Podcasts about urinate

I am half human and half animal and have caused a lot of harm. The pastor who attempted to expose me, I made him urinate on himself. – A witch confesses.

Website: https://saltmustflow.comOTHER PLATFORMSRumble: https://rumble.com/c/SaltyCrackerYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SaltyCrackerTwitter/X: https://x.com/SaltyCracker9Locals: https://saltycracker.locals.com/SUPPORT SALTYWebsite: https://saltmustflow.com/support/SubscribeStar: https://www.subscribestar.com/salty-crackerCash App: https://cash.app/$saltmustflowMerchandise: https://saltmustflow.com/shop/Mrs. Salty's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChnZMOno3rthe1LHvcxufdwMusic by: https://incompetech.com/ Crinoline Dreams In Your Arms--Disclaimer-- These are the opinions and ramblings of a foul-mouthed lunatic. They are for entertainment purposes only and are probably wrong. You listen at your own risk.

6pm: Talking Sports with Ry: Pete Carroll hired as Las Vegas Raiders’ coach, reports say // Ichiro Suzuki wants to have a drink with writer who left him off Hall of Fame ballot // Why Donald Trump Made a Deal To Free Ross Ulbricht // Jacob’s Lousy Animal Story of the Week: Do chimps who urinate together stay together? 

In episode 1802, Jack and guest co-host Pallavi Gunalan are joined by co-host of This Day In Esoteric Political History and lead producer on The Puzzler, Jody Avirgan, to discuss… Trump Executive Orders, Elon Musk Fully a Nazi Now? Everyone Is Finally Realizing That The ADL Is Trash, New Research Sheds Light On Why People (And Primates) Pee In Groups and more! Trump Executive Orders Elon Musk Fully a Nazi Now? Right-Wing Extremists Are Abuzz Over Musk’s Straight-Arm Salute Everyone Is Finally Realizing That The ADL Is Trash ADL's Statement on Elon's "Awkward Gesture" The ADL Goes Full Bully Israel Security Forces Are Training American Cops Despite History of Rights Abuses Jonathan Greenblatt’s racist keffiyeh smear is another chapter in the ADL’s war on Palestinians Let’s Call the ADL What It Is: an Ally of Fascists New Research Sheds Light On Why People (And Primates) Pee In Groups Is peeing contagious, like yawning? Scientists studying chimps may have the answer L.A. Wildfire Relief: DONATE: Support the Kaller/Gray Family's Recovery Zeitgang Lightsaber Auction and Fundraiser Displaced Black Families GoFund Me Directory LISTEN: It's Not Easy by OfegeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Taylor Swift! | Women's Politics! | Béchamel Sauce!Find out about goats! A listener question from Pia in Jersey! Tasty trivia for all, quiz questions and general knowledge fun - globally friendly stuff! Do goats really urinate on themselves to make themselves more attractive? Sounds like it could be true. Or is it made up? Those naughty goats!---Created and Presented by James at Quiz Coconut.Music and Editing by Jules at Abstract Source: abstractsource.co.ukDesign by Ben at Ich Bin Ben: ichbinben.comQuiz CoconutUK: www.quizcoconut.co.ukCanada: www.quizcoconut.caWorldwide: www.quizcoconut.comVisit quizcoconut.com/podcast to send in your listener question! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A town centre shop has been hit with its second zero-star hygiene rating in less than a year after inspectors uncovered blood-soaked floors.The business in Ashford received another damning report highlighting a catalogue of failures including poor hygiene practices, damaged equipment and mould.Also in today's podcast, a pensioner with a fetish for listening to women urinate claimed he was “desperate” from a stomach upset when caught using ladies' cubicles.The 67-year-old was busted in Herne Bay om June this year, when he was subject to a court order banning him from "lingering, waiting and standing" outside public loos.We've spoken to a Kent pub boss about proposals to introduce smoking bans in some areas including beer gardens. Some say it will be the final nail in the coffin for the pub industry. You can also hear from the manager of a Morrisons daily who tells us why he stayed in the job for 51-years despite once being held up at gunpoint. The 65-year-old is giving up his 4am starts after starting with the company as a paperboy aged 14.And a former vaccine centre in Sittingbourne that has been left empty since the pandemic is being transformed into a “much-needed” cafe and food bank.The Podcast has spoken to some of the people behind the renovations and what they mean for the community. 

A Breeding ProgramIn 7 parts, based on the posts by senorlongo. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novel. Damn! Damn! Damn! I hit the damned GPS with the heel of my hand, but it still wouldn't work. I had tried repeatedly to tell the suits at the main office that we needed better equipment, but those cheap bastards were always looking out for the bottom line—their bottom line, anything to look good to the higher-ups. The fact that our lives were at stake was inconsequential. My requests were always turned down. Now we were stuck in the bloody jungle of Brazil with no idea where we were.You'd think that two PhD's in Geology, with the responsibility for finding the new deposits of bauxite that would keep the world's largest manufacturer of aluminum at the top of the hill would be able to get decent equipment, but you'd be wrong. Our GPS was five years old. That may be OK if it's in your car, but ours is exposed to extremes of temperature and humidity that kill it quickly. I was standing in a clearing with a clear view of the sky and I couldn't lock on to even a single satellite. Our satellite phone was no better. I'd call the office to complain but the idiot bean counters would probably just bitch back at me about the phone charges and I'd get nowhere.I turned to my partner, Dr. Michael Sullivan, “Mike! I can't get even a single fucking satellite lock on this fucking thing.”“Really, David,” he replied calmly in his Irish brogue, “all that swearing accomplishes nothing. If we wait here until dark we can get a star shoot. That'll at least help with our latitude. The rest we can do by dead reckoning.”“Yeah, that's great, but why am I carrying all this stuff if we can't use it? It's typical bean counter bullshit. If I have to go out next time with this piece of …I'll quit and go to work for the competition.” We had been trekking on foot for almost a month. Originally we had used a Land Rover, but most areas of the Brazilian jungle are so thick as to make a vehicle a liability, even slower than hacking one's way with a machete.We had some dried food similar to what the Army uses, but mostly we caught fish or birds along with an ample supply of native fruits. We'd done this before—more than a dozen times—and were survival experts.I began to clear a small area in the center of the clearing. I was waist deep in native grass, which meant that Mike was covered almost to his chest. I towered over him—my six feet four inches to his five feet eight. Using my machete and shovel I formed an area about twenty feet on a side, piling the grass in the center. We'd use this later for a fire. Next I retreated to the woods where I strung my fishing line with tiny bells from tree to tree all the way around our perimeter. We'd learned the hard way that it's always best to be prepared. The government officials had told us that the natives were friendly and peaceful, but one never knew for sure. The bigger concern--one for which there is no warning system--was the possibility of running into one of the many venomous snakes and spiders in the area. And then, of course, were the insects. At night they were unbearable. Fortunately, we had learned that the smoke from the damp grass kept them at bay. Luckily we hadn't seen a jaguar, but we had rifles in case we did.Mike finished his explorations and we set up camp which was basically a couple of sleeping bags covered with mosquito mesh and the fire for cooking, boiling water, and safety. We had a light dinner of some smoked birds I had caught and cooked yesterday, determined our approximate location and went to sleep, our weapons close by. We went to sleep early—there was no reason to sit up swatting bugs all night; it was safer and more comfortable in the sleeping bags.Mike and I are both light sleepers so when we heard a bell tinkle in the trees we were awake in an instant. I would have risen and grabbed my rifle but for three things—a long bronze spear held inches over my face, a knee on my chest, and a foot standing on the rifle. I was most surprised by the foot I could see clearly in the firelight—it belonged to a woman and she was white. “Relax Dr. Schneider. We do not want to hurt you. Please sit up slowly.”“Who are you?” I asked, noticing for the first time that Mike was in the same situation I found myself in. “You speak English?”“You will soon learn all about us, and, yes we do speak English. Many of our grandmothers lived in the U.S. and England during World War II as part of the war effort. They taught our mothers and our mothers taught us. Now, please stand and put your hands behind your backs. We will restrain you, but it is for our safety only. I assure you that we mean you no harm.” I stood unsteadily and noticed for the first time that all our captors were women and they were all appeared to be incredibly beautiful.These women were tall, only four or five inches shorter than me, of slender build, and they were dressed similarly, but not exactly the same. Their ample chests were bare and they wore short skirts apparently made of thin metal strips—copper, a silver metal I recognized immediately as aluminum, and gold. I assumed the material had something to do with their status in the tribe or group, or whatever they called themselves. They wore identical sandals on their feet and coiled bracelets that matched their skirts on their wrists. They were all armed with either spears or bows and arrows, and now with our rifles and pistols.They tied our wrists behind our backs. The woman who tied me asked kindly if the ropes were too tight. “No,” I replied, “but I'd love to know why the insects aren't biting you—they're killing me.” As soon as I finished my remark two of their band came to us and rubbed some kind of lotion over our exposed skin—head, neck, arms, and legs. I noticed the change immediately. “Thank you,” I told the woman. She turned and smiled, showing me a set of beautiful teeth…and even more beautiful breasts.They gave us food and something to drink—not water; it was flavored strongly with some kind of fruit I couldn't identify. Then we waited for the first signs of daylight. I thought it was a good time to ask some questions. “Excuse me,” I started politely, directing my remarks to the leader, “what do you want with us? We're just geologists.”“We know who you are Dr. Schneider. We have spies in many of the cities here in Brazil. As to our purpose…our Queen will no doubt explain when you meet her later today. Now I think we should leave. Please walk with the guards next to you and don't do anything stupid. We have no wish to harm you, but we will if necessary.” We walked swiftly into the jungle.I thought that cooperation was the easiest and safest course to follow. They could have killed us back in the clearing and their actions indicated peaceful intent. Mike, however, was falling prey to his famous Irish temper, struggling against his bonds and with his guards. I turned to one of mine and commented, “My name is David. May I know yours?”“Yes,” replied the guard on my left. She stood almost six feet in height and had a magnificent body highlighted by her symmetrical D-cup breasts that swayed gently as we walked. “My name is Reta.” I thanked her and turned to my right. This woman was easily a twelve on a scale of ten! She appeared to be a shade under six feet with long slender legs, narrow hips and beautiful breasts that looked to be somewhere between a C and D-cup. She had high cheek bones framed by long straight light brown hair that fell below her shoulders. Her eyes looked green in the early morning light. “My name is Hosi.”“Thank you, Reta. Thank you, Hosi. You two are certainly the most beautiful guards I've ever had.”“Flattery, Dr. Schneider…er, David will get you nowhere. I'm sure we're the only guards you've ever had,” Reta replied, “but we do appreciate the compliment.” She and Hosi both smiled as they held my arms while we crossed some rough terrain. A few minutes later we stopped for a brief rest.“Uh…Hosi, I have to…um…urinate.”“Come over here to the edge of the clearing. I will help you.” She pulled down my zipper and reached in to find my growing cock. “I seem to have an effect on you, David.”“Yes, Hosi you certainly do. You're beautiful and very sexy, too.” My stream had just begun when she replied, “What is ‘sexy,' David?”“It means that members of the other sex, like me, find you extremely appealing and would like to sleep with you.”“Why would sleeping be of interest to you?” The command to continue marching saved me. Hosi put my penis back into my shorts and zipped me back up. We returned to the group and continued our pleasant stroll.Roughly two hours later I noticed that we had passed this spot before and after a brief lunch we passed it again. I mentioned it the fourth time, “Are you sure you know where you're going? We've passed this same spot four times today. If you're trying to confuse us you're doing a great job.”“We are walking you in circles so you don't know where you are,” Reta replied. I laughed and laughed, attracting the attention of the others in the band. “We didn't know where we were this morning. You could have just walked us in a straight line and we still wouldn't know.” The leader approached asking, “Don't you have instruments that tell you?”“Sure, but they don't work. If you will briefly untie my hands I'll show you. Don't worry, I'm not going to endanger any of you and you can tie me up again once I'm done.” She looked to my guards who nodded; a minute later my hands were free. Mike, however, continued to fight at every opportunity. I asked for my back pack and dug out the GPS. I explained briefly how it was supposed to work. I turned it on—we could see the screen light up. I held it up for several minutes and when I brought it down the screen was still blank. “You see,” I continued, “it doesn't work. If there is something you don't want us to see why not just blindfold us? It'll save a lot of time and walking.” She thought for a moment and nodded. Several long strips of cloth were produced and I returned my hands behind my back. “I don't think that will be necessary any longer—with you, anyway. Reta and Hosi will hold onto your arms. Follow them and their directions.”I thanked her as the blindfold was tied behind my head and my guards took my arms. “Well, this is much nicer, don't you agree?” They just laughed, but Hosi also rubbed my back. We walked back--at least I thought it was back then we turned and after a few minutes we stopped. Hosi spoke quietly, “We have to walk sideways here. Be careful, it's a narrow ledge. Don't look down.”“Very funny,” I joked. Again Hosi rubbed my back as she led me onto the ledge. I sidestepped, barely raising my feet from the irregularly shaped rock until I felt soil beneath my feet again. “Are we past it now?”“Yes,” Reta replied, “I always get nervous on this part of the trip.”“You get nervous? At least you can see. If you fall I'm going with you.”Hosi giggled, “It's not that long a drop--probably not more than twenty feet, but the ground down there is covered with rough rocks so the fall would be nasty…but I don't think it would kill you. Just a little bit further and we can remove your blindfolds.” We continued--my guards back at my sides--down a gradual slope. At one point we went down a flight of stone steps. That was slow going, but Hosi directed me carefully.We stopped a few minutes later and the blindfold was removed. I squinted in the bright light. I turned around slowly taking in the sights. We were in a verdant valley and could see a large stone building with a large number of smaller buildings, also of stone with thatched roofs nearby. Beyond I could see the snow-capped slopes of mountains and several flocks of small animals—goats and sheep. Judging from what I could see it looked like a glacial valley—u-shaped by the movement and retreat of an ancient glacier rather than a v-shaped valley caused by a river's erosion. There were expansive grassy plains and several large cultivated fields; we were out of the jungle, for sure. The temperature was more moderate and the humidity much less oppressive.“Let us go. I am sure our Queen is waiting impatiently,” Hosi told me pointing to the large building. She and Reta walked next to me, but did not touch or guide me now that I could see. “I liked it better when you were touching me,” I commented to Hosi. She smiled coyly and put her hand on my elbow. I smiled back, leaned over and whispered, “That's much better.” We walked that way until we reached the village about twenty minutes away.When we reached the large building I was told to remove my shoes. I sat on a step and pulled off my shoes and socks. I set them aside out of the way. I rose and walked in, noticing that all our guards had also removed their footwear. We walked in a wide hallway and were about halfway when Hosi whispered, “Kneel when you meet the Queen and keep your eyes down unless she tells you otherwise. I don't want to see you punished, but I am afraid your friend is in for a lot of trouble. I'm glad I was assigned to you.”I turned and whispered back, “I'm glad you were assigned to me, too.” She blushed like a schoolgirl as we entered a large room festooned with what looked like tapestries. There were skylights and windows that were open to the weather. I saw the Queen seated on a large chair that was raised at least a foot above the floor. I walked forward slowly and kneeled, placing my face on the floor in front of me. Mike had to be forced down. I would have spoken to him but I knew from experience that it would be a waste of time. A spear shaft across his back held him in place.“Welcome, gentlemen—well, I can see that one of you is a gentleman. Please rise, Dr. Schneider.” I stood and a chair was provided for me; Mike was still forced down, a guard tightly holding each of his arms. “I am sure that you have many questions—even some you have not yet considered. Let me answer some of the more important ones. You are in a hidden valley—a valley that has eluded detection for thousands of years. We are a society of women; you are the only men here. You would call us Amazons although that is not our tribe's name. We have brought you here for a purpose, one that is essential for our tribe's survival. At one time we had more than 3,000 women here. Now we have less than 500. We need your seed to create new members. We will feed you a special fruit that will encourage your seed to produce females. Do not worry—it is delicious, nutritious, and will do you no harm. You will have the freedom to wander in the valley, but do not attempt to leave. Once every seven days you will be milked—milked for your seed. We will use that to impregnate fertile women.“Now, I am sure you are tired from your trip. Dr. Schneider, you will be shown to a house nearby. You will live there. Dr. Sullivan will remain here under control. That is all—you are dismissed.” I backed out of the room while Mike was pulled up. The spear shaft was wedged between his arms and body, further immobilizing him, and he was led away. Hosi guided me back to the front of the building. “Your house is right next to mine. Come, I will show you the way.”We walked down a narrow lane, not much more than a dirt path. I noticed that some of the avenues were paved so it seemed that Hosi was not one of the higher ranking women. She stopped after a few minutes in front of a small stone building. It was a single story with a newly thatched roof. There was a window near the doorway, but no door. She led me inside; the house was immaculate inside with whitewashed walls and a rough stone floor. There was but a single room with a fireplace near the center. The furniture consisted of a rough-hewn bed with rope netting supporting a thin mattress, a small table and two rough wooden chairs. “This will be your house, David. I do not think you will spend much time here, though. Mine is right across the lane. I have been given the responsibility of feeding and caring for you.”She led me out and into her home. It was of similar size, but had more and better furniture. There were earthenware bowls and jars like Grecian amphorae, some with local fruits and others with juices and wines. She showed me to a chair. While I sat she removed her sandals and skirt, leaving her clad only in a skimpy undergarment similar to a modern thong that showed her magnificent ass cheeks and abdomen. She returned to me a moment later. “Hosi…please do not be offended, but… may I touch you?”“Of course, David.” I reached forward, placing my hand on her abdomen. Her skin was silk, but there were hard strong muscles beneath. I reached around her to feel her ass. Her buttocks felt the same—silky smooth but incredibly firm. I doubted that, other than her breasts, she had even an ounce of fat on her. When I returned my hand to her abdomen she took it and moved it to her breast.“I have been told that men enjoy touching and feeling these. Is that true, David? You are the first man I have ever met.” I rubbed my hand over her heavy breast flesh. “Oh, yes, Hosi…most men would die for the chance to touch and fondle breasts as beautiful as these.”“Surely, David you are fooling with me. They are nothing special—just blobs of fat.” I laughed and it was obvious that I had embarrassed her. I rose and held her. “I'm sorry, Hosi. I'm not being much of a guest. You may be right but they are beautifully formed and very sexy blobs of fat and some day you may need them to feed your newborn children.”“There you go with that ‘sexy' again. Won't you tell me what that means? Am I sexy, David?”“Oh…Hosi, you are the sexiest woman I have ever met. Sexy is a term that means you are desirable and that men would want to sleep with you, but that has nothing to do with actual sleeping. It means having sex, you know—how a woman can become pregnant.”“Now I am confused. You are going to be milked. Your seed will be removed from your body and poured into several hollow reeds. Then the reeds will be introduced to the women. How does that have anything to do with ‘sexy'?” I knew now why their numbers had dropped so drastically. I also knew how I would be “milked” and I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. Hosi and I talked for a while as she prepared our meal. She showed me the fruit I was to eat. It looked like a small plum, but it tasted more like a grapefruit; that was OK—I loved grapefruit. I ate several, bringing a smile to her lips. Our dinner consisted of some broiled fish, a fried flatbread Hosi cooked for us and more fruit.After dinner Hosi and I went to the river to bathe in a pool created by a small outcropping of land. We used a crude soap; she allowed me to wash her body and to be fair I allowed her to wash mine—it was one of the most erotic experiences of my life—I was hard the entire time much to Hosi's amusement. Then we returned to her house where she asked if I wanted to sleep with her. I knew the invitation did not include sex, but I accepted anyway. We fell asleep holding each other's naked bodies. I was worried about what the future would hold, but I was exhausted so I fell asleep almost immediately.I woke the following morning to find I was spooning with Hosi, my hand gently cupping her breast. “I think I understand a little more about ‘sexy,' David. I enjoy having your hand on my breast…especially when you play with my little bump.” “I think you mean your nipple, Hosi.” I rubbed her flesh and rolled her nipple while I asked, “May I ask you some questions?”“Of course, David--if I can answer them I will.”“Are we the first men in your village that you can remember?”“Yes, I have been told that I was the last one born from the previous group more than twenty summers ago. I was also told that they were rough and dangerous. They rebelled at being milked and attacked their guards. They were all killed. We haven't had a man here since.”That told me a lot. I doubted that the queen would allow any of her citizens to couple with such men. It would be much too dangerous for the woman and possibly for the entire tribe as well. “Next question, Hosi,” I continued. “You seem to know something about a male's anatomy. You knew about my penis and weren't either surprised or afraid of it.”“Yes, David,” Hosi interrupted, “I have seen pictures in a book, but I do not know why it is shaped the way it is or what it does other than…what was the word you used?”“Urinate—remove liquid wastes from the body. Yes, that is one purpose—the other is to have sex. The shape and size is to fit into a woman's vagina.” Hosi started, jumped up and turned around. “You mean that thing is supposed to fit inside me?”“Yes, and it will. That's why it becomes hard and larger. It must be hard to penetrate a woman; the size will help to please you. May I show you…not with my penis…I'll use my finger.”“I don't know. I trust you, David but I am afraid you will hurt me.”“Hosi, if you trust me you know I will not harm you. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She seemed startled. “What was that, David? Why did you do that with your mouth?”Oh, boy—these women have really been missing something. “That was what we call a kiss. It is something people do when they like or love each other. Haven't you ever heard about that?”“I have heard of it, but I have never had one before. It was interesting.”“I'd like to kiss you again, but on your lips this time. Believe me it will be much more interesting.” Hosi leaned down tentatively. I stroked her cheek and moved her hair back over her ear. I kissed her cheek several times before moving back a few inches. I looked into her eyes and edged forward. My lips lightly touched hers; she moved back slightly before making up her mind and moving into the kiss. Our lips ground into each other's until Hosi's arm reached around me and she pulled me even closer. I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes again; they were saying, “Wow!” “Try opening your mouth a bit. Let my tongue touch yours.” She looked unsure but did as I asked. Our tongues touched and danced. The next thing I learned was how strong she was; she had me on my back as she kissed me passionately. She broke the kiss briefly to whisper into my ear, “Use your finger in me…please.”I reached between her legs and, not surprisingly, found her pussy soaked. I rubbed my finger in her slit before telling her, “This is why it won't hurt. You are wet. Your entire tunnel is lubricated with this delicious juice.” I put my fingers into my mouth and savored her nectar. I returned my fingers to their ultimate destination and slowly pushed my middle finger into her. In an instant it was completely enfolded in her. “See…did I hurt you?”She shook her head as I slowly withdrew and pushed in again. I could see her eyes roll back as her ecstasy built. I fucked her for almost a minute before touching her clit. “Oh…David…I like it…I like it a lot. Is this what it feels like when your penis is in me?”“No, Hosi…that feels better.” She moved up and looked at me disbelievingly. Then she smiled and returned her lips to mine. We might have gone further, but we were interrupted when Reta walked in the door. Apparently, there had been little reason for privacy before I had arrived.“I'm sorry to break up your fun, but it is time for you to be milked, David.” Reta and Hosi returned to their roles as my guards. I waited while Hosi dressed, but how long can it take to tie a short skirt around one's hips? I walked briskly between them to a square by the river. I was bent over a round padded rail and tied into place. An earthenware bowl lay beneath my penis, still hard from my episode with Hosi. There was a fire in front of me with a large kettle of what I assumed was water. Several large metal implements lay heating within. Hosi leaned over me, her breasts pressing into my back, “Try to relax. I am told it will be easier.” One of the older women pulled a “spoon” from the kettle. I could tell from her reaction that it was hot. She moved behind me, applied some kind of oil and pushed it into my anus.I was right—it was fucking hot—burning me as if pressed into my bowel! I howled in pain. She used the tool to roughly rub and stimulate my prostate. Semen dribbled from my cock after a minute or so. Hosi took hold and aimed it over the bowl. It took another two minutes before the flow ended. The spoon was pulled forcefully out of my ass and more oil was applied. I was released from the rail; I had to be supported by Hosi and Reta. I thought even I might become rough and surly if I had to undergo that kind of treatment every week.No sooner had I been released than Michael was led to the rail. He fought the entire way, not that it did any good. A new bowl was produced and the process begun. Michael fought every second and his pain was obvious. When he was finally released he managed to throw off his guards and run into the river. He was able to swim to the middle, but the rapid flow proved too much for him. He was swept away in an instant. I turned away to see Hosi with her hands to her face, “Oh no…there is a waterfall. He will be killed.”That made me more determined than ever. “Let's return to your house, Hosi. Do you think I will be able to see the Queen tomorrow? I have something of great importance to ask her. Will you please accompany me?”