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Not the welcome we expectedWhen your tour guide is an assassin, what can go wrong?By FinalStand. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.You can do wrong while trying to do right.FlashbackAlal's 'milk of human kindness' had finally run dry as the Visigoths sacked his Roman villa. While looters ran off with his latest trappings of wealth, and deserted by his servants and his slaves, Grandpa decided that he was tired of fucking around with the Human Race. He felt they were simply too stupid, venal and weak to make any positive, lasting changes in the world.Alal decided that he was going to make the key choices for them. Fuck free will. Fuck letting the vermin that floated to the top of the cesspool destroy everything good in the world, as he had witnessed them doing time and time again. He had lost count of the monuments destroyed, histories of peoples forgotten and benefits to mankind burned away by barbarism and ignorance.By the fading light of August the 26th, 410 CE, Alal found himself sitting back in the pergola (a sort of mini-gazebo) in his rear gardens, drinking through several amphora of wine all the while having a deep philosophical debate with the several dozen very dead Goths decorating his environs.As three or four looters would enter the garden, he would kill them. And then three or four more would show up looking for the earlier group,, on and on. This reinforced Alal's belief that something drastic had to be done. He seriously considered going to the coast, getting a ship and five solid stone anchors. He'd sail out two days, maybe three, wrap himself in the anchors and jump overboard.The problem, as he saw it, was that given a few decades, the ropes would rot and he'd bob to the surface to see again that none of the fundamentals had changed. Further complicating his current thinking was that every time he came close to throwing in the cosmic towel, some more GOD DAMN GOTHS would come around, calling for their buddies, the dead ones. Somewhere around noon on August the 27th, Alal vowed that he was tired of this shit.Right on cue, around twenty Goths came strolling through the rear of his villa and soaked up the carnage out back. Fifty-two of their brethren were in various states of dismemberment and defilement (Alal had been, as usual, angry). They saw this dark-skinned Roman and rightly asked 'where's the army that killed these fellows?' He walked up to them in his wine-splashed toga."Are you the one in charge?" he asked the meanest looking Visigoth in passible Goth."I am," the leader responded. With lightning speed, he killed the man with his own sword. The Germans weren't sure what to make of that, it had happened so fast."You can join me," Alal indicated himself, "or you can join him," he indicated the corpse of their former leader. He had his new band of followers and the rest was Illuminati history.End FlashbackFor me, this meant more to me than living with the memories of a very bitter, driven and pitiless man. Alal was essentially the anti-me. It gave me chills to realize that all of Alal's gifts were bestowed on me with a purpose. I knew it was part of his greater plan. Normally, to end-run an evil genius, you just find him and kill him. Not only would Alal not stay dead, I now knew how well he could fight.I knew only four people who might be in his league, and I wasn't one of them. Of the four, Sakuniyas wasn't likely to help Pamela, Saint Marie and Elsa get the job done. That meant I had to rev up the deception engine to comfort my Aunts with hope, while dispelling the knowledge of how little they mattered to their sire. Almost as bad, I had to ignore what horribly people they were while extending that portion of my soul.It was with some relief that I hugged, kissed, and forcefully separated myself from the Aunts in Dublin. We were going on to Budapest's Ferenc Liszt International Airport. My next action was to make my request to Selena for a contract with the Ghost Tigers to defend Hana when she arrived in Russia. (Of the three 9 Clan Assassin-Babes, Selena was the least impressed with me.) She informed me that the Ghost Tigers didn't do bodyguard work. I still wanted her to relay my request, so she relented. After that, I passed out.We left Dublin around 9:30 am Friday morning and landed in Budapest at 1:45 pm., still Friday. As Rachel rousted me so I could grab a quick shower before touchdown, I was gifted with the misconceptions of my fellow travelers:To put it nicely, Riki thought I was somewhat revolting, Virginia was disturbed and Chaz had lowered his opinion of my moral character. It was the incest thing. Vincent being polite was a pleasant surprise, Delilah's camaraderie less so and Odette was peaches with my most recent sexcapades. She was far too good to me. The Amazons uniformly didn't give a crap."So, is there going to be any other bizarre behavior we should be prepared for?" Riki sat down next to me as I was drying my hair. I was back to my 'jeans, t-shirt and wind-breaker' style."Fine, " I said loudly. "It is really none of your business what I did with and to my mother's clones. Yes, they are all clones of my mother, who died when I was seven." A lie."They are also the genetic creations of my grandfather, also known by many as Cáel O'Shea. They are sterile, they are wickedly evil, and two weeks ago I didn't know they existed. I do have a real aunt in Maryland. She's my Father's sister and is not part of the menagerie. Oh yeah, my grandpa is currently a disembodied spirit, back from the Netherworld and looking for a body to take over, if he hasn't found one already," I added."He was born roughly five thousand years ago, was cursed by an ancient Sumerian Goddess such that he can never just die and stay dead. I have his memories running around my head, which, along with denying me a good night's sleep, allows me to speak an assortment of languages, use virtually every weapon built before 1970 and know that he is a vicious criminal mastermind the likes of which you've never imagined outside of fiction.How does that sound, Riki? Shall I get more bizarre? Trust me, I can," I regarded her evenly. She was speechless, but not out of awe. No, she was certain that I was completely unhinged."Everyone who believes Cáel, raise their hand," Odette demanded. Her hand went up. Odette and the Amazons agreeing was expected by the outsiders. Delilah and Virginia joining in was not."Captain Fairchild?" Colour Sgt. Chaz Tomorrow requested clarification."You've all seen those five O'Shea's that left the plane in Ireland. Barring some cosmetic changes, they were the exact same woman. You can either go with Sean Connery's Tak-ne creating a female clone army, or you can believe there is an otherworldly plastic surgeon altering a cadre of super-rich bitches to all look alike," Delilah, who was a captain of something, put out there."Who in the Hell is Tak-ne?" Riki mumbled."Duh," I poked the State Department lassie. "Connor MacLeod's Egyptian mentor in Highlander, the original movie and in the less than stellar sequel, Highlander: The Quickening"."You are mistaken. Connery was that Spanish guy," Riki poked me back."Actually, the relevant quote is: 'I am Juan Sánchez Villalobos Ramírez, Chief metallurgist to King Charles V of Spain. And I'm at your service'," Vincent regaled us with his movie trivia. "He later reveals that he was born Tak-ne in Egypt in the 9th century BCE. Also, his Spanish name makes no sense, he has one too many surnames.""Agent Loire, I am beginning to find intelligent men to be attractive," Charlotte said."Umm, thank you," Vincent responded warily."This might be a good point to get something clear," Chaz inquired. "Mr. Nyilas, whose side are you on? It appears to be rather complicated.""Okay, Chaz, call me Cáel. Calling me Mr. Nyilas makes me miss my dad. I can also be addressed as Cáel 'Wakko' Ishara, Head of House Ishara of the First Twenty Houses of the Amazon Host. Or, you can call me what the Great Khan does, Magyarorszag es Erdely Hercege. Finally, those who love me, or find me amusing, may call me Fehér mén."Selena's snort indicated she'd failed to hide her amusement at my presumptiveness, both titular and physically."Do you want to explain what's so amusing?" Riki looked over to the Black Hand assassin."Your job should be exceptionally easy now," Selena mocked me, "Prince of Hungry and Transylvania, or do you prefer 'White Stud'?""Laugh while you can, Monkey-Girl," I sneered. "The guy currently making a run at erasing seven hundred years of Asian history gave me that title. As for Fehér mén, that means 'White Stallion' and is symbolic of my ties to House Epona, not a phallic reference." Riki's look had gone from disgust, to anger (because she thought she was being played) and lastly, to shock."No," I interpreted her fear. "I am not here as some vanguard to unite the Magyar people to their cultural kinfolk in Central Asia. If you know your Central European history, you might recall that the Mongols devastated my homeland. For the next 450 years, the Turks were unwelcome visitors, conquerors and overlords. My princely status is a pat on the head for a job well done and nothing more.""What job did you do?" Riki prodded."I saved a man's life," I looked pained to admit. She didn't get it."It must have been a major VIPs life," Chaz suggested."You can say that," Pamela nodded. "End of discussion time too."At Ferenc Liszt International, we were diverted to a private hangar once more, courtesy of the Republic of Ireland's diplomatic umbrella. Three grey Ford Focuses and a white panel truck advertising a furniture repair store awaited us. Security issues were immediately obvious. They wanted to separate us (in the Fords) from most of our luggage (in the truck).The five guy welcoming party hid under the cloak of 'don't speak any language you claim to speak' and Selena was of zip help. So, I spoke to them in Hungarian. They glanced my way, but didn't respond. Serbian? Nope. Romanian? Nope."Bows and doves," I commanded.That translated rather logically as 'guns/bows' and 'phones/doves'. Out came our pistols. The only Black Hand to react fast enough was Selena and Pamela had her covered. The Amazons were aiming at the locals while Delilah and Chaz had their weapons out and scanning. Vincent and Virginia hadn't been fast enough, this time. They also didn't have guns pointed at them.The lead BH flunky began talking calmly in German, heavily Slavic accented German."What do you think you are doing?" he inquired of me, in German."Disarming you, ya Moron," I grumbled. Then added in Hittite; "Go", and in my Amazons went to very roughly search, disarm and de-phone our not so friendly friends."Alright, gather up your luggage," I called out to my group. "We are walking to town." That wasn't truly accurate. There was a metro associated with the airport, a kilometer away max. Our guides didn't speak English so they were rather surprised when the bags came out of the truck and were distributed to their owners. Riki Martin and Odette were in some trouble.Girls and 'only packing the necessities', Well, we had some diplomatic lumber to toss at the security services, Vincent had web-searched our location and the route we needed to take to the metro, and Delilah had purchased week-long public transport passes for the group. Only when we started marching out of the hangar did the BH comprehend the totality of their error.The five guys in the hangar were chattering away, in Hungarian, and Selena was peeved."You are upsetting my superiors by blatantly disrespecting their courtesy," she reminded me. "They have guaranteed your safety.""Less than a day has passed since the shootout in London, Selena," I countered."This is the Black Hand's backyard," Selena persisted, "not London.""So, you are only going to help us if we do stupid shit we wouldn't do, even on our own home ground, is that it?" I chuckled. "Sweet," then, to my people, "I guess we are on our own."The airport security guards didn't know what to make of our group of over-worked Sherpa, but the US State department and the RoI (Republic of Ireland) vouched for us, so they let us pass.We hadn't taken the cars and the truck because that would have been theft. The confiscated guns and phones had been disassembled and tossed into a large iron drum of used aviation lubricant. Odette began shopping around for hotel reservations (I was carrying most of her gear). She was the logical choice because she sounded the most human of the bunch.Selena called her people back, explained the fuck up and engaged in a mutual ass-chewing that spilled over a half-dozen languages and ended up with Dick-head, the local BH chieftain providing us with quarters that would turn a blind eye to our arsenal. With that address in mind, we made for the bowels of modern Budapest.Dutifully, Riki contacted the US Embassy to Hungary's CIA mission head and Chargé D' Affaires, a.i., updating them on our arrival and movements. At the last moment, I had Riki relay the wrong address, on a paranoid hunch. I was right to be paranoid except I was looking in the wrong direction.We had just disembarked at the Kőbánya-Kispest M3 station when we walked into the rolling ambush. A 'rolling ambush' is like a meeting engagement, the difference being that one side (ours) is on the move, not knowing it is being hunted while the other side (our attackers) was rushing to catch up with us, not knowing where along the path they would find us.As we preparing to transition from the station to the attached terminal, looking for the bus line that would connect us to the BH safe house in the Kőbánya (X) District, our attackers were dismounting their vehicles from across the street as well as to our left and right. They were dressed like cops. Had they been armed like cops,"Oh look," I snickered to Pamela, "I see a whole bunch of heavily armed people coming our way.""Good for you," Pamela muttered. "Your eyes are still working.""Do you think they are here to raise me up on their shields and proclaim me 'Prince'?" I joked."I think they are here to kill us," Pamela grinned."I prefer to think positively," I grinned back."I am positive they are here to kill us," Pamela laughed. It had to be our relaxed demeanor that confused them.Had we been the droids they were looking for, we wouldn't have been chatting in the open with our bags in our hands. That would have made us crazy, and they would have been right. We were crazy alright and there was a method to our madness. It was mid-afternoon, yet there were plenty of average Hungarians wandering about.Sure, they saw the 'special cops' closing in. They didn't see the upcoming shoot-out because that was plain nuts. A gun battle in a modern metropolis in broad daylight? London yesterday was an aberration, not the new normal. Our impromptu plan was to let the killers get as close as possible to limit the collateral damage.This wasn't classic Amazon training. It was a concession to allies who did care about civilians killed in the cross-fire. The oncoming hit squad was finally putting faces to targets when Odette broke the calm before the storm. All she did was squeak when Vincent pushed her behind a kiosk. Riki took Virginia shifting her to cover in silence.Delilah took off at a dead-run to the south-east. They were raising their shotguns and assault rifles. We were drawing our pistols. Normally this would have been an unequal match, except that in the time period where, in their eyes, we had gone from bystanders to targets, they'd also covered a good deal of ground, to the point that they were out in the open while my fighting band was in close proximity to all kinds of cover.It started out as eighteen to twelve. Pamela, Chaz and Selena quickly cut down those odd by five. Me? I didn't try to shoot and run at the same time, so I made it to cover and was stuck there by our opponents use of fully-automatic fire.My lack of martial prowess could be forgiven by the reality I was the one they were trying to off. My greatest contribution to this skirmish was tossing my SPAS-12 to Chaz so he could use something more than his standard military issue Glock-17. I had barely gotten Chaz's appreciative nod when two grenades went off in close proximity to me.At first, I heard and felt nothing. My eyes were having trouble focusing. When my limbs began to orient themselves, I had to fight down the instinct to move. I was lying down, which was far safer than staggering around in the middle of this hail of lead. The twin grenades turned out to be their second and very fatal mistake on this mission.The first had been their delay in identifying my group. The second, using the stun grenades, did put me, Pamela and Selena out of commission temporarily. But their mistake was having misplaced my six Amazons in this mess they had created. They did have thirteen shooters versus Chaz, Virginia and Vincent. They rushed our position using the classic advance while firing rote.Two meters from me, the six Amazons revealed themselves with five P-90's and one big-ass bow. Four escaped the kill zone only to find themselves flanked by Delilah. Her .480, combined with their confusion, finished off the survivors. That wasn't the end of it. We still had to effect our get-away.I was still getting my head on straight as the ladies decided to hotwire some of the deceased men's rides and get us the heck out of Dodge. Recovery brought with it the knowledge that Virginia and Chaz had been shot. Pamela, Selena and me, we had some scrapes and bruises. Everyone else checked out. Mona let us know that she could handle the wounded. They wouldn't be doing jumping jacks for a week or two, but a hospital was not required. On the downside, no one believed that eighteen killers dressed as cops randomly rolled up on our transit point by accident. The only people who knew about our change in travel plans had been the Black Hand. We'd lied to the US.We broke into an abandoned factory to stash the vehicles and make our next plan. Selena was coldly furious. Not only did she come to the same conclusion we had, the Black Hand had set us up to be murdered, we weren't letting her call in. Wiesława and Charlotte kept their guns pointed at her, so low was our level of trust.Chaz was pretty much of the opinion that Selena should be coerced to provide us with the names and locations of the Black Hand involved so that we could do our own 'fact finding tour'. Oddly, none of the Americans asked to be pulled out. Vincent and Riki wanted to let the US Embassy know what had happened, yet were willing to wait until we were secure somewhere first.Rachel was on board with Chaz's idea, with the addendum that they kill every Black Hand they could get their hands on before fleeing the city. They had tried to kill ME after all. I was touched. It was Pamela who put things in perspective.1) The attackers were not Black Hand, they were mercenaries and that pointed a bloody finger at the Condottieri.2) Selena wasn't a fanatic and her life had been in as much danger as anyone else's. She wasn't part of our ambush. Her buddies had tossed her under the bus.3) It would have been far easier to catch us in that convoy they'd tried to stick us with. Caught in pre-planned crossfires and without our heavier weapons, we would have all died.4) Having failed to deliver us to the pre-planned ambush site, the Condottieri had to rush to our metro stop because, the safe house they had prepared for us wouldn't have worked. We had the numbers to allow us take total charge of our security once we were in place. No, gauging our numbers, this traitor had sent the mercs into a straight-up fight they'd just lost.
Gyokei takes an honest historical look at the tough love of monastic training, and the rebels and reformers who tried to improve it along the way. What kind of people are we trying to cultivate, and what kind of monks are we actually making? What does it take for a monk to be so bad even Dogen won't sit with them? And does meeting the great matter of life and death actually require risking your life? Find out here!
