right? and what they say is they want to be back to their old life. In your experience, when someone says, I just want to be who I was, what are they actually asking for? Jaemin (03:39) Hmm, well, I think they’re looking for certainty. They’re looking for comfort. They’re looking for safety. Yeah, they’re looking through rose colored glasses in many ways because no one’s life was perfect before anything. So the fantasy of if I could go back to where I was, it deletes a whole bunch of stuff around the reality of where you were in the first place. But I think that the desire is it’s certainty, safety, peace, comfort. That’s what a person is driven to find some way or other. Bill Gasiamis (04:16) W what do you think it is about certainty? A and what does that even mean? Like I There was, you know, before my experience with stroke, there wasn’t anything that was certain. Is it an illusion? Is certainty an illusion? Because I definitely don’t feel certain about anything going forward either. but kind of not in a bad way. Like I don’t have a bad relationship with the lack of certainty. It’s just. It i it’s just not real. Like I feel like it might be an illusion. Jaemin (04:53) Well, I love Anthony Robbins take on this. I think his six core needs model is his finest contribution to the personal development space and his earliest versions of this, because I think if you were to do a search, Tony Robbins six core needs, what you’re going to get today is an idea that there’s a hierarchy of needs. So you could do a test to work out which needs are most important for you based on your personality type. That’s not how we first introduced them. And I am convinced it’s not actually how it works. So just a quick summary. He says, doesn’t matter what age, what sex, what culture, what stage of life, because you’re human, just as important as food, shelter, clothing is the need for certainty. Firstly, we are creatures who do not survive in chaos. We need some sense of control, order. We thrive in the familiar. We need a sense of what’s happening next. So we organize ourselves and we find certainty. We cannot survive without it. Interestingly though, we also need uncertainty. these six needs operate in paradox. Piers, are you familiar with the six core needs? Bill Gasiamis (06:07) I’m not actually. Jaemin (06:08) and variety is the first two and they operate in paradox pairs. So certainty pulls you one way, but we also need variety. If you have 100 % certainty, you’re completely bored and Bill Gasiamis (06:18) Uh-huh. Jaemin (06:19) you would ruin things. You’d mess it up so that there would be something to do. So we need uncertainty, surprise, spontaneity, adventure. But if you have 100 Bill Gasiamis (06:30) You’d mess it up i is is is messing it up because you need uncertainty, is that that sounds like like self sabotage. Jaemin (06:41) Well, it is if it’s unresourceful. is if you haven’t, I mean, the aim of the game is to find high quality internal resource, ways to meet these needs. If you don’t find that, then unconsciously, you’ll still find a way to meet these needs and it will be through sabotage, dysfunction, know. So certainty and variety are the first two. The second two are significance and love. So all humans need a sense of significance, need to know, I matter? Am I more than just a name and number? Do I have value? Is there any point to me? Now that’s a journey away from the tribe because we’re also relational beings. So we don’t survive in isolation. We need love, belonging, connection, warmth, touch. So if you have 100 % love and connection, you lose your separateness. And if you have 100 % significance, then you’re completely lonely and isolated. But we do need both. Embracing Uncertainty and Personal Resourcefulness So certainty, variety, significance, love, and then the final two are contribution and growth. So humans do feel the need to make a difference, add value, give back, leave a legacy, solve problems. So contribution is about adding value to others. And then growth is adding value to yourselves, to ourselves. Every living thing grows, you either grow or die. So this is the need that drives us to do more, to have more, to see more, to expand our experience. one way shape or another. it’s a strange thing to need certainty back to certainty. It’s a strange thing to need certainty for survival in an uncertain world because you then can’t help but cling to things that aren’t really certain and try and control them. Cling to a job you don’t like, cling to a memory that feels familiar, cling to a relationship that’s dysfunctional. cling to stuff that you know, because it makes you feel certain and makes you feel safe. There’s a predictability around it. What you’re describing is not that you’ve done away with the need for certainty. It’s that you have a certainty in your ability to handle the real world. So you don’t need to cling to things being a certain way. You don’t need to force things to be back the way they were. You’re like, that’s ridiculous. Here I am now and I’m certain. that I am a resourceful person, a creative person, a good person, a clever person, I’ll work it out. The real world will happen to me. I’ll wake up, I’ll open my eyes and I’ll handle it. That’s what I’m certain about. So the most resourceful form of certainty is to embrace uncertainty and back yourself. Bill Gasiamis (09:26) To be certain about uncertainty. Jaemin (09:28) There be certain uncertainty. That is the only certainty. It’s, you there’s you think, what is certain? well, the sun’s going to come up tomorrow. For some people, it’s not. Some people, this will be the last sunrise they ever see. No one’s expecting that, but it happens. So we’re not entitled to any more time, any more opportunity. That’s not certain. It’s not guaranteed. So yeah, the only certainty is it’s all uncertain. So then you must find certainty within, and that will require you to examine your own. your your capability, your own resourcefulness and to grow up and mature in your own sense of who you really are. Bill Gasiamis (10:06) Yeah. I have this saying that I picked up from somewhere. Some dude in the Middle East, like I think in the 40s or 50s, said this thing. I forget his name. I I always wanted to remember his name so I can give him credit, but it goes like exp expect the best, prepare for the worst. And it kind of feels like that’s how I handled my uncertainty when, you know, the doctor turns up day one. Of a bleed in the brain diagnosis and says, gives you the most vague version of the diagnosis and said to me, there’s a shadow on your brain. It could be a cancer, it could be a sea it could be a tumor that’s benign, it could be a bleed in the brain. Like, any questions? And I was like, Well. Jaemin (10:57) There’s a few. Bill Gasiamis (11:01) I don’t know, at eleven PM on a Friday night. Maybe not. Let’s talk in the morning. but it’s like And then after that came a lot of uncertainty. We didn’t know what a family life was gonna be like. We didn’t like know what my work life was gonna be like. We didn’t know whether I’d be around. We didn’t know any of the things that I kind of knew the day before, which I took for granted that I knew, which was only that w without knowing that there’s something wrong in my head and that potentially I’m unwell, I knew that. Tomorrow was going to be pretty much the same as yesterday. And there’s going to be some movement in a couple of similar directions, maybe a few odd ones and different ones. And I suppose that expect the best prepare for the worst was me embracing uncertainty, the certainty of uncertainty. Does that saying kind of capture that spirit? Jaemin (12:03) It certainly does. However, the challenge is no surprise. I’m going to talk about insecurity being a challenge because then it comes back to them. But then what do you believe about yourself? You know, do you feel like you’re actually up for the challenge? Do you have the resourcefulness? What is the story you tell around your own capacity, your capability, your intelligence, your value? Because to fear inadequacy then undermines your confidence in your own ability to handle the real world. And therefore you must then cling to external certainty and long for things to go back the way they were so that you can be safe. Because you don’t trust yourself to be up for the challenge. Bill Gasiamis (12:50) Yeah. It’s a real interesting conundrum because before I was unwell I didn’t contemplate life, me and how I interact with life or the possibility of nail life. I didn’t I didn’t contemplate that whole relationship and then you’re thrust in it and it seems like people that I’ve interviewed at least the four hundred odd stroke survivors that I’ve interviewed have not got the resources backfilled in preparation for when that day comes, and then you feel inadequate, insecure, perhaps, whatever the word is, that you can even handle this. I’ve never met anyone who said, I know, I was 100% certain that I was going to handle this diagnosis from my doctors. Can you prepare for the worst? Like that whole going back to that statement again, that saying, is there a way that we can even prepare for the worst when we don’t even know what the worst is? Is it even is it sounds like it might be might be a futile pursuit? Jaemin (14:07) Whoa. I I think you and I here today are doing that exact thing, you know, with internal resourcefulness. We don’t know what tomorrow is bringing. So in some ways we are certain in our capacity to, you know, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. So that’s not futile. I don’t consider that futile at all. And I think that is the only job is to resource yourself for the real world, is to grow up, is to become mature. The way that I think about that is self-sufficiency. You when you’re young, you’re growing through stages of development and really learning self-sufficiency. Can you feed yourself? Can you dress yourself? Can you learn yourself? Can you drive a car? Can you earn money? And they’re all the things, physical, financial, self-sufficiency, but people are… seem, you know, it’s see when it comes to emotional, intellectual, psychological self sufficiencies, like what is that? How does that even work? And so they come into their adult world, being able to earn money, being able to drive a car, out, address themselves, you know, wipe their own ass. Great. But when it comes to validating their own existence, when it comes to sourcing their own certainty, when it comes to deeply loving and accepting themselves, when it comes to being the one that approves of themselves, that sees themselves. you know, adults are typically ill prepared for that, you know, stroke Bill Gasiamis (15:38) Mm-hmm. Jaemin (15:38) or no stroke. And so, you know, you know, we’re talking about when a stroke happens, but people have all kinds of catastrophes they’re not prepared for, you know, and things are fine because their ordered world is safe and predictable. And then next day it’s not. And they look inside and they’ve never developed the resources, the internal resources of adulthood that helps them stand solid when the world is falling around apart. about them. you know, primarily that is the work of the insecurity project. It’s these conversations around existential angst, which people don’t prepare for because their world’s ordered. But when your world falls apart, then you really see how unprepared you are to handle difficulty and the worst case scenario if you have not examined your own sense of who you are. Bill Gasiamis (16:29) Mm-hmm. The world being ordered, it can be ordered in a dysfunctional way as well, right? Jaemin (16:39) Well, that’s, yes, that’s exactly what happens because we need certainty. I love thinking about these six core needs as a vacuum. In our atmosphere, a vacuum is always filled. So someone says to me, I don’t need that much certainty. You know, I’m more of a risk taker, I’m adventurous, or they might, someone else might be the opposite. I need so much certainty, I’m very risk averse. you know, someone looks at one of my clients recently looked at me and says, you’re a free spirit. You’re adventurous. It’s different. It’s different from me. You know, I’m very analytical. I’m risk averse. I’m safety conscious. But if you zoom out and have a look at both of us, I need just as much certainty as that person. Exactly. I can’t survive without certainty. I can’t survive without order. It’s just that I’ve found a high quality, internal adult way to order my world so that I have internal safety. which then frees me to go into the world and experience uncertainty and play. Whereas this other person has not found an internal way to create order. So they’re clinging to all the dysfunctional external forms of order. Hate their Bill Gasiamis (17:47) Wow. Jaemin (17:47) job, relationships falling apart, don’t like their relationship with money, know, problems here, difficulties there, but it’s familiar. So I better cling to it because I know it. There you go, there’s some certainty for you. Bill Gasiamis (18:03) I love what you said, like that internal sense of certainty Jaemin (18:06) Hmm Bill Gasiamis (18:07) seems to be the biggest l skill lacking in many, many people. If you have internal sense of certainty, then you don’t have to control the outside world. You put the dishwasher plate in the wrong direction. You know, when we loaded the dishwasher, y this might be revealing. you park the car in the wrong bay, or you know, all these little things that people kind of cling to to make their world feel right if they see it like that. If everyone just did the task the way that they needed to do it, then I wouldn’t have a problem, right? But if you have internal certainty and you can be more flexible, I think Tony Robbins talks about being having multiple ways to be to be. being more flexible, then you realize that there are infinite number of ways that things can be loaded into a dishwasher, for example, even though there are certainly some ways that won’t be able to wash the dishes effectively, perhaps, but there are many ways, and the other person’s ways not necessarily the wrong way or the odd way or or the incorrect way, right? Jaemin (19:30) Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (19:31) I think I resonate with that immediately, that internal sense of certainty. And then the external world becomes easier to navigate. Is that is that Jaemin (19:44) Well, does because then play becomes possible and you don’t need things to be anything other than they are, know, good, bad or indifferent. You have an experience that looks terrible. Well, are you sure it’s terrible? Or could there be learning? Could there be a gift? Could there be an opportunity? Might you meet someone? Might your life change in an unexpected way? Like who’s to say a bad experience is actually a bad experience if you’re free to encounter it as it is. The Role of Self-Doubt and Insecurity That’s what becomes possible if you have internal safety and that you do back yourself to handle that. And I think it’s an abstract concept for most people because they’ve never faced their fear of their deep inadequacy. And so it’s always undermined. They would love to take internal certainty, but their conviction, if they’re really honest, and it’s hard to be honest, because this stuff gets pretty well suppressed. Their honest fear is that there is a problem with them. There is an inadequacy. They are not up to the challenge. So if they rely on themselves, they will be found lacking and wanting. So therefore they must look outside themselves. That’s their only option. Bill Gasiamis (20:53) Got it. You’ve worked with high performers for hundreds and maybe thousands of hours, right? if one of them walked into you into a meeting with you and said, I had a stroke and I lost my confidence, what what’s the first thing you ask them? Jaemin (21:15) What do you mean? That would be the first thing that I asked them. I understand a little about a stroke. think I would understand enough about that part of the sentence, but I’m more curious around the second part of the sentence. I love Jordan Peterson’s thinking in so many ways. And he says, listen, be precise in your speech because things that go unnamed become monsters that consume you. So that would be where I would start. What do you mean I lost this happened and that made me do this? Are you sure? That’s how it actually worked. What do you mean? Let’s have a look. Let’s have a look. So that’s my whole world is someone comes to me with a level of abstraction. They use language that’s abstract. And when you use abstract language, you cannot see any of the levers that can be pulled. And so you end up feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. When you be precise, when you have a look, you actually begin to see the mechanics, the structures that are actually influencing your experience. And when you see them precisely, the levers become apparent, like, I could actually adjust that. I could turn this, I could change this. Therefore now I’m back in control of my own experience of my reality. So yeah, that’s where I say, what do you mean? What are you talking about exactly? Bill Gasiamis (22:37) I love that. It’s it reminds me of when I hear the word the one of the most common words I hear in my interview, stroke recovery, stroke conversations. And I I’m specifically talking about stroke because that’s my niche, right? That’s my audience, that’s the podcast. But I know this is a situation kind of that I experience also broadly outside of my stroke podcast world. my children, others that I come across is I hear the word depression and anxiety. And it’s an umbrella word that people place on so many experiences and nobody ever even really knows if if I challenge if I have the permission and and I’m in a room with the right person to challenge them and ask them, well, do you do you know what the definition of depression is? And do you know what the definition of anxiety is? Nobody can really give you that. And they’ve taken a word and they apply it to an experience that may have been completely separate from the intended definition of a word like depression and anxiety. And I I kind of feel like that’s what you’re saying. Like somebody says, I’m I’m depressed, like, okay, like, why? How? How do you know that? Jaemin (24:00) It’s exactly anxiety is a great story because I go, well, hang on. How did you, how are you anxious? And anxiety requires a backstory to survive. So I’m curious, you know, are you anxious tying your shoes? No. how do you do not anxiety? Well, I don’t know. No one cares. I can’t fail. I’ve done it a million times. there you go. That’s interesting. So the, the areas that you are not anxious about, there’s no possibility of being found inadequate. Curious. So the areas you are anxious, you’re only anxious because there’s something about the activity you’re involved in, which you feel threatened, personally threatened that someone might see your flaw. So let’s not worry about the anxiety, it’s downstream. Tell me about this perceived flaw. Tell me about this thing that you think is wrong with you. Are you sure that’s even there? The great humor of my work in the same as what you’re saying, know, insecurity. Talking about fear, my first question to people, what are you afraid of? And no one knows. People are experiencing fear. They can tell you that much. So what you’re running and hiding, but what are you running and hiding from? yeah, it’s just this, you know, I just feel so, like, okay, interesting. So you’re running and hiding. What about if we go and have a look at what it is you’re running and hiding from? You might be surprised. In fact, You will be surprised. promise you it’s not what you think it is. And you’ve just been running and hiding for so long. You’ve just become convinced that there’s a thing here that you ought to keep running and hiding from. I’m not so sure. Bill Gasiamis (25:41) Yeah. That what are you afraid of? That’s a very interesting question. Again, you know, I find myself in the hot seat here. And every time I ventured down something new, it was interesting now ’cause I’m reflecting like how often insecurity came up. You know, the first few episodes of the podcast were, my God, people are going to judge it, they’re gonna say it’s no good, you don’t know how to interview, all that kind of stuff. And the the best thing to do was just put it out there. And if somebody did say that was handle it. And if somebody didn’t say that, well then there was nothing to handle. So just do it anyway. And I remember then also with my book, I’m not an author. I did I’m not a scholar. I’ve never done any of that stuff. But I wrote my first book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened. It’s a pretty loaded title. And I knew it was gonna ruffle some feathers. But I put it out there and the very first comment that I got from the very first post that I made was a negative one. And what I realized was that pattern was similar in that when I started the podcast, I had the exact same concern that it might happen and it did. People did give me negative feedback. But then it seems to me now now that I’ve learnt a few times, you know, what happens when you put yourself out there for the first time when you tell the world this is what I’ve created, you know, I’m sharing my creation is part of the journey has to be something that’s gonna test your insecurity. It might not be a negative comment or so but it but it might be like bad sales or it might be nobody listens or whatever. So it sounds like insecurity is necessary in some cases to kind of overcome, to tackle it, to overcome it, so that you can be better at tackling it and overcoming it and achieve more things. Do you know what I’m saying? Did I explain that correctly? Jaemin (27:54) Yeah, I think I understand. I don’t think I agree with you though. Bill Gasiamis (27:58) Okay. Jaemin (27:59) So here’s how I’d think about it. I’d separate self-doubt and insecurity into slightly different categories. Bill Gasiamis (28:07) Okay, so you picked up self doubt there. Jaemin (28:10) So, so self doubts are really important quality of wisdom. So for instance, I’ve got a mate who races super bikes, you know, say he got injured this weekend and he says, Jaemin, you know, there’s still four rounds left. Can you sub in for me and race my super bike next week? And I’m like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I’ve never raced a super bike before. I do have a motorbike license, but you know, if I didn’t have severe self doubt, I’d be delusional. I’d be a crazy person and I would be, you know, dangerous to myself and the world. So self doubt doesn’t, doesn’t tell me I’m a bad person. It just highlights the limit of the things I’m good at. So, so the real function of self doubt to me is more what you’re describing. It’s, it’s the limit says, you’re not actually very good at this. Now that doesn’t say anything about your essence, your value and your worth. Would you like to be good at this? And I go. Actually, no, great. Well, then don’t do it. Don’t do it because it’ll go bad. I’m like, Yeah, I’d actually like to be good at it. excellent. Well, you have a massive skill gap. So go take however long to learn the skills and fill the skills so that you can come back with genuine confidence with earn confidence so that you could compete in this arena and do well. That’s that’s a wisdom conversation. Now insecurity is this personal piece. It’s like, I’m gonna put myself out there. people are gonna judge, laugh, critique, and then they’ll see who I really am. They will see my flaws, my flaws, my inadequacies will now be exposed to the world. Now it’s personal. And so to me, the definition of insecurity is really important here because people think insecurity is somehow related to the fear of what others think about them, the fear of being judged, the fear of failing, the fear of being rejected. Bill Gasiamis (30:04) Hmm. Right. Jaemin (30:05) Really imprecise. That’s not that’s not insecure at all. It’s just one or two levels deeper than that. You know, say for instance, the fear of failure, which is a typical one. And no one’s actually afraid of failing. They’re afraid of the personal implications of failure. I if I try my best at something, and then it doesn’t work. Huh? What have I just revealed to the world about me the problem with me? Same as rejection. No one’s actually afraid of being rejected. They’re afraid of, if I put my best foot forward and it’s not enough, and then people don’t accept me, huh, what does that reveal? What does that prove? What does that confirm about my own inadequacy? So then insecure. Bill Gasiamis (30:47) about what I about what I think are my inadequacies. Because it’s not about the other Jaemin (30:50) Exactly, that’s insecurity. Insecurity is… Bill Gasiamis (30:53) person’s thinking, it’s me, what I think, and then they’re confirming my inadequacy that I’ve Jaemin (30:56) confirming it. That’s it. That’s it. Bill Gasiamis (30:58) generated and created, which is