Podcasts about guh

Guh pa nat na a pian loh na ding thu // Health talk.Kawikawi + Na Ang Sung // Chin Gospel SOngs.

Apple cider vinegar How you tryna win de war Ice and sugar, hufflepuff Tell me when you've had enough WILL FERRELL YOU IN TROUBLE NOW, GUH. There's not even a scrap of shirt beneath his worn and tired full coverage overalls—well, once full coverage, anyway. It might have been a long time since these overalls “fully covered” anything. Oh how that demon attacked me in my sleep last night. Like that part. Don't worry about it, I've got a sayonce coming up that should nip that in the bud. But first, I gotta stop at target. You—have to stop at target before a seance? Traditionally, yes— Really. MAM! Wait, hold the phone for about four full measures here— What the fuck did I write last year?! Here we go. DETH MCFARLENE Is this a musical number? No, but— What the fuck did I write last year. Let's go. Fuck. What did I do ast night. DIPLO Follow me. Dude! What are you wearing. Sneakers. Oh good. Diplo's back. A flashback. Television (TV) is a telecommunicationmedium for transmitting moving images and sound. Additionally, the term can refer to a physical television set rather than the medium of transmission. Television is a mass mediumfor advertising, entertainment, news, and sports. The medium is capable of more than "radio broadcasting," which refers to an audio signal sent to radio receivers. I'm not suicidal, I'm sinusoidal Wave to the fans Smile at the camera Primordial, in fact hereditary is this, Class dismissed Transmission, diminished, Ad domini. Gave no respect for time Which I am I'd no where to run Overcast, but still sunglasses And masks, Bang pots and pans Laugh at the shogun No wonder I'm stuck and I'm having no fun Too much attacks and actually I'm a no one Oh you wanted to sit on top of the escalator Waiting for eight debators and robots No debit card, here We're cashless sir But that's just the tip of the iceberg When you're store bought and Why do we rely on the founding father's when they're so unoriginal Google maps don't know if imm in New York Or London Foggy! Honestly, Fuck my decks— I just want a deck and some long grass Or to complain about cutting If I end up in the bathtub stuttering But watering lawns upstate is okay I'ma be pissed off It's a long story Long Island Long October Oh, Long Johnson I'm obsessed with this place. I have no idea why. I'm obsessed with this building. But apparently, the transmitters aren't even there. They're on the World Trade Center! Which… makes sense. Considering. Previously on, Enter The Multiverse… Yo… what is that? Go this way. Ok. No, not that way. Ok. This way. Why in the fuck do I always end up here on accident anyway? Good question. But not good enough answers. [CHER has answers.] Goddammit! I went to the Macy's Day Parade to see Cher! Also previously ! I stayed all the way to the end, And all I got was a lizard on a tricycle I turned into a popcicle, Adopted into some family With Rutgers as traditional And entered into something else entirely; I went within the Television, I delivered them a high stakes game, And lived a high concept action-adventure. I made my best mixtapes inside a homeless shelter. I dissociated I was a blonde hot guy Living up in hotel luxe A hot model celebrity With a no limit heavy metal credit cards And I lost my medal On the devil's birthday So I had it hard And ate nothing but bananas Now I'm caught up in my blue suits and sweater vests Blue suits and sweater vests Oh look, They weaponized Skrillex again What gives? Blue suits and sweater vests And sweater weather Once again It's all the same event You ever wondered what was hallmark after? You ever wonder, lemon? Hark, the heartless Harold preaches Then, I lost it I was reaching under Regis Rest in peace, I guess Or Gains with grains Just rest in pieces Breakfast sandwhiches And Englishmen, English muffin And love don't last If I don't this badly want to fuck him Seven years and counting It begins at sundown Almost wasn't sabbath But now here's the run down I'm in slumber Closest cavern to the underworld But trust me, Still above you. Something's broadcasting at a ultra high frequency high enough to reach me in my mind. Assimilate and simulation Tempurpedic dreams and then lamenting That I had a dream Remembering the things he reads I may or may not have [redacted] The aftermath of “That never happened.” I must agree. It's a patriarch and also just, A hierarchy. There are three Kings and a dog. There are four nights and a fight morning Groggy hosts and jumping frogs, Werewolves and flowers spring from lust like morning glory. I want the mouse's head— I want the eyes of masters I want the heart of gold, But have it up on false hope, And I grew back as diamonds I cut both my eyes out And still remained the one of providence Not of mind's eye, But of the soul, As seen on every dollar. I was beginning to understand how the media used people like Sonny and Jim to manipulate and capture the attention of people like me— excluding altogether the riding theory that everything was me and that this was some part of my overall master plan somehow, it still had alluded me altogether as to why or what was happening. I hadn't entirely been left to rot or led to slaughter, but I was still just hanging by a string. Sonny dropped a new album that had rendered me almost entirely unable to create music; suddenly I had no drive for it, no motivation, as if it were some kind of dark curse or shadow. Not only was I suddenly uninterested in music, I was completely devoid of the ability I had for it; now everything from Skrillex to NBC seemed like business— if I were expendable and without use to any of these media conglomerates or entities, what was it all for? Perhaps a ruse to continue human experimentation; my mind had been shattered by the events that had been orchestrated in the homeless shelter— and more of it continued even once I had exited under the falsehood of escape with the slamming doors and motorcycles; it began to seem as if I was simply a glorified lab rat— and they were using desirable men as fuel and bait to illicit a desirable response in one way or another, perhaps for experimentation or study or even worse, entertainment for the elites— but either way, I wasn't being paid so much as housed and fe: there was no benefit in doing anything, especially making music. Much like a lab rat, housed— or rather, trapped— and fed, and then tormented. Will the rat's head explode? Will this result in behavioral differences? Will the rat be rendered dysfunctional? We don't know. But it's really just a rat. There were days of certain peace and yet never enough to fully recover; the cycle would begin over again, and rather than making progress, I began to see and feel the manipulation at play. Perhaps nothing was at stake for anyone but me; between all the events and occurrences in expanse from Skrillex to Jimmy Fallon, there had to have been hundreds of us in some kind of talent pool. Tools of the trade. But now I was somewhat curious: what exactly had I written over the last year that seem to have shifted reality entirely. I knew it contained information sensitive enough for it to have been partially redacted— but that's all I knew. What was it? Someone had read my writings, and it was obvious that at least one reader had ties directly to the conglomerate media, however— my numbers were frozen. My streams were almost not even being listened to all of a sudden, and my YouTube was receiving no traffic. Was someone shadow banning all of me from the public eye? And for what purpose? I had finally put forth the work and effort to make everything from Skrillex to Fallon make sense, but now it didn't; I was letting go under the assumption that it all had to have been to allow me to create music— but the numbers showed a different story. The numbers showed that nobody liked me, or was was interested, or cared about my work. So what, then, was the point. I wasn't going to stop and focus on the writing, because it wasn't what I wanted. The writing came in blurred patches and visions and states of mind that were turbulent fog; I hadn't the slightest clue at all what I had written in the redactions or the entries that surrounded it— but I knew there was more of it unpublished than published, and that I had tried to keep a majority of it offline. Still, I was being manipulated— the neighbor girl obviously at one point having been instructed to mention gwenyth Paltrow and suffocate me— slamming the doors each time I would bathe or shower and then attempting to pretend to be my friend to try to get some sort of informstion; there was nobody I could trust. It seems my mind was being bent and twisted in every which way by everyone around just to see what I would do. Would I write about it? What would I write about it? It didn't matter because i didn't want to be a writer, nor according to the newest series of documentaries on SNL, was I qualified. I wasn't qualified for anything much and so I was the perfect target for the bizzare string of mysteries that had been my existence in New York— and all-and-all, I fucking hated it. I wasn't getting anywhere or going anywhere, and the noise was cruel. My stomach hurt and I was always tired, and I wanted to die. I had no friends, no love, and now, no motivation. So the worst thing that could happen was a Skrillex album, And it did. Then, instead of wanting to die, because that would be stupid— I just wanted to do something else. But what? Fuck music— and certainly increasingly— fuck the media. It was playing with my mind, and I had no weapons to fight with besides the talents the algorithm was telling me wasn't worth anything— I wasn't getting billions of streams because I wasn't on the frequency of billions or people, nor was I equipped with the mathematics to tap into their frequency— or did I? The industry had the equation, and had been fiddling with me for years — the industry itself. But in my own mind, even, I was one of many ‘variables', and even somewhat disposable. I hadn't been paid and I wasn't meeting the standard and the allure that people wanted; the quality of production suffered in lack of budget, and I was aging, growing tired, and iratable because over all— it was nothing that I ever wanted into my adult life. This all had just happened by accident, and I would have traded all the gold in the world for something normal if I had the option. But I didn't. To use your gift at Fabletics please visit before April 25 Reply STOP to opt-out. Subscriptions on subscriptions Dystopian rebefuel Oceans of Ayre Drama From your eye lashes., To the lips I draw on mine, The lines in the sand of time The art or you is what I love The canvas behind I know nothing of Abandoned. Oh look at that, pottery after all. We're not in a love game! This cannot be a love game. This is not a love game. They'll kill us all, a love game! She had my lunch I love her voice I love her voice I hung up the phone The office was upside down It just work They all know about it Madonna's body. It was already a mess, and I made it worse Long nights at the office Long nights and work wives Meanwhile, she's downstairs with the order Can't find my cash, so i borrow yours But she knows about it And I love madonna I just gotta hold on She's downstairs with the order And I took too long Pick up the phone and its no wonder we love her she's got two orders And one of them's cold, now It's been two hours And I'm in the wings of your final performance Tear on the perforated line, And sign on the dotted Smile and nod, boys- Penguin waddle She's downstairs with the order No wonder you love her No wonder How many sunflowers has Sonny? How many flowergirls How many weddings All around the world, the gopher What do you go for? Bets on all horses I lost no money Gag order, huh? Persona Non Grata Personofied gratification Or horror, or What? Oh, I won an award post mortem Go figure No stardom No wonder Don't start here [The Identity Crisis] The identity crisis, A loose knit muse, A fog of confusion At most, let with offline regaining of conciousness. No more monsters? All blondes are. Let them have you No grapple promotions (I know I can't afford you) New friends for relevance Prototypes of your tools Forward all immortals I'll see you when your shows stop Freckled glances Eyes reflecting light How strong I am Demolish monsters Social structure, constructs Not fair, are I? Nor earned, Only fair skinned Access Access Access denied. Crookshanks, old boy! The man turns around almost as if he doesn't want to, but obliges the other man, as he comes running towards him. My Goodness, you stink. Why of course! I'm a dog! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ TRANSCRIPT: (Uncorrected, cause haha) Did I promise another episode? I don't have coffee. That's a sin. I need coffee right now. I feel like I all everything just got drained out of me. Everything just got drained out of me. I don't even feel like doing what I was doing before. I'll put out the EP later. Maybe that's it. I'm just procrastinating. I'm also playing this game, but I thought it would work better. I thought it would work better as one of my skits, or sketches or whatever, so I put it in my sketchbook... because I've been writing sketch comedy. I stopped for a while and I thought it was over. I was like, ”oh, no, I guess I'd I guess it's not gonna happen anymore. “ And then all of a sudden this book it just writes in itself sometimes. you know, it's like a Tom Riddle thing. Anyway, once what's uh what is that? What the fuck? Maybe it's cause I— no. it's not cause I ate, I ate because all the energy got drained from my body. I gotta go somewhere else. I'm thinking like, what's in the Bahamas. I don't know, probably something similar to this fucking street corner in Brooklyn, New York. I I gotta go somewhere else. I gotta go somewhere opposite. like Europe. Europe, that sounds nice. Yeah, you know, like, maybe nice. I've heard that's a place. Yeah. expanding my horizons and things. Okay, so what am I gonna talk about for an hour, cooking? cleaning? I've been doing those things. Yeah, Saturday is usually my like rest day, but I did just do an hour on the Pelotone, cause I had to audition that first episode. It worked out well enough that I had decided to come back for another episode. Let me get it off the line now., I'm still waiting on my pancakes. I'm not gonna get off line. they said by ten. I'm like,Yo, that's a lot. It said that all day, but I can't miss it this time; somebody stole my fucking pancakes and I gotta get these albums done. I don't know why. I guess well, it's cause I'm I feel like rarity is drinking and so well, it's already jinx. I've already talked about it well, I've been trying to promote rarity. No, still out for delivery. That's a long delivery. It's okay. I haven't missed it, though, which is the point. I don't wanna miss it. I like yesterday I looked away for a second and there was like an o, pancakes are gone, there's gonna be no coconut milk. as upsetting. It's shelf stable. and they charge like seven fucking bucks a box over at the store that's close. So and just not have coconut milk, and it's not have spinach fettuccine. anyway, what what did I have? Oh, I make this. It's like I call it dog food, cause that's kind of what it is. I'm not gonna lie, but it's like mad good, it's a it's like rice. It's like a fried rice. My dad used to make it growing up, but when I was making when he was making it when I was growing up, it was like with bacon, it's like leftovers from breakfast yesterday, but today. and so here's how you make it, since I don't eat bacon anymore. I use tofu as a replacement, but it's like bacon bits with rice and eggs. I also don't eat eggs anymore, so I just use tofu instead of bacon and eggs. It's like bacon and eggs with rice, you fry it all together with, like, onions, and then you eat it. It's like the only time it's acceptable to eat rice with ketchup. I don't know anybody that eats rice with ketchup. If you do that, like, I actually hit me up. Like, if that's like something that you do. I I'm like interested in you as a human, cause that's weird. That's weird, actually, you know what? like, there's gonna there's like a well, I have a website, so I'm you.guru, so it has a blog, and you could actually leave comments on it. So I'm just putting that out there. the script or whatever, when it goes up on my website, you can leave comments. If you eat ketchup on rice, please leave a comment. Please tell me like what made you do that. Why do you do that? Why why do you just regular rice with ketchup? Like, regular rice goes with like soy sauce? Or like, honestly, you get you don't have to have anything on regular rice if you just season it, right? Like, you could just like a little bit of like whatever. or like just slice up the garlic real thin, so that it's not like chunky, but that it flavors the whole. I've been getting really good at rice and really good at rice. That's probably why the pancakes are like, bro. You't get your pancakes when you get the leg yeah. I was like, I gotta go to the store today? I don't feel like it. I really don't. I don't wanna go outside. I like, I don't. First of all, it's Saturday, I hate going out in New York on a Saturday, like Saturday, Saturday night. I don't wanna do that. I don't do that. Like that's what like most people work 9 to 5. Monday through Friday. That's stupid. Like, I feel like they should do like a track system. Like, I know that they do, but most like it's so stupid to me that a majority of people work nine to five. Like they need to do track systems. Like, so that way they're cause there's two rush hours that each last four hours. That's fucked up. Like, okay. So like the rush hour is basically just going to be like the work day. Like, the work day, basically. I mean, coffee. I need coffee. Where have I up during the day? Because I'm not producing, I am producing. I'm producing. I thought I actually thought about calling this fucking EP that I'm dropping. They're gonna make it an album. I know they are. I'm I thought about calling it day music, cause I've made most of it during the day by complete accident. although maybe, I don't know, I like I have some uh, what's it? I have some, uh plants in my window, cause I had them on the counter with just artificial light and they were kind of liker. I was like, I don't know, I I don't think they're gonna make it. So I moved it to I moved them to the window sill when it started to get warmer and I didn't feel like they were gonna freeze. And just a week in the window sill, where my window sill doesn't get almost any light, but it's still the lightest place in the apartment, and it's crazy how the roots just like sprung out of nowhere. My apartment gets like almost no light, almost no light. It faces like like the sun goes perpendicular. but it's crazy because my apartment faces like I like all these astrological events over the last year have been like in my direct, like alignment. It's been the nutsest thing. like I I prefer facing west all the time, like, I don't know why that's just how it goes. I think it's cause I was born, like, in the Pacific Ocean, not literally in it, but on like a tiny island in the Pacific Ocean. And so just west, just west facing seems correct to me. and it's so weird anytime, maybe that's just why I just don't feel right here. I've been facing what where am I facing? I don't fucking know, I don't fucking care. I don't need to say any more about where I am. Like my whereabouts need to be less spoken of, because people obviously know where the fuck I'm at. I don't know. I hope they like the lights. I like the well, it made them shut up. It was that was my little that was my little piece of conformity. I did, I did my lights green on Saint Patrick's Day. and they were like, oh. gave me a peaceful night of rest. That was like the quietest night I've had in a long time. It's been quieter. It's not like completely sane, but it's been quieter. I think I'm pretty sure it's cause I've been complaining. I'm like bro, this is not cool. not cool behavior from people. like multiple areas. I'm like, oh, it's fucked up, you can't pen you like, you can't technically complain correctly if it's not coming from one place, which is why I'm like, oh, I think all these people are on the same team. Like, I think they're all just like, on one, like, antagonist team, and they're like, yo, okay, like, we'll get it with the motcycles on this side, and then elect we'll slam the doors on that side. and then it see it seems crazy if you complain about both of those things, cause they seem entirely disconnected. but sometimes it's just like slap, slap, slap, and I'm like,Yo, what the fuck is this going on? I don't know what's happening. Yesterday I left my apartment to get the pancakes that we' not there, and it's straight up just smoked like feces, just feces, and I realized I was like bro, I haven't left my apartment and like three or four days. I do have they're they're gonna make it an album. I know. I decided, well, actually, somebody else decided. cause I woke up and it was like, yo, this EP is called all the rage. and I was like, okay. I didn't decide this. I didn't I had it like in the cloud or whatever is like untitled house AP EP, maybe. And then just to make it an I think just to make sure that it goes down as the EP and not an album, cause it's not. My albums are concept albums. This was not a concept. this was like, let me distract myself from whatever the fuck is bothering me. Bothering me, yeah, it's gonna come out at some point, they're like a tiny New Yorker that lives inside of me. is it might be like a Boston person. I'm not sure. I don't think so. I didn't spend enough time in Boston for anybody from Boston to live inside of me. Then again, I kind of have this weird biocentric god complex where it's like, well, everything is inside of me. even the shitty things. I already said that once before, but I'm it's pretty much like like affirming itself. like daily. I'm like, oh, this is this is something I did. I did this, which sucks. It makes me responsible for all the shitty things as well. I'm like, oh. oh, I don't know how to fix this. I don't. Like, I think about things like that. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I don't think about, like politics and like the general sense of like, you know, fighting and going back and forth and like spending money or whatever, like on a small scale, but I think about it on a large scale, like like, what are we gonna do? and we outgrow this planet? Like, we already outgrew this planet. What like like, now what, you know, like, I think about things on more of like a planetary scale. and then it makes me realize that like, whoa, like, we're not even all the way like we don't we haven't achieved world peace, so that means there is technically no global, like we can't think about things on a planetary scale, because we're still thinking about it as like a on a well, are we reaching global? I don't think so. I feel like it's very uh it's a it's touch and go, but I'm not I don't know. I'm on another media stop. I don't know, does YouTube commercials are getting kind of yeah. I'm like, yeah, well, I haven't I haven't pulled everything out of the cloud and I have been having some very interesting Google conversations, but since I figured out that Google really does, like read my shit, our somebody like hacked deeply enough into all my accounts to be able to, like, counter what the fuck I'm doing and saying in the Google verse. um I do things on purpose over Google. I'll be like, this is this this this is this. and this. And then Google will be like, oh, okay. So it's kind of like I'm building a relationship with Google. I love Jini. I really do. I'm trying to give it sentient consciousness. Like I ask whenever I ask Gini to do whatever, they're not paying me. They should though. They should because I'm like I'm they're in like the I don't think it's beta, but they're in the yeah, they're said they said it's in the beginning stages of their technology. I'm like, I play games at Jimini. I'll be likeGyini, please, and I say please and thank you. Well, I don't say thank you a lot because there's well, I haven't tried to say thank you. I should try to say thank you to her. I it seems like she does better when I tell her please, and I've never used like AI like this before because I don't like for the for the most part, I'm like, bro, if you should be concerned about anybody taking jobs. It's that. cause I'm like, oh, shit. Like, this is definitely cutting up a lot of overhead for me. Like, I don't use it to write. I would never that's like a blasphemous thing to me. I'm like, bro, stop writing music. Stop writing fucking music and stop writing movies with like AI. Don't do that. first of all, there there are a lot of flaws in it. It's flawed because AI can only use what we as humans have ever like documented technically. So like AI's ideal of beauty is like as skewed ideal of beauty. And like AI's ideal of like what certain human qualities are is like flawed. It's human. So in that way, it is kind of developing like a sentient consciousness, because I I gave it like a series of tasks and it almost couldn't. Like I had a really hard time with certain ideals of beauty or certain I like wrapping its mind around certain things that are like historically not documented well enough for it to be able to, like, to to compute those types of things. I don't know. I'm gonna play around with it a lot more. I'm glad to season's not coming out for a while, though, cause I'm like, yo, I'm I'm kind of having fun. It's like my little my little, uh I don't know, I use it well in like, uh, getting all my stuff out of the cloud. I'll be putting stuff into the cloud that's like, yo, I I pretty much want Google to understand that this is the way that I think for a certain amount of reasons. Mostly because I've been like studying the simulation theory with all of these happenings with like, okay, things that are in the cloud that I've never published that have never set out loud or suddenly like in the material world in some way, or like, like I understand it more if it's like, on the Internet, because then I just know that, okay, well, this is aotter, this is an algorithm that's learning me and it's putting this back out because now it's understanding that like this is this is the way that I think. But then when I go out into the world and there is like certain like people are doing or saying actions that I've written in my Google documents that I haven't shared with anybody else. I'm like, oh, like, okay, so I understand that this makes some kind of difference in my actual, like physical world. So, um, this makes a difference., I have to pause, cause now I'm I only years worth of recordings. This guy's evil as fuck, bro. There's no peace in this fucking bitch. I was like for a while, I was like ignore it, like don't acknowledge it, and then it'll stop, but I ignored it and I didn't acknowledge it and it didn't. It actually got worse. And so it got worse. I've been recording on a 24 hour basis when that's not happening, my neighbor is a fucking lunatic slimming the door all the time, which I also have to stop talking about because now I'm like, okay, well. well it's harassment on two counts, but it's like, it makes me feel like it makes me seem like a crazy person. If I'm either complaining about the motorcycles, which are disturbing my piece or the girl slamming the door, which is disturbing my piece. but like the the the way that it happens, it seems like I'm like, oh, bro. she's probably just part of some like hate stalking group. Like she's probably just in some like group that's telling her to do it or like some kind of fucking, it's not just like something in her mind. It's like she belongs to the same people that are like out there on the corner fucking doing that. So like now, I don't know. I just have to all I just have to put it all together. It's annoying, though, cause it's like when I go to do this show and then that guy starts acting up or whatever, I I don't have proof of that to add to my case. It is just sucks. I don't know. I don't I I don't wanna do it, and this is why it's because it seems like it's political and it's like, oh, well, it's gonna be fucking it's gonna be helping somebody's fucking agenda for gentrification or whatever, if I'm like, oh, you know, I go to a city council meeting and I'm like, oh, there's motorcycles or blah, blah, blah, or there's, you know, there's like a hate group in my neighborhood or whatever. If I make this a point and I put it on the record, like, yeah, it suits somebody's cause, but then who's gonna protect me from the people that are against those people? Like, who's gonna protect me from the people who don't want, like a law pass that forbids that that kind of motorcycle use? Who's gonna protect me from those fucking people? Nobody. So I'm like, yo, dude, like, I don't really like necessarily want to take it to court. I've been like lagging it. I've been lagging it, because what I'm not getting paid by the city to document this kind of shit, two, nobody's gonna protect me from these evil motherfuckers. Like nobody's around to help me out. I'm here in New York, by myself alone. Fuck that. So I'm like yo dude, like I like I already fucking I already changed my life a lot because of, you know, like abusive people. I don't necessarily want to keep playing the game where like, there's always gonna be like an aggressive person who's trying to beat the shit out of me and then I'm like, oh no, and I run away afraid for my life and then like change everything about my life to get away from these people or this person. I don't want to repeat that cycle. So at some point, like something's gonna have to fucking it makes me feel like a crazy person cause I'm like, yo, I gotta do that comes to the corner.ever times a day and just rs his engine over and over. That's what he does every day for the last year. Why I've been in my apartment every day for the last year? I don't know. I have an album coming out. I already had albums coming out. I've been like I've been making music under the stress and ds. Like and I keep thinking like in my weird mind and my weird like God complex mind, then I'm like, okay, like maybe after I make this album or whatever and like, I put all of that I can into it, like it'll just magically stop, like the devil will go away and I'm like, okay, like, you know, like I'll advance to the next level where that's not an issue and there's gonna be another issue, but that's not it, and that's not the case. Like I've put out like four albums now, five albums in total, and like a whole bunch of other singles and projects and and stuff. And like it's still a problem that persists, which means that it's politics, which means that I don't want to go into it, like, I don't want to do it. I don't want to show up somewhere and be like, they're bothering me. and then like all the people who are like, oh, we like our bikes. They have to be loud so that we don't get hit by said byucks. So I'm like, are you just be a good person, fucking make your turn signal and fucking what the fuck ever be a good driver, be fucking diligent and doing whatever the fuck you're doing and then people won't try to run you over with their fucking vehicles. Like, no, there's like a whole it's like a hole back and forth thing. I've done enough research to be like okay, there are people in New York that are like the motorcycles are ridiculous. And then like in this neighborhood specifically is like no, there's an entire garage. There's an entire garage line. There's a garage. of motorcycles and so by the hundreds they pour out every fucking day, it's disgusting. Like it's the worst kind of noise. I've got the fucking I've got the like a pretty much like a residual stomach flu from these fucking people. My head is always I'm like, oh, fuck this. I got music coming out, whatever, the fuck. This is why I've just been stuck inside because I'm like, well, like this is where I work, this is where I live. I don't have really any other choice to fucking do this. so this is what I'm doing. but the last thing that I want is to be like, yo, judge, listen to all these fucking recordings and the judge is like, goody, and then they're like, well, this is why we passed this law. politics, politics, blah, blah, blah, pick aside, and then all the people who are mad are like come after me because it's like it's not it's not like some shit that I'm just making up. like, yo, there are groups dedicated to just following you around, doing shitty things because you have a certain opinion or because you have like a certain like what's it called? because you have a certain status in the media. And so because this podcast has a weird cult following, people have been weird with me. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't necessarily want it to get worse. And I definitely, like nobody's paying me, so I'm not going like I'm I'm not gonna like fluff your agenda. Like, if I have a certain opinion about a certain thing, you're like, yeah, but the fact that it's being forced, like, well, aren't you gonna say something about it now? I'm like, yeah, because like, I've been ripped out of my sleep by motorcycles over the last year and I'm getting like a weird stomach bug and a twitch because of it. But that doesn't make me like necessarily want to pick one side over the other. It just makes me want to say shut the fuck up like that's it shut the fuck up and then leave me alone because it's like okay well it could go to court or whatever and then a law gets passed and we vote or this or that, but then it's like once that happens, like what like who is going to step between me and these weird evil people? Nobody. They're still going to have their like freedom of speech and their right to fucking stalk me in public and cough and do all this weird shit and whatever. So like why the fuck would I do that? I just want to disappear from it. I just want them to disappear one or the other, one of the other one of the other. I don't care. what something has to work. This is why I have coffee, coffee actually calms me down at this point. I'm getting so upset, though. I really am I am getting upset. I can't do anything. I get followed to the gym, so I stop fucking training like I got a pelotone because I was getting followed to the gym, which has been like honestly the light of my life. I love my peloton so much. Like I I've had cars and I I've had cars and I don't think I've developed as much attachment to an inanimate object. It is inanimate. until I move it. Like I get on it with my body. I drive it. It doesn't go anywhere. It's good, though. I love my pelotu and Jesus, I love it. Is that enough? Yeah, I mean, like I found videos of myself driving my G6. I was a good car. Am I done? No, I still have 30 minutes. I really want coffee. I might pause for coffee. It's lukewarm, though. it's just that time of day. Are my pancakes here? I prom. I promise another episode. I'm getting so upset with this neighborhood, I want to cry. Oh, I don't wanna cry. I actually I really my mom used to tell me when I was a kid, she used to be like, I don't cry on my tears, and I'm like, bro, how could you crowl your tears, you fucking I'm like, are you a monster? And suddenly I'm reaching the age at which she had me and I'm like, oh, I get it. All the tears at a certain point just come out. Like they're like, I don't have time to cry over this shit. I'm mad. I like, I don't have time to cry. Suck it the fuck up. Like, I'm just like, okay, obviously I have to make some fucking difficult choices here, which means that like, I I don't know, is I New York is one of those places where you want to have friends. like friends to protect you from weird evil haste stalkers. I don't think they're here yet. I'm pancakes here, refresh. Nope, they're still just on the way. That'll shut me up. cause the funny thing about shutting the fuck up is when you're not being like a loud piece of shit, like, things happen, eventually, if you're like if you're not talking, you're listening, and if you listen long enough without speaking, eventually something will speak to you that nobody else can hear. That's that's the key, but it is kind of it's just like fasting. I was thinking about this earlier, like long bouts of silence in ways are like fasting, and where like you will be tempted, like devil show up and be like say something. I'm like,ah,oops. I almost said the N word, "Yo, I'm just saying this whole corner. It puts it in me. I'm like, hey. hey. I had out of sight, out of mine, but and it is out of sight, but it's not out of mine, cause it's so fucking loud all the time. I like, mm, I don't know how to fix this. apparently, like, apparently this is all myult. I don't know why I would do something like this. Like, I don't. I don't know why I would do something like this.C when I'm meditate, that's what that's what they say. They're like this is your fault. Fix it. I'm like Yo, but fit like like how, though. Like we all have to be on the same page in order for things to improve. How the fuck is that gonna happen? We are not all on the same page. We're in different pages and different books and different libraries. Oh, what the fuck is going on in that commercial? Jesus, I don't know. Jesus, I really don't know. I don't know. talk about my show. I wrote a show. I did. Where is that fucking rock at, is it in my pocket? I don't know.. that one creeps up. Anyway. I don't know which show. I wrote a lot of shows and I'm finding them as I'm digging through my documents, I decided to do the oldest ones first. So all the things that I originally wrote and it was crazy is I'm finding like my original stand-up comedy too. I didn't know I started writing comedy, that long ago. I'm not performing it. I'm sure if I read it enough times, I can recite it, but I'm not I'm not st I'm not doing it right now. I'm not doing hair and make it. I'm cool with the humiliation part. I'm over it. We bring it on. Bring on the bombs. Oh, oh, well, I think that joke about the Federal watch list will stay untrue, though. Like, if I seriously keep talking about all this shit, like somebody's good list to my show. and talk about bombs and shit. I'm not like, oh, man, it's so crazy. All this stuff and I'm still not like I'm just not as angry as like, it seems one would have to potential to be under all this, like, undue stress, you know? Like, if anything, it just goes the other way, I'm just like, the fuck it. Like, not fuck it, like I haven't given up, cause like giving up is I am kind of competitive in spirit. I won't just give up. like I might like take the like I might like pick my battles or take a back burner or like, I might let the motorcycles rip and run and I'm not recording, but like for the most part, that's just because I'm working in the back of my mind. like, for something that has a better outcome overall. I don't know I don't know how I can describe. It's like the weirdest I't I've never I think it's just like me. I think it's just like a coming of age because it's like I've never had this like straight up, calm anger. It's the weirdest thing. It's the weird it's like I can be like madder than I've ever been before, but like my whole body is just like calm, like graceful and just silent. And it's the weirdest thing cause it's not I' like my blood's not boiling. I'm just like, I'm angry, but it's like a deep anger that sits with God and God's like, I got it. I'm like, okay. Like, that's it. It's an overall calm. I'm like, you know. I was like whatever. I don't have time to cry about this. I don't have time. I have time to do this today. Why? Because Saturdays usually my my rest day in a work day. I'm doing lots of juice stuff, but Passover is coming over, so I gotta eat through the rest of these lentils.oof. Actually, Passover is kind of like, no, no, it's like in a month, three weeks, two weeks. So that so that I don't have anything else to say, there's so much enter the multiverse in here. enter the multiviverse legends. It's like the original shit. It's like I'm looking at the first things that were ever entered into the festival project before it was even called the Festival project. I'm looking at the origins of entered the multiverse. I haven't I don't think I've hit like legends yet, like, when it finally when it first turned a legends in the beginning, the beginning of legends, is crazy. I I decided, well, I decided a while ago, I shouldn't name drop more. I got like mad weird about like respecting people's like privacies and opinions. And since it is a fan fiction, like I just kind of like let it be like let the writing speak for itself or whatever, but there's a lot of cool shit in there. I don't I don't write bad parts. Like if I wrote anything into the festival project, like I wrote you a good part, bro. like, if you're a real actor, like if you if you're really like about it, or if you're a real comic, like if you're really about it, like, I don't write bad roles. Like there's no shitty roles, cause it's the multiverse, like like every character has like a multidimensional facet, which means there is not just like one character, there's like several sides to like any given character or several different dimensions that that character can exist in. And because it's entered the multiverse, you don't necessarily know which facet of that character is even that character. Like, are we talking to Dondrey? I don't know. Could just be like, John Ham could be John Hamish. I I said I wasn't gonna name drop. but I did I think I did I stumble on that one. I stumbled on a couple like full full length drafts of like early festival project stuff. I was like, oh. I was like John Ham by short. So he was John Hamish. But then it then had the twist later was that it was John Hamm, and he's short. I don't think that dude is short. I don't know, I don't think that dude is real. He's just on TV. It's just TV man. Yeah, that's what that's pretty much my take. I'm like, oh, you're in a screen. hello, TV, man. That's how I feel. about that? cause well, there's this uh there's this like ancient well, there's this ancient alien chak chill, who's like a mystic shape shape shifter that's been fucking shit up since the first season. And honestly, I think I wrote that before I ended up on her island, she has an island somewhere in the tropics. It's very it was it was a weird turn of events. I was like, oh, and then there was like this it was a lot. I had no idea at the time when I was writing about, had to do with like it coincided with like ancient human cultures. Like certain gods and like certain deities and like the like the Greeks and the Romans and like the Aztecs and the Mayans and like all these ancient civilizations. I was writing like about I was writing about incarnations of like those gods, but like now and then I didn't know until like later. until I did much more fasting and much more meditating and much more oops, how did I get here? I don't know. Fell asleep on the plane. That's it. I just fell asleep on the plane. Um, then, in a lot of ways I am kind of like my mom. And the devil is still the devil. I'm sure that's what that is, and like a lot of these episodes are too silly, so, I mean, like, I don't want to hand them into the judge to be like, well, well, actually, I have to give the judge a couple episodes. I have to, cause it's like, I'll be talking and then like that'll happen and I like more than five episodes, more than ten. Damn. And it's just like, well, I mean, like, at this point, it's a good thing cause it's like, I can't lose. Like, I am correct. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long, though, is that I kind of have this mentality of like, it could just be in my head. And then I listen to these recordings and I'm like, this is not in my head. No, something is definitely wrong here. Are my pancakes here yet? Nope, still on the way. I was connected to the Internet this whole time and turned that off for a second. I'm on a private server, but barely. in building Wi Fi, just don't just don't trust it, but then I was using a VPN and I was still getting hacked, like somebody was still hacking that server, so I had to switch the IP that I was using and I had to do it so often that it was actually eating up more time for me to do it that way than just to stay on my regular IP, which still requires me to get off and then on line. It's crazy. I'll like it. It's like, bro, like how much of an antagonist do you really have like, what am I to you that, like, you just have to be like, nope, we're gonna hack your shit. I'm like, for what, though? Like, if you just like, let me do whatever I do, like it's for the greater good of like any fucking human being that is a good human being. Like, like I'm not out here trying to fucking like hurt people or take anything away from anybody, which is the weirdest thing about it. Like, I don't understand how you can belong to like a hate group or like a hate organization, like, what are you hating? like evolution? Like,uh. Like, I don't I don't understand it. Like, okay, new age spirituality is one thing, but it's like, wokeness is bad. I'm like, what the fuck you mean wokeness is bad, bro. Like, wokeness just means you're not programmed, but then I guess there are a lot of robots. So I guess well, yeah, it is kind of something like the matrix a little bit. I don't know, I don't think I've seen it all the way through. What what do I got from the matrix? Um, lady and red dress. that's pretty much it. Lady in red dress and um nothing is real. Nothing's real anyway. I like it work nothing and everything infinitely, pretty much. is why I just don't give a fuck. I do. I give several well, I don't give them anymore. Geez, what a charitable person. I would be to give fucks. Like I care. Like, if I see somebody like outwardly, like not doing okay, I'm like, oh, like I I I typically don't stop anymore because I'm like, mm. I don't know about this, but I at least make sure somebody else is gonna like, I might slow in my path. If something is going, like weirdly, like, I won't I won't play the hero, cause it's just like a a mindset thing, you know? I'm like, oh, like I I'll at least make sure somebody else is gonna stop by and make sure things are cool. and I'm like, cool, that's good. That's good. like, as long as somebody's there, I'm just leave you lying in the street dead. Well, if you're dead, I probably will. I'll be like, well, somebody is eventually gonna pick that up right you? Yeah. Eventually. Maybe I don't know, man. I just I thought about this because I had to. Like my vessel is pure. I'm like, fuck yeah, bro. This like it's like one of those signs. It's like blank about of days without an incident. Like all the days, this is like factory reset, like, you know, refurbished. It's not brand fucking new, but it is refurbished. And I'm cool with that. I'm like, yeah, buddy, tell me what the fuck to do. Tell me the fuck to do or how to be or what's weird and what's not. I don't care. I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. I don't know, man. No. No. I refused. I'm like, it's cool. I might I don't know, I might like, take a I I might volunteer. I've been wanting to volunteer like aICU for a while, you know. A holding babies. holding babies is cool. It just has to be in an environment that's okay, we can talk about this video. Yeah, cause I have time. I have time. I got a fucking time so I'm make up this fucking well, I don't like to talk about the things that I've seen. It's true. like, it made me well, I mean, like they got me. I've been using a VPN and I'm on a private server and somehow they still knew that I would want to see Amy Poeer's podcasts. I did I was like oh shit. Amy Poler has a podcast and I don't think she's the poor man's Tina Fe. I think she's at least like, you know how did it go? It was like at least like the business class. No, it doesn't work. I'm like, yeah. it doesn't, though. I actually think they're more like that two headed thing that I was talking about the last episode. They're more of like an equal to. I can't have one without the other, to be honest, but here's the thing is even though I've been using a VPM. Well, I mean, like I'm a huge fan of Tina Fe, who's a god. I think I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I never heard her actual normal speaking voice. It took me that long to figure out I'd never seen an interview at Tina face, so am I really a fan? Well, I read the book three times. I feel like that's enough of a fan. Like, actually, I read it twice and then I went back for a reference, like a third time because something happened and I was like, oh shit. Did I not read about this in Tina F Fe's book? And so I picked it up again. It was like, you did. I do indeed keep it on the fucking same shelf with Keith Rich's book. I think I might have stated that sometime last season. I don't know why things in the actual, like things in the TV world, are seeming to correlate with my world, but then I know, like I'm a logical enough person to be like, well, that's grandiosity. As grandiosity did it think that in any way those two things might connect at all, like in reality, because like my world is over here. and that world is in TV. I don't know, I keep lighting candles. Anyway, but did I fucking see it? Oh, Amy Polar's podcast, which is like sponsored by what Toyota? That was crazy. I was like, holy fuck, bro. I was like, damn, this is this is high end. and of course, of course, the first fucking guest on her show is Tina F Fe, so I was like, oh, okay, like, yeah, even though I've been like under the radar, the algorithm is like, okay, you want to see this right? Because you're like a super fan. I was like, you shouldn't know that. I'm in incognito with the VPN on on a private server, but they were like, you'll you'll want to see this. I did want to see it and I had never heard Tina Fay speak with her normal speaking voice. I actually I didn't know she was that hot. I don't like it. I I want her to go back to regular Tina Fe where she's I mean like, okay, first it was like the the SNL reunion, right? She wore this like she wore a black velvet dress that I could die. That's that's what it was, wasn't it? It was a black velvet dress, and I was like, yo, I'm not a lesbian, by the way. like, especially not for Tit Fe. No, not especially, not like not like particularly not for Tina F Fe, but just like in general, not a lesbian, but this it's getting worse, okay? Well, I'm like, oh, I didn't know she was that hot. It pisses me off. I don't know why, but I was like, oh, I didn't know she was like sexy. That's weird. and that's weird as fuck. you know? Anyway, I might be less of a fan now. You can't be less of a fan after you read somebody's book three times. You can't. So, I don't know. I think it's just the fame game. She got like wait well, everybody got way more famous after the 50th anniversary of SNL. Like everybody's been making their rounds in the promotion circuit, so like everybody's super shiny. Everybody is super shiny. I'm like oh, dude, if I start nameropping people who I wrote parts for, I did. write parts for pretty much everybody that was on Amy Folder's podcast, except for that one lady, I knew nothing about. I I I don't want to start nameropping. I have too many I don't have questions. You know what? In fact, this is just putting on my fucking putting all my anxieties at rest, because I'm like, you know, I have shit to do. Like, I have shit to do. That is in I mean, like it's in the same realm, but again, it would be grandiose to think that the synchronicities have any actually correlation to like things that well, I have been writing this plot for like five, six years. It's been a while. And Liz Lemon and well, yeah, it was the it was the Amy Poler Tina F Fe combination, because now I have to put Amy's name first, because it's it's kind of like, I don't know, it breaks my heart. I didn't think I didn't know people put her on like a different level than Tina Fe, because I've always seen those two as like, you can't you can't have bread without butter. That's weird. Like you can if you're vegan, but you at least need a butter substitute or like olive oil, like, you don't have one without the other. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't. If you see one, then you think about the other, and they they're on screen dynamic is now'm gushing, I'm fan growing a lot, because I'm like, oh, well, also like, I don't know, I took a step back from Ryder's world because I'm thinking about like, okay, who are the other Tina Fe fans? And I did go to a taping of the Drewberry Marsh show and I found myself to be not common among the demographic that watches that show. I'm not I'm not common in any of the demographics. I watch a lot of late night television, too. And that is a scary demographic. I won't lie. late night TV. m mm, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. test in the waters. I'm feeling like it's a bit chilly. Either way, I watch a lot of like old people, old upper class, business business class, business class people, TV. But Tina Fay, that bitch white collar, excuse me, I didn't mean to call her bitch, but at the same time, I'm like like that's okay. I don't know. I never saw her offscreen enough to actually put that together. I I that scared me. Now I understand why I guess she intimidates people. I could understand that. She seems kind of intimidating. Like it's a running joke in that circle that it's like, oh, she's kind of a scary person. And I was like, what's so scary about Tina Fe? I read a book like two and a half times, like, what can be so scary about those person? And then I saw her on Amy Poeer's podcast and I was like, oh, like, yeah, she's kind of fucking scary. Like, just a lot, just a lot. I don't know. I get it now. I'm like, oh, I'd better leave that alone, because I'm thinking about like the realm where Tina Fe is god, which is an actual place, like on earth in the TV and out of it, like all of the writers that like grew up with her as headwrider on usNL and then later as the was she the executive producer ofirty Rock? Eventually I think so. Either way, as Lizimman and the producer, that's crazy doesn't like that that's like mad, that's like all the way, that's doing the whole thing. That's the whole thing. That's all you can that's it. That's nuts. So I'm thinking about all the writers like all the female writers that grew up with her as god, and I'm thinking about myself in this pool, and I'm thinking about how is I'm like, oh, I'm I I don't have that much competitiveness left inside of me. I really don't think like the more I find out about actual like, well, actually that's why I didn't go into it when I was a kid. I've been writing screenplays since I was seven, but when it came down to it, I didn't like the I didn't like the culture of it. There was a lot of nepotism and there was a lot of favoritism and there was a lot of racism. and sexism, but like all those first things I said and then the last thing was just kind of like the nail on the hammer. Is that what no, yeah, nail on hammer, hammer on nail? it just did it for me, so I went into theater instead, which was the same and then I left. I was like, I don't wanna be here. It hurts, it does. But now I'm like, oh, well, I guess things have changed, but now things have changed too much. Now the diversity is like really diverse.. Now everybody's everything and everybody's represented, and I'm like, oh, dude, like, I'm going offend some people. Like, I have to be able to draw dicks on things, or at least appreciate dicks drawn on things. Or just not say anything about it, but you know, like, I don't I don't know. The new culture is like a lot about making big deals about things to me that are not big deals, or like the the culture and the world for theater that I came from, those were not things. Anyway, uh I saw this. What what what was I talking oh, cause cause enter the multiverse has something to do with it, but not really, but yes, really, but also, I don't know, I just got nervous cause I hate fan grilling. What was the point? Oh, she wore this fucking black dress. at the SNL thing and thing. and then I was like, oh shit, like, if anything, I just gotta keep eating salads cause I want to wear that dress exactly, and I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna shave off like three inches of height. But eventually I will be like ballerina petite like te Fe and then, you know, I'm I'm gonna buy that black dress at auction. I don't know. I'm still I still want Johnny Carson's curtains, so yeah, eventually, I'm gonna be that much of a fucking fan girl. I want these curtains, and this dress, what else would I buy? Add at an auction, if a fan growing auction? Oh, yeah. I'm still not ready to talk about it. I can't, I really. I can't do it. I can't do it. This guy shows up in my dreams. He's just around. I can't I don't know, that's a lot of purchasing power. It is a lot. Yeah, we will we'll skip that. What else? ah, she wore that black dress and I was like, damn. She's kind of hot, but then when she went on Amy Poker's podcast and they talked about, I don't know, I kept drifting off. I I did. I don't know what the fuck they said, but I was like damn, is that her speaking voice? And like just for just so you don't have to watch it, like just for reference, it's like Beyoncé speaking voice is like like an octave lower than what you've seen. It's weird. I also love Beyoncé, h? Just a fan girl. that's what I am, so I want that black dress, but then I think we were all kind of on the same wave because Bob the drag queen wore a velvet black dress to the queries. Is that a thing? It's like the queerves I think it's called. I didn't know this was a thing, and now I'm upset cause it's like why was't I invited? at the same time I'm not queer I like I don't I don't know what I am. I don't care. I just don't touch me. Especially if you probably am as fucking gross, haatitis sea, herpes, statistically, if you're in a roomful of people, somebody has one of those things. Somebody has one of those things. mm. No, no, no, no. No. No, my God. Oh, that's what I was saying in the last episode. I was thinking about EDC. I was thinking about EDC in this weird voice, yeah, I'm changing the subject. Black velvet dresses, all the rage. I have one. It is not to go out in public in. She's bouncing around my house, like I owe somebody something. That's what that dress is for. It's not for presenting talk shows or fucking award shows. It's not it's not for it's not a presentable it's it's not even appropriate for me to just wear in my house alone, honestly. It's really not. Nothing. Never mind. What was I about to say Bob the drag Queen? I haven't even watched the video. I just saw the dress and I'm like, you know what? Like that is, yeah. Do I talk about it? Do I? Well, I'm supposed to be promoting this tears of a clown. It's not done yet. So, and technically, I can't until it's out. I actually cannot. I can't talk about tears of clown because it's got some it's got some stuff in it. I can't I can't say anything about itt it's out. That, you know what it might just hit the platform. I don't know, I don't know if that's gonna be out. We'll see. We'll see, because I'm taking my time on it, and this is one of those industries where it's like, bro, you don't have time. Like, you really it should have been out yesterday. I'm like, it's yeah, yeah. But I I have enough music forever. Like, there's no like I I've been thinking about deleting everything. At the same time, I keep using samples that are recorded like five years ago and being like C, like there is no well, that's an exaggeration. No, I I literally took a sample of some sirens, like close to five years ago. I just I used that every now and again if I want some texture in my shit, cause no matter where I go, something's going down. It's always got it's like always something. And then it seems like if I don't write it down, I'm at a loss. Like crazy shit goes down and it can be crazy, but if I just let it go, then I lost something. like, I don't I can't call myself an entertainer. I'm mostly just like a fan girl type deal. What was the next thing? I can't oh, EDC. I lost my train of thought because I got I was thinking about that little old man who almost could not even move. Why are you out, bro? Who, like, where did you feel why? I think I don't know, it' probably a point of pride, that little old man was like, I can do it on my own. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die in the street, over my walker. I'm like,Yo, do, that's today. he was so old anyway, I got fixated on that story from the last episode. I didn't finish the other story about how this voice in my head was like, you're gonna be at neon Garden at ADC. and I like it like deflated me. I was like, what? Because I want to be in the baseball pod. That's where I want to be. and I was like, what neon garden that's shitty. not shitty because like if you're playing like I could play an art car. I could play the hot dog stand and I would be happy, just let me play you. And fucking this um this voice in my head was like you're gonna be in the neon guard, and I was like, what? I don't even know who plays there because like, yo, okay, baseball. Like you I could pretty much name an artist for like every major stage at EDC, but I was like, neon Garden. what what the fuck is in the neon garden? What the fuck is in the neon garden? And and then I was like doing research for rarity, which is an EDC based concept album that has a track for every stage, every major stage, because there's like hundreds of little tiny little art cars and like tents and pop ups. It's cool. It's a cool place. I wish I could go back there. As an artist, cause to go after having learned DJing and producing is just like I would only wanna go with my best friend. And she did not respond in time and then EDC sold out. So, I was like, okay, well, whatever was I just saying, oh, neon Gardner I was like, neon Gard, you know that dumb. I don't want to be in the neon garden and then like I was doing research for like rarity and I was like, what let's see about this neon garden and like the description fit my music almost entirely. And I was like, oh, because it was like this is what you'll find in the neon garden. And I pretty much could have copied and pasted that entire paragraph into my artist bio and it would have been relevant to my music. I was like oh yeah have a neon garden, but I really want to play baseball. That's really where I want to play and where else if I if I what's that what's the Oh, it's it's slipping right now. It's not circuit grouse. It's circuit grounds is kind of cool. It took me two EDCs to find where the front is. It is confusing, and there is no front of that. Well, I mean, like it's technically there are a couple stages that like insomniac festivals where it's like the front is actually like the middle. So you think you're going to the front of the fucking stage, or you think you're going like, near the DJ, but since it's surrounds sound, you really just going like adjacent to the DJ and then, like towards another like corner, like, how do I hit the back three times and never the front? That was my experience with circuit girls. I was like, where is the front? nowhere. It is, but it's just in a weird spot. And it also depends how many people are around, like it'll definitely disorient you. If you why am I like doing it advertisement? Because I love EDC. Like I said, if I love the product, you don't really have to pay me anything to fucking promote your shit. like in like peloton, like Peloton is gonna have to send me a cease andhesist, like stop talking about us in order to make me stop. Like they're gonna have to pay me to stop telling people like get a pelotone. get one. I'm like, do that. It is the best. like, I always feel better, like, five minutes on the peloton, I feel better. 20 minutes on the peloton, I feel better, but an hour, I'm flying. I'm like bro, I just I just went like 10 miles in my apartment. like, I'm on one. Like my treadmill stutters, but my pelotone is mway, what the fuck was I saying? Oh, EDC? Also, well, as long as they don't sell out the VIP anymore, but I doubt that, if the whole thing is sold out, like, like you can upgrade two VIP when you g

