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IMAGE DESCRIPTION Oxyrhynchus Papyrus fragment with text of John 6:8-12. 3rd century. Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:POxy1596-III.jpg LINKS Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures"): https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels: https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1 Miracles of Jesus reference list: https://sunnyhillschurch.com/3301/the-37-miracles-of-jesus-in-chronological-order/ Venetian folk tale of Saint Peter's mom: https://iamnotmakingthisup.net/5663/saint-peters-mom-bless-her-heart/ Judas Boo: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/boo-6377/ Joke Rimshot: https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/rimshot-joke-funny-80325/ TRANSCRIPT Welcome to the Popeular History Podcast: History through Pope Colored Glasses. My name is Gregg and this is episode 0.21h: Sayings of the Savior Part VIII: The Last Gospel All of these aught episodes are made to let us build our Pope-colored glasses so we can use the same lenses when we look at history together. If you're lost, start at the beginning! Today we continue our Sayings of the Savior series with a look at the Gospel according to John, covering everything Jesus said there that we haven't yet discussed–yes, still leaving off things like the miracles we did in 0.20 and the parables and other sayings we did in earlier Sayings of the Savior installments--once again leaving you in suspense right before the concluding few chapters discussing Jesus' death and such, which we'll cover as we finish the remaining mysteries of the rosary in future episodes of our Catholic Worldbuilding series. Before we get into it, a quick reminder that the Gospel of John is the odd one out of the four canonical gospels, that is, the Gospels that made it into the Bible. There are other Gospels, but not others that the Catholic Church holds as part of Scripture, that is, the inspired word of God. As you likely remember very well from the other episodes unless you're starting here for some reason, and if you're starting here because you don't know where to find the others you can check out the Catholic Worldbuilding section of my website, Popeularhistory.com, in any case, as you probably do recall the other three Gospels, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, are all known as synoptic gospels, that is, Gospels that should be read together, and clearly have a close relationship, with most of all of them being found in the rest of them. Luke Is the most unique, something like 35% of its material being standalone, much of that parables, some of that is Luke's memorable infancy narrative, while the approximately 20% of Matthew that's only in Matthew is a hodgepodge including Matthew's take on Jesus' infancy, and the 3ish % of material that's unique to Mark is… well Mark is the shortest Gospel so 3% of it isn't much but even so we haven't hit the most memorable bit of that small slice of the synoptics. We'll get there, but of course not yet because like I said today is about John. And I don't mean John Mark, the guy who wrote the Gospel of Mark, which really should be called John because you know, John is his actual first name, Mark's just a second part of it, anyways, uh yes so guy named John wrote half the gospels, don't worry about it, it's fine, one's the Gospel of Mark, one's the Gospel of John. I'm sure that's not confusing anything. Anyways, ignore the fact that I haven't said much about John yet today. I needed to give the Synoptics a bit of a collective farewell before we moved on and it seemed like a bit of statistics might be just the thing to get you all ready for me to change the topic. Now, though John's Gospel (not John Mark's Gospel) isn't one of the synoptics, there are a few parallel areas I'll flag as we go, so don't think we're leaving the other Gospels behind entirely. Even if we tried, they're a big part of looking at history through Pope Colored glasses overall, which, in case you've forgotten, is the actual main plan for this podcast. Allegedly these worldbuilding episodes are just the background materials for that. Overall, John stands out as the most theologically sophisticated of the Gospels, which has generally led scholars to argue it's the last-written of the bunch, a stance that actually aligns with tradition that credits the Gospel of John to, well, John, the longest-lived of the Twelve Apostles. Scholars, of course, aren't so sure about that specific attribution, as we've mentioned here and there they often like to think of a school of multiple authors writing the texts attributed to John, not just the Gospel but his three letters and the Book of Revelation. In any event, that sophisticated theology is on full display right from the beginning of the text, and the opening verses of John, often called the Prologue, are extremely well known and influential within Christianity. Which I know is a given for pretty much every section of the Gospel texts, but I mean like even more so than the average Gospel text. As in, these verses used to be read as an epilogue to nearly every Mass, something that gave it the nickname of “The Last Gospel”. Let's take it in: JOHN 1:1-14 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 6 There was a man sent from God whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. 9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God. 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” GREGG First, I'll simply note that it would have been a straightforward enough matter for me to start the podcast here, rather than back in Genesis. In fact, the basics of Christian theology, the trinity I discussed in that first episode before launching into Genesis' actual narrative, all that is more at home in a discussion of these verses than in that creation story, because here is what makes Christian history: the Incarnation. The Word made Flesh. This word and flesh and light and darkness business is also a pretty natural tie-in to the oldest wrong theology in the history of Christianity, and it's fair enough that various commentators have seen hintings at gnosticism in the text of John's gospel. In fact, some have theorized that the Gospel of John was written as a refutation of Gnosticism, but of course I'm treating this as a start-from-scratch beginner friendly kit, so it wouldn't be right of me to just keep saying “gnosticism”, “gnosticism” without spelling out what that means. Oh, and speaking of spelling, it starts with a silent “G”, check out the transcript I'm now consistently creating for the show notes in the episode description if you'd like the full spelling. Gnosticism, in a nutshell, is the idea that the physical world is evil, created by a flawed God. To the gnostics, this evil, broken world is something to be rejected, to escape from. For many of the gnostics, Jesus is the servant of the higher God, and is our ticket out of the icky yucky material, fleshy world. The knowledge of the evil of the world and how to escape from it is the secret that gives gnosticism its name, “gnosis” being Greek for “knowledge”. Gnosticism had a habit of piggybacking off Judaism and Christianity, with Gnostics basically forming secret clubs within the already generally secret Christian communities. We'll talk plenty more about Gnosticism as we go, as it was a sort of theological cancer within the Church for many years, but there's your official high-level overview. Getting back to John 1, the first verse is probably the most famous: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” The notion that Jesus has been around since the beginning, as outlined in this chapter, is ultimately what cemented the victory of Catholic theology over Arianism, another wrong belief found among some Christians, aka a heresy, this one teaching that Jesus is not God Himself but is simply a creature-an important creature sure but in the end still one of God's creatures and so not as exalted as God Himself. Like gnosticism, the The Arian refrain of “there was a time when he was not” cannot be be squared with John 1, hence the fundamental importance of The Last Gospel to Nicene Christianity. And yes, we'll talk about what “Nicene” Christianity is in the future, specifically in 0.24. But we'll need to get past the first verse of John to get there. The second verse, “He was with God in the beginning” really solidifies the anti-Arian interpretation, but believe it or not I'm actually not going to repeat the rest of the prologue, because ultimately this section, while very, very, important to Christian history, isn't one of the sayings of the Savior we're focusing on in this series. So, when does Jesus show up? Well, after a focus on John the Baptist, Jesus appears in verse 36, and speaks in verse 38: JOHN 1 38 Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?” They said, “Rabbi” (which means “Teacher”), “where are you staying?” 39 “Come,” he replied, “and you will see.” GREGG This particular calling is a favorite of the tv series The Chosen, which I know I've mentioned before but am not expecting to mention again, as we're heading out of their wheelhouse, at last as far as they've gotten up to this point. But it's worth checking out if you've got the time, and let's be honest, if you're listening to this, you probably do. What's next? Andrew and Simon Peter! JOHN 1 40 Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. 41 The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, “We have found the Messiah” (that is, the Christ). 42 And he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas” (which, when translated, is Peter ). GREGG This section allows us to introduce the split between Catholicism and Orthodoxy, though first off, there's been many splits and resolutions in that relationship over the years, not just the one in 1054, and second, while there's not currently unity there's not as fundamental a split as there has been previously since the mutual excommunications were lifted sixty years ago. Oh, and we've also made some reference to the difference already, when we were talking about the differences in biblical canons back in 0.7. Anyways, that's all years in the future. For now, just know that the tie-in is that eventually St Andrew would be credited with founding the Church in what wouId become Constantinople, the chief see of Orthodoxy, while St Peter would go down as the first Bishop of Rome, the beating heart of Catholicism. Having Saint Andrew as the first-called of the two--and the first-called Apostle overall–is therefore a point of pride for Orthodoxy, and one that I daresay as I look through these pope-colored glasses is a sorely needed one given Peter's elevation on pretty much every count afterwards. Note that he's already picked up his Peter slash Rocky nickname, much earlier in John than in the other Gospels, for example in Matthew that didn't happen until Chapter 16. Before we move on, I want you to know that I tried to look into Peter and Andrew's mother, considering we featured Peter's mother-in-law already and therefore it would seem to be quite the oversight to skip his actual mother, especially since she was apparently also the mother of Saint Andrew. Plus, it happens to be Mother's day when I'm writing this. But it turns out there's surprisingly little tradition on Peter's mother. Google seems to think her name is Joanna, but she's definitely not the better-known Saint Joanna mentioned at a few points in the Gospels. In fact, she's not a saint at all, according to the one story I did find about her, from, and this is the actual name: iamnotmakingthisup.net. Which isn't exactly an authoritative source but it points to a Venetian folk tale that describes Saint Peter's mother as irredeemable to the extent that Saint Peter has no way to let her into heaven based on her deeds. Which to be clear is incorrect theology considering your deeds aren't what get you into heaven, but let's roll with it. Apparently there was a time she gave someone an onion, so she got to try to climb to heaven via a string of onion roots, an effort which failed but got her promoted to taking care of Heaven's used wine barrels, ‘cause Venice. Speaking of promotions, before Chapter 1 is out Jesus promotes two more randos to disciple status, first Philip, who He tells “Follow me”, and then Nathanael, who gets to hear “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.” When Nathanael asks Jesus how He knows him, Jesus replies, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you,” to which Nathanael replies “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the king of Israel.” Which leads us to Jesus's reply in the last couple verses: “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that.” 51 He then added, “Very truly I tell you, you will see ‘heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” The next chapter begins with Jesus' first public miracle, the miracle of the wedding at Cana, turning water into wine to keep the party going, which we covered in our miracles roundup in 0.20. The next scene is Jesus driving the moneychangers from the Temple, another one that shows up much earlier in John than it did in the synoptics, and always a crowd pleaser. Here's John's version: JOHN 2 13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. 16 To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father's house into a market!” 17 His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.” 18 The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?” 19 Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” 20 They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?” 21 But the temple he had spoken of was his body. 22 After he was raised from the dead, his disciples recalled what he had said. Then they believed the scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken.” GREGG Considering John is already talking about the resurrection in Chapter 2, I guess my running gag of treating it as a spoiler is done. In John 3, we have the first appearance of Nicodemus, a man unknown to the Synoptics but a recurring figure in John's account. If you've ever heard the phrase “born-again Christian”, you've got this colorful exchange to thank for the imagery: JOHN 3 Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2 He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.” 3 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” 4 “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother's womb to be born!” 5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7 You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.' 8 The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” 9 “How can this be?” Nicodemus asked. 10 “You are Israel's teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? 11 Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. 12 I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? 13 No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man.14 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15 that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.” GREGG If you're thinking, “gosh that last part sounds like crucifixion imagery”, good job reading ahead; if you're *not* thinking “gosh that last part sounds like crucifixion imagery”, perhaps It would be helpful if I reminded you that the bronze serpent Moses had lifted up in the wilderness was lifted up in a pole, and that anyone who looked at it, according to Numbers 21, was cured and saved from the “firey serpents” that were plaguing the grumbly Israelites at the time. Interestingly, at least to me, the dominant symbol of healthcare worldwide is another serpent on a pole, which more cautious scholars don't necessarily connect with Moses' bronze serpent as it's definitely a symbol of the Greek god Aesculapius so not a Hebrew slash Jewish thing directly, but still, serpents on poles associated with medicine has to be a relatively limited field. And yet, not as limited as you might think, as there is apparently a shocking amount of controversy over whether to use one serpent or two on a pole to symbolize healthcare. But let's get back to John 3, which doesn't assign any speaking lines to Jesus, though the next few verses are, like John's prologue, a reflection that's proven *quite* influential in the history of Christianity, especially John 3:16, which reads: JOHN 3 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. GREGG The next verse hammers the same sort of anti-gnostic point we saw in the prologue: JOHN 3 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. GREGG So yay world! It's not all bad. Though it is pretty bad. Let's hear the rest of John's reflection without further interruption: JOHN 3 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. GREGG The chapter finishes with a heavy emphasis on John the Baptist, during which John says “He must become greater; I must become less.” So we'll take that and run with it, keeping John as a side character and chasing the sayings of the Savior into chapter 4, another classic scene, this time it's the Samaritan woman at the well. The parenthetical thoughts you'll hear early on are part of John's account: JOHN 4 7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) 9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” 11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” 13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” 15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17 “I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” 19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” 21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” 25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” 26 Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” GREGG We've spoken about Samaritans before, though it was during my daily show experiment, specifically in the context of Samaritans Deacon Philip baptized in Acts 8. In case you missed that, in a nutshell the Samaritans are traditionally descendents of the ten “lost” tribes left behind when Assyria invaded the Northern Kingdom of Israel, though the fact that they're generally called the “lost” tribes gives an indication of how that tradition is generally received outside the community. The mountain the Samaritan woman is referencing Is Mount Gerizim, in Samaritan tradition the holiest place on earth and the proper site of worship, never mind that Jerusalem Temple business. So, yes, there are some similarities and some differences between Samaritans and Jews. Oh, speaking of Jews, next time you're talking to a Christian antisemite, remind them that here we have Jesus saying, and I quote, “salvation is from the Jews”. Also note that the woman lied to Jesus and also had five husbands before her current non-husband partner, which is probably not something Jesus approved of. And yet, no reproach is recorded. Because you don't have to be hammering people's faults all day, every day. Of course, we did stop at an odd point, with Jesus telling the woman–who Eastern Churches know as Saint Photine and consider not only a martyr but Equal to the Apostles, a level of veneration I genuinely wasn't expecting-anyways we left with Jesus telling the future Saint Photine He is the Messiah, and then I just cut things off. Why? Well, because my bible considered that the end of the section, but of course that just begs the question still. The reason we don't see her direct reply is the Apostles show up and interrupt things. Let's continue where we left off: JOHN 4 27 Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?” GREGG Interesting the specific call out for what they didn't ask, perhaps John wants to draw attention to how Jesus was bucking normal expectations here but the disciples were used to it. Anyways, JOHN 4 28 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, 29 “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” 30 They came out of the town and made their way toward him. 31 Meanwhile his disciples urged him, “Rabbi, eat something.” 32 But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” 33 Then his disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?” 34 “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. 35 Don't you have a saying, ‘It's still four months until harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. 36 Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. 37 Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps' is true. 38 I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.” 39 Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” 40 So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days. 41 And because of his words many more became believers. 42 They said to the woman, “We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.” GREGG One aspect of this section is it has confirmation that my Sayings of the Savior series will always be incomplete, which isn't a surprise, presumably Jesus said lots of things that weren't recorded, in fact John basically says as much towards the end of his Gospel. Perhaps he hit the Samaritans with more of his patented harvest metaphors. Whatever it was, he spent two days at it. After that, Jesus went on a healing spree with miracles I covered in 0.20, including one on the Sabbath that got him into trouble with the local Jewish leaders. Here's the aftermath of that starting in Chapter 5 Verse 16: JOHN 5 16 So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him. 17 In his defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.” 18 For this reason they tried all the more to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God. GREGG Jesus has a very lengthy response to this pushback, and it's another one that helped solidify Christian theology, so brace yourselves: JOHN 5 19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed. 21 For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it. 22 Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son, 23 that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father, who sent him. 24 “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. 25 Very truly I tell you, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live. 26 For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself. 27 And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man. 28 “Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice 29 and come out—those who have done what is good will rise to live, and those who have done what is evil will rise to be condemned. 30 By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. 31 “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true. 32 There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about me is true. 33 “You have sent to John and he has testified to the truth. 34 Not that I accept human testimony; but I mention it that you may be saved. 35 John was a lamp that burned and gave light, and you chose for a time to enjoy his light. 36 “I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to finish—the very works that I am doing—testify that the Father has sent me. 37 And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, 38 nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. 39 You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, 40 yet you refuse to come to me to have life. 41 “I do not accept glory from human beings, 42 but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. 43 I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. 44 How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? 45 “But do not think I will accuse you before the Father. Your accuser is Moses, on whom your hopes are set. 46 If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote about me. 47 But since you do not believe what he wrote, how are you going to believe what I say?” GREGG The next chapter, chapter 6, opens with a couple extra familiar miracles- feeding the five thousand and walking on water- and then gets real. Like, really real. Like, prepping for some Eucharistic mysteries level real. And the Eucharistic theme is touched off by folks from the five thousand looking for more bread. When they pursue him across the lake, he gives them a big old talk about what Catholics are happy to identify as the Eucharist, which we'll obviously be talking more about as we go. JOHN 6 “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” 28 Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” 29 Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” 30 So they asked him, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? 31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.'” 32 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” 34 “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.” 35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.” 41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven'?” GREGG It's worth noting how controversially this is landing. Let's continue: JOHN 6 43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.' Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. 47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” 52 Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” GREGG Controversial for sure, but Jesus certainly shows no indication of a willingness to change analogy–or clarify that he's speaking metaphorically. So believers in the Catholic understanding of the Eucharist are perfectly willing to note that he must indeed be being literal here when he says this next part: JOHN 6 “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum” 60 On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” 61 Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! 63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. 64 Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. 65 He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.” 66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. GREGG After letting many of his followers walk over this whole bread is flesh and you must eat it business, and given passages like this and the Last Supper it's no wonder most Christians are big on the Eucharist, anyways, after that, Jesus turns to the Twelve: JOHN 6 67 “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. 68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69 We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” 70 Then Jesus replied, “Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!” 71 (He meant Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, who, though one of the Twelve, was later to betray him.) GREGG It's always nice to see Peter stepping up, and it's always fun to queue up the boos when Judas Isacriot gets a mention . In the next section, chapter seven now, we see Jesus interacting with folks in the Feast of Booths aka the Festival of Tabernacles aka Sukkot. The scene naturally starts with Jesus declaring that he will do no such thing. JOHN 7 “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. 7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. 8 You go to the festival. I am not going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.” 9 After he had said this, he stayed in Galilee. GREGG Wait, didn't I promise Jesus at the Festival? What gives? Well, read on! JOHN 7 10 However, after his brothers had left for the festival, he went also, not publicly, but in secret. 11 Now at the festival the Jewish leaders were watching for Jesus and asking, “Where is he?” 12 Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, “He is a good man.” Others replied, “No, he deceives the people.” 13 But no one would say anything publicly about him for fear of the leaders. 14 Not until halfway through the festival did Jesus go up to the temple courts and begin to teach. 15 The Jews there were amazed and asked, “How did this man get such learning without having been taught?” 16 Jesus answered, “My teaching is not my own. It comes from the one who sent me. 17 Anyone who chooses to do the will of God will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own. 18 Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him. 19 Has not Moses given you the law? Yet not one of you keeps the law. Why are you trying to kill me?” 20 “You are demon-possessed,” the crowd answered. “Who is trying to kill you?” 21 Jesus said to them, “I did one miracle, and you are all amazed. 22 Yet, because Moses gave you circumcision (though actually it did not come from Moses, but from the patriarchs), you circumcise a boy on the Sabbath. 23 Now if a boy can be circumcised on the Sabbath so that the law of Moses may not be broken, why are you angry with me for healing a man's whole body on the Sabbath? 24 Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.” 25 At that point some of the people of Jerusalem began to ask, “Isn't this the man they are trying to kill? 26 Here he is, speaking publicly, and they are not saying a word to him. Have the authorities really concluded that he is the Messiah? 27 But we know where this man is from; when the Messiah comes, no one will know where he is from.” 28 Then Jesus, still teaching in the temple courts, cried out, “Yes, you know me, and you know where I am from. I am not here on my own authority, but he who sent me is true. You do not know him, 29 but I know him because I am from him and he sent me.” 30 At this they tried to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come. 31 Still, many in the crowd believed in him. They said, “When the Messiah comes, will he perform more signs than this man?” 32 The Pharisees heard the crowd whispering such things about him. Then the chief priests and the Pharisees sent temple guards to arrest him. 33 Jesus said, “I am with you for only a short time, and then I am going to the one who sent me. 34 You will look for me, but you will not find me; and where I am, you cannot come.” 35 The Jews said to one another, “Where does this man intend to go that we cannot find him? Will he go where our people live scattered among the Greeks, and teach the Greeks? 36 What did he mean when he said, ‘You will look for me, but you will not find me,' and ‘Where I am, you cannot come'?” 37 On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. 38 Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” 39 By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified. GREGG The rest of the chapter is devoted to describing various responses to this preaching, from believing Jesus and accepting Him as the Messiah to wanting to execute him. Here Nicodemus pops up, perhaps unsurprisingly recommending the authorities hear Jesus out. Chapter 8 starts out with something of a tense scene, with Jesus effectively being given power of life and death over a woman who had been caught in adultery–no mention of the man. This woman, like many others, is unnamed in the text. The most common tradition in my experience is to associate her with Mary Magdalene, but that seems to miss the mark on several accounts, not least that John seems to like spelling out connections like that like when we saw Nicodemus pop up again last chapter when he was not only called Nicodemus but also described as “Nicodemus who had gone to Jesus earlier”, which is pretty straightforward. Also, Mary Magdalene's reputation as a reformed prostitute–apparently first popularized by none other than Pope Gregory the Great–doesn't have much of a leg to stand on unless you confuse her with the other Mary of Martha and Mary fame. Anyways, Mary Magdalene or not–probably not–but Mary Magdalene or not, the woman's life is in Jesus' hands: JOHN 8 “3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”” GREGG First off, note the presence of a call to repentance here, because my point earlier was not that it should never happen, but that it does not have to happen every time. This is also the only time we see Jesus writing, which I honestly probably wouldn't be pointing out if it weren't for the fact that we have no idea what he wrote. Like none. You tell me if you have ideas, Popeularhistory@gmail.com. One surprising bit about this passage is that apparently most Scripture scholars argue that it's a later addition, not an original part of the Gospel of John. An early addition, mind you, but an addition nonetheless. From the whole Pope-colored glasses perspective it doesn't matter, the canon of Scripture is settled and this passage is part of it. As we've discussed before, from a Catholic perspective the human authorship is theologically irrelevant. Of course, the number one use for this passage in Catholic water-cooler circles is a mariology joke: “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone”... *rock whizzes by*- mom! *drum sting* In verse 12, the scene shifts abruptly, possibly due to the later addition scenario I mentioned a minute ago. Let's pick back up without any gap, and see yet another passage of John's Gospel at pains to explain Christology, which just in case I haven't said it already is the mainstream Christian theological understanding of Christ. Anyways: JOHN 8 12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” 13 The Pharisees challenged him, “Here you are, appearing as your own witness; your testimony is not valid.” 14 Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going. 15 You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. 16 But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me. 17 In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two witnesses is true. 18 I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me.” 19 Then they asked him, “Where is your father?” “You do not know me or my Father,” Jesus replied. “If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” 20 He spoke these words while teaching in the temple courts near the place where the offerings were put. Yet no one seized him, because his hour had not yet come. GREGG It's interesting to see Jesus referencing court here, or at least the temple courts, because I've got to say there's no way the argument He's giving would hold up in court. I probably would be pretty skeptical myself if I were one of the Pharisees here. Then again, I definitely get the sense that He's not primarily talking for *their* benefit here. Anyways, let's continue: JOHN 8 21 Once more Jesus said to them, “I am going away, and you will look for me, and you will die in your sin. Where I go, you cannot come.” 22 This made the Jews ask, “Will he kill himself? Is that why he says, ‘Where I go, you cannot come'?” 23 But he continued, “You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. 24 I told you that you would die in your sins; if you do not believe that I am he, you will indeed die in your sins.” 25 “Who are you?” they asked. “Just what I have been telling you from the beginning,” Jesus replied. 26 “I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is trustworthy, and what I have heard from him I tell the world.” 27 They did not understand that he was telling them about his Father. 28 So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am he and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. 29 The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” 30 Even as he spoke, many believed in him. 31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” GREGG This is the high water mark for this group following Jesus. It goes very far downhill as we continue, and understandably as Jesus has some hard things to say. You might also detect some feelings Jesus has about His own fate: JOHN 8 33 They answered him, “We are Abraham's descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” 34 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. 37 I know that you are Abraham's descendants. Yet you are looking for a way to kill me, because you have no room for my word. 38 I am telling you what I have seen in the Father's presence, and you are doing what you have heard from your father.” 39 “Abraham is our father,” they answered. “If you were Abraham's children,” said Jesus, “then you would do what Abraham did. 40 As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. 41 You are doing the works of your own father.” “We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.” 42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. 43 Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! 46 Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me? 47 Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.” GREGG Only after being called children of the devil do the Pharisees turn on Jesus here. Some might argue that they were never on his side to begin with, because that's how some similar accounts play out elsewhere in the Gospels, but there's no hint of that here, in fact quite the opposite, remember partway through this section John had noted that some of the Jews were starting to believe in Him and Jesus began speaking to them in particular. This is heavy stuff. Anyways: JOHN 8 48 The Jews answered him, “Aren't we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?” 49 “I am not possessed by a demon,” said Jesus, “but I honor my Father and you dishonor me. 50 I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge. 51 Very truly I tell you, whoever obeys my word will never see death.” 52 At this they exclaimed, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that whoever obeys your word will never taste death. 53 Are you greater than our father Abraham? He died, and so did the prophets. Who do you think you are?” 54 Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. 55 Though you do not know him, I know him. If I said I did not, I would be a liar like you, but I do know him and obey his word. 56 Your father Abraham rejoiced at the thought of seeing my day; he saw it and was glad.” 57 “You are not yet fifty years old,” they said to him, “and you have seen Abraham!” 58 “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” 59 At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds. GREGG So in the end, let it never be said that Jesus was unwilling to antagonize. Chapter 9 opens with a miracle, and the entire chapter is devoted to the fallout from that miracle. It was the case of a man who had been blind since birth, and we did cover the miracle itself and its immediate aftermath in our miracles series--now that we're making sure we hit all the sayings of the Savior it's time to cover a later portion of the chapter, after the Pharisees conduct an investigation that does not go well for the healed man. We're picking up in Verse 35: JOHN 9 35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” 36 “Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.” 37 Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.” 38 Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him. 39 Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.” 40 Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?” 41 Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains. GREGG The next chapter opens with one of the closest things John has to a parable, and it's a big one: The Good Shepherd. JOHN 10 “Very truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. 2 The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice.” 6 Jesus used this figure of speech, but the Pharisees did not understand what he was telling them. 7 Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” GREGG The image of the Shepherd is all over Christianity. Priests are called pastors, bishops carry a shepherd's crook, and archbishops' pallia are made from the wool of lambs from Tre Fontane Abbey in Rome. Of course some overtones of the imagery predate Christ's parable, with the blood of the passover lamb marking Jewish door lentils since the Exodus. More on the Lamb of God soon. Later in the chapter, Jesus gets asked a pretty blunt question, and gives a pretty blunt answer: JOHN 10 “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.” 25 Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father's name testify about me, 26 but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. 30 I and the Father are one. GREGG And, like last chapter, this declaration is not well received: JOHN 10 31 Again his Jewish opponents picked up stones to stone him, 32 but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?” 33 “We are not stoning you for any good work,” they replied, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.” 34 Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I have said you are “gods”'? 35 If he called them ‘gods,' to whom the word of God came—and Scripture cannot be set aside— 36 what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, ‘I am God's Son'? 37 Do not believe me unless I do the works of my Father. 38 But if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.” 39 Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp. 40 Then Jesus went back across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing in the early days. There he stayed, 41 and many people came to him. They said, “Though John never performed a sign, all that John said about this man was true.” 42 And in that place many believed in Jesus. GREGG All right, I need to address how I can possibly have hope for everyone when Jesus is walking around calling many of the people he interacts with children of the devil, as he did in chapter 7, and specifically not his sheep, as he does here. It's one thing to hope for universal salvation in the face of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, John's been hitting different. And yet in John 12:32 we'll hear Jesus say “I will draw all people to myself”. How do we get there from here? Well, ultimately, from a Christian perspective, the same way we get anywhere: by the grace of God. Not only at a higher level–the ”draw all people to myself” business is framed as being part of the Crucifixion–but also at a more intimate and personal level. Yes, I am suggesting that calling folks children of the devil is intimate and personal. When my children mess up, I parent them by clearly pointing out what they've done that's wrong and contrasting it to what they should be doing. It's not the warmest, fuzziest part of parenting, but it's an important part of parenting. I submit to you that Jesus is doing the same here. Of course in the end you may well not agree with me. That's to be expected. As long as you're getting something out of listening to all this, and presumably you are since you're a good chunk of the way through episode whatever, carry on. Let's get back to John's narrative. “If you do not believe me, believe the works”, Jesus said, and the next section, Chapter 11, is dominated by one of Jesus' most famous works, the resurrection of Lazarus. Of course we covered that among the miracles, and the Savior is silent outside of that portion, so on to Chapter 12, the anointing at Bethany. Those of you that listened to the daily show and Cardinal Numbers will recall the use I got out of the Martha/Mary dynamic, and I'm not the only one to use this Gospel scene as a parable. Let's go ahead and take it from the top, where it clearly ties in to the resurrection from the previous chapter: JOHN 12 12 Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 Here a dinner was given in Jesus' honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. 3 Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4 But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, 5 “Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages.” 6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. GREGG Judas, Judas. Get yourself together, man. And so we set the stage for one of the most badly applied sayings of the Savior, see if you can spot it: JOHN 12 7 “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” GREGG The interpretation I'm referring to is the idea that because there will always be poor people we should do nothing to help those in poverty. Thankfully, that's straightforwardly rebutted by the beatitudes and by every parable that shows acts of compassion for the least among us as the way to love Christ. This section is, however, a reminder that the “sell the Vatican, feed the world” position is also wrong, not only economically–you'd feed the world for a day and then what–but spiritually as well. We're a physical people, the more our senses are engaged the more fully we can participate in liturgy. And yet for someone who has an allergy to incense, incense isn't going to help them worship, and for someone who has baggage associated with one style or another, they may be served more effectively by another approach. One of the most controversial things you'll hear me say is that there are multiple right answers as far as liturgy goes. Worship is made to draw people to Christ, and people are coming from different places. As long as it's within bounds according to the Church, God can and will supply what is lacking. And sorry for getting into a “what kind of Mass is best” discussion here, that's decidedly looking into the future, but this passage features prominently in such discussions, and you all know I like teasing things before they properly emerge, so yes, get hype for 0.31: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. John 12 continues with that standard sign that we're coming towards the end of Jesus' time on earth, the triumphal entry into Jerusalem. Jesus doesn't say anything in John's account, but it's a significant scene, so let's check out John's version: JOHN 12 12 The next day the great crowd that had come for the festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. 13 They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, “Hosanna!” “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Blessed is the king of Israel!” 14 Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, as it is written: 15 “Do not be afraid, Daughter Zion; see, your king is coming, seated on a donkey's colt.” 16 At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that these things had been done to him. 17 Now the crowd that was with him when he called Lazarus from the tomb and raised him from the dead continued to spread the word. 18 Many people, because they had heard that he had performed this sign, went out to meet him. 19 So the Pharisees said to one another, “See, this is getting us nowhere. Look how the whole world has gone after him!” GREGG The most particular feature is that last bit, with the frustrated Pharisees still getting a spotlight even among the triumph. John's account is really very interested in that conflict. The next section opens with a surprisingly long message chain: JOHN 12 20 Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival. 21 They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. “Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” 22 Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus. 23 Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24 Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. 27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!” GREGG Jesus is a bit less direct about predicting his death in John than He was in the synoptics, calling it his “glorification”, but it's definitely still there, with the talk of seeds dying to spread growth. You get the sense that it's not really His first choice with His own description of His troubled soul, something that parallels Luke 22:42, Jesus' prayer in the garden at Gethsemane, pretty closely. And, yet while we will discuss that scene and that prayer, we actually haven't gotten to it yet, as Luke has it as part of his overall Passion narrative, a passion narrative being something discussing Jesus' finale of life, patior being a Latin term meaning to suffer, or to endure. By my counting, and folks vary, we're not *quite* to John's passion narrative yet, but the overlap is a sign that we're really very close. Then, God the Father, apparently, speaks, in a first for John's Gospel as John skipped the voice-from-heaven part of Jesus' baptism: JOHN 12 Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him. 30 Jesus said, “This voice was for your benefit, not mine. 31 Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out. 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die. 34 The crowd spoke up, “We have heard f
Jesus is different than we expect. He is loves, but His love is conditional. He is just, but His justice is based on our actions. He calls many, but not all. Those chosen must remain faithful to the end. We are required to deny ourselves, to take up our cross, to follow Christ. What we do matters! ***84: Jesus Tells Of The Temptation Of RichesMatthew 19:16-30; Mark 10:17-31; Luke 18:18-30A MAN came to Jesus and asked: “Good Master, what shall I do that I may have eternal life?” Jesus replied: “Why callest thou me good? There is none good but one–that is, God. But if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.” The man asked: “Which?” Jesus replied: “Thou shalt do no murder, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness. Honor thy father and thy mother, and thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” The man said to Jesus: “All these things I have kept from my youth up. What lack I yet?” Jesus, looking upon him, loved him and replied: “One thing thou lackest. Go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in Heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow me.” When the man heard that, he went away sadly; for he had very great possessions. Then Jesus turned to his disciples and said: “Verily I say unto you that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of Heaven.” The disciples were astonished at these words. Seeing their surprise, Jesus said to them: “Children, how hard it is for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” The astonishment of the disciples was great. They said to one another: “Who then can be saved?” Jesus answered them saying: “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” Thereupon Peter said to Jesus: “Behold, we have forsaken all and followed thee. What shall we have therefore?” Jesus replied to him: “Verily I say unto you that ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And...
The path to regeneration is to turn from your ways (repent); then, keep the Ten commandments. This act of continuing obedience reveals your belief and opens the door to communication. Communication from the Spirit of God leads to revelation of character flaws and the opportunity to make the changes required for perfection. The guidance we seek is the result of obedience. The move toward salvation is instant; the path to perfection is a progression - repentance, regeneration, endurance, and ultimately, salvation. ***84: Jesus Tells Of The Temptation Of RichesMatthew 19:16-30; Mark 10:17-31; Luke 18:18-30A MAN came to Jesus and asked: “Good Master, what shall I do that I may have eternal life?” Jesus replied: “Why callest thou me good? There is none good but one–that is, God. But if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.” The man asked: “Which?” Jesus replied: “Thou shalt do no murder, thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness. Honor thy father and thy mother, and thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” The man said to Jesus: “All these things I have kept from my youth up. What lack I yet?” Jesus, looking upon him, loved him and replied: “One thing thou lackest. Go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in Heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow me.” When the man heard that, he went away sadly; for he had very great possessions. Then Jesus turned to his disciples and said: “Verily I say unto you that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of Heaven.” The disciples were astonished at these words. Seeing their surprise, Jesus said to them: “Children, how hard it is for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” The astonishment of the disciples was great. They said to one another: “Who then can be saved?” Jesus answered them saying: “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” Thereupon Peter said to Jesus: “Behold, we have forsaken all and followed thee. What shall we have therefore?” Jesus replied to him: ...
IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Saint Luke the Evangelist. Russian Eastern Orthodox icon from Russia. 18th century. Wood, tempera. Via Wikimedia Commons. https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/ultraviolet-light-reveals-scientists-hidden-bible-passage-1500-years-later (for Luke) Unique passages: https://www.julianspriggs.co.uk/pages/UniquePassages Thanks Biblehub.com's parallel chapters tool. Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures") https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1 The Eye of the Needle (crossword/sudoku feedback): https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-25583,00.html#:~:text=The%20%22Eye%20of%20the%20Needle,in%20order%20to%20enter%20heaven Camel needle w/Aquinas citation (of Anselm of Canterbury)-- Anselm of Canterbury as cited in Catena Aurea, Thomas Aquinas, CCEL Edition. https://classictheology.org/2021/10/12/through-the-eye-of-an-actual-needle-the-fake-gate-theory/ The Widow's Mite: https://numismatics.org/pocketchange/the-poor-widows-mite/ Miracles of Jesus reference list: https://sunnyhillschurch.com/3301/the-37-miracles-of-jesus-in-chronological-order/ TRANSCRIPT Welcome to the Popeular History Podcast: History through Pope Colored Glasses. My name is Gregg and this is episode 0.21g: Sayings of the Savior Part VII: A Look at Luke. All of these aught episodes are made to let us build our Pope-colored glasses so we can use the same lenses when we look at history together. If you're lost, start at the beginning! Today we continue our Sayings of the Savior series with a look at Luke, covering everything Jesus said in that Gospel that we haven't yet discussed–so leaving off things like the miracles we did in 0.20 and the parables and other sayings we did in earlier Sayings of the Savior installments- so we'll be leaving you in suspense right before the concluding few chapters discussing Jesus' death and His (spoiler alert) resurrection, which we'll cover as we finish the remaining mysteries of the rosary in future Catholic worldbuilding episodes. We already covered the first three chapters of Luke gradually from Episode 0.14 to Episode 0.19, and we'll cover the last three chapters as we talk through the Passion and the Resurrection (oops, spoilers). Which leaves Luke chapters 4 through 21 as our focus for today. Luke 4 starts with the Temptation in the Desert. As you know by now, it's not unusual to find parallel scenes in the Gospels, especially in the so-called synoptic Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, and fitting with that pattern, we saw a version of this scene in Matthew, and it actually made an appearance in Mark as well, though the Mark version was so abbreviated it didn't actually assign any dialog to Jesus or Satan so I didn't zoom in on it–after all, this is Sayings of the Savior. Anyways, let's see Luke's temptation scene and note what differences we see from Matthew's version. In the first temptation, Matthew has Satan referring to multiple stones Jesus could turn into bread after his 40 day fast, while Luke has just one stone. I'm sure there's commentary that discusses this difference--it's the Bible, there's commentary for everything– but unlike the Mark episode, I'm not going to go into quite that level of detail with Luke. It's worth noting that when Christ responds with LUKE "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone.'” GREGG he leaves off the second half of the quote from Deuteronomy 8:3 “but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.” which Matthew had included. Then, the second and third temptation we saw in Matthew are reversed. In Luke, Satan first tells Jesus he can give him all sorts of power if He worships him, which, I mean, I guess things would have been pretty different if Jesus had taken him up on that. Like, serious plot twist. But nah. He says LUKE “It is written: 'Worship the Lord your God and serve him only” GREGG and then the third temptation in Luke's ordering is the testing of God's protection of Jesus. Rather than seeing if God will save Him, Jesus says: LUKE: It is said: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'” GREGG After seeing the devil off, Jesus begins his traveling and preaching ministry and soon enough winds up in his hometown. This is a scene that showed up in Matthew and Mark as well, the one where Jesus notes that no prophet is welcome in his hometown. In Luke it's more thorough and frankly dramatic. Long quote ahead, let's get into it: LUKE 4 16He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, 17and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: 18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, 19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.” 20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. 21He began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” 22All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. "Isn't this Joseph's son?" they asked. 23Jesus said to them, "Surely you will quote this proverb to me: 'Physician, heal yourself!' And you will tell me, 'Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.'" 24"Truly I tell you," he continued, "no prophet is accepted in his hometown. 25I assure you that there were many widows in Israel in Elijah's time, when the sky was shut for three and a half years and there was a severe famine throughout the land. 26Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a widow in Zarephath in the region of Sidon. 27And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed--only Naaman the Syrian.” 28All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. 29They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. 30But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way. GREGG So, just to recap, we have Jesus preaching a bit of a softball passage from Isaiah, promising good news to the poor. That was a long quote, so let's hear just that passage as a refresher: “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor” The good news part is clear enough In terms of freedom and healing, but what is the year of the Lord's favor mentioned? By all accounts it's the Jubilee year described in Leviticus 25. You know how the seventh day is the Sabbath, a day of rest for the people? Well the seventh year was a “day”of rest for the fields, where they were to lie fallow, that is, go untilled and unworked, letting nature take its course for a year. Crops could not be harvested in an organized way, though what grows could be casually consumed by the owners, or by the needy, or really by anyone, or by animals. Going further, personal debts among the people of Israel were cancelled in a levelling move. This custom is still in force in much of Israel, where it is called the Shmita. Of course, following the quasi-precept of “two Jews, three opinions”, application slash abrogation of this practice varies. Anyways, the Jubilee year was not the seventh year, the Smhita I mentioned, but rather the fiftieth year, being the year after the seventh set of seven years, because symbolism. In the Jubilee year, things were even more intense, for instance going beyond personal debt forgiveness to returning sold land to the tribe of origin and to freeing Israelites who had sold themselves into slavery, basically a factory reset for society. But note, this was only enslaved Israelites who were to be freed in the Jubilee year, the “year of the Lord's favor”. And this is where we turn back to Luke 4, because Jesus pivots the conversation away from the people of Israel to the fringes and even beyond the borders of Jewish society, to Sidon and Syria. But sending the good news to the gentiles is quite a bridge too far for his audience, who prepare to kill him in their rage. Like I said, quite the scene, and it's easy to understand why skeptics might place it as having been written after Christianity had already begun to spread among the gentiles and catch flack for doing so on the home front. My main narrative episodes haven't gotten far, but we've already started to see some of that tension, and it will only grow. Of course, I've committed to getting my Catholic Worldbuilding stuff done before I dive back into the main narrative stuff, and to do that we need to get through the rest of Luke, and to do *that* we at least need to get through the rest of Luke 4. After escaping the assembled mob, apparently by miraculous means of some kind because it simply says He walked right through the crowd, Jesus proceeds to do other miracles in towns around the region. The people who lived near Peter's mother-in-law must have really appreciated the assist, because in stark contrast to his hometown reception they tried to keep him from leaving. He responded: LUKE 4 “I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.” GREGG Luke 5 opens with Jesus calling his disciples to follow Him. We covered the miraculous catch of fish that got Peter on board when we did our roundup of miracles, and other assorted miracles carry us through to Verse 27, when we have the Call of Matthew, known to Luke as Levi. Matthew vs. Levi Is worth a minute. Matthew is the more common name for this disciple, and may have been his Christian name. But Levi is the name preferred here in Luke and also in Mark. One explanation I saw in multiple places is that Matthew is a Greek name while Levi is Hebrew, an explanation that suffers from being wrong, as Matthew is Hebrew for “gift of God”. A perhaps more successful explanation is that Matthew was a Levite, you know, someone from the Tribe of Levi, and things got a bit garbled. Or there was a name change that just didn't get recorded in Scripture or in any other tradition for that matter.. Matthew and Levi being separate individuals seems to be the least popular theory, so regardless of the particulars, your takeaway from this should be the same as it was when we talked about this last episode: they're the same person. Either way, here's the call of Matthew *cough* Levi: LUKE 5 27Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, 28and Levi got up, left everything and followed him. GREGG OK, maybe I didn't need to go into all that detail for two words of Jesus, but hey, what's done is done, so “follow me” across a few more verses, where Jesus gets questioned about the company He's chosen to keep: LUKE 5 Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” 31Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” GREGG That's good news for us sinners, I can tell you that much. Luke 5 finishes with some parables, which we covered in the Parables roundup earlier in this series, so on to Luke 6, which opens with the grain-picking scene we've seen a couple of times already. SYNOPTIC ROUNDUP, you know the drill [airhorn], except I'm skipping rehashing the other two accounts, just, you know, general reminder that synoptic parallels are a thing. Anyways, let's get another dose of that “Lord of the Sabbath” action: LUKE 6 1One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. 2Some of the Pharisees asked, "Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” 3Jesus answered them, "Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” 5Then Jesus said to them, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” GREGG Oh yeah, good stuff. Check my Matthew and Mark episodes if you want more commentary on it, I want to buckle down and get to John. Of course by that I mean John the Baptist, whose inquiry gives us of the next section we need to cover. Of course, as is so often the case with these synoptic Gospels, this isn't actually a whole new section. This next chunk closely matches a parallel passage in Matthew 11. If you want to follow along, in Matthew it's the start of that Chapter, while in Luke we're at chapter 7 verse 18: LUKE 7 18John's disciples told him about all these things. Calling two of them, 19he sent them to the Lord to ask, "Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else? 20When the men came to Jesus, they said, "John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, 'Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?'” 21At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. GREGG Oh look there's a batch of miracles that didn't make it into my miracles roundup, at least not directly. It's pretty vague, and it's unique to Luke. This small difference is exactly the sort of thing that gets analyzed to try to understand the relationship between Matthew and Luke, and like every other bit of Scriptural analysis you can find someone taking pretty much any conceivable stance. In any case, the reference to those timely miracles helps set the stage for the next verse, which is back to closely paralleling Matthew: LUKE 7 22So he replied to the messengers, "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. 23Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” 24After John's messengers left, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: "What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed swayed by the wind? 25If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear expensive clothes and indulge in luxury are in palaces. 26But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 27This is the one about whom it is written: "'I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.' 28I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John; yet the one who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.” GREGG Now, I went back and checked my commentary on Matthew's version of this scene, and it was basically nothing. Which is fair, I was pretty deadline-crunched at the time and knew I'd be revisiting it here. But it's definitely worth noting that both passages have John the Baptist, who Jesus proclaims as a great, or even the greatest, prophet, both passages have this spiritual giant publicly uncertain about whether Jesus is the Messiah. You could perhaps argue this was a ruse, but John seems to have been a straight shooter- that's why he's sending delegates from prison after all rather than asking himself. So it seems to be a genuine question. Which means if you're under the impression that having faith or even being the greatest prophet ever automatically means you have no remaining questions and can see all of God's plan perfectly, apparently not. After all, John had been the one ministering at Jesus' baptism, where Heaven had opened and the Spirit had come down as a dove and God's own voice had told Jesus: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” And yet now John is asking, publicly: “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?" There's a lesson in there on vulnerability and openness to God's plan. Or perhaps a lesson in how everyone can encounter uncertainty, no matter how certain their role seems. We'll see Jesus go even further in questioning during the Passion narrative when the time comes. Skipping a few verses of parenthetical commentary that can only be found in Luke, let's pick back up at Luke 7 verse 31: LUKE 7 31Jesus went on to say, "To what, then, can I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? 32They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling out to each other: "'We played the pipe for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not cry.' 33For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, 'He has a demon.' 34The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.' 35But wisdom is proved right by all her children.” GREGG If you aren't willing to listen, you'll find any excuse to dismiss the message. But the wise will be shown by making the right choice. After wrapping that up, Jesus goes on a bit of a parable tour until he winds up with a bit more family awkwardness In Luke 8:19: LUKE 8 19 Now Jesus' mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. 20 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting CORRECT to see you.” 21 He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice.” GREGG Ouch, but also yay, Jesus doesn't put His earthly family above others. Which is good news If you didn't start out as His family, though it might sting a little if you did. The rest of Luke 8 is a bunch of previously-discussed miracles, so we're on to Luke 9: LUKE 9 9 When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, 2 and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. 3 He told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt. 4 Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town. 5 If people do not welcome you, leave their town and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” 6 So they set out and went from village to village, proclaiming the good news and healing people everywhere. GREGG This Isn't the first or even the second time we've seen these basic marching orders, but it actually is the last as John is, well, a very different Gospel, as we'll see in our next worldbuilding episode. Anyways, after feeding the 5,000 we get to verse 18, where Luke's version of Peter's confession begins. As with Mark, don't get too excited: LUKE 9 18 Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?” 19 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.” 20 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “God's Messiah.” 21 Jesus strictly warned them not to tell this to anyone.” GREGG So that's three for three on synoptic Gospels having Peter describe Jesus as the Messiah. Only Matthew did the keys thing, though. Also note the messianic secret trope popping up again- Jesus will apparently reverse his gag order after the Passion, because the Book of Acts- which was also written by Luke, or at least by whoever wrote Luke, will be all about telling everyone Jesus is the Messiah. Immediately after that exchange, Jesus starts talking about his future, and it's not rosy: LUKE 9 22 And he said, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.” 23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? 26 Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. 27 “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.” GREGG This is all closely paralleling Matthew, and Mark as well, though as usual Mark was a bit shorter, skipping the last verse about some standing there not tasting death before they see the Kingdom. Again, you can see why early Christians were basically a doomsday cult expecting the end sooner rather than later. Certainly *your* end will come, so, you know, keep that in mind. We're going to skip the transfiguration since that's its own mystery of the rosary with its own episode, and there's another miracle account after that. So skipping along, come with me to Luke 9:43: LUKE 9 While everyone was marveling at all that Jesus did, he said to his disciples, 44 “Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you: The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men.” 45 But they did not understand what this meant. It was hidden from them, so that they did not grasp it, and they were afraid to ask him about it. GREGG If my episode on Mark is still fresh in your mind, you may already predict where this is going, as this particular section is a close Mark and Luke parallel. Matthew split things up in different ways but for both Mark and Luke the conversation with a child and being the greatest in the kingdom follows immediately after Jesus states what will become of him, leaving the disciples too afraid to ask. Let's carry on with the next verse: LUKE 9 46 An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. 47 Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. 48 Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.” GREGG The next verse is a bit of a random aside, but an important one as I mentioned before when it came up in Mark: LUKE 9 49 “Master,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us.” 50 “Do not stop him,” Jesus said, “for whoever is not against you is for you.” GREGG Skipping ahead to verse 57, we have some stray sayings that underline the urgency of following Christ: LUKE 9 57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” 59 He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” 60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.” 62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” GREGG A bit harsh, but Jesus is like that sometimes. Luke 10 opens with an long section on Jesus' next project, sending out seventy-two disciples, or seventy according to some manuscripts. Some may recall a previous seventy vs seventy-two discussion when we talked about the Septuagint, and I expect there's a reason for that parallel, but either way that's not the particular rabbit hole I want to go down here today. Instead, I want to note that we can have some fun with this Luke-only passage, and that we wouldn't be the first to do so. You see, seventy is a long but not completely impractical number of folks to list off, and while Luke doesn't give names, there are plenty of extrabiblical sources assigning names and biographical details to some or all of the seventy. This passage discussing Jesus sending out seventy disciples was especially useful for ancient or wannabe ancient dioceses that couldn't trace back to a specific Apostle. Instead, lo and behold, turns out their founder was one of the unnamed seventy. Boom presto, a biblical founder! Of course that's the skeptical read, it could well be that some such stories are true. But there are enough names assigned to the 70 that they certainly aren't *all* true, kind of like how there are at least four heads of John the Baptist floating around. In the end, as a reminder, Catholics are generally free to believe or disbelieve in the authenticity and or efficacy of any particular relic or tradition as long as they accept the fundamental teachings and authority of the Catholic Church. In terms of the promised fun we can have, I'd like to announce a little side project, a game where I share a story of someone spreading Christianity and the next episode we'll discuss whether it's real or made up and what the sources are. We'll start that at the end of this episode. For now, let's hear about the seventy slash seventy-two: LUKE 10 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. 3 Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. 4 Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road. 5 “When you enter a house, first say, ‘Peace to this house.' 6 If someone who promotes peace is there, your peace will rest on them; if not, it will return to you. 7 Stay there, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house. GREGG Someone tell the Jehovah's Witnesses… LUKE 10 8 “When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is offered to you. 9 Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.' 10 But when you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, 11 ‘Even the dust of your town we wipe from our feet as a warning to you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God has come near.' 12 I tell you, it will be more bearable on that day for Sodom than for that town. 13 “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago, sitting in sackcloth and ashes. 14 But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon at the judgment than for you. 15 And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades. 16 “Whoever listens to you listens to me; whoever rejects you rejects me; but whoever rejects me rejects him who sent me.” 17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” 18 He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. GREGG That verse is the root of some of the quirky snake-handling churches in Appalachia by the way… LUKE 10 20 However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” 21 At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. 22 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” 23 Then he turned to his disciples and said privately, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see. 24 For I tell you that many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.” GREGG Those last two verses touch on an interesting discussion throughout Church history, namely the fate of those who lived before the time of Christ. Could they be saved? Observant Jews of the time, yes, certainly. But those who never encountered Christianity or Judaism because of when or where they lived historically has proven a bit of an awkward question for the Church. The “well you better go tell them” impulse has long served to recruit missionaries, but on the other end many did and do argue that it hardly seems fair to expect folks to follow what through no fault of their own they've never been exposed to. Granted it's less of an issue nowadays when very few folks worldwide haven't at least heard of Christ, but the question remains. Certainly the Catholic Church insists that all humans who are saved are saved through Christ, there's no other way. And yet the Church also affirms that God is not bound by time, as evidenced by the defined belief required of all Catholics in the Immaculate Conception, where the Blessed Virgin Mary was preserved from all stain of sin from the moment of her conception. Obviously that took place before the Incarnation, so it's not like the years going from BC to AD is a firm barrier for the saving action of Christ in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Indeed, by implication, the previously mentioned Jews who awaited the grand opening of heaven were able to do so by the work of Christ according to the Church, though given how many horrible things have been done to Jews in the name of Christ through the years that isn't something that tends to be emphasized. In the end, I think you probably know me well enough by now to correctly guess that I land on the hopeful end of this discussion. By one means or another, all through Christ, I hope for all. But to be very clear, that's my hope, and for what it's worth. Pope Francis' hope as well according to a recent interview, but it's not established Church teaching. Skipping past the parable of the Good Samaritan, let's go to verse 38 for Martha and Mary, an exchange that's my go-to analogy for the two basic types of service to the Church, with Martha being the “active” type and Mary the “contemplative”. LUKE 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” GREGG The first part of Luke 11 covers Luke's take on the Our Father-covered in 0.21b- and the Friend at Midnight covered in our parables roundup. So skip along to Verse 9, which parallels Matthew's Sermon on the Mount, so it will sound familiar: LUKE 11 9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” GREGG Skip ahead again, this time to verse 24, because verses 14-23 were covered under miracles: LUKE 24 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.' 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” 27 As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.” 28 He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” GREGG There's a reminder that relapsing can be worse than the initial lapse, and a nice compliment session preserved only in Luke. But then the tone shifts, and the rest of the chapter has parallels in Matthew: LUKE 11 29 As the crowds increased, Jesus said, “This is a wicked generation. It asks for a sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah. 30 For as Jonah was a sign to the Ninevites, so also will the Son of Man be to this generation. 31 The Queen of the South will rise at the judgment with the people of this generation and condemn them, for she came from the ends of the earth to listen to Solomon's wisdom; and now something greater than Solomon is here. 32 The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and now something greater than Jonah is here GREGG Then there's a comparatively light lamp analogy, which I kind of covered during the Sermon on the Mount commentary, but not in its entirety, so I'm giving it all to you here: LUKE 11 33 “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light. 34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. 35 See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. 36 Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be just as full of light as when a lamp shines its light on you.” GREGG And now as we get back to a more challenging tone, and as Jesus targets the Pharisees and the teachers of the Law specifically, I want to give the same general note that I gave for the parallel verses in Matthew: do not take these verses out of context to justify antisemitism, which has no place in the Catholic Church, or really in the world. For one thing, keep in mind Jesus is a Jew speaking to fellow Jews here. Anyways, let's continue: LUKE 37 When Jesus had finished speaking, a Pharisee invited him to eat with him; so he went in and reclined at the table. 38 But the Pharisee was surprised when he noticed that Jesus did not first wash before the meal. 39 Then the Lord said to him, “Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. 40 You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also? 41 But now as for what is inside you—be generous to the poor, and everything will be clean for you. 42 “Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone. 43 “Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and respectful greetings in the marketplaces. 44 “Woe to you, because you are like unmarked graves, which people walk over without knowing it.” 45 One of the experts in the law answered him, “Teacher, when you say these things, you insult us also.” 46 Jesus replied, “And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them. 47 “Woe to you, because you build tombs for the prophets, and it was your ancestors who killed them. 48 So you testify that you approve of what your ancestors did; they killed the prophets, and you build their tombs. 49 Because of this, God in his wisdom said, ‘I will send them prophets and apostles, some of whom they will kill and others they will persecute.' 50 Therefore this generation will be held responsible for the blood of all the prophets that has been shed since the beginning of the world, 51 from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, this generation will be held responsible for it all.” GREGG Let's take a moment to reflect on that last line: “this generation will be held responsible for it all”. It's surprisingly harsh, even for a surprisingly harsh Jesus, for Him to hold the generation he was talking to responsible for all the blood of all the prophets that has been shed from the beginning of the world. But there it is. I can see a case being made for these verses as part of a theological justification for original sin, though really the key verse for that is Romans 5:12, which we'll talk about later. Either way, given the emphasis on “this generation”, I don't think that's what's going on here, as original sin doesn't like, target specific generations. So, what's up? Why is Jesus focusing in on the present generation, at least the present generation as of His lifetime? Well, there's the key. It's His generation. Jesus is there, and all of the sin of history, past, present, and future, will be brought to account through Him. Jesus, as always, is the answer. It's not that the world was especially sinful in the first century AD. But the answer to all sin was walking the earth then. *That* is why it's a generation that deserves a particular singling out. Of course, that reflection- my own theological musing I should say, which is a dangerous thing to do and I defer to any correction that may come my way– anyways that reflection should not detract from the straightforward fact that Jesus is really taking the Pharisees and Teachers of the law to task here LUKE 11 52 “Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering.” 53 When Jesus went outside, the Pharisees and the teachers of the law began to oppose him fiercely and to besiege him with questions, 54 waiting to catch him in something he might say. 1Meanwhile, when a crowd of many thousands had gathered, so that they were trampling on one another, Jesus began to speak first to his disciples, saying: "Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy 2There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 3What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs GREGG Fortunately no one in our day falls into religious hypocrisy anymore, right? …right? Anyways, the next few verses, once again paralleled with Matthew, put things into context, while weaving in hints of future persecution: LUKE 12 4 “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. 5 But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after your body has been killed, has authority to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. 6 Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. 8 “I tell you, whoever publicly acknowledges me before others, the Son of Man will also acknowledge before the angels of God. 9 But whoever disowns me before others will be disowned before the angels of God. 10 And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. 11 “When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, 12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” GREGG After a break for a parable, the overall theme resumes in verse 22: LUKE 12 22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? 27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. 32 “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. GREGG Did you catch one of the most challenging things Jesus says? “Sell your possessions and give to the poor” This isn't the only place Jesus says that, but it hits a little harder when he's giving it as general counsel rather than as specific advice to a rich young man looking for specific advice on how to live well. If you have more than you need, your excess needs to go to those who lack. You will ultimately have to account not only for what you did, but what you didn't do. If you've seen Schindler's List, think of his regret after all he's done, that he didn't sell the car to do more. When your life is done, what regrets will You have? I know I need to do more, part of this project is to remind myself of that and to embarrass myself publicly for my shortcomings. Listen to Jesus' message, don't get hung up on the messenger. A few parables take us forward to verse 49, a source of top notch dad jokes about our matchless king. But Jesus goes beyond that, preaching division. His message is hard, it will not be universally popular. LUKE 12 49 “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! 51 Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. 52 From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” 54 He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It's going to rain,' and it does. 55 And when the south wind blows, you say, ‘It's going to be hot,' and it is. 56 Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of the earth and the sky. How is it that you don't know how to interpret this present time? 57 “Why don't you judge for yourselves what is right? 58 As you are going with your adversary to the magistrate, try hard to be reconciled on the way, or your adversary may drag you off to the judge, and the judge turn you over to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison. 59 I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” LUKE 13 13 Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2 Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? 3 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4 Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” GREGG That excerpt took us into Luke 13, which continues with parables and a miracle until verse 23, which is, frankly, basically the start of another parable, but not one I covered in the parables roundup so we'll do it here. LUKE 13 23 Someone asked him, “Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?” He said to them, 24 “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. 25 Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.' “But he will answer, ‘I don't know you or where you come from.' 26 “Then you will say, ‘We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.' 27 “But he will reply, ‘I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!' 28 “There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out. 29 People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. 30 Indeed there are those who are last who will be first, and first who will be last.” GREGG I recently saw one of the first verses in that passage cited as pointing towards the idea of Hell being full. After all, “many I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to.” Is fairly clear, and even accounting for Jesus' action as the owner of the house, in this and elsewhere ultimately those who are out on the cold are truly out in the cold. As much as I freely admit I don't get the logic of hell being populated, I also freely admit that the idea of it being empty is an exegetical stretch given passages like this. In the end, God reigns and I do not. I know what God asks of me, and I do it. As much as I like to know and to talk, I accept that I don't have and cannot have all knowledge. Anyways, Jesus continues with a lament over Jerusalem we saw in Matthew, which Luke supplies with a little more context: LUKE 13 31 At that time some Pharisees came to Jesus and said to him, “Leave this place and go somewhere else. Herod wants to kill you.” 32 He replied, “Go tell that fox, ‘I will keep on driving out demons and healing people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.' 33 In any case, I must press on today and tomorrow and the next day—for surely no prophet can die outside Jerusalem! 34 “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing. 35 Look, your house is left to you desolate. I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.'” GREGG And now with that note looking to Jesus' future- something he definitely keeps doing throughout the Gospels- we have something of an intermission, because Luke 14, 15, and 16 are all so full of parables that we've already covered along with all of Jesus' words from those chapters. Luke 17 opens with yet another parable, and then a miracle, so we're actually regrouping at Luke 17:20, where Jesus talks about the upcoming kingdom and talks about the end times, always fuel for a discussion, though I am skeptical about how productive such discussions are, given how Jesus opens the discussion by noting that the coming of the kingdom cannot be observed. And really, if there's something you'd be doing differently if you knew the world was ending--honestly that's probably something you should be doing *now*, because your life will end very soon in the grand scheme of things, and you can't rule out today. Anyways, let's resume: LUKE 17 20 Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, 21 nor will people say, ‘Here it is,' or ‘There it is,' because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” 22 Then he said to his disciples, “The time is coming when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man, but you will not see it. 23 People will tell you, ‘There he is!' or ‘Here he is!' Do not go running off after them. 24 For the Son of Man in his day will be like the lightning, which flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other. 25 But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation. 26 “Just as it was in the days of Noah, so also will it be in the days of the Son of Man. 27 People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark. Then the flood came and destroyed them all. 28 “It was the same in the days of Lot. People were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building. 29 But the day Lot left Sodom, fire and sulfur rained down from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 “It will be just like this on the day the Son of Man is revealed. 31 On that day no one who is on the housetop, with possessions inside, should go down to get them. Likewise, no one in the field should go back for anything. 32 Remember Lot's wife! 33 Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it. 34 I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. 35 Two women will be grinding grain together; one will be taken and the other left.” [36] [KJV] 36Two men shall be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left. 37 “Where, Lord?” they asked. He replied, “Where there is a dead body, there the vultures will gather.” GREGG Oh, hope you don't mind me throwing in a little bit more KJV there. I would have announced it in advance but I was kind of on a roll with that transition and didn't want to kill the vibe. I'm no scripture scholar but my guess is the reason the KJV keep having verses the NIV is skipping is because back in the day folks were more reluctant to identify a passage as an addition due to manuscript evidence, you know, just in case. Better safe than sorry. But again, I'm no expert. Now, if I ever do get a budget for this beyond basic hosting fees I do have an expert in mind, so periodic reminder I do have a Popeular Patreon kicking around somewhere. In any event, that's it for Luke 17, and we can basically skip the first half of Luke 18, since that's a couple parables and related stuff we've already addressed. In Luke 18 verse 18, we've got a familiar question, not only familiar because it already came up in both Matthew and Mark, but it's actually already come up in Luke as well, as part of the runup to the parable of the Good Samaritan. That parable was split off from the other synoptics, being present only in Luke despite being extremely famous. But this time around, the passage is a close parallel to both Matthew and Mark. Let's go! LUKE 18 18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.'” 21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said. 22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy. 24 Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God! 25 Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 Those who heard this asked, “Who then can be saved?” 27 Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” 28 Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!” 29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God 30 will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.” GREGG We treated the “eye of the needle” thing almost embarrassingly thoroughly last episode, so refer back to my Mark commentary for detail on that. The ending simply promising a much greater reward for giving things up to follow Jesus is a mild tweak of the “first shall be last” thing we saw concluding this passage in Matthew and Mark, for what it's worth. Next up, Jesus gives the third prediction of his death he's given in Luke: LUKE 18 31 Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them, “We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. 32 He will be delivered over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him and spit on him; 33 they will flog him and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.” 34 The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about. GREGG Jesus predicts his death three times in each of the synoptic Gospels, so that being the third and final prediction is a sign we're getting close. Chapter 18 finishes with a miracle, so we're on to Chapter 19, which opens with the second account of Jesus calling a tax collector to follow him present in Luke. And unlike the call of Matthew slash Levi, this call of Zaccheus is *only* present in Luke. LUKE 19 19 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. 5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. 7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” 8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” 9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” GREGG I mentioned a bit ago we were getting close to the end of things for today, and another sign that we're getting close is that the next thing we get to cover, after skipping another parable, is Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem, which is liturgically covered in the Palm Sunday observances that kick off Holy Week, aka the week leading up to Easter Sunday. Let's hear what Luke has to say, starting at verse 28: LUKE 19 28 After Jesus had said this, he went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem. 29 As he approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, 30 “Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. 31 If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?' say, ‘The Lord needs it.'” 32 Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. 33 As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?” 34 They replied, “The Lord needs it.” 35 They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. 36 As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road. 37 When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen: 38 “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!” 39 Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!” 40 “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” 41 As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42 and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43 The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44 They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God's coming to you.” 45 When Jesus entered the temple courts, he began to drive out those who were selling. 46 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be a house of prayer'; but you have made it ‘a den of robbers.'” 47 Every day he was teaching at the temple. But the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the leaders among the people were trying to kill him. 48 Yet they could not find any way to do it, because all the people hung on his words. GREGG From the classic handwaive of “the master has need of it” to the admittedly brief account of Jesus driving the moneychangers out of the Temple, there's a lot of good stuff in there, but nothing especially new, all things we basically saw in Matthew and Mark. Similarly, the opening verses of Luke 20 are also close parallels of the other synoptic gospels. But hey, you know the drill, let's hear Luke tell it: LUKE 20 One day as Jesus was teaching the people in the temple courts and proclaiming the good news, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, together with the elders, came up to him. 2 “Tell us by what authority you are doing these things,” they said. “Who gave you this authority?” 3 He replied, “I will also ask you a question. Tell me: 4 John's baptism—was it from heaven, or of human origin?” 5 They discussed it among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,' he will ask, ‘Why didn't you believe him?' 6 But if we say, ‘Of human origin,' all the people will stone us, because they are persuaded that John was a prophet.” 7 So they answered, “We don't know where it was from.” 8 Jesus said, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.” GREGG The next few verses are taken up by the Parable of the Talents, so we'll skip that and go on to more close synoptic parallel passages starting in Verse 20. If you're wondering, we're parallelling Matthew 22 and Mark 12 here: LUKE 20 20 Keeping a close watch on him, they sent spies, who pretended to be sincere. They hoped to catch Jesus in something he said, so that they might hand him over to the power and authority of the governor. 21 So the spies questioned him: “Teacher, we know that you speak and teach what is right, and that you do not show partiality but teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. 22 Is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” 23 He saw through their duplicity and said to them, 24 “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?” “Caesar's,” they replied. 25 He said to them, “Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's.” 26 They were unable to trap him in what he had said there in public. And astonished by his answer, they became silent. GREGG Yes, as you'll recall, giving God what is God's means giving God everything, but at the same time, like, pay your taxes. The parallels continue with the next section LUKE 20 Some of the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Jesus with a question. 28 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 29 Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless. 30 The second 31 and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. 32 Finally, the woman died too. 33 Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?” 34 Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, 36 and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection. 37 But in the account of the burning bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord ‘the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.' 38 He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.” 39 Some of the teachers of the law responded, “Well said, teacher!” 40 And no one dared to ask him any more questions. 41 Then Jesus said to them, “Why is it said that the Messiah is the son of David? 42 David himself declares in the Book of Psalms: “‘The Lord said to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand 43 until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”' 44 David calls him ‘Lord.' How then can he be his son?” GREGG Yes, all closely paralleling Matthew 22 and Mark 12 still, both of which we've discussed. For what it's worth, John is going to be something quite different. In any event, the last bit of Luke 20 is absent from Matthew, only parallelled in Mark 12: LUKE 20 45 While all the people were listening, Jesus said to his disciples, 46 “Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. 47 They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. These men will be punished most severely.” GREGG Luke 21 opens with another section we that we didn't see in Matthew but covered in Mark, namely the Widow's Offering: LUKE 21 As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. 2 He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 3 “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. 4 All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” GREGG I do love the message there, namely that God sees and accounts for effort when it comes to our actions, including our giving. Like I said, the Widow's Offering was in Mark too so I went into some more detail last episode. As the chapter continues, the parallels with Matthew resume, now in Matthew Chapter 24, and Mark 14. Overall the theme is the end times, fairly appropriate given the transition to the Passion that will come in the next chapter LUKE 21 Some of his disciples were remarking about how the temple was adorned with beautiful stones and with gifts dedicated to God. But Jesus said, 6 “As for what you see here, the time will come when not one stone will be left on another; every one of them will be thrown down.” 7 “Teacher,” they asked, “when will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are about to take place?” 8 He replied: “Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am he,' and, ‘The time is near.' Do not follow them. 9 When you hear of wars and uprisings, do not be frightened. These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away.”
