Podcast appearances and mentions of bruce patton

In this episode of Partnering Leadership, Mahan Tavakoli speaks with Jim Detert, John L. Colley Professor of Business Administration at the University of Virginia's Darden School of Business and author of Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work. In this conversation, Jim Detert shares how we can become more courageous by developing our courage capabilities. Jim Detert also shares how leaders can nurture a psychologically safe organizational culture, enabling and encouraging more courageous interactions and decisions at work.   Some highlights:-Why attributing courage just to historical figures can be counterproductive -The importance of being more courageous and how to develop our courage muscle-Jim Detert on the benefits of courage at work-How leaders can create a psychologically safe environment that encourages team members to speak up and contribute their best at workMentioned:-Amy Edmondson, Professor of Leadership at Harvard Business School and author of Fearless Organization and Creating Psychological Safety-Vanessa Bohns (Listen to Partnering Leadership conversation with Vanessa Bohns)-Gary Bolles (Listen to Partnering Leadership conversation with Gary Bolles)-Difficult Conversations by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, and Sheila Heen-Radical Candor by Kim Scott-Giving Voice to Values by Mary C. Gentile -The Silent Language Of Leaders by Carol GoldmanConnect with Jim Detert:Jim Detert WebsiteChoosing Courage on AmazonJim Detert on FacebookJim Detert on LinkedIn Connect with Mahan Tavakoli: Mahan Tavakoli Website Mahan Tavakoli on LinkedIn Partnering Leadership Website

Passer de la recherche opérationnelle chez Air France au poste de CTO chez Acasi, c'est jongler entre maîtrise technique, management de l'humain et vision du produit. Mathieu nous raconte son parcours, entre défis, remises en question et apprentissages.Dans cet épisode, on parle aussi de création de contenu sur LinkedIn et du podcast de Mathieu : Tronche de Tech. Un échange sans filtre sur l'évolution d'une carrière dans la tech et la manière de faire grandir une équipe.————— MATHIEU SANCHEZ —————Retrouvez Mathieu :Sur LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/matsanchez/Sur son podcast Tronche de Tech : https://shows.acast.com/tronche-de-tech————— PARTIE 1/3 : PARCOURS —————(00:00) Intro + présentation de Mathieu Sanchez(03:34) Recherche opérationnelle chez Air France(09:15) Le déclic de changer de boîte(14:17) Enseignements de l'expérience chez Air France(20:41) Transition d'Air France à Yuso(24:56) Software Crafter chez Yuso, SaaS pour apps de VTC(32:07) Déclic : rendre le code plus accessible pour les autres(35:50) Recommandations de lecture(42:09) CTO chez Acasi, outil d'expertise comptable en ligne(49:08) Premiers enjeux après la prise de poste en tant que CTO(57:02) Assurer la montée en compétences de l'équipe junior(01:02:45) Perdre 9 mois de recrutement(01:15:33) Culture d'entreprise : la vision de Mathieu(01:24:20) Challenges de la double casquette CTO / CPO(01:35:20) Évolutions sur le plan humain et émotionnel(01:41:58) Ce que Mathieu préfère dans son métier aujourd'hui(01:44:41) Être une figure d'influence sur LinkedIn(01:50:12) Le processus de Mathieu pour créer du contenu accrocheur(01:57:13) Tronche de Tech : le podcast de Mathieu————— PARTIE 2/3 : ROLL-BACK —————(02:08:53) L'échec de Mathieu avec une collaboratrice(02:14:43) Les leçons qu'il tire de cette expérience(02:17:24) Où placer le curseur entre exigence et bienveillance————— PARTIE 3/3 : STAND-UP —————(02:19:11) Langage SQL : trouver la meilleure façon d'exécuter une requête(02:28:03) Ce que Mathieu aurait aimé faire plus tôt dans sa carrière(02:30:32) Recommandations de lecture (partie 2)(02:33:17) La prochaine étape pour Mathieu————— RESSOURCES —————Les livres recommandés par Mathieu :Clean Code - Robert C. Martin99 bottles of OOP - Sandy Metz, Katrina Owen & TJ StankusDomain-Driven Design Distilled - Vaugn VernonElegant Objects - Yegor BugayenkoThinking in Bets - Annie DukeDiscovery Discipline - Tristan Charvillat & Rémi GuyotDifficult Conversation - Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila HeenShutter Island - Dennis LehaneLe Jardin d'Épicure - Irvin Yalom————— 5 ÉTOILES —————Si cet épisode vous a plu, pensez à laisser une note et un commentaire - c'est la meilleure façon de faire découvrir le podcast à d'autres personnes !Envoyez-moi une capture de cet avis (LinkedIn ou par mail à dx@donatienleon.com) et je vous enverrai une petite surprise en remerciement.

Melody Wilding breaks down the crucial conversations to have with your boss to improve your work life. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) How to differentiate yourself with one conversation 2) How to build your pushback power 3) The easiest way to improve your visibility Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1038 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT MELODY — Melody Wilding is a professor of human behavior at Hunter College and author of Managing Up. She was recently named one of Insider's “most innovative career coaches.” Her background as a therapist and emotions researcher informs her unique approach, weaving evidence-based neuroscience and psychology with professional development. Her previous book is Trust Yourself. • Book: Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge • Website: ManagingUp.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen • Book: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen — THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Earth Breeze. Get 40% off your subscription at earthbreeze.com/AWESOME• BambooHR. See all that BambooHR can do at bamboohr.com/freedemoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Marsha Shandor is back with us again. She's an expert in storytelling + persuasive communication.  She deeply understands how narrative shapes our lives + influences our interactions – and if that sounds dull, this conversation is filled with her wild enthusiasm for how us humans light up when we're told a good story.  We discuss how story connects us with others + how to use it to navigate difficult conversations with empathy + curiosity. We discuss books focused on both those things. Look for previous Marsha shows, from her author interview to my fave – our 50th episode, where I shared some cracking stories and Marsha explained why they actually work. Fascinating.  And, of course, look for Book Huddles – where experts share their favourite books.  Books discussed in this episode: The Storytelling Animal - Jonathan Gottschall Difficult Conversations - Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Thanks for the Feedback - Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen Off the Mic - Deborah Francis White and Marsha Shandor Marsha's Instagram: @yesyesmarsha Marsha's Website + Secret Page - Made Just for Us: www.yesyesmarsha.com/BizBookBroadcast ==== If you'd like my help with your Business go to www.lizscully.com/endlessClients ==== And don't forget to get your reading list of the 10 essential reads for every successful biz owner - these are the books Liz recommends almost on the daily to her strategy + Mastermind clients. This isn't your usual list of biz books, these answer the challenges you've actually got coming up right now. Helpful, quick to read and very timely. Click here lizscully.com/reading to get your book list

Vous avez envi de demander une augmentation à votre patron, mais ne savez pas comment faire ? Vous allez signer un CDI dans une entreprise et voulez évoquer votre salaire lors du rendez-vous sans stresser ? Cet épisode, en utilisant un mélange de divers outils des épisodes précédents, vous apporte une stratégie concrète que vous pourrez appliquer dès demain pour obtenir une augmentation de salaire loyalement, sans mentir et tout en reforçant le lien de confiance entre vous et votre employeur. Alors à vos notes, prêts, partez ! Références : - Belfort, Jordan. Way of the Wolf: Straight Line Selling: Master the Art of Persuasion, Influence, and Success. Simon and Schuster, 2017. - Fisher, Roger, William L. Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. Penguin, 2011. - Daniel, Kahneman. Thinking, fast and slow. 2017. - Pink, Daniel H. To sell is human: The surprising truth about moving others. Penguin, 2013. L'art du mentaliste, un podcast animé par Taha Mansour et Alexis Dieux, musique par Antoine Piolé. Retrouvez Taha Mansour : - Son site : www.tahamansour.com - Instagram / Facebook : @TahaMentalisme Retrouvez Alexis Dieux : - Son site : https://www.alexisdieux.com/ - Instagram : @alexisdieuxhypnose