“I will ask Reta to set it up for you. She has a higher rank than I do. Let's go…I can see that you need to rest. That was quite an ordeal for you and then…to lose your friend….” We walked slowly back up the lane. At her house she placed me carefully onto the bed and covered me with a light blanket. I fell asleep quickly.I awoke in mid-afternoon to a clamor nearby. I walked out to see that Michael's body had been recovered. His body was badly bruised and broken. As I noticed a four-inch gash in his right abdomen a thought flew through my brain. It was like a ghost—something that lacked substance that I could grab on to. ‘Poor Mike,” I thought. How different things could have been for both of us if I could convince the Queen tomorrow. Hosi walked up as I stood there and took my arm. I could tell she was sympathetic—what a waste! Mike was a brilliant geologist and a better partner in our explorations. Many times he had kept me in stitches with his stories of his native Ireland. In contrast, all I could share were stories of growing up in a dirty industrial city in New Jersey.Unconsciously, I took Hosi's hand in mine as we returned to her house. “Will you put your finger into me again, David?”“Of course, Hosi-- but a little later. I want to talk to you about tomorrow when I see the Queen. I understand why your tribe has milked men. You told me that the last men here were brutes—no ruler would endanger her subjects by having them engage in sex with such men. However, the milking was as brutal and barbaric as those men could ever have been. Not only did it hurt me, but I was also burned and humiliated by it. I would probably rebel if I had to do it repeatedly. I saw the women who received the sperm…the seed; all that effort to try to impregnate four women—two for each of us.“It can be done much easier and more effectively if I am permitted to have sex with them. I can probably do four or five a week by myself. I will propose to have sex with you to show the Queen how it will work, but there will be a difference with you. I will give myself...my soul…to you. I will give only my seed to the others. Will you help me?”“You will put your penis in me?” she asked. I nodded and continued, “It will hurt a bit at first. All women are born with a membrane that partially covers the tunnel. It must be ripped, but after that you should feel a great deal of pleasure. In fact, I think I will pleasure you first.”“Sometimes, David I find what you say to be very confusing, but I will help you. I liked the part about you giving me your soul. I will also give you mine.” I looked into her eyes, pulled her to me and kissed her. It seemed to last forever. I reached around her and untied her skirt. I lowered it gently to the floor just before I led her almost naked to the bed. I began to unbutton my shirt, but Hosi stopped me so she could do it herself. She grinned as she opened my belt and dropped my shorts and boxers. She gripped my cock and pulled me to her on the bed.We lay in the late afternoon coolness clinging to each other. I loved the feeling of Hosi's skin against mine, especially when she pressed her firm breasts into my chest. I broke the kiss momentarily to tell her, “I love the touch of your skin against mine.”Hosi giggled, “Do you know what I love, David?” She ran her fingers through my chest hair. “It is soft and sometimes it tickles, but…enough talking.” She resumed the kiss, her tongue adventurously exploring my mouth. I reached down between her legs finding her wet again. Her nectar ran down her thighs. I rubbed my fingers in her, drenching them. Then, breaking the kiss, I held them to her lips. She licked them and sucked them into her mouth. I took her hand and rubbed her fingers along her thighs. I brought them to my mouth. I ran my fingers into her slit again, entering her seconds later. I wanted her to feel pleasure, but not to cum—that would occur tomorrow.I knew she was hooked when, instinctively, she took my cock into her hand and stroked it slowly. “Oh, Hosi that feels so good. I can't wait to fuck you tomorrow.” Hosi moved back a bit, “Fuck? What does that mean?”“You just asked me one of the hardest questions. The word ‘fuck' has many meanings. It can mean sexual intercourse or congress between a man and a woman. It can also mean something vile. Don't ask me to explain how a word that describes the most beautiful thing that can happen between a man and a woman can also mean something vile and disgusting because I do not know. If I asked to fuck you, that would be good, but if I said, ‘Fuck you' that would be bad. Do you understand?”Hosi thought for a few minutes before responding, “No!”“Just as well. Your people don't really need it. I'll just tell you I want to make love to you.”“Do you want that, David?”“More than anything, but I think we need to wait for the Queen to give her permission.” Just then Reta walked in to tell us that Queen Aleppa would meet with me at midmorning tomorrow. I thanked her and joined Hosi in preparing for our dinner. I ate several of the fertility fruit while we worked. That night we spooned nervously in anticipation of tomorrow.We woke early, sharing several yummy kisses just to get us into the mood. We ate a light breakfast of fruit and bread. I suggested we bathe so we would be clean when we met the Queen. It was just after ten when Reta came for us. A few minutes later we were kneeling before the Queen. “You asked to see me, Dr. Schneider?”“Yes, thank you Queen Aleppa. I want you to know that someone has harmed me—hurt me badly, in fact.”“WHAT? Who would dare to violate my orders?”“I regret to tell you that it was your milkers. If I may say, the process is barbaric and very inefficient, as well. I was brutalized in an attempt to impregnate only two women. If you will give your permission I believe I can double that or better.”“How would you do that?”“By having sex—regular biological sex. I believe I could have sex with four or five women each week. The remaining days would be for Hosi.”“I understand you are not making any use of your house, but are spending all your time with Hosi.”“Yes, your highness. I am in love with Hosi and with your permission I would ask her to be my mate. I will give the other women my sperm…my seed…but not my heart or soul.”“I don't know…I have been told this can be a brutal act. I would not want any of my subjects harmed.”“Hosi and I are willing to demonstrate if you would have a mattress brought here.” Queen Aleppa gave the matter some thought before clapping her hands and giving the order. Minutes later a grass mattress roughly the size of a double bed was placed on the floor in front of her throne. I bowed to the Queen and turned to Hosi. “Do you trust me, Hosi? Do you love me?” She nodded twice as I led her to the mattress.“This is usually done in privacy,” I told the Queen, “but since this is a demonstration you and the others present are welcome to observe.” I brought Hosi to me and we kissed gently. However, it was merely seconds before our passion grew in spite of the audience. Hosi reached up to unbutton my shirt. It was discarded on the floor. My shorts and boxers joined the pile seconds later. I reached behind Hosi to remove her skirt; if was followed by her undergarment. We stood naked before the Queen, but neither of us noticed—we were totally absorbed in each other.Gently, I lowered Hosi following her shortly thereafter. We held each other tenderly as I began to kiss my way down her body. I kissed and suckled each breast and licked her navel. Hosi writhed under my ministrations and gasped when I first licked her cunt. I spread her legs and, beginning at her anus, licked my way up, covering her entire organ with my mouth. Her labia were red and engorged with her desire so I diverted my attention to her slit. I licked and sucked, drinking her fluids as Hosi jumped and rolled. Then I attacked her clit. I licked and sucked it between my teeth as Hosi thrashed. When she came she screamed at the top of her lungs. The guards rushed forward and grabbed me.“NO! STOP! (pant) (pant) He (pant) did (pant) not (pant) (pant) hurt me. I have (pant) (pant) never felt such pleasure. That is why I screamed.” Her chest was heaving as the guards released me. “I think I understand what you said yesterday about pleasuring me. What was that?”“You had an orgasm…a really, really big one. I will have one when I release my seed in you and you may have another when we make love.” She pulled me from the guards into a long embrace and kiss. “Do it, David. Put your penis in me. I want you so badly.”I broke the kiss to address the Queen, “I have told Hosi that this may hurt a bit in the beginning. All women are born with a membrane—some thin material—that covers part of the tunnel. It must be ripped. Once that is done there should be only pleasure. You were right—some men can make this a brutal act. I am not one of those men. I was raised to love and respect women and I have already told you how much I love Hosi. I would use the same approach with any of the women in your tribe.”I turned back to Hosi, kissing her again. I rose over her and positioned my cock at the entrance of her tunnel. I ran my cock up and down her slit, making sure she was lubricated before slowly pushing into her. I pushed in and stopped, but Hosi wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled herself up—nothing happened. I would explain but not now. I was too much enthralled with my lover's hot tight pussy. She gripped me like a velvet vise as I thrust into her slowly. This was Hosi's first time so I needed to be careful. God knows how much I'd want her to do it again…and again…and again.Hosi had great instincts; she began to move—to meet every thrust with one of her own. I hadn't cum in weeks—there was no orgasm from my milking—so I wasn't going to last long. “I'm sorry, Hosi I'm going to cum soon. I'm going to give you my seed—now! I grunted and groaned several times as I blew my semen deep into Hosi's hot pussy. I was half-way through when she came again, bucking vigorously into me. I collapsed, sweating, onto her. I kissed her over and over before rolling off.“My Queen, you saw that Hosi had no pain. Sometimes a young girl will break her hymen—the barrier—if she participates in a sport or other rigorous activity. That seems to have happened with Hosi. I think it may be true with a number of other women in the tribe.”Queen Aleppa thought for several minutes before speaking, “What did you think, Hosi?”“I can't wait for David to do it to me again. I loved it. It was wonderful and I agree with him—the milking was terrible. It cost Dr. Sullivan's life.”“Perhaps…how would you manage this, Dr. Schneider?” I explained what I had in mind—bigger bed or, at least, a bigger mattress; a clean sheet for every woman; the Queen to select and send them to me after lunch; two days working followed by a day off with Hosi followed by two more work days and two days to relax. I would try to inseminate women four days out of seven. Queen Aleppa agreed, Hosi and I dressed, bowed and left.We were halfway back to her house when the ghost took form, “Oh my God. We have to go back to the Queen…quickly.” We ran and interrupted her. She was not pleased until I spoke, “Queen Aleppa, what has happened to Dr. Sullivan's body? It is critical that I have access to it. Your tribe's very survival depends on it.” She stopped her work and led us to the makings of a funeral pyre. I asked one of the women for a sharp knife. I cut into the gash I had seen earlier. Reaching inside his body I found it and pulled it out. “Thank God,” I said, falling to my knees on the hard ground. I showed the Queen the bloody object.“This is called a micro-transmitter. On a certain date it will send a signal that will allow our company to locate us. Likewise, if it is damaged or burned it will send the signal before it is destroyed. If that happened your hidden valley would be discovered. Your way of life would be destroyed.” I showed her the scar on the side of my abdomen. “I also have such a device implanted in me. If it was on the surface—under my skin--I would cut it out, but it is implanted deep under the muscle. Only a skilled surgeon can remove it.” I looked at my watch and checked the date. “I have ten weeks before my signal is sent. I need to be far away by then, but I assure you that I will return.”I turned to Hosi, “I love you and don't want to leave you, but I must. I promise you that I will return to take you as my mate. I want to live here with you forever.” We spoke with the Queen, discussing the best way to manage my departure. It was decided that building a canoe and going down the river would be the fastest. That way I could remain here and hopefully impregnate as many women as possible. I swore that I would not reveal the valley or the Amazons. I discussed what should be done with Mike's body and after considering a number of alternatives it was agreed that he would be transported to a waterfall about 50 miles away and buried at its base. I returned the transmitter to his body. Hosi and I left, returning to her house.The following morning a large mattress and a quantity of sheets were delivered to my house. A larger bed and mattress were also sent to Hosi's. Apparently the Queen approved of our union. Hosi and I met with several workers—they had made canoes in the past and asked me if I had any experience. I told them I had not. “Then,” the leader said, “we need to do a sloppy job, one a first-time builder would do. Your canoe will leak a bit, but we will give you something to bail with. There will be rough edges and uneven sides, but don't worry, it will float and get you down river safely.” I thanked them and returned to the village.Hosi and I went to bathe just before lunch. I explained that I would bathe at least twice daily—before and after sex with the tribe's women. I wanted to be clean for the women and clean for Hosi afterward. We ate our lunch and I returned for the first time in days to my house. I laid the sheet over the mattress, folding the edges underneath. I had just finished when I looked up to greet my first visitor—it was the leader of the party that had captured us.I rose and took her hand. I could tell she was nervous. I kissed her cheek as I helped her undress. When I was naked I helped her down to the mattress. I had her lie on her stomach so I could massage her shoulders, back, and legs. The massage helped her to relax; she sighed when I rolled her over. I leaned down to kiss her, my tongue penetrating her mouth as I massaged her breast. I was not surprised to find her pussy gushing. I rose up and pushed easily into her cunt. I expected a barrier, but she, too, had none. Their training must be so arduous that most if not all had ruptured their hymens at a very early age. I slid all the way into her easily. I fucked her with long slow strokes, increasing my tempo as we went. Soon I was pumping her pussy hard. It would be nice if she could cum, but that wasn't my priority—I wanted to knock her up! She suddenly began to meet my thrusts; her actions brought her clit into contact with my pubic bone. We exploded together as I drove deep into her, bathing her womb with my baby cream. I withdrew after I had shot my load into her, but I made her lie there for thirty minutes with her legs in the air.I helped her to her feet when her time was up, kissed her gently, and placed the soiled sheet outside my door for pick-up by a member of the Queen's staff. I walked to the pool, finding Hosi there waiting for me—she was pouting. I lifted her chin and asked her with my eyes. “I wish you would just make love to me.”“That's what I wish, also, but I promised the Queen and the alternative is milking. We must think of your tribe. It needs new members badly. She shook her head in agreement, but I could see that she still didn't like it.That's the way my days went except for those days I spent happily with Hosi. However, almost three weeks later I had just finished off my thirteenth virgin when I heard a bell pealing loudly. “Quick,” my partner of the day squealed, “that is the emergency bell!” We rose and ran out of my house. I met Hosi and we ran to the Queen's residence where we learned that a huge jaguar had found its way into the valley. Few people in the States realize that the jaguar is the third largest wild cat behind only the tiger and lion. Such an animal would present a tremendous danger to the tribe. I offered to hunt it down if the Queen would return my rifle and backpack. “How will you find it,” Queen Aleppa asked.“I won't; it will find me. If you will allow me an old goat from the herd I will set it out as bait. Jaguars are nocturnal hunters; it will come at night and I will lie in ambush.” She agreed and we selected an area just outside the village. I tied the poor animal to a stake and sought refuge in the nearest house almost one hundred yards away. I heard a noise behind me and when I turned it was Hosi and Reta with their spears. “Be quiet, we may have a long night ahead of us,” I whispered. I sat between them with my arms around them.I removed my night scope from the backpack and placed it on the rifle. I loaded it with hollow points and sat down to wait. No need to keep watch all night; the goat would warn us when the jaguar approached. It was just before three when the goat bleated crazily. I took my station at the window, leaning the barrel on the sill—I could just make out the cat in the trees beyond. It approached warily and as it did I got him into my sights. I inhaled and released; slowly I squeezed the trigger and fired—a head shot—just before it reached the goat. The hollow point spread like a mushroom as it passed through the big cat's brain. The jaguar did a back flip and when it hit the ground it was dead. I stood up and walked out with Hosi and Reta. I warned them to be careful in case the cat was only wounded. I put another bullet into its head when we were ten feet away just to be sure.I tied a rope around the cat's head and hauled it up onto a tree limb. Using a sharp knife I quickly separated the skin from the flesh. Hosi and Reta cut away the meat for distribution, placing it in large cloth sacks and giving the Queen the select cuts. I hung the pelt between two trees to dry. The following day I began to carefully scrape away all the fat and organic matter. It had no odor when the skin had completely dried and the pelt was extremely supple. I rolled it and presented it to the Queen. “Thank you, Dr. Schneider, but I think you are giving it to the wrong person. Hosi, please accept this gift from your mate. I give my approval to your union.” I handed the pelt to Hosi just before she jumped into my arms, kissing me wildly while Queen Aleppa sat by laughing.The weeks flew by quickly…much too quickly. By the time I had to leave I'd had sex with almost forty women—forty incredibly beautiful women, but none as beautiful as my Hosi.We finalized my departure plans. My canoe would be lowered alongside the waterfall to some brush at the bottom. I would have two paddles in case one should break. I would be given several goatskins of water in addition to our two canteens. I would take my back pack and Mike's in addition to some food. I tested my balky GPS and—surprise—it worked. I took special note of the latitude. If I had to I could follow that line until I found the valley and Hosi. I was really good at remembering numbers.The Queen suspended my breeding activities a few days before my departure so I could spend the days and nights exclusively with Hosi. We spent most of our time in bed naked kissing and holding each other. We fucked plenty, but mostly we held each other. I must have told her that I loved her a thousand times—almost as many as she told me. Finally, the time came. I arose early, a tear in my eye. Hosi, Reta and many of those I had coupled with walked to the waterfall. I kissed Hosi, reminding her that I would come back as soon as possible before lowering myself down a long rope to the river bed below. I pulled the canoe from the brush, blew a kiss to Hosi, and moved carefully into the canoe. The seat was just above the floor, making the whole craft more stable, something I would almost certainly need. I paddled quickly into the stream.I moved steadily downstream. The paddling was easy, more with the idea of keeping the canoe straight and in the current than actually propelling the craft. I was pretty sure I was doing more than five miles an hour. In a day I could be more than a hundred miles away. The transmitter would send its signal the following day. I knew I was on a tributary of the Amazon and paddled to the shore where the two met. I pulled the canoe up the bank, removed a long thin strip of brightly colored cloth and tied it onto a slender tree limb. Hopefully, I'd be able to find it when I returned. I pushed the canoe back into the water. The Amazon's flow was much slower so I had to paddle harder to maintain my pace.I ignored the insects and paddled through the night, wanting to put as much distance between us as possible. It was mid-morning of the second day that I saw the town down river on the right. This had been our embarkation point months before. I knew I could get a small plane to take me down to the coast and, from there, a flight back to the States. I pulled the canoe up to a small dock, threw the backpacks up, climbed out wearily, and let the canoe drift into the current—it had done its job.I found a small hotel and booked a room using my corporate credit card. The first thing I did was call the office. I let them know that Mike had perished—no need to lie. I told them that he tried to cross a river and was swept away in the current. I found him at the bottom of a fifty foot waterfall broken and dead. I took a long hot shower, shaved, and went to find a place to eat. I missed Hosi already—my heart ached for her touch. I made arrangements to fly to Recife from which I'd fly to the U.S.A. I got a haircut and some new clothes—mine were pretty well shot. The next day I was gone; the following I was home in New York City. I could have slept on the plane, but I had a lot of planning to do. I knew I was finished when I saw the Statue of Liberty. I took a cab directly from Kennedy Airport to the office, not bothering to wash or change into my corporate garb. I had a story to tell and sell.I climbed out of the cab and stomped into the lobby like a madman, wearing a khaki shirt, shorts, and hiking boots and carrying the two backpacks. I was told by some asshole doorman that I needed to be properly dressed to enter the building. The look I gave him would have cut through steel; he backed away and I walked to the elevator. There were several people waiting; I pushed them out of the way, telling them to get the next car. When one guy protested, asking who the hell did I think I was I told him as I pulled my machete from my pack. He suddenly remembered a prior appointment. I got off at the 37th floor and stormed past the shocked receptionist. It had been more than six months since I'd been to the office and I had never seen her before. I charged right past his secretary and kicked in Stewart Marks' office door. I pulled out the crummy GPS and threw it at him. “Here's your fucking GPS, asshole! Maybe if it had actually worked Mike Sullivan would still be alive, you fucking jerk!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs.Marks stood up in his $2,000 suit telling me I couldn't speak to him that way. “Oh really? While you were sitting here shining up your ass and drinking fucking martinis at lunch I was out in the fucking jungle with Mike Sullivan risking my life every fucking second made so much worse because you couldn't find your way clear to buy a $500 GPS. This is a fucking Fortune 100 company, shithead! I'll bet you shit in your pants in Central Park, you fucking loser. Try spending a night in the jungle.”“I'm calling security,” he screamed.“Go ahead—I quit anyway. Nothing is worse than working for an asshole like you. Here's something to complain about, douche bag!” I pulled my right hand back and punched him in the nose. Like the sissy he was it bled like crazy, destroying his monogrammed shirt and suit. Tsk, Tsk—too fucking bad!“I'll have you arrested!”“No, you will not.” The voice came from behind me; it was John Spillane, the CEO. “Hello, David,” he greeted me, “I guess it was pretty tough out there.”“Worse than tough, sir—it was terrible. Most of the time we didn't know where we were. Even if we found any bauxite we wouldn't be able to do anything about it because we had no idea where we were and all because this idiot wouldn't spend 500 bucks.” Security arrived and tried to remove me.“No,” John told them, “remove him. You're fired Stewart. I can overlook a lot of things, but risking men's lives to save a couple of bucks is inexcusable. Get out now. David, please come to my office.”To be continued, by senorlongo for SexStories.