https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/ultraviolet-light-reveals-scientists-hidden-bible-passage-1500-years-later (for Luke) Unique passages: https://www.julianspriggs.co.uk/pages/UniquePassages Bibleref.com commentary on Mark 6:5: https://www.bibleref.com/Mark/6/Mark-6-5.html Thanks Biblehub.com's parallel chapters tool. Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures") https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1 The Eye of the Needle (crossword/sudoku feedback): https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-25583,00.html#:~:text=The%20%22Eye%20of%20the%20Needle,in%20order%20to%20enter%20heaven Camel needle w/Aquinas citation (of Anselm of Canterbury)-- Anselm of Canterbury as cited in Catena Aurea, Thomas Aquinas, CCEL Edition. https://classictheology.org/2021/10/12/through-the-eye-of-an-actual-needle-the-fake-gate-theory/ The Widow's Mite: https://numismatics.org/pocketchange/the-poor-widows-mite/ Miracles of Jesus reference list: https://sunnyhillschurch.com/3301/the-37-miracles-of-jesus-in-chronological-order/ LINK BIBLEREF.COM MENTIONED IN CHAPTER 8 SECTION (“Can't” do miracles in hometown- keyword absolute for lookup) Welcome to the Popeular History Podcast: History through Pope Colored Glasses. My name is Gregg and this is episode 0.21f: Sayings of the Savior Part VI: Messages from Mark. All of these aught episodes are made to let us build our Pope-colored glasses so we can use the same lenses when we look at history together. If you're lost, start at the beginning! In previous worldbuilding episodes, we looked at quite a few of Jesus' words: the sermon on the mount and the sermon on the plain, plus all the Parables and miracles on our list, and his sayings closely tied to all those. All that made for a good start, but if we're going to look at the sayings of the Savior, we should be comprehensive to avoid cherry-picking. So we spent the last of these worldbuilding episodes going chapter by chapter through the first gospel in order of appearance, the Gospel of Matthew, up until things caught up with where our rosary themed tour of the New Testament will carry on when we get to the next mystery. I am aware that what was once upon a time supposed to be a couple quick background episodes introducing my listeners to, well, all of Catholicism has ballooned wildly into wheels within wheels, but hey, I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyways, next up in the traditional ordering is the Gospel of Mark, so that's our mission today. We'll go chapter by chapter, glossing over what we've already discussed and focusing on the Sayings of the Savior, since, you know, that's the deal here. MARK 1 opens with a description of Jesus' cousin John the Baptist, and you'll never guess what John does to Jesus when He shows up. Actually you probably will because I was trying to set you up with a fake out where John refuses to baptize Jesus but it turns out that initial refusal is in Matthew but is absent from Mark's generally sparse account. Anyways, we get Jesus' first words in Mark only after he's baptized and had an express version of the temptation in the desert. Sometime after John was arrested, we're told Jesus preached a message that sounded a lot like what John had been saying, MARK 1:15 “The time has come,” … “The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!” GREGG Of course we just got a bit meta, since “Good news” is where the word Gospel comes from. A very “Begun, the Clone Wars have” moment. This urgent call to repentance has been a consistent refrain throughout Christian history, with the good news bring that repentance really can lead to reconciliation with God. Shoutout 0.1 if you need a refresher on why such a reconciliation is needed in the Catholic perspective. Having begun to declare the Good News, Jesus the Christ soon picks out folks to help him, starting, like all good missions, with a pun. Talking to two fishermen, the brothers Simon and Andrew, Jesus says MARK 1: Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men GREGG When I covered this section in Matthew- we're deep in parallels here- I stuck with my usual NIV translation. Not because I'm an NIV snob, but because the New International Version is the one that shows up first on biblegateway.com and it's good enough, especially when I'm doing a LOT of scripture quoting like I have been with this series. But because the NIV went for inclusivity, they translated the line as “make you fish for people”, which simply isn't as smooth a pun. I did check with my toddler-level skills and it looks to me like the pun is present in the Greek, so it's worth calling out. Jesus' humor is often downplayed, which is a shame. If you're wondering why I'm going on about this, well, honestly, Mark is short and we've already covered most of what's there in Matthew. So we might as well take our time. There's plenty there, to be clear, I don't want angry letters from scholars whose primary focus is Mark saying I'm dismissing it offhand. Alright, enough dilly dallying, what's next? Jesus calls more fishermen–the sons of Zebedee, James and John–but His actual words and possible new pun are not recorded. The next time he speaks he's talking to a demon in one of the healing miracles we discussed in 0.20, followed by another miracle–the healing of Simon's mother in law–later in the same chapter. Then, after assorted other miracles, Jesus goes out to pray by Himself in what's described as a quote unquote “desolate place”. When His disciples track Him down and tell Him everyone is looking for Him, He says MARK 1:38 Let us go somewhere else--to the nearby villages--so I can preach there also. That is why I have come. GREGG Though Jesus' disciples did in fact say no to Him on a downright alarming number of occasions, they went along with His plan this time, and another montage of undescribed healings and exorcisms finishes off with the healing of a grateful leper who ignores Jesus' command to tell no one. Mark 1 concludes with Jesus getting mobbed with requests for miracles as a result. Chapter 2 opens with the healing of the paralytic who had been let in via the roof–a great bit of drama, but something we already covered under our review of miracles. After that, He called His tax collector disciple, who we got to know as Matthew in the Gospel of, well, Matthew, but who's listed as Levi here and in Luke. Using different names in different contexts was absolutely a thing, but both Matthew and Levi are Hebrew names so the usual Greek vs Hebrew divide doesn't seem to be the culprit here, and what's more neither Mark nor Luke explicitly identify Levi with the apostle Matthew, though the inference isn't a terrible reach over all. In the end, our main hook in this particular series is the actual sayings of the Savior, and this calling is carried out with a simple “follow me”, so perhaps we shouldn't dive into it too much. After taking out a section of parables we covered in 0.21c as part of a SYNOPTIC ROUNDUP, we arrive at Mark 2:23, notably without leaving the SYNOPTIC ROUNDUP room because you can also follow along in Matthew 12 and Luke 6. As a reminder if you're rusty on Jewish customs, the Sabbath rest begins Friday at sundown and continues through the day on Saturday. Picking grain as we're going to see here would be considered working on the day of rest and therefore a violation. MARK (2:23-2:28, NIV)) 23 One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain. 24 The Pharisees said to him, "Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?” 25 He answered, "Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? 26 in the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions." 27 Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. 28 So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.” GREGG this section is one of the earlier signals of what would become a core piece of Christianity: its distancing from the Law of Moses. There are still aspects of continuity, for example most Christians including Catholics actually do still maintain *a* day of rest, just Sunday rather than Saturday and they'll generally skip the night before business though some of that has carried over in the form of vigil practices, as we'll see when we get there. Anyways, I've always thought those last couple lines were pretty baller, and it turns out they're one of the few bits unique to Mark, so let's go ahead and hear them again: QUOTE The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath. END QUOTE This bold claim lies at the heart of what will in time lead to the followers of Christ being seen as a religion separate from Judaism, which is fair enough but also don't sleep on just how much that takes, given there's such a thing as secular Jews and Jewish atheists. There have been other messiah movements in Jewish history; though they fizzled out it's not much of a stretch to imagine a world where Christianity is still seen as part of a wide tent Judaism, indeed there is still a common heritage. But there are absolutely differences as well, principally, of course, centered around Jesus, the Son of Man, Lord of the Sabbath. That other part “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” is the context for the start of the next chapter, serving as a good reminder that, while convenient for finding your place, chapter and verse divisions are not part of the original texts of the Bible, so it's important to not treat them as fences where you have to stop. You see, in Mark 3 we have the healing of the man with a withered hand in the synagogue on the Sabbath: MARK 3 2 Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. 3 Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Stand up in front of everyone.” 4 Then Jesus asked them, "Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they remained silent. GREGG I mean, it's a bit of a false dichotomy perhaps, are those really the only two options? But obviously I'm siding with Jesus here, mark me down as pro-healing when one can heal. And yeah, we actually already covered that exchange when we talked about the miracle in our miracles roundup, but the words are important there and Mark is short so forgive me for fitting it in here too. Mark 3 continues with Jesus dealing with crowds now that word is getting around due to His miracles, and simultaneously He's ordering demons not to share the apparent secret that He is quote “the holy one of God”. We don't have his exact words in commanding the demons here so there's more room for interpretation than usual but the general take on these sort of passages is that it's tied to His time not having yet come to be revealed as the Messiah. Of course, unless I missed something, the specific instances where Jesus talks about His time having not yet come are in the Gospel of John, so reading that into Mark is something most modern scholars wouldn't go for- especially since the general consensus is Mark came first by a fair stretch- but that sort of quibble wasn't much of a barrier for most of the history of Christians reflecting on Scripture, so the traditional interpretation is what it is and I don't think it's too much of a reach. After telling assorted demons to hush up, Jesus appoints the Twelve Apostles starting in verse 13, no direct quotes there so no need to tarry though interested folks are always welcome to check out the naming differences between the Gospels. Starting in verse 20 we have the house divided parable, covered in our parables series a few episodes back, then in verse 28 we hit “the unpardonable sin” section, and believe it or not it's not being a weeb, it turns out it's, well, let's let Jesus explain: MARK 3 28 Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, 29 But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin." GREGG When we covered the parallel text of this in Matthew 12–seriously, over 90% of Mark is parallelled in Matthew–I focused on the idea of the sin against the Spirit as being despair. But Mark's telling has a bit of context that has lead to another popular interpretation, especially among–Catholics cover your ears– *whispers* Protestants. MARK 3 30He said this because they were saying, "He has an impure spirit.” GREGG Using that verse, which at a glance is simply explaining why Jesus said what He said, the passage is taken to mean that rejecting Jesus as the Son of God slash Savior slash Messiah is the sin against the Spirit being referred to here. And though I called out Protestants specifically a minute ago, it's not like that interpretation is unheard of within Catholicism, typically it's a both/and sort of thing, accepting the despair angle and the “ya'll need Jesus” angle. Nor are the two interpretations unrelated, as someone wholly given to despair will have a hard time accepting Jesus' offer of salvation. Of course, when I speak of accepting Jesus' offer of salvation, now I really AM getting into the fundamental faith vs works discussion. That's faith and works in the context of salvation from sin. We'll be getting into it in more detail in future episodes, but as an overview all major forms of Christianity agree that faith in the saving power of Jesus Christ is fundamentally necessary for salvation. The disagreement comes in whether anything else plays any role- “anything else” being summed up under the umbrella term of “works”, or it might help to rephrase the question as whether our actions have any meaning when it comes to our salvation. For Catholics, the answer is yes, while for most Protestants, the answer is no. Generally speaking when there are fights about it, Protestants will take the position that your works having meaning, as Catholics argue is the case, means that you can save yourself through your works. Some people do think that, of course, but not Catholics, at least not Catholics who know their onions, as the Catholic Church condemned that position as a heresy over thousand years before Protestantism became a thing. However, the Church is far from perfect, and in the time of Martin Luther, whose teachings are typically seen as the spark that ignited the Protestant Reformation, it's clear that some within the Church were comfortable blurring the lines for financial gain. I've got more on faith vs works and Catholicism vs Protestantism planned for future episodes, and I don't want to bury that conversation where no one will look for it, so let's leave that there for now and get back to Mark, with chapter 3 verse 31 to 35 MARK 31 Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” 33 "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked. 34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother.” GREGG Thanks to the Marian doctrine of Our Lady's perpetual virginity we discussed back in episode 0.14, the surprising fact that Jesus doesn't immediately attend to his family members isn't the most discussed aspect of this passage when it comes to Catholicism. No, that would be the fact that Jesus' brothers, the Greek term is Adelphoi, show up. Generally these are understood as Jesus' half brothers, via his earthly father Saint Joseph from a previous marriage. As for the question of whether Jesus just kind of blew off his family here, half brothers or cousins or full brothers or whoever was there with Mary, while I can see how you might get that impression, it's not like His every action is recorded. It's entirely possible that He checked in with them after making a quick positive observation- one that I don't want to lose in the rest of this analysis so I'll repeat it: MARK 3 “35 Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother.” GREGG Anyways, as is the custom with Mark, we're on to the next scene in a hurry, launching into Mark 4 with the next verse as a classic transition: MARK 4 1 Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. GREGG I'm not going to go into detail about what He taught by the lake here, because Chapter 4 is made up entirely of miracles and parables we've already covered in 0.20 and earlier in 0.21, respectively. We've got the Parable of the Sower, then the Lamp on a Stand, then the Growing Seed and the Mustard Seed, capped off by Mark's account of Jesus calming the storm at sea. Similarly, Mark 5 is a string of by-now familiar miracles- and if any don't seem familiar you know by now Miracles are in one of the 0.20 episodes, right? The Gerasene Demoniac, the Bleeding Woman, Jairus' Daughter, they're all there, and in Mark 5 too. Mark 6 give us a bit more food for thought on Jesus' local life and family dynamic. A sign of how things hit differently at home, it's worth a long quote: MARK 6:1-6 6 Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. 2 When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. “Where did this man get these things?” they asked. “What's this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? 3 Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. 4 Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” 5 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6 He was amazed at their lack of faith. GREGG Many of Jesus' sayings have become proverbial, and while it's not in the level of turning the other cheek, “a prophet is not without honor except in his own town” has some popularity. It does seem to speak to a common truth of celebrities. I do like the touch that He was unable to do any miracles there except for the miracles which He did do, which evidently still failed to impress. Of course, the idea of Jesus being *unable* to do miracles is theologically interesting, since He's, you know, God. Of course, God does seem to have had some trouble dealing with iron chariots back in Judges 1:19, so maybe there is some precedent. But we've got our Pope-colored glasses on, so not only is Jesus God but God is omnipotent, so it's fair to ask: what gives? It could be that old favorite, the translation issue, but I admit my personal Greek skills are basically at the naming barnyard animals level, so I decided to bring in an expert to verify. An expert by the name of bibleref.com, linked in the show notes. Their commentary on the passage notes that in the parallel passage in Matthew, it simply says Jesus “did not” perform many miracles in his hometown, which isn't as controversial though of course it's always fair to ask why God doesn't just fix everything for everyone since he's all good and all knowing and all powerful. But that popular question isn't where we're at today because apparently it's not a translation issue, Mark 6:5 does specifically say Jesus *could not* perform the miracles in the Greek according to the commentary. But it goes on to note that there can be multiple senses of inability, like how you can't touch the ball when playing soccer, or football for my non-US listeners, and yeah, I'm not counting goalies. Anyways, obviously you can physically touch the ball, but you cannot in the sense that it's against the established rules of the game. If that's the sense, it makes some sense that Jesus quote unquote “can't” perform miracles in His hometown because His miracles are supposed to draw people to Him and they aren't having that effect at home. At least not much, keep in mind he did do some miracles there according to Mark, so in any event the whole “can't” thing definitely isn't absolute. Of course, I personally find it awful to think that God would play games with our salvation- hence my quasi-universalism. I get respecting our free will, but I also know He's omnipotent and isn't going to give up on us, no matter how much we try to give up on ourselves if there's another chance we can get He's going to give that to us. But we have to accept at some point, so don't think I'm downplaying the urgency there. Anyways, let's get back to Mark 6, now in Verse 8 where He's sending the disciples out in pairs with the following instructions: MARK 6:8-11 8 Take nothing for the journey except a staff--no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. 9 Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. 10 Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. 11 And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” GREGG As you should by now have come to expect, these instructions do have a parallel in Matthew that we covered in the last worldbuilding episode. But it's not as close a parallel as you might think. Often, as we've talked about before, parallels in the synoptic gospels are so close that you'd get dinged for plagiarism, with maybe a word being changed here or there. But here, it basically reads like two different people were told to write down a speech shortly after they finished hearing it. Which, I mean, matches tradition, for what it's worth. The most obvious difference is that Mark's telling skips Matthew's bit about only going to Jewish households, forbidding visits to Gentiles or Samaritans. Though as we've seen Mark's Jesus was already laying the groundwork for some serious reframing of Mosaic Law by taking on the title of Lord of the Sabbath, I think on the whole it's more likely that in Mark's account that's simply taken as a given and perhaps left off for brevity rather than this being a separate incident or its absence being a sign that the disciples were to ignore those cultural barriers at this stage. The rest of Mark 6 is taken up by his narrative of the death of John the Baptist, where, unusually for the Gospels, Jesus is offstage, and then there's two banner miracles, the Feeding of the 5000 and Jesus walking on water. Which brings us to Mark 7, which has Jesus… let's see… excoriating the Jewish authorities… then calling a woman a dog… and let's not forget giving someone a wet willy. Don't believe me? Let's go. MARK 7 1The Pharisees and some of the teachers of the law who had come from Jerusalem gathered around Jesus 2and saw some of his disciples eating food with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed. 3(The Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they give their hands a ceremonial washing, holding to the tradition of the elders. 4When they come from the marketplace they do not eat unless they wash. And they observe many other traditions, such as the washing of cups, pitchers and kettles.) 5So the Pharisees and teachers of the law asked Jesus, "Why don't your disciples live according to the tradition of the elders instead of eating their food with defiled hands?” 6He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: "'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. 7They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.' 8You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” 9And he continued, "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions! 10For Moses said, 'Honor your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.' 11But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is Corban (that is, devoted to God)-- 12then you no longer let them do anything for their father or mother. 13Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that.” GREGG Note that while there's a close parallel between these passages and Matthew 15, Mark is apparently much more concerned with explaining Jewish custom to his audience, suggesting the intended audience is not Jews themselves. The rest of the chapter we've covered before, from the Parable of the Heart of Man to the two miracles that give the tibits I teased earlier. Jesus calls the syrophoenician woman a dog in the runup to healing her servant, and he totally heals a deaf guy via wet willy at the end of the chapter. But I already covered both of those in 0.20c, so check them out there for more. So that means we're on to Chapter 8, which opens with… another miracle! Turns out Jesus did a lot of those! Who knew? That's the feeding of the four thousand, but you know the drill, we're skipping that and on ahead to verse 12, where Jesus is responding to a group of Pharisees asking for a sign. MARK 8:12 He sighed deeply and said, "Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to it." GREGG Ok. Remembering that by a sign here they mean a miracle, we've got the guy known for working miracles getting annoyed at requests for miracles. Why? You'd think He'd be all about that. Is it another sort of hometown situation, where folk's lack of faith is an impediment? Well, kind of sort of. But not quite. In the parallel passage from Matthew 16, which I admit I kind of glossed over last time because I was excited to get to the Papally significant Matthew 16:18, Jesus calls those asking for a sign “a wicked and adulterous generation”, which can help explain why Jesus is refusing the request–after all even in Mark's shorter version their motives are implicitly questioned, with Jesus asking why they're asking for a sign. The typical interpretation goes that Jesus is refusing the request for a sign because the Pharisees have the wrong *motives* in asking. Unlike those in His hometown, they seem to believe Jesus can work miracles, but they just want to see a show, they aren't interested in Jesus' message beyond that. And Jesus for His part, is interested in signs *for the sake of* His message, He isn't there to entertain. These various passages that show Jesus specifically not working miracles could be taken to suggest some embarrassment by the authors about Jesus' miracles not being as renowned as they would like, forcing them to give explanations for why that's the case. I can definitely picture some neckbeard arguing if God wanted to make everyone believe he'd make miracles known to all and be undeniable. Which is a reasonable enough thought except unless God removes free will, there's never going to be such a thing as undeniable anyways. In the next few verses, Jesus warns against the teachings of the Pharisees and Herod. Though technically the “teachings” part isn't spelled out in Mark, so it could be He's actually meaning to go in another direction with things than He does in Matthew's version, though I think their teaching or at least their general influence is His most likely target. Let's hear it and regroup after. MARK 8 14-15 14The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. 15"Be careful," Jesus warned them. "Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” GREGG Certainly He isn't talking about literal bread, as is evidenced from His reaction. Also, it's interesting that Mark warns against Herod's yeast specifically, while Matthew leaves Herod off in favor of tossing in the Sadducees to accompany the Pharisees. If Mark is the rougher, earlier version as most scholars currently argue–and as I'm inclined to believe looking at the two side by side these last few months–then it seems like one can argue Matthew's account has been modified to perhaps be a little more authority-friendly in this case, keeping in mind the Herodians were the client-kings in charge of the area in Jesus' day. Check out 0.13 on the Hasmoneans for more on that. After a miracle interlude–healing the blind man in a two-step process where the miracle is evidently incomplete at first–a fairly intriguing Mark-only one that is arguably sanitized out of other accounts, but one we already covered so I'm not getting back into it today– anyways after that we hit Mark's account of Peter's testament, you know, with the binding and loosing and the keys and all that. Except actually *without* all that in Mark's version. Here's the whole exchange as Mark tells it: MARK 8:27-30 27Jesus and his disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way he asked them, "Who do people say I am?” 28They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.” 29"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" Peter answered, "You are the Messiah.” 30Jesus warned them not to tell anyone about him. GREGG Like I said, not a key in sight. Peter does give the critical answer, but none of what would become the principal text for the Papacy is presented here. And again, if you consider Mark as the older account, as most scholars do, it's fair to raise an eyebrow at that. Yet in the end, one way or another, we have a Pope, and I do think there's something to be said for the unifying force of the role. After all, if no one is Pope, then everyone is Pope. But I digress. Of course, poor Peter can only wish he were simply downplayed in Mark 8. The reality is he does pop up again later in the chapter, in a familiar but unflattering way: MARK 8:31- 31He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. 32He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 33But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan!" he said. "You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” GREGG So there you go. If you want to make a case for the Pope not always being right, there's an easy one. Not everyone gets called Satan by, well, God. Of course, there's a surprising amount of room where you can accept Papal Infallibility *and* the idea that the Pope isn't always right, but we'll get to that in time. The chapter finishes with Jesus reflecting on what his stated fate means for his followers, and it's, uh, not the cheeriest image. It bleeds into chapter 9 so don't put your Bible down too quickly If you're following along. MARK 8:34-9:1 34Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? 37Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 38If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels. CHAPTER 9 1And he said to them, "Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see that the kingdom of God has come with power. GREGG Goodness, Jesus, it's hard for me to keep my running joke of treating the Crucifixion as a spoiler when you're literally telling your disciples to take up their crosses before it actually happens. Oh well. Mark 9 continues with The Transfiguration, but like I mentioned in our Matthew discussion, that's it's own mystery of the rosary that we haven't gotten to yet, so pardon me and I'll skip that here too. After that, we have a miracle- the boy with an unclean spirit that can only be driven out by prayer and fasting. So on to verse 30, where we have more talk of the upcoming Passion: MARK 9:30-32 “30They left that place and passed through Galilee. Jesus did not want anyone to know where they were, 31because he was teaching his disciples. He said to them, "The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.” 32But they did not understand what he meant and were afraid to ask him about it. GREGG Jesus was speaking pretty plainly here, so it's not immediately clear why the disciples didn't understand what Jesus meant, but it's probably related to the way Jesus keeps telling folks either to talk or not to talk about things. There's definitely a focus on pacing the spread of the Good News throughout the Gospels, especially in Mark, and it seems like a supernatural barrier to the Apostles' understanding here would fit in with that. The fear of asking is more easily explained: if someone you know is really good at making predictions and you're pretty sure they just predicted something awful, you may well be hesitant to confirm that with them. Being hesitant to talk about stuff with Jesus carries us into the next few verses, where Jesus apparently puts His omniscience to good use in a wonderfully passive-aggressive way: MARK 9: 33-35 33They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, "What were you arguing about on the road?" 34But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest. 35Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.” GREGG The first will be last is one of Jesus' recurring themes, and the whole “I'm-pretty-sure-I-heard-you-but-since-you-won't-confirm-I'm-just-going-to-respond-indirectly approach reminds me of dealing with the drama of children, though I suppose a lot of things remind me of interacting with children these days given my current life situation, and that approach is not necessarily one that exclusively applies to children. Either way, Jesus does bring children into the conversation as His next move. MARK 9:36-37 36He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, 37"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.” GREGG That passage is one of the more often-remembered portions of the Gospels, in part because it's in all three synoptics [air horn], but also in part because it's a handy pastoral lesson to push back on folks who might complain about the presence of children in worship services. As they say, if no one in your church is cryin', it's dyin'. Next up we have some verses you might wish had been left off if you've ever gotten tired of hearing “in Jesus' name” a lot: MARK 9:38-41 38"Teacher," said John, "we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” 39"Do not stop him," Jesus said. "For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, 40for whoever is not against us is for us. 41Truly I tell you, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to the Messiah will certainly not lose their reward. GREGG Personally I'm thankful for that passage, because I'm a big supporter of ecumenism and cooperation, and “whoever is not against us is for us” is an immensely helpful sentiment in that context. For the next section, where Jesus gets pretty intense, there are several verses that simply aren't present in my go-to NIV version, presumably for bible nerd manuscript reasons. Now, the point of the Sayings of the Savior series is to make sure we cover *everything* Jesus said in the canonical scriptures, and those verses are speaking lines for Jesus, so that won't do. Thankfully the King James version has us covered, so I'm going to switch to that for those verses. So you can tell the difference easily, I'll be switching to a guest narrator as well. Lebron James hasn't responded to my calls, so the King James Version of the King James Version will have to wait, but my brother has come in clutch for podcast purposes. PJHERE MARK 9:42-48 42"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea. 43If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. [NIV leaves off verse 44 “44Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.”-KJV] 45And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. [NIV leaves off verse 46 “46Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.”-KJV] 47And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, NIV leaves off verse 48 “48Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.”-KJV] GREGG So yeah, by “verses” I kind of meant “one verse used as a refrain”, but it's officially verses 44, 46, and 48, so I am technically correct, which I'm told is the best kind of correct. Thanks to the reference to “leading little ones astray”, the great millstone imagery has had some use in response to the sexual abuse crisis, though the most commonly cited of these evocative instructions is plucking out the eye, thanks in no small part to the frequency of admonitions against pornography in the online era. Cutting off the hand is also referenced, while I think most folks if they're being honest won't even necessarily recall cutting off the foot is among the scenarios mentioned. Anyways, Jesus finishes this section with a few salty verses that initially bear a strong resemblance to Matthew 5:13- the salt of the earth bit from the Sermon on the Mount. I'm thinking I might have actually pointed these verses out when I was going over that due to the similarity, but just in case, here they are: MARK 9:49-50 49Everyone will be salted with fire 50"Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” GREGG “Have salt among yourselves” is an unusual turn of phrase, the typical interpretation of this Mark-only phrase is that Christians are supposed to bring out the best in one another, the way salt brings out the best in food. We're now entering Mark 10, which- surprise surprise, has close parallels to Matthew 19 and 20. I'm not going to give the Matthew sections as a side by side, partly because we've already covered them independently, partly because this episode is already going to be one of my longest despite Mark being the shortest Gospel. But it's worth giving it a thorough treatment since scholars tend to think it's the oldest and also because if I'm going to go all-out it might as well be with the shortest of the bunch. You know, for efficiency. Anyways… MARK 10:1-12 1Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. 2Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3"What did Moses command you?" he replied. 4They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 7For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 10When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” GREGG This version of Jesus' teaching on marriage and divorce notably does not include the exception for adultery we saw in Matthew's account. Additionally where Matthew focused on Eunuchs for the kingdom–and other kinds of Eunuchs–Mark concluded with that extra condemnation of divorce, with remarriage as adultery. In the next passage, the conversation changes direction: MARK 10:13-16 13People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them. GREGG We'll meet the Church Father who was allegedly one of the children in this scene as we go about our big timeline, once we get through this worldbuilding and go into that. But for now, it's time for one of the most inconvenient passages in the Gospels, at least if you're rich. MARK 10:17-31 17As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.'” 20"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy.” 21Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. 23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” 24The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” 26The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?” 27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” 28Then Peter spoke up, "We have left everything to follow you!” 29"Truly I tell you," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel 30will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields--along with persecutions--and in the age to come eternal life. 31But many who are first will be last, and the last first.” GREGG There is a surprisingly thorough and ranging discussion of the whole “eye of the needle” bit in the digital edition of the British newspaper The Guardian, in the Nooks and Crannies section of their Notes and Queries page. Which I think makes it the most random thing I've cited here, but hey, it's got it all so let's get a sampling going: First, the original query: The Guardian.com “I recently read that one of the gates into Jerusalem was named "The Eye of the Needle," and was quite tricky to negotiate, since it was quite small. Does this mean that when Jesus said "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven," He meant that, far from being impossible, it was merely tricky?” Dara O'Reilly, London, UK GREGG The first reply is a fairly representative take on the gate theory: GUARDIAN The interpretation that seems to make sense is this. The "Eye of the Needle" was indeed a narrow gateway into Jerusalem. Since camels were heavily loaded with goods and riders, they would need to be un-loaded in order to pass through. Therefore, the analogy is that a rich man would have to similarly unload his material possessions in order to enter heaven. Rick, Brighton Uk GREGG But then the plot thickens, as William Elsom of the UK is having none of it: GUARDIAN No. The failure is in the translation. The original word that should have been translated was "camella" which means rope. (presumably Greek, but I am open to this being corrected.) "It is easier for a rope to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven" makes more sense as a comparison. William Elsom, UK GREGG There's something of a scholarly telephone game going on in the background, as basically every “mistranslation” take offers a variation on the root word and apparent correct meaning. Which is fairly normal for translations especially when there are different alphabets involved, but still, I chuckled. GUARDIAN I am currently studying the Aramaic language and indeed the word "gamla" (transliterated) does mean both "camel" and "thick rope." Assuming the original manuscript with that teaching of Jesus was recorded in Aramaic and later translated to Greek, the translator may have been familiar with only the "camel" definition of the word. I have not been able to find any reliable information on a city gate called "The Eye of the Needle." -Xakk, FL USA GREGG As much as I hate agreeing with someone who spells Zach Xakk–though presumably that's a choice his parents made– anyways as much as I hate to admit it, this overall take seems the most likely to this non-Aramaic specialist. The general meaning is still the same, it's not something you're going to get done. It's also worth noting that at least as of the return from the Exile, if the Book of Nehemiah is to be believed, there was no “Eye of the Needle” gate in Jerusalem. And I can state that with confidence because as longtime listeners will recall, I had a whole special episode devoted to the topic from July 2020 entitled “Literally A Detailed Description of the Gates of Jerusalem and Who Fixed Them in the Time of Nehemiah”, which, despite being exactly what it says it is, has been a pretty popular episode. In any event, it *could* be that an Eye of the Needle gate was established at a later point, though really the whole gate thing feels like wishful thinking on the part of the rich or the would-be rich to me. Of course, as you might expect, there are also literalists who agree it's wishful thinking and would rather cut to the chase. Plus people like my man David: GUARDIAN The translation is irrelevant. We all know in our hearts we cannot love money above God. David Porter, Orangevale, US GREGG Let's conclude with my favorite take: GUARDIAN “Blessed are the cheesemakers?” Mike Conn, San Francisco, GREGG After the second Gate-Gate scandal we've come across in this show (shoutout Samson if you've forgotten), we arrive at Jesus' third prediction of His own death in Mark MARK 10:32-34 32They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him. 33"We are going up to Jerusalem," he said, "and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles, 34who will mock him and spit on him, flog him and kill him. Three days later he will rise.” GREGG Mark gives no record of the Apostles' reaction to this third prediction, unless the next verse is the actual reaction, which is a hilarious thought because it would be shockingly tone deaf. But yeah, it's the very next verse without any transition except the word “then”, so you can certainly read it that way: MARK 10:35-45 35Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. "Teacher," they said, "we want you to do for us whatever we ask.” 36"What do you want me to do for you?" he asked. 37They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.” 38"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” 39"We can," they answered. Jesus said to them, "You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, 40but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.” 41When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. 42Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. GREGG It turns out James and John, the Sons of Zebedee, have massive… cojones. But in the end their reward is understood to be martyrdom–perhaps not what they had in mind, they certainly seem to have had more of an earthly kingdom in mind. In any event, here we have more of the “first will be last” motif popping up, and Scriptural background for why the Pope is considered, at least in theory, the “Servant of the Servants of God”. Mark 10 finishes up with the healing of the blind Bartimaeus, so it's on to Mark 11, with Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem: MARK 11:1-11 1As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage and Bethany at the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two of his disciples, 2saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and just as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. 3If anyone asks you, 'Why are you doing this?' say, 'The Lord needs it and will send it back here shortly.'” 4They went and found a colt outside in the street, tied at a doorway. As they untied it, 5some people standing there asked, "What are you doing, untying that colt?” 6They answered as Jesus had told them to, and the people let them go. 7When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. 8Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. 9Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted, "Hosanna!" "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” 10"Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!" "Hosanna in the highest heaven!” 11Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts. He looked around at everything, but since it was already late, he went out to Bethany with the Twelve. GREGG We'll talk more about Palm Sunday in the future, for now just know that this scene is the basis for that. It's also a sign that Jesus is approaching the end of His earthly ministry, though we've still got another couple chapters for today after we finish this one. We'll skip verses 12-14 as that's the cursing of the fig tree we covered under miracles--and that's right, it's a non-healing miracle. At least His target is a tree and not a human as happens in some of the apocrypha. Which brings us to Mark's version of the scene with the moneychangers in the Temple: MARK 11:15-18 15On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, 16and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. 17And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written: 'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations'? But you have made it 'a den of robbers.'” 18The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him, for they feared him, because the whole crowd was amazed at his teaching. 19When evening came, Jesus and his disciples went out of the city. GREGG Mark's somewhat abbreviated account leaves off Him making a whip, which is a loss, but hey, the core is there. As a reminder, and yes, I'll say this every time, just remember when someone asks “what would Jesus do” that flipping tables is absolutely a valid option. Then, we're back to the fig tree, seeing the result of the curse on the way out, and this is extra special because this is actually an extended Mark only reflection. Including another King James specific verse that the NIV leaves off. Let's hear it! MARK 11:20-26 20In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. 21Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!” 22"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. 23"Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." [NIV omits but KJV has] 26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.] GREGG Of course, when I said “Mark exclusive”, that may have been a bit of an oversell, because while the now-proverbial “faith to move mountains” doesn't appear in Matthew's fig tree discourse, it does line up closely to another section, Matthew 17:20, several chapters before Matthew's fig tree. As for the rest, the sentiment is overall familiar, but worth repeating so I'll say it again: MARK 11:25-26 if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." [NIV omits but KJV has] 26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.] GREGG Next up we've got an attempted trap that Jesus turns around, Bugs Bunny style. MARK 11:27-33 27They arrived again in Jerusalem, and while Jesus was walking in the temple courts, the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders came to him. 28"By what authority are you doing these things?" they asked. "And who gave you authority to do this?” 29Jesus replied, "I will ask you one question. Answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. 30John's baptism--was it from heaven, or of human origin? Tell me!” 31They discussed it among themselves and said, "If we say, 'From heaven,' he will ask, 'Then why didn't you believe him?' 32But if we say, 'Of human origin' . . . " (They feared the people, for everyone held that John really was a prophet.) 33So they answered Jesus, "We don't know." Jesus said, "Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things." GREGG Mark 12 opens with the Parable of the Tenant Farmers, which I personally prefer to call the Parable of the Bad Tenants since I think just calling them farmers ignores the amount of murdering they do in the parable. But anyways, we're not covering it here, ‘cause parable. So on to Verse 13: MARK 12:13-17 13Later they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to Jesus to catch him in his words. 14They came to him and said, "Teacher, we know that you are a man of integrity. You aren't swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not? 15Should we pay or shouldn't we?" But Jesus knew their hypocrisy. "Why are you trying to trap me?" he asked. "Bring me a denarius and let me look at it.” 16They brought the coin, and he asked them, "Whose image is this? And whose inscription?" "Caesar's," they replied. 17Then Jesus said to them, "Give back to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." And they were amazed at him. GREGG This tax exchange, which we saw in Matthew and we'll see again in Luke (SYNOPTIC ROUNDUP AIRHORN?) is intended to be a sort of sting operation, with the expected result being Jesus objecting to the tax and therefore being guilty of rebellion against the Roman government. But I don't think Jesus even needed to tap into His omniscience here, they were acting pretty suspicious with the leading flattery and line of questioning. Plus, what does God ultimately need money for? In the end, of course, everything we have ultimately comes from God, so while I mentioned it with Matthew it's worth mentioning again now- when we give Caesar what is Caesar's and God what is God's, God gets everything. Next up we've got Jesus fielding yet another insincere question from religious authorities, this time from the Sadducees: MARK 12:18-27 18Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19"Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?” 24Jesus replied, "Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 26Now about the dead rising--have you not read in the Book of Moses, in the account of the burning bush, how God said to him, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!” GREGG That last bit– “You are badly mistaken!” is a Marcan flourish that helps emphasize Mark's generally less Pharisee-slash-Sadducee–friendly stance, underlining the intensity of Jesus' disagreement with them. The next section is the part about The Greatest Commandment which we used to open the Sayings of the Savior, so check out 0.21a for that. Then we have a theological question apparently designed to further undermine the Credibility of the Teachers of the Law. This time around, it's Jesus who picks the fight, MARK 12:35-40 35While Jesus was teaching in the temple courts, he asked, "Why do the teachers of the law say that the Messiah is the son of David? 36David himself, speaking by the Holy Spirit, declared: "'The Lord said to my Lord: "Sit at my right hand until I put your enemies under your feet."' 37David himself calls him 'Lord.' How then can he be his son?" The large crowd listened to him with delight. 38As he taught, Jesus said, "Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, 39and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. 40They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. These men will be punished most severely.” GREGG “The large crowd listened to him with delight”, we're told, as Jesus excoriated the religious establishment of His day. Sounds like a political rally almost. No wonder He was condemned as a revolutionary. The last scene in Mark 12 is one we haven't seen before- it's one of the few passages in Mark not paralleled in Matthew- and it's one of my favorites: MARK12:41-44 41Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. 43Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything--all she had to live on.” GREGG This scene is generally called the Widow's Mite, not because “mite” was the term for small copper coins in ancient Judea–though they would retroactively be called mites–and not because the mite was the term for small copper coins in 17th century England where the King James Bible was produced, though they would pick up that name, but rather because the King James translation used a Dutch term for some small denomination coins that had originally been picked up for Biblical use by William Tyndale. For once, I'll spare you a deeper rabbit hole, and move on from the names of coins to the lesson of the coins. I mentioned before this passage is one of my favorites. While I appreciate the challenge behind Jesus' admonition to be perfect that we saw in Matthew, here we see that if all you have isn't much, God still sees the effort and meaningful sacrifice. There's something comforting in that for extremely inadequate folks like myself. On the other hand, there's the lesson that giving out of your abundance may be mathematically and physically helpful but it's not spiritually significant. It's the right thing to do, of course, but an even better thing than giving your excess is to give beyond just your excess. “But I need the rest”, you might argue. And it's certainly true, you may well have just reasons for keeping some aside. It would be irresponsible of me to sell all my worldly possessions and go live in a cave, as even if my wife signed onto it we've got kids too young to voluntarily renounce the world, it's our responsibility to care for them. So, where's the line? When do we go from taking care of our responsibilities at home to hoarding? Well, if you have any money, you should be giving. It doesn't have to be all you have, especially if you've got responsibilities to those in your household, but it should absolutely be more than nothing, and everything is best. Ultimately Christians are not to see money as theirs to use how they see fit, as something they've earned. That simply isn't a Christian mentality. Money is a means by which you can help others–those you have primary responsibility for first, like your children, and those in need should be prioritized urgently as well. The Church speaks of the “preferential option for the poor”. I'm not saying you need to become a shell of a human, doing nothing for yourself and allowing your own mental and physical health to collapse- though certainly some saints lives point in that direction. But putting yourself first is something that needs to be balanced against your ability to be a blessing to those around you. This isn't the last time I'll bring up this sort of thing by any means, and it looks like I avoided one tangent only to go into another, so let's get back to Mark, now in Chapter 13, which opens with a prophesy of the destruction of the Temple, then flows into a description of the End Times– keep in mind from the Christian perspective time has not only a beginning but an end–that parallels Matthew. It's understandable to want to read this as being written after the actual historical destruction of the Temple in 70AD, but as I argued in my chat with Garry Stevens last June, it's not like it was hard to see such a calamity coming during Jesus' life, Rome was already in control of a rebellious Judea with the Temple as a potential center of nationalist resistance. And that's of course if you discount the possibility of actual prophecy, which, remember, we're making our Pope-colored glasses, so Jesus actually prophesying Is the most straightforward explanation. Either way, a post 70AD dating for Mark is really pushing the outward edge of scholarly dating for the work, keeping in mind scholars tend to argue it's the oldest of the Gospels. Without further ado, here's a long quote, going from Mark 13:1 to 27. MARK 13 1As Jesus was leaving the temple, one of his disciples said to him, "Look, Teacher! What massive stones! What magnificent buildings!” 2"Do you see a
The disciples asked Christ, who will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven-- They were always jockeying for the best positions, sometimes to the point of embarrassment---They did this because they viewed the kingdom in terms of earthly kingdoms, where there were positions of power and prestige close to the king. How do we get into those slots in the kingdom of heaven----Jesus commences to disabuse them of this false view. He presents to them a little child, and tells them that unless they be converted, and become as little children, they could not enter into the kingdom---But the disciples had prevented little children from coming to Jesus, and had been rebuked by the Savior for doing so.--They looked on little children as a burden and hindrance to the work of the kingdom, because they still considered the kingdom an earthly one.--But Jesus informed them that -of such little children is the kingdom of God-- Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom as a little child, shall not enter therein.--Some people falsely believe that Christ is teaching that all little children go to heaven, but this view completely misses Christ's meaning---Christ is asserting that all who would enter the kingdom must come to Him- All must trust in Jesus- Christ makes it clear, that God's jealousy and protection is for those little children who believe in Jesus---All must come to Christ as little children. This does not mean that older people must be literally converted back to small children physically.--Rather, Jesus is using physical little children as a picture of the spiritual -little children- who will make up the kingdom of God.