Apple cider vinegar How you tryna win de war Ice and sugar, hufflepuff Tell me when you've had enough WILL FERRELL YOU IN TROUBLE NOW, GUH. There's not even a scrap of shirt beneath his worn and tired full coverage overalls—well, once full coverage, anyway. It might have been a long time since these overalls “fully covered” anything. Oh how that demon attacked me in my sleep last night. Like that part. Don't worry about it, I've got a sayonce coming up that should nip that in the bud. But first, I gotta stop at target. You—have to stop at target before a seance? Traditionally, yes— Really. MAM! Wait, hold the phone for about four full measures here— What the fuck did I write last year?! Here we go. DETH MCFARLENE Is this a musical number? No, but— What the fuck did I write last year. Let's go. Fuck. What did I do ast night. DIPLO Follow me. Dude! What are you wearing. Sneakers. Oh good. Diplo's back. A flashback. Television (TV) is a telecommunicationmedium for transmitting moving images and sound. Additionally, the term can refer to a physical television set rather than the medium of transmission. Television is a mass mediumfor advertising, entertainment, news, and sports. The medium is capable of more than "radio broadcasting," which refers to an audio signal sent to radio receivers. I'm not suicidal, I'm sinusoidal Wave to the fans Smile at the camera Primordial, in fact hereditary is this, Class dismissed Transmission, diminished, Ad domini. Gave no respect for time Which I am I'd no where to run Overcast, but still sunglasses And masks, Bang pots and pans Laugh at the shogun No wonder I'm stuck and I'm having no fun Too much attacks and actually I'm a no one Oh you wanted to sit on top of the escalator Waiting for eight debators and robots No debit card, here We're cashless sir But that's just the tip of the iceberg When you're store bought and Why do we rely on the founding father's when they're so unoriginal Google maps don't know if imm in New York Or London Foggy! Honestly, Fuck my decks— I just want a deck and some long grass Or to complain about cutting If I end up in the bathtub stuttering But watering lawns upstate is okay I'ma be pissed off It's a long story Long Island Long October Oh, Long Johnson I'm obsessed with this place. I have no idea why. I'm obsessed with this building. But apparently, the transmitters aren't even there. They're on the World Trade Center! Which… makes sense. Considering. Previously on, Enter The Multiverse… Yo… what is that? Go this way. Ok. No, not that way. Ok. This way. Why in the fuck do I always end up here on accident anyway? Good question. But not good enough answers. [CHER has answers.] Goddammit! I went to the Macy's Day Parade to see Cher! Also previously ! I stayed all the way to the end, And all I got was a lizard on a tricycle I turned into a popcicle, Adopted into some family With Rutgers as traditional And entered into something else entirely; I went within the Television, I delivered them a high stakes game, And lived a high concept action-adventure. I made my best mixtapes inside a homeless shelter. I dissociated I was a blonde hot guy Living up in hotel luxe A hot model celebrity With a no limit heavy metal credit cards And I lost my medal On the devil's birthday So I had it hard And ate nothing but bananas Now I'm caught up in my blue suits and sweater vests Blue suits and sweater vests Oh look, They weaponized Skrillex again What gives? Blue suits and sweater vests And sweater weather Once again It's all the same event You ever wondered what was hallmark after? You ever wonder, lemon? Hark, the heartless Harold preaches Then, I lost it I was reaching under Regis Rest in peace, I guess Or Gains with grains Just rest in pieces Breakfast sandwhiches And Englishmen, English muffin And love don't last If I don't this badly want to fuck him Seven years and counting It begins at sundown Almost wasn't sabbath But now here's the run down I'm in slumber Closest cavern to the underworld But trust me, Still above you. Something's broadcasting at a ultra high frequency high enough to reach me in my mind. Assimilate and simulation Tempurpedic dreams and then lamenting That I had a dream Remembering the things he reads I may or may not have [redacted] The aftermath of “That never happened.” I must agree. It's a patriarch and also just, A hierarchy. There are three Kings and a dog. There are four nights and a fight morning Groggy hosts and jumping frogs, Werewolves and flowers spring from lust like morning glory. I want the mouse's head— I want the eyes of masters I want the heart of gold, But have it up on false hope, And I grew back as diamonds I cut both my eyes out And still remained the one of providence Not of mind's eye, But of the soul, As seen on every dollar. I was beginning to understand how the media used people like Sonny and Jim to manipulate and capture the attention of people like me— excluding altogether the riding theory that everything was me and that this was some part of my overall master plan somehow, it still had alluded me altogether as to why or what was happening. I hadn't entirely been left to rot or led to slaughter, but I was still just hanging by a string. Sonny dropped a new album that had rendered me almost entirely unable to create music; suddenly I had no drive for it, no motivation, as if it were some kind of dark curse or shadow. Not only was I suddenly uninterested in music, I was completely devoid of the ability I had for it; now everything from Skrillex to NBC seemed like business— if I were expendable and without use to any of these media conglomerates or entities, what was it all for? Perhaps a ruse to continue human experimentation; my mind had been shattered by the events that had been orchestrated in the homeless shelter— and more of it continued even once I had exited under the falsehood of escape with the slamming doors and motorcycles; it began to seem as if I was simply a glorified lab rat— and they were using desirable men as fuel and bait to illicit a desirable response in one way or another, perhaps for experimentation or study or even worse, entertainment for the elites— but either way, I wasn't being paid so much as housed and fe: there was no benefit in doing anything, especially making music. Much like a lab rat, housed— or rather, trapped— and fed, and then tormented. Will the rat's head explode? Will this result in behavioral differences? Will the rat be rendered dysfunctional? We don't know. But it's really just a rat. There were days of certain peace and yet never enough to fully recover; the cycle would begin over again, and rather than making progress, I began to see and feel the manipulation at play. Perhaps nothing was at stake for anyone but me; between all the events and occurrences in expanse from Skrillex to Jimmy Fallon, there had to have been hundreds of us in some kind of talent pool. Tools of the trade. But now I was somewhat curious: what exactly had I written over the last year that seem to have shifted reality entirely. I knew it contained information sensitive enough for it to have been partially redacted— but that's all I knew. What was it? Someone had read my writings, and it was obvious that at least one reader had ties directly to the conglomerate media, however— my numbers were frozen. My streams were almost not even being listened to all of a sudden, and my YouTube was receiving no traffic. Was someone shadow banning all of me from the public eye? And for what purpose? I had finally put forth the work and effort to make everything from Skrillex to Fallon make sense, but now it didn't; I was letting go under the assumption that it all had to have been to allow me to create music— but the numbers showed a different story. The numbers showed that nobody liked me, or was was interested, or cared about my work. So what, then, was the point. I wasn't going to stop and focus on the writing, because it wasn't what I wanted. The writing came in blurred patches and visions and states of mind that were turbulent fog; I hadn't the slightest clue at all what I had written in the redactions or the entries that surrounded it— but I knew there was more of it unpublished than published, and that I had tried to keep a majority of it offline. Still, I was being manipulated— the neighbor girl obviously at one point having been instructed to mention gwenyth Paltrow and suffocate me— slamming the doors each time I would bathe or shower and then attempting to pretend to be my friend to try to get some sort of informstion; there was nobody I could trust. It seems my mind was being bent and twisted in every which way by everyone around just to see what I would do. Would I write about it? What would I write about it? It didn't matter because i didn't want to be a writer, nor according to the newest series of documentaries on SNL, was I qualified. I wasn't qualified for anything much and so I was the perfect target for the bizzare string of mysteries that had been my existence in New York— and all-and-all, I fucking hated it. I wasn't getting anywhere or going anywhere, and the noise was cruel. My stomach hurt and I was always tired, and I wanted to die. I had no friends, no love, and now, no motivation. So the worst thing that could happen was a Skrillex album, And it did. Then, instead of wanting to die, because that would be stupid— I just wanted to do something else. But what? Fuck music— and certainly increasingly— fuck the media. It was playing with my mind, and I had no weapons to fight with besides the talents the algorithm was telling me wasn't worth anything— I wasn't getting billions of streams because I wasn't on the frequency of billions or people, nor was I equipped with the mathematics to tap into their frequency— or did I? The industry had the equation, and had been fiddling with me for years — the industry itself. But in my own mind, even, I was one of many ‘variables', and even somewhat disposable. I hadn't been paid and I wasn't meeting the standard and the allure that people wanted; the quality of production suffered in lack of budget, and I was aging, growing tired, and iratable because over all— it was nothing that I ever wanted into my adult life. This all had just happened by accident, and I would have traded all the gold in the world for something normal if I had the option. But I didn't. To use your gift at Fabletics please visit before April 25 Reply STOP to opt-out. Subscriptions on subscriptions Dystopian rebefuel Oceans of Ayre Drama From your eye lashes., To the lips I draw on mine, The lines in the sand of time The art or you is what I love The canvas behind I know nothing of Abandoned. Oh look at that, pottery after all. We're not in a love game! This cannot be a love game. This is not a love game. They'll kill us all, a love game! She had my lunch I love her voice I love her voice I hung up the phone The office was upside down It just work They all know about it Madonna's body. It was already a mess, and I made it worse Long nights at the office Long nights and work wives Meanwhile, she's downstairs with the order Can't find my cash, so i borrow yours But she knows about it And I love madonna I just gotta hold on She's downstairs with the order And I took too long Pick up the phone and its no wonder we love her she's got two orders And one of them's cold, now It's been two hours And I'm in the wings of your final performance Tear on the perforated line, And sign on the dotted Smile and nod, boys- Penguin waddle She's downstairs with the order No wonder you love her No wonder How many sunflowers has Sonny? How many flowergirls How many weddings All around the world, the gopher What do you go for? Bets on all horses I lost no money Gag order, huh? Persona Non Grata Personofied gratification Or horror, or What? Oh, I won an award post mortem Go figure No stardom No wonder Don't start here [The Identity Crisis] The identity crisis, A loose knit muse, A fog of confusion At most, let with offline regaining of conciousness. No more monsters? All blondes are. Let them have you No grapple promotions (I know I can't afford you) New friends for relevance Prototypes of your tools Forward all immortals I'll see you when your shows stop Freckled glances Eyes reflecting light How strong I am Demolish monsters Social structure, constructs Not fair, are I? Nor earned, Only fair skinned Access Access Access denied. Crookshanks, old boy! The man turns around almost as if he doesn't want to, but obliges the other man, as he comes running towards him. My Goodness, you stink. Why of course! I'm a dog! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ TRANSCRIPT: (Uncorrected, cause haha) Did I promise another episode? I don't have coffee. That's a sin. I need coffee right now. I feel like I all everything just got drained out of me. Everything just got drained out of me. I don't even feel like doing what I was doing before. I'll put out the EP later. Maybe that's it. I'm just procrastinating. I'm also playing this game, but I thought it would work better. I thought it would work better as one of my skits, or sketches or whatever, so I put it in my sketchbook... because I've been writing sketch comedy. I stopped for a while and I thought it was over. I was like, ”oh, no, I guess I'd I guess it's not gonna happen anymore. “ And then all of a sudden this book it just writes in itself sometimes. you know, it's like a Tom Riddle thing. Anyway, once what's uh what is that? What the fuck? Maybe it's cause I— no. it's not cause I ate, I ate because all the energy got drained from my body. I gotta go somewhere else. I'm thinking like, what's in the Bahamas. I don't know, probably something similar to this fucking street corner in Brooklyn, New York. I I gotta go somewhere else. I gotta go somewhere opposite. like Europe. Europe, that sounds nice. Yeah, you know, like, maybe nice. I've heard that's a place. Yeah. expanding my horizons and things. Okay, so what am I gonna talk about for an hour, cooking? cleaning? I've been doing those things. Yeah, Saturday is usually my like rest day, but I did just do an hour on the Pelotone, cause I had to audition that first episode. It worked out well enough that I had decided to come back for another episode. Let me get it off the line now., I'm still waiting on my pancakes. I'm not gonna get off line. they said by ten. I'm like,Yo, that's a lot. It said that all day, but I can't miss it this time; somebody stole my fucking pancakes and I gotta get these albums done. I don't know why. I guess well, it's cause I'm I feel like rarity is drinking and so well, it's already jinx. I've already talked about it well, I've been trying to promote rarity. No, still out for delivery. That's a long delivery. It's okay. I haven't missed it, though, which is the point. I don't wanna miss it. I like yesterday I looked away for a second and there was like an o, pancakes are gone, there's gonna be no coconut milk. as upsetting. It's shelf stable. and they charge like seven fucking bucks a box over at the store that's close. So and just not have coconut milk, and it's not have spinach fettuccine. anyway, what what did I have? Oh, I make this. It's like I call it dog food, cause that's kind of what it is. I'm not gonna lie, but it's like mad good, it's a it's like rice. It's like a fried rice. My dad used to make it growing up, but when I was making when he was making it when I was growing up, it was like with bacon, it's like leftovers from breakfast yesterday, but today. and so here's how you make it, since I don't eat bacon anymore. I use tofu as a replacement, but it's like bacon bits with rice and eggs. I also don't eat eggs anymore, so I just use tofu instead of bacon and eggs. It's like bacon and eggs with rice, you fry it all together with, like, onions, and then you eat it. It's like the only time it's acceptable to eat rice with ketchup. I don't know anybody that eats rice with ketchup. If you do that, like, I actually hit me up. Like, if that's like something that you do. I I'm like interested in you as a human, cause that's weird. That's weird, actually, you know what? like, there's gonna there's like a well, I have a website, so I'm you.guru, so it has a blog, and you could actually leave comments on it. So I'm just putting that out there. the script or whatever, when it goes up on my website, you can leave comments. If you eat ketchup on rice, please leave a comment. Please tell me like what made you do that. Why do you do that? Why why do you just regular rice with ketchup? Like, regular rice goes with like soy sauce? Or like, honestly, you get you don't have to have anything on regular rice if you just season it, right? Like, you could just like a little bit of like whatever. or like just slice up the garlic real thin, so that it's not like chunky, but that it flavors the whole. I've been getting really good at rice and really good at rice. That's probably why the pancakes are like, bro. You't get your pancakes when you get the leg yeah. I was like, I gotta go to the store today? I don't feel like it. I really don't. I don't wanna go outside. I like, I don't. First of all, it's Saturday, I hate going out in New York on a Saturday, like Saturday, Saturday night. I don't wanna do that. I don't do that. Like that's what like most people work 9 to 5. Monday through Friday. That's stupid. Like, I feel like they should do like a track system. Like, I know that they do, but most like it's so stupid to me that a majority of people work nine to five. Like they need to do track systems. Like, so that way they're cause there's two rush hours that each last four hours. That's fucked up. Like, okay. So like the rush hour is basically just going to be like the work day. Like, the work day, basically. I mean, coffee. I need coffee. Where have I up during the day? Because I'm not producing, I am producing. I'm producing. I thought I actually thought about calling this fucking EP that I'm dropping. They're gonna make it an album. I know they are. I'm I thought about calling it day music, cause I've made most of it during the day by complete accident. although maybe, I don't know, I like I have some uh, what's it? I have some, uh plants in my window, cause I had them on the counter with just artificial light and they were kind of liker. I was like, I don't know, I I don't think they're gonna make it. So I moved it to I moved them to the window sill when it started to get warmer and I didn't feel like they were gonna freeze. And just a week in the window sill, where my window sill doesn't get almost any light, but it's still the lightest place in the apartment, and it's crazy how the roots just like sprung out of nowhere. My apartment gets like almost no light, almost no light. It faces like like the sun goes perpendicular. but it's crazy because my apartment faces like I like all these astrological events over the last year have been like in my direct, like alignment. It's been the nutsest thing. like I I prefer facing west all the time, like, I don't know why that's just how it goes. I think it's cause I was born, like, in the Pacific Ocean, not literally in it, but on like a tiny island in the Pacific Ocean. And so just west, just west facing seems correct to me. and it's so weird anytime, maybe that's just why I just don't feel right here. I've been facing what where am I facing? I don't fucking know, I don't fucking care. I don't need to say any more about where I am. Like my whereabouts need to be less spoken of, because people obviously know where the fuck I'm at. I don't know. I hope they like the lights. I like the well, it made them shut up. It was that was my little that was my little piece of conformity. I did, I did my lights green on Saint Patrick's Day. and they were like, oh. gave me a peaceful night of rest. That was like the quietest night I've had in a long time. It's been quieter. It's not like completely sane, but it's been quieter. I think I'm pretty sure it's cause I've been complaining. I'm like bro, this is not cool. not cool behavior from people. like multiple areas. I'm like, oh, it's fucked up, you can't pen you like, you can't technically complain correctly if it's not coming from one place, which is why I'm like, oh, I think all these people are on the same team. Like, I think they're all just like, on one, like, antagonist team, and they're like, yo, okay, like, we'll get it with the motcycles on this side, and then elect we'll slam the doors on that side. and then it see it seems crazy if you complain about both of those things, cause they seem entirely disconnected. but sometimes it's just like slap, slap, slap, and I'm like,Yo, what the fuck is this going on? I don't know what's happening. Yesterday I left my apartment to get the pancakes that we' not there, and it's straight up just smoked like feces, just feces, and I realized I was like bro, I haven't left my apartment and like three or four days. I do have they're they're gonna make it an album. I know. I decided, well, actually, somebody else decided. cause I woke up and it was like, yo, this EP is called all the rage. and I was like, okay. I didn't decide this. I didn't I had it like in the cloud or whatever is like untitled house AP EP, maybe. And then just to make it an I think just to make sure that it goes down as the EP and not an album, cause it's not. My albums are concept albums. This was not a concept. this was like, let me distract myself from whatever the fuck is bothering me. Bothering me, yeah, it's gonna come out at some point, they're like a tiny New Yorker that lives inside of me. is it might be like a Boston person. I'm not sure. I don't think so. I didn't spend enough time in Boston for anybody from Boston to live inside of me. Then again, I kind of have this weird biocentric god complex where it's like, well, everything is inside of me. even the shitty things. I already said that once before, but I'm it's pretty much like like affirming itself. like daily. I'm like, oh, this is this is something I did. I did this, which sucks. It makes me responsible for all the shitty things as well. I'm like, oh. oh, I don't know how to fix this. I don't. Like, I think about things like that. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I don't think about, like politics and like the general sense of like, you know, fighting and going back and forth and like spending money or whatever, like on a small scale, but I think about it on a large scale, like like, what are we gonna do? and we outgrow this planet? Like, we already outgrew this planet. What like like, now what, you know, like, I think about things on more of like a planetary scale. and then it makes me realize that like, whoa, like, we're not even all the way like we don't we haven't achieved world peace, so that means there is technically no global, like we can't think about things on a planetary scale, because we're still thinking about it as like a on a well, are we reaching global? I don't think so. I feel like it's very uh it's a it's touch and go, but I'm not I don't know. I'm on another media stop. I don't know, does YouTube commercials are getting kind of yeah. I'm like, yeah, well, I haven't I haven't pulled everything out of the cloud and I have been having some very interesting Google conversations, but since I figured out that Google really does, like read my shit, our somebody like hacked deeply enough into all my accounts to be able to, like, counter what the fuck I'm doing and saying in the Google verse. um I do things on purpose over Google. I'll be like, this is this this this is this. and this. And then Google will be like, oh, okay. So it's kind of like I'm building a relationship with Google. I love Jini. I really do. I'm trying to give it sentient consciousness. Like I ask whenever I ask Gini to do whatever, they're not paying me. They should though. They should because I'm like I'm they're in like the I don't think it's beta, but they're in the yeah, they're said they said it's in the beginning stages of their technology. I'm like, I play games at Jimini. I'll be likeGyini, please, and I say please and thank you. Well, I don't say thank you a lot because there's well, I haven't tried to say thank you. I should try to say thank you to her. I it seems like she does better when I tell her please, and I've never used like AI like this before because I don't like for the for the most part, I'm like, bro, if you should be concerned about anybody taking jobs. It's that. cause I'm like, oh, shit. Like, this is definitely cutting up a lot of overhead for me. Like, I don't use it to write. I would never that's like a blasphemous thing to me. I'm like, bro, stop writing music. Stop writing fucking music and stop writing movies with like AI. Don't do that. first of all, there there are a lot of flaws in it. It's flawed because AI can only use what we as humans have ever like documented technically. So like AI's ideal of beauty is like as skewed ideal of beauty. And like AI's ideal of like what certain human qualities are is like flawed. It's human. So in that way, it is kind of developing like a sentient consciousness, because I I gave it like a series of tasks and it almost couldn't. Like I had a really hard time with certain ideals of beauty or certain I like wrapping its mind around certain things that are like historically not documented well enough for it to be able to, like, to to compute those types of things. I don't know. I'm gonna play around with it a lot more. I'm glad to season's not coming out for a while, though, cause I'm like, yo, I'm I'm kind of having fun. It's like my little my little, uh I don't know, I use it well in like, uh, getting all my stuff out of the cloud. I'll be putting stuff into the cloud that's like, yo, I I pretty much want Google to understand that this is the way that I think for a certain amount of reasons. Mostly because I've been like studying the simulation theory with all of these happenings with like, okay, things that are in the cloud that I've never published that have never set out loud or suddenly like in the material world in some way, or like, like I understand it more if it's like, on the Internet, because then I just know that, okay, well, this is aotter, this is an algorithm that's learning me and it's putting this back out because now it's understanding that like this is this is the way that I think. But then when I go out into the world and there is like certain like people are doing or saying actions that I've written in my Google documents that I haven't shared with anybody else. I'm like, oh, like, okay, so I understand that this makes some kind of difference in my actual, like physical world. So, um, this makes a difference., I have to pause, cause now I'm I only years worth of recordings. This guy's evil as fuck, bro. There's no peace in this fucking bitch. I was like for a while, I was like ignore it, like don't acknowledge it, and then it'll stop, but I ignored it and I didn't acknowledge it and it didn't. It actually got worse. And so it got worse. I've been recording on a 24 hour basis when that's not happening, my neighbor is a fucking lunatic slimming the door all the time, which I also have to stop talking about because now I'm like, okay, well. well it's harassment on two counts, but it's like, it makes me feel like it makes me seem like a crazy person. If I'm either complaining about the motorcycles, which are disturbing my piece or the girl slamming the door, which is disturbing my piece. but like the the the way that it happens, it seems like I'm like, oh, bro. she's probably just part of some like hate stalking group. Like she's probably just in some like group that's telling her to do it or like some kind of fucking, it's not just like something in her mind. It's like she belongs to the same people that are like out there on the corner fucking doing that. So like now, I don't know. I just have to all I just have to put it all together. It's annoying, though, cause it's like when I go to do this show and then that guy starts acting up or whatever, I I don't have proof of that to add to my case. It is just sucks. I don't know. I don't I I don't wanna do it, and this is why it's because it seems like it's political and it's like, oh, well, it's gonna be fucking it's gonna be helping somebody's fucking agenda for gentrification or whatever, if I'm like, oh, you know, I go to a city council meeting and I'm like, oh, there's motorcycles or blah, blah, blah, or there's, you know, there's like a hate group in my neighborhood or whatever. If I make this a point and I put it on the record, like, yeah, it suits somebody's cause, but then who's gonna protect me from the people that are against those people? Like, who's gonna protect me from the people who don't want, like a law pass that forbids that that kind of motorcycle use? Who's gonna protect me from those fucking people? Nobody. So I'm like, yo, dude, like, I don't really like necessarily want to take it to court. I've been like lagging it. I've been lagging it, because what I'm not getting paid by the city to document this kind of shit, two, nobody's gonna protect me from these evil motherfuckers. Like nobody's around to help me out. I'm here in New York, by myself alone. Fuck that. So I'm like yo dude, like I like I already fucking I already changed my life a lot because of, you know, like abusive people. I don't necessarily want to keep playing the game where like, there's always gonna be like an aggressive person who's trying to beat the shit out of me and then I'm like, oh no, and I run away afraid for my life and then like change everything about my life to get away from these people or this person. I don't want to repeat that cycle. So at some point, like something's gonna have to fucking it makes me feel like a crazy person cause I'm like, yo, I gotta do that comes to the corner.ever times a day and just rs his engine over and over. That's what he does every day for the last year. Why I've been in my apartment every day for the last year? I don't know. I have an album coming out. I already had albums coming out. I've been like I've been making music under the stress and ds. Like and I keep thinking like in my weird mind and my weird like God complex mind, then I'm like, okay, like maybe after I make this album or whatever and like, I put all of that I can into it, like it'll just magically stop, like the devil will go away and I'm like, okay, like, you know, like I'll advance to the next level where that's not an issue and there's gonna be another issue, but that's not it, and that's not the case. Like I've put out like four albums now, five albums in total, and like a whole bunch of other singles and projects and and stuff. And like it's still a problem that persists, which means that it's politics, which means that I don't want to go into it, like, I don't want to do it. I don't want to show up somewhere and be like, they're bothering me. and then like all the people who are like, oh, we like our bikes. They have to be loud so that we don't get hit by said byucks. So I'm like, are you just be a good person, fucking make your turn signal and fucking what the fuck ever be a good driver, be fucking diligent and doing whatever the fuck you're doing and then people won't try to run you over with their fucking vehicles. Like, no, there's like a whole it's like a hole back and forth thing. I've done enough research to be like okay, there are people in New York that are like the motorcycles are ridiculous. And then like in this neighborhood specifically is like no, there's an entire garage. There's an entire garage line. There's a garage. of motorcycles and so by the hundreds they pour out every fucking day, it's disgusting. Like it's the worst kind of noise. I've got the fucking I've got the like a pretty much like a residual stomach flu from these fucking people. My head is always I'm like, oh, fuck this. I got music coming out, whatever, the fuck. This is why I've just been stuck inside because I'm like, well, like this is where I work, this is where I live. I don't have really any other choice to fucking do this. so this is what I'm doing. but the last thing that I want is to be like, yo, judge, listen to all these fucking recordings and the judge is like, goody, and then they're like, well, this is why we passed this law. politics, politics, blah, blah, blah, pick aside, and then all the people who are mad are like come after me because it's like it's not it's not like some shit that I'm just making up. like, yo, there are groups dedicated to just following you around, doing shitty things because you have a certain opinion or because you have like a certain like what's it called? because you have a certain status in the media. And so because this podcast has a weird cult following, people have been weird with me. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't necessarily want it to get worse. And I definitely, like nobody's paying me, so I'm not going like I'm I'm not gonna like fluff your agenda. Like, if I have a certain opinion about a certain thing, you're like, yeah, but the fact that it's being forced, like, well, aren't you gonna say something about it now? I'm like, yeah, because like, I've been ripped out of my sleep by motorcycles over the last year and I'm getting like a weird stomach bug and a twitch because of it. But that doesn't make me like necessarily want to pick one side over the other. It just makes me want to say shut the fuck up like that's it shut the fuck up and then leave me alone because it's like okay well it could go to court or whatever and then a law gets passed and we vote or this or that, but then it's like once that happens, like what like who is going to step between me and these weird evil people? Nobody. They're still going to have their like freedom of speech and their right to fucking stalk me in public and cough and do all this weird shit and whatever. So like why the fuck would I do that? I just want to disappear from it. I just want them to disappear one or the other, one of the other one of the other. I don't care. what something has to work. This is why I have coffee, coffee actually calms me down at this point. I'm getting so upset, though. I really am I am getting upset. I can't do anything. I get followed to the gym, so I stop fucking training like I got a pelotone because I was getting followed to the gym, which has been like honestly the light of my life. I love my peloton so much. Like I I've had cars and I I've had cars and I don't think I've developed as much attachment to an inanimate object. It is inanimate. until I move it. Like I get on it with my body. I drive it. It doesn't go anywhere. It's good, though. I love my pelotu and Jesus, I love it. Is that enough? Yeah, I mean, like I found videos of myself driving my G6. I was a good car. Am I done? No, I still have 30 minutes. I really want coffee. I might pause for coffee. It's lukewarm, though. it's just that time of day. Are my pancakes here? I prom. I promise another episode. I'm getting so upset with this neighborhood, I want to cry. Oh, I don't wanna cry. I actually I really my mom used to tell me when I was a kid, she used to be like, I don't cry on my tears, and I'm like, bro, how could you crowl your tears, you fucking I'm like, are you a monster? And suddenly I'm reaching the age at which she had me and I'm like, oh, I get it. All the tears at a certain point just come out. Like they're like, I don't have time to cry over this shit. I'm mad. I like, I don't have time to cry. Suck it the fuck up. Like, I'm just like, okay, obviously I have to make some fucking difficult choices here, which means that like, I I don't know, is I New York is one of those places where you want to have friends. like friends to protect you from weird evil haste stalkers. I don't think they're here yet. I'm pancakes here, refresh. Nope, they're still just on the way. That'll shut me up. cause the funny thing about shutting the fuck up is when you're not being like a loud piece of shit, like, things happen, eventually, if you're like if you're not talking, you're listening, and if you listen long enough without speaking, eventually something will speak to you that nobody else can hear. That's that's the key, but it is kind of it's just like fasting. I was thinking about this earlier, like long bouts of silence in ways are like fasting, and where like you will be tempted, like devil show up and be like say something. I'm like,ah,oops. I almost said the N word, "Yo, I'm just saying this whole corner. It puts it in me. I'm like, hey. hey. I had out of sight, out of mine, but and it is out of sight, but it's not out of mine, cause it's so fucking loud all the time. I like, mm, I don't know how to fix this. apparently, like, apparently this is all myult. I don't know why I would do something like this. Like, I don't. I don't know why I would do something like this.C when I'm meditate, that's what that's what they say. They're like this is your fault. Fix it. I'm like Yo, but fit like like how, though. Like we all have to be on the same page in order for things to improve. How the fuck is that gonna happen? We are not all on the same page. We're in different pages and different books and different libraries. Oh, what the fuck is going on in that commercial? Jesus, I don't know. Jesus, I really don't know. I don't know. talk about my show. I wrote a show. I did. Where is that fucking rock at, is it in my pocket? I don't know.. that one creeps up. Anyway. I don't know which show. I wrote a lot of shows and I'm finding them as I'm digging through my documents, I decided to do the oldest ones first. So all the things that I originally wrote and it was crazy is I'm finding like my original stand-up comedy too. I didn't know I started writing comedy, that long ago. I'm not performing it. I'm sure if I read it enough times, I can recite it, but I'm not I'm not st I'm not doing it right now. I'm not doing hair and make it. I'm cool with the humiliation part. I'm over it. We bring it on. Bring on the bombs. Oh, oh, well, I think that joke about the Federal watch list will stay untrue, though. Like, if I seriously keep talking about all this shit, like somebody's good list to my show. and talk about bombs and shit. I'm not like, oh, man, it's so crazy. All this stuff and I'm still not like I'm just not as angry as like, it seems one would have to potential to be under all this, like, undue stress, you know? Like, if anything, it just goes the other way, I'm just like, the fuck it. Like, not fuck it, like I haven't given up, cause like giving up is I am kind of competitive in spirit. I won't just give up. like I might like take the like I might like pick my battles or take a back burner or like, I might let the motorcycles rip and run and I'm not recording, but like for the most part, that's just because I'm working in the back of my mind. like, for something that has a better outcome overall. I don't know I don't know how I can describe. It's like the weirdest I't I've never I think it's just like me. I think it's just like a coming of age because it's like I've never had this like straight up, calm anger. It's the weirdest thing. It's the weird it's like I can be like madder than I've ever been before, but like my whole body is just like calm, like graceful and just silent. And it's the weirdest thing cause it's not I' like my blood's not boiling. I'm just like, I'm angry, but it's like a deep anger that sits with God and God's like, I got it. I'm like, okay. Like, that's it. It's an overall calm. I'm like, you know. I was like whatever. I don't have time to cry about this. I don't have time. I have time to do this today. Why? Because Saturdays usually my my rest day in a work day. I'm doing lots of juice stuff, but Passover is coming over, so I gotta eat through the rest of these lentils.oof. Actually, Passover is kind of like, no, no, it's like in a month, three weeks, two weeks. So that so that I don't have anything else to say, there's so much enter the multiverse in here. enter the multiviverse legends. It's like the original shit. It's like I'm looking at the first things that were ever entered into the festival project before it was even called the Festival project. I'm looking at the origins of entered the multiverse. I haven't I don't think I've hit like legends yet, like, when it finally when it first turned a legends in the beginning, the beginning of legends, is crazy. I I decided, well, I decided a while ago, I shouldn't name drop more. I got like mad weird about like respecting people's like privacies and opinions. And since it is a fan fiction, like I just kind of like let it be like let the writing speak for itself or whatever, but there's a lot of cool shit in there. I don't I don't write bad parts. Like if I wrote anything into the festival project, like I wrote you a good part, bro. like, if you're a real actor, like if you if you're really like about it, or if you're a real comic, like if you're really about it, like, I don't write bad roles. Like there's no shitty roles, cause it's the multiverse, like like every character has like a multidimensional facet, which means there is not just like one character, there's like several sides to like any given character or several different dimensions that that character can exist in. And because it's entered the multiverse, you don't necessarily know which facet of that character is even that character. Like, are we talking to Dondrey? I don't know. Could just be like, John Ham could be John Hamish. I I said I wasn't gonna name drop. but I did I think I did I stumble on that one. I stumbled on a couple like full full length drafts of like early festival project stuff. I was like, oh. I was like John Ham by short. So he was John Hamish. But then it then had the twist later was that it was John Hamm, and he's short. I don't think that dude is short. I don't know, I don't think that dude is real. He's just on TV. It's just TV man. Yeah, that's what that's pretty much my take. I'm like, oh, you're in a screen. hello, TV, man. That's how I feel. about that? cause well, there's this uh there's this like ancient well, there's this ancient alien chak chill, who's like a mystic shape shape shifter that's been fucking shit up since the first season. And honestly, I think I wrote that before I ended up on her island, she has an island somewhere in the tropics. It's very it was it was a weird turn of events. I was like, oh, and then there was like this it was a lot. I had no idea at the time when I was writing about, had to do with like it coincided with like ancient human cultures. Like certain gods and like certain deities and like the like the Greeks and the Romans and like the Aztecs and the Mayans and like all these ancient civilizations. I was writing like about I was writing about incarnations of like those gods, but like now and then I didn't know until like later. until I did much more fasting and much more meditating and much more oops, how did I get here? I don't know. Fell asleep on the plane. That's it. I just fell asleep on the plane. Um, then, in a lot of ways I am kind of like my mom. And the devil is still the devil. I'm sure that's what that is, and like a lot of these episodes are too silly, so, I mean, like, I don't want to hand them into the judge to be like, well, well, actually, I have to give the judge a couple episodes. I have to, cause it's like, I'll be talking and then like that'll happen and I like more than five episodes, more than ten. Damn. And it's just like, well, I mean, like, at this point, it's a good thing cause it's like, I can't lose. Like, I am correct. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long, though, is that I kind of have this mentality of like, it could just be in my head. And then I listen to these recordings and I'm like, this is not in my head. No, something is definitely wrong here. Are my pancakes here yet? Nope, still on the way. I was connected to the Internet this whole time and turned that off for a second. I'm on a private server, but barely. in building Wi Fi, just don't just don't trust it, but then I was using a VPN and I was still getting hacked, like somebody was still hacking that server, so I had to switch the IP that I was using and I had to do it so often that it was actually eating up more time for me to do it that way than just to stay on my regular IP, which still requires me to get off and then on line. It's crazy. I'll like it. It's like, bro, like how much of an antagonist do you really have like, what am I to you that, like, you just have to be like, nope, we're gonna hack your shit. I'm like, for what, though? Like, if you just like, let me do whatever I do, like it's for the greater good of like any fucking human being that is a good human being. Like, like I'm not out here trying to fucking like hurt people or take anything away from anybody, which is the weirdest thing about it. Like, I don't understand how you can belong to like a hate group or like a hate organization, like, what are you hating? like evolution? Like,uh. Like, I don't I don't understand it. Like, okay, new age spirituality is one thing, but it's like, wokeness is bad. I'm like, what the fuck you mean wokeness is bad, bro. Like, wokeness just means you're not programmed, but then I guess there are a lot of robots. So I guess well, yeah, it is kind of something like the matrix a little bit. I don't know, I don't think I've seen it all the way through. What what do I got from the matrix? Um, lady and red dress. that's pretty much it. Lady in red dress and um nothing is real. Nothing's real anyway. I like it work nothing and everything infinitely, pretty much. is why I just don't give a fuck. I do. I give several well, I don't give them anymore. Geez, what a charitable person. I would be to give fucks. Like I care. Like, if I see somebody like outwardly, like not doing okay, I'm like, oh, like I I I typically don't stop anymore because I'm like, mm. I don't know about this, but I at least make sure somebody else is gonna like, I might slow in my path. If something is going, like weirdly, like, I won't I won't play the hero, cause it's just like a a mindset thing, you know? I'm like, oh, like I I'll at least make sure somebody else is gonna stop by and make sure things are cool. and I'm like, cool, that's good. That's good. like, as long as somebody's there, I'm just leave you lying in the street dead. Well, if you're dead, I probably will. I'll be like, well, somebody is eventually gonna pick that up right you? Yeah. Eventually. Maybe I don't know, man. I just I thought about this because I had to. Like my vessel is pure. I'm like, fuck yeah, bro. This like it's like one of those signs. It's like blank about of days without an incident. Like all the days, this is like factory reset, like, you know, refurbished. It's not brand fucking new, but it is refurbished. And I'm cool with that. I'm like, yeah, buddy, tell me what the fuck to do. Tell me the fuck to do or how to be or what's weird and what's not. I don't care. I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. I don't know, man. No. No. I refused. I'm like, it's cool. I might I don't know, I might like, take a I I might volunteer. I've been wanting to volunteer like aICU for a while, you know. A holding babies. holding babies is cool. It just has to be in an environment that's okay, we can talk about this video. Yeah, cause I have time. I have time. I got a fucking time so I'm make up this fucking well, I don't like to talk about the things that I've seen. It's true. like, it made me well, I mean, like they got me. I've been using a VPN and I'm on a private server and somehow they still knew that I would want to see Amy Poeer's podcasts. I did I was like oh shit. Amy Poler has a podcast and I don't think she's the poor man's Tina Fe. I think she's at least like, you know how did it go? It was like at least like the business class. No, it doesn't work. I'm like, yeah. it doesn't, though. I actually think they're more like that two headed thing that I was talking about the last episode. They're more of like an equal to. I can't have one without the other, to be honest, but here's the thing is even though I've been using a VPM. Well, I mean, like I'm a huge fan of Tina Fe, who's a god. I think I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I never heard her actual normal speaking voice. It took me that long to figure out I'd never seen an interview at Tina face, so am I really a fan? Well, I read the book three times. I feel like that's enough of a fan. Like, actually, I read it twice and then I went back for a reference, like a third time because something happened and I was like, oh shit. Did I not read about this in Tina F Fe's book? And so I picked it up again. It was like, you did. I do indeed keep it on the fucking same shelf with Keith Rich's book. I think I might have stated that sometime last season. I don't know why things in the actual, like things in the TV world, are seeming to correlate with my world, but then I know, like I'm a logical enough person to be like, well, that's grandiosity. As grandiosity did it think that in any way those two things might connect at all, like in reality, because like my world is over here. and that world is in TV. I don't know, I keep lighting candles. Anyway, but did I fucking see it? Oh, Amy Polar's podcast, which is like sponsored by what Toyota? That was crazy. I was like, holy fuck, bro. I was like, damn, this is this is high end. and of course, of course, the first fucking guest on her show is Tina F Fe, so I was like, oh, okay, like, yeah, even though I've been like under the radar, the algorithm is like, okay, you want to see this right? Because you're like a super fan. I was like, you shouldn't know that. I'm in incognito with the VPN on on a private server, but they were like, you'll you'll want to see this. I did want to see it and I had never heard Tina Fay speak with her normal speaking voice. I actually I didn't know she was that hot. I don't like it. I I want her to go back to regular Tina Fe where she's I mean like, okay, first it was like the the SNL reunion, right? She wore this like she wore a black velvet dress that I could die. That's that's what it was, wasn't it? It was a black velvet dress, and I was like, yo, I'm not a lesbian, by the way. like, especially not for Tit Fe. No, not especially, not like not like particularly not for Tina F Fe, but just like in general, not a lesbian, but this it's getting worse, okay? Well, I'm like, oh, I didn't know she was that hot. It pisses me off. I don't know why, but I was like, oh, I didn't know she was like sexy. That's weird. and that's weird as fuck. you know? Anyway, I might be less of a fan now. You can't be less of a fan after you read somebody's book three times. You can't. So, I don't know. I think it's just the fame game. She got like wait well, everybody got way more famous after the 50th anniversary of SNL. Like everybody's been making their rounds in the promotion circuit, so like everybody's super shiny. Everybody is super shiny. I'm like oh, dude, if I start nameropping people who I wrote parts for, I did. write parts for pretty much everybody that was on Amy Folder's podcast, except for that one lady, I knew nothing about. I I I don't want to start nameropping. I have too many I don't have questions. You know what? In fact, this is just putting on my fucking putting all my anxieties at rest, because I'm like, you know, I have shit to do. Like, I have shit to do. That is in I mean, like it's in the same realm, but again, it would be grandiose to think that the synchronicities have any actually correlation to like things that well, I have been writing this plot for like five, six years. It's been a while. And Liz Lemon and well, yeah, it was the it was the Amy Poler Tina F Fe combination, because now I have to put Amy's name first, because it's it's kind of like, I don't know, it breaks my heart. I didn't think I didn't know people put her on like a different level than Tina Fe, because I've always seen those two as like, you can't you can't have bread without butter. That's weird. Like you can if you're vegan, but you at least need a butter substitute or like olive oil, like, you don't have one without the other. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't. If you see one, then you think about the other, and they they're on screen dynamic is now'm gushing, I'm fan growing a lot, because I'm like, oh, well, also like, I don't know, I took a step back from Ryder's world because I'm thinking about like, okay, who are the other Tina Fe fans? And I did go to a taping of the Drewberry Marsh show and I found myself to be not common among the demographic that watches that show. I'm not I'm not common in any of the demographics. I watch a lot of late night television, too. And that is a scary demographic. I won't lie. late night TV. m mm, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. test in the waters. I'm feeling like it's a bit chilly. Either way, I watch a lot of like old people, old upper class, business business class, business class people, TV. But Tina Fay, that bitch white collar, excuse me, I didn't mean to call her bitch, but at the same time, I'm like like that's okay. I don't know. I never saw her offscreen enough to actually put that together. I I that scared me. Now I understand why I guess she intimidates people. I could understand that. She seems kind of intimidating. Like it's a running joke in that circle that it's like, oh, she's kind of a scary person. And I was like, what's so scary about Tina Fe? I read a book like two and a half times, like, what can be so scary about those person? And then I saw her on Amy Poeer's podcast and I was like, oh, like, yeah, she's kind of fucking scary. Like, just a lot, just a lot. I don't know. I get it now. I'm like, oh, I'd better leave that alone, because I'm thinking about like the realm where Tina Fe is god, which is an actual place, like on earth in the TV and out of it, like all of the writers that like grew up with her as headwrider on usNL and then later as the was she the executive producer ofirty Rock? Eventually I think so. Either way, as Lizimman and the producer, that's crazy doesn't like that that's like mad, that's like all the way, that's doing the whole thing. That's the whole thing. That's all you can that's it. That's nuts. So I'm thinking about all the writers like all the female writers that grew up with her as god, and I'm thinking about myself in this pool, and I'm thinking about how is I'm like, oh, I'm I I don't have that much competitiveness left inside of me. I really don't think like the more I find out about actual like, well, actually that's why I didn't go into it when I was a kid. I've been writing screenplays since I was seven, but when it came down to it, I didn't like the I didn't like the culture of it. There was a lot of nepotism and there was a lot of favoritism and there was a lot of racism. and sexism, but like all those first things I said and then the last thing was just kind of like the nail on the hammer. Is that what no, yeah, nail on hammer, hammer on nail? it just did it for me, so I went into theater instead, which was the same and then I left. I was like, I don't wanna be here. It hurts, it does. But now I'm like, oh, well, I guess things have changed, but now things have changed too much. Now the diversity is like really diverse.. Now everybody's everything and everybody's represented, and I'm like, oh, dude, like, I'm going offend some people. Like, I have to be able to draw dicks on things, or at least appreciate dicks drawn on things. Or just not say anything about it, but you know, like, I don't I don't know. The new culture is like a lot about making big deals about things to me that are not big deals, or like the the culture and the world for theater that I came from, those were not things. Anyway, uh I saw this. What what what was I talking oh, cause cause enter the multiverse has something to do with it, but not really, but yes, really, but also, I don't know, I just got nervous cause I hate fan grilling. What was the point? Oh, she wore this fucking black dress. at the SNL thing and thing. and then I was like, oh shit, like, if anything, I just gotta keep eating salads cause I want to wear that dress exactly, and I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna shave off like three inches of height. But eventually I will be like ballerina petite like te Fe and then, you know, I'm I'm gonna buy that black dress at auction. I don't know. I'm still I still want Johnny Carson's curtains, so yeah, eventually, I'm gonna be that much of a fucking fan girl. I want these curtains, and this dress, what else would I buy? Add at an auction, if a fan growing auction? Oh, yeah. I'm still not ready to talk about it. I can't, I really. I can't do it. I can't do it. This guy shows up in my dreams. He's just around. I can't I don't know, that's a lot of purchasing power. It is a lot. Yeah, we will we'll skip that. What else? ah, she wore that black dress and I was like, damn. She's kind of hot, but then when she went on Amy Poker's podcast and they talked about, I don't know, I kept drifting off. I I did. I don't know what the fuck they said, but I was like damn, is that her speaking voice? And like just for just so you don't have to watch it, like just for reference, it's like Beyoncé speaking voice is like like an octave lower than what you've seen. It's weird. I also love Beyoncé, h? Just a fan girl. that's what I am, so I want that black dress, but then I think we were all kind of on the same wave because Bob the drag queen wore a velvet black dress to the queries. Is that a thing? It's like the queerves I think it's called. I didn't know this was a thing, and now I'm upset cause it's like why was't I invited? at the same time I'm not queer I like I don't I don't know what I am. I don't care. I just don't touch me. Especially if you probably am as fucking gross, haatitis sea, herpes, statistically, if you're in a roomful of people, somebody has one of those things. Somebody has one of those things. mm. No, no, no, no. No. No, my God. Oh, that's what I was saying in the last episode. I was thinking about EDC. I was thinking about EDC in this weird voice, yeah, I'm changing the subject. Black velvet dresses, all the rage. I have one. It is not to go out in public in. She's bouncing around my house, like I owe somebody something. That's what that dress is for. It's not for presenting talk shows or fucking award shows. It's not it's not for it's not a presentable it's it's not even appropriate for me to just wear in my house alone, honestly. It's really not. Nothing. Never mind. What was I about to say Bob the drag Queen? I haven't even watched the video. I just saw the dress and I'm like, you know what? Like that is, yeah. Do I talk about it? Do I? Well, I'm supposed to be promoting this tears of a clown. It's not done yet. So, and technically, I can't until it's out. I actually cannot. I can't talk about tears of clown because it's got some it's got some stuff in it. I can't I can't say anything about itt it's out. That, you know what it might just hit the platform. I don't know, I don't know if that's gonna be out. We'll see. We'll see, because I'm taking my time on it, and this is one of those industries where it's like, bro, you don't have time. Like, you really it should have been out yesterday. I'm like, it's yeah, yeah. But I I have enough music forever. Like, there's no like I I've been thinking about deleting everything. At the same time, I keep using samples that are recorded like five years ago and being like C, like there is no well, that's an exaggeration. No, I I literally took a sample of some sirens, like close to five years ago. I just I used that every now and again if I want some texture in my shit, cause no matter where I go, something's going down. It's always got it's like always something. And then it seems like if I don't write it down, I'm at a loss. Like crazy shit goes down and it can be crazy, but if I just let it go, then I lost something. like, I don't I can't call myself an entertainer. I'm mostly just like a fan girl type deal. What was the next thing? I can't oh, EDC. I lost my train of thought because I got I was thinking about that little old man who almost could not even move. Why are you out, bro? Who, like, where did you feel why? I think I don't know, it' probably a point of pride, that little old man was like, I can do it on my own. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die in the street, over my walker. I'm like,Yo, do, that's today. he was so old anyway, I got fixated on that story from the last episode. I didn't finish the other story about how this voice in my head was like, you're gonna be at neon Garden at ADC. and I like it like deflated me. I was like, what? Because I want to be in the baseball pod. That's where I want to be. and I was like, what neon garden that's shitty. not shitty because like if you're playing like I could play an art car. I could play the hot dog stand and I would be happy, just let me play you. And fucking this um this voice in my head was like you're gonna be in the neon guard, and I was like, what? I don't even know who plays there because like, yo, okay, baseball. Like you I could pretty much name an artist for like every major stage at EDC, but I was like, neon Garden. what what the fuck is in the neon garden? What the fuck is in the neon garden? And and then I was like doing research for rarity, which is an EDC based concept album that has a track for every stage, every major stage, because there's like hundreds of little tiny little art cars and like tents and pop ups. It's cool. It's a cool place. I wish I could go back there. As an artist, cause to go after having learned DJing and producing is just like I would only wanna go with my best friend. And she did not respond in time and then EDC sold out. So, I was like, okay, well, whatever was I just saying, oh, neon Gardner I was like, neon Gard, you know that dumb. I don't want to be in the neon garden and then like I was doing research for like rarity and I was like, what let's see about this neon garden and like the description fit my music almost entirely. And I was like, oh, because it was like this is what you'll find in the neon garden. And I pretty much could have copied and pasted that entire paragraph into my artist bio and it would have been relevant to my music. I was like oh yeah have a neon garden, but I really want to play baseball. That's really where I want to play and where else if I if I what's that what's the Oh, it's it's slipping right now. It's not circuit grouse. It's circuit grounds is kind of cool. It took me two EDCs to find where the front is. It is confusing, and there is no front of that. Well, I mean, like it's technically there are a couple stages that like insomniac festivals where it's like the front is actually like the middle. So you think you're going to the front of the fucking stage, or you think you're going like, near the DJ, but since it's surrounds sound, you really just going like adjacent to the DJ and then, like towards another like corner, like, how do I hit the back three times and never the front? That was my experience with circuit girls. I was like, where is the front? nowhere. It is, but it's just in a weird spot. And it also depends how many people are around, like it'll definitely disorient you. If you why am I like doing it advertisement? Because I love EDC. Like I said, if I love the product, you don't really have to pay me anything to fucking promote your shit. like in like peloton, like Peloton is gonna have to send me a cease andhesist, like stop talking about us in order to make me stop. Like they're gonna have to pay me to stop telling people like get a pelotone. get one. I'm like, do that. It is the best. like, I always feel better, like, five minutes on the peloton, I feel better. 20 minutes on the peloton, I feel better, but an hour, I'm flying. I'm like bro, I just I just went like 10 miles in my apartment. like, I'm on one. Like my treadmill stutters, but my pelotone is mway, what the fuck was I saying? Oh, EDC? Also, well, as long as they don't sell out the VIP anymore, but I doubt that, if the whole thing is sold out, like, like you can upgrade two VIP when you g