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.ktfpress.comIn this month's bonus episode, we talk all about why and how to have difficult conversations about important political subjects with people who disagree with you. We get into:- What are goals are in these kinds of conversations- Strategies for regulating our emotions and achieving those goals- The power dynamics to keep in mind when having these conversations- And afterward, our segment Which Tab Is Still Open?, diving into a fascinating conversation with Rev. William Barber about what Democrats could gain if they paid attention to poor votersYou can find the video of the portion of this episode that we recorded live at ktfpress.com.Mentioned in the episode- Disarming Leviathan by Caleb Campbell- The Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas- Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero- When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert- Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Shila Heen- Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillan- John Blake's interview with Rev. William BarberCredits- Follow KTF Press on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads- Follow host Jonathan Walton on Facebook Instagram, and Threads.- Follow host Sy Hoekstra on Mastodon.- Our theme song is “Citizens” by Jon Guerra – listen to the whole song on Spotify.- Our podcast art is by Robyn Burgess – follow her and see her other work on Instagram.- Editing by Sy Hoekstra- Transcripts by Joyce Ambale and Sy Hoekstra.- Production by Sy Hoekstra and our incredible subscribersTranscriptIntroduction[An acoustic guitar softly plays six notes, the first three ascending and the last three descending – F#, B#, E, D#, B – with a keyboard pad playing the note B in the background. Both fade out as Jonathan Walton says “This is a KTF Press podcast.”]Sy Hoekstra: Hey everyone, it's Sy. Quick note before we start. Stay tuned after this recording of our conversation, which we did on Substack Live because we recorded our segment, Which Tab Is Still Open, separately due to some time constraints we had. Thanks so much for listening, and the episode officially starts now.Jonathan Walton: If your relationship is broken by what you think about trans rights, then I think we need to examine what kind of relationship you had in the first place, because I think our relationships have to be much more than our opinions about the latest political topic of the day.[The song “Citizens” by Jon Guerra fades in. Lyrics: “I need to know there is justice/ That it will roll in abundance/ And that you're building a city/ Where we arrive as immigrants/ And you call us citizens/ And you welcome us as children home.” The song fades out.]Jonathan Walton: Welcome to Shake the Dust, seeking… [long pause] Jesus, confronting injustice. I am Jonathan Walton [laughter], and we're live on Substack.Sy Hoekstra: Jonathan starts the live by forgetting our tagline [laughter].Jonathan Walton: It's true. It's true. So welcome to Shake the Dust. My name is Jonathan. We are seeking justice, confronting injustice. See, this is live. Live is hard. Go for it, Sy.Sy Hoekstra: [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Thank you for being here, Sy.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah, sure. I'm Sy Hoekstra, that's Jonathan Walton.Jonathan Walton: [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: We're doing this live, if you couldn't tell. This is a live recording of our podcast. We are gonna ease into it, and then we'll be good. Don't worry.Jonathan Walton: [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: We're doing this live as a recording, and then we will be releasing the audio and the video later to our paid subscribers. So if you're listening, welcome. Alright, we are gonna be talking today about a subject that comes to us from a listener that came in as a question on our finale episode, but it came in a couple hours too late, and I missed it before we started recording. But it was such an interesting question that we decided to make a whole episode out of it. So thank you to Ashley, our listener, who sent this in. We will be talking about basically, how to regulate yourself and actually strategies you can employ when having difficult conversations with people you disagree with on important subjects, the power dynamics and everything all around it, and literally just how to do it, which is actually kind of something that a lot of people have been asking us.Ashley comes at it from a really good angle that we'll be talking about too. So we'll get to all that in a moment. We will also be talking, as we usually do in our episodes, doing our segment, Which Tab Is Still Open, diving a little bit deeper into one of the recommendations from our newsletter. And this week, we will be talking about a really great interview with William Barber, the Reverend William Barber, and basically how poor people can but often don't affect elections because of the ways that the Republican and Democratic parties approach poor people. So we will get into all that in a second. I will apologize for my voice still sounding like I have a cold. It sounds like I have a cold because I have a cold, and [laughter] I have the eternal fall-winter, father of a two year old in daycare cold [laughs]. So bear with me, and I appreciate your patience. Before we get into all this, Jonathan Walton, go ahead.Jonathan Walton: Well, if you are listening live, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for tuning in, and I just wanna encourage you to become a paid subscriber of our Substack. If you do that, you get access to video and audio of this conversation afterwards, you also get bonus episodes and our entire archive of bonus episodes as well. Plus, when you become a monthly paid subscriber, you also get access to our monthly Zoom chats, and you'll be able to comment on our posts, communicate with us on a regular basis. And so that would be great. Plus, you'll be supporting everything that we can do to help Christians confront injustice and follow Jesus. And so that's particularly in the areas of political discipleship and education, as we try to leave behind the idols of the American church. And for everybody, if you do listen to this, please go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you might listen, and give us a five-star rating. If you wanna give less than that, you can also but you can keep that to yourself.Sy Hoekstra: [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. We really appreciate it.Sy Hoekstra: Four stars and below, give us those ratings inside your head [laughter]. Also, if you have any questions and you are listening live, feel free to put them in the chat. We can answer those as we go. And alright, Jonathan, let's jump right into it.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: We got this question from Ashley. She comes at it from an interesting angle. I wanted to talk about the things that she doesn't wanna do, and then get into her questions. So she said, when she's talking about people that she disagrees with on important political or religious subjects, there's a couple of things that she did growing up. One of which was the only reason that you're engaging in these conversations as a conservative Evangelical, is to change people into you [laughs]. Is to win people over to your point of view and make them the same as you. That's your goal. Then she said she kind of grew up a little bit, went to college, became what she called it, an ungrounded liberal arts major [laughs] and started getting into what she described as the sort of millennial slash Gen Z cusp age that she is.Just it being cool to shut people down and just defeat them, destroy them in an argument. So she's just like, “I don't wanna be there just to make people into me. I don't wanna be there just to destroy people.” But she said now she finds herself in a position where most of the people around her largely agree with her on important subjects, and she just doesn't spend a lot of time around people who don't. So just kind of wants to know how to get into that, because she thinks it is important. She was saying some political organizers really convinced her that it is important to be doing that. And she just wants to know how you regulate yourself, how you go about it, and all that.What's the Goal When You're Having Difficult Disagreements on Important Subjects?Sy Hoekstra: And although that question was really interesting, and we're gonna jump into the actual strategies, I think Jonathan, the place to start is when you're having these conversations with someone, if you're not trying to cut them off, if you're not trying to turn them into you, and you're not trying to shut them down, what are you trying to do? What's the actual goal of what these conversations are? And for those of you who might be listening live or listening to us for the first time, this is Jonathan's wheelhouse [laughter]. This is right in what Jonathan does all the time. So Jonathan, go ahead, tell us what is the actual goal of these conversations?Jonathan Walton: Yes. So I wanna start off by saying that none of this is easy.Sy Hoekstra: For sure.Jonathan Walton: I'm giving you a cookie cutter, boxed up wonderful version of a cake that you don't… Like all the ingredients are in there, all you need to do is add water. And life is not like that.Sy Hoekstra: Yes.The Goal Should Be Connection, not Cutting off or ColonizingJonathan Walton: But if you're not trying to colonize someone or make them into you, and you're not trying to cut someone off just because they disagree with you, or you're not trying to cancel them, shut them down, hold them accountable in a way that leaves them feeling like a puddle of ignorance in front of you, then what you're actually trying to do is connect with them. And so I think that God made us to be in relationship with other people, and being in relationship with other people means that we're able to sit before them, to see and be seen, without trying to consume or control the other person. It's impossible to connect with someone that you're trying to control. It's impossible to connect with someone, to love someone that you're trying to consume, like to be enmeshed with and turn into yourself.And so I think one of the ways that we, what we're actually trying to do, instead of colonizing someone, instead of consuming someone, instead of controlling someone, is to connect with them. And so the foundational question that we need to ask ourselves when we're in conversations with someone who we disagree with is, “What do we want from the relationship?” So, yeah, we want to connect. And then we ask ourselves the deeper questions, hey, Ashley, [laughter] a deeper question of, “What kind of connection do I want with this person?” So for example, I know a couple. They voted differently in the election.Sy Hoekstra: [laughs] Than each other, or than you?Jonathan Walton: Yeah. Than each other.Sy Hoekstra: Okay.Jonathan Walton: I don't know if how I voted will even come up, because that wasn't the premise of the conversation.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: But this couple, their actual argument is not about like you voted for Trump and you wanted him not to vote for him. The actual thing is, how do we love each other amidst a disagreement? Because they don't know how to hold the reality that I believe something different from you and we can still remain connected. The only option they have is to consume the other person or calling them out, “You need to think like me.” Or be consumed, “I need to think like you.” Or, “Do we need to get a divorce?” Like, no. It is possible to remain connected to someone while being in disagreement, even vehement disagreement. I think what we actually need to agree on is, how do we wanna be connected? I think that's the foundational question.Connection Versus ConversionSy Hoekstra: Yeah. I like that a lot. It's funny, when we were talking about this, this did not… I don't do emotional health and relationship discipleship and all that kind of thing that Jonathan does all the time. And your answer did not immediately occur to me [laughs]. I was thinking about Ashley's question, and I was like, “Wait a minute, what is the goal? I don't even know.” Anyways, I think the framework of connection is super, super helpful, and I appreciate you laying it out for us. And it's helpful for a couple of reasons. One is, it roots us in actual relationships, meaning your real life circumstances are what's guiding you. Your goals in your relationships is what is guiding you in how you approach the question of how you have these conversations.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: And then it's something that is sort of an antidote to that evangelical tendency to try to convert everyone, like you were talking about.Jonathan Walton: Yes.Sy Hoekstra: Meaning, it's like, if you have a separate goal, then you can leave those other goals behind. But those other goals, if you don't have a new goal, those goals always stick. How you were raised is not going to change or move or be as prominent in your mind if you're not replacing it with something else.Jonathan Walton: Yeah, yeah.Sy Hoekstra: It's something that you can focus on, that you can actually do. Meaning you can make as much of an effort as you can to connect with someone, and they might not work, but you know that you did everything that you could, as opposed to trying to change someone. If your goal is changing people or defeating people, that never works. It very rarely works. And this is a weird thing that a lot of, I've realized growing up in evangelical churches, you couldn't face this directly, the fact that the overwhelming attempts that you made to evangelize someone didn't work [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Yeah. Right.Sy Hoekstra: That was just a reality that you had to ignore. The vast majority of the people that you tried, they ignored you and walked on their way. And you couldn't just stop and go like, “Maybe the thing that I'm offering them is actually not all that attractive [laughs]. Maybe the church or the community or whatever, is getting in the way of…” That stuff you couldn't face. You had to believe that you had the best way, and you had to change people, or you had to shut them down. You had to shut down your opponents if you were talking about, atheists or whatever. And that stuff, it leads to constant anxiety, because you don't control the outcome, but you want to.You feel like you have to control the outcome, but you do not control the outcome. And when it comes to connection, again, you don't control the outcome, but the goal is that you attempt, you do everything that's in your power to attempt to reach your goal of connection with this person.Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And then it also filters out the people that you don't need to have a connection with [laughter].Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: You don't have to respond to trolls. You know what I'm saying? You don't have to convert everyone. Because you're not trying to do all those things, it takes a lot of pressure off you. But I'm sorry, you were trying to say something. Go ahead.Jonathan Walton: Well, no, I think just to give some other resources, I'm pulling from Disarming Leviathan by Caleb Campbell. I'm pulling from Deeply Formed Life by Rich Villodas. I'm pulling from Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero. I'm pulling from Difficult Conversations. There's like, Crucial Conversations and Difficult Conversations and I get them mixed up.Sy Hoekstra: [laughs].Jonathan Walton: And also I'm pulling from When Helping Hurts. Because, oftentimes too, When Helping Hurts, I think it's really good, because we can start out with really good intentions, with trying to do something, quote- unquote, good for someone, when I think in reality what Sy was saying is true. We can only control what we desire, how we communicate that desire, and then pursuit of that desire.There is Vulnerability in Pursuing Connection as a GoalJonathan Walton: And then the other person actually gets to respond to that. And what's difficult about being vulnerable in connecting is that if you're trying to convert someone or control someone or colonize someone, they are rejecting a message or an idea. Or is it whereas if you are trying to connect with someone, you could feel rejected.And I think it's easier to try and persuade someone, or convince someone of an idea, rather than it is to connect with you as a person. I've been rejected by people, not just romantically [laughter].Sy Hoekstra: That too, though.Jonathan Walton: And it hurts. That as well. It's true. Tears.Sy Hoekstra: Sorry [laughter].Jonathan Walton: But one of the things is… No, it's cool. It's alright. Things worked out, praise God. But I think there's a vulnerability in, let's say I'm having a conversation with someone and they say, “Hey, Jonathan, I don't actually believe that police reform should happen. I think it's a few bad apples.” I have a few ways to go in that conversation. I could say, “Hey. Have you seen these statistics from this magazine and these FBI reports?” And go down deep into why Memphis is rejecting federal oversight. I could do that. Or I could say, “Oh, I feel afraid when you say that, because the results of that are, I'm afraid to walk outside my house because there aren't people actively pushing for reforms in the police department that occupies my neighborhood.”And that is vulnerability, because they could then invalidate my fears with their response, or whatever the thing is, but I think that that's the costly work of following Jesus in those moments.You Don't Need to Have Conversations with People Whose Goals Are Not ConnectionSy Hoekstra: Yeah. And just one more note on the goal, because we're starting to get into how these conversations actually work. But I did just wanna say one more thing about the overall goal of connection first before we move into that, just because I think this one is important. Especially for people who do ministry work of some kind, or talk about the kind of things that we talk about publicly, is if your goal is connection and the other person's goal is not connection, that's another reason that you don't have to talk to them [laughs]. Meaning, here's what I'm talking about here. I've seen you, Jonathan, in situations with people who do the kind of classic Christian thing when they disagree with something you're saying in public. They come to you and they say, “Hey, I've heard you talking about, let's say, police brutality. And I have some thoughts, I was wondering if we could just talk about it. Could we set up some time to have a Zoom?”And I've seen you go like, say to this person in not so many words basically, “I don't actually think that your goal is to have a conversation right now. I think you're upset with what I'm saying and you want to try and change me. Is that correct?”Jonathan Walton: Yeah [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: You just said that to them, and not rudely. You put it in kind words, but you're just like, “Am I right in thinking that that's really what you want here?” And if they can't say no, then you will say, “Okay, I'm sorry. I don't really think I have time for this,” [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And move on. Which is something that I don't think a lot of ministers feel the need to do. But if someone is cutting off the possibility of connection from the jump, and all they're saying is, “I want to change you,” or they're refusing to not say that all they want is to change you, [laughs] you don't have to talk to them. You have no responsibility to talk to that person because you don't have a responsibility to get into an argument with anyone. Even as a pastor. Your responsibility is to shepherd people and to lead people, and if our conversation is just going to be an argument, you don't have to talk to them. You may still want to, everything I say is subject to your personal relationships with people and your individual circumstances, but that's an option, and I want more people to know that [laughs], because I think a lot of people spend a lot of time trying to just win arguments when they don't need to be having them.Winning Arguments Is Not What Leads to RepentanceJonathan Walton: Yeah. And also too, I think we've misidentified what the fruit of a won argument is.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: So for example, if I preach a sermon, or I have a conversation with a small group of people and I give a call to faith, and someone decides to follow Jesus, I did not win an argument. They're not saying I have the best ideas, or I presented things in a really compelling way, none of that is happening. What's happening is the Holy Spirit is working within them for them to respond in some way. It's the kindness of God that leads to repentance. The Gospel is the power and transformation. I can't say, “You know what? What I drew on that napkin, or what I put in that card, when the PowerPoint slide opened and everybody went, ooh,” like, no. That was not the power. It is the power of God that draws people nigh into himself.Sy Hoekstra: Nigh unto himself [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Yes. KJV baby. KJV [laughter].How Do We Achieve Connection in Difficult Conversations?Sy Hoekstra: So let's get into then the actual strategies and kind of the meat of the question.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: That's it. Let's get into, how do you regulate yourself and what do you actually do to achieve the goal of connection?We Have to Know Ourselves to Connect with OthersJonathan Walton: Yeah, so I think the first thing is that we can't know other people unless we know ourselves. So for example, if… let's say I was having a conversation over the weekend with someone, and they said to me, “Well, I can't believe they would think that way.” And then I said, “Well, if I were in your situation, I would be pretty angry at that response. Are you upset? Do you feel angry?” I have to know, and be willing to name that I would be angry. I have to know, and be willing to imagine, like how to empathize. Like I'm listening to them, then I wanna empathize with how they're feeling, and then ask them, “Does that resonate with you?” To build some sort of emotional connection so that we stay grounded in them as an individual and not stepping up to the argument. Like “Oh, yeah. Absolutely, what they did was wrong.”I don't wanna participate in condemning other people either. I wanna connect with this person. We could commiserate around what happened, but I think we should prioritize what is happening for the person right in front of me, not just rehashing what happened to them. You know what I mean? Like figure out what's going on. So I think we have to know ourselves to be able to know other people, which includes that emotional awareness and intelligence. And then I think after that, we should affirm what's true about that person. And then, if we've done that, then be able to ask some questions or share our own perspective.Sy Hoekstra: Or what's true about what they're saying.Jonathan Walton: Yes, what's true about what they're saying, yeah. And then be able to lean in there. And if there is an opportunity and the person desires to hear what you think about it, then that's great, but I guarantee you, they will not wanna hear about what you're saying if you don't connect with them first. And so creating or building a foundation of trust that you're not trying to just convert them or consume them or colonize them, but you are trying to connect requires that first part. So slowing down, then knowing how we feel, and then being able to connect around that level is a great place to start.Connect with Whatever Is True in What the Other Person Is SayingSy Hoekstra: Can you tell us what finding what's true and what someone is saying and then affirming that value, what does that actually sound like?Jonathan Walton: Yes, absolutely. So let's go to a different script. There was a woman that had a conversation with me and was very upset that Black people could vote for Trump. This was a racially assigned White woman saying these things. And she was, I mean, raising her voice very loud, and so I said my goal… I did actually speak over her. I said, “So my goal in this conversation is for us as a group to remain connected and aware of each other and ourselves. What is your goal in what you're saying?” And I think that kind of threw cold water in her face because she didn't know what to do with that. And so she slowed down, then she said, “Well, I don't know. I haven't processed anything,” that was kind of what she blurted out.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah. I knew that, actually [laughter].Jonathan Walton: Yeah. And I said, “It's great that like you need… this is a space to process.” I said, “What I would love for you to do is to slow down and tell us what you want, because I don't think you want me to be angry, and that's actually how I'm feeling right now. Was that your goal, was for me to feel angry and disconnected from you?” And she goes, “Well, you shouldn't be mad at me.” I said, “I can own my feelings. I didn't say you made me angry. I said my feeling in what you're saying is anger. Is that your intention? Is that what you're trying to foster? Because I would actually like to have my emotional response match your intent.” And it was not an easy conversation, but she did say after about 15 minutes of this kind of back and forth, she said, “I wanted to just close my computer,” is what she said, “But I didn't.” And then I said, “I'm so glad you chose to stay.”Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: “I'm so glad you chose to remain in our group. And to affirm again, you are valuable here, we desire your contribution and things like that.”Sy Hoekstra: And you were specifically in like a cohort that you were leading.Jonathan Walton: And I think it is hard to move towards someone who… Yeah, I was leading. I was leading. And everybody else was silent. They were not saying anything, but I had follow up conversations with one person after that, who said they were very grateful that I did that, because they were like, “I didn't know that you could be patient like that with someone so animated.” They were like, “I don't understand how you were calm in that situation.” I said, “Well, I was calm because I knew who I was. I was facilitating the conversation. I was leading the dialogue.” And I said, “When I'm with my mom,” not my mom, my mom passed away. “But if I was with my dad or my brothers in that conversation, I would have to do the same thing, but it will require more work because of the emotional history that's there. This history of my family and stuff under the bridge.”So each relationship is gonna bring with it its own porcupine quills, if you will, but that doesn't mean our steps change. I think our goal is to love our neighbor as ourselves. And if we don't know ourselves, we can't love our neighbors. So in the way that we would want patience and want grace and want respect, I think we need to extend that as best as we possibly can by trying to build a connection.Sy Hoekstra: And if you're talking about, I think that's really good for a discipleship situation. Anybody who disciples people, I hope you just learned something from that story [laughs]. But if you're having, by the way, Jonathan, I've noticed as we're talking, there's a very long delay. So I apologize.Jonathan Walton: No worries.Sy Hoekstra: I just interrupted you with something that was related to something you said like three sentences later, I'm sorry [laughs].Jonathan Walton: You're all good [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: So I think when it comes to a political issue, if you're talking to someone who's saying something that you find very hurtful or very upsetting or whatever, which is where I think a lot of these questions come up for people. For a lot of people it's, “How do I talk to a Trump supporter?” That's kind of the question.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: And then, like Jonathan said, it's going to be very hard. It's going to depend on your relationship with that person. And this work can be hard. It's very hard to get people to talk about their emotions, but that's what we need to do when somebody's talking… if they're being very anti-immigrant. You need to find a way into how they're communicating and what they're saying as angry as they are, whatever. An underlying thing might be, “I feel insecure about the economy of our country, I feel insecure about my job. I feel like I'm not gonna be able to provide because somebody's gonna undercut me in wages or whatever.” All that stuff. And the way to connect with that person is to say, “That makes sense, that feeling. And if I felt that that was happening to me, I would also be insecure.”Maybe it is also happening to you, you know what I mean? You have to just find a way into that feeling, and then say, “But the way that I feel secure is X, Y and Z, about…” If you want to talk about solidarity and lifting everyone up actually makes all of us more secure. You can get into the nitty gritty of immigration and economics, if you know that stuff, and say [laughs], “Actually, in general, immigrants really help us economically. And so I actually feel more secure. I know that immigrants commit crime at lower rates than citizens. And I trust the numbers that say that, and that comes from police departments. We can go look at your police department stats. So immigrants coming in actually lowers crime. I know that's a shock, but. So I feel more secure.” All that kind of like, you try and find a way to connect on the emotion and speak in a… What I'm doing right now is summarizing and being slightly glib, but [laughs] I think that's the best you can do.People You Connect with May Not Change, or Take a Long Time to ChangeSy Hoekstra: And I know to some people, if you have a really obstinate person that feels hopeless and impossible, and I think what we're saying is you give it your best shot, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And there's nothing you can do about it not working. And it might also be something, by the way, where you talk to them now and that's the beginning of a 10-year process of them changing.Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: You don't know. This is why I said that stuff's out of your hands, is what I mean. So that's where we need to find our own internal piece about it. And then, I don't know, there's a number of other thoughts I have about what you have to do to prepare for all that, like the prep work that goes into it. But do you have other thoughts about that, Jonathan?Jonathan Walton: Well, I mean, I think just all of what you said is true, and I just wanna lean into what you said about, you cannot rush the process of that relationship. Because if your relationship is broken by what you think about trans rights, then I think we need to examine what kind of relationship you had in the first place. Because I think our relationships have to be much more than our opinions about the latest political topic of the day. We've got to be able to have conversations with people that are deeper and contain the multitudes that a person holds, as opposed to the latest tweet or share that they had.Sy Hoekstra: [laughs].Jonathan Walton: We're talking with people, we're not talking with a minimally viable product that's before us like, “Do I want this or not in my life?” And so I think even in the, let's take the example, like Caleb Campbell did a great example of this immigration. If someone actually believed that they were going to be invaded, I'm making quotes with my fingers, but invaded and they're gonna lose their job and they're gonna lose their emotional and spiritual and social security, not Social Security like the actual entitlement program, but social security like their feeling of social safety, that is objectively terrifying. If that is the narrative, then we can actually connect with people around why they're afraid.And if we connect with them why they're afraid, not convince them why they shouldn't be scared, then you actually have the opportunity to share with them why they may not need to be afraid. Because, as Sy said, immigrants crime actually goes down. Immigrants actually pay billions of dollars in taxes. Immigrants actually start businesses at a higher rate than our native population. All those things, but we can't get there unless we're connected. We cannot correct people without connecting with them. So, yeah.Getting Good at Connection Takes PracticeSy Hoekstra: Yeah. I think this takes a ton of practice.Jonathan Walton: Yes.Sy Hoekstra: You will be bad at it at first, and that's [laughter]… So I think another part of it is you have to know why it's important to you. That's another thing, and that's a personal thing. But you have to understand why connection with someone whose political beliefs or whatever you find kind of abhorrent [laughs] is something that is important to you, that work has to be done on your own and ahead of time.