Podcasts about hve

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Best podcasts about hve

Latest podcast episodes about hve

InVinoRadio.TV
1386e émission - Emmanuel Ogereau et Guillaume Dumontet

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2025 21:09


DIMANCHE 01 JUIN 2025Emmanuel Ogereau - Domaine Ogereau (Val de Loire)Le Domaine Ogereau, situé à Saint-Lambert-du-Lattay dans la Vallée de la Loire, est une exploitation viticole familiale dirigée par Vincent et Emmanuel Ogereau. Avec 24 ha répartis sur plusieurs terroirs d'exception, le domaine produit des vins blancs secs et liquoreux à partir de Chenin blanc, ainsi que des vins rouges avec des cépages comme Cabernet Franc et Gamay. Certifié biologique depuis 2019 et en cours de certification biodynamique, il se distingue par son respect du terroir et son savoir-faire authentique.Guillaume Dumontet - Domaine des Fournelles (Beaujolais)Fondé en 1947 par François et Claudine Bernillon, le Domaine, situé à Saint-Lager sur 8 ha, produit des Brouilly, Côte de Brouilly et Beaujolais Villages. Depuis 2015, la relève est assurée par leur fille Mariannick et son mari Guillaume Dumontet, qui ont dynamisé le domaine avec l'essor numérique et l'élargissement de la gamme. Respectueux de l'environnement, le domaine est certifié HVE et en conversion bio, avec une viticulture manuelle et une vinification sur place.Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

InVinoRadio.TV
1383e émission - Vincent Creton et Nicolas Despagne

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2025 21:09


SAMEDI 24 MAI 2025Vincent Creton - Cave de Sancerre (Val de Loire)La Cave de Sancerre, fondée en 1963, réunit des vignerons passionnés autour de 300 ha de vignes pour produire des cuvées de qualité. Engagée en agriculture biologique et certifiée HVE, elle utilise des pratiques innovantes pour respecter l'authenticité du terroir. Chaque année, plus de 1,8 million de bouteilles sont produites, soutenant les viticulteurs locaux.Nicolas Despagne - Vignobles Despagne-Rapin (Bordeaux)Le Domaine Maison Blanche, situé en Montagne Saint-Émilion, cultive 40 ha en Cabernet Franc et Merlot selon des pratiques biodynamiques et biologiques. Certifié Demeter depuis 2013, il privilégie des méthodes naturelles pour préserver la biodiversité et l'authenticité de ses vins. L'engagement du domaine repose sur un respect profond de l'environnement et du terroir.Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Le dossier du jour FB Drôme Ardèche
Comprendre les labels et allégations alimentaires : comment faire la différence entre qualité et marketing ?

Le dossier du jour FB Drôme Ardèche

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2025 29:43


durée : 00:29:43 - A votre service avec Nelly Sorbier et ses experts - Aujourd'hui, les consommateurs sont de plus en plus confrontés à une jungle d'étiquettes et de labels. Que valent réellement les AOP, IGP, Bio, HVE et autres certifications ? Christian Nagearaffe de l' I.N.A.O, Institut National des Appellations d'Origine, nous éclaire.

Electric Company
Electric Company - Episode February 14, 2025

Electric Company

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2025


Playlist: Sly Funk District - SanctifiedBernard Wright - Master RockerDurand Jones & the Indications - WitchooSonic Soul Foundry - Ghetto FunkDElla Reese V Vintage - It's Nice to Hve a Mn A round the HouseMinimatic - Netty Was hereMOby - Run OnAndre3000 - Idlewild Blues

Parlons cheval - Le podcast de l'Institut français du cheval et de l'équitation
Tout savoir sur les maladies : grippe et rhinopneumonie - Marie Delerue

Parlons cheval - Le podcast de l'Institut français du cheval et de l'équitation

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2024 22:09


La grippe et la rhinopneumonie équines sont deux maladies virales très contagieuses responsables de troubles respiratoires mais pas que ... Les herpès-virus de type 1 et 4, responsables de la rhinopneumonie, peuvent également des avortements et des troubles nerveux qui peuvent être graves.Ces deux virus circulent régulièrement dans la population équine française. Des vaccins sont disponibles et leur utilisation permet une protection à l'échelle collective. Marie Delerue, exposera, dans ce podcast, les connaissances actualisées sur ces deux maladies : les symptômes, le diagnostic et la prévention.Pour aller plus loin :• Article équipédia - La grippe équine• Article équipédia - Vaccination : principes et bonnes pratiques• Article équipédia - La rhinopneumodie et les herpesviroses de type 1 et 4• RESPE - Réseau vigiRESPE• Article équipédia - Règlementation vaccinale en France• Vidéo JSIE 2021 - Traitement au valganciclovir des infections à HVE-1• Vidéo JSIE 2023 - Vaccins grippe équine : vers une meilleure protectionSi vous souhaitez en savoir plus sur le sujet, rendez-vous sur notre site internet equipedia.ifce.fr où vous trouverez tous les travaux de nos experts. Vous pouvez aussi nous rejoindre sur notre groupe Facebook équipédia, sciences et innovations équines pour plus de contenus. Pour ne manquer aucun épisode, abonnez-vous, partagez, commentez et n'hésitez pas à laisser 5 étoiles sur Apple Podcasts et Spotify.Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

InVinoRadio.TV
1324e émission - Jean-Valmy Nicolas et Garance Thiénot

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2024 20:48


DIMANCHE 27 OCTOBRE 2024Jean-Valmy Nicolas - Château La Conseillante (Bordeaux)Le prestigieux Château La Conseillante, acquis par la famille Nicolas en 1871, veille sur son vignoble de 12 ha composé de 80 % de merlot et 20 % de cabernet franc. Situé entre Château Pétrus et Cheval Blanc, il bénéficie d'une diversité de sols et est certifié ISO 14001 et HVE 3 depuis 2016. Engagé pour l'environnement, le domaine utilise plus de 80 % de produits biologiques, privilégiant la biodynamie et la phytothérapie.Garance Thiénot - Champagne Thiénot (Champagne)À la croisée de la Côte des Blancs, de la vallée de la Marne et des Montagnes de Reims, Garance et Stanislas Thiénot perpétuent l'héritage de la Maison Thiénot, fondée en 1985 par leur père Alain. Avec un vignoble de 30 ha, ils innovent aujourd'hui avec le projet « 3 », une expérience immersive de 4 900 m², offrant visites guidées, espaces de détente, chambres luxueuses, spa et une suite 5 étoiles. Ce projet permet de découvrir des cuvées d'exception dans un cadre raffiné.Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Red Pill Revolution
Election 2024 Breaking Point: US Military Authorized to Kill Civilians — DHS's New Domestic Terrorism Warning

Red Pill Revolution

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2024 59:19


Roninbasics.com | Protect yourself from the harmful effects of modern technology.  Welcome to The Adams Archive, where we uncover the hidden truths that shape the world you live in. Hosted by Austin Adams, this podcast digs into real government documents, directives, and secretive policies that influence your life in ways most people don't realize. From domestic surveillance to military power, we expose how these institutions quietly expand their control under the guise of "national security" and "public safety."   Summary: At The Adams Archive, we break down complex issues and provide you with the facts that the mainstream avoids. Each episode analyzes real documents and events that expose how governments and corporations work behind the scenes to control narratives and limit your freedoms. With a focus on newly released government directives, we help you understand how these policies affect your everyday life—and what you can do to stay informed. Government Surveillance Explore how government surveillance, particularly through the Patriot Act, has expanded its reach to monitor average citizens. We break down how AI-driven technology and new legislative tactics allow institutions to categorize dissent as "extremism." Learn how speaking your mind could land you on a domestic watchlist. Election 2024: DOD Directive 5240.01 & DHS Homeland Threat Assessment This episode takes an alarming look at the DOD Directive 5240.01, which authorizes the US military to use lethal force on civilians during times of unrest. Alongside the DHS Homeland Threat Assessment 2025, we reveal how these new policies target domestic threats and set the stage for unprecedented government control as the 2024 election approaches. Weaponized Policies We expose how policies designed to protect have been twisted to suppress rights and civil liberties. Learn how new directives allow for military intervention during civil unrest, and how these powers could be used against citizens. This isn't just about national security—it's about control. Tech & Disinformation Discover how AI is used to manipulate information, control global narratives, and spread disinformation. Governments and corporations use these tools to shape public opinion and stifle dissent. We break down the role of emerging technologies in this dangerous new frontier. Call to Action: Don't miss out—subscribe to The Adams Archive today to stay informed on the topics that really matter. Follow us on YouTube, Substack, and social media to dive deeper into each episode. Your support means everything—together, we can uncover the truth behind government policies and safeguard our freedoms. All the Links: Access all our platforms here: https://linktr.ee/theaustinjadams ----more---- Full Transcription   All right, so if we go down to 3. 4e in this document, it talks about the use of deadly force. And it's essentially what you would expect. If there's an imminent danger, or if he or she is not for a moment pointing a weapon at a person, for example. So even if you're not pointing a weapon at them, he or she has a weapon within reach, or is running for cover carrying a weapon,  they can shoot you.  Civilians. So if you're, I don't know,  open carrying,  and they think that you pose any type of threat, they can just shoot you.  Civilians, the military,  during civil unrest, right?  DoD recognizes and respects paramount value of all human life if less than valuable or less than deadly force can be reasonably expected to accomplish the same result without reasonably increasing the danger to armed DoD personnel.  Deadly force is justified when there is a reasonable belief  that the person,  the subject of such force, poses an imminent threat of death or serious bodily harm to a person Or under the circumstances described in the 3. 4e. So essentially what it's saying is  any and all circumstances, if you have a weapon, if you're open carrying, which you have the right to do,  or even if you're concealed carrying and somehow they know that you're holding that weapon or have that weapon in the vicinity of you, they could shoot you if they think that you pose any type of threat,  you know, the laws that were designed to  be weaponized against our enemies.  is now being weaponized against us. So if we go to the document that I'm talking about now, right? So we have those two DoD directives. We understand that. But this is also something I want to point and draw your attention to is, and this is the last thing of this document, then we'll move to the actual National Terrorist Advisory document,  which is the USD and I and S approval. So it says, so this is how they actually get the soldiers. This is the approval process. Um,  if the requested personnel exceeds 20 people,  then you have to But if it's less than 20 armed military soldiers authorized to use deadly force, you don't.  You don't.  Within the United States of America.  Or, if the duration of the requested  assistance exceeds 30 days, so you don't even need approval. If you get 20 soldiers for 29 days,  You don't even need a DOD approval. You don't need to have the Secretary of Defense  approve the request. You can just go right around them. Go to the military. They'll send you 20 soldiers for 29 days. And then you can request it again for another 29 days that are authorized to use lethal force on civilians.  Now let's see who they're concerned about, because that's what the DECCS document talks about, or Concerned about, but who, who they're going to start to say poses a risk, right? Now, this document isn't just about that. This talks about foreign foreign enemies as well, and some election interference from Russia and China and what these people are trying to, this isn't just about American citizens, but a large portion of it is  a large portion of it is.  All right,  let me go ahead and switch this here. So you guys can watch  what I'm looking at.  Not that.  All right. So  here we go. Here's your document.  Now, if you're on YouTube, you can follow along and actually look at this with us.  Uh, let's make that a little bit bigger for you.  Okay,  here we go.  Here is the document office of intelligence  and analysis,  Homeland threat assessment, Homeland security 2025. All right. So here is your table of contents talks about the border talks. There's the executive summary.  Um, but let's go down and look  at some of the stuff that I have outlined here. Um, now if you want this document, I'll send it to you. Uh, head over to my Instagram, I'll be posting some videos of this.  And there'll be a keyword that you can comment that I'll send you both of these.  You can also just look up the name of the document on Google and find it yourself, but yeah.  Alright, so it says public safety and security. Alright, this is page one.  It says over the next year, domestic and foreign violent extremists, the harmful effects of illegal drugs in adversarial states, seek to exacerbate our divisions, as well as silence criticism for diaspora communities, will pose a threat to public safety and security on the homeland. Specifically, we expect the threat of, threat environment in the United States over the next year will remain high due to a confluence of factors. These factors include violent extremist responses to domestic, socio political developments, and the 2024 election cycle.  Concurrently, adversarial states are Intent on sowing distrust in our institutions, as well as confusion and division in our communities through their maligned influence campaigns, with some actors seeking to boost these efforts during the 2024 election cycle.  These state actors will violate our rule of law and undermine freedom of speech in their efforts to suppress dissidents living in the United States.  So what, what it's, What the conversation is that they're having there is like, Oh, it's these violent extremists. It's these foreign adversaries. It's these terrorists out there. And over here,  terrorists that are sowing dis sowing, uh, distrust in our institutions. No.  No, you know, what's sowing distrust in our institutions, the lying  that's happened over the last four years, you know, what's sowing distrust in our institutions, the continued corruption, and the continued crossover between corporatism and politics, you know, you know, what's sowing distrust in our system, how almost every single one of the high level people in our our government right now are going to find themselves a high level executive position at the organizations that funded them, whether they're foreign or international. Or domestic to use their terms,  right? They're going to, their son's going to be on the Chinese energy board or Ukrainian oil board. Oh yeah. Look at Biden and Pelosi and all of these, these individuals who are powerful, powerful people in our government who have their children on the boards of foreign companies that are state run companies.  By our adversaries. Maybe that's what's destroying this, this, this sowing distrust in the institutions. Maybe it's your lack of response to the  terrible situations that it happened in Lahaina or in North Carolina or in Florida.  Maybe it's your lack of care surrounding the inflation that's happening. Maybe it's one of those things. Maybe that's what's sowing distrust is that you're distrustful.  Not the fact that foreign and domestic violent extremists have thoughts on political ideologies.  So  there's that summary. Let's move on.  Um, so it says that, uh, and actually we should probably go to the bottom here because what, one thing that I found to be unique in this document is that they, in the national advisory, the national terrorist advisory bulletins, they used to say the full words.  What you'll find in this document is they use all of these acronyms to try and make it so that you can't screenshot this and post it without context. So, So what you'll see is there's these DVE, the HVEs, the FTOs, the,  all of these specific  acronyms. So I'm going to show you first what those acronyms mean, and then we'll go back to the portion that I just had up there for you.  And here they are. Okay. Definitions and contextual notes. An FTO is a forest, uh, forest, is a foreign terrorist or terrorist organization. So FTO, foreign terrorists.  DVE.  Domestic violent extremist. Okay. So let's look at the definition of that, which it says is an individual. So a domestic violent extremist, a DVE is an individual based and operating primarily within the United States or its territories without direction or inspiration  from a foreign domestic or foreign terrorist group or other foreign power who seeks to further political or social goals wholly, or in part through unethical law or unethical acts, unlawful acts. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. Early in the morning, unlawful acts of force or violence, the mere advocacy of political and social positions, political activism, or use of strong language and rhetoric or generalized philosophic embrace of violent tactics alone does not constitute violent extremism. It may be constitutionally productive, maybe. Oh, you don't you think that the advocacy of political and social positions or political activism or use of strong rhetoric.  Yeah, that is absolutely protected under the Constitution.  Maybe constitutionally protected. DVEs can fit within one or multiple categories of ideological motivation and can span a broad range of groups or movements.  INA.  Utilizes this term synonymously with domestic terrorist.  So your, the mere advocacy may be constitutionally protected, but we're still going to label you as a violent extremist, and they may still use the word domestic terrorist.  So, this is important when we go back and we look at the conversations that we're having. Now, when we look at HVE, HVE is homegrown violent extremist. It's a person with, of any citizenship who has lived or operated primarily in the United States or its territories who advocates, is engaged in, or is preparing to engage in ideologically motivated terrorist activities, including providing support to terrorism. In furtherance, Of political or social objectives promoted by a foreign terrorist organization. Um,  but is acting independently of direction by a foreign terrorist organization.  HVS are distinct from traditional domestic terrorists who engage in unlawful acts of violence to intimidate civilian populations or attempt to influence domestic policy without direction or influence from a foreign act.  Okay. So they're saying these people have opinions, right? They haven't the word violent violence. is not in any of these things. Like there's, um, who engage in unlawful acts of violence to intimidate civilian populations. Okay. So there's one mention of violence  throughout that entire definition. You do not have to be violent. You do not have to be extremist. You have to hold an ideology that they don't like, which may be constitutionally protected to fall into one of these two categories.  Now it also defines, it also defines conspiracy theorist.  Or a conspiracy theory.  So Homeland Security defines a conspiracy theory, which is defined as a subset of narratives in which the ultimate cause of an event is believed to be due to a malevolent plot by multiple actors working together or as an effort  to explain some event or practice by reference to the event. To the mechanizations of powerful people who attempt to conceal their role, or at least until their aims are accomplished as per the national counterterrorism innovation technology and education center, a DHS center of excellence. DHS does not hold a position on the veracity of the claims associated with these theories.  So what they're saying is if you believe. There's any number of group of people who is trying to conceal their identity  that has worked together to cause an event that is a conspiracy theory.  And we can write you off and we can put you into a document where we can now put you on a list.  Crazy. This is their definition of a conspiracy theory. So if you hold the belief that any number of people, three, four, five powerful people  did anything to cause an event  and then tried to conceal their position during that event, which has happened multiple  Always, forever, in history, in every event,  then you are now considered a citizen. A conspiracy theorist.  And now that becomes important, right? This isn't just conspiracy theory in your bio, right?  Uh, this is important because then they can utilize this document and say, here's how we're going to weaponize the department of justice against you.  So now that we have that background, let's go back up to the document.  All right. So.  Terrorism.  So it says that foreign, so there's some foreign stuff or some domestic stuff. I'm just going to walk you through line by line in the document. Um, some of the foreign stuff, it says foreign terrorist organization inspired homegrown violent extremists. So inspired by terrorists, but homegrown will remain high,  right? So homegrown violent extremists. The threat will continue to be characterized primarily by lone offenders or small cells motivated to violence by a combination of racial, religious, gender,  or anti government grievances, conspiracy theorists, and personalized factors. We are particularly concerned about the likelihood of violent motivation by developing domestic and global events,  including the 2024 election cycle and the ongoing Israel Hamas conflict. So what you have to notice there is when they say conspiracy theorists. And then they say the election cycle, right? If you say anything about the election, not being fair.  not being right, not being accurate,  you can now be a labeled a homegrown violent extremist, because that can be tied to some bigger plot, even if you have no violent actions,  because what you have to understand about the document and why this document is important is because what they're essentially establishing is the ground rules for their organization,  the ground rules for if you say this, right, if you say this thing,  if you say this,  We think you're going to this. So we're going to do this, right? If you do, if you think they're say this,  we think that you're going to do this. And so we can do all of this to stop you, even though you didn't do any of it yet,  preemptively or reasonable belief, right?  Words are important.  So when you understand that they're, they can use any, anything within their power, if they can  Label you as this DVE or HVE, the Domestic Violent Extremist, or Homegrown Violent Extremist. The second that you say anything about one of these things, right? Global events, like the election cycle, right? Talking about things like conspiracy theorists, where people plot to do bad things, like they always have.  gender ideology, racial,  political, right? I like how they include gender in there. Like, oh, okay, let's use the Department of Justice and lethal force to protect the trans people because their sexual kinks want them to dress up.  All right.  Moving on, a number of violent extremists embrace multiple, sometimes competing motivations, challenging our ability to identify their political, their potential targets in advance because their pre attack statements online are often unrelated or only loosely related to the targets they ultimately choose. So what they're saying there is  If you're say anything about anything that we don't like, we can then correlate it back to this entire list of things and say that, oh, because you say you don't agree with women in men's sports, you're now going to enact in a terrorist attack on Jewish populations,  right? So if this, then this, so we can this. Right? If you say something about gender ideology, we believe that you fall into this potential category to do some Jewish violent, or attack on, violent attack on Jewish groups. So we can then do all of this in between to surveil you.  It says, Between September 23 and September 24, or July 2024, DVEs driven by anti government, racial, or gender related motivations have conducted at least four attacks in the homeland, one of which resulted in a death. Like, do you know how much government overreach we're getting for one death here?  Between September and July  one death, and they're going to weaponize.  The Department of Defense,  U. S. law enforcement at least disrupted seven additional DVE plots, two HVE plots, and again, I'm not saying that this stuff doesn't happen, I'm not saying that they shouldn't exist, I'm not saying that they shouldn't be able to  maybe not even surveil people domestically, right, that wasn't what was supposed to be allowed until the Patriot Act, I'm not saying that they shouldn't  be able to do their job though, and their job is to figure out where is a terrorist attack going to come from, and there has been domestic terrorist attacks. I'm  Most of the domestic terrorist attacks have been against Donald Trump.  not against  literally any other government official.  So unless they're speaking about, Oh, if you know, I highly doubt they're using this to surveil liberals with blue hair at, you know, some furry event. No, it's, it's being weaponized against the right.  But again, they have to be able to do their job. I'm sure there are, you know, there's been like the Boston bombing and there's been other historical events that I would love for these people to stop and and nothing against these people if they're surveilling me right now for talking about furries,  but like I know you got to do your job. I know people who have been in positions in these organizations,  and I appreciate what you do,  but when it's weaponized against the American people  for nothing other than posing a political posting a political opinion online.  So that you can utilize these overreaching government tools  to then surveil their private life that is not constitutional,  right? The Patriot Act is not constitutional.  And now this type of document allows you to overreach beyond what should be allowed  for, for a complete Orwellian government. State of government.  So if you say anything about this category of things, a list of probably 100 words that they have in the Department of Defense and Homeland Security, if you say any word like this, it triggers AI to pick up your profile. And now they have you on a list somewhere. And now they can use the Patriot Act to listen into your phone microphone and use AI to scrape your conversations and search your conversations for any of the jokes that you make with your wife in private.  It shouldn't be a lot,  right? You should still be able to do your job. And I think you can still do your job by monitoring it. with a sniper rifle and not an RPG, right? Or a nuke, essentially, right? You don't need to monitor millions and millions and millions of Americans to find the one that's sitting there posting online talking about how they want to  enact some violent act on a school or shoot up some mosque, right? Like, You don't need all of that. You don't need that power to do that.  Now, let's look at some other portions here.  As we move down this document.  The next portion I'd like to point out is biological. So this is just interesting to me over the last year foreign and domestic extremists online expressed interest in using DNA modification. So okay, so so I've heard this one several times recently, this is a very recent event. And this is something that I've talked about before, when you've used 23 and me,  you are giving your DNA to a entity that will then sell that data to foreign and domestic.  Governments  or companies like BlackRock, right? Now what they can do with that DNA, the technology has been devised. Iran has tried this. China has tried this. There's evidence there. There's been, uh, I was listening to a Senator yesterday talk about on the Sean Ryan podcast, how China has been trying to develop a biological weapon that only attacks  childbearing age individuals.  So here's another example of that in this document where it says, We expect threat actors to continue to explore emerging and advanced technologies to aid their efforts in developing and carrying out chemical and biological attacks. Over the last year, this document says, Foreign and domestic extremists online expressed interest in using DNA modification to develop biological weapons to target specific individuals.  So if you want women between the age of this and this, if you want certain ethnic minorities, if you want certain or majorities, you want a certain gender, you want a certain age group, you want a certain background, whatever it is, you can splice DNA down and see, Hey, I want this new COVID quote unquote, but much more deadly to attack men who are fighting age between the ages of 18 and 45  decimate the men between 15 to 45.  They can do that. And that's what this document is outlining here. So when you're giving your DNA to these organizations, they can even target it down to the individual,  right? They could release some massive flu virus,  and they want to target 15 DNA strands  and have it be lethal against, A hundred people, 150 people, they can manipulate that  virus to do that.  It also says, we also remain concerned about the potential for threat actors to use unmanned aircraft systems in chemical and biological attacks due to the continued advancement of UAS technology and the growing availability of UAS. So saying that people are going to use drones to drop these types of things.  All right, now it moves into influence operations and transnational repression.  All right, so Russia will likely continue to use traditional state sponsored media. For example, over the past year, Russian influence actors have amplified stories regarding U. S. migration flows to stoke discord in the United States. Like no,  that wasn't Russia, that was you. Like maybe this should be talking about how the Harris and Biden campaign let in 22 million illegals.  Maybe we should be talking about that being the reason that these stories are amplified, not Russia.  We should be having that conversation. You shouldn't be mad at the messenger, right? Even if they're amplifying those conversations, be like, Hey, look at how  ridiculous the United States is for letting in all of these terrorists. We're not going to do that.  It's just funny that to me that they want to point out these foreign countries acting like, Oh, we didn't do anything wrong. It's because they, they said it. They're mad. They're just trying to make you mad at us. It's like playing the, the, you know, your parents are divorced, right? Your parents are divorced. And one parent's like, Hey,  you know, like mom, mom won't let me, you know, I don't know where I'm going with that, but you see the point  you get the idea. It's not Russia's fault that you let in 22 million illegals. It's your fault,  and they just pointed it out, so maybe, just don't do that.  This is over the last year, Iranian information operations have focused on weakening U. S. public support of Israel and Israel's response to Iranian information operations have focused on weakening U. S. public support of Israel and Israel's response to October 7, 2023 Hamas attacks. These efforts have included leveraging ongoing protests regarding the conflict, posing as online protests.  And encouraging protests prior to the 2020 U. S. presidential election, Iran attempted to amplify divisive narratives to incite violence, influence the U. S. electorate and degrade trust in electoral processes. And like, yeah, for sure. They're probably doing that. And so is Israel,  right? Go check out AIPAC. Maybe we should be talking about AIPAC in here and their influence on, on domestic senators and congressmen and.  Presidents, dare I say.  Uh, another one that I found to be interesting here was that they talk about the People's Republic of China and their disinformation campaigns. Hmm. And it says that they seek to exploit U. S. disasters. So the U. S. Homeland Security is saying that China's the reason  China is exploiting U. S. disasters just as it did when it blamed Hawaii wildfires on U. S. military activity and may also reduce trust in the U. S. institutions and officials and dissuade survivors to pursue legal recovery or federal recovery response and support. Yeah. I don't think that it was  just China. China. Pointing out that direct energy weapons are real and could have been the result of, or could have resulted in Lahaina.  I don't think it's just China pointing out that we have weather modification, that there's literal patents on Google that you can search on all of this technology. Like,  again, stop trying to blame the foreign entity for something that isn't real.  is very real and a possibility.  It also says the Department of Justice indicted seven Chinese based Chinese nationals for their involvement in a PRC backed criminal hacking group targeting U. S. based critics, businesses, and political officials in malicious cyber operations intended to intimidate and silence dissidents and steal from their businesses.  All right, uh, moving on.  Okay, so this is probably the most interesting part of this here. And this talks about threat is likely to focus on the election cycle, right? This is all about the election.  Now, some of the most interesting parts of this, I'll read through for you that I highlighted. Again, if you want this document, as I highlighted it and all of my annotations, you can just head over to my Instagram. Once this is posted, you'll be able to request it from my comment section. All right. So one of the first things here is that, uh, let's just read it from the top so we can get into this better. Part of the paragraph, our electoral processes are an attractive target for threat actors, and we expect many will seek to influence the 2024 election cycle. While some others may seek to access or interfere with election systems, while law enforcement is still investigating their motives behind the apparent assassination attempts on a former US president. These incidents highlight the magnitude of the threat surrounding the election cycle.  Now, here we go. Some Domestic violence, some domestic violent extremists, particularly those voted motivated by anti government or partisan issues will likely view a wide range of targets  indirectly and directly associated with elections as viable targets for violence with the intent of instilling fear among voters, candidates, and election workers. What would be the means to that? Like what would be the end there? Why would they do that? Why, if you're an anti government or  if you're motivated by partisan issues. Well, that's the more important one, right? Anti government or partisan issues, right? If you're anti government, we can now  say that, Oh, you're probably going to attack polling areas, right? You're probably going to go to the local  polling area and, and bomb them or whatever, right? You're probably going to do that if you're anti government.  Like,  no.  No, I think you're just bad at your job, in that  federalism is generally not helpful, and all it's done is caused a bloated taxation system and leached from American citizens and given all of our money to foreign entities to fight wars that we shouldn't be in.  That's why I'm anti government, and I'm not going to attack anybody as a result. But just because I state that opinion, they can now put me on a list to then say that, oh, I'm going to go attack a polling area. Like,  so stupid. Uh, some DVEs, particularly those motivated by anti government or partisan issues, will likely view a wide, okay, we just said that, um,  instilling fear among voters, candidates, and election workers, as well as disrupting election processes leading up to or after the November election. So leading up to, And after like, we're not putting any end to this, right? There's no cycle here. We're like, maybe for the next three to four months, we should be highly focusing on people who say that the government's bad at their job,  or doesn't have the right motivations.  Nope,  door after  foreign state affiliated cyber to actors and cyber criminals, almost certainly. So this is this one I found really interesting too, because they point out the fact that people are going to try to, like state affiliated cyber actors and cyber criminals, and they're  are most likely going to try to change votes using technology, hack into the voting systems, and change votes. But then they say something which I find to be hilarious here too. So foreign state affiliated cyber actors and cyber criminals almost certainly will view network infrastructure that supports US elections as attractive targets. However,  there was no reporting to suggest that foreign adversary targets of such systems have ever prevented any eligible voter from casting a ballot.  Compromise the integrity of any ballots, cast or disrupted the ability to tabulate votes or transmit election results in a timely manner,  right? So they're definitely going to target.  These polling stations. They're definitely going to try to hack in and change votes, but there's no evidence ever that that's ever occurred ever to anyone ever. We promise,  right?  So what they're stating there is like, again, laying the groundwork. They're saying that  almost certainly,  almost certainly  will target  the network infrastructure that supports elections to try and change votes, but then they follow that up with There was no reporting, however, to suggest that foreign adversary targeting of such systems has ever prevented any eligible voter ever from casting a ballot, or compromise the integrity of the, because if they say, this has happened, we know what's happened, they've changed votes, we know they've changed votes,  then what? Right? Like, then what? Then we know the election system is compromised, and they can't say that, but what they can say is that we know for certain  They're going to target this and try to hack into it and try to change votes.  But there's no evidence ever that it's ever happened ever, right? But almost certainly they're going to try to do it.  Found that one to be interesting.  All right, moving on. It says, in particular, anti government, anti authority DVEs, many of whom likely will be inspired by partisan policy grievances or conspiracy theories will pose the most significant threat. So this is under the guise. So it says we expect the DVEs to post the most significant threat to government officials, voters, elections related personnel and infrastructure, including polling places. So ballot dropbox locations, voter registration sites, campaign events, political party offices, and vote counting sites in particular anti government. Like if you're anti government, you're not trying to stop people from voting. You're not trying to  blow up a,  a dropbox for voted, you know, like for votes.  You're not.  You're just not participating. I'm not playing this game. The game's stupid. It's, it's all rigged, right?  But again, they have to throw that in there. So if you believe that people conspire, right, conspiracy theories, or you believe that the government's not good at what they do, and this may be too large,  Any one of those things, you pose the most significant threat.  We have also recently observed a rise in disruptive tactics, targeting election officials, like those observed in past election cycles, including hoax, bomb threats, swatting, doxing, and mailing  white powder letters, intended to instill fear. Like I'm not saying that doesn't happen. I'm sure that does happen. I'm sure there's some pieces of shit that will try to, I don't know, intimidate voters not to vote,  whatever.  But the fact that they're calling out anybody who believes that a small or large group will conspire and conceal their identity. To do something that you wouldn't want them to do as the American public.  Now you're a conspiracy theorist. And if you believe the government is bad at what they do. If you've heard my bowling alley story when I was in the military, they are generally bad at what they do. Uh, you know, and I've heard this too, do you know who's not bad at what they do? The intelligence agencies. They're the ones who hire the Harvard graduates and Oxford alumni and MIT this and all those are, they come off as very stupid when they put out those secret service agents that looked like they did when Trump was there. But that was on purpose.  Right, the people that are actually in the Department of Defense, at the highest levels of these three letter agencies, they're not unintelligent. They're not ignorant. They're not stupid.  Right?  But,  most of the government is. Right. It's not all the DMV, but a lot of it's the DMV,  uh, online users and forms frequently frequented by some DVS have increasingly called for violence linked to the 2024 election cycle and seek to promote violence  in response to politically and socially disruptive topics like immigration, abortion rights, and LGBTQIA issues or significant current events.  Let's talk about that one.    

