Overnight Underground News Blip

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  The Plague, it ain’t done with us yet. Texas slows its reopening. Crime skyrockets in New York City. The Dixie Chicks lose half their name and NASA is full of sh*t.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   The plague ain’t dead yet Coronavirus is back with a vengeance. According to Axios, nationwide there is a thirty percent rise in infections compared to the beginning of the month. Arizona looks really screwed, with nearly an eighty percent uptick in cases. Seventy five percent in Michigan, seventy percent in Texas and of course, there’s always Florida, making the infection top four with sixty six percent. Heck, even California, the state where every day brings one kind of disaster or another, is seeing an uptick of forty seven percent. Texas slows its reopening The Texas Governor, Greg Abbott is putting the kibosh on his reopening plans in the Lone Stare State and ordered hospitals to postpone elective surgeries in four counties, as coronavirus cases and hospitalizations from the plague are on the uptick. CNBC notes Abbott walked back any future reopening plans due to the spread of covid in the state. Well it is Texas, they could always try shooting the virus.  NYC gets lot’s o’ crime Things aren’t much better in New York City but the problems there aren’t due to the plague, per se. Crime is spreading faster than the clap in the city that never sleeps. Well, they must do some kind of sleeping, how else do you explain all that clap? NYPD Commissioner Dermot Shea has gone on record saying that the criminal justice system has essentially imploded in New York. NBC New York reports that the homicide rate in the city has hit a five-year high and the number of people shot has jumped over forty percent. New York has been experiencing kind of  a perfect storm of stupidity with judicial system shutdowns, breakdown of the social nets and bail reform laws that many say just release criminals back to the streets straight after an arrest. Sounds like a perfect storm for booting deBlaiso to me.  Cancel the National Anthem Let’s see, what’s on tap with the social justice shit show today. According to the Wall Street Journal a group of angry identity grievance politics ding-dongs in, where else, New York  City,  are refusing to sing the Star Spangled Banner at a graduation ceremony and of course, they want it replaced with something else. Something they approve of, of course. I’ll bet NWA’s  Fuck the Police is in their top three.  Personally, I think it should be changed to the Team America theme song.  Dixie Chicks cancel half their name Oh, have you heard this one yet? The Dixie Chicks are changing their name to just The Chicks. You know, they better check with their intersectionalist overlords to see if it’s OK to be called “The Chicks.” As ‘chicks’ is a common vernacular for women, and as we all know by now, there is no such thing as gender or assigned sex. Besides, isn’t ‘Chicks’ sexist or something? They would have been better off changing their name to the “Dicks.” I do wonder when they will rename Dixie Cups to just plain ol’ Cups?    According to the San Francisco Gate, The Chicks' website now says that they, quote. “want to meet this moment.” Oh, it’s a magic moment. Just in case you were wondering, the term Dixie refers to Southern U.S. states. Just to show you how incredibly stupid all this is, the Dixie Chicks play music that has it’s roots in southern culture. Country music. In fact, all historical music that’s of any worth here in the US, comes from the south. Country, blues, jazz, bluegrass, sea shanties. Outside of that, Chicks, you’ll soon learn that you can never virtue signal enough. Sooner or later, you’ll end up on the wrong end of the social justice culture wars.  Tina Fey pisses off Asians Just the other day The Overnight Underground reported on Tina Fey wanting all the 30 Rock episodes that contain black face erased. Now the former SNL star is in hot water from the grievance race based intersectionalist lunatics over her portrayal of the Asian community. Yep, the self-righteous Twitter mob is after Fey for her Asian bits from Mean Girls and 30 Rock. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, sooner or later they're coming after you too. Because nothing says schadenfreude quite like racial political virtue signaling.  NASA needs a new crapper Hey, NASA needs a new space toilet stat! Futurism dot com is reporting that everyone’s favorite space agency is on the lookout for a space toilet that handles half a kilogram of diarrhea. As you can imagine, taking a constitutional in zero gravity is no picnic. And if you’ve got a case of the crabapple two step, wow, I can’t even imagine. NASA is launching their Lunar Loo Challenge so that when the astronauts head back to the moon, they can park their moon on a better head. NASA is currently looking for designs and are even offering a twenty thousand dollar reward for the best designed zero gravity porcelain god. Twenty grand huh, that’s a lot of Taco Bell. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  Biden takes the lead. New York tells Florida to stay the hell away. The Seattle Mayor rains on ANTIFA’s parade. The statue mobs are getting a little handsy and it’s time to stop exercising.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Biden takes the lead in new poll Don’t look now but Biden has a fourteen point lead in the latest polling. MSN News reports that doddering old political fool number two, Joseph Biden, is making inroads with women and nonwhite voters. All of this is according to a new poll of registered voters by The New York Times and Siena College. Biden leads the poll with fifty percent, doddering old fool number one, Bullwinkle J Trump takes thirty six percent and fourteen percent will vote for “other.” I don’t know about you, but other has my vote too.  NY tells Fla to stay away Three states in the North East are mandating quarantine for Florida visitors. New York, New Jersey and Connecticut have all set a fourteen day quarantine for visitors from the sunshine and pandemic state. Now if Florida could only figure out a way to time travel backwards and keep those obnoxious New Yorkers from migrating to Florida in the first place, it would be a pretty damn good place to live.  NBC News is reporting Florida joins Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Washington, Utah and Texas as states with infection rates high enough to warrant the quarantine, so says New York Governor, King and strongman dictator Andrew Cuomo. Where to pee? So maybe some states opened up too early and now they’re paying a high price. We’re looking at you Florida and Texas. But with most states only partially reopened, there is still one major pressing issue yet to be addressed. Where the hell do you take a leak? Vice News, that bastard, ah bastion of journalistic integrity points out the obvious, with public and business bathrooms either unavailable or unsafe, the good people of many US cities are whipping it out in public or peeing in their pants. According to one completely un-scientific poll, around fifty eight percent are holding it till they get home and over twenty one percent are just letting it rip in the great wide open. All the rest? Depends.  Seattle terminates autonomous  It seems that even the pinko, pansy, bed wetting Mayor of Seattle has finally had enough of the so-called “occupied” protest zone in the downtown area of that former great city. Mayor Jenny Durkan has called for the dismantling of the “Capitol Hill Occupied Protest Zone,” the autonomous six block area of the city. It was just a few days ago when the Mayor likened the protest zone to a new quote: “Summer of Love.” But all that was before the last forty eight hours  saw multiple instances of violence sprouting in the new “Summer of Love” zone with at least two shootings, which left multiple injuries and one dead. The Mayor is calling for the Police to retake the confederate section of the city and re-occupy the abandoned police station in the zone. What will those peaceful protesters do? Here’s what one told ABC 10 news in Seattle after hearing the news. What a shit show.  The mob in Wisconsin is a little out of hand The angry statue destroying mobs are starting to get a little sporty. CBS News reports that in Madison, Wisconsin, peaceful protesters there reportedly tore down two statues and threw a beat down on openly gay state Senator Tim Carpenter. To make matters worse, the peaceful protesters who attacked the Senator, also trashed a statue of anti-slavery activist Hans Christian Heg. Heg’s statue was decapitated and thrown into a lake by the protesters. The idiot’s in the mob either didn’t know or care that Heg was an abolitionist who fought on the side of the Union.  Still it’s also true he was a notorious violent carnivore who exclusively used binary pronouns. So yea, he totally deserved it.  DC send in Guard All this begs the question, how do you keep angry mobs from tearing down statues? In DC thef are sending in the National Guard. The Hill reports that unarmed members of The Guard are being deployed to the nation’s Capital to lend a hand to Park Police to secure DC’s national monuments. Guard members are expected to stay in The Capitol through the Fourth of July and may number as high as four hundred. Lets just ponder all this for a minute, we’re in the midst of a global pandemic, the President is duller than a bag of Kardashians and millions are out of work. And what are the useful idiots doing? Tearing down monuments. Honestly. Stop exercising now You need to stop exercising and you need to stop it right now. A new study out of Japan is noting that daily strenuous activity, such as exercise, might actually shorten your lifespan. According to Study Finds dot org, researchers at the Tokyo Institute of Technology found that Kabuki actors, with very active lifestyles, had shorter lifespans than the lazy Japanese who just sat around watching tentacle porn all day. The researchers believe that the aggressive endurance training necessary for the Kabuki performances neutralizes the usual benefits of exercise. So go ahead, put a little extra mayo on the pizza and pass the pork fat sushi.

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  The EU may ban Americans. Fauchi testifies before Congress. Mel Gibson and Jimmy Kimmel, meet cancel culture. Greta on black lives matter and your cat may be a cock blocker These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   The EU wants you to stay home.  If you were thinking about traveling to Europe, you better do it quick. News today that EU countries are considering a ban of American’s allegedly due to failure of Merican’ authorities to control the coronavirus. DNYUZ reports that this would lump American’s in with Russians and Brazilians as banned travelers to the European Union. EU officials are currently negotiating over their ban list. Oh heck, with the bureaucracy in the EU, it will probably be next year before they figure it all out. Still, one thing is for sure, they really do hate America, so maybe they can agree on that.  Fauchi lectures other old white men  Doctor Fauchi is back, and he’s not spreading good news. Fauchi told Congress basically  that the US is a really big place  and that while some parts of the US are doing better battling the pandemic, other areas are pretty much screwed. Lot’s of FUD from the little infectious Italian man on Capitol Hill.  Mel Gibson canceled Today’s celebrity entering the revolving and revolting door of the cancel culture is, wait for it, Mel Gibson. Variety reports that former Beverly Hills shoplifter and all around creepy Hollywood ****  Winona Ryder has accused Mel Gibson of making anti-semetic and homophobic remarks. According to Winona, Gibson allegedly said at a party regarding folks of the Jewish persuasion, ‘You’re not an oven dodger, are you?’ I’ll bet that went over like a led balloon. Of course Gibson denies the whole thing. But what does it matter, in the court of public opinion lorded over by the new orthodoxy and religious dogma of cancel culture, we are all guilty until proven innocent. And by then, it’s too late and you’re already screwed.  In completely unrelated news, Mel Gibson has been replaced in his voice over role in the next installment of the animated feature Chicken Run. How will he cope?! Jimmy Kimmel canceled But wait, there’s more. Jimmy Kimmel is also on the cancel culture chopping block today. According to HNHH News, Kimmel allegedly said the word which can not be uttered and also wore blackface at one point in his existence. There are also allegations of some kind of silly  inappropriate behaviour with an underage Megan Fox.  Black face Oh Fey Let’s see, what else. Tina Fey is doing her best celebrity virtue signaling and requesting that episodes of 30 Rock featuring blackface be erased. My god, isn’t she just a glorious example of Hollywood exceptionalism and sainthood to model our meaningless lives after? Fey said in Variety magazine: "I apologize for pain they have caused. Going forward, no comedy-loving kid needs to stumble on these tropes and be stung by their ugliness." Didn’t someone once say, comedy is not pretty? Tina, just go stick your head in a bucket of creosote and inhale deeply already.  Thus Spake Greta Today’s sound byte of the day, comes from the high priest and grand social justice supreme  commissioner of the kindly inquisition, Greta Thornberg, smacking down her two cents on the black lives matter movement. Our lord and saviour, seventeen year old saint Greta Thornberg on the BBC. If you really think about it objectively, people look up and listen to her as if she has the wisdom of Nietzsche or the Dali Lama. When in truth, she hasn’t even finished high school yet, and I should listen to her words of wisdom? But you all go right ahead and enjoy your shared psychotic delusional disorder.  Apple Watch is watching you masturbate Maybe you’ve heard that one of the new features of the Apple Watch is that it can now let you know when to wash your hands.  So it begs the question, is the Apple Watch just like ceiling cat, and paying attention to when you masturbate? If so, one has to wonder what the fruity computer company is doing with all of that jerky data. Yea, I know, we do hear there is a fap for that.  Nothing quite says I love you, more than getting an Apple Watch and a Shake Weight for your birthday. Women hate your pussy, cat Men, if you have a cat as a pet, the research shows that you’re less likely to get any action. A new study from Colorado State University notes women are less likely to even consider dating some looser who owns a cat. So for god’s sake, don’t put pictures of you and your cat online if you want a right swipe. Men who have pictures online with their pussy are viewed as less masculine; more neurotic and less dateable. CBSN Denver reports that the study points out that, “Women prefer men with ‘good genes’ and that clearly, the presence of a cat diminishes that perception.” Besides, men with cat’s probably sport a man bun. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  What if you had a rally and no one cared? NASCAR gets the flag. Great, now there after my pancake syrup. Chicago sets a new record and pennies are the new toilet paper.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   President Trump had his first rally following months of quarantine from the pandemic and when all was said and done, the Tulsa venue was only about a third full. I guess The President will have to walk back that boast about all his events never having empty seats. For those with Trump derangement syndrome, it was schadenfreude extraordinaire watching the great orange one have a big failure right out of the campaign kick-off box. For those brainwashed by Trump, who cares, their eyes are still spinning for their great white dope. If you’re keeping track of such things, Trump has a thirty eight percent approval rate. Speaking of being out of action. You may have noticed last week the Overnight Underground was out to pasture. Yea, I was down with some sort of mystery illness. But good lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, we’re back.  Confederate NASCAR Over the weekend, at the Talladega Superspeedway, the race may have been canceled, but that didn’t stop NASCAR fans from showing their disapproval of the recent ban of the Confederate Flag at stock car races. ESPN reported a plane flew above the track towing a banner of a Confederate flag that read, "Defund NASCAR." Aunt Jemima bad In other cancel culture news, Quaker Oats may be canceling the  Aunt Jemima brand, but that change isn’t making everyone happy. The family of the woman, Lillian Richard, who was the model and spokesman behind the iconic image on the pancake syrup and mix isn’t pleased with the erasure of their relatives' hard work. That’s a descendant of the actual Aunt Jemima on WIFR TV in East Texas.  Tear down Robert Moses The latest statue to get the bullseye for coming down? The man known as the “Master Builder” in New York City is the latest bronze bubba to have protesters call for statues in his honor to be erased. Ten Ten WINS reports the angry mob wants the statue in Babylon, Long Island to indeed kiss the dirt. Hell, why stop there, he was the great architect for New York City, just burn the whole damn city to the ground, now that would be some mighty fine erasin’. Lenin gets statue in Germany In a somewhat related story, the citizens of Gelsenkirchen in West Germany won the right to erect a statue of Lenin after a lengthy legal battle. So while here in the US, we’re busy tearing down statues of Lincoln, Grant and Daffy Duck, Germany gets a new statue of the first leader of Soviet Russia. With a death toll under his belt estimated somewhere north of three million souls. Chicago breaks record What the hell is going on in Chicago? The Sun Times reports that one hundred and four people were shot over the weekend in the windy city and fourteen died from gunshot wounds. Those deaths included a 3-year-old boy and 13-year-old girl. This is a new record for shooting victims for the year in the windy city. Congratulations to all involved. Pennies new toilet paper Here’s something you didn’t expect. Forget the toilet paper shortage, the US is now in a coin shortage. NPR reports that American banks are running low on pocket change. It seems that due to the pandemic, what else, the Federal Reserve has been forced to ration nickels, dimes, quarters and yes even pennies. When the banks shut down their lobbies from the rona’ virus, those unused coins in your piggy bank backed up (excuse the pun), leading to a shortage nationwide and pennies becoming the new toilet paper. Wasn’t it just last week that chickens were declared the new toilet paper? Personally, I don’t want to wipe my ass with either one of them. Bringing new meaning to the phase, “Change we can relieve in:” Eel’s and rectum do not go together  Speaking of... We’re back to another story about another Chinaman sticking inappropriate things in places where the sun don’t shine. According to that bastion of journalistic integrity, the Daily Mail, a man in his fifties in Guangdong, sauntered into the hospital complaining of abdominal pain. In a million years you will never guess what the doctors found? It seems Mister Mensa had inserted a 16-inch live eel into his to quote; 'treat his constipation.' Now before you try anything similar, Mister Gere, this Chinese idiot in question underwent emergency surgery after having his colin torn apart by the slimy creature. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  The great statue war of 2020. Fawlty Towers falls. Starbucks not woke, woke. Band Aids woke. Lawlessness in Seattle and three tales of the po po.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   The Great Statue War Get ready for the first weekend of the great statue war. In London, they’ve completely encased the statue of Winston Churchill so protesters can’t deface and topple the statue of a man that just a few scant years ago was voted England’s greatest Britton. British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.  Christopher Columbus, Cecil Rhodes, Robert the Bruce in Scotland and Belgium’s King Leopold have all been the targets of angry mobs of woke il-liberals.  What’s the end game? Well, now English protesters are calling for the destruction of the Great Pyramids of Giza in Egypt and in the US, CNN talking head Angela Rye has called for statues of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson to be torn down. Like we didn’t see that coming. Meanwhile, across the pond, Nigel Farage resigned from his radio show with, quote “immediate effect” on Thursday. This comes following Farage’s comparison of the statue demolishers to the Taliban. Referring to the destruction of the two thousand year old Buddhas of Bamyan by the Talaban in 2001. Well, if the shoe fits.  Cancel everything Just how absurd can all this get? Well, an episode of the classic TV comedy “Fawlty Towers has been removed from UKTV. So far John Cleese, the Monty Python star who played Basil on the series, hasn’t commented on the move. Not to be outdone, the Nick Jr. cartoon Paw Patrol is being targeted by activists. It seems that the positive slant of the police dogs portrayed on the cartoon are just more than the offended woke mob can deal with.  Starbucks Black Lives (don’t/do) Matter Just as news came in from burnt coffee giant Starbucks that they will be closing some four hundred stores in North America, the Seattle brown liquid proprietor released a statement that workers in its store will not be allowed to wear pro black lives matter attire. Although Starbucks has gotten on the corporate bandwagon of virtue signaling their support for BLM, they just don’t want employees showing their political colors on the job. All of this comes from that bastard, uh bastion of journalistic integrity BuzzFeed, who has posted an internal Starbucks memo online. The memo states that BLM flair does not conform to Starbucks dress code policy banning pins representing “political, religious or personal issue[s]” All I can say is, ’m sure the mob is coming for you next, despite your corporate virtue signaling. OK, forget everything I just said, Starbucks just caved. According to CNN, Starbucks is reversing the position prohibiting employees from wearing paraphernalia, such as T-shirts or pins supporting BLM. Wonder if this new policy includes all political paraphernalia? Expect someone to get fired for wearing a Trump hat or Goldwater pin and lawsuits to commence forthwith. Me thinks Starbucks just opened their own bag of whoopass. Band-Aid gets woke Let’s see, what else we got here. Band-Aids are becoming more inclusive. According to an article on KVUE-TV, Band-Aid is expanding products for all skin tones. The company is set to launch bandages in light, medium and deep shades of brown and black skin tones. That should fix just about everything.  Seattle Autonomous Zone Update We got a couple three police stories for you. In the continuing saga of Lawless in Seattle, the police chief has now gone on record that city officials in the people's republic of Seattle left the po po out to dangle in the wind during the recent riots and protests.  Well, even though she’s black, she isn’t towing the woke Seattle intersectionalist agenda, so she can probably kiss her job goodbye. As a side note, Trump continues his Twitter war of words with the Seattle and Washington State political machine. Tweeting Friday morning, quote: “Seattle Mayor says, about the anarchists takeover of her city, “it is a Summer of Love”. That’s Seattle Mayor dingbat Durkin. Trump continues: “These Liberal Dems don’t have a clue. The terrorists burn and pillage our cities, and they think it is just wonderful, even the death. Must end this Seattle takeover now!” I wonder what he’s really thinking?  No pee at Berklee Five Oh The Berklee College of Music is apologizing for allowing the Boston Police to use their facilities to relieve themselves during the recent unrest in the city. According to Fox News, the school apologized for, quote:  “perpetuating feelings of oppression, silencing and marginalization” after it let Boston Police use its bathrooms. You know, you just can’t make this shit up.   San Fran surrenders Meanwhile, in San Francisco, the Police have announced that in accordance with the current political climate of calls for defunding the po po and to limit unnecessary confrontation between the police department and the community, the San Fran boys in blue will no longer respond to non-criminal calls. The web site Watch our City reports Mayor London Breed also noted that the city will ban the use of military-grade weapons and divert funding to the African-American community. Murder over dog poop Now this is one fucked up story. A woman in Denver was shot and killed because she was talking to her dog, trying to convince the pooch to do its duty. According to the Denver Post,  twenty one year old Isabella Thallas was walking her dog with a friend near Coors Field when a verbal altercation ensued with someone in an apartment,  over her telling her dog to hurry up and poop. Thirty six year old  Michael Close then allegedly opened fire on the couple shooting Thallas dead. Police later nabbed the reputed shooter Wednesday driving on a nearby highway.  A rifle and a handgun were found in his car. A GoFundMe page has been set up for the woman’s family to cover funeral expenses. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  A confederacy in Seattle. Statues fall everywhere. If you’re bald don’t get covid. Hot pants are back. NASCAR bans it’s unofficial symbol and you computer may be a slave owner.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Seattle goes full retard Not sure if you’ve been keeping up on the continuing saga of protesters and their confederacy happening in Seattle. But here’s a brief rundown. A group of protesters have taken over a six block area in downtown Seattle and christened it the “Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone.” Included in this area is a police station, which the Seattle police have abandoned and surrendered to the protesters. The new leaders of the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone have renamed the police precinct the “Seattle People Department.” Although the protesters say it’s all about peace and love, there have been alleged instances of violence, profiling and shakedowns of business in the new Zone. The Police and city government have decided not to react to the rebellion and the Governor said during a news conference that he didn’t even know the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone even existed. Wait, you’ve got a group setting up an autonomous government in your states largest city, and you don’t even know about it. Trump has called for the Mayor and Governor to act and they have tweeted back that they think the President is a nincompoop or something. Trump has threatened to send in his own goon squad to liberate the area from the current goon squad and take back the city. Now comes news that in Portland, a group there is attempting to set up their own Autonomous Zone. Come on, it’s not anarchy, they’re just setting up a new HOA.  The whole thing is a total shit show.  Statues next on the cancel culture chopping block The cancel culture has turned up the cancel to eleven. Statues are coming down in the US and England faster than you can say critical race theory. A statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis was ripped from it’s plinth in Richmond and  statues of Columbus in Boston, Miami and Virginia have been vandalised.  In England, there even after a statue of the head of the Boyscouts. In Portsmouth, Virginia, a statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis seriously injured a protester as it fell and whacked said protester squarely on the noggin. The pronoun is reportedly in critical condition. In England a statue of Queen Victoria was sexualized and defaced with black lives matter graffiti. I’ve got an idea, let’s tear all the statues down, everywhere and replace every single one of them with statues of our lord and savior George Floyd. Mount Rushmore, George Floyd. Lincoln Memorial, George Floyd. Will that make you happy?  Didn’t think so.  Leave it to cleaver You ever notice that every couple of days there’s some Chinese human that ends up with something lodged in their or some other uncompromising or unfortunate body part. The Daily Mail reports, complete with footage available to watch at the overnight underground website, of a man in the Hubei province walking into a hospital with a meat cleaver squarely implanted in his skull. According to the article the mishap took place after a heated argument. Probably over MSG.  Bald men suffer more, from coronavirus Well here’s the latest piece of science you can probably ignore. According to Professor Carlos Wambier of Brown University, bald men may suffer more from coronavirus. The New York Post reports that the follically challenged may have a much higher vulnerability to the disease. In one study, almost eighty percent of coronavirus patients in three Madrid hospitals were bald. I wonder how they explain all the women dead from the disease. Maybe it’s time to buy stock in Rogaine, Trump will undoubtedly start touting it as a cure any minute now.  Hot pants make comeback Well here’s some good news No really! Hot pants are back in fashion. Yahoo is reporting that those butt huggin’ short shorts are back and just in time for the steamy summer weather. Because in today’s political climate, nothing says liberation quite like the objectification of women.  Other cancelations Just in case you were wondering, Coachella and the StageCoach 2020 festivals have been officially canceled. Sound byte of the day Here’s my favorite sound-byte of the day, it’s a protest in a Seattle municipal building .Someone got told.  NASCAR surrenders the flag NASCAR has banned the flying of the Confederate flag at its races. Makes you wonder, what are the rednecks going to wear? They all gonna’ go naked? There is no truth to the rumor that the hammer and sickle sidgel are the new official colors for NASCAR. After all, the drivers have only been turning left for decades now. On next year's NASCAR schedule, the Compton 500.  Your computer is racist I’ll bet you didn’t see this one coming. In light of the current politically correct climate, CNet is reporting a growing movement to update terms used with hard drives, camera flashes and databases. There is a growing howl from the woke circles in tech to erase the terms "master" and "slave." The terms are used to describe the relationships between two computer hard drives and other hardware relationships, such as camera flashes. Come on, just admit it, it really is getting ridiculous isn’t it. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  The cancel culture just keeps rollin’ along. Disney and Paramount targeted are with the cancelation bullseye. Boris Johnson brings back sex to the Brits. New York offers coronavirus sex advice and the Republicans are moving to Florida, well, not all of them.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   The Cancel Culture update Well we’re still keeping tabs on everything the social justice pharisees have banned or canceled in the last 24 hours. Let’s see, HBO Max has ‘temporarily’ removed the movie “Gone with the Wind” from their streaming service. I guess HBO believes the film adaptation of Margaret Mitchell’s book is just too vile for us uneducated pleb’s to view. The network said that it will reinstate the classic film with an updated statement on racial depictions within the film. That should be ok. They believe long as I watch it with the proper explanation from a corporation that gives me a dispensation to view it with their objective viewpoint of right-think, it will all be good. Frankly HBO.  Cops gets canceled Let’s see, what else, the show Cops has been canceled. Paramount has canceled the show after over three decades of cop chases, meth busts and toothless hooker arrests. A spokesman, wait, can we say ‘man’ is that still allowed? Anyway a spokespronoun said, quote: "Cops is not on the Paramount Network and we don't have any current or future plans for it to return." Viewers of the show also issued a statement, "now that Cops is not on the Paramount Network, we don't have any current or future plans for us to return to the network."    The show “Live PD” also looks like it may soon get the axe.  However the host of the show, Dan Abrams, Tweeted, the show will return, despite an uproar over their filming and subsequent erasure of a black man’s death during a 2019 Texas police stop. Of course resumption of Live PD assumes that the US will have any remaining police departments for the camera crews to follow around after the current mass hysteria for defunding and abolishment of the popo.  Disney cancelations in progress Oh and there are calls to have Disney shut down Splash Mountain. The kerfuffle is due to the ride being themed to the now anathema Disney movie “Song of the South.” Advocates have set up a petition to force the mouse house to change the attraction. I know, how about Space Splash Mountain, Where Imperial Stormtroopers force you take a tTurkish steam bath at gunpoint with Jabba the Hut, just  to prove your not racist or something.  Boris brings back sex Today British Prime Minister Boris Johnson introduced and new term for sex, the “support bubble.”  I wonder if this means porn hub premium isn’t free anymore? I think this move by the Brit’s is primarily for those who can’t keep their c@ck down during lockdown. Who knows, maybe for those over fifty,  “support bubble” is slang for erectile dysfunction drugs.  Sex in NY Meanwhile across the pond in New York CIty, city health officials have delivered updated guidance for sex in the big apple, and other places too. The advisory advises to, quote:  “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.”  So are they saying glory holes are OK?  If social distancing isn’t your thing, the advisory recommends “well-ventilated spaces” for group sex. And who doesn’t. And don’t forget to bring along alcohol-based hand sanitizer. Yea’ gotta’ keep those hands clean, you don’t know where they’ve been.  Washington drones According to U.S. Customs and Border Protection commissioner Mark Morgan, the drones used during the Washington protests slash riots were not used to spy on protesters. Morgan told ABC News that, quote: "We were not providing any resources to surveil lawful peaceful protesters. That's not what we were doing," That’s totally believable. Maybe they were being used to tag speeders.  Republican convention to move to Florida Rumor has it today that the Republicans will move their convention to Jacksonville. According to multiple sources including US News and World Report, the RNC is planning a two-part convention which will take place in two separate locations with the big shindigs taking place in Jacksonville. Even though Jacksonville has plenty of hotels and venues for the convention, the RNC may have a hell of a time finding anything big enough to house Trump’s massive ego. Jacksonville huh, That reminds me of the old joke: What has 8 legs and three teeth? The night shift at the Jacksonville Waffle House.