not even real. Jaemin (31:01) That’s exactly right. That’s the thing, which is hilarious. But when you see that now the levers become apparent, because if the fear is out there, then you got to control the world constantly and obsess about it. But if the fear is here and you created it, then the levers are very apparent. You could then go examine this perceived inadequacy, trace it back to when you first described it and examine it at its roots. Like you could go on a structural engineering quest back into the the substance of your own sense of you, the language you’ve used to describe yourself and check it, check it for integrity, check it for gaps, check it for misunderstandings. Like that’s the fun of what I get to do. It’s take what appears to be abstract, mysterious, messy, unknowable and treat it like a structural engineer just by examining the structure of language. Bill Gasiamis (31:57) People don’t do that much, do they? Jaemin (31:59) No, no, no. And people are insecure about being insecure. So like when I launched the insecurity project, my business coach said, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Like you’ve picked the most difficult, scary topic and put it at the front. No one’s going to be putting their hands up saying, Jay, when I’m insecure, can you help me? Like it’s existential angst. It’s the human condition. We want to be good. We’re just afraid that we’re not. So we run and we hide and we cover and compensate. So yeah, it’s a hard topic to face and yet the great joke is there’s no actual reason for it to be hard other than the confirmation bias we’ve given ourselves buying into our own bullshit, confirming our own fiction, exasperating our own misunderstanding. So there is no monster under the bed. It’s just the idea of a monster that terrifies us. Bill Gasiamis (32:55) we influenced in that way by external sources or is that a a human a human thing like that that we are kind of pre-programmed to do just because of that whole safety issue because you know safety comes in in a variety of different things. You know, you have to be safe from people entering your home, you know, back in the day and harming you and your family and taking your belongings. If you’re in a war torn area, you have to be safe from, you know, the invaders and that kind of stuff. But also this discussion that we’re having seems to me, as you keep going into those little beautiful deep places, it seems to me that Again, it’s about us creating like many barriers of safety around us and thinking that that’s the perhaps not even thinking like in just instinctively creating this kind of like multi layered safe structure that we can’t be harmed in. Jaemin (34:06) brilliant way of describing it. And that is the instinct. We are hardwired for safety. You cannot like this idea, more courage, less fear, feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s such a nonsense as though you could turn off your need for safety. Bill Gasiamis (34:20) Mm-hmm. Jaemin (34:21) It’s chemical, it’s biological, it’s psychological, it’s unconscious. And that as the child, the child starts in a very carefree, non-transactional experience of being themselves. I’m just here, not. doing the dishes and not mowing the lawn and not contributing to my ecosystem in any way, shape or form. And yet I’m being rewarded, loved, nurtured, cared for, praised, fed. Hmm, turns out it’s fine to be me. I can be relaxed and at ease being me, me as I am without performing, without achieving, without contributing is enough. Great. And then, then you, you know, you get somewhere past two, you know, somewhere around that the game breaks down. And all of a sudden you’re expected to participate, to perform, to conform, to behave. And no child’s prepared for that. No one’s ready for that. Such a surprise. And so the first time the child gets surprised, embarrassed, disappointed, upset, scolded, it’s such a confusing experience, but all the alarm, those safety warning lights are going off through their whole being. There’s a danger you didn’t know about. You. must pay attention and here’s the thing the danger is in you the danger is you’re not who you need to be to survive in this world so don’t be you ever again like be other than you be better than you be different than you do not ever show up present and unguarded ever again or it will turn to shit so yes it’s safe so then you build this safe world this safe persona these safe structures these familiar places where people think you’re good, think you’re smart, think you’re strong. Also, they never see the thing that you don’t want them to see, which would be the ultimate danger and then you die. Yeah, it’s entirely about a biological, chemical, psychological need for safety that is unavoidable. Bill Gasiamis (36:21) Hmm. It what came up in my mind while you were chatting about that is often stroke survivors need to make some radical changes in their life, the way they go about their nutrition, who they hang out with, the stuff they listen to and read, the whole the whole thing. Like, know, it’s sometimes it’s a line in the sand moment and everything changes, and you’ve got to change everything I did. And One of the challenges that stroke survivors have, well, I’ll talk about me. I had the challenge of, well, I needed to stop smoking and I needed to stop drinking. But all my extended family and friends were smokers and drinkers. And stroke survivors often comment about how they lose friends after a stroke. And we’re I and I’ve kind of tried to unravel that a few times and understand what it is that makes it difficult for people to evolve and and adapt and grow and stop the behaviors that perhaps led to a stroke, you know, so that they don’t have another one. And family and friends often do that. They kind of intervene in a way which says, Well, what do you mean we can’t have a drink when we go out? Like that’s we always go and have a drink. And then that person has has to explain themselves, perhaps, or conform again, just to be part of the group. The question is, are we also dealing with the insecurities of our family and friends when we find a way to overcome our own insecurities, perhaps, about something, and then we start to change and evolve and move forward? Are they are those people feeling like Transformational Journeys: Overcoming Obstacles They’re left behind. Th sometimes the sometimes the sentences that people hear when they try and stop smoking or drinking in a particular situation are you’ve changed. You know, like it’s a bad thing. But it’s not said in a positive way. People experience it on both sides of the coin in a negative way. The person who’s saying to their friend who’s had a stroke, who’s trying to not have another one, is saying, You’ve changed and I don’t like the way you’ve changed. And the person changing is hearing I’m changing and now people are having a bad experience because I’m changing. Like What’s all that about with that other person in our life? Jaemin (38:59) Such a great question. Can I, genuine question, can I take five minutes to answer that question? Bill Gasiamis (39:07) You can, absolutely. Jaemin (39:09) because I think this opens up a possibility for a window into a whole different experience of life if you’re willing to go down this thought experiment. Bill Gasiamis (39:23) I am. Let me switch my header off. It’s getting too hot in here. Jaemin (39:31) So I’ve just finished writing my first novel. It’s a five year project. I thought it was impossible. And then it out it wasn’t. It turns out I learned a lot about myself and the process of writing. And it’s been a thoroughly delightful experience. But great storytelling, great fiction writing typically follows some kind of hero’s journey trajectory. You’ve got a small, weak, lost, strange hero who for whatever reason says yes to a cold wood venture and embarks on a journey of self-discovery and eventually has to go do the thing that only they can do along the way they meet a wisdom character. You know, there’s a Gandalf, there’s a Yoda, there’s a Dumbledore, Mr. Miyagi, but eventually the hero’s got to go face the biggest fear and do the thing that’s impossible. And when they do, they come out the other side transformed and then they return home with that transformation and their whole world benefits. So, so it is the process of transformation. It’s the process of potential. It’s the process of destiny. It’s the process of seeing a person fulfilled in their experience of themselves. So a writer is bringing you in, in along for that journey. Now, if the writer transforms the hero magically or supernaturally, it’s a horrible story. You know, if the writer goes, you know, here’s the weak person. They went to sleep and they woke up the next day transformed. Who knows what happened. It was just, you’re like, really? What’s the point of that story? Like, that’s a horrible story. If the transformation happens in a way that’s supernatural or magic, it’s false. The transformation happens through overcoming of obstacles. The weakling becomes strong by overcoming resistance. And the resistance is almost always through the form of characters. So the writer says, stage, write the bully and to stage, write the villain, the parent, the trickster, the joker, the judge, the king, like, and so the hero doesn’t know the story is being written about them. And so experiences all these characters very personally and wishes the characters would go away. But the audience kind of sees the gift in the character, sees the opportunity. You know, when the audience sees a bully harassing a victim, what the audience is rooting for is that the victim would rise up and punch the bully in the nose. And something transformational happens if that victim ever does, you know, they actually then receive the bully’s gift. All along the bully had this gift of personal power delivered in the form of oppression. And because the victim had to find such deep strength that they didn’t even know existed to rise up and finally say this ends here, they’ll never be the victim again. And so in that way they’re transformed. So you could make a case to go, thanks, bully for being a good bully because you made my life so hard. I didn’t think it was possible to overcome you. Thank you. It’s not personal. So a writer then is not going to write an empathetic bully, you know, a very emotionally intelligent, compassionate, they’re going to write a thug. They’re going to write a dullard. They’re going to write someone who’s big and does not change. And even though the, the hero wants to bully the change. If the bully changes, if the bully goes to a spiritual retreat and comes home and change man and then apologizes and makes it up to the victim, it’s kind of nice, but the audience is going, but the victim didn’t have to become stronger in any way. So they’re still just as strong and the next bully is coming and they’re no better prepared. So all that to say, love, I love treating our own lives like this hero’s journey story. I love gamifying the experience. I love going. You know, this insecurity, a lot of people think if only I had a different experience at childhood, then I wouldn’t be so insecure now. If only there weren’t so many difficult people blocking my path, then it would be easier for me. Like, what, do you mean? Like that’s, that’s not the tragedy. That’s the setup. That’s how the game begins. Like that’s how the tensions created so that you have a gift of being able to overcome. So these people exist for you. And yes, they’re in your way. Great. Yes, they’re making it hard. Perfect. But we only play hard games. Like if you’re, you’re playing footy and it’s, you know, last year’s premieres versus the under 10s girls side and you win, you, that’s a very embarrassing experience. Like you don’t eat. That’s a horrible thing. You, know, this year’s premieres, you know, sorry, last year’s premieres versus the team that’s got undefeated this year and you win that game. You know, that’s, that’s a meaningful experience. and yeah, I love this idea that everyone comes into their twenties and thirties lost and confused. And most people are really upset about that. Wishing that their experience up till then had been different and feeling disqualified from a meaningful life because of what’s happened, because of who said this and who’s done that. But if you just zoom out and say it like a hero’s journey or a beautiful game, then then you realize, no, no, no, being lost and confused, oppressed, you know, that doesn’t disqualify you. That’s what qualifies you to go play. Now you can begin, now you can begin this journey of self-discovery to go all the way back to the beginning and see who you’ve always been all along. So it’s a very different way of thinking about life, but I’m constantly confronted with people who treat the stuff that’s happened to them as wounds. And the best you could ever hope for is that eventually you could bring healing to yourself and it become a visible scar that doesn’t really afflict you. Whereas this says, yeah, what if those things, what if life doesn’t happen to you? It happens for you. And the real gift is your own opportunity to rediscover who you’ve always been by overcoming obstacles and especially in the form of people and especially in the form of insecure people. who of course are going to make your journey difficult. Of course, you know, not everyone’s cheering you on. Eventually the heroes got to go alone. Eventually they’ve got to. If they don’t go alone, then they can’t do the thing that only they can do. The Hero’s Journey and Storytelling Bill Gasiamis (46:01) Yeah. Man, that was well well worth the f the the time that you allocated to answer it because it’s such an important part of recovery after anything. and In fact, I learnt about the Heroes Journey after my brain surgery. So we’re talking about I don’t know. I think I got out of hospital for after brain surgery in late 2014. And I think it was around 2017 I did a particular course that I was in. It was a behavioral modeling course and it was about modeling a behavior that we thought was one worth other people learning and repeating. And the The person who was running the course, awesome friend of mine and mentor and teacher, a gentleman called Marvin Oka, he spoke about the hero’s journey as part of this course to teach us about like how to tell a story. And I hadn’t grasped the concept very well. but because of that course, my first book was able to become a reality. It took four years for me to. make that happen. And I released it in twenty twenty twenty three, somewhere there. And since then I’ve done a bit of a deep dive into the hero’s journey and understanding how to take people through a story. And my next book is structured that way. There’s a moment where life is quote unquote normal and then there’s an event and then there’s everything, you know, there’s been a spanner thrown in the works and everything is not like it used to be. And now there is this post-traumatic growth experience that you can go on. And if you know you’re going on it, it’s easier to go on it. But some people are not aware that they might be going on this journey. They’re just programmed from a previous way of doing life that these things are all terrible and bad and they’re not good. And there’s no growth and there’s no learning and there’s no opportunity. But there but there is, but we just framed it. in our past way of thinking and that’s not applicable now, even though we’re still trying to apply it, apply it, apply it. And what you said about the the bully, I remember at school, if if I was a victim, bullies used to seek me out like like a mosquito knows who to go and sting, right? Jaemin (48:40) Yeah Bill Gasiamis (48:42) But then the first bully I punched in the nose was was it. That was the key to unlocking the whole how other people perceived me in those types of situations. And then none of the bullies turned up to have a go because they weren’t gonna get or or perhaps they saw that my response was going to affect their insecurities about themselves. Right. and realistically when I was going through stroke, stopping smoking, stopping drinking, stopping attending the particular venues where smoking and drinking happened so that I can avoid smoking and drinking. It meant that certain people couldn’t associate with me anymore. And It’s not that they were bullies, but when I learnt how to manage that situation once, the others that now I that I now interact with don’t require us to interact in a way that includes smoking and drinking in a particular venue. We can have just as meaningful interactions without the smoking and drinking, without being in that venue, just being in a different location. Doing a different thing. And and there’s no n and and no one feels bad about that interaction. I don’t feel about bad about it because I’m not partaking in something that the other person wants me to partake in. And the other person’s not feeling bad because they’re partaking in something that I’m not partaking in. And we’re there for the same reason. We’re there for the catch up. We’re not there for the smoking and the drinking. Jaemin (50:26) Yeah, and that’s often the way when you break through an archetypal character, a bully is a great example. It’s not uncommon that there becomes a level of respect, a mutual respect post that violence or post the standing up for yourself. And it’s not unheard of that bullies and victims become friends and respect each other. And so there Bill Gasiamis (50:50) Mm. Jaemin (50:50) must become a line in the sandwich like, whatever it costs me, If I, you know, the smoking drinking example, if you never talked to me ever again, if you cannot, then that will be okay. But I cannot go here ever again. And I won’t and you cannot make me and I won’t be made. And so there it is. Great. That your audience is watching that cheering. Yes, transformed. Never be victim again. And then on the other side of that, it’s often surprising what happens in those relationships. And it’s not uncommon for mutual respect, even though It’s not guaranteed and you have to be willing to let go of it completely. Because yeah, the hero’s got to go alone. Bill Gasiamis (51:33) we we’re talking about it like, you know, you know, we’re kinda having a a t a philosophical conversation, an intellectual conversation. We’re doing all of this stuff. And I remember being literally on the football pitch fighting with a kid, and then once we’d thrown the punches and everyone had done what they had to do in that moment, it was are we are we done? All good? And and it was. We were done. And we were all good. And it was instinctive. Like I wasn’t even ten years old or eleven years old or something. And yeah, then we got along forever. Understanding Bullies and Personal Growth Jaemin (52:08) A quicker side, but on the very same thread, if you keep thinking about characters like archetypes, do you know the hardest, but the most exciting, the most wonderful and the most, the biggest opportunity that the person in your life or the people in your life to treat as characters, not the bullies, any idea what makes the top of my list in terms of the characters with the biggest opportunity for growth. Bill Gasiamis (52:39) Just I’m kinda drawn to say family, my family, but Jaemin (52:42) family and parents make the top of the list. And I think Bill Gasiamis (52:46) Yeah, right. Jaemin (52:47) Sigmund Freud’s greatest contribution was that the nest is the hardest challenge for the human to break free from the nest is number one. And all this function ultimately comes from the nest, the familial relationships, exerting unconscious pressures from the parent of the child and the child with the parent outliving their usefulness. And so But in the same way, like no victim when they’re being bullied wants to see it like an archer, like wants to say it like a gift. They want to be rescued or they want the bully to change. It’s impossible to face a bully. Same with the parents. It’s like, don’t understand. This is my dad. You don’t understand. Like it’s just, you know, blood is thicker than water. You got to be there for family. Like it’s just how it’s Bill Gasiamis (53:30) Mm. Jaemin (53:30) always been. The way my parents make me feel like no one wants that tension. and would hope that the tension just goes away. But if you see it like a great story, it provides the greatest opportunity for your own sovereignty. You know, the bully’s gift is personal power. The parent’s gift is sovereignty. Because when you were born into their world, it’s like you’re born into a kingdom, king and queen on the throne, and it’s their arbitrary rules. In this world, this is how we do it. You don’t like it, bugger off down the street. But here, you know, do this, don’t do that. Why, dad? Don’t ask why, just do what I say. So the parental relationship, parents are right even when they’re wrong. And that’s a really important distinction for the nature of those relationships. And so you are a subject inside a kingdom, their rules, their map of the world, their right, even when they’re wrong. And it’s incredibly hard to break free from that to create your own map of the world and Bill Gasiamis (54:29) Mm. Jaemin (54:29) for you to be the king. But if you see it like a setup and a game, well then, Freud says, you must live as though your father is dead. You must depose the king. So Bill Gasiamis (54:42) Mm. Jaemin (54:42) if the king gets off the throne, if the king bows down to you, if the king goes, you your map of the world now is better than my map of the world, your way of thinking is better than my way of thinking, then there’s no challenge, there’s no resistance to overcome. So my favorite way of describing the role of the parents then is actually, It’s not to love and support and empower. They might do all that, but their central function in the hero’s journey is to confuse you about who you really are. Bill Gasiamis (55:12) Wow. Jaemin (55:13) so that the game can begin. Like everyone comes into their 20s lost and confused and the primary confuses our parents because they impose their map of the world. They have their own sense of who you are and what you ought to do. And it doesn’t suit a single person to be born into the family they’re born into. And yet here you are having to adapt and fit in to a pre-existing ecosystem with rules, values, culture, and then you’re given that name. So it’s like, You are this, this is who you are. It’s like, no, it’s just a bit of Bill Gasiamis (55:46) Wow. Jaemin (55:47) language like Jaemin Fra- I’m not Jaemin Fraser. What do you mean? Like, I was born into a family and those words were put on me. That’s not who I am. And so the confusion of growing up thinking that’s exactly who I am, this is the limit of my experience of life. And I cling to this as my whole certainty. is so wonderful because it’s the ultimate resistance to break out of, to examine the structure of that, to examine the confusion and really go back and reparent yourself and really be the one who actually knows who you’ve always been and to nurture that into the real world and then to become sovereign. And you know you’re sovereign when you become the one who’s right, even when they’re wrong. So you’ve got friends and family saying, what do you mean? It’s not. You need to be able to have a smoke. got to be able to drink. That’s what everyone does. Not in my kingdom, we don’t. In my kingdom, Bill Gasiamis (56:39) Mm. Jaemin (56:39) we don’t smoke and we don’t drink. You’re an idiot. That’s stupid. Well, I’m the king and this is my sovereignty. And if you want to come play in my world, this is how it works. And so, so many people are faced with those challenges. Then they keep pulling back from the edge because of their relational cost, hoping, wishing the world would go easier on them. But if you see it like a story in a game, it’s like, it’s a setup. It’s all a setup. So you could be the one who unconfuses yourself by having to overcome the relational resistance in your world and discover who you’ve always been. Bill Gasiamis (57:15) And we know it innately because we’ve all had that dad, mom, whomever, like I did what I had to do when I was in your house. Now this is my house. Now they this is how it applies. If you don’t Jaemin (57:26) Yeah. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (57:27) like it, you don’t like it. Like I’ve actually thrown my dad out of my house in my twenties, when we moved out because my wife and I got married and we had kids and whatever, and they’d come over and visit to see the grandkid. You know, my dad would do the whole over helicopter grandparenting, you know. You know, the kids cold or the kids this and the kids that, you know, we lived this with this kid twenty four hours a day, seven days a week for five, six years, you know, like we knew its needs, you know, my my son’s needs. And my dad just wouldn’t have it that we what we were saying wasn’t that we were saying was correct or was okay or was fine or whatever, you know, we were it was everythi