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: You also have to take into account… sorry. You'll just get better at it over time. So meaning it, I'd say it's only like in the last few years that I've really been able to participate in extremely difficult conversations about politics or whatever, and just be okay [laughter], no matter what the consequence of it is. And sometimes that's still not true, depending on the relationship I have with the person, but I don't know. You've got to remember that people… actually, at the beginning I remember I told you she talked about, as a young person or as millennials and Gen Z wanting to shut people down. And I actually don't think that's a generational thing. I think that's just a young people thing.I think when I was 22 I thought it was awesome to shut people down [laughs]. And I think all the most recent, this is something I know from justice advocacy work, but all the recent neurology science basically tells us you don't have an adult brain until you're like 25 [laughter]. You don't have your impulse control, you know what I mean? It's just hard.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: And it just takes time to retrain yourself to do something, It can take years. So fear not, is what I'm saying, if you think you're bad at this.Being Aware of How Much You Know about a SubjectSy Hoekstra: And then I think something that's kind of deceptively emotional is the things that don't seem emotional, like knowing your facts and being able to bow out of conversations when you don't know your facts [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: Like if you have a feeling that something's wrong, but somebody's saying something wrong, or bigoted, or whatever, but you don't have the information, A, it's gonna make you much more comfortable if you do have the information, if you've read up on it, if you know the subjects. Because you find as you dig deeper into different political issues and hot button topics, there really are only so many opinions that people have, and they're usually based on relatively shallow understandings of information. So you can know a lot of the arguments ahead of time. You can know a lot of the important facts ahead of time. You've just kind of got to pay attention and that's something that happens over time.And then if you don't know that stuff, and you try and engage anyway just based on instinct, you're gonna have a lot of times where you say stuff that you regret later [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Yes. Yes.Sy Hoekstra: You're gonna have a lot of times where you maybe even make up something just because you wanna be right and you wanna win.Jonathan Walton: Yes, you wanna win.Sy Hoekstra: And then bowing out and letting someone believe their terrible thing without you fighting against it, sometimes that can be really hard, but that's an emotional issue, that's something about you being…Jonathan Walton: Right. That's a feeling. Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah. It's always gonna be feelings, and that's why you got to have your goals clear, and whenever you can, know your stuff.Jonathan Walton: Yeah. Adam just said something, really quick. He said, “I've literally had notification of high heart rate from my Apple watch during such conversations.”Sy Hoekstra: [laughs] Yes.Jonathan Walton: And being able to have conversations without a high heart rate notification is becoming more normal.Sy Hoekstra: Yes. Good.Jonathan Walton: Yes, that has happened to me so many times. And it's true. It's fewer, it's less than what it was before that.Sy Hoekstra: That's so funny. I don't have a smart watch, so that's never happened to me, but that's so funny. And I'm glad that it's improving for both of you [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Yeah. And it's a way to track if your spiritual formation's actually forming you [laughter].Sy Hoekstra: True.Engaging in Hard Conversations with Connection as a Goal is ExhaustingSy Hoekstra: So one more thing though is, this is exhausting.Jonathan Walton: Yes.Sy Hoekstra: One of the reasons it's exhausting is not just because the whole thing is hard, but the issue is no one's ever gonna come to you, again, I guess, unless you're a pastor, and say, “Hey, next Wednesday at 4:00 pm I wanna talk to you about immigration.”Jonathan Walton: Right [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: They're going to come to you, you're gonna be having a dinner, and there's gonna be a completely random out of nowhere comment that you do not expect coming and your instinct may be in that moment to get angry or to just let it pass because you don't wanna deal with right now or whatever. And all that you have to take that into account. Again, over time it'll get easier to respond to random acts of racist bigotry, whatever. You know what I mean?Jonathan Walton: [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: But it is something that's hard to do for anyone, and so you need to take the exhaustion of constantly being on alert into account when you think about, how do I wanna connect with this person? Because if it's someone where you have to be on alert the whole time and ready to go at any moment [laughs], that's difficult. And that's somebody that you might need to hang out with less or whatever.Jonathan Walton: Yes. Yes.Sy Hoekstra: You have to make those decisions for yourself. And so I'm just saying, be willing to take that into account. Be alert to that way that you can become exhausted. Because, again, if you're really tired and you just have a snap reaction, you can say stuff you regret later.Jonathan Walton: Yes. Yes.Sy Hoekstra: Alright, Jonathan. Do you have… Yeah, you have thoughts. Go ahead and then we'll get to...Jonathan Walton: No, I was gonna say, off all of that, I think is mitigated by asking myself, “What kind of connection do I want with this person?”Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: And all of us have relationships that are not as healthy as we'd like them to be. And if my goal is not to convert someone or I don't feel this like abnormal, huge weight of this person's salvation, because that's not my responsibility, then I can say, “You know what? I just can't be with that person right now. I just can't do that.” And be able to enter into that in a healthier way, and it'll be a more loving thing.The Power Dynamics of Difficult ConversationsSy Hoekstra: Yeah, absolutely. Let's just get into, I think that's a lot of the meat of it, but let's talk about just some of the power dynamics and other things that are going on during these conversations. Jonathan, I'm happy to start if you want, but you can go ahead if you have some things you wanna flag for people.Jonathan Walton: Well, I think if we're not thinking about power dynamics then we're missing what's actually happening. So when men to women, able-bodied to disable-bodied, rich to poor, educated to uneducated. All of these things are playing all the time. So somebody's like, “Oh, you're playing the race card, or you're being ageist,” that's just the table. It's not a card. That's just the society we live in. We live in a segregated, stratified society. And so to be able to be aware of that, I think respects whether you are in the ecosystem or whether you've been lifted up by the ecosystem because of the hierarchies that we live in. I think that's just something we have to take into account of where we are and where the person that we are engaging with is or is perceived to be, then that can be a gift, just in the conversation. Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: So that's sort of like keeping in mind whether you're talking to someone who's basically [laughs] above or below you on different hierarchies, which is gonna be important. Like, if you're talking, if I as a White person am talking to a Black person about race, I have to understand the dynamics. For me, at least, what I'm thinking about is I have to be personally familiar with the stuff that Black people hear all the time [laughs], and how it is often heard, and that sort of thing. Not because I need to apply a monolithic understanding of race conversations to any individual, but just to know that that individual is probably going to hear something I say this way, or feel this way about something.Jonathan Walton: Yes.Sy Hoekstra: I'm sorry about the sirens in my background. I live in Manhattan [laughter]. So I think that's one thing. But then the other way is I as a disabled person, if I'm trying to talk to an able-bodied person about disability stuff, I just need to take into account how much more tiring that's going to be, and the work that I may have to do after the conversation to process whatever terribly insulting thing was said to me [laughter].Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And I do that all the time. That's something I have to do when I get home from dropping my daughter off at daycare. It just depends on what happened on the way there, or whatever. Another thing is that the, a person you're talking to can always walk away [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: Nobody needs to be in this conversation, and that you need to be able to accept that. You need to be able to let people go the way that Jesus did when they rejected his teachings. Because if you don't do that and [laughs] you try and force them into conversations with you, again, that's what we're trying to avoid doing, is panicking about the results and trying to make somebody like you because you think the world needs to be the way that you are. That's the colonialist mindset [laughs].Jonathan Walton: Yes [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: And then I think one other thing for me is how the person… this is back on the hierarchy thing. How what somebody else is saying is affecting other people around you, or the other person that that person has to interact with. Meaning the person that you're trying to connect with might be someone, like not the person you're talking to. It might be somebody who's sitting next to you, it might be somebody who's not there.Jonathan Walton: Yes.Sy Hoekstra: So that's just the other thing to keep in mind, because you might be trying to show somebody else that they have support, that's a huge thing. That's the person who you have a conversation with after your cohort call that you were talking about earlier. And it might be just like, if I'm talking to another White person and I know, actually doesn't matter if I know them or not, but if I'm talking about connection, if I know people of color who have to talk to this person and they're saying something that I think I can head off or correct in some way, then I should do that. And I should keep in mind my connection with that White person, but I've also top of mind it's gonna be the connection that I have with people of color who interact with that person too.Okay, those are my thoughts on that big question. Jonathan, do we have anything else to say about these conversations before we move to Which Tab Is Still Open?Jonathan Walton: [laughs] Well, I don't have anything more to say about that conversation. I do have two problems that our live audience will get to engage with.Sy Hoekstra: [laughs].Jonathan Walton: One is that I need to get… it's one o'clock.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: And so I have a time stop.Sy Hoekstra: Right now?Jonathan Walton: Yeah. And my phone is also telling me, yeah, because I was thinking, I didn't know we're gonna talk past one o'clock, but…Sy Hoekstra: [laughter] Well, we started like 12:15 so.Jonathan Walton: We did. We did, we did. And then my phone as we entered into this conversation is on the red.Sy Hoekstra: Is about to die. Alright, cool. So then I think what we'll do, Jonathan, is we'll record the Which Tab Is Still Open separately, and just add that to the bonus episode.Jonathan Walton: Absolutely.Sy Hoekstra: So again, everybody, if you wanna hear the recordings of this afterwards, and now I guess the extended version of this episode, become a paid subscriber at KTFPress.com, or just on, you're on Substack right now if you're listening to us. Become a paid subscriber, that would be amazing. If you wanna get our newsletter that's actually free, you can follow us on the free list and get us that way. Thank you so much for joining us today, we really appreciate it. Give us a five-star review on Apple or Spotify and we will see you next month. We do these once a month now that we're in the off season. And our theme song is “Citizens”, by Jon Guerra. Our podcast art is by Robyn Burgess. Joyce Ambale does the transcripts. I'm doing the editing right now and the production of this show, along with our paid subscribers. Thank you all so much for joining us, and we will hopefully see you next month or on the paid list.Jonathan Walton: Yep, bye.Sy: Bye.[the intro piano music from “Citizens” by Jon Guerra plays briefly and then fades out.]Which Tab Is Still Open?: Rev. William Barber and Poor VotersSy Hoekstra: And now this is the separate recording of Which Tab Is Still Open. We're gonna dive a little bit deeper into one of the articles from the newsletter that Jonathan brought up recently. Jonathan, why don't you tell us about the article, and we'll get into a little discussion about it.Jonathan Walton: Yes. So our good friend, John Blake, award winning journalists and former guest on this podcast interviewed Reverend Dr William Barber on his thoughts after the election. It was one of the most interesting things I read post-election, because Dr Barber has a perspective most politicians and pundits just don't. He takes a perspective of poor people seriously, like Jesus [laughter]. And so one of the things he argues was that about 30 million poor people who are eligible voters usually don't vote because neither party is addressing the issues that are important to them, like minimum wage, affordable health care, strengthening unions, etc.There was talk about strengthening unions, but not in the ways that communicate about the needs and priorities of low wage and poor workers. Republicans mostly blame poor people for their poverty, that is a consistent thing over the last 60 years. And Democrats ignore them altogether because they see them not as a viable voting block to mobilize, we should get middle class voters, which is not the same as the working poor. Barber has a history of successfully organizing multiracial coalitions of poor working class people in North Carolina to make real difference in elections. So it's not just a theoretical thing, like you can actually win elections by doing what MLK did, which Barber is in the tradition of you can have a multicultural coalition of impoverished or economically impoverished, marginalized people in the United States and actually have and hold power in the country.So even as Kamala Harris lost in November in North Carolina, voters elected a Democratic Governor and Attorney General and got rid of the veto-proof majority in the state legislature, even with all of the nonsensical gerrymandering that exist there. So Sy, what are your thoughts on all this?Sy Hoekstra: Yeah. I'm very happy that somebody in the mainstream news is actually talking about this [laughs]. That's one thing. I just haven't heard... This is one of those things where if somebody, if the Democrats got this right, they could win a lot more. I don't know how much more, Reverend Barber is very optimistic about it. I haven't dug into the numbers the way that he has as a political organizer, but he basically says if you swing like 10 percent of the poor vote in any direction in many states, and you could change a whole lot of stuff.Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: I mean, you can read the article for his exact arguments. But it is definitely true that we don't address poor voters any real way, like we get stuck on, I've talked about this before, the bias toward, quote- unquote, real America, which sort of amounts to working and middle class White people and really does not address actually impoverished people. And the average, Reverend Barber is very sensitive to this, which I think is why he's effective, is the average welfare recipient in the United States today is still White. That hasn't changed. Welfare recipients are disproportionately Black and Brown. But the demographics of this country are such that you can be disproportionately high as a racial minority, but White people are still gonna be the majority of the welfare recipients.Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And the potential interest alignment between those groups has always been intentionally broken up by elites in this country. And the thing that this raises for me is our constant, throughout our whole history, our belief that basically, poor people's opinions don't matter, that poor people's interests don't matter, and maybe poor people shouldn't even be voting in the first place. We had to have a movement in this country for universal White male suffrage [laughs] in the first few decades of this country, that was a fight. And the reason was they did not want you voting originally, if you didn't own property. And the belief behind that was, if you don't have property, then you don't have a stake in society. You don't have a sufficient stake in society to, I don't know, uphold the responsibility of voting.And in a lot of different ways that bias or that bigotry, frankly, has shot through a lot of different ways that we think about economics and politics. And just the idea like, it does not make sense to start with. If anything, the people with the most stake in how the government treats them are the people with the least power, with the with the way that society is run, are going to be the people who suffer the most when society is run poorly [laughs]. And the people who have the most independent wealth and power, meaning they can, regardless of what the government is doing, they're going to be generally alright, because they are wealthy landowners, if we're talking about the beginning of this country. They're actually kind of the least interested in how society runs, and maybe the most interested in maintaining the status quo and not having things change, which I think is what we're actually talking about.I think we're actually talking about not having significant change [laughs] in our economics, when we talk about the people who have the most quote- unquote, responsibility or the most sense of responsibility for how the society goes. And I think all of that bleeds into how both parties think today, because both parties are made up of elites. And I think there was this huge and terrible reaction to the CEO of United Healthcare being assassinated. And I was reading some stuff about it that basically said, if you're talking about healthcare, which is one of the issues that William Barber brought up, I think the reason that a lot of people don't understand the anger and the glee over the fact that this guy was killed online, which there was a ton of, which I don't support.But if you're trying to understand it there's so many elites who are the healthcare CEOs themselves, the politicians who write healthcare policy for whom, the biggest problem that health insurance is ever going to be is maybe a significant amount of paperwork. Maybe you get something declined or not covered, and you have to fight a little bit and then you get it covered again. It's not something that's going to bankrupt you or kill you. But that's a reality for many, many people around the country.Jonathan Walton: Yes.Sy Hoekstra: And if it's not bankrupt or kill, it's long, grinding trauma over a long period of time.Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And it's just so easy for us to lose sight of stuff like that and then not understand as a political party, why addressing those problems directly wouldn't matter. And when I say us in that case, I mean people who are economically comfortable and who have educated and are doing okay in this society. And so all this is what Barber's comments bring up for me is, he is trying to pay attention to real needs that real people have, and alert his party, the Democrats, to the fact that if they understood and paid attention to and took those needs seriously, they would have a ton of voters who nobody's counting on right now. Like there's no strategy around them.It's not you would be stealing voters from the Republicans, you would be bringing in a whole bunch of new voters and doing something that no one is expecting, and you'd be able to [laughs] actually make a big difference that way. Jonathan, if you have any thoughts or just your own responses to me, or your own thoughts.Jonathan Walton: Well, I think there's a there's a few things like, yeah, I'm grateful for John Blake and for media personalities that take the time to center the most marginalized people, because that was not the conversation. All the post mortem of the Democratic Party and the celebration of what Trump did, neither one of those things included real solutions for materially impoverished people in the United States. They were not a group of people that were, when you said, counted, it's literally they're not counted. They do not count in that way. There isn't analysis, there isn't engagement. And so that I think is deeply saddening. So I'm grateful for John Blake for highlighting it. I'm grateful for Barber for the work that he does.I think one of the things that highlights for me is the… because you use the word elite, and I think there was an essay a while ago that I read about the word elite and what it means and how we use it. Like Tucker Carlson says the elites, when in reality he is elite. Elite is Hell.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: The money that he makes, the universities that he went to, the position that he holds. Me and you are elite. We both have Ivy League educations, we both have graduate degrees. We are both financially secure, we are both educated and well connected. And the majority of, some of that, that I realize is that if I have those things I am insulated from the suffering that millions of people experience around health insurance. And because our classes in the United States are segregated and our churches are also often segregated, we are not going to have relationships with people that are struggling with these things. It's very difficult, at least for me, to live in Queens, to have conversations and relationships that are cross class.My children participate in activities that cost money. That's a proxy for a class decision. I drive, I do not take the train. That is a class communication. I live in a home and I own it, I do not rent. That's a class. I drive to a supermarket like Costco. You have to pay for a membership to be in Costco. These are all economic decisions, and there are going to be certain groups of people that I do not interact with every single day, because I have more money. And so I think if we stretch that out across the Democratic, Republican independent leadership in our country, the majority of us do not interact with people that are from a different class, higher or lower. And so we have these caricatures of what life looks like, which is why an executive can say it doesn't matter if we deny or defend or depose or delay or all the things that were written on these bullets that came from the person that killed the United Healthcare CEO.The reality is, I think we do not… I don't think, I know this, we do not prioritize the poor in this country. And to what you were saying, it's not that we don't prioritize poor and marginalized people, it's a strategic, intentional exclusion of them. So [laughs] like you said, the reality is, if you were not a wealthy land-owning White person, you were not allowed to vote or hold elected office. And so that's a reality. So each time a tier of people wanted to be included, there was an argument, there was a fight, there was war, there was violence. And so I believe that there is an opportunity that Barber is talking about too. It does not have to be violent to include people who are poor and marginalized.It's really just a decision to and the time and intentionality to do it. And I wish that the church did that. I wish that politicians did that. I wish that we did that as a society. And I recognize in my own life it is even still difficult to do because of how our society has set up invisible and very real fences between economic communities.Sy Hoekstra: And it's remarkable for you to say that in some ways. I mean, it makes sense that you would be the person to notice it, but it is remarkable in some ways for you to say it because you grew up as you've talked about many times, quite poor in the rural south.Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And you are actually directly connected to people who don't have a lot of money, right?Jonathan Walton: Right.Sy Hoekstra: And that's still your reality that your day to day life does not involve that many poor people.Jonathan Walton: Right. And that is, to be totally transparent, that is one of the hardest things about getting older and having children. When we go home, when I say home I'm thinking Brodnax.Sy Hoekstra: The small farming town in Virginia that you're from.Jonathan Walton: Yes. Where I'm from. It's exceptionally clear to me that the access that I have to resources, the decisions that I'm making each day are infused with the wealth and resources that surround me, just by virtue of the location that I live in. So we have to do really, really, really hard work to include people who are across classes in our lives, so that when we consider what we're going to do with our power, they are included in that decision. And I think Barber did a great job of explaining why that is strategically important as well.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah, so two points. One is, thank you for talking about that. For those of you who don't know, Jonathan and I are good friends. That's why I can say, “Hey Jonathan, let's talk about [laughs] your background as a poor person.”Jonathan Walton: Yeah [laughs].Sy Hoekstra: We've talked about this a ton on the show before, Jonathan is very open about it in public. And that, I actually think, hearing you talk about the tension and how your hometown is versus your new adopted home, a lot of that is actually part of the answer. Just people being willing to be totally open about their own financial circumstances, and the differences they see between places, because that is something that we hush up and we talk about, we make it shameful to talk about your money. We make it shameful for everyone to talk about their money. You're not supposed to talk about it if you're rich, you're not supposed to talk about it if you're poor [laughs]. You're basically only supposed to talk about it if you're right where the Republicans think real Americans are [laughter]. You know what I mean?Jonathan Walton: Yeah.Sy Hoekstra: And yeah, just being willing to talk about it openly and in a not ashamed way actually goes a long ways to breaking some of the taboos that hold the silence on these issues. That's one thing. The other thing is, you said at the end just now, that William Barber would argue that it is strategic to basically address the needs of the poor voters who are not voting. But earlier you said it is a strategic exclusion, or like a strategic that they're evading talking about these issues.Jonathan Walton: Oh yeah. So in the Constitution, there is a strategic exclusion of poor, marginalized, non-White-land-owning-educated-well-healed people. There's the intentional strategic exclusion of those people for the maintenance of power and dominance, right?Sy Hoekstra: Yeah.Jonathan Walton: And I think there needs to be a strategic, intentional inclusion of those people, and the intentional redistribution, and I know people hate that word, redistribution [laughs] of resources, so that people can be included in our society in a meaningful way.Sy Hoekstra: Well, Jonathan's a communist. You heard it here first.Jonathan Walton: [laughs] It's not the first time I've been accused of loving the Marx.Sy Hoekstra: Loving the… [laughs]. But I think the other aspect of it is just, the reality is that the donors that support both parties, these are not priorities of theirs. In fact, a lot of times they're opposed to the priorities of theirs. They are the healthcare CEOs. They are the people who have to negotiate against the unions. They are the people who would have to pay up the higher minimum wages. So that's part of the thing that makes it challenging. But Barber's been able to do the work [laughs] in North Carolina and make a difference there. And it's not… and he was one of the people, organizing like his is what made North Carolina a swing state in the first place from a traditionally deep red state. So it's worth trying, guys [laughs].Jonathan Walton: It is.Sy Hoekstra: Take a look, Democrats.Jonathan Walton: Worth trying.Sy Hoekstra: It's worth trying [laughs]. It's not just worth trying for political victories either. It's also worth actually addressing poor people's needs [laughs], to be clear about what I'm saying.Jonathan Walton: Yeah. And I think I was convicted. Like, Shane Claiborne said this and others like Merton has said this, and Howard Thurman said this, and MLK said it, and Jesus said it. The center of the church should be marginalized people. That should actually be the thing. “The poor will always be with us,” is not an endorsement of poverty. That's not what that is. You know what I mean? [laughter] Some people were like, “Well, people are supposed to be poor, and I'm supposed to…”Sy Hoekstra: I know. I know. Or, the poor will always be with us, and that means that we should not try to end poverty, because Jesus said you can't end it.Jonathan Walton: Yeah, right. That, no. But the reality that that is a broken, tragic theology that aligns with White American folk religion and requires no sacrifice from people who are on the upper end of a dominant hierarchy. That's what that is. Yeah. I hope that even if the political parties of the United States do not pay attention to what to what Barber is saying, that the Church will. That would be great.Sy Hoekstra: Yeah. Amen to that. Alright. I think we're just gonna end it there. I already did the outro and everything, the credits and all that stuff in the Live episode, so I think Jonathan and I at this point are just going to say thank you all so much for listening. We will see you in January for the next episode. Goodbye.Jonathan Walton: Thank you. Bye [laughter].[The song “Citizens” by Jon Guerra fades in. Lyrics: “I need to know there is justice/ That it will roll in abundance/ And that you're building a city/ Where we arrive as immigrants/ And you call us citizens/ And you welcome us as children home.” The song fades out.]Sy Hoekstra: How what somebody else is saying is affecting other people around you, or the other person that that person has to interact with, meaning the person who youJonathan Walton: [burps].Sy Hoekstra: [laughs], remember, I can't mute you if you just burp into your microphone.Jonathan Walton: Yes, sir. My apologies. [laughter] Welcome to live everyone.Sy Hoekstra: Welcome to live Substack.Jonathan Walton: I drank a ton of water. They saw me just do that [laughter].

