Podcasts about adhders

Grab the free cheat sheet for this episode here: navigatingadultadhd.com/cheatsheetLet's talk about ADHD & masking - what it is, why we do it, and whether it's actually a bad thing.In this episode, I'm breaking down: The difference between masking and managing your ADHD, How to know when masking is helping vs harmingWhy so many of us were taught to hide who we are from a young age.We're also talking about unmasking: What that looks likeHow to start doing it safelyAnd the healing power of seeing other ADHDers show up as their full sparkly selvesFor more support visit navigatingadultadhd.com

In this episode, I. interview Farah Jamil, an Ivy League-educated health executive, consultant, and ADHD coach. Farah discusses her journey with a late ADHD diagnosis, her work as a community builder for Muslim ADHDers, and provides tactical advice for neurodivergent individuals on how to survive in today's challenging job market. Highlights: The FAN Framework: A strategy for being proactive in your career by Focusing on the facts, Asking instead of assuming, and remembering that No one is a mind reader. Working from the Inside Out: The crucial path from self-awareness to self-empowerment and finally to self-advocacy in the workplace. Combating Burnout: Recognizing the "three Ps" (Procrastination, Perfectionism, Paralysis) and the importance of setting healthy boundaries to prevent physical, mental, and emotional burnout. Leveraging Neurodivergent Strengths: How teams with neurodivergent members can foster more innovation and better problem-solving abilities. Mentioned in this episode: EY (Ernst & Young): Check out their Centers for Neurodivergent Excellence for career ideas and to see how major companies are supporting neurodiversity. ADHD Online: To save $40 on a comprehensive assessment, visit adhdonline.com/adultingwithadhd and use promo code AdultingADHD40. Follow Farah Jamil: Connect with Farah on LinkedIn or visit her website at farahjamil.com. Please support this show and access the podcast archives by visiting Patreon.com/adultingwithadhd .

Hold onto your britches because Kristin put this Bagel Bite together, so prepare for chaos.    This episode we're getting into the practicalities of Medusa's hair snakes, sharing dish-based Lil' ‘Plishes, debating whether scrubs are the perfect solution for ADHDers in the Wet Little Fronts club, and sharing fun listener conspiracy theories that don't question the validity of science.    Resources Visit our website: weirdsofafeather.com  Follow us on Youtube: youtube.com/@weirdsofafeather Join our Reddit community: reddit.com/r/WeirdsofaFeather/ Find us on Instagram: @weirdsofafeather  Become a Patreon member: patreon.com/weirdsofafeather  To keep this horse train running (but this isn't a threat): ko-fi.com/weirdsofafeather

1st Annual Global Neurodivergent Leaders Summit 2025   This event spotlighted the brilliance of leaders who were once labeled as “disabled” simply because they think differently.   These trailblazers—CEOs, Global speakers, Executive coaches, and Industry Titans from Banking, Real Estate, and the Global Sales and Marketing —have leveraged their ADHD, dyslexia, OCD, and other forms of neurodivergence as superpowers that set them apart. Let's celebrate and elevate those who are changing the world—not in spite of how they think, but because of it.   Raymond Kemp Title: Navigating with a Different Compass (Leading with ADHD in a Neurotypical World) Summary: Leadership isn't reserved for those who think in straight lines. It's about clarity, self-command, and the courage to lead from exactly where you are. I want every leader in the room—whether neurodivergent or not—to walk away knowing that different doesn't mean deficient. When you understand your wiring and Own the Helm, your unique perspective becomes a competitive advantage, not a compromise.   Kathy Marcino Title: Coaching Through Conflict: Learn Strategies for Identifying Conflict Types, Successfully Navigating Workplace Conflict, and Turning It into Positive Growth. Summary: “Disagreement holds the potential for deeper understanding.” When conflict is managed effectively, it can drive innovation and enhance team performance. In this session, Kathy Marcino walks leaders through a structured path for transforming disagreements into shared goals and solutions. Drawing from her extensive coaching experience, she equips participants with a framework to recognize early warning signs, stay grounded in difficult conversations, and co-create lasting resolutions that strengthen team dynamics and performance.   Dan Dominguez Title: Embrace Your Neurodivergent Edge: How Self-Awareness Fuels Resilient Leadership Summary: When I first entered the military, I thought I had to be just like everyone else—follow the rules, fit in, and never let my differences show. But in the heat of tough missions, something clicked: the way my mind worked—my neurodivergent wiring—wasn't a liability. It was my edge. Later, in the world of sales, I saw the same truth again: those traits I once hid—my intense focus, my out-of-the-box thinking, my deep desire to help others—were exactly what helped me forge real connections and close deals. It took self-awareness to stop fighting those parts of myself and start using them as strengths. In this talk, I share that journey, along with a simple framework—Recognize, Accept, Celebrate—to help others stop hiding and start embracing their own neurodivergent edge. My story is a reminder: your greatest leadership potential lies not in fitting in, but in owning and celebrating who you really are. Paul McCarthy Title: Drowning out the voices we need to hear. Why F.I.R.E.D. leaders are your 'hidden gems' Summary: Two Options:Talk Summary 1 To survive disruption, organizations need leaders who possess disruptive leadership capabilities. So they hire them and then they fire them. Publicly, organizations say they want leaders to be innovative thinkers who challenge the status quo. Privately, conventional leadership culture wants nothing of the sort. Leaders with disruptive leadership capabilities often embody the very leadership qualities that organizations so desperately need to navigate disruption and adapt to the “new normal” of constant change, yet these leaders are being marginalized, ostracized, and even exorcised from today's organizations. We will need a different kind of leader for the future and our organizations are unprepared for how to identify, recruit, onboard, and develop this kind of leader. Join us for a radical, refreshing talk with Paul McCarthy, as openly talks about the untalkable, questions the unquestionable, and reframes perceptions about the leadership we desperately need for our times. Paul will share insights from his own experiences as a leader with disruptive leadership capabilities, as well as from his global research and first best-selling book into how individual leaders can be identified, cultivated, and embraced for being disruptive. He will also help us to understand how we can identify disruptive leadership capacity and capability. Talk Summary 2 Paul takes audiences on an exploratory journey to imagine a future where leaders who are currently perceived as 'not fitting in' or as 'bad culture fits' are the ones that organizations will increasingly need to thrive in a constantly changing environment. Yet these leaders are being marginalized, ostracized, and even exorcised from today's organizations. Using his own personal experiences, as well as research, case studies and outputs of interviews, Paul introduces the F.I.R.E.D. Leadership Framework and shows organizations why we need to embrace leaders who think differently. By helping reframe how organizations perceive their 'agitators', Paul shows how to cut through the noise to equip those organizations with the approach needed to create the next generation of leaders our world so desperately needs to successfully navigate ongoing disruption, continue to innovate and deliver transformative outcomes.   Dr. Regeline “Gigi” Sabbat Title: “You Can Lead” ( Regardless if you are Neurodivergent you can lead. - Dr. Gigi Sabbat)   Summary: Absolutely — being neurodivergent does not limit your ability to lead. In fact, many neurodivergent individuals bring exceptional strengths to leadership, such as: • Unique perspectives and creativity • High levels of focus and dedication • Empathy and emotional intelligence • Innovative problem-solving • Resilience and adaptability Leadership isn't about fitting a mold — it's about authenticity, vision, and the courage to empower others. Whether you're neurodivergent or not, your lived experiences can shape you into a powerful, impactful leader. Manny Piñiero Title: “Wired Differently - Neurodivergent Leadership and the Power of Intentional Time" Summary: Wired differently, I thrive in navigating complexity, identifying patterns others may overlook, and creating meaningful systems that honor both people and outcomes. My connection to time is not just about efficiency, it's about intentionality. I believe in making time count by aligning actions with purpose, fostering environments that empower teams to do the work that truly matters, while leading with clarity, empathy, and a deep respect for the diverse ways people think, work, and thrive.   Holly White Title: Radical is Relative: Trusting Your Instincts Before the World Catches Up Summary: Some of the most powerful insights come from minds that don't follow conventional paths. In this talk, I explore how ADHD-related cognition—nonlinear, spontaneous, and deeply intuitive—often leads to ideas that feel radical to others but entirely natural to the thinker. We'll examine why these ideas meet resistance, how traits like discomfort with uncertainty affect their reception, and what it means to trust your instincts in a world that hasn't caught up yet. Whether you're the one generating paradigm-shifting ideas or the one receiving them, “trust the process” becomes more than a mantra—it's a model for creative courage, leadership, and cognitive integrity.   Rosie Ward Title: Ditch the Head Trash! Upgrade Your Faulty Programming So You Can Maximize Your Impact Summary: Being human is messy. We are hardwired to be on high alert for threats, activating our biological hardwired instincts to self-protect and cling tightly to what is familiar. Yet our world demands that we are able to lean into discomfort and disruption. This creates a gap that keeps us stuck more than we realize. This session will normalize our shared human experience for why we get in our own way as a result of our 7 Faulty Programs and give you tangible tools to upgrade your own faulty programming so you can embrace your own sparkle and maximize your shine and impact around you.   David Citron Title: Unleash Your ADHD Superpower in 4 Minutes a Day Summary: In this talk, David Citron, founder of Expressocoaching.com which serves ADHDers who lead organisations in 31 countries worldwide shares the 3 keys to unleashing your ADHD Superpower as a neurodivergent leader. This powerful methodology which has a 4.8* Trustpilot rating from thrilled leaders around the world can change the next 30 years of your life. Expresso has been used by everyone from small business owners to large corporations like Microsoft in order to bring out the very best from the talented neurodivergents in their senior leadership team. Kick back and listen to the story of how the Expresso ADHD revolution began with one client called Joe who had a peculiarly, frustrating challenge. Kent Cravens Title: Expect Authenticity?......Be Authentic Yourself. Tips on building a culture based on Authenticity And Trust   Summary Many of us spend more waking hours with our work teams than we get to spend with our families. Authenticity And Trust are essential elements to creating a work environment that leads to sustained satisfaction and longevity in your team. Here are some tips to make sure you're moving in the right direction.  

In this episode of Coaching In Session, host Michael Rearden sits down with Nella Dwyer, an ADHD executive coach and internationally recognized singer-songwriter. Nella shares her expertise on neurodiversity, ADHD strengths, and how to navigate life and business through an ADHD lens.Together, they discuss the stigma surrounding ADHD, how individuals can identify and harness their strengths, and why ADHD can be a superpower in entrepreneurship, creativity, and leadership. Nella also dives into essential ADHD management tools—including verbal processing, boundaries, sleep, and exercise—that can help neurodivergent individuals thrive personally and professionally.If you or someone you know has ADHD, or if you're simply interested in understanding different ways of thinking and succeeding, this episode is packed with valuable insights!Key Takeaways:✅ ADHD is not a flaw—it's a different way of operating.✅ Understanding ADHD helps individuals leverage their strengths.✅ People with ADHD can be highly creative and entrepreneurial.✅ ADHD is often misunderstood and carries a stigma.✅ Verbal processing helps ADHDers organize and express thoughts.✅ Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships.✅ Sleep hygiene and exercise significantly impact ADHD management.✅ Empathy and sensitivity can be strengths in those with ADHD.✅ Involving ADHDers in rule-making increases their commitment.✅ Creating personal systems helps ADHDers navigate life effectively.Guest Links:

In this week's 'Wisdom' episode, we explore Chapter 5 (Live in Sync With your Hormones) of my upcoming new book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit, focusing on the often-overlooked hormonal factors (particularly progesterone) that can influence ADHD symptoms, especially during our menstrual cycles, perimenopause and menopause.In this conversation, we revisit Kate's chats with Dr. Emma Ping, a menopause specialist, and Adele Wimsett, a women's health practitioner and author. Together, they unpack how hormones like progesterone, oestrogen, and testosterone interact with the ADHD brain, and why understanding this link is crucial for women's wellbeing.