Watch the full episode with Igor Kufayev here: https://youtu.be/isK6matSqPESTAY INSPIRED & KEEP EVOLVINGYEWSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/inspiredevolution. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
WAKE UP with National Sleep Foundation's Proven Strategies! #sleephygiene #NationalSleepFoundation #wakefulness #circadianrhythm #alertnesstips Want to wake up feeling refreshed and energized? Learn the proven strategies from the National Sleep Foundation to improve your sleep quality and start your day off right! In this episode, we'll dive into the expert-approved tips and techniques from Joseph Dzierzeski and Tom DiSalvi to help you wake up feeling more alert, focused, and ready to take on the day. From establishing a consistent sleep schedule to creating a sleep-conducive environment, we'll cover it all. Say goodbye to groggy mornings and hello to a more energized you! Learn more about the National Sleep Foundation at www.nationalsleepfoundation.org Previous episodes: https://theleadpedalpodcast.com/lp1132-combat-drowsy-driving-with-joe-dzierzewski https://theleadpedalpodcast.com/lp873-tips-for-avoiding-falling-a-sleep-at-the-wheel-for-truckers This episode is sponsored by Bison Transport with many opportunities for truck drivers in their fleet across Canada. At Bison – they put Safety First Bison's “Right to Decide” Policy gives every Driver their ultimate protection. Drivers make the final decision if it is safe to drive and Bison actively encourages Driver's use of this policy. You can learn more about Bison and the opportunities available at www.bisondriving.com or call 1-800-527-5781 @BisonTransport #bisontransport DriverCheck is a leader in drug and alcohol, cognitive, and workplace testing helping employers have a safe workplace for their staff. Learn how DriverCheck can help you be safe at www.drivercheck.ca About the Show LISTEN TO THE PODCAST- The show is available at www.theleadpedalpodcast.com , ITunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Tunein, iHeartradio, SoundCloud, and other popular podcast platforms. Thanks for listening JOIN THE LEAD PEDAL PODCAST FAN CLUB www.TheLeadPedalPodcastFanClub.com LISTEN TO LEAD PEDAL RADIO at www.LeadPedalRadio.com The Lead Pedal Podcast for Truck Drivers talks all things trucking for people in the transportation industry helping them improve their business and careers. Interviews with industry professionals and truck drivers, trucking information, and other features on the industry are meant to be helpful for truck drivers and those in transportation. The Lead Pedal Podcast for Truck Drivers has main episodes released every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with bonus material on other days. You can learn more about the host and show on our website and make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the show on your favourite podcast platform. www.theleadpedalpodcast.com What does The Lead Pedal Podcast mean? The Lead (pronounced - Led) stands for acceleration or fast-track of your career or business. It is a play on words and we certainly are not here promoting speeding in the industry. We are hoping this information will help you become a professional driver faster than if you didn't know about many of these topics. Are you enjoying the show? If so we would appreciate you leaving us a rating and review on iTunes or on your favourite podcast platform. www.theleadpedalpodcast.com Join The Lead Pedal Podcast Fan Club where are loyal fans get first chance at specials, discounts on merchandise and much more.The club is free to join and you can learn more at www.theleadpedalpodcastfanclub.com
Living the nightmare; hungering for a normal life. In 25 parts, edited from the works of FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the ► Podcast at Connected.. “If your heart starts the fight, you can lose without regret.” (Thursday Night) It was well past the descent of Night's veil when the Havenstone jet landed outside of New York City. Naomi and team gathered us up and led us to the main building downtown. An unlooked for conflict developed. Naomi's team was there to present me to Hayden. Rachel's team was still focused on securing my wellbeing and they didn't like the attitude Naomi's squad was giving off. With Buffy (Helena was in a different car), there was no concealing Rachel's hostility toward the latest group of SD ladies. The new group was treating me like a 'package', not a Head of House, and that infuriated my First too. All of that ill-will simmered as we made our way to Havenstone. The situation was compounded by the elevator ride. Naomi, her team, Buffy, Rachel and I went into the first elevator. By the time we made it to the top few floors, it was clear that the rest were not immediately following along. The situation ratcheted up to nasty when Naomi demanded Buffy's firearm. Buffy looked ready to use it. "Buffy; gun," I held out my hand, palm up. Buffy reluctantly handed it over. I walked over to the nearest trash can, dropped out the clip, chambered out the first round then dumped the entirety into the trash receptacle. "If they touched it, the weapon would be fouled and not fit for a true Amazon," I explained to Buffy. "Best to save your noble tool the indignity and dispense with it instead." Buffy snorted with amusement, Naomi's crew pretended not to care while Rachel was deeply disturbed. It took a perfunctory gesture to stop Buffy outside Hayden's office. In I went to face Hayden, Katrina, Saint Marie and Troika of House Šauška alone. Šauška was the 'sister goddess' of Ishara; together they formed Ishtar in later incarnations. I didn't believe Troika was here for any sister solidarity this time around. "Why did you do this? Start a war; is this your hatred of Amazon culture shining through, trying to get us all killed in some global struggle against the other Secret Societies?" Hayden opened up with in an even tone. "No," I kept it succinct. They waited for more of an explanation. "Do you have anything you can say to defend your actions?" Troika glared. "I don't need to defend my actions," I regarded her as if she was of alien origin. "The actions speak for themselves." "Why don't you explain it to us, Ishara?" Saint Marie rumbled. Insulted yet again. As an equal, I warranted the use of my first name. "Do I have your permission to fully and completely lay out my reasoning without everyone closing in like a pack of hyenas on a leopard?" I looked to Hayden; not happy. She gave a curt nod. It wasn't like running away would get me far. "I will speak slowly because all of you appear to have become incredibly stupid," I started. "My parent and carrier of my Amazon ancestor's genetic heritage was murdered. The leader of the Amazon Security Detail identified herself, Then they were fired upon. Somehow you do not see those actions as Casus Belli. [cause for war] There are three possible reasons for your blindness: you are all cowards who bully behind closed doors, but fold up like gutless wonders when a true challenge presents itself. Or, the male penis renders you incapable of intelligent thought and induces irrational and unsustainable hostile deductions in your though processes. Or, you want me and the line of Ishara dead and are willing to accept any accident of fate that will render us so," I laid things out for them. "Or, you were in pain over your father's loss and used Havenstone as a tool to lash out at your perceived foes without concern for what price the other houses would have to pay for your personal vendetta," Hayden suggested. "Your gender bias is appalling, High Priestess Saint James," I shook my head. "Have I been such an out of control, emotional male that yours is the logical assumption for how events unfolded?" I smirked. "Except for the meeting where I learned your secret; only Katrina caught that. I've risked death three times for Amazons; yet I hate all of you enough to kill those people and myself. Besides, Saint James, your opinion has been rendered irrelevant." "You will call me Hayden," Hayden simmered. "I will when you and your lackeys get around to calling me Cáel," I countered. "I don't like being insulted any more than you do. I could keep up this childishness forever, but, as I was pointing out, we don't have forever. War is coming. Between my father's murder and my threats to the Condotteiri and Seven Pillars' emissaries, I've guaranteed that. Apologizing won't do any good. They won't believe you. Offering me up won't do any good. They think you hold male life to be worthless; the truth of which I am personally witnessing here and now. They are coming for you no matter what you wish. The best chance for an alliance rests with me. I can establish truly good will with the Nine Clans, Illuminati and the Earth and Sky. Without me, they don't trust you enough to do any good. I'm sure only Katrina believes this; I did all that alliance-building for Havenstone. I am House Ishara and the fate of the Amazons is my fate. Yet here I am, being insulted, being treated like a traitor; an infantile traitor at that, and being informed you will not honor your oaths and obligations to me," I shook my head. "Are there any other issues to discuss, or can I go home now? I'm beat." "You will be housed downstairs for your own safety," Hayden informed me. "Unless you arrest me, I'm going home," I shrugged. "Not only do I not want your protection, I have ceased to trust you. You do not treat me like a sister. Instead you accuse me of atrocities against MY people and layer on the petty insults. Goodnight." I made to leave so Saint Marie interposed herself. "That wasn't a request, Ishara," Hayden murmured with menace. "Beat me up," I chuckled, "and you will be more screwed than you know." The Golden Mare and I locked gazes. I tried to move around her so she put a hand on my chest. "Welcome to the consequences of being known liars and bigots, ladies." "I am tiring of your insolence," Saint Marie growled. "Runners'," Katrina sighed with melancholy amusement. "What about them?" Troika mocked. "The majority of the 'Runners' aren't going to see this as the Council punishing Cáel for starting the upcoming conflict," Katrina chided her cohorts. "They are going to see the Full-blooded shutting down the Only House letting them in. Going to war? They are willing to fight and die for our cause. They assume we are too," Katrina regaled her unwilling audience. "Pleased with yourself, Ish; Cáel," Hayden's eyes narrowed. "He has almost nothing to do with it, Sisters," Katrina chortled. "We were the ones who promised to let the 'Runners' join the houses then reneged on that promise. The worst you can say about Cáel was that only after we picked out, loaded and handed him the gun, did he use it for what it was intended for." "We are not punishing him for this 'Runner' insult," Troika spat. She meant my 'hasty' inductions. "Then why are we punishing him; and thank you for making Cáel's point for him; 'Runner' insult indeed. Since your disgraceful attitude is overwhelmingly common, the 'Runners' are not going to believe your excuse for dealing with Cáel." "Katrina," Hayden cautioned. "Hayden, as your 'First Bearer of the Sun Spear through the Halls of Night and Death', I am required to give you this news," Katrina bowed her head in reverence. "I tell you Cáel's actions have been a lightning rod for the 'Runners'. He gives them hope where there was none. Putting Cáel down will have repercussions you do not understand. They will then 'Know' for a certainty we look down on them and treat them little better than slaves; which is the truth," Katrina responded to the others. "Not only are we going to war, we are successfully convincing half our population that they Cannot trust the Council to spend their lives wisely." "How dare you?" Saint Marie seethed at me. "Are you seriously blaming me for keeping the oaths the rest of you made in my name; while Ishara was dead to the Council?" I laughed. "The 'Runners' are your idea, Saint Marie, not mine. You promised to bring them into the Houses ; and didn't. You lied and I chose to not perpetuate that lie, thus honoring my ancestors, my founder and my Goddess." "Do I need to remind you who Ishara is? The Goddess of Oaths; particularly military oaths," I added. "In case you missed it, I am implying that you have failed your ancestors;” and I went flying. Damn, Saint Marie was fast. I rolled as best as I could, ending bumping into Hayden's desk. No one said a word which I found tragically consistent. My follow-up pain wasn't 'Mare' induced. Spiritual flames consumed me internal organs, causing me to cry out in torment and vomit copious amounts of something. I was cradled inside a horror film as first my esophagus, then stomach and finally my intestines seemed to flush forth from my lips. The stench was beyond horrid; putrid and corrupt combined with the atrocious odor of bloated flesh left to rot in the Sun for weeks. Considering the minimal amount I had eaten on the flight home, I was even more baffled by what felt like 100 liter quantity of discharge. When the ordeal eventually ended, I half-rose then flopped backwards into darkness. I hurt. I hurt in the same way you have 'pins and needles', except mine were industrial capacity and giving it 110%. My head was resting at a slight incline and someone was flipping a lock of my bangs on and off my forehead. I opened my eyes into infinity; seriously worse agony consumed my brain pan. "That is too much for you to know, Cáel," she murmured. Those eyes had been feminine, just not in a human way and definitely filled with more joy and suffering than could be granted by a thousand lifetimes. The pain faded, so I tried the whole eye thing again. At the top of the lap that cradled my head was a really nice pair of boobs clothed in thin wool; lush, mature, yet firm like a young virgin's. "Thank you," she lilted. Mind-reading? "Do I want to know what has happened to me?" I groaned. I reached for a boob because if it was a toxin-induced delusion, what was the worst that can happen? "Careful, I haven't been with a male in 1800 years, my Preciously Odd Amazon," she laughed. "I like challenges," I bantered with my mental conjuration. Definitely mind-reading. "I am not the creation of your fevered dreams, my Cáel," she flicked my nose. "I have pushed you near death to place a curse on the Host. As a side benefit, I am able to have metaphysical contact with you." "To date you, I have to have a near-death experience? I don't know if I should admire 1800 years of male common sense, or that last guy who risked everything for one night with you," I shrugged. "So much compassion; and so little fear," she petted my scalp. "Since you clearly aren't getting into the name game and I am more than happy to doubt everything I've experienced in the past five minutes," I smiled at her, "what am I supposed to do?" "You know," she smiled back. "No, I don't," I insisted. "Something extra-concise that doesn't come from a fortune cookie." "I've always wanted to eat a fortune cookie," she looked away. "I'll start walking around with one in my pocket so next time you nearly kill me, you can indulge," I offered. "Save my people, Cáel," she placed her hand over my eyes. "Save their spirits." "A bit of help would be nice," I pressed forward blindly. "I've given you help," she whispered on my lips. Since I didn't consider that to be helpful, I opted to give a gentle twist to her nipple. Either something was really going on inside my head, acting as a conduit between me and something else, or I was experiencing a psychotic break with reality. If it was the former, I was a Class-A idiot. If it was the latter, it was me being me, rolling the dice with the pretty girl. "I wanted you to be brave," she laughed melodically, the echo of every woman I'd ever given a reason to sing out with joy, "yet now I find myself wishing you would expend a tiny bit more caution on my behalf." Sensing my dissatisfaction, she added "I cannot give you 'the' truth, so I will give you 'a' truth. Nothing is set in the future while much is foreseen." "As long as you know I've disappointed every women I've ever been with," I reminded her, my eyes still shielded and her lips tantalizingly close to mine. "Oh, you like to think you are selfish, Cáel Nyilas of Vranus and Ishara, but you justifiably take pride in the sensuality you bring to so many women's lives," she pointed out. "Many lovers are far more truthful yet far less giving," she said. "Pain heals while an education is forever," I countered. Another joyous note. "It is time for you to wake up, my Cáel," she sighed. "Go now." Wakefulness required a return to the putrid qualities of my current surroundings. I forced myself to my knees. No one did anything; no reaction, or assistance, so it fell to me to save myself. "What; what was that?" Troika nearly retched at the stench. Katrina stood, visibly pale and shaken. "Hayden?" Katrina requested of her leader. "Cáel, what have you done?" Hayden snapped. She also stood up so she could look down at me from her desk. I mumbled something. Even I wasn't sure what I was trying to say. The last touch of a lady far chillier than the one in Chicago caressed me and I knew the gist of what had happened. Why was I the one suffering at the hands of my Goddess? I was the easiest to get at because I was already devoted to her, her chosen children and I was Patron and Head of the house dedicated to her honor. The forecasted ass-kicking wasn't aimed at me, though. I was the necromantic shotgun barrel into this reality. Too many bitches had spat on me, her hand-picked patsy and punching bag, and her temper was beyond sending some vague signs and portents to the Host. I didn't know the particulars of this curse, yet I didn't doubt for a second it was both fiendishly evil and well-deserved. My jacket, shirt and tie were goners. The lower part of my tie which had been thoroughly drenched in my vomit was already decaying into filth, soon passing into nothingness. I tried speaking again. "Having exhibited no faith in me, you have committed apostasy to Ishara," issued the words from my acid-scared throat. "You are condemned to live with that choice. Good night." I fumbled and stumbled to Hayden's door, weakly opened one of the two double doors and left. The confrontation I had departed outside remained in force; Naomi and detail versus Rachel and Buffy. Helena, and a former 'Runner' named Madori who worked at Havenstone HQ with us, had not been sent up. "I am going home," I rasped. With no orders to keep me there, Naomi let me pass. Rachel and Buffy closed in. "Boss, you smell like;” Buffy searched for words. "A red tide," Rachel said. "All those dead fish floating on the water for days and days; it is that level of horrible smell." "Rachel," I stated as we got on the elevator, "thank you for the loyalty, intelligence and understanding you have given me in this trying time." "I am a member of the Host, Ishara. I would do no less for Hayden herself; but you are welcome," she sighed. "How about we postpone our date night until I've cleared up a few things with the Council and Ishara?" I suggested. Rachel nodded. I briefly talked to Helena over the phone, went with Buffy to the basement where she checked out a car then sat back as she drove me home. I must have looked like a disaster because Buffy didn't give me an ounce of grief. Home was home now. There was a house with my name on it now, but it wasn't my hearth; this mid-town, 'just above the poverty line' apartment was definitely home now. I would suspect that business travel was like a clothes dryer; you mystically pulled out less clothes than you put in. I was coming back with twice the amount of luggage I had departed with Odette would be home in an hour, so it was me and Timothy for a bit. "Hey Bro," Timothy greeted me. He set down one of those fanciful Asian vegetable mish-mashes that he liked from time to time, stood up and gave me a hug. "How bad was it?" "Let's just say I finished it up this evening by vomiting all over the Big Boss's rug, and that was the highlight of the trip," I mumbled. "That would explain your bare-chested look," Timothy snorted. I had been so out of it, I had spaced on the need to put on clothes like a normal human being. "Something to eat?" "Nah, my insides were spewed forth, so I'm foregoing food for a while," I mumbled. That reminded me. I went to the bathroom and gargled repeatedly with mouthwash. I could still smell the aromatic abomination, but at least I couldn't taste it anymore. "Do we want to go down the lists of women who have called you?" Timothy was trying to cheer me up. I wanted to be cheered up so I told him to go right ahead. Brooke and Libra; an immediate call back with the briefest of details; no weekend date for Brooke and I yet. Jason, the bar-back I had met chasing down Katy Lee, had called. I dialed his number and we had a short chat. He and his buddies were coming along well, I was invited back any time, and the Latin Kings had gotten the message because they hadn't been around since. I requested he and his friends keep their eyes open just in case and I'd be around for another pick-up game soon enough. Since most of those LK's were dead and the remainder scattered, I wasn't worried about Jason. Nikita; I called and she 'agreed' to come over. I was too fatigued to fight her off. Ulyssa called and