Mortgage holders have been hoping the banks will pass on the latest 50 basis point cut to the OCR - but many will have to wait. New Zealand's major banks have all cut their floating rates, but only ASB's fixed-term mortgage rate has moved down so far. Mortgage advisor Bruce Patton says the banks had largely predicted the OCR would drop by 50 basis points - and priced their earlier cuts accordingly. "We saw a few banks move a few days before, we saw the BNZ come down from 6.49 to 5.99 on the Monday before the OCR was even announced. A lot of the rates had already moved." LISTEN ABOVESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chapter 1:Summary of Getting To Yes"Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In," written by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, is a seminal book on negotiation strategy that advocates for principled negotiation. The book emphasizes the importance of finding mutual gains and collaborative solutions, rather than engaging in adversarial bargaining. Key Concepts:1. Principled Negotiation: The authors propose a method of negotiation that focuses on interests rather than positions. This means negotiators should seek to understand and address the underlying interests of both parties.2. Four Fundamental Principles:- Separate the People from the Problem: Negotiators should maintain a good relationship while addressing the substantive issues at hand.- Focus on Interests, Not Positions: Instead of taking fixed positions, negotiators should explore the interests behind those positions to find common ground.- Generate Options for Mutual Gain: Creativity in brainstorming potential solutions can lead to agreements that benefit both parties.- Use Objective Criteria: Decisions should be based on objective standards, such as laws, precedents, or expert opinions, rather than the will of either party.3. BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): The book stresses the importance of knowing your best alternative if negotiations fail. This awareness empowers negotiators and helps them avoid agreeing to unfavorable terms.4. Communication: Effective communication is critical in negotiations. The authors advocate active listening and clear expression of interests to foster understanding.5. Emotional Intelligence: Recognizing emotions—both your own and those of the other party—can lead to more effective negotiation outcomes. Conclusion:"Getting to Yes" is a guide for those looking to negotiate effectively and fairly, promoting a win-win approach that can lead to sustainable and amicable agreements. The principles outlined have been widely embraced in various fields, including business, mediation, and conflict resolution.Chapter 2:The Theme of Getting To Yes"Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In" is a seminal work in the field of negotiation, co-authored by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. The book outlines a principled approach to negotiation that emphasizes collaboration and mutual benefit rather than adversarial tactics. Here are some key plot points (ideas), character development (the roles of negotiators), and thematic concepts presented in the book: Key Plot Points (Ideas):1. Principled Negotiation: The authors advocate for a method of negotiation that focuses on interests rather than positions. This approach encourages parties to explore their underlying needs and desires, leading to more sustainable agreements.2. Four Pillars of Principled Negotiation:- People: Separate the people from the problem. This point emphasizes the importance of maintaining good relationships and not letting personal issues interfere with the negotiation process.- Interests: Focus on interests, not positions. Negotiators should identify what each party truly wants instead of just defending their initial stance.- Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding on an agreement. Collaboration can lead to creative solutions that satisfy both sides.- Criteria: Use objective criteria to evaluate options. This helps prevent negotiations from becoming power struggles and ensures that agreements are based on fair standards.3. BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): Understanding and developing one's BATNA is crucial. This concept emphasizes that knowing the alternatives to a negotiated agreement empowers negotiators to pursue better outcomes and avoid unfavorable deals.4.