Authentically ADHD – ADHD, Alexithymia, and Anhedonia: Understanding Emotions and MotivationHello and welcome to Authentically ADHD! I'm Carmen, your host. Today, we're diving into a topic that might hit very close to home for a lot of us: the confusing intersection of ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia. Now, those are some big, clinical-sounding words – but don't worry. We're going to break them down in plain language and talk about how they can overlap in real life. If you've ever thought, “Why can't I figure out what I'm feeling?” or “Why don't I enjoy things the way I used to?”, or if you find yourself emotionally drained after a long day of masking your ADHD traits, then this episode is for you.In this 25–30 minute journey, we'll mix a bit of neuroscience (in a friendly, non-intimidating way) with personal storytelling. I'll share some of my own experiences, and we'll explore what research says about why these experiences happen. By the end, you'll have a clearer understanding of what ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia really mean, why they often go hand-in-hand (especially in neurodivergent folks like us), and what we can do to cope and thrive. We'll also bust some common myths and misunderstandings – including why these issues often get overlooked or dismissed, especially in women and people diagnosed later in life. And as always, we'll wrap up with strategies and a big dose of validation and hope. So, get comfy (or start that task you've been putting off and take us along!), and let's get started.Understanding ADHD, Alexithymia, and AnhedoniaBefore we delve into how these things intersect, let's clearly define each of these terms. They each describe a different piece of the puzzle of our emotional and mental life. Understanding what they are will help us see how they connect. In a nutshell:ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder): ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention (difficulty focusing, forgetfulness), hyperactivity (restlessness, fidgeting), and impulsivity (acting without thinking) that interfere with daily functioningneurolaunch.com. In adults, ADHD can look like struggling to stay organized, constantly losing your keys, jumping from one idea to another, or even feeling emotionally impulsive. It's not just “kids being hyper” – it's a lifelong brain-based condition affecting how we concentrate, manage time, and regulate behavior and emotions.Alexithymia: Alexithymia is not a disorder but a personality trait or profile, often described as having difficulty identifying and describing your emotionsneurodivergentinsights.com. The word literally means “without words for emotion.” If you have alexithymia, you might feel strong emotions physically (like a racing heart or a knot in your stomach) but struggle to pinpoint what the emotion is (is it anxiety? anger? hunger?) and find words to express it. Alexithymia exists on a spectrum – some people have mild trouble with emotions, others have it to a more severe degreeneurodivergentinsights.com. It frequently co-occurs with neurodivergent conditions; in fact, research suggests that a significant subset of people with ADHD (estimates range from about 20% to over 40%) also have alexithymianeurodivergentinsights.combhcsmt.com. So, if you have ADHD and you've always felt “out of touch” with your emotions, alexithymia might be a concept that resonates with you.Anhedonia: Anhedonia means an inability or reduced ability to experience pleasure. It's like the volume knob for enjoyment is turned way down. People with anhedonia struggle to feel joy or interest in activities that used to be fun or rewardingneurolaunch.com. This term is often discussed in the context of depression (since losing pleasure is a core symptom of depressive episodes), but it's not exclusive to depression. As we'll explore, anhedonia can also show up in ADHD. If you find that hobbies, socializing, or accomplishments don't light you up the way they do for others (or the way they once did for you), anhedonia could be at play. It can feel like emotional flatness or being chronically “uninspired” – you want to want things, but the feeling isn't there.Each of these three – ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia – is distinct. ADHD is an officially recognized neurodevelopmental condition affecting attention and self-regulation. Alexithymia is a descriptive trait about emotional awareness. Anhedonia is a symptom state of not experiencing pleasure. Yet, despite their differences, these experiences often overlap and tangle together, especially for neurodivergent individuals. When someone has ADHD, they're more likely to also experience traits of alexithymianeurodivergentinsights.com, and they may be more prone to anhedonia or “low hedonic tone” (low baseline ability to feel reward) than the general populationen.wikipedia.org. Why is that? Let's dig into the brain science to find out.The Neuroscience Behind the OverlapSo, why do ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia so often form a trio? To answer that, we need to talk about how our brains process emotions and rewards. Don't worry – we'll keep it conversational. Imagine your brain as an orchestra: different sections handle different parts of the music. When everything's in tune, you get a harmonious experience of life – you feel emotions, you find joy in activities, you focus when you need to. With ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia, some sections of the orchestra are either playing off-key or playing too quietly to hear.One key player here is dopamine, a neurotransmitter often nicknamed the “reward chemical.” Dopamine is heavily involved in motivation, pleasure, and attention – basically the brain's way of saying “Hey, this is important/fun, focus on this!” In ADHD brains, dopamine signaling doesn't work typically; it can be underactive or dysregulatedneurolaunch.comneurolaunch.com. Think of it like a weak Wi-Fi signal in the reward circuits of the brain – messages about reward and pleasure just aren't getting through fast or strong enough. Because of this, everyday tasks might not feel as rewarding to someone with ADHD as they do to someone without ADHD. Science actually shows that ADHD-related dopamine impairments can dysregulate the brain's reward processing and lead to anhedonia (difficulty feeling pleasure) in some individualsen.wikipedia.org. In other words, the same brain chemistry quirk that makes it hard to concentrate can also turn down the volume on enjoyment and motivation.Now, what about alexithymia? While dopamine is more about the reward system, alexithymia has a lot to do with our brain's emotional awareness and interoception (a fancy word for sensing the internal state of your body). Some researchers believe alexithymia is essentially a problem with how the brain's insula and related regions process internal signalsbhcsmt.com. The insula is like the brain's monitor for bodily and emotional sensations – it helps you notice a fast heartbeat and connect it to “I feel anxious,” for example. In alexithymia, that monitoring system might be glitchy. Emotions are still happening under the hood (we still produce the bodily reactions and basic emotional responses), but the translation of those signals into conscious awareness and labels doesn't work well. It's as if the brain doesn't label the emotions correctly or at all. This is why someone with alexithymia can seem calm or unaffected externally while internally their heart is pounding – they truly might not recognize what they're feeling, or they might just register a vague discomfort without an emotional label. Interestingly, alexithymia has been called a “disconnect between the emotional and thinking parts of the brain.” The emotional signals are there, but the cortex (thinking brain) can't interpret them properly.So, how do these tie together? ADHD and alexithymia share some overlapping brain differences. For one, both are linked to difficulties in emotional regulation. ADHD isn't just about attention – many experts now recognize that emotional impulsivity and difficulty regulating feelings are core aspects of ADHD for many peopleneurodivergentinsights.com. If you have ADHD, you might feel things more intensely but also more fleetingly, and you can struggle to manage those feelings (for example, quick frustration, or being easily hurt by criticism, then rapidly switching to another mood). Now add alexithymia into the mix: you have big emotions (possibly ADHD-related) but poor insight into them. That's a challenging combo! In fact, having alexithymia can make it even harder for ADHDers to understand and regulate their emotional ups and downsneurodivergentinsights.comneurodivergentinsights.com. It's like trying to drive a car with a super sensitive gas pedal (ADHD emotions) but a foggy windshield (alexithymia blocking your view of what's happening inside you).Neuroscience also hints at other overlaps. Both ADHD and alexithymia have been associated with atypical functioning in the prefrontal cortex (the brain's executive control center) and in connections between the cortex and deeper emotional brain regions. ADHD's executive function challenges mean the brain can struggle to pause and reflect – which might also affect the ability to reflect on and name emotions. If you're constantly chasing the next stimulus or fighting to focus, you might not have the bandwidth to analyze “What am I feeling right now?” Similarly, alexithymia may involve less activation or connectivity in areas that integrate bodily states into emotional awareness (like the anterior insula, for those who love brain specifics). There's even some evidence pointing to dopamine's role in emotional awareness: conditions with dopamine dysfunction (like Parkinson's disease and yes, ADHD) show high rates of alexithymiabhcsmt.com. Fascinatingly, one study found that when ADHD patients with alexithymia were treated with stimulant medication (which boosts dopamine), their alexithymia scores improved and they became more emotionally aware over six monthsbhcsmt.combhcsmt.com. That's a neat clue that brain chemistry ties these experiences together. Dopamine doesn't just help you focus; it also might help you feel.In summary, the brain's reward and emotion systems are interconnected. ADHD's neurochemistry (like low dopamine) can set the stage for anhedonia – the brain isn't signaling “reward!” as it should, so you might not feel the pleasure or motivation that others do from the same eventneurolaunch.comen.wikipedia.org. Meanwhile, ADHD's cognitive and emotional dysregulation can set the stage for alexithymia – life is fast, attention is scattered, emotions swing, and the self-reflection wires get crossed, leaving you unsure of what you feel. And of course, alexithymia itself can contribute to anhedonia: if you struggle to recognize feelings, you might also have trouble recognizing pleasure or excitement. In fact, one hallmark of alexithymia is an externally oriented thinking style and little attention to inner feelings, which has been linked to a reduced ability to experience positive emotionsneurodivergentinsights.com. That sounds an awful lot like blunted pleasure. So these three concepts feed into each other in a cycle. Next, let's talk about what that cycle feels like in everyday life.When These Worlds Collide: Emotional Regulation, Motivation, and Daily LifeLiving with any one of these — ADHD, alexithymia, or anhedonia — can be challenging. But when they overlap, it can feel like a perfect storm. Let's paint a picture of how that overlap can complicate emotional regulation, motivation, and just day-to-day functioning:1. Emotional Regulation Woes: With ADHD, emotions can be intense and quick to change, but also quick to be forgotten. Add alexithymia, and you might not even know what you're feeling until it boils over. Many of us with ADHD have been told we're “too sensitive” or “overreacting,” when in reality we felt an emotion suddenly and strongly, and it was hard to modulate it. Now imagine not having a good handle on what that emotion was – that's the alexithymia piece. You might go from zero to sixty (calm to furious or panicked) without recognizing, “I'm getting upset” until you're at the breaking point. Afterwards, you might struggle to explain to someone (or to yourself) why you reacted that way, because you lack words for those internal states. This overlap often leads to feeling out of control or ashamed of one's emotions. It can also lead to something I call emotional whiplash: you're overwhelmed by feelings in one moment, and utterly numb the next. That numbness can be a form of anhedonia or emotional shutdown – a brain response where, after so much intense feeling and confusion, you kind of just go blank. Over time, experiencing this rollercoaster can make you anxious about your own emotional reactions (“What if I explode or break down and I don't even know why?”).2. Motivation and Reward: A common ADHD experience is struggling to start or finish tasks that aren't inherently interesting – our brains crave stimulation (the “interest-based nervous system,” as it's sometimes called). Now tack on anhedonia. If you don't feel much pleasure or reward even when you complete something or do something fun, it's doubly hard to motivate yourself. It becomes a vicious cycleneurolaunch.comneurolaunch.com: ADHD makes it hard to stick with activities (so you might impulsively seek something new or get distracted), and anhedonia makes it unrewarding to do so (so even if you stick to it, you feel like “meh, that was pointless”). Picture trying to play a video game where every time you accomplish a mission, the game doesn't give you any points or fanfare – you'd probably lose interest quickly! That's what the ADHD-anhedonia combo can feel like in real life. Even hobbies you know you used to love might not give you the dopamine hit they once did, which is deeply frustrating. You might cycle through activities or careers or relationships, always searching for that spark of joy or interest, but finding that your brain's reward system isn't lighting up as expected. People around you might label you as flaky or lazy, when in truth your brain is under-stimulated and under-rewarded, making sustained effort feel like running a marathon with ankle weights on.3. Daily Functioning and Executive Function: Executive functions (things like planning, organizing, time management) are already a challenge in ADHD. Combine that with these emotional and motivational difficulties, and daily life can get chaotic. For instance, say you have an important project to do. ADHD might have you procrastinating until the last minute because, well, focus is hard until urgency kicks in. Anhedonia means even the reward of “I'll feel proud when this is done” or “I'll enjoy doing this piece I usually like” doesn't register strongly, so there's not much internal pull to start the task. Meanwhile, alexithymia means you might not realize how anxious it's making you to leave it so late – you just feel a vague tension or you get irritable without connecting it to stress. All of this might result in a last-minute panic, tears of frustration you didn't see coming, or even a shutdown where you just can't do it at all. Daily tasks like household chores or self-care can similarly fall apart. You know on some level that you'll feel better if you shower or clean the kitchen, but you don't feel that reward normally (anhedonia), and you don't really register how crummy it feels to be unwashed or in a mess until it's extreme (alexithymia's lack of internal cues), and ADHD has you distracted by a million other more interesting things in the moment. It's easy to see how this trio can impact routines, health, work performance – basically any aspect of daily living.4. Social and Relationship Impact: Emotions and enjoyment are huge parts of how we connect with others. When you have alexithymia, people might perceive you as distant, cold, or uninterested because you don't express emotions in a typical way or struggle to empathize verbally. You might care deeply, but you don't show it with “I'm so happy for you” or “I'm upset about this” because you can't quite identify those feelings in the first place. With ADHD, you might interrupt or space out in conversations, or you feel emotions so strongly that you come on too intense, which can be hard for others to navigate. Now, add anhedonia – maybe you stop wanting to go out with friends or initiate activities because you just don't find joy in them, so people think you're avoiding them or being negative. Misunderstandings abound. A friend might think you don't care about their troubles because you didn't show much emotion when they were sad (when in fact you did care but couldn't express it). A partner might feel hurt that you never seem excited about doing things together anymore, or that you're disengaged. Daily life with others becomes a minefield of potential misinterpretations, where your internal state and your outward actions don't line up in the “expected” way.Everything we just described can seriously affect one's self-esteem and mental health, too. It's common for people in this overlap to start thinking, “What's wrong with me?” or to assume they're just bad at life or broken. Let me assure you right now: you are not broken, and you're not alone in this. There are explanations for why you feel the way you do, and with understanding comes the ability to find new strategies. But before we get to coping strategies, it's important to address some of those misunderstandings from the outside world in a bit more detail – especially how they play out for women and late-diagnosed adults.Misunderstandings and Missed DiagnosesWhen you're dealing with ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia, other people in your life (and even some professionals) might not “get it.” These conditions – particularly alexithymia and anhedonia – are often invisible. To someone on the outside, your behaviors might be misread in a bunch of uncharitable ways. Let's clear the air on some common misunderstandings:“You're just being lazy/unmotivated.” How many of us with ADHD have heard that one?

Mix up a mocktail and settle in for another addition to our ADHD & addiction series.   This episode, we're on a mission to bring back fun, lighthearted conspiracy theories before diving into the Meat, where Kristin is teaching us about Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD).    She's covering the diagnostic criteria for AUD, how alcohol affects the brain and body, why ADHDers are especially drawn to it, and some judgment-free suggestions for reducing your use.  Resources: Alcohol Use Disorder: Screening, Evaluation, and Management - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf Alcohol use disorders and ADHD - ScienceDirect Increased Sensitivity to the Disinhibiting Effects of Alcohol in Adults with ADHD - PMC ADHD and Alcohol Use: What's the Link? | Psych Central ADHD & Alcohol: Exploring the Connection and Overcoming Challenges The Clinically Meaningful Link Between Alcohol Use and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - PMC Alcohol Use Disorder: A Comparison Between DSM–IV and DSM–5 | National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) Effects of Alcohol on the Brain, Animation, Professional version. Alcohol and Neurotransmitter Interactions - PMC Associations between childhood ADHD, gender, and adolescent alcohol and marijuana involvement: A causally informative design. - Abstract - Europe PMC Faye Lawrence - ADHD, Grey Area Drinker & Behaviour Change Coach Atomoxetine treatment of adults with ADHD and comorbid alcohol use disorders - ScienceDirect Common Nightingale - YouTube

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways.Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.Related resourcesFrom the ADHD Aha! Podcast, Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley's story)Grief-Fueled ADHD: Strategies to Manage A Complex Combination by Rachel HopkinsThe Invisible String by Patrice KarstThe Grand Hotel of Feelings by Lidia BrankovícTimestamps(00:48) A word from Cate on ADHD and grief(03:05) Nonlinear ADHD grief(06:11) Executive function challenges and grief(09:34) Emotional regulation and planning immediately following a loss(11:03) Time perception challenges and processing grief(15:34) Rejection sensitivity and worrying about others' judgement of our grieving(20:19) Balancing distraction and avoidance(26:24) The importance of acknowledging that your ADHD will affect your grief, and celebrating your wins(27:29) ADHD and delayed grief reactions(29:30) Advice for neurotypical people supporting an ADHDer through grief(30:44) Rachel's last thoughts and advice for any ADHDer going through grief right nowFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

This week, Sam and Katie are joined by GP, nutritionist and AuDHDer Dr Helen Lawal to unpack why food and ADHD can be such a complicated mix. From forgotten meals to bingeing on sugar, they explore the very real struggles many ADHDers face around eating- and why it's not about willpower.Dr Helen shares what's going on in the ADHD brain when it comes to hunger signals, planning meals and managing cravings. She explains how executive function, perfectionism and shame all play a role, and why letting go of unrealistic food ideals can be a game changer.Together, they discuss the power of small, sustainable shifts- like frozen food, repeat meals and cutting the shame- and why it's okay to take shortcuts if it means your brain is getting what it needs.Whether you're dealing with overwhelm in the kitchen or trying to find a better balance, this is a compassionate and practical look at how to support your body and mind without burning out.Find out more about Dr Helen Lawal's free masterclass here New episodes of You're Wrong About ADHD are available every Wednesday and Friday. Got a question or story for the team? Send it to ADHDpodcast@global.comYou're Wrong About ADHD is made in association with APX Content Ventures.

