Podcasts about I Think I Love You

Today you will hear something very few have heard, and it has to do with David Cassidy‘s song, “I Think I Love You.” Apparently, no one is having sex anymore, and we have the official color for 2025. Actor Timothy Chalamet is playing Bob Dylan in a new film and his version of “Like a Rolling Stone” has been released and we share that with you. Plus, Cracker Barrel has committed the ultimate sin; can you forgive? Discover that and more in two Christmassy hours of, “What You Do!"

Send us a textHave you ever wondered what it's like to be the voice of a baseball stadium? Join us as we sit down with the charismatic Tim Debacco former public address announcer and master organist for the Pittsburgh Pirates. Tim takes us on a journey through his unique career, sharing how he went from a budding young musician to stepping into the shoes of the legendary Vince Lashide. Listen in as Tim recounts the amusing tales of life behind the scenes, including a particularly cheeky organ tune played during Bobby Bonilla's return to Pittsburgh that had the whole stadium buzzing.Take a trip down memory lane as we switch gears to the world of vinyl records and pop culture nostalgia. Growing up with a dad who was an early YouTuber in spirit, I found my passion for music in the family's rich collection of vinyl. We savor the tactile joy of spinning records and contrast it with today's digital streaming convenience. Plus, hear about the playful nod to pop culture with a humorous suggestion about being a "Swifty," and discover why "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family holds a special place in my heart.To wrap things up, we dive into the nostalgia of collecting, from the iconic radio stories of Casey Kasem to rare Pittsburgh edition TV Guides. Celebrate the simple joys of classic TV shows, radio jingles, and vintage board games like Stratomatic Baseball. We even share a few laughs over a mishap with a Chuck Berry concert that went hilariously off-script. This episode promises a warm, entertaining tribute to the enduring charm of sports, music, and the joy of collecting cherished memories.THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!!!www.holdmycutter.com

Kicking off our "I Think I Love You" series, Lead Pastor Sam Grosso gets real about the stages of singleness and dating. This message is perfect for any and everyone! Whether you're happily single, ready to mingle, or anywhere in between, tune in for some honest, down-to-earth advice that'll get you thinking and maybe even change your approach to love and dating.

Week two of our "I Think I Love You" series, Lead Pastor Sam Grosso dive into the truth that marriage is a sacred covenant, and in this message, Pastor Sam shares Biblical wisdom and practical advice for couples at any stage of their relationship. From understanding God's design for marriage to navigating the challenges of daily life together, this message is a beacon of hope and guidance.

Kicking off our "I Think I Love You" series, Lead Pastor Sam Grosso gets real about the stages of singleness and dating. This message is perfect for any and everyone! Whether you're happily single, ready to mingle, or anywhere in between, tune in for some honest, down-to-earth advice that'll get you thinking and maybe even change your approach to love and dating.

This week Matt and Samer give you a mix tape of songs from fictional bands from some of your favorite movies and TV shows.  Check out all of them on our special YouTube playlist:https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZ9yPW4ujP3QafO95dOXcK918t-AGlJEA&si=zqQOBwI7WId0Yil61. I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family2. We Are Sex Bob-Omb by Sex Bob-Omb (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)3. Fever Dog by Stillwater4. If You're Into It by Flight of the Conchords5. Never Did No Wanderin' by The Folksmen6. Margerine by Sadgasm (The Simpsons/ That 90s episode)7. Dance With Me Tonight by The Wonders8. You All Everybody by Drive Shaft (Lost)9. Let's Duet by John C. Reilly & Angela Correa10. Mystik Spiral - Ow! My Face (Daria)11. Big Bottom by Spinal Tap12. Three Sad Virgins (ft Taylor Swift) / SNL Support the showVisit us at https://www.superawesomemix.com to learn more about our app, our merchandise, our cards, and more!

After the ancient alien mystic chak Chel merges with supacree, she leads her on a wild adventure though space and time as the worlds newest superhero, helping supacree to master her powers and abilities, and helping her to escape the clutches of the evil and largely unknown evils of the multiverse— Meeting worlds and Banding together witb characters from infinite multidimensional worlds and realms… THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, per Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

After the ancient alien mystic chak Chel merges with supacree, she leads her on a wild adventure though space and time as the worlds newest superhero, helping supacree to master her powers and abilities, and helping her to escape the clutches of the evil and largely unknown evils of the multiverse— Meeting worlds and Banding together witb characters from infinite multidimensional worlds and realms… THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, per Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

After the ancient alien mystic chak Chel merges with supacree, she leads her on a wild adventure though space and time as the worlds newest superhero, helping supacree to master her powers and abilities, and helping her to escape the clutches of the evil and largely unknown evils of the multiverse— Meeting worlds and Banding together witb characters from infinite multidimensional worlds and realms… THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, per Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

After the ancient alien mystic chak Chel merges with supacree, she leads her on a wild adventure though space and time as the worlds newest superhero, helping supacree to master her powers and abilities, and helping her to escape the clutches of the evil and largely unknown evils of the multiverse— Meeting worlds and Banding together witb characters from infinite multidimensional worlds and realms… THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, per Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Creatives can find inspiration pretty much anywhere; naturally in the world of art, but also through the process of nurturing, be that in helping others brush up on their talents, or simply in bringing a piece flora to fruition. Well, just a stone’s throw away from Austin out in Round Rock, high school art teacher […] The post Resin: “I Think I Love You” appeared first on KUT & KUTX Studios -- Podcasts.

THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, per Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested m

THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, per Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