I had to inform her that this weekend didn't look good for me; funeral and all. I initiated contact with Nicole. She was still wrapping up some of my business in Chicago and would be gone until Saturday morning. Timothy crashed for the evening, I was nibbling on some of his fodder and the doorbell rang. A check at the peephole revealed Nikita. She came in, hugged and I could sense something was definitely wrong. We were back to first date material. We hadn't been separated long enough; crap. I gave us space on the sofa. "That was incredibly fast," I groaned. "What tipped them off?" "What do you mean?" Nikita tried to scoot down the sofa to me. I held her off with one hand. "I am hardly one to uphold honesty in a relationship, but I normally consider it a selfish endeavor and not done for the benefit of a third, unrelated party," I sadly met her eyes. "Cáel, what do you?" Nikita stammered. "You are not a very good liar," I pointed out. "You are wearing a wire of some kind?" "Have you done something wrong?" Nikita evaded. "My loss," I moped. "All I wanted was the semblance of a normal life and now that's gone down the tubes." "Nikita, what do you want to drink?" I restarted the whole fiasco. Drinks were served and we kept to our separate ends of the sofa talking about mindless shit until Odette showed up. Then I could politely show Nikita the door and be with someone who did care about me. We made slow, passionate love. I gave her orgasms and giggles with the added benefit I felt more human when we finally fell asleep. (Friday) The morning started out with the same routine. I pulled up various routes for my bike ride into work, chose none of them and off I went in the pre-dawn dark blue/grey sky. I came within 20 seconds of my best time, so I was feeling pretty positive about what lay ahead. Security was a full 180 from their normally sour selves. "Good morning, Cáel Ishara," the security team (not Security Detail) leader greeted me. That was part 'thanks for letting my sister 'Runners' into a house' and 'maybe pick me next time.' "Good morning, Wilma Draper," I nodded back. I went to the counter and leaned in. I needed to fortify my supportive base and I knew how to do it. "You do realize I don't choose who joins House Ishara, don't you?" I addressed her softly yet loud enough for the two closest security women to hear. "You do not?" the woman appeared perplexed. "No," I shook my head in the negative. At that moment she wondered if this was a trick of the Council. Good girl. "The senior Amazons of House Ishara chose the next candidates. I make the ritual appeal to Ishara, of course. Selection remains in the hands of former 'Runners' who nominate the 'Runners' who have proven themselves. I was inspired to initiate Buffy and Helena because I had enough faith in them to believe they knew Havenstone and what House Ishara needed. The Amazons in the second ritual were all Buffy and Helena's choices. I think those two and the latest group Ishara has approved of, will make the perfect judges for picking future 'Runners' of accomplishment and worth; not only for House Ishara, but for the new Amazons who have risked everything for our People," I piled on the propaganda. She nodded. The two closest security guards nodded as well. Off I went to the gun range. With less than a minute worth of words, I had reinforced my perfection. I wasn't a male. I was a male with a passel of hardcore, praiseworthy Amazons working around me, insulating me from committing any errors and making all the important decisions while I behaved like a bobble-headed doll. The range was back to 'normal' except I could smell the chemicals this time out. Whatever concrete and surface coating substances they had used to repair my grenade-inspired damage left my nose with a terrible itch. I had a gun selection today. I had no instructor yet was hopeful. I packed up my 40 caliber, my back-up 3 80, the combat shotgun and my Personal Defense weapon then headed out. I patiently waited behind one of the stations, soaking up the view of medium gray yoga pants worn by a woman who presented a meticulously crafted, awesome bubble-butt to the world. After she finished off one magazine, the Amazons looked over her shoulder at me. Horn-dog time. The woman smiled as she motioned me forward. We put my weapons on the stand and prepared for school. "I am Wiesława of House Živa," she smirked playfully. By the Almighty, she had a thick Polish accent, rich lips, russet hair and 'come hither' eyes. I was prepping for some early 'nookie' time. "Hello, I am Ash Ketchum and I have an unhealthy relationship with free-roaming, anthropomorphic creatures," I replied as we clasped forearms Amazon-style. As Wiesława was trying to puzzle that out, an Amazon from an adjoining booth came over and punched me in the arm. I couldn't even recall this one's name though I knew that face and physique. "Stop that, Cáel," the woman chastised me. "She's new here." "I thought he was bringing me more weapons to use. Was this male being insolent?" Wiesława tried to put things in their proper place. "Should he be disciplined?" At least she wasn't taking me being beaten as her Goddess-given right. "No, Wiesława. This is Cáel Ishara, Head of House Ishara, he brought those weapons for His use and most likely came to your station looking for instruction," the unnamed Amazon stated. "Does this mean we are passed that whole 'grenade launcher' thing?" I inquired of the women. "We are not sure. For now we have decided to not pre-judge you since you remain consistently combative no matter what. Constanza is recovering," she tacked on. "Good," I grinned. "How soon can she return to duty? I imagine she makes a lousy patient." Pause. The 'Constanza' bit had been a test. I had a feeling that my emotional tendency to spare lives and show mercy was getting around. It wasn't the Amazon way, though it did mean Constanza would remain alive for a while longer when it was generally accepted she should not. "She will have to retrain her vision. Her doctors are hopeful," the woman responded. "That is for the best. I do hope there are no ill intentions toward Pamela," I warned her. "Such a vengeance would be personal and I would feel no obligation to treat those criminals as I would my fellow Amazons; are we clear?" "It has been made expressly clear that this issue is at an end," she bowed slightly. "Let us commit this to the 'nothingness'," was my suggestion. The two Amazons twitched. That was a phrase straight out of their cultural playbook. Both nodded, the familiar Amazon left and I turned back to Wiesława. "Do you still want a go at training me?" I asked the Pole. "Yes; yes, I would like that," she gave me a bright, toothy white smile. "I find you interesting." Off I went again. Wiesława was diligent and definitely 'hands-on'. Twenty minutes into the training one of my familiar SD firing partners showed up. "Don't let him take his clothes off," Felicité teased me. Her Congolese French contrasted erotically with Wiesława's Polish. "His clothes come off?" Wiesława seemed puzzled. "How is that accomplished?" "A deeply scientific, psychological process," Felicité teased my latest friend/fish in the barrel. "Cáel, take off your clothes," she commanded me. I gave her a haughty, condescending glare. "Please." My biking shirt came off first then my biking slippers and finally the shorts. "Your turn," I regarded Wiesława. She shot a look to Felicité. Her sports bra was millimeters from exposing her goodies when my Congolese tormentor stepped in. "You don't have to take off your clothes for him," she intervened. "But I like seeing you ladies naked," I protested. Felicité patted my package. "We like seeing you naked too. Now put on your pants before a hot shell casing creates yet another incident," Felicité teased me again. A great chasm of misunderstanding had been bridged since Friday. The grenade-launcher was part of it, yet I think Rachel and Velma were far more constructive than I could have been. Velma had seen me in crisis mode. I hadn't panicked. I had seen to my partner (though she was an inconsequential female) and been cool throughout the process in Katrina's office as Velma and her four team members had overheard. Rachel, Charlotte, Mona and Tiger Lily had probably given a different story; less professional and more human. That must have worked in my favor. A stone-cold bad-ass would have been more worrisome; a challenge. No, I had been shaken, irrational, brave and grieving. I had fought an assassin of the Nine Clans and not lost (thus not an embarrassment to a culture I didn't really belong to; until that moment). I had insulted the Condotteiri and the Seven Pillars, who were universally hated. I had been nice to the Earth and Sky and Illuminati, who they didn't like much, but could be handy if a war did break out. I had been 'friendly' to the Egyptians and Nine Clans, who the Amazon rank and file did approve of. The SD had no doubts; they were looking at a war. Unlike their leadership, the Security Detail was anticipating this, even anxious for the test. Fighting is what they spent their whole lives training for. Thirty years had passed since the last major clash between Havenstone and the others. For the youngest, this was the ultimate chance to prove their training had been perfect. For the oldest members of the SD, this was the culmination of a lifetime's devotion. 'Take themselves to the cliffs'? Not now. Now came the chance to make every burn, bullet hole, stab wound and piece of shrapnel worth it. Their Host lavished care and resources on the Security Detail; their Warrior Elite; and they were about to reward that glorification with a fervor only female's with 3000 years of martial tradition could match. Like me? Allowable yet not required. Respect me? Constanza was their lesson on respect. Obedience? No. Rachel had most assuredly related my contact with the 'Runners' and Buffy, so they could hit me like they could no other Head of Household; as long as it was 'appropriate'. Since they were not forced to give me full equality, they could stomach my 'almost' equality. Think of it as being able to punch your manager at work in the arm whenever you thought they were doing something stupid. Imagine how much worker morale would benefit. By stepping up and taking a punch, or two, I bought myself and House Ishara much more respect than a snippy insistence on etiquette would have ever done. Bringing 'Runners' into a First House? The SD wasn't jumping for joy. Here, the SD's sense of superiority worked in Ishara's favor. What did it matter to them that a few 'Runners' had been exalted to Full-blooded status? SD was the best of the best. That they were the best of the 'best available until now' hadn't occurred to them yet. All that circled back to Felicité playing with me, no one taking exception to me making a play for Wiesława and the return of the firing range to an educational platform for me. As I had told Oneida, 'defeat starts in the mind'. Along with that came 'Victory starts with a plan', and 'seize the moment'. I was aiming for seizing victory in the flesh. I bent over to put my pants back on. Since Felicité was departing for jobs-unknown, I ran the pants, and my hand, along Wiesława's inner right thigh. By the look in her eyes when I was finished, she didn't mind in the slightest. At the end of my allotted time period, my marksmanship had improved and Wiesława was mine for the taking. What bothered me was that it felt too easy somehow. Weird huh; that 'easy' would bother me. "You don't hang around men much?" I questioned the Pole as the weapons were being put away. "No," she sighed. "The last male in my hold died eight years ago. That is one reason I was re-assigned here," she informed me. "What department are you with?" I asked as we waited on the elevator. "Security Detail," she answered. "Fantastic," I murmured. "Elsa is a great boss. The two of us get along great." "Really? That is good news," Wiesława sounded upbeat. "How close are you?" Hint, hint. "Like the Cobra and the Mongoose," I grinned. Into the elevator we went. "I'll let you figure out which is which." "You are the Cobra," she patted my thinly covered cock. Yay! No personal boundaries. Less I forget I was still on the list of approved prey animals the door opened on the first floor and Brielle, her buddy, and Oneida stepped onboard. I had no clue where Wiesława was supposed to go. I guessed she was along for the ride. "Good morning, Cáel," Brielle greeted me before licking my left nipple. Wiesława was confused; could she have been licking me, and getting licked by me, half an hour ago? "What are you doing?" Oneida squawked. "Yum; someone has been to the gun range this morning," Brielle smiled at me. "Oh, and; sorry about your paternal person," she hastily added. "They are called Fathers," I sighed. To defuse Oneida, I slipped a hand to the small over her back then wiggled three fingers between the top of her skirt and panties. It was 'dangerous' enough to give her pause before going after the other women. "It is good to see your new, exalted status hasn't gone to your head, Cáel Ishara," Brielle looked very naughty. "Sisters first, last and always," I responded. "I'm not going to take credit for my ancestors being kick ass." "They must have been very courageous women," Wiesława stated. I snorted. "Wiesława, my Ishara lineage goes down the male side of the family, so those lethal ancestors were all male," I chided her. "When the Dacian-Thracians moved into the region, they joined with those tribes fighting the Celts. Later, they joined with the Dacian kings and fought against the Romans. Germans, Avars, Bulgars and finally the Magyars came their way; my ancestors impressed them all enough to be accepted. I know this because my Father's name was Nyilas, which means Archer in the Magyar tongue. We were fighters under the Arpad dynasty the same way we had gone to war with our Amazon War leaders thousands of years earlier. I also know this because of my bloodline; if the female folk had been raped, the bloodline would have perished," I explained. "Where exactly was your family from?" Wiesława inquired. "My grandfather said we Nyilas' were from Székelys Lands in Northern Romania," I replied. "My great-grandfather grew up under the Romanian King, hated it and died fighting as a Hungarian soldier against the Soviets in World War II," I continued. "That is why my great-grandmother took her children and came to America. They had lost their homeland in her opinion. Dad said she was bitter until the day she died," I sighed over my forerunners intransience. "She even wanted to be buried at her home town of Szászrégen," I let them know. "That never happened." The elevator door opened, I waved good-bye to friends new and old then raced to Katrina's bathroom. Katrina was at her desk, working away. "Cáel," Katrina acknowledged my passage with a wave of her hand. "Hayden and I have been examining a list of possible; " "That boat has sailed, Katrina," I cut her off. "I'll take care of my business without Hayden's help, thank you very much. I know you tried to warn her. I should have known there was no use dealing with the Council in any way, shape, or form. There isn't." I paused. "Tell your allies that there will be many in House Ishara and Warrior-Fathers too." "Aren't you worried in the least?" Katrina requested. "We both know that some of these bitches want to face their end like the lead characters in a Wagnerian opera. All we can do is remind them they are traitors to their Race, not patriots to some modern day concoction of a cult of gender blood purity," I stated, "as we work to save our people." "Those 'Old Guard' broads have forgotten what an Amazon is supposed to be," I explained. "And a man is going to show us the way?" Katrina studied me with emotionless intent. "Yes," I muttered. "A man who prefers love over hate and counts his worth by the lives he saves, not the one's he takes." "Do you ever fear this 'softness' will weaken your masculinity?" Katrina mused. That hurt; not because of her words, which could be true for any man. It hurt because the bastion against such thinking had just died. "My only fear is that I won't live up to my father's example," I responded. "Not only as a man and a father in my time, but as a human being," I delved into the wounded portion of my soul. "He never went to college, served in the military, or even got into a fight until that last minute of his life. He covered for co-workers with family issues, never failed to answer a call out to work in inclement weather, and did all that normal boring shit few here even understand. He let me be weak and let me be strong. His greatest lesson was that no matter where my life led, I had to take responsibility for it. The strong ask for help. The weak ask for someone to do the task for them. Love is not a word. Love is the star you chart your life by. The worst weakness is letting fear stop you from pursuing what you want. That is what I have to measure up to," I finished. In the interim, several of the new hires showed up and were observing the spiel. "I would think he would be happy if you measured up to what you wanted out of life," Katrina said. "I aim to do both," I grinned. I went to the bathroom and quickly changed into my work attire. The meeting started on time with the additional of a gnat-bite; Dora was two minutes late. At the time, nothing seemed out of sorts to me. It was a day on the job with Rosette. Around 3:30 pm, Pamela stopped our knife training (her with her wand and me with my weighted, wooden blade). She went to the corner of the room, ran her finger along the central point and drew back a finger with dust on it. She raised the finger so I could clearly see it. "It's dust?" I shrugged. "Normally they do a much better job," Pamela noted and back to training we went. The nightmare became real with one phrase in common usage: 'I'll get to it when I can', one Runner told Desiree when Desiree gave her a task. One of the most fascinating things in my book about Havenstone was that it hummed along like a well-oiled, organic machine. Tasks were completed, back-ups were always on call, and promptness wasn't a virtue; I was the absolutely expected. "What did you say?" Desiree asked for confirmation. "I said I'll get right on it," the woman sighed. I caught the look in Desiree's eyes. Something was wrong, but she couldn't put a name to it. Oaths and obligations; the lubricant for patently lethal Amazon society. Those words tossed out without too much consideration were now fraying around the edges. This wasn't the Plague, boils, lesions, leprosy, rickets, or the Home Loan bubble bursting. Those you could fight. How did you counter the devaluation of someone's word? Ishara's curse was crawling toward a very bad end unless I did something, but what? Personal respect would remain. Hierarchy? Amazons would begin to question why they were prioritizing their lives around someone they didn't know, or knew and didn't like. We weren't at that final destination, yet it was coming, and best of all, every woman in the company had a weapon, or quick access to one. A phone call grabbed me before I went in for the 'end of day' meeting. It was Brooke. "Christopher Cáel-umbos," I murmured. "Economy Class Oriental tours. How may I help you?" Laughter; and more than Brooke's. "Libra and I were getting ready to head out to the Hamptons and wanted to give you one last chance to come along," Brooke pleaded. An impressive dicking indeed. Thousands of reasons not to go; safety, responsibility, risk for other; "Sure, I'd love to come along. Can you pick me up at Havenstone at 6:10 pm? We'll make a quick run to my place to pick up some stuff and then head out, unless that's too late?" I offered. "See you then, Cáel," Brooke purred. "See you," Libra called out as well. It was a loathsome indicator of how out of control my life was ; that me, a working class kid, was going on a romp with two rich, high society girls to some mansion for a weekend of hedonistic fun; because that was more 'normal' than my week had been. I entered the meeting, took my teasing and made for the gym. This hour was devoted to a hardcore workout and nothing but. Rapid repetitions, quick shifts, rolling through the muscle groups. Even a few of the dedicated lifters gave me appreciative looks. I didn't have the time today. I hit the showers and made the doors before I hit a snag. Security held me up yet again. They seemed nervous, so I asked and got a bottled water and made some jokes. These ladies were going to be my allies, damn it, before I was done. Troika caught up with me a minute later. She extended a handful of round, brownish-yellow balls in a necklace. Each ball had a symbol inscribed on it. "We received this and a message this morning," she snapped. "We have decided to reject it." "It is horse-hoof," Pamela whispered in my ear. The gears went spinning. There was one person I knew who would send me keratin scrimshaw jewelry. Those nasty bitches were piling on the stupid. I looked it over; it was old, maybe going as far back as Timur aka Tamerlane to the English-speaking world. The 'cord' was made of hair; probably horse tail hair. I had no reciprocal gift to offer; absolutely nothing this valuable. But wait, I did! Somewhere there was a Havenstone bureau, department, or office that hung on to the artifacts ALL