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways.Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.Related resourcesFrom the ADHD Aha! podcast, Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley's story)Grief-Fueled ADHD: Strategies to Manage A Complex Combination by Rachel HopkinsThe Invisible String by Patrice KarstThe Grand Hotel of Feelings by Lidia BrankovícTimestamps(00:48) A word from Cate on ADHD and grief(03:05) Nonlinear ADHD grief(06:11) Executive function challenges and grief(09:34) Emotional regulation and planning immediately following a loss(11:03) Time perception challenges and processing grief(15:34) Rejection sensitivity and worrying about others' judgement of our grieving(20:19) Balancing distraction and avoidance(26:24) The importance of acknowledging that your ADHD will affect your grief, and celebrating your wins(27:29) ADHD and delayed grief reactions(29:30) Advice for neurotypical people supporting an ADHDer through grief(30:44) Rachel's last thoughts and advice for any ADHDer going through grief right nowFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you have ADHD, or wonder if you do, this episode is an important one…we're talking all about how neurodivergence impacts your nutrition and the way you feed yourself with Marilee Pumple RD, dietitian with ADHD herself who has an enormous amount of experience helping others navigate nutrition in both neurodivergence and eating disorders. When I started this podcast, it was super important to me that we talk about, well, all sorts of topics surrounding wellness…and not just the ones you might expect. Which is why today's chat is so important to me: we're gonna talk about how neurodivergence impacts your ability to feed yourself and, most importantly, tools that can help you thrive.More than a few of my friends have ADHD - and interestingly, most received their diagnoses in adulthood, NOT childhood - so I'm grateful to have one of them, Victoria-based registered dietitian Marilee Pumple on the pod to talk about her experience with living with ADHD and her professional expertise in supporting folks with neurodivergence in navigating nutrition. Today's episode is a must listen for neurodivergent folks and the folks who love them: we are going to cover nutrition considerations for both adults and kids, including navigating selective eating for parents! An important note before you listen: we are going to talk about eating disorders, both as part of Marilee's lived experience but also as an important consideration in neurodivergence as the risk of eating disorders is increased. So if that's not right for you, go ahead and skip this episode and we'll see you next time!About Marilee Pumple RD:Marilee Pumple (she/her) is a non-diet registered dietitian, late-identified ADHDer, and co-founder of Little Spuds Nutrition—a neurodivergent-affirming pediatric and family nutrition practice based in Victoria, BC. She specializes in eating disorders and neurodivergent nutrition, offering trauma-informed, size-inclusive care that honours body autonomy, sensory needs, and lived experience. Rooted in Health at Every Size® and Intuitive Eating, Marilee's approach is light-hearted, empathetic, and deeply client-centered—supporting folks to build trust with food and their bodies without shame. She resides in Victoria, where she enjoys her days being a mom to her wild toddler and her love for all things cheese.On this episode we chat about:Marilee's experience arriving at an ADHD diagnosis in her 30sUnderstanding how neurodivergence influences your ability to feed yourselfWhy eating disorders are common in neurodivergenceSimple strategies to automate your meal planningWhy mechanical eating can help you get in touch with your hunger cuesHow to manage decreased appetite due to medicationsWhen the time is right to layer on positive nutritionTips for parents feeding neurodivergent kidsSupport the Pod!We couldn't make this podcast happen without the support of our amazing listeners…I love hearing your feedback on these episodes to be sure to join the conversation on our instagram @theallsortspod @desireenielsenrd @marilee_dietitian @spudsnutritionIf you love this episode, please share it with your friends and family, or take a minute to rate, review or subscribe on your favourite podcast app. We appreciate EVERY. SINGLE. LISTEN!

This week Jacinta and Lachlan talk to artist and academic Drew Pettifer. As an austistic ADHDer, Drew chats about growing up queer and neurodivergent, finding connection through creativity, and why telling overlooked stories—especially queer ones—matters so much (as well as the intersections between queer identity and neurodivergent identity).  It's a fascinating interview and was a pleasure talking with Drew. You're bound to learn something along the way! You can find Drew's website here, as well as his RMIT profile here.   Resources: Dr. Alison Bennett: website, RMIT profile, "Queering the Paradigm" - Talking Pictures Nora Nord: website, "Neuroqueer Artists with ADHD Gain Visibility in a Photo Series" - ADDitude Dr. Nick Walker: website, "Neuroqueer Heresies" "Defiant" by Athena Lynn Michaels Dillon & Michael Scott Monje Jr.

ADHD is one of the most misunderstood conditions out there.Misdiagnosis is common, treatments often miss the mark, and emotional symptoms like rejection sensitivity are rarely even mentioned.Today I'm speaking with Jheri South, a behavioral coach, ADHD expert, and mother of seven neurodivergent kids - who wasn't diagnosed until her 40s. She breaks down why so many people get overlooked or mislabeled, what Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria actually feels like, and how you can take clear, practical steps to better understand your brain and take back control.TOPICS:Why ADHD is so often misdiagnosed or misunderstoodHow Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) impacts emotions and self-worthThe real reasons ADHDers struggle with motivation, focus, and follow-through. MORE FROM NICK:Book a FREE call here to learn about the Move Your Mind Program: https://tinyurl.com/yc3zmu35Find all links here: https://nickbracks.start.page/Sign up to the website: nickbracks.comConnect with Nick on Instagram, Twitter & LinkedInMORE FROM JHERI:Website: https://jherisouth.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's wisdom episode, we explore Chapter 4 (Regulate Your Nervous System) of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit and dive into the essential connection between our nervous system, hormonal health, and trauma-informed healing.We reflect on our conversations with Allegra Foxlie (a trauma and hormone specialist, podcast host, embodiment expert, and author of HTR: The Hormone Tension Release) and Paula Rarick (an advocate for hormonal sensitivity and brain-body integration) to explore how nervous system regulation can be the foundation for sustainable wellbeing.What You'll Learn:Why the nervous system is key to hormonal and emotional regulation, especially for ADHDers.How trauma and early stress dysregulate the nervous and endocrine systems, leading to autoimmune conditions.How nervous system patterns shape hormonal responses, epigenetics, and long-term resilience.Practical tools like breathwork, vagus nerve activation, and habit shifts to support daily regulation.Why cortisol can feel addictive, and why calm may feel unfamiliar or unsafe for some.The value of combining talk therapy and body-based practices for deep healing.How ADHD, autism, BPD, and hormonal sensitivity share common nervous system traits.

Hey there, welcome back to Authentically ADHD! I'm so glad you pressed play on this episode today, because its on a topic that when I learned it, i found out it was the work i never knew i was missing and this skill has given me so much more access to my authentic self. Today, we're diving into a big, messy, important topic: self-trust – or as I like to call it, the tangled web of self-trust. Now, if you just chuckled nervously or sighed "ugh, self-trust...", you're in the right place. Stick around for the next 25 minutes, and we'll untangle this web together with a healthy dose of honesty, humor, and hope.Host (conversational): So, self-trust. Raise your hand if you've ever said something like, "I can't trust myself to do anything right!" (I'm raising mine high, by the way). Maybe you promised yourself you'd start that project well before the deadline, only to find yourself pulling an all-nighter again. Or you swore you'd not forget your friend's birthday this time, and then... whoops, you did – again. If any of this rings a bell, you are so not alone. In fact, one ADHD coach bluntly observed: "This is the truth about ADHD and self-trust: it doesn't exist. ADHD adults don't trust themselves at all. Our self-concept begins to erode pretty early in life". Ouch, right? That sounds harsh, but for many of us it feels true. Our confidence in ourselves got pretty banged up over the years.Host (relatable anecdote): I want to start with a little story here. Picture late-diagnosed me a few years back, before I knew I had ADHD. Every morning I'd pep-talk myself: "Today, I'm gonna get everything on my to-do list done. I got this." And every evening I'd go to bed thinking, "I screwed it up again. What is wrong with me?" I remember once triple-booking my Saturday because Past Me didn't trust Future Me to actually remember my plans – I figured at least one of those events I'd flake on, so better to have backups!

Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, suicidal ideation, and eating disorders. Listener discretion is advised.In this deeply impactful episode, I sit down with the incredible Brittany Piper—international speaker, author, somatic experiencing practitioner, and founder of the Body First Healing program. Brittany shares her powerful story of overcoming trauma and explains how misdiagnoses like ADHD can sometimes mask deeper trauma responses.We dive into the science of the nervous system, the power of somatic healing, and how trauma lives in the body long after the mind thinks it's moved on. Brittany shares how her journey led her from survival to recovery, and how she now helps others understand their body's language to reclaim safety, connection, and joy. If you or someone you love struggles with trauma, anxiety, ADHD, or PTSD, this episode offers real hope, powerful insight, and practical tools for healing. Episode Highlights:[0:49] Meet Brittany Piper and a glimpse into her work and background in trauma-informed care.[3:05] Brittany opens up about her early life and how trauma impacted her mental health.[5:56] Grinning and bearing it: how unresolved trauma showed up as ADHD, anxiety, and depression.[8:41] The exhausting toll of a two-year trial process and its re-traumatizing effects.[12:08] Rock bottom: the jail cell moment that sparked Brittany's healing journey.[13:49] Introduction to somatic experiencing and how Brittany began healing her nervous system.[17:47] Why talk therapy alone wasn't enough—and how polyvagal theory changed everything.[22:10] Understanding nervous system responses and how to rewire for safety.[24:20] Trigger vs. activation: decoding what your body is really telling you.[28:56] How repeated exposure through the body can neutralize trauma responses.[31:49] Real-time somatic work: what healing looks like on a body level.[35:15] How somatic IFS and nervous system awareness help you lead from your most regulated self.[42:53] Why trauma recovery requires slowing down and building foundational safety.[44:47] The truth about regulation: it's not about "fixing" yourself—it's about changing how you relate to your emotions. Guest Bio:Brittany Piper is a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, author, and international speaker specializing in trauma-informed care and nervous system healing. She is the founder of the Body First Healing program and author of Body-First Healing: A Revolutionary Guide to Nervous System Recovery. Links & Resources:Learn more about Brittany's work: bodyfirsthealing.comFollow Brittany on Instagram: @healwithbritThank you for tuning into "SuccessFULL with ADHD." If this episode has impacted you, remember to rate, follow, share, and review our podcast. Your support helps us reach and help more individuals navigating their journeys with ADHD.Want to be ‘SuccessFULL with ADHD' by Activating Your ADHD Potential?Order our 3x best-selling book/workbook for adults with ADHD ▶️ http://bit.ly/activateadhd

Constantly overcommitting, overcompensating, over-explaining, and over-apologising? We certainly are... and we're absolutely OVER IT! How do intensely 'busy brained' ADHDers find 'balance' to avoid Burnout?...asking for a friend! ;) And I'm joined by one of my closest... come on an ADHDAF 'safari' to Blackpool Promenade for a chinwag with Mother of House of Wingz: Aishley Bell-Docherty, as we attempt to extinguish the fiery flames instead of fanning the ever glowing embers of Burnout! ...And you can join us in real life for The Blackpool Style Assembly, an immersive multi-catwalk event, boycotting fast fashion and championing neurodivergent and Blackpool creatives to raise funds for ADHDAF+ & Skool of Street Charities. One ticket gets you entry to BOTH the fashion show (with an ADHDAF Emporium grand finale) and the ADHDAF Sunday Social at the Ferny, where raising ADHD awareness meets Bingo and Karaoke. Grab your ticket HERETRIGGER WARNING: Contains LOTS of swearing, gallows humour, loud laughter and mentions of sensitive topics including; grief, bereavement, death, mother loss, trauma, anxiety, depression, alcohol, relationship struggles, and self loathing, If you are struggling, lo siento. You are not alone. Please reach out for help HERE- Get a ticket for the Style Assembly/ADHDAF Sunday Social HERE- Register Interest in ADHDAF+ Charity's FREE Peer Support Groups and ADHD Bingo Seminars to get email reminders HERE- Find out about The Big ADHD Fundraiser HERE- Shop ADHDAF Emporium HERE to support neurodivergent makers and small businesses, with 10% of profits donated to ADHDAF+ Charity- Watch the Style Assembly Documentary HEREEnormous thanks to the Patrreon community for keeping this podcast going for over three years and for inspiring the creation of ADHDAF+ Charity.If you would like to join the Patreon Community of ADHDAF Podcast listeners from all over the world; you can connect with, lean on and learn from literally like-minded legends for invaluable Peer support HEREThough the work of ADHDAF Podcast led to the creation of ADHDAF+ Charity, and helps to promote and fundraise for the charity; all things ADHDAF are entirely separate entities.Thank you SO MUCH for listening, and hope to meet you in Blackpool, at one of the free ADHDAF+ support groups or in the online community soonLaura xLEOPARD PRINT ARMY!@adhdafpodcast@adhdafplus@adhdafemporium@lauraisadhdafPhoto of Aishley & Laura singing karaoke in leopard print at Ferny House HotSupport the show

Are mornings hard for you? Do you try to start working right away, only to find yourself stuck — even when it's something you're genuinely excited about?This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye explains why mornings can be harder for ADHDers. And she shares tips for following through with our intentions when mornings are tough. Related resourcesWaking up is hard to do Timestamps(00:43) Sandi's listener letter(02:17) Why can mornings be hard with ADHD?(05:57) Do we need to do intense mental work in the morning?(08:30) Strategies to help do mental work in the morning if necessary(12:23) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Tips from an ADHD Coach show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

This is a VERY special episode featuring some of the incredible cyclists of The Big ADHD Fundraiser. From 1st - 3rd Aug '25, these legends are cycling almost 300 miles in just 3 days! This inspirational team of ADHDers share WHY they have taken on this challenge to raise funds for ADHDAF+ and ADHDadultUK charities. These late discovered ADHD adults are stepping up to do their bit for the ADHD Community and helping push for change to try to save future generations tfrom suffering as we have. I SALUTE YOU ALL! TRIGGER WARNING: contains mentions of very sensitive topics including; fatal accident, premature mortality, bereavement, addiction, drug use, depression, anxiety, suicide, self harm, trauma, anxiety, depression, mental health crisis, work struggles and unemployment. If you are struggling, lo siento. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Please reach out for help HERE - If you are able, we would be so very grateful if your could DONATE to The Big ADHD Fundraiser HERE- Fnd out more from James Brown & Darren about the fundraiser in THIS EPISODE- Find out more about ADHDAF+ Charity Support Groups, and sign up for email reminders for Peer Support and ADHD Bingo Seminars HERE- Buy one of Darren's Handmade Pens and 75% will be donated to the fundraiserEnormous thanks to all the cyclists: Darren, Claire, Beth, Katie, Micky, Jill, Steph, Tracy, Ronny, Richard & Emily! To all who have donated and helped raise awareness about this fundraiser. And to the ADHDAF Podcast Online Peer Support Community for inspiring and informing the work of ADHDAF+ Charity.  Sending our condolences and deepest sympathies to Tracy, and to all who love Thomas Agathangelou. This episode is dedicated to Thomas and to all of our absent friends taken too soon due to a lack of support and understanding of ADHD. You can help Darren and the Team on their mission by donating or even just by sharing this episode or the fundraising page; and we would all be so grateful for your support! Thanks so much, and hope to see you at July's London and Birmingham ADHDAF+ groups for ADHD Bingo!BIG LOVE Laura xLEOPARD PRINT ARMY!*though ADHDAF Podcast inspired the creation of and helps fundraise for ADHDAF+ Charity, the two are entirely separate entities!Support the show

Feeling guilty about resting, even when you're burnt out? You're not alone, and your ADHD brain might be the reason.This episode is for anyone with ADHD who struggles to slow down without spiraling.Ky sits down with ADHD coach and educator Jess DuBose to talk about why rest is so hard for ADHDers, and why the usual advice like “just relax” doesn't cut it. Jess shares how her new course, Rest Like a Rebel, breaks down the seven types of rest we actually need, especially when our minds won't stop racing.Together, they unpack the shame around stillness, the myth that productivity equals worth, and what it really means to rest without guilt. Jess brings humor, realness, and powerful tools to help you honor your brain and your body, even on the busiest days.If you've ever felt tired but wired, this conversation will make you feel seen, supported, and a little more hopeful.Learn more about Jess and her course:https://jessdubose.com/restFollow Jess on Instagram: https://instagram.com/coachingwithjessFollow Jess on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@coachingwithjessExplore all things Jess: https://jessdubose.com/

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Kate Moryoussef, host of the award-winning ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, to discuss the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent mothers. Both diagnosed in their 40s, Kate and I share authentic insights about self-acceptance, burnout prevention, and how to be the calm anchor for our families. Key Topics Discussed The grief and relief that comes with a late ADHD diagnosis Why self-compassion must come before self-acceptance Recognizing the subtle signs of approaching burnout How ADHD presents differently across life stages and hormonal changes The importance of being the calm anchor in dysregulated family moments Practical burnout prevention strategies for ADHD women Breaking free from societal expectations and "shoulds" The ripple effect of self-care on family dynamics Sincerely,  ❤️ Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist  ⭐️ Click here for free resources, trainings, and continuing education- ⭐️ Get your FREE BEHAVIOR DETECTIVE GUIDE  To support neurodivergent children and teens, we need to understand their unique needs and honor their experiences. The Behavior Detective Guide breaks down information to help identify barriers and patterns, leading to neurodiversity affirming approaches.  • Parents click here  • Therapists click here  • Educators click here  ⭐️ Get your FREE SOCIAL SUCCESS GUIDE  Social interaction can be confusing and anxiety-provoking for neurodivergent children and teens. The Social Success Guide provides practical strategies to support social confidence and authenticity.  • Parents click here - https://www.hollyblancmoses.com/pl/276666  • Therapists click here - https://www.hollyblancmoses.com/pl/271718  • Educators click here - https://www.hollyblancmoses.com/pl/271424  ⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION  Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.  Neurodiversity therapists click here ⭐️ Welcome to our PARENT MASTERCLASSES WITH Q&A  Each live class is packed with supportive strategies on the topics parents want most. Can't make it live? No worries, because you'll get the replay. Sign up to be the first to know when the next masterclass is scheduled.  Parents click here for your masterclasses  ❤️ You're invited to my FACEBOOK GROUPS. Can't wait to see you there:)  ➡️ Parents, come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents https://www.facebook.com/groups/WiredDifferentlyGroup  ➡️ Therapists & educators, join the Facebook Group for professionals https://www.facebook.com/groups/professionalsforwdchildren  ❤️ Thanks for sharing this episode and supporting The Autism ADHD Podcast!