InVinoRadio.TV
1320e émission - Marina Iseppi et Edouard de Bailliencourt

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2024 20:58


DIMANCHE 13 OCTOBRE 2024Marina Iseppi - Domaine Labastidum (Sud-Ouest)La famille Iseppi, vigneronne depuis le XVème siècle en Italie, a connu un tournant en 1952 en rejoignant l'Appellation Fronton en Tarn-et-Garonne. En 2019, la septième génération prend la direction du Domaine Labastidum, choisissant une culture biologique sur un vignoble certifié HVE niveau 3. Situé dans le Sud-Ouest, le domaine s'étend sur 55 hectares, dont 5 hectares vinifiés sur place, le reste étant destiné à une cave coopérative.Edouard de Bailliencourt - Château Gazin (Bordeaux)À Pomerol, Edouard et Elise de Baillencourt continuent de faire vivre un vignoble historique, acquis par leur ancêtre Louis Soualle au début du XXe siècle. Ils pratiquent des vendanges manuelles, avec une production allant jusqu'à 100 000 bouteilles par an, dont 86 % sont exportées. En plus de leur célèbre « Château Gazin », ils proposent le second vin « l'Hospitalet de Gazin », lancé en 1986, pour initier les amateurs à leur savoir-faire viticole.Hébergé par Ausha. Visitez ausha.co/politique-de-confidentialite pour plus d'informations.

Dritte Halbzeit
Dritte Halbzeit 306: Bundesliga starter igjen!

Dritte Halbzeit

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2024 73:03


2024/25-sesongen sparkes i gang denne uken! DHZ-redaksjonen tipper Bundesliga-mestere. Eivind, Runar og Asbjørn spår også nedrykkene til Superligaen. Ekspert Eivind kårer sommerens råeste overganger. Hve er 18-åringen som kommer fra Schalke for å spille med Antonio Nusa i RB Leipzig? En lytter gir litteraturtips, hvor Dortmund spiller mot Jhertha på Zum Hecht. Manuel Riemann saksøker Bochum. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Plus bio la vie
Nutri-Score, Cosmébio, Label Rouge, AOP... Que signifient vraiment ces labels?

Plus bio la vie

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2024 25:12


Dans les rayons des supermarchés, les emballages de nos produits alimentaires ou d'hygiène sont surchargés d'informations: Nutri-Score, Cosmébio, Label Rouge, AOC, AOP, IGP, cruelty free, vegan, 100% naturel, HVE, Origine France, éthique…Entre les allégations fantaisistes des industriels, les labels indépendants, les certifications européennes et les applis comme Yuka, Open Food Facts ou INCI, difficile de s'y retrouver dans la jungle de la notation des produits.Alors, comment rendre plus cohérentes, lisibles et transparentes ces informations? Qui se cache derrière certains labels? Comment fonctionne le Nutri-Score et quelles sont ses limites?Dans ce treizième épisode de Plus bio la vie, Nora Bouazzouni accueille Julia Terpman-Pérot, responsable plaidoyer, partenariats et coopérations pour Planet Score, ainsi qu'Emmanuelle Joye, chargée de recherche et développement chez Biocoop.Musique: «May the chord be with you», Computer Music All-stars

Spegillinn
Þýðing nýrra miðla í kosningabaráttu, fjölgun fanga í gæsluvarðhaldi og stuðningur við hinsegin börn

Spegillinn

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2024 20:00


Hve mikinn þátt í sigri Höllu Tómasdóttur átti sókn hennar á nýjum miðlum þar sem sérstaklega var höfðað til yngri kjósenda? Breytingar á íslensku samfélagi endurspeglast í fangelsum landsins, í fyrra sættu 242 frá 40 löndum gæsluvarðhaldi og hafa aldrei verið fleiri. Fangelsismálastjóri segir þróun samfélagsins endurspeglast í fangelsunum og það þarf að hlúa betur að hinsegin nemendum í smærri byggðum landsins segja talsmenn Hinsegin lífsgæða.

Wine for Normal People
Ep 518: Biodynamic, Organic, Sustainable, Regenerative Wine (and more) -- the Update

Wine for Normal People

Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2024 50:21


These categories of "better for the earth" wines are technical, tricky, and ever-evolving, so I it was time to do an update! In this show, I do best to break it all down in as simple a way as possible…I cover:BiodynamicsOrganicsSustainable farmingRegenerative agricultureAnd quickly, the loose ends – vegan wine, natural wine______________________________________ BiodynamicI discuss the main principles of biodynamic agriculture – that the farm is a single, self-sustaining organism and the farmer must encourage and guide the vines, as well as protect the soil so provides nourishment for the vines. ​The main certification for biodynamics is DEMETER.  _________________________________OrganicOrganic farming is how farming was always done until the industrial revolution. The new iteration grew out of the biodynamic movement in the 1920s. This method took off in the 1970s and 80s, especially in Europe.Different countries have different definitions of organic…European Union Organic Products/”Bio” in France: Organic wine prohibits most synthetic chemicals or GMOs and uses only certified organic oenological products in the cellar, including organic yeast. Sulfites are regulated. United States. This is a program developed by the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA). There are prohibitions on the vineyard and the winery, and added sulfites are prohibited. Because of this last prohibition, certified organic vineyards go in and out of the organic certificatioTo make it more flexible, they added the “Made with Organic Grapes” stipulation, which is looser _________________________________________________________ Regenerative Organic AgricultureAlthough relatively new, this is likely the future of better for the earth initiatives. Regenerative starts out with the principles of organic but then adds a few other things. Watch this space…  _________________________________________________________  Sustainable Winegrowing This is the most popular way to do better for the earth viticulture but it's squishy. Sustainable is a catchall term that has MANY definitions. Examples of certifications: France…HVE: The French Ministry of Agriculture developed the Haute Valeur EnvironementaleOthers...Vignerons EngagesViticulture Durable en ChampagneTerra Vitis California: Certified California Sustainable Winegrowing I end with a quick tour of Natural wine and Vegan winesFull show notes and all back episodes are on Patreon. Become a member today!_______________________________________________________________Wine Access has an amazing selection — once you get hooked on their wines, they will be your go-to! Make sure you join the Wine Access-Wine For Normal People wine club in time for the next shipment. As a limited time offer, get $25 off your first TWO shipments of our club!To register for an AWESOME, LIVE WFNP class with Elizabeth or get a class gift certificate for the wine lover in your life go to: http://www.winefornormalpeople.com/classes Get the back catalog on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Méta de Choc
Écologie et ésotérisme — STREAM #14

Méta de Choc

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2024 125:10


En janvier dernier, j'ai échangé avec Claire Schweitzer, écologiste, élue à l'opposition du conseil municipal d'Angers et conseillère régionale NUPES, sur la manière dont les croyances spirituelles New Age pénètrent le champ de l'écologie politique ; au niveau des grands partis nationaux et européens, comme au niveau local, en particulier en Anjou où les vins biodynamiques ont su faire leur place.Pas de langue de bois dans cette conversation ; on y parle pêle-mêle de Jean-Luc Mélenchon, Europe Écologie Les Verts, Jean-Marc Jancovici, Pierre Rabhi et d'écologisme de droite… le tout saupoudré de développement personnel, de féminin sacré, de potions magiques, de dérives sectaires et d'écofascisme !L'événement a été filmé, la vidéo est ici : https://youtu.be/_2pc4m5q2s4Vous pouvez aussi le retrouver en podcast sur les applis audio, bien sûr.•• SOUTENIR ••Méta de Choc est gratuit, indépendant et sans publicité. Vous pouvez vous aussi le soutenir en faisant un don ponctuel ou mensuel : https://soutenir.metadechoc.fr/.•• RESSOURCES ••Toutes les références en lien avec cette émission sont sur le site Méta de Choc : https://metadechoc.fr/podcast/ecologie-et-esoterisme/•• SUIVRE ••Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, Bluesky, Mastodon, Threads, PeerTube, YouTube.•• TIMECODES ••02:17 : Introduction : définition de l'écologisme, présentation de Claire Schweitzer et Élisabeth Feytit.05:19 : Une brève histoire de l'ésotérisme New Age : éveil spirituel, Loi de l'attraction, énergies.07:00 : Que faire face à des dérives sectaires ? Identifier une dérive, signalement à la Miviludes, maintenir le lien avec la victime, vigilance des institutions, responsabilité des politiques et des collectivités face à des mouvements à dérives sectaires, lobbying des mouvements à dérive sectaire auprès des institutions.15:25 : Les liens entre écologismes et ésotérismes : information scientifique et décisions politiques, appel à la nature, Natur Philosophie, Communauté du Monte Verita, Anthroposophie, René Dumont et Pierre Rabhi, survivalisme, la Booty Therapy au congrès d'EELV, la légende du colibri, le mythe de Pierre Rabhi, appel à la tradition.40:20 : Les dangers de l'utilisation de l'ésotérisme dans les projets politiques : individualisme, dépolitisation, se changer soi pour changer le monde, opposition aux Lumières, clivage entre technophilie et rejet des sciences, formation à la biodynamie, label Demeter, Biodyvin, Weleda, Jean-Luc Mélenchon, village d'Éourres, recherche de l'INRA, agriculture bio, l'ésotérisme en politique.01:06:50 : Questions du public 1 : les dérives sectaires dans les institutions, la pénétration de la biodynamie, lobbying des sectes, faut-il faire alliance avec des mouvements spirituels, motivations émotionnelles, Cyril Dion, Rob Hopkins, repolitiser l'écologie, faux dilemme, Pierre Rabhi.01:34:08 : Questions du public 2 : police de l'environnement, code de l'environnement, agriculture biologique, agriculture conventionnelle, le bon sens, aéroport de Notre-Dame-des-Landes, militantisme écologiste, label HVE, effondrement, écofascisme, rapport du GIEC. Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

Unfiltered a wine podcast
Ep 172: Discovering Lirac, a Cru of the Côtes du Rhône & one of the Southern Rhône's hidden gems with Rodolphe de Pins of Château de Montfaucon

Unfiltered a wine podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2024 40:11


To download the transcript CLICK HERE   Welcome back! Today we journey into the Southern Rhône Valley to explore one specific cru that deserves your attention: Lirac. Join us as we uncover the hidden gems beyond the typical Côtes du Rhône, discovering the value and sustainability behind these well-priced wines. Our guest, Rodolphe de Pins, winemaker and head of Château de Montfaucon, has played a huge part in elevating the reputation of the Lirac region. He shares his journey in revitalizing his family's winery alongside breaking down the distinctive style of wines from this Cru, highlighting its unique landscape and how it intricately molds these exceptional wines. Additionally, he provides insights into the optimal times of the year to experience the wonders of this remarkable place.   Gourmet walk of Lirac Gauges on Sat 25th May is one of them. Click here to know more.   And to know more in general, here are the links that I mentioned in the episode: https://www.vins-rhone.com/en/vineyard/appellations/lirac https://vin-lirac.com   This episode is sponsored by Wickham Wines, A small business themselves focusing on top quality wines. Do yourself a favour, and go check out their online store for their amazing collection! Use the code EATSLEEP10 for 10% off your first order.   If you want to skip ahead:   2.20: Rodolphe de Pins experience and stints around the world making wine 06.55: Returning back to Lirac, and taking over the family domaine of Château de Montfaucon 8.12: Where is Lirac and it's size 10.20: When did Lirac became a cru 14.33: The 2500 hectares of woodlands in Lirac and how this affects the grapes 17.01: Best times to visit the old cave of Sainte Baume 18.44: Traditional food and wine pairings for Lirac wines 21.36: How does Lirac compare to Châteauneuf-du-Pape 23.32: The grapes of Lirac and grape varietal requirements in Lirac 27.01: The environmental charter in Lirac - Organic farming and sustainability 28.45: HVE certification in Lirac 31.41: The future of Lirac 33.22: Coming to visit Lirac 34.23: The annual balade - a walk through the vineyards Any thoughts or questions, do email me: janina@eatsleepwinerepeat.co.uk Or contact me on Instagram @eatsleep_winerepeat   If you fancy watching some videos on my youtube channel: Eat Sleep Wine Repeat Or come say hi at www.eatsleepwinerepeat.co.uk Until next time, Cheers to you! ------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- THE EAT SLEEP WINE REPEAT PODCAST HAS BEEN FEATURED IN DECANTER MAGAZINE, RADIO TIMES AND FEED SPOT AS THE 6TH BEST UK WINE MAKING PODCAST

Maintenant, vous savez
Qu'est-ce que la “haute valeur environnementale”, ce label alimentaire contesté ?

Maintenant, vous savez

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2024 4:49


Créé par le ministère de l'Agriculture en 2012, le label “haute valeur environnementale”, dit HVE, fait légion dans les fermes écologiques et se retrouve sur les étals de fruits et légumes des supermarchés. Il correspond au niveau le plus élevé de respect de l'environnement en agriculture selon les critères de l'Etat. Un peu moins de 30 000 exploitations agricoles sont détentrices de ce label. Cependant, certains agriculteurs et agricultrices HVE ont entamé un recours en justice pour tromperie au consommateur en janvier 2023. Il existe 3 niveaux de certification HVE mais ici, nous nous concentrons uniquement sur la troisième. En effet, les 2 autres peuvent être assimilés à n'importe quelle exploitation agricole. Par exemple, pour être éligible au niveau 1 HVE il suffit de bénéficier d'aides de la politique agricole commune. C'est le cas de la moitié des agriculteurs en France selon une étude de l'atlas de la Pac réalisée en 2019. Comment être détenteur du label HVE ? Quels sont les critères d'obtention ? Pourquoi les agriculteurs critiquent aussi lourdement le label ? Écoutez la suite de cet épisode de "Maintenant vous savez". Un podcast Bababam Originals, écrit et réalisé par Samuel Lumbroso.  À écouter aussi : Est-on moins fertile qu'avant ? Que risque-t-on à devenir volontaire pour la science ? A quoi va ressembler l'agriculture de demain ? Retrouvez tous les épisodes de "Maintenant vous savez". Suivez Bababam sur Instagram. Première diffusion : 10 mars 2023 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tous au jardin
Tous au jardin - HVE ou Bio, quelles différences pour nos plantes ?

Tous au jardin

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2024


Tous au jardin : HVE ou Bio, quelles différences pour nos plantes ?

Tous au jardin
Tous au jardin - HVE ou Bio, quelles différences pour nos plantes ?

Tous au jardin

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2024


Tous au jardin : HVE ou Bio, quelles différences pour nos plantes ?