It’s time for the Overnight Underground News Podcast.  I’m John Ford.   George Floyd fest Ah, it’s kind of a boring news day today, but that could all change in a flash. On Monday there was a viewing of the body of our lord and savior George Floyd and of course today is the wall to wall coverage of the George Floyd funeral. Democrats staged one of those take a knee moments for eight minutes and 46 seconds in DC on Monday. Nancy Pelosi had a hard time getting back up as her knees gave out. Probably not the first time for that. The Democrats pushed their Justice in Policing Act and Republicans said no, police are friends not food. The whole damn thing feels just like an endless and perpetually annoying kabuki theatre. Just turn it off already and step away from the TV and Twitter if you know what’s good for you.  Army may rename bases The Army has announced they are ready to surrender to cancel culture and the politics of victimhood. Army brass yesterday said they are considering changing names of forts and bases that are named after Confederate generals. Among those bases that are being considered for name change are Fort Bragg in North Carolina, Fort Benning in Georgia and Fort Hood in Texas. That one could just become Fort Boys in the Hood. That would work. There is no truth to the rumors that some of the names being considered as replacements for the racist, offensive, objectionable and mean fort names are:  Fort Looser, Fort Surrender, Fort Politically Correct, Fort Pu**y, Fort White Flag, Fort PornHub, Fort McFortyface, Fort Gomer, Fort Social Justice Warrior, Fort Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Fort Duchebag and of course Fort A**hole.  Cancel culture of the day report Here’s some more cancel culture news. Adam Rapoport, The Editor in Chief over at Bon Appétit has stepped down. No it wasn’t because he ordered fried chicken. It seems an old Instagram post with Rapoport in brownface surfaced on Monday, and of course, that calls for erasing him from existence. The Wrap reports that Rapoport said he is, quote: “stepping down as editor in chief of Bon Appétit to reflect on the work that I need to do as a human being.” As opposed to work he did in the past as what? A gerbil, fish, a wallaby?  It seems it’s just too much for anyone to take after the picture of Rapoport surfaced from a Halloween costume he wore 16 years ago. Honestly, I’ve seen the picture and he just looks like your typical douche  bag Yankees fan. But here’s something I always wondered. Why is it not acceptable to dress in black or brown face, but it’s perfectly acceptable for men to dress as women in drag wearing the most ridiculous makeup and clothes that many would say are demeaning women. HI mean, there's even top rated TV shows dedicated to this misogyny. Makes no sense to me. But then none of this cancel culture, social justice, neo-marxist postmodernism does.  No more streaming Little Britain for you Oh hell, let’s just cancel TV shows while we're at it. The Guardian reports the TV show Little Britain has been axed from all UK streaming platforms.  The erasure is due to concerns about the use of blackface by its two stars, David Walliams and Matt Lucas. The BBC Ministry of Truth said, quote: “Times have changed since Little Britain first aired, so it is not currently available on BritBox.” I say it’s time to target All in the Family next. Archie Bunker must be canceled.  North Korea throws a hissy fit North Korea is back in the news. According to multiple reports, North Korea has cut all communication channels with their neighbors in the South. This latest move from the North comes as it escalates pressure on South Korea for failing to stop activists from floating anti-Pyongyang leaflets, money and thumb drives with movies and music across the border. According to the Guardian, North Korea said it will make Soul suffer for its actions. Isn’t having to live next to North Korea suffering enough.  I’d report on more, but honestly, I’ve just had enough for today. I need to keep a little bit of my sanity.

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  Refund the police, oh wait, that’s defund the police. In New York the murder rate is on the rise. The cancel culture racks up at least three over the weekend. Your Sims may have STD’s and no donut discounts for the po po in Rhode Island.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Bad cop no money The city of Minneapolis has come up with a novel way to deal with rioting, looting and what now seems like perpetual protesting, they’re going to disband the police department. Come to think about it, what better way to lower crime rates than to dismantle and defund the police. No police, no reported crime. Minneapolis Council President Lisa Bender told CNN  Wait, that’s the wrong Bender. That's Minneapolis Council President Lisa Bender, saying the same thing twice. I wonder how many times she rehearsed that? So what do they do next without a police department? According to Bender, the city will move police funding toward community-based strategies and the city council will hold discussions on how to replace the current police department. Wait, she’s admitting they’re scrapping the police department and they don’t know what they’re actually going to replace it with? Hey, there’s been a homicide, quick, send in the social workers. I wonder how Walmart and Target will feel about rebuilding their stores in Minneapolis, with them being guarded by the city council and social workers? Murder rates rise in New York Meanwhile in New York City with the protests and lootings of the last week, shootings and murders rose dramatically in the big apple. The New York Post reports that compared to the same period last year murders nearly tripled  From Sunday to Monday there were thirteen murders in New York city and forty shootings. At least one shooting in the city was allegedly attributable to looting when one alleged looter was shot by another alleged looter, allegedly in SoHo during the alleged rioting and looting in New Looterville, allegedly formerly known as New York. Allegedly.  New York Times cancels editor The cancel culture has been working overtime in the media over the weekend. At the New York Times the Editorial Page Editor, James Bennet, resigned following the paper publishing an op-ed from Republican Senator Tom Cotton. According to The Hill, the newspaper’s announcement of the resignation did not mention the controversy over the Cotton op-ed. The Times must think we’re all idiots not admitting that the two aren’t related.  Philadelphia Inquirer cancels editor The top editor of The Philadelphia Inquirer also resigned over the weekend. Stan Wischnowski fell on his sword following the printing of an article with the headline “Buildings Matter, Too.” Maybe they should have titled it “Black Buildings Matter, Too”.The paper printed an apology and said they were sorry because some found the article offensive. I agree, it’s time to put an end to printing anything that might possibly offend someone, it’s just criminal. I’d say they should be arrested, but once we abolish the police, who’s going to arrest them? I know, send in the social workers.  Variety cancels editor Meanwhile, over at Variety,  Editor in Chief Claudia Eller has been placed on administrative leave. This comes after a heated exchange on Twitter, wait is there any other kind, over the lack of newsroom diversity. I’d give you the gory details, but let’s just say someone is offended and angry over something and blah, blah, blah ad infinitum ad nauseam.  JK Rowling called on carpet over belief in biological sex JK Rowling is next on the cancel culture weekend list. It seems the  Harry Potter author has stopped her tiptoeing around the mirky pseudo-scientific world of biological sex. Rowling Tweeted over the weekend, among other things, that “ If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased.” Needless to say the Trans community, was, wait for it, offended. Yea, the twitter outrage squad have called the tweets “anti-trans” and “transphobic.” I know, let’s force her to get a hysterectomy and buy her a pair of truck nuts and start calling her Joe, that will teach that f**king TERF. My question is, if biological sex isn’t real, why do people feel the need to transition from one unreality to another?  https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1269382518362509313 Sims catch STD’s Your Sim’s may have the clap. A new update to Sims 4 has apparently given urinating sims flaming pee. The gaming website RPS notes the latest update does indeed give Sims depending on how you look at it, either a new superpower or an STD, fire piss. It seems that it doesn’t matter if you stand up or sit down to do your duty, the fire is still there. That’s what she said. Some redditors have noted that the fire pee seems to happen if the bathroom and hence the toilet is above the kitchen. Maybe it’s a gas leak or something. Either way, shit, or in this case, piss, does indeed roll down hill.   Chinese man’s butt is fishy In China, a man recently had to have a fish removed from his rectum. The Daily Mail reports a 30-year-old man had doctors remove a whole fish from his rectum after he said he sat on it by accident. The doctors made the fishy discovery after the man was admitted to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. I wonder if it was billy bass? Then he’d really be talking out his ass.  Cops to pay full price for diabetes In Rhode Island it really is bad cop no donut time. Allie’s Donuts, in North Kingstown, Rhode Island, recently announced via Instagram that they will no longer be offering discounts to police officers or members of the military. Why? Because of recent accusations of racism and injustice against the local police department of course. It goes without saying that people are outraged and hurt all the way around. Me, I have a dream that one day that it will become self-evident that all of God's donuts are created equally delicious. Until then, no crullers, no peace, no discount for the police.  Assault by burger Wait, this might be a new one, assault by hamburger. TSG reports that a Florida woman assaulted her beau with a burger that started with an argument over an open window in the couples trailer. Wow, there is so much wrong with that sentence I just wouldn’t know where to begin. Anyway, according to the report, 47-year-old Tanya Cordero denies the assault by burger, but the cops say there were still hamburger remnants in the alleged assaulted man’s  ear when the cops arrived. Cordero was charged with domestic battery and later released from jail on her own recognizance. It’s not the first time Cordero has been in trouble with the cops for assaulting her partner, in January, she was convicted of battering her boyfriend over their children’s Halloween costumes and served three months in jail.

