Podcast appearances and mentions of irvin yalom

Você já usou uma frase da terapia para sairde uma situação difícil sem ter que lidar com ela de verdade? "Isso me dágatilho." "Estou respeitando meu processo." "Esse é meulimite." Essas frases podem ser poderosas — ou podem ser a forma maissofisticada de não mudar nada.Neste episódio, a gente mergulha fundo numtema que poucos têm coragem de tocar: o therapy speak — quando a linguagemterapêutica vira esconderijo, e não ferramenta de transformação. Porqueentender sua ferida não te autoriza a ferir. Nomear seu trauma não substituireparar suas atitudes. E ter consciência do padrão não é o mesmo que sair dele.A gente fala sobre: — O que diz a ciênciasobre insight sem ação (e por que saber não basta) — Por que a Terapia deAceitação e Compromisso (ACT) coloca o movimento como centro da cura — Adiferença entre usar o autoconhecimento para crescer e usá-lo para sejustificar — Uma pergunta prática que você pode fazer a si mesma toda vez queusar uma frase terapêutica numa situação difícilCom base em estudos do Journal of ContextualBehavioral Science, Behavior Research and Therapy e da Universidade deGroningen — e nas ideias de Steven C. Hayes, Carl Rogers e Irvin Yalom.Se você está em terapia, já foi, ouacompanha alguém que usa muito essa linguagem, esse episódio vai te provocar —do jeito certo.

Throughout a career spanning roles as a teacher, BBC television producer, coach and prolific author, Jenny Rogers has never been afraid of getting things wrong.In this episode of The Coach's Journey Podcast, the executive coach, supervisor, trainer and author of coaching titles such as Are You Listening? tells host Neil Mackinnon about the vital importance of experimentation and of embracing our mistakes in order to benefit from a lifetime of learning experiences that make us better coaches and ground us in our humanity.Jenny flies the flag for a whole-life perspective in coaching, eschewing narrow approaches in favour of a style that acknowledges the way our personal and working lives are inextricably intertwined, and makes room for all the parts of us.A deep interest in psychotherapy has enriched Jenny's coaching practice and she highlights the modalities that fascinate her the most, as well as the key therapeutic ideas and techniques that are readily transferrable to any coaching practice.Jenny also discusses her latest books, which address important questions about navigating boundaries as a new coach and working through the challenges many women face in midlife.This episode is full of sage advice drawn from a wonderfully diverse, rich career in coaching and creativity, shared by a practitioner whose dauntless spirit of curiosity and passion for understanding human relationships is as infectious as it is inspiring.Jenny and Neil also talk about:- The relationship between trauma-aware coaching and psychodynamic therapy- Nurturing a healthy writing practice and overcoming creative blocks- How we accumulate rigid ways of thinking, and why it is hard to make change on your own- The art of embodying a place of non-judgement, and offering challenge with compassionTHINGS WE TALKED ABOUT THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN:- Jenny Rogers https://www.jennyrogers.com- BBC https://www.bbc.co.uk- Delia Smith https://www.deliaonline.com- Madhur Jaffrey https://www.madhurjaffrey.com- BBC Two https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctwo- BBC Books https://www.penguin.co.uk/company/publishers/bbc-books- Columbia University https://www.columbia.edu- Management Futures https://www.managementfutures.co.uk- Are You Listening (book) https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/111/1115931/are-you-listening/9780241973986.html- Julia Vaughan-Smith https://www.juliavaughansmith.com- Nscience https://nscience.uk- Franz Ruppert https://www.franz-ruppert.de/en/- Irvin Yalom https://www.yalom.com- The Gift of Therapy (book) https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-gift-of-therapy-irvin-d-yalom- Carl Rogers https://www.britannica.com/biography/Carl-Rogers- Gabor Mate https://www.upaya.org/person/dr-gabor-mate- University College Hospital London https://www.uclh.nhs.uk- Guildhall School of Music & Drama https://www.gsmd.ac.uk- How Not to Be a Doctor, by John Launer https://www.duckworthbooks.co.uk/book/how-not-to-be-a-doctor/- Barbican Centre https://www.barbican.org.uk- City of London Corporation https://www.cityoflondon.gov.uk- EMCC Global https://www.emccglobal.org- ILM https://www.institutelm.com- Coaches Training Institute (Co-Active) https://coactive.comBIOGRAPHY FROM JENNYI am an executive coach, coach trainer and supervisor, and accreditation assessor for APECS, the premier coaching accreditation body of the UK. Along with these roles, I am a writer, textile artist, cook, grandmother and keen walker. Thirty five years ago, I was an early entrant to the world of coaching, after earlier careers in teaching, television production and publishing. Typically, my clients are facing a major transition in their lives and find that a coaching perspective is the key to finding solutions that work. As a coach I work with senior clients in the law, medicine, finance, healthcare, performing arts and media along with volunteer roles for severely disadvantaged women. I consider myself to be a leader in a new approach to coaching which combines insights from psychotherapy with the pragmatic emphasis on change that distinguishes the best coaching traditions.I was honoured to win the Henley Business School Award for Outstanding Contribution to Coaching in 2019. My books include Are You Listening? a book of coaching stories published by Penguin Random House in 2021. I have written 9 other books on coaching, including Coaching Skills: the definitive guide to being a coach. A fifth edition, much updated, was published in 2024. My latest book, Fearless Coaching, will be published in 2026 and a book for women in mid-life (title TBD) in early 2027 by Octopus Books.

Pastry chef, longtime collaborator with Yotam Ottolenghi, and practicing psychologist Helen Goh joins the New Books Network to discuss Baking and the Meaning of Life: How to Find Joy in 100 Recipes, a debut that brings together more than a decade of recipe development with her clinical work in psychotherapy. In this conversation, Goh speaks with host Laura Goldberg about the central question of the book: why we mark important moments with cake. What begins as a simple observation becomes a framework for understanding baking as ritual, a way of expressing care, marking time, and creating meaning through shared experience. Goh describes baking as part of a broader “mosaic” of meaningful acts, where small gestures contribute to a sense of purpose and connection. Drawing on existential thinkers such as Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom, she emphasizes that meaning is something we actively construct in everyday life. The discussion also explores her framework of meaningful activity, including autonomy, competence, relatedness, beneficence, and creativity, and how baking uniquely brings these together. Recipes such as the Pandan and Coconut Chiffon Cake, Green Tea and Red Bean Brownies, and the Very Good Apple Pie reflect the book's blend of cultural memory, technical precision, and emotional resonance. Goh reflects on her path from a Malaysian Chinese upbringing without a baking tradition to an international pastry career and a parallel life in psychology. The book ultimately positions baking as something beyond necessity, an act that reveals how people create connection, ritual, and meaning in everyday life. Interview by Laura Goldberg, longtime food blogger at Vittlesvamp.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/food

What if the anxiety you most want to get rid of is the one you most need to listen to? Existential psychologist Dan Koch and marketing strategist Kristen Tideman join Evan Rosa for a conversation about what anxiety is actually for—and what happens when it turns against you. "To be human is to be unfinished. It is to have constantly limits around you, and your choice is to accept them or pretend they're not there." In this episode, they reflect together on the existential roots of anxiety and what it looks like to confront real limits—from an MS diagnosis to faith upheaval to collective crisis. Together they discuss healthy versus unhealthy anxiety and how to tell them apart, the post-WWII origins of existential therapy, boundary situations and “thrownness,” what denial costs us spiritually and psychologically, and how accepting our limits can paradoxically expand our world. The conversation moves between lived experience of multiple sclerosis and philosophical framework about mortality, between Kierkegaard's "dizziness of freedom" and a three-month-old baby in an emergency room—asking not how to eliminate anxiety, but how to let the right kind of anxiety make your world bigger. Episode Highlights "To be human is to be unfinished. It is to have constantly limits around you, and your choice, among other things, is to accept them or pretend they're not there."—Dan Koch "I was literally in the ER. I'm holding my three-month-old baby who just got here. I'm like, my life just started—and I don't even know what this means. I don't even wanna Google what it means."—Kristen Tideman "Our brains are big enough and our minds are strong enough that unlike deer, plants, and coconuts, we can think about the future. We can imagine our own death."—Dan Koch "There's ways I wanna deny the MS. I wanna deny that that's part of my existence now. I wanna deny even components of my own faith change."—Kristen Tideman "Is my world getting smaller, or is my world getting bigger?"—Dan Koch About Dan Koch Dan Koch is an existential psychologist, therapist, and host of Religion on the Mind, a podcast and media project exploring the intersection of psychology, spirituality, and everyday life. His clinical work focuses on religious change—deconversion, deconstruction, reconstruction—and the downstream effects on identity, family, and meaning-making. He draws on the existential tradition from Kierkegaard and Jaspers through Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom. Koch has spoken openly about his own fifteen-year experience with panic disorder. Learn more and follow at religiononthemind.com [VERIFY] About Kristen Tideman Kristen Tideman is the founder of Tidy Studios, a marketing strategist and creative consultant. She holds a master's degree in philosophy and has brought that background into her work exploring questions of meaning, anxiety, and faith in public conversation. She lives with multiple sclerosis and is a new mother. Learn more and follow at [VERIFY—need Tidy Studios URL and social handles] Helpful Links and Resources Religion on the Mind https://www.religiononthemind.com/ Religion on the Mind https://religiononthemind.substack.com/ Religion on the Mind https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/religion-on-the-mind/id1448000113 Tidy Studios https://www.tidystudios.com/ Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl https://www.beacon.org/Mans-Search-for-Meaning-P602.aspx Dan Koch on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/dankoch Show Notes Why tackle anxiety now—geopolitical overwhelm, media firehose, personal crisis converging Kristen's competing anxieties: new motherhood, MS diagnosis, ongoing faith change Dan's path into existential psychology through clients navigating religious change Existential psychology's post-WWII roots—Viktor Frankl, concentration camps, the search for meaning The atomic bomb as psychological turning point—from imagining one's own death to imagining collective annihilation "Our brains are big enough that unlike deer, plants, and coconuts, we can think about the future. We can imagine our own death." Healthy vs. unhealthy anxiety—the central distinction in existential thought Healthy anxiety broadens your world; unhealthy anxiety becomes self-referential spiral The inner critic mistaken for motivation—when unhealthy anxiety masquerades as drive "I was literally in the ER. I'm holding my three-month-old baby. I'm like, my life just started—and I don't even know what this means." Philosophy becoming flesh—studying mortality vs. receiving a diagnosis "There's ways I wanna deny the MS. I wanna deny that that's part of my existence now. I wanna deny even components of my own faith change." Ontological anxiety vs. pathological anxiety—Kierkegaard's "dizziness of freedom" Avoidance vs. acceptance as the fundamental hinge in existential psychology The body carries what the mind tries to bypass—emotions as literal electricity in the nervous system Thrownness—Heidegger's concept of being tossed into unchosen circumstances Jaspers' shipwreck, Sartre's blind man on a raft, Kierkegaard's captain in a storm Boundary situations—MS, new parenthood, AI, sociopolitical chaos, loss of shared reality Kristen on maturity: "Anything that comes at us, we can use as an excuse to weaken our resolve or to strengthen it." "To be human is to be unfinished. It is to have constantly limits around you, and your choice is to accept them or pretend they're not there." "Is my world getting smaller, or is my world getting bigger?" Neurotic anxiety spins us inward; accepting limits pushes us toward collaboration and community Emmy van Deurzen and Irvin Yalom—real problems require more than one person Loving your neighbor as a practical consequence of accepting your own limits #ExistentialPsychology #Anxiety #MentalHealth #FaithDeconstruction #HumanFlourishing #Kierkegaard #ViktorFrankl #ChronicIllness #MSAwareness #ForTheLifeOfTheWorl Production Notes This podcast featured Kristen Tideman and Dan Koch Edited and Produced by Evan Rosa Hosted by Evan Rosa Production Assistance by Noah Senthil A Production of the Yale Center for Faith & Culture at Yale Divinity School https://faith.yale.edu/about Support For the Life of the World podcast by giving to the Yale Center for Faith & Culture: https://faith.yale.edu/give

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the lessons we can learn from two of Humanistic psychology's more challenging branches: existential psychology and transpersonal psychology. Existential psychology asks what it means to build a meaningful life in the face of death, while Transpersonal psychology wonders if the individual self is what we should be so focused on. Forrest and Rick focus on the work of Rollo May, Irvin Yalom, Abraham Maslow, and Stanislav Grof, and major themes include freedom, agency, anxiety, the limits of the “self,” and how confronting these can lead to a fuller and more meaningful life.  Rick's Self-Worth Course: Starts this week! In this 6-week online course, Rick will guide you in practical, research-backed ways to release old patterns and grow a lasting sense of confidence, kindness toward yourself, and genuine self-worth. Learn more at RickHanson.com/worthy and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro and recap of humanistic psychology 6:12: History and context of existential psychology 12:04: Three important lessons from existentialism 26:03: Agency and meaning making within existential psychology 38:38: Overview of transpersonal psychology 1:00:43: Three important lessons from transpersonal psychology 1:11:14: Closing reflections, and a one word summary 1:14:07: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsSleep Reset is offering a free 7-day trial, available only at thesleepreset.com/podcast. Start your first week of real, clinician-designed insomnia treatment tonight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Irvin Yalom'un Varoluşçu Psikoterapi kitabından son dersimizi bu bölümle tamamlıyoruz

Irvin Yalom'un Varoluşçu Psikoterapi kitabından derslere devam ediyoruz

En este episodio nos acercamos a la psicoterapia existencial a través de la obra de Irvin Yalom para reflexionar sobre lo que él llamó las cuatro grandes preocupaciones existenciales del ser humano: la muerte, la libertad, la soledad y el sentido. Exploramos cómo estas grandes cuestiones atraviesan la vida de todas las personas. Son realidades que muchas veces están presentes detrás de la ansiedad, la incertidumbre o la búsqueda de respuestas. La propuesta es mirar de frente estas preocupaciones para comprender qué lugar ocupan en nuestra vida y cómo podemos relacionarnos con ellas de una manera más consciente y honesta. 🎖️Hazte fan y apoya el podcast: https://www.ivoox.com/support/315218