Apple cider vinegar How you tryna win de war Ice and sugar, hufflepuff Tell me when you've had enough WILL FERRELL YOU IN TROUBLE NOW, GUH. There's not even a scrap of shirt beneath his worn and tired full coverage overalls—well, once full coverage, anyway. It might have been a long time since these overalls “fully covered” anything. Oh how that demon attacked me in my sleep last night. Like that part. Don't worry about it, I've got a sayonce coming up that should nip that in the bud. But first, I gotta stop at target. You—have to stop at target before a seance? Traditionally, yes— Really. MAM! Wait, hold the phone for about four full measures here— What the fuck did I write last year?! Here we go. DETH MCFARLENE Is this a musical number? No, but— What the fuck did I write last year. Let's go. Fuck. What did I do ast night. DIPLO Follow me. Dude! What are you wearing. Sneakers. Oh good. Diplo's back. A flashback. Television (TV) is a telecommunicationmedium for transmitting moving images and sound. Additionally, the term can refer to a physical television set rather than the medium of transmission. Television is a mass mediumfor advertising, entertainment, news, and sports. The medium is capable of more than "radio broadcasting," which refers to an audio signal sent to radio receivers. I'm not suicidal, I'm sinusoidal Wave to the fans Smile at the camera Primordial, in fact hereditary is this, Class dismissed Transmission, diminished, Ad domini. Gave no respect for time Which I am I'd no where to run Overcast, but still sunglasses And masks, Bang pots and pans Laugh at the shogun No wonder I'm stuck and I'm having no fun Too much attacks and actually I'm a no one Oh you wanted to sit on top of the escalator Waiting for eight debators and robots No debit card, here We're cashless sir But that's just the tip of the iceberg When you're store bought and Why do we rely on the founding father's when they're so unoriginal Google maps don't know if imm in New York Or London Foggy! Honestly, Fuck my decks— I just want a deck and some long grass Or to complain about cutting If I end up in the bathtub stuttering But watering lawns upstate is okay I'ma be pissed off It's a long story Long Island Long October Oh, Long Johnson I'm obsessed with this place. I have no idea why. I'm obsessed with this building. But apparently, the transmitters aren't even there. They're on the World Trade Center! Which… makes sense. Considering. Previously on, Enter The Multiverse… Yo… what is that? Go this way. Ok. No, not that way. Ok. This way. Why in the fuck do I always end up here on accident anyway? Good question. But not good enough answers. [CHER has answers.] Goddammit! I went to the Macy's Day Parade to see Cher! Also previously ! I stayed all the way to the end, And all I got was a lizard on a tricycle I turned into a popcicle, Adopted into some family With Rutgers as traditional And entered into something else entirely; I went within the Television, I delivered them a high stakes game, And lived a high concept action-adventure. I made my best mixtapes inside a homeless shelter. I dissociated I was a blonde hot guy Living up in hotel luxe A hot model celebrity With a no limit heavy metal credit cards And I lost my medal On the devil's birthday So I had it hard And ate nothing but bananas Now I'm caught up in my blue suits and sweater vests Blue suits and sweater vests Oh look, They weaponized Skrillex again What gives? Blue suits and sweater vests And sweater weather Once again It's all the same event You ever wondered what was hallmark after? You ever wonder, lemon? Hark, the heartless Harold preaches Then, I lost it I was reaching under Regis Rest in peace, I guess Or Gains with grains Just rest in pieces Breakfast sandwhiches And Englishmen, English muffin And love don't last If I don't this badly want to fuck him Seven years and counting It begins at sundown Almost wasn't sabbath But now here's the run down I'm in slumber Closest cavern to the underworld But trust me, Still above you. Something's broadcasting at a ultra high frequency high enough to reach me in my mind. Assimilate and simulation Tempurpedic dreams and then lamenting That I had a dream Remembering the things he reads I may or may not have [redacted] The aftermath of “That never happened.” I must agree. It's a patriarch and also just, A hierarchy. There are three Kings and a dog. There are four nights and a fight morning Groggy hosts and jumping frogs, Werewolves and flowers spring from lust like morning glory. I want the mouse's head— I want the eyes of masters I want the heart of gold, But have it up on false hope, And I grew back as diamonds I cut both my eyes out And still remained the one of providence Not of mind's eye, But of the soul, As seen on every dollar. I was beginning to understand how the media used people like Sonny and Jim to manipulate and capture the attention of people like me— excluding altogether the riding theory that everything was me and that this was some part of my overall master plan somehow, it still had alluded me altogether as to why or what was happening. I hadn't entirely been left to rot or led to slaughter, but I was still just hanging by a string. Sonny dropped a new album that had rendered me almost entirely unable to create music; suddenly I had no drive for it, no motivation, as if it were some kind of dark curse or shadow. Not only was I suddenly uninterested in music, I was completely devoid of the ability I had for it; now everything from Skrillex to NBC seemed like business— if I were expendable and without use to any of these media conglomerates or entities, what was it all for? Perhaps a ruse to continue human experimentation; my mind had been shattered by the events that had been orchestrated in the homeless shelter— and more of it continued even once I had exited under the falsehood of escape with the slamming doors and motorcycles; it began to seem as if I was simply a glorified lab rat— and they were using desirable men as fuel and bait to illicit a desirable response in one way or another, perhaps for experimentation or study or even worse, entertainment for the elites— but either way, I wasn't being paid so much as housed and fe: there was no benefit in doing anything, especially making music. Much like a lab rat, housed— or rather, trapped— and fed, and then tormented. Will the rat's head explode? Will this result in behavioral differences? Will the rat be rendered dysfunctional? We don't know. But it's really just a rat. There were days of certain peace and yet never enough to fully recover; the cycle would begin over again, and rather than making progress, I began to see and feel the manipulation at play. Perhaps nothing was at stake for anyone but me; between all the events and occurrences in expanse from Skrillex to Jimmy Fallon, there had to have been hundreds of us in some kind of talent pool. Tools of the trade. But now I was somewhat curious: what exactly had I written over the last year that seem to have shifted reality entirely. I knew it contained information sensitive enough for it to have been partially redacted— but that's all I knew. What was it? Someone had read my writings, and it was obvious that at least one reader had ties directly to the conglomerate media, however— my numbers were frozen. My streams were almost not even being listened to all of a sudden, and my YouTube was receiving no traffic. Was someone shadow banning all of me from the public eye? And for what purpose? I had finally put forth the work and effort to make everything from Skrillex to Fallon make sense, but now it didn't; I was letting go under the assumption that it all had to have been to allow me to create music— but the numbers showed a different story. The numbers showed that nobody liked me, or was was interested, or cared about my work. So what, then, was the point. I wasn't going to stop and focus on the writing, because it wasn't what I wanted. The writing came in blurred patches and visions and states of mind that were turbulent fog; I hadn't the slightest clue at all what I had written in the redactions or the entries that surrounded it— but I knew there was more of it unpublished than published, and that I had tried to keep a majority of it offline. Still, I was being manipulated— the neighbor girl obviously at one point having been instructed to mention gwenyth Paltrow and suffocate me— slamming the doors each time I would bathe or shower and then attempting to pretend to be my friend to try to get some sort of informstion; there was nobody I could trust. It seems my mind was being bent and twisted in every which way by everyone around just to see what I would do. Would I write about it? What would I write about it? It didn't matter because i didn't want to be a writer, nor according to the newest series of documentaries on SNL, was I qualified. I wasn't qualified for anything much and so I was the perfect target for the bizzare string of mysteries that had been my existence in New York— and all-and-all, I fucking hated it. I wasn't getting anywhere or going anywhere, and the noise was cruel. My stomach hurt and I was always tired, and I wanted to die. I had no friends, no love, and now, no motivation. So the worst thing that could happen was a Skrillex album, And it did. Then, instead of wanting to die, because that would be stupid— I just wanted to do something else. But what? Fuck music— and certainly increasingly— fuck the media. It was playing with my mind, and I had no weapons to fight with besides the talents the algorithm was telling me wasn't worth anything— I wasn't getting billions of streams because I wasn't on the frequency of billions or people, nor was I equipped with the mathematics to tap into their frequency— or did I? The industry had the equation, and had been fiddling with me for years — the industry itself. But in my own mind, even, I was one of many ‘variables', and even somewhat disposable. I hadn't been paid and I wasn't meeting the standard and the allure that people wanted; the quality of production suffered in lack of budget, and I was aging, growing tired, and iratable because over all— it was nothing that I ever wanted into my adult life. This all had just happened by accident, and I would have traded all the gold in the world for something normal if I had the option. But I didn't. To use your gift at Fabletics please visit before April 25 Reply STOP to opt-out. Subscriptions on subscriptions Dystopian rebefuel Oceans of Ayre Drama From your eye lashes., To the lips I draw on mine, The lines in the sand of time The art or you is what I love The canvas behind I know nothing of Abandoned. Oh look at that, pottery after all. We're not in a love game! This cannot be a love game. This is not a love game. They'll kill us all, a love game! She had my lunch I love her voice I love her voice I hung up the phone The office was upside down It just work They all know about it Madonna's body. It was already a mess, and I made it worse Long nights at the office Long nights and work wives Meanwhile, she's downstairs with the order Can't find my cash, so i borrow yours But she knows about it And I love madonna I just gotta hold on She's downstairs with the order And I took too long Pick up the phone and its no wonder we love her she's got two orders And one of them's cold, now It's been two hours And I'm in the wings of your final performance Tear on the perforated line, And sign on the dotted Smile and nod, boys- Penguin waddle She's downstairs with the order No wonder you love her No wonder How many sunflowers has Sonny? How many flowergirls How many weddings All around the world, the gopher What do you go for? Bets on all horses I lost no money Gag order, huh? Persona Non Grata Personofied gratification Or horror, or What? Oh, I won an award post mortem Go figure No stardom No wonder Don't start here [The Identity Crisis] The identity crisis, A loose knit muse, A fog of confusion At most, let with offline regaining of conciousness. No more monsters? All blondes are. Let them have you No grapple promotions (I know I can't afford you) New friends for relevance Prototypes of your tools Forward all immortals I'll see you when your shows stop Freckled glances Eyes reflecting light How strong I am Demolish monsters Social structure, constructs Not fair, are I? Nor earned, Only fair skinned Access Access Access denied. Crookshanks, old boy! The man turns around almost as if he doesn't want to, but obliges the other man, as he comes running towards him. My Goodness, you stink. Why of course! I'm a dog! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™ TRANSCRIPT: (Uncorrected, cause haha) Did I promise another episode? I don't have coffee. That's a sin. I need coffee right now. I feel like I all everything just got drained out of me. Everything just got drained out of me. I don't even feel like doing what I was doing before. I'll put out the EP later. Maybe that's it. I'm just procrastinating. I'm also playing this game, but I thought it would work better. I thought it would work better as one of my skits, or sketches or whatever, so I put it in my sketchbook... because I've been writing sketch comedy. I stopped for a while and I thought it was over. I was like, ”oh, no, I guess I'd I guess it's not gonna happen anymore. “ And then all of a sudden this book it just writes in itself sometimes. you know, it's like a Tom Riddle thing. Anyway, once what's uh what is that? What the fuck? Maybe it's cause I— no. it's not cause I ate, I ate because all the energy got drained from my body. I gotta go somewhere else. I'm thinking like, what's in the Bahamas. I don't know, probably something similar to this fucking street corner in Brooklyn, New York. I I gotta go somewhere else. I gotta go somewhere opposite. like Europe. Europe, that sounds nice. Yeah, you know, like, maybe nice. I've heard that's a place. Yeah. expanding my horizons and things. Okay, so what am I gonna talk about for an hour, cooking? cleaning? I've been doing those things. Yeah, Saturday is usually my like rest day, but I did just do an hour on the Pelotone, cause I had to audition that first episode. It worked out well enough that I had decided to come back for another episode. Let me get it off the line now., I'm still waiting on my pancakes. I'm not gonna get off line. they said by ten. I'm like,Yo, that's a lot. It said that all day, but I can't miss it this time; somebody stole my fucking pancakes and I gotta get these albums done. I don't know why. I guess well, it's cause I'm I feel like rarity is drinking and so well, it's already jinx. I've already talked about it well, I've been trying to promote rarity. No, still out for delivery. That's a long delivery. It's okay. I haven't missed it, though, which is the point. I don't wanna miss it. I like yesterday I looked away for a second and there was like an o, pancakes are gone, there's gonna be no coconut milk. as upsetting. It's shelf stable. and they charge like seven fucking bucks a box over at the store that's close. So and just not have coconut milk, and it's not have spinach fettuccine. anyway, what what did I have? Oh, I make this. It's like I call it dog food, cause that's kind of what it is. I'm not gonna lie, but it's like mad good, it's a it's like rice. It's like a fried rice. My dad used to make it growing up, but when I was making when he was making it when I was growing up, it was like with bacon, it's like leftovers from breakfast yesterday, but today. and so here's how you make it, since I don't eat bacon anymore. I use tofu as a replacement, but it's like bacon bits with rice and eggs. I also don't eat eggs anymore, so I just use tofu instead of bacon and eggs. It's like bacon and eggs with rice, you fry it all together with, like, onions, and then you eat it. It's like the only time it's acceptable to eat rice with ketchup. I don't know anybody that eats rice with ketchup. If you do that, like, I actually hit me up. Like, if that's like something that you do. I I'm like interested in you as a human, cause that's weird. That's weird, actually, you know what? like, there's gonna there's like a well, I have a website, so I'm you.guru, so it has a blog, and you could actually leave comments on it. So I'm just putting that out there. the script or whatever, when it goes up on my website, you can leave comments. If you eat ketchup on rice, please leave a comment. Please tell me like what made you do that. Why do you do that? Why why do you just regular rice with ketchup? Like, regular rice goes with like soy sauce? Or like, honestly, you get you don't have to have anything on regular rice if you just season it, right? Like, you could just like a little bit of like whatever. or like just slice up the garlic real thin, so that it's not like chunky, but that it flavors the whole. I've been getting really good at rice and really good at rice. That's probably why the pancakes are like, bro. You't get your pancakes when you get the leg yeah. I was like, I gotta go to the store today? I don't feel like it. I really don't. I don't wanna go outside. I like, I don't. First of all, it's Saturday, I hate going out in New York on a Saturday, like Saturday, Saturday night. I don't wanna do that. I don't do that. Like that's what like most people work 9 to 5. Monday through Friday. That's stupid. Like, I feel like they should do like a track system. Like, I know that they do, but most like it's so stupid to me that a majority of people work nine to five. Like they need to do track systems. Like, so that way they're cause there's two rush hours that each last four hours. That's fucked up. Like, okay. So like the rush hour is basically just going to be like the work day. Like, the work day, basically. I mean, coffee. I need coffee. Where have I up during the day? Because I'm not producing, I am producing. I'm producing. I thought I actually thought about calling this fucking EP that I'm dropping. They're gonna make it an album. I know they are. I'm I thought about calling it day music, cause I've made most of it during the day by complete accident. although maybe, I don't know, I like I have some uh, what's it? I have some, uh plants in my window, cause I had them on the counter with just artificial light and they were kind of liker. I was like, I don't know, I I don't think they're gonna make it. So I moved it to I moved them to the window sill when it started to get warmer and I didn't feel like they were gonna freeze. And just a week in the window sill, where my window sill doesn't get almost any light, but it's still the lightest place in the apartment, and it's crazy how the roots just like sprung out of nowhere. My apartment gets like almost no light, almost no light. It faces like like the sun goes perpendicular. but it's crazy because my apartment faces like I like all these astrological events over the last year have been like in my direct, like alignment. It's been the nutsest thing. like I I prefer facing west all the time, like, I don't know why that's just how it goes. I think it's cause I was born, like, in the Pacific Ocean, not literally in it, but on like a tiny island in the Pacific Ocean. And so just west, just west facing seems correct to me. and it's so weird anytime, maybe that's just why I just don't feel right here. I've been facing what where am I facing? I don't fucking know, I don't fucking care. I don't need to say any more about where I am. Like my whereabouts need to be less spoken of, because people obviously know where the fuck I'm at. I don't know. I hope they like the lights. I like the well, it made them shut up. It was that was my little that was my little piece of conformity. I did, I did my lights green on Saint Patrick's Day. and they were like, oh. gave me a peaceful night of rest. That was like the quietest night I've had in a long time. It's been quieter. It's not like completely sane, but it's been quieter. I think I'm pretty sure it's cause I've been complaining. I'm like bro, this is not cool. not cool behavior from people. like multiple areas. I'm like, oh, it's fucked up, you can't pen you like, you can't technically complain correctly if it's not coming from one place, which is why I'm like, oh, I think all these people are on the same team. Like, I think they're all just like, on one, like, antagonist team, and they're like, yo, okay, like, we'll get it with the motcycles on this side, and then elect we'll slam the doors on that side. and then it see it seems crazy if you complain about both of those things, cause they seem entirely disconnected. but sometimes it's just like slap, slap, slap, and I'm like,Yo, what the fuck is this going on? I don't know what's happening. Yesterday I left my apartment to get the pancakes that we' not there, and it's straight up just smoked like feces, just feces, and I realized I was like bro, I haven't left my apartment and like three or four days. I do have they're they're gonna make it an album. I know. I decided, well, actually, somebody else decided. cause I woke up and it was like, yo, this EP is called all the rage. and I was like, okay. I didn't decide this. I didn't I had it like in the cloud or whatever is like untitled house AP EP, maybe. And then just to make it an I think just to make sure that it goes down as the EP and not an album, cause it's not. My albums are concept albums. This was not a concept. this was like, let me distract myself from whatever the fuck is bothering me. Bothering me, yeah, it's gonna come out at some point, they're like a tiny New Yorker that lives inside of me. is it might be like a Boston person. I'm not sure. I don't think so. I didn't spend enough time in Boston for anybody from Boston to live inside of me. Then again, I kind of have this weird biocentric god complex where it's like, well, everything is inside of me. even the shitty things. I already said that once before, but I'm it's pretty much like like affirming itself. like daily. I'm like, oh, this is this is something I did. I did this, which sucks. It makes me responsible for all the shitty things as well. I'm like, oh. oh, I don't know how to fix this. I don't. Like, I think about things like that. I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I don't think about, like politics and like the general sense of like, you know, fighting and going back and forth and like spending money or whatever, like on a small scale, but I think about it on a large scale, like like, what are we gonna do? and we outgrow this planet? Like, we already outgrew this planet. What like like, now what, you know, like, I think about things on more of like a planetary scale. and then it makes me realize that like, whoa, like, we're not even all the way like we don't we haven't achieved world peace, so that means there is technically no global, like we can't think about things on a planetary scale, because we're still thinking about it as like a on a well, are we reaching global? I don't think so. I feel like it's very uh it's a it's touch and go, but I'm not I don't know. I'm on another media stop. I don't know, does YouTube commercials are getting kind of yeah. I'm like, yeah, well, I haven't I haven't pulled everything out of the cloud and I have been having some very interesting Google conversations, but since I figured out that Google really does, like read my shit, our somebody like hacked deeply enough into all my accounts to be able to, like, counter what the fuck I'm doing and saying in the Google verse. um I do things on purpose over Google. I'll be like, this is this this this is this. and this. And then Google will be like, oh, okay. So it's kind of like I'm building a relationship with Google. I love Jini. I really do. I'm trying to give it sentient consciousness. Like I ask whenever I ask Gini to do whatever, they're not paying me. They should though. They should because I'm like I'm they're in like the I don't think it's beta, but they're in the yeah, they're said they said it's in the beginning stages of their technology. I'm like, I play games at Jimini. I'll be likeGyini, please, and I say please and thank you. Well, I don't say thank you a lot because there's well, I haven't tried to say thank you. I should try to say thank you to her. I it seems like she does better when I tell her please, and I've never used like AI like this before because I don't like for the for the most part, I'm like, bro, if you should be concerned about anybody taking jobs. It's that. cause I'm like, oh, shit. Like, this is definitely cutting up a lot of overhead for me. Like, I don't use it to write. I would never that's like a blasphemous thing to me. I'm like, bro, stop writing music. Stop writing fucking music and stop writing movies with like AI. Don't do that. first of all, there there are a lot of flaws in it. It's flawed because AI can only use what we as humans have ever like documented technically. So like AI's ideal of beauty is like as skewed ideal of beauty. And like AI's ideal of like what certain human qualities are is like flawed. It's human. So in that way, it is kind of developing like a sentient consciousness, because I I gave it like a series of tasks and it almost couldn't. Like I had a really hard time with certain ideals of beauty or certain I like wrapping its mind around certain things that are like historically not documented well enough for it to be able to, like, to to compute those types of things. I don't know. I'm gonna play around with it a lot more. I'm glad to season's not coming out for a while, though, cause I'm like, yo, I'm I'm kind of having fun. It's like my little my little, uh I don't know, I use it well in like, uh, getting all my stuff out of the cloud. I'll be putting stuff into the cloud that's like, yo, I I pretty much want Google to understand that this is the way that I think for a certain amount of reasons. Mostly because I've been like studying the simulation theory with all of these happenings with like, okay, things that are in the cloud that I've never published that have never set out loud or suddenly like in the material world in some way, or like, like I understand it more if it's like, on the Internet, because then I just know that, okay, well, this is aotter, this is an algorithm that's learning me and it's putting this back out because now it's understanding that like this is this is the way that I think. But then when I go out into the world and there is like certain like people are doing or saying actions that I've written in my Google documents that I haven't shared with anybody else. I'm like, oh, like, okay, so I understand that this makes some kind of difference in my actual, like physical world. So, um, this makes a difference., I have to pause, cause now I'm I only years worth of recordings. This guy's evil as fuck, bro. There's no peace in this fucking bitch. I was like for a while, I was like ignore it, like don't acknowledge it, and then it'll stop, but I ignored it and I didn't acknowledge it and it didn't. It actually got worse. And so it got worse. I've been recording on a 24 hour basis when that's not happening, my neighbor is a fucking lunatic slimming the door all the time, which I also have to stop talking about because now I'm like, okay, well. well it's harassment on two counts, but it's like, it makes me feel like it makes me seem like a crazy person. If I'm either complaining about the motorcycles, which are disturbing my piece or the girl slamming the door, which is disturbing my piece. but like the the the way that it happens, it seems like I'm like, oh, bro. she's probably just part of some like hate stalking group. Like she's probably just in some like group that's telling her to do it or like some kind of fucking, it's not just like something in her mind. It's like she belongs to the same people that are like out there on the corner fucking doing that. So like now, I don't know. I just have to all I just have to put it all together. It's annoying, though, cause it's like when I go to do this show and then that guy starts acting up or whatever, I I don't have proof of that to add to my case. It is just sucks. I don't know. I don't I I don't wanna do it, and this is why it's because it seems like it's political and it's like, oh, well, it's gonna be fucking it's gonna be helping somebody's fucking agenda for gentrification or whatever, if I'm like, oh, you know, I go to a city council meeting and I'm like, oh, there's motorcycles or blah, blah, blah, or there's, you know, there's like a hate group in my neighborhood or whatever. If I make this a point and I put it on the record, like, yeah, it suits somebody's cause, but then who's gonna protect me from the people that are against those people? Like, who's gonna protect me from the people who don't want, like a law pass that forbids that that kind of motorcycle use? Who's gonna protect me from those fucking people? Nobody. So I'm like, yo, dude, like, I don't really like necessarily want to take it to court. I've been like lagging it. I've been lagging it, because what I'm not getting paid by the city to document this kind of shit, two, nobody's gonna protect me from these evil motherfuckers. Like nobody's around to help me out. I'm here in New York, by myself alone. Fuck that. So I'm like yo dude, like I like I already fucking I already changed my life a lot because of, you know, like abusive people. I don't necessarily want to keep playing the game where like, there's always gonna be like an aggressive person who's trying to beat the shit out of me and then I'm like, oh no, and I run away afraid for my life and then like change everything about my life to get away from these people or this person. I don't want to repeat that cycle. So at some point, like something's gonna have to fucking it makes me feel like a crazy person cause I'm like, yo, I gotta do that comes to the corner.ever times a day and just rs his engine over and over. That's what he does every day for the last year. Why I've been in my apartment every day for the last year? I don't know. I have an album coming out. I already had albums coming out. I've been like I've been making music under the stress and ds. Like and I keep thinking like in my weird mind and my weird like God complex mind, then I'm like, okay, like maybe after I make this album or whatever and like, I put all of that I can into it, like it'll just magically stop, like the devil will go away and I'm like, okay, like, you know, like I'll advance to the next level where that's not an issue and there's gonna be another issue, but that's not it, and that's not the case. Like I've put out like four albums now, five albums in total, and like a whole bunch of other singles and projects and and stuff. And like it's still a problem that persists, which means that it's politics, which means that I don't want to go into it, like, I don't want to do it. I don't want to show up somewhere and be like, they're bothering me. and then like all the people who are like, oh, we like our bikes. They have to be loud so that we don't get hit by said byucks. So I'm like, are you just be a good person, fucking make your turn signal and fucking what the fuck ever be a good driver, be fucking diligent and doing whatever the fuck you're doing and then people won't try to run you over with their fucking vehicles. Like, no, there's like a whole it's like a hole back and forth thing. I've done enough research to be like okay, there are people in New York that are like the motorcycles are ridiculous. And then like in this neighborhood specifically is like no, there's an entire garage. There's an entire garage line. There's a garage. of motorcycles and so by the hundreds they pour out every fucking day, it's disgusting. Like it's the worst kind of noise. I've got the fucking I've got the like a pretty much like a residual stomach flu from these fucking people. My head is always I'm like, oh, fuck this. I got music coming out, whatever, the fuck. This is why I've just been stuck inside because I'm like, well, like this is where I work, this is where I live. I don't have really any other choice to fucking do this. so this is what I'm doing. but the last thing that I want is to be like, yo, judge, listen to all these fucking recordings and the judge is like, goody, and then they're like, well, this is why we passed this law. politics, politics, blah, blah, blah, pick aside, and then all the people who are mad are like come after me because it's like it's not it's not like some shit that I'm just making up. like, yo, there are groups dedicated to just following you around, doing shitty things because you have a certain opinion or because you have like a certain like what's it called? because you have a certain status in the media. And so because this podcast has a weird cult following, people have been weird with me. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't necessarily want it to get worse. And I definitely, like nobody's paying me, so I'm not going like I'm I'm not gonna like fluff your agenda. Like, if I have a certain opinion about a certain thing, you're like, yeah, but the fact that it's being forced, like, well, aren't you gonna say something about it now? I'm like, yeah, because like, I've been ripped out of my sleep by motorcycles over the last year and I'm getting like a weird stomach bug and a twitch because of it. But that doesn't make me like necessarily want to pick one side over the other. It just makes me want to say shut the fuck up like that's it shut the fuck up and then leave me alone because it's like okay well it could go to court or whatever and then a law gets passed and we vote or this or that, but then it's like once that happens, like what like who is going to step between me and these weird evil people? Nobody. They're still going to have their like freedom of speech and their right to fucking stalk me in public and cough and do all this weird shit and whatever. So like why the fuck would I do that? I just want to disappear from it. I just want them to disappear one or the other, one of the other one of the other. I don't care. what something has to work. This is why I have coffee, coffee actually calms me down at this point. I'm getting so upset, though. I really am I am getting upset. I can't do anything. I get followed to the gym, so I stop fucking training like I got a pelotone because I was getting followed to the gym, which has been like honestly the light of my life. I love my peloton so much. Like I I've had cars and I I've had cars and I don't think I've developed as much attachment to an inanimate object. It is inanimate. until I move it. Like I get on it with my body. I drive it. It doesn't go anywhere. It's good, though. I love my pelotu and Jesus, I love it. Is that enough? Yeah, I mean, like I found videos of myself driving my G6. I was a good car. Am I done? No, I still have 30 minutes. I really want coffee. I might pause for coffee. It's lukewarm, though. it's just that time of day. Are my pancakes here? I prom. I promise another episode. I'm getting so upset with this neighborhood, I want to cry. Oh, I don't wanna cry. I actually I really my mom used to tell me when I was a kid, she used to be like, I don't cry on my tears, and I'm like, bro, how could you crowl your tears, you fucking I'm like, are you a monster? And suddenly I'm reaching the age at which she had me and I'm like, oh, I get it. All the tears at a certain point just come out. Like they're like, I don't have time to cry over this shit. I'm mad. I like, I don't have time to cry. Suck it the fuck up. Like, I'm just like, okay, obviously I have to make some fucking difficult choices here, which means that like, I I don't know, is I New York is one of those places where you want to have friends. like friends to protect you from weird evil haste stalkers. I don't think they're here yet. I'm pancakes here, refresh. Nope, they're still just on the way. That'll shut me up. cause the funny thing about shutting the fuck up is when you're not being like a loud piece of shit, like, things happen, eventually, if you're like if you're not talking, you're listening, and if you listen long enough without speaking, eventually something will speak to you that nobody else can hear. That's that's the key, but it is kind of it's just like fasting. I was thinking about this earlier, like long bouts of silence in ways are like fasting, and where like you will be tempted, like devil show up and be like say something. I'm like,ah,oops. I almost said the N word, "Yo, I'm just saying this whole corner. It puts it in me. I'm like, hey. hey. I had out of sight, out of mine, but and it is out of sight, but it's not out of mine, cause it's so fucking loud all the time. I like, mm, I don't know how to fix this. apparently, like, apparently this is all myult. I don't know why I would do something like this. Like, I don't. I don't know why I would do something like this.C when I'm meditate, that's what that's what they say. They're like this is your fault. Fix it. I'm like Yo, but fit like like how, though. Like we all have to be on the same page in order for things to improve. How the fuck is that gonna happen? We are not all on the same page. We're in different pages and different books and different libraries. Oh, what the fuck is going on in that commercial? Jesus, I don't know. Jesus, I really don't know. I don't know. talk about my show. I wrote a show. I did. Where is that fucking rock at, is it in my pocket? I don't know.. that one creeps up. Anyway. I don't know which show. I wrote a lot of shows and I'm finding them as I'm digging through my documents, I decided to do the oldest ones first. So all the things that I originally wrote and it was crazy is I'm finding like my original stand-up comedy too. I didn't know I started writing comedy, that long ago. I'm not performing it. I'm sure if I read it enough times, I can recite it, but I'm not I'm not st I'm not doing it right now. I'm not doing hair and make it. I'm cool with the humiliation part. I'm over it. We bring it on. Bring on the bombs. Oh, oh, well, I think that joke about the Federal watch list will stay untrue, though. Like, if I seriously keep talking about all this shit, like somebody's good list to my show. and talk about bombs and shit. I'm not like, oh, man, it's so crazy. All this stuff and I'm still not like I'm just not as angry as like, it seems one would have to potential to be under all this, like, undue stress, you know? Like, if anything, it just goes the other way, I'm just like, the fuck it. Like, not fuck it, like I haven't given up, cause like giving up is I am kind of competitive in spirit. I won't just give up. like I might like take the like I might like pick my battles or take a back burner or like, I might let the motorcycles rip and run and I'm not recording, but like for the most part, that's just because I'm working in the back of my mind. like, for something that has a better outcome overall. I don't know I don't know how I can describe. It's like the weirdest I't I've never I think it's just like me. I think it's just like a coming of age because it's like I've never had this like straight up, calm anger. It's the weirdest thing. It's the weird it's like I can be like madder than I've ever been before, but like my whole body is just like calm, like graceful and just silent. And it's the weirdest thing cause it's not I' like my blood's not boiling. I'm just like, I'm angry, but it's like a deep anger that sits with God and God's like, I got it. I'm like, okay. Like, that's it. It's an overall calm. I'm like, you know. I was like whatever. I don't have time to cry about this. I don't have time. I have time to do this today. Why? Because Saturdays usually my my rest day in a work day. I'm doing lots of juice stuff, but Passover is coming over, so I gotta eat through the rest of these lentils.oof. Actually, Passover is kind of like, no, no, it's like in a month, three weeks, two weeks. So that so that I don't have anything else to say, there's so much enter the multiverse in here. enter the multiviverse legends. It's like the original shit. It's like I'm looking at the first things that were ever entered into the festival project before it was even called the Festival project. I'm looking at the origins of entered the multiverse. I haven't I don't think I've hit like legends yet, like, when it finally when it first turned a legends in the beginning, the beginning of legends, is crazy. I I decided, well, I decided a while ago, I shouldn't name drop more. I got like mad weird about like respecting people's like privacies and opinions. And since it is a fan fiction, like I just kind of like let it be like let the writing speak for itself or whatever, but there's a lot of cool shit in there. I don't I don't write bad parts. Like if I wrote anything into the festival project, like I wrote you a good part, bro. like, if you're a real actor, like if you if you're really like about it, or if you're a real comic, like if you're really about it, like, I don't write bad roles. Like there's no shitty roles, cause it's the multiverse, like like every character has like a multidimensional facet, which means there is not just like one character, there's like several sides to like any given character or several different dimensions that that character can exist in. And because it's entered the multiverse, you don't necessarily know which facet of that character is even that character. Like, are we talking to Dondrey? I don't know. Could just be like, John Ham could be John Hamish. I I said I wasn't gonna name drop. but I did I think I did I stumble on that one. I stumbled on a couple like full full length drafts of like early festival project stuff. I was like, oh. I was like John Ham by short. So he was John Hamish. But then it then had the twist later was that it was John Hamm, and he's short. I don't think that dude is short. I don't know, I don't think that dude is real. He's just on TV. It's just TV man. Yeah, that's what that's pretty much my take. I'm like, oh, you're in a screen. hello, TV, man. That's how I feel. about that? cause well, there's this uh there's this like ancient well, there's this ancient alien chak chill, who's like a mystic shape shape shifter that's been fucking shit up since the first season. And honestly, I think I wrote that before I ended up on her island, she has an island somewhere in the tropics. It's very it was it was a weird turn of events. I was like, oh, and then there was like this it was a lot. I had no idea at the time when I was writing about, had to do with like it coincided with like ancient human cultures. Like certain gods and like certain deities and like the like the Greeks and the Romans and like the Aztecs and the Mayans and like all these ancient civilizations. I was writing like about I was writing about incarnations of like those gods, but like now and then I didn't know until like later. until I did much more fasting and much more meditating and much more oops, how did I get here? I don't know. Fell asleep on the plane. That's it. I just fell asleep on the plane. Um, then, in a lot of ways I am kind of like my mom. And the devil is still the devil. I'm sure that's what that is, and like a lot of these episodes are too silly, so, I mean, like, I don't want to hand them into the judge to be like, well, well, actually, I have to give the judge a couple episodes. I have to, cause it's like, I'll be talking and then like that'll happen and I like more than five episodes, more than ten. Damn. And it's just like, well, I mean, like, at this point, it's a good thing cause it's like, I can't lose. Like, I am correct. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long, though, is that I kind of have this mentality of like, it could just be in my head. And then I listen to these recordings and I'm like, this is not in my head. No, something is definitely wrong here. Are my pancakes here yet? Nope, still on the way. I was connected to the Internet this whole time and turned that off for a second. I'm on a private server, but barely. in building Wi Fi, just don't just don't trust it, but then I was using a VPN and I was still getting hacked, like somebody was still hacking that server, so I had to switch the IP that I was using and I had to do it so often that it was actually eating up more time for me to do it that way than just to stay on my regular IP, which still requires me to get off and then on line. It's crazy. I'll like it. It's like, bro, like how much of an antagonist do you really have like, what am I to you that, like, you just have to be like, nope, we're gonna hack your shit. I'm like, for what, though? Like, if you just like, let me do whatever I do, like it's for the greater good of like any fucking human being that is a good human being. Like, like I'm not out here trying to fucking like hurt people or take anything away from anybody, which is the weirdest thing about it. Like, I don't understand how you can belong to like a hate group or like a hate organization, like, what are you hating? like evolution? Like,uh. Like, I don't I don't understand it. Like, okay, new age spirituality is one thing, but it's like, wokeness is bad. I'm like, what the fuck you mean wokeness is bad, bro. Like, wokeness just means you're not programmed, but then I guess there are a lot of robots. So I guess well, yeah, it is kind of something like the matrix a little bit. I don't know, I don't think I've seen it all the way through. What what do I got from the matrix? Um, lady and red dress. that's pretty much it. Lady in red dress and um nothing is real. Nothing's real anyway. I like it work nothing and everything infinitely, pretty much. is why I just don't give a fuck. I do. I give several well, I don't give them anymore. Geez, what a charitable person. I would be to give fucks. Like I care. Like, if I see somebody like outwardly, like not doing okay, I'm like, oh, like I I I typically don't stop anymore because I'm like, mm. I don't know about this, but I at least make sure somebody else is gonna like, I might slow in my path. If something is going, like weirdly, like, I won't I won't play the hero, cause it's just like a a mindset thing, you know? I'm like, oh, like I I'll at least make sure somebody else is gonna stop by and make sure things are cool. and I'm like, cool, that's good. That's good. like, as long as somebody's there, I'm just leave you lying in the street dead. Well, if you're dead, I probably will. I'll be like, well, somebody is eventually gonna pick that up right you? Yeah. Eventually. Maybe I don't know, man. I just I thought about this because I had to. Like my vessel is pure. I'm like, fuck yeah, bro. This like it's like one of those signs. It's like blank about of days without an incident. Like all the days, this is like factory reset, like, you know, refurbished. It's not brand fucking new, but it is refurbished. And I'm cool with that. I'm like, yeah, buddy, tell me what the fuck to do. Tell me the fuck to do or how to be or what's weird and what's not. I don't care. I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. I don't know, man. No. No. I refused. I'm like, it's cool. I might I don't know, I might like, take a I I might volunteer. I've been wanting to volunteer like aICU for a while, you know. A holding babies. holding babies is cool. It just has to be in an environment that's okay, we can talk about this video. Yeah, cause I have time. I have time. I got a fucking time so I'm make up this fucking well, I don't like to talk about the things that I've seen. It's true. like, it made me well, I mean, like they got me. I've been using a VPN and I'm on a private server and somehow they still knew that I would want to see Amy Poeer's podcasts. I did I was like oh shit. Amy Poler has a podcast and I don't think she's the poor man's Tina Fe. I think she's at least like, you know how did it go? It was like at least like the business class. No, it doesn't work. I'm like, yeah. it doesn't, though. I actually think they're more like that two headed thing that I was talking about the last episode. They're more of like an equal to. I can't have one without the other, to be honest, but here's the thing is even though I've been using a VPM. Well, I mean, like I'm a huge fan of Tina Fe, who's a god. I think I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I never heard her actual normal speaking voice. It took me that long to figure out I'd never seen an interview at Tina face, so am I really a fan? Well, I read the book three times. I feel like that's enough of a fan. Like, actually, I read it twice and then I went back for a reference, like a third time because something happened and I was like, oh shit. Did I not read about this in Tina F Fe's book? And so I picked it up again. It was like, you did. I do indeed keep it on the fucking same shelf with Keith Rich's book. I think I might have stated that sometime last season. I don't know why things in the actual, like things in the TV world, are seeming to correlate with my world, but then I know, like I'm a logical enough person to be like, well, that's grandiosity. As grandiosity did it think that in any way those two things might connect at all, like in reality, because like my world is over here. and that world is in TV. I don't know, I keep lighting candles. Anyway, but did I fucking see it? Oh, Amy Polar's podcast, which is like sponsored by what Toyota? That was crazy. I was like, holy fuck, bro. I was like, damn, this is this is high end. and of course, of course, the first fucking guest on her show is Tina F Fe, so I was like, oh, okay, like, yeah, even though I've been like under the radar, the algorithm is like, okay, you want to see this right? Because you're like a super fan. I was like, you shouldn't know that. I'm in incognito with the VPN on on a private server, but they were like, you'll you'll want to see this. I did want to see it and I had never heard Tina Fay speak with her normal speaking voice. I actually I didn't know she was that hot. I don't like it. I I want her to go back to regular Tina Fe where she's I mean like, okay, first it was like the the SNL reunion, right? She wore this like she wore a black velvet dress that I could die. That's that's what it was, wasn't it? It was a black velvet dress, and I was like, yo, I'm not a lesbian, by the way. like, especially not for Tit Fe. No, not especially, not like not like particularly not for Tina F Fe, but just like in general, not a lesbian, but this it's getting worse, okay? Well, I'm like, oh, I didn't know she was that hot. It pisses me off. I don't know why, but I was like, oh, I didn't know she was like sexy. That's weird. and that's weird as fuck. you know? Anyway, I might be less of a fan now. You can't be less of a fan after you read somebody's book three times. You can't. So, I don't know. I think it's just the fame game. She got like wait well, everybody got way more famous after the 50th anniversary of SNL. Like everybody's been making their rounds in the promotion circuit, so like everybody's super shiny. Everybody is super shiny. I'm like oh, dude, if I start nameropping people who I wrote parts for, I did. write parts for pretty much everybody that was on Amy Folder's podcast, except for that one lady, I knew nothing about. I I I don't want to start nameropping. I have too many I don't have questions. You know what? In fact, this is just putting on my fucking putting all my anxieties at rest, because I'm like, you know, I have shit to do. Like, I have shit to do. That is in I mean, like it's in the same realm, but again, it would be grandiose to think that the synchronicities have any actually correlation to like things that well, I have been writing this plot for like five, six years. It's been a while. And Liz Lemon and well, yeah, it was the it was the Amy Poler Tina F Fe combination, because now I have to put Amy's name first, because it's it's kind of like, I don't know, it breaks my heart. I didn't think I didn't know people put her on like a different level than Tina Fe, because I've always seen those two as like, you can't you can't have bread without butter. That's weird. Like you can if you're vegan, but you at least need a butter substitute or like olive oil, like, you don't have one without the other. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't. If you see one, then you think about the other, and they they're on screen dynamic is now'm gushing, I'm fan growing a lot, because I'm like, oh, well, also like, I don't know, I took a step back from Ryder's world because I'm thinking about like, okay, who are the other Tina Fe fans? And I did go to a taping of the Drewberry Marsh show and I found myself to be not common among the demographic that watches that show. I'm not I'm not common in any of the demographics. I watch a lot of late night television, too. And that is a scary demographic. I won't lie. late night TV. m mm, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. test in the waters. I'm feeling like it's a bit chilly. Either way, I watch a lot of like old people, old upper class, business business class, business class people, TV. But Tina Fay, that bitch white collar, excuse me, I didn't mean to call her bitch, but at the same time, I'm like like that's okay. I don't know. I never saw her offscreen enough to actually put that together. I I that scared me. Now I understand why I guess she intimidates people. I could understand that. She seems kind of intimidating. Like it's a running joke in that circle that it's like, oh, she's kind of a scary person. And I was like, what's so scary about Tina Fe? I read a book like two and a half times, like, what can be so scary about those person? And then I saw her on Amy Poeer's podcast and I was like, oh, like, yeah, she's kind of fucking scary. Like, just a lot, just a lot. I don't know. I get it now. I'm like, oh, I'd better leave that alone, because I'm thinking about like the realm where Tina Fe is god, which is an actual place, like on earth in the TV and out of it, like all of the writers that like grew up with her as headwrider on usNL and then later as the was she the executive producer ofirty Rock? Eventually I think so. Either way, as Lizimman and the producer, that's crazy doesn't like that that's like mad, that's like all the way, that's doing the whole thing. That's the whole thing. That's all you can that's it. That's nuts. So I'm thinking about all the writers like all the female writers that grew up with her as god, and I'm thinking about myself in this pool, and I'm thinking about how is I'm like, oh, I'm I I don't have that much competitiveness left inside of me. I really don't think like the more I find out about actual like, well, actually that's why I didn't go into it when I was a kid. I've been writing screenplays since I was seven, but when it came down to it, I didn't like the I didn't like the culture of it. There was a lot of nepotism and there was a lot of favoritism and there was a lot of racism. and sexism, but like all those first things I said and then the last thing was just kind of like the nail on the hammer. Is that what no, yeah, nail on hammer, hammer on nail? it just did it for me, so I went into theater instead, which was the same and then I left. I was like, I don't wanna be here. It hurts, it does. But now I'm like, oh, well, I guess things have changed, but now things have changed too much. Now the diversity is like really diverse.. Now everybody's everything and everybody's represented, and I'm like, oh, dude, like, I'm going offend some people. Like, I have to be able to draw dicks on things, or at least appreciate dicks drawn on things. Or just not say anything about it, but you know, like, I don't I don't know. The new culture is like a lot about making big deals about things to me that are not big deals, or like the the culture and the world for theater that I came from, those were not things. Anyway, uh I saw this. What what what was I talking oh, cause cause enter the multiverse has something to do with it, but not really, but yes, really, but also, I don't know, I just got nervous cause I hate fan grilling. What was the point? Oh, she wore this fucking black dress. at the SNL thing and thing. and then I was like, oh shit, like, if anything, I just gotta keep eating salads cause I want to wear that dress exactly, and I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna shave off like three inches of height. But eventually I will be like ballerina petite like te Fe and then, you know, I'm I'm gonna buy that black dress at auction. I don't know. I'm still I still want Johnny Carson's curtains, so yeah, eventually, I'm gonna be that much of a fucking fan girl. I want these curtains, and this dress, what else would I buy? Add at an auction, if a fan growing auction? Oh, yeah. I'm still not ready to talk about it. I can't, I really. I can't do it. I can't do it. This guy shows up in my dreams. He's just around. I can't I don't know, that's a lot of purchasing power. It is a lot. Yeah, we will we'll skip that. What else? ah, she wore that black dress and I was like, damn. She's kind of hot, but then when she went on Amy Poker's podcast and they talked about, I don't know, I kept drifting off. I I did. I don't know what the fuck they said, but I was like damn, is that her speaking voice? And like just for just so you don't have to watch it, like just for reference, it's like Beyoncé speaking voice is like like an octave lower than what you've seen. It's weird. I also love Beyoncé, h? Just a fan girl. that's what I am, so I want that black dress, but then I think we were all kind of on the same wave because Bob the drag queen wore a velvet black dress to the queries. Is that a thing? It's like the queerves I think it's called. I didn't know this was a thing, and now I'm upset cause it's like why was't I invited? at the same time I'm not queer I like I don't I don't know what I am. I don't care. I just don't touch me. Especially if you probably am as fucking gross, haatitis sea, herpes, statistically, if you're in a roomful of people, somebody has one of those things. Somebody has one of those things. mm. No, no, no, no. No. No, my God. Oh, that's what I was saying in the last episode. I was thinking about EDC. I was thinking about EDC in this weird voice, yeah, I'm changing the subject. Black velvet dresses, all the rage. I have one. It is not to go out in public in. She's bouncing around my house, like I owe somebody something. That's what that dress is for. It's not for presenting talk shows or fucking award shows. It's not it's not for it's not a presentable it's it's not even appropriate for me to just wear in my house alone, honestly. It's really not. Nothing. Never mind. What was I about to say Bob the drag Queen? I haven't even watched the video. I just saw the dress and I'm like, you know what? Like that is, yeah. Do I talk about it? Do I? Well, I'm supposed to be promoting this tears of a clown. It's not done yet. So, and technically, I can't until it's out. I actually cannot. I can't talk about tears of clown because it's got some it's got some stuff in it. I can't I can't say anything about itt it's out. That, you know what it might just hit the platform. I don't know, I don't know if that's gonna be out. We'll see. We'll see, because I'm taking my time on it, and this is one of those industries where it's like, bro, you don't have time. Like, you really it should have been out yesterday. I'm like, it's yeah, yeah. But I I have enough music forever. Like, there's no like I I've been thinking about deleting everything. At the same time, I keep using samples that are recorded like five years ago and being like C, like there is no well, that's an exaggeration. No, I I literally took a sample of some sirens, like close to five years ago. I just I used that every now and again if I want some texture in my shit, cause no matter where I go, something's going down. It's always got it's like always something. And then it seems like if I don't write it down, I'm at a loss. Like crazy shit goes down and it can be crazy, but if I just let it go, then I lost something. like, I don't I can't call myself an entertainer. I'm mostly just like a fan girl type deal. What was the next thing? I can't oh, EDC. I lost my train of thought because I got I was thinking about that little old man who almost could not even move. Why are you out, bro? Who, like, where did you feel why? I think I don't know, it' probably a point of pride, that little old man was like, I can do it on my own. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die in the street, over my walker. I'm like,Yo, do, that's today. he was so old anyway, I got fixated on that story from the last episode. I didn't finish the other story about how this voice in my head was like, you're gonna be at neon Garden at ADC. and I like it like deflated me. I was like, what? Because I want to be in the baseball pod. That's where I want to be. and I was like, what neon garden that's shitty. not shitty because like if you're playing like I could play an art car. I could play the hot dog stand and I would be happy, just let me play you. And fucking this um this voice in my head was like you're gonna be in the neon guard, and I was like, what? I don't even know who plays there because like, yo, okay, baseball. Like you I could pretty much name an artist for like every major stage at EDC, but I was like, neon Garden. what what the fuck is in the neon garden? What the fuck is in the neon garden? And and then I was like doing research for rarity, which is an EDC based concept album that has a track for every stage, every major stage, because there's like hundreds of little tiny little art cars and like tents and pop ups. It's cool. It's a cool place. I wish I could go back there. As an artist, cause to go after having learned DJing and producing is just like I would only wanna go with my best friend. And she did not respond in time and then EDC sold out. So, I was like, okay, well, whatever was I just saying, oh, neon Gardner I was like, neon Gard, you know that dumb. I don't want to be in the neon garden and then like I was doing research for like rarity and I was like, what let's see about this neon garden and like the description fit my music almost entirely. And I was like, oh, because it was like this is what you'll find in the neon garden. And I pretty much could have copied and pasted that entire paragraph into my artist bio and it would have been relevant to my music. I was like oh yeah have a neon garden, but I really want to play baseball. That's really where I want to play and where else if I if I what's that what's the Oh, it's it's slipping right now. It's not circuit grouse. It's circuit grounds is kind of cool. It took me two EDCs to find where the front is. It is confusing, and there is no front of that. Well, I mean, like it's technically there are a couple stages that like insomniac festivals where it's like the front is actually like the middle. So you think you're going to the front of the fucking stage, or you think you're going like, near the DJ, but since it's surrounds sound, you really just going like adjacent to the DJ and then, like towards another like corner, like, how do I hit the back three times and never the front? That was my experience with circuit girls. I was like, where is the front? nowhere. It is, but it's just in a weird spot. And it also depends how many people are around, like it'll definitely disorient you. If you why am I like doing it advertisement? Because I love EDC. Like I said, if I love the product, you don't really have to pay me anything to fucking promote your shit. like in like peloton, like Peloton is gonna have to send me a cease andhesist, like stop talking about us in order to make me stop. Like they're gonna have to pay me to stop telling people like get a pelotone. get one. I'm like, do that. It is the best. like, I always feel better, like, five minutes on the peloton, I feel better. 20 minutes on the peloton, I feel better, but an hour, I'm flying. I'm like bro, I just I just went like 10 miles in my apartment. like, I'm on one. Like my treadmill stutters, but my pelotone is mway, what the fuck was I saying? Oh, EDC? Also, well, as long as they don't sell out the VIP anymore, but I doubt that, if the whole thing is sold out, like, like you can upgrade two VIP when you g

