Podcasts about Sweezy

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Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2022 61:23

How do you go about discussing a living situation to include your female to move in. Is there a time frame, is there a discussion that has to be had or do you just know? Do you agree with Tazz and Sweezy methods? Southern states and states that normally don't have winter snow, show no prep for the winter snow storms. Food shortages and price increases on groceries. A fluctuating increase is evident as families go shopping to a higher cost of groceries. Francis Ngannou retains his UFC Heavyweight strap against Ciryl Game in his first ever decision going 5 rounds. Getting the unanimous score from the judges Thanks for tuning in. All episodes are powered by The Venture Season Network WWW.VENTURESEASONNETWORK.COM Go follow on Instagram @ventureseasonnetwork @ventureseasonpodcast @Sweezy_peezy | @Anthonytazz Twitter: Foreva252 | Anthony Tazz --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ventureseasonnetwork/support

Venture Season Podcast | Happy Anniversary to The Venture Season Network

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Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2022 74:24

Happy Anniversary to The Venture Season Network We are celebrating The Venture Season Network Anniversary. For this celebration we are joined by Keveze, The Host of Steelersfor7 Podcast. Also joined by The Trippy Og, Dope The Phenom, Host of the KnickN30 podcast and more…. Tune in for an action packed episode filled with laughter, side bars and words of advice….. If you need it. Thanks for tuning in. All episodes are powered by THE VENTURE SEASON NETWORK. WWW.VENTURESEASONNETWORK.COM Go follow on Instagram @ventureseasonnetwork @ventureseasonpodcast @Sweezy_peezy | @Anthonytazz Twitter: Foreva252 | Anthony Tazz --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ventureseasonnetwork/support

Venture Season Podcast|Dumbest things you do when you are in love| RIP Sidney Poitier

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Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2022 54:58

Title: Dumbest things you do when you are in love/ RIP Sidney Poitier

SPORTING WOODS SWEEZY AWARDS 2021

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2021 100:42

SPORTING WOODS SWEEZY AWARDS 2021 Qualifying Episodes: 127-159 Episode 149 COUNTS! GAME OF THE YEAR PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- 2019 CRICKET WORLD CUP FINAL 2020- SAKHIR GRAND PRIX ONE POINT WONDER PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- DAMIAN LILLARD 2020- VALTTERI BOTAS LIMPEST DICK PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- ALEX B 2020- BRISBANE BRONCOS THREE POINT WONDER PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- GARDNER MINSHEW 2020- PETER V'LANDYS DAVID KOCH PETTY MOMENT OF THE YEAR NEW CATEGORY BENNY G LOW KEY ALPHA MOMENT OF THE YEAR NEW CATEGORY NOVAK DJOKOCIV FLOG OF THE YEAR NEW CATEGORY SPORTING MOMENT OF THE YEAR PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- TIGER WOODS WINS 2019 MASTERS 2020- AUSTRALIA WOMEN'S CRICKET WORLD CUP FINAL WIN WELFARE CHECK PREVIOUS WINNER 2020- KYRIE IRVING PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- ASH BARTY 2020- JOE BURROW A MOMENT IN BDE HISTORY OF THE YEAR NEW CATEGORY ON THE TAKE PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- SUN YANG 2020- HOUSTON ASTROS 2021 SWEEZYS PREVIOUS WINNERS 2019- STEVE SMITH 2020- NATHAN CLEARY

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Venture Season Podcast:Out With The Old Year/ Daunte Wright Murder Verdict Christmas has come and gone with the New Year's on the horizon

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Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2021 50:29

Title: Out With The Old Year/ Daunte Wright Murder Verdict Christmas has come and gone with the New Year's on the horizon. Tazz and Sweezy recap Christmas, revealing what they got and what they did on that day. While also pondering on past Christmas experiences and ways to make Christmas better for the future. Kim Potter is found guilty for first degree and second degree manslaughter in wrongful shooting death of Daunte Wright earlier this year. With sentencing being scheduled for earlier in the year in February of 2022. New Year's is amongst us. We discuss how we're going to celebrate and ways to bring in the new year. See you next year in 2022. Thank you for tuning in this year. Thanks for tuning in. All episodes are powered by THE VENTURE SEASON NETWORK. Go follow on Instagram @ventureseasonnetwork @ventureseasonpodcast IG: Sweezy_peezy | Anthonytazz Twitter: Foreva252 | Anthony Tazz --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ventureseasonnetwork/support

Venture Season Podcast S5E10: Bizzy Bone vs Three Six Mafia, Omicron Variant, Oxford School Shooting, Ahmaud Arbery

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Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2021 55:22

Title: Bizzy Bone vs Three Six Mafia, Omicron Variant, Oxford School Shooting, Ahmaud Arbery Triller had another verzuz between Bone Thugs N Harmony, and Three Six Mafia. The verse is kicked off pretty good, but it got a little spicy with a little scuffle between Buzzy Bone and Three Six. All in while touching on how the verzuz turned out. Another tragic mass shooting happened at a high school in Oxford, Michigan. Taz and Sweezy touch bases on this topic as well. More details emerge on the Ahmaud Arbery case pertaining to the convicted suspects and a former district attorney that slowed the process of the arrest of the convicted assailants Thanks for tuning in. All episodes are powered by THE VENTURE SEASON NETWORK. Go follow on Instagram @ventureseasonnetwork @ventureseasonpodcast IG: Sweezy_peezy | Anthonytazz Twitter: Foreva252 | Anthony Tazz --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ventureseasonnetwork/support

Venture Season Podcast | Fire Pit Chronicles/ Military Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2021 66:09

Title: Fire Pit Chronicles/ Military Stories This was a live, and I mean actually live from the fire pit side. Later being joined by Dope the Phenom, host of KnickN30 podcast. Sweezy and Tazz reminisce about experiences from their time in the military. Sweezy joined the Marines, and Tazz the Navy. All the while covering why they join the service, boot camp experiences, and those are just the name a few and didn't even chip the block on the topic. Thanks for tuning in. All episodes are powered by THE VENTURE SEASON NETWORK. Go follow on Instagram @ventureseasonnetwork @ventureseasonpodcast @Knickn30 IG: Sweezy_peezy | Anthonytazz Twitter: Foreva252 | Anthony Tazz --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ventureseasonnetwork/support

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VENTURE SEASON PODCAST S5E4: The Halloween EPISODE

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Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 54:15

Title: The Halloween Episode On the Episode, Tazz and Sweezy talk about Halloween as a kid vs as an adult. We get into trick or treating. Also, we discuss our favorite costumes. Finally, we talk about the best horror films and villians (Jason, Freddie Kruger, etc.). Be sure to subscribe to the Venture Season Podcast & Venture Season Network on YouTube and IG! IG: sweezy_peezy | anthonytazz Twitter: foreva252 | AnthonyTazz --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ventureseasonnetwork/support

Venture Season Podcast: Do You Date Older or Younger/Welcome Back Sweezy!!

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Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2021 65:48

Do You Date Older or Younger/Welcome Back Sweezy!!

Carson Sweezy: Food as a Vehicle for Nourishing our Mind, Body, and Soul

Chat with Leaders Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2021 18:09

Carson nourishes authentic communities by connecting people through food and entertainment. Crohn's disease forced him to think deeply about life, meaning, and purpose at a young age. After losing 18-inches of his colon, Carson “accidentally” completed a degree from William & Mary and left his career in real estate behind. Choosing instead to pursue his lifelong passion. Carson's goal is to nourish lives and help people indulge in our common ancestral language. Food. In order to pursue this goal, he founded SweezEats amidst the pandemic in Sept 2020 as a means to build community through their cookie gift boxes. Since then, they've partnered with small businesses to ship signature batch cookie gifts to their clients, donors, and employees. They've shipped a total of over 13,000 cookies to friends and customers… and counting. What you'll learn How Carson describes food as a language that can empower us to be better humans. Influences in Carson's life that inspired his love for food and his journey into entrepreneurship. Why Carson felt it was important to build and strengthen communities through his cookie gift boxes amidst the pandemic. How he was able to get the world out through social marketing leading to lots of orders coming in. What he learned about the power of simplicity through this experience of launching and maintaining SweezEats that every entrepreneur and business leader should keep in mind. Follow / Learn More Follow Carson on LinkedIn Follow Carson (and his delicious food) on Instagram Join our LinkedIn community and be part of the ongoing conversations by following Chat With Leaders on LinkedIn We Love Our Community Partners B Local G Georgia: a collection of for-profit companies each dedicated to creating a future where businesses operate as a positive influence on society Inspiredu: Nonprofit Leaders Bridging The Digital Divide AppBarry: Custom Web And Mobile Application Development Classic City Consulting: WordPress Website Development Stratfield Consulting: Consulting, Staffing, Recruiting See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Saints Sign Several Veteran Free Agents; Including LB Kwon Alexander

Canal Street Chronicles: for New Orleans Saints fans

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2021 11:10

New Orleans Saints analyst for Canal Street Chronicles Brenden Ertle breaks down the recent transactions for the Saints. Including re-signing LB Kwon Alexander, signing CB Prince Amukamara, CB Brian Poole, WR Chris Hogan, RB Devonta Freeman, and OG J.R. Sweezy, among others. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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KaWe28: Elias - Came From Nothing Vol.2

Rap gehört zum guten Ton

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 57:25

Heute war noch einmal Elias' Debüt Album "Came From Nothing" das Thema. Wieder einmal konnte Rewow sich nicht auf eine halbe Stunde beschränken und als diese schon übersvchritten war, setzte er noch zum Ausblick bis zur Sommerpause und über diese hinaus an. Hört rein und startet gut in die Woche!

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4.17. Elias - Came From Nothing Vol.1

Rap gehört zum guten Ton

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2021 62:51

Elias hat sich seinen Weg nach oben erkämpft. Schon seit über 8 Jahren macht er professionell Musik und gab nicht auf, seinen Traum zu verfolgen und Erfolg mit Rap zu generieren. Der Düsseldorfer bedient sich hierbei einem selbstgenannt "tighten Flow" und spiegelt Elemente der 90er und 2000er der Amerikanischen HipHop- und Pop-Kultur wieder, die Nostalgiker und Liebhaber der damaligen Musik ohne Unterlass in Flashbacks versetzen und zu anerkennendem Schmunzeln bringen. Hier präsentiert die "Newcomer" endlich sein Debütalbum "Came From Nothing", nachdem er schon zwei EPs und ein Mixtape veröffentlichte. Hört rein und habt ein gutes Wochenende!

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Internal Chaos and Blending vs. Internal Peace and Integration