If you were here for our episode on studying abroad in the UK- we've got a continuation of it!Loro is back from the UK and he's here to share how much he's missed home! To celebrate this Merdeka season, we talk about everything that makes us truly Malaysian, and what we love about Malaysia while attempting to avoid the obvious answer (food). Spoiler: we fail.Wishing everyone a Selamat Hari Merdeka!

The Torah gives allowance for a soldier at war to take a Yefas Toar and be Migayer her, lest he come to take her even if she were forbidden. Can he force her to accept the Mitzvos against her will? Since when does the Torah make allowances for us the Yetzer Hara? Aren't only the biggest Tzaddikim allowed in the army, shouldn't they be stronger than this?Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos 

This solo podcast episode is about partnering with other businesses and non-profits to draw amazing photography clients to us, by creating alliances. I share a photography "thank you gift" program that benefits the other business that has a similar perfect client base, and brings them right to your door. Woo hoo!The number one question I hear over and over, from new photographers and those in the business for many years, is how to attract ideal clients... people that will love what we do, be wonderful to work with, and "show us the M O N E Y"...ie...happily invest well in what we offer. Where the heck are these people? Well, they are shopping, enjoying services like spa treatments, dining at gourmet restaurants, buying homes, traveling, having their pets groomed, planning events, and such. I go over the steps in this photography marketing strategy to determine -what businesses might share your ideal client base-what to offer the business as a thank you gift to their best patrons-the importance of presentation-and details to help this be a big win for everyoneSo many of my super smart guests have talked about the power of Direct Response Marketing and this is one example of how to create this type of program that really works. Don't miss it!Wishing you continued success, LuciConnect with Photography Business Coach Luci Dumas: Website Email: luci@lucidumas.comInstagram FacebookYouTubeNew episodes drop every week — make sure to subscribe so you never miss an inspiring guest or a powerful solo episode designed to help you grow your photography business.