So with news articles and headlines about how folks with ADHD need to get off their meds or go outside or be 'cured', there's something of a big misunderstanding and gaps in perspectives on ADHD and what it actually means. Including our shared values as a real ADHD culture, especially around how people or authority figures will relate to us. David and Isabelle describe some of the shared values in neurodivergent or ADHD culture, including ideas around masking, disclosing, lateral thinking, and questioning authority--and whether you believe that others, particularly those in power, will help you or understand you. Exploring many aspects of the neurodivergent community--and how groups form--ADHDers (more likely than the average bear) identify as members of LGBTQ+ communities, members of nontraditional or non-dominant faith groups, entrepreneurs, tech-friendly folx, and members of the military, to start. From recognizing that there are stages and phases to feeling like you can both belong and be unique, to the power of community in developing a sense of self-esteem, the need to have metacognition (or an understanding of WHY a thing is or how it works for you). --David starts by naming that within a neurodivergent or ADHD culture, there are shared values. And what we believe might be impacted by our approach to masking and our context—did we have to mask a lot? Do we need masking or not? But it also asks us: do we believe that people will help us? That schools will help us? That people with power or systemic power will support us or understand us?  David doesn't think that trust in these systems is high in the ADHD population. A lot of people don't feel like they can trust the system and it might be why we don't disclose, we don't share, we don't ask. We are a subgroup, but we are not substandard. Lots of wars being waged on ADHD, and that entire perspective ignores the things that are important. Since David joined Eye to Eye years ago and joined the ND community, he watched graduation rates go up, he'd give talks in a room and ask “who has adhd?” And no one would raise their hand. “Does it feel wrong to be asked?” And now when you talk about it in a group, people raise their hands right away. There is the good work. There is a cultural war on ADHD. Isabelle names that one of the strengths of ADHD, which is important to include in any future articles, is that we think ‘creatively,' also known as lateral or divergent thinking. We don't necessarily follow a linear thought process and skip around  think laterally or divergently. For her fellow AuDHDers, Isabelle recognizes that she does want clarity and often tries to go back to a linear though process to make sure she's understanding something clearly. But in general, the lateral thinking—lends itself to questioning authority, taking multiple perspectives, playing devil's advocate, which doesn't necessarily mean that people feel comfortable sharing this. There's a larger percentage of us that identify as queer or LGBTQ+ communities, nonbinary, gender fluid—there's also a larger percentage of us that its int he military, tech community, entrepreneurs. We tolerate risk differently. David names that this allows us a different way of recognizing our needs. If the rest of the world tells you something should meet your needs but it doesn't, you're going to maybe go back to the drawing board and start to think about things a little differently. You may be a more natural out of the box thinker, because of a lack of neural pruning. More doesn't mean better, and it doesn't mean worse. It's not a a hierarchy. Just acknowledging it exists gives people a place to belong. Isabelle describes the stages of building a group—we first debate if we want to join, we norm and create a share a set of values and create a cohesion, and then the strength of the group's cohesiveness is tested and retested with storming and questioning and then you come to the place where you are both an individual and belong, that both can coexist dynamically. Even in Isabelle's own process of joining this group of neurodivergence, when she cried at the mailboxes with David, she is feeling this with the autistic side of her, and she's seeing it everywhere and she deeply wants to belong, and then she's questioning or noticing the differences, and then she's cozy in being different and yet belonging. David names how important self esteem is for us; and we can't really develop self esteem alone, it helps you to see others who get it and can resonate with you. Three most important factors: self esteem, ability to advocate for your needs, and metacognition (understand we do what we do). You shouldn't have to try so hard to ‘fit into' a culture, it should be more natural. Isabelle names how metacognition, or changing your operating instructions, gives you a chance to reframe your own history, your present and your plans, and your needs are different than what you realized. Referencing the NYT article about ADHD meds—if you have no concept of what medication is doing for you or connecting with your medication, it's like you're fueling yourself up with a really good fuel source and you have no direction to put it in. David wants a formalized response to the NYTimes article. A formal round table. The strengths of ADHD — see Dr. Holly White's work at the University of Michigan (Scientific American article)Divergent or lateral thinking - probably most commonly called "brainstorming," it's when you generate multiple ideas, applications, solutions, problems, and hop around instead of just focusing on one answer--see this interesting guide from the University of Texas at Austin that helps teachers learn how to ENCOURAGE divergent thinking in their students.  How divergent thinking is connected to creativity (study)As well as addressing self esteem and practicing self-advocacy, work with ADHD means developing:Metacognition — thinking about your thinking, or why you do what you do. It's like understanding you've been handled incorrect or inapplicable instructions. Knowing why you need an accommodation and why it helps. It involves an awareness as well as an ability to regulate/choose a strategy (eg. changing how you study for a particular test). 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What if there was a simple tool that could take your anxiety from a 9/10 down to a 4? Something to help with procrastination, self-doubt, emotional overwhelm, and that shamey feeling of being too much and never enough?Well, my friend - there is. And we're diving into it in today's episode.In this conversation, I'm joined by my good friend Jess Johnson — a former therapist, certified EFT practitioner and fellow ADHDer. Jess shares her powerful story of getting diagnosed later in life and how discovering EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) changed the way she managed her ADHD.We talk about:What EFT actually is & how it worksWhy it's so effective for ADHDers How EFT helps with emotional regulation, RSD, anxiety, sleep, and morePlus how YOU can start using it today (even if it sounds a bit weird at first!)

An episode that busts the myth of 'perfect' creative processes!In Episode 140 of The Autistic Culture Podcast, Dr Angela Kingdon speaks with Sol Smith, author of The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery. If you've spent time on TikTok, YouTube, or inside the NeuroSpicy community, you've probably felt the impact of Sol's voice—direct, affirming, and deeply validating. He joins the show to help us rethink our relationship with writing routines, explore the realities of autistic creative rhythms, and bust the myth of 'perfect' creative processes.Plus, we announce our amazing winners from our fifth writing contest!Here are our top two entries.OUR WINNER

Content Warning: This episode contains mentions of suicidal ideation and explicit language.Hey friends! This episode is a super special one — and in true ADHD fashion, it only took us four tries to make it happen! I'm beyond excited to finally bring you a heart-filled conversation with Coach Kelly Dyches. Kelly is an ADHD and growth mindset coach who's been working with neurodiverse individuals for over 16 years. She's a rockstar on our team at Coaching With Brooke and is especially known for her incredible work helping clients heal emotional dysregulation and boost self-esteem through our signature 3C Activation program.In our chat, Kelly gets real about her personal journey to discovering she had ADHD after her son's diagnosis, how she went from suicidal ideation to self-worth champion, and how her passion for helping others led her to become a certified ADHD coach. She shares powerful coaching techniques for handling rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), emotional overwhelm, and the automatic negative thoughts that so many ADHDers silently carry. If you've ever struggled to believe in yourself, this episode will give you both tools and hope.Episode Highlights:[0:58] - Welcome to the show and intro to Coach Kelly Dyches.[2:27] - Kelly's path to discovering her own ADHD through her child's diagnosis.[4:42] - The moment that lit a fire in Kelly to become an ADHD coach.[6:52] - How her journey through training deepened her confidence and purpose.[8:47] - The impact of 3C Activation — from student to transformation guide.[14:39] - Why emotional regulation is a core component of ADHD coaching.[15:11] - Techniques Kelly uses to help clients shift from overwhelm to calm.[18:07] - A powerful RSD coaching moment and the tool of naming negative voices.[21:49] - How reframing thoughts helped her client shift self-perception.[25:24] - Tracking thought patterns and growing self-awareness.[28:21] - Building routines and accountability with compassion.[30:37] - Breaking the resistance to external tools and embracing support.[31:49] - What's changed in Kelly's coaching after five years in practice.[35:45] - The single most powerful belief-shifting tool she uses with clients.[39:34] - Gratitude and reflection on coaching and community.Thank you for tuning into "SuccessFULL with ADHD." If this episode has impacted you, remember to rate, follow, share, and review our podcast. Your support helps us reach and help more individuals navigating their journeys with ADHD.Want to be ‘SuccessFULL with ADHD' by Activating Your ADHD Potential?Order our 3x best-selling book/workbook for adults with ADHD ▶️ http://bit.ly/activateadhd

Picture this: You're on the wildest roller coaster of your life – dizzying highs, sudden drops, and your heart racing. For many of us with ADHD, early romance can feel exactly like that. Our brains light up with excitement and novelty, but those same traits that make us passionate can also leave us vulnerable to toxic relationships. Research shows that adults with ADHD often report childhood trauma and have brains that crave dopamine in high doses. That means the drama of a turbulent partner might feel familiar or even thrilling. As Dr. Gabor Maté puts it, people unconsciously “choose each other with an unerring instinct” for partners who mirror their own unresolved anxieties and pain. In plain terms, ADHD traits plus past stresses can set us up for danger if we're not careful. Today on Authentically ADHD, we're peeling back the curtain on why ADHD brains are wired to overlook red flags, and how to recognize and escape toxic dynamics – with a dose of neuroscience, expert insight, and real talk.Impulsivity & Novelty-SeekingFor someone with ADHD, new romance can be intoxicating. We crave excitement, and a high-energy partner often delivers. As ADHD experts explain, ADHD often means higher impulsivity and constant novelty-seeking. In one study's key takeaways, ADHD “can cause increased impulsivity and novelty-seeking behavior — like constantly looking for new and exciting experiences”. In practice, that means you might rush headlong into a relationship without waiting to see the red flags. Dr. Edward Hallowell famously described how a person with ADHD “seldom feels bored”, instantly switching to something new at the first hint of dullness. When a toxic partner offers a rush of drama – extreme highs like bombarding you with affection (love-bombing), followed by sharp criticisms – your ADHD brain gets dopamine hits at every twist and turn. Those dopamine spikes can feel like love, making chaos seem exciting instead of dangerous.For example, imagine texting back instantly without thinking, even when something feels off. Or jumping into serious commitments with someone who's shown controlling behaviors, simply because the initial chemistry is overwhelming. That's ADHD impulsivity and thrill-seeking at work. We're more likely to mistake high drama for passion. But remember: healthy relationships can be dynamic too, with steady excitement that builds trust, not tension. As one ADDitude expert notes, treating your ADHD through therapy, medication, or coaching can diminish the craving for those unhealthy dopamine hits, helping you choose more stable love over wild rides.Hyperfocus on the Wrong PartnersIt's no secret: we can intensely fixate on a new crush. In ADHD terms, this is hyperfocus – pouring all our attention into one person. Early in romance, that means calling, texting, planning every detail together in a way that feels magical. But there's a catch. As ADDitude editors point out, people with ADHD “feel emotions intensely and might hyperfocus on their partner, especially at the outset of a new, exciting relationship”. In practice, we hang on every word they say, overlook snide comments, and rewrite our own friend's concerns as jealousy or misunderstanding.For instance, imagine the first few weeks with a new partner: your ADHD brain is 100% engaged. They text, you reply lightning-fast. They cancel plans unexpectedly, and you shrug it off because you're so grateful to have their attention at all. That hyperfocus can blind us to manipulation. We might stay up all night chatting about their life story – even the parts that don't add up – or excuse their mood swings because we're convinced this time they really get us. In short, hyperfocus makes us all in right away. Unfortunately, that's exactly when a toxic partner is most charming. The downside: once the infatuation fades, the problems you missed can hit hard.Emotional Dysregulation & RSDIf romance hits a rough patch, ADHD brains react strongly. Many of us experience big emotions and mood swings that non-ADHD folks don't. This is by no accident: researchers like Dr. Russell Barkley show that emotional impulsiveness and deficient emotional self-regulation (DESR) are integral to ADHD. In plain terms, we can swing from zero to a hundred easily. One ADHD expert put it simply: many adults with ADHD “experience big emotions, and such intense emotions can easily destabilize even the strongest partnerships”. You might cry for hours over a forgotten text, or erupt in anger if you feel left out.On top of that, ADHD comes with something called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). RSD means we feel rejection or criticism as emotional pain so intense it's almost physical. Even a partner's mild critique might feel like a punch to the gut. Picture this: your partner says, “Maybe you should try to be on time,” and suddenly you're convinced they're plotting to dump you. That fear triggers panic; you obsess over what you did wrong all night. RSD can make us paranoid about losing someone, even if they haven't shown real signs of leaving. As one therapist explains, this leads some of us to overreact or interpret neutral acts as intentional hurt.The result? Emotional turmoil in the relationship. You may push back fiercely, cry uncontrollably, or withdraw completely, depending on the day. A toxic partner often intentionally amplifies this – a small critique from them can send you spiraling, which they then dismiss as irrational. Meanwhile, your inability to regulate means you keep doing exactly what angers you or makes you sad. Over time, the ups and downs can leave you feeling drained and doubting your sanity.Next up we are talking Boundaries, low self trust, fear of abandonment & misinterpreting social cues and of course some tips on how to spot the red flags and feel more empowered, but first a word from our sponsors….********************course AD, patreon & FOCUSED **************Executive Dysfunction and BoundariesAnother ADHD truth: our executive functioning – planning, organizing, self-control – can be a major challenge. In relationships, this often shows up as forgiving and forgetting where we shouldn't. We struggle to keep track of agreed boundaries. If our partner sets a rule and then crosses it, we might not recall our agreement clearly, or our impulsivity makes us give in. We might be hyper-organized about work but completely miss that we promised to stay home for the night.According to relationship researchers, the ADHD symptoms that commonly impact love include inattention, forgetfulness, impulsivity, and disorganization. These can make our partners feel like we're unreliable or distracted (even if we aren't trying to be). For example, you might forget to call back, miss important dates, or say something impulsive without meaning to. In a toxic dynamic, an abusive partner may use this “flakiness” as more fodder: “You never care!” they might snap, and you believe it. If you've already agreed on a boundary, then your executive funk sets in, you slip, and they use that slip-up against you.Imagine a scenario: Your partner says you're not allowed to have certain friends, but because you forgot the rule, you slip into a group chat. They find out and accuse you of betrayal. You try to organize a simple date night to save the peace, but you overcommit and then drop the ball. Each mistake feeds into a narrative that you are the unreliable one. In reality, ADHD makes it hard to maintain consistency, and a toxic partner will exploit every mix-up.Low Self-Trust and Fear of AbandonmentAfter so many mistakes and misunderstandings, our self-trust can plummet. We start to doubt our instincts. If every relationship feels doomed or everyone seems angry at us, we might think “There must be something wrong with me.” That's a dangerous trap. People with ADHD often develop a deep-seated fear of abandonment – a terror that if we speak up or leave, we really will end up alone. This fear is fueled by a history of feeling rejected or criticized (or even trauma) early in life.Dr. Maté's insight is revealing here: “Couples choose each other with an unerring instinct for finding the very person who will exactly match their own level of unconscious anxieties and mirror their own dysfunctions…”. In other words, we often (unconsciously) pick partners who resonate with our own pain. If you grew up feeling dismissed or unsafe, you might be drawn to someone who keeps you just anxious enough to feel something. Once in that relationship, the fear of losing them can become paralyzing. You worry that no one else would put up with you, so you stay and ignore the issues. This matches what many therapists see: ADHDers, already vulnerable after feeling misunderstood for years, often fear that demanding respect means losing love.On top of that, people with ADHD frequently have low self-esteem because of a lifetime of “you're late, you forgot, you didn't finish.” Dr. Ari Tuckman and others note that ADHD can come hand-in-hand with low confidence and negative self-talk. When that combines with RSD, any threat of breakup feels like confirmation that we're worthless. A toxic partner can pick up on this. They may say, “If you left, you'd be alone forever,” or even gaslight you into thinking you are the problem. We're vulnerable to believing them.Misreading Manipulation & Social CuesHere's another twist: ADHD can make social cues tricky. Many of us are extremely empathetic and assume people are good. At the same time, we can be so distracted that subtle manipulations fly under our radar. A partner might gaslight (“You imagined that, I never said that”) or shift blame, and we might miss or excuse it. We might rationalize their behavior (“He's just stressed”) when an outsider sees it's abuse. Sadly, this combination – empathy plus distractibility – can make us targets for manipulation. A toxic partner counts on us missing their red flags, and often we do.For example, if they love-bomb you (“You're perfect!”) one day and slam you (“You're crazy!”) the next, your ADHD impulses might focus only on the highs and forget the lows until they hit you like a ton of bricks. If your partner hints at being jealous or controlling, you might interpret it as passionate love instead of a warning sign. This isn't your fault – it's how ADHD can paint a rosier picture in the moment. The key is to learn the difference between passion and poison.Spotting Red Flags and Self-EmpowermentLet's pull this together with some practical steps. The good news: knowing these patterns is the first step to breaking them. Here are some red flags to watch for, especially if you have ADHD:Love-bombing & devaluation: If someone showers you with affection one moment and dismisses you the next, that intense cycle is toxic drama, not true intimacy.Gaslighting: If you constantly feel confused or like you're crazy about reality, that's a major red flag. ADHD brains already second-guess ourselves; don't let someone else add fuel.Disrespecting boundaries: If your “no” or your limits are ignored or mocked, that partner is not respecting you. That's abuse, not just a “quirk.”Consistent disrespect: Small insidious things (rolling eyes, insults, taking you for granted) add up. ADHD people may brush them off, but ask yourself, “How would I feel if a friend said these things?”Excessive drama: An ongoing soap opera of breakups and makeups is not love, it's manipulation. Your brain might crave the adrenaline, but it's unhealthy.Knowledge is power. As one ADDitude article recommends, recognize the signs early and treat your ADHD – with coaching, therapy, medication or all three. Managing your ADHD symptoms can help clear the fog: you'll have better impulse control, greater emotional balance, and a more realistic view of your partner. Also, remember: you deserve consistency and respect. It's okay to set firm boundaries and stick to them. Practice saying “no” in low-stakes situations so it's easier when it counts.If you notice your anxious ADHD brain is saying things like “If I leave, I'll never find anyone,” remember the facts: Some relationships truly are meant to last a season, and letting go is not a failure. As one expert bluntly puts it: “Leaving doesn't mean you wasted time… Leaving is always an option”. Empower yourself by remembering that the right person will value your kindness and passion – not exploit it.In closing: ADHD gives us wonderful strengths (creativity, empathy, energy), but it also comes with vulnerabilities in love. By educating ourselves about how our brains work, listening to experts, and sharing experiences, we can spot toxic patterns before they take hold. You are worthy of a healthy, respectful love. Keep your eyes and heart open, trust your gut, and never forget – you're not alone on this journey. Thats all I have for now, stay authentic and we will talk soon!Linktree: https://linktr.ee/carmen_irace Join Focused: https://ihaveadhdllc.ontralink.com/t?orid=29951&opid=1 Sources: Scientific insights in this episode are drawn from ADHD experts and research, ensuring our advice is grounded in what the specialists say. (Images courtesy of licensed resources.) Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