Interior Integration for Catholics

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2021 54:27

Intro: It is good to be together, thank you for joining me today in this podcast episode I want to take you back 40 years with me, more than 40 years, to 1981, and share with you an experience I had as a lad, share with you a story and images of that story that will help us understand the topic of today's podcast. So, without any further delays, its Story Time with Dr. Peter Its early July 1981, I'm 12 years old, really skinny, about 5 foot 5, 110 lbs, very nearsighted without my glasses swimming to the green raft with my swim buddy at Camp Onaway on the Waupaca Chain of Lakes, in central Wisconsin Taking on the challenge. I'm the lowest form of life at Boys Brigade Camp 3, A first-year boy. I'm a FLIC-- A FLIC is an acronym that stand for "Fat Little Ignorant Camper" the term of affection, a sweet, ironic endearment bestowed on us by our fearless camp leaders. And I'm swimming out to the raft to test my mettle with the bigger boys. The high schoolers. The raft -- floating platform, 12 X 12, buoyed up by sealed 55 gallon drum, anchored in 12 feet of clear water and covered with green indoor-outdoor carpeting. That is the place where the game "King of the Raft" was played by the camp 3 FLICs of all ages and body shapes. The objective of King of the Raft was simple. To be the only boy left standing on the raft, with all challengers in the water. To do that, you want to push, pull, toss, hurl, lure or otherwise maneuver all the other boys off the raft. A sparse game would have six boys, a real showdown might have 24, ranging in age from the youngest at 12 to highly muscled 17 year old incoming high school seniors with mustaches. Very few rules and all of them were unwritten. The primary one was no dragging another boy along on the raft, because that indoor/outdoor carpeting can tear the skin right off your back or chest very quickly, especially if the victim is struggling with all his might, as he should be, and as was the norm, And no choking and no hitting or kicking anyone in the groin. That was about it. Otherwise it was a free for all, with shoving and pushing and lunging and clinging and teams of boys working together and alliances broken by Machiavellian tricks all for the great prize of being able to stand, alone, on the raft, with all your companions in the water and to beat your chest and yell with all your might at the top of your lungs, "I am the King of the Raft!" Now occasionally, a gargantuan 16 or 17 year old would dominate the raft and be obnoxious as king, and then two of the 20 or 30 something year old camp leaders would swim out to administer a form of camp justice and dethrone the obnoxious king by heaving him in a remarkable high trajectory to a watery landing many feet from the 144 square feet of green carpeted real estate. Then the game changed. Then it was get the leaders time and the game moved into another phase when all the fat little ignorant campers had a chance to take on the two leaders, and a battle royale ensued with the campers on one side and the leaders on the other. I did this for seven summers. From 1981 to 1987, five years as a camper and two years as a leader. And I learned a lot of life lessons on the raft, both as a skinny, vanquished, frequently airborne FLIC and as king. So I hope I was able to create a word picture for you, some images of what it was like on the raft at Camp Onaway on the Waupaca chain of lakes in the 1980s. We going to come back to the images of king of the raft later in the episode. Intro -- Welcome to Interior Integration for Catholics I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and the reason this Interior Integration for Catholics podcasts exists is to help you toward loving God, neighbor and yourself in an ordered, healthy, holy way. -- It's about tolerating being loved, and about loving. This podcast and especially the Resilient Catholics Community is a training ground for overcoming your natural level impediments, your psychological obstacles to accepting love from God and others and loving God, neighbor and ourselves in the best ways possible. It all about your human formation, all about shoring up your natural foundation for the spiritual life, all about training and equipping you to follow the two great commandments -- to love God with all your being, with every part of you, and to love your neighbor. This is Episode 74, Released on June 28, 2021 and titled Internal Chaos and Blending vs. Internal Peace and Integration Internal Chaos vs. Internal Peace Psychotherapist Peter Michealson describes how quote the unconscious mind of adults is buffeted by gale-force winds of emotional chaos that originated as an infantile effect decades earlier. Emotional associations from our distant past now buffet our life in incredible, mysterious, spectacular, and frequently painful and self-defeating ways. Emotions percolate and circulate in our unconscious mind with some degree of chaos. We all know what it's like to be happy one moment, sad the next, with no conscious input from us. We also know how hard it can be to regulate our desires, impulses, and emotional reactions. Both neuroscience and psychology have established that our brain struggles mightily and often unsuccessfully to limit the effects of irrationality. Often we try to apply common sense and reason to moderate unpleasant emotions or to curb self-defeating impulses. Yet our emotional side, with a life of its own, can often be impervious to rational entreaties. End quote Reimagine the raft battle But instead of generally good-hearted boys working on their developmental tasks of becoming men through struggling and wrestling with each other You have players that believe that they are locked in a life and death struggle, a deadly battle for supremacy. Think of the raft battle now as a gladiatorial contest to the death -- or following the plots of the Death Race movie series -- Jason Statham, Frederick Koehler, Ian McShane. Five movies. That my dear listeners, is how it is inside of us for most of us, whether we realize it or not. The players are our parts, remember -- those Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view. May seem to use like modes of operating Our systems may seem quiet in the moment -- maybe one of our manager parts has a really strong hold on the raft and is able to keep the others in the water, some of the submerged, drowning, in an attempt to hold on to some pseudo stability, and function in day to day life. But the other parts are waiting and watching for an opportunity to leap on the raft, into conscious awareness and forcibly de-throne the blended part who was king of the raft. But underneath, the other parts are waiting, watching. Looking for an opportunity to become the king of the raft, to drive the bus, to govern the system. Because of original sin, the sins of others, and our own personal sins, that's what it's like inside for almost everyone. Blending What is the key word here? Blending. Most important psychological state is to be unblended. Let me say that again. This is absolutely crucial. The most important psychological state of being for us is to be unblended -- what do I mean by that? Definition of a Blend: Richard Schwartz and Martha Sweezy Internal Family Systems Therapy, 2nd Ed. -- The act in which a part takes over a person's seat of consciousness, or self. "Blending in IFS" March 7, 2010 Blog post: Modes of Blending in IFS In IFS a part is “blended” with someone when they ARE the part as opposed to being in Self. This could mean that they feel the part's emotions, they hold its beliefs, or their behavior in the world comes from this part. Jay Earley October 17, 2018 Blog post: A part is blended with you and has taken over your seat of consciousness when any of the following is true: Flooded with the parts emotions Caught up in the beliefs of the part Dominated by the perspective and worldview of the part. More in depth: You are flooded with the part's emotions to such a degree that you aren't grounded. You are lost in those feelings. For example, if the part feels resentment, you are fully caught up in its anger without having any reflective distance Example -- Guy dating a woman 3 months -- she offers a gentle rebuke, a little correction -- uncomfortable with certain ways he looks at her -- seems too sexually tinged, like she's a sexual object. Activates her, she has had bad experiences in the past. You are feeling the part's emotions so strongly that there is no room for other emotions. For example Overwhelmed with shame Overwhelmed with anger -- rebuttals, desire to break off the relationship, You are caught up in the beliefs of the part so that you lose perspective on the situation. You see the world through the distorted perception of the part. In addition, you aren't able to recognize that this is one of many perspectives—you simply see it as the truth. If the part believes that the world is dangerous, that is the way you see the world, without any thought that you might be projecting your own beliefs onto the world. A person is identified with the part, in that they hold its beliefs and see the world from its perspective. inadequacy -- I'm a bad, lustful man -- see the overgeneralization, lack of perspective, the global attribution. Shrunk himself down to one dimension -- lustful man. This relationship needs to end -- I'll not be so condemned and rejected. You're hurting me., you're mean to me. You don't get me. You don't feel enough of your Self. You don't have enough access to a place in you that is separate from the part from which to witness it and understand it. You have no center or ground. Caught up in being just one part Jay Earley: For example, because a woman is blended with a judgmental part, she makes contemptuous comments to people. Blended part is now driving the bus with the self and all the other parts aboard Part that takes over your internal raft Example of Pixar moving "Inside Out" when Anger takes over the control panel Taken over by the passions -- e.g. irascible passions, such as fear or anger. everything seen through the very limited perspective of the blended part. If you're a hammer everything looks like a nail THE BLIND MEN AND THE ELEPHANT. The earliest versions of the parable of blind men and elephant is found in Buddhist, Hindu and Jain texts, going back about 2500 years -- they discuss the limits of perception and the importance of a more complete context The rollicking American Poet John Godfrey Saxe 1872 -- The Blind Men and the Elephant Natalie Merchant of 10,000 Maniacs Fame Leave Your Supper – 2010. IT was six men of IndostanTo learning much inclined,Who went to see the Elephant(Though all of them were blind),That each by observationMight satisfy his mind. The First approached the Elephant,And happening to fallAgainst his broad and sturdy side,At once began to bawl:"God bless me!—but the ElephantIs very like a wall!" The Second, feeling of the tusk,Cried: "Ho!—what have we hereSo very round and smooth and sharp?To me 't is mighty clearThis wonder of an ElephantIs very like a spear!" The Third approached the animal,And happening to takeThe squirming trunk within his hands,Thus boldly up and spake:"I see," quoth he, "the ElephantIs very like a snake!" The Fourth reached out his eager hand,And felt about the knee."What most this wondrous beast is likeIs mighty plain," quoth he;"'Tis clear enough the ElephantIs very like a tree!" The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,Said: "E'en the blindest manCan tell what this resembles most;Deny the fact who can,This marvel of an ElephantIs very like a fan!" The Sixth no sooner had begunAbout the beast to grope,Than, seizing on the swinging tailThat fell within his scope,"I see," quoth he, "the ElephantIs very like a rope!" And so these men of IndostanDisputed loud and long,Each in his own opinionExceeding stiff and strong,Though each was partly in the right,And all were in the wrong! So, oft in theologic warsThe disputants, I ween,Rail on in utter ignoranceOf what each other mean,And prate about an ElephantNot one of them has seen! Each blind man is experiencing something real about the elephant. But vision is so limited Generalizations to the whole elephant are not warranted. Devaluing each other, critical of each other Locked in conflict with each other, each trying to be pre-eminent. Three roles Exiles -- most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries They hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity. They desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved They want rescue, redemption, healing And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system -- they want to take over the raft to be seen and heard, to be known, to be understood. But they can flood us with the intensity of their experience And that threatens to harm external relationships Burdens they carry: Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned, Managers These are the proactive protector parts. They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt. They work really hard to keep you safe. controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging, Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding. Firefighters When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, like in Inside Out, remember the parts and the control panel? So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action. It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house. No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that. Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences. Intense neediness and grief are overwhelming us! Emergency actions -- battle stations! Evasive maneuvers, Arm the torpedoes, Full speed ahead! No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis, All kinds of addictions -- alcohol use, binge eating, shopping, sleeping, dieting, excessive working or exercise, suicidal actions, self-harm, violence, dissociation, distractions, obsessions, compulsions, escapes into fantasy, and raging. Parts can take over the person Signs of blending Opposite of 8 C's Calm -agitation, frustration, anxious, stressed, angry Curiosity -- indifferent, disinterested, seeing other parts and seeing other people in two dimensions, one dimension, or no dimensions -- Episode 72 -- nuanced vs. reductionistic understandings of ourselves and others. Compassion -- cold, uncaring, unfriendly, hard, reserved, unsympathetic Confidence -- timid, pessimistic, doubtful and insecure Courage -- fearful, shy, faint-hearted, irresolute Clarity -- confused, muddled inside, things are obscured, dark inside, foggy, seems vague forms moving in a shadow world. Connectedness -- internal fragmentation, disjointed, distant, aloof Creativity -- uninspired, inept, very conventional, repetitive futility, doing the same thing over and over again, with no different results Kindness -- coolness, nastiness, roughness, internal violence to another part or external violence toward someone else even brutality. Somatic signs Exiles use hte body to signal their need for help Exiles hide out in the heart or the gut and back Exiles often know of no other way to get the attention of the person Managers use the body to exert control Because managers contain, suppress, hold and freeze They tend to show up in the muscles and the fascia Joints Pelvic and respiratory diaphragms Throat and jaw Shoulders Lower back Firefighters use the body to distract from emotional pain or from overinhibition (constriction) from managers Firefighters activate the central nervous system and the endocrine system. Release stress hormones and are involved in hyperarousal and hypoarousal. Agenda Seeking a good end Need to control, manage outcomes Lack of respect for others' God-given freedom, their sovereignty over their choices. Ends justify the means. Means are problematic Blended part may not know this -- unaware of its impact on other parts or other people Blended part may know that it's means are problematic, but still feels it's worth it To avoid a worse situation Can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. Frequency of blending You might be saying to yourself -- but I am like that most of the time -- Am I blended with a part or parts most of the time Most people blended most of the time Many people blended continually for decades That's the norm. Blending on a continuum -- more or less blended Multiple parts can unblend Sometimes one at a time Sometimes other parts leap in Unblending Defining unblending Unblended person is "in self" Being Self-Led: Schwartz & Sweezy: Describes individuals who have access to their self, and therefore have the capacity to hear, understand, and be present with her parts, acknowledging and appreciating the importance of their roles in the internal family system and with other people. Self is governing, leading the system, trusted by the parts. Amazing thing that parts can hold on to the intensity of their experience, they can suffer with their wounds without overwhelming. Sometimes other parts don't know this -- highly polarized systems. Natural recollection What being unblended feels like 8 C's Calm Curiosity Compassion Confidence Courage Clarity Connectedness Creativity Kindness Importance -- this is the start. Then we can work on loving the parts, work toward the parts healing. Imagine the raft. Leader on deck, governing and directing, trusted by the parts. Listening to them. Loving xthem, not calling them fat little ignorant campers and hurling them into the void, but really listening Parts sharing in the love and the acceptance that the self has for all the parts All parts really being welcome, accepted, no part left behind. Meeting the attachment needs of the parts -- Episode 62, unmet attachment needs and unmet integrity needs. Conditions for Secure Attachment -- Daniel Brown and David Elliott -- 2016 Book Attachment Disturbances in Adults -- emphasizes the subjective experience A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement Felt comfort, reassurance Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure Felt support for the best self Meeting the integrity needs parts All of the above. Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity I exist my existence is separate from others -- I exist in my own right, a separate personIs bounded, has boundaries My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control. Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions. I can make sense of my experience and the world around me Mission and Purpose in life We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in life Unblending doesn't resolve all the burdens -- but it's a necessary prerequisite. It doesn't heal the effects of trauma all by itself, but it creates a frame when that work can be done. Advantages Peace and calm inside Ability to relate inside -- parts understanding other parts. Like the blind men and the elephant, sharing in the vision, the perspective of the self. Ability to relate much better with others -- understanding them, seeing them in five dimensions like we discussed in episode 72 Opens to the door to loving self, neighbor and God is a much more focused and deliberate way. Experiential exercise All right you've been listening to me tell stories and lecture and yabber away here in the podcast and that's all well and good, but now We're going to take it up a notch, up to an experiential learning. Experiential exercise around unblending. We're going to learn by doing and learn by being. All the conceptual learning in the world will do you little good if you don't experience these things. That would be like a psychologist who studied love in the books and research articles and thought about love, and theorized about it, and wrote abstract articles about it but never had a loving relationship with anyone. What does that psychology really know about love? So I want you to have much more than just the concept of unblending. I want you to experience something of being unblended. Major part of IFS work. Closing: Does this podcast really make sense to you, do you really grip on to what we're working on here? Do these experiential exercises really resonate with you? Do you want more? Do you want to be with likeminded Catholic who are serious about not only our Catholic Faith but also human formation -- who want to learn more about loving God, loving neighbor and loving self is a psychologically-minded way, drawing from the best of our understandings of the human person from both the spiritual and the natural worlds? Resilient Catholic Community at Souls and Hearts, grew up around my podcast Integration for Catholics -- a place to do that -- registration is open each year in June and December soulsandhearts.com/rcc. You have until June 30 at midnight to register -- $99 to register, and $99 per month to really engage in a deep dive in an IFS-informed approach to human formation -- lots more experiential exercises, office hours, a companion for daily connection, weekly small group work in your company, your own personalized human formation plan, tailored to your individual needs and based on your responses to our initial measures kit. IIC 74A Experiential Exercise on Protector Parts' Resistance to Unblending Check it all out at soulsandhearts.com/rcc. If you are committed to this podcast, I want you to learn about the Resilient Catholics community. Come with me, come with us -- be a pioneer together with us on this pilgrimage. Come with us, join us on this adventure on this hard road to life. soulsandhearts.com/rcc-- read about it. 37 have already applied to join the dozen of us already in the community. More listeners are considering it. Registration is closing on June 30, and won't reopen until December 1 for the next cohort. Questions: Conversation hours -- 317.567.9594 -- email crisis@soulsandhearts.com. Our community is small and personal. I am looking forward to meeting you. People are surprised when I answer the phone in conversation hours. Go to soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- check out the community. If you are a Catholic Therapist, check out the Interior Therapist community where 55 Catholic Therapist are learning all about IFS grounded in a Catholic anthropology -- check that out at www.soulsandhearts.com/itc. So many benefits Premium episode IIC 74T The importance of unblending within the Catholic Therapist Tune in next week -- Episode 75 when we get into how unblending is so important for the spiritual life, for a life of prayer and connection to God and to our Mother Mary. All the spiritual dimensions around unblending. Blurb for Transistor: Through stories, poetry, many examples, and an experiential exercise, Dr. Peter invites you inside yourself to much more deeply understand what it means to be blended vs. integrated, and the implications of blending vs. integration in loving yourself and others all in the service of having a much deeper sense of peace and well-being.

