Podcasts about ous

Hvordan kan vi oppdage at et barn blir utsatt for vold eller overgrep? Hva skal vi se etter? Hvordan påvirker vold et barn? Til vanlig underviser Annette Johannesen-Bakke, helsepersonell. Hun er fagleder for regional kompetansetjeneste om vold og seksuelle overgrep mot barn og unge ved OUS. Her deler hun kunnskapen med oss foreldre.Har du behov for å snakke med noen etter å ha hørt denne episoden? Ring Foreldresupport på 116 123 (tast 2), eller gå til mentalhelse.no for å chatte anonymt Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

durée : 00:03:45 - L'éco d'ici en Franche-Comté

Espen Rostrup Nakstad er kåret til Norges tøffeste kjendis etter at han vant 71° nord i 2024. Han var også vår hærfører gjennom pandemien.   “Jeg er mest av alt sykehuslege”, sier Nakstad selv.  Han er nå leder for den nasjonale behandlingstjenesten for CBRNE-medisin, som omfatter kjemiske, biologiske, radioaktive, nukleære og eksplosive trusler. Han er opptatt av at influensa snart kan bli et større problem for sykehusene enn Covid, men at vi har lært mye av pandemien, spesielt viktigheten av kommunikasjon for å finne felles løsninger.   Espen mistet sin eneggede tvillingbror Anders i en helikopterulykke for 11 år siden, noe det tok mange år å bearbeide. “Han kjente meg bedre enn jeg kjente meg selv, og jeg tenker ekstra mye på han når jeg er ute på tur”, sier Espen   Nå ser han frem til en ny ekspedisjon til Nord-Amerikas høyeste fjell, og hvem vet, kanskje er det vår nye helsedirektør som når toppen?   

26. mars 2024 I dag har jeg med med Per Magnus Mæhle ved Oslo universitetssykehus som leder sykehuset sitt arbeid inn i en stor EU-satsing på å bygge opp Comprehensive Cancer Centres over hele Europa. Her spiller OUS en nøkkelrolle. Astrid Bjerke er også med, hun er strategisk rådgiver i Kreftforeningen, og har ansvaret for Cancer Mission Hub Norge, som samler alle aktører i Norge som jobber med kreft: Forskningsmiljøer, myndigheter, næringsliv, brukerorganisasjoner og helseforetak - for å samarbeide om å finne gode løsninger på kreftfeltet opp mot EU sitt arbeid. Sammen snakker vi om EU sine ambisiøse mål på kreftområdet, som både handler om å tilby alle kreftpasienter muligheten til å bli behandlet ved et Comprehensive Cancer Centre og å sikre at de som overlever kreft får et bedre liv. Vi er også innom den norske kreftstrategien som vi nylig fikk for de neste ti-årene, som har lagt seg tett opp til EU sine ambisjoner og planer på kreftområdet. En utrolig spennende og interresant prat, som anbefales på det varmeste.

Greetings! Many new things, then, a digression in Phase 2 focused on the influence of gamelan in Western music. Enjoy! Joel e-mail: pushingtheenvelopewhus@gmail.com Blue Sky:  https://bsky.app/profile/envpusher1.bsky.social    3-15-25 PTE Playlist   G's Sabbath - Double Bass: Roberto Cassani / Guitar: Graeme Stephen - Pictish Spaghetti - 577 Records (2025) https://577records.bandcamp.com/album/pictish-spaghetti     Lands End - composer: Luciano Chessa / piano: Claudio Sanna - Lands End - Col Legno (2025) https://col-legno.com/de/shop/15030-lands-end    Pillows - electronics: Simon Grab / drums: David Meier - Porœs - OUS (2025) https://simongrab.bandcamp.com/album/por-s    Strawberry Festival In Louisiana - Stereo Minus One - Dead Petals At The Other - Machine Records (2025) https://stereominusone.bandcamp.com/album/dead-petals-at-the-other    After The Flood - Jeff Greinke - Late Rain - Projekt Records (2025) https://projektrecords.bandcamp.com/album/late-rain    Testing Area - Thomas Poken - digital single (2025) https://thomaspoken.bandcamp.com/album/testing-area    Universe Emerging (10 minute) - Gallanitte - Universe Emerging - digital release (2025) https://gallanitte.bandcamp.com/album/universe-emerging    Intro / Farfisa for Polly Peachum / Sure As Me - Petridisch - Horse Sense: Live at DUALITYFEST - self-release (2023) https://petridisch.bandcamp.com/album/horse-sense-live-at-dualityfest    Parlando I/II/III - percussion: Christopher Clarino / composer: Igor Santos - Parlando - Neuma Records (2025) https://christopherclarino.bandcamp.com/album/parlando    Estampes 1: Pagode - piano: Aldo Ciccolini / composer: Claude Debussy -  L'Œuvre Pour Piano, Vol. I - EMI (1992) https://symposium.music.org/52/item/22-claude-debussys-gamelan.html    "The Joy of the Blood of the Stars" from Turangalila Symphony - Orchestre De L'Opéra Bastille, cond. Myung-Whun Chung / composer: Olivier Messiaen - Mystic (The Musical Visions Of Olivier Messiaen) - Deutsche Grammaphon (1996) https://www.britannica.com/biography/Olivier-Messiaen#ref54011    Sleeping Braid - Gamelan Son of Lion / composer: Barbara Benary - The Complete Gamelan in the New World - Locust Music (2004)  https://www.soundohm.com/product/the-complete-gamelan-in-t    Lamentation & Fantasia Gamelantronique - Discus - 1st - Mellow (1999)  https://mellowlabelproductions.bandcamp.com/album/1st    Poem for Bali - Wendy Carlos - Beauty In The Beast - Audion (1986) https://www.wendycarlos.com/+bitb.html 

Dylan and Mulls link up for a fun win against the Blazers. JWill triple double, Ous shooting the lights out, Aaron Wiggins 30 piece, Joe's passing, Caruso's scoring, Shai's MVP case, forecasting the next couple of games as well as the rest of the season, and more!

I denne episoden av Helhjerta får du høre Mette Svendsen, ph.d. og klinisk ernæringsfysiolog, dele sin ekspertise om overvekt og fedme som sykdom. Mette jobber ved Oslo universitetssykehus, førstelektor ved Universitetet i Oslo og er leder for Norsk forening for fedmeforsking. Hun forteller hvordan fedme ofte misforstås som et spørsmål om viljestyrke, når det faktisk er en kompleks sykdom som involverer både biologi og psykologi. Mette belyser hvordan helsepersonell kan møte pasienter med fedme med større nysgjerrighet, forståelse og respekt, samt viktigheten av å ta pasientens historie på alvor for å kunne gi riktig behandling. Vi får også innsikt i de nyeste behandlingsmetodene, inkludert fedmemedikamenter og kirurgi, og hvordan disse kan bidra til bedre helse og livskvalitet for pasientene. Mette Svendsen drives av gode pasientsamtaler og av å jobbe i et godt faglig miljø. Hun føler seg privilegert som får jobbe med det hun gjør og er opptatt av hele pasienthistorien for å kunne gi gode råd til pasientene. Lytt til en viktig samtale om fedme, stigmatisering, og hvordan vi som helsepersonell kan gjøre en forskjell i pasientenes liv.

Hvordan kan skjønnlitteraturen bedre vår forståelse av mennesket?I denne episoden ser vi på hvordan skjønnlitteraturen kan supplere og berike forståelsen av menneske og vårt indre liv, spesielt i en terapeutisk setting for behandler og klient. Du får møte psykologspesialist og skjønnlitteraturentusiast Eivind Normann-Eide som deler hvorfor han mener god historiefortelling og kunst er et viktig innblikk i menneskets indre liv, som den faglige litteraturen ikke beskriver like godt. Eivind Normann-Eide deler hvordan han har funnet lærdom, innsikt og viktige refleksjoner gjennom å engasjere seg i skjønnlitteraturens verden. Noe han mener har beriket hans forståelse av de han jobber med i terapirommet, men også forståelsen av egen rolle og nytteverdi i terapien.Sammen med Jimmy ser de videre på viktigheten av å løfte frem den lekne historiefortellingen som hjelper oss å skape broer mellom vårt indre og ytre liv, men også hvordan dette bidrar til å bedre våre relasjoner både faglig og menneskelig.Eivind Normann-Eide jobber som psykologspesialist ved Nasjonal Kompetansetjeneste for Personlighetspsykiatri ved Oslo Universitetssykehus. Han er utdannet spesialist i klinisk psykologi og har erfaring fra vurdering av selvmordsrisiko ved Psykiatrisk legevakt i Oslo og Seksjon for personlighetspsykiatri (OUS). Han engasjerer seg også som forsker, hvor han ønsker å berike forståelsen vår for feltet. Eivind har flere publisrte vitenskapelige artikler, der han har skrevet om kultur og litteratur for ulike tidsskrifter og aviser. Engasjementet førte til at han ga ut bøkene “Skjønnlitterære selvmord” og “Bøkene som berørte oss”.God lytting!Vi trenger din hjelp for å fortsette å lage Hverdagspsyken!

Hunting for errors, the lesson in Queens, massive dub sound systems, peripheral vibes. Simon Grab and David Meier discuss four important albums.Simon's picks: Dhangsha – Broadcast Signal IntrusionDJ K – PANICO NO SUBMUNDODavid's picks: Tyshawn Sorey – that / notAlice Coltrane – Journey In SatchidanandaSimon and David's collaborative album is titled Porœs, and it's out now on -OUS. Check out out on Bandcamp. Here's Simon's website, and here's David's website.Donate to Crucial Listening on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/cruciallistening

Tayler joins the postgame show to breakdown another dominant victory for the Thunder, this time against the Milwaukee * Buuuucks* aka the Wisconsin Herd. Tayler breaks down the missing players for each team tonight before giving a brief breakdown of the game. He then discusses his big takeaways from tonight, including MVP Shai, Thunder's Home/Away 3-Point Splits, the Ous being let loose, and some thoughts on tonight's bench players. He answers questions from the chat before discussing the latest big news heading into Thursday's NBA Trade Deadline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tayler joins the postgame show to breakdown another dominant victory for the Thunder, this time against the Milwaukee * Buuuucks* aka the Wisconsin Herd. Tayler breaks down the missing players for each team tonight before giving a brief breakdown of the game. He then discusses his big takeaways from tonight, including MVP Shai, Thunder's Home/Away 3-Point Splits, the Ous being let loose, and some thoughts on tonight's bench players. He answers questions from the chat before discussing the latest big news heading into Thursday's NBA Trade Deadline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dylan and Dolan link up postgame Friday to talk about the NBA Cup win, Dub at center, Shai stepping up. Zai, Ous, and Ajay all looked impressive too! Looking at the Mavs and Spurs games next week, speculating when IHart might return, and should we be worried about the offensive struggles?

3rd Annual Topic: Thunder Fan Event: https://am.ticketmaster.com/okcnba/buy/quickbuy?id=MjY1MQ== Dylan, Alex, and Tyranny link up to discuss the Thunders early season performance! Having their cake and eat it too, Shai in line to get a 5x5, does Chet's post effect Shai's MVP chances, is Ous for real, COOKIE MONSTER, previewing the week, parlaying the Spurs, Stock market, and more!

I denne episoden blir du litt kjent med Tage Lien. Tage er sykepleier, men har jobbet mest i vernepleierstillinger. Han har lang og bred erfaring i arbeid med personer med autisme – men også med pårørende og tjenesteytere til personer med autisme. Han er nå ansatt ved OUS, Regional kompetansetjeneste for autisme, ADHD og Tourettes syndrom Helse Sør-Øst. Du får også høre om denne tjenesten – hva de jobber med, og hva er oppdraget for denne tjenesten. Her kan du lese mer om Regional kompetansetjeneste for autisme, ADHD og Tourettes syndrom Helse Sør-Øst. Er du vernepleier eller vernepleierstudent, meld deg inn i Vernepleierforbundet. https://delta.no/yrke/vernepleierforbundet

Hva er VR og hvordan bidrar det i terapi?I denne episoden skal vi dykke videre inn i den virtuelle verden av Virtual Reality (VR). Du får møte psykologene og forskerne Christer Lunde Gjerstad og June Ullevoldsæter Lystad som nå leder et nytt forskningsprosjekt der VR skal brukes på mennesker i behandling for psykoselidelser. Christer deler også sin reise fra forsvaret, der han har brukt og drevet frem VR som verktøy for mennesker som har traumatiske opplevelser. De siste årene har han videreført dette inn i det sivile, med andre former for eksponering som mot angst og andre utfordinger. June går i dybden på forprosjektet til dette spennende forskningsprosjektet og sin VR reise.Sammen med Jimmy utfordrer de narrativer rundt VR, både rundt hypen men også skepsisen og den lynraske utviklingen over de siste årene. Her får du virkelig spennende innsikt i en verden som er på vei inn i både våre liv og terapien.Christer Lunde Gjerstad er utdannet psykolog og arbeider for tiden ved Institutt for militærpsykiatri og stressmestring/Forsvarets sanitet, samt ved Oslo Universitetssykehus (OUS). Christer har omfattende erfaring med bruk av Virtual Reality (VR) innen eksponeringsterapi og behandling av psykiske lidelser. Han har i løpet av de siste årene vært med på å bygge opp en egen VR-lab i Forsvaret, i samarbeid med forskere fra University of Southern California. VR-laben benyttes i dag bl.a. til behandling av veteraner med posttraumatisk stress relatert til utenlandstjeneste. Videre er han teknisk ansvarlig for forskningsprosjektet RecoVRy, der han koordinerer utvikling og implementering av VR-programvaren i som benyttes i prosjektet.June Ullevoldsæter Lystad er psykolog og forsker ved Seksjon for Behandlingsforskning og Seksjon for Tidlig Psykosebehandling ved Oslo Universitetssykehus og førsteamanuensis ved Universitetet i Oslo. Hennes forskningsinteresser ligger blant annet innenfor kognitiv funksjon, kognitiv trening, kognitiv atferdsterapi og (arbeids-)rehabilitering ved psykoselidelse. Sammen med Jan Ivar Røssberg leder hun RecoVRy-prosjektet der VR-applikasjonen med samme navn er under utvikling. Seks scenarier er ferdigstilt og to nye er under utvikling. Prosjektet er et samarbeid mellom OUS, Universitetet i Oslo, University of Oxford, OsloMet og VR-bedriften Fornix. Målsetningen med RecoVRy er å utvikle norsk tilpasset programvare som lar personer med psykoselidelser øve seg på å håndtere utfordrende dagligdagse situasjoner i VR.God lytting!Vi trenger din hjelp for å fortsette å lage Hverdagspsyken!

In this episode, we dive into the top waiver wire pickups and players you should consider dropping heading into Week 3 of the NFL season. Whether you're looking to replace an injured star or find a hidden gem, we've got you covered! We break down the most impactful adds at each position, highlight potential sleepers, and discuss the players you might want to cut loose. Tune in to stay ahead of the competition and build a winning roster for the weeks ahead!

Téléchargez la fiche du cours :  https://www.anglaiscours.fr/le-piege-des-mots-en-ous-landing-page?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=le_pi%C3%A8ge_des_mots_en_-ous_en_anglais  Savez-vous comment se prononcent les mots anglais tels que… …FAMOUS, DELICIOUS et AMBITIOUS ? La plupart du temps, les francophones ont tendance à prononcer la terminaison -OUS “à la française”. C'est le piège de la prononciation littérale. La terminaison -OUS en anglais se prononce -EUS. On peut imaginer qu'elle s'écrit -EUS au lieu de -OUS, et c'est le cas pour tous les mots anglais qui se terminent par les lettres -OUS. AnglaisCours Club est une méthode en ligne, animée par une petite équipe de professeurs enthousiastes, qui vous propose des formations en ligne conviviales et simples d'accès. Si vous souhaitez apprendre l'anglais cette année, rejoignez-nous sur l'Espace Membres AnglaisCours Club et accédez à toutes nos formations : https://www.anglaiscours.fr/commencer Accédez à un test de niveau : https://www.anglaiscours.fr/test-de-niveau-anglais.html Téléchargez 150 phrases utiles pour bien communiquer en anglais : https://www.anglaiscours.fr/150phrases Accédez à notre site de cours d'anglais : https://www.anglaiscours.fr/ Accédez à notre catalogue formations en ligne : https://www.anglaiscours.fr/formations #apprendrelanglais #anglais #coursdanglais #learnenglish #english #speakenglish

Join us and Ous for a deep talk about his basketball career across different countries and the challenges of raising a family in diverse environments. Tune in for candid reflections on balancing career demands with family life and the significance of staying connected and supportive in relationships. We also discuss nutrition, fasting, and dietary strategies and take a nostalgic flashback to 2000s movies and music!

The guys talk about their own personal recent dynasty trades and incoming offers. We play a little keep, trade, cut and so much more. One of the best OUS episodes of all time. Special Guest: Chris Allen with FantasyLife

Electronic Music From Bleep.com 01 : DABRYE_Tape Flip Too (0'00) (Ghostly International / 2018) 02 : MARTYN_Manchester (1'00) (Ostgut Ton / 2018) 03 : DJRUM_Sex (4'10) (R&S Records / 2018) 04 : FLAME 1_Pog (10'20) (Pressure Berlin / 2018) 05 : INKKE_Rome (14'00) (Lucky Me / 2018) 06 : GAIKA_Crown & Key (16'00) (Warp Records / 2018) 07 : MACHINEDRUM_Kane Train (20'40) (Ninja Tune / 2020) 08 : BLAME_Lift Off (22'40) (Over Shadow / 2020) 09 : AZU TIWALINE_Tight Wind (27'00) (Livity Sound Records / 2020) 10 : EARTHEATER_Inclined (30'30) (Pan / 2018) 11 : OSCAR #WORLDPEACE_No White God (32'40) (Worldpeace Records / 2018) 12 : DAN HABARNAM_High Pass Rambo (35'20) (Idle Hands / 2018) 13 : NATHAN FAKE_Sunder (38'50) (Ninja Tune / 2018) 14 : NHK YX KOYXEN_Parallel Displacement (43'20) (-OUS / 2018) 15 : STEVEN JULIEN_Bloodline (49'10) (Aprcon / 2018) 16 : OVERMONO_Daisy Chain (53'30) (Polykicks / 2018) 17 : SKEE MASK_Dial 27 (58'00) (Ilian Tape / 2018) 18 : ANNIE HALL_D'un Altre Planeta (62'50) (Central Processing Unit / 2020) 19 : PATRICIA_Triune Brain (67'40) (Ghostly International / 2020) 20 : MOUNT KIMBIE_Blue Train Lines (71'10) (NINA KRAVIZ Remix) (Warp Records / 2018) 21 : LORENZO ZENNI_XallegroX (77'30) (DJ STINGRAY Remix) (Warp Records / 2018) 22 : HYPH11e_Barnacles (81'50) (KODE 9 Remix) (SVBKVLT / 2020) 23 : INDIA JORDAN_Rave City (85'40) (Local Action / 2020) 24 : TIRZAH Feat COBY SEY_Devotion (90'00) (Domino Records / 2018)

Embark on a thrilling fantasy football odyssey with OUS, where the excitement of the game meets the strategy of fantasy formats. Join us each week as we dive deep into the world of fantasy football. This week, we will be talking about Dynasty fantasy football, where every decision made reverberates through seasons, not just weeks.