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Pause, breathe, and return to yourself now."Renew and Restore" is designed to help you release tension, replenish your energy, and cultivate inner peace. May these affirmations leave you feeling grounded, refreshed, and ready to move forward with greater ease. If this episode was helpful and you want to leave a tip, simply go to AffirmationPod.com/TipJarThe sister episode to this one is Episode 468 Ten Empowering Questions to Reset https://AffirmationPod.com/TenEmpoweringQuestionToResetReady to change the way you think and start seeing real results?Want to start thinking more positively and feel more confident?Secure your one-on-one affirmations coaching spot at AffirmationPod.com/CoachingWANT MORE EPISODES LIKE THIS ONE? Episode 602 Coming Back from the Lows https://AffirmationPod.com/ComingBackFromTheLows Episode 596 Giving to Yourself https://AffirmationPod.com/GivingToYourself Episode 462 20 Minute Self-Love Affirmations https://AffirmationPod.com/20MinuteSelfLoveAffirmations Episode 413 Coming Out of a Slump https://AffirmationPod.com/OutOfASlump Episode 369 Coming Back to Self-Compassion ⁠https://AffirmationPod.com/ComingBacktoSelf-Compassion⁠ Episode 364 Coming Back to Self-Love ⁠https://AffirmationPod.com/ComingBacktoSelfLove⁠ Episode 348 Coming Back to Healthy Habits https://AffirmationPod.com/HealthyHabits Episode 162 Coming Back from a Setback https://AffirmationPod.com/ComingBack HERE'S WHAT LISTENERS ARE SAYING

Today is the total solar eclipse in Leo. Without the context of Astrology, it is hard to comprehend what is happening during an eclipse season, why things feel so intense, and major events are taking place in people's lives and the world around us at a more accelerated rate. This episode is about understanding the context of the shadow of eclipse season, and why it is not about darkness, but exposing more light to reveal what has been hidden in plain view that hasn't been acknowledged. Follow my Substack, where you can read about this eclipse and learn more about the symbolism there. If you are interested in Astrology or Coaching, get in touch here. Healing, awareness, and personal growth tools are so important. Wishing you ease in your process.

Wherever you are today, this biblical meditation, narrated by James Seawood, offers a quiet space to pause and reconnect with God. Wishing you were stronger? Meditate on 2 Corinthians 12:9. Abide is a Christian meditation app that helps you experience peace and grow in your relationship with Christ through Scripture, prayer, and reflection. Try Abide free for 30 days and explore our premium, ad-free meditations here: https://abide.com/peace Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

In this episode, you'll hear a Daily Reminder from Ji Kwang Dae Poep Sa Nim about how wonderful it is to have faith in the Three Jewels—Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha—and to walk the path of kindness. As an example, Dae Poep Sa Nim writes about a practitioner who is walking this path conscientiously and with great success.Thank you very much, Ji Kwang Dae Poep Sa Nim.Wishing you much joy,Yours in the dharma Gak Duk

There is a whole lot of worrying, waiting and wondering going on. After taking something he rarely takes—a real vacation—Stan Hustad returned to Inconvenient Ideas with five days away from television, computers and the daily digital noise. The occasion was a significant wedding anniversary, celebrated with his wife, Karen, along the North Carolina coast. It also came after a difficult season marked by loss, uncertainty and reminders that life can change very quickly. Perhaps that is why a few days away produced something more valuable than rest: perspective. Stan returned not pretending that the world had suddenly become easier, but recognizing that, despite difficulties, obstacles and a few genuinely frightening possibilities, he was still living in what he calls a POA—a Place of Opportunity. And then he turned the television and computer back on. Welcome back to the world of worrying. Worrying, Waiting, Wondering—and Wishing Stan noticed four activities consuming an extraordinary amount of human energy: Worrying. Waiting. Wondering. Wishing. People worry about their jobs. They wait to see what happens next. They wonder what artificial intelligence will do to their profession. And they wish somebody—or something—would make the uncertainty go away. But wishing is not a business strategy. Worrying is not a career plan. And waiting for the world to become predictable may require a very long wait. The more useful question is: What can you create? That question becomes especially important when so many people feel they are reacting to life rather than creating it. Certainly, much of life is outside anyone's control. But there remains an enormous difference between admitting that reality and surrendering one's ability to act. That distinction may become one of the essential survival skills of the AI age. What Is Real? Artificial intelligence introduces another inconvenient question: What is real? Stan has encountered videos, music, images and performances that seemed completely authentic—until closer examination raised another possibility. Perhaps they weren't. AI is rapidly moving toward a point where ordinary viewers and listeners may have difficulty determining whether something was created by a human being, a machine, or some collaboration between the two. Stan describes the strange sensation perfectly: Sometimes something can seem too fake to be real—and too real to be fake. That changes the questions we may have to ask. Instead of simply asking, "Is it real?" perhaps increasingly we will also ask: Is it true? Is it good? Is it useful? Is it helpful? Is it beautiful? Does it make life better—or worse? That is an inconvenient idea indeed. Even the new Inconvenient Ideas studio provides a playful example. The glowing neon-style sign, the broadcast environment and the visual presentation can now be created with AI assistance. Is the neon sign "real"? Well, you're looking at it. And perhaps the more useful question is whether it helps Stan communicate an idea worth hearing. Become an Author of Ideas Stan also makes a personal confession. He has spent nearly half a century as a broadcaster and communicator. He talks. He teaches. He coaches. He interviews. And perhaps most importantly, he continually comes up with ideas. But traditional writing has never necessarily been his greatest strength. AI has helped him recognize a different possibility: Maybe he is not primarily an author who writes. Maybe he is an Author of Ideas. That changes the relationship with artificial intelligence. The human being supplies experience, judgment, imagination, conviction, stories and ideas. AI can help organize, edit, develop and distribute them. In that arrangement, AI does not necessarily replace the human creator. It can multiply the creator. And that may be one of the great opportunities of this technological revolution. But Beware of Trojan Horses Every gift is not necessarily good for you. The ancient Trojans learned that lesson the hard way. Artificial intelligence may become one of the greatest productivity tools ever created. It may also eliminate jobs, disrupt professions, destroy established business models and make some previously valuable skills considerably less valuable. Both realities can be true. The appropriate response, therefore, is neither blind enthusiasm nor paralyzing fear. It is preparation. Create Your Own Personal Economy Here Stan reaches the central challenge of the program. In an increasingly unpredictable economy, people should learn how to create their own personal economy. That does not mean everyone must quit a job tomorrow morning and launch a company by lunchtime. It means learning to think entrepreneurially. Can you recognize an opportunity? Can you solve a problem? Can you create something useful? Can you communicate its value? Can you develop relationships? Can you serve customers? Can you adapt when technology changes the rules? And can you create another source of usefulness and income when an old one disappears? Those questions are becoming important whether someone is 22, 42, 62—or 82. Everyone Is Also Becoming a Broadcaster There is another skill Stan believes people increasingly need. They need to learn how to communicate through modern media. You may never have a radio program. You may never call yourself a podcaster. You may never dream of becoming a YouTube personality. But we live in a mass-media marketing world. At some point, most professionals, entrepreneurs, leaders and creators will need to become comfortable behind a microphone, in front of a camera, on a screen or communicating through digital media. That makes broadcasting no longer merely a profession. It is becoming a life and business skill. The Four People We May Need to Become Stan's challenge can be reduced to four roles worth developing in this new world: Become an Entrepreneur. Learn to recognize opportunities, create value and build your own personal economy. Become a Broadcaster. Learn to communicate clearly, confidently and persuasively through modern media. Become a Transformer. Develop the ability to change yourself, your work and perhaps the lives of people around you. Become an Author of Ideas. Bring distinctly human experience, imagination, wisdom and judgment to AI tools capable of helping those ideas travel farther and faster. None of this guarantees an easy future. There will still be plenty to worry about. But perhaps there will be considerably less to fear. THINGS TO REMEMBER • Worry is information, not instruction. Fear may tell you that something deserves attention. It doesn't necessarily tell you what to do. • AI is both opportunity and disruption. Refusing to acknowledge either side leaves you unprepared. • Your ideas still matter. AI can generate words, pictures and possibilities, but human experience, judgment, character and wisdom remain extraordinarily valuable. • Entrepreneurship is becoming a basic life skill. You don't necessarily need to own a company to learn how to create value. • Broadcasting is becoming a basic communication skill. The ability to speak effectively through microphones, cameras and digital media will increasingly matter. • Transformation requires action. Waiting for certainty may simply mean waiting forever. THINGS TO SHARE Ask someone you care about: "If your present job disappeared because of AI, what useful thing could you create, teach, communicate or sell?" Then ask a second question: "What could AI help you do that you could not realistically have done five years ago?" Those two questions may start a far more productive conversation than another hour of worrying about artificial intelligence. THINGS TO TAKE NOTE OF Pay attention this week to the places where AI is already changing your life. Notice what it does extraordinarily well. Notice where it makes mistakes. Notice what frightens you. But especially notice where it gives you new capabilities. Instead of merely asking, "What will AI do to me?" begin asking: "What can I now do with AI that I could never do before?" That is the entrepreneur's question. THINGS TO DO Choose one idea you have been postponing. Write it down—or speak it into your phone. Use AI to help organize it. Turn it into something tangible: an article, presentation, proposal, podcast, video, course, business idea or conversation. Then put it into the world. Don't merely worry. Don't merely wait. Don't merely wonder. And don't merely wish. Create. THE INCONVENIENT CHALLENGE The AI digital world will undoubtedly produce disruption. Some careers will disappear. Others will change dramatically. New professions will emerge that hardly anyone can describe today. So the goal cannot be to make the future perfectly safe. The goal is to become the kind of person who is increasingly capable of meeting it. Stan Hustad has spent decades as an entrepreneur, broadcaster, communicator and coach. Today he is helping people learn how to become entrepreneurs, world-class broadcasters, transformational thinkers and Authors of Ideas who can work intelligently with artificial intelligence rather than merely worry about what it might do to them. If the new world has you worrying, waiting, wondering or wishing, perhaps it is time for a different conversation. Stan's invitation is simple: Learn to create your own economy. Learn to communicate your own ideas. Learn to use the new tools. Learn to become more useful. And learn to become less afraid of the future by becoming better prepared for it. Stan Hustad and What It Takes Radio are available to help. Stan@witradio.net Because in the end, the future may belong neither to the people who blindly embrace AI nor to those who desperately resist it. It may belong to the people who learn how to remain fully human while becoming remarkably good at using it. And remember: If an idea is interesting and important, there's a pretty good chance it will also be inconvenient.

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(00:00-11:01) Look, Doug, it's Brody. Brody seems to know everything about the prospects they got in the deal with the Brewers and Diamondbacks. The Dodgers getting Skubal. Lots of action around the league at the deadline. Very thourough, Brody.(11:09-31:36) Joined by Cardinal starter, Michael McGreevy. Whispering trying not to wake up the fiancee. Big Irish called us from the pisser once. His mindset wanting the ball last night after his last start and the recent skid. Wishing he could have gotten through 5 or 6 to help the bullpen out. Do wins still matter to starting pitchers? Dealing with friends and teammates getting moved at the deadline. Exhaling once the deadline ends. Jackson's a McGreevy guy.(31:46-33:57) Design Aire Heating & Cooling EMOTD coming up next.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Saturday morning Three Stooges. Doug's a clown boy. Is the lede the trade deadline or Burly's 3 bombs and the Cardinal victory? Burleson's name floated around yesterday. Nootbar was in the lineup before he got the news. Audio of Gavin Talks Ball on TikTok confused about the Nootbar move. You feel good about a trade when the other team's fan base is angry about it. Milwaukee ESPN radio says the Brewers got fleeced. Look at the slash line, Martin. Doug's ambivalence is starting to piss Jackson off.TMAU Pep Band and Yell Leaders. Stafford held thru the break and is on the line. Actually it's Sanford. He's got a television solution for Doug. Well, that didn't live up to the hype. Rich wants to follow up Sanford with some thoughts on the trade deadline and Burtleson. Audio of Alec Burleson talking about his big night. Nick is up next and he's got a quick comment about Stanek. Caleb Ferguson is the highest paid player on the active roster. Joe Buck was banty on Twitter last night. Audio of Lars Nootbar's emotional message to Cardinal fans.Bootsy Tuesday. Loaded phone lines again and we'll start with Curt with a 'C.' He loves Jackson but he's here to talk Cardinals and prospects. Steve Savard to KSDK was the biggest deadline move. Finally getting around to Larry and he's not happy Doug made him wait. Larry's got beef with the corporate structure at the 2Fox. Larry gives his Summerslam report. Human Monies on a Pole Match. Thumbelina, the tiny horse.Killing the vibe with the music but it's for the guest that's on hold. Hall of Famer, Joe Buck joins us. Joe's old and the game has passed him by. Joe gives his perspective on his Tweet last night and McGreevy getting pulled before he could get through five innings. Joe also talks about the state of baseball analytics in 2026. Also, Joe discsuses the trade deadline and the direction of the franchise. That Rich Gould show from back in the day. Martin's notekeeping. His Hall of Fame weekend in Cooperstown.Chairman Kurt's re-creations of ATMA conversations. Yesterday's moment was lactating. Always the victim, always the hero. Audio of Mike Francesa getting badgered by a caller about Marv Levy. Natty Nate is next up on the phone lines. Nate wants to eat a little crow this morning. A+ trade deadline grade from Natty Nate.Been a huge day on the phone lines. Sounds like Michael McGreevy will join us in a bit. Quiet as a mouth.Look, Doug, it's Brody. Brody seems to know everything about the prospects they got in the deal with the Brewers and Diamondbacks. The Dodgers getting Skubal. Lots of action around the league at the deadline. Very thourough, Brody.Joined by Cardinal starter, Michael McGreevy. Whispering trying not to wake up the fiancee. Big Irish called us from the pisser once. His mindset wanting the ball last night after his last start and the recent skid. Wishing he could have gotten through 5 or 6 to help the bullpen out. Do wins still matter to starting pitchers? Dealing with friends and teammates getting moved at the deadline. Exhaling once the deadline ends. Jackson's a McGreevy guy.Design Aire Heating & Cooling EMOTD coming up next.The Big Rock Candy Mountains. Haywire Mac. Chairman's finally watching The Sopranos. He's not happy with Tony's philandering. Tim's notes app apology. E-Mail of the Day.Man, that Joe Buck has had one heck of a career. Does Tim have time to match Joe Buck's accolades if he starts now? Tim was a scrappy 100 pounds. The enemy becomes the hero.The winner of the Design Aire Heating & Cooling EMOTD is...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Too many love stories are about a single self-love. One person's agenda determines the relationship. And a couple subsumes into a singularity without a merger. There are those who survive, through will, by finding a life outside the relationship, considering it fate, or by just adjusting expectations.   And the couple misses a significant beat.   Two people together have the opportunity to discover two universes, and make both their own. To discover the inner world of someone who you care for or who is your life partner is to discover their core, to become a special denizen in their world, to discover what thrills them, what terrifies them.   It's the privilege of a steady relationship.   Nothing in our lives happens automatically. Everything has to be earned. Relationships primarily and upfront are about sensitivity and awareness. It is work until it becomes second nature, a subsummation rather than a subjugation. And the couple changes forever. Because to know someone's guilty pleasures, to know what gladdens, gives tranquility, brings solace, is to recognize the best and worst of them. To dislike them once in a while but to never fall out of love with them.   The alternate is isolation, to be in front of riches and roam about in emotional penury; of having your flag bearer, your cheer-leader, your 3 am call, your staunch supporter, your potentially-forever fan, right beside you but transversing your life searching for him/her.   If that's not a tragedy, then what is?   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on how we can be alone even when we are together -  Love's Night of the Long Knives On Breaking up (without breaking) Distances (Kaifi Azmi ke Liye) Subscribe to my newsletter 'The Uncuts' Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - The Way to Kataka by Sascha Ende Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/the-way-to-kataka Licence:  https://filmmusic.io/standard-license  