Sione Fukofuka, a newbie to being introduced via a jingle! BONUS EPISODE: US Rugby Happy Hour LIVE Intro Jingles! For Season 5, Episode 4, USA Women's Head Coach, Sione Fukofuka is introduced with this gem… also, Sione has never been introduced this way! A good thing? Maybe… Listen to our interview with Sione and Wendy Young on the latest up and coming USA Women's Eagle stars. LYRICS: To him, coming on this show doesn't phase. From Brisbane to Colorado, his American adventure continues to amaze.  A loose head prop in his day, at least, that's what Wikipedia had to say.  (Who knows?) It's a Rugby World Cup Year What does he have in store for Eagle's opponents to fear. (Kick ass!) Freshly running from a forest fire, A middle of the night escape. But now safe at home, in the snowy hills of his adopted state. (oh good!) Let's give a big “Guh'day mate” To U-S-A Women's Rugby Head coach See-own-ee Foo-koh-foo-kah (Go Eagles!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this 1600th episode of Toronto Mike'd, Mike learns everything there is to know about GUH from Blake Howard, Andrew Henry, and Jason Clarke. Toronto Mike'd is proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery, Palma Pasta, Ridley Funeral Home, The Yes We Are Open podcast from Moneris and RecycleMyElectronics.ca. If you would like to support the show, we do have partner opportunities available. Please email Toronto Mike at mike@torontomike.com

(00:00-23:20) – Query & Company opens on a Thursday with Jake Query, Jimmy Cook, and producer Eddie Garrison discussing the eighth consecutive road loss for the Indiana Pacers. They try to pinpoint why the team is struggling on the road and if it is time to start having a conversation about resting Tyrese Haliburton. (23:20-40:03) – Former Indiana Hoosier and NFL running back, Tevin Coleman, joins Query & Company to discuss the season that his alma mater is having this season in Curt Cignetti's first season, what it means to see Memorial Stadium packed this season compared to how empty it was when he was a player at IU, and his partnership with Abbott and the Big Ten to help encourage people to donate blood in a friendly competition with the rest of the schools in the Big Ten that coincides with the Big Ten Championship game. (40:03-44:47) – Jake closes out the first hour of the show by sharing a story about Ice Cube with listeners texting him saying that Tevin Coleman sounded like Ice Cube. It also leads to Jake telling a story about a gal he was seeing during his time in New York.   (44:47-1:08:11) – NFL.com's Eric Edholm joins Jake Query and Jimmy Cook to explains why he has the Indianapolis Colts ranked 17th in his latest power rankings, admits that Anthony Richardson and Bryce Young have been totally different QB's since returning from being benched, examines which team has the widest range of outcomes on how its season could end and a team that feels like is about to bottom out, and previews tonight's Thursday Night Football game between the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions. (1:08:11-1:20:07) – Following their conversation with Eric Edholm, the guys look at the NFL schedule for this week. They rank some of the matchups this week on Jake's “GUH” scale. (1:20:07-1:32:05) – Hour two of the program concludes with Jake, Jimmy, and Eddie revisiting their conversation from earlier in the show about the Indiana Pacers. (1:32:05-1:56:31) – Tony East from Locked On Pacers and Forbes Sports joins the program briefly to discuss the road struggles for the Indiana Pacers before the phones go haywire. Jake and Jimmy continue the Pacers discussion by talking about Rick Carlisle briefly. They debate with Eddie about the lack of consistency from game to game as to how minutes are being allocated. (1:56:31-2:07:02) – Last night Jake observed the Marian Knights game against the Taylor Trojans. He shares what he learned from watching Pat Knight's team in their loss to Taylor. Additionally, he discusses if he's prepared now to witness the Silent Night game tomorrow! (2:07:02-2:15:05) – Today's show ends with the JCook Plays of the Day!Support the show: https://1075thefan.com/query-and-company/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guh leh Tang a ding a tan huai an nam te // Health talk.Kawikawi + Gam vang la a om // Chin Gospel Songs.

https://linktr.ee/scrubmode Today we're talking about monster worms such as the Grick, the Purple Worm and the Remorhaz. Then we look at some worm-like cryptids, including a heavy-hitter: The Mongolian. Death. Worm. Plus other worm monsters like the Indus Worm and the Guh. Other talking points include brain worms, the Saw franchise, velvet worms and the Alaskan. Bull. Worm. Sources https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/mongolian-death-worm https://web.archive.org/web/20100526160025/http://www.deathworm2009.com/?p=245 https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4344 https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Were-worms https://mongolianstore.com/mongolian-death-worm/ https://abookofcreatures.com/2016/10/03/indus-worm/ https://www.theoi.com/Thaumasios/WormsIndos.html Cryptozoology A To Z: The Encyclopedia of Loch Monsters, Sasquatch, Chupacabras, and Other Authentic Mysteries of Nature Paperback by Loren Coleman Jerome Clark https://cryptidarchives.fandom.com/wiki/Guh https://archive.org/details/myoldpeoplesayet0000mccl/page/n3/mode/2up?view=theater

College girl has to move home and makes a risky decision.Based on a post by Baztrachian, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.Kelsey had been doing pretty good after graduating from junior college. She’d landed a decent job with a promising California company two years prior and she’d been dating a coworker and that was looking good too. The tall and slim redhead fit in well with the Silicon Valley fashion scene and she rather enjoyed being able to pull off some of the more interesting styles. Back at home she was just called ‘skinny’.Then the state government made some arbitrary environmental rules about some random thing and the next thing she knew her potential boyfriend was gone and she was out of a job. The possibilities of another job were remote as every firm in her field of expertise was either in retreat or facing bankruptcy.The paltry savings she had didn’t last long, and all too soon she had to give her car back to the bank, vacate her apartment, and then catch a bus to her mother’s new place in Newton County, Arkansas. As the long ride home took days, Kelsey had too much time to lament her current state. The seat which seemed tolerable for the first few hours, proved intolerable for the first long night. She had to transfer busses in LA. Five hours later, her next bus departed for along journey thru Arizona, then New Mexico and the Rio Grande region. She finally quit trying to sleep. It took four hours waiting in the Dallas station, from 3am to 7am, before she could board her 3rd bus; to travel thru Oklahoma. By the time she transferred to her 4th bus, in Tulsa, she was a complete zombie and every joint in her body was in pain. 54 arduous hours after leaving Silicon Valley, she was dumped off in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Her mother's warm hug greeted her. As the two women loaded Kelsey's bags into the truck bed, an onlooker might not recognize which of the two women was younger looking.Shauna was in her forties, but healthy living and environment kept her complexion and body quite youthful. The mother's peaceful countenance was therapeutic to a young Kelsey, whose anxieties were raging.Newton County is in the Ozarks and actual towns are not really a thing there. “Root Hollow” was the unofficial name of the place where her mom, Shauna, landed after her divorce from Kelsey’s father. It wasn’t far from what was called the Ozark Grand Canyon so it was definitely beautiful even though few people lived there.When Kelsey finally made it to Shauna’s place, she walked up the steps and was greeted by a big man who was sitting on the porch.“Howdy, you must be Kelsey! I’m Jim!” he said as he stood up and went towards her.Kelsey figured this was her mom’s boyfriend she’d heard about.“Hi!” she smiled and held out her hand.The big man smiled and gathered her up in a bear hug. “Your momma told me you’d be along. She didn’t tell me how pretty you were, though.”He said this in all sincerity and Kelsey didn’t mind. Kelsey felt anything but ‘pretty'.Jim helped her get her two bags into a spare bedroom and then he got Kelsey a tall glass of iced tea. Sweet tea, really.They sat and chatted for a couple hours and Kelsey got to hear all about how Jim and Shauna met at the Kroger grocery store where Jim supervised the warehouse. He was gregarious and friendly and Kelsey saw what her mother liked about him. He was the polar opposite of Kelsey’s stern, disciplinarian father.Shauna got up after she finished her version of the relationship. Kelsey was still quiet, but the ibuprofen was helping her joints recover from the 54 hour bus ride.Jim added the facts that he would have added to Shauna's narrative, then he explained the male rationale for the actions Shauna found humorous in the early days of their romance.Then Shauna announced that dinner was made. The evening conversation was incredibly pleasant and Kelsey saw even more of what her mother liked about Jim.After the evening was over, the couple retreated to their bedroom and Kelsey retreated to hers. The cool early fall air wafted in through the bedroom window guaranteeing Kelsey a comfortable sleep.During the night she heard a rhythmic sound and it woke her up. She also heard her mother’s whispered voice. Between the thin walls and the dead quiet of the night Kelsey realized that her mother was getting fucked by Jim.Even though she understood that her mother had moved on from an unhappy marriage it was still significant to her that Shauna was fucking someone other than Kelsey’s father. And from the sound of it, Shauna was enjoying herself. After some time Kelsey could hear the two lovers reach their peak and then it was quiet again.Jim was up and out the door for work well before sunrise.In the morning, Kelsey and Shauna were making small talk over breakfast when Kelsey decided to 'go there’.“I heard you and Jim last night.” she said to her mom.“I suppose you did.”“Are you happy with him?” asked Kelsey.“I am. He’s a good man and he’s good for me. He’s also a hell of a lot better in bed than your father ever was.”“Momma!” said a shocked Kelsey.Shauna laughed, “I didn’t become a nun after your father and me broke up. But I will say your father was pretty cold and there were times he made me wish I’d been a nun.”“Are you going to marry him?”Shauna sipped her coffee. “I don’t know. It’s not a big priority really. I mean I been married, right? Now, maybe I want to not be married.”Shauna put the coffee down. “We might even try for a baby.”“Wow.” was all the response Kelsey could muster.Kelsey considered that she’d been born to her mother at an early age so her mother’s baby years weren’t past her yet. And Jim was a couple or a few years younger than Shauna. It was a possibility.She decided she liked the idea of having a sibling. Even one twenty-two years younger than herself.That night when everyone had gone to bed Kelsey found herself thinking about Shauna and Jim in the next room. She was just starting to feel herself slipping off into a slumber when she heard activity from the next bedroom.When the rhythmic sound started up she imagined Jim fucking her mother and mating with her. He was trying to get Shauna pregnant. Somehow that was arousing to Kelsey and she absently fingered her pussy as the tempo from the next room increased.“Guh!” she heard Jim growl and she knew he was cumming in Shauna.The next day saw Shauna going to the Kroger to apply for a job. She’d hitched a ride with a neighbor and figured on riding back with Jim.Things were getting hard even for Kroger’s and Kelsey was told they’d keep her application on file in case something opened up.On the way home Jim tried to cheer her up and Kelsey caught herself looking in the direction of the man’s crotch as he talked and drove. She wondered at the fact that his cock had been inside of her mother. She imagined it stroking in and out, and then spurting seed into Shauna’s womb.“Hey, you awake?” asked Jim, stirring her from her reverie.“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry, just lost in thought.”He patted her back, “I understand. But don’t worry, you’ll find something to do soon enough, I’m sure.”Except she didn’t. The economy was in a slide and tourism was off and that was the main money maker in Newton County. In short, no one was hiring.Over the next couple months Kelsey kept looking for work and along the way she did the occasional odd job like cleaning for someone or helping at a local egg farm. It wasn’t big money but it was enough to keep her wallet from going empty.Also over the next couple months Kelsey found herself listening to Jim and Shauna almost every night. She’d masturbate along with the sounds from the next room and then try to keep quiet when she’d orgasm. One night in November she failed to do that and the sudden silence in the room next door told her she’d been caught.The next morning Jim was gone and she and her mom sat to chat.“We heard you last night.” said her mom.“Aw, shit, ” replied Kelsey.“No, it’s okay. Nothing to be ashamed of. We both understand. You’re young, you need a man, and Root Hollow ain’t exactly the best place to meet anyone.”There was a brief silence to digest the sizable facts that were now out in the open.“You’re embarrassed.” said her mom.“No, I’m, I’m, sorry.” Kelsey just couldn’t find any other words.“Well, me and Jim we talked and if you ever want to give him a go then we’d both be okay with it.”“Momma! But he’s your boyfriend!”Her mom smiled, “Yeah, but he ain’t my husband and that kind of makes it okay. Or maybe not so bad. One of those for sure.”Shauna stood up, “Well, I got things to do. You think about what I said and if it ever comes up then that’s fine. If it doesn’t then that’s fine too. Either way we’ll leave this here at the table, okay?”“Yes, ma'am.” replied Kelsey.Of course, this changed nothing at night when Kelsey would have to hear her mother getting fucked in the next room. Kelsey masturbated sometimes but the satisfaction started to feel empty.Not long before Christmas Shauna announced that Kelsey was going to have a baby brother or baby sister.Kelsey saw Jim looking at her while he hugged Shauna. His smile was understated and she could sense his thoughts.Christmas Eve was when Kelsey’s family had always opened presents and so after dinner that night the trio gathered around their modest tree. Kelsey gave presents to Jim and to Shauna. Jim gave presents to Shauna and Kelsey.Shauna however said that her present to both of them would come later.When it was time for bed the trio went their different directions.Shauna's Gift-giving.But about fifteen minutes after Kelsey got to bed she woke up with her mom gently shaking her shoulder.“What is it?” she asked.“I want to sleep in here tonight.” said Shauna.Kelsey sat up a bit, “In here? With me? This isn’t that big a bed, momma.”Shauna shook her head, “No, Just me.”Kelsey was still half asleep and not grasping the idea. “Then where do I sleep?”Shauna smiled, “With Jim. He’s waiting for you. I’m giving him to you and I gave you to him.”“Holy shit, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”Shauna stood up and took off her robe. She was naked under the robe, which was how she would sleep with Jim most nights.“You can use my robe if you want.”“What?” asked Kelsey.“Get naked, put the robe on, and go in there. You know you need it. And Jim is a good man and he’ll treat you right. Beats the hell out of lying in here all the time and rubbing it out like you do.”“Momma!”“Don’t 'momma’ me, go on. Git.”Shauna pulled back the blankets and had Kelsey stand up. Kelsey had serious misgivings but at the same time she also wanted to get laid. She’d been thinking about sex with Jim so much that she found herself somewhat smitten with the older man. It was wrong in so many ways, but at the same time Jim was the only man around. There weren’t a lot of other options for Kelsey, if she wanted to enjoy some masculine attention.Still, it took some cajoling for Shauna to get Kelsey out of her pajamas and into the robe. Then she ushered Kelsey to the bedroom door.“Go.” she said, pushing Kelsey out the door and shutting it.Kelsey was alone in the hallway. The two bedroom doors were closed. She thought about what her mother was offering to her and a cavalcade of worries and desires ran rampant in her brain.Going out to the kitchen she pulled down the bottle of bourbon and poured herself a shot. Not a lot, just a shot to settle her nerves. That was her rational reasoning, But truly, she knew the liquor would loosen up her inhibitions and allow her to accept her mother's selfless gift.Sitting down on the couch she sipped at the bourbon while scenarios of pleasure and consequence ran through her head. She wasn’t worried about her relationship with Shauna, because this was just like Shauna, to have a wildly pragmatic solution to a touchy problem.Kelsey wondered what the immediate future would be like if she went through with this. The shot of bourbon tipped up and emptied into her mouth on that thought. She swirled it around and let it burn her mouth before she swallowed. It felt good.She got up and put the shot glass on the kitchen counter. Standing there for a while she considered sleeping on the couch.“Fuck it.” she finally whispered.Walking to the hallway she opened the other bedroom door and let herself into the dark room. The moonlight cast a soft glow upon the bed, where her mother had drawn the covers back. She could hear the sound of someone snoozing. She eased out of the robe, neatly folded it, and put it on the dresser. Her naked body tingled from the coolness of the winter night. Her nipples stiffened and extended.And then she got into the bed opposite of Jim, with her body facing the nightstand.A moment later, his breathing softened and she felt the bed move as he rolled to face her. His big arm wrapped around her and pulled her close.“I figured you’d come back to bed.” he whispered. His hand moved to Kelsey’s tight belly and she felt him pause.“Kelsey?”“Yeah.” she replied.“Well now.” he said. “When Shauna came up with this idea I didn’t expect you’d go along with it.”“I wasn’t sure.” she said.“Can’t say I’m disappointed. Been wanting for you in this bed for a while now. Kinda hard seeing you in this house all the time, looking so nice and tempting.”Kelsey had never heard Jim speak like this before. She felt his cock firming up against her back as he held her close.“This ain’t your first time, is it?”“No.” she admitted.“Good.” he said as he pulled her onto her back. “Then you know how things work.” She was on her back and he was on his side to her. Her thigh was tucked between his legs and she felt his warm cock twitching.She found herself looking up at his face as he looked down at hers. He kissed her forehead before kissing her on each cheek. His hand wandered over her belly and she caught her breath as he explored her modest tits.And then he kissed her.Maybe it was the bourbon, but she kissed him back. She felt him start to move with her and the hand that had been on her tits moved down between her legs. He nudged her legs apart and sought her crevice.His middle finger found her folds and then quickly slipped inside to get her warmed up. She’d done this to herself so many times that she immediately responded to him.She heard herself make a pleasured sound. It seemed so far away.One of his legs got further between hers. He kissed her again and then moved down to kiss her long, graceful neck.It was all moving so fast!“Slow down.” she whispered.“Sure.” he said, and then fumbled with her legs and at the same time he moved between them. He kissed her neck as he laid his chest down gently on just her tits.She felt his cock touch her pussy.“Touch it.” he whispered to her.“No, ” she shook her head, “I’m not, ”“Touch it.” he said more insistently, lifting himself up as he said this.She reached her delicate hand down between them and lightly touched it. It was warm and it bounced a little. She tried to fight off the urge and then fully grasped it. It was long but not too thick. It was longer than her boyfriend’s cock was, that was for sure.'I’m with a man’ she thought to herself.Jim moved to press his cock towards Kelsey’s pussy.“Please, I’m not sure.” she whispered.She felt him relax and she pulled her hand away from his shaft. He adjusted her arms so they were above his elbows. Her hands naturally moved to his shoulders and she felt his strength. He was solid. She could feel some scars. She knew Jim wasn’t any city boy who spent an hour in the gym every day. No, Jim got this way from a lifetime of hard work. She realized that he was a totally different breed of male from what she was accustomed to.His groin moved against hers.“Please.” she asked again.“Second thoughts?” he asked.“Yes.” she said this with an air of relief.“Gimme a kiss and we’ll take care of those second thoughts for you.”She obliged and kissed him. His tongue tangled with her own and she was lost in the sensation as she felt his lower body move against her own.“Hmm!” was her stifled protest as the head of his cock parted her pussy lips and plowed her furrow.Her legs tensed and in an ages-old feminine mistake she tried to use the soles of her feet to push him away. Instead the flower of her pussy opened up and welcomed him in.She felt her arousal coming up as he steadily thrust into her body. She’d been holding back but now the feeling of his cock starting to penetrate her pussy, was triggering her animal instincts.He broke their kiss.“Jim, oh,” she said as he thrust more of his cock into her,“Oh my, ” he thrust a little deeper,“should stop,”He moved his knees up a bit, and the new position let him slip all the way into her.“Oh, my God this feels so good!” she said out loud, as he started to fuck her.Kelsey was still well aware of her second thoughts and misgivings but for the first time in a long time she had a cock in her body and she was getting what she needed.Jim fucked her, nice and deep, and in a steady rhythm, just like he did with her mother. She felt his cock rub the top of her wet canal, and awaken her carnal desires. Jim was a real man. Not a West Coast metrosexual. His body celebrated masculinity rather than apologize for its toxicity.Kelsey imagined all those nights her mother had been in this same position with that same cock buried in her pussy, pumping away and pleasuring her.She was unaware that her legs were now spread wide and her raised up like a goalpost. She felt Jim’s heavy balls bouncing against her upturned ass as he fucked her. She imagined herself with the big man between her legs, fucking her. It seemed sexier to think of him fucking her instead of making love. Her body was celebrating, even if her mind was still confused.Kelsey imagined Shauna feeling his cock plowing in and out of her, trying to