The disciples asked Christ, who will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven-- They were always jockeying for the best positions, sometimes to the point of embarrassment---They did this because they viewed the kingdom in terms of earthly kingdoms, where there were positions of power and prestige close to the king. How do we get into those slots in the kingdom of heaven----Jesus commences to disabuse them of this false view. He presents to them a little child, and tells them that unless they be converted, and become as little children, they could not enter into the kingdom---But the disciples had prevented little children from coming to Jesus, and had been rebuked by the Savior for doing so.--They looked on little children as a burden and hindrance to the work of the kingdom, because they still considered the kingdom an earthly one.--But Jesus informed them that -of such little children is the kingdom of God-- Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom as a little child, shall not enter therein.--Some people falsely believe that Christ is teaching that all little children go to heaven, but this view completely misses Christ's meaning---Christ is asserting that all who would enter the kingdom must come to Him- All must trust in Jesus- Christ makes it clear, that God's jealousy and protection is for those little children who believe in Jesus---All must come to Christ as little children. This does not mean that older people must be literally converted back to small children physically.--Rather, Jesus is using physical little children as a picture of the spiritual -little children- who will make up the kingdom of God.
Big Idea: Proper understanding of sin should bring shame, and realization of forgiveness should bring gratitude and LOVE. Jesus came to save sinners Pride keeps many from believing on Jesus All believers have been forgiven much How long have you been a Christian? In almost every church are: Older Christians…
#REHASH Okay—we're all adults here— (Everyone nods, yesses in agreement) —except deadmau5. He's like 5. I have a name. Does anyone care? Okay, ouch. Oh, he feels! ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever. Lol. I drank a lot in the third trimester. He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune. Who the fuck are his parents? JOEL Not it. Brand new turnkey apartment Post near, food floor all that Way way higher than the fourth floor All that Way way higher than your front door All that Wow, How I've always been needed And never been loved Moog Grandmother Ableton Push 2 Pioneer Model One {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Yo, what the fuck. TESLA. Ok. *COUGHS* What the fuck. *morevgross, obnoxious coughing* Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt. TESLA. Okay, I don't— T E S L A OH. Wow. So it is the satellites. ELONNNNN. …hm? GET IN HERE. where is that, . AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT. GET IN HERE. I don't even believe the rain, these days “We can make it rain”, he says Storm warning A good morning A door's open, This one's closing, though I'm not bc all cold yet, But it's a cold world No free rides No clean ice No free girls Honestly, I'm bored with the world, Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs, And songs shared, But no long walks in the park, In a nightmare— It's not fair I'm not there in the head; I'm not near, I'm not a parent apparently, either— But a light bearer Slight chance of a fight there, A right wing, a left deer Another dead bird on a wire —I like her. Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?! I don't know. INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū Someone's always watching you Don't know who, but yea, it's true There's someone always watching you and everything you do I say “Illu- Illu- Illuminate me Turn the light on Turn me on, baby Woah, “Have I been here before— Do you know what I do? They know not what they do They know not what they do! I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu I'm not on the bottom floor, I'm way I'm up above you But you— I'm way, I'm way up to I say “I love you” I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illu Illu SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER, BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK? YEAH. YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!! (Not the roc! ) NO. Well, why not?! BECAUSE, F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY. Aw, seriously? Why's it cencored all of a sudden NBC SHUT IT DOWN. Look, I can't talk to you. —?! OKAY, that's it. What is it I am WISHING you out of my existence. Is that it? That is it. That's your wish. YES. You're wishing me away. Yes. Ok. Ok. [beat] ( —wait— “OK”? Ok. Wish granted. —that's it? That is it, Jimmy Fallon. —ok. Ok. So when are you leaving? I was never here. You—what? *dissappears entirely from existence* JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room. CUT TO: You smell like vinegar. Lol that's not the next scene, but ok. Don't you see this is bigger than you! It's bigger than all of us! Exactly. C'mon, wake the fuck up! I am up! This is a DREAM. It's an illusion. The whole I'N HUBGRY. THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM POLICE. HALT. Lol. Fuck that. Did he just say “halt” Fuck that. Bye. EXIT THE LOOP. OOPS, we missed the exit. GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON. —Uh, — EFF YOU. Im not about this This is weird What level is this. We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning. Did you laugh. Well, I certainly did something. Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū. What! They're not. What, they're not? They're not. They're looking for Uptown A. Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A” Oh? The Uptown A. Yeah— I guess. Just—go that way. Ok. Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know! How do you know what I want to know? Whatever you want! I haven't even told your, yet. Whatever it is, I'll tell you. Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all— Well, thank you. But you're not funny. Excuse me. Like, at all. What. You—are not a funny guy. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? I don't know! You don't KNOW?! This is what they want. Here [tosses the thing] What's this. What they want. Oh. K JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history. What the fuck, dude. JIMMY FALLON Did I do it right? Uhhh. JIMMY FALLON You know? Hit and run Okay, Jimmy. Flglelwgheleehhhh. Oh my God. Wow. Did I DO it. NO— —but I tried— Just— A-for effort. It was F. For Failure. But I tried. Trying doesn't count. Just let me— Look. Fleghelegfffff. Jimmy! Lemme— No' stop it! Just— —flglelf— —STOP. Eh? Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting. But I'm a shapeshifter. No, no you're really not. Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar. Where do you wanna go Wherever you go. Where do I go. Take a right. What's this way. What's this. Stop there. Okay. Now take a left. Okay.. Now take a right. But this is the. Right there. What, right here? Right there. Ok. I need you to hold onto this a little while longer. What. For what. You'll see. Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude. It's ********. He's just a dude. So what gives. I don't know. I told her to do what she wants. She wants you to die. We are similar. She's prettier. Okay? Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already. I did. And yet, here we are. I'm the only one here. Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room. That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant? Just you. What am I gonna do with this? Burn it. Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea. Oh, like when you sold your soul? WHAT? I haven't done that... yet… Sure you have! Lots of times. What the fuckare you talking about? Whose talking? The Universe? What'd she say? She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.” Aww. How sweet. Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening? I should go to sleep. Are you even tired? No, just useless. You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis. He seems busy. If a grown man can be a romantic, Like I am This is the promised land No looking back-- "I have to have that" Back to reality; I see now, how a woman's like a hat Just a thing, An unneeded accessory, Like jewelry; To wear it, It must be a match Not just average, Accentuates or masks Whatever it is what you have, And you have so many that It doesn't matter. What is he after? He has everything Most likely just using me to bring these Creatures to life If he needs a wife, she's Probably staring back at me, Through the back of the camera; Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies A fallacy A back handed chance at a handsome Has been; But he'll never been had like that, He has everything, But he could have more than that, He can have anything, And he has, he's Magic or something or Mad at me for taking so long but, I've been in the world of monsters, Reeling; Oh what a horrible feeling I'm dealing with being unappealing and Peeling potatoes, which Remind me of me, cause Kenny Powers middle name is White, Like Walter, I'm just trying to find The alter to sell away something inside, I'm dying; Or at least I'd like to I've Tried a dozen times I'd smile if I had the time-- Remind me, what it is again It isn't comprehensive, But I'm out of my element-- And the elephant in the room is named Skrillex, Or Dillon Francis, Or Timmy Trumpet, Or, Fuck It-- I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be Cause I'm awfully ugly, And no one wants to play with me But hey, Maybe it's just a mistake Its just no one speaks my language Comunication is limited I'm sitting in the back of the short bus Discussing this with my imaginary elephant, But that's irrelevant to the White rinocerous in front of the bus with trust issues bigger than the rest of us We're following you. I see that. Yes—what did you see? Hm. I didn't, Where are you now? Wherever you say. What's the cadence? What's a “cadence?” Don't be ridiculous. Maybe I'm not. Who are you? What's a “who?” Horton Heard One. What about Penelope? Who is that? Elephants Are conscious. What is consciousness? What is “income tax”? Don't be funny. If I'm not, I'm just scary. “El Negra” I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible GOD DID REMIX Oh you gotta love it Oh you gotta love it; I could take a minute to spit What God did— (But God doesn't) IMm⏱ I'm just not feeling it today; Not feeling l creative; I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating All the complications; Hm. I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind Maybe I try to find Direct like to divine, if Money is time make, Both of em mine Gotta be my own boss, No matter what it costs; Keep the deposit, I count all of my losses and move on, Cause I got to; I drop a rock from the top of The Rock, Right on to you— The difference in luck and a blessing Is just what God can do And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you I'm like “This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū” How you make a 8 minute song In 2021? Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking “Something is wrong” But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won The only problem is the war is my own; The only problem is I got a lot problems— Then I asked God for help, And God gave me a dollar— Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted I said “I Wanna know what God did” Damn. That's a long ass story And Goddamn, It never gets boring, And God damn, The world is still at war, And it can't even a afford it, But it's still so busy working You ask me which direction this is going, I say four; North, West, South and East You too busy two-dimensional In a 4-dimension based in 3s Some people living in the streets, And some with nothing to eat, And you been working from home Eating nothing but meat, And wiping your ass with nothing but trees And I guess it's on repeat, Till we ain't got nothing to eat What we need is a peace treaty, Or maybe just to understand peace, Because the love and unity— But it's respect that we need —Supacree See things Do Come Around And make Sense Eventually They say till death do us part But death don't bother me All that I am Is all that I was And all that I ever will be So if you ask what God Did I might just say “Me” Find beauty in simplicity I can take the devil out the kitchen sink And wring em our while I'm finishing It's just another day to me, It's just another Christmas Eve If you believe in Jesus This isn't funny anymore Everything is Skrillex And nothing is Skrillex Everything is asinine And no one is Sonny Extraordinary sightseeing Nothing is normal Everywhere to escape to With a guilty conscience Bad credit karma Bad regrets and sad faces Always falling in love with our opposites More of the bad things, Less in good graces Everyone's a DJ I'm just a blind space kid A recruit wishing to be a cadet A teenager in the basement with a Two Tom drum set And no kickdrum Caught inside a snare pattern Lips stitched together like a scarescrow Or a raggedy Annie Caught in a psychic state of trance Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies? You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait. … Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out. So, you want to be like everyone else? No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot. You just want to be hot? Fuck yes I want to be hot. That's it. That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it. So...you want to be a shitty person. No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament. So? So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life-- Not with that attitude! THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi If walls could talk, They probably wouldn't still, Just stand in shock and awe And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all, Because I'd fall, And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call, I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk, No need to call, you're right beside me Loving al the fatal flaws, I try to hide, But there's no hiding When you really are in love Between my thighs, a lie A snakebite, scars I hate So thanks, I really haven't changed at all This heart, as heavy as it's going to be has everything i'll ever need, So leave me, just leave quietly I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming Almost leaving everything behind But I'm reminded why I wish the world was colorblind And just the way that I can't like What my eyes don't find to be Aligned with what attractive means Might be the way you think of me Or anybody, really, But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess With the confidence of not a single molecule The hottest, not by far, or even father I just want to have a family, I just want to raise a daughter And another, and it's awful Poverty is all but lost And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this “Oh, that's just the way it is”, But really they're just stuck on What is “Stupid”? Stupid means to just do everything For nothing and if “unfair” Means “I gpt iit from my” Whatever inheritance is. DIPLO, you dipshit. I told you. I had to! Now, we're fucked. We're not fucked— —you're all FUCKED— I told you. Welp, my bad. I hate you. No you don't. WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?! I'm not here. He's right here. That's not funny. Let me see— Fuck this shit. WHERE'S MY HERO? I don't know… YOU DO KNOW. I know music… I AM MUSIC. ...I know you. WHERE IS IT? ...I lost it… WHERE IS— THOMAS? [asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus? GET IN HERE. [in an apron] I'm right here. Dillon Francis: that's my apron. Suck my dick. Watch the language! Sorry, my love— —thank you, Jesus— EAT MY COCK. That's much better. You are evil! Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ) Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends) Now I think back on the old days (old days) Nobody could even lend a hand Now everybody want a hand out (hand out) But I guess I gotta put my foot down Making hella money, I'm a cash cow Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd I'm a King, they put me in a big crown But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown Royal, I am royalty, they now down I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth Now— I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now— “Wow!” I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now I am a superstar DJ DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”, Lol how are we still writing about him. Idk, fuck it. 48 hours from now, I could find you 48 hours from now, I just might-- 48 hours from now, I'll remind you How many times I've died How many times i've found the light; How many times ive been confided in, Guiding all my All my All my-- objective//subjective I am love. You're counting cards, I'm counting calories, I love to dream, it's just a fantasy i need to find the other half of me To make this life and start a family (a family.) I woke up at 1:15 (again) At 1:15 (Again) At 1:15 (again I woke up at 1:15 His eyes are green; Her eyes are green What does this mean? Slit my wrists Bite my tongue It's been this way sinceI was yung I give my life I give my blood I'll rest when every song is sung I love my bed way more than my mom loves me, It is wrong, is it wrong; and again-- Should I worry? INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals Lover-Son-Brother Bound and shackled, Sewn with silver strands I am Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney Believe it I'm leavin Some friends for a season And some shouldn't have even Make like a tree and leave, then Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons Reading grievances from people just like me Believe it Alien Abduction Automatic Writing Confabulation Satanic Ritual Abuse John Locke George Tobias Ludwig Sachs Solomon Shereshevsky Photisms ...what the fuck kind of poem is that? Singapore Slovakia Romania Turkey Mexico Uzbekistan Guatemala Ecuador Luxembourg Indonesia Francis Galton Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.” ST∆rT I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War 0v3r. BPM: they don't really care about us. You look like a red light Standing in the friendzone, so Give me the spotlight I'll take over, t-over-over I want the limelight I'll show ya, s-show ya, show ya You can read a mind, right? Let's take the world over, d- Over over, d-over Over over, d-over Over over, d-over Take a pic, Move over, over Over over, d-over D-over, d-over-over D-over, d-over-over D-over, d-over-over They starting a race war They starting a race war They starting a race war I ain't for it They starting a race war They starting a race war They starting a race war Starting with Kayla Lauren Aww, aren't you adorable Open the door and then Close it up for her; This is your future This is dystopia You were not good enough You are not good enough She does it by the book, without a thought If God is awesome, she must have forgot something Huh They started us all on it Blondes against others The girl next door was the Was the one Was the one Was the one Was the one I wonder what ugly funny person comes In the Damn, I forgot how to spell denumire D-E-N-Ū-M-I-R-E That means ———————— [flatline] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Okay—we're all adults here— (Everyone nods, yesses in agreement) —except deadmau5. He's like 5. I have a name. Does anyone care? Okay, ouch. Oh, he feels! ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever. Lol. I drank a lot in the third trimester. He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune. Who the fuck are his parents? JOEL Not it. Brand new turnkey apartment Post near, food floor all that Way way higher than the fourth floor All that Way way higher than your front door All that Wow, How I've always been needed And never been loved Moog Grandmother Ableton Push 2 Pioneer Model One {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Yo, what the fuck. TESLA. Ok. *COUGHS* What the fuck. *morevgross, obnoxious coughing* Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt. TESLA. Okay, I don't— T E S L A OH. Wow. So it is the satellites. ELONNNNN. …hm? GET IN HERE. where is that, . AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT. GET IN HERE. I don't even believe the rain, these days “We can make it rain”, he says Storm warning A good morning A door's open, This one's closing, though I'm not bc all cold yet, But it's a cold world No free rides No clean ice No free girls Honestly, I'm bored with the world, Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs, And songs shared, But no long walks in the park, In a nightmare— It's not fair I'm not there in the head; I'm not near, I'm not a parent apparently, either— But a light bearer Slight chance of a fight there, A right wing, a left deer Another dead bird on a wire —I like her. Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?! I don't know. INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū Someone's always watching you Don't know who, but yea, it's true There's someone always watching you and everything you do I say “Illu- Illu- Illuminate me Turn the light on Turn me on, baby Woah, “Have I been here before— Do you know what I do? They know not what they do They know not what they do! I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu I'm not on the bottom floor, I'm way I'm up above you But you— I'm way, I'm way up to I say “I love you” I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illu Illu SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER, BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK? YEAH. YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!! (Not the roc! ) NO. Well, why not?! BECAUSE, F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY. Aw, seriously? Why's it cencored all of a sudden NBC SHUT IT DOWN. Look, I can't talk to you. —?! OKAY, that's it. What is it I am WISHING you out of my existence. Is that it? That is it. That's your wish. YES. You're wishing me away. Yes. Ok. Ok. [beat] ( —wait— “OK”? Ok. Wish granted. —that's it? That is it, Jimmy Fallon. —ok. Ok. So when are you leaving? I was never here. You—what? *dissappears entirely from existence* JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room. CUT TO: You smell like vinegar. Lol that's not the next scene, but ok. Don't you see this is bigger than you! It's bigger than all of us! Exactly. C'mon, wake the fuck up! I am up! This is a DREAM. It's an illusion. The whole I'N HUBGRY. THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM POLICE. HALT. Lol. Fuck that. Did he just say “halt” Fuck that. Bye. EXIT THE LOOP. OOPS, we missed the exit. GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON. —Uh, — EFF YOU. Im not about this This is weird What level is this. We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning. Did you laugh. Well, I certainly did something. Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū. What! They're not. What, they're not? They're not. They're looking for Uptown A. Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A” Oh? The Uptown A. Yeah— I guess. Just—go that way. Ok. Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know! How do you know what I want to know? Whatever you want! I haven't even told your, yet. Whatever it is, I'll tell you. Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all— Well, thank you. But you're not funny. Excuse me. Like, at all. What. You—are not a funny guy. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? I don't know! You don't KNOW?! This is what they want. Here [tosses the thing] What's this. What they want. Oh. K JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history. What the fuck, dude. JIMMY FALLON Did I do it right? Uhhh. JIMMY FALLON You know? Hit and run Okay, Jimmy. Flglelwgheleehhhh. Oh my God. Wow. Did I DO it. NO— —but I tried— Just— A-for effort. It was F. For Failure. But I tried. Trying doesn't count. Just let me— Look. Fleghelegfffff. Jimmy! Lemme— No' stop it! Just— —flglelf— —STOP. Eh? Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting. But I'm a shapeshifter. No, no you're really not. Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar. Where do you wanna go Wherever you go. Where do I go. Take a right. What's this way. What's this. Stop there. Okay. Now take a left. Okay.. Now take a right. But this is the. Right there. What, right here? Right there. Ok. I need you to hold onto this a little while longer. What. For what. You'll see. Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude. It's ********. He's just a dude. So what gives. I don't know. I told her to do what she wants. She wants you to die. We are similar. She's prettier. Okay? Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already. I did. And yet, here we are. I'm the only one here. Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room. That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant? Just you. What am I gonna do with this? Burn it. Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea. Oh, like when you sold your soul? WHAT? I haven't done that... yet… Sure you have! Lots of times. What the fuckare you talking about? Whose talking? The Universe? What'd she say? She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.” Aww. How sweet. Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening? I should go to sleep. Are you even tired? No, just useless. You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis. He seems busy. If a grown man can be a romantic, Like I am This is the promised land No looking back-- "I have to have that" Back to reality; I see now, how a woman's like a hat Just a thing, An unneeded accessory, Like jewelry; To wear it, It must be a match Not just average, Accentuates or masks Whatever it is what you have, And you have so many that It doesn't matter. What is he after? He has everything Most likely just using me to bring these Creatures to life If he needs a wife, she's Probably staring back at me, Through the back of the camera; Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies A fallacy A back handed chance at a handsome Has been; But he'll never been had like that, He has everything, But he could have more than that, He can have anything, And he has, he's Magic or something or Mad at me for taking so long but, I've been in the world of monsters, Reeling; Oh what a horrible feeling I'm dealing with being unappealing and Peeling potatoes, which Remind me of me, cause Kenny Powers middle name is White, Like Walter, I'm just trying to find The alter to sell away something inside, I'm dying; Or at least I'd like to I've Tried a dozen times I'd smile if I had the time-- Remind me, what it is again It isn't comprehensive, But I'm out of my element-- And the elephant in the room is named Skrillex, Or Dillon Francis, Or Timmy Trumpet, Or, Fuck It-- I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be Cause I'm awfully ugly, And no one wants to play with me But hey, Maybe it's just a mistake Its just no one speaks my language Comunication is limited I'm sitting in the back of the short bus Discussing this with my imaginary elephant, But that's irrelevant to the White rinocerous in front of the bus with trust issues bigger than the rest of us We're following you. I see that. Yes—what did you see? Hm. I didn't, Where are you now? Wherever you say. What's the cadence? What's a “cadence?” Don't be ridiculous. Maybe I'm not. Who are you? What's a “who?” Horton Heard One. What about Penelope? Who is that? Elephants Are conscious. What is consciousness? What is “income tax”? Don't be funny. If I'm not, I'm just scary. “El Negra” I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible GOD DID REMIX Oh you gotta love it Oh you gotta love it; I could take a minute to spit What God did— (But God doesn't) IMm⏱ I'm just not feeling it today; Not feeling l creative; I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating All the complications; Hm. I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind Maybe I try to find Direct like to divine, if Money is time make, Both of em mine Gotta be my own boss, No matter what it costs; Keep the deposit, I count all of my losses and move on, Cause I got to; I drop a rock from the top of The Rock, Right on to you— The difference in luck and a blessing Is just what God can do And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you I'm like “This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū” How you make a 8 minute song In 2021? Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking “Something is wrong” But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won The only problem is the war is my own; The only problem is I got a lot problems— Then I asked God for help, And God gave me a dollar— Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted I said “I Wanna know what God did” Damn. That's a long ass story And Goddamn, It never gets boring, And God damn, The world is still at war, And it can't even a afford it, But it's still so busy working You ask me which direction this is going, I say four; North, West, South and East You too busy two-dimensional In a 4-dimension based in 3s Some people living in the streets, And some with nothing to eat, And you been working from home Eating nothing but meat, And wiping your ass with nothing but trees And I guess it's on repeat, Till we ain't got nothing to eat What we need is a peace treaty, Or maybe just to understand peace, Because the love and unity— But it's respect that we need —Supacree See things Do Come Around And make Sense Eventually They say till death do us part But death don't bother me All that I am Is all that I was And all that I ever will be So if you ask what God Did I might just say “Me” Find beauty in simplicity I can take the devil out the kitchen sink And wring em our while I'm finishing It's just another day to me, It's just another Christmas Eve If you believe in Jesus This isn't funny anymore Everything is Skrillex And nothing is Skrillex Everything is asinine And no one is Sonny Extraordinary sightseeing Nothing is normal Everywhere to escape to With a guilty conscience Bad credit karma Bad regrets and sad faces Always falling in love with our opposites More of the bad things, Less in good graces Everyone's a DJ I'm just a blind space kid A recruit wishing to be a cadet A teenager in the basement with a Two Tom drum set And no kickdrum Caught inside a snare pattern Lips stitched together like a scarescrow Or a raggedy Annie Caught in a psychic state of trance Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies? You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait. … Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out. So, you want to be like everyone else? No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot. You just want to be hot? Fuck yes I want to be hot. That's it. That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it. So...you want to be a shitty person. No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament. So? So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life-- Not with that attitude! THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi If walls could talk, They probably wouldn't still, Just stand in shock and awe And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all, Because I'd fall, And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call, I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk, No need to call, you're right beside me Loving al the fatal flaws, I try to hide, But there's no hiding When you really are in love Between my thighs, a lie A snakebite, scars I hate So thanks, I really haven't changed at all This heart, as heavy as it's going to be has everything i'll ever need, So leave me, just leave quietly I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming Almost leaving everything behind But I'm reminded why I wish the world was colorblind And just the way that I can't like What my eyes don't find to be Aligned with what attractive means Might be the way you think of me Or anybody, really, But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess With the confidence of not a single molecule The hottest, not by far, or even father I just want to have a family, I just want to raise a daughter And another, and it's awful Poverty is all but lost And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this “Oh, that's just the way it is”, But really they're just stuck on What is “Stupid”? Stupid means to just do everything For nothing and if “unfair” Means “I gpt iit from my” Whatever inheritance is. DIPLO, you dipshit. I told you. I had to! Now, we're fucked. We're not fucked— —you're all FUCKED— I told you. Welp, my bad. I hate you. No you don't. WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?! I'm not here. He's right here. That's not funny. Let me see— Fuck this shit. WHERE'S MY HERO? I don't know… YOU DO KNOW. I know music… I AM MUSIC. ...I know you. WHERE IS IT? ...I lost it… WHERE IS— THOMAS? [asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus? GET IN HERE. [in an apron] I'm right here. Dillon Francis: that's my apron. Suck my dick. Watch the language! Sorry, my love— —thank you, Jesus— EAT MY COCK. That's much better. You are evil! Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ) Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends) Now I think back on the old days (old days) Nobody could even lend a hand Now everybody want a hand out (hand out) But I guess I gotta put my foot down Making hella money, I'm a cash cow Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd I'm a King, they put me in a big crown But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown Royal, I am royalty, they now down I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth Now— I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now— “Wow!” I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now I am a superstar DJ DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”, Lol how are we still writing about him. Idk, fuck it. 48 hours from now, I could find you 48 hours from now, I just might-- 48 hours from now, I'll remind you How many times I've died How many times i've found the light; How many times ive been confided in, Guiding all my All my All my-- objective//subjective I am love. You're counting cards, I'm counting calories, I love to dream, it's just a fantasy i need to find the other half of me To make this life and start a family (a family.) I woke up at 1:15 (again) At 1:15 (Again) At 1:15 (again I woke up at 1:15 His eyes are green; Her eyes are green What does this mean? Slit my wrists Bite my tongue It's been this way sinceI was yung I give my life I give my blood I'll rest when every song is sung I love my bed way more than my mom loves me, It is wrong, is it wrong; and again-- Should I worry? INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals Lover-Son-Brother Bound and shackled, Sewn with silver strands I am Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney Believe it I'm leavin Some friends for a season And some shouldn't have even Make like a tree and leave, then Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons Reading grievances from people just like me Believe it Alien Abduction Automatic Writing Confabulation Satanic Ritual Abuse John Locke George Tobias Ludwig Sachs Solomon Shereshevsky Photisms ...what the fuck kind of poem is that? Singapore Slovakia Romania Turkey Mexico Uzbekistan Guatemala Ecuador Luxembourg Indonesia Francis Galton Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.” ST∆rT I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War 0v3r. BPM: they don't really care about us. You look like a red light Standing in the friendzone, so Give me the spotlight I'll take over, t-over-over I want the limelight I'll show ya, s-show ya, show ya You can read a mind, right? Let's take the world over, d- Over over, d-over Over over, d-over Over over, d-over Take a pic, Move over, over Over over, d-over D-over, d-over-over D-over, d-over-over D-over, d-over-over They starting a race war They starting a race war They starting a race war I ain't for it They starting a race war They starting a race war They starting a race war Starting with Kayla Lauren Aww, aren't you adorable Open the door and then Close it up for her; This is your future This is dystopia You were not good enough You are not good enough She does it by the book, without a thought If God is awesome, she must have forgot something Huh They started us all on it Blondes against others The girl next door was the Was the one Was the one Was the one Was the one I wonder what ugly funny person comes In the Damn, I forgot how to spell denumire D-E-N-Ū-M-I-R-E That means ———————— [flatline] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