What if the version of yourself you've spent years trying to fix just to blend in, was never broken to begin with? Tune in for an inspiring discussion with Sol Smith on his new book The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery: Flourishing as a Neurodivergent Adult.Moments with Marianne airs in the Southern California area on KMET1490AM & 98.1 FM, an ABC Talk News Radio affiliate!  Sol Smith is an author and of the manager of the Neurospicy Community, which is the largest sup  port network for autistics and ADHDers in the world.  A certified autism specialist who is autistic, dyslexic, and living with ADHD. spent more than two decades as a college professor before shifting his professional focus to coaching other autistic and ADHD people to gain autonomy in their lives. Sol's speaking skills have earned him a following of hundreds of thousands on TikTok and led to educational seminars about neurodiversity with corporations around the world.  http://www.ProfessorSol.comFor more show information visit: www.MariannePestana.com

We tend to think of memory as a vault—something that, if built correctly, should always open on command. The vault metaphor is tidy, satisfying, and wrong. In truth, memory is more like a three-legged stool balanced precariously on a floor that shifts beneath us. For people with ADHD, that floor isn't just shifting—it's often crumbling. And still, we're asked to sit perfectly still.This week, we're joined by Dr. Daniella Karidi—executive coach, cognitive scientist, and founder of ADHDtime—for a conversation that reframes what we know about memory. She maps its steps—encoding, storage, retrieval—and then shows us exactly where, and why, those steps falter in the ADHD brain. What emerges is a picture of fragility—of a system doing its best under conditions for which it was never optimized.We explore working memory, the critical minute when new information is either transformed into long-term knowledge or simply lost to distraction. We talk about why prospective memory—remembering to do something in the future—is especially difficult for ADHDers, and how most of our strategies fail because they focus on what to remember, not where or when we'll need to recall it.But perhaps the most radical idea Daniella offers is this: Forgetting is not failure. It is human. And for ADHD brains, it's not about being careless or lazy—it's about a system built for immediacy, not for invisible timekeeping. The key is not to “try harder,” but to scaffold smarter. Memory isn't a moral issue. It's an engineering problem.Daniella shows us how to work with our memory instead of against it, from post-its and memory palaces to understanding state dependence and the power of meaningful cues. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever walked into a room and forgotten why, missed a meeting they cared about, or been told—once again—that they “just need to focus.” If memory has ever felt like a betrayal, this episode is the beginning of forgiveness. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (00:45) - Support the Show: Become a Patron! (01:48) - Introducing Dr. Daniella Karidi ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this episode of the Pause Purpose Play podcast, host Michaela Thomas welcomes the founders of the Evolve Journal, Sam and Freddy Titcombe. They discuss the development of the Evolve Journal, a tool designed to help people live with more intention, clarity, and consistency by focusing on manageable progress rather than perfection. Sam and Freddy share insights on building healthy journaling habits, the importance of self-kindness, and the value of stoicism in daily life. The conversation highlights the balance of emotional reflection with practical goal-setting, addressing how to manage AHDH traits and the challenges of maintaining consistency. They also touch on the four fundamental pillars of happiness—health, wealth, relationships, and freedom—and provide practical tips for integrating them into daily life. The episode concludes with advice on giving yourself permission to make mistakes and continue striving for growth.   Join the waitlist for the next Burn Bright cohort here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright Find the Evolve Journal here: https://www.evolvejourney.co.uk/

Struggling to get organized? You're not broken — you're just an ADHDer with a real, overwhelmed brain.In this episode, we're ditching the shame spiral and unpacking why staying organized is so hard for ADHDers… and what actually helps. Spoiler alert: It's NOT more bins.If your home feels like a disaster zone, this one's for you. We'll talk about:Why executive dysfunction—not laziness—is the real culpritHow emotional regulation (not time management) is the secret key to organizingThe connection between trauma and clutterWhat Marie Kondo got right… and what she totally missedThe ADHD-friendly 3-pile system that actually worksHow to help your kids without losing your mindWhy decision fatigue is derailing your declutteringAnd how to redefine “organized enough” for your actual lifeThis episode is packed with practical strategies, permission slips, and empowering reminders that your messy house is not a moral failing.Listen now, take what resonates, and leave the guilt behind.Watch this episode on YouTubeWant help with your ADHD? Join FOCUSED!Have questions for Kristen? Call 1.833.281.2343Hang out with Kristen on Instagram and TikTokCozy Earth

In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we dive deep into a behavior that many ADHDers know all too well: ghosting. Whether it's avoiding difficult conversations or disappearing unexpectedly from social situations, ghosting isn't about lack of care—it's about how our brains process and react to emotional stress. Carmen explores the neuroscience behind social avoidance in ADHD, explaining how executive dysfunction, emotional intensity, and dopamine dynamics contribute to the impulse to withdraw.Through a blend of science and real-life anecdotes, this episode reveals why ADHD brains struggle with navigating challenging interactions and how this can lead to patterns of avoidance. Carmen then shares practical, science-backed strategies for managing social avoidance, including recognizing triggers, developing communication scripts, utilizing time management techniques, practicing mindfulness, and building supportive networks.By the end of the episode, listeners will have actionable tools to improve their communication skills and foster healthier, more understanding relationships. Tune in for a compassionate exploration of how ADHD affects social behavior and why it's time to stop ghosting—and start engaging with confidence.show notes with minutes Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

Transcript: Welcome to today's episode! We're diving deep into ADHD and autism – what makes them unique, where they overlap, and how they shape day-to-day life. We'll mix neuroscience, the latest research, and real-life stories to make it all click. This show is for neurodivergent adults, and also parents and educators who want to really understand what living with ADHD and autism can be like.Imagine sitting in a meeting: the clock ticks, but your mind is racing on a thousand other things. Or being at a loud party and feeling every light and sound press in on you. Those are snippets of how ADHD or autism can feel. For anyone with these conditions (or both), life can be a wild ride of challenges and unique gifts. But you're not alone – there are science-backed ways to cope and even thrive.In recent years, brain science has been uncovering secrets about ADHD and autism. Researchers use brain scans and cognitive tests to see how neurodivergent brains work differently. We won't get lost in jargon, but the gist is this: ADHD often involves lower activity in brain areas that handle focus, planning, and impulse control – think of it like having a very fast car with weak brakes. Autism often involves brain circuits that are finely tuned, noticing patterns and details that others miss, but also picking up sensory inputs very intensely. So, one brain might crave novelty while needing a tight routine, the other might detect every background sound. Knowing this biological side helps make sense of everyday experiences.ADHD: A Brain That Zigs When Others ZagADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, shows up as three main quirks:* Trouble sustaining attention: Daydreaming or being easily distracted, missing details.* Impulsivity: Acting or speaking without thinking it through (like blurting an answer or grabbing the last slice of pizza on a whim).* Hyperactivity: Feeling restless or fidgety, like you have to move even when you're sitting still.Some people call the ADHD brain “a race car with fuzzy brakes.” Neuroscientists tell us ADHD brains often have lower levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, especially in the prefrontal cortex (the area acting like the brain's CEO). That makes it harder to plan, stay organized, or resist impulses. For example, you might forget appointments, interrupt conversations, or feel like you have to pace when sitting.On the flip side, ADHD brains can hyperfocus on things they love. Picture an editor sitting at a cluttered desk. The sound of typing is soothing… until a stray light catches the editor's eye. Suddenly they are deep in a Wikipedia spiral about vintage computers and forget the report due tomorrow. They laugh later: “I meant to write one paragraph and ended up learning about floppy disks for two hours!” Hyperfocus isn't guaranteed, though. Often tasks we have to do feel like a slog, and we procrastinate until the deadline hits. Then, under panic, our brain goes into overdrive – a burst of productivity called “crunch mode.” It's like living with an internal pressure cooker: long periods of low simmer, then sudden high heat to get things done.Emotionally, ADHD can feel like riding a rollercoaster. You might feel frustration or embarrassment about symptoms (like always losing your keys or blurting out something inappropriate). Anxiety and low self-esteem are common too, especially if you've been scolded or misunderstood a lot. But knowing the brain science behind ADHD brings relief: it's not laziness or a character flaw, it's biology. And that matters, because it means there are ways to help and work with your brain.Autism Spectrum: Sensory Worlds and Special InterestsAutism (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is also a brain difference – but it shows up differently. Key traits include:* Social communication differences: Difficulty reading facial expressions, understanding tone of voice, or navigating small talk.* Repetitive behaviors and routines: Craving sameness, following strict routines, or repeating certain movements (like hand-flapping or lining things up).* Sensory sensitivities: Being bothered by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, scratchy clothing, or certain tastes.Imagine the brain as a radio receiver. In many autistic people, the dial picks up everything at full volume. So a buzzing neon light or a faint background hum can feel overwhelming. Scientists sometimes talk about an imbalance of excitation and inhibition in the autistic brain – in plain terms, sensory signals can all flood in without enough “filter.” This means autistic people notice fine details (that spider web, that slight pattern in wallpaper) but can be easily overloaded by a busy environment.Anecdote: Take Alex, an autistic architect. She describes going to a big family gathering: “The buzzing lights and overlapping conversations felt like waves crashing on me,” Alex says. “I had to step outside and put my headphones on to avoid a meltdown.” This is common: when too many signals hit at once, an autistic person might feel panic, shutdown, or even a meltdown (an intense emotional response). If things calm down, it's like a storm passing – but the confusion and stress can last for hours after.On the plus side, autism often brings intense interests and superb focus on details. That same Alex can spend hours perfecting a building design or spotting the tiniest crack in a wall that others wouldn't see. Many autistic people excel in fields that match their special interests – like science, art, math, or technology – because they're deeply passionate and not easily bored.Socially, autism can look like missed cues. You might overhear, “Why don't you just look people in the eye?” without realizing eye contact might feel painful or distracting. Or you might get puzzled advice like “don't take that literally,” when you really did mean exactly what you said. Brain imaging shows autistic folks often use different brain networks for social processing, so it can feel like navigating a conversation in a foreign language. That's okay! With understanding and support, autistic people often learn communication tricks that work for them.Where They Overlap: AuDHD and Shared TraitsIt turns out ADHD and autism often go together. Research suggests about half of autistic people also meet criteria for ADHD. Some folks even say they have “AuDHD” (autism+ADHD). If you have both, traits can blend in interesting ways. ADHD might add impulsivity and distractibility, while autism adds sensory needs and craving routine.One person described it like this: “My ADHD mind signs me up for more than my autistic brain can deliver at times.” It's a classic tug-of-war: part of you craves structure, part of you craves novelty. Many with both report feeling like a “walking contradiction” – wanting predictability but also getting bored by too much predictability.Shared challenges can include:* Executive function struggles: Both conditions can make organizing tasks, planning ahead, or switching activities hard. It can feel like your brain's to-do list app keeps crashing.* Sensory quirks: While sensory overload is famous in autism, ADHDers can also be sensitive (or sometimes under-sensitive) to sensory input. Both might need fidget toys or headphones to stay comfortable.* Emotional intensity: Both ADHD and autism are linked to higher anxiety, mood swings, or “meltdowns.” The brain chemistry and life stressors (feeling different, facing stigma) both play a role.* Trouble with transitions: Starting or stopping tasks can be super hard. You might think you can drop one activity and switch to another on cue, but often it feels like a gradual drift or a sudden jolt instead.Think of having both as juggling snowballs in a windstorm. For example, imagine someone with both ADHD and autism. They love a morning routine of coffee and crosswords, but if they miss that coffee (coffee catastrophe!), their ADHD brain causes a frantic search for the mug while their autism makes every change feel like a crash. If they try a new latte shop (novelty alert!), the ADHD part is excited but the autism part panics over the unpredictable ordering system. It's tricky.However, there are strengths too. Many people with AuDHD report creativity and unique problem-solving. They often see details and big patterns at once. For example, they might notice a statistic (detail) and also have a wild new idea (big picture) about it. The key is managing the quirks to let those superpowers shine.Daily Life Impact: Emotions, Thinking, Social, and WorkLiving with ADHD and/or autism can color every part of life. Let's break down some common areas:EmotionallyLiving with ADHD or autism can feel like having an emotional accelerator and brake pedal that sometimes fail. You might swing quickly from excitement to frustration. Frustration and anxiety often come from feeling misunderstood or not in control. Little surprises (a canceling a plan, a sudden noise) can trigger big reactions. If you've been punished for symptoms out of your control, you might have long-standing low self-esteem. Remember: getting emotional about these challenges is normal. It helps to remind yourself that meltdowns or outbursts are signals — your brain's way of saying it needs a break or some support, not proof that you're failing. After the episode, self-care and a bit of self-compassion (“That was tough, but I survived”) can help you recover and learn.Many neurodivergent people use humor as a lifesaver. Joking about “my ADHD brain is like a puppy on espresso” or “my daily meltdown wardrobe” can help talk about tough stuff more easily. Sometimes laughing at ourselves (gently, not harshly) reminds us that everyone has quirks.CognitivelyNeurodivergent minds often have a unique thinking style — like a maze and a playground at once. Here are a few common cognitive features:* Attention: ADHD means your attention is selective. You might ignore something boring (like scrolling through your phone in a dull lecture) and yet get laser-focused on something else (like planning the ultimate pizza toppings). Autism, too, can involve deep focus — on a special interest, that same lecture if it's on your passion topic, or even on everyday details most people miss. In either case, switching gears can be hard. Interrupting deep thought to do something mundane is like a rude alarm clock that nobody asked for.* Memory & Organization: These brains may misplace keys, appointments, or even thoughts. Working memory feels like a leaky bucket — once a distraction hits, stuff goes out. You might set a reminder on your phone, forget about it five minutes later, then panic when the date passes. Or you keep 100 tabs open in your brain, and sometimes one of them quietly closes without telling you. This isn't forgetfulness; it's the brain's attention and memory systems juggling too much.* Processing Speed: Some people think very fast (“see” many thoughts at once), others very slowly, or even seem to “lag” when switching tasks. For example, someone might need extra time to formulate an answer in conversation, even if they could write it perfectly later. Don't mistake a short pause for a problem with intelligence — it's just how the mind processes information.Social LifeNavigating social waters can be bumpy for ADHD and autism, but there are ways to manage. For example:* Social Cues: Autistic folks might miss a sarcastic tone or not get why everyone laughed. ADHD folks might interrupt without meaning to or blurt out irrelevant stuff. Both can accidentally seem “awkward” or “rude” when really they just didn't pick up cues. One trick is to be upfront: it's okay to say, “Hey, I have ADHD/autism, sometimes I need a little extra time or clarity.” Often people are understanding if they know.* Friendships: You might find yourself drifting between friend groups or feeling out of sync. It's common to form one very close friendship rather than a big circle. That's fine! Focus on quality over quantity. Some neurodivergent people prefer one-on-one hangouts or quiet meetups rather than crowded parties.* Support: Having friends or family who “get it” makes a huge difference. Find people (even online) who understand ND humor and vibe. Parents and educators, it helps to show kids or teens examples of famous or everyday people who are thriving with ADHD/autism, so they know they're not alone.Work and SchoolIn jobs and classes, ADHD and autism present both challenges and strengths. Many ND people become A+ in their passion subjects but struggle in areas they find boring or disorganized. The good news is, accommodations can help:* Structure and Environment: If possible, pick a study or work spot with fewer distractions. Use earbuds with soft music to drown out noisy offices. Request a quiet corner, noise-canceling headphones, or flexible deadlines when allowed. Small adjustments (like a fidget tool hidden in your pocket or a standing desk) can help channel hyperactivity or sensory needs.* Time Management: Tools are your friends – planners, calendars, reminder apps. Break big projects into bite-size tasks. For example, don't just have “write paper” on the list; break it into “outline ideas,” “write intro,” etc. This reduces overwhelm and gives you little wins.* Leaning In on Strengths: ND people often excel in roles that align with their brains. An ADHD person might do great in a fast-paced, varied job (like first responder or entrepreneur). An autistic person might shine in coding, design, or research. If you can steer your career or course toward your interests, motivation often comes naturally.* Advocacy: Don't be afraid to ask for help. Schools often have services for ADHD/autism (like extra test time or an aide). Workplaces may offer flexible scheduling, mentorship programs, or assistive tech. It's legal in many places to request reasonable accommodations once you disclose a diagnosis. Educators and bosses are becoming more aware – sometimes just explaining “I work/learn best this way” can open doors.Practical Coping Strategies (Evidence-Based!)Alright, let's get to action. Based on brain science and countless success stories, here are some practical strategies to manage ADHD and autism day-to-day. You might already do some of these – try mixing and matching to see what helps most you:* Create Flexible Routines: Daily structure reduces stress. This means a consistent morning routine (e.g., wake up, stretch, eat breakfast at the same time) and evening habits (e.g., lay out clothes for tomorrow, bedtime wind-down). For autistic people, routines are comforting; for ADHD, routines reduce the mental load of deciding what to do next. However, keep it flexible – if something changes, it's okay. Think of routines like gentle rails guiding a train, not jail bars.* Use Tools and Timers: Organization apps, planners, or even sticky notes are life-savers. Write to-do lists and check things off. Use phone alarms for appointments (“Lunch time!”) and timers for work sprints (try 25 minutes focus, 5 minutes break, also known as the Pomodoro Technique). Putting reminders of chores where you'll see them (a note on the mirror, an alarm on your phone) helps counteract those memory glitches.* Create a Calming Environment: Pay attention to sensory needs. If you're easily overwhelmed, tidy your space, dim harsh lights, play gentle ambient sound or white noise, or wear noise-canceling headphones. If you have tactile sensitivities, wear soft fabrics and avoid itchy tags. A water bottle, fidget toy, or stress ball can give restless hands something to do. These tweaks let your brain focus on the task instead of extra sensory input.* Move Your Body Regularly: Physical activity isn't just good for health – it helps brains like ours work better. Short walks, stretching breaks, or even dancing to a favorite song can reset your focus and mood. Many people with ADHD find that moving wakes up the prefrontal cortex to get back on track. Exercise also calms anxiety, which can otherwise clog up thinking. Aim for some exercise every day, even if it's just 10 minutes – your brain will thank you.* Practice Mindfulness: This might sound unusual, but techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or guided relaxation can train your attention and reduce stress. It's like going to the gym for your brain. A simple practice: take 3 deep breaths before a meeting starts, or do a quick “body scan” (focus on relaxing each body part) if you feel wound up. Studies show mindfulness can improve focus in ADHD and help autistic people manage anxiety. It's not a magic fix, but over time it builds mental muscle.* Leverage Your Interests: Special interests and hyperfocus can be strengths. Whenever possible, tie your work or study to something you love. For example, if you love sports stats, try to learn math with sports data; if you adore art, find a way to visualize your notes. Also, don't feel guilty about indulging in your interests – they recharge you. Schedule time for that hobby, or use it as a reward (e.g., after finishing a task, allow yourself to play that game or read that sci-fi story).* Connect with Others: Build a support network. Talk to trusted friends or family members about what helps and what doesn't. Join local or online support groups – hearing how others cope can spark ideas. If you have ND kids or students, share stories of successful ND adults. Remember, you have unique experiences worth sharing. Also, communicate your needs: it's okay to say, “I need quiet time” or “Could you repeat that?” in polite ways.* Seek Professional Help When Needed: Therapy and sometimes medication can be game-changers. ADHD medications (like stimulants) are very effective for many, and therapy (like cognitive-behavioral therapy) can teach coping skills. For autism, therapy can include occupational therapy for sensory issues or social skills training. If anxiety or depression is present (common co-conditions), a counselor or support group can help. Don't hesitate to reach out to specialists or doctors who know about neurodiversity. There's no shame in getting expert help – it's evidence-based self-care.* Practice Self-Compassion: This may be the most important strategy. Recognize ADHD and autism as just parts of who you are, not failures or flaws. When you struggle with tasks or make a social mistake, try talking to yourself kindly: “That was tough, and I'm doing my best.” Celebrate wins, even small ones (finished that report? High-five!). Remember the neurodiversity mantra: different wiring is not broken wiring. Embracing your brain can turn frustration into empowerment. There's a growing community out there cheering you on.Bringing It Home: Stories of ProgressEnough theory – let's hear some successes. Across the neurodivergent community, people are thriving using strategies like these:* A teacher rearranged her classroom so students with ADHD and autism could move seats or use quiet corners when needed. She saw their grades and moods improve dramatically. She says just telling the class “Everyone thinks differently” made the kids feel accepted.* An autistic software developer arranged with her company to work mostly from home. By setting her own schedule and customizing her workspace (dim lighting, minimal noise), her productivity soared. Colleagues marveled at her bug-free code – once she had the right environment, her attention to detail became her superpower.* A college student with both ADHD and autism started using campus disability services. Now she gets extra time on exams and a note-taker. She says what felt like “cheating” at first turned out to be “evening the playing field.” With those supports, she's on track to graduate, and finally believes in herself.At every age, from school kids to CEOs, neurodivergent folks find ways to succeed. Maybe this week you'll try a new app or a different work spot, or open up to a friend about your needs. Every small step is progress.Tips for Parents and EducatorsIf you're listening as a parent or teacher, your understanding is huge for a young neurodivergent person. Here are a few tips:* Listen and Validate: When a child with ADHD/autism says a task is overwhelming or noises are too loud, believe them. Say things like “I hear you, that's really tough.” This reduces anxiety and builds trust.* Be Patient with Behavior: Actions like rocking, jumping, or blurting often serve a purpose (to stay calm or engaged). Instead of punishment, find safe outlets: sensory corners in class, extra recess, or quiet fidget toys.* Teach Organizational Skills: Break tasks into steps on a whiteboard. Use visual schedules (drawings or charts) so children can see the plan. Show them how to use checklists and reminders. These executive skills are not innate to all; children often need practice and coaching.* Focus on Strengths: If a student is passionate about dinosaurs, sneak some science or art into the lesson using dinosaurs. A kid who loves building things might enjoy a math puzzle about construction. When learning connects to interests, engagement skyrockets.* Model Acceptance: Use respectful language. Celebrate neurodiversity! If kids see parents and teachers framing ADHD/autism as just part of human variety (not “bad” or “broken”), they'll carry that positive self-image forward.Wrapping Up: You're Not AloneWe've covered a lot: the unique traits of ADHD and autism, where they overlap, how they affect emotions, thinking, social life, and work, plus practical strategies and real stories. If you're neurodivergent, know this: each brain is unique. What works for one person might not work for another, and that's okay. It's an ongoing journey of trial and feedback.Neuroscience and psychology are learning more every year. Brain research, new therapies, and tools are constantly emerging. Keep an eye out for breakthroughs, but also remember this: the lived experience matters most. You might still have rough days – days when your ADHD makes a simple chore feel impossible or your autism makes you need a long sensory break. That's human. Emotions are part of the ride.The key takeaway: ADHD and autism can bring challenges, but they come with strengths too. Many neurodivergent people are kind, creative, focused, and loyal. By using strategies (and yes, even by laughing at the quirks sometimes), you can handle obstacles and make life smoother. Connect with others who understand, advocate for yourself, and give yourself credit for every small win.Thank you for listening. We hope this episode gave you some insight, tools, and maybe even a few laughs. Remember, you are not defined by these labels – understanding them can give you superpowers over obstacles. Stay curious, stay kind to yourself, and keep talking about neurodiversity. See you next time on the podcast!Links:Show Notes: Welcome to today's episode! We're diving deep into ADHD and autism – what makes them unique, where they overlap, and how they shape day-to-day life. We'll mix neuroscience, the latest research, and real-life stories to make it all click. This show is for neurodivergent adults, and also parents and educators who want to really understand what living with ADHD and autism can be like.Imagine sitting in a meeting: the clock ticks, but your mind is racing on a thousand other things. Or being at a loud party and feeling every light and sound press in on you. Those are snippets of how ADHD or autism can feel. For anyone with these conditions (or both), life can be a wild ride of challenges and unique gifts. But you're not alone – there are science-backed ways to cope and even thrive.In recent years, brain science has been uncovering secrets about ADHD and autism. Researchers use brain scans and cognitive tests to see how neurodivergent brains work differently. We won't get lost in jargon, but the gist is this: ADHD often involves lower activity in brain areas that handle focus, planning, and impulse control – think of it like having a very fast car with weak brakes. Autism often involves brain circuits that are finely tuned, noticing patterns and details that others miss, but also picking up sensory inputs very intensely. So, one brain might crave novelty while needing a tight routine, the other might detect every background sound. Knowing this biological side helps make sense of everyday experiences.ADHD: A Brain That Zigs When Others ZagADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, shows up as three main quirks:* Trouble sustaining attention: Daydreaming or being easily distracted, missing details.