THE LEGEND OF SUPACREE LEGENDS GERALD'S WORLD OWSLA CONFIDENTIAL: THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES ENTER THE MULTIVERSE DEATHWISH ASCENSION THE SECRET LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ SCARY MONSTERS & SUPACREE THE INSOMNIAC &MORE FROM [The Festival Project.™] SEASON 6 ACT III Part I MONTAGE: Clique, Cruel Summer Kanye West, JAY-Z & Big Sean EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES. BROAD ASS DAYLIGHT SUPACREE has unlocked 100% Of her ABILITIES GOD MODE UNLOCKED SUPACREE EXITS EQUINOX FITNESS CLUB AT LIGHTSPEED, Hitting the pavement with swift force, splitting into three dimensional selves; SUNNI BLŪ to her left and A MYSTERIOUS, unknown ALTER EGO to her right, she shifts quickly to the beat of the music, morphing into and out of parallels of the outer world, opening and closing portals, and encapsulating anything and everything within her force field—which happens to be the whole of GREATER LOS ANGELES. Damn. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Of a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something's off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful? The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world What have we done? This is bad, brother. That's a construct. Everything's a construct! Get ahold of yourself. Get ahold of—you know what? I do know. You think you're fuckin' clever. I am clever. You're a sick man. That's my business. Yeah, well—you made it my business. I am you. What a concept. *construct. God, help you! [sideways evil smirk] Hehe. SPAM! ON TACOS! BUTTERS Oh—Jesus! WHO PUTS SPAM ON TACOS?! A smart man. C'mon, Butters. We gotta get lost in the sauce before we try this out. I'MMA TRY IT OUT. OK. GOD, OH, GOD, PLEASE— MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN— (WhT.) JUST— DON'T LET IT BE SKRILL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Fuxk. What. She took the train. Which fucking train. I don't know. The train. THE A TRAIN, or the B TRAIN?! HEY. WHAT, you motherfucking idiot? I THINK I LOVE YOU. Well, stop thinking. Ok. JIMMY FALLON THE COSMIC AVENGER has been kidnapped— He's like 50 years old. He's been dad-napped. —by the MOB. The MOB?! He's into some dark shit. Wait, he is?! In this series. He has been tied to a chair, which sits under a single spotlight in a shabby, dark room in NEW JERSEY. Ew, New Jersey. JIMMY THE MOBSTER Hi, Jimmy— JIMMY FALLON —uh—hello. JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON Oh, that's ironic. [beat] JIMMY THE MOBSTER I'm gonna kill you, Jimmy. GOD If I give you a serious role, how are you gonna handle it? JIMMY FALLON like a pro. GOD don't lie to me, Jimmy. JIMMY FALLON What?! I'm not! My body, heart, mind, and soul was being attacked— I had 15 minutes to vacate the property and couldn't even focus—I had to use the bathroom so badly it hurt my soul. I was pacing back and forth, choking back ugly tears—the rude man in the room across the way still occupying the bathroom which I needed, both to clean and relieve myself—but it had been hell, after all, and needs like these had been proven to be in short supply. Fuck. This is a gun to your head. Just do it. [he moves the pistol into her mouth] Now it's in your mouth. [she unhinges her jaw to open it wider, never breaking eye contact and relaxes; he studies his hand on the grip of the tripper, ready to lill] You'll die today. [A comfort; as she relaxes, he as well changes—this seems to take the fun of killing away from him, he exacts the gun from her mouth] CONT'D You like that? I love it— You're dead, bitch! Yes, I am! A penniless whore. Whores get paid— Then, even less— What's less than this? A dead bitch. Think again. I don't think, I just shoot; Sounds like a man. Oh, I am. Then kill me with your hands. Jesus Christ, man. He can't help. No one can help you. So just shoot. [he can't] SUNNI. )&2&;@2@2$ YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL. SUCK MY DICK. AGHHJJJ. Well. TMZ is here. This is a disaster. NEXT, WE LEARN: THE Oh my God. WhT. This is probably the worst thing I've ever written. Not the worst. Nope: it is the worst. Maybe it's just bad on paper. It's bad no matter how you — CONTROL, JANET PRIVACY. Here. Wtf is this. LEGENDS: FAME SCHOOL Christopher Walken was one of my professors in fame school For acting? For music. For music? That doesn't make any sense. Please, don't make me explain this. A FACE BATTLE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN vs. SUPACREE -_- —__^ *_- ^__ __/ *_* >< … —-__—- Ok. Alright. Show me what you got. SUPACREE plays a beat. You know where this is going. We all know where this is going. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN that was OK. “OK”?! Yeah. *shrugs* OK. You know what— You know what it needs? …what's it need? —-more cowbell. I beg your pardon. Please, don't beg. It was perfect. It was OK. You're not OK. —maybe I'm not. You're definitely not. —know what helps? Don't tell me: More fucking cowbell. Lol. ⅔ ain't bad. Wait, two out or three?! Which one didn't I— —FUCK. What, what happened? They're onto me. THE BAMPHERAMPS, MOTHERFUCKING BAMPHERAMPHS, and THE ASCENDED MASTERY has assembled in NEW YORK CITY to stage a coup. It's a coup d'état. There sure is a lot of French shit over here. Well yeah, it's Paris. Wait. What, what now? If SUPACREE is in Paris. NIGGAZ. Right—then— Who the fuck are they chasing in New York. [just waking up] Why am I in New York? WHOOPI GOLDBERG you got anyplace else to be? …no. MEANWHILE, IN ROME. Fanculo! Really, dude. Apparently. A tear in my head; A rip in my soul, And the fabric of— Coming undone at the whole; I make sense of it all at the alter, The fall; To have fought in the war, And then lost, or to suffer at all Love was lost, I was never a martyr— Blood on the cross, And the crossroads, The frost and the stardust, “There's no God” For the honorable, Stuck in New York, But defrosting my toes, At the forefront I haven't once wondered or thought Of the love that I was, Since I stopped throwing rocks at the church Or got off on the wrong stop; What a puzzle, To jump off, Or rot in the heart of The hub— World of wonders, A mother of suns, Never wanted a daughter so much Unpunishment, Loved was the Duchess; To carry a crutch or a cross— So unbothered, untouched, So heartless and dark, For the marksman—a spark Or the dog does not bark At the horses You're in the clear, hero. Heartless, she was! Now, now—settle down. This is an absolute outrage. Is it, now? I say so! Maybe you shouldn't. Faro, a word, I've got three. I'll go first. [a smug look] What's happened here? A ressurection, sir. Care to explain? I said ‘three.' Where's the King? My palms grew numb as my throbbing heartache welled up into the back of my throat and sat perched up against my growling stomach, stuffed with beans and rice, perhaps to fill the sadness or satiate my need for protein, either one. ASCENSION If you're going to vomit, step away from me. —I'm not sick. Actually, step out of my house. This is your house? —I live here. —no one lives here. What did you think it was? an elaborate cave. It is—an elaborwte cave— —excuse my ignorance. You're excused entirely. —I appreciate that. I meant, from here. You should go. Faro, wait. No more waiting; you were uninvited. Trust me—this visitation is more necessary than voluntary. That's—a lot of words. I don't speak caveman. Just—get out. Listen: No more listening— It's about C'esme't. It always is. This is important. It always is. It concerns you. It always does. —? Wait. [a heavy sigh] [a long silence] Come with me. FARO leads GÍAN towards the back of his quarters. Close the door. I— what? Nevermind. You're useless. Ehrm—excuse me. Excused, your majesty. FARO opens a SECRET PASSAGEWAY into a FUTURISTIC CORIDOR, leading GÍAN into a vast FORTRESS. balls. Uh. My stomach in knots And my life is in ruins Constellations all gone, And my heart, on the border of hurt— And mistrust So unlovable, loveless— Promises, scars and the art was devoured Ah— she was awful; Ah—she must have lost her mind God, she was homeless, And loveless, And wild eyed All that I wanted, Was to get lost in the lobby, Before the whole ball dropped —and watch the false phropet Collide wirh the comet Stop: I lost God at the crosswalk, The punishment was Homeless Now watch this: This is what I wanted: Doesn't really matter now, Does it? Oh, doesn't it. God, this is Lucifer. Son, it's an honor. No God for a mother, who walks on her own. Now it's over or under. It's over. It never got started. I locked up my heart with the piñata. How irrelevant. How awkward. How curse words turn to mantras. How I have half a heart Or, like ⅓ We're being honest, now. I thought Illuminati wanted hotties and Caucasians. Well, I guess that'll explain, Why you've been stuck inside a cage, then. NICK CAGE is an extremely skilled time traveler. Ok. WHOOPI GOLDBERG has freed herself from the cage in which SUPACREE had skillfully trapped the OWL OF THE GOLDEN EYE. WhT a prophecy. MEANWHILE, AT HOGWARTS. HOGWARTS, 2023. ANANDAR is HEADMASTER. Ah, fuck. I'm gonna puke. All I wanted was to shamelessly watch the man's balls swing like a pendulum... Well, here's this instead. Oh no, it's Skrillex. Now you have to— —now I have to watch this. Why. Cause I've already seen that. I hate you. I hate you. SOLD, to the lady in red. Damn. Slavery is cool. Yeah, I guess. FUCK. What. Idk. BITCH. GET OUT THE BASEMENT; I'm in the attick What you think this is? Lights, camera, action: Now that attractions been well established I should get back to it, I'm in the attic Lighting up matches, Fixin my holes up with patches Callin it classic Call me an asshole, I can't be mad man, I am a mad man, I bring the mask back To Handle a trash can Get out the basement. I told you he could dance. A GIANT DRAGON Oh shit, here it comes. FIRE. DILLON FRANCIS I Well. We're gonna die. DILLON FRANCIS II If she throws up, I get a pickle. DILLON FRANCIS III That's a deal. DILLON FRANCIS II And if she cries, I get a French poodle named Angelina Jolie. DILLON FRANCIS III Righteous. DILLON FRANCIS II Yur damn right. A GIANT DRAGON FLIES OVERHEAD, SWEEPING THE SKIES WITH FIRE AND LIGHTNING. DILLON FRANCIS I (CONT'D) Yeah, we're definitely fucked. Why are you dressed like Froto. FROTO (in background, dressed exactly alike) That is offensive! SHUTTHEFUCKUP. It's the end of the world! (At least as we know it) IS THAT SKRILLEX? FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Well, it was. What the fuck HAPPENED?! Is that its final form? Yes it is. I'll give you one million dollars. That's not enough. This card is priceless. What is this. Like a Pokémon game?! This whoops Pokémon's ass. This is LEGENDS. LIL' BIIIITZ Yo! New York is CRAZY First of all, how is it all of a sudden CLEANER THAN LA?! New York's like: here —we sent all the nasty people to LA. All better. Polarity shift! LA is gross now! New York cleaned up! The trains are nice —shit— All the trash is in BAGS. I was like “Whaaaaaaat” this is nice. What the fuck. This shit different! Unh. they exported all the nasty, crazy motherfuxkers to LA. On GOD. Cause every other psychologically twisted individual I talk to in LA is like: “I'M FROM NEW YORK” *hawks loogie, spits* Uhhhhh… I was going on a little European adventure; New York's like: “You know, you never stay long…” I'm like “There's a reason for that…welp, gotta go.” The whole universe fucked around and was like— “You know what? We like you here. Stay. “ What. “STAY.” Fuck. New York is different. Won't say I love it — But goddamn, I like it! People are rude. People are rude as fuck. I'm used to LA where people are fake nice For fuckin tips and shit, you know? Everybody's trying to get famous for something, Or something. Idk. Fake as fuck. Fake nice. Fake happy. Fake titties. Fake lips. Just fucking fake. fake everything. Everything is plastic. —and it's not tied up in garbage bags, either. It's just plastic, and trash, and piss everywhere. It's so gross. You see Venice Beach on the movies: It's all clean and beautiful, and picturesque. You get there, it's like Skid Row + Skid Row Coastal. LA has millions of homeless people everywhere. In cars, in tents. Under bridges. Everywhere. And I love LA! I really do. But it's fake. Everything is fake. New York is real as fuck. Yeaaah. Almost too real. But I like it. You don't have to fuckin fake shit. People don't say “excuse me—“ No. You're never forced to say “good morning “ before you had your coffee! Yuh! New York is doing it right. People sleep on the train— But nobody lives on that motherfucker! I was in New York like a week before the shock wore off that there were not hundreds of individuals on every train wreaking of piss and smoking crack openly—YES—illicit drug use on trains in LA is extremely casual. Everything in LA is casual. People wear pajamas to work. Yeah—that. Everyone in New York looks like they're going to eat at a five-star restaurant. Like all the time. No socks-with-slides. EW. I swore to God socks with slides was a sign of the apocalypse; I get to New York, none of that—but the cringy thing in New York is Crocs With Socs. Now mmmm we're bi-coastal. Socks-with-slides; Crocs-with-socks. Knock that shit off. TACKY. other than that, though… NY is cool. It's chic. It's fun. You gotta be careful though. You gotta watch out. I thought LA drivers were crazy. New York drivers are fucking psychotic. Pedestrians don't have the right of way. At all. If you're in a crosswalk in LA even if the light is red, people will stop and let you go. In New York you better wait for the fuckin walk sign. They will kill you. It's okay. 6 millions ways to die: choose one! Just kidding. That's some west coast shit. But I did see a whole ass mural of Snoop Dogg in Brooklyn and get slightly confused— Till I realized everything on it was the color blue, and I was deadass in the middle of Brooklyn going “What? Ohhhhh! Wait! The Crips!” “Those guys are everywhere!” Lol. Its a nation wide disorganization. Lol. Whatever. I like New York. Doing my best not to love it, So the universe doesn't balance me out by showing me what to hate about it So far, so good New York drivers don't play. I never seen a school bus drift before! DAMN. Almost got hit by a short bus. Oh, the irony. I saw a dude do a whole ass wheelie on an electric scooter. Not a moped, by the way. An electric scooter. Yup. New Yoooooork. BEDFORD AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY. THE BAMPHERAMPHS have initiated SEQUENCE C I like New York. I gotta say. It IS like LA In the way that I know I can't live in New York if I'm not just filthy fucking rich. Cause, you know—there's still homelessness; But unlike in LA, where you just wander around, smelling like piss, begging for change— You freeze to death. A quick solution! Haha! (It's not funny.) but whatever. America. I thought I was leaving; I got trapped in the matrix. I was like “Fuck this place.” They're like: “stay! We need slaves!” I'm like FUCK. So I got stuck in New York. Ugh. At least it's a “free state” I made it north, ma! Not exactly the safest place to get stuck with no money, either, is it? Really nowhere is safe with no money. I mean, I know of some places south of the border you can live, basically free and just, you know—sleep in a hammock, sing for change and shit. Roam the beach. I know people that do that— it's just- I like showers. I don't love showers. Cause then, I'm sure God would find a way to take that away, too. I don't love anything anymore. Once you love something—it either goes away, or it burns you. Or both. Can't love things. Can't love people. No more love. Just—appreciate—things. Just—like—things, you know? Don't love anything. Speaking of suicidal tendencies. Hahah. You know what else is cool about New York? The trains actually come into the station fast enough to kill you. Like—you've had enough? Okay: here it is. Just to save you a trip to the Empire State Building. This train is coming in at 304 miles an hour and is somehow gonna stop in 3 seconds. —maybe 2 seconds, if you do jump— Better think fast! They almost come too fast, for suicide. Ready, set— Dammit. Missed it again. They're so fast. The trains in LA stopped going suicide-fast like, a couple years ago—maybe, just before the pandemic—I think. They're like “You know what! This is happening too often. I am ALWAYS late to my other two jobs ‘cause someone killed themselves on my train! Fuck!” LA's like: “Well fuck this, all the slaves are killing themselves on the trains.” “Damn, that sucks” LA's like “Yeah, okay so: here's what we do; we'll put up signs for a suicide hotline at the popular jumping points” “LA's like: okay” “And—we'll tell the train operators they gotta slow down coming into the station—“ “That'll do it!” “—that way, If they still do decide to jump, they'll just get paralyzed, and contribute to the opioid crisis: more funding for big pharma!” “Yes, it's genius!” “—unless they're black, or on Medicaid, then: we'll send em home with some ibuprofen and make sure they collect disability, so that they can become addicted to crack, or something like that —you know.” “Yes. That's perfect.” Good Job LA. I get lost in New York. I'll be on New York like “YO, WHERE THE FUCK AM I AT?” “In New York” GODDAMMIT. You know what else is weird about New York? Personal space is not a thing. I mean, “space” is not a thing at all, anyway. But “Personal space”? No. People will not only sit by you; The'll siT ON you. Yo. I had just got to New York— I had all my luggage with me— And this lady gets on the train; She's got a broom. Idk what for, but okay; She gets onto the train, She looks around, and I guess she decides she wants the seat next to me. So like I said, I have all my stuff l so I'm a little spread out, but there's room— But you know what she does? She looks me straight in the eye And then just hits me with her broom. I was like —-?!? I'm thinking, “Okay is she racist or is that just a New York thing?” Like, “you can just hit people with shit!? damn!” What's funny is, I kinda respected her for that. She was old. Didn't say a word, just “bam” Like—- ‘move!' I'm like “okay!” New York is so classy. Girls wear panty hose, and stockings. I'm like “wow, that's actually nice. That's so wholesome! Tights?! Yeah!” It's so classy. I don't think girls in LA even wear regular panties. Let alone panty hose. Get it—panty—Hoes. I see correlation. You know what else is cool about New York. It's less racist. I mean- There's so much diversity, there's almost no room to be racist. It's crazy. So many people. So many colors. So much culture. So many languages! I hear languages I can't even place. I thought I was good. I'm in LA, I'm like, “Okay, that's Chinese—“ “That's Japanese” “That's Korean” “Farsi” I get to New York— I'm in the Delicstessen. Thats another thing. Nothing like a real, New York delicatessen. That's what “deli” is short for, by the way, everyone not from New York. It's “delicatessen” Lol. Anyway. I'm standing in the Deli and I hear some shit that—I'm not gonna lie— was actually quite alarming, as a native English speaker. I'm standing there, and this guy behind me literally over my shoulder says, “Blooppnsmabhoan ammaoakb amansbaiL aannaoka snkaoakmnlblblblnlnl!!!!” I'm like what the FUCK. This isn't REAL. “Blblblana. Akakma alak Akakamaamna!” I'm shoooook. What IS that!!? I like New York. The girls aren't all evil soulless heart eating demons. They're just “regular” I have to run back to LA and tell all my guy friends, they're like “Women are evil” I'm like— “Nooo, that's just out here.” Maybe. I don't know. I like New York. I bet it's wonderful when it's warm. I don't know! Maybe that's when shit hits the fan! Maybe it's like Chicago. EVERYBODY DIES IN THE SUMMER— Who said that. Chance the Rapper, I think. I don't know. LEGENDS: FAMESCHOOL This move is called: The “Slap-Dicksuck.” [carefully taking notes] “slap-dick-suck”…okay… hmm.. Now, class. [raises hand curiously] Yes? Um. SUPACREE— —PROFESSOR SUPACREE. Um. Professor SUPACREE— Yes! Why is it called the “Slap-Dicksuck” I was about to explain that. //SLAP-DICKSUCK// NEXT: we learn THE “SLAP-DICKSUCK-SLAP” Let me guess. No, no guessing. This class is gross. I like it. Yeah, you're gross. The world is gross. Get over it. GET OVER IT, DILLON FRANCIS. *sniffes* Please, stop crying. She— *sniffles* It's okay, Dillon. She took my piñata! Your piñata set your house on fire. He sets—everything on fire— Have you ever stopped to think— —no— thinking is bad. Go get dressed. No, not today. You look like a bloated chicken nugget. —I used to like chicken nuggets. hey, Tofu daddy. This is sick. This is a sick bitch we're dealing with. I'm not dealing with anything, I quit. Quit, you can't quit. I just did. DEADMAU5 Okay, no more bodies. Ū Okay. No more bodies. DEADMAU5 Really? Ū —No. DEADMAU5 Goddammit, this is not a GAME. Ū It is a game, though—and I'm a damn good marksman. DEADMAU5 Dammit, you're right. Ū I'm always right. Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? I powered on my phone to find the digital clock exactly at 1:15, which had seemed to be creeping up again as a recurring theme, along with some other unsettling figurines—if it was a race against time, I was losing—and If, perhaps, a Holy War, I must have been some sort of Holy, as it had seemed the world's good graces had turned her back on me, and that faith dwindled more quickly in the cold than any other condition. Lay your head on my shoulder, Your cheek on my cheek, Wrap your arm round my waist, You can think what I think You can skate on thin ice You can sing what I sing And when the ice breaks; You can sink when I sink Come, take my hand— (I took off my ring) Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing Come, take my hand Let's sit on this swing Do you want to do a half, or a whole thing? It had been strange waves of everything—more than I was ready for and much more than intentionally took on, all things considered. I burned my tongue on piping hot oatmeal, trying to eat rather than write, as it seemed the time had come that I could no longer skip meals and properly function. Nearing thirty like a bullet—and at least metaphorically bleeding as if I had actually been shot, my heart and soul throbbing and gushing into a paralyzing twist or fears and woes, trapped in a foreign city with almost nothing to my name, lugging around my music equipment and very few belongings, which—when put away neatly even in the smallest room— seemed like almost nothing, but was certainly too much to carry around, especially alone. And I was, so very alone. Drake Bell and the Hollywood Spell My newest and strangest muse yet had again insisted on appearing into my dream world, for the third time, anyway—which seemed a cruel and almost disturbing subconscious attempt to conjur up what might have been the entirety of my energy to complete the 6th Season of Enter The Multiverse, at this point which had even interested me, reinvigorating my senses and at least partially restoring my faith in something, even if it was just Hollywood being Hollywood. But now, even miles away from Hollywoodland, and stranded far, far away with no conceivable way to find my way back, even if I did have a home there waiting for me—and there wasn't—there didn't seem to be a home anywhere for me at all, and with my money running well towards dry I had spent most the week dry heaving into panic attacks about where I would go, or what I would do/—especially dragging around all of my luggage and equipment, and while it was true my equipment could have easily found it's way into a pawn shop, to at least offset the impending homelessness by maybe a couple days, and a couple hundred dollars—it didn't seem quite worth it to sell my dream again, especially for the miserable existence of sharing a hostel room with whoever decided to snore or cough their way into my hellish realm of corporate slavery, lovelessness, and lack of privacy. Yes, my conciousness had summoned up this man into my dreamworld now three times, and for whatever reason, if there was one — I could consider it a charm. Had I not been working at the smokeshop what now seemed like ages ago, I might have forgotten entirely that such a person had ever existed—which I had, since the experience, for the record, at least tried to—but for some reason, disasterously couldnt; it had all awakened something serious and spiritual within my outer world, piquing my ultra conscious into a rare and bewildering curiosity that had done well to slay and murder the cat in all of its nine lives, and then some. It wasn't entirely on purpose, or without guilt that my mind seemed to inquisitively structure an entire hidden world and to form a strange and illicit bond with this fragile man creature, not that my social status or overwhelmingly average, unattractive, stranded and abandoned wastebasket of a demon, or diety whatever I was in whatever kind of light, would have much at all to do but suffer the result of having missed the bar by far, stumbling into the lower realms of the world by mere circumstance, on occasion, without notice. I was certainly thinking about it too much, and hating myself for it, a certain spark or inspiration for the Timmy Turner timelines met with the sudden flash of what may have even been a lost memory of not for all this Hollywood trauma, or dogma, whichever made sense—because none of it did, at all, besides to reverse what time had done by allowing me to forget my turbulent childhood, which couldn't matter anymore in this moment as it ever had; and though I was producing a fruitful workout at Equinox, squatting deeply into the Smith Machine and breathing deeply into my lower back, where the tension from the weight of my leftover skin met the pain in the whole of my torso, an apparent rush sent a splash of slobber out of the side of my mouth, my third eye a gaping and burning hole streaking heat across the middle of my forehead—all of a sudden the high of Nitrous Oxide filled my mind, if only for a moment—flung back into a memory nearly two decades old. “That's it.” I remembered thinking. “No more of this.” I sat down the can of keyboard cleaner on the bathroom floor. I had scared myself straight, long before I even knew what I was doing—and I didn't know at all, having been nine, or maybe 10–long before I would ever *want* to get high, not understanding that or why I needed to, anyway—or that getting “high” was what I was doing at all. No, at the time, it simply ‘felt really good', until it didn't—the particular memory which struck me in the dead center of the Equinox floor—and snapping back into my body, shaking myself out of it and leaning into the bar to stretch, taking in a deep breath and choking back an ocean of tears. “Idiot.” I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever Dreams Wil Be Dreams. Since departing LA, all my dreams had been strange, and I found myself growing more distant from myself, or from anything real at all, my dreams skewing into a horrid soundscape of rampant memories and false hopes of love. Finally able to seek refuge in meditation, I had been bombarded with images of Dillon Francis balancing some pretty little white girl in his lap—and though I couldn't quite unhinge the Amethyst from my possession, I had been giving it the distance I needed for something like peace of mind, without the actual peace itself at play. There had been quite the spell to break, and though it hadn't even been moderately broken—I at least knew now what magic I was dealing with. Dillon Hart Francis was a powerful magician—perhaps too powerful, and with that I took my strides into gatekeeping at the very least, since no peace could be made. I could love with a wholesome heart, but a tarnished mind and a gated soul would simply not outlast the infinite journey. Though I had been illicitly carfeful not to look him in the eye last we did meet, there was a remarkable force in place far beyond control—or at least my control— which kept such power from being apprehended; I had done my best to let go, knowing it was indeed a spell at play, and rather than a curse no need to worry or fear it's users intentions. Magic was a give-and-take, and so much had been at this point taken from me that the bruises of jealousy for whatever it was being waved about my psyche as ‘better than' could do no more than to rip the rest of my heart from its crevice as I pondered on what I might have done right, or might have done wrong—if there were such things. ‘White girls get all the love.' It was only true in my heart and my mind, and so it must have sat in my soul a certain way. I had never intended really to fall into what I had fallen into with Dillon Francis—not that it couldn't or wouldn't be undone, eventually, as I was inraveling myself into an unremarkable, unastonishing whisp — a fracture in time to do much less than even be though of, or forgotten. I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever A piece of my rock had shattered on the floor of the shower at Equinox—the only stone I kept for myself, and often forgotten about, as I did myself, not that i mattered much. It shattered unevenly into three pieces, one of which I left in the sauna, quickly before departing—and the other which I had dropped in Times Square, begrudgingly under the LCD American flag by which I felt betrayed: How could our nation not only allow, but create homelessness as a scare tactic to keep the working poor working as slaves, to saciate the wealthy's wants and needs? “Whatever.” I'm not going to hurt you, You can't hurt me anymore than I can hurt myself. I'm glad you know that. I don't know anything. Suicide fucking sucks. I know that. It might be time for me to go But I just want to let you know I still got love for you; And there's still hope; I left the door open I gotta go, you know, It's hopeless for some At the end of my rope —and it's a long way home, But it's home at the end It's home at the end of a long, lond road I took the wrong one, But at least now I know you I'll go on It seems that I still have a soul, somewhere I walked in on thin air, And now I'm here; I don't know where I'm still lost in your eyes I'll be in love with you forever LEGENDS EDDIE MURPHY opens the heavy Victorian style door, after three solid knocks from under the GLOVED HAND which lifts the golden-brass door knocker. To what do I owe the pleasure? WHOOPI GOLDBERG Business, not pleasure. -_- Well, which business. All of ‘em. [She gestures to pass through the doorway.] Please, come in. Coffee, or Tea? Coffee this late? [beat] Coffee. This is serious. You look serious. I've been—confined. Drake Bell, you son of a bitch. Oh, so you do know my name. I know all your names. So it is. So I am. — How'd you get in this? I've always been in this. What is “always”? How did you get in this? I am this. What a philosophy. Call it what you want. What if I don't. Then don't. See you on the other side. Someone once told me, the grass is much greener— on the other side. —and when I paid a visit, (It's possible I missed it) Seemed different, yet exactly the same. DILLON FRANCIS I didn't want it to end this way. I didn't want it to end. Well, it did. You let it. I had to. Just let go. No, I can't. Hah! What's so funny? You're fucking impossible. Nothing is “impossible” you said that. But you “can't” Let this go? Ah-hah. No. This here will keep slowly unwinding until there's no more. —and then what? There's no more. Damn. This is foul. Hm. Take a time out, Timmy. I'm a take a t-t-taxi I pay my t-t-taxes The actor and the actress. Oh, He's Big Hollywood; Doesn't Have a Job, But the work's real good – His lines are smooth and his days are long, Gotta make it right, For a whole lot of wrongs He's Big-Big Hollywood Doesn't have a job; But the work's real good Coming in hot, Like he's fresh out the box That's a real big nugget, With a whole lot of sauce. Stop. What. What is this. It's a song. This is awful. FUCK IT. I DON'T CARE. Damn, Oreos AND Ben & Jerry's?! IT'S DAIRY-FREE. Tf kind o f Oreos is that. They're GLuten FrEe. FUCK IT. Sunni, get a hold of yourself. YOU GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF. Stop yelling from across the room. I'LL YELL WHERE I WANT. Fuck this job. FUCK YOU MARIANNE. AGGHH. AGGHHHHHHHHH. Fuck What. What's up. I need a smoke break. I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEART OUT. YOU DOn'T HAVE A HEART. SHUT UP, DILLON FRANCIS. GOd. WHO INVITED HIM, ANYWAY. I didn't. NOBODY INVITED HIM. The inspiration to music hit at just the right and the wrong time—I had finally found my way to the butt machine, only after visiting every other floor and guessing incorrectly—only to make it to the machine in just enough time to realize that I was for some reason exhausted—perhaps having just blown my last fuse, realizing I was literally down to my last, few pennies— and, unknowing of how to escape the hole I had dug myself into, falling into a carful and unsecured ‘lust' with New York, surely never to fall in love with another city as I had LA, learning my lessons well, and knowing all too well that nowhere and no one like me was safe from homelessness in the US—now having proven itself to be a hostile entity, in a full police state. It didn't seem to matter, though, as I had narrowly missed my escape nearly on purpose, but not— it seemed something entirely outward was keeping me at bay and in the US, not that I had wanted to leave out of fear for my life as much as I wanted adventure and exploration—but either way was going nowhere at all fast, and running out or money even faster. “Fuck, I hate my life” I had probably over caffeinated, at least half the reason I couldn't budge to top speed, even blasting bangarang into my eardrums at nearly top volume—this day, it only emotionally weakened me, having demoted myself entirely from any sort of elite status, back into the realm of obsessive fandom, and perhaps even schizophrenia, we Dane Cook's shenanigans. Yeah, I'm tired and I need to take like ten shits. Just finish then. If I leave early I have to come back early. Well, go, then. Muscle fatigue, check Dehydration, check Psyche completely shattered Check. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Episode one hundred and fifty-three of A History of Rock Music in Five Hundred Songs looks at “Heroes and Villains” by the Beach Boys, and the collapse of the Smile album. Click the full post to read liner notes, links to more information, and a transcript of the episode. Patreon backers also have a sixteen-minute bonus episode available, on "I Had Too Much to Dream Last Night" by the Electric Prunes. Tilt Araiza has assisted invaluably by doing a first-pass edit, and will hopefully be doing so from now on. Check out Tilt's irregular podcasts at http://www.podnose.com/jaffa-cakes-for-proust and http://sitcomclub.com/ Resources There is no Mixcloud this week, because there were too many Beach Boys songs in the episode. I used many resources for this episode. As well as the books I referred to in all the Beach Boys episodes, listed below, I used Domenic Priore's book Smile: The Story of Brian Wilson's Lost Masterpiece and Richard Henderson's 33 1/3 book on Van Dyke Parks' Song Cycle. Stephen McParland has published many, many books on the California surf and hot-rod music scenes, including several on both the Beach Boys and Gary Usher.  His books can be found at https://payhip.com/CMusicBooks Andrew Doe's Bellagio 10452 site is an invaluable resource. Jon Stebbins' The Beach Boys FAQ is a good balance between accuracy and readability. And Philip Lambert's Inside the Music of Brian Wilson is an excellent, though sadly out of print, musicological analysis of Wilson's music from 1962 through 67. Catch a Wave: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson by Peter Ames Carlin is the best biography of Wilson. I have also referred to Brian Wilson's autobiography, I Am Brian Wilson, and to Mike Love's, Good Vibrations: My Life as a Beach Boy. As a good starting point for the Beach Boys' music in general, I would recommend this budget-priced three-CD set, which has a surprisingly good selection of their material on it, including the single version of “Heroes and Villains”. The box set The Smile Sessions  contains an attempt to create a finished album from the unfinished sessions, plus several CDs of outtakes and session material. Transcript [Opening -- "intro to the album" studio chatter into "Our Prayer"] Before I start, I'd just like to note that this episode contains some discussion of mental illness, including historical negative attitudes towards it, so you may want to check the transcript or skip this one if that might be upsetting. In November and December 1966, the filmmaker David Oppenheim and the conductor and composer Leonard Bernstein collaborated on a TV film called "Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution".  The film was an early attempt at some of the kinds of things this podcast is doing, looking at how music and social events interact and evolve, though it was dealing with its present rather than the past. The film tried to cast as wide a net as possible in its fifty-one minutes. It looked at two bands from Manchester -- the Hollies and Herman's Hermits -- and how the people identified as their leaders, "Herman" (or Peter Noone) and Graham Nash, differed on the issue of preventing war: [Excerpt: Inside Pop, the Rock Revolution] And it made a star of East Coast teenage singer-songwriter Janis Ian with her song about interracial relationships, "Society's Child": [Excerpt: Janis Ian, "Society's Child"] And Bernstein spends a significant time, as one would expect, analysing the music of the Beatles and to a lesser extent the Stones, though they don't appear in the show. Bernstein does a lot to legitimise the music just by taking it seriously as a subject for analysis, at a time when most wouldn't: [Excerpt: Leonard Bernstein talking about "She Said She Said"] You can't see it, obviously, but in the clip that's from, as the Beatles recording is playing, Bernstein is conducting along with the music, as he would a symphony orchestra, showing where the beats are falling. But of course, given that this was filmed in the last two months of 1966, the vast majority of the episode is taken up with musicians from the centre of the music world at that time, LA. The film starts with Bernstein interviewing Tandyn Almer,  a jazz-influenced songwriter who had recently written the big hit "Along Comes Mary" for The Association: [Excerpt: Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution] It featured interviews with Roger McGuinn, and with the protestors at the Sunset Strip riots which were happening contemporaneously with the filming: [Excerpt: Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution] Along with Frank Zappa's rather acerbic assessment of the potential of the youth revolutionaries: [Excerpt: Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution] And ended (other than a brief post-commercial performance over the credits by the Hollies) with a performance by Tim Buckley, whose debut album, as we heard in the last episode, had featured Van Dyke Parks and future members of the Mothers of Invention and Buffalo Springfield: [Excerpt: Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution] But for many people the highlight of the film was the performance that came right before Buckley's, film of Brian Wilson playing a new song from the album he was working on. One thing I should note -- many sources say that the voiceover here is Bernstein. My understanding is that Bernstein wrote and narrated the parts of the film he was himself in, and Oppenheim did all the other voiceover writing and narration, but that Oppenheim's voice is similar enough to Bernstein's that people got confused about this: [Excerpt: Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution] That particular piece of footage was filmed in December 1966, but it wasn't broadcast until April the twenty-fifth, 1967, an eternity in mid-sixties popular music. When it was broadcast, that album still hadn't come out. Precisely one week later, the Beach Boys' publicist Derek Taylor announced that it never would: [Excerpt: Brian Wilson, "Surf's Up"] One name who has showed up in a handful of episodes recently, but who we've not talked that much about, is Van Dyke Parks. And in a story with many, many, remarkable figures, Van Dyke Parks may be one of the most remarkable of all. Long before he did anything that impinges on the story of rock music, Parks had lived the kind of life that would be considered unbelievable were it to be told as fiction. Parks came from a family that mixed musical skill, political progressiveness, and achievement. His mother was a scholar of Hebrew, while his father was a neurologist, the first doctor to admit Black patients to a white Southern hospital, and had paid his way through college leading a dance band. Parks' father was also, according to the 33 1/3 book on Song Cycle, a member of "John Philip Sousa's Sixty Silver Trumpets", but literally every reference I can find to Sousa leading a band of that name goes back to that book, so I've no idea what he was actually a member of, but we can presume he was a reasonable musician. Young Van Dyke started playing the clarinet at four, and was also a singer from a very early age, as well as playing several other instruments. He went to the American Boychoir School in Princeton, to study singing, and while there he sang with Toscaninni, Thomas Beecham, and other immensely important conductors of the era. He also had a very special accompanist for one Christmas carolling session. The choir school was based in Princeton, and one of the doors he knocked on while carolling was that of Princeton's most famous resident, Albert Einstein, who heard the young boy singing "Silent Night", and came out with his violin and played along. Young Van Dyke was only interested in music, but he was also paying the bills for his music tuition himself -- he had a job. He was a TV star. From the age of ten, he started getting roles in TV shows -- he played the youngest son in the 1953 sitcom Bonino, about an opera singer, which flopped because it aired opposite the extremely popular Jackie Gleason Show. He would later also appear in that show, as one of several child actors who played the character of Little Tommy Manicotti, and he made a number of other TV appearances, as well as having a small role in Grace Kelly's last film, The Swan, with Alec Guinness and Louis Jourdain. But he never liked acting, and just did it to pay for his education. He gave it up when he moved on to the Carnegie Institute, where he majored in composition and performance. But then in his second year, his big brother Carson asked him to drop out and move to California. Carson Parks had been part of the folk scene in California for a few years at this point. He and a friend had formed a duo called the Steeltown Two, but then both of them had joined the folk group the Easy Riders, a group led by Terry Gilkyson. Before Carson Parks joined, the Easy Riders had had a big hit with their version of "Marianne", a calypso originally by the great calypsonian Roaring Lion: [Excerpt: The Easy Riders, "Marianne"] They hadn't had many other hits, but their songs became hits for other people -- Gilkyson wrote several big hits for Frankie Laine, and the Easy Riders were the backing vocalists on Dean Martin's recording of a song they wrote, "Memories are Made of This": [Excerpt: Dean Martin and the Easy Riders, "Memories are Made of This"] Carson Parks hadn't been in the group at that point -- he only joined after they'd stopped having success -- and eventually the group had split up. He wanted to revive his old duo, the Steeltown Two, and persuaded his family to let his little brother Van Dyke drop out of university and move to California to be the other half of the duo. He wanted Van Dyke to play guitar, while he played banjo. Van Dyke had never actually played guitar before, but as Carson Parks later said "in 90 days, he knew more than most folks know after many years!" Van Dyke moved into an apartment adjoining his brother's, owned by Norm Botnick, who had until recently been the principal viola player in a film studio orchestra, before the film studios all simultaneously dumped their in-house orchestras in the late fifties, so was a more understanding landlord than most when it came to the lifestyles of musicians. Botnick's sons, Doug and Bruce, later went into sound engineering -- we've already encountered Bruce Botnick in the episode on the Doors, and he will be coming up again in the future. The new Steeltown Two didn't make any records, but they developed a bit of a following in the coffeehouses, and they also got a fair bit of session work, mostly through Terry Gilkyson, who was by that point writing songs for Disney and would hire them to play on sessions for his songs. And it was Gilkyson who both brought Van Dyke Parks the worst news of his life to that point, and in doing so also had him make his first major mark on music. Gilkyson was the one who informed Van Dyke that another of his brothers, Benjamin Riley Parks, had died in what was apparently a car accident. I say it was apparently an accident because Benjamin Riley Parks was at the time working for the US State Department, and there is apparently also some evidence that he was assassinated in a Cold War plot. Gilkyson also knew that neither Van Dyke nor Carson Parks had much money, so in order to help them afford black suits and plane tickets to and from the funeral, Gilkyson hired Van Dyke to write the arrangement for a song he had written for an upcoming Disney film: [Excerpt: Jungle Book soundtrack, "The Bare Necessities"] The Steeltown Two continued performing, and soon became known as the Steeltown Three, with the addition of a singer named Pat Peyton. The Steeltown Three recorded two singles, "Rock Mountain", under that group name: [Excerpt: The Steeltown Three, "Rock Mountain"] And a version of "San Francisco Bay" under the name The South Coasters, which I've been unable to track down. Then the three of them, with the help of Terry Gilkyson, formed a larger group in the style of the New Christy Minstrels -- the Greenwood County Singers. Indeed, Carson Parks would later claim that  Gilkyson had had the idea first -- that he'd mentioned that he'd wanted to put together a group like that to Randy Sparks, and Sparks had taken the idea and done it first. The Greenwood County Singers had two minor hot one hundred hits, only one of them while Van Dyke was in the band -- "The New 'Frankie and Johnny' Song", a rewrite by Bob Gibson and Shel Silverstein of the old traditional song "Frankie and Johnny": [Excerpt: The Greenwood County Singers, "The New Frankie and Johnny Song"] They also recorded several albums together, which gave Van Dyke the opportunity to practice his arrangement skills, as on this version of  "Vera Cruz" which he arranged: [Excerpt: The Greenwood County Singers, "Vera Cruz"] Some time before their last album, in 1965, Van Dyke left the Greenwood County Singers, and was replaced by Rick Jarrard, who we'll also be hearing more about in future episodes. After that album, the group split up, but Carson Parks would go on to write two big hits in the next few years. The first and biggest was a song he originally wrote for a side project. His future wife Gaile Foote was also a Greenwood County Singer, and the two of them thought they might become folk's answer to Sonny and Cher or Nino Tempo and April Stevens: [Excerpt: Carson and Gaile, "Somethin' Stupid"] That obviously became a standard after it was covered by Frank and Nancy Sinatra. Carson Parks also wrote "Cab Driver", which in 1968 became the last top thirty hit for the Mills Brothers, the 1930s vocal group we talked about way way back in episode six: [Excerpt: The Mills Brothers, "Cab Driver"] Meanwhile Van Dyke Parks was becoming part of the Sunset Strip rock and roll world. Now, until we get to 1967, Parks has something of a tangled timeline. He worked with almost every band around LA in a short period, often working with multiple people simultaneously, and nobody was very interested in keeping detailed notes. So I'm going to tell this as a linear story, but be aware it's very much not -- things I say in five minutes might happen after, or in the same week as, things I say in half an hour. At some point in either 1965 or 1966 he joined the Mothers of Invention for a brief while. Nobody is entirely sure when this was, and whether it was before or after their first album. Some say it was in late 1965, others in August 1966, and even the kind of fans who put together detailed timelines are none the wiser, because no recordings have so far surfaced of Parks with the band. Either is plausible, and the Mothers went through a variety of keyboard players at this time -- Zappa had turned to his jazz friend Don Preston, but found Preston was too much of a jazzer and told him to come back when he could play "Louie Louie" convincingly, asked Mac Rebennack to be in the band but sacked him pretty much straight away for drug use, and eventually turned to Preston again once Preston had learned to rock and roll. Some time in that period, Van Dyke Parks was a Mother, playing electric harpsichord. He may even have had more than one stint in the group -- Zappa said "Van Dyke Parks played electric harpsichord in and out." It seems likely, though, that it was in summer of 1966, because in an interview published in Teen Beat Magazine in December 66, but presumably conducted a few months prior, Zappa was asked to describe the band members in one word each and replied: "Ray—Mahogany Roy—Asbestos Jim—Mucilage Del—Acetate Van Dyke—Pinocchio Billy—Boom I don't know about the rest of the group—I don't even know about these guys." Sources differ as to why Parks didn't