Dr Schwartz - You're Greater Than The Sum Of Your Parts | #Perspectives Podcast

Perspectives by Sharon Pearson

Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2021 88:15

[00:00:00] Hey, everyone. Welcome to today’s episode of Perspectives I am so thrilled. I think I said every time, but I'm particularly thrilled about today's guest. We are going to be meeting Dr. Richard Schwartz who is the, he’s on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard medical school. He was associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Illinois at Chicago is Institute for Juvenile Research.[00:00:29] And later at the Family Institute at Northwestern university, Richard began his career as a systemic family therapist and academic. So his background is definitely in family therapy. He's very familiar with attachment theory. Now he has developed this methodology, this beautiful body of work it's grounded in systems theory, and he's developed a therapeutic technique called internal family systems therapy or IFS also known [00:01:00] as parts therapy.[00:01:01] And he developed this and he shares at the beginning of our conversation, how it came about. He was working with clients who claim to recognize they had several components or sub personalities or parts within themselves, which is separate from having multiple personalities. It isn't that. So he began to focus on these relationships amongst the parts within his clients.[00:01:23] And he began to notice that there was systemic patterns in the way they were organized in every client. He observed that his client's parts were often rebellious or troublesome or overly controlling. And when they weren't attended to they could get a little out of control. So you've, you've ever had part of you that perhaps flares up a little bit too much, or part of you that's over controlling what needs you've got the perfectionist streak in you, or you're a little bit too anxious for the occasion or you find yourself particularly reactive.[00:01:56] Well, this is really for you because what Schwartz [00:02:00] observed is that if we paid attention to our internal narrative and we really tapped into the truth of us, there was an essence of us, a truth or a truest self-amongst all the anxiety of the controlling or the playing out or the anger or whatever it was.[00:02:18] And there was a beautiful self within, and that if we can have our paths feel safe and when they're allowed to relax and when the clients are allowed to experience their truest self and begin to realize they can trust themselves. And love themselves and feel compassion for themselves, that whole beautiful journey to self-compassion.[00:02:38] Then what can happen spontaneously is the qualities of confidence and openness, compassion, love, clarity, calm, courage, begin to show up and it's in all of us. No, one's the exceptions. So from this beginning of working with clients in these beautiful discoveries, internal family systems or IFS came about in [00:03:00] the eighties, I love it because it's non pathologizing.[00:03:03] It's really aligned with coaching. It is based on truth. It's based on honesty, encouragement and acceptance of all of us and true compassionate at the deepest level is no judgment. There's no rejection, there's no pathologizing any of it. And that through this journey of acceptance and compassion and embracing us with a technique and in the podcast, Dick works with me as a client and you will see the technique play out how we can be in touch with our truest selves, that centred itself that's in all of us and reach out to a part of us.[00:03:36] That's perhaps felt not as loved. We can reach out to it with love. And you'll see in that it's real, it's not a role-play as I do that. And they're beautiful consequence of that when that part realizes that it is loved and accepted and hasn't been rejected it's now evidence-based IFS is evidence-based has become widely used as a form of psychotherapy.[00:03:58] You’ll hear in the podcast how [00:04:00] it's going to be rolled to coaches, which are things really exciting. He's published a ton of books. One of the books that I've devoured, and you'll hear on the podcast, I've read this a number of times is Internal Family Systems therapy by Schwartz Swayze. The Mosaic Mind I must say is a little bit more for the therapist.[00:04:16] So it wasn't really applicable to me as much Internal Family Systems therapy by Schwartz. He's also got a beautiful audible that I do parts of it most days called Greater than the Sum of our Parts and he's done other works as well. And I he's also got courses available online at the moment. The beautiful thing about this is his energy.[00:04:37] You're going to. I'm sure feel as I did with him, he's got a really great energy. A beautiful energy is a very open soul, very accessible to chat with about it. And we have quite a long conversation about IFS we unpack what it is, what the parts are and their different functions within us, what our centered selfies and how important it is to recognize is in all of us, [00:05:00] we self is about how we can bring it into our daily practice.[00:05:03] And then what we do is we look at how we can bring it alive in our coaching practices as well. If you're a coach, I believe it's fabulous for leaders, for parents, for anyone who wants to relate at a different level. And I believe its truest gift is it's compassionate pathway to ourself. And so here he is the man himself, Dr.[00:05:23] Richard Swartz. It's so great to have you with us today, Dick, I know there is going to be many people around the world interested to hear this conversation. I know there's also a lot of coaches who are going to be a thousands of coaches will be listening to this, curious about how we can incorporate what you've developed into coaching.[00:05:40] Could you start with sharing a little bit about yourself and how you came to be at this point for Sharon? Thank you for inviting me. I'm, I'm honored by how supportive you are of IFS and yeah, it's it's quite a story goes back about 40 years. I I [00:06:00] just graduated from a PhD program in marital and family therapy and I was one of those obnoxious.[00:06:08] Family therapist that thought we found the Holy grail and wanted to prove that. And so in my effort to prove it, I did an outcome study with a eating disorder called bulimia. That was sort of new on the scene back then and found that we could reorganize the families just the way the book said to do it.[00:06:30] And still many of my clients didn't realize they've been cured and they just kept going. So I got frustrated and started asking what's going on? Why are you still bingeing and purging? And they started to teach this to me and they would talk to this language of parts. And they would say some version of when something bad happens in my life.[00:06:54] It triggers this critic. Who's now calling me all kinds of brutal names [00:07:00] and the critic brings up this part that feels totally young and empty and alone and worthless. And that feeling is so dreadful that almost to the, the rescue comes the binge to take me away. But the act of the binge brings the critic back.[00:07:16] Who's now calling me a pig on top of the other names. And that, of course it brings back that young, empty, worthless feeling. And so the bit the binge has to come back and to me as a family therapist, this sounded familiar. It sounded like an inner system that interacted actively inside of my clients, but it also sounded scary at first.[00:07:39] Cause I thought, boy, maybe these, these young women are sicker than I thought, you know, maybe they're more like multiple personality disorder until I started listening inside myself and then I've got them too. And some of mine are as extreme as there is particularly the critic. And I have [00:08:00] my own binges I did[00:08:02] so. with that I started to just explore. And I was lucky in that I hadn't studied intra-psychic process in other theories so that I had to just be curious and just keep letting my clients teach me. And one of the things that was a hard thing for me to learn at first was that these parts, aren't what they seemed[00:08:28] and that actually there aren't any bad ones, so that it took a while, because at first I was thinking they were, the critic was an internalized parental voice and the bench was an out of control impulse. And when you think of it, that way, it's limited how you can have your client relate to that either you try to get them to stand up to the bench or control on, stand up to the critic or control the binge.[00:08:56] And as I was doing that, I encourage clients to do that. [00:09:00] They would get worse. But I didn't know what else to do. So I'd say stand up stronger control more until the first client that I was aware of that had a sex abuse history and cut herself on her wrist and insisted on showing me the open wounds, every session.[00:09:18] And I decided we weren't going to let her out of my office until that cutting part had agreed not to do it to her that week. And so after a couple of hours of badgering, the part it finally said it wouldn't and I opened the door to the next session. And now she's got a big gash on the side of her face.[00:09:37] And I gasped at that and just spontaneously spit out. I give up, I can't beat you with this. And the part said, you know, I don't really want to beat you. And that was the turning point in the history of this work, because I changed out of that controlling place to just curious, [00:10:00] why do you do this to her?[00:10:02] And the part talked about how, when he, she was being sexually abused, it needed to get her out of her body and it needed to contain the rage that would get her more abuse. And so I shifted with that now. I'm not just curious, but I have an abiding respect and appreciation for the heroic role as part of played in her life.[00:10:26] And as I got to know it more though, it sounded like it was still living back in that time. Like it, it didn't realize she had grown up and wasn't in that kind of danger anymore. So with all of that, I started to really change my view of these parts. And now 40 years later I can safely say that there aren't any bad ones.[00:10:49] Like I said, that that's the nature of the mind to have them. We all have them. They will be called thinking, is them communicating most of the time? [00:11:00] And it's, we're born with them. They they're valuable assets to us as we develop in life and trauma and well cortical attachment injuries, which would be bad parenting basically forced them out of their naturally valuable States into roles that can be destructive and also freeze them in time and give them what I call burdens, which the definition which are extreme beliefs and emotions that came into your system from some kind of a trauma and attached to these parts, like the COVID virus almost and drive the way they operate afterwards.[00:11:48] So to heal them. We learned that you have to get them out of where they're stuck in the past and you witnessed what happened to them. And then. Help them unburden release these extreme [00:12:00] beliefs and emotions, and then almost magically though transform immediately when that happens. So anyway, that's a long answer that dig.[00:12:08] Yeah. That's a great answer. I just want, I was curious because I have read the story of how you began. I'm curious. I think you may have addressed in one of your books. What was it like for you back then? 40 years ago, discovering Internal Family Systems when your specialty had been external, as we see family therapy, what were your colleagues saying?[00:12:29] What was, what was the lay of the land for you as you began talking about multiple voices in people's heads? I'm trying to imagine it's the seventies. Yeah, well, it was early eighties, early eighties. My apologies. What was the narrative going on around you with your colleagues, as you seem to have made this discovery of an internal world?[00:12:55] You know, I was attacked. Isn't probably the best word, but I, I got a lot of criticism [00:13:00] from both sides. My family therapy colleagues felt like I was betraying the cause because family therapy, a pendulum swing away from psychoanalysis or psycho traditional psychotherapy, where you spent a lot of time focused on the individual and their intra-psychic process in family therapy said, no, we don't need to do that.[00:13:23] We can change everything by just changing these external relationships. So a lot of my, and I, you know, I was building in that field. I coauthored the basic textbook. That was the most popular textbook by then. So a lot of my colleagues saw me as a traitor and were pretty vocal about it. And then I developed it in a department of psychiatry at the university of Illinois at Chicago.[00:13:54] And it was a very psychoanalytic department. And the, [00:14:00] one of the big luminaries in that department took me to task claiming that I, I was fragmenting people by having them focus on these things and that I was dangerous basically, and tried to get me fired. So, so yeah, it was a rough ride back then. And, you know, in retrospect to get through all of that, I had to rely on parts of me that could be arrogant and didn't care what people thought and just said, I don't, you know, and, and we're very protective of other very vulnerable parts of me that felt really worthless.[00:14:41] And we're. You know, mortified that people would be judging me that way. Yeah. And so it wouldn't have been papers produced. There wouldn't have been a team of colleagues that you could talk with about this, your entire narrative was with your clients, and then there's literally [00:15:00] your there's known unknowns.[00:15:01] And then there's all the unknown unknowns and you were dealing with nearly all unknown unknowns. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty lonely for quite a while. And then I started getting the courage to talk about it more. I started to draw students who were very interested and so we, we had a little kind of study group where we'd compare notes, every session.[00:15:23] And, and some of them actually contributed quite a lot in the early stages of this, a woman named Mitchy Rose in particular. And, and so that really helped when I felt like. I had a kind of support. Yeah. Good. I'm pleased I can't I'm imagining back then. If the feedback you're getting is from clients saying one thing and your colleagues is saying another, the internal conflict for you must have been the greatest because external acceptance from your colleagues when you're in the role you're in, is what you'd always [00:16:00] measured your progress by until then.[00:16:01] And now there, none of that existed, none of what you'd counted on, you could rely on anymore. Yeah. You know, I, I come from a very scientific family. My father was a high powered medical researcher, physician, and he always talked about follow the data, even if it takes you way outside your paradigm. And if, if you're consistently getting this data, even if it's some totally controversial just stay with it.[00:16:35] And that was a huge lesson for me. And he, he was quite supportive even though it all sounded kind of bizarre to him too. Yeah. Good. So can you talk us through what I F S is internal family systems? Can you give us a snapshot in your own words? So those who are unfamiliar can have a deeper sense of what it is.[00:16:58] Yeah. So [00:17:00] it's been a form of psychotherapy, but it's also becoming more and more a kind of life practice. And we are trying to bring it to other groups like yours and it Involves some basic assumptions about people that are different than the most common assumptions about human nature. One of which is that it's, it's the natural state of the mind to be multiple and to have what we call parts and that each of these parts are individual personalities that have a full range of emotion and belief and thought and, and interact inside in a system.[00:17:42] And that that system is can be studied and, and transformed and that these parts, aren't what they seem, that they're all valuable and forced into extreme roles. And also that [00:18:00] just beneath the surface of these parts that I've talked about is what I'm going to call itself, which is a kind of essence.[00:18:09] That is in everybody can't be damaged and knows how to heal. It knows how to heal these parts once you access that stuff and knows how to heal external relationships also. And, and so a lot of the IFS has become helping people access that essence. And in that state begin to relate to these parts and to relate to their intimate partners or relate to their, the people that work for them or that they work with.[00:18:44] Or so to, to encourage what we call self-leadership both internally and externally. And I stumbled on ways to access that very quickly. In most cases, Hmm, the way I look at IFS [00:19:00] is it's the easiest way I've found to help me with my inner reactivity. That's that's what IFS has given me. It's the fastest way and the easiest way I've found to help me process my reactivity might, if you want to call it triggers, I don't like that word, but my inner activity.[00:19:20] So I don't play it out on the person I'm with, or I don't play it out on what I think is the source of my upset instead. The gift for me is if I think the source of the upset is someone else to me, IFS tells me that is a gift for you now to have the opportunity to look within. And I have fish hoses, how to look with them because there are plenty of modalities, Dick that say go within, but they don't tell you how it's like meditate or sit with it or let's see what counts.[00:19:50] That's not helpful. And as someone who's been doing this for a while, it's just doesn't help me. So I, this is showing me the steps of, okay, that I, that [00:20:00] can't be the source, but that is a lesson. That gives me the opportunity to go within and we'll walk through the process of that hopefully, and then I can then deal with my reactivity instead of thinking they have to change.[00:20:12] It's a gift and an opportunity for me to grow in that area, beautifully said Sharon. And in that way, you're using the other person as what we call a tormentor tormenting, you, they're mentoring, you tormentor with a hyphen between the tor and the mentor. They're messaging you about what you need to heal.[00:20:34] And, and also in our crazy language, you're following the trailheads that that person has put in your face, which are emotions and thoughts and impulses that if you focus on it, We'll take you to a part that needs your attention, that needs your health stuff. Yeah. So just slow it down there. [00:21:00] So the way to my understanding is the way to know that a trail head, a trail head is a thought emotion of physical movement that you intended or didn't intend.[00:21:11] It could be a sensation. It could be a visualization. It could be a, just a, a thought feeling. Any of that are opportunities or what IFS would call a Trailhead to a part. And there's nothing bad about it. That's the thing. It's not that we're, there's no bad parts in all the years you've been doing this.[00:21:31] There's not a, you've never come across a part that wasn't lovable ultimately, and we couldn't feel love for that's. Right. And I've worked with people who, you know, whose parks had made them do heinous things. I spent seven years working at an agency for. Sex offenders. And we, we do this work in prisons now with people that have murdered people.[00:21:54] And even those parts, when you have the person find it and focused [00:22:00] on it, and instead of fearing it or hating it, curious that those parts will tell their secret histories of how they were forced into the roles they're in and how they carry the burden of their perpetrator’s energy. That drives them to want to perpetrate[00:22:16] right. And so on. And so on. What was your, I don't know if this is putting it on the spot, but what was the recipient recidivism rate after working with IFS on people who'd done those crimes? Well, we didn't do real good outcome studies with it. You know, anecdotally the people that I know of it really well, but we don't have a clear outcome study.[00:22:43] So I'm loathe to say more than that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So someone listening, because I'm familiar with it. I don't want to make too many assumptions about what people know. Yeah. So we'll just slow down there. So a part is a Trailhead is a thought, a feeling, [00:23:00] a sensation, it's a visualization, it's a voluntary movement or ambulatory movement, which is an indicator.[00:23:05] We could meet a pad. And in IFS we want to meet that part can you walk us through the types of parts there are? Cause I, I, I know there are types of parts and once people get familiar with the world that we're about to build for them, it's really fun to play in that world. It's joyful to know how to go inside and translate what we're saying into activities.[00:23:31] So can you walk us through, let's just start with the basics, the types of parts. Yeah. Well, again, I'm a systems thinker, family therapists. So as my clients where we're describing this landscape to me, I started to look for distinctions and the big distinction that leaped out immediately was between.[00:23:54] There was some parts who were quite young and sensitive and [00:24:00] because they were sensitive inner children, the traumas affected them the most. And so they would wind up carrying, you know, it would be like an inner little girl inside of you before she got hurt. You loved her. It was, she gives you all this delight in the world and the desire to get close to people and playfulness and creativity.[00:24:25] But after she gets hurt, now she carries the burden of emotional pain or terror or shame or something like that. And now you don't want anything to do with her because she can make you feel as bad as you felt during the trauma. And she's still stuck back there. And so you consciously or not. Lock her up inside in a way we call exiling and try to just move on, just move on.[00:24:58] I know [00:25:00] like the US and Australia is kind of just move on culture, like rugged individualists. And so you think you're just moving on from the memories and the emotions from the trauma, not knowing you're locking up your most precious qualities and in doing that, so these, we call them exiles. And when you get a lot of exiles, you feel much more delicate, and the world becomes much more dangerous because all kinds of things could trigger those parts.[00:25:35] And when they get triggered, it's like flames of emotion are going to totally consume you and overwhelm you and make it that you can't function sometimes. And so then a lot of other parts I recruited. Into becoming these protectors to try and contain those exiles and protect them from the world. And some of them do that by trying to [00:26:00] manage your life so that the exiles don't get triggered.[00:26:03] They, they manage your relationships so that you don't let anybody get too close, or you don't let people, you depend on get to distance or they manage your appearance so that you don't get rejected and they manage your performance. So you did a lot of accolades to counter the worthlessness that the exiles feel.[00:26:25] So we call them managers, it's one class of protector. And then despite the best efforts of these managers, you still get that the world still has a way of breaking through those defenses. And an exile comes bursting out and that's a big emergency. So there's another set of parts, protectors, whose job it is to deal with that emergency right now.[00:26:51] Like I've got to get away from this feeling or it's going to kill me. And so they are the ones that do the bingeing, [00:27:00] the impulsive reactive, like the reactive part of you, you were talking about and they don't care about the collateral damage to your relationships of your body. They just got to get you away and do it immediately.[00:27:15] And so that's the other class of protector. So that's a pretty simple map. And again, I want to reiterate that these aren't descriptions of the actual parts it's descriptions of the roles they're forced into, and once released from these roles, they often do something entirely different. Sometimes quite the opposite of the role there.[00:27:36] It's always valuable. But, so that is the little map managers, firefighters, both of whom are protetors trying to protect and contain these exiles. So can we go through an example with someone who might be experiencing anxiety? Can we create a construct of a person? So our viewers can get a sense [00:28:00] of what an example of that could be.[00:28:02] And I'm happy to share my example. If you can share an example of those three inactions,[00:28:07] we could, we could also role play it if you wanted, or could actually work with your anxiety, if you have any[00:28:13] yeah. Well, let's make it real. And I did think about something that, and I very carefully didn't do any work on it. I did not do any ifs and yes, I'm more than happy to demonstrate it because I have an inkling. I have a Trailhead. Which is a thought feeling that I'm happy to[00:28:30] let's do it. So what's the thought feeling a feeling here in my gut, sometimes high in my gut and sometimes low of righteousness or needing to be right. Needing to correct and make it right. And there's a tension around it. Dick like there's a tension, like I want to, this has gotta be right. Yeah. And it's got to happen right away, right?[00:28:59] [00:29:00] Yes. There's an urgency to it as well. Yes. There is an urgency. So as you notice all that in your gut, Sharon, how do you feel toward that part of it?[00:29:13] I don't feel anything towards it just yet. Hang on.[00:29:18] It just is what other ones do you, it just is, you don't have an attitude about it. You don't want to get rid of it or you, you just, just noticing. No, I want to understand it. I want to understand it. It just is. And I would love to understand it. I certainly don't feel anything negative towards it at all.[00:29:37] It's part of me. Right. So focus on it again, down there and let it know. You're curious about it and just ask what it wants you to know about itself and wait for the answer. Don't think of the answer. Just wait for an answer to come from [00:30:00] that place.[00:30:01] I'm here. I want to be heard. Okay. Are you open to hearing it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let it know. You're ready and just see what it wants you to hear.[00:30:19] It's hard. I work hard is a lot to think about part works hard. Yeah. I'm I'm just hearing what it's saying. I work hard is a lot to think about and, huh,[00:30:37] it's a tough job. Someone's got to do it.[00:30:40] And Sharon ask it, what it's afraid would happen if it didn't do this love job.[00:30:46] Get judged.[00:30:48] Yeah. So you'd make a mistake and get judged or how would you get judged[00:30:54]is it okay? That I take a moment. Cause I'm really, it takes a while for this to happen for me. [00:31:00] Yeah. I'm just going to go inside and be. Sure whenever you need,[00:31:07] there's a sense of it would get criticized if it didn't get it right. It wasn't a sentence. It was a feeling. Does this match? Yeah, it does make sense. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Let it know that that makes sense to you. You can understand that. And how are you feeling toward it now? I feel really compassionate.[00:31:32] I'm giving it a big hug. We'll let it know that. Yeah. Perfect. How's it. How's it reacts to melting, melting into me. That's great. It's like[00:31:50] call the weight just, yeah. Yeah, that's great. [00:32:00] Yeah. Maybe ask it how old it thinks you are[00:32:04]10.[00:32:05] Yeah, so maybe when you were 10, it needed to worry like this, but let it know how old you really are. You don't have to tell me[00:32:15] I’m going to fudge it a little bit, but I get what you're saying. Yep.[00:32:19] And see how it reads. Okay. See how it reacts to the news that you're not telling anymore.[00:32:25] It’s in. Awe just, wow. And it's looking up like, wow, it's amazing. You're so old.[00:32:35] Yeah, but let it know. Well, it's finding it funny that I'm that old,[00:32:45] but let it know that since you're not 10, you can do a lot more anticipating and, and controlling the world than you could bear. So you can rely on you [00:33:00] a little more than it thought it could and just see how it reacts to that idea. It's just hugging me.[00:33:07] It’s like the easiest hug. Like I've done some parts work before, but this one's just like, of course you're here. That's right. Yeah. Ask what it would need from you going forward to really trust it. Didn't have to work so hard[00:33:28]to know that I love it.[00:33:31] That that's the strongest message I've got from wow.[00:33:37] To know. I love you. Yeah. Yeah. So, Sharon, are you, are you good with that? Can you reassure that? Yes. Yes I am. So tell the part, you're going to do that for it.[00:33:54] Yep. I'm doing it right now. [00:34:00] Fantastic.[00:34:01] It’s so good.[00:34:03] Just love this love and playfulness and excitement. I can't even explain it, but there's excitement and there's freedom and there is[00:34:20] playfulness like[00:34:22] almost to show off playfulness. Wow.[00:34:25] Wow. I'm just telling you it. It's amazing and loved. That's great. So does that feel complete for now?[00:34:36] Feels awesome. Dick. I don't know how to recognize complete, but it feels amazing and so close. There's no distance now between us. There's this we're a team. That's great.[00:34:57]and then tell the part [00:35:00] just that you're going to follow up on it every day. You're going to remind it that you love it at least for a month. Yeah, yeah,[00:35:11] yeah. And then when you're ready, come on. Back outside.[00:35:14] It’s just fantastic. Yeah. It was a great example and[00:35:23]I feel amazing.[00:35:25]Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. It's a great demonstration of the work I'm still there a little bit. Just enjoying. I don't want to drag you away. Yeah. I just feel really tingley oh my God. My fingers feel electric. That's what we call self energy.[00:35:54] When you fall apart like that, it opens the channels for this energy to flow through your body. [00:36:00] I read about it and I was feeling kind of ripped off. Cause it never happened for me when I've done my parts work be for, I guess I feel a little tingley and it's all electric. It's like yeah. That when you touch static, it was all static all down my hands.[00:36:24] Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So that'll be more accessible to you now. Cause that that little worry part was blocking it. Okay. I just need to have people know who are watching this. This is real right? This is very extraordinary feeling. It's still there. It's a very healing energy. And that's part of how, you know, when yourself is in your body, because you'll start to feel [00:37:00] more of that.[00:37:02] So everything feels like it's static and electric.[00:37:06]I know you know this, but this is I'm having quite the trip right now.[00:37:11] Wow. That is extraordinary. Thank you. Thank you. It's a very happy, happy to do it with you. Oh, wow. Okay. Coming back. And that just stays. I just get to have this. Yeah, you gotta keep taking care of that little, little part. And there might be other parts that'll block it at different points for different reasons.[00:37:42] Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's just there. It's just in you and around you. It's so good. If you're not feeling it, then you just track down the part that's blocking. Okay. It's like the best [00:38:00] investigation you can ever do for yourself on yourself. That's how I look at it. That's right. Wow. It's very powerful data.[00:38:07] That is, that feels extraordinary. Yeah. As I, you know, as I go through my day I'm noticing how much of that I'm feeling and if it cannot feel much, I'll just find like there are my, you know, usual suspects in my forehead and on my shoulders and I'll notice them and I'll just remind them they could relax.[00:38:30] And then I just feel it moving into my body. Yes. Yes. I've started doing that with a couple of parts. I visit them every day and have been for a month and we're getting a really well, but this level of charge, this is new. Hmm. Wow. Okay. Next question.[00:38:51] I feel a little high. Is that something that's been said to you before? Yeah. Yeah. [00:39:00] Especially when you, when you helped a key part, because the part is feeling so great. You're just feeling the delight of this little, this little one. Okay. Let's call it a delight and not high, but I'm feeling a little high.