We all dream, pray, manifest, hope and work for a better tomorrow, for ourselves and our communities - where do wishes come into catalysing transformative change? How can engaging in wish rituals within the collective bring the sciences and arts together to co-create a powerful roadmap towards a resilient future? In the 100th episode of the Mind Full of Everything podcast, we invite Brownell Landrum, a storyteller, TEDx speaker, inventor, and change catalyst with a passion for opening hearts and minds toward peaceful, positive, and purposeful progress. Brownell is the author of The Art and Science of Wishing book (as well as author to children's books, fiction, nonfiction and screenplays), inventor, and songwriter, and explorer of metaphysical mysteries. Brownell is the executive producer of the Life is a Trip Reincarnation Stories Podcast and her most recent project is the Cosmic Wishes podcast, where science and the art of wishing come together to create a roadmap for change. In this conversation, we discuss the science behind the art of wishing and how, as a collective, we can strategically wish our way to a more just and equitable future. Visit mindfullofeverything.com to access full episode shownotes, resources and archives. Connect with us on Instagram (@mindfullofeverything_pod) and Facebook (@mindfullofeverything).  

While listening to Paige Onweller answer our questions, we found ourselves wishing we could be more like her. Wishing we her organizational skills, of her critical thinking, her ability to adapt quickly. Paige has the foundational pieces to be a Marginal Gainer that makes us think, "I wish I was more like Paige." Paige's focus on details started well before she ever saw a Gravel Race start line. She was a collegiate runner and after that, had a career in medicine. But like we've heard from many runners, her sport led to injury which led her to the bike. At first, her riding was for fitness while she healed. But then she discovered how good she was, and so did others. Namely team Twenty-Twenty Four. They brought her on board to do Zwift racing and Time Trials. Before she knew it she was on a start line in Nebraska at Gravel Worlds. Then her career in medicine was put on hold as Paige took her detailed approach to the Life Time Grand Prix.  Josh and Paige's partnership started this spring in the wind tunnel. The two of them got together for a focused approach on aerodynamics and women. They made some very interesting discoveries which we talk about in this show. Ever thought about waxing hair? You will after hearing them discuss Paige's aero bun.    

How much of your day do you spend wishing things were different than they are? Wishing people were different. Wishing situations were different. Wishing the world would just cooperate with how you think it should be. If the answer is "a lot" — you're not alone. And it might be costing you more than you realize. In this episode of Ted in Your Head, Certified Hypnotherapist Ted Moreno explores one of the most common — and most exhausting — sources of human suffering: Fighting reality. Drawing from the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, the teachings of Wayne Dyer, and 23 years of working with clients, Ted breaks down why our refusal to accept what is keeps us stuck in stress, anxiety, and misery — and what we can do about it. Find out: Why fighting what you cannot change is one of the fastest roads to misery The difference between acceptance and giving up How to tell the difference between what you can change and what you can't Why "shoulding all over yourself" is making your life harder The one question that can immediately shift your perspective Why acceptance is not weakness — it's emotional intelligence This episode is for anyone who is tired of being at war with their own life — and is ready to find a little more ease, peace, and clarity in the face of whatever shows up. "Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be." — Wayne Dyer Web: https://tedmoreno.com/ Podcast: https://tedmoreno.com/blog/ Linktree: https://linktr.ee/tedamoreno Are you struggling to find peace in the face of what life is throwing at you? Ted can help. Reach out for a 30-minute complimentary phone consultation at https://tedmoreno.com/contact-us/ tedinyourhead.com

NEW! Little Big Affirmations Deck for Kids: Check it out.   Click here to Shop Affirmation Decks, Oracle Decks, and more! Use Promo code: RCPODCAST20 for 20% off your first order!   Today's Power Affirmation: I am happy for this awesome moment because this moment is my awesome life.   Today's Oracle of Motivation: Too many people leave guts on the floor as they crawl through the week like snails, wishing it was the weekend. How often do you think, "If only it was Friday..." and, "I can't wait for the weekend to get here!". When you wish away your week, you are wishing away your time. Wishing away your time is like inviting the Grim Reaper to your private dinner. Do you really want to wish away your family, your friends, and your ONE LIFE? Everything you take for granted is someone else's fairytale. Cherish each and every moment that you have before time makes you cherish what you had. Every day is a Saturday.   Designed to Motivate Your Creative Maniac Mind The 60-Second Power Affirmations Podcast is designed to help you focus, affirm your visions, and harness the power within your creative maniac mind! Join us every Monday and Thursday for a new 60-second power affirmation followed by a blast of oracle motivation from the Universe (+ a quick breathing meditation). It's time to take off your procrastination diaper and share your musings with the world!   For more musings, visit RageCreate.com     Leave a Review & Share! Apple Podcast reviews are one of THE most important factors for podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please take a second to leave the show a review on Apple Podcasts! Click this link: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts Hit “Listen on Apple Podcasts” on the left-hand side under the picture. Scroll down under “Ratings & Reviews” & click “Write A Review” Leave an honest review. You're awesome!  

What if the moment you're desperate to get through today becomes the one you'd give anything to have back? Brushing tangled hair. Carrying a sleeping child inside. Sitting through one more song. These moments can feel frustrating when you're tired and running late. Then one day they stop happening, and you never realise the last time has already passed. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson shares a simple idea from philosophy called the "Last Time Meditation." It will change the way you see everyday parenting and help you notice the moments that matter before they're gone. KEY POINTS Why the everyday parenting jobs you dread can become your most treasured memories. How the "Last Time Meditation" helps you stay present. The psychology behind appreciating ordinary moments before they disappear. The personal experience that changed how Justin responds to his children. One simple habit that makes family life feel richer without changing your routine. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "There's something you did with your child today that ten years from now you'd trade almost anything to do again. You just don't know what that thing is." RESOURCES MENTIONED A Guide to the Good Life by William B. Irvine William B. Irvine's "Last Time Meditation" Stoic philosophy Seneca Epictetus The Japanese concept Ichi-go Ichi-e Fred Bryant's research on savouring Tim Urban's "Tail End" concept Kurtz (2008), Psychological Science ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Pick one ordinary family moment this week and treat it like it won't happen again. The next time your child asks you to watch, listen or help, stop and give them your full attention. Put your phone away during one family ritual each day. Slow down long enough to notice the moments you'll miss one day. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Series: N/AService: WednesdayType: InvitationSpeaker: Kamden Edens

Can't believe they said that? Strengthen your mindset, stay true to your values, and create healthier, more balanced family relationships, one affirmation at a time with "When You Disagree With Your Parents ."If this episode was helpful and you want to leave a tip, simply go to AffirmationPod.com/TipJarThe sister episode to this one is Episode 160 Communication During Conflict https://AffirmationPod.com/CommunicationDuringConflictReady to change the way you think and start seeing real results?Want to start thinking more positively and feel more confident?Secure your one-on-one affirmations coaching spot at AffirmationPod.com/Coaching WANT MORE EPISODES LIKE THIS ONE? Episode 421​​ Fully Listening To Others https://AffirmationPod.com/FullyListening Episode 419 I am Listening to My Needs https://AffirmationPod.com/MyNeeds Episode 179 Not Afraid to Say https://AffirmationPod.com/NotAfraidToSay REVIEWS

In this episode, we perceive the sorrowful situation of a person parted from his beloved, as depicted in Sangam Literary work, Aganaanooru 291, penned by Paalai Paadiya Perunkadunko. Set in the ‘Paalai’ or ‘Drylands landscape’, the verse etches the challenging spaces of this domain in vivid detail. வானம் பெயல் வளம் கரப்ப, கானம்உலறி இலை இலவாக, பல உடன்ஏறுடை ஆயத்து இனம் பசி தெறுப்ப,கயன் அற வறந்த கோடையொடு நயன் அறப்பெரு வரை நிவந்த மருங்கில், கொடு வரிப்புலியொடு பொருது சினம் சிறந்து, வலியோடுஉரவுக் களிறு ஒதுங்கிய மருங்கில், பரூஉப் பரல்,சிறு பல் மின்மினி கடுப்ப, எவ்வாயும்நிறைவன இமைக்கும் நிரம்பா நீள் இடைஎருவை இருஞ் சிறை இரீஇய, விரி இணர்த்தாது உண் தும்பி முரல் இசை கடுப்ப,பரியினது உயிர்க்கும் அம்பினர், வெருவரஉவலை சூடிய தலையர், கவலைஆர்த்து, உடன் அரும் பொருள் வவ்வலின், யாவதும்சாத்து இடை வழங்காச் சேண் சிமை அதரசிறியிலை நெல்லித் தீம் சுவைத் திரள் காய்உதிர்வன தாஅம் அத்தம் தவிர்வு இன்று,புள்ளி அம் பிணை உணீஇய உள்ளி,அறு மருப்பு ஒழித்த தலைய, தோல் பொதி,மறு மருப்பு இளங் கோடு அதிரக் கூஉம்சுடர் தெற வருந்திய அருஞ் சுரம் இறந்து, ஆங்குஉள்ளினை வாழிய, நெஞ்சே! போது எனப்புலம் கமழ் நாற்றத்து இரும் பல் கூந்தல்,நல் எழில் மழைக் கண், நம் காதலிமெல் இறைப் பணைத்தோள் விளங்கும் மாண் கவினே. In this trip to the drylands, we get scene after scene of images, as we listen to the man say these words to his heart, in the middle of his journey, after having parted from the lady, so as to earn wealth: “As the skies have refrained from rendering the prosperity of rain showers, the forest has dried up and appears bereft of leaves. Herds of cattle with bulls many are tormented by deep hunger, as the harsh summer winds blow, drying up ponds in those wide spaces near the tall ranges. Here, after forcefully attacking a tiger with curving stripes furiously, the strong male elephant treads along, and in its footprints, thick pebbles shine, akin to many little fireflies, glittering and scattering their light in all directions. In those deserted long paths, frightening a huge-winged vulture, with the music of bees that buzz around when feeding on the pollen of blossoming flowers, arrows streak past with much speed, from bows of those men wearing frightening head garlands. As they rove those paths and steal away precious belongings, merchants avoid those spaces. In those paths near the peaks, the small-leaved gooseberry's thick clusters of sweet fruits drop and scatter. Wishing for their spotted, beautiful mates to feed on these fruits, with heads bereft of old antlers, quaking the new antlers bumping up from behind the skin, the male deers call out, in those formidable spaces, scorched by the sun. Even after coming here, you are thinking about the radiant beauty of our beloved, who has thick, dark tresses that waft with the fragrance of flowers across the land, exquisite, rain-like eyes and bamboo-like arms with soft wrists! Long may you live, O heart!” Time to take a trek through that arid scrub jungle and listen to the man’s heartbeat! He starts with a lengthy description of this space, where we see that there’s no rain, no leaves, cattle suffering with hunger, hot winds tormenting the land and so on. From the land, the man shifts the lens to focus on fighting animals, an elephant and a tiger in specific, and the former giant seems to emerge victorious and as it walks away with a sense of accomplishment, in those spots where it presses down on its pillar-like legs, pebbles seem to glitter like fireflies in the harsh light of the sweltering sun, the man sketches. Then, he zooms on the humans in this space, and to do that, he focuses on the arrows flying from the hands of highway robbers and the way they frighten vultures, with a sound of bees buzzing that too. The man talks about how these robbers are so scary and steal away precious belongings that merchants avoid those paths at all costs. He then zooms on to a gooseberry tree and the way it drops its sweet fruits, the only source of succour in those arid spaces. Upon seeing the same, male deers want their mates to feed on the same and call out with much love, making their newly sprouting antlers to tremble in the effort, the man sketches with precision. He has given this description only to say that he has seen those sights, crossed all those scenes, and arrived there, and even after coming that far, all his heart seemed to do was to think about his beautiful, beloved maiden with flower-like tresses, rain-like eyes and bamboo-like arms! A note of disbelief rings aloud in the voice of the man as he separates himself from his heart and sees how he’s unable to take the lady off his mind, even though he’s firmly set on the path of seeking wealth! A precise portrait of the timeless war between the heart and the mind, between being in the comfort of love and leaving for the sake of ambition!