remain in the band -- Parks has said that he quit after a short time because he didn't like being shouted at, while Zappa said "Van Dyke was not a reliable player. He didn't make it to rehearsal on time and things like that." Both may be true of course, though I've not heard anyone else ever criticise Parks for his reliability. But then also Zappa had much more disciplinarian standards than most rock band leaders. It's possibly either through Zappa that he met Tom Wilson, or through Tom Wilson that he met Frank Zappa, but either way Parks, like the Mothers of Invention, was signed to MGM records in 1966, where he released two solo singles co-produced by Wilson and an otherwise obscure figure named Tim Alvorado. The first was "Number Nine", which we heard last week, backed with "Do What You Wanta": [Excerpt: Van Dyke Parks, "Do What You Wanta"] At least one source I've read says that the lyrics to "Do What You Wanta" were written not by Parks but by his friend Danny Hutton, but it's credited as a Parks solo composition on the label. It was after that that the Van Dyke Parks band -- or as they were sometimes billed, just The Van Dyke Parks formed, as we discussed last episode, based around Parks, Steve Stills, and Steve Young, and they performed a handful of shows with bass player Bobby Rae and drummer Walt Sparman, playing a mix of original material, primarily Parks' songs, and covers of things like "Dancing in the Street". The one contemporaneous review of a live show I've seen talks about  the girls in the audience screaming and how "When rhythm guitarist Steve Stillman imitated the Barry McGuire emotional scene, they almost went wiggy". But The Van Dyke Parks soon split up, and Parks the individual recorded his second single, "Come to the Sunshine": [Excerpt: Van Dyke Parks, "Come to the Sunshine"] Around the time he left the Greenwood County Singers, Van Dyke Parks also met Brian Wilson for the first time, when David Crosby took him up to Wilson's house to hear an acetate of the as-yet-unreleased track "Sloop John B". Parks was impressed by Wilson's arrangement techniques, and in particular the way he was orchestrating instrumental combinations that you couldn't do with a standard live room setup, that required overdubbing and close-micing. He said later "The first stuff I heard indicated this kind of curiosity for the recording experience, and when I went up to see him in '65 I don't even think he had the voices on yet, but I heard that long rotational breathing, that long flute ostinato at the beginning... I knew this man was a great musician." [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Sloop John B (instrumental)"] In most of 1966, though, Parks was making his living as a session keyboard player and arranger, and much of the work he was getting was through Lenny Waronker. Waronker was a second-generation music industry professional. His father, Si Waronker, had been a violinist in the Twentieth Century Fox studio orchestra before founding Liberty Records (the label which indirectly led to him becoming immortalised in children's entertainment, when Liberty Records star David Seville named his Chipmunk characters after three Liberty executives, with Simon being Si Waronker's full forename). The first release on Liberty Records had been a version of "The Girl Upstairs", an instrumental piece from the Fox film The Seven-Year Itch. The original recording of that track, for the film, had been done by the Twentieth Century Fox Orchestra, written and conducted by Alfred Newman, the musical director for Fox: [Excerpt: Alfred Newman, "The Girl Upstairs"] Liberty's soundalike version was conducted by Newman's brother Lionel, a pianist at the studio who later became Fox's musical director for TV, just as his brother was for film, but who also wrote many film scores himself. Another Newman brother, Emil, was also a film composer, but the fourth brother, Irving, had gone into medicine instead. However, Irving's son Randy wanted to follow in the family business, and he and Lenny Waronker, who was similarly following his own father by working for Liberty Records' publishing subsidiary Metric Music, had been very close friends ever since High School. Waronker got Newman signed to Metric Music, where he wrote "They Tell Me It's Summer" for the Fleetwoods: [Excerpt: The Fleetwoods, "They Tell Me It's Summer"] Newman also wrote and recorded a single of his own in 1962, co-produced by Pat Boone: [Excerpt: Randy Newman, "Golden Gridiron Boy"] Before deciding he wasn't going to make it as a singer and had better just be a professional songwriter. But by 1966 Waronker had moved on from Metric to Warner Brothers, and become a junior A&R man. And he was put in charge of developing the artists that Warners had acquired when they had bought up a small label, Autumn Records. Autumn Records was a San Francisco-based label whose main producer, Sly Stone, had now moved on to other things after producing the hit record "Laugh Laugh" for the Beau Brummels: [Excerpt: The Beau Brummels, "Laugh Laugh"] The Beau Brummels  had had another hit after that and were the main reason that Warners had bought the label, but their star was fading a little. Stone had also been mentoring several other groups, including the Tikis and the Mojo Men, who all had potential. Waronker gathered around himself a sort of brains trust of musicians who he trusted as songwriters, arrangers, and pianists -- Randy Newman, the session pianist Leon Russell, and Van Dyke Parks. Their job was to revitalise the career of the Beau Brummels, and to make both the Tikis and the Mojo Men into successes. The tactic they chose was, in Waronker's words, “Go in with a good song and weird it out.” The first good song they tried weirding out was in late 1966, when Leon Russell came up with a clarinet-led arrangement of Paul Simon's "59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy)" for the Tikis, who performed it but who thought that their existing fanbase wouldn't accept something so different, so it was put out under another name, suggested by Parks, Harpers Bizarre: [Excerpt: Harpers Bizarre, "Feeling Groovy"] Waronker said of Parks and Newman “They weren't old school guys. They were modern characters but they had old school values regarding certain records that needed to be made, certain artists who needed to be heard regardless. So there was still that going on. The fact that ‘Feeling Groovy' was a number 10 hit nationwide and ‘Sit Down, I Think I Love You'  made the Top 30 on Western regional radio, that gave us credibility within the company. One hit will do wonders, two allows you to take chances.” We heard "Sit Down, I Think I Love You" last episode -- that's the song by Parks' old friend Stephen Stills that Parks arranged for the Mojo Men: [Excerpt: The Mojo Men, "Sit Down, I Think I Love You"] During 1966 Parks also played on Tim Buckley's first album, as we also heard last episode: [Excerpt: Tim Buckley, "Aren't You the Girl?"] And he also bumped into Brian Wilson on occasion, as they were working a lot in the same studios and had mutual friends like Loren Daro and Danny Hutton, and he suggested the cello part on "Good Vibrations". Parks also played keyboards on "5D" by the Byrds: [Excerpt: The Byrds, "5D (Fifth Dimension)"] And on the Spirit of '67 album for Paul Revere and the Raiders, produced by the Byrds' old producer Terry Melcher. Parks played keyboards on much of the album, including the top five hit "Good Thing": [Excerpt: Paul Revere and the Raiders, "Good Thing"] But while all this was going on, Parks was also working on what would become the work for which he was best known. As I've said, he'd met Brian Wilson on a few occasions, but it wasn't until summer 1966 that the two were formally introduced by Terry Melcher, who knew that Wilson needed a new songwriting collaborator, now Tony Asher's sabbatical from his advertising job was coming to an end, and that Wilson wanted someone who could do work that was a bit more abstract than the emotional material that he had been writing with Asher. Melcher invited both of them to a party at his house on Cielo Drive -- a house which would a few years later become notorious -- which was also attended by many of the young Hollywood set of the time. Nobody can remember exactly who was at the party, but Parks thinks it was people like Jack Nicholson and Peter and Jane Fonda. Parks and Wilson hit it off, with Wilson saying later "He seemed like a really articulate guy, like he could write some good lyrics". Parks on the other hand was delighted to find that Wilson "liked Les Paul, Spike Jones, all of these sounds that I liked, and he was doing it in a proactive way." Brian suggested Parks write the finished lyrics for "Good Vibrations", which was still being recorded at this time, and still only had Tony Asher's dummy lyrics,  but Parks was uninterested. He said that it would be best if he and Brian collaborate together on something new from scratch, and Brian agreed. The first time Parks came to visit Brian at Brian's home, other than the visit accompanying Crosby the year before, he was riding a motorbike -- he couldn't afford a car -- and forgot to bring his driver's license with him. He was stopped by a police officer who thought he looked too poor to be in the area, but Parks persuaded the police officer that if he came to the door, Brian Wilson would vouch for him. Brian got Van Dyke out of any trouble because the cop's sister was a Beach Boys fan, so he autographed an album for her. Brian and Van Dyke talked for a while. Brian asked if Van Dyke needed anything to help his work go smoothly, and Van Dyke said he needed a car. Brian asked what kind. Van Dyke said that Volvos were supposed to be pretty safe. Brian asked how much they cost. Van Dyke said he thought they were about five thousand dollars. Brian called up his office and told them to get a cheque delivered to Van Dyke for five thousand dollars the next day, instantly earning Van Dyke's loyalty. After that, they got on with work. To start with, Brian played Van Dyke a melody he'd been working on, a melody based on a descending scale starting on the fourth: [Plays "Heroes and Villains" melody] Parks told Wilson that the melody reminded him vaguely of Marty Robbins' country hit "El Paso" from 1959, a song about a gunfighter, a cantina, and a dancing woman: [Excerpt: Marty Robbins, "El Paso"] Wilson said that he had been thinking along the same lines, a sort of old west story, and thought maybe it should be called "Heroes and Villains". Parks started writing, matching syllables to Wilson's pre-conceived melody -- "I've been in this town so long that back in the city I've been taken for lost and gone and unknown for a long, long time" [Excerpt: Brian Wilson and Van Dyke Parks, "Heroes and Villains demo"] As Parks put it "The engine had started. It was very much ad hoc. Seat of the pants. Extemporaneous values were enforced. Not too much precommitment to ideas. Or, if so, equally pursuing propinquity." Slowly, over the next several months, while the five other Beach Boys were touring, Brian and Van Dyke refined their ideas about what the album they were writing, initially called Dumb Angel but soon retitled Smile, should be. For Van Dyke Parks it was an attempt to make music about America and American mythology. He was disgusted, as a patriot, with the Anglophilia that had swept the music industry since the arrival of the Beatles in America two and a half years earlier, particularly since that had happened so soon after the deaths both of President Kennedy and of Parks' own brother who was working for the government at the time he died. So for him, the album was about America, about Plymouth Rock, the Old West, California, and Hawaii. It would be a generally positive version of the country's myth, though it would of course also acknowledge the bloodshed on which the country had been built: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Bicycle Rider" section] As he put it later "I was dead set on centering my life on the patriotic ideal. I was a son of the American revolution, and there was blood on the tracks. Recent blood, and it was still drying. The whole record seemed like a real effort toward figuring out what Manifest Destiny was all about. We'd come as far as we could, as far as Horace Greeley told us to go. And so we looked back and tried to make sense of that great odyssey." Brian had some other ideas -- he had been studying the I Ching, and Subud, and he wanted to do something about the four classical elements, and something religious -- his ideas were generally rather unfocused at the time, and he had far more ideas than he knew what to usefully do with. But he was also happy with the idea of a piece about America, which fit in with his own interest in "Rhapsody in Blue", a piece that was about America in much the same way. "Rhapsody in Blue" was an inspiration for Brian primarily in how it weaved together variations on themes. And there are two themes that between them Brian was finding endless variations on. The first theme was a shuffling between two chords a fourth away from each other. [demonstrates G to C on guitar] Where these chords are both major, that's the sequence for "Fire": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow/Fire"] For the "Who ran the Iron Horse?" section of "Cabin Essence": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Cabinessence"] For "Vegetables": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Vegetables"] And more. Sometimes this would be the minor supertonic and dominant seventh of the key, so in C that would be Dm to G7: [Plays Dm to G7 fingerpicked] That's the "bicycle rider" chorus we heard earlier, which was part of a song known as "Roll Plymouth Rock" or "Do You Like Worms": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Bicycle Rider"] But which later became a chorus for "Heroes and Villains": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Heroes and Villains"] But that same sequence is also the beginning of "Wind Chimes": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Wind Chimes"] The "wahalla loo lay" section of "Roll Plymouth Rock": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Roll Plymouth Rock"] And others, but most interestingly, the minor-key rearrangement of "You Are My Sunshine" as "You Were My Sunshine": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "You Were My Sunshine"] I say that's most interesting, because that provides a link to another of the major themes which Brian was wringing every drop out of, a phrase known as "How Dry I Am", because of its use under those words in an Irving Berlin song, which was a popular barbershop quartet song but is now best known as a signifier of drunkenness in Looney Tunes cartoons: [Excerpt: Daffy Duck singing "How Dry I Am" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap4MMn7LpzA ] The phrase is a common one in early twentieth century music, especially folk and country, as it's made up of notes in the pentatonic scale -- it's the fifth, first, second, and third of the scale, in that order: [demonstrates "How Dry I Am"] And so it's in the melody to "This Land is Your Land", for example, a song which is very much in the same spirit of progressive Americana in which Van Dyke Parks was thinking: [Excerpt: Woody Guthrie, "This Land is Your Land"] It's also the start of the original melody of "You Are My Sunshine": [Excerpt: Jimmie Davis, "You Are My Sunshine" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYvgNEU4Am8] Brian rearranged that melody when he stuck it into a minor key, so it's no longer "How Dry I Am" in the Beach Boys version, but if you play the "How Dry I Am" notes in a different rhythm, you get this: [Plays "He Gives Speeches" melody] Which is the start of the melody to "He Gives Speeches": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "He Gives Speeches"] Play those notes backwards, you get: [Plays "He Gives Speeches" melody backwards] Do that and add onto the end a passing sixth and then the tonic, and then you get: [Plays that] Which is the vocal *countermelody* in "He Gives Speeches": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "He Gives Speeches"] And also turns up in some versions of "Heroes and Villains": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Heroes and Villains (alternate version)"] And so on. Smile was an intricate web of themes and variations, and it incorporated motifs from many sources, both the great American songbook and the R&B of Brian's youth spent listening to Johnny Otis' radio show. There were bits of "Gee" by the Crows, of "Twelfth Street Rag", and of course, given that this was Brian Wilson, bits of Phil Spector. The backing track to the verse of "Heroes and Villains": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Heroes and Villains"] Owed more than a little to a version of "Save the Last Dance For Me" that Spector had produced for Ike and Tina Turner: [Excerpt: Ike and Tina Turner, "Save the Last Dance For Me"] While one version of the song “Wonderful” contained a rather out-of-place homage to Etta James and “The Wallflower”: [Excerpt: “Wonderful (Rock With Me Henry)”] As the recording continued, it became more and more obvious that the combination of these themes and variations was becoming a little too much for Brian.  Many of the songs he was working on were made up of individual modules that he was planning to splice together the way he had with "Good Vibrations", and some modules were getting moved between tracks, as he tried to structure the songs in the edit. He'd managed it with "Good Vibrations", but this was an entire album, not just a single, and it was becoming more and more difficult. David Anderle, who was heading up the record label the group were looking at starting, would talk about Brian playing him acetates with sections edited together one way, and thinking it was perfect, and obviously the correct way to put them together, the only possible way, and then hearing the same sections edited together in a different way, and thinking *that* was perfect, and obviously the correct way to put them together. But while a lot of the album was modular, there were also several complete songs with beginnings, middles, ends, and structures, even if they were in several movements. And those songs showed that if Brian could just get the other stuff right, the album could be very, very, special. There was "Heroes and Villains" itself, of course, which kept changing its structure but was still based around the same basic melody and story that Brian and Van Dyke had come up with on their first day working together. There was also "Wonderful", a beautiful, allusive, song about innocence lost and regained: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Wonderful"] And there was CabinEssence, a song which referenced yet another classic song, this time "Home on the Range", to tell a story of idyllic rural life and of the industrialisation which came with westward expansion: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "CabinEssence"] The arrangement for that song inspired Van Dyke Parks to make a very astute assessment of Brian Wilson. He said later "He knew that he had to adhere to the counter-culture, and I knew that I had to. I think that he was about as estranged from it as I was.... At the same time, he didn't want to lose that kind of gauche sensibility that he had. He was doing stuff that nobody would dream of doing. You would never, for example, use one string on a banjo when you had five; it just wasn't done. But when I asked him to bring a banjo in, that's what he did. This old-style plectrum thing. One string. That's gauche." Both Parks and Wilson were both drawn to and alienated from the counterculture, but in very different ways, and their different ways of relating to the counterculture created the creative tension that makes the Smile project so interesting. Parks is fundamentally a New Deal Liberal, and was excited by the progresssive nature of the counterculture, but also rather worried about its tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and to ignore the old in pursuit of the new. He was an erudite, cultured, sophisticated man who thought that there was value to be found in the works and attitudes of the past, even as one must look to the future. He was influenced by the beat poets and the avant garde art of the time, but also said of his folk music period "A harpist would bring his harp with him and he would play and recite a story which had been passed down the generations. This particular legacy continued through Arthurian legend, and then through the Middle Ages, and even into the nineteenth century. With all these songs, half of the story was the lyrics, and the folk songs were very interesting. They were tremendously thought-driven songs; there was nothing confusing about that. Even when the Kingston Trio came out -- and Brian has already admitted his debt to the Kingston Trio -- 'Tom Dooley', the story of a murder most foul 'MTA' an urban nightmare -- all of this thought-driven music was perfectly acceptable.  It was more than a teenage romantic crisis." Brian Wilson, on the other hand, was anything *but* sophisticated. He is a simple man in the best sense of the term -- he likes what he likes, doesn't like what he doesn't like, and has no pretensions whatsoever about it. He is, at heart, a middle-class middle-American brought up in suburbia, with a taste for steaks and hamburgers, broad physical comedy, baseball, and easy listening music. Where Van Dyke Parks was talking about "thought-driven music", Wilson's music, while thoughtful, has always been driven by feelings first and foremost. Where Parks is influenced by Romantic composers like Gottschalk but is fundamentally a craftsman, a traditionalist, a mason adding his work to a cathedral whose construction started before his birth and will continue after his death, Wilson's music has none of the stylistic hallmarks of Romantic music, but in its inspiration it is absolutely Romantic -- it is the immediate emotional expression of the individual, completely unfiltered. When writing his own lyrics in later years Wilson would come up with everything from almost haiku-like lyrics like "I'm a leaf on a windy day/pretty soon I'll be blown away/How long with the wind blow?/Until I die" to "He sits behind his microphone/Johnny Carson/He speaks in such a manly tone/Johnny Carson", depending on whether at the time his prime concern was existential meaninglessness or what was on the TV. Wilson found the new counterculture exciting, but was also very aware he didn't fit in. He was developing a new group of friends, the hippest of the hip in LA counterculture circles -- the singer Danny Hutton, Mark Volman of the Turtles, the writers Michael Vosse and Jules Siegel, scenester and record executive David Anderle -- but there was always the underlying implication that at least some of these people regarded him as, to use an ableist term but one which they would probably have used, an idiot savant. That they thought of him, as his former collaborator Tony Asher would later uncharitably put it, as "a genius musician but an amateur human being". So for example when Siegel brought the great postmodern novelist Thomas Pynchon to visit Brian, both men largely sat in silence, unable to speak to each other; Pynchon because he tended to be a reactive person in conversation and would wait for the other person to initiate topics of discussion, Brian because he was so intimidated by Pynchon's reputation as a great East Coast intellectual that he was largely silent for fear of making a fool of himself. It was this gaucheness, as Parks eventually put it, and Parks' understanding that this was actually a quality to be cherished and the key to Wilson's art, that eventually gave the title to the most ambitious of the complete songs the duo were working on. They had most of the song -- a song about the power of music, the concept of enlightenment, and the rise and fall of civilisations: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Surf's Up"] But Parks hadn't yet quite finished the lyric. The Beach Boys had been off on tour for much of Brian and Van Dyke's collaboration, and had just got back from their first real tour of the UK, where Pet Sounds had been a smash hit, rather than the middling success it had been in the US, and "Good Vibrations" had just become their first number one single. Brian and Van Dyke played the song for Brian's brother Dennis, the Beach Boys' drummer, and the band member most in tune with Brian's musical ambitions at this time. Dennis started crying, and started talking about how the British audiences had loved their music, but had laughed at their on-stage striped-shirt uniforms. Parks couldn't tell if he was crying because of the beauty of the unfinished song, the humiliation he had suffered in Britain, or both. Dennis then asked what the name of the song was, and as Parks later put it "Although it was the most gauche factor, and although maybe Brian thought it was the most dispensable thing, I thought it was very important to continue to use the name and keep the elephant in the room -- to keep the surfing image but to sensitise it to new opportunities. One of these would be an eco-consciousness; it would be speaking about the greening of the Earth, aboriginal people, how we had treated the Indians, taking on those things and putting them into the thoughts that come with the music. That was a solution to the relevance of the group, and I wanted the group to be relevant." Van Dyke had decided on a title: "Surf's Up": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Surf's Up"] As the group were now back from their tour, the focus for recording shifted from the instrumental sessions to vocal ones. Parks had often attended the instrumental sessions, as he was an accomplished musician and arranger himself, and would play on the sessions, but also wanted to learn from what Brian was doing -- he's stated later that some of his use of tuned percussion in the decades since, for example, has come from watching Brian's work. But while he was also a good singer, he was not a singer in the same style as the Beach Boys, and they certainly didn't need his presence at those sessions, so he continued to work on his lyrics, and to do his arrangement and session work for other artists, while they worked in the studio. He was also, though, starting to distance himself from Brian for other reasons. At the start of the summer, Brian's eccentricity and whimsy had seemed harmless -- indeed, the kind of thing he was doing, such as putting his piano in a sandbox so he could feel the sand with his feet while he wrote, seems very much on a par with Maureen Cleave's descriptions of John Lennon in the same period. They were two newly-rich, easily bored, young men with low attention spans and high intelligence who could become deeply depressed when understimulated and so would get new ideas into their heads, spend money on their new fads, and then quickly discard them. But as the summer wore on into autumn and winter, Brian's behaviour became more bizarre, and to Parks' eyes more distasteful. We now know that Brian was suffering a period of increasing mental ill-health, something that was probably not helped by the copious intake of cannabis and amphetamines he was using to spur his creativity, but at the time most people around him didn't realise this, and general knowledge of mental illness was even less than it is today. Brian was starting to do things like insist on holding business meetings in his swimming pool, partly because people wouldn't be able to spy on him, and partly because he thought people would be more honest if they were in the water. There were also events like the recording session where Wilson paid for several session musicians, not to play their instruments, but to be recorded while they sat in a pitch-black room and played the party game Lifeboat with Jules Siegel and several of Wilson's friends, most of whom were stoned and not really understanding what they were doing, while they got angrier and more frustrated. Alan Jardine -- who unlike the Wilson brothers, and even Mike Love to an extent, never indulged in illegal drugs -- has talked about not understanding why, in some vocal sessions, Brian would make the group crawl on their hands and knees while making noises like animals: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Heroes and Villains Part 3 (Animals)"] As Parks delicately put it "I sensed all that was destructive, so I withdrew from those related social encounters." What this meant though was that he was unaware that not all the Beach Boys took the same attitude of complete support for the work he and Brian had been doing that Dennis Wilson -- the only other group member he'd met at this point -- took. In particular, Mike Love was not a fan of Parks' lyrics. As he said later "I called it acid alliteration. The [lyrics are] far out. But do they relate like 'Surfin' USA,' like 'Fun Fun Fun,' like 'California Girls,' like 'I Get Around'? Perhaps not! So that's the distinction. See, I'm into success. These words equal successful hit records; those words don't" Now, Love has taken a lot of heat for this over the years, and on an artistic level that's completely understandable. Parks' lyrics were, to my mind at least, the best the Beach Boys ever had -- thoughtful, intelligent, moving, at times profound, often funny, often beautiful. But, while I profoundly disagree with Love, I have a certain amount of sympathy for his position. From Love's perspective, first and foremost, this is his source of income. He was the only one of the Beach Boys to ever have had a day job -- he'd worked at his father's sheet metal company -- and didn't particularly relish the idea of going back to manual labour if the rock star gig dried up. It wasn't that he was *opposed* to art, of course -- he'd written the lyrics to "Good Vibrations", possibly the most arty rock single released to that point, hadn't he? -- but that had been *commercial* art. It had sold. Was this stuff going to sell? Was he still going to be able to feed his wife and kids? Also, up until a few months earlier he had been Brian's principal songwriting collaborator. He was *still* the most commercially successful collaborator Brian had had. From his perspective, this was a partnership, and it was being turned into a dictatorship without him having been consulted. Before, it had been "Mike, can you write some lyrics for this song about cars?", now it was "Mike, you're going to sing these lyrics about a crow uncovering a cornfield". And not only that, but Mike had not met Brian's new collaborator, but knew he was hanging round with Brian's new druggie friends. And Brian was behaving increasingly weirdly, which Mike put down to the influence of the drugs and these new friends. It can't have helped that at the same time the group's publicist, Derek Taylor, was heavily pushing the line "Brian Wilson is a genius". This was causing Brian some distress -- he didn't think of himself as a genius, and he saw the label as a burden, something it was impossible to live up to -- but was also causing friction in the group, as it seemed that their contributions were being dismissed. Again, I don't agree with Mike's position on any of this, but it is understandable. It's also the case that Mike Love is, by nature, a very assertive and gregarious person, while Brian Wilson, for all that he took control in the studio, is incredibly conflict-avoidant and sensitive. From what I know of the two men's personalities, and from things they've said, and from the session recordings that have leaked over the years, it seems entirely likely that Love will have seen himself as having reasonable criticisms, and putting them to Brian clearly with a bit of teasing to take the sting out of them; while Brian will have seen Love as mercilessly attacking and ridiculing the work that meant so much to him in a cruel and hurtful manner, and that neither will have understood at the time that that was how the other was seeing things. Love's criticisms intensified. Not of everything -- he's several times expressed admiration for "Heroes and Villains" and "Wonderful" -- but in general he was not a fan of Parks' lyrics. And his criticisms seemed to start to affect Brian. It's difficult to say what Brian thinks about Parks' lyrics, because he has a habit in interviews of saying what he thinks the interviewer wants to hear, and the whole subject of Smile became a touchy one for him for a long time, so in some interviews he has talked about how dazzlingly brilliant they are, while at other times he's seemed to agree with Love, saying they were "Van Dyke Parks lyrics", not "Beach Boys lyrics". He may well sincerely think both at the same time, or have thought both at different times. This came to a head with a session for the tag of "Cabinessence": [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Cabinessence"] Love insisted on having the line "over and over the crow flies uncover the cornfield" explained to him, and Brian eventually decided to call Van Dyke Parks and have him come to the studio. Up to this point, Parks had no idea that there was anything controversial, so when Brian phoned him up and very casually said that Mike had a few questions about the lyrics, could he come down to the studio? He went without a second thought. He later said "The only person I had had any interchange with before that was Dennis, who had responded very favorably to 'Heroes and Villains' and 'Surf's Up'. Based on that, I gathered that the work would be approved. But then, with no warning whatsoever, I got that phone call from Brian. And that's when the whole house of cards came tumbling down." Parks got to the studio, where he was confronted by an angry Mike Love, insisting he explain the lyrics. Now, as will be, I hope, clear from everything I've said, Parks and Love are very, very, *very* different people. Having met both men -- albeit only in formal fan-meeting situations where they're presenting their public face -- I actually find both men very likeable, but in very different ways. Love is gregarious, a charmer, the kind of man who would make a good salesman and who people use terms like "alpha male" about. He's tall, and has a casual confidence that can easily read as arrogance, and a straightforward sense of humour that can sometimes veer into the cruel. Parks, on the other hand, is small, meticulously well-mannered and well-spoken, has a high, precise, speaking voice which probably reads as effeminate to the kind of people who use terms like "alpha male", and the kind of devastating intelligence and Southern US attention to propriety which means that if he *wanted* to say something cruel about someone, the victim would believe themselves to have been complimented until a horrific realisation two days after the event. In every way, from their politics to their attitudes to art versus commerce to their mannerisms to their appearance, Mike Love and Van Dyke Parks are utterly different people, and were never going to mix well. And Brian Wilson, who was supposed to be the collaborator for both of them, was not mediating between them, not even expressing an opinion -- his own mental problems had reached the stage where he simply couldn't deal with the conflict. Parks felt ambushed and hurt, Love felt angry, especially when Parks could not explain the literal meaning of his lyrics. Eventually Parks just said "I have no excuse, sir", and left. Parks later said "That's when I lost interest. Because basically I was taught not to be where I wasn't wanted, and I could feel I wasn't wanted. It was like I had someone else's job, which was abhorrent to me, because I don't even want my own job. It was sad, so I decided to get away quick." Parks continued collaborating with Wilson, and continued attending instrumental sessions, but it was all wheelspinning -- no significant progress was made on any songs after that point, in early December. It was becoming clear that the album wasn't going to be ready for its planned Christmas release, and it was pushed back to January, but Brian's mental health was becoming worse and worse. One example that's often cited as giving an insight into Brian's mental state at the time is his reaction to going to the cinema to see John Frankenheimer's classic science fiction horror film Seconds. Brian came in late, and the way the story is always told, when he was sat down the screen was black and a voice said from the darkness, "Hello Mr. Wilson". That moment does not seem to correspond with anything in the actual film, but he probably came in around the twenty-four minute mark, where the main character walks down a corridor, filmed in a distorted, hallucinatory manner, to be greeted: [Excerpt: Seconds, 24:00] But as Brian watched the film, primed by this, he became distressed by a number of apparent similarities to his life. The main character was going through death and rebirth, just as he felt he was. Right after the moment I just excerpted, Mr. Wilson is shown a film, and of course Brian was himself watching a film. The character goes to the beach in California, just like Brian. The character has a breakdown on a plane, just like Brian, and has to take pills to cope, and the breakdown happens right after this: [Excerpt: Seconds, from about 44:22] A studio in California? Just like where Brian spent his working days? That kind of weird coincidence can be affecting enough in a work of art when one is relatively mentally stable, but Brian was not at all stable. By this point he was profoundly paranoid -- and he may have had good reason to be. Some of Brian's friends from this time period have insisted that Brian's semi-estranged abusive father and former manager, Murry, was having private detectives watch him and his brothers to find evidence that they were using drugs. If you're in the early stages of a severe mental illness *and* you're self-medicating with illegal drugs, *and* people are actually spying on you, then that kind of coincidence becomes a lot more distressing. Brian became convinced that the film was the work of mind gangsters, probably in the pay of Phil Spector, who were trying to drive him mad and were using telepathy to spy on him. He started to bar people who had until recently been his friends from coming to sessions -- he decided that Jules Siegel's girlfriend was a witch and so Siegel was no longer welcome -- and what had been a creative process in the studio degenerated into noodling and second-guessing himself. He also, with January having come and the album still not delivered, started doing side projects,  some of which, like his production of tracks for photographer Jasper Daily, seem evidence either of his bizarre sense of humour, or of his detachment from reality, or both: [Excerpt: Jasper Daily, "Teeter Totter Love"] As 1967 drew on, things got worse and worse. Brian was by this point concentrating on just one or two tracks, but endlessly reworking elements of them. He became convinced that the track "Fire" had caused some actual fires to break out in LA, and needed to be scrapped. The January deadline came and went with no sign of the album. To add to that, the group discovered that they were owed vast amounts of unpaid royalties by Capitol records, and legal action started which meant that even were the record to be finished it might become a pawn in the legal wrangling. Parks eventually became exasperated by Brian -- he said later "I was victimised by Brian Wilson's buffoonery" -- and he quit the project altogether in February after a row with Brian. He returned a couple of weeks later out of a sense of loyalty, but quit again in April. By April, he'd been working enough with Lenny Waronker that Waronker offered him a contract with Warner Brothers as a solo artist -- partly because Warners wanted some insight into Brian Wilson's techniques as a hit-making producer. To start with, Parks released a single, to dip a toe in the water, under the pseudonym "George Washington Brown". It was a largely-instrumental cover version of Donovan's song "Colours", which Parks chose because after seeing the film Don't Look Back, a documentary of Bob Dylan's 1965 British tour, he felt saddened at the way Dylan had treated Donovan: [Excerpt: George Washington Brown, "Donovan's Colours"] That was not a hit, but it got enough positive coverage, including an ecstatic review from Richard Goldstein in the Village Voice, that Parks was given carte blanche to create the album he wanted to create, with one of the largest budgets of any album released to that date. The result was a masterpiece, and very similar to the vision of Smile that Parks had had -- an album of clever, thoroughly American music which had more to do with Charles Ives than the British Invasion: [Excerpt: Van Dyke Parks, "The All Golden"] But Parks realised the album, titled Song Cycle, was doomed to failure when at a playback session, the head of Warner Brothers records said "Song Cycle? So where are the songs?" According to Parks, the album was only released because Jac Holzman of Elektra Records was also there, and took out his chequebook and said he'd release the album if Warners wouldn't, but it had little push, apart from some rather experimental magazine adverts which were, if anything, counterproductive. But Waronker recognised Parks' talent, and had even written into Parks' contract that Parks would be employed as a session player at scale on every session Waronker produced -- something that didn't actually happen, because Parks didn't insist on it, but which did mean Parks had a certain amount of job security. Over the next couple of years Parks and Waronker co-produced the first albums by two of their colleagues from Waronker's brains trust, with Parks arranging -- Randy Newman: [Excerpt: Randy Newman, "I Think It's Going to Rain Today"] And Ry Cooder: [Excerpt: Ry Cooder, "One Meat Ball"] Waronker would refer to himself, Parks, Cooder, and Newman as "the arts and crafts division" of Warners, and while these initial records weren't very successful, all of them would go on to bigger things. Parks would be a pioneer of music video, heading up Warners' music video department in the early seventies, and would also have a staggeringly varied career over the years, doing everything from teaming up again with the Beach Boys to play accordion on "Kokomo" to doing the string arrangements on Joanna Newsom's album Ys, collaborating with everyone from U2 to Skrillex,  discovering Rufus Wainwright, and even acting again, appearing in Twin Peaks. He also continued to make massively inventive solo albums, releasing roughly one every decade, each unique and yet all bearing the hallmarks of his idiosyncratic style. As you can imagine, he is very likely to come up again in future episodes, though we're leaving him for now. Meanwhile, the Beach Boys were floundering, and still had no album -- and now Parks was no longer working with Brian, the whole idea of Smile was scrapped. The priority was now to get a single done, and so work started on a new, finished, version of "Heroes and Villains", structured in a fairly conventional manner using elements of the Smile recordings. The group were suffering from numerous interlocking problems at this point, and everyone was stressed -- they were suing their record label, Dennis' wife had filed for divorce, Brian was having mental health problems, and Carl had been arrested for draft dodging -- though he was later able to mount a successful defence that he was a conscientious objector. Also, at some point around this time, Bruce Johnston seems to have temporarily quit the group, though this was never announced -- he doesn't seem to have been at any sessions from late May or early June through mid-September, and didn't attend the two shows they performed in that time. They were meant to have performed three shows, but even though Brian was on the board of the Monterey Pop Festival, they pulled out at the last minute, saying that they needed to deal with getting the new single finished and with Carl's draft problems. Some or all of these other issues almost certainly fed into that, but the end result was that the Beach Boys were seen to have admitted defeat, to have handed the crown of relevance off to the San Francisco groups. And even if Smile had been released, there were other releases stealing its thunder. If it had come out in December it would have been massively ahead of its time, but after the Beatles released Sgt Pepper it would have seemed like it was a cheap copy -- though Parks has always said he believes the Beatles heard some of the Smile tapes and copied elements of the recordings, though I don't hear much similarity myself. But I do hear a strong similarity in "My World Fell Down" by Sagittarius, which came out in June, and which was largely made by erstwhile collaborators of Brian -- Gary Usher produced, Glen Campbell sang lead, and Bruce Johnston sang backing vocals: [Excerpt: Sagittarius, "My World Fell Down"] Brian was very concerned after hearing that that someone *had* heard the Smile tapes, and one can understand why. When "Heroes and Villains" finally came out, it was a great single, but only made number twelve in the charts. It was fantastic, but out of step with the times, and nothing could have lived up to the hype that had built up around it: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Heroes and Villains"] Instead of Smile, the group released an album called Smiley Smile, recorded in a couple of months in Brian's home studio, with no studio musicians and no involvement from Bruce, other than the previously released singles, and with the production credited to "the Beach Boys" rather than Brian. Smiley Smile has been unfairly dismissed over the years, but it's actually an album that was ahead of its time. It's a collection of stripped down versions of Smile songs and new fragments using some of the same motifs, recorded with minimal instrumentation. Some of it is on a par with the Smile material it's based on: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Wonderful"] Some is, to my ears, far more beautiful than the Smile versions: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "Wind Chimes"] And some has a fun goofiness which relates back to one of Brian's discarded ideas for Smile, that it be a humour album: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "She's Going Bald"] The album was a commercial flop, by far the least successful thing the group had released to that point in the US, not even making the top forty when it came out in September, though it made the top ten in the UK, but interestingly it *wasn't* a critical flop, at least at first. While the scrapping of Smile had been mentioned, it still wasn't widely known, and so for example Richard Goldstein, the journalist whose glowing review of "Donovan's Colours" in the Village Voice had secured Van Dyke Parks the opportunity to make Song Cycle, gave it a review in the New York Times which is written as if Goldstein at least believes it *is* the album that had been promised all along, and he speaks of it very perceptively -- and here I'm going to quote quite extensively, because the narrative about this album has always been that it was panned from the start and made the group a laughing stock: "Smiley Smile hardly reads like a rock cantata. But there are moments in songs such as 'With Me Tonight' and 'Wonderful' that soar like sacred music. Even the songs that seem irrelevant to a rock-hymn are infused with stained-glass melodies. Wilson is a sound sculptor and his songs are all harmonious litanies to the gentle holiness of love — post-Christian, perhaps but still believing. 'Wind Chimes', the most important piece on the album, is a fine example of Brian Wilson's organic pop structure. It contains three movements. First, Wilson sets a lyric and melodic mood ("In the late afternoon, you're hung up on wind chimes"). Then he introduces a totally different scene, utilizing passages of pure, wordless harmony. His two-and-a-half minute hymn ends with a third movement in which the voices join together in an exquisite round, singing the words, "Whisperin' winds set my wind chimes a-tinklin'." The voices fade out slowly, like the bittersweet afternoon in question. The technique of montage is an important aspect of Wilson's rock cantata, since the entire album tends to flow as a single composition. Songs like 'Heroes and Villains', are fragmented by speeding up or slowing down their verses and refrains. The effect is like viewing the song through a spinning prism. Sometimes, as in 'Fall Breaks and Back to Winter' (subtitled "W. Woodpecker Symphony"), the music is tiered into contrapuntal variations on a sliver of melody. The listener is thrown into a vast musical machine of countless working gears, each spinning in its own orbit." That's a discussion of the album that I hear when I listen to Smiley Smile, and the group seem to have been artistically happy with it, at least at first. They travelled to Hawaii to record a live album (with Brian, as Bruce was still out of the picture), taking the Baldwin organ that Brian used all over Smiley Smile with them, and performed rearranged versions of their old hits in the Smiley Smile style. When the recordings proved unusable, they recreated them in the studio, with Bruce returning to the group, where he would remain, with the intention of overdubbing audience noise and releasing a faked live album: [Excerpt: The Beach Boys, "California Girls [Lei'd studio version]"] The idea of the live album, to be called Lei'd in Hawaii, was scrapped, but that's not the kind of radical reimagining of your sound that you do if you think you've made an artistic failure. Indeed, the group's next albu