"We might think that security is everything. But to secure something is to bind it. To keep it still. In contrast, in embracing uncertainty, we discover an ever-changing freedom and flow." —Andy Puddicombe   An unexpected event. From startling good news that seems to come out of the blue or devastating loss, these events and anything in between that occur outside of what we imagine or have forgotten could happen or believed wouldn't happen for some time, provide a powerful medicine to bring out a deeply fulfilling life. These events that shake us awake to the reality that we cannot know how life will unfold from day to day are what American psychiatrist Irvin Yalom describes as 'awakening experiences'. And this awakening is an awesome opportunity, should we choose to see it as such. "Uncertainty has so much to teach us." —Anne-Laure Le Cunff, author of Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World  As a neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and now author, Anne-Laure Le Cunff shares how embracing uncertainty is ironically the "antidote to burnout and boredom alike—a counterforce to the fear, overwhelm, confusion, and loneliness", many people she knows and observes "try to apply old notions of success to the world we're living in today." Paired with befriending our curiosity, practicing mindfulness in our work around our approach to productivity, and keeping an open mind, when we welcome all four into our daily approach to live, that is when our life begins to sing – in the daily rhythm that deepens our contentment and in the outcome of wherever we have set our intentions to extend towards. "When you lean into your curiosity, uncertainty can be a state of expanded possibility, a space for metamorphosis. It's a way to turn challenges into triggers for self-discovery and doubt into a source of opportunity." —Anne-Laure Le Cunff Tune in to the episode to listen to the full episode and find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast422 

En este episodio nos acercamos a la psicoterapia existencial a través de la obra de Irvin Yalom para reflexionar sobre lo que él llamó las cuatro grandes preocupaciones existenciales del ser humano: la muerte, la libertad, la soledad y el sentido. Exploramos cómo estas grandes cuestiones atraviesan la vida de todas las personas. Son realidades que muchas veces están presentes detrás de la ansiedad, la incertidumbre o la búsqueda de respuestas. La propuesta es mirar de frente estas preocupaciones para comprender qué lugar ocupan en nuestra vida y cómo podemos relacionarnos con ellas de una manera más consciente y honesta. 🎖️Hazte fan y apoya el podcast: https://www.ivoox.com/support/315218

En este episodio nos acercamos a la psicoterapia existencial a través de la obra de Irvin Yalom para reflexionar sobre lo que él llamó las cuatro grandes preocupaciones existenciales del ser humano: la muerte, la libertad, la soledad y el sentido. Exploramos cómo estas grandes cuestiones atraviesan la vida de todas las personas. Son realidades que muchas veces están presentes detrás de la ansiedad, la incertidumbre o la búsqueda de respuestas. La propuesta es mirar de frente estas preocupaciones para comprender qué lugar ocupan en nuestra vida y cómo podemos relacionarnos con ellas de una manera más consciente y honesta. 🎖️Hazte fan y apoya el podcast: https://www.ivoox.com/support/315218 Escucha el episodio completo en la app de iVoox, o descubre todo el catálogo de iVoox Originals

Irvin Yalom'un Varoluşçu Psikoterapi kitabından notlarla devam ediyoruz

Irvin Yalom'un Varoluşcu Psikoterapi kitabından derslere devam ediyoruz

What if the belief that you're special is the very thing keeping you from your own life?In this episode, I explore one of the quietest and most consequential assumptions most of us carry: that we matter in a cosmic sense. That we were meant to be here. That our particular existence is not an accident.Drawing on Adam Phillips' razor-sharp provocation in Missing Out, Ernest Becker's unsettling theory of heroism in The Denial of Death, and Irvin Yalom's clinical insight into what he called the illusion of personal specialness, I trace where the need for significance comes from, what it costs us, and what might be waiting on the other side of it.I look at how parents — out of genuine love — install a sense of cosmic specialness in their children, and what happens when adolescence and adulthood deliver the reckoning. I also spend time in the consulting room, where one client's relational struggles turn out to be rooted in something older and deeper than anyone first suspected.This isn't an episode about giving up. It's about the strange freedom that becomes available when we stop needing the universe to confirm us.

Irvin Yalom'un “Varoluşsal Psikoterapi” kitabından derslere devam ediyoruz. Bu bölümde konumuz sorumluluk

"Doctor, why won't you ever tell me how you really feel?" Therapist Self-Disclosure-- Featuring Dr. Carly Zankman This week, Dr. Carly Zankman joins us to discuss a really interesting and controversial topic—self-disclosure by a therapist. When is it helpful? And when is it an ethics violation? When I was a psychiatric resident, my supervisors (mainly psychoanalytic) cautioned me NEVER to share my feelings with patients. This felt really awkward at time, but is there some wisdom in that advice? And if so, what IS the wisdom? How does it work or help? And if that rule—never sharing your feelings or personal life--is too rigid, then when and how should we share our feelings and personal experiences with our patients? What is the goal, and what are the best practices? As most of you know, I have often been extremely critical of what I was taught as a psychiatric resident, thinking the teachings were based more on tradition than on science or data. And when it came to never share your feelings, I sometimes used to think about this issue along these lines: Let's assume that one of our jobs is to help our patients become more vulnerable and genuine, by sharing how they really feel inside instead of acting fake and always presenting a happy or professional face to the world. That goal seems reasonable, and it's a prime goal of a great many therapists. But how are we supposed to accomplish that goal by acting fake and hiding our own feelings? That just did not seem to make sense to me! But there are lots of traps when it comes to sharing your feelings. What if the patient is attracted to you, or vice versa? What if you do not like the patient, or feel turned off by them or annoyed with them? In today's podcast, we will try to sort out some of these questions, with help from the vivacious and brilliant Carly Zankman, Psy.D. (INSERT CARLY'S BIOSKETCH AND BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF HER TEAM CBT CLINICAL WORK IN MOUNTAIN VIEW, California. Carly described being taught similar things in graduate school, cautioning the students against opening up in a personal way during sessions. However, one of her supervisors listened to one of her sessions with a patient, and said, "the greatest gift you bring to therapy is just opening up and bringing your own, genuine and authentic self into the room." Carly described being taught similar things in graduate school, cautioning the students against opening up in a personal way during sessions. However, one of her supervisors listened to one of her therapy sessions with a patient, and said, "Your greatest gift is bringing your own, genuine and authentic self into the room," and from that point forward, everything shifted in how she viewed her role in the therapeutic relationship. Carly describes working with a patient recently and receiving a 19 / 20 on the Empathy scale at the end of the session. Although 9 out of 10 therapists would say that's a terrific, near-perfect score, on our scoring key it is rated as a failing grade. That's because the patient is telling you that you didn't quite "get" something about them, or didn't quite connect with them in a completely warm and supportive way. Carly's patient was a 40 year old recently re-married woman with a new baby, and struggling with a lot of regret, guilt, shame, depression, and anxiety. Carly decided on a hunch it might be a good idea to share her personal story, since she saw this woman as a mirror image of herself. Carly asked the patient if she wanted Carly to share her story, and this patient lit right up and was excited. It turned out to be tremendously helpful and was what she needed to believe Carly's empathy was real and not phony. The patient said that in the past she'd had many therapists, but none of them had ever share their personal experiences or feelings. Why was that so helpful? How does it work? And what are some red lines that you do NOT want to cross as a therapist? These are just a few of the ideas we discussed on today's podcast. We listed and briefly discussed a few of the many situations where it might NOT make sense to share our feelings or experiences with patients. Rhonda pointed out that if you've had a traumatic experience and you're feeling quite depressed, anxious, or angry, and have not yet had the chance to do your own personal work, it would not be the best idea to share it with your patient, because you might be using the patient as your own therapy or support network. You also would not share feelings of sexual or romantic attraction to a patient strong personal feelings of unresolved depression, anxiety, or anger Some feelings you might share with your patient, but only if you have the great therapeutic skill to do so in a helpful, illuminating way, such as feelings of dislike or anger toward the patient. We also discussed the danger of therapy degenerating into a paid friend relationship, and asked how that differed from the work of Dr. Irvin Yalom, the famous Stanford psychiatrist who taught us that developing a genuine human relationship between the therapist and patient IS the goal of therapy. Finally, we exchanged ideas about the model of therapy as a "corrective emotional experience," and none of us seemed to take kindly to that model of therapy. Thanks for listening today! And thanks for the illuminating information from our brilliant and bubbly guest, Dr. Carly Zankman! Thanks for listening today! Carly, Rhonda, and David

At the end of Michael's first Wavemaker Conversation with psychiatrist Irvin Yalom, in 2015, Michael extracted a promise: that Dr. Yalom would join him for another conversation after Yalom completed his memoir. Two years later, Dr. Yalom released his memoir, and kept his promise.Irvin Yalom is a highly esteemed psychoanalyst, with a large, devoted following; a Professor Emeritus at Stanford University; and a best-selling author. Among his most influential books is “Staring At The Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death.”Michael is bringing this conversation with Dr. Yalom and the previous one (entitled 50,000 Hours Of Therapy) out of the Wavemaker archives because he hopes and believes that they will provide fuel for a fulfilling 2026.https://wavemaker.me

At the end of Michael's first Wavemaker Conversation with psychiatrist Irvin Yalom, in 2015, Michael extracted a promise: that Dr. Yalom would join him for another conversation after Yalom completed his memoir. Two years later, Dr. Yalom released his memoir, and kept his promise.Irvin Yalom is a highly esteemed psychoanalyst, with a large, devoted following; a Professor Emeritus at Stanford University; and a best-selling author. Among his most influential books is “Staring At The Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death.”Michael is bringing this conversation with Dr. Yalom and the previous one (entitled 50,000 Hours Of Therapy) out of the Wavemaker archives because he hopes and believes that they will provide fuel for a fulfilling 2026.https://wavemaker.me

Oh, what some people would give to have just one therapy session with Dr. Irvin Yalom. Dr. Yalom is a legendary figure in modern psychotherapy and a best-selling author.  Over half a century, he has spent roughly 50,000 hours working with patients, and many more researching, writing, and teaching at Stanford University. During this conversation, he shared with me what he has taught his patients, and what they have taught him, about how to cope with the fear, or terror, of our own mortality — how staring at the inevitability of death can help us live richer lives.  We also discuss what he considers to be the value of regret; the power of humor; standing in love versus falling in love; whether sex or writing is the more effective way to deal with existential anxiety; and much more. Yalom was 84 when we had this conversation in 2015.  I've pulled it out of the Wavemaker archives now, as we approach the new year — a time for empowering reflection.https://wavemaker.me

Oh, what some people would give to have just one therapy session with Dr. Irvin Yalom. Dr. Yalom is a legendary figure in modern psychotherapy and a best-selling author.  Over half a century, he has spent roughly 50,000 hours working with patients, and many more researching, writing, and teaching at Stanford University. During this conversation, he shared with me what he has taught his patients, and what they have taught him, about how to cope with the fear, or terror, of our own mortality — how staring at the inevitability of death can help us live richer lives.  We also discuss what he considers to be the value of regret; the power of humor; standing in love versus falling in love; whether sex or writing is the more effective way to deal with existential anxiety; and much more. Yalom was 84 when we had this conversation in 2015.  I've pulled it out of the Wavemaker archives now, as we approach the new year — a time for empowering reflection.https://wavemaker.me

Cerrando el ciclo de 10 columnas sobre Un autor, una idea y nuestras familias reales, el psicólogo Matías Muñoz nos trae la sabiduría del último libro de Irvin Yalom. Busquen la playlist para este verano, valen realmente la escucha.Bancas a Citas? Sumate a este link! https://citasderadio.com.ar/se_parte.phpPodcasts en tu whatsapp todos los viernes.Ep. 142 - T. 5

Dr. Amanda Akers, one of our awesome Best Life clinicians, has a free flowing and often funny discussion with me about the ins and outs of psychoanalytic therapy. We cover myths vs reality, why both of us take a deeper perspective than CBT, our own thoughts about the impact of childhood in adulthood, and I ask her the most common questions I get from clients about this approach, like... how long does it take? Why does childhood matter in adulthood? And why does the therapist client relationship matter so much? Also covered: the idea of a "couple's world," and how therapy cannot create one but only return you to one if it existed! Book with Dr. Akers here:https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/dr-amanda-akersBooks we discuss:How To Love Your Daughter: https://amzn.to/3JpMBBcPsychoanalytic Therapy by Nancy McWilliams: https://amzn.to/47BgHK2Love's Executioner by Irvin Yalom: https://amzn.to/4hCVnsd

Katie Fosselius, a licensed therapist at LifeStance Health joins us on this episode to explore one of the most essential elements of effective therapy — the therapeutic relationship. Katie shares her personal path to becoming a therapist and reflects on how empathy, authenticity, and trust form the foundation for healing and growth. Drawing inspiration from pioneers like Carl Rogers and Irvin Yalom, they discuss the power of unconditional positive regard, thoughtful self-disclosure, and genuine connection. Listeners will gain practical insights into how strong client-therapist relationships can shape meaningful therapeutic outcomes.