College girl has to move home and makes a risky decision.Based on a post by Baztrachian, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.Kelsey had been doing pretty good after graduating from junior college. She’d landed a decent job with a promising California company two years prior and she’d been dating a coworker and that was looking good too. The tall and slim redhead fit in well with the Silicon Valley fashion scene and she rather enjoyed being able to pull off some of the more interesting styles. Back at home she was just called ‘skinny’.Then the state government made some arbitrary environmental rules about some random thing and the next thing she knew her potential boyfriend was gone and she was out of a job. The possibilities of another job were remote as every firm in her field of expertise was either in retreat or facing bankruptcy.The paltry savings she had didn’t last long, and all too soon she had to give her car back to the bank, vacate her apartment, and then catch a bus to her mother’s new place in Newton County, Arkansas. As the long ride home took days, Kelsey had too much time to lament her current state. The seat which seemed tolerable for the first few hours, proved intolerable for the first long night. She had to transfer busses in LA. Five hours later, her next bus departed for along journey thru Arizona, then New Mexico and the Rio Grande region. She finally quit trying to sleep. It took four hours waiting in the Dallas station, from 3am to 7am, before she could board her 3rd bus; to travel thru Oklahoma. By the time she transferred to her 4th bus, in Tulsa, she was a complete zombie and every joint in her body was in pain. 54 arduous hours after leaving Silicon Valley, she was dumped off in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Her mother's warm hug greeted her. As the two women loaded Kelsey's bags into the truck bed, an onlooker might not recognize which of the two women was younger looking.Shauna was in her forties, but healthy living and environment kept her complexion and body quite youthful. The mother's peaceful countenance was therapeutic to a young Kelsey, whose anxieties were raging.Newton County is in the Ozarks and actual towns are not really a thing there. “Root Hollow” was the unofficial name of the place where her mom, Shauna, landed after her divorce from Kelsey’s father. It wasn’t far from what was called the Ozark Grand Canyon so it was definitely beautiful even though few people lived there.When Kelsey finally made it to Shauna’s place, she walked up the steps and was greeted by a big man who was sitting on the porch.“Howdy, you must be Kelsey! I’m Jim!” he said as he stood up and went towards her.Kelsey figured this was her mom’s boyfriend she’d heard about.“Hi!” she smiled and held out her hand.The big man smiled and gathered her up in a bear hug. “Your momma told me you’d be along. She didn’t tell me how pretty you were, though.”He said this in all sincerity and Kelsey didn’t mind. Kelsey felt anything but ‘pretty'.Jim helped her get her two bags into a spare bedroom and then he got Kelsey a tall glass of iced tea. Sweet tea, really.They sat and chatted for a couple hours and Kelsey got to hear all about how Jim and Shauna met at the Kroger grocery store where Jim supervised the warehouse. He was gregarious and friendly and Kelsey saw what her mother liked about him. He was the polar opposite of Kelsey’s stern, disciplinarian father.Shauna got up after she finished her version of the relationship. Kelsey was still quiet, but the ibuprofen was helping her joints recover from the 54 hour bus ride.Jim added the facts that he would have added to Shauna's narrative, then he explained the male rationale for the actions Shauna found humorous in the early days of their romance.Then Shauna announced that dinner was made. The evening conversation was incredibly pleasant and Kelsey saw even more of what her mother liked about Jim.After the evening was over, the couple retreated to their bedroom and Kelsey retreated to hers. The cool early fall air wafted in through the bedroom window guaranteeing Kelsey a comfortable sleep.During the night she heard a rhythmic sound and it woke her up. She also heard her mother’s whispered voice. Between the thin walls and the dead quiet of the night Kelsey realized that her mother was getting fucked by Jim.Even though she understood that her mother had moved on from an unhappy marriage it was still significant to her that Shauna was fucking someone other than Kelsey’s father. And from the sound of it, Shauna was enjoying herself. After some time Kelsey could hear the two lovers reach their peak and then it was quiet again.Jim was up and out the door for work well before sunrise.In the morning, Kelsey and Shauna were making small talk over breakfast when Kelsey decided to 'go there’.“I heard you and Jim last night.” she said to her mom.“I suppose you did.”“Are you happy with him?” asked Kelsey.“I am. He’s a good man and he’s good for me. He’s also a hell of a lot better in bed than your father ever was.”“Momma!” said a shocked Kelsey.Shauna laughed, “I didn’t become a nun after your father and me broke up. But I will say your father was pretty cold and there were times he made me wish I’d been a nun.”“Are you going to marry him?”Shauna sipped her coffee. “I don’t know. It’s not a big priority really. I mean I been married, right? Now, maybe I want to not be married.”Shauna put the coffee down. “We might even try for a baby.”“Wow.” was all the response Kelsey could muster.Kelsey considered that she’d been born to her mother at an early age so her mother’s baby years weren’t past her yet. And Jim was a couple or a few years younger than Shauna. It was a possibility.She decided she liked the idea of having a sibling. Even one twenty-two years younger than herself.That night when everyone had gone to bed Kelsey found herself thinking about Shauna and Jim in the next room. She was just starting to feel herself slipping off into a slumber when she heard activity from the next bedroom.When the rhythmic sound started up she imagined Jim fucking her mother and mating with her. He was trying to get Shauna pregnant. Somehow that was arousing to Kelsey and she absently fingered her pussy as the tempo from the next room increased.“Guh!” she heard Jim growl and she knew he was cumming in Shauna.The next day saw Shauna going to the Kroger to apply for a job. She’d hitched a ride with a neighbor and figured on riding back with Jim.Things were getting hard even for Kroger’s and Kelsey was told they’d keep her application on file in case something opened up.On the way home Jim tried to cheer her up and Kelsey caught herself looking in the direction of the man’s crotch as he talked and drove. She wondered at the fact that his cock had been inside of her mother. She imagined it stroking in and out, and then spurting seed into Shauna’s womb.“Hey, you awake?” asked Jim, stirring her from her reverie.“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry, just lost in thought.”He patted her back, “I understand. But don’t worry, you’ll find something to do soon enough, I’m sure.”Except she didn’t. The economy was in a slide and tourism was off and that was the main money maker in Newton County. In short, no one was hiring.Over the next couple months Kelsey kept looking for work and along the way she did the occasional odd job like cleaning for someone or helping at a local egg farm. It wasn’t big money but it was enough to keep her wallet from going empty.Also over the next couple months Kelsey found herself listening to Jim and Shauna almost every night. She’d masturbate along with the sounds from the next room and then try to keep quiet when she’d orgasm. One night in November she failed to do that and the sudden silence in the room next door told her she’d been caught.The next morning Jim was gone and she and her mom sat to chat.“We heard you last night.” said her mom.“Aw, shit, ” replied Kelsey.“No, it’s okay. Nothing to be ashamed of. We both understand. You’re young, you need a man, and Root Hollow ain’t exactly the best place to meet anyone.”There was a brief silence to digest the sizable facts that were now out in the open.“You’re embarrassed.” said her mom.“No, I’m, I’m, sorry.” Kelsey just couldn’t find any other words.“Well, me and Jim we talked and if you ever want to give him a go then we’d both be okay with it.”“Momma! But he’s your boyfriend!”Her mom smiled, “Yeah, but he ain’t my husband and that kind of makes it okay. Or maybe not so bad. One of those for sure.”Shauna stood up, “Well, I got things to do. You think about what I said and if it ever comes up then that’s fine. If it doesn’t then that’s fine too. Either way we’ll leave this here at the table, okay?”“Yes, ma'am.” replied Kelsey.Of course, this changed nothing at night when Kelsey would have to hear her mother getting fucked in the next room. Kelsey masturbated sometimes but the satisfaction started to feel empty.Not long before Christmas Shauna announced that Kelsey was going to have a baby brother or baby sister.Kelsey saw Jim looking at her while he hugged Shauna. His smile was understated and she could sense his thoughts.Christmas Eve was when Kelsey’s family had always opened presents and so after dinner that night the trio gathered around their modest tree. Kelsey gave presents to Jim and to Shauna. Jim gave presents to Shauna and Kelsey.Shauna however said that her present to both of them would come later.When it was time for bed the trio went their different directions.Shauna's Gift-giving.But about fifteen minutes after Kelsey got to bed she woke up with her mom gently shaking her shoulder.“What is it?” she asked.“I want to sleep in here tonight.” said Shauna.Kelsey sat up a bit, “In here? With me? This isn’t that big a bed, momma.”Shauna shook her head, “No, Just me.”Kelsey was still half asleep and not grasping the idea. “Then where do I sleep?”Shauna smiled, “With Jim. He’s waiting for you. I’m giving him to you and I gave you to him.”“Holy shit, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”Shauna stood up and took off her robe. She was naked under the robe, which was how she would sleep with Jim most nights.“You can use my robe if you want.”“What?” asked Kelsey.“Get naked, put the robe on, and go in there. You know you need it. And Jim is a good man and he’ll treat you right. Beats the hell out of lying in here all the time and rubbing it out like you do.”“Momma!”“Don’t 'momma’ me, go on. Git.”Shauna pulled back the blankets and had Kelsey stand up. Kelsey had serious misgivings but at the same time she also wanted to get laid. She’d been thinking about sex with Jim so much that she found herself somewhat smitten with the older man. It was wrong in so many ways, but at the same time Jim was the only man around. There weren’t a lot of other options for Kelsey, if she wanted to enjoy some masculine attention.Still, it took some cajoling for Shauna to get Kelsey out of her pajamas and into the robe. Then she ushered Kelsey to the bedroom door.“Go.” she said, pushing Kelsey out the door and shutting it.Kelsey was alone in the hallway. The two bedroom doors were closed. She thought about what her mother was offering to her and a cavalcade of worries and desires ran rampant in her brain.Going out to the kitchen she pulled down the bottle of bourbon and poured herself a shot. Not a lot, just a shot to settle her nerves. That was her rational reasoning, But truly, she knew the liquor would loosen up her inhibitions and allow her to accept her mother's selfless gift.Sitting down on the couch she sipped at the bourbon while scenarios of pleasure and consequence ran through her head. She wasn’t worried about her relationship with Shauna, because this was just like Shauna, to have a wildly pragmatic solution to a touchy problem.Kelsey wondered what the immediate future would be like if she went through with this. The shot of bourbon tipped up and emptied into her mouth on that thought. She swirled it around and let it burn her mouth before she swallowed. It felt good.She got up and put the shot glass on the kitchen counter. Standing there for a while she considered sleeping on the couch.“Fuck it.” she finally whispered.Walking to the hallway she opened the other bedroom door and let herself into the dark room. The moonlight cast a soft glow upon the bed, where her mother had drawn the covers back. She could hear the sound of someone snoozing. She eased out of the robe, neatly folded it, and put it on the dresser. Her naked body tingled from the coolness of the winter night. Her nipples stiffened and extended.And then she got into the bed opposite of Jim, with her body facing the nightstand.A moment later, his breathing softened and she felt the bed move as he rolled to face her. His big arm wrapped around her and pulled her close.“I figured you’d come back to bed.” he whispered. His hand moved to Kelsey’s tight belly and she felt him pause.“Kelsey?”“Yeah.” she replied.“Well now.” he said. “When Shauna came up with this idea I didn’t expect you’d go along with it.”“I wasn’t sure.” she said.“Can’t say I’m disappointed. Been wanting for you in this bed for a while now. Kinda hard seeing you in this house all the time, looking so nice and tempting.”Kelsey had never heard Jim speak like this before. She felt his cock firming up against her back as he held her close.“This ain’t your first time, is it?”“No.” she admitted.“Good.” he said as he pulled her onto her back. “Then you know how things work.” She was on her back and he was on his side to her. Her thigh was tucked between his legs and she felt his warm cock twitching.She found herself looking up at his face as he looked down at hers. He kissed her forehead before kissing her on each cheek. His hand wandered over her belly and she caught her breath as he explored her modest tits.And then he kissed her.Maybe it was the bourbon, but she kissed him back. She felt him start to move with her and the hand that had been on her tits moved down between her legs. He nudged her legs apart and sought her crevice.His middle finger found her folds and then quickly slipped inside to get her warmed up. She’d done this to herself so many times that she immediately responded to him.She heard herself make a pleasured sound. It seemed so far away.One of his legs got further between hers. He kissed her again and then moved down to kiss her long, graceful neck.It was all moving so fast!“Slow down.” she whispered.“Sure.” he said, and then fumbled with her legs and at the same time he moved between them. He kissed her neck as he laid his chest down gently on just her tits.She felt his cock touch her pussy.“Touch it.” he whispered to her.“No, ” she shook her head, “I’m not, ”“Touch it.” he said more insistently, lifting himself up as he said this.She reached her delicate hand down between them and lightly touched it. It was warm and it bounced a little. She tried to fight off the urge and then fully grasped it. It was long but not too thick. It was longer than her boyfriend’s cock was, that was for sure.'I’m with a man’ she thought to herself.Jim moved to press his cock towards Kelsey’s pussy.“Please, I’m not sure.” she whispered.She felt him relax and she pulled her hand away from his shaft. He adjusted her arms so they were above his elbows. Her hands naturally moved to his shoulders and she felt his strength. He was solid. She could feel some scars. She knew Jim wasn’t any city boy who spent an hour in the gym every day. No, Jim got this way from a lifetime of hard work. She realized that he was a totally different breed of male from what she was accustomed to.His groin moved against hers.“Please.” she asked again.“Second thoughts?” he asked.“Yes.” she said this with an air of relief.“Gimme a kiss and we’ll take care of those second thoughts for you.”She obliged and kissed him. His tongue tangled with her own and she was lost in the sensation as she felt his lower body move against her own.“Hmm!” was her stifled protest as the head of his cock parted her pussy lips and plowed her furrow.Her legs tensed and in an ages-old feminine mistake she tried to use the soles of her feet to push him away. Instead the flower of her pussy opened up and welcomed him in.She felt her arousal coming up as he steadily thrust into her body. She’d been holding back but now the feeling of his cock starting to penetrate her pussy, was triggering her animal instincts.He broke their kiss.“Jim, oh,” she said as he thrust more of his cock into her,“Oh my, ” he thrust a little deeper,“should stop,”He moved his knees up a bit, and the new position let him slip all the way into her.“Oh, my God this feels so good!” she said out loud, as he started to fuck her.Kelsey was still well aware of her second thoughts and misgivings but for the first time in a long time she had a cock in her body and she was getting what she needed.Jim fucked her, nice and deep, and in a steady rhythm, just like he did with her mother. She felt his cock rub the top of her wet canal, and awaken her carnal desires. Jim was a real man. Not a West Coast metrosexual. His body celebrated masculinity rather than apologize for its toxicity.Kelsey imagined all those nights her mother had been in this same position with that same cock buried in her pussy, pumping away and pleasuring her.She was unaware that her legs were now spread wide and her raised up like a goalpost. She felt Jim’s heavy balls bouncing against her upturned ass as he fucked her. She imagined herself with the big man between her legs, fucking her. It seemed sexier to think of him fucking her instead of making love. Her body was celebrating, even if her mind was still confused.Kelsey imagined Shauna feeling his cock plowing in and out of her, trying to

College girl has to move home and makes a risky decision.Based on a post by Baztrachian, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.Kelsey had been doing pretty good after graduating from junior college. She’d landed a decent job with a promising California company two years prior and she’d been dating a coworker and that was looking good too. The tall and slim redhead fit in well with the Silicon Valley fashion scene and she rather enjoyed being able to pull off some of the more interesting styles. Back at home she was just called ‘skinny’.Then the state government made some arbitrary environmental rules about some random thing and the next thing she knew her potential boyfriend was gone and she was out of a job. The possibilities of another job were remote as every firm in her field of expertise was either in retreat or facing bankruptcy.The paltry savings she had didn’t last long, and all too soon she had to give her car back to the bank, vacate her apartment, and then catch a bus to her mother’s new place in Newton County, Arkansas. As the long ride home took days, Kelsey had too much time to lament her current state. The seat which seemed tolerable for the first few hours, proved intolerable for the first long night. She had to transfer busses in LA. Five hours later, her next bus departed for along journey thru Arizona, then New Mexico and the Rio Grande region. She finally quit trying to sleep. It took four hours waiting in the Dallas station, from 3am to 7am, before she could board her 3rd bus; to travel thru Oklahoma. By the time she transferred to her 4th bus, in Tulsa, she was a complete zombie and every joint in her body was in pain. 54 arduous hours after leaving Silicon Valley, she was dumped off in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Her mother's warm hug greeted her. As the two women loaded Kelsey's bags into the truck bed, an onlooker might not recognize which of the two women was younger looking.Shauna was in her forties, but healthy living and environment kept her complexion and body quite youthful. The mother's peaceful countenance was therapeutic to a young Kelsey, whose anxieties were raging.Newton County is in the Ozarks and actual towns are not really a thing there. “Root Hollow” was the unofficial name of the place where her mom, Shauna, landed after her divorce from Kelsey’s father. It wasn’t far from what was called the Ozark Grand Canyon so it was definitely beautiful even though few people lived there.When Kelsey finally made it to Shauna’s place, she walked up the steps and was greeted by a big man who was sitting on the porch.“Howdy, you must be Kelsey! I’m Jim!” he said as he stood up and went towards her.Kelsey figured this was her mom’s boyfriend she’d heard about.“Hi!” she smiled and held out her hand.The big man smiled and gathered her up in a bear hug. “Your momma told me you’d be along. She didn’t tell me how pretty you were, though.”He said this in all sincerity and Kelsey didn’t mind. Kelsey felt anything but ‘pretty'.Jim helped her get her two bags into a spare bedroom and then he got Kelsey a tall glass of iced tea. Sweet tea, really.They sat and chatted for a couple hours and Kelsey got to hear all about how Jim and Shauna met at the Kroger grocery store where Jim supervised the warehouse. He was gregarious and friendly and Kelsey saw what her mother liked about him. He was the polar opposite of Kelsey’s stern, disciplinarian father.Shauna got up after she finished her version of the relationship. Kelsey was still quiet, but the ibuprofen was helping her joints recover from the 54 hour bus ride.Jim added the facts that he would have added to Shauna's narrative, then he explained the male rationale for the actions Shauna found humorous in the early days of their romance.Then Shauna announced that dinner was made. The evening conversation was incredibly pleasant and Kelsey saw even more of what her mother liked about Jim.After the evening was over, the couple retreated to their bedroom and Kelsey retreated to hers. The cool early fall air wafted in through the bedroom window guaranteeing Kelsey a comfortable sleep.During the night she heard a rhythmic sound and it woke her up. She also heard her mother’s whispered voice. Between the thin walls and the dead quiet of the night Kelsey realized that her mother was getting fucked by Jim.Even though she understood that her mother had moved on from an unhappy marriage it was still significant to her that Shauna was fucking someone other than Kelsey’s father. And from the sound of it, Shauna was enjoying herself. After some time Kelsey could hear the two lovers reach their peak and then it was quiet again.Jim was up and out the door for work well before sunrise.In the morning, Kelsey and Shauna were making small talk over breakfast when Kelsey decided to 'go there’.“I heard you and Jim last night.” she said to her mom.“I suppose you did.”“Are you happy with him?” asked Kelsey.“I am. He’s a good man and he’s good for me. He’s also a hell of a lot better in bed than your father ever was.”“Momma!” said a shocked Kelsey.Shauna laughed, “I didn’t become a nun after your father and me broke up. But I will say your father was pretty cold and there were times he made me wish I’d been a nun.”“Are you going to marry him?”Shauna sipped her coffee. “I don’t know. It’s not a big priority really. I mean I been married, right? Now, maybe I want to not be married.”Shauna put the coffee down. “We might even try for a baby.”“Wow.” was all the response Kelsey could muster.Kelsey considered that she’d been born to her mother at an early age so her mother’s baby years weren’t past her yet. And Jim was a couple or a few years younger than Shauna. It was a possibility.She decided she liked the idea of having a sibling. Even one twenty-two years younger than herself.That night when everyone had gone to bed Kelsey found herself thinking about Shauna and Jim in the next room. She was just starting to feel herself slipping off into a slumber when she heard activity from the next bedroom.When the rhythmic sound started up she imagined Jim fucking her mother and mating with her. He was trying to get Shauna pregnant. Somehow that was arousing to Kelsey and she absently fingered her pussy as the tempo from the next room increased.“Guh!” she heard Jim growl and she knew he was cumming in Shauna.The next day saw Shauna going to the Kroger to apply for a job. She’d hitched a ride with a neighbor and figured on riding back with Jim.Things were getting hard even for Kroger’s and Kelsey was told they’d keep her application on file in case something opened up.On the way home Jim tried to cheer her up and Kelsey caught herself looking in the direction of the man’s crotch as he talked and drove. She wondered at the fact that his cock had been inside of her mother. She imagined it stroking in and out, and then spurting seed into Shauna’s womb.“Hey, you awake?” asked Jim, stirring her from her reverie.“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry, just lost in thought.”He patted her back, “I understand. But don’t worry, you’ll find something to do soon enough, I’m sure.”Except she didn’t. The economy was in a slide and tourism was off and that was the main money maker in Newton County. In short, no one was hiring.Over the next couple months Kelsey kept looking for work and along the way she did the occasional odd job like cleaning for someone or helping at a local egg farm. It wasn’t big money but it was enough to keep her wallet from going empty.Also over the next couple months Kelsey found herself listening to Jim and Shauna almost every night. She’d masturbate along with the sounds from the next room and then try to keep quiet when she’d orgasm. One night in November she failed to do that and the sudden silence in the room next door told her she’d been caught.The next morning Jim was gone and she and her mom sat to chat.“We heard you last night.” said her mom.“Aw, shit, ” replied Kelsey.“No, it’s okay. Nothing to be ashamed of. We both understand. You’re young, you need a man, and Root Hollow ain’t exactly the best place to meet anyone.”There was a brief silence to digest the sizable facts that were now out in the open.“You’re embarrassed.” said her mom.“No, I’m, I’m, sorry.” Kelsey just couldn’t find any other words.“Well, me and Jim we talked and if you ever want to give him a go then we’d both be okay with it.”“Momma! But he’s your boyfriend!”Her mom smiled, “Yeah, but he ain’t my husband and that kind of makes it okay. Or maybe not so bad. One of those for sure.”Shauna stood up, “Well, I got things to do. You think about what I said and if it ever comes up then that’s fine. If it doesn’t then that’s fine too. Either way we’ll leave this here at the table, okay?”“Yes, ma'am.” replied Kelsey.Of course, this changed nothing at night when Kelsey would have to hear her mother getting fucked in the next room. Kelsey masturbated sometimes but the satisfaction started to feel empty.Not long before Christmas Shauna announced that Kelsey was going to have a baby brother or baby sister.Kelsey saw Jim looking at her while he hugged Shauna. His smile was understated and she could sense his thoughts.Christmas Eve was when Kelsey’s family had always opened presents and so after dinner that night the trio gathered around their modest tree. Kelsey gave presents to Jim and to Shauna. Jim gave presents to Shauna and Kelsey.Shauna however said that her present to both of them would come later.When it was time for bed the trio went their different directions.Shauna's Gift-giving.But about fifteen minutes after Kelsey got to bed she woke up with her mom gently shaking her shoulder.“What is it?” she asked.“I want to sleep in here tonight.” said Shauna.Kelsey sat up a bit, “In here? With me? This isn’t that big a bed, momma.”Shauna shook her head, “No, Just me.”Kelsey was still half asleep and not grasping the idea. “Then where do I sleep?”Shauna smiled, “With Jim. He’s waiting for you. I’m giving him to you and I gave you to him.”“Holy shit, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”Shauna stood up and took off her robe. She was naked under the robe, which was how she would sleep with Jim most nights.“You can use my robe if you want.”“What?” asked Kelsey.“Get naked, put the robe on, and go in there. You know you need it. And Jim is a good man and he’ll treat you right. Beats the hell out of lying in here all the time and rubbing it out like you do.”“Momma!”“Don’t 'momma’ me, go on. Git.”Shauna pulled back the blankets and had Kelsey stand up. Kelsey had serious misgivings but at the same time she also wanted to get laid. She’d been thinking about sex with Jim so much that she found herself somewhat smitten with the older man. It was wrong in so many ways, but at the same time Jim was the only man around. There weren’t a lot of other options for Kelsey, if she wanted to enjoy some masculine attention.Still, it took some cajoling for Shauna to get Kelsey out of her pajamas and into the robe. Then she ushered Kelsey to the bedroom door.“Go.” she said, pushing Kelsey out the door and shutting it.Kelsey was alone in the hallway. The two bedroom doors were closed. She thought about what her mother was offering to her and a cavalcade of worries and desires ran rampant in her brain.Going out to the kitchen she pulled down the bottle of bourbon and poured herself a shot. Not a lot, just a shot to settle her nerves. That was her rational reasoning, But truly, she knew the liquor would loosen up her inhibitions and allow her to accept her mother's selfless gift.Sitting down on the couch she sipped at the bourbon while scenarios of pleasure and consequence ran through her head. She wasn’t worried about her relationship with Shauna, because this was just like Shauna, to have a wildly pragmatic solution to a touchy problem.Kelsey wondered what the immediate future would be like if she went through with this. The shot of bourbon tipped up and emptied into her mouth on that thought. She swirled it around and let it burn her mouth before she swallowed. It felt good.She got up and put the shot glass on the kitchen counter. Standing there for a while she considered sleeping on the couch.“Fuck it.” she finally whispered.Walking to the hallway she opened the other bedroom door and let herself into the dark room. The moonlight cast a soft glow upon the bed, where her mother had drawn the covers back. She could hear the sound of someone snoozing. She eased out of the robe, neatly folded it, and put it on the dresser. Her naked body tingled from the coolness of the winter night. Her nipples stiffened and extended.And then she got into the bed opposite of Jim, with her body facing the nightstand.A moment later, his breathing softened and she felt the bed move as he rolled to face her. His big arm wrapped around her and pulled her close.“I figured you’d come back to bed.” he whispered. His hand moved to Kelsey’s tight belly and she felt him pause.“Kelsey?”“Yeah.” she replied.“Well now.” he said. “When Shauna came up with this idea I didn’t expect you’d go along with it.”“I wasn’t sure.” she said.“Can’t say I’m disappointed. Been wanting for you in this bed for a while now. Kinda hard seeing you in this house all the time, looking so nice and tempting.”Kelsey had never heard Jim speak like this before. She felt his cock firming up against her back as he held her close.“This ain’t your first time, is it?”“No.” she admitted.“Good.” he said as he pulled her onto her back. “Then you know how things work.” She was on her back and he was on his side to her. Her thigh was tucked between his legs and she felt his warm cock twitching.She found herself looking up at his face as he looked down at hers. He kissed her forehead before kissing her on each cheek. His hand wandered over her belly and she caught her breath as he explored her modest tits.And then he kissed her.Maybe it was the bourbon, but she kissed him back. She felt him start to move with her and the hand that had been on her tits moved down between her legs. He nudged her legs apart and sought her crevice.His middle finger found her folds and then quickly slipped inside to get her warmed up. She’d done this to herself so many times that she immediately responded to him.She heard herself make a pleasured sound. It seemed so far away.One of his legs got further between hers. He kissed her again and then moved down to kiss her long, graceful neck.It was all moving so fast!“Slow down.” she whispered.“Sure.” he said, and then fumbled with her legs and at the same time he moved between them. He kissed her neck as he laid his chest down gently on just her tits.She felt his cock touch her pussy.“Touch it.” he whispered to her.“No, ” she shook her head, “I’m not, ”“Touch it.” he said more insistently, lifting himself up as he said this.She reached her delicate hand down between them and lightly touched it. It was warm and it bounced a little. She tried to fight off the urge and then fully grasped it. It was long but not too thick. It was longer than her boyfriend’s cock was, that was for sure.'I’m with a man’ she thought to herself.Jim moved to press his cock towards Kelsey’s pussy.“Please, I’m not sure.” she whispered.She felt him relax and she pulled her hand away from his shaft. He adjusted her arms so they were above his elbows. Her hands naturally moved to his shoulders and she felt his strength. He was solid. She could feel some scars. She knew Jim wasn’t any city boy who spent an hour in the gym every day. No, Jim got this way from a lifetime of hard work. She realized that he was a totally different breed of male from what she was accustomed to.His groin moved against hers.“Please.” she asked again.“Second thoughts?” he asked.“Yes.” she said this with an air of relief.“Gimme a kiss and we’ll take care of those second thoughts for you.”She obliged and kissed him. His tongue tangled with her own and she was lost in the sensation as she felt his lower body move against her own.“Hmm!” was her stifled protest as the head of his cock parted her pussy lips and plowed her furrow.Her legs tensed and in an ages-old feminine mistake she tried to use the soles of her feet to push him away. Instead the flower of her pussy opened up and welcomed him in.She felt her arousal coming up as he steadily thrust into her body. She’d been holding back but now the feeling of his cock starting to penetrate her pussy, was triggering her animal instincts.He broke their kiss.“Jim, oh,” she said as he thrust more of his cock into her,“Oh my, ” he thrust a little deeper,“should stop,”He moved his knees up a bit, and the new position let him slip all the way into her.“Oh, my God this feels so good!” she said out loud, as he started to fuck her.Kelsey was still well aware of her second thoughts and misgivings but for the first time in a long time she had a cock in her body and she was getting what she needed.Jim fucked her, nice and deep, and in a steady rhythm, just like he did with her mother. She felt his cock rub the top of her wet canal, and awaken her carnal desires. Jim was a real man. Not a West Coast metrosexual. His body celebrated masculinity rather than apologize for its toxicity.Kelsey imagined all those nights her mother had been in this same position with that same cock buried in her pussy, pumping away and pleasuring her.She was unaware that her legs were now spread wide and her raised up like a goalpost. She felt Jim’s heavy balls bouncing against her upturned ass as he fucked her. She imagined herself with the big man between her legs, fucking her. It seemed sexier to think of him fucking her instead of making love. Her body was celebrating, even if her mind was still confused.Kelsey imagined Shauna feeling his cock plowing in and out of her, trying to

Tobin gives us Today's Training Camp report! Marcos delivers a mixed bag worthy of Guh-len's approval We continue our annual is Tyler Herro "swole" conversation

The one about sandworms and other wormy cryptids and creatures

Guh pa nat na a pian loh na ding thu // Health talk.Kawikawi + Na Ang Sung // Chin Gospel SOngs.

Guh leh Tang a ding a tan huai an nam te // Health talk.Kawikawi + Gam vang la a om // Chin Gospel Songs.

Suddenly, and also three weeks late (approx.), the GHZ fellas wax lyrical about national anthems, GotG (pronounced "got-GUH") & DADHAT (pronounced "DADHAT"), and current affairs in kingdoms both 'United' and 'of Hyrule'. Additionally, Nathan learns about "pennying a pint", and is disgusted. Thoughts? Feelings? All of the above? Email us! ~GHZPodcast at gmail dot com~

Season 2 Episode 54 is here! Jandy and the Doc put EA on notice as they rage at the lack of any upgrade grind, drop rates from hell, and Bundesliga TOTS. We review Reus, the community favourite Guh-nabry, and answer a listener question about improving your Weekend League results. This is Nothin' But a FUT Thing!

Guh leh tang ne te nek ding an te bang te // Health talk.Kawikawi + It huai Topa + Zeisu ka muh teh // Chin Gospel Songs.

Guh leh tang nat na nop tuam na ding // Health talk.Kawikawi + Tang thu ngaih pen // Chin Gospel Songs.

Guh leh tang nat na nop tuam nang thu // Health talk.Kawikawi + Tang thu ngaih pen // Chin Gospel Songs.

Guh leh tang nat na nei te ii nek ding an te // Health talk.Kawikawi + Samaria tui khuk + Zeisu khut len in // Chin Gospel Songs.

Guh leh tang nat na nop tuam na ding in // Health talk.Kawikawi + Et lawm calvary // Chin Gospel Songs.

In this week's episode, we're (foolishly) returning to a film franchise in which we (wisely) covered one film and then turned and ran: it's the 2005 sequel "Saw II." Guh. Special topics for your consideration include: elaborately-timed plans of absolute stupidity, utterly confusing motivations, wearing your dad's suit to work, two very divergent meanings of the phrase "Jesus show girl," and the possibility that these films are not just torture porn but in fact torture for the viewer. No Cary Elwes in this one, but you can catch him in "Saw," Episode 81. And, screw it, he's also in Episode 76- "????" which is actually just "Days of Thunder," a fantastic film. I wish Cary Elwes had been in this piece of shit.  Hey, give us a call and leave us a voicemail! You can call 412-407-7025 and let us hear your sweet sweet voices. Otherwise, find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie each month. We just reviewed "Con Air" for September and LOOOOOL. Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

The Silver Shadows have come out victorious! Guh of The Hill Giants is no more! However the threat still looms as whoever or whatever influenced Guh in the first place is still a mystery and a bigger threat! The group heads on back to Goldenfields and meets with Liander. Let us see how it goes!Players: Chubax Chuidian as MALAK, Jong Clemente as ITSZKI, RJ Villanueva as ASUMEDOS, Ysa Bautista as Sheevra.Dungeon Master: Angelo Montejo

Guh leh tang na te nek ding an leh tui te // Health talk.Kawikawi + Et lawm calvary // Chin Gospel Songs.