Is it OK to pee on your feet to get rid of foot and nail fungus? Also, if you say 'hi' kinda differently to your boss than you would to a friend or family member, you have something in common with the biggest land mammal on earth.

For Pete's Sake 05.25.24 - Three of the Most Important Stories of the week -Travis Kelce feels like a Jabroni-Man sues the Las Vegas Venetian after finding a scorpion in his underwear-Cicadas can urinate 10 feet and they're aiming for you this summer To subscribe to The Pete McMurray Show Podcast just click here

Get ready for car talk, a big announcement, and our first TRIPLE FEATURE of 2024! This week, Josh Highsmith of The Judgies podcast and Hosh On YouTube channel tells us a true petty crime story from his past. But before we get to taht, we gotta have a full episode!Trevin is Finding the silver lining in missing ice cream, while Amanda's youngest child is helpful in the most unhelpful ways. The crew shares Two Truths and a Lie about farts and Jerrys, and then it's on to THREE STORIES all connected by scenes in a car.Today's Stories:When Car Shopping Goes WrongThe Pettiest Training DayJosh's Heist (written and told by Josh Highsmith)Follow The Judgies or listen HEREGo to Josh's YOUTUBE CHANNELFollow us on Instagram: HereFollow us on Facebook: HereFollow us on TikTok: HereIf you have a crime you'd like to hear on our show OR have a personal petty story, email us at livelaughlarceny@gmail.com or send us a DM on any of our socials!