[00:39:19] Okay. Okay. So one of the things I'm going to have a go now at where I wanted to hit in this conversation. Thank you so much for that. That's. Wow. Wonderful. I'm going to have that old day with me. That's just tremendous. And I will visit every day. So I heard that's a great example for people who are watching or listening on how powerful and wonderful this is to me, it's joyful work dig.[00:39:44] When I go in and follow the trail head and find the part and what I love, and I hope that's demonstrated is it would be so easy on the surface to judge that part oh my God, you need to knock it off. And why am I always so blank? And [00:40:00] I wish I wasn't and Oh God, I've done it again. And instead, if we now know how to embrace it and get to know it and find out its positive intention, we realize all along, it was on a team, but it was doing it at the age at which it learnt how to protect us.[00:40:19] That's exactly right. Very well said Sharon and I was kind of surprised when I asked you how you feel toward it. That you didn't say something like that. I'm annoyed by it. I wish it would go away because most people do. That's the first thing most people say they do. I've been doing a bit of work in ifs for a while.[00:40:38] I'll, I'll give you the heads up. IFS I think even before I knew I Fs, I realized I've got to love all of me. And one of the things they teach in coaching is we to reject any emotional or aspect of ourselves is to reject ourselves. And the past to self love is to accept all of us, even the bits that we don't understand or [00:41:00] relate with.[00:41:01] That's partly why I'm so excited to bring this to coaching and why I'm so excited to talk to you because I think in some ways more than psychotherapy ifs is a really good match for the philosophy. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get to that. Cause I'll share with you soon. How I am bringing. Ifs or aspects of it for nonclinical populations to coaching, because there are aspects of it I've already pulled IFS we starting to put into the curriculum and I'd love to chat with you about it.[00:41:31] So we've got exiles who see the world is dangerous possibly, and they're pro probably more delicate than we have the managers or protectors who have no tolerance for fear or shamefulness or emotional pain. And they'll do anything to hide the exile it's almost like they're a guardian is the way I picture them.[00:41:51] That's right. Yeah. There's a lot of common manager roles. So there is, there are managers that keep you in your head all the [00:42:00] time and don't let you feel your body and keep you an intellectual. And then there are managers, particularly for women who take care of everybody. So, and never let you take care of yourself.[00:42:13] And there are managers who are scan for danger all the time. Are a little hypervigilant and so on and so on. And you know, there's a lot of comp and again, they're just the roles. These like yours was just forced into, but what they should, and then we have and then we have a firefighter above that whose role is if the exile breaks out, they're going to come in and they're going to suppress it.[00:42:42] And they don't care who they hurt, how they lash out collateral damage means nothing to them. That's right. Yeah. Which means there's a built-in polarization between managers and firefighters, because managers are [00:43:00] all about keeping you in control and pleasing everybody and firefighters do the opposite most of the time.[00:43:07] Not always. And so that's what I was saying earlier with the bulemic who the binge part was her firefighter. And then the manager was attacking her for letting the binge take over like that because it would, you know, make her heavy and so on. And so most of us have that kind of battle going on inside between managers and firefighters.[00:43:34] And that battle becomes self-perpetuating because the more shame these inner critics, which is another common manager role give you the more they shame you, the more that goes right to the heart of these little exiles who feel even worse now. So that makes the job of the firefighter even more important.[00:43:57] And then the, so you're in that vicious [00:44:00] cycle. So I'm picturing somebody who has say they can't control the temper for example, if I was to put that in IFS narrative, I possibly would sense. See what this gives me, Dick, this is another great gift of it. You'll never see anybody else the same way again, because if you see someone angry, you know, you're probably seeing a firefighter, which means their exile is feeling unsafe and the protector didn't do the job.[00:44:28] So there's a lot more compassion now with interactions instead of just judging it or blaming it or rejecting it, you can observe it from a compassionate detachment. Bingo. Yeah. That's beautiful that you're really getting it. I'm very impressed how deeply you've got the model. Cause that's right. It's almost like you have x-ray vision in the sense that you see past the, your opponent's protectors to the vulnerability and the pain and the terror and the shame that drive those [00:45:00] protectors.[00:45:01] And you can have compassion, which doesn't mean you don't, you don't stand up to that person, but you can stand up to that person. From Self we haven't talked about this yet, but we're getting to self definitely. Okay. So the, as I was seeing this in everybody, this was like the same person would pop out when parts would open space.[00:45:25] I started to catalog the qualities that would, would come out in that person. And that would be things like calm and curiosity and confidence, compassion. And as you're getting the, I'll begin with the letter C courage, clarity creativity and connectedness, and three of those confidence, clarity and courage means that self can be very forceful and clear and can take a stand.[00:45:58] But with compassion [00:46:00] with, with also with compassion. And that's, you know, when I work with leaders, I'm working with lots of social activists now. And many of them have these very angry, judgmental parts that they do their activism from, that motivates them. And we're getting those parts to relax similarly to how we had your anxiety part to relax and trust their self to do their activism.[00:46:27] And when they do that, they're just much more effective activists. So could we go so far as to say some activists are activists, because they don't know how to manage their internal journey? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of activists got hurt somehow or had a trauma and had a part say, I'm going to make sure this doesn't happen to other people.[00:46:54] Yes, that's driven them, which is great. You know, it's, [00:47:00] it's, it's great that it's got them where they can do this, but it also polarizes. Well, the problem with it is activism. When it's taken to the extreme, in the terms that IFS is, it's a firefighter who will shame someone else cause they don't care about clinical collateral damage.[00:47:18] So they will shame. They will tear down. They will try to destroy someone metaphorically because they are coming from a place where they haven't got in touch with the part that needs the healing or they getting a keep using the world as a landscape to resolve, which only can be resolved through this internal journey.[00:47:41] That's right. Yeah. That's right. So yeah. So I'm helping them regain the trust of those protectors, helping the self. Get trusted again by the protector to lead just to the way yours did. Yeah. And then we're also which [00:48:00] we didn't do, but we're also going to what the protector protects and healing and that isn't necessarily the domain of coaches.[00:48:09] Exactly. Yeah. I'll talk to you about that in a moment. We'll talk about true self now, and then I'd love to chat with you about how coaching and coaches can integrate IFS because I do see some very strong parallels that are beautiful. So the, our Self I call it our true self in our trainings. You call it the self with a capital S can you walk us through, can you introduce us to this phenomenal, remarkable truth that we all have a Self it's?[00:48:41] Fantastic. Yeah. I just stumbled into it because my family therapy background. I was trying to get clients to have a different kind of conversation with these parts. As I was learning about the parts from my class, once I got hip to the fact [00:49:00] that they're not what they seem and that they deserve to be listened to, I was trying to get my client to get curious and interact and have a dialogue much the same as you got as you did with your parts just now.[00:49:14] And I was finding that as we were saying earlier, maybe let's say I'm having one of these bulimic kids have tried to talk to her critic and it's going okay, because she's staying curious, but suddenly she's angry at the critic. And then the critic gets defensive and escalates and. It reminded me of family sessions, where I'm working with a teenage girl and her critical mother.[00:49:42] And as I'm having them try to get along better, she suddenly the girls gets angry at the mother and you looked around the room and you see the father is cuing her, that he disagrees with the mother too, and she's fighting his battle for him. And so we [00:50:00] taught his family therapists to get him out of her line of vision, get them to step back in the room and create a better boundary around the mother and the daughter.[00:50:09] And when you do that, the girl settles down and they do have a decent conversation. I thought maybe the same thing's happening in this inner system is I'm trying to have my client talk to her critic, a part who hates it has come in and is doing the talking. So I started asking clients, can you find the one who just jumped in and is so angry at the critic?[00:50:31] And could you get it to step back in there? Basically the same intervention or relax or open space and as they would do that, cause I was amazed that people could do that. It would just suddenly they would turn into this other person who had a lots of curiosity, calm compassion for the target part and things would go really well.[00:50:58] And I could get out of the way and [00:51:00] they would just take over the session because they knew how to relate to that part of the heli way. And when I would do it with other healing it was like the same person popped out. And so at some point I started asking what part of you was that? And they'd say some version of, that's not a part that's me, that's myself.[00:51:22] So I came to call that itself of the capital us to distinguish it from the common use of the word self, which is. Me as a whole person. And now, again, 40 years later, thousands of clients later, thousands of people using this all over the world, we can safely say that that is in everybody and can't be damaged and it knows how to heal.[00:51:46] And, and as we were saying earlier, that's a big deal. It's amazing. And it, and it's there in everyone. There are no exceptions. So for anyone who's listening, who's got huge, soft doubt or the challenges around self-esteem or the [00:52:00] convinced that somehow they've got a flaw you also have this centered self that is filled with calm and clarity and compassion that is filled with a sense of connection and creativity and curiosity and confidence and courage.[00:52:17] It is innate in all of us. It cannot be damaged. It cannot be taken away. It is innate in every single person. There are no exceptions. And now for the person who's listening, thinking. Yeah, but I am the exception. You're even, you are not the exception. It is in you.[00:52:34] That’s right. And, and it's just beneath the surface of these parts, such that when they open space, it's just pops out. And, and as you were experiencing earlier, there is an energy to it, a vibrating energy that your body, and it's, you know, its what people meditate to get to, but this is a quicker way to get to, and then not [00:53:00] only get to it, but actually from it begin to lead your life both internally and externally.[00:53:08] And this is the real key. Let's walk through ana scenario so I, if I know someone who's very, very defensive, for example, and they hearing a scenario going, why don't feel very centered? I don't feel the eight C's can you describe just your hypothetically, how is their centered self or their true self hidden?[00:53:28] If it's somebody who has described this person as defensive, they are overly protective. They're highly self-conscious. Yeah. It's what we call blended that the defensive part has blended with their self. And thinks it has to sort of like your little worried part plans with you sometimes and makes it, so you don't feel very secure.[00:53:53] The parts have that ability they can, they can take over and you can suddenly see the [00:54:00] world through their eyes when they do that. And so a lot of the work is just convincing them that they don't have to do that. And as, as we found, they're often stuck back in times when they, they did need to do it when you were 10 and are not aware that they don't still need to do it.[00:54:23] So, so the defense would go ahead. So I was going to say, and it's not that they take over the center itself. I don't want anyone hearing thinking the center itself can be hijacked. Or in any way co-opted to work for a protect. It doesn't, it is sacrosanct. It is sacred within, as soon as the seat of our consciousness, it is unblemished through all of time, but the protectors take over and it takes a back seat.[00:54:51] It is no way blemish though. Yeah, yeah. In a sense they, they can take over and and partly [00:55:00] because it can happen so quickly that they blend with us, that we're not even aware of it. And we just start to look through at the world through their perspective until you start to get hip to it. And you notice, so I, I work with lots of clients who, who have a lot of very extreme, protective parts that they're quite blended with.[00:55:26] And so gradually I help I say no, that isn't, you that's this. Defensive part. Let's get to know it. And as they get to know it, then they get a little separation from it. And then as they separate from it, they get a little more access to sell. And then if something happens that, that the defensive part gets a, I know you don't like the word triggered, but what's the word you reacted reactive.[00:55:56] Yeah. If it takes over again, [00:56:00] now they kind of notice it's taken over. Whereas before they wouldn't, they would just be that part. And instead of going with all of its paranoid stuff or whatever it's saying, while they notice it's taken over inside, they can kind of say, it's okay, I'm here still. I can, I can handle this.[00:56:24] And so that becomes the way to handle your anger rather than all the. You know, affect regulation skills that you have to learn all that stuff. Yes. And the way you put it, Dick is we're going to learn to speak for our parts instead of from them. And I love that distinction. So rather than just feeling reactive and then acting on that reactivity, it's that cause and effect, I feel it.[00:56:51] So I'm going to say it it's hang on. I feel it reassure it, remind it that you're here and you've got [00:57:00] this and then speak for it. And to say I'm feeling part of me is feeling whatever it's feeling and thought of me is feeling tense right now. Part of me is feeling upset with the way that you put that and it's really feeling uncared for.[00:57:15] So I'm just going to take a moment. I'm going to breathe into it because right now I feel like part of me wants to lash out. But there's a bigger part of me that wants to maintain their connection with you. And that's a very different scenario in the conversation with someone you love. This is just coming from that reactivity with the justification and the heat that we can feel.[00:57:36] Yeah. I I'm continually impressed with how deeply, you know, the model. And so I'm very happy about that, but that's okay. Be a good opportunity to just do this internal family systems therapy by Schwartz and Sweezy, is that the one you recommend? Yeah, well, that's for therapists, but coaches would get a lot out of it too.[00:58:00] [00:57:59] It's the second that people want to get. I really have been studying it Dick because I've found it very joyful way to getting I am a meditator and I'm a very poor meditator. I'm the first to say that. So finding IFS and realizing, I now have something to bring to my meditate. My daily practice has been very energizing for me and I enjoy doing it now, whereas before it's been quite a challenge.[00:58:26] And so there's been a lot of joy around that internal journey now because of the guidance that you've provided. One of the things I love about self is in many traditions, in fact, all throughout history, in the spiritual traditions, the Self is a witness, or is a is silent and still, but for you Dick and IFS the self is very active.[00:58:47] And shows up and doesn't just witness, can you just flesh that out a little bit? Yeah. Again, you said it really well, and that's a lot of what spiritual traditions are [00:59:00] designed or try to achieve is to have you in that witness consciousness, where you're noticing your thoughts and emotions. You're not bonded with them and you're noticing them maybe from a place of acceptance, but you're pretty passive.[00:59:15] You're not active with them. You just kind of witness. And for me, it's not compassionate to watch suffering beings’ parade by. So if you think of these as merely thoughts and emotions, it makes sense to separate and just witness. But if you think of them as suffering beings, which is what I feel like they are.[00:59:39] Yes. Then no, you're not going to just sit there and watch them. You're going to go and try and do what you did with your little one a minute ago. And you're going to become an active leader that they can trust because most of these parts are quite young, even the ones that seem so smart and, and protective [01:00:00] are, you know, usually not more than a teenager and they aren't equipped or run a whole person.[01:00:09] They actually, when they see that you're not 10 and that you're a good deal, older,[01:00:16]they get, they get a lot of relief from that. Cause it's like Lord of the flies, you know, it's like a bunch of little kids just trying to make it. And here comes some adult and they, Oh my God. Okay. Yeah. I love it. It's fantastic. One of the things that I'm loving is my daily practice. So if I was to talk about ifs in terms of outcomes, it brings me closer to flow.[01:00:44] What Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi talks about that state of flow. To me, it's about helping me experience balance on the inside and on the outside. It helps me know that my outside world is an opportunity for me to learn more about how I've [01:01:00] created my inside world. Is there anything else you would add in terms of that in terms of IFS just regular daily practice?[01:01:08] Yeah. It's also fascinating as you're finding, you know, who knew there was all this stuff going on inside of you. That is so interesting. And so, so that, and the more you heal these very, very vulnerable exiles. Then the more, the whole system relaxes. And so the goals that IFS there are four, one is the liberation of these parts from the extreme roles they've forced into, which is what we did really quickly with your a little one.[01:01:44] And then and then helping those parts start to trust self-more as the leader, both internally and externally, and then re harmonizing the inner system. So not only the parts [01:02:00] liberated from their roles, but they begin to get to know each other and work together. And you'd stopped noticing them very much because they're just doing what they're here to do.[01:02:10] They're doing what they're designed to do. And it's almost like, I don't know if you ever saw the murmuration of starlings that. With those videos, check it out. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's like, they're working as one organism and you feel much more integrated and there's a kind of beauty to that. And then you can be in the world in a much more integrated way so that your, the things you used to fear doing, you just don't have the same fear about.[01:02:46] And and that's a lot of what I'm doing with activists and, and you know, the things you used to rely on these intense protectors you don't need anymore. And so you can, like we were saying earlier, [01:03:00] you can see the pain that drives people like Donald Trump and, and, and all those extremes, even while you're not letting him ruin the country.[01:03:12] And, and then you also are no longer, so afraid to get really, really, really close to an intimate partner cause they can't hurt you in the same way. And so, yeah, there's a lot to be said about it and also you can get hurt, but handle it. It doesn't create this massive flare. It doesn't become an emergency Dick.[01:03:38] That's the difference for me, I'm still going to get hurt, but it's just not going to turn into an emergency. That's right. It's not going to be an emergency. And when I get hurt, I know to go to the part that was hurt yeah. And comfort and hold it in the way you just did rather than locked away. So that's, that's, we're trying to [01:04:00] bring this to education.[01:04:01] So the kids learn at an early age. If I get bullied, I don't have to exile the part that got hurt. I can embrace it and unburden it in the moment. Yeah, that's important. So let's talk about coaching and ifs. I can see some really beautiful parallels and some synergies there. One of the first things that I've took from ifs immediately into my coaching.[01:04:25] So I coach some clients is the beautiful, compassionate sense that whatever's coming up for them. There is going to be compassion for that. part acceptance, not tolerance. It's not even tolerance, it's acceptance and embracing and understand that that part of them was geared at that stage of their development to do the job the best they could.[01:04:47] And the moment we can relieve them of that job and find out what they'd prefer to do, they then have just co-opted the sense itself. Now has somebody else on their team to help them be all they can [01:05:00] be. Because I believe coaching really is. I don't think coaching is goal setting. I believe, I think that's so superficial.[01:05:07] I believe coaching's truest purpose. It is truest core is to help us become our truest selves, to bring us closer to, to knowing, experiencing, and expressing our truest self. That centred self you speak of. So to me, coaching and IFS works well together because it's a pathway to that. I totally agree with that.[01:05:31] And very well-spoken. Yeah. It's exactly what I agree with. Another parallel I see with coaching and IFS is this we're talking, we're taught in coaching and NLP. Neuro-linguistic programming that any sign of resistance in a client is poor communication on the coach's part. Whereas IFS turns that completely around and I've embraced it immediately because it's just so it resonates so strongly.[01:05:56] It's resistance in a client is smart [01:06:00] by the client because there is a part a particular part that isn't feeling safe in that moment and is quite rightly spoken up. And that's an opportunity, again, a Trailhead for us to go and visit that part and do what we do. And I just find that it's got so much flow in it rather than saying, Oh my God, I've communicated poorly when I'm with a really defensive client, because after a while, how do you get in how many hoops as the coach?[01:06:28] Do I jump through before I say, after all, actually the resistance is really in the client and this is very freeing now to know where to look for that. That's right. And some of that comes from, there was a point where I, where clients were having really bad, like backlash experiences after some of my sessions.[01:06:51] Yeah. And I started to realize these are delicate ecologies that I'm mucking around, and I better really learn the lay of the land [01:07:00] and how to be an ecologically sensitive Explorer with them. And so the map I described earlier came out of that. It came out of sort of necessity if I was going to keep doing this.[01:07:14] And what I learned was protectors often have a really good reason to not let you in. And, and if we just try to trick them into letting us that isn't going to either it's not going to work or they're going to have consequences later. Yeah. And so we learned to really respect the pace of the protectors and to get to know them first and honor them for their service and let them know.[01:07:47] That we're not going anywhere without their permission. So they're the boss and it's our job. It's our job to make a case for why it might be in their best interest to let us [01:08:00] do some of this. But, you know, they know better than us, the potential damage that could happen inside. So we're not going to push them.[01:08:11] And they've been doing only that job all this time. It's not like they know how to do something else, just because we think we know best. As you say, we have the same goals. We have a very non pathologizing. We share a very non pathologize sort of positive sense of human nature that we convey to clients.[01:08:33] And at the same time, I think I have has. Offers a language that helps people admit to things a lot more easily. You sell hope Dick because there is a truest self that is in all of us. So we coached the truest self rather than trying to fix something that is incredibly freeing [01:09:00] that is tremendous. That's right.[01:09:03] And I'm doing a lot of work around racism now in the US and so it's one thing to listen, you know, to have a reaction inside that's racist and think, Oh my God, I'm a racist and shame yourself to death. And to try to lock away the parts that say that, and it's quite another to have that same reaction and then think, Oh, I've got some parts that carry the burden of racism.[01:09:31] I'm going to get to know them. And, and I'm, it doesn't mean I'm a racist, I, myself, isn't a racist, I've got some parts that carry that legacy burden. So let me just get to know them and see what they need to be able to unload that. And so that's what I'm trying to bring to that whole conversation too. So not only is it make for an easier convert easier to admit to things like that, [01:10:00] but it also you kind of know that you aren't these extreme things that are going on inside of you.[01:10:06] You're much more than that, but it's also not labeling the person, which I just can't. I don't understand how labeling a person is helpful. I shaming anyone, regardless of it has never helped anybody heal or brought them back into the fold. So anything that helps remove shame and up the compassion. That's the direction we want to start getting the narrative going in.[01:10:31] It must be the language of compassion. That's the only path we're going to make progress. Totally agree in that, that goes both for inside and outside. If you're working with a client as a coach and the client has a lot of anger, let's say, or yeah. And you're afraid of your own anger, or you have an attitude about your own anger, [01:11:00] then that's going to play out in your relationship with the coach, with the client, or if you're afraid of your own exiles and your client gets very weepy or vulnerable vulnerable, it's going to be very hard for you to stay with them.[01:11:15] You're going to try and perk them up, you know, or somehow it gets them away from that. Or if you're driven by people pleasing, you're going to bring that to the coaching and not want to challenge the client. It's just, there's so many ways we play out on the client. That's right. So this is a very practical way to get to know all those parts and change those interrelationships.[01:11:40] And then you can be with people no matter how they are. That's it. One of the gifts Dick just to bring this towards the end. One of the gifts in this I've been teaching attachment theory for some time to some of our coaching students. This is a very different message to attachment theory. And [01:12:00] to me, IFS is the placeholder.[01:12:02] That must come first. And then you can draw on attachment theory to perhaps indicate where the parts may be. But can you just talk us through how that is? It is quite different. Yeah. I liked the way you put that because. There's much. I love about attachment theory. I think it's a huge gift to humanity. And there is this presumption in it that unless you had a certain kind of parenting during a critical period in your childhood, you don't have any of this stuff that we're calling Self[01:12:37] you have to get it from somebody from your wife or husband or, or from your therapist. At some point it has to come from an interaction it's not inherent in us. And that, you know, I was a big believer in attachment theory when I started on this journey. Yeah. And it wasn't until I started seeing self in [01:13:00] people who had horrible, horrible childhoods, there was no way you could account for self-showing up this way based on, on what their childhood was like.[01:13:11] And I started have started thinking. Maybe this is just in us. Maybe it doesn't have to come through and interact. And I also, I'd like to think of IFS as attachment theory taken inside because self becomes the good attachment figure to these insecure or avoidantly attached part. I love that. I love that.[01:13:36] So that rather than the therapist becoming that or the coach becoming that attachment figure, you're actually promoting the person to become that attachment figure to themselves. And the gift in it, Dick is with IFS the client does the work for themselves. With themselves. You may have an external guide.[01:13:57] Who's the coach or the therapist that you do the [01:14:00] journey. So you realize how truly empowered you are because every step you take in every step you make its you. No one did it. You can't say my God, you're a great coach. I did that. That was my center itself showing up that's phenomenal. Yeah. And people can do a lot of it on their own.[01:14:18] So people are, I work with a client, we'll have a good session and then they'll go away and, and follow up. And the first 20 minutes of the next session, they're just telling me everything they did on their own with their parts. Then we go on a little more. So it's empowering. So what are some daily practices?[01:14:42] So anybody's listened to this podcast. What are some daily practices we can do straight away to come closer to our truest self or at eight C's? Yeah. So a lot of what we've been talking about is doing a U-turn in your focus. Like, are you doing it, [01:15:00] but also why? Oh, you turn so. As you go through the day, you just kind of noticing your inner reactions and particularly noticing the more extreme lines.[01:15:12] And instead of acting, based on those reactions, you're using them as trailheads to find these parts that need your attention. And you don't have time during the day, or, you know, in the situation you're in, you kind of bookmark that you say, Oh my goodness, okay, I've got to follow up on this. And then you talk to your coach and your coach helps you follow that trail had defined the part that needs to be healed and, and, or needs more from you or need like we just did.[01:15:49] And so then life, rather than being so full of things you want to avoid or things that are so irritating. [01:16:00] Everything is Oh, okay. Another f-ing growth opportunity, you know, it's, it's true. All these can help you grow. Yeah. One of the ways I use it in my daily practice stick is I check in with myself throughout the day.[01:16:17] Am I coming from my center itself? The eight C's or if I'm expressing something that's not one of the eight C's that's to me, an opportunity to reflect on me and what it is that I might be bringing energetically that's causing some imbalance or lack of harmony in this moment. It doesn't mean, so always do something about it.[01:16:34] I'm not, I'm going to be human. And sometimes I'm like, yeah, you go, you go for it. Don't be the 8 C's cause I just feel dramatic or whatever. But at least I know now where I'm coming from, whether I'm grounded in me or I'm being taken over, allowed myself to be taken over by this reactivity is the way I look at it.[01:16:56] So to me, it's a lovely gauge to just check in for myself [01:17:00] on where I'm coming from and my intent in this moment. Ve