The classic soul, funk and R&B group Rose Royce rocks Bethesda Theater in Bethesda, Maryland this Friday. Founding members Kenny Copeland & Michael Nash join Jason to break down their biggest hits, including “Car Wash,” ”I Wanna Get Next to You,” “I'm Going Down,” “Wishing on a Star” and “Love Don't Live Here Anymore.” (Theme Music: Scott Buckley's "Clarion")

The landmark Clarity Act is stuck in the Senate over a provision seeking to address Trump's business ties to the the industry. The CLARITY Act is back in focus after a House panel moved the crypto regulation debate to New York, giving the industry another look at whether Washington can still push digital-asset legislation through a crowded political calendar. ~This episode is sponsored by Tangem~ Tangem ➜ https://bit.ly/TangemPBN Use Code: "PBN" for Additional Discounts! 00:10 Sponsor: Tangem 00:45 One Year Later 01:10 Still waiting on last minute 01:20 CLARITY 01:50 Hearing for two bullshit bills 02:15 3-pages 02:40 Bitcoin strategic Reserve 03:00 Hearing room? 03:30 Chuck-E-Cheese? 03:40 CLARITY Hearing was a waste of time 04:20 ZERO showed up 04:50 Hard at work 05:20 He still hopeful? 05:30 Gallego says nope 06:00 Deputy Director Harry Jung 06:40 Wishing it would not go away doesn't make it go away 08:00 Elizabeth Warren is always ready with a FUD drop 09:00 Robinhood & Solana don't give a shit about CLARITY 09:45 IPO season will be constant reminder that markets are broken 10:40 Ripple is screwed though #Crypto #XRP #Ethereum ~CLARITY Act Finally Drops Today?