Summary: In this episode of Uber Tales, Brad recounts a story of picking up a passenger in a wheelchair who had difficulty reaching the car due to a blocked street. Despite initial frustration, Brad learns a lesson in compassion and carries Clorox wipes in his car. Joshua shares a tale of a flirty passenger who jumps in the front seat and engages in conversation during the ride. The episode concludes with takeaways about not judging passengers based on appearance, being cautious of flirty passengers, and showing compassion to those in need. Takeaways Always prioritize your safety as an Uber driver and trust your instincts if a situation feels uncomfortable or unsafe. Communicate openly and honestly with passengers about your availability and limitations as a driver. Be cautious of passengers who exhibit strange or suspicious behavior, and take appropriate measures to ensure your safety. Don't hesitate to contact emergency assistance or report any concerning incidents to Uber. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:28 Choosing Who Goes First 05:04 Takeaway: Don't Urinate in an Uber Driver's Car 06:08 Josh's Uber Tale: Flirty Passenger Going to a Bar 11:21 Takeaway: Carry Clorox Wipes in Your Car 12:45 Takeaway: Don't Judge Passengers Based on Appearance 13:33 Transition to Josh's Story 14:01 Josh's Uber Tale: Picking Up a Flirty Passenger 22:39 Takeaway: Show Compassion and Help Passengers in Need 23:06 Stranded in the Snow 23:58 Parking and Police 25:25 Avoiding Tickets 26:22 Passenger Requests 27:19 Waiting for Passengers 28:17 Strange Behavior 29:13 Unsettling Revelations 30:40 Uncomfortable Situation 32:24 Suspicious Behavior 33:20 Strange Claims 34:15 Body Language 35:06 Feeling Unsafe 37:23 Emergency Assistance 38:23 Quick Exit 39:17 Safety Precautions 41:38 Passenger Ratings 44:48 Uber Gripes

It's Super Tuesday! Today the Chicks chat about the liberal FREAKOUT over yesterday's SCOTUS ruling, Keith Olbermann's breakdown about urine, and Megyn Kelly's best rant yet.Stop data brokers from exposing your personal information. Go to our sponsor https://aura.com/chicks to get a 14-day free trial and see how much of yours is being soldGet your daily immune boost with the Immune Super Boost from Healthycell. Go tohttps://healthycell.com/chicks and use promo code CHICKS for 20% off your first order.Save an extra 10% on subscription options plus get free Burgers for LIFE. Visithttps://omahasteaks.com/chicksVisit https://Mypillow.com/CHICKS Use Code CHICKS - Save big on the Giza Dream Sheets and more!

It’s Super Tuesday! Today the Chicks chat about the liberal FREAKOUT over yesterday’s SCOTUS ruling, Keith Olbermann’s breakdown about urine, and Megyn Kelly’s best rant yet.

In this episode, Trace wonders if "Weird" Al Yankovic influenced a generation of people to say "my back teeth are floating," and Julian time travels to the Triassic with a cold (and maybe a chicken).QUESTIONSTrace: "Why do my teeth feel like they are floating or vibrating when I really have to go to the bathroom. " from SpencerJulian: "If you went back in time to see the dinosaurs, would they go extinct from the common cold?" from NitaiDo you have an absurd question? Maybe it's silly idea you had, a shower thought about the nature of reality, or a ridiculous musing about your favorite food? If you want an answer, no matter the question, tell us!Visit our website ThatsAbsurdShow.com to listen to every episode of the show, see what videos or images we share from our research. Also on our website you can submit questions directly to us thatsabsurdshow.com/ask. If you love email for some reason you can also share them to hello at thatsabsurdshow.com. If we use your question we'll give you a shout out in the episode.SUPPORT THE SHOW: JOIN NEBULAWant to listen without any ads and support our show? You can! Join Nebula with our link and you get both. You get an ad-free feed of our show and it directly supports the making of That's Absurd Please Elaborate (and tons of other independent creator content too). To join visit go.nebula.tv/thatsabsurdshow.SOCIALS[[ JULIAN ]]Instagram: instagram.com/huggetoutThreads: threads.net/@huggetoutX: x.com/huggetout[[ TRACE ]]Instagram: instagram.com/tracedominguezYouTube: youtube.com/@tracedominguezThreads: threads.net/@tracedominguezTiktok: tiktok.com/@tracedominguezCREDITSThis episode of That's Absurd Please Elaborate was written by Trace Dominguez and Julian Huguet, edited by Kyle Sisk, and produced by all three of us.Theme Music by Epidemic Sound; learn more here: http://nebula.tv/epidemicThanks for listening to Episode 22 ofThat's Absurd Please Elaborate. We appreciate you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our Idiot of the Week contenders for today: a woman threatens to urinate on plane, a woman sues Taco Bell for being forced to quit after reporting raucous Christmas party to Human Resources, a man's driver's license is suspended 18 times over just a few years, and a streaker roams Disney Land's "It's A Small World" ride.Your weekly fix of wacky, zany craziness as only Frangela can provide! You send in stories of real-life idiots and we mock them for your edification. It is our sacred duty.  Do you want to hear more Idiots of the Week?? Become a Frangela patron at Patreon.com and get three exclusive Micro Idiot podcasts each week as our thank you for your support.Frangela swag available at https://www.zazzle.com/store/frangela! Book a personalized video shout-out from Frangela at Cameo.com/frangeladuo.

Do your fluctuating hormones have you staring at your bedroom ceiling instead of getting a good night's sleep? The National Sleep Foundation reports nearly half of women in midlife say they have trouble sleeping. Poor sleep quality affects many areas of your life—your daytime alertness, mental sharpness, irritability, mood swings, and interest in sex. And it makes you more susceptible to chronic diseases and weight gain.On today's episode, Cody has invited Dr. Valerie Cacho to share her expertise with us. Her expertise includes: diagnosing and treating medical sleep disorders during perimenopause and menopause, women's sleep concerns, mind-body approaches to insomnia, self-compassion training, clinical hypnotherapy, and promoting sleep health and wellness. She is the president and founder of Sleep Life Med, a tele-sleep practice in Hawaii and California. Additionally, Dr. Cacho is the CEO of Sleephoria, an online educational and sleep wellness company for women.Want to connect with dr. Cacho?You can find out more about Valerie through her website, Instagram and LinkedIn.Did you learn something new today? Be sure to subscribe to this podcast and share this episode with all the girls you love. We would appreciate it if you'd also leave us a rating and review on iTunes. You can watch full episodes on YouTube now as well. Like and Subscribe to the It's Hertime Podcast HERE!Want to join our Mixhers Girl community and keep this conversation going? We'd love to hear your thoughts, feelings and experiences! Join us HERE!Join Mixhers email list and be the first to have access to new products and be the girl in the know! Follow Cody and Jess on Instagram:@codyjeansanders@jesstoolson@mixhers

Twenty-two-year-old Jordan Rivera decided to relieve himself in a pond one night and woke up in the hospital minus an arm.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week the girls and the ginger return with a quiz. Who's most likely to get a tramp stamp? Urinate in public? And more! On the stand this week: The Hamburglar, Trader Joe's parking lots, sandwiches for dinner, and meat mascots. Then! A worstie with a menstrual mishap! Enjoy!

Most novices in chicken breeding are confused with a lack of pee traces in the yard. So, the question do chickens pee or urinate is one of the mysteries you should solve. It is crucial to understand that birds, including chickens, have a different physiology than mammals. Even though poultry has kidneys, they don't have a bladder to store urine. Therefore, chickens never release it like your cat or dog. Instead, their bodies eliminate it along with poop. Let's see.  Full:  https://www.coolchickenbreeds.com/do-chickens-pee-or-urinate/

Mom sells her soiled underwear on OnlyFans. Air Indian allows a man to urinate on a passenger. General fired for ordering troops to take his mom shopping. // Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian and recorded in a closet. Show your SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon where you'll get bonus episodes and other weird af news stuff http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - WATCH Weird AF News on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/weirdafnews - check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones or http://twitter.com/funnyjones

We have a pair of guests on, Krystle and Evan McDougle, Caleb's sister in-law and husband. We talk about our enjoyment of guns, things that we've stolen, from wads of cash to fig newtons, Caleb lets everyone in on a tip for car urination.

Todd & Pete while shredding the GNAR at Dragon Trail come upon a nice lady relieving herself. This poses the question whether it is legal or illegal to do in an emergency situation or while in the back country.  What is disoderly conduct? and will I have a criminal conviction if guilty of a 90 day misdemeanor TWO STRAINS OF THE WEEK!!! FUN! FUN! SHOW  PLEASE SUBSCRIBE

Erin, Jimmy, and Todd are finally back! They discuss all the news in the NFL, including Tom Brady's absence and the Deshaun Watson suspension. Plus, they learn about some Roman history, welcome a new segment, and pick what songs they think players would sing on The Masked Singer! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/game-on-wisconsin/support

Comic Craig Robinson joins us, DPD officer Loren Courts fatally shot on duty, RIP James Caan, Brittney Griner's WNBA privilege, more Hunter Biden pics, Maz checks in from the road, a new Bonerline, Boris Johnson quits, and Brad Pitt can't see faces.RIP to James Caan. The famous flakka face-eater, Austin Harrouff, is back in the news and looking to plead insanity.The hardest working man in comedy & commercials, Craig Robinson, joins us to promote his upcoming show at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle.Everyone keeps claiming James Caan was a huge MSU football hero, but no one can find stats or the position he played. Radar Online goes a different route and try to make James Caan a murderer.Brittney Griner has pleaded guilty. Her WNBA coach feels that "if she was LeBron James she'd be home now", but Paul Whelan's family knows that she only got a call from the President because she's famous. Al Sharpton demands to go to Russia to free her... after demanding the Biden meets with him.Check out this truck getting BLASTED by lightning. SIST: we find out the ridiculous reason the person was filming.Highland Park Shooting News: Denise Pesina is a terrible mom, but has a pretty nice rack. Bobby Crimo posted pictures of his sex doll girlfriend and loser car. His dad breaks his silence to say that he bears no responsibility.Call or dial 209-66-Boner to participate in the Bonerline.Joe Rogan says he turned down multiple offers to interview Donald Trump, but President Trump says that he declined Rogan's interview request.Billionaire News: Jeff Bezos massive yacht is stuck. Elon Musk is the White Nick Cannon. He has 10 kids by three women. Bill Gates has a hot daughter and the family is getting trolled over her inter-racial relationship. Dave Chappelle (not a billionaire) spent some money to make a land development project go away.Vince Neil needs a teleprompter to remember the lyrics to his own songs. Motley Crue will be in town Sunday.Wolfgang Van Halen is engaged to someone that looks like his mom and dad.Brad Pitt is face blind, but he sure knows how to see a body.Tom Mazawey joins the show to promote Legacy Partners Air Show, discuss booze at college football games in Michigan, Big Ten expansion, the mystery of Eduardo Rodriguez, eulogize James Caan and more.Marc's new true crime recommendation is "Girl in the Picture" on Netflix. He requests that you don't watch the trailer before viewing the documentary.Urinate anywhere you want in Kalamazoo.Kenneth Petty has been sentenced to live in Nicki Minaj's mansion.Detroit police officer, Loren Courts, shot and killed in the line of duty.Nobody is signing up for the military these days.Lifeguards are about to get a big raise.Laura Ingraham is in fear of Reefer Madness.Look at Kate Hudson's boobs. Now buy her vodka. Oh, and buy Dylan Sprouse's mead. In fact, buy all the celeb's booze.Here's Hunter Biden smoking crack yet again. Nobody seems to care.Boris Johnson resigns over a scandal that wasn't even his own making.Nolan Finley pops off on Kwame Kilpatrick.Enjoy an encore of our interview with James Caan and The Program Cliff Notes Theater.Social media is dumb, but we're on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter (Drew and Mike Show, Marc Fellhauer, Trudi Daniels and BranDon).