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  There’s good employment news today. White folk get bigger job gains but blacks and hispanics, well not so much and a tale of two mayors.   Today on the Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Good news for Jobs Hey, here’s some. No really, it actually is good news. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics the US unemployment rate has actually fallen. The index fell to  thirteen point three percent, and the economy actually gained two and a half million jobs despite the damn plague. Needless to say, Wall Street latched on to the jobs report and was up around   seven hundred points at market open. The good economic news comes during the phased reopening of businesses across the country.   Dentists lead the way The Week reports that ten percent of the employment gains were due to dentists. Just under a quarter of a million of the job gains came from dentists' offices, as dental patients were less down in the mouth about the safety of returning to the dentist. There is also further proof now that reports are inherently racist. Bloomberg notes that while white employment rose, that wasn’t the case for black folk. The unemployment rate for black American’s rose to sixteen point eight percent. Latino’s fared the worst, with just over seventeen and a half percent unemployed. Cleveland gets a new city motto In the past Cleveland has had one or two regrettable monikers. There’s the “Mistake by the lake” and of course the unofficial motto of Cleveland, “Hey, at least we’re not Detroit.” Thanks to the mayor of Cleveland, they now have a new one. Well bless his heart. Yep, that’s Cleveland mayor Frank Jackson from an interview on The Appeal. Let me tell you, I spent a month in Cleveland one weekend, and outside of the burning river, it wasn’t that bad.  Simi Valley mayor is full of sh*t Simi Valley don’t take no shit. On Monday, Simi Valley Mayor Pro Tem Mike Judge posted a meme on Facebook, which read, “Wanna stop the riots? Mobilize the septic tank trucks, put a pressure cannon on ’em, and hose ’em down.” Today, many are calling for him to resign. Judge, a near 30-year veteran with the LAPD,  said the meme was a joke. Well, joke or not, it’s 2020 and if you haven’t gotten the memo, the world is officially a no joke zone. A lot of people were offended, and that is the new unforgivable sin, so the Mayor must be canceled. Well, at least he didn’t call the city the There is that.

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  Mattis turns on Trump. America exports it’s latest resource, rioting. LA is engulfed with trash. Oh yea, there is a pandemic, I forgot. America is in desperate need of more guns and what do porn, death and psychedelic toads have in common? .   We’ll find out on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Protest and rioting update Let’s see, since yesterday we’ve learned that according to the autopsy report, George Floyd was infected with covid and was feeling pretty good, well at least before he had a knee on his throat, it seems he was on nice opioid buzz from fentanyl. Former Defense chief Mad Dog Mattis is the latest former Trump ally to turn on the Prez. Mattis told The Atlantic, quote: “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people—does not even pretend to try. Instead he tries to divide.” Trump unleashed back at the news Mattis had thrown him under the bus, tweeting: “I didn’t like his “leadership” style or much else about him, and many others agree. Glad he is gone!”  America’s greatest export: Rioting The spread of what seems to be America’s greatest export this week, rioting and violence is beginning to get out of hand across the pond.There was rioting last night outside 10 Downing Street in London. The sound of rioters throwing, well pretty much anything they can get their hands on, at the Prime Ministers residence in London. There have been reports of attacks against journalists by the peaceful protesters in London. One photojournalist was allegedly hit over the head with a bottle by a protester who reportedly yelled “f**k the daily mail,” while committing said assault. Another reporter from Australia was grabbed by a man while on air who made stabbing motions and yelled Aloha Snackbar.  There have been reports of rioting taking place as far away as Athens with peaceful protesters torching the American embassy in Athens. Some ho in Houston  Our sound byte of the day comes today from Houston. Check out this protester offering her, ah, services to the boy’s in blue of the Houston Police Department. I’ll bet she does. Wonder if she has any coupons for bulk purchases? You know, for the whole precinct and all.  LA is nothing but garbage Here’s a protest / riot statistic you probably haven't heard. In LA, the city’s sanitation workers have collected nearly four hundred tons of trash between Friday and Tuesday. Watch Our City dot com reports crews have collected three hundred and ninety five tons of trash, rocks, bricks, bulky and burnt materials created from the recent unrest and looting.  Remember, there is still a pandemic Sorry to take the attention away from protests and riots, but we do have some pandemic news to report. Just under two million new unemployment claims were filed last week, that brings the pandemic job losses to a whopping grand total of forty two point six million folks left without gainful employment, and it’s taken one week shy of three months to get there. As bad as that is, the latest figures are the lowest since the week that ended on March 21st,  when the full impact of state-mandated lockdowns was felt. But now that we’re no longer under lockdown, and protesting side by side in the streets and all back to work, it’s all good. No worries. Besides, it’s all a hoax anyway. Covid surge probably on the way But just in case you don’t think the whole pandemic thing is a hoax, there is this news. CNN is reporting that new cases of covid are surging in the south and west of the US. Needless to say, the  crowded protests here in the land of the free and home of the naive are sparking new worries. Arkansas, Texas and Arizona are states seeing spikes in new cases of the plague. Even the Surgeon General is voicing his concerns over the spread of coronavirus from the densely packed black lives matter protests. Surgeon General Dr. Jerome Adams told Politico on Monday, that there will likely be a rash of new infections following the protests. One little piece of advice to the protesters and looters, remember, if you die, you can’t vote Trump out of office. So if he gets re-elected, this time protesters, it’s on you,   America needs more guns Gosh darn it all to heck, America now has a shortage of... guns! According to left wing Fox News and a shock to absolutely no one, there has been a rush on gun sales since cities across the lower forty eight have been looted and lighted. The article notes that with the double whammy of covid and now the protests slash riots, gun and sporting goods stores have had a rush from homeowners looking to purchase inexpensive firearms to protect their homes. Maybe we need some kind of guns sale index like the infamous government Waffle House index. That way the stability of our society can be measured in the price of an AR-15. Porn, death and psychedelic toads This is a strange one. According to the Guardian, porn actor Nacho Vidal has been arrested by the Spanish Police. No, it’s not a warrant for the silliest porn name on the planet, he’s been cuffed, along with two other people, in connection with the death of a photographer. Now here’s where it gets kinda’ strange. The photographer is believed to have died after inhaling toad venom during some sort of bizzaro cultic ceremony. All of this allegedly took place back in 2019. The dead man, fashion photographer José Luis Abad, according to the legal statement, croaked during a mystical ritual involving the inhalation of vapors from the psychedelic venom of the bufo alvarius toad. Nacho, and the others indicted were arrested on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter and violating public health laws. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  Protests and unrest continue in America. Defense Secretary Esper distances from Trump. The Gulf needs to get ready for Christobal. Biden gains more delegates and advice for sex in the pandemic. All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   The protests continued in the overnight, and thankfully the looting and violence was a little more subdued. Maybe many of the dissenters feel the same way as this protester on Hollywood Blvd,  who expressed her feelings to an ABC 7 News crew. (white money) Still, there were instances of looting in many cities. In Philly, a 24-Year-Old Looter was Killed While Trying to Blow Up an ATM. And the unrest continued it’s spread across the Atlantic to London and Paris, where riot police used tear gas as and faced off with protesters setting fires in the city of blights. Esper takes aim at Trump Defense Secretary Mark Esper has broken ranks with Trump. Esper said during a press conference that he opposes invoking the Insurrection Act to allow President Trump to use the U.S. military to quell the violence plaguing US cities. It seems the insurrection here, as far as it comes to Esper, is an insurrection against Trump. I hope he’s got his resume updated, cause something tells me he’s not long for wacky administration.  Hurricane season kicks off with a bang Let’s see, we’ve got a pandemic that everyone seems to have forgotten about and thousands of really pissed off people protesting and looting in American cities. What else do we have to throw into the mix? How about a potential hurricane making a possible bee-line for New Orleans. Tropical storm Christobal formed in the southwestern Gulf of Mexico on Tuesday and is expected to meander, hat in hand, toward the U.S. Gulf Coast late Sunday or early Monday. It’s still a crap shoot what the storm's intensity will be once it hits the US gulf coast.  Biden gains more delegates While no one was looking, Presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden swept all seven presidential primaries yesterday. It’s a big win for Biden, who has no opposition, but we won’t draw any attention to that. These wins put Biden just short of the 1,991 delegates he needs for the nomination. Uncontested primaries next week in Georgia and West Virginia should put him over the top.  Risky and frisky pandemic sex If your having sex during the pandemic, it might be a good idea to put a bag over your heads. Well, at least wear a face mask. According to a study from Harvard University, the safest way to have corona-sex is wearing a mask over your puss. It’s probably also a good idea to use a condom.  Some studies have also shown that coronavirus traces have been found in men’s semen. Oh hell, just get yourself a tarp. Maybe those wacky furries were actually on to something.  Alligators are rioting too Holy sea cow, now the rioting has spread to the alligator community. A woman in Fort Myers, Florida was shocked that the pounding on her front door had nothing to do with the Jehovah's Witnesses, it was two gators duking it out in all their amphibian glory. According to the Fort Myers News Press,  one of the gators had his snout pinned on her door while fending off it’s rival. A video of the whole sordid alligator fisticuffs was posted to Facebook. Of course, that link is available on today’s overnight underground dot com web page.  Remember the camera is always hot Always assume the mic and in this case the camera is on. According to the Daily Mail, a Mexican senator got caught during a zoom meeting with government officials when she assumed the camera wasn’t loaded. Martha Lucia Micher let it all hang out while changing her blouse during the video meeting and everyone got an eyeful of Martha’s t----, b----, p----, ah you know.   The senator blames the faux pas on her lack of computer knowledge and needing a few extra dollar bills.

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  Trump gets his wall. Apple Store looters get a surprise. Rioters in LA target bagels. Are you ready for the comie radio network and stormtroopers police social distancing.   These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   It seems Trump may finally have gotten his wall after all. Video of the White House today shows that a larger perimeter fence has been installed around the entire Presidential crib. The Secret Service says they are just reinforcing security around the White House and have told Fox News it’s just an expansion of the perimeter. I say, look no matter how high they make the damn thing, a mesh fence just can’t keep us safe from Trump. But with any luck, it might be enough to keep him locked in his cell, ah bunker until November 4th. Maybe de Blasio and Cuomo could join him there for jello wrestling or something and keep these three retards busy until after the elections.  Apple bricks looted computers Looters who grabbed computers from Apple Stores are in for a surprise. It seems that the computers and i-devices snatched by lootie are bricked junk. TMZ reports devices swiped from the Apple Store are demo machines rooted with applications that prevent the devices from being reset to factory settings. Yea, they are essentially useless, overpriced electronic  paperweights. To make matters even worse for lootie, the devices are also being tracked. Maybe get some tee shirts made up that say, “I looted an Apple Store today and all I got was a thousand dollar paperweight.” Rolex store looters get big booty Rolex is probably thinking it’s too bad they can’t brick their watches. The New York Post reports that looters swiped just under two and a half million dollars worth of watches just from one  Rolex store in the SoHo neighborhood of Manhattan. The store, on Greene Street was needless to say, emptied by looters. Two and a half million, that’s what...  two Rolex watches.  Jewish business targeted in LA I know, let’s blame this nonsensel on the Jews. The Jerusalem Post reports that rioters hit synagogues and kosher stores up and down the historically Jewish Fairfax district in Los Angeles. The Rabbi Gershon Bess Shul was tagged along with the Congregation Beth Israel, which was graffitied with anti-semitic slogans like the old standby used by anti-semites world wide, "F**k Israel" and "Free Palestine." A number of kosher deli’s and stores were looted. Hey, looters got to nosh too.  The FCC are morons Well here’s some good news. foreign companies can now own American broadcast properties. Yesterday, according to Radio Ink, the FCC voted to allow foreign investment in Cumulus Broadcasting, up to one hundred percent. Cumulus is the third largest owner and operator of radio stations in the US. Sounds like a great idea, allowing ownership of US broadcast properties by foreign entities such as Russia, China and hell, why not North Korea and Iran. Bet they would still play shitty American pop music though.   Stormtroopers enforce social distancing I just love this story. At Disney parks, Imperial Stormtroopers will be in charge of social distancing. Following the reopening of parts of Disney World on May 20th, citizens visiting the parks must follow social distancing rules. In a video released by attractions magazine, two stormtroopers can be seen at Disney Springs, blasters in hand ordering visitors at the happiest place on earth to stay the hell away from each other. Of course that video can be viewed on today’s podcast page at overnight underground dot com.  Mutant ticks take over Russia Making the list of things that want to kill you today, are mutant ticks. Over in Russia, in the Krasnoyarsk region, they’ve been blighted, or is that bited, by and invading horde of blood-sucking ticks. The Daily Star reports, the new and deadly “mutant” ticks are spreading across the region at a rate of 428 times more than the usual tick infestation rate. I didnt’ even know they had such a thing, a tick infection rate. I don’t know about you, but I’m stayin’ home and locking my doors. In the suburbs of Krasnoyarsk city they are infested with 214 ticks per square kilometer. The normal “safe figure is 0.5.

The Overnight Underground News Podcast. Unless you’ve been living in a hole, and well, it’s actually something we here at the Overnight Underground would highly recommend at this point in history, you undoubtedly witnessed either first hand or on the flat screen, the mayhem and lawlessness currently plaguing the streets of America. So maybe you’re asking yourself, just how wide spread is it? Well, Yahoo News reports that the protests by day and riots by night have spread to one hundred and forty cities in the US. But don’t go thinking that this is just an American problem, the unrest is now spreading, like a plague to other western democracies.  Mayhem Spreads On Sunday night rioting and looting spread to our neighbors in the north. Montreal witnessed peaceful protesters turned criminals as businesses were looted and police responded with tear gas. According to the Montreal Gazette, eleven were arrested in last night’s melee. Meanwhile in England, This morning a large crowd flying an Antifa flag was chanting ‘fuck the police’ outside Downing Street. (downing) Kind of fun to hear “fuck the police” with a british accent. In New Zealand, an estimated two thousand protesters surrounded the US Consulate in Auckland. So, yea, this is no longer just an American problem. I’m so glad we could get our exports going again.  Trump calls Governors wimps The politics surrounding this wanton destruction of businesses and property is sometimes amusing and as usual accomplishes little and appears to only fan the flames of more disorder. The Republicans blame Antifa and the Democrats blame white supremacists and each other and the cities burn. The President had a phone call with nation's Governors Monday morning and the great orange one called out many of the Governors for being, well, pussies. Trump spent part of last night dominating the secret bunker in the basement of the White House.  Amnesty calls US Po Po bad And here’s a funny story, Amnesty International is calling for an end of militarized police response to the protests. Axios notes the group has issued a statement calling for an end to militarized policing in U.S. cities and the use of  what they call "excessive force" against demonstrators. Look, I agree with you on this, militarized police is an issue and a really, really bad idea. But damn, cities are burning, private property is being looted and destroyed and the approach of “we feel your pain now go home cause mom and dad love you and have stocked your basement with fresh Doritos” just doesn’t appear to be working. Right now it seems like the plan is to let the rioters loot until there’s nothing left to loot, and then they’ll just give up. Not a very cunning plan.  Air Force Base Shooting And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, comes news of a shooting at the Grand Forks Air Force Base. Newsweek reports two are dead following the shooting at the dorms. The incident is still under investigation. It’s good to know that during these troubled  times, it's comforting to have something American’s are familiar with,  like a mass shooting. Mouthwash could kill you Here’s something random and completely unrelated. Using mouthwash after exercising can cause death. The website Science Alert points to a study that using mouthwash after working out can lead to the reduction of  one of the main benefits of exercise: lowering your blood pressure. It all has something to do with the mouthwash killing bacteria 'key'  opening up blood vessels, hence the hastening of inevitable death. It’s all too damn much science for me after a weekend of looting and rioting, but go ahead and read it if you like, the link of course is available at overnight underground dot com. And yes, welcome to the beautiful planet where everything is out to kill you.  Say something nice day today Hey did you know today is National Say Something Nice Day? (good luck) Maybe we could try some phrases like: “That’s a lovely black block outfit you have on” or “Thank you for sharing your lootie loot with me.” So, come out of your lockdown, and go get your free stuff from your friendly neighborhood get and split, and for god’s sakes, say something nice. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, here’s today's headlines:  How to tell the difference between rioting and protesting. The spread of unrest unsettles a nation. Trump and Twitter take off the gloves. Kim Jung Un battles sex and a new meaning for the term, dead letter office These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Looting and Burning day three If you’ve been paying attention, it now appears that burning and looting is quickly becoming a new national pastime. Protests and riots spread across the US last night from their epicenter in Minneapolis. In the Twin Cities looting, burning and general mayhem trumped the rule of law, as angry and lawless citizens continued their revenge against the police and their city over the death of George Floyd. The National Guard rolled into Minneapolis Friday morning following a night that saw more buildings, businesses and a police station in flames and curiously the arrest of a CNN broadcaster. Meanwhile, according to NBC host Craig Melvin, NBC has banned it’s reporters from using the word ‘riot’ to describe their coverage of the Minneapolis happy fun time party happening on that city's streets.  As the soldiers rolled in to protect firefighters Friday morning, the rioters and protesters appeared to mostly call it a day and blended back into the shadows of a city in cinders. Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, although he might consider changing his name to Jacob Fail after three days of conflagration and anarchy in Minneapolis. Protests and riots spread Protests and rioting spread in the US to New York City’s Union Square, Portland, Denver, Louisville and Columbus, Ohio where the unrest targeted the Ohio Statehouse, with rioters  smashing windows and gaining entry to the building before police turned them back. In Louisville, seven protesters were wounded from gunfire. Chances are it’s not going to be a pleasant weekend in America. I’m not sure what all this rioting and looting is supposed to accomplish, it’s never solved anything in the past and arguably has only made many racial issues in the US even more volatile. In the end all the violence and lawlessness may only lead to a political knee jerk to the right for safety and rule of law,  and the reelection of Trump.  The Trump Twitter showdown continues Trump Tweeted his reaction to the unrest in the country and the post was first flagged by Twitter and later hidden by the Twitterati for quote, “glorifying violence” and breaking the twatter terms of service. The twort from the Prez drew criticism, come on, he attracts criticism like a fly to shit, for allegedly being insensitive to the situation in Minneapolis and calling for violent action against looters. Yesterday Trump signed an executive order targeting social media, and Twitter in particular for regulation from the government over what The President see’s as censorship of the right on the platform. The real sin here is no one, on the right or left, is really talking about free speech, just more regulation from the government, specifically to section 230 of the so-called communications decency act. That law and section allows online platforms to ‘moderate’ user content and at the same time avoid the liability of being a publisher.  All that being said, let’s face it, this whole ‘social media’ thing was an incredibly stupid and delusional idea in the first place, it’s turned into an endless fountain of vapid  flowing bullshit.  Waters blames Trump California Congresswoman Maxine Waters told TMZ on Thursday that she places the blame for the killing of Floyd Geroge in Minneapolis squarely on the shoulders of President Trump. That should garner Waters’ a few more votes in her district.   Reporter’s revenge The next time you think it would be fun to jump in front of a reporter’s camera while they’re  doing a live-shot and shouting whatever the hell you want, you might want to think again about your cunning plan. An Illinois man was busted after allegedly grabbing a TV reporter during a live broadcast and yelling “F–k her right in the p—y,”  The New York Post reports that WGN-TV reporter Gaynor Hall was giving a weather update when 20-year-old Eric Farina ran in front of the camera, grabbed hall and uttered the phrase that must be beeped. Farina was charged with battery and disorderly conduct and later released on a twenty five hundred dollar bond. Kim Jung Un sexy man North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has moved on from his war against the Sea of Japan to a war on sex. According to The Express, the North Korean dictator believes that there is a problem with "immorality" among the country's teenagers, and is declaring their "impure acts" to be treasonous. Kim is peeved over the alleged behaviour of sex craved teenagers and is blaming "decadent capitalist influences", including pornography that has been smuggled in over the Chinese border. In the words of Patrick Henry, “If this be treason, make the most of it”  Dead letter office Talk about the dead letter office. A woman in Montana is claiming that the remains of her dead husband are lost in the limbo of the postal system. Christine Tyler told KTVQ News that her husband died from coronavirus in a Spanish hospital and now she’s trying to track down her husband’s Donald’s remains which she says appear to be lost in the mail. Maybe Donald is secretly infiltrating the postal system to commit dead letter voter fraud. 

