Podcasts about preferably

The Terumat Ha'deshen (Rav Yisrael Isserlin, 1390-1460), in a famous responsum (139), writes that there is a Misva Min Ha'mubhar (especially high standard of performing the Misva) to swallow the Ke'zayit of Masa at the Seder all at once. Meaning, one chews the Masa as he puts it in his mouth without swallowing, and only after the entire Ke'zayit is in his mouth, he swallows all of it at the same time. The Terumat Ha'deshen bases this view on a comment of the Mordechi. There is a debate among the Halachic authorities as to whether the Shulhan Aruch accepted this position of the Terumat Ha'deshen. Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Israel, 1923-1998) understood the Shulhan Aruch's comments (Orah Haim 475:1) as suggesting that one should ideally swallow the Ke'zayit all at once, following the Terumat Ha'deshen's position. Other Aharonim similarly understood the Shulhan Aruch's ruling in this fashion, including Rav Zalman of Liadi, the Aruch Ha'shulhan, and the Magen Abraham. Hacham Ovadia Yosef, however, in Hazon Ovadia – Teshubot, interpreted the Shulhan Aruch's comments differently. According to his reading, the Shulhan Aruch did not accept the Terumat Ha'deshen's ruling, and there is no reason at all to try to swallow the entire He'zayit all at once. As long as one eats the entire Ke'zayit without interruption, within the period of "Kedeh Achilat Paress," he has fulfilled the Misva at the highest standard. Preferably, one should eat the Ke'zayit within four minutes, but even if he eats it within nine minutes, he has fulfilled the Misva properly. The Shulhan Aruch rules (475:6) that if one eats the Ke'zayit over the course of a period that extends longer than "Kedeh Achilat Paress," then he fulfills the Misva only on the level of "Be'di'abad" (after the fact). But as long as one eats the Ke'zayit within 4-9 minutes, he has fulfilled the Misva properly, at the highest level. Hacham Ovadia further notes that several Halachic authorities did not observe the Terumat Ha'deshen's practice. These include the Maharil (Rav Yaakov Halevi Moelin,1365-1427), the Rabbi of the Terumat Ha'deshen, and the Eliya Rabba (Rav Eliyahu Shapiro of Prague, 1660-1712). Additionally, the Aruch Ha'shulhan wrote that one does not have to observe this practice. In light of all this, and given the concern that attempting to swallow an entire Ke'zayit all at once could pose a serious hazard, Hacham Ovadia writes that as a rule, this practice should not be encouraged. If a person is certain that he can swallow the Masa in this fashion safely, and he will not creating a Hillul Hashem (defamation of G-d) by appearing gluttonous or unbecoming, then he may observe this practice and "Tabo Alav Beracha" (he is worthy of blessing). In general, however, one should eat the Masa in the normal manner of eating, ensuring to complete the Ke'zayit within a period of 4-9 minutes. Summary: One should eat the Ke'zayit of Masa at the Seder in the normal way he ordinarily eats, ensuring to complete the Ke'zayit within a period of 4-9 minutes.

Halacha requires drinking four cups of wine at the Seder, and each cup must contain at least a Rebi'it – approximately 3.2 ounces – of wine. Preferably, one should drink the entire cup, but one fulfills his obligation even if he drinks less, as long as he drinks at least the majority of the cup (Shulhan Aruch Orah Haim 472:8). The question arises, in what time-frame must one drink this amount in order to be considered to have drunk a cup of wine? Within how much time one must drink the Rebi'it (or the majority of the cup)? The Rambam (Rabbi Moshe Maimonides, Spain-Egypt, 1135-1204), in several contexts, maintains that one is considered to have drunk a Rebi'it if he drinks it within the amount of time that is normally needed to drink this amount. This is, of course, a very short period of time. According to the Rambam, then, it would seem that when drinking each of the four cups, one must drink the Rebi'it all at once. The Ra'abad (Rabbi Abraham Ben David of Posquieres, 1125-1198), however, disagrees, and maintains that one is considered to have drunk a Rebi'it if he drinks this amount within the period of "Kedeh Achilat Paress," which is defined as anywhere from four minutes to nine minutes. This view is based on the Gemara's discussion in Masechet Keritut (13). The Shulhan Aruch, in discussing the laws of Yom Kippur (Orah Haim 612:10), appears to follow the Rambam's view, as he writes that one violates the prohibition of drinking on Yom Kippur if he drinks a Rebi'it in the amount of time normally needed to drink this quantity. Elsewhere in the laws of Yom Kippur, however, in discussing the guidelines for ill patients, the Shulhan Aruch indicates that he follows the Ra'abad's view. Thus, the Shulhan Aruch's position on this issue is unclear. When it comes to the laws of Berachot, the accepted practice is not to recite a Beracha Aharona after drinking unless one drank a Rebi'it all at once and is thus required to recite a Beracha Aharona even according to the Rambam. In light of the rule of "Safek Berachot Le'hakel" – we do not recite a Beracha in situations of uncertainty – we do not recite a Beracha Aharona unless a Rebi'it was drunk all at once, within the time normally needed to drink this amount, in deference to the Rambam's position. Returning to the four cups of wine at the Seder, Hacham Ovadia Yosef, in his Hazon Ovadia – Teshubot, rules that although one should preferably drink the cup all at once, if this is difficult one may rely on the Ra'abad's view. He writes that since the obligation of Arba Kosot (the four cups) was enacted by the Sages, and does not constitute a Biblical requirement, one may rely on those authorities who allow drinking the required amount within the period of "Kedeh Achilat Paress." Although the Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909), in Parashat Sav (29), maintains that one who did not drink the required amount all at once must drink another cup, Hacham Ovadia disagrees. In his view, although one should preferably drink the required amount all at once, if one drank within 4-9 minutes he has fulfilled his obligation. This is the position taken by several other Halachic authorities, as well, including the Aruch Ha'shulhan, Rav Haim Palachi and Hacham Bension Abba Shaul. It should be noted that one does not have to drink the required amount in a single gulp. Even according to the Rambam's view, the Rebi'it must be drunk within the time-frame that is normally needed to drink this amount, and therefore, as it is normal for people to drink in two gulps, this would be perfectly acceptable. See shaar ha siyun 210 sk 11 Summary: Each of the four cups of wine at the Seder must contain at least 3.2 ounces of wine, and one should preferably drink the entire cup all at once, without pausing, though it does not have to be drunk in a single gulp. If it would be difficult to drink the entire cup, one should drink at least the majority of the cup. If it would be difficult to drink the required amount all at once, it may be drunk within a period of 4-9 minutes.

The New York Yankees beat the Miami Marlins, 7-0, behind a strong eight-inning performance from Nestor Cortes who needed it. Do you know who else needed it? The Yankees' bullpen. It was perfect timing. Brian and Stacey discuss Nestor's performance and the performance of the new-look offense in Monday's victory. Anthony Volpe and Juan Soto went deep and Giancarlo Stanton is still hitting. Then, they talk about Volpe and how good he looks so far in 2024. Of course, it's early, and things can change as they tend to do in baseball, but right now, both Brian and Stacey want Volpe in the lead-off spot before the end of the season. Preferably by the All-Star break, especially if he keeps it up. Then they preview the matchup between AJ Puk and Carlos Rodón on Tuesday and talk about the importance of Rodón's starts in 2024 compared to 2023, and they have Gerrit Cole, DJ LeMahieu, and Tommy Kahnle injury updates! Join the LOY Insiders Club! https://joinsubtext.com/lockedonyankeesWhat is the insider's club? https://youtu.be/BItWi-kbIJY?t=1468Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH5857VCyYLAzsWr9vHk4sQSupport Us By Supporting Our Sponsors!PolicygeniusCheck life insurance off your to do list in no time with Policygenius. Head to policygenius.com/lockedonmlb to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. IbottaRight now, Ibotta is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Ibotta by using the code LOCKEDONMLB when you download the app. PrizePicksGo to PrizePicks.com/lockedonmlb and use code lockedonmlb for a first deposit match up to $100!eBay MotorsFrom brakes to exhaust kits and beyond, eBay Motors has over 122 million parts to keep your ride-or-die alive. With all the parts you need at the prices you want, it's easy to bring home that big win. Keep your ride-or-die alive at EbayMotors.com. Eligible items only. Exclusions apply. eBay Guaranteed Fit only available to US customers.GametimeDownload the Gametime app, create an account, and use code LOCKEDONMLB for $20 off your first purchase.FanDuelFanDuel, America's Number One Sportsbook. Right now, NEW customers get ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS in BONUS BETS with any winning GUARANTEED That's A HUNDRED AND FIFTY BUCKS – win or lose! Visit FanDuel.com/LOCKEDON to get started.FANDUEL DISCLAIMER: 21+ in select states. First online real money wager only. Bonus issued as nonwithdrawable free bets that expires in 14 days. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit FanDuel.com/RG (CO, IA, MD, MI, NJ, PA, IL, VA, WV), 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 (AZ), 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-9-WITH-IT (IN), 1-800-522-4700 (WY, KS) or visit ksgamblinghelp.com (KS), 1-877-770-STOP (LA), 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY), TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN)

Many people ask whether grape juice may be used instead of wine for the Misva of "Arba Kosot" – drinking four cups of wine at the Seder. This is, indeed, an important question with which the Halachic authorities have grappled, both in regard to this Misva as well as in regard to the Misva of Kiddush. When it comes to Kiddush, the Rambam (Rav Moshe Maimonides, Spain-Egypt, 1135-1204) ruled that wine which is Mebushal – meaning, it has been brought to a boil – may not be used. The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 472) does not follow this view of the Rambam, but according to some authorities, it is preferable not to use Mebushal wine for Kiddush. The grape juice which is commonly sold in stores today is Mebushal (as it has undergone pasteurization), so this is one disadvantage of using grape juice for Kiddush. It should be noted that the Shulhan Aruch permits using for Kiddush freshly-squeezed grape juice produced on Friday, so if somebody squeezes grapes to produce grape juice before Shabbat, which is obviously not Mebushal, he avoids this disadvantage. The second Halachic disadvantage of grape juice is that it fails to meet the standard mentioned by several Halachic authorities (Magen Abraham, and Hid"a in Birkeh Yosef) who maintained that one should preferably use aged wine for Kiddush. This refers to wine which was contained in a vat for at least forty days. Grape juice never even begins the fermenting process, and thus certainly does not meet this preferred criterion. Thus, although from a strict Halachic standpoint grape juice may be used for Kiddush on Shabbat, it is preferable to use wine. Ideally, one should use non-Mebushal, aged wine. The next level would be aged wine that is Mebushal. The third level would be non-Mebushal grape juice, and the fourth level would be Mebushal grape juice. When it comes to the four cups at the Seder, there is an additional factor that must be taken into consideration. Namely, the wine drunk at the Seder must have the quality of "Mesame'ah" – it brings a person joy. The Halachic authorities address the question of whether grape juice, which has no intoxicating effect, meets this requirement. Hacham Ovadia Yosef draws proof from the comments of the Ran (Rabbenu Nissim of Gerona, Spain, 1315-1376) in Masechet Pesahim, and from the Gemara's discussion in Masechet Baba Batra (93), that even wine which is not intoxicating is suitable for the four cups of wine at the Seder. He applies this conclusion to grape juice, as well. As a practical matter, Hacham Ovadia, as well as Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Israel, 1923-1998), ruled that one should preferably use wine for the four cups, even if this poses some difficulty, but women, and those for whom drinking wine is very difficult, may use grape juice. Hacham Bension adds that a person who cannot drink four cups of wine should use wine for at least the final cup, as he will go to sleep soon afterward. Another option is to mix wine and grape juice for the four cups. It should be noted that Rav Moshe Feinstein (Russia-New York, 1895-1986) is cited as having ruled against the use of grape juice for the four cups at the Seder. However, as mentioned, the leading Sephardic Sages of the last generation – Hacham Ovadia Yosef and Hachan Bension – allowed the use of grape juice for women and for those who have considerable difficulty drinking four cups of wine. Summary: One should use wine, and not grape juice, for the four cups at the Seder, but women, as well as men for whom drinking four cups of wine poses considerable difficulty, may use grape juice. Preferably, they should mix wine and grape juice, or drink wine for at least the fourth of the four cups.

