Podcast appearances and mentions of jen let

Have a question for the show? Text us here!Finding sustainable joy in teaching begins by rejecting toxic positivity and embracing emotional literacy. Teaching with emotional honesty fosters deeper connections and authentic classroom experiences without sacrificing professionalism.Toxic positivity denies real emotional experiences and keeps educators stuck in stress cycles.Emotional literacy is about recognizing, feeling, and honoring emotions in real time without judgment.Processing emotions is a powerful way to relieve stress and lighten the load on your nervous system.Many educators wear an "emotional uniform" — forced smiles and controlled voices — that hinder real connection.Taking off this emotional uniform doesn't mean oversharing; it's about being honest with yourself first.True happiness is a practice, not a mask; it's a muscle that strengthens over time.Classroom breakthroughs happen when teachers show their authentic selves, allowing students to connect with their humanity.Joy comes from embracing all emotions, not from pushing away the difficult ones.Ready to move from surviving to THRIVING? Say YES to YOU in our signature program, THRIVE. See you there!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: empowerededucator.com/resources Instagram: @jenrafferty_ Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room

Have a question for the show? Text us here!Is Your Perfectionism Really Just a Stress Response? In this episode of The Empowered Educator Podcast, we uncover the hidden connection between perfectionism and your brain's stress response system — especially for educators. Learn why perfectionism isn't a personal flaw, but a learned survival strategy rooted in fear, fawn mode, and a nervous system trying to keep you safe.You'll discover:How perfectionism acts as protective armor against failure, rejection, and shameThe neuroscience of stress: how your amygdala triggers fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responsesWhy perfectionism often shows up in “fawn mode” — over-accommodating, over-achieving, and over-functioningHow school systems unintentionally reinforce perfectionism through rewards and rankingsWhy students need regulated, not perfect, teachers — and how authenticity creates deeper classroom impactTools and practices to rewire your brain for calm, confidence, and compassionHow self-compassion builds new neural pathways and helps you reclaim your joy

Have a question for the show? Text us here!Procrastination isn't about laziness or poor time management — it's about your brain trying to protect you. In this episode, we explore why so many educators struggle with procrastination and how to shift the narrative from self-blame to self-compassion.You'll learn how procrastination is rooted in emotional regulation, not motivation — and how to rewire your brain for focus, calm, and clarity.

Have a question for the show? Text us here!In this episode of Unlock Your Teaching Potential, we dive into a powerful and often overlooked topic in education: how to extend compassion to adult colleagues while maintaining healthy boundaries and protecting your own emotional energy.Educators are natural nurturers, but many of us find ourselves overextending—especially when dealing with emotionally dysregulated adults. This episode unpacks how you can stay grounded, uphold your values, and practice true compassion without slipping into self-abandonment.What You'll Learn:How adult dysregulation impacts school culture, student outcomes, and educator moraleWhy we offer more grace to students than to fellow adults—and how to shift that perspectiveThe connection between emotional regulation, unprocessed trauma, and adult behavior in schoolsWhy grace without boundaries isn't compassion—it's self-sacrificeHow to set boundaries over expectations and release the need to control othersTips for practicing neutral observation and reducing emotional reactivityThe balance between compassion and accountability—how to hold space without enablingTools to protect your energy and focus on what's within your controlWhy educator self-care is one of the most generous things you can do for your studentsIf you're an educator looking to create a healthier, more emotionally sustainable professional life, this episode will leave you feeling seen, empowered, and reconnected to your purpose.✨ Remember: You are a gift to this world. Treat yourself accordingly. ✨Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: empowerededucator.com/resources Instagram: @jenrafferty_ Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room Empowered Educator Card Deck

Have a question for the show? Text us here!Teaching while carrying a heavy mental load is exhausting, but there are simple, powerful ways to restore your energy and reconnect with yourself. If you're an educator feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or emotionally drained, this podcast is your space to breathe, reflect, and reignite your passion for teaching.Many teachers struggle with stress, anxiety, and work-life balance, especially those juggling lesson planning, parent meetings, student accommodations, and caregiving responsibilities at home. But self-care isn't selfish—it's the key to being the best educator you can be.In each episode, you'll discover: ✔️ Mindfulness practices to ease stress in seconds ✔️ Strategies to quiet your inner critic and embrace self-compassion ✔️ The power of affirmations to shift your mindset ✔️ Small but impactful daily habits for emotional resilience ✔️ Why prioritizing your well-being makes you a stronger teacher and role modelThe most generous thing you can do for your students is take care of yourself. Let this podcast be your weekly reminder to recharge, refocus, and step into your power as an educator and human first.Subscribe now so you never miss an episode, and if this show resonates with you, please leave a review—it helps more teachers find the support they deserve!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: empowerededucator.com/resources Instagram: @jenrafferty_ Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room Empowered Educator Card Deck

Have a question for the show? Text us here!Have you ever felt that tightness in your chest before a tough conversation? Maybe your thoughts are running a mile a minute, your stomach's in a twist, and avoiding it feels way safer than facing it.Fear has a way of taking over, convincing us that discomfort means danger. But here's the truth. Fear isn't the enemy. It's a signal. And when you learn how to respond to it instead of running from it, everything changes.In this episode, we're diving into overcoming fear and how you can use self-regulation techniques to stay calm and confident, even in high-pressure situations. I'll walk you through ways to manage anxiety using nervous system regulation techniques that help shift your body from a state of stress to a state of safety. When you understand how to work with your fear instead of fighting against it, you build emotional resilience, allowing you to handle difficult conversations with clarity and confidence.I'll also share stress relief methods and practical ways of handling stress that you can use anytime, anywhere, whether you're preparing for a challenging meeting or just trying to navigate the daily demands of teaching. Because the truth is, fear doesn't mean stop. It means pay attention. And once you learn how to regulate your emotions, you can step into any situation feeling strong, capable, and in control.Stay empowered,JenLet's keep the conversation going! Find me at:empowerededucator.com/resourcesInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomEmpowered Educator Card DeckStay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: empowerededucator.com/resources Instagram: @jenrafferty_ Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room Empowered Educator Card Deck

Hello Fabulous!Welcome back to this episode of "Fabulous Over Fifty." This week, we're diving into the dynamic world of ageism and how it's influencing the perception of generations. I'm joined by bestselling author Ann Leary, our conversation kicks off with a fascinating observation on the cultural divide between millennials and baby boomers. But it doesn't stop there. We'll talk about exciting news about the Gold Mic Awards, a groundbreaking celebration that highlights the incredible achievements of Gen X and boomers in podcasting and beyond. With a mission to bridge generation gaps, let's challenge each other and our age-related stereotypes and embrace our unique journeys. Tune in to hear How changing one's mindset can lead to remarkable accomplishments at any age. Get ready to throw some glitter at the challenges of aging and celebrate life to the fullest. Thank you for joining me today!I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you! Want more?You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50!I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE.Have a blessed week,Jen Let's Connect!!JenHardy.netFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Hello Fabulous!Jen Hardy here. Wow, what a journey it's been! Let me take you back a bit to 2018—a time my doctors believed would be my final year on this beautiful planet. They told me I'd need a ventilator to breathe, basically predicting I'd be walking around with what felt like a giant backpack. Well, guess what? Here I am, breathing and walking on my own, almost hitting 2025! If that's not a miracle, I don't know what is.I figured it was high time I introduced myself properly to my new audience, fans, and friends. If you've been following me, you might know me from my podcast days as "Hardy Mom," where I was reaching out to fellow moms battling chronic health issues. Learn more in the episode or watch on YouTube - YouTube.com/@thejenhardyThank you for joining me today!I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you! Want more?You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50!I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE.Have a blessed week,Jen Let's Connect!!JenHardy.netFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Hello Fabulous!The world has changed. It has changed so much! Last week I had the opportunity to help a 13 year-old girl, Grace, publish her book on Amazon. Wow! It was so exciting. She wrote the book and designed the cover all by herself. It's been released and not only did I want to tell you about it, but I wanted her to tell you about it.FIND THE BOOK ON AMAZON HEREAnd does she have things to say! I asked her about parenting teenagers and she gave me some answers. You might not have expected. I'd love to know what you think about it all. You can go to jenhardy.net/contact and send me a message.You can go to jenhardy.net/contact and send me a message.She also has advice for all of us that is timeless. She is encouraging and thoughtful, and I'm very proud of you Grace!Thank you for joining me today!I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!Want more?You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50!I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE.Have a blessed week,Jen Let's Connect!!JenHardy.netFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Hello Fabulous!Today I'm excited to share a personal update that's been long overdue. From the evolution of our podcast name to my creative journey with the viral "shower thoughts" on YouTube, there's so much to discuss. I'll also touch upon some thrilling future plans, including upcoming cruises for women and grandparents, and some exciting ventures in AI solutions. Plus, get a sneak peek into our ongoing series "Voices of Justice" that dives into the intricacies of our legal system. Stay tuned to hear about my family adventures, my passion projects, and so much more. Let's jump right in and catch up on all things fabulous!Thank you for joining me today!I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!Want more?You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50!I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE.Have a blessed week,Jen Let's Connect!!JenHardy.netFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Hello Fabulous!So, I recently had the absolute delight of sitting down with the one and only Sasha Gray, and let me just say - if joy were a person, it would definitely be her, decked out in glitter, no less! From the moment Sasha flashed that wise and winsome smile of hers, I knew we were in for a treat.First off, can we talk about how the world has become a glitter-bomb of isolation since 2020? Sasha and I dug right into that. It's like one day we're all bopping to mall music and the next, we're mastering the mute button on Zoom calls. Sasha shared her thoughts on how, even though platforms like Zoom and social media live streams have been lifesavers, nothing can truly replace the warmth of human connection. And, do I agree!Now, onto my favorite part - Sasha's Glitter and Grace Club. Yes, it is as fabulous as it sounds. Sasha has created this oasis of girl power where mainly women (and the occasional brave soul of a man) gather to talk about everything from fashion disasters to deep emotional support. And by the way, if you ever see me there, it's probably because I snuck in to sneak some of that glitter!You can hear all about the rest in the episode.Love,JenThank you for joining me today!I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you! Want more?Find Sasha on her fabulous website: www.scatteredsasha.comYou can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50!I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE.Have a blessed week,Jen Let's Connect!!JenHardy.netFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Hello Fabulous!It's Jen here, and boy, do I have a story for you! Judge Rosie Speedlin Gonzalez is one heck of a rebellious spirit setting the courtroom! And let's just say, she's not your typical judge.First off, Judge Rosie rolls into the frame, and yeah, she sports tattoos. Now, before you go raising eyebrows, know this: each ink on her skin has a story, deeply rooted in connection and memory, especially her bonds with her father. Now that's a family album you can't just flip through! We dove headfirst into the harsh world of modern information access. Picture this: a world where kids wield smartphones like they're extensions of their hands. Judge Rosie, laying down the law as she does best, campaigned for no phones till kids hit sixteen. Stern? Maybe. Wise? Definitely.Her court isn't the usual "all rise, all sit, judgment passed, go home."Imagine a place where instead of the doom of the gavel, you get a path paved towards real change. Bexar County's specialty courts have been her stage, directing spotlights on drug treatment and addiction—issues that hit hard and ruin silently. Under her guidance, 27 out of 28 graduates stayed on the straight and narrow. If that's not winning, I don't know what is!From discussing tech's role in transparency to sporting a pride flag as a beacon of equality in San Antonio, Judge Rosie doesn't just push boundaries—she redraws them. She's faced down disciplinary actions for her support of the LGBTQ+ community, an ordeal that only steeled her resolve. That pride flag now sits right outside her chambers, a testament to her fight and identity.Cheers to our robed rebel, and to all of us living unapologetically and making each moment in the courtroom, or anywhere else, profoundly ours.Until next time,Jen Let's Connect!!JenHardy.netFacebookInstagramLinkedInFind Judge Rosie's video on the Reflejo Court here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnSPuEMSwTU

Hello, my fabulous fashionistas! Welcome back to the "Fabulous Over Fifty" podcast! I'm your host, Jen Hardy, and let me tell you, today's episode with the divine Nancy Queen, the reigning monarch of minimalist wardrobes, was both enlightening and, dare I say, life-changing! She is the star of "Shopping on Champagne" on YouTube. Nancy opened up about her escapades in the fashion world, all from the comfort of her temporary East Coast command center, thanks to caring for her dad. And yes, despite the chaos, Nancy's surroundings were as stylish as the advice she dished out – No cluttered backgrounds or fashion faux pas in sight! Let's talk about the real runway show here: our closets. As we dove into the concept of capsule wardrobes, it became apparent that my own closet was the equivalent of  ‘Where's Waldo?' – too many pieces with nowhere to be found purpose! Nancy's approach, by contrast, is like food shopping with a laser-focused grocery list – intentional, strategic, and leaving no room for those impulsive buys (looking at you, neon legwarmers from 1985). Her idea of "style words" and her passion for helping women find their personal fashion identity resonated with me; I could almost hear my eclectic collection of scarves sobbing as they realized their days were numbered. So sit back, or better yet, stand in front of your closet with a critical eye, and get ready to be inspired. Trust me, whether you're a seasoned fashion enthusiast or someone whose idea of a wild day is choosing the shirt that doesn't have coffee stains, this episode has something for everyone. Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

Hello Fabulous!! I don't know about you, but I love gadgets. I've always been into tech, since I was a kid. I remember when we brought home that shiny new apple to Computer. Little did we know that it was a dud, but it seems cutting edge of the time, and we were so excited! But now we've transformed our gadgets from mere tools to almost sentient companions that could give your pet a run for its money. There's a fine, sometimes nefarious line between convenience and dependency, where these smart devices learn our habits faster than we do theirs. We're sliding into an era where your coffee machine not only knows your preferred brew but also questions your life choices if you reach for that third cup. Today we're talking about the top 3 ways you can have issues, and how to lock your tech down to save yourself some headaches. Listen for more!   Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

Hello fabulous friends! I In this week's episode of Fabulous Over 50, we're diving headfirst into the world of AI, and let me tell you, I am absolutely hooked! From vacuuming robots to smart light bulbs and security systems, I have found all sorts of ways to make my life a whole lot easier. And let's not forget about Chat GPT, the friendly little AI chatbot who helps me out in a pinch, writes uncomfortable letters for me, and even provides travel advice. Who knew AI could be so versatile and, dare I say, fabulous? But as much as I love embracing the AI revolution, I can't help but learn about the nefarious potential lurking in the shadows. Next week, we're going to peel back the curtain and take a closer look at the dark side of AI. But fear not, my friends, because after that, we've got an amazing guest lined up to dazzle us with fashion and style tips that will make getting dressed a joy, even on those "can't be bothered" days. So don't miss out - tune in, stay fabulous, and let's conquer the world of AI together!   Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

Greetings fabulous!  Today we dive into the glittering world of personal branding with none other than the punk-rock-spirited CPA, Heather Zeitzwolfe. Between shared technical snafus involving the mysterious entity that is Zoom and confessing our collective affinity for AppSumo deals (they really should start sponsoring us at this point), we spent more time laughing than I ever have during an episode!  And yes, that image of us decked out in sequins and leather while balancing our checkbooks is 100% accurate - our personal brands are all about shining bright and rocking out, no matter what the ledger says. So pull up your favorite chair, slap on some of that old-school eyeliner if you're feelin' it, and get ready for an episode that juggles everything from our punk days listening to Social Distortion  to the taxing conundrums of being an Amazon Vine reviewer (who knew reviewing could be so, well, taxable?). Heather not only brought down the house with her tales of spicing up the CPA world with a dash of rebellion, but she also gave us a peek behind the velvet curtain of personal reinvention. Trust me, whether you're a rockstar at heart or a glitter enthusiast, finding your personal brand over fifty isn't just possible—it's a downright hoot. Let's crank up the volume and celebrate the fabulous, misfit anthems of our lives.   Thank you for joining us today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you! Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Contact Heather: Instagram -  LinkedIn  Get Radical With Your Business: Facebook - Website - Podcast Book a Discovery Call (via Zoom) - Schedule Zeitzwolfe Accounting: Website - Facebook

Are you ready to dive into what it means to live a vibrant and fulfilling life after 50 and beyond? And look FABULOUS while you do it? Confidence and a smile are the secrets! We're going on a journey through the transformative power of confidence and a smile – and let me tell you, it's an episode you don't want to miss. We're starting off talking about makeovers, and all about Jen's external changes, such as rhinestones & sequins (although those are always fun!) And moving on to the profound truth – you don't have to be "blingy" to be fabulous. Yes, you heard that right. It's all about feeling good about who you are and embracing your authentic self – wrinkles and all. Listen for more details, and share this one with a friend. Imagine what would happen if everyone started smiling at each other!! Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

"There's a fine line between glittery and tacky. Very fine line. I try to stay on the correct side of that line. I am quite sure that I pass it often." - Jen Hardy   Hello fabulous! My mom always said that glitter is the herpes of the craft world! The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Like herpes, glitter just doesn't seem to go away. But now that I'm over 50, I've decided to embrace the sparkle. And you know what? It's working! People are too busy noticing the glitter to pay much attention to the wrinkles. So, why not throw a little sparkle on those laugh lines? As I always say, if it sparkles, it's fabulous! Speaking of fabulous, I recently attended Podfest, and let me tell you, the struggle of getting ready in the morning is real. But I've discovered a secret that has changed the game for me. Get yourself a cute hat, bling it out, throw on a little lipstick, and voilà, you've got a glamorous look in no time. Who knew getting ready could be that simple? So whether you're rocking the glitter and sequins or just living that relaxed life, find what makes you feel fabulous and own it! Until next time, stay fabulous, my friends. Jen   Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! You can find me in the following places: JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

Hello Beautiful! You know who you are...you learned to dance with your friends at slumber parties, not from YouTube. You sat for hours on the weekends with the phone cord wrapping and unwrapping around your fingers while you giggled the night away. And you always knew who your "friends" were.  You are still just as beautiful, more worthy, and wise beyond measure! Remember that. I've realized that there's no bad hair day a little glitter and glam can't solve.... No matter what's happening out there, sometimes we just need to dance to a great perky song, and while it might not be "great," it is perky!! (and I wrote it just for you) So dance and smile for me today & I'll be back to talk to you soon. Love,  Jen   Thank you for joining me! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you! Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! You can find me in the following places: JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

#1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

(10 Hours) #1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

(5 Hours) #1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

#1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

(5 Hours) #1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

(10 Hours) #1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

(5 Hours) #1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

(10 Hours) #1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

#1068 - Chatting To Jen - Let Me Bore You To Sleep (27th January 2024) by Jason Newland

Hey there fabulous friend! I just had to share my excitement with you about my upcoming trip to Podfest. I can't help but feel like a kid at Christmas when I think about all the fabulous friends I'm going to see and the incredible time we'll have talking about all things podcasting. It's not just about the tech and learning, but the friendships and connections that make the whole experience so special. I mean, who wouldn't be excited about a giant love fest of shared interests and mutual respect, right? If you're thinking about joining the podcasting world, I'd say, "come on in, the water's fine!" And if you need a ticket, well, that's what husband and I are here for—volunteer coordinators with the hookup. As I like to say, "you belong anywhere you go!" On another note, I'm beyond thrilled to introduce you to my latest passion project, Jen's Friends. It's like a daily dose of sunshine delivered right to your inbox, specially designed to make you feel like the amazing person you are. I mean, who doesn't want a virtual hug and a daily reminder that they're fabulous, right? If you know someone who could use a little extra love in their inbox, send them my way at jenhardy.net/friends. Let's spread the fabulousness together! And remember, stay tuned, and stay fabulous, my friends! Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! You can find me in the following places: JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn      

Hey there, fabulous listeners! It's Jen Hardy, and I am beyond thrilled to be back with you today. Let me just say, the past month has been absolutely incredible. I had the privilege of visiting my daughter in Europe and let me tell you, it was a whirlwind adventure. We explored five countries in just two and a half weeks, indulging in unforgettable experiences like having lunch in the Eiffel Tower and taking a bike ride to the Louvre. But that's not all! We also had the opportunity to accompany my husband to the place he was stationed during the 1st Gulf War, which brought him immense closure and allowed us to truly connect on a deeper level. I highly recommend this journey if you have the chance, especially if you're married to someone who has served in the military. Now, onto some exciting news on the home front. We have seven children, ranging from 12 to 34 years old, but get ready for a big surprise - we're hoping to welcome a 5-year-old into our lives! It's emotional, overwhelming, and absolutely wonderful, and I promise to share more about this incredible journey in a future episode. But for now, I just want to apologize for my absence and express my gratitude for your understanding.  Thank you for joining me today! I'm having a blast creating Fabulous Over 50 & it would be an honor to have you share it with someone who would enjoy it. Thank you!   Want more? You can go to the website and you'll find many ways to live your best life over 50! I'd love to hear what you think about this episode & what you'd like to hear about in the future. Send me a message HERE. Have a blessed week, Jen   Let's Connect!! Here's the group I created just for women over 50, 60, 70, and beyond: Join the Gold Circle for women over 50 You can also find me in the following places: JenHardy.net Facebook Instagram LinkedIn    

Do you sometimes struggle to stay present and focused in the classroom?It's time to transform your teaching experience and find inner peace.In this episode, I am joined by Dan Tricarico, a high school English teacher for over thirty years and an author. Dan shares insights on how to incorporate zen practices into your daily life as a teacher. We also discussed the importance of mindfulness, acceptance, and self-care, and provide practical tips for staying present in the moment. If you're ready to take your teaching to the next level, find inner peace, and create a more positive classroom environment, then tune in to this episode.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Dan:Dan Tricarico has been a high school English teacher for over thirty years. He is also the author of The Zen Teacher: Creating Focus, Simplicity, and Tranquility in the Classroom (DBC, Inc. 2015) and Sanctuaries: Self-Care Secrets for Stressed Out Teachers (DBC, Inc. 2018). In his spare time, he enjoys writing, listening to music, reading mystery novels, watching movies, and staring out of windows.  One of his first loves is writing poetry, and he has published many poems both in print and online.Connect with Dan:Website: thezenteacher.comTwitter: @thezenteacher IG: @zenteacher FB: The Zen Teacher

Feeling burnt out and overwhelmed as an educator? Want to prioritize your well-being and make a positive impact on the lives of the children you serve?In this episode, I had the pleasure of interviewing Katie Raher, an expert in social-emotional learning and well-being, and founder and CEO of Constant Love and Learning. Katie shared some incredible insights with us. In our conversation, we delve into the significance of prioritizing our own well-being and how it directly influences the well-being of the children in our care. Katie opens up about her personal journey, recounting the times she neglected her own well-being as a teacher and school psychologist, and the pivotal moment when she recognized the importance of self-care. Today, through her business, she guides and empowers educators and changemakers in cultivating their own well-being and fostering social-emotional learning.Ready to rejuvenate your passion for teaching, prioritize self-care, and create a positive ripple effect in the world around you?Tune in now!Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Katie:Dr. Katie Raher is the Founder and CEO of Constant Love and Learning, an award-winning teacher turned School Psychologist, a Certified Trauma-Informed Breathwork Facilitator, and a Kimochis Certified Trainer. She helps soul-led educators and change makers cultivate well-being and social emotional learning within themselves, the children they serve, and their larger systems, so they can expand and sustain their impact while living their best lives.Connect with Katie:Website: constantloveandlearning.comIG: @constantloveandlearning_FB: Constant Love and LearningTranscript