InVinoRadio.TV
1256e émission - Stéphane Rosa et Jean-Luc Zuger

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2024 20:24


DIMANCHE 07 JANVIER 2024Stéphane Rosa - Guide Hachette des vinsDepuis plus de 30 ans, la parution du Guide Hachette des Vins est devenue un rendez-vous incontournable pour les amateurs de vins, et le guide s'est imposé comme le guide d'achat de vins de référence. Chaque année, c'est donc un tour de France des meilleurs vins et domaines viticoles français que vous propose le Guide Hachette des Vins.Jean-Luc Zuger - Château Malescot Saint-Exupéry (Bordeaux)Niché au cœur de l'Appellation Margaux, l'histoire de Château Malescot Saint-Exupéry débute au XVIe siècle. Propriété de la famille Zuger depuis 1955, c'est aujourd'hui Jean-Luc et Catherine qui sont à la tête de la propriété familiale représentant ainsi la troisième génération. 3ème Grand Cru Classé de Margaux en 1855, le Château Malescot Saint-Exupéry se déploie aujourd'hui sur 28 ha de vignes certifiées HVE.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Enter The Multiverse x Legends x LOSC x Acension x Deathwish x Secret President x Gerald's Workd x Tales of A Superstar DJ x The Suite Life of Sunnï Blū / The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū ... did I miss something? probably oh well. so far, on all these shows: [The Legend Returns] Really Bad Mixtape (Might as well get it out of the way now) Killst_rr (Instrumental) Sleep Deprivation Sequence You're not you when you're not you. Hoe_math Exactly what it sounds like. [UnderWorld.] R-R 1 -rarity. [i Come Undone.] AtPLAY Live Mix [Autopilot.] {A Star Is Born.} For fear of fire; Best not to wander off, With no back track– Might have forgotten the rest, but It wasn't a poem, or part of a song At least, not yet Fuck man. I really want to sample this. Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork. You cant technically say that. I mean, I technically didnd't. Just let your fingers do the talking. Ooh, look at that one. What are you doing. Some online shopping. For what. A man-thing. You're better off letting your back end Handle the conversation Then again, When in search of a venue Anything with the proper connections And stereo systems Will do in the moment. What do you want? To get rid of my hiccups. That's it: *huccups* yu-p. Wow, that's– Have you ever thought about just– I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here. I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head. It's a lot. I'm gonna need a nap. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. *sheath/ swoard* Is that the sword of skrillex. Yeus. Give it to me. *stabs in thigh* Oooh. Not the balls! fair. Around the world we go Around we go again Here we are Oh no, It's the same song Over and over I'd like you to love to today (I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't) I know before long, we get older and older All wrong, It's the same one, Over and over. Have you seen my butt plugs? NO! GROSS. It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way. AGGH. Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon AmAZoN. Yes. (I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.) Please stop now. You're being a baby about this–just- You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself. Please do that. Siri– Oh my God. Alexa–reorder from Amazon. Come on focus. …hmm…now what was I doing? A B L E T O N *spinning rainbow wheel of doom* …seems like it was something. Come on….FOCUS. Hm. When's the last time you had a marshmello. Flashback: [BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex] *Also making smores* CUT BACK TO: Like never, I'm vegan. PASQUALE WAKE. UP. Holy shit. It's you again. It's always me. Last time you were like 26. Well, now i'm this age. Wait, how old are you. Wouldn't you like to know. There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list. Speaking of “top of the list”-- I do have a lot of things to do today. Oh yeah, what's that? I don't know. A bunch of crap. Speaking of crap– This is a lot of speaking. Happy Birthday. What is this. It's Captain Crunch. Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap. That's your lunch. I–no, it isn't. It is. No, i'm vegan. Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday” No… Yes, actually. This is – It is– Vegan. Damn. Jinx. You owe me a Pererier. Shut up. Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix. You're so LA. I guess that makes you Beverly Hills– Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed. It is “LA” What else is in this? No animal product… “Yellow 6” It reads! What happened to yellow 1-5? A whole story. Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!” That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly. What's wrong with this dimension? What isn't? I'm in it! You're in it! Like I said. What– Just eat it. Ugh– happy trails. *disappears* Ugh. I gave that dude too much money. Fuck, what was I doing again. Deadmau5. Uhm, no i was– Deadmau5. Deadmau5. OOOOOH> YES. I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. Stop it. YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU. Who is it? STOP IT. Stop–doing that. I know you're deadmau5. I most certainly am not. I know its you. I have boobs. How did you do this. I did–n't. That's right. Fuck, what happened. Nothin. Now I gotta kill my stupid brother. You have a brother?! SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE. Fuck, run. I gotta go. Go where. Uhm. Somewhere else. DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. IT WAS NEVER FUNNY. (It was funny to me.) God does have a sense of humor. AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA. As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor. Oh—he's okay! He's okay! No, he's dead. He's definitely dead. But a sense of humor, nonetheless. Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis. Nothing. I just got him drunk On what?! Cyanide? Okay, I don't even know what that is. He's a corpse. –but a pretty one. C'mon. Be serious. I can't. Why not. It's hilarious, kinda. This isn't funny. No, it's hilarious. He earned it. He “earned” it? Well, yes– He is dead. I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly. “Honestly” Please. PLease. Please. No, I said. PLEASE. I SAID NO. What's this story. That's ten. I win. Fuck. DILLOn WAkE UP. *smacks* ahah. I think it's working I think he's waking up. He's not waking up. He must be. He's laughing. He's not laughing He said “haha' *smacks* haha . See. *smacks* Mm. This shit smacks HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS. Oh shit, is this the 90s. HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS. *slams* GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS. That's it. There's no more. AW, COME ON. Sorry, that's all there is. WHAT. But yu can have captain crunch. I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS. I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat. GRAMPA Shredded Wheat is MY favorite. Ugh. Mm. Honey Smacks. I HATE YOU. Be nice to your brother. Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating. Who plays tiny Dillon? I don't know. There are like nine in the script. It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah. Fucking. I hate Utah. WELCOME TO UTAH. Nice. Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here? DILLOn FRANCIS I am not doing this project. Of course you are–it's in your contract. What contract. The one you signed. Which–no–I didn't. But you did. SUNNI BLU I got you a drink. DILLON FRANCIS That looks fruity. SUNNI BLU Try it. DILLON FRANCIS *sips* DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D What's in this. Just– drink it. SUNNI BLU Don't look at me like that. DILLOn FRANCIS Like what. SUNNI BLU Do you need a mirror? DILLON FRANCIS I– SUNNI BLU Look down. DILLON FRANCIS *does* SUNNI BLU *flicking nose* Made you look. haha . DILLOn FRANCIS Wow. [takes drink] SUNNI BLUThat's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one. [there literally is] SUNNI BLU CONT'D The floor is made of mirrors DILLOn FRANCIS *suddenly inebriated* Oh wow. SUNNI BLU The whole club turns into a disco ball. DILLON FRANCIS *suddenly very inebriated* That's–convenient. SUNNI BLU It is. SHIA DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS. If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me. A lot of us do. Carry on, then. SKRILLEX BLAIGH. Oh shit, its you again. I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga. Are you sure it was him? SKRILLEX !!!! No. Alright, i've almost got it. Almost got what. This whole– thing. Oh. –and–it's gone. Really, that quick. I don't think you understand what's happening. You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all. Oh shit. I'm deadmau5. Nice. Fuck it, lets do some trolling. Alright alright. BUT FIRST, COFFEE. Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee. Too late. deadmau5. ok . Deadmau5. Nice. D–0 DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU. …. If you open that portal, there's no going back. *opens portal* Now you've done it. *goes into portal* Fuck. *portal closes neatly* *facepalm* *entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably* Come on, just let me lick the balls. NO. I'll give you a cookie. well … OH my GAWD. What. Come here, you have to see this. What the fuck is that. I don't know. Should i pick it up? No, don't touch it! He picked it up. Oh, gross. What is this. I don't know. I think it's fanfiction. Who wrote it. Idk. somefangirl. Fangurl. FaNGiRls. Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie. OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT. GET AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40. -well. NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK. Since when does this show have commercials. It doesn't. I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon. That's–not happening. Why not. JIMMY FALLON BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC. There he is– Nice. JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY. Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?! SETH MCFARLENE (with super long hair) *crossing fingers* I'm hoping so. JIMMY FALLON Not even close! SETH MCFARLENE *snaps* Dammit. Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run Which “coffee run” THE coffee run. We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time. Of all of them. You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show. What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER Because–it's my duty. Yo. You know that song that everybody knows? You know the song because everybody knows this song. It goes: Lovin you– is easy cause youre beautiful. do - do- do - do- do- do- do… Yeah. You know that song. But you probably don't know who sings it. I'll tell you who sings it. That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton. That's a mouthful. Yeah, one hell of a name, huh. Well, that's the lady who sings the song. It's Minnie Riperton. Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know: Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ But i know this, because I'm a DJ AND MAYA RUDOLPH WAUT A MINUTE. What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM It's 1:15 in the afternoon. I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM. That's making sense. I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. So it is. *slurps milkshake* *sitting on toilet* *slurps* What do you want. You want to know what I want? Apparently, a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. OK. OK. OK so what. Finish the script. –What? Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time? Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane. beep-boop . [DJ] B00p beep. [Music Producer] Beep-beep. 0.c. Do not fall dangerously in love; Do not pass go Do not collect $200 Or any of it For any reason, For any of it For any of them Just keep it pushin; Just keep it private Just hold it all in and Do not let go Do not fall in love Do not pass go Do not unload Do not walk Do not cross here Do not It smells like butter. But you're vegan. I know. Do you think you're having a stroke. God, I fucking hope so. GOD You WHAT. I want to die. GOD I thought i heart you right. You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life. GOD Not until you make dubstep. WHAT. GOD You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album. I what. GOD Or at least nominated. No, I don't. GOD Beg your pardon. I'm not begging. GOD What are you getting at, hon? Look; Am I not one with the source? GOD Uhm–you are. Alright, Then: everything is everything. GOD Yes. And everyone is everyone. GOD This is true. So i'm Skrillex. GOD Skrillex is Skrillex So I Am. GOD … And I already won a grammy. GOD … Like a bunch of them, right. GOD Uh. So technically– GOD YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic. This isn't ableton. No. This is Logic. What the fuck. That's not Serato. No, that's Rekordbox. What the fuck is this. These are CDJs. There's no hot cues! What the fuck is a “HOT CUE” This is not food. What the fucking sauce. I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn. THIS IS MY HOUSE. Your house it is not. *House music starts blasting* *lasers* sprinklers* dancers* WHAT THE FUCK. It's voice activated, I just– How did you do this?! What. WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN. I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said. You were supposed to find Dillon Francis. I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead! What? He's dead? Presumably! What do you mean by that!? It's a long story! WELL, HOW LONG? SUNNI BLU About as long as my dick! WHO IS THAT. I told you it's a long story. Well, let me in! Sorry Pasquale. No Can do. What. Why not. Cause you're on a federal watch list. What. Yeah. Sorry. Wait… You should probably leave before the feds get here. What? Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended. This is bizarre. The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him. WAIT. SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably; SUPACREE!!! [Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn] SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5 SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide. I'm the worst DJ ever. SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5 I don't even know what key this song is in. MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap. This is insane. I don't know what's happening. END CREDITS. V. O. Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton Carless, deadmau5 idk how i'm gonna mix that. Trust me. Anything can be mixed. Anything. [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* Lookie here boys: What is it? –I'm leaving. Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this. What. I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962. Okay, what do you want? A deal. Oh, I'll give you a deal. Cash up front. [He presents a one dollar bill] Is this enough. [beat] Where are you going with this? Nowhere, fast. YO. What now, dude. SHE'S ONTO US. I doubt that. Look at this. I highly doubt– *gaaassp* Shenanigans! You know what I like about you, Ariana? Everything. Hah. Hm. You know how to keep a secret. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. *rolls eyes, flips hair.* Well, here's another one for you. –Another what? This is how my darkness becomes your darkness. I already have enough on my own. I know. You don't know. Only God knows. MOM! Don't ask me again. This is heavy, Doc. What is it? The soup! It's too heavy. Too much cream? Way too much! I have a meeting! Meeting with who? The Hollywood People. When? Soon–what time is it? I don't know. Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house? I only just recently remembered what a clock was. Oh! Here. [God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.] Ah, Jesus Christ! He's not here… I'm gonna be late. Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen– [a smug look| Hugs and Kisses. [As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44] Amazing. V.O. Now you won't wait so long to visit. [He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio] MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this. ____ Meanwhile, What am I going to do with you? [The Festival Project.™] YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! –I'm dead to everyone! Don't do this. You wanted to come to the other side. No, I didn't. We'll you're here anyway; Might as well stay awhile. With eyes like burning fire And saddles for the riders The horse begins to gallop (or the horses, rather) On the mark to beating drums To move them forward faster What the fuck is this. idk. Kx5. *-* !_! Here u go Wat is this. it's a dragon. Oh, thats nice. Ya. Whats it do. Idk. dragon things. ok. Don't put it in ur bathroom. Why. idrk. Hm. † Hey. Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away. It's me, Ryan! No, Get out! I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade! Gross! It's just Ryan! I promise! NO. GET OUT. Lmfao. Right. This show is fantastic. Who was that. Fucking–Kaskade again! Are you sure. Ugh. Looks like Ryan. Kaskade is Kaskade. {shrugs] Dudes a creep. “Kaskade Ruins Lives” Is this the same episode as before? Eventually, yes. Wasn't I doing something Are you goona let this go? Um. Well I'm fucked. Why, what happened. Obsidian. That should do Unsobsidian. Okay, i'm fucked, Well, what's this? An Oreo Cookie. I mean, sitting next to it. Oh, its a portal gun. Raves are not just raves– A party is not simply a “party” –These big festivals –they're diversions. –DIstractions. Distractions from what. If you were supposed to know, –you'd know. it wouldn't be so important that you go. Why is it? These ancient rituals… It's occult magic. They've got it down to a science. The government funds this. The government funds everything. WoooooooW. It's not really a secret, if you can google it. ‘-complications.' I'm lost somewhere, gone HIppopatamus feeling quite off in the galaxies, galavanting Gazing at Daisies Aces and spades Gone from Heaven to Hades for days On the A– Adjacent Recently dismantling adjectives, Lampshades and matching curtains God it hurts, every day that I think about you; But how can i be about you when You don't even see me, do you Signature consignments, Wrong environments and irony is, I wasn't invited– –but invented it WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Great, now I have to explain myself. You don't have to. What's this space for? Oh, that's the red room. [The Red Room] Well, obviously, but– But what? What's it for? I don't think anybody should read this. HEY. Participation Only– Oh! No peeking! You ever feel like you're doing too much? Yeah, but not for money. Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to– deadmau5 . What? No– DEADMAU5. Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat? It was a mouse. I know the difference. Do you, though? Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City. So. In Queens. Oh. That's mathematically impossible. I mean it's not–impossible. No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible. Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science? What is this. Just–enjoy the rave. No. What is this. Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC… NO. What is this right here. BEFORE: Hey, you still got that balloon? Yeah. Lemme see it. Dude, what are you doing? …I'mma go catch me a DJ. THIS IS NUTS. I can't feel my face. What do you call this? Collateral Damage. Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom. ok . And–uhh– and. Uhh– Why did you call me over here. Cause i can. Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo” Voodoo is magic. It's just music. W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O I don't know. Fuck dude, I fucked up. Once again– Of course you did. What did you do this time? I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass. Nice. Way to go. Yeah. Wait. … Did you just say. HE JUST He deserted me. SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE? ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT? JEFF Alright, lets go. WHO DID THIS. So what's this place. Lets not let this conversation resurface. This is a 21 Plus Event. What about VIP VIP is 25 Plus. What about that place. Sorry kids. [NO ENTRY] We gotta get in there. So then they wanted an Encore. Did you give them an encore? NO, i was already at my hotel room. Then how did you know that they wanted an encore? WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE. FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER. Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC? Have you literally never been out with rich people? No, I literally just got rich. Oh, nice. So, wait, like– Here we go. Dillon Francis has just always been rich? Uh-huh. And Skrillex has always been rich? Yes. Definitely. And deadmau5. deadmau5 is Canadian. OH MY GOD. W E L C O M E I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this. Alright. Sign this waiver. …this is a…pretty heavy packet. I'll wait. I've never signed an NDA like that in my life. Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon. And like, everyone knows what it means. Everyone knows what an NDA is. I appreciate the sentiments Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically? Autopilot, go. Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot. You're on autopilot. I don't really have to think about it anymore, I'll have to sleep on it Wear a white t-shift, Hear the applause of the audience, Eat it You wanna know what I think? You want to know what I'm drinking? You know what I need? An Icee, (cause I see you typing) An awful Omnipotence A God of Mirages No more carbohydrates, I gotta get all thin; Forgot to acknowledge Whether or not i'm turning this off soon I are. I…”are” I are. Infinite Reality. OH. I. R. IR! IR! IRV I ARE. Suddenly, I remember the taste of talcum powder As If I were Moving backwards In time, Like, Why, God on earth would My mom let me try that, But if i'm honest, Fuck man, I hate deadmau5– There's just too much in here. Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple. What is this, MATH?! THIS IS AERODYNAMICS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS DId you mean what you said about that? I meant everything I said. Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem In realtime, listening to deadmau5 Having a partially out of body spiritual experience, Entirely fucking sober FACEPALM BLŪ 8facepalming dramatically in frustration* NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS. beepboop. YO. Oh, I forgot my open form poetry, or my mom How my mom once allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder But who can blame her That was a hard one It was a past life And now ive Got Another One HOly shit what version of the cube is this. 1D. What. You'll get it. Wait. Have you ever stopped for a minute to think– I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think” [Literally stops for a minute to think.] No fucking way, uh-uh. Come on, man. No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5. Come on– NO. –that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place. Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this. What are you doing. Voluntary Ego Death. I– Wait. Why would you. Get out of my brain. I am your brain. Take care, now. Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil. That's because she's definitely more evil ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS: WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX. MEANWHILE INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY. *rings doorbell* AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question. Oh. Fuck. What dude. We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into. Are you serious? It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude. What do you mean he “left the dimension” He entered a portal. He– wait, excuse me. A portal. A “portal”, dude? Yeah; a portal. What do you mean “a portal” A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal. Uh huh. Excuse us for a second. What the fuck is this dude talking about? I don't know, man. Humans don't use portals! I know man. What the fuck! Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human. He looks human. Yeah dude but, we look human. Duh! Cause we shifted! Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter. Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one. Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good. I highly doubt that. Why? Cause I'm the best. No, I am. Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters! Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right? I hope not. No, not like that—like Okay, okay, whatever, let's just… Wait, where'd he go? Excuse me. What up. There was just another guy over here just now— He was like—you know—normal looking guy Tie die* shirt Yeah. Did you see him. Yeah, I saw him. Alright, cool, where'd he go? He left. What?! That was fast! Yeah, well…it happens. Are you sure? Yes. *actually is shifter* [as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.] Awww, dammit, Now we're never gonna find this guy. Never say never. Whatever, we're dead. We're always dead. Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms Oh, yeah, that. Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this. It is useless. *enters portal potty* [ Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis? That's great, I was just getting to that. 19 Pages. Nice. …no, 12. What. [11:12] Okay, I'm gonna kill him. Oh, I banished him. With my fists. Nice. Tits. Nice tits. Thx. Hey man. Hey what. Remember that smudge on the lens. Yeah. It just got bigger. … did you try vinegar instead of Windex. Yes. –IT'S NOT A SMUDGE. Did you try Windex with Vinegar. –IT'S NOT A– Shut up. I'm. So. Hungry. Look, do you want this, or not? Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence? Just quit, it. Dillon Francis. WHERE IS IT? I don't know. Lets kick this up a notch. ILLUMINATI What do you want? … I want the full package. ILLUMINATI Okay, I'm gonna need specifics. How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati? [INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING] Hm. It was a pretty specific list. I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan Well, The Mayor eats fish. Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of? I don't know. We meet in the Matrix. This is for you. Oh. Do you like it? I– It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only! YOu BUY a Membership. Yeah. And WOMEN. HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO. SHHH. Oh no. What. What did you do? I gave her my credit card. The Heavy One? Yes, and– “AND” –access to the black market. Cool, I got it. Oh, another auction. Of course another auction. What'd you buy this time? A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead. What are you gonna do with that? Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, gross. LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans, It's a comfortable, safe space. Very inviting. Everyone is happy. What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest. Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya. Hey, I'm looking for this shithead. Oh, that dude? Yeah, have you seen him? Fuck, I wish this never happened. LIL BIIIIITz If you don't know who deadmau6* is– GET OUT. Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen. Maybe just to me, but. Are you sure that's the right guy? Yeah, that's gotta be him. Is he wearing glasses? Ugh. Oh wait. Damn. ‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think' Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind– Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music. Are you sure this is real? No. I love this. Just shut up and do your job. What a nightmare. PLease HElP ME. Hm. That can't be right. What. This translates to H E L P M E Oh, shit, I gotta go. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm always working. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm at work. Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here. Where are you going? To shoot myself. Wow, that's one hell of a smile. Just–take it. I'm sorry, i can't accept this. What is even happening in this series? Like, a lot WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN. *not settling down* *lil biiiiiiiitz* You know what I wonder? I wonder this I'm sober. I'm just sober sally over here. I didn't get sober. I just am. Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning Or–just–whenever– To wake up whenever and be like “OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE” And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again. ‘OH NOOOOOO” *gets faded* “It's all goooooood” No, it isn't. But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a It's not even a happy medium, It's more like a median-medium But you know what? It makes happier moments more happy And shitter moments less shitty Because i don't have this like drastic spacial Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy. I get to feel things way more intensely. I don't have to wonder, ever “oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up” Or like “would it have happened this way if I was sober” At all. I'm just level– No false sense of Pretty much anything. But i do wonder, though– Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then GOT sober– like , what's the breaking point What's the tip? I always have to sit back and wonder “What did you DO?” Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly “I don't drink anymore” I always wonder, and it's like– no disrespect or anything thing but… I really wanna hear that story. lol . I know you don't wanna tell it (if you can) But wanna hear it. Cause from my point of view. IT's probably hilarious. I know. I'm a dick. Holy shit. What is that. Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year. …is that a penis? WELCOME HOME It's a giant dick- in-the-sky! GOD IS REAL! JESUS Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing. What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this. JESUS I literally can't. I know, but. Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that. You've gotta tell him. NO, RYAN. WELL, WHY NOT. BECAUSE, RYAN. WHY. DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL. Damn, am I in here. Nice. Of course I am. Well, how'd that happen. This is like a sea of cellphones. Perfect. It was a red car; I wasn't all there, And if you want her, You can have her Fuck. What. I forgot the rest of the verse. It's ok. We gotta move on. No, I gotta go back. For what. For my fans. Aw. What's this. IT's a ceramic mug. Wow, that's nice. I made it Wait. You made that?! Yeah. With your hands?! Yeah. Why would you do that? For you. What. I made it for you? Like, you thought of me first, then you made it? Yeah. WHY? Cause i love you! WOW. Fans are awesome OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Sometimes. *vomits* … *dies* … *godlessness* [Devastating DJ Moments] I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?! “Music particles” UGH. what . That's it. Don't be smart around me. Uh. I'm not smart? No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence. “Sorry” Stop saying that. This is America. S– Don't say it again. Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Like what. With your face. *face* Quick: Say something stupid and random. …I like anime. Oh good, that worked. Thanks. Where are you going? Idk somewhere else. Really, that's it? Yeah. That's all you have to say/ That's literally it. Are you seeing this. Yes. So what's the problem. Oh no, she's stuck in a loop. Throw the whole fan away. [DELETE] Did it work. Did what work. Oh, good. Cool. Wait. See ya later. Did what work? I wish i could just forget about this. Everything? Yeah. Look, this is between me and God–okay? GOD Don't drag me into this. You dragged ME into this! GOD Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in. Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here. Like what. Look, I love you. Great, now what do we do? Bury the body, I guess. *shrugs* Wait, what happened? Somebody dies. OKay, me first. Other Three: Who wants to go next. *still in shock* Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story. *Crying* I'm ruined. What! You went broke? No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire. I thought you were a billionaire. I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened. “Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire” I got to admit, man, I did it to myself. I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do Oh, like what. Not that song. What, why not? You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5. What's the difference? Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?” No, it isn't. How is that not different? That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog. You think I look like a hedgehog. No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off. NO, i like this song. Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off. I'm gonna turn it up instead. I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs. Should I bass boost this song. NO, PROBABLY NOT. Oh, why not? Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop. OH HOW COME BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS *DROP* [INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE– PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK – HOLE. ohhhhh . What a hoe. Nice, that's a whole episode. Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever. Shazam, what is this. SHAZAM …i don't know. What do you mean you don't know. SHAZAM *panicing* IDONNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN– SHAZAM IDON. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOO Is this deadmau5. I'm not sure. Sounds like deadmau5. It sure does. This is pretty Ooh. it sparkles. yeah , it's deadmau5. How does she KNOW. I need a deadmau5 machine like right now. I know where to find that. Fuck dude, everything's gonna be half-ass until I push out this album. You can't rush it. Trust the process. I can't focus. Oh shit, wasn't this in the last episode? Yeah. I'm still writing backwards. God, what is that, like a pipe organ. WHAT SYNTH IS THIS. Doesn't matter, I just need one. That's it. I know what I'm going to spend my Jimmy Fallons On. And What's that? V.O. OOh. Are we Montaging–to deadmau5? [MONTAGE: deadmau5] Nice. I love a good montage. I love deadmau45* AHH OH NO. I love deadmau5. I keep making typos and I keep forgetting to delete that parallel where. fuckit. That's the synth I've always wanted. It's on sale for $999 At Sam Ash But…you only have Five JImmy Fallons. There are only five special edition in this Volume The Jimmy Fallon 555's I don't know how many volumes there are, but this is the Volume I started keeping track. Fuck, man. I miss Equinox. It's just Eucalyptus. They also have an outdoor running track where you get the best ever view of midtown manhattan. How do you know it's the best ever view of Midtown manhattan. Because it's on a running track. STOP WHISTLING IN MY WHOOP=WHOOPS. The JImmy Fallon 555s are marked with the standard Jimmy Fallon in black ink With a simple side marker of the number 555 in red And also in red, a telephone number on the back. But–that synthesizer is One Thousand Jimmy Fallons. Yeah. So I only need Nine Hundred Ninety Five More. And of course, the Eye of Providence is highlighted. Also Standard. V.O. I always highlight that. Cause, you know… “Illuminati” These are fake. No they're not! They're counterfeit, sorry. No they're not! They're authentic! Why the fuck does this matter so much? You know. What is it with this dude. If it was a snake, it would've bit ya. It was a snake. And it did bite me. He's so increasingly beautiful to me, And I'm still in love with his friend, or misrepresented masterpiece, Progression of a monster, or procession of a superstar, but Something in the story sparks the thought of All we are is consciousness, of course Awkward in body, but of constellations Cosmos, It's not just a corpse; It's all got love in it, Absurd, and sipping carbonated syrup, but I'm just sitting in my stirrups, Here comes galloping a horse, Of course, it hurts to turn it off For just a moment And remember That i'm just a homeless, Stuck and sitting up at night Writing recourse, hugging learning curves in ableton, Curving curses, been reminded that I'm worthless In a thousand words or less, Or just another form of torture, Nothing said, but all that's done Another day another dollar, But it's not It's Jimmy Fallon. I thought this was enter the multiverse. Are you ready to go. No. A hand on my shoulder So paifully socially awkward, I grow stretchmarks, don't know what to call them But scars, But the uglier ones, I've thought Are invisible, Somewhat– To the naked eye Or just anyone Not tiger stripes But one, an eye of horus Carved above my right And inside my lip, (The bottom one) A raised scar in the shape of a sythe I probably died by the hands of a man named Starr So it's hard to shrug it off, And 555 is just a number But it's not It's another scar, It's a punishment For loving him. What's on the back. It's…a number. What number? A telephone number. What. Like a 1-800 Number Call it. I love deadmau5. Something about a big, giant smiling robotic mouse that lights up and sparkles. Why? I don't know. I'm like 5. I see deadmau5 i'm like “WHEEEEEEE” My hands go up in the air “AHHHHHH! YAYYYYY” I'm so stupid. It's so stupid. But you know what? It makes me feel good. I'm not gonna lie. I love it. And by the time I even figured out what deadmau5 was I was so late to the party that I had to make up for lost time. I listened to deadmau5 doing EvErYThING. Everything you could possibly imagine. Well–Except one. Wait, how long have you been cellibate? Forever, probably. Fuck, what happened in here? I don't know. Everything's broken. My head My heart. Everything. Get up, Dillon Francis. Fuck, what happened. You sent us through a black hole. And we crashed on a random ass planet. Fuck, that sucks. YOu suck, Dillon Francis. Ugh. Now get up. Everything's fucked up. SUPERSTAR DJ I'm a paradox. I've got a box of skeletons in my closet i'm not ready to part with. I had a heart attack; I had a heart once, But lately it goes in my pocket; Or my right hand, When I wake up From a dream land, From a long hug From a nice man In a t-shirt KASKADE This is God's PLAN. RYAN, GET FUCKED. 800-799-7233 Did you call the number. Yeah. What is it. [National Domestic Violence Hotline] Woah. That was a long bonus scene. Well, Now here's a PSA. AND A PSA? YES. A PSA. You know what the fucked up thing about all this is, The Legend of Supacree is a true story. All of it. ALL OF IT?! ALL OF IT!? YES. Even the part about– YES. Especially that part. Woah. Damn. I think i'm gonna be sick. Shut up, Dillon Francis. No, but seriously– This is the story of how I got my heart broken so bad. YOU RUINED IT. So, so bad– I HATE YOU. That i started singing about it. NSA, totally *not spying* …are you hearing this. Yes. ILLUMINATI Check this out. Another one down. And how when you start making music– What is this. it's hoe math. And that music actually comes from a really real place. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. really real shit starts happening. You–killed yourself. well , to be fair–I lost everything first. Congratulations. Thx. Here's a skrillex. WHT. Kbye. Really, really, really. What, the fuck Dillon Francis, crawled inside of you to live and made it'self at home? Idon'tknow. What is in this sauce? Just–kill him. What, i can't just. Just kill him, while nobody is watching. Please don't kill me. Shut up, man. I'm having a thought process. Okay, that's it. FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. That's the spirit. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. IT'S THE HOLY SPIRIT. Who the fuck is this. It's–Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ?! JESUS CHRIST i'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait, are you claiming that the second coming of the messiah is upon us?! YES. Well,Technically, it's the third. And it's all because of Dillon Francis?! I Please stop this HATE Help YOU. Fuck, dude. I know, huh. What did he DO. The third?! How did we miss that?! Uh, you didn't. [HITLER, being HITLER] (he was mad) Okay, that's it. You can't write any of this. Uh, I can. I just did. Technically, I'm dead: this is just a voiceover It's an 80's style PSA You can't say Hitler was the messiah. That's offensive. Everything is offensive. FUCK YOU DILLON. I'msosorry NOTYETYOU'RENOT. Wait, whatever happened to Skrillex. SKRILLEX is waiting outside of the alleged home of SUPACREE's “distant relatives” Lol is he for real at her mom's house. well , to be fair, he's like–looked everywhere else. Ur right. That was a lot of dimensions. So. like. Fuck, i didn't even have that much coffee. It just goes on forever. [DILLON FRANCIS STILL HAS HOTSAUCE IN HIS PUDGY LITTLE EYES] Good. Cause if I see the pupils, i'm wasting him. You think you can do better than this. Better than this? Yes. Yes. Then do it. Alright, is the PSA over? No, not yet. I gotta say one more thing. What is it? Would you ever have done it, Or would you ever be honest If you had, Handed her a lesson, Or a stretch of the past From the present moment, My heart, and my mind And my lover I present you this honor From now on to nowhere I no longer… Want to be near you Or to know you Or to hear you Or to fear you No longer… Want to feel you Or to touch you Or to have you Or to hold you Or to love you No longer, I no longer want you Devastating, A song stuck in my head for a whole world I wonder how long it would take to go back there A room full of actors, A manager, Never a backpack to wear Just a handful of hats, One director, Eventually producer Just now a showrunner Look at how long that took. I had to wonder what auroras in the north thought of someone like Sonny. They showed me. Now I can love you no longer So much for getting acquainted Funny what age equates to in ageless An infinite wisdom, I dismissed him, Nor, would I believe that he ever would hit her, but Some might belong in such a category Though i carry the marks and the scars Of what my once- husband did to me –but no longer. I haven't a heart in the world left But a broken one, made of amethyst. Fuck off, Dillon Francis. A calculated attack on my psyche. I like it a lot, But i'm fonder of sodom. WHAT. Are you saying you woul actually participate in an orgy! Oh GOD no! Oh, Good, cause– But i'd host one. WHAT. The hedonists are a fun bunch. Oh my God. Though, Nowadays, of course, I haven't the slightest idea what to call them. I saw the future. Well, obviously, if you've headlined EDC you've seen the future. I remember all of it. That must be awful. Why don't you remember it? Because i don't want to. Not at all. I did once. Then what happened? I hated it so much, i forgot. You forgot on purpose. I had to. Love, or Music. …Music. Love, or Fame. Fame. Okay, ouch. Love, or Music? …Love. Okay. Love, or Fame. Love. Okay. Love, or music? … Isn't that the same thing? Hm. Love, or Fame? ….Why do you keep asking me the same question. I beg your pardon? Why beg? I mean– What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, first you asked me, If would rather have Love or Music. Love. Music. Yes. In my mind, those are synonyms. Neither can really exist without the other. Okay, and Fame. Love and Fame are also synonyms– How so? Ugh, I just made this difficult on myself. It was always difficult. It really wasn't. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Yo My horizontal monster wants ya Could revert to vert, but lets keep Our options open Covert, __ My heart is broken No window open Who left the draft in –motherfucker My heart is broken I need a lover I need a lover Some one to hug me I need a hug, but And– I'm not fit to touch The hem of your garment The tip of your dick or fit enough to be your girlfriend I guess i'll just have to live with that When I have an itch, I scratch it myself I made the assumption you can't, And moved passed it But something's been calling me out, from the past Something's been calling me back to the magic I can't get around that Do you hate me? I can see that I'll just make my way back to the beginning Though I'm envious And i pity her, The both of you really There's nothing left between us except Insanity//Infinity Kendrick Style Flow Don't key my car: You'll be callin collect! I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head Don't get up right now, son– Go back to bed I got kids all over, be pulling my leg! Luke, I am your Father! Oh My Oh My God On top of the Watchlist You make money off dope; I made it on craigslist Still be sniffin that coke But now i'm on A list I'm the greatest Ey Miss! I missed too many calls (Airplane Mode) I just started my day (Whole Workload) I might need a buffet (Like Whole Foods) Sashe, Pas De Bourre (That's a code word) No dance floor? Now you're done for My forte Four-to-the-floor Hardcore I drop bass on the encore Front row won't go But i'm already out the front door You don't know I just hopped inside the helicopter, or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup That's supper; Sleep/ Wake then Surf's up In the morning When i got there (Coastal show, Shower, Then another club Encore Front row lined up I'm already at the front door They want more I'm too sore, for sure Off subject, I dropped in Harder than Paulie On my surfboard (Another code word) This is my world: Another club, Then I'm off for a monday Or somethin' Write another song At the buffet –Tales of a Superstar DJ Amen. Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives! Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin! GET ON THE GROUND. NO! GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SO? IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE. OK? “OK”? YOU WILL DIE. YEAH, AND? Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish. What do you do with someone who has no fear of death. Give them life. I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this. *shrugs* You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer? Technically, three entirely separate individuals. THIS ISN'T FAIR. Do you ever think? Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross. I mean about the implications of these things! You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened. WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED. I'm giving you planetary confinement. What. You–can stay here. On this planet. No. It's racist–and primitive. No– And you're black. Please– I'm leaving. –don't– –and i'm taking your portal gun with me. YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?! Genius. Incredible. I didn't think it would be a big deal. He has two! Okay, time for work. But i didn't even sl– Coffee. Ouh. … … — I don't think we should be doing this TIA We probably shouldn't. TAMERA We very much shouldn't. What are you guys doing. Nothing. SHh. Summoning the devil. It's not the devil. It might be. Hush. Is that a pentagram. Technically it's a star, with a circle around it. That's a pentagram. It's not a pentagram! Is that a ouiji board? NO. Yes. Let me see. Ugh! I wanna help. MEANWHILE. MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car: Oh God, This. Yes it is! What!? Are you dead! Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE. No, you are! Great, so you're dead! I'm–not dead. Is Bob Saget with you? I'm not DEAD. What about Fraiser? What? Kelsey Grammer! God rest his soul. SEE! I'm not dead– [beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar] I'm a Legend. What. I wrote that/ You wrote that. What. Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman. [Morgan Freeman] I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something– So, who isn't?! It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on. What is that? I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5. I don't understand. No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world. The fourth dimension. I definitely don't know anything about that. You're in it. Whatever. Look. [Morgan Freeman] God, you have so many freckles. [Morgan Freeman] Look. I got problems. We all do! Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit. Sounds like Hollywood. Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all. Oh? Oh. The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically. Not even this? [pause] He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata; You know who gave it to me? …Who? Got ya. He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ; Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this. But you kind of have to. I mean i don't have to. YOU HAVE TO. I–WHAT? YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WHY. BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST; Then don't exist… I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW. Come on Drew, knock it off. Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore. Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name. Well, which is it? It literally doesn't matter. Yes it does. Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better! But how do we know which is actually “better?” Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes! Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES. Don't mind if i DO. Well, I do! Why?! What's wrong?! Yeah! What's the big deal! I'm on a gluten free-thing Oh yeah? Keto. Or someshit. I don't know. Oh. Oh. So you don't want these No, I don't. And you wouldn't mind if I– Come on, man. So Good. Grow up. Hey man, i'm pushin 40. Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face. You're no fun. Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty. Formerly. Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty. Hence the name. Wow. Phewf. I heard about that. Yeah, me too. Sounds real bad, how that turned out. Such a shame. Speaking of shame– You're speaking, I'm snacking. That's not that clever. We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes. That's not–wait a minute–hold on. What now? How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together. [Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together. –Let alone to agree to this!? SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth. I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS. That's what she said! Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal! The key word, I believe, is “never caught” That's two words! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that? I WANT MY LAWYER!!!! For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first? WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE. The Police are here. Wait, they are? Oh, thank God Not so fast. THE POLICE enter with full entourage. Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit! Groupies: Woooo! STING I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean. Oh my God. Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude. That's not fair. But it's funny. THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You” –and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this. “WE” “FIX ALL THIS” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Nobody seems to know. “--I'll be watching you–” I was FRAMED. CUT TO a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into Fuck, what the fuck happened after that Idk I got off the train I guess This is really terribly written INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY. A tiny conga for 90 dollars I could die in here Maybe I am just like you I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room And have my way with it Just for a few minutes Consume it, then move on Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue It's okay, You're a white girl So everybody loves you Everybody loves you Everybody loves you, no matter what you do. As for me, I can't say when I'm going through But you couldn't do it, Madison That's as bad as being at a standst