What did corporate say about the radio station's "On a Scale of 1 to 10, Urinate" sign above the urinal? What did Matt witness Stevie Wonder do in the Apple Store? How much will the electric Back to the Future car cost, and will it travel through time? The answers to these questions, plus George Brett craps his pants, in today's show.

Clement is joined by the Senior Director of Student Affairs at the Stellenbosch University, Dr Choice Makhetha to discuss the incident that occurred at university over the weekend and what the university is doing about it.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is Matt becoming the old man who yells at the neighborhood kids? What are Hello Fresh ice packs made of? Is it appropriate to dial 911 for a Happy Meal? The answers to these questions, plus J.Lo's engagement, in today's show.

-Sophia Urista, urinates on fan -Joe Rogan -Join the Mile High club while a 51 year old man watches -Man threatens TSA agent, proceeds to masturbate in front of TSA agent -& much more...

If you have diabetes, one of the common problems is either frequent urination or the feeling that you always have to go to the bathroom. It's so common for diabetics that this symptom is an indication to doctors that you might have the disease. Young or old, diagnosed or not, if you have urinary problems related to diabetes, there is help available to make your life better. Urologist Dr. Sara Lenherr and Dr. Kirtly Jones discuss the issues, available tests and the solutions.

More than just your average Podcast. This is the conversation where "intellect meets stupidity" and "intelligence flirts with Foolishness", and knowledge taunts ignorance. Sharing their views, opinions, and laughter about everything from pop culture, to mainstream media, social, political, sex, relationship, race and religion. No topic is off the table. A cast that dares to be unapologetically genuine in a world where social opinion rules, This is us, no bulls**t just flavor this as Intellectually Foolish.

Toronto - Canadian authorities released the recording of a recent 911 call as an example of what does NOT constitute an emergency.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Did you go to Aulani in April? Otherwise you're not allowed to pee in public, So, I guess we're freeloaders, TOM... wait, what? Anyway, enjoy the episode because we're so happy to have you! themeparkauthor.com/shop Email us at dsppodcast@gmail.com instagram: disney_support_group Facebook: Disney Support Group the podcast. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/disney-support-group/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/disney-support-group/support

What can we learn from a bunch of rhesus macaques playing video games and 'choking' under the pressure? Also, it may be better for all of us if you don't get a 3rd jab any time soon, and a deep dive into the experiment that potty-trained cows.

COVID-19 booster shots work really well, but public health officials from around the world are saying most people shouldn't get one. Also, why did scientists in Germany teach cows to urinate in one spot only?

Proverbs Discussed in this segment

The gang stops being polite and starts getting REAL! Supreem , Laura, Toxic Mike and special guest Thee Godfrey give real personal perspectives on everything from Bill Cosby to R. Kelly and even Harvey Weisntein!  Emotions get going as Supreem shares, not the most popular opinions, but real ones. It all started when Supreem reviewed very controversial comments by Da Baby

In this episode i am gives you information about How to Urinate..? ◾️ My Instagram ID : https://instagram.com/pratikr_07?utm_medium=copy_link ◾️ Homeremedies Instagram Id : https://instagram.com/home_remedies_with_pratik?utm_medium=copy_link ◾️Indianarmy72020 Instagram Id : https://instagram.com/indianarmy72020?utm_medium=copy_link ◾️Youtube Channel Link : https://youtu.be/vL3RURa_mjo

With fans back at the Halliwell Jones cheering on the Wire, the podcast ironically has no applause for Stevie’s team selection. Rob finds himself babysitting as his 6th wife deserts him for Eurovision. Dennis bathes in his fails and unexpectedly massages in Imperial Leather. And Sam’s dog senses an upset, following its scent-less antics. Plus, Chris Sandow contacts the pod and HMS HJ drops anchor in the Caribbean. Enjoy.

We’re still at it. And we still have no idea what it is. But also it is you, listening, and then saying to yourself, “They are still at it, and I have no idea what it is.”

Donate to help the channel grow: https://www.patreon.com/join/sounza​ Amazon has apologised to a US politician for falsely denying that drivers are, at times, forced to urinate in plastic bottles. Mark Pocan, a Democrat from Wisconsin, referenced Amazon making "workers urinate in water bottles" in a tweet. The official Amazon Twitter account then replied: "If that were true, nobody would work for us." The company has now apologised after evidence emerged of drivers having to urinate in bottles. "We owe an apology to Representative Pocan," Amazon said in a statement. "The tweet was incorrect. It did not contemplate our large driver population and instead wrongly focused only on our fulfilment centres." It added that its fulfilment centres all have dozens of toilets that employees can use "at any time". Mr Pocan had criticised Amazon for opposing efforts by workers to unionise a major facility in Alabama. "Paying workers $15/hr doesn't make you a 'progressive workplace' when you union-bust & make workers urinate in water bottles," he wrote last week. Shortly afterwards, Amazon's official account responded: "You don't really believe the peeing in bottles thing, do you? If that were true, nobody would work for us." Several news outlets then quoted numerous Amazon employees who confirmed that they had been left with little option but to urinate in plastic bottles while working. They also described relentless working practices, both in its fulfilment centres and as delivery drivers. The Intercept also said it had obtained internal documents suggesting that Amazon executives were aware of this happening. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sounza_offi...​ Twitter: https://twitter.com/sounza_official​ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sounzaofficial/​ Team TEHQUE: https://discord.gg/eAKMnvA​ Music: www.bensound.com #amazon​ #sounza --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/belano-francique/message

Welcome to the Try-Force Podcast with Mattman, Oldman and Big Brother. Each week we talk about the latest in geek culture and nerdy news. This week Six page Viking crossover, Wakanda Sandwich you want, Netflix's Creed teaser, Live-action Red Hood, The boom in Batman and Phantoms, Lego my egos, Batman beyond broke, Spider-Man's horrible honky accident, Mattman found the quantum story, Nothings in the box at Gamestop, Ask to see Marks bloody chainsaw, Cyberpunk coming by 2077, Oculus owners will need to link to Facebook, Spiders may Urinate fire, Series X Fridgizzle for Frizzle, and more. As always thanks for listening and Game On!

Thad (Jubal Fresh) calls Chase, letting him know he WON'T be able to go back to the gym, after the mess in the bathroom! Chase is really PEED-o'd on this one! Let us know what you think on social!Follow us at: @thejubalshow @jubalfresh @thatdreas @evanontheradioSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thad (Jubal Fresh) calls Chase, letting him know he WON'T be able to go back to the gym, after the mess in the bathroom! Chase is really PEED-o'd on this one! Let us know what you think on social!Follow us at: @thejubalshow @jubalfresh @thatdreas @evanontheradio

This episode gets a little gross. Matthew McConaughey's dad died during sex, pastor urinated on a passenger during a flight, and Jeffrey Toobin jerks off while on a zoom call. Listener beware, this episode is not rated G.

Unlike your dad who went to the shop to get milk and never came back, The Critical Banter Podcast returns as promised - jam packed with classic tales of debauchery such as mild hiking and speeding fines.  However, we are once again missing fan favourite Kushagra, whose disappearance suspiciously coincides with the public surfacing of the various charges held against his notorious moustache doppelganger Ron Jeremy - a coincidence we've been assured by his legal team.  This week's episode kicks off with Rohit's fight for his life as he fights off wild flora to reach his holy land - a lookout fit for his meticulously managed Instagram feed. We finally hear an interesting exchange story from Miguel (not including his exam shenanigans of course) where his substance consuming mate enjoyed an unknown powder found on the sticky dancefloor of a dark student nightclub.  “Law or Not” makes a triumphant return, as we cover a range of potentially fake laws from Canadian Artist quotas to the legalities of pockets on British women's garments. It wouldn't be a complete segment without shithousery, as Rohit fumbles the game and reuses previously covered laws. We end this week's episode with “Mind Your Manners”, analysing the awkward social situations you guys have sent in. In classic Critical Banter fashion, we visit the many intricacies of bathroom and urinal etiquette, including whether Sen was right to pee on the floor of an Airbnb in Phuket. Also this week: Racist brands and foods, Arabic Joe, concealed carry, speeding fines and dogging the boys. Segments this week: The Logue: Tired of reaching around each other (at least on the podcast), the boys have instead decided to reach around the week's news stories, events and viral trends. Law or Not: The boys delve into some laws and determine what is real and what is not the law. Mind Your Manners: The boys discuss the dos and don'ts and correct etiquette to help you out of your next awkward social scenario. ___________________________________________________ FULL PODCAST EPISODES

Airs LIVE Wednesdays 8 pm EST with co-hosts The Honorable Deacon Alowishus 4 Everlove and Christopher Tracy. Post on the show's Facebook page 'Lonely Hearts' Cafe' or tweet @lonelyheartscaf #lhc to join the conversation or call in: 334-505-1940. Pour a drink and join the fellas!

On Saturday, a drunk man was driving his BMW car and stops for a urine break on Noida highway. He stops his car aside on road, during this time some unidentified criminals came and fled with the car. The BMW is driven by Rishab Arora a stockbroker was returning from a party in drunk condition. The car belonged to Arora's brother in law. The owner is still having a 40 lakh loan pending on the BMW car. “Police force including senior officials had reached the spot after a matter was reported that a man's BMW car has been robbed,” said Deputy Commissioner of Police, Central Noida, Harish Chander. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/latestnewssuno/support

In today's episode, we bring back our first recurring guest, good ole' Kenny, and discuss with him the world of Creepy Pasta and conversate about the weirdest place he's ever urinated and or defecated. Music Provided By: Cole Bankston Find Us: Anchor - https://anchor.fm/mindmesh Or any other Podcasting Platform by searching "Mind Mesh" Email us random topics at MindMeshPodcast@gmail.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Talk to a Dr. Berg Keto Consultant today and get the help you need on your journey (free consultation). Call 1-540-299-1557 with your questions about Keto, Intermittent Fasting or the use of Dr. Berg products. Consultants are available Monday through Friday from 8:30am to 9 pm EST. Saturday & Sunday 9 am to 5 pm EST. USA Only. Take Dr. Berg's Free Keto Mini-Course! Overview of Healthy Ketogenic Diet and Intermittent Fasting http://bit.ly/2JIaxNZ http://bit.ly/2PCV1H6 Here's a podcast where Dr. Berg talks about the main reason why you are getting up at night several times to urinate. The bladder has smooth muscle around it that contracts and relaxes. Urinating several times at night is caused by a condition where you could not eliminate all the urine and the muscle tone of the bladder is not fully contracting. It is a problem with the sympathetic nervous system that connects with the muscle and is called sympathetic dominance that is also triggered by too much insulin. Symptoms of Sympathetic Dominance • Difficulty urinating • Straining • Incomplete elimination of urine • Dribbling Dr. Eric Berg DC Bio: Dr. Berg, 51 years of age is a chiropractor who specializes in weight loss through nutritional & natural methods. His private practice is located in Alexandria, Virginia. His clients include senior officials in the U.S. government & the Justice Department, ambassadors, medical doctors, high-level executives of prominent corporations, scientists, engineers, professors, and other clients from all walks of life. He is the author of The 7 Principles of Fat Burning. FACEBOOK: fb.me/DrEricBerg?utm_source=Podcast TWITTER: http://twitter.com/DrBergDC?utm_source=Podcast YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/user/drericberg123?utm_source=Podcast DR. BERG'S SHOP: https://shop.drberg.com/?utm_source=Podcast MESSENGER: https://www.messenger.com/t/drericberg?utm_source=Podcast DR. BERG'S VIDEO BLOG: https://www.drberg.com/blog?utm_source=Podcast