We're back with the third episode in our series on the podcast in which we're working our way through Pam's book, The Unschooling Journey: A Field Guide. Today, we're continuing our exploration of the deschooling phase of the journey with stage seven: Shifting From Control to Connection. Last time, we questioned our beliefs about learning and now, we’re questioning our beliefs about parenting. We talked about how parenting doesn’t have to be adults vs children, that children are capable of making their own choices, that equal doesn’t mean fair, how quitting is not a failure, and how strong relationships are the key. We also remembered to allow ourselves the time and space to grow and change. Exploring these parenting mindset shifts was so much fun! We hope you find this episode helpful! Watch the video of our conversation on YouTube. THINGS WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Learn more about Pam's book, The Unschooling Journey: A Field Guide. We invite you to join us in the Living Joyfully Network, a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents. It's a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional ideas around parenting, relationships, and learning, and explore what they might look like day-to-day in your uniquely wonderful family. We offer a free month trial so you can see if it's a good fit for you. Click here to join us. Sign up to our mailing list on Substack to receive our email newsletters as well as new articles about learning, parenting, and so much more! Check out our website, livingjoyfully.ca for more information about exploring unschooling and navigating relationships. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT PAM: Hello everyone, I’m Pam Laricchia from Living Joyfully and I’m joined today by my co-hosts Anna Brown and Erika Ellis. Hello to you both. And we are back with another episode in our “A Field Guide” series. We are working our way through my book, “The Unschooling Journey: A Field Guide”, which is framed around the hero’s journey and is a weave of myths, contemporary stories, and tales from my own journey. And we are deep in the de-schooling phase of our journey right now. In the last episode of the series, which was episode 408, we dug into some of the popular conventional paradigms about learning and found new truths buried in there. And as we continue our journey on the road of trials, in this stage, which is stage seven, we are exploring some unconventional truths about parenting. If you’re newer to unschooling and this is your first time exploring these truths, you’re likely dancing with these ideas more intellectually to just understand what they mean, what are we talking about, and maybe some of the further reaching implications that come along with it. And if you’ve been unschooling for a while and feel like you already intellectually embraced these ideas and have been bringing them into your family’s lives, now’s the time to peel back some more layers to build more connections and contacts around them. Strengthening your web of understanding with your own experiences, building your wisdom around this. And this is where you move towards, what feels to me anyway, believing these truths in your bones, you own them. These are your truths. So, the first truth that we’re going to explore is that parenting is not adults versus children. And right off with that phrase, there are so many aspects to that one truth. Does the conventional approach of pitting adults against children really make sense for us? What assumptions are we making if we believe that to be true? Does it mesh with our experiences with our own children and with the families that we see around us? The presumption of parental power over children is definitely widespread in our culture. We are meant to assume good parenting means power struggles will happen, a battle of wills over whatever the issue at hand happens to be. Yet many of us see right in front of us that it’s a draining and stressful way to live. And that so many adults who grew up in that environment continue to have strained relationships with their parents. That’s always been a curious one for me. So what if, let’s play with what if we choose to drop the assumption that the one right way to successfully parent is to exert power over your child to ensure that they do the right thing at the right moment? It can be challenging when we have little idea of what else to do. Because shifting away from power and control doesn’t mean doing nothing. So to that end, I personally found it really helpful on my journey to focus on connecting with my child rather than directing them. That’s what I could do instead. That helped me shift my energy in the moment to be open to seeing more of what was actually happening rather than that tunnel vision that comes with trying to control something to go one particular way and my way. And to instead get curious about how they were seeing the moment too, recognizing them as other human beings who are with me in this moment, not ones I’m trying to show the right way to go. Anyway, I found this a huge part of my unschooling journey. ANNA: Oh my gosh, it really is this fundamental shift that changes everything. And I feel like we’re handed these ideas about parenting and what the dynamic between parents and kids should look like. This does not feel innate to me. It really feels like something that’s coming from outside. And I truly don’t believe that it feels good to anyone to be locked in power struggles with the people they love most in the world. And I think people press on because they think they’re supposed to. They think this is how it is. This is what I have to do. Even when they have these niggling feelings inside that it doesn’t feel good and I don’t want to interact with my family this way. Because it really just doesn’t make any logical sense. Control, manipulation, and punishments do not work well in any healthy relationship. So take it outside of that parent-child dynamic. It does not work. These are not tools we want our kids to use. They aren’t the tools that we use in our close relationships as adults. So why would we want to bring those tools into the relationship with these beings we cherish above all else? Why would we want to model that? That just never made sense to me. The idea that really helped me the most was understanding that needs drive behaviors. So behind every behavior is an unmet need. Conventional parenting is about controlling behavior, but it never gets at that underlying need where change can actually happen. And if we look for that underlying need and address it, what you find is that behavior that may be offending or challenging at the time can really melt away because the need is being met. And not only that, but it deepens our understanding of each other and our connection. Like you were talking about Pam, that’s how we get to that connected piece by understanding each other. And so for me, that kind of defines the shift from control to connection, from trying to control behaviors, to connecting to understand the needs and address them together. And once there, it just feels better to everyone. And in that environment, we are all learning critical relationship skills that set us up for success, how to express our needs, how to hear another person’s needs, how to problem solve together to meet the needs. That will play out over and over and over again in every relationship in our life, from the clerk at the post office to our closest partner. And that is where I wanted to spend my energy on us all fine tuning those skills together in a safe environment. ERIKA: I agree. This is such a game changer. Moving from that power over dynamic that we’re all so familiar with just from living in our culture, to this place of connection. It just makes such a huge difference in my relationship with my children. And really, like you’re saying my relationship with everyone. And I think it’s surprising to people when they first think about this or first see it in action, because people are not used to this dynamic. I’ve had many experiences, in relating to my kids, friends, with teenagers who are just like, what is this? This is an adult who’s not just trying to tell us to stop, an adult who’s just telling us what to do, or an adult who’s criticizing and judging everything that we do. I’m an adult who is interested in them and wants to hear what they are interested in. And I just have had so many comments like, this is so weird to me, my parents don’t want to hear about this, that I don’t understand this idea of adults who are nice to us. And I think a lot of teenagers have that experience, it really feels like adults are just against them. And so I think it's kind of mind blowing. It really surprises people. But it helps me to remember how I felt when I was a child, and how I felt like I was a whole person, and then people would treat me like I wasn’t, but I knew that I was. And so that feeling is the feeling that kids have. And so the power over dynamic does not make sense to them, it does not feel good to them. We can have people pleasing kids who go along with it. And then we can have kids who push against it, because it doesn’t make logical sense, and it feels terrible. And then about those kids we'll say, Oh, they’re a difficult child or whatever. But kids are people too. We’re all people. And so if I think about how I would have preferred to be treated when I was a kid, that’s a good place for me to start, with respecting children and not wielding my power over them. And what I’ve found in my family is that it’s just so peaceful. Our interactions have a lot more peace, understanding, and mutual respect. There’s not a reason for them to be pushing back so hard against me. There’s not a reason for them to ignore everything I say, because they think I’m just trying to control them. All of those elements that you typically see in mainstream media relationships between teens and adults, it’s just not there. It’s just so much more peaceful. And I think that helps all of us, it helps all of our nervous systems to not constantly be in battle with each other. And it has that feeling of, we’re solving problems together, you’re talking about the underlying needs versus me trying to force my will on to someone else regardless of what they want. And so again, these are our most important, most treasured relationships. So I just think why would we want to bring that power over dynamic into that space that’s so important to us. PAM: I know, I love that. I love all the little bits you guys brought to it. I love having this conversation. But when you think back on, especially, the teen relationships and the teen years, it’s like, oh my gosh, what a huge difference. I didn’t have a lot of conflict with my parents. But I also basically didn’t have a lot of conversations with them at that point, right? Because you knew they were, from best of intentions, but only looking through their eyes. It's about how they think you should do something. So much of it is their baggage from their experiences, right? And I want you to have a better life. It’s almost like inhuman expectations that they share and put on you, like, if I could help my child be the perfect teen into an adult and launch into that whole thing. Those are the kinds of stories that they’re bringing. And yeah, it just feels like one demand after another, right in the conversation. So you don’t start the conversations for the most part. Because you know where they’re going to go. So I, why set myself up for that, right? So that’s the distance that conventionally you see with teens and parents. If we don’t talk, then I'll never know what they’re bringing with those stories. I think when you tweak it to the kid, older kids, like wanting to build their independence, absolutely. That doesn’t mean the connection’s different. The connection is still strong. It’s still there. Of course they can do that. But I think we tend to blame all of that on the teens wanting independence, but so much of it is just because they are bucking against the control, right? ANNA: Absolutely. It’s just so disconnecting. PAM: So, the second truth we are going to dive into is that children are capable of making choices. And this is another one I think can be so surprising for people to discover, right? Because conventionally many parents make most of their children’s decisions for them. Just believing that they’re modeling the right thing to do. And then assuming that their children have learned it and will make those same choices when they grow up and are finally in control of their own lives. And again, most often it’s not done with any malice, right? We love our kids and we want them to learn good choices. But what if we aren’t telling our kids what choices to make? What do we do instead? Again, because it’s not about doing nothing. It’s not about leaving them to their own devices, all these phrases that you hear getting tossed about. It’s about processing with them. What are their questions in this moment? How are they seeing things? What choice makes sense to them? When we aren’t struggling with our kids and are actively trying to nurture that secure and supportive environment, they have the space to consider things from various angles. And make the choice that makes the most sense to them in this particular moment. And have conversations with us about it both before and after the thing. They learn how to make choices by making choices. And I think a key thing to remember as we make this shift in our parenting is to recognize that their choice may well be different from the choice that we would make in similar circumstances. Because, again, people are different. People are so different. I love how different people are. ERIKA: Yes, and I’m so glad you ended with people are different because I really think that is the key here. If I stay stuck thinking that what I would do in this case is the only right answer in that situation, then it can feel impossible to allow my children to make a different decision. But since they’re different people, it doesn’t really even make sense for me to try to impose my preferences on them. Because that takes away their learning. It takes away my learning about them. They can trust me as a sounding board if they want. But if my kids have the space to make their own choices about their own lives, which, you know, maybe that is a big paradigm shift right there, realizing that these are their lives, not mine. I don’t own their life as their parent. Then they can add to their own web of learning about what works for them. So how their choices play out for them will be so much more meaningful if they were the ones who made the original choice. If they’re just doing something that I suggested, and then however it works out, it’s like, why do they even care? It doesn’t really have that same sort of importance to them, because they didn’t choose it. I love the point too, about the opposite of us making choices for them is doing nothing. And it really is not that. It’s being present, building that trust, being trustworthy, being non judgmental about the things that they’re interested in and the things that they want to do. And so they will come to me if they’d like to imagine different scenarios, or if they’re not sure about something. And I know also just by having that connection, when they might need a little push or a little confidence booster, you know, you can do this, you’ve got this. And I know when to trust that even if it doesn’t work out how they thought it would. And sometimes I even know that it won’t. And sometimes I’m right about that. And sometimes I’m wrong about that. But even if it doesn’t work out, I just believe that what they’re learning about themselves and the trust that it builds for themselves, trust in themselves, and then also trust in me that I’m trusting them. There’s just so much trust building that’s happening. I think it’s just huge. ANNA: It really is. I love how you describe that interplay. Because I do think that’s a common first reaction. I’m not supposed to be over involved. So I’m just going to go away. And it isn’t hands off, but it is this what you were describing really being in tune with who they are and trusting in their journey, trusting in your relationship with them. Knowing when you can have conversations and when we can add a little something here. When do I need to just observe or listen or reflect back? And yes, this is where people are different means everything, because we really do tend to think that people see and experience the world in the same way that we do, and that they want to move through the world in the same way that we do. And they just don’t. So how I said it to myself in the early days was that I just don’t know what’s best for another person, even my child, ever. And that just helped stop me and help me stay open and curious about – what is their unique experience here? What are they getting out of this? And it also helped me learn about myself and what things were uniquely mine. And I like how you said, Erika, now, maybe I just lost it. But it’s that sometimes you’re right, sometimes you’re wrong. Sometimes it didn’t work out. But it’s not about it working out, right? It’s just about the unfolding of it, because we’re learning all along the way by just taking a step by trying something. I love that so much that this is even about letting go of some end goal of something that we’re all trying to get to. No, it’s about this exploration and learning about ourselves. And I just find kids are so capable. They know from the start, what they need at any given moment, and if they don’t have a fully formed vision of what that is, they know the next step they want to take, just so intuitively. I saw over and over again, they just don’t have the baggage that we’ve had, that I think can make things so much harder. And I think that baggage, kind of in light of what you were saying, is that we tend to have a fixed goal, like, this is what we’re trying to accomplish, so we have to be tunneling in on this endpoint. And I think kids are much more naturally playing with things and figuring things out. And then, like you said, Pam, oh my goodness, we learn how to make choices by making choices. I don’t know how many times I said that to people when my kids were little. I’m like, how can you say that you want them to make good choices, but you don’t let them make choices? How are they going to learn how to make choices? And in that process of making choices, we do learn what works for us, what doesn’t, when to slow down, when to go full steam ahead, when to pivot. All these things come from the doing, not from being told which decision to make. That just short circuits all the learning, and begins this external orientation that’s actually really hard to break. We’ve talked about this a lot too, that once that external orientation is fixed into you, from school, or even family, it’s really hard to step outside of thinking, what does everyone else want from me here? Versus, what do I want?. And I just found kids to be super capable of solving problems. Earlier I mentioned looking for these underlying needs, they have these best suggestions for solving issues. And I will say, if this is new for your family, it can take some time to develop that trust. Can I really say something here? Am I going to be heard? But it can develop, and with that trust, just like you were saying, Erika, it’s trust, trust, trust all around, everyone feels safe advocating for their needs and really helping each other meet their needs. I just love that. I know it’s a big shift to think that kids know best for themselves, but I truly believe that each one of us knows best for ourselves, and if we can give it some space and observe, you will start to see how different we all are, and how there is this knowing. And I feel like my kids helped me get back to my own knowing. It’s organically there in them from the start, and as adults, we may have to peel back some layers of conditioning, but I think it’s there for us too. PAM: Yeah, I think so. I love that. And I mean, as you were saying that, it just became more and more clear. That giving them the space to make the choices that feel like they make the most sense for them, is such an effective way for them to learn more about themselves, which they bring to the next choice and the next choice. It’s just this beautiful cycle. And then the reminder too, that it can take some time to build up that trust, absolutely, trusting that somebody’s not going to come back and tell them, no, no, no, that’s not the right way, do it this way. Or, see how it turned out after you made that bad choice, I told you so. Okay, so the third truth is, fair doesn’t mean equal. I found this one really interesting to think through. It was so interesting, we don’t want to show favor to one child over another, right? We want all our children to feel equally loved by us, and conventionally, we extrapolate that to treating our children equally. So, like, all kids get one piece of cake, and you’re careful to make them all the same size. That’s just one little example, but it’s like the epitome of fairness, right? But again, people are different, so instead, can we consider what the moment looks like through each of their eyes. How does it feel to each of them? So, I remember when I was thinking this through, I tested this little hypothesis. At the next birthday, I asked everybody how big a piece of cake they would like. And I was flabbergasted, nobody said the whole cake. But, so even as kids, I’d get different answers that really depended on how much they’d liked that particular cake or dessert, whatever we were having to celebrate, how hungry they were at the moment, if they were actually even fancying something sweet, right? So, getting the amount of cake they wanted felt fair to them. They felt seen and heard just by being asked, not just, this is the size that all kids get, and here you go, and, finish it, or you don’t get more. The whole thing, equal does not mean fair. I began to see fairness, not as that quantitative measure of anything that parents give, but as the qualitative measure of the value that each child receives. So, looking back over different seasons, one child may need more of their parents’ time, while another has a passionate interest that needs more of the family’s money to support it. We may be giving each of our children very different things in any particular moment, that take varying amounts of time, of our effort, of our money, but when their unique needs are being met, they each feel secure and happy, they feel seen and heard as who they are. And, in my experience, they do feel equally loved. What a difference, right? ANNA: Oh my gosh, all of these things are so important. This one is huge also, and it’s one I cannot get my mother to understand. It’s funny, because she really does think that doing exactly the same thing for all three of us is fair, and that shows that she loves us the same, and that we’re all equally loved. But gosh, being on the receiving end of that just feels super disconnecting, I don’t feel seen and heard or understood at all. But at this point, she’s 92, so there’s no real changing her, so the three of us will just roll with it. But again, there are three of us, we have a huge age gap, brother, sister, and then I’m the baby, huge age gap. We’re all so different. I think that’s why we talk so much about, people are different, because just understanding how different and unique we all are, just lights people up. They want you to know them, to see them, see their unique gifts and beauty. And so yeah, this whole, everybody needs to be treated exactly the same, does not do that. So, I knew that with this one, I wanted to examine it deeply and do it really differently with my kids. My girls are very different, I just have two, very different, though, and it really would have been a disservice to think in those kinds of black and white, equal is fair, terms. And I think a big part of this is watching my own language, countering the cultural messages about fair, like you did with the cake, right? And so you created a new fair, which is, hey, how much do you want, and let me help you get that. And I think it takes some digging in, to figure out what the need is in any given situation. Sometimes you can just ask, but sometimes there’s a little more to it. And also, just to build the culture of trust, that we will work to meet all the needs, and to recognize our choices in each moment. I think the other byproduct of everyone trusting that they’ll get their own needs met, is actually, they’re pretty happy when other people are getting their needs met too, because we can all celebrate each other doing our own things, and because we know that if we want something, we’ll figure it out, there’s no doubt about that. So, as I was thinking about this one, I’m not even sure you can step away from this kind of equal as fair cultural idea, without moving to a more connected idea of everyone getting their needs met. I think it kind of goes hand in hand, so you don’t have any kind of backlash or misunderstanding about it. ERIKA: Yeah, when I was growing up, we definitely had a huge, equal is fair, message in our family as well. And I think the funny thing is that, by constantly emphasizing trying to make everything equal among the three kids, we became so fixated on looking for the little discrepancies of, like, that’s a little bit more, that’s a little bit less, and we were also focused on it, and it gives you that feeling of scarcity, right? We were always on the lookout for, that’s not fair, how come she got that, I only got this, like, all of those things. And so when I contrast my memories of that with my own children’s experience, it’s just so interesting. From the beginning, I was so careful not to ever indicate that our food, my attention, our toys, whatever the resource was, I made sure I was showing them that there’s abundance, they don’t have to fight over it. And so we provided what we could to each one, but it was what they individually wanted, and, like you both have said, people are different, so I’m not just handing both of them the same thing. Maybe sometimes, and in fact, sometimes that really helps too, to create that feeling of abundance, we don’t need to fight over things, but we don’t need all the same things, we all get what we need. And so, when my kids were younger, my mom would play with them, but it was overwhelming, because if you have little kids, you know, a lot of times they’re both talking at the same time, wanting something, wanting her attention. And I remember she would set a timer. Okay, I’m going to play with Maya for 15 minutes, and then it will be your turn, Oliver, which feels really fair, but it really is just equal, because one might not need the full 15 minutes, and then the other one’s just focusing on what they’re not getting for those 15 minutes. And so, even though it was at times overwhelming in those younger kid days, I did try to just include them both at all times. So I’m hearing them both, you know, kind of being like, oh wow, oh wow, oh, you know, it’s just the spec, and that’s all they really wanted. They wanted to be able to say what they wanted to say in the moment. It was more chaotic, I think, but they didn’t really notice that, they just knew that I was there, they both felt I was there for them, and they don’t have a feeling of competition between each other, and still don't, to this day. And so I feel like many of these paradigm shifts boil down to, people are different. This one feels like that too. If we can recognize that people are different, we know that meeting each person’s needs in our family is going to look different, and that’s what makes a family really interesting and unique. PAM: Yeah, I love that you guys are both pointing out how so much of these boil down to, people are different. And it’s just recognizing that difference and incorporating it into the different aspects, that really is one of the fundamental paradigm shifts. Okay, so fourth truth, and that is, quitting is not a failure. Choosing to quit an activity, I mean, think about it just for a second, it is as much a learning experience as starting an activity. So conventional wisdom says that if we let children quit whatever they want, they will never finish something when the going gets tough, right? They’ll just say, oh, that’s too hard, I’m going to quit. And I see you guys both smiling, that is just not what we see, and I bet you, anyone listening, if you watch your kids in action for any length of time, it’s not what you’ll see either. In fact, if we continue to insist that they finish what they start, what they’re likely learning more fundamentally is to not try out new things unless they’re quite sure they’ll enjoy it. Because they can’t quit it, they’ll have to stick it out, as it were, you committed to this, like, all those kinds of messages. So they’re just going to only want to engage with something that they’re pretty darn sure they’ll be happy to follow through. So what that means is less exploration and less learning. When we favor connection over control, our children gain lots of experience with wanting to try something, choosing different ways to explore it, and seeing how well those different paths meet their goals. They’ll discover things that they like, they’ll discover things that they don’t like, and they will get a better feel for the clues that help them decide when they want to lean into something and when they want to quit and move on. And each time they choose to quit, they’re learning so much. Okay, I just got a rush of goosebumps, because I love this point. How does that choice feel moving forward? Do they miss the activity? If they miss it, that’s not a failure, that’s not wrong. What do they miss about it? That’s more learning. What are they doing with the time that quitting the thing freed up for them? Are they enjoying that? Are they enjoying that more? There’s just so much that comes when you quit something, that’s not the end, it’s not like, you therefore are not allowed to think about it ever again, right? There’s just so much processing that unfolds even beyond that one act, and it’s not forever either. ERIKA: Oh yeah, I think mainstream parenting culture is just so hooked on this. They really want kids to stick it out, and I feel like it’s in this way that we don’t expect ourselves to. And yeah, I think it’s a little short-sighted, right? It’s trying to teach responsibility and commitment and all of these things, but who wants somebody who is committed to something that they’re no longer enjoying? This is a path that does not lead to success, it’s a path that does not lead to good places. I still carry with me some feelings of failure that I have, due to, you know, in quotes, quitting something. I don’t even like the word quitting, because that kind of makes me feel like, I’ll never go back, I quit it. But I don’t view it like that with my kids, they can stop doing an activity and come back to it later, and there’s really no weight to that. But if I look back, I can see that my choices were valid, and that my life path has ended up being amazing, but looking back at certain things, I still feel the pressure and the weight of that, what felt like failure at the time, just because of the messages that I absorbed. Sometimes we don’t know how something’s going to feel until we try it. When we do and it’s not a fit, sometimes it’s an immediate thing, right? Like when I tried taking computer programming in college, I was like, immediately, no, my brain doesn’t do this. For some reason, I thought it would, it didn’t. And so sometimes it’s right away, but sometimes we’re just changing and growing over time. We all know, we’re growing and changing so much, even as adults, but our kids are certainly growing and changing, we see it happen right in front of us. And so maybe it’s like, this used to be great, now it’s not anymore. And so I think it’s just a gift to be able to listen to our inner voice, and make a choice that fits us right now, without that pressure of, this is a forever choice, or this is a failure if I don’t do this. There’s just no one right way to live, and each choice we make, it’s going to lead us somewhere, so we could just try things, quit things, shift gears, dive deep into something, and as long as we’re listening to our own voice, we can trust that we are building a life that works for us. I think we only really get stuck if we’re focusing on the external voices that don’t know us on the inside, and know what we really want and need. ANNA: It really is a clue, that those outside voices are taking up way too much space, because those outside voices, the peanut gallery about the quitting, they’re not the ones that are going to be there doing the thing, they’re not the ones that know how you’re feeling. So it really is just that, slowing down to recognize that and push it away, because this idea of quitting equals failure, is so ingrained, and it’s so counterintuitive, because you’re right, Pam, if kids are forced to stay with something that isn’t working for them, what they learn is to not try, because, I’m going to be stuck with it forever. And they’re so young, you know, they don’t know if they’ll like piano or baseball or that specific art class, there’s so many factors involved, and all the time that they’re stuck in something that they don’t love is time they aren’t getting to try other things to find out what they do love. And I love your point, Erika, that sometimes we know right away, nope, this is not for me, but sometimes interest wanes, right, and we grow and we change, and we’ve gotten what we’ve wanted out of it. I think that’s another thing, sometimes parents get caught up. Oh, but they’re so great at the piano or that sport. But that person, that unique human, has gotten what they want out of that experience, and that’s okay. All of that is okay. And goodness, I mean, I’m 57 and still I want to dabble and try things to get a better sense of if something will work for me. I can get very excited about a lot of different ideas, but until I’m actually doing it, it’s hard for me to say, does it suit me? Does it fit in my life? Do I want this? Is this how I want to be spending my time? And just quickly, if money is your sticking point here, because that's usually a big one for people, we have a podcast about this, but David really helped me move through this one with the financial idea of sunk costs. And so the reframe is that we’re paying for the opportunity. When we go into it with this idea of we’re paying for the opportunity to try this, it feels very different. The value is in learning whether it’s something we’re enjoying versus the value being in getting all of these specific instructions or finishing the class or staying on the team. And if letting the team down is your sticking point, you only have to have played a tiny bit of sport to know that someone who doesn’t want to be there isn’t helping the team at all. And you kind of alluded to this, Erika, like we really don’t want somebody that’s forced to be in any situation, sports or otherwise, or any kind of work. And all of this doesn’t mean that there’s no discussion though, right? Because sometimes there are discussions before, during, and after. And for us, thinking back, if something was a particularly pricey activity,because that happens and kids are like, I want to do this thing. And it’s a year’s commitment for thousands of dollars. We would talk about how we spend that money, where it comes from, what it impacts. Is there another way to learn more about the activity before we commit to something that’s maybe as long or as expensive as that? What I found is that kids are so creative and they often could find their own alternative paths as we’re playing with it and looking different things up. And also just talking to the organization, is there a way we can observe or trial it? People are pretty accommodating when you ask nicely. And I know for me, sometimes it is hard to ask for what I need. I don’t want to bother anybody. I know how busy and hard they’re working to do this program, but I really do find people to be understanding and generous when they can be. And that’s the information we need, right? Is it possible? If not, okay, then that’s another thing to put in the hopper for the decision. And I just love that all of us feel comfortable leaving something that isn’t working. I have seen this play out in all of us over the years. You really just won’t find any of us stuck in jobs we hate for decades, which is so common in our culture. And we know there’s always a choice and there’s always another way. And I think I just have seen it serve my kids and it serves me and David as well. PAM: Yeah. And I think that’s the whole point, with the relationships, with connection being in the lead, those processes are something that we can do actively. Like, okay, you’re stuck in a job that you really don't like, you may end up quitting immediately, but also it can be, you’re disliking it more and more and more over time, but we’re having conversations, we’re making plans. It’s not, well, you know, you have this job, it pays well, or whatever reason we say, oh, you need to stay, et cetera. No, you actually can. That's the control piece coming right back in. We can instead focus on that connection piece. We can talk through it more and even later, it feels lighter, at least for me showing up to something maybe I don’t like, but I know I’ve got a plan to move through it. I know where I’m going to keep talking. It’s not black, white, like we were talking right at the beginning there. And then there was just one other tiny piece. And now did I lose it? I’m trying to think what you, oh, oh, it was about, was it about, it was about like, how much we learn, I think, when, oh, yes, it was, it was, sorry. But it’s something that I love to do. When people come to the network. When we have the quitting discussions, et cetera. And, but then, so we talk about like, once they’re interested in something that may be expensive, I love brainstorming all sorts of ways that you can be involved in it without the expensive class. Because so often, certainly at the beginning of our journey, we turn it into – they’re interested in swimming, swimming lessons. Oh, piano, piano lessons, like dance, dance lessons. That’s our first go-to because that is what we know, right? But there are so many other possibilities that can help them experience the thing that they’re interested in and may or may not at some point want actual lessons for it, but you don’t have to wait for the lesson to become involved. You can go swimming in the public pool. There are just so many possibilities. So I love that piece of just brainstorming ideas and people get very excited and off they go to play and it’s very fun. Okay. Okay. Finally, truth number five, strong relationships are key. It’s not about parenting that parent-child power dynamic in which the overarching goal is to turn out a successful adult, right? It’s about being in relationship with your child. This is a lifelong relationship. We’re two human beings. We’re multiple human beings. That relationship shifts over time as they grow and change, as we grow and change. It looks very different when they’re young versus when they’re in their teens versus when they’re young adults versus when they’re older adults. Even if at any given moment, it feels like things will never change, right? But they really, really do. You can’t imagine when this is ever going to change. And, and getting focused on and fixating on when it will change is going to get in your way. But that’s a conversation for another day. A few years ago, I wrote a very long essay about the value of relationships to learning. And I will link in the show notes to anyone who’s interested. But oh my gosh, when I first came to unschooling because my kids were in school, it was like, oh, how are they going to learn, right? And in the last episode, we talked about paradigm shifts around learning. But I really did come to see pretty quickly that I didn’t need to worry about the learning. What I could focus on was a relationships and this shift from control to connection and recognizing that strong relationships really just drive everything like that was key for me. ANNA: Yeah, I think when we switch the lens to being in relationship, things just change dramatically across the board. I’ve talked about it before, but I would just often ask myself – Is what I’m about to say or do going to help or harm our relationship? That kept me focused on what was important to me. And that litmus test really served me well. Because if I’m tending to the relationship, we’re able to navigate the challenges together from a place of connection. So if I’m wanting my kids to be safe. As parents, we kind of see that as a responsibility. They are safest when our relationship is strong and they can come to me versus rules and punishments to try to keep them safe, which serves to disconnect us. If my kids came upon a situation that seemed a little sketchy, they would ask me about it. They knew I wasn’t going to stop the exploration just off the bat, but that I could be a sounding board and a processing partner as they navigated it. For kids who think they’re going to get in trouble, they may push down those niggling thoughts that this doesn’t feel good or something isn’t right here because they want to learn more. There’s still something intriguing about it to them and they know their parents might deem it unsafe and stop the exploration altogether. And really that puts them in harm’s way without the support of someone who cares about them. And this applies when they’re young and maybe even more so when they’re teens. We always had a policy of, I will come get you no matter what, no questions asked if they ever needed out of something. And they also knew they could use me as an excuse. My mom needs me to come home. Because then it wasn’t about me stopping their exploration. It was about giving them tools, tools to get out of situations if they needed it, tools they could use to explore safely. And that’s just the safety lens. But this really applies to all areas. If we have trusted people in our corner, we’re going to be able to explore and learn more. And I think we can see that in our adult lives too. When we feel supported and loved and cared for, we’re so much more likely to learn and grow. Those basic needs have been met, we’re so much more likely to explore and learn and push the limits of what we can do. And I think that’s the piece that you’re getting at, Pam, right? This is the basis for learning. These relationships really, that is what makes learning happen and easier. ERIKA: Yeah, I think those strong relationships with people we trust helps us in every area of our lives. And it’s the same for our children. And I love the parts about how it helps with safety and with learning. It just makes so much sense. I had a book club with a bunch of unschooling parents, and we were reading Pam’s book together many years ago. And Pam joined us on a call one week. And we were all, I mean, everybody’s like, oh my god, Pam. It was very fun. But I remember having a bit of the conversation, someone felt like they had messed things up, they maybe had an argument with their child, or in some way felt like it was just this negative interaction, it didn’t feel good. And the question was more along the lines of, how can I do better? How can I stop doing that? And Pam’s idea was about how the repair is the important part. Because we’re trying to maintain this connection and relationship with our kids. But we’re humans, and we’re imperfect. And we’re going to say and do things that hurt our children at times, or we’ll say or do things that hurt other people in our lives at times. And so we can let that moment crush us and pull us away from them. And we can just dive into negative self-talk about what a terrible job we’re doing. Or we can see those moments as opportunities to own our parts, own our words and our actions, apologize for the impact, and make the repair with the person that we care about. I get goosebumps thinking about this, because it’s such a more powerful place to be. And it doesn’t require us to be perfect, which we cannot be. But since relationships are so important in all of these ways, when hard things happen in the relationships, knowing that we will be able to move through it, that builds trust between us and the other person. And it gives us more capacity to weather the next challenging thing, whether it’s something outside of our relationship, or the next misunderstanding between each other. And so I always come back to keeping my relationship strong. How can I feel more connected? How can I give my children the feeling that I understand them, and I’m here for them? And it doesn’t always mean I’m talking with them more, or even spending more time together. It’s really figuring out what do they want from me in this particular season? And since they’re unique individuals, what is it that’s helping us feel connected in this moment, in this season? And now that they’re teenagers, we do a lot of reflecting on, remember when that was hard, and we got through it? Things like that. I feel like it really helps us all build resilience and realize that being humans is sometimes hard, and we’re always learning, and I’m always learning. And I feel like me being vulnerable in that way just develops trust between me and my kids. And looking at that, what is going to help us in this moment just to increase our connection is such a valuable place to take a look. PAM: I love that. I love that you brought that up, because yeah, the whole thing, you'd say strong relationships are key. So I need to be perfect at that. I need to do my best at that. That’s the most important thing. I might have mentioned it at the time, the attachment parenting book I had read, because it’s the thing that knocked me, it’s like, oh really? That around 50% or so of our interactions with our children go awry in big ways or in little ways, and that it is the repair that brings us back, right? It’s not trying to avoid it, because imagine what someone feels if they think someone else is perfect. Oh, they’re perfect at that. They make all the right choices. That does nothing but put pressure to be perfect on them. They’ll be putting that on themselves as well. I want to be as good, etc. So, understanding that repair piece, that is so much where trust is built. That we’re coming back, that we’re going to be engaging again. We’re going to be moving through this, and as you said, using those previous examples of times you guys have moved through challenging things, and just bringing those up when new challenging things come up. We may not know how this is gonna resolve, but we know that we’ll find our way through it. We can trust that. So I love that so much, and thank you. Thanks so much to you both for having this conversation. I feel like we touched on a lot of interesting pieces, so I hope people find it helpful. Thanks so much to all our listeners for joining us. We hope you enjoyed this dive into the second stage of the de-schooling phase of our journey as we challenge some of our conventional beliefs about parenting, and we invite you to join us in the Living Joyfully Network to continue the conversation. It is a warm and welcoming online community of like-hearted parents, a non-judgmental space where you can steep in these unconventional unschooling ideas, and just explore what they might look like day-to-day in your uniquely wonderful family. And your first month is free, so you can get a sense of whether the community is a good fit for you. We are very excited to welcome you. To learn more and join us, just follow the link in the show notes or go to livingjoyfully.ca and choose Network in the menu. Wishing everyone a lovely day. Thanks so much. Bye!