Ron Hinklin is the most famous voice you've never heard of. A successful singer since his junior high school days, Ron led the group responsible for some of the most iconic sounds of the 1970s, including vocals on the Partridge Family hit “I Think I Love You,” for which Ron and his group nabbed a Grammy nomination. He also sang some of TV's most memorable theme songs like MASH, That Girl, Batman, Happy days, Laverne and Shirley, and the famous Mickey D jingle You Deserve a Break Today. Popular music, from Big Band to Swing to Rock, had album covers and liner notes that inspired Americans yearning to be more modern. All this helped generate today's huge consumer culture, and it's the subject of a new book. Author Janet Borgerson is the senior Wicklander fellow at the Institute for Business and Professional Ethics at DePaul. Author Jonathan Schroeder is Professor of Communications at Rochester Institute of Technology. Together, they wrote Designed for Hi-Fi Living: The Vinyl LP in Midcentury America.

Ken Wank is an award-winning songwriter, inspired by lyricist Tony Romeo who wrote many songs recorded under The Partridge Family banner. These included the multi-million selling first hit, I Think I Love You, Summer Days, My Christmas Card To You, It's One of Those Nights and Morning Rider on the Road among many others. Ken, also inspired by the vocal delivery of David Cassidy, has won more than 30 song writing awards including The John Lennon, VH-1 Song of the Year and The Great American Song contests. Ken shares some of the material he has written including songs influenced by the albums, A Partridge Family Christmas Card, Sound Magazine and Crossword Puzzle. Visit his website: https://Kenwank.com Click Here to Tweet Listen and Follow on Apple:  The David Cassidy Connections on Apple Podcasts Listen and Follow on Google: Google Podcasts - the david cassidy connections Listen and Follow on Spotify: The David Cassidy Connections | Podcast on Spotify Louise's Twitter @LouisePoynton David Cassidy Rocks @CassidyUnited Cherish David Cassidy A Legacy of Love is available from Amazon and all bookshops online or in store.