Irvin Yalom'un “Varoluşçu Psikoterapi” kitabından notlarla bir “ölümle yüzleşme ve barışma” bölümü

Vous étendez une lessive et votre pensée s'envole vers les montagnes que vous allez arpenter pour vos vacances tant attendues. Déjà, le calme que vous imaginez se dégager de cette vallée verdoyante vous apaise, et vous réjouit d'avance. Pourtant, quand quelques semaines plus tard vous déposez enfin vos bagages et levez les yeux vers les sommets, la magie n'opère pas. Ni ce jour-là, ni les suivants. Quel rôle joue l'imaginaire quand on voyage ? Un voyage peut-il être à la hauteur, ou est-ce toujours peine perdue ? Et par quoi exactement est-on déçu ?Dans cet épisode, Marie Misset discute avec son conjoint Charly de leur manière très différente d'appréhender leurs voyages, et avec Clémence et Quentin à propos de leurs voyages décevants. Pour comprendre le plaisir qu'il y a à s'imaginer être ailleurs, et l'ambivalence propre au voyage, elle s'entretient avec la philosophe Juliette Morice, autrice de Renoncer au voyage. Une enquête philosophique et l'historien Gilles Montègre, auteur de Voyager en Europe au temps des lumières.Pour aller plus loin :Marie Misset cite le philosophe Paul Ricoeur et les psychologues Carl R. Rogers, Irvin Yalom et Emily HolmesJuliette Morice cite les écrivain·e·s Marcel Proust, Ella Maillart, Nicolas Bouvier (L'Usage du monde) et Francis Ponge (Le Porte-plume d'Alger)Émotions est un podcast de Louie Media. Marie Misset a tourné, écrit et monté cet épisode. La réalisation sonore est de Guillaume Girault. Clémence Reliat a réalisé le générique, à partir d'un extrait d'En Sommeil de Jaune. Elsa Berthault est en charge de la production. Cet épisode est rendu possible grâce au soutien de Matrice, le centre d'innovation et de prospective qui interroge les transformations technologiques et sociétales à venir.Si vous aussi vous voulez nous raconter votre histoire dans Émotions, écrivez-nous en remplissant ce formulaire ou à l'adresse hello@louiemedia.comPour avoir des news de Louie, des recos podcasts et culturelles, abonnez-vous à notre newsletter en cliquant ici. Vous souhaitez soutenir la création et la diffusion des projets de Louie Media ? Vous pouvez le faire via le Club Louie. Chaque participation est précieuse. Nous vous proposons un soutien sans engagement, annulable à tout moment, soit en une seule fois, soit de manière régulière. Au nom de toute l'équipe de Louie : MERCI ! Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

Dr. David Spiegel is an author, psychiatrist and professor at Stanford University, and one of the world's leading experts into the clinical applications of hypnosis. He has published thirteen books, over 400 scientific articles, and 170 chapters on hypnosis, stress physiology, trauma, and psychotherapy. He is also the creator of REVERI, an innovative guided self hypnosis app which has been clinically proven to reduce stress, improve sleep, and enhance focus. In this lively and wide ranging conversation, we explore: — The exciting new science of clinical hypnosis and how it can be applied in the treatment of addiction and trauma — The importance of focusing on valued directions in clinical work and being a kind parent to yourself — Dr Spiegel's experiences working with Irvin Yalom and what he learned from him — The neural mechanisms that explain why clinical hypnosis works, including dissociation, cognitive flexibility, and absorption — The extent to which we can view hypnosis as a form of “internal exposure therapy”. And more. I used Dr Spiegel's REVERI app to help with sleep earlier this week and found myself out like a light within a few minutes, so I'd highly recommend giving it a try. You can learn more at https://www.reveri.com. --- Dr. David Spiegel is Willson Professor and Associate Chair of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences, Director of the Center on Stress and Health, and Medical Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, where he has been a member of the academic faculty since 1975, and was Chair of the Stanford University Faculty Senate from 2010-2011. He has published thirteen books, over 400 scientific journal articles, and 170 chapters on hypnosis, psychosocial oncology, stress physiology, trauma, and psychotherapy. His research has been supported by the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Cancer Institute, the National Institute on Aging, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Fetzer Institute, the Dana Foundation for Brain Sciences, and the Nathan S. Cummings Foundation. He was a member of the work groups on the stressor and trauma-related disorders for the DSM-IV and DSM-5 editions of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He is Past President of the American College of Psychiatrists and the Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, and is a Member of the National Academy of Medicine. In 2018, Dr Spiegel was invited to speak on hypnosis at the World Economic Forum in Davos in 2018. --- 3 Books Dr Spiegel Recommends Every Therapist Should Read: — Dopamine Nation — Dr Anna Lembke - https://amzn.to/3O6NdKe — Trance and Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis 2nd Edition — Herbert Spiegel and David Spiegel - https://www.appi.org/Products/Psychotherapy/Trance-and-Treatment-Second-Edition — How to Change Your Mind — Michael Pollan - https://amzn.to/3OysDUw

This week we have been exclusively watching 'Magic Mike', shaking a Magic 8-Ball and listening to '24k Magic' by Bruno Mars (which is just awful) in order to win the slightly nervous attention of Adam Ferrier, founder of Thinkerbell; the thinkers, tinkers and practitioners of ‘measured magic'.  A psychology brain sat on top of some sturdy strategy bones, Adam is a rare voice of reason in the largely barmy brand world – as well as being the chief sceptic when it comes to the industry obsession with ‘the customer'. He's also the author of more superb books, including ‘The Advertising effect: How to Change Behaviour' and supplements all this talk-talking with some serious walk-walking through his work that brings marketing science and creative thinking together.  In this episode Adam shares his expertise on brands who forget how to be brands, why every business problem is a behaviour change problem and the forgotten benefits of simply fitting in. This episode is very proudly dedicated to Anne Young.    /////    Follow Adam on LinkedIn Timestamps 09:16 - The impact of D&AD annuals on Adam's career choice 11:19 - Transition from forensic psychology to marketing 16:12 - The perils of customer obsession 22:57 - Balancing brand and customer needs 25:11 - The importance of consumer research Adam's Book Recommendations are: Stop Listening to Your Customers by Adam Ferrier: The Advertising Effect: How to Change Behaviour by Adam Ferrier:  Love's Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom:  Existential Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom:  Here and Now: Tales from the Heart  by Irvin Yalom:  /////

In this episode on Midnight Mass (2021), I explore the portrayal of the crisis of faith that accompanies a world-class existential crisis. Mental Health is Horrifying is hosted by Candis Green, Registered Psychotherapist and owner of Many Moons Therapy...............................................................Show Notes:Join Illuminative Tarot for Working With Trauma to learn creative ways to work with tarot as a supportive partner in the healing process. Want to work together? I offer 1:1 psychotherapy (Ontario), along with tarot, horror, and dreamwork services, but individually and through my group program, the Final Girls Club. Podcast artwork by Chloe Hurst at Contempo MintMike Flanagan opens up about the personal journey that shaped his buzzed-about Midnight Mass by Nick Romano Staring at the sun: Overcoming the terror of death by Irvin Yalom

When we become aware of our innate human nature and stop trying to control something that isn't controllable, we can break away from the mental prison we often find ourselves in and start to recognise that we have more freedom than we thought. Carly draws on the wisdom of psychotherapist, Irvin Yalom and existential philosopher, Jean-Paul Satre to help you gain insight into your human nature and recognise the freedom you have to choose how you live your life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our guest this time is Dr. Daniel N. Watter. Dan is an existential sex therapist and he has so much to say about appreciating sexuality as we age instead of extolling the virtues of youthful sexuality. He has a fresh approach to the connection between death anxiety and sexuality. Dan talks with us about the existential importance of the penis and the idea that the penis is speaking but sometimes in a whisper. Dr. Watter is the author of more than 30 professional articles and book chapters on topics such as sexual function and dysfunction, and ethics in healthcare practice. He most recently completed the new book, The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding Male Sexuality and a new article about men, sex, and aging for the Journal of Sexual Medicine. Dan has been a practicing clinical and forensic psychologist and certified sex therapist for more than 35 years. He is licensed as both a psychologist and a marital and family therapist. In addition, he is Board Certified in Sex Therapy by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), and the American Board of Sexology (ACS), of which he also holds Fellowship status. Dr. Watter is an AASECT certified sex therapy supervisor and has been elected to Fellowship Status in the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health (ISSWSH). In addition to his clinical practice, he is a faculty member at the University of Michigan School of Social Work's Sexual Certification Program and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. He has taught at a number of colleges, universities, and medical schools in the past. Dr. Watter is a member of several professional organizations and has been elected to leadership positions in many including the New Jersey Psychological Association's Ethics Committee, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR), and AASECT. He's been the Chair of the AASECT Ethics Advisory Committee and President of SSTAR. You can reach Dan Watter here. And you can check out his new book here. If you'd like to read any of the other books we discussed, you can find Irvin Yalom's work here, and Peggy Kleinplatz's book, Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers  here. If you want to catch up on other shows, just visit our website and please subscribe! We love our listeners and welcome your feedback, so if you love Our Better Half, please give us a 5-star rating and follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It really helps support our show! As always, thanks for listening!  

December 16, 2024 Discussion on the book "Hour of the Heart" by Irvin Yalom and Benjamin Yalom by Dr. Farid Holakouee

Send us a textIn this week's episode, my guest & clinical psychologist Ali Ilyas, explores the impact and work of existential psychiatrist, Dr. Irvin Yalom. We dive into core themes like: mortality, meaning, death anxiety, and the unique dynamics of the therapist-client relationship, such as transference and countertransference. Ali shares how Yalom's teachings have shaped his personal journey and therapeutic practice, while also discussing the importance of reflecting on death, finding balance between life and death anxiety, and how existential therapy can offer deep insights for those struggling with life's big questions. About Muhammad Ali IlyasAli is a clinical psychologist residing in Dubai, UAE. In his psychotherapy work, Ali guides clients on their journey of self-discovery and helps them navigate existential challenges, using philosophical and psychological perspectives. He has  spoken at platforms such as TEDx events, literary festivals, and podcasts to name a few. Ali is also a neuromarketing consultant, and corporate trainer applying interdisciplinary insights from psychology and related fields to help individuals and organizations achieve their goals and find meaning in their lives.LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aliilyasm/Website: https://www.connectpsychology.ae/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonandthecouch/  Subscribe to the Behind the Stigma podcast on Apple Podcast or Spotify.Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behindthestigmapodcast/