Send us a Question!MOVIE DISCUSSION:Kathryn joins Melvin to discuss Loner, an underseen in-world/found-footage, semi-horror, semi-drama film! Loner has more than its gorgeous setting to offer, from it's slow, contemplative pace to its curiously complex main character, and the two get into that and more in this episode. Tune in now! Topics:(PATREON EXCLUSIVE) 21-minutes discussing Supergirl's shockingly terrible opening box-office numbers, if the age of the Spielberg/Lucas-esque adventure blockbuster is over, and the ever-changing landscape of entertainment in 2026. (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)First things first, Loner is more than the average "man lost in woods with camera" movie; the cinematography looks beautiful.Wishing there was more horror in this horror movie, but accepting it as the horror-lite psychological drama that it is.Melvin confesses that his general bitterness toward "male loneliness epidemic" characters prevented him from enjoying the film as much as he could have, and also finds it convicting.Kathryn observed a dichotomy between fantasy and truth, and explores how the film portrayed these things.Melvin, however, approaches it a little differently. He compares the film's portrayal of technology against nature, and how that's explored through manhood; or patriarchy.Melvin, "No person has lived well alone."The ending leaves Melvin a little confused. For Kathryn, the ending seems clearer, albeit still a little strange.Did Angus learn the right lesson at the end?Recommendations:Afflicted (2013) (Movie)Go To Sleep (2026) (Movie) Support the showSupport on Patreon for Unique Perks! Early access to uncut episodes Vote on a movie/show we review One-time reward of two Cinematic Doctrine Stickers & PinsSocial Links: ThreadsWebsiteInstagramLetterboxdFacebook Group 

Joshua Invented His First Wishing Machine! Enjoy this week’s show as Josh demonstrates the mystical properties of this very cool and practical item born from the Wizard’s thoughts and imagination!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the show, we're sharing the debut of Positive Charge, a new GeekWire podcast from reporter Lisa Stiffler and producer Laura Scott about the innovations that could help save the planet. In this episode, they dig into the high-stakes race to harness the power of the sun and make fusion energy real, visiting two Seattle-area startups chasing this dream, and asking whether limitless clean power is finally within reach. Also out this week: their debut episode on the "forever chemicals" in our water and the companies figuring out how to destroy them. Follow Positive Charge wherever you get your podcasts, or at geekwire.com/positivecharge. Positive Charge is presented with support from Amazon Sustainability. Sources and references David Kirtley, Helion Energy, CEO and co-founder Manav Singh, Helion Energy, director of electrical engineering Matthew Thompson, Zap Energy, senior vice president of fission technology and former vice president of systems engineering and pulsed power Laura Berzak Hopkins, Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory, associate laboratory director for Strategy and Partnerships, and deputy chief research officer GeekWire’s related coverage: Helion gives behind-the-scenes tour of secretive 60-foot fusion prototype as it races to deployment Helion makes big bet on ‘Tiny Merge’ fusion testbed to meet aggressive Microsoft timeline Inside Zap: Fusion pioneer tries to build ‘a star in a jar’ to unlock abundant clean energy Zap Energy’s nuclear double play: Fusion startup adds traditional fission to its lineup, in industry first See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bob Proctor shares a powerful lesson on identity, imagination, and acting like the person you want to become. In this inspiring message, he reveals why the shyest people can transform completely, how one decision changed his entire path, and why your imagination is either your greatest ally or your worst enemy. This episode will challenge you to stop wishing, act as if, and start now.Source: Paradigm Shift Live eventHosted by Sean CroxtonFollow me on InstagramSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tonight we'll slow down and unwind with a gentle real person ASMR session featuring soft ear attention, hair play, delicate brushing, tracing, rhymes-drawings and comforting touch. This style of relaxation has always been one of my favorites to create, and I hope it helps you feel calm, cared for, and deeply at ease. A special thank you to Veronica https://www.instagram.com/veronicarozze for her patience, kindness, and wonderful presence throughout this collaboration. Wishing you a peaceful evening and the sweetest dreams.

What if wishing isn't childish… but one of the most powerful tools for creating your future? Today's guest reveals the surprising science that can turn wishful thinking into real-world results.   We all have wishes.   A healthier body. A thriving business. A loving relationship. More joy, freedom, abundance, and purpose.   But what separates a wish that stays a dream from one that becomes reality?   In this fascinating conversation, Rebecca Whitman sits down with author, speaker, and change catalyst Brownell Landrum to explore the powerful intersection of science, mindset, and manifestation. Brownell shares the research and real-world tools behind her book The Art & Science of Wishing, revealing how our brains, beliefs, emotions, and actions work together to help us create the life we truly desire.   Whether you're wishing for greater success, deeper fulfillment, better relationships, or a more balanced, beautiful, and abundant life, this episode will give you practical tools you can start using today.   In This Episode You'll Discover:   ✨ The difference between wishful thinking and effective wishing   ✨ Why many adults stop dreaming—and how to reconnect with your desires   ✨ The surprising science behind manifestation   ✨ How your brain helps you notice opportunities aligned with your wishes   ✨ The biggest mistakes people make when trying to manifest their dreams   ✨ How to turn ordinary wishes into “Cosmic Wishes”   ✨ The role of gratitude, visualization, emotion, and inspired action   ✨ How to create more balance, beauty, and abundance in every area of your life   ✨ Why giving yourself permission to dream may be the first step toward transformation   This episode is a beautiful reminder that your dreams matter—and that creating a life you love may be more within your control than you think.   Connect with Brownell Landrum:   Website: https://brownelllandrum.com   Book: The Art & Science of Wishing   Connect with Rebecca Whitman:   Website: https://www.rebeccaelizabethwhitman.com   Instagram: @rebeccaewhitman   If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who needs a little more hope, possibility, and abundance in their life.   Remember: You are worthy of a balanced, beautiful, and abundant life.

Written by Simon ChadwickCome and follow more adventures on our animated TV show on Youtube!