Podcasts about teens

Our guest, Missy Bell, is the Director of San Diego for Olive Crest, an organization dedicated to preventing child abuse by strengthening, equipping, and restoring children and families in crisis one life at a time. In this conversation with Jami, she brings wisdom and insight into common fears parents have when deciding to adopt a teen and how to overcome them.

Teens need specific support from their parents, but for various reasons many parents struggle to understand and provide this support.What specific support do teenagers need?How can parents and others best support teenagers to support good mental health?Join me, Dr Julie, as we talk candidly about what teenagers are facing today, the specific support they need from their parents, and how CBT tools can help.Click to listen now! Visit us on Instagram at MyCBTPodcast Or on Facebook at Dr Julie Osborn Subscribe to the podcast at Apple Podcasts Email us at mycbtpodcast@gmail.com Find some fun CBT tools at https://www.mycbt.store/ Thanks for listening to My CBT Podcast!

What happens when a generation openly pursues the supernatural while turning away from God, searching for meaning and identity in everything but Him? Ray, E.Z., Mark, and Oscar dive into the rising tide of paganism, astrology, witchcraft, and spiritual experimentation among Gen Z, exploring why young people are so drawn to these practices and what this reveals about both the culture and the church. The guys emphasize that this hunger points to a deeper spiritual void that only Christ can fill, and that understanding it is crucial for anyone seeking to disciple this generation.The guys examine whether Hollywood, social media, and platforms like TikTok are driving this movement or merely amplifying what has been quietly growing for years. They describe a rudderless generation marked by shallow conversions, suppressed truth, and a tendency to credit themselves rather than God for meaning. When sin is never crucified with Christ, the Spirit is quenched, and practices like tarot, astrology, or alternative spirituality rush in to fill the vacuum. Some of the guys share personal experiences from before their salvation, recalling encounters with the spiritual realm that they once dismissed but now recognize as very real.Rather than responding with fear, the conversation moves to hope and practical discernment. Oscar notes that a pagan is often closer to conversion than a hardened materialist, because the longing for transcendence reveals a God-given hunger. As secularism flattens culture into monotony, people seek healing and purpose wherever they can find it. Paganism may offer a sense of community, empowerment, or entertainment, but only Christ provides true identity, restoration, and lasting transformation. Healing is never about managing energies or seeking control—it is found solely in the Savior who gave Himself fully for humanity.The episode concludes with a sober call to vigilance and faithfulness. Witchcraft and paganism promise freedom without moral restraint, yet scripture clearly warns that they defile and deceive, and these influences now touch the church as much as the world. The guys caution that counterfeit spirituality and emotionalism often center on man rather than God, making discernment essential. Studying scripture is the key to recognizing false teachings, because counterfeits constantly evolve. Jesus is not one spiritual option among many; He is the singular way, truth, and life, and genuine repentance requires turning away from every other doorway and following Him completely, embracing the hope and transformation only He can offer.Send us a textThanks for listening! If you've been helped by this podcast, we'd be grateful if you'd consider subscribing, sharing, and leaving us a comment and 5-star rating! Visit the Living Waters website to learn more and to access helpful resources!You can find helpful counseling resources at biblicalcounseling.com.Check out The Evidence Study Bible and the Basic Training Course.You can connect with us at podcast@livingwaters.com. We're thankful for your input!Learn more about the hosts of this podcast.Ray ComfortEmeal (“E.Z.”) ZwayneMark SpenceOscar Navarro

When communities lead, care works: culturally grounded support, early intervention, and multiple doors to emotional wellness. In this episode, host Sharlee Dixon sits down with Dr. Cara McNulty, CEO of Vibrant Emotional Health, the national organization behind the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, serving more than five million people each year. A population health scientist and nationally recognized leader, Cara is committed to breaking down stigma and democratizing access to mental health care across the country. Before joining Vibrant, she served as President of Behavioral Health and Mental Well-being at CVS Health, where she launched bold, data-driven initiatives, including a strategy to reduce suicide attempts by 20% among Aetna members, and helped spearhead Minnesota's transformational population health legislation. With a doctorate in public administration and decades of experience translating evidence-based science into scalable solutions, Cara is passionate about building a society where emotional wellness is accessible to all. Together, Sharlee and Cara explore how community-driven peer support, led by people with lived experience, is reshaping youth mental health. They discuss how families can better navigate complex systems, access culturally competent care, recognize early warning signs, and create identity-affirming spaces where teens feel seen, supported, and empowered to thrive. The conversation also looks at the systemic changes needed to ensure emotional wellness isn't a privilege, but a possibility for every young person.   For more information about Vibrant Emotional Health, please visit: https://www.vibrant.org/ For more information about Vibrant Emotional Health's Community Programs, please visit: https://www.vibrant.org/what-we-do/community-programs/ For more information about 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, please visit: https://988lifeline.org If you're interested in supporting Vibrant Emotional Health through donation, please visit: https://www.vibrant.org/donate/ Connect with Vibrant Emotional Health on social media: on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vibrantforall/ on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vibrantforall/ on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/vibrantforall on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/VibrantForAll on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@vibrantforall on X: https://x.com/vibrantforall

Is The Summer I Turned Pretty romantic or toxic? Is Heartstopper sweet or cringe? Hillary talks with pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer and sex educator Shafia Zaloom about love stories in YA TV, old classics teens are into, and why so many of these shows end with a dude chasing a woman down in Paris. Do you want to talk about these shows with Hillary? You can, on our new Discord! All you need to do is join LST+. … Shows discussed • The Summer I Turned Pretty • K-Pop Demon Hunters • Heartstopper • Heated Rivalry • Friends • Sex and the City • Sex Education … Recommendations from the archive • #241 TV to Spark Conversations with Adolescent Kids • #238 Shafia Zaloom's Playful Approach to Sex Ed • #237 YOU KNOW WHAT: An LST Spinoff … More Shafia • Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between • Getting Real About Sex Ed … More Kristen • The Nightly - a bedtime podcast for pop culture lovers • Happy to Be Here - featuring a My So-Called Life rewatch • How to Be Fine … • Join LST+ for community and access to You Know What, another show in the Longest Shortest universe! • Follow us on Instagram • Sign up for our newsletter, where we recommend other parenting + reproductive health media • Buy books by LST guests (your purchase supports the show!) • Website: longestshortesttime.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever wonder what is going on in the minds of your teens? You will be surprised what is on their minds and how much it will impact your heart. Let me know your biggest takeaway. Also, feel free to go to www.herbalfacefood.com and use the coupon code Harmony20 for 20% off your first order to support the show. Subscribe on Apple! Subscribe on Android! Join my FREE parenting bootcamp! Let's Connect! Here's where you can find me: Learn more at https://www.coachingkelly.com. Find me on Instagram! Find me on Facebook!

Kids and teens these days face all kinds of stressors, including pressures around beauty and body image. In today's episode I talk with Dr. Chinwé Williams all about the power of connection in building both emotional resilience and body image resilience in kids and teen.  Dr. Chinwé Williams is a speaker, best-selling author, and Licensed and Board-Certified therapist whose expertise includes child and adolescent development, women's wellness, & anxiety and trauma management. In today's conversation, we discuss Dr. Williams' most recent book, entitled Calm, Courageous, and Connected: A Parent's Guide to Raising Emotionally Resilient Kids. Specifically, she discusses how and why building emotional resilience is a relational posture, how she sees beauty and body image pressures impacting kids and teens, and the emotional impact of young people getting the message that their value comes from their appearance.Dr. Williams' insights are both wise and encouraging. May you leave this conversation feeling empowered to see and connect more deeply with the young people in your life.Buy Melissa L. Johnson's book, Soul-Deep Beauty: Fighting for Our True Worth in a World Demanding Flawless, here. Learn more about Impossible Beauty and join the community here.

Gen Z is increasingly exploring paganism, astrology, and spiritual experimentation as they search for meaning, identity, and purpose. Ray, E.Z., Mark, and Oscar discuss how these practices reflect a God-given hunger for transcendence, but only Christ offers lasting transformation, true healing, and real community. The guys emphasize that the church must respond with discernment, grounded in Scripture, and faithful discipleship to guide young people away from counterfeits and toward the hope, truth, and life found solely in Jesus. They warn that secular influences, social media, and popular culture often amplify curiosity in the supernatural while promoting shallow or false conversions, leaving many spiritually rudderless. The guys highlight the danger of allowing counterfeit spirituality and emotionalism to define worship, noting that practices centered on self rather than God can mislead believers. Ultimately, they remind listeners that Jesus is not one of many spiritual options but the singular way to life, and that true repentance and transformation come only from turning fully to Him.Send us a textThanks for listening! If you've been helped by this podcast, we'd be grateful if you'd consider subscribing, sharing, and leaving us a comment and 5-star rating! Visit the Living Waters website to learn more and to access helpful resources!You can find helpful counseling resources at biblicalcounseling.com.Check out The Evidence Study Bible and the Basic Training Course.You can connect with us at podcast@livingwaters.com. We're thankful for your input!Learn more about the hosts of this podcast.Ray ComfortEmeal (“E.Z.”) ZwayneMark SpenceOscar Navarro

What do you do when your tween or teen is convinced school doesn't matter because they're definitely going to be an influencer? If your child talks more about TikTok fame than homework, dismisses “real jobs,” or seems completely disengaged from school and real-world relationships, this episode is for you. Parents today are navigating brand-new territory, and it can feel scary, frustrating, and isolating when your kid's ambitions seem disconnected from reality. In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan respond to a parent letter about a tween absolutely convinced of their future influencer fame, while academic failure and emotional strain mount at home. They unpack what's normal, what's concerning, and how parents can respond without crushing their child's dreams or losing their relationship.

*Note from Mark and Jill: We're so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! Experiencing infidelity or broken trust in your marriage is one of the hardest challenges a couple can face, but that doesn't mean it has to be the end your relationship. In this conversation, we are wrapping up our series on what it looks like to heal from betrayal in marriage, and this time, we are talking about the final step—how to move forward.The road to restoration and reconciliation is not an easy path to take, but if both spouses are committed, all the hard work is so worth it. From personal experience, we can say that it is absolutely possible to transform your marriage into something that's even better and healthier than it was before. We call this achieving a “2.0 marriage.”To get there, you have to go through the four phases of affair recovery: rupture, repentance, reconciliation, and finally rebuilding trust. The fourth one is typically the longest phase of the journey, and that's the chapter we're focusing on today.In this episode, you'll hear:The elements of a healthy apologyWhat it means to “push accountability”Why personal growth is an important part of rebuilding your marriageAnd more!We hope that hearing our personal story of crisis, repair, and recovery has been helpful to you! If you've been walking through infidelity or broken trust, our goal with this series was to provide a valuable resource on your road to rebuilding your marriage.No More Perfect Marriages: https://amzn.to/4bLuwZZMy Heart is Broken: https://amzn.to/3YQZA32I Really Messed Up: https://amzn.to/4sJ81LgFind resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/recovering-from-infidelity-283Join us for 6 weeks of our Great Sexpectations focus in our Date Night membership where we dive deep into intimacy. Sign-up today!Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill's Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You're the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

I am so happy to welcome Dr. Ellen Braaten back for her third time on the show! In case you missed those episodes and/or need a refresher, Dr. Ellen Braaten is the founding director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program at Massachusetts General Hospital and an associate professor at Harvard Medical School. She is a prolific researcher and author whose work focuses on ADHD, learning disorders, child psychopathology, processing speed, intelligence, and children's motivation, including bestselling books for parents and professionals. Deeply committed to public education, she frequently speaks on child mental health topics and contributes to both local and national media. In our conversation, we talk about why unmotivated kids rarely fit neatly into a single category, with Dr. Braaten explaining that children may struggle with motivation for a variety of reasons, such as cognitive overload, emotional fatigue, repeated failure, or even a lack of clear identity. She also explains why framing these challenges as brain-based skills, rather than personal failings, can help change the way parents and clinicians respond. We also discuss the narrowing of opportunities in schools today, why kids need space to discover their own strengths beyond academics and athletics, and how uncomfortable emotions such as shame, anxiety, or regret can silently block motivation. Dr. Braaten's workbook is designed not just for children but for the adults supporting them, and she shares how parents, teachers, and therapists can use its activities to spark meaningful conversations, assess where a child gets stuck, and offer guidance without shame. It's about collaboration, not enforcement, and about helping kids take ownership of their growth while navigating setbacks safely. This episode of the show will surely resonate with anyone supporting tweens and teens, whether you're a parent, educator, or clinician, and offers strategies to help young people (and even adults) rediscover what matters to them, reclaim their motivation, and move forward with confidence! Show Notes: [2:09] - Hear how Dr. Ellen Braaten realized poor motivation affects everyone, especially during stressful, sleep-deprived times. [5:40] - Motivation consists of initiation, persistence, and desire, and can be treated as a learnable skill. [7:56] - Dr. Braaten discusses how kids today struggle to find identity due to overwhelming choices and early specialization pressures. [9:52] - Dr. Braaten argues that strengths extend beyond academics and sports, yet schools rarely provide opportunities to explore diverse talents. [11:51] - Hear how setbacks, injuries, or missed guidance can lead to regret. [13:44] - Breaking motivation into initiation, intensity, and persistence can help kids, parents, and clinicians clarify obstacles. [16:28] - Dr. Braaten points out how even small changes, like better sleep, improve motivation. [18:04] - Parents should balance support and independence, empowering children while preventing guilt or overwhelming hovering. [21:18] - Anxiety and post-pandemic habits have reduced face-to-face engagement, creating cycles that undermine motivation. [23:04] - Dr. Braaten's workbook is best used with adults as guides, sparking conversations about identity and priorities. [26:05] - Hear how to contact Dr. Braaten. Links and Related Resources: Episode 61: Slow Processing Speed with Dr. Ellen Braaten Episode 107: How to Motivate Kids Who Couldn't Care Less with Dr. Ellen Braaten Dr. Ellen Braaten & Hillary Bush - The Motivation Mindset Workbook: Helping Teens and Tweens Discover What They Love to Do   Connect with Dr. Ellen Braaten: Dr. Ellen Braaten's Website  

Is your teen's behavior a sign that something is “wrong”… or could it be part of normal development in a high-pressure world?When should parents seek help—and when might labels actually do more harm than good? In this powerful and thought-provoking episode, Colleen O'Grady sits down with child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Sami Timimi, author of Searching for Normal. With over 35 years in the UK's National Health Service, Dr. Timimi challenges many of the assumptions parents have been taught about teen mental health. Together, they explore why diagnoses like ADHD, autism, anxiety, and depression have exploded—and why medicalizing distress can sometimes steal hope instead of restoring it. This conversation reframes teen behavior through the lens of context, development, relationships, and resilience, reminding parents that emotions are not emergencies and that most teens are not broken—they're responding to a stressful world. About Dr. Sami Timimi Dr. Sami Timimi is a British child and adolescent psychiatrist with more than three decades of clinical experience in the UK's National Health Service. He has authored numerous academic papers and books and is widely known for his critiques of the over-medicalization of mental health. In Searching for Normal, Dr. Timimi offers a deeply humane, evidence-based challenge to psychiatric labeling and invites families to reclaim a more hopeful, relational understanding of distress. Three Takeaways for Parents Distress is not the same as disorder. Many teen struggles are understandable responses to pressure, change, and context—not signs of lifelong pathology. Labels shape identity—and not always in helpful ways. Diagnoses can unintentionally limit teens, increase fear, and turn temporary struggles into permanent stories. Relationships matter more than control. Teens don't need to be “fixed”—they need connection, patience, and adults who aren't afraid of emotions. Follow at: https://www.instagram.com/dr_samitimimi/?hl=en Learn More at: https://www.samitimimi.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you rather get a win or avoid a loss? Want to test yourself on how well you can recognize fallacies in real life? Take the Meme Fallacy Quiz! www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/quiz Learn more about Crazy Thinkers membership where you can practice critical thinking using real-life memes, articles & headlines: www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/crazy Here's how you can purchase the Logical Fallacies ebook: https://www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/offers/z6xbAcB2 Send me any questions, comments or even the fallacies you're seeing around you! think@filteritthroughabraincell.com Or, tag me on Instagram: @filteritthroughabraincell Sign up on my email list at: www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/contact Learn more about Classical Conversations: www.classicalconversations.com/filterit Thank you to our sponsor, CTC Math! Website: https://www.ctcmath.com/?tr_id=brain Homeschool page: https://www.ctcmath.com/how-it-works/home-school?tr_id=brain Free trail: https://www.ctcmath.com/trial?tr_id=brain Special offer! Get 1/2-off discounts plus bonus 6-months free! Critical Thinking for Teens Logical Fallacies for Teens Cognitive Biases for Teens Homeschool Logic Critical thinking for Middle schoolers

Starfleet Academy is back with a brand-new episode, and this week the spotlight is on the Klingons. We're breaking down the latest chapter, diving into early ratings for the newest Star Trek series, and making first contact with Trekkies in Texas.All that and more on Trekcast.News:Starfleet Academy Struggleshttps://screenrant.com/star-trek-starfleet-academy-streaming-struggles-january-2026/Texas Trek Festhttps://www.dallasobserver.com/music/trek-fest-will-take-north-texas-to-the-great-beyond-for-a-day-40639542/The Best Star Trek Movie Streaming Freehttps://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/ent/scifi/galaxy-quest-review.htmlTrekcast: The Galaxy's Most Unpredictable Star Trek Podcast!Welcome to Trekcast, the galaxy's most unpredictable Star Trek podcast! We're a fan-made show that dives into everything Star Trek, plus all things sci-fi, nerdy, and geeky—covering Star Wars, Marvel, DC Comics, Stargate, and more.But Trekcast isn't just about warp drives and superheroes. If you love dad jokes, rescuing dogs, and even saving bears, you'll fit right in! Expect fun, laughs, and passionate discussions as we explore the ever-expanding universe of fandom.Join us for a wild ride through the stars—subscribe to Trekcast today! Connect with us: trekcasttng@gmail.comLeave us a voicemail - (570) 661-0001‬Check out our merch store at Trekcast.comHelp support the show - ko-fi.com/trekcastBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/star-trek-podcast-trekcast--5651491/support.

Young people today face unprecedented challenges with their faith. On today's edition of Family Talk, Roger Marsh welcomes best-selling author Lee Strobel to discuss his new book, Is God Real? for Teens. Strobel shares amazing scientific and historical evidence that supports Christianity and offers practical ways parents and grandparents can help teens overcome doubt and build lasting faith. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/707/29?v=20251111

Timestamps: 00:00 - Welcome & Book Announcement 01:00 - Why Sleep Matters 02:13 - How Much Sleep Teens Need 03:05 - Building a Bedtime Routine 03:45 - Blue Light & EMF Dangers 04:52 - Foods That Help You Sleep 05:23 - Morning Light & Grounding 06:08 - Evening Wind-Down Strategies 07:49 - Q&A: Reading Before Bed 08:31 - Creating the Perfect Sleep Environment 09:35 - Plants & Air Quality 10:53 - What the Holistic Kids Do 12:45 - About the Teen Health Revolution Book 15:40 - Closing & New Year Message Join the Holistic Kids as they dive into why sleep is one of the most important investments teens can make for their health. In this live episode, they break down the science of sleep, share why over half of US children aren't getting enough rest, and reveal practical tips from their bestselling book "Teen Health Revolution." Discover:  How much sleep teens actually need (and why it matters)  The impact of blue light and EMFs on your brain  Foods that help you sleep better (hello, avocados!)  Creating the perfect bedtime routine and sleep environment  Why your phone needs to stay out of your bedroom Whether you're struggling to fall asleep, wake up groggy, or just want to optimize your rest, this episode is packed with actionable advice from teens who've made sleep a priority. Plus, they answer live questions about reading before bed and more! Featuring insights from 200+ health experts compiled in the Teen Health Revolution book, this episode proves that sleep isn't boring—it's essential for growth, brain development, and overall wellness. Perfect for: Teens, parents, educators, and anyone looking to improve their sleep habits naturally. ----   Learn more about Dr. Madiha Saeed at https://holisticmommd.com, or follow her on social media @HolisticMomMD

In this week's episode of Bikinis After Babies, we are diving into the topic of how to navigate prep and personal fitness goals throughout the different stages of motherhood amidst the various challenges and constant changes to routines and schedules.  As active competitors with kids of various ages, we have walked the walk of juggling the responsibilities of motherhood while getting ‘stage ready' and in this episode, we are sharing helpful insight and useful strategies to help our audience find balance while managing it all.From the newborn stage, to the messy middle and finally, the empty nesting phase, we stress the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle as a means of self care.  We know that as hard as it can be, embracing change while continuing to set new goals is the key to success in this sport and in life!  We hope that you enjoyed this episode and if so, we would LOVE it if you would rate, subscribe, and leave us reviews on how this podcast has helped you

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie Kimball of Raising Healthy Families. We discussed getting kids in the kitchen and getting them to love cooking, raising teenagers and why they are wonderful, managing screens at different ages, and what kind of skills kids need to become independent, well-rounded and self-sufficient once they leave our homes.Make sure to check out Katie's course Teens Cook Real Food! **If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!We talk about:* [00:00] Introduction to the episode and guest Katie Kimball; overview of topics (cooking, teens, life skills, screens)* [00:01] Katie's background: former teacher, mom of four, and how her work evolved into teaching kids and teens to cook* [00:04] Why the teen years are actually great; what teens need developmentally (agency and autonomy)* [00:08] Beneficial risk and safe failure; how building competence early reduces anxiety later* [00:10] Getting kids into cooking: start small, build confidence, and let them cook food they enjoy* [00:16] Cooking as a life skill: budgeting, independence, and preparing for adulthood* [00:21] Screen time: focusing on quality (consumptive vs. creative vs. social) instead of just limits* [00:25] Practical screen strategies used in Katie's family* [00:28] Motivating teens to cook: future-casting and real-life relevance (first apartment, food costs)* [00:33] Teens Cook Real Food course: what it teaches and why Katie created it* [00:37] Fun foods teens love making (pizza, tacos)* [00:39] Where to find Katie and closing reflectionsResources mentioned in this episode:* Teens Cook Real Food Course https://raisinghealthyfamilies.com/PeacefulParenting* Evelyn & Bobbie bras: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/bra* Yoto Screen Free Audio Book Player https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/yoto* The Peaceful Parenting Membership https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership* How to Stop Fighting About Video Games with Scott Novis: Episode 201 https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/how-to-stop-fighting-about-video-games-with-scott-novis-episode-201/Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahrosensweet/* Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/peacefulparentingfreegroup* YouTube: Peaceful Parenting with Sarah Rosensweet @peacefulparentingwithsarah4194* Website: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com* Join us on Substack: https://substack.com/@sarahrosensweet* Newsletter: https://reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session call: https://book-with-sarah-rosensweet.as.me/schedule.phpxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team-click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HEREPodcast Transcript:Sarah: Hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Katie Kimball of Raising Healthy Families. She has been helping parents feed their kids and, more recently—in the past few years—teach their kids to cook. We had a great conversation about getting kids in the kitchen and getting them to love cooking, and also about raising teenagers and what kind of skills kids need to become independent. We also talked about screens, because any parent of a teenager who also supports other parents—I want to hear about what they do with getting kids to be less screen-focused and screen-dependent.Katie had some great tips in all of these areas, including cooking, feeding our families, and screens. In some ways, we're just talking about how do we raise kids who are independent, well-rounded, and have the skills they need to live independently—and those things all come into play.I hope that you really enjoy this conversation with Katie as much as I did. Let's meet Katie.Hi, Katie. Welcome to the podcast.Katie: Thank you so much, Sarah. I'm honored to talk to your audience.Sarah: I'm so excited to talk to you about teenagers, raising teenagers, life skills, screens—there are so many things to dive into. You seem like a very multifaceted person with all these different interests. Tell us about who you are and what you do.Katie: I do have a little bit of a squirrel brain, so I'm constantly doing something new in business. That means I can talk about a lot of things. I've been at the parenting game for 20 years and in the online business world for 17. I'm a teacher by trade and a teacher by heart, but I only taught in the classroom for about two years before I had my kids. I thought, “I can't do both really, really well,” so I chose the family, left the classroom, and came home.But my brain was always in teacher mode. As I was navigating the path and the journey of, “How do I feed these tiny humans?”—where every bite counts so much—I was really walking that real-food journey and spending a lot of time at the cutting board. My brain was always going, “How can I help other moms make this path easier?” I made so many mistakes. I burned so much food. There's so much tension around how you balance your budget with your time, with the nutrition, and with all the conflicting information that's flying at us.So I felt like I wanted to stand in the middle of that chaos and tell moms, “Listen, there's some stuff you can do that does it all—things that are healthy, save time, and save money.” That's kind of where I started teaching online.Then I shifted to kids' cooking. For the last 10 years, I've been sort of the kids' cooking cheerleader of the world, trying to get all kids in the kitchen and building confidence. It's really been a journey since then. My kids currently are 20, 17, 14, and 11, so I'm in the thick of it.Sarah: We have a very similar origin story: former teacher, then mom, and a brain that doesn't want to stop working. I went with parent coaching, and you went with helping parents with food and cooking, so that's exciting.I can tell from what I've learned about you offline that you love teenagers—and I love teenagers too. We have people in the audience who have teenagers and also people who have littler kids. I think the people with littler kids are like, “I don't want my kids to grow up. I've heard such bad things about teenagers.” What do you want people to know about teenagers? What are some things that you've learned as the mom of younger kids and then teens?Katie: It's such a devastating myth, Sarah, that teens are going to be the awful part of your parenting career—the time you're not supposed to look forward to, the time you have to slog through, and it's going to be so difficult.It's all difficult, right? Don't let anyone tell you parenting's easy—they're lying. But it's so worth it, and it's so great. I love parenting teens. I love conversing with them at such a much higher level than talking to my 11-year-old, and I love watching what they can do. You see those glimpses of what they'll be like when they're a dad, or when they're running around an office, or managing people. It's incredible to be so close. It's like the graduation of parenting. It's exciting.That's what I would want to tell parents of kids younger than teens: look forward to it.I do think there are some things you can do to prepare for adolescence and to make it smoother for everyone. I like to talk about what teens need. We want to parent from a place of what teens developmentally need, and they really need agency and autonomy at that stage. They're developmentally wired to be pushing away—to be starting to make the break with their adults, with that generation that we are in. Sometimes that's really painful as the grown-up. It almost feels like they're trying to hurt us, but what they're really doing is trying to push us away so it doesn't hurt them so badly when they know they need to leave.As parents, it helps to sit with the knowledge that this is not personal. They do not hate me. They're attempting to figure out how to sever this relationship. So what can we do to allow them to do that so they don't have to use a knife? If we can allow them to walk far enough away from us and still be a safe haven they can come home to, the relationship doesn't have to be severed. It just gets more distant and longer apart.When they want independence and autonomy, we need to make sure we give it to them. My tip for parents of younger kids is that, especially around ages 8, 10, 11—depending on maturity level—where can we start providing some agency? My team will say, “Katie, don't say agency. It sounds like you're talking about the FBI or some government letters.” But it's the best word, because agency isn't just choices—it's choices plus control, plus competence to be able to make change in your own life, in your own environment.We can't have agency unless we give our kids skills to actually be able to do something. The choice between “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?” is for toddlers. That's not going to be enough once they're in the stage where their mind is growing and they can critically think. We want to give our kids skills, responsibilities, choices, and some ownership over their lives. That starts in upper elementary school, and it gets bigger and bigger.Sarah: I would argue it starts even earlier. Toddlers can make the red cup or blue cup choice, and as they keep going, you can give them more and more agency.One of my favorite parenting people, Alfie Kohn, says that kids should have the power to make decisions that make us gulp a little bit.Katie: Oh, I love that.Sarah: I think that's true. We come up against our own anxiety too: What if they make the wrong decision? But it's incremental, so the decisions become bigger and bigger as they get older. That's how they practice being able to make good decisions—through experience.Katie: We know statistically that anxiety right now is spiking massively that first year out of high school—where young adults are heading into the world, either to university or for a first job. One theory—one I would get behind—is that everything of adulthood, all the responsibilities, are crashing on their shoulders at once, and they haven't experienced that level of responsibility. Sometimes they haven't had opportunities to fail safely, and they don't know what to do.Sometimes we think we're pushing problems out of their way and that it's helpful, but we're really creating bigger problems down the road. So with that long-term perspective, I love that “gulp.” We've got to let them try and fail and hold back.Sarah: Do you know Lenore Skenazy, who started the Free Range Kids movement? She has a TED Talk that came out recently where she talks about how she attributes the rise in anxiety to the fact that kids never have any unwatched time by adults. They never have room and space to figure out their own way to make things work. Of course, I don't think anyone's saying we should inappropriately not supervise our kids, but they need more freedom. If they don't have freedom to figure things out on their own, that's where the anxiety comes in.Katie: For sure. When Lenore and I have interacted, she likes to call it “beneficial risk.” Climbing the tree is the classic example, but because I love to get kids and teens in the kitchen, we got to talk about the beneficial risk of using sharp knives and playing with fire—literally returning to our ancestral roots.The way I see it, and the way I've seen it played out in my own home: I taught my now 20-year-old to use a chef's knife at age 10. He built competency. He took risks. He discovered how he wanted to navigate in the kitchen. So when he was 15 and getting his driver's permit, I felt pretty peaceful. I thought, “He's so mature. I've seen him make good decisions. He's practiced taking beneficial risks.”I felt confident handing him the driver's license. When it came time for him to get a cell phone—first a kid-safe phone and then a fully unlocked smartphone—I felt like we had been building up to it because of our work in the kitchen. I think he did better than his peers with taking appropriate risks driving a car and having a smartphone in his pocket, because he'd had practice.Sarah: And that was in the kitchen for your family.Katie: Yes.Sarah: Cooking is one of my special interests. I love to cook. My kids love baking. They were never that interested in cooking, although they all can cook and they do cook for themselves. My 21-year-old who has his own apartment has started sending me pictures of the food that he makes. He made some baked chicken thighs with mushrooms the other day, and a green salad. He sent me a picture and I said to my daughter, “Do you want to see a picture of Asa's chicken?” And she said, “Asa got a chicken?” She was picturing it running around. We all laughed so hard because I wouldn't put it past him, honestly.When my kids were younger, they weren't that interested. Maybe I could have gotten them more interested in the cooking part, but I always felt like that was my thing. What tips do you have—for any ages—about how to get kids interested and involved? You said your son was using a chef's knife at age 10. What are some ways to involve kids and get them interested in that skill?Katie: Knives are a great start because they're scary and they're fun—especially for guys. You get to use something dangerous. My second son, John, asked to learn to use a chef's knife, so he learned to use a sharp paring knife at age four and asked to level up to a chef's knife at age seven.For parents of kids who are still in that intrinsic motivation phase—“I want to help”—the good news is you don't have to try. You just have to say yes. You just have to figure out what can my brain handle letting this little person do in the kitchen. If it's “I'm going to teach them to measure a teaspoon of salt,” then do it. Don't let cooking feel like this big to-do list item. It's just one teaspoon of salt.Can I teach them to crack an egg? Can I teach them to flip a pancake? Think of it as one little skill at a time. That's what cooking is: building blocks. If it's something like measuring, you don't have to have them in your elbow room. You can send them to the table; they can have a little spill bowl. Then you can build their motivation by complimenting the meal: “This meal tastes perfect. I think it's the oregano—who measured the oregano?” That's how we treat little ones.The medium-sized ones are a little tougher, and teens are tougher yet. For the medium-sized ones, the best way to get them involved is to create a chance for authentic praise that comes from outside the family—meaning it's not you or your co-parent; it's some other adult. If you're going to a party or a potluck, or you're having people over, figure out how to get that kid involved in one recipe. Then you say to the other adults, “Guess who made the guacamole?” That was our thing—our kids always made the guac when they were little. And other adults say, “What? Paul made the guacamole? That's amazing. This is awesome.” The 10-year-old sees that and blooms with pride. It makes them more excited to come back in the kitchen, feel more of that, and build more competency.Sarah: I love that. That's an invitation, and then it makes them want to do more because it feels good. We talk about that in peaceful parenting too: a nice invitation and then it becomes a prosocial behavior you want to do more of.I started cooking because I wanted to make food that I liked. I'm old enough that I took Home Ec in middle school, and it was my favorite class. I think about my Home Ec teacher, Mrs. Flanagan, my whole adult life because I learned more from her that I still use than from any other teacher. I remember figuring out how to make deep-fried egg rolls in grade seven because I loved egg rolls. You couldn't just buy frozen egg rolls then. So I think food that kids like can be a good way in. Is that something you find too?Katie: One hundred percent. If you're cooking things they don't like, you get the pushback: “Mom, I don't like…” So it's like, “Okay, I would love to eat your meal. What do you want to eat?” And it's not, “Tell me what you want and I'll cook it.” If you meal plan, you get to make all the choices.My kids have been interviewed, and people often ask, “What's your favorite thing about knowing how to cook?” My kids have gotten pretty good at saying, “We get to cook what we like.” It's super motivating.Sarah: When I was growing up, my sister and I each had to make dinner one night a week starting when I was in grade five and she was in grade three. We could make anything we wanted, including boxed Kraft Dinner. I can't remember what else we made at that young age, but it was definitely, “You are cooking dinner, and you get to make whatever you want.”Katie: Why didn't you do that with your own kids, out of curiosity?Sarah: It just seemed like it would take too much organization. I think we tried it a couple times. Organization is not my strong suit. Often dinner at our house—there were lots of nights where people had cereal or eggs or different things for dinner. I love to cook, but I like to cook when the urge hits me and I have a recipe I want to try. I'm not seven nights a week making a lovely dinner.Also, dinner was often quite late at my house because things always take longer than I think. I'd start at six, thinking it would take an hour, and it would be 8:30 by the time dinner was ready. I remember one night my middle son was pouring himself cereal at 6:30. I said, “Why are you having cereal? Dinner's almost ready.” He said, “Mom, it's only 6:30.” He expected it later—that's the time normal people eat dinner.My kids have a lot of freedom, but nobody was particularly interested in cooking. And, to be honest, it felt a bit too early as a responsibility when my sister and I had to do it. Even though I'm glad now that I had those early experiences, it was wanting to make egg rolls that made me into a cook more than being assigned dinner in grade five.Katie: That push and pull of how we were parented and how we apply it now is so hard.Sarah: Yes.Katie: I'm thinking of an encouraging story from one of the families who's done our brand-new Teens Cook Real Food. The mom said it was kind of wild: here they were cooking all this real food and it felt intensive. Over the years she'd slid more into buying processed foods, and through the class, watching her teens go through it, she realized, “Oh my gosh, it's actually not as hard as I remember. I have to coach myself.” They shifted into cooking with more real ingredients, and it wasn't that hard—especially doing it together.Sarah: It's not that hard. And you hear in the news that people are eating a lot of fast food and processed food. I'm not anti-fast food or processed food, but you don't want that to be the only thing you're eating. It's actually really easy to cook some chicken and rice and broccoli, but you have to know how. That's why it's so sad Home Ec has gone by the wayside. And honestly, a whole chicken, some rice, and broccoli is going to be way cheaper than McDonald's for a family of four. Cooking like that is cheaper, not very hard, and healthier than eating a lot of fast food or processed food.Katie: Conversations in the kitchen and learning to cook—it's kind of the gateway life skill, because you end up with conversations about finances and budgeting and communication and thinking of others. So many life skills open up because you're cooking.You just brought up food budget—that could be a great half-hour conversation with a 16- or 17-year-old: “You won't have infinite money in a couple years when you move out. You'll have to think about where you spend that money.” It's powerful for kids to start thinking about what it will be like in their first apartment and how they'll spend their time and money.Sarah: My oldest son is a musician, and he's really rubbing his pennies together. He told me he makes a lot of soups and stews. He'll make one and live off it for a couple days. He doesn't follow a recipe—he makes it up. That's great, because you can have a pretty budget-friendly grocery shop.I also don't want to diss anyone who's trying to keep it all together and, for them, stopping by McDonald's is the only viable option at this moment. No judgment if you're listening and can't imagine having the capacity to cook chicken and rice and broccoli. Maybe someday, or maybe one day a week on the weekend, if you have more time and energy.Katie: The way I explain it to teens is that learning to cook and having the skills gives you freedom and choices. If you don't have the skills at all, you're shackled by convenience foods or fast food or DoorDash. But if you at least have the skills, you have many more choices. Teens want agency, autonomy, and freedom, so I speak that into their lives. Ideally, the younger you build the skills, the more time you have to practice, gain experience, and get better.There's no way your older son could have been making up soups out of his head the first month he ever touched chicken—maybe he's a musician, so maybe he could apply the blues scale to cooking quickly—but most people can't.Sarah: As we're speaking, I'm reflecting that my kids probably did get a lot of cooking instruction because we were together all the time. They would watch me and they'd do the standing on a chair and cutting things and stirring things. It just wasn't super organized.That's why I'm so glad you have courses that can help people learn how to teach their children or have their kids learn on their own.I promised we would talk about screens. I'm really curious. It sounds like your kids have a lot of life skills and pretty full lives. Something I get asked all the time is: with teens and screens, how do you avoid “my kid is on their phone or video games for six or seven hours a day”? What did you do in your family, and what thoughts might help other people?Katie: Absolutely. Parenting is always hard. It's an ongoing battle. I think I'm staying on the right side of the numbers, if there are numbers. I feel like I'm launching kids into the world who aren't addicted to their phones. That's a score, and it's tough because I work on screens. I'm telling parents, “Buy products to put your kids on screen,” so it's like, “Wait.”I don't look at screens as a dichotomy of good or bad, but as: how do we talk to our kids about the quality of their time on screens?Back in 2020, when the world shut down, my oldest, Paul, was a freshman. His freshman year got cut short. He went weeks with zero contact with friends, and he fell into a ton of YouTube time and some video games. We thought, “This is an unprecedented time, but we can't let bad habits completely take over.”We sat down with him and said, “Listen, there are different kinds of screen time.” We qualified them as consumptive—everything is coming out of the screen at you—creative—you're making something—and communicative—you're socializing with other people.We asked him what ways he uses screens. We made a chart on a piece of paper and had him categorize his screen time. Then we asked what he thought he wanted his percentage of screen time to be in those areas—without evaluating his actual time yet. He assigned those times, and then we had him pay attention to what reality was. Reality was 90 to 95% consumptive. It was an amazing lightbulb moment. He realized that to be an agent of his own screen time, he had to make intentional choices.He started playing video games with a buddy through the headphones. That change completely changed his demeanor. That was a tough time.So that's the basis of our conversation: what kind of screen time are you having?For my 11-year-old, he still has minute limits: he sets a timer and stops himself. But if he's playing a game with someone, he gets double the time. That's a quantitative way to show him it's more valuable to be with someone than by yourself on a screen. A pretty simple rule.We'll also say things like, “People over screens.” If a buddy comes over and you're playing a video game, your friend is at the door.That's also what I talk to parents about with our classes: this isn't fully consumptive screen time. We highly edit things. We try to keep it engaging and fun so they're on for a set number of minutes and then off, getting their fingers dirty and getting into the real world. We keep their brains and hands engaged beyond the screen. The only way I can get a chef into your home is through the screen—or you pay a thousand dollars.We can see our screen time as really high quality if we make the right choices. It's got to be roundabout 10, 11, 12: pulling kids into the conversation about how we think about this time.Sarah: I love that. It sounds like you were giving your kids tools to look at their own screen time and how they felt about it, rather than you coming from on high and saying, “That's enough. Get off.”Katie: Trying.Sarah: I approach it similarly, though not as organized. I did have limits for my daughter. My sons were older when screens became ubiquitous. For my daughter, we had a two-hour limit on her phone that didn't include texting or anything social—just Instagram, YouTube, that kind of stuff. I think she appreciated it because she recognized it's hard to turn it off.We would also talk about, “What else are you doing today?” Have you gone outside? Have you moved your body? Have you done any reading? All the other things. And how much screen time do you think is reasonable? Variety is a favorite word around here.Katie: Yes. So much so my 11-year-old will come to me and say, “I've played outside, I've read a book, my homework is done. Can I have some screen time?” He already knows what I'm going to ask. “Yes, Mom, I've had variety.” Then: “Okay, set a timer for 30 minutes.”I have a 14-year-old freshman right now. He does not own a phone.Sarah: Oh, wow. I love that.Katie: In modern America, he knows the pathway to get a phone—and he doesn't want one.Sarah: That's great. I hope we see that more and more. I worry about how much kids are on screens and how much less they're talking to each other and doing things.I had a guest on my podcast who's a retired video game developer. His thing is how to not fight with your kid about video games. One thing he recommends is—even more than playing online with someone else—get them in the same room together. Then they can play more. He has different time rules if you're playing in person with kids in your living room than if you're playing alone or playing online with someone else.Katie: Nice. Totally. My story was from COVID times.Sarah: Yes, that wasn't an option then. Someone I heard say the other day: “Can we just live in some unprecedented times, please?”Katie: Yes, please.Sarah: You mentioned the intrinsic motivation of somebody admiring their guacamole. What are your tips for kids—especially teens—who think they're too busy or just super uninterested in cooking?Katie: Teens are a tough species. Motivation is a dance. I really encourage parents to participate in future casting. Once they're about 15, they're old enough. Academically, they're being future-casted all the time: “What are you going to be when you grow up?” They're choosing courses based on university paths. But we need to future-cast about real life too.Ask your 15-year-old: “Have you ever thought about what it'll be like to be in your first apartment?” Maybe they haven't. That helps reduce that first-year-out-of-home anxiety—to have imagined it. Then they might realize they have gaps. “Would you be interested in making sure you can cook some basic stuff for those first years? When you're cooking at home, it's my money you waste if you screw up.” That can be motivating. “I'm here to help.”Sometimes it comes down to a dictate from above, which is not my favorite. Your sister and you were asked to cook at third and fifth grade. I agree that might be a little young for being assigned a full meal. We start around 12 in our house. But by high school, there's really no reason—other than busy schedules. If they're in a sport or extracurricular daily, that can be rough. So what could they do? Could they make a Sunday brunch? We come home from church every Sunday and my daughter—she's 17, grade 12—she's faster than I am now. She'll have the eggs and sausage pretty much done. I'm like, “I'm going to go change out of my church clothes. Thanks.”If we're creative, there's always some time and space. We have to eat three times a day. Sometimes it might be: “You're old enough. It's important as a member of this household to contribute. I'm willing to work with you on really busy weeks, but from now on, you need to cook on Saturday nights.” I don't think that has to be a massive power struggle—especially with the future casting conversation. If you can get them to have a tiny bit of motivation—tiny bit of thinking of, “Why do I need this?”—and the idea of “If I cook, I get to make what I want,” and the budget.Sarah: The budget too: if you're living in your own apartment, how much do you think rent is? How much do you think you can eat for? It's way more expensive to order out or get fast food than to cook your own food.Katie: I feel so proud as a fellow mom of your son, Asa, for making soups and stuff. In Teens Cook Real Food, we teach how to make homemade bone broth by taking the carcass of a chicken. It's a very traditional skill. On camera, I asked the girls who did it with me to help me figure out what their dollar-per-hour pay rate was for making that, compared to an equal quality you buy in the store. Bone broth at the quality we can make is very expensive—like $5 a cup.They did the math and their hourly pay was over $70 an hour to make that bone broth. Then they have gallons of bone broth, and I call it the snowball effect: you have all this broth and you're like, “I guess I'll make soup.” Soup tends to be huge batches, you can freeze it, and it snowballs into many homemade, inexpensive, nourishing meals.Sarah: I love that. You've mentioned your course a couple times—Teens Cook Real Food. I'm picturing that as your kids grew up, your teaching audience grew up too. Were there other reasons you wanted to teach teens how to cook?Katie: Yes. We've had our kids' cooking class for 10 years now. It just had its 10th birthday. The most often requested topic that's not included in the kids' class is meal planning and grocery shopping. It wasn't something I felt like an eight-year-old needed.For 10 years I had that seed of, “How can I incorporate those important skills of meal planning and grocery shopping?” Then my teens got older, and I thought, “I've told parents of teens that our kids' cooking class will work for them, but it's not enough. It wasn't sufficient.”It was so exciting to put this course together. Even just the thinking—the number of index cards I had on the floor with topics trying to figure out what a young adult needs in their first apartment, how to connect the skills, and how to make it engaging.We ended up with eight teens I hired from my local community—some with cooking experience, some with literally none. We had on-camera accidents and everything. But they learned to cook in my kitchen, and it's all recorded for your teens to learn from.Sarah: I love that. What are some of the recipes that you teach in the course?Katie: We have over 35. We spent a whole day with a chef. He started talking about flavor and how seasonings work, and he taught us the mother sauces—like a basic white sauce, both gluten-free and dairy-free, a couple ways to do that, and a basic red sauce, and a couple ways to do that.My favorite cheeky segment title is “How to Boil Water.” We have a bunch of videos on how to boil water—meaning you can make pasta, rice, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs, boiled potatoes. There's a lot of stuff that goes in water.Then we built on that with “How to Eat Your Vegetables.” We teach sautéing, steaming, and roasting. The first big recipe they learn is a basic sheet pan dinner. We use pre-cooked sausage and vegetables of your choice, seasonings of your choice. It's one of those meals where you're like, “I don't need a recipe. I can just make this up and put it in the oven.”Then, to go with pasta and red sauce, we teach homemade meatballs. We get them at the grill for steak and chicken and burgers. Of course we do French fries in a couple different ways.Choice is a huge element of this course. If we teach something, we probably teach it in two or three or four different ways, so teens can adapt to preferences, food sensitivities, and anything like that.We use the Instant Pot a lot in our “How to Eat Your Protein” segment. We do a pork roast and a beef roast and a whole chicken, and that broth I talked about, and we make a couple different soups with that.Sarah: You almost make me feel like I haven't had lunch yet.Katie: I'm starving, actually.Sarah: I'm quite an adventurous eater and cook, but I'm going to ask you about my two favorite foods—because they're like a child's favorite foods, but my favorite foods are pizza and tacos. Do you do anything with pizza and tacos in your course?Katie: We do both pizza and tacos.Sarah: Good!Katie: Our chef taught us, with that homemade red sauce, to make homemade dough. He said, “I think we should teach them how to make a homemade brick oven and throw the pizzas into the oven.” Throwing means sliding the pizza off a pizza peel onto bricks in your oven. I was like, “We're going to make such a mess,” but they did it. It's awesome.Then we tested it at home: can you just make this in a normal pizza pan? Yes, you can—don't worry. You don't have to buy bricks, but you can. Again, there are different ways.Sarah: I think teenagers would love making pizza on bricks in the oven. For us we're like, “That seems like so much work.” But teenagers are enthusiastic and creative and they have so much energy. They're wonderful human beings. I can see how the brick oven pizza would be a great challenge for them.Katie: It's so fun. My kids, Paul and John—20 and 14—they've both done it at home. As adults we're like, “It's such a mess,” but we're boring people. Teenagers are not boring. So yes—definitely pizza.Sarah: That's awesome. We'll link to your course in the show notes. Before we let you go, where's the best place for people to go and find out more about you and what you do?Katie: Definitely: raisinghealthyfamilies.com/peacefulparenting. We're going to make sure there's always something about teens at that link—whether it's a free preview of the course or a parenting workshop from me. There will always be something exciting for parents there.Sarah: Amazing. It's been such a pleasure. I thought maybe I didn't do all this stuff, but considering how both of my sons who are independent cook for themselves all the time, I think I must have done okay—even if it was just by osmosis.Katie: That's the great thing about keeping your kids near you. That was your peaceful parenting: they were in the kitchen and they were there, as opposed to you booting them out of the kitchen. There are lots of ways.Sarah: My daughter is an incredible baker. She makes the best chocolate chip cookies. I have this recipe for muffin-tin donuts that are amazing, and she's a really great baker. She can find her way around a quesadilla, eggs, and ramen for herself. I think once she moves out, if she doesn't have mom's cooking anymore, she'll probably also be able to cook.Katie: Yes. And so many parents need that bridge. They're like, “My kids love to make cookies. They bake, but they won't shift to cooking.” I would hope that future-casting conversation could be a good bridge.Sarah: Yeah. You can't live on cookies—or you might think you can for a little while, but then you'd start to feel gross.Katie: Exactly.Sarah: Thanks a lot, Katie.Katie: Thank you so much, Sarah. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

In this Teen Tidbit, I share how the kitchen is one of the most powerful places to pass on family values through working side by side toward a common goal. Cooking together naturally opens up conversation and creates opportunities to model what matters most, whether that is serving others, being good stewards of our resources, or choosing real food as part of daily life. I talk about how asking teens to cook foods they may not personally enjoy teaches empathy and service, how flexible cooking skills help reduce food waste and stretch a grocery budget, and how making simple meals from whole ingredients builds healthier habits without being overwhelming. When teens learn to cook, adapt recipes, and use what they already have, they gain far more than a meal, they absorb the values that shape your family culture and carry them into adulthood.Get the parenting video series now at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/teenvids or check out Teens Cook Real Food at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/teenscookResources We Mention for Passing on Family Values in the KitchenTeens Cook Real Food courseFree 3-part video series on parenting teens intentionallyTeen Tidbit 1 on ownershipTeen Tidbit 2 on agencyTeen Tidbit 3 on overcoming perfectionismWays to avoid food wasteCream of vegetable soup frameworkChicken stockHere are some of my favorite baby steps for eating more real food.Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes this week! Apple, Spotify, other options Kitchen Stewardship Raising Healthy Families follow Katie on Instagram or Facebook Subscribe to the newsletter to get weekly updates YouTube shorts channel for HPH Find the Healthy Parenting Handbook at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/podcast Affiliate links used here. Thanks for supporting the Healthy Parenting Handbook!

Two teenage girls in Florida are facing attempted premeditated murder charges after police say an anonymous tip alerted school officials to an alleged plot to kill another student. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As a continually recovering perfectionist myself, I share why that drive to do everything just right can actually hold kids back from starting, trying, and growing. We've all heard “progress over perfection,” but I wanted to explore what that really looks like in everyday life, especially for teenagers who can freeze up when things don't feel exact or guaranteed.The kitchen, in my opinion, is one of the best places to practice letting go of perfection. When I filmed Teens Cook Real Food with eight real teens who were mostly beginners, we captured the messy, real-life moments: broken eggs, small cuts, burned food, and lots of learning along the way. I intentionally pushed them to measure like TV chefs, eyeball seasonings, and move faster than felt comfortable, all to help loosen that grip of perfectionism. Cooking shows us that food doesn't need to be flawless to be delicious, and that it's actually pretty hard to completely mess things up.When kids can aim for “yummy” instead of “five-star restaurant quality,” they gain confidence, experience, and momentum. If you have a teen whose perfectionist tendencies keep them from trying new things or putting themselves out there, cooking can be a powerful and practical way to help them grow.Get the parenting video series now at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/teenvids or check out Teens Cook Real Food at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/teenscookResources We Mention for Overcoming Perfectionism in the KitchenTeens Cook Real Food courseFree 3-part video series on parenting teens intentionallyTeen Tidbit 1 on ownershipTeen Tidbit 2 on agencySubscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes this week! Apple, Spotify, other options Kitchen Stewardship Raising Healthy Families follow Katie on Instagram or Facebook Subscribe to the newsletter to get weekly updates YouTube shorts channel for HPH Find the Healthy Parenting Handbook at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/podcast Affiliate links used here. Thanks for supporting the Healthy Parenting Handbook!

The Cybercrime Magazine Podcast brings you daily cybercrime news on WCYB Digital Radio, the first and only 7x24x365 internet radio station devoted to cybersecurity. Stay updated on the latest cyberattacks, hacks, data breaches, and more with our host. Don't miss an episode, airing every half-hour on WCYB Digital Radio and daily on our podcast. Listen to today's news at https://soundcloud.com/cybercrimemagazine/sets/cybercrime-daily-news. Brought to you by our Partner, Evolution Equity Partners, an international venture capital investor partnering with exceptional entrepreneurs to develop market leading cyber-security and enterprise software companies. Learn more at https://evolutionequity.com

Harvard psychology professor Dr. Ellen Braaten shares exercises, strategies and the science behind how a young brain works and in order to support an emerging motivation mindset in her new workbook, “The Motivation Mindset Workbook.”

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Is your teen pushing for another piercing? Are you feeling torn between setting limits and respecting their self-expression? In this episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens,” Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan take on a question sent directly from a 16-year-old listener: How many piercings should a teen be allowed to have?  What starts as a question about jewelry opens up a much bigger conversation about boundaries, autonomy, culture, identity, and healthy parent-teen tension. Together, Lisa and Reena explore why piercings can matter so much to teens, why they can feel so unsettling to parents, and how families can move toward compromise without power struggles.

*Note from Mark and Jill: We're so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! “Mom, don't be foolish. He's just going to do this again.”Broken trust affects more than just your spouse. There's a ripple effect that goes out and changes every relationship, from your children to your relatives, close friendships, and even neighbors.We know that, when recovering from infidelity and broken trust, it can be difficult to know how to start mending the fractures that the betrayal has caused within your social circle. That's why, in this conversation, we will be giving you a structure you can follow to start repairing those relationships that have been damaged. This is part three in our four-part series, Recovering from Infidelity and Broken Trust. If you haven't already done so, we encourage you to go back and listen to parts one and two here.As you pursue reconciliation, it doesn't happen all at once. It may take weeks, months, or even years to fully restore all the relationships that have been damaged. However, it's imperative that you start with your spouse, then your children, and then move out to the “outer circles.”In this episode, you'll hear:A blueprint for where reconciliation should beginWhat it means to have a “safe conversation”Advice for the spouse who still thinks about their affair partnerAnd more!As we continue in this series, we hope it is an encouragement and resource for anyone who is navigating reconciliation!No More Perfect Marriages: https://amzn.to/4bLuwZZMy Heart is Broken: https://amzn.to/3YQZA32I Really Messed Up: https://amzn.to/4sJ81LgFind resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/recovering-from-infidelity-282Join us for 6 weeks of our Great Sexpectations focus in our Date Night membership where we dive deep into intimacy. Sign-up today!Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill's Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You're the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Send me a textKatie Kimball is here to talk about what teens actually need from us in this season and why the kitchen might be the best training ground for real life. We got into the two big inner needs teens are juggling: agency (choices and control) and answers (support when they're stuck). Katie also broke down autonomy versus “ancestry,” aka why teens push away, but still need roots, connection, and family stories. We wrapped up with practical ways to motivate your teen to start cooking (without a power struggle) and how this one skill can give you back real time during the week.Mentioned in this episode:

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A lot of parents see the hours, hear the headphones, and picture the worst: strangers, predators, secret chats, and “Is my kid addicted to this?!” So in this episode, I brought in someone who actually knows what's happening behind the scenes at Roblox: Tammy Bhaumik, Vice President of Civility and Partnerships at Roblox. And let me tell you—this conversation will either calm your nervous system… or at least give you a real plan. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE The one thing most parents misunderstand about Roblox… and why it matters for safety A major safety feature rolling out that could change how teens connect with others online The screen-time question parents obsess over—and what actually signals a real problem Why “play with your teen” isn't cheesy advice… it's a shortcut to better conversations and more honesty How to set limits that don't instantly trigger eye rolls, blowups, or shutdowns

In this Teen Tidbit, I dive into why agency is such a powerful (and often overlooked) developmental need for teenagers. Agency is really the combination of having choices and having the skills to act on those choices, which together give teens real options in life. I've intentionally woven this into the Teens Cook Real Food course, sometimes in ways that feel a little chaotic, like cooking multiple versions of the same recipe at once to show how flexible cooking really is. Even when it feels messy or overwhelming at first, teens are more than capable of cutting through the chaos, following a recipe, and making something delicious. More importantly, all those options feed what they crave developmentally: independence and ownership. My encouragement is to look for ways at home to give your teens more agency by pairing choices with real skills, because that combination is what helps them grow into confident, capable adults.Get in on the free parenting series on parenting teens here: https://raisinghealthyfamilies.com/teenvidsCheck out the Teens Cook Real Food eCourse here!Resources We Mention for Teen AgencyTeens Cook Real Food courseFree 3-part video series on parenting teens intentionallyTeen Tidbit 1 on ownershipWhat's it like to be diagnosed with a food allergy as a kid?Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes this week! Apple, Spotify, other options Kitchen Stewardship Raising Healthy Families follow Katie on Instagram or Facebook Subscribe to the newsletter to get weekly updates YouTube shorts channel for HPH Find the Healthy Parenting Handbook at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/podcast Affiliate links used here. Thanks for supporting the Healthy Parenting Handbook!

Is your teen pushing for another piercing? Are you feeling torn between setting limits and respecting their self-expression? In this episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens,” Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan take on a question sent directly from a 16-year-old listener: How many piercings should a teen be allowed to have?  What starts as a question about jewelry opens up a much bigger conversation about boundaries, autonomy, culture, identity, and healthy parent-teen tension. Together, Lisa and Reena explore why piercings can matter so much to teens, why they can feel so unsettling to parents, and how families can move toward compromise without power struggles.

Hi Parents! Pelvic floor health is rarely talked about, but it plays a huge role in overall well-being for both teens and adults. In today's episode, Dr. Sara Reardon, known as The Vagina Whisperer, explains why these conversations are essential and offers practical strategies for parents to approach them confidently. Sara covers topics like periods, sex, pelvic floor strength, and self-care practices for young athletes and active teens. She explains why awareness and education around pelvic health can prevent pain, discomfort, and long-term issues, while also helping teens feel more in tune with their bodies. Parents will leave this episode with actionable tips for introducing these topics, encouraging healthy habits, and fostering open, shame-free communication with their children.

A heartfelt conversation unfolds in the latest episode of the Becoming Bridge Builders podcast, where host Keith Haney welcomes Chuck Barnard, a seasoned educator and author, to discuss his new book, *Confidence with Teens: A New Chapter for the Family*. Chuck draws on over 30 years of experience working with teens, sharing poignant stories of transformation that highlight the struggles families face today in nurturing their children's confidence and resilience. The episode dives deep into the challenges of parenting in an age where teens encounter unprecedented pressures, from social media to academic expectations, often feeling overwhelmed and uncertain. Through Chuck's insights, listeners are encouraged to shift their perspectives on confidence, emphasizing that it is not merely a byproduct of success but rather a mindset that can be cultivated. Chuck emphasizes the importance of storytelling in his book, where fictional characters represent real-life struggles, making the advice relatable and actionable. By weaving narrative with practical wisdom, he aims to fill the gaps left by traditional self-help and parenting guides, offering families a fresh, engaging way to approach the complexities of teenage development. Listeners will glean valuable strategies for fostering open communication within families and learn how to become guides rather than protectors for their children. As the episode unfolds, Chuck shares the metaphor of gardening—illustrating how we must tend to our emotional landscapes and pull out the weeds of negativity that hinder growth. With warmth and humor, he encapsulates the essence of resilience, urging parents to embrace the messiness of life as a part of the learning journey for both themselves and their teens. Ultimately, this episode serves as a beacon of hope, inspiring families to build strong, supportive relationships that empower teens to thrive in an ever-changing world.Takeaways:Chuck Barnard's journey from grief to purpose illustrates how personal experiences can fuel transformative methods for helping teens navigate challenges.The podcast emphasizes the importance of rewiring mindsets rather than relying solely on traditional therapies, showcasing practical techniques for emotional resilience.Parents are encouraged to act as guides rather than protectors, fostering environments where teens can learn from failures and grow confidently.The 10-week transformation process outlined in Chuck's book focuses on building lasting habits that empower teens to control their emotions and cultivate positivity.Links referenced in this episode:coachchuck360.comhttps://a.co/d/5wiWlTOhttps://www.becomingbridgebuilders.org/podcastMentioned in this episode:My friend Dr. Noah St. John calls this 'the invisible brake.' He's giving our listeners a free Revenue Ceiling Audit to help you see what's REALLY holding you back. You'll also get a FREE 30-day membership to Noah Bot, giving you access to Dr. Noah's 30 years of experience to help you reach your next level. But hurry, because there are only 50 available this month. So if you're tired of being stuck...

Do you have a teen whose emotions feel huge and explosive—and nothing you say seems to calm things down?Do you find yourself reacting out of fear, walking on eggshells, or second-guessing whether you're doing any of this “right”? In this episode, Colleen O'Grady talks with therapist and author Katie K. May about what's really happening when teens have big, intense emotions—and why common parent responses (like “You're fine” or “Relax”) often backfire. Katie introduces the concept of “fire feelers,” teens who experience emotions as all-consuming, and explains how self-destructive behaviors can become a desperate attempt to shut down emotional pain. You'll learn why validation is the fastest way to lower emotional intensity, how “radical acceptance” helps parents stop fighting reality and start rebuilding connection, and why parents need a plan to regulate their own nervous system so they can respond instead of react—especially when safety is a concern. Guest Bio: Katie K. May Katie K. May is a licensed therapist, author, speaker, and group practice owner. She founded Creative Healing, a multi-location teen support center in the Philadelphia area, and is the author of You're On Fire, It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors. With lived experience as a teen who turned to self-harm, Katie is one of a select few board-certified DBT clinicians in Pennsylvania. She equips parents and clinicians with practical, trauma-informed tools to decode behavior as survival and create lasting change. Three Takeaways Validation lowers the emotional “fire.” Before problem-solving, teens need to feel seen and understood—validation helps calm the nervous system and opens the door to change. Radical acceptance reduces parental suffering. Accepting “this is where we are” doesn't mean approving—it means stopping the fight with reality so you can respond more effectively. Parents need their own regulation plan. A “stress meter” and a proactive calming strategy help moms manage fear, avoid catastrophic thinking, and stay steady when emotions run high. Learn More at: https://katiekmay.com/ Follow at https://www.instagram.com/katiekmay/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Teens headed to a football game find themselves holed up in an almost abandoned town with an odd wax museum.It's the 300th episode and to cap off Mike G's Wet Dream Month, we are discussing House of Wax. This movie is a loose remake of House of Wax from 1953 and that movie is a remake of Mystery of the Wax Museum from 1933. As a movie that often gets some hate, we've always said it's one of the more underrated horror movies from the 2000s with a fun cast of Chad Michael Murray, Elisha Cuthbert, Jared Padalecki, Paris Hilton, and Robert Ri'chard. While it has some plot holes, it really delivers on everything 2000s horror had to offer and never ceases to entertain us. Watch the movie and catch our review.YouTube | The Final PodcastFacebook | The Final PodcastInstagram | thefinalpodcastMusic Credit: Karl Casey @ White Bat Audiohttps://www.youtube.com/whitebataudioWhat should we review next? Toss us a vibe and send over a recommendation!

A multi-agency operation in Hawaii is bringing eight endangered teenagers to safety after authorities tracked them down during a human trafficking recovery effort on Oahu. A Florida death row inmate is now scheduled to be executed in two weeks after the governor signs the state’s first death warrant of the year in a decades-old Gainesville murder case. Drew Nelson reports.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get in on the free parenting series on parenting teens here: https://raisinghealthyfamilies.com/teenvidsIn this Teen Tidbit episode, I share why passing on ownership of health, time, and responsibility to our teens matters so much, especially through teaching real-life skills like cooking. After hearing from a beta test mom whose 13-year-old confidently made pancakes on his own, I explain that ownership has two parts: practical skills (which are easier to teach) and psychological ownership (which takes time and intentional parenting). The earlier we involve teens and give them real responsibility, the better prepared they are for adulthood, which is exactly what inspired the Teens Cook Real Food course and the free video series this week!Check out the Teens Cook Real Food eCourse here!Resources We Mention for Teaching Teens OwnershipTeens Cook Real Food courseFree 3-part video series on parenting teens intentionallyMy episode on Tiny Tidbits Identify triggers and treat eczema naturallySubscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes this week! Apple, Spotify, other options Kitchen Stewardship Raising Healthy Families follow Katie on Instagram or Facebook Subscribe to the newsletter to get weekly updates YouTube shorts channel for HPH Find the Healthy Parenting Handbook at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/podcast Affiliate links used here. Thanks for supporting the Healthy Parenting Handbook!

With anxiety off the charts as a growing epidemic among children and teens, I want to spend this week offering some strategies you can employ to prevent anxiety in the kids you know and love. Perhaps the most effective strategy is to teach them to preach the Gospel to themselves. Teach them to speak to their hearts, telling their hearts to follow the Gospel rather than allowing their hearts to speak to them. You see, our feelings are not trustworthy. They can lead us astray. They are especially dangerous during times of emotional highs and lows. While the mantra of today's culture is “follow and trust your heart,” the mantra for the Christian should be “follow and trust the Gospel.” I have found the words of this old hymn to be helpful: “God is God, he sees and hears, all our troubles, all our tears. Soul forget not, ‘mid your pains, God o'er all forever reigns. Fear not Death nor Satan's thrusts, God defends who in Him trusts. Soul, remember in your pains, God o'er all forever reigns!”

Happy 2026, Vintage Sand fans! Thank you for taking time away from looking for real estate opportunities in Greenland to join us for Episodes 65 and 66, our first of 2026. Herein, Team Vintage Sand returns one last time to the source of some of our most popular episodes: Danny Peary's hard-to-find 1993 classic "Alternate Oscars". In the past, we have used Peary's model to approach the Best Picture Academy Awards from every decade going back to the 1930's. Collect them all! For this episode, we wrap up this series with the most recent complete decade, the 2010's. First, a caveat: we began this podcast eight years ago, in the spring of 2018, which means that we have already discussed many of today's films in a number of different contexts already. We did our Best of the Teens in early 2020, and recently did our Top 10 of the Century so far, wherein many of the films we're talking about today are contained. Add in that we did episodes on the best of 2018 and 2019, respectively, in those years, and you get the sense that we have already covered this ground several times. But like all good film fans, we're completists, so we conclude this series of episodes with these two, which will focus on 2010 to 2014 and 2015 to 2019 respectively. Mercifully, perhaps, these episodes are shorter than most others we've done, simply because, as mentioned, this is terrain we have already covered several times. The teens were clearly a transitional time for film, especially in Hollywood. The foreign market came to dominate, as did the teen market, which led to a kind of lowest common denominator for American film in these years. Throw in the uncertainties created by the rise of streaming and the changes in where and how people watch film, and you have…well, it's still a little too early to tell what the 2010's will look like to film historians, if there are indeed any film historians left. That being said, it's clear that the decade featured some of the greatest films ever made, ones that will stand the test of time and will continue to be watched long into the future. In many ways, the Mexican New Wavers dominated the decade, winning half of the Best Director Oscars for the whole decade: Del Toro for "Shape of Water", Cuarón for "Gravity" and "Roma", and Iñárritu for "Birdman" and "The Revenant". And of course, the stunning triumph of "Parasite" ended a decade in film that many were ready to write off (and got rid of the bad taste left behind by "Green Book" the previous year). It was also a decade that saw the arrival of some wildly innovative and talented filmmakers, among them Chloe Zhao, Ryan Coogler, Ava Duvernay, Jordan Peele, Greta Gerwig, Steve McQueen, and Damien Chazelle, plus amazing directors who transcended often marginalized genres like Ari Aster, Alex Garland, Robert Eggers and Denis Villeneuve. We also saw some great works from directors who came of age in the 90's and early 00's like David Fincher, the Coens, Spike Lee, Christopher Nolan, Todd Haynes and the Andersons, both Wes and PTA divisions. And for the icing on the cake, we got some brilliant work from the old guard Hollywood New Wavers like Martin Scorsese (who just seemed to pick up steam as the decade went on), Steven Spielberg, (at least with" Lincoln"), Terrence Malick and, most surprisingly, Paul Schrader. So make yourselves comfortable, have yourselves one of those lovely pastries from Mendl's, and join us for our final foray into the world of Best Picture Alternate Oscars!

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Washington Post reporter Tatum Hunter, who interviewed Australian teens about the country's new social media ban. Platforms like Instagram and Reddit are now required to keep under-sixteens off their apps, but it didn't take long for the teens to outsmart these new restrictions. As similar legislation is introduced across the world, no one knows if these bans are actually effective—or if they hurt teens more than they help. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Kate Lindsay. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Washington Post reporter Tatum Hunter, who interviewed Australian teens about the country's new social media ban. Platforms like Instagram and Reddit are now required to keep under-sixteens off their apps, but it didn't take long for the teens to outsmart these new restrictions. As similar legislation is introduced across the world, no one knows if these bans are actually effective—or if they hurt teens more than they help. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Kate Lindsay. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today's episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Washington Post reporter Tatum Hunter, who interviewed Australian teens about the country's new social media ban. Platforms like Instagram and Reddit are now required to keep under-sixteens off their apps, but it didn't take long for the teens to outsmart these new restrictions. As similar legislation is introduced across the world, no one knows if these bans are actually effective—or if they hurt teens more than they help. This podcast is produced by Daisy Rosario, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Kate Lindsay. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie K. May, a licensed therapist and author of the book You're On Fire. It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors. We discussed children/teens who are “fire feelers”, why intense emotions can lead to risky behaviours, how to respond to self-harm urges, how to stay connected or rebuild your connection with your teen, and what parents of younger children can do now to prevent challenges in their teen years.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!We talk about:* 00:05 — What Is a Fire Feeler?* 00:06 — What Emotional Dysregulation Really Means* 00:07 — Fire Feelers Often Have Fire-Feeler Parents- Genetic and Environmental Components* 00:10 — Why Teens Are So Easily Overwhelmed* 00:12 — What Fire Feelers Do When Overwhelmed* 00:20 — How Parents Should Respond to Self-Harm Urges* 00:22 — When to Get Professional Help* 00:24 — Why Depression Looks Different in Teens* 00:25 — Teens Still Need Their Parents* 00:26 — How to Stay Connected to Teens* 00:28 — Judgment vs Validation* 00:31 — How to Rebuild Connection When Things Are Broken- Katie's Hierarchy of Connection* 00:34 — Sensitivity & Impulsivity* 00:35 — What Parents of Younger Kids Can Do Now* 00:37 — Why Control Works When Kids Are Young — and Fails Later* 00:38 — Why “Tough Love” Doesn't WorkResources mentioned in this episode:* Evelyn & Bobbie bras* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Get a free chapter of Katie's book * Katie's website Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HEREPodcast Transcript:Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Katie May. She's a therapist and the author of You're On Fire. It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors. We talked about why some teens are what she calls “fire feelers,” and about how best to support them—and ourselves—when emotional dysregulation is common, troubling, and can be destructive.If you don't have a teen yet, but you have a kiddo with big feelings, have a listen, because Katie also talks about what she wishes parents of younger kids knew so they didn't end up with these sorts of challenges down the road. Let's meet Katie.Sarah: Hi, Katie. Welcome to the podcast.Katie: Hey, Sarah. I'm glad to be here. Excited to talk about teens and parenting today—stuff I'm jazzed to share.Sarah: Me too. Yeah. And I loved your book. I'll ask you about that in a second—or maybe you can tell us who you are and what you do.Katie: Yeah. My name is Katie K. May. I'm a licensed therapist in Pennsylvania, and I lead a team of other therapists. We all specialize in working with high-risk teens and their parents. So every day, we're in the trenches working with teenagers who are suicidal, self-harming, have eating disorders, are not going to school, and we're helping them learn skills while also teaching their parents how to respond effectively—so the whole family is working together as a system in harmony.Sarah: And your book's called You're On Fire. It's Fine. I like it. My book—Katie: Go ahead.Sarah: No, it's a great title.Katie: Yeah. So I came to that title from this idea of biologically sensitive teens—or very sensitive teens—often feeling like they're on fire with their own emotions. And I can dig into any part of that. But the idea is that parents who are well-meaning will many times say things like, “You're fine. It's okay. Go take a nap. Go get a snack.” And it feels like a little squirt gun trying to put out this big fire of emotion. So I thought that title captured those two points initially, to bring people into the framework that I teach.Sarah: I love that. And it's funny—I had a different interpretation of the title, and my interpretation, now that you said what you meant it to be, I can totally see that. But my interpretation was more like, “You're on fire. You can handle these big feelings. It's fine.” Like, this is just—let's get used to feeling the feelings. So I guess it could be read either way.Katie: I like both interpretations, and I think your interpretation speaks to probably how you support and parent. It's nurturing and supportive of the process.Sarah: Yeah. So tell us: what is a fire feeler?Katie: A fire feeler is someone who is biologically sensitive. And what I mean by that is this is a kid who feels things very deeply. Their emotions are big and oftentimes overwhelming for them. And not just that—these are your zero-to-sixty-in-ten-seconds-flat kind of kids. They're reactive, they're easy to trigger, and when they're triggered and they're feeling their emotions in these very big ways, it also takes them a very long time to calm down or get back to their baseline.And this is important because if you think about that slow return to feeling settled or centered again, oftentimes they're being triggered again before they get back to that place of calm. And so they have a nervous system that's constantly in a state of dysregulation—constantly triggered and upset. And it is very hard to access safety or calm or feeling okay because of that.Sarah: And you mentioned emotional dysregulation, and in your book you have a very specific definition of emotional dysregulation. I thought it was a little more helpful and also a little bit more unusual. Can you give us your definition of emotional dysregulation?Katie: So when someone is emotionally dysregulated, when they are triggered, it sets off this chain of emotions for them. Again, we go back to this idea that they feel on fire with their emotions. They're often at this skills-breakdown point where it's difficult to access skills or to calm down. And when you're feeling on fire with your emotions, it makes sense that your brain comes up with escape strategies—things like self-harm, suicidal ideation, substance use—because it's so big and hard to hold that the brain would do anything to make those emotions go away.Sarah: I love that. And you also mentioned that people are biologically predisposed to be fire feelers, so I'm guessing that usually a teen's one or both parents are also fire feelers, which would add a complication to the mix.Katie: I would say so. I often find myself telling parents: some kids are born naturally good at sports. Some kids are born naturally good at music or art. And some kids are born naturally good at emotions—which means they're very attuned to emotional states or nuances in the emotions of others.And when we think about that as a genetic trait or a biological trait, it also makes sense that at least one of their parents carries this trait and is passing it down. And I think when I start to describe fire feelers—who they are and what it looks like—I regularly have at least one parent saying, “Oh, that's me,” or “That's you, honey.” They recognize it.Sarah: Totally. Yeah. So I guess that makes home more complicated too when you've got a fire feeler and a fire feeler trying to find their way together.Katie: It's almost like if you yawn and it's contagious—and the other person catches it. So if you have two people that are both biologically sensitive and they're in the same room, one of them is triggered, one of them has a high state of emotional activation, it's hard in general for another person in the room not to respond to that.So there's something that I teach. It's called the transactional model. So let's say a teenager is boiling over with frustration, and they're exhibiting it. They're bawling their fists. They're snapping back at their parent. The parent then absorbs that emotion and they're snapping back: “Don't talk to me like that,” or, “It's not okay for you to say that,” or “Don't walk away from me.” Which then influences how the teen responds. And then the teen will continue to push or yell back, which then influences how the parent responds.So we're always looking at: How is it that I am influencing how you respond? How is it that you are influencing how I respond? And if everybody feels their emotions in these very big ways, it's going to make that escalation that much bigger or faster because everyone's overwhelmed in their emotions.Sarah: So hard. I'm sure a lot of people listening can relate even when their kids aren't teenagers yet—because that happens with little kids too.Katie: Absolutely. It applies to all ages. I just happen to work with teenagers and parents.Sarah: Speaking of teens, you mentioned in your book that teenagers are more prone to overwhelm. Can you briefly explain why that is? Because I talk about that too. I always say, “The drama is real.”Katie: The drama is real. Thank you for saying that. So the way I look at it: teens are in this developmental state when so much is happening for them. They have unfully formed frontal lobes, which helps to regulate their emotions. They're also dealing with hormonal changes, developmental changes, social stressors, peer stressors. They're in school six hours a day, five days a week. There's so much stress that's placed on our teens.And so if we think about a stress cup holding stress, it's oftentimes just this one little extra drop that makes them lose control or makes them feel overwhelmed in their emotions. And I would say that's probably true for everyone—that we're all holding a lot, and it only takes a little to push us over the edge—but I think it's the brain development that makes it even more challenging.And then I'll add to that the lack of control or agency over their own lives. They don't have a lot of choice about what they do each day or what they have to do or who's telling them what to do. So there's a lot that's outside of their control, and that makes it even harder to control or manage their emotions.Sarah: I'm so glad you work with teenagers. You have such an empathetic view of what it's like to be a teenager, and I think a lot of people—just a little sidebar—teens get such a bad rap in our culture and they're so wonderful. I love teenagers. And also, I would never in a million years choose to go back to those years.Katie: I wouldn't either, but I do feel like I have a strong connection with the teen population. It's interesting—we run parent groups at my center, and that's a question that we'll ask: Do you remember being a teenager?And I think it's hard for a lot of adults to empathize with the teen experience. But being able to do so—being able to put yourself in a teenager's shoes—is going to help you support them so much more. Which is one of the things that I talk about in my book and in my work often: acceptance or validation before change. We always want to be understanding of the experience before we're trying to problem-solve or change that experience.Sarah: I want to ask you about validation a little bit later in our conversation, but before we get to that: what are some common reactions of fire feelers to overwhelm?Katie: Yeah. Some of those common reactions tend to be self-destructive because, again, if we think about this idea that fire feelers are overwhelmed with their emotions—the big, fiery, painful experience for them—it's not a conscious decision, but they would do anything to make that fire go out.So this could be self-harm. This could be thinking about suicide. This could also be lashing out at parents. It could be numbing out in front of the TV or scrolling on social media for hours because it hurts too much to feel and I need to numb myself from that. It could be cutting themselves off from friends because the experience of relationships is so painful.So a fire feeler will have a strong attunement to nuance and facial expressions and tones of voice. And so what might feel okay for one person, for a fire feeler might be interpreted as rejection or might be interpreted as “I did something wrong,” or “There's something wrong with me.” And so the natural response of a fire feeler is to do whatever it takes to protect themselves from being on fire.Sarah: I don't even know if I totally understand it—but how do, and I know a lot of people don't, how does self-harm bring relief to those feelings of overwhelm?Katie: So there's a biological response to it: when you self-harm—when one engages in a self-harm or self-destructive behavior—there is short-term relief. So if you think about emotions rising, rising, rising, what happens is it either blocks the escalation of those emotions, or it makes the emotional state come down quickly. It's body physiology.In addition to that, there are two parts to it. The first part is that it's called negative reinforcement, and that doesn't mean that something negative happens; it means it's the removal of something that's difficult. So that's what I just described. You self-harm, you start thinking about suicide—it becomes an escape. It helps you to feel a sense of relief.The second part of that is positive reinforcement, and that's the social piece. A parent finds out that I self-harmed, and all of a sudden I am given warmth. You're sitting on my bed. We're having a heart-to-heart. You're emailing the teacher to say that I don't have to go to school tomorrow.So there's this one-two stack of: I feel better in the moment because it brings my body physiology back into a state of balance or regulation. And then on top of that, I'm getting my social needs met. And therefore it makes it really hard to break that cycle because there are all of these—this chain reaction of things that happen—that make me go from feeling awful to okay, and sometimes even more supported than before.Sarah: That was such an interesting thing to read about in your book because I thought, “Oh man.” If I were a parent and had a teen that was self-harming, it would be so hard not to do that second part—the positive, what you call the positive reinforcement. So how do you support a teen without making it, “I self-harm and then I get a lot of really lovely warmth and attention”?Katie: Yeah. So it's not about removing the warmth and attention. It's about changing where you put that warmth and attention. Instead of it being directly after self-harm, maybe it's in structured and measured doses throughout the day.So maybe we're having a heart-to-heart in the morning. Maybe we're going out and spending time together or watching TV together just because—and not because I self-harmed.The other thing that I like to make sure that parents are familiar with and practiced with is how they respond when a teen shares an urge to self-harm or an urge for suicide. Because the way that it typically plays out—at least the first time a parent finds out about urges or that a behavior has happened—they're crushed. Of course. Their face falls. They're hurt. It hurts them to see that their child is hurting. They might cry. They might feel really anxious or helpless.But a teen that's witnessing that is interpreting that as, “My parent can't handle this information, and therefore I can't go to them with this information again.”And so the practice for parents is minding your tone—being calm—minding your face, being more like, “Thank you for trusting me,” than, “I'm going to fall apart right now,” and minding your pace—staying calm and regulated and not rushing forward or feeling frantic.And when we do this, what we communicate to our teens is: “I can handle this information. Therefore, in the future, you can come to me when you're having an urge and we can handle it together, rather than you taking care of it by acting on it—and then me finding out afterwards.”So that's how we change the cycle: structured and measured warmth, consistent support, ongoing—not just after an event—and also being able to handle the information, even if you're falling apart inside, because that is completely valid. But showing to your teen: “You're not going to freak me out. I'm not going to fall apart if you tell me the hard stuff. I'm here for you. Come to me and we'll handle it together.”Sarah: And find your own support elsewhere.Katie: One hundred percent. Yeah. Parents—I think any parent is going to need support, whether that's their village, their people, their partner, their friend, a therapist. Parenting alone is tough stuff, and I wouldn't recommend it.Sarah: And I should have asked you this earlier in the interview, but when—are there any signs? A parent finds out your kid is self-harming or telling you they have the urges—is it straightaway “get help,” or are there early stages you can handle it yourself as a parent? When is this 911 getting help, and when is it, “Okay, we're going to figure this out”?Katie: It's somewhere in the middle of “911” and “we're going to figure this out.” The stance would be: if your teen has already self-harmed, they need to be in therapy. It's beyond the point of handling it on your own.When you're noticing—it's such a tough line because on one hand there are these typical teen behaviors: “I'm going to spend more time in my room.” Teens are moodier. They're more irritable. They want less to do with parents. They're more private. They don't want to talk to parents. And so I don't want there to be an overreaction to typical teen behavior.But if we're starting to see a duration, intensity, and frequency of that behavior that's beyond typical—which, again, is going to look different depending on the child—my measure is usually: if my teen for two weeks is more tearful, more self-critical, more hopeless, not enjoying or engaging in activities that they used to—these are signs of depression. And that would be the point when I would want to engage more professional help to support in the process, because that's where we're going to start being proactive and head off escalation of crisis.What happens is—and especially for teenagers—the symptoms of depression can lead to self-harm because there's an overwhelm of that emotion. There's a sense of hopelessness. Suicidal thoughts are one of the descriptors of the diagnosis of depression. We don't want it to get to that point. We want to put help in place sooner.Sarah: That makes sense. I read something the other day that in teenagers depression can look different than adults and sometimes it looks like irritability.Katie: It really depends on the person. So I always go back to—we've all heard “nature and nurture,” but I think of it as biology and environment. Same idea, different words. But for some people, their environment can feel really safe to be vulnerable. It can feel really natural to express emotions, to cry, to be in that more vulnerable state. And for others, it doesn't.Or for others, they've learned that being vulnerable isn't safe for them. It isn't manly enough for them. It really depends on the culture and environment. And so it can come across as irritability. It can come across as anger—different dispositions as to whether someone internalizes their emotions or externalizes them or sends them outward to others.Sarah: That makes sense. I think it's good for parents to have an eye on things that maybe look different than they expect, just to keep track.Katie: Yeah. And parents and teens don't always express emotions the same way. I'm a very expressive and emotional person. I'm a therapist. I've also spent my whole life figuring out how to express my emotions. And I would say that my child is probably the opposite of that and doesn't like being vulnerable in front of other people. So what you think makes sense may not make sense to the brain of another person.Sarah: You were talking before about warm connection with parents, and you mentioned that it is normal for teens to want to spend more time by themselves or with peers. But one thing I wonder—and I wonder if you come across this too—parents often think that means, “My kid doesn't want to spend time with me anymore,” or, “My kid doesn't need me.” And my experience with my kids as teenagers was that wasn't true at all—that even as they were moving away and differentiating, they still did like to spend time with their parents, and they still did like to do stuff with us and be close to us. What are some ways that you find are helpful ways for parents to connect? And how do you assure them that, “Yeah, you still are important”?Katie: Yeah. As a child is growing and gaining more independence, it is such a natural experience for parents to feel grief and loss in that process because the relationship is changing. Teens do need parents less. Teens are more independent. They don't want as much time spent with parents.And so it's important, one, to recognize that as a developmental milestone, and two, to recognize that means the way that you interact and respond to your teen changes as well. And so you're not expecting the same attention or response from them as you did before.But this is a grief process because you're grieving the relationship as it used to be. You're grieving your teen as they used to be. But you're also—and this is the part we don't think about—grieving yourself as you used to be because you have to become a new version of yourself to show up for your teen in a new way.And so all of that is to say that it requires a lot of flexibility, openness to evolving, willingness to change how you see, interact, and speak with your teen. And so in thinking about that, it's helpful to think about: What is it that my teen needs from me now?They might not need me to cut up their food or call their teacher for them or set up their playdate for them. They might need me to drive them somewhere and listen to the music that they like and not be the one leading the conversation. They might need me to sit on the couch with them while they watch The Office and notice the parts they laugh at and just be there with them.And both of those examples really nicely illustrate that your teens need less from you, but they don't not need you. They need you to be more of a partner and less of a doing-for.Sarah: When my husband and I both had pretty stable teenage years, we also had parents who were working a lot and not home when we were home. And I'm not saying this to make anyone feel guilty who isn't home after school, but we really tried to structure our lives so that somebody would be home after school even when the kids were teenagers. Because our joke was: even if it's just somebody who's there that they can ignore.Katie: It's so true. But they know that you're there.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. So you talked a little bit about validation before. Can you talk a little bit about validation and its opposite—judgment—maybe starting with judgment: what to avoid when our teens are having big feelings? I mentioned before that I often say the drama is real. I think that's where some of the judgment comes in with parents sometimes. Like, “Oh, come on, you can't be that upset that the jeans you were hoping to wear are still wet in the washing machine.” Where do parents make mistakes in terms of that judgment?Katie: For me, I see judgments as the fuel to the emotional fire. So when we are seeing our teen act in certain ways, judgments are our interpretation of their experience. One of those examples might be: a teen is having a hard time getting up and going to school because they're really depressed, and they've been white-knuckling every single day, and today is just the day that they can't. They can't do it.And so judgments from a parent might look like, “Why can't you just go? Everyone else is going. Just get up. Here's the list of coping skills that your therapist gave us. Use your coping skills.”So it's this judgment that they can, and they're choosing not to.Other judgments that I hear regularly are: “They're manipulative. They're doing this on purpose to upset me. They're attention-seeking.”Oftentimes our judgments are because if we weren't judging and casting blame, we would be having to hold a really frustrating or painful reality. So if I'm not judging my teen and saying, “Why can't you just get up and go to school? Just use your coping skills. It's not this bad,” then what I'd be having to hold is: my teen is really struggling right now. My teen—the person that I love the most in the world—is thinking about wanting to die right now. And that's awful for me.And so judgments are a way of pulling ourselves out of this emotional pain, but also shifting that blame to the other person. And instead of being able to hold their experience.And if we're not judging, we're able to first just notice and name and sit with the experience, which is kind of what I described: “My teen is in a lot of pain right now. They're struggling to get out of bed and even function in their day, and that's really hard.” And when I can name that, I can feel that for myself, and it feels really hard and painful and difficult.And then the outward version of that is validating them: being able to say, “I see how hard you're struggling right now. I see the pain on your face. I hear the lack of energy. This is really hard for you right now.”So we can name the experience for ourselves with our notice-and-name, and then we can validate the experience for our teen by noticing and naming their experience.And when we do this, it does often make the emotion feel more painful because we're naming it. I think a common experience of that is: if you've ever been struggling and then someone in your life, in passing, says, “What's wrong? You look like you're going to cry right now,” and then all of a sudden the tears come because someone has named the experience. The experience was there all along, but having someone see it—having someone tell you, “This is real, this makes sense,” or “I notice what you're going through”—it makes it come to the surface.It's actually a helpful experience, because if we don't name what's happening, we're judging it, we're stifling it, we're ignoring it. And that's like holding a beach ball under water. Eventually it's going to pop out, but we can't control what happens when it does. Someone's going to get hit in the face.So we want to take ownership, we want to validate, we want to notice and name what we're experiencing, and these are the ways that we move toward acceptance of what is, so we have an ability to move toward problem-solving.Sarah: Where would somebody start who's listening to this and hearing all of the examples that you're giving of communication—if they're not even at a point where their teen is communicating with them? Like, things have gotten so fraught and feel so broken. Where would somebody start with that?Katie: It's what I call my hierarchy of connection. Oftentimes there is this big rift in the relationship because it's not just one time that something has happened—it's years or multiple experiences that have gotten them to this point, of this rift in the relationship.So the hierarchy of connection is our blueprint and our path back to connection. It starts with parent and teen being in the same room together—not interacting, but also not criticizing, not having this tension or conflict happening.The example I give often is: I'm in the kitchen putting groceries away. Teen is sitting on the couch scrolling social media or watching YouTube. But I'm not saying, “Hey, did you do your homework? Did you take your medicine? Did you do this?” I'm just existing and they're just existing. And we need to practice being in the same space together without that criticism or nagging happening.When that can happen, we can move into shared activities. This would be watching a movie together, watching TV together, driving somewhere, listening to music. Again: no tension, no conflict, no criticizing. Doing the same thing together without any of those things happening.And this could take a very long time. It's not one, two, three. It could be six months of doing the same thing at the same time before you're moving on.The final step is moving back to interactive activities. This could be something like playing a board game and talking to each other, having an actual conversation at the dinner table, or a deeper conversation about something that's a bigger experience. It could be the ability to do this within the context of therapy, so you're able to have some of those scarier conversations.But there needs to be a level of trust, and an ability not to act on urges to criticize or lead the conversation to nag or check off the to-dos. You have to be able to hold the space—to be in the space with your teen—before that can happen.Sarah: One thing that you mentioned in the book is that there's a link between sensitivity and impulsivity. Can you talk about that? I found that really interesting. Why is that?Katie: When someone is more biologically sensitive—again, there's this urge to make those emotions go away. And so when you are more overwhelmed with emotions, the idea of impulsivity makes more sense, because the desire and need for short-term relief is higher than it may be in others.And so when my emotions are really big, I also have really big urges to make those emotions go away, and it's harder for me to hold these big emotions.Sarah: That was really helpful. If you could have the parents and teens that you work with currently—if you could have had them ten years ago, because a lot of people who listen to the podcast have younger kids and they don't have teenagers—what would you like them to be practicing or working on? Is there anything preventive that you've noticed, that if people had an awareness earlier on, when their kids were younger, they might not get to this point with teenagers?Katie: Absolutely. What I find myself saying often is: parents go first. And what I mean by that is that it is a parent's job to learn emotion regulation skills, to learn how to notice and name emotions, to learn how to validate—essentially to model all of the ways that we handle really big emotions.So that when our teen is having this experience—or our child growing into our teen is having this experience—we have the skills to manage our own emotions and we know how to respond to their emotions, because that validation helps the emotion go down more quickly.When I'm working with younger children—and I don't anymore—but that is part of the process: we're working with parents first for many weeks to give them the skills before we even start working with the child.So that would be my biggest piece of advice for parents of younger children: practice the skills, know how to manage your own emotions, have your own support.And I will add to that: if you had the experience of being parented in a way that was painful for you as a child, address those issues, because they're going to show up in the teen years. In the opposite way, you're going to feel like it's karma, but it's really just generational patterns continuing—and you want to be able to change those patterns and rewrite stories that were painful for you so they don't repeat with your own teen.Sarah: I love that. It's interesting because I think when kids are little, fire feelers don't develop as teenagers, right? Like a fire feeler is a fire feeler whether they're five or whether they're fifteen. But a five-year-old—you can put them in their room and hold the door shut. Not that I'm advocating that. You can pick them up and move them places. I think parents probably—unless they're more aware of emotions and being, in my brand, a peaceful parent—they probably rely on things that then, as their kids get older, just don't work. But they maybe have missed opportunities to practice all the things that are effective as teenagers because they were relying more on external control when their kids were younger.Katie: I one hundred percent agree. I think coercive control is easier to implement when your child is younger. But practicing validation, direct communication, emotion regulation is going to pave the way for more success as a teen.And what I would say is: I think most parents recognize, when I talk about this idea of fire feelers, when they have a three-year-old. I have a sister who has two toddler girls, and she'll say, “I think they're fire feelers,” and they are.And so you know your kid. You know their disposition. You know when they're more sensitive or they're a deep feeler. And so knowing that now can help you pave the way for what's to come.Sarah: Can you speak briefly on—when I was a teenager in the eighties, there was a “tough love” approach for teens who were having a hard time: drugs and alcohol, not going to school. And the approach was like: crack down. Kick them out if they don't follow your rules. I'm pretty sure that's not what you would advocate for.And I do think there has been a shift because people recognize that doesn't work. So maybe if you could speak to that for a few minutes—why getting more strict and more controlling with a teenager who's having a hard time isn't going to be an effective strategy.Katie: I have two thoughts on that: one is about the teen, and one is about the relationship.So when we think about a teenager who's struggling, who has these big emotions, if the message in the family is, “You're too sensitive. Just suck it up. Just get it together. Why can't you do this like your siblings can?”—what happens over time is they internalize that message as, “There must be something wrong with me, that everyone else around me can do this and I can't.”And so they begin to lose trust in their own emotional experience, in their own emotion meter. And that is one of the contributors to self-harm behaviors, because then when an emotion shows up for them, their brain thinks, “Well, this must be wrong.” Everyone keeps telling me that my emotional state is the wrong thing or it's too intense, so let's make that go away quickly so that I can continue to function in my life.What I'll say is: at my center, we see hundreds of kids every week—teens and families. A lot of them are these high-achieving, perfectionistic, private-school kids, and they're self-harming and they're suicidal. And one of the reasons is that that's a strategy that keeps them going in this life that is expected of them.So I want to be really intentional about broadening the picture that we may have of the type of teen who engages in self-harm.The other side of that—the relational piece—is that when the parent is consistently giving this message of, “Just get it together. Suck it up and keep going,” it creates a rift in the relationship. The parent is no longer a safe person to come to when a teen is struggling, because they're not going to get what they need.And so if it's important for a parent to have a strong relationship with a teen—and I think that is for most parents—we need to learn the strategies that welcome open communication, that are able to hold that struggle, so that teens come to us with the little stuff and the big stuff.And I'll add to that: so that teens want to stay connected to us after they leave home.Sarah: Yeah, that makes so much sense. Before I let you go, there's a question I ask all my guests, which is: if you could go back in time to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Katie: To my younger parent self? I think what I would say is that it doesn't have to be perfect. And that's something that I learned through my own education and the theory of good-enough parenting: that you only really need to get it right twenty percent of the time, and the rest of the time it's how you repair, how you respond, and how you keep moving forward in the most loving and compassionate way for both you and your child. So that would help take the pressure off—both for younger me and also for probably a lot of other parents out there—that you don't have to get it right all the time. You just have to want to keep going and want to keep trying to get it right.Sarah: Nice. Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Katie: Yeah. To grab a free chapter of my book, You're On Fire. It's Fine, you can go to youreonfireitsfine.com. And for a therapist or media listening, katiekmay.com has all of my other projects and my counseling center and endeavors there.Sarah: Wonderful. Thank you so much, Katie.Katie: Thank you This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Three Big Conversations: Nostalgia for 2016 hits social media. - 8:54 Some hopeful, if complicated, mental health statistics about college students. - 24:40 Teens would rather send a voice note than make a phone call. - 38:08 Slang of the Week - Ragebait - 1:48 In Other News: - 54:22 The Indiana Hoosiers won an electrifying College Football Playoff National Championship on Monday, punctuated by an iconic, fourth-down touchdown run from Heisman winner Fernando Mendoza. BookTok's beloved People We Meet on Vacation, an Emily Henry book-to-movie adaptation, has debuted at No.1 on the Netflix film chart with 17.2m views. A new trend on TikTok involves impersonating owls. "Bringing random items to school" is a TikTok trend where kids pull increasingly unhinged objects out of their backpacks purely for laughs. The tremendous success of a stationery store in Chicago is being hailed as indicative of the "return to analog" trend, as the popularity of journals, calligraphy, and sending snail mail letters surges. Become a monthly donor today, join the Table. Check out the podcast now on our YouTube Channel! Get your question on Ask Axis! Send in your questions to ask@axis.org. For more Axis resources, go to axis.org.

Our teens don't need fixing—they need our connection. Addison and Juli sit down with their teens for an honest, eye-opening conversation about what parents often miss—social media pressure, identity struggles, and the deep need for real connection. Their kids, Asher and Sophia, share a powerful truth: teens aren't broken, they're being built. Watch now for practical guidance for choosing presence over fixing, listening over lecturing, and humble leadership over control—so you can create the safe, understanding home your teenager craves.____________________________FREE Show Notes Here: https://page.church.tech/291b4172____________________________Order Addison's New "Words with God Prayer Journal: 40 Days of Getting Real with God" Here: https://a.co/d/3H74mTu____________________________Order premium meat now through Good Ranchers—use code "BEVERE" at checkout: https://go.goodranchers.com/athome____________________________Sign up for weekly Prayer Guides here: https://rediscoverprayer.com/resources/____________________________To explore the other podcast shows that are part of the Messenger Network, click here: https://messengerinternational.org/podcasts____________________________To help you grow as a follower of Christ, we invite you to download our everyday discipleship app, MessengerX. You can get it here: https://messengerx.com/

News flash: other people can't read your mind! Want to test yourself on how well you can recognize fallacies in real life? Take the Meme Fallacy Quiz! www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/quiz Learn more about Crazy Thinkers membership where you can practice critical thinking using real-life memes, articles & headlines: www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/crazy Here's how you can purchase the Logical Fallacies ebook: https://www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/offers/z6xbAcB2 Send me any questions, comments or even the fallacies you're seeing around you! think@filteritthroughabraincell.com Or, tag me on Instagram: @filteritthroughabraincell Sign up on my email list at: www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/contact Learn more about Classical Conversations: www.classicalconversations.com/filterit Thank you to our sponsor, CTC Math! Website: https://www.ctcmath.com/?tr_id=brain Homeschool page: https://www.ctcmath.com/how-it-works/home-school?tr_id=brain Free trail: https://www.ctcmath.com/trial?tr_id=brain Special offer! Get 1/2-off discounts plus bonus 6-months free! Critical Thinking for Teens Logical Fallacies for Teens Cognitive Biases for Teens Homeschool Logic Critical thinking for Middle schoolers

Teens start to sail away. One minute they're cuddly, the next they're distant, and the easy check-ins are gone. Now the challenge is unlocking that connection. Sometimes it's a car ride, sometimes it's shoveling snow together. It's not about rules or routines anymore, it's about us showing up and connecting on a deeper level. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go to www.LearningLeader.com for more This is brought to you by Insight Global. If you need to hire one person, hire a team of people, or transform your business through Talent or Technical Services, Insight Global's team of 30,000 people around the world has the hustle and grit to deliver. www.InsightGlobal.com/LearningLeader Jimmy Wales is the founder of Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. After his daughter Kira's birth faced medical challenges and he couldn't find reliable information online, Jimmy launched Wikipedia in January 2001. In this conversation, Jimmy shares why extending trust before it's earned creates better outcomes, how to deal with bad actors, and the seven rules for building things that last. Notes: Key Learnings (in Jimmy's words) Wikipedia launched 20 days after my daughter was born. When Kira was born, I realized that when you go on the internet, and you've got a question like, "what is this condition my daughter has?"  It just wasn't there. There were either random blogs or academic journal articles that were way above my head. Kira was born on December 26th, and I opened Wikipedia on January 15th.  Nupedia failed because of the seven-stage review process. Before Wikipedia, we worked on Nupedia. We recruited academics to write articles. You had to send in your CV showing you were qualified before you could write anything. We had very slow progress. I was on the verge of giving up. This top-down approach with a seven-stage review process before you publish anything that's no fun, and nobody's doing it. We let anyone edit and figured we'd add structure later. We thought we'd have to figure out who the editor-in-chief of the chemistry section is. You're gonna have to have some kind of authority and hierarchy. But I thought, let's just not have too much structure for as long as possible.  "It's fun. You could be the first person to create a page." There was a point in time when you could write, "Paris is the capital of France". That's amazing. It's not much of an encyclopedia article, but it was fun. It's like, oh, we can just start documenting whatever we know. People started just doing all kinds of stuff. The magic is when you come back and see others improving your work. You could just write a few facts down and hit save, and it's not very good yet. But you'd go back a few days later and see somebody dug in, and they added more information. That element has always been really important. Is it fun? Do you enjoy the activity? Do you meet interesting people? You spend one afternoon, you add a few facts, and then you think, you know what? The world's just ever so slightly better. Trust is conditional, not naive. Out of every thousand people, probably a small handful are gonna be really annoying. But it's really rare to have somebody who's actually malicious. The idea of assuming good faith, as we call it in Wikipedia, is extending trust first before it's been earned. It's conditional. You extend that friendly hand of trust. And if the person proves themselves to be super problematic, then you have to deal with it. To get trust, give trust.  Most people are decent. It also creates an environment where trustworthy behavior is rewarded. As a boss, wouldn't it be fantastic if you said, I'm going to go off and do this other thing, but I just trust my people are so good, they're gonna crack on with the work? Sometimes they'll make a call I would've made differently. That's okay. They're smart. Sometimes they're going to get it better than I did. "You haven't earned my trust." When somebody looks you dead in the eye and says, "You haven't earned my trust," that's destruction. It's the opposite of building a culture where people can thrive.  Extending trust works in parenting, too. When teenagers say, "Well, it doesn't matter what I do, they're going to think the worst anyway, so I might as well do the bad thing." That's really unfortunate. As opposed to saying to your teenager, "Yeah, you want to go out and stay a little later than before. I want you to do that. I trust you, but you gotta do it the right way." You give that trust and believe me, they come home right on time because this is my chance to actually nail this. Give your children an opportunity to live up to building trust.  When trust is broken, you can rebuild it faster than you think. Frances Fry is a Harvard professor who had a huge job at Uber when they had an enormous crisis of trust. People say once you've broken trust, that's it, you can never get it back. But is it really true? No, it's actually not true. She thinks companies can rebuild trust faster than you think. A teenager who's broken a rule can rebuild trust pretty quickly. And our job is to let them rebuild that trust.  The eighth rule is walk the walk. The rules of trust aren't just a lot of good words. You actually have to walk the walk. If you say "I screwed up" and you own that, but then you go back to being the same as you were before, you're not going to rebuild trust. But if you walk the walk, people will see that.  Airbnb rebuilt trust by walking the walk. Really early in Airbnb's history, someone rented out their apartment and came home and it was absolutely trashed. Airbnb handled it very badly. They were stonewalling. In this era, that's often the wrong advice. Not saying anything just means it goes viral. So they ripped off the band-aid. They said, Look, we screwed this up. They started requiring ID's for people renting apartments out, ID's from customers, and substantial insurance for owners. They walked the walk. Transparency doesn't mean sharing everything; it means sharing the process. If people can see your workings, they can see what you're doing and how it works, it gives them assurance in the process. It's about judgment calls. What would be helpful for us to share so people can trust the whole process?  If you think people are fundamentally rotten, you can't work with them. It's very easy when we look at the state of the world to be downtrodden, cynical, and don't trust anybody. If you think people on the other side of you politically or people at your workplace are fundamentally just rotten people, then you're going to have a hard time listening to them. You're going to have a hard time understanding where they're coming from. You're not going to do the right things that make sense to people. Which hurts all of society.  When you've been beaten up by life, change the channel. If you work somewhere where your boss doesn't trust you and your coworkers are all backstabbing freaks, it's time to change the channel. Every night, you should be trying to find a better position. Your number one criteria in looking for that next position is finding somebody who you think is a proper person to be your manager. Think of it as you're interviewing the company just as much as they're interviewing you. When you give trust, you attract trustworthy people. When you become known as a person who gives trust before it's earned, you magically attract trustworthy people. It's kind of cool how it works. Will you get burned every once in a while? Maybe. But you attract the type of people that you wanna be around. Curiosity is the ultimate love language. Get out there in the world and be curious. Asking people questions and being genuinely curious about their stories and learning about them and asking follow-up questions is a great way to show love and to connect with people. When you find yourself in a curiosity conversation where everyone's asking and learning, and they're head nodding and into it, there's nothing better. That's human nature connecting. We are born to connect and collaborate with others. It's quite easy and natural for people to fit into whatever culture is around them. We naturally like to work together to build something good. We're social, and we like to be social. We collaborate to build experiences together. A party with only yourself is not a party. Do what you love, even if it takes time to get there. One of the things that I think is really important is do what you love, do something that you really care about. Oftentimes for young people, there's this struggle between here's the thing that I really want to be doing, and here's the thing that's going to make me some money. Work really hard to find a way to put those together.  Reflection Questions Jimmy says extending trust before it's earned creates better outcomes, but it requires not being naive when someone proves untrustworthy. Think of a situation where you're withholding trust. Is it because of actual evidence that this person is untrustworthy, or are you bringing baggage from past experiences with different people? What would it look like to extend conditional trust in this situation? If you're in a leadership position, honestly assess: are there team members who feel you don't trust? What specific actions could you take this week to demonstrate trust before they've "earned" it in the traditional sense? More Learning #605 - Seth Godin: The Power of Remarkable Ideas #598 - Sam Parr: Bold, Fast, Fun (Founder of The Hustle) #645 - Ryan Petersen: Take Action - From Crisis to Solution Audio Pod Timestamps 02:07 Jimmy Wales' Early Fascination with Encyclopedias 04:28 The Birth of Wikipedia 07:35 The Trust Factor in Wikipedia 12:04 Managing Bad Actors on Wikipedia 15:28 Personal Reflections on Trust 27:05 Setting Reasonable Boundaries for Teens 28:18 Rebuilding Trust After It's Broken 32:37 The Importance of Transparency in Leadership 36:50 The Power of Positive Purpose 39:06 Practical Advice for the Trust-Broken 43:01 Connecting and Collaborating with Others 45:17 Career Advice for Young Professionals 49:41 EOPC