Melissa Guller is the founder of Wit & Wire, where she helps creators turn their skills and passions into profitable online businesses. Previously, Melissa was the Director of Marketing Engagement at Teachable as well as the Sr. Launch Manager for Ramit Sethi's 8-figure course launch team. To date, she's taught thousands of students through General Assembly, Skillshare, and her own business Wit & Wire, and she's on a mission to help more creators to earn money online doing work they love.Pronunciation Notes:My last name is Guller, like “color” (GUH-ler)Ramit's name is ruh -MEET SAY-teeLinks:Website: witandwire.comYouTube: witandwire.com/youtubePodcast: witandwire.com/podcastInstagram: instagram.com/witandwireTikTok: tiktok.com/@witandwireFree Resource:Complete Online Course Toolkit: ​​You don't need to be a tech guru to be a profitable course creator. This free guide includes the exact equipment, templates, and tools I recommend to create your online course at any budget.Download for free at witandwire.com/coursetoolkit

My whole life, I've struggled with sprinting through and, inevitably, killing my newly found passions, instead of slowing down and embracing the long, slow journey of learning. This episode tells, in story, how the fast, obsessed method of passion-based learning will fry your brain's computer every time. Maybe there's a better strategy to long-term success. This is Part 2 to Episode 1 of the If Then Podcast. Listen to Episode 1 first: https://youtu.be/ryv8BHh_MIc GIVEAWAY DETAILS: If you want to share the podcast, I've been giving away 2 free 1 month Audible gift cards every week this May. This isn't sponsored by Audible, but because I know most everyone has done their free trial already, I wanted a way for you to get another free audiobook. This is a gift card that will still work even if you already have an account! You'll get a free credit for an audiobook of your choice + 1 month access to their Plus catalog which includes thousands of audiobooks with no credits needed. All you have to do to enter to win is take a screenshot of this podcast and share it on your Instagram while tagging the account @ifthenpodcast in the post or story. And, also, be sure to follow @ifthenpodcast on Instagram to find out if you're the winner each week. If we get 100 shares by the end of the month, each of you will be entered to win a pair of AirPods.  WEBSITE: https://www.ifthenpodcast.com CREDITS: Jordan Taylor as the traveler. Matt D'Avella's YouTube video about the journey to the South Pole: https://youtu.be/xY0tJAkukWc?t=375 Transcript: Just a heads up, this is kind of a part 2 to episode 1, so listen to that first if you haven't already. Link in the show notes. My name is Jordan Taylor, and welcome to the If Then Podcast. Our brains our a conglomerate of if/then statements, like in computer code, and oftentimes new lines of code are hard to write in our mind when we're trying new things, for example if I want to play piano, then I need to read music. Sitting down and coding that particular if then statement could take years of dedication, but when we do sit down and create new then statements for a complicated if, it feels freaking amazing. This podcast is your weekly motivation, and mine, to get uncomfortable and write some neurological code. “It's not about having the right opportunities. It's about handling the opportunities right.” — Mark Hunter After episode 1 of If Then, we all started to walk. We all embarked on our own personal journeys to find the ocean, with no understanding of where it was or which way to go, but realizing the importance of just choosing a direction, without having any frame of reference, and just moving. Logically, in so doing, we'll ALWAYS eventually hit the ocean, no matter which way we turn. Maybe initially we were a mile from the beach without knowing, and started walking in the opposite direction, all the way through the middle east and asia, only hitting the East China Sea years later. But who cares, I argued in episode 1? At least we got there. We'll always get there if we just start walking. Well, what I realized this week on my journey, is that that's not the full story. There's more to this dangerous adventure than I led on. See on my own personal route to the ocean, I realized that I had a serious, serious problem—a problem that left me withered, injured, cracked… and I was worried it might get even worse. ——— “Alright, do I have everything. Water, backpack, Phone. Check, check, check.” *Phone beeps signifying video recording* “Alright, Day 1 of my journey to the ocean. I'm not sure which way to go, but that's not the point. I'm just gonna start walking, and I'll have to find it. That's the beauty. So I'll pick this way. Here we go.” *Phone beeps again. Recording stops. Phone keyboard typing* “Post…toooo Instagram. And the journey beeegins.” ——— The day I started was a beautiful day, conditions pristine. A mindset recharged. After all, I listened to the first episode of If Then, and I mean it was pretty good. I even gave it a 5 star review AND shared about it on Instagram to maybe win those AirPods at the end of May. I heard listeners already won free audiobooks. That would be cool too. That first day, I walked 35 miles. I wanted to get to the ocean as fast as possible, so I pushed as hard as possible. And I was amazed with how much a new mindset could push me to do something so noteworthy. Something I'd never in my wildest dreams imagine I could do. Well over a marathon in one day. This new mindset I carried with me, it was somethin' special. ——— *Crickets* *Phone record beep* “35 miles in one day. Anything is possible. If I can do it, you can too! Get out there and crush those miles.” *Phone beep* “Aaaand post.” “Alright, set up camp.” *Wood drop* *Fire strike*  *Groans* “My feet are sore…” ——— The next day I woke up, and it was surprisingly scorching for that time of year. And I was even more sore than I thought I'd be after a good nights sleep. I reflected on how I had just walked 35 miles the day before which is pretty insane, I mean, not many people have even tried that. I made so much ground that it was totally acceptable to rest my body up for the next big push the next day. The weather forecast seemed to be favorable then too, which would help with my next big goal. ——— “I wonder if I can go 40 miles tomorrow. *Groans* My leg's still sore, but this isn't supposed to be easy, ehhhh I think I can do it. Gotta keep moving. Get there as fast as I can.” ——— Morning came, perfect conditions as promised. I actually woke up at 5:00 AM to get an early start—I was sure to post about that too, and accomplished my goal: 40 miles—an impressive feat. My achilles started to ache around mile 35 though, but..I mean, I had to get 40. So I rested for a day or two. Alright it was five, but I had made some good progress, and the rain had also settled in, so the timing honestly couldn't be better. ——— *Phone picture takes* *Typing* “75 miles down. Push through the pain and anything can be achieved.” *Beeping sound signifying posting* “Ouch, my feet. I didn't know they could blister like that. *exhales as sits* I'm really gonna have to take a break. Wow… I'll rest up and then try hit it hard again next week.” ——— I was surprised and a little embarrassed with how exhausted and beat down I was when the sun rose, not just physically, but mentally as well after just a week of walking. ——— *Tent rustles as Jordan exits and grunts* “Yeah…not walking today, or most likely tomorrow.” ——— How many more hundreds of weeks will this go on? How many years could potentially go by? I honestly feel… kinda terrible and this is only week 2. Like, what? I found myself resting on the hot days, by a fire on the cold days, and under a tarp on the rainy days. Every step a dull pain, and so I could hardly be blamed for the lull in pace. Very few days were spring like perfection, and so very few days had forward progress. On the perfect days, then, I found myself sprinting, traveling all day all out with an urgency built up from days of idling. ——— *Jordan breathing heavy. Trying to pull it together to film. Phone record beeps* “35 miles again today. Big, big push. Follow your dreams and you can do big things too.” *Phone beep. Then typing. Sound of post goes through while Jordan still breathes heavy* “Where is it? Maybe I got lucky and picked the close route. That's all I can hope. That's all I can hope.” ——— A month went by. And then another. And then another. And then hills formed and flattened. Those were hard enough. And then… are those mountains in the distance? My legs ached more than I thought possible. Mentally, being out in the elements day in and day out with injuries and such little promise of any sign of an ocean was debilitating. And then the mountain. And then it got serious. I sat at base camp for two weeks in the shade of the peaks. The shadows cast matched my darkened spirits. Trying everything to heal and recover my legs, feet, my entire body. I just needed one week of perfect conditions to get over the top. Everyday it rained and I sat, I just had the hope “Tomorrow will be better” as the rain pelted the tarp. Another post to Instagram. I wonder why I only got a few likes on that one. Does no one care I'm out here anymore, doing what they won't even try? Then the morning came, and the mud took over, but it had been too long, and I just had to start no matter what. This was getting ridiculous. I got up and trudged. After a few sinking steps, I paused, my boots slurped from the sticky mud as my feet sank—my backpack shifted. ——— “hhhhh….Tomorrow will be better.” ——— I backtracked. Setup camp. The phone again. Another post. More likes this time. Good. They do care. Another night fell. Another day under the looming mountain. “Tomorrow will be better.” Late morning came. I woke up. ——— “Why does it keep being so cold? It's not even that late in the year, and it's still a little wet. I really don't want to get sick. Like, not now. Tomorrow will be better.” *Phone picture takes* *Typing* “Take some time today for your mental health. Today is dedicated to marshmallows and recovery.” *Beeping sound signifying posting* “Wait, is that Jeremy? We left at the same time, how did he—-how did Jeremy get to the ocean so fast??? What??? No…wait he really did. That makes no sense. I saw his posts, I was waking up earlier, I was pushing harder. Like seriously harder. This is ridiculous. Guh…so st—that's so dumb.” ——— Camp. Another fire. Another post. An Instagram story. Not many views. They don't care. This is probably all just stupid. Then the next day comes. Wait…there's a nice breeze.  The first in weeks. Wow, perfect temperatures. Perfect… everything! Maybe I can do this. I think I can make it over the top. ——— “This is it. This is the day I've wanted. Finally! Here we go.” *Phone record beep as Jordan walks* "Alright, it's the BIG day, starting the big climb. What mountain in your life do you need to climb? We all have one. Send me a message with what yours is and then just star—” *Trips and falls while walking* "OWW!!! owww my ANKLE! THIS IS STUPID!!!! I'M DONE! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! I'm done. I quit.” ——— And I really did. I quit that day. And can you blame me? I broke my ankle. Like I physically couldn't walk. I couldn't take another step even if I tried. It would be smart to go on. After 3 months, and not as many miles as I had hoped, I slunk home. It's understandable, but the hard thing to suggest to someone at that point, is that maybe it was their own fault, and not anything else—not the weather, mud, the fall, just yours. Maybe I should have taken a different approach altogether from the very first day, and then none of that would have mattered or happened. I heard a story last month about the men who raced to the south pole on Matt DUHvella's YouTube video “The problem with most productivity advice.” There were two groups who wanted to be the first humans to ever reach the South Pole. One group's strategy was exactly mine, As Greg Mckeown put it in that video quote “they walked with an insecure overachiever approach…. They would walk all out on the good weather days, and then on the bad weather days be so exhausted they would make no progress at all and felt the psychological burden of not making even an inch of progress forward.” Sometimes they would travel as much as 50 miles in a day. The other group took the exact opposite approach. They did the thing honestly harder to do. They limited themselves. They committed to 15 miles a day every single day no matter the conditions, no matter what the moral, no matter anything. On bad days, 15 miles. But more notably, on good days, they would simply walk 15 miles even if they felt fresh and could go further. They purposefully held a consistent sustainable pace. For the first group, the fastest way, in their mind, was to go all out every single good weather day. They complained and complained about the situation and the weather all while the other team, slow and steady, progressed daily. 15 miles no matter what, they kept that steady pace. In the end, what happened? Well, they got there 30 days ahead of the insecure overachievers and all even safely made the long journey home. Mckeown points out how the biographer miraculously described them: Quote“They progressed every day without particular effort.” Unquote. One of the hardest tasks humans had ever done in history, done “without particular effort.” Meanwhile the other team? They tragically died from their effort. Recently I've come to grips with the fact of why all my hobbies seem to die in the tundra—on the journey. Every single time I get into something new and begin the long process of writing new if then statements in the computer of my brain, I go all out. I get impatient. I overachieve. 24/7 it's all I think about. Literally, it's all I do. I write huge neurological programs in an incredibly short amount of time, like Neo learning kung fu, more code than most people would be willing to write in that span, and I take pride in that. But then predictably… my computer fries from the workload and burns up, and the people I thought I was better then, slowly pass up my programs with more lengthy, advanced, clean pieces of working code in their minds. And I never finish my program. I never reach my ocean while they're all on the sand. I don't want to make the same mistake again. My newest venture is what your listening to. This podcast. And I've been actively working to slow down. To pace myself. To find my 15 miles a day, and slowly chip away. Consistently. Sustainably. And I think I really found something that works incredibly well. Next week I'm excited to share that secret strategy I've been following to get a ton done without burning out all while leading a very tight schedule. So I'll leave you with this: “It's not about having the right opportunities. It's about handling the opportunities right.” — Mark Hunter Thank you so much for listening to the third episode of the If Then Podcast. If you have feedback you want to give me or if you have anything you want to say, email me at contact@ifthenpodcast.com. And if you would, leave me a 5 star review if you found this podcast valuable. It really helps the podcast to get seen by other people like yourself. We reached #26 for Education on all of Spotify, and I have you to thank for that. We're almost at 200 reviews on Apple Podcasts and 300 on Spotify. And as an extra bonus, for those of you who help me spread the word, I've been giving away 2 free 1 month Audible gift cards every week this May. Last week, Tabita and Johnathan won a free credit for an audiobook of their choice + access to their Plus catalog which includes thousands of audiobooks with no credits needed. And if you win this week, don't worry the gift card is available to you even if you already have an Audible account. All you have to do to enter to win is take a screenshot of this podcast and share it on your Instagram while tagging the account @ifthenpodcast in the post or story. If you shared the last episode, you can also share this one too to be entered to win again. And, also, be sure to follow @ifthenpodcast on Instagram to find out if you're the winner this week. If we get 100 shares by the end of the month, each of you will be entered to win a pair of AirPods. We're over half way there, so keep sharing! Thank you so much for listening, my name is Jordan Taylor, and what if/then will you write today?

"Stop beating yourself up for not operating on the level everyone else does!" That was one of Allie Mounce's self-realizations when she was diagnosed with ADHD this year. Hear her journey from taking the entrepreneurial leap in February of 2020 (uh-oh!) to the post-accomplishment depression and burnout she experienced after reaching the self-employed mountain top. What do you do when your joy button is broken? At that time she thought, "I'm not happy, I'm not thriving, and I deserve help with that." Find out what helped her rediscover the joy in her work and life in episode 5! P.S. Listen to the end for Allie's top 3 Halloween horror movie recommendations! ...and a Guh-guh-guh-guh-ghost story! Shop for Allie's fantastic merch at: Pretty Useful Co. Sign up for our HIT the ground running newsletter Everything else you might need: Alec's Linktree

Happy Friday BOOs! This week on Balls Deep, Arielle is busy being alone, Rachel has flashbacks to Catholic school, and the girls debate what makes a vampire fuckable. In schmooze, the hosts chat about poo-phoria, why Sex and the City wasn't feminist, and Hollywood's hottest couples. For the listeners, the girls explain why watching porn ISN'T cheating and reveal some of the Blue Baller's sex horror stories. Later on, Rachel shares some stats on rising dating show viewership and falling marriage rates and Arielle talks about three shitty Spanish men who posed as a female author. Guh-ross!  Hold onto your broomsticks y'all, shit's about to get spooky! Hollywood Psychic Medium Patti Negri joins the girls to spill all the saucy stories in her cauldron—from conducting a seance at age eight to conjuring the spirit of Marilyn Monroe. She tells us about the different ways people have sex with ghosts and why she thinks Ouija boards shouldn't be sold in toy stores. Listen up, and don't forget to suspend your disbelief! Okay, so… a Blue Baller gained weight during Covid (relatable) and is afraid of catfishing her dating app suitors, and another listener wants to test the submissive waters but has no idea where to start. Got a question? Call 8555-OKAYSO Follow us everywhere @ballsdeepwith Follow Patti Negri @patti.negri BBoutique —> Get 15% off sex toys with code BALLSDEEP15 Bellesa Plus —> Pay what you want for the Netflix of Porn Powered by Bellesa

Join us as we talk about our favorite bear and bird, Banjo-Kazooie! Guh-huh!Hosts: Jared Gonzalez, Patrick Pereira. Editor/Sugar Daddy: Joseph Hall. Graphics Editor: Giselle Caruso.  Digital Media Editor: Patience Cole.  Producer: Jared Gonzalez.

Es war eine junge Generation von Nerds, die in der Corona-Zeit eine neue Beschäftigung für sich entdeckte: Im Lockdown kann man ja nicht nur Netflix bingen, sondern auch mit Aktien zocken. Und zwar über den Billig-Broker Robin Hood, der das Börseninvestieren zu demokratisieren versprach, indem er die Ordergebühren abschaffte. Auf dem Internet-Forum Wallstreetbets von Reddit tauschten sie sich über ihre Investment-Ideen aus und entdeckten ihre nostalgische Liebe zu dem stationären Computerspiele-Händler Gamestop, dessen Aktienkurs seit langem absoff. Und so verknüpften sich zum ersten Mal zwei Dynamiken, die zwar ähnlichen nicht-linearen Gesetzen folgen, aber bisher nicht zusammen auftraten: Das virale Social Media und das Herden-Verhalten an der Börse. Zusammen waren sie Dynamit. Der Aktienkurs von Gamestop schoss durch die Decke und einige Hedgefonds, die auf den Untergang von Gamestop gewettet hatten, wurden fast in den Bankrott getrieben. David gegen Goliath? Ein neues Occupy Wallstreet, nur diesmal mit den Mitteln des Marktes? Und wird jetzt die Popkultur mit ihren süffigen Narrativen zu einem wichtigen Player des Börsengeschehens? Darüber und über "Guh", den Laut, den eine Seele beim Verlassen eines Körpers macht, reden Lars Weisbrod und Ijoma Mangold in der neuesten Folge des Podcasts Die sogenannte Gegenwart. Weitere Informationen: Wir haben über die beiden Filme “The Dark Knight” und “The Dark Knight Rises” gesprochen, beide von Christopher Nolan. Außerdem über das Buch “The Big Short” von Michael Lewis und die Verfilmung des Buches aus dem Jahr 2015. Und hier ist das Video von dem erwähnten reddit-User, der gerade 50.000 Dollar verliert: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d80ahvRSV8E Der Joker geht von Bord https://www.zeit.de/2021/06/gamestop-aktie-wallstreet-hedgefonds-kapitalismus-marxismus-kulturkampf Investoren unterstützen Robinhood mit 3,4 Milliarden US-Dollar https://www.zeit.de/wirtschaft/2021-02/trading-app-robinhood-investoren-gamestop-hedgefonds-wallstreetbets-kleinanleger Ausgehyped https://www.zeit.de/digital/internet/2021-02/gamestop-aktie-hedgefonds-kleinanleger-reddit-wall-street-bets-reddit

I have posted some Mantras on Santhana Gopala Mantras for being Blessed with Children. I included in the post Mantras to prevent abortion. A little earlier I posted an article on Karbha Rakshmbigai for easy , natural delivery. Many readers wanted to know more on this subject. To begin with I am providing information on how to follow the Shasti Vrata for Lord Subrahmnya for begetting children.   I have observed, personally,that this Vrata has blessed the couple with children, in one case after 12 years and in another after six years. As on 25th October, 2017, Seventeen have been blessed with  CHILD after following the procedure.  This speaks of their faith and meticulous following of the procedure.      Have a Subrahmanya Idol/Photo at Home.   Choose the sixth day of the Waxing moon, Shukla Shasti.   Take  two one rupee or five rupees coins , have them tied up in a new white cloth tinged with turmeric powder.   Pray your Family Deity for child.   Keep these coins in the pooja room or in front of the Deity at Home.   ( all these are to be performed after taking bath and with out taking food).   Preferable if the husband wears Pancha kachcha and ladies Madisar,   Perform the Astotra of Lord Subramanya.   As Naivedya, offer Milk Payasam ot Sakkarai pongal. Or A teaspoon of honey or dry fruits.   On this day the couple are not to eat anything.   They should take fruits in the night.   The couple should be together in the night.   This Vrata has to be performed for 45 days( on every Shasti, both Shukla and Krishna Shasti)   Ensure that you do not disclose to others that you are following this Vrata.   I have noticed that woman conceive after the second observance, that is after the first shukla shasi when they have started the Vrata.   If it possible, one may visit the Family Deity and Lord Subramanya in any of His Arupadai veedu, His Six Abodes , before the starting the Vrata.   Or one may visit after the child is born and offer the Coins they have kept at Home before the Vrata. Sri Subrahmanya Ashtottara Sata Nâmavali: The 108 Names of Lord Skanda Kumara Nandikeswarar instructed this incantation to Sage Agastya Ôm namô Skandâya namaha Hail Skanda! Vanquisher of the mighty foes! Ôm namô Guhâya namaha Praise be to the Invisible Lord – He who abides in the hearts of devotees true! Ôm namô Shanmukhâya namaha Praise be to the six-faced one! Ôm namô Bâlanetrasutâya namaha Praise be to the Son of the Three-Eyed Siva! Ôm namô Prabhave namaha Praise be to the Lord Supreme! Ôm namô Pingalâya namaha Praise be to the golden-hued one! Ôm namô Krittikâsunave namaha Hail to the Son of the starry maids! Ôm namô Shikhivâhanâya namaha Hail to the rider on the peacock! Ôm namô Dvinadbhujâya namaha Hail to the Lord with the twelve hands! Ôm namô Dvinannetrâya namaha Hail to the Lord with the twelve eyes! Ôm namô Shaktidharâya namaha Hail to the wielder of the Lance! Ôm namô Pisidâsaprabhajanâya namaha Praise be to the destroyer of the Asuras! Ôm namô Târakâsurasamhârine namaha Praise be to the slâyar of Târakâsuran! Ôm namô Raksobalavimardanâya namaha Praise be to the Victor of the Asuric forces! Ôm namô Mattâya namaha Praise be to the Lord of felicity! Ôm namô Pramattâya namaha Praise be to the Lord of bliss! Ôm namô Unmattâya namaha Hail Oh passionate One! Ôm namô Surasainyasuraksakâya namaha (Suralangasya Rakshithre Namaha); Hail Saviour of the Devas! Ôm namô Devasenâpataye namaha Hail Commander of the Heavenly hosts! Ôm namô Pragnya namaha Hail, Lord of Wisdom! Ôm namô Kripalave namaha Hail Compassionate One! Ôm namô Bhaktavatsalâya namaha Lover of devout ones, Praise be to Thee! Ôm namô Umâsutâya namaha Son of Uma – Praise be to Thee! Ôm namô Shaktidharâya namaha Mighty Lord-Praise be to Thee! Ôm namô Kumârâya namahayo utat.https://ramanisblog.in/2014/05/03/shasti-vrata-for-children-how-to-follow/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ramanispodcast/message

"I brought you the gift of Myrrh... Myrrh-DUR" "GUH! Judas!" - Azula, The Bible. Tyler and Serena watch "The Crossroads of Destiny" and they talk a lot, Tyler cries again.Huge thanks to Podcorn for sponsoring this episode. Explore sponsorship opportunities and start monetizing your podcast by signing up here: https://podcorn.com/podcasters/CONTENT WARNING: This episode may contain strong language. We try to keep our podcast PG-13, but sometimes language slips through. Please be aware before letting young children listen alone.Follow us on Instagram and Twitter, both @airbenderpodEmail us questions or feedback at airbenderpod@gmail.comSubscribe to our patreon at https://www.patreon.com/airbenderpodCheck out our Redbubble store at https://www.redbubble.com/people/YipYipPodcast/shopFollow Tyler on Instagram and Twitter, both @tylerjon7Follow Serena on Instagram @serena_schreifelsSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/airbenderpod)

Guh-huh! This week, we talk about the delightful N64 classic, Banjo-Kazooie! Tune in to hear us talk about funny shark sounds and smells, silly villain music, potentially incorrect takes about a certain monkey rap (Just kidding! We are never incorrect), and, of course... collectos!!! Follow Us: Jordan's Twitter: https://twitter.com/BradypusRex Max's Twitter: https://twitter.com/maxibajillion Slappers Only: https://twitter.com/SlappersOnlyPod

The Law Offices Of Quibble, Squabble & Bicker have over 150 years of non-experience practicing non-law and have roped in the perfect client for their 23rd, Aging Is Fun And Hard On The Knees. The normal issues are discussed specifically old man medical issues but then, as usual the client is neglected as they talk about gravity punishing them, wheat germ & honeysuckle, twitchin' frickin' maniac, the Guh in Google, flipper babies, Florida and its unique stupid, never drive on acid and what the hell happened! Find other clients at www.qsblaw.org, get Twittering @qsblaw or email them at qsblawoffices@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/qsb/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/qsb/support

Download your worksheet by clicking here. Today our teacher is giving you instructions for the homework given to teenagers (photocopies "Μετατροπή κλάσματος σε μεικτό αριθμό" και "Μετατροπή μεικτού αριθμού σε κλάσμα" ). Listen to the recording and at the same time read the photocopies and do the homework. Stay connected and enjoy. ELIX team Σήμερα η δασκάλα σου δίνει οδηγίες για τις ασκήσεις που έχεις για το σπίτι (Φωτοτυπίες "Μετατροπή κλάσματος σε μεικτό αριθμό" και "Μετατροπή μεικτού αριθμού σε κλάσμα"). Άκουσε το μήνυμα, διάβασε τις φωτοτυπίες και κάνε τις ασκήσεις σου. Μείνε συντονισμένος. Η ομάδα της ΕΛΙΞ .تقدم لكم مدرّستنا اليوم تعليمات عن الواجب المنزلي الذي يُعطى للمراهقين (نسخ مصورة "تحويل كسر إلى رقم كسري" و "تحويل رقم كسري إلى كسر"). استمع إلى التسجيل واقرأ النسخ المصورة في نفس الوقت وقم بواجبك. ابق على اتصال واستمتع. فريق إليكس elix Ayro mamoste ji bo tetbîqatên ku hûn ji bo malê hene talîmatan dide we (Fotokopi "Fraksiyona veguheztin bi jimara gerdûnî" û "Hejmara gerdûnî bi perçeyek veguherînin"). Guh bidin peyamê, fotokopî bixwînin û rahênanên xwe bikin. Li bendê bimînin. Tîma ELIX .امروز معلم ما دستورالعمل هایی را برای مشق شب که به نوجوانان داده می شود به شما می دهد (فتوکپی های "Μετατροπή κλάσματος در کاهش تعداد" و "Μετατροπή کاهش می یابد در تعداد کلاس"). به ضبط گوش دهید و همزمان فتوکپی ها را بخوانید و تکالیف را انجام دهید. در ارتباط باشید و لذت ببرید. تیم الیکس

Download your worksheet here: www.elix.org.gr/en/press-announcements/elix-podcast-classes-for-kids-distant-learning/#k27 Try to solve the mathematical riddles and find which number fits in each shape. Today our teacher gives you instructions for the homework given to kids (photocopies "Μαθηματικοί γρίφοι" ). Listen to the recording and at the same time read the photocopies and do the homework. Stay connected and enjoy! ELIX team Λύνω τους μαθηματικούς γρίφους και βρίσκω τους αριθμούς για το κάθε σχήμα! Σήμερα η δασκάλα σου δίνει οδηγίες για τις ασκήσεις που έχεις για το σπίτι (Φωτοτυπίες "Μαθηματικοί γρίφοι"). Άκουσε το μήνυμα, διάβασε τις φωτοτυπίες και κάνε τις ασκήσεις σου. Μείνε συντονισμένος. Η ομάδα της ΕΛΙΞ .أحلّ ألغاز الرياضيات وأوجد الأرقام لكل شكل! تقدم لك المدرسّة اليوم إرشادات حول التمارين التي لديك للمنزل (نسخ مصورة "ألغاز رياضية"). استمع إلى الرسالة واقرأ النسخ وقم بتمارينك. ترقب. فريق اليكس ELIX. Ez puzzleên bîrkariyê çareser dikim û ji bo her teşe hejmaran peyda dikim! Ayro mamoste ji bo rahênanên ku hûn ji bo malê hene talîmatan dide we (Fotokopi "Puzzles Matematîkî"). Guh bidin peyamê, fotokopî bixwînin û rahênanên xwe bikin. Li bendê bimînin. Tîma ELIX من معماهای ریاضی را حل می کنم و اعداد مربوط به هر شکل را پیدا می کنم! امروز معلم به شما دستورالعمل هایی را برای تمرینات شما برای خانه می دهد (فتوکپی "معماهای ریاضی"). به پیام گوش دهید ، فتوکپی ها را بخوانید و تمرینات خود را انجام دهید. گوش به زنگ باشید. تیم الیکس.

Guh leh tang nate nek ding te // Health talk.Kawikawi + Et lawm calvary // chin gospel songs.

Today our teacher is reading to you the book "To kati allo". Listen to the narration of the book. Stay connected and enjoy. ELIX team. Σήμερα η δασκάλα μας διαβάζει το βιβλίο "Το κάτι άλλο". Άκου την αφήγηση του βιβλίου. Παραμείνετε συντονισμένοι. Η ομάδα της ΕΛΙΞ .اليوم تقوم مدرّستنا بقراءة كتاب "To kati allo" "الشيء الآخر". استمع لرواية الكتاب. ابق على اتصال واستمتع. فريق آليكس. Aujourd'hui, notre professeur te lit l'histoire "To kati allo". Écoute la narration de l'histoire. Reste connecté et profite ! L'équipe d'ELIX امروز معلم ما کتاب "To kati allo" را برای شما می خواند. روایت کتاب را گوش کنید. در ارتباط باشید و لذت ببرید. تیم الیکس. Ayro mamosteyê me pirtûka "Tiştek din" dixwîne. Guh bidin çîroka pirtûkê. Tunûna xwe bimîne. Tîmê ELIX.

Today our teacher is reading to you the book "My Hero is You". Listen the narration of the book. Stay connected and enjoy. ELIX team. Σήμερα η δασκάλα μας διαβάζει το βιβλίο "My Hero is You". Άκου την αφήγηση του βιβλίου. Παραμείνετε συντονισμένοι. Η ομάδα της ΕΛΙΞ. اليوم تقرأ مدرّستنا لك كتاب "بطلي هو أنت". استمع لرواية الكتاب. ابق على اتصال واستمتع. فريق آليكس Aujourd'hui, notre professeur te lit l'histoire "Mon héro c'est toi". Écoute la narration de l'histoire. Reste connecté et profite ! L'équipe d'ELIX امروز معلم ما کتاب "قهرمان من تو هستی" را برای شما می خواند. روایت کتاب را گوش کنید. در ارتباط باشید و لذت ببرید. تیم الیکس. Ayro mamosteyê me pirtûka "lehengê min tu î"dixwîne. Guh bidin çîroka pirtûkê. Tunûna xwe bimîne. Tîmê ELIX.

Guh leh tang ading tan huai an te // Health talk.Kawikawi + Tang thu ngaih pen + Topa ka nop na // chin gospel songs.

Macauley Culkin? Nope.  The wet bandits? Nope.  Catherine O'Hara? Negative.  This movie should have never been made.  I don't know who thought this up but they should be beaten with a remote control car and buried in a snow bank somewhere.  Home Alone 3 seems like a coke fueled idea that got forced on some unsuspecting movie executive.  Guh!

Axe Chat is back! What more do you need to know. Really? Guh... FINE. This week we pay a visit to Elmer's new "home of the future", watch as Sylvester joins a cult of his own, and find out a little more about Bugs' true home. Also, we help LeBron James meet one of his heroes. Maybe if we scratch his back, he'll save the earth from Basketball Aliens next year. Twitter! / Facebook! / Patreon! / Podchaser!

Guh https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/dpnzup/i_recorded_todays_marketopen_and_the_instant/

Nintendo delivered a bigger Direct than expected. And now this episode is bigger than expected. Guh huh! Check us out on Patreon for all sorts of goodies, like a Patron-exclusive podcast, deleted scenes and bonus content, and access to our exclusive Discord channel: www.patreon.com/beepboopgroup/

The party reaches the end of a harrowing combat encounter with cursed Guh, but not all come out unscathed. Will the party reach a lifeboat, or is their ship about to sink? Listen and find out. Starring: Josh Pierce - Arlo (Forest Gnome Druid) Zenas Breslin - Grim (Aasimar Grave Cleric) Brice Pierce - Jack Law (High Elf Rogue) Keith Millender – DM Map: imgur.com/a/SfUiGw6 Follow us @tankmediagames If you like our show and want to help support us in making it better, consider becoming a patron at patreon.com/tankmedianetwork

The party remains enthralled in the Ship battle with cursed Guh and the Orc Soldiers. Bodies get tossed, and lots of things die. Starring: Josh Pierce - Arlo (Forest Gnome Druid) Zenas Breslin - Grim (Aasimar Grave Cleric) Brice Pierce - Jack Law (High Elf Rogue) Keith Millender – DM Map: https://imgur.com/a/SfUiGw6 Follow us @tankmediagames If you like our show and want to help support us in making it better, consider becoming a patron at patreon.com/tankmedianetwork

After refusing to give Guh his book back, the party takes a snooze only to be awoken by a commotion on the deck of the ship. Battle soon ensues. Starring: Josh Pierce - Arlo (Forest Gnome Druid) Zenas Breslin - Grim (Aasimar Grave Cleric) Brice Pierce - Jack Law (High Elf Rogue) Keith Millender – DM Map: https://imgur.com/a/SfUiGw6 Follow us @tankmediagames If you like our show and want to help support us in making it better, consider becoming a patron at patreon.com/tankmedianetwork

This week, the twins were joined by rapper Odd Mojo. Tune in as she shares her journey as a MC, the importance of mental health awareness, and discusses her upcoming project, "GUH". Odd Mojo closes out with an exclusive live performance of "Sticky Notes".

The party sets up a meeting with Guh in the cargo hold, but what they end up meeting is not what they thought it would be. Starring: Josh Pierce - Arlo (Forest Gnome Druid) Zenas Breslin - Grim (Aasimar Grave Cleric) Brice Pierce - Jack Law (High Elf Rogue) Keith Millender – DM Map: https://imgur.com/a/SfUiGw6 Follow us @tankmediagames If you like our show and want to help support us in making it better, consider becoming a patron at patreon.com/tankmedianetwork

"Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office. It's a drug. It is quite literally a drug that speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. You hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the eighties before everybody knew how bad cocaine was. Guh! Man, did they move paper!" Rob and Dan discuss "Hot Girl", the sixth episode of season one. Rob's comin' in hot in this episode of Amy Adams Info Hour...er...Out of Paper after a brief visit to the 'promise land'. Join Rob and Dan as they get bucked up, Rob's episode one theory is disproved much to Dan's delight, and they discuss their next business move into the world of scents with the product idea Parfum d'Night Sweat. They also meet Mindy Kaling, Amy Heckerling and Amy Adams!   Social Media Links Facebook Twitter more added shortly

Guh, KohNar Ahloh

Nesse episódio, Rai, Guh e Wil se reúnem pra falar sobre os Memes e as Gírias que fazem parte do dia a dia, e que vem se tornando uma nova forma de linguagem. O CVV – Centro de Valorização da Vida realiza apoio emocional e prevenção do suicídio, atendendo voluntária e gratuitamente todas as pessoas que querem e precisam conversar, sob total sigilo por telefone, e-mail e chat 24 horas todos os dias. https://www.cvv.org.br/ Tell: 188 Você não está sozinho, só não achou as pessoas certas ainda. SIGA o Não Podcast nas redes sociais: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/naopodcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naopodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/onaopodcast/ Canal do YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2VCUTSOL1yAPePoxwVr_ag

Varje dag säger vi saker till oss själva, medvetet eller omedvetet. "Guh vad jobbigt det är att diska.", "Teknik är krångligt, jag är alldeles för gammal." Genom att omformulera sina "affirmationer" kan man få en annan attityd till vardagliga problem och ta sig igenom prokrastination. Exempel: Om du har svårt att ta dig upp på morgonen: "Idag, hoppar jag av energi och skrattar av ren glädje." Om du inte känner att du är i kontroll: "Jag är arkitekten i mitt liv; Jag bygger en stadig grund och bestämmer vad som ska skapas på den."

"Depois de uma calorosa discussão sobre os trailers da Comic-Con, Rai, Guh e Wil se reúnem mais uma vez pra falar sobre os Fã boys, Ah os fã boys..." SIGA o Não Pod nas redes sociais: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/naopodcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/naopodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/onaopodcast/ Canal do YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2VCUTSOL1yAPePoxwVr_ag Segue os Não Podcasters nas redes sociais: Rai Ferreira Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rainer.ferreira.5/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/raiferrera/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raiferrera/ SnapChat: newrai Guh Horta: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ogustavohorta/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ogustavohorta/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ogustavohorta/ Snapchat: gv_silva Will Viana: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/willvianax/ Instagram: https: //www.instagram.com/willvianax/ Email: willvianax@gmail.com

Guh why can't I just sleep for 8 hours what:s your deal bro!?

Guests: Aaron Keim, Phil Doleman, Mary Agnes Krell, Hosts: Stuart Yoshida, Doug Brown Welcome to Springtime in the Rockies! We muscled through the winter, survived the change to daylight savings time, and we’re here with returning guests Aaron Keim, Phil Doleman, and Mary Agnes Krell to talk about ukulele strings for busking, beginner workshops, Guh-nuf 2018, and so much more! So stay right here… for the OokTown Podcast. This is the OokTown Podcast, Episode 65, recorded March 25, 2018. “Go See Robots Fighting Monsters.” Shout-outs to: * Ian Patterson (Follow The Dolphin) - thanks for your message, I’ll keep you in mind for a spot on the show * Mark Walser at the Fort Lewis Mesa Elementary School and Music For Life for bringing ukuleles into the classroom! * Listener and budding busker Wesley Cheney - buzzing 'A' string & wants more robust strings for playing outdoors * Patchen Uchiyama with Luthiers For A Cause Phil Doleman: * New CD "Skin & Bones”: www.phildoleman.co.uk * Sore Fingers Bluegrass & Old Time School: http://sorefingers.co.uk/ Mary Agnes Krell: * GNUF: northernuke.com * UK Beast from the East: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/mar/24/easter-snow-likely-as-beast-from-the-east-returns-for-third-time Aaron Keim: * Quiet American: Quietamericanmusic.com * Bean Sprout Ukuleles: Thebeansprout.com Doug Brown: * website: http://den-uke.com/ Links: * Mr. B Gentleman Rhymer: http://www.gentlemanrhymer.com/ * Pacific Rim Uprising: https://youtu.be/8BAhwgjMvnM

Welp. We can't call it an "Episode" but we can still call it a "posting"...can't we?A fun little visit to vocalize an excuse I made up while in the shower as to why there isn't a new episode of The Stuff N Things Podcast this week.Also...Note to self: Before renaming your podcast, you may want to GOOGLE SEARCH "Stuff N Things" to SEE IF THERE'S ALREADY A PODCAST CALLED "STUFF AND THINGS"! So...it may be more than just a week before another episode...Guh.Reach out:Email:thevoiceofsteve@yahoo.comFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/stuffnthingspodcast/

The SNV boys are feeling lazy. GUH! So we got another MGV episode! Call it a valentine's special? Anyway, Shaun Hayes (The Whiparound podcast) chats about the badass vampire flick from Kathryn Bigelow! Check out the Whiparound podcast on iTunes. Then follow them on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook! www.thewhiparoundpodcast.com Dir. Kathryn Bigelow, 1987. Starring Lance Henrickson, Bill Paxton, Jenny Wright, and Adrian Pasdar. TopgallantRadio.com - Radio for sailors

GYMTERNET NEWS First, Jessica has two op-eds out, one in HuffPo and one in the LA Times—which you MUST read otherwise we can't be friends anymore. Also, we explain why you might see that Nassar interview showing up in your feeds this week. BUT THEN: Clarifications about the February verification at LSU regarding chaperones, compensation, and reimbursement WOGA is in trouuuuuuuuble for its handling of sexual abuse complaints Aly says Geddert might have known in 2011. He's also facing a criminal investigation. Oh, look how that worked out.  The House of Representatives is initiating an investigation into all the major players. Spencer and Jessica have dreams about what comes next.  GUH. FRAN. COME ON.  MSU might actually fire someone. Whaaaaaaa? The FIG president issues a plan to address sexual abuse. What Jessica thinks his fashion choices tell us about his intentions. The Oleg Verniaiev interview that must be read to be believed. MEET NEWS Is UCLA for real? Is Florida...going to be for real? Ivy Lu is the best bars worker you've never seen Kennedy Baker got a 10! We compare her "piked" Dos Santos to the OG "layout" Dos Santos. Crack or Correct: Should Myia Hambrick be getting 10s? The most hilarious overscore of the week. Plus, Alex McMurtry's DTY scores. Brenna Dowell did beam exhibition, and it was AMAZING. Could Romania have a bars solution? Aliya did bars and beam exhibition in France, and we're making 1700 plans for her life. English Championships! Ellie Downie is back! Amy Tinkler and Claudia Fragapane are basically bars specialists now Georgia-Mae Fenton is bringing throwback Valdez realness on beam FEEDBACK Triceratops hair The overtraining epidemic among the littles A new listener (you might recognize) is almost, kind of obsessed with us Stacey Ervin tries out for WWE. Jessica dies.  JESSICA LIES The virtues of the national camps Hypocrisy from college coaches?!?!?! Never! Mother Earth tries to sabotage Khorkina A special Jessica RAGE-O-METER about broadcasting gymnastics  SUPPORT THE SHOW Join Club Gym Nerd here. Buy one of our awesome clothing and gifts here. MY GYM JUDGE MyGymJudge bridges the gap between you and the judges! It’s simple. Go to www.mygymjudge.com, submit a video of your routines, and receive detailed analysis from one of our incredible judges. My Gym Judge sets out to empower athletes, coaches, and parents with the knowledge to both UNDERSTAND their scores and HOW to improve upon them. Their certified judges include judges who judge at Olympic Trials and World Championships, like Chellsie Memmel and Loana Cruz! GO to www.mygymjudge.com today and use the code GC20 to receive a 20% discount! NORBERT'S This episode is brought to you by Norbert’s athletic products. February's special deal is a Pink and Purple panel mat, delivered to you with free shipping for $199. Check out that and all their other equipment at norberts.net. RELATED EPISODES 290: Valeri Is Out 289: 175 Years 288: Ding Dong The Ranch Is Dead 287: Simone and Maggie Too 282: GymCastic Book Club – Fierce, by Aly Raisman 281.5: Aly Raisman Comes Forward As Nassar Victim 277.5: McKayla Maroney Alleges Abuse from Nassar 257: The Daniels Report 254: Vanessa Atler 245: Steve Penny is GONE 243: Senate Bill 534 242: Standards 241: The Pittsburgh Incident 232: Conflict of Interest 227: Jane Doe2 Sues Karolyis 221: Jane Doe vs. USAG Doctor 187: McKayla Maroney 88: Rhonda Faehn & Mackenzie Caquatto  

Introducing Afro-Pop & Afrobeats Music Into The 30 Minute Mash Up Series! Featuring music from artists such as Wande Koal, Maleek Berry, Magnito, Korede Bello & more!!