I am not sure the term “unstoppable” is good enough for our guest Denise Meridith. Denise was born in Brooklyn NY and, in part, attributes her “get things done” attitude to her upbringing in New York. As a child she wanted to be a veterinarian, but such was not to be. Denise explains that colleges back then didn't consider women capable of assuming veterinarian positions. So, Denise got a BS degree in Wildlife Biology.   She then joined the U.S. Bureau of Land Management where, for 29 years, assumed a number of position including serving as the deputy director. We get to hear stories of her time with the bureau and how she moved around, something that was fairly common for government employees for awhile.   After serving with the bureau for more than 20 years Denise was offered “early retirement” due to the long time she served there. After retiring she became the CEO of Denise Meridith Consultants Inc (DMCI), a public and community relations firm. In 2019 she also became the CEO of The World's Best Connectors LLC, a virtual community for C-suite executives that helps other executives enhance their connections with family, employees, clients, government & the media. If running two companies weren't enough Denise also has formed a 501C3 nonprofit organization, Read to Kids US Inc to promote literacy and family bonding.   See what I mean about being unstoppable? Denise is quite engaging and I am sure you will discover that the time listening to our conversation goes by quickly and you may even wish to give this episode a second listen.   About the Guest:   Denise Meridith is a highly accomplished senior executive, entrepreneur and thought leader, with more than 40 years of success in government, technology, sports, and entertainment. When sexism denied her access to her childhood dream of becoming a veterinarian, she earned a BS in Wildlife Biology from Cornell University and became the first professional woman hired by the Federal Bureau of Land Management. During her 29 years with the Bureau, Meridith served in multiple states and, while Deputy Director in Washington, DC, she oversaw 200 offices, 10,000 employees and a $1.1 billion budget.   After early retirement from the Federal government and for the past 20 years, she has been CEO of Denise Meridith Consultants Inc (DMCI), a public and community relations firm. Since 2019, Meridith has also been CEO of The World's Best Connectors LLC, a virtual community for C-suite executives that helps other executives enhance their connections with family, employees, clients, government & the media. Recently she created a 501(c)3 non-profit Read to Kids US Inc to promote literacy and family bonding.   During the past 25 years in Arizona, Denise founded the Phoenix Black Chamber of Commerce, Linking Sports & Communities (a youth sports non-profit for 14 years), and was a Governor-appointed member of the original Arizona Sports & Tourism Board. She helped win approval for State Farm Stadium for the Arizona Cardinals.  In academia, she taught sports marketing for undergraduates at Arizona State University and business operations for executives at eCornell. As a freelance reporter, she has even written 1000 articles about small businesses. Denise Meridith has won many awards for business and community development in Arizona.   ** ** Ways to connect with Denise:   FREE OFFERS:   JOIN DENISE MERIDITH'S MAILING LIST   http://tinyurl.com/3ttt5rsu   Make your first New Year's Resolution Now: Schedule a 15-min call to see if Denise Meridith's Gen X & Baby Boomer Executives Regaining Your Mojo  counseling or masterminds starting in January are right for you https://calendly.com/dmci2021/mastering-the-metaverse   LEARN MORE ABOUT Denise Meridith:   By reading her self-biographies published on Amazon: o   Thoughts While Chillin'  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1791662323 o   The Day a Roof Rat Ate My Dishwasher https://www.amazon.com/dp/1729211127   Social Media:   Facebook:    http://www.facebook.com/denise.meridith.7 LinkedIn:     http://www.linkedin.com/in/denisemeridtih Twitter:  @MeridithDP2023       About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.     Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, a pleasant hello to you wherever you happen to be. I am your host, Michael Hingson. And you are listening to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're with us. And today we get to talk to Denise Meridith, who has a really interesting story, a few factoids, and then we will just go from there. She as a child wanted to be a veterinarian, but had some sexist issues. And they wouldn't let her do it. I want to know about that. I think the world has changed in that regard. Some but nevertheless, when she was wanting to do it, it was different. She is the first female professional hired by the Bureau of Land Management. And that's fascinating. And she's got a lot of other things to talk about. So I don't think we're going to have any problem filling up an hour Denise. So I want to welcome you to unstoppable mindset. And thanks for being here.   Denise Meridith ** 02:13 Well, thank you, Michael. I appreciate being invited. Looking forward to it. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 02:18 why don't we start then, with you talking a little bit about the the early Denise the child and all that, you know, what, where you grew up and some of that kind of stuff. And what made you interested in being a veterinarian and you know, we can take it from there? Sure.   Denise Meridith ** 02:34 Well, I am born in Brooklyn, like so many people in New York City, a lot of people born in Brooklyn, and then they migrate different boroughs.   Michael Hingson ** 02:43 Where are the best bagels in Brooklyn? Well, I   Denise Meridith ** 02:47 didn't stay there long enough to find okay. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 02:53 Well, okay, we're the best bagels and Queens.   Denise Meridith ** 02:55 We had so many people grew up in New York City. Every block will have a good bagel. So yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 03:03 I know. That's why I asked the question, trying to be cute. It's just like I lived in Chicago for five years. I was born in Chicago moved out when I was five. And so I don't know when things like Garrett Popcorn started. But I know that whenever I go through Chicago, I do need to go to get popcorn in O'Hare. Or if I'm in the city that I'll go to one of the places downtown. We do. We do tend to do some of the things in the world buy our food. What can I say?   Denise Meridith ** 03:29 Yes. All right. If that's hotdogs, yeah, that would be asking you where to get their best hotdog in Chicago. Sure.   Michael Hingson ** 03:34 When they're in Chicago pizza, which is different than New York pizza, but that's okay, too. Yeah, they're both great. Ah, what a world anyway.   Denise Meridith ** 03:44 Yeah, so I sort of grew up in knots, whatever I did grew up in Queens, and I had what I call a Norman Rockwell childhood. If you seen his paintings and pictures, that's pretty much my childhood, but some Boxster ovaries, three houses, that type of thing. My dad had grown up on a ranch in Texas. So that's why he moved to Queens. You want more land around his house there. And so we had a big lot in our house became the center of attention in the neighborhood. We had the barbecues parties. We had a finished basement with a pool table and ping pong table and all that stuff. So we were at the center of things. My dad was a renaissance man, he believe it I didn't ride horses when he grew up. He thought horses would work. He couldn't understand why people rode horses for fun once he became an adult, so instead, he hears the musician. Big bands, he played in big bands,   Michael Hingson ** 04:41 what did he play   Denise Meridith ** 04:43 any horn and also the drums and also the guitar. Anything he can get his hands on? He was an Army and Army veteran. So I played an Army band as well. He was Avature tennis player, a poet, professional photographer, you name it. You did it. And then my mom was a community organizer. So church, PTA, anything that needed somebody in charge she was it. So when you merge those two together, you get me. So I liked a lot of pay for things. My mom, she belonged to the animal association or now Humane Society. So I had all kinds of pets growing up. So it's logical that I would want to be a vet. Because there's not too many professions in New York. It could be go to Broadway and I did take dancing lessons most of my life. But you could go to Broadway, you could be a doctor, you gotta be a lawyer or bid. That was pretty much it. So I picked the vet, because Cornell was in New York one. Yeah. Got vet schools and world. Yes. When I got up there, I found out that they weren't too keen on women being vets, they were just letting like one woman a year and into vet school. And pretty much to be that woman. I knew it was gonna be me, because there'll be somebody who pretty much grew up on a farm or something, or whose parent wasn't? Preferably who went to Cornell.   Michael Hingson ** 06:08 What was what was their logic? I mean, of course, I'm looking at it from today's standpoint, and today's point of view, but what was there was   Denise Meridith ** 06:19 physical physical, that went on weren't capable being that's the women, the few that I let them know, you had to be a small animal that they work with horses or anything like that. So which I thought was pretty ironic. Could you pick up all the women, cow girls and stuff? Yeah. Why? Why they would think women in fact, why went to Cornell, I had a lot of offers when I went to Cornell, was because I had the best equine contract program in the country. And I do like horses. So anyway, I got to do a lot of horse stuff there without being a vet, my roommate, actually was from a town, she just wanted to live in a dorm. So no breaks, all the kids go, you know, I guess what I do now biking, or vaping, or something. We would go horseback riding during breaks. So during lunch, or any kind of break, after school, we would go horseback riding. So it was pretty ideal setting for me growing up. And going to that point, the ideal part of it, of course, was what a lot of people don't know about the North. isn't that different from the south in a lot of ways and that I integrated junior high school, all white, you're in high school, I integrate it in a whole white high school. Cornell there were, like 75 African Americans in my entering class of 3000. So I had a lot of experience, being in the first study only our breaking glass ceilings. So that was my growing up. And my bed story how I got not to be a bit of what happened with that was, which was fortuitous, or actually more beneficial was that I wound up majoring in wildlife biology. Have any women but they didn't say they didn't want any women. So it was a lot different atmosphere there. So three women, three women graduated with degrees in wildlife biology.   Michael Hingson ** 08:23 What did you do with it? Then when you got that degree? My   Denise Meridith ** 08:27 first job was as a wildlife biologist, believe it or not? The Bureau of Land Management. So that was I got to be the first woman in that agency.   Michael Hingson ** 08:37 Were there a lot of challenges in getting that job? Or were you pretty well accepted? Right from the outset? Or what?   Denise Meridith ** 08:44 There was always going to be challenges. Yeah. Dave, and but essentially, and that was I interviewed earlier today. And it reminded me when you're a senior in college, now, you don't just go online, put in entries, but you would have to write write letters. So people remember that you had to write letters to them and agency companies asking to be considered. And I as a wildlife biologist, there are not a lot of options are state government. Maybe that's not likely because people die in place and the state government openings there.   Michael Hingson ** 09:21 So what was what year was it that you graduated?   Denise Meridith ** 09:25 I was graduated 73.   Michael Hingson ** 09:27 Okay. All right. All right. Yeah. Because I'm thinking of of things like it was much later than that was like 23 years later. Well, it was actually more than that. It was like 26 years. It was like 1999 my fourth guy Doug Linney became ill with glomerular nephritis and the, the emergency vet or actually the specialists that we took her to was a woman in in a veterinarian facility that was mostly women. So, clearly there was a lot of change. But anyway, that   Denise Meridith ** 10:03 Yeah, well, it's I would say it's all women. Now you've made pretty   Michael Hingson ** 10:07 hard, but very much a lot. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's   Denise Meridith ** 10:11 timing is everything. Yeah, that's hardly very few men anymore. I don't sure exactly why. But there are very few men anymore in that field. So I wrote my letters to places that would harm wildlife people. So Fish and Wildlife Service in a Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management. The Park Service and Forest Service both told me they didn't hire women. That was pretty plain. And what's interesting now and I talked to younger people, sort of horrified. People could say that then it wasn't. It wasn't uncommon. It wasn't thought to be different, or rude or discriminatory or anything. They. And so now, you know, I wish I kept the letters. You didn't keep going wasn't anything different. Before, right, and forest service offered me a job as a secretary, they liked my degree from Cornell. They thought I'd make a pretty good secretary. So the Bureau of Land Management is the only one that said, okay, and probably I said, it's a perfect storm. Why I got that particular job. That job had been vacant for two years. They couldn't find anybody   Michael Hingson ** 11:21 to take it. So they figured what the heck, we'll give her a try.   Denise Meridith ** 11:24 Yeah, all right. Gotta have somebody in here sooner or later. So I took that job and which was in Las Vegas, of all things of all places. And it was turned out great with an office, small office 25 people or so in office, the average age was 27. Because nobody wanted to live in Vegas at that time. We had a if you can imagine. People that age in Vegas, we had a great time. We had a great time to that office. And it's a lot of fun. I was one of six wildlife biologists in the state. Because now people have seen all the movies and the shows and everything. But at that time, while kingdom was it, the only show it mentioned, you know, that wildlife Marlon Perkins. Yep. So he was an inspiration to me and everybody who went into the field and at that time, but there weren't many of us. So I had 10 million acres to play with by myself.   Michael Hingson ** 12:26 With a lot of fun and what was it you were to do with those 10 million acres?   Denise Meridith ** 12:30 Wildlife Biology it pretty much studying patterns and populations, identifying ingredient species, we need to do the preserve them. What the big change for me was I went to school in upstate New York. And my first job was in the desert of Nevada. Yes. Completely different wildlife. So I got to learn a lot about a lot of different wildlife. In fact, the main wildlife there was desert tortoises, and my favorite, yeah, they're nice. And pup fish and the old era. That's about it.   Michael Hingson ** 13:09 That's about it. Well, I had desert tortoises as pets growing up. And then we lived in Mission Viejo and California in 1982 through 1989. And my in laws lived, but 2025 miles away in San Clemente. And one day they were outside and a tortoise came walking up their driveway. And they advertise because they wanted to find it. They figured it was so Taurus that belonged to someone and nobody ever claimed it. And I said I would love it. So we named him et turtle because his face was like ET. And he lived with us for for a number of years. And then the gardener left the gate open and he got out but it was fun. He loved cantaloupe. He loved rose petals.   Denise Meridith ** 14:02 Yeah, yeah, they're interested in pets. I had one one time that also got out. And it's something you don't think about, you know, think about you know, you think of dogs running away. You don't think your Taurus is gonna run away but   Michael Hingson ** 14:17 curious. Yeah. Well, it happens Mukunda What do you do, but by the same token, it was fun when he was around with us. And he figured out that we had a screen door in the backyard that went into the house and wouldn't latch but he figured out he could use his front feet and open the door and come in. That's great. And what he liked to do is go live right in front of the refrigerator because the refrigerator was nice and warm and and that caused great consternation with our cat who couldn't figure out what he was so   Denise Meridith ** 14:55 that's good. Well, they're smarter than we think. They are. Yeah, Well, people are asking me today Well, earlier as if you will have a master's degree in public administration, and I said, Yeah, I have a people degree and an animal degree. Yeah. And believe me, the people agree as a lot harder. Oh, yeah. Animals wildlife would do fine on its own. Okay. The reason why we have wildlife biologists is to actually figure out what to do with about the people, much   Michael Hingson ** 15:28 more than the animals. You're right. Exactly. So you became a wildlife biologist? And how long did she do that?   Denise Meridith ** 15:36 I did that for a couple of years there in Vegas. And then what I figured out was that while being from New York, you know, I'm very decisive, or aggressive or assertive, is that biologists don't make decisions. They make recommendations, I figured that out. It was like, I could do a lot more for wildlife being in more decision making capacity. So I switched from wildlife biology to environmental science, because the environmental scientists are the ones that wrote the environmental assessments, and the rules and regs and all of that type of thing. And so I was able to do a lot more for wildlife, from that position than I did from being a bog biologist.   Michael Hingson ** 16:25 Was that also in Las Vegas? Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 16:27 so I did that for two years. And then after that I was on the road I moved at that time, which is different now. Because I assumed government can't afford it. They wanted you to move every three or four years, just like the military. So you did. So that was four years time ago. Again, because still a bit. Some people think the good old days or the bad old days, depending on what side you're on. couldn't really get another job as a first woman. And most of the western areas, they're back east where I was hired in and our job was in Silver Spring, Maryland. So I hopped back after that, I hopped back and forth across the country. Guess where the best opportunities?   Michael Hingson ** 17:18 Were you've been in a number of positions where you're kind of the first or first woman to do it. What were what were some of the others? Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 17:28 every job in the bureau after that pretty much was the first. No, I was the first the somebody but I was deputy for resources and New Mexico, Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was associate state director lesson number two person in California. That was great. I was the head person and eastern region, which covered 31 states, West that bordered on that nice for the Mississippi. And then I was the first in only woman. Personnel call a deputy director in the United States, for the Bureau of Land Management. And Washington, DC during the Clinton Administration. That's pretty much in charge. It's a political visit the directors political position. So the deputy is sort of the one that sort of runs things as us almost a CEO type of Ryan. Oh, and that I had 10,000 employees and billion dollar budget and 200 offices. So that was very exciting.   Michael Hingson ** 18:34 A little bit more expensive to live in DC than in Vegas. And but but I don't know, today, Vegas is getting pretty expensive.   Denise Meridith ** 18:41 Yeah, I guess it's funny because Vegas even then was relatively expensive to other parts of the Southwest. Luckily, I moved to DC, you know, so long ago, and then I kept my house and move away and don't move back. I was in DC a couple of times, luckily kept my house. So it was that the thing with the government. The other reason that government doesn't move you all over the place now is that they will buy your house. And I'm sure they can't afford to do that type of thing anymore. Yeah. If you? Yeah, if you didn't want to sell it, or you couldn't sell it, the government would buy it   Michael Hingson ** 19:16 and move you. Do you still have your house in DC now. Now? Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 19:20 I kept it I'd be very well off. But oh, yeah, I left it. So I moved to LA. Well, it's interesting selling my house in DC I could afford two houses. In Phoenix. I didn't buy two houses. Probably should have done that too. But I how low the price of the housing was here. Yeah. And now since pass COVID Since everybody knows that figured out. It's a wonderful place to live. I think it had the highest rise in prices in the country. Well, Phoenix. This past year   Michael Hingson ** 19:54 gets pretty hot in the summer. Now I live in Victorville. So we're on the high desert weekend. had over 100 in the summer, but you get a lot more hot for longer periods of time than we do. We'll be in the high 90s Low hundreds or so. But Phoenix tends to get hotter.   Denise Meridith ** 20:12 Yeah. Why about saves that has no humidity whatsoever.   Michael Hingson ** 20:15 Right? Most cases where I am pretty much the same thing. Yeah.   Denise Meridith ** 20:20 So here are the ideal temperature is probably 100 100. And Summertime is fine. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 20:27 That's when it gets to 110 115. It's a little bit a little bit different.   Denise Meridith ** 20:32 And we haven't been having much of that. So I guess climate change. We haven't been having as much of that. lately.   Michael Hingson ** 20:38 You did this summer, though, right? This past summer.   Denise Meridith ** 20:41 This summer. Yeah. But it was like one stretch. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 20:47 It did make national news. You're right. But still,   Denise Meridith ** 20:49 it was just like, a week or two. And I will trade that for 11 months and perfect. Navi   Michael Hingson ** 20:56 I hear you.   Denise Meridith ** 20:59 So but yeah, Victorville that was in my my area, you know, and I was I had a California here. So high desert was pretty interesting. It's like two different countries. In Northern California and Southern California.   Michael Hingson ** 21:15 Well, in Southern California, the high desert is different than the Inland Empire somewhat and both different than right on the coast. So So what do you do? It's, it's, it's the way it is, but it was 26 this morning when I woke up. Yeah. Oh, not too bad. And it was high was 59. I was pretty impressed with it. It went up by 33 degrees. So that's pretty cool. Oh,   Denise Meridith ** 21:43 neat sense of the word. Yeah. And we were having a fit here. Because it was a high was like 59 or 68. We're ready to jump out windows here. It was. I don't know. And nothing is here. We complain about it being cold. But we don't have jackets. You know what I mean? We don't have Cokes? We don't have anything that would make it not fairly that bad, right.   Michael Hingson ** 22:12 For a while I lived in the Bay Area. And there were times up in Novato where we could get over 100. But typically, it wasn't too bad. So we didn't have an air conditioner in the summer.   Denise Meridith ** 22:22 Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, I lived in Sacramento. The class difference. Yeah. Yeah, that was hot. But I would tell people, you know, they come visit. And of course, you have to take them to San Francisco. They're coming to visit you. They're really not coming to visit you. So I need to always forewarn them. Okay, San Francisco, it's got to be cool. The same? And still, everybody's surprised and they get the air for Cisco. And freeze.   Michael Hingson ** 22:48 Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Like Mark Twain said, he said this. I spent a what a winter there one week in the summer or something like that. But yeah, well, so how long did you stay with the Bureau of Land Management in   Denise Meridith ** 23:02 29 years, I was with them. Oh, my gosh, yeah. And I left. After I left the DC current administration, when I was had the 200 offices. And even a 200 officers didn't bother me as much as the issue is in DC. I'm a very, like I said, sort of decisive kind of person, I like results. And DC is not designed for that. You know, it's not nobody's fault. It's just not designed to make decisions. So I wanted to go back where you could actually do things, have projects that are finished, etc. So after a couple of years, I moved to Arizona, where I am now. So I've been here for 28 years. And it was great when I moved back here as the state director, and I wound up designating for national monuments. So helping get the Arizona Trail doesn't made it I upgraded all the RV parks, a lot of campgrounds, etc, etc, etc. So I was able to do things. And I love that.   Michael Hingson ** 24:14 And then what did you do? And   Denise Meridith ** 24:16 so when I left Oh, they had an early out, which they don't do that anymore, you but they used to say, Okay, have they like every so many years they would say okay, you can leave if you have based on yours, not your age. So guess what, since I started two weeks out of college, I had a lot of years and no age, so I got to retire super super early in life. And what I did is Denise married a consultant Incorporated, which is a public and community relations firm. It's actually wound up doing a lot of the same things, tourism recreation. Thanks for the outdoors I helped. Also well thanks like I Have the get the stadium built the NFL stadium built here. Several other spring training stadiums designated not just a lot of parks and star help get them designated a lot of things like that. So I did, yeah, pretty similar types of work. Except I'm from the private industry president.   Michael Hingson ** 25:22 So what made you leave BLM and start your own company? Just because of the out the years? Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 25:30 yeah. Hard to pass that up. Or retire at that age. So yeah, got that. And and you know, it's can make up what I used to preach to people, they didn't believe me, because people go, Oh, government, so boring, and bla bla bla bla bla bla, well, it ceases to be boring when you have a pension and health care. Right. So well,   Michael Hingson ** 25:55 I can make it as fun as you want at all. It's all about mental attitude to   Denise Meridith ** 26:00 Yeah. And I was less than working for the Bureau of Land Management, because what you had, it's all scientists. Right? So this geologists, it's science, people doing science, happiest people in the world, you know, so I really enjoyed. I enjoyed them, they were enjoying their work, I enjoyed them. It was just, to me a wonderful opportunity to work with people for that long, who enjoy their work. And it's not too many people who can say that anymore. But it was unusual that why in government with our agency.   Michael Hingson ** 26:38 So you what, what made you start the company, you just wanted to continue doing the same sorts of things. And that was the easiest way to do it. Or, yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 26:47 I probably should have stayed retired now. Now, I've enjoyed what I've done. But essentially, two weeks after retirement, the story was, well, two weeks after retirement. And I'm thinking boy, gee, I can do anything. How does this you know, it's sort of a shock when you're working all the time. And like, when I was in DC, I was on the road 75% of the time, so And Arizona, I travel a lot. Oh, I could do anything. So a friend of mine called and said, Well, why don't we go to the movies, and it was like the middle of the day. And I thought, oh my god, this is good. Go to the movies. So we went to see a movie very bad. Well, I know I shouldn't but and I came back and water was coming out my front door. I've sunburst blah, blah, blah. I spent the next five weeks in a hotel. And so the only thing I can think is that I was lost my mind. Because it had happy hour every night. When I invited somebody else to join, join me and happy hour, and they go, Oh, nice. What is great opening job opened up and I think I had too much wine. This great opening open up but heading up this nonprofit. You should take a look at that. And so I did. Some I retirement didn't last very long. So I ended up that nonprofit. And I've been doing something ever since.   Michael Hingson ** 28:15 Just what was that nonprofit?   Denise Meridith ** 28:19 It was the Arizona Trail Association. You know, they were one of the longest trails in the United States. And it goes from border to border from the northern border, Arizona, New Mexico. And spectacular trail. Because Arizona is beautiful. So it's a very beautiful trail. But they were having problems getting it designated. Because yes, politics and I understand politics. I help them. Actually it was me and John McCain got together and helped get that trail designated. But I'm sort of a restless person. Sorry, I was only there for a year with them. I had my own Disney spirit consultants started anyway. So then I just did a variety of things. I like projects start finished start finish. Until about, you know pretty much on my own. until five years ago, I decided, well, why don't you get a whole group of people who like to do that. And that's when world's best connectors was started. So the current organization that I manage, and what it just made up of a bunch of folks like myself, they all have their own businesses. But we get together and people throw out ideas and we jump on them or not. We're consulting firm. If n were CEO, the CEO, we're not B to B or C it'd be all those things. We're CEO, the CEO, that what we do is help other executives what problems they come in, they need a tech person, they need a HR person, they need whatever come to us. We either have a person like that, or we can get them a person like that. So that's what we've done in the past five years   Michael Hingson ** 30:03 is disease murders consultants still functioning? So you have two companies? Yeah.   Denise Meridith ** 30:10 Well, I actually three, but we want if it gets too complicated, but no, I have a nonprofit to read to kids, us. I'm trying to get parents to read to the kids again, like they did in the old days. But the days for consultants where that comes in is, and really the reason that I met you really, at do a lot of conferencing and whatever. But I do coaching, professional coaching, or people, and particularly for Baby Boomers and Gen X, what I do is help them rediscover their mojo. That's what I call it. And so I think both of those groups pretty much had it made in the beginning of 2020. Yeah, they had figured it out. They were doing well, economy's doing well, it's all kinds of opportunities going. Everything looks fantastic. I as an example, was that in Miami for Super Bowl week with my group, a group from world's best connectors, and we were networking and going to a lot of special events, thinking of future partnerships, future contracts. And two weeks later, I come back COVID Close everything down. So and that happened to a lot of what happened, everybody but baby, I think Baby Boomers and Gen X is crooked, because it was more of a disappointment. He thought you had it figured out you could actually had everything made. And then when President says COVID stuff and pandemics over those people ran back to work. And guess what? Nobody only wants to came back. Nobody else was in the office. Yeah. Nobody else wanted to be in the office   Michael Hingson ** 31:57 and a bunch of them got COVID.   Denise Meridith ** 31:58 Yeah, so it was just, to me devastating for a lot of people in my age group. So what I do is, work with them. You can't go backwards, it's not going to change. It's not going to go back to what it was. What can we do to find your happiness? Again? A place in a position and a life that can make you happy again? Yeah, a lot of people don't notice that. Really? COVID gave them a second chance. Yes. Okay, you're gonna have another opportunity. Maybe they didn't even like that job. You know that they're complaining about low job anyway. So what can we do? They get you something that you do like or no job at all. That's delicate, and people have a hard time transitioning sometimes to retirement. And so I help people over those humps. That's what I tried to help you. So   Michael Hingson ** 32:55 you do a lot of coaching and helping people and so when I should explain to the folks listening out there that Denise and I met through PATA Palooza that people know what PATA Palooza is, we've talked about it a number of times on on unstoppable mindset. And for those who don't know PATA Palooza is a program that meets four times a year and the people who come are either podcasters interested in being podcasters, or want to be interviewed by podcasters. Pretty much. Those are the people that usually come. And Denise and I met there. And here we are.   Denise Meridith ** 33:29 Yeah, we had a, you know, I think a lot in common as far as the way we look at the world, and achieving things and being happy. So I yeah, I was very impressed with what you do what you've overcome. I do a lot of speeches. Well, now it's coming up on Black History Month. So for that Women's History Month back, but I get request, obviously. Because people want to know how, yeah, obviously, all these all these things could have been obstacles, not being a vet, that not, you know, getting certain jobs, they not getting promotions, all of that. You can look at that as an obstacle that it is, or you can figure out a way to overcome that. But   Michael Hingson ** 34:20 you But you made a choice, somewhere in your psyche, that you weren't going to let those kinds of things stop you and that you were going to continue to   Denise Meridith ** 34:28 move on. Exactly. And that's that's the only way to do it. Thanks for not gonna be equal, you know, and that's one thing that's sort of hard to take those true. Baby bonus. Well, what we see is what we see, what we see is what we get. So I if you think about I was a kid when Civil Rights Act was passed, and everybody thought everything was going to change. And it hasn't been something strange, but women can be better Now, you know, overall, they're still allowed to obstacle. So I worked with people, well, I not work with people, I hope to be a role model for people, and how not to give up. And, and I say, essentially, wonder closes, God opens another one to take it.   Michael Hingson ** 35:20 What's hot? What's ironic is so the same thing in a sense with the Americans with Disabilities Act, everybody thought everything was going to change, and it hasn't. Unemployment rates have dropped a little bit. But they're still incredibly high. Internet websites aren't accessible, for the most part. And we're not included in a lot of the conversations when you talk about diversity that doesn't generally include disabilities. So some of us like, like I and I've talked about it on the podcast here talk about inclusion, you either are inclusive, or you're not, there's no middle ground, you either are gonna be or you're not. But at the same time, the thing that we have, and continue to face is not included in a lot of the conversations. So I don't hear anybody talking about a disability history Awareness Month or anything like that, although there is a month dealing with disabilities, but it is not nearly as well discussed and mentioned and talked about, or included as other minorities, even though we're a larger minority than all of them.   Denise Meridith ** 36:24 Wow. And everybody has the potential to be in that group. And   Michael Hingson ** 36:29 everybody has the potential to be in that group. Every well. Well, of course, actually, in, in a technical sense, everybody is a member of that group, I believe that we've misinterpreted the definition of disability, and that disability is a characteristic that everyone has, it manifests in different ways like you can see, and your disability, at least one of your disabilities, is your light dependent, you know, the power goes out, what are you going to do, you gotta go off and try to find a light source. Thomas Edison fixed it mostly, but not totally. And so it still creeps in. So the bottom line is, everybody has a disability. You know, it's something that we, we we really should think more about, but there's a lot of fear. And people know that they can become a person with a physical disability or whatever. And so the fear keeps us from being really included, like we ought to be.   Denise Meridith ** 37:21 And I've always had empathy along those lines, whatever reason why parents whatever reason was, but I, when I became the director, the deputy director of the Bureau, Ada, just pretty much passed. Right. And so I hired a person to, you know, interpret that legislation for us and help people with that legislation. Or did that set off a firestorm? How couldn't you be wasting a position on that? Nobody cares about that, and nobody needs to know that. Anyway, so but I do what I do. Right. So So I went ahead. And in this case, she was a hearing impaired, but as soon as she got there, things changed people. Oh, I have a question. Oh, I don't understand this, oh, how can I do this better? And   Michael Hingson ** 38:19 of course, today, and of course, today, most people rightfully so would not be caught dead saying hearing impaired because people who are deaf or hard of hearing recognize impaired is, is a negative thing. And we're not even cared, you know, the, and that hasn't really translated into blindness, because so many people continue to say visually impaired, and it shouldn't be blind or low vision. Because why are we Why do you equate how much sight you have with whether you're impaired or not? And that's the issue that we're Why do you equate, whether you how much you hear is to whether you're impaired or not. That's the whole thing we have to change and it's just so hard to do, because it's so ingrained in society.   Denise Meridith ** 39:01 Yeah, that'll be GQ. T I A plus. As an example, you know, the it's just the getting across what we need to get credit. It's getting harder, not easier to talk to people about anything. All right. Unfortunately, it's getting harder. So but she went on to be pretty popular pretty, pretty much in demand. But I I'm doing right now, one of the projects that we're working on, and world's best connectors is business education for college athletes. So again, it sort of comes up. Most people when they think about the NCAA is ruling on name image and likeness, nio that kid's gonna get paid for playing. Like a football, man and men and footballs. That's the whole thing. And if you look at this statistic, that's where the money is. That's where it nio money is going, blah, blah, blah, man and football and so my group, we're looking at students overall. And our program is open to any student in any sport in any school. And I want people that want to go to the Olympics, I want Paralympic people, I want LGBTQ T people, I want any athlete. But again, that's different. People aren't saying that they're not thinking that at all. So we're going to be a little different that way. But I always have been different. But I think if anything, those other groups all need it more. Because right now 2% of NCAA athletes in college, become professional athletes. 2% Okay, 98% What are they gonna do afterwards? And, you know, college is not really prepared for them for that. It's no, but just they have different goals. Okay. And I don't begrudge them that they have different goals, different objectives. But what we're doing is teaching them how to create a business run a business. So they have something when they leave college, they leave our program with a business license. So they have something when they leave college, what they do with it after that, we up to them, but at least it gives them a chance and opportunity to be I say something besides a pitcher in a yearbook? Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 41:25 Which is something that certainly makes sense to do.   Denise Meridith ** 41:30 So where it's called Project Nylo. And so I encourage people to look into it. It's pretty simple. It's www dot project. Nylo. And I l.com Pretty simple, but the O is for ownership. And what we do is want to put ownership in the NFL, on the side of the good. Oh, that's just something different. Okay, now, I was gonna say, but you know, the things why I like liked you when I met you. And why I like your program, is there's such a need for educating the public about things. And it's getting harder and harder to do that. On paper. You know, to me, that's the anti intellectual approach that's being taken to so many things. It makes it more difficult. So I appreciate what you're doing.   Michael Hingson ** 42:27 You have you have in your life I'm sure had. Well, you talk a lot about mentoring, and you've been mentored a number of people who are some of the people who have been your mentors?   Denise Meridith ** 42:40 Um, yeah, it's interesting. Obviously, I didn't have many women. I didn't have any women mentors in Bureau, I was it so I became the permanent woman, mentor, and the Bureau of Land Management. But I did have a lot of male mentors. And that's one thing I try to get across to people know not to make stereotypes of people judgments about people you never know. My first mentor and Bureau of Land Management was older Anglo guy, and I say older, we thought he was really old, because he was 55. He's like, 2020 to 21, and whatever. So and he was a sagebrush specialist, right? That was his site. So you wouldn't think, and it was Republican conservative, you could go down the line. And we hit it off perfectly, which you wouldn't think so you can't make judgments about people. And he really helped me in the beginning, because like I said, I dealt with wildlife in New York. And we were in Nevada, though, he taught me a lot of desert, survival skills that I needed the half, and really helped me understand the bureau and it's what it did and how it did. It sounds like that. So Jim Bruner was my first mentor there. But then I had others while I'm away at hasty was the director of California for like, 30 years. He was the bureau director in California. He was awesome. Oh, God said and he would say, I like women better they work harder. Here's a big guy, Marine veteran, you know, tough guy and buzz cut until he died, you know? And so to have someone like that, except you Yeah, you know, promote you as like Kevin a year on pet Pitbull. Right. But it was very helpful. So I've had people like that. JOHN MCCAIN, ARIZONA. So I had mainly just because of the nature of the work I was said, mainly male mentors, mainly Anglo male mentors. So I do Estelle people keep an open mind about things you can learn from everyone. And I've had great support.   Michael Hingson ** 45:05 Was your mom, a mentor to you? Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 45:09 yeah, I talked about that your parents if you're lucky. I'd be the first mentor. So I described my dad and everything that he did. And my mom was community organizer, a very strong, liberated woman, so to speak. And so for both of them, I got a little bit from both of them that helped shape me. And I, and really, they're the ones said, you could do anything? Honestly, you bet. They didn't say that, you know, they were very supportive. The track the track to get to Cornell is no easy track. In New York, it starts my mother figured it out. It pretty much started when I graduated from elementary school. I was valedictorian there. And she knew you had to get into the right Junior High School to get into the right high school to get to Cornell. Okay, she was that far ahead. So I'm thinking, so that's why I integrated the junior high school. And it was all white. I think there was 20 people of color in that whole school. And then I integrated the high school that I went to as well. And yeah, that was no easy thing. But I keep your eye on the prize and what you want out of it, what you got, and then that high school was sort of a feeder type of high school for for now.   Michael Hingson ** 46:40 Here's an off the wall question. Going back to mentors for a second. You mentioned John McCain. How about Cindy McCain?   Denise Meridith ** 46:46 Cindy is wonderful. Yeah, people I don't know, maybe most people outside of Arizona don't realize or the southwest. It was a it was a couple. Yeah. He was very important. And his decision making. And just being an I love them both. There was such a strong couple. And she's carried on she's so she has   Michael Hingson ** 47:17 you know, he was the visible one. Pretty much in the news and all that but she is clearly continue to move. Move forward in is a vibrant force in her own right, which is great.   Denise Meridith ** 47:30 Yeah, and she has I'm gonna approach her about my program, too. But hey, you know, it's Yeah, yeah. And politics in general. You know, I just don't have many I care right now, are Republican and Democrat. I've been independent all my life. So it hasn't mattered, obviously. But, but the just, we need people that have conviction, you know, and make honest decisions, not based on, you know, contributions or anything like that.   Michael Hingson ** 48:05 Yeah, that's really the issue is having true convictions. And we just don't see that much of it. In the world in general, like we should know.   Denise Meridith ** 48:13 And, you know, who knows when we'll get there again. But it's very price people. He people never really knew what he was gonna vote, you know, how he's gonna vote, even though he was a conservative Republican. So you could guess some of it. But he did a lot of environmental work this Yeah, I know, as I was working with him on it, right. So that would shock people. They would not think that would happen. But there were   Michael Hingson ** 48:37 a few decisions he made. I thought were a little bit strange, but you know, but that's okay. You You do what you can, but clearly, he was a man of convictions and, and was was one of the good ones. Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 48:53 he was also effective. And that's one thing. There you go. You know, well, I don't know if we have to leave effective politicians anymore. But he brought a lot of money to the state. He was very obviously supportive of the military. So veterans, he did a lot to help veterans. He did a lot of, to me. Very important things that involve getting money, you have to get money to do good things. And he did. had, you know, did a good job of doing that. But, you know, so a lot of politicians now you don't see them getting money for anyone but themselves in a lot of cases. Yeah. It's pretty sad.   Michael Hingson ** 49:32 Yeah, we don't have the role models that we used to have them true models that you can look up to in terms of ethics and everything else. Yeah.   Denise Meridith ** 49:42 Sandra Day O'Connor, another person we lost. I said another wonderful person. I met her obviously through my stuff with the Bureau of Land Management. But again, you know, people couldn't predict. Yeah, she voted accordingly, you could not predict or assume, you know that she was going to do this or do that. He evaluated every issue that came up and, and, you know, stuck to her guns with it. She was very important. She also what I liked about her is that she rarely promoted education. Right now, Arizona, I don't know, I didn't look this past year are pretty much been number 49 out of 50. States and education. And she was did a lot to try to rectify that by really pushing education. She thought that people choose, right. Don't know enough about government. Yeah, it's not taught anymore. People don't know how government works. How, what is public service? Now that is, I know, Bureau and other federal agencies have a hard time getting anyone anymore. And believe me, we need civil servants. We need public servants. So who are honest, and they're just to do a good job. We need   Michael Hingson ** 51:09 to get leaders and it isn't just civil servants. They need to, to understand and other civil servants we need to grow leaders to write.   Denise Meridith ** 51:21 And I just really, a lot of people been discouraged. Like, even aside, even the science, they can't do science anymore. Right. So scientists are not happy campers as there used to be. Yeah, it's gotten very politicized. Yeah, exactly. So I don't know. But I, my, what I've decided from here on I have a few years left, maybe just a few. But anyway, is to legacy, my legacy, hopefully, would be developing future leaders. So that's what I'm doing. That's why I'm doing like this education program. We're gonna create a whole new generation of business leaders, which will be nice people that in the past, or qualities have been overlooked athletes, people don't think about them, except how fast I can run or how high they can jump. Yeah. And when you think about it, that discipline there that they had to go through to be to where they are charismatic, a lot of them are charismatic leader type people. And, you know, we're missing all of that, by just, you know, throwing them out if they can't run out in the field anymore. Yeah. I'm hoping to give them some alternatives. In turn, they can take that business degree, go back home, hire people in their area, and their community back home with a business degree and have a family business. You know, it's it's multiple, as the effects multiply dramatically, I hope, what they were doing with this program,   Michael Hingson ** 53:00 you mentioned earlier, read to kids tell me a little bit more about that.   Denise Meridith ** 53:04 Yeah, that's, that's my fun project. But I feel one I've been writing since I was 10 years. Well, probably before, but since I wrote my first book when I was 10 years old, right, dreading it, too. I was pretty good artists. But I'm concerned that people aren't. I think reading is the crux of a lot of things. Decision making, you know, rationality, everything, but my angle on it is in the past, parents rented our kids, it was one moment, you know, bedtime stories. One moment, bedtime alone, if your child quietly do something together. Now, it's pretty much an ima ComiCon fan, so not knocking marvel in particular, but now it's, you know, syndicated on another TV, watch Marvel until this time because parents are very busy. I got a lot of different jobs. It's just, to me, that's something that's been lost. And when I read the kids, us the mascot is my dog, my miniature poodle, airy, and he has five books on Amazon. And the adventures of airy are about what he's doing as he grows up so to speak. So   Michael Hingson ** 54:30 every right Harry writes his own books. Yeah,   Denise Meridith ** 54:33 he does a good job. This book sell more than my Yes. So his first haircut our first target went to the doctor right those types of issues, though he helps kids overcome those fears that they might have. But to be the key is there. I'm what I might our model is to read to a kid three to six years old 15 minutes a day. So you take that 15 minutes read in 15 Min. So we have a lot of authors in our group, you can read those books, 15 minutes. And that's just 15 minutes, which doesn't seem long, but it's, you know, face to face. Total attention, working on something together, and it just doesn't happen much anymore. Know what to say. And when we go to book shows or whatever, and type of thing, and so all the people that go to these giant, you know, now they still have a few, I was glad to find out a few giant book fairs going on. And one in Tucson, I guess. 100,000 people go to that one. It's pretty incredible. But everybody that will come up to our booth say, oh, yeah, my mom used to read to me. It's passed along. Yeah, passed along. And these people that are coming up to you are very educated, erudite people, right. So that's what I hope to do. And luckily, I had a RT O'Hagan and I'll give a shout out to him. He, during pandemic, he bought Aires books, and distributed them to nurses and hospitals. So that they could go home and read to their kids. And so you get nice letters. Oh, it's first time. My kid read out loud. Or it's the first time that ghost I hope that nice books that people would get some lessons from them dedicate my talk about? Oh, you didn't know that your kid was afraid of such and such? Yeah. You didn't know the kid was being bullied at school? Or you didn't know these things? It? Yeah. So it could open up a lot of discussions. So it's the region kids got us is that site. And it's just a little thing I do on the side. But I'm hoping it has some impact on parents, grandparents in particular, I thought grandparents were really sort of left out during COVID. You know, they couldn't even see anybody and got separated from their grandkids. My books are various books, obviously, you can get them on Kindle. You can get them on online. And so it's something that you can do now what technology you can do over what we're doing zoom, right. You can read to hear grant kid on the other side of the country through zoom. So that's what I'm hoping. Right now. I appreciate your asking about it. So the little thing I do on the side but reallocates us that's as my heart. It's something that I really like to see happen.   Michael Hingson ** 57:36 So how does the program work? What do you do?   Denise Meridith ** 57:39 What we do is just write books there online. And what we had breach over it, or we'll have starting again this year, is go to schools, you know, go to school, go to libraries. You know, Eric goes, I take Gary. And he goes, and we have, you know, the books there. And parents. Yeah, by the books we read. We have readings for our office from our, you know, our group COMM And I read some of the kids there, and whatever. So it's just getting kids excited about reading again. And parents like it too.   Michael Hingson ** 58:16 Alright, so I get to that is that is really cool. What books have you written?   Denise Meridith ** 58:20 I just have to have my own. But anyway, so he has five, but I have   Michael Hingson ** 58:26 He's got four paws though. So he's got a porter, right?   58:30 That's true thoughts, while chillin and a C h i l l i n what no G is really covers my career from being born in Brooklyn, I guess, up into my career through the Bureau of Land Management. So it's funny when you write something like that, and you call it an autobiography, because when you're young, you don't think you're gonna live that long. And then it was like, Gee, wow, I guess I had some more living to do I should write something else. So the other book is the sequel to that and it's called the year roof rat ate my dishwasher. Which people go I'd say what Okay. Roof rats are I don't know that their I guess their data. Arizona. I don't know. Anyway, we have roof rats here. A lot of people have different kinds of pests than their areas but we have roof rats, and they eat there. They have big teeth. And not like normal rats. They have big teeth. They climb trees and they eat through pipes. They eat through all kinds of things. So literally, the story opens so that book the first story is about the My dishwasher stopped working. And I had the guy come to repair it and he opened stuff up but he like jumps back and scrapes I go whoa. And he goes look at a pipe. So the rat should eaten through the PCV pipe. And that's why my dishwasher what's not working. And so what I wanted to do with this book is it's very much about Arizona. So it's an Arizona Survival Guide is what I call it. Arizona is a very particular place with very unique problems like roof rats. And so I talk about as a business person, how to survive here in Arizona, what kinds of things to consider and look out for. And I tried to tell people, it's a great place to live. People know that already. But there are some things that are different here that you have to look out for Scorpio, roof rats, rattle steaks, black nose, yeah, 115 degree temperatures now one ban. But I tried to keep it very upbeat. And I also tried to acknowledge people here in Arizona that are doing very positive things like McCain, I mentioned in there, people who, because Arizona doesn't get any recognition really has a very strange reputation outside of Arizona. And I wanted to get across that is very normal place. With it's a purple state that much into that, but it's we have people all kinds and all religions and all people think there are people of color hair for some reason, because it sort of looks that way if you walk through parts of Scottsdale, but it's gonna be majority minority state a couple of years. So there are plenty of people of color here. And it's just a wonderful place to live. So my second book while it's out, it's about me and people. I never hear what they've accomplished. It's also i My love you but who? Arizona.   Michael Hingson ** 1:01:51 So do you see desert tortoises these days?   1:01:56 I hear are Phoenix not anymore? Because it's so built up? Yeah. But the thing is, Phoenix is also spread out, believe it or not, it's the biggest city now geographically in the country. surpassed LA. So now it's the biggest Yeah. And so around the edges, people live around the edges. So they see tortoises, but they also see coyotes and rattlesnakes. So I, you know, I had my years as a wildlife biologist, I don't need that anymore.   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:29 Well, if people want to reach out and contact you, how do they do that? Okay.   1:02:34 Pretty simple. You could get my website that's about me is Denise. Meridith.   Michael Hingson ** 1:02:41 Can you spell that, please? Yeah, I   Denise Meridith ** 1:02:43 was about to do that. Oh, great. Yeah, that's people fill it in correctly. So thats D e n i s e m e r i d i t h.com. Meridith is normally spelt with two E's, so I don't get much junk mail. But it's denisemeridith.com is my website. And you can sort of go from there links you to all things, world's best connectors is the wbcs.com. Again, and my ComiCon routine, but we're the WBCs that's what we pretend to be. But it's t h e w b c s.com. And that's the other site they can go to. And I really welcome people to go in and read to kids.us if you want to see airy, and hear about airy, and get some kids books, but I really want to encourage people to read to their children and read to their grandchildren. It's like a lot of stars, Michael. It's getting to be a lost art. And if   Michael Hingson ** 1:03:43 people go to our our show notes, and so on. You have some gifts that you're giving away. Yes,   Denise Meridith ** 1:03:49 yes, I have. It's called the we're talking about mentors, right. So it's called a mentors almanac. One of the gifts that I'm giving away in which you can, and what it is is 365 tips on how to be a great leader. And so I have a sort of a mantra every day that you can use, that you can use in helping you mentor other people, and also hopefully help yourself at the same time. And then people can call me and when they go to my site, they can get the phone number there too. And set up a call with me about coaching. Again, I have masterminds. I'm starting a mastermind here, probably the end of the month, so call me about that. And I also do personal coaching private coaching. And while I emphasize Gen X and baby boomers I you know, really executive coach for anyone. It's just those groups are pretty in need. Right now of that. I get it kids through my events, like world's best connectors through my events with the educational program. So I'm going to be helping kids. I'm not discriminating against younger people. I'm going to be helping them. But I coach, Baby Boomers and Gen X primarily. Cool.   Michael Hingson ** 1:05:10 Well, again, I want to thank you for being here. This has been a lot of fun. Can you believe it? We've been doing it over an hour now, which   Denise Meridith ** 1:05:18 I appreciate it. It's, well, I went I'm once I met you, I know this is gonna be great. I think we're gonna stay in touch and do a   Michael Hingson ** 1:05:26 lot of good things. Well, I sincerely hope so and definitely want to do that. So I want to thank you again. And thanks for listening wherever you are, we really appreciate it. Whether you're listening or watching on YouTube or some other podcast source would really appreciate it. If you give us a five star rating we value your ratings very highly. And of course, needless to say, Love five star rating. So please do that. Love your opinions, any thoughts that you have about what we did today and we appreciate your opinions. If you know of anyone who ought to be a guest on unstoppable mindset. Denise, you as well. Please let us know we're always looking for additional guests, people who we can have on to tell their stories and talk about what they'd like to talk about. If you wish to reach out to me you can do so by emailing me at Michael m i c h a e l h i, at accessiBe A C C E S S I B e.com. You can also go to our podcast webpage, www dot Michael hingson.com/podcast. And Michael Hingson is m i c h a e l h i n g s o n So www dot Michael hingson.com/podcasts. And again, love those ratings really appreciate it. And we definitely want to hear from you and get your thoughts. So, one last time, Denise, I want to thank you for being here and taking so much time to be with us.   Denise Meridith ** 1:06:57 Thank you, Michael and I wish you continued success.   **Michael Hingson ** 1:07:03 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I

UX Research Methods Mapping In research, we explore our questions with research methods. We might use qualitative methods, like in-depth interviews, or quantitative methods, like surveys. Preferably, we will use a few methods and layer the insights from them together, but it is very important to pick the right research method for the questions you're exploring. Cue the UX Research Methods Map. How to connect with AgileDad: - [website] https://www.agiledad.com/ - [instagram] https://www.instagram.com/agile_coach/ - [facebook] https://www.facebook.com/RealAgileDad/ - [Linkedin] https://www.linkedin.com/in/leehenson/

Today's poker strategy is a primer on playing suited connectors in low stakes cash games. All links mentioned in the show are at the bottom of this ⬇️ Introduction * What are suited connectors? Two cards in sequential order of the same suit. 7❤️6❤️ etc * Why are suited connectors so important? They add deception to our preflop raising range, they have playability across multiple streets, they are easy to get away from when they miss, and they can stack opponents with great implied odds. * What are the different ways to play suited connectors? Primarily you should be aggressive with suited connectors from late positions. Avoid them from early position. You can also play them passively in certain situations preflop , mainly from the button. Playing suited connectors preflop * When should you play suited connectors preflop? You want to mainly play suited connectors from late position and for a raise. You can do this over one or two limpers and use your position to win postflop a lot when called. You can also use them to 3b later position pfr when they have a wider range. This allows you take it down preflop, flop big hands postflop , or use your position to win a portion of the time. * How should you play suited connectors against different types of opponents? Let's assume you are on the button with 7❤️6❤️. Vs a raise by a nit you should just call if stacks are deep enough to reward you when you hit against their very condensed range of hands. Raising them preflop would be bad because they open so tight they are never folding and will likely be coming over the top. Vs a standard thinking player who has a more standard opening range you can 3b this spot when they are opening from layer positions at the table like LJ, HJ, CO etc Vs a LAG you can mix calls or 3b. Preferably 3b when stacks are deep and you can punish their wide range on many flops even when you miss. * What are some common mistakes to avoid when playing suited connectors preflop? Always calling and going super multi-way. You open yourself to reverse implied odds against better straights. Not 3b when the circumstances are right. Not raising with them preflop. Trying to play them too much from EP like utg and utg1 etc Playing suited connectors postflop * How should you play suited connectors after the flop? You should be aggressive with big draws especially when the board doesn't favor your opponent. Many times you can just win when they cbet on bad boards for their range and take it down. On boards like this hands as weak as gutshots and top pair with back doors etc are good. In boards where your opponent has a nutted range it doesn't make much sense to raise as you never win with a fold. Raise and playyour best draws very aggressively. Pairs and flush draws. Straight and flush draws. Etc. * What are some common mistakes to avoid when playing suited connectors postflop? Always calling with draws. Especially when multi-way. This allows better draws to come along too. Conclusion * Tips for improving your suited connector play Raise and 3b more preflop Be more aggressive postflop Be aggressive with strong draws Be aggressive on boards bad for Villian Fans of the Pod get ad free, fluff free episode every single Sunday: https://lowlimitcashgames.com Save 10% when you choose the annual option Targeted Low Stakes poker training with hundreds of hours of audio and video teaching exclusively how to crush 1/2 and 1/3 no limit: https://lowlimitcashgames.com Save 10% when you choose the annual option. Hate AK? How to Play AK Master Class For only $49 get this 88 minute training video of me showing you exactly how to play AK, particularly when out of position. https://www.patreon.com/lowlim... The best way to ramp your game up and know how to play any hand in any spot by drilling it over and over again. This is the only product I endorses. Make sure to use my code for a 25% discount at checkout: https://advancedpokertraining.... Use code: lowlimit Want more details on everything that is offered with the training package on Patreon? I go into great detail about it all here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/...