the Houses had accumulated over the passage of years. Some of that shit was mine; Ishara's. Our house had expired before the colonies became states. That still equated to a long period of pack-ratting. I'd put a minion on it right away! I'd pray that they didn't have plans for the weekend; later. "It arrived this morning and you are only giving it to me now?" I grumbled. "That message was meant for me, not for any of the rest of you. Where is the rest of it? Oh, and you're on the list." "It was consumed in its examination," Troika blatantly lied. "You have a visual copy," Pamela sounded bored. "Give it to him." "I do not carry such things around on a handheld device," Troika parried. "Ah; that's theft," Pamela gave a slender grin. "Just so we are clear." "If Cáel Ishara wished to put forth such an accusation to Hayden, I will be prepared to defend my actions," Troika gave a hostile glare right back. "That won't be necessary," I snorted. "I'm good. Pamela, I'm out for the weekend. Have fun." I turned and walked away. "Count the days, Troika," Pamela menaced. "I'm not afraid," she countered. "I don't care, but in 21 days, Cáel's ban on internal conflict will be at an end. Like me, he will not go to a corrupted Hayden for justice. We will be exacting it in our own way and in our own time. That you should worry about," Pamela gave a tilt of the head, a feral grin and joined me in departing. In Hittite, she said; "A matron, 21 Runners and one archaic mistake," Troika joked. In Hittite, she said; "But how many more 'Runners' can he recruit between now and then?" one of Troika's bodyguards worried. "More than enough to raise your daughters after you are all gone and forgotten," Pamela shouted over her shoulder. (Starting Friday Evening in the Wrong Damn Place) Waiting outside for me were two beauties and a small car. I hefted my bike, detached the front wheel for easier storage and climbed into the Lilliputian backseat. "Sorry," Libra in the passenger seat sounded embarrassed. "I'm not sure Brooke and I thought this through. Do you have a seat belt?" She was referring to the rear-mounted cup holder I was sitting in. "This is not rated for human occupation," I grinned back. What that really meant was there were three conflicting emotions pulling events along. Wanting me to fuck them; the easy one. Loyalty to your social/sorority sister; the relationship under stress. Me being a 'suitable' human being; the one that they were both stumbling toward which made the second emotional force such a problem. Had I solely been a fuck toy for either one, the other could have gracefully exited the field (with the occasional sharing). I was far from 'husband' material yet I was closing in on being the 'crossing a crowded club to greet me' kind of guy; already passed the 'not embarrassed to introduce me to their friends' phase. "You can sit in my lap," Brooke offered. With her driving and our height differential; we'd be lucky to be pulled by the PD before we wrecked. "How about you drive, I sit in Libra's seat and she sits in my lap?" I offered. "That's no fun," Brooke shot me a pout. "It sounds like fun for me," Libra giggled. "Now Libra remember, for the seat belt to be effective, you will have to sit facing me;” I sighed. "Facing you?" she winked. "Yes; facing me naked," I assured her. "Hey!" Brooke protested. "How come she gets to be naked in your lap?" "Otherwise me being naked would be pretty pointless," I explained. "Libra," Brooke demanded, "you get to drive." Petty arguments and playful exchanges followed. I left a message for Timothy and Odette, letting them know I was heading out to some address on the far end of Long Island. I even shot myself in the foot with the Nerf gun and told Timothy so he'd feel better. Brooke and Libra were dressed similarly. Red and khaki almost 'short-shorts', white/yellow bikini tops under white wife-beaters covered with a denim shirt (sleeves rolled up) and white cargo short-sleeved shirt, tennis socks and canvas shoes. In a way, I was a victim of my own success. Both ladies wanted to fuck me bad, but their desire to prove to me I was more than a fuck toy meant I didn't get sex at my place. If you are a girl, that will make much more sense. The car ride out was an issue. If I drove, Brooke and Libra promised to put on a Sapphic display for the ages. If Libra drove, I promised to publically molest Brooke at every stop. The reverse went for Brooke driving. The solution was that the girls would take turns driving and I would be a truly diligent cunnilinguist, with a strong background as an anatomically astute Braille harpsichord player. Our destination turned out to be the hamlet of Sagaponack, aka the most expensive place to live in the United States. Why was I doing this to myself? For starters, Brooke thought our host, Brennan Sulkanen, lived in one of those $50+ million homes; funny, I thought those were called estates. The girls laughed when I told them that. My utter lack of forethought, underutilized intelligence gathering capabilities, and even not acting my age were coming back to chew a huge hunk off my heine now. Brennan was a fraternity brother of Trent; warning indicator #1. Brennan didn't actually do anything, but his father was loaded; situation getting worse. Brennan was the youngest of the three sons from the first marriage with three other children from two other marriages waiting in the wings. A quick search revealed that the third and current Mrs. Sulkanen, was very elegant for a thirty-two year old lady. His current Mom being the same age as his oldest brother could be an issue. I was living proof how good parenting could help build up a child. Improper parenting; could do the opposite. Nothing was guaranteed though. "So, why are we going to Brennan's?" I hazarded to inquire as we cruised down Highway 27 through East Patchogue. In the back of my mind, I realized I was due south of scenic Doebridge and their frisky policewomen/Stasi law enforcers. "Oh, we met in college when I came up for one of Trent's; that loser; frat functions," she told us. "He was very drunk and tried to hit on me," the tale continued. "How and where did he 'hit' on you?" I prodded. "He stumbled into the Ladies' room, knocked my drink over and tried to give me his, but I was insulted by his inebriated pawing and left," Brooke said. Lone drunk men DO stumble into Ladies' rooms; usually to vomit. Frat brothers hit on each other's girls; men are pigs. Greeks are pigs with tie pins and secret handshakes. Drunk people do not demolish another person's drink then offer up their own. The spilling of alcohol is a drink-worthy event which you can't do if you have given your drink away. Man math: Brennan stalked Brooke, ambushed her in the bathroom and tried to roofie her with his drink because our host was a dirt bag and a total ass-bandit. How had I failed to do some basic 4 1 1 on this bastard? Oh yeah, brought an extinct First House to life, multiple threats to my well-being, treated like crap by most of my co-workers and then my father was murdered. "I repeat; why are we going to this guy's house?" I asked. "He's been persistent ever since Trent bailed and he sounds so worried about me," she answered. "Oh, I don't want you to think I'm using you as Brennan-deterrent, Cáel," she added. "I wanted to get out of the city and be with you; and Libra." I was more than Brennan-deterrent alright. I was a 'Highway Closed Indefinitely' sign for his edification. This was okay with Brooke (and me) because of all the sex we were going to have. "Thanks," Libra teased her pal. My dilemma was that despite all the positive emotions wafting my way, I wasn't one of 'them' yet. I couldn't simply say 'this dude is a scumbag. Let's go somewhere else.' This was going to take some tact and pretty much annihilated my hopes for a weekend to unwind. I had to play nice and at the first opportunity pull our host aside and politely inform him that I was going to floss his teeth with his still functioning intestines if any of us partook of something we hadn't asked for, ended up in some spot we hadn't wanted to go to, and/or doing something we didn't want to do. My diplomatic approach was from some movie that was way before CGI. It was ('you' meaning 'me': 'I want you to be nice; until it is time; to not be nice.') I was going to give Brennan's survival instincts the benefit of the doubt. I felt certain he wasn't enchanted with the idea of personal pain and I was going to let him know there wasn't a bank account deep enough to protect him from my wrath. If there was ever any doubt; I'm an idiot. We pulled up to the gate right before eight. Yes; one of those nice wrought-iron, automatic opening double gates. Brooke answered the security screen and in we went. Two people, definitely staff, met us as we parked. There was six cars present already, all variations of the high-performance, turbo-charged, 'Daddy/Mommy don't love me so they gave me this deathtrap instead' ideal. Cargo space? Fuel efficiency? Excessive safety features? Not a concern for this crowd. There was a momentary bout of confusion as the male staffer came for my baggage. I thanked him. He looked at me funny. Brooke insisted the female staffer give directions to where her/Libra's luggage was going so I did the same with the guy. My stuff was not only not heading to Brooke's room, I was being banished to another branch of this sprawling villa. "Take my stuff to their room," I directed the man. "Sir, a different room has been set aside for the gentleman," he insisted. "Oh; okay," I nodded. I took my bags from him, much to his surprise, and followed the 'maid'. Brooke and Libra laughed at my obstinacy and tagged along. Our introduction to the 'pack' was delayed and, by his look, Brennan wasn't happy with my detour. I wasn't happy either, but for a different reason. "Brooke; Libra, right? Cecil?" he clearly was disrespecting me straight out of the gates. Brooke and Libra said 'hi'. I was a little less diplomatic and I was staring down the barrels of a serious crimp in my main battle plan. There were two dissipated young ladies, three men of the same caliber and two guys I identified hangers-on. Most likely rich; just not rich enough to be treated as equals by the majority. Then there was this one girl who was certainly the unsuspecting party favor. You can learn all kinds of thing about the darker side of male-female relationships at Spring Break if you pay attention. The vacation can be wonderful, but seeing fuck-head bottom-feeders getting girls wasted for the eternal glory of Girls Gone Wild and the ability to stick their prick into someplace it doesn't belong, and they haven't earned the right to be in, truly sucks. For the moment, I had to look past her. The focus of my anxiety was a couple, both African-American and from a different mold than everyone else there. I knew the guy because he was somewhat famous. "Hey Bitch," I replied in an off-handed manner. "What?" Brennan hammed up his confusion. The 'Home Alone' gasp. What had he done wrong? "What?" I responded. "Did you just call me a 'bitch'?" he clarified. "No," I lied. "I didn't even know you were talking to me. Hi, I'm Cáel Nyilas. Who are you again?" "I think you called me a bitch," Brennan watched his whole weekend plan to dispose of me coming gift wrapped here in the opening round. He looked to the 'famous' guy. I am an idiot. "Well, with your family money, I'm sure you can hire top notch Otolaryngologist to handle that hearing problem of yours," I grinned. "Orlando, what do you think Kibble here said?" Brennan indicated the guy. "Orlando Keyes," I smiled. "Man, you are one mean son of a bitch. That fighter from Ecuador; missed his name; you broke his left cheek with one hit during that MMA bout in New Orleans last Thanksgiving. The only thing almost as impressive was that guy managed to stand up afterwards." No, I wasn't buttering this guy up. There was no point. I only knew about him because the whole 'martial ardor' doesn't have to be yours to get some tail. Girls who like watching physical combat; MMA, Kick-boxing, Boxing, and the NHL (WWE if they are somewhat gullible); will jump on your bones at the completion of that match. "I think this cunt called you his bitch," Orlando came my way. I gently pushed Brooke and Libra aside to give me space. "You are mistaken," I kept smiling at Orlando. "I was calling that lady over there," I pointed at the lady he had been talking to, "my bitch for tonight. The acoustics in this place must suck." Outdoor pool; the Atlantic Ocean crashing less than 100 meters away; this place rocked. "You are going to die," Brennan laughed at me. Keyes kept coming. "Right, or left?" I asked him in a pleasant tone. He glared yet hesitated. "What does it matter?" Orlando studied me. He had stopped being a hired thug and returned to being a modern day gladiator. "I'm packing so I wanted to know which knee you can live without," I stated. "He's got a gun?" one of the other males mumbled. "Gun?" Orlando's eyes narrowed. "Knife," I corrected. At this point, everyone but Orlando and I felt better. In that snippet, Orlando and I exchanged a vital piece of information; I was going to hurt him. No matter what he did, I was going to put a knife into him. How did he know? I had warned him and I laughed at Death. I wasn't bluffing and Orlando made his life's work piercing his opponent's deceptions. "That's my fiancé," Orlando grumbled. I extended my hand. "I apologize then," I said as he shook my hand. "That was rude of me and uncalled for. Not only is she one of the classiest ladies here, she was hanging out with you, a man not known for accepting anything short of the perfect match. Besides," I whispered, "we both know who I was truly talking about." Orlando wasn't happy with me, or forgiven me. What he did accept was that I'd given him an out. I had backed down and apologized. Brennan was frowning. Orlando and I didn't care; we were both fighters and we'd both ponied up on the promise of pain. If there was to be a conflict, he wasn't going to do it for Brennan. He was going to do it because he always wanted to know how tough the other guy really was. Names floated around. The only people that mattered to me were Anima and Casper. Anima was Brennan's 'girlfriend' which I translated as a debauchery enabler. She was under the delusion that life was boring and pointless, so she should punish the world for her ennui. Her life's cup had been emptied at twenty-three? Bitch, I worked with real women who couldn't even consider such nonsense. Casper; Casper was going to be a problem. For starters, Anima had taken Casper under her wing; was going to show Casper the 'ropes'. Casper proudly proclaimed that. Casper was also not as rich as the 'in crowd' and not a hanger-on; she was the weekend's amusement, or would have been if Brooke hadn't shown up. And, of course, she couldn't see the danger, she was so eager to be with the super-rich. After the name game came the initial party shuffle. Who was aiming for whose bedroom tonight and how would they get what they wanted. Brennan sent two backup boys cruising for Libra while he angled in for Brooke. Anima and Casper were supposed to keep me busy. Libra promptly showed she'd thumbed through my Book of Social Fugliness. "I only date real men," she shredded the 'second-stringers' to pieces. The blast socially staggered them. "If you have to think about it, boys, you are not a man. Don't strain yourself trying to be something you can't even comprehend. Now one of you go get me a drink while I think about what Cáel and I are going to do to Brooke tonight." In social parlance, that was shooting someone with both barrels of a shotgun then using the stock to tenderize the remains. That was one flank secure. Next, Casper and Anima. Anima had the feeling I didn't like her; good for her. "Would you really have cut Orlando?" Casper asked me softly while she ran a fingernail over my right forearm. "Casper, to begin with, call him Mr. Keyes. There will come a time when you can freely use his first name, but you ain't there yet," I cautioned her. "To answer your question: yes, I would have sliced down and across, cutting his right hamstring." Keyes heard me, as I had intended. "Brennan says you are a co-worker of Trent," Anima cooed. "Kind of," I shrugged. "Trent is a big-shot with the Far East Unit while I remain in Personnel in the city (Manhattan)." They both looked disappointed then Casper handed me a plum. She wasn't stupid, just willfully blind. "Where did you learn to use a knife then?" Casper tried to 'salvage' me. She was doing herself a favor by trying to make me look better to the rest; doing me a favor. Nice. "I'm with the Records Redaction Unit of Havenstone's Executive Services," I lied. Blink. "That doesn't make any sense," Casper's brow furrowed. "You delete records?" "No Casper," I returned her arm rub, "someone creates a list with names on it. I am part of the team that reduces the number of those names on that list to zero." Blink. "You fire people?" she remained uncertain. She had to believe I was playing with her, which I was. "No," I shook my head. "That implies extra paperwork. We take a more ergonomic approach. No termination rigmarole; no traceable termination at all." "That sounds vaguely like you murder people," Anima murmured. "Murder is a crime. Converting all the data of a given person into one, misplaced file is a way of circumventing the whole 'exit interview/providing references for other jobs/pension' process." If you believed that this nation, nay, the whole world, was run by soulless corporate monsters that made scary sense. "What do you do with the people?" Anime was showing the tiniest bit of enthusiasm for this conversation. "What people? People have names," I smiled. "Bodies with no records are normally handled as John and Jane Does and are buried in Potter's Field, or used at medical schools." "Do you enjoy sex with multiple partners?" Anima smiled; veering the conversation off in a different dir
Cáel's tombstone: For the love of women, women put him here.In 25 parts, edited from the works of FinalStand.Listen and subscribe to the ► Podcast at Connected..
Then He spoke to them a parable: "Look at the fig tree, and all the trees.
Welcome to this special episode of the NeurologyLive® Mind Moments® podcast. Tune in to hear leaders in neurology sound off on topics that impact your clinical practice. For major FDA decisions in the field of neurology, we release short special episodes to offer a snapshot of the news, including the main takeaways for the clinical community, as well as highlights of the efficacy and safety profile of the agent in question. In this episode, we cover the recent approval of Avadel's sodium oxybate formulation (Lumryz) as a treatment for pediatric patients with narcolepsy aged 7 years and older. The new indication expands on its previous one, granted in May 2023, which included the the treatment of cataplexy or excessive daytime sleepiness in adults with narcolepsy. It's initial approval was based on data from the phase 3 REST-ON trial (NCT02720744), a large-scale study in which the therapy met all 3 of its primary end points of change from baseline in mean sleep latency on the Maintenance of Wakefulness test, Clinical Global Impression Improvement, and weekly cataplexy attacks. Following its new indication, NeurologyLive sat down with Anne Marie Morse, DO, FAASM, a pediatric sleep disorders expert, to discuss the significance of the new approval. Morse, director of Child Neurology and Pediatric Sleep Medicine at Geisinger Janet Weis Children's Hospital as well as the program director for Child Neurology Residency Program, provided commentary on the clinical considerations behind this once-nightly formulation of sodium oxybate, and how it should be used going forward. For more of NeurologyLive's coverage of sodium oxybate's (Lumryz) expanded indication, head here: FDA Approves Avadel's Sodium Oxybate for Cataplexy or Excessive Daytime Sleepiness in Pedatric Narcolepsy Episode Breakdown: 2:10 – Immediate reaction and significance 4:10 – Considerations and caution with prescribing sodium oxybate 8:20 – Closing remarks and the need to utilize highly effective treatments for narcolepsy Thanks for listening to the NeurologyLive Mind Moments podcast. To support the show, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. For more neurology news and expert-driven content, visit neurologylive.com.
A new MP3 sermon from Providence Gospel Church is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Mournful Sleepiness/ Hopeful Wakefulness Subtitle: Morning and Evening Speaker: C. H. Spurgeon Broadcaster: Providence Gospel Church Event: Devotional Date: 9/24/2024 Bible: Song of Solomon 5:2 Length: 2 min.
A new MP3 sermon from Providence Gospel Church is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Mournful Sleepiness/ Hopeful Wakefulness Subtitle: Morning and Evening Speaker: C. H. Spurgeon Broadcaster: Providence Gospel Church Event: Devotional Date: 9/24/2024 Bible: Song of Solomon 5:2 Length: 2 min.
A new MP3 sermon from Providence Gospel Church is now available on SermonAudio with the following details: Title: Mournful Sleepiness/ Hopeful Wakefulness Subtitle: Morning and Evening Speaker: C. H. Spurgeon Broadcaster: Providence Gospel Church Event: Devotional Date: 9/24/2024 Bible: Song of Solomon 5:2 Length: 2 min.