america god love jesus christ music american new york amazon time health trust new york city father hollywood earth man los angeles house rock work moving hell mexico training young speaking canadian games building dj creator writing balance fitness devil focus coffee holy drop forever festival dad write satan open mom funny kanye west plan police tales utah greek record dead bbc alive grammy code fame mayors heroes escape wake humans stuck dark beyonce rain standing matrix sick straight hits legends switch consequences happy birthday member hire math cat adolf hitler letting go broke finish humble billion incredible falling in love vegan gurus blame genius wear hole distractions honestly throw orange ab gotta lol curiosity complex hungry soft proud karma fuck tempo lying weak congratulations amen wtf balls bronx anxious loud logic providence heartbreak harder david bowie hanging saves bitch membership excuse signal counting yellow similar gross apology psa awkward shut doc siri ir nuts grammy awards suite copyright shenanigans beverly hills pages won shazam bach get out keto nah wonderland cosmos ludwig van beethoven whole foods shower forgot hades dudes ka pay attention illuminati spur progression signature californians sd thousand encore backwards cont aha rick and morty fucking voodoo mm nsa underworld sir soleil morgan freeman lay jimmy fallon technically autopilot bury reached int annihilation devastating petite hugs sauna hush ur nevermind consume equinox heroic jk coastal kisses absurd tie acoustic handle handed lovin family guy star is born la croix irony montages hm framed nothin duh michael j fox amit diplo subscriptions sweeping rr only god nda idk jinx im m tits cupcakes obsidian skrillex caucasians covert edc keisha brownies beeps hahaha augmented oh god benz mmm ew death wish oh my god aw copycat careless opposites sentimental tantric shhh tit vinegar dammit deadmau5 midtown in the heights kaskade goddamn good one lemme marty mcfly raves summoning metadata gazing sunni fuckin horus insatiable thx losc ahem edx pasquale mistrust collateral damage lmfao dan harmon moo moog kelsey grammer whole foods market stop it carved fonda gawd dillon francis motherfuckers jesus no drew carey dan schneider shitting hah cyanide awww aww 1d ext uhhh eucalyptus shh god is real josh peck fangirls suite life barrymore fka chuck taylor uhh serato he said end credits gimmie sunn windex captain crunch fraiser commercial break hard reset control room lin manuel buti uhm minnie riperton god yes fuck it ahah arrr agh oreo cookies god not jesus look icee lost lands god right watching you come undone tox what the fuck cdjs i hate you probably not polars wht carless get fucked it hurts rekordbox minnie ripperton best dance lookie bothersome ouh shredded wheat i am ready dog blood acension superstar dj waht let me out hve ahaha curving lampshades beverly center honey smacks you will die phoenixx vip vip by chance dj world this is my house oh come on who did this you're dead to me phewf wheeeeeee
The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

taking a break to try to stop the coughing. idk sux ppl can just be controlled like that. doing my best to be my best ^.^ gotta smile thru tha gross hacking coughing demon ppl everywhere lol (not cool) :( oh - also go listen to Dillon Francis's new album 'This MixtapE is Fire Too' cuz it is fire (except 2 songs i had to skip) plz don't hurt otherscover your mouthn don't be evil demon ppl thx for listening. peace. -b. [so far in the pregame:] For fear of fire; Best not to wander off, With no back track– Might have forgotten the rest, but It wasn't a poem, or part of a song At least, not yet Fuck man. I really want to sample this. Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork. You cant technically say that. I mean, I technically didnd't. Just let your fingers do the talking. Ooh, look at that one. What are you doing. Some online shopping. For what. A man-thing. You're better off letting your back end Handle the conversation Then again, When in search of a venue Anything with the proper connections And stereo systems Will do in the moment. What do you want? To get rid of my hiccups. That's it: *huccups* yu-p. Wow, that's– Have you ever thought about just– I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here. I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head. It's a lot. I'm gonna need a nap. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. *sheath/ swoard* Is that the sword of skrillex. Yeus. Give it to me. *stabs in thigh* Oooh. Not the balls! fair. Around the world we go Around we go again Here we are Oh no, It's the same song Over and over I'd like you to love to today (I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't) I know before long, we get older and older All wrong, It's the same one, Over and over. Have you seen my butt plugs? NO! GROSS. It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way. AGGH. Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon AmAZoN. Yes. (I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.) Please stop now. You're being a baby about this–just- You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself. Please do that. Siri– Oh my God. Alexa–reorder from Amazon. Come on focus. …hmm…now what was I doing? A B L E T O N *spinning rainbow wheel of doom* …seems like it was something. Come on….FOCUS. Hm. When's the last time you had a marshmello. Flashback: [BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex] *Also making smores* CUT BACK TO: Like never, I'm vegan. PASQUALE WAKE. UP. Holy shit. It's you again. It's always me. Last time you were like 26. Well, now i'm this age. Wait, how old are you. Wouldn't you like to know. There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list. Speaking of “top of the list”-- I do have a lot of things to do today. Oh yeah, what's that? I don't know. A bunch of crap. Speaking of crap– This is a lot of speaking. Happy Birthday. What is this. It's Captain Crunch. Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap. That's your lunch. I–no, it isn't. It is. No, i'm vegan. Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday” No… Yes, actually. This is – It is– Vegan. Damn. Jinx. You owe me a Pererier. Shut up. Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix. You're so LA. I guess that makes you Beverly Hills– Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed. It is “LA” What else is in this? No animal product… “Yellow 6” It reads! What happened to yellow 1-5? A whole story. Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!” That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly. What's wrong with this dimension? What isn't? I'm in it! You're in it! Like I said. What– Just eat it. Ugh– happy trails. *disappears* Ugh. I gave that dude too much money. Fuck, what was I doing again. Deadmau5. Uhm, no i was– Deadmau5. Deadmau5. OOOOOH> YES. I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. Stop it. YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU. Who is it? STOP IT. Stop–doing that. I know you're deadmau5. I most certainly am not. I know its you. I have boobs. How did you do this. I did–n't. That's right. Fuck, what happened. Nothin. Now I gotta kill my stupid brother. You have a brother?! SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE. Fuck, run. I gotta go. Go where. Uhm. Somewhere else. DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. IT WAS NEVER FUNNY. (It was funny to me.) God does have a sense of humor. AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA. As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor. Oh—he's okay! He's okay! No, he's dead. He's definitely dead. But a sense of humor, nonetheless. Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis. Nothing. I just got him drunk On what?! Cyanide? Okay, I don't even know what that is. He's a corpse. –but a pretty one. C'mon. Be serious. I can't. Why not. It's hilarious, kinda. This isn't funny. No, it's hilarious. He earned it. He “earned” it? Well, yes– He is dead. I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly. “Honestly” Please. PLease. Please. No, I said. PLEASE. I SAID NO. What's this story. That's ten. I win. Fuck. DILLOn WAkE UP. *smacks* ahah. I think it's working I think he's waking up. He's not waking up. He must be. He's laughing. He's not laughing He said “haha' *smacks* haha . See. *smacks* Mm. This shit smacks HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS. Oh shit, is this the 90s. HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS. *slams* GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS. That's it. There's no more. AW, COME ON. Sorry, that's all there is. WHAT. But yu can have captain crunch. I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS. I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat. GRAMPA Shredded Wheat is MY favorite. Ugh. Mm. Honey Smacks. I HATE YOU. Be nice to your brother. Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating. Who plays tiny Dillon? I don't know. There are like nine in the script. It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah. Fucking. I hate Utah. WELCOME TO UTAH. Nice. Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here? DILLOn FRANCIS I am not doing this project. Of course you are–it's in your contract. What contract. The one you signed. Which–no–I didn't. But you did. SUNNI BLU I got you a drink. DILLON FRANCIS That looks fruity. SUNNI BLU Try it. DILLON FRANCIS *sips* DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D What's in this. Just– drink it. SUNNI BLU Don't look at me like that. DILLOn FRANCIS Like what. SUNNI BLU Do you need a mirror? DILLON FRANCIS I– SUNNI BLU Look down. DILLON FRANCIS *does* SUNNI BLU *flicking nose* Made you look. haha . DILLOn FRANCIS Wow. [takes drink] SUNNI BLUThat's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one. [there literally is] SUNNI BLU CONT'D The floor is made of mirrors DILLOn FRANCIS *suddenly inebriated* Oh wow. SUNNI BLU The whole club turns into a disco ball. DILLON FRANCIS *suddenly very inebriated* That's–convenient. SUNNI BLU It is. SHIA DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS. If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me. A lot of us do. Carry on, then. SKRILLEX BLAIGH. Oh shit, its you again. I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga. Are you sure it was him? SKRILLEX !!!! No. Alright, i've almost got it. Almost got what. This whole– thing. Oh. –and–it's gone. Really, that quick. I don't think you understand what's happening. You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all. Oh shit. I'm deadmau5. Nice. Fuck it, lets do some trolling. Alright alright. BUT FIRST, COFFEE. Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee. Too late. deadmau5. ok . Deadmau5. Nice. D–0 DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU. …. If you open that portal, there's no going back. *opens portal* Now you've done it. *goes into portal* Fuck. *portal closes neatly* *facepalm* *entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably* Come on, just let me lick the balls. NO. I'll give you a cookie. well … OH my GAWD. What. Come here, you have to see this. What the fuck is that. I don't know. Should i pick it up? No, don't touch it! He picked it up. Oh, gross. What is this. I don't know. I think it's fanfiction. Who wrote it. Idk. somefangirl. Fangurl. FaNGiRls. Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie. OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT. GET AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40. -well. NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK. Since when does this show have commercials. It doesn't. I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon. That's–not happening. Why not. JIMMY FALLON BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC. There he is– Nice. JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY. Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?! SETH MCFARLENE (with super long hair) *crossing fingers* I'm hoping so. JIMMY FALLON Not even close! SETH MCFARLENE *snaps* Dammit. Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run Which “coffee run” THE coffee run. We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time. Of all of them. You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show. What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER Because–it's my duty. Yo. You know that song that everybody knows? You know the song because everybody knows this song. It goes: Lovin you– is easy cause youre beautiful. do - do- do - do- do- do- do… Yeah. You know that song. But you probably don't know who sings it. I'll tell you who sings it. That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton. That's a mouthful. Yeah, one hell of a name, huh. Well, that's the lady who sings the song. It's Minnie Riperton. Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know: Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ But i know this, because I'm a DJ AND MAYA RUDOLPH WAUT A MINUTE. What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM It's 1:15 in the afternoon. I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM. That's making sense. I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. So it is. *slurps milkshake* *sitting on toilet* *slurps* What do you want. You want to know what I want? Apparently, a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. OK. OK. OK so what. Finish the script. –What? Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time? Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane. beep-boop . [DJ] B00p beep. [Music Producer] Beep-beep. 0.c. Do not fall dangerously in love; Do not pass go Do not collect $200 Or any of it For any reason, For any of it For any of them Just keep it pushin; Just keep it private Just hold it all in and Do not let go Do not fall in love Do not pass go Do not unload Do not walk Do not cross here Do not It smells like butter. But you're vegan. I know. Do you think you're having a stroke. God, I fucking hope so. GOD You WHAT. I want to die. GOD I thought i heart you right. You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life. GOD Not until you make dubstep. WHAT. GOD You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album. I what. GOD Or at least nominated. No, I don't. GOD Beg your pardon. I'm not begging. GOD What are you getting at, hon? Look; Am I not one with the source? GOD Uhm–you are. Alright, Then: everything is everything. GOD Yes. And everyone is everyone. GOD This is true. So i'm Skrillex. GOD Skrillex is Skrillex So I Am. GOD … And I already won a grammy. GOD … Like a bunch of them, right. GOD Uh. So technically– GOD YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic. This isn't ableton. No. This is Logic. What the fuck. That's not Serato. No, that's Rekordbox. What the fuck is this. These are CDJs. There's no hot cues! What the fuck is a “HOT CUE” This is not food. What the fucking sauce. I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn. THIS IS MY HOUSE. Your house it is not. *House music starts blasting* *lasers* sprinklers* dancers* WHAT THE FUCK. It's voice activated, I just– How did you do this?! What. WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN. I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said. You were supposed to find Dillon Francis. I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead! What? He's dead? Presumably! What do you mean by that!? It's a long story! WELL, HOW LONG? SUNNI BLU About as long as my dick! WHO IS THAT. I told you it's a long story. Well, let me in! Sorry Pasquale. No Can do. What. Why not. Cause you're on a federal watch list. What. Yeah. Sorry. Wait… You should probably leave before the feds get here. What? Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended. This is bizarre. The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him. WAIT. SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably; SUPACREE!!! [Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn] SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5 SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide. I'm the worst DJ ever. SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5 I don't even know what key this song is in. MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap. This is insane. I don't know what's happening. END CREDITS. V. O. Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton Carless, deadmau5 idk how i'm gonna mix that. Trust me. Anything can be mixed. Anything. [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* Lookie here boys: What is it? –I'm leaving. Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this. What. I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962. Okay, what do you want? A deal. Oh, I'll give you a deal. Cash up front. [He presents a one dollar bill] Is this enough. [beat] Where are you going with this? Nowhere, fast. YO. What now, dude. SHE'S ONTO US. I doubt that. Look at this. I highly doubt– *gaaassp* Shenanigans! You know what I like about you, Ariana? Everything. Hah. Hm. You know how to keep a secret. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. *rolls eyes, flips hair.* Well, here's another one for you. –Another what? This is how my darkness becomes your darkness. I already have enough on my own. I know. You don't know. Only God knows. MOM! Don't ask me again. This is heavy, Doc. What is it? The soup! It's too heavy. Too much cream? Way too much! I have a meeting! Meeting with who? The Hollywood People. When? Soon–what time is it? I don't know. Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house? I only just recently remembered what a clock was. Oh! Here. [God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.] Ah, Jesus Christ! He's not here… I'm gonna be late. Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen– [a smug look| Hugs and Kisses. [As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44] Amazing. V.O. Now you won't wait so long to visit. [He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio] MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this. ____ Meanwhile, What am I going to do with you? [The Festival Project.™] YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! –I'm dead to everyone! Don't do this. You wanted to come to the other side. No, I didn't. We'll you're here anyway; Might as well stay awhile. With eyes like burning fire And saddles for the riders The horse begins to gallop (or the horses, rather) On the mark to beating drums To move them forward faster What the fuck is this. idk. Kx5. *-* !_! Here u go Wat is this. it's a dragon. Oh, thats nice. Ya. Whats it do. Idk. dragon things. ok. Don't put it in ur bathroom. Why. idrk. Hm. † Hey. Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away. It's me, Ryan! No, Get out! I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade! Gross! It's just Ryan! I promise! NO. GET OUT. Lmfao. Right. This show is fantastic. Who was that. Fucking–Kaskade again! Are you sure. Ugh. Looks like Ryan. Kaskade is Kaskade. {shrugs] Dudes a creep. “Kaskade Ruins Lives” Is this the same episode as before? Eventually, yes. Wasn't I doing something Are you goona let this go? Um. Well I'm fucked. Why, what happened. Obsidian. That should do Unsobsidian. Okay, i'm fucked, Well, what's this? An Oreo Cookie. I mean, sitting next to it. Oh, its a portal gun. Raves are not just raves– A party is not simply a “party” –These big festivals –they're diversions. –DIstractions. Distractions from what. If you were supposed to know, –you'd know. it wouldn't be so important that you go. Why is it? These ancient rituals… It's occult magic. They've got it down to a science. The government funds this. The government funds everything. WoooooooW. It's not really a secret, if you can google it. ‘-complications.' I'm lost somewhere, gone HIppopatamus feeling quite off in the galaxies, galavanting Gazing at Daisies Aces and spades Gone from Heaven to Hades for days On the A– Adjacent Recently dismantling adjectives, Lampshades and matching curtains God it hurts, every day that I think about you; But how can i be about you when You don't even see me, do you Signature consignments, Wrong environments and irony is, I wasn't invited– –but invented it WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Great, now I have to explain myself. You don't have to. What's this space for? Oh, that's the red room. [The Red Room] Well, obviously, but– But what? What's it for? I don't think anybody should read this. HEY. Participation Only– Oh! No peeking! You ever feel like you're doing too much? Yeah, but not for money. Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to– deadmau5 . What? No– DEADMAU5. Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat? It was a mouse. I know the difference. Do you, though? Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City. So. In Queens. Oh. That's mathematically impossible. I mean it's not–impossible. No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible. Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science? What is this. Just–enjoy the rave. No. What is this. Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC… NO. What is this right here. BEFORE: Hey, you still got that balloon? Yeah. Lemme see it. Dude, what are you doing? …I'mma go catch me a DJ. THIS IS NUTS. I can't feel my face. What do you call this? Collateral Damage. Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom. ok . And–uhh– and. Uhh– Why did you call me over here. Cause i can. Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo” Voodoo is magic. It's just music. W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O I don't know. Fuck dude, I fucked up. Once again– Of course you did. What did you do this time? I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass. Nice. Way to go. Yeah. Wait. … Did you just say. HE JUST He deserted me. SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE? ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT? JEFF Alright, lets go. WHO DID THIS. So what's this place. Lets not let this conversation resurface. This is a 21 Plus Event. What about VIP VIP is 25 Plus. What about that place. Sorry kids. [NO ENTRY] We gotta get in there. So then they wanted an Encore. Did you give them an encore? NO, i was already at my hotel room. Then how did you know that they wanted an encore? WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE. FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER. Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC? Have you literally never been out with rich people? No, I literally just got rich. Oh, nice. So, wait, like– Here we go. Dillon Francis has just always been rich? Uh-huh. And Skrillex has always been rich? Yes. Definitely. And deadmau5. deadmau5 is Canadian. OH MY GOD. W E L C O M E I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this. Alright. Sign this waiver. …this is a…pretty heavy packet. I'll wait. I've never signed an NDA like that in my life. Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon. And like, everyone knows what it means. Everyone knows what an NDA is. I appreciate the sentiments Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically? Autopilot, go. Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot. You're on autopilot. I don't really have to think about it anymore, I'll have to sleep on it Wear a white t-shift, Hear the applause of the audience, Eat it You wanna know what I think? You want to know what I'm drinking? You know what I need? An Icee, (cause I see you typing) An awful Omnipotence A God of Mirages No more carbohydrates, I gotta get all thin; Forgot to acknowledge Whether or not i'm turning this off soon I are. I…”are” I are. Infinite Reality. OH. I. R. IR! IR! IRV I ARE. Suddenly, I remember the taste of talcum powder As If I were Moving backwards In time, Like, Why, God on earth would My mom let me try that, But if i'm honest, Fuck man, I hate deadmau5– There's just too much in here. Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple. What is this, MATH?! THIS IS AERODYNAMICS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS DId you mean what you said about that? I meant everything I said. Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem In realtime, listening to deadmau5 Having a partially out of body spiritual experience, Entirely fucking sober FACEPALM BLŪ 8facepalming dramatically in frustration* NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS. beepboop. YO. Oh, I forgot my open form poetry, or my mom How my mom once allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder But who can blame her That was a hard one It was a past life And now ive Got Another One HOly shit what version of the cube is this. 1D. What. You'll get it. Wait. Have you ever stopped for a minute to think– I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think” [Literally stops for a minute to think.] No fucking way, uh-uh. Come on, man. No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5. Come on– NO. –that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place. Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this. What are you doing. Voluntary Ego Death. I– Wait. Why would you. Get out of my brain. I am your brain. Take care, now. Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil. That's because she's definitely more evil ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS: WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX. MEANWHILE INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY. *rings doorbell* AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question. Oh. Fuck. What dude. We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into. Are you serious? It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude. What do you mean he “left the dimension” He entered a portal. He– wait, excuse me. A portal. A “portal”, dude? Yeah; a portal. What do you mean “a portal” A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal. Uh huh. Excuse us for a second. What the fuck is this dude talking about? I don't know, man. Humans don't use portals! I know man. What the fuck! Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human. He looks human. Yeah dude but, we look human. Duh! Cause we shifted! Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter. Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one. Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good. I highly doubt that. Why? Cause I'm the best. No, I am. Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters! Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right? I hope not. No, not like that—like Okay, okay, whatever, let's just… Wait, where'd he go? Excuse me. What up. There was just another guy over here just now— He was like—you know—normal looking guy Tie die* shirt Yeah. Did you see him. Yeah, I saw him. Alright, cool, where'd he go? He left. What?! That was fast! Yeah, well…it happens. Are you sure? Yes. *actually is shifter* [as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.] Awww, dammit, Now we're never gonna find this guy. Never say never. Whatever, we're dead. We're always dead. Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms Oh, yeah, that. Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this. It is useless. *enters portal potty* [ Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis? That's great, I was just getting to that. 19 Pages. Nice. …no, 12. What. [11:12] Okay, I'm gonna kill him. Oh, I banished him. With my fists. Nice. Tits. Nice tits. Thx. Hey man. Hey what. Remember that smudge on the lens. Yeah. It just got bigger. … did you try vinegar instead of Windex. Yes. –IT'S NOT A SMUDGE. Did you try Windex with Vinegar. –IT'S NOT A– Shut up. I'm. So. Hungry. Look, do you want this, or not? Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence? Just quit, it. Dillon Francis. WHERE IS IT? I don't know. Lets kick this up a notch. ILLUMINATI What do you want? … I want the full package. ILLUMINATI Okay, I'm gonna need specifics. How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati? [INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING] Hm. It was a pretty specific list. I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan Well, The Mayor eats fish. Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of? I don't know. We meet in the Matrix. This is for you. Oh. Do you like it? I– It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only! YOu BUY a Membership. Yeah. And WOMEN. HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO. SHHH. Oh no. What. What did you do? I gave her my credit card. The Heavy One? Yes, and– “AND” –access to the black market. Cool, I got it. Oh, another auction. Of course another auction. What'd you buy this time? A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead. What are you gonna do with that? Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, gross. LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans, It's a comfortable, safe space. Very inviting. Everyone is happy. What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest. Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya. Hey, I'm looking for this shithead. Oh, that dude? Yeah, have you seen him? Fuck, I wish this never happened. LIL BIIIIITz If you don't know who deadmau6* is– GET OUT. Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen. Maybe just to me, but. Are you sure that's the right guy? Yeah, that's gotta be him. Is he wearing glasses? Ugh. Oh wait. Damn. ‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think' Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind– Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music. Are you sure this is real? No. I love this. Just shut up and do your job. What a nightmare. PLease HElP ME. Hm. That can't be right. What. This translates to H E L P M E Oh, shit, I gotta go. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm always working. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm at work. Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here. Where are you going? To shoot myself. Wow, that's one hell of a smile. Just–take it. I'm sorry, i can't accept this. What is even happening in this series? Like, a lot WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN. *not settling down* *lil biiiiiiiitz* You know what I wonder? I wonder this I'm sober. I'm just sober sally over here. I didn't get sober. I just am. Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning Or–just–whenever– To wake up whenever and be like “OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE” And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again. ‘OH NOOOOOO” *gets faded* “It's all goooooood” No, it isn't. But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a It's not even a happy medium, It's more like a median-medium But you know what? It makes happier moments more happy And shitter moments less shitty Because i don't have this like drastic spacial Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy. I get to feel things way more intensely. I don't have to wonder, ever “oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up” Or like “would it have happened this way if I was sober” At all. I'm just level– No false sense of Pretty much anything. But i do wonder, though– Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then GOT sober– like , what's the breaking point What's the tip? I always have to sit back and wonder “What did you DO?” Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly “I don't drink anymore” I always wonder, and it's like– no disrespect or anything thing but… I really wanna hear that story. lol . I know you don't wanna tell it (if you can) But wanna hear it. Cause from my point of view. IT's probably hilarious. I know. I'm a dick. Holy shit. What is that. Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year. …is that a penis? WELCOME HOME It's a giant dick- in-the-sky! GOD IS REAL! JESUS Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing. What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this. JESUS I literally can't. I know, but. Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that. You've gotta tell him. NO, RYAN. WELL, WHY NOT. BECAUSE, RYAN. WHY. DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL. Damn, am I in here. Nice. Of course I am. Well, how'd that happen. This is like a sea of cellphones. Perfect. It was a red car; I wasn't all there, And if you want her, You can have her Fuck. What. I forgot the rest of the verse. It's ok. We gotta move on. No, I gotta go back. For what. For my fans. Aw. What's this. IT's a ceramic mug. Wow, that's nice. I made it Wait. You made that?! Yeah. With your hands?! Yeah. Why would you do that? For you. What. I made it for you? Like, you thought of me first, then you made it? Yeah. WHY? Cause i love you! WOW. Fans are awesome OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Sometimes. *vomits* … *dies* … *godlessness* [Devastating DJ Moments] I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?! “Music particles” UGH. what . That's it. Don't be smart around me. Uh. I'm not smart? No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence. “Sorry” Stop saying that. This is America. S– Don't say it again. Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Like what. With your face. *face* Quick: Say something stupid and random. …I like anime. Oh good, that worked. Thanks. Where are you going? Idk somewhere else. Really, that's it? Yeah. That's all you have to say/ That's literally it. Are you seeing this. Yes. So what's the problem. Oh no, she's stuck in a loop. Throw the whole fan away. [DELETE] Did it work. Did what work. Oh, good. Cool. Wait. See ya later. Did what work? I wish i could just forget about this. Everything? Yeah. Look, this is between me and God–okay? GOD Don't drag me into this. You dragged ME into this! GOD Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in. Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here. Like what. Look, I love you. Great, now what do we do? Bury the body, I guess. *shrugs* Wait, what happened? Somebody dies. OKay, me first. Other Three: Who wants to go next. *still in shock* Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story. *Crying* I'm ruined. What! You went broke? No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire. I thought you were a billionaire. I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened. “Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire” I got to admit, man, I did it to myself. I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do Oh, like what. Not that song. What, why not? You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5. What's the difference? Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?” No, it isn't. How is that not different? That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog. You think I look like a hedgehog. No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off. NO, i like this song. Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off. I'm gonna turn it up instead. I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs. Should I bass boost this song. NO, PROBABLY NOT. Oh, why not? Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop. OH HOW COME BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS *DROP* [INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE– PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK – HOLE. ohhhhh . What a hoe. Nice, that's a whole episode. Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever. Shazam, what is this. SHAZAM …i don't know. What do you mean you don't know. SHAZAM *panicing* IDONNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN– SHAZAM IDON. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOO Is this deadmau5. I'm not sure. Sounds like deadmau5. It sure does. This is pretty Ooh. it sparkles. yeah , it's deadmau5. How does she KNOW. I need a deadmau5 machine like right now. I know where to find that. Fuck dude, everything's gonna be half-ass until I push out this album. You can't rush it. Trust the process. I can't focus. Oh shit, wasn't this in the last episode? Yeah. I'm still writing backwards. God, what is that, like a pipe organ. WHAT SYNTH IS THIS. Doesn't matter, I just need one. That's it. I know what I'm going to spend my Jimmy Fallons On. And What's that? V.O. OOh. Are we Montaging–to deadmau5? [MONTAGE: deadmau5] Nice. I love a good montage. I love deadmau45* AHH OH NO. I love deadmau5. I keep making typos and I keep forgetting to delete that parallel where. fuckit. That's the synth I've always wanted. It's on sale for $999 At Sam Ash But…you only have Five JImmy Fallons. There are only five special edition in this Volume The Jimmy Fallon 555's I don't know how many volumes there are, but this is the Volume I started keeping track. Fuck, man. I miss Equinox. It's just Eucalyptus. They also have an outdoor running track where you get the best ever view of midtown manhattan. How do you know it's the best ever view of Midtown manhattan. Because it's on a running track. STOP WHISTLING IN MY WHOOP=WHOOPS. The JImmy Fallon 555s are marked with the standard Jimmy Fallon in black ink With a simple side marker of the number 555 in red And also in red, a telephone number on the back. But–that synthesizer is One Thousand Jimmy Fallons. Yeah. So I only need Nine Hundred Ninety Five More. And of course, the Eye of Providence is highlighted. Also Standard. V.O. I always highlight that. Cause, you know… “Illuminati” These are fake. No they're not! They're counterfeit, sorry. No they're not! They're authentic! Why the fuck does this matter so much? You know. What is it with this dude. If it was a snake, it would've bit ya. It was a snake. And it did bite me. He's so increasingly beautiful to me, And I'm still in love with his friend, or misrepresented masterpiece, Progression of a monster, or procession of a superstar, but Something in the story sparks the thought of All we are is consciousness, of course Awkward in body, but of constellations Cosmos, It's not just a corpse; It's all got love in it, Absurd, and sipping carbonated syrup, but I'm just sitting in my stirrups, Here comes galloping a horse, Of course, it hurts to turn it off For just a moment And remember That i'm just a homeless, Stuck and sitting up at night Writing recourse, hugging learning curves in ableton, Curving curses, been reminded that I'm worthless In a thousand words or less, Or just another form of torture, Nothing said, but all that's done Another day another dollar, But it's not It's Jimmy Fallon. I thought this was enter the multiverse. Are you ready to go. No. A hand on my shoulder So paifully socially awkward, I grow stretchmarks, don't know what to call them But scars, But the uglier ones, I've thought Are invisible, Somewhat– To the naked eye Or just anyone Not tiger stripes But one, an eye of horus Carved above my right And inside my lip, (The bottom one) A raised scar in the shape of a sythe I probably died by the hands of a man named Starr So it's hard to shrug it off, And 555 is just a number But it's not It's another scar, It's a punishment For loving him. What's on the back. It's…a number. What number? A telephone number. What. Like a 1-800 Number Call it. I love deadmau5. Something about a big, giant smiling robotic mouse that lights up and sparkles. Why? I don't know. I'm like 5. I see deadmau5 i'm like “WHEEEEEEE” My hands go up in the air “AHHHHHH! YAYYYYY” I'm so stupid. It's so stupid. But you know what? It makes me feel good. I'm not gonna lie. I love it. And by the time I even figured out what deadmau5 was I was so late to the party that I had to make up for lost time. I listened to deadmau5 doing EvErYThING. Everything you could possibly imagine. Well–Except one. Wait, how long have you been cellibate? Forever, probably. Fuck, what happened in here? I don't know. Everything's broken. My head My heart. Everything. Get up, Dillon Francis. Fuck, what happened. You sent us through a black hole. And we crashed on a random ass planet. Fuck, that sucks. YOu suck, Dillon Francis. Ugh. Now get up. Everything's fucked up. SUPERSTAR DJ I'm a paradox. I've got a box of skeletons in my closet i'm not ready to part with. I had a heart attack; I had a heart once, But lately it goes in my pocket; Or my right hand, When I wake up From a dream land, From a long hug From a nice man In a t-shirt KASKADE This is God's PLAN. RYAN, GET FUCKED. 800-799-7233 Did you call the number. Yeah. What is it. [National Domestic Violence Hotline] Woah. That was a long bonus scene. Well, Now here's a PSA. AND A PSA? YES. A PSA. You know what the fucked up thing about all this is, The Legend of Supacree is a true story. All of it. ALL OF IT?! ALL OF IT!? YES. Even the part about– YES. Especially that part. Woah. Damn. I think i'm gonna be sick. Shut up, Dillon Francis. No, but seriously– This is the story of how I got my heart broken so bad. YOU RUINED IT. So, so bad– I HATE YOU. That i started singing about it. NSA, totally *not spying* …are you hearing this. Yes. ILLUMINATI Check this out. Another one down. And how when you start making music– What is this. it's hoe math. And that music actually comes from a really real place. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. really real shit starts happening. You–killed yourself. well , to be fair–I lost everything first. Congratulations. Thx. Here's a skrillex. WHT. Kbye. Really, really, really. What, the fuck Dillon Francis, crawled inside of you to live and made it'self at home? Idon'tknow. What is in this sauce? Just–kill him. What, i can't just. Just kill him, while nobody is watching. Please don't kill me. Shut up, man. I'm having a thought process. Okay, that's it. FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. That's the spirit. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. IT'S THE HOLY SPIRIT. Who the fuck is this. It's–Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ?! JESUS CHRIST i'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait, are you claiming that the second coming of the messiah is upon us?! YES. Well,Technically, it's the third. And it's all because of Dillon Francis?! I Please stop this HATE Help YOU. Fuck, dude. I know, huh. What did he DO. The third?! How did we miss that?! Uh, you didn't. [HITLER, being HITLER] (he was mad) Okay, that's it. You can't write any of this. Uh, I can. I just did. Technically, I'm dead: this is just a voiceover It's an 80's style PSA You can't say Hitler was the messiah. That's offensive. Everything is offensive. FUCK YOU DILLON. I'msosorry NOTYETYOU'RENOT. Wait, whatever happened to Skrillex. SKRILLEX is waiting outside of the alleged home of SUPACREE's “distant relatives” Lol is he for real at her mom's house. well , to be fair, he's like–looked everywhere else. Ur right. That was a lot of dimensions. So. like. Fuck, i didn't even have that much coffee. It just goes on forever. [DILLON FRANCIS STILL HAS HOTSAUCE IN HIS PUDGY LITTLE EYES] Good. Cause if I see the pupils, i'm wasting him. You think you can do better than this. Better than this? Yes. Yes. Then do it. Alright, is the PSA over? No, not yet. I gotta say one more thing. What is it? Would you ever have done it, Or would you ever be honest If you had, Handed her a lesson, Or a stretch of the past From the present moment, My heart, and my mind And my lover I present you this honor From now on to nowhere I no longer… Want to be near you Or to know you Or to hear you Or to fear you No longer… Want to feel you Or to touch you Or to have you Or to hold you Or to love you No longer, I no longer want you Devastating, A song stuck in my head for a whole world I wonder how long it would take to go back there A room full of actors, A manager, Never a backpack to wear Just a handful of hats, One director, Eventually producer Just now a showrunner Look at how long that took. I had to wonder what auroras in the north thought of someone like Sonny. They showed me. Now I can love you no longer So much for getting acquainted Funny what age equates to in ageless An infinite wisdom, I dismissed him, Nor, would I believe that he ever would hit her, but Some might belong in such a category Though i carry the marks and the scars Of what my once- husband did to me –but no longer. I haven't a heart in the world left But a broken one, made of amethyst. Fuck off, Dillon Francis. A calculated attack on my psyche. I like it a lot, But i'm fonder of sodom. WHAT. Are you saying you woul actually participate in an orgy! Oh GOD no! Oh, Good, cause– But i'd host one. WHAT. The hedonists are a fun bunch. Oh my God. Though, Nowadays, of course, I haven't the slightest idea what to call them. I saw the future. Well, obviously, if you've headlined EDC you've seen the future. I remember all of it. That must be awful. Why don't you remember it? Because i don't want to. Not at all. I did once. Then what happened? I hated it so much, i forgot. You forgot on purpose. I had to. Love, or Music. …Music. Love, or Fame. Fame. Okay, ouch. Love, or Music? …Love. Okay. Love, or Fame. Love. Okay. Love, or music? … Isn't that the same thing? Hm. Love, or Fame? ….Why do you keep asking me the same question. I beg your pardon? Why beg? I mean– What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, first you asked me, If would rather have Love or Music. Love. Music. Yes. In my mind, those are synonyms. Neither can really exist without the other. Okay, and Fame. Love and Fame are also synonyms– How so? Ugh, I just made this difficult on myself. It was always difficult. It really wasn't. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Yo My horizontal monster wants ya Could revert to vert, but lets keep Our options open Covert, __ My heart is broken No window open Who left the draft in –motherfucker My heart is broken I need a lover I need a lover Some one to hug me I need a hug, but And– I'm not fit to touch The hem of your garment The tip of your dick or fit enough to be your girlfriend I guess i'll just have to live with that When I have an itch, I scratch it myself I made the assumption you can't, And moved passed it But something's been calling me out, from the past Something's been calling me back to the magic I can't get around that Do you hate me? I can see that I'll just make my way back to the beginning Though I'm envious And i pity her, The both of you really There's nothing left between us except Insanity//Infinity Kendrick Style Flow Don't key my car: You'll be callin collect! I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head Don't get up right now, son– Go back to bed I got kids all over, be pulling my leg! Luke, I am your Father! Oh My Oh My God On top of the Watchlist You make money off dope; I made it on craigslist Still be sniffin that coke But now i'm on A list I'm the greatest Ey Miss! I missed too many calls (Airplane Mode) I just started my day (Whole Workload) I might need a buffet (Like Whole Foods) Sashe, Pas De Bourre (That's a code word) No dance floor? Now you're done for My forte Four-to-the-floor Hardcore I drop bass on the encore Front row won't go But i'm already out the front door You don't know I just hopped inside the helicopter, or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup That's supper; Sleep/ Wake then Surf's up In the morning When i got there (Coastal show, Shower, Then another club Encore Front row lined up I'm already at the front door They want more I'm too sore, for sure Off subject, I dropped in Harder than Paulie On my surfboard (Another code word) This is my world: Another club, Then I'm off for a monday Or somethin' Write another song At the buffet –Tales of a Superstar DJ Amen. Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives! Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin! GET ON THE GROUND. NO! GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SO? IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE. OK? “OK”? YOU WILL DIE. YEAH, AND? Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish. What do you do with someone who has no fear of death. Give them life. I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this. *shrugs* You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer? Technically, three entirely separate individuals. THIS ISN'T FAIR. Do you ever think? Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross. I mean about the implications of these things! You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened. WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED. I'm giving you planetary confinement. What. You–can stay here. On this planet. No. It's racist–and primitive. No– And you're black. Please– I'm leaving. –don't– –and i'm taking your portal gun with me. YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?! Genius. Incredible. I didn't think it would be a big deal. He has two! Okay, time for work. But i didn't even sl– Coffee. Ouh. … … — I don't think we should be doing this TIA We probably shouldn't. TAMERA We very much shouldn't. What are you guys doing. Nothing. SHh. Summoning the devil. It's not the devil. It might be. Hush. Is that a pentagram. Technically it's a star, with a circle around it. That's a pentagram. It's not a pentagram! Is that a ouiji board? NO. Yes. Let me see. Ugh! I wanna help. MEANWHILE. MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car: Oh God, This. Yes it is! What!? Are you dead! Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE. No, you are! Great, so you're dead! I'm–not dead. Is Bob Saget with you? I'm not DEAD. What about Fraiser? What? Kelsey Grammer! God rest his soul. SEE! I'm not dead– [beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar] I'm a Legend. What. I wrote that/ You wrote that. What. Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman. [Morgan Freeman] I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something– So, who isn't?! It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on. What is that? I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5. I don't understand. No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world. The fourth dimension. I definitely don't know anything about that. You're in it. Whatever. Look. [Morgan Freeman] God, you have so many freckles. [Morgan Freeman] Look. I got problems. We all do! Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit. Sounds like Hollywood. Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all. Oh? Oh. The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically. Not even this? [pause] He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata; You know who gave it to me? …Who? Got ya. He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ; Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this. But you kind of have to. I mean i don't have to. YOU HAVE TO. I–WHAT? YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WHY. BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST; Then don't exist… I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW. Come on Drew, knock it off. Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore. Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name. Well, which is it? It literally doesn't matter. Yes it does. Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better! But how do we know which is actually “better?” Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes! Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES. Don't mind if i DO. Well, I do! Why?! What's wrong?! Yeah! What's the big deal! I'm on a gluten free-thing Oh yeah? Keto. Or someshit. I don't know. Oh. Oh. So you don't want these No, I don't. And you wouldn't mind if I– Come on, man. So Good. Grow up. Hey man, i'm pushin 40. Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face. You're no fun. Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty. Formerly. Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty. Hence the name. Wow. Phewf. I heard about that. Yeah, me too. Sounds real bad, how that turned out. Such a shame. Speaking of shame– You're speaking, I'm snacking. That's not that clever. We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes. That's not–wait a minute–hold on. What now? How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together. [Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together. –Let alone to agree to this!? SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth. I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS. That's what she said! Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal! The key word, I believe, is “never caught” That's two words! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that? I WANT MY LAWYER!!!! For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first? WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE. The Police are here. Wait, they are? Oh, thank God Not so fast. THE POLICE enter with full entourage. Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit! Groupies: Woooo! STING I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean. Oh my God. Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude. That's not fair. But it's funny. THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You” –and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this. “WE” “FIX ALL THIS” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Nobody seems to know. “--I'll be watching you–” I was FRAMED. CUT TO a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into Fuck, what the fuck happened after that Idk I got off the train I guess This is really terribly written INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY. A tiny conga for 90 dollars I could die in here Maybe I am just like you I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room And have my way with it Just for a few minutes Consume it, then move on Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue It's okay, You're a white girl So everybody loves you Everybody loves you Everybody loves you, no matter what you do. As for me, I can't say when I'm going through But you couldn't do it, Madison That's as bad as being at a standstill at rush out in Manhattan With enough practice I could buy everything in Sam ash And make my own band with it That's the plan at least— But