The new IFS Couple Therapy (IFIO) Skills Manual - with Martha Sweezy

Leituras IFS

Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2021 34:55

Today on Explorations in Psychotherapy, we are joined by Dr. Martha Sweezy. Dr. Sweezy is an assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, a program consultant and supervisor at Cambridge Health Alliance, and the former assistant director and director of training for the dialectical behavior therapy program at the Cambridge Health Alliance. She is a co-author of multiple books, including Internal Family Systems Therapy; The IFS Skills Training Manual; and Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy. She is also an author and the co-editor for Innovations and Elaborations in Internal Family Systems Therapy and Internal Family Systems Therapy: New Dimensions. She has written articles on IFS for the Journal of Psychotherapy Integration and the American Journal of Psychotherapy. Most recently she has co-authored, along with Toni Herbine-Blank, the Internal Family Systems Couple Therapy Skills Manual: Healing Relationships with Intimacy from the Inside Out. She has a therapy and consultation practice in Northampton, Massachusetts. INTRO/ LEXI: Today, on Explorations in Psychotherapy, we are joined by Dr. Martha Sweezy. Dr. Sweezy is an assistant professor, part-time, at Harvard Medical School, a program consultant and supervisor at Cambridge Health Alliance, and the former assistant director and director of training for the dialectical behavior therapy program at the Cambridge Health Alliance.She has co-authored several books on IFS, including:1. the Internal Family Systems Couple Therapy Skills Manual: Healing Relationships with Intimacy from the Inside Out with Toni Herbine-Blank2. the 2nd Edition of the book Internal Family Systems Therapy with Richard Schwartz3. the IFS Skills Training Manual with Frank Anderson and Richard Schwartz4. the book Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy with Toni Herbine-Blank and Donna KerpelmanAdditionally, she co-authored and co-edited two chapter books on various applications of IFS with Ellen Ziskind:a. Innovations and Elaborations in Internal Family Systems Therapyb. Internal Family Systems Therapy: New DimensionsShe has published articles on IFS in the Journal of Psychotherapy Integration and the American Journal of Psychotherapy.She has a therapy and consultation practice in Northampton, Massachusetts.

#153 Carson Sweezy on Crohns Disease, Lessons from Starting a Business, and his Passion for Food

Just Get Started Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2021 49:35

Episode 153 features Carson Sweezy, the Founder of Sweetz&Savoryz and someone who creates authentic communities by connecting people through food and entertainment.Find Carson Online:Website: https://www.carsonsweezy.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carsonsweezy/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carsonsweezy/TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJcs3MEK/Medium: https://medium.com/@carsonsweezyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/carsonsweezyofficial/About Carson:Carson creates authentic communities by connecting people through food and entertainment.Crohn's disease forced him to think deeply about his life and his purpose at a young age.Carson has lived and worked on farms, on food trucks, and in restaurants.He accidentally completed a college degree and left the "safe bet" of a career in real estate behind. Choosing instead to pursue his lifelong passion...to cook for and nourish his community.Carson sees food as something more than physical ingredients. It's a vehicle used to feed our minds, bodies, and souls.........Thank you for listening!I’d appreciate a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts if you believe I’ve earned it. - Leave a ReviewFollow the Just Get Started Podcast:Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/justgetstartedpodcastFacebook https://www.facebook.com/justgetstartedpodcastLearn more about the host, Brian OndrakoBrian's Now Page: https://www.brianondrako.com/now/Brian's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brianondrako/Brian's Twitter: https://twitter.com/brianondrakoBrian's Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianondrako/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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S1 Episode 14: Creating Communities Through Food with Carson Sweezy

Building Better Businesses

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2021 14:50

Carson Sweezy is the Chief Nourishment Officer at Sweetz&Savorys. He partners with B2B companies and small businesses in the U.S. to offer Sweetz&Savoryz gift boxes as a simple way to nourish their client relationships. Carson creates authentic communities by connecting people through food and entertainment, as well as donating to local charities. In this episode, we discuss: · The importance of community through shared interest, in this case locally-made food. · Building a brand with the idea that food is the vehicle to all kinds of nourishment. · How community ties can lead to returning customers and revenue even when you spread nationally. · Why business relationships are so important when building something that can be so personal, like someone's relationship with food. I hope you will find this episode as exciting and informative as I have. Please let me know your thoughts! Connect with Carson Sweezy Website: https://www.carsonsweezy.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carsonsweezy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carsonsweezy/ TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeeR2W1k/ Connect with Steve Eschbach Website: https://www.tworld.com/locations/naperville/ or https://eschbachassoc.com/ YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWqgICqaSI8xE2GRYY1HWJA LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/speschbach/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/steveeschbach/ Twitter: @ SteveEschbach Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Carson Sweezy: Developing “SWEETZ&SAVORYZ” utilizing his ‘One Word' personal brand!

The Catalyst Effect with Rich Keller

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2021 126:53

Episodes will include conversations with thought-leading entrepreneurs, emotionally intelligent business leaders and college and high school trailblazers who have accepted my challenge, discovered their ‘One Word' personal brand and are sharing it with the world in ways that are helping them Stand-out Conquer Obstacles and Reach Excellence, in other words, SCORE. Here are the 5 things you need to know about today's guest, Carson Sweezy: Number 1: Carson is a graduate of William & Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. Number 2: After battling Crohn's disease, along with his desire to learn holistically about food, Carson decided to spend some time living on a farm and in this episode, he shares how this experience changed his life. Number 3: In this episode, you'll experience first-hand how ‘One Word' literally transformed Carson from a rebel to a Founder. I always say that, “All it takes is ‘One Word' to SCORE! Number 4: Carson Sweezy (that's S-W-E-E-Z-Y) shares how “Operation Zero Debt” led to starting his own venture called Sweetz&Savoryz - with a “Z” - a line of sweet and savory creations that serve as the vehicle to establish authentic communities by connecting people through food and entertainment. AND Number 5: Carson's ‘One Word' Personal Brand…Take a listen to this episode to hear his answer. Let's meet Carson Sweezy.

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Cardinals Cover 2 - The Offensive Line From Inside Out

Cardinals Cover 2

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2021 44:47

Ep. 397 - Teams are always looking to improve, and offensive line coach/run game coordinator Sean Kugler made it clear on Thursday that the Cardinals need to improve the production they received at the center position. But how? Craig Grialou and Mike Jurecki offer some suggestions plus discuss the future of the entire right side of the line given that Week 1 starters J.R. Sweezy and Kelvin Beachum are both due to become unrestricted free agents. Also, what did Kugler have to say about his recent promotion?