Today, Craig and Arielle unpack the often mystifying world of newborn sleep—those crucial first three months. The inspiration for this episode was Craig's new niece, who was 2 weeks old at the time of recording. Whether you're navigating the unpredictable waters of infant sleep or just curious about what's normal, this episode promises to arm you with the insights you need to feel a bit more in control—or at least to understand that sometimes, chaos is just part of the parenting package. [00:00:00] Introduction and disclaimer [00:01:09] Welcoming listeners back and introducing the episode's focus on newborn sleep [00:02:12] Discussion on the erratic nature of newborn sleep [00:03:22] Personal story about sleep expectations with a newborn [00:08:21] Explanation of active sleep in newborns and advice for parents [00:10:41] Impact of external factors like maternity and paternity leave on sleep [00:14:26] Transition to detailed discussion on sleep cues and signs of tiredness in newborns [00:21:08] Exploring the science of sleep cycles and the development of circadian rhythms [00:26:35] Discussion on the "witching hour" and strategies to cope with it [00:32:23] Month-by-month sleep development and expectations [00:37:38] Review of sleep tools and technologies affecting newborn sleep [00:42:35] Closing remarks and where to find more resources Notable Quotes: Craig Canapari MD: "Things will get better with time, even if you're really struggling. It's funny, my older son was one of those babies that we took him home from the hospital. My wife had a c-section the first night. And he slept six hours overnight." Arielle Greenleaf: "I think one of the biggest things I wish I had known back in the day was I didn't know really about active sleep. And so I think when she was coming, she's going through that, what did you call it?" Arielle Greenleaf: "I always tell newborn parents, don't rush. They will tell you if they need you. They will, they have lungs and they can scream." Craig Canapari MD: "A newborn, that could be anywhere from 13 to 14 hours per or 20 hours within a 24 hour period. So if you have a baby who's natural sleep needs at that point is 20 hours a day, you are gonna feel like a parenting genius." Links and Resources: Sleep and Wakefulness by Nathaniel Kleitman Why room sharing is important for safe sleep AAP Safe Sleep Guidelines Period of purple crying How many wet diapers per day Happiest Baby on the Block Bringing up Bebe- and Le Pause Wirecutter article on the SNOO Connect with Us! Send us an email about questions, feedback, or ideas for future topics.
Cameron is back, and he has some questions about the Olivet Discourse, particularly the way that Jesus calls us to “stay awake.” In this episode, he and Mark unpack the meaning of that term, and explore the new perspective it lends to how we should wait for Christ's return. Instead of being passively attentive, what if Jesus is calling us to a more active form of wakefulness?
Its okay to be a dented can / de-mything the sacred texts / in whatever you shine in, you become an influencer / our karma gives us a recipe for future experiences / as changing aromas are evidence of the air that carries them, changing states of awareness are evidence of the soul that experiences them / just as one knows all things made of clay by knowing a piece of clay, one can know everything by knowing Krishna / our material experience is like a bad dream (unwanted and temporary) SB 7.7.25-27
Its okay to be a dented can / de-mything the sacred texts / in whatever you shine in, you become an influencer / our karma gives us a recipe for future experiences / as changing aromas are evidence of the air that carries them, changing states of awareness are evidence of the soul that experiences them / just as one knows all things made of clay by knowing a piece of clay, one can know everything by knowing Krishna / our material experience is like a bad dream (unwanted and temporary) SB 7.7.25-27
In this edition of Insomnia Insight, Coach Daniel reveals a new way of explaining a level of struggles that truly matter. We also look at three levels of meeting struggles to set yourself up for peaceful sleep. Would you like to take our FREE 'Ready-to-Sleep in 5 days' mini-course? If you said "Duh" then simply tap this link: https://www.thesleepcoachschool.com/r... Would you like to work with one of our certified sleep coach? Awesome! Here are some great options: The Insomnia Immunity Group Coaching Program. BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android offering 1:1 text based coaching. Zoom based 1:1 coaching with Coach Michelle or Coach Daniel. The Insomnia Immunity program is perfect if you like learning through video and want to join a group on your journey towards sleeping well. BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket. The 1:1 Zoom based program is for you if you like to connect one on one with someone who has been where you are now. Find out more about these programs here: https://www.thesleepcoachschool.com/ Do you like learning by reading? If so, here are two books that offer breakthroughs! Tales of Courage by Daniel Erichsen https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Courage-... Set it & Forget it by Daniel Erichsen https://www.amazon.com/Set-Forget-rea... — Would you like to become a Sleep Hero by supporting the Natto movement on Patreon? If so, that's incredibly nice of you
When Nina fell pregnant she could no longer use the medication she relied upon to get her through occasional periods of insomnia. Her sleep got worse and insomnia seemed to take over her life. Nothing seemed to work and Nina felt stuck. After discovering the Insomnia Coach podcast, Nina realized she wasn't alone. She felt hope. When she enrolled as a client, she started to make change happen. She changed her approach to sleep. She stopped trying to make sleep happen. She changed her response to insomnia. She did things that mattered every day, independently of sleep. The journey wasn't easy — but today, Nina enjoys her bed again. She is being the mom she wants to be. She is doing the work she loves. She has her life back from insomnia. Watch/listen to this episode
Join Premium! Ready for an ad-free meditation experience? Join Premium now and get every episode from ALL of our podcasts completely ad-free now! Just a few clicks makes it easy for you to listen on your favorite podcast player. Become a PREMIUM member today by going to --> https://WomensMeditationNetwork.com/premium Once upon a time, in a world far removed from the hustle and bustle of our own, there existed a realm known as the Land of Sleepy Magic. This enchanting place was a world where dreams merged seamlessly with reality, where the borders between what was and what could be blurred into a shimmering, twilight existence. It was a realm where imagination had no limits and the night was more than just a void of darkness; it was a canvas for creation, a playground for the subconscious mind. In this wondrous land, a gentle breeze carried the softest lullabies, and the moon, a radiant pearl, cast its soothing glow upon the earth. The air was sweet with the scent of lavender and jasmine, and the grass underfoot was the softest, most inviting carpet. It was a place that beckoned you to close your eyes and drift away into a world of dreams, where the line between waking and slumber was tantalizingly thin. Raja, a weary traveler from the bustling city of Wakefulness, found himself wandering through this mystical realm one serene evening. He had grown tired of the noise and chaos of his waking life and yearned for a respite, a place where the cacophony of thoughts and responsibilities could be hushed, if only for a while.
Heaven & Mercy calludeA Spring Break 14-part Novel.By FinalStand. Listen to the complete episode at Steamy Stories.*Anyone can be who they want to be; the challenge is being who you need to be*Can Zane go 24 hours without sex?My journey to the Dining Hall this Wednesday was enlivened by carrying, bridal style, a sophomore named Courtney while playing out a scene from Tristan and Isolde. I had Rhaine, Joy, and Mercy as escorts/minders, but Rhaine was now defining her responsibility as keeping me from misbehaving, not stopping me, and the other students from having fun.Tristan and Isolde was some kind of chick-flick taken from a Wagnerian play so technically it wasn't on the ‘banned' list. With me was the added bonus that it wasn't homo-erotic (being a guy in a romantic relationship with a girl, in the play) and that I could actually carry Isolde in my arms.A larger than normal crowd had gathered for my dutiful performance and while I generally received rave reviews, I did catch a few girls talking about redoing the skit with a Sampson and Delilah theme. I pledged to avoid girls with shears like the plague. We bunched up around one of the entrances to the Dining Hall as I finished our script and carefully placed her back on her feet.Among the scattering of applause and the press of bodies, I felt Mercy stumble into me. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open in surprise, and her breathing was coming in ragged gasps. My answer came when I looked over her shoulder and saw Rio, looking very casual but pumping her arm rapidly against Mercy's back.When we got into the food line, Rio smirked and began sucking her forefinger which was sticky and slick.“Seriously, in the middle of the crowd? You just couldn't resist?” I teased her.“Next I'm sticking in the butt plug,” she whispered in a conspiratorial manner. “I have it in my book bag and I'm jumping her after BA. Do you want to help?”“I'd rather face dismemberment than break Iona's schedule,” I sighed quietly.“Some He-Man you are,” she giggled. “You'll go five rounds with Gorman but Iona has you pussy-whipped.”“If I have to go, I could hardly pick a better woman,” I responded, and wrapped an arm around Iona's waist and rested my hand on her hip.“Yes, Zane?” Iona looked up at me with an exotic combination of innocence and genius.“Rio reminded me how lucky we are to have you with us,” was my answer.“Oh, that's nice,” Iona beamed up at me. “I thought it had something to do with Rio putting her hand under Mercy Chaplain's skirt.” I chuckled and Rio grumbled.“I have glasses,” Iona stated, “I'm not blind.”“Did anyone else notice?” I inquired.“No. I think Rio was pretty smooth, but if experience has taught me anything, it is Rio who is going to be the troublemaker, not you, Zane,” Iona stated calmly. “I was paying attention to her.”“Oh, Cordelia wanted to know if you could come by the Science Club today around two-thirty and help us with a little problem we are having,” Iona inquired.“What's the problem?” I asked.“Why didn't Cordy ask him herself?” Rio questioned.“I don't know the answer to either of those questions,” Iona admitted.“It is illegal, illicit, and off the record,” Rio pronounced.“No, it is not,” Iona battled back.“Trust me, I've done my share of things I didn't want the authorities to know about and this stinks of that kind of stunt,” Rio explained.“I'll be with Zane; nothing will happen. Besides, we are the Science Club, not an international criminal syndicate,” Iona told Rio.“I'll be okay,” I promised Rio. On the other hand, the Science Club wasn't all flowers, bells, and puppy dog tails.They hacked the school's computer systems, had illegal internet hook-ups, and were re-wiring a dorm floor for my personal pleasure, and Rio's criminal instincts were more often right than wrong. We were able to get our seats and enjoy most of breakfast before Iona nudged me.“Don't you ever answer your messages?” Iona inquired.“I have them all automatically forwarded to you,” I countered. “It seemed like the sanest thing to do.”“But you don't even know what's going on in your life,” she worried.“Darling, I have you to keep me from falling off the face of the Earth. I trust you to keep me on an even keel. Besides, someone hacked my phone yesterday so I'm not sure how safe I would be without you,” I enlightened her.“Someone hacked your phone?” Iona gasped. “Any idea who?”“Cordelia; she put herself at the top of my Handmaiden's list. I didn't mind, but the fact that she did it means it could be done,” I told her. Iona shot an angry glare in Cordelia's direction.“Don't worry about it, Iona,” Rio joked. “Have you known anyone to mess with Zane and not pay for it eventually?”“That doesn't mean I like it,” Iona kept glaring. I tapped her shoulder, then led her gaze to me by tugging on her jaw.“Let it go. In the social hierarchy, we are freshmen, despite any accomplishments. Trust me, I know: There are some fights you don't get into until you are ready. Cordelia likes you because you are useful but don't try her patience too far or she'll break you.”“I don't like it. This is high school all over again,” Iona grumbled.“The major difference,” Rio pointed out, “you have a sick psycho like me and a stud like Zane who have your back. We've left you alone once and that was only in hopes you would get out from under the hammer that was falling on us.”“Oh, we were told about your conversation with the Chancellor. I liked what you said,” I told her thoughtfully, “but I believe Rio and I could have done it better.”“Who would you have quoted?” wondered Iona. I exchanged a fanatical look with Rio.“THIS is SPARTA!” we shouted in unison, “and then we would have kicked her desk out the window,” I added.Iona sighed, looked down at her tray, and grinned while half the dining hall gazed our way.“You two are nuts,” she chuckled.“Ninja Urban Terrorists,” Rio and I declared together, “that's us.” The rest of breakfast passed without incident or too much Humor.It is not the Distance; It is the Weight on your BackGetting out looked to be a bit less friendly as Rhaine, Joy and Mercy added two other girls to their entourage.“Zane, Rio, Iona, we have a duty for you,” Rhaine announced. “You will carry our books, on your knees, and on the sidewalk.”“Well, Kemosabe, do we ignore them or kick their asses?” Rio looked to me. “Man, here I am without my hate-mallet too.”“I'm going for benign indifference,” I informed Rio. “Rhaine, we already have an assigned Handmaiden duty and we are not required to partake of any task that would result in our physical harm.”“We let Christina get away with it because we were isolated and new, but that's not the case anymore,” I explained. “You break the rules and we'll defend ourselves.”“Then we are taking you to the Chancellor's office,” Rhaine declared loudly. At this time my two buddies were despairing over the lack of appearance by our allies but I tend to have more faith in the fairness of Human nature.“Civil disobedience,” I advised Iona. To Rio, I explained, “Make yourself dead weight.” Rhaine's Traditionalists came forward and we three fell to the ground.“Get up,” Joy demanded of Rio.“Nope, not going to happen,” she gleefully shot back. Joy gave Rio a strong nudge with the foot.“What are you doing?” a cold calm voice pierced the setting. It was Coach Dana Gorman.“I, what, we are doing what Rhaine told us to do,” Joy stammered.“Kicking a student is grounds for dismissal,” Dana informed Joy. “Physical violence is only acceptable in self-defense, and only when withdrawal is not an option.”“Coach Gorman, we were told, ” Rhaine began.“Ms. Ritchie, the Board of Directors can alter the Handbook whenever they wish, and if they ever say that bludgeoning another student merely because they disagree with you is permissible, I'll be sure to let you know.”“Yes, Mam,” Rhaine gulped.“You three, stop loafing about and get to class” Gorman addressed us. “We can all hope you flunk out your first semester, but until you do, I am required to make sure you are in your classes at the appointed time. Now go!” she grumbled to Rio, Iona and I.“Yes, Mam,” Iona and I said as we stood up once more. Rio merely growled. We quickly parted Rhaine and company, then headed to class. Soon enough, Christina and her crowd appeared around us.“What tree were you bitches hiding behind?” Rio griped. That did not get her a pleasant response.“Rio, they were always with us,” I said, putting a hand on Rio's shoulder. “They also sent people to get Coach Gorman and others to get Ms. Goodswell in case things went bad. Cappadocia and Wilhelmina were rounding up the troops in case Rhaine tried to force us. By keeping the field clear of obvious forces, we resolved this fight in a way that didn't make us look bad.”“You got all that while talking to Rhaine and watching every sane FFU girl running away from us?” Rio gawked.“If an ally betrays you, they will stand by and watch. If you don't see them, assume they are fighting elsewhere on your behalf, or so the saying goes,” I related.“That sounds like dark matter, you know it is there because you can't see it,” Iona nodded, “but you see its effects.”“Essentially,” Christina remarked.“I'd like to know one thing,” Faith inquired: “Have you slept with Coach Gorman too? She seems to have joined our side very suddenly.”“She's not on our side and she's not our friend, but I did outline how this fight would work. If they break the rules, we break the rules, and chaos ensues. If the Coach keeps things fair, Rio and I will go down by our own faults or succeed on our merits, Christina will still beat Rhaine, and this year might not suck so much for the average student, freshmen included,” I said.“How do you jibe following the rules with having a different girl in your bed every night?” Hope taunted me with a hint of seduction. Heaven looked equal parts embarrassed and sensually hungry.“I don't believe he has a woman in his bed every night,” Christina corrected.“Expecting Zane to sleep alone is like putting a lion among your sheep and expecting to eat lamb next season; theoretically possible, but it goes against his nature,” Hope laughed.“I have not had a woman in my bed every night,” I sniffed indignantly.“Yeah,” Rio rallied to my defense, “there was that night you barred Barbie Lynn and, actually, I think that was the only night, though he didn't sex me up that first night on campus.”“I think it is safe to say that the female student body has made good use of Zane's time here amongst us,” Chastity noted, as she lightly slapped my shoulder.“Well, in case anyone cares, I'm going to a church function tonight and stopping by the Kappa Sigma house on the way back. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish up some Biology reading and go to bed early,” I declared.“And if you find a girl in your bed when you get in?” Hope teased.“He'll assume it is a day ending in ‘y',” Iona snickered.“Et tu, Iona?” Christina stated loftily.“In that case, please spread the word,” I muttered darkly. “I'm coming home and stealing Iona away to my lair for some much needed discipline and loyalty reinforcement.” Iona remained still while the other girls looked around.“Seriously?” Faith wondered.“I play around a lot but never with Iona,” I explained. “If she doesn't lock her door, she's mine.”“Iona, I'll help you barricade the door,” Heaven offered. Iona didn't say anything but the look she shot Heaven clearly stated ‘don't you dare!'The Research Partnership“Zane?” Virginia Goodswell requested my attention as I approached my English class.“Hey, Teach, I'm ready to have my head stuffed with learning,” I grinned.“That's good, because we are choosing Authors and Works today, along with project partners,” Virginia instructed.“So, Ms. Goodswell, who is my boy Zane partnered up with? Or is there going to be a Thunder Dome match to figure that out?” Rio beamed with failed innocence.“Ms. Talon,” my teacher sighed, “it is a volunteer process, and I'm not sure any girl in my class wants to work with Mr. Braxton.”“Zane, when the feeding frenzy begins, jump for the ceiling lights,” Chastity joked with me. At least I hoped she was joking. The ladies wished me luck and we parted ways. After taking our assigned seats, Virginia went over our latest lessons and then introduced us to our semester project. The first thing to decide was the partnerships.“Before we partner up,” Virginia asked the class, “would any of you consider teaming up with Zane Braxton to get this done? Hands please.” Multiple hands flew up. Virginia looked over the class, nodded, and said, “Thank you.” She looked it over, “Raven, Barbara, and Céline, each of you give me the reason why you don't want to work with Zane.”Ms. Goodswell had chosen the three girls who hadn't raised their hands. Barbara and Celine didn't want to work with me because they were afraid I would rape them the moment we were alone, “sigh”. Raven's answer was that she was afraid that my lack of a structured education would make the paper more difficult.Raven Thorpe was awarded the 'honor' of working with me, a designation she groaned over, and other girls glared at her with jealousy. After class she attempted to shoulder past me but I tapped her arm.“Can we talk for a second?” I inquired.“Don't you have to scurry off and take care of your schedule?” she replied blandly.“Can you stop being a bitch for fifteen seconds so we can figure out which author we can work on?” I snapped angrily. She pulled up short as if she expects to be pimp-slapped next.“Okay, who do you have in mind?” she requested. “And if you say William Shakespeare, I am going to smack you with my book bag.”“I was thinking the political works of Edmund Burke,” I suggested. Raven blinked.“Seriously, I didn't think you even knew who Edmund Burke was, much less that he was the father of modern conservatism,” Raven congratulated me. It was almost like she wanted to pat me on the head and give me a doggy bone.“I was thinking of concentrating more on his works during the American Revolution, but if that's what you are more comfortable with, we could cover his later period works instead,” I offered.“Good point, Zane. Let's talk it over during lunch,” Raven suggested.“Zane,” summoned a female voice from outside the classroom.“Go on,” Raven smirked, “enjoy your disproportionate level of abuse.”“You act like I have any choice in the matter,” I shrugged.It was of little consolation that Raven made it ten more feet from the door when she got snatched up too. This time out, my mistress got to point to a feature on her body and I had to give it a flattering description, I know, my life is utter hell.I had no idea where the Science Club met; I even began to get the sinking feeling they carefully controlled any information about themselves, sort of like a secret society, or the CIA.Paige & the Science Club“Hello, I'm Paige,” spoke this girl, who apparently materialized out of the ether. I'm not paranoid; I've spent the past two years in a region where you have to be alert because Tigers are common and I say this girl freaking ghosted me, Man.“I'm with the Science Club. You will come with me right now,” she smiled like said predator cat trying to disguise herself as a white rabbit.“You are albino,” I noted. She had long white hair, alabaster skin, and a red shadow to her eyes. She was also the only girl to date I'd seen with the dark blue jacket that was part of our winter uniform. She also had a jaunty blue hat and white stockings instead of socks.“You have eyes,” she rolled hers, “now come along.” I started to follow her.“So what is this meeting about?” I asked.“It isn't a meeting; we require you for something,” she replied.“What is it?” I became more cautious.“It is a surprise,” she mocked me. “Stop wasting my time and come along.”“Cool, I'm out of here.” I grinned, turned, and left. Paige staggered and seemed unable to grasp my departure.“Where are you going?” she snapped tartly.“To Archery Club,” I replied, while still walking away.“But, but you said you would come,” she stuttered.“Am I a person? Are you?”“Yes and yes,” she replied with irritation.“Are you an idiot or a child? Because those are the only reasons to forgive your spoiled behavior,” I turned and said. Paige glared. “So you assume you are smarter than me and can be rude to someone who is doing you a favor.”“We are the ones doing you a favor,” Paige snapped back. “Now we want you to repay us.”“Did you discuss payment when you did me the favor of rewiring my room? No? Good, because if you had, I would clearly be suffering a form of amnesia,” I gave back. “If you want something, you can ask as a friend or you can offer me something that makes it worth my while. Now go back to Cordelia and tell her you have returned alone because you were so much smarter than me. If you could only 'speak friend', ” I continued walking away.“Wait,” Paige called out nervously. “I, I, ” and I could almost hear the wheels turning. “Speak friend and enter.” I stopped in midstride.“So you read through my school records and know my top ten influences,” I turned and responded. We stared at each other for almost a minute until she finally gave up and put on her sunglasses. I retraced my steps back to her.“Favorite member of the Fellowship?” I tested her.“Legolas,” she responded. I scoffed and she had the Human decency to look embarrassed.“Ha,” I scoffed again. “Horny girls go for the elf; the marrying kind goes for Aragorn.”“Who is yours, then, wise guy?” she volleyed.“Boromir,” I declared my allegiance.“Ah, of course; the veteran warrior in a doomed struggle; he forsakes his honor only to redeem it in a hopeless fight, perishing in the arms of his brothers,” Paige retorted. “I thought you would have gone for Aragorn, the Uncrowned King.”“Hum,” I winced, “my second choice was actually Frodo but that would have sounded gay.”“You can't be gay; you are not clever enough to conceal that,” she stated.“See, now you are sounding like Saruman the White,” I teased.“Let me guess: because I'm an albino,” she grumbled.“You are an albino? I was talking about your facial hair and that arrogant, know-it-all vibe you've got going on,” I joked. Paige stared at me, suddenly speechless, finally taping her chin.“At least you didn't call me Gollum,” she admitted.“Nah; too much hair and not enough skin slime,” I explained as I ran the back of one finger over her cheek. She flinched slightly.“Are you going to, please, come with me now?” she asked much more politely.“Are you going to have sex with me?” I grinned.“WHAT!?!?” she squawked.“Just joshing you,” I smiled. “You are far too pretty to be interested in me. Let's go.”I'd clearly unsettled her because she didn't say another word to me until we were going downstairs in the Clegger Science Building.“Do you really think I'm pretty?” she asked as we finished the last set of stairs.“I must confess I find most women attractive, but you are far prettier than most,” I replied.“Do you still want to have sex with me?” she said in a casual voice. I took her hand and placed it on my heart. “Hah,” she snorted, “I get it; your heart is beating so yes, you want to have sex with me.”“I was going to say that a steady heartbeat indicated I was telling the truth, but someone keeps insisting they are smarter than me,” I teased her. Am I really asking for another sex partner? What's wrong with me?Her reaction wasn't what I expected it to be and then I realized that she still had something over on me, the reason for me being here. Bitch. She opened a door into a dark room and ushered me in. There appeared to be about ten ladies in the room, playing with a variety of electronics.“Delivered as promised,” Paige called out.“What did he hit you with?” a short caramel-skinned girl inquired.“Fellowship of the Ring,” Paige grinned. Mother-fuckers!“Did he offer to have sex with you?” Cordelia asked playfully.“Yes. And not only gave me a 'pretty' but also a 'far prettier'.” Paige gave me a smug look.“Ha, ha, ha,” I muttered. Idiot me forgot that psychology is also a science, and the reason we don't have a chess club at FFU was also evident; the Science Club devoured them.“Come on, Zane,” Cordelia batted her full lashes at me. “We need a little favor and it won't take fifteen minutes.”“Couldn't you simply coerce me into doing this?” I stated. “I'm sure this whole rigmarole of making me think I'm doing you a favor has to be making things more difficult.”“We are all friends here,” Cordelia smiled.“No, if we were all friends here, Iona would be at my side,” I scolded her. “I admit you did a great scam getting me in this room, but you aren't nearly as good at lying to my face as you think you are.”“Iona, ” Paige started to say.“Don't!” Cordelia snapped, then took a deep breath. “If you threaten Iona he will hit you, no,” she corrected, “He'll hit me,” Cordelia reasoned out.“There are eleven of us,” another girl, Pandora Jaspers, stated, somewhat angry and confident.“I've seen him fight, Pandora. I saw him drop Mercy Chaplain. I've seen him fight Cappadocia Davis and Coach Gorman too,” Cordelia said coolly as we stared at one another. “Unless we curl up in a ball on the ground, he'll beat us down. We'll hurt him, but Zane can take more pain than we can because he cares about her.”“On that note, I'm gone again. Good going Paige; I'm sure you can think of something to make your sisters understand,” I shrugged and moved for the door.“Zane, I need you to strip down and let us attach a series of video and biometric sensors so we can create a 'Virtual Zane' for a little project we are working on,” Cordelia blurted out.I had to think hard about this; not because I didn't want to do it but because I had to figure if this was an honest play or another convoluted turn of the screws. I turned and looked at Cordelia.“There was no way in hell you ever thought I was a professor and you miraculously materialized outside my first class with the knowledge I was actually a freshman, damn, Cordelia, can't you just ask for stuff?” I berated her.“If you ask, you depend on another to get what you want; if you deceive, you win or lose on your own abilities,” she shrugged. “Besides, I did ask you to kiss me; remember?”“Good enough; where do you want me to stand?” I responded.“Wait,” Paige gawked. “Now he is doing it.”“Alright ladies,” one girl grinned. “Everyone pay up. I told you we should simply ask him.”With that, I stepped over to a table and began stripping. Slowly the girls around me stopped what they were doing and openly ogled me. I guess the real me was better than the video.“Aren't you curious about what we are going to do?” Pandora inquired.“You are probably going to tell me that I'm posing naked because it is easier to dress an 'uncluttered' form, or something to that effect, but really, I like Cordelia and Iona is one of my two best friends,” I mulled it over. “Besides, in case you missed it, I've seen all your faces.”Once they took that bit of news in, things went along smoothly, though they had some debate amongst themselves on whether my cock needed its own 'reference point', a sensor attached.The amusing thing was, when the girl running the computer imaging asked me to keep my penis still, I had to reply that certain reactions weren't under my control, which caused a rather awkward moment. When I was finally finished there was another quiet interlude as I got dressed.“So,” Cordelia wondered, rocking back and forth on her feet, “if we need more, data, could we get you to come back?”“Sure,” I smiled back, “you know where I live, and you certainly know what my digits are. Cordelia, I want you to consider that if something happens in my room that ends up on the web that betrays the trust people have put in me, I'm not going to come after all of you looking for excuses. Are we clear?”“Is that a threat, Zane?” Cordelia beamed playfully.“Cordelia, I'm always one step away from being tossed out of here on my ass, so those who chose to trust me and take up my cause are doing it because they are decent folk. I'm not like most people; I can't afford to toss friends away like most of the rest of the people in this room seem to be comfortable with.”“Or what,” Paige smirked, “you'll beat us up?”“No, Paige. I value trust, so if you take that away from me, I'll find out what you value and take that away from you,” I stared at her intently.“I know what you are going to say, Paige,” Cordelia jumped in, “and Zane being expelled will only mean that he has no other distractions from dealing with us and he'll still have people inside the school all too willing to help him.”“Zane, how about if something is done, we give you an off switch for various sections?” Cordelia offered.“Sounds great; let me know how the project works out, but now I have to go to Archery,” I replied, before slipping out the door.“How did he know we were going to wire his room?” I overheard Paige whisper to Cordelia.“You don't seriously think he came here solely because we tricked him, do you?” Cordelia answered. “He knew we would try something and he wanted us to know that he knew.” Yes, I had bumbled into the message I'd wanted to get across despite myself.Does Anyone Want Me Here?I had escaped school with a double date for Thursday Night (Chastity and Hope), then stopped by the house to plead with Aunt Jill to let Rio stay for the weekend. I gave a rational case, a compassionate reason, and then fell down on my knees and told her I really, really, really wanted her to stay. Something in that last argument made Jill relent and I phoned the good news to Rio.All that groveling resulted in me making the Festivities Committee Meeting by only two minutes. I swept into the room abruptly and as the story of my life goes, everyone stopped talking and looked at me. A quick scan of the room told me that two of the eight women knew to expect me, or at least some guy, while the others clearly assumed I'd lost my way.“Can we help you, young man?” an older woman with hair mostly turned to gray.“Welcome, Glenn,” Mrs. Wellington said. “Ladies, Pastor William has asked us to introduce Mr. Braxton to the good works of our Church.” There was a pause.“Thank you, Mrs. Wellington, but no one alive calls me Glenn anymore, and I'm not old or accomplished enough to be Mr. Braxton, like my Father or Uncle Tim. My teachers call me Zane.”“Oh, you are at the University?” a third woman asked politely. She was asking if I went to the University of Virginia.“No, I don't go to U V; I go to FFU, it is a long story,” I replied with trepidation.“I have a daughter at Freedom Fellowship,” one of the women responded with concern.“What is her name?” I tried to be polite, what were the odds?“Pandora Jaspers,” Mrs. Jaspers answered.“Seriously? I've done Handmaiden duty for her, and today I saw her at the Science Club,” I sighed with relief.“What did she have you do?” yet another woman inquired intently.“I helped her create an umbrella walkway when it was raining so that all the students could get to class without getting soaked,” I informed them.“Have you been to 'camp'?” a sixth woman hinted at something.“Camp, no, I can't say I've ever been to a camp,” I evaded, because I had no idea what they meant.“That's enough, ladies,” Mrs. Wellington said. “We have business to take care of. We can worry about Mr. Braxton's confusion at a later time.” Oh, they think I'm gay. Camp = Gay camp where fundamentalists are sure I could be cured of being homosexual. I try not to laugh.“Mr. Braxton, I want you to sit at the chair there,” Mrs. Wellington pointed to a chair away from the table, against the wall. “I want you to take personal notes for the members, things that don't go into the official record. Doreen Saxon,” she indicated the gray haired woman “is our secretary. She takes the official notes of the meeting, so pay attention.”The Meeting for the first of September was called to order, the record of attendance including the difficulty of my name, they kept trying to call me Glenn Braxton while I politely asked for Zane. They went with Glenn. The rest of the group worked out like this:Rochelle Wellington was Chairwoman, Kendra Bainbridge was our Treasurer, and Doreen Saxon was the grey-haired Secretary. The rest of the group consisted of Claire Baker, Theresa Geiger, Columbia Jaspers, Heidi Moulin, and Sahara Penny, the Pastor's wife.As the meeting progressed there was little I could do but watch the group dynamics at work. For starters, Bainbridge was at Wellington's throat; they clearly didn't like one another. The other was an oddity; no one interacted with Sahara Penny. I wasn't sure if it was her non-white heritage (Middle Eastern of some sort), her meek nature, or some past sin, but I decided to take advantage of it.I got up quietly and began walking around the table.“Glenn,” Mrs. Saxon asked, but I ignored her because, damn it, how many times do I have to tell them my name is Zane? I walked over and knelt by Sahara.“Zane,” Mrs. Wellington addressed me, “are you looking for the bathroom?” Bingo!“No, Mrs. Wellington. I was hoping to get some background information on the current discussions as well as contact information for the group. Since the rest of you are treating Mrs. Penny like she has the plague, I figured she would be the perfect candidate to tell me what is really going on here,” I grinned at her. “It is always the quiet ones who know the most.”And everyone stopped talking. Sahara not only looked shocked and frightened to see me, she looked like she wanted to sink under the table when I told the rest of them my reason for being here.“I assure you, Mr. Braxton, we are fully including Sahara in the process,” Mrs. Bainbridge snorted indignantly.“I will gladly accept your reprimand if you can please tell me the last five words you said to her since I arrived,” I requested, with as much innocence as I could beg, borrow, or steal.“I asked her about the children's clothing for the Nativity this year,” Kendra said after a long pause.“That was Claire, not Sahara,” I corrected her. “It is in my notes, but I'm sure Doreen can corroborate my recall of events.”“Well,” she said testily, “I'm sure I said something to her.” Silence.“I apologize for disrupting the meeting. I'll crouch here quietly and conference with Sahara while the rest of you complete the business of the day,” I told them, then turned back to Sahara. “Now, what the heck is up with the live turkey at the Thanksgiving celebration?”In the end, I gathered my information, the meeting concluded its business, and the room emptied until it was me, Sahara, Kendra, and Rochelle.“A Christian gentleman would apologize,” Kendra informed me.“Well, I guess that makes us both poor Christians, because a good Christian woman wouldn't have lied to me,” I calmly replied. Kendra gaped like a fish out of water.“Rochelle!” Kendra snapped to the Committee head.“Zane, you apologize to Kendra right now,” she commanded me, without much passion.“Kendra Bainbridge, I apologize for my rude and uncalled for behavior,” I said with a bow. Neither woman had expected me to fold up like that, so all Kendra could do was huff and storm out of the room.“Thank you,” Sahara whispered, as she touched my hand.“I don't always know the right side to fight on but it is usually by the side of the person being bullied,” I grinned. “It is the Christian thing to do,” I added with a wink.That left me with Rochelle Wellington: MILF, Lance the asshole's Mom, and wife of the Mayor.She looked like she wanted to stand up but couldn't. Me, I had a Sorority meeting to get to, I missed dinner so I had to grab something first, and why in the hell was I even thinking what I was thinking? I sat down beside her.“What's wrong?” I began. She looked at me, tired and somehow forlorn.“You wouldn't understand, Mr. Braxton, Zane,” she sighed.“Try me; the worst that could happen is, I give the expression that every teenager gives an adult when something important is being said but we are too caught up in our own lives to understand.”“Oh, good point, young man,” she sighed, “but I'm afraid I don't have anything even remotely interesting to talk about.” I waited patiently. “I'm feeling sorry for myself. My baby is leaving the nest and it has been so long since I've been alone in the house, I don't know what to do with myself.”“Lance is an only child?” I wondered.“Oh, no, he is the youngest of five,” she responded with sadness. My jaw dropped and she stared at me.“What, did you start having kids when you were ten?” I gawked.“What?” she sounded confused.“I have a hard time believing you are forty, much less the mother of five grown children,” I stammered. At first Rochelle was embarrassed and a bit uncomfortable, but slowly the compliment seeped its way into her psyche.“I, I have a home gym,” she suggested as an answer.“Well, whatever you've been doing has worked. Your husband is one lucky guy, and I hope he appreciates you and all you do to look, act, and feel so young,” I wowed her.“I'm not feeling all that young right now,” she slipped back into her depression.“Where does it hurt?” I changed my focus.“I don't know what you mean?” she asked.“People keep their stress in different places; the back of the neck, the mid-back, shoulders, or temples,” I informed her.“I'm not comfortable talking with you about that,” Mrs. Wellington replied warily.“Sure,” I said popping out of my seat. “I apologize if I crossed any lines,” and I made for the door.“Wait, Zane, I apologize. I'm tired and a bit cranky. I know you didn't mean anything and besides, I'm sure you already have a girlfriend,” Rochelle admitted.“Please don't spread this around, but I have several girlfriends at the moment. They know about each other, I'm not going to lie about my sex life, but they are usually interested in different things,” I told her.“You have, multiple girlfriends, different things? Like what kind of different things?” Rochelle spilled out her confused thoughts.“Some women like sexual contact,” I related, “while others like romantic time together, and still others want companionship.” There was another long pause.“But you are at Freedom Fellowship University, ” she trembled.“I've never taken a student's virginity, if that's what you are asking,” I answered.“Oh, I understand. I've taught all my children that they should be virgins on their wedding day,” Rochelle said with some pride.“I have to disagree with that,” I shocked her, “but that is one of the reasons that women are better than girls.”“And how would you know this?” She now turned in her chair to face me, trying to sound affronted but coming across as deeply curious.