No more avoiding talking about politics. Here's a framework you can use to talk to your friends about politics and still keep them as friends. No blowups, no ghosting, no shutting down. Life is too rich to avoid talking about some of the most important topics we deal with. I mentioned two books: 1. Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen2. Supercommunicators by Charles DuhiggAn easy way to send me a message? Click the link here.Have you enjoyed the podcast? If so, follow it, rate it, and share it with three people: Follow on Apple Podcasts Follow on Spotify Follow on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube If you want to share feedback, have a great idea, or have a question then email me: talktopeoplepodcast@gmail.comProduced by Capture Connection Studios: captureconnectionstudios.com

" If somebody is talking to us, they would like to be heard. They would like to have a sense of connection. They would like something to shift or to matter to us or something. And if they get the sense that that is possible and that we're available in a way that almost nobody is. That is way powerful."Karen & Paul emphasize the value of listening over speaking in effective communication.Links and items mentioned in this episode:How to Talk with Anyone about Anything by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly HuntThe Cooperative Culture Handbook by Yana Ludwig and Karen GimnigThanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone & Sheila HeenDifficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeenThe Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

Astro themes of October! (00:01:33) October 1st - 2nd: Correction.  The Sun Mercury cazimi and the Libra eclipse - Something is wrong. (00:02:42) October 3rd - 7th: Analysis.  Mercury square Mars creating challenge in decision making. (00:04:07) October 8th - 13th: Intuition Mercury in Libra trine Jupiter in Gemini - Manifesting time! (00:07:11) October 14th - 19th: The beginning of transformation Venus opposite Uranus - What or who is draining your wealth and energetic resources? (00:12:34) October 20th - 24th: Refinement Mercury trine Saturn rx - Get clear headed on things. (00:15:30) October 25th - 31st: Picking your battles Mars sextile Uranus - A boost of freedom Books!!! (00:18:19) Aries Book Picks: Purpose, destiny and evolution of networks. The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion by Elle Luna. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell. (00:19:05) Taurus Book Picks: Being unapologetically the self and evolution of your professional goals. Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses by Eric Ries (00:19:50) Gemini Book Picks: Making your own luck and intense spiritual growth The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles by Richard Wiseman The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer (00:20:20) Cancer Book Picks: Innovative visions and or Financial transformation Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All by Tom Kelley and David Kelley You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (00:21:07) Leo Book Picks: Rebirth in alliances and the evolution of connections with others. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown The Power of Connection: How Relationships Help Us Heal by Dr. David F. Drake (00:21:51) Virgo Book Picks: Deep focus on wellness and health regeneration. How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease by Dr. Michael Greger Lifeforce: How New Breakthroughs in Precision Medicine Can Transform the Quality of Your Life & Those You Love by Tony Robbins (00:22:53) Libra Book Picks: Taking a risk in making changes Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown The Art of Risk: The New Science of Courage, Caution, and Chance by Kayt Sukel (00:23:44) Scorpio Book Picks: Power struggles in work and/or family and rebirth of emotional foundations Family Ties That Bind: A Self-help Guide to Change Through Family of Origin Therapy by Dr. Ronald W. Richardson It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are by Mark Wolynn (00:24:20) Sagittarius Book Picks: Time is money and the evolution of managing your mindset Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness by Morgan Housel (00:25:05) Capricorn Book Picks: Control of wealth and developing motivated negotiations in partnerships  The Automatic Millionaire: A Powerful One-Step Plan to Live and Finish Rich by David Bachwhere Bach Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (00:25:58) Aquarius Book Picks: Rebirth of identity and unconventional self-reinvention The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (00:26:41) Pisces Book Picks: Letting go of the past and empowerment through surrender The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life* by Mark Manson

Welcome back to Season 12 of the Neuroscience Meets Social and Emotional Learning podcast! In episode number 340, host Andrea Samadi speaks with John Ford, an experienced workplace mediator and author of "Peace at Work: The HR Manager's Guide to Workplace Mediation." With a wealth of expertise in conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, and soft skills training, John shares his journey from practicing law to becoming a mediator. He discusses the importance of trust, effective communication, and addressing conflict head-on in both personal and professional settings. Discover practical tools like talking sticks and empathy cards, and learn how to apply neuroscience and emotional intelligence to navigate conflicts and improve workplace dynamics. Don't miss this insightful conversation that bridges the gap between science and everyday application! Watch our interview here https://youtu.be/NShwQio_QAk EPISODE #340 with John Ford on “Peace at Work: Connecting Emotional Intelligence to Conflict Resolution” we will cover: ✔ The importance of acquiring Emotional Intelligence Skills for conflict resolution in our workplaces of the future. ✔ The influencers who inspired John Ford's work (Daniel Goleman, John Gottman, Ken Cloke and many more. ✔ Tools and resources to support Conflict Resolution in our workplaces.      On today's episode #340, we welcome John Ford[i] BA. LLB (UCT) Founder, Author of Peace at Work: the HR Manager's Guide to Workplace Mediation, who is an experienced workplace mediator and works as a Conflict Resolution Coach and Workplace Mediator.  He's also a past president of the Association for Dispute Resolution of Northern California and served as managing editor for Mediate.com for over 10 years. Currently, he teaches negotiation and mediation through UC Law SF (formerly UC Hastings). When I saw the work John has been doing, providing soft skills training on communication, conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, assertion, negotiation, mediation, dealing with difficult behavior, customer service, nonverbal communication, de-escalation, stress management, diversity and inclusion, I knew I had to have him on the podcast. I saw the importance of teaching our next generation of students these important social and emotional learning skills over 25 years ago, working with 12 teenagers, who turned their results in school, sports and their personal lives around, in a matter of weeks. I had to learn more about John Ford's pathway that took him from practicing law, to working on workplace mediation, training others in these important emotional intelligence training skills. Let's meet John Ford, and see what we can learn from his vast experience with conflict resolution to see how he gains trust, with a calming effect in the most difficult and tense situations.  Welcome John, thank you for meeting with me today. Where have we reached you today? (I'm located in Arizona). Q1: John, can you share what inspired you to transition from practicing law to focusing on workplace mediation and soft-skills training? Q2: Can you also explain how your work was influenced by all of these researchers and influencers that our listeners would know well. Like Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence, neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, John Gottman's evidence-based research as well as Paul Ekman's work on facial expressions. Q3: What are some other books that you can point us to improve these important skills, books, like Difficult Conversations (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Hein), or Nonviolent Communication to help us to improve how to better communicate our feelings in our work and personal lives? Q4: I see you have created tools to help express our feelings without using blame (which we all know takes us down a pathway to more conflict). I don't remember how long along it was that I learned to take “you made me feel” out of my vocabulary, since no one can make me feel anything. It was a good lesson to keep in mind that only I control my feelings. Could you explain how The Empathy Set[ii] and The Talking Sticks work and the benefits they bring to users? Q5: In your opinion, what are the most common challenges organizations face when dealing with workplace conflicts? Q6: What advice would you give to someone who wants to start incorporating empathy and effective communication strategies into their professional or personal life? Final Thoughts: Can you share a success story that highlights the impact of your products or training programs on a team or organization? John, I want to thank you very much for meeting with me today. For people to learn more about you, what is the best place?   CONNECT with JOHN FORD   John Ford www.johnford.com www.empathyset.com www.empathysetapp.com john@johnford.com REFERENCES: [i] https://www.johnford.com/johnford     [ii] https://www.empathyset.com/  

Read the full transcript here. How easy is it to shift our baseline level of happiness? What sorts of things can most effectively shift that baseline? And are they highly specific to each individual or generalizable to most people? What are the differences between conceptual and phenomenal self-love? Why might it be useful to view shame as a kink? How does self-love or self-acceptance differ from indulging or even just tolerating the worst parts of yourself? What's the best way to think about "woo"? How genuine is the stereotypical guru demeanor of serenity, graciousness, and attentiveness? Is it possible for people with aphantasia to learn visualization? What's so interesting about perfume? What can people do to become better writers?Sasha Chapin is a writer currently living in California. Most of his recent writing is on his Substack. His most popular posts there are "What the humans like is responsiveness" and "50 Things I Know". He also wrote a book called All the Wrong Moves: A Memoir About Chess, Love, and Ruining Everything. Learn more about him at his website, sashachapin.com, or follow him on Twitter / X at @sashachapin.Further reading:Cate Hall's Clearer Thinking episodeLoch Kelly's Clearer Thinking episodeMind's Eye Development eCourse — the course that helped Sasha overcome aphantasiaLoving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron KatieExpanding Awareness, by Michael AshcroftDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen StaffSpencer Greenberg — Host / DirectorJosh Castle — ProducerRyan Kessler — Audio EngineerUri Bram — FactotumWeAmplify — TranscriptionistsMusicBroke for FreeJosh WoodwardLee RosevereQuiet Music for Tiny Robotswowamusiczapsplat.comAffiliatesClearer ThinkingGuidedTrackMind EasePositlyUpLift[Read more]

Blaine Donais joins me to talk about a different definition of “conflict”. Blaine suggests that conflict is a perceived injurious event. We break down the three parts of that phrase and what they mean in practice, particularly in the workplace. Blaine mentions some excellent resources that inform his work:“The Emergence and Transformation of Disputes: Naming, Blaming, Claiming”, article by Bill Felstiner, Rick Abel, and Austin Sarat"Social Conflict: Escalation, Stalemate, and Settlement", book by Dean Pruitt, Jeffrey Rubin,and Sung Hee Kim"Getting Disputes Resolved: Designing Systems to Cut the Costs of Conflict", book by William L. Ury, Jeanne M. Brett, and Stephen B. Goldberg"Designing Conflict Management Systems: A Guide to Creating Productive and Healthy Organizations", book by Cathy A. Costantino and Christina Sickles Merchant"Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most", book by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeenTo contact Blaine and learn more about his work, visit: Workplace Fairness International, https://workplacefairness.ca/ .Blaine's June 6, 2024, online roundtable breakfast presentation for the Greater New York Chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution is “The EvolvingWorld Of Workplace Conflict Management”. Register for free here:https://acrgny.org/event-5727648. Later, you can access his presentation (and many others) in the ACR-GNY roundtable archives, here: https://acrgny.org/RTB-Videos. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

I began my life's work in two communities on opposite sides of Boston, one predominantly Black, the other predominantly White, both made up of hard-working, low-income families. For twelve years, I worked alternately as a community organizer, a journalist, and a counselor alongside people struggling to navigate circumstances largely stacked against them. Where they went, I went—to their homes, theirschools, the streets, the courts, even prison. The experience was a master class in hard-earned resilience on the one hand and learned helplessness on the other.That experience eventually led me to return to school to figure out how to inspire and empower people to create systems that work for them, not against them. As an undergraduate at Boston University and as a doctoral student at Harvard, I had the privilege of learning from and working alongside some of the world's best thinkers on how to navigate conflict and effect change in all kinds of systems from families(David Kantor) to organizations (Chris Argyris, Donald Schön, Ed Schein, Peter Senge) to nations (Howard Zinn, Roger Fisher).For the past 40 years, I have led long-term change efforts in some of America's most iconic businesses and cutting-edge nonprofits. Along the way, I discovered that it is possible to turn intergroup conflict into a powerful force for constructive change. Out of this fundamental insight, I developed an approach to conflict and change called Leading Through Relationships (LTR)TM with frameworks and tools captured in my own and others publications and used around the world by my colleagues and students.In addition to dozens of articles, I am the author of Divide Or Conquer, The Elephant in the Room, and Remaking the Space Between Us, and the co-author of Action Science with Chris Argyris and Robert Putnam. As a partner at the Monitor Group, I chaired Monitor University, and as chief executive partner at New Profit, I led a culture change effort that readied the firm for future growth.I share my life with negotiation expert and Getting to Yes co-author Bruce Patton, my husband of 30 years, a rambunctious border collie rescue, and a junkyard mutt.

In this episode, William Green chats with Bryan Lawrence, a highly successful hedge fund manager who runs an investment firm called Oakcliff Capital. Bryan almost never gives interviews, so this is a rare opportunity to hear him speak in depth about the advantages of a concentrated value strategy, how he finds new investments, what 6 questions he asks when analyzing any stock, what he's learned from Buffett & Munger, & how to build a happy life. IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN: 00:00 - Intro 05:42 - What Bryan Lawrence learned from his hugely successful father. 16:30 - What Charlie Munger taught Bryan.  33:07 - How Shelby Cullom Davis turned $200,000 into $800 million. 39:14 - How Bryan has consciously built an investing edge. 43:25 - What he learned from meeting Warren Buffett. 47:15 - Why Bryan looks for three specific characteristics in any business. 59:18 - How to beat the market by making infrequent bets.  1:08:19 - Why he's obsessed with identifying where he's wrong. 1:10:17 - How he searches for new investment ideas. 1:14:32 - How he structures his day. 1:44:20 - How to think rationally about fossil fuels & climate change. 1:49:1 - How to build a happy life & great relationships. Disclaimer: Slight discrepancies in the timestamps may occur due to podcast platform differences. BOOKS AND RESOURCES Bryan Lawrence's investment firm, Oakcliff Capital. Check out Poor Charlie's Almanack. Dean Ornish & Anne Ornish's book Undo It. Robert Cialdini's book Influence. Alain de Boton's book The Consolations of Philosophy. Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, & Sheila Heen's book Difficult Conversations. John Rothchild's book The Davis Dynasty. Vaclav Smil's book How the World Really Works. David Mackay's book Sustainable Energy Without the Hot Air. Gillian Zoe Segal's book Getting There. William Green's podcast interview with Chris Davis | YouTube Video William Green's book, “Richer, Wiser, Happier” – read the reviews of this book. Follow William Green on X. Check out all the books mentioned and discussed in our podcast episodes here. Enjoy ad-free episodes when you subscribe to our Premium Feed. NEW TO THE SHOW? Follow our official social media accounts: X (Twitter) | LinkedIn | | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok. Browse through all our episodes (complete with transcripts) here. Try our tool for picking stock winners and managing our portfolios: TIP Finance Tool. Enjoy exclusive perks from our favorite Apps and Services. Stay up-to-date on financial markets and investing strategies through our daily newsletter, We Study Markets. Learn how to better start, manage, and grow your business with the best business podcasts.  SPONSORS Support our free podcast by supporting our sponsors: River Toyota Meyka AT&T Vacasa Fidelity Monarch Money Yahoo! Finance Long Angle Public USPS American Express Shopify HELP US OUT! Help us reach new listeners by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! It takes less than 30 seconds, and really helps our show grow, which allows us to bring on even better guests for you all! Thank you – we really appreciate it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://theinvestorspodcastnetwork.supportingcast.fm