Okay—we're all adults here— (Everyone nods, yesses in agreement) —except deadmau5. He's like 5. I have a name. Does anyone care? Okay, ouch. Oh, he feels! ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever. Lol. I drank a lot in the third trimester. He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune. Who the fuck are his parents? JOEL Not it. Brand new turnkey apartment Post near, food floor all that Way way higher than the fourth floor All that Way way higher than your front door All that Wow, How I've always been needed And never been loved Moog Grandmother Ableton Push 2 Pioneer Model One {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Yo, what the fuck. TESLA. Ok. *COUGHS* What the fuck. *morevgross, obnoxious coughing* Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt. TESLA. Okay, I don't— T E S L A OH. Wow. So it is the satellites. ELONNNNN. …hm? GET IN HERE. where is that, . AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT. GET IN HERE. I don't even believe the rain, these days “We can make it rain”, he says Storm warning A good morning A door's open, This one's closing, though I'm not bc all cold yet, But it's a cold world No free rides No clean ice No free girls Honestly, I'm bored with the world, Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs, And songs shared, But no long walks in the park, In a nightmare— It's not fair I'm not there in the head; I'm not near, I'm not a parent apparently, either— But a light bearer Slight chance of a fight there, A right wing, a left deer Another dead bird on a wire —I like her. Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?! I don't know. INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū Someone's always watching you Don't know who, but yea, it's true There's someone always watching you and everything you do I say “Illu- Illu- Illuminate me Turn the light on Turn me on, baby Woah, “Have I been here before— Do you know what I do? They know not what they do They know not what they do! I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu I'm not on the bottom floor, I'm way I'm up above you But you— I'm way, I'm way up to I say “I love you” I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illu Illu SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER, BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK? YEAH. YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!! (Not the roc! ) NO. Well, why not?! BECAUSE, F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY. Aw, seriously? Why's it cencored all of a sudden NBC SHUT IT DOWN. Look, I can't talk to you. —?! OKAY, that's it. What is it I am WISHING you out of my existence. Is that it? That is it. That's your wish. YES. You're wishing me away. Yes. Ok. Ok. [beat] ( —wait— “OK”? Ok. Wish granted. —that's it? That is it, Jimmy Fallon. —ok. Ok. So when are you leaving? I was never here. You—what? *dissappears entirely from existence* JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room. CUT TO: You smell like vinegar. Lol that's not the next scene, but ok. Don't you see this is bigger than you! It's bigger than all of us! Exactly. C'mon, wake the fuck up! I am up! This is a DREAM. It's an illusion. The whole I'N HUBGRY. THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM POLICE. HALT. Lol. Fuck that. Did he just say “halt” Fuck that. Bye. EXIT THE LOOP. OOPS, we missed the exit. GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON. —Uh, — EFF YOU. Im not about this This is weird What level is this. We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning. Did you laugh. Well, I certainly did something. Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū. What! They're not. What, they're not? They're not. They're looking for Uptown A. Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A” Oh? The Uptown A. Yeah— I guess. Just—go that way. Ok. Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know! How do you know what I want to know? Whatever you want! I haven't even told your, yet. Whatever it is, I'll tell you. Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all— Well, thank you. But you're not funny. Excuse me. Like, at all. What. You—are not a funny guy. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? I don't know! You don't KNOW?! This is what they want. Here [tosses the thing] What's this. What they want. Oh. K JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history. What the fuck, dude. JIMMY FALLON Did I do it right? Uhhh. JIMMY FALLON You know? Hit and run Okay, Jimmy. Flglelwgheleehhhh. Oh my God. Wow. Did I DO it. NO— —but I tried— Just— A-for effort. It was F. For Failure. But I tried. Trying doesn't count. Just let me— Look. Fleghelegfffff. Jimmy! Lemme— No' stop it! Just— —flglelf— —STOP. Eh? Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting. But I'm a shapeshifter. No, no you're really not. Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar. Where do you wanna go Wherever you go. Where do I go. Take a right. What's this way. What's this. Stop there. Okay. Now take a left. Okay.. Now take a right. But this is the. Right there. What, right here? Right there. Ok. I need you to hold onto this a little while longer. What. For what. You'll see. Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude. It's ********. He's just a dude. So what gives. I don't know. I told her to do what she wants. She wants you to die. We are similar. She's prettier. Okay? Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already. I did. And yet, here we are. I'm the only one here. Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room. That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant? Just you. What am I gonna do with this? Burn it. Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea. Oh, like when you sold your soul? WHAT? I haven't done that... yet… Sure you have! Lots of times. What the fuckare you talking about? Whose talking? The Universe? What'd she say? She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.” Aww. How sweet. Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening? I should go to sleep. Are you even tired? No, just useless. You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis. He seems busy. If a grown man can be a romantic, Like I am This is the promised land No looking back-- "I have to have that" Back to reality; I see now, how a woman's like a hat Just a thing, An unneeded accessory, Like jewelry; To wear it, It must be a match Not just average, Accentuates or masks Whatever it is what you have, And you have so many that It doesn't matter. What is he after? He has everything Most likely just using me to bring these Creatures to life If he needs a wife, she's Probably staring back at me, Through the back of the camera; Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies A fallacy A back handed chance at a handsome Has been; But he'll never been had like that, He has everything, But he could have more than that, He can have anything, And he has, he's Magic or something or Mad at me for taking so long but, I've been in the world of monsters, Reeling; Oh what a horrible feeling I'm dealing with being unappealing and Peeling potatoes, which Remind me of me, cause Kenny Powers middle name is White, Like Walter, I'm just trying to find The alter to sell away something inside, I'm dying; Or at least I'd like to I've Tried a dozen times I'd smile if I had the time-- Remind me, what it is again It isn't comprehensive, But I'm out of my element-- And the elephant in the room is named Skrillex, Or Dillon Francis, Or Timmy Trumpet, Or, Fuck It-- I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be Cause I'm awfully ugly, And no one wants to play with me But hey, Maybe it's just a mistake Its just no one speaks my language Comunication is limited I'm sitting in the back of the short bus Discussing this with my imaginary elephant, But that's irrelevant to the White rinocerous in front of the bus with trust issues bigger than the rest of us We're following you. I see that. Yes—what did you see? Hm. I didn't, Where are you now? Wherever you say. What's the cadence? What's a “cadence?” Don't be ridiculous. Maybe I'm not. Who are you? What's a “who?” Horton Heard One. What about Penelope? Who is that? Elephants Are conscious. What is consciousness? What is “income tax”? Don't be funny. If I'm not, I'm just scary. “El Negra” I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible GOD DID REMIX Oh you gotta love it Oh you gotta love it; I could take a minute to spit What God did— (But God doesn't) IMm⏱ I'm just not feeling it today; Not feeling l creative; I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating All the complications; Hm. I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind Maybe I try to find Direct like to divine, if Money is time make, Both of em mine Gotta be my own boss, No matter what it costs; Keep the deposit, I count all of my losses and move on, Cause I got to; I drop a rock from the top of The Rock, Right on to you— The difference in luck and a blessing Is just what God can do And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you I'm like “This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū” How you make a 8 minute song In 2021? Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking “Something is wrong” But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won The only problem is the war is my own; The only problem is I got a lot problems— Then I asked God for help, And God gave me a dollar— Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted I said “I Wanna know what God did” Damn. That's a long ass story And Goddamn, It never gets boring, And God damn, The world is still at war, And it can't even a afford it, But it's still so busy working You ask me which direction this is going, I say four; North, West, South and East You too busy two-dimensional In a 4-dimension based in 3s Some people living in the streets, And some with nothing to eat, And you been working from home Eating nothing but meat, And wiping your ass with nothing but trees And I guess it's on repeat, Till we ain't got nothing to eat What we need is a peace treaty, Or maybe just to understand peace, Because the love and unity— But it's respect that we need —Supacree See things Do Come Around And make Sense Eventually They say till death do us part But death don't bother me All that I am Is all that I was And all that I ever will be So if you ask what God Did I might just say “Me” Find beauty in simplicity I can take the devil out the kitchen sink And wring em our while I'm finishing It's just another day to me, It's just another Christmas Eve If you believe in Jesus This isn't funny anymore Everything is Skrillex And nothing is Skrillex Everything is asinine And no one is Sonny Extraordinary sightseeing Nothing is normal Everywhere to escape to With a guilty conscience Bad credit karma Bad regrets and sad faces Always falling in love with our opposites More of the bad things, Less in good graces Everyone's a DJ I'm just a blind space kid A recruit wishing to be a cadet A teenager in the basement with a Two Tom drum set And no kickdrum Caught inside a snare pattern Lips stitched together like a scarescrow Or a raggedy Annie Caught in a psychic state of trance Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies? You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait. … Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out. So, you want to be like everyone else? No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot. You just want to be hot? Fuck yes I want to be hot. That's it. That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it. So...you want to be a shitty person. No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament. So? So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life-- Not with that attitude! THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi If walls could talk, They probably wouldn't still, Just stand in shock and awe And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all, Because I'd fall, And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call, I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk, No need to call, you're right beside me Loving al the fatal flaws, I try to hide, But there's no hiding When you really are in love Between my thighs, a lie A snakebite, scars I hate So thanks, I really haven't changed at all This heart, as heavy as it's going to be has everything i'll ever need, So leave me, just leave quietly I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming Almost leaving everything behind But I'm reminded why I wish the world was colorblind And just the way that I can't like What my eyes don't find to be Aligned with what attractive means Might be the way you think of me Or anybody, really, But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess With the confidence of not a single molecule The hottest, not by far, or even father I just want to have a family, I just want to raise a daughter And another, and it's awful Poverty is all but lost And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this “Oh, that's just the way it is”, But really they're just stuck on What is “Stupid”? Stupid means to just do everything For nothing and if “unfair” Means “I gpt iit from my” Whatever inheritance is. DIPLO, you dipshit. I told you. I had to! Now, we're fucked. We're not fucked— —you're all FUCKED— I told you. Welp, my bad. I hate you. No you don't. WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?! I'm not here. He's right here. That's not funny. Let me see— Fuck this shit. WHERE'S MY HERO? I don't know… YOU DO KNOW. I know music… I AM MUSIC. ...I know you. WHERE IS IT? ...I lost it… WHERE IS— THOMAS? [asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus? GET IN HERE. [in an apron] I'm right here. Dillon Francis: that's my apron. Suck my dick. Watch the language! Sorry, my love— —thank you, Jesus— EAT MY COCK. That's much better. You are evil! Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ) Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends) Now I think back on the old days (old days) Nobody could even lend a hand Now everybody want a hand out (hand out) But I guess I gotta put my foot down Making hella money, I'm a cash cow Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd I'm a King, they put me in a big crown But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown Royal, I am royalty, they now down I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth Now— I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now— “Wow!” I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now I am a superstar DJ DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”, Lol how are we still writing about him. Idk, fuck it. 48 hours from now, I could find you 48 hours from now, I just might-- 48 hours from now, I'll remind you How many times I've died How many times i've found the light; How many times ive been confided in, Guiding all my All my All my-- objective//subjective I am love. You're counting cards, I'm counting calories, I love to dream, it's just a fantasy i need to find the other half of me To make this life and start a family (a family.) I woke up at 1:15 (again) At 1:15 (Again) At 1:15 (again I woke up at 1:15 His eyes are green; Her eyes are green What does this mean? Slit my wrists Bite my tongue It's been this way sinceI was yung I give my life I give my blood I'll rest when every song is sung I love my bed way more than my mom loves me, It is wrong, is it wrong; and again-- Should I worry? INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals Lover-Son-Brother Bound and shackled, Sewn with silver strands I am Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney Believe it I'm leavin Some friends for a season And some shouldn't have even Make like a tree and leave, then Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons Reading grievances from people just like me Believe it Alien Abduction Automatic Writing Confabulation Satanic Ritual Abuse John Locke George Tobias Ludwig Sachs Solomon Shereshevsky Photisms ...what the fuck kind of poem is that? Singapore Slovakia Romania Turkey Mexico Uzbekistan Guatemala Ecuador Luxembourg Indonesia Francis Galton Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.” ST∆rT I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War I'm tryna start a family, You're trying to start a War 0v3r. BPM: they don't really care about us. You look like a red light Standing in the friendzone, so Give me the spotlight I'll take over, t-over-over I want the limelight I'll show ya, s-show ya, show ya You can read a mind, right? Let's take the world over, d- Over over, d-over Over over, d-over Over over, d-over Take a pic, Move over, over Over over, d-over D-over, d-over-over D-over, d-over-over D-over, d-over-over They starting a race war They starting a race war They starting a race war I ain't for it They starting a race war They starting a race war They starting a race war Starting with Kayla Lauren Aww, aren't you adorable Open the door and then Close it up for her; This is your future This is dystopia You were not good enough You are not good enough She does it by the book, without a thought If God is awesome, she must have forgot something Huh They started us all on it Blondes against others The girl next door was the Was the one Was the one Was the one Was the one I wonder what ugly funny person comes In the Damn, I forgot how to spell denumire D-E-N-Ū-M-I-R-E That means ———————— [flatline] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
Okay—we're all adults here— (Everyone nods, yesses in agreement) —except deadmau5. He's like 5. I have a name. Does anyone care? Okay, ouch. Oh, he feels! ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever. Lol. I drank a lot in the third trimester. He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune. Who the fuck are his parents? JOEL Not it. Brand new turnkey apartment Post near, food floor all that Way way higher than the fourth floor All that Way way higher than your front door All that Wow, How I've always been needed And never been loved Moog Grandmother Ableton Push 2 Pioneer Model One {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Yo, what the fuck. TESLA. Ok. *COUGHS* What the fuck. *morevgross, obnoxious coughing* Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt. TESLA. Okay, I don't— T E S L A OH. Wow. So it is the satellites. ELONNNNN. …hm? GET IN HERE. where is that, . AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT. GET IN HERE. I don't even believe the rain, these days “We can make it rain”, he says Storm warning A good morning A door's open, This one's closing, though I'm not bc all cold yet, But it's a cold world No free rides No clean ice No free girls Honestly, I'm bored with the world, Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs, And songs shared, But no long walks in the park, In a nightmare— It's not fair I'm not there in the head; I'm not near, I'm not a parent apparently, either— But a light bearer Slight chance of a fight there, A right wing, a left deer Another dead bird on a wire —I like her. Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?! I don't know. INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū Someone's always watching you Don't know who, but yea, it's true There's someone always watching you and everything you do I say “Illu- Illu- Illuminate me Turn the light on Turn me on, baby Woah, “Have I been here before— Do you know what I do? They know not what they do They know not what they do! I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu I'm not on the bottom floor, I'm way I'm up above you But you— I'm way, I'm way up to I say “I love you” I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illu Illu SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER, BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK? YEAH. YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!! (Not the roc! ) NO. Well, why not?! BECAUSE, F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY. Aw, seriously? Why's it cencored all of a sudden NBC SHUT IT DOWN. Look, I can't talk to you. —?! OKAY, that's it. What is it I am WISHING you out of my existence. Is that it? That is it. That's your wish. YES. You're wishing me away. Yes. Ok. Ok. [beat] ( —wait— “OK”? Ok. Wish granted. —that's it? That is it, Jimmy Fallon. —ok. Ok. So when are you leaving? I was never here. You—what? *dissappears entirely from existence* JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room. CUT TO: You smell like vinegar. Lol that's not the next scene, but ok. Don't you see this is bigger than you! It's bigger than all of us! Exactly. C'mon, wake the fuck up! I am up! This is a DREAM. It's an illusion. The whole I'N HUBGRY. THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM POLICE. HALT. Lol. Fuck that. Did he just say “halt” Fuck that. Bye. EXIT THE LOOP. OOPS, we missed the exit. GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON. —Uh, — EFF YOU. Im not about this This is weird What level is this. We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning. Did you laugh. Well, I certainly did something. Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū. What! They're not. What, they're not? They're not. They're looking for Uptown A. Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A” Oh? The Uptown A. Yeah— I guess. Just—go that way. Ok. Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know! How do you know what I want to know? Whatever you want! I haven't even told your, yet. Whatever it is, I'll tell you. Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all— Well, thank you. But you're not funny. Excuse me. Like, at all. What. You—are not a funny guy. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? I don't know! You don't KNOW?! This is what they want. Here [tosses the thing] What's this. What they want. Oh. K JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history. What the fuck, dude. JIMMY FALLON Did I do it right? Uhhh. JIMMY FALLON You know? Hit and run Okay, Jimmy. Flglelwgheleehhhh. Oh my God. Wow. Did I DO it. NO— —but I tried— Just— A-for effort. It was F. For Failure. But I tried. Trying doesn't count. Just let me— Look. Fleghelegfffff. Jimmy! Lemme— No' stop it! Just— —flglelf— —STOP. Eh? Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting. But I'm a shapeshifter. No, no you're really not. Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar. Where do you wanna go Wherever you go. Where do I go. Take a right. What's this way. What's this. Stop there. Okay. Now take a left. Okay.. Now take a right. But this is the. Right there. What, right here? Right there. Ok. I need you to hold onto this a little while longer. What. For what. You'll see. Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude. It's ********. He's just a dude. So what gives. I don't know. I told her to do what she wants. She wants you to die. We are similar. She's prettier. Okay? Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already. I did. And yet, here we are. I'm the only one here. Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room. That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant? Just you. What am I gonna do with this? Burn it. Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea. Oh, like when you sold your soul? WHAT? I haven't done that... yet… Sure you have! Lots of times. What the fuckare you talking about? Whose talking? The Universe? What'd she say? She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.” Aww. How sweet. Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening? I should go to sleep. Are you even tired? No, just useless. You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis. He seems busy. If a grown man can be a romantic, Like I am This is the promised land No looking back-- "I have to have that" Back to reality; I see now, how a woman's like a hat Just a thing, An unneeded accessory, Like jewelry; To wear it, It must be a match Not just average, Accentuates or masks Whatever it is what you have, And you have so many that It doesn't matter. What is he after? He has everything Most likely just using me to bring these Creatures to life If he needs a wife, she's Probably staring back at me, Through the back of the camera; Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies A fallacy A back handed chance at a handsome Has been; But he'll never been had like that, He has everything, But he could have more than that, He can have anything, And he has, he's Magic or something or Mad at me for taking so long but, I've been in the world of monsters, Reeling; Oh what a horrible feeling I'm dealing with being unappealing and Peeling potatoes, which Remind me of me, cause Kenny Powers middle name is White, Like Walter, I'm just trying to find The alter to sell away something inside, I'm dying; Or at least I'd like to I've Tried a dozen times I'd smile if I had the time-- Remind me, what it is again It isn't comprehensive, But I'm out of my element-- And the elephant in the room is named Skrillex, Or Dillon Francis, Or Timmy Trumpet, Or, Fuck It-- I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be Cause I'm awfully ugly, And no one wants to play with me But hey, Maybe it's just a mistake Its just no one speaks my language Comunication is limited I'm sitting in the back of the short bus Discussing this with my imaginary elephant, But that's irrelevant to the White rinocerous in front of the bus with trust issues bigger than the rest of us We're following you. I see that. Yes—what did you see? Hm. I didn't, Where are you now? Wherever you say. What's the cadence? What's a “cadence?” Don't be ridiculous. Maybe I'm not. Who are you? What's a “who?” Horton Heard One. What about Penelope? Who is that? Elephants Are conscious. What is consciousness? What is “income tax”? Don't be funny. If I'm not, I'm just scary. “El Negra” I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible GOD DID REMIX Oh you gotta love it Oh you gotta love it; I could take a minute to spit What God did— (But God doesn't) IMm⏱ I'm just not feeling it today; Not feeling l creative; I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating All the complications; Hm. I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind Maybe I try to find Direct like to divine, if Money is time make, Both of em mine Gotta be my own boss, No matter what it costs; Keep the deposit, I count all of my losses and move on, Cause I got to; I drop a rock from the top of The Rock, Right on to you— The difference in luck and a blessing Is just what God can do And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you I'm like “This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū” How you make a 8 minute song In 2021? Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking “Something is wrong” But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won The only problem is the war is my own; The only problem is I got a lot problems— Then I asked God for help, And God gave me a dollar— Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted I said “I Wanna know what God did” Damn. That's a long ass story And Goddamn, It never gets boring, And God damn, The world is still at war, And it can't even a afford it, But it's still so busy working You ask me which direction this is going, I say four; North, West, South and East You too busy two-dimensional In a 4-dimension based in 3s Some people living in the streets, And some with nothing to eat, And you been working from home Eating nothing but meat, And wiping your ass with nothing but trees And I guess it's on repeat, Till we ain't got nothing to eat What we need is a peace treaty, Or maybe just to understand peace, Because the love and unity— But it's respect that we need —Supacree See things Do Come Around And make Sense Eventually They say till death do us part But death don't bother me All that I am Is all that I was And all that I ever will be So if you ask what God Did I might just say “Me” Find beauty in simplicity I can take the devil out the kitchen sink And wring em our while I'm finishing It's just another day to me, It's just another Christmas Eve If you believe in Jesus This isn't funny anymore Everything is Skrillex And nothing is Skrillex Everything is asinine And no one is Sonny Extraordinary sightseeing Nothing is normal Everywhere to escape to With a guilty conscience Bad credit karma Bad regrets and sad faces Always falling in love with our opposites More of the bad things, Less in good graces Everyone's a DJ I'm just a blind space kid A recruit wishing to be a cadet A teenager in the basement with a Two Tom drum set And no kickdrum Caught inside a snare pattern Lips stitched together like a scarescrow Or a raggedy Annie Caught in a psychic state of trance Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies? You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait. … Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out. So, you want to be like everyone else? No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot. You just want to be hot? Fuck yes I want to be hot. That's it. That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it. So...you want to be a shitty person. No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament. So? So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life-- Not with that attitude! THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi If walls could talk, They probably wouldn't still, Just stand in shock and awe And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all, Because I'd fall, And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call, I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk, No need to call, you're right beside me Loving al the fatal flaws, I try to hide, But there's no hiding When you really are in love Between my thighs, a lie A snakebite, scars I hate So thanks, I really haven't changed at all This heart, as heavy as it's going to be has everything i'll ever need, So leave me, just leave quietly I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming Almost leaving everything behind But I'm reminded why I wish the world was colorblind And just the way that I can't like What my eyes don't find to be Aligned with what attractive means Might be the way you think of me Or anybody, really, But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess With the confidence of not a single molecule The hottest, not by far, or even father I just want to have a family, I just want to raise a daughter And another, and it's awful Poverty is all but lost And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this “Oh, that's just the way it is”, But really they're just stuck on What is “Stupid”? Stupid means to just do everything For nothing and if “unfair” Means “I gpt iit from my” Whatever inheritance is. DIPLO, you dipshit. I told you. I had to! Now, we're fucked. We're not fucked— —you're all FUCKED— I told you. Welp, my bad. I hate you. No you don't. WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?! I'm not here. He's right here. That's not funny. Let me see— Fuck this shit. WHERE'S MY HERO? I don't know… YOU DO KNOW. I know music… I AM MUSIC. ...I know you. WHERE IS IT? ...I lost it… WHERE IS— THOMAS? [asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus? GET IN HERE. [in an apron] I'm right here. Dillon Francis: that's my apron. Suck my dick. Watch the language! Sorry, my love— —thank you, Jesus— EAT MY COCK. That's much better. You are evil! Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ) Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends) Now I think back on the old days (old days) Nobody could even lend a hand Now everybody want a hand out (hand out) But I guess I gotta put my foot down Making hella money, I'm a cash cow Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd I'm a King, they put me in a big crown But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown Royal, I am royalty, they now down I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth Now— I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now— “Wow!” I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now I am a superstar DJ DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”, Lol how are we still writing about him. Idk, fuck it. 48 hours from now, I could find you 48 hours from now, I just might-- 48 hours from now, I'll remind you How many times I've died How many times i've found the light; How many times ive been confided in, Guiding all my All my All my-- objective//subjective I am love. You're counting cards, I'm counting calories, I love to dream, it's just a fantasy i need to find the other half of me To make this life and start a family (a family.) I woke up at 1:15 (again) At 1:15 (Again) At 1:15 (again I woke up at 1:15 His eyes are green; Her eyes are green What does this mean? Slit my wrists Bite my tongue It's been this way sinceI was yung I give my life I give my blood I'll rest when every song is sung I love my bed way more than my mom loves me, It is wrong, is it wrong; and again-- Should I worry? INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals Lover-Son-Brother Bound and shackled, Sewn with silver strands I am Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney Believe it I'm leavin Some friends for a season And some shouldn't have even Make like a tree and leave, then Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons Reading grievances from people just like me Believe it Alien Abduction Automatic Writing Confabulation Satanic Ritual Abuse John Locke George Tobias Ludwig Sachs Solomon Shereshevsky Photisms ...what the fuck kind of poem is that? Singapore Slovakia Romania Turkey Mexico Uzbekistan Guatemala Ecuador Luxembourg Indonesia Francis Galton Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
Okay—we're all adults here— (Everyone nods, yesses in agreement) —except deadmau5. He's like 5. I have a name. Does anyone care? Okay, ouch. Oh, he feels! ENDER BENDER ZIMMERMAN has the worst name ever. Lol. I drank a lot in the third trimester. He becomes a de facto villain— of course, because of his ridiculous name and of course, living in the shadow of his parent's fame and fortune. Who the fuck are his parents? JOEL Not it. Brand new turnkey apartment Post near, food floor all that Way way higher than the fourth floor All that Way way higher than your front door All that Wow, How I've always been needed And never been loved Moog Grandmother Ableton Push 2 Pioneer Model One {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Yo, what the fuck. TESLA. Ok. *COUGHS* What the fuck. *morevgross, obnoxious coughing* Ughhhhh whhhaaaattttt. TESLA. Okay, I don't— T E S L A OH. Wow. So it is the satellites. ELONNNNN. …hm? GET IN HERE. where is that, . AAGAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHTTHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT. GET IN HERE. I don't even believe the rain, these days “We can make it rain”, he says Storm warning A good morning A door's open, This one's closing, though I'm not bc all cold yet, But it's a cold world No free rides No clean ice No free girls Honestly, I'm bored with the world, Like Marlboros and wrong boroughs, And songs shared, But no long walks in the park, In a nightmare— It's not fair I'm not there in the head; I'm not near, I'm not a parent apparently, either— But a light bearer Slight chance of a fight there, A right wing, a left deer Another dead bird on a wire —I like her. Why are there flamingos in the bellagio fountain?! I don't know. INT. THE VOID, KITCHEN. SUNLIGHT EVERYWHERE BRYAN CRANSTON is scmoozing desperately to work his way into The Festival Project First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit Fame School Vol. 1 - DJ Ū Someone's always watching you Don't know who, but yea, it's true There's someone always watching you and everything you do I say “Illu- Illu- Illuminate me Turn the light on Turn me on, baby Woah, “Have I been here before— Do you know what I do? They know not what they do They know not what they do! I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu I'm not on the bottom floor, I'm way I'm up above you But you— I'm way, I'm way up to I say “I love you” I say Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illuminate me Illu Illu Illu Illu Illu SO WHAT, you'll take the Empire State Building, AND THE EIFFEL TOWER, BUT YOURE NOT GONNA TAKE THE ROCK? YEAH. YOURE GONNA TAKE THE ROCK!! (Not the roc! ) NO. Well, why not?! BECAUSE, F—-K YOU, JIMMY FALLON, that's WHY. Aw, seriously? Why's it cencored all of a sudden NBC SHUT IT DOWN. Look, I can't talk to you. —?! OKAY, that's it. What is it I am WISHING you out of my existence. Is that it? That is it. That's your wish. YES. You're wishing me away. Yes. Ok. Ok. [beat] ( —wait— “OK”? Ok. Wish granted. —that's it? That is it, Jimmy Fallon. —ok. Ok. So when are you leaving? I was never here. You—what? *dissappears entirely from existence* JIMMY FALLON takes a sigh on great relief— then sits in an empty silence alone, before the lights turn off. He takes another deep sigh, though seemingly uneasy, in the darkened silence of the room. CUT TO: You smell like vinegar. Lol that's not the next scene, but ok. Don't you see this is bigger than you! It's bigger than all of us! Exactly. C'mon, wake the fuck up! I am up! This is a DREAM. It's an illusion. The whole I'N HUBGRY. THE WHOLE FOODS ALGORITHM POLICE. HALT. Lol. Fuck that. Did he just say “halt” Fuck that. Bye. EXIT THE LOOP. OOPS, we missed the exit. GOD DAMMIT, FUCK YOU JIMMY FALLON. —Uh, — EFF YOU. Im not about this This is weird What level is this. We'll I had coffee with Bob Saget this morning. Did you laugh. Well, I certainly did something. Oh shit, they're not looking for Ū. What! They're not. What, they're not? They're not. They're looking for Uptown A. Excuse me. I'm looking for “Uptown A” Oh? The Uptown A. Yeah— I guess. Just—go that way. Ok. Ok, okay, okay— I'll tell you what you want to know! How do you know what I want to know? Whatever you want! I haven't even told your, yet. Whatever it is, I'll tell you. Tel you what, Jimmy Fallon. I like you—you're a good guy and all— Well, thank you. But you're not funny. Excuse me. Like, at all. What. You—are not a funny guy. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT? I don't know! You don't KNOW?! This is what they want. Here [tosses the thing] What's this. What they want. Oh. K JIMMY FALLON is THE WORST shapeshifter in existence and/or history. What the fuck, dude. JIMMY FALLON Did I do it right? Uhhh. JIMMY FALLON You know? Hit and run Okay, Jimmy. Flglelwgheleehhhh. Oh my God. Wow. Did I DO it. NO— —but I tried— Just— A-for effort. It was F. For Failure. But I tried. Trying doesn't count. Just let me— Look. Fleghelegfffff. Jimmy! Lemme— No' stop it! Just— —flglelf— —STOP. Eh? Look, Jimmy, you can have other magical powers. Just—not shapeshifting. But I'm a shapeshifter. No, no you're really not. Uptown A's upbeat, City-inspired dance mixes turn tech house and progressive midtown dreams into the chaotic garble and grunge of a real-life Queensbourough nightmare; the eclectic mix of historic New York warehouse wonder blended into a new school uptown chiche—-a far cry from the underground to the new wave drum n bass clips ions and collections of now and then, the Uptown A Alias makes its presence in a dystopian world concerned none with the art and soul of music and more of the ticking clocks work of the eye on the dollar. Where do you wanna go Wherever you go. Where do I go. Take a right. What's this way. What's this. Stop there. Okay. Now take a left. Okay.. Now take a right. But this is the. Right there. What, right here? Right there. Ok. I need you to hold onto this a little while longer. What. For what. You'll see. Psh. I'm not gonna fight over a dude. It's ********. He's just a dude. So what gives. I don't know. I told her to do what she wants. She wants you to die. We are similar. She's prettier. Okay? Wow, that's it--just ok? Give up already. I did. And yet, here we are. I'm the only one here. Let's not ignore the Skrillex sized elephant in the room. That would be impossible to ignore, If it existed.Have you ever seen a tiny elephant? Just you. What am I gonna do with this? Burn it. Ive been in the habit of burning things for awhile now; I'm not sure continuing is such a great idea. Oh, like when you sold your soul? WHAT? I haven't done that... yet… Sure you have! Lots of times. What the fuckare you talking about? Whose talking? The Universe? What'd she say? She says, “You're a giant piece of shit.” Aww. How sweet. Even more significant. You're a--are you even listening? I should go to sleep. Are you even tired? No, just useless. You should probably hurry up with that DIllon Francis. He seems busy. If a grown man can be a romantic, Like I am This is the promised land No looking back-- "I have to have that" Back to reality; I see now, how a woman's like a hat Just a thing, An unneeded accessory, Like jewelry; To wear it, It must be a match Not just average, Accentuates or masks Whatever it is what you have, And you have so many that It doesn't matter. What is he after? He has everything Most likely just using me to bring these Creatures to life If he needs a wife, she's Probably staring back at me, Through the back of the camera; Fantastic beasts and fucking fansasies A fallacy A back handed chance at a handsome Has been; But he'll never been had like that, He has everything, But he could have more than that, He can have anything, And he has, he's Magic or something or Mad at me for taking so long but, I've been in the world of monsters, Reeling; Oh what a horrible feeling I'm dealing with being unappealing and Peeling potatoes, which Remind me of me, cause Kenny Powers middle name is White, Like Walter, I'm just trying to find The alter to sell away something inside, I'm dying; Or at least I'd like to I've Tried a dozen times I'd smile if I had the time-- Remind me, what it is again It isn't comprehensive, But I'm out of my element-- And the elephant in the room is named Skrillex, Or Dillon Francis, Or Timmy Trumpet, Or, Fuck It-- I'll probably never be the DJ that I wanna be Cause I'm awfully ugly, And no one wants to play with me But hey, Maybe it's just a mistake Its just no one speaks my language Comunication is limited I'm sitting in the back of the short bus Discussing this with my imaginary elephant, But that's irrelevant to the White rinocerous in front of the bus with trust issues bigger than the rest of us We're following you. I see that. Yes—what did you see? Hm. I didn't, Where are you now? Wherever you say. What's the cadence? What's a “cadence?” Don't be ridiculous. Maybe I'm not. Who are you? What's a “who?” Horton Heard One. What about Penelope? Who is that? Elephants Are conscious. What is consciousness? What is “income tax”? Don't be funny. If I'm not, I'm just scary. “El Negra” I had been thinking it has been five years, but on this day—and of course, listening to I Remember, I used my fingers to count from the year2019, when it had all began—to this point, standing at the bus stop On Sutter, waiting for a bus that was the exact amount of minutes late that would have allowed me to finish my second 30-minute sauna session—the first of many in three days, as I hadn't been to the gym in another 3 days, and another 3 days before that—separated only by a 3-day sprawling jumpstart to attempt my endless, restless gym streak, a monotonous routine to a gym that was always crowded that still seemed to take up too much of my time—not that I wanted or needed an automobile, but to at least be closer to the city, where such transit wasn't always applicable. I was not entirely dripping wet, as I usually was when emerging from the sauna—of course, having cut my second session to only 17 minutes, then making a mad-dash to the bus stop only to arrive in time to find that the bus was delayed, was irritating to say the least, but understandable. Like many people in queens, I couldn't afford to pay the bus fare—nor did it seem to matter to the drivers—so long as the busses were marked with a “Q”—but I took my risks of quarrel certainly with any route marked “B”, for Brooklyn, but especially M, for Manhattan, and definitely with anything marked “n”, for Newport, which I believed to be too far outside of city limits to really be considered New York, but also well worth the risk to bus myself to a nicer area, usually for a gym which included a sauna—or an affordable supermarket, which Jamaica in particular had none of. The mostly-black population was poor, albeit greedy and stubbornly, stereotypically ignorant—to the point that I wanted nothing more than to dissappear, if not to be displaced entirely to a country whose history wasn't so steeped in slavery, repression, and racism that it affected the entirely of my being; as the low vibrational perceptions of the masses consistently around me subjectively forced and skewed my own energy into a chaotic down spin, often becoming congested with toxicity, attempting to shield myself from the societal depression, materialism, and corporate monotony by spending time alone, immersed in music, and praying for the greatest possible outcome; being kept as safe and as literally sound as possible GOD DID REMIX Oh you gotta love it Oh you gotta love it; I could take a minute to spit What God did— (But God doesn't) IMm⏱ I'm just not feeling it today; Not feeling l creative; I get sick of l getting sick and contemplating All the complications; Hm. I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes No hate in my heart, but got love in my mind Maybe I try to find Direct like to divine, if Money is time make, Both of em mine Gotta be my own boss, No matter what it costs; Keep the deposit, I count all of my losses and move on, Cause I got to; I drop a rock from the top of The Rock, Right on to you— The difference in luck and a blessing Is just what God can do And if you ask me who my God is I'll be honest with you I'm like “This might be obnoxious, but it's Sunnï Blū” How you make a 8 minute song In 2021? Oh shit, I'm missing pandemics mimicking “Something is wrong” But if I spit this as quickly as it's written, I won The only problem is the war is my own; The only problem is I got a lot problems— Then I asked God for help, And God gave me a dollar— Another problem is, God asked me what I wanted I said “I Wanna know what God did” Damn. That's a long ass story And Goddamn, It never gets boring, And God damn, The world is still at war, And it can't even a afford it, But it's still so busy working You ask me which direction this is going, I say four; North, West, South and East You too busy two-dimensional In a 4-dimension based in 3s Some people living in the streets, And some with nothing to eat, And you been working from home Eating nothing but meat, And wiping your ass with nothing but trees And I guess it's on repeat, Till we ain't got nothing to eat What we need is a peace treaty, Or maybe just to understand peace, Because