Feeling overwhelmed and stressed out as a teacher? Want to reignite your passion for teaching and make it a truly rewarding experience? You've come to the right place!In this episode, I chat with Brian Mendler, an educator who specializes in helping teachers connect with hard-to-reach kids. We dive into his transition from being a teacher to supporting other educators, and explore the gap between teacher training and real-world classroom experiences.Brian underlines the importance of remembering why we become teachers and shifting our focus towards teaching kids, not just content. He also emphasizes the value of building relationships with students and concentrating on self-improvement.Together, we tackle the challenges of reaching and communicating with students who have unique needs and face different obstacles. Brian shares his personal journey of living with ADHD and struggling with reading, which made school a tough environment for him. He stresses the need to understand and empathize with struggling students, and to find ways to uplift them instead of making them feel defeated.So, if you're eager to make a lasting impact on your students' lives, this episode is packed with valuable insights and motivation. Here's to transforming your teaching approach and embracing a more joyful and rewarding path! Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Brian:Plagued by severe undiagnosed ADHD and reading difficulties, I began disrupting class in 4th grade. I believed my peers would laugh at me for being “dumb” so I made sure they laughed at me for being “bad” instead. I was defiant, disruptive, and relatively unmotivated. By sixth grade, my academic skills were so below grade level that I was pulled/kicked out of school.During my senior year, I started gambling. The next five years were a cycle of lying, cheating, and stealing to feed my addiction. In 2001 I entered recovery. I am now clean 21 years.Today I am a certified teacher, presenter, and international motivational keynote speaker for educators. I have co/authored seven books, including the best seller, That One Kid, 2nd Edition,  Tips for Teachers, Power Struggles, Turning Tough Parents into Strong Partners, and Watch Your Mouth.Connect with Brian:Website: brianmendler.com IG: @brianmendlerPodcast: The Brian Mendler ShowTranscript

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed and stressed in the education system? Are you ready to make a real impact and create generational change for our kids? Join me as I interview Veronica Sopher, a renowned school communications leader with over two decades of experience in K-12 leadership. Veronica and I dive into the heart of the problem in education today - the need for appropriate mindset professional development for all adults in schools, not just teachers and leaders.In this episode, we uncover the importance of self-care and reflection in the education system, especially in light of the ever-evolving expectations of parents, teachers, and staff. We explore the impact of COVID-19 on the education system and how we can recalibrate and rebuild for the future.Veronica brings a wealth of knowledge on how to achieve a balance between masculine and feminine energy in leadership by embracing vulnerability. She shares her own experience of wearing pink and how it transformed how people responded to her. We also discuss how mindset professional development can shift traditional structures in education and create new models for the future.If you're ready to reignite your passion for education and be part of the crucial time of school culture building, tune in to this episode of Take Notes. Veronica's wisdom will leave you feeling empowered, inspired, and ready to make a change for the better. Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Veronica:Veronica V. Sopher is a dynamic school communications leader with more than 20 years' experience in K-12 leadership. She has served as the Chief Communications Officer for several large and mid-sized school districts. Sopher provides leadership, vision, direction and execution of major district communication programs, strategies, events, and activities. She now consults full time in the K-12 Communications space.Sopher believes in the power of selfcare and its dynamic impact on customer service, leadership development and teambuilding, especially in the K-12 space. After years of burning the candle at both ends and pushing herself to achieve, she realized that her physical and mental health were preventing her from creating balance in her home and her two teenage daughters and husband were not getting her best self.Sopher changed course, started investing in herself and reignited her mindset. This shift created a healthier homelife for her family, stronger and more effective productivity for her school district and leadership team and created a passion for sharing her learning with other K-12 leaders.Throughout her career, she has earned numerous professional awards and has led national award-winning teams. Sopher serves as a mentor to several school communications professionals and has held leadership positions for the Texas Schools Public Relations Association, including serving as President in 2021.Connect with Veronica:FB: Veronica V. Sopher IG: @veronicavsopher Website: www.veronicavsopher.comTranscript

Do you ever feel empty or lost deep inside? Are you hungry for more happiness and fulfillment?As we strive to create career success for ourselves, we can get so focused on our job that we forget to slow down and acknowledge our thoughts and feelings, which causes us to feel disconnected from ourselves.So how do you reconnect with yourself?Welcome to episode 34 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! Today, I'm joined by Ben Yeh. He is an entrepreneur, business/conscious leadership coach and creator of transformations.As you join us today, Ben will share the importance of having a heart-centered approach to your life. By discovering how to slow down, you'll be able to listen to your intuition which will help you learn about yourself and really understand what makes you happy.Are you ready to embrace a life that empowers you?Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Ben:Benjamin Yeh is a Business & Transformation Coach.  Ben's career has evolved from being a real estate consultant, investment officer for a family office where he invested over $1 billion dollars, serial entrepreneur, husband, father, speaker, advisor/coach and overall student of life. Combining his investment experience, business coaching and spiritual journey, Ben empowers heart-centered entrepreneurs on how to gain clarity in their purpose (their 'True North'), and live an enriching life: physically, mentally and spiritually.  Ben launched his Boom Vision Podcast in 2021, a show all about health, wealth and higher self! This show dives deep on how to create a fulfilling, abundant life: it starts with a powerful mindset!Connect with Ben:IG: @benjaminyehLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/benjaminyeh

As an empowered educator, how do you spend your time? Do you make aligned decisions on what to prioritize in your life?When it comes to living a full life, knowing how and when you spend your time is important. The decisions you make with your minutes define how your day and week will look.Welcome to episode 33 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! Today, I'm joined by Laura Vanderkam. She is a notable writer, author, and speaker on topics surrounding work-life balance, time management, and productivity.As you join us today, Laura will share tips and tricks you can use to optimize time management in your week. She also shares strategies that will help you get stuff done! Are you ready to establish good habits that will make your life easier?Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Laura:Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books. Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters, which was published on October 11, 2022, shares strategies that have been proven to help busy people feel like life is more sustainable and joyful on normal days. Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done (Portfolio, May 29, 2018), I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time (Portfolio, 2015), What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast (Portfolio, 2013), and 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think (Portfolio, 2010).Laura is also the author of a time management fable, Juliet's School of Possibilities, published by Portfolio in early 2019. Another novel, The Cortlandt Boys, is available as an ebook. Laura's work has appeared in publications including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, City Journal, Fortune, and Fast Company. She has appeared on numerous television programs, including The Today Show and CBS This Morning, hundreds of radio segments, and has spoken about time and productivity to audiences of all sizes. Her TED talk, “How to gain control of your free time,” has been viewed more than 12 million times. She is the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. She hosts the every-weekday-morning podcast Before Breakfast, featuring productivity tips designed to take listeners' days from great to awesome. Connect with Laura:Website: lauravanderkam.comIG: @lvanderkamFB: Laura Vanderkam

As empowered educators, we understand our students need a classroom culture where they can express themselves, honor others, and celebrate differences.But how do you create a safe space for diversity in the classroom?Welcome to episode 32 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! Today, I'm joined by Dr. Nia Nunn who is a teacher, scholar, and diversity, equity & inclusion (DEI) consultant for schools, universities, and organizations.In this episode, Dr. Nia talks about radical vulnerability and how it can transform the dynamics of the community. She also shares that by tapping into creative spaces that are freeing and allow us to express ourselves creatively, we can be role models for our students.Today is all about learning, unlearning and unpacking our differences to make a difference!Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Dr. Nia:Dr. Nia Nunn is a community leader wearing multiple head-wraps as a mother, artist, professor, board president, program developer, public speaker, and activist. Her work is rooted in creating an innovative Black consciousness curriculum, and centers on anti-racist and abolitionist framework with a performance arts delivery. She is committed to learning and engaging audiences creatively, intensely, and gracefully.Connect with Dr. Nia:Website: www.drnianunn.comIG: @drnianunn

What does it take to bounce back from a traumatic event? How do you thrive and survive the toxic stress and trauma?As educators, we often see certain behaviors that can be barriers to success for some students. And the ultimate goal is to help them get past these conflicts and challenges by encouraging them to focus on their future and success. But most of the time, what our students need is a safe space and adults who will listen and try to understand what they're going through. Welcome to episode 31 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with Renee Hettich. She is an author, licensed master social worker, and trainer on topics such as resiliency and therapeutic parenting.Renee opens the conversation about adverse childhood experiences and how they can affect the child's mindset and behavior long term.  Understanding your student's behavior is essential to their success. The truth is, we don't know what each student is going through, but the best we can do is to learn more about how we can help them. Tune in and find out how you can help your student understand their feelings better! Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator FacultyRoomAbout Renee:Renee has been parenting children from adverse histories for over twenty-six years as a foster, adoptive, and kinship parent. She is currently parenting four children who joined her family through inter-country adoption. She cares for children with special medical, learning, developmental, and mental health needs. Renee has worked in the field of adoption and foster care since 2004 as an adoption social worker and program director supporting families adopting domestically and internationally. In 2017, she joined the Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition as program director. She is dedicated to the well-being of adoptive, foster, and kinships families. She is proud to lead a team of experts who support adoptive and guardianship families in eight counties. Renee has published articles in Adoption Today and Adoptive Families (national adoption magazines). She is the author of the book My Kids Know More Than Me! 15 Life Lessons from Foster and Adopted Children. Renee is also a trainer on the topics of adverse childhood experiences, the adaptation of the brain from toxic stress and trauma, resiliency, and therapeutic parenting. She has also been featured on radio and podcast broadcasts in regard to parenting children with traumatic histories and with mental health challenges. Renee earned a Master of Social Work degree from Marywood University and has been a Licensed Master Social Worker since 2005. She also holds a Master's Degree in Audiology from the University of Pittsburgh and a Bachelor's Degree in Speech/Language Pathology from Ithaca College. www.Affcny.org

As an empowered educator, how do you shape the minds and hearts of your students?In this world that can seem chaotic, we all want them to grow successfully, but also to be kind and compassionate towards others.Encouraging them to reframe and adjust their perspective a tiny bit will help them become the best versions of themselves.Welcome to episode 30 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! Today, I'm joined by Amy Dickinson. She is an advice columnist, bestselling author and radio personality.Amy talks about the power of reframing our thoughts and the way we see things. When bad things happen, we often look at it negatively. But embracing a kinder and more compassionate mindset will help you live more freely and happily!Tune in to this very insightful episode and let compassion grow in your heart.Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Amy:Amy Dickinson writes the syndicated advice column, “Ask Amy,” which is carried in over 150 newspapers and read by an estimated 22 million readers daily. She is also author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, “The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Story of Surprising Second Chances,” and Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things.She is known not only for her wisdom but her wit. Since 2006, she has been a featured panelist on National Public Radio's comedy quiz show, “Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me.” She is also a sought-after speaker, delivering her inspiring and comic stories of her adventures and misadventures to groups around the country. After living in New York, London, Washington DC and Chicago, she moved back to her hometown in Central NY, married a local contractor she had known since childhood, and is now mother to five daughters.

Let's be honest, empowered educators, aim for a bright future for each of our students. We want them to succeed, not just inside the classroom, but also in the real world.And when you think about it, we guide them to bridge the gap between how our students see themselves and how they act and behave.As their teachers and role models, we must understand the power we hold when we show up for our students. We are their mentors and setting a good example is important for them to hone their future.Welcome to episode 29 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! Today, I'm speaking with AJ Crabill. He is an advocate and public speaker on education reform.AJ believes that student outcomes don't change until adult behaviors change. And he shares the importance of transformation of adult mindset to encourage our students.You get to be the change you want to see in your students.Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator FacultyRoomAbout AJ:AJ Crabill serves as Conservator at DeSoto ISD -- where during his guidance, DeSoto improved from F ratings in academics, finance, and governance to B ratings -- and as Governance Director at CGCS. He served as Deputy Commissioner at Texas' Education Agency and Board Chair of Kansas City Public Schools.Connect with AJ:Website: www.ajcrabill.comhttps://www.greatontheirbehalf.com/ IG: @ajcrabill7https://www.greatontheirbehalf.com/

Do you feel burnt out, tired, and sluggish at times?Sometimes this can actually be because our hormones are a little out of balance.Working in a fast-paced environment, you sometimes don't realize that your daily habits can be extremely exhausting.It's easy to chuck it all up to your stressful work. But the truth is, knowing how your hormones work can help you understand how your system changes throughout the month.Welcome to episode 28 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with Dr. Beth Westie. She's an amazing author, speaker, chiropractor, and the host of Female Health Solution Podcast.During our talk, we cover the importance of knowing about how your hormones work in maintaining good health and lifestyle. Dr. Beth aims to provide the best tips and tricks that you can start implementing to help you be more productive and energetic in your work.As an empowered educator, it's really essential to get your body to a state of optimal functioning to serve your students better.Today is all about the power of knowledge towards a healthier lifestyle!  The power is in your hands, are you ready to claim it? Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Dr. Beth:Dr. Beth is the author of the Best Selling book, The Female Fat Solution, the creator of the 12 Week Female Hormone Solution, the Eat for Your Cycle™ Method, and the host of The Female Health Solution Podcast. She has made it her mission to change the way women view their health. Working to educate and empower women to take their health into their own hands, she uses nutrition to help women work with the natural cycle of their bodies to achieve lasting weight loss results.Connect with Dr. Beth:Website: www.drbethwestie.comIG: @drbethwestie

Bullying.It's unwanted, hurtful, and aggressive.One out of every five students reports being bullied in schools around the United States. While it's a rocky territory to navigate, it's important to empower students and strive for a better future for them.So, how do we stop it? How do we turn anger to compassion?Welcome to episode 27 of Next level Greatness! In today's episode, we are joined by Dali Rivera who is a parenting coach specializing in bullying. She's an advocate for the kids and aims to help families thrive and promote equality in their communities.Dali gives us a glimpse of how she started her mission to educate people about bullying prevention and awareness.Ready to stand firm and strong against the bullies? Listen to this insightful episode and learn how you can help yourself, your friends, and families to fight against bullying! Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator FacultyRoomAbout Dali:Dāli Rivera is a parenting coach specializing in bullying awareness & prevention education for parents of middle school-age kids. She helps parents learn how to advocate for their kids, and get them through the experience in a healthy way.She is also the creator of the Diversity & Anti-Bullying Academy (#DABA) and owner of DaliTalks, L.L.C.Dāli is a U.S. Army veteran, speaker, parent to two teen girls, and wife of a U.S. Army veteran. Dali earned a master's degree in Women & Gender Studies from Towson University.Dali's passion to stop bullying comes from her own personal experiences as a bullied child and from having become an advocate for children, including her own. She has dedicated herself to sharing her knowledge to help families thrive, and promote equality in their own communities.Connect with Dali:Website: https://www.dalitalks.com/IG: @dalitalksYT: @DaliTalksShowPodcast: The DaliTalks Podcast

If I know one thing about you, it is that you are a dedicated teacher.Despite all the hardships you endure, being an effective teacher is, undoubtedly, a priority for you.Now, when it comes to challenges and triumphs, do you ever wonder why some things work out and why some don't?One of the most important tools for being an empowered educator is the reflective process. By reflecting on your experiences, you can align your purpose, understand what makes you happy, and develop an awareness of why things work out or don't. This reflective process also helps you tune into your body and create a culture of celebrating even the hard stuff. Which is why I'm excited for episode 26 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty!Today, I'm joined by a special guest Selena Woodward.Selena is a teacher, mentor, mother and the voice of The Reflective Teacher Podcast. She will be sharing her insights on the importance of reflection, especially for school teachers who want to build a fulfilling life and career.Here's a reminder to pause, notice, and reflect on the things around you, even if it means leaning into the difficult emotions. By doing so, you can enhance your effectiveness as a teacher and ultimately achieve a more rewarding career.Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Selena:Selena is the voice of the Reflective Teacher Podcast, a university Lecturer and an English and Drama teacher who coaches Educators around Australia through the Accreditation process.  With years of experience working with the AITSL standards, she is well known for her clear, helpful and easy to implement tips and tricks for making the process of evidence gathering and reflective practice easier.  Her mission to give teachers the perspectives and tools that they need to get the most out of the reflective process.  She strongly believes that reflective practice is all about helping you to connect with what you already do everyday, to see your impact, to celebrate that impact and to share that with your students.Connect with Selena here:Edufolios.orgIG: @edufolios

Do you frequently feel burned out at work as a school teacher? Are you eager to set clear boundaries and prioritize your well-being so you can finally achieve work-life balance and set a good boundary between school and home?Putting yourself first should be a priority. But sometimes making a change can be challenging because of the time, commitment, and repetitions you have to make to build a routine.Welcome to episode 23 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with business and life strategy coach, author and speaker for women, Julie DeLucca Collins. She talks about the influence of tiny habits in our daily lives.Julie believes that it's important to create growth for yourself. She understands that many empowered educators are feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and burned out. Through the power of a positive feedback loop, you'll be able to build the confidence you need to make a change in yourself and regulate your emotions.Today, it's all about showing up and being consistent in your tiny habits. So, join us in this conversation so you can get the momentum going!Stay empowered,Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Julie:Julie is a Business and Life Coach, Speaker, and Author. She helps entrepreneurs increase confidence, transform lives, and gain clients. She's passionate about helping women and organizations find success. As a seasoned mentor and coach in the professional field, she supports women in creating a vision and setting goals. Her framework uses the Tiny Habits method to ensure that you create lasting behaviors to help you succeed in your business.  Contact Julie here:Website:GoConfidentlyCoaching.comInstagram: @julie_deluccacollins

As an empowered educator, do you focus on the inner work it takes to help create a better quality of life?Being a teacher and creating a space that is accepting, healing and nurturing helps cultivate community- not just inside your classroom, but for society as a whole.Welcome to episode 22 of the Take Notes podcast with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with trauma informed subconscious mindset coach, Amanda Bolzau.She's a mentor and advocate who works with women on the rise who want to self actualize, grow, and live a more expansive life. I'm so excited to delve into her expertise on trauma, neuroplasticity, metacognition, and various somatic and subconscious modalities that really help break apart old conditioning, in order to live a truly free life. Her work empowers people to peel away the layers of inauthentic versions of themselves and reclaim who they were always meant to be.  As we dive deep into this conversation, Amanda shares the importance of doing the inner work in efforts to disrupt your old way of thinking and free yourself- because you have the power- ALL OF IT! Today is all about raising the consciousness of the world, by unlocking your own power!If you're ready to gain that freedom in your life, join us in this insightful conversation! Stay empowered, Jen  Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at: Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Amanda :Amanda is a Trauma-Informed Subconscious Success Coach, Mentor and Advocate working with women on the rise who want to Self-actualize, Grow, and live a more Expansive life. Amanda's expertise in trauma education and processing, neuroplasticity, metacognition, and various somatic and subconscious modalities helps you break apart your old conditioning so you can live a truly free life. Her work empowers you to peel away the layers of inauthentic versions of yourself in order to reclaim who you were always meant to be. She partners with you on your deeply personal journey to freedom, wherein you gain access to the most valuable lesson you'll ever learn... YOU have all the power... all of it... and you always have.Connect with Amanda here:Website:  TheLittFactor.com

Going through a divorce can be one of the most emotionally draining experiences a person can go through.It's filled with a range of emotions such as anger, resentment, grief, and regret. The demands of managing these emotions can often feel overwhelming, making it difficult to manage everyday tasks and obligations- like showing up for your students.But, with the right guidance and tools, it's possible to take back control of the situation and move towards a more peaceful future.Welcome to episode 21 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with juris doctorate, certified divorce coach, and a certified Mind Magic practitioner, Sharri Freedman.She helps people manage the difficult emotions of dealing with divorce.Through her work, she provides clients with tools that create a sense of peace and calm that regulate the nervous system so they can transition from simply reacting to the situation to being able to respond in a more constructive way.Divorce stress is real, and it's all encompassing. It's not about “just showing up”, whether it's by distraction or compartmentalizing. Because, pushing through and keeping it together is not what we do here.Today, it's all about highlighting the real feeling of loss associated with divorce in a way that normalizes the grief you feel with the same space and mass as the loss of a life.And, most importantly, to let you know that you are not alone.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Sharri:Sharri Freedman, JD, CDC, CMMMP is a family law attorney with almost 30 years experience as a divorce professional now practicing exclusively as a divorce, co-parenting and relationship coach. Using a trauma informed lens, she combines her legal wisdom with mindset and somatic practices to help women ditch the drama and do divorce differently. Sharri helps clients strategize the next best steps, improve communication and begin to heal, before, during and after divorce. Connect with Sharri here:Website: potomaccoaching.comEmail: Sharri@potomaccoaching.comInstagram: @yourdivorcecoachReferenced in this episode:The Choice: Escaping the Past and Embracing the Possible, by Dr. Edith Eva Eger

Have you ever felt lost and disconnected from self? Do you wish you could tap into your inner power and trust your instincts again? In today's society, there's intense pressure to suppress your emotions and not show your true self, which can lead to burnout and disconnection from yourself and others. But what if we could talk about our emotions? Not only in therapy, but in all aspects of our lives?Welcome to episode 20 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! Today, I'm speaking with  researcher, social worker and personal development coach based in Austin, Texas: Abi Mallick!Abi's journey into this field began as a public school teacher, where she taught bilingual kindergarten and first grade. Her passion for research led her to delve into the world of social work, where she worked with young people dealing with trauma and substance abuse.Now she works with adults to replace unhealthy coping skills and improve relationships with themselves and others.Today, Abi and I are discussing the research based self coaching tools she uses to help individuals and groups overcome self doubt and self sabotaging beliefs. So, let's empower ourselves and take control of our lives!Because, we can only deepen our connections with the people around us (especially our students) when we are in tune with our gut feelings, authenticity, and humanity.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Abi:Abi Mallick (She/They) is a researcher, social worker and personal development coach in Austin, Texas. She teaches research-based self-coaching tools to individuals and groups, so that they can heal self-doubt and self-sabotaging beliefs. Connect with Abi here:Website: The Existential CoachInstagram: @theexistentialcoachTranscript

We all have those days. You know, the ones where you feel stressed out, overwhelmed, and ready to snap at the slightest disruption in the classroom?But let's face it - being a teacher is tough work, and caring for others is no easy task. Welcome to episode 19 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with stress coach for moms, Elizabeth Andreyevskiy. She's sharing her journey of discovering how to prioritize her own needs and taking care of herself so she could become a more patient and grounded mother. I'm excited to have Elizabeth on the podcast today, because while you may not be a biological parent, as a teacher, you are taking on a similar role of caregiver to your students. Elizabeth believes that taking the time to prioritize yourself is essential in order to avoid teacher burnout and become the most effective educators you can be. She understands that many of us are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted due to our unmet needs and wants to provide support to normalize self-care. By taking the time to care for yourself, you can be better equipped to support your students and energize your teaching.Today, it's all about sharing practical tips for identifying and addressing your unmet needs so you can  better regulate your emotions and avoid reacting to difficult situations. So, let go of the guilt holding you back from putting yourself first, and join us in this conversation to find more joy in your teaching journey!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Elizabeth:Elizabeth is a stress coach for moms. She is the host of Emotionally Healthy Legacy podcast and a mom of 4. Elizabeth is super passionate about mental health and emotional wellness in motherhood. She helps overwhelmed moms reduce the mental stress so they can respond with patience and calm towards their kids. She teaches proactive ways to be less stressed, prioritizing moms' needs without guilt and ways to regulate emotions when feeling triggered. Contact Elizabeth here:Website: Emotionally Healthy LegacyInstagram: @emotionally_healthy_legacy