AppSec specialist Megan Jacquot joins Chris and Robert for a compelling conversation about community, career paths, and productive red team exercises. Megan shares her unique cybersecurity origin story, tracing her interest in the field from childhood influences through her tenure as an educator and her formal return to academia to pivot into a tech-focused career. She delves into her roles in threat intelligence and application security, emphasizing her passion for technical work, penetration testing, and bug bounty programs. Additionally, Megan highlights the importance of mentorship, her involvement with the Women in Cybersecurity (WeCyS) community, and her dedication to fostering the next generation of cybersecurity professionals. The discussion covers assumed breach and red team engagements in cybersecurity, the significance of empathy in bug bounty interactions, tips for Call for Papers (CFP) submissions, and the value of community engagement within organizations like OWASP and DEF CON. Megan concludes with insights on the importance of difficult conversations and giving back to the cybersecurity community.LinksDifficult Conversations (How to Discuss What Matters Most) by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen -- https://www.stoneandheen.com/difficult-conversationsBeing Henry: The Fonz...and Beyond by Henry Winkler -- https://celadonbooks.com/book/being-henry-fonz-and-beyond-henry-winkler/FOLLOW OUR SOCIAL MEDIA: ➜Twitter: @AppSecPodcast➜LinkedIn: The Application Security Podcast➜YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ApplicationSecurityPodcast Thanks for Listening! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today on the #laidofflife podcast, we're shaking things up with our guest, seasoned sales executive and recent new hire, Molly Dotson. In March, Molly Dotson wrote a post celebrating her birthday and the successful end of a difficult six-month job search after experiencing a layoff. Her post became one of the top trending LinkedIn posts in the job search category. You can find her post here: Molly's Job Search Post People were inspired by her positive and authentic message that read and highlighted her job search journey: 'Job seekers, IYKYK, but for everyone else, I'll paint a picture.' The post was a great summary, but the true riches were found two clicks below the surface, and today, Molly is bringing us an innovative way to look at the job search using a familiar framework applied brilliantly within a different context. Discover brand new #landmines and #goldmines that WORK when it comes to networking, interviewing, and converting interviews to offers. Including a demo that Molly prepared for listeners, demonstrating one of her tools and one of her unique processes to accelerate and elevate the job search process. Watch Video  So lets stop the insanity and start thinking about how to do things differently for a better result. Contact Information: Molly Dotson: Molly Dotson | LinkedIn Kelsey Waldrop: Kelsey (Dues) Waldrop | LinkedIn  www.KelseyWaldrop.com   Additional Reading Recommendations: Influence, New and Expanded: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdini https://a.co/d/gRpvJDr How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie https://a.co/d/gRpvJDr Getting to Yes, Without Giving In, by  Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, Bruce Patton  https://a.co/d/9ntAiA2  

Nearly every kind of feedback — whether you agree with it or not — can be used to help you grow. Sheila Heen knows this well. As the founder of Triad Consulting Group, professor of practice at Harvard Law School, and the co-author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well and Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Sheila has spent nearly 30 years helping executive teams across the world work through conflict, repair working relationships, and make sound decisions together. In this episode of The Game Changing Attorney Podcast, Sheila and Michael Mogill discuss: The underlying structure and challenge of every difficult conversation The different types of feedback leaders can give — and what actually works How to raise tough issues and have productive conversations ---- Show Notes: 07:34 – The single most valuable skill you can have 14:57 – Defining difficult conversations 17:58 – How to navigate a tough talk 20:57 – Not everything is either/or 23:22 – Starting difficult conversations with a third story 29:35 – The 3 types of feedback 34:24 – Navigating sensitivity 38:44 – Front seat leader, back seat feedback 42:10 – What being a game changer means to Sheila Heen ---- Links & Resources Triad Consulting Group Harvard Law School Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Occidental College The Harvard Negotiation Project Bruce Patton Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck Getting It Done by Roger Fisher. John Richardson, and Alan Sharp Tesla The Game Changing Attorney by Michael Mogill ---- Listening to this episode but want to watch it? Check it out on Spotify.  Do you love this podcast and want to see more game changing content? Subscribe to our YouTube channel. ---- Past guests on The Game Changing Attorney Podcast include David Goggins, John Morgan, Alex Hormozi, Randi McGinn, Kim Scott, Chris Voss, Kevin O'Leary, Laura Wasser, John Maxwell, Mark Lanier, Robert Greene, and many more. ---- If you enjoyed this episode, you may also like: #162 Kim Scott – Radical Candor: How to Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity #166 John Maxwell #217 AMMA  – The Key to Clarity in Business

Hello and welcome to Season 13! This season is different because ½ of the 8 episodes are going to be focused on AI. However, there are a few episodes that aren't focused on AI including today's. While understanding AI is important, we also need the EQ that occurs in between skilling up and one of those huge skills is navigating difficult conversations. As Jennifer says, contact and context before content! This episode is the pep talk you perhaps didn't even know you needed. Jennifer empowers us to tackle our challenges head on, eliminate negative self talk,  and take care of ourselves throughout the process. We go through three real life examples and Jennifer talks through how she would handle them. These examples were submitted by real life listeners with their real life challenges. Jennifer Zaslow is an Executive Coach who believes that harnessing your full potential begins with finding your voice. She began her professional life in New York as an aspiring opera singer, an experience that led to a twenty year career as a leader and senior fundraiser in the non-profit sector.  Today, as Partner at Clear Path Executive Coaching, Jennifer's signature mix of intuition, directness and humor enables her to work successfully with clients ranging from CEO's to young leaders, helping individuals to reach their full potential, and organizations to achieve their strategic goals.   Jennifer has worked with leaders and teams from a wide variety of sectors, including higher ed (Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Cornell, University of Pennsylvania), arts and culture (The Metropolitan Museum of Art, The New York Public Library, The Metropolitan Opera, New York City Ballet, BAM, The High Line), sports/media/entertainment (The NFL, Sundance Institute, BuzzFeed, WNYC, KCRW) and tech/startups (Google, CHIEF, Angi, and TodayTix).   Prior to coaching, Jennifer held the chief development officer role at three New York City cultural institutions: Manhattan Theatre Club, New York City Opera, and The New York Public Library.  There, she successfully completed a $500 million capital campaign during the 2008 recession and grew the Library's endowment to over $1 billion.    Jennifer holds a B.A. cum laude from Wesleyan University and a CPCC coaching certification from CTI. She is certified in the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, is a Gallup Clifton Strengths Coach and is a recipient of Harvard Law School's PON certificate in Mediation and Conflict Resolution. She is also Director of the Floria Lasky Institute for Arts Leadership, sponsored by The Jerome Robbins Foundation.  She lives and practices in New York City. Resources: 1. Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury 2. Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen 3. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Emily Gregory 4. How to Work with Anyone (even difficult people) by Amy Gallo --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/devdebrief/support

Curator Nicole Lampl and artist Kenn Kotara discuss “Please Touch the Art,” on view at Reeves House Visual Arts Center through March 24th. Plus, Atlanta rock trio Omni celebrates their new album, “Souvenir” with a show at the Earl this Saturday, and Bruce Patton, Director of Curatorial Services at the Savoy Automobile Museum details their new exhibition, “Rolling Sculptures,” on view through March 31st.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As humans, we tend to avoid conversations that can cause us to feel anxious or frustrated. But today's authors make the case for leaning into these difficult conversations and give us advice for doing so with confidence and skill. Talking to the Internet podcast Bookworm #101: Never Split the Difference Mike's Obsidian University Cohort Difficult […]

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 20:30:00 GMT http://relay.fm/focused/194 http://relay.fm/focused/194 I'd Like to Take a Mulligan 194 David Sparks and Mike Schmitz David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. clean 3868 David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. This episode of Focused is sponsored by: Vitally: A new era for customer success productivity. Get a free pair of AirPods Pro when you book a qualified meeting. Nom Nom: Healthy, fresh food for dogs formulated by top Board Certified Veterinary Nutritionists. Prepped in our kitchens with free delivery to your door. Get 50% off. Links and Show Notes: Deep Focus: Extended ad-free episodes with bonus deep dive content. Focused #193: The Problem with Mise en Place, with Justin Khanna The Theme System MIke's Obsidian Quotebook video Mike's Obsidian University Starter Vault Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Feel-Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolf Reader, Come Home: The Reading Brain in a Digital World by Maryanne Wolf Traveler's Notebook Drop + bi

Tue, 02 Jan 2024 20:30:00 GMT http://relay.fm/focused/194 http://relay.fm/focused/194 David Sparks and Mike Schmitz David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. clean 3868 David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. This episode of Focused is sponsored by: Vitally: A new era for customer success productivity. Get a free pair of AirPods Pro when you book a qualified meeting. Nom Nom: Healthy, fresh food for dogs formulated by top Board Certified Veterinary Nutritionists. Prepped in our kitchens with free delivery to your door. Get 50% off. Links and Show Notes: Deep Focus: Extended ad-free episodes with bonus deep dive content. Focused #193: The Problem with Mise en Place, with Justin Khanna The Theme System MIke's Obsidian Quotebook video Mike's Obsidian University Starter Vault Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Feel-Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolf Reader, Come Home: The Reading Brain in a Digital World by Maryanne Wolf Traveler's Notebook D

We are CONSTANTLY having (or avoiding) difficult conversations. This book will tell you how to do it well. Special guest Marsha Shandur and I talk through highlights of the book and have some laughs discussing having (and also avoiding) Difficult Conversations. Marsha made this secret webpage with more resources based on this podcast episode! She is such a pro. Check it out: https://www.yesyesmarsha.com/booksapplied/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/booksapplied/support

Mallory Seisser is the owner of The Gilded Lily salon in Chicago's Logan Square neighborhood. She also teaches other salon owners nationwide how to better run their businesses as a professor at PIP University. In this past year, she's made the transition from behind the chair as a stylist to running her salon and teaching full-time. In this episode, we talk about the bold moves she's made in her career to step up in her leadership and grow her impact – and how those moves haven't always been easy, but they've always been worth it. We also discuss how Mallory is navigating making the shift from being a fixer and helper to empowering her people, as she takes on new roles in her career.Resources:Check out Mallory's salon at gildedlilychicago.comFollow Mallory on Instagram: @professor.malRead Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeenDisrupt HR Talk: “Stop Taking Work Personally”Connect with me:InstagramLinkedInYouTubeselfatwork.comProduced by NOVA Media

Listen, and learn about Active Listening for Conflict Resolution in this talk with our guest Peter Novak, CEO and Founder of Strictly Speaking Group: better communicators build better companies.In this Help To Grow Talk Episode, Peter Novak talks about how you can you use the technique of active listening for conflict resolution. LinksCompany: Strictly Speaking GroupLinkedIn: Peter NovakBook: Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High (Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Emily Gregory)Book: Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen)Book: Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know (Adam Grant)Support the Show: Hey There! Become a supporter, and help us create great Help To Grow Talk content for listeners everywhere who want to communicate better and change their way of living, working, interacting with others, and helping make the world a better place:Support the showContact Help To Grow Talk Follow on LinkedIn: Desiree Timmermans Follow on LinkedIn: Help To Grow Talk Email us: podcast@helptogrowtalk.com Thanks for Listening & Tune in Next Time!

Sheila Heen: Difficult Conversations Sheila Heen is the Thaddeus R. Beal Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School, a Deputy Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and a founder of Triad Consulting Group. She often works with executive teams to engage conflict productively, repair working relationships, and implement change in complex organizations. She has published articles in The New York Times and the Harvard Business Review and appeared on Oprah, CNBC's Power Lunch, and NPR. She is coauthor along with Douglas Stone of The New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback and also now, in it's third edition, co-author with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the iconic bestseller, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most*. When our intentions are good, it's hard to appreciate how we could have had such negative impact on someone else. It's equally challenging to navigate a tough conversation when someone else's words or actions have wronged us, even if that's not what they intended. In this conversation, Sheila and I discuss how to shift just a bit to help our difficult conversations go better. Key Points Intent does not equal impact. It's a mistake to assume that we know the other party's intentions. It's a mistake to assume that good intentions erase bad impact. Prevent the first mistake by attempting to separate intent from impact. Use these three questions: Actions: What did the other person actually say or do? Impact: What was the impact of this on me? Assumption: Based on this impact, what assumption am I making about what the other person intended? To present the second mistake, listen first for feelings before sharing intent. It's helpful also to reflect on your own intent, which may not always be as pure as initially recognized. Resources Mentioned Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most* by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Get Way Better at Accepting Feedback, with Sheila Heen (episode 143) How to Begin Difficult Conversations About Race, with Kwame Christian (episode 594) How to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People, Amy Gallo (episode 595) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.

Brought to you by Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega fish oil, Helix Sleep premium mattresses, and ShipStation shipping software. Sheila Heen has spent the last three decades working to understand how people can better navigate conflict, with a particular specialty in difficult conversations. She is a founder of Triad Consulting Group, a professor at Harvard Law School, and a co-author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (even when it's off base, unfair, poorly delivered, and, frankly, you're not in the mood), with Douglas Stone, and Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton (with a newly updated third edition that was released in August).Sheila and her colleagues at Triad work with leaders and organizations to build their capacity to have the conversations that matter most. Her clients have included Pixar, American Express, the NBA, the Singapore Supreme Court, the Obama White House, and theologians struggling with the nature of truth and God.She is schooled in negotiation daily by her three children. You can find my first conversation with Sheila at tim.blog/SheilaHeen.Please enjoy!This episode is brought to you by Nordic Naturals, the #1-selling fish-oil brand in the US! More than 80% of Americans don't get enough omega-3 fats from their diet. That is a problem because the body can't produce omega-3s, an important nutrient for cell structure and function. Nordic Naturals solves that problem with their doctor-recommended Ultimate Omega fish-oil formula for heart health, brain function, immune support, and more. Ultimate Omega is made exclusively from 100% wild-caught sardines and anchovies. It's incredibly pure and fresh with no fishy aftertaste. All Nordic Naturals' fish-oil products are offered in the triglyceride molecular form—the form naturally found in fish, and the form your body most easily absorbs. Go to Nordic.com and discover why Nordic Naturals is the #1-selling omega-3 brand in the U.S. Use promo code TIM for 20% off your order. *This episode is also brought to you by ShipStation. Do you sell stuff online? Then you know what a pain the shipping process is. ShipStation was created to make your life easier. Whether you're selling on eBay, Amazon, Shopify, or over 100 other popular selling channels, ShipStation lets you access all of your orders from one simple dashboard, and it works with all of the major shipping carriers, locally and globally, including FedEx, UPS, and USPS. Join the 130,000+ companies that have grown their ecommerce businesses with ShipStation. Tim Ferriss Show listeners get to try ShipStation free for 60 days! Just visit ShipStation.com/Tim!*This episode is also brought to you by Helix Sleep! Helix was selected as the best overall mattress of 2022 by GQ magazine, Wired, and Apartment Therapy. With Helix, there's a specific mattress to meet each and every body's unique comfort needs. Just take their quiz—only two minutes to complete—that matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you. They have a 10-year warranty, and you get to try it out for a hundred nights, risk-free. They'll even pick it up from you if you don't love it. And now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders plus two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/Tim.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim's email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"How to Discuss What Matters Most"

Chapter 1 What's Difficult ConversationsDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most is a book written by Douglas Stone, along with Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. It was first published in 1999 and is a guide to handling challenging conversations in both personal and professional situations. The book offers practical advice and strategies to navigate conversations about disagreements, criticism, and emotions. It emphasizes the importance of open communication, listening skills, and understanding various perspectives. Difficult Conversations has gained popularity for its insights on resolving conflicts and improving relationships through effective communication.Chapter 2 Why is Difficult Conversations Worth ReadDifficult Conversations by Douglas Stone is worth reading because it offers practical and valuable insights into how to navigate and address challenging conversations effectively. Here are some reasons why the book is worth reading:1. Provides a framework: The book presents a clear framework for understanding and managing difficult conversations. It breaks down the elements of a conversation, outlines common pitfalls, and provides strategies for successful communication. By using this framework, readers can approach difficult conversations with more confidence.2. Offers practical advice: Difficult Conversations offers practical advice and tools that readers can apply in their personal and professional lives. It provides step-by-step guidance on how to prepare for and engage in difficult conversations, including techniques for active listening, reframing perspectives, and finding common ground.3. Explores common challenges: The book dives into the common challenges people face when having difficult conversations, such as managing emotions, dealing with differing opinions, and addressing underlying issues. By exploring these challenges, readers gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play and learn how to navigate them effectively.4. Real-life examples: Difficult Conversations includes numerous real-life examples, making the concepts and strategies more relatable and applicable. The book presents various types of difficult conversations, ranging from conflicts in personal relationships to workplace disputes, providing readers with a range of scenarios to learn from.5. Emphasizes empathy and understanding: One of the key themes in the book is the importance of empathy and understanding in difficult conversations. It highlights the significance of acknowledging and validating emotions, while also recognizing differing perspectives. By embracing empathy, readers can foster more constructive and compassionate conversations.6. Improves relationships and outcomes: The strategies outlined in Difficult Conversations can help readers build stronger relationships and achieve better outcomes in challenging situations. The book focuses on moving beyond blame and finding mutual understanding, enabling readers to create more positive and productive conversations.Overall, Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone is worth reading because it equips readers with practical tools, insights, and strategies that can be applied in various contexts. It helps individuals navigate difficult conversations more effectively, leading to improved relationships and outcomes.Chapter 3 Difficult Conversations Summary"Dfficult Conversations" by Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen, and Bruce Patton is a book that explores the challenges individuals face when engaging in difficult conversations, both personally and professionally. The authors provide a framework and strategies to navigate these conversations effectively.The book focuses on the idea that difficult conversations are...