Förra vintern evakuerades Anna från sitt hem där hon levde under kontroll, psykiskt våld och isolering. Om detta berättade hon om i avsnittet "Under hans öga - Annas epilog", som släpptes i somras. I årets vinterspecial från Epilogen Podcast, delar Anna med sig av vad hon gått igenom under året efter evakueringen. Genom att gestalta sina tankar och känslor på ett fantasifullt sätt, målar hon upp sin inre resa - ut ur mörkret och mot ljuset av ett helt nytt liv. Så i denna varma, äventyrliga "ljud-film", får vi följa Anna på den långa, tuffa vägen mot att hitta hem. Avsnittet är ett konstnärligt samarbete mellan Anna Holgersson (@frkkrass) från bloggen blogg.vk.se/frookenkrass (manus/röstskådespeleri) - och surrealist-konstnären Mia Makila (www.miamakila.com) (regi/ljud- och musiksättning). Resultatet är ett "Alice i Underlandet för överlevare" - en hyllning till alla som kämpar för att bygga upp sig själva efter psykisk misshandel. Musik från freemusicarchive.org: Borrtex - Awake The Light, Happy Holidays, I Think I Love You, I Will Never Give Up, Present Moment, Rainbow, Standing Up!, Maya Solovéy - Little Drummer Boy, Silent Night, Scott Holmes - Forces of Attraction, A Peaceful Winter, Purple Planet Music (www.purple-planet.com) - Ljudeffekter från freesound.org: soundShelves, dobroide, pushtobreak, kessir, hanstimm, YleArkisto, Kyster, klankschap, catlover1970, klankbeeld, scratchikken, tim.kahn, gabbamat, rempen