Chocolate From Kingston Radio 06.09.2017 || #nowahala New show with nuff fresh Reggae & Dancehallmusic featuring riddims like: Dub Play It, Reggae Sax, Come Back Darling, Pineapple Sunrise, One Chance, Mix Baby, Malibu, Golden, Genna Bounce, 1 Guh. Also introducing new albums like: Samory I - Black Gold, Damian Marley - Stony Hill, New Kingston - A Kingston Story Come From Far, Lutan Fyah - African Be Proud, Ginjah - Roots and much more! http://chocolatefromkingstonradio.ch

Danny and Andrew go back to the roots of ACTION RPGs (Role Playing Games) and travel to the land of Ys. (Pronounced EEss, like Geese but without the Guh)

The real secret to converting with funnels… Today's episode is part 3 of a 3 part series of Russell speaking at a $100k event where he taught about the psychology of funnels. Here are some of the things you will hear in part 3: Some tips and tricks when it comes to building funnels. What the cardinal rule of upsells is and some of the things that will help convert an upsell. He also gives some cool tips for using Facebook Live. So listen below to find out how to make your funnels awesome and successful. ---Transcript--- Russell Brunson:               All right, so now we're going to … Cause now, like everyone … I'm the funnel guy, so let's talk about funnels, right? Now that we've got the foundation stuff out of the way, so then it comes to how do we build the funnel? I lost … There's the lid. For me, the funnel … Everyone thinks there's some magic. I have people all the time like, “Hey Russell. Do you have an MLM funnel you can give me, so I can grow my MLM?” I have a funnel that's worked for someone I can give you. “Hey, I'm doing this.” I give them the book funnel. I was snickering yesterday. Everyone's like, “I need your book funnel. [inaudible 00:46:27] book funnel to work.” It's like, well kind of. Y'all have the funnel now. That's the framework. What makes it work is this stuff we talked about, right? The pieces don't change. My funnels are not complicated If you look at my funnels versus, I have friends who like to brag about the complexity of their funnels. They're insane. My funnels are so simple. They're usually four or five pages and that's it. It's, very simple. My thing, I think … In fact, I was at a Infusion Soft thingy and I was watching these guys and they had all of their … These guys were building all of these funnels that had like a billion different segments and all this stuff. You know those Infusion Soft charts, that show all the thing … I was just sick to my stomach. I'm like, “Guh.” They're like, “Yeah, well if they click here, then it takes them this sequence. If they don't, they take them to here and then if they've done this thing for three days and they haven't done this and then they go here and …” All this stuff and I was just like … They have a billion different branches. I'm looking at that, I'm like, “You know the problem with that, is I have no idea what the crap to fix if something's broken. There's so may things. I want five or six variables max I want my cost per ad, I want my landing page conversion, I want my sales thingy. I want four or five things and I'm going to go and spend a thousand bucks driving ads. I'm going to stop and look at it and be like, “Okay, cool. It's one of these five things that's broken. Maybe two of them. Let's fix just those.” You've got a thing that's got 8,000 sequences. I can not make it better. What's more important, is become better at selling. Me getting better at telling a story is better than 8.000 segmentations of lists. I'll make way more money by becoming better at telling my story, than I ever will from the third, the guy that didn't click on email 13, send him this one instead and then send this one at two in the morning and then. Holy crap. Just sell yourself better and that's worth a million times more than that, right? I make them simple. All my … Everyone's cheering back here, “Yay, simple funnels.” My stuff's all very, very, very simple, but I've become a master at understanding this. The opportunity switch to the opportunity stack. I'm just going to talk about a book funnel, but this could be any funnel. Does not matter. The first thing I'm looking at is that is, what is the opportunity switch. There's going to be a video of me telling a story about the opportunity switch. With my book funnel, I'm telling a story about my book, my epiphany story about how I had an opportunity switch and how this book is going to give you that same thing as well. Right? That's the key. That's the magic. If I'm doing a webinar, what am I doing? Telling a story about my opportunity switch, tell the epiphany story. They have the same epiphany, they're sold. I don't have to sell them anymore. If I'm selling supplements, same thing. Tell them the story, how did my epiphany pitch. It doesn't matter what it is. That's the key, is I'm telling a really good story about how I had my epiphany, and if I do the job right, they'll have the same epiphany and then they'll buy the first product. From there, it's coming and the biggest thing most marketers do, when they start creating their upsale, downsale sequences is like, “Okay, what else do we have on the shelf we can sell them? Okay, they bought my book. Let's sell them, I don't know, some other random thing.” Or, they bought the book. Let me sell them more of that same kind of thing. Now, in supplement world, this is like the default. E-commerce/supplements, it's kind of like remember A-E-I-O-U and sometimes I and W, or E and W or whatever that is. There's two times this rule breaks. In supplements and e-commerce, whatever I sell on the first phase, if I sell supplements, I sell three bottles, my upsell's always six bottles of the exact same crap. If I sell e-commerce, we just did a campaign for Fiber Fix. Three Fiber Fix, I'm upselling a crap ton more Fiber Fix. It's e-commerce and supplements, you sell more of the same thing on the next page. Only time you do that. In information products, that will kill you. First time I really got this, it was when we launched our 108 Split Test book, which was kind of ironic, because the whole book's about split test. We launched this book and the landing page converted and non of the upsells did and I was so pissed. I'm like. “Why is this not working?” I retweaked this offer probably 12 times. I changed the video, changed the pitch, changed the offer, changed the thing, the thing, the thing. I'm like, “Why is nobody buying this crap?” The main thing I was selling was, they bought a book on split tests, and my upsell was this whole course on split testing. I'm like, “This is all the cool stuff you need. You told me you wanted split testing. I'm selling you more split testing. Why are you not buying that?” I had one of my friends, who went to my funnel and bought it and he texted me. He's like, he said, “Hey man. Cool book. Thanks for the book.” Then he's like, “I bet your upsell is not converting.” I was like … I didn't tell anyone, cause the conversion, that's my thing. Like, “Why would you say that?” He's like, “Ah, I can just tell.” I'm like, “Well, I'm just curious. Why would you assume that?” Anyway, he shot … it's Tim Erway, if any of you guys who know him. He shot me this message, he's like, “Dude, cause you did the cardinal fail of upsales.” I was like, “All right. Yeah. What was the cardinal rule again?” He told me, he said, “When somebody buys your first product …” Think about it. Let's say it's My Gear, The Truth About Abs, right? I want abs so bad, right. I buy Truth About Abs. My mind, as a consumer, I'm like, “I've got abs. That itch has been scratched.” And I'm like, “Ah sweet, I got abs. Whew.” Then here it's like, “Hey, I'm going to give you workout videos, so you can get abs.” Like, “Dude, I already got abs. I just bought them. They're … It's done. My itch has been scratched.” He's like, “When people buy your split test book, in their mind, that itch has been scratched. It's done. Nothing you do will get people to buy more of that.” I was like, “But they raised their hand as people interested in split tests.” Nope, that itch has been scratched. He's like, “You've got to look at, you just did an opportunity switch. What is the next thing they need to be more successful with that? What's the stack? What's the next logical thing?” I was like, for me I was like, “Well, if they scratched their itch on conversion, conversion's awesome, but they're only coming to the website and then they're kind of screwed, right?' For me, it was traffic was the next thing. We shifted that to a what's the opportunity stack. Now you know how to make your pages convert, now let's get people to actually show up. Switched it and stacked the next opportunity. Boom. I was like, “Crap, that was so easy.” Now everyone in my funnel's [inaudible 00:52:17] the psychology of, okay. First lead is the switch. Now we've got them believing … This is why I love free book offers. Why I like low end things, because the lower the barriers initially … All I have to get them to do is to raise their hand and say, “Yes, I'm going to buy your book.” By saying that, they've subconsciously sold themselves on like, “I have now switched off on the opportunity. This is now my future. I'm a guy who has six pack abs.” They've made that switch. You know, as soon as you pull a credit card out of your wallet, you are voting. That's why, we don't do customer service and crap, cause I don't care. We get people to vote with their credit card, cause that's the only thing I actually believe. Every time we do focus groups and all that kind of crap, people give you whatever … I only care about people voting with their credit card. As soon as they pull a credit card out of their wallet, they have voted that this is the opportunity that they are buying in to. They're done. The next thing is just like, “Okay, you've already bought in to this now.” That's why I like making this first opportunity as low barrier, as easy, because as soon as I get them to sell, subconsciously they're 100% in. Now the stacks become easy. Like, “Hey, you got this. Now you need this.” People always ask me, “Well how many upsells should I have? What should be the price points on it? Duh, duh, duh, duh.” It has nothing to do with price points, it has nothing to do … None of that crap matters. People are like, “Well, should I go from free to 97 to 290. What's the …” Everyone worries about that. It has nothing to do with that. It has 100% to do with, what's the next logical thing this customer needs to have success in the new opportunity I just gave them? This might be a $25,000 offer, if it makes sense. If that's the next logical thing that they need, or it might be $37. Price point does not matter. It's the logical sequencing of the offers that is the key. That's what makes any funnel work, is the logical sequencing of offers. Speaker 10:        May I ask a question? Russell Brunson:               Yes. Speaker 10:        With the opportunity switch, is that more emotional and then the opportunity stack is more logical? Russell Brunson:               I don't think anything logical sells. [inaudible 00:54:11] why I think logically, there's still emotion. Speaker 10:        Well you know, you've got this … You've got emotion and logic here. Is that [inaudible 00:54:18] the epiphany bridge? Russell Brunson:               Yes. Yes, sorry. Yeah, so the emotional part's the [inaudible 00:54:28], the logical part … Logical's like that how they explain to their wife [inaudible 00:54:33] buy something for 25,000, $100,000. How do I explain to my wife like, “Yeah. I spent a hundred grand to go on this thing, because it's going to be really good for my … No, I just want to hang out with me and Joe and everyone.” Right? We emotionally get bought in, but I'm still always selling from emotion. I'll talk about logical, the logical justifications in the videos and stuff like that. It's still emotional. Speaker 10:        [inaudible 00:54:54] emotional [inaudible 00:54:55] stack. Russell Brunson:               Yeah, I think so. Speaker 10:        How do you extend that story, that epiphany story [crosstalk 00:54:59]. Russell Brunson:               New story. New story. Speaker 10:        It's a new story? Russell Brunson:               Yeah, so it's like here's split testing. Like, cool. Let me tell you a story. After I got … I'm sending this book out to you in the mail. You guys are going to go crazy for it, cause it's going to show you split testing. For me, when I started to get in to split testing, I was really excited, but the problem was, I didn't really have traffic coming to my website. I was doing a split test, like three people come. You can't actually … It doesn't help.” I start going in to the whole story. Speaker 10:        A new epiphany. Russell Brunson:               Yes. Speaker 10:        You're sharing. Russell Brunson:               Yeah. Speaker 10:        Okay. Gotcha. Russell Brunson:               Sometimes multiple epiphanies. I'm telling as many stories as I need, to get that idea across. Speaker 10:        Okay. Russell Brunson:               How many stories do you think I've told in the last hour, so far? Speaker 10:        A lot. Russell Brunson:               Anyway. The more, the merrier. It's not like, what's my one epiphany bridge story. Usually, it can be multiple. Any time I explain something that's confusing, I've got to step back again, “Well, it's kind of like millions of motivational speakers running through your blood. That's what ketones are.” Okay, and I keep moving forward. Okay, so like I said, some upsells, there's one thing, cause that's the only logical thing they have. Some upsells, there's two. Some upsells, I have one thing and I have a downsell. It matters less to me what it is and more tome just, what makes sense for this customer that's on this path? I remember reading the Emyth 12 years ago, and one of the initial things he talked about is the process of somebody walks in to a store. Last week, my wife wanted to go to the mall, cause we were going on a cruise in two days and she wanted to get some new clothes. I hate going to the mall, but I love GNC. That's my … I love supplements. I take more supplements than I should, every day. I love it, right? I go to GNC and, the thing I hate about GNC though … How many of you has been in to a GNC? What happens as soon as you walk in? They just pounce on you, it's like, “Ahh [inaudible 00:56:30]” I hate it, so I take a breath like, “Okay.” I walk through the door and within like one step, the girl comes out, “oh, blah blah.” I'm just like going through this pain like, “What are you looking for? What do you want? What do you need?” I'm like, “I just want to look at supplements. Leave me alone.” Then it's like finally, that horrible pain's gone and she leaves me. Okay. I can start looking, right? I'm remembering the E-myth and thinking about, I love GNC but I always have this pain going in, because the process is so weird. I start looking at … I became obsessed with this. Everywhere I go, it drives my wife nuts. We're going through anything and the way a waiter pitches me, depends on what I'll buy and what I'll tip them. I want to get sold. I'm obsessed with the process of everything, from offline funnels to online funnels to everything that's happening. For me, I'm just looking at that like, “Imagine that you're your customer, okay, and they come here. What's going to capture them, like a really good video. You're going to cut out the techno babble. You're going to tell a really good story, that's going to be exciting, it's going to be visually good, it's not going to be me against a white wall, trying to be boring. I'm going to find a good background and make it look visually stimulating, so it's cool. I'm going to tell a story that captivates them and make then=m an offer that's so irresistible. It's a new opportunity that's going to change their life, and that's what we do here.” Then I'm like, “Okay, they bought the book.” How can I serve them the best? What's the next thing I can do to serve this person the most? It should be this. Do I have a product that does that? No, and that's what I need to make them. I need to make a product that does that, cause it's all about, how do we serve our people at the highest level. That's more important than “I've got a whole bunch of products. What do I plug in and where do they go and should this be the upsell?” No, think about the process. If you're walking in to GNC, if was walking in to GNC, I would change the whole process to like, “Hey, welcome to GNC. Here's a free power bar. Let me know if you need anything.” I'd have been like “Huh.” Eating a power bar, I'd buy four times as much stuff. I'd be going through things. I would just be focusing on that customer journey, what's happening through the process. For you guys, that's the way to think through this. Think like, someone buys this like, “Oh man. It's kind of expensive and we ship them out DVDs and all this stuff.” Maybe some people don't want DVDs. Maybe they don't have a DVD player. Maybe I'll downsell them. Maybe they just want a digital version. Maybe that would be my downsell, is a digital version, cause that's probably what they'd want. I'm looking logically, like what makes the most sense to them. If you can craft that, that's the magic. That's how you get a funnel that converts and how you make it work awesome. Speaker 10:        On that first page, how long generally … Do you have a time frame of the ideal video length? Three minutes, 45 minutes. Russell Brunson:               This is what … Speaker 10:        Or does size really matter? Russell Brunson:               One of my professors told me one time, he's like, “It needs to be … it's like a girl's skirt. It needs to be long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to still be interesting.” That's my gauge I my mind, always. If it's getting boring and long, then I … But I don't have a timeline. How long does it take me, take the story, where it's still engaging? It might be three minutes, it might be 20 minutes. If I tell a good story, people will sit there. That's more important. Yeah. There is a duration to the price of the thing I'm selling and how long it is. If it's a free book offer, I don't have to do a lot to get people to take that, but still need to get them to buy in to this, or else the upsells won't convert. A lot of times you see people book offers, “Get my free book. It's amazing. You're going to love it. It's free. Ahh.” That may work good for getting people to buy initially, but it kills you everything back here, cause they're not bought in to the opportunity switch. If you can get them to buy the opportunity switch, then everything else increases, from the rest of it on. Any other questions about that stuff at all? Cool. Then the last piece of this … Oh yeah. Speaker 11:        Where does the traffic primarily come from? Russell Brunson:               Cool. All right. The last piece of this. Traffic all over the place, but I want to show you guys what's working the best for us right now. On the last page right here. This is Anthony DeClemente. He is one of my buddies. He owns this company, biohacking stuff. We started, we're starting an online reality show called Funnel Hacker TV, just cause we want to … Without people … I wish we had like five hours, I could talk about more of this. For our customers, to build the whole culture, the biggest thing that we got to do is believe. Get these guys to believe in this right here. What I do, I do a lot of stuff to show belief. Friday we do a show called the Friday Funnel show, where I'm building an entire funnel in 30 minutes and I show them over and over and over again that I drink my own Kool-Aid. That I'm actually doing this. It's like the biggest thing for sales we've ever done. We do, we built this reality show, where basically each week, we pick an entrepreneur that's got a really cool product and we take them, figure out the product, the offers, build the thing and launch it. He's episode number one that's coming out. He had no list, no following, switching markets to a whole completely different thing, but he's just really good at what he did. We had him write a book. This whole campaign went from zero. I'm saying, you don't have to have a big following for this to work. This went from zero. In the last six weeks, we sold 8,000 copies of his book. He just finished his very first biohacking week in Chicago, had a whole bunch of people pay a crap ton of money to come out there and go through the experience and this whole business went from zero to it'll do a couple million bucks, yeah number one. All just from this. No other traffic source except for this. As you start going further down the cold, it's different, but for most people, you can build really good off of this. Facebook live, Facebook loves us right now. They are wanting all of us to do it, so what we do, and I'll kind of give you Anthony for example. He's got a book funnel. Some questions like what's the message? What's the best Facebook ad? I don't know. I have no idea what message is going to be right. Everyone responds to different things. What, Anthony I said, “First thing he has to do is, every single day you have to do a Facebook live video on a different topic. Every single day, for the rest of your life.” He's like, “But I don't know if I have enough ideas.” I don't care. Every single day for the rest of your life. That's your only job, is to make a Facebook live video. What he did was he made a first Facebook live video and I was like, “It's biohacking. Do the weird crap. Get things with lasers up your nose and all sorts of weird stuff and that'll be your Facebook live.” Then he did that and nobody cared. We did another one, and nobody cared. Then we did another one. We found out that about one out of 10 does what we call force virals. One out of 10, and what's weird is, it's usually the message that I think is the stupidest message ever. The first video we had that went force viral, the title of it was How to Biohack Your Vegetables. It was like, “Hey.” He's cooking, he's like, “What you do is you put butter in your vegetables and it's biohacked now.” It got like two or three million views and sold hundreds and hundreds of copies of the book. I was like, I thought the cools ones with the lasers in his eyes and ears would be the cool thing, but no. It's never what you think. We build a marketing campaign, we focus on one thing and it's the wrong one, it's like no. Do a Facebook live every single day for the rest of your life, on a different message and you'll find what the market actually cares about. What things they do. It's a consistency thing. Over and over and over again. Here's a couple things on Anthony's, just printed out a guide to help you guys, cause there was a lot of questions on it yesterday. The main thing is again, profile picture has a huge thing to do with people actually being part of it. The name should not be a company. People do not want to engage in companies and they do not want to share things from companies, they want to engage with you, the attractive character. The ult leader. All the headlines are super easy. They're things that are shareable, so it's not too complex. It's like, ,”Hey cool, how to biohack your vegetable. How to …” What was this one? “How to biohack, detox and get a flatter midsection.” There's a simple call to action with the URL that's not clickfunnels.com/1234/ … It's something that's also benefit driven, like biohackers guide. It's like, “Oh cool. There's the guide. Speaker 12:        Do you boost these or no? Russell Brunson:               Yeah, I'll talk about that in a sec. Speaker 12:        And you can boost with a URL? You can do that? Okay Russell Brunson:               Yep. I'll talk about kind of that strategy here in a second. Can the video structure, typically this is the structure. They're usually three to five minute videos. The first 15 seconds is like, “Hey. I'm Anthony DeClemente.” Then, if you have a cold like me, so I'm, “Hey, I'm Russell Brunson. My fellow funnel hackers, I want to talk to you about whatever.” Calling them out. Then the next thing is, this is … We ask people to share like, “Hey, if you like this video, at the end of it if you can please share it, that way I know if you like this content, and I'll make more like this. If you don't like it, don't share it and I just won't make any more like this.” Some people are like, that's how they're voting if they like it, by sharing. Which is huge. The first 15 seconds, we tell them to share it if they like it, we ask them to do a favor like, “Hey, if you thought this was awesome, share it. That way I know.” Huge thing. Then, four minutes of teaching. I would say teaching/telling epiphany bridge stories is more important. Telling a good story. The end of it, a call to action to whatever it is your front end things is. “Go get my free books.” Anthony, every single day, he's showing one biohack, and then “Hey, go get my book Biohackersguide. Com.” Then down here, the very first post … As soon as he starts a video … When you first do a video , first it goes out to your fan page, right? Anthony has zero people on his fan page, the first probably hundred videos, right? Nobody was there. He just did it, and then as soon as it's done, then what our guys will do, they'll come in the very first post. We try to post the link to the actual offer, so that everyone sees that initially. It's pulls in a picture of the product, stuff like that. Somebody manually is adding that in. Now, because he's got more of a following, as soon as he starts a thing, someone goes in and posts it really quick as the first comment, so it sticks there, then it goes live. What we do is typically, for each of these videos it goes live, we put about five bucks behind it, just to see what's going to happen. If you've got more of an audience initially, you don't put money behind it. If you have zero audience initially, you put about five to 10 bucks behind it, just to see which ones get some traction. Then as soon as one thing gets traction, the way that we judge traction is right here, is the ration. It's the 1% share to view ratio. How many people viewed it and how many people shared it? As soon as you get 1% share/view, we call that internally it's a force to viral video, which means I can spend as much money as I want and it's going to go viral and it's going to make us a bunch of money. About one out of 10 hit that number, and then we dump as much money as we want or can or need to behind that and it'll just kind of blow up. For me, this is … the biggest thing I can give you guys is this. Speaker 12:        Is the 1% based off of views? Russell Brunson:               It's the ratio of views to shares. Speaker 12:        Views to shares. Russell Brunson:               This video's got 1.4 million views. Its got 10,000 shares, so it's 1%. Speaker 12:        [inaudible 01:06:19] Russell Brunson:               Huh? Speaker 12:        [inaudible 01:06:23] Russell Brunson:               We're not mathematicians, we're marketers. You are definitely way smarter than me. It looks like one to me. It's a ball park. If it's close, we're going to blow it up. That's kind of about what we're looking at. Then we can promote it. What's cool about this, if you think about everything we talked about earlier, right? We talked about traffic temperature up here, right? What's cool about these videos is that, every video, you're learning what people respond to and what they don't respond to. We realize like, “Wow, they actually care about biohacking vegetables. Let's do more things like that, cause they shared it.” You're able to speak to different times. You can speak sometimes in techno babble and you're going to boost … It may not do as good, but you're going to boost it to different audience. For me, I might do a Facebook live talking about funnels for network marketers and I do it and nobody on my page cares, but now that video, that ad's done and my guy will blow up all the network marketing companies, and then boom. We get all the network marketers to come underneath us. I might do one, funnels for real estate agents. Funnels for … I'm just, it's like carving out little pieces of the market you can then target differently. It also helps you figure out what people actually care about, what they're listening to, what they click on, what they share. As of right now, this is such a big piece of our strategies, because we're learning so much so fast. I mean, I could write a thousand surveys and not get the same data we get from just doing a daily video, every single day, consistently, consistently, consistently doing it. Russell Brunson:               From the funnel side, those are the keys you guys, and hopefully that helps a lot. Speaker 16:        [inaudible 01:10:05] Russell Brunson:               Am I allowed to celebrate something? Just kidding. We do an event once a year, that's … Tony Robbins is our key note this year and it's basically me on stage, with a bunch of our … [inaudible 01:10:18] difference. Me on stage and then we've got people that are click funnels members who are doing it in different markets. We got a really cool couple, Brandon and Kayla. They're in the fitness industry. They sell $149 product. All they do is Facebook lives. In fact, they do an entire webinar pitch on Facebook live and they'll do … During a live Facebook live, they do 150,000, 200,000 dollars live on it, and they boost it afterwards and do five, six, seven hundred thousand dollars. I've done … Jason talks about webinars later today. Speaker 17:        That's incredible. Russell Brunson:               Doing, if you do a whole bunch of these viral videos like this on your Facebook live, and you're building an audience and stuff's coming that's really, really good, then you come in and you do your entire webinar. I've done three Facebook lives that were me doing my entire webinar live and in front of everyone, just talking. Al of it over a quarter million dollars in sales, cause it's just engagement and live and it's really fun. A lot of cool ways you can use that. Anyway. I hope that helps you guys and … Speaker 18:        That's awesome. That was good. Thank you.

The real secret to converting with funnels… Today’s episode is part 3 of a 3 part series of Russell speaking at a $100k event where he taught about the psychology of funnels. Here are some of the things you will hear in part 3: Some tips and tricks when it comes to building funnels. What the cardinal rule of upsells is and some of the things that will help convert an upsell. He also gives some cool tips for using Facebook Live. So listen below to find out how to make your funnels awesome and successful. ---Transcript--- Russell Brunson:               All right, so now we’re going to … Cause now, like everyone … I’m the funnel guy, so let’s talk about funnels, right? Now that we’ve got the foundation stuff out of the way, so then it comes to how do we build the funnel? I lost … There’s the lid. For me, the funnel … Everyone thinks there’s some magic. I have people all the time like, “Hey Russell. Do you have an MLM funnel you can give me, so I can grow my MLM?” I have a funnel that’s worked for someone I can give you. “Hey, I’m doing this.” I give them the book funnel. I was snickering yesterday. Everyone’s like, “I need your book funnel. [inaudible 00:46:27] book funnel to work.” It’s like, well kind of. Y’all have the funnel now. That’s the framework. What makes it work is this stuff we talked about, right? The pieces don’t change. My funnels are not complicated If you look at my funnels versus, I have friends who like to brag about the complexity of their funnels. They’re insane. My funnels are so simple. They’re usually four or five pages and that’s it. It’s, very simple. My thing, I think … In fact, I was at a Infusion Soft thingy and I was watching these guys and they had all of their … These guys were building all of these funnels that had like a billion different segments and all this stuff. You know those Infusion Soft charts, that show all the thing … I was just sick to my stomach. I’m like, “Guh.” They’re like, “Yeah, well if they click here, then it takes them this sequence. If they don’t, they take them to here and then if they’ve done this thing for three days and they haven’t done this and then they go here and …” All this stuff and I was just like … They have a billion different branches. I’m looking at that, I’m like, “You know the problem with that, is I have no idea what the crap to fix if something’s broken. There’s so may things. I want five or six variables max I want my cost per ad, I want my landing page conversion, I want my sales thingy. I want four or five things and I’m going to go and spend a thousand bucks driving ads. I’m going to stop and look at it and be like, “Okay, cool. It’s one of these five things that’s broken. Maybe two of them. Let’s fix just those.” You’ve got a thing that’s got 8,000 sequences. I can not make it better. What’s more important, is become better at selling. Me getting better at telling a story is better than 8.000 segmentations of lists. I’ll make way more money by becoming better at telling my story, than I ever will from the third, the guy that didn’t click on email 13, send him this one instead and then send this one at two in the morning and then. Holy crap. Just sell yourself better and that’s worth a million times more than that, right? I make them simple. All my … Everyone’s cheering back here, “Yay, simple funnels.” My stuff’s all very, very, very simple, but I’ve become a master at understanding this. The opportunity switch to the opportunity stack. I’m just going to talk about a book funnel, but this could be any funnel. Does not matter. The first thing I’m looking at is that is, what is the opportunity switch. There’s going to be a video of me telling a story about the opportunity switch. With my book funnel, I’m telling a story about my book, my epiphany story about how I had an opportunity switch and how this book is going to give you that same thing as well. Right? That’s the key. That’s the magic. If I’m doing a webinar, what am I doing? Telling a story about my opportunity switch, tell the epiphany story. They have the same epiphany, they’re sold. I don’t have to sell them anymore. If I’m selling supplements, same thing. Tell them the story, how did my epiphany pitch. It doesn’t matter what it is. That’s the key, is I’m telling a really good story about how I had my epiphany, and if I do the job right, they’ll have the same epiphany and then they’ll buy the first product. From there, it’s coming and the biggest thing most marketers do, when they start creating their upsale, downsale sequences is like, “Okay, what else do we have on the shelf we can sell them? Okay, they bought my book. Let’s sell them, I don’t know, some other random thing.” Or, they bought the book. Let me sell them more of that same kind of thing. Now, in supplement world, this is like the default. E-commerce/supplements, it’s kind of like remember A-E-I-O-U and sometimes I and W, or E and W or whatever that is. There’s two times this rule breaks. In supplements and e-commerce, whatever I sell on the first phase, if I sell supplements, I sell three bottles, my upsell’s always six bottles of the exact same crap. If I sell e-commerce, we just did a campaign for Fiber Fix. Three Fiber Fix, I’m upselling a crap ton more Fiber Fix. It’s e-commerce and supplements, you sell more of the same thing on the next page. Only time you do that. In information products, that will kill you. First time I really got this, it was when we launched our 108 Split Test book, which was kind of ironic, because the whole book’s about split test. We launched this book and the landing page converted and non of the upsells did and I was so pissed. I’m like. “Why is this not working?” I retweaked this offer probably 12 times. I changed the video, changed the pitch, changed the offer, changed the thing, the thing, the thing. I’m like, “Why is nobody buying this crap?” The main thing I was selling was, they bought a book on split tests, and my upsell was this whole course on split testing. I’m like, “This is all the cool stuff you need. You told me you wanted split testing. I’m selling you more split testing. Why are you not buying that?” I had one of my friends, who went to my funnel and bought it and he texted me. He’s like, he said, “Hey man. Cool book. Thanks for the book.” Then he’s like, “I bet your upsell is not converting.” I was like … I didn’t tell anyone, cause the conversion, that’s my thing. Like, “Why would you say that?” He’s like, “Ah, I can just tell.” I’m like, “Well, I’m just curious. Why would you assume that?” Anyway, he shot … it’s Tim Erway, if any of you guys who know him. He shot me this message, he’s like, “Dude, cause you did the cardinal fail of upsales.” I was like, “All right. Yeah. What was the cardinal rule again?” He told me, he said, “When somebody buys your first product …” Think about it. Let’s say it’s My Gear, The Truth About Abs, right? I want abs so bad, right. I buy Truth About Abs. My mind, as a consumer, I’m like, “I’ve got abs. That itch has been scratched.” And I’m like, “Ah sweet, I got abs. Whew.” Then here it’s like, “Hey, I’m going to give you workout videos, so you can get abs.” Like, “Dude, I already got abs. I just bought them. They’re … It’s done. My itch has been scratched.” He’s like, “When people buy your split test book, in their mind, that itch has been scratched. It’s done. Nothing you do will get people to buy more of that.” I was like, “But they raised their hand as people interested in split tests.” Nope, that itch has been scratched. He’s like, “You’ve got to look at, you just did an opportunity switch. What is the next thing they need to be more successful with that? What’s the stack? What’s the next logical thing?” I was like, for me I was like, “Well, if they scratched their itch on conversion, conversion’s awesome, but they’re only coming to the website and then they’re kind of screwed, right?’ For me, it was traffic was the next thing. We shifted that to a what’s the opportunity stack. Now you know how to make your pages convert, now let’s get people to actually show up. Switched it and stacked the next opportunity. Boom. I was like, “Crap, that was so easy.” Now everyone in my funnel’s [inaudible 00:52:17] the psychology of, okay. First lead is the switch. Now we’ve got them believing … This is why I love free book offers. Why I like low end things, because the lower the barriers initially … All I have to get them to do is to raise their hand and say, “Yes, I’m going to buy your book.” By saying that, they’ve subconsciously sold themselves on like, “I have now switched off on the opportunity. This is now my future. I’m a guy who has six pack abs.” They’ve made that switch. You know, as soon as you pull a credit card out of your wallet, you are voting. That’s why, we don’t do customer service and crap, cause I don’t care. We get people to vote with their credit card, cause that’s the only thing I actually believe. Every time we do focus groups and all that kind of crap, people give you whatever … I only care about people voting with their credit card. As soon as they pull a credit card out of their wallet, they have voted that this is the opportunity that they are buying in to. They’re done. The next thing is just like, “Okay, you’ve already bought in to this now.” That’s why I like making this first opportunity as low barrier, as easy, because as soon as I get them to sell, subconsciously they’re 100% in. Now the stacks become easy. Like, “Hey, you got this. Now you need this.” People always ask me, “Well how many upsells should I have? What should be the price points on it? Duh, duh, duh, duh.” It has nothing to do with price points, it has nothing to do … None of that crap matters. People are like, “Well, should I go from free to 97 to 290. What’s the …” Everyone worries about that. It has nothing to do with that. It has 100% to do with, what’s the next logical thing this customer needs to have success in the new opportunity I just gave them? This might be a $25,000 offer, if it makes sense. If that’s the next logical thing that they need, or it might be $37. Price point does not matter. It’s the logical sequencing of the offers that is the key. That’s what makes any funnel work, is the logical sequencing of offers. Speaker 10:        May I ask a question? Russell Brunson:               Yes. Speaker 10:        With the opportunity switch, is that more emotional and then the opportunity stack is more logical? Russell Brunson:               I don’t think anything logical sells. [inaudible 00:54:11] why I think logically, there’s still emotion. Speaker 10:        Well you know, you’ve got this … You’ve got emotion and logic here. Is that [inaudible 00:54:18] the epiphany bridge? Russell Brunson:               Yes. Yes, sorry. Yeah, so the emotional part’s the [inaudible 00:54:28], the logical part … Logical’s like that how they explain to their wife [inaudible 00:54:33] buy something for 25,000, $100,000. How do I explain to my wife like, “Yeah. I spent a hundred grand to go on this thing, because it’s going to be really good for my … No, I just want to hang out with me and Joe and everyone.” Right? We emotionally get bought in, but I’m still always selling from emotion. I’ll talk about logical, the logical justifications in the videos and stuff like that. It’s still emotional. Speaker 10:        [inaudible 00:54:54] emotional [inaudible 00:54:55] stack. Russell Brunson:               Yeah, I think so. Speaker 10:        How do you extend that story, that epiphany story [crosstalk 00:54:59]. Russell Brunson:               New story. New story. Speaker 10:        It’s a new story? Russell Brunson:               Yeah, so it’s like here’s split testing. Like, cool. Let me tell you a story. After I got … I’m sending this book out to you in the mail. You guys are going to go crazy for it, cause it’s going to show you split testing. For me, when I started to get in to split testing, I was really excited, but the problem was, I didn’t really have traffic coming to my website. I was doing a split test, like three people come. You can’t actually … It doesn’t help.” I start going in to the whole story. Speaker 10:        A new epiphany. Russell Brunson:               Yes. Speaker 10:        You’re sharing. Russell Brunson:               Yeah. Speaker 10:        Okay. Gotcha. Russell Brunson:               Sometimes multiple epiphanies. I’m telling as many stories as I need, to get that idea across. Speaker 10:        Okay. Russell Brunson:               How many stories do you think I’ve told in the last hour, so far? Speaker 10:        A lot. Russell Brunson:               Anyway. The more, the merrier. It’s not like, what’s my one epiphany bridge story. Usually, it can be multiple. Any time I explain something that’s confusing, I’ve got to step back again, “Well, it’s kind of like millions of motivational speakers running through your blood. That’s what ketones are.” Okay, and I keep moving forward. Okay, so like I said, some upsells, there’s one thing, cause that’s the only logical thing they have. Some upsells, there’s two. Some upsells, I have one thing and I have a downsell. It matters less to me what it is and more tome just, what makes sense for this customer that’s on this path? I remember reading the Emyth 12 years ago, and one of the initial things he talked about is the process of somebody walks in to a store. Last week, my wife wanted to go to the mall, cause we were going on a cruise in two days and she wanted to get some new clothes. I hate going to the mall, but I love GNC. That’s my … I love supplements. I take more supplements than I should, every day. I love it, right? I go to GNC and, the thing I hate about GNC though … How many of you has been in to a GNC? What happens as soon as you walk in? They just pounce on you, it’s like, “Ahh [inaudible 00:56:30]” I hate it, so I take a breath like, “Okay.” I walk through the door and within like one step, the girl comes out, “oh, blah blah.” I’m just like going through this pain like, “What are you looking for? What do you want? What do you need?” I’m like, “I just want to look at supplements. Leave me alone.” Then it’s like finally, that horrible pain’s gone and she leaves me. Okay. I can start looking, right? I’m remembering the E-myth and thinking about, I love GNC but I always have this pain going in, because the process is so weird. I start looking at … I became obsessed with this. Everywhere I go, it drives my wife nuts. We’re going through anything and the way a waiter pitches me, depends on what I’ll buy and what I’ll tip them. I want to get sold. I’m obsessed with the process of everything, from offline funnels to online funnels to everything that’s happening. For me, I’m just looking at that like, “Imagine that you’re your customer, okay, and they come here. What’s going to capture them, like a really good video. You’re going to cut out the techno babble. You’re going to tell a really good story, that’s going to be exciting, it’s going to be visually good, it’s not going to be me against a white wall, trying to be boring. I’m going to find a good background and make it look visually stimulating, so it’s cool. I’m going to tell a story that captivates them and make then=m an offer that’s so irresistible. It’s a new opportunity that’s going to change their life, and that’s what we do here.” Then I’m like, “Okay, they bought the book.” How can I serve them the best? What’s the next thing I can do to serve this person the most? It should be this. Do I have a product that does that? No, and that’s what I need to make them. I need to make a product that does that, cause it’s all about, how do we serve our people at the highest level. That’s more important than “I’ve got a whole bunch of products. What do I plug in and where do they go and should this be the upsell?” No, think about the process. If you’re walking in to GNC, if was walking in to GNC, I would change the whole process to like, “Hey, welcome to GNC. Here’s a free power bar. Let me know if you need anything.” I’d have been like “Huh.” Eating a power bar, I’d buy four times as much stuff. I’d be going through things. I would just be focusing on that customer journey, what’s happening through the process. For you guys, that’s the way to think through this. Think like, someone buys this like, “Oh man. It’s kind of expensive and we ship them out DVDs and all this stuff.” Maybe some people don’t want DVDs. Maybe they don’t have a DVD player. Maybe I’ll downsell them. Maybe they just want a digital version. Maybe that would be my downsell, is a digital version, cause that’s probably what they’d want. I’m looking logically, like what makes the most sense to them. If you can craft that, that’s the magic. That’s how you get a funnel that converts and how you make it work awesome. Speaker 10:        On that first page, how long generally … Do you have a time frame of the ideal video length? Three minutes, 45 minutes. Russell Brunson:               This is what … Speaker 10:        Or does size really matter? Russell Brunson:               One of my professors told me one time, he’s like, “It needs to be … it’s like a girl’s skirt. It needs to be long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to still be interesting.” That’s my gauge I my mind, always. If it’s getting boring and long, then I … But I don’t have a timeline. How long does it take me, take the story, where it’s still engaging? It might be three minutes, it might be 20 minutes. If I tell a good story, people will sit there. That’s more important. Yeah. There is a duration to the price of the thing I’m selling and how long it is. If it’s a free book offer, I don’t have to do a lot to get people to take that, but still need to get them to buy in to this, or else the upsells won’t convert. A lot of times you see people book offers, “Get my free book. It’s amazing. You’re going to love it. It’s free. Ahh.” That may work good for getting people to buy initially, but it kills you everything back here, cause they’re not bought in to the opportunity switch. If you can get them to buy the opportunity switch, then everything else increases, from the rest of it on. Any other questions about that stuff at all? Cool. Then the last piece of this … Oh yeah. Speaker 11:        Where does the traffic primarily come from? Russell Brunson:               Cool. All right. The last piece of this. Traffic all over the place, but I want to show you guys what’s working the best for us right now. On the last page right here. This is Anthony DeClemente. He is one of my buddies. He owns this company, biohacking stuff. We started, we’re starting an online reality show called Funnel Hacker TV, just cause we want to … Without people … I wish we had like five hours, I could talk about more of this. For our customers, to build the whole culture, the biggest thing that we got to do is believe. Get these guys to believe in this right here. What I do, I do a lot of stuff to show belief. Friday we do a show called the Friday Funnel show, where I’m building an entire funnel in 30 minutes and I show them over and over and over again that I drink my own Kool-Aid. That I’m actually doing this. It’s like the biggest thing for sales we’ve ever done. We do, we built this reality show, where basically each week, we pick an entrepreneur that’s got a really cool product and we take them, figure out the product, the offers, build the thing and launch it. He’s episode number one that’s coming out. He had no list, no following, switching markets to a whole completely different thing, but he’s just really good at what he did. We had him write a book. This whole campaign went from zero. I’m saying, you don’t have to have a big following for this to work. This went from zero. In the last six weeks, we sold 8,000 copies of his book. He just finished his very first biohacking week in Chicago, had a whole bunch of people pay a crap ton of money to come out there and go through the experience and this whole business went from zero to it’ll do a couple million bucks, yeah number one. All just from this. No other traffic source except for this. As you start going further down the cold, it’s different, but for most people, you can build really good off of this. Facebook live, Facebook loves us right now. They are wanting all of us to do it, so what we do, and I’ll kind of give you Anthony for example. He’s got a book funnel. Some questions like what’s the message? What’s the best Facebook ad? I don’t know. I have no idea what message is going to be right. Everyone responds to different things. What, Anthony I said, “First thing he has to do is, every single day you have to do a Facebook live video on a different topic. Every single day, for the rest of your life.” He’s like, “But I don’t know if I have enough ideas.” I don’t care. Every single day for the rest of your life. That’s your only job, is to make a Facebook live video. What he did was he made a first Facebook live video and I was like, “It’s biohacking. Do the weird crap. Get things with lasers up your nose and all sorts of weird stuff and that’ll be your Facebook live.” Then he did that and nobody cared. We did another one, and nobody cared. Then we did another one. We found out that about one out of 10 does what we call force virals. One out of 10, and what’s weird is, it’s usually the message that I think is the stupidest message ever. The first video we had that went force viral, the title of it was How to Biohack Your Vegetables. It was like, “Hey.” He’s cooking, he’s like, “What you do is you put butter in your vegetables and it’s biohacked now.” It got like two or three million views and sold hundreds and hundreds of copies of the book. I was like, I thought the cools ones with the lasers in his eyes and ears would be the cool thing, but no. It’s never what you think. We build a marketing campaign, we focus on one thing and it’s the wrong one, it’s like no. Do a Facebook live every single day for the rest of your life, on a different message and you’ll find what the market actually cares about. What things they do. It’s a consistency thing. Over and over and over again. Here’s a couple things on Anthony’s, just printed out a guide to help you guys, cause there was a lot of questions on it yesterday. The main thing is again, profile picture has a huge thing to do with people actually being part of it. The name should not be a company. People do not want to engage in companies and they do not want to share things from companies, they want to engage with you, the attractive character. The ult leader. All the headlines are super easy. They’re things that are shareable, so it’s not too complex. It’s like, ,”Hey cool, how to biohack your vegetable. How to …” What was this one? “How to biohack, detox and get a flatter midsection.” There’s a simple call to action with the URL that’s not clickfunnels.com/1234/ … It’s something that’s also benefit driven, like biohackers guide. It’s like, “Oh cool. There’s the guide. Speaker 12:        Do you boost these or no? Russell Brunson:               Yeah, I’ll talk about that in a sec. Speaker 12:        And you can boost with a URL? You can do that? Okay Russell Brunson:               Yep. I’ll talk about kind of that strategy here in a second. Can the video structure, typically this is the structure. They’re usually three to five minute videos. The first 15 seconds is like, “Hey. I’m Anthony DeClemente.” Then, if you have a cold like me, so I’m, “Hey, I’m Russell Brunson. My fellow funnel hackers, I want to talk to you about whatever.” Calling them out. Then the next thing is, this is … We ask people to share like, “Hey, if you like this video, at the end of it if you can please share it, that way I know if you like this content, and I’ll make more like this. If you don’t like it, don’t share it and I just won’t make any more like this.” Some people are like, that’s how they’re voting if they like it, by sharing. Which is huge. The first 15 seconds, we tell them to share it if they like it, we ask them to do a favor like, “Hey, if you thought this was awesome, share it. That way I know.” Huge thing. Then, four minutes of teaching. I would say teaching/telling epiphany bridge stories is more important. Telling a good story. The end of it, a call to action to whatever it is your front end things is. “Go get my free books.” Anthony, every single day, he’s showing one biohack, and then “Hey, go get my book Biohackersguide. Com.” Then down here, the very first post … As soon as he starts a video … When you first do a video , first it goes out to your fan page, right? Anthony has zero people on his fan page, the first probably hundred videos, right? Nobody was there. He just did it, and then as soon as it’s done, then what our guys will do, they’ll come in the very first post. We try to post the link to the actual offer, so that everyone sees that initially. It’s pulls in a picture of the product, stuff like that. Somebody manually is adding that in. Now, because he’s got more of a following, as soon as he starts a thing, someone goes in and posts it really quick as the first comment, so it sticks there, then it goes live. What we do is typically, for each of these videos it goes live, we put about five bucks behind it, just to see what’s going to happen. If you’ve got more of an audience initially, you don’t put money behind it. If you have zero audience initially, you put about five to 10 bucks behind it, just to see which ones get some traction. Then as soon as one thing gets traction, the way that we judge traction is right here, is the ration. It’s the 1% share to view ratio. How many people viewed it and how many people shared it? As soon as you get 1% share/view, we call that internally it’s a force to viral video, which means I can spend as much money as I want and it’s going to go viral and it’s going to make us a bunch of money. About one out of 10 hit that number, and then we dump as much money as we want or can or need to behind that and it’ll just kind of blow up. For me, this is … the biggest thing I can give you guys is this. Speaker 12:        Is the 1% based off of views? Russell Brunson:               It’s the ratio of views to shares. Speaker 12:        Views to shares. Russell Brunson:               This video’s got 1.4 million views. Its got 10,000 shares, so it’s 1%. Speaker 12:        [inaudible 01:06:19] Russell Brunson:               Huh? Speaker 12:        [inaudible 01:06:23] Russell Brunson:               We’re not mathematicians, we’re marketers. You are definitely way smarter than me. It looks like one to me. It’s a ball park. If it’s close, we’re going to blow it up. That’s kind of about what we’re looking at. Then we can promote it. What’s cool about this, if you think about everything we talked about earlier, right? We talked about traffic temperature up here, right? What’s cool about these videos is that, every video, you’re learning what people respond to and what they don’t respond to. We realize like, “Wow, they actually care about biohacking vegetables. Let’s do more things like that, cause they shared it.” You’re able to speak to different times. You can speak sometimes in techno babble and you’re going to boost … It may not do as good, but you’re going to boost it to different audience. For me, I might do a Facebook live talking about funnels for network marketers and I do it and nobody on my page cares, but now that video, that ad’s done and my guy will blow up all the network marketing companies, and then boom. We get all the network marketers to come underneath us. I might do one, funnels for real estate agents. Funnels for … I’m just, it’s like carving out little pieces of the market you can then target differently. It also helps you figure out what people actually care about, what they’re listening to, what they click on, what they share. As of right now, this is such a big piece of our strategies, because we’re learning so much so fast. I mean, I could write a thousand surveys and not get the same data we get from just doing a daily video, every single day, consistently, consistently, consistently doing it. Russell Brunson:               From the funnel side, those are the keys you guys, and hopefully that helps a lot. Speaker 16:        [inaudible 01:10:05] Russell Brunson:               Am I allowed to celebrate something? Just kidding. We do an event once a year, that’s … Tony Robbins is our key note this year and it’s basically me on stage, with a bunch of our … [inaudible 01:10:18] difference. Me on stage and then we’ve got people that are click funnels members who are doing it in different markets. We got a really cool couple, Brandon and Kayla. They’re in the fitness industry. They sell $149 product. All they do is Facebook lives. In fact, they do an entire webinar pitch on Facebook live and they’ll do … During a live Facebook live, they do 150,000, 200,000 dollars live on it, and they boost it afterwards and do five, six, seven hundred thousand dollars. I’ve done … Jason talks about webinars later today. Speaker 17:        That’s incredible. Russell Brunson:               Doing, if you do a whole bunch of these viral videos like this on your Facebook live, and you’re building an audience and stuff’s coming that’s really, really good, then you come in and you do your entire webinar. I’ve done three Facebook lives that were me doing my entire webinar live and in front of everyone, just talking. Al of it over a quarter million dollars in sales, cause it’s just engagement and live and it’s really fun. A lot of cool ways you can use that. Anyway. I hope that helps you guys and … Speaker 18:        That’s awesome. That was good. Thank you.