As an empowered educator how can you make an even bigger impact in the world?What if teacher performance indicators were based on leading with curiosity and openness, rather than grades and test scores?Everyone deserves respect and kindness, and this is an important mindset to have when connecting with others- especially students.When we create spaces rooted in collaboration and discovery we gain new insights and experiences far beyond the classroom walls.Welcome to episode 18 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with kindness coach, Kevin Huntting! He loves nothing more than connecting with people seeking their own personal growth, so they can make an even bigger impact in their lives and in this world.Kevin supports lots of overwhelmed leaders and purpose driven organizations develop the emotional intelligence in leadership that is necessary to create greater ease, kindness, and inspiration.We delve into how social emotional learning approaches have a significant impact on not only students, but also the adults around them. Because, ultimately we have to be the change that we want to see in our kids.Today is all about looking inward with curiosity about ourselves so that we can become better leaders and fully appreciate the beauty and diversity around us all.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Kevin:Hi, I am Kevin the KINDNESS Coach. I support overwhelmed leaders & purpose driven organizations develop the EQ necessary to lead with greater ease, kindness, inspiration and impact! Connect with Kevin here:Instagram: 2stepsforwardcoachingFacebook: 2 Steps Forward CoachingWebsite: 2 Steps Forward Coaching

Where are health and nutrition on your list of priorities?Does the idea of losing weight and getting healthy feel more like a roller coaster ride than a path to teacher well-being?When you start looking at food through the lens of fueling your body and get out of the dieter's mindset of lack and scarcity, it starts to become an integral part of your well-being as a whole person. But, how can you shift your mindset for good?Welcome to episode 17 of the Take Notes podcast with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with weight loss coach for teachers, Sonia Dhaliwal. She helps teacher moms lose weight through self-care and exploring how their unique bodies work- rather than a one size fits all approach.Sonia believes in getting back to basics through learning which foods fuel  AND help you shed some pounds. She feels that if you're going to be on your feet all day delivering engaging lessons and then run home to your own children, you need to figure out what's going to give you sustained energy!Teacher self-care is incredibly multifaceted- and nutrition and health is a piece of the empowered educator puzzle.Today is all about aligning what you say with your habits! We're taking a whole body approach for the long term, no longer just worrying about losing weight- but truly taking care of yourself.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me:Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Sonia:Sonia Dhaliwal, a weight loss coach for teachers, is all about helping teacher moms struggling with the weight loss roller coaster. She helps them lose weight for good with one-on-one coaching. She believes in finding foods that help teachers feel fueled, learning ways to sneak in some self-care, and exploring how areas off the plate can affect the progress of one's weight-loss goals. Sonia feels that if you're going to be on your feet all day delivering engaging lessons and then run home to your little cherubs waiting for you, we need to figure out what's going to give you your second wind. Teacher Moms deserve to be in front of students with all the confidence in the world and overhear their own kiddos say things like, "Mom is so much more fun now that she plays games with us!" Getting back to basics and learning which foods fuel you, but also help you shed some pounds are the go-to strategies in all of Sonia's training and core philosophy.Connect with Sonia here:Instagram: @wildheartmommasFacebook:  Wild Heart MommasWebsite: Holistic Health Coaching | Wild Heart Mommas

What does it mean to create safe and courageous spaces in school where students feel comfortable taking risks? How can we encourage high achievers to use the creative arts to lean into the beauty of making messy mistakes?Self-care routines can come in many forms. But, few modalities help you tune into self-trust and personal expansion like the arts.Welcome to episode 16 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with Sharon Costianes. She has helped introduce freedom and mobility to people through her Feldenkrais practice at Body Song. She has worked with a wide variety of people: performers, athletes, elders, and children.Sharon holds a Bachelor of Music from Ithaca College in vocal performance and sociology with a minor in theater and a certification from Feldenkrais resources in Manhattan, as well as a professional certification from the Feldenkrais guild of North America.In this conversation, we dive deep into discovering the true value of well-being, how to get quiet, and empowering educators by reassuring you that it's okay to give yourself permission to relax for a minute!Today, it's all about breaking away from perfectionism, encouraging teacher well-being, and leveraging your own wellness to create safe and brave spaces for learning that support equity and inclusion!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me:Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomContact Sharon here:Instagram: @sharon_costianesWebsite: Flight Performing ArtsClick here for a special gift from Sharon:https://mailchi.mp/93fbb705d9fc/socialactiongiftAbout Sharon:Sharon holds a BMu from Ithaca College in vocal performance and sociology with a minor in theater, certification from Feldenkrais Resources in Manhattan, as well as Professional Certification from The Feldenkrais Guild® of North America (2006). She has studied extensively and volunteers at the Clinic with Sheryl Field at the Field Center for Children's Integrated Development. She is also the founder and director of Flight Performing Arts in Ithaca, NY. Sharon has helped introduce freedom and mobility to people with chronic pain, arthritis, as well as people recovering from injury, trauma, and surgery through her Feldenkrais practice at Body Song. Sharon has been teaching private voice lessons for nearly 20. In that time, she has earned a reputation for being the “voice whisperer” helping each singer find their own unique sound. Possessing unique insight and skill into the physical organization of the singer, she can assess and correct tension patterns that hinder proper vocal technique quickly and effectively, allowing each student to find more power and ease with beautiful tone and sound quality.Sharon has had the distinct honor of serving on the faculty at Ithaca College, and the Community School of Music and Arts, and as a guest lecturer at Cornell University. She is a regular theatrical director and music director with the Ithaca School District. 

What if a missing piece to truly empowered educators includes feeling and looking great in your teacher outfits?What if the best way to fight the status quo of teaching today is to stop being in conflict with ourselves, and start loving our bodies as they are today?Feeling and looking your best can be an excellent conduit to start seeing yourself in a new light and feeling more confident. So, why not start the healing journey against teacher burnout in your own closet?Welcome to episode 13 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm chatting with fashion therapist, Marisol Colette!Marisol combines fashion and style with healing and transformation. Using her experience in social work, trauma, healing, emotional intelligence, and fashion, she supports people's journeys in discovering their own personal style.  She believes that when you feel comfortable and powerful in what you're wearing, it leads to feeling confident and powerful in all of the spaces in your life.Today is all about feeling great from the inside out, and discovering that it's not vain or self indulgent to have a stylist to support you in feeling more like yourself. Everybody around you wins when you take care of yourself first!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Marisol Colette “The Fashion Therapist”Marisol Colette is a Personal Stylist and Psychotherapist who has married her expertise in fashion and personal identity with her decade-plus long career working and teaching in the field of trauma healing. Marisol engages clients from the heart, helping clients define and refine their personal style to create life-changing results. Marisol believes that feeling comfortable and powerful in what you wear leads to feeling comfortable and powerful in everything you do. In one-on-one and group programs, clients find their authentic personal style through writing, personal sessions, Closet Transformations and therapeutic shopping outings. By looking and feeling good, clients gain the courage to shine their inner beauty on the outside, showing up in the world in new and notable ways. Marisol's background as a therapist allows her to bring a level of consciousness that is not incorporated in traditional styling, ultimately helping align your style to your soul.Can't wait to connect with Marisol? Find her here: Instagram: @solreflectionWebsite: Sol Reflection | Soul | Systems | StyleLinktree: solreflection | Facebook | Linktree Find all her freebies and different ways to work with Marison here!

What is your conflict style? Does your conflict resolution strategy consist of throwing your hands up and becoming indifferent and resentful?Or, do you become aggressive and defensive when you're met with difficult conversations?Conflict is not always comfortable. But, we can learn conflict resolution skills that make us feel more confident during these inevitable interactions. Welcome to episode 12 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with Rachel Teichberg, (my favorite sister, and returning guest) about all things conflict management.We discuss how conflict makes us feel, and how to manage conflict with more confidence, grace, and ease.Rachel is head of Learning and Development at Veterinary Growth Partners. She's a content creator, consultant and speaker who creates and delivers interactive leadership training programs that support veterinary practices in establishing or sustaining highly productive teams. Rachel's work parallels the work we do at Empowered Educator because leadership skills are transferable and directly related- no matter the industry.Today, it's all about discovering how to engage in difficult conversations productively in an effort to have more open and honest relationships- whether they be personal or professional.You may have not been taught these skills growing up, but if you want to handle things differently- I'm here to help you do the work!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Rachel TeichbergRachel is the head of learning and development at Veterinary Growth Partners. She works with teams to enhance their culture, boost team morale, and improve overall communication through conflict management and emotional intelligence training. Her goal is to design fun and engaging learning programs that make leaders feel less alone, give them the tools to excel in their roles, while creating beautiful moments of growth and awareness.Rachel and I have been working behind the scenes together pretty much our entire lives, and sharing her with you brings me so much joy. Her insights offer tremendous value regardless of industry.

On this episode, Jack interviews the one and only Jenny Milton, AKA @adrenajen!Jennie has collected quite the resume, including Professional Snowkiter and Snowkite Coach, Professional Kitesurfer and Instructor, Big Mountain Skier and backcountry guide.Not only is Jennie an epic teacher she also practices what she preaches. #1 Australian Womens Kitesurfing Champion 2018#4 GKA World Kitesurfing Finals 2018#2 Redbull Ragnarok Snowkite Race 2019#1 Alaska Snowkite Festival Mountain Race 2022 A word from Jen:Let me quickly introduce myself!My name is Jennie Milton, but they call me Adrenajen because I have a burning passion for Adrenaline Sports, including kitesurfing, Snowkiting, big mountain skiing & downhill MTB.A word from Jack:A few months ago, Jenny came to me in search of a PT session to help her sort out a few injuries and niggles she had accumulated over the years. I soon realised these weren't just everyday injuries. After a few training sessions and hearing all about Jennies' epic stories, her amazing job and her adrenaline-filled lifestyle, I knew I just had to get her on the podcast! This podcast has so many good stories, everything from Jen selling her house, a sports car, and a successful business to chase her dreams! To the goosebump-inducing stories about her big mountain accomplishments. Just when I thought it couldn't get more thrilling, in 2019, Jen decided she wanted to start competing in the world of kiting! All within the same year, she became the Australian kite surfing champion. She came fourth in the world in the world kite surfing competition, and then she took on the Red Bull Ragnarok. That is one to look up! One heck of a crazy snowboarding race. In this episode, Jen shares all of these stories and more; you can quite literally feel the passion in her voice!Jack and Jennie have just finished an awesome collaboration, combining kiting education with a program designed to help any kiter level-up their strength and kiting skills. Check it out here:https://www.in-situcollective.com/kite-fit-forecastFind us on Instagram @jack.lgraham@mack.insituJoin us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9IpBODN7OHMp_P0mBXij_Q FREE 4-week Fat Loss Home Programhttps://www.in-situcollective.com/fat-loss-guide-downloadOur ProgramsMove Well, Look Good, 12-WEEK WORKOUT PROGRAM.A full-body weightlifting and muscle-building program that requires three gym sessions per week with off-day mobility sessions and "focus sessions". This program is structured to ensure you see continual progress. https://www.in-situcollective.com/move-well-look-good Build and Shape, 15-WEEK WORKOUT PROGRAMA program designed for more experienced and committed lifters looking to improve their overall physique and aesthetics. https://www.in-situcollective.com/build-and-shape At Home Program, 6-WEEK WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMAn at-home weight loss program combining cardio and strength training to level your physical fitness in just six weeks.https://www.in-situcollective.com/at-home-programApp Accesshttps://www.in-situcollective.com/in-situappTry Whoop free for a month when you use this link. https://join.whoop.com/#/3B2287Try RecGen Clothing. Get $20 off when you shop with my link http://rwrd.io/n86yv9w?s

Why did you decide to become a teacher?Usually, the answer is to create impact and change in their students' lives, and ideally the world at large.But, these days, after living through a pandemic, the stress of test score expectations, and the role of politics in education- it can be difficult to focus on that original intent.Welcome to episode 11 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Julie Schmidt Hasson. She is a professor in leadership and school administration at Appalachian State University, former teacher and a principal. Currently, she teaches graduate courses in school leadership and conducts qualitative research in schools.Julie is also the creator of Chalk & Chances project where she compiles inspirational teacher stories that seeks to answer the question “Who did you become because of a teacher?”  Her research on long term teacher impact and classroom culture is the foundation of her books, professional development programs and her TEDx talk. We discuss helping kids feel safe, seen and stretched, and remembering that although we're planting seeds that we'll never actually see the fruit of- teacher impact is enormous and gratifying.Break out the tissues, because today is all about reconnecting with your intention and subsequently your attention into why you became a teacher in the first place.We're here to leave a beautiful legacy of elevating humanity in a way that creates a better world!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Dr. Julie Schmidt Hasson:Dr. Julie Schmidt Hasson is a professor in Leadership and School Administration at Appalachian State University. A former teacher and principal, she now teaches graduate courses in school leadership and conducts qualitative research in schools. Julie's research on long term teacher impact and classroom culture is the foundation of her books, professional development programs, and TEDx Talk. Her latest book, Safe, Seen, and Stretched in the Classroom: The Remarkable Ways Teachers Shape Students' Lives, was published in November 2021. Julie is a third-generation educator and the proud mother of a teacher. Connect with Julie here:Instagram: @julieshassonWebsite: chalkandchances.com

What does it take to come back from trauma?How do you move from surviving to thriving after a traumatic event?There are amazing strength building opportunities when you come out on the other side of trauma. You don't have to get stuck in the negative parts of your story, and it's even possible to leverage it into transformation. Welcome to episode 10 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I'm speaking with Nichole Myles, who weaves together compelling storytelling with experience and expertise to engage listeners in a journey of self-discovery, the ups and the downs of growth, and how to recover from emotional trauma.Nichole brings more than 20 years of experience in education, nonprofits and leadership. Having gone from a traditional upper middle class life to losing everything living in domestic violence shelters and having to rebuild an entire life while raising three children.In our conversation we delve into why resilience is important, its true purpose, and how we are wildly overselling it in today's society. Also, we discuss that trauma informed classrooms and teachers don't have to be heavy or hard- and how to get it right!Today is all about finding a pathway to healing and feeling empowered about your external circumstances. Nichole doesn't just speak about post traumatic growth, she's lived it. She teaches how to really lean into these experiences in a way that amplifies your future and moves past survivorship to thrivership!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_Facebook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Nichole Myles:Bringing forward more than 20 years of experience in education, nonprofits, and leadership, Nichole Myles weaves together compelling storytelling with experience and expertise to engage listeners in a journey of self-discovery – the ups and downs of growth – and what it takes to come back from trauma. Having gone from a ‘traditional' upper-middle class life to losing everything, living in domestic violence shelters, and having rebuilt an entire life while raising 3 children – Nichole doesn't just speak about post-traumatic growth, she's lived it. Nichole carries a CAGS in Nonprofit Management, a CFRE (certified fundraising executive) designation, a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) Certificate, and 2 levels of professional certifications in Trauma and Resilience. Her master's in Organizational Psychology with a Coaching and Consulting concentration is expected early 2023. She uses her education to hone poignant personal stories into opportunities for participants to glean critical steps to their own growth – to examine what they've overcome, and how to lean into that experience to amplify their futures. Nichole works as an ‘expert companion' in the position of speaker, facilitator, consultant, or coach, helping move clients from ‘survivorship' to ‘thrivorship'. Connect with Nichole here:Instagram: @myles.2goFacebook Mylestogo Speaking and ConsultingWebsite: MylestoGo.net Sign Up for her email list and receive 20 phrases to avoid and 12 things to say instead, for trauma informed language quick reference PDF!

What does it mean to have a teacher identity? What makes a “good” teacher? And, what makes a teacher effective both in the classroom and in their personal lives?Teaching today can feel like we're putting ourselves in a box, and questioning some of our choices- even when those choices feel right and authentic to us as human beings. The truth is, the best way for you to create your identity is to be unapologetically and authentically, YOURSELF. And what better example is there to model for our students?Welcome to episode 9 of the Take Notes with Jen Rafferty podcast! In this episode, I am speaking with former educator, Jenn Mercado. Jenn is currently a real estate agent by trade and an entrepreneur by spirit.She is the owner of Jen Mercado PA,  her luxury real estate brand and Insightful Media LLC, where she provides coaching and direction for realtors and their social media presence. She has the unique gift of seeing people where they are and connecting them to communities that support them. Jenn a mother to two young children, a wife to her best friend and number one fan with whom she's created a seemingly traditional life while rewriting all the rules. In our conversation, Jenn takes us through her outside the box life trajectory from being a professional clown for many years to becoming an educator, a successful realtor- and everything in between! This talk with Jenn will serve in empowering teachers to incorporate outside the box thinking in their own lives while strengthening the student teacher relationship. Today, it's all about avoiding teacher burnout and self care for teachers using a more unorthodox, yet brilliantly authentic approach of allowing yourself to be happy in ALL the stages of your life!Teacher wellness is more than one thing, and so are you! Celebrate it!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty RoomAbout Jenn Mercado, PAJennifer Mercado is a real estate agent by trade, and entrepreneur by spirit. She is the owner of Jennifer Mercado, PA, her luxury real estate brand, and Insightful Media, LLC, where she provides coaching and direction for realtors and their social media presence. She has the unique gift of seeing people where they are and connecting them to communities that support them. She is a mother to 2 young children, a wife to her best friend and #1 fan, with whom she's created a seemingly traditional life while rewriting all the rules.Connect with Jenn here:IG- @thejennmercadoFB-JenniferMercadoRealtor JenniferMercadoRealtorTW- PalmBeachesRltrLinkedIn- JenniferMercadoRealtorMentioned in this episodeNever One Thing - May ErlewineListen here:Never One Thing - May Erlewine - YouTube

What is your strategy for health and longevity?Are your daily habits supporting and serving you as you age?Ultimately, your quality of life and overall health is completely up to you. The good news is that becoming an educator no longer resigns you to the traditions of martyrdom and revered selflessness of the past.Because, the most generous thing you can do for other people is to take care of yourself first.Welcome to episode 8 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with Dr. Otto Janke, chiropractor and owner of Janke Family Chiropractic in Cortland, New York.  He is an incredible chiropractor whose mission in life is to get as many people as possible to live their best and healthiest lives.During our talk, we cover everything you need to know about taking a holistic approach to health in a way that feels expansive and centers on getting your body to a state of optimal functioning, so you can focus on preventive care instead of trying to put out fires when something goes awry.Also, we discuss the role an optimized nervous system plays in maintaining good health and achieving longevity. All key points Dr. Otto expands upon in his program: Empire Longevity.Today is all about taking care of our health in gratitude for everything our bodies do, and as a means to ensure we get to enjoy a long life doing the things that light us up inside!It's all in your hands, and you can start today!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room

How has your journey into education changed over time?More importantly, how has this path changed YOU as a person and an educator?Do you feel safe being vulnerable enough to reflect upon and express the truth of your experience?As an educator, you don't always feel as if you have the time to process your emotions, and oftentimes you push it down and just keep on moving. But, when you start to open up and tell your stories, not only do you heal yourself- but you create a safe space for others to share theirs. Welcome to episode 7 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with distinguished teacher, multidisciplinary theater artist, and educational consultant, Ayesis Clay.She has flawlessly combined her extensive background in theater and education and founded Sculpted Clay Productions, LLC, where she uses keynote arts-infused residencies and professional development workshops to help schools create trauma-sensitive spaces that are focused on social-emotional wellness, and creativity for both teachers and students.Ayesis discusses the importance of giving yourself permission to play, and how to deal with the compassion fatigue, and teacher burnout many educators face. Today is all about re-energizing and reconnecting you with your “why” through art and vulnerability.In its essence, this conversation is an illustration of the remarkable journey that happens when you allow yourself to heal and move through the process of becoming.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Ayesis Clay:Ayesis Clay is a distinguished teacher, multidisciplinary theater artist, and educational consultant. She is a Featured Speaker and facilitator for the National Educational Theater Association and for SMART Technologies Teacher Summer Reboot Conference. She has developed curricula for the Maryland Department of Juvenile Services, Prince George's County Public Schools, as well as several educational theater companies across the nation.Combining her extensive background in theater and education, Ayesis founded Sculpted Clay Productions LLC, where she uses keynotes, arts-infused residencies, and professional development workshops to help schools create trauma-sensitive spaces that are focused on social-emotional wellness and creativity for both teachers and students. She continues to strive for an increased spotlight on teacher mental wellness by inspiring deeper conversations around creativity and humanity in education, as well as complex and important topics like compassion fatigue and burnout. Connect with Ayesis here: Instagram: @sculptedclayFacebook: Ayesis ClayTikTok: @sculpted_clayLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ayesisclay/Website: www.sculptedclayproductions.com

How do you determine when you “deserve” the things that bring you joy in life? What kind of person do you have to be? How many steps do you have to take? And, how many things do you have to do to prove your worth?  What if I told you that you deserve rest and joy in your life simply because you exist?There is no need to exchange burnout for deservedness. You can be everything you want to be, have a massive impact on the students and the communities you serve- AND take care of yourself at the same time. Welcome to episode 6 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode,  I'm speaking with sought after success mentor for visionary women leaders, Tracy Litt. Tracy is a science and spirituality teacher, rapid transformational hypnotherapist (RTT TM), a best selling author, TEDx speaker, the founder of the LITT factor, and creator of Mind Magic. She is a powerhouse, and most importantly opens up the novel concept that we deserve nothing less than EVERYTHING we desire. We are talking about the paradigm shift from seeking validation, to wholeness and worth being your birthright. Today, you're getting out of your own way and opening up your ability to receive unconditionally WITHOUT burnout. The concepts we discuss in this episode are a gift to us all! Let's go make it happen!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Tracy Litt:Tracy Litt is a sought-after success mentor for visionary women leaders that are navigating huge paradigm shifts and elevating into the next level of themselves, so they can seamlessly generate the next level of their impact, wealth, and holistic success.  Tracy is a science & spirituality teacher, rapid transformational hypnotherapist, best-selling author, and TEDx speaker. She is the Founder of The Litt Factor, and creator of Mind Magic ®, a proven methodology that marries metacognition and spirituality, neuroscience and quantum law to expand and elevate more quickly. Her work has served thousands of women across the globe and has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur, FastCompany, Thrive Global, Success 125 and Inc.com. Her book Worthy Human is a #1 best seller in Spiritual Growth and Mindset.Can't wait to connect with Tracy? Find her here:The Litt Factor | FacebookInstagram: @thelittfactorWebsite: The Litt Factor | Personal Growth and Coaching CompanyTracy's TedX Talk

What's keeping you from achieving your health and fitness goals?Is it mom guilt?Do you think it's selfish to invest in yourself?Or, do you keep putting your health on the back burner because you don't have the time for it?The truth is, building generational health is as important, (if not more so) than many other things you're prioritizing in your life. And, here's the good news-  it can be simple and ENJOYABLE! Welcome to episode 5 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm sharing an anxiety reducing and eye opening conversation with CEO of MindStrong Fitness, Rachel Freiman.  She's a mindset training coach that is passionate about helping others unleash their strongest, most empowered selves through education.Rachel has more than 15 years of classroom instruction experience,  as well as certifications in personal training, sports nutrition and behavior modification. She truly understands the incredible shift that happens in the classroom when teachers are fit, happy, and making time for themselves. Today is all about the important work of prioritizing your own well being and expanding the definition of what health means.Rachel is teaching some capital T truths, and showing us that there is way more flexibility and joy in getting healthy and fit than the diet industry would have you believe!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room 