Who else pee's on their loved one in the shower... Strictly for the health benefits. What benefits? Give it a listen and find out. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/nocountryforinfidels/message

The Ginger Chef (otherwise known as Candace Rae’s cousin) joins the show, and offers her expertise on Test Market Tuesday with a Halloween flavour. Unfortunately, the “pee stories” have become a theme on the show this week, so if you have a story to share, call the DAVE Line (as many did on today’s show). Music News You Can Use has some great news for Canadians if you’re a Jimmy Eat World fan! If you haven’t signed up to be a VIP member of the website, you should do that… NOW! You could win a set of 3 Winnipeg Jets seats from the old Winnipeg Arena, and a free visit to George at Henderson Massage Health and Wellness Centre.We Have Merchandise! Use the code safetynet when signing up.Check out More Great Podcasts on The SafetyNetStudio NetworkCheck out the ‘Music News You Can Use’ Daily Playlist on iTunes and SpotifyHere’s The Official Wheeler in The Morning WebsiteSponsors:Vernaus Autobody on HigginsMike Mason of RemaxItty Bitty Baby BoutiqueFranks Pizza has a NEW LOCATIONHenderson Massage Health and Wellness CentreLayer Video ImagingFrigs Natural MeatBarter PayJellyfish Float SpaBulldog Pizza Restaurant and LoungeBulldog Pizza Event ListingSocial Media:SafetyNetStudio - TwitterSafetyNetStudio - InstagramCandace Rae - InstagramDave Wheeler - InstagramDave Wheeler - TwitterDave Wheeler – YouTubeSources:Goldeyes Stadium DealWoman Finds Cocaine in Make-Up DeliveryMusic News You Can Use:NME.comExclaim.caOzzy – No More TearsSharon Osbourne on Ozzy’s New AlbumMegadeath – A Tout Le MondeMegadeath Interview with David EllefsonJimmy Eat World – All The WaySupport the show (https://www.safetynetstudio.com/plans-pricing)

As the SciShow Tangents Month of Fear continues, your hosts get down into the wormy, slimy muck to discuss Ceri’s biggest fear: decomposition! Does that sound too generic to be truly terrifying? That’s what Sam thought too, and now he is also quite scared of decomposing! Boo!   Follow us on Twitter @SciShowTangents, where we’ll tweet out topics for upcoming episodes and you can ask the science couch questions!    If you want to learn more about any of our main topics, check out these links:   [Truth or Fail]   Straw Urinals - https://www.unreservedmedia.com/paris-open-air-urinals/ Peepee Day - https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/earthnews/6554958/Urinate-on-the-compost-heap-to-save-the-planet-says-the-National-Trust.html https://grist.org/living/ask-umbra-can-i-pee-in-my-compost-pile/ Human Composting - https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/washington-first-state-allow-burial-method-human-composting-180972020/   [Fact Off]   Ocean viruses - https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/3/9/e1602565.full https://www.ocean.washington.edu/courses/oc400/Arrigo2005.pdf   Burying beetles - https://www.fws.gov/Midwest/endangered/insects/ambb/abb_fact.html https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/10/news-burying-beetle-nursery-bacteria-fungus-decomposition/   [Ask the Science Couch]   Food Safety https://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/wcm/connect/fsis-content/internet/main/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/safe-food-handling/food-safety-tips-for-college-students/ct_index https://food.unl.edu/will-reheating-food-make-it-safe-if-you-forget-refrigerate-it https://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/food-technology/bacterial-food-poisoning/ https://www.fda.gov/food/consumers/what-you-need-know-about-foodborne-illnesses   Decomposers https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/docs/tip-sheet-decomposer-id-cpts-id-f.pdf   Pizza (Quora answer) https://www.quora.com/Is-it-safe-to-eat-pizza-left-out-overnight   [Butt One More Thing]   A/V plug http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/deathly-doodle-leakage http://fluidpusher.blogspot.com/2009/10/questions-of-day-jenn-edition.html

Fitness influencer, Tammy Steffen, claims her daughter is nearly kidnapped in their backyard just days after a headless doll and threatening note is found on her front porch. Was it her former business partner, online rivals or somebody else? Join Nancy Grace with guests: judge and trial attorney Ashley Wilcott, James Shelnutt, veteran Atlanta Metro area major case detective (retired), Psychologist Caryn Stark, and investigative journalist Levi Page from Crime Online.

This week we'll keep the show notes short and sweet. Swervey and Trey will answer all the hot issues of today. Such as, Would you eat a pig you raised? Is urine a good zombie deterrent? Would you eat your dead friend on a mountain to survive? Also we listen to a young Lisa Simpson type give the UN the business.  Check us out at: NEW WEBSITE!!!! www.swerveyjones.com Facebook Twitter InstagramSJS Group  Twitch All Social Platforms: @Swerveyjones @TreySJS @KrystalSJS

Adam and Jamie reveal wrestling facts and stories we didn't know about last week...Public nudity at SummerSlam!Why did Jake the Snake offer to urinate on Mick Foley?What was Triple H's problem with CM Punk's ass?!ENJOY!Follow us on Twitter:@AdamWilbourn@TopClassKennedy@WhatCultureWWEFor more awesome content, check out: whatculture.com/wwe See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Palette Cleanser: After checking in with Funniest Girls On Twitter Jim we have to cleanse the palette with a kid on a bike getting hit by a car. Trailers: For what is cringe and what is not cringe, THAT IS THE QUESTION. Let’s check in with trailers for The Fanatic and The Sextuplets. Disneyland Fight: It happened during an off week, but we have to go way back and cover the Disneyland brawl, as one man beats up everyone. Also a lady pissing on potatoes in Walmart. YOU FUCKED ME!, YOU PLAYED MY BUTT LIKE JAZZ!, THE BOYS!, VAN MORRISON!, GLAD TIDINGS!, TOOL!, SPOTIFY!, PICKLE TOOL!, FUNNIEST WOMEN ON TWITTER JIM!, BACK TO THE WELL!, HOT GIRL SUMMER!, BEGONE THOT!, PALETTE CLEANSER!, CAR!, BICYCLE!, BIKER COMES OUT OF NOWHERE!, BUNNY HOP!, JUMP!, HOOD!, 80S JAMS!, BLINDLY!, CROSSWALK!, DASHCAM!, FRED DURST!, JOHN TRAVOLTA!, NICHOLAS CAGE!, MANDY!, THE FANATIC!, B-MOVIE!, DEVON SAWA!, GRIZZLED!, ETHAN EMBRY!, TOUGH!, BUFF!, JEREMY RENNER!, RETARDED!, AN ACTUAL RETARD!, OBSESSED!, AUTOGRAPH!, STALKING!, STAN!, YOUNG RENNER!, DUSTIN FROM STRANGER THINGS!, 90S KIDS!, MARLON WAYANS!, NAKED!, POUNDHOG GAY!, EDDIE MURPHY!, GROUNDHOG DAY!, BUSSY!, NETFLIX!, THE SEXTUPLETS!, MICHAEL IAN BLACK!, DON’T BE A MENACE!, SCARY MOVIE!, BOWFINGER!, SHREK!, DREAM GIRLS!, IN LIVING COLOR!, DAMON WAYANS!, JAMIE FOXX!, DAG!, DAVID ALAN GRIER!, JLO!, BAG!, BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN!, THE PJS!, DR DOOLITTLE 2!, SHOWTIME!, I SPY!, DISNEYLAND FIGHT!, BRAWL!, TOON TOWN!, FAMILY!, MOTHER!, FLOPPED!, TUMBLE!, WHEELCHAIR!, BEATING UP WOMEN!, ANAHEIM POLICE!, GOOFY!, DONALD DUCK!, SUITCASE AND A DREAM!, ARREST!, CHARGES!, THREATEN!, VIRAL!, HULA HOOP!, FIRE!, MOTORIZED WHEELCHAIR!, WALMART!, POTATOES!, URINATE!, PISSING!, SPIT TAKE!, ILD!, HORNGRY!, PROBLEMATIC!, SCREAMING!, PARROT!, BIRD!, BABY CRYING!, ANIMAL SOUNDS!, BABY!, CAGE!, NICO!, DARK LOT!, SCREAMING WOMAN!, CREEPY!, SCARY!, HOMELESS!, DRUGGIE!, LYNX!, LARGE CAT!, WHIMPERING!, CRYING!, DEAF MAN!, MOST CONFIDENT! CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD JIM AND THEM #595 Part 2 RIGHT HERE!

In this episode, I discuss Tim Ryan not putting his hand over his heart during the National Anthem and how he possesses the right to not do that. I also discuss Grace Brown peeing on Walmart's potatoes.

This isn't your run-of-the-mill funny jokes podcast - this is next level! Featuring a cast of characters, and highly produced storytelling, DSC's Joke of the Day is reminiscent of old-time radio, except a lot more funny and slightly inappropriate. Listen to all the podcasts here for free!

Hoo boy, it's a hot one. Fishstick's Top Pick Topics: [03:23] Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal. But, does the attitude of the deceased influence the taste of their meat? Find out more than you ever wanted to know! Also, no matter what anyone else says, the Brofessor is an absolute monster. The Brofessor's Life De-Stresser: [12:04] Our network boss is faced with a tough decision. Urinate in a strangers pants, or face certain doom. The gang of course chooses the safe way out, and then launches into a stream discussion that would be better left unmentioned. Lulu's Viewer Reviews: [23:42] Everyone's got one, and this week Mulch's gets the most attention. What's in a forehead? Apparently poetry. Let me give a limerick a go: There once was a doofus named Mulch, whose forehead resembled a gulch; when brought up in discussion, twas beat to concussion; and not much else rhymes with 'mulch'. Sue me. Mulch's News Garden: [29:49] A rogue roomba. An organic soundtrack. Gripping story. Biting social commentary. Coming to a podcast near you. Badvertisements: Penny's Pencil Shavings - F.C. Radio Blabble - Jordan Reed Deep Sleep Nap Emporium - F.C. Real Promotion: Spooky Spouses We need your submissions! Send us stuff at idunnoradio@gmail.com, and leave voicemails at (304)566-WIDK. Support us on Patreon! Just $2 a month gets you the Secret Segment!Any featured music used by permission directly from the artist(s). All other music from the Youtube Creator library, licensed free, non-attribution.Check out our networks: The Scavengers Network and Podcast NH!

I don’t know --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We Discuss: Dominic Smith of The Mets Can't Urinate on Command, Mike McCarthy Loves A Massage and Tiki Barber is in the Marijuana Business See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's challenge: watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.

Tooth talk today in the Safe Space. How many berets does it take to make you a communist? How poor do you have to be to afford a barrel? Later, Dana retells his Dave Thomas Wilfred Brimley story. We end with Galen talking Tesla.

Jack Osboure, host of Jack and Ozzy's World Detour discuss their unconventional travel show and answer the question, 'Did his dad, Ozzy Osbourne, once pee on the Alamo?' Plus David Yeskel, the Vegas Guru talks about the best deals and the hottest new shows in Las Vegas.

Tony sits down to discuss being recklessly single, his relationship with the Spotify Illuminati and the boys share some eye opening realities about military service from well behind the front lines. Join in the conversation by dialing (847)665-9238 Follow Tony and Podcaviar @nothaving and @podcaviar it on all social media outlets and subscribe to his … Continue reading #121 – Heroes Urinate In Bottles w/ Tony Baltimore

The former Health humor life name and comedian co-host Tyler P returns for this special valentine's day episode! During this episode we discuss how to remove the emotional blockage (or blocks) holding many of us back from experiencing true love. These emotional blockages could be from past relationship traumas, or even still within us from getting over a break up.   Matt will also discuss a humorous story about his worst valentine's day date ever. (It includes fish, burger king, and a glass eye)  He will also discuss a very shocking and emotional personal true story on a recent relationship break up as a follow up to our episode from a year ago titled "Love, Lawn care, and break ups." Matt discusses the traumatic experiences but ends on a positive note as he discusses much of what he learned in the relationship as well as how he was able to open up even more-so to love. Matt's best friend, comedian, and co-host, Tyler P, also weighs in on relationships with his "doorway analogy" as well as discusses what Matt REALLY smelled in his office during the last podcast. (Hint: It's way worse than simple urination!) Health humor life is back and will be branching out beyond just holistic health topics. (We will still have that too) In all honesty, It got boring and it's time to further expand the horizons! Therefore, in the next couple of weeks, we will be talking about aliens, more ghosts, reincarnation, and even more  unheard of holistic health topics! Subscribe today and stay tuned! Thank you for the thousands of you out there who have support us in growing this podcast to what it is today!

The podcast opens discussing the mystery of the office "Urinator" as my office smells like something died in it. Matt then discusses a man who collapsed at the gym and the powerful message it sent to him and his clients. Overcoming binge eating is the primary topic of today's podcast. Binge eating and binge eating disorder are unfortunately very common especially here in the united states. It is also known as compulsive eating disorder. Binge eating disorder treatment is indeed available but often consists of locking someone up for a few weeks while feeding them sugar and crappy food. Matt takes a different approach to binge eating disorder treatment and discusses 5 immediately implementable steps to preventing compulsive eating. He discusses sugar addiction, meditation, unique strategies and more. If you are someone who struggles with binge eating, sugar addiction or compulsive eating or if you need binge eating help, this is the podcast for you.   Subscribe to this podcast to be notified of future episodes by hitting the subscribe button or by visiting one of the following links:   - the main hub with blog and show notes  - blog and show notes with links  - Itunes  - stitcher  - google play  iheart radio If you enjoyed the podcast, I would love and appreciate a review. It helps us to grow and spread the word. Thank you very much.   Matt Michael Holistic Weight Loss & Health Professional Comedy Music Entertainer  - Coaching And Free Weight Loss + Nutrition Guides  

The fact is the audience of Sexplanations has consistently been amazing. When we started fundraising for the show, to create something sustainable, you were onboard right away to see that this never had to be a financial or professional burden for me. Jamie who is today's co-host and I witnessed from the beginning your outpour of support and generosity. We cheered for you as you cheered for us. We built care packages for you together and organized your messages and questions so we could show our gratitude. So I wanted to talk to Jamie about what it's been like to create the funding side of the show, how it's changed over the last four years, how I've changed. We also discuss Jamie's relationship to sexuality, the religious conflicts with sex before marriage, cognitive dissonance, and the value of prioritizing our sex lives so we have passion and knowledge to share with others. Sextra credit: Give money -- patreon.com/sexplanations ;oD Be kind yourself. Take a bath, squirt something like beet juice into the tub for every shame you can think of, and then drain the tub and let the shame wash away. Urinate shame too! **There's a clicking sound during the replay of the Sexplanations YouTueb episode, that's because there's a timer counting how many hours go into each portion of creating the show.

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8 AM - 1 - Jack saw a large ass woman pee in the street. 2 - Washington Post's Thomas Gibbons-Neff on Trump's Afghanistan speech. 3 - The News with Marshall Phillips. 4 - Joe is flying his daughter to Washington DC.

8 AM - 1 - Jack saw a large ass woman pee in the street. 2 - Washington Post's Thomas Gibbons-Neff on Trump's Afghanistan speech. 3 - The News with Marshall Phillips. 4 - Joe is flying his daughter to Washington DC.

8 AM - 1 - Jack saw a large ass woman pee in the street. 2 - Washington Post's Thomas Gibbons-Neff on Trump's Afghanistan speech. 3 - The News with Marshall Phillips. 4 - Joe is flying his daughter to Washington DC.

How do you start your day? Do you have a routine? When you think of the word ritual, do you picture a bunch of guys wearing hoodies starting a fire out in the woods? A ritual is really just a sequence of activities. Grant doesn’t do a ritual every day because he’s not perfect, but he is good and wins most of the time. He’s happier, has more confidence, and gets more energy when he does his ritual. 1. Wake up and beat the sun—Why way until the neighborhood is already up when you can be the first one? 2. Write your goals down—Journal your future, don’t report your past. You can only write about your mommy and daddy so many times. Your attention needs to be on the future. 3. Urinate 4. Workout—This will give you energy for the rest of the day. 5. Shower 6. Read 7. Eat 8. Listen to music while driving to work that pumps you up. You don’t have to have this same exact routine but do something that fits you. Don’t wait until you get to work to get your day started. You should know your targets for the day before you get to the office. In a crazy world you can bring normality, prediction, and control by having a ritual. You need to deliver every day and bring it—and having a daily ritual will help you fill your calendar and be more productive.

How do you start your day? Do you have a routine? When you think of the word ritual, do you picture a bunch of guys wearing hoodies starting a fire out in the woods? A ritual is really just a sequence of activities. Grant doesn't do a ritual every day because he's not perfect, but he is good and wins most of the time. He's happier, has more confidence, and gets more energy when he does his ritual. 1. Wake up and beat the sun—Why way until the neighborhood is already up when you can be the first one? 2. Write your goals down—Journal your future, don't report your past. You can only write about your mommy and daddy so many times. Your attention needs to be on the future. 3. Urinate 4. Workout—This will give you energy for the rest of the day. 5. Shower 6. Read 7. Eat 8. Listen to music while driving to work that pumps you up. You don't have to have this same exact routine but do something that fits you. Don't wait until you get to work to get your day started. You should know your targets for the day before you get to the office. In a crazy world you can bring normality, prediction, and control by having a ritual. You need to deliver every day and bring it—and having a daily ritual will help you fill your calendar and be more productive.

How do you start your day? Do you have a routine? When you think of the word ritual, do you picture a bunch of guys wearing hoodies starting a fire out in the woods? A ritual is really just a sequence of activities. Grant doesn't do a ritual every day because he's not perfect, but he is good and wins most of the time. He's happier, has more confidence, and gets more energy when he does his ritual. 1. Wake up and beat the sun—Why way until the neighborhood is already up when you can be the first one? 2. Write your goals down—Journal your future, don't report your past. You can only write about your mommy and daddy so many times. Your attention needs to be on the future. 3. Urinate 4. Workout—This will give you energy for the rest of the day. 5. Shower 6. Read 7. Eat 8. Listen to music while driving to work that pumps you up. You don't have to have this same exact routine but do something that fits you. Don't wait until you get to work to get your day started. You should know your targets for the day before you get to the office. In a crazy world you can bring normality, prediction, and control by having a ritual. You need to deliver every day and bring it—and having a daily ritual will help you fill your calendar and be more productive.

How do you start your day? Do you have a routine? When you think of the word ritual, do you picture a bunch of guys wearing hoodies starting a fire out in the woods? A ritual is really just a sequence of activities. Grant doesn’t do a ritual every day because he’s not perfect, but he is good and wins most of the time. He’s happier, has more confidence, and gets more energy when he does his ritual. 1. Wake up and beat the sun—Why way until the neighborhood is already up when you can be the first one? 2. Write your goals down—Journal your future, don’t report your past. You can only write about your mommy and daddy so many times. Your attention needs to be on the future. 3. Urinate 4. Workout—This will give you energy for the rest of the day. 5. Shower 6. Read 7. Eat 8. Listen to music while driving to work that pumps you up. You don’t have to have this same exact routine but do something that fits you. Don’t wait until you get to work to get your day started. You should know your targets for the day before you get to the office. In a crazy world you can bring normality, prediction, and control by having a ritual. You need to deliver every day and bring it—and having a daily ritual will help you fill your calendar and be more productive.

A bumper 5-story episode of Punwatch, with a down-to-the-wire result and an argument about the definition of biscuit we didn’t get back to. This episode is titled, “Fred Durst & Jay Z Pay 30p To Urinate On Daniel Radcliffe’s Antique Bentley.” I know, it’s clumsy. You try working 5 stories into one stupid headline. Punsters: Alex Malone, James Ferris, David Shaw, Lisa Dib Host: Andrew Cherry

Have you ever noticed that you urinate more frequently in cold weather? Why does this happen? Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

David and Tamler talk about a new study that links your belief in free will to the fullness of your bladder. How do our bodily states influence our metaphysical commitments? What's the best way to measure beliefs about free will? Can you get your prostate checked without having someone stick something in your private areas? Plus, an exclusive look at the shocking truth about social psychology experiments.  LinksThe Philosophical Implications of the Urge to Urinate by Dan Ladkin, Scientific American Ent, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2014). Embodied free will beliefs: Some effects of physical states on metaphysical opinions. Consciousness and Cognition, 27, 147-154.Free Will and Determinism Scale (Rakos, Laurene, Skala, & Slane, 2008, Behavior and Social Issues).  

My son's dog is a happy, well trained, well behaved, gentle and very loving dog. She seems to be socially well adjusted to people and all other animals. When my son gets home from work he has to just open the door and let her out so she can pee when she first sees him. Actually it is the same when anyone comes to the door, she pees if not taken out instantly, Also, when you greet her outside she pees.  Sometimes its just a little dribble, sometimes its a lot. It does not seem to matter if she has just gone....she will still pee. He was told this breed has submissive urination. I get the feeling she is just excited to see the person. Can this change? Join Suzy for this episode! 

In this week’s episode, 2four learns to identify his dog and talks about his recent trip. DNixon makes excuses about his recent appearance in a Deuces Cracked video. Hugging The Rail covers the Orleans poker room. Lock Poker pro Matt Stout discusses his poker background, his experience with tournament staking, and Lock Poker’s “cakeover” of [...]

8 AM - More Felonious; It turns out that skier dude didn't urinate on that girl; Vanity plate DMV bureaucratic process; Rejected vanity plates; Stockton city manager vs police union; Vallejo's "Hoe Patrol".

Could personal nuclear reactors power towns, why can't eyes be transplanted like livers, is it dangerous not to pee and poo when you need to, do drugs damage sperms and eggs, and how do rain and distilled water differ? Join Dr Chris as he pits his wits against these and other scientific mysteries... Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

Could personal nuclear reactors power towns, why can't eyes be transplanted like livers, is it dangerous not to pee and poo when you need to, do drugs damage sperms and eggs, and how do rain and distilled water differ? Join Dr Chris as he pits his wits against these and other scientific mysteries... Like this podcast? Please help us by supporting the Naked Scientists

We begin this episode by once again coming to the rescue of a desperate information seeker, who stumbled onto our site (Google tells us) in a futile search for knowledge that we did not have, until now. How do women pee with wearing old chastity belt in the middle ages? Or did they at all? Not the new chastity belt, mind (that's easy!) � the old ones! We know nothing about the true answer, of course, but we don't let that stop us from discussing it at length. And Google Images teaches us all kinds of true or untrue things � there are even male chastity belts! It's all quite disturbing, thanks to some dude. Fucker. But at least we answered his question! One final tip: keep T-Bone away from the floral arrangements and the yellow snow. Send us pictures of your friends wearing the chastity belt of your choice by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings. URL: http://www.limitedappeal.net