america god love jesus christ music new york amazon health trust new york city father hollywood earth man los angeles house rock work moving hell mexico training young speaking canadian games building dj wild creator writing balance fitness devil focus coffee holy drop forever festival dad write satan open mom funny kanye west plan police tales utah greek record dead bbc alive grammy code fame mayors heroes wake humans stuck dark beyonce rain standing matrix sick straight hits switch consequences happy birthday member math cat adolf hitler letting go broke finish humble billion incredible falling in love vegan gurus blame genius wear hole distractions honestly throw orange ab gotta lol curiosity complex hungry soft proud karma fuck tempo lying weak congratulations amen wtf balls bronx anxious loud logic providence heartbreak harder david bowie hanging bitch membership excuse signal counting yellow similar gross apology psa awkward shut doc siri ir nuts grammy awards copyright shenanigans beverly hills pages won shazam bach get out keto nah wonderland cosmos ludwig van beethoven whole foods shower forgot hades dudes ka pay attention illuminati spur progression signature sd thousand encore backwards aha rick and morty fucking voodoo mm nsa sir soleil morgan freeman lay jimmy fallon technically autopilot bury reached annihilation devastating petite hugs hush ur nevermind consume equinox jk coastal kisses absurd tie acoustic handle handed lovin family guy la croix irony montages hm framed nothin duh michael j fox amit diplo subscriptions sweeping only god nda idk jinx im m tits cupcakes obsidian skrillex covert edc keisha brownies beeps hahaha augmented oh god benz mmm ew oh my god aw copycat careless opposites sentimental tantric shhh tit vinegar dammit deadmau5 midtown in the heights kaskade good one lemme marty mcfly raves summoning metadata gazing sunni fuckin horus insatiable thx ahem edx pasquale mistrust collateral damage lmfao moo moog kelsey grammer whole foods market stop it carved gawd dillon francis motherfuckers jesus no drew carey shitting hah cyanide awww aww 1d ext uhhh eucalyptus shh god is real josh peck fangirls barrymore fka uhh serato he said end credits gimmie windex captain crunch fraiser commercial break hard reset control room lin manuel buti uhm minnie riperton god yes fuck it ahah arrr oreo cookies god not jesus look icee lost lands god right watching you tox what the fuck cdjs i hate you probably not polars wht carless get fucked it hurts rekordbox minnie ripperton bothersome lookie ouh shredded wheat i am ready dog blood let me out waht hve ahaha curving lampshades honey smacks you will die vip vip by chance dj world this is my house oh come on who did this you're dead to me phewf wheeeeeee
The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