What effect does a school principals' approach to collaborative decision making have on teachers and students?What is the role of creating invitations and agreements versus stringent expectations, constriction and restraint on teachers?A collaborative leadership style is one that opens the door to conversations and viewpoints that foster an environment of inclusion and spark visionary outcomes. It allows for comfortable and safe buy in from teachers, and exponentially improves students' experiences.Welcome to episode 4 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this episode, I'm speaking with Sean Gaillard, an educator, administrator, author and podcaster who believes that all students are future world changers. As an experienced school leader he is currently principal of Appalachian State University Academy at Middle Fork.We cover everything from our respective educators “origin stories”, the importance of reconnecting to mission and vision, and how there's very little the Beatles can't teach us all about perseverance, and dreaming BIG! This week is all about remembering our “why” in choosing to become educators, and what a difference feeling valued and included by school leadership makes in our noble profession. Let's reconnect to the moments that changed our lives early on and inspired us to become educators WHILE addressing the very real and pressing issues we're all facing today.We can do both at the same time- it's the only way forward.Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Sean GaillardSean Gaillard is an educator, administrator, author, and podcaster who believes that all students are future world changers.  An experienced school leader, Gaillard is currently principal of the Appalachian State University Academy at Middle Fork. In addition to keynoting and presenting at various conferences, Sean is the author of The Pepper Effect: Tap into the Magic of Creativity, Collaboration, and Innovation. He has contributed chapters to Evolving With Gratitude and Because of a Teacher, Volume 2. His various articles have appeared in “Education Week,” “Culture Sonar,” and PBS. He is the host of “The Principal Liner Notes Podcast.”  and the upcoming podcast, “The Album That Changed My Life.” In 2018, Sean was named the Lexington City Schools Principal of the Year. The following year, he was awarded the 2019 Wells Fargo Piedmont Triad Regional Principal of the Year and named a finalist for North Carolina Principal of the Year. Follow Sean on Twitter, Instagram, and Linktree. He is currently writing a book for Routledge titled “Profiles In Educational Courage.” Connect with Sean at:Podcast: The Principal Liner Notes Podcast Instagram: @smgaillard

Does the simple act of sitting down to look at your finances stress you out?Do you avoid tapping on your bank app because you tend to think ignorance is bliss?When you think about money, do you shift directly into scarcity mindset, and feel your body contract?As we uncover our stressors, one thing that comes up over and over again is money. And while it may not have to do directly with the stressors at school, money can cause feelings of anxiety and worry, which directly affects how we show up for our students.Welcome back to Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this second episode, I'm chatting with Financial Literacy Coach Diana Greshtchuk. As the CEO of Fan Your Flame, she teaches financial literacy to clients utilizing her 20 years of experience in the financial services industry.We have an honest talk about what it takes to feel empowered in our actions and choices when it comes to money. We cover everything from the generational money stories that subconsciously guide us, to the disempowering beliefs that take control of our finances- and most importantly, how to heal and move forward.Diana shares some trauma informed financial tips you may not have considered before, that I'm certain will change your perspective.Today is all about creating curiosity around finances, financial planning for teachers and educators, changing the language we use when referring to it, and regulating your nervous system while not deluding yourself and perpetuating the problem.You can figure this out! The tools are all here for you. When you use intention coupled with awareness you become unstoppable!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Diana GreshtchukDiana (She/Her) is the CEO of Fan Your Flame LLC, a financial literacy coach, and your best financial friend. She is passionately committed to guiding entrepreneurs, businesses and individuals to achieve a wide variety of financial goals. Diana utilizes pioneering methods rooted in practical financial concepts, business acumen, and mindset work to educate and empower her clients to achieve goals of financial independence, transformation, and abundance.Diana is a Certified Master Mind Magic Practitioner™ and is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner. By day, she is a VP of Fund Accounting & Finance at a private equity/venture capital firm based in Los Angeles, and holds an active Certified Public Accountant (CPA) designation in the State of California. She's a seasoned investor, venture capitalist, and angel investor for aspiring female entrepreneurs with 20 years of experience in the financial services industry.Diana gives back to the community by volunteering as a Board Member for the Point Foundation, a non-profit organization that empowers promising lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer students to achieve their full academic and leadership potential – despite the obstacles often put before them – to make a significant impact on society.Website: www.fan-your-flame.com 

Do you feel depleted, overwhelmed, and burnt out from your job?Are you so accustomed to working in a fast-paced environment, that stopping to take a breath seems laughable?How long do you think you can go on this way- and have ANY quality of life?It's so easy to find yourself adopting and absorbing the cultural values of your work environment. The fact is, your health and well-being are just as important, if not more so, than your productive output. Welcome to season 2 of Take Notes with Jen Rafferty! In this first episode, I'm speaking with Rachel Teichberg. Besides being my sister, she is the head of Learning and Development at Veterinary Growth Partners.In her role, she designs fun and engaging learning programs that make leaders feel less alone, give them the tools to excel in their roles, while creating beautiful moments of growth and awareness.We discuss her journey from having to google “what is rest” (to figure out if she was doing it right), to teaching hundreds of people how to balance personal and professional boundaries through her work. Today is all about emotional intelligence in the workplace, setting boundaries, and cultivating self-awareness. Rachel's experience is a profound example of the life-changing benefits of prioritizing yourself - and how it's possible for you too!Remember, the more we learn about ourselves, the bigger the impact we can make in the world!Stay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room About Rachel TeichbergRachel is the head of learning and development at Veterinary Growth Partners. She works with teams to enhance their culture, boost team morale, and improve overall communication through conflict management and emotional intelligence training. Her goal is to design fun and engaging learning programs that make leaders feel less alone, give them the tools to excel in their roles, while creating beautiful moments of growth and awareness.Rachel and I have been working behind the scenes together pretty much our entire lives, and sharing her with you brings me so much joy. Her insights offer tremendous value regardless of industry.

Hello, everyone! I know when you went into education, you had a passion for shaping young minds, creating community, and so much vision for how your work would impact this world. But sometimes those days can feel like they're behind you. Because today, there are so many stressors that leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated. And you might not even have anything left to give to the students that you care so much about. But I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be like this. In fact, the love of teaching never really went away. But it absolutely needs transformation. Welcome to The Take notes Podcast. I'm Jen Rafferty, former music teacher, mom of two, and Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner. I know you want to feel relaxed, abundant, and have time for yourself and the things you actually love to do. And I'm here to light the way for you. It's time to unlearn that toxic culture of selflessness in education and relearn that the most generous thing you can do for other people, is take care of yourself!So, in this podcast, you'll hear conversations that will help you reconnect with your purpose, create new boundaries, how to truly make generational change for our kids by shifting the paradigm away from the perpetual stress and overwhelm, and into a life of joy and fulfillment. We'll be covering topics like creating a juicy vision, emotional intelligence, financial and physical health, metacognition, conflict management, shifting your identity, and how to advocate for what you need. This is education 2.0, where you become a priority. Shift how you live your life, and how you show up both at home and at work. So, take a sip of steamy morning coffee, grab your notebook, it's time to take notesStay empowered,Jen Let's keep the conversation going! Find me at:Click here to learn all the ways you can work with me: Jen Rafferty | Instagram, YouTube, Facebook | LinktreeInstagram: @jenrafferty_FaceBook: Empowered Educator Faculty Room 

本集節目的乾媽乾爹是 緯育TibaMe！

Ready to experience more freedom? It's time to tame your distractions with our guest, and productivity expert, Mark Struczewski. Jen also shares about the limits of perception and experience, and why it's just as important for providers to stay in their lane as it is for customers to avoid scope creep. If growing your business feels like rocket science, let's fix that. Ready to dive in and work with Jen? Let's do this! About Mark Struczewski Our guest today is known as Mister Productivity. He works with executives to help them gain control of their time by taming distractions so they can experience less overwhelm, feel a sense of freedom and enjoy their lives. His productivity-themed podcast, The Mark Struczewski podcast, available everywhere, has 360 episodes and counting. In his time with us today, he will share strategies for how to be more productive in a distracted world. MisterProductivity.com The Mark Struczewski Podcast Next Level Productivity Digest (newsletter) The Mark Struczewski Podcast Facebook Group LinkedIn Instagram Twitter About Jen McFarland, CEO, Women Conquer Business Jen McFarland ditched her comfy C-suite tech project management job in pursuit of freedom. Jen’s goal is to help business leaders like you vet ideas, take ownership of their projects, and incorporate digital marketing from day one. Blind Men and Elephant Parable: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_men_and_an_elephant

Consistency, impact, and impact. What if I told you achieving your business goals is within reach if you're mindful of three simple things? This value-packed episode helps you work toward your goals every day while creating the legacy you want most. If you'd like to learn the Crazy Simple Sweet Spot to Reach Your Goals download your copy today. Ready to dive in and work with Jen? Let's do this! Announcements Jen's recent appearance on the She Breaks Thru Podcast Podcoin Listen to podcasts and earn podcoins as you go. Download the app and use promo code BUSINESS to earn your first 300 podcoin! Apple app Android app About Jen McFarland, CEO Women Conquer Business Jen McFarland ditched her comfy C-suite tech project management job in pursuit of freedom. Jen's goal is to help business leaders like you vet ideas, take ownership of their projects, and incorporate digital marketing from day one. If business growth feels like rocket science, let's change that: www.jenmcfarland.com/free.