On December 8th, I hosted a webinar called “What “Do Showrunners Look For In A Script,” where I talked about how to come up with interesting and unique characters, as well as how tapping into your everyday life interactions with people can help with this. This episode addresses questions you asked in our Q&A session that we didn't have time to answer. There's lots of great info here, make sure you watch.Show NotesA Paper Orchestra on Website: - https://michaeljamin.com/bookA Paper Orchestra on Audible: - https://www.audible.com/ep/creator?source_code=PDTGBPD060314004R&irclickid=wsY0cWRTYxyPWQ32v63t0WpwUkHzByXJyROHz00&irgwc=1A Paper Orchestra on Amazon: - https://www.amazon.com/Audible-A-Paper-Orchestra/dp/B0CS5129X1/ref=sr_1_4?crid=19R6SSAJRS6TU&keywords=a+paper+orchestra&qid=1707342963&sprefix=a+paper+orchestra%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-4A Paper Orchestra on Goodreads: - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203928260-a-paper-orchestraFree Writing Webinar - https://michaeljamin.com/op/webinar-registration/Michael's Online Screenwriting Course - https://michaeljamin.com/courseFree Screenwriting Lesson - https://michaeljamin.com/freeJoin My Newsletter - https://michaeljamin.com/newsletterAutogenerated TranscriptMichael Jamin:Well, no one cares that you took my course, so zero. No one's going to be. That's why we don't give a diploma out because the diploma is worthless. No one really cares if you went where you studied, who taught you all they care about? Is the script good or not? Does it make them want to turn the page or not? Do they want to find out what happens next or not?Michael Jamin:You are listening to What the Hell is Michael Jamin talking about conversations in writing, art, and creativity. Today's episode is brought to you by my debut collection of True Stories, a paper orchestra available in print, ebook and audiobook to purchase And to support me in this podcast, please visit michael jamin.com/book and now on with the show.Michael Jamin:Hey everyone, welcome to a very special episode of What the Hell is Michael Jamin talking about. I'm here with my guest host Kevin Lewandowski, and he helps out a lot with the podcast, with all my social stuff, and he's actually by trade. He's a writer's assistant script coordinator, which is actually one step higher than writer's assistant, so he's worked on a bunch of shows. Kevin, welcome to the show.Kevin Lewandowski:Thank you for having me. Michael, for those of you, sorry I'm not Phil, I'm just kind of filling in for Phil for a couple days, but I'm excited to be here. And yeah, I hope to tell you all a little bit about script coordinating as well and what that all entails,Michael Jamin:Fill in and fulfill, fillKevin Lewandowski:In and fulfill.Michael Jamin:What shows were you script coordinator on?Kevin Lewandowski:So the big one was Why Women Kill.Michael Jamin:Did we ever figure out why?Kevin Lewandowski:I mean, depending on who you ask, a lot of women will say because of men,Michael Jamin:They kill for ratings.Kevin Lewandowski:Right? Okay, that's better. But yeah, that was, I forgot how long ago that was, but that was, unfortunately we got canceled four or five days before we were supposed to start filming. Our actors had just landed in Canada and then the next day they announced they were pulling the plug on the show.Michael Jamin:Why?Kevin Lewandowski:It could be many reasons. I think a lot of it had to do with we were a little bit behind on scripts and then budgeting and we were still kind of in the midst of covid precautions and things like that.Michael Jamin:Covid, people don't realize, especially new showrunners, you don't mess with the budget. You get things done on time, Ross, you're screwed. What other shows did you work on then?Kevin Lewandowski:So the first show I ever worked on was in 2015. It was the Muppets, and it was funny. I thought if anyone ever caught a break, this is my break. I was like, it's the Muppets, it's going to go on for five or six years and I'm just going to notch up every year. And after 16 episodes, that one got canceled.Michael Jamin:What's Ms. Piggy really like?Kevin Lewandowski:I mean, she is who she is. Difficult. Yeah, she's difficult. She's a bit of a diva. We have to had to cater to all of her needs.Michael Jamin:What about, I'm sorry, and what were the other shows? Screw Miss Piggy. Yeah,Kevin Lewandowski:Screw Miss Piggy. So after that, a bunch of pilots that never got picked up, and then I worked for a show on Netflix called The Ranch with AshleyMichael Jamin:ElementKevin Lewandowski:That was a live audience show and I was there for two seasons. I'm trying to think after that. It's all becoming a blur. I did two seasons of Why Women Kill. Actually the first year I was a line producer's assistant, and so that was interesting to kind of see the financial side of things and see where they decide to put the money in. And then for season three, they moved me to Script coordinator,Michael Jamin:But the Branch was a legit show. That was a big show.Kevin Lewandowski:That was a lot of fun because I'd always wanted to work in the Multicam world. There's just something about show night and it's just kind of a big party for everyone and you get to see the audience's instant gratification. It's just a lot of fun. A lot of fun to work on those shows.Michael Jamin:Yeah. Well now the next thing for us to do is try to get you into one of these jobs so you don't have to co-host with me all the time on thisKevin Lewandowski:Podcast. I don't mind co-hosting with you.Michael Jamin:Oh, all right. Well, we'll see if you feel that way at the end. Okay, that's fair. So we are doing, this is a special q and a. We do these monthly webinars or whatever, every three weeks actually, and we have a lot of questions we can't answer. And so we save 'em for the podcast. And now Kevin's going to feed them to me. He's going to regurgitate them to me. He's going to baby bird them into my mouth, and then I'm going to try to answer them as best I can.Kevin Lewandowski:Early Bird gets the worm or something like that.Michael Jamin:Gross. Kevin Gross.Kevin Lewandowski:And I apologize in advance for anyone's name I might butcher.Michael Jamin:It's okay. They don't need to. I mean whatever if you get 'em wrong. Okay,Kevin Lewandowski:So these first few questions are going to be kind of course related questions. The first one is from Dat Boy, D-A-T-B-O-I. And that person's asking, what are the best tips for making my script shine more than the rest?Michael Jamin:Oh boy. Well, I wish he would. Well, he was already at my free webinar. I wish he would sign up for my course. I mean, that's what the course is. The best tips for making it shine is making sure your act breaks pop, making sure the dialogue feels fresh, your characters are original. I mean, there's no tips. It's not a tips thing. It's 14 hours of, let me tell you how to do it. That boy, I wish. What do you think, Kevin? What's your answer for him?Kevin Lewandowski:I think it's one of the things you always say on your webinars is after taking my course, you'll just hear me yelling in your head all the time about this is your end of act two moment, this is this, this is that. And I can vouch for that and say, anytime I'm looking through a script or even watching a TV show, because of your course and just understanding the story structure, you get those spider senses like, oh, the raising the stake should be coming very soon. Now we're about halfway through the episode, so something better be changing here. And I think it's just, again, everything you say in your course of just knowing those beats when they need to hit how they need to pop will help set your script ahead of amateur writers.Michael Jamin:You're a good student, Kevin.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Thanks.Michael Jamin:Alright, what's next?Kevin Lewandowski:So km phs, when I say I don't have experience, but I have a killer pilot and I took Michael Jamin's course. How much of a difference is the course going to make in terms of being a desirable hire?Michael Jamin:No one cares that you took my course. So zero no one's. That's why we don't give a diploma out because the diploma is worthless. No one really cares if you went where you studied, who taught you all they care about, is the script good or not? Does it make them want to turn the page or not? Do they want to find out what happens next or not? So I wish I could give you a better answer than that, but it's not the degree. The degree isn't worth anything. Hopefully the knowledge is worth something.Kevin Lewandowski:I think the analogy I have in my head of your courses, I look at scripts I wrote before taking your course, and it's like when you look back at high school photos and I had the Frosted tips, the pca, shell, necklace, hoop earring, and at the time it was cool. And now you look back and it's like it's pretty cringe-worthy. It's pretty cringe-worthy to see those photos. And now after taking your course, I feel like it's like now I'm wearing a suit and I don't have the poop hearing and I don't have the frosted tips, and I'm not as cringe-worthy when I look back at some of the scripts I wrote a year or so ago.Michael Jamin:Good, good. All right, good. Very good. Impressing me more and more, Kevin.Kevin Lewandowski:Right? Next question. Ous. I'm butchering that one. Nope,Michael Jamin:Perfectly. That's how he says his name.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. What are the most important things an inspiring writer should be aware of while reviewing one script before sending it to an established executive or writer?Michael Jamin:God, it's pretty much the same answer as all the other ones. It's like, do your act breaks, pop? Is it fresh? The dialogue, I'm sorry, but it's the same answer, so I don't really have anything to say. Yeah, yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Next question, mal. Yay.Michael Jamin:Exactly.Kevin Lewandowski:In a 26 page pilot is page 11 two, late for the first act break, second act break or second act being on page 20.Michael Jamin:On the 26 page script, the first back page is on 11, is that what they said?Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah.Michael Jamin:It's not terrible. I've seen worse things. I'm assuming it's a single space. It's not terrible. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Colin Miller, what is a good system to practice writing every day? I like this question.Michael Jamin:A good system, a good system. I don't know why you like it, because I'm stumped. I mean, I would just say write a good system is to, I'm most creative in the morning, so that's when I want to write and I try to do my busy work in the evening stuff that's easier, but you might be a night owl, but I would just carve out time every day and just sit down at the computer and write. And don't be so precious that no one's going to look at your first draft. That first draft can be terrible, so don't just get it on paper. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. I think a lot of maybe misconceptions people have is writing every day isn't necessarily open up final draft and typing something. Sometimes it's going on a walk for an hour and a half and thinking about the story you're trying to tell and laying out the beats in, I live in Glendale and there's a outdoor mall. It's fun to kind of just walk around there and people watch a little bit. And sometimesMichael Jamin:The Americana, that's where you go.Kevin Lewandowski:Yep. Right By the Americana.Michael Jamin:Are you in walking distance to thatKevin Lewandowski:Few blocks?Michael Jamin:Interesting. Okay. Alright. You'd like to go on the trolley.Kevin Lewandowski:I've never been on that trolley. I'm always afraidMichael Jamin:You like to ring the bell on trolley, Kevin. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:I'm always afraid it's going to hit someone.Michael Jamin:Yeah, I know. I know.Kevin Lewandowski:I think takes up a lot of the bottom of the path.Michael Jamin:Yeah. AllKevin Lewandowski:Right. Next question. So NRS creates, I guess this is a question, it's more of a comment. It said, agreed. The course is changing the way I see all of my stories. Good, great.Michael Jamin:Great.Kevin Lewandowski:Christina Sini, who's a current student, and Michael Jamin's course, we learned to break and structure story well before writing those bits and pieces of a script glued together that we won't have to cling to anyone to make them fit. We basically learned how to build in order. I think that goes back to your analogy of laying the foundation first and doing, starting with the characters in beat sheets and then outlining and eventually getting to the physical writing of the script.Michael Jamin:Yeah, she's doing great, Christina. She's having a good amount of success early on, so I'm impressed.Kevin Lewandowski:Another very active person in the course, Laurie. John Michael's course is amazing. When you take the class, you also become of the Jam and Facebook community. We do table reads and give each other notes twice a month. Writer sprints, Wednesday nights and mock writer's room. So anyone that's thinking about getting the course, we have this private Facebook group and it's a bunch of great people in there and we are all just trying to build each other up.Michael Jamin:It really is. It's impressive because when you look at some of the other Facebook groups, the screenwriting groups or on Reddit or groups, it's mostly people trying to tear each other down. But because this is private, I think they're not like that at all. It's a community, I think.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah, I think that was a big thing for you because you said you were in some of those groups, and I think you even said you sometimes as a professional working writer, you would say something that people would attackMichael Jamin:You. Yeah. You don't, what are you talking about? Oh, alright. I happened once or twice. I was say, I'm done. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:All right. Next question. VV oral, is it worth it? And parentheses story structure is very detailed in your course, so I think maybe it's worth it, not is it worth it? Yeah. I think it's just more people praising about your course.Michael Jamin:Okay.Kevin Lewandowski:Let's see. Okay, now we have some craft questions. Good. From Mal mavey, they, again, is it okay to end a pilot on a cliffhanger?Michael Jamin:Yeah, it's okay, but better not. You're really counting on the fact that anyone's going to care, so you're better. I think what the danger is, you may be writing towards this cliffhanger thinking that everyone's going to be so, oh my God, what's going to happen if you don't write? If all those pages beforehand aren't so great, no one's going to care what happens. And so a lot of people write towards this cliffhanger thinking, oh, aren't you going to be enthralled? And the answer is no, we don't care.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Yeah. I think trying to work backwards from that I think can be a disservice. And I think it's just you definitely don't want that cliffhanger to be more exciting necessarily than your act one break, because that's what we know what we're following. Lex Macaluso, once I have a great script, what are the practical steps to do?Michael Jamin:Well, once you have a great script, write another one for sure. And then you want to make sure you actually do have a great script. And you do that by showing it to people. And it doesn't have to be somebody in the industry. It could be a friend or a mother or someone whose opinion you trust. What do you think? And if they love it and they say, this is amazing, show me something else. You're onto something. But if they say, well, I like this part, or I like when this happened, or This is a good storyline, then that's not a great script. So you have to be honest with yourself. It's really, look, it's really hard to write a great script. Everyone assumes they have it and I don't assume I have it. So when I do my job really well, I might have a good script. A great script is really, you got to really hit it out of the park.Kevin Lewandowski:And I think just that idea of what is a great script, so arbitrary, and I think it's sticking to the story structure of what you teach in your course can help set your script apart from others.Michael Jamin:Yeah. And honestly, it is those things that I'm looking for. All the things that I say that when I'm reading a script, what I'm looking for and what I'm really looking for is I want a really good script. It doesn't even have to be great because a really good script stands out great or amazing is very rare. I mean, how often do you see a movie that's been made or a TV show and you go, this is a great script. Most of the time you're like, oh, this is really good.Kevin Lewandowski:So if you were reading a script, and let's say maybe the structure wasn't where you think it should be, but the characters were very compelling and the characters were witty with what they were saying. Would you still be okay with that? Or vice versa if maybe the characters was a little bit too much speaking on the nose, but the structure and everything was spot on with that.Michael Jamin:Years ago we hired on a show, we were running a show and we were reading a ton of scripts, and we got to one where Act one was really good. Act two was really good, and Act three was not very good. And we hired him anyway because we were thought at that point, I was like, he did the first two parts really well, I could fix, or we could fix Act three, not a problem. And so I think that says a lot. You do act one, walk two. That's a big deal. He's a young writer.Kevin Lewandowski:Do you see a pattern with a lot of writers starting out is Act two where they struggle the most? Or is it act three or is it,Michael Jamin:Listen, I don't make it to act two. If Act one isn't good, I don't read further. I get another script. If I get a stack of scripts, who cares about Act two? Fact One sucks.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Ben Miller, what screenplays are the best to read, to learn from perhaps the West Wing pilot, which I read in a screenwriting class?Michael Jamin:Well, it depends what you want to write. If you want to write drama, then maybe West Wing pilot, I haven't read it, but you can also learn from reading band scripts. You can say to yourself, if long as you're honest, why am I not interested in this? And if you know what to look for, why is the script not compelling? Is the dialogue, is it the act breaks? Do they now you'll know what to look for? And then the trick is to be honest with yourself. There's been times even in my early career where I might pitch something to my partner and he'll say, if you read that in a script and someone else's script, you'd say, that sucks. And I go, really? I thought it was good. He goes, no, no, you would say it sucks. So then at that point, you got to go, okay, you got to back off. And you don't fight for it. You got to be honest with yourself.Kevin Lewandowski:I think another amazing thing in today's world that didn't really exist when you start out is pretty much any show that's out there right now, you can get access to some version of the script, whether it was a writer's draft or a production draft. IsMichael Jamin:That true? How do you find them?Kevin Lewandowski:I mean, if you just go to Google and you type in Breaking Bad Pilot script, there's going to be versions that you can download. It's always interesting to read those scripts and then watch the first episode and see how much did they change? Because I doubt you'll be able to find necessarily the final shooting draft online, but those first couple writer's drafts are available. And it's always interesting just to see you're reading it and you really, really like this part, but then you watch the episode and they took it out. You're like, oh, okay. That's interesting thatMichael Jamin:If you really wanted up your game, you could also watch the pilot of Breaking Bag and type out the script while you're watching it and then read it later and look for what are the act breaks, literally, what are the act breaks? How do they work? What's the dialogue on that? What's the last line of every scene? What's the dialogue? At the last line,Kevin Lewandowski:When I was doing writer's assistant script coordinate stuff, that's what I used to do to type faster just sit and watch TV and just type out the script as it was happening.Michael Jamin:Wow, good forKevin Lewandowski:You. Because in the room, they don't like it when you say, Hey, can you slow down a little bit? Can I hear that again? No, you got to go.Michael Jamin:Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Okay. Part, what advice would you offer writers to adapt to the inevitable changes in developments expected in the screenwriting field and then years to come? I'm assuming that's in the context of chat, GPT, ai, that kind of stuff.Michael Jamin:Right now, that stuff is being regulated. I don't know of anybody who's using it in a writer's room. That's not to say I could easily be out of the loop, so I don't know. But right now, as far as I know, chat, GPT wasn't a tool. Any writer that I knew was clamoring for, because we all knew if it works, it's going to put us out of a job. So any changes? I don't know. I really don't know. I would just say maybe I'm naive, but stay the course. Figure out how to write without using a computer program or else, because if you're using the computer program, what do we need you for?Kevin Lewandowski:Right. Have you ever just to see what it would look like, just prompt, Chappie, just to write you a random scene just to see what it would look like, and then compare it to your knowledge you have of being a professional writer forMichael Jamin:Many years. Well, a couple of months ago, my partner decided to put some prompts into chat, GPT to come up with story ideas for Come FD for the show we were on. He just read 'em to me. We were both laughing at how terrible they were. It was like a paragraph of what's going to happen in this episode. And it was interesting how it was able to glean what the show was and what it was like, but it was just such an oversimplification of what the show, it lacked any nuance. It was kind of stupid. It was like, nah, that's not, I know. That's what it was almost like asking a 4-year-old what you think the show is and the four year olds. Yeah. Okay. You're right. It's about firemen. Okay, sure. But other than that, the ideas were terrible.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Another question from NRS creates, what are your thoughts on screenwriting competition websites like Cover Fly and the Blacklist? Is that a good way to get a script into people's hands? Thoughts on one act, scripts, one act plays? Do they have three acts?Michael Jamin:A lot of questions. I think you're the better person to answer the first part.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. So I've definitely submitted to some of those contests just to see A, if I would get any more B, what kind of feedback they would give. And a lot of times it's not very helpful feedback. And you've talked about, you have to question who these people are that are giving feedback, because chances are, they're not professional working writers right now. They would not have the time to go through 20, 30 scripts to give feedback. So chances are these could potentially be recent college graduates that are just doing what they think, what they learned in film school. And interestingly enough, I think Phil, he went through one competition. He sent me what the feedback was, and just reading it, I was like, this sounds very Chat, GPT ai. It was just very, because he sent me other ones he got, and I was like, okay, this feels like a person actually read this. This feels like it could have been put in chat, GPT, write a response based on what you think. And then when I said that to him, he was like, you might be right. He's like, you might be right. Interesting.Michael Jamin:Back when I was writing my book and I submitted to some publishers, whatever, a couple wrote back why they didn't like it, why they didn't want to option the book or whatever, and whatever. A couple of them, their feedback was like, no, it's clear to me you barely read it. Which I understand because these were low level publishing types editors. And on their weekend read, they probably had to read a couple dozen books, manuscripts, they're not going to give it full attention. And I was like, so some of the criticism, I was like, okay, that's a fair criticism. But no, but that is not, there's literally no truth in what you're saying there. You just phoned it in because you have to read so much over the weekend. So I don't know. Got to take, no one's going. I mean, it's the same thing for these websites. Are they really going to put their heart and soul into it? No. Why would TheyKevin Lewandowski:Don't care. They just want theMichael Jamin:Money. Yeah. Why would they? Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:You think about someone in your position giving feedback to a fellow writer that might take you two and a half hours, read the script, think about your notes, and then put 'em in a format to be able to explain them to the writer. And I don't think these people in those competitions are doing that. They probably just read it once and write down what they think. And it's funny how some of them, it's what would you rank the character dialogue on a one to 10, and they write six and a half. It's like,Michael Jamin:Where are you gettingKevin Lewandowski:That from? One is six and half. So then what would've gotten me an eight or an half or a nine?Michael Jamin:One of the things we just started doing on their website, if you have the course, our screenwriting course, I have a couple of friends who are high level writers who are willing to give notes. But here's the thing, you're going to pay. It's not cheap. You're going to pay these people to sit down and read your damn script for two or three hours and they're not getting $10 an hour. That's not what they're going to get. I don't know what you get paid for,Kevin Lewandowski:I guess. So is this a good way to get your script into people's hands? So I think, yeah, mean it's technically people's hands, but I don't know ifMichael Jamin:I don't think they're the right hands.Kevin Lewandowski:Feedback is going to be any valuable. And then thoughts on one X Scripts. One X plays, do they have three x inherently?Michael Jamin:That's an interesting question. Do they have three acts? I would say yes, in terms of the structure, in terms of what makes something compelling, but not necessarily, I guess I've written some stories in my book that don't fall into the traditional three Acts structure, but they come close. They definitely come close to it. And that's just because, well, it doesn't really matter why, but you can't go wrong. You really can't go wrong if you structure something like the way we teach.Kevin Lewandowski:So in your opinion, because heard, sometimes people use a five act structure, and I think for me, I think it's basically the same three act structure, but so act one will be act one, and then Act two isMichael Jamin:ActKevin Lewandowski:Two A and then Act two B. And so it's kind of broken up like that. So for me,Michael Jamin:Well, Shakespeare wrote that way. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:And he's all right. He did.Michael Jamin:Yeah. I mean, I just think it's easier not to write. I just think three is easier to get your head around. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. I think just the thought of hearing the words, so writing five acts, that just sounds like it can be a lot, but if you could be like, oh, three acts, okay, I can do that.Michael Jamin:Yeah. Right. Anyone could do that. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Next topic, breaking in. DJ asked when starting out to obtain that experience, what sort of job should one be searching for, staff, writer, assistant, et cetera?Michael Jamin:You should be searching for the production assistant job anywhere, and eventually, after a season or two, see if you can move to a job that's closer to the writer's room. Physically, let's do what Kevin did. That's what he did.Kevin Lewandowski:And I think there's a staff writer that's obviously not entry level assistant. There's various assistant positions you could do production assistant, you can do showrunners, assistant executive assistant. I think one of the, or the terminologies people may get confused is writer's production assistant and then writer's assistant. And the writer's production assistant is the one that's responsible for getting the lunches, stocking the kitchen, making copies, things like that. And the writer's assistant is the one that sits in the room, types up the notes and the jokes that are being pitched. And they work closely with the script coordinator. And as you've said, many times, the writer's assistant is not an entry level job. It can be very intensive times.Michael Jamin:And for what's worth, I've worked with several assistants, either writer's, assistant production assistants, who've since gone on to become staff writers have had successful careers. So it's not like many. So Kevin, hopefully you'll be next.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah, I'm hoping so too. Next question, Sammy. ak. So the best way to get a foot in the door to support and learn the biz write in assistant or pa, we kind of just answer that. Yeah. Production assistant is that entry level. You're kind of just the gopher and you're the whatever they kind of need you go do, and you prove yourself to those people above you. And they notice. Notice people notice when you're either calling it in or you're really going above and beyond to make whoever's ahead of you life a little bit easier. Yeah. All right. Now we got some miscellaneous. Oh, here's a fun question. Tulio, how close are you to officially publishing your book, Michael,Michael Jamin:It's already out tulio. You can go get it. You can find it. Sign copies are available@michaeljamin.com slash book. Or you could search for a paper orchestra on Amazon or Barnes and Noble, or the audio book on Audible or Spotify or Apple. How about that?Kevin Lewandowski:Get the book. Everyone get the book. The comment to address from Jonathan Loudon, real world dilemma. I like this. Can't get experience without getting hired. Can't get hired without experience. That's why, who is such a reality?Michael Jamin:Well, but if you're starting off in an entry level position, you don't need to know anybody. You just have to put yourself out there. And then in terms of knowing someone later in your job, well, now you already know people. Now you broke because entry levels, literally, you have a pulse in a car. So I find that it's a convenient excuse. Put yourself out there, and Kevin, you didn't have any contacts when you broke into Hollywood. None. So there you go.Kevin Lewandowski:You just got to knock on some doors. I think people that work in the industry, they know kind of how it works. Once you break in, you become a pa, and you make those network connections with production coordinators that you've worked with and people on the show, and you build those genuine relationships and you do good. Then when they go to the next show and they're like, Hey, we need someone, then they'll reach out to you andMichael Jamin:They're not reaching out for you because they're as a favor to you. They're reaching out to you because we need to hire someone. And I don't really want to spend days interviewing.Kevin Lewandowski:I already know you can do the job. It's so much easier just to bring you aboard.Michael Jamin:Yeah, right. It's not like a favor to you. It's a favor to them.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah.Michael Jamin:You are listening to, what the Hell is Michael Jamin talking about? Today's episode is brought to you by my new book, A Paper Orchestra, A Collection of True Stories. John Mayer says, it's fantastic. It's multi timal. It runs all levels of the pyramid at the same time, his knockout punches are stinging, sincerity, and Kirker View says, those who appreciate the power of simple stories to tell us about human nature or who are bewitched by a storyteller who has mastered his craft, will find a delightful collection of vignettes, a lovely anthology that strikes a perfect balance between humor and poignancy. So my podcast is not advertiser supported. I'm not running ads here. So if you'd like to support me or the podcast, come check out my book, go get an ebook or a paperback, or if you really want to treat yourself, check out the audio book. Go to michael jamin.com/book, and now back to our show.Kevin Lewandowski:Next question, all nighters cinema, what makes your script stand out? If it's a book adaptation and the story isn't your original story,Michael Jamin:Well, do you have the rights to adapt? A book is one question. So if you don't, I probably wouldn't adapt it. And that's not to say that when people think you adapt a book, you still have to have these act break pops. These scenes have to unfold. It's not like books are a slam dunk to adapt. I mean, there's definitely some art and craft that has to be applied to turning into a script. So that's how you make it stand out.Kevin Lewandowski:And I think one of the other things you like to say is if you have a book, there might be a few different stories happening throughout that book. And in your paper orchestra, one of the examples you get, oh, I forget what it was called about the swing dance, and I forgot that chapterMichael Jamin:Was called Yes, swing and a Miss.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. As you said, there was other stuff happening at that point in your life, but it was just this story was the one you wanted to tell. Of course you were going to work and doing stuff like that, but this was the story you wanted to tell.Michael Jamin:Right. And also, how many times have you seen they've adapted a book, I don't know, a popular book into a TV show movie? And sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. It's because it's not as simple as simply typing the book.Kevin Lewandowski:And a lot of times people say the book was even better or the book was better anyways. And I mean, it's hard to take 300 pages of a book and consented toMichael Jamin:An hour and a half movie. Right.Kevin Lewandowski:David Sallow, what if you a show idea that you have done the work on and think it uniquely speaks to the present moment? Are there any shortcuts possible there or noMichael Jamin:Shortcuts to what? You got to write a script. Yeah. There's no shortcuts to write in a good script, and there's no shortcuts to selling it. There's no shortcuts anywhere. Shortcuts. When does shortcuts ever work? I don't know. Where are the shortcuts? Yeah, little Ed riding Hood. Other than that, in real life, you got to put the work in. Right.Kevin Lewandowski:Do you ever watch the, there's a documentary about the South Park creators and how from they, from blank page to delivering the episode, how many days do you think,Michael Jamin:Well, I know they're super fast, so I would say five,Kevin Lewandowski:Six.Michael Jamin:Six.Kevin Lewandowski:Okay. Six days. That's very fast. They are delivering it like a half hour before it's supposed to. Yeah.Michael Jamin:And that's because the animation process is so crude that they can do it so quickly, but that's fast,Kevin Lewandowski:And we've just gotten used to it that way. So I think with them in an interesting way, that's why their shows seem like their current and present, because something could have happened in the news last week, and then that episode could air next week. Whereas other animation shows, and I know you've worked in animation, sometimes it's seven, eight months before that episode,Michael Jamin:Or it could be nine months, nine months animated show. So yeah, you don't do anything top of one within in an animated show, not the ones I've done.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Next question. What if I wrote lyrics to the theme song? Is that okay to include? I think this might be in the context of one of the things you say in your scripts, don't write music cues. Don't write, don't put song lyrics in there, or something like that.Michael Jamin:I mean, if you think you got fantastic lyrics and you're going to really impress the hell out of someone, but you still have to, when I'm reading the script, I have to imagine what the music is, and I'm not going to imagine the music. And I suppose you can write the lyrics and maybe some people will read it and some won't. So it's up to you. Do you really think it's fantastic or not?Kevin Lewandowski:I had a couple scripts that I put part of a song in there and then listening to, I'm like, no, it's coming out, taking it out.Michael Jamin:In my opinion, there's really no, I'm not crazy about reading that.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah,Michael Jamin:I mean, maybe others are, I don't know.Kevin Lewandowski:Well, I think, I think back to my script, it was I just kind of being lazy. Could I take that three eighths of a page and add something in there that's going to help move the storyline further, or was I just looking for a, what's a funny moment I could have right now?Michael Jamin:Right. Okay.Kevin Lewandowski:Let's see. From Aaron, in terms of recognizing good writing, writing, what is considered too much in terms of providing direction to actors, description of character, thoughts and emotions, et cetera?Michael Jamin:The less the better, in my opinion. You don't want let the actors do their job, and if you feel you can't convey the anger in a scene or the love in a scene with dialogue and you're yelling at the actors, do it this way, then you haven't done your job as the writer do your job. Not everyone else's. As far as action lines go, I am of the camp that the shorter the better because most writers or most people reading do not want to read your action line. I suppose one day, if get, I think when you get more successful, if you're Aaron Sorkin, you can write whatever the hell you want. You're, because he writes his actions line. I imagine poetry, it's probably his action lines are probably just as interesting as his dialogue because he's such a great writer, but don't count on it when you're starting off.Kevin Lewandowski:I was reading something, I forgot who the actor was, but they said, the actor always requested that their script have commas and apostrophes taken out of dialogue because they felt like they didn't want someone telling them how to say things. And I was like, I can respect as an actor, but I was like, that poor script coordinator, they have to go through that whole script again and take everything out.Michael Jamin:That's a little bit much to me. It seems like putting a comma there is like that's just grammar. And if they wanted to take it out, I think they should do it themselves, but whatever,Kevin Lewandowski:From Jonathan Loudon, again, how many feature films have you written, pitched, but never sold?Michael Jamin:Well, we wrote one completely as a spec, and that did not sell, but that got us a producer interested in our writing, and then we wrote two more that did sell as pitches. We pitched them first, then we got paid to write the script. And as far as I can remember, I don't think we wrote any other feature scripts. I think we maybe had some ideas that were batting around, but we never actually pitched or wrote, but we work mostly in tv.Kevin Lewandowski:So do you know, because from what I can recall, you've never sold a feature that actually went into production, correct. Right,Michael Jamin:Right. They they never do.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. And how do you think you would feel, because as you say, tv, the showrunner head writer has the final say, and on a feature, it's the director that has the final say. I worked with someone, his name's Steve Rudnick, and he wrote Space Jam and the Santa Clause movies with Tim Allen, and he told me this story how he was at a baseball game and he saw someone walking down the aisle and it had a Space jam cast and crew jacket. And he asked the guy and he was like, can I ask you where you got that jacket? That's a really cool jacket. And he's like, oh, I worked on production. This was all our rap gifts, and Steve never got one because writers usually aren't part of the production aspect onMichael Jamin:Feature, and he was accredited writer on it. Right. That's what an actor thought he was. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's probably common. I don't know why people want to become writers on movies. I mean, it would be cool, but maybe he was heavily rewritten. Maybe he was, I don't know.Kevin Lewandowski:He was so bummed. Yeah.Michael Jamin:Yeah. He wasn't invited to anything.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Right. Geo, could you elaborate on the things not to say to executives or some examples of what the producer said?Michael Jamin:What the producer said? I'm not sure I answered the question.Kevin Lewandowski:So can you elaborate on the things, so I guess as a writer, and maybe you gave your script to an executive and they were giving you feedback or said, Hey, maybe do this, do this. How would you respond to those notes?Michael Jamin:Yeah, you want to be positive. Great. We'll work on that. Thank you. Good idea. Interesting thought. We'll definitely do our best with that, and then later, hopefully you can take 90% of the notes and the ones you can't take, you say, I think we address the spirit of your note. Even if we couldn't address your notes or this one, we couldn't make it work occasionally, but you're doing 90% of the notes. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:I think the phrase I would always hear on notes calls is, okay, well, yeah, we'll take a look at it. We'll take a look at that. Yeah,Michael Jamin:We'll take a look at it. Yeah. We,Kevin Lewandowski:Next question from Cody, with short seasons, freelance opportunities have mostly gone away, but are there still opportunities for freelance, and if so, how are writers polled in for those?Michael Jamin:I don't know. That's a good question because that's a question. You'd have to look that up with the Writer's Guild. I don't remember on our last show there, I don't recall ever having those guys doing freelance, giving off freelance episodes to anyone. So it used to be a Writer's Guild mandate if the show was a certain length that they had to give out a certain number of freelancers. And now maybe they don't have to, but I wouldn't either way get it out of your head that you're ever going to sell a freelance episode because it's just so over my 28 years, I think I've sold maybe three freelance episodes and I would do more. It's not a problem. It's just that they're really hard to get.Kevin Lewandowski:And I think a lot of times what happens in writer's rooms is those writer's assistants and script coordinators that have proved their worth for a couple of seasons. If that opportunity comes for them to get a freelance episode, the showrunner helps 'em out with that, and that helps them get into the Writer's Guild and things likeMichael Jamin:That. That's usually a bone you throw those support staff after they've been there a couple of years.Kevin Lewandowski:That's a nice bonus. It's a nice check to get. Next question, David Campbell. Does the creator continue to have involvement or do you teach them on the job?Michael Jamin:If someone creates the show and they are not the showrunner, which just happened on a couple shows we've done. We were not the showrunner and the creator had involved. They were on the writing staff, but they didn't have any say. They didn't have the final say or anything. If we are the showrunner, whoever's the runner has final say. Yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Next question, nerds and friends, how many writers' rooms are virtual remote nowadays? What is the path to becoming a showrunner? Is it a writer pivoting into that role? I can imagine producing experience helps.Michael Jamin:No, so a showrunner is the head writer. The way you become a showrunner is by being a writer on many shows and being good at writing, and then the producing aspect of the job. You kind of learn on the job as you rise up the ranks. You don't have to take a course or there's no certification, and it's something you can fake.Kevin Lewandowski:For me, I never really understood what the word producer meant. No one in the context of television, because it's working in the industry, you learn, okay, writers can be producers, but then sometimes accountants, if they're high enough, they can also be producers. And not every producer is necessarily like the creative vision. Some of them deal with the money aspect of it.Michael Jamin:Yeah. They're non-writing producers or non-writing executive producers, they'reKevin Lewandowski:Called. Yeah. Next question, K with an asterisk next to it. Are series filmed for streaming services similar to TV regarding creative control for the show runner?Michael Jamin:Yeah. Yes.Kevin Lewandowski:Easy question. Yeah, all-nighter cinema. How different is trying to greenlight a serial TV show versus a mini series?Michael Jamin:It just depends on what the network, usually they're buying series. They're not buying mini series there. Sometimes they're buying limited series. It just depends on the network. And I wouldn't even approach, again, your goal is to write one great script as a writing sample, and it's not to time the market and figure out who's buying what. Can you write a script? Answer that question first,Kevin Lewandowski:Right? If a studio buys your pilot but ends up passing and an exec at another studio is interested, how realistic is it that they'll buy it againMichael Jamin:If the first one will buy it?Kevin Lewandowski:I don't know. I'm wondering if they're asking just because one studio passes on your script, does that mean every studio is going to pass on it?Michael Jamin:No. No. Usually if you're lucky, you pitch to five studios and one buys it. That's how they don't all want to buy it. You're lucky if one wants to buy it. But again, what's frustrating about all these questions that we're hearing is everyone's saying, how do I make money selling a script? And no one's saying, how do I write a good script? Everyone is already assuming that. It's just so damn frustrating. It's like, guys, what do you think? How do you think this is going to work? It's not about the meeting. It's about writing a damn good script. First thing's first. So I don't know, what are you going to do? I yell into the wind. People don't listen to me on this.Kevin Lewandowski:I listen. They'll listen. They'll listen. Yeah. I mean, I think there's almost this weird delusion that people think they're going to move out here within a year. They're going to have their own show. And I was just talking to someone the other day that they're going to USC, and she was talking about kind of her timeline with things, and she said, I want to give myself five years from when I graduate in 2025 to try to get into a writer's room. And when she said that to me, I said, very realistic. That's not too quick that, because there's a lot of luck of, IMichael Jamin:Thought you were going to say have her own show on the air.Kevin Lewandowski:No, no. She was very much, if I can be in a writer's room in five years. So I thought, yeah, because tough, because if you can get on that show that season one, it's not a hit yet, then it becomes a hit that can definitely fast track you a little bit. And my struggle has been, none of the pilots I've worked on have gotten picked up and shows have gotten canceled. And I'd like to believe that's not my fault, but it's hard to look at the No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.Michael Jamin:But yeah. But it's a little frustrating when people ask these questions sound to me like when I hit a grand Slam, who do I high five first? They're like, dude, can you get on base? Do you know how to get a base hit? What are you talking about? Just get a base hit first. So that's what it sounds like to me. And I wish people would just have more realistic expectations and would take a little more, everyone's assuming they already knew how to do the hard part.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. Next question, given that streaming has changed the face of sitcom series writing, how do you feel about the future of the industry? Are there days of having full writer's room and staff over?Michael Jamin:It certainly seems that way, but who knows right now, if you follow what's going on, it seems like, it seems like everything's becoming, we're slowly moving back to the old days. There's going to be fewer streamers. They're going to be consolidation. They're already talking about these big streamers merging. And when that happens, things will change, but we don't really know. Right now, the industry's at a crossroads. They're not picking up a lot of shows. Now. They will pick up start. That will happen. And imagine a couple of, it can't go on much longer. They got to have to start pulling the trigger and start making TV shows again. So we don't know. We're at the crossroads,Kevin Lewandowski:Because I think you said back when you were working on, just Shoot Me In, I think you said King of the Hill, there was more than 15 writers on King. KingMichael Jamin:Of the Hill. We had 20 writers in King of the Hill, and we were do 22 episodes in a season.Kevin Lewandowski:And how many were on Just Shoot Me?Michael Jamin:Well, let's see. In the beginning, I would say it's closer to maybe 10 or so, maybe 12 at some point.Kevin Lewandowski:And in your experience, do you think comedy rooms always have more writersMichael Jamin:Than drama? I don't know. I mean, it just really depends on the budget of the show and how many episodes you're going to be doing.Kevin Lewandowski:I think I was watching something about Breaking Bad, and I think they had six writers.Michael Jamin:Oh, really? That's it.Kevin Lewandowski:Wow. On why Women Kill. We had five.Michael Jamin:The thing about drama is that you don't have to, it is easier in the sense that when you're writing a comedy, you still need to have that structure. You still need to come up with a story that is engaging, but it also has to be funny. But when you're doing the drama, you just need to come up with an engaging story, and it doesn't have to be funny, and you don't have to punch up the lines. And in that sense, I do think it's a little easier, but that's not to say writing Breaking Bad is easy. I mean, what a great show that works.Kevin Lewandowski:Right, right. Next question from maybe, are there tutorials and Final Draft, a proper guide for making your script presentation acceptable?Michael Jamin:What do you think? I don't know. I haven't looked at the tutorials.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. I mean, I think the nice thing about Final Draft is they have pre-built templates that you can use. So if you're writing a Multicam, it'll prebuilt that template and everything will automatically be capitalized for you. And same thing with Single Cam. And I think one of the things you always say is when you hand your script to someone, they're not going to know you use Final Draft or one of these other programs to write the script. They're just going to get a printed out version. And I think there's minimal things you need to do, make sure the dialogue is in the middle of the page and certain things are capitalized, and there's a certain format formatting of that. But Final Draft can take care of all that too. So when you're done writing, you just hit file, export as PDF, and that's it. You're done. All the four is done.Michael Jamin:I mean, final Draft, like you said, has those templates, and it'll make your script look like a script, which is great. You got a script, you got something that looks like a script, but does it read like a script?Kevin Lewandowski:Right. Har Draft does not do that for you. Yeah, it won'tMichael Jamin:Do that.Kevin Lewandowski:Michael's course does.Michael Jamin:Yeah. I hope,Kevin Lewandowski:Lorenzo, given your friendship with the late David Bellini, have you got any insights on Italian films, TV industry, in your opinion? Is there any difference? Thank you.Michael Jamin:From what I knew from David. David when he was a lot, the difference is enormous. It's a whole different film structure over there. It's not so much of an industry as it is. I don't know. It sounded like really hard. And he was pretty successful. He worked on a bunch of shows, and he moved to LA to Hollywood because he was like, this is too crazy here. This is just not enough work. So I think it was a miracle that he was as successful as he was there, but it's a whole different ballgameKevin Lewandowski:If the script doesn't have scenes in it. How should it be written? Is it just dialogue and descriptions? Do you have any advice for someone who wants to be a script doctor?Michael Jamin:Okay. The script does have to have scenes in it. It can't be all one scene. That's not going to be acceptable. A script doctor is not really, that's some bullshit that people say on the internet. No one I've ever met ever called themselves a script doctor. We're all screenwriters. And sometimes you sell your own work, and sometimes you're brought in to rewrite somebody else's, and there's no script doctor. You don't get a degree and you don't wear a stethoscope. And that's not a job. It's just sometimes will get paid to rewrite someone else's script, but you'll only get that job if you're a really good writer and you've written some really good scripts on your own. And then when you do, usually you're like, hell, I'll just write. I want to write my own stuff. And you're brought in to change someone else's script because it's like, all right, someone's giving me money and here's a job, and I'm in between jobs, so I'll do it.Kevin Lewandowski:There's no shortcuts. A couple more questions, Aaron. How many followers, subscribers would someone need to have on social media for that to be interesting and asset to a studio or showrunner?Michael Jamin:Literally have no idea. And I'm not sure it would be interesting to a showrunner at all as far as the studio, in terms of being a writer. You're not expected to have a social media following at all. I just happen to have one, but it's not right. No one's, no one ever asked me, no one really cares. The benefit is I can promote my own stuff. I have a following, but for a writer, you don't need that.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. And then our last question, is it okay to make the size of the words on the title page a little bit bigger?Michael Jamin:I suppose it is. I don't try to do anything fancy, but I don't know why you want to. It's okay if you want to. It's not desperate, but I don't know. I try to make it, I want my script to look like just an ordinary script. I want the pages themselves, the dialogue to stand out. I'm not really trying to make the cover page stand out.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah, I think it's like when writing any paper you did in college or whatever the title is, 18 font, and then the stuffy writing is 12 font or whatever.Michael Jamin:Yeah, you can do that.Kevin Lewandowski:Yeah. I think one of the things you said is the title page. No one necessarily cares about that. If you put a fancy image on there, that's not going to, people aren't going to be like, oh, we got to hire this person. We got to hire this person right now.Michael Jamin:Yeah. Don't even give any thought to the title. I mean, really. You're not going to fool anybody. So yeah.Kevin Lewandowski:Well, that is all the questions we have from that webinar.Michael Jamin:Wow. Excellent. Kevin, you did really well. You're a natural here. Thanks. Yeah. Alright, everyone. Thank you. Please continue coming to our webinars. We do 'em every few weeks. To sign up, go to michael jamin.com/webinar. I got a book out. I hope you all get it. Sign copies are available @michaeljamin.com slash book. And if you want to come see me on tour, go to michael jamin.com/upcoming. Kevin, where can people find you?Kevin Lewandowski:I'm on social media, Kevin Lewandowski. Sorry it's a very long last name. It gets butchered a lot, but I'm there. And yeah, I occasionally make appearances with Michael on these webinars and things like that. So yeah. Thank you all for who's been coming to the webinars and checking out Michael's stuff. Just go to michael jamen.com and just start clicking around. There's a bunch of stuff you can get his free scripts, stuff he's written. There's free lessons up there. Every podcast we do gets uploaded there. You can spend hours on that websites. Just go there, click around, buy the book byMichael Jamin:The book. Thank you so much buddy. Alright. You're just going to stick around. Kevin's going to be back next week for another episode. I believe it's next week. We will see when it drops, but he's going to be back around for another one. Alright, everyone, until then, keep writing, keep being creative and all that stuff. Thanks so much.Michael Jamin:Wow. I did it again. Another fantastic episode of, what the Hell is Michael Jamin talking about? How do I do it week after week? Well, I don't do it with advertiser supported money. I tell you how I do it. I do it with my book. If you'd like to support the show, if you'd like to support me, go check out my new book, A Paper Orchestra. It asks the question, what if it's the smallest, almost forgotten moments that are the ones that shape us most. Laura Sanoma says, good storytelling also leads us to ourselves, our memories, our beliefs, personal and powerful. I loved the Journey, and Max Munic, who was on my show says, as the father of daughters, I found Michael's understanding of parenting and the human condition to be spot on. This book is a fantastic read. Go check it out for yourself. Go to michael jamin.com/book. Thank you all and stay tuned. More great stuff coming next week.

Deixar una feina estable amb un salari cada mes per posar en marxa un negoci no és fàcil tot i que tinguis el coixí de la família i encara menys si ho deixes tot per treballar al sector primari o fent un treball gairebé artesanal. És el cas tant de la Sandra Balcón com de l'Eva Gómez. La Sandra és mestre i fa dos anys va deixar la docència per posar en marxa una granja de gallines ecològiques a Canillo. L'Eva es dedicava a la comunicació quan fa onze anys va començar a produir i comercialitzar ratassia amb la recepta de la família. Què les va motivar a deixar l'escola i l'oficina per llençar-se a aquesta aventura?, i com ha estat l'experiència fins ara? Ens ho expliquen a l'Altaveu a Fons d'aquesta setmana.

Dylan is here to break down the loss to the Lakers! Shai looked great, case study on his mid range vs three point, Santa was DEEP in his bag, Chet was solid but not efficient, Kenny and Ous much needed lift off bench, what's up with Wiggs?, ice cold from Joe, Dort, and Cason, why did we lose? And more! Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

We talk OUs upcoming trip to Provo to play BYU Follow the Sports Animal on Facebook, and Instagram PLUS The Morning Animals on XListen to past episodes HERE!Follow The Morning Animals Podcast on Apple and SpotifySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trace Ford joins us to talk Bedlam and OUs upcoming game against WVUSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dylan, Alex, and Tyranny link up to discuss the Thunders dismantling of the Bulls! Shai is back like he never left and even better, Cason Wallace fits like a glove, flexibility of Ous, Isaiah Joe 6MOY?, WE GOT SHOOTERS, Dub coming for heads, Chet got memed but had a solid debut, and more!

We break down OUs depth chart and Venables presser See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Boomer Bevo Podcast - Episode 61- This is the sixty-first episode of the only podcast dedicated to the greatest rivalry in college football, The University of Texas and The University of Oklahoma. John and Kevin break down UTs recruiting win, OUs recruiting loss, Michael Oher's blatant publicity attempt and Kevin's overuse of the word "talented" to justify Texas' hype and inevitable downfall.