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Miscarriage and Meaning: an Interview with Danielle Ireland - Danielle Ireland It was four or five different nurses came in one at a time and just held my hand and looked me in the eye and told me her story of loss was a miscarriage. And and I don't remember I don't remember their faces. I don't remember their names. But I just remember each each time it was like this wave of relief. And I'm still feeling it now talking about it like hearing I lost two and then I had to. I had to and I lost one and I had two more. I lost three and I had just. It was just a different expression of you're not alone. You're not alone, you're not alone. And I couldn't have been more grateful and I didn't know that I needed that at the time. I just had no idea how much I needed that. INTRO My guest today is Danielle Ireland. She is a speaker, actress, ballroom dancer, licensed therapist, recovering perfectionist, a wife and a soon-to-be-mother with her second child, a little girl. And we spend time in this episode talking about her work, her pregnancy, and the miscarriage of her first child, a son, who would have turned one at the close of 2020. Danielle shares on the importance of empathy, how partners can grieve differently, and why it really bugged her when people kept telling her, “I’m sorry”. Danielle and I began our time together reminiscing about the toys of our childhood. - Liesel Mertes We are both children of the 80s, what was one of your favorite toys from that era? - Danielle Ireland Oh, this is a great question. Oh, my gosh. One of my favorite toys from that era. Well. Let's see, I was really big into my little ponies and I was really big into Care Bears and Jem and the holograms and also Barbie, I had the my favorite Barbie. There were two that were my favorites. One was the nineteen fifties Barbie. So she had like the Lucille Ball, like hair cut and bangs and have like this like old school 50 styles, black and white bathing suit. - Danielle Ireland I just loved her. And then there was also gymnastics Barbie and yes. So she had like bending working joints so I could make her do backflips and front flips and she was flipping everywhere. But actually a funny story about my Barbies. I loved playing with them, but I hate addressing them because I didn't have the patience for all of the little snaps. But I really loved all the shoes. So Barbies were always naked in high heels. And so that was my mom said she got some fun looks with me holding my naked Barbies with her. As a Barbie-loving child, Danielle thought she might want to be a marine biologist. Then an archeologist. - Danielle Ireland And so it was either like swimming with dolphins every day, digging up dinosaur bones. And then of course, once I got the first full length movie I ever watched, this is all through. My mom's telling of it, I don't actually remember was Cinderella. And so but I remember when I started getting into live action movies and when I started to understand the concept of, oh, like, those people are pretending, especially when things were really intense, I would get nervous. - Danielle Ireland My parents are really good about explaining. You know, this is a make believe world. These are the characters in this world and this is what the performers do. And I was like, that's a job. And so I, I that's I think when my obsession with film and performance started and because I realized, oh, I can pretend to do all the things I want to do, I don't even have to pick one thing. And so that kind of got me on the, I think the performing arts track at the young age potentially. Danielle studied theater in college and then worked teaching dance. She auditioned in places like Chicago and Louisville and Cincinnati. - Danielle Ireland But it it felt like a gamble. And I'm not a gambler at heart. I think that that's a large part why that wasn't you. I think you have to have that willingness to accept the risk when you when you pursue a career like that. - Danielle Ireland And I never fully took the plunge, but yeah, I still got some paid acting work up until I was, I think, twenty nine. When Danielle started dating the man that is now her husband, she began to think about what she really wanted in life. - Danielle Ireland And it was the first time that I started to think about future, my future beyond what what instantly gratified me, like I the the nature of the in order to to be a dance instructor and performer and the way that I like to do it, you had to rehearse before and after your teaching hours and your teaching hours were from one to ten. - Danielle Ireland And so my whole world there was I mean, it was just I don't want to say small and that I wasn't enjoying it. And then I didn't love the people I was with. But it it was a very insular. She began to ask herself different questions: what are my values? What do I really care about? - Danielle Ireland looking back, I think I spent a lot of time hiding as a dance instructor because it fulfilled a lot of ego. It took a lot of those boxes like I was still performing. So I didn't feel like I was wasting my college degree in the performing arts. - Danielle Ireland And it was fun to tell people that's what I did. It was fun. It was fun to wear costumes like it filled it. It was fulfilling in some respects, but it didn't force me to ask myself deeper questions is kind of like living your life on a cruise ship. It's like it was like living in a party atmosphere, which was it served a purpose. - Danielle Ireland But it wasn't until I started asking those harder hitting questions that I realized that, oh, if this part of my life wasn't here, I would have a lot of serious gaps, like a lot of big gaping holes in my identity, my purpose, how fulfilled I really was. So she began to ask herself what environments felt best? And moved throughout a series of jobs. She worked at a cosmetics counter, selling organic skin care, then was a store manager for a fashion brand. Then there was a day spa. Each stop made her wonder if she would ever find a place to land and led her to want to work for herself, which she started to do as a beauty consultant and blogger, helping women find clothes and cosmetics. - Danielle Ireland But what I realized really quickly was that after working with a woman, maybe twice, she found her, matched her foundation and she knew how to curl her hair. She started talking to me about much more intimate things, like we've had three kids and my husband and I are having sex anymore. I have gained weight over the last few years and they just don't feel right in my skin like that. It was those moments that I started to feel what I call just like electricity. - Danielle Ireland It just was like tingling in my body. And it was it was it may have hit me all in one moment. It certainly would make for a better story if it did, I don't honestly remember, but I just felt so struck each time some woman would open up her heart to me, share some vulnerability with me and just expose something deeper and richer. And I just wanted to dive into that question with everything that I had. But I felt kind of stunted by what I felt like was a lack of of training. - Danielle Ireland And so I felt like I had to keep censoring myself with all this. Has been my experience with this or my opinion would be this, but I wanted to offer more with that type of conversation. - Danielle Ireland And that was really the first time that I thought, oh, is that is this what therapy is? This is what counseling is, because I hadn't even received therapy or counseling up until that point in my life. And so the year my husband and I got married, I decided I wanted to go to graduate school and pursue this. Danielle began graduate school in counseling. - Danielle Ireland And so that's started around thirty, thirty years old. - Liesel Mertes Yeah. And I met you like. Right as you were officially finishing up your degree. I think you. Just had a turning and a final paper. - Danielle Ireland That sounds right. Yeah, and what was that close at now that we're in pandemic time prior to it seems like a blur. - Liesel Mertes When did you finish up your degree? - Danielle Ireland So let me think. I graduated in May 2017. And I, I remember graduation was Mother's Day, so I think it was like, may I say something. But I remember graduation was on a Sunday and I began working in a private practice the very next day like I took no time off. I felt like once I understood and had a vision and what felt like not a track, but like a breadcrumb trail of, oh, this is going to get me where I want to be and I think I'm on the right path for myself. - Danielle Ireland And I felt that certainty and for the first time, probably who knows how long. I also felt and this is I think now insert the trigger for uprooting my anxiety and all my fears and self doubts and insecurities. - Danielle Ireland But it was I realized what I wanted to do at a time where I felt like, oh, my gosh, if I just wasted however many years trying to find this life, that's what I felt at the time. And so I attacked pursuing my degree and then jumping into work with such intensity because I felt like I was trying to catch up and and prove myself and also try to beat my biological clock because I you know, having children wasn't at the top of my mind at that time of my life, but I knew it was coming up in a couple of years. - Danielle Ireland It's funny being six months pregnant now. I have no idea how quickly that would how quickly those those things would come together. But I really felt like I was constantly racing the clock. And so when I met you. If it was right around the time I was finishing my degree, I, I felt like I was always trying to stay a couple of months ahead of where I really was. And yeah. So I that time feels like a blur to me too, because I think I was just living in my head for such a long time. - Liesel Mertes I am I have my own particular resonance within my own story of that. It's and I hear a little bit in you, but for me it was not even necessarily external voices telling me, like, you haven't achieved enough or you've wasted time or you need to be somewhere different. It was very much an inner voice that was just driving me of exactly. The anxious is the right sort of a word, like I thought I would have been somewhere different, but now I'm here. - Liesel Mertes But now I wish I was further along. And it's it's a mental game to be constantly churning within. - Danielle Ireland Oh, no, you're you're you're absolutely right, and you're you couldn't have I mean, because I could not have been more supported and encouraged by the people around me. There was no one in my life, no one in my corner looking over my shoulder saying, why didn't you figure this out sooner? Are you sure you shouldn't be further along? - Danielle Ireland That was one hundred thousand percent. My own internal critic and yeah, that that had chatter because I remember I remember the first day being an orientation for the graduate program and it was like it would pick new things to make me feel small about that voice, would pick new things to make me feel small about on a daily basis. But I remember the big one when I was in the program was I was probably one of two hundred and fifty graduate students in the program I was in. - Danielle Ireland I think 10 were over the age of twenty three that because they most people went directly from undergraduate school to graduate school. And so there were a handful of people like me who realized at some point later in their life that they wanted to go back to school. But I just felt so out of place. - Danielle Ireland And I remember this kind of orientation exercise where like, let's have everyone go around and say what your undergraduate degree was. And it was political science and social work, social work and psychology, sociology and psychology, family health and wellness and sociology. - Danielle Ireland And I was like theater. I just felt so oh God, I felt so out of place. - Liesel Mertes You also talked about, you know, the sense of like your biological clock and a built in and the sense of time horizons that also was at play when we first met. Would you tell me a little bit about your pregnancy that preceded this one? - Danielle Ireland Oh, of course. Of course. Yeah. So that was two years ago now, I think. Oh goodness. Yeah. So I have right around 2018, so about a year into my work at my first practice. My husband and I decided we wanted to start trying and trying to conceive a baby, and it's that that and I haven't revisited this in a while, but spending my entire adult sexual life trying to prevent pregnancy and then thinking that we're just going to lift the barrier and it's going to happen the first time, it even though logically I understood that, I think emotionally I thought, like, sure, we'll try it. - Danielle Ireland We'll have sex a couple of times, bing, bang, boom, we'll get pregnant. Easy peasy. And that just wasn't our journey. It took us about a year to get pregnant the first time. And I was about I was just like three days shy of entering my second trimester when I miscarried our first pregnancy. Our son and. Yeah, it was a crushing, crushing blow, and that's when Julie Kratz, I think was the one who suggested I meet with you and. - Danielle Ireland I'm so glad I did, but, yeah, we we met for coffee, and I didn't even know what we were going to meet about. I just I just said yes. Well, I'm really glad that I did. Yeah. - Liesel Mertes And I'm you know, even to hear you say that, I'm shocked that two months into your not two months into your second trimester, I mean, that's also like there's never an easy time to have a baby die. But that's also like you've you've spent, you know, a number of months at that point, like anticipating and thinking about it, not even to count, you know, the whole year of I imagine like you said, I think your term was easy peasy. Lemon, Sweezy, I'm thinking how did that year unfold prior to conceiving? And as I said, now it's just as the years go by and the more I get to hold stories of people with their journey towards building a family, the more I realize, like there's not just one on ramp and off ramp like people. - Liesel Mertes Stories are way more complex than we often get a chance to give voice to an emotional journey. - Liesel Mertes How did that year like how is that feeling for you in the midst of all of these new professional stresses as well? - Danielle Ireland Yeah, I was the first time in my life I was disappointed by my period, which was so strange because I have thought of I can remember more times in my life where I got my period and it was like, oh, thank God. You know, I guess we would kind of high five each other. Like, we're good, we're good. And it was such a different sensation. And I think that it. Over time, what I didn't realize was happening and I wasn't letting myself acknowledge that I was starting to feel disappointed by my body. - Danielle Ireland Each month I would get my period. I felt like I was letting us down and I was letting myself down and my body was letting me down in. What's interesting, even expressing it that way, is I have recently just been catching up with the girlfriend and I she asked me what my intention was for twenty, twenty one. And last year my intention was, was trust and just in everything, just how could I trust myself more deeply? How could I listen to myself more, how can I honor that that more. - Danielle Ireland But I think this year my word is pleasure because I think about my body and there's to kind of bring it back to this to the what you asked and my story a little bit. I think when I left dance and these other these other jobs that I did like once I stepped into. Kind of committing to graduate school. I didn't realize it, but I think I really splintered off from my body because I was so consumed with my mind and my own thoughts, like my anxiety, my fear, my insecurity became all consuming. - Danielle Ireland And I just I voted my body off the island and I lived in my head, which was so unlike what my experience has been basically performing and dance, it's a very kinetic it's a very connected mind body experience, and I lived in that world my entire life and I didn't know any different. And so I didn't even realize I wasn't self-aware enough to know, like, oh, what you're experiencing is anxiety or oh, what you're experiencing is depression, like in your depression is manifesting itself as anxiety. - Danielle Ireland I just didn't have the tools or the language or the any way of knowing that. And so with the miscarriage, the if it's. If I can be. Maybe bold enough to say it this way, I think the gift or the lesson. In. In light of that loss was that the pain was so acute and it was so it took such a hold of everything that it was the first time in however many years I'd been in that state where the head trash was gone, like the the chatter, like the silence. - Danielle Ireland And the grief was there was just there was silence in my head for the first time. And I just sat in the suck of all of that. And I don't know if I can't. No, that's not the case for me now, like the head trader, like it's returns, she's she's she's come back. So I didn't hold on to that forever, but I experienced it and I I felt like I recognized it. And I think that that helped me start to return to my body and return to myself. - Danielle Ireland And I just. Again, I'm really hesitant to say that I'm grateful because I don't want I don't mean in any way, so I'm grateful for the loss of that life, but I am grateful that I took a lesson from it that can inform my life forward, because otherwise, I think for me, if if there wasn't some meaning in it, it would have just felt like a terrible, awful, awful. Indescribable waste and giving that experience some purpose is helpful for me and my healing, but I just if anyone's listening that's going through an experience like that, I in no way, I don't think that's necessary or required. - Danielle Ireland It just that was what was helpful for me. - Danielle Ireland But as far as the conception journey leading up to that, I was so focused on my plan and my timeline that sex wasn't as fun. Yeah, it was more pressured. I know that my husband felt that, too, in his own ways. - Danielle Ireland And and it was hard. I was playing the comparison game a lot. It was really hard to not compare myself to friends who got pregnant by surprise or friends who said, yeah, I just tracked my period on an app for a couple of months and it happened on month three, like each month that ticked by that it wasn't happening. - Danielle Ireland I was feeling more and more lost and I ended up finding out that I was pregnant after I had scheduled an appointment to meet a fertility specialist. We were going to schedule a time to do some blood work. And my period was late. And I was I was already, I think, two weeks pregnant when I went to. MUSICAL TRANSITION We will return to Danielle’s story in a moment. I want to let you know about one of our sponsors, Handle with Care Consulting. 2021 meets us with new challenges. A new administration, the same epidemic, the same division, and the relentless winter. Maintaining mental health is challenging and it is hard to keep people engaged. Let Handle with Care help. With keynotes, certificate programs, and executive coaching options, our empathy training will help you create a culture of caring where people survive, stabilize, and thrive. MUSICAL TRANSITION - Liesel Mertes Again, as we noted, miscarriage, it's actually way more common than our public discourse would indicate, where the assumption is that, you know, every pregnancy is a healthy baby. And, you know, as soon as you get that test, you should start decorating the nursery and plan, which I think can oftentimes mean for people that go through miscarriage is that you end up giving the news to lots of people who have no idea like what do or say? - Liesel Mertes What were some of like the most tone deaf or hard responses that you absorbed after a miscarriage? - Danielle Ireland Yeah, what a great question. Well, I'll say that. I think part of the reason why I'm so open and willing to talk about this in general is that I was given the again, I don't even know if this is the right language for what this experience was, but I can't think of a different way to describe it. So the experience my husband and I had at the emergency room because I ended up delivering my son at home and we took him with us to the emergency room because I was hemorrhaging pretty bad and it was just really physically taxing experience. - Danielle Ireland And I think I probably also went into shock and just lots of those things. But I remember I'll just I'll never forget the grace and the kindness and the warmth and also, I mean, it's bringing tears to my eyes, thinking about it, too, because had this happen during COVID having to be there by myself, I just can't imagine. I thought about that when I thought about women who undoubtedly have experienced this during shutdown and have had to be separated during that time because my husband was with me every second and laid in the bed with me most of the time, but. - Danielle Ireland But the the hospital staff, in particular, the nurses that were working on that shift because it was around three o'clock in the morning, so it was third shift. Oh, my God, these women were like angels on Earth. And we were probably in the hospital, I think somewhere between seven and nine hours. And as I said, it was probably when there was like a shift change going on. I don't know when it was exactly, but it was towards the end of our stay, about four I can't remember. - Danielle Ireland It was four or five different nurses came in one at a time and just held my hand and looked me in the eye and told me her story of loss was a miscarriage. And and I don't remember I don't remember their faces. I don't remember their names. But I just remember each each time it was like this wave of relief. And I'm still feeling it now talking about it like hearing I lost two and then I had to. I had to and I lost one and I had two more. - Danielle Ireland I lost three and I had just. It was just a different expression of you're not alone. You're not alone, you're not alone. And I couldn't have been more grateful and I didn't know that I needed that at the time. I just had no idea how much I needed that. - Danielle Ireland But the gift of that experience for me. It just made it so clear that for me, my healing would it it didn't require silence that you really needed to come through my expression of that. - Danielle Ireland And so. And thankfully, thankfully, I didn't keep the news of finding out I was pregnant to myself, but my husband and I, we were told we were preparing to do like a photo shoot with the sonogram and we were going to do a gender reveal. We were in that planning stage. And so thankfully, and I know that this is such a personal thing for everyone to handle in their own way, but I'm grateful that I. That because people understood the joy and the excitement. - Danielle Ireland And the pregnancy, I didn't have to explain as much about the pain of loss. I didn't feel like I needed to play catch up with two different conversations at the same time. - Danielle Ireland And so when we got pregnant this current time, we got pregnant a second time. I remember my husband initially felt very differently than I did. I wanted to tell everybody, not announce it on social media, obviously, but I wanted to let all of our friends and family know because for me it was like, I need them to know that I'm in this experience because I just it's what I need to feel safe and secure. - Danielle Ireland And he he wasn't so sure. He was like, well, but what if what if we experienced the same thing again? And I just. My my perspective on it was that. Keeping my joy, like, stifled or trying to cut my joy back wouldn't prevent or protect me from the loss if it happened. So I needed to let myself fully feel the joy because. That was the only way forward from for me. And so he you know, but I also wanted to honor and respect his needs. - Danielle Ireland And so we started telling a few people at a time, a little at a time. But I would probably say for him, his stress level probably really didn't go down until the 20 week ultrasound. Yeah, he probably didn't feel I would say he didn't feel that confident until then, but. But yeah. - Liesel Mertes Well, and what you say there highlights something that is resonant with my own experience, which is that grief is such a profoundly isolating journey, like two people's two people's grief, even if they're even if it's like you and your partner and you both lost a child, can just manifest itself so differently in different moments. And those those conversations can feel hard when when both people are saying, like, I need or I want something different in the midst of that. - Danielle Ireland Well, and I don't even know if I can give us full credit for that. We we scheduled a session with so we have a therapist that we see individually, but have also seen maybe three or four times and four couples work and we just can't see eye to eye. And we scheduled an appointment the week. That following week after it happened, I don't remember the exact timeline, and it wasn't because there was a rift between us, but we both just we just somehow knew and or felt like we needed to check in with Brian. - Danielle Ireland And he said something that I am so grateful for. How can you give each other the permission to to need to walk through your grief differently,? And I didn't fully understand what that meant, but that, putting that conversation at our minds, like how can because, for example, I could handle one social interaction a day. So what would happen? So the first maybe eight days after it happened, I have one friend at a time. I don't remember managing it either. - Danielle Ireland It just seemed to happen that way. But like one girlfriend would reach out and she would want to come over and she'd either bring food or wine or whatever, and we would just sit around and talk or she would listen for a couple of hours. And that was it. That was all the energy I had. - Danielle Ireland And at the time, we had two weddings coming up. I think one was the weekend after it happened and another was the following weekend. And I needed to really withdraw and kind of cocoon up. - Danielle Ireland And my husband, he's actually more of an extrovert than I am. And and so. We were able to, I think, process in a healthier way with that supportive of our therapy session and also looking at what does it really mean for me to need to be by myself or to not want to show up at a wedding and not I couldn't I just couldn't handle the stimulation of being around people. - Danielle Ireland And I didn't want to see their faces and I didn't want to see the like. So I don't want to handle I just couldn't handle that. But I think my husband needed to be out and about and needed to be with people. But he was caught between not wanting to feel like he was abandoning me. Right. Or wanting to honor himself. And I was caught between not wanting to put him in a position where he felt trapped, but also needing to honor my own needs. - Danielle Ireland But I don't know if we would have had the language for that. Without, I think, the support of our therapist at the time and - Liesel Mertes And so what ended up happening? - Danielle Ireland You know, was that like. I couldn't commit I basically I just wasn't willing to commit to any plans until moments before because I was like the waves can hit at different moments and they're like, I may I suck. I just don't know how I'm going to feel. And so I went to one of the wedding receptions and I stayed until they served cake. - Danielle Ireland And then I was done and and it was OK, like we were we were able to to get through it. And I think that that lesson has been such a. It's really helped, I think, just transform the way we support one another and how we're able to hold space for the fact that our needs are different, which is so much easier said than done. But when when you're when you're knee deep in grief, it's it's hard not to want to hold other people responsible for your pain. - Danielle Ireland But in truth, I think what we both realized is like. It's a shared experience and we're supporting each other, but even in that we're not responsible for each other, which is. It's hard, but it was it was really helpful. And I find sometimes hand-in-hand with that is. - Liesel Mertes I don't know, there's kind of the romantic myth that your partner should be able to fulfill, like physical, emotional self actualization needs, which is, you know, kind of a bogus premise, even when things are completely stable, let alone when you're both deeply compromised. - Liesel Mertes And to be able to say, like I can, I can give you something and I don't want to pull back entirely. But really, like I, I find in my own story and in those that I've worked with, like you, you need people outside of your partner to be able to kind of hold some of that emotional ballast because it's a big ask, you know, to say to the other person, like, please be my everything in this time where so many important aspects of my world seem really unstable. - Danielle Ireland And it's just you're asking someone to fulfill an order that they just can't. It's kind of like emotional arrest. It's I want you to be responsible for fulfilling all of my sexual needs and fantasies. Know what I know what my needs are and something that I hear a lot in sessions and I'm sure with couples and I'm sure has come out of my mouth, too. But that sense of well, you know, I've told you this before or you know this about me. - Danielle Ireland So that that idea that like if I've told you something about myself once, you're now forever held accountable to not disappointing me in that way. And that's I think that's a really that's a fine line. And it's a tricky space because I think. And this is, I think, a big part of my own journey for the last couple of years, like I'm still in, I'm not far enough away from it to feel like I've got a really clear grasp on this. - Danielle Ireland But where when I become more when I take more ownership for my own experiences, my just the experiences of my life and the less accountable I make David to that happiness. It's more like I feel more of a freedom in a permission, like we're bearing witness to each other's lives and we're. Which is really what I think I want more than anything is to feel seen and heard, which is what validation really means. MUSICAL TRANSITION - Liesel Mertes As you think about your journey with miscarriage, what do you wish if you could just, like, plant a knowingness in like the general consciousness? What do you wish that people knew about the pain of. Yeah, and, you know, it sounds like very visceral and embodied your particular manifestation of miscarriage. - Liesel Mertes What would you say, gosh, what would I want someone to know? - Danielle Ireland Oh, when I realized I never answered the question of my tone deaf comments, but I would say. And I don't and you could probably navigate the how how this would actually look in action better than I can, because this is more, I think, your expertise. - Danielle Ireland But I would say that one of the things I felt. Often, which is probably why we're so selective of who I chose to see in those early stages was that I had to manage the other person's pain on my back. And so I went from it. So but I think thankfully, I either was self aware enough at the time or understood enough about that through other experiences of grief or my training, like I was able to kind of maybe shield myself a little bit. - Danielle Ireland But there were a handful of times even with close family. Where I felt like I had to continue to nurture them through their disappointment in my loss. And so it was more so than any one particular comment, - Danielle Ireland I think the one I probably heard a lot was, which makes sense. I mean, it would be very instinctive, which is like, I'm so sorry. But it was it was that was a tough one for me to receive because they they did nothing wrong. - Danielle Ireland And so I think there could be a difference between. I'm so sorry that this is your experience. I'm so sorry that this is what you and David are going through. I'm so sorry that you're in this pain. But I think what it felt like people were apologizing to me a lot and. That's. That was. Tricky and I think also probably the most tone deaf, which in the grand scheme of things really wasn't that bad. - Danielle Ireland But I remember my general practitioner saw her for a physical maybe six months after it happened. - Danielle Ireland I don't remember exactly. And she, having never been pregnant herself, in her own words, she she was very matter of fact, I think probably from like she's an expert in the body, therefore an expert in what happened with my body. But she said. You know, because I actually never blamed myself for the miscarriage, I'm grateful for that that wasn't that wasn't a manifestation of that particular grief for me. I didn't I didn't think that I had done anything wrong. - Danielle Ireland I mean, I felt like my body had let me down, but I didn't think like, oh, I shouldn't have jumped up and down that hard or I shouldn't have. I didn't I didn't, thankfully, have that part of it. But she said, you know what, I'm sure this is so tough, Danielle. And I'm sure no matter what I say, you're going to blame yourself anyway. But I just need you to know it's not your fault. - Danielle Ireland And it was just so I felt so brash and I felt like she was speaking on an assumption of what my experience was rather than ask me about it now. And that I remember kind of ruffled my feathers and rubs me the wrong way. But but thankfully, I don't think I experienced too too much in the other way. Yeah. I don't remember feeling disappointed by people very often, thankfully. - Liesel Mertes What has do you feel like there has been or what has been the carryover into this next pregnancy as you are now six months long? Have you? You know, it's you can't you can only live your own experience like you can't imagine, like, well, what would have been like to have a second pregnancy without that. But can you pull a thread through to say it has felt different because of this? - Danielle Ireland Oh, it has to. Without, without a doubt, I, I remember in the first couple of days, it may have been the second day after the miscarriage. - Danielle Ireland I remember thinking how remembering how caught up I was in my body changing and the bloating and my belly and my swollen boobs and like all of this, all of the stuff. And I remember sitting outside with a friend feeling just empty and saying I. God, just in a day like I would trade all of that for all of that discomfort, I would take it all back like I want all of that back. And but I couldn't have known I couldn't have known that without the loss. - Danielle Ireland Like, I. I don't know. And it's not to blame my myself prior to that miscarriage, because that was what I was experiencing at the time and that was what was true for me at the time. But I was. I think I was. Feeling caught up in the physical changes and feeling like home less attractive and this and this and then the loss just kind of snapped my focus after my priorities back. - Danielle Ireland And to be perfectly honest, I don't think I even knew how much I wanted to be a mother until I lost my first baby. - Danielle Ireland And not to say that I wouldn't. Love that boy, if he were here, has his first birthday would have been on December twenty third, so assuming he would have been born on his due date, but. I I've walked through the experiences of this pregnancy, still feeling them, I still have my moments where I've complained. It's not to say this is I don't I don't want to say like I have been an angel in this whole pregnancy. - Danielle Ireland It's been like a gift from the mother. And I was like, no, no, no. Like, I've still had plenty of, like, moments to kvetch and and and wine. But this ring of appreciation and this sort of Tuzer were like this thread that's pulled through is just massive, massive amounts of gratitude. - Danielle Ireland Like I can feel her kick right now. Every time I feel her move, it's just so exciting. And I know I have no doubt that being able to see her and hold her and touch her and smell her will be enriched because of what was informed from from the first experience. - Danielle Ireland Like, I think I was so focused on how my life was changing, what it might cost me and what I might be losing, that actually the whole experience, losing the whole experience, like losing the whole pregnancy, it just flipped the priorities. - Danielle Ireland And like this pregnancy because I didn't slow down. I didn't slow down on my production. My like the amount of clients I was scheduling, my expectations for myself. I didn't stop to rest. I just felt like I had to keep trucking along like life was normal. - Danielle Ireland And and so I needed to keep producing and doing and doing all the things I'm like I'm just going to do, like with a baby. It's no big deal. Like that's why they have baby born until just like the baby on and you get right back to life. And I think again, it was that old anxiety of I can't slow down, I can't stop because it'll all slip away. - Danielle Ireland But this this first trimester actually was a lot more uncomfortable than the first pregnancy. I was a lot more sick. What we're tired and knowing what I knew from before it was, I just gave myself a lot more grace, took a lot more naps, I reduced my my client schedule. I had breaks between clients, which I never did before. It was just I would just kind of knock out client, client, client, client, maybe get a little bit of time to eat client, client and then onto the next thing. - Danielle Ireland And I scaled way, way back. And what's incredible, too, I mean, my little daughter has already been such a powerful teacher for me and she's not even born yet. - Danielle Ireland But I've actually been able to do more by pushing less in specifically in my professional career. Like this has been a really, really remarkable year for me professionally in terms of what I've been able to put out and I've cut. At least my expectations and my schedule way, way back, way, way back. - Liesel Mertes Danielle, thank you for sharing so many aspects of that wisdom. I also want to be cognizant of your time. Is there anything else that you would really like to share that I didn't ask a question that led you into? Danielle Ireland Such a good question, I'm going to borrow some of these questions in my office because they're so good. Gosh, no, I can't think I can't think of anything. Other than. - Danielle Ireland I'm grateful to have this time to get to share with you and and your listeners and the people that you connect your material with. - Danielle Ireland And I'm just incredibly grateful that I was introduced to you at a time where I didn't even realize how much I needed to know you. - Liesel Mertes Yeah, I am so glad to continue to watch both of our paths unfurl and I celebrate this new little one, I celebrate not only the birthing of a physical child, but you did. You gave birth to lots of things and initiatives in a pretty barren year. That is 2020. - Liesel Mertes So if people want to know more about you and your work, is your website the best place to go? - Danielle Ireland Yes. So danielleireland.com will show links to a guided journal called Treasured that I created this year. I'm also leading a workshop called the Unleashing New Relationship Workshop. And the link to participate or learn more about that is there. And then there's more information about me and blog content and my social media links are all housed there. So that's a nice, easy space for people. Or my podcast, if they want to read more. MUSICIAL TRANSITION Here are three helpful takeaways from my conversation with Danielle: There is power in sharing your story of loss.Miscarriage is often a private burden, unseen to a wider world unless the parent chooses to share. Danielle shared how meaningful it was to have multiple nurses come up to her in the recovery room to share that they too had lost a child in miscarriage. They spoke words of hope and camaraderie to her in the midst of a very dark time…and gave her confidence to know that her healing journey did not have to be silent. Partners grieve differently.As her therapist asked her, “Can you allow your partner to experience grief differently than you?” What does it look like to give the other person space and allowance? This is deeply resonant with my own experience of walking with my husband through our seasons of parental loss. “I’m sorry” can sometimes sound redundant or abstract to a person suffering.I often tell people that saying “I’m sorry that is happening to you” can be a really good go-to phrase, but this take-away is a good reminder that there is no one-size fits all approach to comfort. For Danielle, the “I’m sorry” felt hollow. Which brings me to the point 3b. Pay attention to the person you are communicating with. If they seem like they aren’t responding to your phrase, whether it is “I’m sorry” or something else, file that information away and try something different the next time you interact with them, like “I was thinking of you and how hard this must be.” The best comforters are those that pay attention and are consistently adapting to the person in front of them. OUTRO You can learn more about Danielle at https://danielleireland.com/

