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Jenna's New Year: Part 1

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2025

Saint Michael's Church has a new First Lady, named Jenna.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Candlemas RompThis Sunday had brought the heaviest rain so far of 2023. The weather had caused a notable drop in the number of people attending this morning's church service, Reverend Morris noticed.Today was Candlemas, which commemorated the ritual purification of Mary, forty days after the birth of her son Jesus. This day also marked the ritual presentation of the baby Jesus to God in the Temple at Jerusalem. It reminded Jenna of her own sacred ritual of fertility, Mentula Cōleī Baptism'. She's thankful to be so blessed by God, to have such devoted church elders guiding her spiritual development.After the service, and the usual tea, biscuits and chit chat in the church hall, Reverend Morris was eager to return to the vicarage. His wife had given him "that look"; and he knew what that meant. It had been a week since they'd made love, and as he had a feeling Jenna would be more than up for "a little afternoon delight," as she termed it.Outside, the late January winter rain was still lashing down. Despite the vicarage being a five minute walk from the church, the vicar and his wife had neglected to bring an umbrella with them. By the time they arrived home, they were both soaked to the bone.Reverend Morris' hair was wet, and the legs of his trousers clung damply to him, and the back of his black shirt was also soaked. He figured he was going to come down with a nasty cold if he didn't get into some dry clothes right away. Jenna evidently had the same thought, and they went straight upstairs to the master bedroom.She opened the wardrobe doors, and he switched on a bedside lamp. Shivering, they stripped out of their wet clothes.When they were nearly undressed, they glanced at each other. Their eyes locked.Still, they didn't speak. They didn't need to.He took her in his arms, and they kissed lightly at first, tenderly. Her mouth was warm and soft and vaguely flavored with communion wine.She clutched him, pulled him closer, her fingertips digging into the muscles of his back. She pushed her mouth hard against his, scraped his lip with her teeth, thrust her tongue deep, and abruptly their kisses grew hot, demanding.Something seemed to snap in him, and in her, too, for their desire was suddenly marked by animal urgency. They responded to each other in a hungry, almost frenzied fashion, hastily casting off the last of their clothes, pawing at each other's wet bodies, squeezing, stroking. She nipped his shoulder with her teeth. He gripped her pert buttocks and kneaded them with uncharacteristic crudity, but she didn't wince or try to pull away; indeed, she pressed even more insistently against him, rubbing her breasts over his chest and grinding her hips against his. Their wet, tussled hair and slippery bodies wrestled to seduce each other into submission. The soft whimpers that escaped from her were not sounds of pain; they clearly expressed her eagerness and need.In bed, his energy was manic, and his staying power amazed him. He was insatiable, and so was she. They thrust and thrashed and flexed and tensed in perfect harmony, as if they were not only joined but fused, as if they were a single organism, shaken by only one set of stimuli instead of two. Every vestige of civilization slipped from them, and for a long while the only noises they made were animal sounds: panting; groaning; throaty grunts of pleasure; short, sharp cries of excitement. At last Jenna uttered the first word to pass between them since they had left the church:"Oh my God!"And again, arching her slender, graceful body, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow: "Yes, yes!" It was not merely an orgasm to which she was saying yes, for she'd already had a couple of those and had announced them with only ragged breathing and soft mewling. She was saying yes to life.The vicar repeated the word as if chanting a sacred incantation,"Yes, yes, yes!"as he emptied his cum into her a second time.Spent, they stretched out on their backs, side by side on the disheveled bed. For a long time they listened to the rain on the roof and to the persistent thunder, which was no longer loud enough to rattle the windows. Wind howled around the side of the house.Jenna lay with her eyes closed, her face completely relaxed."Lovely service this morning, Simon!" She said at last. "Great choice of hymns.""It certainly was. I think my sermon went down well. Shame about the weather.""Hmm, I don't know - I think the rainy weather makes me much hornier than normal!" It isn't even February, but my winter ‘cabin fever' has already set in. Get ready for more of this ravishing sex, my stud!"Happy Candlemas, Jenna," Reverend Morris replied.Jenna & the Church Trip: Part 1“Thine be the glory hole!”More light-hearted goings-on with vicar's wife Jenna. New year, new naughtiness, and a dull coach trip organized by the church might turn out to be more fun than expected! God works in mysterious ways. For Jenna's husband, it was relief from a nymph wife who had few other ways to occupy herself, besides sexual romps, at all hours of the day and night."I'm so pleased that Alpha and Omega coach holidays have re-started their short breaks," Reverend Simon Morris excitedly exclaimed. "I've just booked us on the three-day trip to Epworth!"His wife Jenna looked up from her phone. "Epworth? Where's that?""It's in Lincolnshire. Now I know what you're thinking, it's January, the excitement of Christmas and the New Year is over and it's such a dull time of year. The weather is awful and what I really should be doing is booking us a fortnight in the Maldives or Barbados to escape the British winter blues. But instead I've booked us a coach trip to Lincolnshire,"Jenna tried to look interested. "Well, I've never been to Lincolnshire. Always nice to see somewhere new.""The reason I booked this trip is that Epworth is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley. I thought you'd like to see it. After all, you are a big fan of them, yes?" He winked at her. "Oakwood Road Methodist Church are forever grateful to you for what you did last year."Jenna grinned. "I'd love to see their birthplace. So, when is this trip?""Next Monday. I think it'll be a fun little getaway. Gordon's coming along too. Oh and so is Barry, his cousin."That made Jenna perk up. Ooh, she thought to herself. I wonder if he's as hot? "He's recovered from his broken ankle then?""As far as I know, he's made a full recovery. His daughter Lisa came over from Florida to stay with him, so Gordon was relieved at that.""Thank goodness for that," Jenna replied. She'd really missed seeing her favorite organist. Oakwood's organist Raymond Wilson had done a superb job standing in for Gordon, thanks to some "gentle persuasion" from Jenna on Christmas Eve. "What sort of hotel are we staying at?"Reverend Morris looked at the Alpha and Omega brochure. "Hmm. We're staying at a hotel just outside Epworth that was originally a 17th century coaching inn. It's called The Parson's Knob, "Jenna almost spat out the coffee she was drinking. "Seriously?""I'm sure there is an innocent explanation for that name! Then again, maybe not! According to the travel agent, all twenty rooms of the hotel had been booked up for a group of Albanian asylum seekers. However for some bizarre reason, after a few days, the Albanians all begged to be transferred to a Travelodge a few miles away.""That is weird," Jenna replied. "I'd much rather stay in a lovely old historical inn than some crappy Travelodge. Oh well. Maybe they wanted somewhere a bit more modern?""Perhaps?"The day of the trip arrived. The British weather was true to form, and it had been raining hard since dawn. "When's the coach due again?" Jenna asked as she and Reverend Morris shivered at the bus stop opposite the railway station."Should be here now," her husband replied. "Oh look, there's Gordon and Barry!""Hmm, maybe this trip won't be so dull after all!" She smirked. Barry was basically a clone of Gordon. "Looks more like his identical twin brother than his cousin!" The only difference being that Barry was wearing glasses. The resemblance was uncanny."I don't know why I let you talk me into coming with you on this trip," Barry moaned as he and Gordon approached the bus stop. "You know I'm not a member of the God Squad, ""You haven't met the vicar's wife yet," Gordon whispered."Oh, this the lass you've got the hots for?" His skeptical cousin rolled his eyes."I think you'll find quite a lot of the fellas at St. Michael's Church have the hots for her," Gordon replied. "Oh God, there she is!"Barry adjusted his glasses. "Bloody hell. You weren't kidding when you said she was a bit of a fox, were you? Dream on! She's way too young for you, Gordy! I'd say she's way too young for the vicar too, but she must have a thing for older men if she's ended up marrying him,"Gordon chuckled. "If only you knew half of the things that go on at St. Michael's, dear cousin. If you did, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag you away from the Sunday Eucharist!""Hello!" Jenna said. "Oh Gordon, is this your cousin?""Hiya, and yes, this is Barry. He's not been won over by St. Michael's yet,""I see. Nice to meet you! Maybe you'll think differently about our church after you've been on this trip?""Perhaps," Barry interrupted, ogling Jenna, until Gordon gave him a nudge.Ten minutes later, a white minibus pulled up at the bus stop."Oh, I was expecting a coach," said Jenna. Further along the street, came Josh the curate and Norman the churchwarden."Not as many people booked as was expected," Reverend Morris replied. "I blame the weather. Afraid there's only six of us!"The group boarded the bus. Barry turned to Gordon. "She's not the typical vicar's wife is she?""Oh not at all," Gordon smiled.Barely half an hour into the journey and as always tended to happen on road trips, someone needed the toilet.Reverend Morris rolled his eyes. "Oh for goodness sake, we've only just set off. We're not due to stop for another hour, when we have our lunch at Cusworth Hall in Doncaster!"This does tend to happen when you have elderly passengers," the bus driver remarked. "I know. I've been doing this job for thirty years. The stories I could tell you!""We haven't got any elderly passengers," the vicar replied. "It's our organist who needs to go. As usual!""Oi, it's not my fault my bloody prostate makes me pee more!" Gordon yelled from the back of the bus. "You're not being very Christian today, Vicar! How about some compassion for your fellow man?""Yes, yes, alright. I'm sorry Gordon. Alright, we'll find somewhere to pull in for a quick comfort break. Is that okay with you, Ahmed?""No worries," the bus driver replied, checking the sat nav. "There's a coach stop a couple of miles away. I'll just come off at the next junction and it's right there. I've stopped at it a few times. It's a bit down at heel, but,""That'll do. As long as there are toilets.""Oh yeah. They're unisex though, and a bit, grimy. Is that a problem?""Not at all," Reverend Morris smirked. "Any port in a storm, as the old saying goes!"The minibus exited the motorway. A short time later, it pulled onto the car park of Jed's Butty Hut, a sandwich restaurant in a 1960s prefab that had seen better days."Right," Reverend Morris said, checking his watch. "We'll have a fifteen minute stop here. Can everyone be back on the bus by ten o'clock please?"The toilets were at the back of the main building. Gordon hurried in first. There were five cubicles, each with its own nauseating odor. He entered the first one. The toilet was missing a seat and the bowl was overflowing with vomit."Ugh. No thanks." He hurried out and entered the next one. A dead crow was sticking out of the toilet, beak wide open and wings spread, reminiscent of a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds."Fuck," he muttered, rushing out and into the third one. This toilet seemed clean enough, only a few cigarette ends and crack pipes floating in it.A few minutes later, Jenna decided to relieve herself, even though she could've held on until Doncaster. It was always the same on a trip. You got the urge to go even though you didn't actually need to go.The pretty redhead went into the end cubicle, which was the cleanest of the lot. Graffiti was daubed all over the walls, the usual expletives, plus crude drawings of cocks done in black marker pen. An urban art gallery for the times, she remarked to herself as she did her thing. It was then that she noticed a neat, circular hole on the lower right side of the partition wall."Ooh, a glory hole," she said to herself. "I wonder if it's well-used?""Why don't we try it out?" A muffled voice in the next cubicle muttered. Seconds later, a cock poked through it!"Gordon, is that you?" Jenna whispered. The shaft was thick just like his."No," the mystery man replied. She didn't recognize his voice, so he had to be someone from the restaurant. Jenna gasped. A burst of excitement ran through her, at the thought of touching this stranger's cock. At the same time, the danger associated with doing this seemed to add to the thrill.With her right hand, she reached down, slowly tracing up and down the length of the engorged cock with her palm. The man let out a groan. The size and hardness of his member increased Jenna's excitement. Her cunt was getting increasingly wet in anticipation, and she quickly knelt down in front of the generous offering.She rolled her tongue around its circumference and sucked on it as she would a piece of fruit, trying to get every drop of pre-cum. Not content with just a portion, she began to slowly venture down the shaft. With every thrust forward, she took more of it down her throat."Oh!" The mystery man exclaimed. He moaned in pleasure and bestowed every compliment he could think of on her.Jenna withdrew in order to say something. "What a gentleman you are!""Well you're damned good," came his reply.With every bobbing of her head, Jenna made progress toward the base. Above the slurping sounds she made as she wetted the shaft with her saliva, she could hear the stranger gently moaning with approval at her technique. She began to vary her speed; one moment erupting with a robust attack, then at an instant slowing her pace to relish the feast.Feeling the end would arrive soon, Jenna quickened her speed. She too, felt the rising heat from her crotch swelling to an orgasmic crescendo. Then, at the apex of pleasure, there erupted from deep within her cunt a spasm, which rapidly spread a pleasing warmth all over her body.The man's body stiffened as he released his full load into Jenna's mouth with a mighty groan. When every drop had been expelled, he slowly withdrew his rod from the glory hole."Mmm, delicious," Jenna said, swallowing all the cum. There was the sound of a zipper being fastened. Suddenly she heard the main door of the toilets open and a group of people enter. She stood up and flushed the toilet. The mystery man exited the cubicle before Jenna was able to peek through the glory hole to see who he was."Oh shit," Jenna muttered, checking her smartphone. It was ten o'clock. "Simon's not going to be