Boomer Bevo Podcast - Episode 61- This is the sixty-first episode of the only podcast dedicated to the greatest rivalry in college football, The University of Texas and The University of Oklahoma. John and Kevin break down UTs recruiting win, OUs recruiting loss, Michael Oher's blatant publicity attempt and Kevin's overuse of the word "talented" to justify Texas' hype and inevitable downfall.

Description: Tayler and Nick break down one of the most exciting Thunder performances of Summer League, including Ous' dominance and aggressiveness, Chet's best overall perfomance of Summer League, Kayontae Johnson's continued impact, Jared Butler, and Cason Wallace's seamless fit with the Thunder's roster. They finish by answering Twitter and live stream questions.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dylan, Cone, Alex, and Tyranny link up to over react to the Thunder vs Jazz summer league game! Chet is BACK, year 2 Dub is a PROBLEM, Tre Mann playing with his back against the wall, Jaylin Williams living up to the "Boom" nickname, Why people should chill on Ous, VASILIJE MICIC, and more!

With the 2023 NBA Draft around the corner, the TBU crew provides a reminder of where the Thunder is drafting and breaks down the organizational process heading into Thursday. Also, Nick catches up with Ousmane Dieng to reflect on his draft night, progress during his rookie season and involvement in the community this past week. The Thunder Basketball Universe is presented by COOP Ale Works.

Linn er gjest i anledning at OUS vurderer å legge ned poliklinikken for personlighetspsykiatri. Signér oppropet mot nedleggelsen her: https://www.opprop.net/redd_tilbudet_til_mennesker_med_personlighetsforstyrrelser Linn hadde tidligere diagnosen emosjonelt ustabil personlighetsforstyrrelse. Gjennom noen år med terapi ved Ullevål, og mye egenarbeid, er hun i dag diagnosefri og har etablert seg med familie, jobb og lever et mer stabilt liv enn før. Linn forteller åpent om hvordan det var å leve med de store svingningene, og hvordan det er å i dag se tilbake på all den tilbakelagte jobben hun har gjort for å bedre egen psyke og hverdag. Linn er samfunnsdebattant og har vært aktiv både i sosiale medier, blogg og kronikker. I dag kan du følge henne på @liwro på Instagram. Den forrige episoden om EUPF kan du høre her: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7aE5Gg6SZELHt5oF2xcxXE?si=TG7rqbXGT6KRHkoZyWlo3g Vil du støtte mitt arbeid med en "kaffe"? https://www.buymeacoffee.com/ogsapasient Kontakt: @kinemaniac og @ogsapasient på Instagram og TikTok eller ogsapasient@gmail.com Cover art: @anettews

We've picked out all the texts for our topic "what happened on the hen/stag do" that couldn't go on air, and let me say they are SCAN. DAL. OUS.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bill Colone is the CEO and Chairman of Single Pass, a new Orange County-based start-up company developing a unique electrocautery device for use during deep tissue biopsy procedures. Bill formerly served as the CEO at Spinal Singularity, a seed-stage medical device development company in San Clemente, CA. Under Mr. Colone, the company raised over $6.6 million in dilutive funding and over $5.1 million in non-dilutive funding for product development, clinical studies, and regulatory approvals. Prior to Spinal Singularity, he served as the VP of R&D for Direct Flow Medical until its sudden closure in November of 2017. He has over three decades of medical device development experience, including ten years as President of Endomed, until its sale in February 2005. Mr. Colone has vast knowledge of ePTFE and endovascular prostheses and is recognized for his contributions to endoluminal technology and vascular surgery. Prior to Direct Flow Medical, he served as Director of Research and Development, and later Director of Aortic Procedure Development, for Endologix. Mr.Colone directed the development of the Nellix Endovascular Aneurysm Sealing System through design completion, CE trial completion, CE Mark approval, and OUS commercial launch. He also contributed to the procedure development and training for the US IDE investigation centers leading to the fastest enrolled IDE trial for an EVAR device. Mr. Colone holds 13 US patents for medical devices with others pending. He also served as Director of Operations for IMPRA, Inc. (now Bard Peripheral Vascular) prior to founding Endomed. Mr. Colone holds a bachelor's degree in Chemical Engineering from Arizona State University where he is a member of the ASU Advisory Committee for Chemical and Materials Engineering. Mr. Colone also served as an Associate Faculty Member at ASU from 2004 through 2007 and was a Founding Member and Board Member of the Arizona Technology Investor Forum. -- Critical Mass Business Talk Show is Orange County, CA's longest-running business talk show, focused on offering value and insight to middle-market business leaders in the OC and beyond. Hosted by Ric Franzi, business partner at Renaissance Executive Forums Orange County. Learn more about Ric at www.ricfranzi.com. Catch up on past Critical Mass Business Talk Show interviews... YouTube: https://lnkd.in/gHKT2gmF LinkedIn: https://lnkd.in/g2PzRhjQ Podbean: https://lnkd.in/eWpNVRi Apple Podcasts: https://lnkd.in/gRd_863w Spotify: https://lnkd.in/gruexU6m #orangecountyca #mastermind #ceopeergroups #peergroups #peerlearning

Vi har besøk av Maren Ranhoff Hov, lege ved nevrologisk avdeling på OUS, seniorforsker ved Norsk luftambulanse Stiftelsen og førsteamanuensis ved Institutt for sykepleie & helsefremmende arbeid ved OsloMet og Else Charlotte Sandset, nevrolog, overlege ved seksjon for hjerneslag, Nevrologisk avdeling ved OUS og seniorforsker i Stiftelsen Norsk Luftambulanse. Disse tittelrike legene har som noen av de første i verden forsket på hjerneslag hos kvinner, hvordan det utarter seg, har andre symptomer enn hos menn og hvordan det best kan behandles. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

En litt annerledes episode med et modig menneske. På et halvt år har Thorbjørn gått fra å være overlege på OUS fødeavdeling, til utbrent, sykemeldt, nyansatt og en fødselslege alle vil snakke med. Aller viktigst, han har blitt den tilstedeværende familiefaren og ektemannen han trodde han alltid har vært. Til Oda forteller han om å føle seg verdiløs i sykehussystemet og lederjobben, om da han møtte veggen og ble tvunget til å se seg selv i speilet, om livet som fødselslege med et brennende engasjement for kvinnehelse, dagens fødselsomsorg og hvorfor David Bowie gir ham mot. Sammen konkluderer de med at alt handler om omsorg, og at mangel på den er livsfarlig.Aktuelle artikler:https://www.vg.no/nyheter/meninger/i/MoEapE/det-skjer-paa-din-vakt-kjerkol?fbclid=IwAR1XjOeEp1ACdudTEDeEIhMXsWMh3CwF0GFVzOjwyelVDIXAi0CJXzVhnhUhttps://www.klikk.no/foreldre/kommentarer/selv-ikke-dotrenes-ord-fikk-thorbjorn-til-a-hore-alarmklokken-7222613?fbclid=IwAR1DpOXIh-zw4VBKTFwWgUjuyVE0qCB_aUKjdBieadPE9RgRUY8EuhTLYaQ

Festival Project A Saga S Ū P A © R E E ™ One World. | PEACE. LOVE. UNITY. RESPECT. | Lifelong friends navigate the infinitely incredible world of rave culture, journeying together (and sometimes, apart) into the PLUniveRse© in fantastical, philosophical, and third-eye-opening adventures--the likes of which have never been seen (or foretold.) Festival Project™ is a multi-genre, mystifying and magical cross-genre series, set against the backdrop of modern rave culture-- combined with historical and futuristic elements-- across expansions of space-and-time, unifying with The Universal Consciousness in a multidimensional and explorative ensemble of Films, Episodic Series, Music Videos, Extended Playlists, and Concept Albums. A perpetual symphony of artistic storytelling though a cavalcade of wonderful and whimsical characters along high-intensity, off-the-map adventures--showcased through Music, Film & Interactive Art Explorations--set upon the dreamlike actual reality of an unravelling fabric of time-and-space. Enter The Multiverse: Anything Is Possible. This explosive and expansive wave of enigmatic, chaos-colliding, charismatic [ and often comedic] kinetic energy, reflects a shared experience throughout all time in human connection; Journey beyond the unknown, to Worlds Within--and Without. Everything is Everything. The Festival Project Saga is a multi-media Music, Film and Television saga that offers a new perspective on the ever-changing and recently popularized culture of dance music; it touches on the history of the culture as a whole, as well as a variety of other societal issues this generation faces—friendship, connectivity, communication—the dawn of social media, America's education system and justice system, immigration, and emerging mental health and drug crisis—while also taking a look at a history of counter culture as a derivative of the rapidly evolving technology of today's society. Through its characters and storylines, we dive deeply into a conglomerate of generational growth and exponentially educational topics, lightheartedly touching tales of friendship, family through blood and through bond, and exploring fields, of Astrology, Philosophy. Festival Trip- Two lifelong friends take a two-week-long trip across the country, to attend two major music festivals—one on the west coast (Among Aliens, in California), and one on the east (Ultimate Music Festival) Chava Hoffs Sala Emillio Gunther Ross- The more than interesting circus-act of a plug/one of Sala's romantic interests, who just happens to be in the same place at the same time, once Sala and Chava arrive in California. Solomon Dominguez- Chava's “homie-lover-friend”, a DC native transplanted to LA who hustles and bustles the 3-job life to live the California dream—a surprisingly dedicated and loyal friend to Chava, who considers him the “king of fuckboys”—which, is not entirely untrue. Johnny McEntire- An eclectic and friendly photographer who stumbles upon Sala during a vulnerable moment—a sweet, humble, and vibrant personality, Chava mostly dismisses him as just another victim of Sala's constantly-inconstant romantic gestures and affiliations. Grace Williams (Chava's Super-Christian (but very sweet) Aunt) Billy Williams- Chava's very dorky, southern Baptist uncle who can't help but throw in a (praise-jesus) Krista DeVaunte- Bride-To-Be—Noah's Fiance Noah Williams- Chava's Cousin, the groom to be Naomi Williams- Chava's salty Cousin, and freinemy since birth—Noah's younger sister Sonny Johnson— Chava's ex-fiance Dustin Roberts—Sala's ex-boyfriend Juan Manuel Jose Melendez Gutierrez-Rodriguez—Sala's current boyfriend, with whom she lives & works with. Running Jokes: -Ridiculous DJ names and Absurd Fictional Festivals -Speaking Spanish with a Mandarin-inflenced dialect—speaking/yelling in awful Spanish-sounding-Mandarin—speaking “Mandarish” or “Spandarin” -Every time Chava mentions Sonny (her ex), Sala interjects with “Fuck Sonny!” -Cop Jokes (due to Chava's occupation) “Go climb broke-bitch mountain!” ACT I- The Wedding Bashers/It's Festival Season “Save-The-Date” Inciting Incident—Plans to attend a destination wedding that Chava and her lifelong. long- distance best friend Sala, have been planning for almost a year are abruptly halted when Chava learns via a very eventful FaceTime call (‘Meet The Williams') that her +1 invitation had apparently only applied to her now-ex-fiance [whom her stuck-up family adored because of his abhorrent Christianity], and that the bride-to-be would not allow Sala to take his place on the guest list—as her vivid memories of Sala from Chava's engagement party are severely grotesque. Flashback: Chava + Sonny's engagement party. Chava: Yeah dude, they got all, mad-butthurt that I was bringing you instead of Sonny. Sala: Fuck Sonny! [The Break-Up] Sala: FUCK YOUR BIRTHDAY! CHAVA: I'M SURE YOU WOULD IF YOU COULD, IF MY BIRTHDAY HAD A PENIS. Sala: YOUR BIRTHDAY DOES HAVE A PENIS—IT'S YOU, DICK. CHAVA: THEN SUCK ME, SALLY MAE. SALA: YOU WISH, WANDA. CHAVA: Can't make a wish with no fucking candles, Kandace. SALA: Huh. I would have thought there were candles just judging by hard you fucking BLOW, Bonnie! CHAVA: Then drive off cliff, Clyde. A remote, unnamed city near the North Pole, in the Alaskan Arctic Circle. It is severely cold, even visually so. ACT II- Sunny California ACT III- Sunny Florida In the scene where random ravers find Sala's backpack in the parking lot, debut Rave Dora [Backpack SupaCreeMixx] “I'm a backpack loaded up with things and Knick-knacks too—anything that you might need, I got inside for you...” Festival Trip One-Liners/ Slang/ Phrases Keep up, Kassandra Hold Up, Heather Be back, Becky Back up, Barbra Shut up, Susan/ Shut Up Sandra/ Shut Up Sharon/ Sit Down, Sally Shove It, Shelly Stop It, Stella Chill, Chelsea Cheer Up, Charlie (a reference to Willy Wonka) Get out my biz, Liz Really Billy? Excerpt, Act III Chava: Dude, your energy is killing me. Sala: So. Chava: Soo, fix it. Sala: What do I look like—Bob the Builder? Chava: More like Wreck-It-Ralphed-All-Over-Yourself Sala: Fuck you. Chava: Off limits. I'm the last person on earth you haven't fucked. Sala: Jealous? Chava: Of the super-massive black-hole that is your vagina? No. I just wish my camera had a better low-light filter so I had actual photographic proof of an 8th world wonder. Sala: …fuck you. Chava: ‘No' Means ‘No'. [blows whistle] Get up. Sala: Ahhhhh—Get fucked! Chava: I was—and you ruined it being a hoe—but I'm willing to look past that, because its a beautiful fucking day in Miami and we're about to get lit. C'mon. S'day one. Sala: Day 1 of rave 2, I'm over it. Chava: Hoe, I'm over you. Sala: Get over me, then, bitch— Chava: I already said I am. Get with it. Sala: Get with this dick. Chava: What's a dick without some balls, bro? Pussy. Sala: … Chava: You mad? Sala: I been mad. Chava: Stay mad, then. Sala: How about I just stay here. Chava: Pay here, stay here, bitch—this trip ain't free. Sala: This trip ain't me. Raves are your thing. I'm not a “festival chick.” Chava: You are for the next three days. Sala: …Three…?! Chava: And counting. Get. Some. Motherfuckin' balls. Here, have some Jesus Juice. [She extends her arm, holding the bottle in front of Sala] Sala: Ughhh. Chava: Come on, man. I'm tryna see Cow Turds. Sala: You're engaged to one. Chava: Shut the fuck up and drink. Here, I'll have one with you. The Epic Trip – ‘Girl—Meet World'. After breaking up with both her ex-fiance and her best friend, a depressed and anxious Chava decides to take a last-minute trip to another one of her bucket list destinations: The Epic Music Festival in Las Vegas, Nevada. F*ckFest: The Origins (Prequel) 21-year-old Chava Hoffs, a longtime raver and lover of all things dance culture, finally convinces her bar-scene best friend to accompany her to a regional event in her area, ‘F*ckfest', Sala's first ever festival/rave where—to both her and Chava's surprise, she connects with other longtime friends she had no idea were immersed into the culture. Sala, having been “rave-retired” since entering her first serious relationship, becomes overly-excited and branches off on her own, reconnecting with her true self after spending too long in her own shell—she discovers her love for an up-and-coming new artist (‘Shluggy') who magnetizes her with a newly-created sound (‘PukeRock'—a play on “VomitStep”) Vibes [Mini Series, Prequel]- A sequel-in-installments to the shenanigans following F*ckfest, where Chava returns to visit Sala and return to ‘one of her favorite venues', which now hosts GoF*ckYourself (GFY), the biggest summertime festival in the region. Festival Trip II [First Sequel ]- It's been a magical year and the breakup is over; A 20-something's imaginary friend returns, a decade after disappearing, just as she finds herself on the brink of ‘real adulthood', and has settled into the mundane and mediocre—as he leads her on a journey of self-discovery, she internally struggles with whether to tell her therapist—after deciding (or rather, being convinced) she shouldn't, she begins a desperate search for answers in what seems like a downward spiral into (Use- I'm on my way to heaven, for trailer.) A group of friends decide to form their own society after discovering an “uncharted” island—what they don't know [understand] is that the world government is observing at every angle—and as their population increases, they struggle as the popularity of their culture and lifestyle explode— Craig's world- an ensemble about the good old days of craigslist Ū [Amnesia/Working Title] Miami (Ami) A fashion designer and music enthusiast who attends festivals in her spare time, seeking inspiration for her fashion and design blog; she shares an apartment with her lesbian best friend from college, who works as a freelance writer and photographer. Crystal (Chrys) A short-haired-yet-feminine gender-non-conforming lovable with a dry sense of humor and an eye for art; Music lover and fan of festivals, Miami's “convert” into the rave world. Serra- A high-matinence instagram model who supports herself through social media promotion and influencing, modeling Miami's fashion line and sugar-babying/arm-candying to make her way through life, usually attending festivals as someone's date or just to take pictures/show face. Samuel/Donnie- Sensei Samurai: An award-winning world-renowned music artist and specialty DJ, the soul-headliner of ‘Magic's Mountain art and Music Festival' Daz- Sam/Donnie's Manager- (Antagonist) Lazers, pyrotechnics, strobes, and confetti light the night sky as Sensei Samurai, a medium-build white guy sporting two long braids and a samurai cut (his signature style), dances atop the table which supports a state-of-the-art DJ set-up; The stage is massive, the crowd is wild--but he is at home--or rather, at work, and at the top of his game. He jumps down from the table, drinking from a red solo cup, before he picks up the microphone to speak to his audience: Samuel: LET ME SEE YOU FUCKING JUMP. He dances around, flailing his arms to gesture to the crowd, drinking again from his red solo cup . He moves to the beat of the music as he focuses to adjust the mixer, structuring a build-up. His manager watches from backstage, carefully eying his every move. Samuel: --ARE YOU GUYS READY? [He lights a ciggarette, sips from his cup again as he continues to mix. He nods along to the beat, grooving as he plots his next move, looking into the crowd with hunger in his eye.] Dez: (speaking into a earpiece) Sammy, take it easy... [He glances stage left, to where Dez is situated and watching him like a hawk; He nonchalantly shrugs, blowing out a plume of smoke into the air, decisively irritated with the instruction.] Dez: (Cont'd): I mean it, chill. [Samuel sticks his finger into his ear, wiggling it profusely--and dislodges the hidden inner-earpiece, eyeing Dez as he pulls up his headphones, deep in the mix; He takes a long drag from his ciggarette, master-minding as he feverously twists the knobs and dials of the mixer.] Samuel (over the mic) NO CHILL MOTHERFUCKERS. [The music speeds as he prepares for the drop.] Dez: (forgetting momentarily that he will not be heard) Sam, don't--! [Too late. Samuel Drops the bass so hard, it hurts, ripping off his headphones and running straight into the crowd, head first to crowd surf. The crowd goes massively, insanely wild.] Through the lens of Crystal's camera, we see a series of still photos, capturing Sam's wild plunge into the crowd, just off-center in the front row. Miami looks to her right, giving her a nod of approval; Crystal shoots her a hand signal for “ok”. Miami looks to her left, lifting an eyebrow and smirking at Serra, who bounces off-beat against a tall wooky gentleman who has his arms around her through the sleeves of a spirit hood, tilting her head from side to side as she poses for selfies. Miami happily sways to the motion of the music, putting one hand over the rail and pulling up her mask with the other, as she watches Samuel be lifted back onto the stage and take his place behind the decks. The set continues, the crowd, the lazers, and the effects go wild: The backdrop reads ‘SENSEI SAMURAI' His backup dancers are acrobatic ninjas. Samuel: Thank you Magical Mountain, I Love You Guys!! The crowd goes wild as Samuel exits the stage, ignoring Dez as he breezes past him. Dez: (following after him) I thought I said, “No more crowd surfing, no more stage diving.” Samuel: I thought you said that, too. Dez: Do you recall “OhMyLanta?” Samuel: (sarcastically) Oh, you mean that festival in Atlanta? Dez: Yes. Samuel: How creative. Dez: ‘Creative' would describe the legal team's very expensive, very strenuous tactical strategy which weaseled you out of a very serious lawsuit. Samuel: What? When was this? Dez: This was when you decided to stage dive wearing goth-pants and your chains got stuck in that kid's earholes Samuel: They're called Tripp pants. Dez: Oh yeah...what do you call them after mutilating a teenager with them? Samuel: Tripp pants I can sell on eBay. I made that kid a star. Dez: You made him a cripple. Samuel: --we still talk. [EXT. A FARAWAY FOREST] Bass blasts through the christmas-lit forest, a festival set in the meadow against the lush and natural forest scenery; Attendees come-and-go to-and-from the lines of tents and out into the festival grounds, where DJs headline stages, dancers and performers interact with spectators, vendors practice their unique salesmanship, and the wild and true nature of ravers is unleashed. Frozen breath leaks from the laughing mouths of three young individuals, running through the forest; Twigs crush and leaves crackle underfoot of their prancing and galloping feet, clad in combat boots, tennis shoes, and platforms, respectively. Ripped fishnets hug the thighs that sweep together rapidly, swooshing as the legs that bare them race forward; a pashmina trails behind one's back, acting as a cape of sorts. A thud, in the darkness of the forest. Crystal and Serra continue forward, unaware their friend has fallen for a few short moments, leaving Miami behind. Miami confusedly looks for the obstruction which caused her to trip, discovering under a pile of brush and leaves, a man (Samuel) lying face down on the ground; her eyes widen and she draws slightly back, frightened, before squinting and leaning in to get a closer look; She turns on a glow toy for added light, she pants heavily under her breath, shaking slightly as she brushes away debris and leaves, uncovering his head and shoulders, revealing he is wearing a mask. She examines him. His glasses are broken, lying on the ground under his face--His hair is wet; he appears dead. Crystal: ...I told you not to wear those. Miami: Yo… Crystal: Yo--*gasps* (she grabs Serra by the shoulder, holding her back.) Serra: (She notices the body, under her pashmina, spirit hood, and glasses) Ohwhatthefuck. (she takes a few steps back) Crystal: Don't move. Serra: Yeah, fuck that. Fuck this. (she wraps the pashmina tightly around her face) [muffled] Fuck this. Crystal: ...Ami, we should get out of here. Miami: We should help him. Crystal: He may be beyond help, honey. Serra: He's fucking dead. Whatthefuck. Fuck this! Crystal: ...Is he dead? Miami: (she looks at him closely, there are no signs of life. she checks for breathing with her hand.) ...I don't know. (she checks again, leaning in closer. she grabs his wrist to check a pulse) Serra: Don't touch it! Miami: Shut up, I'm trying to get a pulse (beat) ...he's super cold. Serra: He's super dead! Miam: No, no...I don't think so. Crystal, come here--help me turn him over. Crystal: Are you sure? What if he--wakes up and tries to--?? Miami: (urgently) What if it was you? Crystal fishes for a flashlight and switchblade in her fanny pack, places the flashlight in her mouth and positioning the knife under her kandi cuffs. She cautiously inches forward. Crystal: Serra, try to get some cell service so we can call for help. The girls carefully turn him onto his back, wide eyed and bewildered. He is completely lifeless, clamy and pale--covered with dirt, and forestry. Miami continues to check for a pulse, shaking her head as he continues to appear dead. Crystal: Do you feel anything? Miami: …(shaking her head) I can't...he's like…(as she pulls up the sleeve of his hoodie and notices a familiar tattoo. she pauses for a moment, thinks, and then looks towards his head) Do you still have my mirror in your fanny pack?) Crystal returns to her fanny pack, digging for the mirror. Miami carefuly leans in towards the man, examining him once more; she notices a necklace, also familiar--she thinks, as she moves to remove first the excess hair, and then the mask from his face, very carefully. She peels off his mask, immidiately shocked as she reckognizes his face--It is Samuel, who she knows as Sensai Samurai. She yeeps (imploded gasp, making Crystal look up; she, too recognizes him; she gasps. They look at eachother, then at him--then back to eachother.) Miami: ...Give me your mirror. Crystal: Dude, is this…? Miami: Your mirror. (she holds the mirror under his nose--a subtle cloud of fog appears; he is, in fact, alive.) Crystal: Oh, my God. Miami: He's breathing. Serra! Crystal: ...This is Sensai Samurai. Miami: (trying to convince herself) It probably just looks like him…. Crystal: I just took one-hundred close-up photos, dude--like, less than an hour ago-- Miami: Shhhhh! (she frantically begins to check his pockets) He's gotta have a wallet. Crystal: What, you were going to save him--now you wanna roll him? Miami: An ID. He's got to have an ID. (she frantically searches him) Hey Serra! (Crystal lifts the other sleeve of his sweater, revealing a brightly colored wristband, and one singular kandi bracelet, which reads “Sensai” Simoltaneously, Miami has found something in one of the pockets--she produces a small box from one of the pockets of his cargo pants) Crystal: Holy fuck. Look. (she gestures the wrist band and bracelet.) Miami: ...Artist's wristband. Fuck. It is him. Crystal: [Samuel is slumped lifelessly over both Crystal and Miami's shoulders, head hanging downward and hair flailing and dangling in his face as the girls struggle to support him. His oversized light-up sunglasses begin slipping, almost revealing his eyes.] Girl:(looking over, concerned) ...Is your friend okay? [He is clearly not. Serra slides her finger up his nose to adjust his glasses, eyeing the girl suspiciously.] Crystal: [flatly] Yes. [Samuel's dead-weight pulls him towards the ground, as he slips; the girls struggle to readjust; he seems heavier by the minute. They all three stare back at the girl, awkwardly; Miami fakes an ‘everything's fine' smile, while Crystal stares blankly through her sunglasses and Serra shoots a look of dissatisfaction. [INT. KITCHEN. DAY.] The three girls gaze in awe of Donnie, multitasking busily in the kitchen, hair pinned neatly atop his head with chopsticks, wearing a neatly-pressed (as in, freshly ironed) apron, as he removes one baking mit with his mouth and works about, happily consumed and bouncily, humming. -...He's so...domestic. Crystal -You'd think he'd carry a better tune. Miami- Cause you'd be belting melodies after waking up out of a drug-induced coma? Crystal- No--I guess I'd open a bake shop in some random girls' kitchen. Miami: Donnie? Donnie: Hmm, yes? Miami: We...we have some news for you. Donnie: Oooh! Is it celebrity news? Miami:...sort of. Donnie: I hope it's juicy gossip. Crystal: Believe me--it'll be the talk of the town. Donnie: This town? Crystal: Any town. [ She refills her wine glass first, then prepares two more, never breaking eye contact with donnie; His lighthearted excitement turns to slight confusion, as he furrows his brows,] Miami: (sighs, taking his hand) Here, lets sit down. Donnie: But, the macaroons-- Serra-What? That's what you're making? [Donnie nods.] Serra-...(to the side) maybe we should let him finish the macaroons, first...what if this like, fucks him all up. Miami: No, it's time. I feel like we've already waited too long. Serra-...I feel like he makes really good macaroons. Miami: Yeah? Like grammy-award-winning macaroons? -If by ‘Grammy', you mean my Grandmother would approve… Miami: Your grandmother died of complications from diabetes. Serra-...and you think macaroons had absolutely nothing to do with that? [Crystal has already finished her first glass of wine, and begins to reach for the second glass, when Miami, out of the corner of her eye, catches her, snatching the glass from her gracefully, as she floats it to Donnie, sitting beside him, crossing her legs.] Donnie: Before noon? Crystal- Oh, so you know that rule? Donnie: I know some things. A 20-something's imaginary friend returns, a decade after disappearing, just as she finds herself on the brink of ‘real adulthood', and has settled into the mundane and mediocre—as he leads her on a journey of self-discovery, she internally struggles with whether to tell her therapist—after deciding (or rather, being convinced) she shouldn't, she begins a desperate search for answers in what seems like a downward spiral into A group of friends decide to form their own society after discovering an “uncharted” island—what they don't know [understand] is that the world government is observing at every angle—and as their population increases, they struggle as the popularity of their culture and lifestyle explode— Craig's world- an ensemble about the good old days of craigslist Blue Story A wayward security officer drunkenly fills out an application to join the police academy, and is accepted—both to his surprise, and dismay. #SQUAD OUT!- A Mockumentary-Style Comedy following several “tribes”, “squads”, “rave families”, and even solo-ravers surrounding a large group of ravers and friends. Ū [Amnesia/Working Title] Amnesia [Working Title] Three girls at a camping festival find an incapacitated man in the woods and take him back to their campsite for safety—when one of the girls discovers that she recognizes the mysterious man, actually a headliner at the festival they're attending—two of the girls keep it a secret from their friend who would certainly take advantage of the situation. After discovering a “butt-load” of mind-altering substances on his person, Miami, the ring leader, makes a ‘judgement call' not to call the authorities, deciding instead to attempt to take him back to his trailer—however—when the girls haul him back to his campsite, they discover his manager, Dez, rifling through his belongings. When Samuel awakens, he has no memory of himself—and so a journey begins: a test of friendship, and a race against the clock. Miami (Ami) A fashion designer and music enthusiast who attends festivals in her spare time, seeking inspiration for her fashion and design blog; she shares an apartment with her lesbian best friend from college, who works as a freelance writer and photographer. Crystal (Chrys) A short-haired-yet-feminine gender-non-conforming lovable with a dry sense of humor and an eye for art; Music lover and fan of festivals, Miami's “convert” into the rave world. Shane- A high-matinence instagram model who supports herself through social media promotion and influencing, modeling Miami's fashion line and sugar-babying/arm-candying to make her way through life, usually attending festivals as someone's date or just to take pictures/show face. DONNIE “*giggles* what's a rave?” Miami (takes a deep breath) Crystal (facepalm) Shane (purses her lips) C-Is Giving drugs to somebody with amnesia bad? M-I don't know what's bad for amnesia S-Well maybe, it's not giving it to him that would be bad—like, they were already in his system, probably wouldn't he go like, into withdraw or something. You're probably right S-(I'm probably not) Samuel/Donnie- Sensei Samurai: An award-winning world-renowned music artist and specialty DJ, the soul-headliner of ‘Magic's Mountain art and Music Festival' Daz- Sam/Donnie's Manager- (Antagonist-) Lazers, pyrotechnics, strobes, and confetti light the night sky as Sensei Samurai, a medium-build white guy sporting two long braids and a samurai cut (his signature style), dances atop the table which supports a state-of-the-art DJ set-up; The stage is massive, the crowd is wild--but he is at home--or rather, at work, and at the top of his game. He jumps down from the table, drinking from a red solo cup, before he picks up the microphone to speak to his audience: Samuel: LET ME SEE YOU FUCKING JUMP. He dances around, flailing his arms to gesture to the crowd, drinking again from his red solo cup . He moves to the beat of the music as he focuses to adjust the mixer, structuring a build-up. His manager watches from backstage, carefully eying his every move. Samuel: --ARE YOU GUYS READY? [He lights a ciggarette, sips from his cup again as he continues to mix. He nods along to the beat, grooving as he plots his next move, looking into the crowd with hunger in his eye.] Dez: (speaking into a earpiece) Sammy, take it easy... [He glances stage left, to where Dez is situated and watching him like a hawk; He nonchalantly shrugs, blowing out a plume of smoke into the air, decisively irritated with the instruction.] Dez: (Cont'd): I mean it, chill. [Samuel sticks his finger into his ear, wiggling it profusely--and dislodges the hidden inner-earpiece, eyeing Dez as he pulls up his headphones, deep in the mix; He takes a long drag from his ciggarette, master-minding as he feverously twists the knobs and dials of the mixer.] Samuel (over the mic) NO CHILL MOTHERFUCKERS. [The music speeds as he prepares for the drop.] Dez: (forgetting momentarily that he will not be heard) Sam, don't--! [Too late. Samuel Drops the bass so hard, it hurts, ripping off his headphones and running straight into the crowd, head first to crowd surf. The crowd goes massively, insanely wild.] Through the lens of Crystal's camera, we see a series of still photos, capturing Sam's wild plunge into the crowd, just off-center in the front row. Miami looks to her right, giving her a nod of approval; Crystal shoots her a hand signal for “ok”. Miami looks to her left, lifting an eyebrow and smirking at Serra, who bounces off-beat against a tall wooky gentleman who has his arms around her through the sleeves of a spirit hood, tilting her head from side to side as she poses for selfies. Miami happily sways to the motion of the music, putting one hand over the rail and pulling up her mask with the other, as she watches Samuel be lifted back onto the stage and take his place behind the decks. The set continues, the crowd, the lazers, and the effects go wild: The backdrop reads ‘SENSEI SAMURAI' His backup dancers are acrobatic ninjas. Samuel: Thank you Magical Mountain, I Love You Guys!! The crowd goes wild as Samuel exits the stage, ignoring Dez as he breezes past him. Dez: (following after him) I thought I said, “No more crowd surfing, no more stage diving.” Samuel: I thought you said that, too. Dez: Do you recall “OhMyLanta?” Samuel: (sarcastically) Oh, you mean that festival in Atlanta? Dez: Yes. Samuel: How creative. Dez: ‘Creative' would describe the legal team's very expensive, very strenuous tactical strategy which weaseled you out of a very serious lawsuit. Samuel: Law-Suit? I've never worn one of those. Black-Label? Dez: More like ‘black-book' with your name written on and in it. It took me weeks clean up. Samuel: When was this? Dez: When you decided to stage dive wearing goth-pants and one of your chains got stuck in that kid's earhole. Samuel: They're called ‘Tripp' pants. Dez: Oh yeah...what do you call them after mutilating a teenager with them? Samuel: Tripp pants I can sell on eBay. Dez: You made him a cripple. Samuel: --we still talk. Bass blasts through the christmas-lit forest, a festival set in the meadow against the lush and natural forest scenery; Attendees come-and-go to-and-from the lines of tents and out into the festival grounds, where DJs headline stages, dancers and performers interact with spectators, vendors practice their unique salesmanship, and the wild and true nature of ravers is unleashed. Frozen breath leaks from the laughing mouths of three young individuals, running through the forest; Twigs crush and leaves crackle underfoot of their prancing and galloping feet, clad in combat boots, tennis shoes, and platforms, respectively. Ripped fishnets hug the thighs that sweep together rapidly, swooshing as the legs that bare them race forward; a pashmina trails behind one's back, acting as a cape of sorts. A thud, in the darkness of the forest. Crystal and Shane continue forward, unaware their friend has fallen for a few short moments, leaving Miami behind. Miami confusedly looks for the obstruction which caused her to trip, discovering under a pile of brush and leaves, a man (Samuel) lying face down on the ground; her eyes widen and she draws slightly back, frightened, before squinting and leaning in to get a closer look; She turns on a glow toy for added light, she pants heavily under her breath, shaking slightly as she brushes away debris and leaves, uncovering his head and shoulders, revealing he is wearing a mask. She examines him. His glasses are broken, lying on the ground under his face--His hair is wet; he appears dead. Miami is horrified, speechless, breathless. Crystal: ...I told you not to wear those. Miami: Yo… Crystal: Yo--*gasps* (she grabs Shane by the shoulder, holding her back.) Shane: (She notices the body, under her pashmina, spirit hood, and glasses) Ohwhatthefuck. (she takes a few steps back) Crystal: Don't move. Serra: Yeah, fuck that. Fuck this. (she wraps the pashmina tightly around her face) [muffled] Fuck this. Crystal: ...Ami, we should get out of here. Miami: We should help him. Crystal: He may be beyond help, honey. Shane: He's fucking dead. Whatthefuck. Cystal: ...Is he dead? Miami: (she looks at him closely, there are no signs of life. she checks for breathing with her hand.) ...I don't know. (she checks again, leaning in closer. she grabs his wrist to check a pulse) Shane: Don't touch it! Miami: Shut up, I'm trying to get a pulse (beat) ...he's super cold. Shane: He's super dead! Miam: No, no...I don't think so. Crystal, come here--help me turn him over. Crystal: Are you sure? What if he--wakes up and tries to--?? Miami: (urgently) What if it was you? Crystal fishes for a flashlight and switchblade in her fanny pack, places the flashlight in her mouth and positioning the knife under her kandi cuffs. She cautiously inches forward. Crystal: Shane, try to get some cell service so we can call for help. The girls carefully turn him onto his back, wide eyed and bewildered. He is completely lifeless, clamy and pale--covered with dirt, and forestry. Miami continues to check for a pulse, shaking her head as he continues to appear dead. Crystal: Do you feel anything? Miami: …(shaking her head) I can't...he's like…(as she pulls up the sleeve of his hoodie and notices a familiar tattoo. she pauses for a moment, thinks, and then looks towards his head) Do you still have my mirror in your fanny pack?) Crystal returns to her fanny pack, digging for the mirror. Miami carefuly leans in towards the man, examining him once more; she notices a necklace, also familiar--she thinks, as she moves to remove first the excess hair, and then the mask from his face, very carefully. She peels off his mask, immidiately shocked as she reckognizes his face--It is Samuel, who she knows as Sensai Samurai. She yeeps (imploded gasp, making Crystal look up; she, too recognizes him; she gasps. They look at eachother, then at him--then back to eachother.) Miami: ...Give me your mirror. Crystal: Dude, is this…? Miami: Your mirror. (she holds the mirror under his nose--a subtle cloud of fog appears; he is, in fact, alive.) Crystal: Oh, my God. Miami: He's breathing. Shane! Crystal: ...This is Sensai Samurai. Miami: (trying to convince herself) It probably just looks like him…. Crystal: I just took one-hundred close-up photos, dude--like, less than an hour ago-- Miami: Shhhhh! (she frantically begins to check his pockets) He's gotta have a wallet. Crystal: What, you were going to save him--now you wanna roll him? Miami: An ID. He's got to have an ID. (she frantically searches him) Hey Shane! (Crystal lifts the other sleeve of his sweater, revealing a brightly colored wristband, and one singular kandi bracelet, which reads “Sensai” Simultaneously, Miami has found something in one of the pockets--she produces a small box from one of the pockets of his cargo pants) Crystal: Holy fuck. Look. (she gestures the wrist band and bracelet.) Miami: ...Artist's wristband. Fuck. It is him. Crystal: [Samuel is slumped lifelessly over both Crystal and Miami's shoulders, head hanging downward and hair flailing and dangling in his face as the girls struggle to support him. His oversized light-up sunglasses begin slipping, almost revealing his eyes.] Girl:(looking over, concerned) ...Is your friend okay? [He is clearly not. Serra slides her finger up his nose to adjust his glasses, eyeing the girl suspiciously.] Crystal: [flatly] Yes. [Samuel's dead-weight pulls him towards the ground, as he slips; the girls struggle to readjust; he seems heavier by the minute. They all three stare back at the girl, awkwardly; Miami fakes an ‘everything's fine' smile, while Crystal stares blankly through her sunglasses and Serra shoots a look of dissatisfaction. [INT. KITCHEN. DAY.] The three girls gaze in awe of Donnie, multitasking busily in the kitchen, hair pinned neatly atop his head with chopsticks, wearing a neatly-pressed (as in, freshly ironed) apron, as he removes one baking mit with his mouth and works about, happily consumed and bouncily, humming. -...He's so...domestic. Crystal -You'd think he'd carry a better tune. Miami- Cause you'd be belting melodies after waking up out of a drug-induced coma? Crystal- No--I guess I'd open a bake shop in some random girls' kitchen. Miami: Donnie? Donnie: Hmm, yes? Miami: We...we have some news for you. Donnie: Oooh! Is it celebrity news? Miami:...sort of. Donnie: I hope it's juicy gossip. Crystal: Believe me--it'll be the talk of the town. Donnie: This town? Crystal: Any town. [ She refills her wine glass first, then prepares two more, never breaking eye contact with donnie; His lighthearted excitement turns to slight confusion, as he furrows his brows,] Miami: (sighs, taking his hand) Here, lets sit down. Donnie: But, the macaroons-- Serra-What? That's what you're making? [Donnie nods.] Serra-...(to the side) maybe we should let him finish the macaroons, first...what if this like, fucks him all up. Miami: No, it's time. I feel like we've already waited too long. Serra-...I feel like he makes really good macaroons. Miami: Yeah? Like grammy-award-winning macaroons? -If by ‘Grammy', you mean my Grandmother would approve… Miami: Your grandmother died of complications from diabetes. Serra-...and you think macaroons had absolutely nothing to do with that? [Crystal has already finished her first glass of wine, and begins to reach for the second glass, when Miami, out of the corner of her eye, catches her, snatching the glass from her gracefully, as she floats it to Donnie, sitting beside him, crossing her legs.] Donnie: Before noon? Crystal- Oh, so you know that rule? Donnie: I know some things. Under The Mask —A superstar DJ and his best friend embark on a series of festivals under cover as non-celebrity citizens to first-handedly experience the other side of his world. Grandma's Girl- A funeral turns into an accidentally epic week-long house party, after the ‘favorite grand child' becomes disappointed in the traditional send-off given by the family; While grieving and going through her late-grandmothers belongings, Serra discovers journals and an old phonebook, containing the life and times of her wildly adventurous grandma and her close friends—when she realizes that none of the people from her grandmother's life ‘before the family' are in attendance of her funeral (or even aware of her passing), she links up with her best friends to organize a ‘proper goodbye'. All heaven breaks loose, when ‘ravers of old' begin showing up to pay their respects to Silvia—things get a little out-of-hand when the gathering explodes due-to-word of mouth, as it turns out Grandma Silvia had a few more connections than expected—and they've all come from near-and-far to say their goodbyes. Deathwish—A series about a woman who makes a death wish—but the stakes are raised wen all her wildest dreams come true, and death lurks just around the corner at every turn. ((M3))- A collection of silent films, by SupaCree Enter: World of Music Ascension- Set in a parallel universe, Father TIme and Mother Nature are reconnected on Earth, as the dawn of a new-era arises at the peak of mankind's evolutionary journey. Series is set in a parralell universe, a seperate realm where humans have met faced dark ages, technological or technological setbacks they live harmoniously and peacefully within— live spiritually and intuitively with the planet, and can gain/ strengthen certain abilities through higher learning, strength training, conditionig, and meditation; We begin at the dawn of a new age, where beings ('God Bodies' [working])acended from higher plains of conciousness walk amongst the living in 'humanform', guided and led to higher forms of being through teachings of the Acended sorcerers and masters belonging to the universal collective conciousness of light; Also amongst the living, in 'humanform', Costumes: Modern-Futuristic da ‘Thieo' makes his final wish (for his truest and ever lasting love) to his appointed Acceded Sorcerer; but there are trials he must endure and obstacles to be met before his wish come true— C'Esmett— A warrior princess raised to rule is on on the brink of going rouge, after she is betrayed by her betrothed —her calling to become queen is imminent; yet she must overcome boundaries set by tradition, facing the powers-that-be to strengthen and master her own. Her ancient knowledge, ascended sorcery, and intrinsic healing mysticism— amongst other gifts of nature (a seer, fortune of truths; being of light) “I'm sorry, but it's out of my control.” “NOTHING Is out of your control." "--Except for you." She scorns him, and turns away swiftly, as her cape sweeps across the floor, as it flutters and whips behind her “I'm sorry, but it's out of my control.” “NOTHING Is out of your control." "--Except for you." She scorns him, and turns away swiftly, as her cape sweeps across the floor, as it flutters and whips behind her--she turns again, eyeing him directly, pointing to him with dismay as she takes in a breath; catching herself in anger, she deflates, keeping eye contact (though her gaze suddenly softens as she arrives ‘ACENSION' Ascension- Set in a parallel universe, Father TIme and Mother Nature are reconnected on Earth, as the dawn of a new-era arises at the peak of mankind's evolutionary journey. CHARACTERS Thïeo {Petrutheïo} Godform Spiritclad Cross-Bodied sorcerer; Humanborn earthbound in his most recent incarnation to rule in the new age…(t b c) C'Esmétt {Ch'Esmett X'oxįl Nazari is the most powerful being on planet Earth, and throughout multiple dimensions, through which she presides over, in various forms and figures; She possesses the universe's oldest Soul. a Godform Spiritclad Ascended Sorceress who possesses rare “Creation Energy”—the ability to form and shape matter, bend and travel through time, and control aspects of reality; Youthful and fiery, she is praised as a God of Light; Supporting: Kï'yara—Fireborn, Earthbound Rai'ayn—Loveborn, Multi-Dimentional Onyyxx—Rooted, Tri-Dimentiinal The elements: Love Matter Earth -Of Ground -Of Water -Of Fire -Of Air ...there are more but I'm tired right now. The realms: Now Then (points in the past to which time bending bodies may access) The past (inaccessible points on past timelines to those in human form or bound to earth, besides Godform; even so, the process is strenuous and dangerous. Love Self (to self, to travel inward and reflect a physical presence of the world within, outwardly; true self exists freely and ideally—you are able to converse with self as others see you [appearing as an identical twin with ideal aspects. Light therapy Frequencies Vibrationally energizing Body waves are Paralyzing Lines of Broken harmonies Inside of me. Crying on the clock; Rocking back and forth Stocking full of coal Greetings from the North Pole If Santa Clause is real Maybe we can make a deal; If my heart is made of steel You can't steal it—I can feel it Winter is here The world is money hungry (So am I) The world is simply starving (So am I) The world is so alarming (So am I) The world is just evolving. (So I am.) Cause I've been going crazy Stuck inside myself And I've been feeling lazy Just beside myself And I've been thinking lately That just maybe, someday maybe I'll be It's all connected— The reason we disconnect Is we're neglected I wonder what you'd expect You can't express it Just repress it. Repression syndrome— Came up too fast; Compression syndrome Suck it in Suck it up, You stupid fuck Dive deeper Ū (EP) 1. Thank U 2. I'm Sorry 3. I Love U 4. I miss U I like your vibe Come join my squad Curiosity killed the cat Carbohydrates killed the queen Don't cry “I'll try...” 50 Shades of Blue Don't pick up the phone Don't pick up the phone Don't pick up the phone Don't pick up the phone And here you are: 8 years later, With a baby on your back and— Bills to pay You have to decide (What the fuck) what the world is all about today. Don't want to be Cree For a really long time I just need I just need I just need a whole mind I was me the whole time I never left And yet There I was—looking at myself from above, All the love in the world; Just a lonely little girl Trapped in her Head Never got out of bed, that day: But I went away somewhere, And there I was—looking at myself from above, All the love in the world, Just a lonely little girl Trapped in her Head And I said “why are you waking me up?” But I wasn't asleep— I just wanted to fuck And sometimes, it's too much Too much is, never enough I've never been in love (with me) But I've always been in love (with you) And if you had seen it It wouldn't have been the death of me. Deeper I'll go: Deeper to find How I crossed white lines To become Colorblind How did you find me, here My deer? How did you know Where to go? How did you know, I would Follow you there, Once you finally showed me the road? I've seen both the frog, and the toad; You've already left me exposed, And I'm frozen in time Just to find Just to find Paradise— I tried. But love is a blind bat, Diving into a vat of Darkness; a hat is only a hat, If only there was more— And there is. There always is more— You just have to live more, And once you've been through the cycles, you could be Recycled. Ruined. Rebuilt. Guilt is only ever, Created after pleasure... With immense imploding pressure - [ ] You were born EP-GA [2K19] Mother Earth and Father Time are Making love right By the fire You are motion— I am sickness I am goddess; Be my witness. And I'll probably run for President— Just like I tend to run from everything; not because I want to do it, but because I have to... And just as I run from everything, I run to everything— As is the vicious cycle of life, unrepeated. I should have seen it coming, when he kicked my puppy—I didn't, but my mother did, and it might have been the same day. If not, it was definitely on the same porch—the same porch where...my adolescence began, and ended. There is no cure When your spirit is broken There is no cure—when you suffer in silence There is no cure— When you've seen all the violence It's only you. Breadcrumbs— I'm not dumb, I'm just muted. The dragon I'm chasing is me, And I just... Set the world on fire— I just—need to— I just—adjust. Translucent and transparent I am the thing that happens when you Parent your own parents. And I just I been waking up randomly, Panicking— Wishing I was dancing In the moonlight I'm vanishing without a trace And maybe I just hate this place, Maybe I'm just displaced I hate this I been waking up randomly Filling the void Avoiding my eyes in reflections I fell in love at a festival She came to dance, she was solo oh-oh ...took my hand, sack let's go- oh—oh-oh She didn't care She didn't care I'm a tax write-off I'm a meal ticket I'm a grasshopper; Or maybe, a cricket— Ricochet rabbit Why am I like this? “Why do you fight this?” I was not invited to mingle This ‘tingle' I get is more than A threat—I regretted, The moments I never forget The secrets you keep The stories you never will tell— This is hell, you're not dreaming It's only a nightmare. Too much to think about So I don't Dissociative, I associate everything Within—without I reflect everything I've been about, Stuck beside myself I am just a clone, A lone shadow of my Own All alone, and— I never planned to leave this planet But I have. You're out of my league Out of my league Why can't you see that It's so hard to be Paying the price for this Quarter-life crisis I don't mean to write this So bad, but I can't trust myself anymore I can't trust this world anymore Life is just Too complicated I'm jaded—I'm faded out Phased out, going about in this Town like I'm drowning in Insecurity Or rather, a diamond in the rough I've got enough stuff I just need love. You're out of my league I can see that I can't be that, thing What you want is perfection I just like who you are and thats— Never enough. I have nothing but love to give, love So forgive this: I didn't think I'd live this long But I was wrong And it was longer than I thought Ago Life is just Too complicated I'm jaded—I'm faded out Phased out, going about in this Town like I'm drowning in Insecurity Do you wanna know what it's like to be lonely like me I can tell you better than show you Once I get to know you good luck AMNESIA NOTES Miami Wade Crystal Brooks Donder (Donny) “we'll just call you Donny” “Why?” Uhhh...Because...we found you in the woods. “What?” “You know, like—the wild thornberrys” “Sounds tasty” “Uhhh—wasn't Donny found in the Jungle” “Uhhh—isn't the jungle just a denser version of the woods?” “I guess. It's like an earth-remix” “What's a remix?” Miami wells up—Crystal jumps up excitedly “Awwwwri And I've been stuck on Abbot Kinney, Thinking about Will Rodgers and Thinking that I'm a dodgers fan— But I'm not, I just like crowds. And LA makes me proud Of everything I need to be: And if the world were watching me She'd think she was herself. I was never sleeping, I'm just here And I was never reading, I just Put the bookmark where I left off... I could drift off into, The taste of ink And as it dries in my palm— I know it won't take long until I'm Drifting back into—sifting back into Space—grains of sand. You'll know when you've reached the promised land. Hello, Good Friend: ‘It's time to fall in love...with yourself.' The world has the most to learn from its elders and it's youth—fever disrespect the sometimes even subtle wisdom of a child or your elders. A1 (Lost in the Sauce) Break beats Ruffneck Bass: That's what I like in my face Drop that shit, don't make me wait Make me dance off all this waste I like chocolate, give me cake Wednesday mornin' wake-n-bake Star Jones—Oprah—Ricky lake Which is real and which is fake? Pick the right one, no mistake River—ocean—crater lake “White girl: can I touch your hair? Is it fake??” Out of order— Order steak. [ Sample: The Epic Trip] [interlude- two friends at a festival//a phone call] “Where the fuck are you?” “I can't hear you!” “Hello?” “BRO. Where are you?” “I'm by the—WAIT—hello?!” “WHAT? ” “HELLO?” [the call drops] “Yo. Where the fuck is she?” “I don't know man, probably lost in the sauce...” Sample Lost In The jungle//Kendrick Boo Boo Friends that say that they “gotchu” and then don't Ain't your friends— they're enemies Keep them close Nobody gives a fuck about you— Except you— Remember that. And if you can't remember Make a habit of forgetting Cause you're just another member of society With social anxiety Your sense of propriety Probably shouldn't be Anything I'd give anything Just to take back all my fucks Put them in a bucket, Throw it over my shoulder And wish the world “Good fucking luck” I'm so done with it This is the last chance you get So have fun with it There's no pleasure, no smiles— No love in it I'm just driving for miles Above the shit Transitions- Silent Film/EP Kandi moves to a new city from far, far away—and finds herself lost trying to find her own vibe. ❤️ 1. The Bus Song 2. Pretty Girls (SupaCreeMixx) 3. DOD (Phoenixx remix) “Holy infected fuck!” [thats my vibe right now] North Star After an EMP attack, an unlikely leader becomes a guide to a group of survivors to find the way northward to Alaska. Festival Trip Chava Hoffs- A Voluptuous Dark-Skinned Alaska Native-Black Mixed fashionista who (to her disdain) earns a living as a correctional officer in a juvenile detention facility in Arctic Alaska, daydreaming her long nights away and stacking her money, saving up for an escape to someplace warm and sunny. She is bright and quick-witted, but sometimes awkward—truly a ball of energy, whether good or bad. Sala Emilio (Stax) A tall, olive skinned hottie from Utah of Native American and Mexican decent who works as head chef in a gourmet Chinese food restaurant—a phenomenally functional alcoholic with a free spirit, questionable morals, good values, a loving heart—and a dry sense of humor. Childhood best friends with Chava, I hope you're okay with the character I based off you. I'm not going to copy the story exactly (cause it's a movie, duh) so—I came up with the story that your character runs the kitchen of a classy gourmet 5-Star Chinese restaurant in Utah that has an all-Mexican staff of mostly illegals; my character is a CO at a youth correctional facility in remote Alaska—I felt like those two extremes would play funnier on camera than to replicate our actual situations. I also made them not parents, because I would rather take the whole issue of parenting and raving into a completely separate film idea, I'm thinking of calling it Festival Project A Film Saga by SupaCree Inspired by True Events Festival Trip- Two lifelong friends take a two-week-long trip across the country, to attend two major music festivals—one on the west coast (Among Aliens, in California), and one on the east (Ultimate Music Festival) The Epic Trip – After breaking up with both her ex-fiance and her best friend, a depressed and anxious Chava decides to take a last-minute trip to another one of her bucket list destinations: The Epic Music Festival in Las Vegas, Nevada. F*ckFest: The Origins (Prequel) 21-year-old Chava Hoffs, a longtime raver and lover of all things dance culture, finally convinces her bar-scene best friend to accompany her to a regional event in her area, ‘F*ckfest', Sala's first ever festival/rave where—to both her and Chava's surprise, she connects with other longtime friends she had no idea were immersed into the culture. Sala, having been “rave-retired” since entering her first serious relationship, becomes overly-excited and branches off on her own, reconnecting with her true self after spending too long in her own shell—she discovers her love for an up-and-coming new artist (‘Shluggy') who magnetizes her with a newly-created sound (‘PukeRock'—a play on “VomitStep”) Vibes [Mini Series]- A sequel-in-installments to the shenanigans following F*ckfest, where Chava returns to visit Sala and return to ‘one of her favorite venues', which now hosts Festival Trip II- After reconciling, Chava and Sala unite again to journey to uncharted territories—after Chava is invited along as a journalist to cover artists belonging to an up-and-coming record label based in Alaska, she invites Sala as a tag-along, knowing that her “weird hoe-magic” will attract—as always—even more interesting personalities and circumstances than she could dream to on her own. Chava Hoffs Sala Emillio Gunther Ross- The more than interesting circus-act of a plug/one of Sala's romantic interests, who just happens to be in the same place at the same time, once Sala and Chava arrive in California. Solomon Dominguez- Chava's “homie-lover-friend”, a DC native transplanted to LA who hustles and bustles the 3-job life to live the California dream—a surprisingly dedicated and loyal friend to Chava, who considers him the “king of fuckboys”—which, is not entirely untrue. Johnny McEntire- An eclectic and friendly photographer who stumbles upon Sala during a vulnerable moment—a sweet, humble, and vibrant personality, Chava mostly dismisses him as just another victim of Sala's constantly-inconstant romantic gestures and affiliations. Grace Williams (Chava's Super-Christian (but very sweet) Aunt) Billy Williams- Chava's very dorky, southern Baptist uncle who can't help but throw in a (praise-jesus) Krista DeVaunte- Bride-To-Be—Noah's Fiance Noah Williams- Chava's Cousin, the groom to be Naomi Williams- Chava's salty Cousin, and freinemy since birth—Noah's younger sister Sonny Johnson— Chava's ex-fiance Dustin Roberts—Sala's ex-boyfriend Juan Manuel Jose Melendez Gutierrez-Rodriguez—Sala's current boyfriend, with whom she lives & works with. Running Jokes: Speaking Spanish with a Mandarin-inflenced dialect—speaking/yelling in awful Spanish-soundingMandarin—speaking “Mandarish” or “Spandarin” Every time Chava mentions Sonny (her ex), Sala interjects with “Fuck Sonny!” Cop Jokes (due to Chava's occupation) ACT I- The Wedding Bashers/It's Festival Season “Save-The-Date” Inciting Incident—Plans to attend a destination wedding that Chava and her lifelong long distance best friend Sala, have been planning for almost a year are abruptly halted when Chava learns via a very eventful facetime call (‘Meet The Williams') that her +1 invitation had apparently only applied to her now-ex-fiance [whom her stuck-up family adored because of his abhorrent Christianity], and that the bride-to-be would not allow Sala to take his place on the guest list—as her vivid memories of Sala from Chava's engagement party are severly grotesque. Flashback: Chava + Sonny's engagement party. Chava: Yeah dude, they got all, mad-butthurt that I was bringing you instead of Sonny. Sala: Fuck Sonny! A remote, unnamed city in the Alaskan Arctic Circle. It is severely cold, even visually so. Ch ACT II- Sunny California ACT III- Sunny Florida Excerpt- Festival Trip I As chava blasts away, Sala and Johnny laugh hysterically Sala: Dat ass tho! Their laughter fades in the distance as she speeds up, other onlookers also commenting about her ass, as she blows past a group of men in black, she turns a man's head as she catches his attention. Man: Daaaaaamn. 3.31.19 —Later— The same man from earlier looks out the window of his high rise penthouse suite, across from Chava's hotel—and sees Chava levitating—he pauses, looks around, and raises his eyebrows, drunkenly and assumingly otherwise intoxicated in his appearance. Man: Daaaaamn. Chava is freaking out, remaining motionless as she floats above the bed—she looks out the side of her peripheral, afraid to move—looking up at the ceiling, her eyes widen. She blinks, and takes a deep breath. He questions what he is seeing, as he pours himself a drink. 4.1.2019 As Chava dances through the crowds, she connects and trades Kandi, moving to the beat with intricate motion and flare—people are loving her (a musical dance number)—from backstage, a man pouts and purses his lips, wondering why she is familiar—he is momentarily lost in thought, as he gazes at her and the crowd. Man: (under his breath) Daaamn... Lackey: c'mon man, let's get the fuck out of here Man: But— Lackey: don't worry, you know there's gon' be hoes at the spot. Man: ...but look at her viiibe...and that ass tho—damn! Lackey: eehhhh. You wanna ass, I got a specific folder in my contacts titled “fat ass” with 300 bitches in it— Man: *women* Lackey: whatever—look—I could get you an ass twice as fat, on a dime twice as fine—in 10 minutes flat. Man: (eyes shining, like domo) but look at her aura... Lackey: —I think I got an Aurora in here Man: No, like— Lackey: (pulling at him) let's *go*, the fuck is you trippin..? His eyes won't move away, but he is led by the lackey by his arm, confusededly pouting as he is dragged along. Man: Damn. He feels like he knows her. Cut back to: CHAVA'S ENTRY DANCE scene ACT 1: Wedding Bashers Here we meet Chava Hoffs and Sala Emillio; Two life-long long-distance best friends who love eachother--for the most part--for better or worse. Sala (Pinky) and Chala (The Brain) are planning a tropical mexican vacation to a destination wedding Chava's been invited to as an excuse to celebrate Chava's upcoming birthday (held the same weekend as the wedding) in style--However, when Chava's exclusively classist family alerts her that her plus-one invitation only extended to her on-again-off-again fiance and absolutely excludes Sala, they desperately search for another way to escape their mundane and excruciatingly boring circumstances. Chava internet-searches events around her birthday and finds that there are two music festivals within the same week--running the numbers, she concludes that this alternative plan would actually cost less than the original--”so why not?” The young women keep their escapade-to-be a complete secret, disguising all the preliminary details as “wedding planning” They plan to ‘meet in the middle', Los Angeles being centrally located to both their respective homes. They meet at LAX excitedly and reuinte in happy (and drunken) tears. ACT 2: Sunny California Chava wants to visit old friends and reminisce as a “wannabe tourist” in an all-too-familiar city, which she used to call home--she's built a list of things to do and prepared an itinerary for the week; Sala wants to get riddegy-wrecked sun-up to sundown; Worlds collide as somewhat by-the-book Chava nervously nativages around, typically babysitting Sala and often falling victim to being steered off-course by her shenanigans. Within their first few moments under the California moonlight, Sala's smartphone helps her discover that she has a nearby group of friends--conveniently banded-together by her circus act “master plug”, who is devastatingly in love with her. They spend night one of the first festival tracking him down--Sala finds herself already exhausted by Sala's timing and drunken unsubtlety (“My friend's a COP!”) They finally meet him at the end of the first day, they allow him to tag along--until he becomes almost-suddenly dysfunctionally inebriated and Chava must make a fight-or-flight decision to leave him behind, after he begins drawing attention to their vulnerable crew, and she is approached at random by a mysterious character in a gas station convenience store, where she appears to be the most sober person. On day two, after running at top-speed to catch the shuttle, Sala drunkenly makes friends with a group of young people (fresh out of high school), who to Chava are quite “wookish”, but she plays along anyway. However, by the time they exit the shuttle and Chava has finallybecome comfortable being invited into their squad; Chala decides to ditch them--unknowing that they will re-meet later in the night. Excerpt- Festival Trip I As chava blasts away, Sala and Johnny laugh hysterically Sala: Dat ass tho! Their laughter fades in the distance as she speeds up, other onlookers also commenting about her ass, as she blows past a group of men in black, she turns a man's head as she catches his attention. Man: Daaaaaamn. 3.31.19 —Later— The same man from earlier looks out the window of his high rise penthouse suite, across from Chava's hotel—and sees Chava levitating—he pauses, looks around, and raises his eyebrows, drunkenly and assumingly otherwise intoxicated in his appearance. Man: Daaaaamn. Chava is freaking out, remaining motionless as she floats above the bed—she looks out the side of her peripheral, afraid to move—looking up at the ceiling, her eyes widen. She blinks, and takes a deep breath. He questions what he is seeing, as he pours himself a drink. 4.1.2019 As Chava dances through the crowds, she connects and trades Kandi, moving to the beat with intricate motion and flare—people are loving her (a musical dance number)—from backstage, a man pouts and purses his lips, wondering why she is familiar—he is momentarily lost in thought, as he gazes at her and the crowd. Man: (under his breath) Daaamn... Lackey: c'mon man, let's get the fuck out of here Man: But— Lackey: don't worry, you know there's gon' be hoes at the spot. Man: ...but look at her viiibe...and that ass tho—damn! Lackey: eehhhh. You wanna ass, I got a specific folder in m

this is a cringeworthy read, i'm sure of it. {THE TIME CAPSULE] Here lies everything I won't delete, but wouldn't dare to publish (as of yet), and therefore banish to the land and/or realm of impossibility, where everything entirely consists of unimaginable, unfathomable, inconceivable, never-ever-happened ( or will) unexistence. Nothing Here Exists. Amen. (I didn't write this.) The Colenel's Jounal. “Would he be mad reading this shit? “ I mean. I have to step back at this point and admit to reading this shit to myself at this point, that... I stumbled upon an interview with none other than The Great Mike Tyson--who--if coincidences actually existed--coincidentally dated my mother oh-way-back-when. I remember the shenanigans she went through to get him to sign a pair of boxing gloves for an auction she hosted, once, when I was younger. For that, I've always gotten a little chuckle, whenever I've randomly ended up watching something. Dude is funny. As for other dude? I'm so lost. It's almost like Insomniac (or whoever) can read my thoughts--or at the very least, my text messages. It's been a year of strangeness, and I'm now more lost than found. Why is Pasqualle so strangely familiar? What is this connection, i'm missing? Who am I, if not S U P A C R E E? I'm aware of my cosmic insignificance, my societal displacement. I am nothing useful that I know of, but it seems so that I've been being followed. So maybe he's not a white supremacist, after all...he seems to love as much as I do--if not more. So, that one's my fault, as everything is. I wonder if the window of opportunity has truly closed. I wonder what to make of all this, at all. I'm so, so confused, and so lost, and so… ...confused... First, I levitated. Still can't get over that (literally) Then....everything else. Literally everything else. From playing drums at Ruskos set, to weirdly making my way to Excision, just “following a vibe”--my failed suicide attempt, and running away to Bass Canyon where, everything in my reality officially shattered. Now, here I am...about to be homeless, jobless, and lost in love. I can't shake it off anymore, I can't let it go. My brain's wrapped around all of it, all the time. Prayers, Mantras, Methods. I'm driving myself crazy trying to wish away the pain. I need to be...need to be… … Needed. Bearr needs me. Sometimes, in all the pain--I fail to see that. But he does--and if I can't make it in show business...how are we meant to survive? There's no room for depression and poverty in motherhood. After losing the twins...I just can't. I can't be sad and parent at the same time. And, maybe that makes me weak. Maybe it makes me stupid. Maybe I've just had enough. But there's nothing I wouldn't give just to know that there's love, somewhere out there for me. Is it selfish that that's all I want? I think i'm a good person, but maybe i'm wrong. I can account for hundreds of premonitions, predictions, visions--outstanding sensitivity to energy...but how could I misread, and misjudge, so easily? Something inside me never really made it out of that tent. Then, going back--maybe it was all of me, that never made it out of that ambulance. Am I just the special kid in class--and it's obvious I've been left behind? When I hear myself speak aloudt, I wonder if I am retarded. I feel other people also wonder. Either way, how would anyone have known about my musical history so broadly, as it's been displayed? There's no going back from it. I can't go back to being a regular “Skrillex” fan. It's almost like...almost like I can't go back at all. And I miss that, a lot--just being able to be honest about what my taste in music is, who my favorite musician is…. I tense up when I hear the word “Skrillex”. In good company, I can shrug it off, I guess…. But on any regular day, it still feels deep. It doesn't leave my mind, ever. I can pretend to move on, but I can't unlove. I can't unlove. So, i'm two-for-two...three-for-three, if you count Josh Pan's video, where his face swells up and he turns into a reptile… I remember waking up for work with swollen eyes, and bulging, puffy skin...the way the spiral to insanity began...not with suicide, at all--at least, in the traditional sense. I was working 80 hours a week. I needed it--I needed out of my marriage. Pasqualle's sweater Sonny's Sweater, now falling apart--because, yes--I've worn it every day for nearly a year. A red, white, and blue blanket, reminding me of my presidential ambitions--which have since, not faded...but become realistically reflected with this sense that, I have much to fulfill between now-and-never. I'll only run for President if I can afford it. I can only afford it if I am successful in music. I found it heartwarming that Mike Tyson is so enamoured by the culture. To see him swell with joy, such as I have, upon discovering the world of raves. Apparently, there will be some kind of permanent Oasis, someday...I hope I live to see it. Better yet, I hope I live to play there. I want my chance on all the stages, as selfish as it may seem. To earn a place behind the decks, an unrealized dream. But, can I find it to become all that it takes? To read and move a room, to create and connect with people, live onstage. To inspire a crowd--telling a story with music. To give love, the best way that I can. I miss myself...but no I don't. I do miss never having to worry about whether I was too fat to be found attractive by someone I vehemently admire--but never thought about sexually, in all of the years i've loved watching him live. But, its a vibe. Much ado about Elon Musk. I'm not smart enough to become a rocket scientist--and it's too late for me to become an astronaut, as I once dreamed...but there's something in the space above us all, that seems to connect the space between us all--and it's almost as is the walls are caving in. Time and space continues to collapse upon itself. I might be broken forever...but then, I always was. Who'd have thought the Grand Prize for your third suicide attempt is a Skrillex? I'm cursed, in the way that...it won't fall off. My brain won't un-Sonny itself. I'm on default to give a fuck now, and there's no turning back. I guess this is what I get for hating on *fangirls*...now i am one. Problem is, I'm a lot less cute. How often does shit like this happen? There's hypnosis through music--and then there's losing your entire soul to something outside of yourself. Why and how am I so out of place, in this world? ‘You're too good for this world.' Nothing's been forgotten, it's just getting more suppressed. I can pretend to move on, but I won't. I just found the Holy Mecca of research for my weird, invasive project. Apparently DeadMau5 had some kind of comedy show, or something--called “coffee run” It seems to be about...2014, but haven't bothered to check yet--I'm sure, though that this predates the infamous ‘fued'. Blah blah blah--i'm learning too much about these people. People. Real people. ...was interrupted to watch the new episode of Rick and Morty; Lucky me. One half-hour and several belly-rolling laughs later, I'm back...with slightly more self confidence that, if The Heavens grant me whatever kind of combination of confidence and focus that it will take to bring the Festival Saga If nobody's sampled this video, I've stumbled upon a literal goldmine. Life imitates art--and music imitates music. “I love it when it's super sweaty.” (How do I resonate with this so well?) “ A Los Angeles Real Estate Guy In Torono”, says Dillon. “Yeah, there's a few of those.”, Joel recants, stoically. Now i'm watching people who never mattered on YouTube, in a finally “Sonny says…” If i can ever make my brain learn the magic that makes something like Ableton somehow turn into a banger. “Does he drive?!” I've wondered this myself. “I don't think he does.” I knew it. Dillon Francis' awkwardness is reminiscent of mine...again, here I am wondering...who I might be if I were born a white male--if nothing was changed, but the body. CRUSTPUNKS. How did I get here? Oh, yeah. I specifically opened an incognito window to...fuck it. I know what I'm here for. The thing is, I don't know what i'm blessed with. I don't know that i'm talented… It could all just be a Grand Delusion… Do I hate myself enough to try this? A movie where the entirety of the fabric of [my] universe is music, and the musicians that make it. A universe that already existed in the Multiverse of Rick and Morty, since it's strange inception into my being. Wait, how the fuck did I get here? I was already on a writing tangent Probably--I hate enough to “ i get to go home--not tomorrow, but the next day” This experience is becoming so humanizing. It is a job, this music shit--Touring takes you everywhere but home. What the fuck is ‘home?' Perhaps I am meant for this shit, after all. I don't have a home, anyway. I also don't have any music under my belt, but--with any luck, I can pump out the LP I promised my twins. Today Marks 5 years since Skyy passed away. May 23rd will be 2 years, since Phoenixx left us. It's not a good time of year, for grief. With no friends I can trust (Annie's Toxicity is again rearing its head), no family that loves me the way a family should...I find myself completely isolating from what Love is, almost forgetting what it might have felt like. “How often are you home?” “KAAAAHHHHHHHHHN” If i'm ever lucky enough to learn how to make Dupstep--that deserves to go before a fucking deadly drop. I've officially seen Skrillex more times in person than ever on video--which disincluded, of course, the tent incident--something I'm realizing that if I'm unable to catch up with myself in time, I'll have to live with forever. Can I answer my own prayers? At this point, i've given up any expectation of what it might be like to achieved enough to earn any kind of place in that world *their* world... 5/6/2020 Life is unfair sometimes. Like--do I want tacos, or divine inspiration? Do I put off fasting for yet another day, just for the temporary comfort and satisfaction of eating? Does limiting my eating to once every 24-hour-or-less suffice as enough of a self-sacrifice, that my prayers might be answered? I highly doubt that it is, but still--I often ride the line between just allowing myself to feel good when I can (and food does, make me feel so....so good) and remaining steady in my fasting. Then, it has been over 6 months of almost constant fasting and praying, all over someone I haven't properly met--all over myself. Because, the longer I stay in this mindset--the clearer it becomes that it is all the same. At the core, there's only really one thing in existence. Skyy will have passed away 5 years ago tomorrow. To think, I should have had 5-year-old twins. They would have been so beautiful; I've never quite imagined them so, umti now. I miss my babies so much. Will I ever be okay again? I thought to record a song for Skyy, but it would never be ready by tomorrow, in the perfect way that I would want it to be. I don't want to put out anything less than the best. I'm being as patient as I possibly can with teaching myself--but grow frustrated in my limitations. The only thing standing between me, and the tools I need to make the music I have...is me. (Really, it's money.) Lack of money is keeping me from being unstoppable. With unlimited money, I'd have a home--I could fully pay all 4-years of my tuition at UCLA….ny dream school. I'd study music, anthropology, astrology….maybe even engineering. I can't make myself prettier--but I can make myself smarter. Google University just isn't cutting it. I want to make a difference in the world by any means, and i'm trapped behind the gate of poverty. I just want a closet full of harem pants, chuck taylors, and T-shirts with stuff I like on them. I just want to wear my kandi every day. I just want to be behind the decks atop the stages of my favorite places… I want to be someone's favorite DJ. I want to be one of my favorite DJ's favorite DJ I, I, I… How selfish. What does the world need? Less people. Well, i'm honestly one-less, I guess, if I can;t make it in music, in art. If I can't make a decent living just by being myself...i'm not meant to live at all. That much is true--no life worth living includes waking up every day to go to a job I hate, that barely pays my bills. No life is worth living that Something strange happens to me when my favorite people go ‘live' on instagram Social Media, a young demon with whom I constantly evade, when I am not forcibly fighting to fit the status quo (which, I cannot.) Watching my social media right now is like the digital equivalent of “You can't sit with us.” I've grown attached to OWSLA like some sort of distant, imaginary family--only, I know this is something I've just embedded into my mind--the ultimate wishful thinking. Everything I do seems fragile, as if the grid I had discovered not only exists in the outer world, but also my inner--that everything I do, think, say, sing, speak makes a difference in what will happen moving forward. Reawakening my center has been difficult, saying the very least--I am almost paralyzed by negativity--made catatonic through senses with which I cannot control; My ‘home' life has become a hell where i'll-spirits and pitiful thoughts are cast about me--in reality, I have no home. In truth, I'm unsure that I have any purpose, either. It's all been bothering me… Now it's something that just hurts, like everything else. Add to the pain, subtract from willingness to live. Add to the trauma, subtract from the motivation to succeed. How much of my fault is this? Who did it? What is it for? Amongst the most otherworldly of theories, the possibility that extraterrestrials had actual involvement in removing Sonny from wherever he was supposed to be (Burning Man, albeit) and placing him where I was. I've wondered how else the dancing shadows cast against the canvas of the tent were so perfectly made-- ancient egyptian prophecies foretold as a light show, in the moments leading up to the one where the entirety of my being was shifted, in an instant. I dreamed of a B2B with Skrillex, and instead got a face-to-face with Sonny Moore. One, apparently, does not quite equal the other. Eight (or so) months later, and I've filtered through all the stages of grief--for all of the ways I had to lose him--as much as one could be lost, without actually dying. But, perhaps I am dead. My soul and spirit at least, are trapped, and tainted torturously from all I've come to gather. Running into the night, like a bat fresh out of hell, away from the visions I was forced to have from our exchange-- I can only imagine, had I acted any differently and stayed, rather than fled what else I may have seen. In only the few short moments we shared together...I was able to see more of his life than for anyone I've ever ‘seen' for, besides myself. To have, after only a few moments--seen both backwards into his past--and forwards into a seemingly shared future of some sort. I don't know what else to call this creepy psychic shit, other than “seeing”. To even call myself a “seer” would be a heavy title, I'd be too uncomfortable to claim. Still, vivid memories of the dude's past--and chilling premonitions of the future, have left me disgustingly sick with a concern that wholly did not exist, beforehand. But, when faced with the question: “What would it be like to actually lose him?” I fucking lost it. I've never taken well to celebrity deaths--perhaps, overly sensitive in ways that suite absolutely nobody--I just so happen to have fallen apart numerous times, upon learning of the passing of those i've long cherished. I collapsed fully at Michael Jackson's passing, scrolling through the African TV channels in disbelief, as I desperately searched for a News Channel in English to confirm that it was indeed, true. This was, of course, a couple years after I cried for hours with Back to Black on repeat in the wake of Amy Winehouses' death--going even further back, I can recall arguing with a classmate that Steve Erwin, another hero, was brave--rather than ‘stupid', and undeserving of his untimeley demise. A special place lies in my heart for the day I remember losing Robin Williams-- a weird memory which collides in the now, with my affinity for Skrillex music and the strange outer connectivity my emotions seem to have in the passing of those I wholeheartedly admire; I've shed tears for Whitney Houston, Prince--I've shed tears for all of them. But none so much as for Skrillex, who is [surprisingly] still alive… And I'm mad about it. I'm mad about it, because I was [partially] happy in my place, as a fan. I wasn't even the best fan, or the biggest fan (metaphorically speaking--physically, though--I probably hold a record of some sort.) I wasn't following his social media--I wasn't following his anything, honestly. I was just crossing my fingers that with every lineup released, I might find the name “Skrillex” plastered to the top of it, or standing out broadly against the other ‘S' names, if alphabetically presented. I'm mad about it, because I hate myself. I've been hating myself my entire life. But i've never hated that I loved Skrillex--in fact, I've always been quite proud, having watched the project skyrocket, as EDM penetrated pop-culture in the years following my college endeavors. Never really thought to think that at any point, we might be equals. We're not--outwardly, anyway. Inwardly, though? Fuck me. It's like I'm bound to it by the roots of the Tree of Life. Like something in my DNA was activated by an overabundance of Skrillex. I've undoubtedly, and by far crossed the threshold of having listened to 10,000 Hours of Skrillex, guaranteed. No calculations needed. Still, there are perhaps millions of others who share the same affinity--and at least a few thousands who are more outwardly obsessive than in. It works, when I need to know something I'd rather just ask Sonny myself, but can't--there's always a kid in the fan pool who has been quick to find whatever information I'm looking for, long, long before I've come to look for it. Poor guy. For almost an entire year, that's all I've really been able to think. ‘Poor guy.' Because, if the roles were reversed--and for whatever reason I decided to make my way into someone's tent at a music festival (I wouldn't) and I scared them into a shock, resulting in them fleeing away from me--I'd feel like shit. And, if I had been touring my entire life and watched the culture grow and morph into the nearly unmanageable able monster it has become--i'd feel like shit. If I had to watch an ambulance cart away someone in the crowd during one of my sets, I'd feel like shit. If I had to do a live set while I felt like shit, I'd feel like shit. and ...if some random fan fell head over heels in love with me, simply because I crawled into her tent, or made really good music, or made her feel some kind of way… I'd feel like shit. And that shit probably happens all the time. It's been 10 long years for me, with Skrillex-- but I can't imagine how long the last 10 years have been, as Skrillex. Now I think about all the shit DJs go through, being DJs….what's more, I've had to give in-depth thought to what it means to be a celebrity at all--what it might be like to have someone grow an obsession over you--unprovokingly. Although my ‘obsession' for this particular person can't technically be considered ‘unprovoked' (I was minding my own business, after all--and Skrillex was not on the lineup.) I can't help but feel for those in the limelight whose charisma and talent combined attract every type of creeper imaginable. I'm just the kind of creeper that wants to make music; any previous searches as an attempt to ‘get to know' Skrillex, previous to last August, originated in attempting to comprehend how to create such organic sounds--exploring and studying how intricately layered and carefully arranged each of my favorite sounds and songs were made. Piecing together how exactly an artist like such, had become as such. Now, i'm just entangled in self-doubt, as it seems the entire next generation is equipped with whatever skillset it takes to become an electronic musician. Self-doubt, as I fear that my body weight intimidated him as much as his presence intimidated me. Again: All me. All bad. I've nowhere to turn to to unleash this shit--it has to be a secret-- and even letting it slip to Annie in the isolation of the aftermath has felt like a mistake, since I allowed it to happen. Can I keep a secret? Ha. There are things that only I know, certainly. The premonition I did subtly speak of, I refused to unearth in detail, even to Annie. The other visions I was made to have, still my own secret; I've begun to wonder if, upon meeting Sonny, I would keep it to myself; I suppose that would depend on nature and context. But, I think about it every day. It is my first thought upon waking up, my final thought before coming to rest--it has permeated into the only dreams I ever have anymore--crowds my semi-waking thoughts as I toss-and-turn throughout the night; the amount of energy exchanged, the amount of concern that consumes me....lets me know that it is all apart of something far beyond my comprehension, far beyond my senses...far beyond any understanding of the universe that I may have. And, it hurts. As bad as it is for me, it's probably worse for him--IF he remembers any of it. Then, probably a seasoned drinker (lol, “probably”) There's a good chance that, well-- he does remember. Oh God no. If I could motion to be erased, I would. I've been trying to erase myself for the better part of a year, including and certainly not limited to August 4th--an attempt I can stand to think I had not fully recovered from by the time it all happened. What the fuck did happen? Though it can't be denied that each of us possesses some kind of magic--the origins of mine can be traced back, at least on one side. Powers I was ‘born with', as told by my father--something I only believed until I was old enough that it didn't make sense--and something I was forced to recognize once I was old enough that it did. I want to know what exactly it is that ties us... Where this love--which is what it is, undeniably-- originates. I've spent the better part of the last year praying and meditating, and attempting to loosen the knots in my stomach enough to self-soothe enough to settle that, at worst-- Sonny was just being a pretty white boy, looking for a good time--and I just became a victim by knowing how to have one. Alternately--how fuck fuck would he even know I exist? As i've stated, I was the epitome of a silent Skrillex fan, prior to all these spectacular occurrences. I may have, at some point online--said something about Skrillex being my Spirit Animal… (still true) But can't imagine what else might have been garnered in my attainable, tangible history, which would alert him of my existence at all. Then, with all the money in the world, you truly can do anything… And that's what I hate in all this. Him--having all the money in the world, and me, having none… The very thing that separates us from settlement, myself from closure. Really, the only thing I want. Closure. ‘I got love, fuck your money.' Sonny can be anyone--he's earned that right. He can be with anyone--deservingly so. I want for him the very best--and, knowing that I am not (physically, anyway) am dismissive of any judgement cast. I wouldn't want me, either--looks matter, I know. I just want to know what he means to me--in this lifetime, in this realm, in this reality. I didn't have to be moved from where I was to be inspired by him--I just always was. I didn't have to think about being attracted to him--I just always was. I didn't have to think about being connected through the music--I just always was. And it all came crashing down in a tent, at the bottom of the rabbit hole--where I lost my mind--after having already lost my soul, to something beyond the senses, long ago. I committed wholly and permanently to making music when Phoneixx died, almost 2 years ago. The point was never to sound like Skrillex, but rather to be like Skrillex, as an artist--but, after much speculative examination--I guess, I always was. I lost myself in the early days of Myspace. From First To Last rang through the hallways of my middle school's corridors. Chiodos carried me through the days of wrist-cutting and air-dust huffing, through the days of binging-and-purging, wishing I was prettier--and in the height of all that is the drama of living in my very own Teenaged Wasteland… The Rocket Summer was handed to me by the hands of an angel, as I transitioned out of awkward adolescent depression and into an almost-well-adjusted life at a performing arts school, as an aspiring musician, singer, dancer and storyteller… The dream that carried me out of Utah, and into the Heart of Hollywood at the age of 16… The dream I thought died, long ago. When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? Billie Ellish's spirit collided with mine, as the first time I heard her voice, I shattered inwardly, and shivered in the resonance that is the understanding of pain, born undoubtedly in love; I shuddered to think that someone so young could feel so devoid of the willingness to live, to move onward. My response upon first experiencing her music, of course, a genuine “...Is she ok?” Three little words. I tend to really mean them, any time I ask. “Are you OK?!” I blurted, as my entire self exploded into shock, as I immediately recognized the face I've known for years--and looked through the widened eyes of one so now devastatingly human--to something inside of myself. Something about my voice shifted him; He became a mirror for all my pain, all my doubt--all the shame I have, for all that I am-- my demons came straight to the surface. Voiceless, now, and shielded in the fetal position, we faced each other silently. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm Sorry.', I thought loudly, as I lay panicking. I stared down into my chest, ashamed to be anything but invisible, thoughts racing. I dare not lift my head to look at him. My heart pounded, as I lay screaming silent apologies for my appearance--for my very presence, for my own existence. I couldn't process his presence in my reality. Choking back tears, I tried not even to so much as breathe, as I silently apologized for being born--and though I wanted nothing more than to reach out to hold him, I lay all-but-lifelessly--wondering what went so wrong that he would seek to find me. The familiar smell of liquor permeated the air, as my heart sank, throbbing as it pounded...I know an alcoholic, when I smell one. I did actually wonder if he was okay....(and I've been wondering daily, ever since.) But clearly, he wasn't okay. Clearly, I wasn't. Clearly, nobody's ok. He slipped his praying hands between my thighs, as I died inside--and all my outer senses blended to become all, and nothing at once, again. Exit Skrillex, Enter Sonny. How does a mere peasant earn a spot in the company of the Highest Priest? I've not bargained with the Devil, but begged the Heavens that my life would end before his...the First Fast emerged as a direct result of self-sacrifice; To serve as a protection against misjudgement--to realign my soul with it's true intensive purpose--in hopes that my body would shrink to form something suitable. The memory of his hands between my thighs, a haunting reminder that--I just may be too big for him… The reality is...of all that I am, and all that I have, and all that I wish to be...it just may be that--he's too big for me… metaphorically speaking. I'll have to become a damn-near Superstar, just to get to know the people--that know the people--that know the people, that know people who can connect me to Sonny, on any level. I'll have to get in line behind millions of other hopeful DJ's, producers, singers, dancers, songwriters--hundreds of thousands of entertainers who might kill-or-die to get to know Skrillex in any way-shape-or form. Romantically, I'd be competing against at least a million perfect-bodied beauty-queen fangirls who would do anything--and I mean anything--for their shot at Skrillex. The truth is, I'm not trying to get to know Skrillex; The truth is, i'd rather know Sonny. (Whatever that's supposed to mean, right?) I don't question at all our potential compatibility; there's no doubt in my mind that there's some chemistry between us--be it of ancient origin, an extra terrestrial genetic code, or otherwise...but I'd bet any money I actually had, that someone as highly regarded as Skrillex would be ridiculed, trolled, and tremendously hated by many, many fans--for associating with someone like me. I don't even know if it's like that--but, again--crawling into someone's tent is...kind of intimate. What in Heavens would one want with me, when he could have perfection-- Absolute perfection? I kind of get it. I'm used to being fetishised. I've always been the black girl who liked white guys--I've lead a life that's made it easy to learn that Jungle Fever is often taboo among the White Caucasion men who find black women attractive enough to fuck--but would never want to “date” us, or bring us home. I've learned that--at the end of the day-- most white guys, want white kids--even if they like to fuck black girls. Then, there's the added bonus of some genetic flaw which has allowed my body to at one point, have ballooned up to 380 pounds-- a body which, even after a 200+ pound weight loss, would disgust anyone with eyes, in what most would consider “cute rave attire”. And, although shrinking from a size 28 to a size 10 is somewhat of a ‘grand' achievement, I look like an asymmetrical potato sack with my clothes off. If there's anything I know about men--and especially the affluent ones--they love to have trophies to showcase. I've yet to see a body like mine on the red carpet, or as arm candy--or as the leading lady, anywhere. No, there's no such thing as a fat Cinderella. Still, he's one of the most handsome creatures i've ever seen-- undoubtedly one of the most beautiful creatures on this planet. I will continue to love what I know of him wholly and unconditionally. On my best days, I even hope to live long enough, and well enough to have the honor of properly meeting him. Never could I have the courage to ask him on a date--nor would I subject him to the cruelty of the outer world by alluding to the fact that he may, in fact be someone more important to me, than as just a musician--as with anyone i've ever loved, I only want for him the best. On my worst days, The Devil assures me that it was Annie he was really looking for, who he may have seen me with at the plethora of festivals we attended together last year--or perhaps, even Idania, who was supposed to have been there with me…and it would make sense. The Devil also constantly reminds me of how much prettier they both are than me--and better in every way. But, it was long ago that I came to terms with the fact that anyone who might come to love me--would also love Annie and would love her more thoroughly--her, having the more attractive body and face, being more ideally pretty. Standing next to Annie, I always lose. Even on a good day. All this, I can be sure to cast aside, however--because at the very best--he was looking for me, and everything between then-and-now builds into something of substance or significance… and at worse, my favorite figure in music absolutely hates me, and regrets my existence as much as I do. Either way, Skrillex hits hard any time of the day, any day of the week. And… Either way, Sonny hits home, all day, every day--until I can manage to learn to speak. Eight pages later, and it still hurts. Eight pages, and i'm still mad. I'm still crying. I'm still useless. I'm still stuck. Stuck on stupid. Stuck on Sonny. Stuck on Skrillex. Just… Stuck. And it hurts. 5/5 Another day. Nothing makes me hate myself more than waking up. ‘Don't look at the phone.' instructions, handed to me some time ago by the Divine--since then, I make it a point not to look at my phone, if I can help it, before I've sat up to pray, and meditate. Lately, I've been unable to relax at all enough to focus on a proper meditation, before realizing my actual self-worth (nothing), and falling into the depressive non-motion that has been me. How many evil men will it take being caught in the midst of, will it take for me to realize that I've been allowing myself to painfully absorb their essences, even without a single touch? Just living here alone has set me further back from my goals than I was--then--I'm beginning to feel that my ‘roomate' may have ties to White Supremacy; the evidence does just keep on building. It has occured to me that Jason's warning that Nick may be deep undercover for some Government agency is most likely true. Though I err on the side of not snooping through other peoples' things--I've happened to stumble across indicators which point to the likely case that he is, in fact, hired by the government or some other private entity--probably as part of some secret experiment, assigned to psycologically torture and disable mentally fragile individuals; It seems as though the experiement was designed in order to test morale, will power, self-control, and proper judgement-- tests which I've been concious of, but in the moment have not always cared about passing-or-failing. From the painful assortment of disgusting and obnoxious sounds make throughout the day, torturing me through unpleasant and peace-shattering sounds, left victimized by my synesthesia and recently pinpointed misophonia--or something similar...whatever it is that makes slamming doors, cabinets, and the items crashing to the floor after lazily being thrown across the room methods of torture. To the cavalcade of poisonous, sugary and addicted substances, which only seem to appear or are offered during crucial fasts--or, pushily and passive-aggressively left in my living space without asking whether or not i'd like any. Just left there, to be discovered upon finishing a shower, or returning from a nightly walk. And on days when I am actually hungry, or needing to eat? I am offered nothing. Only when I fast am I ever offered any sustenance. It says almost too much about my roomate as a person--to offer every time, or never at all would be acceptable, and understandable--but to only invite one to eat when one feels so ‘inclined' is beyond cruelty. It's privilege showing itself to be one of the only faces uglier than mine, that i'm aware of. While i've elected to use my headphones as a shield, life's not always easy immersed in a sound bath of isochronic tones and Theta Waves--and though it does excite me to have expanded my music library, with additions and updates I've been longing for ages-- it's almost more stressful to think about the amount of music that I don't have. Songs I would add to my “sets”, if you can call them that. If I can call myself a DJ--if I can call myself a person, anymore. Really, all I am is hurt feelings and trauma wrapped in flesh; I might be less of a person than I ever was, once. Everything costs--whether it be money, the world's currency--or time, the currency of the soul. Torturous is the life of an artist, who cannot herself make ‘art', as she sees fit. Everyone in Hollywood has a screenplay in their back pocket; Everyone in LA has a dream, two-to-three-jobs, and a side hustle--and me? I'm just learning to DJ to self-soothe, having given up hope of ever becoming anything greater than the happiest guest at the rave nearest you. It's harder than it looks….(or, maybe it isn't, and i'm just retarded.) Building a music collection worthy enough to grace the decks in any of my favorite venues, is an arduous task--maybe this is why all the popular DJs are pretty white boys--the proof is in the privilege. Money, money, money...I used to make plenty of it, and was always exhausted--now I make none, and am always exhausted. What's worth what cost? Time = Money. In LA, and in the world. But by anyone's definition--and especially mine--LA is the world. Or, at the very least, sets the tone for the world. Truly, nothing is free. DJing is more expensive than I could have ever imagined--once again, in any direction I turn, there's a ladder to climb. I've not got the time or energy left in my sadly depleting lifesource left to storm gates, crawling over heads and cutting down those in my way. While it's certain that ‘Competitive Greatness' is the key atop the Pyramid of Success, there are 14 other bricks below to lay the foundation of that which one might call success, to be garnered as imagined through the eyes of a man, anyway, who lived in the 1930's. John L. Wooden may have been right--and may still be right--if I were a standard male (we'll leave race out of it, for now…..for now.) Still, i've been using the Pyrimid of Success as a guidepost, in what it is exactly I may have to do, or be, in order to become something. Not even something great, just something. Perhaps, if I can make it to being something, eventually I might become someone. Oh, to be a person would be nice. For now, I'll just have to settle on tricking my useless sack of anatomy into being a DJ. There's nothing outside of it, anymore. Bass Canyon truly was my last rave--not that I enjoyed it, honestly. Though I've attempted to retrain my brain around the trauma which resulted from that weekend, it did serve as a turning point--a sort of going-away party, as I departed from my home as a no-holds-bar Kandi Kid. Happy Graduation, OG Raver! Little did I know that, with the multidimentionality of our universe, I would be presented, through the world of possibility--the ability to at least observe with the naked eye that there lie more beyond the decks-- a space that may have been made for me. I'll never forget the moment I knew I would be a DJ--or at least try, for the life (or the death) of me. Electric Daisy Carnival changed my life--an experience ten years in the making that catapulted me into the depths of my wildest dreams--unbeknownst to me that I hadn't yet the ability to swim, in such that is the tempest of my own subconscious mind. But--that part of this story deserves its own dedicated elaboration; For now, i'll only look back--and realize that it was there that I aligned with my highest self in the truest sense, that, at least then, I actually believed that I could become a top DJ. I've lost the flight to stay afloat in the salty sea that is the millions of other people trying to make it to the mainstages of our favorite places, and begun to sink into the reality of the entertainment industry as a whole...the reality of the world, as a whole anymore. Looking around at the world's top DJs is less encouraging and inspirational than it should be. Nearly every headliner looks like every kid who ever bullied me, every guy who ever turned me down--every kid hosting the party I wasn't invited to. As for the females of the bunch--I find it frustrating that not one yet has been of any color other than yellow--and even then--we all know the world's men love Asian women. While I can admire girls like Rezz and Allison Wonderland--I wonder what kind of career, if any, if either of them were black, or heavyset--or, my losing genetic combination: Both. Would a fat Allison Wonderland have ever made it into the industry? Would a black Rezz ever become a staple in bass music, and rave culture? If Softest. Hard had a pot belly, would she have been discovered? Then, there are up-and-comings beyond my complete comprehension--those who are visually appealing, but musically inept; I'll leave out any names, and still salute them--anyone who can wrap their brain around any standard DAW enough to make an entire song, is absolutely more talented, definitely more intelligent than I am. [I'm not.] But, I can't help but wonder: How easy was it for any of them, being so pretty, to learn to do what they do--just by being kind and asking a friend for help to learn production? In so many years of raving, I've watched beautiful girls get pulled backstage--and even pulled on stage, to connect with the artists and VIPs. I've been brought to tears as I've watched rude girls with porcelain faces caked in makeup be lifted over rails into the promised land, picked to be plucked by just her eyes and smile combined with the perfection of a flat and flawless stomach. Pretty girls always get priority. Me? Well, I get the dead eyes of the drunken DJ, staring down at me through his whiskey glass, as he beckons the stagehands to assist the perfect-bodied princess backstage...but i'm only front-and-center so I can feel the music move, and watch all the energy bounce around, matching the movement of the expert's hands on deck, to the waves of sound colliding with the rest of the world. True, my mind might wander to what wonderful experiences await the perfect princess, as she disappears behind the decks, into a world i've yet to know, but only seen: The life I know exists beyond the rails, beyond the decks...the world I can only wish to build, for myself. Big ugly black girls don't get pulled backstage. Big ugly black girls are token ancillary characters, it seems, in the plot which writes the story of the modern rave. In a sea of new-generation ravers raised by Kim Kardashian and YouTube makeup tutorials--left lost in a torturous chamber of perfection--women who can wear anything, beautifully. Women who get whatever they want, whenever they want--because they know they can; 10's, to my -3. Bottom Line: Looks matter, until all the men in the world go blind. Sad-but-true. I move not to objectify the women whose music and movement through the clearly sexist music entertainment industry. God only knows how hard each of them has worked to earn a spot so highly ranked amongst those to whom we all admire--the legends, the greats. Each woman behind the decks has become a reflection of everything I wish I ever was--but also a painful reminder of everything that I am not. Of every girl i've ever come behind. Perhaps, this is the result of growing up the as the only ‘black girl', in the backwards, racist po-dunk town I was transplanted into: A place where I spent years constantly being told, taught, and trained that it was more admirable to have light skin, blonde hair, blue eyes...then again, The Media has always done a particularly good job at creating and maintaining what the ideal beauty standard should be, or is--and an excellent job of perpetuating stereotypes. People never expect me to sound how I do, or to like what I like--because it's “white people stuff”; and ten years ago when I discovered raving, there wasn't another black girl (or boy!) in sight for miles, at any rave I went to. I was the oddity, the token--the “what the fuck” person, in an already entirely what-the-fuck place. Fast Forward to 2020: My Freshman Year as a DJ. And...as it appears, the world behind the decks is just as non-diverse as the dancefloor was when I first began this escapade through the world of immersive music. Do I want to be the first ethnically-bred Female DJ to reach the top? OF COURSE. Can I? It's not up to me. Now I'm confusededly caught in the web that is rumours circulating of an ongoing race-war, and wondering if I've been left to die smack-dab in the middle of it. Amongst currently living with a white supremacist (or, extremely ignorant and culturally intolerant biggoted racist at the very, very least.), it seems that White Superiority may be a driving theme amongst the Electronic Music Industry--that maybe the world I've rather grown up in, and come to love has more twists, turns, and dark alleys to look through than the obvious ‘secrets' that loom in the world of rave. All seeing is the eye that watches over all. Insomniac's crew is among one of the least racially diverse I've ever seen--if I were Pasqualle, I might think to at least try to make it look as though there were a plethora of ethnic backgrounds who work together to tie the knot holding together the world's biggest metaphorical kandi: Insomniac, the Kingdom of Mainstream rave culture. A global endeavor. I wonder how many i've come to admire--Pasqualle included-- are actually White Supremacists, masquerading in the power of positivity and their corporate capitalism, true beliefs and intentions. My curiosity about the man himself peaked during EDC weekend, after stumbling into sign after sign, symbol after symbol--of something I've aspired [in the past] to commit to, but also am wearlily aware of its adversity towards that of my kind; being firstly female, and secondly partially black. Now, I wonder--am I even allowed to enter into the world beyond the decks--or is that preserved for only women with perfect bodies, fair skin--attractive individuals? Does it belong only to those with money? Is there any possibility that there may be room for someone like me to enter the scene--or may only pretty girls with pretty bodies and pretty hair be allowed in the backstage world? Really, I just want to perform. I miss myself as a dancer, as a musician--as an actor, all together. I still wish I had continued on this path a decade ago, when--though weighing over 300 pounds--my confidence at least existed. Teaching myself to DJ has been one of the hardest things i've ever done; I don't know if I'm retarded, but I'm beginning to consider attempting to see someone for some kind of screening. If Paris Hilton can DJ, why is it so hard for me? If Sonny can dink around on a computer with a blown speaker, call himself ‘Skrillex' and make some of the world's most intricate music since that of Beethoven-- why can't I do the same? What makes the difference in all these YouTube tutorials telling me how to do it--and me actually being able to do it? What is it, that's wrong with my brain? But, it's all i've wanted for over a year--to be a DJ, at least. I've always been a musician; It's just been a stop-and-go, allowing for the rest of what has been my life to pass through between the times I could make music, and couldn't. I wish I had the positive support it takes to have encouraged me forward on the path I was already on, since I was 13--instead, I was told I was too fat (and too black) to succeed in the way I wanted to. 10 Years later and Lizzo is at the top of her game, while I beat myself up for losing at mine. Never could I have imagined a world where i'd see an album cover like hers; upon seeing it, I was not only shocked, but enraged: She was everything I was told I could not be. And the Truth Is: more than likely, someone told Lizzo the same thing I was told, and the difference is-- she didn't believe them, and kept moving forward. The difference is: She believed in herself, and loved herself enough to keep trying. The difference is, that everything I needed, I already had--I just never believed it to be so. I'm proud of her...but insanely jealous. My inner child cries “That should have been me.” Truth Hurts. There's more to it, than that; Envy lives in the cavernous pits deep within the confined Hell that is my subconscious mind--and--as the world begins to close in on itself, as consciousness continues expanding, I find myself fighting against the worst of my woes daily. Nowhere can I go without meeting a flawless, forward-figured, and facially exquisite female--rather than submit to catty jealousness, I have learned to admire and nod or bow as a gesture that I am a lesser creature. So now i'm left to wonder as I self-teach myself a trade, if my aspirations may ever be achieved, without possessing any outer beauty. All that's left in the world for me, now, is to become my own favorite DJ. (A title, of course, formerly belonging to Skrillex... ruined, by his untimely arrival as a physical person, into my actual life. More on that later...and infinitely.) I've lately begun asking myself “Is it really worth it?”...but, at the same time, I've never loved anything so much, as to fly on the wings of music--and so i've also wondered “What else will really make me happy?” Tough question. Ideally, I'm the entertainment Guru I always wished to be--not tied down to any one artform, but able to move about freely in all of them. There's no life without theatre--there's no light without entertainment. If living ideally, I could never be any-one-thing-- if living ideally, I am the embodiment of everything I love. But in a world where a snatched waist and a pretty face are a winning (and deadly) combination, I'm 0-0. Life of am ugly kid. Worse off yet, since even Hobo Johnson seems to have more confidence in his awkward and broken rhythms enough to speak his mind clearly enough for the rest of the world to resonate. Might be a good time to revisit, what it is exactly I came for. Perhaps, the answer is nothing: So far, I have nothing, make nothing, am nothing--if there is anything that I am, it's words on a piece of paper--just another ‘thing', another dreaming, wishful hopeful that I can rise above all that has been, and all that I am now...to become something more When training to match with the likes of the devil in preparation for battle against he, you must intend to figure, what the vehicle he has chosen has maintained to use as atool to help build you, as a Saint or an Angel--or one to break you, as Satan he. It has been a fruitful fas, but still i persist, though with a weary eye and curious mind, to the riddle i have yet been presente; ; Much ado about Chicken Soup. “Practice androgyny!” the two meet, immidiately fritening eachother; they transform-- One becomes dog, the other a cat--the cat begins to run. the dog pursues her. they run into a sunny meadow where a river feeds the wildlife and it is vibrant amongst the creatures; the cat climbs up a tree, and the [very friendly] dog stops at the base, looking up at her playfully, with an ask that she come down. She looks down from the tree at him, at a safe distance, and begins to relax on the I've fallen in love with a celebrity. What medicine cures that? Dearest Sonny, I'm unsure quite how to explain myself to you--or if I can, or should explain myself at all.I guess I could start with “I'm sorry.”, but it's almost as if that doesn't quite cover it, and nothing does. Perhaps, i'll start with just “thank you”--thank you for being you--which is something that makes me more ‘myself' than anything, at best. Really though, that's probably a good place to start with the wholehearted apology I owe you; It cannot be easy being yourself, or navigating life with such prominence, importance--as I'm sure you never intended all that you are, as any gift-given may have come as a God-honest, and God-given surprise. That being said; God is only anything that I am --as is, anything that you are. The talent that you possess is insurmountably powerful...and has touched, changed, inspired millions--changing the world and the very fabric of time itself--no matter how unintentionally, in all your humility. Somewhere hidden, I too have talent. I only wish that in this lifetime, I were granted the confidence and charisma to be able to somehow express it. Music is the matter I find I am made of--without being able to express it, I only feel burdened, trapped. It is a beautiful language you speak--you, and the rest of the artists I've grown to admire. It is a language so soothing, I can only long to learn it; I'm afraid though that in this lifetime, too much time and opportunity has passed...in this modern, technologically fast-paced new world...i've been left behind. You are truly a good friend, indeed. In all the sense that it doesn't make, I honor you as someone who has inspired, motivated, comforted, and captivated consistently throughout my existence in this time, in this life; Though i've been in recent times, able to remember your essence in lifetimes past, it is in this lifetime that I find the most befuddling, how your music itself has seemed to find and follow me.Unexplainable, would be the word that I can most easily use to describe anything having to do with it--love, would be the other word. “I love you”, is, I guess, what I was trying to say by tapping you gently three times, before running away. Really though, there aren't many things I could have said, or done--i'd never really been “starstruck” before; but it would be quite a stretch to say that it was the first time I'd been left awestruck in your presence. Countless performances, club shows; Raves are my favorite, favorite thing--second to the feel, and sound of bass. “Synesthesia”, would be the vocabulary word that explained a lifelong fascination with laser lights and deep bass; in ten years of hugging subwoofers and losing myself in the drop wondering my early adulthood mantra “Why am I like this?” almost constantly, it never mattered more to me than it has now. I recall a time where I referred to Skrillex as my spirit animal--still true, I suppose, although considering the fact I've consciously separated the Skrillex of things from the Sonny Moore of it all. One in the same, or, two separate parts of a whole--I can undeniably say all my unconventional, unconditional “I love you, I love you, I love you's”, in the everything that you are. ‘In love', would be an understatement--though which statement to actually make, i'm unsure of. I'm unsure of a lot of things, really; I've made many honest (and dishonest mistakes) in this lifetime--walking away from you, one of them. But, I can't change that, anything about who I am--or anything about the world the way it is, for I am only one--and too small, too weak, and too tired. My soul wishes for the freedom that death will bring--and so, I must let it...as its simply much too hard to live moving forward with such a badly broken spirit. I want you to understand that it is not your fault; It's nothing to do with you, or anything that you've done--the way that I love is uncontainable, once the match has been lit. I apologize again that you've become a victim in the energy field that becomes somewhat of a vortex, once activated. I didn't mean to fall in love with you--I don't know really how it happened, it just did. Maybe you don't remember me. Maybe you do. It doesn't really matter now, I just want you to know that me leaving this life is no fault of yours. I love you wholeheartedly--wholeheartedly, too, I love myself--though, seemingly only from the inside-out; there's nothing I can do about the outer shell I've been trapped in all these years. This is my body; something I would neither burden nor embarrass you with. Apologies, and all my love to you. There's nothing I want for you more than to live a happy, healthy, fulfilling life--I hope that you and those surrounding you are always, always living in peace, with joy and love--without worry, or burden, or stress; in honesty, these arre my wishes for anyone on this planet..as my love for humanity itself has only seemed to quantify, as I near the end of my life. I love, love; sometimes, I believe that I *am* love, as are any of us--but as I draw nearer to the light, it becomes harder and harder for me to believe that anything else matters, or has ever mattered, more than love. I love you. It just may be that i'm the world's biggest Skrillex fan--but to look beyond the cloak of stardom has left me longing for the embodiment of a memorable, familiar soul: The you. The person, and being that actually is; which is to say--as I would for any of my closest friends--I'd go to hell-and-back for you, give my last for you, do anything to protect you--*you*, the person; wanting and needing, expecting nothing in the world--because I cannot see a world without you in it. I'm sorry again, for any negativity. I meant to leave you behind at least, something beautiful, in exchange for all the years and moment's i've experienced through your art--but as I've mentioned before, I am trapped within myself. Symphonies unsung, melodies unwritten--because I've not what it takes to make it. I won't depart without admitting I tried, Music is my all, my everything, my guiding light--so at least in going home, I know there will always, always be the World of Sound--perhaps Heaven in the place where I can live there. I don't know what else to say. You're one of the most beautiful people i've ever seen, from the inside out--before I saw you, I heard you; before I could hear you, you were felt. I will always love you...nothing much else can matter, except that you know that. I'll never be able to erase it from my mind, never be able to forget, or look past it. I may even never understand why. Ancient Egyptian knowledge, or whatever—is the thing it seems they were trying to convey. By they, I only mean—whoever it is that wanted to hurt me. From the men shouting “kill yourself” outside my window— To the flocks of gorgeous, perfect women with perfect waists, perfect fashion, perfect faces—flaunting and floating before me, taunting me, pointing and laughing—rolling eyes, and flipping hair— and giving looks that say “I know you wish you looked as good as me.” I do. I do wish that. I wish more than anything to be beautiful. But...I keep eating. My body is hideous. I hate everything about it. I could try harder, but even that hurts. Everything hurts. Especially my heart. Why was I not more panicked, that after such a phenomenon such as that, cast by shadows against my tent—that the zipper of the door began to move slowly, from one side to another. Perhaps, I wanted the company. Maybe I needed it. What I didn't need, was more excruciating pain. No one's fault, I guess—someone wants me dead. At this point, I think me, the most. I'll never forget that face. The shocker. “Why is Skrillex in my tent?” The looming question. A question I hadn't even the time to ask, before blurting out “Are you okay?!” He froze, I froze. I guess that's where my Skrillex and my Sonny collided, as my soul began the process of separating the music I adored, and the person who made it. I will never forget his eyes. Fear. I scared him. He scared me. He scarred me. Maybe it wasn't him. I know that it *was* in fact Sonny himself (the face is unmistakable, those eyes)—but perhaps he was put up to it. Paid, for the task. Maybe my deer-in-the-headlights makes it so that he is the hunter—? How could he have missed his shot? How could I have missed mine. I've fallen in love with a celebrity. What medicine cures that? What medicine cures suicide? None I've taken, really—maybe Acid. Now, I can't seem to separate myself from Skrillex—or from Sonny—or from figuring out the two, or one in the same— or from figuring out myself, in that we are one in the same. I love him. Like a stupid teenager loves her favorite idol. Yeah, it's exactly like that, except worse—I'm a grown woman, a failure—whose aspirations and admirations are grandiose, and dillusional. Now I'm even more delusional. I thought, for a moment that Sonny might be in love with me. In honesty? Sometimes I still think that. I actually still believe that. So why this approach? I'm partially convinced he was paid to ‘finish the job', so to speak. I was already suicidal, and, fresh out of the hospital on the attempt to end my life that failed, again. So this would do it—make me hope and believe I could be something, someone, anyone—that I could be anything—even a superstar DJ-turned-future President. I'm a fucking joke. Someone, who could have anyone—in love with me? Maybe this is why people sneak into tents at music festivals: They don't love you— They just want to fuck. DAY 1: MAY 1ST, 2020; If I am offered dinner, will eat--but if not, will continue forward. Will set an alarm for 3:30 AM once roommate has gone to bed to check for his keys. Everyone gets their own suicide letter. Mom Dad Bearr Annie Yesenia Sonny (just leave it to Annie w/ his rock && burn book) Let everybody know it's not their fault. Reasons: 1. Fat 2. Ugly 3. Black 4. Poor 5. Unsuccessful 6. Friendless 7. No Charisma 8. Single I don't know why I numbered them. Do you really need more than one reason to kill yourself? (no.) I believe i”ve started the fast that I was asked. Be it that I have, the date is May 1st, 2020--however, I've been wondering if my roommate leaves the keys to his car in an accessible place; I'm kind of hoping so. I'm already craving to eat, and the first 24 hours have yet to pass. Again, i'm always given the open to keep this date and continue forward, so long that I eat before midnight--however, nothing seems like the right answer; The matter of fasting has become a damned-if-I-do, damned-if-I-don't matter...it seems that everything I do is ‘wrong', though right-and-wrong are subjective, and multidimensionally, objective, even. I probably might have been dead by now, if my car battery hadn't died...it seems like the easiest and least painful way; something easy and quiet. I've thought about sharpening a knife, just to cut and let [myself] bleed out at the wrist--but then, I fear that I may panic and that my mind would fight to survive. I've thought about hanging from one of my favorite trees-- but haven't the money left to buy any rope--which, perhaps, I could steal--but to steal enough rope to hang myself with on foot? A tricky task, to say the least. So, really, some of me is hoping my roommate leaves his keys out. At first, the thought of committing my suicide here was unsettling. My roommate, Satan's personal favorite vehicle and overall negative void of a ‘person' (or vampire, honestly), is a drama Queen--he needs not only conflict and drama to survive, but fiends for it; something in me had somehow become too proud to give him something to girlishly blabber about with his narcissistic, simple friends--I can already hear the repetitive exclamations of “horror” that would more-than-likely delight him as he recounts the story of finding my body, over-and-over...at first it rather haunted me, and now i've come to peace with--bargaining that having him find my body would be something of a statement, which wordlessly reads “sticks and stones may break my bones but words got up and killed me.” Words. Little words. Big Words. Actions. Gestures. If it's negative, I can feel it in my body, before it even happens; If it's positive, it can leave me radiating for days on end, and without a care. My “living situation” has been nothing more than a prolonging of my already disastrously failed and predominately miserable life. A mentally-ill and often psychotic mother, followed by a too- young marriage to a dynamically similar person, has left me up Shit's creek with no boat; I'm pushing 30 with no significant other, and no significance at all. There are generations of perfect people, fresh out of high school--who can and will do everything I ever thought possible or imaginable, better than me. And it's my fault. NO ENTRY ON DAY 2. Gave Myself A “Skrillex” haircut. Wow. Fuck my life. DAY 3: The fast will end today, more than likely. I am overwhelmed with grief, at loss for motivation, and struggling to believe there is any positive outcome to anything I do. I'm already getting headaches, and acute hunger pains--usually these things don't happen until well after the third day. I suppose my body is telli

Guri Bårdstu Majak er ph.d., spesialist i fødselshjelp og kvinnesykdommer, seksjonsleder og overlege ved Gynekologisk avdeling, OUS, Ullevål. Og vi er så heldige at hun kom på besøk til oss for å dele noe av det hun kan om endometriose og adenomyose. Hva er symptomene? Hva skiller de to? Hvordan er det å leve med dette? Og finnes det egentlig noen god behandling? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the season finale of Dreadtek, the team faces off against Liam in an attempt to save the anomaly. Tragedy strikes the team and the team uses everything in their arsenal just to survive.Support us on Patreon and get ad free and bonus content. For the Binge tiers you get the full seasons of new shows on the premiere date if you don't want to wait for weekly episodes. (https://www.patreon.com/CreativeTypo)---------------------------------------------------------------------------CastTisha as Sylvia RiveraNico as KnitsRichard Collins as Z.OUS!Adam Culbertson as your Game Masterand Ria Nichols as the Yogsonik Dynamics AISocial MediaTwitter @creative_typo (https://twitter.com/creative_typo)Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/creative_typo_entertainment)Creative Typo Discord Invite (https://discord.gg/creativetypo)---------------------------------------------------------------------------Music brought to you in part by: Nicolas Jeudy of DARK FANTASY STUDIO, Karl Casey at White Bat Audio, and Aim To Head---------------------------------------------------------------------------DreadTek Inc. is in no way affiliated with Wizards of The Coast or Petersen GamesIf you are interested in checking out the source book we are using for this world, it's The Technomancer's Textbook. It is for free and receives updates from the creator, Mogrit. To get the most recent update go to their discord at (https://discord.gg/u4KSSAUtwF)

Too-short tracks, dying melodies, birds mimicking electronics, the highest organ note. The musicians and collaborators discuss their important albums.Julian's picks:J Dilla – DonutsJean C. Roché – Birds Of VenezuelaFeldermelder's picks: Autechre – LP5Pedro Santos – KrishnandaBonn Route is out now via -OUS. Check it out here. Also worth checking are Feldermelder's new solo album, Euphoric Attempts, and Julian Sartorius' recent record Mux.Donate to Crucial Listening on ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/cruciallistening

Julian faces off against the Tattered King and is joined with friends that Eliana provided.With Special GuestsRichard Collins as Z.OUS!Nico Rodriguez as KnitsTisha as Sylvia RiveraSupport us on Patreon and get ad free and bonus content (https://www.patreon.com/CreativeTypo)---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------CastAdam Culbertson as your Game MasterMax Steele as Dr. Julian CottageAdditional Editing provided by Omenhawk Studios (omenhawkstudios@gmail.com)Social MediaTwitter @MicsAndMonsters (https://twitter.com/MicsAndMonsters)Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/microphones_and_monsters/)Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MicrophonesAndMonsters/)CastJunkie Discord Invite (https://discord.gg/KRgm7TA) come chat with us in #mics-and-monstersCreative Typo Discord Invite (https://discord.gg/creativetypo)You can find all Creative Typo shows at (https://creativetypo.com)---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Music in this episode by Marco Mazzei at Fallen Highway Studios and Dark Fantasy Studio---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Microphones & Monsters is in no way affiliated with Wizards of The Coast or Petersen Games

It's "In the News..." a look at the top diabetes stories and headlines of the past seven days. This week: new information about COVID and type 1 in kids, a new way to look for diabetes before symptoms appear, Medtronic may be ready to ship their 7-day infusion set, approved more than a year ago, and more. Thanks to our sponsor, T1D Exchange: www.t1dexchange.org/Stacey Check out Stacey's book: The World's Worst Diabetes Mom! Join the Diabetes Connections Facebook Group! Sign up for our newsletter here Episode Transcription Below (or coming soon!) Please visit our Sponsors & Partners - they help make the show possible! *Click here to learn more about OMNIPOD* *Click here to learn more about AFREZZA* *Click here to learn more about DEXCOM* Hello and welcome to Diabetes Connections In the News! I'm Stacey Simms and these are the top diabetes stories and headlines of the past seven days. XX In the news is brought to you by T1D Exchange! T1D Exchange is a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving outcomes for the entire T1D population. https://t1dexchange.org/stacey/ XX A pair of studies released within days of one another have produced conflicting reports related to the apparent increase in type 1 diabetes diagnoses following a COVID-19 infection in younger patients. one of the studies suggests a COVID-19 infection was associated with up to a 72% increase in new diagnoses of type 1 diabetes, the second, suggests while overall rates of diagnoses may be elevated, COVID-19 may not be the cause of increased prevalence. The second group says we need to consider what has happened regarding the spread of viruses such as enteroviruses during the pandemic, and whether there are any other environmental factors, such as sunlight exposure and vitamin D levels, that might have altered during lockdown that might also be relevant.” The group whose findings suggest covid is the link are asking families with any family history of type 1 to watch for symptoms in the year following a child's Covid diagnosis. Both groups are pushing for more study, https://www.endocrinologynetwork.com/view/studies-debate-link-between-covid-19-and-increased-type-1-diabetes-diagnoses XX Insulin pricing legislation might get another look this year.. Sens. Jeanne Shaheen, D-N.H., and Susan Collins, R-Maine, are working to update a draft bill that would cap consumer copays for insulin in the commercial market and incentivize drugmakers to lower list prices. One of the bill's provisions capping Medicare copays at $35 a month was enacted as part of the Democrats' budget bill in August. The bill would extend the $35 Medicare copay cap to the commercial market. It would also ban health plans from requiring doctors' approval before prescribing a drug and prohibit manufacturer rebates when drugmakers freeze their list prices at 2021 Medicare net rates. Senate Majority Leader Charles E. Schumer has repeatedly voiced plans to bring the bill to the floor but the timeline keeps slipping. It's not expected this would make it in front of lawmakers again until after the midterms. https://rollcall.com/2022/09/28/lawmakers-eye-lame-duck-for-unfinished-business-on-insulin/ XX The Medtronic Extended infusion set (EIS) is the newest insulin pump infusion set from Medtronic and the first and only set that can be worn for twice the wear time! With the Extended infusion set and reservoir, patients can keep the infusion sites they prefer working longer while also benefiting from the easy insertion process currently available with the MiniMedTM MioTM Advance infusion set (which also means training is a breeze). The Medtronic Extended Insuion set worn on the arm. Components of the Medtronic Extended infusion set We know you're wondering how does this work? The EIS introduces innovative technology that allows for longer wear by mitigating the insulin degradation and preservative loss seen in 2–3-day infusion sets. Specifically, it is designed with tubing that features advanced materials to help reduce insulin preservative loss and maintain insulin flow and stability. It also has a new tubing connector that improves the physical and chemical stability of insulin by filtering out insulin fibrils. Fibrils are strands of destabilized insulin that clump together and can contribute to poor glycemia due to infusion set occlusion and immune response at the infusion site.1 Lastly, the EIS has an improved adhesive patch that extends wear-time and provides comfort, keeping the infusion set in place for up to 7 days. All these elements help to further reduce the burden on the patient. What if a patient uses more than 300 units of U-100 insulin in a 7-day period? No problem. Patients with increased insulin needs will also be able to benefit from using the Extended infusion set by simply changing their reservoir mid-way through their use of the set. To support these patients, innovative and simple training resources will be made available. Stay tuned for more details regarding the Medtronic Extended infusion set and reservoir product launch later this year! In the meantime, if you have any questions, please contact your local Medtronic Diabetes representative. https://www.medtronic.com/us-en/healthcare-professionals/therapies-procedures/diabetes/education/diabetes-digest/extended-infusion-set-and-reservoir.html?fbclid=IwAR0HntZBo0NuYSH_hqPAVHQTJrvkZdXK3-pSooS5UOqPuK_S3-AM8cheYqk XX A possible new way to test for type 1 diabetes way before symptoms.. very early here but new research is trying to pinpoint the start of the auto-immune process. These researchers at Boston University say "Previous studies have focused on the triggers, genes and proteins that differentiate individuals with T1D from those without diabetes with a focus on the b-cell (b-cells create antibodies) as a target of immune destruction and blood glucose as the main abnormality Their focus is on metabolic communication as an early instigator with the b-cell as an active participant together with the immune cells," explains corresponding author Barbara Corkey, Ph.D., professor emeritus of medicine and biochemistry at BUSM. According to Corkey, her research led her to generate the testable hypothesis that the induction of autoimmunity is a consequence of one or more major inflammatory events in susceptible individuals. It's al ot more complicated than that.. I'll ink up the research published in the journal Diabetes. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2022-09-hypothesis-autoimmunity-patients-diabetes.html XX Hysterectomy is the second most common surgery for women in the United States. About 600,000 hysterectomies — the surgical removal of part or all of a woman's uterusTrusted Source — are performed in the U.S. each year. Previous research has linked hysterectomies to an increased risk of cardiovascular diseaseTrusted Source, incident hypertension, and thyroid cancer. Now, researchers from CHU de Rennes in Renne, France, have discovered a correlation between hysterectomy and increased risk for developing type 2 diabetes, especially among women under 45 years of age. The research, which has not yet been peer reviewed and published, was recently presented at the 2022 European Association for the Study of Diabetes (EASD) Annual Meeting in Stockholm, Sweden. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/women-face-increased-risk-of-type-2-diabetes-following-hysterectomy XX Gotta love this creative and possibly very useful question: when bear hibernate, why don't they get diabetes? They eat tens of thousands of calories a day, balloon in size, then barely move for months. To answer that question, Washington state University researchers went to work. To find out how, researchers drew blood serum from six captive grizzly bears—aged between five and 13 years—at the WSU Bear Center, a research facility in Pullman, Washington. They also collected bear fat tissue that they used to grow cell cultures in the lab. This experiment helped the team narrow down the bears' secret to controlling their insulin: Eight key proteins that seem to have a unique role in bear biology, working either independently or together to regulate insulin during hibernation. Because humans share most of our genes with bears, understanding the role of these eight proteins could teach scientists more about human insulin resistance, Perry says. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/hibernating-bears-could-hold-a-clue-to-treating-diabetes XX Back to the news in a moment but first.. The T1D Exchange Registry is a research study conducted online over time, designed to foster innovation and improve the lives of people with T1D. The platform is open to both adults and children with T1D living in the U.S. Personal information remains confidential and participation is fully voluntary. Once enrolled, participants will complete annual surveys and have the opportunity to sign up for other studies on specific topics related to T1D. The registry aims to improve knowledge of T1D, accelerate the discovery and development of new treatments and technologies, and generate evidence to support policy or insurance changes that help the T1D community. By sharing opinions, experiences and data, patients can help advance meaningful T1D treatment, care and policy. The registry is now available on the T1D Exchange website and is simple to navigate, mobile and user-friendly. For more information or to register, go to www.t1dregistry.org/stacey XX Couple of events coming up next week: Hope you are doing well! I'm reaching out about an upcoming virtual streaming event hosted by Dexcom on Tuesday, Oct. 4 that will feature an exciting OUS (outside the U.S.) announcement from Dexcom leadership and Dexcom Warriors around the globe. The diabetes community will have access to the event beginning at 8 a.m. BT / 3 a.m. ET / midnight PT on Oct. 4 at DexcomEvent.com. XX Do you want to learn how to think differently about your life with type 1 diabetes? Click this link to register now! ==> www.reimaginet1d.com Join Dr. Mark Heyman for the 2nd Annual ReImagine T1D virtual workshop on October 6 from 7:30p - 9:30p Eastern! ReImagine T1D will challenge you to reimagine what is possible in your life with T1D and give you a roadmap to help them get there. After attending this ReImagine T1D, you'll have practical tools and actionable strategies that will empower you to live a full, flexible life without letting the emotional burden of T1D hold you back. If you cannot attend the event live a replay will be available, but you MUST register! Click this link to register now! ==> www.reimaginet1d.com XX On the podcast next week.. I'll have more about Dexcom's announcement and you'll hear about how diabetes communities around the world pivoted during covid to better reach their people. Very cool stories from a recent conference featuring diabetes online and offline communities. This past episode is all about Listen wherever you get your podcasts That's In the News for this week.. if you like it, please share it! Thanks for joining me! See you back here soon.

In this week's episode, we have a discussion with Mitchell Gerber, an investigative journalist who has dedicated 22 years to exposing crimes against humanity happening in China. With a resilient character and a determined mind, he has been working hard on the frontline of a significant cause, which has been coined a “New form of evil.” Mitchell has been traveling the world in a crucial attempt to raise awareness about the crimes currently occurring against certain religious groups resulting in horrific acts of violence by the country's own government.  Resources:   https://faluninfo.net/     http://faluninfo.net/why-persecution/      http://www.stoporganharvesting.org/     https://endtransplantabuse.org/     https://chinatribunal.com/   Subscribe and leave a 5-star review! ----more---- Our website https://redpillrevolution.co/    Protect your family and support the Red Pill Revolution Podcast with Affordable Life Insurance. This is attached to my license and not a third-party ad!   Go to https://agents.ethoslife.com/invite/3504a now!   Currently available in AZ, MI, MO, LA, NC, OH, IN, TN, WV Email austin@redpillrevolution.co if you would like to sign up in a different state   Leave a donation, sign up for our weekly podcast companion newsletter, and follow along with all things Red Pill Revolution by going to our website: https://redpillrevolution.co    ----more----   Full Transcription     

The OUS guys are back with their "my guys"... their "ride or dies"... Nah.. their fantasy PEACOCKS! They touch on all of the training camp news and answer some of your questions.

  Theme: NFT NYC 2022 Themes & Highlights Over 15,000 tickets sold, two days of speakers Hundreds of unofficial events Affordable project: Double down fewocious  NFT NewsNFT Headlines: Shopify allows merchants to add utility to NFTs  MoonPay Primes NFT Minting Service HyperMint - Blockworks  Christie's NFT maven joins Yuga Labs to steward CryptoPunks The 2022 NFT Awards - OpenSea Blog     Transcript: [00:00:00] Today on all about affordable NFTs. We are talking with Andrew about how NFT NYC went. I've been seeing it all over my feeds and in the news, I'm excited to hear how it went, but you're back. Am back I'm back home was, uh, are a lot of events going on and yeah, it was, uh, it was exciting to be there and, uh, you know, happy to, uh, get to talk about some of the events that were, were happening in the last few days in New York. [00:00:30] Yeah. I feel like this is a blend between, we're about to jump into the news, but I feel like the news is NFT NYC, but I, I want to get into the particulars and just how it was to actually be there versus like what I heard some of the FUD and upside was. So let's actually, uh, turn toward things. Uh, we saw on the news this week. [00:00:48] Yeah, we'll get into some, some headlines. Anyway. Uh, so first off we've got here that Shopify has rolled out some new NFT integration features where merchants can add, uh, what they're calling it, add utility to the NFTs, but they're able to, to token gate, uh, certain products on the site so that you'd have to have the NFT to be able to buy it. [00:01:09] Um, so I think that's a real big thing to, for Shopify to. Uh, give two merchants. Um, it makes it super easy for anybody really to be able to use an NFT as a, uh, token to gate specific merchandise, you know, be able to offer certain things to only holders of NFTs. And, uh, that's a big step here. That's massive. [00:01:30] I mean, this is a huge eCommerce platform, web two, adopting web three tech and really driving home the upside of access and utility with a capital U. That is gonna open up a lot of interesting, uh, interesting tie-ins right? Cause you can control certain types of membership. And as, as much as it makes me roll my eyes, when I see merch as like a utility, there is actual actually an ability to say, Hey, here's a physical piece of art that you can get and the NFT and they actually go together and here it is wrapped in a perfect package for you. [00:02:09] I think there's a lot more behind this one. And also Andrew, for those of you keeping score at home, the wild and crazy idea of allowing NFT access to be validated as part of the native technology, uh, Shopify one discord, none. Just if you're keeping track natively, it's a good point. Good point. Yeah. Yeah. [00:02:30] I mean, this is, I've been a big fan of shop buy shop, buy for a long time, because of all the, the way they keep adding more features. And I think this is helping them not just stay relevant, but really give their merchants. Tools that many others are not yet able to, to do, to offer. And I think it's gonna be some time till you see a lot of big companies start offering these, uh, token gated types of products, but you know, small, small merchants can start getting into it right away. [00:02:57] Now you, I mean, you ran a whole eCommerce store, you know, the game, maybe it's time for some, uh, some three, a merch start getting that's right, man. Roll it in. All right. So next headline here. We've got moon pay. They have, uh, they're starting an minting service. So at the, uh, founder of moon pay Ivan Soto, Wright was actually on stage at, uh, NFT, N Y C and demonstrated some of those technology. [00:03:19] But, uh, they're rolling out with partners, some big partners here. So they've got, uh, Fox, um, creative artist. The universal pictures, um, some other, uh, music, uh, partners as well. So they're rolling out with some pretty big names. Um, moon pay has been, um, pretty big in getting people, onboarding, uh, people from Fiat to crypto, um, and interesting that they are getting more and more into the NFT space here. [00:03:46] I'm not quite sure what this means. Other than I know moon pay has traditionally been like one of those leaders in saying, Hey, here's an on. I'll be honest. I've never gotten moon pay to work for me. It is always bugged out and I have tried it on seven non-con consecutive occasions. Well, maybe this will work better. [00:04:08] This will work better. I, Hey, I'm gonna try again at some point. All right. So this next headline, we've seen some big movement in the crypto punks market. Recently, the, uh, the floor had gotten to under 50 E and then they started getting snatched up and then word came out that, uh, they have. Uh, hug labs has appointed, uh, Noah Davis, formerly of Christie's as, uh, the head of the crypto punks project. [00:04:34] So he helped bring crypto punks to, uh, Christie's as part of an auction there, um, and has been part of that community by punk holder for some time. And, uh, you know, I think this is a good move from somebody in charge of that crypto punks project, because it did seem like they, after they acquired that. P it got somewhat lost among all of their other projects that certainly are taking much more of their focus. [00:04:56] So good to see that they are putting someone in charge that understands the history of crypto punks and what they do mean to the, uh, NFT movement. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that that goes away ebbs and flows, but I think, you know, the, the window where you could have grabbed a punk for a mere $50,000, if you figure the sort of like where the prices intersected, uh, maybe, maybe something we note is like, oh man, that would've been the best investment ever or we'll see. [00:05:26] Yeah. We'll see. We'll see. . And then, uh, so last one here is the 2022 NFT awards. So this was part of NFT, N YC, um, open sea helps put this on. And so I attended some of this and I. I mean, you can check that the link here for some of the winners. I think a lot of the categories seem sort of, um, like, they were just made specific to give to specific projects in many cases. [00:05:54] Um, and it seems sort of, um, I'm not sure that this is something that the industry is, is looking for at this point, because it wasn't very well attended. And, um, you, like I said, they. They seem to come up with with awards that would fit or fit, uh, certain winners, most of the winners, weren't there to accept the awards anyway. [00:06:14] So, um, a little disappointing overall to that, but, um, maybe not necessary. Well, wait a minute. Top gaming collection by transactions Z run. I'll tell you what highest volume collection on the polygon blockchain Z run. Best NFT artist was X copy. Oh, best emerging NFT R uh, artist. Uh, FIUs that's one. That's been on our list. [00:06:40] I'm there's we have best NFT artists, best emerging N NFT artists and best established NFT artists, and then best digital NFT artists, best non, I mean, these are, you know, I get some of these, you know, there, but hold on. There's one at the bottom here with the best NFT podcast, using three A's in it launched in 2021 run by. [00:07:01] Two crypto dads. We won it three a oh man. We got it. We got it. we got it. I love it. I had you for a second for yeah. Yeah, no, no, I'm sure. Um, you know, people are checking now though. They're checking that link. See if we got anything and um, no, but best NFT media rug, radio. I mean, we've mentioned, uh, the rug radio folks before. [00:07:28] Very interesting platform and recommend that membership one. Yeah, it's definitely worth browsing through. Um, you know, I think maybe, maybe this will start to develop a little further if they do continue with this, but, um, definitely needs a little bit more, a little more marketing around it to get people more excited about it, to, uh, for it to, to expand and, and grow. [00:07:49] Yeah. All right. So the NFT NYC, I, I saw there were over 15,000 tickets sold, but some news showed, like there were like 50,000 people. I'm kind of confused as to the attendance numbers of like, were there larger events that. I don't know, you know, I, I think there are a lot of, I mean, there were hundreds of unofficial NFT NYC events, so just events going on around the city, um, that were going on during the same time, but weren't part of NFT, N YC. [00:08:21] So I think in many cases there were probably people there that weren't, that didn't get a ticket to the event itself. Um, I did have a ticket and went to some of the events. Even that I was really only able to get to, to a handful of those just because there were so many other things going on that I was also trying to get to. [00:08:38] And, you know, there were a lot of these, uh, I mentioned this before, um, in our preview episode, but there were a lot of, uh, physical galleries that were showing pieces. And that was something that I was trying to prioritize, getting around to, and, and seeing these pieces. Being displayed on some pretty impressive, uh, impressive setups. [00:08:56] Um, but I think that's probably why the numbers, uh, vary a bit. And, you know, we also don't really know how many people ended up attending. I'm sure there were, there were people that did not attend, uh, after getting a ticket, you know, maybe based on some of how the market has moved. over the last few weeks here. [00:09:13] So, what was the sentiment? Was it a depressed Fest degens drinking? I heard some jokes about how this was like basically college, where people went to learn nothing and drink their sorrows away and stuff. what, what was, what was the vibe? You know, I was worried about the vibe, you know, definitely in part because of the market and wasn't sure what it would be like. [00:09:31] And, you know, for the most part, it felt like people were still pretty, uh, pretty optimistic, you know, maybe not about the price in short, in the short term. I think people are pretty optimistic about all of the things that are being built. You know, you still see that it's bringing thousands of people, you know, whatever number that is, but it's bringing thousands of people together, um, in ways that really weren't happening before this. [00:09:53] So I think there, you know, the people that do show up, they're pretty committed to, to the space. And I, I think they're, they're seeing that. There's still all these events going on. There's still companies here. There's still building, you know, there's, there's, there's a lot going on. You can see how this event, I mean, I see how the event has changed just in what is it? [00:10:11] Six or seven months from the, uh, the last one that I was at and how much more, uh, how much more knowledge there is about NFTs from the outside. We're still, you know, as we know, we're still a long ways from, from where most people understand them and it's, it was encouraging to me to see that so that people were weren't thinking, uh, you know, thinking like this all might really go away. [00:10:35] You know, I think we've, we've talked about how it feels like there's people just continuing to, to, to build things so that when. When something does turn around, like all, everything works. It's all people are here. There's collectors that understand this there's new platforms all the time. And, you know, I think we're seeing that there's just more and more, uh, more and more infrastructure being, being built right now. [00:10:56] And, and that was definitely, uh, being talked about a lot at different events that I was at, you know, I wasn't, well, I, I didn't get to any of the, a Fest events or anything like that. I'm sure that had a, uh, had its own culture. Um, You know, I can't comment on. So they took over the south street Seaport, they had a giant ape down there. [00:11:14] They, it was like inflatable and they'd like took over a ship or something. Oh, okay. I knew that there was a, uh, NFT, there was a big outdoor event, uh, music event down in the Seaport area. So I, maybe they were, uh, you know, trying to make sure it was seen by many others that maybe did not have tickets, you know, did see some, some, uh, signs for ape Fest around some, some apes spray painted around on. [00:11:41] Sidewalks, um, promoting the event, I guess, or, you know, trying to, I don't know if it's as much promoting it or trying to make people feel like they're, you know, trying to induce. So some FOMO it's all FOMO. So FOMO based economy. Yeah, we, yeah. Right. We do know that FOMO is a big part of NFTs and oh yeah. [00:11:57] That's part of the utility. Um, the ability to spread to spread FOMO, um, like agen, I'm curious too, because you went to the last NFT NYC six months ago was. Or it was, it was let's see, like early November. It was. Yeah. Um, so yeah, this was, this did come pretty quickly after that. well, what I mean then, and now how would you compare? [00:12:19] Are they stepping up their game? Are they just playing the hits? Is this, is this, uh, increasing in momentum despite the market overall? Yes. I mean, the event itself was, you know, there are there's over a thousand speakers. I think they said over 1500 speakers. And the idea is to try to get as many, to give as many people, a voice as possible that does become, becomes a lot as an attendee to try to find the events that you AC or the, the talks that you actually want to go to. [00:12:49] And I hope that they would, that they will start. Being a little, they, that they do a little bit more curation with their speakers. I mean, I understand that they want everybody to have a voice, but I think we need to help the people that are attending by giving them some, by narrowing it down a bit. Um, but outside of the official event, I think it's, it's really growing. [00:13:11] Um, there's more and more, there's more and more interest in. Companies, and you're seeing these other galleries pop up. You're seeing, I mean, there's, there are these parties. I mean, for pretty much every collection it's, every big collection seemed to have some event somewhere. Um, and that's that wasn't necessarily, there were a lot of parties at the last where a lot of events, a lot of projects had a presence, but it felt much more substantial this time in that. [00:13:35] Anybody, any of any project that really wants to be serious, I think has, you know, almost you have to kinda, you have to pay to play and then you have to have a party and it has to be admittance, you know, with your Ft. It's, uh, I mean it's showing value of membership and that's kind of where they have to, to, to flex a little bit in our discord. [00:13:56] You posted what? Just looked like an epic picture of the fallacious. Party. Oh man. Yes, I should talk about that ferocious party. That was cool. So that was over in Brooklyn. The only time I only time I had to get outta Manhattan but I I'm sure there are some other Brooklyn events going on. Uh, but it was, it was a really cool event, big warehouse space. [00:14:17] It felt so well done. Like, I mean that you can see that they have done this before, but a. Very just professional check in it's it almost felt like a theme park as you're going through the line and it's got a road on the, um, on the little, you pretend road on the, um, that you're walking in as you get in line and you can go get your, your hazmat style suit to cover up and go, go to the paint store and get some different paint. [00:14:42] And there's all. Did you get a different amount of paint or anything different because of the NFT you held? Or was it just like knit one? All, no it, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, you get two spray cans or one spray can, yeah, that would've been interesting. 15 spray can that, you know, in the space, it was just these giant CA canvases, um, that anybody could paint on and you could see the ones that were there from the morning session, uh, that those were all drying there. [00:15:06] So it was, that was a really cool event. I think that's such a. Uh, I know such a, such a great way to get people into the space and a very different style party than than all the, than most of the others that we're just about, you know, being at a bar. I hear you. I hear you, uh, a little bit more though, cause I'm always curious about what types of collections bring, what types of collectors and is it basically the same crew? [00:15:32] That's. taping into absolutely everything. So you see the same faces or were there really, like, if I were to put, you know, those people in one room and be like, oh, those were probably fallacious people or those were probably degens people or whatever it is. Hmm. That's a good question. You know, I did run into, you know, I ran into some people at many events, many different events. [00:15:53] Oh, you're gonna name drop so hard. I'll I'll allow. Cause I'm excited to hear what they said. No, but could you, could you pick a collection by the collectors if I just put 'em in a room without any other info on you? Um Hmm. You know, it, it was, yeah. I mean, furocious, I thought was a, a, a more diverse crowd than, than I, than I say in the, and I, then I seen a lot, then I saw a lot of the other parties, I guess. [00:16:19] Um, and I mean that in like, I mean, also, I guess I was at a lot. Events that were somewhat similar. Some art blocks events at, at Samsung. And they'd had a lot at the Samsung building and they had a lot of similar people going to, to these events. Um, you know, and I think there, but there is kind of a, I mean, I've. [00:16:38] Seen in the past that there's definitely, um, the generative art collector seems to be a little bit older than, um, some of the, the PFP than most of the PFP projects I've found, um, for was, has had a big range of the big age range. Just big range of. Backgrounds of people like had, that had gotten into crypto in different ways I felt than, than some of the other places. [00:17:02] And I mean, I, I like being able to, you know, in a lot of these events, you're, you're waiting around for a while to get in. So a lot of talking with, yeah. Was there a lot of, a lot of waiting in lines? I heard some flood being thrown around being like, oh, they weren't ready to like process people and was like, More of a headache getting in around it should have been, you know, when I, when I had to check into NFT N YC, it was a, I went to the hotel and then at the Marriot marque, uh, outside times square, right by times square. [00:17:27] And, uh, what made the mistake of going to the hotel and then realizing that the end of the line was a good block and a half away. Um, so that was, but it, it did actually move pretty quickly. Um, so I was, I was impressed about how, by how quickly they were getting people through. I also feel like maybe we could move away from. [00:17:49] Having to pick up a badge and maybe use some other system for ticket technology device, but how would you prove that somebody owned the ticket that they had? I can't think of any way possible, only, and well, like what if somebody co duplicated it? Uh, how would you, yeah, we just need to prove digital ownership of this somehow. [00:18:11] Huh? yeah. I don't see a way to do this. Um, yeah, so it would be really, that's another thing that it would be nice, you know, in other places have definitely had had some lines, you know, there's some of that, but you know, it was, uh, Um, couple of the, the physical gallery places that I got to included a gallery, uh, that's owned by, uh, Adam Lindeman, a big art collector in the traditional world. [00:18:32] And then he's been getting into squiggles and they had about 300. Oh my gosh. On display there. I sell you on a squiggle so hard. And by the way, you dropped that tiny thing about, so CREs on, cause I've been trying to save up for my squiggle and oh, I know those really. So Florida have run. Yeah. Those, those well went from five E to 10, eighth, and now we're officially. [00:18:50] We're we're out there. Yep. It's it has run up. Um, let's see if the other, I was super rare. I didn't have the guts. I didn't have the guts to pull the trigger. If I was my, my reserve price was under five and it was like five and a half. And I'm like, I'm not doing it. Yeah. They, they, it was one of those ones that I guess people were waiting on for the once the E price dropped. [00:19:13] I think, I think it's all those people listening to three a, they know they're I should stop broadcasting my. That's probably it they're front running. Yeah. It's definitely what it, what it is. So you talked to some, go ahead. You talked to some awesome folks. I saw, you said you actually, uh, talked to snow and coldy yes. [00:19:33] Yeah. You had to talk to, to snow, Eric, uh, Eric. Snow pro he's the, the head of art blocks, the founder he's the, the, the artist behind the squiggles. Um, yeah, it was really good. Great to talk to him. I had never actually gotten to, to talk to him, uh, face to face before. Um, that was cool. He's really, I don't know, just, he's a great understanding of the, the space and he's just so excited about all these people that are showing up because of the project that, that he started, you know, last November or November, uh, 20 2020. [00:20:07] Getting that right. In 2020. Um, and you know, now he's looking at this giant 30 foot screen and showing off all these generative art pieces, and he's got all these great artists there and all these collectors there and, you know, it was pretty, um, it was a cool, cool event to, to see. And, you know, he was obviously pretty proud of, of what that, uh, platform has grown to, to be. [00:20:27] And, um, yeah, coldy was another one I've I've I've mentioned him in the past. I'm big fan of coldy. Um, so I. Got to meet him at the, uh, last FTA NYC event. Um, it's good to see him again there. I think I actually ran into him at an X copy collector meetup. Of course X copy was not there as he is a anonymous artist. [00:20:47] A non yeah. Yeah. And we're still working there, but you know, we've, I think, uh, artists, it can, it can probably work better than, uh, teams behind a project anyway, but, um, That was, yeah, that was cool. Getting to talk to, to people. What was on their minds? Like where, where do they see and how do you think they're spending their next, you know, 100 to 200. [00:21:09] I, I mean, they're, they've been through, they've been, they've been in the space for so long that, you know, I think they've, they've gotten, they've been on around they've, you know, they were doing this when nobody was paying. I mean, coldy especially was doing, it was when nobody was paying attention at all. [00:21:23] Nobody really knew what NFTs were and certainly not, you know, for. For art, like the key produces, um, you know, is, you know, people were, were aware of crypto punks and, and that PFP kind of thing. But I think he's been a lot, been a big, um, just big artist in, in, in being able to, or he's wait, sorry. What he impresses me is that he could. [00:21:44] Continues to create when nobody's paying attention, but he also understands the history of the crypto culture and he, he gets this side of it and, you know, he's excited to just keep creating more art and says, he's collecting a lot of stuff right now too. He said he just picked up, uh, a couple OUS pieces and he says, you know, he's a big collect and, um, So I think that's, you know, that's also encouraging to hear, you know, he's, he, he's looking at this as a buying opportunity right now. [00:22:10] And so for RO well, just the paint, right? His paint is his main thing, but does he have actual other projects floating around on like other, like. Yeah. So he's done a couple other drops on, um, on nifty before that paint drop and then has some, I know it has some super air pieces as well. Um, mm-hmm or one of ones, and it's a lot of this style. [00:22:32] Um, he actually did a shoe with artifact before they were acquired by Nike as well. Um, so it's got his say white shoe that has the, you know, paint. Painted his style, but you know, it's a, it was a you that, I mean, I think that's going to be a, a good collector piece over time, you know, as it is that artifact before it was Nike, you know, one of the early projects there and, and one of FIA's first, uh, projects too. [00:22:56] So yeah. Um, he has a few pieces like that, uh, that are, but we don't have an affordable project for you, but you know, that's great. We got, we got a little double downs in here. We're, we're dropping a lot of. I think enough alpha in these conversations. So we'll, we'll leave it in that actually. Um, but like maybe hunt down some of those pieces and take a look at it. [00:23:14] Um, and then for snowflake, like any idea, like the vision for, for art box, I feel like it's hard to maintain momentum, honestly, when you burn that hot data early, um, you know, how is how's he feeling about they? I think, you know, it's been a lot of learning, um, for them. Last summer, everything, every project that was put out would mint out immediately and the floor would run. [00:23:40] I mean, and it was for every project, even the, the RPL factory projects, which are generally not, not quite as highly desired as the, the period projects I would say in general. Um, but it was, you know, and then after that, I think they maybe. Were the projects, they were minting, maybe too many projects. And the sizes got a little too big because they had gotten used to everything minting out so quickly. [00:24:05] Um, so when, when things did change, there were more projects sitting around with. Incomplete. They still had a lot like hundreds of pieces to mint and, you know, it's hard to, hard to build momentum when you're doing it that way. So they have really tried to pair down the number of collections they're doing and how many pieces are in the collection. [00:24:23] Um, they did one just the other day as part of, uh, opening their art blocks gallery at pace or sorry, pace gallery at art blocks. Um, that was 196 pieces. And I think. That like 1.5. And it seems like they're doing this much more often now and going, yeah, they're reducing the quantity, tightening the quality and really it's about the curated, just to, to note in the art box line, you have the, the curated game, which is like much higher tier from the selection and availability versus the projects, which is just much more open and easier to, to apply and then through. [00:25:00] Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they, I think they've, you know, He's recognizing, you know, that they're learning from all this, but, um, you know, it was also, I mean, part of what was really cool about being in that Samsung building was Samsung is showing off their tech. Um, so they've got their 30 foot screen showing these, these art blocks Mo you know, moving pieces and, you know, standing right next to it. [00:25:21] You really couldn't see any of the pixels. And, you know, he was excited about that aspect too, of just, you know, where we're going with being able to display, display these pieces. Not just on our, on our phones or our computers, you know? Yeah. Any other cool tech that you saw there or any, um, any, any fo I just imagine a lot of shilling, uh there's there is a lot of shilling and you know, all the way all the time. [00:25:44] Yeah. And you know, there's even a lot of that on, I don't know, on. In places where it didn't necess surprise me at times, I guess. Um, during some of the, uh, the talks, how much there was just people trying to show projects or show new new tech. But, um, maybe I shouldn't be surprised by that. That's all. Did you, did you buy anything? [00:26:02] I didn't see any action on your, on your wallet, you up to anything? No, I feel like this is, this is probably, uh, slowed. Slowed the pace of NFT sales a bit with bringing all the, all the collectors to a place in real life, you know, and we're supposed to put that back into our, our separate corners and get in our computers guys. [00:26:22] The market's dropping. You gotta go home. You can't stay here. You don't have to go home. We can't, we gotta keep buying. Cuz the market' yeah. Stalled from one conference. [00:26:30] All right. Would you go again? Yeah, I think I, I would, and you know, I was, I was wondering, um, I was thinking about that recently. I was kind of wondering if they'll start expanding this into more days just because it is, there's so many events right now, and there's so much overlap, um, that it feels like it's going to, to grow in some way. [00:26:50] Not that I want to go for longer, but it's you, you see how it's just, it's, uh, it's really growing the number of events and, and the number of people that are, that're interested in this. So I, I would definitely go. Yeah, well, something tells me they're gonna have another one in six months. So yeah, it's a crypto year, right? [00:27:09] just keep, keep, keep going. Um, all right. Anything, uh, takeaways that you had from the, the conference? Any, any other moments of alpha. Or beta? No, unfortunately, you know, I wish I had more alpha to share, but, uh, you know, it's, you gotta be careful what , what you take away from, from everybody's shilling, right? [00:27:30] yeah. Let's just see how the, let's see how the, the market plays out first. All right. Well, very cool. Thank you for sharing all that. I feel like I got a little idea of, of how it went. I'm gonna go to one of these eventually. I'm gonna. Gonna wait till they figure out ticketing though, when they have the technology, right. [00:27:51] someone can come up with it, right.