5: Tate Rudisill & Jayson Sweezy

Coffee n' Creme

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2020 46:05

Talking about Thanksgiving, food, and seeing who knows each other better than the other. Hope you enjoy! Subscribe to our youtube channel: Coffee n' Creme (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUOB6SF2nwPmc_VfB7leURg/featured) Follow us on Instagram: @cncpod (https://www.instagram.com/cncpod/)

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Finding motivation & discovering your passion (ft. TrapZeke and Jay Sweezy)

Dumb Dude Debrief

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2020 48:51

!! Please rate, review and like Tae's Talkshow on all platforms !! Their Songs: https://open.spotify.com/track/3N3rDJ0JqEYJjGgPykbMei?si=kkUdPfLkTCqd1SLdMKxfsA https://open.spotify.com/album/55zrbo7iC2qVGpBJr7VooL?si=VY8BXDPdSYGpODb1SUBTXQ Ratethispodcast.com/tae On this episode I interviewed Jay Sweezy and Trapzeke about their newly started rap careers. *Disclaimer: This podcast is for entertainment purposes only* Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3LdvP-ZxCQYsm24iy7xGHA?view_as=subscriber Instagram: https://instagram.com/taespencertanzi?igshid=1kdcrb27qxvgc Twitter: https://twitter.com/TaeSpencerTanzi

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The Art of Building Character - Part 1

Parents, Priests and Generals - A Guide for How to Change the World for Good

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2020 7:32

“Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy.” Norman Schwarzkopf, US Army General (Ret.) led Desert Storm The one characteristic of the greatest teams is so uncommon that few even consider it. This may be because none of us really knows how to engineer it. When Seattle Seahawks lineman, J.R. Sweezy takes beating after beating for 60 minutes at a time, day after day, breaking bones and tearing cartilage, it isn’t just for the money and the fame; it’s because he actually cares about running back Marshawn Lynch. He takes the abuse so Lynch doesn’t have to. As popularized in the movie, Lone Survivor, Medal of Honor winner, Lieutenant Michael Murphy of Seal Team 10, having already been wounded multiple times, purposely ran headlong into direct enemy fire in order to reach high ground where he could call for help for his friends. He completed that call, but was shot again through the chest and back and died. In his research into great companies, Jim Collins, of Good to Great fame, outlines an Aristotelian view of the most effective leaders as “ambitious first and foremost for the cause, the organization, the mission, the nation, the work – not themselves…” It is this virtue of putting others ahead of oneself that makes the greatest leaders and the greatest teams. parentspriestsgenerals.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dano-jukanovich/support

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J-Sweezy! Esports Debate, Dating Age Gap, We are Recruits.

Roventini Rant

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2020 44:29

Justin joins me to discuss about how we would be NFL prospect and how we would handle being recruited. Are gamers athletes? How is it to date someone 4 years younger?