“Um, I've had sex with girls in their teens and women in their forties, and women know more, pace themselves better, and generally have better bodies,” I explained. “Teen girls need a few more years to fill out.”Rochelle was utterly speechless, and part of that had to do with the fact that I was being frank and honest, yet not openly coming on to her.“You must not think much of me, then,” she mused, “teaching my children my views on virginity.”“Where did you get that from? If anything, you are proving yourself to be an intelligent, warm, caring, and compassionate woman and mother, who happens to look like she's less than forty years old,” I added. “You did what you thought was right. I can't argue with that.”“Well, good,” she replied.“Now for my part, I was taught that a real man gives his lover multiple orgasms and he should never reach fulfillment before his partner does. Any man who does so is being selfish,” I stated.“How did you come by this, thinking?” she inquired with a small voice.“Um, I've had sex around five hundred times with thirty different partners,” I told her, “so I've not only learned from very good teachers, I've field tested their ideas.”“How can you possibly consider yourself a good Christian, Zane?” she accused me.“Compassion, respect for all living things, and forgiveness, that's what I believe in and what Christianity stands for in my eyes,” I explained.“The Bible is clear on sex and the sanctity of the marriage bed,” Rochelle insisted.“Mrs. Wellington, everything after the death of Jesus is conjecture. We both accept that Jesus was the Son of God, but after he dies, who is to say who was being touched by the Divine, who was building on JC's teachings, and who was simply making stuff up,” I held up my hand to stop Rochelle's protest.“The Catholics have a thousand Saints, most of whom we don't hold to be divinely inspired. You chose to believe that virginity is a girl's sacred duty, but I don't recall Christ saying anything on the subject. You can certainly quote later Gospels or the Old Testament, but that makes it your choice, not the Word of God,” I finished up. Another long pause followed.“I keep my stress in the top of my shoulders,” she suddenly said. I stood up and moved behind her, deciding to not question her changing opinion of me.“It helps if you take off your jacket,” I suggested, then helped her shimmy out of it. She tensed up as my hands weighed down lightly on her shoulders so I kept my touch gentle.Two minutes into the massage, I began squeezing harder and harder, moving my palms back and forth over her bra straps from upper arm to neck.“Rochelle,” I whispered into her ear, “I am going to rotate your shoulders.” I rolled over each shoulder one at a time but when I finished, I pushed her slowly forward until she was resting her elbows on the table and held her head on her upturned hands.When I went back to the massage, I worked her over harder and extended my reach from her mid-back to neck. This was clearly a case of begging forgiveness instead of asking permission. I took my time, relaxing her to a completely detached state. When I brought her back to reality, I was kneeling beside her and tapping her on the arm.“Rochelle? Are you okay,” I asked in a gentle, caring voice. Dreamily, she turned her head from its resting place on her arms to look at my eyes straight-on and mere inches away.“What, huh?” she muttered.“How do the shoulders feel? Has your stress gone away?” I inquired.“Yes, yes,” she popped up, alert once more. “It feels really good, in fact. I haven't felt this way in years,” she added with a smile.“I think it is time for us to go,” I suggested. “Can I help you with your jacket?”“Of course,” she nodded. “Thank you for helping an old lady out.” I held it while she put in one arm after the other but when I settled it on her shoulders, I stepped in and held her there for a moment while I pressed myself against her so she could feel how I felt about 'old ladies'.Rochelle froze when she felt my cock, rigid in my slacks, pressed against her ass. I was unsure if I'd gone too far when she pushed ever so slightly against me.“I've got to be going. I will see you on Sunday but I'm home all weekend with one of my girlfriends in case you need me,” I informed her.I slipped out before she could respond because not only did I have a Sorority function to attend, I also needed to figure out where I could score some Viagra because I clearly had no common sense where sex was concerned. Besides, Sahara was obviously in need of attention because Pastor Bill wasn't giving it to her, and Bainbridge was lashing out due to years of sexual frustration, I repeat: I have no common sense.Every One Like a Fingerprint to MeWhen I was racing to get to the Kappa Sigma House, I hardly expected to be met by one of their pledges and absolutely no one else. After I sat down in the den and the pledge, Tina, got me a soda from the kitchen, we found ourselves staring at one another.“So, I'm here on the correct night; right?” I asked.“Yes, you are, Zane,” she bubbled with anticipation.“Where is everybody?” I prodded her.“They are taking care of Sorority business but they will come get us when they are ready,” she grinned. I knew I was missing something but I didn't know what it was.“Is it hot in here?” I wondered.“Yes,” Tina said after a bit of concentration.“Tina, can I have some Advil? I'm getting a headache,” I yawned.“Okay,” Tina responded, still happy, and still sitting down.“Ah, fuck, you drugged me, didn't you?” I groaned. I doubted I could still stand and then proved my doubts as I slid off the chair. “Damn,” I slurred. Tina walked over to me, took my drink away, and gently maneuvered my body to the floor.“If it is any consolation, I was selected as the pledge most likely to seduce you,” she stated with real sympathy. I might have smiled at her, I wasn't sure, but I definitely passed out.Cough! Someone plunged cleaning detergent underneath my nose and fired me back to consciousness. Holy Mother of God, I'm cold, my wrists and ankles hurt, I'm outdoors in the woods illuminated by torches and surrounded in a semi-circle of bare-footed figures in ankle long brown robes and black hoods.I was cold because I was naked and my limbs hurt because I was suspended on a cross, not a 'T' cross but an 'X' cross. I certainly know some kinky, fucked-up people.“Zane,” a modulated voice addressed me, “you are on trial before Kappa Sigma for your treatment of one of our sisters. You have abused the trust of one sister by seeking romantic relations with another. What do you have to say for yourself?”“If the question is that I had relations with Leigh, then had a similar encounter with Paris, then I confess. In my defense, I never sought to deceive either one and will make amends if permitted,” I promised.“Sisters, we have heard his defense. Will any of you vote in his behalf?” she intoned. No one stepped forward.“Zane, we will give you one chance to save yourself. If you fail, you will be shaved bald and painted in a permanent purple dye.” I assume that means seven days on Human skin. “If you can pick out the woman you have wronged, beg her forgiveness, and are forgiven, you will go free.” I was getting pretty nervous since they were all totally covered except for their toes when the 'leader' nodded and the girls all opened their robes to reveal string bikinis in a variety of colors.Their faces were still covered, though that wasn't really a problem for me anymore.“Choose Leigh and Paris, beg their forgiveness, and you may be pardoned,” the 'leader' commanded.“That's not fair,” I answered right back, “because they are not before me now.”“Think carefully,” the girl with the modulated voice cautioned me.“No, seriously; I'm looking at Josephine, Maria, Cynthia, Sarah, Ferrara, Petra, Yvette, Tawny, Jersey, and Monique,” I named them left to right.“What?” Sarah gasped to her assembled sisters. “Do we have name tags on?”Behind me, I heard snickers turn into giggles, Leigh and Paris. Tawny stepped forward.“How did you know?” she inquired, clearly not the girl with the modulated voice.“Ah, Josephine has a birthmark on her ankle, Maria has the darkest skin tone, and Cynthia's breasts don't angle down the middle or to the side but somewhere in the middle.”“Sarah has slender thighs and her calves curve just so below the knee; Ferrara always paints her nails in these crazy patterns; Petra scrapped her knee backpacking two weekends ago; Yvette, has that tattoo over her right nipple; Tawny, you have a slender neck, a, 38C chest, and a strong swell from your waist to your hips; Jersey is the tallest and has that scar she got in a boating accident in high school; and finally, Monique has the perkiest nipples and the most slender calves,” I recited.Man, even the crickets went quiet after that.“Zane, did anyone help you with this test?” Tawny finally asked.“Nope.”“How could they?” Leigh came to my defense. “You didn't make the line-up until thirty minutes ago.”“Jersey, go check his phone log,” Tawny directed her sister.“I'm getting really cold,” I whispered to Leigh. She looked from my eyes to my waist with sympathy. Jersey walked out of the light but quickly returned with my phone.“His last call was at 2:10 p.m. but he did have a data download at 6:45, it seems to be a bunch of women's names and phone numbers,” Jersey relayed the information to them.“It is my church group, I swear. Honestly, they are all married women in the Festivities Committee that bastard of a pastor assigned me to,” I pleaded.“No phone calls?” Tawny persisted.“No phone calls,” Jersey confirmed.“Okay, Zane, how did you know who we were with our faces concealed?” Tawny wondered.“Is that a serious question?” The deafening pause was its own answer. “You are women; I pay attention to women and to me, each female form is as exacting as a fingerprint. Until now I thought all of this was a joke,” I related. “I mean, if you wanted to scare me, you would have given me something difficult to figure out.”“And you picked all this up at one party?” Tawny sounded bewildered.“Have I mentioned how much I like women?” I reminded her.“But you brought twenty women with you; you always had a woman by your side. How?” Tawny still struggled to understand.“I repeat: have I mentioned how much I like women? I see nothing wrong with being with one woman and looking at others, but I believe it is wrong to be with one woman and thinking about someone else,” I explained. “You should always appreciate the one you are with.”“Um, does any sister believe Zane has earned a reprieve?”For two seconds no one reacted, then Jersey stepped forward.“He knew about my scar,” was her excuse. Five more stepped forward right after that and all had done so by the tenth second.“Very well Zane, you are forgiven,” Tawny announced. Yay, me! “But I have one other issue to address. Zane, I can't have you cutting a swath through my girls so I'm going to demand that you stick to one and only one Kappa Sigma per semester.” I stared at her until she finally had to question me. “What?”“I wish you would stop treating me like a child,” I chuckled.“What makes you think I'm not being serious?” Tawny growled.“We've kissed. You can tell a lot about a person in the way they kiss, and you are very caring and thoughtful,” I told her. “Why would I be out here in the woods naked if I didn't trust you?”“You kissed him!” yelped Leigh. Tawny smirked as she looked at her.“You left me alone with a naked Zane in your room; he looked cold and lonely,” she told Leigh. I was cold and lonely because Tawny tossed Leigh out of her own room and then wouldn't let me get dressed, but only Tawny, Christina, and I knew that.“Besides, Zane, you are naked in these woods because we tricked you into our house and spiked your drink,” Tawny pointed out.“Ah, but would I have been dumb enough to take that drink if I hadn't first trusted you enough to show up, wait, that didn't come out right,” I mumbled.“Are you agreeing to my terms?” Tawny teased.“Nope. I prefer to hold to the illusion I'm living in the Free World,” I declared. “You can certainly tell your sisters what to do because they volunteered for this but I only hang out here because all of you have been so nice to me. If I've been a poor guest, I'll just leave, because I'm not going to pretend I like one sister less than another.”“Zane, you are deep in the woods, tied to a cross, and the only people who know you are here are all bound by Sacred Oaths of Sisterhood, Blood, and Secrecy,” Tawny stated sweetly, as she came up and stroked my cheek. “You aren't in the best place to be dumping us.”“Good point,” I agreed defiantly. “Maybe I should wait to get on my high horse when I can actually get on a high horse, but I'm still not going to take it back.”“We could always keep him in our secret basement,” Monique suggested. When everyone looked at her she added, “Hey, he liked my nipples. Finding a guy who is good with nipples isn't as easy as you would think.” Huh, what? I had a definite feeling I was losing control of events.“You have a secret basement?” I gulped. “I didn't know you had a secret basement.”“Well, duh,” Paris snickered. “It wouldn't be much of a secret if you knew about it.”“We are not keeping Zane chained up for our amusement,” Tawny warned the girls. “We specifically changed the Charter back in '02 so that we can no longer keep men on the premises for more than forty-eight hours.” Yay?“We also can't leave him here,” Tawny continued. “I'm sure Christina will have search parties out looking for you before sunrise.”“I'll stay out here and stand guard over him,” Leigh volunteered.“No,” Tawny scolded Leigh. “We can't let him get fucked to death either.” Leigh looked truly heartbroken.“I think we have to let Zane get off this time,” Tawny sighed.“I was trying to get him off,” Leigh grumbled.“Give it a rest, Leigh,” Tawny demanded. “Paris, give our guest something to drink so we can wrap this up.” Paris disappeared behind me, then reappeared with a glass of water.“Drink up,” she smiled beatifically.“Just promise me I'm not going to wake up in some landfill or tied to a lamppost somewhere public,” I groaned.“Drink it down right now and you might wake up next to me,” Tawny challenged. Needless to say, I drank and quickly, because I'm an idiot who keeps too much blood in the wrong head.When I woke up, I was back in the Sorority house with a different sweet pledge smiling at me and that smell of ammonia in my nostrils. She handed me a folded piece of paper.I said 'you MIGHT wake up next to me' the paper read. 'P.S. See you and the Ladies at our Halloween Bash.'“What's your name?” I asked the pledge. This time the home was filled with the noises of occupancy.“Larissa,” she giggled. “So, are you Leigh's boyfriend?”“Ah, no; I'm community property; the other sisters hand me around like a box of chocolates,” I joked.“Really! That is so great,” she bubbled with excitement. “I can't wait until I get initiated. I want you to make me scream the way you had Leigh singing.” Does no one get my jokes?“Larissa, I am sure you will pass your initiation, no sweat,” I told her as I stood up, feeling a bit drunk. Larissa walked with me to the door and gave me a quick peck on the cheek as I turned to head for my car. I made it to campus with seconds to spare. The crawl up to the Solarium was done in relative quiet, though Barbie Lynn decided to sample my tonsils before letting me up.Not two steps inside the door my phone rang.“Hello, is this Zane Braxton?” this familiar voice greeted me.“That would be me. What can I do for you this night?” I responded.“This is Felicity Tolliver. I wanted you to know that I had dinner with Rochelle Wellington tonight and I think having you on her committee has really improved her mood,” she informed me.I reached the top of the landing and nearly dropped the phone. Iona sat nervously on my bed, which she had made up because I never do it that well. She was wearing lingerie that definitely made her whole form much more feminine.“Felicity, Rochelle and I talked mostly, plus I showed her some techniques to help alleviate stress,” I related, “but you can tell her it was a pleasure to work with such a vibrant and beautiful woman. You two are a lot alike.”There was a pause, then,“I'll tell her that,” Felicity said.“I will be at my home in case she needs something this weekend. I would like to see both of you, as would my Aunt,” I offered.“That would be nice,” she sounded upbeat.“We could also discuss getting some FFU girls coming over to your place and the workshops you could teach on campus in October and November,” I suggested.“That sounds great too,” Felicity agreed. “I would like to spend some time at FFU and having some girls know where Lance's house is would be nice. When do you want to meet?”“How about after dinner, say 8 o'clock?” I suggested. “You can bring Lance.”“After dinner is fine but Lance has a church workshop on Saturday nights,” Felicity sighed. Oh hell, does this woman even get taken to first base? “He's always so busy with his fraternity at school, the Young Christian Men's Republican caucus, and the Christian Men's League at church.” Does this guy spend any time with women at all?“Consider it a date,” I replied. “Now I have a very good reason to go to bed, so good night.”“Good night,” she parted in a friendly manner, which allowed me to hang up and start undressing as I approached the bed. I looked down at my bed buddy once I'd stripped down to nothing.“You look lovely, Iona,” I greeted her. “What do you want to do?”“I'll do whatever you want,” Iona said with a tremor in her voice, looking down at her lap. She looked stunning in her burgundy bra and panties, which were far more lace than substance. I felt the hand of, Christina (?) in all this.“Thank you, Iona. What I really want is to lie down, you beside me so that I can look into your eyes and gently trace lines along your body, and then I want to go to sleep with you in my arms. That's what I really want.”“Really?” she perked up in surprise and relief. I crawled under the covers, holding them open so she could join me.“I like this a lot,” she murmured, as she settled in at my side, snug in the covers. I shifted to my side and cupped her chin before exchanging several soft kisses with her. Afterwards, I did as I told her I would; my hand caressed her body, avoiding nipples and pussy but doing my best to get everywhere else. I elicited sensual moans and ticklish giggles.When I had forced her to push me off so she could catch her breath, I felt I had given Iona what she wanted, and more importantly, what she could live with. I sat back and stared at the Moon through my glass roof. Iona's smiling face slowly invaded my view.“I give up, Iona,” I pleaded. “Right now I want some sleep.”“That's okay. I will sit here and watch over you,” she sighed.“That's, that's a little creepy, actually,” I confessed.“I've watched all of the Twilight movies so I know what secretive romances are all about,” Iona explained.Unfortunately, I knew little of the Twilight series of movies. I knew it involved vampires and werewolves and some chick named Bella but I'd never actually seen any of that. Had I known it involved a 100-year-old vampire breaking into some teenager's room and staring down at her while she slept, I would have been much more concerned, but for now I went to sleep.A lesson in wh
Join Premium! Ready for an ad-free meditation experience? Join Premium now and get every episode from ALL of our podcasts completely ad-free now! Just a few clicks makes it easy for you to listen on your favorite podcast player. Become a PREMIUM member today by going to --> https://WomensMeditationNetwork.com/premium Once upon a time, in a world far removed from the hustle and bustle of our own, there existed a realm known as the Land of Sleepy Magic. This enchanting place was a world where dreams merged seamlessly with reality, where the borders between what was and what could be blurred into a shimmering, twilight existence. It was a realm where imagination had no limits and the night was more than just a void of darkness; it was a canvas for creation, a playground for the subconscious mind. In this wondrous land, a gentle breeze carried the softest lullabies, and the moon, a radiant pearl, cast its soothing glow upon the earth. The air was sweet with the scent of lavender and jasmine, and the grass underfoot was the softest, most inviting carpet. It was a place that beckoned you to close your eyes and drift away into a world of dreams, where the line between waking and slumber was tantalizingly thin. Raja, a weary traveler from the bustling city of Wakefulness, found himself wandering through this mystical realm one serene evening. He had grown tired of the noise and chaos of his waking life and yearned for a respite, a place where the cacophony of thoughts and responsibilities could be hushed, if only for a while. Raja had always been a dreamer, a believer in the power of imagination, and the rumors of the Land of Sleepy Magic had reached his ears many times. He had heard that it was a place where you could explore the hidden depths of your subconscious mind, where dreams and reality coalesced in a dance of surreal wonder. And so, with hope in his heart and a longing in his soul, he ventured into the heart of this enchanting land....
The Zamzam of Spiritual Knowledge. Excerpts from the teachings of Shaykh Mohamed Faouzi al-Karkari (qs).
First Sunday of Advent Mark 13:24-37
Welcome to this insightful interview with the lovely Lauren Meikle joining us all the way from South Africa. Lauren opens up about her unexpected journey through insomnia.It all started when she started teaching K-Pop dance classes…In this powerful conversation, Lauren reveals:How her relationship to sleep started to changeWhy she had to step back from teaching dance The resurgence of insomnia and its toll on her lifeWhy she felt like she was losing her mindHow chasing more things to sleep ultimately failed herWhat made insomnia the most challengingHow a single word explained the whole thingWhat the path out of insomnia looked likeLauren shares her story to provide hope for others going through insomnia.You can check out even more gems from her in this wonderful interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPerp34TR9oSubscribe to The Mind. Body. Sleep.™ Podcast:Apple | Spotify | GoogleWork with Beth:
How my heart cracked WIDE open, and how I couldn't stop laughing.Colorado is a magical place and let the magic (and laughter) infuse your life in this episode."Everything is right the way it is right now," is a quote by Jared, who texted that to me one night.Music by Oleksii Kaplunskyi from Pixabay Participate in the 100 Ways Community: Email Me: https://laurachristine.us/contact or LC@laurachristine.us Support our show: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/100waysBook a session: https://buymeacoffee.com/100ways/commissions Facebook: https://facebook.com/laurachristine808Instagram: https://instagram.com/100wayspodcast
What's mine is mine. What's yours is yours. And yes, the irony of recording this during the light of day is not lost on me. #bluelightninghealing #blhmeditations #susypgoins #susyparkergoins #chatwithsource #lightlanguage #timeofday #ironyoppositeofwrinkly --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/susy-parker-goins/support
In this edition of Talking insomnia, we get to know Kreuza who's second bout of insomnia morphed into a related fear, the fear of sleeping. We hear how her struggle developed, and how it faded thanks to courage, education and finding someone who had taken her path. — Would you like a roadmap from Insomnia to immunity? Download using below link. https://www.thesleepcoachschool.com/have-questions-1 — Would you like to work with a sleep coach? Awesome! Here are some great options: The Insomnia Immunity Group Coaching Program. BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android offering 1:1 text based coaching. Zoom based 1:1 coaching with Coach Michelle or Coach Daniel. The Insomnia Immunity program is perfect if you like learning through video and want to join a group on your journey towards sleeping well. BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket. The 1:1 Zoom based program is for you if you like to connect one on one with someone who has been where you are now. For more about these programs here: www.thesleepcoachschool.com — Do you like learning by reading? If so, here are two books that offer breakthroughs! Tales of Courage by Daniel Erichsen https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Courage-Twenty-six-accounts-insomnia/dp/B09YDKJ3KX Set it & Forget it by Daniel Erichsen https://www.amazon.com/Set-Forget-ready-transform-sleep/dp/B08BW8KWDJ — Would you like to become a Sleep Hero by supporting the Natto movement on Patreon? If so, that's incredibly nice of you . And here's the link to do just that: https://www.patreon.com/thesleepcoachschool
Meghan is joined by Tom Holton, of the Words of Wonder Podcast, to discuss becoming spiritually awake. Topics include: - Laying a foundation of faith- Two things that keep us spiritually asleep- Raising the flag for Christ- Sacrifice and service- What it really means to keep our covenants Thomas Holton lives in Ireland. His University education is in the Social Sciences and in Financial Administration. He has tutored students in English/Mathematics/Writing and Taxation. He has worked as a manager in financial and legal administration for 24 years.His Church service includes a two-year mission in England, Temple Ordinance Worker, adult Sunday School teacher 4 times, Ward mission leader twice, Branch/District/Stake Sunday School president, Elders Quorum president twice, Branch young men president, first counselor to a Bishop, Branch president for ten years and Stake High Councilor. He presently serves as first counselor to a Branch president and the Church History Specialist for the island of Ireland.His health challenges over 26 years have taught him to appreciate life.He is the author of three books - “Alive in Christ” and “Cultivated in Christ” and “Perfected in Christ”.He and his wife, Veronica, are the grateful parents of one adult son. Register NOW for Awake and Ascend: The Mountain of the Lord, our virtual conference being held on November 3-4. The purpose of this event is to explore ancient and modern temple types and their patterns, to more deeply understand the significance of temple worship, and the application of temple living in our mortal journeys. Also, we have an EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT, which we will share during the Saturday session. You won't want to miss it!
Here in Episode 101 I chat with Emma Kobil about healing insomnia by befriending wakefulness. We chat about what works and what doesn't, and how popular strategies for trying to sleep make the problem of insomnia worse.Emma is giving away a free 30 minute call to the first 10 people who reach out who would like to talk about their sleep and ways to let go of insomnia!Connect with Emma...Website: https://sleepwithemma.com/Email: sleepwithemma@gmail.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sleepwithemma/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sleepwithemmaSupport the show
Read the article at ComedyWham.com Episode #295 Syd Goin talks with Valerie Lopez about Life growing up in Hawaii surrounded by overachievers Getting her start in comedy in New York City Learning to be more outgoing and building friendships The origin of the Naked Brunch web series Recorded September 2023 Follow Syd Linktree - linktr.ee/squanchyyyyyy Instagram Syd - @sydbegoin Juicebar - @juicebarsketch Juicebox - @juiceboxcomedyatx Facebook - facebook.com/sydbegoin Youtube - youtube.com/channel/SydGoin Syd can be seen and heard: Juicebar - Monthly Austin-based sketch comedy on 4th Tuesdays, 8pm at Fallout Theater Juicebox - all-ladies sketch troupe producing sketches for Gold Comedy LUCID - Improv duo troupe (follow instagram for updates) Ketchup & Spice - Podcast between friends who live in different states and stay connected Naked Brunch Youtube web series Follow @ComedyWham on Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, Twitch, and Tiktok If you'd like to support our independent podcast, check out our Patreon page at: Patreon.com/comedywham . You can also support us on Venmo or Paypal - just search for ComedyWham.
Charles Attfield became Interested in mysticism while still in his teens and his interest in meditation and eastern philosophy grew rapidly after his later visits to India. In addition to teaching qualifications, he has a master's degree in esotericism (psychology), a graduate diploma of counseling and diplomas in astrology and life coaching. His particular interest has been in spiritual emergence and the Kundalini. As an advanced meditator, he personally received mentoring from a spiritual master, Master Charles Cannon, for many years. Self-Awareness and Meditation: An Advanced Guide for Meditators is based on Charles' own personal experiences. He draws inspiration from the teachings of renowned spiritual Master Muktananda, who emphasized the importance of experiential knowledge over mere intellectual understanding. By immersing yourself in practical meditation techniques and embracing personal experiences, you will discover that true enlightenment transcends mere knowledge. You can find the book at collectiveinkbooks.com/mantra-books/our-books/self-awareness-meditation-advanced-guide. Learn more about Charles and his book at https://charlesattfield.com/. Find out more about Christi Clemons Hoffman and the Radiate Wellness Community here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Anne-Claire experienced sleep issues when she overextended herself running her business. After reducing her workload her sleep didn't get any better. Supplements and medication didn't seem to help. This led her to explore a new approach. Anne-Claire implemented new habits that would help create better conditions for sleep and help starve insomnia of the oxygen it needed to survive. And, instead of trying to fight or avoid difficult the thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia, she began observing and even welcoming them. As Anne-Claire put less effort into sleep and became more willing to experience insomnia, things improved. Wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with it started to lose their power and influence and sleep — once again — became effortless. Watch/listen to this episode
Unlock the secrets to a healthier mind as we dive into the profound impact of sleep on your mental state.Our guest, Andrew Tubbs, MD/Ph.D. candidate and renowned researcher, sheds light on the groundbreaking "Mind after Midnight" study. Andrew shares insights into the impact of circadian regularity on mental well-being and other significant factors contributing to increased suicide risks and potential strategies for prevention. Gain expert advice from Andrew on how to avoid impaired judgment during sleep-deprived wakefulness. Plus, strategies to deal with sudden wake-ups, staying asleep, and paving the way for more restorative sleep experiences.Don't miss this incredible opportunity to deepen your sleep and mental health understanding. Tune in now and embark on a journey to unlock a healthier mind. BIO:Andrew Tubbs is an MD/Ph.D. candidate and researcher in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Arizona College of Medicine - Tucson. His work focuses on how sleep and circadian rhythms influence suicidal thoughts and behaviors. SHOW NOTES:
(Cloud Mountain Retreat Center) Two purposes for sense restraint - wise decisions about what to take in through the senses - using sense restraint to break the chain of dependent origination at the feeling-craving link - moderation in eating - working with drowsiness - using the SN 36:95 Malunkyaputta Sutta, SN 3:13 A Bucket Measure of Food and AN 7.61 Nodding Off.
Dharma Seed - dharmaseed.org: dharma talks and meditation instruction
(Cloud Mountain Retreat Center) Two purposes for sense restraint - wise decisions about what to take in through the senses - using sense restraint to break the chain of dependent origination at the feeling-craving link - moderation in eating - working with drowsiness - using the SN 36:95 Malunkyaputta Sutta, SN 3:13 A Bucket Measure of Food and AN 7.61 Nodding Off.
In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with Katherine Jansen-Byrkit. Katherine Jansen-Byrkit, MPH, LPC is an author, speaker, educator and Licensed Professional Counselor with over 20 years of clinical experience. Her current work follows her first career in Public Health. Prior to becoming a therapist, she obtained her Master of Public Health from the University of Washington and enjoyed many years of working on the issues of teen pregnancy, violence prevention and community wellness. But at 39 years old, she got a flirt from the Universe, a calling of sorts, to become a therapist in the footsteps of her father. What came next was a master's degree from Lewis and Clark College and a private practice where she offers individual, couples, group and retreat services. She is dedicated to personal growth and relational transformation for herself and for others and focuses on aspects of wakefulness that include cherishing the body, reclaiming intrinsic worth, cultivating conscious relationships and embracing death and dying. (00:30) Katherine's journey of healing from the inside out (05:33) Transitioning from self-loathing and feeling unlovable/unworthy to cherishing your body and yourself (10:15) Developing a sense of self (13:55) Where to start feeling compassion for yourself if you are in survival mode (17:18) Mindfulness and negative thoughts (24:35) How to cultivate healthy relationships (32:10) Wakefulness, wellness, and rewiring the brain (44:18) Meeting our pain with love (55:36) How to connect with Katherine Grab Katherine's book: Meet the host of Rewiring Health: Dr. Kelly Kessler is a licensed physical therapist, transformation coach, host of the podcast Rewiring Health, the owner of Optimal You Health and Wellness, LLC and a mom of two boys. Kelly helps high-achieving, people-pleasing, perfectionist women stop feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and in pain and to heal through nervous system regulation and subconscious reprogramming. Kelly guides her clients through personal transformation to stop being held back by limiting beliefs, pain, and never feeling good enough to becoming resilient, experiencing abundance, and connected in the mind and body. Inspired by her own journey of recovering from an eating disorder and chronic back pain, Kelly has helped many women harness their profound ability to shift from survival mode to thriving. Kelly uses an integrative approach to healing including a personalized audit, education, community support, and actionable steps to create long-lasting results. Grab the FREE Daily Checklist Here: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61a53a53aadf79eb400350f1 Website: https://www.optimalyouhealthandwellness.com Follow me on social media: https://www.instagram.com/drkellykessler https://www.facebook.com/drkellykessler Listen to the Podcast Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rewiring-health/id1627787362 Watch my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9sSX4En_HhFC6FAraXfiww --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/rewiringhealth/support
Do you have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep? Maybe it's not so much staying asleep as it is falling back to sleep after you've gotten up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, or your kids had a bad dream, or because you had a hot flash. First, rest assured, waking up in the middle of the night is normal. Second, this usually happens more as we age. Again, perfectly normal. Third, If you struggle with falling back to sleep, as in you're awake more than 25 minutes, my latest podcast episode is for you. I'm talking about what you can do to help yourself relax, to create the conditions that make that whole sleep process easier, and what to do when you have been staring at the inside of your eyelids for too long. I'm also sharing one of the most common mistakes people make when they are trying to fall back to sleep and what to do instead. So if you've been suffering from insomnia, help is on the way. From The Podcast Cooling Pad for Hot Flashes and Night Sweats Eight Sleep Mattress Cover Blue Light Blocking Night Light Our Go-To Sleep Tips Free Resources: Schedule FREE Mini-Coaching Session with Amy Lang Take my FREE Mini-Course: How To Lose Weight For The Last Time Join our private Facebook group, Moxie Club Meetup
My guest this week is Dr. Willa Blythe Baker, author of an excellent book called The Wakeful Body (affiliate link). Willa and I had a great conversation about how the body draws us into connection with ourselves and with this moment. She had recently arrived in Hawaii, and you can hear the sounds of birds singing in the background!
Thursday March 23, 2023 Ramadan 1, 1444 20 Islamic virtues that we can all implement in our lives. First Virtue: Wakefulness Three stages: 1) Realizing the blessings of Allah, 2) Acknowledge your sins, and 3) Observe the passing days and nights
Austin Duncan • Mark 13:1–13:37 • Crossroads
Austin Duncan • Mark 13:1–13:37
When you cannot sleep, even those wakeful moments have built-in blessings: they test your faith. So, minister in the house of the Lord by night by worshipping and praising the Lord as you lie awake.
At sixteen, suicidal and weighing almost 200 lbs., Katherine Jansen-Byrkit was far from feeling or living expansively. The journey of waking up for her began with a suicide attempt and the long, hard passage between despair and hope. After healing from the inside out, she shares her message. Moving from the inner world to the outer, Katherine provides insights, practices and inspirational stories as she explores nine aspects of wakefulness. This river guide reflects the human voyage of finding our way to an awakened self. As with a river traversing steep mountains and winding valleys, our inner and outer worlds can be encumbered by old beliefs, preoccupation with death, or compromised relationships to others, all of which can interfere with living wakefully. In her work, Katherine suggests another possibility: to wake up through our human life, not in spite of it. https://harborglowpublishing.com/buy-river-to-ocean https://harborglowpublishing.com/innergy-counseling @TheLiberatedHealer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Second Coming of Christ is a fundamental Christian conviction, promised by Scripture and professed by followers of Christ throughout history. Though now often neglected or misunderstood, the promise of Jesus' return remains vital. Culturally, we can be horrible at waiting. Quick “fixes” are everywhere and easily-accessible comforts can dilute our felt need for all […]
Living in the Flow of Wakefulness with Katherine Jansen-Byrkit In this episode we get curious about: Embodying wakefulness Set internal boundaries Be yourself and be resilient Do not engage in conflict Dream: Have a conviction to make it happen To learn more about our guest: Website: https://my.captivate.fm/www.harborglowholistic.com (www.harborglowholistic.com) FB: https://www.facebook.com/harborglowpublishing (https://www.facebook.com/harborglowpublishing )https://www.facebook.com/innergycounseling (https://www.facebook.com/innergycounseling) Books: https://amzn.to/3oaQony (https://amzn.to/3oaQony) To learn more about Laurin Wittig and her work: https://heartlightjoy.com/ (https://HeartLightJoy.com) Copyright 2022 Laurin Wittig
Welcome to the You Can Heal Your Life podcast. Today, we're excited to feature an excerpt from Denise Linn's Relax into Your Dreamscape meditation. Denise guides you through complete body relaxation and into the vast space between wakefulness and sleep. In this in-between state, you will review the events of your day, while releasing any anxiety or tension accumulated. You'll also step lucidly into your dreamscape with conscious awareness. You can listen to the full meditation for FREE right now in the Empower You Unlimited Audio App as part of our 7 Days to Great Sleep Challenge! During this 7-day virtual event, you'll learn practical tools and powerful techniques to help you sleep better, wake up energized, and become a healthier, happier version of yourself. The challenge starts August 15, but you'll get immediate access to the full Relax into Your Dreamscape meditation when you sign up today! Visit hayhouse.com/sleep to join for free.
Meditation: Relaxing Back into Open Wakefulness - This meditation begins by relaxing through the body and connecting with inner aliveness and space. We then include sounds and sense the openness to life. At the center of the practice is a relaxing back and inhabiting spacious awareness. The meditation ends as we experience the heart from the vantage of spacious awareness and offer prayers to our inner life and all life.
This week's conversation is with Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, a Professor of Medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, where in 1995, he founded the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society and in 1979, its world-renowned Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Clinic. Jon's research between 1979 and 2002 focused on mind/body interactions for healing, on various clinical applications of mindfulness meditation training for people with chronic pain and/or stress-related disorders, on the effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) on the brain and how it processes emotions, particularly under stress.He is the author of 14 books, including the bestsellers Full Catastrophe Living, Wherever You Go, There You Are, and Mindfulness for Beginners. His books and guided meditation programs describe meditation practice in such commonsensical, relevant, and compelling terms that mindfulness meditation practice has become a way of life for thousands of people. Jon's work has contributed to a growing movement of mindfulness into mainstream institutions such as medicine, psychology, health care, neuroscience, schools, higher education, business, social justice, criminal justice, prisons, the law, technology, government, and professional sports. Over 700 hospitals and medical centers around the world now offer MBSR. Jon lectures and leads mindfulness workshops and retreats around the world. I've been fortunate enough to attend several of them, and I can't even begin to express the impact Jon has had on my life.Not only does he teach and guide in a special way, he is a special human being. I'm excited for you all to hear what he has to share.----Please support our partners!We're able to keep growing and creating content for YOU because of their support. We believe in their mission and would appreciate you supporting them in return!!To take advantage of deals from our partners, head to http://www.findingmastery.net/partners where you'll find all discount links and codes mentioned in the podcast.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.