"One of the many paradoxes of the Christian life is that when God sees your genuine humility, He exalts you." Join Dawn and Steve in the Morning for a devotional from Blackaby Ministries International about cultivating humility. Also this hour, Phil Herndon with Tin Man Ministries is in the studio to help us process that powerful emotion called anger. Phil uses a dynamic approach to help his clients recover their hearts and redeem their stories. His therapeutic approach is grounded in the Spiritual Root System™, and is informed by the work of Irvin Yalom, Curt Thompson, Dan Siegel, and Dan Allender. He also integrates perspectives from Judeo-Christian traditions, and pastoral care. Phil works with individuals who have lost their way through addiction, anxiety, depression, struggles with spirituality, or burnout to walk them through the tumultuous and scary times that are so common to the human experience.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Start your day with Dawn and Steve in the Morning as they share a devotional from Open the Bible about praying for our leaders. What are mirror neurons? Phil Herndon from Tin Man Ministries is here to help us learn more about the brain and how fearfully and wonderfully made we are! Phil uses a dynamic approach to help his clients recover their hearts and redeem their stories. His therapeutic approach is grounded in the Spiritual Root System™, and is informed by the work of Irvin Yalom, Curt Thompson, Dan Siegel, and Dan Allender. He also integrates perspectives from Judeo-Christian traditions, and pastoral care. Phil works with individuals who have lost their way through addiction, anxiety, depression, struggles with spirituality, or burnout to walk them through the tumultuous and scary times that are so common to the human experience.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Crisis in Psychotherapy: Reclaiming Its Soul in the Age of Neoliberalism" Summary: Explore the identity crisis facing psychotherapy in today's market-driven healthcare system. Learn how neoliberal capitalism and consumerism have shaped our understanding of self and mental health. Discover why mainstream therapy often reinforces individualistic self-constructions and how digital technologies risk reducing therapy to scripted interactions. Understand the need for psychotherapy to reimagine its approach, addressing social and political contexts of suffering. Join us as we examine the urgent call for a psychotherapy of liberation to combat the mental health toll of late capitalism and build a more just, caring world. Hashtags: #PsychotherapyCrisis #MentalHealthReform #NeoliberalismAndTherapy #TherapyRevolution #SocialJusticeInMentalHealth #CriticalPsychology #HolisticHealing #TherapeuticLiberation #ConsumerismAndMentalHealth #PsychotherapyFuture #CapitalismAndMentalHealth #DeepTherapy #TherapyAndSocialChange #MentalHealthActivism #PsychologicalEmancipation   Key Points: Psychotherapy is facing an identity and purpose crisis in the era of market-driven healthcare, as depth, nuance, and the therapeutic relationship are being displaced by cost containment, standardization, and mass-reproducibility. This crisis stems from a shift in notions of the self and therapy's aims, shaped by the rise of neoliberal capitalism and consumerism. The “empty self” plagued by inner lack pursues fulfillment through goods, experiences, and attainments. Mainstream psychotherapy largely reinforces this alienated, individualistic self-construction. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and manualized treatments focus narrowly on “maladaptive” thoughts and behaviors without examining broader contexts. The biomedical model's hegemony views psychological struggles as brain diseases treated pharmacologically, individualizing and medicalizing distress despite research linking it to life pains like poverty, unemployment, trauma, and isolation. Digital technologies further the trend towards disembodied, technocratic mental healthcare, risking reducing therapy to scripted interactions and gamified inputs. The neoliberal transformation of psychotherapy in the 1970s, examined by sociologist Samuel Binkley, aligned the dominant therapeutic model centered on personal growth and self-actualization with a neoliberal agenda that cast individuals as enterprising consumers responsible for their own fulfillment. To reclaim its emancipatory potential, psychotherapy must reimagine its understanding of the self and psychological distress, moving beyond an intrapsychic focus to grapple with the social, political, and existential contexts of suffering. This transformation requires fostering critical consciousness, relational vitality, collective empowerment, and aligning with movements for social justice and systemic change. The struggle to reimagine therapy is inseparable from the struggle to build a more just, caring, and sustainable world. A psychotherapy of liberation is urgently needed to address the mental health toll of late capitalism. The neoliberal restructuring of healthcare and academia marginalized psychotherapy's humanistic foundations, subordinating mental health services to market logic and elevating reductive, manualized approaches. Psychotherapy's capitulation to market forces reflects a broader disenchantment of politics by economics, reducing the complexities of mental distress to quantifiable, medicalized entities and eviscerating human subjectivity. While intuitive and phenomenological approaches are celebrated in other scientific fields like linguistics and physics, they are often dismissed in mainstream psychology, reflecting an aversion to knowledge that resists quantification. Psychotherapy should expand its understanding of meaningful evidence, making room for intuitive insights, subjective experiences, and phenomenological explorations alongside quantitative data. Academic psychology's hostility towards Jungian concepts, even as neurology revalidates them under different names, reflects hypocrisy and a commitment to familiar but ineffective models. To reclaim its relevance, psychotherapy must reconnect with its philosophical and anthropological roots, reintegrating broader frameworks to develop a more holistic understanding of mental health beyond symptom management. How Market Forces are Shaping the Practice and Future of Psychotherapy The field of psychotherapy faces an identity and purpose crisis in the era of market-driven healthcare. As managed care, pharmaceutical dominance, and the biomedical model reshape mental health treatment, psychotherapy's traditional foundations – depth, nuance, the therapeutic relationship – are being displaced by the imperatives of cost containment, standardization, and mass-reproducibility. This shift reflects the ascendancy of a neoliberal cultural ideology reducing the complexity of human suffering to decontextualized symptoms to be efficiently eliminated, not a meaningful experience to be explored and transformed. In “Constructing the Self, Constructing America,” cultural historian Philip Cushman argues this psychotherapy crisis stems from a shift in notions of the self and therapy's aims. Individual identity and psychological health are shaped by cultural, economic and political forces, not universal. The rise of neoliberal capitalism and consumerism birthed the “empty self” plagued by inner lack, pursuing fulfillment through goods, experiences, and attainments – insecure, inadequate, fearing to fall behind in life's competitive race. Mainstream psychotherapy largely reinforces this alienated, individualistic self-construction. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and manualized treatment focus narrowly on “maladaptive” thoughts and behaviors without examining social, political, existential contexts. Packaging therapy into standardized modules strips away relational essence for managed care's needs. Therapists become technicians reinforcing a decontextualized view locating problems solely in the individual, overlooking unjust social conditions shaping lives and psyches. Central is the biomedical model's hegemony, viewing psychological struggles as brain diseases treated pharmacologically – a seductive but illusory promise. Antidepressant use has massively grown despite efficacy and safety doubts, driven by pharma marketing casting everyday distress as a medical condition, not deeper malaise. The model individualizes and medicalizes distress despite research linking depression to life pains like poverty, unemployment, trauma, isolation. Digital technologies further the trend towards disembodied, technocratic mental healthcare. Online therapy platforms and apps expand access but risk reducing therapy to scripted interactions and gamified inputs, not genuine, embodied attunement and meaning-making. In his book “Getting Loose: Lifestyle Consumption in the 1970s,” sociologist Samuel Binkley examines how the social transformations of the 1970s, driven by the rise of neoliberalism and consumer culture, profoundly reshaped notions of selfhood and the goals of therapeutic practice. Binkley argues that the dominant therapeutic model that emerged during this period – one centered on the pursuit of personal growth, self-actualization, and the “loosening” of the self from traditional constraints – unwittingly aligned itself with a neoliberal agenda that cast individuals as enterprising consumers responsible for their own fulfillment and well-being. While ostensibly liberatory, this “getting loose” ethos, Binkley contends, ultimately reinforced the atomization and alienation of the self under late capitalism. By locating the source of and solution to psychological distress solely within the individual psyche, it obscured the broader social, economic, and political forces shaping mental health. In doing so, it inadvertently contributed to the very conditions of “getting loose” – the pervasive sense of being unmoored, fragmented, and adrift – that it sought to alleviate. Binkley's analysis offers a powerful lens for understanding the current crisis of psychotherapy. It suggests that the field's increasing embrace of decontextualized, technocratic approaches to treatment is not merely a capitulation to market pressures, but a logical extension of a therapeutic paradigm that has long been complicit with the individualizing logic of neoliberalism. If psychotherapy is to reclaim its emancipatory potential, it must fundamentally reimagine its understanding of the self and the nature of psychological distress. This reimagining requires a move beyond the intrapsychic focus of traditional therapy to one that grapples with the social, political, and existential contexts of suffering. It means working to foster critical consciousness, relational vitality, and collective empowerment – helping individuals to deconstruct the oppressive narratives and power structures that constrain their lives, and to tap into alternative sources of identity, belonging, and purpose. Such a transformation is not just a matter of therapeutic technique, but of political and ethical commitment. It demands that therapists reimagine their work not merely as a means of alleviating individual symptoms, but as a form of social and political action aimed at nurturing personal and collective liberation. This means cultivating spaces of collective healing and visioning, and aligning ourselves with the movements for social justice and systemic change. At stake is nothing less than the survival of psychotherapy as a healing art. If current trends persist, our field will devolve into a caricature of itself, a hollow simulacrum of the ‘branded, efficient, quality-controlled' treatment packages hocked by managed care. Therapists will be relegated to the role of glorified skills coaches and symptom-suppression specialists, while the deep psychic wounds and social pathologies underlying the epidemic of mental distress will metastasize unchecked. The choice before us is stark: Do we collude with a system that offers only the veneer of care while perpetuating the conditions of collective madness? Or do we commit ourselves anew to the still-revolutionary praxis of tending psyche, dialoguing with the unconscious, and ‘giving a soul to psychiatry' (Hillman, 1992)? Ultimately, the struggle to reimagine therapy is inseparable from the struggle to build a more just, caring, and sustainable world. As the mental health toll of late capitalism continues to mount, the need for a psychotherapy of liberation has never been more urgent. By rising to this challenge, we open up new possibilities for resilience, regeneration, and revolutionary love – and begin to create the world we long for, even as we heal the world we have. The Neoliberal Transformation of Psychotherapy The shift in psychotherapy's identity and purpose can be traced to the broader socioeconomic transformations of the late 20th century, particularly the rise of neoliberalism under the Reagan and Thatcher administrations. Neoliberal ideology, with its emphasis on privatization, deregulation, and the supremacy of market forces, profoundly reshaped the landscapes of healthcare and academia in which psychotherapy is embedded. As healthcare became increasingly privatized and profit-driven, the provision of mental health services was subordinated to the logic of the market. The ascendancy of managed care organizations and private insurance companies created powerful new stakeholders who saw psychotherapy not as a healing art, but as a commodity to be standardized, packaged, and sold. Under this market-driven system, the value of therapy was reduced to its cost-effectiveness and its capacity to produce swift, measurable outcomes. Depth, nuance, and the exploration of meaning – the traditional heart of the therapeutic enterprise – were casualties of this shift. Concurrent with these changes in healthcare, the neoliberal restructuring of academia further marginalized psychotherapy's humanistic foundations. As universities increasingly embraced a corporate model, they became beholden to the same market imperatives of efficiency, standardization, and quantification. In this milieu, the kind of research and training that could sustain a rich, multi-faceted understanding of the therapeutic process was devalued in favor of reductive, manualized approaches more amenable to the demands of the market. This academic climate elevated a narrow caste of specialists – often far removed from clinical practice – who were empowered to define the parameters of legitimate knowledge and practice in the field. Beholden to the interests of managed care, the pharmaceutical industry, and the biomedical establishment, these “experts” played a key role in cementing the hegemony of the medical model and sidelining alternative therapeutic paradigms. Psychotherapy training increasingly reflected these distorted priorities, producing generations of therapists versed in the language of symptom management and behavioral intervention, but often lacking a deeper understanding of the human condition. As researcher William Davies has argued, this neoliberal transformation of psychotherapy reflects a broader “disenchantment of politics by economics.” By reducing the complexities of mental distress to quantifiable, medicalized entities, the field has become complicit in the evisceration of human subjectivity under late capitalism. In place of a situated, meaning-making self, we are left with the hollow figure of “homo economicus” – a rational, self-interested actor shorn of deeper psychological and spiritual moorings. Tragically, the public discourse around mental health has largely been corralled into this narrow, market-friendly mold. Discussions of “chemical imbalances,” “evidence-based treatments,” and “quick fixes” abound, while more searching explorations of the psychospiritual malaise of our times are relegated to the margins. The result is a flattened, impoverished understanding of both the nature of psychological distress and the possibilities of therapeutic transformation. Psychotherapy's capitulation to market forces is thus not merely an abdication of its healing potential, but a betrayal of its emancipatory promise. By uncritically aligning itself with the dominant ideology of our age, the field has become an instrument of social control rather than a catalyst for individual and collective liberation. If therapy is to reclaim its soul, it must begin by confronting this history and imagining alternative futures beyond the neoliberal horizon. Intuition in Other Scientific Fields Noam Chomsky's groundbreaking work in linguistics and cognitive science has long been accepted as scientific canon, despite its heavy reliance on intuition and introspective phenomenology. His theories of deep grammatical structures and an innate language acquisition device in the human mind emerged not from controlled experiments or quantitative data analysis, but from a deep, intuitive engagement with the patterns of human language and thought. Yet while Chomsky's ideas are celebrated for their revolutionary implications, similar approaches in the field of psychotherapy are often met with skepticism or outright dismissal. The work of Carl Jung, for instance, which posits the existence of a collective unconscious and universal archetypes shaping human experience, is often relegated to the realm of pseudoscience or mysticism by the mainstream psychological establishment. This double standard reflects a deep-seated insecurity within academic and medical psychology about engaging with phenomena that resist easy quantification or empirical verification. There is a pervasive fear of straying too far from the narrow confines of what can be measured, controlled, and reduced to standardized formulas. Ironically, this insecurity persists even as cutting-edge research in fields like neuroscience and cognitive psychology increasingly validates many of Jung's once-marginalized ideas. Concepts like “implicit memory,” “event-related potentials,” and “predictive processing” bear striking resemblances to Jungian notions of the unconscious mind, while advanced brain imaging techniques confirm the neurological basis of personality frameworks like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). Yet rather than acknowledging the pioneering nature of Jung's insights, the psychological establishment often repackages these ideas in more palatable, “scientific” terminology. This aversion to intuition and subjective experience is hardly unique to psychotherapy. Across the sciences, there is a widespread mistrust of knowledge that cannot be reduced to quantifiable data points and mathematical models. However, some of the most transformative scientific advances have emerged from precisely this kind of intuitive, imaginative thinking. Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, for instance, emerged not from empirical data, but from a thought experiment – an act of pure imagination. The physicist David Bohm's innovative theories about the implicate order of the universe were rooted in a profoundly intuitive understanding of reality. And the mathematician Srinivasa Ramanujan attributed his brilliant insights to visions from a Hindu goddess – a claim that might be dismissed as delusional in a clinical context, but is celebrated as an expression of his unique genius. Psychotherapy should not abandon empirical rigor or the scientific method, but rather expand its understanding of what constitutes meaningful evidence. By making room for intuitive insights, subjective experiences, and phenomenological explorations alongside quantitative data and experimental findings, the field can develop a richer, more multidimensional understanding of the human mind and the process of psychological transformation. This expansive, integrative approach is necessary for psychotherapy to rise to the challenges of our time – the crisis of meaning and authenticity in an increasingly fragmented world, the epidemic of mental illness and addiction, and the collective traumas of social oppression and ecological devastation. Only by honoring the full spectrum of human knowledge and experience can we hope to catalyze the kind of deep, lasting change that our world so desperately needs. It is a particular vexation of mine that academic psychology is so hostile to the vague but perennial ideas about the unconscious that Jung and others posited. Now neurology is re-validating Jungian concepts under different names like “implicit memory”, “event-related potentials”, and “secondary and tertiary consciousness”, while qEEG brain maps are validating the underlying assumptions of the Jungian-derived MBTI. Yet the academy still cannot admit they were wrong and Jung was right, even as they publish papers in “premiere” academic journals like The Lancet that denounce Jung as pseudoscience while repurposing his ideas. This is another example of hypocrisy. Academia seems to believe its publications have innate efficacy and ethics as long as the proper rituals of psychological research are enacted. If you cite your sources, review recent literature in your echo chamber, disclose financial interests, and profess ignorance of your profession's history and the unethical systems funding your existence, then you are doing research correctly. But the systems paying for your work and existence are not mere “financial interests” – that's just business! This is considered perfectly rational, as long as one doesn't think too deeply about it. Claiming “I don't get into that stuff” or “I do academic/medical psychology” has become a way to defend oneself from not having a basic understanding of how humans and cultures are traumatized or motivated, even while running universities and hospitals. The attitude seems to be: “Let's just keep handing out CBT and drugs for another 50 years, ‘rationally' and ‘evidence-based' of course, and see how much worse things get in mental health.” No wonder outcomes and the replication crisis worsen every year, even as healthcare is ostensibly guided by rational, empirical forces. Academia has created a model of reality called science, applied so single-mindedly that they no longer care if the outcomes mirror those of the real world science was meant to serve! Academic and medical psychology have created a copy of the world they interact with, pretending it reflects reality while it fundamentally cannot, due to the material incentives driving it. We've created a scientific model meant to reflect reality, but mistake it for reality itself. We reach in vain to move objects in the mirror instead of putting the mirror away and engaging with what's actually there. How do we not see that hyper-rationalism is just another form of religion, even as we tried to replace religion with it? This conception of psychology is not only an imaginary model, but actively at war with the real, cutting us off from truly logical, evidence-based pathways we could pursue. It wars with objective reality because both demand our total allegiance. We must choose entirely between the object and its reflection, god and idol. We must decide if we want the uncertainty of real science or the imaginary sandbox we pretend is science. Adherence to this simulacrum in search of effective trauma and mental illness treatments has itself become a cultural trauma response – an addiction to the familiar and broken over the effective and frightening. This is no different than a cult or conspiracy theory. A major pillar of our civilization would rather perpetuate what is familiar and broken than dare to change. Such methodological fundamentalism is indistinguishable from religious devotion. We have a group so committed to their notion of the rational that they've decided reason and empiricism should no longer be beholden to reality. How is our approach to clinical psychology research any different than a belief in magic? The deflections of those controlling mainstream psychology should sound familiar – they are the same ego defenses we'd identify in a traumatized therapy patient. Academic psychology's reasoning is starting to resemble what it would diagnose as a personality disorder: “It's not me doing it wrong, even though I'm not getting the results I want! It's the world that's wrong by not enabling my preferred approach. Effective practitioners must be cheating or deluded. Those who do it like me are right, though none of us get good results. We'd better keep doing it our way, but harder.” As noted in my Healing the Modern Soul series, I believe that since part of psychology's role is to functionally define the “self”, clinical psychology is inherently political. Material forces will always seek to define and control what psychology can be. Most healthy definitions of self threaten baseless tradition, hierarchy, fascism, capital hoarding, and the co-opting of culture to manipulate consumption. Our culture is sick, and thus resistant to a psychology that would challenge its unhealthy games with a coherent sense of self. Like any patient, our culture wants to deflect and fears the first step of healing: admitting you have a problem. That sickness strokes the right egos and lines the right pockets, a societal-scale version of Berne's interpersonal games. Our current psychological paradigm requires a hierarchy with one group playing sick, emotional child to the other's hyper-rational, all-knowing parent. The relationship is inherently transactional, and we need to make it more authentic and collaborative. I have argued before  that one of the key challenges facing psychotherapy today is the fragmentation and complexity of modern identity. In a globalized, digitally-connected world, we are constantly navigating a myriad of roles, relationships, and cultural contexts, each with its own set of expectations and demands. Even though most people would agree that our system is bad the fragmentary nature of the postmodern has left us looking through a kaleidoscope. We are unable to agree on hero, villain, cause, solution, framework or label. This fragmentation leads to a sense of disconnection and confusion, a feeling that we are not living an authentic or integrated life. The task of psychotherapy, in this context, is to help individuals develop a more coherent and resilient sense of self, one that can withstand the centrifugal forces of modern existence. Psychotherapy can become a new mirror to cancel out the confusing reflections of the kaleidoscope. We need a new better functioning understanding of self in psychology for society to see the self and for the self to see clearly our society. The Fragmentation of Psychotherapy: Reconnecting with Philosophy and Anthropology To reclaim its soul and relevance, psychotherapy must reconnect with its philosophical and anthropological roots. These disciplines offer essential perspectives on the nature of human existence, the formation of meaning and identity, and the cultural contexts that shape our psychological realities. By reintegrating these broader frameworks, we can develop a more holistic and nuanced understanding of mental health that goes beyond the narrow confines of symptom management. Many of the most influential figures in the history of psychotherapy have argued for this more integrative approach. Irvin Yalom, for instance, has long championed an existential orientation to therapy that grapples with the fundamental questions of human existence – death, freedom, isolation, and meaninglessness. Erik Erikson's psychosocial theory of development explicitly situated psychological growth within a broader cultural and historical context. Peter Levine's work on trauma healing draws heavily from anthropological insights into the body's innate capacity for self-regulation and resilience. Carl Jung, perhaps more than any other figure, insisted on the inseparability of psychology from broader humanistic inquiry. His concepts of the collective unconscious and archetypes were rooted in a deep engagement with mythology, anthropology, and comparative religion. Jung understood that individual psychological struggles often reflect larger cultural and spiritual crises, and that healing must address both personal and collective dimensions of experience. Despite the profound insights offered by these thinkers, mainstream psychotherapy has largely ignored their calls for a more integrative approach. The field's increasing alignment with the medical model and its pursuit of “evidence-based” treatments has led to a narrow focus on standardized interventions that can be easily quantified and replicated. While this approach has its merits, it often comes at the cost of deeper engagement with the philosophical and cultural dimensions of psychological experience. The relationship between psychology, philosophy, and anthropology is not merely a matter of academic interest – it is essential to the practice of effective and meaningful therapy. Philosophy provides the conceptual tools to grapple with questions of meaning, ethics, and the nature of consciousness that are often at the heart of psychological distress. Anthropology offers crucial insights into the cultural shaping of identity, the diversity of human experience, and the social contexts that give rise to mental health challenges. By reconnecting with these disciplines, psychotherapy can develop a more nuanced and culturally informed approach to healing. This might involve: Incorporating philosophical inquiry into the therapeutic process, helping clients explore questions of meaning, purpose, and values. Drawing on anthropological insights to understand how cultural norms and social structures shape psychological experience and expressions of distress. Developing more holistic models of mental health that account for the interconnectedness of mind, body, culture, and environment. Fostering dialogue between psychotherapists, philosophers, and anthropologists to enrich our understanding of human experience and suffering. Training therapists in a broader range of humanistic disciplines to cultivate a more integrative and culturally sensitive approach to healing. The reintegration of philosophy and anthropology into psychotherapy is not merely an academic exercise – it is essential for addressing the complex psychological challenges of our time. As we grapple with global crises like climate change, political polarization, and the erosion of traditional sources of meaning, we need a psychology that can engage with the big questions of human existence and the cultural forces shaping our collective psyche. By reclaiming its connections to philosophy and anthropology, psychotherapy can move beyond its current crisis and reclaim its role as a vital force for individual and collective healing. In doing so, it can offer not just symptom relief, but a deeper engagement with the fundamental questions of what it means to be human in an increasingly complex and interconnected world. References: Binkley, S. (2007). Getting loose: Lifestyle consumption in the 1970s. Duke University Press. Cipriani, A., Furukawa, T. A., Salanti, G., Chaimani, A., Atkinson, L. Z., Ogawa, Y., … & Geddes, J. R. (2018). Comparative efficacy and acceptability of 21 antidepressant drugs for the acute treatment of adults with major depressive disorder: a systematic review and network meta-analysis. The Lancet, 391(10128), 1357-1366. Cushman, P. (1995). Constructing the self, constructing America: A cultural history of psychotherapy. Boston: Addison-Wesley. Davies, W. (2014). The limits of neoliberalism: Authority, sovereignty and the logic of competition. Sage. Fisher, M. (2009). Capitalist realism: Is there no alternative?. John Hunt Publishing. Hillman, J. (1992). The thought of the heart and the soul of the world. Spring Publications. Kirsch, I. (2010). The emperor's new drugs: Exploding the antidepressant myth. Basic Books. Layton, L. (2009). Who's responsible? Our mutual implication in each other's suffering. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 19(2), 105-120. Penny, L. (2015). Self-care isn't enough. We need community care to thrive. Open Democracy. Retrieved from https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/transformation/selfcare-isnt-enough-we-need-community-care-to-thrive/ Rose, N. (2019). Our psychiatric future: The politics of mental health. John Wiley & Sons. Samuels, A. (2014). Politics on the couch: Citizenship and the internal life. Karnac Books. Shedler, J. (2018). Where is the evidence for “evidence-based” therapy?. Psychiatric Clinics, 41(2), 319-329. Sugarman, J. (2015). Neoliberalism and psychological ethics. Journal of Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology, 35(2), 103. Watkins, M., & Shulman, H. (2008). Toward psychologies of liberation. Palgrave Macmillan. Whitaker, R. (2010). Anatomy of an epidemic: Magic bullets, psychiatric drugs, and the astonishing rise of mental illness in America. Broadway Books. Winerman, L. (2017). By the numbers: Antidepressant use on the rise. Monitor on Psychology, 48(10), 120. Suggested further reading: Bordo, S. (2004). Unbearable weight: Feminism, Western culture, and the body. University of California Press. Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. WW Norton & Company. Deleuze, G., & Guattari, F. (1988). A thousand plateaus: Capitalism and schizophrenia. Bloomsbury Publishing. Fanon, F. (2007). The wretched of the earth. Grove/Atlantic, Inc. Foucault, M. (1988). Madness and civilization: A history of insanity in the age of reason. Vintage. Freire, P. (1970). Pedagogy of the oppressed. Bloomsbury publishing USA. Fromm, E. (1955). The sane society. Routledge. Hari, J. (2018). Lost connections: Uncovering the real causes of depression–and the unexpected solutions. Bloomsbury Publishing USA. Herman, J. L. (2015). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence–from domestic abuse to political terror. Hachette UK. hooks, b. (2014). Teaching to transgress. Routledge. Illouz, E. (2008). Saving the modern soul: Therapy, emotions, and the culture of self-help. Univ of California Press. Laing, R. D. (1960). The divided self: An existential study in sanity and madness. Penguin UK. Martín-Baró, I. (1996). Writings for a liberation psychology. Harvard University Press. McKenzie, K., & Bhui, K. (Eds.). (2020). Institutional racism in psychiatry and clinical psychology: Race matters in mental health. Springer Nature. Metzl, J. M. (2010). The protest psychosis: How schizophrenia became a black disease. Beacon Press. Orr, J. (2006). Panic diaries: A genealogy of panic disorder. Duke University Press. Scaer, R. (2014). The body bears the burden: Trauma, dissociation, and disease. Routledge. Szasz, T. S. (1997). The manufacture of madness: A comparative study of the inquisition and the mental health movement. Syracuse University Press. Taylor, C. (2012). Sources of the self: The making of the modern identity. Cambridge University Press. Teo, T. (2015). Critical psychology: A geography of intellectual engagement and resistance. American Psychologist, 70(3), 243. Tolleson, J. (2011). Saving the world one patient at a time: Psychoanalysis and social critique. Psychotherapy and Politics International, 9(2), 160-170.