The Overnight Underground News Podcast, now the headlines:  More rioting in Minneapolis and protests in LA & Memphis. Troubles for democracy continue in Hong Kong. The Trump Twitter wars begun they have. GE turns out the lights & bears like doughnuts, who knew! These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Minneapolis burns The second night of unrest in Minneapolis sure looked like a bonafide riot. Angered over the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minneapolis PD, protesters turned into rioters and looted a Target, burned down multiple buildings including an auto parts store and a low income housing project. Business owners brandished firearms to protect their stores from looting and at least one shooting death has been reported. According to a reporter from the Star-Tribune, the shooting death allegedly involved a pawn shop owner shooting a looter. So what’s next? Probably the National Guard. The Minneapolis Mayor reportedly has asked Governor Tim Walz to deploy the Guard. The Governor has yet to publicly respond to the request. It’s unfortunate, but some people just want to watch the world burn.  LA squirms On the left coast, protesters in solidarity with their brethren in Minneapolis shut down the 101 freeway and smashed windows on a CHP patrol car. One person was injured when he fell from the hood of a patrol car as it sped from the scene after being mobbed by demonstrators. The Protesters later dispersed and it was all over by six thirty, no arrests were made. NBC Los Angeles also reported further protests in downtown LA later in the night. Protests also took place in Memphis, and arrests were reportedly made there. According to Fox News, President Trump has ordered the FBI and Justice Department to investigate the death of Floyd. What a year 2020 is turning out to be. I don’t even want to think about what’s next.  Hong Kong on the skids On the other side of the globe, things are not much better. Unrest boiled over in Hong Kong following the Chinese government rubber stamping the new Hong Kong security law. The new law authorizes the commie pinko Chinese government to prevent, quote: "secession, subversion, terrorism and foreign interference" in the formerly semi-autonomous city. The new law pretty much officially ends the  "one country-two systems" rule in the former British colony. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Wednesday that Hong Kong is no longer autonomous from China. (captain obvious) So what’s next? Possible sanctions imposed by the US on China and in the end, an erosion of Hong Kong as a financial hub as investors see the city as being a risky place to invest.    The Twitter wars begun they have   The Trump Twitter war continues again today. Following the companies “fact checking” of Trumps twats yesterday, the President said he is set to announce an executive order to 'regulate' social media platforms. Yea, good luck with that. (Byte-airplane-tell you boot good luck were all counting on you)  The President Tweeted this morning, (What the hell we supposed to do you moron), that today, quote: “will be a Big Day for Social Media and FAIRNESS!” You know if he holds a press conference and starts demanding the government liberate compuserve, we’re all flucked. A leak of Trump’s alleged executive order has shown up on social media, that link is of course, available at overnightunderground.com.  Facebook’s Zuckerberg just had to get in on the action too, telling Fox News that private companies shouldn't be 'the arbiter of truth'. Seems to me that Fakebook may not want to be the arbiter of truth but it sure looks like they would love to become overlords of their own little de facto internet.  In other amusing Twatter news, Newsweek is reporting that Twitter's head of site integrity compared Trump's senior counselor Kellyanne Conway to the Nazi government's Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels in a 2017 Tweet. I wonder if the department of site integrity will fact check that one? Twitter head of site integrity, talk about the propaganda pot calling the kettle black.  Joltin’ Joe Biden ain’t Here’s our audio sound byte of the day, and it’s a quickie. It comes to us from presumptive democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, mixing up his sports analogies. It’s a swing and a punt for Biden.  Turn out the lights After over a hundred years of GE is getting out of the light bulb business. Ars Technica reports that GE is selling off its last consumer-facing business. The Wall Street Journal notes that the deal is valued at about two hundred and fifty million dollars. All this begs the questions: Does General Electric still do or make anything electric? And what about their promise of bringing good things to life?  The Hot Pocket bank heist Most people breaking into a bank to steal the money.  Like famed bank robber Willie Sutton once said when asked why he robbed banks, “Because that’s where the money is.” News 10 San Diego reports that a man apparently broke into a Wells Fargo bank Wednesday morning just so he could heat up his Hot Pocket sandwiches. That’s the alleged perp talking with a News 10 reporter as he was led handcuffed from the bank. You know, you just can’t make this shit up.  Donuts and bears oh my How did police in Fort Myers, Florida trap a black bear that was roaming the downtown streets of the city? According to the News Press, why with donuts of course. The po po used their trusty supply of Krispy Kreme’s to lure the bear so wildlife biologists could nab the fury perp. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Officer Adam Brown. I could go for the low hanging fruit here and point out that it was a black bear, so the cops could have just shot him or choked him out, but I won’t. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:  Death and riots in Minneapolis. Protests and tear gas in Hong Kong. Twitter and Trump are playing a game of twitter chicken.  Prostitutes face coronavirus restrictions. Squirt gun baptisms and getting bit by a black widow won’t give you superpowers.  These stories and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Minneapolis goes nuts  The video of a Minneapolis Cop kneeling on the neck of a handcuffed man next to a police car is honestly just too brutal to watch. Especially when you consider the man, gasping and pleading with the police for breath, died following the callous treatment by the cops. The Star Tribune reports that four officers have been fired following the death of 47-year-old George Floyd. Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey. Twenty four hours following the death of Floyd, on the streets of Minneapolis police and protesters clashed within a mele of bottles, rubber bullets and tear gas. A police precinct and multiple police vehicles were trashed in the rioting. The sound of protesters breaking shit recorded by KMSP TV. The FBI and Minnesota state authorities are reportedly investigating Floyd’s death.  Hong Kong’s not so quiet riot Meanwhile on the other side of the planet similar scenes played out on the streets of Hong Kong with clashes between pro-democracy protesters and police. That’s the sound of Hong Kong police breaking shit and shooting pepper guns at protesters. The BBC reports hundreds of people were arrested as Hong Kong citizens took to the streets to demonstrate against a proposed Chinese national security law. Some Hong Kongers compared the scene on the streets of the city to marshal law, with stop and search checkpoints set up in the city and riot police taking a zero tolerance stance. Chief Executive and Beijing mouthpiece Carrie Lam doing her best to assure Hong Kong’s citizens that the Chinese commies are just well meaning really nice guys.  Chinese authorities have said that they will act against foreign interference in Hong Kong and state run media has called US threats of sanctions  a quote, 'nothingburger.'  Wouldn’t a nothing noodle be more apropos? Speaking of burgers, according to the South China Morning Post, Chinese authorities have shut down a WeChat conspiracy social media account claiming the US was using dead bodies to make hamburgers. The world just gets a little stranger and scarier every single day.  Trump and Twitter spar Twitter and the Prez are still going at each other again today. For the first time Twitter added a  'Unsubstantiated' warning to two of President Trump's Tweets. On Tuesday, Trump twatted that supplying voters with mail-in ballots would be, quote: “substantially fraudulent.” Twitter flagged the posts  awith a warning that Trump was making a quote, “unsubstantiated claim.” Trump’s campaign manager released a statement criticizing Twitter’s policy. And so it goes, this should sell a lot of popcorn. Prostitutes get Covid restrictions Well we didn’t see this one coming. In Switzerland sex workers will limit customers to two positions which will allegedly 'minimise the risk of transmitting coronavirus.' According to the Daily Mail, the guidelines will only include sex positions which allow for safe distances between faces and the washing of bed sheets between each customer. That sounds like a lot of loads, of laundry. We’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.  Squirt gun Baptisms are a thing now Last week we had the story about the priest using a squirt gun to bless parishioners during holy week. This week, a priest in the US  is using a water pistol to baptise an infant. And you know, from the twatted picture, you can tell that Father Flatsky, or whatever the hell his name is, has some range time under his cloak with a pretty good weaver stance. Another priest in Canada has kicked it up a notch, it appears he’s using a super soaker for infant baptism. I’m sure Republican Jesus does indeed approve. Cosmic donuts Astronomers have captured images of a donut-shaped ‘cosmic ring of fire’ that existed some eleven billion years ago.  According to the study published in the journal Nature, the ring of fire cosmic donut galaxy formed when two separate galaxies smashed into one another. Think of it like a kind of cosmic copulation or an intergalactic t bone.  Paging Peter Parker OK dumbass, having a black widow spider bite you will not give you superpowers. According to Telemundo, three Bolivian brothers were hospitalized after prodding a black widow spider with a stick to get the nasty little bastard to bite them. Of course, they all thought the bite would turn them into Spider-Man, silly boys, we all know that it only works with a radioactive spider. In fact, the black widow bites turned them into crying twits writhing in pain. To make a long story even longer, the trio spent close to a week in the hospital recovering from the spider bites.  It’s a poopy burger stand In Clearfield, Pennsyltucky Billy's Burgerland is taking some sh*t for opening up the restaurant and resuming dine in service. WJAC reports a man threw a bottle of sewage at the restaurant in retaliation for reopening.  According to the owner of Billy's Burgerland, a man asked one of the waitresses if they were in compliance with the CDC's guidelines and then threw a mountain dew bottle full of sewage and replied let's see if you get any customers now. Maybe they could change to Chinese food and start serving poo poo platters. Besides, someone told me the place might be a dump anyway. Hey I’m here all week, try the veal.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines: Rat armies are invading our cities. Fun, sun and guns at the beach for Memorial Day. The name Karen is now officially a racial slur.  Oh great, now there is coronavirus ache and Larry King inks five million dollar podcast deal. All this and more on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Rat armies are here If the rona’ doesn’t get you, the raging hordes of “roving rat armies” will. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is taking the leap from bacteria and virus oversight to rodent control. As reported last week on The Overnight Underground, with so many humans on lockdown, rats are having a field day, especially in densely packed cities. The CDC is advising American’s to be on the lookout for rodents that are exhibiting unusual or aggressive rodent behavior. Which begs the question, what exactly is unusual behavior for a rat? Bobby Corrigan, an urban rodentologist, told NBC News quote: “So these rats are fighting with one another, now the adults are killing the young in the nest and cannibalizing the pups.” In New Orleans, during the lockdown rodents literally took over Bourbon Street, some even seen carrying giant frozen daiquiris. New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell. No matter what, there’s always one kind of vermin or another perambulating down Bourbon Street Guns and fun for Memorial day And what a Memorial Day weekend it was. American’s headed to the beaches for some fun, sun and of course gunfire over the holiday weekend. Myrtle Beach and Daytona Beach both experienced the firearm fun by otherwise mostly law observing citizens.  WESH TV 2 reported that six people were shot and wounded near the boardwalk in Daytona Beach. Near  Myrtle Beach, two people were killed and five others hurt when gunfire erupted at a Memorial weekend party, according to Fox Carolina. And according to Seven News Chicago, there were ten homicides over the weekend and nearly fifty shot. The moron index was bending the needle over the weekend here in the US of A.  Twitter is apologizing for Trump Trump has Tweeted in the past about the death of  a woman who died in the office of then GOP Representative Joe Scarborough twenty years ago. The AP is reporting that now the husband of that woman, Lori Kaye Klausutis, is demanding that Twitter delete Trump’s tweets that allegedly suggest Scarborough murdered her. In a letter to Twitter's commander in twat, Jack Dorsey, the man said the tworts violate Twitter’s community rules and terms of service. In a response, the Twiddling company said that they were, quote: “deeply sorry about the pain these statements, and the attention they are drawing, are causing the family.” The company stopped short of any censorship or statements generally regarding Trump's Tweets. Michigan Governor gets a taste of her own medicine Here’s today’s story regarding glass houses and stone throwers and all that. In the last week or so, the Governor of Michigan and some of the state's citizens have been at odds over the power of the Governor and the lockdown. Even to the point of some armed Michiganders storming the Capitol building in Lansing. Well now it seems that despite Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer’s push for some of the harshest lock-downs in the US, her family, it seems, feels entitled enough to ignore the rules. Whitmer did recently ease some lockdown restrictions for Memorial Day weekend. She said in a news conference, quote: “if you don’t live in these regions … think long and hard before you take a trip into them. Don’t descend on Traverse City from all regions of the state.” Well, Three days later, according to the Detroit News, a marina owner in the Traverse City area posted on Facebook that the governor’s husband, Marc Mallory, had asked the marina to get their boat in the water before Memorial Day. Now the Governor appears to be all wet.  Woman calls 911 because she sees a black man in the park Let’s see what else we have in the outrage column for today. Have you heard about the story of the white woman walking her dog without a leash in Central Park when a black man asks her to put the dog on a leash. The woman then goes apoplectic and calls 911. The woman has since issued an apology, had her dog taken from her by animal rescue and placed on leave from her job. Amy Cooper, the dog walking woman in question, told CNN that her life is being destroyed over the video of the incident.  Job well done all the way around. You know, that’s the kind of schadenfreude we need, to see some woman’s life destroyed always makes you feel better about your own life.  The whole thing is just such a non-story, but it’s getting national attention, because someone is outraged and we demand someone suffer for it. People, mind your own damn business and just treat each other like human beings, or better yet, like a good dog.  Coronavirus acne There is a new malady striking mask wearers, and it’s name is ‘maskne.’ According to Fox News, maskne is acne that forms under the areas of your face that are covered by a mask. It seems, when you wear a mask, you are essentially sealing in your breath. This creates a moist, humid environment leading to irritation, rashes and acne. It’s kind of like a diaper rash for your face. By tomorrow latest, I want to see everyone applying butt paste to their faces stat.  Covid-19 blackouts could hit cities The next coronavirus related horse shit we might have to deal with this summer? Why rolling blackouts of course. According to The Daily Beast, yea I know, it’s the Daily Beast. Now that so many people are working from home, air conditioning use may spike during the summer causing strains on the nation's grids from sea to shining sea. Just shove a snow cone down your shorts.  Face mask bikinis are now a thing A performance artist in LA decided standing out front of a Trader Joe’s wearing a bikini made entirely of face masks was the perfect way to protest the coronavirus lockdown. The Free Press Journal has the eye bleach primed photos if you just have to see them. The face mask wearing ding dong wrote in a Fakebook post that she believes coronavirus is a hoax created to erode freedoms, forcing people to wear masks in public and some other wackadoodle notions. And like with everyone else these days there is outrage over her stunt, with people responding to her Fakebook post of the event over her misuse of personal protective equipment and others calling her a “Karen.” Honestly, when did calling a white woman a “Karen” become an acceptable racial slur? Where’s the outrage over that? Panty face masks are now a thing.  Maybe “Karen” should have sent a woman in Ukraine an extra face mask or two. The Daily Star reports that a woman in Kiev, when told she would not be waited on at a business unless she was wearing a face mask, proceed to drop her pants, whipped off her undies and put said panties over her punim and of course then proceeded to use them as a face mask. Talk about getting your knickers in a twist.  Larry King still alive You know Joe Rogan I can understand getting a multi-million dollar contract, but Larry King?! It seems Larry King just inked a five million dollar podcast deal. I’ll bet most people thought he was already dead and anyone under forty, their response would undoubtedly be “Larry who.” According to Variety, The hour-long podcast will feature guests from pop culture, sports, music and comedy. The guy must have pictures of someone or something. Five million bucks? Sources say the name of the new podcast is, The Millionth Question. There is no truth to the rumor that “The Ninth Divorce” was also in the running. 

A look back at the top stories covered this week on the *award winning Overnight Underground News Podcast. Sponsored by the The American Society of Vapid Flatulence. With your host, John Ford. (*winner of the podcast least likely to win an award, award)