too happy."Hurrying out of the toilet, she washed her hands and dashed out."Sorry I'm last guys," she said, getting back on the bus. "Those toilets were gross. I wasted time putting loads of paper on the seat.""Don't blame you," Reverend Morris replied. "I confess, I couldn't bring myself to go in! I'm squeamish about public loos, especially filthy ones. I'll just cross my legs until we get to Doncaster!"The minibus pulled out of the car park.Gordon glanced at his cousin, who appeared to be in a daze. "What's the matter with you? The sight of that dead bird in the bog?""Uh, what?" Barry replied, staring straight ahead."Never mind. You mustn't have seen it.""I've seen the light," said Barry."Are you hammered or something?"Barry smiled and turned to Gordon. "You were right! She isn't the typical vicar's wife!"As the minibus exited the M180 motorway and drew near to its destination, tall pines crowded the sides of a long main road. They formed a grey-green tunnel, casting long shadows in the late-afternoon light. The day was cloudless yet strangely forbidding, Reverend Morris mused."Well the weather's a lot better than it was this morning!" Jenna said, knocking her husband out of his thoughts. "The land sure is flat round here. No hills anywhere.""I think some parts of the Fens are below sea level," Reverend Morris said. "The highest point is World's Top. Lots of beautiful areas for walking and such, shame we haven't the time to explore the Wolds. Oh well, there'll be other times. I'm looking forward to getting off this bus and stretching my legs, though!"A road sign appeared. Epworth, 2 miles.A few houses were tucked in the purple gloom among the trees on both sides of the road; their windows glowed with soft yellow light even an hour before nightfall. Most were Georgian-era red brick cottages with terracotta roof tiles.The Parson's Knob was a 3 story building dating back to the 1690s. Once a coaching inn, it had gone through various occupations before being converted into a hotel. As the minibus pulled onto the car park, a peculiar sense of wrongness immediately overcame Reverend Morris. He could not identify the reasons for his instant negative reaction to the place, though perhaps it was related to the somber interplay of light and shadow caused by the tall conifers encircling the car park. At this dying end of the January day, in the cheerless sunlight, the white painted exterior of the building gleamed as if built from time-bleached bones. The shadows cast by the trees were stark, spiky, razor-edged.Exiting the minibus, the small group made their way into the hotel. There was no-one at the reception desk."Ah, typical British service," Gordon muttered to Barry. "Non-existent."As the group waited for a member of staff to arrive, Reverend Morris paused to study the other guests in the lounge. Not many were there, four or five people, mostly middle-aged. They also struck him as wrong, though his reasons for thinking ill of them were less definable than those that fanned his impression of the hotel itself. They looked uneasy, one man wandering around with peculiar air of urgency that seemed unsuited to an old-fashioned hotel such as this.Reverend Morris sighed and headed back to the reception desk, telling himself that his imagination was running wild.Gordon, not known for patience, pressed the bell on the reception desk again."Does anyone work at this place? We've been stood here for ten minutes!"Moments a later, an overworked-looking Eastern European woman came hurrying behind the desk."I'm so sorry for your wait! We're really short-staffed at the moment. Many workers have gone on strike.""Makes a change from being absent due to testing positive I suppose," Gordon replied and the vicar pulled a face at him."We've only four rooms available, the receptionist replied. "A lot of rooms are, being redecorated. Mr. and Mrs. Morris, you're in Room 13, which has a double bed." She turned to the others. "Which leaves three rooms, all with two single beds. Someone will have a room of their own, but the other four of you will have to share. Are you gentleman okay with sharing?"Josh looked at Norman. "That's fine by me."Gordon looked horrified. "I'm not sharing a room with my cousin. He snores!""What? No I don't!" Barry shouted."You do. When I was seeing to you over Christmas when you had that broken ankle, you nodded off on the couch and your snoring was that bad, doors were opening and closing."Ahmed the bus driver attempted to calm the situation. "I don't mind sharing. My wife snores. They can hear her snores in Bradford. I'm used to it though. I just put my wireless earbuds in.""Okay, thanks, that's sorted then. Mr. Leesmith, you get the room of your own then, yes?""Suits me!" Gordon smiled. "I prefer a room all to myself."Jenna smirked. "Unless you have to share a room with a woman, or a pipe organ, right?"He winked back at her. "You know me so well!"Barry raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, "Reverend Morris and Jenna trudged up three flights of stairs to get to the room, seeing as the lift was out of order."Good thing we've just got overnight bags instead of heavy suitcases," he said. "I'm not too enamored with this place so far.""What do you expect for such a low price though? It could be so much worse. It's dated and badly in need of re-decorating, but it seems clean enough. Cheer up Simon!" Jenna said. Already she was thinking of Gordon, all alone in his room. Maybe I could read him a bedtime story,"Yep, you're right. Sorry for being such a misery guts today. Not very Christian is it?"The vicar had arrived with the knowledge that something was rotten there, so of course he saw ominous signs in a perfectly innocent scene.At least that was what he told himself. But he knew better.During the wait at the reception desk, he'd overheard two of the guests discussing the hotel. Why had the Albanians left in such a hurry? What was the real reason for the workers going on strike? Reverend Morris had a hunch that the truth, once uncovered, would be unusually disturbing.Room 13, despite the bad luck associated with such a number, was decent enough, clean, double bed and a view overlooking the River Torne."Ooh comfy!" Jenna flopped on the bed. Reverend Morris peered out of the window. To the west, the sun sank through a sky that was slowly turning muddy red. Serpentine tendrils of fog began to rise off the water."There's a bit of a disagreeable chill in this room. I suppose it's because this window isn't double glazed." He sat down on the bed, still feeling a dim but persistent sense of unease.Jenna bit her lip. "Why don't we have some, fun?" She whispered something in her husband's ear and his eyes widened."My dear, are you sure?"She stood up and began loosening her clothing. "Long journeys make me so horny. What do you think John Wesley would do after a long journey?"He blinked. "Well, usually, he'd sit reading his Bible,""Hmm. In that case, let me lead you into temptation." She removed the last of her clothes.Reverend Morris immediately had a raging boner. "What a good idea!" The negative thoughts vanished from his mind as his wife began pleasuring herself.Jenna's eyes were heavy-lidded as she stared at the outline of the reverend's cock, which was presently tenting his black trousers. She lay back on the bed, and her bare foot slowly stroked up the inside of his thigh caressing the bulge of his manhood. Reverend Morris moaned at her sensual touch and thrust his hips instinctively against her foot. He raised her leg, ran his tongue lightly along the sole of her other foot, making her giggle. A low laugh rumbled in his throat as he went back to her toes, kissing each one before working his way up her smooth leg."Oh Simon,"She murmured his name in a needy whine, spreading her milky thighs further apart as his mouth slowly kissed and licked closer to her core. Unable to resist such an invitation, he settled on his stomach between her legs. He drew his tongue along her hot slit then closed his mouth over it to suck up her sweet juices. Jenna gasped, arching her back. Her husband began to worship her eagerly, her taste inflaming his want. She cried out then, rocking her hips and coming in his mouth. After savoring her juices, Reverend Morris stood up, unzipped his trousers, pulled out his cock and began lazily stroking it. She purred at the sight, sitting up in front of him and wrapping her hand around the base of the shaft."Let me bless you."He moved his hand and allowed her to stroke him. "Mmm, I am blessed in many ways, and eternally thankful!""Seeing as this hotel hasn't impressed you, it's up to me to make our stay here memorable." Jenna smiled and crawled in his lap, straddling him. The feeling of having her so close in his arms as she jacked him with her hand was intense because her cunt hovered so close to the head of his cock. Growling, Reverend Morris grasped her arse cheeks. Jenna closed her eyes in joy.At that point, an unseen presence in the room grew tired of being a mere spectator and decided to join in.He knelt behind Jenna so that she was sandwiched between the two of them, and began stroking her lower back.Reverend Morris began caressing her breasts. She let out a little moan at his touch.Enjoying her reaction, the invisible one moved his right hand down and he very gently used his index finger to massage her arsehole."Ooh Simon. That's new, but I like it!""What is?""Huh?" Jenna opened her eyes and realized both his hands were still on her tits. "I just felt something finger my butthole, ah!"Arching her back and squeezing her husband's cock with her hand, she uttered a breathy scream."Simon, I think there's a ghost in here!" Jenna whimpered in response as the unseen presence put firm pressure on her rosebud. "Ahh, he's fingering my arse!""I can't see anyone," Reverend Morris moaned, desperate to feel the tight walls of Jenna's sex engulf him. "Maybe John Wesley's come looking for you?" He shifted his hips so the head of his aching shaft was nestled at her entrance."I'm being serious here!"Someone continued to stroke her arsehole, gradually putting more pressure until the tip of his finger was inside."Mmm yes," Reverend Morris sighed, too under the spell of arousal to care.Jenna sighed in pleasure, steadily lowering herself onto her husband's cock. The unseen one pushed his finger a little bit further inside her tight anal passage. Jenna let out a surprised squeak of pleasure and wiggled her hips until he was fully embedded inside of her, .his finger and her husband's cock now filling her sweet holes.Reverend Morris moaned as he intensified his strokes, plunging his cock in and out of her cunt. Jenna cried out in delight at this and then the unseen one's finger pressed deeper still and suddenly she was coming again. Her clenching walls coupled with an invisible finger embedded in her arse created a tightness around Reverend Morris' cock beyond anything he thought possible and with the first compression of her orgasm around his cock, a low whine escaped his throat and he came, filling her with his seed.The unknown entity carefully withdrew his finger from Jenna's arse. There was no time for her to catch her breath.She murmured, as her husband moved away, stroking his softening cock. Suddenly, something slid up her arse, thrusting gently to begin with. She was surprised that it didn't hurt at all. She'd never experienced anal before but had read it could be extremely painful. And without lube, well that didn't bear thinking about!"Ahha, ha, who are you, what are you?" Jenna panted.The invisible presence shot a massive load of cum deep inside her arse and she closed her eyes tight. He pulled out, and Jenna panted, sweat running off her and cum oozing out of both orifices,"Oh," Jenna gasped, flopping forward. A yell of terror from her husband finally brought her to her senses."Oh my God!""What's wrong, Simon?""There! There!" His eyes were wide with fright and he was pointing. "Behind you! Who, what is that? He's got no head!"Jenna looked round. He was dressed in black. A white collar. The unmistakable clothing of a Cromwellian-era preacher. And was completely without a head."A headless ghost has just had anal sex with me," Jenna blinked. "I'm, kind of okay with this. I had a threesome with my vicar husband and a ghost. Is that a holy trinity or an unholy one?"Reverend Morris twitched and fainted."What a shame you can't talk," Jenna said, standing before him. "I wonder who you are? Did I please you? If I did, maybe you could bow?"The headless ghost bowed and vanished."Aww. Well he seemed satisfied." She rushed over to her husband, who was staggering to his feet. "It's alright Simon. He's gone.""I didn't just imagine all that did I?" Reverend Morris groaned, sitting on the bed. "We just, encountered a headless ghost?""Oh he was real alright. He came in my arse!""Are you sure you okay? Did he; it hurt you?""I'm fine! Was a bit of a surprise, but a pleasant one.""Hmm, I think we should say a prayer for that lost soul," Reverend Morris replied. "I wouldn't like to think he'll return later tonight.""Oh I don't think he will," Jenna smiled. "He was just horny and he is satisfied now. He bowed at me before he disappeared.""I guess that explains why those Albanians begged to be transferred to the Travelodge! The travel agent never said anything about this place being haunted. No wonder its half-empty!"LaterIt was around five minutes after midnight. In Room 11, Gordon was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. Despite wearing nothing but his vest and y-fronts, he was boiling hot, and sweat was running down his brow."God, this room's like a furnace!" He groaned, throwing the duvet off and switching the bedside lamp on. He staggered over to the radiator. It was as cold as ice."Why's it so hot in here? Hope I'm not coming down with flu or something."Gordon made his way into the bathroom and fumbled around for the light pull cord. Intending to splash his face with cold water, he hurriedly turned the washbasin tap, but instead of water, black powder shot out of it."What the fuck?" He squinted at the stuff. "Looks like soil. A right dump this place is.A curious smoky smell met his nose. There was something familiar about the smell, it reminded him of fireworks. Hearing faint laughter, Gordon looked in the mirror."Bloody hell!"Ahmed and Barry were rudely awakened by a furious banging on the bedroom door."What the?" Barry groaned, getting out of bed. "Who can that be? Almost knocking the door down!""Might be a drunk or a crackhead," Ahmed said. "Don't open the door. They usually get bored and go bother someone else."Barry! Barry! Let me in!" Gordon yelled.Barry opened the door and was almost knocked over as Gordon dashed in."Can I sleep here? I have to sleep in here!""Whoa, whoa, calm down. What's happened?" Barry said."Can I sleep here?" Gordon prattled. The color had drained from his face."There's no spare bed.""Do you think I care about that?" Gordon yelled, grabbing his cousin by the front of his pajamas. "I'll sleep on the floor! I can't go back to that room! Oh my God. I've just had the shock of my life!""Did someone break into your room?" Ahmed asked."Break in? Not much chance of stopping a ghost from breaking in is there? My bloody room is haunted!"To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.