Make a donation to Unity Center of Norwalk "Investigate" Rev. Shawn Moninger @ Unity Center of Norwalk CT (10/24/21) You can see this talk and others on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/c/UnityCenterNorwalk Last week's message from Rev. Shawn Living From the Super-consciousness Hey U-nity, Living From the Super-consciousness “You Cannot Make Me Think That Way” You cannot make me think that way. You cannot make me have a nice day or an awful day. You're not the boss of me. You can't make me love you or hate you (although you might interfere with whether or not I like you.) Even that, is a choice I can make. Everything is my choice to experience in whatever way I choose to experience it. I can't make you think anything. I can't make you loved or unloved. I can't approve or disapprove of you. I can't make you less than you are. I cannot not make you a god-being. You and I are loved with an everlasting love. You and I are blessed with the ability to choose what we think and feel. You and I are blessed. We can choose to think we aren't but that doesn't make it not true. I Think I Love You, Rev. Shawn

Sara Hickman has been performing since a little girl. Her first guitar was inspired by the music of The Partridge Family. The influence of David Cassidy in her musical career has been a huge part of her journey which has included a recording of his first hit, I Think I Love You. Her own music has been covered by fellow Texas musicians including Willie Nelson. Sara has won numerous awards and accolades including the appointment as Official Texas State Musician, the State where she grew up. For more information about Sara visit her website: www.sarahickman.com Sara's cover of I Think I Love You which she talks about in our conversation, can be heard here: (1) I Think I Love You - YouTube Click Here to Tweet Listen and Follow on Apple:  The David Cassidy Connections on Apple Podcasts Listen and Follow on Google: Google Podcasts - the david cassidy connections Listen and Follow on Spotify: The David Cassidy Connections | Podcast on Spotify Louise's Twitter @LouisePoynton David Cassidy Rocks @CassidyUnited

Get more at podsematary.com! Read our afterthoughts for this episode at https://twitter.com/PodSematary/status/1450244090117832708 It's a Recommendation Week on Pod Sematary! Chris & Kelsey have their croc-killing cake and eat it too and then they summon a demon for a conference call. Thanks to David for the recommendations! The Classic Film: Lake Placid (1999) "Three people attempt to stop a gigantic crocodile, who is terrorizing residents in Black Lake, Maine” (IMDb.com). Lake Placid is just a bundle of clichés in a Jaws suit, but we can see why it may be some people's comfort flick. The Modern Film: Host (2020) "Six friends hire a medium to hold a seance via Zoom during lockdown, but they get far more than they bargained for as things quickly go wrong” (IMDb.com). Host, a byproduct of quarantine life and socializing via Zoom, won't blow your skirt up or anything, but it's pretty impressive for its low budget, short production turnaround, and relatively non-existent time commitment. Audio Sources: "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" produced by De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, et al. "The Heart Wants What it Wants" written by Selena Gomez, et al., and performed by Selena Gomez "Host" (2020) produced by Shadowhouse Films "I Think I Love You" written by Tony Romeo and performed by The Partridge Family "I Think I Love You" written by Tony Romeo and performed by Less Than Jake "It's Not Unusual" written by Les Reed & Gordon Mills and performed by Tom Jones "Lake Placid" produced by Fox 2000 Pictures, et al. "Pet Sematary" written by Dee Dee Ramone & Daniel Rey and performed by The Ramones "Truth Hurts" written by Melissa Jefferson, et al., and performed by Lizzo "Zero Effect" produced by Castle Rock Entertainment, et al.

DJ Глюк (DJ Gluk) - Руссиш Deep House In Da Mix @ DJ Глюк 1. Triticum - Creola 2. 7th Player - Born to Fly 3. DJ JEDY - 17 (Baby, I Think I Love You) 4. Denis First - Feel What You Want 5. Sharapov - Little Strong (Fly & Sasha Fashion Remix) 6. Fly & Sasha Fashion - Crazy 7. Filatov & Karas, Busy Reno - Au Revoir 8. Anton Liss Philip Manning - Who Likes 9. Morandi - Angels (Ayur Tsyrenov Remix) 10. Ace Of Base - All That She Wants (Ayur Tsyrenov Remix) 11. Anton Ishutin & Toricos feat. Note U - You're My Heart 12. Craig David & Alex Vnuk - Hot Stuff Vs World Hold On (Alex Vnuk Remix) 13. DJ Prezzplay feat. Luis Estrada & Luc like - Bailame 14. Alok, Sofi Tukker, Inna - It Don't Matter (NitugaL Remix) 15. Alina Gerc - I Love You (DJ Safiter Remix) 16. Sharapov - Never Give Up 17. Travel Emotions - Hidden Dreams (VetLove Remix)

70's teen heartthrob, David Cassidy, died in a Fort Lauderdale hospital in 2017. He moved to Broward county in 2002 when he started drinking heavily and racked up a string of DUI's. The "I Think I Love You" singer's drinking led to his death, but through it all, the world still loved him.

I THINK I LOVE YOU, when two straight male roommates fall in love with each other with Mike Iamele, Ep 053 Imagine yourself vomiting blood for several months and the person who becomes your caretaker is your roommate. Our guest today went through this medical scare and found himself having feelings for his roommate. Never having been with a man, this became unknown territory for the two. After 2 years of exploring the relationship, and dating women in between, the Mike began to rethink his sexuality in his first same-sex relationship. He is here today to tell his provocative and vulnerable story while reminding us that life is a surprising adventure, and sometimes things don't always work out as planned. Learn more about Mike by clicking here: MikeIamele.com Join us on this journey as our special guests step outside their comfort zones to inspire us with their stories of unimaginable loss, unbelievable courage, and undeniable miracles. To share your triumphant journey with us on Comfort Kills, Schedule a Meet & Greet with Dr. Jazz here. Intro/Outro music courtesy of RFM - Royalty Free Music  Sponsor: www.MyTwoScentsUSA.com Complacency is boring, and reaching for the stars is never overrated. Follow Dr. Jazz on this journey of mindset and motivation as we get a little comfortable with being uncomfortable. In each Comfort Kills episode she will introduce inspiring guests, thoughts, and ideas to help herself and others reach their fullest potential through inspiration of real-world stories shared by her guests. Each guests share their stories of unimaginable loss, unbelievable courage, and undeniable miracles. Join her on the path to challenge your personal status quo and be the best version of yourselves! Keywords: lgtbqia+, gay men, gay, lgtbq, caretaker, caregiver, roommate, room mates

Hal Eisenberg and his Beach Boys tribute band opened for David in Atlanta in 2003, where he observed close up the impact of being a teenage idol appeared to have on David. He shares his thoughts on how David was labelled and the impact that had on his career. Hal offers an analysis on the price of fame and explains why David's album The Higher They Climb needs to be recognised more as a template for what he was capable of achieving musically. “If you don't know of his music outside of I Think I Love You, you really do need to go deeper into his catalogue – You will say ‘I had no idea'. He was a lot more than the façade that a lot of people saw…..musicians regarded him as a very talented musician,” Hal told me. He offers his analysis of the music industry today, how Felix Cavaliere and Eric Carmen influenced his career and why he is looking forward to getting back on stage this summer with Brotherhood, his tribute band to the Doobie Brothers.

Marisa and Kelsey are joined by Auriane Desombre, author of I Think I Love You, to verify Josh's himbo status and discuss Kelsey's messy, unprofessional behavior toward her very first acquisition. Featuring: Who in the world DOESN'T BELIEVE IN MARKETING THEIR BOOK? Drunk tattoos Marisa, Kelsey, and Auriane would get for their debuts! More airtime for Charles than he has received on the show up to this point, as there has been NONE. Links to follow Auriane Desombre: https://www.aurianedesombre.com/ (Website) | https://twitter.com/aurianedesombre (Twitter) | https://www.instagram.com/aurianedesombre/?hl=en (Instagram ) Follow Older & Wiser on https://twitter.com/olderwisercast (Twitter) & https://www.instagram.com/olderwisercast/ (Instagram) Follow Marisa: https://www.marisakanter.com/ (Website) | https://twitter.com/marisakanter (Twitter) | https://www.instagram.com/marisakanter/ (Instagram) Follow Kelsey: https://www.kelseyrodkey.com/ (Website) | https://twitter.com/KelseyRodkey (Twitter) | https://www.instagram.com/krodk/ (Instagram)

Nick Lowe And His Sound - [What's So Funny 'Bout] Peace Love and Understanding (1974) Nick Lowe And His Sound was Nick Lowe backed by Elvis Costello & The Attractions. Art Reynold Singers - Jesus Is Just Alright (1966) This is the first version of the song that went to #35 for The Doobie Brothers.  As the first gospel group to record for Capitol Records, they soon became pioneers in the development of “gospel rock”. Many considered their music too secular for the time. Their first album Tellin’ It Like It Is went on to become one of the biggest selling albums for a new gospel group. “Jesus Is Just Alright” was also covered by The Byrds. Arthur Prysock - Here's To Good Friends (1978) POACA will recall this as being the foundation for the Lowenbrau commercials. But Arthur Prysock's first single came out 20 years before this.  Burton Cummings - You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet (1976)  Buzz and Joey - The Willing Conscript (1965) Written by Gary Paxton. Joey Putzer changed his last name to Edmonds and formed a duo with comic Thom Curley. They appeared on Johnny Carson's "Tonight" show and many others. Edmonds later formed a talent agency in Chicago. Chicago Climax Blues Band - Seventh Son (1971)  Emmanuel Lewis - City Connection (Japanese Version ) (1981) Emmanuel Lewis was the little scamp that starred in Webster, opposite Alex Karras. Karras played for the Detroit Lions of the NFL. He (Karras, not Lewis) made four Pro Bowls and was a three-time first-team All-Pro player, but he also missed the 1963 season while serving a suspension for gambling. Many believe that suspension is what kept Karras (again, not the diminutive Lewis) from Canton while he was alive, though Green Bay Packers running back Paul Hornung, who also was suspended for gambling, was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1986. Emmanuel Lewis was not.  After his playing career, Karras spent time as a professional wrestler and later became a popular actor. In his biggest role, he played Mongo in the 1974 film "Blazing Saddles". He played in the playoffs once, losing to Dallas 5-0. Emmanuel Lewis, as of this entry, has not been nominated for the NFL HOF. For more information on Alex Karras, also known in wrestling circles as "Dick The Bruiser", consult your local library. Or just click this.  Ella Fitzgerald - "Sanford and Son" Theme (Street Beater) (1972)  Vik Venus, Alias: Your Main Moon Man - Everybody's On Strike (1969) This was the B-side of "Moonlight", a space-based cut-in novelty record (ala Dickie Goodman). "Vic Venus" was a pseudonym for Jack Spector, a famous DJ known for his stint at WCMA, the New York City radio station that attached itself to the arrival of The Beatles in America. In fact, WCMA was the first station in the US to play "I Want To Hold Your Hand". Spector hosted the first American performance of the Beatles at Shea Stadium in 1964. "Moonlight" made it into the Billboard Top 40, barely. The record used cut-ins of Buddah Records songs exclusively.  James Brown ‎– Fight Against Drug Abuse (1971) Jeannie Piersol - Gladys (1968) Produced by Darby Slick. Watch this video!  Darby was Grace Slick's brother-in-law. His song "Somebody to Love" is still heard around the world.  Julie Ege -  Love (1971) Lou Christie - Love In A Limousine (1997) Pluto - Dat (1976) Went to #6 in the UK. Daughters of Eve - Social Tragedy (1968) This all-female band out of Chicago opened for groups such as The Buckinghams ("Kind of a Drag" ) and was featured as a backing band during local TV programming with Janis Ian to support the release of her song "Society's Child". They released 4 singles. This was their last, a more psychedelic affair than the others. Then they broke up because of...men.  Lou Christie - The One and Only Original Sunshine Kid (1975) Written by the same fellow that wrote: "I Think I Love You". On Elektra Records!? The music business was funny back then.  These next two tracks are from "The Spectrum of Music Level 6" released in 1974 to a world of restless children being forced to sing songs they did not like did not KNOW, and would forget as soon as class was over. BUT SOME OF US REMEMBERED. Here is a video of the unboxing.  Fender Bender (1974) The Cowboy (1974)  This collection (should you want me to make MP3s) contains "Sakura", "Johnny Has Gone For a Soldier", and a tight little medley from "The H.M.S. Pinafore".  Tartan Horde - Bay City Rollers We Love You (1975) More Contractual Obligation chicanery.  The Beach Boys - My Solution (1970) "My Solution" was written by Brian Wilson and recorded on October 31, 1970, shortly before the sessions for the group's album Surf's Up.  In a 1976 interview, Brian said: "We have a song called 'My Solution' which is a very odd song that has chromatic – strange chords, not regular triad chords. The notes are bunched up. It tells the story about how a guy found an old damsel outside his castle and decided to make her part of an experiment. ... It's about a guy who found his solution. It's a very odd, Boris Karloff eerie type of thing, so it's one of our more far-out, left-field things that we've done."  4 years before this, he composed "God Only Knows". I know I mentioned that a lot, but goddamn, drugs will wreck you. STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS! The Groop - A Famous Myth (1969) Midnight Cowboy is one of my favorite soundtracks. I really love this song, especially. The Groop was a harmony-based psychedelic pop and soul vocal quartet, active at the end of the 1960s and releasing one self-titled album. Not to be confused with the other Groop, based in Australia around that time. I know you were going to. Don't.  The Hello People - Jelly Jam (1969) Gotta collect all the records by The Hello People.  Vos Voisins- Ya just de t'ça (1971) Good Montreal prog.  Wallace Collection - My Way Of Loving You (1970) XTC - You're The Wish You Are I Had (Live) (1984) The best group of the '80s and '90s. Lyrics alone, they would be Top 3.  Gino Vannelli - People Gotta Move (1974) Sometimes I sneak in top 40 songs because I love them. 