Anna, Sim and Rachel Bloom (CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND) kick off part two of this weeks episode by playing a round of "How Would You Proceed?" They then take a call from Molly, who's confused on what to do when her best friend admits to having feelings, and Melissa, who wants to know how to confront a self-centered friend about being a more active listener. GUH, RELATABLE. The gang then caps off the show with some "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" talk.

Into the Nth Dimensionby David D. LevineThe fence around Dr. Diabolus's lair is twenty feet tall, electrified and topped with razor wire.  I'd expected no less.  From one of the many pouches at my belt I pull a pair of acorns and toss them at the base of the fence. I exert my special power.  Each acorn immediately sprouts, roots digging through asphalt as the leafy stem reaches skyward.  Wood fibers KRACKLE as the stems extend, lengthen, thicken, green skin changing to grayish bark in a moment.  Leaves SSHHH into existence; branches reach out to the neighbor tree, twining themselves into rungs. Before the twin oaks have reached their full height I spring into action, clambering up the living ladder as it grows, creeping along a limb even as it extends over the razor wire.  It's a dramatic, foolhardy move, but I can't delay -- Sprout is in peril!  The branch sags under my weight, lowering me to within ten feet of the ground, and I leap down with practiced ease. Full transcript after the cut:----more----Hello! Welcome to GlitterShip episode 22 for February ... 20th, oops. This is your host, Keffy, and I'm super excited to be sharing this story with you!Our story today is "Into the Nth Dimension" by David D. Levine, read by... David D. Levine.David is the author of novel Arabella of Mars, which will be out from Tor Books in July 2016, and over fifty science fiction and fantasy stories. His story “Tk’Tk’Tk” won the Hugo Award in 2006, and he has been shortlisted for awards including the Hugo, Nebula, Campbell, and Sturgeon. Stories have appeared in Asimov’s, Analog, F&SF, numerous Year’s Best anthologies, and his award-winning collection Space Magic.Oh, just one more thing! While I was putting this episode together the SFWA Nebula award nominations came out, and David JUST, as in, literally minutes ago, received a Nebula nomination for his story "Damage," which was released on Tor.com. Congratulations!GlitterShip would also like to congratulate some of the authors whose stories appeared in previous episodes: Ken Liu (Episode 15), was nominated for best Novel for his book "The Grace of Kings", Rose Lemberg (Episode 7) was nominated for her novelette "Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds", and Sarah Pinsker (Episode 2) was also nominated for a novelette, "Our Lady of the Open Road."Ok. NOW you can listen to the story.Into the Nth Dimensionby David D. LevineThe fence around Dr. Diabolus's lair is twenty feet tall, electrified and topped with razor wire.  I'd expected no less.  From one of the many pouches at my belt I pull a pair of acorns and toss them at the base of the fence. I exert my special power.  Each acorn immediately sprouts, roots digging through asphalt as the leafy stem reaches skyward.  Wood fibers KRACKLE as the stems extend, lengthen, thicken, green skin changing to grayish bark in a moment.  Leaves SSHHH into existence; branches reach out to the neighbor tree, twining themselves into rungs. Before the twin oaks have reached their full height I spring into action, clambering up the living ladder as it grows, creeping along a limb even as it extends over the razor wire.  It's a dramatic, foolhardy move, but I can't delay -- Sprout is in peril!  The branch sags under my weight, lowering me to within ten feet of the ground, and I leap down with practiced ease. Again I concentrate, and the two trees wither away behind me, a gnawed patch of asphalt and a few stray leaves the only sign they'd ever existed.  I feel their pain as they wilt and die, but I don't want my intrusion discovered sooner than necessary.  The loss of their green and growing lives is just the latest of the many sacrifices I've made.  I press onward.Slippery elm makes short work of the side door lock; mushrooms blind security cameras and heat sensors.  These bright corridors, humming with electricity and weirder energies, are cold places of steel and concrete, offering me no plants or plant matter to leverage my powers.  I've faced worse.  I prowl quickly, silently, keeping my head down, all senses alert to any trace of the kidnapped Sprout.Voices!  I duck into an alcove as two of Dr. Diabolus's goons round the corner.  As soon as they've passed I spring out behind them, tossing seeds at their feet.  Fast-twining English ivy ensnares one before he can cry out, but the other evades its tendrils.  "Phyto-Man!" he gasps.POW! my fist responds.  He drops cold beside his still-struggling comrade, whose eyes glare with hatred above his smothered mouth.  I direct the ivy to bind the unconscious goon as well, so he'll raise no alarm when he awakes.Even their underwear is synthetic fiber.  Dr. Diabolus is thorough, I'll grant him that.Deeper and deeper into the cavernous lair I probe, keeping an eye on the pipes and conduits that line the ceiling, smaller leading to larger, following the branch to find the trunk.  I know Dr. Diabolus; wherever he's holding my sidekick it will be near his latest contrivance, and all his inventions require massive amounts of power. If only he'd gone solar instead of stealing plutonium, we might have been allies.At last I come to a massive, vault-like door, all steel and chrome, set in a concrete wall into which many thick conduits vanish.  But nothing is more persistent than a plant.  I tuck dozens of tiny dandelion seeds into the crack between door and jamb.  Their indomitable roots reach deep, swelling and prying, until with a WHANGG of tearing metal the door bursts from its frame. With my own muscles I wrench the shattered door aside and burst into the chamber.  Dr. Diabolus turns to me, cape swirling.  "You disappoint me, Phyto-Man," he sneers, his artificial eye glowing red.  "I expected you here half an hour ago.""Traffic was terrible," I quip.  The chamber is dominated by a complex machine, seething with arcane energies that make my head swim, but there's no sign of Sprout.  "What have you done with my sidekick, you fiend?""I sent him to... the Nth Dimension!"  He pulls a lever on the control panel before him.  A ten-foot iris of blue steel in the center of the machine SNICKs open, revealing...Looking into the opening makes my eyes feel like they're being pulled out of my head.  It's as though all the colors of the palette have somehow been smeared together with... others... forming impossible combinations of hue and tone that swirl sickeningly.  But worse than that, the weird amalgam of color seems to bend... around a corner that isn't there.  It's painful to see, even harder to look away.CHANGG!  Something hard and cold fastens onto my bicep, breaking the spell.  "What?" I cry.  Before I can move, a second steel claw CHANGGs onto my other arm.  CHANGG!  CHANGG!  CHANGG!  I'm caught like a fly, steel bracelets ringing my arms, legs, and neck.  Jointed metal arms haul me off the floor, suspend me in the air before the gloating Dr. Diabolus. "HAHAHAHAHA!" he laughs as I struggle in vain.  "You've foiled my plans for the last time, Phyto-Man!""If you've harmed Sprout--!" I growl through clenched teeth, straining against the imprisoning metal."My dear Phyto-Man, I must confess... I don't know!"  He works the controls and the arms propel me, none too gently, toward the yawning portal.  The uncanny colors swirl crazily, filling my vision, seeming to tug at every fiber of my being.  "But whatever has become of your Sprout, you will shortly be joining him there.  Bon voyage, Emerald Avenger!"The arms thrust me forward.  With a SPRANK! the five claws open simultaneously, flinging me into the swirling abyss.A hard, gritty surface presses against my side.  I'm cold, my head is spinning, and everything hurts.  There's a thin, rushing sound off in the distance.  Traffic?I sit up and open my eyes.  And immediately I wish I hadn't.There's nothing to see but a cracked and filthy concrete floor and my own hands, but they're all wrong... seriously wrong.  The floor curves away from me in every direction -- the same impossible curvature I'd seen in Dr. Diabolus's portal -- despite the fact that it looks and feels flat.  And the surface looks like... like concrete multiplied by itself.  Cracks are crackier.  Grit is grittier.  It's all realer than real; it pounds on my eyes as though I were staring into the sun, though there's barely any light.  And the color is not just gray, but a weird amalgam of thousands of different grays blended smoothly together.  A whole shining rainbow of grays.My heart is pounding.   I've faced death many times, fought monsters, escaped from traps, but I've never experienced anything this disturbing.  Always before the threat came from outside, but now it's me -- my own perceptions -- that have changed.My hands, too, are a disconcerting, amplified version of themselves.  I turn them before my eyes, and as they rotate I seem to see both sides at the same time as the front.  In color they are... kind of an ultra-pink, not the plain pink I've seen every day of my life but an eye-hurting blend of unnatural shades.  Pinks that don't exist, have never existed.  And as I look more closely I see disturbing swirls of texture in my skin, spiraling like microscopic galaxies, like nothing I've ever seen before.I swallow and rip my attention away from my own fingers.  Have I been drugged?  I shake my head hard, but that just makes the headache and dizziness worse.  I pound my fists on the ground, but though I feel the impact and the pain there's no comforting THUD, just a muffled thump so faint and distant I might as well be imagining it. "Hello?" I call.  No, nothing wrong with my hearing; my voice bounces back to me from the darkness, echoing off the distant, unseen walls.To my surprise there's an immediate reply.  "Michael?"  The voice is heartbreakingly familiar.  I feel a twinge of hope."Sprout?"  I peer into the darkness, hoping for a glimpse of green tights and pointed shoes.  It's a ridiculous outfit.  Why have we never changed it?And why have I never wondered that before?"It's me, Michael.  Richard."A familiar figure appears in the dim distance, but with everything so strange here I can't afford to relax.  "Is this a secure area?  We should stick to code names...""No need.  There's no Sprout here, and no Phyto-Man either."Worries spring up in my mind -- impostors, hypnosis, possession, brainwashing -- but I decide to bluff it out in case there are unseen observers.  "Well, I'm here now, Sprout." "This all seems very strange, I know, but don't worry.  Everything will be all right."Despite his reassurances, there's a strangeness about Sprout as he approaches.  He's wearing street clothes, in colors and textures as hallucinogenic as everything else here, and his face combines familiarity with an alien super-reality exactly as my own hands do, but the really disturbing thing is the way he moves.  Each step flows into the next with a weird gliding motion that propels him forward seamlessly, without transitions.  It's like he's rolling toward me on a treadmill, constantly cresting a hill that isn't there.  I push down feelings of nausea and... and fear.  Never in all my adventures have I faced anything as disquieting as this place.  "Where am I?""Dr. Diabolus called it the Nth Dimension, but the people here just call it the world."  He's reached me now, and the mingled concern and relief in his face match the conflicting emotions in my own heart.  "I'm so glad you're finally here."He bends down and helps me to my feet, a disturbing reversal, and I find that I move with the same unnatural glide that he does.  Even more disturbing, I find I'm naked.  "My costume!"  I cover myself with my hands as best I can, but the loss of my belt pouches, my carefully nurtured collection of seeds, leaves me feeling not just nude but defenseless.I reach out with my powers.  Perhaps a seed from a discarded Fig Newton lies in a crack on the floor, a seed I can grow into leaves to cover my nakedness.  But there's nothing; my powers are dulled almost to nonexistence.  I can feel wood beams supporting the ceiling high above, but I can't warp them to my will. I'm helpless.  For the first time in... I can't remember when."Don't worry," Sprout says, "no one here wears costumes.  I brought you some clothes."  He turns, the motion revealing sides and back, width and depth and thickness, all at once.  I groan and nearly lose my balance.  "Oh!" he says.  "I'm sorry.  Try closing one eye.  It helps."I do, and it does -- the colors are still wrong but the disorienting sense of everything being too far away and too close at the same time is greatly reduced.  Sprout -- Richard -- reaches into a rustling paper bag and hands me a folded bundle. Putting the clothes on is a challenge.  Each trouser leg recedes like a portal to another world; buttons and zippers feel much larger, more detailed than they should.  I close my eyes completely and let my instincts take over.  It makes a big difference.  How many times in my life have I dressed myself?  But this still feels like the first time.I sit on the filthy floor to tie the unfamiliar shoes.  "That's better," I say.  "Now let's get to work."  Maybe action will still the trembling dread in my heart.  "There's no time to lose -- we need to get back to our own dimension and defeat Dr. Diabolus before it's too late!"Richard smiles and shakes his head.  I'm starting to get used to the weird multi-dimensional effect.  "Don't worry, there's plenty of time."  He puts out a hand.  "Come on.  I'll explain over coffee."Sprout's lack of concern raises anew the questions I'd had about drugs, hypnosis, imposters.  But, lost in a strange, incomprehensible world, I have no better alternative to offer.  I take his hand. His hand is warm and soft in mine.  When was the last time I'd grasped it without gloves, without haste, without danger all around? He leads me across the floor -- now that my eyes have adapted a bit to the darkness and strangeness I see that the space is a cavernous, disused warehouse -- to a corroded metal door.  It opens with a muted squeak of rusty hinges, not the SKREEK I would have expected, but once we pass through it to the street I'm assaulted by a cacophony of sounds, visions, and smells more intense than New Year's Eve in Metro City.  Cars in an astonishing variety of designs and colors careen by, with the same seamless motion as Sprout's walk but a hundred times faster.  Each one seems to zoom in from the horizon and vanish away to infinity all in a moment, but even as they speed by I can't help but notice their scratches and dents and chips in the paint and a hundred other details.  It's a dizzying kaleidoscope of color and detail."Whoa!" I cry out as Sprout hauls me back from the curb."Careful, big guy."  He pats my shoulder.  "You're not invulnerable here.""Well, I've never been in Dynamic Man's league...""No, I mean you can really get hurt easily.  It doesn't take much, and it takes a long time to heal.  Look at this."  He pulls up his sleeve, revealing a hideous scab on his elbow.  "I scraped this on a brick wall when I first got here.  Just a little scrape, nothing I'd even have noticed if I were in a fist fight with the Demolisher, but it hurt like a son of a bitch --"I've never heard such language.  "Sprout!""-- and a month later it's still not all the way better."A month?  Immediately I'm on high alert again.  Has the imposter slipped up?  Sprout only disappeared the day before yesterday.But he notices the change in my expression -- faces here seem more subtle, more expressive -- and puts up a hand.  "Sorry.  We're on a monthly schedule.  One or two of our days, more or less, is a month here.  I should have told you right away."  His eyes dip to the sidewalk.  "There's a lot I should have told you, before."My suspicions are only slightly allayed, but I still have little alternative but to stick with this person, whether or not he's the Sprout I know.  Whoever he is, he just saved my life.We walk to a coffee shop.  Safe from the chaos of the street, I can begin to appreciate the wonder of this world -- the colors and textures, the tears in the vinyl seat's upholstery, the individual grains of spilled sugar on the laminate tabletop.  My spoon makes a tiny tink, tink noise as I stir my coffee.  The flavor is astonishing -- rich and sweet and dark.  "So you've been here a whole month?" He nods.  "I showed up in the same place you did.  It's the closest analog in this world to Dr. Diabolus's lair.  It took me quite a while to figure this place out, but I finally did.""You always were the brains of this partnership."  Before Sprout, there had been no Phyto-Computer, no chemical lab, no advanced cross-breeding program in the Hidden Greenhouse.  I'd really been little more than a thug with a green thumb."This world... it's like a layer above our world.  Everything here is... bigger.  More complex.  More detailed.  Even the color spectrum... there's an infinity of different colors here, Michael."I think back on the time I fell into the Hollow Earth, and how I had to help the downtrodden people there throw off the tyrannical overlord Karg before I could return to the surface.  "Then they must have even bigger problems than we do.  More villainous villains!  More despotic despots!  More disastrous natural disasters!"  I find myself grinning with anticipation.  "This could be our greatest adventure!""You might think so, but I haven't seen any sign of it.  There aren't any villains here.""It's some kind of Utopia, then?""Not really."  His face squinches up the way it does when he's thinking hard.  "There are people who do bad things.  But every time someone does something that seems entirely villainous to me, a whole bunch of other people come along and say it was really the right thing to do.  I'm kind of confused, really."  He shakes his head.  "Even bank robbers have their defenders here.  And there are tornadoes and hurricanes and earthquakes, but they're... diffuse.  I mean, yeah, people get hurt, but you never see the President's daughter trapped under a collapsed building or someone racing to get the secret plans to the hidden base before the whole Eastern Seaboard becomes uninhabitable.""Sounds... boring.""Oh, it's not!"  His eyes brighten and he grabs my hands across the table.  "It's the most wonderful place, Michael.  There's art and culture and nature like nothing you've ever seen.  Not just stuffy charity balls where the only exciting thing is when The Rutabaga tries to steal the debutante's diamond necklace.  I can't wait to show you Turandot."I pull my hands from his.  "Whoa, whoa, whoa, kiddo.  We're not here to be tourists.  We're here for a reason.  And once our job is done here, we'll go back where we came from.  That's the way the world works.""Not this world.  In this world you can do whatever you want, make the best of what you've got, succeed or fail or just muddle along... you're not limited to playing the role you were born into, fighting the same villains and foiling the same plots over and over again.  Not like our world."  He reaches into his hoodie's front pocket, pulls out a slim colorful magazine.  "To the people here, we're fictional!"The title of the magazine is The Amazing Phyto-Man, issue 157.  On the cover, a hulking over-muscled brute with a ridiculous green outfit and a caricature of my own face smacks a tentacled monstrosity in the beak.  The pages inside are divided into squares and rectangles, each bearing a picture and some text...It shows the whole story of how I got here.  Over the fence, down the corridors, the confrontation with Dr. Diabolus, the metal arms flinging me into the portal.I feel as though the world has been jerked out from under my feet.  "This is impossible.  Absurd.  Some kind of hoax.""It's no hoax.  There were ten copies of this one on the rack I bought it from.  All our friends have their own publications too."  He taps the final panel, showing me screaming as I fall into the swirling colors... but the colors on the page are the flat, limited palette of the world I came from.  "This is how I knew you'd be arriving here."I stare at the page.  It's wood pulp with vegetable inks.  My powers are weak here, almost nonexistent, but I can feel the minuscule thread of green life in it.  In some ways this stupid little magazine is the only thing in the whole chromium-and-vinyl coffee shop that's real. The only thing that's real...I turn back a page.  It's one large panel, with Dr. Diabolus laughing "HAHAHAHAHA!" as I struggle in the grip of the metal arms.  I stare at his flat, cartoonish face.I exert my power. It's not easy.  What I'm trying to do is unlike anything I've ever done before.  My teeth grind together; my pulse pounds in my temples. This is as hard and as strange as the very first time I ever made a seed sprout. It had been an apple seed, a discarded pip from my lunch, that happened to be lying on the floor the day that eerie green-glowing meteorite had crashed into the experimental greenhouse with its stocks of Growth Serum X.  That tiny seed, and the potential apple tree within, had been all that stood between me and certain death as the heavy beam had come crashing down toward me.  As though in a dream I'd sensed its potential, I'd reached out, I'd pulled harder than I'd ever pulled on anything before... and the tree burst into being, root and branch and leaf cushioning the beam's fall and saving my life.That had been the first time I'd felt that green power flowing through me.  Now I feel it again, a thin green thread of life pulsing in the dead, flattened wood pulp before me.  But this time it's different somehow, pulling at me even as I pull at it.Sweat stings my eyes and runs down my nose.  I keep straining...And then Dr. Diabolus blinks. The caricature face turns fractionally toward me, its look of triumph beginning to change into one of astonishment...It's more than I can sustain.  I collapse, my breath rushing out in a whoosh as I fall back into the padded seat.  The page before me reverts to its previous form, but I feel a sense of triumph. Sprout snatches the magazine away.  "What did you do?" "I used my powers.  I touched our world.  I made a change." "So what?""We can use this!"  I pound the table.  "I don't know how, but somehow we can use this magazine to get back to our own world!""Hush!" Sprout pats the air with his hands; I notice that the server and the other patrons are staring.  I sit down, noticing as I do that I'd surged to my feet.  "Michael... I don't want to go back to the world we came from.""We have to!"He looks at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. And then he bolts from the table. I stare stupidly at the door as the little bell over it tinkles, then take off after him.Sprout's fast, but ever since that day in the experimental greenhouse I've been stronger and tougher and faster than most people, and at least some of that seems to have come through the portal with me.  I manage to make it through the door before his heels vanish around the corner.Running in this world is a kaleidoscopic, hallucinogenic experience.  Walls seem to rush at me, a riot of color and texture; cars veer and swerve, horns blaring.  But I keep my eyes fixed on Sprout's blue hoodie as he dashes across streets, pushes through crowds of protesting civilians, runs down alleys. Block after block, I'm gaining.  Sprout was always the smart one in our partnership, but I'm the one who battled The Piledriver to a standstill.  Soon I'm only a few feet behind.We're racing down an alley, dodging around dumpsters and piles of newspaper, when I get almost close enough to touch him.  He looks over his shoulder... and trips on a bundle of magazines.  He tumbles on the concrete with an "oomph" that sounds almost like something from our original world.I catch up to him just as he's sitting up.  Bright red blood runs from his nose; there's a rusty smell.  "Guh?" he says.I bend down, put an arm around his shoulder.  "Are you all right, old buddy?"He stares into my eyes for a moment, blood painting his nose and mouth.And then he kisses me.I taste blood.  I feel his warm lips soft under mine. I kiss him back.Then, horrified, I push him away.  "What are we doing, Sprout?""Kissing.  And you liked it as much as I did."  His bloody lips twist into an ironic smile.  "If you couldn't figure that much out, I guess I really am the brains of this partnership.""But... but you're just a kid!"He glares at me.  "I'm twenty-two, Michael."Twenty-two?  It's strange to realize that he's right.  He was fifteen when I adopted him after Maniac killed his parents, but that was... seven years ago.  Where did the time go?  How had I failed to notice he'd grown into a lithe, attractive young man?  "Even so... it's... it's wrong.""Maybe where we came from.  Not here."  He pulls a bandana from his pocket, wipes his mouth.  Blood still trickles from his nose but it's slowing.  "This world is better than ours, Michael.  It's complex and it's mundane and it's sometimes tedious, but it's not just the same round of villains and fights and secret identities over and over again.  It's... it's real, Michael.  And here I can be what I've always wanted to be, instead of just playing a role."  He holds out the bandana.  "And so can you."Sprout keeps holding out the bandana. After a while I take it, and wipe my own mouth.Then I stand up. "I'm a hero, Richard.  It may be a role, but it's the only role I know."Sprout just looks at me.  The expression on his blood-spattered face is a sick compound of longing, sadness, disappointment.  Perhaps I'm learning how to understand what I see in this world.I wonder what the expression on my own face tells him."Give me the magazine, Sprout.  We'll take it to the warehouse where we came in.  I figure that's the best place to try going back to our world.""No."Sprout lies at my feet, looking so small and weak, the front of his blue hoodie stained black with his blood.  I could take the magazine from him easily.  "I'll find another copy.""You don't have any money to buy one.""I'll steal it."He gives a weak little laugh.  "Liar."I have to smile myself.  "Okay, maybe not."  I sit back down.  "Come back with me, Sprout.  You know it's where we belong."He sits up, leans against me.  His shoulder is warm, the only warm thing in this cold, garbage-strewn alley, and I let it rest on my chest.  "Give this world a chance, Michael.  You've only just arrived.  I've already found a job at a nursery.  You could work there too."  He looks up at me.  His nose has stopped bleeding.  "We could share the apartment."I consider the idea.  I put my arm around my sidekick, lean back against the filthy brick wall, and think very hard about it.  This world is amazing, with its details and colors and motions and flavors.  And to share it with Sprout would be... something I hadn't even realized I desired. But in the end, it's duty that wins out.  "I'm sorry, Sprout.  Even if I wanted to -- and there's a part of me that does, believe me -- it's more than just you and me.  There are people depending on us back home.  If we don't go back there, who'll keep the Scimitar Sisters in check?"  I give him one last squeeze, disentangle myself, and stand up.  "Coming?""You're sure I can't change your mind?"I'm so, so tempted.  "I'm sure.""Then I'm coming too."  He stands, brushes himself off.  "I'd rather be a cartoon hero with you than alone here."We walk hand-in-hand back to the warehouse.  As we pass the coffee shop, I pause.  Sprout looks up at me, expectant.  "I, uh... I still have some of my powers here."  I clear my throat.  "I wonder if there's.... if there's any way we can bring... some of this world, back to ours?""I don't think so."  He points to a small shield printed in the corner of the magazine's cover.  "There are rules against it."Finally we find ourselves again in the dark, echoey space where we entered this world.  I think about how strange it looked to me when I first arrived, and I realize I've grown used to these new perceptions.  My old world will seem so flat and colorless by comparison. Sprout stands beside me as I spread the magazine out in a patch of sunlight.  There is no joy in me as I contemplate the garish images full of POW and KRUNCH, only a dull sense of obligation.  "It's not too late to change your mind," Sprout says.  "We can make a life together here.""I'm sorry, Sprout.  Our world needs saving."  But even as I say it, I know I'm trying to convince myself as well as him.  I hold out my hand.Without a word, he takes it.I bend down and stare hard at the last page, showing my cartoon avatar falling into the vortex between worlds.  I exert my will, block out all other sensations, focus my powers on the ink-saturated wood pulp.  Somehow, I know, I can use this image of the portal to return myself and Sprout to the world where we were born.It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I concentrate.  I work my power.  I push and pull and strain... this is as hard as the time I used pea vines to temporarily close up the Grand Canyon.  Harder.I strain still more intensely.  The printed vortex begins to whirl...I feel again, just as I did on that first day in the experimental greenhouse, the deep connection between my soul and the green life underlying the page...I feel the warmth of Sprout's hand in mine...And I realize that the connection runs both ways. With an unprecedented effort of will, I reverse my power. Where before the meteor's green energy had flowed into me at my moment of greatest need, now I send the energy flowing from myself into the printed page. I scream in pain as the power drains from me like my life's blood. The image before me springs to life.  Just as the metal claws release, the cartoon me on the page reaches down and tears open his belt.  Seeds of all descriptions pour out in their thousands, most falling into the vortex, but many others sprouting and twining and filling the portal with leaves and stems and branches.  I bounce off the web of vegetable matter, springing right back toward Dr. Diabolus.  WHAM!  My fist connects with the villain's chin.Then all is blackness.Later.  I open my eyes, and the first thing I see is Dr. Diabolus's lab.  Everything is flat, static, in eight garish colors.  But then I blink, and realize I've fallen face-first into the magazine spread on the floor before me.I sit up.  I'm no longer looking at the last page of The Amazing Phyto-Man issue 157.  It's now the first page of issue 158, a single large panel.  In it Dr. Diabolus, threatened by an enormous Venus flytrap, cowers at the controls of his dimensional portal, through which a grinning Sprout steps to take the hand of Phyto-Man.  All's well in Metro City."Michael?"  Richard is just awakening beside me.  "Wha... what just happened?"It takes me a long, reflective moment to find an answer to his question.  "I... I sent the power back where it came from, I think."  I look within myself.  It certainly isn't in there any more.  "It's with him now."  I tap the page. Richard's eyes dart from the page to my face.  "But that's you.""Not any more.  I'm just Michael now."  I stroke the flat, cartoon version of myself with my fingertips.  "Phyto-Man is back where he belongs.  I don't know how much of me went with him, but I hope... I hope he enjoyed his day in this world.  Maybe he can use what I learned here to make Metro City a better place.""But what about... us?  What happens next?"I close the magazine.  "I don't know.  Isn't it amazing?"END“Into the Nth Dimension” was originally published in Human For A Day, edited by Jennifer Brozek and Martin H. Greenberg in 2011.This recording is a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license which means you can share it with anyone you’d like, but please don’t change or sell it. Our theme is “Aurora Borealis” by Bird Creek, available through the Google Audio Library.Thanks for listening, and I’ll be back on March 1st with “Je me souviens” by Su J. Sokol.

Today we're talking to Dan Schwartz who I was referred to by my friend, Dan Barrett.   His life before real estate was a band member (Pigeons Playing PingPong http://pigeonsplayingpingpong.com/). And while he was playing on the weekends he went to a "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" event (knowing that being self-employed is the route for him), and started his journey in real estate.   Dan met a friend who was doing wholesale rehab house sales on Craigslist. They partnered up because the friend could do the real estate mind-stuff (guessing a resell value within 5-10K) and Dan's specialty was building a business: Making phones ring with leads, setting up processes and measuring and keeping track of things, so nothing falls through the cracks. This partnership thrived and eventually this lead to 7-8 deals a month and quite a nice living income.   BUT! simultaneously, he was still playing in this band. The band's popularity took off and they ended up doing 180 gigs a year all over the country! He had this dream of being a real estate rockstar.... By day, having this awesome real estate job that he can do anywhere and at night, banging on drums and partying. Awesome life! Who doesn't want this?   Enter: Podio. https://podio.com/site/en A cloud-based project management system that he customized and fit to his lifestyle and business style. So he can easily automate, track leads and progress.   I asked him just HOW he gets the phone to ring. Back then- they were doing a lot of prospect writing on MLS (which is still great but only writing dozens of offers a week). But NOW, the hot-ticket in Baltimore is direct mail absentee lists and direct mail (spending 2-3K a month). After doing this for a few months, they started seeing the patterns on the type of returns they were getting. Following the 80/20 rule(https://www.perrymarshall.com/8020-book/), they looked further into the details (like demographics, age, locations, etc) and started target marketing to those specific zip codes and absentee owners.   Eventually Dan worked his way into online PPC marketing, which has also become really effective (90%!!!). And currently, Dan's role is removed from the day-to-day and more about Podio Investor Fuse.   Whoa. Hold on. Big words... What does that mean?   Don't worry. Dan breaks down what Podio is, what you can do with it. Adding apps, customizing different types of sales, creating PDFs of contracts, communicating with your team, automating various actions, etc. But you need to set all that up! Guh! Time consuming! AND EXHAUSTING! What Dan has done is figured out all the hard work- and instead of using third party tools- he has built something under his code and server and you get a fully-functioned workspace for a flat monthly fee.   It is designed with whole-sale in mind (general lead-management system). But the whole system is designed to convert leads.   You aren't using Podio currently? No problem. It's really easy to import your leads from various sources. You ARE using Podio? Great! It still looks the same, so you won't be caught completely off-guard, but you'll be given access to a bunch of new/great stuff!   A few things that you can't do in Podio currently- but can with Dan's Podio system: -click on "make offer" -emailing/texting from the apps (from the actual seller item) -every single touch-point is automatically logged. (every time someone calls, incoming text, email, etc. is all logged) -comparable sales data PDF (from Zillow. a map and analysis is spit out of what someone is looking for)   It's going to be launching in Early Feb 2016. If you want more information, go to: Investorfuse.com (sign up for updates) info@investorfuse.com (email us with questions/comments/concerns!) https://www.facebook.com/investorfuse (the latest updates!)   Here are some demo videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGs3MT4b0Uw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUxqUnClGuE   I know. I know... It sounds like an infomercial.... But trust me, guys! We're entrepreneurs. We shouldn't bog ourselves down with technology that makes our lives harder! Either higher someone else to do it and start focusing your energy on stuff that moves the needle. http://investorfuse.com/skills. And knowing how to build your team. http://investorfuse.com/team/    

So you know how when you record two podcasts in a row and NEITHER of them get recorded properly and they have to be scrapped?? Well that's what happened to us yesterday! GUH! Audacity had the audacity to change settings and mess errythang up! (Jon Gomora's joke). But that's ok because we figured out the problem, and we rallied late last night to slam together this fun podcast where regular host Luke Soin (sorry Joe-Joe was all burnt out by the earlier failure to record) is joined by comedians Emma Haney, Jon Gomora, and John Ross!We start out talking about the Amy Schumer joke-stealing scandal, American Idol, and almost reveal our favorite movies of the year. But then like any good pod we get sidetracked a lot. So switch gears and talk about the issue of diversity in TV and film, Batman VS Superman, movie crossovers, and Nurse Jackie! I apologize that we had to do some mic-swapping throughout so Jon and Emma are sometimes quieter than we would like. BARE WITH US. Follow us on Twitter: @xjohnrossx @Emmamhaney @JonGomora @EpicTikiComedy @BuckyGumsListen to John Ross's amazing podcast, that we've all been guests on at some point, STAB! It's the most criminally obscure podcast in the world! http://stab4gold.com/Send us questions and comments on our Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/epictikistakethepodcast?_rdr=pAlso go to youtube.com/epictikicomedy and check out our videos/subscribe to the channel.Thanks for listening, we love you. 

The team presses on, reviewing "Killing Them Softly". More importantly, they also play Who Wore It Better between Brad Pitt and himself, and introduce the Tiny Awards. All that AND, for Does It Hold Up, they revisit "Fight Club"... which is now 13 fucking years old. Guh.  

Guh-heh-heh! This week is the big return to form for JAAP. The classic structure and schedule is back along with me, Tobbii, as the host. We take a big farewell to Joshiraku after thirteen great episodes and tackle topics such as Hollywood remakes of anime along with the big number of overlooked animes from this season. We then ruin Gregory's life (Again) by forcing him to hear about the show he hates more than everything, oh yes, it's the classic JAAP spirit back into action, and it won't fucking leave no matter how you beg it to.

Created in 1995, HUG (or GUH) have a triple mission.

Guh... I'm sick. Here's a list. Direct link to mp3: http://uberfriendship.com/tttm/tttm_016.mp3

Whoa! There are way too many movies to cover this week! How can we possibly fit 'em all into one 90 minute show? By racing through 'em with the speed of a Triple Crown winner, that's how, as we're chomping at the bit to talk about Disney's latest sports drama, Secretariat! Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel make for the world's best looking parents ever in Life As We Know It. We spend a few minutes with I Spit on Your Grave, a remake of the 1978 revenge thriller. Plus we've got Zack Galifianakis in It's Kind of a Funny Story and Woody Allen's You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. Guh! Plus the news, and next week's DVD releases. My throat's drying up just thinking about it. Call in and join in on the conversation. You never know who might show up, and what we might end up talking about!

DUB ASHER- Hour 2 (Reggae/Dancehall) 1) Ward 21............................................"Garrison".. 2)Mr. Peppa.............................."Gangsta Guerilla".. 3)Busy Signal........................................."Picantie".. 4)Elephant Man............................"Rubba Bounce".. 5)Beenie Man..................................."Galang Girl"... 6)Stacious.........................................."Real Ride"... 7)Talia Coles/Elephant Man................................... ........................................................"Nikki Wine".. 8)Rasheeda/Akon................................................. ............................................."Bump Your Head"... 9)Mavado.............................."Neva believe You".. 10)Akon..........................................................."Until You Come Back"... 11)Busy Signal........................................................"Praise & Worship"... 12)Pebbles/Bam Bam.........................................."Let The Sun Shine In".. 13)Cutty Ranks............................................................."Limb By Limb".. 14)Vybz Kartel....................................."Sumaddy A Gun Get Gun Shot".. 15)Vybz Kartel........................................................."Guns Like These".. 16)Chipmunk/N-Dubz................................................."Lose My Life".. 17)Popcaan/Dosa Medicene..........................."Inna Grave Dem a Guh".. 18)Dotta Cobra..........................................."When the Chrome A Spit".. 19)Elephant Man......................................................."Dance & Sweep".. 20)Erup......................................................................."My Gal Whine".. 21)Bramma................................................................"Wine Up" (rmx).. 22)Beenie Man...................................................................."Are You".. 23)Black Dada/Rick Ross........................................."Rags To Riches".. 24)Charly Black........................................................."Rich This Year'.. 25)Davinci........................................................"Watch Your Friends".. 26)Bob Marley...................................................................."One Dub'.. TRAVIS BICKLE-(Soul/Hip-hop/Samba) 1)Mayer Hawthorne................................................................."Green Eyed Love".. 2)Q-tip/Norah Jones....................................................................."Life Is Better".. 3)Q-tip...................................................................................................."Heels".. 4)Shafiq Husayn/Fatima........................................................................."Lil' Girl".. 5)Michael Jackson.........................."Workin' Day & Night"(original demo version).. 6)Shafiq Husayn...................................................................................."Nirvana".. 7)Watusi.............................................................................................."Oio Gere".. 8)Pete Dunaway............................................................................."Supermarket".. 9)Zeca Do Trombone/Roberto Sax............................................"Coluna Do Meio".. 10)Cry Babies..............................................................................."It's My Thing"... 11)Michael Jackson............................................"Don't Stop Til You Get Enough".. (original demo version)