I'm sure you've been hearing a lot about egg quality if you're searching the internet and trying to figure out how you can improve your fertility health.   In this episode, I'm going to be talking about what egg quality is and four different ways that you can improve it. So egg quality refers to not only the chromosomal health, but it also corresponds to something called mitochondrial health.    I will be covering: What contributes to egg quality Ways you can improve egg quality Why the digestive system is so important Research that shows certain exercises that improve mitochondrial function My fertility book “The Way of Fertility” is going to launch soon and I would love to have you on the launch team!!! You'll get to read it first! The application is more formality! https://www.michelleoravitz.com/TWOF-launch-team-application Be sure to tune in!   For more information about Michelle, visit www.michelleoravitz.com   The Wholesome FertilityFacebook group is where you can find free resources and support:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/   Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus/           Transcript:   [00:00:00] So I'm sure you've been hearing a lot about egg quality, especially if you're searching the internet and trying to figure out how you can improve your fertility health. And you've probably even seen the book, It Starts With The Egg, which I highly recommend if you haven't already read it, it has amazing, amazing information. And today I'm going to be talking about what egg quality is and four different ways that you can improve it.   So egg quality refers to how chromosomally normal an egg is. And it also, besides just the chromosomes, it also corresponds to something called mitochondrial health. And mitochondria is It's an organelle in the cell, so it's basically a part of a cell, and it's considered the powerhouse that produces something called ATP, and ATP are basically energy units. And through ATP and the energy, if you [00:01:00] want to compare it to Chinese medicine speak, it really comes down to qi.   It's like life force vitality, basically, and how do we produce it? I will talk about that and how to really protect it and support it. So. So Chinese medicine, we talk a lot about qi and a lot about the energy and a lot of the ways that we do support qi. One of the ways is through nutrition. So there's many different ways to really support it. And it's found that mitochondrial health declines with age, as well as oxidative stress. So, you'll find a lot of times oxidative stress increases with age.   So, a lot of the anti aging market focuses antioxidants. So antioxidants basically means that it's protecting the cells from oxidative stress. And the mitochondria really is at the heart of it. And the mitochondria can be [00:02:00] protected through these antioxidants. So the antioxidants can protect the mitochondria. And then it provides more energy units in the cells. And then when that is the case, it will help the cells to develop more correctly. So it'll give the energy basically to the cells to fix themselves. So even eggs that end up being really good quality, they're not necessarily always perfect. It's just that if it has a lot of energy And it is able to basically correct itself.   So that's why there's always this kind of controversy with checking or testing embryos because sometimes they can start out not being 100 percent normal. But part of the process that it goes through is that as it grows, it can normalize itself. And in order to do that, it really has to have robust energy to do so. So in a sense, really, technically speaking, you can actually. [00:03:00] Decrease or reverse your biological age through choices that you make with your nutrition, with your lifestyle, with the movements you choose, the exercise you have, and your mindset. Lowering stress. I mean, there's many different things that you can do to improve your overall energy and I'm going to be talking a little bit about chi and mitochondria because it's kind of like one in the same. It's just described in a different way. So there are definitely things that you can do to support it. So I'm going to be covering four and number one. Okay. It all starts with nutrition. Nutrition is really important when it comes to Chinese medicine. The spleen and the stomach have a very important role and they play a role in the digestive system.   And each organ or organ pair has a direction. And in Chinese medicine, the spleen and stomach are in the center. [00:04:00] So a lot of different ones will be like east, west, south, north. And The spleen and stomach are the center, and that is actually very symbolic because they're really the center and the heart of everything as far as post Heaven qi, which is basically the energy that we have and create after we're born.   The pre Heaven qi, and I've talked about this before in past episodes, is all about genetics. However, now in modern day science, we know that there's something called epigenetics and our choices and what we do with our food choices and our lifestyle choices can impact how our genes express themselves. So the same way that it impacts how our genes express itself, it also impacts the genetic protection of our cells.   Our cells are just tiny little versions of ourselves. And a lot of those make up who we are. [00:05:00] So it really comes down to our cellular expression. So if we can do that for our own cells, of course, the important cell is our egg cell. But it also for men is the sperm cell. So a lot of what I'm saying for women. does actually also apply to men with sperm health.   So nutrition is very, very important when it comes to fertility health and protecting our egg health and supporting it because number one, it is really the source of where we get our chi. It's the source of where a woman builds blood and both of those are really important when it comes to fertility health because reproductive health requires a lot of energy.   And the proof to it is that egg cells have hundreds of thousands of more mitochondria than regular cells. Regular cells can have a couple of thousand, [00:06:00] depending on the importance of the cells. So the heart cells a little bit more than a regular cell in the body, but an egg cell has the most. We're talking really, really a lot of mitochondria because it's important for it to be equipped with a ton of energy in order to produce new life. And this is why I always talk about The energy that a person has is really, really important. And when a person's energy stores are depleted, it can impact fertility health because the body's not going to prioritize reproduction.   It's going to prioritize survival. And I say this over and over again, because it is such an important point to keep in mind. So when it comes to eating, it's important to really consider number one, your gut health and eating more antioxidants and. I'm kind of throwing in an extra one, the gut health, the gut health really is a reflection of your spleen and stomach condition and it's important because everything that I'm going to be talking about really, as far as the [00:07:00] nutrition goes, depends on your gut health.   So if the gut health is optimal, it's able to really transform the food into energy. So number one, Eat more antioxidants. So antioxidant rich foods are super important. So I'm going to give you a couple of examples of antioxidant rich foods. So something you probably have heard before, a lot of people talk about it, but things like berries are probably higher on the antioxidant level. When it comes to fruits, so things like strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, you know, all those dark colors and pigments in the food come from antioxidants, so berries are really important, but then also ones that are not as common, things like acai, tea, tea, Has been shown actually in CCRM.   They have their own acai Supplement and they did a study to show that it improves egg quality. So that's really [00:08:00] huge and that's something that you can include in your diet and then foods rich in beta Carotene such as carrots and sweet potatoes are really important and dark leafy greens so you'll see like dark leafy greens such as spinach And chards, and also beets are really important. Now, keep in mind too, beets are root vegetables, and what does that mean? They grow in the earth, and earth is an element that is connected to the spleen and stomach. Earth also has spore based probiotics. And that's actually where spore based probiotics come from, comes from the soil.   So that's really, really important if you want to help nourish that energy of digestion. So beets are really important and they also give a groundedness to your energetic being. So you really do feel more grounded. When it comes to Ayurvedic medicine, they always talk about the different doshas that [00:09:00] people have, doshas or body types, and they also have elements.   And the dosha that is vata, which is a little bit more air, it doesn't have as much grounding benefits from something like beats because they are getting more earth energy. So earth energy is always going to support your spleen and stomach, which is always going to support the wellbeing of your digestive system.   Another thing that has tremendous amounts of antioxidants is dark chocolate. So you can get raw cacao that is not processed. And that doesn't have added sugar or dairy, and you can mix it in and make certain foods that are healthier that don't have sugar. So there are ways to get it without having to get the sugar, which you'll typically find in like chocolate bars or more chocolate.  Then something that is often skipped is animal proteins or animal sources of antioxidants. So wild salmon is very [00:10:00] rich in antioxidants. And beef liver as well, which is high in vitamin A and also is a great source of CoQ10. So getting that antioxidant rich diet is really going to support egg health and It's going to support the mitochondria.    So, number two, is really exercise, but I'm going to focus a little bit more on yoga and just a little note about exercise and movement. Yes, exercise and movement is super important when it comes to getting your energy and the chi and also supporting mitochondrial function. But it's important to note that too much exercise can have an adverse effect on your mitochondria and too little movement.   It also has an adverse effect. So it's really important to keep it balanced. And one of the best ways to do that is through yoga. I'm a big fan of yoga. Yoga has been around for thousands of years. It also incorporates breath work, which is important to support [00:11:00] ATP production, but I'm going to talk about that in a bit.   And yoga. Also helps calm the nervous system, which also helps our bodies rest deeper so that they're able to create more energy. And there's been studies that show that yoga can improve mitochondrial health and not just that, but it also has been shown to reduce autoimmune inflammatory arthritis. So if it's able to reduce inflammation through arthritis, think about What else it can do? It could probably do that with a lot of other things and especially The fact that it is able to help with the autoimmune specifically inflammatory arthritis and what I've seen is that when you're working on the nervous system, you can also work on the immune system and regulating your nervous system is important to support your immune system as well and how it functions because our [00:12:00] bodies really have these signals and those signals do speak to our bodies or our cells And our cells communication, when it's confused between our bodies versus something else outside of us, that's information. It's our cells information and how it processes it and how it translates it.   So if our nervous system, which is really a communication system in our body is regulated it would really impact your immune system as well and how your body processes information and what it perceives as either friendly or unfriendly. And when it gets regulated, it makes sense that yoga would help with that as well and calm it down. Because since it calms the nervous system, I find it fascinating that it's also calming an inflammatory arthritis that is derived from an autoimmune condition. So [00:13:00] this can also be due to the fact that when you're doing yoga, you're also breathing because a lot of times you inhale to certain poses and exhale to certain poses.    So yoga is a great way to truly balance the body, but it also can help with mitochondrial health, which reflects in egg quality. So number three ATP which is the energy units in mitochondria are actually produced, with the help of oxygen. So breath work can also help. And I highly recommend something called the breath of fire. And the breath of fire is very difficult to explain through the podcast. So what you could do is you can actually just YouTube, look in YouTube and see, because then you'll have a lot of people describing what it is, but it's a diaphragmatical breath that you do for a long time.   You can do it [00:14:00] from either a minute to five minutes. Some yogis do it for a very long time. And what it does is it helps your digestive system. It's called skull shining because it also creates clarity in the mind. And it helps in the area of the abdomen, which is, well, the location of the eggs in the uterus. So digestive system and the pelvis, they're very similar, very close together. And they also work really well together. So they're important. And a lot of times when I have people come in for acupuncture, I treat both.    When I treat the abdomen, I put points for both digestive system, as well as reproductive health in the pelvic area. If you don't want to do breath of fire necessarily, that's okay. You don't have to necessarily do a specific type of pranayama. All you have to do just to make a difference is to breathe really deeply in and out consciously. And you can do that for a few minutes where you're breathing all the [00:15:00] way in. Holding your breath and then breathing all the way out slowly. And you can count, count it to anywhere from four seconds to eight seconds, or as much as you're able to, to slow down your breath, but also to increase its capacity. So you're kind of increasing the lungs capacity to support oxygenation.   What I also suggest is to do this outside if you can, to really do this with. Outdoor air that makes a big difference. There's a quality in outdoor air that cannot be beat and you're getting like fresh oxygen Preferably if that outdoor air is in a place where there's lots of green And trees and you're getting quality oxygen and finally number four is sunlight, specifically early morning sunlight. So sunlight is amazing for many different reasons, but number one, it improves vitamin D levels, which are super important for mitochondrial [00:16:00] activity and function and deficiency of vitamin D has been linked to unexplained infertility, as well as recurrent miscarriages, which would make sense that. To be deficient in vitamin D is probably impacting the quality of the egg and the sperm. So this is good for both men and women. Really everything that I'm mentioning here can also be applied to sperm health as well.   So, sunlight not only improves vitamin D, but it also increases the production of cellular melatonin. So, melatonin, often we hear as the sleep hormone, however, it also works as an incredible antioxidant, very potent in the cells. And that antioxidant in the cells has been shown to help with Improved mitochondrial function, And it's also found in the follicular fluid, which is produced by the ovarian and granulosa cells. [00:17:00] And melatonin seems to play an important role in the regulation of follicular development and ovarian function. So obviously plays a very important role , when it comes to egg quality.   So that concludes the four top ways that you can improve your egg quality and I really wanted to, in this episode, explain to you really what it is, what egg quality is as best as possible in a way that you can understand that it really comes down to anti aging. And so the same things that people would use for anti aging could benefit egg quality.   And obviously those are just four, but there's so many other things that you can do to improve your egg quality. So I hope you enjoyed this episode and if you want more information and perhaps get some more free fertility content. You could visit my Instagram, which I'm very active there.   And my handle is at thewholesomelotusfertility. And if you [00:18:00] do like these episodes and are enjoying this, podcast. I would really love it if you can rate and review this podcast on Apple music. And if you think somebody can benefit from it, please do share.   So thank you so much for tuning in today, and I hope you have a beautiful day.

Today's episode we welcome CEO & Founder of Ladies Executive Golf Society (LEGS), Jillian Johnson to the show. LEGS is a women's empowerment businsess that launced in 2018 with the initiative to use golf as a platform to "build business, forge friendships, and connect on a deeper level," (www.ladiesexecutivegolfsociety.com)."We are seeking to change the paradigm not only on the golf course, but in the business world as well.   Rather than fitting into tradition, we felt that women were craving a different experience of golf, designed specifically for women. We are on a mission to create a welcoming, inclusive, female-friendly platform for women to grow professionally and personally through the game of golf." (www.ladiesexectutivegolfsociety.com)Jillian is going to tell us all about LEGS, why and how she started it, and the vision of LEGS and how it can be the connection of the future of women in golf to their begining. Emily Atkinson, a member of LEGS Jacksonville, also joins the show to talk about her involvement with LEGS and her upcoming event, LEGS Goes Red with Coach Mo, and how since 2004, the American Heart Association's “Go Red for Women” initiative has addressed the awareness and clinical care gaps of cardiovascular disease. LEGS, American Heart, Playing Through Performance, & Coach Mo at The Golf Academy of St. Johns are teaming up for this event to raise awareness about women's health and women's golf businesses, and have a blast doing it with fun competitions and prizes from Taylormade Golf as well as a raffle full of local goodies from local women's businesses like F45 Bartram Park, Casey Hayes with Golden Effervescence, The Golf Academy at St. Johns, LEGS, and more!To get involved as a local women's business, attend the event, or donate to our American Heart campain, please see the links below:LEGS GOES RED w/ COACH MO registration: https://ladiesexecutivegolfsociety.com/event-5614386If you are unable to attend, you can still support LEGS Member Emily Atkinson and AHA's “Go Red for Women” initiative by donating here: https://www2.heart.org/site/TR/GoRedforWomen/GSA-GreaterSoutheastAffiliate?pg=team&fr_id=10473&team_id=837497#loadedLEGS Goes Red w/ Coach Mo: Women's Golf Launch & Awareness DayDate: Saturday, March 23rdTime: 12:30pm-2:30pmLocation: The Golf Academy at St. John'sAttire: Comfortable golf or workout attire – Preferably red!Come learn, support and network with several local women's and girl's golf organizations for the benefit of the American Heart Association!Please join us for a women's golf launch and heart disease awareness event featuring LEGS, Coach Mo, Playing Through Performance, and Welcome2Golf! We're bringing together communities of women and girls to raise awareness about how they can empower and learn from each other's initiatives with the goal of amplifying each cause's impact through the platform of golf.All proceeds will benefit the American Heart Association's (AHA) “Go Red for Women” Women of Impact Campaign. Cardiovascular disease is the number one killer of women. Since 2004, the AHA's “Go Red for Women” initiative has addressed the awareness and clinical care gaps of cardiovascular disease.Admission includes a complimentary golf clinic, competitions, raffles, refreshments, educational sessions, and more!Tickets: $30 per person.@ladiesexecutivegolfsociety@legsgolfjax@emilyatkinson10@playingthroughperformanceContact Coach Mo@coachmogolfprowww.coachmogolfpro.commgesualdi@stjohnsgolf.comThe Golf Academy at St. Johns Located at St. Johns Golf & CC in St. Augustine/St. Johns, FL@thegolfacademy_st.johnswww.stjohnsgolf.com

We're back with two episodes smashed into one! So if you have a spare two hours… First up, our friend Coleman Hughes returns for a one-on-one conversation with Kmele about his brand-new book The End of Race Politics, which you should buy immediately. Also: Coleman was on Bill Maher's show on Friday, most of which is available on YouTube.After an hour with Coleman, the full team is back for a few very uncomfortable conversations about a few very uncomfortable topics. Just listen and you'll understand…The Fifth Column (A Podcast) is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Preferably paid, but…well take either…. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

A conversation with Heather Terry, CEO and founder of GoodSam, about how an exit from a chocolate company led to a female-led consumer goods company, how education of consumers is key, networks vs. chains, multi-crop buying, and much more.Every CEO and high-ranking manager working in food companies should be obligated to visit the farms and farmers they source from. So many decisions in the board rooms would be taken differently. With Heather we dig into a story of a company about how an exit in a chocolate company led to a female led consumer good company focussing on chocolate, coffee, nuts and dried fruits. Preferably sourced from the same farmers paying them 2 to 3 times as much, marketed and sold throughout the US in Whole Foods and online and only being 2 years old. How is that possible? and why according to Heather is this the only way forward?---------------------------------------------------Join our Gumroad community, discover the tiers and benefits on www.gumroad.com/investinginregenag. Support our work:Share itGive a 5-star ratingBuy us a coffee… or a meal! www.Ko-fi.com/regenerativeagriculture----------------------------------------------------More about this episode on https://investinginregenerativeagriculture.com/heather-terry.Find our video course on https://investinginregenerativeagriculture.com/course.----------------------------------------------------The above references an opinion and is for information and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be investment advice. Seek a duly licensed professional for investment advice.Use KOEN10 for 10% off! https://rfsi-forum.com/2024-rfsi-europe/Support the showFeedback, ideas, suggestions? - Twitter @KoenvanSeijen - Get in touch www.investinginregenerativeagriculture.comJoin our newsletter on www.eepurl.com/cxU33P! Support the showThanks for listening and sharing!

In direct contrast to current leader Joe Biden, Donald Trump, the former US president, has emphasized his distinct stance on fortifying the Texan border against Mexico. Highlighting these differences at a high-profile meeting in Las Vegas, Nevada, Trump promised instead of restraining Texas, applicative support would be his course of action. "My tactic as the president would deviate from attempting to curb Texas; I'd rather fortify its endeavours," Trump voiced his conviction to an enthusiastic crowd at the Big League Dreams sports park, as Newsmax conveyed. "Instead of combatting with border states, I would pool in every aspect of the presidential power and authority available to shield America from this distressing intrusion happening as we speak," was another powerful statement he projected during the broadcasted event. Trump projected the commitment that if he were to return to office, he would allocate all necessary military and policing resources to secure unresolved border areas. We have managed to construct more than 500 miles of the border barrier," was his assertion. "Preferably, understanding the opposing perspective and knowing of their intentions is primary. So far, no one has shed light on why this unclosed divide benefits our nation." "As regards the Hispanic democrats' following, we're now faring better than the Democratic Party,” Trump added. "We're adamant about terminating this intrusion." Trump continued that his tenure began with the border situation being unstable. However, his vast efforts to stabilize it left no room for campaigning based on it in 2020.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello everyone. ⛓️ Let's get hype! This should be played at high volume. Preferably in a residential area. Join me on a 1 hour journey down a spiraling path of some of the best hard industrial techno and schranz out there. This mix goes hard and contains all the donks. I hope you enjoy my mix! Please Comment, Like and Share if you enjoy my music content! Thanks for listening! linktr.ee/martyrDJ with links to all of my sites and socials.

The Third Part in our Follow the Non-Linear 90s Trilogy The best way to educate young people in their pursuit of the German language is to watch Franks Potente run. And run some more. Preferably with cool red hair. That's about all that one host remembers from his high school foreign language class while the other host is still airing grievances about his father's lack of an opinion on THE MATRIX... but that's for next episode. Speaking of which subscribe to our Patreon as we read our 2024 book club on the 25th anniversary of the films of 1999 as documented by BEST. MOVIE. YEAR. EVER. by Brian Raftery. This month has featured three of the films from that book and how the 90s loved telling stories out of chronological order. That should be very comforting to any of our regular listeners who try to follow the thread that is our movie grumbling. Watching RUN LOLA RUN now is just exhausting. Enjoy! Catch up on last year's Movie Book Club from Quentin Tarantino's CINEMA SPECULATION! Threads/Twitter/Instagram/Facebook: @trilogyintheory Letterboxd: @projectingfilm & @webistrying Artwork by: @nasketchs Find out more at https://trilogyintheory.pinecast.co This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

In Episode 451 of For All You Kids Out There, Jeffrey and Jarrett discuss the future of the Mets 2024 IFA class, the future of the Angels writ large, the future home of Athletics baseball, and the future of Kazuchika Okada.

We'll be talking about how SDFKSDFS works. You'll also figure out what goes TZZ SHOOM FWOOSH. In this very chill episode of Vik the Random. You'll can find out what we're talking about what we're talking about in two ways: 1. Listening to this Episode 2. Listening to the end of the Previous Episode. (Preferably both) Sources: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PKFQciUWBU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDiHTK9nwYw For More Discovery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ciyq9v9RSo4 Actual Publishing Date: January 19 2024

One of the biggest frustrations a lot of eCommerce brands struggle with is the constant need to produce creative content.  Typically, photography, graphic design and copywriting is not a core skill set, and so it becomes a time-consuming chore frequently procrastinated over. But if you find yourself always on the back foot, trying to produce some content for social media, or for a major promotion, you'll know the stress this causes! Unfortunately, this kind of scenario leads to content that's just “thrown up for the sake of having something there”, rather than content that's strategically planned and intentional.  And this leads to sub-standard results from ad campaigns, email campaigns, and any other marketing efforts. With the way digital platforms now work, we all need to be producing and sharing new creative content on a much more regular basis. The way algorithms work requires fresh creative content in order to engage viewers and produce the best results. Meaning, in order to convert sales at the highest, most profitable rate possible, we all need to be producing more new content, more frequently. And this requires a systematic approach to content creation in order to achieve your growth goals. In this podcast episode, I explain how I approach this and give you a step-by-step guide to building a content creation system in your own business, designed to help you achieve your revenue targets. (Preferably without as much hustle and overwhelm!) Let's dive in… For the full show notes visit https://www.catherinelangman.com/episode-209/ Links mentioned in this episode: If you'd like help to achieve your goals in 2024 I invite you to have a chat to find out how we can make that happen together.   https://productpreneurmarketing.com/lets-talk/   Don't miss my FREE 2024 eCommerce Marketing Playbook Discover my most important insights about what's working right now AND steal my top secret marketing strategies that generated over $6million in revenue in 2023!   Download your free copy now (available for a limited time) https://www.catherinelangman.com/playbook Next, be sure to head to our Rockstar Productpreneur community to ask your #askcatherine questions! I can't wait to hear them.

If a person forgot to switch off his car lights before Shabbat, may he ask a gentile to turn off the lights? Rav Shemuel Pinchasi ruled that the Halacha in such a case depends on the potential consequences of leaving the lights turned on throughout Shabbat. If the lights would drain the battery completely and cause the person considerable inconvenience, such as by having it towed to a garage, then he may ask a gentile to switch off the lights to spare him this inconvenience. If, however, leaving the lights on would only weaken the battery, but not drain it completely, such that no particular inconvenience would result, then one should not ask a gentile to switch off the lights. If it snowed during Shabbat, may one ask a gentile to shovel the snow in front of his home? Rav Pinchasi ruled that one may ask a gentile to remove the snow from in front of his home on Shabbat, due to (among other reasons) the potential danger the presence of snow and ice causes to pedestrians. There is even greater room for leniency, he adds, in locales where fines are imposed upon homeowners who do not remove the snow from the sidewalk near their homes. Preferably, however, one should ask the gentile not to throw the snow a distance of four Amot (6-8 feet) at any one time; he should instead try to move each shovel-full of snow a shorter distance away from the sidewalk. This is the position taken as well in the work "Mishneh Halachot" (vol. 4, chapter 45). Summary: If a person forgot to switch off his car lights before Shabbat, and leaving the lights on throughout Shabbat would cause him considerable inconvenience, he may ask a gentile to switch off the lights. If snow fell on Shabbat, it is permissible to ask a gentile to remove the snow from the sidewalk in front of one's home.

The Master of Ceremony (MC) goes to the microphone to get the programme underway but the audience are simply oblivious, caught up in their own riveting conversations. The situation is much worse at receptions where alcohol is already flowing and the people down the back are generating a roar, a positive din, that drowns out the speakers. Apart from bona fide members of Imperial Families, everyone is fair game in the “let's ignore the speaker” stakes. Cabinet Ministers, eminent speakers, famous personalities all struggle to get the attention of the crowd. When it is our turn, what can we humble beings do about this? Here are some ideas that will shut down the noisy rabble and provide a proper platform for the speaker to be heard. Make sure to turn off the background music well before you are ready to start. Surprisingly, this is often forgotten by the organisers. Speakers should not try to compete with irritating white noise in the background, so check this will be done before you are due to launch forth. Preferably always have someone else introduce you. Their job is to quiet the room in preparation for your presentation. This doesn't always go to plan though, because it can be a lucky draw on who introduces you. Usually, they are not skilled speakers themselves and so they may do a lame job at best. If you are in the MC role yourself, about to introduce the programme speaker, avoid the charisma by-pass problem of no presence in the room. I recently saw a giant of a man, fulsomely mustachioed, boasting a hulking frame, draw up to the microphone and in a tiny faint voice try and call the assembled masses to order. He had absolutely no success, so even an imposing physical presence is no guarantee to cut through the clatter. On the other hand, if you worry about speaking behind high podiums and appearing to your audience as a stylish coiffure just peaking above the water line, always arrive early and have the event staff provide a small raised dais behind the podium for you.   We always want the audience to easily see our face. Even better, dismiss the podium altogether, because now we can use our body language to maximum effect. If you are using a laptop on the podium, turn it to the side, so that you can see the screen and stand facing the audience, so there are no barriers between you. The technology should be at our command and not commanding us. As noted, voice projection is key for cutting through crowd noise. Today's microphone technology is very good, so you don't need to have a stentorian voice to be heard. However, placing the microphone too close to your mouth creates dissonance, making it harder to hear you. Mysteriously, some speakers have the opposite problem and hold the microphone so low that there is almost no sound being heard. These errors are easily avoided if you just hold the microphone about a hand's spread in front of your mouth and speak across the top of the microphone mesh. When you face a challenging noisy crowd, make sure to hit the first few words very hard. To get things going, start with a strong “Ladies and Gentleman” with power invested into the first word and remember to draw that first word out slightly (Ladieeeeees). Elongate it for effect but don't overdo it . Now include a small pause before a strong finish to the phrase. This will generally shut the room down and gather everyone's focus on the speaker. If it doesn't produce that “hear a pin drop” silence, then go again with strong voicing of the next phrase, “May I have your attention please”. Again, add a pause and let peer pressure quiet your audience. If it is still noisy, repeat this phrase once more and do not start until you have total silence. I have seen speakers using assorted cutlery to bang on a glass, to create a chime that signals it is time to “shut up everyone and listen”. It works, however, one word of warning - don't speak while pounding. Let the chime effect work for you and when the room pressure builds to a point where you have achieved silence, put the glass down, pause and then start. Why pause? This builds anticipation and curiosity, both of which work in our favour when trying to get attention to what we are saying. Using pauses during your talk is also powerful for focusing everyone on the message you are delivering Similarly, you can also use powerful music to drown out the crowd's babble and make them listen to what is coming next. Just a short piece will do, as it signals action is about to commence and people will switch their gaze to you at the front of the room. After the music ends, again use a slight pause and then start. We can't be effective communicators if people are not listening, so our first task is to quiet the room. Using these techniques will produce the right break in the chaos for your message to be heard. Some final advice, don't practice on your audience. Spend time rehearsing your talk, so that you are confident and comfortable that you can command the room from the very start.  Action steps Turn off the BGM well before you start Have someone else quiet the room for you Don't allow the podium to dominate you Practice with the microphones, so that you know the correct distance and angle of elevation to use Hit the first word hard and elongate it slightly Uses pauses – they add power to the speaker If you strike a glass to produce a crowd-quieting chime, add a pause and then speak A short burst of music can silence an audience and clear the way for you to start speaking    

Throughout the eight days of Hanukah, one is required to add the section of Al Ha'nisim in every Amida prayer. Al Ha'nisim is added in the Modim section of the Amida, before the words "Ve'al Kulam." There is some discussion as to whether one should recite "Al Ha'nisim" or "Ve'al Ha'nisim." According to Halacha, it is more proper to recite "Ve'al Ha'nisim," with the conjunction "Ve" ("and"), since this sentence continues the text of Modim. In the Modim section, we declare that we thank Hashem for all the wondrous acts of kindness which He performs for us, and we then add that we thank Him as well for the miracles He performed at the time of Hashmona'im. It is therefore proper to recite "Ve'al Ha'nisim," rather than "Al Ha'nisim." If a person forgot to recite Al Ha'nisim, and he realized his mistake before he said Hashem's Name in the concluding Beracha ("Baruch Ata Hashem Ha'tob Shimcha…"), then he should recite at that point, "Modim Anahnu Lach Al Ha'nisim…" and then continue as usual. If he did not realize his mistake until after he recited Hashem's Name, then he simply continues with the Amida. He should not recite Al Ha'nisim after the Beracha, before "Sim Shalom," as this would constitute an unwarranted interruption in the Amida. Preferably, one who forgot to add Al Ha'nisim should recite, "Modim Anahnu Lach Al Ha'nisim…" at the very end of the Amida, before reciting "Oseh Shalom." If a person forgot to recite Al Ha'nisim during the Amida, and then, mistakenly thinking that he must repeat the Amida, began reciting the Amida again until he realized that he should not repeat the Amida, he must stop immediately. Any subsequent Beracha that he recites is a Beracha Le'batala (Beracha recited in vain), and he must therefore stop wherever he is and not even complete the Beracha which he currently recites. If a person mistakenly recited Al Ha'nisim in the section of Reseh, in the place where Ya'aleh Ve'yabo is recited on Rosh Hodesh and festivals, and he realizes his mistake during the Modim section, then he should simply recite Al Ha'nisim as usual in Modim. His prayer is valid despite the fact that he made an unwarranted interruption by reciting Al Ha'nisim in Reseh. A person should not skip Al Ha'nisim for the purpose of completing the Amida in time to recite Nakdishach or Kaddish with the congregation. One might have thought that since the Amida is valid even if one forgot to add Al Ha'nisim, it is preferable to skip the prayer in order to be able to join the congregation for Nakdishach or Kaddish. In truth, however, one should recite Al Ha'nisim as the Sages enacted, even at the expense of joining in the recitation of Nakdishach or Kaddish. Summary: One must add Al Ha'nisim in the Modim section of every Amida prayer recited throughout the eight days of Hanukah. If one forgot to add Al Ha'nisim and realized his mistake only after reciting Hashem's Name in the concluding Beracha of Modim, he simply continues reciting the Amida, and does not repeat the prayer. Preferably, he should add Al Ha'nisim before "Oseh Shalom" at the very end of the Amida.