When the New Year rolls around, people start making resolutions to change their lives. More often than not these ventures end in failure, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s not a lack of willpower, motivation or hard work. It’s just the way we make resolutions isn’t always consistent with the science of behavior change. Jen, Annie and Lauren explore the three ways you can make better resolutions this year, or even decide whether you need to make resolutions at all. Resolve to join us and learn more! What you’ll hear in this episode: The best time of year to buy used exercise equipment New Year’s resolutions and FOMO The Power of Suggestion, product placement and targeted ads Jumping on the bandwagon and following the leader The perfect storm of post-holiday shame Shame-based marketing as motivation for change Ending the binge-restrict cycle Learning to let the pendulum settle Zooming out to give context to holiday eating What happens when you try to change too many things at once Outcome-based goals vs habit-based goals How to turn an outcome-based goal into a habit-based goal Resources: Five Stages Of Behavior Change Episode 15: Habits 101 – Hack Your Habits, Change Your Life Episode 22: The Oreo Cookie Approach To Breaking A Bad Habit Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: The New Year is upon us and with that comes optimistic feelings of a fresh start, a clean slate and a chance to reach our goals. Love them or hate them, it’s estimated that almost half of Americans make resolutions every year. Step into any gym the 1st week of January and it’s clear that fitness and weight loss goals are topics for most resolution makers. Resolutions are a dime a dozen. It’s sticking to them that can be difficult. Sadly, the reality is that most of us who vow to make changes in 2019 will drop them before January is even over. On this episode of Balance365 Life Radio Jen, Lauren and I dive into common reasons why New Year’s resolutions fall flat and changes you can make to help ensure you stick with your goals long after the New Year’s excitement fades. Enjoy! Lauren and Jen, welcome back! We are discussing New Year’s resolutions already, can you believe it? Lauren: No. Jen: I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone. Annie: No, I feel like I blinked and it was like the end of the year. Jen: I feel like I just saw you guys in San Francisco in February. Annie: I know, it was like a year ago. Jen: I know. Annie: That’s what happens when you see each other every day and talk to each other every day, all day. Besties. So we are talking about New Year’s resolutions because, I mean, it’s obviously a timely subject, we’re coming up on the end of the year and people are thinking about what they want to accomplish in the New Year, right? Which is ironic because we used to have a challenge, we did a challenge a couple years ago called the Screw Your Resolutions challenge and it was our alternative, our Balance 365 alternative to resolutions because so many of us have made resolutions and failed, right? Have you done that? Jen: Most people. Lauren: Yeah. Jen: In fact. Lauren: No, I’ve never done it. Jen: In fact, I keep my eye out for workout equipment around March and April because it all goes back for sale, you can get really good deals on treadmills around that time. Annie: Yes and workout clothes as well too, like they’ll go on, I mean, they’re not on sale right now necessarily but because it’s a popular time to be buying them. Jen: Yeah. Oh I mean second hand- Annie: Oh, OK. Jen: March, April, yeah people, they buy, they get the deals in December-January, they spend $2000.00 on a treadmill and then by March-April it’s back up for sale for like $400.00 So keep your eye out- Annie: Because that treadmill trend- Jen: on buy and sell websites. Yeah because you just hang laundry on it, really. This is what you do. I mean, I’ve been there as well. But I sold my treadmill when we moved last time and I really regret it because now I’m looking at getting another one. And but I’m going to wait I’m going to wait for the New Year’s resolution dropouts to put theirs up for sale- Annie: Yeah, she’s going to take advantage of you guys, listen. Jen: March-April. Annie: She’s going to prey on you. Lauren, what about you? Have you made a resolution and failed to keep it? Lauren: Yes, pretty much every year besides the last five. Yeah, it was always obviously diet exercise related too. But then I would add, like, other things so I would want to do all the things. Annie: Yep. Which we’ll talk about. Please don’t jump ahead of my outline. Lauren: I’m sorry. Annie: We’ve talked about this. Jen: I made a New Year’s resolution-ish. It was a couple years ago it was really big to choose a word, like choose a word for 2016 or 2017 whenever it was and I jumped on board that train and it was a success but we will talk about that later. I won’t skip us ahead. Annie: What was your word? Jen: It was respond. Annie: Oh, OK. Jen: Rather than react because I found myself, I was, like, you know, I could be quite reactive. Annie: No. Jen: So I really worked on that secondary, that response, when your inner B. F. F. comes in and it’s like “Whoa, chill out, girl.” Annie: Yeah, I dig that. Jen: What about this? Annie: Yeah. Jen: So then I would find, you know, I think it was 2016, I worked really hard on it and I’m much better at keeping my reactions under control and responding. Annie: Well, I’ll be interested, maybe a little bit later you can tell us about why that was so successful versus other attempts. But before we get any further, really, today we just want to discuss, I have 3 main reasons that we see resolutions kind of fall flat and I want to be clear that we are not anti resolutions, we’re not anti goals, we’re not anti action plans or whatever you want to tackle, resets, restarts, refreshes in the New Year because I’m totally one of those people that gets super excited about the idea of like a clean slate, like, that’s really, like, I love, like, a fresh start, going to start over. I get to do this. I’m going to do it right. It’s super exciting and super motivating but just the way in which people approach them and their expectations around resolutions are usually why they aren’t successful with them. Jen: Yeah we are pro, we want you to be successful. Annie: Yeah so we’re going to discuss 3 ways you can make your resolutions a little bit more successful because again, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with resolutions inherently, It’s more how we approach them and our expectations surrounding them. So let’s just dive right into it. The 1st one is that remember that you can set goals, create new habits, set intentions any time of the year, right? Like this is not something specific just to New Year’s Day or New Year’s Eve, you can do this February 1st, just the same as you can March 1st or May 15th, like whatever time you want to set new goals, you can make new goals and as I noted, I totally understand the excitement that comes when everyone else around you is doing the thing, right, and it’s contagious and I have severe FOMO, you know, fear of missing out so I feel this pressure like “Oh I want to do that, like, that’s really exciting, right?” Jen: Well, it can be like when you go shopping with your girlfriend and you only need one thing, like you need a pair of jeans and then you get in the store and your friends are like “I’m getting jeans. Oh, I also need earrings and look at this top, it’s so cute, and this coat” and then all of a sudden you’re like “Yeah, those things are so great. I should look at them too and I should get them too” and then all of a sudden you’re leaving the store with like 6 bags and you only want one pair of jeans, right? So during New Years, it’s just that you’re just surrounded by people changing all the things and you’re like “Well that is such a good idea, I need to address that in my life too. Oh and that would be great too and that too” and then all of a sudden you’ve got 10 New Year’s resolutions. Annie: And the power of suggestion, sorry, Lauren, go ahead. Lauren: I was going to say, well, even more than that for me is I would feel like I had to make a New Year’s resolution period, like even if I was not in a particular space in my life where I could handle a new goal or setting a New Year’s resolution, like, I had my daughter 5 years ago on December 1st and so it was like “Oh, I should make a New Year’s resolution” while I had an infant, you know, right, probably not the best time. Annie: Yes and I was just going to add to the power of suggestion is really, really strong around this year because Jen you’ve shared advertising budget numbers from the diet and the fitness industry, they spend a large percentage of their marketing budget this time of year. They are pushing, pushing, pushing- Jen: Yeah, the first few months of the year, the 1st quarter. I can’t remember what the numbers are, I’ve shared them on a past podcast but it’s like 65 percent of their marketing budget is spent in the 1st couple months of the year. Because yeah, so it’s everywhere. Annie: So you’re really, really, you’re likely seeing it in magazines and commercials and newspapers, in bookstores and anywhere you’re going, essentially, to buy this product, buy this program, purchase this service, purchase this membership- Jen: Yeah, people have no idea, like, how much thought goes into marketing and so even, you’ll see, I noticed in my local bookstore that throughout the year when you walk in there’s different tables set up featuring, you know, new books or this all these books on this topic. Well, in December or January the diet table comes to the very front of the store so when you walk in it’s right there. Because they know, they know that that’s the time to be selling these books, to put them right in front of you, get you thinking about it, it makes you buy them. We like to think we’re so in control of our choices but we really are not. Annie: I was just going to say that because I know, Annie 10 years ago would have walked into Barnes and Noble or whatever this bookstore, saw the diet book and “it’s like they knew what I wanted,” like, yeah, how did I, like, you know, how did they know but really? Jen: If you don’t even think about the change, it’s like, this must have always been here. Annie: Right, it’s like, like, you know, it’s like, it’s, now we have Amazon ads popping up on our feed, you know, like Lauren, you just talked about how you were, posted about your standing desk. Lauren: Oh my gosh, yes, I got this standing desk which is amazing, I got it from Costco, I don’t know if it’ll still be here when this airs but I got it from Costco and I posted about it on my story and I had never seen an ad for a standing desk before and after I posted it on my story I was started seeing Instagram ads for this other standing desk and it freaked me out. Jen: Oh. There’s so many conspiracy theories around what Facebook and Instagram listen to and of course they deny, deny, deny but that happens to me all the time. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a friend about something, like, in person- Lauren: Yes. Jen: Then I’ll start seeing those ads on my feed. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: There’s a meme that it’s like, of course, if I had a dollar for every time I started a sentence with “There’s a meme” on Instagram that says “Oh, oh, that’s weird how this showed up on my feed when I didn’t talk to anyone about it, I didn’t type it, I didn’t search it, like, it’s, like, there in your brains, you know- Jen: You thought it. Annie: Yes, but anyways, it is, you know, it’s kind of like when you go to Target and your kids don’t want goldfish until they see the goldfish and then you know and it’s like “Now I can’t live without the goldfish.” Jen: And you have to and there’s also food, food companies have to pay more to get their products on the shelf at eye level. Lauren: Yes. Jen: Do you know I mean because they know it leads to you choosing it more so they make a deal with, you know, whatever supermarket chain and they pay a fee to have their product at eye level, like, you really, if you know what I mean, like, it’s just there’s so much of this that goes on that consumers aren’t aware of. Annie: Right, which we kind of went off on a tangent there and I think that would make a really great podcast about how the the science and psychology behind marketing and how it works the way it does, especially when it comes to health and wellness but the point here is that you can set these goals any time of year, so even though the bookstores are pushing it or you might feel like you’re seeing these messages to get these really brand new fresh goals around your health and your wellness. It seems like it’s everywhere. Remember that you can set these 6 months from now, 3 months from now, any time a year. You don’t have to feel pressure to do it on New Year’s Day. Jen: Yes and now that we have told everybody about it, you will start noticing it and you can be more critical about it and this is called media literacy and media literacy has been found to be one of the greatest tools in preventing disordered eating and body image issues. So pass it on. Annie: Pass it on. Stay woke, right? Jen: Stay woke. Annie: OK. Number two, remember your why. Ask yourself “Does this really matter to you?” when you’re setting your New Year’s resolutions because along the same lines of getting caught up, this can tend to be following the leader, kind of like Jen said when you’re shopping with your girlfriend and in my experience, what’s personally happened to me before is one girlfriend dinner is like “Oh yeah, I’m going to join this gym, I’m going to start this program, I’m going to start this diet” and the rest of us are like “Oh yeah, like, I guess that sounds good,” like, “That sounds good to me, I’ll do that too” or like “Guess I hadn’t really given it that much thought but she’s done the research. And she seems to think it’s a good idea so I’ll do it too” and if you listen to our Stages of Change podcast with our Balance365 Coach Melissa Parker, you’ll know that skipping stages like contemplation, where you’re thinking about doing a thing and preparation, where you’re making plans to do the thing, are actually really vital to your success and this is one of the reasons people- Jen: Not skipping stages. Annie: Sorry, yes, not skipping stages. It’s really vital to your success and this is one of the reasons that people can fall flat on New Year’s resolution time is because they join the gym, they buy the meal plan, they sign up for the challenge or whatever it is they’re doing without really considering “Does this even matter to me? Is this a good time in my life to do this? Is this reasonable to think that I can do whatever is required to make this goal happen?” Just like Lauren said, like, she just felt this pressure to make a resolution and it’s like “Hey, I just had a baby. Maybe now isn’t the time to be all in on whatever it is I’m wanting to do” and if you give it some reflection and you come up with like “No, this isn’t OK. This isn’t the time, this isn’t the thing I want. That’s OK. It doesn’t mean that you’re stuck wherever, you’re out forever. It just means that maybe you need to re-evaluate and get some clarity on what your goal is and how you’re going to get there. Jen: Yeah, it often is related to, I think, feelings of guilt around holiday eating as well so, I mean, that’s why the advertising is so successful, right, because they know you’re feeling bad about all the eating and sitting around you’re doing over the holidays and that becomes your motivation, right, which is shame-based motivation, which we also know through research that shame-based motivation is not lasting. Lauren: Yeah, and I’ll add too on this that this is why we actually added a section in Balance365 it’s called The Story of You and it helps you to uncover what your values are and what your core values are and so not only does that help you when you are making changes because when you make a change if it connects with one of your core values you’re more likely to stick to it but it also can weed out this extra stuff so you can think back “Well does this really support any of my core values?” and if it doesn’t you can feel a lot better of saying like “Oh, this isn’t for me, like, it’s good for them, it’s not good for me.” Jen: Right. Annie: And circling back to what Jen said about shame-based marketing, you know, I think in the past when I have started a new diet or a new exercise routine on New Year’s Day it has usually been to combat those feelings of shame and guilt about eating too much, missing the gym because I’ve been busier than normal, the weather’s been crummy, not enough daylight, you know, whatever fill in the blank and they know this. Lauren: Yeah, that was always me, like it comes right after the holidays, right, where everyone’s crazy busy, there’s treats everywhere. And it’s just like, it’s kind of like a perfect storm, right, everyone’s doing it, you feel crappy, the advertising is being pushed to you, so it comes together on January 1st. Jen: Yeah and it’s just it’s all part of that roller coaster, though, you could start if you zoom out a bit and start identifying trends so most people wouldn’t binge over Christmas if they weren’t dieting before Christmas. Lauren: Right, yeah. Jen: And most people wouldn’t diet before Christmas if they were bingeing at Thanksgiving. Lauren: And then you wouldn’t feel crappy, right? And wouldn’t be like “I need to do something.” Jen: Right, so the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas is also a very, very popular time to go on a diet so, you know, people go into the holiday, basically, diet to counteract their Thanksgiving bingeing and to prep themselves for Christmas. Someone just said the other day, told me a friend of theirs was working on losing 5 pounds in preparation for the holidays and I’m, you know, it’s funny kind of, but you’re also like, I just cringe and think, “Oh my gosh, like, you’re basically just announcing that you have an eating disorder and that you are starving yourself in preparation for being able to binge.” Lauren: Right and that just feeds right into the cycle. Jen: Yeah and then so you binge over Christmas and then you get back on that diet rollercoaster for January and then, you know, then you restrict, then you binge and then you’re restricting for your bikini season and then it’s just, it’s just wild. Annie: And most people are trying to stop that cycle in the binge, when they’re in the binge they want to pull all the way back to restriction which I totally get, like, that seems to be, like, “Well, duh, like, I, you know, I’m either all in or I’m all out, I’m on the wagon, I’m off the wagon,” like there’s just two extremes and our approach would be to just let that pendulum settle down in the middle like, don’t pull it so far back. Jen: Yeah, so Chastity, she’s in Balance365, she said the other day is that people want to stop bingeing but unfortunately they don’t want to stop restricting. However the solution to stop bingeing is to stop restricting as well. Lauren: Right. Jen: And people just really have a hard time wrapping their heads around that. Annie: Absolutely, I mean, it can be scary because it feels like you’re letting go of some of that control, especially if you’ve been dieting for years and that’s what you know, that a lot of women feel comfortable and in control when they’re dieting, even if they’re miserable, even if they’re white knuckling it. Lauren: I remember someone when we first started doing this had been dieting for years and years and she was terrified when we told her like stop counting your points, stop counting, like, just give yourself permission to eat and she was like “I will literally start eating and never stop.” Jen: I remember that too. Lauren: And like, spoiler, that didn’t happen and now she lives a free life and she doesn’t count and she’s happy with her progress but she was terrified, like there was a real fear for her. Jen: Right. Annie: So once again we went on a little tangent. Jen: As we do. Annie: I’m just looking at our outline, like “Remember your why” and now we’re talking about restriction and it’s all connected though, isn’t it? Jen: So remember your why. So remember that you don’t want to be on the diet roller coaster and that is your why for not jumping on board a new diet in January. Annie: Well and why am I doing this again, if I am being honest and years past it would have been to try to avoid or to remove some of those feelings of guilt and shame, so it’s like “OK, I’m just going to try to regain all of my control by doing all the things and doing them perfectly” and you know, again, it just, what that does is eventually perpetuates the cycle of this diet cycle. Jen: Yeah, an alternative to feeling guilty is to say “Wait a sec, I’m human and just like everybody else at Christmas, I indulge in the holiday foods and move along.” Annie: Yeah. Because the holiday foods are yummy. Jen: They are. Annie: They are yummy. And yeah and just cut yourself some slack, right? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: OK, so we covered the first two. A, you don’t have to make these New Year’s resolutions just this time of year, you can set goals or new intentions or create new habits any time of year, then you evaluate like “Does this really matter to me? Why am I doing this? What’s my purpose? What’s my mission behind this? What am I hoping to get out of this?” and then if you come to the conclusion that “I still want to move forward. I still want to make change” and your resolutions are around things like eating healthier, exercising more, drinking less, quitting smoking then we’re talking about changing habits which, shockingly, is something we’re pretty good at helping people do. Surprise! And Lauren you have some really good information about creating and changing habits, but essentially it boils down to you don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight because so often people go to bed on New Year’s Eve and they’re like, they set these plans and they’re going to wake up like a person with completely new habits on January 1st, like 12 hours later, new year, new me, right? Lauren: Right. That would be really nice. Annie: It would be great if it were just that simple, if all the change could happen. Jen: If worked, we would encourage it. Lauren: Yeah, right. Annie: Yeah, it’d be a heck of a lot quicker but will you share the statistics about why changing too many things at once isn’t likely to bode well for you? Lauren: Yes, so we share this all the time, actually but I find that it’s so eye-opening for people is that studies show that if you want to change a habit and you change one small thing and only that thing you have about an 80 percent chance of sticking with that change long term, which is actually really good for percentages. If you try and change too things at the same time your success rate of sticking with both of those things drops down to about 30 percent and then 3 or more changes at the same time your success rate drops to almost 0 sticking with all those changes and then the more things you add on, the less and less your success rate will be. Annie: That’s not very promising to change a lot of things at once is it. Lauren: No, so not only do you not have to, you shouldn’t if you care about sticking with it, right? Annie: Yes, so when you think about someone that wakes up New Year’s Day and is like I’m going to change all 3 of my meals, plus my snacks, plus my sleep habits, plus my water and alcohol consumption, now I’m also going to add going into the gym 5-6 times a week, that is so many behaviors that it takes to change, I mean we’re talking about, like, let’s take a look at a meal, like, what does it take to change a meal, like, it could change what you put on your plate, how you prepare your food, what kind of foods you’re buying at the grocery store, it might require, do you even go to the grocery store in the first place versus eating out, I mean, and those are the little steps that take to build a really great solid habit that so many people overlook. They just think “I’m just going to start eating a balanced breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow, all the time, forever and ever amen.” Lauren: And our brains just don’t work like that. It’s just the way we’re wired and you know, we, like our brains, like consistency and constants and so it’s not going to bode well for you if you try and change everything all at the same time. Jen: I don’t even like going somewhere new in the grocery store, like a new aisle. Like when I when I’m looking at recipes and there’s just some whacko ingredient, you know, that either you can’t find in a regular supermarket or I’ve just never seen that before I’m like, “Next!” Like, I just really resist. Yeah. Annie: I think, yeah, I mean, obviously when it comes to cooking I’m the same way. I see it is a recipe with more than like four ingredients and I’m like “No, I’m out.” Lauren: Thank you, next. Jen: Yeah, I know as far as our plans on expanding our our recipe collection on our website and just looking at, like, when we had a woman making recipes for us this fall and the first couple she sent me I was like, “Listen, like chickpea flour is just not going to fly.” Lauren: I feel like we should have a test where like if Annie, Lauren and Jen can’t make it it doesn’t get put out there and we would be like, “Pizza. Quesadillas. Chicken.” Jen: Yeah yeah and so it’s like, I remember I would go all in like back in my dieting days on making things like cauliflower pizza crust. Lauren: Yes I would take so long to make meals and they would always taste like crap. Jen: Yeah and so but then it’s like, you know, five years later, we’re just having pizza, like just regular crust and it’s way better. Lauren: Like, it’s fine. Jen: It’s like all those steps, right, like all those steps to make, to just get in the habit of making these healthy pizza crusts and yeah just really makes no difference. Annie: And now, yeah, I feel good just throwing some veggies and some fruit and some extra protein on my Jack’s frozen pizza. Jen: Yeah, like, I’ll just have a side of cauliflower with my regular pizza. Instead of trying to work it into the crust. Annie: I really like how you say cauliflower. Lauren: Cauliflower. Annie: Anyways, yeah, but truly I think people really underestimate how much energy is required to change just one habit and it’s definitely a slower process but what we hear from women in our community that are working through our program is that it feels effortless, they’re not white knuckling through all these changes and just like, “Oh my gosh, I hope I can do this. I just need to do this for a little bit longer before it comes automatic.” They’re like, actually, they’re kind of like looking around like “Is this really all I’m doing? Like, this is all you want me to focus on?” and we’re like “Yeah, actually.” Jen: Just this one thing. Annie: That is. Jen: Yeah. Annie: And if you’re talking about changing existing habits, which that comes up a lot around New Years resolutions too is the best way to change an existing habit is to replace it with a new one and Lauren and I have a pretty good podcast, actually two podcasts on how habits are built, like Habits 101, and then how to change or break bad habits, so if you want more information on the science and the process behind habit building and breaking bad habits, I would highly encourage you to listen to those because, I mean, I think we give some pretty good tidbits. Lauren: It’s pretty good. Annie: I mean, it’s alright. And the other thing I want to add onto that too in terms of habit changing and going a little bit slower is to discuss the difference between outcome-based goals and behavior-based goals because so often, again, resolutions seem to be outcome-based goals. I want to lose 10 pounds. I want to run a 5K. I want to compete in this challenge or whatever and it doesn’t really address the behaviors, like, OK, how are you actually going to do that? What actions are you going to take to lose 10 pounds? Like I’m not poo-pooing weight loss as a resolution goal, your body, your choice. But how are you going to lose that 10 pounds? It might be I’m going to start exercising on Monday, Wednesday, Friday for 30 minutes or I’m going to replace, you know, X, Y, Z with vegetables on my plate or I’m going to increase protein or you know, whatever that looks like, we would encourage you to write your goals based off of your behaviors, not the outcome you want, because so often if you take care of the behaviors, which we have more control over, the outcome will just naturally be a byproduct of it and so often I see women doing all the right things and they don’t get the outcome they want and then they feel like a failure, you know, they’re making all these great changes. Especially when it comes to weight loss. We’ve seen women work their butts off to try to lose weight, you know, they’re maybe exercising more, they are addressing their self talk, they’re getting more sleep, they are cutting back on sugary drinks or alcoholic drinks or whatever that is they’re working on and they step on the scale and they’re down 3 pounds instead of the desired 10 pounds and all of a sudden they feel like they’ve failed. Lauren: Right. Jen: When they’ve actually succeeded in all these areas of life that a lot of people struggle to succeed in and it’s huge, it’s a huge big deal. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Yeah, when really if you just zoom out and it’s like “Oh my gosh, look at all this great change I’ve made, I’m feeling better I’m taking better care of my body or you know, whatever it is, fill in the blank, that we just tend to lose sight of that when our goals are outcome based. Lauren: Also when they step on the scale and they see that, that they haven’t lost as much as they had hoped, they also a lot of times will be like “Well, what’s the point, right ?” and then they don’t continue doing those behaviors and it’s the continuation and consistency of those behaviors that’s going to lead to possibly them reaching their goal, right? Annie: Yeah, so the easiest way to turn your outcome based goal, if that’s what you were thinking about before listening to podcast, into a behavior based goal is to just ask yourself “How am I going to achieve that? How am I going to run a 5K? How am I going to run a marathon? How am I going to lose 10 pounds? How am I gonna?” Jen: Yeah. Annie: You know, like and then usually that how, that’s the behavior. Jen: Yeah and then realize that that outcome goal you have actually could be made up of a series of behavior changes that need to happen one at a time, therefore it may not happen as quickly as you like, which is OK. Life is long. Annie: Yeah, it’s the tortoise and the hare, right? Jen: It’s a journey. Annie: Yeah, as cheesy as that sounds, people are probably like, “Oh, come on.” Jen: It’s a journey. Lauren: Zen Jen over there. Jen: I know. Annie: Enjoy the process. Jen: Gandhi. Annie: We need one of those successory memes. You know, popular in the nineties. OK, well those are the three main points I wanted to discuss when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. Is there anything you two would like to add? Lauren: I don’t think so. Annie: OK, let’s do a quick review. First of all, before you set your New Year’s resolutions remember that you can set these new goals, create new habits, set new intentions, you can have a clean slate any time of the year. I totally understand that it’s super enticing to have like new year, new me but you can do this on May 1st just as easily as you can January 1st. The second one is to remember your, why does this really matter to you? Are you just doing this because your girlfriends are doing this or because marketing is telling you to do this or is this something that you really desire and then on top of that are you willing to do what it takes to make that happen and sometimes the answer is no, like Lauren said, you know, she really maybe wanted some of the things she wanted after having Elliott but it just wasn’t, the timing wasn’t good and honoring that, and being like, “Hey, I can just put that on the back burner and wait a little bit to start that until I’m ready to make those changes and I’m able to make those changes and stick with them” is absolutely, that’s an OK answer. Jen: I know you always say, Annie, there is more than two options, it’s not always “yes” and “no”, there’s a third option which is “later.” Annie: I would love to take credit for that but that’s actually Lauren. Jen: Oh, I’m sorry, Lauren. Lauren: Yes. Annie: Yes. I was like, as soon as you said that I was like “Oh, I really wanted credit for it because it’s good, it’s good advice, but I’m going to be honest, that’s Lauren’s advice.” Yes, later is always an option which I think is, that’s goes back to your maturity about responding, Jen, versus reacting, you know, so many people can get reactive during New Year’s resolutions like they feel compelled to do something just because everyone else is doing them and it’s like, if you just have pause, like think like “Do I want this? Was I considering this before I heard Susan over here talking about her weight loss? Like. Jen: I always think of my inner BFF like she’s, she just like, she comes to me in that first second I react and then give it 20 seconds and my inner B.F.F. is sitting beside me like “Hey, girlfriend. Calm down.” Annie: That first voice in me though, she can be really kind of grumpy sometimes. Jen: She’s my naughty friend. She’s naughty. Annie: Let’s do it! Yeah! Is this is code for Annie and Lauren? Jen: There’s Annie and then there’s Lauren. Annie: Annie is like shoving you into the mosh pit at a concert, like “You can do it!” and Lauren’s like, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jen: Let’s stay safe back here. Annie: Both are needed sometimes, OK? And the last point we just discussed today was that you don’t have to overhaul your life in one night, that to think that you’re going to go to bed on December 31st and wake up 8 hours later a completely different person doesn’t usually happen for people and that’s not, that’s not because you lack willpower or motivation or determination or discipline, that’s just the way behavior change works and it takes time and slowing down the process to focus one thing until that becomes automatic and then layering on brick by brick is usually the best place to start and we have a saying too that we stole from James Clear that “Rome wasn’t built in a day but they were laying bricks often” Lauren: We changed it to make it our own. What’s our new one? Beyonce wasn’t built in a day. Jen: Beyonce wasn’t built in a day. Annie: Beyonce also wasn’t built in a day. So if you could just lay a brick, you know, if you have these big goals 2019, 2020, 2021, start with a brick, really and lay your strong foundations, good solid habits, one by one and you’ll get there eventually and hopefully you’ll wake up one day and you’ll have this big beautiful Coliseum and you’ll be like “Oh, that was easy.” Jen: Exactly. Exactly. That really is how it happens. Annie: Yeah and I know that’s probably sounds a little bit ridiculous or a little bit too good to be true but you need to be able to play the long game for behavior change, you have to have big picture and patience which, I’m saying that to myself right now. I’m talking in a mirror. And yeah, hopefully this helps people build some better resolutions. I would love to hear what people are working on. So if you are working on something for the new year and you want to talk about it, please join our Facebook group, it’s, we’re Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. We have 40,000 women in our private Facebook group and if you need a place for safe support, reasonable advice and moderation, this is your place to go. Jen: I got a huge compliment yesterday. I was at a cookie exchange with 10 women and not many people know about my our company locally where I live and actually a couple women from my community just joined and the one woman said to me yesterday “Your group is the first place I’ve ever found that actually promotes you giving yourself grace.” Lauren: Aww. Annie: Can we like get a testimonial from her? Jen: I’ll ask her. She’s in Balance365 now. Annie: Oh that’s wonderful. Jen: She would be happy to. Anne: Yeah, I think it’s a pretty sweet place. We have amazing women, it’s really, it’s not it’s not us, it’s our community that’s made it such an amazing place to be, they provide support, applause and encouragement and tough love sometimes when it’s needed. It’s a great place to be, so find us on Facebook at Healthy Habits Happy moms You can also tag us on social media on Instagram and show us what you’re working on, show us your more reasonable New Year’s resolutions. Jen: Yes. Lauren: Yeah, I like that. Annie: Yeah, me too. OK, anything to add? Jen: No. Lauren: No. Annie: We’re good to go? Alright, well, we’ll talk soon, OK? Lauren: Bye. Jen: Bye. The post Episode 46: 3 Ways To Improve Your New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Balance365.