Show Notes: Reggie Williams, a Harvard graduate, had a great experience in his four-year period at Harvard College. After graduating, he went to Harvard Law School, which was a much more difficult and a lesser social experience. He was disillusioned with the law, finding that it was influenced by politics and was more subjective than objective. He decided law was not a profession he wanted to pursue. Moving into the Entertainment Industry While in law school, Reggie was inspired by the notion that he could pursue entertainment and started asking people around campus for advice. His goal was to eventually become a senior executive at a multimedia entertainment company or run his own company. He did not achieve his best grades in law school, but he did pass and he wrote a thesis about Tupac Shakur and the music industry needing to regulate itself with a voluntary rating system. Reggie took a negotiation class with Bruce Patton and Roger Friedman, which was the greatest course he took in any stage of academics.  He applied to 27 law firms in New York and LA, and only one firm accepted him. He had a great interview with a man who became his mentor. He was invited to New York City to work for Paul Hastings, an entertainment litigation practice, which represented stars like Madonna and CBS Records. However, when he got there, they didn't have a place for him in the entertainment litigation department. Reggie learned that sometimes life doesn't give you what you expect, but it's what you need. He found himself doing business law, which was more aligned with his interests in entertainment, learning contracts and IP. As a business law associate interested in entertainment, he was the first person to give deals in the entertainment industry, which helped him navigate the challenges and opportunities in the entertainment industry. Starting a Digital Lifestyle Entertainment Company He realized he didn't want to stay in corporate law for too long, and Reggie shares how he gained experience and made connections that helped him move forward in his career and land his dream job. He talks about having three dream jobs on the table but how negotiations fell apart and he lost all three. However, he finally landed one of them and found he was moving full speed ahead negotiating and closing deals with artists he loved. After two years, the partner came to him and asked him to write business plans for a couple of clients, which he did, and then decided that  the next one he wanted to write was for his own business. So, in 1999 he launched his first business and built a digital lifestyle entertainment experience, based around hip hop which was to become the next 25 years of his career.  Founding Ambrosia for Heads  After a rollercoaster ride of financial and relationship difficulties, Reggie was navigating the economic downturn in 2008, and his second wife was pregnant. In 2009, Williams realized that hip hop was growing and needed a platform that targeted people 25 and older. He created Ambrosia, a curated service for hip hop fans, and branded it Ambrosia for Heads (AFH), which would eventually become a streaming platform. He aimed to be a concierge through hip hop culture for people, starting as an editorial platform and building an audience around it. When Reggie founded AFH and was initially unsure of the role technology would play in the entertainment industry. However, he realized that technology is sovereign and that content is king. He had a dream of creating a hip hop lifestyle that encompassed TV, film, music, and other forms of entertainment. He set out to build a sustainable platform, similar to Netflix or Rolling Stone, but with a focus on adults. As social media exploded, Reggie used Facebook to build a community focused around hip hop culture. He aimed to make it like a Rolling Stone, with roughly 75% of the content being about music, 60% entertainment lifestyle, 15% politics, and 10% dark corners of the world.  Merging Technology and Entertainment  In 2017, Williams launched a subscription video service like Netflix on several different platforms, with over 300 hours of programming. Despite a successful launch, AFH was unable to raise capital, although having built an audience of 15 million a month. He listens to 20,000 hours of music last year and has a son and three sons who all have the same favorite artist, Kendrick Lamar. Reggie shares stories of meeting and working with artists, revealing that they are often very different from their appearance on stage or in public interviews. Most artists are incredibly smart, but this is not always welcomed in certain genres. They can be both introverted and magnetic on stage, but when they work with them, they start to get to know them as real humans. Influential Professors and Courses at Harvard Reggie mentioned being impressed with Derek Parfit, a philosopher who taught at Oxford but later came to Harvard. Parfit's book, Reasons in Persons, explores personal identity and the concept of the Star Trek transfer transformer analogy, which suggests that everything is created in the next place.  He took a course called Moral Reasoning in his freshman year taught by Harvey Mansfield. He also took feminism courses, which he found fascinating, and he also mentions film courses, which he had taken in his freshman year.  Timestamps: 03:12 Going to law school as an entertainment lawyer 09:07 A job offer from an entertainment law firm 15:51 The turning point in his life 18:31 The opportunity to work for Bbt 24:22 What has surprised Reggie about the industry 30:54 Taking a stand on social media 39:10 The unwritten rules of meeting celebrities 42:44 Reggie reflects on fatherhood Links:  Website: AmbrosiaforHeads.com CONTACT: Email: Reg@afhtv.com  

Marc Lesser shows how to navigate difficult emotions and conversations to build thriving relationships. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) Why we shouldn't be afraid of conflict. 2) The one question you need to ask when dealing with difficult people. 3) How to assess any relationship in 4 words. Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep887 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT MARC — Marc Lesser is a speaker, facilitator, workshop leader, and executive coach. He is the author of four books, including Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader: Lessons from Google and a Zen Monastery Kitchen, and CEO of ZBA Associates, an executive development and leadership consulting company. Lesser helped develop the world-renowned Search Inside Yourself (SIY) program within Google and was director of Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, the oldest Zen monastery in the Western world. He lives in Marin County, California, and leads Mill Valley Zen, a weekly meditation group. • Book: Finding Clarity: How Compassionate Accountability Builds Vibrant Relationships, Thriving Workplaces, and Meaningful Lives • Website: MarcLesser.net — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Happy Day, Friend! In this podcast episode I'm talking about perspective-taking and difficult conversations, and how mindfulness practices can create and empower greater perspective shifts. I share the “3 Conversations Framework” from the book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, and give ten (10) ways mindfulness practices help you implement this framework with more fidelity and greater success in all your conversations. I hope you gain tons of value from the episode. If so, please share with your people. I'd love to connect with you on social media

After more than 30 years in career services and recruiting, Jamie Belinne finds herself with a wealth of knowledge on how the different generations work, a book helping managers navigate those differences, and many awards and accolades acknowledging her expertise. We discuss how to mentor students and young professionals, why Gen Z is not a generation of narcissists, and why diversity isn't the norm but will be someday, thanks to the younger generations. Episode Highlights: According to Jamie, a student's experiences outside of the classroom are hugely important. Her time spent as a student worker and intern and her first few jobs were incredible learning opportunities for her. She encourages the students she mentors to strive to leave university with more than just a piece of paper asserting they've met the academic requirements of their degree. According to Jamie, a mentor is someone who has understanding and background knowledge beyond your own (in some area) to help provide insight and perspective on your goals and questions. She shares three keys to successful mentorship.In 2017, Jamie published "The Care and Feeding of Your Younger Employee: A Manager's Guide to Millennials and Gen Z." Her research revealed that perceived generational differences often stem from youthful mentality. She also discovered that young professionals anticipate diversity and an ideal work environment, but are often let down. Despite being labeled as narcissistic, younger generations raised in an online world exhibit high awareness of others and their influence.Episode Links:JamieWebsiteBookBooksCrucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Stephen R. Covey, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al SwitzlerDifficult Conversations by Douglas Stone,  Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, and Roger FisherUniversitiesThe University of HoustonLouisiana State UniversityLoyola UniversityTexas TechBird Watching LocationsQuintana BeachHigh Island South Padre IslandFollow The Digital Marketing Mentor: Website and Blog: thedmmentor.com Instagram: @thedmmentor Linkedin: @thedmmentor YouTube: @thedmmentor Interested in Digital Marketing Services, Careers, or Courses? Check out more from the TDMM Family: Optidge.com - Full Service Digital Marketing Agency specializing in SEO, PPC, Paid Social, and Lead Generation efforts for established B2C and B2B businesses and organizations. ODEOacademy.com - Digital Marketing online education and course platform. ODEO gives you solid digital marketing knowledge to launch/boost your career or understand your business's digital marketing strategy.

Please note that this episode was recorded during the first months of the war in Ukraine, and William and Thomas' commentary is relevant to that time. Since then, circumstances may have changed. Humiliation is reflected in most major historical events, especially in wars. Throughout the centuries, humans continue to be stuck in the same pattern of humiliation. And it has become even more significant in the present. With COVID-19 bringing a sense of interconnectedness and the whole world tuning in to the Russian-Ukrainian conflict, author and anthropologist William Ury dissects the root cause of this cycle. He explains that empathy is our most powerful tool in negotiation, as it enables us to understand our "opponents" and communicate with them effectively. *Please note that this episode was recorded during the first months of the war in Ukraine, and William and Thomas' commentary is relevant to that time. Since then, circumstances may have changed.* Key points include: ✔️ How doing our inner work helps us to act more effectively toward the betterment of the collective ✔️ Using strategic empathy to better understand an “opponent” and find a constructive way out of conflict ✔️ How both COVID-19 and the war in Ukraine galvanized the world and made us aware of our interconnectedness ✔️ Fear and crises tune our collective instrument, and we can use them as an opportunity for positive transformation ✔️ Being a “possible-ist” - someone who can see both negative and positive possibilities and potentials, and can act accordingly to move situations in a positive direction --------------- William Ury is one of the world's leading experts on negotiation and mediation. As the co-founder of the Program on Negotiation, he is a driving force behind many new negotiation theories and practices. Ury is the co-author with Roger Fisher and Bruce Patton of Getting to Yes, a 15-million-copy bestseller translated into more than 35 languages, and the author of several other books including the award-winning Getting to Yes with Yourself. Over the last four decades, Ury has served as a negotiation advisor and mediator in conflicts ranging from the Cold War to ethnic and civil wars in the Middle East, Chechnya, Yugoslavia, and most recently in Colombia, where he serves as a senior advisor to President Juan Manuel Santos. In addition to teaching negotiation and mediation to tens of thousands of executives, Ury is the founder of the Abraham Path Initiative, which seeks to bring people together across cultures by opening a long-distance walking route in the Middle East that retraces the footsteps of Abraham and his family. In recognition of his work, he has received the Cloke-Millen Peacemaker Award, the Whitney North Seymour Award from the American Arbitration Association, and the Distinguished Service Medal from the Russian Parliament. --------------- Thomas Hübl is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator whose lifelong work integrates the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since 2004, he has taught and facilitated programs with more than 100,000 people worldwide, including online courses which he began offering in 2008. The origin of his work and more than two decades of study and practice on healing collective trauma is detailed in his book Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds Connect with Thomas here: Website: https://thomashuebl.com/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/Thomas.Huebl.Sangha/ Instagram/Twitter: @thomashuebl YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thomashuebl Sign up for updates by visiting our website:

Humiliation is reflected in most major historical events, especially in wars. Throughout the centuries, humans continue to be stuck in the same pattern of humiliation. And it has become even more significant in the present. Author and negotiation expert William Ury joins Thomas for their second conversation in a three-part series. They discuss how historical traumas contribute to current conflicts, including the ongoing war in Ukraine. William emphasizes the need for compassion, empathy, and inclusion in our individual and collective approaches to bringing about peace and positive change in the world. Tune in to learn more

"The single biggest block to getting a yes in any kind of conflict is yourself,” says author and expert negotiator William Ury. In this episode, William Ury shares his expertise in demonstrating spaciousness and empathy in conflict-laden situations, mediation as an intrapersonal exercise, and dissecting trauma in an unsettled society. ▶️ Practicing Spaciousness and Empathy for Conflict Mediation with William Ury Key Points to Discover:  ✔️ Practice the palm pinching technique. Standing in the middle of conflict can be terrifying. Step back and find perspective within by pinching your palm. “It gives you momentary pain, but it'll keep you alert,” William Ury retells. ✔️Befriend your emotions. Trauma brings about emotions we perceive as negative – such as anger, resentment, jealousy, hatred, and fear. William Ury says, “Befriend these emotions. Welcome them. Don't judge them. Host them. Don't suppress them.” Every emotion contains a message. If we're open and paying attention, we can better understand it. ✔️ Conflicts have three sides. The third side is called the whole – the larger community to which the two parties belong. “It's not a conflict between individual A and individual B. It's a collective,” he explains. This unseen side holds a huge responsibility to mediate and gather the two parties to reach a resolution. ✔️ Empathy requires putting yourself in your own shoes. It's hard to put yourself in others' shoes when you have preconceived ideas about them. Be in a place of clarity and gather as much information as you can about the conflicts you witness. This is where real and deep empathy begins. ✔️ The absent parts of ourselves are filled with the past. When we aren't fully integrated with the painful experiences of others, it blocks us from developing genuine empathy, and we might instead find that we're filled with fear, physical tension, and numbness. Healing from intergenerational trauma requires us to feel the fears of our ancestors – merging them into our present flow. This allows us to cultivate greater empathy for the people in our lives. ✔️ Mediation means seeing a way forward. Finding the way forward in conflict calls for inner spaciousness. As a mediator, William Ury recommends taking a step back and viewing the situation from what he calls “going to the balcony” - a removed position from which we can be more present, empathetic, and objective. Take off the blinders of your own biases and see the larger picture. --------------- William Ury is one of the world's leading experts on negotiation and mediation. As the co-founder of the Program on Negotiation, he is a driving force behind many new negotiation theories and practices. Ury is the co-author with Roger Fisher and Bruce Patton of Getting to Yes, a 15-million-copy bestseller translated into more than 35 languages, and the author of several other books including the award-winning Getting to Yes with Yourself. Over the last four decades, Ury has served as a negotiation advisor and mediator in conflicts ranging from the Cold War to ethnic and civil wars in the Middle East, Chechnya, Yugoslavia, and most recently in Colombia, where he serves as a senior advisor to President Juan Manuel Santos. In addition to teaching negotiation and mediation to tens of thousands of executives, Ury is the founder of the Abraham Path Initiative, which seeks to bring people together across cultures by opening a long-distance walking route in the Middle East that retraces the footsteps of Abraham and his family. In recognition of his work, he has received the Cloke-Millen Peacemaker Award, the Whitney North Seymour Award from the American Arbitration Association, and the Distinguished Service Medal from the Russian Parliament. --------------- Sign up for updates by visiting our website pointofrelationpodcast.com. Thomas Hübl is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator whose lifelong work integrates the core insights of the great wisdom traditions with the discoveries of science. The focus of his work is collective trauma and global healing. Webpage: https://thomashuebl.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Thomas.Huebl.Sangha LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomashuebl/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomashuebl/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/thomashuebl Twitter: https://twitter.com/thomasHuebl "Healing Collective Trauma" is the book by Thomas, published in five languages: https://www.collectivetraumabook.com

On this episode I got to sit down with my friend Allison McManis and talk about what self-compassion is and why it's so important for thriving in relationships and life.Allison is a coach who works with habitual over-extenders. (Perfectionists, people-pleasers, and overachievers, I'm looking at you! If you fall into this category, today's episode is going to be extra helpful for you.)Self-compassion and radical self-acceptance, which are huge themes here on the podcast, are a big part of Allison's work, so I was thrilled to have this conversation with her!—If you appreciate the podcast and would like to support my work, please share this episode with a friend, share it on social, and/or drop us a review wherever you listen to podcasts. This is the best way to support the show and I appreciate each and every like, review and share. ❤️ Connect with me:Get on the waitlist for my Dating from a Place of Self-Love programBook an obligation-free 1:1 coaching call with meSubmit an anonymous question for the podcast hereCome say Hi!

A new year presents new opportunities to grow and prosper. Building a strong team is on the mind of so many right now as the auto industry pivots again.    feeling inspired talking with Bill Carmichael, former CEO of Summit Automotive Partners who led 14 years in this role. He started as a vehicle salesperson and rose through every rank to become CEO.  This casual chat will endorse leaders who are carefully growing their business, teams and self.    Bill shares many lessons learned that are so relevant in todays times.    “Stay curious. Stay humble. If you see a problem, fix it so it's sustained."   "Build a culture so strong that the people within will defend it. If you don't want to be part of the culture, they will reject you. That's a transfer of ownership, so we don't have to remind people anymore.  When you can get proper buy in at this level, our jobs are easier, customers are happier and we can create the magical high performance team.”   - Bill Carmichael    Bill's Favorite Books: Service-Profit Chain, James Heskett, W. Earl Sasser, Jr, Leonard A. Schlesinger 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, Stephen Covey - “With People, slow is fast and fast is slow” 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John C. Maxwell Changing Minds, Howard Gardner Difficult Conversation, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Shelia Heen The 5 Temptations of a CEO, Patrick Lencioni 4 Disciplines of Execution, Chris McChesney, Sean Covey, and Jim Harding Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman Punished By Rewards, Alfie Kohn Drive, Danial Pink Multipliers, Liz Weisman The Way of Integrity, Martha Black As the Man Thinkith, James Allen The Ego is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday From Strength to Strength, Arthur C. Brooks The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie   Dealer Talk with Jen Suzuki Podcast |Jennifer@edealersolution.com | 800-625-1590 | edealersolutions.com   Check out our sponsor!  LotLinx.com is a VIN Management Platform that enables precision automotive retailing via /AI/ technologies that improves dealership profitability.

Getting to Yes Full Book ReviewMore Content On Bookey Best App For Book Summary. Negotiation is closely related to our lives. Buyers and sellers bargain over the price of a product. Employees strive for a promotion or a pay raise from the boss. Children debate their parents over what time to go to bed at night. These are all familiar negotiation scenes in our daily lives. Everyone is a negotiator, and those who are better at negotiation meet their needs more efficiently. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In presents the research results of the Harvard Negotiation Project. This book will teach you how to negotiate more efficiently and help you achieve win-win outcomes! Overview | Chapter 1Hi, welcome to Bookey. Today, we will unlock the book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Negotiation is closely related to our lives. Every one of us is a negotiator in the sense that we all face various negotiation scenarios every day. Thus, negotiation is an essential skill that we should master. However, negotiation is not simple, and it is often hard to achieve good results. You may have encountered awkward situations like the following: Neither you nor the seller is willing to budge an inch while bargaining. Your boss rejects your request for a promotion or a pay raise. You argue with your colleague over differing proposals. So, is there any negotiation method that defends our interests while also satisfying the other party? Of course, there is! The book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In proposes the “principled negotiation,” a general strategy that applies to various negotiation situations. This so-called "principle" refers to the inner appeal of interests. The key is to treat your negotiating partner as a collaborator and focus on basic interests. Then, search for solutions that satisfy both parties' common interests based on objective standards to achieve win-win outcomes. This book was published in 2009 and has been a bestseller ever since. It has also been recommended by John Kenneth Galbraith, the advisor to three U.S. presidents, Cyrus Roberts Vance, a former U.S. Secretary of State, and Ayn Rand, a famous writer from the U.S. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In was written by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. They are three senior experts from the Harvard Negotiation Project. They are not only researchers but also practitioners in the field of negotiation. They provide professional negotiation consulting services for many individuals, companies, and even government agencies.

Crystal Herron, PhD, ELS founder of Redwood Ink, is an editor, educator and coach. In this episode, she shares her insights into building relationships through supportive, mindful collaboration. Crystal explains how cultivating a gentle and informative manner for feedback promotes longevity with clients. This mindful approach is evident in her informative website resources and newsletter, which are well worth checking out. Crystal advises cultivating a communication skills mindset, with self-awareness and self-regulation at the center through the following:Slowing down when gathering informationAllowing for curiosityMeditation Journaling, using the 5-minute morning and evening feedback practice (here's how Tim Ferriss uses this practice)Crystal also counsels us to consider the emotions behind our writing and content creation. Understanding how our audience feels, not just their interests or knowledge base, allows us to form stronger connections with readers (and learners). Achieving this connection requires going beyond the text and cultivating direct interactions with readers and learners.  Resources for Developing Communication SkillsEmotional Intelligence by Daniel GolemanNonviolent Communication: A language of life by Marshall RosenbergThe 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim DethmerMindset by Carol DweckDifficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen Atlas of the Heart by Brené BrownConnect with CrystalLinkedInWebsiteNewsletterFreebies Crystal is offering a 5% discount for her  Scientific Writing Masterclass . Next session starts January 30. Registration closes January 23. The code does not expire.Get the CodeEditing Software Text Expander Shortcuts: save time with snippetsAutotext is built into Microsoft WordSponsorsCMEpaloozaWriteCME ProProduction TeamHost: Offers➡️ Do you have a podcast? We use Riverside.fm to record Write Medicine. Click here for a discount. ➡️ Join the Write Medicine community➡️ Join WriteCME Pro ☕ Buy me a Coffee⭐ Review the podcast

Bruce Patton tells us about Cartersville's Savoy Automobile Museum. Plus, music contributor H Johnson shares the story behind trombonist, Melba Liston.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Throughout the month of December, I'm bringing you the 12 pods of Christmas - released every Tuesday, Thursday & Sunday to guide you through your best holiday season yet. We're going to maximise the joy, minimise the stress and set you up for 2023. And boy are we starting off with a bang - today, how to negotiate your dream Christmas. Sick of spending every year trudging round to your in-laws or abiding by holiday traditions that you really don't enjoy? In this episode, we're going to learn the art of negotiation, how it can help you to get what you want & improve pretty much every relationship in your life. Rachel Moore Best is the founder of the Human Factor - an organisation dedicated to making negotiation and advocacy accessible to everyone. CONNECT WITH USConnect with That's Helpful & Ed Stott on Instagram Connect with Rachel on Instagram & LinkedIn BOOKSGetting to Yes, Roger Fisher Difficult Conversations, Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, and Sheila Heen Got an episode suggestion or feedback for me? Email me - ed@edwinastott.com 

This episode is a mini workshop in how to handle difficult conversations. Whether it's a colleague, boss or personal relationship - you'll learn the framework you can use today to not only master a difficult conversation but repair a relationship that has gone south.Get the worksheet to apply the framework in the links below.What you'll learn:My 4 steps that are proven to help you master any difficult conversationHow to discuss any topic and maintain a positive relationshipHow to repair an existing difficult relationshipMentioned in this episode:Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeeinEmotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean GreavesLeadership and Self Deception by Arbinger InstituteDownload the Master Difficult Conversations worksheetJoin Melissa's Email Insiders for weekly tips and inspiration to advance your careerApply for 1-1 coaching with MelissaConnect with Melissa:LinkedInInstagram

In this episode of Partnering Leadership, Mahan Tavakoli speaks with Jim Detert, John L. Colley Professor of Business Administration at the University of Virginia's Darden School of Business and author of Choosing Courage: The Everyday Guide to Being Brave at Work. In this conversation, Jim Detert shares how we can become more courageous by developing our courage capabilities. Jim Detert also shares how leaders can nurture a psychologically safe organizational culture, enabling and encouraging more courageous interactions and decisions at work.  Some highlights:-Why attributing courage just to historical figures can be counterproductive -The importance of being more courageous and how to develop our courage muscle-Jim Detert on the benefits of courage at work-How leaders can create a psychologically safe environment that encourages team members to speak up and contribute their best at workMentioned:-Amy Edmondson, Professor of Leadership at Harvard Business School and author of Fearless Organization and Creating Psychological Safety-Vanessa Bohns (Listen to Partnering Leadership conversation with Vanessa Bohns)-Gary Bolles (Listen to Partnering Leadership conversation with Gary Bolles)-Difficult Conversations by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, and Sheila Heen-Radical Candor by Kim Scott-Giving Voice to Values by Mary C. Gentile -The Silent Language Of Leaders by Carol GoldmanConnect with Jim Detert:Jim Detert WebsiteChoosing Courage on AmazonJim Detert on FacebookJim Detert on LinkedInConnect with Mahan Tavakoli:https://mahantavakoli.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/mahan/ More information and resources available at the Partnering Leadership Podcast website: https://www.partneringleadership.com/

Pre-Order the Leading Equity Book Today! About Rachel Moore Rachel Moore is the founder and lead educator for The Human Factor. Dedicated to making negotiation and advocacy accessible to all, Rachel is passionate about translating skills, frameworks, and proven theory into actionable guidance. Rachel has designed negotiation curricula for the MIT School of Engineering and Sloan School of Business, and guest lectured to audiences that run the spectrum—from creative university programs, local professional organizations, youth conferences, and corporate audiences. Rachel is currently a lecturer at the MIT Sloan School of Business. Along with her work as an educator, Rachel is an experienced strategist focused on innovation in complex environments. In this work, Rachel partners with clients from the executional level to the c-suite as they negotiate conflicting goals, organizational complexity, and human dynamics to close deals and form effective, sustainable teams. Her notable clients include Disney, NASA, and Boston Children's Hospital. Show Highlights Why being good at negotiating is so important Negotiation scenarios We statements Compromising during negotiations Negotiation resources Connect with Rachel Instagram Website Email Great books: Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen Negotiating the Nonnegotiable by Daniel Shapiro The Honest Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely Additional Resources Learn more about the Advocacy Room Free Course on Implicit Bias 20 Diversity Equity and Inclusion Activities Annihilating Racial Injustice in School Course FREE AUDIO COURSE: Race, Advocacy, and Social Justice Studies

If you want to learn anything at all about the impact of increasing the quality of your negotiation skills, THIS is the episode for you. Expert, life-long negotiator Mike Lander shares his wisdom with host Jim Schubert on this episode of Agents Growth Academy, where they discuss the power of the inquisitive mind on your memory recall, how likening yourself to an annoying toddler can increase your sales rate, and how their learning model will naturally secure a better negotiation every time. 3 Key TakeawaysThere are three ways that you can build professional trust with people and it isn't sitting for coffee and quizzing their favorite color.The inquisitive mind holds more power to recall and implement knowledge than it is given credit for. Use Mike's model and see it for yourself. Preparation, preparation, preparation! This is 80% of a successful negotiation. ResourcesPat Flynn's PodcastGetting to Yes by William Ury, Bruce Patton, and Roger FisherVisit higgle.piscari.com for the Higgle Negotiation WorkbookInfluence by Robert B. CialdiniThe Trusted Advisor by David H. Maister, Charles H. Green, and Robert M. GalfordMike's website: piscari.comMike's LinkedinAbout Mike Landerhas negotiated hundreds of deals over the last 24 years, worth well in excess of £450m. He has been a procurement director for a private equity-backed portfolio company, which is now worth $1bn. Mike is a managing partner at one of the UK's largest Procurement Consultancies, selling businesses for large, 7-figure sums. He raised £6m of debt financing to fund the acquisition and growth of a professional services and education business and has provided negotiation support to clients that has helped them deliver gross margins of over 65%. Mike negotiated the restructuring of £4m of creditors as part of a corporate turnaround, resulting in all creditors being paid out in full. More recently, he sold a high-growth SEN school's business for a large 7-figure sum and delivered procurement savings of over £5m.

Are you ready to challenge yourself to have more? More success, money, freedom, autonomy, support, and joy? If this is you, then you're in the right place, and I invite you to listen closely to this week's episode.   I'm joined this week by bestselling author of Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything, Alex Carter. We're having a hard-hitting, in-depth conversation around raising the stakes, playing a bigger game, and asking for what you're really worth.   Keep reading   Alex is a Clinical Professor of Law and Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School. She has spent the last eleven years helping Fortune 500 companies, The UN, and thousands of other people negotiate better, build relationships and reach their goals, and she's here to share her secrets and valuable observations with us.   Tune in this week to discover how to start playing bigger, taking up space, and feel confident doing it. Alex has brought a woman's voice to the field of negotiation, and she's here to share how she built her super-successful organic business, her insights on team-building, how she challenges herself and her business, and the unwitting ways in which we play small without realizing.   Today on the Power + Presence + Position Podcast:   How Alex became a top-ranked law professor and mediation expert at Columbia. Why Alex decided the time was right to start publishing books. How difficult it was at one stage for Alex to ask for what she needed in her profession. What the process of taking six months out to write her book looked like for Alex and why it took drastic circumstances to make it a reality. Why it's not always about asking for more, sometimes it's about asking for what you're already owed. The importance of giving yourself time to make big decisions from a place of clarity. What asking for more looks like as you're managing increased success and responsibility. How Alex has leveraged her network using the lessons she teaches in her book. Alex's advice for any women listening who feel called to start swinging bigger.   Resources Mentioned:   To receive weekly written gold in your inbox, make sure you sign up for my email newsletter. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Learn how to nail your niche, clarify your message, and scale your business in the Power + Presence + Position Business Accelerator! Learn how to build a seven-figure foundation in The Incubator. Alex Carter: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter | Book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen EP401: Negotiation Secrets – How to Ask for More with Alexandra Carter Kris Plachy Brandi Bernoskie Alchemy + Aim Brené Brown Byron Katie Luvvie Ajayi   Love the show? Let us know!   Are you a fan of the Power + Presence + Position? If the tips and interviews we share in each episode have helped you gain the confidence and inspiration to become a better, more powerful leader, head on over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show and leave your honest review to let us know! What are you waiting for? Head on over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe, and leave a review to enter your name into this month's drawing!