A crisis hits and the scaffolding around your life seems to shake, but you have a Mental Health Grab Bag, and so you know you can get through this.   An emergency hits, or maybe it's just seeing certain family members. Something gets added to your stress load, and the brain spirals down and out of control. There might also be times you have to go to a hospital for various medical needs. Maybe you need some respite time. What would you take? How would prepare for the potential emergency? I would suggest you need an Emergency Mental Health Grab Bag. We are all supposed to have a grab bag prepared for the unpredictable events such as earthquakes, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, and other extreme events, but what would you put into your bag? Mental Health Grab Bag items Many of the items in my grab bag are what I would call ‘grounding items'. They help me ground the self into the here and now. Items that are practical, tangible and tactile. They help centre me. This is my list and you will see that many of the items have links to other articles I have written. S.T.A.N. plan This is a plan you have prepared beforehand in case of emergency. A S.T.A.N. plan is Simple to understand by all, Timed for review not achievement, Aimed at something of deep importance, and Negotiated with significant others. Bible verses, Quotes, Affirmations Have those little verses and sentences easily accessible so that you can say them to yourself. Preferably have them written out on paper. Something tangible and tactile helps the brain to ground itself. Ladder out of your dark hole.  The ladder is a small eBook to help you out of our hole. Get a copy here. Thinking Compass.  A thinking compass is something that will help you keep pointing due North. It's a little tool with lots of verses, quotes, affirmations. Learn more about it here. Read this further here Sign up for my weekly email full of help for your Mental Health, Faith and Spiritual Formation. FOLLOW ME! Email me: barry@turningthepage.co.nz Website: https://turningthepage.co.nz/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/turningthepage1atatime Twitter: https://twitter.com/barrypearman Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barry_pearman/ Podcast https://turningthepage.co.nz/podcast-listen-mental-health/ Support Turning the Page with a Donation https://turningthepage.co.nz/give/

During the first half-hour after the Hanukah candles are lit, they may not be used for other purposes than publicizing the Hanukah miracle. Clearly, then, one may not light a cigarette, for example, from the Hanukah candles. Strictly speaking, it is permissible to make personal use of the candles after they have burned for a half-hour. Preferably, however, one should avoid making personal use of the candles at any point, out of respect for the Misva. The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 672) rules that one may light one of the Hanukah candles directly from another Hanukah candle. This means that after one lit the first candle, for example, he may extend the wick of that candle to the adjacent candle to light it. Although it is forbidden to use the Hanukah candles, as they are designated exclusively for the Misva, one may use a candle to light another candle, since this is for the purpose of the Misva. And although only the first candle is needed to fulfill the strict obligation, and the others are lit only for the sake of "Hiddur" (glorifying the Misva), nevertheless, all the candles relate to the Misva, and thus lighting any of the candles is considered a Misva. It is therefore permissible to light any of the Hanukah candles from any of the other Hanukah candles. However, this applies only to the candles lit for the Misva. If the Shamosh is extinguished, one may not relight it from one of the Hanukah candles, as he would then be using a candle of Misva for a non-Misva purpose, since the Shamosh is not part of the Misva. Furthermore, this Halacha applies only to lighting a candle for the first time. If, however, a Hanukah candle was lit and subsequently extinguished, one may not relight it from one of the other Hanukah candles. This is the ruling of the Magen Abraham (Rabbi Abraham Gombiner, Poland, 1637-1683), who explains that Halacha follows the view of "Kabeta En Zakuk Lah" – meaning, if a Hanukah candle is extinguished, then one does not have to rekindle it. As long as the candle was lit with enough oil and under conditions that ordinarily allow it to burn for at least a half-hour, one does not have to rekindle it if it happens to be extinguished. Accordingly, the Magen Abraham notes, if a candle is extinguished, relighting it does not fulfill a Misva, and therefore another Hanukah candle may not be used for this purpose. One would have to use the Shamosh to relight the candle, or strike a match to make a new flame with which to rekindle the extinguished flame. Summary: It is forbidden to use the Hanukah candles for any purpose during the first half-hour after they are lit, and, preferably, even after the first half-hour. One may, however, use a Hanukah candle to light one of the other Hanukah candles (but not the Shamosh). If a Hanukah candle was already lit and subsequently extinguished, one may not relight it from another Hanukah candle.

One each of the eight evenings of Hanukah, we light Hanukah candles in the synagogue for the purpose of "Pirsumeh Nisa" – publicizing the miracle. After Minha, before Arbit, somebody lights the candles in the synagogue and recites all the Berachot ("Le'hadlik," "She'asa Nissim," and, on the first night, "She'hehiyanu"). Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that the candles should be lit after Minha wherever a Minyan has assembled, and not only in the synagogue. Thus, if a Minyan for Minha is held in a person's office, Hanukah candles should be lit – with the recitation of the Berachot – after Minha. Since the candles are lit for the purpose of publicizing the Hanukah miracle, this custom does not apply only to a synagogue; it applies anywhere a group has gathered. By the same token, then, it would be appropriate to light Hanukah candles at any large gathering held during the evening on Hanukah, such as a wedding or other celebration or community function. Hacham Ovadia Yosef ruled that the Berachot may be recited over the candle lighting, though he adds that it is preferable to recite Arbit after candle lighting, so that the gathering will resemble the synagogue setting. Since a large gathering has assembled, and the goal of publicizing the miracle is achieved through the candle lighting, the Berachot may be recited, especially considering the likelihood that many people in attendance had not yet lit the Hanukah candles. Summary: Just as Hanukah candles are lit with the Berachot in the synagogue between Minha and Arbit during Hanukah, similarly, candles should be lit with the Berachot wherever people gather for Minha during Hanukah, even an office. Likewise, candles should be lit at any large gathering in the evening during Hanukah, such as weddings or other functions, and the Berachot may be recited. Preferably, Arbit should be recited immediately after the candle lighting.

Don't call back right away. Never buy better gifts for her. Dress better than her on random days. Take frequent leaves of absence. Preferably international. Drag your feet about introducing her to your friends and family. Never give her spare keys to your place. Don't live together. Subtly acknowledge other girls flirting with you. Don't ask questions about her. Get drunk without her. Cancel dates. Show flashes of anger. Occasionally be emotionally distant. Muse wistfully about past lovers. Never take her on dinner dates before you've had sex with her. Never agree to meet her friends before you've had sex with her. Never spend more than the price of a few high alcohol content drinks on her before you've had sex with her. Never do her a favor before you've had sex with her. Always try to get her to do you a favor before you've had sex with her. COMPLIANCE TESTS. These are the male version of shit tests. Never introduce her to anyone you know before you've had sex with her, unless its former hot girlfriends or friends who happen to be hot girls. When you receive texts and phone calls in her company, never tell her who they're from. Password protect EVERYTHING. Do not have a Facebook profile. If you do, it is filled with pics of you and an assortment of hot chicks – No exceptions. On the morning of a first or second date with her, send her this cryptic text message: “Change of plans.” When at her place, eat all her food, leave the seat up, change her TV channels, and torture her cat. Act like it's your second home. Do all of the above and you will be a god to her. When she sees you as a god, she is: – less likely to stray. – more likely to do anal. – less likely to bitch and moan. – more likely to wear lingerie every day of the week. – less likely to dump or divorce you. – more likely to forgive your cheating. – less likely to make demands of you. – more likely to cater to your needs. Does that sound good to you?

The Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909), in Parashat Balak, discusses the case of a non-Jew who deliberately touches a Jew's wine for the purpose of rendering it forbidden. For example, if a non-Jew becomes angry at a Jew, and in his fury he shakes the Jew's bottle of wine so that it would become forbidden for the Jew, does the bottle of wine in fact become forbidden? The Ben Ish Hai cites different views on this issue. He notes that whereas the Rambam (Rabbi Moshe Maimonides, Spain-Egypt, 1135-1204) ruled that the wine becomes forbidden in such a case, others ruled that the wine is permissible, because the Sages did not forbid wine touched by a non-Jew under these circumstances. As for the final Halacha, the Ben Ish Hai writes that in situations of "Hefsed Meruba" – where a substantial financial loss is at stake, such as when dealing with expensive wine or a large quantity of wine – then the wine is certainly permissible and may be used for drinking or any other form of benefit. If, however, the financial loss at stake is not so substantial, then it is preferable not to use the wine. Even in such a case, the Ben Ish Hai emphasizes, the wine is permissible according to the strict Halacha and one may rely on the lenient position. He notes that this applies even if we do not know with absolute certainty that the gentile specifically intended to render the wine forbidden, but we can reasonably assume that this was his intent in light of the circumstances surrounding the incident. In the next passage, the Ben Ish Hai cites a particularly stringent ruling of Rabbi Menahem Hababli forbidding wine that a non-Jew looked upon, but did not touch. According to this view, one must ensure to keep his wine hidden or covered so that no non-Jew can look at it. Although there are people who follow this custom, according to the strict Halacha wine that a non-Jew looked at is permissible. Refraining from such wine constitutes a "Midat Hasidut" – a measure of special piety – and not an actual Halachic requirement. The Ben Ish Hai notes that Moslems, who worship the single Creator, are not considered idolaters, and there is thus no concern whatsoever in using wine that a Moslem has looked at, not even on the level of "Midat Hasidut." Although Halacha does not follow the view of Rabbi Menahem Hababli, his ruling demonstrates the severity of this prohibition against non-Jewish wine. If some authorities go so far as to forbid wine that was looked at by a non-Jew, then even if we do not accept this position, it emphasizes just how careful we must be when it comes to non-Jewish wine. Summary: If a gentile touched kosher wine with the specific intent to make it forbidden, the wine is permissible, as long as we can reasonably assume that this was his intent. Preferably, however, one should not use the wine, unless a substantial financial loss is at stake. Some people have the practice as a measure of special piety to ensure that a gentile does not even look at their wine, as there is one opinion that forbids wine that a non-Jew looked upon. This practice is not required according to the strict Halacha, but it demonstrates the severity of the prohibition against non-Jewish wine.

Guest: Farmer Angus Angus Mackintosh and Donovan Will Director Pro Veg The Big Debate: The future health of the Planet depends on eating less meat; or preferably no meat at all?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, I'm diving into 14 reasons why people fail to prepare themselves for a successful attempt at a promotion. For the purposes of this episode, I'm talking specifically about internal promotions – although many, if not all, of these strategies will apply if you are seeking a higher position with a new company. 1.    Signing on with a company that can't offer you a promotion. This is an upfront mistake I saw frequently during my time in higher education – people would ask in the interview about the opportunity for promotion, and there just wasn't any. This is not to say that you don't want to work there – perhaps it is the right opportunity for you now, and you know you will need to look outside your organization to seek a higher-level job. Just be sure you like your reasons for joining an organization that can't offer you a promotion. Also – does the company have a practice of promoting from within? Or is this going to be a series of frustrations, where outside people (or those from other departments) are put in more senior roles ahead of you? 2.    Not communicating your desire for a promotion.You may assume your boss knows you want a promotion, but you know what they say about “assume.” Your boss may think you are content with your current role – you want to let her know of your ambition. Be careful here – you don't want your boss to think you want her job unless she has upward mobility, as well. 3.    Not understanding the new role. We all know of people who wanted a promotion for the additional money in their paycheck – not because they were passionate about, or really understood, the new role. Make sure you thoroughly understand the responsibilities, skills, and qualifications required for the position – and give real thought to whether this is a role you actually want to take on. 4.    Lack of skill development. My favorite strategy for this is to ASK. Find out what skills and experience will be needed, then ask your boss or the hiring manager (if the job is in another department) how you currently measure up. The goal here is to find out exactly what you need to learn and develop so your candidacy is a no-brainer. 5.    Not building a strong track record. One of the very best strategies for getting a promotion is consistently delivering exceptional results in your current role. Never think of your current job as just a steppingstone to bigger and better things. 6.    Not self-promoting. There's a huge difference between being the braggart who takes credit for others' work and being an effective self-promoter. It's important to communicate your achievements and contributions effectively – including relevant ones outside of work. 7.    Ignoring company culture.Everything from your dress, grooming, punctuality, spoken and written communication, and professionalism will be taken into consideration. Make sure you align with the company's values, mission, and culture. 8.    Not seeking feedback. Not only does constructive criticism help you make improvements that will increase your chances for promotion, but you are also showing evidence of your ability to hear those things – and make changes based on feedback. 9.    Seeking a promotion at the wrong time. Increasingly, I am seeing companies indicate a timeframe for internal candidates to apply for promotions, so take that information as gospel. In general, be mindful of the broader context, such as the company's financial stability or changes in leadership that would directly impact the new role. 10.Not networking.Building relationships with colleagues, superiors, and mentors can provide valuable support and recommendations, which can significantly improve your chances of promotion. 11.Neglecting soft skills.Qualities like leadership, communication, teamwork, and adaptability can be deciding factors in promotions – and can often be as important as your technical skills, if not even more so. 12.Overlooking the competition. You may have competition within your organization for the same promotion. It is important to assess your peers and their qualifications so you can develop a strategy to set yourself apart. 13.Demanding rather than earning. For most of us, we begin doing the work before we get the new title or salary increase. Promotions should be earned, so demonstrate your value to the company rather than expecting a promotion just because of time in the company, educational credentials, or other qualifications. 14.Inadequate preparation for interviews.Don't assume the interview doesn't matter, either because it's been hinted that you have it “in the bag” or because you assume you know what they will ask. Absolutely, the interview is viewed differently with internal candidates, but your goal is to blow them away in the interview so they can't say no to you.  DIY vs. DFY DIYThe DIY I want to recommend here is getting a mentor. Preferably, someone in your organization who knows you and the other players – and who will be honest with you about what he sees as your areas for development. From there – consume! Read books, watch Ted Talks, listen to podcasts…whatever you can consume to help with your areas for development. Finally – practice! Try your new learning on at work and ask for feedback from people who will be honest with you – and who aren't also trying to get the same promotion.  DFYThe most obvious assistance you could get to prepare yourself for a promotion is a career coach. If you choose to go this route, it is so important to pinpoint what kind of help you need. There are coaches who specialize in improving your communication skills, your leadership skills, your professional appearance…you name it. One you've identified the help you need, reach out to 2 or 3 possible coaches for a consult, sometimes called a discovery call. This will give you a sense of your connection with the coach, their methods and processes, and their package options. 

Dr. Greg Kalemkerian joins us on the ASCO Guideline Podcast to discuss the newest ASCO – Ontario Health (Cancer Care Ontario) Guideline on systemic therapy for small-cell lung cancer (SCLC). He reviews the evidence-based recommendations from the panel, including guidance on systemic therapy options for resected, limited-stage, extensive-stage, and relapsed SCLC, and NSCLC with an EGFR mutation that has transformed to SCLC, recommendations for older adults with poor performance status, the role of biomarkers, and the use of myeloid supportive agents. Dr. Kalemkerian also highlights future research for systemic therapy options for SCLC, and the impact of guidelines on both clinicians and patients with SCLC. Read the full guideline, “Systemic Therapy for SCLC: ASCO-OH (CCO) Guideline” at www.asco.org/thoracic-cancer-guidelines." TRANSCRIPT This guideline, clinical tools, and resources are available at http://www.asco.org/thoracic-cancer-guidelines. Read the full text of the guideline and review authors' disclosures of potential conflicts of interest disclosures in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, https://ascopubs.org/doi/10.1200/JCO.23.01435  Brittany Harvey: Hello and welcome to the ASCO Guidelines podcast, one of ASCO's podcasts delivering timely information to keep you up to date on the latest changes, challenges, and advances in oncology. You can find all the shows, including this one, at asco.org/podcasts.   My name is Brittany Harvey, and today I'm interviewing Dr. Greg Kalemkerian from the University of Michigan, co-chair on “Systemic Therapy for SCLC: American Society of Clinical Oncology – Ontario Health Guideline.” Thank you for being here, Dr. Kalemkerian.  Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: Thank you. Brittany Harvey: Before we discuss this guideline, I'd like to note that ASCO takes great care in the development of its guidelines and ensuring that the ASCO conflict of interest policy is followed for each guideline. The disclosures of potential conflicts of interest for the guideline panel, including Dr. Kalemkerian, who has joined us here today, are available online with the publication of the guideline in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, which is linked in the show notes.  So then, to move into what we're here today to discuss, Dr. Kalemkerian, can you provide an overview of both the scope and the purpose of this guideline? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: So, the guideline is meant to update the systemic treatment for small-cell lung cancer. There have been several changes in the last couple of years. For the first time in quite a few decades, we actually have some newer drugs that have demonstrated benefits in this disease. So we're really focusing on the systemic therapy. And ASCO does endorse the ASTRO guidelines for the radiotherapy involved in patients with small-cell lung cancer. Brittany Harvey: Great. That's great to hear that there's new systemic therapy options for patients with small-cell lung cancer.  So then I'd like to review the key recommendations of this guideline. This guideline reviews eight clinical questions in total, so we can go through the key points of the recommendations for each question. So let's start with what is recommended for adjuvant systemic therapy in patients with resected small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: So, to start with, only fewer than 5% of people have what would be considered resectable small-cell lung cancer, and that's stage I small-cell lung cancer. So tumors less than 5 cm in size without any lymph node involvement, either hilar or mediastinal lymph node involvement. So purely the very early stages, which are rare in small-cell. And if patients undergo surgical resection for such tumors, the recommendation afterward is to provide adjuvant chemotherapy with four cycles of either cis-or carboplatin plus etoposide in order to try and improve longer-term survival for those patients.  The other part of the recommendation is we do recommend that treatment be started within eight weeks of surgery. There is little data on timing in small-cell lung cancer, but that's derived from extrapolating from non-small cell lung cancer as well. Brittany Harvey: Understood. I appreciate you reviewing those recommendations for resectable small-cell lung cancer.  So then, moving along, what does the panel recommend for patients with limited-stage small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: So, the treatment with limited-stage small cell lung cancer unfortunately has not changed in quite some time. We recommend that patients receive four cycles of either cisplatinum or carboplatin and etoposide concurrently with radiotherapy. Preferably the radiotherapy should be given early and concurrently with the chemotherapy, though we do not recommend that people wait for the radiation to get started in order to start the chemotherapy. So we do recommend that the chemotherapy get started as soon as possible and then the radiation can be added in on the second cycle of chemotherapy. Brittany Harvey: Then to follow that up, what is recommended for patients with extensive stage small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: So, extensive stage small-cell lung cancer now is probably the most straightforward of the portions of this. Based on the data from two trials thus far, the IMpower 133 trial and the CASPIAN trial, we now recommend chemotherapy with immunotherapy. The chemotherapy should be cisplatinor carboplatin plus etoposide along with concurrently either atezolizumab or durvalumab as the immunotherapy for four cycles of the combined chemo-immunotherapy followed by maintenance with the immunotherapy drug of choice. With regard to the choice of either cisplatin or carboplatin, meta-analysis has demonstrated that there is no significant difference between the two and our belief is that carboplatin is likely the more reasonable drug in the palliative treatment situation based on its better non-hematologic toxicities. Brittany Harvey: Appreciate you sharing those recommendations and some of the rationale behind those.  So then moving along, what options are available for patients with relapsed small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: So relapsed small-cell lung cancer gets a little more potentially complicated. One of the main drivers of outcome in patients with relapsed small cell lung cancer is the time since they completed their initial chemotherapy. Patients who have had a longer time since chemotherapy do better and have better responses to subsequent therapy. For patients who relapse with a short interval within 90 days or three months of completion of prior chemotherapy, our recommendation is that they be treated with single-agent chemotherapy. There are two drugs that are currently FDA approved for use in relapsed small cell lung cancer, topotecan and lurbinectedin, and either one of those is the preferred agent as a single-agent treatment in this scenario. For people with a longer chemotherapy-free interval, so beyond the 90 days or three months, one could either use combination chemotherapy, so reinitiation or re-induction with the regimen such as carboplatin and etoposide, or one could use single-agent chemotherapy with the preferred agents being topotecan or lurbinectedin again. The use of combination chemotherapy has been shown to improve response rates in this situation over topotecan alone. However, we have not been able to demonstrate that there is a significant improvement in overall survival. So one has to look at the individual patient and make some judgment on whether you think that the added potential toxicity of combination chemotherapy is beneficial for that individual.  For people who have progression of disease while they are on maintenance therapy with immunotherapy for extensive stage small-cell lung cancer, we do not recommend continuation of the immunotherapy. So if people progress while they're on the immunotherapy, even if they're nine months out on that, then treatment with second-line chemotherapy, either with the combination agent or with single agents, would be what we would recommend, and not continuing the immunotherapy. If patients had previously been treated for limited-stage small-cell lung cancer where immunotherapy is not part of the initial treatment at this time, and they relapse, say, six months or nine months out from their initial chemotherapy and radiation therapy treatment, then it would be reasonable to perhaps initiate carboplatin etoposide and one of the immunotherapy agents as appropriate treatment, because that patient is immunotherapy naive.  However, the single-agent immunotherapy does not have a role in the treatment of patients with relapsed small-cell lung cancer.  Brittany Harvey: Understood. It sounds like some of the treatment options are individualized to the specific patient then.  So the next question also addresses specific groups of patients. So what did the panel recommend for older adults with small cell lung cancer or for those with poor performance status? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: Approximately half of people who have small-cell lung cancer are over the age of 70 years old, so it is a disease of older smokers. Many of these people have comorbidities that can limit our ability to use standard treatments. Many of these individuals also have poor performance status because the disease is an aggressive disease that causes a lot of problems for people. So the issue of older individuals and people of poor performance status is something that we run into on a regular basis in treating people with small-cell lung cancer.  For patients with limited-stage small-cell lung cancer who are older and have a performance status of 0 to 2, it is very reasonable to utilize standard treatment with standard chemo and radiotherapy with curative intent. For people with limited-stage small-cell lung cancer who have a performance status of 3 or 4, and this would include people who might be in an ICU with an obstructive airway, then it is reasonable to initiate chemotherapy in order to try and shrink the cancer down and improve their situation. Small-cell lung cancer is a disease that is very sensitive to chemotherapy initial treatment, so many of these people will have shrinkage of tumor and improvement of their symptoms. If the poor performance status is due to the small-cell lung cancer, it has potential to get better. So we do recommend for people at limited-stage small-cell lung cancer and a poor performance status that is felt to be due to the disease, the cancer, then it is reasonable to initiate treatment with chemotherapy. And depending on the person's response and recovery and improvement in their performance status, then one could add radiotherapy later on or do it sequentially with the definitive radiotherapy for the limited-stage small-cell lung cancer.  For older individuals with extensive stage small cell lung cancer who have a performance status of 0-2, it is very reasonable to utilize the standard chemotherapy and immunotherapy as we outlined previously in treating that. For individuals who have a poorer performance status, so performance status 3 or 4, one really needs to individualize the situation. If the poor performance status is due to the cancer, then again, it would be reasonable to attempt chemotherapy in an effort to try and shrink the cancer. There is no data on the use of chemo plus immunotherapy in this patient population. But the use of standard chemotherapy, obviously, in the older individuals preferring carboplatin over cisplatinum with etoposide would be a reasonable option, taking into account abnormalities in organ function that may require dose adjustments or reductions. Because small-cell lung cancer is a disease that is quite sensitive and responds well to  chemotherapy, then one can individualize in those situations for patients with poor performance status to see if they can improve their overall situation and have some period of time of optimized quality of life. Clearly, it is a very individualized decision-making whether or not to treat these patients. That requires clearly the patient's input as well, as a primary driver of what is done.  Brittany Harvey: Absolutely. That nuance is helpful for patient-clinician shared decision-making, depending on the factors that you mentioned.  So then, switching to the next topic that the expert panel addressed, what does the panel recommend for patients with non-small cell lung cancer with an EGFR mutation that has then transformed to small-cell lung cancer?  Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: The EGFR mutant non-small cell lung cancer transformation to small-cell lung cancer is relatively rare. I think in the real world, this probably is occurring in 2%-3% of people with EGFR mutant non-small cell lung cancer, but we do see it. Now, these patients are initially being treated with EGFR inhibitor therapy for their mutant non-small cell lung cancer and then they develop a more aggressive progression of disease. It is important to note that when people progress in that situation, it is important to get a biopsy in order to see whether or not transformation has occurred and whether or not there are any other new driver mutations that might be targetable. If the patient has a small cell lung cancer transformation, then the recommendation is to treat them as we treat patients with small cell lung cancer with chemotherapy consisting of platinum and etoposide for four to six cycles, as we usually do. It does not appear that there is a role for immunotherapy in this situation, though we clearly have a paucity of data on these patients. So we do not yet have any trials that have looked at the management of this population. We do have several series that have presented these individuals and what their outcomes are with treatment. And their outcomes are very similar to people with de novo small-cell lung cancer. So not a very good situation, but we do recommend that they be treated with standard chemotherapy, platinum plus etoposide.  Another question that arises is do you continue with the targeted therapy with the EGFR inhibitor. And the honest answer is we don't know. We don't have data on that. We do know from case reports, the series, and from personal experiences, that some people, in fact, I think many people, if not most of these individuals, have a mix of both EGFR mutant adenocarcinoma and small-cell lung cancer at the time that they transform. So not every tumor in their body is transforming, so that EGFR mutant tumor is still present in their body. So even though the small-cell lung cancer component, because it's progressing, is clearly not responsive to the EGFR inhibitor any longer, the adenocarcinoma component most likely is still sensitive to the EGFR inhibitor. So it is not unreasonable to continue with the EGFR-targeted therapy along with the small cell lung cancer-directed chemotherapy. Even though we don't have any strong data supporting one way or the other. Brittany Harvey: I appreciate that guidance, even with the dearth of data in this relatively rare scenario.  So then we've talked a bit about individualized treatment, and often in that conversation, biomarkers come up. So what does the guideline say regarding the role of biomarkers for patients with small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: This is pretty straightforward. Thus far, in people with de novo small-cell lung cancer - so we're not talking about the transformed patients from EGFR mutant, we're talking about people who present with small-cell lung cancer - we have no evidence that molecular diagnostic testing would help guide treatment or improve patient outcomes at this time. So we do not support obtaining molecular diagnostic testing for the routine care of patients with de novo small-cell lung cancer. I would love to talk for the next half hour about what's coming down the pipeline in small-cell lung cancer with regard to identifying subsets of patients and trying to identify the vulnerabilities within those subsets of patients that may lead to better-targeted therapy based on molecular diagnostics, but in the current environment, there is no role for molecular diagnostics.  Brittany Harvey: Understood. We'll look for that in future guideline updates instead, then.  So then the last clinical question that the guideline addressed - what myeloid supportive options may be offered for patients with small cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: So this has to be couched initially with whether or not one thinks that myeloid suppressive agents are necessary in the treatment of patients with small-cell lung cancer. So in extensive-stage disease with the use of chemotherapy, say, carboplatin and etoposide, the majority of patients likely don't require myeloid supportive agents. However, if one believes that the patient, because of their own individual characteristics, or in a patient who has already developed myelosuppressive problems, then one could either utilize trilaciclib, which was FDA-approved a couple of years ago and was shown to improve the blood counts in people with small cell lung cancer treatment, or one could utilize G-CSF. So either trilaciclib or G-CSF could be utilized to support the patient's bone marrow. In patients who have limited-stage disease, for many years, we have recommended against using G-CSF in combination with chemotherapy and radiotherapy due to concerns for increasing toxicities, including thrombocytopenia. Recent data suggests that this may not necessarily be a hard and fast rule and that if one feels that the patient requires or would benefit from some myeloid support, then G-CSF may be offered to patients undergoing chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I do not think that the standard patient that we see who is starting on treatment requires such support, but some subsets of patients or patients who have already proven that they're getting into trouble with their counts, G-CSF could be utilized in this situation.  So with regard to this recommendation, overall, it's that for patients with extensive stage disease, trilaciclib or G-CSF could be used if one feels they're necessary. And for limited-stage small cell lung cancer, G-CSF could be utilized if you feel it's necessary.  Brittany Harvey: Thank you for reviewing those options and all of these recommendations. The panel was certainly hard at work reviewing the evidence and developing these recommendations.  In your view, Dr. Kalemkerian, what is the importance of this guideline for both clinicians and for patients with small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: Well, I think it's not just small-cell lung cancer, but when you look at guidelines overall, I think they are very important to have evidence-based guidelines as well as expert consensus-based guidelines because, quite honestly, the field is moving very quickly, the field of oncology. Now, small-cell lung cancer hasn't moved as quickly as we would like compared to other aspects of oncology, but it's very hard for the clinician who is trying to care for patients with lots of different tumor types to keep up with all of the flood of literature, the flood of new FDA approvals that are coming out every week. So I do think that utilizing the guidelines is important in order to see what the standard approach might be.  Now, I also have to couch that with saying that guidelines are never enough. We have to look at the individual sitting across the exam table from us. We have to personalize the treatment to that individual. I will say that in my own practice, there are very few people who walk in the door who are the optimal patient, who are the person who has outstanding physical function. And in lung cancer, that's even more true because patients tend to be older smokers, and they have a lot of comorbidities and other things that you have to personalize therapy towards in them. So the guidelines are a very good starting point in order to know what the optimal treatment might be and then to adjust that accordingly to the person sitting in the room with you.  Brittany Harvey: Definitely, we hope guidelines are a place that clinicians can turn to for evidence-based recommendations and succinct recommendations, but individualized patient and clinician decision-making is paramount to each of our guidelines.   So then, Dr. Kalemkerian, we've already talked about this a little bit when you mentioned molecular testing advances down the road. So maybe I'll ask what are the most pressing, unanswered questions about systemic therapy for small-cell lung cancer? Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: Yeah, so one of them I'll come back to limited-stage small-cell lung cancer. So, obviously, in the extensive stage, we've now incorporated immunotherapy. And yet I didn't talk about immunotherapy in the limited-stage setting, and neither do the guidelines because thus far we don't have any data on the use of immunotherapy in limited-stage small-cell lung cancer. We are expecting data to be coming down the line within the next year hopefully, definitely, within the next two years, because a number of trials that are either ongoing or have recently been completed looking at incorporating immune checkpoint inhibitors into the treatment of limited-stage small-cell either concurrently with chemoradiation or as consolidation after chemoradiotherapy. So that data is anxiously anticipated. And we're hoping that that might move the needle a little bit further in limited-stage small-cell lung cancer and hopefully improve that long-term survival or cure rate that we see in that disease.  Other avenues coming down the line – many of us have made a career of doing negative trials in small-cell lung cancer, myself included, and a lot of that has had to do with trying to target therapies to specific molecular abnormalities, and none of those have really panned out thus far. But coming down the line, as we start to molecularly subtype lung cancers, and the best molecular subtyping that we have thus far is not based on mutational analysis, but more based on expression, gene expression analysis, expression of particular transcriptional factors within different subsets of small cell lung cancer, we're now starting to see some vulnerabilities. So one of these subsets in the small cell lung cancer array has a high expression of DLL3, which is part of the Notch pathway, and we can target that. We haven't figured out how to target it as far as its activity goes, but we can target it as a homing device in order to get either drugs delivered by use of antibody-drug conjugates, or to use a BiTE—a T-cell engaging type molecule—that targets both DLL3and T cells in order to try and amplify that immune response in small cell lung cancers. So recently a compound called tarlatamab had data presented at ASCO and also published in JCO that shows some response, about 20-25% response, in people with relapse small cell lung cancer. These were heavily pretreated patients. So that's moving the needle a bit in favor of a specific targeted therapy. And we're hoping that will lead to further avenues to look at the vulnerabilities of different subsets and be able to develop newer targeted treatments for these diseases, trying to amplify that immunotherapy response as well.  Small cell lung cancer is a little bit of an outlier in that it does not respond well to immunotherapy compared to other tumors. Not what we expected based on the high tumor mutational burden and the aggressiveness of the disease. But we know that it does not express a lot of PD-L1. We know that it doesn't have MHC class I molecules. So there are a number of reasons why it doesn't respond, and there is work going on to try and amplify that immune response as well. So I think those three things: the use of immunotherapy in limited-stage, the development of targeted therapies based on subsets, and trying to amplify that immune response are the things that I look forward to in the next few years. Brittany Harvey: That's great to hear. We'll await the data to provide answers to those outstanding questions.  So I want to thank you so much for your work to develop these evidence-based guidelines, and thank you for sharing your perspective with me today, Dr. Kalemkerian.  Dr. Greg Kalemkerian: Thank you, Brittany. And thanks to ASCO for getting these guidelines together and getting the outstanding group of people we had to work on it and getting them out in a timely manner so they can help our patients. Brittany Harvey: And also, thank you to all of our listeners for tuning in to the ASCO Guidelines podcast. To read the full guideline, go to www.asco.org/thoracic-cancer-guidelines.  You can also find many of our guidelines and interactive resources in the free ASCO Guidelines app available in the Apple App Store or the Google Play Store. If you have enjoyed what you've heard today, please rate and review the podcast and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.  The purpose of this podcast is to educate and to inform. This is not a substitute for professional medical care and is not intended for use in the diagnosis or treatment of individual conditions.   Guests on this podcast express their own opinions, experience, and conclusions. Guest statements on the podcast do not express the opinions of ASCO. The mention of any product, service, organization, activity, or therapy should not be construed as an ASCO endorsement.    

Hello Creators, Don't let emotions get to your head. Be rational.  Ever since we learn to walk, we absorb the narrative that emotions are something you need to DEAL WITH. Preferably alone as it might be contagious. There are bad emotions you keep to yourself. And good emotions that are encouraged to be shared. We tend to forget that they are mere transient waves that give you early signaling before your mind makes the connection. We developed a society with the most sophisticated levels of communication but yet we're as lonely as we can get. We fetishize the mind and its capabilities yet discard the most nuanced intelligence force at our disposal - emotional signaling.Our feelings are not stories about ourselves we need to believe in. They are indicators of needs. The moment we start tuning into our emotions, we start taking notice and understanding what we need at the moment. Maybe your boundaries have been crossed or you don't feel safe with certain crowds or your unhealed trauma rears its head begging for attention.Your emotions are data points to understand your desires. Having them under your belt allows you to do the radical trimming of anything that isn't aligned with your inner compass. Repressing your feelings is taking away your most powerful toolkit to see into yourself. Quite simply, denying your emotions is denying yourself.Join me and Kim, a holistic licensed psychotherapist specializing in somatic and mindfulness-based modalities and trauma healing, in a conversation where we dive deep into the emotional landscape.In this episode you'll learn:How do we hold our feelings without self-identifying?How to understand when your body signals to you when your boundary is crossed.How can we nurture emotional responsibility on a daily basis?Connect with Kim Stevens on Instagram: @KimChristineTherapy or her personal website: www.KimStevensTherapy.comIf you want to see more of my writing, sign up for my newsletter: https://humanlystories.substack.com/Find my creative work at:  https://linktr.ee/humanly.spaceHappy flowing!