The holiday season can be tough, with so many opportunities for unwelcome commentary on our bodies, diets and exercise routines from well-meaning relatives. What’s worse, our kids are exposed to it too. Jen, Annie and Lauren get together and discuss how to set boundaries this holiday season so you can enjoy your family time together, free from the discomfort of unwanted opinions and negativity. Learn how to be the change you want to see in the world and find peace among the chaos of diet culture. What you’ll hear in this episode: The damage of body shaming discussion on children The normalization of negative weight related discussions and body judgments in popular culture Reasons to set boundaries around negative body talk around your kids A comparison of the diet industry and tobacco industry’s tactics to normalize something that is damaging Statistics around the prevalence of disordered eating What is your grocery checkout stocked with? Preparing your kids for the road How to set boundaries in a clear, kind-hearted, non-confrontational way How negative body talk is like second hand smoke The role of media literacy in filtering negative messaging Prevalence of weight loss advertising and negative media messages What to do when you don’t feel comfortable setting a boundary Getting curious about where people are coming from with body commentary The discomfort of change Talking to our kids about the diet industry, body image and media messages Raising critical thinkers Free To Be Talks Workshops Effecting change at the individual and community level   Resources: The Habit That’s as Toxic to Children as Smoking Five Stages of Behavior Change Episode 13: How Your Body Image Impacts Your Children with Hillary McBride Free To Be Talks Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Thanks for joining us here on Balance365 Life Radio, I am really excited about this episode and we actually jumped this topic to the head of the line because we felt it was just that important, especially this time of year. Today Lauren, Jen and I discuss the importance of setting boundaries with your friends and your family as it pertains to discussions about bodies and behaviors. Women’s appearance, exercise routines and eating habits seem to be free game and constantly open for discussion and debate. Conversations about who’s gained weight, who’s lost weight, how Aunt Jan has given up carbs or the latest supermodel that got her body back so quickly after baby number 3 can unfortunately be heard across the globe. After working with thousands of women, we know that with the holiday season many of us might find ourselves on the receiving end or at the very least, within earshot of comments of this nature. This unwelcome commentary can be shocking, infuriating but most importantly, it can be really harmful, especially to the little eyes and ears that are watching and listening. On this episode, we dive into the importance of women and mothers setting boundaries around diet talk and body shaming, share ideas on how to respond and address these comments if and when they happen and finally, how to help you and your children process those same situations. As always our free private Facebook group can be a great space to continue the discussion if you so wish, you can find us on Facebook at Healthy Habits Happy moms. We’ll see you on the inside. Lauren and Jen, we are all three together, it’s been a while. Lauren: Hi! Annie: You’re just here for the party, we know, Lauren and Jen, how are you? Jen: Good, I really missed recording with you guys. I was away and you did like 3 episodes without me. Annie: I know, you you were on a little family vacation. Jen: Yeah. Annie: Looked fun, we missed you though. Jen: Yeah, I missed you guys too but it was like my first holiday in, with my kids, in years so it was a lot of fun and I have to say, for the parents listening that it is a whole different world to go on holidays with children who are 5-6 and 9 than babies and toddlers. Lauren: That’s really good to hear. Annie: So there’s hope. Jen: Oh yeah, well it just got, for us, it got to a point where I was like “We aren’t traveling anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t take 3 car seats and a double stroller and a diaper bag on every holiday. It’s too… I might as well just stay home because it’s more stressful on holiday.” So now it was just surreal to just be sitting back and watching my kids handle themselves, like carry backpacks and yeah and just like not have myself loaded down, you know, like, I just had a backpack too. It was amazing. Annie: I heard a comparison made that there’s a difference between vacation and trips and you take a trip with your family. It’s not, it doesn’t always feel like a vacation, it’s sometimes a lot of work. Jen: The other thing when you have little babies and toddlers is we would always do like AirBNB apartments because we just felt like we needed the space and with kids getting up in the night we, you know, we just needed like different rooms etc and but that meant that we were also cooking and cleaning up after ourselves on “holidays” too and I would sometimes be like “Why did we leave home? Like, I just feel like I’m in the kitchen all the time.” So on this trip we only stayed in hotels and we ate out for every meal and I can’t even tell you how great that was too to not cook for 10 days. It was amazing. Annie: Yeah that sounds really nice and the weather looked so nice. Jen: Yeah, it was beautiful. Annie: Yeah, but we’re happy to have you back- Jen: Thank you. Annie: Because we have a really good topic and I think it’s going to be best addressed and best covered with all three of us on board and this is actually kind of a combination of two topics that we’ve discussed either in a podcast or a blog post that we kind of married together and we actually are doing kind of a last-minute recording because we wanted to squeeze this topic in before the holidays because what comes up so frequently in our community, which if you’re not a part of it,it’s Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook, over 40,000 women, it’s a great place to continue the discussion, ask questions get support if you need it but something that comes up in our community often is how to respond to comments about your body or behaviors and how then to set boundaries with family members and with it being the holiday season, it seems like we’re exposed to so many more opportunities to have those comments thrown at us, right? And it’s a really common experience with women in our communities that are our bodies and our behaviors, what’s on our plate, how we are exercising, how we’re talking, how we look, always seem to be free game for discussion and debate and it’s really regardless of your body shape and size because prior to this, when we covered it in a podcast the first time, I did a poll in our community and women of all shapes and sizes has experienced comments and remarks like this and it can not only be shocking but infuriating and they can also be harmful to everyone within earshot, right? Jen: Right. Annie: and Jen, you made, it was, we’re approaching the two year anniversary of the blog post that you wrote that was amazing and it’s still on our blog today, but you made an amazing analogy of the harmful effects of body shaming, disordered eating behaviors, negative body talk as it relates to smoking, can you share a little bit about that? Jen: Yeah, first of all, it’s wild, two years ago. Annie: I know. Jen: And so we are talking about the same things, which is great, we hope it’s sinking in, two years later, so I am the analogy queen in our community and I find that sometimes drawing parallels in other areas of life is what really gets the stuff to stick with women and the other thing, when we talk about disordered eating, I just want everybody to know that in, like, eating disorder, I guess, literature and circles, dieting is considered under the realm of disordered eating, so dieting is disordered eating, so when you are talking about dieting around the Christmas dinner table or Thanksgiving dinner table, you’re actually talking about disordered eating, your disordered eating behaviors and 100 years ago it might have been shocking that somebody would would speak up at dinner to say that they’re purposely starving themselves or cutting out carbs but over the years, it’s become normalized, so it’s part of our normal conversation to discuss these things. So what I compared it to in this blog post was that at one point, smoking indoors used to be completely normal. My step mom talks about how she had my older sister in hospital and they whisked the baby away after and the first thing she did was light up a cigarette in the hospital. And everybody had an ashtray right beside their hospital bed and so this was about 40 years ago. Today, that would never fly. So the damaging health effects of smoking and secondhand smoking is well researched, we know the effects, smoking is banned in public spaces, we keep it away from children. I don’t know what the rules are down there but in Canada, it’s illegal to smoke cigarettes inside of a vehicle if you have anyone in the car that’s under 16. And we have family members who smoke and I don’t think they would dream of smoking inside my house, however if they came over and tried, I would immediately, I would have, you know, no issue with saying “Oh, can you please take that outside, this is a smoke free home.” So the parallel I drew is that we also know the effects of discussing bodies and disordered eating. We know that they have serious long term effects to your own personal health but also to the little ears or the children in the room listening to all of this and setting a boundary with friends and family around smoking is probably not a problem for anyone listening, however it still feels extremely uncomfortable to set this boundary around talking about weight, bodies, disordered eating, dieting but if you really put that into context, “Hey, we know this is extremely harmful.” And if you’re having trouble setting the boundary for yourself, just really think, like, now is the time that you need to step up for your kids and say “Hey, no this is not OK to discuss around our kids. If you want to talk to me about this later, that’s fine but you know, there’s little ears in the room.” Annie: And oftentimes, you know, the difference here is that unlike smoking, many people aren’t aware just yet of the harmful consequences of this type of talk and how contagious it is and how detrimental it can be to the eyes and ears that are watching and listening and I think if people knew, which is part of our mission, right, to draw attention to the negative consequences of dieting and body shaming and weight talk, if people knew like they know the harmful effects of smoking, you know, maybe they would be changing the conversation. Lauren: Yeah. Jen: Absolutely, so it’s sort of like, in the “olden days” they talk about how the big tobacco companies went to great lengths to hide the negative, they knew what the negative effects of smoking were and they went to great lengths to try and sort of cover that up and they were lobbying government et cetera, et cetera, they would have doctors as their spokespeople saying smoking was safe and that, basically, is happening today with diet companies. You have, you know, huge diet companies, they have crazy popular spokeswomen or spokespeople, I should say, fronting their brand but the research hasn’t caught up with the public yet. It’s not common knowledge yet so, but we know, it is well researched, we have decades and decades of research about how harmful dieting is, how harmful body shaming is especially for children. Like, body based teasing is one of the biggest contributors to future disordered eating/eating disorders. So the other thing is that I think I feel like awareness around mental health is just coming to the forefront, I guess, where in years gone past we haven’t talked about mental health as much. The focus really has been on physical health. And now we’re starting to see more talk of mental health and taking care of our mental health and what that means for people but I don’t think talking about mental health is as widely accepted yet either, so it’s quite a big conversation. This podcast, what we wanted to cover and talk about in just sort of bring to people’s consciousness is it’s OK to set boundaries in your home around what you expose your children to. Annie: Right, because it’s, you know, essentially in that blog post, which we can link in the show notes, along with all the research or just a handful of the research that we’ve looked at and essentially, you know, kind of compares it to being trapped in a smoky room, you know. Jen: Right. Annie: When, you know, when you are filling your home over the holidays or your environment with that sort of talk, I mean, it’s, the parallel is there, right? And it’s not it’s not one time that’s going to make or break but it’s that constant exposure, the fact that they don’t have a place to process this, that they can’t escape, that they don’t have an alternative, that there’s no discussion about, you know, the consequences and why you would do this or that, like that’s really what we want to begin to bring to light, right? Jen: Yeah and children are listening, like they want to listen, right? I catch my oldest son, he’s 9, I see him all the time, I can just see him, he’s paying attention to what the adults are talking about, he wants to know, he’s interested, he’s learning how to be an adult, right? And so this is something that we pretty much hand down to our children as acceptable and OK. So what we see today and we see this a lot in our Facebook group and just on social media in general, you hear a lot of women talking about, or sharing stories of somebody commenting about their body and how offended they are, whether somebody asks them if they’re expecting or if they’ve lost weight or what diet they’re on and women are saying, “Hey!” You know, they’re starting to notice, people comment on our bodies all the time but this is learned behavior, right, this isn’t some evil person, you know, or mean-spirited person popping out and just body shaming. It’s learned behavior. We make it acceptable at an early age so anybody who’s making those comments today probably grew up in an environment where it was absolutely OK and I think we’re still in that environment. If you are checking out at the grocery store and it’s full of trashy magazines around you, you’ll see that, we have, it’s open season on women’s bodies and men’s to a degree. You might have a National Enquirer there talking about whose, which celebrities have “let themselves go”, what weight this celebrity is, what weight that celebrity is, who has “gotten their body back after baby”, you know, the quickest. It is open season and that’s the kind of stuff that goes on around us that might not even be, you know, in our consciousness, right, so if you start paying attention, you’ll see it’s not just happening around the dinner table at Christmas, it’s happening everywhere and at some point you need to step up and say “Hey this is not OK” and you need to go to your children and say “This is not OK. This is not what our family values and just because, you know, Uncle Ted, you know, talks about women’s bodies that way, it is absolutely not OK” and you need to set that boundary with Uncle Ted or whoever your uncle is or Aunt, and let them know that’s not OK and if that has to happen in front of your kids, all the better. Annie: I just want to circle back, just in case people aren’t familiar with some of the statistics out there that I feel like we share frequently but you can never hear these enough, in my opinion but I think as you said the research is out there, it’s our kids are listening and some of the statistics about it are just shocking, I mean as it pertains to adult women, approximately half of women engage in disordered eating and risky dieting practices, including one 3rd of women report purging. Jen: Right. Annie: 75 percent of women report that their weight interferes with their happiness, which, I’ve been there, that’s been me at various points in my life. A study of 5 year old girls, a significant proportion of girls associate diet with food restriction and weight loss and thinness, like, how do they know this? Where are they learning this? Jen: Right. Absolutely. Annie: 37 percent of girls in grade 9 and 40 percent in grade 10 perceive themselves as too fat, again, where are they learning this? Why do they think that? More than half of the girls and a third of the boys engage in unhealthy weight control behaviors, for example, fasting, vomiting, laxatives skipping meals or smoking to control their appetite. Again, like, they’re listening, they’re watching, they’re observing. Jen: Absolutely. Lauren: Mhmm. Jen: And by the time a girl is 17 to 18 years old, that stat is up to 80 percent, so 80 percent of 17 and 18 year old girls believe they need to lose weight, like these aren’t like, you know, these aren’t like, outliers. This is the majority of our population and again, this is all learned behavior. Annie: Righ. And it’s, you know, we have a little bit of control over here and that’s why we’re in the business that we’re in because it’s not just enough for the three of us to parent our kids, like we need everyone on board to really make a really big impact. Jen: Absolutely. Annie: So that’s the part of our mission, to like, create this big wave, this ripple effect, like everyone’s on board and everyone’s promoting healthy balance lifestyles without all this other unnecessary, unhealthy behavior. Jen: Totally, I look at my local supermarket and the changes that they’ve made to have a healthier physical environment for my children so when I take them shopping there are, they’re called, like “junk food free aisles” so that you don’t have to deal with, like, your kid seeing the treats and wanting, you know, asking for treats so you can choose to go down those check outs instead of the ones that are lined with candy and also, in my local supermarket, they have a basket of fruits and vegetables for kids to just take for free to eat while you’re shopping and so I think “Wow, look at these changes they’ve made for our children’s physical health, right, taking away the less nutritious food and offering more nutritious food. So now let’s take it a step further and how can they support my child’s mental health?” So it’s one thing to have an aisle that’s free of junk food, but now I have to take my kids down this aisle that is instead stocked with magazines full of body shaming and my kids can read now and so I’m going, which is worse? You’ve taken away the junk food, you’ve replaced it with this basically, junk for your brain. Annie: Right. Jen: Essentially, yes. Annie: But, you know, as we said, I remember when you wrote this blog post and you and I had this conversation and I think we came across the saying “Prepare your kids for the road, not the road for your kids” because this is unfortunately part of our culture, you’re going to be outside of your bubble, especially in the holiday season or you know, even as summer approaches, you know and more skin is shown and you’re at barbecues or you know, year round, it happens, you’re going to be outside of your little bubble, inside of our community it’s like, this stuff doesn’t happen, right? Lauren: Right. Jen: Right. Annie: But when we leave our homes it’s like, or we go to the grocery store, it’s like “Oh my gosh, it really is everywhere.” It’s going to happen. So what do you do when it happens? You set a boundary. You can set a boundary and as you said, it can be so uncomfortable to think about setting a boundary for yourself and speaking up for yourself, but if you put it in terms of like, “I’m standing up for my kid” then it’s like- Jen: Totally. Annie: As a mother it’s like, “Oh”, it becomes so much easier, right? Jen: Yes, then it’s like “Roar!” Annie: Mama Bear, right? Mama lion. Jen: Exactly. Annie: Yeah, so, you know, setting boundaries, let’s talk about how to do that because it can be uncomfortable. It can be scary but I think you, in that blog post again, you gave a couple very concise, clear, non-confrontive, kind-hearted responses and I think you could just put these in your back pocket, you can put your own twist on them. The first one is “Hey, I understand that you’re struggling with your eating behaviors right now, can we save this conversation for when little ears aren’t around?” and I think that’s perfect, you know, so I picture myself at the buffet table, you know, and my Aunt Jan’s putting stuff on her plate saying “I shouldn’t have this many carbs and I’m just so excited to eat this and I’ll just have to work it off afterwards and it’s going to go straight to my butt” and you know, like that sort of talk. Jen: Yeah, total disordered talk. Annie: Right. Jen: Totally normalized in our culture. Annie: Oh yeah, like, I mean, 4 years ago I probably would have been like “Ahahaha!” Jen: Right. Annie: Now I’m like “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!” Jen: Yes. Annie: “Could we save that conversation for when little ears aren’t around” and it’s, the three of us have had this conversation so many times, we feel very comfortable being like “Yeah, I’d be happy to talk with you about how to balance your meals, more sustainable practices for your health and wellness and how that talk isn’t really serving you, like we could talk that all day.” Some of our listeners might not be willing or interested in having that conversation, that’s totally cool too, but I think that just acknowledging little ears are listening and we’re just going to zip it, right now, right? Jen: Yeah, like if somebody, I mean, I know we all probably swear a little bit but if somebody like came roaring into the kitchen and was just like dropping F bombs every second word and your kids are sitting there you might be like, ” Hey, there’s little ears here, maybe we could cut that back” Except Annie’s giggling, because she’s like, “No.” Annie: Yeah, yeah. Jen: Don’t tell me how to talk. Lauren: Well, Jen, I think the second hand smoke analogy was so, so good because I’d like to coin the term now “secondhand dieting” because like, that’s basically what it is and if you’ve listened to the podcast you’ll know I started dieting when I was 12. Jen: Right. Lauren: And it’s because secondhand dieting was constant. It was a constant topic of conversation in my family, especially on one side compared to the other, but it was it was constant and I would never, you know, blame my family for any of that, everyone’s, as we know, we’re doing our best, no one’s doing it on purpose, but it’s how, it’s how, like, my grandma’s generation and my mom’s generation was raised. Jen: Absolutely. Lauren: And they didn’t know any better, just like before we don’t know any better about smoking. Jen: Right. Lauren: And so when I think back to that, like, I would sing the Jenny Craig song like- Jen: Oh my goodness. Lauren: Like I knew the Jenny Craig song, right? Jen: Let’s hear it, Lauren. Lauren: 1-800-Jenny-20. That’s all I remember but like I would sing it and I just cringe now thinking about all the stuff I listened to and that’s kind of what I draw from, if I ever have to set that boundary for my kids, like my daughter just turned 5 so I’m at the point now where it’s going to, I’m going to have to be more intentional and more careful about it moving forward and if you’ve listened to the podcast you’ll know last year we already had like our 1st incident with that at preschool, talking about, you know, good food versus bad food and I had to start that there earlier than I even thought I would, but at this point going forward, it just gets, you have to be more and more intentional about it. Jen: And it’s everywhere so as Annie had mentioned before, like you can’t, you can, media literacy is one of the most powerful tools in this sort of disordered eating/negative body image crisis we are in with our children and I can’t always be there to filter for my kids but I can teach them how to filter, right? Lauren: Right. Jen: And so one thing I noticed, we haven’t had cable for years and last Christmas we were up at the ski hill here where we live and we were staying there over the Christmas period, staying at a hotel and we would watch T.V. in the evenings and I was shocked at how many diet commercials came on what we’re watching T.V. and I probably wouldn’t even have noticed this 5 years ago because it was just part of my life, it’s part of everybody’s lives, where now I’m so conscious of it and suddenly I’m going like “We are muting the T.V. during commercials because this is ridiculous.” Every single commercial break there was a Weight Watchers ad and just horrible toxic messaging. I remember just. in particular. one woman saying “I can eat whatever I want and still lose weight” and I was like, “Oh! My kids are taking this BS in.” Like, so then we started muting it during commercials because I just, I just do not, and I’m like, you know how kids are, they just, like, stare at a T.V. and they’re just zoned out, whether it’s the TV show or the commercial and I was just like, this is not something I want them hearing over and over and over every commercial break, it’s like, they’re like hypnotized by it, being brainwashed. Annie: And I think that goes back to, you know, just that awareness that you said before, Jen. Sometimes you don’t know how well prevalent it is until you start listening and you just, like that might just be your first step, you don’t have to take any action, maybe you don’t set a boundary this holiday season, maybe- Jen: Right. Annie: where you’re at is you’re just starting to pay attention and you create awareness and you know, you know how, like, when you’re pregnant or maybe you’re trying to get pregnant and all you see is pregnant women? Jen: Right. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Like, that’s what this is. Jen: Yeah it is. Annie: The power of suggestion. Once you see it, it’s everywhere. I mean, I swear, I tell people, like, “What do you do for a living?” “Oh, I’m a personal trainer” and it’s like, all of a sudden they go to confession. Jen: Right. Annie: It’s like, “Oh my gosh, I haven’t been to a gym in years, and I ate, oh my gosh, I need to get back and I need to do” and I’m like “It’s OK, I’m not, like, you don’t have to repent your sins to me.” Jen: Right, right. Annie: And it’s just, yeah, like it’s the magazine titles, it’s the conversations with your hairdresser when you’re getting your haircut, you know, the woman that’s evaluating your food at the grocery checkout line, like “Oh is this a good food? I heard this was healthy for you.” You know, it’s like, it’s just everywhere. Jen: You can’t, you have to be really, you have to be, and that’s why it’s so important to hand those tools off to your kids to be critical thinkers about it, right, so my son when we were on this holiday, we’re talking about at the start of the show, we were watching, again T.V. in the hotel room and this, we’re in San Diego, California and one thing I’ve noticed from previous trips to California is weight loss advertising is cranked up there compared to where I live in Canada, which might just be the culture of California, so it’s like, it’s on the radio, everywhere and I just found it, like, “Whoa! it’s definitely not as prevalent where I live” so the commercial that came on was like a freeze the fat thing, like, it’s like a, I don’t know if it’s like a liposuction procedure or whatever, it’s just a commercial and it came on and I was like “Here we go!” and my son was like, “This is ridiculous. It doesn’t even work.” I was like- Annie: Nice. Jen: Yeah! So you can, right, you can teach them and I try and just say to my kids like, you know, we obviously don’t shame people who are dieting or whatever, you have to be careful of that too, as well, but I just say, like, “You know that stuff doesn’t work and there’s a lot of companies out there who will take advantage of people who are struggling and with how they feel about themselves but you know this stuff does not work and there’s a lot of fake things that go on behind the scenes that trick you into believing it works but it doesn’t.” So, yeah. Annie: Well and to add to that, just as there are people in my life that I love dearly and I look up to in many ways, they also smoke. Jen: Right, absolutely. Annie: There’s a lot of great people that are also stuck in diet culture and body shame and weight talk and that doesn’t mean that they’re bad humans or they are terrible, you know, like I love them just as much and they don’t need shaming. Jen: No. Annie: You know, my mom smoked for years and I hated that element of her but I loved her, I hated that behavior, I should say, but I love her dearly. Jen: Well, you know, if you go back to our stages of change podcast where people are with smoking is OK, the awareness is there, it’s not good for you, the tough part with smoking is that it’s an addiction, right, so they are constantly and I mean, I think pretty much all smokers are in the cycle of change, most smokers are probably thinking of quitting all the freaking time, it’s just so difficult. Where, when it comes to dieting and disordered eating, there’s not an addiction there but if you’ve listened to previous podcasts about the diet cycle, it almost mimics one where you just can’t stop trying to diet, like, you just keep going back to it, you get stuck in that cycle but most dieters are not even, the awareness isn’t even there that this is something that is unhealthy for them and that they could even stop doing it. It’s just part of their everyday life, like, that’s what we do, we diet or we don’t diet, we’re on the wagon or we’re off the wagon and that’s what their whole life is, right? So when you are setting this boundary with people, just keep that in mind, like, this could be brand new information to them, it likely is, that this is, that your family doesn’t diet, your family doesn’t body shame, your family doesn’t sit around talking about your own weight or other people’s weight and it’s harmful. It’s harmful to you and it’s harmful to children to hear ,that will be brand new information. So if you decide to set that boundary, go gentle, as Annie said, you don’t have to set that boundary, that is an option, I would personally talk, if I was in a situation where I felt very uncomfortable setting that boundary, I would make sure to speak about, I would speak to my children about it later “Hey, you know, when Grandpa was saying this or that, like, just so you know ,that’s not what we believe in, that wasn’t accurate.” Annie: You’re jumping ahead a bit. Jen: Oh, I’m sorry. Annie: You just got so excited. No, I think that’s a great segue, just to circle back to setting boundaries, you know, like comments, if you need some actual statements, I always have a hard time putting words on my emotions and my feelings, so I like to have these one liners to put my back pocket that I can practice saying and it can be, you know, like I said before, “Can we save this conversation for when the kids aren’t around? My child can eat what he or she wants, eyes on your own plate, please. Can we change the subject? Simple as that and then as far as comments made to you about your own body or about someone else, whether they’re in the room or not, I mean, one of my personal training clients talks about how her father always comments about women in the media and their bodies. Jen: Right. Annie: Like it doesn’t matter because somehow they are immune because they can’t hear us and they’re celebrities and like they don’t count. Jen: Right. Annie: But it’s still worth addressing in my opinion but the first step is decide if you want to have that conversation or not. And sometimes you may not want to, it might be the wrong time, the wrong person, you don’t have the energy and in fact, Lauren and I remember you talking about a family member that you were just like, “This just isn’t a conversation I’m willing to have with her at this point in my life, in her life,” do you remember that? Lauren: Yeah, there’s a lot of my family members actually that I do not really speak about nutrition or whatever unless I’m asked and so as far as I go, it’s like a boundary unless I’m asked about it. Annie: Right. You know, and then the second option, I think, too is, if someone makes a comment to you, I think Jen, you gave this suggestion a couple times to be curious and just simply say, “Why do you ask that? Why do you say that? Can you tell me more? That’s interesting” and just see where they’re coming from and see where that goes because so often, you know, someone makes a comment to me and again, years ago, you know, 4 years ago Annie would have been like “Ugh!” and I would have been offended and embarrassed and ashamed and angry and infuriated but so often, like, that’s not usually how conversations, like, end well. Jen: Yeah, or “Why does, you know, why does that matter to you? Why is this relevant? How does that affect your life?” Annie: Yes, am I reacting this strongly because I’m worried that there’s some truth in what they’re saying, is this about my own body shame and my own negative weight talk and all that, you know, is this the baggage I’m carrying or is this theirs? And now I’m clearly, like, they make a comment about a body or my body and it’s like “What Susie says about Sally says more about Sally than Susie”, like they’re separate, like that’s on them and yeah, that has nothing to do with me. But decide if you want to have the conversation, then be curious, you know, I think that’s a great way to, if you’re not super confrontational, if you don’t want to be confrontational, like, “Why do you say that? Like, that’s interesting, why do you ask that?” and then find your voice. You know, Jen, I think we’ve talked about, like, you tend to be a little bit more like, “No, I don’t want to do that, like, we’re not going to talk about that, let’s change the subject” where I would be like, “Hey, look, squirrel! How about the Cubs?” like, you know, like something like just totally redirect or you could be super sincere and honest and say “I’m sure you’re coming from a place of love and you care but your comments are hurtful, your comments are alarming, they’re concerned, fill in the blank.” Jen: Or “I’m really uncomfortable discussing my body or other women’s bodies in a setting like this or period.” Annie: And you know what? It might get awkward. Jen: Yeah that’s the the thing but- Annie: It might get a little like- Jen: But change is uncomfortable, right? So, you know, we talk all the time on this podcast about needing a cultural shift or we hear it all the time on social media, society needs to change. Well, guess what? We are society and change is uncomfortable so this is going to be uncomfortable but it doesn’t have, discomfort doesn’t mean mean-spirited, discomfort doesn’t even necessarily mean confrontational, it just means uncomfortable and I think if women paid attention, they would actually see that there are many areas of our lives where women take on discomfort in order to not make the people around us uncomfortable and I’m at the point where I’m like, “Why? Why do I have to take on that discomfort all the time?” Annie: Yeah. And as we’ve said numerous times already on this episode, if you can’t find the courage to do that for yourself, maybe you can find the courage to do it for your kids. Jen: Absolutely. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: And if you’re not there yet, if you’re just like creating awareness and like, kind of getting your feet under you and kind of deciding what, like, where, how you feel about your body, where you stand, like, that’s really cool too, like this wasn’t an overnight process for the three of us. It’s not like we just jumped from 0 to 100 and now we’re, like, “Chop chop! Like, no, we’re not going to do that!” Like, this was like a, this is a process- Lauren: Definitely. Annie: Where we grew in our comfort to have these conversations. Jen: Is there time for me to share a quick personal story about just this as a reality? Annie: Yes. Jen: So this is based on my own history of very disordered eating and lots of weight talk with my sisters and the effects of that. So my kids are a bit younger and I’ve been able to be on the ball with them from a younger age which has been great. My sister’s children are older, my younger sister, my older sister’s children has children as well, but I’m speaking about my younger sister’s children and so her daughter at 9 years old, she came to me once I got to the house, she came to me and she had just sprouted up. And you know, different kids have different growth patterns but what with my nieces she kind of plumped out first and then she shot up. So what happened when she shot up is that her jean shorts became too big on her around the waist and it happened in just a matter of a couple of months so I get there one day and she comes up to me and she’s like “Auntie, look, Auntie, look!” and she was trying to show me the gap between her denim and her waist and I realized she’s trying to show me and basically bragging at validation and connect with me that she has lost weight and she’s 9 years old but I also was hit with this just feeling like I wanted to throw up, thinking of all the times I had shown up at their door to talk to my sister and the first thing out of my mouth was “I lost 5 pounds last week” or “I put on 5 pounds” or, and my sister’s oldest daughter had just grown up with her aunt, who she loves and admirers and looks up to so much, I’m pumping my own tires here but I’m pretty sure that’s how she feels about me. Annie: Naturally. Jen: She has grown up with that “cool auntie” speaking like that around her so of course she’s now coming to me at 9 years old and trying to connect with me over it the same way she sees her mother and me connecting and she’s just trying to be part of our crew and I was devastated and so not OK with it and so had to take a hard look at myself and go, “This is not OK .This is not OK that our family talks like this and I have been a big contributor to it and I will not do this anymore.” So that was about 5 years ago now, so very happy to see it going in the other direction and what my sister says now, because now we’re these empowered women fighting diet culture, she can’t believe that her daughters have gotten to the age they have and not talked about dieting with her yet, where my sister remembers dieting at a way younger age than even her girls have, so there’s hope, there’s hope here, right, we can make a huge impact. Annie: Absolutely and you know, I just had a little lunch talk a couple weeks ago and it was with a group of about 10 or 12 women, mostly moms and they cannot, they kept expressing concern about how to say the right thing, like, they’re so worried about saying the right thing when it comes to body talk and how we talk about how to take care of our bodies and how to respond when they’re talking about weight loss or how their body looks or they want to wear makeup or they want to wear certain types of clothes. They’re just so worried about saying the right thing that they sometimes don’t say anything at all. And I think, you know, when they were asking about what to do and how to approach this, the first thing that came to mind was what Hillary McBride and her Mothers Daughters and Body Image podcast which, if you haven’t, if this is a topic that concerns you, if you haven’t listened to that, please listen to that, but she pretty much hammers home that perfection, in this situation isn’t required, it’s intention and consistency that make the most difference and so you don’t have to say the right thing all the time. It’s really your intent to have the conversation behind it and just as I said, you can just be curious about when people make comments about your body you can just be curious about what your kids are saying, like, how does that feel when this happens? How do you feel about that? Did you enjoy that food? How’s your body feeling? How did you feel when Aunt Jan or Uncle Ted made that comment about me or about your body or when Gramma said that about your plate? Did you think about that at all? Like, it can just be as simple as that. Jen: The thing is if we talk about diet culture brainwashing children and us, we don’t want to be on the other end, brainwashing our kids, right? Like I want to raise critical thinkers and the way to do that, I think, is to ask them these questions and ask myself these questions and maybe and you can even process it together, right? Like that is totally OK. Annie: Yeah, but I think the key is, you know, is setting the boundaries when you’re ready and when you’re comfortable and then to keep having these conversations with your family members, with your community, with your kids, like, they’re hard conversations, they can be uncomfortable, it can be a lot of emotional ties and baggage that come along with some of these conversations but it’s worth it. It’s totally worth it and I just want to kind of wrap up by just acknowledging, again, that we’ve kind of touched on this but there’s work to be done kind of on sort of 2 levels here: at the individual level, you know, like our own selves deciding what our own biases, acknowledging those, creating awareness about our own behaviors, our own talk, you know, like, how many days, how many times a day do you talk about someone else’s body or are you reading about someone else’s body or are you listening to comments about someone else’s body? At one point in my life that consumed me. I talked about other people’s body all the time. Jen: Right or what articles are you clicking on where, you know, there’s those little like click baity ads at the bottom, “How this mom got her body back in 3 weeks” or “What this mom’s abs looked like at 4 weeks postpartum” and then the picture just like cleverly hides and you’re like, “I gotta click on this.” Lauren: That was me constantly reading about every single diet. Jen: Yeah, right, where now I just, you know, I know it’s all B.S. and I know the more we click on it, the more we are telling these marketers that we want to see more of it, right and they’ll just keep showing us more, so I’m like “Nope” and on Facebook when I see stuff like that I report it as inappropriate. Annie: So yeah, there’s definitely work to be done on an individual level, you know, our own behaviors, our shame, our conversations that we’re having and then at a community level, you know, and community can mean just in your own home, you know. That’s- Jen: Yeah, so speaking of that, I’ll just share what I’ve been up to since my holiday is that I just completed my Free To Be Talks facilitator training and I’m going to be teaching body image workshops in my children’s school and I am trained to be able to talk about this to kid boys and girls in grade 6, 7 and 8 and so that was me, that was on my vision board last year where, you know, we were doing all this work through Balance365 and I was like, “You know what? I really want to be out there in my community and I would love to start talking to children about this when they’re younger.” So I just did that training and that’s my way of contributing and being part of the conversation in my community and I would encourage anybody who is interested in that to to check out Free To Be Talks. It’s a nonprofit organization out of Vancouver, Canada but when I was on the training there was lots of women from the States on the training as well who will be doing this in their schools but you can and that’s a thing, like don’t, do not, you know, we read these stats to you guys and it’s shocking and you can sometimes feel powerless, like how can I even stop this? But you can and you can make a difference in your community and if all of us had that attitude, the change would come. Annie: I just get chills and for verklempt, like we could do this, guys,! Yes! Jen: Yes! Annie: I think that’s awesome, snaps for Jen. Jen: Thank you very much. Annie: Yeah, anything to add, Lauren? Anything you want to add before we wrap up? Lauren: No, I think you guys hit it all, I know I was just kind of a more quiet bystander, but you guys were just right in your groove and I think you guys hit it out of the park. I’ll just note that as someone who experienced secondhand dieting, and then the path that it led me down, that fuels me to be the change and not be afraid to stand up and say “Hey, this isn’t OK, we’re not going to talk about this.” Annie: Oh yeah, I think that’s, I mean, I don’t want to speak for you, Jen, but I think that’s why the three of us are in the business we’re in, we’re trying to be the change that we needed when we were younger. Jen: Yeah, totally. Lauren: Yes. Annie: Like, the voice, the message, the solution, the opportunity that we needed when we were younger and that’s, you know, how we are paying it forward, so to speak and I’m going to start crying so I’m going to stop talking. Yeah, so anyways, just to wrap up, when you’re out of your bubble this holiday season, moving into the new year, moving into summer, spring and summer, don’t be afraid to have a conversation. It doesn’t need to be confrontational, argumentative it could just be like “Hey, could we change the subject. I don’t want to talk about this when my kids are in earshot and you know, just start creating awareness and shifting the conversations that you’re having within your home and with your girlfriends and with your family can make a really, really big impact. To me, it’s, I picture waves of an ocean and you know, what one wave just kind of moves right into the other and it’s like, we just all connect to each other, eventually. Lauren: Yep. Annie: And if we’re all in the same page, if we’re all moving the same direction, we can make a really, really big impact on our own lives and more importantly, the lives of our kids so they don’t have to grow up in diet culture and negative body image and weight talk and all that junk. Jen: Yes, we do not have to normalize for them what was normalized for us. Annie: Alright, awkward ending. Lauren: As usual. Annie: You know what, that’s going to be on my topic, on my to do list today, so find a way to wrap up the podcast that’s not extremely awkward. Jen: That’s not like, “OK, bye!” Lauren: Okay, bye! Annie: No. But, alright, thanks guys. Lauren: Love you, bye! Annie: It was fun, kay, bye! Jen: Bye. Lauren: Bye. The post Setting Body Talk Boundaries Over The Holidays appeared first on Balance365.