In this short episode, Dr. Fred reflects on his recent podcast interview with Rachel Fiorentino, a nurse and tarot card reader. He expresses his newfound appreciation for tarot cards as a powerful tool for self-discovery and healing. Dr. Fred shares the insights he gained from the tarot card readings Rachel gave him during the podcast. The first reading revealed that he relies too heavily on his intellect, represented by the swords, and needs to listen more to his heart, represented by the Ace of Cups. The second reading, featuring the Devil, the Hangman, and the High Priestess cards, resonated with Dr. Fred's role as "the Undoctor" - someone who challenges conventional narratives around mental illness. It encouraged him to shed his ego, embrace his unique perspective, and follow his intuition on a path towards self-actualization. Dr. Fred discusses how this experience aligns with his recent studies of Carl Rogers, Irvin Yalom, and mindfulness meditation, all guiding him towards self-actualization and transforming the conversation around mental health. He invites listeners to be open-minded about tarot cards, just as practices like meditation and yoga were once considered "woo-woo" but are now mainstream. Dr. Fred sees tarot as a beautiful way to tap into the subconscious, unconscious, and super-conscious aspects of ourselves on the journey of self-discovery. Overall, the episode promotes an appreciation for tarot cards as a valuable healing modality and encourages listeners to explore Rachel's upcoming full podcast interview.  

Hey guys, welcome back to The Mind Mate Podcast! I'm your host, Tom Ahern, and in today's episode, we're diving deep into the fascinating world of psychotherapy through the eyes of two legendary figures: Carl Rogers and Irvin Yalom. Carl Rogers, the mastermind behind client-centred therapy, has revolutionised the way we think about the therapeutic process. One of his most famous quotes is, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Today, we'll explore how Rogers' emphasis on unconditional positive regard, empathy, and authenticity creates a nurturing environment where clients can truly thrive and discover their genuine selves. On the flip side, we have Irvin Yalom, a pioneer in existential psychotherapy, who brings a unique perspective on the human condition. Yalom's approach is deeply rooted in addressing fundamental human concerns like death, freedom, isolation, and meaning. He beautifully encapsulates his philosophy with the quote, "The therapist is the fellow traveler, not a master or superior; the aim is to guide the patient on a journey of self-discovery." We'll discuss how his collaborative and humanistic approach helps individuals navigate their existential journeys.In this episode, I'll be breaking down the core principles of both Rogers' and Yalom's therapeutic goals, and how their insights can help us achieve greater self-understanding, acceptance, and fulfilment. Whether you're a therapist, a psychology enthusiast, or someone keen on personal growth, this episode is packed with valuable insights and inspiration.So, sit back, relax, and join me as we uncover the transformative potential of therapy with the wisdom of Carl Rogers and Irvin Yalom. *** The Mind Mate podcast provides listeners with tools and ideas to get to know themselves. Psychology-based with an existential twist, the podcast delves into topics ranging from philosophy, spirituality, creativity, psychedelia and, of course, the meaning of life! Your host Tom is a counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in existential concerns and relationships. He is also a writer who enjoys exploring the ideas that emerge in therapy to help people live meaningful lives. Find out more here: https://ahern.blog/

Dr. Christof Koch: Consciousness, Free Will & The Grand Theory of Everything In this episode we interview Dr. Christof Koch, a trained physicist turned neuroscientist who's primary area of research focuses on consciousness. We sit down with Dr. Koch to discuss his latest book "Then I am Myself the World" out in May of 2024 on Basic Books where he recounts his experience with consciousness altering substances, Integrated Information Theory, which is the foundational theory for his research, and of course...what he's currently reading! You can find all of the books mentioned in this episode in the links below. ⁠⁠ In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan ⁠https://amzn.to/3WlhDy4⁠ The Schopenhauer Cure by Irvin Yalom ⁠https://amzn.to/4b1JdoK⁠ When Nietzsche Wept by Irvin Yalom ⁠https://amzn.to/3UnSLDd⁠ The Feeling of Life Itself by Christof Koch ⁠https://amzn.to/3Umeewf⁠ The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley ⁠https://amzn.to/3Qtn61Y⁠ Oblivion by David Foster Wallace ⁠https://amzn.to/3WkLG91⁠ Determined by Robert Sapolsky ⁠https://amzn.to/3JH1Imc⁠

This week on The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, I'm getting existential. There's been an uptick in discussion in my therapy practice around the concept of death, the meaning of life, and existential dread. So, naturally I'm turning to tarot to help me examine, ponder, and even come to terms with my own existential dread. The Five of Cups, Queen of Swords, Hanged Man, Two of Wands, and Nine of Cups all make an appearance and help to write the narrative of an existential crisis. I'm inspired by Freud's essay “On Transience” as well as the work of Dr. Irvin Yalom this episode. Deck used: Tarot Vintage (of course) If you love The Tarot Diagnosis Podcast, please be sure to hit those 5 stars and write us a review on whatever platform you listen to us on. It really is a HUGE help to us and allows more people to see our podcast! Have a topic you'd like to hear about? We're always interested in hearing your suggestions!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to submit a topic! Don't forget to subscribe to our email list to get all kinds of free mental health and tarot goodies on our website, as well as access to our private membership community The Symposium!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.TheTarotDiagnosis.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow The Tarot Diagnosis on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheTarotDiagnosis⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Audio Edited by Anthony DiGiacomo of⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Deep Resonance Sound⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Contact: DeepResonanceSound@gmail.com Music by Timmoor from Pixabay

Embark on a transformative journey through the landscape of group therapy with us, your seasoned navigators, Dr. Linton Hutchinson and Stacy Frost. With a nod to the pioneering work of Dr. Irvin Yalom, we're tearing down the walls of traditional mental health discussions, bringing to light the essential concepts for your Licensure Exams. Prepare to break the ice on therapy modalities, from individual sessions to the communal embrace of group, couples, and family therapy.This episode is a treasure trove of insights, where the warmth of shared stories meets the cool analysis of therapeutic factors. We chart Yalom's eleven therapeutic touchstones that spark change in group therapy settings, starting with the 'installation of hope' and journeying through to the 'concept of universality.' Whether you're seeking to replenish your mental health knowledge reservoir or simply curious about the collective healing power of shared experiences, we've got the antidote to the textbook tedium. Get ready to be inspired by the camaraderie and growth that only a group dynamic can foster.If you need to study for your national licensing exam, try the free samplers at: LicensureExamsThis podcast is not associated with the NBCC, AMFTRB, ASW, ANCC, NASP, NAADAC, CCMC, NCPG, CRCC, or any state or governmental agency responsible for licensure.