INTRODUCTION: Dr. Vernon T. Scott is from the state of Georgia. He is currently pursuing a Sex Coaching certification from Sex Coaching University and earning a second masters in Marriage and Family Therapy with a Systemic Sex Therapy specialization.Vernon has years of experience in life coaching and sexual health research and education. He is also an advocate for trans rights and fighting against rape culture and its systemic impact within society. Vernon plans to use his platform to provide healthy conversations related to the nuances of sexual expression and amplify the voices of those often forgotten by society.He is the host of the Heauxliloquy Podcast and the owner of Slaytor's Playhouse, LLC. The podcast focuses on bringing people outside the compressed box of sexual expression. Vernon and his guests have conversations that range from kinks to personal sexual experiences to mental health. As for Slaytor's Playhouse, it is a publishing company that currently provides journals, artwork, and books.Social Media, Website, and MerchVernon's IG and Twitter: @UrFavHeauxstPodcast Twitter: @HeauxliloquyBook link: https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Guide-How-Hoe/dp/173663190Xhttps://www.heauxliloquy.comhttps://slaytorsplayhouse.com  INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): ·      Sex Positive Conversation·      STD/STI Talk·      How Do Bottom's Prep For Sex?·      Bottom Shaming – No Ma'am!  ·      Anal Pap Smears/Cancer·      Surviving Child Molestation·      Surviving The Death Of A Mother·      Sex Offenders Are Women Too!·      Connecting With Our Loved Ones After The Die·      How Grandparents Are Cooler Than Our Parents·      YAY! MASTURBATION!!!  CONNECT WITH VERNON: Website 1: https://www.heauxliloquy.comWebsite 2: https://slaytorsplayhouse.comBook: https://amzn.to/3n86RIRYouTube: https://bit.ly/3nicLXDInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/urfavheauxst/Twitter (Vernon): https://twitter.com/UrFavHeauxstTwitter (Podcast): https://twitter.com/HeauxliloquyTikTok: https://bit.ly/3xOIjcPLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vernontscott/  CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixPinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonEmail: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com  DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: ·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o  https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o  TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs ·      Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o  https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ ·      Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino  https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com ·      Upwork: https://www.upwork.com·      FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS ·      Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org·      American Legion: https://www.legion.org  INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: ·      PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon  TRANSCRIPT:[00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: Hello, y'all and welcome to the sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Again, I speak positivity and new life over each and every last one of you today, I'm speaking with Dr. Vernon T Scott, he is the host of the ho liqui podcast he wrote this kick ass book called the essential guide on how to be a ho So in today's show there's gonna be a lot of sex, positive conversation. I'm gonna tell you all the STDs [00:01:00] I've ever had. I'm gonna tell you about my yearly anal rejuvenation retreat that I go on. And, we were rebuke bottom shaming and we help bottoms understand how to prepare for sex. We talk about the need for Anno pap smears, surviving, child molestation, and the death of a mother. I want you to put your ear real close to the speaker on this one. Hello, are you beautiful bitches out there and welcome to the fucking sex drugs in Jesus podcast. Hallelujah, tabernacle and motherfucking praise today. Happy pride month, you know, I'll go ahead and say it, but I feel like it's pride all year long. You know? So today I got with me y'all his real name is Dr.Vernon Scott. He don't like to go around talking about the doctor. He doesn't wanna be called burning, but I gotta give him his flowers. Y'all he went to school [00:02:00] for that shit. He has his doctorates and Hey, you bubbly bitch. How you doing today? Vernon: I am fabulous. Look, my, my thing is you can call me, just know that the doctor is there.That's all it's implied. just knows.De'Vannon: Well, let me see, how does these look?I got all this going on and so,oh God, nothing like a good tit flash on a, on a Friday morning baby. And so Vernon: it's a beautiful day. Mm-hmm De'Vannon: it's a beautiful morning. So y'all Vernon. He hosts a podcast called the ho [00:03:00] liqui podcast. That's spelled H E a U X, L I L O Q U Y. So he's spelled it like we do down here. In the south bay, he threw a little occasion on there.So he , that's how they do the Hoye podcast. So right off the bat, let me tell you, his website is hoy.com. He also has a website called Slaters playhouse.com and I'm gonna let him tell y'all what the difference is in just a minute. So Vernon is super sex positive. So when you talk about a whole lot of sexual education, maybe it's a little bit of mental health and some other things today.He also wrote a book it's called the essential God on how to be a ho, not once upon a time, not long ago, but right now, bitch, how to be a ho today. And so tell us about your podcast and the difference in between the two website. Vernon: All right. So the Hilo podcast is all [00:04:00] about bringing people outside of their compressed box of what they know about sexuality.It's about the kinky stuff. It's about the fetishes. It's about even addressing those tough topics like rape culture. It's all about learning more about yourself learning who you are, identifying your wants needs even how to navigate online dating versus traditional dating and just shining a light that we all have different perspectives that we all have different things that we like in our lives.Some other things that we even talk about because we, we gotta talk about sex. We have to talk about our sexual experiences. We have to talk about consent. We have to talk about our HIV statuses, if that's something that is coming up or something of concern, our just sexual health in general.Myself and another guess we were talking about our status of having HSV one, which is the Herper [00:05:00] herpes SIMPL fires, and just how to maneuver those conversations with people in terms of like the Ledger's Playhouse website that is, I would say my little growing business it is for publishing journals as well as books.But there's also other things in in terms of publishing on there, like there's artwork that people can purchase off of. There there's even in a vice column that we have on that website too. So it's still growing, it's still in development. It's also a avenue for people who may need life coaching.The goals with that is to, you know, expand the business a lot more, but I'm not trying to rush it. I'm just letting that develop the way it needs to develop. De'Vannon: Okay. You know, what Rome was it built in the day? And the Lord said that this spa is not the day of small beginnings, honey. Cause everything will, is time.Vernon: [00:06:00] You better say that word.De'Vannon: I don't mind preaching. Hallelujah. I'm gonna use this mouth something more than sucking Dick.Vernon: Oh, that needs to be a Bible verse. ThatDe'Vannon: secondSo in of all the things that you could have started a podcast about. And I, and I, and I hear the necessity in your voice. Why, why focus so much on sexual relations? Why, why do you feel like there's a need to talk about these things and then what qualifies you to be the one to tell us about it? Vernon: Hmm. So I, I think I'll start with the qualifications things, cuz that also goes into the need.So [00:07:00] I was sexually assaulted as a child and over the years I've been trying to wrap my head around. Okay. What actually happened there? What is this thing? And then being exposed sex at a young age, through like porn I didn't understand what was going on. Like what are these two people doing?So I always had that fixation on learning more about sex. So from the age of, let's say when the internet started, you know, dial up times looking into this thing when I had my first sex ed class learning more about sexuality these diseases and stuff like that, I still had. Unanswered questions.So I started to dive deeper into that figure out, okay. How does this STI impact your life? Along. You know your lifetime. How is a person who is a [00:08:00] bottom? How are they supposed to get themselves ready for sex? I, I, that's not something that's communicated. What about the person that's topping?What is the difference between the bottom and the top? I had to watch multiple porns to understand that difference, too. And then when it came to like lesbian relationships. Okay. Is this supposed to be something that there's a top bottom situation? How's that going? When it comes to heterosexual relationships, all right.We have all these people at my high school who are pregnant, so that that's a clue that they're having sex, but are they what's? Is this something with condom usage? Are they, do they know about condoms? What is going on? So over the years I just started to focus more on, more on researching sexuality and.To the point that I decided to focus on like things that like sex [00:09:00] education, how that's not provided in an equitable way, or we don't have too many comprehensive sex ed programs throughout the country. I even started to look more into rape culture too, which is what I got wrote about for my dissertation.Let's call it systemic rape culture, put it that way. And. I got to a point where I really wanted to start to develop like a course to start teaching people more about sexuality, more about learning, how to get that comprehensive education or design that myself. And I thought that the easiest way to do that, to provide the information to people is to.Pro give it to them in a platform or in a space that's easier for them to to digest it because there's not a lot of people who like to read. There's not a lot of people who even want to watch videos. And I thought, well, why not have a podcast that just talks [00:10:00] about sex in a healthy way that allows different perspectives, differences in opinions.That's not just telling people that, oh, a man has to do this. A woman has to do this. All gay people have to do this. All bottoms have to do this. All tops have to do this all lesbians, perform their sexual acts this way. So to break down the, the labels in a way to expand our horizon, because one of the things that I call myself is a sexual experience coach, as well as a, a sexual expression coach, which is.Helping people understand how they express their own sexuality. And that can be through Kings that can just be through vanilla sexual acts. But just sitting with them to help them figure out, okay, how can I enhance my sexual experience with myself as well as with others? So I, I say that's the thing that both inspired me to go into podcasting [00:11:00] as well as speak of my qualifications to talk about sexuality too.And not to mention, I I've been doing stuff in relationships since like 2011, like interpersonal relationships since 2011. De'Vannon: Okay. Okay. So I, I took several questions out of what you were saying and what you're now you're saying you started what exactly in 2011. Vernon: Oh learning more about interpersonal relationships.Oh, that's when, De'Vannon: okay. That's when.And thank you for such a beautiful breakdown. So I'm about to break down your breakdown. so, yeah. So you, so I heard you say that you were sexually harassed as a child sexually molested. And that's something that I read, you know, right at the beginning of your book, when I was reading through it to, and in the book you specified that it was some cousins who did this.So how old were you? How many cousins was [00:12:00] it? Were they male? Were they female? Vernon: So my first sexual experience, I was around two years old and that was an older male cousin. It was more of a oral thing. Not necessarily anything like penetrative in terms of like anal, anything like that. That is, I think, I don't know exactly which cousin it was.But I do know that it was a cousin and then later on there was another cousin who assaulted molested me for some time around three years or so. And that was from like age eight ish to like 11. I know it was up until around the time my mother passed. But it, it [00:13:00] was. Ongoing thing.But I will say I did not experience any sexual assaults from family after my mother passed. So after that essentially those things ended too, which I will say was a, a, a good benefit in terms of my personal growth and my healing process, too. De'Vannon: Okay. Thank you for, for sharing that. I'm gonna get more granular with this.Do these males who molested you, did they identify as gay, straight or by Vernon: do you know? Uh, Straight. De'Vannon: So what I remember, I was, when I lived in Houston, I volunteered for the dein children's center. Which is like a, is huge facility that houses children that don't really have anywhere else to go essentially.[00:14:00] And a part of the training was they showed us the registered sex offenders, you know, in the Houston area and the area we would be volunteering in. And, okay, so, so I'm in this training room and there's a projector, you know, with all these faces on the wall, it was almost like being in an FBI briefing or something like that.Okay. So about 50% of them were women and then the other, I still, I still have to hold my heart to this day. I, I never thought that that many women mm-hmm or sex offenders and and then the other half were men who didn't, who identified as straight there weren't in gay people. And so in that instant, I realized just how wrong say, like.Politicians are in the church are by trying to say, oh, the gay people are the pedophiles. And I'm like, not to say that it doesn't happen, but to act like women [00:15:00] don't molest girls and boys is silly. So like in churches, say like in my case, they kicked me outta Lakewood. Cause they didn't want me not being straight being around their children.But my whole point is why do you think you can trust the straight guy, supposedly straight guy and the supposedly straight woman more than the homosexual, the bisexual. I mean, at least we have a positive sexual outlet, you know, if he's straight and closeted, you know, he's more likely to take it out on a vulnerable child than a grown ass man who has a grown ass Dick to deal withSo, and so I just wanted to. To point that out. Cause I had a feeling that they probably were not L G B I a, usually it's the straight uncle, you know, in a lot of families. And I've heard this before. It's the straight uncle that gets ahold of the little boy when no one's around because no one suspects, the straight uncle they're too busy worrying about the gay uncle.Well, the gay uncle has [00:16:00] dinners to get to, he got shopping. The dude, like I said, he has a grown ass Dick to tend to, he's got to take several trips each month and he's got all this shit to do, honey, not to mention keeping his nails. No, no, we don't have time to be molest children. This does not interest us.Not at all. Vernon: so not at De'Vannon: all. So you need to stop worrying, not at all what the gays are doing and be watching the, watching the straight people in your family.Vernon: I agree, 100%. And that's the, the and I think one of the things that I learned within my healing process, because like the two year old thing, I, I really don't know who that was. So I don't know exactly how old that person was. But at least with the other cousins, we were all still children. So it was children molesting children.And in my education and me unpacking my [00:17:00] traumas and healing and whatnot, I came to the understanding that a lot of children who do molest other children were molested themselves. Yeah. So it's not necessary. And that, that realization was something that helped me release that pint up trauma or that pined up those pint up feelings that I had about that experience to know that, okay, they acted out of their own trauma that.They themselves have to deal with even to this day, cuz even when I think about the the, the main cousin who was who molested me, how he still doesn't have his mind together, he is still angry. He's still fighting in just so much rages within him. And I'm just like, I, I, all I can do is fill for you and pray that you do get the help that you you need.Do I feel safe around him? Not necessarily, but I also recognize that he has grown [00:18:00] over the years too. But it's, it's still a battle that some of those cousins are still having to deal with because someone else brought them out of their own innocence. De'Vannon: How big of you look at how mature you sound?I love thatcause it doesn't do you any good to hold onto the anger? You know, you know, molestation happens to a lot of people and you know, but I'm happy to hear that somebody can have that happen and then they can heal and move on from it. And so, and so, so your mom died and I'm sorry to hear about that. When you were around 10 ish.Vernon: I was, I always, it was 2007. I, I know the year, the age always for leaves me. I was either 13 or 14 somewhere within that range before high school. That's that's all I know it was before high school. [00:19:00]De'Vannon: What was it like being, you know, in your teen years without a mother. Vernon: It was, it was hard. It was having that realization that even if I do go off to college, she's not gonna be here.That was one of the goals that she wanted to see for myself. And my brother is that would go off to college. It was also realizing that I have to be responsible cuz she was the only one that I really felt safe around and the only person that actually showed that they cared for me and loved me within my household.So it was like, I was, I was losing a backbone in this moment. And I would say this is something that I even learned from therapy is that my coping mechanism, my trauma response and my what is it? Trigger are all the same thing and is rooted from her death. [00:20:00] And that is my need of being responsible.Because when she passed, I had to be responsible for myself. I had to learn how to cook. I had to take care of myself because no one else in that household was really taken care of me. And that's just the facts of it. De'Vannon: Did you still have a dad or what? Vernon: Yeah, my stepdad, he lived there. De'Vannon: So you think it's like, say he was there?That was it. He wasn't doing shit. Vernon: It's essentially not, not for me. At least love him down. And I like still love the man, but it in, in where, when I needed him, he wasn't there. De'Vannon: Did you have older brothers, younger brothers, sisters, siblings. Vernon: I have an older brother who lived with us and my stepdad.He also had daughters not with my mother, but he had his daughters, but they didn't, they lived with their mothers. So, De'Vannon: Ooh. Y'all had a situation. Vernon: Yeah. Look, that's only one side of the family. Let me [00:21:00] not go into my father's side. but what advice? I love each other. De'Vannon: I, I, I appreciate the love y'all have for each other.You got all I feel is love reverberating outta you. And so many people go through similar things and they become so bitter, but you've turned that, that like an Alchemist, you know, you turn that negativity into a new material, into something positive, like turning steel into water. So what advice would you give to somebody who has lost their mother and especially somebody who's still in their teens?Vernon: First thing, feel what you need to feel accept that your, your mother's no longer gonna be with you. It's a hard truth, but you do have to accept that at one point. And once you do accept that things do get do get a little bit easier. Sometimes you do have to sit down and write a letter to your mother just to update her on what's going on.Sometimes you, if you are of that faith of [00:22:00] either having a burial ground or even ashes, whatever it is that you have to still have your mother with you, talk to her whenever you can. Just acknowledge the fact that even if you feel as though that you're talking to a, a void that it's going to be received because sometimes just having that feeling of knowing that it's gonna be received is enough to keep you going for another day.De'Vannon: How beautiful mm-hmm . And so I wanna, I wanna, I wanna echo that in my own unique way. I believe that when people die, that they do not cease to exist. Mm-hmm so, as Alana is more said, said in in her song, thank you. How about not equating death with stopping? You know, death is more like of a transition, you know, it's our ultimate [00:23:00] form of freedom once we've, once we come to that point, I'm not saying go out and kill yourself to get free.I'm talking about living your life, and then when you die, you know, you transition and you turn into a spirit. So you, you take on your truest form as, as far as I'm concerned. Many of us have experiences of our dead relatives coming back to speak to us and visions and dreams and stuff like that. Mm-hmm sometimes we might smell that fragrance they used to wear.Maybe we'd smell some of that good old cooking grandma used to do or who or mama used to do in the kitchen. You know, when you're just alone somewhere the way they present it, say in star wars, I love the way that the Lord speaks to us through movies and shows and stuff like that. It's not just creativity.I think it's actually divine messages in a lot of shows and movies that we see. Mm-hmm especially movies like star wars and stuff like that that have strong religious overtones and stuff like that. [00:24:00] But you see when the Jedi died, They come back as those fuzzy little spirits that, that are hanging out in Kiki.So we see , you know, so they're just kind of like floating off to the side and they're very aware of everything that are going that is going on. So I don't, I feel like that when the elders die, when, when someone in the family dies that I have a, my connection with them grows in a way, because now they're everywhere that I go, they have more access to me now in spirit form.So like, so my grandmother's physically dead. My evangelist Nelson, my pastor is physically dead. When I wanna reach them now I'll just close my eyes and I'll focus on their spirit, their presence, their being. And I don't like to bother them too much. They already done they already done, done. They work in this life.So I don't do this a whole lot, but sometimes when I just get overwhelmed, you know, I'll just be like, look, you know, grandma evangelist. I, I don't mean to bother you, [00:25:00] but I need your help right now. Please come see about me. You know, , Vernon: that's, that's how when it comes to my grandmother, cause that, that was my role dog.That was my best friend as a child. SIS had my back. I had her back, like that was my mama. like the everyone knew I was the adopted child of LMA Scott. That was my mama. So I don't know who y'all think y'all are. That's my mama, everybody else. But like sometimes when I know I'm just in a, a negative space, I just think about my time with her, even our last moments together.And it just makes me feel a little bit better. I even my first alcoholic beverage, you know, I had that with my grandma. I was, I was young. I, I took her. I drank some hookup got in trouble, of course. But it was with, it was, it was with my, it was with my role dog. So like, so it was like those things even every now and [00:26:00] again, if I am going to drink something like liquor or wine, it's like shout out to you, grandma, because that is a way to connect with with her.So yeah, I definitely get that. De'Vannon: It's so fucking curious to me how the grandmothers are like, or like Wilder than our parents, either that either that are more willing to be transparent about it. Cause my grandmother. When I was like five, I would put on like an oversized shirt, which all I wore. Anyway, I'd put on one of my, one of my mom's belts to make a dress out of the oversized shirt and put on my mom's pumps, you know, with this much space in between the heel and the back of her shoe and run around the house and put on a show and my grandmother would staying at the door and keep lookout so that when my parents truck come down the street, I can get outta drag.And so , you know, and that was granny. And, you know, and then we'd be drinking the Manish Chevy's wine, the, the Blackberry wine and all of that shit. You know, grandma used to [00:27:00] turn up low pee. and then meanwhile, you know, my mom trying to act like she, you know, cute and got together, I'm all like, how is granny Wilder and more open-minded than my parents.And my grandma was born in like the 1920s and thirties, I guess either you cool or you not fuck. I don't know. Vernon: I'd say it's because our grandparents, they were exposed to the truth of, of life before things became, so identity focused are, so you have to be this, you have to be strict. You have to be this type of professional because back then, most definitely like in the twenties, that's all you saw.You saw people happy to be LGBTQ. You saw people who are out here for the party, drinking, enjoy themselves, going to speak. Easys all these things, enjoying their lives. And then, you know, after a while and you know, wars and shit, everything got a little bit more strict. And then that's where you get to the culture that we see today, where Uhuh, you cannot be gay.You cannot be this. You cannot be that you have to be anything. Other than [00:28:00] you cannot be anything other than what we present as the straight white men in here in the us. So that's what I, I will say that is probably the reason why a lot of grandmothers was just like, it is what it is. Look, I went to drag shows back in the day, myself, what you mean?He can't do this. like,I know I raised you. I know you was a whole, you telling this child not to be wherever they wanna be. Okay. Okay. Okay.De'Vannon: Go off. so granny kept it fucking real. Yes. God bless you, grandmother. Wherever you are at. I heard you say that you consider yourself a sexual experience. Coach. I want you to give me an example of somebody that you've worked with. Before. So tell me what their problem was, [00:29:00]what you did to help them change and then how they are today.Vernon: So let's say if alright, there was this one person who was very uncomfortable with masturbation, right? So just having a conversation of where does that come from? Why, why do you feel very uncomfortable? To masturbate and a lot of that came from their own religious beliefs and one of the things I work with them on is shifting how they view it.Right. And if you feel as though that, you know, masturbating is a sin, where does it say that? And where is that? Who told you that masturbation is a sin and are you not supposed to love yourself? And when I asked them about loving themselves, they were just like I'm I think I'm supposed to love, love myself.Okay. So why not please? Yourself can pleasure not be synonymous to loving [00:30:00] yourself. And that helped them realize, okay, you know what? I might be focusing too heavily. on outside, outside influences rather than what I actually want for myself. So advising them, Hey, okay. When you try this, don't try anything too severe first.Get to know your body. Also think about things that make you feel comfortable is that the music that you're listening to, is that any sense that you're listening to? Anything that kind of turns you on makes you feel happy to be in that moment? You know, a lot of people do love music, right? So build a playlist, figure out what songs bring you to one point and what songs bring you down and see if you can match your pleasure to that music that you're listening to.[00:31:00]So that when you do reach that peak, you have some music that will slowly bring you back down and I will have to say they're masturbating. They're doing good. so it's, it's just having those kind of conversations with people to see what they can do to enhance their experience either with themselves or with their with their partners.De'Vannon: Child masturbation is good for the soul. I a drawer, a drawer full of come rags right by my bed because I, I, I Jack off so damn much. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. And, but it's a great way to keep, to connect with yourself and it can be used spiritually and everything like that too. Mm-hmm I believe his name was David Chambers from.The authentic man podcast talks a lot about masturbation and stuff like that, too. So, [00:32:00] and people have messaged me before with that same shit, like, oh my God, I think watching porn is wrong or, you know, masturbation is wrong. And my question, it was the same thing who fuck told you that, you know, my HYP therapist was telling me the same thing too, in a session we were doing the other night, you know, she just let me know, you know, that every negative thing that I think about myself is something, someone else told me mm-hmm period.You know, we don't come into the world with predispositions that we're too fat. We're too skinny. We're too hairy. We're too black. We're too pasty. We're too white. We're too. We're too. Anything, you know, another motherfucker told you that mm-hmm and in terms of the religious thing about masturbating. The church uses the fact that if you're just jacking off at squirting com everywhere that you're not procreating, you know, they might use that argument.And they'll also use that scripture about when the children of Israel were told to procreate [00:33:00]and the guy didn't wanna have kids with a particular woman, you know, God killed him for it. But the thing is this. If the Lord only wanted show Dick to get hard for the sake of having a child and he would only let it get hard when it came time to have a child, you know, he designed our bodies.I mean, what the fuck do you need morning wood for if there's no one else in the house, if, but not to Jack off. So, so, and then by the appropriation argument is just stupid because by that logic, as soon as a woman gets pregnant, then there's time for them to stop fucking. You know, and I know good and damn well that they still fucking mm-hmm so they don't come out the house and tell everybody else to only have sex for the purposes of procreation.So what, after they have the first five or 10 kids, y'all not going fuck for the next 30, 40 years you together, stop, stop the lies. We know better. Mm-hmm, , it's easy to just be [00:34:00] sexual beings and just do sexual things. See how simple that was. Vernon: right. And it, and it amazes me cause you know, there's those peoples just like, oh, it's unnatural to do this unnatural, to do that when it comes to sex.And then when you bring up like animals and they're just like, we're better than animals. We're not animals. And like we're a part of the animal kingdom. Like it it's, it's this thing called taxonomy that that's we're, we're we're homo sapiens. That means we are a part of the animal kingdom. We, we. Act similar to other animals, other other animals masturbate, other animals have homosexual encounters.Other animals have bisexual encounters, other animals, procreate, like all of these things are all natural. So to say that anything is unnatural when it comes to sexual, expression's just like, you don't know what you're talking about and that's okay. Just recognize that you don't De'Vannon: society failed us. Yes, it is.[00:35:00] Absolutely. Okay. And you and I are gonna keep telling the world that it's okay. And combating that voices in people's heads telling them that it's not okay until they get that. It is okay. And no one can hurt you. If you wanna sit in your house and masturbate, and God is not going to send you the hell for it because.Because because God is open minded and loving and flexible and more loving than people in this, in, in the church are. Mm. But um, but society failed us as a whole, when it comes to sex education. I heard you when you were saying and y'all, these are the sort of topics that Vernon discusses on his podcast.So in this, during this conversation, we're kind of giving you a little appetizer, you know, what you'll find over on his show. And so I heard you saying that society failed us. I mean, shit, you know, in terms of the sex education and stuff like that, and what it made me think of, cuz you were saying like you weren't taught like, you know how to, Hey, you know how a bottom is [00:36:00] supposed to prepare for sex.And so I, and I just extend that to everything. So. Like in the eighth of grade, I think we had like a sex education class, a couple of videos it's insufficient. See sex education is something that you can't just sit down and tell your kids, this is a condom. This is a Dick. This is a pussy, good luck with that.It has to be something that's like ongoing. You know, we are gonna have this initial conversation when you're about five years old about sex, because sex is everywhere. And then you're gonna come back and revisit that in a, in a little matter of time. And you're gonna leave that door open so that that kid can come back to you when the dicks start to get hard and the pussy start bleeding and everything like that.And you so that they can come back and ask more questions and ask more questions, then you're gonna initiate more. All throughout that child's life. And even once they're past 18, if they need to come and ask you something, they, they need to know that that door is [00:37:00] always open because if you don't teach them, then just like you, porn will.Then I learned about sex from porn, real sex, red shoe diaries, Showtime Skinemax then gay.com, then grinder, then Scruff, you know, and then, you know, or as Madonna said, you know, you get your education from your lovers and so, and they had, they got their own agenda, you know, when they're hanging out with us and stuff like that.And it's not really to make us smarter. It's the bust of fucking nut mm-hmm . And so and so, no, I didn't know about sexual health. I bought him a lot, so I didn't know how to clean my asshole out. You know, I didn't know what an animal was or anything like that. And so, so all, so I don't know. What do you have to say about douching?Let's talk about, let's talk about cleaning out assholes and bottoms, preparing for sex tops. You know, you, all you need is [00:38:00] spit in your hard Dick and you good to go. So Vernon: don't spit loop. Okay.First lubrication always use Lu, always use Lu. Oh my God. You use Lu. I almost like De'Vannon: it. RoughVernon: but I, I, I will say in terms, cause you know, ive, I've seen the videos about you know, if you get the douche and you put your own waters and stuff like that, it can, you know, add fragrance and whatnot to your to your asshole and whatnot. I'm just of the mindset. Just get a fucking, ENMA put that shit up there.Do what you need to do quick flush and it's all good. Make sure you bathe and whatnot. Oh, this is another tip. Like in terms of sexual experience, if you have a partner who likes fragrances and whatnot is utilizing those fragrances on your body, as well as any kind of flavored [00:39:00] lubes too, so that, you know, they can enjoy the taste while they're down there too.You know, even though they already, they, they already like what it tastes like, add some extra flavor shock 'em motherfucker. But you know, like for, for me, I, I would just prefer like a little quick and it doesn't like the process for that like what is it? Fleet? Yeah, a fleet 30 minutes or so you don't have to worry about adding too much water it literally just.Flushes you out and that's all you need. When you do use like a douche and you do add like fragrances and essential oils, all of that. To the mix. You have to understand exactly what those oils do to your body. Are they even meant to be on internal for internal use? [00:40:00] And if you out here putting the wrong essential oils in your asshole, you gonna be burned.It likeit's not supposed to be there for a reason. like, if anything, okay. If I'm going to try my best to do something like that, let me just chop up some apples. Put some, a little bit of orange juice up in there and then see what happens. It's no, don't do, please not put orange juice. That's citrus. Let's go to burn.Do not do that. Please not put citrus in your asshole. oh God. But cause the De'Vannon: anal, well y'all the anal canal is a very, what we might call a. It's a thin, like what we might, we may call a OUS sort of tissue it tears easy. It's very thin. It's not tough. Like the inside of your asshole is not tough. Like say like the skin on your arm, on your thigh, on your chest.Mm-hmm . And so [00:41:00] you have to be very, very careful. That's why people shove drugs up their ass because it'll get through to their Dr. Bloodstream quick, because it's kind of, kind of similar to under your tongue. You know, it's very wet all the time. It's very, it's just very soft and pliable. So you wanna respect the whole, you know, cause you want it to be around, you know, a lot longer for years for you to enjoy and everything like that.I don't use fragrances pretty much every man I've ever been with they who really, who really loves them a nice ass. You know, they really like the natural odors of it and stuff like that because your body emits what's called like pheromones through your sweat glands and stuff like that, which don't carry an odor with them.But it turns on people, it turns on, you know, men are drawn to those pheromones, like, you know, like, you know, like a dog chasing a tree, you know? [00:42:00] So I don't add fragrances, you know, I just keep it all on natural R right,Vernon: right. I'm with you there. Like you know, why you here? Solike, it, it is like, oh, when I, when I used to see those tips and tricks and whatnot, I'm why y'all are doing way too much. This is. This is way, way too much. And I'm like, even in my learning process of what to, and what, like, you know, the dos and don't, I'm just like, so you want me to do all of these things.And you're not even talking about the temperature of water when it comes to like a douche cuz you cannot have have it too high because that does two things burn the inside of your asshole, even if it's like on the warmer side of things which can also make you start to sweat because it, like you said, it is a very sensitive area.[00:43:00]So now you have a burning asshole. It's it's on fire, you filled with water and now you have to get that outta your body. And now you have to relax some and let your body naturally cool down before you can do anything. So it's like you, you have to really think about how you douche and what you put into your body.De'Vannon: And we're not trying to make this sound like a chore. It's fun to learn about yourself in this way. Mm-hmm , you know, you know, make it a fun thing, you know, go online, look at different douche bottles, animal bottles, stuff like that. If you have a partner, it can be like a whole fun, fun thing you can shop for the shit together can get different colors.You can't, you can totally get the flavors that what you want. And Hey, if you try some shit or you try it one way and it don't work. That's cool, boo. Try it again. Mm-hmm Vernon: mm-hmm shop around, customize it. De'Vannon: you know, [00:44:00] and look sometimes me and my partner, sometimes I don't do, sometimes we just go all our natural and if we find something down there, we do some usually we don't.But if we do, it's not a big deal. Some men. I've had some men who did not want me to clean out all the way. Some men get into a little bit of shit. Now they like a little scat, you know, some freak out over and look don't ever let anybody bottom shame you. If you get shit on a Dick, it just happens. Shit's supposed to be down there.Right. You know, we don't do the bottom shaming, you know? Well, since I mention it, let's talk about the bottom SHA look Vernon: again, you know, why the fuck you came here? Like, you know that you're dealing with an asshole. How are you shocked if there's shit like , doesn't like, even, even if you are cleaning out and whatnot and you flushed out your system, look, things happen.Shit happens. Okay. It, it is like, why are you upset? Why are you upset? I [00:45:00] literally have some, some dude who was like he, I, I was like, oh, I just, he wasn't to hook up. And I wasn't really doing anything that day. I had a, a very open day wasn't looking for sex, but, you know, I was like, okay, you know, you cute.I, I I'm okay with adding you to my body count. So I was like, okay, I, I just need to get ready. And he literally asked the question, what do you mean by get ready? Well, one, I need to shower. I also need to clean out, you know, get the shit out. And he was like, well, I just used the word clean out. He's like, okay, what do you mean clean out?I have to do that means shit and all this other stuff. And when I said that he was like, Ew, you wouldn't have to tell me that. I was like, but you just asked, like, I, I used colorful language to avoid saying that. And now you're asking, and now you turned off because you're coming over here to fuck me.And you're shocked that I will have to take a shit in order for you to fuck me. Like. [00:46:00] What the math is hardly ever matting with people these days. like I, people crazy. De'Vannon: So we wanna deal with people who have a realistic expectation. So it is, it doesn't make you more of a man or anything like that to be out of touch with what the people you want to have.Sexual relations are going through. Mm-hmm so like a man who's gonna get freaked out over a bloody vagina, or just take a very hands off approach to understanding the period process and the menstrual process. I don't, I don't think you're more of a man. You're just an uneducated mm-hmm dude. you just don't know what the fuck's going on.Right. And I mean, if anything, it might make you fuck better. If you understand the holes better that you like to plow around in, you know, You know, just get some head knowledge on it and you [00:47:00] got those, those guys out there and they got a lot of mating to do when they trip out about either a bloody vagina or a, or a dirty, shitty asshole.Now, look, I, everyone knows I'm not a gold star gay I've had sex with women. I've I've, I've taken Dick from probably 10,000 different men in his life. Like, no, Joe, I probably only top 10. Because I don't, you know, I just prefer, you know, to be pumped full of calm on most nights and so , and so, but I, but for the few women I've slept with, I've had blood on my Dick before and for the few guys I've topped, I've gotten shit on my Dick before and we just kept on fucking I'm like, I'm here now.It is what it is. Vernon: this nut is trying to get busted. So like, that's the craziest thing to me. Like why, why are you so uncomfortable? Like me, I, I do identify as bisexual. And I playing and pussy is fun. Like it's, it's it's if you're [00:48:00] going to be there, enjoy it. Like like, how are you someone who prefers to be with some of a Volvo owner owning person and not be comfortable with knowing how it operates.Like if you're not tracking your partners cycle, Then you're not doing your job properly. You're not trying to engage with them on all the levels that they, you know, want to be engaged in not saying that you have to, but at least be willing to understand that science and how that works with your partner.Even when it comes to homosexual or gay relationships, anything dealing with anal, knowing how that process worked, how they tend to clean themselves. I, what they diet looks like whenever they are probably going to be bottoming for you. Like, even with my past relationship, I made it an effort to have my partner douche so that he understands, this is what I go through.If I, if we're going to like, fuck , it's not like, oh, [00:49:00] I'm horny, let's have sex. No, I'm going, it's going to take some time. It's going take development. And if you're not willing to wait in that anticipation for that to happen, then you might as well not be here. I De'Vannon: know that's right now. You said something interesting to me.In terms of tracking your partner's period. I never dated a girl for long enough to get well, shit who I was. Yeah, fuck. I never dated a girl long enough to to get that close with her. So in, so in a male, female relationship, that's brilliant, you know, to be that close to your girl, to know when she's gonna be ovulating and everything like that.So you could almost like anticipate her mood to some extent, you know, mm-hmm then you won't be shocked, you know, when cramps started or she's a little cranky cuz you, you know, acting like it's not gonna happen every month. It's a very realistic. And sensible and so minded approach Vernon: there, well, even understanding their birth [00:50:00] control method, all of that, you should know that as a partner, you should know how that has impacted them.So you can understand how, okay, this is why they're having a mood swing is because they're on their their birth control. And at this point they will be having the cycle. So there's a lot of hormones going around. So let me give them their space. De'Vannon: So you preaching now. So since we talk about dicks and pussies and assholes and all of this, I wanna, I wanna talk about sexually transmitted infections.This is some, and again, these topics are, are the topics that Vernon covers on his show and his book and everything like that. And since it is pride month, it seems like there's been an increase in talk of gay health in particular. I guess cuz the world's just [00:51:00] getting sicker, you know, we know what new virus is coming out, like as frequently as they are.Let's see, how shall I start this? Well, let me tell everyone all the sexually transmitted diseases that I've ever had and then we'll go from there. How does that sound burning? Vernon: That sounds good to me. De'Vannon: So HIV, I got close to getting full blown aids, but I started taking the medication before my T cell count dropped too low.I think it got down to somewhere around 500 ish so, yeah, that was back when I was about 127 pounds and homeless and strung out on meth. And so we've had HIV, almost full blown aids, hepatitis B. I've had anal wards. I've had syphilis bunch of times chlamydia, a bunch of times gonorrhea. A bunch of times had that one.That's it. I've got everything I said is the only one [00:52:00]Vernon: well, if you've got tested for HSV one, then we, we, even though they don't consider that STI, but I'm with you on that one.look you out here with bingo, but look, I have mental health. Bingo, you got St. Bingo winning our,De'Vannon: well, what can I say? I did what I didHS. So he mentioned HS V one, HSV, one, HPV human Papi virus. I don't know what the fuck the HSV stands for human Vernon: Herpes, De'Vannon: herpes simplex. So the thing is. Herpes the human path alone. Pathoma virus is a sort of thing that is passed from like skin to skin contact. So the moment you start kissing people, having sex with people, you are [00:53:00] thrown into this whole pot of HSV, HPV.Everybody has this on their skin. So if you take a test to Vernon's point, you probably will show positive for it. It's just the way it is. The thing is it does not manifest on everybody. And you've got at least 20, 30 different strands of the shit too. So it's not like it's a simple thing. I have incredibly sensitive skin.And so that's why I think the, an awards presented on me and, you know, I used to get cold sores a lot like that too. Not everybody will get cold sores. So what I'm saying is there could be a Dick. Who has the HPV virus on it, a kind that will generate an war and he might stick his Dick, hit the Vernons asshole and Vernon will not manifest an awards.He might stick his Dick into my asshole and I will manifest an war. It just depends on what's going on with Vernons body versus mine, his immune system, my immune [00:54:00] system, his natural chem, chemistry makeup, and so many different variables. A lot of which are unknown. The nurses and the doctors will just tell you, you know, we don't know why manifest on some people and not on others.So thing is, there's a little vaccine that I, which a bitch would've told me about when I was younger called HPV. All you got, it takes about a year. It's a three series shot. It takes a year to get the full vaccine, but that could have prevented me from getting an war and stuff like that. There's so many vaccines that I think are important to the gay community.And if we're not going to a good doctor, they're gonna miss it. Mm-hmm . So they should have given me hepatitis vaccines, HPV vaccines, and all of this shit back when they knew I was a gay ho, you know, and they knew I was a gay ho because I was in there getting tested of positive for everything else, you know?And so on the anal ward thing. So now [00:55:00] every year I have to go to the doctor for them to take a biopsy out of my asshole to cut a piece out because there's this thing called anal pap smears that people who bottom a lot need to get they take, and they do a culture like a swab around the asshole and check for any abnormal cells.Because if you're getting trauma down there a lot, or if you, you know, you've been exposed to HPV, whether you've had wart or not, you still need to get checked. So the test that I had done showed some abnormalities. So then with that, they, they went in and took a deeper look. They put me under anesthesia to see if they found any, to see if anything deeper in the anal canal was there.They found some pre-cancerous cells. Okay. Had they let the, had we let that go, that it would've turned into cancer. And then that would've been a whole other shit show. And that has happened to people. And a lot of doctors missed this on people who have a lot of anal sex. And [00:56:00] this goes for straight people too.Now you got straight guys out there who like to get fucked in the ass by plastic dicks. And sometimes by real dicks. And you have women out there who like to get fucked in the ass, you gotta get your ass, whole checked people. And so, so every year now I go, I call it my anal rejuvenation. Retreat every year ago.I like that. I like that. They put me under and they chop the piece out. They examine it to be sure. You know, no nothing's going on and then we stay and then we stay on top of it. That way I've talked for long enough, but I had to go ahead and tell people about my assholes. So what do you think about anal Warz and the HPV shot and everything?see Vernon: I didn't even know about the HPV shot, so that, that going, I need to like, go see about some stuff, but even like going back to something that you said earlier because you said it's probably month and, you know, that's when you really get the notices about [00:57:00] getting tested and all this other stuff.And I really hate that so much because we link being, getting tested on a regular basis for HIV, STIs, and all the STIs during pride month. But we do not have the same messaging throughout the year. We link it to. Homosexuality all the time. We link it to the LGBTQ plus community all the time. When it impacts all of us, this is some marketing that's supposed to be going year round to let people know, Hey, make sure you get tested, make sure you do get tested for all of these things.It's going back to the sexual health. Like even whenever I go to, so I had an incident at the beginning of the year where someone stealed me, meaning I thought they had a condom on and they did not have a condom on. So I had to go get tested. I had to go on on pep just to make sure I don't contract any diseases that this person who has, if they do have any [00:58:00] in.Even in those meetings, how the people cuz I, I prefer to always have sex with the condom oil. And because of that, I don't have to use prep or anything like that. But meeting with the doctors, they're just trying so heavily to push prep, like make sure you do take this. This is going to be something beneficial to you.And I'm like, okay, you do not even realize that the fact that I'm here is because I was sexually assaulted by somebody that you are so ready to push this medicine on me to me that what you're telling me is that I should be taking this on a regular basis because guess what? That's probably gonna happen again, that someone's going to violate you.So you might as well already have the protection to prevent it. And I'm like that shouldn't be what you're telling me in this moment. Like that, that is how a lot of our medical system is. It's like, okay, we're going to not really educate you on [00:59:00] all the things about sexual health, but Hey, we got this medicine that's for you, even in that moment with you, knowing that I am a person who do participate in anal sex that I am about why aren't you let me know about, you know, the HPV shot that I can possibly have just in case something like that happens.Why is it always just the prep side of things? Why are, are aren't we telling heterosexual people that, you know, you have access to pep, you have access to prep that you have all of these diseases that might impact you. We don't educate women on HPV and how common that is for men to have that and transferred over to women.We don't educate people that the majority of society actually has HPV already, like. These are the conversations that is often lacking outside of, you know, June. And when it is June, it's only focusing on the queer community. It's [01:00:00] like all these other people, you wanna focus on the minority of us as though we are the, the bringers of all sexual diseases, which is not the case.De'Vannon: Okay. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry that, that sexual violation experience happened to you. And I'm sorry that your doctors were a Dick, but a lot of many doctors just don't have a soul. And so that's why I recommend nurse practitioners to people because a good female nurse practitioner, I've never met a male nurse practitioner, but I'm sure they exist.Is I think better for you. They really, really take their time with you because they were a nurse first. Now they have the same, they can prescribe medication like a doctor. They have nurses that work for them. And it's just like talking to a doctor except that they may not be in charge of the clinic. But so I see a nurse practitioner best medical care I've ever had in my life.She's the one who gave, given me [01:01:00] all these vaccines, who, who caught the thing in my asshole and everything like that, you know, she's not looking at me like just, you know, some gay filthy disease, Mong girl setting in her office. You know, she's looking at me like her child, you know, the males that I've had, you know, they just wanted to get me and get me out.He didn't wanna talk about assholes and what's going in and out of them and stuff. You know, these doctors are uncomfortable with us. and probably with themselves too, and we don't need that. So if you're unhappy with the medical care, you're getting fucking go somewhere else. Sure. If you can and, and try and ask around for a nurse practitioner, I didn't know that things existed until, you know, you know, you know, once I moved back here to Louisiana from Texas, so Vernon: Texas , De'Vannon: I don't live in Texas anymore.Oh my God. It just Vernon: sure. I could never, I have, I have people I wanna visit in that state, but I could not live there. I can't even one, if I even moved [01:02:00] to Texas with everything I have right now, I will go to jail because one, I, I, I'm already outside of their limit for how many sex toys you can have in the state, De'Vannon: they have a sex toy Vernon: limit.Yes. I think it's six. You cannot own more than six toys in the state of Tennessee. I mean, in the state of Texas, but you could have as many guns as you.De'Vannon: I'll just let that sink in. that reminds me when I was an air force recruiter and I had this thick ass book of regulations about all the reasons why a person can't join the air force. And there was actually, there was actually a rule in there that if someone had participated in orgys in three ways, then they were considered to have character that was unfit to serve in the United States air force.And I never told that to anybody and I, but I thought to [01:03:00] myself, who, who in the actual fuck sat down somewhere and thought about this deep about what the hell somebody is doing in their bedroom, how that can translate into whether or not, you know, how to fix an aircraft. What in the fuck does that one have to do with the other and who thought about it?The same other fuckers who wanna control us through religion? The same other fuckers who want to control us through politics. There are people in this world who set around and think this hard about what people are doing in their own homes. It's so , Vernon: I, I just learned, I can't draw in the air force. That's I'm trying to let that sit in.De'Vannon: as a recruiter, I never lied to my recruits, but I lied to the air force religiously by the things that my recruits had done, because it, in my [01:04:00] opinion, it was none of their fucking business. If they'd done, done all kinds of meth and heroin and weed. Okay. If they're, if they're not still doing it, then let them go.But you let the air force tell it, if you ever did meth or heroin or LS D that's like a, you can't come in. I'm like, okay, if this is not in they system, I just, I told my recruits to just lie. Vernon: That that's like most of the people I see who are lawyers that I not the ones that I personally know, but the stories I know of, of some people, I'm just like you're out here pushing these certain laws about drugs.And were you COPD out whereyou at De'Vannon: that party?OK. Okay. But go off people, people do it all the time. Every. It's a psychological thing. People like to try to restrict you [01:05:00] from doing the things that they're doing, because people have bad mental health and the people who make the laws and the people who run churches and stuff like that. Don't have to qualify and pass mental health examinations to have these positions.They just have to suck the right Dick have gone to the right school or some shit like that, but they don't have to be mentally qualified. Vernon: Child. I just wanna know what's the right dig to make sure that all my bills is paid. That's that's all I wanna know, like long as you cover that and you also add 500,000 on the books.We good. I only doing it once, because look, I'm not trying to suck your Dick on a regular basis. Oh, you can't pay me enough of that. I'm sorry, but just that one time I, I made sure I give you $500,000 service. That's all I know. De'Vannon: your lips gonna be laced with platinum Vernon: look gold. The fuck. Well, actually platinum's a little bit more expensive.You know what? Yeah, we go. You're right. You're right.[01:06:00]alright. De'Vannon: And so, and so, all right. So since we're talking about Texas and we'll begin to wrap it up, With with, with this, we, I wanted to ask you about, so y'all, we're gonna have this, this fine feisty beast man right here. Ooh, Vernon: beast, man. Yes. Had to say beast, man. Now I'm thinking of X man and beast man was still fine the next man.So in a storm, Chuck. Okay. I'm good. I'm gonna get you at blue. De'Vannon: So, you know,Vernon: it's big, you know, it's big. De'Vannon: It's got, so we're gonna have him back on if, to talk about his book, about, you know, the, the essential guy to being Ahoe. There was a port in there where you were [01:07:00] drawing a comparison between like obesity and abortion that I'm gonna ask you about in a minute, just to give a little teaser of the flavor of the book.But before we transition to that and close out, I wanted to say a couple of things. I wanna jump back for a second to about how we were talking about how it's June and how they focus on all the diseases and shit. When the spotlight is on the gay people. I just wanna remind the world just how kinky straight people are too, and how there's not really that many core straight people left.If ever there were, I've taken so much Dick from straight married men. Now, look, I'm not a thought anymore. I don't take any pride in being that whole over there. No more. That's what thought stands for. But there was a time in my youth where I was like, oh, well, I ain't my fault a bitch. And I do what she supposed to be doing.Come on over here and get this busty. But you know, I don't fuck marry men anymore, but all they, but I've had sex with so many married men is unreal, straight [01:08:00] acting masculine, married men. Nobody could know. So women. Try to fuck their gay friends. I've had this happen too. and you have all kinds of people who do not identify as anything other than straight, who seem to always find themselves in the company of non straight people trying to do shit.And they don't consider themselves not straight. I don't know. I mean, just cuz you have sexual experiences with people who are not straight, doesn't make you anything other than straight, but it makes you a freak for damn show. And so what I'm saying is the diseases. You know, it can affect us all because people who identify as straight, still like to have experiences that are not straight.And so I just wanted to remind people like that and let you know, it's not just men, the women like to get freaky Dey too. and the diseases go both ways. So yeah, straight people should be using prep and everything else. The messaging should be the same to the [01:09:00] whole world all the time. Not just to the gay people in June mm-hmmSo I wanted you to explain to people how your podcast, how the, the question structure is. Cause you're very categorized and you're very organized. So just kind of break that down for people. Vernon: So at, at first we all myself and my guests will meet up and we'll just talk about the topics that they chose.So I'm a very consent forward person. I don't invite people onto the podcast to ask them to discuss a specific topic. I let my guests choose whatever they want to, and then we'll meet, we'll discuss, okay. Why did you choose this one topic? And we'll, and within that conversation, I might get inspired by something.And I jot that down because that would be something that will be great to dig deeper into and then ask reflective questions during that time, too, so that we both can grow that conversation a little bit more. And that helps guide the episode. And while [01:10:00] we're actually recording and sit down and talking about things, I'll have that up so that we can still keep structure within the show.But we welcome tangents because that is what a true conversation is. A true conversation is something about. It's, it's having those 10 tangential conversations going into different things, unrelated to what you originally was talking about, and then somehow finding your way all the way back to that point.Regardless of how far left you went or how far right you went, you're just going through the motions. You're going through the flow of every day, everyday life, essentially. So that's pretty much how everything is structured. We also have our what is the word? Safe word of the show too.For any conversation that is too uncomfortable again, consent forward. And that safe word is red light disco. We haven't had to use it yet [01:11:00] but it is still there. One of my friends, she tried to us