Aaron Schmookler, Co-Founder and Trainer at The Yes Works, joins me, Jen Spencer to discuss collaboration, culture, the importance of building relationships and more on this episode of The Allbound Podcast. Jen: Welcome to The Allbound Podcast. I'm Jen Spencer, and today I'm joined by Aaron Schmookler, Co-Founder and Trainer at The Yes Works. Welcome, Aaron.   Aaron: Well, thank you, Jen. It's an honor to be here.   Jen: Well, I'm glad to have you. I've gotten to learn a little bit more about The Yes Works and I think that's a really good place to start. Would you mind just telling our listeners a little bit about The Yes Works?   Aaron: Sure, if I can take a page from Simon Sinek's book, I'll tell you why we exist. A little more than three years ago, my wife called me on the phone and she said, "I'm pregnant," and my relationship changed. And certainly, my relationship with her changed. But what I'm referring to is my relationship with the rest of the world changed and that actually changed a lot more profoundly. I started looking at everything in terms of, "How will this be for my daughter and how is that going to be for my daughter?" And one of the things that struck me the hardest is the work culture that we live in.   The TGIF bumper stickers and the "I Hate Monday" mugs and the fact that when you ask somebody how they're doing, a very common answer is, "I'll be better in an hour and a half when I get off work." It became immediately intolerable to me that we live in this culture where my daughter is more likely to find affinity with people when she enters the workforce by hating work, rather than in taking pride in the work that she does and the honor that it is to make a contribution.   So I set about to try to figure out, "What can I do to make a change in the entirety of work culture in our country, if not the world?" I took that tiny little ambition and started this company with a friend. Our mission is to make work good for people and to make people good for work. And more specifically, we do that by training teams to work effectively together, to communicate and collaborate like nobody's business.   Jen: Great, well, hold on. So you're saying that the rest of the world isn't as obsessed with work as I am? I mean, I absolutely love my job. I can't even imagine going into work every day and not being 100% in love with what I'm doing. So I'm glad that you're helping people get to that place because it's a great place to be.   Aaron: Yeah, it is. One of the things that I love about it is, clearly people like you and me gravitate together. So we can actually start to form the idea or the impression that everybody is like us. But in fact, the statistics say that the majority of people do not like work, hate their jobs, hate their bosses, want to quit. There are very scary statistics out there.   Jen: I'm sure. When I look at kind of how you represent yourself and your role at The Yes Works, you're a Co-Founder and Trainer. But you also refer to yourself as a Company Culture Engineer, a Team Building Improv Trainer, a Keynote Interactive Speaker. I got to ask, what exactly does a Team Building Improv Trainer do?   Aaron: Well, thanks for asking. We work with leaders to help them lighten up the interpersonal machinery in their companies. So we have a training model that's based on tools and techniques of theater improvisation. We use those tools and techniques to drill the teams that we're working with to help them build powerful communication and collaboration habits. It's not about information. I'm sure you have experiences like I do. I'm not too ashamed to admit that my wife and I occasionally raise our voices with one another. We don't do that because we know that it's a good idea, in fact, we do that despite the fact that we know that it's not a good idea.   But when we're under duress some of our worst habits come out. So we help teams to develop good habits so that even under duress, you're ready and able to do what's effective. Then we help sales teams to transform sales habitually from something you do to people to something you do in collaboration with buyers. And that also is a matter of having good interpersonal habits.   Jen: Absolutely. You mentioned something that definitely piqued my interest. You said the word “theater”, I don't know if you know this about me, but my career got started actually as a high school English and theater arts teacher. I was a theater kid growing up and played a lot of improv games over the years. So what I'd like to know is where do you see the role of an improviser's mindset when it comes to partnership and sales and co-selling together? I'd love to know more about that.   Aaron: Sure. Well I think Asher and Liz from the Avalara said it really well in an episode that they did with you on this podcast. I don't remember exactly what they said, but they said that they really pursue and work to generate deeper relationships with their partners. They do things socially with them. They work on the relationship, it's not just about the transactions. One of the core principles of improv is the idea that it's never about the thing, it's always about the relationship. So you and I for example, right now we're making a podcast. We're talking about partnership and we're talking about business.   At the same time, and more importantly, we're building a relationship. The things that I say on your podcast in the long run, for your business, and for mine, and for our relationship, are going to be more important in terms of how they help to construct or destroy the relationship that we have together. So if I start tearing apart things that are important to you, that's going to be destructive to our relationship, and if I affirm things that are important to you that's going to build our relationship.   Jen: Right. And I guess, from the improv perspective, there's only so much preparation that you can do, right? So let's talk more about theater. This is great. So if you're in a stage play there's a script and you follow that script. And you think about in sales there's a mentality of following a sales script, following something that's been pre-written for you to lead to success. In improv it's much more give and take, you have to be a good listener.   You have to really collaborate with that partner that you are on stage with, or in this case, that you're working with. So I love that. I'm actually kind of upset with myself that I didn't make that connection before now, but I appreciate you shedding a light on this.   Aaron: Well, let's take it even further. Certainly, I think there are a lot of people out there who know, "Okay, it's good to know what it is that I'm going to be talking about, it's good to have a script to fall back on." I think most sales people these days know that you can't just straight up follow your script.   Jen: Right.   Aaron: But they still may have an outline laid out for them, which I think is also a really great idea. But what do you do when the prospect in front of you doesn't want to follow those steps? Are you simply going to push? Are you going to ignore the fact that they keep trying to steer the conversation in a different direction? Are you going to hear them ask for something that is against policy and just simply say, "No" and the conversation is over at that point? Or do you have the flexibility of mind to do something different, to go in the directions that they want to go? A sales guy at BP asked me once, “What do you do when a prospect hijacks the conversation in a sales call?"   For me, the question itself is an oxymoron. I can't have the sales conversation hijacked. I'm there to serve the needs of my buyer or my prospect if I can in any way. Even if they start talking about the weather halfway through the conversation, they can't hijack the conversation. I instead would probably ask questions after that like, “We were talking about these problems that you're having with your business, tell me how the weather connects to that?" Rather than saying, “It's so cloudy, I really would like to see the sun too, but let's get back to the topic at hand, I only have 30 minutes."   If we go back to that principle that I was talking about earlier, remember it's never about the thing, it's always about the relationship. I've now done something to deteriorate the relationship. I have essentially rejected what in improvisation we call their offer. The offer that they made was, “I want to talk about the weather." Now, that doesn't mean that I'm going to talk about the weather. I'm not here to talk about the weather. I am going to validate that there is a relevant reason that the weather came up. The customer isn't always right, but the customer is always valid.   Jen: That's a good point. What you're talking about here I feel is very collaborative, and communication is collaborative. Actually, I have a quote from you about collaboration, it's just kind of something that stuck with me. You said, “When collaboration is defined by those who don't understand it everyone loses. Collaboration is an ad hoc or hodgepodge. True collaboration is systematic and effective, it creates that which no individual would have created on their own because there's more information among us than there is collected between us. And some problems are solved, some ideas are generated only when your peanut butter is mixed with my chocolate."   Maybe I really liked it because I was hungry, I don't know. But I love this picture that you've painted about what collaboration truly is. I would love to hear from you how have you seen this really put into practice when you talk about selling and working with channel partners? When there are people who are really selling on your behalf and they're not on your payroll, they're not within your four walls, they might be across the world from you, how do you effectively collaborate with them?   Aaron: Well, I think it starts with having an open mind. The greatest insights and the greatest innovations are not always revolutionary, there are more often smaller evolutions. For example, Airbnb, which created a revolution was itself a small evolution on things that were already out there. So it starts with having an open mind, our brains are an incredible association making machine. It really is associations that create innovation, and there's a reason that the words “partnership” and “association” are almost synonyms. The idea of making connections between different ideas, and the word for making connections between different people, both is association.   So when your mind is relaxed we make associations. Archimedes solved this incredible problem of determining the gold content of the crown in the famous story where he said, “Eureka.", not while he was agonizing over the problem, though he spent time doing that. But when he finally took a break from the problem and immersed himself in the tub and the water level rose he shouted, “Eureka," and the solution to the problem of measuring the gold and the crown was in displacement. So he made this association between the water level rising in his bathtub, and the water level rising if you were to immerse a crown in a measured beaker.   So what does this have to do with partners and channels? Well, it has to do in part with how to identify partners, how to identify potential channels, and what is going to be the nature of the partnership. So I think we have ideas about who would make a good partner for our company, we make ideas about how our product relates to other products, but those ideas are most often what our executive mind was able to come up with.   The executive part of the brain, the one that agonizes over problems, is not nearly as effective at making creative associations as a much looser network called the “default mode network”, which comes alive when we play and that executive mind is distracted, the editor is distracted. For example, if you're networking among people who serve the same people that you do and you've got only your executive mind on, you're going to miss incredible associations if your mind is narrowly focused.   Jen: Let's talk about that for a second because there was a piece that you wrote where you talked about how the best networking night of your life was when you were in a large room full of business people for two hours and you left without a single substantial lead and you said it was one of the best nights, right? A lot of sales people might say, “Well, that sounds horrible." So why was that experience one of the best networking nights of your life when you left without any leads? I mean, don't we go to networking events to get leads?   Aaron: Great, okay. If you go to networking events to get leads you're doing it wrong. It's not a lead getting event, there's a reason it's called the networking event, it is an event for building your network. If you think about any network, it's not that the hub, you or me, is connected to everyone in the network. It's that there is this living, breathing, series of connections. Like this is connected to that, connected to that, connected to that, connected to that, connected to that, or I am connected to you or connected to that other person, connected to that other person. LinkedIn is, in fact, a really good example of this, it shows you whether you're a 1st connection, 2nd connection, 3rd connection or further.   It was a great night of networking for me because I tightened the weave. I went out and made a lot of connections, I connected myself to other people...none of whom were leads but that doesn't mean that the connection is any less present. I also connected people that I was meeting with to people who were already in my network, so I expanded my network and also tightened the weave. The night in question that I wrote a blog article about hasn't yet led to any business that I can trace. There was a similar networking event that I went to about a month later that I could have just as easily written about. At this similar event, I made a ton of connections for someone in my network named Rhonda, who happened to also be at that event and we were walking our separate ways.   I kept meeting people whom I knew she should meet, and so I would grab them by the elbow, gently, and say, “You've got to meet my friend Rhonda, she's doing stuff that you're going to want to know about." And I would walk them across the room and find Rhonda, and I connected her probably to 10 different people that I met that evening. So none of that is likely to come back to me, none of those people are likely leads for me, but she wrote a Facebook post that mentioned me and talked about how many people I had connected her to and somebody else responded to that and said, “That's the kind of guy I want to meet” and so I met somebody else named Trisha.   Now, Trisha is like I am, an associative thinker and a connector. We met simply through me connecting Rhonda to a lot of people and Rhonda finding it remarkable. Rhonda remarked and Trisha then wanted to meet me. Trisha has now connected me to people who are definitely going to do business with me, in fact, I've already served some of the people in Trisha's network. That is the kind of thing that happens when you're out there. So I went to a couple of networking events, and I went and gave because that's what there was for me to do that day. I'm not saying that I never get leads when I'm actively networking, I also certainly have my eyes open for that but it's not my sole purpose.   Jen: One of the things you're talking about makes me think about the way that I treat my partners. We have a partner program here at Allbound and my goal is that I want to know as much as I can about my partners. I want to know where they shine, who they can help, what's going to make things better for them, so that I can help make those connections for them, and I have to say I am somewhat selfish because I know that that's going to ultimately come back to me in some way, shape or form, right? But the idea of being this networker I think is very much aligned with building a partner ecosystem where you have a number of individuals and entities that are working together and collaborating to help solve a customer's problem ultimately, and that's why we have the hashtag #NeverSellAlone. So I definitely see that connection.   The other thing that you're talking about is very cultural. You've talked a lot about this, “Got Your Back” culture, about the six different levels of commitment with this idea of “I've got your back”. I think it's really interesting, and I think it could be applied to determining the kind of relationships that partners have and the levels of practice that even align with partner tiers. I'd love if you could explain a little bit about what those levels of supportive behavior look like in this idea of the “Got Your Back” culture.   Aaron: I've talked about six levels of the got your back mentality, and that's really not even all there are, there are more, and I won't go through all six. I will point out something that you were just talking about, trying to support and understand how to help your partners thrive is a way of having their back. To tie it into networking...there are two ways of doing it wrong. One is to go out and be a go-giver, and just give and give and give. You also have your mind narrowed to, “How can I make everybody else's lives better?" And if you don't also have your mind open to, “And what's in this for me?" you're going to miss all those opportunities and you're going to fail that way as well.   So what I hear you saying that I really applaud is that you've got your mind open for how to generate value between you. Sometimes that value is generated in the form of creating for them and sometimes it's in the realm of creating for you, and sometimes it's in the realm of creating for both of you. So that's a pretty advanced, “got your back" level of play. In the article that I think you're talking about I started with level one of “got your back” which is, “I'm not going to throw you under the bus." I think that when we get in bed with the wrong partners and the people who are really in it for themselves, when there's a problem, when there's a customer complaint, if you're in bed with the wrong partner who only operates at this level of “I won't throw you under the bus," when there's duress, maybe they will throw you under the bus and say, “That's not our fault that's Jen's fault. Jen over there at Allbound created this problem that you're having."   Level one would be really even under duress, you're not going to throw them under the bus. Level two, gets up to, “If you're in distress I'm going to help you out." Now let's skip some levels. The really high level of play in, “got your back" that you were talking about is really knowing what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses as my partner, and as a part of my team. This isn't about transaction, this is about really aligning to support our customers.   I'm going to develop my skills, I'm going to develop the features of my product to complement yours, I'm going to find resources to eradicate the weaknesses between us and really serve our customers to the best of our ability. I'll look for ways to fill in the gaps, I may even look for ways to bring in third partners that are going to fill in the gaps that really are outside our areas of expertise. And I've always got my mind on that question of, “How do we build value between us?" Not just for me, not just for you, but how do we build value between us in ways that really support our mission?   Jen: I think it's a really powerful message. I think many of us have experienced managers, internally, that always have your back, that will always go to bat for you, and managers that will be the first to throw you under the bus, right? And that can be extremely crippling to an organization. If you think about that mentality extended exponentially to an entire partner organization that maybe has 10, 100, 1000, sales reps and all the damage that can be done by literally throwing that partner under the bus.   I know I've seen it, I've seen it in organizations I worked in. People pass the buck and want to blame the partner, whether it's the reseller blaming the vendor, or the vendor blaming the implementor, there's a lot of accountability that's being passed around. So I think that that's an extremely powerful behavior, and if you can harness it and you can focus it in the in the right place, you can get to that higher level like you were talking about. I think it's really exceptional to think about.   Aaron: When anybody throws somebody under the bus, everybody loses. If I throw you under the bus Jen, I get a momentary sense of winning because I've dodged a bullet, but what happens if you and I are partners is the first person who loses is actually the customer. Nobody is actually addressing the customer's problem, nobody is solving whatever it is that I threw you under the bus for. So the customer loses and you obviously lose because the customer now thinks ill of you. And in the end, I also lose because now you don't trust me, and if the customer has a brain in their head they also don't trust me because they just watched me throw you under the bus. Even if they didn't watch me throw you under the bus, they did notice that I didn't solve their problem.   I was listening to another podcast recently by a friend of mine, Jody Mayberry, who was talking about his experience at Disney. He went there with his kids and forgot to connect his day pass to his ticket or something like that. He had failed to follow directions, and that led to him having a problem getting into a certain attraction. And instead of pointing a finger at him and saying, “Okay, you did this, you're going to have to go fix it." or instead of sending him to customer service, the Disney employee that he first encountered took that problem on themselves and said, “Your problem is now my problem" and stuck with him for 10 minutes until the problem was resolved.   Compare that to the kind of customer service experience that we usually have. For example, if I were to call my CRM right now, it would drive me nuts if they did not have the proper customer service and passed me from one company to the next because some kind of software integration wasn't working properly.   We've all had experiences like that, even if it's just between departments within a single company. If the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing it's a customer service nightmare. On a rare occasion you might get somebody who says, “I'm going to stay on the phone with you, I'm going to be the shepherd of your problem. Even if I can't solve it I am going to stick with you until we find a solution." That's somebody having your back as a consumer, it's having the back of your own company by making sure consumers have a seamless experience, and it's having the back of the partners of that company so that everybody comes out smelling like roses.   Problems are inevitable. No client that any of us wants is going to expect a problem-free solution, all we want is somebody to say, “Your problem is my problem, we're going to get this solved."   Jen: Absolutely, I think you're 100% right there. Now, I have one more official question for you. A lot of people who listen to the show are building partner programs, maybe they've got small programs and they're really looking to expand and it's a strategic initiative for them within the next year. What advice would you give to leaders that are looking to grow their partner programs? I mean, we've kind of served them quite a bit of food for thought today, if they can walk away with one thing, what would you like the one thing to be?   Aaron: Well, I'll tell you a quick story, I know I can get a little long winded. I met a woman recently with a company called Big Smarty, and what they do is they take executive teams through an intensive process in a boardroom to revamp their mission, vision and values so that everything is aligned and passions are re-engaged and the company has fresh life breathed into it. I thought she'd be a fun person to meet, but while having a conversation with her we found together that there's this kind of incredible chemistry between her product and ours. If we were to go in before she begins with her work around the table, and do the kind of mind loosening stuff that we do, her work is going to be much more efficient and potentially even more powerful than it already is. Now, I didn't go into that conversation looking for a partner, I just went into that conversation looking for sparks because the person who introduced us said, “Hey, there are going to be sparks. I don't know what the connection is I just know I met you and I met her, there are going to be sparks here."   So to answer your question more explicitly, go expand and tighten the weave of your network, keep your mind open. There is a time for narrow focused deliberate purpose and there is a time for broad thinking and just allowing the loose connections in the default mode network of your mind to play and make connections that your intellectual mind, your editor, never would be able to make. It's actually hard work for me to shut off my critic, to shut off that editor, to shut off the executive mind, but there are always rewards when I do. So don't stop charging but do take breaks.   Jen: Great advice and I'll have to take that to heart. I think I'm very guilty of that editor mind so I'm going to be more conscious of that. Thank you, this has been so great. You listen to the podcast, so you know I'm going to ask you a bunch of personal questions. So I'm not going to ask you permission to do it, we're just going to get right into it, okay?   Aaron: Yeah.   Jen: So, first question I have for you is what is your favorite city?   Aaron: No question is easy for me until I actually have to go there, but I'm going to say Jerusalem.   Jen: Oh, I haven't heard that yet. Okay, so I have to ask, why?   Aaron: It is unlike any other city I have ever been in, it's got all of the modern constructions that that we're used to and it's also got this incredible antiquity. But the antiquity isn't a museum, the antiquity is still a living thriving part of the city. So, for example, there's a market in the Old City of Jerusalem that's hardly wide enough to walk down with people hawking their wares just as it would have been ages and ages ago.   Jen: Very cool. I haven't been there yet, but I hope it's someplace that I'll be able to travel to at least once in my life, that's a very interesting favorite city. My next question is are you an animal lover?   Aaron: Yes.   Jen: Do you have pets?   Aaron: Actually, I have a service dog. I'm grateful for the ways in which my life has been made easier and less painful through the service of an animal, and I've had pets my whole life so I love them all.   Jen: Wonderful. Okay, question number three, Mac or PC.   Aaron: For me, PC. I like to learn new things but my brain was trained on a PC and all my attention goes to learning new things in other areas. I'm not opposed to Macs, I've just chosen not to spend my time learning that language.   Jen: Makes perfect sense. All right, last question. Let's say I was able to offer you an all expenses paid trip, where would it be to?   Aaron: My wife has been talking since I met her about how we should go to Italy together and we haven't made that happen yet, so that would probably be it.   Jen: All right. Well, I have been Italy, I haven't been to Jerusalem but I've been to Italy and it is beautiful. I don't know if I'm ever going to have all of the funds to send all my podcast guests on all of their all expenses paid trips, so in the event that I can't do that for you, I do encourage you to take that trip. But thank you so much for sharing some of your insights with us Aaron, it was so great. A little bit of a departure from what we normally get into but I loved kind of being up in this very cerebral space with you, it was awesome.   If any of our listeners would like to reach out to you personally, what's the best way that they can get hold of you?   Aaron: There are a few ways, probably the most effective ways are LinkedIn or email. On LinkedIn I'm Aaron Schmookler, and that's S-C-H-M O-O-K-L-E-R, and I promise I'm the only one there. Or you can email me, my email is Aaron, A-A-R-O-N, aaron@theyesworks.com.   Jen: Wonderful. Well, thank you, everybody for tuning in. There were a lot of different blogs and articles I've referenced, so we'll be including those in the show notes so you'll have a quick link to access them. Thank you, again, Aaron, and to everyone else, we'll catch you next week on an all new episode of The Allbound Podcast.   Man: Thanks for tuning into The Allbound Podcast. For past episodes and additional resources visit the resource center at allbound.com. And remember, #NeverSellAlone.