When someone dies, many folks are confused about who owns the house during probate, right after the death. Technically, the heirs own it immediately upon death, subject to debts and taxes of the estate. But, sometimes is not clear who the heirs are. The probate process decides who exactly are the heirs and places an executor in charge to sort out all those debts and taxes. So, the heirs own the house, but if it is not clear who the heirs are, then you kind of need to wait to see who really owns it. Understandably, this is a bit confusing. We'll cover common questions on who owns the property during probate. Can multiple heirs inherit a house? Yes, multiple heirs can own the house either by will or deed. As you can imagine, having more than one heir inherit the house leads to a lot of problems. The most common problem is when one heir lives in the house and won't leave. Or maybe heirs can't agree on how to manage the property. And, sometimes one heir wants to keep the property and the rest want to sell it. They might even disagree on how to buy each other out. These conflicts often lead to a probate sale so everyone can take their share and walk away. Can the executor sell a house that is in probate? Does the executor have the power and authority to sell a house that is in probate? Yes, absolutely. Besides, selling the house is often necessary. Maybe the will instructs the executor to sell the house and divide the proceeds among the heirs. Sometimes the house has to be sold to cover the estate bills/taxes that the bank accounts can't cover. Or, as mentioned above, the house has to be sold because multiple heirs can't agree on what to do with the property. Do all heirs have to agree to sell property? Preferably, all the heirs should agree; that would make life easier! But they don't necessarily have to agree. If there is a court-appointed executor, then executor can make the impartial decision (if it's a professional executor and not a family member). If the executor is a family member or one of the heirs, then the decision isn't really impartial and there is potential for drama. If multiple heirs are on the deed, then the house is technically not part of probate. If heirs are in conflict about the deed, then there will be expensive court proceedings to either bring the property back into the estate so the executor can decide, or a judicial partition where a judge decides. By the time these expensive court proceedings are over, there might not be much profit. Naming multiple heirs on a deed is a variant of what we call the “beneficiary problem.” Probate We get these questions a lot, so hopefully this helps clear things up for our callers and listeners! To learn more about the ins and outs of probate, check out my book, “How Probate Works,” available on Amazon. Request your free consultation  

Dating: it's weird, isn't it? Two strangers having contrived chat in a lost-forever pocket of time. Which all makes it excellent fodder for playwright Miriam Battye, who's chatting to Hannah about her latest stage offering, Strategic Love Play. Miriam also spent some time in the Succession writers' room, but Hannah wasn't interested in talking about that. LOLZ. There is also Succession content, including why Roman accidentally sending Logan a dick pic was always going to happen. There's more writing that leads to laughing, as Mick catches up with comedian and sketch-based internet sensation, Laura Ramoso, who gives her a few tips on making TikTok work for you even if you're scared of it. Laura's one-woman show, Frances, starts its run at Soho Theatre on September 19. Jen's rounding up women's sports in Jenny Off The Blocks, and we're keeping our fingers firmly crossed that Barbara Slater's replacement as the Beeb's director of sport is another woman. Preferably another Barbara.And hold onto your transparent panties, because we're questioning the ‘masterpiece' status of Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation as it hits its 20th birthday. A good few years older than Scarlett Johansson was when making it. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/standardissuespodcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the fall rolls in with back-to-school meetings, tailgating events, and apple-picking picnics (not seriously, I don't do any of those things anymore!), entertaining takes on a sort of renewal. In Charleston, I set the table outside and bask on those perfect, breezy evenings with low humidity. The can of “Off” is not far behind, but it is a small price to pay for being able to sit comfortably in the garden. This year (and I always feel the new year begins in September), I am going back to elegant, simple tables. I love blue and white with a touch of pink or a classic red stripe with white accents. And my green Portuguese plates with a simple white linen cloth. Simpler, better, more refined than a million colors that compete with the food. When I move the party inside, I'll make an effort to bring out silver and crystal, white monogrammed napkins and shagreen cutlery. I'll serve trusted comfort foods to make us all feel warm and welcome. Not that I diverge much from this concept, but I am looking forward to Sunday roasts, seasonal local produce, and classic dishes, those that are forever good. And so, to start off this season, I am making My Best Roast Chicken. I know everyone from Nigella to Julia claims the title of The Best Chicken, and I certainly do not want to argue; I am merely sharing the one I make. And, after many years of making it and loving the result, I can tell you that this one is pretty genius. One pan cooking, hands off, and totally perfect every single time. It feeds 4 people, as the addition of sausages allows for a heartier serving. The layer of potatoes and onions absorb the juices and add that comforting ingredient so perfect for a Sunday roast. I have used both baby potatoes and Yukon gold to make this. Either works beautifully. Serve the roast with a simple green side that can be a salad, seasonal vegetable (or both!) For dessert, fruit, in any shape or form, is always the best ending. Some general guidelines:* Always get the best chicken you can buy. Preferably organic. * Use a large baking tray. 9 inches is okay; 11 is better. 14 inch round is perfect. Giving the chicken space is the solution to all-around browned skin.* Preheat the oven to 375 degrees * Start with the chicken at room temperature. Simply let it sit out of the fridge for about half an hour or until it doesn't feel chilled when you touch it. * The chicken will take about one hour and a half…. depending on the oven and how cold it was when it went in. The general rule is 15 minutes per pound, so a 3 lb chicken is …. exactly! One and a half hours. * Stuff the cavity with lemon, garlic, and fresh herbs like sage and rosemary…if you like. I do it when I have them around. It is not a necessity, only a preference. My Best Roast ChickenServes 4 people* 4 Yukon gold potatoes, sliced into thick slices* 4 cloves of garlic, peeled and diced* 1 Spanish onion, sliced* 4 tablespoons olive oil* 1 3 lb chicken, preferably organic or heirloom * 5-6 spicy sausage * 6 tablespoons truffle oil (more to taste) * 1 teaspoon each of sea salt and ground pepper Preheat the oven to 375 degreesIn the baking pan, arrange the potatoes on the bottom, sprinkle the garlic and the onions, and drizzle with olive oil—season with salt and pepper. Put the chicken on top of the potato-onion mixture and the sausages around it. Rub the truffle oil all over the chicken and season the chicken with salt and pepper.Place in the oven for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Check for doneness by inserting a knife between the breast and the thigh. If the liquid runs clear, it is done. Remove from the oven and let it sit for a few minutes for the juices to reabsorb. Carve into 6 or 8 pieces to serve and arrange on a platter. Put the potatoes and sausages around. Serve immediately, spooning any juices on top. And with this, I leave you.Sincerely,The still-skinny Serial Hostess Diary of a Serial Hostess is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thank you for subscribing. Leave a comment or share this episode.

Halacha requires drinking at least a "Melo Lugmav" (cheekful) – or about 1.7 ounces – of the wine in the Kiddush cup. Preferably, the one who recites Kiddush should drink this amount, but if he is cannot do so, for whatever reason, then he may give the wine to somebody else, who heard the Kiddush, to drink.There is a debate among the Halachic authorities concerning a case where nobody drank this required amount, for example, if the one who recited Kiddush took a small sip and then put the cup down, but nobody else drank from it. Several Halachic authorities, including the Aruch Ha'shulhan (Rav Yechiel Michel Epstein of Nevarduk, 1829-1908) and Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Israel, 1923-1998), understood the Bet Yosef (Orah Haim 271) as indicating that the obligation of Kiddush is fulfilled even if the wine is not drunk. Although the "Misva Min Ha'mubhar" – the highest standard of performing the Misva – requires drinking a "Melo Lugmav" of wine, the basic obligation is fulfilled even if nobody drinks. Therefore, if it happened that nobody drank the required amount of Kiddush wine, the obligation was fulfilled and one does not have to repeat Kiddush. Hacham Bension adds, however, that a person in this case should try to hear Kiddush from somebody else, but strictly speaking, this is not required, as he has fulfilled his obligation. Hacham Bension applies this ruling to Habdala, as well; if nobody drank a Rebi'it of wine, the obligation has nevertheless been fulfilled.Hacham Ovadia Yosef, in Hazon Ovadia – Shabbat, disagreed, and understood the Bet Yosef's comments differently. According to his reading, one does not fulfill even the basic obligation of Kiddush if nobody drinks the minimum required amount of wine. This is also the position of the Mishna Berura.Rabbi Moshe Halevi (Israel, 1961-2001), in Menuhat Ahaba, writes that it suffices even if somebody who heard Kiddush drank a "Melo Lugmav" of wine from his own cup. Meaning, even if nobody drank the wine from the cup upon which Kiddush was recited, nevertheless, if at least one person at the table drinks a "Melo Lugmav" from his cup, then everyone has fulfilled their obligation. Therefore, if one is listening to Kiddush and sees that the person who recites Kiddush is not planning to drink the wine, he should drink his own cup of wine, and in this way everyone has fulfilled the obligation.Summary: After the recitation of Kiddush, somebody – preferably the one who recited Kiddush – must drink at least 1.7 ounces from the Kiddush cup. If nobody drinks from the Kiddush cup, it suffices if somebody at the table drank this amount of wine from his own cup. According to some opinions, the Misva is fulfilled even if nobody drank any wine, though even according to this view, a person in this situation should try to hear Kiddush again.

The horrible glory of TRAPPO's BLACK SUMMER continues unabated with a deep dive on the "Black Gaze" phenomenon with a brand-new episode of TRAPPO Investigates. Once upon a time, we began a new series here called TRAPPO Investigates with an episode called "What Is Shoegaze", and just about everybody who listened to that particular episode had something negative to say about it. Apparently we just didn't do a very good job of investigating "Shoegaze", and listeners were pretty eager to let us know. That was back in January, and we're finally following up with our second installment of this nascent series a scant seven months later, so I think we're striking while the iron is hot. And coincidentally (not coincidentally), the topic we're discussing this time around is not only Black Metal-adjacent, but also "Shoegaze"-adjacent, so we get to royally upset two fan bases at once with our latest episode! So what the hell is "Black Gaze"? That's the question we're asking this week. Seriously, what the hell is this "Black Gaze" thing? Do you know? Could you tell us? Leave a comment on the official TRAPPO blog, telling us everything you know about "Black Gaze". You could also tell us all about how much this episode sucks and how much we suck because we don't understand music or the popular culture or literally anything else. That's cool. Just type some words out below and share your thoughts. CLICK HERE to visit our blog and leave a thousand comments! Do you use email? Do you have an email address? We do. It's trapposhow@gmail.com. You could send us an email if you would like. You probably won't, but you could. And we would love to read your emails. Preferably out loud on the next episode of TRAPPO's Mail Bag! But we won't hold our breath. That's it for now. BLACK SUMMER rages on next week with more wholesome fun! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/trappo/message

The team finds and adopts another piece of the Blar Harbor mystery. As things get weirder and weirder they hit the streets once more to try and get a new solid lead. Preferably, before something horrible happens.

Who is Suzanne?Suzanne Jabour is a grief integration specialist who helps organizations create supportive cultures around emotions, particularly grief. She believes that grief is not something we can ignore or suppress, but something that needs to be integrated into our lives. Suzanne works with companies to address their culture around emotion and protocols for supporting grieving employees. She provides a menu of support options to choose from and encourages conversations about grief. By doing so, she helps create a culture of support and wholeness in the workplace, which not only benefits grieving employees but also improves customer service. Suzanne's ultimate goal is to help individuals integrate their grief, so it becomes a part of them and their lives moving forward.Key TakeawaysAddressing Grief in the Workplace: "We want to integrate our grief. It becomes a part of us and a part of our life as we carry forward...None of that really works with grief...One to three days is nowhere near as long as it takes. It doesn't even take that year that sometimes we're given grace through. It takes much longer than that for many of us, especially if you've had a really catastrophic loss." - This quote emphasizes the importance of understanding that grief cannot be compartmentalized and ignored, and that it takes much longer than a few days or even a year to process. It also highlights the need for workplaces to have protocols in place to support employees going through grief, as well as a culture that embraces emotions and offers support without the burden falling solely on the grieving person to ask for help.— Suzanne Jabour [00:02:07 → 00:08:46]Grieving in the Workplace: "We need some scaffolding to be able to be successful at work."— Suzanne Jabour [00:09:27 → 00:11:21]Supporting Your Team Through Grief: "We're all experiencing grief and let's brainstorm. Let's talk about some of the ways we could support each other when we're having those difficult moments or those difficult days."— Suzanne Jabour [00:11:21 → 00:12:23]Supporting Grieving Employees: "I'm all about it, own it. Go to them and say, oh my gosh, I listened to this podcast and I realized I totally didn't support you the way you needed. What can we do now? What support do you need now? Right? There's always time to say, oh my gosh, I didn't know any better."— Suzanne Jabour [00:13:46 → 00:15:25]Grief at Work: "The biggest thing for business owners, I think, that impacts people at work, is the brain fog."— Suzanne Jabour [00:17:02 → 00:18:29]Grief Resources: "One of the people's work that helped me really get through those early, early days is Megan Devine, and her book is It's Okay That You're Not okay."— Suzanne Jabour [00:19:00 → 00:21:07]The Importance of Grief in the Workplace: "So it matters because grief gives us an in to talk about some really complicated things that are actually really important for all of us."— Suzanne Jabour [00:21:55 → 00:24:19]Valuable Free Resource or Actionhttps://static1.squarespace.com/static/6013019a02a2d7779026a55e/t/64092e6c2df4700a16d5dadd/1678323312188/e+book+final%3F.pdf_________________________________________________________________________________________________Subscribe to our newsletter and get details of when we are doing these interviews live at https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/newsletterFind out more about being a guest at : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/beaguestSubscribe to the podcast at https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/podcastHelp us get this podcast in front of as many people as possible. Leave a nice five-star review at apple podcasts : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/apple-podcasts and on YouTube : https://link.thecompleteapproach.co.uk/Itsnotrocketscienceatyt!Here's how you can bring your business to THE next level:If you are a business owner currently turning over £/$10K - £/$50K per month and want to grow to £/$100K - £/$500k per month download my free resource on everything you need to grow your business on a single page : https://scientificvaluebuildingmachine.onlineIt's a detailed breakdown of how you can grow your business to 7-figures in a smart and sustainable way————————————————————————————————————————————-TranscriptNote, this was transcribed using a transcription software and may not reflect the exact words used in the podcast)SUMMARY KEYWORDSgrief, Grief at Work, ebook, brain fog, practical support, program, business owners, Suzanne Jabor, grief education, lack of support, long-term support, consult, newsletter, processing grief, vulnerability, emotions at work, team members, loyalty, bereavement leave policies, culture, menu of support options, disengaged employees, anticipatory grieving, team-building, business leaders, follow-up, cycles, returning to normality, nonfiction comprehension, Facebook, Instagram, Megan Devine, David Kessler, post traumatic growth, meaning in grief.SPEAKERSSuzanne Jabour, Stuart WebbStuart Webb [00:00:22]:Hi, and welcome back to It's Not Rocket Science five Questions Over Coffee. I'm really delighted to be welcoming Suzanne Jabor today from a lived experience. Now, Suzanne is somebody who's passionate about helping people to understand and overcome grief, and she's a grief education. I think it's going to be a really fascinating discussion because it's something that we so rarely deal with, and as business owners, it is the thing that we need to deal with, because if it's not somebody within our organization, it could well be us that's having to go through something like this. And we just often want to put this away in a shed and hope that it just goes away. And that's not really the right way of dealing with some of these feelings. It really doesn't help the organization. It doesn't help you. So I think it's going to be a really fascinating discussion that Suzanne really want to welcome you to it's Not Rocket Science five Questions of Copy. And thank you for spending the time with us.Suzanne Jabour [00:01:17]:Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate, especially people whose work is focused on business, taking the time to talk about this topic because it's so important, it has such a huge impact.Stuart Webb [00:01:27]:Yeah. Well, I will tell you that when my father died, it was a problem for my business for a short while until I eventually learned to overcome it. So I know how it can affect people who are trying to run businesses, who are also trying to, as I said, compartmentalize this thing and just ignore it and hope it just goes away, which is just if that's happening within your organization, it's happening with one of your employees. It's the wrong way of dealing with it. So, Suzanne, you've seen this. You've helped people talk to us about the sort of things that people are doing and how you're trying to help them, to educate them on their grief and the way to deal with it.Suzanne Jabour [00:02:07]:Yeah. So the thing that's the most important for me is exactly what you're talking about. This kind of whole idea we have that we can put grief in a box, we can just kind of ignore it, we can pretend it's not there and it will eventually go away, is unfortunately not how it works. Really the only way to get to I talk about integration being the goal. We want to integrate our grief. It becomes a part of us and a part of our life as we carry forward, which is, I'm sure, what you've done with your dad, right? You haven't left him behind. You haven't moved on or gotten through anything. You've learned how to live with the loss, to carry that grief with you and carry him with you. And what happens at work often is work many places is a place where we're not encouraged, really, to have emotions anyway. Employers want us to kind of show up and get the job done and figure out what the problem is, make a plan, solve the problem, move forward. None of that really works with grief. And so if that's your office culture, it can be really challenging for grievers. And if your office culture is more accepting of emotions than that, even then the really big emotions that happen in grief, which are mostly, to be honest, the ones on that negative or bad side of the list if you think about that weird paradigm we have of positive and good emotions and negative and bad emotions? The ones that we've been taught from our childhoods for most of us to ignore and not express and tamp down are the ones that are coming at you in a tsunami when you're in early, especially those early days and those acute days of grief. And for most places, certainly in North America, and I'd love to hear about what it's like for you in the UK. There's kind of a standard one to three days off, and then you're expected to just show up and be your normal self and get your job done. And one to three days is nowhere near as long as it takes. It doesn't even take that year that sometimes we're given grace through. It takes much longer than that for many of us, especially if you've had a really catastrophic loss. And so that sort of sense that you should be able to show up and do your job really does a disservice to everyone because you're then as the griever, feeling all these expectations that you can't meet, which is then more grief and loss, right? Because you're already mourning the person you lost. And then if it's someone who the loss of them changed your identity, which is what happened to me, you're mourning yourself, your loss of yourself, and now you're mourning that you don't have these capacities at work that you used to have, but you're supposed like, it just gets so complicated. So if instead we can have talked about it ahead of time, we can have protocols, we can have developed the skills and mindsets that allow us to at least witness all of those emotions that are coming up and at least have an open forum where people could talk about them, maybe a quiet place where they could go when they feel overwhelmed. Preferably not the bathroom, right? There's many of us that have cried massive tears in a bathroom stall. It's not all that dignified, right, somewhere quiet to go when you're an overwhelmed. That's not the bathroom. I love to think about it as like a menu of things you could choose from that you might need support with, and we can talk about details of that if that's interesting. But what I do with companies is just come in and look at what the culture is around emotion because that's where we need to start. And I know that's scary and I know we don't really want to, but it makes us better humans. It makes us better business leaders. It makes us better employers and customer service providers. And then once we've got to that point where we can maybe have a conversation about grief without feeling like we're terrified and we want to turn and run away, then we can look at what are the practical things we can do. A lot of companies come to me because they have someone who's important to their team who's had a significant loss and they realize they want to do something more than like the referral to the Employee assistance program, right, that referral to sort of the three free counseling sessions. They know that's not going to be enough, but they don't know what else to do. So that's where I can step in and really go, okay, great, let's look at your culture. Let's look at this. If it's based on an individual, let's start there and then from there we can make some really robust protocols that people know they can hook into. So the other thing that happens that's really hard for grievers is if there's no conversation that's ever been had in your workplace, there's no protocols in place. You're having to go in the hardest moments of your life to try and advocate for what you need. And that's really a big burden for people. So they tend to not do it because they're in full on survival mode. They can't also go and say they can't even necessarily identify what's happening to them. So they can't go and say, well, I'm really having significant brain fog and I'm struggling with keeping track of my calendar. Could we set up a shared calendar? Like they can't even articulate any of that because they're in survival mode. But if you as the boss, the supervisor, the business owner could say, hey, I know you're grieving. Here's our grief protocol. What of those things would really help you this week? Let's put those into place. And it's an offer that's made as opposed to someone coming to have to ask. That's really powerful. And the ripple of that is that it shows all your other employees who aren't grieving that you care about them, that their whole self is welcome at the office. And if they're struggling with a loss, big or small or just struggling with something else, they know there's an ability to come and get support. So it creates that whole culture of support and wholeness that I really think is a big part of that sort of quiet quitting epidemic and people showing up and just being barely engaged. If people feel seen and heard, then we also want to show up in a really robust way as best as our capacities are that day. And we know the vast majority of people are doing the best they can in any given day with the skills and capacities they have. So if we're working from that assumption, then we can really make real shifts around how we support both our staff and we have customers who are grieving too. So if you have customer facing folks, if that's your business, even if it's business to business, the way that you interact with people who have experienced a loss I just was talking with a friend the other day who'd experienced a significant loss. And honestly, we're all sharing notes. So I know which companies I will not go to because they didn't have capacity to help him when he needed it, and I know which ones I will. So if you think that grief is not impacting your business, I'm here to tell you you are wrong. Because especially right now, coming out of the last three years, we've all experienced we all have grief for something. Whether we've lost people or multiple people or all the other things we lost, we all have it. So we need to be talking about it.Stuart Webb [00:08:46]:Suzanne, it's really interesting, and it's exciting to hear you say, I guess the question that follows on from that we could turn this into 200 questions of a coffee. We're not going to. I could probably but we were so you mentioned it at the end there. What are the things that people are doing wrong? Because you've already sort of said there are things that people are trying to do to sort of overcome this. And it's often a business owner sort of doing something and you think that they have just missed the point, or they've just misunderstood, or they're trying valiantly to do something, but it's misguided. What are some of the things you've seen that have sort of made you stop and go, no, I really think you need to stop and turn around and go somewhere else?Suzanne Jabour [00:09:27]:Yeah, I mean, I think the biggest one that I hear from grievers is that there's just no support at all. So they get the sort of I'm sorry, they might get sent flowers, maybe not. They might get a card, maybe not. All of those things are great, and we need support. Beyond that, we need practical support. We need some scaffolding to be able to be successful at work. So that's the biggest one, right? Is that the same fear that we feel in our real lives when we're faced with someone who's grieving and we don't know what to do, we don't know what to say, we don't know how to respond? That happens in the workplace. So that's one end of the scale. One end of the scale is they get no support at all. That's a big problem. The other end of the scale is they get support, but it's not what they need. So it's not kind of griever centered. It's happened without a conversation. Perhaps someone has said, oh, you must be overwhelmed, so let's take this task from you. Well, if you're taking the task that they really like, then now they're left with, not the things that they really enjoy at work or the companies that are trying that want to help and want to give support that offer, and they take things away, or they provide scaffolding. There's no follow up plan put in place. So I actually was talking with one woman who ended up quitting her job and going somewhere else because she had lost a child, so she'd lost a son. And they provided all kinds of support, really robust support at the beginning, but no follow up plan to then take that scaffolding down so she could step back into the fullness of her role. So she ended up leaving because she became that woman who'd lost a child who everyone had to help, and she didn't want that to be her identity either. Right. So it's kind of like, from both ends of the spectrum, we kind of go wrong. And really the key, key thing, if you can hear anything, is do it all in consultation with the griever. Yeah.Stuart Webb [00:11:21]:Brilliant.Suzanne Jabour [00:11:21]:And understand that they may not have the capacity, especially in those really acute early days, to articulate or even comprehend what they need. So that's why if you've talked about it ahead of time, I mean, think about what a powerful team building exercise that would be if you had a team meeting where the conversation was, we're all experiencing grief and let's brainstorm. Let's talk about some of the ways we could support each other when we're having those difficult moments or those difficult days. And if you don't have the skills to do that, then you can bring in someone like me who can easily facilitate that conversation and just get the ball rolling. Right. Because then we're sending all kinds of messages. Like, it's also, as we know, as business leaders, right. It's not just about what you say. It's about the messages you're sending. It's about that idea that we value your whole person and your whole experience. Whatever's going on for you is, okay, you're a valued part of this business, and we need you, and we need you at the best of your capacity, whatever that is. Right. So there's kind of, you know, there's pitfalls both ends of the scale.Stuart Webb [00:12:23]:Yeah. You said something really valuable there that I think which is doing these things in advance, isn't it? Because doing it too late and having that conversation before I think it's absolutely brilliant that you stress that, because I think that is one of the things that I think, once again, I don't want to get into too. Much personal stuff. But there was a situation with me where somebody who was in the process of they had a terminal condition and they were starting the grieving process before the grieving before the person has left. And essentially, I sort of eventually realized this person was grieving the healthy situation. They were sort of anticipating and sitting, going, well, the healthy what I had before has gone and everything was rosy. Now I know it's not going to be rosy. And they were grieving that, and then there was going to be a second grief after the death. And so it was one of those, this is going to be a long term thing. And the follow up has to be very critical because they will go through several cycles of feeling good and feeling bad and things will change and then it becomes, well, how much longer do we do this and what do we do in order to sort of return to normality? Which is the critical step on that path, isn't it?Suzanne Jabour [00:13:46]:Yeah, absolutely. And that can take a really long time. Like for me, I came to this work after the death of my son, which now is two and a half years ago, which is not all that long in the grand scheme of things, but in our sense of how grief works. I should be back to normal, right? I should be totally fine. Well, of course that's not the case. I still have capacities that I go, wait, I used to be able to do that and I can't. So that's okay. I can do lots of other things, but that sort of sense of and in a situation you describe where it's complicated, right? You're having to support someone through anticipatory grief, and then they're going to have the grief when the person finally dies. That person is going to need support for a long time. And you don't want to lose them, right. They're a valued part of your team. So you want to do what you can. And I just want to riff off to something. You were saying that there's a point where it's kind of too late. I don't actually think that's true. I think you can do a lot of really good mitigating of what you might not have done brilliantly, because we all are doing the best we can as we learn new things. So if you're coming out of this conversation today of listening to us and thinking, oh my gosh, I totally blew it with my person who lost someone fairly recently, I'm all about it, own it. Go to them and say, oh my gosh, I listened to this podcast and I realized I totally didn't support you the way you needed. What can we do now? What support do you need now? Right? There's always time to say, oh my gosh, I didn't know any better. Now I have this inkling I might not have stepped up the way I would have wanted to. Where do we go from here? Right? And that's that vulnerability piece, that honesty piece about we don't know what we don't know, until someone says, hey, you don't know that. And then we need to recover. And that's okay.Stuart Webb [00:15:25]:I absolutely love that, Suzanne. Thank you. I've just put a message up on the screen for people to see if the questions and I'm just going to throw this open. I hope you don't mind, Suzanne, but even after this recording is finished, if they've got questions, they can easily post them to you by contacting you on LinkedIn, where you're obviously tagged on this particular episode. Or if they need me to contact me, I will then pass them on to Suzanne so that you can actually get those questions answered. So please don't suffer in silence, as it were. Ask the questions. And I love the advice you've just given Suzanne, which is, it's never too late to just turn around and own that situation.Suzanne Jabour [00:16:04]:Absolutely.Stuart Webb [00:16:06]:Now, I'm just going to hide that question for a minute. I'm hoping that you've got some valuable free resources that you can talk to us about. It's on your website, which is on screen now, which is a lived experience. So that's a lived experience. And I hope I've spelled that right. It's difficult for me to be absolutely sure.Suzanne Jabour [00:16:26]:I've got I know I realized I picked a really complicated to spell thing. It's all those letters that you don't usually type. I'm sorry.Stuart Webb [00:16:36]:It's easy to say, but difficult to get right when you're typing. What have you got on there that could help us sort of understand a little bit better some of the things that we could be doing as business owners, business small business owners and people who are working together with clients and customers and also within organizations so that we can be better grief supporters.Suzanne Jabour [00:17:02]:Yeah. So the most important thing that your listeners will find there is a very short, I promise. It's about six pages, a little quick ebook, and it's called Grief at Work. So you just look for the Grief at Work ebook. It's in the top banner. Click there. It's about six pages of really distilled a starting place. Right. So I talk a lot there about some of the symptoms people might be experiencing, really practical ways that you can support them. The biggest thing for business owners, I think, that impacts people at work, is the brain fog. And if you haven't ever experienced and no one's ever told you about it, it's a thing. And it's a really big thing for a lot of grievers that sense that just your brain is foggy and you can't remember things. And it's of course, linked to sleep deprivation and all our issues with sleeping and eating and all the things that keep us healthy and whole that we don't do very well in early grief. So that would be the thing to really click on there. And then there's another page that's called Grief at Work that just gives a little brief outline of what I offer as my program. So what I would come into your company and offer you. So that would be the two things. And then if you want to keep digging, my blog posts are all there so you can learn more about how grief worked for me. And now when I'm doing a blog post, I try and include a section on the bottom with some suggestions and ideas for someone who's grieving, for someone who's supporting them, and then for a business owner. So there's some really rich information there, but I would start with the Grief at Work ebook. That's the place to start. Brilliant.Stuart Webb [00:18:29]:Thank you, Suzanne, so much. You talked a little bit about how you sort of go into this, and I don't want you to expose too much of that because I think that's a thing which probably is personal to you. But is there a particular book or course which you think helped you when you were starting your grief journey that you would recommend other people to start using to get through the grief process and help them to understand what they should be doing?Suzanne Jabour [00:19:00]:Yeah, that's such an interesting question for me in those early days of grief. And one of the things I still struggle with is nonfiction comprehension. Like remembering what I've read, is still really hard with nonfiction. So I relied really on Facebook and Instagram posts because they're short and chunky and you don't have to read very long. So one of the people's work that helped me really get through those early, early days is Megan Devine, and her book is It's Okay That You're Not okay. And she's on Facebook and Instagram. She has a website, email, podcast, all the things she's really great for those early days. And the other person that has helped me really the most on my grief journey is David Kessler. And that's actually who I did my grief educator course with. I knew that from my own experience, which is how my company ended up with the name it had. I knew my lived experience was going to be enough for me to be able to help people. And I also wanted to have a foundation in understanding grief in a broader sense and what other people's experiences might be. So I sought out a grief educator course, and I did that with David Kessler, who's written I think he's written six books now about grief. His latest book, which is really fabulous once you're out of that kind of survival mode, is called Finding Meaning. And it's all about sort of that sense of post traumatic growth that we know is possible if we choose it and if we have the capacity for that. So his most recent book is about sort of how do you integrate that person, how do you find meaning from this experience, from this loss? And that's really helped me a lot, sort of after that first year and a half, two years, when I started to really well. I mean, I looked for meaning right from the beginning because that was going to be my path, my way with grief. But for a lot of people, they don't make that choice then, because they're so in survival mode and they just need to get through every day. But once you're ready to kind of look at the broader impacts of that loss in your life, that's a really helpful resource. And he also is present on Facebook and Instagram has a great website, courses, an amazing online support community. So both of those people really helped me a lot.Stuart Webb [00:21:07]:And Susanna, I hope we'll find your website and your pages to do exactly the same thing, because I think you're bringing us some real valuable insights here and I don't want to diminish those in any way. But look, we've covered some interesting ground, but I always finish these interviews with my fifth and I often admit, a get out of jail free question, which means I don't have to do any work here. This is about you, and I want this to be about you. So there is a question that you must be thinking, he hasn't yet asked me, and so now is the opportunity for you to say, the question you really should have been asking me is this. But then, of course, you obviously have to answer it because otherwise we won't know the answer. So what is that question you would have liked me to have asked, which I've so far failed to do?Suzanne Jabour [00:21:55]:I think the question that is the most important to me that we've touched on a little bit is why does it matter? Because I think with this topic that we so are sort of conditioned and enculturated to kind of Turntail and run away. We're all so scared, we feel so much fear around it. It's really easy for us to think, well, but that doesn't really matter. Why does that matter? Why do I need to do this? It's uncomfortable. I don't like it. She's talking about emotions at work. I'm out. Like, I don't want to do this. Why it matters is that these people who are grieving are valuable parts of your team and they're valued customers and they are important to your business's success. So everything that I'm talking about, we all want to do because we're most of us on a path of trying to become a better human. The other reason it matters is because this impacts your bottom line. When you look at the cost of having to do recruitment and interviewing and training and all that stuff and getting someone up to speed as opposed to retention. It is much cheaper if we're only going to look at it from the bottom line, right? From a business financial perspective, it is much cheaper to offer short term, medium term, long term scaffolding and support to existing valuable team members than it is to find somebody new. And especially in this climate where it feels easier for people to leave and find something else that feels like it's shifting a little bit now here anyway. But it's been an employees market for a long time these last few years, so people seem to feel more able to go. You know what? I've had a shift in my perspective and a shift in what I'm prepared to do at work and what I'm prepared to put up with. And I'm not prepared to put up with this anymore. So it matters because grief gives us an in to talk about some really complicated things that are actually really important for all of us. And the ripple effect that you create, this system of having scaffolding, this system of supports for people who are struggling, a culture where it's expected that sometimes we will struggle and we have all these things in place for when you are. That's a huge shift in culture. And when we shift that culture to having a business where people feel seen and heard and valued, then we're increasing loyalty for our staff and our customers. And ultimately that's what we all want. So that's why it matters.Stuart Webb [00:24:19]:Love it. Suzanne, that's been what a way to finish this particular episode. Suzanne, you have educated me. Thank you so much for spending a few minutes on this call with me today. I really appreciate the effort that you've gone to to talk to us about this. I will just now be very quick and just say, look, if you would like to join the newsletter list and get notification each week of just some of the most brilliant guests that we get on this, so that you can ask them questions during their interview or connect with them afterwards, get onto the website, which is link thecompletroach Co Uknewsletter simple form. Fill it out. You get onto the newsletter list, I send you an email once a week which says, who's coming on this week? You get access to be able to talk to some of the most brilliant people I've found on the planet. Suzanne, thank you so much for coming on and spending a few minutes with us. We really do appreciate all the time you spent with us and for some of that really educational advice.Suzanne Jabour [00:25:24]:Thank you so much for having me. You're so welcome. Get full access to It's Not Rocket Science! at thecompleteapproach.substack.com/subscribe