Marla joins the show to discuss 70s style policing and terrible color palate with David Cassidy: Man Undercover (1978)Contact Us!Email: pilotprojectshow@gmail.comInstagram: @pilotprojectpodFacebook: https://fb.me/pilotprojectpodTwitter: @pilotprojectpodWatch: YouTubeAired: November 2, 1978Episode Run: 10 EpisodesCreated by: Richard FielderDirected by: Bernard McEveety (Combat, Gunsmoke, How the West Was Won, Bonanza)Written By: Sean Baine (Walking Tall the TV series, RoboCop: The Series, TJ Hooker)Official Description: Twenty-something officer Dan Shay operates undercover in the Los Angeles youth scene.Cast:David Cassidy … Dan ShaySimon Oakland … Sgt. AbramsWendy Rasttatar … Joanne ShayFun Facts: This show was a spinoff of the show Police Story via a backdoor pilot. In the episode “A Chance to Live” Officer Dan Shay goes undercover at a high school to infiltrate a drug ring.  Cassidy got an Emmy nomination for Best Dramatic Actor for the role There is actually a dedicated website for the show at chezgrae.com/dcmu. Looks like a geocities site This show was an inspiration for 21 Jump Street, as it was created by writers from this show Cassidy had a rampant alcohol problem. In 2017 he announced that he had developed dementia and fell off stage. He also announced his liver was failing. In 2018 he was hospitalized for liver and kidney failure and placed. Doctors hoped to keep him alive long enough for a transplant but he died 3 days later, 47 years to the day after “I Think I Love You” hit #1 on the charts. His daughter is Katie Cassidy, Laurel from the CW Arrowverse. But the two never had a relationship and she was raised by her mother. His final words were to Katie on his deathbed: “So much wasted time” ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week we sat down with the wonderful Auriane Desombre to discuss everything from Shakespeare retellings, to the struggles of character description, to pandemic-inspired sewing. Auriane's debut novel, I THINK I LOVE YOU, released just yesterday, and she has a virtual event THIS Thursday, March 4th with Monica Gomez-Hira and Rachel Lynn Solomon. You can find her @aurianedesombre on Twitter and Instagram, or at her website, aurianedesombre.com.

It’s the time of year we make time to celebrate love.  We freely speak of all the things we love, it is really love?   Are we being clear with the people in our life what we mean when we say we “love” something or someone?     Random References:    https://www.fluentin3months.com/words-for-love/   “Looking for love in all the wrong places, no fine girls just ugly faces.” Young MC   Night at the Roxbury, Saturday Night Live skit with Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan to the song “What is Love” by Haddaway  Song Titles about Love   Love Hurts Love Bites Love Lies Love is a Battlefield Cant Buy Me Love Can’t Help Falling In Love Addicted to Love You Give Love a Bad Name     Here are some minor contradictions between song titles: Foreigner begging, “I Want To Know What Love Is” The Partridge family boldly proclaimed “I Think I Love You”   And Roxette cleared it all up with “It Must Have Been Love”   Now That We Found Love Where Is the Love   Lost in Love Love will Lead You Back    If You Love Somebody Set Them Free Hold Onto Love   Show Me Your Love You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away   All Out of Love Making Love Out of Nothing At All   Will You Love Me Tomorrow Friday I’m in Love   All You Need Is Love Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough   I Just Called To Say I Love You Bye Bye Love   No More I Love You’s Say You Love Me   I Love Loving You I Hate that I Love You I’d Do Anything for Love, but I won’t Do That   Definitions for Love taken from Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Beth and Amy cover "I Think I Love You" by The Partridge Family. Listen to the song first before Amy & Beth ruin it for you.Email us at amyandbetharesorry@gmail.comVisit us on Instagram at https://instagram.com/sorryiruinedthatsong?igshid=1cqqhy050qg8qVisit us on Twitter at https://twitter.com/sorry_songListen to our Spotify Playlist here:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1N6BzJ2NejvzSmuhpkZhRb?si=ladyFquiSkqsrb4np4I3ow

Voice of the Beehive & I, Ludicrous special with Martin Brett in conversation with David Eastaugh The band had five Top 40 singles from two albums in the UK. Their biggest commercial success came with the singles "I Say Nothing", "Don't Call Me Baby", "Monsters and Angels" and "I Think I Love You", taken from albums Let It Bee and Honey Lingers. Sex & Misery, a third album, was released in 1996;[3] by this point sisters Tracey and Melissa were the sole group members. The band reformed in 2003 to play a two-week UK tour.

No links or resources in this one. This one is for us, though I suppose every recording has aspired to that ideal -- a time capsule of our marriage. "Objective," or at least truthful, to the best of our ability. Pointed at our own growth. And shared publicly because it feels meaningful, inspires more conversations, and contributes, again, to growth. Thank you for listening, for sharing, for reaching out, to us, or to your partner.Riley & CaroWeek 52 AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotographyand @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

What are you into? What do you like? What gets you excited? These seem like super simple questions, at face value — but for some reason, it didn’t occur to either of us to ask each other anything like that at the beginning of our relationship. Even now, it feels weirdly blunt (even for me, a proudly blunt question-asker) to just ASK Riley what he wants from our sex/sensual life. In this conversation, we ask one another these questions. We also talk about the emotions that explain why we’ve never asked them before (primarily a strong cocktail of fear and embarrassment). I talk about the particular challenge women face in answering these questions (namely, that I don’t KNOW what I’m into), and we take a nice little walk down memory road and share some stories from our sexual histories (plot twist: Riley’s “road” is far longer than mine). -Carolina Ballerina AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotographyand @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Talking about sex is really hard in any given situation, let alone when it's with your life partner and you're both speaking into a literal megaphone about your perceived failures as a couple. In this conversation, Riley and I hit on pretty much every pain point I could personally think of, when it comes to our shared intimacy: his perception of not feeling wanted by me, my perception of the world viewing me as a terrible wife, and the broader cultural norms that we both have to wade through every damn day, which tend to prioritize Riley's pleasure over mine, and which are a real mind f*ck to dismantle in your own head, even when your partner is supportive as hell. On a personal level, I hope that this terrifyingly vulnerable conversation makes at least one other person feel a little bit less alone. Figuring out how to prioritize your own pleasure can often feel like an impossible battle, given what a challenge it can be to understand what makes your pleasure clock tick to begin with. AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Incredibly loose timestamping runs as follows: Highs (eh? eh?) and lows (00:05:00)Trust, respect, and communication in shared projects (00:10:00)Butting heads on the bullshit of budgeting (00:32:00)We lose the edible game (00:50:00)We silently follow a fly around the room  (01:04:00)As I note in the conversation, The Edible Games will not be a frequently recurring series within the podcast. Which will come as no surprise after listening to the degradation of this conversation, or the stories of my remarkably low tolerance.Important BackgroundGetting high on my podcast is a dramatic flaunting of privilege that demands a deeper look at three incontrovertible truths:The criminalization of marijuana is and always has been a tool of racial injustice.The new white-dominated industry springing up in states with legal cannabis is perpetuating, if not actively exacerbating, the disenfranchisement of Black people and other groups that have been (and continue to be) the target of the decades-long war on drugs.To even begin to reconcile with our history of systemic racism in drug-related law enforcement, we must  (1) quickly develop and enact explicitly anti-racist policies, including, at a minimum, expungement of marijuana related criminal records, and reinvestment of public and private proceeds back into communities most harmed by past enforcement; and (2) (as a necessary precondition for 1) federal legalization.Read, Listen, ActThe ACLU does a pretty good job with the high level current conversation here (https://bit.ly/2Hhvlh4),  and NPR gives a short (4 min listen) history of the explicitly racist origins of marijuana criminalization in the 30s here (https://n.pr/2EmezMG).  Read about the MORE Act (Marijuana Opportunity Reinvestment and Expungement) here (https://bit.ly/3ceus46), which would be the most significant federal legislative development on marijuana policy in 50 years — and is actually set to pass soon,  after COVID relief gets sorted and we get past the presidential election. You can write your Congressional representatives to get them to cosponsor. You can buy Black-owned cannabis, using resources like Cannaclusive's InclusiveBase here (https://bit.ly/2EiLGRv) or this state-based list of highlights from GreenEntrepreneur here (https://bit.ly/3hJaXlj). And you can follow the development of the MORE Act and get involved in how it manifests in your state.Marijuana reform will not solve systemic racism. No single thing will. Systemic problems require networked solutions, of which this is an important node. AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

When you've gotten yourself entangled in a marriage* where neither one of you fully understands finances, it becomes necessary for a change to be made. That's why I, Caro Bambino, have taken it upon myself to sign up for a finance course this fall, thereby changing the course of our tiny, insignificant lives forever. In this conversation, we chat about that course, along with the approach I plan on having to our shared financial future. We also talk about how cool it's been to see Riley literally teach himself a really complicated and useful skill during the airstream renovation, and Riley asks me how it feels when I shared information about the pod on social media to a resounding audience of crickets. We're still exploring how we feel about the idea of creating a separate account for this project — if you see one pop up on your feed soon, that'll be your answer.-Caro, Queen of the North*yes, that's how I describe my relationship with RileyAcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

In this conversation, Riley and I talk about this type of loneliness — the challenges of moving through a new phase of life alone, with respect to your peers. And conversely, whether that type of peer affirmation matters at all at certain milestones, or if instead, that desire is a phenomenon manufactured by the pop culture we've been raised by. Anyway, I imagine a lot of people have felt a bit lonely this summer under quarantine — I'd love to hear from anyone (married, single, in between or otherwise) who has troubleshooting advice.-Caro I-haven't-changed-my-last-name-yet-probably-won't-ever Burke AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Riley and I talk about why we stopped recording and sharing, and why we decided to start again. It's difficult and complicated and important, for us, and if you've had similar conversations or better approaches, please share back. The book we talk about this week is The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein. Listen to it via Audible, or listen to the author speak with Ari Shapiro from NPR. The podcast is Nice White Parents from the New York Times.AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro and outro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Back to 2000 we go! Along with the recurring solo Beatles and Barenaked Ladies, I get to talk about the Yacht Rockiest of them all, and a candidate for Worst #1 Ever. Song list: "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie, "Gimme Some Truth" by John Lennon, "1985" by Paul McCartney and Wings, "Sit Down, I Think I Love You" by the Mojo Men, "Brian Wilson" by Barenaked Ladies, "It Keeps You Runnin'" by the Doobie Brothers, "Running on Empty" by Jackson Browne, and *ugh* "Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)" by Blessid Union of Souls. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/musicismyradar/support

No outside resources to note, and since it's a short one, no timestamps. Caroline throws up pretty much right at the ten minute mark though.

This week's conversation was recorded on January 26, the day Kobe died. Riley and I open the conversation by talking briefly about Kobe, but I don't think either one of us knew, in that moment, how much it would affect our emotions in the weeks to come, and how much it likely affected the argument we had on this day without our realizing it. You can probably hear it in our voices: tension, stress, confusion. We're arguing about a fight we had about how clean the apartment was, but what we're really talking about has to do with unspoken feelings of abandonment, emotion policing, and beneath all of that, grief. One particularly interesting event of this conversation is when Riley coins the term "agnostic anger," which is the type of aimless frustration that can be really difficult to deal with in a relationship. When your partner has agnostic anger, what are you supposed to do? Ignore it and let them figure it out on their own, or confront it, even if it has nothing to do with you? We still don't have a total answer, but this conversation marks our efforts to get closer to a solution. Yours in faith and quarantine, Caro Bambino, Queen of Stop Policing My Emotions Island

We'll add these in a bit.

We had to wade through the muck a bit. But ultimately, this is a good one. A note for myself to listen to this before the next time we're apart for a long period of time. Considering that I'm writing this in May of 2020, who knows when that will be. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, perhaps. Distance is also what makes the partners grow stronger, individually.(19:27) I mention Esther Perel on the Knowledge Project, available here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atXKntdX2UY(36:46) Fertile sadness, fertile longing(39:00) Lessons on how to stay in love from Week Thirteen(41:29) On becoming different people while apart(48:24) Your first fight defines the rest of your fightsThanks for listening. If any of this hits home for you or sparks a conversation between you and your partner, we'd love to hear from you.  Find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Riley AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

At one point in the back half of this week’s discussion, I promise a study about how relationships built on shared negativity (dislike for someone or something) are easier to form but weaker in the long term, compared to relationships built on shared interests or affinities. The single silver bullet study to support this idea eludes me (or perhaps never existed), but in searching, a couple of related and interesting reads.Business Insider grabbed an article originally published in Science of People, neither of which strike me as particularly valid peer reviewed sources, but the findings feel face valid to me — use this directionally. Specifically, two ways that negativity supports bonding — one, that negativity registers a stronger emotional response (translating to a stronger shared emotional experience), and two, that expressing negativity is an act of intimacy, as a contradiction of accepted social norms of general positivity toward others. It’s a wink, if you will. Here’s the link: https://bit.ly/3cPaFr2The risk of negativity as a strategy for forming relationships lies in the potential for misalignment (you venture a negative point of view on something the other person has a positive view of), as well as, in the long term, developing a negative perception of the relationship itself. The Atlantic goes a bit deeper on this point of avoiding negativity bias in relationships. Here’s that: https://bit.ly/2KxaNj3Hit us up, always.AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

This conversation was a real helter-skelter hodgepodge of sex topics, all of which stemmed from one initial thought: men deserve to feel wanted just as much as women do. More specifically, Riley and I addressed a pretty huge imbalance in our sex life, and our relationship as a whole: namely, that he dotes on me nonstop, and is always the one to initiate sex, whereas I pretty much NEVER hit on him or make an active effort to make him feel wanted. We actually did our homework this time, and reference a number of studies that have been done on the topic of biological/cultural differences with sex roles. Studies that force us to ask questions like this: do people have a higher sex drive BECAUSE they masturbate more frequently, or do they masturbate more BECAUSE they have a higher sex drive? Real hard hitting stuff, I know, which translates to this conundrum: how do I overcome the thousands of years of training that tells me NOT to hit on Riley, and how does Riley learn how to overcome his own training and say, “Please make me feel wanted?” And if we can overcome this, does it mean our kids will be more likely to bypass all of this bull-hoonanny. This conversation also includes brief forays into: the field of epigenetics, taboo sex fantasies, and us speaking into mics with pretty significant head colds.The University of Michigan study on testosterone, cortisol (stress), and masturbation relative to sex drive (https://bit.ly/2VEiBV7)More Pyschology Today links, but they're not so bad when it's research recaps vs. op-ed pieces... Here's a version of the study addressing rape fantasies we mentioned (https://bit.ly/3angE4R).The bit on epigenetics in action in mice (https://go.nature.com/2ypbRCE)Thanks for listening, hushpuppies!- Wayne Gretzky (Michael Scott) ((Caro Bambino))AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