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Spiritual Renewal: Part I

Means of Grace

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2020 53:38

In this two-part episode, we talk with clergy and laity in Western North Carolina about the importance of taking time to “stay in love with God.” Each one shares a particular spiritual practice or renewal opportunity that helps them stay connected and grow in a deeper relationship with Jesus. We hope that you will be inspired to make your own renewal and practices a priority. Episode 1: Rev. Angela Pleasants, Caroline Wood, Rev. Kate May, Rev. Noel Sweezy For more information art and spiritual direction from our conversation with Caroline Wood, contact Katie Warren katieswarren@charter.net For her personal retreats, Kate May stays at Well of Mercy. The Icon Noel Sweezy mentioned is the Sinai Pantocrator. If you would like to stay at the Sweezy cabin in Shelby for Solitude contact Noel at nsweezy@wnccumc.net. It's free, but has an outhouse.

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095: On the Give

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Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2020 77:18

While Luke's away, Tim and Michael give a play by play of sports since our last episode. We cover the Sydney test, the upcoming ODIs, baggy green etiquette, the Brisbane heat (the finching and unfinching thereof) the NFL Playoffs, NBA Trade talk, and of course The Sweezy's for this week in sport.

084: Brown

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2019 115:11

Ashes news! Rugby League! American Sports! Another surprising "stump the boys" quiz! And Supercoach, NRL Tipping updates, and all our regular segments like the NRL Tipping update, the Sweezy's, and the supercoach news.

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Episode 26: There's A Mole In The House (Feat Dope The Phenom)

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2019 40:34

Follow @The_Venture_boyz IG @Anthonytazz IG/Twitter @sweezy_peezy IG @Foreva252 Twitter Venture Season Vol.1 Out Now on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/dopethephenom/sets/venture-season-vol-1 Check out the brand new series: NFC BEAST with Tazz and Sweezy https://www.youtube.com/user/kevEZE74 --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/VentureSeasonPodcast/support

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Episode 25: TMZ..FEDS..Same thing? (Feat Dope The Phenom)

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2019 75:46

Follow @The_Venture_boyz IG @Anthonytazz IG/Twitter @sweezy_peezy IG @Foreva252 Twitter Venture Season Vol.1 Out Now on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/dopethephenom/sets/venture-season-vol-1 Check out the brand new series: NFC BEAST with Tazz and Sweezy https://www.youtube.com/user/kevEZE74 "Gang Talk" by KevEze https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc_iCw3tobY --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/VentureSeasonPodcast/support

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Episode 24: unLUCKy Hurricane

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Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2019 58:17

Follow @The_Venture_boyz IG @Anthonytazz IG/Twitter @sweezy_peezy IG @Foreva252 Twitter Venture Season Vol.1 Out Now on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/dopethephenom/sets/venture-season-vol-1 Check out the brand new series: NFC BEAST with Tazz and Sweezy https://www.youtube.com/user/kevEZE74 Song"Wavelength"Tazz ZoundzDamage Control coming soon --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/VentureSeasonPodcast/support

117. Dr. Kristine Sweezy: From Personal Trainer to Physical Therapist

Pre-PT Grind

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2019 41:27

On this episode of the Pre-PT Grind podcast, we are joined by Dr. Kristine Sweezy. Kristine is a new-grad PT and is also a part of Greg Todd's network of Smart Success Physical Therapists. During our interview, we talk about her background in personal training, her experience through undergrad and PT school, her network of PTs, and how her experiences and passion have given her purpose and clarity as a new-grad PT. Enjoy! If you have any questions, please contact us at contactpreptgrind.com. Follow Kristine on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/bridgethegap_dpt/ Send us your question in a voice message! https://anchor.fm/pre-pt-grind/message Follow us on Anchor! https://anchor.fm/pre-pt-grind Find us at www.preptgrind.com and enjoy this episode of the Pre-PT Grind Podcast!

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Episode 23: Hov-er and Out

soundcloud out now tazz sweezy

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2019 59:14

Follow @The_Venture_boyz IG @Anthonytazz IG/Twitter @sweezy_peezy IG @Foreva252 Twitter Venture Season Vol.1 Out Now on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/dopethephenom/sets/venture-season-vol-1 Check out the brand new series: NFC BEAST with Tazz and Sweezy https://www.youtube.com/user/kevEZE74 Song"Wavelength"Tazz ZoundzDamage Control coming soon --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/VentureSeasonPodcast/support

Interview with Tom Sweezy from MLS Aces Podcast

Bros Talking Soccer

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2019 44:27

We interview Tom Sweezy from the MLS Aces podcast. We discuss how the MLS Aces podcast got started, some of the cool content they've created recently, their plans for the future, and more. Find MLS Aces on: -Website: https://www.mlsaces.com/ -Twitter: https://twitter.com/MLSAces -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mls_aces/ Visit the Bros Talking Soccer website: https://www.brostalkingsoccer.com/

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9.13 Tim Time

warriors juice james harden rip vodka groove back khris middleton sweezy

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2019 45:56

Tim gives a mammoth solo episode effort and covers the Cricket, the Football, NBA, Rugby, Tim's fixes for the Origin series, Boxing, the French Open, the NRL tips, and the Sweezy's!

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Episode 3: Groove Back to Boston

Weird Celtics Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2019 58:12

Craig, Billy, Juice, and newcomer Sweezy @swarbleflop erase game 2 from the recordbooks. Let's discuss more important things. - game 2 recap, Khris Middleton sucks! - Shoutout D'Angelo Russell, stay off the weeeeeduh - Harden is annoying, Warriors are annoying, refs are annoying... - Vodka in a seltzer can - Which Boston celeb fan will step up? (A: none, our athletes are better fans too) - DEBUT: Weird Celtics Trivia! - RIP to annoying Bucksman - Smarf killed the Night King --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/weird-celtics-podcast/message

2019 Free Agency, Seahawks address needs at linebacker, guard and kicker

Field Gulls: for Seattle Seahawks fans

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2019 66:04

Just a few days into free agency and the Seahawks have addressed two major areas of need with the offensive line and their kicker. Seattle has signed D.J. Fluker to a two year deal and brought in former Cardinals and 49ers guard Mike Iupati to fill in behind J.R. Sweezy who left for Arizona. Adam Emmert and Brandan Schulze discuss how losing Sweezy means Seattle misses an opportunity to maintain continuity on the line, but the team philosophy remains in place to have an offensive line particularly skilled at run blocking. On special teams, they bring back Jason Myers, who lost out on the job in the 2018 preseason. Now he's signed to a four-year deal with the Seahawks. What is the need Seattle should focus on now that the initial wave of free agents have been signed. The Seahawks could still use another pass rusher whether they look to fill that spot through free agency or the draft. Their top player at that position went have sounding satisfied to play under the franchise tag a week ago, to a player who reportedly will hold out if a new contract isn't in place by training camp. With the departure of Earl Thomas, there have now been a few Pro Bowl caliber players to leave the team with very little to show for it. Should it bother Seahawks fans that these players are leaving at the end of their contracts rather than being traded the season before so they can get more immediate value in the draft rather than waiting for potential compensatory picks? Looking around the division, one team particularly active in free agency is the San Francisco 49ers. The guys take a look at some of their biggest moves and talk about where they might have some concerns in terms of cap space as they look down the road. The final segment of the show looks at what Area 29 meant to the Seahawks and even though his final moments in uniform will go down in infamy, it's still possible fans will see that number up in the rafters at CenturyLink in the future. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Cardinals Cover 2 – Filling Needs

Arizona Cardinals Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2019 53:01

On this special edition of Cardinals Cover 2, ILB Jordan Hicks and guard J.R. Sweezy are introduced to the media. Hicks also sits down with Craig Grialou and Mike Jurecki for his first official interview as a member of the Arizona Cardinals.

cardinals filling arizona cardinals hicks sweezy

Episode 30 - Sin City J-Ham, a Tone-Deaf Pac 12 Commish, NFL Frenzy & Return of Mitch's NCAA Coaches' Interviews

Dave 'Softy' Mahler and Dick Fain

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2019 110:57

J-Ham takes a break from Vegas debauchery to co-host Episode 30 with Mitch. Among the discussions: a tone-deaf Pac 12 commissioner, the college admission national scandal, the NFL free agency/trading frenzy PLUS Mitch brings to the podcast his popular NCAA Tournament coaches interview series with 3 fascinating stories/guests. But wait, there's more: - J-Ham reveals his excruciating pain while making Episode 29 - Mitch ties his son's ongoing college selection process to the national admission scandal - Mitch Unfiltered listeners are split about naming Ep 29 after Earl Thomas - Mitch's "Unfiltered Madness" bracket contest is filling up with great prizes - Mitch & J-Ham rank their favorite local and national golf courses - Is it possible that the Cleveland Browns are now the NFL's most interesting team? - If Nick Foles is worth $22M per season before gambling dollars infiltrate NFL, how much is Russell Wilson worth after? - How will the Dawgs do at the Pac-12 Tourney in Vegas? - Listener tweets/email

Softy and Dick H2 - J. R. Sweezy reportedly signing with Arizona / Jon Wilner on Pac-12 scandals / Textimonials

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2019 39:14

We knew we were losing Justin Coleman and Mike Davis to free agency. Now, reportedly J. R. Swezy will be headed to the Cardinals. Last year felt like the Seahawks offensive line took a big step forward, and Sweezy was a part of that, but they've still got a decent core to build around. Scandals just keep popping up in the Pac-12, between the bribery scandal, and Larry Scott's $7,500-a-night hotel room in Vegas. We get Jon Wilner's take on all of that, plus his expectations for the Pac-12 Tournament, and how many teams from the conference will hear their names called on Selection Sunday? Textimonials react to the first two hours of the show at 49451.

March 12, 2019 - Hour 1

Seattle Sports at Night

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2019 46:09

Where will the Seahawks turn to now with JR Sweezy heading to Arizona? Are the Browns now an AFC contender after acquiring Odell Beckham? Curtis Rogers and Stacy Rost unpack it all in Tuesday night's Timeline. Also in the first hour, does Sweezy's departure increase the pressure on the Seahawks to re-sign DJ Fluker? In Four Down Territory, which departed Seahawk will be missed the most in 2019?

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Softy and Dick H2 - J. R. Sweezy reportedly signing with Arizona / Jon Wilner on Pac-12 scandals / Textimonials

Dave 'Softy' Mahler and Dick Fain

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2019 39:14

Episode 27 - Stop The KJR Hating, Time To Tag Frank, Dawgs Drop, & Mitch's Mom Wins Lottery

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2019 112:23

Mitch & J-Ham check a lot off the list. - KJR/Gregg Bell controversy - J-Ham's wife Michelle's podcast future - Mitch & J-Ham's favorite golf courses - Bryce Harper's gaudy contract - What's Mike Trout worth? - Huskies seeding suffers in Bay Area - GUEST: Joel Corry (CBSSports.com) on Hawks cap, Clark, Wilson etc - GUEST: Dave Ommen (Bracketville) on Dawgs fall, Zags, Seedings - Mitch's mom wins the lottery... or does she?

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Episode 26 - J-Ham's Wife Speaks (& Has Plenty To Say)

Sea Hawkers Podcast for Seattle Seahawks fans

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2019 86:03

Jason D Hamilton's wife Michelle makes her "Mitch Unfiltered" debut to respond to her husband's delivery of the Benson Hotel flooding controversy. Plus John Schneider's state of the Seahawks address at the NFL Combine, Mitch sticks his neck out on Huskies' NCAA seed, and discusses the possibility (or lack thereof) of KJR personalities visiting "Mitch Unfiltered". 14:35 Mitch offer to unblock Twitter accounts 17:35 Episode 26 -- Wade Boggs or Rod Woodson 27:12 Mitch has former Sonics owner Barry Ackerley to thank for his KJR job 33:33 J-Ham calls Mitch a "chore" and blasts him for his texting technique 38:30 Mitch goes out on an NCAA limb about Huskies seeding 48:40 John Schneider talks at NFL Combine; Mitch/J-Ham react 58:30 Will Hugh Millen (or other KJR personalities) be on podcast 59:45 Russell Westbrook complains about kid touching him 1:07:50 GUEST J-Ham's wife Michelle gives her side to The Benson Hotel flooding fiasco

239: NFL Combine preview with Rob Staton, Seahawks Draft Blog

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2019 110:11

The 2019 NFL Combine is being held in Indianapolis this week, February 26 – March 4, 2019, with televised drills beginning on Friday. Rob Staton, of Seahawks Draft Blog, joins the show to talk about how the range of options for Seattle could be very diverse this year. Considering Russell Wilson's contract situation and Seattle's need to fill the backup role, he doesn't believe drafting a quarterback is off the table (12:18). Brandan and Rob talk about how well New England has done at drafting backups and turning many of those players into assets for players or more draft picks. Depending on what happens with D.J. Fluker and J.R. Sweezy, Seattle could be in desperate need for additional offensive lineman. Rob talks about his formula for measuring an offensive lineman's explosiveness and how it used to be a marker for lineman the Seahawks would consider drafting (20:03). The Seahawks appear to be set at running back, but it's also interesting to point out that Seattle definitely has a type when it comes to who they want to select in the draft (32:17). Seattle has three tight ends in Ed Dickson, Nick Vannett and Will Dissly, but could some uncertainty lead them to draft another tight end? Rob talks about one tight end who would provide outstanding value if he slides down the board in the first round (39:20). Wide receiver is another spot that Seattle could be looking to add to from the draft. It's a spot they have usually selected at least a player per year. It's also a position with one key stat to look for at the combine -- speed (44:19). Technique is also a critical component to success for receivers in the NFL, Rob talks about what he watches for in receiver drills to judge how well a player catches passes (51:56). The Seahawks find themselves in need of a kicker again this offseason. Are there any of them worth considering in the draft this year (54:40). The talent on the defensive line is strong this season. Rob talks about how watching defensive line drills are among his favorite to watch and who we should be watching (58:47). When the Seahawks have looked for edge rushers in the past, they have gone after players with a 10-yard split around 1.5 seconds. Linebacker could be another key position to watch depending on what happens in free agency, and Rob offers thoughts on players on the strong and weak-side spots (1:10:21). Getting into the defensive backs, it seems like everyone throughout the NFL knows what a Seahawks-style corner looks like. But could their thinking shift toward filling behind Justin Coleman, as a player who breaks the mold for the body type they've looked at in the past (1:26:19). Seattle has depth at safety, but Rob talks about the notion if they truly need a star to come in behind Earl Thomas at that spot (1:31:51). Having someone with speed like Thomas has been very helpful, but the combination of speed and ability have been very elusive throughout the NFL. Follow Rob Staton's work at seahawksdraftblog.com and on Twitter @robstaton. Expect to hear more audio with Rob as we get into the combine this weekend! Subscribe via: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher | TuneIn | RSS Follow us on: Facebook | Twitter Or listen on our free app for Android, iOS, Kindle or Windows Phone/PC Call or text: 253-235-9041 Email: gohawks@seahawkerspodcast.com Support the show Get in the Flock! Visit GetInTheFlock.com and get bonus episodes Or visit our website for other ways to support the show Find Sea Hawkers clubs around the world at SeaHawkers.org Music from the show by The 12 Train, download each track at ReverbNation

Russell Wilson is the latest offseason trade target, free agent upgrades for the Seahawks

Field Gulls: for Seattle Seahawks fans

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2019 85:35

For three consecutive seasons now, Seahawks fans have been bombarded with trade talks that didn't happen. In 2017, it was Richard Sherman who the Seahawks were looking for multiple draft picks to move on from. Last year, it was a foregone conclusion that Earl Thomas would be on the Cowboys roster by the kickoff of the regular season. Brandan Schulze and Adam Emmert comment on the recent report by Colin Cowherd on this week's episode of the Field Gulls Podcast and discuss the inclusion of Russell Wilson as the latest member of the team to be targeted by rumors in the national media. In hindsight, considering the injuries to Sherman and Thomas, it may have been best for the Seahawks to take what they could get for their aging defensive stars. The latest rumor that Wilson may be destined for New York to take over for Eli Manning is at a completely different level. Continuing the theme of terrible trade ideas, Reggie Wayne suggested on the NFL Network that trading Frank Clark for Antonio Brown would somehow make sense. A recent article on Field Gulls shows how Frank Clark's value is a lot closer to the level of Khalil Mack. Not even close to the value the Steelers could expect to get for Brown at this point. With a franchise tag appearing likely, one question worth discussing is if Seahawks fans would be satisfied to get two first round picks if another team offers Clark a deal under a non-exclusive tag. Free agency is on the horizon and the guys take a look at some players who could be possible upgrades and which Seahawks players are among the top 100 available free agents according to PFT. If K.J. Wright and Earl Thomas are on their way out in free agency, which players could they target to help fill their shoes in 2019. D.J. Fluker and J.R. Sweezy are set to hit free agency. Which one of those players gets paid more? Getting a new kicker may be one of the most important positions to fill, but Seattle hasn't shown any willingness to spend big in free agency. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 14 - Seattle, London, Costa Rica and... Indiana