Everybody! It is unequivalably required by you, the consumer, to move your feet and move your body! Preferably in a direction that leads to the local tanning salons where you will find great deals on ways to get a tan that does not involve (too much) of the sun! Please enjoy our salad bar. Or… Read more S7:E23 – Junior Senior – Move Your Feet Music Video

Step one of the Power of Zero strategy is to realize that due to unfunded obligations for Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid and interest on the exploding national debt, tax rates in the future are going to be dramatically higher than they are today. Step two is to understand that in a rising tax rate environment there is an ideal amount of money to have in your taxable and tax-deferred buckets.  For your taxable bucket, that's around six months of living expenses.  For your tax-deferred bucket, the amount should be low enough that your RMDs in retirement are equal to or less than your standard deduction and low enough that it doesn't cause Social Security taxation. For married couples, that amount is around $350,000, and for single filers, it's half that amount. If you have a sizable pension, the amount could be zero. Step three is to calculate how much time it will take to shift your balances to tax-free in order to achieve those balances. Preferably slow enough that you don't rise into a tax rate that will give you heartburn, but quickly enough that you get all the heavy lifting done before tax rates rise for good. 2030 is currently the target date. Step four is to see if you qualify for the Life Insurance Retirement Plan. With the LIRP, it gives you a death benefit that counts as long-term care and it can greatly extend the life of your stock market portfolio. One of the primary reasons you are paying for your LIRP is being able to access your death benefit if you need long-term care, but if you die peacefully in your sleep your heirs still get the death benefit. Step five is calculating your income shortfall in retirement. Figure out your after-tax needs in retirement that subtract any sources of guaranteed income like Social Security or a pension. Step six is to contribute a portion of your IRA to an annuity in the form of a fixed indexed annuity with the piecemeal internal Roth conversion feature. You want to contribute enough today so that by the time you have finished your Roth conversion it will produce enough tax-free guaranteed lifetime income that it will bridge the shortfall in your after-tax shortfall.     Mentioned in this episode: David's books: Power of Zero, Look Before You LIRP, The Volatility Shield, Tax-Free Income for Life and The Infinity Code Come Back America by David Walker DavidMcKnight.com DavidMcKnightBooks.com PowerOfZero.com (free 3-part video series) @mcknightandco on Twitter  @davidcmcknight on Instagram David McKnight on YouTube Get David's Tax-free Tool Kit at taxfreetoolkit.com

"Go on Johnny!"Today, the girls talk about the boys!What should they be doing, how they should be acting and what do they need to know?Is there a difference between Ushers and Groomsmen? (Google gets involved here) and of course a disagreement between Beth & Georgie.They discuss;- stag do's- how far is too far- roles on the dayBeth's biggest tip is to get the men to CHECK THEIR SUITS! Preferably before the big day! Georgie finally gives the Groomsmen a title - 'Guest Liaison Officers'The girls also slightly go off on a tangent and maybe Georgie's relationship is now on the rocks... Hen do stories come out.Who wants a hen do episode? Shall we get someone else to produce this episode so Brian's not listening...Bitches from a bride - Is a wedding day meant to be an olive branch?Tip Jar - Garter toss, what are we thinking? Stick or Ick.***********************************************************************************Today's sponsor is the lovely Holly Robinson Jewellery.If you're looking for the perfect wedding bands, jewellery for your big day, or need to send you partner a hint - Holly is the woman for you.With decades of experience, Holly teams an understanding of current trends with timeless classics.Her knowledge and straight talking approach is all you need to find the perfect jewellery, within your budget. Bespoke never looked so good!Find Holly using the links below;Website - https://www.hollyrobinsonjewellery.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hollyrobinsonjewellery/TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@hollyrobinsonjewellery****************************************Make sure you follow us on Instagram & TikTok!The Unfiltered Bride - @the.unfiltered.brideGeorgie - @georgina.rose.eventsBeth - @etiquetteeventstyling Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is Sony Picture Animation's biggest financial success to date. Spider-Verse 2 has almost doubled the global box office of the initial Oscar-winning film.    Movie pundits say 2018's Into the Spider-Verse run on Netflix helped this unique take on the Spider-Man story, grow a large cult following leading to this current film's winning box office. Vulture.com interviewed 4 of the animators who worked on this sequel and said it was a demanding production—working upwards of 11-hour days, up to 100 artists quitting throughout, and having to start from scratch five times due to pandemic-related starts/stops and editorial issues with Phil Lord. My thoughts; it was my favorite theatrical release of June 2023, over several other notable franchises, including Transformers, The Flash, and Indiana Jones.   It made me yearn for more big-budget, superhero, animated films. Visually I noticed it more in this movie than in the first; the mixing of the art styles is incredible-a comic book come to life.    Examples include the scene in the third act when Gwen talks to her father; the background turns into these pastel-like colors. Spider-Punk is introduced, and his appearance is in a style of a collage alphabet often associated with the punk scene. Shading on Miles's face using Ben-Day dots to convey a dramatic scene.    The Spot monologuing and stick figure artwork present in his design.  Once upon a time, I had aspirations of wanting to illustrate comics. I bought 'How to Draw Comics The Marvel Way' by Stan Lee and John Buscema.   I spent hours drawing what I was learning from that book. This film is a love letter to comic book art, which took me back to those days. Other notes-anytime you throw in moms and dads relating to their children and kids wanting their parent's support, I get emotional, which happened several times.    I loved the integration of the past live-action Spider films where you see clips of Andrew Garfield and Tobey Mcguire's turns as Peter Parker, which was unexpected and made these Spider-Verse stories part of the overall Sony Spider-Man universe.    Fast action and, as the first film, contemporary, especially with its Hip-Hop influence and style.   Characters such as Miguel O'Hara's Spider-Man 2099, a motorcycling Spider-Woman, and Pravit Prabhakar were intriguing.   Potential TV and movie spin-offs?   I am here for it. My criticisms-Across the Spider-Verse felt longer than it had to be.   It did what 20 years ago, Peter Jackson's LOTR Return of the King, did and had multiple endings.   It kept going on and on. There should also be an epilepsy warning. The flashing lights and colors might be triggering. This animated lane is a fantastic way to tell this Miles Morales story. Preferably he stays here and does not come into live action, but with the popularity of this character, it is inevitable.  9 out of 10 for me. Thoughts? Comments? Do so on the blog here https://paulperezblog.blogspot.com/2023/07/spider-man-across-spiderverse-spoiler.html  Rate, like, leave a review! If you've enjoyed this episode, please support this podcast by doing any, all your shopping through my affiliate link: AMAZON: http://amzn.to/2dRu3IM or DONATE/TIP here https://bit.ly/2LD1mwy SUBSCRIBE Everywhere HERE https://bit.ly/3tkjIbV  Let's keep in touch, sign up for the email list here https://bit.ly/42QhWBi 

Join Anne & Lau as they provide expert insights on overcoming self-sabotage and building powerful connections in the voice over industry. Learn to bring your authentic self to every performance, acknowledge negative self-talk, and rise above self-doubt. Discover strategies to take control of your negative self-talk and move past excuses to help you excel in your voice over career. Anne & Lau will also guide you on how trying new things and getting used to small failures can help you break out of a perfectionist rut and take your voice over business to the next level.   Transcript   It's time to take your business to the next level, the BOSS level! These are the premiere Business Owner Strategies and Successes being utilized by the industry's top talent today. Rock your business like a BOSS, a VO BOSS! Now let's welcome your host, Anne Ganguzza.   Anne: Hello, BOSSes. Welcome to the VO BOSS podcast and the BOSS superpower series with my ever so special guest,(laughs), Lau Lapides.    Lau: Thank you, Anne. Hello. How are you?    Anne: How are you? Oh, awesome. Look at us. How are you?   Lau: Jinx.    Anne: What is that punch? What is that? Punch Bug. Punch Bug?   Lau: (laughs). Wait, what is that show? Uh, Wonder Twin powers, activate.    Anne: Activate.   Lau: Form of --   Anne: Right? Business superpowers. Activate.    Lau: Activate.    Anne: Activate.    Lau: (laughs) Ooh, I love that. (laughs)    Anne: Speaking of superpowers, activating, sometimes I find that my students have a hard time activating their superpowers, and I'm a firm believer that everybody has superpowers in the booth. However, it takes a lot to get past things so that they can activate those superpowers. It's like they get in their own way. Right? Get out of your own way.    Lau: Yes. Get out of your -- if there were a place, if there were a waiting room that we could leave ourselves in when we go into the booth, or a camera, or an interview, or wherever you're going to do your work, we could leave ourselves there and not worry about it until we come out and get ourselves again — that would be a good thing to do.    Anne: Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's so tough. I think I always go back to what we do is so personal, right? Our voice is such a personal extension of ourselves, and we're being asked to bring ourselves to a performance constantly. But yet, there are times when we cannot do that, right? In reality, we think we're trying to bring the performer, right, to the performance, but in reality, we want you to bring yourself to the performance. And I think that is what most people have the hardest time doing, getting out of their own way so that they can bring themselves to that audition, to the booth, to the read, whatever that is. And so how do we get out of our own way, Lau? I mean, I think it's a struggle that everyone that gets into voiceover encounters at one point or another.    Lau: I mean, I think that this is a struggle that we encounter throughout our lifetime, whether we're a voiceover talent or not, but certainly actors of all kinds are always going through identity crisis, always going through, who am I now, and am I good enough? That old imposter syndrome?    Anne: Yeah. Yeah.    Lau: And one thing that I always do, and I do this for myself, and I recommend this as a coach as well, is self-talk scripting. I think self-talk scripting is really important to do. And you guys, you can do this, and you can do this all day long, and you can even do it in your head. But I recommend you start out by doing it on paper and write down your negative script. That is the thing that you are saying to yourself in the moment that is really negative. And then I want you to convert that into something that's positive and probably closer to the truth.    Anne: I like that.    Lau: Yeah. It just gives you a step.    Anne: And hang that in your studio. Hang it in your studio.    Lau: Yes.    Anne: So you see it. Yes. Absolutely.    Lau: Yes. And so it can be revolutionary in the sense of saying, wow, if I'm moving towards some sort of enlightenment in my personhood and in my career, I have to be authentically who I am, which means I'm flawed. I'm not perfect by any means, and I'm not even close to it. I'm a real person who's interesting and diverse and complex and sophisticated. So when I have something that comes in my way to self-sabotage my success, I have to stop and recognize it. I have to take accountability for it, and then I have to change it.    Anne: And I think number one, for people really just starting off -- I think people that have been doing this for a while, they understand the process. But the first thing that people will do is judge how they sound. And we've talked about this so many times, right? They're like, oh, I don't like the way that audition sounds. And I don't think it sounds like what they want it to sound like. And that right there is your self-sabotage. The fact that you're saying, okay, it needs to sound a certain way, and you're not in any way thinking, how can I bring myself to this read? Or how can I bring my person to this read to make it unique, to make it something that will really perk up the ears of the casting director and really tell the story. That's what gets in the way, I think, a lot of times.    Lau: And even as part of that, like if you're having a piece of copy in front of you, a script in front of you, anything written in front of you, that gymnastics that a lot of times you may go through in saying, I don't know if I wanna do this. I'm not ready for this. I don't really know what this means. And I've never seen — all the stuff, all the excuses we start to come up with --   Anne: Oh, so many excuses.   Lau: -- to procrastinate from getting to the job.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: Right? I'd love to come up with that first before we even open our mouth. (laughs). Like, what do we say to stop us from getting to the point of doing the job?    Anne: Well, I'm gonna say, stop like talking to yourself and beating yourself up about how you sound and spend that time instead getting out of your way. How can you get out of your way constructively? Well, there's a little thing called Google(laughs). Anne GanGoogle says, Google. Right? Especially if you've got a script and you've got some clues in that script that can help you find out more about what that script, that content is about. Because to bring yourself to that party, you've gotta involve yourself in the story of the script. And the more you know about the story of the script, the more you know about the brand that's involved in that script, the more you know about these little clues that are in the script, these little sayings or nuances, the more you can educate yourself on that, the easier it's gonna be for you to bring your point of view to it.    Lau: Hmm. I love that. And add on to that, have your circle ready to go. Who's your circle? Your coaches, your family, your friends, whatever. Just have people there that you can call upon to remind you about your greatness and your fabulosity.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: Now, make sure they're not gonna rip you down. Make sure they're not gonna rip you apart and make you self-doubt. Because if they do that, then it's counterproductive. You want people who are going to keep building you up, building you up, building you up, so that you have the confidence to face what you need to face. It doesn't mean they're lying to you. They may not even be in the industry. They may not even have the industry knowledge, but you wanna have that circle of people there for you to call upon to say, you know what? I don't feel great today, or I don't think I sound great. What do you think? And they say, I don't hear anything wrong with your voice. Your voice sounds great. So what's your deal? And it makes you just stop and get out of your head. I would say get out of your head and get into the world.    Anne: Yeah. I love that. I love that. Definitely you need your network, your VO family. And honestly, as we were discussing before, in a weird sense, I'm gonna say you are more than VO. If you just take a look at the words voiceover, right, there's really not much substance to voiceover in words. It's like a voice, but in reality, you are so much more than just that voice. I mean, you really have to start establishing yourself or thinking of yourself as much more than just the voice. You are the actor, you are the entrepreneur, you are the business person.    And with that, I think, comes a sense of something that you can bring to that read or that script that is more than just thinking, oh, it's just about the voice and then stressing yourself out over and over and over again and beating yourself up about how it's not -- what am I doing wrong? Or why is nobody listening to it? What is the feedback? And absolutely reach out to that network, network of coaches, network of accountability buddies that you have to get you out of that funk. Because sometimes it is a funk.    Lau: It is. And much of the time, that's all it is. I would even say, do something. Okay? And what I mean by that is, be active and be in action. The moment you're inside your head oftentimes will be inactive, right? Now if you're thinking you're active, but I want you to be interactive. So meaning the moment you have that thought, you need to cut it off by physically doing something. Whether you move to another room, whether you call someone up, whether you go out and take a walk, whether -- whatever you do, you need to break that also with physical energy. It's really important. Because that heady stuff weighs us down and we actually get cut off from the rest of our body.    Anne: Yeah. What a great piece of -- we can go home now, Lau. That was a wonderful piece of advice. (Lau laughs) Absolutely. Sometimes just getting up, taking a breath and deep breathing, getting out of the studio. I always like to pet my fur babies. Go see my hubby. Or just do something that gets you out of that, out of that funk, out of that mental -- and you're right, physical can really be a wonderful way to get yourself out of that funk. And when you get out of that funk, and you can actually start to get into the story, get into whatever it is, the dialogue, whatever it is that you are working on in your booth, magic will happen.    Lau: I love it.    Anne: I always say to people, when it's right, you feel it. You don't hear it, but you feel it. And that's where I think, every once in a while, when you get that script and you just feel it. And it's like, oh, damn. You don't know quite how it happened, but you felt that it was right. And I wanna say that's what we should always strive for, right? Just that feeling that, yeah, I hit that, that worked. And then even if you, let's say, don't get that audition or don't get that gig, be proud of the fact that you have evolved. That's such a beautiful, wonderful feeling, when you're like, oh yeah, that was good. That was really good. And you can feel proud of yourself for that.    Lau: Yes. And do a little VO feng shui, meaning do two things. I want you to think up a new idea and learn a new technique that is the implementation of the idea. So it could be something very simple like, oh, today I'm going to, oh, I wanna reach out to this company or these people. I'm gonna reach out to these people in this way. And then I have a new technique for doing that, because I'm gonna do a drip campaign. So that to me is a little feng shui of the spirit of you and your business. You don't have to do exactly the same way every day and get into a rut. You can really say, this week I wanna try something new. And I sat with Anne, I sat with another coach or whatever, and I learned a new idea, a new technique, and now I'm gonna try it.    Anne: Well, I love that you just brought it out of the booth and into your business, which is great. So getting out of your own way doesn't just mean performance-wise in your booth and acting wise; it also means in your business. So getting out of your own way in your business. And I cannot tell you, there's so many things, Lau, that a lot of people in their business don't like to do because, number one, maybe they're not familiar or they're not educated, they don't know how to do it, and so therefore they don't do anything. Or they will simply just say, oh, I can't, I just can't possibly do that. I don't either have the money or I don't have whatever the excuses are. And I've heard them all, right? And money is a big one, and I get it right, as BOSSes running a business.    Lau: Yeah.    Anne: I totally get the money thing. And we've had multiple episodes about money. But I will say is that you have to open your mind for abundance and open your mind for the fact that you need to invest that money and also save that money so you have money to reinvest in your business. And that can help you. Just that alone, money, get out of your own way. Right? Get out of your own way with money. Get out of your own way with marketing. Get out of your own way with all the things, maybe cold calling or whatever it is that can help to grow your business.    Lau: I'm feeling an Eleanor Roosevelt quote coming on (Anne laughs), and I have to release it --    Anne: I love it.    Lau: — so I don't explode.    Anne: Release it, please.    Lau: Here it is. Here it is. I just have to do it. Okay? It's like, do one thing every day that scares you.    Anne: Oh God, yes. Oh, I love that quote.    Lau: Okay. And I'm not saying, God forbid, don't jump off a building. I'm not saying that. I'm saying within the framework of who we are as talent and as business, do one thing that kicks you a little bit, to do something that's a little uncomfortable that may even really scare you and see what happens on the other end of it.    Anne: I'll tell you, that's hard. That's not an easy thing to do. And especially if you've been doing this for a long time. And there's so many, and I'm sure, Lau, you get this a lot too. I hear from a lot of students how they're, they're stuck in a rut. Or I'll do consult calls. So people will say, I, gosh, I've been in voiceover for years and I'm in this rut. I need help. And this is great because you're reaching out. Right? But when you reach out for that help, you then cannot say to me, okay, I can't do this because of this, or I can't do this because of that. Or can you give me the quick 15-minute answer? No, that's the other thing. In a 15-minute, 20-minute consult call, I can't give you the answer to all of life's issues. Or how to run your VO business. However, I can say, here's what I suggest to help you to get out of your own way.    Lau: And if anything, grab a buddy. Grab accountability buddy. Preferably someone in your business because they get what's going on. They feel it too. They're living it too.    Anne: Oh yeah.    Lau: And move through the tougher experiences together.    Anne: So powerful.    Lau: Like hold each other accountable.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: You know, have that coffee together weekly or biweekly. and say, you are gonna do this and it's a lot of money. And it's kind of scary. Well, did you do it? So let's do it together.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: Sometimes we need that collab. We need that ensemble thing to get us going. I know I'm a creative, I love ensemble. I need that team oftentimes.    Anne: Yeah. Yeah.   Lau: I don't think you have to apologize for that. We're not an isolated being; we don't have to just work alone. We have wonderful people. Like you're on another whole coast, 3000 miles away, and we hold each other accountable to showing up, to giving our all, to caring about our audience, to being awake, to throwing on our lipstick. I mean, that's all hard work. It doesn't look like it is, but it is, because so many would rather lay in bed. They'd rather watch TV. They'd rather go the easy route. Go the difficult route.    Anne: Absolutely.    Lau: You know, challenge yourself; there's a lot better stuff waiting on the other side of that.    Anne: Yeah, absolutely. And I wanna come back to, again, what you said about writing things down. I'm a big believer -- I love that you said to write down the negative thoughts and then cross it out and write, like write the absolute opposite of that.    Lau: Yes.    Anne: Turn that around. And I love that because I'm the person that likes to write and cross things out as I accomplish them and get them done. So if you have those negative thoughts, write them down, cross it out, and turn that thought around. And also with anything that you've done in terms of not just negative thoughts, but in terms of accomplishments, I think writing down your accomplishments can really work wonders for helping you to gain confidence and to get out of your own way. 'Cause I think a lot of times when you get in your way, it stems from fear and it stems from a lack of confidence. And reading something that is solidly written down, an affirmation, or even like meditation every day, right, can really help to beat that negativity out of your brain.    Lau: Hmm. Oh, these are great. And I do, one thing I love that I learned from a wonderful coach that I worked with, do a brain dump. Try to do it every day if you can. It's just a five-minute sitting at your table, your desk, in your car, and I want you to write, write, write, write for five minutes, time yourself, five minutes. Don't pick the pen off the paper. Write, write, write, don't edit, don't critique. Get everything in your head out on paper. And that's gonna feng shui your head, that's gonna empty your head and leave room for focus.    Anne: I love that. Feng shui your head.    Lau: Feng shui your head.    Anne: That's a quote, Lau. Feng shui your head.    Lau: Feng shui your head.   Anne: And get out of your own way. (laughs).    Lau: Because you don't ,believe it or not, you don't have to believe everything that comes into your head. You know? We get backed up. (laughs)    Anne: And the biggest -- ‘cause I took a feng shui course, by the way, back in the day and it was one of the best things I'd ever done, is that clutter? Right? If you have clutter in your house, you have clutter in your brain. And if you have clutter in your brain, I love that. Do a brain dump so that you can then start to think clearly.    Lau: That's right.    Anne: And then start to really focus on what you need to do to get out of your own way, to make that marketing effort, to create that website, to go ahead and get that additional coaching, to audition for that job that you're scared about and out of your comfort zone. Wow. All that good stuff.    Lau: Yeah, 'cause we don't wanna hold so much in our head and be balancing all of that and then try to give output that is like high productivity. It's very hard for us to do that. We have to release certain things and get them out there that are not priority for us or that are sabotaging us. We gotta get it out. Sometimes you even just like clean your desk or rearrange something. You know?    Anne: Absolutely. Or when you come into your studio, clean your studio, or do the brain dump before you do your auditions for the day. I love that.    Lau: It's awesome, it's awesome.    Anne: A lot of times when we're in the middle of an audition, if we're stressed out about other things that are happening, that's coming out in our voice, right? And so we really just need to (breathes), you know, do a brain dump, do a few breathing exercises to relax, and really focus on the story at hand, which is not gonna be like, I don't know, what you need to finish up or when you have to start dinner or what you have to do at home, or what's stressing you out.    Lau: Yeah. And how the things in front of you, whether they're affirmations or mantras, or you just write a little sticky note to yourself to remind yourself -- like one of my famous sticky notes that I love is that I'll just look just for a second and it'll say, you're enough.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: Stop trying to be perfect. Stop trying to be too much. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. You're enough, you're enough. And it's just a quick reminder. Like we need those quick reminders when we're busy and all of that, to not overload ourselves with stressors that are not necessary. They're really concocted stressors that ultimately tear us down and get in the way of our productivity. It stops us.    Anne: And I think also when we meet people, new people, right, I feel as though, I mean, hopefully anyways, I'm a fairly good judge of people, I think. I use a lot of gut instinct and intuition, and I feel as though that personality that I meet when we meet for the first time, if I initially connect to that, that is what I think you need to get to that level in your booth or in your business. Right? That this is who you are, this is your personality. This is, and I always like to say that if your personality comes from a place of service from the heart, I really feel as though that can benefit your performance, that can benefit your business.    If you are coming from a place that doesn't have a bunch of stressors from here and there. And it's really just coming from a place of, let me service this copy. Let me be the best business, let me be the best voice that I can be, and let me network with my client to see how can I help? Instead of coming from a place of what is my talent? I'm not talented enough, or my voice isn't good enough, it needs to come, like, how can I best service my client? How can I best serve my business by bringing myself and my heart of service to it?    Lau: Hmm. Oh gosh. I just love that. That gave me tingles. I love that. That's great. I would even push that even farther. And I would say, find a moment that you can sacrifice or give of yourself in a selfless way, because we wanna be selfish. We wanna be self-centered. We wanna get, get, get. Find a moment where you can authentically give. And that is a moment that when you start doing that, it's kind of painful. But then you get used to it and you say, wow, I got so much in return. So like for instance, when I was a working talent all the time, before I became an agent and a coach, I was working talent, I would talk to people and create all sorts of relationships with casting, and they'd say, you're just not right for this, Lau. I mean, you're just… I'd say, well, right, okay.    Anne: Yeah. And then worry about it ever again.   Lau: Guess what I'd come back with? I had so much chutzpah now that I think about it. (Anne laughs) I'd come back and I'd say, you know what? That's okay. I'm gonna get you the right person. Who do you need? And they couldn't believe I said that to them. They'd be like, well we're, we're looking for this. We'll send you the breakdowns, and maybe you can find some -- I, I always, always would put in referrals.    Anne: And then when they need you, you're the first person at the top of their mind.    Lau: And the funniest part about for me was it became much more satisfaction than getting it for myself. So (laughs)   Anne: Isn't that so telling now that you're an agent?   Lau: It's telling.   Anne: And that's what you do. Right?    Lau: Yeah. It literally built a whole career for me because I started that habit.    Anne: That is so interesting because before my career in voiceover, I used to place students in internships and teach, of course. So everything for me is very telling. I coach now. And I also, I love to place my students on rosters. I love to recommend jobs to them. I love to do referrals, I love to cast. And so I feel like there's that match, right?    Lau: Yes.    Anne: When we know our students or we know our clients and we can put those two together.    Lau: That's right.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: And sometimes, and this is where you and I have spoken about, be interactive, don't be passive about it. Sometimes they're not coming to you. Like sometimes you're just observing that there are people around you that they need to know they need to meet. You know, something about your friends or your talent. Because remember in business, anytime you make a referral or recommendation, and it works out, it makes you look great.    Anne: Oh, absolutely.    Lau: Like you become --   Anne: Oh my gosh, yes.    Lau: — someone that they can't live without. Right?    Anne: Absolutely. So they trust you.   Lau: They trust you.    Anne: People buy from people they know, like, and trust.    Lau: Yes. So don't be afraid and think, oh, but I'm --   Anne: I'm giving a job away.   Lau: — myself.    Anne: I'm giving a job away.    Lau: No, no, no. Because you know what? If they really wanna work with you, they'll work with you.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. But that doesn't mean you're out of the picture. There are many times, especially in live circumstances, where you can do introductions, you can do referrals.    Anne: Sure.    Lau: You can do this and that and just plant the seed. And they may not go for it, but a lot of times they do.    Anne: Yeah.    Lau: And they go, oh my gosh, Lau, you introduced me to this person. This person's amazing. We signed a contract the other day. Do you take a percentage of that? I don't.    Anne: But Lau, you don't. But then sometimes you can.    Lau: So that's a whole job unto itself. (laughs)    Anne: Well, there you go. So look, I'm not gonna say I try to get a dollar for everything, but honestly like that when, when we're talking about the referral and the agenting and then getting other people work, when it turns out to be something profitable, it can also mean profit for you and your business. Now, I'm not saying everything should turn into that, but I mean I've had instances where I've referred clients or I've referred — and I've been offered and I'm like, no, no, no. But it has been insisted by the client that I get some sort of a fee for that. And so, and I think I am worthy. Right? That was a good referral. And both client and talent are now making money off of that or they're being fairly compensated. So I don't entirely dismiss the idea saying, oh no, no, no, no. If somebody's gonna say here, no, I am going to pay, I'm a business short. That's awesome.    Lau: Absolutely.    Anne: And how else can I help you (laughs)?    Lau: Well listen, if you get really good at that and you start doing that a lot, there's all different ways to frame that, whether you do management, whether you do fee for service, whether you do — there's all sorts a way to frame that matchmaking thing that some of us are really good at.,my point is, is like, like just give, just give. Don't worry about giving. You'll get enough back in return.    Anne: Well Karma.    Lau: Karma.    Anne: It's karma. I mean, VO BOSS was started from giving. Literally, if you remember, I tell my story over and over again. I was trying to give up my VO Peeps brand and I was gonna roll it into VO BOSS, 'cause I wanted to continue educating. I wanted this to be a resource, an educational resource for the community. And it turned out to be so much in addition to that, really.    Lau: Yeah.    Anne: Look, I got to meet you. And I mean there's just so many wonderful things that have come from the place of giving, and I really feel that every business needs to have that aspect to — which is a very popular trend these days with businesses too.    Lau: You just brought up a mouthful. The BOSSes would love to know about, without naming any names or titles of anything, you and I met doing an online panel together.    Anne: Oh, yes, we did.    Lau: But here's the thing I want the BOSSes to know. I can't speak for you, Anne, but I didn't make a penny on that.    Anne: No, I didn't. Yeah.    Lau: And that was A-Okay by me because that was education to that company and that community. And I love that. I love that. But look what came out of this.    Anne: Oh yeah, absolutely.    Lau: Look at this relationship that was built out of that.    Anne: Absolutely.    Lau: And this is the example of what we're saying, like karma.   Anne: A place of service, a place from heart.    Lau: Look at this. If we hadn't done that, if we said, look, I'm at a place in our careers, we do make money for everything we do, whatever, we wouldn't have met, we may not met.    Anne: That's true. Very true.    Lau: Isn't that amazing when you think about that.    Anne: There you go. And what a great story. What a great story to end on.    Lau: Very heartwarming.    Anne: Good stuff. BOSSes, get outta your own way. You can do it. Get rid of the clutter that stops you from being the very best you that we know you are. And we know you are the BOSSes. So, all right. Lau, thank you. It's been great.   Lau: Do your thing, thing.   Anne: Yes. It's been great. And so speaking of giving back, right? As individuals, it can be difficult to make a huge impact. But as a group, we can contribute to the growth of our communities and give back in ways that we never thought before possible. Visit 100voiceswhocare.org to learn how. And a big shout-out to my favorite sponsor, ipDTL. You too can network and connect like Lau and myself like BOSSes. Find out more at ipdtl.com. Guys, have a great week. We'll see you next week. Bye!   Join us next week for another edition of VO BOSS with your host Anne Ganguzza. And take your business to the next level. Sign up for our mailing list at voBOSS.com and receive exclusive content, industry revolutionizing tips and strategies, and new ways to rock your business like a BOSS. Redistribution with permission. Coast to coast connectivity via ipDTL.