The Overnight Underground News Podcast and some things to know today: Trump will order flags to fly at half mast over covid-19. Caesars Palace and the Flamingo will be the first casinos to open in Vegas. China jockeys for total Hong Kong makeover, ah takeover. A Pakistani airliner has crashed killing at least a hundred and the man who filmed the Ahmaud Arbery shooting is arrested for murder. It’s the Overnight Underground News, and I’m John Ford.   Trump and Michigan AG go at it The President and the Michigan Attorney General are trading verbal blows over Trump’s decision not to wear a mask. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel played the Trump card and made numerous scathing Twitter posts overnight calling Trump a "petulant child." What’s alit all about? Trump not wearing a face mask at a Ford assembly plant. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel on CNN.  Trump's response? He fired back in a tweet calling Nessel a, quote: “"Do nothing A.G. of the Great State of Michigan.” Honestly, I think they both sound like petulant children. Such is the state on the American political stage in the year of our lord, two thousand and twenty.  Trump definitely maybe on his tests   Let’s slide this little item in, the sound byte of the day. It’s none other than your President and mine, Bullwinkle J Trump responding to a reporter's question about his controversial hydroxychloroquine treatment to ward off COVID-19. The President said this: Yea, I believe that’s a definite maybe. Could it be that during the test the nose swab rammed a little too far up the Presidential snoot and caused some more brain damage to the ol’ executive noodle. Just sayin’.  But wait, we’ve also got another contender for the sound byte of the day, and it’s from none other than presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden.  Biden told African American radio host “Charlamagne tha God” on a Friday morning interview that if someone is having difficulty choosing between him and Trump then they "ain't black." You know, I think that one is better than this one from the other day. It’s a total race to the bottom with these two. Honestly, I think  Churches essential Friday President Trump played to his religious electorate and announced that his administration will deem “houses of worship” as essential businesses. The President went on to call out some Governors who have deemed liquor stores and abortion clinics as essential but still won’t allow churches to reopen. Hey, what about A-A meetings at the church, is that OK? Mark Cuban calls Trump and Biden technologically illiterate Rich guy Mark Cuban said pretty much the same thing to Sean Hannity the other night, that both Trump and Biden are bad choices for leader of the free world. What’s that all about? Cuban told CNBC he hasn’t ruled out an independent run for the White House in 2020. He went on to say that he believes both Biden and Trump are, quote: “technologically illiterate,” whatever that means. Unfortunately these days, technologically literate means knowing how to like on fakebook and retweet a cat video. One thing we know for sure is that Trump knows how to be the Twatter in chief and Biden... well, poor Uncle Joe is still movin’ kinda’ slow with his functions. We hear Biden still has trouble finding the “any” key and totally believes the slide out CD tray is indeed a cup holder. Boiled babies, yum! Just how far will some journalists go to double down just to make sure Trump doesn’t get reelected in November? Over at The Nation, journo Katha Pollitt seems to have the answer. Pollitt remarked in an article discussing the Joe Biden and Tara Reed scandal, that she would vote for good ol’ Uncle Joe even if he, quote: “boiled babies and ate them.” Maybe in next month’s issue, The Nation will print a good recipe.  China parks death star over Hong Kong First they infect the planet with their bat munchin’ pandemic, now the Chinese are set to use coronavirus to end Hong Kong as we know it. Remember the good old days and the  pro-democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong? The Chinese want everyone to forget they every happened and have crammed their new draconian “security law” down the throat of the Hong Kong electorate. This new law bypasses Hong Kong's legislature by instituting a rarely used constitutional backdoor. (come on squeal) That is not actual audio from the Chinese oligarchy giving the good citizens of Hong Kong a good reaming, but it might as well be. Opposition lawmaker Dennis Kwok in Hong Kong. Look for the end of an open internet, Chinese secret police setting up shop in Hong Kong and anti-sedition laws to jail anyone who criticizes their Beijing overlords. Outside of a classical liberal democratic miracle, it looks like the party’s over in Hong Kong. No, I think I’m saying they are totalitarian kleptocratic bastards. More murder charges in Arbery case The Georgia man who filmed the shooting and death of Ahmaud Arbery has himself been arrested on murder charges. USA Today reports, William “Roddie” Bryan was charged with felony murder and criminal attempt to commit false imprisonment in Arbery’s shooting death. Bryan, had claimed he was only being a ‘good samaritan’ when he filmed Arbery’s death, but a newly released expanded version of the video apparently shows Bryan also chasing Arbery. Bryan then allegedly filmed while Arbery was shot dead. San Francisco oldest gay bar has shuttered Things are a little less fabulous in San Francisco today. The city’s oldest gay bar “The Stud” is calling it a day. The bar owner told KRON TV that due to declining revenues caused by coronavirus, they’ve decided to permanently close down their location in the Soma neighborhood.​ Too bad the place had to go down, I hear that before the pandemic, it was usually packed. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Unemployment is up again. Pelosi requests Trump go half mast. The latest trend in women’s panties and a glorious Florida man fight at Home Depot.  Coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Jobless claims rise again Well, here we go again. Another week, another jobless claim report from Uncle Sugar. Filings for unemployment insurance totaled just under two and a half million last week, that brings the total jobless filings during the coronavirus pandemic to around thirty eight and a half million. Although this won’t make the two and a half million who were handed their walking papers feel any better, this week's claims were slightly smaller than predicted by the economic brain trust. It’s starting to look like next time grandpa lectures you on how hard they had it during the Great Depression, you may soon have the dispensation to officially call him a pussy. New York City gets traffic! Here’s one small inkling that life might be getting back to some semblance of normalcy in New York City. This morning traffic into the Lincoln Tunnel was backed up for about an hour coming in from Jersey. Next week, the City will undoubtedly experience two hour delays in hospital emergency rooms.  The Hamptons’ millionaire squatters I don’t think it’s supposed to work this way. New York has a non-eviction order in place due to the coronavirus crisis, which is great news for folks who lost their jobs and can’t make the rent. Maybe not so great for landlords, but that’s another story. Anyway, in the Hamptons, wealthy tenants in multi-million dollar mansions are using the law to squat and not pay rent in their seaside homes.  The Daily Mail reports New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s moratorium on rent payments will last through mid August. By then the Long Island summer rental market will be just about over.  Flags at half mast? Today’s big political attention whore move has reached Spinal Tap like levels (goes to 11). Pelosi and Schumer are requesting Trump to fly flags at half mast when the death toll from the pandemic reaches one hundred thousand in the US. Talking Points Memo reports the pandemic  duo sent the letter to his royal orangutan on Thursday requesting the move. Come on, Trump hasn’t flown anything over half mast since Marla Maples.  Texas active shooter With everyone locked indoors, we haven’t seen many active shooter stories in the news. That changed today, with one at a naval base in Corpus Christi, Texas. The US Navy Tweeted, yea even the mighty Navy has a fracking Twatter account, that an active shooter near Naval Air Station Corpus Christi has been neutralized. Numerous sources report that one security worker was injured in the incident and word is that  sailor is in good condition and is expected to be released later today.  Home Depot paint fight   What’s better than a food fight? How about a paint fight! Four men at a Tampa Home Depot got into an altercation, over, well who the hell knows, it’s Florida after all. From the video, it’s hard to make out just what the men were fighting over, as they don’t appear to be speaking the English, but man let me tell you, the paint was flying. Maybe they were arguing over whether their paints should be shaken or stirred. That video, of course, available on today’s overnight underground dot com. Where is Doctor Fauchi? Paging Doctor Fauchi, where the hell are you. If you’re still watching one of the endlessly depressing news channels, you may be asking yourself, how did I get here. No, the real question is, where did Doctor Fauchi disappear to? CNN reports that Fauci  has been MIA from national television interviews over the last couple of weeks. His last interview was on May fourth with Chris Cuomo. Speculation is that with the White House’s communications team changing its PR strategy for the pandemic, Fauchi has been put on the back burner.  Maybe he’s been busy designing women’s panties. Business Insider reports that an L-A based company is now selling women’s underwear emboldened with the names of Fauchi, Governor Cuomo and Gavin Newsom. According to Canva, that’s the company cashing in on those three sexy fellas, the panties are selling like hotcakes. You know, I’ve always wondered, just where is it that hotcakes sell so well. Not anywhere around here. Anyway, the names of the three amigos are displayed on the front of the panties just above the. I’m thinking it should be plastered over the. Victoria’s Secret going down In other underwear related news, Victoria's Secret looks like it’s going bust. KIRO Seven News reports the skimpy clothing chain is closing nearly two hundred and fifty stores nationwide. The Parent company L Brands also announced the shuttering of fifty Bath and Bodyworks stores. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: The never ending pandemic. The Black Panthers protest kung pow chicken. Death sentence by video chat and Joe Rogan is fracking rich. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Military says the pandemic may last until next summer Who’s up for the pandemic lasting until next summer! Yea, I didn’t think so. The Website Task and Purpose have allegedly uncovered a leaked Pentagon memo that warns of a, quote: 'real possibility' of COVID-19 resurgence and the very real possibility of a vaccine not being available until the summer of 2021.  Army researchers have targeted a twelve to eighteen month timeframe for vaccine availability, but some experts say even that might not be enough. Pandemic worst case scenario  And the hits just keep on coming. A report from the University Of Pennsylvania's Wharton School is pretty scary. Their model predicts COVID-19 cases will reach just under five and a half million with a death toll close to three hundred thousand by the end of July. Just for the record, this ominous model is based on all states fully reopening without any social distancing measures. So just stay the hell away from each other would you. Currently there are more than one and a half million cases and over ninety two thousand deaths across the US. Trump sees quick economic turnaround The White House on the other hand, is presently predicting a swift economic recovery, though some experts think the West Wing might just be on the dope. Reported in the Houston Chronicle, the Trump administration is conveying confidence that  "reopening" states will counter the economic damage caused Covid-19. Despite the shocking  increases in unemployment and small business closings, White House economists are crossing their fingers and rubbing their elephants, wait can I say that?  that the economy will roar back to life in the second half of this year.  Those damn racist Chinese restaurants.  Well this seems kind of stupid. The New Black Panther Party staged a demonstration in DC on Tuesday protesting what they say is China’s racist treatment of Africans during the coronavirus pandemic. That seems OK. The stupid part, they decided a Chinese takeout restaurant called Yum’s was the perfect spot to stage their protest. Mother Jones writer Stephanie Mencimer caught the picket and posted their protestation on Twitter. Here’s an edited bit of their demonstration, at least the part we could hear and possibly decipher. According to Mencimer, the restaurant, Yum’s is a, quote: “beloved DC institution, and home of the city's signature dish: chicken wings and MAMBO sauce.” You know, you just can’t make this shit up. Death by videoconference Just imagine, receiving a death sentence via video chat. In what may be only the second time in history, Singapore’s Supreme Court sentenced a man to death over a Zoom video chat. Nine News Australia reports that a 37-year-old Malaysian national was sentenced to death by hanging for allegedly introducing two drug dealers to each other back in 2011. Wait a second, I think that’s the real story here, he was sentenced to death for making an introduction. And here in the US, we thought getting fired over Zoom was pretty harsh.  Rioting in France continues Oh those wacky youth are back at it again in France, rioting and burning and such. Reuters reports Youths set cars alight in low-income housing estates in the Paris suburbs overnight. This latest round of mayhem is being attributed to the death of Sabri Choubi, an 18-year old who died last weekend in a motorcycle accident. Well that makes sense.  Joe Rogan is rich Holy contract on a cracker batman, Marketwatch is reporting that Joe Rogan’s deal with Spotify will net the podcaster a cool one hundred million bucks. Needless to say, it’s quite possibly the most expensive deal in the podcasting space. And here at the Overnight Underground, we’re happier than a pig in shit if someone just clicks the “buy me a coffee” link at overnightunderground dot com to send us five samolians. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump is on drugs. Pelosi calls Trump a fattie. Invading Canadians taunt Biden. The government is gearing up for civil unrest. Trial by Zoom and the German’s are revolting. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Trump is on drugs Though not insightful or beneficial for any of the world's current troubles, we do have some mildly entertaining political drama going on today. First, President Trump told reporters during yesterday’s press conference that he has been taking the controversial drug hydroxychloroquine as a prophylactic against Covid-19. The press corps was aghast as Trump himself announced to the nation his use of the drug he believes will help ward off the virus. Trump’s opponents quickly jumped on the news with warnings that the drug’s use could cause serious heart trouble and other complications. Honestly, I don’t know why this is a problem for certain rabid sects of the Democratic party, seems to me they’ve been calling for Trump’s death since he entered office.  PresidentPlump Nancy Pelosi jumped on the President's use of hydroxychloroquine on Monday’s Anderson Cooper segment on CNN. The Speaker of the House used the air-time on the cable network to essentially call Trump a fat bastard. The press corps is currently salivating like Pavlov’s dog in anticipation of  the Presidential sh*t storm that is sure to follow. Still, fans of the President know he’s not obese, he’s just got big bone spurs.  Trump targets WHO The President also threatened to completely defund the World Health Organization in an overnight Tweet. Trump warned he was considering dumping the W-H-O funding within thirty days if it does not, quote: “commit to major substantive improvements.” The pudgy orange one continues to accuse the W-H-O of being too soft on China.  Biden ducks Let’s see, what else we got here in the circus that is American politics. On Monday, Joe Biden moved out of his basement for his latest virtual town hall digital disaster. He decided to let the sunshine and fresh air in from his vestibule while he chattered at the American public. The only problem was, invading Canadian’s were very vocal with Biden’s streaming appearance.  Man, ol’ touchy feely Uncle Joe just can’t catch a break.  Government prepares for civil unrest It seems the US government has been preparing for domestic war. The Intercept is reporting that Uncle Sam has been busy ratcheting up security and spending to counter possible civil unrest during the coronavirus pandemic. The purchases include contracts for riot gear such as disposable handcuffs, gas masks, ballistic helmets, and riot gloves, along with protective equipment for federal police. Sounds reasonable, nothing to see here.  The Germans are revolting Speaking of unrest, it seems the German’s are revolting. The Daily Mail is reporting that Teutonic fury is being unleashed in Germany over lockdowns in that country. Thousands of protesters rallied in Stuttgart, Munich and Berlin to protest against Merkel and what some conspiracy theorists see as a plot by Bill Gates to vaccinate the masses. You know, you just can’t make this shit up. German police arrested protesters outside the Reichstag in Berlin. Please, just don’t start any fires, we all know how that turned out last time.  Trial by Zoom This next story should work out well. In Texas, they’re getting ready for their first Zoom trial. Reuters reports a Texas court is getting set to let jurors hear a case remotely using Zoom. The Collin County District Court on Monday picked a jury to hear the insurance dispute case by videoconference. The one-day trial is a summary jury trial, where jurors hear a condensed version of a case and deliver a non-binding verdict. The jury selection was live streamed over YouTube. Gee, what could possibly go wrong?  Chinese are facing new lockdowns Bloomberg News is reporting that China may be getting ready to lockdown cities in the north east of the country again. One hundred million Chinese are facing lockdowns for a second time  as a new and expanding cluster of coronavirus infections are again plaguing the region. Cities in the Jilin province have stopped train and bus service, shut schools and quarantined tens of thousands of people. Needless to say, the Chinese living in these areas are not happy.  Stupid is as stupid does There has been quite a spike in the moronic behavior index over the last few days. In Volusia County, Florida, the Sheriff’s Office had to break up a block party that numbered in the thousands. WFTV News reports police noted there were multiple arrests and numerous deputies were injured in altercations attempting to break up the melee.  I say, why not hide your identity with a watermelon? That was the cunning plan hatched by two thieves in Charlottesville, Virginia. The Smoking Gun notes the two lads decided wearing hollowed-out watermelon rinds on their heads was the perfect disguise for stealing alcohol from a Virginia convenience store. Guy’s you’ve got it bass akwards, you put the booze in the watermelon, not your noggin you numbskulls. In England all this lockdown was too much for one man in Devon. The Sun reports that when  the cops entered the man's flat to bust him on drug charges, the unlucky lad scrambled to the roof of his apartment, completely nude, clutching his baggie of cannabis. The police were able to convince the man to later give himself up after they sealed off all of his escape routes from the roof. You know, naked in a fetal position rocking back and forth on your roof surrounded by police and cradling a bag of weed may not be the best way to go through life, son. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Big gains on the Dow. White House wags its finger. Michigan’s squirt gun priest and your cat is a stone cold killer. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Big gains on the Dow The Dow is kicking ass and taking names today, with US markets up over nine hundred points mid-day. CNBC reports the gains are due to the news that possible vaccines could be on the way for coronavirus. Massachusetts based Moderna has gone on record that early results from their Covid-19 trial vaccines are showing promise. All forty five participants in the trials developed antibodies against the virus.  Needless to say, Moderna’s stock price has also been a gainer today, up around forty percent. Can anyone say pump and dump?  White House pointy little finger The Trump White House is now pointing fingers at the CDC for failings in the battle against coronavirus. CNN reports that the finger wagging coming from the administration is squarely aimed as an rationalism  for the Covid-19 death toll.  White House Trade Advisor Peter Navarro on CNN. Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar also proposed yesterday that underlying health conditions was one reason for the lofty American death toll. Communion squirt gun The power of the squirt gun compels you. A priest at Saint Andrews Parish in Grosse Pointe, Michigan not only got into the spirit of the drive by church service, Father Tim Pelc took it a step further. NBC’s Today and other outlets are reporting that the priest, during holy week a little over a month ago, used a squirt gun to bless parishioners with holy water. (squirt squirt) Pelc said, quote: “"You can't double dip into the holy water container. I thought, what could I do that would keep the quarantine restrictions going and give kids the experience of Easter?" Undoubtedly not the first time a priest gave the kids the old  Enquiring Minds soon won't know We’re not quite sure how you are going to survive this next story, but The Daily Beast is reporting, that bastion of journalism, The National Enquirer, is about to shit the bed. How will we ever find out about UFO’s, Aliens and Obama, Elvis, Michael Jackson and OJ’s shoes if the Enquirer goes out of business?  Your cat is a murderer Your cat is a cold blooded killer. A new Australian study, as reported by LAD Bible, housecats who strut their stuff outside of the home, are stone cold killers. The study, published in Wildlife Research, notes that a single domesticated pet cat is capable of snuffing the lives of up to 186 reptiles, birds and mammals in just one year. Dalmer would have been envious.  In the lifetime of a cat, that’s over eight thousand victims snuffed out by your adorable little serial killer. Honestly, cat’s should be categorized as biological weapons and controlled by the Geneva Convention.  Hey what happen' to Fred Willard Comedic intellect Fred Willard died over the weekend. Maybe most known these days for his role in the sitcom Modern Family, Willard was also known for his many roles in the mocumentaries of Christopher Guest, including Best in Show, A Mighty Wind and Waiting for Guffman.  Willard was eighty six. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Retail sales are in the crapper. The Michigan legislature shuts down. Wisconsin opens up, Denver gets its own KKK shopper. A new nominee for the worst movie ever and a new irritating Chinese ice cream flavor debuts in Hong Kong.  These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Retail sales plunge Yesterday we saw the latest jobs report and it wasn’t pretty. The retail sales numbers released today don’t look much better.  CNBC reports retail sales dropped nearly sixteen and a half percent in April, which is far worse than was predicted. Clothing sales were hit with the biggest downturns. Hey, it’s not like you need new clothes, you're not going anywhere and no one sees you anyhow. Retail sales declines were also seen in restaurants and service stations along with retailers that have been deemed non-essential. Grocery stores were one of the few retail establishments that saw an uptick in sales. Hey, people gotta eat and of course let’s not forget about all that toilet paper you bought either.  Homelessness could spike Ready for some more good news?  CNN Business now reports that the picture for low income workers is especially bleak. Nearly forty percent of those with a household income below forty thousand dollars a year reported a job loss in March. Another study conducted by a Columbia University professor, notes that homelessness in the US could reach as high as forty five percent within a year. The professor who conducted the analysis, Dan O’Flaherty, says the downturn is exacerbating homelessness which is already a public health crisis in many American cities. O’Flaherty notes, quote: “This is unprecedented. No one living has seen an increase of ten percent of unemployment in a month.”  Except maybe for those who got fired, and are currently seeing one hundred percent unemployment.  Michigan shuts down legislature Fed up with the protesters, Michigan lawmakers have decided to suspend their legislative session rather than face the possibility of continued armed protests. Bloomberg reports that  protests have been squarely aimed at Democratic Governor Gretchen Whitmer, who allegedly has received death threats since the protest began. Protesters are angered over the Governors controversial lock-down in the state. Lansing lawmakers had been fearing a repeat of the April 30th dissent, when armed protesters entered the Senate Chamber. The protests on Thursday saw much smaller crowds due to rain in the Capitol. Giving birth to the phrase, “Give me liberty or give me death. Unless it’s raining.”  Bars open up in Wisconsin Across the lake in Wisconsin, things were opening up after that state's supreme court tossed their Governors stay at home orders. Quite a few Wisconsiners dashed from their homes and headed to the bars for a quick Schlitz. One patron at a bar in Milwaukee told Reuters news: Wait, does this mean he likes to schwing?  Denver gets a KKK shopper Another day another guy shopping in a KKK hood. Fox thirty one Denver reports that this time the pointy headed masked shopper was spotted and of course photographed at the City Market in the Denver suburb of Dillon. The police have stated that they are asking for the public’s help identifying a man. The director of communications for the Town of Dillon, told the press, quote: “Right now, they’re trying to identify him, contact him and take it from there. Obviously, we take this kind of action very seriously.”  Biden mumbles again It’s time once again for our sound byte of the day. Today’s winner comes from presumptive democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, during his latest virtual roundtable. Just for the record, and leaving all the mumbling and other gaffes aside, there have been thirty six and a half million unemployed in the last two months. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, our choice as leader of the free world is to pick either this doddering old fool or a reality show barker with delusions of adequacy? If that doesn’t convince you that the game is rigged, nothing ever will.  Tear gas ice cream Oh those wacky Chinese. The AP is reporting an ice cream shop in Hong Kong has a new flavor that’s turned out to be a hit with patrons, it’s tear gas flavor. The main ingredient in the new confection is black peppercorns, to give Hong Konger's that ol’ time memory of the peppery tear gas rounds fired by police during demonstrations last year. One customer explained the flavor as, quote: “It tastes like tear gas. It feels difficult to breathe at first, and it’s really pungent and irritating.” I don’t know about you, but that’s not what I look for in an ice cream flavor. What’s next, Covid-19 flavor? It tastes like a musky face mask, makes it hard to catch your breath and it’s only available for takeout.  Worst movie evar Cats is now officially the worst movie ever made. That’s according to the man who wrote what previously was considered the worst movie ever made, Battlefield Earth  Writer J.D. Shapiro tells The New York Post, quote: “I watched about 10 or 15 minutes of ‘Cats,’ and unfortunately, it might beat out ‘Battlefield Earth. To regular people, ‘Cats’ was f - - king disturbing.” Great, now we just gotta’ wait for Hollywood to make Battlefield Cats. You know, I wouldn’t put it past those idiots.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, first the headlines: Unemployment rises. Michigan readies for more protests. Burr under investigation. Is mouthwash the next Covid placebo and Gretta Thunberg joins a panel of covid experts on CNN. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Unemployment spikes again Another week, more brutal unemployment numbers. Last week saw another three million file for unemployment, bringing the total to a whopping thirty six and a half million in the last two months. Yesterday, Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell painted a rather foreboding picture of the economy, Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell sounding like he’s ready to take a leisurely stroll down to the east river and jump off the Brooklyn bridge. But Powell wasn’t all death and destruction, he still believes the economic turnaround will come and that the Fed will do all it can to help. I guess we need more bailouts for those in need, like lobbyists and our corporate overlords. The Doctor of Doom Doctor Richard Bright, the man who has become affectionately known as the Doctor of Doom, is warning the US and the world that we are in for “deep sh*t.” Doctor Richard Bright responding to the country being unprepared during the coronavirus pandemic.  Well isn’t he just all sweetness and light. Doctor Bright later went on to say, “I believe we could have done better. believe there were critical steps that we did not take in time.” President Trump has called Doctor Bright, a vaccine expert who led a biodefense agency in the Department of Health and Human Services, essentially a disgruntled employee.  Armed Michigan protesters return to Lansing Those armed Michigan protesters will be at it again in the states capitol today. Reuters is reporting that there will be a large police presence in Lansing as protesters challenge Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer's stay-at-home order. With one of the strictest stay at home orders in the nation, the Governor has extended what the protesters see as a draconian law, until at least May twenty eighth. Gretchen Whitmer on CNN. I do believe the Michigan Governor just invoked Goodwin's law.  Wisconsin Supreme court shuts down stay at home order  Meanwhile just across the lake in Wisconsin, the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down their Governors stay-at-home order. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that this would be the first time a statewide order like this has been tossed by a court of last resort.  The overturning of the lock-down was passed by a four to three decision and was written by four of the court’s conservatives. Justice Rebecca Bradley compared the social distancing rule to Japanese being interned in concentration camps in world war two. I think we need a new kind of Goodwin's law, except it’s pit in play when anyone brings up Japanese internment camps. Personally, I think the entire state should be placed under house arrest immediately and indefinitely and hey, why the hell not,  let’s do it all without due process.  Burr has phone snatched by Feds Senator Richard Burr, the North Carolina Republican who chairs the Senate Intelligence Committee, is under investigation for insider trading. The New York Post reports Burr was forced to hand over his smart phone to the feds. He’s under suspicion of insider trading that allegedly took place ahead of the  market crash at the start of the coronavirus crisis. Burr had sold off roughly one point seven  million dollars in publicly traded stocks. He was among a handful of lawmakers who received confidential briefings on the virus from health officials.  Mouthwash and covid The next wacky thing you can do to help stop the spread of coronavirus? Let’s spin the wheel o quackery. If you picked mouthwash, step right up and spit in the cup. According to an article on Yahoo and a few other sources, oral rinses may damage the virus's protective membrane and at least some scientists are calling for an immediate study of the effects on covid from mouthwash. The World Health Organization has gone on record saying that there is not evidence that mouthwash inhibits coronavirus. Next up, look for idiots to make Listerine the next massive shortage right behind toilet paper in the grocery store. Bleach, cigarettes, lights inside your nose and now mouthwash. What will they think of next? This article was brought to you courtesy of  'The Mouthwash Manufacturers of ‘Mercia'. Greta now a coronavirus expert Twitter users went absolutely apoplectic on Wednesday over the appointment of Gretta Thunberg to CNN’s expert coronavirus panel. Well it should be. Ya gotta’ wonder, at seventeen how could the climate and environmental activist from Sweden be an expert at anything, other than maybe navel gazing. How the hell did she become an expert on virology? Has she even finished high school? Dear Gretta has as much insight and  depth into coronavirus as a puddle. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, first the headlines: Howard Stern says Trump should quit. Hey I know, let’s shove lightbulbs up our noses. The DOD needs more needles. The hooded shopper is not guilty and cheap movies may make a comeback. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   White House adviser and Trump crotch fruit main squeeze Jared Kushner hinted the other day that there may not be an election in November. The Washington Post and other sources report that Kushner suggested, there was uncertainty about whether the presidential election would happen in November because of this whole global pandemic thing. The presidential aide later clarified his comments a bit in a Time Magazine interview. Just to clarify  Stern calls for Trump to quit The one time king of all media has called on President Trump to step down. That’s Howard Stern on his satellite radio show. The previously relevant radio star went on to say that it would be "extremely patriotic" for Mister Trump to step down. Wait, wasn’t Howard Stern one of the celebrities who went out of his way to popularize and normalize Trump? Now he’s trying to “cleanse” himself from the smoldering runaway train-wreck that has become the Trump Presidency? Besides, who ever looked to Stern as a voice of reason? Lesbian dial a date and butt bongo fiesta maybe, but logic and reason?  Shove lights up your nose I know, let’s treat coronavirus but shoving lightbulbs up you nose. Wait, isn’t this the same idea Trump got called on the carpet for by the press?  NBC Chicago reports the Canadian-company behind the technology, says their steriwave technology could stop the spread of the coronavirus by eliminating the viral load in your nose. According to them, the coronavirus tends to colonize in the nose, so the process involves swabbing the nose with a chemical compound. A technician then inserts fiber optic probes into the nose and turns on a red light. Wait, you don’t have to turn on the red light. Here’s Dr. Merrill Biel from the University of Minnesota.  DOD needs more injectors There’s no vaccine for Covid-19, but that won’t stop the government from spending millions on injection devices. A press release on the Department of Defense website announced a one hundred and thirty eight million dollar contract to fund production of five hundred million pre filled COVID-19 vaccine “injection devices.” The contract went to ApiJect Systems America for two projects known as “Project Jumpstart” and “RAPID USA”.  The apparent goal of these two  projects is to have vast amounts of “injection devices” ready to go, if and when a COVID-19 vaccine becomes available. ( The blue plate big brother special Well this is kinda’ creepy. The Seattle Times is reporting that when restaurants open in Washington state, they will have to keep a log of customers for coronavirus contact tracing. Nothing like going out to dinner and being asked for your papers. The governor’s office released a set of requirements that restaurants will have to comply with if they want a blessing from big brother to reopen for dine-in service. The restaurants will have to, quote:  “Create a daily log of customers and maintain that daily log for 30 days, including telephone/email contact information, and time in.”  Wearing a hood to shop is not a crime Last week a man in a KKK hood sent shockwaves of offense through the Southern California community of Santee calling for the full extent of the law to be leveled at the hooded shopper. The San Diego County Sheriff's Department earlier this week issued a press release saying they had no legal grounds to charge the man.The man was interrogated and later detectives conferred with both the U.S. Attorney's Office and the San Diego County District Attorney's Office and came to the obvious conclusion that no law was broken.  The press release basically points out what was already blatantly obvious to legal half-wits everywhere, that the U.S. Supreme Court and the Constitution spell out the fact that freedom of speech means hateful speech is still protected speech. Gee I wonder how much money they spent investigating what they already knew wasn’t a crime to begin with in the first place. Cheap movies may return This makes sense. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that movie theaters are considering offering two dollar moves when they reopen. Due to the pandemic, there’s not a lot of new movies coming out that can get folks back in the theaters, so some cinemas plan to reopen with classic films at classic prices. The films will include “Jaws” and “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”, how the hell is that classic, anyway the move is to tempt cautious audiences back into cinemas. I’ll pay two bucks to see a classic Hitchcock movie in a theatre any day of the week. Anything is better than Batman twelve, revenge of the stinky cave. Valerie Bertanelli almost ready for Social Security Wholy shit, you want to really feel old? Valerie Bertanelli turned sixty this month. If you don’t know who Valerie Bertanelli is, 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: The White House dons masks. Pence distances from Trump.  Elon Musk reopens his Tesla factory. Cheese is a patriotic duty. Bryan Adams does not apologize and strip clubs can get pandemic business loans. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   The White House is making it mandatory that everyone wear a mask that works in the West Wing, everyone except the President and Vice President that is. They’re exempt. The mask move comes following the infection of two White House staffers, including Trump’s personal valet who brought the President Diet Cokes to the Oval Office. Maybe Trump  just likes saying, get me some coke. Pence distances from Trump CNN is reporting that Vice President Pence is, quote, “maintaining distance' from Trump 'for the immediate future”. No it’s not because the President isn’t his bestie or cause he smells too much like borscht, he’s keeping his distance due to coronavirus fears in the White House, well, at least that’s what they’re telling us. CNN further notes that It is not completely clear exactly how long Pence will stay away from The President. Trump battles with reporters Monday saw the return of the coronavirus press conference to the rose garden, and President Trump took time to answer some questions from the press and of course, fling a few zingers at his press corps nemesis. First, this question and answer carefully and precisely explaining the Obamagate scandal. Later in the press conference, one reporter asked why Trump sees testing as a global competition when people are losing their lives every day, the President said. At that point the President left the podium, took his ball and went back home to the White House. No school this fall says Fauchi If you’ve been hoping to get rid of your little bastards and get them back into the classroom, you may be shit out of luck. Doctor Fauchi said on Tuesday in a Senate committee hearing that having a vaccine before the opening of the school year would be, quote:  "a bit of a bridge too far”  Doctor Fauchi responding to Senator Lamar Alexander on the reopening of schools in the fall. So it looks like homeschooling for the foreseeable future for you bunky. I wonder if homeowners will get tax refunds on their property taxes if schools won’t be open. Fauchi also warned the nation against 'prematurely' opening U.S. states and that doing so could lead to additional outbreaks of the deadly coronavirus. Tesla reopens factory Tesla’s Elon Musk has reopened his factory in California defying authorities in Alameda County. This follows a couple of days of insults, slings and arrows flying on Twitter between himself and California government officials. Assembly woman Lorena Gonzalez, a Democrat from San Diego, Tweeted on Saturday, “F*ck Elon Musk.”  Musk then threatened to move his Tesla factory out of the state to Texas or New Mexico. The restarting of the Factory is his latest tantrum,  defying California authorities, which he has compared to fascists. Musk Tweeted referring to the opening of the factory, : "I will be on the line with everyone else. If anyone is arrested, I ask that it only be me." Grocery prices jumping It’s not just you, prices for groceries have seen their largest one month increase in nearly half a century. CNBC is reporting that the Labor Department notes that prices for groceries jumped two point six percent last month, that is the largest one-month jump since 1974. The cost of meats, poultry, fish and eggs rose over four percent, fruits and veggies rose one and a half percent, cereals and bakery products advanced just under three percent. On the other hand, prices for nearly everything else dropped sharply in April. Total consumer prices slid almost a full percent in April from the previous month, led by massive declines in energy prices. So driving to the grocery store is much cheaper, but once you get there you won’t be able to afford anything. Robots are coming to steal our jobs Well you knew this was coming. A new paper from economists at the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco claims the pandemic will hasten the move to automate more jobs. Bloomberg reports that the researchers write in their paper “Can Pandemic-Induced Job Uncertainty Stimulate Automation?”, that automation of some of the jobs formerly held by humans could fuel an increase in labor productivity. The researchers argue that “Absent the automation channel, an uncertainty shock would lead to a much deeper recession, with a sharper increase in unemployment.” Sounds logical, we need to get rid of jobs and replace them with automation so we don’t have more job losses. Brilliant.  The French patriotic duty In France, the French dairy industry is asking its citizens to do their patriotic duty and eat more cheese. Sales of certain kinds of cheese have fallen over sixty percent, and well, that just won’t do in France. According to that bastion of journalistic integrity, the New York Post, the dairy industry is calling on citizens “to eat cheese in solidarity with our producers.” I don’t know about you, but I’m with the French on this one, I’m totally bound up in total solidarity with cheese.  Bryan Adams blows top Canadian pop-rocker Brian Adams isn’t holding back on how he feels about the Chinese and their role in the coronavirus pandemic. According to The Guardian, Adams launched into an expletive laced rant on his Instagram post. Adams said, quote: “but thanks to some fucking bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus. My message to them other than “thanks a fucking lot” is go vegan.” Adams was scheduled to start a concert residency at the Royal Albert Hall in London before the Covid outbreak. Strippers need loans too A US judge has ruled that strip clubs and other so-called  'disfavored' businesses are indeed  entitled to emergency loans during the pandemic.  Reuters reports that U.S. District Judge Matthew Leitman in Flint, Michigan, ruled that the U.S. Small Business Administration can’t exclude businesses that present live performances or sell products of a "prurient sexual nature" from loans under the Paycheck Protection Program. What’s next, hookers? Needless to say, the decision may be appealed. Meanwhile, The Sun reports that the Minx Gentlemen's Club in Virginia Beach is now offering drive through pole dancing. The strippers are not completely stripped, but clad in skimpy bikinis while customers drive-through the outdoor striper, ah strip. Customers either throw dollars out their window and one cunning dancer uses a trash picker to grab money from inside the customers cars. And here you thought your parents were nuts for putting on those clear plastic seat covers on their cars bench seats.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines: Obama and Trump sling mud. China and the WHO sling BS. Covid has eyes for you. Chicago keeps the rate up. Iran blows up its own warship and Alaska is having a beaver boom. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Former President Obama had a private conversation with his former staffers, which turned out to not be so private, seeing that everyone now knows about it. The talks were engaged specifically to help drum up support for Joe Biden’s campaign. With an election creeping closer and closer, Obama is taking off the gloves and starting to swing hard at Trump. During the call, Obama called the Trump administration’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic "an absolute chaotic disaster". Uncle Joe responded, of course, with something that sounded like this. The White House retorted that President Trump's "unprecedented" action had "saved Americans' lives" and later lambasted the Obama response to  swine flu during his administration. I say, lock them all in a room, and the enlightening confabulation between these two warring factions would sound something like this. Me, I’m voting for bullwinkle.  China and WHO collusion? And while everyone is pointing fingers at everyone else, a new report dug up by the German magazine of record Der Spiegel and reported now by numerous sources, says that China pressured the World Health Organization to delay a global coronavirus warning. The report cites intelligence from Germany’s federal intelligence service that Chinese President and all around great guy Winnie the Xi Jinping urged the WHO chief to “delay a global warning” about the pandemic, and holding back data on human-to-human transmission of coronavirus. Not to be outdone, the World Health Organization has called the allegations “unfounded and untrue.”  The eyes have it for Covid-19 Oh great, now they’re saying you can catch coronavirus through your eyes. The Daily Mail reports that scientists at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine found that Covid-19 can latch onto receptors in your eye balls. If Covid droplets land on your eye, the virus can begin running riot through your wretched and infected body.  Wait, does this mean we’ll have to start wearing eye patches along with face masks?  Shopping with Nazi’s Last week in Santee, California we had the man shopping at the grocery store with a KKK hood. This week, it’s a pair of shoppers with Nazi swastika on their masks shopping in the same California town. KUSI San Diego reports the couple were spotted and photographed by shoppers at the Food 4 Less in Santee. According to the article, Diego Sheriff’s deputies arrived and forced the shopper to remove the swastika from his mask. Look, these people are either idiots or attention whores, but wearing a swastika isn’t against the law. Honestly, you may not like it but what right do the police have to tell you what kind of sticker or tee-shirt you can wear or have on your car? Do they have the right to tell you you can’t wear a tee-shirt that says “f*ck Trump” or “the white man is the devil”? No. You may have to deal with the consequences of wearing such attire, but your right to wear it is your own damn business and my responsibility. But how is it people are allowed to walk around with this kind of offensive crap and not get arrested? I believe it has something to do with the first amendment of the US constitution. I know, you were offended.  Chicago keeps murder rate up The Covid-19 lockdown hasn’t stopped Chicago from keeping that stellar murder rate up. Yea, even though the streets are supposed to be barren, there’s still plenty of gun fire in the windy city. So much so that even the French have noticed.  France 24 is reporting that fifty six murders were committed last month, despite stay-at-home orders in the city, and just last weekend, four people were killed and forty six others were shot and wounded. On the West Side of the city, there’s not a lot of social distancing taking place, with crowds gathering on the streets to dance to the music and of course shoot each other. A senior research director at the University of Chicago Crime Lab is stating that most of the shootings and the subsequent murders have occurred outdoors and both shooters and victims have ignored stay-at-home orders.  Iran blows up own warship Worry over war with Iran has faded into the background with the advent of the global pandemic. Now it appears that the US and its allies probably have even less to worry about from the autocratic islamic state. It seems they are doing just fine waging war on themselves. Forbes and other sources are reporting that Iranian state media and the army say nineteen are dead in a friendly fire incident in the Sea of Oman. The Iranians were conducting live-fire exercises with anti-ship missiles when one of the missles slammed into one of their own warships. Well, at least they know their missiles work, command and control, not so much. Alaska booming with beaver Alaska is booming with beaver. Up in Northwest Alaska they are indeed experiencing a massive beaver boom. In the last couple of decades the Baldwin Peninsula has seen a massive increase in beavers, and that means more dams. To make a long story even longer, more dams mean big impacts on everything from fish populations to permafrost. University of Alaska Fairbanks researcher Ken Tape tells KOTZ radio that there are so damn many dams, you can actually see them from space. You heard that right, beavers in space. OK, that’s enough of that.  Little Richard dead  One of the last of the original rock and rollers had passed away over the weekend. Little Richard’s family have confirmed to Rolling Stone magazine that the eighty seven year old rocker has died. The cause of Richard’s death has not been released.  Jerry Stiller, father of Ben Stiller and husband of Anne Meara, with whom he formed the married comedic duo of Stiller and Meara, died over the weekend at the age of 92. Jerry Stiller may be best known these days as the frenetic father of Frank Costanza on the “Seinfeld” show.  Toilet frogs invading England In England residents of Derbyshire are being invaded by toilet frogs. Nope, it’s not a new species, at least we don’t think so, the frogs in question seem to be coming up through the pipes and are quite often, found doing the backstroke in the toilet. Yea, having to head the call of nature in the wee hours of the morning and having a slimy frog hop up and whack your rectum, I don’t think so. One resident told the Derbyshire Telegraph that she now has to, “stand and squat now." Still others are taking the latrine amphibians in stride. One retired pensioner said, "I saw two of them, one on the wall of the toilet, the other on the seat. I put them in a plastic container and took them into the garden." Thankfully, no one has croaked yet. 

A look back at the past week on The Overnight Underground Podcast and things you should know, things you might not know and quite assuredly, things you wish you had never heard. With your host, John Ford. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines: The national unemployment suicide continues. Biden’s virtual rally crashes. Kelly and Reade talk up creepy Biden. San Antonio goes all in for censorship and California to screen diners for coronavirus. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Unemployment skyrockets   The unemployment numbers are in, and they ain’t pretty. The unemployment rate is hovering under fifteen percent and twenty and one half million jobs evaporated in the month of April. All in all over one hundred million people are not in the labor force. The “real” unemployment rate, which includes workers not looking for jobs and the underemployed, surged to just under twenty three percent. All that bad news couldn’t stop the market from opening up Friday morning, surging over three hundred points. According to one alleged financial fortune teller at JP Morgan, it will take a decade for the employment numbers to return to pre-pandemic numbers. That’s JP Morgan’s Bob Michelle on Bloomberg.  Trump’s cunning plan So what’s our glorious el’ Presidente’ going to do to help with the current economic woes the US is currently experiencing? NBC News is reporting Mister Trump is considering, among other steps, pushing the tax deadline back again. Although administration officials stress that no decision has been made, the date for taxes due might be pushed back to September fifteenth or even as late as December first. Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden undoubtedly has a cunning plan too  Biden’s virtual disaster  Speaking of Biden, he had a virtual rally on-line on Thursday from Tampa Bay, and well, technically it didn’t go so well. The Stamford Advocate and other sources report that the streaming event was awkward and contained a number of glitches and blank screens. But that was just Joe, there were technical issues as well. But come one, cut the guy a break, he’s seventy seven and you expect him to know how to handle all those computerized doo dads,  blinkin’ lights and such?  South Africa hacked In South Africa, computer incontinence went a step further, when a streaming meeting of the National Assembly was hacked and attendees got an eyeful with pornographic images and insults hurled at National Assembly Speaker Thandi Modise. According to EWN News, the assembly was adjourned and technicians worked to fix the hacked Zoom meeting. Kelly talks to Biden accuser Reade In somewhat related news, former Fox News talking head Megan Kelly interviewed Joe Biden sexual assault accuser Tara Reade on the interneterwebertubes yesterday. The former cable bimbo, ah star beat out all the network and cable big-wigs landing the interview. Reade told Kelly she thinks Biden should drop out of the race. I’ll bet she asked him to withdraw years ago.  Georgia men arrested for murder The father and son who were caught on video allegedly hunting and then killing a man have been charged with murder. The video of the event created a social media meltdown in recent days and the Georgia Bureau of Investigation clamped the cuffs on the two at their home in Brunswick, Georgia, on Thursday.  Gregory and Travis McMichael were officially booked on charges of murder and aggravated assault.  San Antonio passes hate speech law The San Antonio City Council voted unanimously to approve a resolution labeling the term "Chinese virus" and “Kung Fu Flu” as hate speech. The council is encouraging the good folks of San Antonio to report that kinda’ hateful speech to authorities for investigation. You gotta’ wonder what the council is smoking down San Antone’ way. The Supreme Court has on numerous occasions struck down any semblance of hate speech laws in the US, citing the laws as being unconstitutional. In fact just two years ago, in  2017 Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote regarding Matal v. Tam: “ A law that can be directed against speech found offensive to some portion of the public can be turned against minority and dissenting views to the detriment of all. The First Amendment does not entrust that power to the government's benevolence. Instead, our reliance must be on the substantial safeguards of free and open discussion in a democratic society.” The San Antonio City Council are lawmakers, you would think they might have just a smattering of constitutional jurisprudence. What a bunch of morons, maybe they all have the kung fu flu. Cali to screen restaurant patrons California Governor Gavin Newsom says that restaurant workers will screen patrons  for Covid-19. Newsom said the full guidelines for sit-down dining would be released on May eleventh. Bui it does appear that restaurant employees will have to perform a detailed risk assessment of diners, as to what exactly those assessments are, who the hell knows. The web site Eater speculates that temperature checks and maybe a checklist of questions to ask patrons. Good god, it sounds like a TSA checkpoint. I guess it’s the obvious evolution of the security checkpoint theater air travelers have been dealing with for two decades and Cali is the perfect place to start with a population of more than willing chattel. I wonder if California will start forcing waiters to get medical degrees.  Queen guitarist hospitalized Queen guitarist Brian May is in the hospital, and it doesn’t have anything  to do with coronavirus. According to the Independent, the guitar shredder is laid up for ‘ripping his buttocks to shreds’, all this happened in a gardening accident. Oh, so that’s what they’re calling it how. The 72-year-old May says he was doing some over-enthusiastic gardening when the gory gluteus maximus shedding occurred. If only if he was a girl and had a fatter bottom, he might have avoided this mess all together. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:  Police using SWAT, pepper spray and knight sticks for social distancing. You won’t social distance, that’s a shooting. A Gun and knife fight battle winner in Florida. The Supreme Court flush and Trump’s butler did it.  These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Social distancing SWAT In the US, the lockdown is definitely taking a toll and driving people and that includes the police, totally and completely nuts. Case in point: In Odessa, Texas the sheriff sent in a SWAT team to clear a protest outside a bar. The Bar, Big Daddy Zanes, was open despite going against the Governors order for bars, gyms and salons to remain closed. Bar owner Gabrielle Ellison speaking to KLBC TV. You know, you got to be careful or you could get "tooken".  Cops rough up non-social distancers In New Jersey, Jersey City cops are under fire today for allegedly roughing up a group of black men for social distancing violations. Video has surfaced that shows a white cop repeatedly punching an African American man while another cop pins him to the ground. Police report six officers responded to a fight that involved somewhere in the neighborhood of a hundred people. Police used pepper spray and batons to break up the crowd and their heads. Social media finger pointers are saying the cops used excessive force to enforce social distancing and the PoPo is saying the cops used just  the right amount of force for the violent situation. Who you gonna believe?  Social distance? That’s a shooting All right, what’s next? In Oklahoma City on wednesday, two customers shot two McDonald's employees after being told to leave the restaurant due to coronavirus restrictions. CNN reports the perps got angry and started shootin’ when they were asked to leave due to the plague restrictions. Two suspects were apprehended after fleeing the scene. The Hamburgler could not be reached for comment.  Gun and knife fight winners Well, we may finally have the answer to who wins in the knife fight, gun fight challenge. Two Tampa Mensa members may have finally answered the question, unfortunately one of them is dead. It seems two men were role playing the gun vs knife fight scenario when the gun went off, killing the knife wielding man. That’s Tampa prosecutor Anthony Falcone. According to Fox thirteen Tampa Bay, the shooter, twenty four year old Neil Gallagher, is facing manslaughter charges. His defense? He didn’t know the gun was loaded.  Jogging will kill you And of course there’s the case of the unarmed black jogger in Georgia who appears to be being hunted and is then shot and killed back in February. A video is causing outrage online. The two men in the video who allegedly shot and killed the jogger, Ahmaud Arbery, have not been charged.  Supreme court flush OK, enough of all that mayhem, here’s the sound byte of the day. Yesterday the Supreme Court heard oral arguments over teleconference, due to the dangers of coronavirus. Yet it seems that some of the better arguments came out the other end.  While attorney Roman Martinez was passionately arguing in Barr v. American Association of Political Consultants, listeners, and that includes everyone with an inclination to bend an ear due to the fact that the proceedings were streamed live on the internet, clearly heard a toilet flush in the background. Although Martinez was speaking at the time of the flush, it’s not clear who pushed the plunger. It could have been the notorious RBG, Aleto, Roberts, you name it. We hear from reliable sources that they are all, literally full of sh*t. In another ironic twist at the court, during arguments about robocalls, Justice Stephen Breyer was cut off when someone tried calling him. The Justice said, Quote: “I don't think it was a robocall." It was probably just Mark from Microsoft calling from Mumbai about all those infections on Breyer’s computer.  Worse than Pearl Harbor We actually have another candidate for sound byte of the day today on the Overnight Underground. President Trump on Wednesday compared the coronavirus pandemic to Pearl Harbor and nine eleven. Needless to say, a lot of Twatters were offended and outraged, because that’s just how they roll. The President also reversed his earlier decision to disband the coronavirus task force. He said he, quote: “had no idea how popular the task force is.” Probably more popular than his current ratings.  The butler did it.  The President’s personal valet has tested positive for Covid-19, but Trump and his docs say he’s A OK. The valets are members of the military and work closely with the President and and the first family. According to The New York Post and other sources, the valet started exhibiting symptoms on Wednesday and later tested positive for coronavirus. The news has reportedly, quote: “hit the fan” in the west wing. Nothing a good dose of bleach won’t fix.  Avoid driving in Georgia Here’s a reason to stay the hell off the roads in Georgia, twenty thousand teens have received their driver licenses without a road test.  It’s all part of Georgia's way of handling the backlog of the thousands of road tests that have been put on hold due to the coronavirus pandemic. And while you’re at it, you might want to avoid driving in Wisconsin as week. The state announced that it will start doing the same for teen drivers, starting Monday. Oh these kids today, try parallel parking a ‘70s Lincoln Town Car as part of your driving test and then get back to me. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:  Ruth Bader Ginsburg hospitalized. Joe Biden mumbles from his basement. The President forgets his mask. A Dallas hair salon owner gets jail time and an Ohio woman suffers from a flaming crotch.   These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.   Open up and die Are you looking forward to your state reopening? If new research rings true from The Wharton School, you shouldn't be. A new model from the Wharton School at the University Of Pennsylvania is predicting three hundred and fifty thousand deaths by the end of June if all states do fully open. The model focuses on three reopening scenarios, with states continuing lockdown, partial lockdown and totally reopening all states. Essentially, the different scenarios show a trade-off between deaths and job losses.  Alex Arnon senior analyst from Penn Wharton. RBG hospitalized Supreme Court judge Ruth Vader Ginsburg is back in the hospital. CBS News reports that Ginsburg was hospitalized on Tuesday for treatment of a gallbladder condition at Johns Hopkins. According to reports she is doing well enough to take part in oral arguments via teleconference today. The Supreme Court began hearing oral arguments on a remote basis via teleconference this week. Now wouldn’t that be fun to zoom bomb.  Biden mumbles some more Here’s our Overnight Underground sound byte of the day featuring presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden, live from his basement on MSNBC’s Morning Joe. So if anyone can tell us just what the hell he is actually saying, please send your interpretation to: podcast@johnford.net. Honestly, I think that someone needs to code a Joe Biden translator on the interneterweertubes, stat.  Trump forgoes mask The President is under fire again, can you guess what’s getting Trump thrown under the bus this time? (I really don't know) It seems Mister Trump took a tour of a face mask manufacturing plant and well, he didn’t wear a mask. It’s not like there weren't any available. Video of the tour of the plant show The President being shown masks and mask making equipment by plant officials while music such as “House of the Rising Sun” and “Live and Let Die” blared in the background.  The revenge of the KKK Shopper On Monday, the Overnight Underground News reported on a San Diego shopper at Vons  wearing a KKK hood. Today comes word that, according to ABC News San Diego, there is growing outrage over the inability of the Po Po to find the hood wearing shopper. Outrage here is the operative word. In the age of social media, outrage is what fuels the fires that rage in the digital groin. Everyone is outraged, over something. Police allegedly have been fielding calls calling for the identification and incarceration of the perp. San Diego County District Supervisor Dianne Jacob has called the incident "abhorrent" and an act of "blatant racism". The NAACP and ACLU have even made known their outrage. That’s all fine and good, and I personally think the guy is undoubtedly an idiot, but what law did he actually break? He wore a hood as a mask. It may be abhorrent and possibly racist, but it’s a waste of police resources if he didn’t actually break any laws. Get over it and move on Francis.  Dallas hair salon owner jailed Opening your business in Dallas without special dispensation from the authorities, you’ll end up in the slammer. Dallas salon owner Shelley Luther was jailed yesterday for reopening in violation of a court order. The Dallas Morning News reports that the business owner defied local and state orders and a judge’s restraining order for operating her business during the pandemic.The judge offered leniency to the perp if she apologized, but Luther refused and was fined seven grand along with a week in the can. Just minutes before the judge laid down his ruling, Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that barbershops and salons across Texas could reopen on Friday. All this gives new meaning to live free or dye.  More Dollar Store mayhem Yesterday we had the woman who shot and killed a security guard at the Dollar Store in Michigan, today in Michigan we give you the snot nosed Dollar Store Grandpa.  Fox News reports police in Holly, Michigan are on the lookout for a man who blew his nose on a Dollar Store employee’s tee shirt. It seems the man was told, wait for it, that he had to wear a mask to get in the store. Grumpy grandpa then told the worker at said Dollar Store "Here, I will use this as a mask" and then began wiping his face and nose on the clerk's shirt. You may think that this story is kinda funny, but it’s snot.  Fire-crotch in Ohio An Ohio woman is in the pokey today because she called the cops to report that her nether regions were on fire. The Port Clinton News Herald reports that Katrina Morgan, fifty, called nine one one and told authorities that she needed help extinguishing a fire in her crotch, or to quote the police, her pussy was ablaze. She allegedly asked if the fire department’s “hose is working” and also said “I need somebody to come put it out with their hose.”  According to Police, Morgan faces charges of disrupting public services, making false alarms, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. Needless to say, it does appear that alcohol was involved.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, now the headlines:  Chowderheads abound in open states. Trump will bring back the coronavirus press circuses. Wear a face mask or start shootin’. Kentucky woman invents the convertible face mask and Hey Wendy’s These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.   American’s return to the great outdoors Halfwits abound after some states have relaxed their stay at home order. In Texas, beaches in some areas look more like bumper to bumper flesh. So much for social distancing. In Port Aransas, just up the coast from Corpus Christi, one local posted pictures on Fakebook that shows beach goers have traded social distancing to social indifference. The beaches in Port Aransas had been off limits for a month before opening over the weekend. It is indeed, as one local put it,  a jungle out there.  On Miami Beach, South Pointe Park was forced to shut down five days after it re-opened. According to the Miami Herald, park rangers issued nearly nine thousand verbal warnings to park goers for not wearing facial coverings. Here’s an idea, just tell the Miami Beach douchebags that surgical mask tan lines are all the rage and everyone will be wearing one. Across the state in Clearwater, Florida, beachgoers are using seaweed to create social distancing boundaries blocking off the section around their beach encampments.  In California, Governor Newsom has caved and is loosening restrictions on his stay-at-home order this week. The retail sector will start to reopen with curbside pickup and Newsom said that the state is looking to move into phase 2.  Trump will resume coronavirus press conferences The President said yesterday that his coronavirus press conferences will return, they just won’t be back on a daily basis.  As reported in the Daily News, Trump said that “everybody” enjoyed his White House coronavirus briefings and rambled on about how great the ratings were. Mister Trump, please Define everybody.  Trump and press continue to spar The President also took verbal pot shots at a couple of reporters. That didn’t stop the press from taking a few shots back at Trump yesterday, here’s MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough using his air-time to call out Trump to take a rest for not being well. New strain of Covid-19 detected Well here’s some good news, of course I jest. According to the LA TImes, there is a mutant coronavirus strain out there spreading coast to coast that is more infectious than the first round. Scientists at the Los Alamos National Laboratory, who conducted the study that exhumed the new strain, say it is now the dominant strain worldwide. The new strain, according to the eggheads, may also make those infected vulnerable to a second infection after a first bout with Covid-19. So how much longer should we all just lock ourselves down in the basement? That’s a good question, Biden may know, he seems to have gotten pretty good at hiding in his.  No face mask? That’s a shootin’ If the security guard won’t let you into the store because your kid isn’t wearing a face mask? Why, just shoot them of course.  A woman, along with her husband and son are being charged with murder in Flint, Michigan, after shooting the security guard at the local Family Dollar store. The guard, who was enforcing the state's face mask policy, reportedly refused the family entrance to the store because their daughter wasn’t wearing a face mask. The woman, Sharmel Teague, I guess that’s pronounced sort of like Charmin and caramel combined, Sharmel, her mother must have loved werthers candy and toilet paper, that’s all I can think of. Anyway she argued with the guard and then allegedly shot him in the back of the head.  Kentucky woman is a moron No matter where they may live, humans seem to often be universally stupid. A woman in Kentucky it seems has been cutting holes in her mask, exposing her mouth and nose, just to make it easier to breathe. A gas station clerk at the S J Food Mart in Lexington spotted the mask wearing Mensa member and asked her about her clever custom mask attire.  The video has already received more than eight hundred thousand likes on TikTok. Florida woman busted As we continue to take a trip down the isle of morons, a Florida woman has been busted for exposing her non-locked down breasts. The Smoking Gun reports that a fifty six year old Vero Beach woman was cleaning out her garage topless, in full horrific view of her neighbors, who of course called the cops on lady garage diva. The woman, according to the neighbors, quote: “bent over with her top down and started pounding on her blue plastic recycling bin making sure that the victim and the kids were looking.” Victim? Of course it can’t be unseen, and no amount of eye bleach can cure it, but victim?  Twitter users have beef with Wendy’s Hey Wendy’s, where's the beef. That’s exactly what some customers are asking the fast food hamburger chain. Meat shortages have caused Wendy’s to take burgers off the menu at a number of its stores in California and across the nation. It’s reported that somewhere in the neighborhood of a fifth of Wendy’s US restaurants are lacking meat. (Bloomberg reports that some customers have taken to Twitter complaining. Taken to Twitter to complain? And you have to have noticed, yes your groceries have been taking a price hike. Milk prices are up ten percent and eggs have risen thirty percent.  Chicken poop in the park Sweden has a novel way of keeping people out of parks during their lockdown. In the city of Lund, which usually draws crowds numbering in the tens of thousands to celebrate Walpurgis Night in its central park, decided the best way to deal with the revelers was using chicken shit. No seriously. Officials in the Swedish city will dump more than a ton of chicken poop into the park.  According to the newspaper Syvesdenskan, the chairman of the Lund council's environmental committee said, quote:: "We get the opportunity to fertilize the lawns, and at the same time it will stink and so it may not be so nice to sit and drink beer in the park." Now there’s an election promise if I ever heard one. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump ups the death toll ante. Zero bail fail in California. The worst coronavirus mask choice ever and Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters just loves Biden.  These stories coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.   Trump ups the ante.  You know, just when you think things might be getting better, comes news reported on the New York Times that the Trump administration is projecting somewhere in the neighborhood of three thousand daily deaths by early June. The President is pushing for states to open up and get the economy back on track with an upbeat approach to ending the lockdown, but apparently the administration is privately worried about a second wave and new deaths reaching that three thousand mark next month.  In his town hall promotional event, Trump said that deaths could reach a hundred thousand, that’s double his prediction from just two weeks ago. Trump also said this on Friday concerning coronavirus death totals President Trump reiterating how proud he is of his administration's death totals. Trump also took time out from his virtual town hall to take a swipe at his favorite enemy, the press. In this exchange, the President compares himself to Lincoln. Other than that Mister President, how was the play.  Cali bail fail California’s coronavirus zero bail policy is working out well. So well in fact that one guy was arrested and released three times in one day. ABC News reports that Dijon Landrum, can you believe it, his mother named him after mustard,  was arrested in Glendora for car theft and was allegedly attempting to drive away in the stolen vehicle. He was issued a citation and released. About an hour later. Mister mustard  was then nabbed for stealing property from multiple  homeowners yards, again he was issued a citation and released. Later that night he got busted for stealing a car and again cited and released. There is no truth to the rumor that the LA police are going to start a loyalty rewards program for criminals so they can rack up points for fun and prizes on the catch and release program.  KKK coronavirus mask Well, all you said was we had to wear a mask. In the San Diego suburb of Santee, a shopper showed up at the Vons grocery store donning a KKK mask. Needless to say, some folks have their panties in a bunch over it, including the local mayor. According to Seven San Diego, grocery store workers repeatedly asked the man to take off the hood, but he just ignored them until he was in the checkout area. I suppose that’s one way to maintain social distancing.  Roger Waters dunks Biden Former Pink Floyd front man Roger Waters, hasn’t let his disdain for republican politicians get in the way to taking a shot at Joe Biden. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, Waters called the presumptive Democratic nominee for President, a… well let’s let Waters speak for himself. Come on, Roger, tell us what you really think. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Joe says he’s an innocent man. Trump claims Covid and China rink, ah link. Illinois Governor gets foot in mouth disease. Michigan goes nuts and India invents giant Covid tongs. These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground.  I’m John Ford.   It ain’t so says Joe Presumptive Presidential Democratic Nominee Joe Biden released a statement Friday morning that the allegations of sexual impropriety with Tara Reade are, quote: “They aren’t true. This never happened.”  Biden has been under the microscope from his political enemies and others claiming that this proves the hypocrisy within the Democratic party and the “me too” movement. Of course, yesterday’s tautology apologetic by speaker Nancy Pelosi didn’t help.  Nancy Pelosi yesterday defending Joe Biden from sexual assault accusations. Here’s Biden on MSNBC’s Morning Joe on Friday:  wait, I’m sorry, that’s the wrong one. . https://twitter.com/MSNBC/status/1256195709101015040 Yesterday, MSNBC’s Chris Hayes found himself on the wrong end of a rabid Twitter mob, which is always a pain in the patooty. as #FireChrisHayes was trending like wildfire.  The cable talking head is the first prime-time host on the left leaning MSNBC to cover Tara Reade’s sexual assault allegations against Biden, and Biden’s supporters, well, they didn’t like it. Biden had been seen as the “safe” choice among the Democratic candidates, but with this sexual assault allegation, his rambling, sometimes crazy and mumbling speech  and little things like confusing his wife and his sister, there’s no doubt that Hillary is cowering in the corner salavatin' like a rabid dog and just waiting for the right time to pounce.  President claims China linked to pandemic The President claims to have seen evidence that links a lab in Wuhan, China to the start of the coronavirus pandemic. (bite-trump 1) Trump at yesterday’s new circus. When he was pressed about the proof, he responded, quote: “I can’t tell you that. I am not allowed to tell you that.” President Trump also said this concerning any retribution towards China.  Of course, China has denied any involvement. Who are you kidding, we all know Bill Gates paid China and Nancy Pelosi to cook it up in her million dollar refrigerator so ice cream futures would spike.  Now comes word that Trump is going to hold China accountable for Covid 19. CNN reports the punishment could include possible sanctions and cancellation of US debt.  Stay at home and mind your own business Well it seems that a politician sticking his foot in his or her mouth is becoming a daily occurrence here on the overnight underground. Please welcome the Governor of Illinois to the club.  During an Illinois coronavirus press conference, Governor Pritzker said this when asked by a reporter why his wife wasn’t following his and the states stay at home order,  Reports are that the Governor's wife hopped on a plane for a little vacay in  Florida. The Governor, According to  Chicagobusiness.com, owns a twelve million dollar horse farm in Florida which he purchased back in 2018. Of course the best answer he could have given would have been, “She’s staying at home, just a different home. We own a whole bunch of em.” Michigan protests lockdown Things continue to get dicey in Michigan. On Thursday hundreds of protesters, many with big, black scary rifles, stormed Michigan’s capitol, protesting the state's lockdown. Protesters inside the Michigan capitol house. All this was happening while the Legislature was debating on whether to extend the Governor's state of emergency in response to the pandemic. The Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer has since used her executive privilege to extend the state's coronavirus emergency lockdown. Something tells me this may not end well. Some of the protesters attempted to gain entry to the House floor but were blocked by state police and the sergeants-at-arms. Anti-lockdown protests are also scheduled today in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York. Should be fun  Texas opens up The good news is, today Texas ends it’s stay at home lockdown. The bad news, Texas coronavirus fatalities hit a one-day high, one day before reopening. Fifty new deaths were reported on Thursday, that’s just, as I just said,  one day before Governor Greg Abbott's stay-at-home order was set to die. The Texas Democratic Party issued a statement attacking Abbott's decision to reopen. The Overnight Underground was able to obtain this exclusive audio from deep within the halls of the Texas Democratic party headquarters, concerning Governor Abbot.  The Republican response.  Of course, that was  Markets take a dive The markets are feeling a little crappy today, with the Dow falling over four hundred points and Amazon and Apple leading the tech losers. Of course, all this could change at the drop of a hat. The down trend comes following Wall Street’s biggest monthly surge in over three decades.   Giant tongs for arrestin’ One of the issues police have been wrestling with is how to arrest the evil doers and law breakers without becoming infected with the coronavirus while nabbing the perp. In India, police have come up with a novel idea, giant tongs. The po po in India are tackling social distancing and lawbreakers by using a  6-foot pole with a giant claw at the end to collar a suspect.  That’s the actual sound of said giant claw. The police officer dons a surgical mask, clamps the device around the perp’s waist and guides the criminal into a pickup truck before taking him or her to the pokie.  https://twitter.com/DgpChdPolice/status/1254016219834916866 Better than gargling with a dildo Steely Dan frontman Donald Fagen told Rolling Stone that he is weathering the pandemic by gargling clorox under a sunlamp.  When asked if he had anything to say to his fans, The Nightfly responded, quote: “What can I say? The Prez has a loose wig and it’s tragic. So dig the docs and hunker down in your hidey-holes until they say it’s cool to hit the downbeat.” Hey, Mister Fagen, go drink your big black cow and get outta here. 

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines:  Unemployment jumps again. Trump is tripping. Cali closes the beaches again. Big tech moves to tracks your covid health and the lockdown rips bikini waxes.  These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.  Unemployment soars again It’s the one coronavirus statistic that just doesn’t seem to flatten, the unemployment rate. As of today, we are now officially at thirty million unemployed. The unemployment numbers jumped just under four million in the last week. The Dow opened down in the two hundred point range this morning. Like it or not, the lesson many corporations are learning from the Covid economic disaster is that to move on from this nightmare we need more automation and fewer people employed in the most infected and affected  job sectors.  Trump plans Arizona trip It seems that President Trump has White House cabin fever and is set to get out of dodge. The great orange one announced he will visit Arizona next week. The New York Post reported earlier in the week that Trump had been getting itchy feet and was looking forward to campaign rallies and weekends at his swanky and kitschy Mara Lago retreat.  Politico reports that this coincides with the President's first major ad campaign that he hopes will end his slide into possible ineluctability. The spots will tout Trump's handling of the coronavirus emergency and ads will be squarely aimed at Biden. Let’s see over sixty thousand dead, over a million confirmed cases and thirty million out of work. You know, Biden should just run the Trump ads with a laugh track under them.  Newsom to close beaches, again California Governor Gavin Newsom is set to order all beaches and state parks closed in his state effective Friday. Newsom blamed lack of social distancing by Californian’s for the new lock-down order. Oh hell, why not just blame stupidity. As the weather heats up in Cali, this order will undoubtedly get a lot of Californians hot under the collar.  In somewhat unrelated news, teachers in California have called Newsom’s suggestion to reopen schools in July as being quote:  unrealistic. The teachers unions are busy reminding the Governor just who’s in charge of schools in California. In Oakland, the talk has been to delay the school year, not an earlier start to the yearly babysitting service. Covid didn’t start in your mom's basement The latest poop on the coronavirus’ origin, is that the damn thing was probably not made in a lab. The AP is reporting that US intelligence agencies have concluded that the new coronavirus was not, quote: “ manmade or genetically modified.” All that being said, the agencies are still looking into whether the pandemic can be traced to contact with infected animals or possibly an accident at a Chinese lab.  And proof positive that you can find news and statistics to prove just about damn near every side of an issue, come this from that bastion of journalistic integrity, Dnyuz dot com, reporting that senior Trump officials are pushing for spy agencies to track down evidence that will support the theory that a government laboratory in Wuhan, China was the origin of the virus. The Chinese government has, needless to say, denied  the virus leaked from a lab. The Chinese have pushed their own conspiracy theory that suggests the American military created the coronavirus. So who you gonna’ believe, our lying politicians or theirs?  Prisons are sick Well it’s one way to reduce the prison population. The San Francisco Gate is reporting that over seventy percent of federal inmates have the plague. Out of twenty seven hundred tests that were performed system wide, close to two thousand have come back positive for coronavirus. Let’s venture to say it’s probably not a good time to be committing any crimes.  https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Over-70-of-tested-inmates-in-federal-prisons-15235624.php Pandemic gains tracking Many Americans are good to go with tech companies tracking their Covid status and every waking and sleeping moment. Privacy rights have taken a big hit since the lockdown, and it seems that many Merican’s are tickled pink with the prospect of losing more of them. According to a new study reported in the Verve, more than half of those surveyed said they would be OK with an app that would let others know they had COVID-19. The survey conducted by the University of Maryland and the Washington Post found that Democrats responding in the survey said they were more willing to give up rights to be tracked by such an app. In completely unrelated news, Apple and Google recently released an initial version of their application programming interface that represents the first phase of tracking coronavirus infections. Coming next, undoubtedly anal probes to enter Wally World.  Do you miss bush? Now here’s some sad news. The coronavirus has taken its toll on the bikini waxing. Many women are, as they used to say back in the ‘60s, letting it all hang out. The Sun reports, yea I know, the Sun, that bringing back the bush is all the rage right now.  No, not that bush.  https://www.dailystar.co.uk/fashion-beauty/full-bush-back-ladies-swerve-21813064

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Pence goes naked. Cuomo’s daily bitchfest. It’s time to isolate your dog. Disinfectant-gate keeps rolling along and garbage truck fires are now a thing. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford. The President didn’t do anything stupid enough to garner media attention yesterday, so the Vice President kindly stepped into the breech. Pence is under the gun for not wearing a face mask while visiting the Mayo Clinic. The Mayo Clinic allegedly told Pence that their policy was that all visitors need to put a mask on their puss, Pence passed on the recommendation. His reasoning for not wearing a mask? The VP said he wanted to look the healthcare workers, quote: “in the eye.” I think Pence needs to get Fauchi or one of the other White House experts to explain how to wear a mask. New York Governor Cuomo used his bully pulpit to cast the blame of the covid pandemic on everyone but himself on Tuesday. His targets, public health agencies, the intelligence community and every politician’s favorite foil, the media.The New York Post notes that Cuomo has also openly grappled with Mayor Bill de Blasio as well on the face mask issue. Cuomo having a little Howard Beale moment on live TV. Speaking of Mayor de Blasio, he’s getting as good as Trump for Tweeting with his foot in his mouth. The Mayor specifically called out the Jewish community in New York for gathering in large groups, following an outdoor funeral by an orthodox jewish sect in Brooklyn. The Mayor Tweeted, that he quote: “instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups.” Goodwin’s law it seems is in full effect. Right or wrong isn’t going to matter here, he’s joined the ranks of those guilty of offending someone or some group. Mister Mayor, you helped create this beast of offense, now learn live with it. Oh brother, now you have to socially isolate your dog. The CDC has issued a warning that your pets now need to follow the same social-distancing rules as you do during the COVID-19 pandemic. So no dog parks or sniffing buts with the neighbors dogs. According to the CDC, “do not let pets interact with people or animals outside the household.” Also, avoid dog parks or public places where a large number of people and dogs gather. Last week two cats in New York came down with the infection and a pug in North Carolina became the first dog in the US known to authorities to have become infected. And no, don’t bleach your dog. It’s just the story that the press refuses to let die, disinfectant-gate. A new Reuters poll says that ninety eight percent of ‘Mericans think injecting disinfectant into plague infected patients is a generally bad idea. Makes you wonder about the two percent who think it’s a spiffy idea. Overall Trumps ratings remain about the same as a week ago, with forty-three percent of Americans saying they approve of his overall job performance. Remember folks, use code Maga2020 for a thirty percent discount at checkout on your bleach and disinfectant needs. Doctor Fauchi, the coronavirus expert at the White House that everyone seems so fond of, even getting Brad Pitt love on Saturday Night Live, appears to have a little alleged covid dirt of his own. According to an article reported in Newsweek, the organization led by Doctor Fauchi, the National Institute for Allergy and Infectious Diseases, financed scientists at the Wuhan Institute of Virology and other institutions for work on research on bat coronaviruses. Many scientists have been critical of the “gain of function” research that Fauchi’s institute funded, which involves manipulating viruses in the lab to probe their potential for infecting humans. The scientists' fear revolves around the research creating a risk of unleashing a pandemic by accidental release. Sound familiar? In a somewhat unrelated story, drug maker Pfizer is now saying that they could have a coronavirus vaccine available by the fall.  Officials from Pfizer told the Wall Street Journal that testing of the vaccine could begin as early as next week and emergency usage could happen in the fall. Clinical trials have already started in Germany, where Pfizer is working with German-based BioNtech. New York based Pfizer has already invested six hundred and fifty thousand samolians into vaccine research for coronavirus. Pfizer, aren’t they the ones who invented viagra? Tell you what, if you’re rona’ virus vaccine can also give me a woodie, I’ll pay extra.  If you picked boneless chicken as the next food shortage to hit the US, step right up and pick up your foul prize. yea I know. Anyways, it seems meat packing plants have reduced supplies of boneless chicken and the popular cut of meat is next on the hard to find list at the store. The pandemic infections at meat packing plants have reduced slaughter activity and could make boneless cuts as rare as hens teeth. Look bunkie, here’s a little hint. It’s not that hard to take a well sharpened boning knife and bone the damn chicken yourself. I’m sure there is a youtube video that will explain it to you snowflake. The really scary thing is, there is probably a fairly large percentage of people who think boneless cuts come from boneless chickens.  Garbage truck fires, is there anything coronavirus can’t do? It seems that with all the time we have on our hands during lockdown, folks around the country are taking advantage of that time off from work and cleaning up and doing chores that have been piling up. One problem though. Fox News Denver reports that there has been an increase in garbage truck fires. Which are undoubtedly due to more people tossing out hazardous materials such as batteries, pool chemicals, paint thinner, lighter fluid and propane tanks. When the garbage trucks use their compactor to smash the trash, it often goes boom.   The US may have a french fry shortage due to the cursed coronavirus, but in Belgium, they have a glut of potatoes. In fact, three quarters of a million tons of the tasty tubers are at risk of being thrown away. According to CNBC, the Belgian government is telling its citizens to eat two helpings of fries a day. The spud glut is mostly due to a fall in demand in the frozen potato sector. Now there’s a phrase you don’t hear every day, the frozen potato sector. Of course the Belgians make a damn good fry, and you can almost forgive them for slathering their wonderful fries in the devil's condiment of emulsified raw egg yolk, oil and acid.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: We’re losing our meat. Where is Kim? Biden wants economic intercourse. Dive through dildos, naked German doctors and celebrities' faces are deflating.  These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Things are opening up. Please don’t drink the bleach. Crazy things people believe and stupid sayings from Florida. All coming up on today’s Overnight Underground. I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump goes all cleaning fluid and light. The Cuomo’s take bleach baths. Masks that were once good are bad again. A petition for free Netflix & haircuts now a criminal activity. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump kills immigrants, uh immigration. The Las Vegas Mayor is going viral. AOC calls for a boycott, of work. The patriarchy is puzzling and unemployment hits new heights.These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Cali gets a little shake. Texas foot in mouth disease. Yoga pants outrage. I got your tip line right here & rock band face masks are now a thing. These stories & more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Kim Jong Un be illin’. Trump is suspending immigration. OMG WTF Oil. The National Guard to guard pork. Biden likes Michelle Obama and Paris burns for a second day. These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Lockdown protests continue in the US and worldwide. Trump targets the media, again. Stocks and oil open lower. Half of LA unemployed and Vegas looks to open back up. These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump talks opening up. Lockdown making Americans looney. Unemployment jumps. Mass transit breeds the virus and stimulus checks spur some wacky purchases.  These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump dumps WHO funding and orders stimulus checks reprinted. Warren endorses the old white guy. France targets le Amazon. Schumer realizes her son is a d*ck and toilet paper cake is now a thing. These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Trump claims absolute authority. Bernie Bros cry out in anguish. The great national nightmare is over, the WWE returns to Florida. Does Gates want to microchip your brain?  These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News. I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Is Fauchi next to get the Trump axe? Twitter mob mobs the Surgeon General. Weather takes revenge on the South. More Toilet Paper violence and smoking, is it the coronavirus killer? These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Coronavirus has gone to sh*t. The new Instacart scam. No more shaking hands ever. Utah’s gets tighter. Your dog is safe and Yelp  needs help. These stories & more coming up on the Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.

The Overnight Underground Podcast, here’s the headlines: Coronavirus the job killer. More Covid privacy concerns. New York Mayor de Blasio gets the Bronx cheer. Grocery licking on the increase and vacuum cleaner assault in Florida. These stories and more coming up on today’s Overnight Underground News.  I’m John Ford.