taking a break to try to stop the coughing. idk sux ppl can just be controlled like that. doing my best to be my best ^.^ gotta smile thru tha gross hacking coughing demon ppl everywhere lol (not cool) :( oh - also go listen to Dillon Francis's new album 'This MixtapE is Fire Too' cuz it is fire (except 2 songs i had to skip) plz don't hurt otherscover your mouthn don't be evil demon ppl thx for listening. peace. -b. [so far in the pregame:] For fear of fire; Best not to wander off, With no back track– Might have forgotten the rest, but It wasn't a poem, or part of a song At least, not yet Fuck man. I really want to sample this. Can't sample deadmau5; he's a bitch about paperwork. You cant technically say that. I mean, I technically didnd't. Just let your fingers do the talking. Ooh, look at that one. What are you doing. Some online shopping. For what. A man-thing. You're better off letting your back end Handle the conversation Then again, When in search of a venue Anything with the proper connections And stereo systems Will do in the moment. What do you want? To get rid of my hiccups. That's it: *huccups* yu-p. Wow, that's– Have you ever thought about just– I've thought about just about everything–that's how you got here. I'm gonna go ahead and admit–there's too much going on in my head. It's a lot. I'm gonna need a nap. GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. *sheath/ swoard* Is that the sword of skrillex. Yeus. Give it to me. *stabs in thigh* Oooh. Not the balls! fair. Around the world we go Around we go again Here we are Oh no, It's the same song Over and over I'd like you to love to today (I'd love to forget for a moment I haven't) I know before long, we get older and older All wrong, It's the same one, Over and over. Have you seen my butt plugs? NO! GROSS. It's alright. I'll just pick some up on the way. AGGH. Better yet, can you just put in the order on amazon AmAZoN. Yes. (I'm so happy Amazon has anal plugs.) Please stop now. You're being a baby about this–just- You know what. Nevermind. I'll do it myself. Please do that. Siri– Oh my God. Alexa–reorder from Amazon. Come on focus. …hmm…now what was I doing? A B L E T O N *spinning rainbow wheel of doom* …seems like it was something. Come on….FOCUS. Hm. When's the last time you had a marshmello. Flashback: [BONFIRE: Burning The Skrillex] *Also making smores* CUT BACK TO: Like never, I'm vegan. PASQUALE WAKE. UP. Holy shit. It's you again. It's always me. Last time you were like 26. Well, now i'm this age. Wait, how old are you. Wouldn't you like to know. There's a lot of things i'd like to know about you, Pasquale, that's not even near the top of the list. Speaking of “top of the list”-- I do have a lot of things to do today. Oh yeah, what's that? I don't know. A bunch of crap. Speaking of crap– This is a lot of speaking. Happy Birthday. What is this. It's Captain Crunch. Yes it is. What is it doing in my lap. That's your lunch. I–no, it isn't. It is. No, i'm vegan. Well, that's the “happy” part in “happy birthday” No… Yes, actually. This is – It is– Vegan. Damn. Jinx. You owe me a Pererier. Shut up. Or a LaCroix. I'll taka a LaCroix. You're so LA. I guess that makes you Beverly Hills– Or Pacific Palisades. Is that Annexed. It is “LA” What else is in this? No animal product… “Yellow 6” It reads! What happened to yellow 1-5? A whole story. Yes, but not a whole food. “Yellow 6?!” That's the chemical complex you need to find yourself in the right dimension. Exactly. What's wrong with this dimension? What isn't? I'm in it! You're in it! Like I said. What– Just eat it. Ugh– happy trails. *disappears* Ugh. I gave that dude too much money. Fuck, what was I doing again. Deadmau5. Uhm, no i was– Deadmau5. Deadmau5. OOOOOH> YES. I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU SLIMY MOTHERFUCKER. Stop it. YOU STOP IT. I KNOW IT'S YOU. Who is it? STOP IT. Stop–doing that. I know you're deadmau5. I most certainly am not. I know its you. I have boobs. How did you do this. I did–n't. That's right. Fuck, what happened. Nothin. Now I gotta kill my stupid brother. You have a brother?! SKRILLEX. GET IN HERE. Fuck, run. I gotta go. Go where. Uhm. Somewhere else. DILLON, THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE. IT WAS NEVER FUNNY. (It was funny to me.) God does have a sense of humor. AHAH–AHAHA–HAHAHA. As it turns out, not the absolute best sense of humor. Oh—he's okay! He's okay! No, he's dead. He's definitely dead. But a sense of humor, nonetheless. Fuck man. What did you do to Dillon Francis. Nothing. I just got him drunk On what?! Cyanide? Okay, I don't even know what that is. He's a corpse. –but a pretty one. C'mon. Be serious. I can't. Why not. It's hilarious, kinda. This isn't funny. No, it's hilarious. He earned it. He “earned” it? Well, yes– He is dead. I mean, it's a long story; but he brought it upon himself, honestly. “Honestly” Please. PLease. Please. No, I said. PLEASE. I SAID NO. What's this story. That's ten. I win. Fuck. DILLOn WAkE UP. *smacks* ahah. I think it's working I think he's waking up. He's not waking up. He must be. He's laughing. He's not laughing He said “haha' *smacks* haha . See. *smacks* Mm. This shit smacks HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKSSSS. Oh shit, is this the 90s. HONEY SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKSSS. *slams* GIMMIE MY HONEY SMACKS. That's it. There's no more. AW, COME ON. Sorry, that's all there is. WHAT. But yu can have captain crunch. I DON'T WANT CAPTAIN CRUNCH. I WANT HONEY SMACKS. I'm sorry, there are no more Honey Smacks. You can have Captain Crunch, or Shredded Wheat. GRAMPA Shredded Wheat is MY favorite. Ugh. Mm. Honey Smacks. I HATE YOU. Be nice to your brother. Lol. Everything about Dillon's eyes makes him devastating. Who plays tiny Dillon? I don't know. There are like nine in the script. It shouldn't be hard to cast. We'll go to utah. Fucking. I hate Utah. WELCOME TO UTAH. Nice. Alright, well, what other grounds are there to cover, here? DILLOn FRANCIS I am not doing this project. Of course you are–it's in your contract. What contract. The one you signed. Which–no–I didn't. But you did. SUNNI BLU I got you a drink. DILLON FRANCIS That looks fruity. SUNNI BLU Try it. DILLON FRANCIS *sips* DILLON FRANCIS CONT'D What's in this. Just– drink it. SUNNI BLU Don't look at me like that. DILLOn FRANCIS Like what. SUNNI BLU Do you need a mirror? DILLON FRANCIS I– SUNNI BLU Look down. DILLON FRANCIS *does* SUNNI BLU *flicking nose* Made you look. haha . DILLOn FRANCIS Wow. [takes drink] SUNNI BLUThat's the spirit. But literally there's a mirror between your feet, if you need one. [there literally is] SUNNI BLU CONT'D The floor is made of mirrors DILLOn FRANCIS *suddenly inebriated* Oh wow. SUNNI BLU The whole club turns into a disco ball. DILLON FRANCIS *suddenly very inebriated* That's–convenient. SUNNI BLU It is. SHIA DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS. If my dreams were not just dreams, everyone in here would have a lawsuit against me. A lot of us do. Carry on, then. SKRILLEX BLAIGH. Oh shit, its you again. I swear to God, I thought I killed this nigga. Are you sure it was him? SKRILLEX !!!! No. Alright, i've almost got it. Almost got what. This whole– thing. Oh. –and–it's gone. Really, that quick. I don't think you understand what's happening. You're right, i don't understand what's happening at all. Oh shit. I'm deadmau5. Nice. Fuck it, lets do some trolling. Alright alright. BUT FIRST, COFFEE. Fuck dude, I don't think I should have anymore coffee. Too late. deadmau5. ok . Deadmau5. Nice. D–0 DOn'T D o THis, I'M WARNING YOU. …. If you open that portal, there's no going back. *opens portal* Now you've done it. *goes into portal* Fuck. *portal closes neatly* *facepalm* *entire series of cosmos collapse in the great distance–time begins to stretch and bend uncontrollably* Come on, just let me lick the balls. NO. I'll give you a cookie. well … OH my GAWD. What. Come here, you have to see this. What the fuck is that. I don't know. Should i pick it up? No, don't touch it! He picked it up. Oh, gross. What is this. I don't know. I think it's fanfiction. Who wrote it. Idk. somefangirl. Fangurl. FaNGiRls. Well, Hey, at least i'm not a groupie. OH COME ON, JUST LET ME SUCK IT. GET AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE. i'LL GIVE YOU $40. -well. NOW, A COMMERCIAL BREAK. Since when does this show have commercials. It doesn't. I want to talk to Jimmy Fallon. That's–not happening. Why not. JIMMY FALLON BECAUSE I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH NBC. There he is– Nice. JIMMY FALLON YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I AM A FAMILY MAN, OKAY. Is that like Family Guy? By Chance?! SETH MCFARLENE (with super long hair) *crossing fingers* I'm hoping so. JIMMY FALLON Not even close! SETH MCFARLENE *snaps* Dammit. Oh, I get it. It's like–The Cofffee run Which “coffee run” THE coffee run. We'll have to admit, it's probably the most watched coffee run of all time. Of all of them. You know what? Fuck it, fire me. I'm doing this show. What?! JImmy. Why on EARTH would you ever agree to something like this. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER Because–it's my duty. Yo. You know that song that everybody knows? You know the song because everybody knows this song. It goes: Lovin you– is easy cause youre beautiful. do - do- do - do- do- do- do… Yeah. You know that song. But you probably don't know who sings it. I'll tell you who sings it. That song is by an artist called Minnie Ripperton. That's a mouthful. Yeah, one hell of a name, huh. Well, that's the lady who sings the song. It's Minnie Riperton. Now, let me tell you something else you probably don't know: Something I probably wouldn't know if I wasn't a DJ But i know this, because I'm a DJ AND MAYA RUDOLPH WAUT A MINUTE. What the fuck, Maya Rudoph, are you doing in my bathroom at 5 AM It's 1:15 in the afternoon. I'm a DJ. It's 5 AM. That's making sense. I know it is. What's not making sense. Is why you're in my bathroom drinking a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. So it is. *slurps milkshake* *sitting on toilet* *slurps* What do you want. You want to know what I want? Apparently, a milkshake. It's a strawberry milkshake. OK. OK. OK so what. Finish the script. –What? Fuck dude, how does this song sound good every time? Congratulations, you've gone entirely insane. beep-boop . [DJ] B00p beep. [Music Producer] Beep-beep. 0.c. Do not fall dangerously in love; Do not pass go Do not collect $200 Or any of it For any reason, For any of it For any of them Just keep it pushin; Just keep it private Just hold it all in and Do not let go Do not fall in love Do not pass go Do not unload Do not walk Do not cross here Do not It smells like butter. But you're vegan. I know. Do you think you're having a stroke. God, I fucking hope so. GOD You WHAT. I want to die. GOD I thought i heart you right. You heard me right–a THOUSAND times. I want to die. Take me out of this life. GOD Not until you make dubstep. WHAT. GOD You gotta make a grammy-winning dubstep album. I what. GOD Or at least nominated. No, I don't. GOD Beg your pardon. I'm not begging. GOD What are you getting at, hon? Look; Am I not one with the source? GOD Uhm–you are. Alright, Then: everything is everything. GOD Yes. And everyone is everyone. GOD This is true. So i'm Skrillex. GOD Skrillex is Skrillex So I Am. GOD … And I already won a grammy. GOD … Like a bunch of them, right. GOD Uh. So technically– GOD YOu know what. I can't argue with that logic. This isn't ableton. No. This is Logic. What the fuck. That's not Serato. No, that's Rekordbox. What the fuck is this. These are CDJs. There's no hot cues! What the fuck is a “HOT CUE” This is not food. What the fucking sauce. I'm warning you, Pasquale. Get off my lawn. THIS IS MY HOUSE. Your house it is not. *House music starts blasting* *lasers* sprinklers* dancers* WHAT THE FUCK. It's voice activated, I just– How did you do this?! What. WHAT DID YOu DO. AND WHEN. I don't know! I just took the delorean, like you said. You were supposed to find Dillon Francis. I did! The problem was, when I found the right one, he was dead! What? He's dead? Presumably! What do you mean by that!? It's a long story! WELL, HOW LONG? SUNNI BLU About as long as my dick! WHO IS THAT. I told you it's a long story. Well, let me in! Sorry Pasquale. No Can do. What. Why not. Cause you're on a federal watch list. What. Yeah. Sorry. Wait… You should probably leave before the feds get here. What? Unless you want to stay and party on the lawn but–not recommended. This is bizarre. The police arrive, surrounding Pasquale on the yard–moving in to arrest him. WAIT. SUPACREE turns away from the window; inside, a room full of her aliases sit looking somewhat miserably; SUPACREE!!! [Pasquale is handcuffed and i dragged off of the lawn] SUPACREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Careless, Acoustic–deadmau5 SUPACREE pours a bowl of captain crunch, taking one colossal bite and sits down in THE CONTROL ROOM at a large computer console; inhaling from a can of nitrous oxide. I'm the worst DJ ever. SUPACREE places the fames deadmau5 helmet atop her head and begins working at the computer promptly, clicking away; Now is deadmau5 I don't even know what key this song is in. MEOWINGTONS, Alive and well purrs and stretches, then settles atop SUPACREE/deadmau5's lap. This is insane. I don't know what's happening. END CREDITS. V. O. Lovin' You, Minnie Ripperton Carless, deadmau5 idk how i'm gonna mix that. Trust me. Anything can be mixed. Anything. [When it] Turns out, The bottom of your heart Was the tip of the Ice Berg And the whole ship has [s]unk[en], [&] I[t]'s probably ice cold At the bottom of the ocean; I'll tell you where i'm from Why, I'll tell you anything for About one dollar Turns out, I've already got one eye on you; One eye'd sad heart I should probably roll out my art on you [I probably should not] One man bought a kiss, Another, a whole night from her– One man bought a whole farm The other, a Whole Foods Market –and you can't even franchise those Amazon's got a monopoly We were playing for corners of earth, All i got was some kandi, Subscriptions to candidly, Actually, I really liked the tree trial (I think i'll wait a week, sorry) When it turns out The world that you wanted Was actually hours already The dollar you got Was also borrowed And the money they wanted and got Was just actually stolen from someone else They bought all the food up And sold it for profits I promise this avocado Once costs nothing at all But you wanted that car for your daughter She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it My mom, on my honor Of all the garages in Lost Lands, I promise the owner of it was The first to go last, And the last to come home Now he's on his own alter And also the worshiper; How do you go back? Oh, you don't Oh you don't Oh, you don't wanna know that But i was of course, All of your rock bottoms It's bottoms and tops, and We don't let the top fall over, We're counting up crumbs And this muffin costs $24 dollars Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks For the dead homies Not dead in the general sense But just in the head, the heart, And the soul The homeless are happier at McDonalds Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere I'll avoid the power struggle at operations for about 18 dollars and 56 sense (Please, keep the pennies) I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's Something indecent, or decadent Whichever it is Cause i'm better of with the memory of it Than actually dragging it in. –I'm a cat again. Ouch. Shut up. It HURTS. Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics. YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid. Yes, but lucily for you– –or, for him– Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid. –Ouch– –Shut up. That we know of. George Washington John Adams Thomas Jefferson James Monroe Nope, can't for the life of me remember the 5th Oh shit, I was wrong Turns out, my memory only can hold three. That's a good number I really wish you'd stop just–showing up like this. I never leave. Then go away. I live here. I know you'd like to think that, but– Okay, I'm going to tell you something but I need you to remain calm. What time is it? I don't care Are we gonna make a movie? Depends; is it gonna make me money. FINE. I don't need anymore information about anything else: only these three. Are you serious? I wish I wasn't. I need you to do this. Look, Timmy–I'm not really into grantng wishes anymore. It always blows back on me. A blowjob. Uh huh. That's why you're bothering me. I–would rather you just pick up the call. Take a message. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like that. Like that. I like ‘em like this. I like ‘em like that. I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. And I like ‘em like this. –and I like ‘em like that. Mmm like this Like that. Like — _____ The urge to eat had suddenly left me I wanted a burrito, (But I want to eat red meat) I've gotta stop thinking in sequences and parentheses Complex lines, and writing in past tense so presently. I probably should eat (But probably shouldn't…) I'm starting to bleed; As if i'd been fasting Perhaps, though I had been But had so indulgently feasted On calories enough to last me Till after today (or even till next week) PAY ATTENTION. Woah, to WHAT. Holy shit, I knew this dude was a psychopath but. This is real. ARE YOU SEEING THIS. I “see” it. I should stop meditating in public. You see this? I know everything about you. Why? I bought it on the internet. What is it. Metadata. That's…flattering. Yeah. Wake up. Why, where are we going? Atlanta. What's in Atlanta? You see this? Yes. Do you know what it is? Uh, it's a– What is it? It's a doll. It's not a doll. Oh, it's not. Gimmie a dollar. -_- It's a poppit. “Dr pimple popper” Ew that's fucking gross. I hate this. Let me see. Does s/he have backne? Yes/No. Great, i'll take it. Fuckit. Okay, I got to “whatever”. You went too far. What? I thought I was supposed to go past “fuckit” Yeah, you go past fuckit, I did that! But if you get to “whatever”, you've gone too far. You've gotta go back. Back to WHAT. There was almost no space between “fuckit” and “whatever” Oh trust me. There is. So? This is how he's been controlling you. And? And!? Has it ever occurred to you that I want to be controlled? What! That it just takes the right person to get that kind of permission– permission to what Permission to ride. … Maybe I gave him the reigns. What horse “gives” its rider the reigns. Who said anything about a horse?! Another Horse Mix. Nice. fuck . FYCK. I told you. You know what…Maybe that's my poppit. What. Maybe. I'm so confused. Oh, good–the reversal spell worked. You did a reversal spell on me? Only after I found out what spell you put on ME–FIRST. Yeah, except I wasn't the first one to use that spell on you. EXACTLY. COPY-CAT. Moo. Aww. I'm a cat. … *face* I mean “meow” That's right. Cat. …moo. *face* Lookie here boys: What is it? –I'm leaving. Oh, you're gonna wanna hear this. What. I found the first “whites only” water fountain since 1962. Okay, what do you want? A deal. Oh, I'll give you a deal. Cash up front. [He presents a one dollar bill] Is this enough. [beat] Where are you going with this? Nowhere, fast. YO. What now, dude. SHE'S ONTO US. I doubt that. Look at this. I highly doubt– *gaaassp* Shenanigans! You know what I like about you, Ariana? Everything. Hah. Hm. You know how to keep a secret. I don't know what you're talking about. Exactly. *rolls eyes, flips hair.* Well, here's another one for you. –Another what? This is how my darkness becomes your darkness. I already have enough on my own. I know. You don't know. Only God knows. MOM! Don't ask me again. This is heavy, Doc. What is it? The soup! It's too heavy. Too much cream? Way too much! I have a meeting! Meeting with who? The Hollywood People. When? Soon–what time is it? I don't know. Dammit! Why don't you have any clocks in your house? I only just recently remembered what a clock was. Oh! Here. [God produces a small pocket watch and presents it to him; it's nearly noon on EARTH; But the two are sharing a meal of course in the famed kitchen of the Creator in the TImeless VOID.] Ah, Jesus Christ! He's not here… I'm gonna be late. Now, now; You know I wouldn't let that happen– [a smug look| Hugs and Kisses. [As they embrace, he disappears into a mist of light and stardust, fading away from the void and into the exterior world; he realizes God has slipped him the watch; he flips it open to reveal the time: it is now 11:44] Amazing. V.O. Now you won't wait so long to visit. [He places the wach in his pocket and walks into the studio] MICHAEL J. FOX has been asked to reprise his role as MARTY MCFLY many times before; But never for a project like this. ____ Meanwhile, What am I going to do with you? [The Festival Project.™] YOU'RE DEAD TO ME! –I'm dead to everyone! Don't do this. You wanted to come to the other side. No, I didn't. We'll you're here anyway; Might as well stay awhile. With eyes like burning fire And saddles for the riders The horse begins to gallop (or the horses, rather) On the mark to beating drums To move them forward faster What the fuck is this. idk. Kx5. *-* !_! Here u go Wat is this. it's a dragon. Oh, thats nice. Ya. Whats it do. Idk. dragon things. ok. Don't put it in ur bathroom. Why. idrk. Hm. † Hey. Ugh–No, Kaskade, go away. It's me, Ryan! No, Get out! I'm No† Ka–k (gags) –skade! Gross! It's just Ryan! I promise! NO. GET OUT. Lmfao. Right. This show is fantastic. Who was that. Fucking–Kaskade again! Are you sure. Ugh. Looks like Ryan. Kaskade is Kaskade. {shrugs] Dudes a creep. “Kaskade Ruins Lives” Is this the same episode as before? Eventually, yes. Wasn't I doing something Are you goona let this go? Um. Well I'm fucked. Why, what happened. Obsidian. That should do Unsobsidian. Okay, i'm fucked, Well, what's this? An Oreo Cookie. I mean, sitting next to it. Oh, its a portal gun. Raves are not just raves– A party is not simply a “party” –These big festivals –they're diversions. –DIstractions. Distractions from what. If you were supposed to know, –you'd know. it wouldn't be so important that you go. Why is it? These ancient rituals… It's occult magic. They've got it down to a science. The government funds this. The government funds everything. WoooooooW. It's not really a secret, if you can google it. ‘-complications.' I'm lost somewhere, gone HIppopatamus feeling quite off in the galaxies, galavanting Gazing at Daisies Aces and spades Gone from Heaven to Hades for days On the A– Adjacent Recently dismantling adjectives, Lampshades and matching curtains God it hurts, every day that I think about you; But how can i be about you when You don't even see me, do you Signature consignments, Wrong environments and irony is, I wasn't invited– –but invented it WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Great, now I have to explain myself. You don't have to. What's this space for? Oh, that's the red room. [The Red Room] Well, obviously, but– But what? What's it for? I don't think anybody should read this. HEY. Participation Only– Oh! No peeking! You ever feel like you're doing too much? Yeah, but not for money. Look, we have them surrounded. Our best course of action is to– deadmau5 . What? No– DEADMAU5. Well, are you sure it was a mouse and not a rat? It was a mouse. I know the difference. Do you, though? Look, I've lived in Mexico and New York City. So. In Queens. Oh. That's mathematically impossible. I mean it's not–impossible. No, it's not just impossible. It's mathematically impossible. Has it ever occurred to you that the DJ World in entirety exists outside of the realm of math and science? What is this. Just–enjoy the rave. No. What is this. Look at the firewoooorkkks! Woo EDC… NO. What is this right here. BEFORE: Hey, you still got that balloon? Yeah. Lemme see it. Dude, what are you doing? …I'mma go catch me a DJ. THIS IS NUTS. I can't feel my face. What do you call this? Collateral Damage. Look, I'm going to have to take frequent trips to the bathroom. ok . And–uhh– and. Uhh– Why did you call me over here. Cause i can. Look. this is not magic. This is not science. This is not “voodoo” Voodoo is magic. It's just music. W H E R E D I D H E G O O O O O I don't know. Fuck dude, I fucked up. Once again– Of course you did. What did you do this time? I might have evaporated someone with my fat fucking bass. Nice. Way to go. Yeah. Wait. … Did you just say. HE JUST He deserted me. SO WAIT, YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE? ALRIGHT, WHO THREW A ROCKSTAR IN MY TENT? JEFF Alright, lets go. WHO DID THIS. So what's this place. Lets not let this conversation resurface. This is a 21 Plus Event. What about VIP VIP is 25 Plus. What about that place. Sorry kids. [NO ENTRY] We gotta get in there. So then they wanted an Encore. Did you give them an encore? NO, i was already at my hotel room. Then how did you know that they wanted an encore? WHICH IS IT, THE WYNN, OR THE ENCORE. FUCK, I DON'T REMEMBER. Please, who stays at the Encore for EDC? Have you literally never been out with rich people? No, I literally just got rich. Oh, nice. So, wait, like– Here we go. Dillon Francis has just always been rich? Uh-huh. And Skrillex has always been rich? Yes. Definitely. And deadmau5. deadmau5 is Canadian. OH MY GOD. W E L C O M E I'm going to need your absolute discretion about this. Alright. Sign this waiver. …this is a…pretty heavy packet. I'll wait. I've never signed an NDA like that in my life. Lil' biiiiiiiiiiiiiitzzzz Can we just admit it's weird that we live in an era where “NDA” is household jargon. And like, everyone knows what it means. Everyone knows what an NDA is. I appreciate the sentiments Isn't it weird how it sets in automatically? Autopilot, go. Aww, i don't want to be Autopilot. You're on autopilot. I don't really have to think about it anymore, I'll have to sleep on it Wear a white t-shift, Hear the applause of the audience, Eat it You wanna know what I think? You want to know what I'm drinking? You know what I need? An Icee, (cause I see you typing) An awful Omnipotence A God of Mirages No more carbohydrates, I gotta get all thin; Forgot to acknowledge Whether or not i'm turning this off soon I are. I…”are” I are. Infinite Reality. OH. I. R. IR! IR! IRV I ARE. Suddenly, I remember the taste of talcum powder As If I were Moving backwards In time, Like, Why, God on earth would My mom let me try that, But if i'm honest, Fuck man, I hate deadmau5– There's just too much in here. Beep boop. I love deadmau5. It's so simple. What is this, MATH?! THIS IS AERODYNAMICS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE AERO DYNAMICS DId you mean what you said about that? I meant everything I said. Goddammit, fuck this, I was in the middle of a really complex poem In realtime, listening to deadmau5 Having a partially out of body spiritual experience, Entirely fucking sober FACEPALM BLŪ 8facepalming dramatically in frustration* NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN ANY OF THIS. beepboop. YO. Oh, I forgot my open form poetry, or my mom How my mom once allowed me to gnaw on talcum powder But who can blame her That was a hard one It was a past life And now ive Got Another One HOly shit what version of the cube is this. 1D. What. You'll get it. Wait. Have you ever stopped for a minute to think– I can't stop for a minute, especially just to “think” [Literally stops for a minute to think.] No fucking way, uh-uh. Come on, man. No. I ain't time travelin' wit deadmau5. Come on– NO. –that someone else has already figured all of this out and that's how any of it is possible in the first place. Alright, i'm gonna need some mind-altering drugs for this. What are you doing. Voluntary Ego Death. I– Wait. Why would you. Get out of my brain. I am your brain. Take care, now. Holy shit, it seems like she's getting more evil. That's because she's definitely more evil ALRIGHT, I'M TIRED OF THIS: WHERE IN THE FUCK IS SKRILLEX. MEANWHILE INT. IN THE FUCK. DAY. *rings doorbell* AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME. I'm not joking, that's…literally the answer to your question. Oh. Fuck. What dude. We gotta go back. I left the keys in the pocket of the guy I shapeshifted into. Are you serious? It's fine, he can't have gone too far, dude. What do you mean he “left the dimension” He entered a portal. He– wait, excuse me. A portal. A “portal”, dude? Yeah; a portal. What do you mean “a portal” A portal, like— you know, like a portal gun, but not a portal gun, just a portal. Uh huh. Excuse us for a second. What the fuck is this dude talking about? I don't know, man. Humans don't use portals! I know man. What the fuck! Well, wait—how do we know that guy is human. He looks human. Yeah dude but, we look human. Duh! Cause we shifted! Yeah, but, how do we know he's not a shifter. Because, dude, I know a shifter when I see one. Yeah, but—you know, what if he's really good. I highly doubt that. Why? Cause I'm the best. No, I am. Exactly, so we'd know if it was another shifter–cause we're the best shifters! Well, let's at least try to see if he knows anything else about those guys. They were together right? I hope not. No, not like that—like Okay, okay, whatever, let's just… Wait, where'd he go? Excuse me. What up. There was just another guy over here just now— He was like—you know—normal looking guy Tie die* shirt Yeah. Did you see him. Yeah, I saw him. Alright, cool, where'd he go? He left. What?! That was fast! Yeah, well…it happens. Are you sure? Yes. *actually is shifter* [as they walk away, the shifter shifts, and then vanishes into a random portal.] Awww, dammit, Now we're never gonna find this guy. Never say never. Whatever, we're dead. We're always dead. Yeah, but like in modern human slang terms Oh, yeah, that. Anyways, I gotta relieve this human's bladder. I fucking hate this species for this. It is useless. *enters portal potty* [ Wait, whatever actually did happen to Dillon Francis? That's great, I was just getting to that. 19 Pages. Nice. …no, 12. What. [11:12] Okay, I'm gonna kill him. Oh, I banished him. With my fists. Nice. Tits. Nice tits. Thx. Hey man. Hey what. Remember that smudge on the lens. Yeah. It just got bigger. … did you try vinegar instead of Windex. Yes. –IT'S NOT A SMUDGE. Did you try Windex with Vinegar. –IT'S NOT A– Shut up. I'm. So. Hungry. Look, do you want this, or not? Do you feel like any of this is a coincidence? Just quit, it. Dillon Francis. WHERE IS IT? I don't know. Lets kick this up a notch. ILLUMINATI What do you want? … I want the full package. ILLUMINATI Okay, I'm gonna need specifics. How do you even get a job as a courier for the illuminati? [INDEED.COM | ILLUMINATI - COURIER- URGENTLY HIRING] Hm. It was a pretty specific list. I don't even get the point of a barbeque if everyone is vegan Well, The Mayor eats fish. Oh please, where is THAT guy the Mayor of? I don't know. We meet in the Matrix. This is for you. Oh. Do you like it? I– It's not a brothel! It's Member's Only! YOu BUY a Membership. Yeah. And WOMEN. HEy, MAN, YOU CAN BUY DUDES, TOO. SHHH. Oh no. What. What did you do? I gave her my credit card. The Heavy One? Yes, and– “AND” –access to the black market. Cool, I got it. Oh, another auction. Of course another auction. What'd you buy this time? A lifesize deadmau5 bobblehead. What are you gonna do with that? Wouldn't you like to know. Ok, gross. LIL BIIIIIIIITXXXX I love a good deamau5 show. He really does have the best fans, It's a comfortable, safe space. Very inviting. Everyone is happy. What the fuck, dude, this place is a sausage fest. Yeah, that's deadmau5 for ya. Hey, I'm looking for this shithead. Oh, that dude? Yeah, have you seen him? Fuck, I wish this never happened. LIL BIIIIITz If you don't know who deadmau6* is– GET OUT. Jk. but seriously this is easily the most devastating person i've ever seen. Maybe just to me, but. Are you sure that's the right guy? Yeah, that's gotta be him. Is he wearing glasses? Ugh. Oh wait. Damn. ‘Fuck, it is my sapiosexuality, I think' Even if it was perhaps an error, as I might have more than needed a new pair of glasses myself, just the thought of Joel in a pair of specables was suddenly and immediately the equivalent of Dillon Francis sitting down at a piano, or Sonny doing just about literally anything–and I realized, finally, that the most indecent things about myself were quite possibly only happening inside my own mind– Okay, my body does really weird things to this dude's music. Are you sure this is real? No. I love this. Just shut up and do your job. What a nightmare. PLease HElP ME. Hm. That can't be right. What. This translates to H E L P M E Oh, shit, I gotta go. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm always working. Shouldn't you be working right now? I'm at work. Well, that was nice and all, but–I gotta get out of here. Where are you going? To shoot myself. Wow, that's one hell of a smile. Just–take it. I'm sorry, i can't accept this. What is even happening in this series? Like, a lot WOULD YOU KIDS SETTLE DOWN. *not settling down* *lil biiiiiiiitz* You know what I wonder? I wonder this I'm sober. I'm just sober sally over here. I didn't get sober. I just am. Cause i'd rather face the pain of this harsh reality with a bite than to dull it out and then wake up in the morning Or–just–whenever– To wake up whenever and be like “OH NO, THIS IS WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE” And the shock of it is so horrible that I just have to repeat that cycle again. ‘OH NOOOOOO” *gets faded* “It's all goooooood” No, it isn't. But i choose to stay like that cause it's like a It's not even a happy medium, It's more like a median-medium But you know what? It makes happier moments more happy And shitter moments less shitty Because i don't have this like drastic spacial Augmented reality or like smoke screen of emotional apathy. I get to feel things way more intensely. I don't have to wonder, ever “oh , did that just happen, cause I was messed up” Or like “would it have happened this way if I was sober” At all. I'm just level– No false sense of Pretty much anything. But i do wonder, though– Like, for people who weren't always sober, and then GOT sober– like , what's the breaking point What's the tip? I always have to sit back and wonder “What did you DO?” Cause you know it had to be something if suddenly “I don't drink anymore” I always wonder, and it's like– no disrespect or anything thing but… I really wanna hear that story. lol . I know you don't wanna tell it (if you can) But wanna hear it. Cause from my point of view. IT's probably hilarious. I know. I'm a dick. Holy shit. What is that. Looks like pasquale went all out with the fireworks this year. …is that a penis? WELCOME HOME It's a giant dick- in-the-sky! GOD IS REAL! JESUS Look, so i've been having second thoughts about this whole thing. What the fuck man. You gotta stop doing shit like this. JESUS I literally can't. I know, but. Okay, look. I'm not writing any of that. You've gotta tell him. NO, RYAN. WELL, WHY NOT. BECAUSE, RYAN. WHY. DEADMAU5 ISN'T REAL. Damn, am I in here. Nice. Of course I am. Well, how'd that happen. This is like a sea of cellphones. Perfect. It was a red car; I wasn't all there, And if you want her, You can have her Fuck. What. I forgot the rest of the verse. It's ok. We gotta move on. No, I gotta go back. For what. For my fans. Aw. What's this. IT's a ceramic mug. Wow, that's nice. I made it Wait. You made that?! Yeah. With your hands?! Yeah. Why would you do that? For you. What. I made it for you? Like, you thought of me first, then you made it? Yeah. WHY? Cause i love you! WOW. Fans are awesome OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *Sometimes. *vomits* … *dies* … *godlessness* [Devastating DJ Moments] I don't get it dawg, all this shit is in your music particles?! “Music particles” UGH. what . That's it. Don't be smart around me. Uh. I'm not smart? No, that won't work; sarcasm is a sign of deeper intelligence. “Sorry” Stop saying that. This is America. S– Don't say it again. Apology not accepted. Don't look at me like that. Like what. With your face. *face* Quick: Say something stupid and random. …I like anime. Oh good, that worked. Thanks. Where are you going? Idk somewhere else. Really, that's it? Yeah. That's all you have to say/ That's literally it. Are you seeing this. Yes. So what's the problem. Oh no, she's stuck in a loop. Throw the whole fan away. [DELETE] Did it work. Did what work. Oh, good. Cool. Wait. See ya later. Did what work? I wish i could just forget about this. Everything? Yeah. Look, this is between me and God–okay? GOD Don't drag me into this. You dragged ME into this! GOD Right. So i could get OUT; So don't drag me back in. Fuck, I remember this. I must have done something important here. Like what. Look, I love you. Great, now what do we do? Bury the body, I guess. *shrugs* Wait, what happened? Somebody dies. OKay, me first. Other Three: Who wants to go next. *still in shock* Fuck man, told you this was a long ass story. *Crying* I'm ruined. What! You went broke? No, i'm still a filthy rich millionaire. I thought you were a billionaire. I am I just *snifs* sometimes I forget that happened. “Sometimes I forget I'm a billionaire” I got to admit, man, I did it to myself. I'm not mad, or anything, but now there's just–certain things I can't do Oh, like what. Not that song. What, why not? You said “anything but Skrillex” this is not Skrillex, this is deadmau5. What's the difference? Okay, that's like saying “What's the difference between deadmau5' and my music?” No, it isn't. How is that not different? That's like comparing the music of Bach and Beethoven to the music of a tattooed hedgehog. You think I look like a hedgehog. No, it's just when I see you and a hedgehog I have all the same thoughts, turn this off. NO, i like this song. Seriously, Dillon Francis, turn it off. I'm gonna turn it up instead. I do not highly recommend doing that. Or at all. This ship has amazing subs. Should I bass boost this song. NO, PROBABLY NOT. Oh, why not? Dillon Francis, I'm warning you, stop. OH HOW COME BECAUSE WHY? BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A HEDEHOG NO, BECAUSE I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP AT THIS *DROP* [INSTANTLY FALLS ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL–ACTIVATES HYPERSPACE– PLUMMETS SHIP INTO BLACK – HOLE. ohhhhh . What a hoe. Nice, that's a whole episode. Well, here's a bonus scene or whatever. Shazam, what is this. SHAZAM …i don't know. What do you mean you don't know. SHAZAM *panicing* IDONNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN– SHAZAM IDON. NO. OOOOOOOOOOOO Is this deadmau5. I'm not sure. Sounds like deadmau5. It sure does. This is pretty Ooh. it sparkles. yeah , it's deadmau5. How does she KNOW. I need a deadmau5 machine like right now. I know where to find that. Fuck dude, everything's gonna be half-ass until I push out this album. You can't rush it. Trust the process. I can't focus. Oh shit, wasn't this in the last episode? Yeah. I'm still writing backwards. God, what is that, like a pipe organ. WHAT SYNTH IS THIS. Doesn't matter, I just need one. That's it. I know what I'm going to spend my Jimmy Fallons On. And What's that? V.O. OOh. Are we Montaging–to deadmau5? [MONTAGE: deadmau5] Nice. I love a good montage. I love deadmau45* AHH OH NO. I love deadmau5. I keep making typos and I keep forgetting to delete that parallel where. fuckit. That's the synth I've always wanted. It's on sale for $999 At Sam Ash But…you only have Five JImmy Fallons. There are only five special edition in this Volume The Jimmy Fallon 555's I don't know how many volumes there are, but this is the Volume I started keeping track. Fuck, man. I miss Equinox. It's just Eucalyptus. They also have an outdoor running track where you get the best ever view of midtown manhattan. How do you know it's the best ever view of Midtown manhattan. Because it's on a running track. STOP WHISTLING IN MY WHOOP=WHOOPS. The JImmy Fallon 555s are marked with the standard Jimmy Fallon in black ink With a simple side marker of the number 555 in red And also in red, a telephone number on the back. But–that synthesizer is One Thousand Jimmy Fallons. Yeah. So I only need Nine Hundred Ninety Five More. And of course, the Eye of Providence is highlighted. Also Standard. V.O. I always highlight that. Cause, you know… “Illuminati” These are fake. No they're not! They're counterfeit, sorry. No they're not! They're authentic! Why the fuck does this matter so much? You know. What is it with this dude. If it was a snake, it would've bit ya. It was a snake. And it did bite me. He's so increasingly beautiful to me, And I'm still in love with his friend, or misrepresented masterpiece, Progression of a monster, or procession of a superstar, but Something in the story sparks the thought of All we are is consciousness, of course Awkward in body, but of constellations Cosmos, It's not just a corpse; It's all got love in it, Absurd, and sipping carbonated syrup, but I'm just sitting in my stirrups, Here comes galloping a horse, Of course, it hurts to turn it off For just a moment And remember That i'm just a homeless, Stuck and sitting up at night Writing recourse, hugging learning curves in ableton, Curving curses, been reminded that I'm worthless In a thousand words or less, Or just another form of torture, Nothing said, but all that's done Another day another dollar, But it's not It's Jimmy Fallon. I thought this was enter the multiverse. Are you ready to go. No. A hand on my shoulder So paifully socially awkward, I grow stretchmarks, don't know what to call them But scars, But the uglier ones, I've thought Are invisible, Somewhat– To the naked eye Or just anyone Not tiger stripes But one, an eye of horus Carved above my right And inside my lip, (The bottom one) A raised scar in the shape of a sythe I probably died by the hands of a man named Starr So it's hard to shrug it off, And 555 is just a number But it's not It's another scar, It's a punishment For loving him. What's on the back. It's…a number. What number? A telephone number. What. Like a 1-800 Number Call it. I love deadmau5. Something about a big, giant smiling robotic mouse that lights up and sparkles. Why? I don't know. I'm like 5. I see deadmau5 i'm like “WHEEEEEEE” My hands go up in the air “AHHHHHH! YAYYYYY” I'm so stupid. It's so stupid. But you know what? It makes me feel good. I'm not gonna lie. I love it. And by the time I even figured out what deadmau5 was I was so late to the party that I had to make up for lost time. I listened to deadmau5 doing EvErYThING. Everything you could possibly imagine. Well–Except one. Wait, how long have you been cellibate? Forever, probably. Fuck, what happened in here? I don't know. Everything's broken. My head My heart. Everything. Get up, Dillon Francis. Fuck, what happened. You sent us through a black hole. And we crashed on a random ass planet. Fuck, that sucks. YOu suck, Dillon Francis. Ugh. Now get up. Everything's fucked up. SUPERSTAR DJ I'm a paradox. I've got a box of skeletons in my closet i'm not ready to part with. I had a heart attack; I had a heart once, But lately it goes in my pocket; Or my right hand, When I wake up From a dream land, From a long hug From a nice man In a t-shirt KASKADE This is God's PLAN. RYAN, GET FUCKED. 800-799-7233 Did you call the number. Yeah. What is it. [National Domestic Violence Hotline] Woah. That was a long bonus scene. Well, Now here's a PSA. AND A PSA? YES. A PSA. You know what the fucked up thing about all this is, The Legend of Supacree is a true story. All of it. ALL OF IT?! ALL OF IT!? YES. Even the part about– YES. Especially that part. Woah. Damn. I think i'm gonna be sick. Shut up, Dillon Francis. No, but seriously– This is the story of how I got my heart broken so bad. YOU RUINED IT. So, so bad– I HATE YOU. That i started singing about it. NSA, totally *not spying* …are you hearing this. Yes. ILLUMINATI Check this out. Another one down. And how when you start making music– What is this. it's hoe math. And that music actually comes from a really real place. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. really real shit starts happening. You–killed yourself. well , to be fair–I lost everything first. Congratulations. Thx. Here's a skrillex. WHT. Kbye. Really, really, really. What, the fuck Dillon Francis, crawled inside of you to live and made it'self at home? Idon'tknow. What is in this sauce? Just–kill him. What, i can't just. Just kill him, while nobody is watching. Please don't kill me. Shut up, man. I'm having a thought process. Okay, that's it. FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. That's the spirit. THAT IS THE SPIRIT. IT'S THE HOLY SPIRIT. Who the fuck is this. It's–Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ?! JESUS CHRIST i'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait, are you claiming that the second coming of the messiah is upon us?! YES. Well,Technically, it's the third. And it's all because of Dillon Francis?! I Please stop this HATE Help YOU. Fuck, dude. I know, huh. What did he DO. The third?! How did we miss that?! Uh, you didn't. [HITLER, being HITLER] (he was mad) Okay, that's it. You can't write any of this. Uh, I can. I just did. Technically, I'm dead: this is just a voiceover It's an 80's style PSA You can't say Hitler was the messiah. That's offensive. Everything is offensive. FUCK YOU DILLON. I'msosorry NOTYETYOU'RENOT. Wait, whatever happened to Skrillex. SKRILLEX is waiting outside of the alleged home of SUPACREE's “distant relatives” Lol is he for real at her mom's house. well , to be fair, he's like–looked everywhere else. Ur right. That was a lot of dimensions. So. like. Fuck, i didn't even have that much coffee. It just goes on forever. [DILLON FRANCIS STILL HAS HOTSAUCE IN HIS PUDGY LITTLE EYES] Good. Cause if I see the pupils, i'm wasting him. You think you can do better than this. Better than this? Yes. Yes. Then do it. Alright, is the PSA over? No, not yet. I gotta say one more thing. What is it? Would you ever have done it, Or would you ever be honest If you had, Handed her a lesson, Or a stretch of the past From the present moment, My heart, and my mind And my lover I present you this honor From now on to nowhere I no longer… Want to be near you Or to know you Or to hear you Or to fear you No longer… Want to feel you Or to touch you Or to have you Or to hold you Or to love you No longer, I no longer want you Devastating, A song stuck in my head for a whole world I wonder how long it would take to go back there A room full of actors, A manager, Never a backpack to wear Just a handful of hats, One director, Eventually producer Just now a showrunner Look at how long that took. I had to wonder what auroras in the north thought of someone like Sonny. They showed me. Now I can love you no longer So much for getting acquainted Funny what age equates to in ageless An infinite wisdom, I dismissed him, Nor, would I believe that he ever would hit her, but Some might belong in such a category Though i carry the marks and the scars Of what my once- husband did to me –but no longer. I haven't a heart in the world left But a broken one, made of amethyst. Fuck off, Dillon Francis. A calculated attack on my psyche. I like it a lot, But i'm fonder of sodom. WHAT. Are you saying you woul actually participate in an orgy! Oh GOD no! Oh, Good, cause– But i'd host one. WHAT. The hedonists are a fun bunch. Oh my God. Though, Nowadays, of course, I haven't the slightest idea what to call them. I saw the future. Well, obviously, if you've headlined EDC you've seen the future. I remember all of it. That must be awful. Why don't you remember it? Because i don't want to. Not at all. I did once. Then what happened? I hated it so much, i forgot. You forgot on purpose. I had to. Love, or Music. …Music. Love, or Fame. Fame. Okay, ouch. Love, or Music? …Love. Okay. Love, or Fame. Love. Okay. Love, or music? … Isn't that the same thing? Hm. Love, or Fame? ….Why do you keep asking me the same question. I beg your pardon? Why beg? I mean– What do you mean? What do you mean? Well, first you asked me, If would rather have Love or Music. Love. Music. Yes. In my mind, those are synonyms. Neither can really exist without the other. Okay, and Fame. Love and Fame are also synonyms– How so? Ugh, I just made this difficult on myself. It was always difficult. It really wasn't. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. WHY IS IT ALWAYS CHRISTMAS?! BEcause, you're in a movie. WHAT. You're stuck in a Hollywood movie. The Master Sorcerer Of the Grand Illusion You just want it so bad You don't know what you're in for Inquenchable Thirst for knowledge Insatiable Sexual Appetite Yo My horizontal monster wants ya Could revert to vert, but lets keep Our options open Covert, __ My heart is broken No window open Who left the draft in –motherfucker My heart is broken I need a lover I need a lover Some one to hug me I need a hug, but And– I'm not fit to touch The hem of your garment The tip of your dick or fit enough to be your girlfriend I guess i'll just have to live with that When I have an itch, I scratch it myself I made the assumption you can't, And moved passed it But something's been calling me out, from the past Something's been calling me back to the magic I can't get around that Do you hate me? I can see that I'll just make my way back to the beginning Though I'm envious And i pity her, The both of you really There's nothing left between us except Insanity//Infinity Kendrick Style Flow Don't key my car: You'll be callin collect! I got rearview mirrors in the back of my head Don't get up right now, son– Go back to bed I got kids all over, be pulling my leg! Luke, I am your Father! Oh My Oh My God On top of the Watchlist You make money off dope; I made it on craigslist Still be sniffin that coke But now i'm on A list I'm the greatest Ey Miss! I missed too many calls (Airplane Mode) I just started my day (Whole Workload) I might need a buffet (Like Whole Foods) Sashe, Pas De Bourre (That's a code word) No dance floor? Now you're done for My forte Four-to-the-floor Hardcore I drop bass on the encore Front row won't go But i'm already out the front door You don't know I just hopped inside the helicopter, or chopper, chopped broccoli in my cup That's supper; Sleep/ Wake then Surf's up In the morning When i got there (Coastal show, Shower, Then another club Encore Front row lined up I'm already at the front door They want more I'm too sore, for sure Off subject, I dropped in Harder than Paulie On my surfboard (Another code word) This is my world: Another club, Then I'm off for a monday Or somethin' Write another song At the buffet –Tales of a Superstar DJ Amen. Fuck! I didn't even get to watch desperate housewives! Don't fuck with her! She's a trained assassin! GET ON THE GROUND. NO! GET ON THE GROUND– OR I WILL SHOOT YOU! SO? IF I SHOOT YOU, YOU WILL DIE. OK? “OK”? YOU WILL DIE. YEAH, AND? Kind of frustrating hunting down somebody who already has a deathwish. What do you do with someone who has no fear of death. Give them life. I'm telling you, we probably shouldn't be doing this. *shrugs* You split yourselves into two entirely separate individuals at once, just so you could see whose dick is longer? Technically, three entirely separate individuals. THIS ISN'T FAIR. Do you ever think? Sometimes, but it's usually pretty gross. I mean about the implications of these things! You are the implications of these things! I split my soul ONE time into 8 BILLION or so individuals, before this even had happened. WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED. I'm giving you planetary confinement. What. You–can stay here. On this planet. No. It's racist–and primitive. No– And you're black. Please– I'm leaving. –don't– –and i'm taking your portal gun with me. YOU PUT A PORTAL ON MY FACE?! Genius. Incredible. I didn't think it would be a big deal. He has two! Okay, time for work. But i didn't even sl– Coffee. Ouh. … … — I don't think we should be doing this TIA We probably shouldn't. TAMERA We very much shouldn't. What are you guys doing. Nothing. SHh. Summoning the devil. It's not the devil. It might be. Hush. Is that a pentagram. Technically it's a star, with a circle around it. That's a pentagram. It's not a pentagram! Is that a ouiji board? NO. Yes. Let me see. Ugh! I wanna help. MEANWHILE. MORGAN FREEMAN enters an empty train car: Oh God, This. Yes it is! What!? Are you dead! Entirely empty, that is–besides SUPACREE. No, you are! Great, so you're dead! I'm–not dead. Is Bob Saget with you? I'm not DEAD. What about Fraiser? What? Kelsey Grammer! God rest his soul. SEE! I'm not dead– [beat, an eerie shadowy silence in the dimly lit traincar] I'm a Legend. What. I wrote that/ You wrote that. What. Ugh. Look. Morgan Freeman. [Morgan Freeman] I–am–like a paranoid schizophrenic, or something– So, who isn't?! It might be catatonic, I don't know–I got this whole dead-hand–thing–going on. What is that? I don't know. It might just be too much deadmau5. I don't understand. No, Morgan Freeman. I don't understand. Anything about this life. Or this world. The fourth dimension. I definitely don't know anything about that. You're in it. Whatever. Look. [Morgan Freeman] God, you have so many freckles. [Morgan Freeman] Look. I got problems. We all do! Nah, not like–Hollywood problems, I'm like, a real psycho and shit. Sounds like Hollywood. Everything sounds like Hollywood–because nothing is real anymore–everything is for the gram, the points don't matter–nothing actyally matters. At all. Oh? Oh. The train comes to a sudden halt, the lights dim theatrically. Not even this? [pause] He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golden pinata; You know who gave it to me? …Who? Got ya. He holds out a strange object; a golden necklace, which begins to change in appearance–morphing between a medallion, as seen throughout the seasons, and into other integral objects from throughout the series; a small golde pinata ; Fuck dude, i'm too tired to write this. But you kind of have to. I mean i don't have to. YOU HAVE TO. I–WHAT? YOU HAVE TO DO IT. WHY. BECAUSE OTHERWISE I DON'T EVEN EXIST; Then don't exist… I'M JUST A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR SHOW. Come on Drew, knock it off. Wait, is this Drew Carey, or Barrymore. Either or. That's why I didn't write the characters name. Well, which is it? It literally doesn't matter. Yes it does. Honestly?! It could be both! We just shoot it with both and keep whichever one we like better! But how do we know which is actually “better?” Just do it and mix it–cut it up together or something–I don't know! Cut takes! Cut Takes! Ooh, did someone say CUPCAKES. Don't mind if i DO. Well, I do! Why?! What's wrong?! Yeah! What's the big deal! I'm on a gluten free-thing Oh yeah? Keto. Or someshit. I don't know. Oh. Oh. So you don't want these No, I don't. And you wouldn't mind if I– Come on, man. So Good. Grow up. Hey man, i'm pushin 40. Well, I pushed 40–and it pushed back. Get your cupcakes out of my face. You're no fun. Hey! Aren't you that one guy from rick and morty. Formerly. Oh yeah! That's right! You were Rick AND Morty. Hence the name. Wow. Phewf. I heard about that. Yeah, me too. Sounds real bad, how that turned out. Such a shame. Speaking of shame– You're speaking, I'm snacking. That's not that clever. We'll work on it The point is, he's eating the cupcakes. That's not–wait a minute–hold on. What now? How are we ever gonna get these three guys in a room together. [Meanwhile, in another dimension–these three are tied up (read: bound and gagged) in a room together. –Let alone to agree to this!? SUPACREE removes the gag from the man's [JOSH PECK'S] mouth. I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS. That's what she said! Hey! That's not fair! I was never caught up in a scandal! The key word, I believe, is “never caught” That's two words! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. How many words is that? I WANT MY LAWYER!!!! For what? This isn't court. Wouldn't you want the police first? WELL THEN, I WANT THE POLICE. The Police are here. Wait, they are? Oh, thank God Not so fast. THE POLICE enter with full entourage. Introducing: The Police–playing their number one greatest smash hit! Groupies: Woooo! STING I hope you ladies bought the meet-and-greet package, if you know what I mean. *winks awkwardly* You know what I mean. Oh my God. Since you dudes love doing creepy dude shit, I brought some more notoriously creepy dudes to sing the literally creepiest song ever written about being a creepy dude. That's not fair. But it's funny. THE POLICE Begin to play ‘I'll be Watching You” –and they're gonna play it on loop until I get back with your other-dimensional selves so we can fix all this. “WE” “FIX ALL THIS” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Nobody seems to know. “--I'll be watching you–” I was FRAMED. CUT TO a golden pocket watch, a wrist watch, a compass–it changes and morphs so quickly that it begins to seem to spin time itself into a whirlwind, until finally a portal opens up from within his hand–a portal which quickly devours him entirely, morphing him into Fuck, what the fuck happened after that Idk I got off the train I guess This is really terribly written INT. SAM ASH MANHATTAN. DAY. A tiny conga for 90 dollars I could die in here Maybe I am just like you I find my way to the prettiest thing in the room And have my way with it Just for a few minutes Consume it, then move on Saw Madison dancing badly on Madison Avenue It's okay, You're a white girl So everybody loves you Everybody loves you Everybody loves you, no matter what you do. As for me, I can't say when I'm going through But you couldn't do it, Madison That's as bad as being at a standstill at rush out in Manhattan With enough practice I could buy everything in Sam ash And make my own band with it That's the plan at least— But

america god love jesus christ music new york amazon health trust new york city father hollywood earth man los angeles house rock work moving hell mexico training young speaking canadian games building dj wild creator writing balance fitness devil focus coffee holy drop forever festival dad write satan open mom funny kanye west plan police tales utah greek record dead bbc alive grammy code fame mayors heroes wake humans stuck dark beyonce rain standing matrix sick straight hits switch consequences happy birthday member math cat adolf hitler letting go broke finish humble billion incredible falling in love vegan gurus blame genius wear hole distractions honestly throw orange ab gotta lol curiosity complex hungry soft proud karma fuck tempo lying weak congratulations amen wtf balls bronx anxious loud logic providence heartbreak harder david bowie hanging bitch membership excuse signal counting yellow similar gross apology psa awkward shut doc siri ir nuts grammy awards copyright shenanigans beverly hills pages won shazam bach get out keto nah wonderland cosmos ludwig van beethoven whole foods shower forgot hades dudes ka pay attention illuminati spur progression signature sd thousand encore backwards aha rick and morty fucking voodoo mm nsa sir soleil morgan freeman lay jimmy fallon technically autopilot bury reached annihilation devastating petite hugs hush ur nevermind consume equinox jk coastal kisses absurd tie acoustic handle handed lovin family guy irony la croix montages hm framed nothin duh michael j fox amit diplo subscriptions sweeping only god nda idk jinx im m tits cupcakes obsidian skrillex covert edc keisha brownies beeps hahaha augmented oh god benz mmm ew oh my god aw copycat careless opposites sentimental tantric shhh tit vinegar dammit deadmau5 midtown in the heights kaskade good one lemme marty mcfly raves summoning metadata gazing sunni fuckin horus insatiable thx ahem edx pasquale mistrust collateral damage lmfao moo moog kelsey grammer whole foods market stop it carved gawd dillon francis motherfuckers jesus no drew carey shitting hah cyanide awww aww 1d ext uhhh eucalyptus shh god is real josh peck fangirls barrymore fka uhh serato he said end credits gimmie windex captain crunch fraiser commercial break hard reset control room lin manuel buti uhm minnie riperton god yes fuck it ahah arrr oreo cookies god not jesus look icee lost lands god right watching you tox what the fuck cdjs i hate you probably not polars wht carless get fucked it hurts rekordbox minnie ripperton bothersome lookie ouh shredded wheat i am ready dog blood let me out waht hve ahaha curving lampshades honey smacks you will die vip vip by chance dj world this is my house oh come on who did this you're dead to me phewf wheeeeeee
The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential
[[alone again.]] (dry cyphers) {Enter The Multiverse}

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2023 31:53


What comes up Must come down Have fun while it lasts I'll look back and laugh at this Not gonna lie I love gayness And anus I was born this way And I been the same since Day one Ain't nothin else but the greatest I hate this And hate red now I hate Instagram Have fun with the fake bitches And twigs The FKA twigses I get it, You like skinny bitches What man doesn't Huh Sonny Your insecurity's showing I'm fat and black You're like 5'1 Life sucks sometimes Sometimes things get complicated Good luck at the Grammy's I ain't watching But I kinda feel like you already won it Cause I used to want it for ya And everyone forgot what dubstep was You're number one But one is the loneliest number So I doubled myself from it And then went on to duplicate the whole world (The one without you in it) Drop you from my mixes Another drop of blood and tears over you I pull a rose apart I'm seeing red now See what I go through Code blue used to love But act like I don't even know you Or wanna blow you Cause you tried to own me I see red I did what you did Fuck an end This is infinite I been in it Been blue since Been stuck in your head Now I feel better I'm going to dinner with Dillon (And his @girlfriend”) I'm just BBC a bitter nigger Go figure though I got Kayla Lauren fitness Under layers of genetics Brownies keep the ass gelatinous Facts— The AB's are flat as shit Even after twins Plus another son Now I'm all fucked up Sonny wants em brand new Well fuck you Red-blue Blū are you stupid? No! I used to be Then supacree served me Humble pie And humility She's good at baking Good at taking pictures (And dick pics) But she isn't me I just wonder why I'm hungry But I been at the gym since three And it's about to be closing Shit I might never be A celebrity stay in celibacy Till I'm famous enough To make friends With the greatest Which may just Be never Thanks to the Asians And latinas Hey, It's a hierarchy of racism But I get it All these black women Are mad at me Cause their weaves Be looking like the hair that comes out of my head naturally DEMON YOU GIT THE RIGHT ONE. SUPACREE OH! YOURE GONNA BITE ME?!? I had bite marks for like four weeks. Weak from pizza and fighting demons I'm sick of it, Sick of not being human enough to HVe fun at nothing And never being enough for my son Fuck Sonny I don't even wanna watch TV Everybody wants to talk to me LIKE, ILLUMINATI SUPACREE! SUPACREE! No. ILLUMINATI FINE, BE SUNNI BLU THEN NO. Why. My ex husband is trying to murder me, and he thinks I'M SUNNI BLŪ. ILLUMINATI brb OH. Is that what happened. Look, I gotta take care of something. What. If I told you, it would ruin the whole thing. Fuck, I gotta do a rewrite. SATAN FIGHT ME. JESUS No, my guy. SATAN WHY NOT. JESUS Because I always win. SATAN. Not this time. JESUS Every time, that's how it goes, dude. SATAN Not this time…you'll see. JESUS *shrugs nonchalantly* SATAN *coughs^ Hm. SATAN/COUGHING PERSON *coughing obnoxiously* Ok. That's gross. COUGHING PEOPLE/SATAN. *coughing extremely obnoxiously* Stop it. SATAN IS COUGHING PEOPLE KNOCK IT OFF. SATAN See, I told you. I'm not fighting the devil You kind of have to. No I don't. Do you want the job, or not? No! Too bad, you got the job! Goddammit, I just wanna fuck this Skrillex dude. Like I said. You said I had to fight the devil. JESUS [eating pizza] That's the devil. No it's not! It's just Skrillex. JESUS No, that's Satan, I'll show you. SKRILKEX BEING SKRILLEX. TGE MEXICAN SKRILLEX MORE SKRILLEX. *crying* JESUS [still eating pizza]. See, I told you. Ok. JESUS I'm always right. Ok. JESUS *nonchalontly* shrugs. *nonchalantly* No, that doesn't look right. Oh well. edit it later. Keep writing. Ok. The devil is obnoxious God is nonchalant/ Balance in the opposites, as Opposites attract, and Like attracts like, but Polars are polars, I'm of no importantce at all Cause I'm back and homeless You're white as it gets And acting Hispanic I can laugh at that Cause your soul is black And your eyes are brown To match all the shit your full of Hay is for horses And hey, that's no fair I see bears everywhere Like I'm haunted But honest, I'm over love I just want a body I told you, I'm not supacree Cause supacree is what love is And I'm guessing she went to find Skrillex Or Sonny Whichever one has it head on And still has a heart Not under command By Illuminati Who wouldn't want me High enough up To become a doctor If you're watching me from afar Or stalking me coughing m Look at God, cause That's what I got I can wait for love Till the next part That go complicated (I just want a body) I like the song complications (That's a nice once) I like red balls Never blue ones I was blu/e once Now I do lunch With the Gods When I nod off Whatever you want I'm just not her Dad likes blondes And Dillon like red heads I guess Blue eyes do tel lies Just enough times for me to right this But in the right way It's just another night with a knife in my back In the life after I was a wife And time traveled backwards With the Fists Idk, I lost my mind after that. I learned to write and not cry about it I take the tale of the dead man's chest X marks the spot next on the guest list I guess But damn. I haven't laughed hard enough to orgasm— Blame it on the acid And Dillon Francis I had a heart attack I guess that's what this is— An art attack I'd take it back Tit for tat If TiTs was bad But it's like Wonderland …with dancers. (Yeah. Keep it classy.) I love Random Album But there's songs I gotta skip And I get that I'll be alone anyway For the rest of the days that I live Whether I'm without you or with Cause you are just My other half Whatever man. I'm honestly just done with being fucked with Falling in love, then being shoved out of it By fucking Sonny I guess I suffer the consequences Of complications I love a compilation —oh, that's where I know Kayla Lauren from. A porn star. Ahem. Fitness model Ahem Podcaster (But only after I started mine so) Find me! Throw up your signs And fine me for being this fine I'll find a way to die Or at least get to the next life Where I'm wife material For the right guy On the right side Of a race war and —be a whole girl Cause I'm so androgynous it hurts It's always her I guess the curse worked I almost feel bad for reversing it (But I don't.) Enjoy the world. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

InVinoRadio.TV
1236e émission - Benjamin Gutmann et Thomas Petit

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2023 21:06


DIMANCHE 29 OCTOBRE 2023 Benjamin Gutmann - Château Jouvente (Bordeaux)   Niché au cœur des Graves, le Château Jouvente est avant tout le fruit du coup de cœur de David. Fondateur de Praxis International, c'est en 2016 qu'il décide de changer de vie en acquérant une propriété viticole. Au côté de Benjamin, son fils cadet, ils exploitent aujourd'hui 8,7 ha de vignes certifiées, HVE 3. Propriété emblématique de l'Appellation Graves, les vins du domaine ont été primés à de nombreuses reprises et la propriété a été classé 3 années consécutives parmi les 10 meilleures destinations oenotouristiques de France par Terre de Vins.   Thomas Petit - Solumatic    Meilleurs amis depuis toujours, c'est en 2014 que Teddy Pereira et Thomas décident de créer Solumatic dans le but de permettre aux vignerons de se développer plus rapidement. A travers les fondateurs aident les viticulteurs à progresser et à accroître leur efficacité tout en continuant à se consacrer pleinement à leur métier. Pour atteindre cet objectif, Solumatic a développé des outils permettant aux professionnels d'automatiser leurs tâches administratives, commerciales et marketing.   

Dreamscapes Podcasts
Dreamscapes Episode Episode 143: Judgment of the Nornir

Dreamscapes Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2023 104:48


"And to a meeting Hveðrungr's maid called the third king from the world, at the time when Halfdan, he who lived at Holt, had embraced the judgment of the nornir; and at Borró the victorious men later did hide the king." - Snorri Sturluson, Ynglinga saga

High Value Entrepreneurs
#10 - Créer les Oscars de l'influence

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2023 81:20


C'est le dernier épisode de cette 1ère saison de "HVE" ! Roger Ormières part à la rencontre de Lolita Abraham, fondatrice & CEO de E-Idols Agency et des Influencer Awards Monaco

High Value Entrepreneurs
#9 - Faire exploser une marque dans la restauration

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2023 69:21


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre d'Alex Rafaitin, co-fondateur de Père & Fish

High Value Entrepreneurs
#8 - Innover pour changer le monde

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2023 100:06


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre de Bruno Mendes Da Silva, co-fondateur & CEO de Heex Technologies

High Value Entrepreneurs
#7 - Faire exploser son business grâce à son personal branding

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2023 81:37


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre de Harold Gardas, co-fondateur & CEO de KÖM

High Value Entrepreneurs
#6 - Booster son quotidien avec le vinaigre de cidre

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2023 65:41


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre de Marina Lemaire, fondatrice de Archie

High Value Entrepreneurs
#5 - Créer une culture d'entreprise unique

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2023 75:57


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre d'Olivier Ramel, co-fondateur de Kymono

High Value Entrepreneurs
#4 - Casser le game de la restauration

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2023 72:59


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre de Cathy Closier, fondatrice de Season

High Value Entrepreneurs
#3 - Rendre l'ordinaire extraordinaire

High Value Entrepreneurs

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2023 66:16


Pour ce nouvel épisode de "HVE", Roger Ormières part à la rencontre de Louis Marty, co-fondateur & CEO de Merci Handy

Basilic
Le circuit court : l'avenir des supermarchés ?

Basilic

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2023 32:00


Aujourd'hui, Jeane reçoit Paul DEISLER, responsable du magasin Otera du bassin annécien. Dans cet épisode, découvrez le témoignage inspirant de Paul Deisler, responsable du magasin Otera du bassin annécien, qui a décidé de mettre ses compétences au service d'un réseau avec un impact plus vertueux et écologique. Les magasins Otera sont pensés comme des marchés plus que des supermarchés. Ils proposent des produits frais, en circuit court. Les marchandises sont achetées en direct auprès des producteurs, pour une production durable. Vous pouvez y retrouver des fruits & légumes, boucherie, poissonnerie, crémerie, plats cuisinés, épicerie et pain. Paul partage avec nous la notion de circuit court, et décrypte les fausses conceptions : circuit court n'est pas synonyme produits locaux. Otera utilise les circuits-courts afin de gagner en proximité avec les producteurs locaux et en transparence avec sa transparence. L'entreprise engagée garantit une juste rémunération du producteur, un point important pour une transition écologique durable. Pour vous retrouver facilement entre tous les fabuleux produits proposés et choisir ceux qui correspondent le mieux à vos valeurs, Otera propose un balisage pour ses produits : bio, de saison, HVE, alternative viande, avec un emballage recyclage ... Otera a de nombreuses initiatives écologiques inspirantes comme la mise en place de paniers anti-gaspi. Depuis 2021, Otera a établit une liste une liste noire d'additifs que l'entreprise positive met à jour régulièrement, pour éviter de les retrouver sur ses étals. Un épisode passionnant pour repenser les supermarchés, s'interroger sur leur impacts, et choisir des options plus durables pour notre consommation et plus saines pour notre santé ! Ressources complémentaires : Otera : https://www.otera.fr/ Otera Annecy : https://www.otera.fr/magasins/otera-epagny Épisodes connexes : La ferme intégrale & la découverte de l'aquaponie : écouter ici. Les 3 chouettes : écouter ici. La transparence alimentaire : écouter ici. Soutenir Basilic : instagram.com/basilicpodcast/ basilicpodcast.com Production : Jeane Clesse Musique : @Klein Graphisme : Mahaut Clément & Coralie Chauvin Mix : Jeane Clesse Si cet épisode vous a plu, n'hésitez pas à laisser plein d'étoiles et un commentaire sur la plateforme Apple Podcasts et surtout à vous abonner grâce à votre application de podcasts préférée ! Cela m'aide énormément à faire découvrir Basilic à de nouveaux auditeurs et de nouvelles auditrices.

Maintenant, vous savez
Qu'est-ce que la “haute valeur environnementale”, ce label alimentaire contesté ?