Puffed wheat – or "Shalva" in Hebrew – is manufactured from whole wheat kernels that are either cooked, baked or air popped. Which Beracha does one recite on puffed wheat? Should one recite "Bore Mine Mezonot," given that this product is made from wheat, or does the fact that the kernels remain whole change their status with respect to the Beracha?The Shulhan Aruch explicitly rules (Orah Haim 208:4; listen to audio for precise citation) that one who eats raw or whole kernels of grain recites the Beracha of "Bore Peri Ha'adama." The Beracha of "Bore Mine Mezonot" is reserved for products made from processed wheat; if one partakes of whole grains, he recites "Ha'adama" just as one would before eating a vegetable.This Halacha applies not only to whole grain cereals such as Puffed Wheat, but also to granola bars, which are made from rolled oats. The grains remain whole throughout the process, and therefore they require the Beracha of "Bore Peri Ha'adama," as opposed to "Bore Mine Mezonot" unless the grains are cooked, which would make the Beracha -Mezonot.Which Beracha Aharona does one recite after eating these foods?The Shulhan Aruch addresses this question in the aforementioned passage and initially rules that after eating whole grains one recites "Bore Nefashot." Since whole grains are not treated as grain products with respect to Berachot, as evidenced by the fact that before eating these foods one recites "Ha'adama," after eating one would recite "Bore Nefashot," as opposed to "Al Ha'mihya" which is recited over grain products.However, after presenting this view, the Shulhan Aruch proceeds to record that the Tosefot (school of French and German Talmud scholars) expressed some ambivalence in this regard. They were unsure as to whether after eating whole grains one should recite the Beracha of "Bore Nefashot" or "Al Ha'mihya." Tosefot therefore advised avoiding this situation by eating whole grains only in the context of a bread meal, so that the Birkat Ha'mazon recited after the meal will cover the grains according to all views. Alternatively, one can eat whole grains together with other foods requiring "Bore Nefashot" and "Al Ha'mihya," such that he would have to recite both Berachot in any event.If one did eat whole grains independently, rather than in a meal or together with other foods, which Beracha Aharona should he recite? People very often eat granola bars as a snack, and two granola bars certainly exceeds the minimum required Shiur (quantity) to warrant the recitation of a Beracha Aharona. Which Beracha should one recite in such a case?This issue is subject to a dispute among the Halachic authorities. Hacham Bension Abba Shaul (Jerusalem, 1923-1998), in his work Or L'sion (vol. 2, p. 127), rules that in such a case one does not recite a Beracha Aharona at all. Since there is some doubt as to whether the proper Beracha is "Bore Nefashot" or "Al Ha'mihya," and neither of these two Berachot satisfies the requirement to recite the other, it is best not to recite any Beracha in such a case. This is also the ruling of Rabbi Moshe Halevi (Israel, 1961-2001), in his work Birkat Hashem (vol. 2, p. 129).Hacham Ovadia Yosef, however, in his work Hazon Ovadia (Laws of Berachot, p. 183), disagrees, and rules that in such a case one should recite "Bore Nefashot," in accordance with the first view cited in the Shulhan Aruch. The Shulhan Aruch here mentions one view anonymously and then cites an authority expressing the contrary opinion. This presentation is known as "Setam Ve'yesh," and a basic rule in studying the Shulhan Aruch establishes that in such instances the Shulhan Aruch viewed the first recorded view as the more authoritative opinion. Hence, in this case, the Shulhan Aruch favored the view requiring that one recite "Bore Nefashot" after partaking of whole grains.At first glance, one might question the Hacham's rationale by noting that this situation is a case of "Safek Berachot," meaning, where the authorities disagree with regard to a Beracha. In such cases, Halacha always requires that one refrain from reciting the Beracha in question – even if the Shulhan Aruch accepts the position that the Beracha is warranted.Hacham Ovadia addresses this question and responds that in this instance, the uncertainty expressed by Tosefot does not suffice to render this a case of "Safek Berachot." Had Tosefot ruled unequivocally that one recites "Al Ha'mihya" after eating whole grains, then we would indeed have been faced with a situation of "Safek Berachot" and would have therefore ruled that no Beracha should be recited. However, Tosefot merely expressed their uncertainty concerning this issue, and this uncertainty cannot undermine the definitive ruling of the Shulhan Aruch that the proper Beracha in such a case is "Bore Nefashot." What more, Hacham Ovadia adds, a large list of Rishonim (Medieval Talmudic scholars) – including the Behag, Rav Saadia Gaon, the Sefer Ha'eshkol, the R'avya, the Rashba, the Rashbatz, the Semag, the Meiri, the Hashlama and the Ritva – concur with the first view cited by the Shulhan Aruch, that one recites "Bore Nefashot" after eating whole grains. Hacham Ovadia even speculates that had Hacham Bension Abba Shaul seen the ruling of all these Rishonim, he would have likely concluded that one should recite "Bore Nefashot" after eating whole grains. Hence, in his view, one who eats whole grains should recite after eating the Beracha of "Bore Nefashot," though it is preferable to avoid this situation as mentioned above.Summary: One who eats whole grain products such as puffed wheat or granola bars recites "Bore Peri Ha'adama" before eating, and, if he ate a "Ke'zayit" or more, "Bore Nefashot" after eating. Preferably, however, one should eat these products only in the context of a bread meal or together with other foods requiring "Bore Nefashot" and "Al Ha'mihya," in order to avoid the Halachic debate concerning the Beracha recited after eating whole grains.

- You must have water to stay alive. Preferably clean water. - What's in your tap water? Lots of added chemicals, heavy metals, micro-plastics and more!!! All well beyond safe levels. But let's not turn this into a conspiracy episode about who and why? We have to stay healthy. Toxins eventually will build up and lead to disease! - SO...what can you do about it? Your basic counter top water filter will not do much. But, don't worry I've got your answers. - Distillers and Reverse Osmosis. What makes these the go to choice of them all? - Electrolytes and minerals. Why you need them and should get them in water. - Also covered: PH water. Structured water, Hydrogen Water. " Thank you all listeners! Please rate, review, share and subscribe! Be a monthly supporter (Link bellow.) Help my show for $1 a month! I can't do it without you. I appreciate every one of you. Much love! " - Support this podcast: - Links to Support/Podcasts/Social platforms/E-mail/ & other info at: https://linktr.ee/keepitrealjayscott - Other ways you can be a supporter of my show. A one time tip! $1 or $10,000-LOL, Type my ID listed to find me on.... - Venmo @ Jay-Scott-Mo - PayPal @ jmgymjunkie - Or Email me direct @ contactkeepingitreal@gmail.com Send questions, comments-positive or negative, want to be a guest... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jay-morris9/support

We find different practices among the Sepharadiim with regard to the custom to refrain from haircutting (and, for many, shaving) during the Omer period to commemorate the tragic death of Rabbi Akiva's 24,000 students. One practice follows the ruling of the Shulchan Aruch which permits haircutting from the 34th day of the Omer, meaning, the day following Lag Ba'omer. There is some discussion as to whether this position would allow haircutting already during the night after Lag Ba'omer, since in Halacha the new day begins at night, or if the prohibition continues until the morning of the 34th day of the Omer. The rationale underlying the second possibility is that the principle of "Miktzat Ha'yom Ke'kulo," which allows us to consider part of a day equivalent to a complete day, applies only in the daytime hours. Indeed, Halacha generally follows this second view, and thus those who observe the Shulchan Aruch's ruling may take haircuts (and shave, for those who refrain from shaving during the Omer) only from the morning of the 34th day of the Omer. (See Hazon Ovadya, Yom Tob, page 261.)Children, however, may take haircuts already on the day of Lag Ba'omer. Many follow the custom – which is indeed a proper custom to observe – to cut a boy's hair for the first time on the third Lag Ba'omer after his birth. Those who follow this custom may cut the child's hair on the third Lag Ba'omer, and need not wait until the next day.With regard to haircutting for women, the practice among the Sepharadim is to allow women to have their hair cut throughout the Omer period, even before Lag Ba'omer.The Arizal (Rabbi Yitzchak Luria, Israel, 1534-1572) advanced a much different approach, viewing the entire Omer period as a period of judgment and as a type of "Chol Ha'mo'ed" between the festivals of Pesach and Shavuot. He therefore held that one may not cut his hair or shave throughout the entire Omer period, until Erev Shavuot. Everyone should follow the practice he is accustomed to observing. (See Hazon Ovadya, Yom Tob, page 264.)As per Hacham BenSion it is permissible to recite the Beracha of She'hecheyanu – such as over a new suit – during the period of the Omer.From which point may a wedding be held during the Omer period?Chacham Ovadia Yosef rules that under extenuating circumstances, such as when the wedding cannot be held on a different day, one may get married on the night after Lag Ba'omer (the night of the 34th day of the Omer). Preferably, however, one should not get married until the night after the 34th of the Omer. This is indeed the Minhag. (See Hazon Ovadya, Yom Tob, page 254.)Lag Ba'omer is observed as a festive day to celebrate the great contribution of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai in authoring the Zohar and thereby making a profound impact upon the world. As such, even though we refrain from haircutting until after Lag Ba'omer, it is permissible to listen to music on Lag Ba'omer (assuming, of course, that the music is appropriate) only in order to celebrate the occasion. Otherwise, music is forbidden until the 34th day.Summary: Some Sephardim have the practice to refrain from haircutting and shaving throughout the Omer, until Erev Shavuot, while others permit haircutting and shaving on the day following Lag Ba'omer. Women may cut their hair even before Lag Ba'omer, and three-year-old boys may have their first haircut on Lag Ba'omer itself. One may recite She'hecheyanu during the Omer. Weddings should not be held until the day following Lag Ba'omer, though under extenuating circumstances one may get married on the night after Lag Ba'omer. One may listen to music already on Lag Ba'omer only as part of the celebration of this festive day.

NOT ALL CITIES! Must have or use a hidden cam w/ audio, must complete free easy online training, must submit the paperwork on time. If you don't have your own cam the company will send one BUT it can take longer to wait on them to ship the gear. You aren't required to buy anything. But you are given the opportunity to make about $5-$10 more per gig by using your own cam. Preferably you might need a car but they don't screen for this. It would just be ideal if you plan to do many gigs per day. THIS GIG WILL DRY UP in all full transparency! And they do review footage and paperwork and payment depends on guidelines followed and quality of footage for hiring person to approve your work. Also note the payouts! There are deadlines to send the materials of completed gigs. And payments are issued NOT IMMEDIATELY. https://www.ishopforipsos.com/en_US/ COURSE CAREERS AFFILIATE LINK: https://account.coursecareers.com/ref/29926/ COURSE CAREERS DISCOUNT CODE: FOR $50 OFF: IGZDVLGJSK

Regarding one law that is applicable this year. Because the holiday is falling out on a Thursday and Friday, and we're going straight into Shabbat, Halacha does tell us that it is forbidden to cook from Yom Tov to Shabbat. Even though Friday is Yom Tov and we are allowed to cook according to the Halachot of Yom Tov, but one would not be allowed to prepare the food on Friday for the Friday night Shabbat, unless one prepared Eruv Tavshilin on Erev Pesach, which this year would be Wednesday. Wednesday before the holiday, Halacha says; you take a slice of Matzah that at least has the shiur of a kezayit and you take a hard boiled egg, and make sure its cooked well, and you place them on the side, and you make the Beracha, "Asher Kidishanu Bemitzvotav Vitsivanu Al Mitzvat Eruv", and then you recite; "Biden Eruva….", ‘With this Eruv that I am making, it would be permissible for me to cook, and to bake, and to carry, and to do all my needs for Yom Tov to Shabbat.' So Eruv Tavshilin is vital in order to make those preparations. Now, it should be pointed out, Eruv Tavshilin while it helps you for Friday to Shabbat, it does not help from one Yom Tov to the next. This means, if let's say, someone is having a Seder by their home on Thursday night, which is the 2nd night of Yom Tov, and now they want to start preparing Thursday afternoon, cooking the rice, and preparing some of the foods, so that when the people come home Thursday night its all ready- It's Forbidden. We're not allowed to prepare from one Yom Tov to another! We must wait until its dark outside, and then you can start cooking for the holiday. So this Eruv only allows you to start preparing food Thursday night or Friday for the Shabbat meal. Of course the cooking and the preparations have to be finished obviously before Shabbat.Now, in the event one forgets to make the Eruv Tavshilin, Halacha tells us that the Rabbi of the City, of every city knowing that people forget or don't know, he has in mind when he makes his Eruv to include all the dwellers in the city. So Bediavad, if you forgot to make Eruv Tavshilin, you're still OK, as you can rely on the Rabbi's Eruv. However, you cannot rely on the Rabbi's Eruv Lachatchila. Which means you can't say; ‘I'm not making an Eruv, and I'm too busy, and I'm relying on the Rabbi's.' That does not work. It only works in the case where you made a mistake, or you forgot or there were circumstances where you couldn't do the Eruv.Of course you place the Eruv in a safe place and Halacha says you have to be careful that you don't eat it until after you finish your cooking on Friday for Shabbat. Halacha says, let's say you ate or somebody ate it, then now your Eruv is invalid, so either you have to rely on the Rabbi's Eruv, or Halacha says you can make Eruv Tavshilin on the 1st day of Yom Tov. It's an interesting Case. Let's say you remember on the 1st day of Yom Tov, this year being Thursday that you didn't make Eruv Tavshilin, you could then still make it. However, you have to say the following condition. The condition is we have 2 days of Yom Tov, and Yom Tov is really on Thursday or on Friday. We keep 2 days out of Safek, but one of the days is actually Yom Tov and one of the days is really Chol, so we make the following condition: ‘If today is Yom Tov, and therefore I would not be allowed to make an Eruv on Yom Tov, then no problem, because you don't need an Eruv, because tomorrow, Friday would really be a weekday, and you're allowed to cook a weekday to Shabbat. So again, if today is Yom Tov, then you really don't need an Eruv. However, if today is Chol, then you're allowed to make an Eruv, and then you make the Eruv, so that Friday you can cook for Shabbat, and when tomorrow is Yom Tov, so therefore you make this condition. Once you make this condition the Eruv then works even on Yom Tov Rishon (1st day), but you do not make a Beracha.Halacha says when should you eat the Eruv? Preferably you eat it on Shabbat, and the custom is to eat at Seudat Shelishit. You take the Matzah and the egg in order to do another Mitzvah. The Gemarah says that since you're doing one Mitzvah, you want to recycle it and do another Mitzvah. Again you should remind the ladies or the men, as its not specifically a lady's item, that one should prepare the Eruv Tavshilin on Wednesday afternoon, and one should set it aside and fulfill this most important Mitzvah.It's a trivia question - What's the only Beracha that Lechatchila, you could only make on a Wednesday? And that's the Beracha of Al Mitzvat Eruv.

A special show for my birthday. We're in conversation with one of my favorite new authors, Tara Schuster, who wrote the acclaimed, wildly popular book Buy Yourself the Fucking Lilies. She will soon release her highly anticipated new book Glow in the F*cking Dark: Simple Practices to Heal Your Soul, from Someone Who Learned the Hard Way. I am reading it now and in true Tara style, the book is raw, relatable, and full of wisdom. She and I discuss easy ways to heal your deepest wounds, getting off your “good enough” plateau, and the power in loneliness. Visit my Instagram to learn how to enter to win a free copy of her new book. And if you'd like to enter to win a copy of Ramit Sethi's I Will Teach You to Be Rich Journal: — LEAVE A REVIEW in Apple podcasts. Preferably a review of one of Ramit's appearances on So Money.  And/Or — CREATE A FAN POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA. This can be a video, reel, feed post on Instagram or TikTok. Tags:  Instagram: @farnoooshtorabi and @ramit TikTok @farnooshsomoney and @ramit.sethi  Giveaways announced February 19th, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Exhausted. Burned out. Stressed. Overwhelmed—moms everywhere are tired and in desperate need of a nap, shower, or some alone time. Preferably all three. As a bestselling author, founder of a widely popular enterprise, top podcast host—and busy mom of six—Crystal Paine should be exhausted. Or at least overwhelmed. But she's not. In fact, she's thriving - and she's here to share some of her best tips with you. Crystal shares: how to simplify and make decision-making easier, her four-step system for feeling less frazzled, advice for people who think implementing a system sounds overwhelming and more. -------------------------------Links Discussed in This EpisodeOrder a Copy of Minimalist Moms: Living and Parenting with SimplicityBeneficial Resource: Atomic Habits by James ClearCan't Stop Talking About: Clean Angel Miraculous CleanerConnect with Crystal:o   https://moneysavingmom.como   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MoneySavingMom o   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themoneysavingmom/ o   Twitter: https://twitter.com/moneysavingmom o   Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/msmblog/_created/ o   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/moneysavingmomShow Notes for EP261: Time-Saving Tips for Overwhelmed MomsEnjoy this Podcast?Post a review and share it! If you enjoyed tuning into this podcast, then do not hesitate to write a review. You can also share this with your fellow mothers so that they can be inspired to think more and do with less. Order (or review) my recent book, Minimalist Moms: Living & Parenting With SimplicityQuestions? You can contact me through my website, find me on Instagram, or like The Minimalist Moms Page on Facebook.Thanks for listening! For more updates and episodes, visit the website. You may also tune in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or Stitcher.Checkout the Minimalist Moms Podcast storefront for recommendations from Diane.If you enjoyed today's episode of the Minimalist Moms Podcast, then hit subscribe and share it with your friends!Episode Sponsors |The Minimalist Moms Podcast would not be possible without the support of weekly sponsors. Choosing brands that I believe in is important to me. I only want to recommend brands that I believe may help you in your daily life. As always, never feel pressured into buying anything. Remember: if you don't need it, it's not a good deal!Armoire | Right now my listeners can give Armoire a try and get up to 50% off their first month, that's up to $125 OFF! Just visit armoire.style/Minimalist.Earth Breeze | Minimalist Mom listeners can subscribe and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/minimalist to get started! ZocDoc | Visit zocdoc.com/minimalist to find doctors and specialists in your area for FREE!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/minimalist-moms-podcast2093/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This Friday: How to rebuild your finances in the aftermath of a divorce, the ins and outs of 529 plans, how adult kids can engage their aging parents in a discussion about their retirement and long-term financial plans and a credit card conundrum. Mentioned on the show: Check out todaytix.com for deals on theatre tickets. To enter to win an I Will Teach You to Be Rich journal by Ramit Sethi: — LEAVE A REVIEW in Apple podcasts. Preferably a review of one of Ramit's appearances on So Money. And/Or — CREATE A FAN POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA. This can be a video, reel, feed post on Instagram or TikTok. Tags: Instagram: @farnoooshtorabi and @ramit TikTok @farnooshsomoney and @ramit.sethi Giveaway ends on February 19th, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