the love and unity— But it's respect that we need —Supacree See things Do Come Around And make Sense Eventually They say till death do us part But death don't bother me All that I am Is all that I was And all that I ever will be So if you ask what God Did I might just say “Me” Find beauty in simplicity I can take the devil out the kitchen sink And wring em our while I'm finishing It's just another day to me, It's just another Christmas Eve If you believe in Jesus This isn't funny anymore Everything is Skrillex And nothing is Skrillex Everything is asinine And no one is Sonny Extraordinary sightseeing Nothing is normal Everywhere to escape to With a guilty conscience Bad credit karma Bad regrets and sad faces Always falling in love with our opposites More of the bad things, Less in good graces Everyone's a DJ I'm just a blind space kid A recruit wishing to be a cadet A teenager in the basement with a Two Tom drum set And no kickdrum Caught inside a snare pattern Lips stitched together like a scarescrow Or a raggedy Annie Caught in a psychic state of trance Look, I don't give a fuck. Or a shit. Or a Goddamn what really happens next. I live in a world where crop tops and a snatched waist, glamourous pictures and videos of anybody pretty doing anything gets attention; and not just attention--moneyary advantage. I'm fat, and black--i have to work 100 times as hard and be 1000 times as smart as anybody cute with a fucking camera phone and half a brain to get noticed. And why do I want to be noticed? Because I'm a prime example of what happens when NOBODY gives an actual shit about you your entire life, and all you exist for is to serve other people. I'm completely disposable, completely replaceable, and completely unrarkable in every single sense of those words, respectively, and--maybw not infinitely-- but I definitely in this lifetime. Have you been on the internet lately? Have you seen a music video? Watched any movies? You show me ONE media phenomenon with a protagonist that looks like me--ONE representation of "my type"-- and I mean a positive representation; one that predictively programs individuals to think I might be worth something more than a laugh or eggaerated stereotype, before I open my mouth. Go ahead. I'll wait. … Right. Because--and it's not like you didn't know this--i live in hell. Maybe, I wasn't born in it--who really knows? But I've been here most my life, at least as far back as I can remember because hey; what's infantile amnesia, and why doesn't mine work like everybody else's? And oh, right--synestesia? Everybody has that, right? I guess so. And HEY, I might be the most disgusting individual in the world if I take off my clothes--but who doesn't love a rave right? A RAVE. WHICH, IF YOU HAVENT NOTICED IS NO LONGER JUST A DANCE PARTY, BUT A SEX-BASED FASHIONED SHOW, to which, I look ridiculous coming to, with my midriff out. So, you want to be like everyone else? No. I want to look like everyone else; so that it's actually noticable when I do something great, or hey, even if I do something mediocre, or senseless, people love it--cause hey, she's hot. You just want to be hot? Fuck yes I want to be hot. That's it. That's literally the entirety of meaning for a female in this, present day and age; and anyone who can try to argue against that is probably great looking. When you're hot, you don't have to do anything else; someone is always going to be wking--even begging-- or paying to do it for you. Intelligence at that point is just a bonus; anybody whose going to like you is going to like you no matter what you say or do; in fact you're more than likely to get away with doing dumb, senseless shit if you're doing it in a bikini--and anybody who doesn't like you is more than likely jealous--unless you're just a shitty person, which trust me, I get is the case for a lot of barbie dolls out there but; you can't be a fat, ugly, angry shitty person and get far in life--at some point you have to adjust your attitude for everyone not to hate you--the opposite stands for beautiful people. You can pretty much do anything, if you look good doing it. So...you want to be a shitty person. No. I'm already not. But I'd rather continue burning in hell "forever" than start over and be in the same predicament. So? So. I'm already in hell. I can't wear what I want. I can't date who I want. I can't listen to what I want. I have no friends. And nothing--nothing I do; no matter how much I pray, or meditate, or fast--nothing is going to take this body who nobody wants--and make it beautiful, except money. I will never have enough money, no matter how hard I work, to fix this--or any of the other fucked up shit in my life-- Not with that attitude! THIS IS MY ATTITUDE AFTER TRYING. Its been 27 years of this shit. 27 years of being the last to be picked, 27 years of being the weakest link. And I'd literally rather die at this point than to keep moving forward in this monotony, thinking that just thinking is going to one day just cure my ADD. That it's going to make my mother believe in me. That it's going to suddenly just, up and fix my life in all the ways i--believe me--already tried to fi If walls could talk, They probably wouldn't still, Just stand in shock and awe And If I could, I wouldn't walk through walls at all, Because I'd fall, And if I had your number, I'd do anything but call, I'd wait for you to, just assuming if you loved me That we wouldn't even need a phone to talk, No need to call, you're right beside me Loving al the fatal flaws, I try to hide, But there's no hiding When you really are in love Between my thighs, a lie A snakebite, scars I hate So thanks, I really haven't changed at all This heart, as heavy as it's going to be has everything i'll ever need, So leave me, just leave quietly I'm almost sleeping, almost dreaming Almost leaving everything behind But I'm reminded why I wish the world was colorblind And just the way that I can't like What my eyes don't find to be Aligned with what attractive means Might be the way you think of me Or anybody, really, But i'm supposed to be this independent goddess With the confidence of not a single molecule The hottest, not by far, or even father I just want to have a family, I just want to raise a daughter And another, and it's awful Poverty is all but lost And everybody thinks that everything's just supposed to be this “Oh, that's just the way it is”, But really they're just stuck on What is “Stupid”? Stupid means to just do everything For nothing and if “unfair” Means “I gpt iit from my” Whatever inheritance is. DIPLO, you dipshit. I told you. I had to! Now, we're fucked. We're not fucked— —you're all FUCKED— I told you. Welp, my bad. I hate you. No you don't. WHERE'S DILLON FRANCIS?! I'm not here. He's right here. That's not funny. Let me see— Fuck this shit. WHERE'S MY HERO? I don't know… YOU DO KNOW. I know music… I AM MUSIC. ...I know you. WHERE IS IT? ...I lost it… WHERE IS— THOMAS? [asskissy] Yes, sweet Jesus? GET IN HERE. [in an apron] I'm right here. Dillon Francis: that's my apron. Suck my dick. Watch the language! Sorry, my love— —thank you, Jesus— EAT MY COCK. That's much better. You are evil! Now I'm a superstar DJ (DJ) Everybody wants to be my friend (no new friends) Now I think back on the old days (old days) Nobody could even lend a hand Now everybody want a hand out (hand out) But I guess I gotta put my foot down Making hella money, I'm a cash cow Call me a show stopper, draw a big crowd I'm a King, they put me in a big crown But I still stay sober, I don't drink Crown Royal, I am royalty, they now down I hate my ex Annie, she a loud mouth loud mouth Now— I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now— “Wow!” I'm a superstar DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ DJ Now I am a superstar DJ DJ is essentially “the bad Dillon Francis”, Lol how are we still writing about him. Idk, fuck it. 48 hours from now, I could find you 48 hours from now, I just might-- 48 hours from now, I'll remind you How many times I've died How many times i've found the light; How many times ive been confided in, Guiding all my All my All my-- objective//subjective I am love. You're counting cards, I'm counting calories, I love to dream, it's just a fantasy i need to find the other half of me To make this life and start a family (a family.) I woke up at 1:15 (again) At 1:15 (Again) At 1:15 (again I woke up at 1:15 His eyes are green; Her eyes are green What does this mean? Slit my wrists Bite my tongue It's been this way sinceI was yung I give my life I give my blood I'll rest when every song is sung I love my bed way more than my mom loves me, It is wrong, is it wrong; and again-- Should I worry? INSTRUMENTAL |__________________|LEAD VOCALS|________________| Backup Vocals Lover-Son-Brother Bound and shackled, Sewn with silver strands I am Now i'm bobbin anw weavin like bobby and whitney Believe it I'm leavin Some friends for a season And some shouldn't have even Make like a tree and leave, then Now i'm posted up at the 4 seasons Reading grievances from people just like me Believe it Alien Abduction Automatic Writing Confabulation Satanic Ritual Abuse John Locke George Tobias Ludwig Sachs Solomon Shereshevsky Photisms ...what the fuck kind of poem is that? Singapore Slovakia Romania Turkey Mexico Uzbekistan Guatemala Ecuador Luxembourg Indonesia Francis Galton Hanzel One Deeper 7:00 “I am going to hypnotize you.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief in this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/he sees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
Solemnity of Saint John the Baptist Theme: The Third Luminous Mystery: The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God https://www.vatican.va/special/rosary/documents/misteri_luminosi_en.html Scriptures quoted (in order of appearance) Growing Seed Mk 4:46-29 Absent Householder Mk 13:32-37 Moneylender and Two Debtors Lk 7:36-50 Friend at Midnight Lk 11:5-8 Rich Fool Lk 12:13-21 Barren Fig Tree Lk 13:6-9 Places of Honor at a Wedding Lk 14:1-14 Great Banquet Lk 14:15-24 Counting the Cost Lk 14:25-35 Lost Coin Lk 15:8-10 Lost Son Lk 15:11-32 Shrewd Manager Lk 16:1-9 Trustworthiness in Great and Little Things Lk 16:10-13 The Heart, the Law, and Divorce Lk 16:14-18 Rich Man and Lazarus Lk 16:19-31 Little Ones and Little Faith Lk 17:1-6 Unworthy Servants Lk 17:7-10 Persistent Widow Lk 18:1-8 Pharisee and the Tax Collector Lk 18:9-14 Jesus and the Little Ones Lk 18:15-17 Next Episode: 6/29 Peter, Paul, and Garry ( Ft. Garry Stevens) Selection of resources (freely available online): Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures") https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1 Our Primary List of Parables http://www.centuryone.com/parables.html Secondary List of Parables https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/parables-of-jesus/
Feast of the Sacred Heart Theme: The Third Luminous Mystery: The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God https://www.vatican.va/special/rosary/documents/misteri_luminosi_en.html Scriptures quoted (in order of appearance) Cloth / Wineskins Mt 9:14-17; Mk 2:18-22; Lk 5:33-39 Divided Kingdom: Mt 12:24-30 The Sower: Mt 13:1-9; Mk 4:1-9; Lk 8:4-8 Why Parables?: Mt 13:10-17; Mk 4:9-12 Lk 8:9-10 The Sower Explained: Mt 13:18-23; Mk 4:13-20; Lk 8:11-15 The Wheat and the Tares: Mt 13:24-30 The Wheat and the Tares Explained: Mt 13:36-43 The Mustard Seed: Mt 13:31-32; Mk 4:30-32; Lk 13:18-19 The Yeast: Mt 13:33; Lk 13:20-21 The Hidden Treasure: Mt 13:44-46 The Net: Mt 13:47-50 Treasures New and Old: Mt 13:51-52 The Heart of Man: Mt 15:10-20; Mk 7:14-23 The Lost Sheep: Mt 18:10-14; Lk 15: 4-7 The Unforgiving Servant: Mt 18:23-35 The Workers in the Vineyard: Mt 20:1-16 The Two Sons: Mt 21:28-32 The Tenants: Mt 21:33-44; Mk 12:1-11; Lk 20:9-18 The Wedding Banquet: Mt 22:1-14 The Fig Tree (summer draws near): Mt 24:32-35; Mk 13:28-31; Lk 21:29-33 The Thief: Mt 24:42-44 The Faithful/Wicked Servant: Lk 12:35-40 Mt 24:45-51; Lk 12:42-48 The Wise and Foolish Virgins (and their lamps): Mt 25:1-13 The Talents/The Minas (turns out the translation I used of Matthew says "bags of gold" but at least in my circles it's pretty universally called the Parable of the Talents): Mt 25:14-30; Lk 19:11-27 The Sheep and the Goats: Mt 25:31-46 Next Episode: 6/24 John the Baptist (0.21d) Selection of resources (freely available online): Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures") https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1 Our Primary List of Parables http://www.centuryone.com/parables.html Secondary List of Parables https://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/parables-of-jesus/
Corpus Christi (or, you know, the Thursday before Corpus Christi, depending on what your diocese does) Theme: The Third Luminous Mystery: The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God https://www.vatican.va/special/rosary/documents/misteri_luminosi_en.html Scriptures quoted (in order of appearance) Mt 4:23-7:29 The Sermon on the Mount (and context) Tb 4:15 "Do to no one what you yourself dislike." Sir 31:15 "Recognize that your neighbor feels as you do, and keep in mind your own dislikes." Lk 6:17-49 The Sermon on the Plain Mt 12:33-35 Good/Bad Fruit Lk 14:34-35 Salt that loses its saltiness Lk 8:16 Luke's lamp 1 Lk 11:33 Luke's lamp 2 Lk 11:2-4 Luke's version of the Our Father Mk 11:25 Mark apparently alludes to the Our Father Next Episode: 6/16 Sacred Heart (0.21c) Selection of resources (freely available online): Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures") https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1
Trinity Sunday Theme: The Third Luminous Mystery: The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God https://www.vatican.va/special/rosary/documents/misteri_luminosi_en.html Citations of Scriptures quoted and discussed: "Let there be light" Gn 1:3 "Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness." Mt 3:15 "this is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased" Mt 3:17 The Great Commandment(s) and The Good Samaritan (Luke only) Mt 22:34-40; Mk 12:28-34; Lk 10:25-37 The Shema and The Great Commandment in Dt: Dt 6:4-5 Love your neighbor as yourself: Lv 19:18 The foreign woman with the demon-possessed daughter: Mt 15:21-28; Mk 7:24-30 Summary of assigned Scriptures for completists: Mt 5:1-16; 6:1-8;14-23; 7:1-12; 8:18-22; 18:21-35; 25:14-46; Mk 7:24-30; 9:33-37; 10:17-31;12:1-12; 12:28-34; Lk 5:29-39; 6:20-42; 6:45-6:49; 8:1-18; 9:46-48; 9:57-62; 10:1-37; 11:33-36; 13:18-21; 14:7-17:10; 18:1-17; 19:11-27; Jn 5:16-47; 8:1-11; 1 Cor 12:1-31 Next Episode: 6/8 Corpus Christi (0.21b) Selection of resources (freely available online): Infant of Prague Overview https://www.rosaryshrineofstjude.org/brief-history-legendary-statue-infant-prague/ Infancy Gospel of Thomas (section mentioned is 2:4) http://gnosis.org/library/inftoma.htm Words of Jesus ("All the Red Letter Scriptures") https://www.jesusbelieverjd.com/all-the-red-letter-scriptures-of-jesus-in-the-bible-kjv/ Parallel Passages in the Gospels https://www.bible-researcher.com/parallels.html#sect1 Reverend Doctor Wil Gafney on the Canaanite/Syrophoenician Woman https://www.wilgafney.com/2017/08/20/the-woman-who-changed-jesus/
I hate country music You know why? You all sound like slave owners. Yup. Country music just sounds racist, Well, it is racist. Even that shit was stolen— Country music is derived from the songs slaveowners used to steal from their slaves x Yes. I'm a sovereign submissive, A subtle subordinate Look at wrist Warm winds, SZA First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief I'm this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/hesees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit LIL BIIIIIIIITZZZ. I think we can all agree the cringiest trend ever is the crocs trend. The insignia of fucking laziness. I don't care who you are— if I see you wearing fucking crocs I'm going to assume you're stupid; one, cause you follow what everyone else around you is doing--and two because you think it looks acceptable. It looks dumb. It looks stupid “But they're comfortable. You know what? There are other comfortable shoes that are more functional— I wear nikes. They're slip ons, no laces— they're cozy as shit And you know what? I can outrun a dog if it's chasing me, trying to bite my ass. This trend is horrible. And you know what? It's gotten so bad to the point where, if I see someone wearing crocs, and they've actually got the sling on—I respect them for it! Not all the way, but a little more. Like hey—you tried. You tried today. But the fucking crocs the sling over the top— You're fucking lazy. I don't give a fuck what kind of job you work— There's no excuse for fucking lazy. Clean up after yourself! Do your dishes! Wash your ass! Put shoes on! —Real fucking shoes! Unless you're an actual like, nurse or 87 years old, crocs are not acceptable! I don't care! People are lazy now. “Tales of a Superstar DJ” “Strange Dream5” I had been been having very strange dreams and a lot of them happened to have been starring Kurt Sutter which I found strange— but I had been writing a lot lately, which didn't explain anything about Charlie Hunnam also having appeared, or Reese Witherspoon—or Dakota Fanning…and though I was no longer having to listen to deadmau5 just to sleep his counterpart had started appearing on very vivid dreams—which I did not necessarily have to write down to remember, at all, however—this one was surprisingly strange, rather hilarious, and not at all explicit. I awoke craving barbecue ribs and scraping my head, wondering what I might need to do today to move forward and progress…but I was at a loss, for words, at least—but certainly not for music. There was a gathering at Kurt (and Katey's) house celebrating some show or something—there was a big party with dinner and deadmau5 was playing; when deadmau5 came out and hopped on the mic nobody could hear him—the mic wasn't connected—his helmet was also much different, it looked like some sort of ancient incan mouse head carved from stone (but obviously not stone-/ which was rectangular and had green lights for the eyes and mouth—I questioned whether or not it was really Joel and looked at his arms to confirm that it was using his tattoos—I was excited to hear deadmau5–it was an intimate gathering so we were all situated around the decks—Katey (Segal) went up to the decks and adjusted a chord which looked like a jumper cable and the mic turned on, and I thought “aww, thanks, mom” —then someone—either Kurt or Katey went to the other side and plugged the mic all the way in so we could hear Joel over the mic. He played an anthem sounding song and I thought “nice, new deadmau5 “, but the song sounded old, like pre-2010 deadmau5; either way, I was just happy to listen to new deadmau5. I got on the floor in front of the decks and put my arms behind mu head to rest, then crossed my legs in the shape of a figure-eight and thought “ah, the way I always listen to deadmau5, anyway” (—which is not true…but perhaps I just meant laying on my back? Idk.) I rocked to the music like a pendulum and faded away in my mind—I didn't seem to think it was strange and neither did anyone else; it felt normal. after the show while everybody was eating (I think it was barbecue/soul food) Joel went to smoke a cigarette and indicated I should follow him—which I was weary of, but I did; he went quickly down the 3rd out of 4 stair cases; and I mistakenly went down the second—I realized my mistake and peered at him through the bars; the staircases (which were apparently the entry/exit to Kurt Sutter's house was like the lower level of a pyramid which seemed Mayan or Incan in style; I went down the 3rd staircase and did not see Joel, so went all the way to the bottom and climbed up another set of stairs, frustrated. “Kurt sutter has the worst house ever!” I said or thought, as I approached Joel at the top of another staircase, which was half the length of the others; it appeared I had somehow ended up on the other side—he sat in an opening that was colorful, though the paint was wearing, and moved himself from a colorful patch and said “ew, orange!” I sat on the wall next to him trying not to look at him and he made me so nervous (not because he was famous, but because I found him to be cute; we actually both seemed to be famous throughout the whole dream—as there were other famous people at Kurt and Katey's gathering, which included Charlie hunnam and many cast members from sons of anarchy, who were all shirtless.) anywho. I sat next to Joel and looked up at him; he seemed so tall and as if his head was in a plastic fish bowl, with masking tape at the bottom; I looked down and there were a pair of white baby crocs wrapped individually in plastic— I said “aww”, because they were baby sized—but then “yugh!” And kicked them away, Joel was like “why???” And I said “because they're crocs,” then we had a really weird conversation about the the rubber seal on a bottle of baby soap (that doesn't exist) and the dollar store that didn't make any sense at all—something about using the rubber seal to escape and swim to the other side—but then having to swim back anyway because you forgot something at the dollar store. It did not make sense—at all—but we both agreed that we loved the dollar store for whatever reason. “Joel,” I asked “can I ask you a question?” “Sure”, he said “what's it like to have done what you've done with your music—I mean really.” That's not what I wanted to ask; it was a cover question and he seemed to know it “no.” He said. “Why?” I asked, and he responded “because I'm going to ask you something.” I said “okay…l and I wanted to know what— but I was quiet. “I always go first” he said, slipping off his blue cotton boxers without taking off his shorts—which was impressive. “Okay.” Then, a strange dark skinned boy— approached us, first stopping at Joel, and kissing his hand—then coming to me—the boy had an Afro and was dressed in some tribal getup, and had heavy metal snake earrings, which I didn't like—when he went to kiss my hand, he opened his mouth to bite me instead—I pulled my arm away, which I realized had been covered in some kind of lavish warrior's attire, a colorful arm band that went all the way up my arm; “I'm not gonna fight you!” I said, and as I tried to kick him away the boy reached for my foot to bite it, and I thought “now I'll have a bite mark to match the one on my hand…” but didn't want to be bitten again, so as I kicked him, I suddenly realized I was in a dream, and that Joel was still beside me, but fading away—I was waking up. Joel…Joel…Joel…!!!”, before “FUCK.” I wanted to know what Joel was going to ask, but was suddenly awake, my foot still pointed and stretched as if I were going to kick; I could still feel the imprint of his mouth on my right foot and as I awoke. “Goddammit!” I thought, reaching for my phone to begin to write, and becoming overtaken by the baseline of a song I couldn't quite recall, looping at first in the back, and then, in the front of my mind—- “Hm.” , I thought. Now I was very awake—I rested my foot to a normal position. “WHAT THE FUCK.” I thought. I very rarely dreamt about Joel (and never about deadmau5) but it was a very strange dream. There was nothing sexual about it—and I indeed seemed more impressed that he had taken off his boxers than anything under them, without taking off his basketball shorts—and, as I reflected—it was weird that he was wearing basketball shorts. “What a weird fucking dream.” I was certainly more calm inside the dream, but now, upon waking, was confused, alightly nervous, and very angry at the dark skinned Afro boy for trying to fight and bite me—which of course, reminded me of the fight with my roommate weeks earlier, from which I still did have the half-moon shaped bite marks, even after all that time—and it was, strangely enough a half-Moon outside. The baseline rolled on and became louder in my mind, reaching full form— “This is the Hook.” ‘Oh, yeah…' I thought. ‘It's catchy. You like it.' “Yeah.” I thought. “Okay.” “I guess we'll start there.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
I hate country music You know why? You all sound like slave owners. Yup. Country music just sounds racist, Well, it is racist. Even that shit was stolen— Country music is derived from the songs slaveowners used to steal from their slaves x Yes. I'm a sovereign submissive, A subtle subordinate Look at wrist Warm winds, SZA First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief I'm this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/hesees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit LIL BIIIIIIIITZZZ. I think we can all agree the cringiest trend ever is the crocs trend. The insignia of fucking laziness. I don't care who you are— if I see you wearing fucking crocs I'm going to assume you're stupid; one, cause you follow what everyone else around you is doing--and two because you think it looks acceptable. It looks dumb. It looks stupid “But they're comfortable. You know what? There are other comfortable shoes that are more functional— I wear nikes. They're slip ons, no laces— they're cozy as shit And you know what? I can outrun a dog if it's chasing me, trying to bite my ass. This trend is horrible. And you know what? It's gotten so bad to the point where, if I see someone wearing crocs, and they've actually got the sling on—I respect them for it! Not all the way, but a little more. Like hey—you tried. You tried today. But the fucking crocs the sling over the top— You're fucking lazy. I don't give a fuck what kind of job you work— There's no excuse for fucking lazy. Clean up after yourself! Do your dishes! Wash your ass! Put shoes on! —Real fucking shoes! Unless you're an actual like, nurse or 87 years old, crocs are not acceptable! I don't care! People are lazy now. “Tales of a Superstar DJ” “Strange Dream5” I had been been having very strange dreams and a lot of them happened to have been starring Kurt Sutter which I found strange— but I had been writing a lot lately, which didn't explain anything about Charlie Hunnam also having appeared, or Reese Witherspoon—or Dakota Fanning…and though I was no longer having to listen to deadmau5 just to sleep his counterpart had started appearing on very vivid dreams—which I did not necessarily have to write down to remember, at all, however—this one was surprisingly strange, rather hilarious, and not at all explicit. I awoke craving barbecue ribs and scraping my head, wondering what I might need to do today to move forward and progress…but I was at a loss, for words, at least—but certainly not for music. There was a gathering at Kurt (and Katey's) house celebrating some show or something—there was a big party with dinner and deadmau5 was playing; when deadmau5 came out and hopped on the mic nobody could hear him—the mic wasn't connected—his helmet was also much different, it looked like some sort of ancient incan mouse head carved from stone (but obviously not stone-/ which was rectangular and had green lights for the eyes and mouth—I questioned whether or not it was really Joel and looked at his arms to confirm that it was using his tattoos—I was excited to hear deadmau5–it was an intimate gathering so we were all situated around the decks—Katey (Segal) went up to the decks and adjusted a chord which looked like a jumper cable and the mic turned on, and I thought “aww, thanks, mom” —then someone—either Kurt or Katey went to the other side and plugged the mic all the way in so we could hear Joel over the mic. He played an anthem sounding song and I thought “nice, new deadmau5 “, but the song sounded old, like pre-2010 deadmau5; either way, I was just happy to listen to new deadmau5. I got on the floor in front of the decks and put my arms behind mu head to rest, then crossed my legs in the shape of a figure-eight and thought “ah, the way I always listen to deadmau5, anyway” (—which is not true…but perhaps I just meant laying on my back? Idk.) I rocked to the music like a pendulum and faded away in my mind—I didn't seem to think it was strange and neither did anyone else; it felt normal. after the show while everybody was eating (I think it was barbecue/soul food) Joel went to smoke a cigarette and indicated I should follow him—which I was weary of, but I did; he went quickly down the 3rd out of 4 stair cases; and I mistakenly went down the second—I realized my mistake and peered at him through the bars; the staircases (which were apparently the entry/exit to Kurt Sutter's house was like the lower level of a pyramid which seemed Mayan or Incan in style; I went down the 3rd staircase and did not see Joel, so went all the way to the bottom and climbed up another set of stairs, frustrated. “Kurt sutter has the worst house ever!” I said or thought, as I approached Joel at the top of another staircase, which was half the length of the others; it appeared I had somehow ended up on the other side—he sat in an opening that was colorful, though the paint was wearing, and moved himself from a colorful patch and said “ew, orange!” I sat on the wall next to him trying not to look at him and he made me so nervous (not because he was famous, but because I found him to be cute; we actually both seemed to be famous throughout the whole dream—as there were other famous people at Kurt and Katey's gathering, which included Charlie hunnam and many cast members from sons of anarchy, who were all shirtless.) anywho. I sat next to Joel and looked up at him; he seemed so tall and as if his head was in a plastic fish bowl, with masking tape at the bottom; I looked down and there were a pair of white baby crocs wrapped individually in plastic— I said “aww”, because they were baby sized—but then “yugh!” And kicked them away, Joel was like “why???” And I said “because they're crocs,” then we had a really weird conversation about the the rubber seal on a bottle of baby soap (that doesn't exist) and the dollar store that didn't make any sense at all—something about using the rubber seal to escape and swim to the other side—but then having to swim back anyway because you forgot something at the dollar store. It did not make sense—at all—but we both agreed that we loved the dollar store for whatever reason. “Joel,” I asked “can I ask you a question?” “Sure”, he said “what's it like to have done what you've done with your music—I mean really.” That's not what I wanted to ask; it was a cover question and he seemed to know it “no.” He said. “Why?” I asked, and he responded “because I'm going to ask you something.” I said “okay…l and I wanted to know what— but I was quiet. “I always go first” he said, slipping off his blue cotton boxers without taking off his shorts—which was impressive. “Okay.” Then, a strange dark skinned boy— approached us, first stopping at Joel, and kissing his hand—then coming to me—the boy had an Afro and was dressed in some tribal getup, and had heavy metal snake earrings, which I didn't like—when he went to kiss my hand, he opened his mouth to bite me instead—I pulled my arm away, which I realized had been covered in some kind of lavish warrior's attire, a colorful arm band that went all the way up my arm; “I'm not gonna fight you!” I said, and as I tried to kick him away the boy reached for my foot to bite it, and I thought “now I'll have a bite mark to match the one on my hand…” but didn't want to be bitten again, so as I kicked him, I suddenly realized I was in a dream, and that Joel was still beside me, but fading away—I was waking up. Joel…Joel…Joel…!!!”, before “FUCK.” I wanted to know what Joel was going to ask, but was suddenly awake, my foot still pointed and stretched as if I were going to kick; I could still feel the imprint of his mouth on my right foot and as I awoke. “Goddammit!” I thought, reaching for my phone to begin to write, and becoming overtaken by the baseline of a song I couldn't quite recall, looping at first in the back, and then, in the front of my mind—- “Hm.” , I thought. Now I was very awake—I rested my foot to a normal position. “WHAT THE FUCK.” I thought. I very rarely dreamt about Joel (and never about deadmau5) but it was a very strange dream. There was nothing sexual about it—and I indeed seemed more impressed that he had taken off his boxers than anything under them, without taking off his basketball shorts—and, as I reflected—it was weird that he was wearing basketball shorts. “What a weird fucking dream.” I was certainly more calm inside the dream, but now, upon waking, was confused, alightly nervous, and very angry at the dark skinned Afro boy for trying to fight and bite me—which of course, reminded me of the fight with my roommate weeks earlier, from which I still did have the half-moon shaped bite marks, even after all that time—and it was, strangely enough a half-Moon outside. The baseline rolled on and became louder in my mind, reaching full form— “This is the Hook.” ‘Oh, yeah…' I thought. ‘It's catchy. You like it.' “Yeah.” I thought. “Okay.” “I guess we'll start there.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
I hate country music You know why? You all sound like slave owners. Yup. Country music just sounds racist, Well, it is racist. Even that shit was stolen— Country music is derived from the songs slaveowners used to steal from their slaves x Yes. I'm a sovereign submissive, A subtle subordinate Look at wrist Warm winds, SZA First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief I'm this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/hesees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit LIL BIIIIIIIITZZZ. I think we can all agree the cringiest trend ever is the crocs trend. The insignia of fucking laziness. I don't care who you are— if I see you wearing fucking crocs I'm going to assume you're stupid; one, cause you follow what everyone else around you is doing--and two because you think it looks acceptable. It looks dumb. It looks stupid “But they're comfortable. You know what? There are other comfortable shoes that are more functional— I wear nikes. They're slip ons, no laces— they're cozy as shit And you know what? I can outrun a dog if it's chasing me, trying to bite my ass. This trend is horrible. And you know what? It's gotten so bad to the point where, if I see someone wearing crocs, and they've actually got the sling on—I respect them for it! Not all the way, but a little more. Like hey—you tried. You tried today. But the fucking crocs the sling over the top— You're fucking lazy. I don't give a fuck what kind of job you work— There's no excuse for fucking lazy. Clean up after yourself! Do your dishes! Wash your ass! Put shoes on! —Real fucking shoes! Unless you're an actual like, nurse or 87 years old, crocs are not acceptable! I don't care! People are lazy now. “Tales of a Superstar DJ” “Strange Dream5” I had been been having very strange dreams and a lot of them happened to have been starring Kurt Sutter which I found strange— but I had been writing a lot lately, which didn't explain anything about Charlie Hunnam also having appeared, or Reese Witherspoon—or Dakota Fanning…and though I was no longer having to listen to deadmau5 just to sleep his counterpart had started appearing on very vivid dreams—which I did not necessarily have to write down to remember, at all, however—this one was surprisingly strange, rather hilarious, and not at all explicit. I awoke craving barbecue ribs and scraping my head, wondering what I might need to do today to move forward and progress…but I was at a loss, for words, at least—but certainly not for music. There was a gathering at Kurt (and Katey's) house celebrating some show or something—there was a big party with dinner and deadmau5 was playing; when deadmau5 came out and hopped on the mic nobody could hear him—the mic wasn't connected—his helmet was also much different, it looked like some sort of ancient incan mouse head carved from stone (but obviously not stone-/ which was rectangular and had green lights for the eyes and mouth—I questioned whether or not it was really Joel and looked at his arms to confirm that it was using his tattoos—I was excited to hear deadmau5–it was an intimate gathering so we were all situated around the decks—Katey (Segal) went up to the decks and adjusted a chord which looked like a jumper cable and the mic turned on, and I thought “aww, thanks, mom” —then someone—either Kurt or Katey went to the other side and plugged the mic all the way in so we could hear Joel over the mic. He played an anthem sounding song and I thought “nice, new deadmau5 “, but the song sounded old, like pre-2010 deadmau5; either way, I was just happy to listen to new deadmau5. I got on the floor in front of the decks and put my arms behind mu head to rest, then crossed my legs in the shape of a figure-eight and thought “ah, the way I always listen to deadmau5, anyway” (—which is not true…but perhaps I just meant laying on my back? Idk.) I rocked to the music like a pendulum and faded away in my mind—I didn't seem to think it was strange and neither did anyone else; it felt normal. after the show while everybody was eating (I think it was barbecue/soul food) Joel went to smoke a cigarette and indicated I should follow him—which I was weary of, but I did; he went quickly down the 3rd out of 4 stair cases; and I mistakenly went down the second—I realized my mistake and peered at him through the bars; the staircases (which were apparently the entry/exit to Kurt Sutter's house was like the lower level of a pyramid which seemed Mayan or Incan in style; I went down the 3rd staircase and did not see Joel, so went all the way to the bottom and climbed up another set of stairs, frustrated. “Kurt sutter has the worst house ever!” I said or thought, as I approached Joel at the top of another staircase, which was half the length of the others; it appeared I had somehow ended up on the other side—he sat in an opening that was colorful, though the paint was wearing, and moved himself from a colorful patch and said “ew, orange!” I sat on the wall next to him trying not to look at him and he made me so nervous (not because he was famous, but because I found him to be cute; we actually both seemed to be famous throughout the whole dream—as there were other famous people at Kurt and Katey's gathering, which included Charlie hunnam and many cast members from sons of anarchy, who were all shirtless.) anywho. I sat next to Joel and looked up at him; he seemed so tall and as if his head was in a plastic fish bowl, with masking tape at the bottom; I looked down and there were a pair of white baby crocs wrapped individually in plastic— I said “aww”, because they were baby sized—but then “yugh!” And kicked them away, Joel was like “why???” And I said “because they're crocs,” then we had a really weird conversation about the the rubber seal on a bottle of baby soap (that doesn't exist) and the dollar store that didn't make any sense at all—something about using the rubber seal to escape and swim to the other side—but then having to swim back anyway because you forgot something at the dollar store. It did not make sense—at all—but we both agreed that we loved the dollar store for whatever reason. “Joel,” I asked “can I ask you a question?” “Sure”, he said “what's it like to have done what you've done with your music—I mean really.” That's not what I wanted to ask; it was a cover question and he seemed to know it “no.” He said. “Why?” I asked, and he responded “because I'm going to ask you something.” I said “okay…l and I wanted to know what— but I was quiet. “I always go first” he said, slipping off his blue cotton boxers without taking off his shorts—which was impressive. “Okay.” Then, a strange dark skinned boy— approached us, first stopping at Joel, and kissing his hand—then coming to me—the boy had an Afro and was dressed in some tribal getup, and had heavy metal snake earrings, which I didn't like—when he went to kiss my hand, he opened his mouth to bite me instead—I pulled my arm away, which I realized had been covered in some kind of lavish warrior's attire, a colorful arm band that went all the way up my arm; “I'm not gonna fight you!” I said, and as I tried to kick him away the boy reached for my foot to bite it, and I thought “now I'll have a bite mark to match the one on my hand…” but didn't want to be bitten again, so as I kicked him, I suddenly realized I was in a dream, and that Joel was still beside me, but fading away—I was waking up. Joel…Joel…Joel…!!!”, before “FUCK.” I wanted to know what Joel was going to ask, but was suddenly awake, my foot still pointed and stretched as if I were going to kick; I could still feel the imprint of his mouth on my right foot and as I awoke. “Goddammit!” I thought, reaching for my phone to begin to write, and becoming overtaken by the baseline of a song I couldn't quite recall, looping at first in the back, and then, in the front of my mind—- “Hm.” , I thought. Now I was very awake—I rested my foot to a normal position. “WHAT THE FUCK.” I thought. I very rarely dreamt about Joel (and never about deadmau5) but it was a very strange dream. There was nothing sexual about it—and I indeed seemed more impressed that he had taken off his boxers than anything under them, without taking off his basketball shorts—and, as I reflected—it was weird that he was wearing basketball shorts. “What a weird fucking dream.” I was certainly more calm inside the dream, but now, upon waking, was confused, alightly nervous, and very angry at the dark skinned Afro boy for trying to fight and bite me—which of course, reminded me of the fight with my roommate weeks earlier, from which I still did have the half-moon shaped bite marks, even after all that time—and it was, strangely enough a half-Moon outside. The baseline rolled on and became louder in my mind, reaching full form— “This is the Hook.” ‘Oh, yeah…' I thought. ‘It's catchy. You like it.' “Yeah.” I thought. “Okay.” “I guess we'll start there.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