Maintenant, vous savez

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2023 4:49


Créé par le ministère de l'Agriculture en 2012, le label “haute valeur environnementale”, dit HVE, fait légion dans les fermes écologiques et se retrouve sur les étals de fruits et légumes des supermarchés. Il correspond au niveau le plus élevé de respect de l'environnement en agriculture selon les critères de l'Etat. Un peu moins de 30 000 exploitations agricoles sont détentrices de ce label. Cependant, certains agriculteurs et agricultrices HVE ont entamé un recours en justice pour tromperie au consommateur en janvier 2023. Il existe 3 niveaux de certification HVE mais ici, nous nous concentrons uniquement sur la troisième. En effet, les 2 autres peuvent être assimilés à n'importe quelle exploitation agricole. Par exemple, pour être éligible au niveau 1 HVE il suffit de bénéficier d'aides de la politique agricole commune. C'est le cas de la moitié des agriculteurs en France selon une étude de l'atlas de la Pac réalisée en 2019. Comment être détenteur du label HVE ? Quels sont les critères d'obtention ? Pourquoi les agriculteurs critiquent aussi lourdement le label ? Écoutez la suite de cet épisode de "Maintenant vous savez". Un podcast Bababam Originals, écrit et réalisé par Samuel Lumbroso. À écouter aussi : A quoi va ressembler l'agriculture de demain ? Qu'est-ce que l'agrivoltaïsme ? Qu'est-ce que l'agribashing ? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Choses à Savoir ÉCONOMIE
Pourquoi le label « Haute valeur environnementale » est-il si critiqué ?

Choses à Savoir ÉCONOMIE

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 2:00


Conscients d'une demande forte à cet égard, de la part des consommateurs, les pouvoirs publics soutiennent des initiatives propres à encourager une agriculture plus respectueuse de l'environnement et de la santé humaine.Mais elles ne sont pas forcément appréciées des associations de défense des consommateurs. En effet, plusieurs d'entre elles dénoncent le label "Haute valeur environnementale" (HVE), mis en place en 2012.On voit, sur ce label, une ferme, surmontée d'un soleil rayonnant et d'un papillon. Ces éléments bucoliques, et les mots utilisés pour cette certification, ont de quoi donner confiance aux consommateurs.Et c'est bien ce que lui reprochent les associations. En effet, elles jugent qu'il y a tromperie sur la marchandise.Ces associations, mais aussi certains organismes publics, estiment que le consommateur est dupé par un logo qui lui fait espérer des conditions de culture idéales. Or il n'en serait rien.Les conditions à respecter, pour obtenir ce label, seraient beaucoup moins contraignantes que le cahier des charges de l'agriculture biologique. Les agriculteurs ayant obtenu le label HVE pourraient même utiliser des pesticides, et parmi les plus dangereux. Par ailleurs, le dispositif ne serait pas encadré par des contrôles suffisants, ceux-ci n'ayant lieu que tous les trois ans.D'après les associations, la situation serait d'autant plus grave que ce label, plus facile à obtenir, aurait rencontré un grand succès. En juillet 2022, environ 30.000 exploitations en bénéficieraient. On aurait enregistré, à cet égard, une progression de 56 % en un an. La viticulture représenterait d'ailleurs, à elle seule, près de 70 % des exploitations concernées.Fort mécontentes, les associations de défense des consommateurs ont donc saisi le Conseil d'État pour faire annuler le label HVE. Face à cette offensive, les autorités répondent que, sur le demande de Bruxelles, elles ont récemment renforcé les conditions donnant accès à ce label.Quant aux agriculteurs concernés par ce dispositif, ils déplorent l'attitude de ces associations, rappelant notamment que ce label représente une étape vers une agriculture plus soucieuse de l'environnement. Et donc, à leurs yeux, un progrès. Hébergé par Acast. Visitez acast.com/privacy pour plus d'informations.

Choses à Savoir ÉCONOMIE
Pourquoi le label « Haute valeur environnementale » est-il si critiqué ?

Choses à Savoir ÉCONOMIE

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2023 2:30


Conscients d'une demande forte à cet égard, de la part des consommateurs, les pouvoirs publics soutiennent des initiatives propres à encourager une agriculture plus respectueuse de l'environnement et de la santé humaine. Mais elles ne sont pas forcément appréciées des associations de défense des consommateurs. En effet, plusieurs d'entre elles dénoncent le label "Haute valeur environnementale" (HVE), mis en place en 2012. On voit, sur ce label, une ferme, surmontée d'un soleil rayonnant et d'un papillon. Ces éléments bucoliques, et les mots utilisés pour cette certification, ont de quoi donner confiance aux consommateurs. Et c'est bien ce que lui reprochent les associations. En effet, elles jugent qu'il y a tromperie sur la marchandise. Ces associations, mais aussi certains organismes publics, estiment que le consommateur est dupé par un logo qui lui fait espérer des conditions de culture idéales. Or il n'en serait rien. Les conditions à respecter, pour obtenir ce label, seraient beaucoup moins contraignantes que le cahier des charges de l'agriculture biologique. Les agriculteurs ayant obtenu le label HVE pourraient même utiliser des pesticides, et parmi les plus dangereux. Par ailleurs, le dispositif ne serait pas encadré par des contrôles suffisants, ceux-ci n'ayant lieu que tous les trois ans. D'après les associations, la situation serait d'autant plus grave que ce label, plus facile à obtenir, aurait rencontré un grand succès. En juillet 2022, environ 30.000 exploitations en bénéficieraient. On aurait enregistré, à cet égard, une progression de 56 % en un an. La viticulture représenterait d'ailleurs, à elle seule, près de 70 % des exploitations concernées. Fort mécontentes, les associations de défense des consommateurs ont donc saisi le Conseil d'État pour faire annuler le label HVE. Face à cette offensive, les autorités répondent que, sur le demande de Bruxelles, elles ont récemment renforcé les conditions donnant accès à ce label. Quant aux agriculteurs concernés par ce dispositif, ils déplorent l'attitude de ces associations, rappelant notamment que ce label représente une étape vers une agriculture plus soucieuse de l'environnement. Et donc, à leurs yeux, un progrès. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comically Comics
Let's Talk Antman and Peacemaker.

Comically Comics

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 51:30


Today we talk about the Antman & Wasp Quantumania Trailer and Peacemaker Episodes 3 & 4. Hve our feelings on peacemaker changed though???

A Tale of Two Hygienists Podcast
Evaluating Grip, Pinch Force and HVE Units with Stephanie Botts, RDH

A Tale of Two Hygienists Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2022 8:13


This week on A Tale of Two Hygienists TIPisode we are joined by Stephanie Botts, RDH who is a clinical hygienist and ergonomic specialist. Today Stephanie talks to us about grip, pinch force, and the importance of evaluating our HVE unit and how we use it.    This TIPisode is sponsored by Air Techniques! Learn more about their products at https://www.airtechniques.com/en/  Stephanie Botts: https://www.posturepros.net/ 

A Tale of Two Hygienists Podcast
Evaluating Grip, Pinch Force and HVE Units with Stephanie Botts, RDH

A Tale of Two Hygienists Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2022 8:13


This week on A Tale of Two Hygienists TIPisode we are joined by Stephanie Botts, RDH who is a clinical hygienist and ergonomic specialist. Today Stephanie talks to us about grip, pinch force, and the importance of evaluating our HVE unit and how we use it.    This TIPisode is sponsored by Air Techniques! Learn more about their products at https://www.airtechniques.com/en/  Stephanie Botts: https://www.posturepros.net/ 

InVinoRadio.TV
1137e émission - Laetitia Ouspointour et Julien Beck

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2022 24:25


SAMEDI 01 OCTOBRE 2022   Laetitia Ouspointour - Créa Wine Depuis toujours le vin fait partie de la vie de Laetitia ! Issue d'une famille de vignerons, elle a choisi comme une évidence de s'orienter vers le monde du vin. Après des études de dégustation, elle forge ses connaissances en tant que sommelière dans de nombreux établissements à l'étranger. Depuis toujours, Laetitia adore transmettre sa passion pour le vin ! Elle anime d'ailleurs la chronique « Accords Mets & Vins » sur France Bleue Gironde. Ces valeurs de partage et de transmission se sont concrétisées pendant la pandémie. C'est à ce moment qu'elle fonde Créa Wine : l'atelier de vin à emporter, que vous soyez professionnels aguerris ou particuliers néophytes. Médaillée d'argent au concours Lépine 2022, cette invention se veut pédagogique et ludique en mettant en boîte l'art de la dégustation et de l'assemblage. À travers son projet, Laetitia vous guide dans un parcours de dégustation, vous permettant d'apprendre à voir, sentir et bien sûr goûter du vin. Julien Beck - Domaine Francis Beck & Fils  C'est ici une véritable histoire de famille : en 1974, Francis Beck décide de vinifier et embouteiller sa première cuvée, au cœur de l'Alsace. Plus de 30 ans après, c'est aujourd'hui son fils Julien qui est à la tête du domaine familial depuis 2004. Passionné de viticulture et de viniculture, il met un point d'honneur sur la qualité du vin et le respect de l'écologie. Ses vignes sont travaillées avec des produits naturels pour préserver l'environnement. Le vignoble est composé de 9 ha certifiés HVE depuis 2019, et la récolte 2022 sera la première récolte bio. Julien a également diminué les rendements pour en tirer le meilleur de la vigne et pour produire des vins d'une authenticité rare. Le domaine vous propose aussi des dégustations, des visites ou encore des événements. Et même des journées au cœur des vendanges. Après 40 ans d'expérience, la gamme proposée s'est enrichie progressivement. Ainsi, le domaine a, à sa carte, une trentaine de références différentes, allant du Crémant d'Alsace aux différentes eaux-de-vie.  

InVinoRadio.TV
1126e émission - Antonin Van Niel et Isabelle Courbet

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2022 24:24


DIMANCHE 03 JUILLET 2022 Antonin Van Niel - Distillerie d'Isle de France  Cette distillerie est avant tout une histoire d'amitié entre 3 passionnés : Antonin Van Niel, Olivier Flé et Michael Landart. L'idée naît en 2016 et se construit pendant 3 ans jusqu'à la création de la Distillerie d'Isle-de-France en 2019 dans la ferme d'Olivier à Fresnes-sur-Marne. Construite en 1760, cette ferme est chargée d'histoire puisqu'elle a appartenu à la Comtesse de Ségur. L'objectif des trois amis est simple : concevoir des produits uniques, en circuit court, tout en privilégiant l'agriculture de conservation et le développement local. La majorité des matières premières est produite directement sur place. La protection de la biodiversité est également au cœur des préoccupations. Olivier a par exemple planté 11ha en agroforesterie afin d'avoir une vraie continuité allant du champ jusqu'à la bouteille. Le projet est un succès grâce à la complémentarité et le talent de chacun : Antonin est responsable de la stratégie marketing et opérationnelle, Michael est mixologue et apporte sa créativité à la marque, et enfin, Olivier est agriculteur et s'occupe de la partie production. Une jolie gamme de 3 gins et 1 rhum est déjà proposée et une nouveauté côté Whisky sortira en fin d'année 2022.    Isabelle Courbet - Domaine Pujol  Etabli depuis 5 générations sur la commune de Saint-Frichoux dans l'ouest du Minervois, le Domaine Pujol est reconnu pour ses vins d'une grande qualité et finesse. Tout a commencé en 1880 lorsque l'arrière-grand-père de Jean Claude Pujol, Louis Biscan, était un petit vigneron de Saint-Frichoux avec 5 hectares de vignes entièrement travaillés à la main. Aujourd'hui, Jean-Claude le propriétaire du domaine cultive plus de 100 hectares ! Il est entouré d'une partie de sa famille, notamment son fils Emmanuel et sa nièce Stéphanie qui apportent un regard neuf et un véritable renouveau dans le marketing. La partie commerciale est gérée par Isabelle, experte dans la vente du vin, qui viendra nous parler des stratégies mises en place au sein du domaine. Le domaine Pujol innove, se développe tout en respectant l'environnement. Le vignoble est certifié HVE niveau 3 et est en conversion bio depuis août 2020.   

Euradio
Les labels environnementaux en question avec Sabine Bonnot

Euradio

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2022 26:35


AB, HVE, écolabel européen, vous l'aurez sans doute remarqué, les labels environnementaux se multiplient dans le secteur de l'agroalimentaire, jusqu'à créer la confusion chez les consommateurs et éveiller les soupçons de greenwashing. Alors quel est l'intérêt de l'étiquetage environnemental ? Quelles sont les conséquences de cette profusion de labels ? Comment changer les réglementations françaises et européennes en faveur d'un étiquetage pertinent ? On en discute avec Sabine Bonnot, présidente de l'ITAB (institut technique de l'agriculture biologique) et porte-parole du Planet-score, nouveau système de notation environnementale prenant notamment en compte les grandes limites planétaires.

InVinoRadio.TV
1097e émission - Pierre Montégut et Clément Nicolas

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2022 24:38


Samedi 09 avril 2022  Pierre Montégut - Château Suduiraut  Après des études à l'ENITA Bordeaux puis à l'Institut d'œnologie de Talence, Pierre a débuté sa carrière en 1988 en passant par le Médoc aux Châteaux Potensac et Léoville Las Cases, par Vouvray ou encore Buzet. C'est en 2004 qu'il décide de poser ses valises dans le Sauternais et il devient directeur technique du Château Suduiraut. Ce Premier Cru Classé à Sauternes en 1855 appartient au groupe AXA Millésimes depuis 1992. Pierre apporte aujourd'hui sa passion pour les vins liquoreux à une propriété historique et d'une grande notoriété. Sur les 91 hectares de vignes, on retrouve les cépages typiques de Sauternes : le Sémillon et le Sauvignon. Suduiraut bénéficie d'un véritable terroir d'exception où l'environnement est au cœur des priorités puisque le Château est certifié HVE. Pierre et ses équipes sont passionnés par leur travail et tous unis autour d'un même but : élaborer l'un des plus grands vins du monde.    Clément Nicolas - Domaine de Bellivière Avec une enfance entre les vignes et la cave, devenir vigneron est apparu comme une évidence pour Clément. Après des expériences en Alsace et dans la Loire, il rejoint le domaine familial en 2015. Son épouse Laure-Anne le rejoint en 2020. Le Domaine de Bellivière est une véritable histoire de famille puisque Clément a travaillé avec ses parents Christine et Eric qui ont créé le domaine en 1995. Tout a commencé avec 3.5 hectares de vignes pour arriver aujourd'hui à un total de 18 hectares sur les appellations Jasnières et Coteaux-du-Loir. Depuis 2020, c'est maintenant Clément seul qui poursuit l'histoire du Domaine de Bellivière et fait perdurer le travail et les valeurs de ses parents. La préservation de l'environnement est au cœur des préoccupations de la famille. En effet, les sols sont intégralement travaillés sans désherbants ni produits chimiques et l'intégralité du vignoble est conduite en bio depuis 2005 et biodynamie depuis 2008.   

InVinoRadio.TV
1093e émission - Jean-Emmanuel Parcé et Jean-François Quenin

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2022 24:47


Samedi 26 mars 2022  Jean-Emmanuel Parcé - Domaine de la Rectorie  Issu d'une famille de vignerons, Jean-Emmanuel suit naturellement des études d'œnologie. Après des expériences dans différents domaines, il revient au domaine familial en 2010. Le Domaine de la Rectorie est géré par la famille Parcé depuis 1984 et Jean-Emmanuel incarne aujourd'hui le renouveau de la famille. Il fait perdurer le savoir-faire transmis par sa famille tout en adaptant le domaine au contexte actuel. Nous parlerons notamment de la conversion en agriculture bio du vignoble ou encore du réchauffement climatique qui est absolument à prendre en compte selon Jean-Emmanuel. Le domaine de la Rectorie s'étend aujourd'hui sur une trentaine d'hectares et produit des vins en appellation Banyuls et Collioure. Ce terroir avec des parcelles d'expositions et d'altitudes différentes n'est pas des plus faciles à travailler mais Jean-Emmanuel et sa famille ont réussi à porter le domaine à un très haut niveau et comptent bien continuer sur cette voie.    Jean-François Quenin - Château de Pressac  Après une carrière dans la distribution, Jean-François se lance un défi et décide de se lancer dans le monde du vin en 1997. Il part donc de zéro et commence par suivre une formation viti-vinicole à Blanquefort avant d'acheter une propriété historique de Saint-Emilion : le Château de Pressac. Jean-François rénove entièrement la propriété d'une quarantaine d'hectares et son objectif est de réussir à obtenir le meilleur de ce magnifique terroir. Le Château de Pressac est le seul Grand Cru Classé à réunir aujourd'hui 6 cépages dont du Merlot, Cabernet Franc ou encore Petit Verdot. Soucieux de préserver la nature, Jean-François a fait du Château de Pressac une propriété pilote en matière d'environnement avec notamment une certification HVE niveau 3. En parallèle de la conduite de son vignoble, Jean-François a occupé différents postes dans l'univers du vin de bordeaux, notamment Président de l'Union Saint-Emilion-Pomerol-Fronsac ou encore président du Conseil des Vins de Saint-Emilion.    

Tappvarpið
Tappvarpið #137: Steindi Jr. og Bjarki Óm hita upp fyrir UFC London

Tappvarpið

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2022 95:46


Steindi Jr. og Bjarki Ómars komu í 137. þátt Tappvarpsins þar sem var hitað upp fyrir UFC bardagkavöldið í London þar sem Gunnar Nelson mætir Takashi Sato. -Sögustund -Hvað vitum við um Sato? -Hve langt mun líða þar til Gunni mun skjóta inn? -Hendur uppi! -Aspinall lestin -Djúpt card með gullkynslóð Breta

Quirky Gems' Podcast
Migraines - revisited

Quirky Gems' Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2022 27:31


Do you suffer with migraine? Hve you noticed they're getting worse lately? Perhaps your newly diagnosed? Gem talks about her journey with migraine, how it's changed and how it's helped to remind her of a place she feels complete and accept a part of herself alot more. Music: free-stock-music.com. Advertise with me: thequirkygem.wordpress.com/contact twitter: @radi0gem instagram: @radi0gem --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/quirky-gems-podcast/message

InVinoRadio.TV
1085e émission - Mickaël Sire et Emmanuel Trigaux

InVinoRadio.TV

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2022 24:46


Samedi 26 février 2022 Mickaël Sire  Issu d'une famille vigneronne, Mickael a toujours voulu être vigneron. Après un BTS viti-oeno à Montpellier et différentes expériences en France et à l'étranger notamment Afrique du Sud et Nouvelle Zélande, il s'installe au domaine familial. Il investit rapidement dans une nouvelle cuverie afin de moderniser le chai familial datant de 1906 et pouvoir travailler les cuvées avec plus de précision. Portant une grande importance au respect de l'environnement, Mickaël a converti le domaine en bio en 2010. Les terroirs sont principalement schisteux et classés sur plusieurs appellations : Côtes du Roussillon Villages ou Cru Tautavel pour les vins secs ou Rivesaltes pour les vins doux naturels. Ambitieux dans l'âme, Mickael fait aussi partie d'un groupe de vignerons qui tente de trouver des solutions agronomiques aux problématiques actuelles et futures. On le retrouvera pour parler par exemple du travail des vignerons catalans sur les cépages autochtones ou encore de l'évolution des vins du Sud.    Emmanuel Trigaux  Après une dizaine années d'expérience dans la grande distribution en tant que directeur de supermarchés, Emmanuel retrouve le goût pour la vigne avec sa compagne Marion, fille de vigneron. Il tient sa passion pour le vin de son père, grand épicurien et amateur de vins. Emmanuel décidé alors de se reconvertir en 2016 pour se former à la gestion de l'exploitation viticole. Une formation riche en rencontre et en enseignement, avec notamment un stage chez Frédéric Mabileau à St Nicolas de Bourgueil. Puis il crée le Domaine de la Jacquelinière fin 2017 avec moins d'1 hectare appartenant à sa famille. Le Domaine ne cesse de grandir : 3 ha en 2018, 6 en 2019 pour arriver à 7 ha aujourd'hui ! L'exploitation viticole est certifiée HVE depuis 2021. En ce début d'année 2022, il démarre une collaboration sur 1 hectare avec le cuisinier Vincent Simon installé dans la Touraine. Le projet d'Emmanuel est de créer une nouvelle cuvée et de continuer de faire connaître l'ensemble de sa gamme.    

Level Up Infection Prevention
S2E2 CordEze: Must haves for the Infection Control Coordinator

Level Up Infection Prevention

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2022 30:46


In this episode of the Level Up Infection Prevention Podcast, our guest is Debra Dencek. She is the Founder and CEO of CordEze, a registered dental hygienist, and a certified ergonomic assessment specialist. Dencek graduated from Northern Arizona University with a bachelor's degree in dental hygiene, and she continues to work clinically while promoting ergonomics in dentistry. Today, she talks with us about CordEze and why it is an essential tool that every dental practitioner should have. Deb's Backstory [1:43] Deb morphed into this business owner, inventor, salesperson, and marketing person. She had to learn many hard lessons throughout her life, and many of them were very expensive lessons. After graduating, she would always recommend to other students to do temping at least for a short time because it can give you a quick lesson on adapting to each environment you go into. Creating CordEze [2:27] Deb loves ultrasonic scaling. When she was still learning about it, she had to learn a lot of instrumentation. The reason she loved it is because it was easier on the body. But the issue was that the cord was always getting in her way. The cord issue became a drag. This led Deb to start and create CordEze, which helps practitioners become more efficient. You can readjust your hand or adjust the cord and then go back into the same spot you were originally in. [4:04] For Deb, there's a difference between having a thought and having a vision or something that comes to you through the universe. That is where she gives grace because when she has a problem, the solution just comes through her. The next step was to take her idea and make it into something and bring it into the world. She then started making prototypes of wristbands until she finally got to CordEze. Giving Ourselves Grace [6:03] Deb says that it's important to give ourselves grace, learn something new, and implement something that we think will be helpful. It takes a minute for others to get used to doing something other than what they were taught in school. Maybe they need a referral from somebody that they trust. Then there are other people who just simply are hardcore at doing the things they did. Even if it hurts them in the long run, they continue to do the same thing. Effectiveness of CordEze [13:25] A study done at the University of California put sensors on hygienists' hands and forearms. They tested for the weight and the muscle workload with and without CordEze. The sensors were put on for muscle groups, and the combined muscle fatigue was reduced by 60% using CordEze. The cord pullback force was eliminated. Without CordEze, it measured 2.3 Newton. So it was 60 percent fewer non-functional grip adjustments. This equates to healthier employees and improved risk management, and you do not have to pay for people who take time off of work. Or, if they're working through pain, they may or may not be as effective at their job. Efficiency of CordEze [17:15] With anything, we can do to make ourselves more efficient, even if it's using CordEze and being more efficient with our power instrumentation, know that every second saves time. You are making people happy at the end of the day. So with CordEze, it allows you to go quicker and become more efficient. It's not that you're doing a worse job. You're just being efficient with that tool and using it the way it's designed. Using CordEze [19:27] In the Six Sense of Ergonomic, it is important to balance ourselves with proper positioning and make sure that we're safe and our foundation is supported to work around a patient. Using CordEze, Deb found with HVE that everything goes out of the window because you have a hose to pivot. With the low volume, you follow the ultrasonic scaler's tip a little more. You're not able to do that as much, even if you have a lighter hose or a mirrored hose.     [23:24] CordEze is an engineering control tool. People in dentistry all migrate to the PPE as the gold standard, and that's the least effective safety measure you can have. But with CordEze, it is a necessary tool. Even though it is simple by design, we can't afford any extra time to mess with things. So comfort was also the main focus of the tool. It had to be something that people could go in and out of very quickly. CordEze Maintenance [25:31] With CordEze, you can wipe it down with an intermediate-level disinfectant. All of CordEze adapters and wristbands are autoclavable. So you can bag them and sterilize them in between patients. If you have a long enough glove to cover your wrist, you can glove over the CordEze wristband and put the cord on top of the glove. The smaller cords add an element of friction, too, so if your cord is little, it holds nicely. [27:53] Make sure that if you're going to bag things together, the temperature doesn't vary within that. So if you have metal touching something, test the limit. Just read the manufacturer on the autoclave because many of them are different in terms of time, temperature, and pressure. Keep everything as new as possible you can. Remember that, CordEze should last a long time with good care and attention.   Learn more about CordEze and Deb Dencek at: Website: https://cordeze.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cordeze/    

Level Up Infection Prevention
S2E4 Dove Dental: Must haves for the Infection Control Coordinator

Level Up Infection Prevention

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2022 37:35


In this episode of the Level Up Infection Prevention Podcast, we have invited Jim Langeloh from Dove Dental Products, a company dedicated to developing and bringing to the market cost-effective disposables for increasing patient safety. With their new products in the market, Jim shares his time to explain their latest products, all about backflow in the dental operations, how to prevent it, and why we should all be concerned about it. Don't miss out! All About Dove Dental Products  [01:04]  DOVE Dental Products' presence in the dentistry industry has progressed since they started as a small start-up a few years ago. Because of COVID, disposables have been put on the map in the last two years. DOVE Dental advanced the product with more safety standards. They started as a saliva ejector valve and an HPE valve. Now, they've progressed to aerosol capturing HVE, saliva ejectors that capture aerosols. Backflow preventers are installed in every system. It's all about staying safe. As a result, they have a staff committed to developing safer products.  What is Backflow?  [03:05] Similar to a straw when you're drinking out of a glass when you close around it, the fluid goes back the wrong way. Patients close around a saliva ejector, and it's proven that 1 in 4.5 patients received backflow. Unfortunately, that's all the stuff that is inside this valve that has the likelihood of going the wrong way. If we're looking at 25% of the time and look at the market, most people never cleaned these. [04:08] All those patients in between are at tremendous risk for backflow. It happens in saliva ejectors, but the research points right to HVE. Unfortunately, it's the same vacuum. And if the patient closes around the HVE, they're just as likely to get backflow, whether it's HVE or SE, because of the same vacuum.  [04:39] Backflow is when the changes in air pressure go the wrong way. What affects it is our air pressure changes from room to room.       Importance of Sterilizing [05:53] Go to your dental chair and look at the original instruction guides. Under the assistance instrumentation guides, you will find that there are roughly two to three pages each for cleaning between patients cleaning routinely. Sterilizing, disassembling, etc., they give you a full view page of an extensive document of what should be done between patients. DOVE Dental Products guarantees that the valves are clean, disposable, and can stop that backfill from occurring. Evacuation Valves  [11:00] One powerful thing that you can see is evacuation valves, and DOVE Dental is the only one that makes disposable evacuation valves. But there are innovative products on the market that address aerosols and help the patient and the dental professional stay safer. One of the most impactful things is evacuation. It's chairside, usually right over the patient, and patients can see firsthand. It's not that old 1972 evacuation valve. It's something new, looks safe, and works a little more advanced in their mouth. In today's environment, we hear it all the time. It looks clean, and you are guaranteed that you don't have to worry about backflow. Double Arrow Saliva Ejector  [15:26] The double arrow saliva ejector is shortened. DOVE Dental had a panel of hygienists they worked with changing the saliva ejector's distance.  They shrunk a standard saliva ejector down by almost two and a half inches. You can still make your turns, twists, and you can still access the patient's full mouth with the saliva ejector. They created sort of a funnel, where it connects to an HPE, and that funnel has just the right amount of air to give you a full poll on a slide projector. Double Arrow Wide Mouth Saliva Ejector [16:55] The double arrow wide mouth has eventually settled on 22 millimeters. DOVE Dental came out with this huge wide mouth HBE, and it has exterior holes on the outside that allow you to capture aerosol if it sneaks by this huge 22-millimeter opening.     Affordable Products [24:00] DOVE Dental has made ten or more price decreases to make their products more affordable. Now, they are doing BOGOs and just trying to make sure any type of office can afford them, whether school or large group practice or just the small office. That's the goal of DOVE Dental, which they continue to address as a team. Tailcaps [26:59] These are super inexpensive little pieces of rubber, and you could reuse them. They're designed to be disposable. But it's a dual Tailcap, meaning it does two things. First, its cover slide projector covers HVE. It just makes things a little easier between patients. The other option is the patient's leaves, tubing gets wiped down, the disposable valve gets tossed, and no one gets placed right on. Tail caps are great if you're a lengthy cleaner between repeat patients. If you're a fast change or have rooms, you can swap valve to valve, making it nice and easy. And that's why it's important to have those little tail pieces clean.   If you want to know more about DOVE Dental Products, visit their website at   https://www.dovedentalproducts.com/    

La Terre au carré
La jungle des labels alimentaires

La Terre au carré

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2021 5:26


durée : 00:05:26 - Camille passe au vert - par : Camille Crosnier - AOP, label rouge, HVE, AB.... Les labels alimentaires sont très nombreux et il est souvent difficile de s'y retrouver ! Les associations UFC-Que Choisir, Greenpeace et WWF parlent de "promesses non-tenues" dans deux études conjointes.