January 6th, 2023, will be our 16th Wedding Anniversary. And with that, we wanted to share 16 of the best pieces of marriage advice and marriage tips we have learned along the way. These pieces of marriage advice have revolutionized our marriage in many ways, and some of them even played a large part in saving our marriage from divorce.Please let us know which piece of advice was your favorite by leaving us a podcast review. A summary of our marriage tips.Pray, A lot!Most likely, you are the one who is wrong.We are finite, limited creatures.Take the next right stepYou and your spouse are on the same teamYour spouse is your type.We are both sinners, and we both need JesusThe Gospel heals allNever talk badly about your spouse in front of others, especially to family. They don't forgetYou and your spouse are on the inside, and everyone else is on the outside. (boundaries0Have fun MORE with each other.Schedule a consistent date night.Have close married friendsNever stop learning about your spouseLearn to forgive quicklyHave children together or adopt!PRAYER FOR YOUR MARRIAGEDear Lord, Thank You for our marriage. Thank You for the opportunities you give us every day to love each other well. We pray we would be wise couples who cling to truth. We pray we would listen to sound marriage advice and apply it. We pray you would continue to mature us and shape our marriage relationship. Increase our ability to love and be known by each other. When fear or doubt creeps into our minds, we pray Your truth will cover us with peace. Please use our marriage to bless each other and use us as a team to bring you glory as we support and encourage other marriages around us.In Jesus' name AMEN! READ TRANSCRIPTJennifer (00:09):Hi, and welcome to the Marriage After God podcast. Aaron (00:12):We're your hosts Aaron Jennifer Smith. Jennifer (00:13):We have been married 15 years and have five sweet children who are growing up way too fast. Aaron (00:18):We love God and we love marriage, Jennifer (00:20):And we love to be honest about it Aaron (00:21):All. Marriage is not always a walk in the park, but we do believe it has a powerful purpose. So Jennifer (00:26):Our goal here is to open up the conversation to talk about our faith and our marriage, Aaron (00:30):Especially in light of the gospel. Jennifer (00:32):We certainly don't have all the answers, but if you stick around, we may just make you Aaron (00:35):Laugh. But our hope is to encourage you to chase boldly after God's purpose for your life together. Jennifer (00:39):This is after God. Aaron (00:47):Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Marriage After God podcast. I'm Aaron Smith. I'm Jennifer (00:52):Jennifer . I'm Jennifer. Aaron (00:55):I'm Jennifer (00:56):Jennifer. I'm Jennifer. Now. I don't know what my regular is at calling. I'm Jennifer. Aaron (01:01):And we're back for another episode. Episode 12. This is the last episode of season six. Jennifer (01:05):We made it Aaron (01:08):Thinking Made what? . Well, it's not Jennifer (01:10):Easy. This is a big deal for Aaron and I jumping back into podcasting. But we love it and we were already starting to talk about what's up for next season, which will come out early spring. Aaron (01:21):And I'm always like, babe, I wanna get all new equipment. I want to redo our push. She's like, the content's more important. I'm like, . You're right. It's Jennifer (01:28):True though. They're all agreeing with me right now. They are. Okay. So in today's episode, we are going to share our top 10, just kidding, 16 bits of advice we have learned over the 16 years we've been married. Aaron (01:42):One, I did one for each Jennifer (01:43):Year. No, it's great. Okay. It makes sense. I don't know why I said 10. I think it's Cuz most things are like a top 10 Yeah. Thing. But Aaron (01:51):This is 16. It's even, it's six better, Jennifer (01:54):Yeah. Aaron (01:54):16 years. Jennifer (01:55):I think I added one at the bottom. So maybe 17.  Aaron (01:59): a bonus. Jennifer (02:00):It's really how to do all of them. Okay. You'll see. Okay. But before we do that, we must give you our sponsor update. So Aaron and I have written many books, Marriage Resources for You, actually, not even just marriage prayer resources for your son and daughter, for your husband and wife. We have devotionals. We Aaron (02:25):Are praying for your future husband and future wife, Jennifer (02:28):For anyone listening that might Aaron (02:29):Be engaged or know someone engaged. Jennifer (02:32):We also have some traditionally published books, including The Unveiled Wife, which is the beginning of our marriage story and what God walked us through and marriage after God, which is all about your purpose for your marriage. And the reason I'm telling you all of this is because 2023 is right around the corner. And some people like to start off with a bang and start off with something in their hands to encourage them every day to grow closer to God or grow close, closer to their spouse or to their children. And start off the new year. Right? Start off the new year with something tangible to encourage and inspire and move you forward. Right? So move you forward. Move you forward. No, I said it right. So yeah, I just wanted to let you guys know that there are a handful of resources out there for you, from us. Aaron, why don't you tell them where they can get them. Aaron (03:23):You can go to shop dot marriage after god.com and you can get all those books that we wrote. These books. Because when we started this ministry started this business, our thought was we didn't want to just create any old product, something to support ourselves. We wanted to actually produce something Jennifer (03:39):That met a need Aaron (03:40):That and was meaningful and transformative and purposeful. And that's what we did with these books is we wanted to inspire your prayer life. We wanted to get you into a daily devotional. And we used marriage for the most part as the focus of all that to draw you closer to God and to your spouse. And so if you wanna support this ministry, if you wanna support this podcast go pick up a book and tell someone about it. If you already have our books, we just wanna say thank you because you've there. There's so many people that have gotten our books and have told us what they've meant to them. And we just wanna thank you for that. So if you already do have the book or one of our books, get another one of our books maybe. Or tell someone about 'em a big way to support the ministry as well, Jennifer (04:23):Or to go another step grab husband and wife after God and tell another couple to get husband and wife after God or get it for them. And then you guys go through it together. And then once a week or once every other week, talk about it. We've Aaron (04:38):Actually had a lot of marriages start small home groups with our devotionals. And I think that would be an amazing thing to do. Last episode, we talked a lot about getting close with other believers, getting in community. This is a great way to start that. Yeah. Jennifer (04:54):Because you have a purpose. You have something to work with. To align Aaron (04:57):With. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, that was it. Topic today, 16, Jennifer (05:03):Moving right along Aaron (05:04):16 years and 16 little bits of advice. Jennifer (05:10):Although when I was going through this list that we've made there was one that came very early on in the marriage that you did not put on here. It's the one that stands out to me. Should we one of these? No, I don't wanna replace any of 'em because it's kind of funny doesn't, not real advice, but maybe it is for some. Oh, what is Aaron (05:27):It? Just, we'll start off with this. Jennifer (05:29):It was a newlywed piece of advice. Someone says to us, if you're going to fight naked, oh yeah. Do you remember that? Yes. Somebody really told us this. And Aaron (05:39):We've had many fights. , naked. I was going to say it. You, Jennifer (05:44):You're like, don't do it. But is it too much to say that there was a time in the beginning of our marriage where it became a joke? It was a joke. I Aaron (05:53):Know. It was also serious. So whoever came up with that advice, didn't know how stubborn someone could be. It didn't matter how naked you are, you could be holding on. You're like, no. Okay. Not Jennifer (06:05):Giving in. Anyways. Hopefully some of you are Aaron (06:07):Fight naked. Yeah, right now. That's the only advice we got for all of our 16 years. Jennifer (06:15):It's not what it's It's brought us this far. Aaron (06:16):It's brought us this far. Guys, . Jennifer (06:19):All right. On a serious note coming in. Oh yep. Coming in at number one, Aaron (06:25): number one. And if you have been following us for any length of time, you should know this one. And the first tip, it is Jennifer (06:35):The most important one. Aaron (06:37):It is the most important Jennifer (06:38):One. Aaron (06:39):Now I beg, should we have put it at the end? Nope. Nope. We're going to just start right off with it. Pray Jennifer (06:45):A lot, A lot. Exclamation mark. Aaron (06:48):Yeah. This is not like, thank you Lord for the food, which you should pray for your food. You should thank Lord for your food. I'm saying pray for everything. It should be so common in your marriage that it is not an awkward, weird thing for you. Would you agree? Jennifer (07:02):Yeah, of course. We have friends of ours who they live outta state, not in our state. And whenever we are in conversation with them, they talk about how they in that week we're knelt down on the floor, face down, crying before the Lord in prayer for each other or for their family. And they had a lot of challenges with just their family and they went through a lot of adoption and stuff with their kids. That was just hard. But I was always encouraged when I heard that their response to it all is prayer, was not just prayer, but they're on their knees, they're face down, praying to the Lord, plea petitioning for his help and support. And then they'd have these wild stories of how God spoke to them or used someone else to encourage them or sent something that they needed and covered things. And it was just, I don't know why that just came to my mind and really inspired me. So I wanted to share Aaron (08:02):It and not just praying when it's hard. I think that's often where we end up in prayer is we're in a hard thing. But pray for everything. Pray with your kids for the good things. Be vocal in front of your wife and in front of your spouse about the things that are on your heart before the Lord. Some notes I have here is regularly going before God with your spouse, for your spouse helps grow you and your spouse. You get to communicate with each other to God. And something that's really neat about that is when you're pla praying out loud, often your spouse gets to hear things that are in inside your heart that have not come out yet. Things that you're concerned about, things that you care about, things that you wanna lift to the Lord. Jennifer (08:54):So there's a revealing, a knowing, proc Aaron (08:57):It. It's exactly what it is. The Bible talks a lot about this being known by God or rather or says knowing God or rather being known by God. It's a powerful thing. So when you're doing this with your spouse, it adds a immensely deep spiritual layer to the knowledge you have of your spouse and with your spouse. Jennifer (09:18):And the more consistent you do it, the easier it becomes. And I just wanted say that because I think sometimes our flesh gets in the way or it feels uncomfortable to pray together. But the more you practice, the more you do, the easier it does become. And I was just thinking as we were talking about prayer, I was thinking about Edie lately. She's just been jumping on the tail end of anyone's prayer. Thank you God for everything. Aaron (09:41):Yeah. She wants to pray every time. And I love it. So prayer, pray a lot make it easier. And I don't wanna put another ad, but I'm one of the reasons we wrote 31 prayers for my Husband through one prayers for my wife is to help in this area, is to be a catalyst and inspiration for your prayer life. To inspire the types of things that you could, should be desired to be praying about. Which Jennifer (10:04):I really like. I really like the subtitle for those books. It's seeing God move in his heart, seeing God move in her heart. Aaron (10:11):Because you're intentionally looking for God to move. You're like, okay, God, which I love. Yeah, I love that. What's number two? Jennifer (10:17):Number two, Aaron (10:18):Tip two, advice two, little snippet. Jennifer (10:21):Most likely always no . Most likely you are the one who is wrong. Aaron (10:27):Okay, let me reiterate that. So this only goes for those that are listening. Most likely you are the one who is wrong. Okay. Ouch. Think about it. But both of you're looking at each other right now. No, I'm talking to you when you fight, when you're in an argument whether or not you think you're Jennifer (10:48):Right. Okay. Even if it's not a fight or an argument, maybe it's a way of doing something like loading the dishwasher. Aaron (10:54):No, don't throw Jennifer (10:56):That in. No, no. I'm just saying cuz it's funny because Aaron (10:58):Usually I'm right when it comes to the Jennifer (11:00):Dishwasher. Aaron thinks I lo the dishwasher wrong and he comes behind me and fixes it. But I'm being completely honest, I'm not, what I'm saying is Aaron (11:06):I'm being completely honest. That's an objective thing I can bring, bring someone in and we'll evaluate or ways of, I'm Jennifer (11:12):Just kidding. I'm just saying it's not always a fighter an argument. Sometimes it's just a way of being or a thought pattern or a habit. You Aaron (11:18):Know what I mean? Yeah. The advice is specifically in a fight or an argument when there's strife. Strife, yeah. When you're walking in strife, it doesn't even matter if you are right. We're called not to walk in strife. Strife is a flesh response. Jennifer (11:35):We're called to be peacemakers. Aaron (11:36):It's sin. So I often, Jennifer and I will be, if we're having a disagreement and I could just feel the Holy Spirit telling me, why are you fighting? Why are you disagree? Why are you filled? Why are you all browed up, Aaron? And I'm like, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. Jennifer (11:55):Then why does it take you so long to tell me that ? I don't know, Jennifer. I don't know. Aaron (12:01):But most likely you're the wrong one who's wrong? And here's the benefit of knowing this. If you both think this man, there'll be much less fights. And if there is a argument, it'll be way shorter. Cuz it'll be so much quicker to be like, Hey, I'm so sorry. I'm wrong. Which is a pretty good way to diffuse any bite. True. I'm wrong. Yeah. That's what I've been trying to say, Jennifer (12:26):. All right. Number three, we are finite limited creatures. Yes we are. Aaron (12:31):We did a podcast about this, I think in season one. Jennifer (12:35):I think we've hit it in every season actually in different ways Aaron (12:38):Because it matters. We forget so quickly how incapable we are of doing everything we want to do. Jennifer, do you have 50 things currently always running through you? The list of your mind always that you wanna do right now? Yes. That you can't do? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Always. We're finite. And the reason this is a good bit of advice for you in your marriage is twofold. If you wife or husband, I'm not going to say who more regularly. They're Jennifer (13:07):Both wrong. So Aaron (13:08):Yeah, they're both wrong than better. Have this list of things that you want to do. It doesn't matter what they are. And you don't realize that you can't possibly do all of it either right now or in the near fu future, but yet you pursue 'em. You're going to push your family and your spouse burnout in a way that's unhealthy and impossible to deal with. Jennifer (13:34):And then you will also meet the devastating effect of unmet expectation and disappointment Aaron (13:44):Every time. But if you recognize, so a piece of advice that gets attached to this device is if you want something, let's say you wanna learn a new skill. I want to play guitar. Jennifer, you want, you're learning guitar Jennifer (13:58):When you get a chance, I want to learn guitar. It's one of the things on the list. Aaron (14:02):It's going to take a sacrifice somewhere else because you can't do that. And everything else you have on your list currently. Jennifer (14:08):That's true. Aaron (14:09):Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. And that doesn't mean there's not something on your list that you should get rid of . Because often we fill our time with things that we want to be doing. So if there is something that we wanna do, if there's something that you wanna do with your spouse, then you gotta be real. And you gotta evaluate the things that you're currently doing, the things that you currently fill your time with. And you gotta pick and choose. And that's just a reality is you're a finite limited creature that if you wanna do something over here, then something over there has to give. Yeah. And that's just the reality of Jennifer (14:42):Life. I watched something and they were talking about how we have all these things that we wanna do and because it's our desire to do them, we do pieces of them here, here, but then we start, we'll never do anything. But we never actually do the things that we want. We never, same thing. It's never completed or brought to, there's no closure in it because we didn't ever do it fully. We just did a piece of it. And then we run ourselves into the ground and we're tired and emotionally spent because we're trying to do a million things at once. And the encouragement was if there's something that you can do everything, maybe not. So just do one everything time as long as you do one thing at a time. And so take the first thing that you really wanna accomplish and just focus on that one thing until it's done. And so maybe that also will help bring perspective into this. Aaron (15:31):Yeah. Jennifer (15:32):Point. Good. Yeah. Aaron (15:34):Okay, number four, tip number four. Something that we learned and currently still have to learn all the time. It's Jennifer (15:41):Like an everyday thing. Aaron (15:42):Take the next right step. And what that means is we make a mistake. We said the wrong thing again, we dropped the ball in this area of our marriage, whatever it is, you fill in the blank, you mistepped, right? There's lots of things, what the enemy wants to do, what our flesh wants to do. Sometimes what our spouse says even is like, well you're never going to change. You're just never, you're always going to be at the same. This is who you are. Jennifer (16:17):Or shut down or run away. Aaron (16:20):And instead of doing the next right thing, we do another wrong thing. And the advice is when we fall, we stand up and we say, okay, I may not be able to take back that thing that I just did that misstep, but I can at least try and take the next right step. And what it does is it, it's how the believers believers should walk is that we just keep moving forward. Jennifer (16:49):Is that next right step? Even if we know that it's right, going to feel hard. Aaron (16:54):Yes. Yeah. Cuz sometimes we have some pretty serious consequences to decisions we make, but we don't want, back when I used to be addicted to certain things and had certain sin habits, one thing would happen and I say, well, I might as well do the next thing because I did that one thing and I convinced myself that I should just keep going. That's taking the next wrong step. Jennifer (17:21):Justification for Aaron (17:23):What you do to continuing and sin. So the point is the advice. Don't take that thing you did wrong and make it as an excuse to do another wrong thing. Jennifer (17:33):So how do you filter through your choices and say, okay, this is the next right step. Aaron (17:39):So let's say I lied to you, which I don't, but let's say I did. I don't lie again. I say, okay, I lied. I can't take the lie back. I can reveal that I lied. That's the next right thing. I can repent of that lie. That's the next right thing. I can let my wife know that I'm going to not lie to her again. That's the next right thing. I'm going to continue to pray about why I lied and what led me to that lie. That's the next right thing. But not saying something, that's not the next right thing. That's the next wrong thing. Trying to cover it up. That's the next wrong thing. Trying to justify it. That's the next wrong thing. Trying to minimize it. That's the next wrong thing. So just doing the next right thing, even no matter how hard. Jennifer (18:25):So I feel like you kind of simplified a very intense internal dialogue that one would have after sinning. And so I guess to back it up even further, what place spiritually does a person need to be in to even fill those convictions or understand that process of thought of how you just went through it? Aaron (18:45):I don't know. Jennifer (18:46):Because isn't that the most important thing? I think that to know what the right step is, Aaron (18:50):Well being in the word of God and listening to the Holy Spirit and feeling that conviction from the Lord and just not compounding the wrong things. Because we're going to make mistakes and just know that we're going to make mistakes. But let's not want to make more mistakes because we made right mistakes. Jennifer (19:10):And allow yourself to enter into that place where you're having a conversation with yourself. Oh man, I just messed up. This is the trajectory I wanna go. This is how to get there instead of avoiding that whole thing because it feels hard. Yeah. Yeah. Aaron (19:26):What's piece of advice? Number five? Jennifer (19:28):Number five, you and your spouse are on the same team. This is a good one. And you actually say this out loud, especially when we're going through a hard time or if we are not on the same page about something or mm-hmm. Strife. Yep. They're strife. You're very quick to call out, Hey remember we're on the same team. I've always appreciated that about you. Aaron (19:49):Sometimes I say it with an attitude. Jennifer (19:51):Yeah. But you believe it. and it's con, I believe, and it's convincing. Aaron (19:54):But the power of remembering you're on the same team is, I mean you, everyone's heard the adage divided and conquer. And the Bible even says that a city divided against itself cannot stand a marriage that's divided, cannot stand. If you're constantly thinking, I'm against her, she could. She's against me. We're not on the same page. We're not on the same team. Not going to No, you're not going to win. Yeah. You, you've already lost. Yeah. But you remind yourselves, you're on a team man, that that'll motivate and change every decision you make in your life when you're having, you are having strife, you'll remember, man, I'm angry, but I need to work on how angry I am right now. Cause I don't wanna be angry with my teammate. Yeah. She's my partner, she's my friend, she's my wife. Jennifer (20:40):And to know that you'll be so ineffective. Aaron (20:42):Oh yeah. So knowing you're on the same team, it keeps you it safe in spiritual attack. It's a so much a safer place to be. Even when it comes from the attacks from the world, maybe outside relationships who knows? You name it. Being on the same team makes life so much safer, better Jennifer (21:02):And funner and more powerful, emotionally more stable. Just encouraged. Aaron (21:06):Yeah. You name it all around. Jennifer (21:08):All benefit. Good. Aaron (21:09):Yeah. Oh, especially in parenting. Oh yeah. Oh man. Team, you Jennifer (21:13):Have to be on Aaron (21:14):Team. You have to have the same team. Team. Oh man. Okay. Number six, your spouse. Okay, I have to build this up. Your spouse is your type. Jennifer (21:29):This Aaron (21:29):Seems Jennifer (21:29):Obvious. Who you're attracted to. Aaron (21:31):Yeah. Just, okay Jennifer (21:35):Explain. Aaron (21:35):A friend of mine, Ryan Frederick from fierce marriage.com, he wrote an article about this years ago just talking about how your spouse, he talked about his wife being his standard of beauty. Okay. But that goes both ways. Not just attractiveness, but everything. The kind of man that I am, my hobbies, my things that I enjoy, that's your type. There is no other person out. There's not another man out there that is going to fit your type better than I me. And what I'm saying by this is that's how we should see ourselves. There is no other girl out there for me. There is no other type of woman. There is no other standard of beauty. But you are my standard. There is no, so what that does is if I see a beautiful woman out in public, it doesn't matter. I'll be like, oh, that's not my wife. My wife is beautiful. Jennifer (22:28):Okay. I was just, my question was going to be, is this advice for the person who is thinking, Aaron (22:37):Well, many Jennifer (22:38):Different, well, I guess Aaron (22:39):It's for both many different levels. There could be a lot of discontentment in a marriage of why can't my husband be more like so and Jennifer (22:46):So? Okay, so comparison. Aaron (22:48):Why can't my wife be more like, yeah. Jennifer (22:50):But then there's also the insecurity of one person and how they think their spouse views them. So it's for Aaron (22:57):Both. And then on a deeper, more sinful level, someone who's unsatisfied in their relationship and is looking mm-hmm. Right. For something else like, oh, I'm not satisfied with this person. They should be something else because there's this other person over here that does this and looks like this and sounds like this and that. But our spouse, Jennifer, are my standard of beauty and everything that a woman is to me and vice versa. I am your standard. Jennifer (23:24):This which, okay, go ahead. No, you go ahead. I was going to say continually changes because we're changing. We're constantly changing. And so your standard of beauty for me is increases as I increase with mm-hmm. age and knowledge and Oh, Aaron (23:40):I saw the beauty, speaking of what you just said, sorry, I, my Jennifer (23:43):Body. Yeah. Aaron (23:44):I saw the sweetest. It was a post someone did on Insta on Instagram. And it showed this vile person saying how if their wife ever let their themselves go after marriage, he would leave her. But then it goes from that statement to a guy saying, I'm a photographer. And my wife asked me one time that, why don't I edit her pictures of pictures of her, the way I edit other people's pictures. And I was so confused by it. And she says, well, you get rid of all their flaws and you make them look perfect. And he said, and he, he's thinking, he's thinking. He's like, then I realized I don't edit. I don't do that with her because I don't see those flaws. Everything I see in her I see is our history as everything that's happened to her, all the changes are because we have children together and be because, so it's all those things that she sees as flaws I see as symbols of my love for her. (24:36):Mm-hmm. Is everything that she means to me. Good. And he was crying and I was so good. And that's what made me think of this is that over time we do change. And we don't have a previous standard of like, well you once were this way and you've just lost it. No, you currently are my standard abuse and I love you and I love everything about you. And that doesn't mean that we can't in desire transformation for each other or better men in any areas. But all that to say your spouse is your standard. And as long as we keep that in mind, it actually protects us from a lot of temptations. And also and feeling inadequate. And it goes back to what we talked about last episode, of constantly wanting to affirm our spouse in their beauty, in their character, and all of those things that are good and beautiful and that we love. So Jennifer (25:25):Good. Yeah. What number are we on? Oh seven. We are both sinners and we both need Jesus every Aaron (25:33):Day. No, some of us need more Jesus than others. No, that's the point of this is we're both sinners and we both need Jesus. I think a lot of the times we might calculate, I should say, or evaluate our own shortcomings, our own sins. Much more different than we evaluate our spouses. So like, oh yeah, sure, I've done this, but you did this and this and this. Hold Jennifer (26:02):On, they're going to think I talked to you like that. Aaron (26:04):No, I'm mimicking some other family, not you at all. So no, I'm not mimicking you, I'm just, but that's kind of what we do. We have this dialogue with ourselves of well sure, cuz no one's going to say they're perfect. Maybe someone does. But sure I have this thing over here. But that thing you do, that's the thing that is more important to focus on. And we're going to pick at that. And again, this doesn't mean that we can't call out sin each other and that we shouldn't do that. But it's seeing clearly, Jennifer (26:35):I think there's a reality too that of knowing that you are going to mess up, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to fail, you are going to hurt me at times and I'm going to do that too. And there's going to be times that we walk down some hard roads because of choices that we make. And we need to be able to give each other grace. And we can only do do that if we have received grace from Jesus. Aaron (26:59):And also realizing, man, my wife needs Jesus. I love you and I'm going to pray for you and I wanna give you that grace and mercy that you need cuz that's what I want. And then it goes back to that scripture that where Jesus talks about the plank eye, often we feel like we can see so clearly in our spouse's eyes, the sin that they have without clearly looking inward at our own. And so it helps shape our perspectives of our spouse , when we see clearly of our own. What happened? Jennifer (27:33):What did I say? No, if I wasn't listening, I'm sorry. Oh, I had this Aaron (27:39):Man, it must have been real good what I was sharing. I'm just kidding. Jennifer (27:42):No, but that picture of Oprah where she says you're a winner and they're a winner. We're all winners car for you A coffee . Okay. But I'm like, you're a sinner. I'm a sinner. We're all sinner . Sorry. Aaron (27:52):It's pretty true. Okay. Jennifer (27:54):I'm really sorry. Aaron (27:55):Essentially, it's just No, it's good. It's just shaping our perspectives of each other. Seeing clearly that I am fully capable of working on my own sin and singing inwardly and having a good evaluation and judge so that I can with love and patience, do that for you as well. And that we both knowing, just always remembering we both need Jesus. Jennifer (28:15):I feel like number eight's kind of the same Aaron (28:18):Kind of, well we gave a 17th anyway. So this goes into number eight. The gospel heals all Jennifer (28:29):And always and all the times. Aaron (28:31):Yes, we need Jesus. I know we were talking about that. But this goes into how we do it. This idea of that we become a gospel centric marriage. That we recognize that in every aspect. So if it comes to our parenting, we need more gospel. We need to know that God's transforming us and we need him to work in us so that we can be good parents. Jennifer (28:55):And same with our kids. He's transforming them. Aaron (28:57):They need the gospel also. They need to know that Jesus loves them, that he died for them, that their sins are forgiven and washed away by hit the blood of the cross of Christ. And that we're to belief. And what that means is, so the gospel hills all is that if we operate in our marriage with a workspace mentality, that's not a gospel based mentality. What that means is, until you've done X, until you've done Y, until you've done Z, Jennifer (29:28):Then I'll love you. Or then I'll do this, then I'll do that. Aaron (29:31):Well, yeah, whatever it is or yeah, until you've done this, until you've earned it. But that's not how the gospel works. The gospel believe Jennifer (29:38):Gospel unconditional. Aaron (29:40):So if we go into our relationships with that mentality, if we go into our marriage with the gospel at the center of it, then we realize what our spouse needs more of as the gospel. What we need more of is the gospel. The reason we have this disagreement is because one of us, or both of us are not believing the gospel. We're believing a lie about something or believing we we're owed something. And so it goes back to like, man, I'm not owed anything. Christ gave everything and I can give nothing. Jennifer (30:10):We've experienced a lot of situations in our marriage where there's fi, fighting or disagreement and we're just kind of at each other. And then it takes hours of processing and dialogue and well, what about this? And then you said that. But always when it comes back down to the root cause of whatever the thing is, it's always some thing we're wrestling with some lie that we've believed, some insecurity that we have or a sin problem that Aaron (30:45):We've let Jennifer (30:47):Permeate into our way of being that came out and disrupted life. And that we've had so many moments where we both have encouraged each other to look toward the gospel. Hey, remember? And part of the reconciliation is believing again, what is true? Aaron (31:08):So the gospel, number nine, Jennifer (31:11):Never talk bad about your spouse in front of others, especially to family. Because they don't forget. Aaron (31:17):They don't, Jennifer (31:18):I think we forget that in marriage we're constantly having these interactions and things happening and then we get over them. Or we have a moment of reconciliation and things are fleeting and we're with each other. We chose each other. We are in the day, day out of it all. And when we sidestep and have conversations with others, whether it be family or friends or whoever, and we talk about each other in a negative light that forms an opinion in those other people, those listeners, and they don't get the same process of reconciliation of what happened. They're not a part of that intimacy. So then they're just left with it. Aaron (32:06):Well, and it paints a picture for the person you're talking to. It doesn't portray your spouse as Christ would portray them. And Jennifer (32:19):It's maybe not even how you see them because it's done in emotional distress. Aaron (32:25):An example would be like, man, my wife's always nagging me. That's a very negative thing. Let's say your wife is nagging you. This is not how you're going to fix that. Going and talking is telling someone that all you've done is made your wife an enemy and made your person you're talking to think of them as an enemy, Jennifer (32:44):Left a reputation Aaron (32:45):Mark. Yeah. You're trying and this is what's, what's so destructive about it. You go do that. Going back to a few tips ago where we're on the same team, all you're doing is tearing your own team apart. All you're doing is making your own team weaker. It doesn't make you look any better. It doesn't make you any stronger. Nothing. All it does is make you weaker. Talking about this. And I wanna make one little caveat. This is not to say that you should never go seek counsel on hard things in your marriage when you go to someone that you trust and that lets Jennifer (33:17):You, I think people know the difference between how you're talking about someone. Yes, Aaron (33:21):Yeah, I'm struggling. Yes, this thing happened. I feel like my wife was being mean. Or I feel like my husband said this thing. That's not the same thing as, man, I really don't like so-and-so. Or they always do this y z or I mean, if you've done it, you've done it. And you know what? It sounds like Jennifer (33:36):There's a very respectful way to talk about a situation that you need help with or prayer for Aaron (33:41):Versus Yeah. One is, I love my spouse and I want this situation reconciled. The other is, I hate my spouse and I'm going to say this mean thing about them. Those are the two perspectives. So never talk bad about your spouse in front of others, especially to family, which that trickles into number 10. This was a big one. We had to learn early on. It was very difficult. And I know a lot of marriages, this is, people deal with this. This is a big deal to a Jennifer (34:07):Lot of marriages. This is about boundaries. Aaron (34:08):This is about boundaries. You and your spouse, this is the advice. You and your spouse are on the inside and everyone else is on the outside. Jennifer (34:17):Meaning when it comes to friends, anyone who's not your spouse, Aaron (34:25):That even your kids, Jennifer (34:27):Your spouse comes first. Aaron (34:29):Well, you and your spouse are the ones who dictate how your home operates Jennifer (34:35):Home. No one else. Life, all of it. Aaron (34:37):My mom does not get to come in and say, you should do this, you should do this, you should do this. She can give advice all she wants. That's all it is. Jennifer (34:43):I feel like you're saying it kind Aaron (34:45):Of harsh. I'm sorry, nothing's happened recently. I'm just saying, I'm just trying to be strong with this because there are some people that have allowed other extramarital human beings to Jennifer (34:55):Have way too much influence in not Aaron (34:57):Just influence what's going on. They have more say than their spouse does. And it has been, it's destructive. It's completely, utterly destructive. Remember going back to your team, that's not a team. What you've done is you've, you say you're a team and you're bringing in this outsource outside source Jennifer (35:14):To defend your point or Aaron (35:16):To be on your side. And that is so destructive. No one, no one, but you and your spouse are in charge of what go with the say that happens in your home and how it Jennifer (35:28):Operates. So what Aaron's trying to say is it's good to have wise counsel. Absolutely. Advice, encouragement, people sharing things. I mean, we talk about this all the time, how good it is to be in community and have family and friends who can see what's going on in your life and marriage and parenting and to speak into that. But what he's saying is, when it comes to you and your spouse making decisions for your family, that comes from you two being on the same page. Aaron (35:56):No one else. And so everything else is in unified invited. Yes. Like, hey, we we're going to take your advice that you just gave us and and my wife will evaluate that. So that's number Jennifer (36:09):10. All right. Number 11. Have fun more with each other. . Have fun. Have lots of fun. Be silly. Play, laugh, dance. Why? Aaron (36:20):Because we need fun. Jennifer (36:23):Our bodies were biologically made to respond to humor. Well and memes. No, Aaron (36:31):It's so important. If we're not having fun, I think something's wrong. If we're irritable all the time, bored all the time with each other, we don't get excited around each other. There's gotta be changed. Jennifer (36:46):It sounds like someone needs to play the tortilla game. Aaron (36:48):We need to do the tortilla slap game. I'm going to do that. But number 11, that's a simple one. We don't have much to go with it. But be playful and go. Going back to what I said a little while ago about don't punish the things you not repeated. Don't punish Jennifer (37:03):If your spouse is repeat. If your spouse is trying to be fun with you, don't reject it. Aaron (37:07):Yeah. Be fun back with them. Be more fun back with them. Surprise them. That I would surprise you probably if I played with you cuz you go play with me. That would surprise me. I usually am Jennifer (37:17):Actually, there have been times where you come up and you're trying to dance with me or be romantic cuz that kind of thing. But I'm so caught off guard. I'm like, what are you doing? Aaron (37:25):Well you need to work. Workout it too. Yeah, let's have more fun. Jennifer (37:28):Okay, number 12, I'll do this one. I beat. Yeah, Aaron (37:31):I will do it. 12. Schedule a consistent date night. This is a big deal. Now this doesn't mean if you aren't even capable of getting a couple dates in a row and that that's not the end of the world. Jennifer (37:44):Well it's really how you define a date. Cuz you don't have to go out and spend money or do something. Aaron (37:49):Well, it's an intentional, it's Jennifer (37:50):Being Aaron (37:50):Intentional. A long time with your spouse outside of the home. I would say. Yeah, sometimes you can for a walk. Yeah, you can for a walk. But having it consistent, so the moment we put it on the calendar, Jennifer (37:59):It Aaron (38:00):Happens. It happens way more than it did when we didn't have it on the calendar. Jennifer (38:03):It's definitely a game changer when you have kids, when you start having kids, Aaron (38:07):You gotta schedule that man. Jennifer (38:08):You Aaron (38:08):Got to . Like if it ain't scheduled, it ain't happen on. So it also because it's on the calendar, because it's on the front of your mind. Because we know, oh on this day we're going to have day. It actually heightens your excitement. Jennifer (38:22):You look forward to Aaron (38:23):It. Yeah. You're like, oh, you have something to look forward to. Midweek or whatever it is. So scheduling it, making it consistent. What it does is it means that, let's say you have a season where you can't be going on those dates, sickness, traveling, whatever it is, Jennifer (38:38):It's still going to happen. Aaron (38:39):It's still going to happen. And you're not thinking, I don't remember the last time we went on a date was you're thinking like, oh, I can't wait for the next time we go on a Jennifer (38:46):Date. Some things we love to utilize dates for, especially cuz we have five kids at home and they're getting older and paying attention to every conversation we have is we like to check in with each other. We like to ask how we're doing. We like to dream together and talk about plans for the future and what's working and what's not working and what goals we Aaron (39:04):Have. Almost all of the big things we've done in our life were planned over a date. The house we're in Al almost, I'm pretty sure every single book for the most part was planned over some form of date Jennifer (39:18):Probably. Yeah. I don't know. So Aaron (39:20):I wasn't keeping track. It's pretty amazing. I know number Jennifer (39:22):13, what he is trying to say is amazing. Things happen on date night. Aaron (39:25):Number 13 is probably going to be a hard one for some people. And I don't know why cuz I'm an extrovert, but have, get, grab, make, cultivate, close, married friends Jennifer (39:43):In friendship, Aaron (39:44):Preferably ones who love Jesus. Yeah. This is a non-negotiable people. I can't say it enough. And I know enough people that they will say, I don't have any friends. They will say that almost like it's a trophy. I'm like, that's not a trophy. You need friends. You need people in your life that can come to you and not just you enjoy their company, but they can also tell you when you're being a jerk, they can tell you when, Hey, here's an area in your life you can grow in. And that you could do the same for them. It's such a big deal. I'm not going to, in no small part, in no small way did friends play a role in saving our marriage Jennifer (40:32):Is true. Aaron (40:34):Wasn't the only thing, but it was not the small thing. It was the largest portion of the redemption and restoration of our marriage was close. Christian friends. The benefits of it is you're not alone. And again, some introverts are like, what's wrong with being alone? You're not alone. They remind you, you're not alone. They reach Jennifer (41:04):Out. They support you. Aaron (41:05):They support you. Jennifer (41:07):They give you meals when you're sick, Aaron (41:09):But almost more valuable than those things that they do for you. It makes, it's the ability for you to be a friend, for you to reach out, for you to practice the fruits of the spirit in another person's life. Because often people will say, we've tried and no one will x, Y, z. I'm like, well, are you being the X, y, Z that you want? And a friend the radio station air one always says there's plenty of good nice people or kind people in the world. And if you can't find one, be one. Like be a friend. Be the person you want others to be to you. It's that. That's the golden rule that Jesus teaches is treat others as you'd like to be treated. Have close married friends. This is a non-negotiable you. Your life and marriage will be so much more fruitful and beautiful and powerful and all these good things with good close married Christian friends. Jennifer (42:14):And then what you wanna do is number 12 and 11. So you wanna take, have more Aaron (42:19):Fun? Jennifer (42:20):Do you wanna take those friends? You wanna go on double dates and have more fun together? Yes. Those are some of our favorite dates and memorable moments Aaron (42:28):Together. 13, 12, 11. Yep. Jennifer (42:30):All right. Number 14, never stop learning about your spouse. Never stop studying your spouse. Never stop looking into what they're interested in and get to know them. And Aaron (42:41):This is something that hard for me because I can get so caught up in, not caught up. I'll just say it. Comfortable, lazy. Comfortable. Comfortable. That's so much nicer. Familiar. You familiar? Jennifer (42:52):You Aaron (42:53):Know me. I think I know you are. I I almost more just, I forget to ask how are you doing? What are you learning? But the other day I asked you, I said, what are you learning in the word right now? And you're like, you looked at me. Jennifer (43:06):Well, thank you. I can't. Aaron (43:09):Wow. Jennifer (43:09):I think it had been a while. Aaron (43:10):It had been a while. But you had told me and I trying to remember and I'm trying to, you're growing too. You're even though we're one, you're still a unique individual human being that God's imparting wisdom to and growing and maturing and you're you, you're going through things and you're learning things and you're becoming a older woman. You're not old, but you're becoming an older woman. I'm an older man. You just call me old. No, I said you're not old Jennifer (43:36):Getting Aaron (43:37):Old. But that we would practice. This is a skill that we get to learn over the decades. Jennifer (43:43):Why is it important to know each other in that way? To study each other and to know each other. I'll tell you. Okay. It comes in it handy when you wanna purchase a gift or spoil one another because you already know what that person likes or is interested in. It comes in handy when you're planning date nights or date days because you already know what they've been looking forward to, what they absolutely won't go near. And Aaron (44:11):It gives you ways of encouraging knowing them. So you're like, man, I wanna be growing in this area. It's something I found out about you. I can be like, Hey, you said you wanna be growing this area. How can I help with that? What's ways I can encourage you? Jennifer (44:25):I was going to say prayer. If you know them and you're studying them and you can see without them even explaining to you what they're struggling with or where they're finding success in, you can be praying for those areas. Aaron (44:37):That's real good. Yeah. Keep learning. All right, number 15. All right. This is also a hard one. Could be hard. Learn to forgive quickly. Seriously, Jennifer (44:52):Go. This one took Aaron years to figure out years and I told him every day, can you Aaron (44:58):Forgive me? Is something, it's something we're Jennifer (45:00):All, oh no, I'm sorry. It was saying I'm sorry that that was hard for Aaron (45:05):You. That's the saying. I'm sorry is hard for, do Jennifer (45:07):You remember Aaron (45:07):You forgiving me is what's hard. Jennifer (45:09):Yeah. I totally messed that one up. Aaron, it took you years to say I'm sorry. Even on the silliest of things, man, I do not miss that. Aaron (45:19):Well, yeah, that's another podcast episode Jennifer (45:22):We can talk about. You've grown a lot. Aaron (45:24):So learning to forgive quickly, I just wanna encourage all you listening to go read everything in the New Testament about forgiveness because the Bible is pretty serious about it. We've done some episodes on it, but the quicker you forgive man, the quicker you're back to being on the same page, the quicker you're back to being on the team Jennifer (45:42):And don't do what I did. Don't fool yourself by just saying, I forgive. I forgive you. And because when you don't, because then it just kind of buries itself. I Aaron (45:49):Said, I Jennifer (45:50):Forgive you. It varies itself. You have to stop talking like that. Like me, you guys. I don't talk to him with attitude like Aaron (45:55):That. What's funny is they can hear your voice. Your voice is so much prettier than mine. They know that that's not how you sound. Jennifer (46:01):I hope not. Oh anyways, forgive quickly because it's better for your soul. And there's Aaron (46:07):Last, but definitely not least. And it's also, this is not an extensive list of all of the wisdom that we might have somehow gained over the years. But last one for us. Jennifer (46:19):Well, I'm going to share one at the very end, but go Aaron (46:23):Ahead. We're like at 20. We're not even 20 now. It's like 20. I'm just kidding. Okay, number 16, I'm going to say it and then I'm Jennifer (46:32):Explain. Aaron (46:33):I'm going to explain it Jennifer (46:34):, because it's not straightforward at all. Aaron (46:36):Have children together. . Okay. Someone's like what? Jennifer (46:43):Excuse me. What? . Aaron (46:44):Just listen. Jennifer (46:45):Have children ra raise children together. Aaron (46:48):First of all, children are literally the physical manifestation of two becoming one. Okay? It's both our DNAs, both our images, both our personalities and characters. Both our histories becoming into a new creature, a new creation, a new little person. And I just think that's beautiful and I think that's amazing. Okay. Now, if you can't physically have a baby, cuz I know there are people that this has been a long time prayer and a painful area of their life, that they would love to have children, but they can't. I wanna encourage you to pray about adoption. And to be honest, I'm sure you already are, but this doesn't mean you have to have only biological children have children. One of the most powerful and beautiful things about marriage is that it is between a man and woman. The way God designed it, it's a s, it's the word. (47:47):It's a beautiful, safe Petri dish cultivating little humans that love God. One of the main ministries of a marriage is to when you have children, to raise them to know God, to raise them, to be children who understand the word. And of course trusting the Lord with their salvation, but raising them to know him. Children refine us in a huge way. They refine us. They challenge every aspect of our personality. And faith. And faith. They show us just how selfish we are and make us not be selfish. Children are amazing. They give us an opportunity. This is something that, this was a huge thing. Jennifer mentioned a little bit earlier about how early on in our marriage, we were in this weird place with this idea of having children. But one of the things that God used to capture my heart on this idea of becoming a dad, I prayed and I said, God, I want to be a better teacher and I wanna be able to teach these other marriages about you. (48:59):I need to know you more. And God pointed out to me, he is like, if you want to know me more, there's a sight of me you'll never know unless you become a father. And that was it. I was like, oh, I need to be a dad. If I wanna know more about God, I need to be a father. That wasn't the only thing, but that was it. That was the thing that just went from me being as selfish. I don't wanna have kids because whatever, to like, no, I want children. No, I didn't know how many or whatever just my heart changed in that moment because I wanted to know more of God. And children give you the opportunity to become more like God the Father, the one who has children and treats us as children. They also give us deep and meaningful ministry like Jennifer (49:47):Life purpose, Aaron (49:48):Life purpose. Every Jennifer (49:49):Day I wake up, I know for a matter of fact I've got little ones that rely on me and I have a purpose to serve Aaron (49:56):Them. Yeah. You mothers and fathers out there. I'm just going to say this one. The most important ministry you'll ever have in your entire life is your children. Your first ministry is your spouse, your second, and most important is your children. It you're raising, like we can go across the ocean and preach the gospel to people we don't know. That's good. But we have little people living right here in our home that we're with every day. Are we showing them the gospel with our life and the decisions we make and the way we repent and the like. That's amazing. That's huge. And last but not least, about this idea of having children. The Bible, God tells us that children are a blessing from him. They're a blessing. So Jennifer and I, we want you to be blessed. So if you're contemplating having children, if you are desiring to have children, if it's something that's the, you haven't have any yet, but you're thinking about it, we wanna encourage you to be praying that direction because we want you to be blessed. So I wanted to make that thing. I know that there's some people that can't, but there's always adoption. There's also just your heart to be a mother. Your heart to be a mother is such a huge good thing. So we want to encourage you in that and say, God bless you for that. So that's our 16 ish Jennifer (51:23): Aaron (51:24):Bits Jennifer (51:24):Of advice. The last one that I was going to share is really simple, and you can do it with all of these as you implement them, these forms. It's just be nice. Just be nice, be a nice person, be a nice person be kind. Aaron (51:37):Sorry. Don't be all grumpy all Jennifer (51:38):The time. Be kind. Yeah, I can hear my, every once in a while my mom comes out to visit and there's moments that Aaron and I have a little bickering or whatever, and I could hear her voice after all these years still say, oh, Jennifer, be nice. She does do, but she says it about my relationship toward you. Like, yeah. Oh, Jennifer, be nice. Sometimes you're not even in the room. She'll whisper it. Oh, Jennifer, be nice. And so it's just a good reminder that we need to be nice to each other in all ways. The way that we communicate the thoughts that we have toward one another all our intention be nice. Aaron (52:15):Yep. Let's get a little free bonus for you. We won't charge you on that one. Okay. Jennifer (52:20):Wow, this week's chilling. Oh, go ahead. Just I, it's our last time before the next season and I just wanted to say thank you guys so much for joining us and following along and just supporting this podcast. We love marriage after God. We love the community. We love knowing that there's couples out there who desire to grow and mature and chase boldly after God together. And we just wanted to say we love you guys and we hope that you have an incredible New year and just, I don't know, we we're praying for your marriage and we love you guys. Aaron (52:56):While you wait for the next season, will you please take some time and go back through the last episodes that maybe you haven't cut up on yet? Check 'em out. We have a lot of episodes now. But also, would you please share our podcast with a friend? Let someone know, someone that you know has a good commute, that likes to listen to the podcast, share with them. Jennifer (53:16):Lastly, if you feel inspired to share with us some thoughts on topics for next season, you can reach out to us on Instagram at Marriage after God and just shoot us a DM with your topic ideas and we'll be sure to look over those before we start the next season. Start the next season. Aaron (53:37):Awesome. So weekly challenge. This week, your challenge is to read the Bible together at least three times. Challenge accepted. Yes. Good? Yes. Okay. All right. I'm going to pray. Dear Lord, thank you for our marriage. Thank you for the opportunities you give us every day to love each other. Well, we pray we would be wise couples who clinging to truth. We pray we would listen to sound marriage advice and apply it. We pray you would continue to mature us and shape our marriage relationship, increase our ability to love and be known by each other when fear or doubt creeps into our marriage, we pray your truth will cover us with peace. Please use our marriage to bless each other and use us as a team to bring your glory as we support and encourage other marriages around us. In Jesus' name, amen. Jennifer (54:27):Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Marriage After God podcast. Aaron (54:30):If you found today's episode fun and encouraging, please take a moment to share it on social media or in an email to some of your married friends. Jennifer (54:36):Also, would you please take a moment and leave us a review, reviews help to spread the word about our podcast? Aaron (54:41):Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and you can always check out more of our resources@marriageaftergod.com. Jennifer (54:46):You can follow us on social media for more marriage encouragement on Facebook and Instagram at Marriage after God at Husband Revolution, and at Unveiled Wife. Aaron (54:55):We hope you have an incredible week and look forward to sharing more with you next week on The Marriage After God podcast.