Jenna's New Year: Part 1

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2024

Saint Michael's Church has a new First Lady, named Jenna.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Candlemas RompThis Sunday had brought the heaviest rain so far of 2023. The weather had caused a notable drop in the number of people attending this morning's church service, Reverend Morris noticed.Today was Candlemas, which commemorated the ritual purification of Mary, forty days after the birth of her son Jesus. This day also marked the ritual presentation of the baby Jesus to God in the Temple at Jerusalem. It reminded Jenna of her own sacred ritual of fertility, Mentula Cōleī Baptism'. She's thankful to be so blessed by God, to have such devoted church elders guiding her spiritual development.After the service, and the usual tea, biscuits and chit chat in the church hall, Reverend Morris was eager to return to the vicarage. His wife had given him "that look"; and he knew what that meant. It had been a week since they'd made love, and as he had a feeling Jenna would be more than up for "a little afternoon delight," as she termed it.Outside, the late January winter rain was still lashing down. Despite the vicarage being a five minute walk from the church, the vicar and his wife had neglected to bring an umbrella with them. By the time they arrived home, they were both soaked to the bone.Reverend Morris' hair was wet, and the legs of his trousers clung damply to him, and the back of his black shirt was also soaked. He figured he was going to come down with a nasty cold if he didn't get into some dry clothes right away. Jenna evidently had the same thought, and they went straight upstairs to the master bedroom.She opened the wardrobe doors, and he switched on a bedside lamp. Shivering, they stripped out of their wet clothes.When they were nearly undressed, they glanced at each other. Their eyes locked.Still, they didn't speak. They didn't need to.He took her in his arms, and they kissed lightly at first, tenderly. Her mouth was warm and soft and vaguely flavored with communion wine.She clutched him, pulled him closer, her fingertips digging into the muscles of his back. She pushed her mouth hard against his, scraped his lip with her teeth, thrust her tongue deep, and abruptly their kisses grew hot, demanding.Something seemed to snap in him, and in her, too, for their desire was suddenly marked by animal urgency. They responded to each other in a hungry, almost frenzied fashion, hastily casting off the last of their clothes, pawing at each other's wet bodies, squeezing, stroking. She nipped his shoulder with her teeth. He gripped her pert buttocks and kneaded them with uncharacteristic crudity, but she didn't wince or try to pull away; indeed, she pressed even more insistently against him, rubbing her breasts over his chest and grinding her hips against his. Their wet, tussled hair and slippery bodies wrestled to seduce each other into submission. The soft whimpers that escaped from her were not sounds of pain; they clearly expressed her eagerness and need.In bed, his energy was manic, and his staying power amazed him. He was insatiable, and so was she. They thrust and thrashed and flexed and tensed in perfect harmony, as if they were not only joined but fused, as if they were a single organism, shaken by only one set of stimuli instead of two. Every vestige of civilization slipped from them, and for a long while the only noises they made were animal sounds: panting; groaning; throaty grunts of pleasure; short, sharp cries of excitement. At last Jenna uttered the first word to pass between them since they had left the church:"Oh my God!"And again, arching her slender, graceful body, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow: "Yes, yes!" It was not merely an orgasm to which she was saying yes, for she'd already had a couple of those and had announced them with only ragged breathing and soft mewling. She was saying yes to life.The vicar repeated the word as if chanting a sacred incantation,"Yes, yes, yes!"as he emptied his cum into her a second time.Spent, they stretched out on their backs, side by side on the disheveled bed. For a long time they listened to the rain on the roof and to the persistent thunder, which was no longer loud enough to rattle the windows. Wind howled around the side of the house.Jenna lay with her eyes closed, her face completely relaxed."Lovely service this morning, Simon!" She said at last. "Great choice of hymns.""It certainly was. I think my sermon went down well. Shame about the weather.""Hmm, I don't know - I think the rainy weather makes me much hornier than normal!" It isn't even February, but my winter ‘cabin fever' has already set in. Get ready for more of this ravishing sex, my stud!"Happy Candlemas, Jenna," Reverend Morris replied.Jenna & the Church Trip: Part 1“Thine be the glory hole!”More light-hearted goings-on with vicar's wife Jenna. New year, new naughtiness, and a dull coach trip organized by the church might turn out to be more fun than expected! God works in mysterious ways. For Jenna's husband, it was relief from a nymph wife who had few other ways to occupy herself, besides sexual romps, at all hours of the day and night."I'm so pleased that Alpha and Omega coach holidays have re-started their short breaks," Reverend Simon Morris excitedly exclaimed. "I've just booked us on the three-day trip to Epworth!"His wife Jenna looked up from her phone. "Epworth? Where's that?""It's in Lincolnshire. Now I know what you're thinking, it's January, the excitement of Christmas and the New Year is over and it's such a dull time of year. The weather is awful and what I really should be doing is booking us a fortnight in the Maldives or Barbados to escape the British winter blues. But instead I've booked us a coach trip to Lincolnshire,"Jenna tried to look interested. "Well, I've never been to Lincolnshire. Always nice to see somewhere new.""The reason I booked this trip is that Epworth is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley. I thought you'd like to see it. After all, you are a big fan of them, yes?" He winked at her. "Oakwood Road Methodist Church are forever grateful to you for what you did last year."Jenna grinned. "I'd love to see their birthplace. So, when is this trip?""Next Monday. I think it'll be a fun little getaway. Gordon's coming along too. Oh and so is Barry, his cousin."That made Jenna perk up. Ooh, she thought to herself. I wonder if he's as hot? "He's recovered from his broken ankle then?""As far as I know, he's made a full recovery. His daughter Lisa came over from Florida to stay with him, so Gordon was relieved at that.""Thank goodness for that," Jenna replied. She'd really missed seeing her favorite organist. Oakwood's organist Raymond Wilson had done a superb job standing in for Gordon, thanks to some "gentle persuasion" from Jenna on Christmas Eve. "What sort of hotel are we staying at?"Reverend Morris looked at the Alpha and Omega brochure. "Hmm. We're staying at a hotel just outside Epworth that was originally a 17th century coaching inn. It's called The Parson's Knob, "Jenna almost spat out the coffee she was drinking. "Seriously?""I'm sure there is an innocent explanation for that name! Then again, maybe not! According to the travel agent, all twenty rooms of the hotel had been booked up for a group of Albanian asylum seekers. However for some bizarre reason, after a few days, the Albanians all begged to be transferred to a Travelodge a few miles away.""That is weird," Jenna replied. "I'd much rather stay in a lovely old historical inn than some crappy Travelodge. Oh well. Maybe they wanted somewhere a bit more modern?""Perhaps?"The day of the trip arrived. The British weather was true to form, and it had been raining hard since dawn. "When's the coach due again?" Jenna asked as she and Reverend Morris shivered at the bus stop opposite the railway station."Should be here now," her husband replied. "Oh look, there's Gordon and Barry!""Hmm, maybe this trip won't be so dull after all!" She smirked. Barry was basically a clone of Gordon. "Looks more like his identical twin brother than his cousin!" The only difference being that Barry was wearing glasses. The resemblance was uncanny."I don't know why I let you talk me into coming with you on this trip," Barry moaned as he and Gordon approached the bus stop. "You know I'm not a member of the God Squad, ""You haven't met the vicar's wife yet," Gordon whispered."Oh, this the lass you've got the hots for?" His skeptical cousin rolled his eyes."I think you'll find quite a lot of the fellas at St. Michael's Church have the hots for her," Gordon replied. "Oh God, there she is!"Barry adjusted his glasses. "Bloody hell. You weren't kidding when you said she was a bit of a fox, were you? Dream on! She's way too young for you, Gordy! I'd say she's way too young for the vicar too, but she must have a thing for older men if she's ended up marrying him,"Gordon chuckled. "If only you knew half of the things that go on at St. Michael's, dear cousin. If you did, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag you away from the Sunday Eucharist!""Hello!" Jenna said. "Oh Gordon, is this your cousin?""Hiya, and yes, this is Barry. He's not been won over by St. Michael's yet,""I see. Nice to meet you! Maybe you'll think differently about our church after you've been on this trip?""Perhaps," Barry interrupted, ogling Jenna, until Gordon gave him a nudge.Ten minutes later, a white minibus pulled up at the bus stop."Oh, I was expecting a coach," said Jenna. Further along the street, came Josh the curate and Norman the churchwarden."Not as many people booked as was expected," Reverend Morris replied. "I blame the weather. Afraid there's only six of us!"The group boarded the bus. Barry turned to Gordon. "She's not the typical vicar's wife is she?""Oh not at all," Gordon smiled.Barely half an hour into the journey and as always tended to happen on road trips, someone needed the toilet.Reverend Morris rolled his eyes. "Oh for goodness sake, we've only just set off. We're not due to stop for another hour, when we have our lunch at Cusworth Hall in Doncaster!"This does tend to happen when you have elderly passengers," the bus driver remarked. "I know. I've been doing this job for thirty years. The stories I could tell you!""We haven't got any elderly passengers," the vicar replied. "It's our organist who needs to go. As usual!""Oi, it's not my fault my bloody prostate makes me pee more!" Gordon yelled from the back of the bus. "You're not being very Christian today, Vicar! How about some compassion for your fellow man?""Yes, yes, alright. I'm sorry Gordon. Alright, we'll find somewhere to pull in for a quick comfort break. Is that okay with you, Ahmed?""No worries," the bus driver replied, checking the sat nav. "There's a coach stop a couple of miles away. I'll just come off at the next junction and it's right there. I've stopped at it a few times. It's a bit down at heel, but,""That'll do. As long as there are toilets.""Oh yeah. They're unisex though, and a bit, grimy. Is that a problem?""Not at all," Reverend Morris smirked. "Any port in a storm, as the old saying goes!"The minibus exited the motorway. A short time later, it pulled onto the car park of Jed's Butty Hut, a sandwich restaurant in a 1960s prefab that had seen better days."Right," Reverend Morris said, checking his watch. "We'll have a fifteen minute stop here. Can everyone be back on the bus by ten o'clock please?"The toilets were at the back of the main building. Gordon hurried in first. There were five cubicles, each with its own nauseating odor. He entered the first one. The toilet was missing a seat and the bowl was overflowing with vomit."Ugh. No thanks." He hurried out and entered the next one. A dead crow was sticking out of the toilet, beak wide open and wings spread, reminiscent of a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds."Fuck," he muttered, rushing out and into the third one. This toilet seemed clean enough, only a few cigarette ends and crack pipes floating in it.A few minutes later, Jenna decided to relieve herself, even though she could've held on until Doncaster. It was always the same on a trip. You got the urge to go even though you didn't actually need to go.The pretty redhead went into the end cubicle, which was the cleanest of the lot. Graffiti was daubed all over the walls, the usual expletives, plus crude drawings of cocks done in black marker pen. An urban art gallery for the times, she remarked to herself as she did her thing. It was then that she noticed a neat, circular hole on the lower right side of the partition wall."Ooh, a glory hole," she said to herself. "I wonder if it's well-used?""Why don't we try it out?" A muffled voice in the next cubicle muttered. Seconds later, a cock poked through it!"Gordon, is that you?" Jenna whispered. The shaft was thick just like his."No," the mystery man replied. She didn't recognize his voice, so he had to be someone from the restaurant. Jenna gasped. A burst of excitement ran through her, at the thought of touching this stranger's cock. At the same time, the danger associated with doing this seemed to add to the thrill.With her right hand, she reached down, slowly tracing up and down the length of the engorged cock with her palm. The man let out a groan. The size and hardness of his member increased Jenna's excitement. Her cunt was getting increasingly wet in anticipation, and she quickly knelt down in front of the generous offering.She rolled her tongue around its circumference and sucked on it as she would a piece of fruit, trying to get every drop of pre-cum. Not content with just a portion, she began to slowly venture down the shaft. With every thrust forward, she took more of it down her throat."Oh!" The mystery man exclaimed. He moaned in pleasure and bestowed every compliment he could think of on her.Jenna withdrew in order to say something. "What a gentleman you are!""Well you're damned good," came his reply.With every bobbing of her head, Jenna made progress toward the base. Above the slurping sounds she made as she wetted the shaft with her saliva, she could hear the stranger gently moaning with approval at her technique. She began to vary her speed; one moment erupting with a robust attack, then at an instant slowing her pace to relish the feast.Feeling the end would arrive soon, Jenna quickened her speed. She too, felt the rising heat from her crotch swelling to an orgasmic crescendo. Then, at the apex of pleasure, there erupted from deep within her cunt a spasm, which rapidly spread a pleasing warmth all over her body.The man's body stiffened as he released his full load into Jenna's mouth with a mighty groan. When every drop had been expelled, he slowly withdrew his rod fr

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Jenna's New Year: Part 1

Steamy Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2024

Saint Michael's Church has a new First Lady, named Jenna.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Candlemas RompThis Sunday had brought the heaviest rain so far of 2023. The weather had caused a notable drop in the number of people attending this morning's church service, Reverend Morris noticed.Today was Candlemas, which commemorated the ritual purification of Mary, forty days after the birth of her son Jesus. This day also marked the ritual presentation of the baby Jesus to God in the Temple at Jerusalem. It reminded Jenna of her own sacred ritual of fertility, Mentula Cōleī Baptism'. She's thankful to be so blessed by God, to have such devoted church elders guiding her spiritual development.After the service, and the usual tea, biscuits and chit chat in the church hall, Reverend Morris was eager to return to the vicarage. His wife had given him "that look"; and he knew what that meant. It had been a week since they'd made love, and as he had a feeling Jenna would be more than up for "a little afternoon delight," as she termed it.Outside, the late January winter rain was still lashing down. Despite the vicarage being a five minute walk from the church, the vicar and his wife had neglected to bring an umbrella with them. By the time they arrived home, they were both soaked to the bone.Reverend Morris' hair was wet, and the legs of his trousers clung damply to him, and the back of his black shirt was also soaked. He figured he was going to come down with a nasty cold if he didn't get into some dry clothes right away. Jenna evidently had the same thought, and they went straight upstairs to the master bedroom.She opened the wardrobe doors, and he switched on a bedside lamp. Shivering, they stripped out of their wet clothes.When they were nearly undressed, they glanced at each other. Their eyes locked.Still, they didn't speak. They didn't need to.He took her in his arms, and they kissed lightly at first, tenderly. Her mouth was warm and soft and vaguely flavored with communion wine.She clutched him, pulled him closer, her fingertips digging into the muscles of his back. She pushed her mouth hard against his, scraped his lip with her teeth, thrust her tongue deep, and abruptly their kisses grew hot, demanding.Something seemed to snap in him, and in her, too, for their desire was suddenly marked by animal urgency. They responded to each other in a hungry, almost frenzied fashion, hastily casting off the last of their clothes, pawing at each other's wet bodies, squeezing, stroking. She nipped his shoulder with her teeth. He gripped her pert buttocks and kneaded them with uncharacteristic crudity, but she didn't wince or try to pull away; indeed, she pressed even more insistently against him, rubbing her breasts over his chest and grinding her hips against his. Their wet, tussled hair and slippery bodies wrestled to seduce each other into submission. The soft whimpers that escaped from her were not sounds of pain; they clearly expressed her eagerness and need.In bed, his energy was manic, and his staying power amazed him. He was insatiable, and so was she. They thrust and thrashed and flexed and tensed in perfect harmony, as if they were not only joined but fused, as if they were a single organism, shaken by only one set of stimuli instead of two. Every vestige of civilization slipped from them, and for a long while the only noises they made were animal sounds: panting; groaning; throaty grunts of pleasure; short, sharp cries of excitement. At last Jenna uttered the first word to pass between them since they had left the church:"Oh my God!"And again, arching her slender, graceful body, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow: "Yes, yes!" It was not merely an orgasm to which she was saying yes, for she'd already had a couple of those and had announced them with only ragged breathing and soft mewling. She was saying yes to life.The vicar repeated the word as if chanting a sacred incantation,"Yes, yes, yes!"as he emptied his cum into her a second time.Spent, they stretched out on their backs, side by side on the disheveled bed. For a long time they listened to the rain on the roof and to the persistent thunder, which was no longer loud enough to rattle the windows. Wind howled around the side of the house.Jenna lay with her eyes closed, her face completely relaxed."Lovely service this morning, Simon!" She said at last. "Great choice of hymns.""It certainly was. I think my sermon went down well. Shame about the weather.""Hmm, I don't know - I think the rainy weather makes me much hornier than normal!" It isn't even February, but my winter ‘cabin fever' has already set in. Get ready for more of this ravishing sex, my stud!"Happy Candlemas, Jenna," Reverend Morris replied.Jenna & the Church Trip: Part 1“Thine be the glory hole!”More light-hearted goings-on with vicar's wife Jenna. New year, new naughtiness, and a dull coach trip organized by the church might turn out to be more fun than expected! God works in mysterious ways. For Jenna's husband, it was relief from a nymph wife who had few other ways to occupy herself, besides sexual romps, at all hours of the day and night."I'm so pleased that Alpha and Omega coach holidays have re-started their short breaks," Reverend Simon Morris excitedly exclaimed. "I've just booked us on the three-day trip to Epworth!"His wife Jenna looked up from her phone. "Epworth? Where's that?""It's in Lincolnshire. Now I know what you're thinking, it's January, the excitement of Christmas and the New Year is over and it's such a dull time of year. The weather is awful and what I really should be doing is booking us a fortnight in the Maldives or Barbados to escape the British winter blues. But instead I've booked us a coach trip to Lincolnshire,"Jenna tried to look interested. "Well, I've never been to Lincolnshire. Always nice to see somewhere new.""The reason I booked this trip is that Epworth is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley. I thought you'd like to see it. After all, you are a big fan of them, yes?" He winked at her. "Oakwood Road Methodist Church are forever grateful to you for what you did last year."Jenna grinned. "I'd love to see their birthplace. So, when is this trip?""Next Monday. I think it'll be a fun little getaway. Gordon's coming along too. Oh and so is Barry, his cousin."That made Jenna perk up. Ooh, she thought to herself. I wonder if he's as hot? "He's recovered from his broken ankle then?""As far as I know, he's made a full recovery. His daughter Lisa came over from Florida to stay with him, so Gordon was relieved at that.""Thank goodness for that," Jenna replied. She'd really missed seeing her favorite organist. Oakwood's organist Raymond Wilson had done a superb job standing in for Gordon, thanks to some "gentle persuasion" from Jenna on Christmas Eve. "What sort of hotel are we staying at?"Reverend Morris looked at the Alpha and Omega brochure. "Hmm. We're staying at a hotel just outside Epworth that was originally a 17th century coaching inn. It's called The Parson's Knob, "Jenna almost spat out the coffee she was drinking. "Seriously?""I'm sure there is an innocent explanation for that name! Then again, maybe not! According to the travel agent, all twenty rooms of the hotel had been booked up for a group of Albanian asylum seekers. However for some bizarre reason, after a few days, the Albanians all begged to be transferred to a Travelodge a few miles away.""That is weird," Jenna replied. "I'd much rather stay in a lovely old historical inn than some crappy Travelodge. Oh well. Maybe they wanted somewhere a bit more modern?""Perhaps?"The day of the trip arrived. The British weather was true to form, and it had been raining hard since dawn. "When's the coach due again?" Jenna asked as she and Reverend Morris shivered at the bus stop opposite the railway station."Should be here now," her husband replied. "Oh look, there's Gordon and Barry!""Hmm, maybe this trip won't be so dull after all!" She smirked. Barry was basically a clone of Gordon. "Looks more like his identical twin brother than his cousin!" The only difference being that Barry was wearing glasses. The resemblance was uncanny."I don't know why I let you talk me into coming with you on this trip," Barry moaned as he and Gordon approached the bus stop. "You know I'm not a member of the God Squad, ""You haven't met the vicar's wife yet," Gordon whispered."Oh, this the lass you've got the hots for?" His skeptical cousin rolled his eyes."I think you'll find quite a lot of the fellas at St. Michael's Church have the hots for her," Gordon replied. "Oh God, there she is!"Barry adjusted his glasses. "Bloody hell. You weren't kidding when you said she was a bit of a fox, were you? Dream on! She's way too young for you, Gordy! I'd say she's way too young for the vicar too, but she must have a thing for older men if she's ended up marrying him,"Gordon chuckled. "If only you knew half of the things that go on at St. Michael's, dear cousin. If you did, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag you away from the Sunday Eucharist!""Hello!" Jenna said. "Oh Gordon, is this your cousin?""Hiya, and yes, this is Barry. He's not been won over by St. Michael's yet,""I see. Nice to meet you! Maybe you'll think differently about our church after you've been on this trip?""Perhaps," Barry interrupted, ogling Jenna, until Gordon gave him a nudge.Ten minutes later, a white minibus pulled up at the bus stop."Oh, I was expecting a coach," said Jenna. Further along the street, came Josh the curate and Norman the churchwarden."Not as many people booked as was expected," Reverend Morris replied. "I blame the weather. Afraid there's only six of us!"The group boarded the bus. Barry turned to Gordon. "She's not the typical vicar's wife is she?""Oh not at all," Gordon smiled.Barely half an hour into the journey and as always tended to happen on road trips, someone needed the toilet.Reverend Morris rolled his eyes. "Oh for goodness sake, we've only just set off. We're not due to stop for another hour, when we have our lunch at Cusworth Hall in Doncaster!"This does tend to happen when you have elderly passengers," the bus driver remarked. "I know. I've been doing this job for thirty years. The stories I could tell you!""We haven't got any elderly passengers," the vicar replied. "It's our organist who needs to go. As usual!""Oi, it's not my fault my bloody prostate makes me pee more!" Gordon yelled from the back of the bus. "You're not being very Christian today, Vicar! How about some compassion for your fellow man?""Yes, yes, alright. I'm sorry Gordon. Alright, we'll find somewhere to pull in for a quick comfort break. Is that okay with you, Ahmed?""No worries," the bus driver replied, checking the sat nav. "There's a coach stop a couple of miles away. I'll just come off at the next junction and it's right there. I've stopped at it a few times. It's a bit down at heel, but,""That'll do. As long as there are toilets.""Oh yeah. They're unisex though, and a bit, grimy. Is that a problem?""Not at all," Reverend Morris smirked. "Any port in a storm, as the old saying goes!"The minibus exited the motorway. A short time later, it pulled onto the car park of Jed's Butty Hut, a sandwich restaurant in a 1960s prefab that had seen better days."Right," Reverend Morris said, checking his watch. "We'll have a fifteen minute stop here. Can everyone be back on the bus by ten o'clock please?"The toilets were at the back of the main building. Gordon hurried in first. There were five cubicles, each with its own nauseating odor. He entered the first one. The toilet was missing a seat and the bowl was overflowing with vomit."Ugh. No thanks." He hurried out and entered the next one. A dead crow was sticking out of the toilet, beak wide open and wings spread, reminiscent of a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds."Fuck," he muttered, rushing out and into the third one. This toilet seemed clean enough, only a few cigarette ends and crack pipes floating in it.A few minutes later, Jenna decided to relieve herself, even though she could've held on until Doncaster. It was always the same on a trip. You got the urge to go even though you didn't actually need to go.The pretty redhead went into the end cubicle, which was the cleanest of the lot. Graffiti was daubed all over the walls, the usual expletives, plus crude drawings of cocks done in black marker pen. An urban art gallery for the times, she remarked to herself as she did her thing. It was then that she noticed a neat, circular hole on the lower right side of the partition wall."Ooh, a glory hole," she said to herself. "I wonder if it's well-used?""Why don't we try it out?" A muffled voice in the next cubicle muttered. Seconds later, a cock poked through it!"Gordon, is that you?" Jenna whispered. The shaft was thick just like his."No," the mystery man replied. She didn't recognize his voice, so he had to be someone from the restaurant. Jenna gasped. A burst of excitement ran through her, at the thought of touching this stranger's cock. At the same time, the danger associated with doing this seemed to add to the thrill.With her right hand, she reached down, slowly tracing up and down the length of the engorged cock with her palm. The man let out a groan. The size and hardness of his member increased Jenna's excitement. Her cunt was getting increasingly wet in anticipation, and she quickly knelt down in front of the generous offering.She rolled her tongue around its circumference and sucked on it as she would a piece of fruit, trying to get every drop of pre-cum. Not content with just a portion, she began to slowly venture down the shaft. With every thrust forward, she took more of it down her throat."Oh!" The mystery man exclaimed. He moaned in pleasure and bestowed every compliment he could think of on her.Jenna withdrew in order to say something. "What a gentleman you are!""Well you're damned good," came his reply.With every bobbing of her head, Jenna made progress toward the base. Above the slurping sounds she made as she wetted the shaft with her saliva, she could hear the stranger gently moaning with approval at her technique. She began to vary her speed; one moment erupting with a robust attack, then at an instant slowing her pace to relish the feast.Feeling the end would arrive soon, Jenna quickened her speed. She too, felt the rising heat from her crotch swelling to an orgasmic crescendo. Then, at the apex of pleasure, there erupted from deep within her cunt a spasm, which rapidly spread a pleasing warmth all over her body.The man's body stiffened as he released his full load into Jenna's mouth with a mighty groan. When every drop had been expelled, he slowly withdrew his rod fr

christmas god love jesus christ new year world church bible passion british story shame jerusalem fantasy temple wind afraid christmas eve series birds hearing romance baptism lust intimacy sexuality alpha fuck morris omega norman virgin moments bloody affair lovely spent oral first lady cheer makes anal suits hitchcock bradford unable barely barbados graffiti erotic georgian experimentation fantasies oi eastern europeans jed black sheep exiting maldives oh god mmm sensuality thine john wesley cambria albanian vicar calibri parson doncaster lincolnshire gordy knob hiya ah ha coupling intercourse descriptive aww charles wesley serpentine saint michael candlemas tryst oakwood intending growling shivering fens god squad hurrying travelodge epworth lurid literotica arching cromwellian in room

1984 - Part 23 (of 23)

The Well Told Tale

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2024 23:59

In Room 101, Winston Smith was broken and he betrayed Julia. Now that he has been set free from the Ministry of Love, what will life be like for Winston Smith?This novel contains adult themes: younger listeners, please proceed with caution.You can support the channel via our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thewelltoldtaleBooks - (buying books from our Bookshop.org shop helps support this channel while also supporting local bookshops, at no cost to you):Books by our favourite authors - https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/the-well-told-taleBuy 1984: https://uk.bookshop.org/a/9522/9780008322069 https://uk.bookshop.org/a/9522/9781847498571Other Books by George Orwell:Animal Farm: https://uk.bookshop.org/a/9522/9781398816534Down and out in Paris and London: https://uk.bookshop.org/a/9522/9780008442651Politics and the English Language: https://uk.bookshop.org/a/9522/9781913724306I would like to thank my patrons: Maura Lee, Jane, John Bowles, Cade Norman, Matt Woodward, Cho Jinn and Douglas HarleySupport the Show.

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What lurks During the Night in Arizona with Author Daryl F. Mallett

California Haunts Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2024 62:35

According to Amazon: "The benign, candle-carrying ghost of Mayor Levi Manning is reported to roam the halls of Manning House, while a frightening presence is said to lurk in the projectionist room at the Fox Theatre. In Room 242 of the Hotel Congress, guests have described a woman in white sitting at the end of the bed, while other spirits have been spotted in the halls. From the Mission San Xavier del Bac, built in 1700, to the grounds of the University of Arizona, stories of paranormal encounters abound." Join Charlotte and Filmaker Mallett as they talk about these haunted locations and more.Book Haunted TucsonHelp support California Haunts Radio by becoming a member of The Booo Crew visit... patreon.com/CaliforniaHauntsRadio

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S9: Haunted Tucson

Mysterious Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2024 48:02

My special guest is author Daryl Mallet, who is here to discuss the paranormal haunts in the city of Tucson, Arizona. You can pick up his book to add to your collection from Amazon. Wandering spirits, vengeful ghosts, and unexplained sightings in Tucson, Arizona. The benign, candle-carrying ghost of Mayor Levi Manning is reported to roam the halls of Manning House, while a frightening presence is said to lurk in the projectionist room at the Fox Theatre. In Room 242 of the Hotel Congress, guests have described a woman in white sitting at the end of the bed, while other spirits have been spotted in the halls. From the Mission San Xavier del Bac, built in 1700, to the grounds of the University of Arizona, stories of paranormal encounters abound. Join author Daryl F. Mallett and discover the thrilling and bone-chilling history of the Old Pueblo.Follow Our Other ShowsFollow UFO WitnessesFollow Crime Watch WeeklyFollow Paranormal FearsFollow Seven: Disturbing Chronicle StoriesJoin our Patreon for ad-free listening and more bonus content.Follow us on Instagram @mysteriousradioFollow us on TikTok mysteriousradioTikTok Follow us on Twitter @mysteriousradio Follow us on Pinterest pinterest.com/mysteriousradio Like us on Facebook Facebook.com/mysteriousradio

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Copa America makes it's draw, and Argentina will meet Canada… maybe!

KJ & Caldwell Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2023 31:07

In Room 442 this Friday, the crew talk Copa America and the very real possibility that Canada might kick things off vs Argentina (4:30) . We rank the upcoming Premier League matches with some biggies and perhaps a pre-season surprise at #1 (18:00), and of course talk all things 442picks.ca (28:38) Play 4-4-2 Picks for the chance to win $250,000 + weekly & monthly prizes. Enter NOW https://www.442picks.ca Follow James on socials: X -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/JamesSharman⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sharms1974⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Sara on socials: X - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Albert on socials: X -https://twitter.com/albertvartanian Insta - https://www.instagram.com/_therealbertv/ Follow Room 442 on socials X - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/theroom442⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/room442official⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more content visit www.homestandsports.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/room-4-4-2/message

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Big Ange winning new fans, Rashford losing old fans?

KJ & Caldwell Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2023 32:25

In Room 442 this Tuesday, Sara, Albert and James break down another stupendous week in the Premier League, and look ahead to a full slate of midweek action. - Postecoglou impresses Pep (5:41) - Euro 2024 draw shenanigans (11:41) - Rashford's struggles continue (20:40) Remember to play https://www.442picks.ca FOR FREE and win weekly and monthly prizes! Follow James on socials: X -⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/JamesSharman⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sharms1974⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Sara on socials: X - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Albert on socials: X -https://twitter.com/albertvartanian Insta - https://www.instagram.com/_therealbertv/ Follow Room 442 on socials X - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/theroom442⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/room442official⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more content visit www.homestandsports.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/room-4-4-2/message

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Arsenal top of the table, 15-year-old Camarda debuts for Milan & Villa stump Spurs!

KJ & Caldwell Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2023 40:11

In Room 442 this Friday, Sara and James discuss their love and hates of football over the weekend, and this weekend there was a lot more to love! Loves of the weekend (1:00) Garnacho hits the bicycle (6:40) Newcastle smashes Chelsea (10:30) Camarda debuts for Milan (19:30) Hates of the weekend (21:15) Trent shushes the crowd (26:40) Poor Ramsdale (30:00) And of course, break down this weeks 442picks.ca (37:43) Which is still free to play, with lots of great prizes available Follow James on socials: X -⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/JamesSharman⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sharms1974⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Sara on socials: X - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Albert on socials: X -https://twitter.com/albertvartanian Insta - https://www.instagram.com/_therealbertv/ Follow Room 442 on socials X - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/theroom442⁠⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/room442official⁠⁠⁠⁠ For more content visit www.homestandsports.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/room-4-4-2/message

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Canada, injury crisis, Premier League and preferred digits

KJ & Caldwell Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2023 45:11

In Room 442 this Friday, Sara, James and Albert break down: Canada's search for a new coach Can Tottenham handle all their injuries (10:07) They rank the weekend Premier League matches (23:50) Talk all things finger and toe amputations And of course, break down this weeks 442picks.ca (43:02) Which is still free to play, with lots of great prizes available Follow James on socials: X -⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/JamesSharman⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sharms1974⁠⁠⁠ Follow Sara on socials: X - ⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/saraporaria⁠⁠⁠ Follow Albert on socials: X -https://twitter.com/albertvartanian Insta - https://www.instagram.com/_therealbertv/ Follow Room 442 on socials X - ⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/theroom442⁠⁠⁠ Insta - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/room442official⁠⁠⁠ For more content visit www.homestandsports.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/room-4-4-2/message

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Episode 165: “Dark Star” by the Grateful Dead

A History Of Rock Music in Five Hundred Songs

Room 5

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2022 29:51

‘He was interested in why I was so attached to this penguin' Bex is at university when she starts feeling anxious and overwhelmed. As Bex deteriorates, doctors are in a race against time to diagnose her. And that's where the penguin comes in. In Room 5, Helena Merriman interviews people who - like her - were changed by a diagnosis. Written, presented and produced by Helena Merriman Composer: Jeremy Warmsley Sound Design: Eloise Whitmore Production Co-ordinator: Janet Staples Editor: Emma Rippon Commissioning Editor: Richard Knight #Room5 With special thanks to Rachel Roberts, principal viola with the LSO End song: Miffed by Tom Rosenthal If you have a story you'd like to share you can email: room5@bbc.co.uk

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Room 5 - Episode 1

Seriously…

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2022 30:11

‘He was interested in why I was so attached to this penguin' Bex is at university when she starts feeling anxious and overwhelmed. As Bex deteriorates, doctors are in a race against time to diagnose her. And that's where the penguin comes in. In Room 5, Helena Merriman interviews people who - like her - were changed by a diagnosis. Written, presented and produced by Helena Merriman Composer: Jeremy Warmsley Sound Design: Eloise Whitmore Production Co-ordinator: Janet Staples Editor: Emma Rippon Commissioning Editor: Richard Knight #Room5 With special thanks to Rachel Roberts, principal viola with the LSO End song: Miffed by Tom Rosenthal If you have a story you'd like to share you can email: room5@bbc.co.uk

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Room 3 - How to Get Lost in a Game's Atmosphere

The Backrooms Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2021 91:27

Video Games have the unique ability to provide an experience that other forms of media cannot. In Room 3, the boys discuss the different and unique avenues that game developers take to share their story and help a player not only follow that story, but truly experience it. Every game and every developer has a story to tell, and how that story is portrayed can either build on, or detract from the experience. But with so many different types of games, between open world adventure games, to linear First-person Shooters, what is the best way to tell that story to the player? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

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Room 237 =^_^=

Anerzählt

Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2021 12:57

"The shining" ist ein Roman von Steven King und der vielleicht erfolgreichste Film in der Folmografie von Jack Nicholson. Dabei hat die Verfilmung von Stanley Kubrick manches anders gemacht als der berühmte Thrillerautor gerne gehabt hätte. In Room 237 spielten sich jedenfalls in Buch wie Film manche gruselige Szenen ab...

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Confessions Part I

The Misadventures of Rugged Fox

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2020

In Room 2, Rugged's feet dangle over the hospital bed as he waits to see a Doctor who may or may not become his first husband. Spoiler alert: He does not.

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Room 104 (S04E03)

Today's Episode

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2020 20:46

In Room 104, Dave Bautista guest stars as Raw Dog Avalanche, a weathered ex-WWE fighter who comes to grips with a past trauma. We review the story, give our thoughts on the show, and talk about some other known Duplass projects.

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Scalable Localization and the Psychology of Usability and Design

Room 42

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2020 50:48

Kirk St.Amant is a Professor and the Eunice C. Williamson Endowed Chair of Technical Communication at Louisiana Tech University, and he is also the Director of Louisiana Tech’s newly formed Center for Health and Medical Communication. His research focuses on the psychology of usability and applying cognitive models to understand audience expectations and user preferences in different settings. In Room 42, he’ll be discussing prior work he has done in examining psychology, usability, and design and talk about a new approach he’s been working with, called “scalable usability,” in which he combines ideas from intercultural communication with concepts from cognitive psychology to identify usability expectations in different contexts.

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Why Audience Contexts Matter to Content Creators

Room 42

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2020 47:29

Lisa Melonçon is a Professor of Technical and Professional Communication at the University of South Florida and incoming interim department chair in English. Her research focuses on programmatic issues in technical and professional communication as well as in user experience specific to health and medical settings. In Room 42, she'll be discussing a longitudinal research project (Patient Experience Design) on information design and patient education materials that has led to new insights into how technical communicators can understand foundational concepts of audience and contexts.

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Whats in Room 101? (+Q&A)

Fix CPTSD Podcast | Psychology and Philosophy in Narcissistic Times with Richard Grannon

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2020 82:06

Self-love affected by abuse, what is going on in the abusive parent's child's head and how that shapes the idea of love? (00:02) Getting Started (00:16) What's In Room 101? (04:33) If Your Parents Didn't Love You, Then You Have No Model For Self-love (08:33) How Childhood Abuse Works (12:35) What Does It Mean That God Is Dead? (17:13) Nietzsche's Quote Q&A (20:25) "What's in room 101 for you, Richard? part 1 (25:19) "What's in room 101 for you, Richard? part 2 (30:32) "You're still doing the same job, but it's emotional instead of physical, don't you agree? (36:24) "My sister and I were tight, but now she has completely turned like my narc mom. How do I deal with this? (38:39) "I'm still struggling with a definition of self-compassion and all that entails. Can you more clearly define what that means? (43:16) "I accept my bad choices in men come from upbringing. Where do I go now? (46:57) "How do I differentiate between intuition and emotional flashbacks? part 1 (52:30) "How do I differentiate between intuition and emotional flashbacks? part 2 (57:42) "How do I differentiate between intuition and emotional flashbacks? part 3 (1:00:17) "Do you have any advice for how to interview a counselor? part 1 (1:06:16) "Do you have any advice for how to interview a counselor? part 2 (1:11:32) "Is dreaming memories the same thing as an emotional flashback? (1:14:40) "I've stopped thinking about my ex 24/7, but he pops up in my dreams. Do you think this is a good thing like my subconscious is filtering the crap in my brain? (1:18:22) "I feel like I really love people. Honestly it would not be a big shocker if they just suddenly tried to hurt me or walked out of my life. Is that me really loving them? How can I love them if I have to expect them to betray me?

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Room to Let (Margery Allingham) (British Drama)

Golden Classics Great OTR Shows

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2020 53:50

In "Room to Let," Margery Allingham's only radio play, a new lodger who behaves strangely unsettles a widow and her daughter, and the outcome of the case baffles seasoned investigators.

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Frumpy Dumpster (Part 1 of 4) 'Old Bruiser'

Amplevoicepod

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2020 17:57

(Daytime TV channel hopping) “Before she’d get depressed…” “…exciting episode of…” “Leo! Leo the Lion, and Leo, he makes it safe here. Lion Productions provides quality cinematic products that inspire, innovate and entertain… It’s Leo the Lion…” (Advert) “Have you been burned alive and need compensation? Well phone us now on nought-nought-nought-two-six-four-eight-thousand, that’s right; nought-nought-nought-two-six-four-eight-thousand! Terms and conditions apply.” Hi yaaa! All men are wankers. You know that? Well as a wife, a mother, a worker, and a lover. I know. My name’s Lindor. And I am a frumpy dumpster. And I’m going to my school reunion if it’s the last thing I do. But this bottle of Pimms and this box of Solpadine… don’t want me to leave the house! I hadn’t spoken to anyone in ages. I’d become a bit of a recluse. So when I got an email from old flame Leo Hancock, from St. Saville’s vocational school, the years disappeared and I was right back in 1991. In Room 4 upstairs, at the blackboard. Fooling around with long-haired Mr Heavy Metal himself, Floyd Taylor. The natural light shone in as I pulled the duster away from him. I was laughing. He blew chalk dust from the shelf at me. I wasn’t messing you know, I wasn’t messing. It wasn’t the duster, I said. “Ahm… What?” Floyd replied, confused, tugging at his ruby-coloured jumper. It wasn’t the duster why I came here… you don’t believe me do you? You don’t believe me do you? I repeated. “Ok-aay” he answered. When I was trying to get the duster off you, I wasn’t sure of what was going to happen next. “Same here”, he said, “I felt like doing something, but was afraid of the reaction”. I looked at Floyd. Oh, so did I, I wanted to, but…. “Oh, don’t do this to me” he said. I know…, I answered. “You’re being cruel now. I could’ve… jus’ cruel…” he said. I looked him in the eyes and said: It’s not cruel. And stared. I think Floyd was aroused. “What about now”? he asked. Yep, I replied. Then we kissed. It was so electric. Even more so when I opened my eyes to see Leo watching us at the door. Me knickers were in floods. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this” Floyd said. I’ve wanted it too, I answered. There were so many boys in St. Saville’s back then. Floyd Taylor. Leo Hancock at Looseholes disco, Zuberi Jelani because his Dad ran a chip shop and he had a car an’, an’ many more since, that I don’t want to count. Never mind the other admirers, like Payter Mayhem and Sean Wrigley. But they were much older and they should’ve known better! I mean I was only 25 at the time when I was still working out at the ‘Charry Marry’ Fun park. I was crying because my husband Michael dropped me off at the entrance, taunting my weight as usual. “Fuckin’ fat cunt! If ya actually ran around lookin’ after the children ya might lose some kilos, ya lazy thick cunt!” The ‘Old Bruiser’ himself, up to his usual put downs and insults. I slammed the car door and got the keys from the reception to open up the park toilets. But janey mack! You wouldn’t believe this! The fun park owner Payter Mayhem was wanking over a huge photocopy of my Charry Marry application picture. A big A3 colour picture of me! Well, holy god now! I was so shocked, the buckles on my dungarees blew off! Now I thought I was a decent looking girl at 25 then, but to find my boss tossing off to a huge picture of me when I applied to the park aged 12, was well, a bit sick. I didn’t wait for the apology. No sir-ee! I ran out of the toilet with Payter falling over his cords halfway down! I ran up to my parent’s home across the road from the park and phoned my husband. But he was at his anger management. “Don’t fuckin’ interrupt me you stupid bitch, you know this drives me mental! (farts)” So I found solace in my old Jane Fonda videos in my bedroom. They helped reduce the love-handles after my babies: Rooster… Jarvis… and Leona... I switched Jane on, tried to work out but I nearly tore the neck off meself! “Come on girl, burn those calories!” After a good cry I switched off Jane, changed out of my denim dungarees and put on my favourite green floral dress with frilly cuffs… Strapped on the black heels and cycled into Ratchly, “Get out of the way ya fat bitch!” … to buy some comfort food off Sorcha at the Hungry Hippo. I chained the bike outside. In I went. Bottle of Bordeaux, Jaffa Cakes. Tub of Haagen-Dazs. £8.91, yeah I know exactly how much it costs Sorcha, thanks love, here’s a tenner, put the rest in the St. Saville’s Fundraiser box. Bye yaaa hun! But that reminded me. I hadn’t been in to see the old place since we graduated 7 years ago! Frumpy Dumpster is an Amplevoicepod feature-length Ear-film. A podcast with bite. The fateful story of Lindor Lamb, a middle-aged woman who has just about had enough of men. As a young woman, those were naive care-free days for Lindor, until that is when she encountered Payter Mayhem at Charry Marry Fun Park and school headmaster Sean Wrigley. Further anguish was caused by her husband, the 'Old Bruiser' himself. Frumpy Dumpster is a feature-length explicit and sometime farcical story from Amplevoicepod. We create original, scripted, character & plot-driven comedy dramas. We construct fully immersive HD audio adventures. More than just a podcast, we are the Voice of Pod.

UCLS I - (Part 5 of 5) - 'The Virgin Cometh'