Justin Gray, CEO and founder at LeadMD, joins me, Jen Spencer to discuss partner relationships and breakups, trusting data, success in the channel and more on this episode of The Allbound Podcast. Transcription   Man: Effective selling takes an ecosystem. Join host, Jen Spencer, as she explores how to supercharge your sales and master the art of never selling alone. Welcome to The Allbound Podcast, the fundamentals of accelerating growth with partners.   Jen: Hi, everybody. Welcome to The Allbound Podcast. I'm Jen Spencer, Vice President of Sales and Marketing here at Allbound, and today I am joined by Justin Gray, who is CEO and founder of LeadMD. Welcome, Justin.   Justin: Thanks for having me.   Jen: Well, it's so good to have you, and for those of you who are listening who don't know, Justin brings a lot of expertise, I'm really excited to have him on the podcast. In addition to being the CEO and founder of LeadMD, he's also a weekly columnist at Inc., the CEO and cofounder at Six Bricks, managing partner at Gray Matter Ventures, partner at Grayson Organics, and CMO and cofounder at PaidSuite. That's a lot. You're a busy, busy man.   Justin: It's a mouthful.   Jen: Yeah. I'm sure our listeners are going to be able to gain a wealth of knowledge from you. So, Justin, tell us a little bit about these companies that you work with.   Justin: Sure, I've kind of picked different organizations up along the way almost by accident, but, really, the centerpiece organization that I'm a part of is LeadMD, a digital marketing consultancy. Out of that kind of sprung the need to educate and match great marketers with employers, and that's what Six Bricks does. I've since formed a little venture, a very little venture organization called Gray Matter Ventures that I'm using to feed organizations, including Six Bricks. Then I've got some other ventures in the payments world, and then a very unprofitable labor of love known as Grayson Organics, which is actually my family's farm that we converted into organic in 2008 and have been running small field crops ever since.   Jen: That's awesome. So, what we talk about here on the show is partner programs and partner channels. And, so being a founder, a cofounder, on the executive team of these organizations, you have a lot of experience running companies and contributing to these organizations. In your experience, when do you think the best time is to start a partner channel program?   Justin: Yeah, it's kind of like that old question of when's the best time to plant a tree? Twenty years ago, the second best today. Obviously it does depend on the business model. The payments business that I'm a part of operates exclusively through the channel, so we started that organization with the notion that we would be managing and maintaining a completely outsourced sales channel to sell and implement our products. So, look at the model through which you want to sell, if that's going to be totally outsourced to the channel, or if that's going to be a blend.   Have a consorted channel strategy right from the beginning and tackle really difficult questions like who's going to market on behalf of the organization, are you going to do it from a corporate level, are you going to shove that down to and empower the franchisees or channel partners to do that on their own behalf? Those are decisions that are always best made right upfront, and so I think just as with anything, developing a really strong strategy from the beginning and executing towards that consistently is what we see as a recipe for growth.   Jen: Would you mind sharing why you decided to sell exclusively through channel for that organization?   Justin: Yeah, so sales is all about trust, and that particular organization, which is PaidSuite, sells integrated payment products. So we looked at the marketplace and we could've formed our own inside sales channel and tried to penetrate the market from scratch, but, instead, we chose to actually partner with software organizations and ISOs that already had existing relationships and add our suite of products to their repertoire. So, it just really allowed us to break down those trust barriers, accelerated our speed to market, and led to a good deal of success within that business. I think, had we chosen to try to kind of brute force it and spin up our own inside sales channel, it would've been a much longer time to market. It would've been a lot more investment on education and training, and just empowering that force. So, again, it was the right decision for us based on what we wanted to accomplish in the business within our first 24 months.   Jen: Oh, it makes perfect sense, absolutely. I think what's really cool about you and your perspective is that you have that business where you are going to market through these partners, but then with LeadMD, you are a partner of many technology organizations that I know a lot of our listeners would know about. And, so you get to see both sides of it, and that, I think, brings this other layer of expertise to you that a lot of people don't have. Most people pretty much live on one side of the fence or the other.     Justin: Right. Yeah, actually, one of our strongest verticals is channel sales. We've got organizations like Blue Cross Blue Shield, we've got a lot of med device organizations, Mobi, just organizations that are dependent upon that extra layer of support, and again that provides a lot of interesting challenges from a marketing standpoint. It presents a lot of opportunities to empower those sales channels, educate them, and, obviously, we got to keep them up-to-date on the quickly evolving world that we all live in. So, definitely a huge amount of opportunity, and then we really do see the folks that are empowering their channel partners through marketing and through education. That's a strategic advantage for our organization, absolutely.   Jen: Let's talk more about that. With all of your experience, I'm sure you've created a number of strategic alliances that have been fruitful. Maybe you've even seen some that have fell flat, whether they're partnerships that you've been a part of or that you've been supporting from an agency perspective. I'm wondering if there was any sort of recipe or repeating factor that you could recognize in a partner or in a partnership that would signal this makes sense, this is a mutually beneficial alliance.   Justin: Yeah, and that's always a really difficult prediction to have right upfront. My crystal ball is broken, so what may seem like a great partnership where everyone's aligned and we're going to go to market together and achieve this awesome amount of success is often not the case. You really need to be careful about whether this is going to be truly a value equation, as we term it, presenting equal value on both sides. And, so we've tried to get more formalized throughout the years at LeadMD as we've taken a look at the types of partners that we would potentially want to work with, the types of partnerships that have worked well in the past, and really gauge new potentials on that scale. So, we've actually kind of developed a partner evaluation framework that we leverage when we're looking at a new partner.   Having worked with over 3,000 B2B technology organizations, we have a lot of folks that want access to our customer base, but that isn't always a as I mentioned a balanced equation. We're often not getting the same amount as we're putting in there, so we've kind of tried to really hone in on what makes a successful partnership. For us, it really does come down to the fact of can we wrap services around that partner offering? Does it lead to more work, frankly, for our organization? We're a time and materials billing organization, so we need to figure out a way to build clients and provide value. And if the partner solution doesn't enable us to do so, it's a difficult partnership for us. We definitely need to be enabling our customers, and if we can't do that in the form of providing that solution and wrapping our best practices around it, it's not a good solution for us.   Jen: Right, and that's great food for thought for a lot of businesses that are creating these agency partner programs, I'm glad to have that kind of feedback to share with folks. Can you also kind of tell us when you think about the most successful partnerships that you've had, where did they come from? For people that are just starting out and just starting to build their program, is there anything we can learn from some of your most successful endeavors?   Justin: Yeah, our most successful partnership to date is obviously Marketo, and like anything successful in business, I think it comes with a healthy dose of luck. So, there is some unrepeatability around that as well, but I would say that what is a constant between all of our good relationships is we're using that solution in house. We have a relationship with them, they're aligned with our culture and we know that we align from a methodology standpoint. So, I was Marketo's 20th customer way back in 2006. I started using the platform before I was ever a partner at a payments organization, I sold my piece of that payments company, and kind of went out on my own and didn't really know what I wanted to do.   Some folks hit me up and said, "Hey, would you help us build a sales and marketing engine?" and I said, "Yeah, that sounds great, but you're going to have to implement some technologies that I know how to run. So, let's go ahead and implement salesforce.com, let's implement Marketo, and let's really get all of the text back in place to support that repeatable engine." Throughout the years, we kind of grew with Marketo and formed a really strong partnership with them to the point where they would outsource a lot of their work to us. We were participating in deal cycles with their sales reps. We were empowering them where they needed kind of that value engineering consultative approach. A lot of their sales reps just aren't marketing experts, and our folks are. So, we were willing to slot in within that sales process, provide that marketing expertise, and, of course, as a result, we were able to win business.   So, again, it was a win-win throughout that entire life cycle, and that really is why that's our flagship partnership. We've been able to repeat that with a lot of core digital marketing platforms and sales platforms that we brought on. Engagio is probably the newest member of that stable, and, again, we use the software, we see the value in it. We have the expertise in house to really ensure success within the partner orgs that we board on that platform. So, I would say that you can't discount the value of relationships. Relationships really drive everything that we do. I love the way that marketing is currently going, in kind of this quality over quantity aspect, finally. And, at the center of most of those relationships and partnerships is a really tight understanding and alignment that you just don't get when you start taking all-comers.   Jen: Well, I'm glad you mentioned this because you wrote an article fairly recently, and it was called "How to Avoid Getting Eaten Alive by Your Partner Ecosystem." I loved it. If anyone hasn't read it, I recommend when you're done listening, go check it out. It's at leadmd.com/marketplace, we'll also link to it in the show notes. In the article you say, if you want to get to the heart of how well your potential partner performs, become a client first. And, it is really great advice, and I understand from your Marketo story, even from the Engagio perspective, I understand it. Is it a hard and fast rule that you have to use that technology in order to find value? Could you see partnering with an organization if you weren't actually using that product first? Or, is that part of that evaluation criteria that you have?   Justin: I mean, it's one that we feel really strongly about. There's exceptions to every rule, obviously. I would say that there's no better way to really get an understanding of how well that partner treats its customer base, and, therefore, my customer base, than to experience that firsthand. So, we view that as something that's really important to our business. Now, we're also a sales and marketing consultancy who can use all of these products, if a product doesn't have the fit within your stack or within your go-to-market strategy, then I certainly understand that.   It is absolutely my pet peeve when we're up against a competitive deal, and we're up against an agency that doesn't use Marketo themselves. I mean, it's as simple as navigating over to their site and looking at the scripts that are contained on the site. It's like hey, great, you're up against us and a HubSpot partner. Why is the solution that they're proposing to you not good enough for them to use? That's fundamentally part of our sales strategy. We've been using this, we know the ins and outs of it, we don't support any other marketing automation platform, so we feel strongly enough about it to make it an exclusive partner of ours as well. So, we kind of put our money where our mouth is, and, eat our own dog food, drink our own champagne, make up our own bad analogies. It's core to our business. It works for us.   Jen: Yeah, it definitely makes sense. So, back to that article. You mentioned to avoid partnerships where you stand nothing to gain.   Justin: Sounds obvious, right?.   Jen: Yeah, it's obvious. Obvious, right, but, I mean, no one goes into a partnership going, "Well, I'm not going to get anything out of this. Let's jump right in," right? So, it's possible at the start of the relationship everyone's like, "This is going to be amazing," but then as the companies maybe grow, you evolve maybe a partnership becomes one-sided. Maybe you end up doing the heavy lifting without anything in return. Do you have any advice for folks on how to handle that kind of situation? Do you break up? How do you not burn a bridge? Do you hang on hoping there might be something in the long-term that will keep this alive? What advice do you have?   Justin: Yeah, I think there's obviously a couple of facets to that. So, as I mentioned, it sounds super obvious, right, but I would say that there is kind of this aspirational partnership that exists out there. I feel like this happens a lot with big logos. Like, we know they've got a ton of customers and their customers kind of look like our customers. Thinking putting out a press release and putting this logo on our site is going to add so much credibility, but we don't take that extra step to really drill into what are we going to do together? How are we going to realize this value?   I find asking those uncomfortable questions yields the best result. So, yeah, we both operate in the same space, and we've got similar customers, but what are we going to do together, explicitly, tomorrow? Are we going to market together? Are we going to create content? Are we going to do some account planning and alignment exercises? What is success going to look like in 6 months, 12 months, 18 months? How many deals are we going to have boarded? When we board a deal, what is that process going to look like? Am I going to run the majority of the implementation? Do you want to own some as the technology provider?   So, having those really difficult conversations upfront I feel helps to avoid the very difficult conversation down the road where you've been a part of that partnership, you've had the logo on your site for two years, and there's never been anything that's precipitated from that agreement, and now you've got to go back and say, "Hey, this isn't working out." I mean, breaking up is hard to do, so I would say the more that you can really drill in, get explicit, and set up a plan right from jump street, the less you will have to go back and revisit and have those uncomfortable conversations.   So, that's first and foremost. Now, if you haven't done that or things change, conditions change, the landscape looks different, and suddenly you find yourself in that bad position, I think it's best just to use real world data there. Let's look back at the pipeline we've generated together, it's weak to nonexistent. The types of customers that we've boarded maybe are no longer customers, or maybe we weren't able to make those customers happy because of the misalignment of expectations. One of our core tenets is we track everything. If I'm boarding a new partner, I'm tracking that all within CRM. What deals are we working on together? What deals did we swing and miss? What deals did we win? And, then I can pull those reports.   The Marketo partnership has not been all roses and champagne either. Marketo's gone through some pretty big market shifts. During the course of our partnership, they've gone from 20 employees to 1,500 employees. They've gone public, and then they were taken back private. There are major continental shifts that we've seen within that organization, and the org today behaves fundamentally differently than it did when we first rolled out our partnership and I wrote a contract on the back of a napkin. So, as it's progressed, the data has really enabled me to come to those partner conversations and say, "Look, this is data from 2013. Look at the data from '15. You're my largest competitor right now," which at one point Marketo was my largest competitor.   So, you have to be able to back up those shifts with actual data, and what I actually find, certainly within larger organizations, is they're often not well-positioned to gather that data themselves, or there's been so much turnover or process shift internally that they're actually using my dataset as law to describe the success of the partnership. So track everything, and that makes those conversations a little bit easier as you get into that data, and everyone can look at the same thing and agree that, yeah, this isn't working and maybe there's a solution to that, or maybe it's time to go our separate ways. But regardless, we can't blame it on emotion at that point, we want to blame it on something that's tangible, that's real.   Jen: That makes a lot of sense. I'm sure there are a lot of organizations that you've partnered with that have benefited from the fact that you are gathering that kind of data. Unfortunately, for a lot of companies that are growing a million miles a minute it does seem sometimes like an afterthought, just this extra thing to do. But, it is extremely important, especially when you're balancing those resources and trying to figure out where to spend your time. So, do you also use that data that you might have with one partnership to help determine what success looks like in another partnership? Do you keep that internally and leverage that as a baseline?   Justin: Yeah, so we'll introduce that baseline in partnership conversations. We're potentially looking at a new partnership right now, and normally the first question out of my mouth is what does your most successful partnership look like? You can get a big feel for how that process is going to go by the data that they're able to present. If they're more on the fluffy side of, "Well, we do some activities together. They sponsor our trade show every year or our conference. We do some marketing together," I'll know that this is not as data-driven as we want it to be because I want to see sales pipeline.   I want to see the amount of revenue that you've closed together in the last 18 months. What does the joint sales cycle look like? So, absolutely, we've taken that data collection and turned it into a benchmark to which we hold other potential partnerships. The question always exists out there of there's this new company and they don't have a long track record, but we think there's a lot of potential. And, those are going to exist.   When we partnered with Engagio, they were less than 12 months old at that point, but, fortunately, they were made up by the who's who of previous Marketo employees. So, there was some faith that was included within that partnership as well, knowing that Jon Miller's not going to start an organization that's going to tank. Again, that's where you have to kind of leverage those relationships, whether it's data-driven or it's relationship-driven, insight is the key out of either one of those points.   Jen: All right. You could say that that relationship originally came out of good data as well, so that was definitely a very, very, very safe bet. Okay. So, I have one last official channel question for you, and that is, what's one piece of advice you'd give to someone who's really trying to breathe life back into their channel partner program? We see this a lot, we see a lot of organizations who start a program. And they probably under-resourced it, or they expected to do one thing, it does something else, and now they're kind of back at it ready to reinvest. If you could give that person, that organization, or that leader advice, what would it be?   Justin: Yeah, I really do love data, but, moreover, I love getting to the why. I don't just want to hop on a phone call or go to a meeting and ask that question. I want to see it firsthand. So, my number one piece of advice to our internal folks or anyone that's in charge of managing partner relationships is get out there and get embedded within that partner. We love to go out into bullpens and just work for a day and see what those conversations look like at that partner organization. Are they mentioning us? Are they having conversations that we could be assisting but we're not being tapped to come in and be that resource?   I love getting embedded within those environments and just seeing how their process works. Is another partner there when you show up? We've had that happen before. I had one of my competitors literally officing out of Marketo for a while, and we were like, "Wow, we really need to up our game," because they've got a level of access that we're just not taking advantage of right now. So we immediately said, "We'd love to get a cube here and park ourselves two days out of every week." And we flew someone over, and I actually eventually lit up a sales team in San Francisco to be closer to them. That insight would've never come about if I hadn't made a trip over there and just said, "I'm going to sit in your bullpen and see what these conversations sound like." Ultimately, you want to understand what does that sales pitch sound like? Where do they struggle? Where do they need help? Where can I provide some value? Simply saying, "You need to help me sell into your customer base," or, "You need to sell my services," is not going be effective.   Communicating “We have to have a solution-based message. So, when you're running up against this objection, we can help, and I heard your sales reps combat that objection a dozen times when I was out onsite.” So, I really do think that kind of that employee exchange approach is a highly valuable exercise, and, regardless of whether that has to do with partner or any other aspects of the business, I really do encourage our employees to get out there, get embedded with the partner, and understand why aren't we more successful in this partnership? I guarantee you will learn something that you would not have had you not been in that close proximity.   Jen: Absolutely. Gosh, that collaboration is unbelievable. Such good advice, and such an awesome story, too. Now, before we totally wrap this up, at the end of the podcast I always ask people some more kind of personal questions to get to know them a little bit. I make it a speed round, but I don't know how fast we end up really going, but just four questions. Are you up for it?   Justin: Yeah, absolutely. Let's do it.   Jen: Okay, okay. So, first question is what is your favorite city?   Justin: My favorite city is San Francisco, California.   Jen: Me too. I'm going to ask you why. See, I do this, I make it not be speedy because I want to ask more questions.   Justin: I lived in San Francisco for two years, really for the purposes of assisting in LeadMD's growth, and, I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, so probably not the most culturally diverse epicenter in the world. It just blew my mind to be able to walk down the street and get the best food in the world, walk into a networking group and everyone's leaning forward and engaged, and participating in these conversations. It just seemed like everyone wanted to be there, and that's kind of how I describe San Francisco.   You could throw an event in Arizona, and struggle to get five people to show up. I was part of a Bulldog meet up when I was over there, and like 30, 40 people would show up with their Bulldogs every week. And, I was like, "Jesus, I can't get this level of engagement when I'm giving away free training, much less trying to get Bulldogs to show up to a meet up." So, it just seemed very intentional, and I love intentional things.   Jen: So, side note...I'm gonna help you. We're going to lobby together for, like, a high speed train between Phoenix and San Francisco.   Justin: Yeah, absolutely.   Jen: So, that'll be a pet project in our free time, Justin.   Justin: Hyperloop.   Jen: Yeah. The next question for you was going to be are you an animal lover? You mentioned the Bulldogs, so is that a yes?   Justin: I am. Yeah, I love bull breeds, and I love English Bulldogs. I have a 10-year-old English Bulldog named Chubs. It's a girl. I wanted to give her a complex early in life. When that dog's no longer around, I will absolutely be heartbroken. So, yeah, I love animals, love dogs.   Jen: All right. Question number three. Mac or PC?   Justin: Mac, a thousand times.   Jen: Yeah. And, question number four. Let's say I was able to offer you an all-expenses paid trip. Where would it be to?   Justin: Oh, that's a really good one. I've got this weird philosophy on life that I love really new experiences in really comfortable places. So, I would actually probably go to St. Thomas. It's my favorite spot on earth, but I'd love to try to figure out some new stuff when I was down there. The last time I was down there we found this little secluded pool that is in this outcropping of rocks on one of the many islands that surround St. Thomas. So, I think it's just one of those places where you can go and find something new every single time, and definitely one of my favorite places on earth.   Jen: Sounds wonderful. Well, thank you so much for spending some time with me today. It was so awesome getting a chance to talk to you about channel, about partnerships on both sides of that fence. If anyone who's listening would like to reach out to you personally, what's the best way for them to get a hold of you?   Justin: I'm looking forward to being the only guest on this show ever that actually loves using Twitter, so you can hit me up at @jgraymatter on Twitter, or you can check us out. Our site leadmd.com. I'd like to say we give away more best practices than most agencies have. So, all of our content's there available for free, and, of course, my contact information is there as well.   Jen: Wonderful. Well, again, thank you, and thank you all for joining us for The Allbound Podcast. We'll catch you next week with an all-new episode.   Justin: Thanks, Jen.   Man: Thanks for tuning into The Allbound Podcast. For past episodes and additional resources, visit the resource center at allbound.com. And, remember, #NeverSellAlone.