"He's an adult, he's got this" is the key to this conversation, for me. We spend some time debunking this thought, that a marker of maturity is being able to deal with challenges on your own, in isolation from the people who care about you. Looking back, it seems I'm quick to ball up, originally shutting my parents out of my healthcare, and then (well, now) my wife. I still think of this issue as having gendered roots, being a "dude thing", but maybe it truly is a me thing that comes from something else.(12:00) Order, disorder, and reorder, via Jedidiah Jenkins (listen to his show, Question the Self https://apple.co/2VlKhhB).(34:50) Fight #2 of the night.(38:45) Caroline talks about the feeling of not being able to walk out and cool off, now that we're married and living together.(43:20) We talk about the half-life of fights, and mental models for safer transitions out of that period.(49:25) System 1 and System 2 in fights, which we don't explain is from Daniel Kahneman in Thinking Fast and Slow (https://nyti.ms/2JVLNS8).(52:45) Your partner is a variable, not a control.(55:13) Lessons on how to stay in love for Week Nine.Thanks for listening. If any of this hits home for you or sparks a conversation between you and your partner, we'd love to hear from you.  Find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Riley AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Dear friends and family,We both love all of you, despite this quabble where we parse out sides of who belongs to who. I can see why people drag out courtship before marriage. To see what home life is like for the other, to get a sense of how families might integrate (or not). In fact, to avoid this exact situation  we find ourselves working through over Thanksgiving, stretched thin between multiple families, houses, and groups of friends. A blessing in disguise, to be sure, but the cause of the first time we really get into it while recording. It won't be the last.(04:30) Yep, there's a poop story(11:05) Scrabble fight commences(19:30) The real fight about relationship coordination while at home. Also to fact check, there are steps to dissolve the aftermath of a fight, which seem face valid (https://bit.ly/3bF8rd9)(38:00) Making plans with your partner vs. being assigned plans by your parter(52:00) Lessons on how to stay in love from Week 6 and 7Thanks for listening. If any of this hits home for you or sparks a conversation between you and your partner, we'd love to hear from you.  Find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Riley AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Unfortunately, there's a dead baby joke in this one. We also overshoot our quota of saying "lived experience" by 10. But there's also some really helpful stuff, liberally cribbed from  Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, the authors of The Courage to Be Disliked (https://amzn.to/2wvL07v), who did the same from Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Freud and Jung. Caveats that (1) obviously this isn't a paid promotion, and (2) while it presents as a self-help book (and I suppose it is) it's narrative based, like a Buddhist fable, and grounded in a "real" school of psychology, so it feels less fluffy than what I imagine self-help books to be.(04:24) I get on my high horse about The Courage to Be Disliked (and you mix up "cache" and "cachet" Caroline)(06:25) Corgi tail cropping(15:30) We discuss Caroline's writing, and her desire to find a therapist(18:06) In fact, the direction of someone's gaze does not indicate whether they are telling the truth or not (https://bit.ly/2QT7hDc)(32:00) Individual fulfillment is an important piece of a healthy relationship(35:00) Caroline digs a little deeper on finding a therapist(51:00) Lessons on how to stay in love for Week 5Thanks for listening. If any of this hits home for you or sparks a conversation between you and your partner, we'd love to hear from you.  Find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Riley AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

This conversation is the first one where we talk about marriage from an aerial view: what it means to us conceptually, how we viewed it before we met one another, and how our expectations of marriage have been met or changed since tying the knot. We also talk about a really interesting theory about how to approach marriage and relationships, as credited to the inimitable Natalie Warther, my brilliant poet friend, about 45 minutes in. (00:08:00) Married couple fights are just plain scary(00:10:45)  We got into two enormous fights this week HAHA LOL EVERYTHING'S FINE(00:18:15) The post-wedding registry lifestyle creep is real(00:27:00) We discuss why there's an urge to keep relationships more private after marriage(00:35:00) How has the reality of marriage met or not met our expectations?(00:41:38) We share our doubts about whether or not we love each other (plot twist: we disagree)(00:45:30) The concept of treating marriage as a third party, entity, plant, etc.(00:48:20) I talk about how I only understood marriage through diamond rings as a child(00:54:00) We talk about our hopes for the next 11 months, with our marriage and with this projectWishing safety and love to all those cool crazy cats and kittens out there!-Carol Burkins, Tiger QueenAcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; @nataliewarther for her brilliant and empathetic insight; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

To maintain the integrity of this weekly project, we're including this conversation from our third week of marriage, with a minor caveat: this is absolute, complete, baba-booey BS. Riley and I could barely follow the tangents when re-listening, and WE WERE THERE. This conversation took place in the parking lot of a Hooters restaurant in Tampa, Florida, in a convertible rental, at the end of our whirlwind four-weddings-in-five-weekends adventure, and you can hear the deranged, exhaustive mania in our voices. Seriously. We sound like baby Smurfs who got into a bag of ecstasy. We sound like toddlers lost in a department store. We sound like a married couple who has NO BUSINESS being married, or even living alone without real adult supervision. Listen at your own risk.(00:03:00) We talk in pidgin English about about how we're not special and never will be(00:04:00) Tune in here for some chillingly manic shared laughter(00:05:00) A brief delude into how we've turned into mayonnaise tubes over the last month, and how we can try to be healthy in the future...Thanks for listening? I guess? If you're curious to see if we're still alive after that descent into mania, find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Queen Caro Bambino, Lordette of the Porglets AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Get up and shake that hazmat covered booty. Don't get sucked into sitting around all day while you're facing self-quarantine. -Jack Wood. Born to Wander-Charles Shefield. It's Your Voodoo Working-Barbara Dane. I'm on my Way-The Pirates. Cuttin' Out-Ted Taylor. Somebody's Always Trying-Pat Hervey. Pain-James Brown. Out of Sight-Helen Troy. I Think I Love You 

This isn't a podcast about sex. But of the many dynamic elements that determine the health of a relationship, sex is the one we've had to put the most work into. And will continue to be, I imagine.I'm not sure that we ever explicitly describe it in the recording, so I'll make it clear here. We had sex when Caroline didn't want to. It was confusing at the time. It's painful to think back on, that confusion could have ever existed between us, in this way. It's horrific to think about inviting other people to listen to us work through it.But it's important. This moment and the ensuing conversations are the start of a profound learning experience, for us as a couple, but for me personally. And maybe this sparks more nuanced conversations between partners, or just between friends.(00:03:04) I nuke the original Week 2 recording(00:37:00) Apology, excuses, and digging in(00:44:34) Caroline digs into gendered perceptions of pain(00:52:30) Some states still have marital rape exemption loopholes (https://n.pr/2wkA908)(01:01:57) I benefit from Caroline's wisdom: "I think that sometimes you have to have five conversations to get to the answer. And if you start the first conversation by saying, 'What's the point?' then you're never going to get to the fifth."(01:04:44) You can listen to Jia Tolentino read her essay "I Thee Dread" here (https://bbc.in/3dp9Ypt)(01:08:47) Relationships are like professional sports, or kumiko, in that the concept of flow state applies. Judd Apatow on flow state on Armchair Expert (https://bit.ly/396D1Le)(01:20:58) Lessons on how to stay in love, from Week 2Thanks for listening. If any of this hits home for you or sparks a conversation between you and your partner, we'd love to hear from you.  Find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Riley AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

We didn't really land on the central thesis of how to stay in love until a couple of weeks in, but I was surprised, editing this months later, to hear us dig into our fears and hopes for marriage, and what we've learned so far, in a somewhat organic way. Nested within the saccharine giggle fest that is the rest of this first week's recording, that is.(5:31) The story of the first test of our marriage, aka the Peach Paint Incident(11:10) Caroline digs into her burning questions about honeymoon sex(19:10) I want to talk about the compounding value of time spent together (https://bit.ly/392lfIT), Caroline is having none of it(28:00) Will our wedding be the best day of our lives?(41:50) Are time and sexual attraction inversely correlated?(46:49) I mention Emily Nagoski on The Knowledge Project Podcast on trust in sexual relationships (https://bit.ly/33vNE96)Thanks for listening. If any of this hits home for you or sparks a conversation between you and your partner, we'd love to hear from you.  Find us on Instagram @caroclaireburke or @ri_soserious.- Riley AcknowledgmentsThanks as always to our wonderful family and friends who have helped along the way. Specifically, our muse @floriandelomme for his generosity in allowing us the use of his Tulum sunset in our cover art; @anka1027 for her knowledge of all things podcasting; her renaissance husband @gnarliehewson for our highly rad intro music; and, of course, @mollylophotography and @edwardslater, whose empathy and talent are on display in every photo of our wedding (and could be for yours—message them directly or visit their website).

Firsts. They matter. Whether they are life altering or just another day gone by, something about a first time feels different. This week, Amanda Thomas will be reading two anonymous stories about firsts. One story reflects on selfless first love, while the second explores the empowerment she felt after losing her virginity. All identifying information has been changed. The music included in this episode was sourced from the Free Music Archive. Featured songs include Wireless and Let That Sink In by Lee Rosevere, licensed under an Attribution-NonCommercial License, and I Think I Love You and Awkward Situation by Borrtex.

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1. Bass Ace - Illusions 2. DJ Antonio & Natasha Grineva - Last Kiss 2019 (Speed Up +) 3. Denart feat. Sulimova - Never Forget You 4. Kapral feat. Антон Балков - 17 (Baby, I Think I Love You) 5. DJ Stranger - Secret Of Love (Coffee Face Remix) 6. DJ Dado – X-Files (Bertsay Vs Multimen & Nifiant Version) 7. Discotronic - Tricky Disco (DJ Kelme Remix) 8. Likay Sencan - Do It (Binayz & S-Nike Remix) 9. Xxxtentacion - Moonlight (Skill x Zan Remix) 10. Maxx Play feat. Zimri - Boo Who 11. Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love (Balu Remix) 12. Mark Ronson feat. Miley Cyrus - Nothing Breaks Like A Heart (Amice Remix) 13. Sean Aaron - Pay My Dues Feat Jhevere (VetLove & Mike Drozdov Remix) 14. Al l bo - See 2 You (Hopeful Peace & The Soap Opera Remix) 15. Selivanov - Hold On To Hope (feat. Sergi Yaro)

We open with I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family. Great Theme song as we celebrate Valentine's Day. Today we talk about the great Albert Finney's passing. Next we discuss our favorite pizza for national pizza day. We then talk about the most popular gifts to give on Valentine's Day, the best songs to have sex to, common sexual fantasies between men & women and the worst pick up lines. Plus we also give you a Pocket Size Cinema. LINKS:    Partridge Family Music                       Today's Show Is Sponsored by      

We open with I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family. Great Theme song as we celebrate Valentine's Day. Today we talk about the great Albert Finney's passing. Next we discuss our favorite pizza for national pizza day. We then talk about the most popular gifts to give on Valentine's Day, the best songs to have sex to, common sexual fantasies between men & women and the worst pick up lines. Plus we also give you a Pocket Size Cinema. LINKS:    Partridge Family Music                       Today's Show Is Sponsored by      

Will the ashes of the late, great entertainer David Cassidy be spread over the grounds at Saratoga? Plus, a new study aims to find out exactly how Lasix works in horses.

I sat down with Kam Franklin, lead singer of The Suffers, and learned more about her amazing story while breaking down some of the strategies that have led to her success. Kam began her journey as a local artists in Houston, singing in cover bands. Early on she the personal decision to raise her standards and build a career that was true herself and her art. Kam Franklin has went on to build a global fan base for her music. Some of her past performances include Afro Punk, The Jimmy Kimmel Show and signing the national anthem at Minute Maid Park during her hometown Houston Astros World Series Run. She's an open book for upcoming artist and share's many jewels in our conversation that anyone in pursuit of a dream can find value in implementing. Check out The Suffers latest single "I Think I Love You" and learn more about her here http://www.thesuffers.com

Welcome to my Valentine's Day edition of "I Think I Love You" I get to sit down with my friend TaSha Douglas. We go over the 5 different Love Languages and how we can use them in our everyday lives. Go take the Love Language test at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ Go follow Tasha: @Tashadouglas Follow my podcast at: IG: @Loverboylos Twitter: @Loverboyloso FB Page: I Think I Love You

This week on StoryWeb: The Partridge Family’s song “I Think I Love You.” Fifth grade – and the song I can’t get out of my head is “I Think I Love You.” Every girl at Griffith Elementary School – make it every girl at schools around the United States – feels the same way. How we swooned over David Cassidy, the teen idol who played a made-for-TV band’s lead singer. The fictional band was The Partridge Family, based loosely on the real-life Cowsills, a family pop band popular in the late ’60s. The TV show debuted in fall 1970, just a month after “I Think I Love You” had been released as a single. The show featured Shirley Jones as a widowed mother of five children, who scheme to put together a band as a way of helping the family financially. Amazingly enough, this unknown family band has its debut at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas! Jones’s real-life stepson, David Cassidy, played Keith, the oldest of Shirley Partridge’s children. Susan Dey, Danny Bonaduce, and two younger children rounded out the family cast. Like many girls my age, I tuned in every Friday night to The Partridge Family. In fact, it was the first show my family watched when we got our first color TV. We were watching Shirley Partridge and her kids, when the camera zoomed in for a very tight close-up of Shirley Jones’s face, complete with bright orange – nearly neon orange – lipstick. What a thing to see on a color set! My younger brother exclaimed, “Look at them lips!” And with that the TV sparked and went dead. No more Partridge Family. We have laughed ever since about those technicolor lips of Shirley Jones. Although the actors “performed” songs as part of the show, most of them were actually lip-syncing. The only actors who performed in the band were David Cassidy, as lead singer, and Shirley Jones, who sang backup. So the 45s and albums that my friends and I purchased with our allowance money didn’t actually feature Susan Dey and Danny Bonaduce, but instead were the product of an anonymous studio band. This made no difference to us – for it was David Cassidy we wanted, and he was there front and center. Though fifth-grade girls could not have known – yet – that pressing, anxious, heart-stopping feeling you get when you are falling in love but haven’t yet “confessed” that love, we nevertheless gladly sang along. Of course, like every school girl, I dreamed that Keith/David was singing that song to me. That was the magic of the song: this cute, cute heartthrob seemed to be confessing his love to me – and I loved him right back. Unbelievably, “I Think I Love You” – a song by a fictitious band – hit #1 on the Billboard charts. Since 1970, there have been many cover versions, including those by Andy Williams, Perry Como, Paul Westerberg, and David’s daughter Katie Cassidy. David Cassidy himself recorded an updated solo version in 2003. To go behind the scenes with the Partridge Family, check out Shirley Jones’s 2014 memoir or one of David Cassidy’s two books: C’mon, Get Happy: Fear and Loathing on the Partridge Family Bus and Could It Be Forever? My Story. You might want to visit David Cassidy’s official website. To get the original version of “I Think I Love You,” you can buy the group’s first album, simply titled The Partridge Family Album. The complete TV series is available on DVD. Visit thestoryweb.com/partridge for links to all these resources and to see The Partridge Family perform “I Think I Love You” as part of the episode titled “My Son, the Feminist.” I’m under no illusion that The Partridge Family was great television or that the music released under their moniker was any good. But I can say that I still know every single word to “I Think I Love You” and that I am willing to belt it out if ever I am asked. My fifth-grade self would be proud.

Once again, Jen and Dawn go on a journey of re-discovery through one of horror's most beloved franchises: Scream. It is still very 90's journey, filled with regrettable fashion choices that Jen just doesn't understand. Your hosts also endure college theatre flashbacks complete with what Dawn thought was a mis-remembered piece of Greek Literature, but it turns out she was right. Which of course, meant Jen got to school her on the origins of Ghostface. So... tie? This episode is the first part of a two-parter that covers Scream and Scream 2. The First part can be found on our website or wherever you catch your podcasts. Thanks always to The Shape for the intro music. "I Think I Love You" by Less Than Jake We are now available in iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and all your favorite podcatchers. Or, get our RSS feed on Soundcloud! Please rate and review us, we love to hear from you all. And support us on our Patreon (www.patreon.com/womenincaskets)! Sign up to access exclusive monthly podcasts and other special events and help us bring you even more crazy Women In Caskets content!

The evolution of the bubblegum pop sound from the Platinum Age (1904-1950) to the Atomic Age (1950-1966) to the Golden Age (1966-1970)! A scholarly definition of bubblegum music! Bubblegum is the basic sound of rock'n' roll – minus the rage, fear, and violence, wrote legendary rock critic Lester Bangs, and we follow the growth of that basic sound through almost 150 bubblegum songs from Bob Roberts' "The Woodchuck Song" in 1904 to The Partridge Family's "I Think I Love You" in 1970 and everything in between!

Better late than never! Song listing: Star Pilots - In The Heat Of The Night Sam Obernik & Hook N Sling, Richard Dinsdale - Edge Of The Earth Heart Of Space vs. Alex Barattini - Lose Your Love Dave Aude' Featuring Elijah - Holdin On Robert Abigail and DJ Rebel feat. The Gibson Brothers - Cuba D-Unity, DJ Chus - Burn In Hell Jamie Lewis Feat. Cynthia Manley - Sunshine Hotel Jason Rivas feat. Miss Lyntty - Freed from Desire Inaya Day vs Menini & Viani - Sweet Lover (And So We Said) Cajmere & Dajae - Brighter Days Jennifer Lopez - Papi Micro Vs. Dhany - On Your Road Peter Gelderblom - Satisfaction Denis The Menace & Markus Binapfl feat. Rachele - Sunshine In My Heart Nic Fanciulli & Joris Voorn - Together FM Audio - Killer 2K11 Truelove - Rock The Cashbah Wally Lopez - Welcome Home Jon Rundell - Knick Knack The Reason 4 - Take It All Spencer Parker - I Think I Love You Z Factor - Keep On Jumpin Crazibiza - Spinning Around Room 24 - Round N'Round The Good Men - Give It Up Lady GaGa - You And I Leona Lewis - Collide Jaydee - Plastic Dreams WaWa feat. Eddie Amador - The After Party 2011 Tune Brothers & Jolly - Hey Club Crusaders - Live It Up Blake Lewis - Till We See The Sun Deborah Cox - If It Wasn't For Love Happy Listening,