Amplevoicepod

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2019 25:27

George: Cash was paid. The lurid Tash is to be laid. Or so he believes as the 'science building annex 3 room 2' is the deflowering destination. Come the morrow, UCLS provost Broadleaf O’Hara sits fretfully in Crawton Hall, awaiting the town council vote on Al-Fajar’s rezone-er-ing. (Crowd murmur in hall) Broadleaf: Healthy turn out Mr Tash don’t you think? Tash: …ehm what Broadleaf? Broadleaf: I know, I know, I’m so nervous too truth be told. Tash: Nervous? Broadleaf: The town council votes will be in and we will soon hear if Mehfooz Alfajar won the tender for the Parnell Park site. Tash: Oh yis that… yis, yis of course. Broadleaf: Are you with me Norman? Tash: I’m sorry? Mnnn? What? Broadleaf: What’s with you Norman? You seem miles away, I’m beginning to wonder where your allegiances are these days. Tash: You think I’m trying to stab you in the back? Broadleaf: What? No, no! I never said that. Tash: I’m not trying to stab you in the back, in fact I am right behind you. Broadleaf: Glad to hear it Norman. We’ve a lot to lose if Mehfooz gets his way and the boundary change is upheld. Keith: Quite the gathering Provost O’Hara. I hope we have good news to offer the hordes. Broadleaf: What did you say? Ace: A drink sirs? We have some green tea, water, or if you wish, some wine? Keith: Oh, it’s the prince of neck accessories. I’ll have a white wine. Tash: I hope you learn something from tonight Ace… Ace: I hope so sir. Water for you? Tash: Thank you. Where’s Floyd and Raymond? Ace: Eh, Floyd is taking in the coats and Raymond is sorting out the left handed jackets from the right handed ones. Tash: I see. Good. Keith: (Snigger) Bastard… Broadleaf: Ok, let’s begin. (Switch on microphone) Broadleaf: Testing, testing, 1,2,3… George: At that very samely time, at the very largely big entrance gates. Floyd: You ready Bubbles. Brian: I think so. I hope she comes. Dick: Jesus, well I hope so too, you paid enough for her… I bet she bucks ya straight off her! Floyd: You got your cassette player? Brian: Yep. Dick: Wassat for? Brian: Candy girl. Dick: Is that her name? Very strange name that is. Floyd: No, he wants to have sex with the earphones on and listen to some Brian: ♫ Candy Girl♫ You rock my world! ♫ Do-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do! Dick: Oh well, it’s his show… Floyd: Psst, Dick, ok, I got to get back to the Admin Hall, ring me and let me know when the Eagle has landed and I’ll let you know when the old Buzzard is on his way. Dick: 10-4, 8.30, Legs at 10 and 2, all boosters primed my friend. Floyd: And remember what we spoke about at lunchtime today? Later boys. Hey, nice new jacket by the way Dick… Dick: Cheers matey… Brian: Uhuh, bye… Dick: A few Lego men short of a town is this lad. Brian: Whatcha say? (Sneeze) George: Candy Girl? Doesn’t rock my world. Nevermind, back to the nervous hands of Broadleaf at the com-mit-tee meeting! Broadleaf: So what can we do as the formal minds of education to get more involved in the University Council’s decision making process? Heckler # 1 (Bali): What about the town council vote?? When do we hear? Broadleaf: Ahem… Yes, yes, quite soon. In the next while there should be representatives arriving. Heckler # 1 (Bali): What will you do if you must hand over the arts building to the new developers of Parnell Park?! Broadleaf: Yeah, yeah, well allow me to break off from this topic for a moment… Ace: Where were you? Floyd: Out with Dick and Bubbles at the gate. She should be here soon. Dick’s gonna open the room for ‘em. How’s Tash lookin’? Ace: Like he’s just about to calve it. Sitting up there like a prize tulip man you wanna- Floyd: Tallyho so brother! Broadleaf: …robberies, yes robberies, it’s a sad state of affairs when your University is home to thieves and wickedness. Yesterday €5000 Euro was stolen from my office when someone found their little way into the office and interfered with the petty cash box. Ace: Wait a second… Broadleaf: It breaks my heart to think that people will stoop so low… Ace: You didn’t… Floyd: Mmm? Keith: Another wine Ace please…. Ace: …eh, here sir… You! Floyd: Sssh, listen to the man… Ace: Yeah, you, ya fuc- George: Well! Broadleaf O’Hara starts the fight against literally losing his plot. While Ace’s suspicions become aroused. But wait! Mr. Dick is hard and stiff at the front gates. Dick: Stand to attention young chubbler, Brian: It’s Bubbles. Dick: Time to brace the main sail, coz there be a bitch ahoy! Brian: Hi Brenda. Brenda: Hey Bubbles. Solicitor: Ah Brian, good to see you. And you must be? Dick: Eh, the ‘overseer’… N-not like I’ll be lookin’ or anythin’, unf, I’m the man with the keys and makin’ sure all is eh, like, eh, heh it runs smoothly for the safety of the two young… eh… (whistles). Solicitor: Very well. I wish you all good night. Brenda, it was an experience working for you. Best of luck then. Dick: Ok then young Cupids, follow me to the science building where you shall start your experiments… Follow me! Together: Follow, follow, follow, follow- Dick: Follow the yellow toof road! Follow, follow, follow, foll- Baldy: ‘Ere Dick, you talkin’ about me are ya? Dick: What? Eh? Must have been the wind… George: And good luck to them! With arms outstretched, Broadleaf waits to welcome the Loughfeg Town Councillors. Broadleaf: Well yes, should we get the decision on our side, then we will move forward with our plan for further development of University grounds and essential departmental procurement. Heckler # 2 (Hefese): And will Long Term Loan Credit bank give you funding if such an outcome is not forthcoming Mr O’Hara? Nigel: Busher! Busher! Busher! You tell ‘em Busher! Broadleaf: No! No! No! Listen! Listen! Nigel: You go up there and tell them how it’s fuckin’… Yeah! Shlioler: I’m livin’ in a small house with six-and-a-half children! And I can’t move, I can’t swing a cat in it, and we’ve been on to the council for ages for a bigger house. We can’t get out of it! What are you going to do about it?! Broadleaf: Listen! Shlioler: What are you gonna do about it?! My Larry went off and left me. He left me. Heckler #1 (Bali): Parnell Park! Keith: Look at him, like a second hand Jesus on the cross ready for the end… Tash: What? Keith: Worried that your watch might stop if you stop looking at it Norman? Tash: Sorry Mr Keith, you must excuse me… Keith: Of course… but looks like you’ll miss the action, here come the town council cavalry. Floyd: (On phone) Hey, Dick, Dick? Tash is on his way. Ace: You are a fucking thief! Floyd: What? I didn’t take the money… don’t be stupid, I was in class with you remember? (Floyd’s mobile rings) Floyd: Aw shit… Yeah? Dick: The Eagle has landed, echo-fella-one, Roger Daltry, Wilco… Floyd: Yeah, let ‘em settle in Dick, Tash is on his way to spruce up the sprouts. ETA: 10 minutes. Dick: Eh over and around again… (phone clicks off) Broadleaf: Councillors, councillors, please, here, yes, please sit down… Keith: Waiting for Godot… god save me… What’s this? Little man moves to the front… Mehfooz: Please, please, Ladies and Gentlemen, Councillors and Provost O’Hara, may I take the podium? Broadleaf: Well, em… Mehfooz: Thank you sir. George: Meantimewhile, at the science block; Brian: (Coughs) Dick: Right! Here yis go… I’ll keep the hall lights on okay? Brian: (Wheeze, inhale), Thanks Dick. Dick: Pleasure’s mine, enjoooooy! (Closes door) Brian: (Breathes heavily) Brenda: I’m here Bubbles… Brian: I-I-I… Brenda: Shhh, come here… Brian: Okay… Brenda: You want to take all my clothes off? Brian: (Gulp)… Tes… Brenda: I’m yours… Brian: (Tokes on inhaler) George: Yuck! Pyeah! I need to wash out my ears back at Finny’s bar; (Finny’s Bar, incessant gaming noises) Finny: Are you speaking to me yet? Pavla: No. Finny: That’s better, here Baldy, will you shut up that shite! Baldy: I’m winnin’! I’m winnin’! Highest score comin’ up, can’t me stop now. Historical milestone. Finny: I’m standing here seriously toying with the idea of killing you. Baldy: Well I’m killin’ thousands here! It’s a massacre! I can’t believe I’m winnin’! George: No time to lose, what’s the news with Mehfooz?! Mehfooz: Thank you ladies and gentlemen and members of the town council. We sit here today on the edge of a new era of change in Loughfeg State. The old is cast aside replaced by the new…. When two new spheres of influence come together it promotes teamwork and intense bonding! (Science building) Brenda: That’s it Bubbles… take them down… Bubbles: Awww, hih, ushff, fffssh, hoh hoh hoh! Aww, ffhshs, aw, I’ve got a stalker… Brenda: My god! Bubbles: Awwwwffssshih. George: Dear God! Where then, is Norman Tash? (Office toilet) Tash: Why do I sweat so much? This is appalling. Pull my socks up. Good. Armani looks good. Right… Breathe in Norman! To the Science block. Claim virgin territory! (Door slams) Mehfooz: Let me be the first one to announce the news from the town council that my consortium for the tender of the development of Parnell Park and Loughfeg boundary change has been SUCCESSFUL!!! Nigel: Busher! Broadleaf: No!!!!! (Uproar) Keith: Oh crap. Mehfooz: Thank you, thank you, yes, very much, ah thank you. Thank you, not at all, not at all, thank you. Heckler # 3: It’s a sham! Floyd: Sounds heavy. Ace: I hope it doesn’t disturb young Ying and Yang across the block. Floyd: He won’t hear a thing. Ace: Why? Aaawh yeah…. (Science building) Brenda: You look masterful mighty standing there! Brian: I am the WWF Inseminator! Brenda: Eh, Bubbles, what are you doing? Brian: It’s my cassette player. Brenda: …and? Brian: It’s my fantasy, I want to go inside you with Candy girl. (echo of Dick’s sick laughing and coughing) Brenda: Eh, ok… if it’s your fantasy… Brian: Yes! It is! CANDY GIRL! Brenda: Oh my god! Brian: Errrffffmmmargh! C-aaaiiindy guuurrllluu-uh-uhh… (Back in Committee) Floyd: I mean if it was my thing I’d want to hear her scream, yeah, but hey, earphones or not, it’s not my money! Ace: Because you STOLE it! Floyd: You are over-reacting. Broadleaf: This is crazy, you can’t make this decision. Mehfooz: Leave it be Broadleaf. Broadleaf: You want to ruin this town, isn’t that right Mr Keith? Keith: What? Me? Ehm? Heckler #4: What about the fucking football team hah? What about the team? What about my young lad, what about young Tighe hah? He needs to play ball. Heckler # 5: What now for the funding Mr Keith?? What will happen to the football team funding? Keith: How should I know? That’s Mr. Tash’s area of expertise, I-I… Heckler # 6: Answer the question Chiselton come on! Heckler # 7: Yeah, anser the question! You’re the outings co-ordinator which covers the away day expenses!!! Mehfooz: Calm down Broadleaf, it is done. It is done sir. That is it. Broadleaf: Done you say? DONE? I’ll do YOU! Right, funding cut backs start here! Keith: Listen, it’s not a question of rash answers, we need to focus. Heckler # 3: You can focus on my fat lad! My son depends on that team Mr Keith… Keith: Of course… I understand, but… Broadleaf: Cut backs so! Cut the WATER! Cut the GAS! Cut the SALARIES mmmggfff, CUT THE ELECTRICITYYY!!!! (Pull of the main switch in the hall…) Floyd: Darkness has descended. Hecklers: Hey! Hey! Ya bollocks! Come back here! Hey! Keith: Mmm, get out of here… Ace: Let’s do the same… Floyd: I’m right with you Captain… (Science block) Tash: Typical! Blackout! I can’t see where I am… ok… annex two is that way so annex three is this way…. (On the way to science block) Keith: Get in the car, drive away, go home, have some Chablis and start applying to colleges in the morning… yes… Ace: Floyd… he’s heading to the annex… Floyd: Follow that nutty Professor. (In Room 2) Brenda: Oh Bubbles! This feels so wonderful! And you can’t hear me! (Giggles) Brian: ♫ ooh yeah ♫ Candy! ♫ Girl! Uhhh. Brenda: (Giggles) (Back in committee) Mehfooz: Don’t panic! Do not panic! We will have order restored as soon as I find the switch. (In the hallway) Tash: Hellooooo? Come out young lady Brendaaaaa? Pssst it’s me! Mr. Tash, Meeester Taaash… (Hears giggling) Tash: Ah-ha! Yis yis, I will take her by surprise, and naked too. Take her! Rrraaarrr! Off with everything Mr Tash! Yis yis! Oh yes, hoo hoo! She will be not ready for me! Keith: …eh? What is that? Norman? Is that you? Ace: Oh shit… he’s goin’ straight for the… (Door lashes open) Tash: SURPRISE! I have you now…. (sound of bodies jumping on top) Brenda: AAAAGGGHH! Brian: OOOFFFF! Tash: YIS! You fleshy fuckbucket, mmm, your soft downy skin! Brenda: HELP! Tash: Don’t fight it Brenda! Brian: Get off me! Tash: Don’t fight it! Brian: Get off! Keith: NORMAN? Tash: KEITH! Brenda: DADDY? Keith: SINEAD? Mehfooz: Power back on! (sound of electricity mains) Brenda/Sinead: Daddy! Tash: Jesus- Ace: Christ. Brian: Get off me ya sick pervert! Sinead / Brenda: Daddy! I, Oh my god! Keith: YOU BAAAASTARDS!!!! Floyd: Woah! It’s Keith’s daughter?! Dick: (Jumps out of a cupboard) Hargh! It’s pure fuckin’ gold, gold I tells ya! Fuckin’ faces on the lot of yis!! And I have it all recorded on me new camcorder!!! Big triple decker sandwich with teachers ridin’ pupils n’ daughters,I tell ya, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! (Note: 8 minutes of outtakes follow credits) U.C.L.S. I - An ear-film adventure by Amplevoicepod. The story of Floyd Frisbane, Accursis 'Ace' Byrne and Brian 'Bubbles' Waterbury, after meeting each other on the first day at University College Loughfeg State. It's a time for moral advancement as they bond when trying to procure a virgin for Brian over the internet. They must be careful not to rouse the attention of teacher Norman Tash who himself is intent on straightening this trio out. Science professor Keith, meanwhile, is annually dismayed at the sheer stupidity of the year's intake and is contemptuous of Provost Broadleaf O'Hara as he struggles to keep Loughfeg State University afloat. Janitor Dick Soupe is barely holding the buildings and himself together as he tries to help the new enrollees integrate. On Loughfeg's main street, Finny and Pavla trade insults as they helm Finny's bar while attempting to avoid catching the red eyes of resident comic-lover barfly Baldy Kendall and U.C.L.S computer teacher Ciaran Brennan. Amplevoicepod creates original explicit storytelling. We make HD audio podcasts to sternly tongue your earhole. We try not to follow others, don't cross the easy fields and have lived in blissful ignorance across millennia. We make ear-film adventures. Full effects-laden audio productions with plots, characters and immersive sounds. It takes about 80 hours of production in writing, recording and editing to make 1 hour of output. We take lumps out of each other as we sculpt our latest mutation. To relax we switch on the mics, open our lungs and bellow out a 2-hour rock show playing the best music dug up on a Friday. Tautologically titled 'The Friday Rock Show' it's just us and a few listener letters, which we lovingly read out on air. It's DJ Adgeen Byrne and producer Tony Wilson spitting and sparring to send you into sonic convulsions. Started in 1987, this saga has continued down through the ages with over 500 stories read out on air, from a wide variety of intriguingly demented souls. Our feature-length stories now streaming: Timefiddler, Mount Pheasant I, Mount Pheasant II, The Adrian & Tony Radio Show I & II, University College Loughfeg State (UCLS I) and coming soon: UCLS II & III, Mental Holmes I, II & III, United Mutations I, II & III and Panspermia I, II & III. 100s of hours of explicit storytelling await you. Streaming our oddcast now on all good audiophilic emporia.

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