* Impulsivity: Acting or speaking without thinking it through (like blurting an answer or grabbing the last slice of pizza on a whim).* Hyperactivity: Feeling restless or fidgety, like you have to move even when you're sitting still.Some people call the ADHD brain “a race car with fuzzy brakes.” Neuroscientists tell us ADHD brains often have lower levels of neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, especially in the prefrontal cortex (the area acting like the brain's CEO). That makes it harder to plan, stay organized, or resist impulses. For example, you might forget appointments, interrupt conversations, or feel like you have to pace when sitting.On the flip side, ADHD brains can hyperfocus on things they love. Picture an editor sitting at a cluttered desk. The sound of typing is soothing… until a stray light catches the editor's eye. Suddenly they are deep in a Wikipedia spiral about vintage computers and forget the report due tomorrow. They laugh later: “I meant to write one paragraph and ended up learning about floppy disks for two hours!” Hyperfocus isn't guaranteed, though. Often tasks we have to do feel like a slog, and we procrastinate until the deadline hits. Then, under panic, our brain goes into overdrive – a burst of productivity called “crunch mode.” It's like living with an internal pressure cooker: long periods of low simmer, then sudden high heat to get things done.Emotionally, ADHD can feel like riding a rollercoaster. You might feel frustration or embarrassment about symptoms (like always losing your keys or blurting out something inappropriate). Anxiety and low self-esteem are common too, especially if you've been scolded or misunderstood a lot. But knowing the brain science behind ADHD brings relief: it's not laziness or a character flaw, it's biology. And that matters, because it means there are ways to help and work with your brain.Autism Spectrum: Sensory Worlds and Special InterestsAutism (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is also a brain difference – but it shows up differently. Key traits include:* Social communication differences: Difficulty reading facial expressions, understanding tone of voice, or navigating small talk.* Repetitive behaviors and routines: Craving sameness, following strict routines, or repeating certain movements (like hand-flapping or lining things up).* Sensory sensitivities: Being bothered by loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, scratchy clothing, or certain tastes.Imagine the brain as a radio receiver. In many autistic people, the dial picks up everything at full volume. So a buzzing neon light or a faint background hum can feel overwhelming. Scientists sometimes talk about an imbalance of excitation and inhibition in the autistic brain – in plain terms, sensory signals can all flood in without enough “filter.” This means autistic people notice fine details (that spider web, that slight pattern in wallpaper) but can be easily overloaded by a busy environment.Anecdote: Take Alex, an autistic architect. She describes going to a big family gathering: “The buzzing lights and overlapping conversations felt like waves crashing on me,” Alex says. “I had to step outside and put my headphones on to avoid a meltdown.” This is common: when too many signals hit at once, an autistic person might feel panic, shutdown, or even a meltdown (an intense emotional response). If things calm down, it's like a storm passing – but the confusion and stress can last for hours after.On the plus side, autism often brings intense interests and superb focus on details. That same Alex can spend hours perfecting a building design or spotting the tiniest crack in a wall that others wouldn't see. Many autistic people excel in fields that match their special interests – like science, art, math, or technology – because they're deeply passionate and not easily bored.Socially, autism can look like missed cues. You might overhear, “Why don't you just look people in the eye?” without realizing eye contact might feel painful or distracting. Or you might get puzzled advice like “don't take that literally,” when you really did mean exactly what you said. Brain imaging shows autistic folks often use different brain networks for social processing, so it can feel like navigating a conversation in a foreign language. That's okay! With understanding and support, autistic people often learn communication tricks that work for them.Where They Overlap: AuDHD and Shared TraitsIt turns out ADHD and autism often go together. Research suggests about half of autistic people also meet criteria for ADHD. Some folks even say they have “AuDHD” (autism+ADHD). If you have both, traits can blend in interesting ways. ADHD might add impulsivity and distractibility, while autism adds sensory needs and craving routine.One person described it like this: “My ADHD mind signs me up for more than my autistic brain can deliver at times.” It's a classic tug-of-war: part of you craves structure, part of you craves novelty. Many with both report feeling like a “walking contradiction” – wanting predictability but also getting bored by too much predictability.Shared challenges can include:* Executive function struggles: Both conditions can make organizing tasks, planning ahead, or switching activities hard. It can feel like your brain's to-do list app keeps crashing.* Sensory quirks: While sensory overload is famous in autism, ADHDers can also be sensitive (or sometimes under-sensitive) to sensory input. Both might need fidget toys or headphones to stay comfortable.* Emotional intensity: Both ADHD and autism are linked to higher anxiety, mood swings, or “meltdowns.” The brain chemistry and life stressors (feeling different, facing stigma) both play a role.* Trouble with transitions: Starting or stopping tasks can be super hard. You might think you can drop one activity and switch to another on cue, but often it feels like a gradual drift or a sudden jolt instead.Think of having both as juggling snowballs in a windstorm. For example, imagine someone with both ADHD and autism. They love a morning routine of coffee and crosswords, but if they miss that coffee (coffee catastrophe!), their ADHD brain causes a frantic search for the mug while their autism makes every change feel like a crash. If they try a new latte shop (novelty alert!), the ADHD part is excited but the autism part panics over the unpredictable ordering system. It's tricky.However, there are strengths too. Many people with AuDHD report creativity and unique problem-solving. They often see details and big patterns at once. For example, they might notice a statistic (detail) and also have a wild new idea (big picture) about it. The key is managing the quirks to let those superpowers shine.Daily Life Impact: Emotions, Thinking, Social, and WorkLiving with ADHD and/or autism can color every part of life. Let's break down some common areas:EmotionallyLiving with ADHD or autism can feel like having an emotional accelerator and brake pedal that sometimes fail. You might swing quickly from excitement to frustration. Frustration and anxiety often come from feeling misunderstood or not in control. Little surprises (a canceling a plan, a sudden noise) can trigger big reactions. If you've been punished for symptoms out of your control, you might have long-standing low self-esteem. Remember: getting emotional about these challenges is normal. It helps to remind yourself that meltdowns or outbursts are signals — your brain's way of saying it needs a break or some support, not proof that you're failing. After the episode, self-care and a bit of self-compassion (“That was tough, but I survived”) can help you recover and learn.Many neurodivergent people use humor as a lifesaver. Joking about “my ADHD brain is like a puppy on espresso” or “my daily meltdown wardrobe” can help talk about tough stuff more easily. Sometimes laughing at ourselves (gently, not harshly) reminds us that everyone has quirks.CognitivelyNeurodivergent minds often have a unique thinking style — like a maze and a playground at once. Here are a few common cognitive features:* Attention: ADHD means your attention is selective. You might ignore something boring (like scrolling through your phone in a dull lecture) and yet get laser-focused on something else (like planning the ultimate pizza toppings). Autism, too, can involve deep focus — on a special interest, that same lecture if it's on your passion topic, or even on everyday details most people miss. In either case, switching gears can be hard. Interrupting deep thought to do something mundane is like a rude alarm clock that nobody asked for.* Memory & Organization: These brains may misplace keys, appointments, or even thoughts. Working memory feels like a leaky bucket — once a distraction hits, stuff goes out. You might set a reminder on your phone, forget about it five minutes later, then panic when the date passes. Or you keep 100 tabs open in your brain, and sometimes one of them quietly closes without telling you. This isn't forgetfulness; it's the brain's attention and memory systems juggling too much.* Processing Speed: Some people think very fast (“see” many thoughts at once), others very slowly, or even seem to “lag” when switching tasks. For example, someone might need extra time to formulate an answer in conversation, even if they could write it perfectly later. Don't mistake a short pause for a problem with intelligence — it's just how the mind processes information.Social LifeNavigating social waters can be bumpy for ADHD and autism, but there are ways to manage. For example:* Social Cues: Autistic folks might miss a sarcastic tone or not get why everyone laughed. ADHD folks might interrupt without meaning to or blurt out irrelevant stuff. Both can accidentally seem “awkward” or “rude” when really they just didn't pick up cues. One trick is to be upfront: it's okay to say, “Hey, I have ADHD/autism, sometimes I need a little extra time or clarity.” Often people are understanding if they know.* Friendships: You might find yourself drifting between friend groups or feeling out of sync. It's common to form one very close friendship rather than a big circle. That's fine! Focus on quality over quantity. Some neurodivergent people prefer one-on-one hangouts or quiet meetups rather than crowded parties.* Support: Having friends or family who “get it” makes a huge difference. Find people (even online) who understand ND humor and vibe. Parents and educators, it helps to show kids or teens examples of famous or everyday people who are thriving with ADHD/autism, so they know they're not alone.Work and SchoolIn jobs and classes, ADHD and autism present both challenges and strengths. Many ND people become A+ in their passion subjects but struggle in areas they find boring or disorganized. The good news is, accommodations can help:* Structure and Environment: If possible, pick a study or work spot with fewer distractions. Use earbuds with soft music to drown out noisy offices. Request a quiet corner, noise-canceling headphones, or flexible deadlines when allowed. Small adjustments (like a fidget tool hidden in your pocket or a standing desk) can help channel hyperactivity or sensory needs.* Time Management: Tools are your friends – planners, calendars, reminder apps. Break big projects into bite-size tasks. For example, don't just have “write paper” on the list; break it into “outline ideas,” “write intro,” etc. This reduces overwhelm and gives you little wins.* Leaning In on Strengths: ND people often excel in roles that align with their brains. An ADHD person might do great in a fast-paced, varied job (like first responder or entrepreneur). An autistic person might shine in coding, design, or research. If you can steer your career or course toward your interests, motivation often comes naturally.* Advocacy: Don't be afraid to ask for help. Schools often have services for ADHD/autism (like extra test time or an aide). Workplaces may offer flexible scheduling, mentorship programs, or assistive tech. It's legal in many places to request reasonable accommodations once you disclose a diagnosis. Educators and bosses are becoming more aware – sometimes just explaining “I work/learn best this way” can open doors.Practical Coping Strategies (Evidence-Based!)Alright, let's get to action. Based on brain science and countless success stories, here are some practical strategies to manage ADHD and autism day-to-day. You might already do some of these – try mixing and matching to see what helps most you:* Create Flexible Routines: Daily structure reduces stress. This means a consistent morning routine (e.g., wake up, stretch, eat breakfast at the same time) and evening habits (e.g., lay out clothes for tomorrow, bedtime wind-down). For autistic people, routines are comforting; for ADHD, routines reduce the mental load of deciding what to do next. However, keep it flexible – if something changes, it's okay. Think of routines like gentle rails guiding a train, not jail bars.* Use Tools and Timers: Organization apps, planners, or even sticky notes are life-savers. Write to-do lists and check things off. Use phone alarms for appointments (“Lunch time!”) and timers for work sprints (try 25 minutes focus, 5 minutes break, also known as the Pomodoro Technique). Putting reminders of chores where you'll see them (a note on the mirror, an alarm on your phone) helps counteract those memory glitches.* Create a Calming Environment: Pay attention to sensory needs. If you're easily overwhelmed, tidy your space, dim harsh lights, play gentle ambient sound or white noise, or wear noise-canceling headphones. If you have tactile sensitivities, wear soft fabrics and avoid itchy tags. A water bottle, fidget toy, or stress ball can give restless hands something to do. These tweaks let your brain focus on the task instead of extra sensory input.* Move Your Body Regularly: Physical activity isn't just good for health – it helps brains like ours work better. Short walks, stretching breaks, or even dancing to a favorite song can reset your focus and mood. Many people with ADHD find that moving wakes up the prefrontal cortex to get back on track. Exercise also calms anxiety, which can otherwise clog up thinking. Aim for some exercise every day, even if it's just 10 minutes – your brain will thank you.* Practice Mindfulness: This might sound unusual, but techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or guided relaxation can train your attention and reduce stress. It's like going to the gym for your brain. A simple practice: take 3 deep breaths before a meeting starts, or do a quick “body scan” (focus on relaxing each body part) if you feel wound up. Studies show mindfulness can improve focus in ADHD and help autistic people manage anxiety. It's not a magic fix, but over time it builds mental muscle.* Leverage Your Interests: Special interests and hyperfocus can be strengths. Whenever possible, tie your work or study to something you love. For example, if you love sports stats, try to learn math with sports data; if you adore art, find a way to visualize your notes. Also, don't feel guilty about indulging in your interests – they recharge you. Schedule time for that hobby, or use it as a reward (e.g., after finishing a task, allow yourself to play that game or read that sci-fi story).* Connect with Others: Build a support network. Talk to trusted friends or family members about what helps and what doesn't. Join local or online support groups – hearing how others cope can spark ideas. If you have ND kids or students, share stories of successful ND adults. Remember, you have unique experiences worth sharing. Also, communicate your needs: it's okay to say, “I need quiet time” or “Could you repeat that?” in polite ways.* Seek Professional Help When Needed: Therapy and sometimes medication can be game-changers. ADHD medications (like stimulants) are very effective for many, and therapy (like cognitive-behavioral therapy) can teach coping skills. For autism, therapy can include occupational therapy for sensory issues or social skills training. If anxiety or depression is present (common co-conditions), a counselor or support group can help. Don't hesitate to reach out to specialists or doctors who know about neurodiversity. There's no shame in getting expert help – it's evidence-based self-care.* Practice Self-Compassion: This may be the most important strategy. Recognize ADHD and autism as just parts of who you are, not failures or flaws. When you struggle with tasks or make a social mistake, try talking to yourself kindly: “That was tough, and I'm doing my best.” Celebrate wins, even small ones (finished that report? High-five!). Remember the neurodiversity mantra: different wiring is not broken wiring. Embracing your brain can turn frustration into empowerment. There's a growing community out there cheering you on.Bringing It Home: Stories of ProgressEnough theory – let's hear some successes. Across the neurodivergent community, people are thriving using strategies like these:* A teacher rearranged her classroom so students with ADHD and autism could move seats or use quiet corners when needed. She saw their grades and moods improve dramatically. She says just telling the class “Everyone thinks differently” made the kids feel accepted.* An autistic software developer arranged with her company to work mostly from home. By setting her own schedule and customizing her workspace (dim lighting, minimal noise), her productivity soared. Colleagues marveled at her bug-free code – once she had the right environment, her attention to detail became her superpower.* A college student with both ADHD and autism started using campus disability services. Now she gets extra time on exams and a note-taker. She says what felt like “cheating” at first turned out to be “evening the playing field.” With those supports, she's on track to graduate, and finally believes in herself.At every age, from school kids to CEOs, neurodivergent folks find ways to succeed. Maybe this week you'll try a new app or a different work spot, or open up to a friend about your needs. Every small step is progress.Tips for Parents and EducatorsIf you're listening as a parent or teacher, your understanding is huge for a young neurodivergent person. Here are a few tips:* Listen and Validate: When a child with ADHD/autism says a task is overwhelming or noises are too loud, believe them. Say things like “I hear you, that's really tough.” This reduces anxiety and builds trust.* Be Patient with Behavior: Actions like rocking, jumping, or blurting often serve a purpose (to stay calm or engaged). Instead of punishment, find safe outlets: sensory corners in class, extra recess, or quiet fidget toys.* Teach Organizational Skills: Break tasks into steps on a whiteboard. Use visual schedules (drawings or charts) so children can see the plan. Show them how to use checklists and reminders. These executive skills are not innate to all; children often need practice and coaching.* Focus on Strengths: If a student is passionate about dinosaurs, sneak some science or art into the lesson using dinosaurs. A kid who loves building things might enjoy a math puzzle about construction. When learning connects to interests, engagement skyrockets.* Model Acceptance: Use respectful language. Celebrate neurodiversity! If kids see parents and teachers framing ADHD/autism as just part of human variety (not “bad” or “broken”), they'll carry that positive self-image forward.Wrapping Up: You're Not AloneWe've covered a lot: the unique traits of ADHD and autism, where they overlap, how they affect emotions, thinking, social life, and work, plus practical strategies and real stories. If you're neurodivergent, know this: each brain is unique. What works for one person might not work for another, and that's okay. It's an ongoing journey of trial and feedback.Neuroscience and psychology are learning more every year. Brain research, new therapies, and tools are constantly emerging. Keep an eye out for breakthroughs, but also remember this: the lived experience matters most. You might still have rough days – days when your ADHD makes a simple chore feel impossible or your autism makes you need a long sensory break. That's human. Emotions are part of the ride.The key takeaway: ADHD and autism can bring challenges, but they come with strengths too. Many neurodivergent people are kind, creative, focused, and loyal. By using strategies (and yes, even by laughing at the quirks sometimes), you can handle obstacles and make life smoother. Connect with others who understand, advocate for yourself, and give yourself credit for every small win.Thank you for listening. We hope this episode gave you some insight, tools, and maybe even a few laughs. Remember, you are not defined by these labels – understanding them can give you superpowers over obstacles. Stay curious, stay kind to yourself, and keep talking about neurodiversity. See you next time on the podcast! Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe

Are there parts of your personality that seem to contradict each other? Do you struggle to set expectations for yourself because your reactions, behavior, or emotions can be unpredictable?This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about how, with ADHD, we can be consistently inconsistent—often showing extreme behaviors that seem to contradict each other. Listen for insights and tips that can help!Related resourcesHow to get motivated with ADHDTimestamps(00:40) Tanica's quote(01:30) ADHDers can often feel full of contradictions(03:32) Common reasons ADHD can make us less consistent(08:42) What can we do to be more reliable going forward?(11:10) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Tips from an ADHD Coach show page on Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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What if thriving with ADHD isn't about fixing yourself—but redesigning your life around what actually works for your brain?In this week's Social Saturdays episode of Beyond Chronic Burnout, I'm joined by ADHD and neurodiversity coach Alexia Hetzel for a powerful, paradigm-shifting conversation on how high-achieving ADHDers can create sustainable success—on their own terms.Based in Luxembourg, Alexia blends research, coaching, and lived experience to help ADHDers (and those who support them) move beyond burnout and into alignment.In this episode, we explore:

When you live with ADHD, you might be used to the mental whirlwind — the dopamine chases, the deadline surges, the exhaustion that follows. But for many, there's a deeper and more insidious battle happening in the background: chronic illness. This week, Pete and Nikki welcome clinical naturopath and passionate advocate Jules Galloway to unpack the tangled web between ADHD, adrenal fatigue, autoimmune conditions, and the gut-brain connection.Drawing from her own experiences with late-diagnosed ADHD and years of working with neurodivergent clients, Jules explains how chronic stress and inflammation can alter the architecture of the brain, and how burnout isn't just a buzzword — it's often a physiological crisis. From cortisol testing and histamine intolerance to why so many ADHDers feel like they're constantly “wired but tired,” this episode brings clarity and compassion to a deeply misunderstood intersection of mental and physical health.Jules also shares practical, empowering strategies for healing — from stabilizing blood sugar with protein-rich meals to reducing inflammation through gut health and sustainable lifestyle changes. It's a conversation full of insight, empathy, and real-world tools for anyone struggling to understand the full-body impact of living with ADHD.Links & NotesJules Galloway's website: julesgalloway.com

Isabelle and David talk 'stimming'-AKA "Self-stimulating behavior": what is this word, where does it come from, and what does it mean to 'stim'? Perhaps spoken of more in the autism community, stimming applies to ADHD also, and can connect to not just how we use sensory inputs as ballasts or balance systems, but also unique indicators of a ADHD culture of our own. David and Isabelle dig deep with some adorable sneezes, more on the ballast systems of ships, and the tail expressions of animals along the way.----David and Isabelle describe how cat and dog tails are completely different in indicating their state. David's cat was so still with just the tip of its tail bobbing back and forth, and David pointed out that that's how you can tell a cat is happy. Which is the exact opposite of how you can tell a dog is happy, with an exuberantly wagging tail. And maybe this relates a little bit to stimming, in that someone might interpret Isabelle's bouncing leg as an indication of one internal state, when actually she is stimming and feeling very calm as she does it. There could be two ADHD camps here: one for dogs, one for cats. Perhaps most ADHDers would align with dogs, as in we tend to vibrate when we're happy. David knows when he's still and quiet he is very alert and something's wrong. Isabelle's dog is currently whining at the door and she is like her dog in that she gives her all her needs and yet she has more needs? Isabelle is curious about internal stimming, like when she ruminates or revisits things in her head to self-stimulated. David talks about this as acting in or acting out, and maybe he's doing some action, or he's thinking or connecting with an internal world. Stimming is thought of as an action, that is repetitive or relieving in some way. Acting in and acting out was something David was naming 20 years ago, but now we use the term “stimming” — and it's doing something to keep your heart rate up. Isabelle did not see it used around ADHD but it does connect, but she sees it a lot around AuDHD — it comes from diagnostic origins, but the function of it is what David describes as exhaust. If his engine is running, there's going to be something going on somewhere. Slowly picking at a nail, feeling the tension of his pants, something to help him regulate his attention—like a ballast. This sends Isabelle off on a tangent about being a tween going to see “Titanic” because she was into boat architecture after seeing documentaries about the Titanic about the ships ballast getting flooded—the idea that you have these big walls that are designed to bring on some water  in order to balance the ship. Isabelle walks around with Trex arms, and it's like she is letting some of the world in and that helps her pick what's coming at her on a sensory level, because she can't really tune out the rest anyway, it's like taking in some stimulation to stay afloat. David describes how other ballasts could be biting down on leather when getting an amputation. If you give your body something to do it can distract it. While Isabelle isa bout to go on a tangent about pain theory, her dog needs to go outside, and so indeed, behavior is communication. Now David sneezes. And it's adorable. And he has to fight the reflex to not say “F you” back, because he has sneezed adorably for a long time now and his friend David C. Would always tease him and so he'd respond lovingly with an “F you!” And so he now needs to describe it all. David then segue ways to a definition of culture. Isabelle studied anthropology and archaeology in college, and remembers a professor saying that you know a culture exists when there is an in-group and an out-group and that culture is a set of adaptations to a human's environment. For example, chimpanzees, they stick a twig in a termite mound and then they eat the termites, and thinking about it archaeologically that a being used a thing to do something that nature did not use it for, so when archaeologists speak of a culture its around distinct patterns of how things were made and the area where people lived in. If we were archaeologists of the future, if we came back to earth, could we notice distinct enough artifacts that would indicate there is some difference in this group? Or we could think of it as a series of adaptations for the environments in which we find ourselves. Referencing the NYTimes article, the parts we can resonate with, ADHD is about so many more things than that. So dysregulating because it's 70% accurately, you just left out so many important details and experts and points—that thing that pains Isabelle is that this article is so long and takes so much energy to digest and is just an aspect of the book. David points out that it states that medicine has diminishing returns, because OF COURSE it doesn't mention that medication is intended to be used with therapy and of course the medication doesn't help you with the self esteem repair or accommodation strategies so in a vacuum you get diminishing returns. Isabelle is so on board and also frustrated that this is coming at a time when the world is extra scary and intense. David names that he thinks we would see signs of ADHD culture--organizing in piles, the sheer volume of fidget spinners, etc. Isabelle agrees, the material culture alone would create an interesting set of indicators that something different is happening in certain households that is unique and also in common with one another.Stimming (aka "Self-Stimulatory Behavior) -originally attributed to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but also occurs in neurodivergent AND neurotypical or allistic (non-autistic) folks. It means repetitive physical movements, sounds, or actions that someone engages in (aka leg bouncing, finger tapping, hand flapping, twirling hair, humming, repeating words, staring, pacing, doodling, playing with fidgets, chewing gum, smelling or touching things..so many stims!).Useful for: so many things! For when your senses are overloaded or your understimulated, can help you focus and concentrate, can be a way to learn about or interact with your environment, or to cope with anxiety, stress, excitement, or big feels.Culture (Source: Oxford Language Dictionary): "the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group." OR, "anthropologically, culture is defined as a complex, shared system of learned beliefs, values, behaviors, and symbols that allows a group of people to understand and interact with the world. It's a dynamic, evolving set of practices and ideas that shape a group's identity and way of life" (from sapiens.org)The notorious NY Times article ("Are we thinking about ADHD all wrong?" by Paul Tough) David and Isabelle are referencingChimpanzees eating termites like a lollipop (AKA chimps having a material culture)Ballast: YES these are compartments designed to be flooded and dispense with water to help balance a ships weight and regulate how buoyant it is in water (how it floats) (see Wikipedia definition of "Ballast Tank" for more) AND superintricate maps and explanations of the...

What even is Substack? And how can an entrepreneur use it to support their marketing efforts?Listen to Sara ramble on about how she uses Substack and why you actually don't need to be jumping on this newest platform.Meet Sara Noel:Sara Noel is a Website Copywriter, Marketing Mentor, Unapologetic Squirrel (aka ADHDer), Champion of Single Moms, World's Loudest Noah Kahan Fan, and the most unfiltered business owner on the Internet. She's the proudest F-bomb-dropping New Englander you'll ever meet, the "queen of over delivering" (according to her students and clients), and she's wicked obsessed with helping business owners learn how to write better website copy.www.betweenthelinescopy.comwww.betweenthelinescopy.com/sprintwww.betweenthelinescopy.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Felly:⁠fellyday.com⁠⁠threads.net/@fellyday

If you've ever felt like your struggles with ADHD make you "less than"—this one's a must-listen.We're diving deep into Shame Resilience Theory (thanks, Brené Brown!) and unpacking why ADHDers are especially vulnerable to toxic shame. Spoiler: It's NOT because you're lazy or broken (even if you've been made to feel that way).✨ We're covering:Why shame thrives in secrecy—and how to stop feeding it.The real reason ADHD tasks feel SO loaded with guilt and moral judgment.How shame travels in families (

In this episode, I'm joined by Carrie Lagerstedt, Professional Home Organiser, Declutter Coach, and fellow ADHDer, to talk about why home organisation is especially challenging for ADHD brains — and how we can make it easier.We dive into:Why ADHDers struggle with clutter & organisation (hello, "out of sight, out of mind")How clutter = a giant visual to-do list that overwhelms our brainsWhy laziness has nothing to do with itADHD-friendly organising strategies you can start using right awayHow to get unstuck when you don't even know where to beginCarrie also shares her personal ADHD story, why she calls herself an “organised person but not a tidy person,” and how she helps busy families, overworked mums, and neurodivergent folks create calm, functional spaces they actually want to be in. Connect with Carrie:

Ever feel like what you're doing isn't “big enough” to matter? This episode will shift that mindset in the best way possible.In this conversation, I'm joined by Chris Thompson, National Vice President of JCI USA, to talk about the Ten Outstanding Young Americans (TOYA) award—and how ordinary people doing meaningful work are being seen, even when it doesn't feel like it.We talk about imposter syndrome, quiet leadership, and how introverts, ADHDers, and everyday changemakers can find their place in movements that truly matter. Chris shares his journey from military service to national leadership, what it takes to stand out in a TOYA nomination, and why representation and inclusion are non-negotiables in modern leadership.Whether you've felt invisible in your efforts or unsure how to step into your power, this episode is full of validation, insight, and encouragement.Ready to feel seen, supported, and maybe even inspired to nominate yourself? Hit play.Learn more about JCI USA and the TOYA program:https://www.jciusa.org/ten-outstanding-young-americansFollow JCI USA on Instagram: https://instagram.com/jciusainstaFollow JCI USA on Facebook: https://facebook.com/jciusa

I am so excited to kick off our themed month of productivity. This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I love talking about how ADHDers can be productive. Here are the links mentioned in the show:Join ADHD Big Brother - the ultimate, award winning ADHD CommunityThe Russell Barkley YouTube Video I mentioned. Very informative!! It tracks with my experience with ADHD. How about you? Skye Waterson of the ADHD Skills Lab podcast has an amazing system of prioritization. You can get it free here.

Why do so many ADHDers struggle with alcohol or addiction? What's really going on beneath the surface—and how do you begin to change it?In this powerful episode, I'm joined by Paulette Crowley—a registered mental health coach, health journalist, and woman in long-term recovery from alcohol addiction. Paulette shares her personal story of living with ADHD, depression, anxiety, and addiction—and how she now lives a full, rich life with what she calls “very manageable mental health conditions.”We dive into:Why ADHD brains are more vulnerable to addiction (dopamine, numbing, social anxiety & more)The isolation and shame that can come with addictionWhat the HALT acronym means and how it can helpWhy addiction isn't a moral failing—and how to start healingThe “layer cake” of mental health & what real recovery looks likeIf you've ever struggled with alcohol, addictive behaviours, or felt ashamed of how you cope—this conversation is for you. Paulette brings wisdom, hope, and practical steps for anyone ready to take the first step.Find Paulette at: www.goodhealthcoach.co.nzInstagramFacebookLinked In

Do you want to know what successful ADHDers are doing right? Dr Tony Lloyd is the CEO of the ADHD Foundation, the largest patient-led ADHD agency in Europe. He has been the driving force in promoting neurodiversity in the UK and campaigned for a neurodiverse paradigm in education, health services, employment and human resource management. He is a co-author of several national reports on ADHD and neurodiversity in the UK and plays an active role in national forums to campaign for changes in policy and the design and delivery of public services. 00:00 Trailer 01:47 What's your mission in regards to ADHD 08:20 How to respond when someone says “Everyone has ADHD these days” 16:42 Tiimo advert 17:54 What are successful ADHDers doing right? 27:56 The psychological effect of being called ‘too sensitive' 31:05 What a "purgatory period" of having no diagnosis does to a Neurodiverse brain 36:12 Masking 44:01 The significance of RSD in the Neurodiverse community 50:55 The ADHD item segment 53:21 The ADHD agony aunt segment 57:01 A letter from the previous guest 59:04 Ned Hallowell Brain Health advert Find Tony on Linkedin

This week I'm talking with Jaye Lin — ADHD podcaster and community builder — who brings a uniquely grounded perspective on what it actually takes to work with our brains instead of constantly trying to outsmart them. I got to know Jaye at the 2024 ADHD Conference in Anaheim, where we met at a party hosted by the Attention Different crew (that's an upcoming podcast with them as well). It was great because I had already been introduced to Jaye through her excellent podcast on Understood.org Tips From an ADHD Coach on the MissUnderstood: ADHD in Women channel. And it turns out she's been a long-time listener of this show, so some great serendipity with us running into each other. Jaye is a former Google Administrative Business Partner, where she co-founded the ADHD-Women@Google employee resource group and became their first ADHD-trained peer coach. She has recently returned to corporate life but is still coaching, advocating and podcasting on the side. In our conversation, Jaye walks us through the concept of the Optimization Trap — a sneaky little loop that many ADHDers fall into where we spend so much time planning and perfecting an idea that we burn out before we ever start. We get into why finishing often matters more than perfecting, the cognitive cost of creative over-planning. We also talk about how optimization shows up in everyday life: at work, in relationships, when packing for a trip, or even when choosing a podcast mic. If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/219 YouTube Channel My Patreon This Episode's Top Tips Optimize for completion, not perfection. Focus on what will get the task done, not the flashiest or most complex version of it. Try setting a timer for the planning phase. If you are having trouble with optimization, try giving yourself a set amount of time, maybe an hour, so you don't get stuck endlessly researching or brainstorming. Be sure to schedule regular reevaluations of your planning. We don't want to get stuck with an outdated plan that we're not really using. Make time by putting it in your calendar to reassess whether your current path is still the one you want to be on.

What happens when two ADHDers realize there's more to the story? In this deeply personal and exploratory episode, Eric is joined by his friend and fellow coach, Portia Jackson Preston, for an honest, vulnerable, and unmasked conversation about discovering—later in life—that they're not just ADHD… they're also autistic. April is Autism Acceptance Month and there's no better time to peel back the layers. Eric and Portia share their parallel journeys of exploring what it means to be AuDHD, how autism was hiding in plain sight for both of them, and how late diagnosis is reshaping their self-understanding, their relationships, their parenting, and their work. Together, they unpack: What unmasking looks like—and feels like—especially when it's not a conscious choice Why self-diagnosis is valid and often necessary How intersecting identities impact recognition and diagnosis The grief and growth that come with seeing your past through a new lens Why autistic burnout hit both of them so hard (and what they're doing now to recover) And how this shift is impacting their businesses, boundaries, and sense of self You'll also hear about how EMDR therapy played a pivotal role in both of their journeys, how the Johari Window concept reframed Eric's understanding of his blind spots, and how reconnecting with their full, authentic selves has allowed for deeper joy—even in the weirdest places (like dancing at a Phish show with hand flaps in full glory). This is the kind of conversation that gives others permission to explore, to question, and to be.