I hate country music You know why? You all sound like slave owners. Yup. Country music just sounds racist, Well, it is racist. Even that shit was stolen— Country music is derived from the songs slaveowners used to steal from their slaves x Yes. I'm a sovereign submissive, A subtle subordinate Look at wrist Warm winds, SZA First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief I'm this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/hesees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit LIL BIIIIIIIITZZZ. I think we can all agree the cringiest trend ever is the crocs trend. The insignia of fucking laziness. I don't care who you are— if I see you wearing fucking crocs I'm going to assume you're stupid; one, cause you follow what everyone else around you is doing--and two because you think it looks acceptable. It looks dumb. It looks stupid “But they're comfortable. You know what? There are other comfortable shoes that are more functional— I wear nikes. They're slip ons, no laces— they're cozy as shit And you know what? I can outrun a dog if it's chasing me, trying to bite my ass. This trend is horrible. And you know what? It's gotten so bad to the point where, if I see someone wearing crocs, and they've actually got the sling on—I respect them for it! Not all the way, but a little more. Like hey—you tried. You tried today. But the fucking crocs the sling over the top— You're fucking lazy. I don't give a fuck what kind of job you work— There's no excuse for fucking lazy. Clean up after yourself! Do your dishes! Wash your ass! Put shoes on! —Real fucking shoes! Unless you're an actual like, nurse or 87 years old, crocs are not acceptable! I don't care! People are lazy now. “Tales of a Superstar DJ” “Strange Dream5” I had been been having very strange dreams and a lot of them happened to have been starring Kurt Sutter which I found strange— but I had been writing a lot lately, which didn't explain anything about Charlie Hunnam also having appeared, or Reese Witherspoon—or Dakota Fanning…and though I was no longer having to listen to deadmau5 just to sleep his counterpart had started appearing on very vivid dreams—which I did not necessarily have to write down to remember, at all, however—this one was surprisingly strange, rather hilarious, and not at all explicit. I awoke craving barbecue ribs and scraping my head, wondering what I might need to do today to move forward and progress…but I was at a loss, for words, at least—but certainly not for music. There was a gathering at Kurt (and Katey's) house celebrating some show or something—there was a big party with dinner and deadmau5 was playing; when deadmau5 came out and hopped on the mic nobody could hear him—the mic wasn't connected—his helmet was also much different, it looked like some sort of ancient incan mouse head carved from stone (but obviously not stone-/ which was rectangular and had green lights for the eyes and mouth—I questioned whether or not it was really Joel and looked at his arms to confirm that it was using his tattoos—I was excited to hear deadmau5–it was an intimate gathering so we were all situated around the decks—Katey (Segal) went up to the decks and adjusted a chord which looked like a jumper cable and the mic turned on, and I thought “aww, thanks, mom” —then someone—either Kurt or Katey went to the other side and plugged the mic all the way in so we could hear Joel over the mic. He played an anthem sounding song and I thought “nice, new deadmau5 “, but the song sounded old, like pre-2010 deadmau5; either way, I was just happy to listen to new deadmau5. I got on the floor in front of the decks and put my arms behind mu head to rest, then crossed my legs in the shape of a figure-eight and thought “ah, the way I always listen to deadmau5, anyway” (—which is not true…but perhaps I just meant laying on my back? Idk.) I rocked to the music like a pendulum and faded away in my mind—I didn't seem to think it was strange and neither did anyone else; it felt normal. after the show while everybody was eating (I think it was barbecue/soul food) Joel went to smoke a cigarette and indicated I should follow him—which I was weary of, but I did; he went quickly down the 3rd out of 4 stair cases; and I mistakenly went down the second—I realized my mistake and peered at him through the bars; the staircases (which were apparently the entry/exit to Kurt Sutter's house was like the lower level of a pyramid which seemed Mayan or Incan in style; I went down the 3rd staircase and did not see Joel, so went all the way to the bottom and climbed up another set of stairs, frustrated. “Kurt sutter has the worst house ever!” I said or thought, as I approached Joel at the top of another staircase, which was half the length of the others; it appeared I had somehow ended up on the other side—he sat in an opening that was colorful, though the paint was wearing, and moved himself from a colorful patch and said “ew, orange!” I sat on the wall next to him trying not to look at him and he made me so nervous (not because he was famous, but because I found him to be cute; we actually both seemed to be famous throughout the whole dream—as there were other famous people at Kurt and Katey's gathering, which included Charlie hunnam and many cast members from sons of anarchy, who were all shirtless.) anywho. I sat next to Joel and looked up at him; he seemed so tall and as if his head was in a plastic fish bowl, with masking tape at the bottom; I looked down and there were a pair of white baby crocs wrapped individually in plastic— I said “aww”, because they were baby sized—but then “yugh!” And kicked them away, Joel was like “why???” And I said “because they're crocs,” then we had a really weird conversation about the the rubber seal on a bottle of baby soap (that doesn't exist) and the dollar store that didn't make any sense at all—something about using the rubber seal to escape and swim to the other side—but then having to swim back anyway because you forgot something at the dollar store. It did not make sense—at all—but we both agreed that we loved the dollar store for whatever reason. “Joel,” I asked “can I ask you a question?” “Sure”, he said “what's it like to have done what you've done with your music—I mean really.” That's not what I wanted to ask; it was a cover question and he seemed to know it “no.” He said. “Why?” I asked, and he responded “because I'm going to ask you something.” I said “okay…l and I wanted to know what— but I was quiet. “I always go first” he said, slipping off his blue cotton boxers without taking off his shorts—which was impressive. “Okay.” Then, a strange dark skinned boy— approached us, first stopping at Joel, and kissing his hand—then coming to me—the boy had an Afro and was dressed in some tribal getup, and had heavy metal snake earrings, which I didn't like—when he went to kiss my hand, he opened his mouth to bite me instead—I pulled my arm away, which I realized had been covered in some kind of lavish warrior's attire, a colorful arm band that went all the way up my arm; “I'm not gonna fight you!” I said, and as I tried to kick him away the boy reached for my foot to bite it, and I thought “now I'll have a bite mark to match the one on my hand…” but didn't want to be bitten again, so as I kicked him, I suddenly realized I was in a dream, and that Joel was still beside me, but fading away—I was waking up. Joel…Joel…Joel…!!!”, before “FUCK.” I wanted to know what Joel was going to ask, but was suddenly awake, my foot still pointed and stretched as if I were going to kick; I could still feel the imprint of his mouth on my right foot and as I awoke. “Goddammit!” I thought, reaching for my phone to begin to write, and becoming overtaken by the baseline of a song I couldn't quite recall, looping at first in the back, and then, in the front of my mind—- “Hm.” , I thought. Now I was very awake—I rested my foot to a normal position. “WHAT THE FUCK.” I thought. I very rarely dreamt about Joel (and never about deadmau5) but it was a very strange dream. There was nothing sexual about it—and I indeed seemed more impressed that he had taken off his boxers than anything under them, without taking off his basketball shorts—and, as I reflected—it was weird that he was wearing basketball shorts. “What a weird fucking dream.” I was certainly more calm inside the dream, but now, upon waking, was confused, alightly nervous, and very angry at the dark skinned Afro boy for trying to fight and bite me—which of course, reminded me of the fight with my roommate weeks earlier, from which I still did have the half-moon shaped bite marks, even after all that time—and it was, strangely enough a half-Moon outside. The baseline rolled on and became louder in my mind, reaching full form— “This is the Hook.” ‘Oh, yeah…' I thought. ‘It's catchy. You like it.' “Yeah.” I thought. “Okay.” “I guess we'll start there.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
I hate country music You know why? You all sound like slave owners. Yup. Country music just sounds racist, Well, it is racist. Even that shit was stolen— Country music is derived from the songs slaveowners used to steal from their slaves x Yes. I'm a sovereign submissive, A subtle subordinate Look at wrist Warm winds, SZA First stop, AH, fuck— Well, check this out No such thing as free. No such thing as freedom, either “Just take what you need” Just tear me to pieces, Jesus All we need is A little relief I'm this bitch All we need is A new release, maybe an EP or three Make sure that s/hesees this Do you need me? Do you need this? Please check your subscriptions Or your email Please, pick up this new prescription Fuck dude! I can't just listen to deadmau5 in peace? I gotta do at least three things at once, But right now, I need to focus on crunches Let's not get wasted tonight, eh. Let's go and be racist—- I forget what the name of the game is It's “USA! USA! USA!” The fucked up thing was , the preworkout and the Skrillex hit at just about the same time. Oh, just about? The exact same time. Okay, first of all, this is pre-war Skrillex. It's also Diplo! It's also Diplo—yeah. Don't be too proud of yourself NO CRYING IN THE SAUNA. But this is where I cryy! DO NOT CRY. Oh. *sniffles* Now… You know what happens if you don't cum? Uhhh…nothing? Exactly. You know what happens if I don't cum? What. My balls explode. Just make sure they're in my mouth when that happens. Wow. I don't belong here! Well, where do you belong? I don't know. @99@c Look, I have a favor. What is it. ANo. Oh, come on! NO. NO. Please! I need you to be my girlfriend. Lol. For what? I don't know. How much is he paying you? Like a kajillion dollars. That seems fair. His isn't fair. They're using Skrillex to provoke me. Come earlier tomorrow! Or just, don't come. Don't go! DONT—GO. I am leaving! NO! Yes! No! —and I am never coming back. Do you know who your audience is? Uh. The CIA THE FBI Everyone in The Oval Office. BIDEN nice. The UN. THe DEA The Secret Service. The office of Public Affairs Uhhh… Keith Richards Allison Cooper Sirs Elton John and Paul McCartney, Respectively What—for what?! The President of NBC CBS ACC fox 5, 10, and 13 That's really random. Al Jazeera, al Sharpton And Al Bundy Wait—what Oh, did you just mean, like in this dimension? Uhhh.. This is enter the multiverse YeH WHWRE IS SKRILLEX He died. He's dead. Go away. That's like 3 Skrillex songs already You guys are gonna wake up the devil. What. Stop doing that. Stop doing what. You know what you're doing. You're summoning the devil What are you guys doing? Summoning the devil. In my basement? Yes. Okay. Have fun. Dang, she's so cool. I like her. I love her. What are they up to down there? Summoning the devil. Oh. Cui bono— For whose good or benefit LIL BIIIIIIIITZZZ. I think we can all agree the cringiest trend ever is the crocs trend. The insignia of fucking laziness. I don't care who you are— if I see you wearing fucking crocs I'm going to assume you're stupid; one, cause you follow what everyone else around you is doing--and two because you think it looks acceptable. It looks dumb. It looks stupid “But they're comfortable. You know what? There are other comfortable shoes that are more functional— I wear nikes. They're slip ons, no laces— they're cozy as shit And you know what? I can outrun a dog if it's chasing me, trying to bite my ass. This trend is horrible. And you know what? It's gotten so bad to the point where, if I see someone wearing crocs, and they've actually got the sling on—I respect them for it! Not all the way, but a little more. Like hey—you tried. You tried today. But the fucking crocs the sling over the top— You're fucking lazy. I don't give a fuck what kind of job you work— There's no excuse for fucking lazy. Clean up after yourself! Do your dishes! Wash your ass! Put shoes on! —Real fucking shoes! Unless you're an actual like, nurse or 87 years old, crocs are not acceptable! I don't care! People are lazy now. “Tales of a Superstar DJ” “Strange Dream5” I had been been having very strange dreams and a lot of them happened to have been starring Kurt Sutter which I found strange— but I had been writing a lot lately, which didn't explain anything about Charlie Hunnam also having appeared, or Reese Witherspoon—or Dakota Fanning…and though I was no longer having to listen to deadmau5 just to sleep his counterpart had started appearing on very vivid dreams—which I did not necessarily have to write down to remember, at all, however—this one was surprisingly strange, rather hilarious, and not at all explicit. I awoke craving barbecue ribs and scraping my head, wondering what I might need to do today to move forward and progress…but I was at a loss, for words, at least—but certainly not for music. There was a gathering at Kurt (and Katey's) house celebrating some show or something—there was a big party with dinner and deadmau5 was playing; when deadmau5 came out and hopped on the mic nobody could hear him—the mic wasn't connected—his helmet was also much different, it looked like some sort of ancient incan mouse head carved from stone (but obviously not stone-/ which was rectangular and had green lights for the eyes and mouth—I questioned whether or not it was really Joel and looked at his arms to confirm that it was using his tattoos—I was excited to hear deadmau5–it was an intimate gathering so we were all situated around the decks—Katey (Segal) went up to the decks and adjusted a chord which looked like a jumper cable and the mic turned on, and I thought “aww, thanks, mom” —then someone—either Kurt or Katey went to the other side and plugged the mic all the way in so we could hear Joel over the mic. He played an anthem sounding song and I thought “nice, new deadmau5 “, but the song sounded old, like pre-2010 deadmau5; either way, I was just happy to listen to new deadmau5. I got on the floor in front of the decks and put my arms behind mu head to rest, then crossed my legs in the shape of a figure-eight and thought “ah, the way I always listen to deadmau5, anyway” (—which is not true…but perhaps I just meant laying on my back? Idk.) I rocked to the music like a pendulum and faded away in my mind—I didn't seem to think it was strange and neither did anyone else; it felt normal. after the show while everybody was eating (I think it was barbecue/soul food) Joel went to smoke a cigarette and indicated I should follow him—which I was weary of, but I did; he went quickly down the 3rd out of 4 stair cases; and I mistakenly went down the second—I realized my mistake and peered at him through the bars; the staircases (which were apparently the entry/exit to Kurt Sutter's house was like the lower level of a pyramid which seemed Mayan or Incan in style; I went down the 3rd staircase and did not see Joel, so went all the way to the bottom and climbed up another set of stairs, frustrated. “Kurt sutter has the worst house ever!” I said or thought, as I approached Joel at the top of another staircase, which was half the length of the others; it appeared I had somehow ended up on the other side—he sat in an opening that was colorful, though the paint was wearing, and moved himself from a colorful patch and said “ew, orange!” I sat on the wall next to him trying not to look at him and he made me so nervous (not because he was famous, but because I found him to be cute; we actually both seemed to be famous throughout the whole dream—as there were other famous people at Kurt and Katey's gathering, which included Charlie hunnam and many cast members from sons of anarchy, who were all shirtless.) anywho. I sat next to Joel and looked up at him; he seemed so tall and as if his head was in a plastic fish bowl, with masking tape at the bottom; I looked down and there were a pair of white baby crocs wrapped individually in plastic— I said “aww”, because they were baby sized—but then “yugh!” And kicked them away, Joel was like “why???” And I said “because they're crocs,” then we had a really weird conversation about the the rubber seal on a bottle of baby soap (that doesn't exist) and the dollar store that didn't make any sense at all—something about using the rubber seal to escape and swim to the other side—but then having to swim back anyway because you forgot something at the dollar store. It did not make sense—at all—but we both agreed that we loved the dollar store for whatever reason. “Joel,” I asked “can I ask you a question?” “Sure”, he said “what's it like to have done what you've done with your music—I mean really.” That's not what I wanted to ask; it was a cover question and he seemed to know it “no.” He said. “Why?” I asked, and he responded “because I'm going to ask you something.” I said “okay…l and I wanted to know what— but I was quiet. “I always go first” he said, slipping off his blue cotton boxers without taking off his shorts—which was impressive. “Okay.” Then, a strange dark skinned boy— approached us, first stopping at Joel, and kissing his hand—then coming to me—the boy had an Afro and was dressed in some tribal getup, and had heavy metal snake earrings, which I didn't like—when he went to kiss my hand, he opened his mouth to bite me instead—I pulled my arm away, which I realized had been covered in some kind of lavish warrior's attire, a colorful arm band that went all the way up my arm; “I'm not gonna fight you!” I said, and as I tried to kick him away the boy reached for my foot to bite it, and I thought “now I'll have a bite mark to match the one on my hand…” but didn't want to be bitten again, so as I kicked him, I suddenly realized I was in a dream, and that Joel was still beside me, but fading away—I was waking up. Joel…Joel…Joel…!!!”, before “FUCK.” I wanted to know what Joel was going to ask, but was suddenly awake, my foot still pointed and stretched as if I were going to kick; I could still feel the imprint of his mouth on my right foot and as I awoke. “Goddammit!” I thought, reaching for my phone to begin to write, and becoming overtaken by the baseline of a song I couldn't quite recall, looping at first in the back, and then, in the front of my mind—- “Hm.” , I thought. Now I was very awake—I rested my foot to a normal position. “WHAT THE FUCK.” I thought. I very rarely dreamt about Joel (and never about deadmau5) but it was a very strange dream. There was nothing sexual about it—and I indeed seemed more impressed that he had taken off his boxers than anything under them, without taking off his basketball shorts—and, as I reflected—it was weird that he was wearing basketball shorts. “What a weird fucking dream.” I was certainly more calm inside the dream, but now, upon waking, was confused, alightly nervous, and very angry at the dark skinned Afro boy for trying to fight and bite me—which of course, reminded me of the fight with my roommate weeks earlier, from which I still did have the half-moon shaped bite marks, even after all that time—and it was, strangely enough a half-Moon outside. The baseline rolled on and became louder in my mind, reaching full form— “This is the Hook.” ‘Oh, yeah…' I thought. ‘It's catchy. You like it.' “Yeah.” I thought. “Okay.” “I guess we'll start there.” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.
Today's episode features the incredibly talented International Gospel Star Anisa Fowler. Anisa shared exciting news about her upcoming single, "Jesus All the Way," which features the renowned artist Dee-1. The single is available for pre-order, May 26. During the interview, Anisa and I delved into several important topics that resonate deeply with audiences worldwide. We explored the intersection of secular music and Christianity, discussing how Anisa approaches her music career while staying true to her faith and values. Another significant aspect covered was finding God and light in dark times. Recognizing the importance of mental and emotional well-being, Anisa emphasized the value of therapy. She spoke candidly about how seeking professional help has been instrumental in her personal growth and maintaining a healthy mindset. https://www.geauxqueen.com https://www.instagram.com/theqchat_podcast/ https://www.instagram.com/iam_geauxqueen/ This Podcast is Sponsored by Queen's Arrogance LLC (c) This Podcast is Sponsored by FlexPro Virtual (c) #podcastsforblackwomen #blackwomenpodcasters #purpose #womenempowerment #selflovepodcastsforwomen #podcastsforwomen #podcastsforwomenofcolor --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-q-chat/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-q-chat/support
Sunday morning service at Broken Arrow (OK) First Church of the Nazarene, June 3, 1990. This message on Pentecost Sunday uses several Scriptures from both the Old and New Testaments to emphasize what holy God has done to bridge the chasm between Himself and unholy people. His will has always been for people to be holy. The closing hymn, "Come, Every One Who Is Thirsty" begins at 35:50. Lyrics are as follows. 1 Come every one who is thirsty in spirit; Come, every one who is weary and sad. Come to the fountain, there's fullness in Jesus - All that you're longing for; Come and be glad! Refrain: "I will pour water on him that is thirsty; I will pour floods upon the dry ground. Open your heart for the gifts I am bringing; While ye are seeking Me I will be found." 2 Child of the world, are you tired of your bondage? Weary of earth-joys, so false, so untrue? Thirsting for God and His fullness of blessing? List to the promise, a message for you. [Refrain] 3 Child of the Kingdom, be filled with the Spirit! Nothing but fullness thy longing can meet. 'Tis the enduement for life and for service. Thine is the promise, so certain, so sweet! [Refrain]
03-12-2023 Jesus - All or Nothing. An examination of the superior Lord
03-12-2023 Jesus - All or Nothing. An examination of the superior Lord
03-12-2023 Jesus - All or Nothing. An examination of the superior Lord
Bronc, Dan, and Josh all are actually home and give a recap of the ice storm last week during Ft Worth before jumping into Matthew 24. This episode we look into Jesus words on His second coming, the destruction of the temple, signs of the times, and His warning for us to be ready for his return. Are you ready?Song of week: “Jesus All the Time” by Adam Sanders https://open.spotify.com/track/03vQArAGHgwjlamC9R6Is4?si=csqAIrWRRzWbl5yj217PrA
“Impossible” is often used when something or a situation seems hopeless, but as a follower of Jesus ALL things are possible. In today's episode, Dr. Carol shares powerful stories of transformation and how generosity was a contributing factor. You'll not want to miss this. You've heard about BlackFriday and CyberMonday, but what about GivingTuesday? Dr. Carol Ministries is participating in this international day of giving. We can't wait to bring our community together to support helping others experience transformation and the life Jesus came to bring. Partner with by giving to: https://www.drcarolministries.com/give/
The final words of Jesus: All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me; go therefore and make disicples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and behold I am with you always even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20
Be honest with yourself Unite for the mission Rely on God's Word Never go back An intention without a plan is a pre-meditated failure. The call of Jesus: ALL of you for ALL of him. Our Christian life does not begin with our decision to follow Jesus, but with his invitation to do so.
Recap Title: Discovering the God of all comfort Key Text: 2 Corinthians 1:3 Hello everyone and special welcome to all of you. My theme today is: Discovering the God of all comfort. All over the world millions continue to mourn the death of our beloved Queen Elizabeth the Second. Around Britain the deep sadness of great numbers of people has been on open display as they have lined up for many hours to pay their respects to our longest reigning monarch. And nowhere has that grief been more evident than among members of the Royal family as they struggle to cope with the pain of their great personal loss. The apostle Paul, who himself had experienced many troubles and trials. He wrote in 2 Corinthians 1:3-Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. God is the God of all comfort God can comfort us God can use us to comfort others Apply God is the God of all comfort Comfort is mentioned here no less than eight times in these opening verses from 3-7. The apostle Paul was writing to the large church in the great roman city of Corinth as they experienced many difficulties. And what he was saying to them was that if they wanted and needed comfort, then the best thing they could do was to turn to God and rely on Him. For He was and is, to use Paul's words, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Now although some may be surprised to hear that God can comfort us, He is in fact the greatest source of comfort that we could ever know. Indeed, in the New Testament the Holy Spirit is known as the Comforter or helper. The Bible not only declares the reality of the existence of God but also repeatedly emphasises that the very essence and character of God is love. He is not a cosmic monster who is against you but the great and holy God who is for you and wants to help you. His grace towards you and me is utterly amazing and His mercy is unending. Jesus Christ, God's only son come to earth, is the great example of God's love. In his life he had compassion for all kinds of people, and He reached out to the hurting, harassed and hungry to meet their needs. He himself knew all about intense suffering. Jesus wept. On the cross, the bible says that not only did He die to save us from our sins but that also he ‘bore our griefs and carried our sorrows.' For sure then, the apostle Paul has every reason to state here that God is the God of all comfort but he goes on to say something equally important as we see secondly that… God can comfort us who comforts us in all our troubles… This is a very personal and comprehensive statement. It means that we cannot merely hear about the God of all comfort but that we can actually experience that comfort. And not only can that happen in some of our troubles but in ALL our troubles. Psalm 34:18 says: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 147:3 says: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds Psalm 23 famously pictures the Lord as the good shepherd walking with us in all the circumstances of life. Psalm 23:4 is emphatic, ‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.' Sometimes we find that the Good Shepherds walks with us and sometimes He carries us. The famous footprints poem has a Biblical basis. Is 40:11: ‘He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gather the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart.' Jesus came to bring comfort to us. He fulfilled the words of Isaiah 61:1 which says: The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted. The teaching of the Bible is that we can know the comforting presence of God at all times and in all circumstances. Jesus said in Matthew 28:20: ‘Surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age.' He said in John 14:18: ‘I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.' The Jesus of the Bible is Emmanuel, God with us. And we can know He is with you and with me at all times. We can discover that… He is with us in the brightness of the day. He is with us in the darkest night. He is with us when we are in a crowd. He is with us when we are alone. He is with us in our triumphs. He is with us in our tears. He is with us when we are young. He is with us when we are old. He is with us in life and with us in death. For not even death can break fellowship with the Lord. At the very time when you are in so such inner pain and turmoil that you don't know how to handle it, you can discover that God Himself is there to comfort you. I have experienced this myself on different occasions, including when my own beloved father died suddenly of a heart attack and not least when my first wife died in 2002 after a long battle with cancer. At different times as I grieved, feeling so raw and vulnerable, I felt God's comforting presence as I asked the Holy Spirit to make Jesus real to me. I firmly believe that even when we lose loved ones or when everything seems to be shaking around us, that Jesus is the greatest friend we could ever have. I am still moved by the words of an old hymn: What a friend we have in Jesus All our sins and griefs to bear What a privilege to carry Everything to God in prayer It's when we lay down our unanswerable questions and decide to trust God with a childlike faith, that we begin to discover just what a never-failing friend He is. And when that happens we also see finally from this verse that…. God can use us to comfort others This verse says…so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”. The New Testament teaches us that just as we have freely received so we must freely give out to all who are in need. Jesus said in Matthew 25:31-40 that we must feed the hungry, give the thirsty something to drink, befriend the stranger, clothe those who have none, care for the sick and visit the prisoner. ‘For whatever you did for one of the least of these you did for me.' The business of Christians is to help people both inside and outside of the church. We must share the comfort we ourselves have received, with our kind words, calls, care, prayers and hugs. Even as we face our own challenges we are to reach out to others. Two elderly Christian Dutch ladies found themselves in Ravensbruck concentration camp in World War 2. Although they faced great hardship themselves, and one of them died there, they believed that God had put them in that hell hole to bring a glimpse of heavenly love to their distressed fellow inmates. And it was there that the surviving sister, Corrie Ten Boom discovered that there is no circumstance that need separate us from the love of God through Jesus Christ. As she put it: ‘there is no pit so deep that His love is not deeper still'. Conclusion: Her Majesty the Queen knew the love and comfort of Jesus, through long and sometimes difficult years. And she did her very best, through the great example of her own life and in her Christmas broadcasts, to point all of us to the God of all comfort. We owe her so much and it is my prayer today that everyone who mourns, can also discover the comfort of God and the God of all comfort. Let's pray.
Colossians 1:1-2 (Saskatoon) The post Jesus: All in All appeared first on | Grace Fellowship | Saskatoon Church | Warman Church.
Colossians 1:1-2 (Saskatoon) The post Jesus: All in All appeared first on | Grace Fellowship | Saskatoon Church | Warman Church.
Het was een heet weekend. Buiten was het heet, maar vooral Arsenal was hot. De tropische temperaturen in Londen zorgden er voor dat onze Braziliaanse spits zich nog meer op z'n plek voelde: Gabriel Jesus wervelde en met twee goals had hij een groot aandeel in de 4-2 overwinning op Leicester City. 'I Believe in Jesus, The Arsenal number 9'. Verder is het eindelijk onze beurt voor leedvermaak, vanwege de oorwassing van Manchester United en het verhitte gelijkspel tussen Chelsea en Tottenham. En verder: - Player Ratings: Xhaka blinkt uit, Ramsdale stelt teleur- Creatieve liedjes voor Zinchenko en Jesus- All or Nothing: Arsenal aflevering 4, 5 en 6- 100 Vrienden van de Show = prijs weggeven - Tavares en Balogun maken indruk
Let’s Change the World, Part 5: What to do when everything’s going wrong! Acts 23:23-24:21 What happened to Paul? Paul was taken under the cover of night to Caesarea to stand trial before Governor Felix (23:23-24). Paul was innocent and had done nothing deserving of criminal punishment (v. 25-30). Paul was protected by God for his mission of testifying about Jesus: All the way from Jerusalem to Rome (v. 31-35). The Jewish religious leaders continued their disinformation campaign against Paul as they sought to silence the Christian movement (24:1-9). How did Paul respond? Paul was respectful even when he was being disrespected (v. 10). Power Principle: Respect the position even if you don’t respect the person in the position. Paul was truthful even when others were lying about him (v. 11-13, 17-20). Paul stayed true to his faith even when it seemed like everything, and everyone was against him (v. 14-16, 21). How should I respond when everything’s going wrong? Speak the truth in love no matter what anyone else does. Ask what part you played in any conflict. Never waste any trial. The Big Idea: When you live for an audience of One, you don’t have to fear anyone!
Let’s Change the World, Part 5: What to do when everything’s going wrong! Acts 23:23-24:21 What happened to Paul? Paul was taken under the cover of night to Caesarea to stand trial before Governor Felix (23:23-24). Paul was innocent and had done nothing deserving of criminal punishment (v. 25-30). Paul was protected by God for his mission of testifying about Jesus: All the way from Jerusalem to Rome (v. 31-35). The Jewish religious leaders continued their disinformation campaign against Paul as they sought to silence the Christian movement (24:1-9). How did Paul respond? Paul was respectful even when he was being disrespected (v. 10). Power Principle: Respect the position even if you don’t respect the person in the position. Paul was truthful even when others were lying about him (v. 11-13, 17-20). Paul stayed true to his faith even when it seemed like everything, and everyone was against him (v. 14-16, 21). How should I respond when everything’s going wrong? Speak the truth in love no matter what anyone else does. Ask what part you played in any conflict. Never waste any trial. The Big Idea: When you live for an audience of One, you don’t have to fear anyone!
Luke 20:1-8 Jesus is the Son of Man The Authority of Jesus All right, please grab your Bibles with me and turn to Luke chapter 20. As I say often, if you do not have a Bible or you need a Bible for whatever reason, please come see me after the service and we … Continue reading "Luke 20:1-8 Jesus is the Son of Man The Authority of Jesus"
The Glory of Jesus All the fullness of God dwells in Him Our Former Condition Alienated Hostile in mind Engaged in evil deeds What Jesus Accomplished Through the blood of His cross Reconciliation Peace Our Current Condition Holy Blameless Beyond Reproach If… We continue in the faith
On this podcast we hope to facilitate opportunities to convene and learn more about God through music led devotionals. Let's get excited to enjoy our love for music and Christ in one place. We want to hear from you for our new segment, SHARE YOUR PIECE! Take a moment to enjoy our three minisode episodes (Press Play and Trust, Press Play and Have Joy, Press Play and Breathe) let us know what you got from the scripture or musical playlist. When you're ready email us and tell us about your experience! On today's podcast, we'll get into what anchor scriptures are, our next dissected song, and step into the listening room! Sign up to receive our exclusive “Pieces Made Whole II” Playlist! Anchor Scripture: An anchor scripture is that one scripture that holds a lot of power. It's a reminder that no matter how we might drift off or lose ourselves in the process of LIFE, it'll always help us recenter and remind us of the character and presence of God in our life. Galatians 6:9 - “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Today's featured song: Find My Peace x Naomi Raine Listen here: The Pieces Podcast Official Playlist (Season 2) - Apple Music or Spotify The lyrics say, “I find my peace in you Jesus, Jesus All of my joy in you Jesus, Jesus And I am sure that you never Leave me you'll never forsake me, I find my peace in you Jesus, Jesus When I look around and everything's crazy You are still God and that's never changing In the midst of my fears and my indecision You are my focus fixed in my vision” We'll reflect on the not growing weary in doing good, how the Lord intercedes and prays for us, where out joy can be found, and the latest additions to The Listening Room. Tune into today's episode for the full breakdown. The Listening Room: Check out the songs featured on today's episode! Listen here: The Pieces Podcast The Listening Room (Season 2) - Apple Music or Spotify Missing our old playlists? Access them here: Let the Music Play Subscribe, Comment, & download this podcast on your favorite listening platform. Email us at thepiecespodcast@gmail.com. Follow us on Instagram @thepiecespodcast, Twitter @thepiecespod, and check out our website - www.thepiecespodcast.com! Thanks for listening!
Luke 6:17-2617 The whole crowd of disciples (including the 12 now designated as His emissaries) came down together, and they stood on a level area nearby. They were joined by an even greater crowd of people who had come from across the whole region—from all of Judea, from Jerusalem, from the coastal areas of Tyre and Sidon. 18 These people came to hear Jesus teach and to be healed by Jesus of their diseases. Those who were troubled by demonic spirits were liberated.19 Everyone wanted to touch Jesus because when they did, power emanated from Him and they were healed. 20 He looked across the faces of His disciples.Jesus: All you who are poor, you are blessed for the kingdom of God belongs to you.21 All you who are hungry now, you are blessed for your hunger will be satisfied. All you who weep now, you are blessed for you shall laugh!22 When people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and write you off as evil on account of the Son of Man, you are blessed.23 When these things happen, rejoice! Jump for joy! Then you have a great reward in heaven For at that moment, you are experiencing what the ancient prophets did when they were similarly treated by the ancestors of your detractors.24 All you who are rich now, you are in danger for you have received your comfort in full.25 All you who are full now, you are in danger for you shall be hungry. All you who laugh now, you are in danger for you shall grieve and cry.26 And when everyone speaks well of you, you are in danger for their ancestors spoke well of the false prophets too.
One of the challenges in moving from one town to another is being without friends and family nearby. Calling a new place our home means more than simply moving boxes and furniture, it means establishing new relationships. We have been reflecting on the gift of relationship we have received in Christ. Because of Christ, we have been adopted into a new family. In today’s reading, Jesus uses another word to describe His relationship with His disciples—friends. John records Jesus’ final night with His disciples before the crucifixion. He prepares the disciples for His soon-to-come death, resurrection, and ascension. He knows that His relationship with them will change. Using the analogy of a grapevine, Jesus compares them to branches that are connected to a vine. He is the vine and they are the branches (John 15:5). Their job is to bear fruit (v. 2). But this can only be accomplished if they remain connected to the vine! (v. 5). The disciples remain connected through their obedience (v. 10). But He also speaks to their motivation for obedience. They are not servants, but friends (v. 14). This may contradict our idea of friendship. Isn’t it usually between two equal parties? If Jesus has the right to demand obedience, how is He a friend? In two important ways! First, Jesus calls us friends because He revealed important things to us. He explains, “I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (v. 15). We are not called to blind obedience but to understand God’s mission. Second, Jesus laid down His life for us (v. 13). This is the greatest gift one friend can offer another. >> One hymn says, “What a friend we have in Jesus / All our sins and griefs to bear / What a privilege to carry / Everything to God in prayer.” Prayer is a result of this intimate friendship with Jesus. You can share with Him what is on your heart today.
Today's sermon is from Acts 19:11-20. It is about the miracles God performed through Paul in Ephesus. Also, the seven sons of Sceva try to use the words of Paul to cast out deamons. Here are the three points: 1) The Power of Jesus: through Paul the power of God is demonstrated- beyond anything that the Ephesians had ever seen. 2) The Attempt to Use Jesus: the seven sons of Sceva attempt to use/harness Jesus' power for their own means/gain. It doesn't go so well. We try to do this in ways at times. We forget that the point of Jesus' power was to lead us to him. 3) The Extolling of Jesus: All of this leads to Jesus being honored- people coming to him. It also leads to believers repenting- coming into the light and submitting their whole lives to Jesus. This is how we should respond to Jesus' power and authority.
Do you sometimes find yourself doubting your salvation on the basis of your sin, or weak faith, or lack of repentance, or lack of love, or...? The list could go on!Do you need these things together with the blood of Christ to be saved? Or is the blood of Jesus ALL that you need?