Irvin Yalom 'Yas başkalarını sevme cesaretine sahip olduğumuz için ödediğimiz bedeldir' diyor. Bu bölüm başkalarını sevme cesaretine sahip olanlara gelsin. Kitap Kulübüne Katıl : https://superpeer.com/bilgesen/collection/kitap-kulubu-felsefe-edebiyat-ve-psikoloji-uzerine-okumalar ⁠ ******* Bana yazın: genelsesler@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bilge56/message

The WTTA clinical team, led this episode by Dr. DB Palmer, explores the concepts and foundations of one of counseling's oldest (but least understood) orientations: existential psychotherapy. In this exploration, Dr. Palmer and the team discuss how to handle all sorts of life matters - including death - as viewed through the existential therapy lens. To learn more about this, we recommend reading books by Irvin Yalom, such as Love's Executioner, Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, or anything by Rollo May.

When I received an email about this new book, I knew I wanted to talk with its author. The book? The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control. The author? Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google. She's worked with many high-achieving women who are told they need to find "balance" - as if they're doing something wrong! Katherine tells us instead that what's important is to learn about the five different types of constructive perfectionism so that it can work for you! As she says, "You can dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful!" She's an eloquent writer and speaker and it was wonderful having her on SelfWork as she helps these women exchange superficial control for real power.  Hope you'll listen in and learn! Advertisers' Links: Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! Vital Links: The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power My TEDx talk that today has earned 100,000 views! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, The Selfwork Podcast.  Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you'd like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook! And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You'll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you're giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I'll look forward to hearing from you! Episode Transcript: Speaker 1: Dr. Margaret This is SelfWork. And I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford At Self-Work. We'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world and what to do about them. I'm Dr. Margaret, and Self-Work is a podcast dedicated to you, taking just a few minutes today for your own selfwork. Hello and welcome or welcome back to SelfWork. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. I started this podcast now, almost seven years ago, to extend the walls of my practice to many of you who've already been in therapy and very interested in psychological and mental issues, emotional issues, to those of you who might have just been diagnosed with something and you're looking for answers. And also to a third group of you that might be a little skeptical about the whole mental health treatment thing. And even admitting to someone that you need help, that's a step in and of itself. So listening to a podcast, it's a real safe way to do that, right? Welcome to all of you. Y'all all know that I've written a book called Perfectly Hidden Depression, where we need to look at perfectionism as it serves as a camouflage for really a lot of inner struggle, despair, loneliness, and even sometimes suicidal thinking. So I was very interested to see a book that's come out talking more about the positive aspects of perfectionism, what I would term constructive perfectionism rather than destructive perfectionism. So there's a new book by Katherine Morgan Schafler called The Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control. And she says, you know, you don't have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. She says, for women who are sick of being given the generic advice that they just need to find balance, her new approach has arrived, and she's categorized these constructive perfectionists in five ways: classic, intense, Parisian, messy or procrastinator. Which one could you be? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy. This book is elegantly written. I had to comment at the very beginning of the interview. I think it's one of the best books, at least self-help books that I've ever read, including my own. So Catherine's book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving full of life clients who have filled the author's private practice and who changed her life. Ultimately, her book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you'll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power, is what she says. So I was very interested to talk with Katherine, and we talked a few weeks ago, and that's our episode for today, Katherine Morgan Schafler. So this episode is sponsored once again by Better Help, because when you are ready to ask for help, maybe that will be the venue that you turn to because it is so easy, affordable for many, and very, very conducive to whatever lifestyle you are living. So let's hear from Better Help. BetterHelp Ad: I recently heard a fascinating reframe for the idea of asking for help. Maybe you view asking for help as something someone does who's falling apart or who isn't strong. So consider this. What if asking for help means that you won't let anything get in your way of solving an issue, finding out an answer or discovering a better direction? Asking for help is much more about your determination to recognize what needs your attention, or what is getting in your way of having the life you want better help. The number one online therapy provider makes reaching out about as easy as it can get. Within 48 hours, you'll have a professional licensed therapist with whom you can text, email, or talk with to guide you, and you're not having to comb through therapist websites or drive to appointments. It's convenient, inexpensive, and readily available. Now, you can find a therapist that fits your needs with better help. And if you use the code or link Better help.com/selfwork, you get 10% off your first month of sessions. So just do it. You'll be glad you did. That. Link again is better help.com/selfwork to get 10% off your first month of services. And now I want to introduce you to Catherine Morgan Schaeffler, the author of The Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control. Interview: Speaker 1: Dr. Margaret Catherine, I I, I was reading your book and, and I will tell you that I, I think you're one of the most eloquent writers that I've ever interviewed and I've interviewed a bunch. Speaker 2: Katherine Schafler Wow, thank you so much. Speaker 1: The way you use language, the way you approach ideas and the way you get them across is really, it makes the book not only very compelling, but it's it's just a pleasure to read. It's, it's a, it's the, it's very evocative and, and I just so enjoyed the way you think and the way you put things. So the process of the book was really good, I thought. 2: Thank you. That is so flattering. I will take that. Thank you so much. 1: Oh, good. So tell SelfWork listeners a little bit about you, who you are, how you get, you know, how you got to be an author, all that kind of thing. 2: Sure. So my name's Katherine Morgan Schafler. I live in New York City, and I'm a psychotherapist and, and I, I think I always secretly wanted to write, but it was never in the forefront of my mind because I really do love being a therapist and, and my private practice was the soul of my work and still is. But I just noticed so many patterns as, as I know you have, because I've read your book as well, which is also fantastic. It was hooked on that intro story, which is every therapist's worst nightmare of Natalie and everything. Anyway, I digress. So, you know, when it is your job to listen to the most intimate pieces of someone's life, unfiltered, uncut and totally honest, that there's something special and sacred about that. And you kind of have your pulse on the zeitgeist in the way that other professions don't necessarily allow. And for me, recognizing patterns across so many clinical settings, across so many de demographics, culturally, socioeconomically, and in all these kinds of ways, really compelled me to contain it somewhere. Mm-Hmm. , hence the book. Mm-Hmm. . So I wrote The Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control, A Path to Peace and Power, because that's, I noticed, universal. 1: That's my cue to show it. . Yeah. , yes. 2: So I, I really noticed universal plates around perfectionism that we are not talking about in commercial wellness. And not only are we not talking about them, we are talking about perfectionism. Like we fully understand it, like we know what it is, and you know, it's agreed upon in the research world that we're in the infancy of understanding this construct and that we don't even have a, an a formal clinical definition for so much of this stuff. And that really... 1: I noticed you call it an innate natural human tendency mm-hmm.Yeah. I thought that was interesting. 2: Yeah. You know, I think that it is natural and innate, and natural does not mean immediately healthy. Mm-Hmm. mm-hmm. , you know, like anger is also natural. That doesn't mean that anger is always healthy, but it also doesn't mean that it's not that there aren't wonderful expressions of that impulse within us. And that if we can just harness our natural innate human impulses instead of trying to eradicate them and get rid of them, which doesn't work, it will never work. I'm glad it will never work, because perfectionism is so powerful. Anger is such a powerful tool. All these things that we think are bad. Mm-Hmm. , they're not bad. They're powerful. 1: Yes. And they can be used in that way. You know, I, of course, I was thinking about my own writing and, and research and work when I was reading your book, and I really loved the juxtaposition of, of what your focus was and what my focus was. Which your focus is much more to a look at the, the beauty of perfectionism and celebrate it in many ways. And, and yet also look for when it's becoming something that, you know, like you said, all the five different types have their pros and their cons. Right. There are things that are great about them, and then there's things that are a little more vulnerable about them. Whereas my work is more talking about trauma and perfectionism and how that can, how perfectionism can at times, certainly not all the time be a camouflage of some kind, something that someone learns how to do in order to cope with the trauma that they have. So they mm-hmm. Anyway, enough about that. But I, I, I so enjoyed looking at this other side of it. And how did you come up with the five different categories? I mean, is that something just observation, clinical observation? 2: Yes. Well, first, let me say, I really resonate with what you just said, because my first job in this profession was working in residential treatment with kids in LA who had been severely abused and neglected so much so that they were no longer even in foster care because their family of origin had in some way not been fit to parent. And then they were abused and neglected in foster care, and then they became what was called wards of the state. Yes. And I saw so much perfectionism, maladaptive perfectionism of just shape shifting, of being around an adult and immediately trying to assess, "Okay, who do they want me to be?" Speaker 2: Who does this grownup want me to be? How do I, how do I best be whatever they need me to be right in this moment to stay safe. 1: Yeah. It's like a supervisor told me once, if you go into someone's home where you meet a family, always pay attention to the child that is quiet in the corner. . 2: Yeah. I put that in my book too. I had, I had similar advice from my supervisor who said, really specifically, pay attention to the children who are behaving perfectly. And I think that's a common adage in training and therapy, because, you know, kids have natural frenetic energy so often, and they're a little bit all over the place, and, and that's a good thing. But when they are trying to manage so much, they you know, fade themselves out. But to return to your original question, I came up with the five types because I was really trying to understand a phenomenon that I was noticing, which was, you know, I, I worked onsite at Google. I had a private practice on Wall Street. I worked in a rehab in Brooklyn in all these different, you've been , all these different settings. And I was able to take a client from my rehab and a client from my private practice on Wall Street and on, and see that they were both going to respond similarly to a certain situation. And those kinds of things started happening all the time. And I'm like, what is the tie that binds this true? Love it. And I thought for a moment, like, is it attachment theory? Is it this, is it what is happening? And how come I can predict with reasonable reliability, how people are going to respond to certain, you know, stimulus? And that's where the five types came from. I said, oh, it's perfectionism that is manifesting here, and it manifests in a patterned way. 1: So the, just to let the listeners know, the five types are: classic, procrastinator, messy, intense, and Parisian. And having lived in Paris for a little while I thought was, that one was very interesting. Oh, I think the French would love that they were some type of perfectness. 2: Well, you know, I I came up with that title because, you know, the, the beauty aesthetic for French women is so, so understated and simple in the sense that like, simplicity is the greatest form of sophistication. Like, it's very much signaling a a subtext of I'm not trying too hard. And the Parisian perfectionist really is embarrassed about other people knowing how much they care about something. Oh, that's, you know, and so they wanna be a little bit effortlessly cool. I'm not trying too hard. I don't care if you like me or not. Speaker 2: Meanwhile, they care a lot. And as I talk about in the book, that's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing to prioritize connection and relationships and understand the power of those connections that you have. And that is what Parisian perfectionists do. Every perfectionist is chasing an ideal mm-hmm. . And we think of perfectionism in a one dimensional way, as in behavioral perfectionism. So I want everything to be organized and in its place when actually perfectionism is kaleidoscopic. And so perfectionism can show up interpersonally, I want to be perfectly liked by you, or perfectly understood, or I wanna be the perfect mother, the perfect whatever. And that doesn't look like I wanna act and say the perfect things. It's so much more nuanced. That's why I love this subject, because the person is holding in their mind a pie chart of what the perfect mother, let's say, okay. Speaker 2: Behaves like. Right. It's not that she never screams, it's that when she loses her cool, it's only to a certain amount. And then she's immediately able to make successful repair attempts and she's continually, you know, improving and getting better. And, you know, she's, and so when we think of perfect, we think of happy all the time, or never making a mistake, but perfectionism is actually very individualized. Mm-Hmm. , and it's based on the own person's sense of what is, you know, this shows up another example of emotional perfectionism showing up is like, what is the perfect way to feel when you bump into an X ? Right? So it's like, I wanna feel 5% nostalgic, 20% just indifferent, and I don't care. And like 50% confident, empowered, and, you know, I wanna forget about it 10 minutes later. And so, you know, that's where we get to the nuance of perfectionism is those, those little pie charts that we walk around with our minds. 1: I, I think that's great. And, and I'm not sure what I would do if my heads, I don't think it would be perfect, whatever it was. 2: We don't wanna find out. We don't need to find out. Right. that can remain a mystery for us all. 1: It seems more targeted or focused on women. You talk a lot about misogyny, and I totally agree with you. And, and yet how would men be? 2: You know, you're the first person to ask me that question, and I've done so many podcasts. Thank you for asking that, because this is something I wanna talk more about. Unfortunately, like everything can't fit in a book, but perfectionism in men, typically, and I, you know, this is like a heteronormative version of perfectionism in men, typically shows up in like, the perfect response for a man is to be strong, to not cry, to know what to do, and to be able to pretty immediately execute on those actions. Speaker 2: Right? So there's no allowance for inaction. There's no allowance for more feminine qualities of, you know, I need comfort, I need guidance, I need counsel, I need love, I need all the things that men need, but feel unable to either access or ask for, or even recognizing themselves that they need because we've so polarized what it means to be a man and a woman in this, in this ridiculous way that we all know intellectually. But when we are in that position of, of feeling in need, you know, it's hard to be able to operate with a broadened perspective on all that stuff. 1: I was talking to one of my own clients yesterday about asking for help, and I quoted your quote . Hmm. He said, asking for help is refusal to give up. And that's how I frame it. I loved that. So anyway, again, there are lots of little, no, not so little just very noteworthy and memorable.Is that a word? Memorable, things things, quotes in your book. 2: Well, I'm glad that we're including men 'cause people have asked me that question too. And, and what I've noticed and I, I certainly have men, many men come to mind that I've worked with that Right. Fit into this rubric. So, I mean, I'm sure you've noticed the difference between what happens when men cry in front of you in a session, for example. Right. I mean, it's always vulnerable when clients go there. They're meaning like a very emotionally like live wire place when men do it. There, there is like a palpable sense of shame in the room, you know, of like, oh, I am really out of control right now. I am really losing it. Mm-Hmm. . 1: Yeah. I, I I love to say to folks, I think tears are about intensity, not weakness. 2: Mm. I like that reframe. We believe. 1: So one of the things that I appreciated so much about your book is that you spend several chapters on what you can do about it, is what I say on SelfWork all time. What can you do about it? Yeah. And I wanna get there, but before I do, I think there were really in this kind of sense of celebrating, but also trying to understand what the underbelly of perfectionism is. You, you said there are two guiding questions mm-hmm. , how am I striving and why am I striving? Can you talk about that a little bit? 2: Sure. So, you know, mental health and being healthy is not like a coordinate that you just plant your flag in and say, I've arrived. I'm healthy now. And healthy versions of perfectionism and unhealthy versions, like everybody always wants to know, am I healthy, perfectionist or not? And I'm like, let me kill the suspense. You're both, I'm both, anyone who's a perfectionist is both Exactly. Mm-Hmm. . And so I encourage people to think of it on a spectrum, right? And so in instead of a categorical model of I am or am not, the questions of how and why help you really be a little more thoughtful about your level of awareness. So the how it am it skin, it's that, right? Exactly. Exactly. And so the how is like, how am I striving? Am I striving in a way that is hurting me, that is burning me out, that is exploiting people around me, that is, you know, costing me something that I value my integrity, you know, my health, my relationships with my family, whatever it is that's unhealthy perfectionism, maladaptive perfectionism. Conversely, am I striving in a way that makes me feel like more of myself, that helps me to feel alive, that increases my curiosity, that really energizes me and also, you know, tires me out because this is work, you know, but it tires me out in a way that feels satisfying, right? That's healthy adaptive perfectionism. And the why am I striving is like, why am I trying to pursue the thing that I am in pursuit of? Is it because I think achieving that thing is going to enable me to then feel a certain way that once I, once I get my doctorate, then I can feel smart or know that I'm smart. Or once I get married, then I can feel like a grownup or lovable or legit or, you know, is it gonna certify my belonging in some way? Are you trying to get a ticket of admission into some club mm-hmm. , or that's that's, that's unhealthy perfectionism? Or am I striving because it feels so good in the most, in the deepest way to find a pursuit worthy of a lifetime of striving, right. 1: And it's a process, it's a, yeah, you're enjoying the whole nine yards from A to z I mean, you may be tired when you get to Z but it's something that is, like you say, is feeding you at the same time that you are, that you are putting out that kind of energy and determination. 2: Yes, thank you. That's a great point. There's a level of reciprocation of energy, whereas when it's maladaptive and unhealthy, it feels like just hemorrhaging energy, just like, you know, such a cost. And so this most simple example is when people try to look their best, right? Healthy perfectionists might want to, some perfectionists don't really care about the way that they present, but if you're in a healthy place and you do care about the way that you present, you might decide to present, you know, as your best to look your best because you feel your best on the inside. And you wanna animate that and celebrate that and share that and let people know that. Whereas if you are in a maladaptive space, you do the exact same behavior, right. You're looking your best, but you're doing that because you already feel like you're at such a deficit and you already feel unworthy. So the thinking is, I better look my best because I'm already coming to this meeting, this marriage, this whatever it is from a place of lack. And so I need to compensate for that somehow. So I'm gonna, you know, try to compensate by looking my best. So it's very . Yeah. I mean, it's what you're talking about in your book of it's hidden only, you know? Mm-Hmm. only, you know, whether you are focused on looking your best because you know, you truly feel that inside and you wanna animate that mm-hmm. or because you feel a void inside and you wanna try to fill that. 1: I love that term "animate." I think that is very 'cause it does feel as if you are Disney your life in some ways. 'cause You want to, you're trying to, you know, Gordon Flett says, "The better I do, the better I must do."  2: And so it's just this constant cycle of, of of animating that, you know that way you want to seem Yeah, yeah, yeah. In destructive perfectionism. 1: Right. I love those two questions. Help me understand, because I, I got puzzled a little bit about, you talk about balance in a negative way mm-hmm. and I, I understood it. In many ways, it's, you, you know, you can't have it all. You, you just, you know, that's just not gonna happen. But you, you talk about balance is actually an energetic equilibrium. There's another one of those phrases that I loved, and because you've become, you've become being good at being busy. So can you sure. Yeah. 2: So that a little bit for us, yeah. Balance is a wonderful pursuit in its original definition, which is energetic equilibrium. Mm-Hmm. right. Balance in its, yeah. You know, original form is about how you feel on the inside. Right. Balance as we talk about it in commercial wellness has become a, about being good at being busy mm-hmm. mm-hmm. . And so we've really lost the inside of what balance means and we're operating with a shell casing. Yeah, that's an excellent point. Yeah. And so, you know, the people that are genuinely have found this sweet spot of their energetic equilibrium on the outside, they look like the opposite of balanced. You know, they're not able to juggle any task you throw at them. And, and they're not, you know, perfectly moving through their day with all of the, you know, it's not about that. And so it, that section was about the implicit sort of wild goose chase that we send women on, which is, you know what, you know what your problem is, you are not balanced enough. Yeah. Let me help you to be balanced. Do this, say this mantra in the morning and buy this like Instapot so that you can make quinoa, , and you know get this app that's gonna help you to learn French, because balanced people are really cultured and travel enough and all this stuff. And it's like, just becomes another another achievement. You must, but now I must achieve balance. Yeah. And you know, I talk about it in the book, like when we were all young girls, we were told that the story that a prince was gonna come and rescue us, right? And that if we just make the most out of being trapped or kidnapped or, you know, being an orphan or whatever travesty that we're in and do what is good and virtuous, then one day the prince will come and save us and we will live as this story goes happily ever after. And now as adult women, we are being sold that same exact story. And the prince has been replaced by this idea of balance that is so superficial, it's not real, and it never arrives. It's like, balance is always, oh, after the holidays I'll, I'll find balance. Oh, this is such a stressful week at work. I can't wait till Saturday. I'm gonna, you know, what I'm gonna have, get level set on Saturday. And then it's always in the future. And it never comes. And, and we don't notice that it never comes because as women, we are too busy blaming ourselves for it's delay. And it is not our fault. The reason that we never come, that it never comes is because this fake notion of balance is not real. It's just an idea. It's not real. Mm-Hmm. . 1: Yeah. It's a really intriguing thought. And I, I think it, it certainly I'm glad you said it and brought it up in the conversation in your book. 'Cause I, I think it's, it's something that maybe people, as you say, have swallowed a this com. 2: I used the term commercial a few minutes ago, this commercial version of balance. And, you know, you see people meditating on commercials and you know, making sure they take their, you know, all their medicine 'cause another medicine is going to fix that. Right? So medicine and yoga pants, the right outfit, , and a quick vodka martini perhaps. Oh, that too. Sure. 1: You said there are 10 changes in thinking that you can have and then 10 changes in your behaviors. So I would, I would love for you to just pick one of those maybe that you don't get to talk about very much. Mm-Hmm. , I just wrote a few of them down. Counterfactual thinking Maintenance and is triumph, difficulty versus challenge. And what I can't read my own handwriting, the getting connected Simple isn't easy, which I loved that one. Mm-Hmm. And then some of the behaviors are restoration, reframe, explain, and express. Do less than, do more. Those are just a few that I wrote down. But what do you not get to talk about that you'd like to talk about? 2: Oh, thank you for that. So I think strike when the iron is cold. Like one of my favorite strategies it's a phrase that comes from the Dr. Irvin Yalom who is, you know, a celebrated psychologist and writer. And the idea here is that the best time to address a conflict or something that is really challenging to you is not when the iron is hot. It's not in the moment that you're in the conflict, right? It's when the conflict and you have some distance between themselves. So the strategy that, you know, the way I applied it in the book is like, the best time to work on your maladaptive perfectionism is when it's not showing up. Yes. For you. It's when you're in a great space. Because when you're in a healthy space, that's when you feel most solutions oriented. That's when you feel confident enough to ask for help. That's when you feel, you know, that you have the most energy to maybe set or adjust a routine such that you are able to encounter, you know, your deepest self every day or your goals or whatever it is that you, you know, if you're anything like me can lose sight of really easily, you know, I have to remind myself of like my basic values every day just because otherwise we get so distracted and so striking when the iron is, is cold applied outside of managing perfectionism might look like, let's say you and your partner have a real hot button issue going on. Mm-Hmm. the time to talk about that is when you are feeling very connected to that person. Exactly. And when, when you and that person are laughing, you're having a good time, you feel safe together. And that's when you wanna say, listen, I, I've been thinking about something that I'd like to have a conversation about. It's important to me. Do you have time? Mm-Hmm. And energy to listen to that right now? Or are you up for that right now? Mm-Hmm. and the person will probably be able to receive that versus, you know, let's just say for argument's sake, the, the issue is one, you know, one person comes home late and they don't say that they're coming home late and the other person feels dismissed and disrespected and blah, blah, blah. Okay. So striking when the iron is hot would look like noticing it's seven o'clock. My partner said they would be home at, at 6 45, 0, 15 minutes. You're building resentment, you're, you're, you know, you're just having an argument in your head and then seven 12 rolls by and your partner comes home and you're just like, why didn't you tell me? We have talked about this. I wanna talk about this right now. You either respect me or you don't. And you just engage in this very unproductive back and forth, which creates immediate defensiveness. Nobody feels really safe and nobody feels open. There's, there's such a tiny, if not invisible or, or not even invisible, but just like doesn't exist opportunity for solution in those moments. You're just doing damage control at that point. Sure. Of course. 1: Strike when the iron is cold. That's a great, great way of putting it. And I've never heard it before. So that's that's, that's another one that will stick with me. I have sneaking suspicion. And then again, some of your behavioral suggestions are also really, really good. Which one do you not get to talk about ? Well so I mean, I think that if people understood that asking for help looks like not just asking for emotional help, that's actually a reframe of of perspective. 2: It's not one of the behavioral strategies, but I think it applies to behavioral strategies. Because if we're talking about the behavior of asking for help, being able to understand that, so often we don't ask for help because we think of my, of help in this myopic one dimensional way, which is asking for help means being emotionally vulnerable and having to tell someone something that feels private or scary to acknowledge. And emotional help is one version of help. I identify six in the book. There are many more. And so other versions of help include informational help. Mm-Hmm. , right? So if you, if you just started a business and you are really stressed out with the mechanics of filing your taxes under, you know, this a new P L L C as opposed to the way you've always filed your taxes in life, you are stressed and you need help and understanding, wait a minute, I don't need necessarily a therapy session about this. I need to talk to an accountant and ask them two specific questions. I need informational help. And so just being able to organize the kind of help you need and create buckets in your mind. There's tangible help, there's physical help, there's financial help, there's emotional help, there's informational help and there's community help. And again, that's just the intro class, right? , they're all different kinds of help. And so asking for help doesn't have to look like bearing your soul to somebody. You know, I, I'm thinking laughing to myself about this past weekend. I, I'm short, I'm like five three and I am too. Oh, . And I was at the grocery store and the thing I wanted Creme Fraise was way at the top. And I was standing there and trying to hold on and I thought, I'm just not gonna ask for help. And I knocked the hole, the shelf off, , it all kept rumbling down. Oh God, didn't I just ask for help? So 2: Yeah. I know there are so many moments where we don't ask for help for no good reason. And then there are other moments when we don't ask for help for reasons that we think are good, but other people, you know, they, I was just talking about this to a friend where it's like, you don't ask for help because you think you are burdening someone. Mm-Hmm. when actually asking for help is an invitation to connect and let people show up for you. And it also gives other people license to ask for help from you. Love to ask for help. Yeah. Be asked for help. It's like, oh, you see me as someone that can help you? That's very flattering to me. 1:  Right. A lot of people do. So well the, the book's title is again, the Perfectionist Guide to Losing Control, A Path to Peace and Power by Katherine Morgan Schafler. And I'm also curious, and I saw that one of your certifications was from the Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy in New York, and, but your afterward is very interesting. Mm-Hmm. . 2: Yeah. I put that in in the last second 'cause I was scared to put it in because I was like, it it, it has God in it. Yeah. It has God, God language, . And I was really raised, not, not religiously and so to me, but I've always believed in God. Mm-Hmm. and it felt like a really intellectual book. And it also felt incomplete without that afterwards. So I just snuck it in there, . 1: I love it. I thought, wow, what, this is really revealing another part of her. Yeah. So it was and the way you feel about that kind of connection, how you feel about connection. Yeah. 2: Well, I'll tell you where that came from. I remember being in my apartment before I even had a book proposal and just having a ton of index cards. 'cause I'm old school and I like to write stuff on index cards and lay them out to organize my thoughts. And I was like, what is this book gonna be about? What is it not gonna be about? How am I going to structure it? And I just had that, you know, I call it in the afterward Waking Dream. I was sitting there and I just saw what I wrote in the afterward and it was just like a ten second thing. And I, and I was like, that is the spine of the book. And at, when I finished the book, something about it didn't feel complete and it was not including that little, you know, half a page afterward. And then I put it in and I felt such a peace in heart and mind, and I really love that part too. So thank you for, for sharing that. 1: Of course. Well, if for SelfWork listeners who are going to actually pick this book up, which I would highly recommend, I'm not gonna spoil it by reading it because I think it's just very, oh gosh, it, it evoked curiosity. It evoked gentleness. I don't know. It was just very, it was very interesting that you would, and I, I, I felt like you were letting us in a little bit to who you are and, and what makes you tick. So that's, that was really a beautiful thing to write. Hmm. Thank you. Anything else that you would like for us to hear about you or about your work? 2. Well the book is a conversation starter, and I could, you know, I think we all could talk about this in so many different directions and ways. And I continue the conversation on my site, which is Katherine Morgan Schafler.com, and you can find me on instagram@Katherinemorganschafler.com. And and I just wanna thank you for having me on. This has been such a thoughtful conversation and I also wanna Thank you. I have your book here. Oh. And I wanna, I wanna thank you for laying the groundwork. You know, you and so many other practitioners, you know, Dr. Brene Brown comes to mind, Flett and Hewitt, obviously, you know, all these people that really cemented how perfectionism can go wrong and how much we need to be mindful of that and understand that we need bumper lanes on this thing mm-hmm. or else we are going to crash. Mm-Hmm. . And, you know, the crash for perfectionism is very serious. And I talk about those serious risks in the book. And the reason that I was able to write a book about a sort of broader perspective was because the, you know, part about how maladaptive perfectionism can go wrong was so clearly laid out. And so I appreciate that and it gave me license to really explore. And I never get a chance to tell the people who wrote books. I mean, isn't that the best part of being an author is that you get to talk to other people who write other authors and about being a podcast host as well, so . Yeah, right. But man, being a podcast host looks so hard to me. It look, I mean, it looks easy on the surface, but just by being on all these podcasts, even just as a guest, I'm like, God, the level of technology, alone, . Well, that's when you, thank God for your team and your audio engineer . Mm-Hmm. . Thank you Catherine. So very, very much. My pleasure. Thank you. Of course. Thanks to Catherine for a wonderful interview. I'm so appreciative of her work and the fact that she also actually in the beginnings of the book does talk about how perfectionism can be destructive. So we're really more on the same page than I initially thought. Thanks for the reviews you're leaving for SelfWork. Wherever you listen, keep 'em coming. Thank you for your support and for being here today. And please take very good care of yourself, your family, and your community. Of course, our hearts are broken by what has happened in Hawaii. And so if you know someone there or if your life is affected by that tragic wildfire, please know that we are helping and we want to help. And I urge everybody listening, give whatever you can to the American Red Cross or the organization of your choice to help out these Hawaiians who have lost everything. I'm Dr. Margaret, and this has been SelfWork.    

Danny has mixed emotions about Father's Day. He's trying to balance his needs with the demands of parenting and wants to hear more about fatherhood. He's also curious if being psychiatrists changes our views on parenting.  Michelle (34:30) is a newly minted therapist and has questions about the role of transference and countertransference in our sessions. She'd also like to know if we have advice for someone just starting out as a therapist.  _______ David argues that balancing personal and parenting needs can be especially hard when--like Danny--you're trying to create a different kind of life for your child.  At 08:33 we discuss the various meanings of fatherhood.  We discuss our personal experiences starting at 12:49 which quickly becomes sentimental. At 17:29 we discuss parenting as psychiatrists. At 24:50 David has 2 hot tips from psychotherapy that he applies to parenting.  David recommends (32:00) the work of David Lancy to get some perspective on modern parenting (http://www.anthropologyofchildhood.usu.edu). The books we mention at the end of Act 2 for the new therapist are: The Gift of Therapy by Irvin Yalom, M.D and Deepening the Treatment by Jane Hall, LCSW If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com 

We have decided to call time on Two Shrinks Pod as our personal and professional lives have prevented us from being able to regularly produce the show. As we both care about the quality of the work we put out, we decided that if we couldn't produce something we were proud of then it was time to end the pod. Thank you to all of the tens of thousands of listeners who had let us into your ears and minds, and for sharing our nerdy sense of humour. Thanks to our collaborators and interview guests. It has been an amazing journey to go on with all of you.We will keep our episodes and website up indefinitely. If you want to contact us, we will keep monitoring our email twoshrinkspod@gmail.com and our twitter @twoshrinkspod until the end of May 2023. Irvin Yalom said “life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death”.Listeners, thanks for making our spark burn that just that bit brighter. We hope yours burned brighter too for having listened to us.Amy and Hunter.

For our kickoff episode of our 3rd season, we're honored to present this touching, illuminating, and entertaining dialogue with 40-year veteran therapist Bob Edelstein, LMFT, in which he guides us through life's big questions (AKA existential themes) through an Existential-Humanistic lens. Bob shares his amazing story of coming of age as a human and therapist in the 1960s during the modern-to-postmodern shift. Highlights include his life-changing reading of Carl Rogers' Freedom to Learn as a teacher-in-training, being ripped apart by primal therapy, becoming a therapist through “the paraprofessional route”, working in the Haight, making space around the need to achieve, training with Jim Bugental and LSD researcher Stan Grof, and being ok with the idea of dying. Bob is such an authentic human being in every interaction, and you'll feel that come through as he teaches us about E-H through his own transforming views. If you're a fan of Carl Rogers, Maslow, Jim Bugental, Viktor Frankl, Kirk Schneider, Rollo May, and/or Irvin Yalom, this is the episode for you.Bob Edelstein, LMFT has been a therapist and consultant since 1973, practicing in Oregon since 1984. He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the states of Oregon and California, a certified Clinical Supervisor through Lutheran Family Services, a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, a professional member and former Board member of The Association for Humanistic Psychology, and a founding member of both the Association for Humanistic Psychology – Oregon Community and the Existential-Humanistic Northwest professional organization.Resources:-Bob's web site: www.BobEdelstein.com-Bob is also the executive director for the Association for Humanistic Psychology. Their website is ahpweb.org-The website for EHI (existential humanistic institute) is ehinstitute.org-The website for EHNW (existential humanistic northwest professional organization) is ehnwpdx.org-Books mentioned include Carl Rogers' Freedom to Learn, Jim Bugental's The Search for Existential Identity and The Art of the Psychotherapist, and more Welcome to The Psychologists Podcast, where we talk about all things psychology through a very personal lens. Gill Strait PhD and Julia Strait PhD are both Licensed Psychologists (TX) and Licensed Specialists in School Psychology (LSSPs, TX). They are alumni of The University of South Carolina School Psychology Doctoral Program (Go Gamecocks). Gill is a teacher, researcher, and supervisor at a university graduate psychology training program. Julia is owner and therapist at Ocean Therapy in Houston, TX, offering telehealth therapy to young adults in their 20s and 30s who are struggling with anxiety. Check it out here: https://www.oceantherapy.net/

Jade Adgate and I both love to read and we love to read books that expose us to new angles of death, dying, loss and grief. Sounds miserable, eh? But it's honestly not. Through reading, we clarify our own thinking and values around these hugely human issues. Whatever you are reading, you can watch for these themes, and you can make it a point to read on hard topics long before you or a loved one needs the information. In this episode, we talk about 20 books that will increase your death literacy! ✨Being Mortal, Atul Gawande ✨When Breath Becomes Air, Paul Kalanithi ✨Giovanni's Room, James Baldwin ✨In Love, Amy Bloom (BLBD Podcast #43) ✨When My Time Comes, Diane Rehm ✨Last Day, Dava Shastri ✨Crying in H Mart, Michelle Zauner  ✨A Matter of Death and Life, Irvin Yalom and Marilyn Yalom ✨The Book of Two Ways, Jodi Picoult ✨The Spanish Love Deception, Elena Armas ✨On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous and Time is a Mother, Ocean Vuong ✨A Thousand Mornings, Mary Oliver ✨Late Migrations: A Natural History of Loss, Margaret Renkl ✨The Cancer Journals, Audre Lorde ✨Clear Cut: One Woman's Journey of Life in the Body, Ginny Jordan ✨Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe, Laura Lynn Jackson ✨For Small Creatures Such as We: Rituals for Finding Meaning in Our Unlikely World, Sasha Sagan ✨Death is But A Dream, Dr Christopher Kerr (BLBD Podcast #30 and #31) ✨With the End in Mind + Listen: The Art of Tender Conversations, Dr Kathryn Mannix Subscribe to the podcast for bonus content for only $7.99 a month! https://anchor.fm/diane-hullet/subscribe For more information on Best Life Best Death please visit our website at www.bestlifebestdeath.com Follow us on our social channels to receive pertinent and helpful resources on death, grieving, and more at: Facebook: www.facebook.com/bestlifebestdeath Instagram: www.instagram.com/bestlifebestdeath

For many of us, life is a process of minimizing uncertainty. We spend our days trying to eliminate uncertainty from our lives. Find the right career path, the right partner, buy a house, or at least find a sense of long-term settledness. Raise a family and put our kids on track to get into the right college, so they can start the process over again finding the right career, the right partner, and so on. The implicit idea in this is that there's a point in life where we reach quiescence, where all the big problems are figured out. But here's the thing. Life doesn't work like that.Life is not a problem to solve. It cannot be terminally fixed. Something can always go wrong. There's always the next thing. And so if you're living your life, even tacitly, under the assumption that it's possible to reach this point, you are operating according to the wrong model of the world.These are themes that I've long been grappling with in my own life, and they're resonant in the work of my guest today, the author and philosopher John Kaag. Kaag is a professor of philosophy at U Mass Lowell, but he has that rare quality of someone who makes his living as academic philosopher: he lives his life as a classical philosopher. To him, ideas aren't just for arguing about it. If you're getting them right, they should tell you something—hopefully something important—about living.He's a student of the work of William James, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Henry David Thoreau. His books include American Philosophy: a love story, Hiking with Nietzsche, and Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James can save your life. A theme that runs through the work of these thinkers, and by extension John's own, is how uncertainty is crucial to meaning-making. In a way, once something has become certain in our own life, it gets taken for granted. I think if we're being honest with ourselves, we can readily identify this effect: whether in a complacent relationship, or in the pursuit of material comfort, or whatever it may be. Once it's all shored up, it no longer seems something so worth striving after that you can build your life around it. It's sort of like artificial intelligence. Whatever milestone AI successfully achieves, Gary Marcus will tell you that, well, that's not what AI really is.I think there's important in the idea that uncertainty is something to embrace, not just because it's a fundamental and inescapable part of life. But because it can also itself be a source of great meaning. If that's something you're interested in being more closely in tune with, I think you'll get a lot out of this conversation.At the end of each episode, I ask my guest about three books that have most influenced their thinking. Here are John's picks:* Waldenby Henry David Thoreau (1854)One American Transcendentalist's attempt to wring meaning from everyday life.* Thus Spoke Zarathustraby Friedrich Nietzsche (1883)Nietzsche's keystone… novel? meditation? confession? about an individual who is struggling to become who he is.* Man's Search for Meaningby Viktor Frankl (1946)The most recommended book on this show. The classics are classic for a reason.* Existential Psychotherapy (Honorable mention)by Irvin Yalom (1980)The 700 page version of Man's Search for Meaning. (Never heard of it myself, but it looks really good!)Books by John:* 2020: Sick Souls, Healthy Minds: How William James Can Save Your Life* 2018: Hiking with Nietzsche: On Becoming Who You Are* 2016: American Philosophy: A Love Story(I hope you find something good for your next read. If you happen to find it through the above links, I get a referral fee. Thanks!) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit codykommers.substack.com/subscribe

This episode was recorded in 2021. Sarah Sarkis's introduction in her own words: I received my MA from Boston College where I studied Counseling Psychology. I then began my doctoral training at George Washington University with an emphasis on Adult Psychotherapy from a psychoanalytic perspective. Upon completion of my doctoral studies, I completed my internship and post-doctoral fellowship training at two inpatient psychiatric hospitals in the Boston area. There, I worked with people who were suffering from the most severe and retractable forms of mental illness. Those experiences taught me the deep and enduring value of comprehensive and collaborative care from a multi-disciplinary perspective. I carry those lessons with me to my current work in my private practice, where I emphasize and utilize my partnerships with physicians, naturopaths, and functional medicine doctors and nutritionists to provide the best standard of care. In addition to my psychology training, I've studied extensively the use of mindfulness, functional medicine, hormones, and how food, medicine, and mood are interconnected. My influences include Dr.'s Hyman, Benson, Kabat-Zinn, Maté, Gervais, and Gordon, as well as Tara Brach, Brené Brown, Irvin Yalom, Howard Stern, Steven Kotler, and Bruce Springsteen, to name only a few.

One of Craig's heroes is Dr.  Irvin Yalom, a psychiatrist and writer— Yalom's books inspired him in the early years of learning to become a psychiatrist. Today's story concept was sparked by Yalom's book “Every day gets a little closer—A twice told therapy.” To create this book,  Yalom asked one of his long-term patients to keep a weekly diary of their therapy sessions, and he did the same. He wove their two very different but fascinating perspectives together to write the book. Craig just loved this idea and thought it would be really cool to do the BFTA version of this. In this story, Dr. Erin Jacklin, a psychologist in Denver, and her 15 year client Sherlock tell their shared story…..with Erin first meeting Sherlock at the very beginning of her doctoral training, and Sherlock coming to Erin at a pivotal point in his life.  To create this episode, Craig asked Erin and Sherlock to not discuss their treatment history or what they might say during the recording, then he recorded Erin and Sherlock separately, asking them each the same questions, and then the magic unfolded.Dr. Erin Jacklinhttps://catalystcenterllc.com/our-team/erin-jacklin/Please take the BFTA listeners poll--we really want your input!https://bit.ly/3eQ8DdyBFTA on Instagram. @backfromtheabysspodcasthttps://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/BFTA/ Dr. Hhttps://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/