Praying the Rosary is a way to enter into the drama of Scriptures and the life of Christ through the eyes of Mary. Today I walk you through what I meditate on with each of the Joyful Mysteries and invite you to meditate and pray with me.Joyful Mysteries: Annunciation, Visitation, Birth of Christ, Presentation, Finding the Child Jesus in the Temple.All for the Sacred and Eucharistic Heart of Jesus All through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary All in union with St. Joseph.
Praying the Rosary is a way to enter into the drama of Scriptures and the life of Christ through the eyes of Mary. Today I walk you through what I meditate on with each of the Joyful Mysteries and invite you to meditate and pray with me. Joyful Mysteries: Annunciation, Visitation, Birth of Christ, Presentation, Finding the Child Jesus in the Temple. All for the Sacred and Eucharistic Heart of Jesus All through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary All in union with St. Joseph.
When is it appropriate to tell people about Jesus? All the time, even complete strangers in public? And how are we phrasing it? Maybe we're not being bold enough. Or it could be we're not being loving enough. Plus, an example from the Bible where one of the most famous Christians had to eat crow. Rachelle & Carder host a radio morning show in Houston, TX. You can listen on 89.3 KSBJ or online at ksbj.org. The Anything But Quiet Time Podcast is now a part of Hope On Demand! Life can be hard and overwhelming, and you might not always know what to do. Through videos, podcasts and blogs, we help connect you more deeply with God so you can live with hope. You can watch, read and listen at hopeondemand.com.
Click Here to Listen to the other parts in the seriesYour Home is an Embassy (Part 1) - On Mission, Your Assignment as a CoupleYour Home is an Embassy (Part 2) - World Avoiders or World Changers?Your Home is an Embassy (Part 3) - My Home, God's EmbassyYour Home is an Embassy (Part 4) - A Christian's MissionYour Home is an Embassy (Part 5) - A Home For HospitalityFamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. World Avoiders or World Changers? Guest: Dennis Rainey From the series: Your Home Is an Embassy (Day 2 of 5)Air date: August 23, 2016______________________________________________________________________________ Bob: As a parent, should you be teaching your children to be world avoiders or world changers? Here's Dennis Rainey. Dennis: What if you could give them the concept of being on the offensive as they go to school / as they go to college? Instead of losing their faith—as they graduate from high school and never darkening the doors of a church—instead they're on the offensive, not even thinking of losing their faith because they have a reason for why they believe. They've been trained by you helping open the Book and address some of the issues that we're facing today that are thorny—thorny—issues. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, August 23rd. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Are you winsomely engaging the culture around you, being salt and light in this world, and are you training your kids to do the same? We'll explore that today. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition. You're aware of the fact that some people / some married couples aren't fully engaged around God's assignment for them because they're not sure what God's agenda is or what their part to play in it is. Dennis: I think a lot of couples, Bob, never get around to asking the question: “Why are we here? What's our mission as a couple?” They may say, “You know, I've never been to seminary / I've not been trained by some of the great Bible teachers / Bible schools in America—so what do I have to say?” The answer is: “If you are a follower of Jesus Christ and you're in the process of being discipled, you have stuff you can share with others at some level and impact them.” It may be a youth group. You may start kind of like I did— 2:00 —I picked a group that I was well ahead of. I taught a sixth-grade Sunday school class. [Laughter] I taught it for 11 years, not realizing that they were educating me and preparing me, as a parent, to know how to direct our children as they moved into adolescence. You have no way of knowing how God wants to use you, long-haul, with the gifts and abilities He's given to you. Bob: You recently spoke to a whole group of couples. We had spent time with them, over the course of a week, encouraging them to strengthen their own marriage relationship / to forgive one another where there'd been offenses—really trying to build into what their marriage can and ought to be. You decided, after all of that pouring into them, it was time to light a fuse and let them loose; right? 3:00 Dennis: Jesus Christ did not go to the cross to turn families into holy huddles / into little Christian groups that sing Kumbaya around a fire. He put us here to build some fires, and to make a difference, and to do good in the culture. I don't know what that is for you, but you need to be grappling with it—both as a man or a woman—but certainly as a couple as well. I just want to say one thing, Bob, to a group of people that make this broadcast possible every day, here on FamilyLife Today—Legacy Partners who give / donors who give—thank you for standing with us. We're short in terms of the number of donors we need to keep FamilyLife Today coming on strong on this station and hundreds of other stations, here in America, and hundreds of others around the world. If you believe in marriage and family—and I suppose you do because you're listening to this broadcast—and you believe that FamilyLife Today is providing help / biblical help and hope / biblical hope to people, then would you consider joining us? 4:00 Just pray, “Lord, would You want us, as a couple—or me, as a single person—to help this ministry stand strong in a culture of confusion?” I need your help right now. The last seven months have been slower than we anticipated, and we need to pick up some steam here as we finish the month of August and head into the new school year. Bob: You can make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone. Again, we appreciate those of you who have been standing with us this year. If you've never made a donation to FamilyLife Today, we'd love to hear from you. FamilyLifeToday.com is the website where you can make an online donation, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Alright; here's Part Two of Dennis Rainey's challenge to married couples to be a part of God's agenda for planet earth. [Recorded Message] Dennis: So, what if you're a little unclear about your mission? 5:00 Well, I have some tips for you. Just really quick, kind of in Gatling gun fashion, let me just give you some thoughts—that if you don't know what your mission is—perhaps this might be of help. First of all, really capturing your mission begins with surrender. You've heard every one of us, as speakers, speak about surrendering to Jesus Christ. It's coming before the King and going: “You know what? I'm Yours. Tell me what You want me to do. Tell me where you want me to go. I will obey.” Second thing, read what's on the King's heart—read the Book [the Bible]! This is God's heart between two covers. This tells us what's important here—this tells us what is valuable / what's eternal. Then Ephesians 2:10—know this—that He created you for good works: Ephesians 2 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” 6:00 When it says, “We are His workmanship,” it means we are His work of art. God has designed a unique package—in you, as a man / you, as a woman, and together, as a couple—that He wants to use on this planet. He has a plan for you. “Know that God is already at work within you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” I love that passage [Philippians 2:13] because it says, “God is at work within you”—both—“to will”— that's to create the desire—“and to work”—that's to create the opportunity. You want to know how to determine what God's will is? Think about what you're passionate about. Think about what causes you to pound the table and say, “Somebody has to do something about this!” And then, what are the opportunities to invest your life? There are plenty of assignments out there waiting. Ask Him to show you your unique assignment. Pray: “What does the King want you to do today?” 7:00 I knew a woman before she died—three days before she died / close to the age of 90—who was asking those who were caring for her, “What do you think God wants me to do today?” That was the way she lived her entire adult life. Next point—walk by faith. It's impossible to please God without faith. I don't care where you are / what season of life you are in—and you're going to go through some changing seasons that are going to demand you to apply fresh faith to circumstances you may not understand—but I have to tell you—and I'm living by faith just like you—step out and trust Him. Take the steps / be obedient. You don't know what's in it—walk by faith. It's impossible to please God without faith. And then—guys—put a star by this one; would you? Men, as the seasons of life change, help your wife maximize her life, gifts, and vision. 8:00 Barbara and I got away for a four-day planning session. We were going to take the first two days and plan her stuff and the second two days and plan my stuff. The rest of the story is—we never got to my stuff. [Laughter] We took all four days and planned hers. The delightful thing about those days of planning is—God birthed something fantastic. My wife's a theologian / she's an artist. She believes in beautiful things / she believes in truth. And so she took some things that are beautiful and created them for homes so that homes could celebrate the major holidays and do it in a way that helps you pass on the truth to kids, going forward. That really leads us to the next point—point three—Since you are an ambassador, make your home an embassy. The thing you need to do is—you need to do three things. Make your embassy a safe place— 9:00 —a safe place for your family and for others. You knew I would say this: “Keep your covenant.” Don't use the d-word [divorce]. Replace the d-word with the c-word—commitment / covenant-keeping love—that's what builds a fence around the embassy. Kids desperately need the embassy to be surrounded by a mom and a dad who make the place safe. Make your home an embassy! Protect the inhabitants from the outside forces of evil, and kids today—they desperately need to be protected. Trust me! Then, next, train your children to be ambassadors. 10:00 What if you could give them the concept of being on the offensive, as they go to school / as they go to college? Instead of losing their faith—as they graduate from high school and never darkening the doors of a church—instead they're on the offensive, not even thinking of losing their faith because they have a reason for why they believe. They've been trained by you helping open the Book and address some of the issues that we're facing today that are thorny—thorny—issues. Finally, use your embassy as an outpost and base camp for reaching your community and your world. That's really why I gave this message. I've already heard a bunch of you, who are already doing this. I'm just hoping and praying that this will ignite a fire and cause you to start burning, thinking about how you can make an impact in some issue that has been irritating your soul for years. 11:00 So, as a couple, you're going to figure out how your marriage will outlast your kids / how your marriage will outlast your career because you will be on a divine mission so infectious / so important that you will not be able to lay it aside. I can tell you—from having been married for 43 years to Barbara—we faced a lot of challenges, just like you have. We're not done because this little dash between two dates—that will someday be carved on a tombstone—has to represent something other than just what I want to do or we find easiest to do. So what's your mission? What's your mission as a couple? Would you like to be commissioned this evening? Now, I don't have the authority to commission you an ambassador; but I know the One who does. I know where He does it in the Book. In a minute, I'll read that to you. If you'd like to be commissioned, I'm going to ask you to stand. Some of you are already commissioned / you're already in it. You just may want to re-up: “We're in. We're all in.” 12:00 But no one should feel any pressure to stand. In fact, I'd respect you more, if you didn't want to stand, for sitting there. It's kind of like, “Okay; may God meet you where you are.” I want to tell you a story before I commission those who'd like to be commissioned. In 1992, the nation of Fiji had the first ambassador it had had in 105 years come to America. There had been a military coup in 1887—where all diplomatic relations were broken and economic relationships were broken with America—by America with Fiji. But in 1992, the only ambassador that I know came to America to become the first ambassador from Fiji. He served from 1992 to 1997. One of the first things he did was get Fiji water in America. 13:00 That's how that happened—pretty cool; huh? But in 1992, Pita Nacuva turned on his radio as he was driving to work. He heard a radio show called FamilyLife Today. Can you imagine an ambassador from Fiji listening to a radio program by some guys in Arkansas? Well, he kept listening as he would drive back and forth from the embassy to his home, and back and forth. In 1996, he heard us talk about the Weekend to Remember®. He decided that he and Mary would to attend the Weekend to Remember in Washington, DC—only one problem—it was sold out. He called Little Rock to pull some political strings so he could attend, and we got him in. [Laughter] As a result of that conference, they got a vision for how they could impact families in Fiji because they were breaking down there too. 14:00 So in May of that same year, in 1996, they came to an international training conference in Little Rock and graduated, and went back a year later to Fiji, and became the leaders of Family One, which for all practical purposes is FamilyLife in Fiji. Now, nearly 20 years later, they've trained over 7,000 people—300 islands—they've impacted the South Pacific. Pita, interestingly, over those years, continued his political career, not being fulltime in FamilyLife. He went on from ambassador to become the Minister of Health, then the Minister of Tourism, and finally he was elected to the second highest office in the Fijian government. He became the Speaker of the House of Parliament, the second in command to follow the President should he die. 15:00 In 2006, he was elected Speaker. A couple years later, there was a military coup. An armed military officer came into Pita's office, as the Speaker of the House of Parliament, and said: “Your honor, you need to get in your car and you need to leave this place. You are no longer the Speaker.” Pita said, “No. I'm not going anywhere.” They argued for a bit. Finally, the officer said, “Mr. Nacuva, you need to leave.” So Pita went—got in his car / drove back home. From that point on until now, has been fulltime as an ambassador for Jesus Christ and for families. Now, I tell that to you because God has His ways of getting you where He wants to get you. What does He want you to do? What is He up to? 16:00 Would you like to be commissioned? Would you bow your heads and close your eyes? This is not for anybody but you two as a couple. Guys, if you want to turn your marriage into an embassy and become a couple of ambassadors, just grab your wife's hand, say, “Sweetheart, let's stand up.” Some of you may need to confirm your citizenship. You may have come here, not being sure if you're a Christian / if you have a relationship with Christ. Don't miss an opportunity to settle it with God. Let me read this over you and then pray for you. These are the words of Jesus: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. 17:00 “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Heavenly Father, You know every story in this room. Nothing surprises You. You know those who are standing / their drama and those who are seated and their drama. Thank You for their honesty. May You meet them with grace, and mercy, and love where they are. And now for these who are standing, I pray, Father, that You would grant favor to them, and that You would use them, and that we would celebrate for all eternity the victories / the impact that each of these have had for Your purposes and Your glory. Thank You for the privilege of being used by You in Your global work—what an adventure / what an honor. In Christ's name we pray; Amen. 18:00 [Studio] Bob: Amen. We've been listening to Part Two of a message from Dennis Rainey today on our assignment to be ambassadors / to make our home an embassy. And I know, Dennis, there are some who listen to a charge like this and they think: “I don't think we're in good enough shape, as a couple, to be about trying to help others. I mean, we have issues in our marriage.” Dennis: [Laughter] So do we / so do you. [Laughter] I mean, here's the thing—if you wait till you're perfect to get in the game, you're going to be waiting until heaven. So you know—jump in the game, at some level. Maybe you assist someone else who has a vital ministry going, but find your niche as an individual and, hopefully, as a couple—something that will help you build into other people's lives that will outlast your career / your children—that will give you a purpose and a cause to get you out of the bed as you move out of the career someday. You're looking at having some time on your hands to make a difference in other people's lives. 19:00 Bob: Well, I think that's the other thing—there are some folks who would say: “We would love to do this, but our schedule is crazy. I mean, the kids are doing this, and every night it seems like there's something going on. I wish we could, but we just don't have time for this.” Dennis: And I would say, Bob—for some people, in the season they're in right now, they're where they're supposed to be; but even in that season, where you may not be able to have the outreach you would like to have, look around. Keep your head up. I know, when we were raising six kids, we had four teenagers at one time. We found a way to reach out to our kids' junior high and high school and start a ministry that, interestingly enough, 25 years later, is still going on—it's still happening. The needs—of individuals, of marriages, of families—are not going to go away. 20:00 Find a way to provide help / provide hope. What FamilyLife wants to do is—we want to be here. We want to be able to stand with you, when you do get ready to make an impact, and want to provide resources, tools, and a broadcast to cheer you on into the future. Bob: Yes; make sure the things that you are giving your time and effort to are the right things / are the priority things. Once you've determined that that's the case, then press forward with what God's called you to. Dennis: Not every need is the call. Bob: Right. Dennis: You can run yourself ragged in this culture; but I'd say pull back to the big picture and ask yourself the question: “What do I pound the table about? What are we passionate about? What do we find ourselves getting kind of riled up about?” Find a way to take your strengths, and your abilities, and your passion and use it winsomely, with the love of Christ, for the glory of God and for the good of people. 21:00 Bob: Well, and I think this is something that would be good for listeners to chew on and to talk about: “What does it look like to make our home an embassy?” In fact, we have, online at FamilyLifeToday.com, a series of four—I don't want to call them family nights because I don't want them to sound bigger than they are—they're really just guided discussions for the dinner table or for the car ride home / just some questions that you can talk about together, as a family, with your kids about what it means to be an ambassador / what it means to make your home an embassy. You can download a free e-book that will give you these conversations to have together, as a family, when you go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com. It's all free—go to FamilyLifeToday.com and download “The Embassy of the King” booklet. It's available online. And while you're there, check out the resources that Barbara has created to remind yourself and to declare to others that your home is, in fact, an embassy. There's an “Embassy of the King” plaque, an “Embassy of the King” banner, there's a canvas, there's a full devotional booklet that's available. 22:00 Order these resources from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-“F” as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word, “TODAY.” Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; and the toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. I want to take just a minute here and say, “Ya man!” and “Happy anniversary!” to Kwame and Jennifer Selver, who live in Nassau—that's why I said, “Ya man!”—because they live in the Bahamas. Today, the Selvers are celebrating their eighth wedding anniversary. They have attended our Weekend to Remember marriage getaway. We just wanted to say, “Happy anniversary!” to the Selvers on eight years together. We think every anniversary ought to be celebrated. We are The Proud Sponsor of Anniversaries™. Our goal at FamilyLife is for you to celebrate more and better anniversaries every year as the two of you grow closer to one another and closer to Christ in your relationships— 23:00 —that's what FamilyLife Today is all about. We appreciate those of you who support this ministry and help make all that we do happen. Dennis mentioned earlier that this year we've had a little fall-off in the number of FamilyLife Today listeners, who have made a donation. We wanted to come to those of you, who are regular listeners, and ask you, “Would you consider, before the end of the month, helping us get caught up with where we'd like to be this year?—help us with a donation of any amount to support this ministry?” We appreciate whatever you're able to do. You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com; you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate; or you can mail your donation to us at FamilyLife Today at PO Box 7111, Little Rock, AR; our zip code is 72223. 24:00 By the way, if your donation is $100 or more, you're welcome to request a set of three Art of Marriage® Connect Bible studies designed for small group use; or husbands and wives can use these individually. These Bible studies on marriage are our thank-you gift in appreciation for your generous support; and we want to say, “Thank you,” again. We hope you can tune in tomorrow. Barbara Rainey's going to be here. We're going to continue our conversation about how our homes can be an outpost and how we can be ambassadors for Christ in our culture. Hope you can tune in for that. I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.______________________________________________________________________________ Copyright © FamilyLife. All rights reserved. www.FamilyLife.com
The Best Podcast in Baltimore! This week on an all-new episode, the legendary duo, Rob Lee and Dann D, go deep on the ’90s, death updates and writing skills. Dann talks about his week spent with too much Fiverr work and a sinus infection. Rob discusses 20 discontinued things you can buy on eBay right now. Between Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cereal, Melody Pops and Mighty Max, come get lost in the ultimate nostalgia vortex. Plus Dann talks about the various digital pets he and his sister once owned. Will Dann ever find another pair of Reebok Pumps? Will James Lipton finally interview Jesus? All we know for certain is Nano Babies are just as difficult to raise as real babies. Crown City Cook Dann discusses a Ranker list of discontinued McDonald’s items that people won’t stop talking about. Can you guess which one is Dann’s favorite? Do you miss the McSalad Shakers as much as we do? Geek Stuff Quick stories involve the PlayStation 2 turning 20, Atari rereleasing Missile Command and Zynga Games getting sued! New Challenger Will Dann survive a solo gauntlet of stories involving: - Semen-filled Needles - Hearse Heists - Pornographic Seagulls - Judge Judy - Leap Year Marriage Proposals - Gross Ass Collections Whether you stream now or download and listen later, you don’t want to miss the episode of MASTERMIND TEAM'S ROBCAST approved by 8 out of 10 dusty millennials. Also, check out Getting To The Truth In This Art. This is our podcast where Rob Lee interview local tastemakers, entrepreneurs and artists to get stories from real people about the real Baltimore. New episodes every Friday. Find MTRPodcasts on your favorite podcatcher! Share, Like & Subscribe. Follow the legendary duo on Instagram. Feel free to drop us a line at our mailbag, yes it's a real email - jerkasscomments@gmail.com Like Mtrthenetwork on Facebook | mtrpodcasts
On today's session, we continue the Faith 101 series with a new teaching titled "Faith In The Name of Jesus". In this session, we learn the difference between a "maternity" house and a "maturity" house. What does the name of Jesus actually mean and what is its intended use? Do motives matter to Jesus? All of this and more are covered in today's session. Share your thoughts with us via social media using the hashtags #HartRamsey and/or #OnCourse. Rate, download, share, and subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, GooglePlay, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ever hear someone say “All I need is Jesus” and wonder what they actually meant beyond the cliche? Where did this phrase come from and just how “Biblical” is it? Join me today as we delve into this worn out phrase and into the heart of what it means and doesn’t mean. And as always, […] The post Episode 130 | Jesus All and Other Cliches appeared first on Tony Wuerfel.
11/24/19 - If you knew exactly what God wanted you to do so you would have life and treasure would you do it? Even if it was a really hard thing? In a conversation with a rich young man, King Jesus loves the young man by revealing the one thing that is keeping him from entering God's kingdom. If you knew the one keeping you from God's kingdom and knowing Jesus, would you be willing to give it up? MESSAGE NOTES: Read Mark 10:17-31 ESV Only God is Good Romans 3:23 - “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” God is good! Psalm 34:8, Psalm 25:8, Exodus 34:6, 1 Chronicles 16:34, Ezra 3:11, Matthew 7:11, James 1:17 10 Commandments You know the commandments - do we? Can you name the 10 commandments? Do you know what God commands you to do? 10 Commandments No other gods before me Make nor worship any idols Don’t misuse God’s name Keep the Sabbath Honor parents Don’t murder Don’t commit adultery Don’t steal Don’t lie Don’t covet Matthew 22:37-39 - Love God; Love Others as Yourself Jesus Others Yourself Jesus Loved Him - Most loving thing Jesus can do is point out our sin and allow us to bring it to him Verse 21 - Jesus loved him (then told him what was sitting on the throne of his heart) Are my possessions (or “kings”) “saving” me or is Jesus? All things are possible with Jesus; things can be impossible for man Only God is all-powerful There are rewards in the future and in heaven - but not without persecution/trials Persecution in Greek means persecution = hostility and ill-treatment, especially because of race or political or religious beliefs What “king” is keeping you from entering the Kingdom of God? SUNDAY'S WORSHIP MUSIC PLAYLIST: For more about Crossroads Church Glenwood visit www.ccglenwood.com.
Are we more honest when we know we’re being watched? Do we need God to be good (as Richard Dawkins asks)? Do you have a relationship with whomever you want to share Christ? Controversy in the Latin Mass? How bold is your endeavor to meet Jesus? All show notes at Honesty, Encounter Christ, Latin Mass, Endeavor/Cost 11.6.19 - This podcast produced by Relevant Radio
We all know about power, and what it is. Atom bombs, tornadoes, thunderstorms, the wind, high tension power lines, the government, the police, bullies - these are examples of power that we cannot resist.----On the other hand, faith, or trust, is a thing of the mind and heart. It has no intrinsic power or force at all. Ideals, the truth, logic, and reason, are all mental and spiritual constructs that do not deploy physical force at all.----That is why the Apostle Paul stressed the importance that our faith not be placed in the wisdom of this world, but rather, in the power of God.----Notice where the strength is- not in our faith, but in God's power- Our faith can be weak, just so long as the power isn't-----Recall the poor man who brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus, and cried out for Jesus to help him. Jesus replied that if the man believed, all things were possible. To which the man cried out, -Lord, I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief------The strength of the poor man's faith was irrelevant. All that mattered was that he trusted in the mighty power of Jesus-----All through the Old Testament, the Lord's people were exhorted to trust in the power of God Who had made the world-----It is the Lord Jesus, the second person of the Godhead, Who indeed made all things. Not only so, He upholds all things by His powerful Word.----Therefore we know Jesus has the power of God, in Whom we are to trust. He Who made the world, can raise poor dead people from the dead. No doubt Jesus has the power to rescue His people who trust in Him.----But does Christ have the power to forgive sin, and to save us from God's wrath for our crimes-----It was the cross that got Jesus that power-
Grief is the application. Death is the subject. Our culture doesn’t believe in death. But Christianity does - and it has an answer: resurrection. How dead was Jesus? All dead, not just mostly dead. What can be gain from embracing death? Life.
Do I want to be in a relationship with Jesus? All of us need a relationship with God. We go into those situations with a relationship with God.Or we go into those situations alone. Add notesJesus desires to be my friend. John 15:13–15 (NIV84) 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends (“philos”—brotherly love). 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. Add notesACCEPTANCE - Matthew 9:13 (NIV84) 13 "But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” JOY - John 15:11 (NIV84) 11 "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." Add notesPEACE - John 14:27 (NIV84) 27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."REST - Matthew 11:28–30 (NIV84) 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
**REBROADCAST** "O Lord, I beseech thee, let now thine ear be attentive to the prayer of thy servant, and to the prayer of thy servants, who desire to fear thy name..."Nehemiah 1:11 So much has happened this summer. The world watched as the U. S. was struck with hurricane after hurricane. We watched as Puerto Rico and the Caribbean were decimated by them. Bangladesh flooded and destroyed villages and killed many more. Thousands left without homes. The ground shook in Mexico and took the lives of many. We have watched as heads of state in various countries bicker back and forth about nuclear power and weapons of destruction. Apathy has grown in our youth. Despondency in our elderly. Complacency in our adults. In our own personal lives, we have failed relationships, painful pasts, uncertain futures, a rocky present, illness-racked bodies, lint filled pockets, unrealized dreams, wakeful nights, and tortured minds. The hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" says "What a friend we have in Jesus/All our sins and griefs to bear/What a privilege to carry/Everything to God in prayer Often, we think of prayer as the last line of defense when it's our first level of attack. We will be praying for all of us today. Call in at 646-668-8485, press 1 to be live on air. Or, download Stitcher on your mobile device. Or, click on the link here:http://tobtr.com/10823335.
Easter 2018 Part 6: Why the Cross of Jesus? All human beings, in their natural state, are born sinners and have rebelled against God (Romans 3:23). However, because of Jesus’ death on the cross God offers forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7), Peace (Romans 5:1) and reconciliation with Himself, so that we are no longer His enemies (2 Corinthians 5:19). Through the cross of Jesus Christ, and only through the cross, we are made just before God (Romans 3:24-26), it cleanses us from sin (1 John 1:7) and makes us right before Almighty God (2 Corinthians 5:21). Because of the Cross, we have direct access to God (Ephesians 2:18) and Jesus Christ intercedes for us (Hebrews 2:17-18). Because of Jesus Christ’s death on a Roman cross, all those who follow Him have freedom from the power of slavery to sin (Galatians 5:1) and freedom from the power of the devil (Hebrews 2:14). None of the above things are true if we do not follow Jesus. Listen to, or download the mp3 file using the link before to hear more on this subject. Discover for yoruself Why Jesus went to the cross How it was a solution to the problem of human sin and suffering Defeating satan and death How we should respond to His death. Click or Tap here to listen to or save this as an audio mp3 file ~ You can now purchase our Partakers books! Please do click or tap here to visit our Amazon site! Click or tap on the appropriate link below to subscribe, share or download our iPhone App!
Who were the Pharisees of the gospels and why did Jesus oppose them with such ferocity? What does that look like today and how are we similar to them? Most importantly, how can we learn to not be like the Pharisees and to be more like Jesus? All these things are talked about in this episode of Let's Unpack It. Here are some links to info that I used during this podcast: http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/pharisees-sadducees-and-essenes http://www.oxfordbiblicalstudies.com/article/opr/t94/e1462 Here are the social links: https://www.facebook.com/letsunpackit/ https://twitter.com/joshdolar
"O Lord, I beseech thee, let now thine ear be attentive to the prayer of thy servant, and to the prayer of thy servants, who desire to fear thy name..."Nehemiah 1:11 So much has happened this summer. The world watched as the U. S. was struck with hurricane after hurricane. We watched as Puerto Rico and the Caribbean were decimated by them. Bangladesh flooded and destroyed villages and killed many more. Thousands left without homes. The ground shook in Mexico and took the lives of many. We have watched as heads of state in various countries bicker back and forth about nuclear power and weapons of destruction. Apathy has grown in our youth. Despondency in our elderly. Complacency in our adults. In our own personal lives, we have failed relationships, painful pasts, uncertain futures, a rocky present, illness-racked bodies, lint filled pockets, unrealized dreams, wakeful nights, and tortured minds. The hymn, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" says "What a friend we have in Jesus/All our sins and griefs to bear/What a privilege to carry/Everything to God in prayer Often, we think of prayer as the last line of defense when it's our first level of attack. We will be praying for all of us today. Call in at 646-668-8485, press 1 to be live on air. Or, download Stitcher on your mobile device. Or, click on the link here: http://tobtr.com/10304349.
Men's Conference 2017 Build 2017 - Deliberate Discipling 24/03/17 - Camp Toukley Session 1 The Definition of Discipleship (49.26)Daryl Bay Key Verses: Matthew 28:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 2:7-13, 2 Timothy 2:1-7 Introduction What is your little white ball? Answer: Matthew 28:18-20 Our marching orders are clear (“make disciples” -> go, baptise, teach) Our mission is focused on Jesus (“All authority on heaven and earth has been given to me…I will be with you always…”) Three Basic Elements of Discipleship 1. Truth (v2)2 Timothy 3:16-17 Luke 8:4-21 John 8:31-32 2 Corinthians 4:1-6 2. Relationship (v2) Philippians 4:9 2 Timothy 3:10-11 1 Thessalonians 2:8-10 Philippians 3:17: “Join with others in following my example and take special note of those who live according to the pattern we gave to you.” 3. Multiplication (v2) Don’t just learn for yourself, learn for others There is nothing better that you can do with your life than to invest it in making disciples of Jesus Christ “One of the first verses of Scripture that Dawson Trotman, founder of the Navigators, encouraged me to memorise was: “And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also. “ (2 Timothy 2:2 KJV) This is like a mathematical formula for spreading the gospel and enlarging the church. Paul taught Timothy; Timothy shared what he knew with faithful men; these faithful men would then teach others also. And so the process goes on and on. If every believer followed this pattern, the church could reach the entire world in one generation! Mass crusades, in which I believe and to which I have committed my life will never finish the Great Commission; but a one-to-one ministry will.” (Billy Graham) Conference Handbook here
Daniel goes solo in a special Thanksgiving episode, talking about why and how to make gratefulness and thankfulness a part of your everyday life. Notes/Outline: Where we're going with this episode - make gratefulness and thanksgiving a year-round thing that will help you personally and as a leader Marissa Levin in Inc.com talking about the best ways to start your day I often ask our guests how they like to start their day, and this has come up as an answer #2 is Practice Gratitude Starting with gratitude doesn't remove the challenges that are ahead of us, but help us get into the right mindset to take them on Lifehack.org article Gratitude is the number one ritual to empower your day and change your life It is not happy people who are thankful, but thankful people who are happy Brian Biro (Episode 002) - When asked how he starts his day, responded that he asks himself what he's thankful for and says thanks. Lewis Howes on Gratitude Turns what we have into being enough Avoid comparison and relativity Always someone with more than us As a leader, always someone more successful But gratefulness for what you do have is empowering, no matter how small Gary Vaynerchuck - "my energy, every single ounce of it, comes from gratitude." Born in former Soviet Union and parents moved here when he was a kid Now a superstar in his space Grateful knowing where he could have lived President John F. Kennedy - As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. How can we act with gratitude/thankfulness? Tell people your thankful for them Do an act of kindness Zig Ziglar - Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for. Ties into the idea that if you are faithful with little you'll be blessed with alot There is a cycle that can develop where you more you are grateful the more you'll receive and the more you'll be grateful. What does the Bible say about gratefulness and thanksgiving? 1 Thes. 5:18 - give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Personal growth experts, life coaches, etc. are all emphasizing gratefulness, and there is a reason it works - because that's how God made us! Philippians 4:12 - I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. If you're in a tough season and need something to be thankful for, Psalms 139:14 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. You are created by God He loves you He made a way for you to spend eternity with him through his son Jesus All of the Earthly blessings God has given are temporary and can be taken away at any time, so putting all our worth/value/hope in those things is a mistake. Put your hope in Him! Closing Don't just give thanks once per year on Thanksgiving Use today as a reason to start a 21 or 30 day challenge to start each day being grateful I'm thankful for you the listener! Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! Next week - Pat Nunley, former Baylor basketball player and current radio commentator; attorney; leadership and executive consultant Thank Yous/Acknowledgements: Antioch Live/Clear Day Media Group – music More here. Jonathan Davis – production Clint Musslewhite – voice over
When people came to Jesus - ALL who touched him were healed. When we allow ourselves to come close to Christ and know ourselves fully and unconditionally loved...we cannot help but be healed
What separates the believers and the "non-believers? Has God planted his image in all mankind or only those who believe in Jesus? All this and more!
What does it mean to follow Jesus? All are invited, but few follow. Jesus calls us to live a new life in Him. We must reject the ways of this world, and embrace compassion, hope and love. Choose to not only follow Jesus, but follow through on living in and with Christ.
Brian and Fr. Shay talk about the Gospel reading for May 25th. What does it mean that a Comforter will come to us? How does this passage speak comfort to queer and transgender Christians? What does it mean to keep the commandments of Jesus? All this and more on this week’s podcast.
Andrew Fishtail Fisher Races around Australia in a V8 UTE with "Jesus – All about Life", emblazoned all over his car. He shares some great stories of how he reaches out on the circuit! He even got a mention on "Top Gear" the World’s number one TV show!
What is the difference between religion and faith? Does it really matter? What is your relationship with God based on, what you can do for Him or what He has done for you in Jesus? All of these questions are answered on this edition of the North Fork Baptist Church sermon podcast.
"What a Friend We Have in Jesus," by Chieko OkazakiWhat a friend we have in Jesus All our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry Everything to God in prayer!Reflecting on these words from a favorite Protestant hymn of her youth, Chieko Okazaki writes with feeling and passion about the relationship each of us can have with the Lord Jesus Christ.Speaking up especially for those who feel disenfranchised and overlooked in the church,Sister Okazaki reminds us to claim the blessings our Savior has in store for us.That's this week on the Cricket and Seagull...
Dual vocal chords, www.angelteddybears.org, The Rosary in other countries, Total Consecration excitement, www.lifeonfire.org, and what shows would you feel comfortable watching with Jesus? All this and more on a special weekend podcast! Visit www.RosaryArmy.com for more from Rosary Army!
Dual vocal chords, www.angelteddybears.org, The Rosary in other countries, Total Consecration excitement, www.lifeonfire.org, and what shows would you feel comfortable watching with Jesus? All this and more on a special weekend podcast! Visit www.RosaryArmy.com for more from Rosary Army!
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.'” —Matthew 16:24–25 “I Surrender All” is a classic hymn that gained notoriety when Rev. Billy Graham began using it as the invitation song during his revivals. The words have such a great message for walking with Jesus: All to Jesus I surrender, all to him I freely give;I will ever love and trust him, in his presence daily live.I surrender all, I surrender all,All to thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all. Surrender is the antithesis of trying to “work” our way into a right relationship with God. A surrendered life allows the Spirit of God to enter into us, shaping us into something greater than we could be on our own. The first and most significant act of surrender we can pray over our kids' is their choice to surrender to the lordship of Christ by accepting Jesus as their savior. But, even after our kids have accepted Christ, we can pray that they surrender their words, plans, dreams, finances, and relationships to the Lord. Pray for our kids to have the discipline to surrender all they are to the Lord each day, committing to live in a way that's pleasing and brings him glory. Lord, you become more when we become less. Please guide [name] to accept you as their Savior and surrender their lives to your glory. Help them know that surrendering to you is a lifelong process as they trust you with their burdens, fears, dreams, and aspirations. God's word speaks: Philippians 2:13; James 4:7; John 3:30; Psalm 32:8Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code MESS for a great deal: http://www.armoire.style* Check out Puro Air : https://getpuroair.com/* Visit HomeThreads.com/MESS today and get a 15% off code for your first order!Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy