Podcasts about Coelacanth

Order of lobe-finned fishes from the western Indian Ocean

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  • May 17, 2025LATEST
Coelacanth

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Best podcasts about Coelacanth

Latest podcast episodes about Coelacanth

The Cryptidbits Podcast
Season 2 Episode 15: The Coelacanth

The Cryptidbits Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2025 61:14


It's time for everyone's favorite cryptid the Coelacanth!

Strange Animals Podcast
Episode 430: The Fake and the Real Coelacanth

Strange Animals Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 11:02


This week we examine two recent articles about coelacanth discoveries. Which one is real and which one is fake?! Further reading: Fake California Coelacanth First record of a living coelacanth from North Maluku, Indonesia A real coelacanth photo: A fake coelacanth photo (or at least the article is a fake) [photo taken from the first article linked above]: A real coelacanth photo [photo from the second article linked above]: Show transcript: Welcome to Strange Animals Podcast. I'm your host, Kate Shaw. I had another episode planned for this week, but then I read an article by geologist Sharon Hill and decided the topic she researched was so important we need to cover it here. No, it's not the dire wolf—that's next week. It's the coelacanth. We talked about the coelocanth way back in episode two, with updates in a few later episodes. Because episode two is so old that it's dropped off the podcast feed, and to listen to it you have to actually go to the podcast's website, I'm going to quote from it extensively here. In December of 1938, a museum curator in South Africa named Marjorie Courtenay Lattimer got a message from a friend of hers, a fisherman named Hendrick Goosen, who had just arrived with a new catch. Lattimer was on the lookout for specimens for her tiny museum, and Goosen was happy to let her have anything interesting. Lattimer went down to the dock. Then she noticed THE FISH. It was five feet long, or 1.5 meters, blueish with shimmery silvery markings, with strange lobed fins and scales like armored plates. She described it as the most beautiful fish she had ever seen. She didn't know what it was, but she wanted it. She took the fish back to the museum in a taxi and went through her reference books to identify it. Imagine it. She's flipped through a couple of books but nothing looks even remotely like her fish. Then she turns a page and there's a picture of the fish--but it's extinct. It's been extinct for some 66 million years. But it's also a very recently alive fish resting on ice in the back of her museum. Lattimer sketched the fish and sent the drawing and a description to a professor at Rhodes University, J.L.B. Smith. But Smith was on Christmas break and didn't get her message until January 3rd. In the meantime, Lattimer's museum director told her the fish was a grouper and not worth the ice it was lying on. December is the middle of summer in South Africa, so to keep the fish from rotting away, she had it mounted. Then Smith sent her a near-hysterical cable that read, “MOST IMPORTANT PRESERVE SKELETON AND GILLS.” Oops. Smith got a little obsessed about finding another coelacanth. He offered huge rewards for a specimen. But it wasn't until December of 1952 that a pair of local fishermen on the island of Anjuan, about halfway between Tanzania and Madagascar, turned up with a fish they called the gombessa. It was a second coelacanth. Everyone was happy. The fishermen got a huge reward—a hundred British pounds—and Smith had an intact coelacanth. He actually cried when he saw it. Most people have heard of the coelacanth because its discovery is such a great story. But why is the fish such a big deal? The coelacanth isn't just a fish that was supposed to be extinct and was discovered alive and well, although that's pretty awesome. It's a strange fish, more closely related to mammals and reptiles than it is to ordinary ray-finned fish. The only living fish even slightly like it is the lungfish, which we talked about in episode 55. While the coelacanth is unique in a lot of ways, it's those lobed fins that are really exciting. It's not a stretch to say its paired fins look like nubby legs with frills instead of digits. Until DNA sequencing in 2013, many researchers thought the coelacanth was a sort of missing link between water-dwelling animals and those that first developed the ability to walk on land. As it happens, the lungfish turns out to be closer to that stage t...

BeansTalk
Coelacanth: It was here, now it is again

BeansTalk

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2024 16:35


Missing for a very long time the coelacanth is a fish that was thought to be extinct and now it is making a come back. What else might be out there just waiting to be discovered? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beanstalk-frog-beans/support

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

FARRO! Good sire! My liege! Come quickly, We've not much to tell you; But even less time,, to do so. …why? Because! Here they come! It's lost– Now, it's gone Now, you run. Don't run off On your mark (marker) Get set I'm gonna need a clapboard for this. What brought you up It was under the table What woke you up? It was aprt of a song or something– The line was Notch in your bedpost Line in a song Notch in a bedpost Line in a song Red rover, Come lover come Incubus/ succubus Yup. Run. Incubus/ Succubus “The Incubus, Succubus Song” THIS IS ALL OF THE SONGS. Suxks balls. DAAAAAMN What woke YOU up Hot lava. NOPE. Interdisciplinary aleegience to the illuminati. yup . damn , you suck. What was I gonna do? Work at Walmart, like the rest of us. NOPE. KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF AGAIN Uh uh JUST JUMP. …rope. HANG—---------------------------------------------------------------GLIDER. Slow down, would you. NOPE. Great, gotta go find that guy now… TOM HANSON WHAT FOR?! CHANCE THE RAPPER AH. great . nw i dropped my hat. GOD That's another$15,000 DO the hat dance. Which one the – one with the sobreros OOh. Somber Hoes. We like those. MEANWHILE Nope. its really stuck in there. It's never gonna come out Will this suffice. yeah . i'm up. yeah ,i guess this is what method looks like When you're anchored to an island that basically functions as a giant A GIANT A giant fucking antenna. W0AH. JUST DO IT ALREADY. LET GO. NOOO. Ok. i'm gonna throw up Don't throw up, cause if i let go *lets go* OH LOOK. A RAINBOW. NOOOOOOOO nOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is getting difficult NO it isn't. I'm going to be candid for just a moment… GOD WHAT I need you to answer my question– which QUESTIOn. The–i mean like Pretty much all the questions. I'm just now only to S Shh. don't say it. It might come back. COELACANTH! COELACANTH! spectacular . It really was. Hmmm. …. MAXWELL ,....Cola cans. Ok. Now i'm trippin balls. COELACANTH …erm… Come on, man– This is ridiculous. RIDICULUS! Riddikulus Wtf kind of cloud is THIS. A cumulus Gazuntite. COELACANTH …bananas. WHAT?! IT SPEAKS. IT WANTS BANANAS! GIVE IT BANANAS. Oh shit! It's– THE NANNY NAMED FRAN Way back then. EVEN THEN. ILLUMINATI OPEN MY EYE CHILD NO ILLUMINATI FINE. I'LL DO IT. AAAAA –bless you. Oh, it's you again. Zoboomafoo Hey boss. Hey what. Can you send me another one? MORE FRY SAUCE. Fuck, dillon. Why are you so fucking fat right now? WHY GOD. I like ur boobs tho. They are nice. –What! I gave you Keisha! Yeah, i like her and all, it's just EXT. ONE NIGHT. SOMEWHERE. …when? WHENEVER Look, i'm gonna be like, the highlight of your whole life, alright. …alright! but first things first what. Gotta get that– Revisions. HOW MANY REVISIONS OF COMPLICATIONS IS THIS TEN I WANT THAT PLUG. denied . GIVE ME THAT fuck . what . I got a show tnight. I gotta get… gone . Did she go? no . Why not? There it is? What, Elle? That–that color. Why on earth would you ever want to be that blonde? DO IT AGAIin. Ok. CUT TO: [THE COSMIC AVENGER has turned Ū (for literally ALL intensive purposes) into a PINECONE. That's it? That's the trup. That's it. That's the trip? I guess. AHAHA I HAVE TURNED YOU NOW AND FOREVER INTO A TROLL DOLL. NO. (amen) YOU DONE DONE IT AGAIN. MESSAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE Hi, I'm Seven. Ok. This is CUT BACK TO: it was good. It was “ok” It was GREAT It's just– It's just what, dickface. JUST DO IT. JOSH PECK I AM. JUST. DOING IT. AND DOIN iT AND DOIN IT AND DOIN IT RUN INDIGENEUSES AYAYAYAYA EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE [ILLUMINATI, UNLOCKED] I gotta get out of this game, yo. This is unreal. *passes the torch* Oh NO Yur an OLyMpIAn NO NO RUN Uh. What shall I do with this? (no = response whatsoever) I know. I shall give this to Uh THE POPE THE POPE. [looking down at garb] What am I, THE POPE? Hey look. A rope. This had better not be for hanging yourself with. Ok. This isn't political. HEY LOOK, A NOOSE. that's … there. HEY LOOK, ANOTHER NOOSE Ok. i have to get out of the deep south now. Wtf year is this. like right NOW. DAMN. JUMP. NO. Let go. NO. Look at this WTF IN THE FUCK INT. WHENEVER. IN THE FUCK. wait , bring this guy back real quick ANDY SANDWHICH sure , why not Hold on, let me try ANDY SANDBOUROUGH Huh ANDY Look. ok. I lied. Lied about what. I NEVER LIE. I see yur face at night, I learn to dream. What the fuck is this. Hold on, i'm breaking into song. THAT'S SO RAVEN look . if my visions ever get THI vivid. Oh. i get it. I am the Illuminati. just TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. ok . this is awful. Get more stoned *deep inhale* Yur right. It rocks. see . CUT BACK, like WAY WAY BACK Get in the way, way back why Cause you're like, small enough SAUL. WHat I NEED– wait . is that guy a lawyer There was a spinoff. How'd that show go again? SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF. WAT. NOW TURN THEM BACK ON I'm gonna get killed. *sniffs* nope . still not high enough. CHRIST, HOW MANY DRUGS IS THAT GUY ON. ok , lets just be honest. I can't write that. Why. DOCTOR …is this the right dimension. MICHAEL HACKSON No. no it is not. Put me back under, Doc. DOCTOR Are you sure? Maybe you need like, a white doctor MICHAEL NO, You're the right one. Lets go. Lets stop now, this is awful. Hold on, my wings are comin in. If you're not gonna let go, Then i will DON'T. GOD BALLS See look. This is my show now. okay , it's my turn. ROCK How ya doin, Jared JARED bad . i'm bad. THE WHOLE ISLAND w0w So that's how much that costs. ah , the rock sauce DWANE JOHNSON I'M A GOD NO, NO, NOOOOO Turn this off. I like. Srsly cant. PAPARAZI THERE S/HE is! [RU PAUL IS GOD] RU Ok. that wa savage KU//KA So wait, ALL these bitches like to copy me? All of them. I'M A GOD Fuck that. I wanna be a rockstar now! What. ROCKSTAR ok , i gotta like Get like, diagonal, or something Holy shit, broh. I've been flying this meaphrical kite out of my [BACKEND] For like wait , how long's it been STORY LORD GET IN THE HOLE NO. RICK I told you, there was a twist JUSTIN Put me back in RICK NO. YOU DIE NOW. AHA. OUT OF THE GAME. I QUIT. I WIN. IN REAL TIME: Uh oh ! You're out of coffee. Uh oh. I DO NOT want to go to trader joes. For some reason, These two weirdos, at one point Before we were famous, maybe way , way before that Why because , i just MET her. She's not my friend. She's my MY BESTFRIEND. BEST FRIENd who is this Tell her is skrillex. She'll get it. WAKE UP, IT'S SKRILLEX I AM NOT GOING TO You have to go. You showed us. Now you have to go. LIZ LEMon LEM Aww, come ON. *kaBOOM* You have to have watched this show to even get that. Can't. Why not. Can't watch that show. Can't watch this. Can't listen to that. What happened. NOTHIN. KITE ATTACK LIZ LEMON (drunkenly) I–DO–NOT WANT– TO GO TO THERE. It shouldn't be that staggered. It should not be that hard to kidnap that chick. It could be. If she was THIS FAT GET. IN NO THEVAN I donT WANNA GO TO FAT CAMP Too bad. Cause that's attractive GODDAMN. yeah dawg, she's like 4'10 really?! YAS. wtf. EXT. BEDROCK. DAY. …Pebbles? ………..BAMBAM? DAMN! DAM We should definitely build this yeah . put this here. WHY ARE WE BEAVERSSSSSSS. cause . Fuck dude. I gotta get back to 2025 This whole place is gone now. why . Tell me why oh god almighty GOD ALMIGHTY EVAN Oh no. it's a story hole STORY LORD K bye Fuck it, we're Gone now. THE TIME MACHINE. OH. IT”S BACK. GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT I don't get it. Whats up. It's like…. It's like, raining bananas,but they ‘Re going “UP” neeeeeee000oooooww BOOM

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]
TOM HANSON.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2024 66:00


FARRO! Good sire! My liege! Come quickly, We've not much to tell you; But even less time,, to do so. …why? Because! Here they come! It's lost– Now, it's gone Now, you run. Don't run off On your mark (marker) Get set I'm gonna need a clapboard for this. What brought you up It was under the table What woke you up? It was aprt of a song or something– The line was Notch in your bedpost Line in a song Notch in a bedpost Line in a song Red rover, Come lover come Incubus/ succubus Yup. Run. Incubus/ Succubus “The Incubus, Succubus Song” THIS IS ALL OF THE SONGS. Suxks balls. DAAAAAMN What woke YOU up Hot lava. NOPE. Interdisciplinary aleegience to the illuminati. yup . damn , you suck. What was I gonna do? Work at Walmart, like the rest of us. NOPE. KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF AGAIN Uh uh JUST JUMP. …rope. HANG—---------------------------------------------------------------GLIDER. Slow down, would you. NOPE. Great, gotta go find that guy now… TOM HANSON WHAT FOR?! CHANCE THE RAPPER AH. great . nw i dropped my hat. GOD That's another$15,000 DO the hat dance. Which one the – one with the sobreros OOh. Somber Hoes. We like those. MEANWHILE Nope. its really stuck in there. It's never gonna come out Will this suffice. yeah . i'm up. yeah ,i guess this is what method looks like When you're anchored to an island that basically functions as a giant A GIANT A giant fucking antenna. W0AH. JUST DO IT ALREADY. LET GO. NOOO. Ok. i'm gonna throw up Don't throw up, cause if i let go *lets go* OH LOOK. A RAINBOW. NOOOOOOOO nOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is getting difficult NO it isn't. I'm going to be candid for just a moment… GOD WHAT I need you to answer my question– which QUESTIOn. The–i mean like Pretty much all the questions. I'm just now only to S Shh. don't say it. It might come back. COELACANTH! COELACANTH! spectacular . It really was. Hmmm. …. MAXWELL ,....Cola cans. Ok. Now i'm trippin balls. COELACANTH …erm… Come on, man– This is ridiculous. RIDICULUS! Riddikulus Wtf kind of cloud is THIS. A cumulus Gazuntite. COELACANTH …bananas. WHAT?! IT SPEAKS. IT WANTS BANANAS! GIVE IT BANANAS. Oh shit! It's– THE NANNY NAMED FRAN Way back then. EVEN THEN. ILLUMINATI OPEN MY EYE CHILD NO ILLUMINATI FINE. I'LL DO IT. AAAAA –bless you. Oh, it's you again. Zoboomafoo Hey boss. Hey what. Can you send me another one? MORE FRY SAUCE. Fuck, dillon. Why are you so fucking fat right now? WHY GOD. I like ur boobs tho. They are nice. –What! I gave you Keisha! Yeah, i like her and all, it's just EXT. ONE NIGHT. SOMEWHERE. …when? WHENEVER Look, i'm gonna be like, the highlight of your whole life, alright. …alright! but first things first what. Gotta get that– Revisions. HOW MANY REVISIONS OF COMPLICATIONS IS THIS TEN I WANT THAT PLUG. denied . GIVE ME THAT fuck . what . I got a show tnight. I gotta get… gone . Did she go? no . Why not? There it is? What, Elle? That–that color. Why on earth would you ever want to be that blonde? DO IT AGAIin. Ok. CUT TO: [THE COSMIC AVENGER has turned Ū (for literally ALL intensive purposes) into a PINECONE. That's it? That's the trup. That's it. That's the trip? I guess. AHAHA I HAVE TURNED YOU NOW AND FOREVER INTO A TROLL DOLL. NO. (amen) YOU DONE DONE IT AGAIN. MESSAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE Hi, I'm Seven. Ok. This is CUT BACK TO: it was good. It was “ok” It was GREAT It's just– It's just what, dickface. JUST DO IT. JOSH PECK I AM. JUST. DOING IT. AND DOIN iT AND DOIN IT AND DOIN IT RUN INDIGENEUSES AYAYAYAYA EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE [ILLUMINATI, UNLOCKED] I gotta get out of this game, yo. This is unreal. *passes the torch* Oh NO Yur an OLyMpIAn NO NO RUN Uh. What shall I do with this? (no = response whatsoever) I know. I shall give this to Uh THE POPE THE POPE. [looking down at garb] What am I, THE POPE? Hey look. A rope. This had better not be for hanging yourself with. Ok. This isn't political. HEY LOOK, A NOOSE. that's … there. HEY LOOK, ANOTHER NOOSE Ok. i have to get out of the deep south now. Wtf year is this. like right NOW. DAMN. JUMP. NO. Let go. NO. Look at this WTF IN THE FUCK INT. WHENEVER. IN THE FUCK. wait , bring this guy back real quick ANDY SANDWHICH sure , why not Hold on, let me try ANDY SANDBOUROUGH Huh ANDY Look. ok. I lied. Lied about what. I NEVER LIE. I see yur face at night, I learn to dream. What the fuck is this. Hold on, i'm breaking into song. THAT'S SO RAVEN look . if my visions ever get THI vivid. Oh. i get it. I am the Illuminati. just TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. ok . this is awful. Get more stoned *deep inhale* Yur right. It rocks. see . CUT BACK, like WAY WAY BACK Get in the way, way back why Cause you're like, small enough SAUL. WHat I NEED– wait . is that guy a lawyer There was a spinoff. How'd that show go again? SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF. WAT. NOW TURN THEM BACK ON I'm gonna get killed. *sniffs* nope . still not high enough. CHRIST, HOW MANY DRUGS IS THAT GUY ON. ok , lets just be honest. I can't write that. Why. DOCTOR …is this the right dimension. MICHAEL HACKSON No. no it is not. Put me back under, Doc. DOCTOR Are you sure? Maybe you need like, a white doctor MICHAEL NO, You're the right one. Lets go. Lets stop now, this is awful. Hold on, my wings are comin in. If you're not gonna let go, Then i will DON'T. GOD BALLS See look. This is my show now. okay , it's my turn. ROCK How ya doin, Jared JARED bad . i'm bad. THE WHOLE ISLAND w0w So that's how much that costs. ah , the rock sauce DWANE JOHNSON I'M A GOD NO, NO, NOOOOO Turn this off. I like. Srsly cant. PAPARAZI THERE S/HE is! [RU PAUL IS GOD] RU Ok. that wa savage KU//KA So wait, ALL these bitches like to copy me? All of them. I'M A GOD Fuck that. I wanna be a rockstar now! What. ROCKSTAR ok , i gotta like Get like, diagonal, or something Holy shit, broh. I've been flying this meaphrical kite out of my [BACKEND] For like wait , how long's it been STORY LORD GET IN THE HOLE NO. RICK I told you, there was a twist JUSTIN Put me back in RICK NO. YOU DIE NOW. AHA. OUT OF THE GAME. I QUIT. I WIN. IN REAL TIME: Uh oh ! You're out of coffee. Uh oh. I DO NOT want to go to trader joes. For some reason, These two weirdos, at one point Before we were famous, maybe way , way before that Why because , i just MET her. She's not my friend. She's my MY BESTFRIEND. BEST FRIENd who is this Tell her is skrillex. She'll get it. WAKE UP, IT'S SKRILLEX I AM NOT GOING TO You have to go. You showed us. Now you have to go. LIZ LEMon LEM Aww, come ON. *kaBOOM* You have to have watched this show to even get that. Can't. Why not. Can't watch that show. Can't watch this. Can't listen to that. What happened. NOTHIN. KITE ATTACK LIZ LEMON (drunkenly) I–DO–NOT WANT– TO GO TO THERE. It shouldn't be that staggered. It should not be that hard to kidnap that chick. It could be. If she was THIS FAT GET. IN NO THEVAN I donT WANNA GO TO FAT CAMP Too bad. Cause that's attractive GODDAMN. yeah dawg, she's like 4'10 really?! YAS. wtf. EXT. BEDROCK. DAY. …Pebbles? ………..BAMBAM? DAMN! DAM We should definitely build this yeah . put this here. WHY ARE WE BEAVERSSSSSSS. cause . Fuck dude. I gotta get back to 2025 This whole place is gone now. why . Tell me why oh god almighty GOD ALMIGHTY EVAN Oh no. it's a story hole STORY LORD K bye Fuck it, we're Gone now. THE TIME MACHINE. OH. IT”S BACK. GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT I don't get it. Whats up. It's like…. It's like, raining bananas,but they ‘Re going “UP” neeeeeee000oooooww BOOM

Gerald’s World.
TOM HANSON.

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2024 66:00


FARRO! Good sire! My liege! Come quickly, We've not much to tell you; But even less time,, to do so. …why? Because! Here they come! It's lost– Now, it's gone Now, you run. Don't run off On your mark (marker) Get set I'm gonna need a clapboard for this. What brought you up It was under the table What woke you up? It was aprt of a song or something– The line was Notch in your bedpost Line in a song Notch in a bedpost Line in a song Red rover, Come lover come Incubus/ succubus Yup. Run. Incubus/ Succubus “The Incubus, Succubus Song” THIS IS ALL OF THE SONGS. Suxks balls. DAAAAAMN What woke YOU up Hot lava. NOPE. Interdisciplinary aleegience to the illuminati. yup . damn , you suck. What was I gonna do? Work at Walmart, like the rest of us. NOPE. KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF AGAIN Uh uh JUST JUMP. …rope. HANG—---------------------------------------------------------------GLIDER. Slow down, would you. NOPE. Great, gotta go find that guy now… TOM HANSON WHAT FOR?! CHANCE THE RAPPER AH. great . nw i dropped my hat. GOD That's another$15,000 DO the hat dance. Which one the – one with the sobreros OOh. Somber Hoes. We like those. MEANWHILE Nope. its really stuck in there. It's never gonna come out Will this suffice. yeah . i'm up. yeah ,i guess this is what method looks like When you're anchored to an island that basically functions as a giant A GIANT A giant fucking antenna. W0AH. JUST DO IT ALREADY. LET GO. NOOO. Ok. i'm gonna throw up Don't throw up, cause if i let go *lets go* OH LOOK. A RAINBOW. NOOOOOOOO nOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is getting difficult NO it isn't. I'm going to be candid for just a moment… GOD WHAT I need you to answer my question– which QUESTIOn. The–i mean like Pretty much all the questions. I'm just now only to S Shh. don't say it. It might come back. COELACANTH! COELACANTH! spectacular . It really was. Hmmm. …. MAXWELL ,....Cola cans. Ok. Now i'm trippin balls. COELACANTH …erm… Come on, man– This is ridiculous. RIDICULUS! Riddikulus Wtf kind of cloud is THIS. A cumulus Gazuntite. COELACANTH …bananas. WHAT?! IT SPEAKS. IT WANTS BANANAS! GIVE IT BANANAS. Oh shit! It's– THE NANNY NAMED FRAN Way back then. EVEN THEN. ILLUMINATI OPEN MY EYE CHILD NO ILLUMINATI FINE. I'LL DO IT. AAAAA –bless you. Oh, it's you again. Zoboomafoo Hey boss. Hey what. Can you send me another one? MORE FRY SAUCE. Fuck, dillon. Why are you so fucking fat right now? WHY GOD. I like ur boobs tho. They are nice. –What! I gave you Keisha! Yeah, i like her and all, it's just EXT. ONE NIGHT. SOMEWHERE. …when? WHENEVER Look, i'm gonna be like, the highlight of your whole life, alright. …alright! but first things first what. Gotta get that– Revisions. HOW MANY REVISIONS OF COMPLICATIONS IS THIS TEN I WANT THAT PLUG. denied . GIVE ME THAT fuck . what . I got a show tnight. I gotta get… gone . Did she go? no . Why not? There it is? What, Elle? That–that color. Why on earth would you ever want to be that blonde? DO IT AGAIin. Ok. CUT TO: [THE COSMIC AVENGER has turned Ū (for literally ALL intensive purposes) into a PINECONE. That's it? That's the trup. That's it. That's the trip? I guess. AHAHA I HAVE TURNED YOU NOW AND FOREVER INTO A TROLL DOLL. NO. (amen) YOU DONE DONE IT AGAIN. MESSAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE Hi, I'm Seven. Ok. This is CUT BACK TO: it was good. It was “ok” It was GREAT It's just– It's just what, dickface. JUST DO IT. JOSH PECK I AM. JUST. DOING IT. AND DOIN iT AND DOIN IT AND DOIN IT RUN INDIGENEUSES AYAYAYAYA EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE [ILLUMINATI, UNLOCKED] I gotta get out of this game, yo. This is unreal. *passes the torch* Oh NO Yur an OLyMpIAn NO NO RUN Uh. What shall I do with this? (no = response whatsoever) I know. I shall give this to Uh THE POPE THE POPE. [looking down at garb] What am I, THE POPE? Hey look. A rope. This had better not be for hanging yourself with. Ok. This isn't political. HEY LOOK, A NOOSE. that's … there. HEY LOOK, ANOTHER NOOSE Ok. i have to get out of the deep south now. Wtf year is this. like right NOW. DAMN. JUMP. NO. Let go. NO. Look at this WTF IN THE FUCK INT. WHENEVER. IN THE FUCK. wait , bring this guy back real quick ANDY SANDWHICH sure , why not Hold on, let me try ANDY SANDBOUROUGH Huh ANDY Look. ok. I lied. Lied about what. I NEVER LIE. I see yur face at night, I learn to dream. What the fuck is this. Hold on, i'm breaking into song. THAT'S SO RAVEN look . if my visions ever get THI vivid. Oh. i get it. I am the Illuminati. just TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. ok . this is awful. Get more stoned *deep inhale* Yur right. It rocks. see . CUT BACK, like WAY WAY BACK Get in the way, way back why Cause you're like, small enough SAUL. WHat I NEED– wait . is that guy a lawyer There was a spinoff. How'd that show go again? SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF. WAT. NOW TURN THEM BACK ON I'm gonna get killed. *sniffs* nope . still not high enough. CHRIST, HOW MANY DRUGS IS THAT GUY ON. ok , lets just be honest. I can't write that. Why. DOCTOR …is this the right dimension. MICHAEL HACKSON No. no it is not. Put me back under, Doc. DOCTOR Are you sure? Maybe you need like, a white doctor MICHAEL NO, You're the right one. Lets go. Lets stop now, this is awful. Hold on, my wings are comin in. If you're not gonna let go, Then i will DON'T. GOD BALLS See look. This is my show now. okay , it's my turn. ROCK How ya doin, Jared JARED bad . i'm bad. THE WHOLE ISLAND w0w So that's how much that costs. ah , the rock sauce DWANE JOHNSON I'M A GOD NO, NO, NOOOOO Turn this off. I like. Srsly cant. PAPARAZI THERE S/HE is! [RU PAUL IS GOD] RU Ok. that wa savage KU//KA So wait, ALL these bitches like to copy me? All of them. I'M A GOD Fuck that. I wanna be a rockstar now! What. ROCKSTAR ok , i gotta like Get like, diagonal, or something Holy shit, broh. I've been flying this meaphrical kite out of my [BACKEND] For like wait , how long's it been STORY LORD GET IN THE HOLE NO. RICK I told you, there was a twist JUSTIN Put me back in RICK NO. YOU DIE NOW. AHA. OUT OF THE GAME. I QUIT. I WIN. IN REAL TIME: Uh oh ! You're out of coffee. Uh oh. I DO NOT want to go to trader joes. For some reason, These two weirdos, at one point Before we were famous, maybe way , way before that Why because , i just MET her. She's not my friend. She's my MY BESTFRIEND. BEST FRIENd who is this Tell her is skrillex. She'll get it. WAKE UP, IT'S SKRILLEX I AM NOT GOING TO You have to go. You showed us. Now you have to go. LIZ LEMon LEM Aww, come ON. *kaBOOM* You have to have watched this show to even get that. Can't. Why not. Can't watch that show. Can't watch this. Can't listen to that. What happened. NOTHIN. KITE ATTACK LIZ LEMON (drunkenly) I–DO–NOT WANT– TO GO TO THERE. It shouldn't be that staggered. It should not be that hard to kidnap that chick. It could be. If she was THIS FAT GET. IN NO THEVAN I donT WANNA GO TO FAT CAMP Too bad. Cause that's attractive GODDAMN. yeah dawg, she's like 4'10 really?! YAS. wtf. EXT. BEDROCK. DAY. …Pebbles? ………..BAMBAM? DAMN! DAM We should definitely build this yeah . put this here. WHY ARE WE BEAVERSSSSSSS. cause . Fuck dude. I gotta get back to 2025 This whole place is gone now. why . Tell me why oh god almighty GOD ALMIGHTY EVAN Oh no. it's a story hole STORY LORD K bye Fuck it, we're Gone now. THE TIME MACHINE. OH. IT”S BACK. GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT I don't get it. Whats up. It's like…. It's like, raining bananas,but they ‘Re going “UP” neeeeeee000oooooww BOOM

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

FARRO! Good sire! My liege! Come quickly, We've not much to tell you; But even less time,, to do so. …why? Because! Here they come! It's lost– Now, it's gone Now, you run. Don't run off On your mark (marker) Get set I'm gonna need a clapboard for this. What brought you up It was under the table What woke you up? It was aprt of a song or something– The line was Notch in your bedpost Line in a song Notch in a bedpost Line in a song Red rover, Come lover come Incubus/ succubus Yup. Run. Incubus/ Succubus “The Incubus, Succubus Song” THIS IS ALL OF THE SONGS. Suxks balls. DAAAAAMN What woke YOU up Hot lava. NOPE. Interdisciplinary aleegience to the illuminati. yup . damn , you suck. What was I gonna do? Work at Walmart, like the rest of us. NOPE. KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF AGAIN Uh uh JUST JUMP. …rope. HANG—---------------------------------------------------------------GLIDER. Slow down, would you. NOPE. Great, gotta go find that guy now… TOM HANSON WHAT FOR?! CHANCE THE RAPPER AH. great . nw i dropped my hat. GOD That's another$15,000 DO the hat dance. Which one the – one with the sobreros OOh. Somber Hoes. We like those. MEANWHILE Nope. its really stuck in there. It's never gonna come out Will this suffice. yeah . i'm up. yeah ,i guess this is what method looks like When you're anchored to an island that basically functions as a giant A GIANT A giant fucking antenna. W0AH. JUST DO IT ALREADY. LET GO. NOOO. Ok. i'm gonna throw up Don't throw up, cause if i let go *lets go* OH LOOK. A RAINBOW. NOOOOOOOO nOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is getting difficult NO it isn't. I'm going to be candid for just a moment… GOD WHAT I need you to answer my question– which QUESTIOn. The–i mean like Pretty much all the questions. I'm just now only to S Shh. don't say it. It might come back. COELACANTH! COELACANTH! spectacular . It really was. Hmmm. …. MAXWELL ,....Cola cans. Ok. Now i'm trippin balls. COELACANTH …erm… Come on, man– This is ridiculous. RIDICULUS! Riddikulus Wtf kind of cloud is THIS. A cumulus Gazuntite. COELACANTH …bananas. WHAT?! IT SPEAKS. IT WANTS BANANAS! GIVE IT BANANAS. Oh shit! It's– THE NANNY NAMED FRAN Way back then. EVEN THEN. ILLUMINATI OPEN MY EYE CHILD NO ILLUMINATI FINE. I'LL DO IT. AAAAA –bless you. Oh, it's you again. Zoboomafoo Hey boss. Hey what. Can you send me another one? MORE FRY SAUCE. Fuck, dillon. Why are you so fucking fat right now? WHY GOD. I like ur boobs tho. They are nice. –What! I gave you Keisha! Yeah, i like her and all, it's just EXT. ONE NIGHT. SOMEWHERE. …when? WHENEVER Look, i'm gonna be like, the highlight of your whole life, alright. …alright! but first things first what. Gotta get that– Revisions. HOW MANY REVISIONS OF COMPLICATIONS IS THIS TEN I WANT THAT PLUG. denied . GIVE ME THAT fuck . what . I got a show tnight. I gotta get… gone . Did she go? no . Why not? There it is? What, Elle? That–that color. Why on earth would you ever want to be that blonde? DO IT AGAIin. Ok. CUT TO: [THE COSMIC AVENGER has turned Ū (for literally ALL intensive purposes) into a PINECONE. That's it? That's the trup. That's it. That's the trip? I guess. AHAHA I HAVE TURNED YOU NOW AND FOREVER INTO A TROLL DOLL. NO. (amen) YOU DONE DONE IT AGAIN. MESSAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE Hi, I'm Seven. Ok. This is CUT BACK TO: it was good. It was “ok” It was GREAT It's just– It's just what, dickface. JUST DO IT. JOSH PECK I AM. JUST. DOING IT. AND DOIN iT AND DOIN IT AND DOIN IT RUN INDIGENEUSES AYAYAYAYA EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE [ILLUMINATI, UNLOCKED] I gotta get out of this game, yo. This is unreal. *passes the torch* Oh NO Yur an OLyMpIAn NO NO RUN Uh. What shall I do with this? (no = response whatsoever) I know. I shall give this to Uh THE POPE THE POPE. [looking down at garb] What am I, THE POPE? Hey look. A rope. This had better not be for hanging yourself with. Ok. This isn't political. HEY LOOK, A NOOSE. that's … there. HEY LOOK, ANOTHER NOOSE Ok. i have to get out of the deep south now. Wtf year is this. like right NOW. DAMN. JUMP. NO. Let go. NO. Look at this WTF IN THE FUCK INT. WHENEVER. IN THE FUCK. wait , bring this guy back real quick ANDY SANDWHICH sure , why not Hold on, let me try ANDY SANDBOUROUGH Huh ANDY Look. ok. I lied. Lied about what. I NEVER LIE. I see yur face at night, I learn to dream. What the fuck is this. Hold on, i'm breaking into song. THAT'S SO RAVEN look . if my visions ever get THI vivid. Oh. i get it. I am the Illuminati. just TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. TURN IT OFF. ok . this is awful. Get more stoned *deep inhale* Yur right. It rocks. see . CUT BACK, like WAY WAY BACK Get in the way, way back why Cause you're like, small enough SAUL. WHat I NEED– wait . is that guy a lawyer There was a spinoff. How'd that show go again? SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF. WAT. NOW TURN THEM BACK ON I'm gonna get killed. *sniffs* nope . still not high enough. CHRIST, HOW MANY DRUGS IS THAT GUY ON. ok , lets just be honest. I can't write that. Why. DOCTOR …is this the right dimension. MICHAEL HACKSON No. no it is not. Put me back under, Doc. DOCTOR Are you sure? Maybe you need like, a white doctor MICHAEL NO, You're the right one. Lets go. Lets stop now, this is awful. Hold on, my wings are comin in. If you're not gonna let go, Then i will DON'T. GOD BALLS See look. This is my show now. okay , it's my turn. ROCK How ya doin, Jared JARED bad . i'm bad. THE WHOLE ISLAND w0w So that's how much that costs. ah , the rock sauce DWANE JOHNSON I'M A GOD NO, NO, NOOOOO Turn this off. I like. Srsly cant. PAPARAZI THERE S/HE is! [RU PAUL IS GOD] RU Ok. that wa savage KU//KA So wait, ALL these bitches like to copy me? All of them. I'M A GOD Fuck that. I wanna be a rockstar now! What. ROCKSTAR ok , i gotta like Get like, diagonal, or something Holy shit, broh. I've been flying this meaphrical kite out of my [BACKEND] For like wait , how long's it been STORY LORD GET IN THE HOLE NO. RICK I told you, there was a twist JUSTIN Put me back in RICK NO. YOU DIE NOW. AHA. OUT OF THE GAME. I QUIT. I WIN. IN REAL TIME: Uh oh ! You're out of coffee. Uh oh. I DO NOT want to go to trader joes. For some reason, These two weirdos, at one point Before we were famous, maybe way , way before that Why because , i just MET her. She's not my friend. She's my MY BESTFRIEND. BEST FRIENd who is this Tell her is skrillex. She'll get it. WAKE UP, IT'S SKRILLEX I AM NOT GOING TO You have to go. You showed us. Now you have to go. LIZ LEMon LEM Aww, come ON. *kaBOOM* You have to have watched this show to even get that. Can't. Why not. Can't watch that show. Can't watch this. Can't listen to that. What happened. NOTHIN. KITE ATTACK LIZ LEMON (drunkenly) I–DO–NOT WANT– TO GO TO THERE. It shouldn't be that staggered. It should not be that hard to kidnap that chick. It could be. If she was THIS FAT GET. IN NO THEVAN I donT WANNA GO TO FAT CAMP Too bad. Cause that's attractive GODDAMN. yeah dawg, she's like 4'10 really?! YAS. wtf. EXT. BEDROCK. DAY. …Pebbles? ………..BAMBAM? DAMN! DAM We should definitely build this yeah . put this here. WHY ARE WE BEAVERSSSSSSS. cause . Fuck dude. I gotta get back to 2025 This whole place is gone now. why . Tell me why oh god almighty GOD ALMIGHTY EVAN Oh no. it's a story hole STORY LORD K bye Fuck it, we're Gone now. THE TIME MACHINE. OH. IT”S BACK. GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT I don't get it. Whats up. It's like…. It's like, raining bananas,but they ‘Re going “UP” neeeeeee000oooooww BOOM

Stuff You Missed in History Class
Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer and the Coelacanth

Stuff You Missed in History Class

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2024 46:31 Transcription Available


The coelacanth was believed to have gone extinct about 66 million years ago, until one was spotted in South Africa in 1938. Naturalist and museum curator Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer played a key part in that event. Research: Ashworth, Willam B. Jr. “Scientist of the Day – Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer.” Linda Hall Library. 2/24/2020. https://www.lindahall.org/about/news/scientist-of-the-day/marjorie-courtenay-latimer/ Bruton, Mike. “Curator and Crusader: The Life and Work of Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer.” Pinetown Printers, 2019. Courtenay-Latimer, M. “My Story of the First Coelacanth.” Occasional Papers of the California Academy of Sciences. No. 134. 12/22/1979. https://www.biodiversitylibrary.org/page/15956893#page/18/mode/1up Courtenay-Latimer, Marjorie. “Reminiscences of the Discovery of the Coelacanth, Latimeria chalumnae.” Interdisciplinary Journal of the International Society of Cryptozoology. Vol. 8. 1989. Hatchuel, Martin. “The Coelacanth.” Knysna Museums. https://www.knysnamuseums.co.za/pages/the-coelacanth/ Jewett, Susan L. “Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer: More than the Coelacanth!” Division of Fishes, Smithsonian Institution. Schramm, Sally. “Marjorie Eileen Doris Courtenay-Latimer: Beyond the Coelacanth.” Biodiversity Heritage Library Blog. https://blog.biodiversitylibrary.org/2019/03/marjorie-eileen-doris-courtenay-latimer.html Smith, Anthony. “Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer.” The Guardian. 5/20/2004. https://www.theguardian.com/news/2004/may/21/guardianobituaries Smith, J.L.B. “The Living Cœlacanthid Fish from South Africa.” Nature 143, 748–750 (1939). https://doi.org/10.1038/143748a0 Smith, J.L.B. “The Search Beneath the Sea: The Story of the Coelacanth.” New York. Holt. 1956. Smith, J.L.B. Living Fish of Mesozoic Type.” Nature 143, 455–456 (1939). https://doi.org/10.1038/143455a0 The Coelacanth : the Journal of the Border Historical Society. Vol. 42 No. 1 (2004). https://journal.ru.ac.za/index.php/Coelacanth/issue/view/143 Tyson, Peter. “Moment of Discovery.” PBS Nova. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/fish/letters.html Weinberg, Samantha. “A Fish Caught in Time: the Search for the Coelacanth.” New York : HarperCollins Publishers. 2001. Yanes, Javier. “The Woman Who Brought a Fish Back From the Dead.” BBVA Open Mind. 2/17/2023. https://www.bbvaopenmind.com/en/science/leading-figures/marjorie-courtenay-latimer-fossil-fish-coelacanth/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]
“The Fall Guy”

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2023 34:38


Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

Gerald’s World.
“The Fall Guy.”

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2023 34:38


Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]
{The 4-1-1}

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23


The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Gerald’s World.
{The 4-1-1}

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23


The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Gerald’s World.
[Division.]

Gerald’s World.

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2023 63:08


It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]
[Division]

[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2023 63:08


It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

The History Cache Podcast
From the Cache: Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer and the Coelacanth

The History Cache Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2023 24:58


It was believed the Coelacanth went extinct along with the dinosaurs around 66 million years ago when the Chicxulub impactor smashed into planet Earth…that was until Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer, curator of the East London Museum, found one in a pile of fish on a dock in South Africa in 1938. This primordial fish shocked the scientific world when the first-ever living specimen was pulled up by Captain Hendrik Goosen while he was trawling for fish near the mouth of the Chalumna River. The Coelacanth was dubbed a “living fossil” though it was eventually discovered that it had continued to evolve over the last 400 million years. Come hear the story of how one determined scientist saved the world's first extant Coelacanth specimen, and what exactly makes this strange, ancient species so special. This episode originally aired two years ago. I hope you enjoy (again)! 

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

#consiouness #stoplitterin #pleasedrinkresponsibly #festivallife #thefestivalproject Tomorrow I never sleep; It's been a couple dozen weeks, at least I laid the egg (I plant the seed) Now watch it hatch (Now, let it sprout) I paint a smile on Over the scars, of course Prisoner of war I beg your pardon, For your Honor, or other No, Nevermind! I paint a smile on Over the scars, of course Prisoner of war I beg your pardon, For your Honor, or other No, Nevermind! I have 900 things to do And I can't get over you And now every day is blue It's so crazy (I guess she has a leg up on me, huh) I sense a hint of morning sickness A gifted ad nauseum Museam of mathematics Madonna, Matron of the Matrix Put a smile on, would ya? Probably not, at second thought of it A smart ass, yes, I always was A husband, I was not I had the other part –and now we wrap, The audience suggests an encore, clapping Captain? I'll be back One second, said the MA Fuck, we passed the exit. LADYBIRD VEGAN RESTURAUNT grandmother is a semi-modular analog synthesizer with a built-in arpeggiator, sequencer and spring reverb tank. Start playing immediately with “no patching required”, and then explore an infinite sonic playground with Grandmother's reconfigurable front panel. Grandmother's circuits, spring reverb, and spirit are inspired by the classic Moog Modular Synthesizers, making this instrument a powerful addition to a Mother-32, DFAM or any Eurorack modular system. Grandmother is available in two distinct styles: original multi-colored front panel artwork and all-black Dark Series edition OH MY GOD. I'm– yeah. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? I didn't do anything! !!? –Persay… “Persay”!? Why's everybody sitting on the sidewalk? This, I don't understand With all of the trash, And all that has happpened, The risk of the past Coming at you, To seep through your Denim blue jeans, Just believe me— I speak true of residual confusion You might be new to this, I'm not confused, it's just stupid to lucid dream loosely Summer's in bloom— And I'm blue just like you Used to be {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

LEGENDS What did you DO?! What did I do? WHAT DID YOU DO? DID I BREAK SOMETHING? I told you, they're evil! Can they help it? No, at this point, it's just cyclical. No. No. No. (Flashback) “You sold your soul to music.” CUT BACK TO: I certainly did NOT. Ahem. (Before) “I'll trade then.” WHAT? She did say that. I did say that. Well FUCK. What was HIS deal? I don't know! I don't think anybody knows. Joel would know. Uhm. I'd like to phone a friend. You have friends? I have a friend. [phone rings] Who is this? THAT'S IT. What was “It”? WHERE'S MY PHONE. Ah, Uh-Oh. Fuck this shit. Don't fuck up. I'M GETTIN ON TINDER. Awww, fishsticks. That sounds tasty. T-t-t-tasty–Tastaaayyyy. Shut up, Fergie. FERGIE I like drugs. [Nobody Objects Entirely.] COELACANTH. WHAT IS THAT?! I don't know. {Coelacanth Approaches] OH DEAR GOD. I mean, I'm sure God's partly responsible for any of this– WHAT IS THAT? That's just Coelacanth. Fucking–JESUS CHRIST. I mean, maybe– AHHHHHHH. Just calm down! WHATTHEFUCK He is shy– [Coelacanth murmurs] –I think. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Conservation

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2023 10:59


Summary: Join Kiersten as she talks about the conservation status of the coelacanth and how we can help!   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean   Show Notes:  https://www.iucnredlist.org “Coelacanth: A Living Fossil From Eons Past (2023 Update),” by Lance Wilkins, Call Outdoors, https://www.calloutdoors.com “Coelacanth, the Famous “Living Fossil” Fish, Gets Endangered Species Act Protection, Scientific American, March 29, 2016. Https://blogs.scientificamerican.com. “Ghost fish: after 420 million years the deeps, modern gillnets from shark fin trade drag coelacanths into the light,” by Tony Carnie May 12, 2021. Mongabay, https://news.mongabay.com   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode concludes the coelacanth and the tenth thing I like about this animal is their conservation. Maybe I need to re-word that statement. I don't like the fact that coelacanths need conservation, but it's an important topic and we're already working on protecting them for future generations. One of the questions that might have popped into your head when you saw the title of this episode, is do coelacanths really need conservation efforts? I mean they live so deep in the ocean and they've been alive since before the dinosaurs, how could they possibly need conserving? Well let's talk about that. The answer to the first question is yes, but really that's the answer to every animal on the planet these days, but that's a whole other topic. Coelacanths, both the African and the Indonesian populations, do need conservation efforts. The main reason is that they are incredibly long lived animals. Recent research has shown that they may actually live 100 years or more. And, while this is exceptionally cool, it can also mean that they are slow to increase their population. Coelacanths don't reach sexual maturity until somewhere between 35-50 years. That means they have to live at least that long before they can create more coelacanths. The latest population numbers for Latimeria chalumnae, the African coelacanth, is estimated at just around 250 to 500 individuals. Latimeria menadoensis, the Sulawesi coelacanth, is estimated at somewhere around 10,000 individuals. We have to take the numbers with a large grain of salt because counting coelacanth individuals is extremely tricky due to the fact that they live in extremely deep waters. Both species are listed on the IUCN Red List. This is the list that organizations all over the word use to determine what kind of protections should be developed for various species of wildlife including animals, insects, and plants. The African coelacanth is listed as critically endangered and the Sulawesi coelacanth is listed as vulnerable. Beside the fact that they reproduce so slowly what other threats are modern coelacanths facing? Those of you that are loyal listeners can probably guess what I'm about to say, human activity. Yes. This species that is older than a dinosaur and survived a planetary extinction event is losing its battle against humankind. I find that I have no words to portray how very sad this makes me.  Ever since the coelacanth was rediscovered in 1938, fisherman have taken advantage of scientific interest in them. Selling them for research purposes really hit its stride after the 1980's. Before then, fisherman often just threw them back and if the coelacanth was lucky they might have survived the pressure changes of the water. But, once scientific interest in studying the coelacanth boomed in the 1980's, fisherman began trading them for payment or other things the fishermen needed with interested scientists.  A coelacanth can be caught fairly easily with a small, primitive boat and a long fishing line. They don't struggle much when you pull them up and native fisher's knew just where to look to catch them. To encourage fishermen to stop catching coelacanth, they were provided with more seaworthy boats so they could venture farther out to sea to catch other types of fish, which also took them away from the coelacanths favorite habitat. This worked well until the boats fell into disrepair and then fishermen fell back to their old habits that they could practice using their simpler boats.  Today coelacanths must avoid two separate deep sea fishing industries.  One is the oil fisheries. This industry looks to capture large fish for the use of their oils. We have a lot of fish oil in various items that we consume, vitamins and supplements, cosmetics, and dog food just to name a few. These oils have to come form somewhere. If you can catch large fish you can use fewer of them to harvest what you want. The problem with this is that taking only a few individuals from a slow growing species greatly impacts their reproductive abilities. We're not catching coelacanths to use in the industry, they taste terrible, but they are getting caught in the nets that fisherman use to catch the other fish. This ancient fish has become bycatch of the modern day fishing industry. Another industry threatening the coelacanth, as well as another beautiful creature of the deep, is shark fin fishing. Shark fin soup is considered a delicacy in China and it used to be only for the very wealthy, but when the economy boomed for the middle class in China they all wanted what only the elite rich could previously afford. Shark fin soup was one of those items. Fishing for sharks skyrocketed. It is essentially illegal now but it still goes on and it is one of the most barbaric fishing industries human participate in. The sharks are caught and hauled out of the water. Fisherman only get paid for the fins themselves, so they slice off the sharks dorsal and pectoral fins, then toss the sharks back into the ocean where they are left to die a slow painful death.  Now that we have successfully depleted the oceans of a healthy population of fish, the fishing industry is diving deeper to catch sharks that live on the same waters of the coelacanths. They are using gills nets, a fishing device that is outlawed by many countries, to catch these sharks. Well, coelacanths are the same size as the sharks and they are getting caught in these gills nets along with the sharks.  In 2014, a method of deep water release was proposed and attempted to re-release bycatch coelacanths back into their deep sea habitat. A hook and a weight was connected to the coelacanth which was supposed to release as soon as the fish hit the bottom of the ocean in their preferred habitat. We're not really sure how it worked out because their is no data available, but it doesn't sound like the kind of idea that would work well.  On the bright side, coelacanths were given protection under the Endangered Species Act in 2016. This allows United States authorities to prosecute any one illegally trading or trafficking in the coelacanth items. It also often encourages other countries to look at what they can do to help as well. Once the Sulawesi coelacanth was discovered, the Indonesian people fully embraced their ancient resident. Many islands have taken to educating the locals about what a coelacanth is, and pride at living with and protecting this ancient animal is high.  The coelacanth is also protected under CITES and an area off the coast of Tanzania was declared a protected marine park in around 2019. The Tanga Coelacanth Marine Park limits fishing within its boundaries, but of course illegal fishing continues.  What can we do to help the coelacanth? Currently their are no organizations set up to gather funds to protect the coelacanth, but the best way to save them is to get the word out about them. These are some of the absolutely coolest animals out there, so tell everyone you meet about the coelacanth! Write your biology class paper on the coelacanth, paint it in art class, have a T-shirt printed up with its cute little face, and recommend this podcast on the coelacanth to everyone you know. The most powerful tool we have right now to save the coelacanth is awareness. Help me make sure this animal survives longer than the human race.   Thank you so much for joining me on this deep sea adventure with the coelacanth! It's been quite a ride and we're all better for having taking it.    If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me in two weeks for our second misunderstood animal series on Ten Things I Like About. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I'll give you a hint. Scales and rattles.      (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Wow. How is it you look better. I'm gonna need proof this exists. Proof what exists. THE KOOLAID MAN erupts through the wall. OH YEAH. I'm going to bed. MA! FRAN/SUPER JEWISH MOM Look all I got is matzos and coconut water. *colecanth growls scarily* FRAN/ SUPER JEWISH MOM AHHH! Bananas! I got bananas! You want some bananas?! COELACANTH Arg? COELACANTH, THE GIANT TERRIFLYING CLOUD MONSTER apparently Loves bananas {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Fossil Record

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2023 10:58


Summary: Join Kiersten as she takes a trip through time with the fossil record of the coelacanth.   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean   Show Notes: “Coelacanth Fish Fossils, Mawsonia Woodward, 1907,” by Prof. Dr. Sc. Norman Ali Bassam, Ali Taher, Mohammad Ahmad, Mostafa Khalaf-Prinz Sakerfalke von Jaffa. https://issuu.com “The first late cretaceous mawsoniid coelacanth (Sarcopterygii: Actinistia) from North America: Evidence of a lineage of extinct ‘living fossils'.” By Lionel Cavin, Pablo Torino, Nathan van Vranken, Bradley Carter, Micheal J. Polcyn, and Dale Winkler. PLOS ONE, https://journals.plos.org “Fossils of Cretaceous-Period Coelacanth Discovered in Texas,” by Sergio Prostak, SciNews, November 16, 2021. https://www.sci.news “Oldest coelacanth, from Early Devonian of Australia,” by Zeroing Johanson, John A. Long, John A Talent, Phillipe Javier, and James W. Warren. Bill Lett, 2006 Sep 22; 2(3): 443-446; doi: 10.1098/rsbl.2006.0470 “Earliest known coelacanth skull extends the range of anatomically modern coelacanths to the Early Devonian,” by Min Zhu, Xiaobo You, Jing Lu, Too Qiao, Wenjin Zhao, and Liantao Jia. Nature Communications 3, Article Number: 772 (2012) https://doi.org/10.1038/ncomms1764 “Ghost Lineages,” by Matt Wedel, 5/2007 and 5/2010. https://ucmp.berkeley.edu   Music written and composed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth and the ninth thing I like about this animal is its fossil record. Throughout this series I've talked about the fossil's of the coelacanth and how they are sometimes called a ‘living fossil', so I thought we should take a few minutes to look at their actual fossil record. As we have discussed before coelacanths are old. The first coelacanths lived about 400 million years ago in the Devonian period. This was approximately 170 million years before dinosaurs roamed the earth. No matter how many times I say it, it still blows my mind! The fossil record of the coelacanth, just like everything else about this fish, is actually quite interesting. Throughout their long history coelacanths have been thought to be evolutionary conservative which essentially means they haven't changed much, but when we look a litter closer at the various fossils we see a different story. Our modern living coelacanths look like something that swam right out of ancient history, but throughout their existence they have had several body shapes.  Let's look at the Devonian coelacanths. The best known Devonian coelacanth fossils come from the late Middle to early Late Devonian period. There are two early coelacanths that are well known, Gavinia and Miguashaia. These two genuses are considered primitive coelacanths because they are more like primitive lungfish and less like modern coelacanths in body form. What researchers look at to determine these classifications are the skull shape, the fin placement, and the tail.  If we compare the skull shapes, in layman's terms, of Miguashaia and Latimeria (as a reminder that is our modern coelacanth) the Devonian era  coelacanth's skull is broader and shorter, the body is shorter and more stout, and the tail is dramatically different. The Miguashaia tail technically has three parts like the modern coelacanth but the top fin is tiny while the bottom fin is much larger. The puppy dog tail portion of the tail that runs between the two fins sort of curves up a bit. The majority of the tail fin is below the midline and is square as opposed to the rounded tail of Latimeria.  These are the most well known fossils from the Devonian period and they are fully formed enough that they can be placed in the coelacanth timeline based on body shape. But these are not the only fossils found from the Devonian era. There were fossils found in Australia from the early Devonian period suggesting coelacanths are even older than we previously thought. Researchers are hesitating to use these fossils when phylogenetically classifying coelacanths because it's only a lower jaw bone. The existence of a dentary sensory pore in the jaw proves it is a coelacanth, as modern day coelacanths, as well as other fossils throughout the ages, have dentary sensory pores also. Now, there have been approximately 80 species of coelacanth fossils described from the Middle Devonian to the Late Cretaceous. The Late Cretaceous dates from 360 million years to 70 million years ago. In the Cretaceous period, two families of coelacanths are represented through the fossils that we have found. One is Latimeriidae and Mawsoniidae.  A scientific paper published in 2021, discussed the discovery of Cretaceous period mawsonid coelacanth fossils found in the Woodbine Formation in northeast Texas. The reason these fossils are important is that they expand the regional location of coelacanths. These are the first coelacanth fossils found in North America. We didn't know that they lived in the area of North America until these fossils were found. Researchers postulate that these coelacanths got here during the break-up of Pangea, but we need a lot more research before we have any solid theories. One of the things I wanted to know about ancient coelacanths was how big they were. It seems like when we go back in time, animals are always bigger than they are now. Like the dragonflies that used to be as big a VW Bug, sloths that were the size of an SUV, and sea scorpions the size of small sedan. Well, some of the coelacanth fossils that we have found are complete bodies and some have enough bones to extrapolate how big the fish was when they were alive. So we have a range from about two feet to thirteen feet! Our modern coelacanths seem to have settled somewhere in the middle.  Coelacanths were believed to have gone extinct during the Late Cretaceous period. Today we know that's not true, but until 1938 we hadn't seen any or more importantly, we hand't found any younger fossils. The last record we had of the coelacanth came from the Cretaceous period. You may be wondering how this is possible, I know I was when I started researching this episode. I found a great article from UC Berkley that helped me understand what happened to the missing evidence of coelacanths for the last 60 million years.  Lineages are important when studying the fossil record of any living things. Lineages are the unbroken chains of ancestors and descendants. They tell us who is related to whom. A ghost lineage occurs when a line of descent leaves no trace in the fossil record. This is what has happened to our beloved coelacanth. Now back to our question, how is this possible? How come we can't find fossil evidence of the coelacanth after the Cretaceous period. Living coelacanths reside in deep ocean waters near volcanic islands. To create fossils, whatever dies is preserved by layers of sediment and then exposed million of years later. If you are a deep water resident your fossils have to rise above sea level and eventually become exposed in an area where humans can find it, whether through natural erosion or paleontological digging. Well, most fossils are more than 70 million years old, so we haven't found younger coelacanth fossils yet because they're still hidden in the depths of the ocean where our modern coelacanths live.  Coelacanths are considered a Lazarus taxon. A Lazarus taxon is a group of living beings that reappear after a long period during which they were thought to be extinct. The name is based on the biblical story of Lazarus who was raised from the dead. There are typically two characteristics shared by Lazarus taxons. 1- They have a limited geographic range. 2-They live in an area where fossils rarely form. This certainly sounds like the coelacanth to me.  That is all for this penultimate episode of the coelacanth. The fossil record of this majestic fish is my ninth favorite thing about this long-lived animal.   If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for the final episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Limbs vs Fins

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2023 10:46


Summary: Are they limbs or are they fins? What are those things on the side of the coelacanth? Join Kiersten and a guest host to find out!   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean   Shoe Notes:  “Coelacanth Fossil Sheds Light On Fin-to-limb Evolution.” Science Daily, https://www.sciencedaily.com Anatomy: https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/fish/anatomy.html Music written and performed by Katherine Camp Oxford Languages Dictionary Merriam-Webster Dictionary Casey teaches her students all about cladograms!   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth and their crazy interesting fins is the eighth thing I like about this deep sea fish. Today I have a guest cohost joining me, my friend Casey. Thanks for joining me Casey.   Casey: You're welcome. Thanks for having me.   Kiersten: Casey and I have known each other for a long time. We met as zookeepers 18 years ago and became friends very quickly. Today, Casey is a biology teacher and when she found out I was doing this podcast she was excited to help me.   Casey: Coelacanths are extremely interesting and their appendages, or limbs, are interesting in their history.   Kiersten: Great! Today we're talking about limbs versus fins! I hope by now, listeners, you've all googled a picture of the coelacanth and have gotten a glimpse of their interesting fins.  In episode two, anatomy, I talked about the coelacanths special fins called lobed fins. They have six lobed fins.   Casey: I love their little limbs!   Kiersten: Me too! But I thought they were fins?   Casey: They do look like limbs.   Kiersten: I think we need to dive into this topic and learn a bit more.   Casey: I agree!   Kiersten: Let's start with some definitions. The Oxford Languages Dictionary says a limb is "a leg or arm of a person or a four-legged animal, or a bird's wing”. That completely leaves out the coelacanth, for sure!   Casey:  I agree! But the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition is “one of the projecting paired appendages of an animal body used especially for movement and grasping but sometimes modified into sensory or sexual organs.” I think that puts the coelacanth back in the limb arena!   Kiersten: Maybe…Let's hear Oxford Languages Dictionary's definition of fin: “a flattened appendage on various parts of the body of many aquatic vertebrates and some invertebrates, including fish and cetaceans, used for propelling, steering, and balancing.” That definitely sounds like the coelacanth.   Casey: I can't argue with that! But Merriam-Webster's definition of fin is “an external membranous process of an aquatic animal used in propelling or guiding the body.” I'm on the fence with this one. I wouldn't say that coelacanths have membranous fins.   Kiersten: Hmmmmm….I think what we need to do is look at what these fins can do.   Casey: You mean limbs.   Kiersten: Let's call them appendages until we get his settled.    Casey: Deal!   Kiersten: The coelacanth has seven appendages overall. Four are paired, two behind the gills, the pectoral fins, one on each side; two mid body on the bottom of the fish the pelvic fins, one on each side. Then there is one anal fin just in front of the tail on the underside of the fish and then two dorsal fins. They have eight if you include the tail. I think it's interesting in itself that they have eight appendages, that's quite a lot for a fish.   Casey: Yeah, what are they using all those appendages for?   Kiersten: Well the four paired fins on each side of the body move like paddles propelling them forward through the water. These appendages are able to rotate 180 degrees so they can probably use them to back up as well as more forward. The really cool thing about these four extremities is that they work in conjunction with each other. The right pectoral fin moves together with the left pelvic fin.    Casey: You mean like the way a horse walks?   Kiersten: Yes! It's a lot like how a many land mammals move their ….. oh, I see where you going with this. You just want me to say they're limbs!   Casey: Yes! Yes, I do!    Kiersten: Well, I think we might both get what we want from the next definition. Coelacanths are classified as a lobe-finned fish. This means that the flouncy part of the fins are attached to a stalk that projects out from their body. It actually looks like a paddle with a fin attached to the end.     Casey: That sounds like a limb…..and a fin.   Kiersten: Yes, I agree. Maybe we can agree that we're both right?   Casey: I can do that. Did you know that some lungfish, who are also a lobe-finned fish, actually use their fins to walk on land when they need too? If the vernal pond they are living in becomes too shallow, they can use their limbs to drag themselves across the land to another water source. Essentially they use their limbs to walk to another pond.   Kiersten: I guess it really is both a limb and a fin. Speaking of limbs, I just read a research paper, from way back in the early 2000's, that stated a coelacanth fossil actually helped scientists understand the evolution from fins to limbs in tetrapods. Tell us little about that.   Casey: I can! What you're talking about is called evolutionary classification which is a strategy that we tend to use now instead of taxonomy which only looks at physical attributes. Evolutionary classification is grouping organisms together based on their evolutionary history. So, we're looking at lines of evolutionary descent not just physical characteristics. These lines are called cladograms and they look like trees. They branch off at each different change. So, the cladogram where it's branching off to tetrapods, which is a four limbed vertebrate, is where their is a bit of a controversy involving the coelacanth. We are tetrapods. We may walk on two legs but we have four limbs. The big debate is whether the kingfish or the coelacanth is the direct ancestor of tetrapods. Now remember we said lungfish walk on their limbs to get to the next vernal pond. That is where the debate is coming from. I'd like to say there is an answer to this debate but there are three different cladograms and only one of them has the coelacanth as the direct ancestor to the tetrapod.   Kiersten: Is it descendent or ancestor? Casey: It's ancestor.    Kiersten: Okay. Because we're all tetrapods, right?   Casey: Right, but we would be a descendant of a coelacanth. Now I'm not talking like you grandmother or anything.   Kiersten: (laughs)   Casey: I'm talking millions of years ago. So coelacanths or lungfish would be the ancestors of tetrapods.  One version has the coelacanth as the direct ancestor, while another version has the lungfish as the direct ancestor, and the last version has both of them at the same branching. So, no solution to this debate as of yet. They've narrowed it down to these three options. No mater how you look at it though the coelacanth is Number 1 or Number 2.    Kiersten: So, he's still winning. (Laughs)   Casey: (laughs) Yes! He's still winning. He still in the trifecta. Either way it's still in the positive.    Kiersten: That is interesting! That's why I picked you for this podcast! I knew you'd understand that and be able to explain it better than me! Thanks for helping me talk about the coelacanth appendages today Casey.   Casey: You're welcome. I had a lot of fun!   Kiersten: Me too! And I think we both agree that coelacanth appendages are both limbs and fins.   Casey: I agree!   Kiersten: Well that is it for this episode, listeners. I hope you enjoyed a little debate about coelacanth appendages because it's my eighth favorite thing about them.   If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Reproduction

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2023 10:19


Summary: Coelacanth reproduction is the most mind-blowing episode yet! Join Kiersten as she digs deep into the life cycle of this ancient animal.   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean   Show Notes:  Anatomy: https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/fish/anatomy.html Vims Fish Collection: Coelacanth, https://www.vims.edu Goliath Grouper - https://marinesanctuary.org “New Scale Analysis reveal centenarian African coelacanths,” Kelig Made, Bruno Ernande and Marc Herbin, Current Biology 31, 3621-3628, August 2021. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2021.05.054 “Latimeria, the Living Coelacanth, Is Ovoviviparous,” by c. Lavett Smith, Charles S. Rand, Bobb Schaeffer, and James W. Ate. Science, 12 Dec 1975, Vol 190, Issue 4219, pp1105-1106; https://doi.org/10.1126/science.190.4219.1105 “‘Living fossil' fish surprises scientists with 100-year lifespan,” by Thomson Reuters. Science, https://www.cbc.ca/news/science/coalacanth-fossil-1.6074328 Music written and performed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth series and the seventh thing I like about them is how they reproduce. Strap in for this one listeners because this is the most mind-blowing episode of the coelacanth so far!  There are so many unbelievable facts about coelacanth reproduction I almost don't know where to start, but I have to start somewhere, so let's start with their maturation age.  Coelacanths are large fish averaging about five feet long with some individuals reaching six feet. With most large animals it takes some time to become mature enough to reproduce. For example, it takes elephants approximately ten years before they are ready to reproduce, blue whales, the largest animal alive today, mature around 15 years old, and Goliath groupers, a fish that can reach almost 8 feet in length, mature at about 20 years old. The coelacanth is no exception to this trend but they push it even farther than these three examples. A coelacanth becomes sexually mature at 55 years of age. That is an awful long time to survive before you can make more coelacanth.  When coelacanths are ready to reproduce, a mate must be chosen. We don't know what goes into this decision because we have not seen coelacanths copulating, yet. We don't know what females look for in a mate, we don't know if there is a mating ritual that males perform to attract females. We do know that most likely females choose the male and allow him to mate with her because fertilization is internal in coelacanths. I say this because other males of species that have internal reproduction or internal fertilization have various behaviors to attract females to them. The females pick the males that impress them most based on established criteria such as feather color, winning a fight with another suitor, or singing the best song.  We're already off to an unusual start because most scaled fish reproduce externally by laying eggs with males fertilizing the eggs after they are laid. Internal fertilization in fish such as sharks and rays is common but not so much in scaled fish. We do know with some certainty that coelacanths are probably monogamous. In a scientific paper published in 2013, researchers genetically studied two clutches of coelacanth eggs and their mothers. Both coelacanth females were Latimeria chalumnae, the African Coelacanth. One female had 26 embryos and the other had 22 embryos. Both clutches appeared to be close to birth when the females were caught and perished. Let's call the females with 26 embryos Clutch 1 and the female with 22 embryos Clutch 2. Results revealed that all the young of clutch 1 had four genotypes present. These were contributed by two individuals. The same results were reported for clutch 2. What exactly does this mean? It means only one male contributed his genetic material to the embryos. It was a different male for each female, but only one male contributed to the embryos. It's an extremely small sample size, but this leads us to believe that coelacanths are monogamous. The females, at least, may only mate with one male at a time.  Coelacanths are classified as ovoviviparous. For those of you who have listened to my caecilian series and remember the reproduction episode, you already know that ovoviviparous animals give live birth to animals that they incubate inside an egg that remains inside the female during development. This is what the coelacanth does. Now, you might be wondering how we know this since so much about their reproduction is still unknown. And that's a great question, how do we know?  In 1975, a gravid female was caught and upon dissection at the American Museum of Natural History, researchers found five young developing inside the oviduct of the coelacanth. These five young were attached to large yolk sacs. Since then other gravid females have been caught, as well, and dissection of these specimens has supported the findings of 1975. The female with 26 young in her oviduct appears to be the largest clutch discovered so far.  Coelacanth eggs are pretty big. They are approximately 3 1/2 inches in diameter. Compare that to the average chicken egg at a diameter of 1 1/2 inches and you get a feel for how big their eggs get. When the young are born they are around 12 inches in length and they look like tiny versions of their parents. How long does it take a 3 1/2 inch egg to become a 12 inch fish? Probably longer than you think.  Coelacanth females carry the young for up to five years. This is the longest gestation period of any animal that we are aware of at the recording of this podcast. Some species of sharks carry the young for three years. The coelacanth has them beat and it also explains why their eggs are so large. They need a good, long-lasting source of nutrition to develop properly.  Once the young are born, we lose track of them. With the research we've been able to do with live coelacanths, we haven't seen any young hanging around with adults so we assume that they must retreat to another habitat. There could be many reasons for this. They are much smaller than a full grown adult so they presumably eat different prey which means they could need a different environment in which to hunt. They might be escaping from their own parents territory because mom and dad might eat them. They may even move to higher depths or lower depths until they are much larger in size. Whatever the reason we have not seen any juvenile coelacanths, so for now their whereabouts remain a mystery. The last thing we know about coelacanth reproduction is how long they live. For many years we thought they lived about 20 years and that they were extremely fast growing, but a study released in 2021 changed that.  One way to determine a fish's age is to count the rings on their scales. Initial studies of coelacanth scales suggested a 20 year life span, but using a new technique involving polarized light researchers were able to see all the rings on the scales. The new data revealed that coelacanths can live up to 100 years. 100 years! This is also the study that determined they become sexually mature at 55 and they have a gestation period of five years. Who knew the rings on a fish's scales could tell us so much? That's all for coelacanth reproduction. I still can't get over all the amazing things I learned researching this episode and I know you are just as intrigued because it's my seventh favorite thing about coelacanths.  If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Hunting and Diet

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2023 11:26


Summary: How does this deep sea fish find food? Just like everything else with the coelacanth, it's fascinating! Join Kiersten as she explains how the coelacanth hunts and what it likes to eat.    For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean   Show Notes: “The coelacanth rostral organ is a unique low=resolution electro-detector that facilitates the feeding strike,” by Rachel M. Berquist, Vitaly L. Galinsky, Stephen M. Kajiura, and Lawrence R. Frank. Scientific Reports 5, #8962 (2015) https://doi.org/10.1038/srep08962 “The first direct evidence of a Late Devonian coelacanth fish feeding on conodont animals,” by Michel Zaton, Krzysztof Broda, Martin Qvarnstrom, Grzegorz Niedzweidzki and Per Erik Ahlberg. The Science of Nature 104, #26 (2017), https://doi.org/10.1007/s00114-017-1455-7 Anatomy: https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/fish/anatomy.html Music written and performed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth and their diet and how they hunt is the sixth thing I like about them. If you remember from episode two, Anatomy, coelacanths have what is called a rostral organ. This organ is believed to help them detect electric fields in their environment. Why do they need to detect electric fields? I love this question, listeners, and I'm proud of you for asking it! Some fish have the ability to detect weak, low frequency electric fields produced by living tissue that is in contact with water. These fish typically have some kind of electrosensitive organ that detects the electric fields and these fish tend to be meat eaters. See where I'm going with this? The electric fields that living creatures give off is how the coelacanth finds its food. Let's delve into the details of their rostral organ and see how this thing works. Most fish with an electrosensitive organ that have been studied have complex labyrinths of hundreds to thousands of sensory canals. These canals are distributed throughout both the top and bottom of the head and are also often found around the mouth. These canals are typically arranged in clusters that are reminiscent of a directional antenna. All of the canals connect to an electrosensitive organ. The layout of the canals allows the fish to sense other animals near it from several different directions. This can help them find food, recognize conspecifics, or detect predators when they are at close range. Every animal's electric field will be different and our fish can use those differences to discriminate between the animals near them.  The coelacanth's rostral organ is an electrosensitive organ but, just like everything else we've learned about so far, it's not quite like other fish's. To discover more about this organ, a team of scientists used an MRI machine on a preserved specimen of Latimeria chulumnae to get a good look at it. What they found was slightly unexpected but explained a few things that we'll talk about in just a moment.  The rostral organ of the coelacanth has only three sensory canals, as opposed to hundreds or thousands seen in other extant species of fish. These canals are called tubules and they are all restricted to a small area of the upper snout. They also have no electroreceptors connected to the lower surface of the snout or lower jaw. Seeing the smaller scope and size of the rostral organ, the researchers asked what good is it really doing the coelacanth.  Using the 3D images they got with the MRI, they approximated the sensitivity of each tubule which allowed them to estimate the range of the rostral organ. What they found was that the coelacanth can only detect animals directly in front of their snout. Their rostral organ is only a low-resolution electro-detector so they do not get any complex information from the electric fields they detect and the field must be very close to them. This makes them unique in living fishes that use electrosensory organs to detect prey because they cannot track the prey items movements. They have to wait until the prey is practically in their mouths before they sense them. Remember I said this studies' findings explained something about the coelacanth, well the is it. It explains why they hunt the way they hunt. When we first developed technology that allowed us to study live coelacanths in situ, we noticed a strange behavior. Sometimes coelacanths would drift along in a current with their heads down and their tails up, essentially in a headstand posture. We had no idea what was going on, until someone saw them snatch a fish. This is the way coelacanths hunt.  It's called drift hunting and it's a passive way of hunting. The fish just floats along with the current of the water and waits for the right prey to come along. Then BAM!, dinner is served. This explains why their rostral organ is so focused on the snout region of their body.  Once the coelacanth's rostral organ indicates that an appropriate prey item has approached within 10 to 20 centimeters in front of its mouth, it snatches it out of the water. The specific feeding mechanism of the coelacanth is called suction-inhalation. I don't think that really needs too much explanation. They suck their food into their mouth along with large amounts of water. This does explain why the coelacanth has such a large mouth. If you're sucking your prey in whole, you want to have a big mouth.  Coelacanths have well-developed protrusible jaws that are capable of great forward motion. Their extremely muscular lower jaw also contributes to their powerful suction-inhalation. They also have an expandable gular structure, under the chin, that helps increase the power and gape of the mouth. The intracranial joint that coelacanths have retained, while other species of fish have lost it through millennia of evolution, may also help with the flexibility of the head which in turn helps with mobility of the jaws. This suction-inhalation does allow them to hunt animals that other fish of their size cannot reach. Researchers have seen coelacanth suck animals out of hidey holes in craggy canyon walls. And this method of cap ture is fast! It takes only a second for the coelacanth to inhale a prey item. Inside the mouth, coelacanths do have three types of teeth. It does not appear that they use the teeth for grinding or shredding their food. It is more likely the teeth are there to prevent prey from escaping their giant maw. Now that we know how coelacanth find their prey, what kind of prey are they looking for? This is a good episode for great questions, listeners. Y'all are on a roll today! Coelacanths are classified as piscivores. Pisces is the Latin word for fish, but those of you born between February 19th and March 20th already knew that!  So a piscivore is an animal that eats fish. Coelacanth are not terribly picky about what they eat and their diet can include cuttlefish, squid, octopus, snipe eels, small sharks, and other benthic fishes. So, essentially whatever fits in their mouth.  It appears they've been eating like this since the beginning of their time on earth. In a research paper published in 2017, the first direct evidence of a coelacanth eating eel like animals was discovered in the digestive tract of a fossilized specimen found in Poland. The coelacanth came from the Late Devonian period and a remnant of the eel was found preserved in the digestive tract. They also found coprolite, fossil poop, possibly from the coelacanth with the same remnants inside. We can't know how these coelacanths hunted their food but we can now say that they've been eating the same kind of food for quite some time.  In 2000, researchers looked at where coelacanths hunted, how abundant prey items were where they hunted, and how much food they might be eating. They found that coelacanths hunted between 650 feet and 1300 feet below the surface of the water. They also measured prey density in relation to depth which increased as you descended deeper. I was a bit surprised by that actually. I thought there would be less prey as you moved further down. Maybe I need to do another series on some deep-sea wildlife. They also estimated how much food the coelacanths were eating during each hunting session. Assuming the individuals studied were 100% successful on each hunt, medium-sized individuals were consuming about 122 grams of food and large females were consuming 299 grams of prey. Doesn't seem like a lot considering an average sized Gala apple weighs between 150 to 250 grams. Although, an apple a day…right? That's all for this episode on the coelacanth. I hope you found their hunting behavior and their diet as fascinating as I did because it is my sixth favorite thing about them.      If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

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Coelacanth: Living Fossil

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2023 9:32


Summary: Is the coelacanth a ‘living fossil'? Join Kiersten and a guest co-host as they discuss this controversial topic.   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean   Show Notes: ‘Coelacanths as “almost living fossils”' by Lionel Calvin and Guillaume Guinot, Front. Ecol. Evol., 13 August 2014, https://www.frontiersin.org “Resolving the Phylogenetic Position of Coelacanth: The Closest Relative Is Not Always the Most Appropriate Outgroup”, by Naoko Takezaki and Hidenori Nishihara, Genome Bill Evil, 2016Apr; 8(4): 1208-1221, https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/bies.201200145#sec1-3-title Music written and performed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth and the controversy about whether they are a living fossil or not is the fifth thing I like about this ancient animal. Today I have a guest cohost joining me, my friend Casey. Thanks for joining me Casey.   Casey: You're welcome. Thanks for having me.   Kiersten: Casey and I have known each other for a long time. We met as zookeepers 18 years ago and became friends very quickly. Today Casey is a biology teacher and when she found out I was doing this podcast she was excited to help me.   Casey: I excited to talk about the coelacanth.   Kiersten: When the coelacanth was first rediscovered in 1938 by the Marjorie Courtaney-Latimer in East London, South Africa people immediately began calling it a “living fossil” with quotations because this fish had not been seen by modern humans expect in fossils. Today there is a big controversy over whether the living coelacanths actually qualify as a “living fossil.” Guess we should start off with a definition of “living fossil.”   Casey: Yes. One of the controversies is that there isn't a real definition of living fossil.    Kiersten: Ah! I could see how that could be a problem, but I thought Darwin had defined living fossil back in 1859.   Casey: He coined the term but it's not really a scientifically accepted word. It's just not measurable in scientific terms.   Kiersten: Okay, but I think we should let my listeners know what it is and so they can follow along. According to Darwin's definition a living fossil is a species or group of species that is so little changed that it provides an insight into earlier, now extinct, forms of life.    Casey: It can also be described as an organism that has remained relatively unchanged over millions of years, or one that has no, or very few, close surviving relatives.   Kiersten: Well that certainly sounds like the coelacanth to me!   Casey: Me too! But not all scientists agree.    Kiersten: I've heard of some researchers using RNA sequencing to determine whether they are living fossils. Can you explain this?   Casey: Certainly….You have to think about when the coelacanth was first discovered. In 1938 we didn't have a way to sequence genetics. Even in the 1990's when the second specimen was found we still didn't have the technology that we do now. We know now that the coelacanth have been changing internally all this time even if they still look very similar on the outside to fossil coelcanths.   Kiersten: Okay, so comparing this to Darwin's definition, they may look the same on the outside but on the inside they are different. Genetically speaking.   Casey: Yes. And looking at the second definition that I gave, once the second species was found in 1998 it voids that definition. There are now two related species or close surviving relatives.   Kiersten: So we can't call the coelacanth a living fossil any more. That's kind of sad.   Casey: I think so too! It's a neat phrase to use but not necessarily the best.    Kiersten: Let's recap. The coelacanth looks physically the same because maybe the habitat is the same as years ago, and they do not need to change physically because their habitat is basically the same.   Casey: Correct, that could be one of the reasons. What they have seen geographically they haven't seen much change on their habitat. Now. I'm not saying that their hasn't been pollution or other similar changes but there have been no changes that cause them to change physically. Molecule or genetic changes are a different story. What scientists are looking at are RNA changes.    Kiersten: Okay. We hear a lot about DNA, not so much about RNA. What's the difference?   Casey: DNA is deoxyribonucleic acid while RNA is ribonucleic acid. They are looking at RNA to determine where coelacanth fall on the phylogenetic trees.  Who are they more closely related to and such. The RNA changes are helping them determine that.   Kiersten: So, internally we have some changes but externally not so much.    Casey: Yes.   Kiersten: Thanks, Casey for this interesting debate and explaining RNA and living fossil research on the coelacanth!    Casey: Thank you for having me. I think coelacanths and their history are extremely interesting.   I hope you all enjoyed this look into the living fossil debate because it's my fifth favorite thing about the coelacanth.   If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     If you've heard any strange noises on today's episode, that's Edison, Casey's dog who joined us today, as well.    (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

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Coelacanth: Behavior

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2023 9:21


Summary: What are those coelacanth doing in the deep water of the ocean? Join Kiersten as she discusses some of the coelacanth's behavior.   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean.   Show Notes:  Coelacanth, Smithsonian, https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/fish/coelacanth “New Insights About the Behavioral Ecology of the Coelacanth Latimeria chalumnae Video Recorded in the Absence of Humans Off South Africa” by Jiro  Sakaue, Kazuhiko Maeda, Micheal J. Miller, Ryuichi Sakai, Koh-ichi Tahara, Hideki Abe, Kazuya Made, and Hitoshi Ida, Front. Mar. Sci., 10 November 2021, https://www.frontiersin.org   Music written and performed by Katherine Camp Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it.   This episode continues coelacanths and the fourth thing I like about this enormous fish is their behavior. Once again, I'm going to  state that we are still learning new things about the coelacanth everyday, so what I talk about in this episode is what we currently know, but the future may bring different information. As I mentioned in the last episode, coelacanths are a deep water fish. They are typically found between 250 feet to1300 feet below the surface. We can see them using specialized scuba diving equipment called ‘rebreathers' and by using submersibles. This technology has allowed us to study live individuals instead of the dead specimens that wash ashore or are, most often, caught as by-catch by fishermen. Because of this we know a lot about their anatomy, since many of the dead specimens have been dissected, but we don't know as much about their behavior. In the 1980's studying coelacanths with deep sea vehicles became the common practice in the Comoros Island area. Between 1986 and 2009 we studied this population with submersibles and remote operated vehicles, or ROVs. Using their spot patterns we determined that this population contained approximately 300 to 400 individuals. We also observed their basic day to day pattern.  A day in the life of a coelacanth consists of resting in caves at a depth of 500 feet to 800 feet during daylight hours. They will share caves with other coelacanths and smaller species of underwater life. The caves are carbonate caves formed during underwater volcanic eruptions. During the night, coelacanths leave the caves to hunt in even deeper waters. At least one individual was seen hunting in waters approximately 2000 feet deep. That's a third of a mile under the surface of the water! I can't even imagine the pressure these fish endure. In the Fall of 2000, a few individuals were encountered by divers in another area near South Africa called Jesser Canyon. This encounter actually was the first direct contact between humans and a live coelacanth. We then began focusing on this area, as well, to study the coelacanth. Between 2002 and 2004 submersibles were used to watch this area. Here they observed 21 individuals in 16 different locations in canyons off the coast of Sodwana Bay, South Africa. These individuals were seen at depths of 300 feet to 450 feet. These studies revealed that the coelacanths in this area were traveling between two canyons, Jesser Canyon and Wright Canyon. Research begun in 2018 wanted do something that had never been done before, study coelacanths without the influence or interference of humans. If you noticed in all the research I've detailed so far, the common thread was the presence of a submersible, human diver, or mobile ROV. We have no idea how these things might change the behavior of the coelacanths observed. We do know that the presence of unknown stimuli, meaning divers or ROVs, can alter the natural behavior of wild animals.  These researchers used fixed cameras set up in a known coelacanth resting places to record the fish's behavior without the presence of humans. They also wanted to record the ocean conditions such as temperature and current direction and velocity. To do this they placed two oceanographic recording devices near the study site. The main focus of this study was on the folding or unfolding of the first dorsal fin.  Now you might think, wow that's a lot of work to look at one trivial little fin,  but we've learned some of the most ground breaking things about animals by looking at one tiny little behavior, such as the eye movement of gorillas and the tongue flicking of snakes. This research actually shone a light on coelacanth behavior that we didn't even know we should be looking for! Okay, let's take a moment to look at the iconic coelacanth image. If you haven't yet googled the coelacanth, do so now and look at a few different photos of live coelacanths. Go ahead now, I'll wait. Unless you're listening to this podcast in your car. Do Not try to look up an image of the coelacanth if you are driving. Eyes on the road!  For those of you able to safely pull up images, look at that first dorsal fin. What do you notice about it in 98% of the pictures? It's unfolded and standing up right, correct? I'm actually looking at the cover of the book A Fish Caught in Time by Samantha Weinberg right now and the first dorsal fin is erect in the illustration of the coelacanth on the cover. Up until the 2018 research project, we thought this was just how the coelacanth naturally carried this fin. Now we did know they were capable of folding it up and down and we assumed this fin was used for stabilization during swimming. We might have been wrong about that. According to the data collected in the absence of human interaction, the dorsal fin raises when the coelacanth encounters a stressor.  In this research it was a sand tiger shark. They got great video of a coelacanth and a sand tiger shark in the same cave during the day. The shark showed no antagonistic behavior toward the coelacanth but while the shark was in the cave with the coelacanth, that first dorsal fin was raised. When the shark left the cave, the fin relaxed. They were other species of fish in the cave with the coelacanth as well and the fin was lowered while they were present.  This sand tiger shark was larger than the coelacanth and might have posed a threat to the coelacanth. There isn't any evidence that sand tiger sharks eat coelacanths but when you're a potential prey item you're not going to ask the shark if they going to eat you, you're going to take action. Raising the dorsal fin may be a way for the coelacanth to look bigger and ward off predators. This type of behavior has been well documented in other species of fish.   This observation floored me. It means that the presence of humans and ROVs is considered stressful to the coelacanth and our presence was probably changing the behaviors we observed. If we want to know more about them, we're going to have to come up with some unobtrusive methods of observation.  This research also studied temperature and currents near where the coelacanth were seen. Does this impact their behavior? It was observed that the coelacanth were present in the caves when the temperature of the water was between 59 degrees Fahrenheit and 71 degrees Fahrenheit. This has been seen in past research, as well. The researchers postulated that this is the optimal range for oxygen uptake in the coelacanth. The current direction was frequently southward and low in velocity when the coelacanths were seen at the study site, but more research will need to be done to determine if this is of any significance. Wow! I don't know about you but the coelacanth continues to amaze me. I'm glad you spent some time with me to learn about coelacanth behavior because it's my fourth favorite thing about this ancient fish. If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Habitat

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2023 9:23


Summary: Where do coelacanths live? Join Kiersten as she talks about the habitat of the coelacanth.   For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean.   Show Notes:  A Fish Caught in Time: The Search for the Coelacanth by Samantha Weinberg “Madagascar may be a secret stronghold for ‘living fossil' fish” by Stephanie Pappas, www.livescience.com African Coelacanth, NOAA Fisheries, www.fisheries.noaa.gov Coelacanth, Smithsonian, https://ocean.si.edu/ocean-life/fish/coelacanth Music written and performed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth and their habitat is the third thing I like about this amazing animal. We are still learning more and more about the coelacanth everyday. And one of the things we're still learning about is their habitat. Where exactly do these behemoths live? The information I'll give you in this episode is what we know to date, but the future could show us something different. When the coelacanth was discovered off the coast of South Africa eighty-five years ago we had no idea where it came from, but we did know where it was caught. The fisherman caught it off the coast of South Africa in the Indian Ocean at a depth of forty fathoms, or 240 feet. We didn't see another one until 1952. This one was caught near the Comoros Islands which is off the southeastern coast of Africa in the Indian Ocean. Now we had an idea of where we might find more. It wasn't until later that researchers went to the islands and talked to the native islanders asking about this giant fish. (Quick note here, we should do more of this. Native inhabitants of areas that others explore know a lot about local wildlife. Why reinvent the wheel when you have so much information right in front of you, if you are just willing to listen?) Now, back to the coelacanth. Locals of the Comoros Islands were familiar with the coelacanth and had even eaten them in the past. Focusing on this area, several more coelacanth were found. In 1998, more coelacanth were discovered in Indonesia, half a world away. The question was how did they get there? Did they migrate? Do they do that seasonally? Did a few get lost? Did they get washed away in a storm? Or have they been there this whole time?  Turns out, they'd been there the whole time. When the Indonesian coelacanth was discovered, scientists performed DNA tests to see if they were related to the African coelacanth or possibly a new species. Once again these ancient fish surprised us, the two populations were indeed two separate species. According to research available at the recording of this episode it looks like these two species may have evolved separately. The African coelacanth's scientific name is Latimeria chalumnae and the Indonesian coelacanth's scientific name is Latimeria menadoensis. I mention this because they were named after Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer the discoverer of the first specimen in 1938 and I think it's wonderful that this woman of science gets props for her discovery.  Before we get into where exactly these fish are found around the global let's talk about at what depths they are found. This first specimen found in 1938 was caught by fisherman at a depth of 40 fathoms or 240 feet. For quite some time we thought this deepwater depth is where they lived.  But we now know that they actually inhabit, mesopelagic waters, also known as the “twilight zone”, that reach depths of 650 feet to 1,300 feet. That's a lot deeper that we thought or ever expected. We're not sure why the original specimens were caught in the shallower depths, but they could have been hunting or they could have been ill and unable to control their swim bladders properly and floated up into shallower depths. More recent sitings of both species have been between 300-500 feet deep, so obviously these fish are doing something important at these depths. Now that we know at what depths the coelacanth can be found let's look at where in the world we can find them. Let's investigate the habitat of the African coelacanth, Latimeria chalumnae, first. These coelacanth are found in the Indian Ocean near the coasts of southeastern Africa, Madagascar, and the Comoros. The first one found in 1938 was caught off the coast of South Africa but after that no more were seen in the area. More specimens were found near the Comoros islands, that are situated between Madagascar and the east coast of Africa, in the 1950s so it was thought that the first one found in 1938 was a stray individual from the Comoros area. But when diving technology advanced, divers using “rebreathers” which allow to you dive deeper underwater than typical scuba gear, and later on researchers using submersibles, saw resident individuals in South African waters. Specimens have been caught off the coast of Madagascar  and off the coast of Mozambique and Kenya. Latimeria menadoensis, also known as the Sulawesi coelacanth is from Indonesia. Two specimens were caught off the island of Manado Tua at the northeastern tip of Sulawesi. Later two more were sighted 225 miles southwest of this island.  In both regions, coelacanth inhabit temperate waters near steep rocky slopes of volcanic islands. In the daytime, the Comoran coelacanths can be found clustered together in caves in submarine lava deposits. In the evenings they venture out to hunt. The two individuals observed from a submersible in Indonesia were seen in a deep carbonate cave at a depth of 500 feet. Both species seem to depend on caves, canyons, and cliff ledges for almost all aspects of their life. Sleeping during the day and hunting at night seem to be done in and around these structures.  in 2021 researchers found evidence that Madagascar might be an unknown haven for coelacanths. In a new review of Madagascar fishery bycatch, 34 specimens were confirmed to be coelacanths. These catches have never been reported to scientists or conservationists before now. This indicates that coelacanth may be living off the coast of Madagascar.  When we look at the history of this large island off the coast of Africa, it could be completely possible. Coelacanth are actually older than the island of Madagascar by about 330 million years, but Madagascar has had a coast line for around 88 million years; whereas, the Comoros Islands is only 15 million years old. Based on this history and recent bycatch reports, researchers think that Madagascar might be their ancestral home. More research will need to be done to find out if this is true, but it just one more thing that adds to the mystery of the coelacanth. I am so glad you went deep sea diving with me today to learn about the habitat and species of the coelacanth because it's my third favorite things about them. If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

UNTOLD RADIO AM
Monsters on the Edge #9 The Association of Cryptozoological Fieldwork & Analysis with Nate Brislin

UNTOLD RADIO AM

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2023 64:22


Born and raised in Maine, Nate Brislin is the creator of such documentaries as Pine State Phantoms and Eyes from the Pines: The Pine Ape Project and has been featured on Coast to Coast AM, Untold Radio AM with Doug Hajicek, and Paranormal 60 with Dave Scrader. Nate is the founder of the Association of Cryptozoological Fieldwork & Analysis with over 4,200 members worldwide.Don't miss out on this incredible episode and join the discussion.Click that play button, and let's unravel the mysteries of the UNTOLD! Remember to like, share, and subscribe to our channel to stay updated on all the latest discoveries and adventures. See you there!Join Barnaby Jones each Monday on the Untold Radio Network Live at 12pm Central – 10am Pacific and 1pm Eastern. Come and Join the live discussion next week. Please subscribe.We have ten different Professional Podcasts on all the things you like. New favorite shows drop each day only on the UNTOLD RADIO NETWORKTo find out more about Barnaby Jones and his team, (Cryptids, Anomalies, and the Paranormal Society) visit their website www.WisconsinCAPS.comThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/4602609/advertisement

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Anatomy

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2023 12:27


Summary: Join Kiersten as she takes you on a surprising journey from the head of the coelacanth to the tail.    For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean.   Show Notes:  A Fish Caught in Time: The Search for the Coelacanth by Samantha Weinberg https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/fish/anatomy.html Music written and performed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode continues the coelacanth and their anatomy is the second thing I like about this ancient animal. In the first episode we established that the coelacanth is a fish, so the anatomy should be like fish anatomy, right? Maybe, but this fish has been around for 400 million years and from comparisons between living specimens and fossils, they don't seem to have changed much at all. So the coelacanth has some anatomical surprises that other fish do not possess. Let's start at the head of the coelacanth and work our way back. In the center of the snout there is a large jelly-filled cavity. It's called the rostral organ. Scientists initially thought this might be an electrosensory organ for detecting weak electrical impulses given off by prey. This hypothesis was supported by examining the organ's intricacies including nerves and how it interacted with the brainstem. When submersible exploration became available to scientists, we were able to test this on a living coelacanth. Using electrical fields, researchers confirmed that coelacanths do indeed respond to electrical fields under water. There is no other vertebrate, that we know of, alive today that has a rostral organ. So we're already off to an interesting start. Let's see what else the coelacanth has that other animals may not! Moving to the mouth we find teeth. That's not entirely unique in fish that eat other fish and the coelacanth is a carnivore. They have three different shapes of teeth, one is a high, sharp cone-shaped tooth that could be called a fang, the second is a midsized, sharp cone-shaped tooth, and the last is a small rounded tooth.  What is unique to the coelacanth is that the small rounded teeth are embedded in a bony dental plate that lies beneath their chin. We're not entirely sure what the advantage of having a dental plate gives the coelacanth. In general, the teeth seem more like a way to keep fish in the mouth once they are sucked in versus tearing or chomping on their prey. The eyes are just above the mouth and they are attached to thick optic nerves. The eyes are large. I'd say they are in proportion to their body and they are a five foot long fish, so…large eyes. Each eye does have a few cones, which allows for color vision, but they many rods, which help detect light. This is perfect for the coelacanth because they live deep under water where there is very little light available. The rods help them see in almost near darkness.   They also have something else that helps them see in the dark and this is a layer behind the retina of the eye called the tapetum lucidum. If you've ever seen light flash in your cat's eyes at night, you're seeing the tapetum lucidum. This layer acts like a mirror reflecting the light that comes into the eyes back out of the eye to increase the amount of light that passes over the retina. This enhances the coelacanth's ability to see in low light. Just behind the eye toward the top of the head is the intracranial joint. Until we rediscovered the coelacanth this joint had only been seen in fossils of primitive fish. This joint allows the coelacanth to open its mouth exceptionally wide to swallow fish and other prey. Two powerful muscles cross the intracranial joint providing strength to the coelacanth's jaws. The coelacanth is the only fish alive that still has an intracranial joint.  Just under this joint and near the eye is the brain. The brain is small. It takes up only 1.5% of the brain case in mature adults. In a 90 lbs coelacanth the brain weighs less than a tenth of an ounce. That's a pretty tiny brain. There is no extant vertebrate with this much of a difference between the size of the brain and the size of the body. Although, they have been alive for 400 million years so it must be working.  Coelacanths do have gills like other species of living fish and they are located behind the eye in the usual place that you find fish gills. They are relatively small in comparison to the overall body size, but they are similar to other fish species found at the same depth as the coelacanth. The relatively small surface area of the lungs is indicative of a slow-moving fish as opposed to an active fish. All the evidence we have to date does show that the coelacanth is a relatively slow-moving fish. When you're a five foot long fish, you take your time getting places. This large fish is covered in scales and those scales are woven tightly together like armor. I think that seems appropriate for such an ancient animal. The scales are hard and rough to the touch. Each scale has tiny, tooth-like spikes called denticles all over the surface which creates the roughness. The hard scales and denticles provide protection against predators and rocks. The scales are a beautiful steely-blue color with random white spots throughout. The pattern of the spots is unique to each individual and scientists have used that to their advantage. Researchers use the spots like name tags to identify individual coelacanth. The fins of this fish are quite spectacular. They have six fins that are lobed and this puts them into a group of fish known as the lobed-finned fish. Lungfish and coelacanth are both included in this group.  What's the difference between a lobed fin and a normal fin? Great question! Lobed fins are fins that are attached to stalks that project out from the body rather than fins that are attached directly to the body. They look kind of like paddles sticking out from the side on the animal. The coelacanth has six lobed fins, one on each side just behind the gills called pectoral fins (2), one on each side of the pelvis called pelvic fins (4), one small secondary dorsal fin on the top of the body (5), and one anal fin on the underside of the body before the tail (6).  Overall the coelacanth has seven fins, not including the tail. The first dorsal fin is the only non-lobed fin. It's larger than the other fins and attaches directly to the body. It can be raised and lowered to change its surface area. We call the coelacanth a vertebrate because it has an internal skeleton which usually implies that it has vertebrae or bones of the spine. Once again the coelacanth surprises us. They have a notochord in place of a bony spine. A notochord is a thick-walled, fibrous, and elastic tube that is filled with oil. This is what the coelacanth has in place of a bony spine. Most creatures with a backbone replace the notochord with vertebrae in the embryonic stage. But adult coelacanth use the notochord for their longitudinal support. Like almost all other fish species,  the coelacanth has a swim bladder. Fish use the swim bladder to maintain buoyancy in the water. Most fish use air to inflate the swim bladder and they are able to modify the amount of air depending on the depth in which they wish to swim. I bet you didn't see this coming but…, the coelacanth's swim bladder is not filled with air! Okay, maybe you did see that coming. The coelacanth' s swim bladder is filled with oil and fat, but it works the same as the air filled bladder, helping maintain buoyancy.  That brings us to the end of the fish, also known as, the tail. Hopefully, you've listened to the first episode of this series where I talk about the rediscovery of the coelacanth, if not definitely check it out. When Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer rediscovered the coelacanth in 1938, she described the tail as looking like a “puppy dog tail.” The tail is actually divided into three sections with a small tail fin in the middle. The tail is flat and powerful giving the coelacanth the ability to dart forward forcefully when catching prey or escaping predators. The tail can rotate and flex from side to side and is thought to help the fish with trim and balance. That is all I have for coelacanth anatomy. Thanks for joining me on this head to tail adventure because it's my second favorite thing about the coelacanth.     If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast
Coelacanth: Rediscovered

Ten Things I Like About... Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2023 8:28


Summary: In 1938 something amazing happened in a small town off the eastern coast of South Africa. Join Kiersten as she reveals the unbelievable story of how the coelacanth, a fish thought extinct for millions of years, was rediscovered.  For my hearing impaired listeners, a complete transcript of this podcast follows the show notes on Podbean.   Shoe Notes:  A Fish Caught in Time: The Search for the Coelacanth by Samantha Weinberg Music written and performed by Katherine Camp   Transcript (Piano music plays) Kiersten - This is Ten Things I Like About…a ten minute, ten episode podcast about unknown or misunderstood wildlife. (Piano music stops) Welcome to Ten Things I Like About… I'm Kiersten, your host, and this is a podcast about misunderstood or unknown creatures in nature. Some we'll find right out side our doors and some are continents away but all are fascinating.  This podcast will focus ten, ten minute episodes on different animals and their amazing characteristics. Please join me on this extraordinary journey, you won't regret it. This episode begins a new series about an animal thought to have been extinct since the time of the dinosaurs, but as this episode will show the coelacanth has been here all along and this is the first thing I like about them. We'll begin with the unbelievable story of the rediscovery of this amazing animal. Let me set the scene for you: It's 1938 in the town of East London, South Africa. East London sits on the eastern coast of South Africa and harbors a bustling fishing industry. It's a hot and humid December day and the young, female curator of the East London Museum is hustling to get her newest exhibition completed before they close for the upcoming Christmas holiday. As Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer is painstakingly assembling a rare dinosaur fossil, a startling sound shatters the peace of the museum and her concentration. It's the ringing of the newly installed phone and she doesn't know it yet, but it's the sound of destiny calling.  On the other end of the phone is the manager of the Irvin and Johnson trawler fleet. Mr. Jackson would call Marjorie when his ships came back to port with specimens that she might be interested in for the museum. This day Majorie was so stressed to get things organized before the holiday break that she almost said No, but she didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with the shipping company manager. She decided to take a quick break and see what she could see. She had no idea what she'd find when she stepped onto the deck of the Nerine. Over the phone Mr. Jackson had indicated that several pounds of sharks were available for her perusal. The museum didn't need any sharks currently and Marjorie had decided that she'd most likely not take anything, but she took a look through the pile of fish on the forecastle deck anyway. She found sharks, seaweed, starfish, sponges, rat-tail fish, and many more. She carefully sorted through the pile but saw nothing she of interest which strengthened her reserve to take nothing that day.  About halfway through she noticed a blue fin, not the usual faire, and she dug down through slime and scales to take a closer look. What she'd found was a fish, a very unusual fish. A quote from the book A Fish Caught in Time: The Search for the Coelacanth by Samantha Weinberg expresses the discovery in Marjorie's own words. “I picked away the layers of slime to reveal the most beautiful fish I had ever seen,” she recounts. “It was five feet long, a pale, mauvy blue with faint flecks of whitish spots; it had an iridescent silver-blue-green sheen all over it. It was covered in hard scales, and it had four limb-like fins and a strange little puppy dog tail. It was such a beautiful fish - more like a big china ornament - but I didn't know what it was.” End quote. The fisherman who stood by watching, said in thirty years of fishing he'd never seen anything thing like it. They'd caught it at a depth of forty  fathoms, 240 feet, off the mouth of the Chalumna River. When the captain of the ship first saw the catch he'd thought it so beautiful he'd almost set it free. Marjorie's gut told her to take it.  She and her museum assistant, Enoch, wrapped the fish in a bag and transported it back to the museum to give it a more complete inspection. It was weighed and measured and Marjorie sketched a rough picture of this puzzling fish. The specimen weighed in at 127 pounds and a voice in Marjorie's head kept circling back to something she'd learned as a child in grade school. She'd gotten in a bit of trouble with her teacher and had to write a sentence as punishment. ‘A ganoid fish is a fossil fish.' She had to write it twenty-five times and; therefore, never forgot the statement. Essentially it means a ganoid fish is a fish that has long been extinct and is only seen in the fossil records. (As an aside, Ganoid also refers to a type of scale that can be found in extant fishes such as bowfin, gars, paddlefish, and sturgeon.) This sentence kept running through her head as she examined the fish in front of her, but logically it could not be a ganoid fish because this was a fresh specimen caught just that morning.  She looked through all the books she had on fish but nothing matched. She decided she must preserve the fish for future examination by someone with a bit more knowledge than herself. Preserving a five foot, 127 pound fish was not something that could be done in the museum, so she had to come up with some alternate plans. First she asked the mortuary if they'd place it in one of their lockers, since the were refrigerated. The mortician balked at storing a giant fish with the bodies of the human dead, he was worried what the town might think. Then she thought of the food storage building. It also hade refrigeration, but that was also a no go.  Her final option was the taxidermist and he was certainly up for the challenge. Between the two of them they wrapped the humongous fish in formalin soaked towels and stored it in the taxidermist's store. Next, Marjorie sent a letter to James Leonard Brierley Smith, a chemist lecturer at Rhodes University in Makhanda, South Africa. J.L.B. Smith was an amateur ichthyologist and acted as the honorary curator of fishes for the smaller museums along the south coast, such as the East London Museum. She asked for his help in identifying a strange fish she'd found and sent along her sketch of said fish.  Because of the holiday, his response was delayed several days. As she waited, Marjorie checked in on her find daily. Despite all their hard work the fish was inevitably deteriorating. The taxidermist had to get to work at his trade to save any portion of the fish. Finally, an answer came back from JLB Smith. It was most likely a coelacanth. Marjorie was gobsmacked. The coelacanth was a fish thought to have gone extinct during the time of the dinosaurs. They hadn't existed outside of a fossil for 65 million years, or so we thought. Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer's discovery shook the scientific community.   I hope this episode whet your appetite to learn more about the coelacanth because their rediscovery is my first favorite thing about these forgotten fish. If you'd like to know more about Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer and the rediscovery of the coelacanth, I highly recommend the book A Fish Caught in Time: The Search for the Coelacanth by Samantha Weinberg. It is one of my favorite non-fiction reads.    If you're enjoying this podcast please recommend me to friends and family and take a moment to give me a rating on whatever platform your listening. It will help me reach more listeners and give the animals I talk about an even better chance at change.    Join me next week for another episode about the coelacanth.     (Piano Music plays)  This has been an episode of Ten Things I like About with Kiersten and Company. Original music written and performed by Katherine Camp, piano extraordinaire.

Hörspiel
Bonus: «Gombessa tabou» von Michèle Rusconi und Glen Retief

Hörspiel

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2023 32:24


Michèle Rusconi erzählt im Interview mit Hörspielredakteurin Susanne Janson über ihre Expedition nach Südafrika, warum in ihrem Hörstück über den Quastenflosser auch der Bodensee und Christoph Marthaler mitspielen und wie das musikalische Archiv zum erträglichen Steinbruch wird. Ausstrahlung des Hörstücks "Gombessa tabou" am Samstag, 10. Juni 2023, 20 Uhr, Radio SRF 2 Kultur.  Dies ist ein Klangstück über den Coelacanth, den Quastenflosser, über Latimeria Chalumnae, den Urfisch, der 1938 zum globalen Megahit wurde, zum Symbol von Ausdauer und Widerstand, und dessen unerwartetes Auftauchen in einem Fischnetz an der Südküste Afrikas man erst für einen Witz hielt, nur um es dann als grösste wissenschaftliche Entdeckung des angehenden zwanzigsten Jahrhunderts zu feiern. Ein Hörstück an der Schnittstelle zeitgenössischer Musik und Wissenschaft mit einem lyrischen Essay und Narrativ, eine aufregende Geschichte über ein lebendes Relikt, Gedanken über das Anthropozän und die Widerstandsfähigkeit eines Fisches in einer sich verändernden Welt. „Und während ich im indischen Ozean an der Südküste Afrikas schwimme, denke ich an die Geschichte und Poesie dieses erstaunlich alten, widerstandsfähigen und ruhigen Fisches, und ich stelle mir vor, wie Hunderte Meter unter mir, unbeirrt und beharrlich, mein entfernter Verwandter und indirekter Vorfahre im Kreuzschritt über den Boden gleitet. Michèle Rusconi Die Schweizer Komponistin Michèle Rusconi hat sich mit unterschiedlichster Musik auseinandergesetzt und in mehreren Ländern und Kontinenten gelebt. 1979 war sie Mitglied des Basler Gamelan Orchesters. Sie reiste für mehrere Monate nach Bali und lernte dort Grantang und Joged Bumbung (Bambusinstrumente). Es folgte ein Studium am Berklee College of Music in Boston, (Piano Jazz), ein Bachelor of Performing Arts an der City University in New York, und eine dreizehn jährige Tätigkeit als Jazzpianistin. Im Jahr 2000 kehrte Michèle Rusconi zurück in die Schweiz und studierte Komposition bei Mathias Spahlinger an der Musikhochschule in Freiburg im Breisgau. Seit ihrem Master in Komposition in 2003 ist sie freischaffend, und ihre Musik wird von verschiedenen Ensembles in Europa und Amerika gespielt (Ensemble Phoenix Basel, Ensemble Meitar, Ensemble Aventure, Pellegrini Quartett, Amar Quartett, Ensemble Antipoden, New Juilliard Ensemble, Bugallo/Williams Duo und viele andere. In den letzten Jahren holte sich Michèle Rusconi vermehrt Inspiration für ihre Werke aus der Literatur wie aus wissenschaftlichen und nicht fiktionalen Texten. Dies führte zu ihrer ersten Taschenoper nach einem Theaterstück von Hanoch Levin für Sopran, Schauspieler und Ensemble, welche 2019 in Tel Aviv mit dem Meitar Ensemble uraufgeführt wurde. Es folgte eine zweite Taschenoper über Charles Darwin und dessen Reise auf der Beagle, angelehnt an Kurt Vonneguts Roman Galapagos und Jack Londons Before Adam. Italo Calvinos Cosmicomics, Kurzgeschichten über den Kosmos, dienten als Vorlage zu einem multimedialen Projekt für Schauspieler (Graham Valentine), Anna Clementi (Gesang), Projektionen und Trio qfwfq. Eine Zusammenarbeit mit Abril Padilla, wurde KOSMISONICS im Februar 2022 im Naturhistorischen Museum Basel uraufgeführt. Das Jahr 2022 stand ganz im Zeichen des Quastenflossers. Ein neues Hörstück, «from nutmeg to dodo», ein erneut von Pro Helvetia unterstütztes work in progress, befasst sich mit dem Aussterben des Dodo als direkte Konsequenz des holländischen Kolonialismus. Ein Stück über den Duft einer Nuss und eines flugunfähigen Vogel, über Macht und Gier, über die Zerstörung von Fauna und Flora und über ein verlorenes Paradies. Michèle Rusconi lebt in Basel und Berlin und reist wann immer irgendwie möglich. Die Produktion wurde unterstützt von srks/fsrc , Stiftung für Radio und Kultur Schweiz, Swissperform und Pro Helvetia. Die Route der Quastenflosser-Expedition Pretoria: Abfahrtsort und Ausgangsort – Clarence: Erste Station auf indirekten Weg in den Süden an die Küste – Ein verregnetes Golden Gate in benebelten Bergen – Bloemfontain: Hauptstadt der Provinz Free State. Besuch des Anglo-Boer Kriegsmuseums – Grahamstown/Makhanda: Besuch des JLB Smith Instituts oder SAIAB (South African Institute of Biodevrsity. Erste Besichtigung des zweiten, auf den Komoren gefundenen Quastenflossers – East London: Besuch des Museums mit Quastenflosser von 1938. Tour mit Kurator Kevin Cole – Kleine Munde und entlang der Wild Coast, wo Quastenflosser gesichtet wurden – Nach Port St Johns und Port Edward zu einem Treffen mit Rina Vato, Sangoma, spiritual leader – Durban: zum grössten Hafen Afrikas und Besuch des Aquariums – Sodwana Bay: der Ort, wo aktuelle Quastenflosser-Forschung stattfindet. Für «Gombessa tabou» wurden interviewt: - Mike Bruton, Ichthyologe, Wissenschaftler und Autor. - Kerry Sink, die treibende Kraft, Ichthyologin, Wissenschaftlerin und verantwortlich für die jetzige Expeditionen in der Region Sodwana Bay, an der Südküste Afrikas sowie Mitglieder ihrer Crew - Kevin Cole, Kurator des Museums in East London, wo der erst gefundene Quastenflosser ausgestellt ist - Mitarbeiter von SAIAB: South African Institute for Aquatic Biodiversity, JLB Smith Institute in Grahamstown, wo der komorische Quastenflosser liegt - Rina Vato, «Sangoma», eine spirituelle Figur - Gaël Clément, Leiter der Paläontologe in Paris im Jardin des Plantes Weiterführende Literatur zum Quastenflosser Mike Bruton: «When I was a Fish: Tales of an Ichthyologist»; Jacana Media, Illustrated Edition, 2016 Hans Fricke: «Der Fisch, der aus der Urzeit kam: Die Jagd nach dem Quastenflosser»; dtv, 2007 Keith Stewart Thomson: «Living Fossil: The Story of the Coelacanth»; W. W. Norton & Company, 1991 J.L.B. Smith: «Old Fourlegs»; Longmans Green & Co, 1956

The Spoon
EP 503: Coelacanth On Coelacanth Violence

The Spoon

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2023 73:47


This is The Spoon, where Steve Lauden is our guest, and we've owned a truck.  Music By  The Brothers Steve  Whiffs  Mo Troper  Spoon Feeding  The Orion Experience  Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio Star Trek: Picard (Season 3)  Gabba Gabba Hey: A Conversation With The Ramones Remember The Lightning The Men Of The Spoon Robbie Rist Chris Jackson Thom Bowers The Spoon on Twitter  The Spoon Facebook Group The Spoon Facebook Page Email: the_spoon_radio@yahoo.com

World Building for Masochists
Episode 98: Mysterious Worlds, ft. ANDREA STEWART

World Building for Masochists

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2023 62:08


Is your world so big because it's full of secrets? From lost civilizations to prowling cryptids, from Unidentified Aerial Phenomena to covert cabals, people love a good mystery, in real life and in fiction. So how can you build these mysteries into your world? Guest Andrea Stewart joins us to explore the possibilities! As you create your world, you might know more of its truths and secrets than your characters. What are you withholding from them? How much of their own world is known to them, and how much is beyond the fields we know, off the edges of the map, or hidden in plain sight? If something strange happens, what tools do they have for explaining it to themselves? Science, technology, religion, magic -- all these things and more may play a role in the mysteries of your invented world! (Also, because Cass promised: It's spelled "Coelacanth".) [Transcript tk] Our Guest: Andrea Stewart is the daughter of immigrants, and was raised in a number of places across the United States. Her parents always emphasized science and education, so she spent her childhood immersed in Star Trek and odd-smelling library books. When her (admittedly ambitious) dreams of becoming a dragon slayer didn't pan out, she instead turned to writing fiction. Her short stories can be found in such venues as Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Daily Science Fiction, Galaxy's Edge, and others. Her debut epic fantasy novel, The Bone Shard Daughter, was a finalist for the Locus Award for Best First Novel, the British Fantasy Award for Best Novel, the Goodreads Choice Award for Fantasy and Debut Novel, and the BookNest Award for Best Traditionally Published Novel. She now lives in sunny California, and in addition to writing, can be found herding cats, looking at birds, and falling down research rabbit holes.

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential
[The Last Episode] - (shit show(s) in description)

The Infinite Skrillifiles: OWSLA Confidential

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2023 22:44


[The Festival Project Presents: {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} THE LEGEND OF… THE INFINITE SKRILLIFILES GERALD'S WORLD & ASCENSION DEATHWISH LEGENDS THE INSOMNIAC {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} SEASON 6 - ACT II - PART II I almost left my Elfbar in Raton, But I couldn't let go; It just held on. I had to leave my skateboard back at home , But now I'm gone. Now i'm gone Now I'm sick to my stomach, I didn't want this Now I'm so sick to my stomach; I didn't want it And all the non believers, And all the sinners, saints together on a train, wishing to be rich or famous; Freedom, Plain and simple *very scary music* I warned you; No bloodshed in LA. [A single drop of blood hits the pavement with a splash, in a vivid slow motion close up of the gritty Downtown Los Angeles sidewalk] FLASHBACK; Have you ever heard of a blood oath? I knew something was wrong with that girl. It's not just that girl; It's this place. People do a lot of things to get by in LA. What is “get by” You're never gonna make it. Well, then; I was never going to anyway–so it really doesn't matter. “The Golden Girl” gal·lant adjective 1.(of a person or their behavior) brave; heroic."she had made gallant efforts to pull herself together" Similar: brave courageous valiant valorous bold plucky daring fearless intrepid heroic lionhearted stouthearted doughty mettlesome great-spirited honorable noble manly manful macho dashing daredevil death-or-glory undaunted unflinching unshrinking unafraid dauntless indomitable gutsy spunky ballsy have-a-go venturous Opposite: cowardly 2.(of a man or his behavior) giving special attention and respect to women; chivalrous."a gallant gentleman came over and kissed my hand" Similar: chivalrous gentlemanly courtly courteous respectful polite attentive gracious considerate thoughtful obliging mannerly gentle Opposite: discourteous rude nounARCHAIC /ɡəˈlant,ɡəˈlänt/ a man who pays special attention to women."he launches himself into a gallant's career of amorous intrigue" Similar: suitor wooer admirer worshipper beau sweetheart lover love beloved boyfriend young man man friend escort swain paramour verbARCHAIC /ɡəˈlant,ɡəˈlänt/ (of a man) flirt with (a woman)."Mowbray was gallanting the Polish lady" Gee' Mo had his hands all over me, which made me uncomfortable—but I had sworn solemnly to myself never to ‘tell' on any man again—and neither would I call them out, or make objections to their actions in any way; the age told story had always been ‘her word against mine ‘, making the woman or victim in question appear weak, and of course, untrustworthy—whatever that meant anyway, and not that any of his attempts were hostile, He knew I was openly celibate, and supposedly respected that—however, I just found it best to wholly keep him in the friend zone and keep the notion to myself, as he still seemed to have some kind of hope for something greater between us—and though I did consider him more than a friend, I considered him more like family than anything, his own blurred lines a shadow that had become too great to perhaps any longer be colegues—at least for now—especially that I was fleeing the US once more in complete secrecy—and though there had been some good work between the two of us, I wasn't equalling to his vibration anymore, his music sounded strange and off, and the words that would come to my mind were less easy than pushed or forced, and repetitive in sound and style. I knew that I was leaving, but had refused to tell anybody, especially Gee', who may have raised questions as to where I was going—something that seemed to be good to keep quiet entirely, as even earlier in the day I had tried to give my tour list to Equinox to see if I could bypass upgrading my membership to Destination by giving them a list of dates and cities I would visit and being given access to the visitors list in each city—I was however persuaded into not doing so and keeping my Desrination Stetus, as after attempting to give my home club my list of cities and dates, even against my own instinct and better judgement, the manager dawned a look in his eye that said “just lay low”, and as low as I could lay, I didn't know how long it would last with the onslaught of things I would have to do on my phone and computer over wifi during the long traveling time. Still, I wanted to travel lightly—and perhaps it was Divine intervention itself in the form of God when my $80 Nike backpack broke, leaving me scurrying for a new one that I could afford simply with the remaining balance on my gift card—luckily, I did find one that presumably fit my needs available for pickup, of course, even less high quality than the oversized “training” bag I had purchased just a few months before, not realizing that 32 Liters would be more than enough space, hard to fit under an airplane seat, and Ill-fitting the more petite I would become, or even as my weight fluctuated, just awkward looking in general—and though it was a very attractive bag, I had always thought it to be a little too ‘loud' and ostentatious, though I had become attracted somehow after being unable to return it as I had thought to when I had first ordered it, receiving the bag just before leaving Las Vegas, which I would return to the following day to retrieve the drum machine I had pawned as a matter of absolute survival. INT. TRAIN. WHENEVER. The best part about riding the train is… CUT TO: A FIREY PLANE CRASH CUT BACK TO: You can't fall out of the sky. (Ya.) SHIA LA— Fuck it. SHIA LABEOUF IS: “THE AIR MARSHALL” Ohh, what's this one about? Oh my God. I wasn't writing, and so I must have been in some way dead-I wasn't feeling even a whisp of inspiration, anymore—only annoyance, and slight suffering. The train ride had gone all too quickly, and though I had started chipping away at some projects, there was nothing finished. Though the inhuman vibration and hostile tone of LA was long behind me, something did linger on a bit, perhaps in the form of love or some other feeling or attachment I had formed during my time there. I was, myself, vibrating differently— waving into a motion of the unknown, and not that it mattered what would happen anymore—I hadn't anything to love, or anything to lose, and so everything just seemed a wash entirely. I had never been so dejected in my life. Now I gotta do some Sunnï Blū shit. —Hurry. Hurry what. We gotta go, Oh. Oh Deng. Oh dang. What happened? No, that's just what planet they're from. Dang. That's tricky. New York— Ehrhm. You look good. Hm. You cleaned up. Ya. Nice. Yeah it is. Nice. I said that.. Stop incepting me. No. Stop this please. Just stop sleeping. Okay. I wish you would die. I just did. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE. idobntknow. SUNNI BLŪ I DO WHAT I WANT. Fuck, What. That's Sunnï Blu Okay? She does what she wants. That's not SUPACREE. Is it not? No. What happened? S/he chanxed. I'm a “they” –And this is how it all makes sense. What is this fucking place. “East” Ugh. Oh, there's Toronto. That makes sense. Ew. I know right. UGH. LOOK AT ALL THIS POOP. I know, huh. LOOK AT IT. Don't do maps on kx5. Should we “Earth” We should Earth. Ew. What dimension is this? Fucking sick–gross. This isnt Earth. This is Earth! What happened to it. *coughs* It seems some demonic force has taken over. *coughs* Ew. This is fucked up. Should we leave. NO! *coughs* I mean –yeah, but we should at least try to figure out what happened first. *coughs* First?! Or, later–maybe *coughs*coughs*coughs* Yeah, lets leave. FUCK. What, dude, guh. I told you no deadmau5 on the train. No you didn't. I should have. I SHOULD HAVE KILLED THAT THING WHEN I SAW IT. How would you do that? THE DEADMAUS Go to sleep. K. Did you guys “Earth” Uh, yeah, but– Was it awesome? Uhm, no. No, dude. Why, what happened? We don't know. It was bad. “Adventure is allowing the unexpected to happen to you. Exploration is experiencing what you have not experienced before.” — Richard Aldington Schenectady Ahahaha Poughkeepsie lol what. All these are places. Yeah, I know. People live in these places . Oh My God. What. Where's Whole Foods? You need Jesus. Where's he at? JESUS CHRIST Timmy, this party is lit. TIMMY TURNER Yeah, thanks bro. JESUS CHRIST I love you. TIMMY TURNER (Leaving) K that's weird. IT DOESN'T What . MAKE ANY SENSE. I simulated this experience, in the construct of time In the confines of space—just to have this moment. Uh. Train—-To Deadmau5. [BLŪ Exercises Furiously] Train—To Deadmau5. [BLŪ boards the train hurriedly] SOMETIMES— UGH. I'm all wrapped up; Wrapped up in your love –But you never come for me I'm all wrapped up in your love Wonder what comes of it You never come for me I'm all wrapped up in your love; A half smile on my face; (l love you) Always thinking of you What else can I do, but To fee stupid Can't get over you, but As the sun comes up, I wander off, Remember us I guess it's a long walk Guess i'll just fall out of it About time… About that– I'm all wrapped up, yeah Wrapped up in your love Sonny Moore had inspired some of the greatest things i had ever written in my time; and all with just one look–two eyes, and no words at all, began an infinite unravelling of words from God's hands and into my minds eye. ASCENSION Rise of Ascencia Farro. …Your Majesty. I need help. Don't burden me with your woes. I beg your pardon? No, don't beg. THE SUITE LIFE OF SUNNÏ BLŪ LINDSAY LOHAN is sleeping FACE DOWN on the couch in SunnÏ Blū's Studio Lindsay, wake up. Mmfh. [Does not wake up. At all.] Lindsay. Mmf. Tequila. [Suddenly very awake, in fact; she has suddenly perked up with an amazing glow. ] *very serious knocks on the door* Oh shit. [suddenly, more drunk again] –oh shit. *three more knocks* Where's the tequila? SUNNÏ Ah, shit. Is that your lawyer, or your manager? Shit, maybe both. SUNNI. OPEN THE DOOR . –Might even be my agent, too. OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR. (Both, in cheesy unison, tiny rock concert} I CHIMED IN WITH A HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF— [Sunni opens the door.] No, it's “closing the door– not “open the door” “The Goddamn door.” Right, Goddamit. –where's the tequila. Where it is– [Sunni points in a wayward direction; Lindsay stumbles morning-aftery into the booth. Eww–”morning aftery” Not like that. *addendum* [That Is, just to say that this scene takes place in the afterdays haze of a very –Very Holy Shit , God. What. You rule. [Lindsay enters the booth and uncaps a bottle of tequila so effing fancy, it hurts to look at.] So fucking fancy. Was that lindsay lohan? Yeah it is. It's still Linsday Lohan, Morgen– –It's ‘Morgan”; –She's just over there now. Not “was”. Still is Lindsay Lohan. Presently. How are you even friends. FLASHBACK SUNNI BLU sup, Lindsay Lohan! LINDSAY LOHAN sup. Who are you? SUNNI BLU I'm Sunni Blū. LINDSAY LOHAN LIKE—the rapper?! SUNNI BLU Not “like”. Am. LINDSAY LOHAN tight. SUNNI BLU. Sup. LINDSAY LOHAN Sup. SUNNI BLU I heard you like to party. LINDSAY LOHAN I like to party. SUNNI BLU —and, you DJ. LINDSAY LOHAN Oh yeah, huh! I was a DJ once. SUNNI BLU so was I. CUT BACK TO: SUNNI BLU now we're besties. I might be trapped in this hell, here, I figure But it's over when it's over, I cannot live here, Or anywhere Here's my liver; All he needed was a sliver, the silver lizard But I gave him the whole thing The whole thing The whole thing I swallowed the whole world whole, once And now it all happens, Over and over; A simple digestion And I've got no questions left No intuition, either No black characters, No brown eyes; I hate my life I hate my life Blonde is good, And redheads are nice; I hate my life I hate my life ‘Rich white peope are so fucking nasty sometimes' I had the best and the worst of it at Equinox, and while I considered it a miracle that I had even come so far, as to consider luxury fitness a priority and absolute necessity, even forgoing eating what I wanted or other comforts in paying my gym dues, now I had given myself what I thought to be the opportunity of a lifetime—it was on my bucket list, at least last time I checked, to visit Equinox in every city the chain had locations—and having put all my time and every fiber of my being into just ‘staying afloat', my idea of ‘living a little' was to workout as much as possible, while I still could—-as money was well beyond running dry just out or the sheer expense of traveling—or now—“touring”, as I would consider it, using my music as a means of not appearing homeless and destitute, and using my podcast as a medium for its promotion—though, I still didn't know where my listeners or downloads were coming from, and my Spotify, the last I had checked, had “0 monthly listeners” it was beginning again to be clear how much the United States hated black people, for whatever reason— and how privelege and power had overtaken even the best people's better senses. Humanity was slipping away—and so was I; the best I could do was to make my body as comfortable to live in as possible, and for whatever reason, I was drawn to Equinox to do so. Anandar or someone like her had once said, the key to being rich, is to spend money like you're rich, no matter the amount of money you had—knowing that in doing so, your money would multiply tenfold. I had never done so before, but between Equinox and my food stamps being stolen, the amount of money I had been draining myself of did indeed make me feel and look as if I had endless disposable income—and perhaps I did somehow—somewhere in the near future , if I could just convince myself I really was as special as my writing made me seem, or feel, simply reading it myself, or having chosen a carefully select few to read it. I was, indeed, a genius: the problem was, geniuses and writers particularly up to then had been notoriously famous for dying alone, penniless and undiscovered, and very often—by our own hands. Eleven since, I left Hell, and been in Heaven since I'm heaven sent I burn incense —A CROSS DIMENSIONAL PARALLEL REALITY. The taste of bile filled my mouth and sat on the back of my tongue as I tried to avoid the inevitability of swallowing it; it had all been worth it—the train to Hollywood had not altogether been as horrible as it usually was on The Expo—and as I rode 9 stops exactly into my old stomping grounds, I exited the Hollywood and Vine metro station to a nostalgic and familiar territory; this is where my Hollywood story had started, and had apparently yet to end, as I swept the Walk of Fame in a way I supposed I never had, the shadow of my old self following not behind, but directly overhead; I was, indeed, just a ghost. I ended up at Amoeba Music, hair dripping wet, and, though I had yet to eat in a couple of days, not feeling as if I had quite done a proper workout, rushed in the final hour to Hollywood, as the downtown location had been closed; Fine by me, as I was over and done with the downtown atmosphere altogether, and though I wasn't a particular fan of the new Amoeba Music location, I had felt a close calling to go to Hollywood that day, even before I knew I would have to—and ending up there anyway seemed to be another synchronicity indeed. ‘Spend it on something you love.' The voice had said, perhaps just my own—but not sounding anything at all like my own internal dialogue. No, this voice seemed entirely more divine, and so I took it as such, and was careful not to spend any of the carefully collected and specially marked dollar bills on anything I absolutely didn't love—and though I was terrified of the overall outcome of everything—now jobless, or rather, without secured income—my job having become myself in the process of writing, making music, and improving my physique to its peak performance and physical fitness, I had been careful not to spend any money at all on anything I absolutely didn't need. However, I did need music after all, and loved it more than anything, besides my own son—who did at least ask about me, after all, according to my estranged ex, who I had shielded myself from entirely, changing my name, my number, and my location for my own safety and peace of mind, rather than for aesthetic reasons, as anyone might have thought. But really, no one might have thought at all, as I was careful to leave everyone and everything behind that had come with my birth name, besides my father, my son, and my beloved Auntie, who I still allowed to call me “Cree”, though I had at least hinted at at an aycronym of my new name, giving her my address in case of emergency, or any other reason. But, I hadn't enough money to pay my mailbox, and so even that was irrelevant, as everything was. Suicide By Cop. Maybe. Idk. Look: the tinier you are—the bigger my dick seems. I get it. So be tiny. I like cereal. I like cake. I like cookies. I like shakes. So you know what. What. That's okay. REAPER Give me my scythe, Billie. BILLIE ELLISH It's a miniature scythe. REAPER Yeah—my—miniature scythe. BILLIE ELLISH It's mine now. REAPER No, it's not— BILLIE ELLISH But—you gave it to me. REAPER It came with the job. BILLIE ELLISH The job sucked! REAPER I know that! “LIL' BITZ” I'm just mildly concerned that LAPD squad cars are still 1995 crown Vic's. Like: how do you even catch sometime in a mazzerati? The guy who drives a mazzeratti's like: hah. You don't. You know what it is You know what it is— You know what it is That's the business Comin in hot, like a chicken wing This ain't Toy Story—got no friend in me, You feelin me? Cold as Minnesota, I'm the ice queen Nice bling— Hollywood should buy this bitch a wedding ring Amphetamine Trick, you're a half, I'm the whole thing Whole Foods market, gotta own me No mink coat, I'm a vegan, Hocus Pocus, I'm three witches Okay, from the top Hello? This is Hollywood calling; We want the festival project We just wrote up the contract Come get your deposit: You're nominated for an Oscar Your Star On The Walk looks Awesome it's On Us Yeah? That's what's up I'll come up I'll come up I'll come up Say what's up That's my shite; I'm rep in the festival project Ya'll like “what's that?” I'll tel you all about it,—that's Coming up next Oh yeah, Oh yeah Tune in I'm On Welcome to your Hollywood life The good life Good life Welcome to the Hollywood life That's right That's right Welcome to your Hollywood life The good life Good life Welcome to the Hollywood life That's right That's right They call me young Hollywood, They robbed me good in Santa Monica And I so I got no address yet; But I'm coming up like one direction I just checked my reflection like: Mirror mirror on the wall I gotta go Hollywood's callin And I don't do this often Only when o bless the red carpet Comin in hot, like a chicken wing Call me Toy Story— got a friend in me, You feelin me? On the big screen livin out my dreams, I wrote my scenes, the Hollywood life: I neee I ride by On a tomeline I write, I like My nice things. The life I lead, Is ritghteous, I defy my means Applied IT, I might be AI, Fine my me; Cause all I see Is light I like, And I'm liking my Hollywood life, I think. It's just some Hollywood shit Isn't it fabulous This is some Hollywood shiy Isn't it fabulous You know what it is You know what it is— You know what it is That's the business One door close. Then another door opens So sick flow, go home with a cold then Woah, Hoe—cold like some snow boots Pants so big, I can parachute (PARIS SHOOT) Hoes look fake, like a blow up doll Harlem shake, i'm bout to blow up ya'll We think we may have found your home planet. Oh, you think? Look at this. [DUFF views the distant soarkling object through the telescope lens, squinting.] Is that it?! I don't know… [Suddenly, as DIFF begins to focus on the planet; a high pitched ring only DUFF seems to hear strikes her away from the telescope, writhing in pain.] Woah, what happened?! Are you okay?! Is she okay?! [DUFF falls into a coma] What, no way. WhT is this. It's a show. WhTs it called. Idk. Shut up. You shut up. I'm watching —shhh! Call the doctor! MEANWHILE, IN HOLLYWOOD Girl. Hm. Look at these motherfuckets* Ooh, keep that. Wow. Huh. The entire reason for turning on my phone was to write about that experience. Which experience? I don't know, I've had like ten experiences since I walked into that door—and I wanted to write about all of them. Uh huh. But I lost it. You lost it? Not all of it. Well. Some of it. Which ones did you keep? The Good ones Oh shit, it's almost coming back to me Uh. First of all. —French people in love are cute. What. That shit is literally the cutest thing ever. French people—in love—speaking French. That shit is sexy Did you see his eyes? That's okay, Cree— I ‘That'll be enough. Ugh. Now, class— It's time for a sonnet, or synonym Senators, gentlemen— Get in your rhythm and trip to this; Cause it's about to get lit again: Call me illiterate, ignorant, negligent; Never irrelevant, disheveled or leveled since, This entrance is Heaven sent Evidence of everlasting natural intelligence That'll do. Okay. Let's break fast, I make gas, And bake snacks; I lay facts I slay slacks I'm maybacks You may ask Questions about the lesson, With a raised hand —okay class? . . . Oh— You forgot it was a lesson? Let me reflect and inspect, Resurrect the message just a bit— I'm the profession, If I ask, They answer “Yessir” I guess, er Thet yur just a jester Dunce hat on your ass Last, and rhe past semester, Ask my sweater: Your girl would probably wear it If I let her Oooh. Equinox+ (EP) Love brings me out of my shell; —I could love you, I I could love you, I Could love you, I Could love you, I love you I love you, I This isn't good for my health; If you don't love me,oh well — (I could love you, I) This is just passing the time, Count my dimes and, I'm wealthy, you build me up Shining, I wake you up Diamond of mine, I love you, I Love you I Do what I want most the time, Cause nothing else matters but Making you mine I, so what I want most the time I can't get out Out of my mind, Cause I love you I love you I, Wasting my time, I could love you but Nevermind Drunk, And I'm stumbling up to my apartment for The 30th time this month, My rent's due tomorrow, but I got it, Woah, I've got just enough Just to keep fuxkin up Getting fucked up And filling my cup Like it's something, But it's nothing, Not really Nothing, Not really Be good Work it out Come on Work it odd Be good Shake it off Work it out Come on Be good, Work it off, Work it out— Come on Be good Work it out Shake it off Come on — We all know There's a monster in there And it wants let out; All man, beware— Yeah We all know There's a monster in her— And, Someone will let it go Oh, Someone let it go Oh, no (oh yeah) Oh, no That's no good That's no good Oh no (Oh yeah) Oh no (Oh yeah!) No, no You just had to let it go You just had to let it go Oh, no! — I need time To rationalize my genius I can't write light this Alt right all white nationalists I can fantazize, right? I could die like this It's a damn good life What fucking time is it, anyway? Right? I can't rationalize, this Fascist rats at The Fashion district Bam, I had it— I had to get right, man I had to get God on my Mantras I fucked up tomorrow, I'm off in Toronto with problems And dogma— Who's dog is this Tied up at the Whole Foods market I tried it, I died in the in I can't idolize idols, man Cry, though, Dip my bicoff in Chiapas coffee All pissed off, Woah It's the wrong morning to wallow in Caught me off guard at the offering Sha, there's no mother here, No other one, You're wrong God, I stopped to cross at all of them, I suffered when I swallowed, Rah, What's wrong? I'm feeling solemn on my sodomist Wishes of This centrifugal —‘swimming with the fishes, Get it? Woah, It's a whole open world of Wizards and witches I wish I could ditch this —the center or attention is this city— That's Alex Tribec, for the record Fuck the TriBeCa fest Rest in Los Angeles Rest in peace Barbra Hah— I've got all of em This is an awful lot of mantras, Stars and Stripes. God; I lost it at the Oscar's, Turn me on, or off I'm all of it Or not What was the cost of this? An awful lot of mantras, stars, And crosswalks, To stop dead in the center of “I'm miserable That's Hollywood for you, God, That's Hollywood, That's where we dropped you off — Have you had enough, yet? How was is? Enough! I'm not even fully up yet! Fuck, It was loveless, All up in ashes, I told ya, That “fun is a friend of the devil “ Burn in sense, Just rub out the sense Have my lips on your hips, Just rotate, As the earth did, In difference, she has Impatience is his imperfection “Eventually,” She says, “I'll see him” He tends to agree, Within reason— Winter breezes and freedom, This season Envy leaves, But she's gonna get even Come in threes, And maybe, We'll see then. Come to the surface, Come up— Don't give up yet Give what you've got; Half a lung, And the other is under— Come on, Come up, Come all— Come, you're walking on water! No wonder they call for you On earth — (We've got a Hot One, for you) Have you ever wondered What's wrong with us all? Fuck— Hollywood's calling, I don't have my phone on me Hollywood called, But your voice Mail is full, What? I finally picked up; The message at the tone, Was in Morse code Billy fit the Playbill, I signed it “usnavi” Yo, You look just like me A sacrifice? A sacrifice, I said, I'm red, I'm jealous like I've never been That's right, blue eyes then Next lifetime Fu— They robbed me of all my art As a hobby Worshipped for All I've got Not a god yet, but Gotta be working on something That's all of it, Gotta be knocking it off, Full of gossip and God, I want love But it's not in the cards, huh New Joan Of Ark, Where's the war That you wanted Not enough talk, But I've done enough walking Gosh, Two thumbs up, All applause from the audience That what you wanted? Yeah! “God I want love but it's not in the cards yet” That's what you wanted? Yeah! That's what you wanted 10.60 2.94 7.75 Strange things happen when you change your vibration to Skrillex. It had been a fucking disasterous 24 hours l; not that I hadn't expected it to be, with Vegas in mind as the shithole capitol of the world, or at least the US, which was indeed turning to shit. Street after street filled with bodies, nearly dead but not—and not a care in the world at all by anyone who could help for the working class, nearly succumbed to poverty, or the homeless, by the millions in numbers rather than the mere thousands the false media portrayed as still an absolute crisis and state of emergency, however downplaying the numbers by millions, as they had already learned that the docile American public could be persuaded or made to move with numbers by the “pandemic”, a fear mongering new world order which had proved that almost no Americans could do math, or anything besides scroll and take selfies. GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS. Oh no. Not Skrillex Day, is it—? ITS SKRILLRX DAY, BIIITCH. Ugh. Fuck Yeah, you lil bitch. I'm spaced out, listing to Skrillex on sunset No shuffle I forgot about this one: It makes my lips numb This bitch dumb I'. Just a number! I don't really give a fuck ! If I had a Benz and blunt— I'd prob'ly roll my windows up Sunni with da big butt Come and get ya duck sucked I would say sunni blū But then I'd probably get some Crips up Ignorant indigenous ninjer Bendit like bender remember Send er a message when you get here Mister Fuck, I hate this. RULES OF TRAVEL ENTER THE MULTIVERSE SEASON 6 - ACT II I almost left my Elfbar in Raton, But I couldn't let go; It just held on. I had to leave my skateboard back at home , But now I'm gone. Now i'm gone Now I'm sick to my stomach, I didn't want this Now I'm so sick to my stomach; I didn't want it And all the non believers, And all the sinners, saints together on a train, wishing to be rich or famous; Freedom, Plain and simple *very scary music* I warned you; No bloodshed in LA. [A single drop of blood hits the pavement with a splash, in a vivid slow motion close up of the gritty Downto Los Angeles sidewalk] FLASHBACK; Have you ever heard of a blood oath? I knew something was wrong with that girl. It's not just that girl; It's this place. People do a lot of things to get by in LA. What is “get by” You're never gonna make it Well, then; I was never going to anyway–so it really doesn't matter. gal·lant adjective 1.(of a person or their behavior) brave; heroic."she had made gallant efforts to pull herself together" Similar: brave courageous valiant valorous bold plucky daring fearless intrepid heroic lionhearted stouthearted doughty mettlesome great-spirited honorable noble manly manful macho dashing daredevil death-or-glory undaunted unflinching unshrinking unafraid dauntless indomitable gutsy spunky ballsy have-a-go venturous Opposite: cowardly 2.(of a man or his behavior) giving special attention and respect to women; chivalrous."a gallant gentleman came over and kissed my hand" Similar: chivalrous gentlemanly courtly courteous respectful polite attentive gracious considerate thoughtful obliging mannerly gentle Opposite: discourteous rude nounARCHAIC /ɡəˈlant,ɡəˈlänt/ a man who pays special attention to women."he launches himself into a gallant's career of amorous intrigue" Similar: suitor wooer admirer worshipper beau sweetheart lover love beloved boyfriend young man man friend escort swain paramour verbARCHAIC /ɡəˈlant,ɡəˈlänt/ (of a man) flirt with (a woman)."Mowbray was gallanting the Polish lady" Gee' Moo had his hands all over me, which made me uncomfortable—but I had sworn solemnly to myself never to ‘tell' on any man again—and neither would I call them out, or make objections to their actions in any way; the age told story had always been ‘her word against mine ‘, making the woman or victim in question appear weak, and of course, untrustworthy—whatever that meant anyway, and not that any of his attempts were hostile, He knew I was openly celibate, and supposedly respected that—however, I just found it best to wholly keep him in the friend zone and keep the notion to myself, as he still seemed to have some kind of hope for something greater between us—and though I did consider him more than a friend, I considered him more like family than anything, his own blurred lines a shadow that had become too great to perhaps any longer be colegues—at least for now—especially that I was fleeing the US once more in complete secrecy—and though there had been some good work between the two of us, I wasn't equalling to his vibration anymore, his music sounded strange and off, and the words that would come to my mind were less easy than pushed or forced, and repetitive in sound and style. I knew that I was leaving, but had refused to tell anybody, especially Gee', who may have raised questions as to where I was going—something that seemed to be good to keep quiet entirely, as even earlier in the day I had tried to give my tour list to Equinox to see if I could bypass upgrading my membership to Destination by giving them a list of dates and cities I would visit and being given access to the visitors list in each city—I was however persuaded into not doing so and keeping my Desrination Stetus, as after attempting to give my home club my list of cities and dates, even against my own instinct and better judgement, the manager dawned a look in his eye that said “just lay low”, and as low as I could lay, I didn't know how long it would last with the onslaught of things I would have to do on my phone and computer over wifi during the long traveling time. Still, I wanted to travel lightly—and perhaps it was Divine intervention itself in the form of God when my $80 Nike backpack broke, leaving me scurrying for a new one that I could afford simply with the remaining balance on my gift card—luckily, I did find one that presumably fit my needs available for pickup, of course, even less high quality than the oversized “training” bag I had purchased just a few months before, not realizing that 32 Liters would be more than enough space, hard to fit under an airplane seat, and Ill-fitting the more petite I would become, or even as my weight fluctuated, just awkward looking in general—and though it was a very attractive bag, I had always thought it to be a little too ‘loud' and ostentatious, though I had become attracted somehow after being unable to return it as I had thought to when I had first ordered it, receiving the bag just before leaving Las Vegas, which I would return to the following day to retrieve the drum machine I had pawned as a matter of absolute survival. The best part about riding the train is… CUT TO: A firey plane crash CUT BACK TO You can't fall out of the sky. (Ya.) SHIA LA— Fuck it. SHIA IS “THE AIR MARSHALL” Ohh, what's this one about? Oh my God. I wasn't writing, and so I must have been in some way dead-I wasn't feeling even a whisp of inspiration, anymore—only annoyance, and slight suffering. The train to chugs I had gone all too quickly, and though I had started chipping away at some projects, there was nothing finished. Though the inhuman vibration and hostile tone of LA was long behind me, something did linger on a bit, perhaps in the form of love or some other feeling or attachment I had formed during my time there. I was, myself, vibrating differently— waving into a motion of the unknown, and not that it mattered what would happen anymore—I hadn't anything to love, or anything to lose, and so everything just seemed a wash entirely. I had never been so dejected in my life. Now I gotta do some Sunnï Blū shit. —Hurry. Hurry what. We gotta go, Oh. Oh Deng. Oh dang. What happened? No, that's just what planet they're from. Dang. That's tricky. New York— Ehrhm. You look good. Hm. You cleaned up. Ya. Nice. Yeah it is. Nice. I said that.. Stop incepting me. No. Stop this please please. Just stop sleeping. Okay. I wish you would die. I just did. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE. idobntknow. SUNNI BLŪ I DO WHAT I WANT. Fuck, What. That's sunni Blu Okay? She does what she wants. That's not supacree Is it not? No. What happened? S/he chanxed. I'm a “they” –And this is how it all makes sense. What is this fucking place. “East” Ugh. Oh, there's Toronto. That makes sense. Ew. I know right. UGH. LOOK AT ALL THIS POOP. I know, huh. LOOK AT IT. Don't do maps on kx5. Should we “Earth” We should Earth. Ew. What dimension is this? Fucking sick–gross. This isnt Earth. This is Earth! What happened to it. *coughs* It seems some demonic force has taken over. *coughs* Ew. This is fucked up. Should we leave. NO! *coughs* I mean –yeah, but we should at least try to figure out what happened first. *coughs* First?! Or, later–maybe *coughs*coughs*coughs* Yeah, lets leave. FUCK. What, dude, guh I told you no deadmau5 on the train. No you didn't. I should have. I SHOULD HAVE KILLED THAT THING WHEN I SAW IT. How would you do that? THE DEADMAUS Go to sleep. K. Did you guys “Earth” Uh, yeah, but– Was it awesome? Uhm, no. No, dude. Why, what happened? We don't know. It was bad. “Adventure is allowing the unexpected to happen to you. Exploration is experiencing what you have not experienced before.” — Richard Aldington Schenectady Ahahaha Poughkeepsie lol what. All these are places. Yeah, I know. People live in these places . Oh My God. What. Where's Whole Foods? You need Jesus. Where's he at? JESUS CHRIST Timmy, this party is lit. TIMMY TURNER Yeah, thanks bro. JESUS CHRIST I love you. TIMMY TURNER (eaving) K that's weird. IT DOESN”T. What . MAKE ANY SENSE. I simulated this experience, in the construct of time In the confines of time and space—just to have this moment. Uh. Train—-To Deadmau5. [BLŪ Exercises Furiously] Train—To Deadmau5. [BLŪ boards the train hurriedly] SOMETIMES— I'm all wrapped up; Wrapped up in your love –But you never come for me I'm all wrapped up in your love Wonder what comes of it You never come for me I'm all wrapped up in your love; A half smile on my face; (l love you) Always thinking of you What else can I do, but To fee stupid Can't get over you, but As the sun comes up, I wander off, Remember us I guess it's a long walk Guess i'll just fall out of it About time… About that– I'm all wrapped up, yeah Wrapped up in your love Sonny Moore had inspired some of the greatest thing i had ever written in my time; and all with just one look–two eyes, and no words at all, began an infinite unravelling of words from God's hands and into my minds eye. Farro. …Your Majesty. I need help. Don't burden me with your woes. I beg your pardon? No, don't beg. LINDSAY LOHAN is sleeping FACE DOWN on the couch in SunnÏ Blū's Studio Lindsay, wake up. Mmfh. [Does not wake up. At all.] Lindsay. Mmf. Tequila. [Suddenly very awake, in fact; she has suddenly perked up with an amazing glow. ] *very serious knocks on the door* Oh shit. [suddenly, more drunk again] –oh shit. *three more knocks* Where's the tequila? SUNNÏ Ah, shit. Is that your lawyer, or your manager? Shit, maybe both. SUNNI. OPEN THE DOOR . –Might even be my agent, too. OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR. (Both, in cheesy unison, tiny rock concert} I CHIMED IN WITH A HAVENT YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF [Sunni opens the door. No, it's “closing the door– not “open the door” “The Goddamn door.” Right, Goddamit. –where's the tequila. Where it is– [Sunni points in a wayward direction; Lindsay stumbles morning-aftery into the booth. Eww–”morning aftery” Not like that. *addendum* [That Is, just to say that this scene takes place in the afterdays haze of a very –Very Holy Shit , God. What. You rule. [Lindsay enters the booth and uncaps a bottle of tequila so effing fancy, it hurts to look at.] So fucking fancy. Was that lindsay lohan? Yeah it is. It's still lindsay logan, Morgen– –It's ‘Morgan” –She's just over there now. Not “was” How are you even friends. FLASHBACK SUNNI BLU sup, Lindsay Lohan! LINDSAY LOHAN sup. Who are you? SUNNI BLU I'm Sunni Blū LINDSAY LOHAN LIKE—the rapper. SUNNI BLU Not “like”. Am. LINDSAY LOHAN tight. SUNNI BLU. Sup. LINDSAY LOHAN Sup. SUNNI BLU I heard you like to party. LINDSAY LOHAN I like to party. SUNNI BLU —and, you DJ. LINDSAY LOHAN Oh yeah, huh! I was a DJ once. SUNNI BLU so was I. CUT BACK TO: SUNNI BLU now we're besties. I might be trapped in this hell, here, I figure But it's over when it's over, I cannot live here, Or anywhere Here's my liver; All he needed was a sliver, the silver lizard But I have him the whole thing The whole thing The whole thing I swallowed the whole world whole, once And now it all happens, Over and over; A simple digestion And I've got no questions left No intuition, either No black characters, No brown eyes; I hate my life I hate my life Blonde is good, And redheads are nice; I hate my life I hate my life ‘Rich white peope are so fucking nasty sometimes' I had the best and the worst of it at Equinox, and while I considered it a miracle that I had even come so far, as to consider luxury fitness a priority and absolute necessity, even forgoing eating what I wanted or other comforts in paying my gym dues, now I had given myself what I thought to be the opportunity of a lifetime—it was on my bucket list, at least last time I checked, to visit Equinox in every city the chain had locations—and having put all my time and every fiber of my being into just ‘staying afloat', my idea of ‘living a little' was to workout as much as possible, while I still could—-as money was well beyond running dry just out or the sheer expense of traveling—or now—“touring”, as I would consider it, using my music as a means of not appearing homeless and destitute, and using my podcast as a medium for its promotion—though, I still didn't know where my listeners or downloads were coming from, and my Spotify, the last I had checked, had “0 monthly listeners” it was beginning again to be clear how much the United States hated black people, for whatever reason— and how privelege and power had overtaken even the best people's better senses. Humanity was slipping away—and so was I; the best I could do was to make my body as comfortable to live in as possible, and for whatever reason, I was drawn to Equinox to do so. Anandar or someone like her had once said, the key to being rich, is to spend money like you're rich, no matter the amount of money you had—knowing that in doing so, your money would multiply tenfold. I had never done so before, but between Equinox and my food stamps being stolen, the amount of money I had been draining myself of did indeed make me feel and look as if I had endless disposable income—and perhaps I did somehow—somewhere in the near future , if I could just convince myself I really was as special as my writing made me seem, or feel, simply reading it myself, or having chosen a carefully select few to read it. I was, indeed, a genius: the problem was, geniuses and writers particularly up to then had been notoriously famous for dying alone, penniless and undiscovered, and very often—by our own hands. Eleven since, I left Hell, and been in Heaven since I'm heaven sent I burn incense The taste of bile filled my mouth and sat on the back of my tongue as I tried to avoid the inevitability of swallowing it; it had all been worth it—the train to Hollywood had not altogether been as horrible as it usually was on The Expo—and as I rode 9 stops exactly into my old stomping grounds, I exited the Hollywood and Vine metro station to a nostalgic and familiar territory; this is where my Hollywood story had started, and had apparently yet to end, as I swept the Walk of Fame in a way I supposed I never had, the shadow of my old self following not behind, but directly overhead; I was, indeed, just a ghost. I ended up at Amoeba Music, hair dripping wet, and, though I had yet to eat in a couple of days, not feeling as if I had quite done a proper workout, rushed in the final hour to Hollywood, as the downtown location had been closed; Fine by me, as I was over and done with the downtown atmosphere altogether, and though I wasn't a particular fan of the new Amoeba Music location, I had felt a close calling to go to Hollywood that day, even before I knew I would have to—and ending up there anyway seemed to be another synchronicity indeed. ‘Spend it on something you love.' The voice had said, perhaps just my own—but not sounding anything at all like my own internal dialogue. No, this voice seemed entirely more divine, and so I took it as such, and was careful not to spend any of the carefully collected and specially marked dollar bills on anything I absolutely didn't love—and though I was terrified of the overall outcome of everything—now jobless, or rather, without secured income—my job having become myself in the process of writing, making music, and improving my physique to its peak performance and physical fitness, I had been careful not to spend any money at all on anything I absolutely didn't need. However, I did need music after all, and loved it more than anything, besides my own son—who did at least ask about me, after all, according to my estranged ex, who I had shielded myself from entirely, changing my name, my number, and my location for my own safety and peace of mind, rather than for aesthetic reasons, as anyone might have thought. But really, no one might have thought at all, as I was careful to leave everyone and everything behind that had come with my birth name, besides my father, my son, and my beloved Auntie, who I still allowed to call me “Cree”, though I had at least hinted at at an aycronym of my new name, giving her my address in case of emergency, or any other reason. But, I hadn't enough money to pay my mailbox, and so even that was irrelevant, as everything was. Look: the tinier you are—the bigger my dick seems. I get it. So be tiny. I like cereal. I like cake. I like cookies. I like shakes. So you know what. What. That's okay. REAPER Give me my scythe, Billie. BILLIE ELLISH It's a miniature scythe. REAPER Yeah—my—miniature scythe. BILLIE ELLISH It's mine now. REAPER No, it's not— BILLIE ELLISH But—you gave it to me. REAPER It came with the job. BILLIE ELLISH The job sucked! REAPER I know that! I'm just mildly concerned that LAPD squad cars are still 1995 crown Vic's. Like: how do you even catch sometime in a mazzerati? The guy who drives a mazzeratti's like: hah. You don't. You know what it is You know what it is— You know what it is That's the business Comin in hot, like a chicken wing This ain't Toy Story—got no friend in me, You feelin me? Cold as Minnesota, I'm the ice queen Nice bling— Hollywood should buy this bitch a wedding ring Amohetemime Trick, you're a half, I'm the whole thing Whole Foods market, gotta own me No mink coat, I'm a vegan, Hocus Pocus, I'm three witches Okay, from the top Hello? This is Hollywood calling; We want the festival project We just wrote up the contract Come get your deposit: You're nominated for an Oscar Your Star On The Walk looks Awesome it's On Us Yeah? That's what's up I'll come up I'll come up I'll come up Say what's up That's my shite; I'm rep in the festival project Ya'll like “what's that?” I'll tel you all about it,—that's Coming up next Oh yeah, Oh yeah Tune in I'm On Welcome to your Hollywood life The good life Good life Welcome to the Hollywood life That's right That's right Welcome to your Hollywood life The good life Good life Welcome to the Hollywood life That's right That's right They call me young Hollywood, They robbed me good in Santa Monica And I so I got no address yet; But I'm coming up like one direction I just checked my reflection like: Mirror mirror on the wall I gotta go Hollywood's callin And I don't do this often Only when o bless the red carpet Comin in hot, like a chicken wing Call me Toy Story— got a friend in me, You feelin me? On the big screen livin out my dreams, I wrote my scenes, the Hollywood life: I neee I ride by On a tomeline I write, I like My nice things. The life I lead, Is ritghteous, I defy my means Applied IT, I might be AI, Fine my me; Cause all I see Is light I like, And I'm liking my Hollywood life, I think. Nice bling— Hollywood should buy this bitch a wedding ring Amohetemime Trick, you're a half, I'm the whole thing Whole Foods market, gotta own me No mink coat, I'm a vegan, Hocus Pocus, I'm three witches It's just some Hollywood shit Isn't it fabulous This is some Hollywood shiy Isn't it fabulous Comin in hot, like a chicken wing This ain't Toy Story—got no friend in me, You feelin me? Cold as Minnesota, I'm the ice queen Nice bling— Hollywood should buy this bitch a wedding ring Amohetemime Trick, you're a half, I'm the whole thing Whole Foods market, gotta own me No mink coat, I'm a vegan, Hocus Pocus, I'm three witches You know what it is You know what it is— You know what it is That's the business One door close. Then another door opens So sick flow, go home with a cold then Woah, Hoe—cold like some snow boots Pants so big, I can parachutes Hoes look fake, like a blow up doll Harlem shake, i'm bout to blow up ya'll We think we may have found your home planet. Oh, you think? Look at this'd [DUFF views the distant soarkling object through the telescope lens, squinting.] Is that it?! I don't know… [Suddenly, as DIFF begins to focus on the planet; a high pitched ring only DUFF seems to hear strikes her away from the telescope, writhing in pain.] Woah, what happened?! Are you okay?! Is she okay?! [DUFF falls into a coma] What, no way. WhT is this. It's a show. WhTs it called. Idk. Shut up. You shut up. I'm watching —shhh! Call the doctor! DUFF! What's your name again? …Are you serious? No, I'm kidding. (No, I actually forgot what I named this character) I think it's “Joel” I doubt that. What was it. Idk, moving on. …did you forget? Yeah, I forgot. It's okay! Yeah, I guess. We found you!! Yeah. Sorry we destroyed the planet— —only like half. It's totally destroyed. It was like that before you guys landed. —? Just Trust me. Why does it look like somebody turned you upside down? I was “paralyzed” What's that mean? It happens here. That sounds horrible. This place sucks. It's really far. Girl. Hm. Look at these motherfuckets* Ooh, keep that. Wow. Huh. The entire reason for turning on my phone was to write about that experience. Which experience? I don't know, I've had like ten experiences since I walked into that door—and I wanted to write about all of them. Uh huh. But I lost it. You lost it? Not all of it. Well. Some of it. Which ones did you keep? The Good ones Oh shit, it's almost coming back to me Uh. First of all. —French people in love are cute. What. That shit is literally the cutest thing ever. French people—in love—speaking French. That shit is sexy Did you see his eyes? That's okay, Cree— I ‘That'll be enough. Ugh. Now, class— It's time for a sonnet, or synonym Senators, gentlemen— Get in your rhythm and trip to this; Cause it's about to get lit again: Call me illiterate, ignorant, negligent; Never irrelevant, disheveled or leveled since, This entrance is Heaven sent Evidence of everlasting natural intelligence That'll do. Okay. Let's break fast, I make gas, And bake snacks; I lay facts I slay slacks I'm maybacks You may ask Questions about the lesson, With a raised hand —okay class? . . . Oh— You forgot it was a lesson? Let me reflect and inspect, Resurrect the message just a bit— I'm the profession, If I ask, They answer “Yessir” I guess, er Thet yur just a jester Dunce hat on your ass Last, and rhe past semester, Ask my sweater: Your girl would probably wear it If I let her Oooh. Equinox+ (EP) Love brings me out of my shell; —I could love you, I I could love you, I Could love you, I Could love you, I love you I love you, I This isn't good for my health; If you don't love me,oh well — (I could love you, I) This is just passing the time, Count my dimes and, I'm wealthy, you build me up Shining, I wake you up Diamond of mine, I love you, I Love you I Do what I want most the time, Cause nothing else matters but Making you mine I, so what I want most the time I can't get out Out of my mind, Cause I love you I love you I, Wasting my time, I could love you but Nevermind Drunk, And I'm stumbling up to my apartment for The 30th time this month, My rent's due tomorrow, but I got it, Woah, I've got just enough Just to keep fuxkin up Getting fucked up And filling my cup Like it's something, But it's nothing, Not really Nothing, Not really Be good Work it out Come on Work it odd Be good Shake it off Work it out Come on Be good, Work it off, Work it out— Come on Be good Work it out Shake it off Come on — We all know There's a monster in there And it wants let out; All man, beware— Yeah We all know There's a monster in her— And, Someone will let it go Oh, Someone let it go Oh, no (oh yeah) Oh, no That's no good That's no good Oh no (Oh yeah) Oh no (Oh yeah!) No, no You just had to let it go You just had to let it go Oh, no! — I need time To rationalize my genius I can't write light this Alt right all white nationalists I can fantazize, right? I could die like this It's a damn good life What fucking time is it, anyway? Right? I can't rationalize, this Fascist rats at The Fashion district Bam, I had it— I had to get right, man I had to get God on my Mantras I fucked up tomorrow, I'm off in Toronto with problems And dogma— Who's dog is this Tied up at the Whole Foods market I tried it, I died in the in I can't idolize idols, man Cry, though, Dip my bicoff in Chiapas coffee All pissed off, Woah It's the wrong morning to wallow in Caught me off guard at the offering Sha, there's no mother here, No other one, You're wrong God, I stopped to cross at all of them, I suffered when I swallowed, Rah, What's wrong? I'm feeling solemn on my sodomist Wishes of This centrifugal —‘swimming with the fishes, Get it? Woah, It's a whole open world of Wizards and witches I wish I could ditch this —the center or attention is this city— That's Alex Tribec, for the record Fuck the TriBeCa fest Rest in Los Angeles Rest in peace Barbra Hah— I've got all of em This is an awful lot of mantras, Stars and Stripes. God; I lost it at the Oscar's, Turn me on, or off I'm all of it Or not What was the cost of this? An awful lot of mantras, stars, And crosswalks, To stop dead in the center of “I'm miserable That's Hollywood for you, God, That's Hollywood, That's where we dropped you off — Have you had enough, yet? How was is? Enough! I'm not even fully up yet! Fuck, It was loveless, All up in ashes, I told ya, That “fun is a friend of the devil “ Burn in sense, Just rub out the sense Have my lips on your hips, Just rotate, As the earth did, In difference, she has Impatience is his imperfection “Eventually,” She says, “I'll see him” He tends to agree, Within reason— Winter breezes and freedom, This season Envy leaves, But she's gonna get even Come in threes, And maybe, We'll see then. Come to the surface, Come up— Don't give up yet Give what you've got; Half a lung, And the other is under— Come on, Come up, Come all— Come, you're walking on water! No wonder they call for you On earth — (We've got a Hot One, for you) Have you ever wondered What's wrong with us all? Fuck— Hollywood's calling, I don't have my phone on me Hollywood called, But your voice Mail is full, What? I finally picked up; The message at the tone, Was in Morse code Billy fit the Playbill, I signed it “usnavi” Yo, You look just like me A sacrifice? A sacrifice, I said, I'm red, I'm jealous like I've never been That's right, blue eyes then Next lifetime Fu— They robbed me of all my art As a hobby Worshipped for All I've got Not a god yet, but Gotta be working on something That's all of it, Gotta be knocking it off, Full of gossip and God, I want love But it's not in the cards, huh New Joan Of Ark, Where's the war That you wanted Not enough talk, But I've done enough walking Gosh, Two thumbs up, All applause from the audience That what you wanted? Yeah! “God I want love but it's not in the cards yet” That's what you wanted? Yeah! That's what you wanted 10.60 2.94 7.75 Strange things happen when you change your vibration to Skrillex. It had been a fucking disasterous 24 hours l; not that I hadn't expected it to be, with Vegas in mind as the shithole capitol of the world, or at least the US, which was indeed turning to shit. Street after street filled with bodies, nearly dead but not—and not a care in the world at all by anyone who could help for the working class, nearly succumbed to poverty, or the homeless, by the millions in numbers rather than the mere thousands the false media portrayed as still an absolute crisis and state of emergency, however downplaying the numbers by millions, as they had already learned that the docile American public could be persuaded or made to move with numbers by the “pandemic”, a fear mongering new world order which had proved that almost no Americans could do math, or anything besides scroll and take selfies. GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS. Oh no. Not Skrillex Day, is it—? ITS SKRILLRX DAY, BIIITCH. Ugh. Fuck Yeah, you lil bitch. I'm spaced out, listing to Skrillex on sunset No shuffle I forgot about this one: It makes my lips numb This bitch dumb I'. Just a number! I don't really give a fuck ! If I had a Benz and blunt— I'd prob'ly roll my windows up Sunni with da big butt Come and get ya duck sucked I would say sunni blū But then I'd probably get some Crips up Ignorant indigenous ninjer Bendit like bender remember Send er a message when you get here Mister Fuck, I hate this. RULES OF TRAVEL Always leave things better than you found it. Well, I feel better, Thanks , God. Yep, no problem. Okay. *lays down momentarily* [half beat] Back to Work. [Suddenly Getting Up] OkayZ. Do ya'll remember—the time on the train. “ damn, I shoulda saw that movie with Carmella. This is hilarious. Watch. Agh, God. What is it. Now it's the hard part; I gotta do some technical shit. Mm. Like what: Put it on the net. don't. Uh. Too late, bitch. ::||pause. is this train gonna go. Is it. Innit. K. [train starts moving] Hm. I lost the thought, In awe of it all— The saga I wrote, and The words that would fall, All around me; The words that I saw, And the words that had found me The words that I was, And could not be without being Unh. That'll do. Lol what is up with this train. CONDUCTOR. Yo, it's me. Who the fuxk is this. What is this operation. Lol. Damn, what . 3D has its perks This is way beyond 3D. I know. bitch. **shh, don't cuss. What. It's for the kidsZ No, it isn't. It's for the kiddzzz. What. No. Yes: NoS For thee kids. So I turn 30 and my body keeps reminding me that I'm a baby machines Okay: What. Ew, that's gross. Lol. Only cause she's 30. What. Agism: it's real. EVERYTHING IS REAL. What. Uh. RAIL. —WHAt— —RAIL— Damn. … Zzz … SUPACREEA* is seated on the LOUNGE car in COACH. Don't capitalize coach. YOU're IN COAH. Oh hell yeah. What's in there. Not you. Okay, I'll be SUPACREE A, And you'll be SUPACREE B. Okay. You're not gonna disagree to being ‘B' instead of A, like me? I am you. I don't care. Fine. . . . I want to be SUPACREE B No take backs. SUPACREE A and SUOACREE B are DUPLICATES. DAMN, YOU DUPLICATED? Not on purpose! DAMN. This goes beyond shapeshiftig. I didn't know you could do that. I could do that. Oh. ‘Oh' Ugh I got this feeling in my soul— —I got this stone inside my palm— I got this pulling in my heart— —i feel like you could be the one; But you're gone, now Gone, gone, gone Gone gone, gone Gone, gone, gone Gone, gone, gone —and when there's no where left to run; —and there's no need to wander off— —and there is no one left to love— I guess I'll see you when you're gone Gone, gone, gone Gone gone, gone Gone, gone, gone Gone, gone, gone I'm gonna go ahead and take this on. Oh, God, No! —not because I want to; But why, then?! Because I gotta. You came a long way, kid. Where am I now? Oh, you're still nowhere. ITS NO FAIR. Life isn't fair, Amanda. But MoooooOO0000M. NO. BUT MO— NO—no SUPACREE show tonight! But— I told you, clean your room. I don't know what I am. You're a fairy. Pretty scary fairy. It'll do, though. WANDA. NO. COME, ON, WANDA NO. WANDA, COME ON. WAKANDA FOR— No, no black Panther. What, why not? That movie's racist. Wha-?! CUT TO: I didn't want to do it this way, kid. Who are you? The crypt keeper. Oh. Yeah. Am I Dead? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Hm. Yep. Can I see your scythe? You wanna see? Yeah, it's nice— *SCYLCE!* Lol. AOh my god AAAAHHHHHJH—Drake BELL. Don't worry, he's an ansolary character. Wat. Kinda. Damn. Season 6 is on FIRE THE HOLLYWOOD PEOLPLE ahem. Hollywood is on fire. SUPACREE WHELP. I'm out. No, don't go. SKRILLEX DONT LEAVE ME LIKE THIS. SONNY Fuck it, I'm in Korea. Or Thailand, or whatever. Something like that. “Something like that.” Ahem. Where's Dillon Francis. LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYONE FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. Damn. YeH, that. Well, God forbid anything actually happens to that guy. GOD I don't forbid anything. It's a free world. AHAHAHAHHAHA AHAHAHAHAHJAHAHJJA AHAHAHHA STOP. What. Go back. WhT. For. Just. Go back. For what. I thought I saw somethings Something like what. Something. Just. Ugh. JUST REWIND. SUPACREE has replaced the remote with THE SYNETHESIA PANEL MINI *life itself rewinds

united states america god tv jesus christ ceo music american new york spotify california ai hollywood earth master freedom coach las vegas work hell mexico magic running americans living french canadian walk dj girl chinese european green fire rich toronto stars japanese playing spanish cost minnesota write satan open train fashion adventure east strange gods 3d fame heroes cold divine mexican humanity legends mail burn mine television math millions shit cinema eat korea hole mirror gotta lol scream fuck caught diamond senators eleven refugees vine pi pants destination shake bitch excuse polish exploration similar gross metro shut expo wizards toy story copyright lie alt surface get up carpenter presenting flashback whole foods dope latin american tequila cry south park ka illuminati hurry wishes medicaid amish vic plain blonde i love fucking cc mm hocus pocus whoopi goldberg wrapped comcast sussex jimmy fallon diff int rail panther ill pretend dang golden girls footsteps anthology wasting equinox cree lapd stripes conductor lindsay lohan fascists owl hm dip morse whoop burbank hoes idk suicidal ignorant auntie gee sha duff skrillex benz ew impatience fry shit show oh my god aw tribeca caper goddamn chiapas crips alesso spirit airlines confirming open the door sunni fuckin jobless scarf ahem my lord brooklyn bridge specifics it doesn moo duplicate resurrect polished wha dillon francis drake bell ohh hah downtown los angeles aww heh unh rah yeh face down hillary duff uhh innit sunn mmf playbill hot one your majesty eww uhm zzz fuck yeah mowbray fuck it agh bitz raton freehand thet farro pondered liters wht timmy turner hell naw agism liverpool tottenham coelacanth hey jesus edgware mexican spanish amoeba music elf bar deface air marshall traini i can fly aoh only god knows sonny moore linsday lohan
Hidden Creatures
Chasing Chupacabras

Hidden Creatures

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2022 33:06


Chasing the Chupacabras: Join us for another adventure into the world of cryptozoology on the second episode of "The Hidden Creatures Podcast." This week, we'll be focusing on the mysterious and frightening Chupacabras. We'll trace the origins of this elusive creature, from its first sightings in Puerto Rico to its spread throughout the Americas. We'll examine the evidence that has been gathered over the years, including eyewitness accounts and physical evidence, and explore the scientific theories that have been put forward to explain the Chupacabras. We'll also look at some of the hoaxes and pranks that have been associated with this cryptid and try to separate fact from fiction. Additionally, we'll also be taking a look at two other unique and fascinating creatures - the Jackalope and the Coelacanth. So join us for this exciting episode as we explore the mysteries of the Chupacabras, the Jackalope, and the Coelacanth, and discover the truth behind these elusive creatures. Huge thanks to Benjamin Radford for the huge amount of research done in his book, "Tracking the Chupacabra: The Vampire Beast in Fact, Fiction, and Folklore".

Night of the Livid Punks!
Doomed Society Radio: v3, Ep 1

Night of the Livid Punks!

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2022 93:50


The next chapter of Doomed Society begins... now. On today's menu we have: Hellshock - speech of death Warkrusher - apostate Rigorous Institution - cainsmarsh Coelacanth - our own importance Storm of Sedition - when the clock stops Savageheads - heads of state Defiance - guns of revolution Long Knife - hello america Subversive Rite - idols for sale Blinding Glow - complicit silence Hope? - we wish you well The System - dogs of war The Moor - world turns black Rudimentary Peni - love is not Dogma - a new world Cry Out - your shame not mine The Ire - sooth and say Spectres - northern towns Silence - third from the sun Chain Cult - always a mess Nyx Division - orchid rain Sporus - pissorder i If you'd like to support my work by buying me a coffee, I certainly won't say no! http://ko-fi.com/doomedsociety Check out my photography at http://www.doomedsocietyshots.com

Whale of a Tale
S1E62 - Tales With a Whale: Coelacanth

Whale of a Tale

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2022 8:03


Join Betty the Whale and her sidekick Bubble the Seahorse for a new underwater game show extravaganza every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!

The Tonty and Dylan Show
Ep 1 - RC planes, the coelacanth, and China

The Tonty and Dylan Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2022 45:13


In the first ever episode of the Tonty and Dylan show, we discuss RC plane flying, the coelacanth's amazing comeback, Rep. Glenn Thompson, and China's influence on the world.

Curiosity Taught the Cat
Episode 47 - Coelacanth

Curiosity Taught the Cat

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2022 10:49


Welcome to Curiosity Taught the Cat! This week is about a living fossil, the Coelacanth! Be sure to check out all of our socials as well as our Patreon which you can find here: https://linktr.ee/CTtCPodcast --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

rose bros podcast
#91: Rob Zakresky (Coelacanth Energy) - 6 Exits, Energy Entrepreneurship & Why to Avoid Stupidity

rose bros podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2022 50:08


Hello and welcome back to episode #91 of the rose bros podcast!This episode we are joined by Rob Zakresky, CEO of Coelacanth Energy.Coelacanth Energy (SEE-luh-kanth), is a pure-play Montney growth company with a land base of ~100,000 acres located in the Two Rivers area of northeastern British Columbia.The company plans to expand production from ~400 to 25,000boe/d over the next 4 years, and began trading on the TSXV on June 20, 2022.Coelacanth is Rob's 7th energy company after his last company, Leucrotta Exploration sold to Vermilion Energy for approximately $500,000,000. Rob also graduated from the University of Alberta, and trained as an accountant before beginning his entrepreneurial career in the energy industry.We sat down for a smooth cup of rose bros coffee and discussed avoiding dumb things in business, operating through all energy cycles, starting another energy company, energy security, & why there's still opportunity in Western Canadian Energy. Also, this week's podcast was brought to you by Rundle Eco Services.Looking for a way to recycle your frac pond and pit liners used in the oil and gas industry?Rundle collects and processes liners using an environmentally friendly system, leaving a clean environmental footprint. The end use of these liners are shredded and processed into pellets that then can be extruded into various forms of usable plastic products including furniture, various building materials, industrial packaging etc.Checkout rundleco.com for more details on how you can recycle your industrial pond and pit liners today.Enjoy!Support the show

Arsenio's ESL Podcast
TOEFL iTP | Reading | The Coelacanth Fish

Arsenio's ESL Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2022 24:44


We're back! It's been SOOO LONG since I've done one of these, but it has reemerged from the dead! So many of my Mexicans and Indonesians have checked out my blog over the past 2 years, and the numbers continue to climb. So, I wanted to come back and do more!Early Access: https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-ibt/34154/monthly/buyTOEFL iBT Listening Course: https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-ibt-listening-courseTOEFL iBT Reading Course: https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-ibt-reading-courseTOEFL iBT Writing Course: https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-ibt-pre-writing-courseTOEFL iTP Course (Reading): https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-itp-reading/buyTOEFL iTP Course (Structure): https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-itp-structure/buyTOEFL iTP Course (Written Expression): https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-itp-written-expressionTOEFL iTP Course (Listening): https://arsenioseslpodcast.podia.com/toefl-itp-listeningInstagram ESL Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/arsenioseslpodcast/Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7hdzplWx6xB8mhwDJYiP6fFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Arseniobuck/?ref=bookmarksYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIzp4EdbJVMhhSnq_0u4ntABuzz sprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/165390

Terribly Vexed
Lazarus Taxon with Zookeeper Kevin Hunt

Terribly Vexed

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2022 118:49


On this episode of the Terribly Vexed Podcast, we interview zookeeper Kevin Hunt. Kevin has had a life-long passion for conservation and the protection of animals. He also has an extensive background in working with wildlife, including but not limited to primates, elephants, and reptiles. He has also been a consultant in a number of productions from television to movies and maintains many close professional relationships with doctors of veterinary medicine, as well as being up to date in all the latest scientific literature. Josh and Kevin have known each other since the earliest days of elementary school, and in a recent conversation Kevin suggested that we do an episode on newly rediscovered species being found around the world that were thought to be extinct. In this episode, Kevin explains how a lot of these discoveries are made and applies his own reasoned knowledge and experience to the controversial study of cryptozoology and the possibility of even stranger, more unusual, and yet unconfirmed creatures existing in the vast reaches of the yet unexplored regions of the Earth. The Tasmanian Tiger, McCord's Box Turtle, Takahe Birds, Dracorex Hogwartsia, the Coelacanth, Bigfoot, The Bloop, and The Loch Ness Monster...we cover it all! As always, if you enjoy the podcast or have any feedback, please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes. If you want to get in touch you can email us at terriblyvexedpodcast@gmail.com or hit us up on Instagram @terriblyvexedpodcast. LINKS: Lazarus Taxon Thylacine(Tasmanian Tiger) Info The McCord's Box Turtle The Takahe Bird Coelacanth Dracorex Hogwartsia Audio of THE BLOOP J.T. LeRoy?

A Different Direction
Freakylinks: Subject: Coelacanth This! – A Different Direction S01E04

A Different Direction

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2021


The Freakylinks gang deals with a bizarre set of monsters and one all-too-common one: the small town sheriff.

The History Cache Podcast
Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer and the Coelacanth

The History Cache Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2021 25:25


It was believed the Coelacanth went extinct along with the dinosaurs around 66 million years ago when the Chicxulub impactor smashed into planet Earth…that was until Marjorie Courtenay-Latimer, curator of the East London Museum, found one in a pile of fish on a dock in South Africa in 1938. This ancient fish surprised the scientific world when the first living specimen was pulled up by Captain Hendrik Goosen while he was trawling for fish near the mouth of the Chalumna River. The Coelacanth was dubbed a “living fossil” though it was eventually discovered that it has evolved over the last 400 million years. Come hear the story of how the determined Marjorie saved the world's first extant Coelacanth specimen, and what exactly makes this strange, ancient species so special.

WIRED Science: Space, Health, Biotech, and More
The Coelacanth May Live for a Century. That's Not Great News

WIRED Science: Space, Health, Biotech, and More

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 12:00


Scale markings reveal that this weird fish's lifespan is double what scientists first estimated. That also means they're closer to extinction than we thought.

Science AF
Dragon Man, Mars Mushrooms, Coelacanth Ages and the Common Nonsense of Vitamin C

Science AF

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2021 34:48


Fake Dr Ciaccio looks into the new classification of human species known as the Dragon Man, a new age study is bad news for the prehistoric Coelacanth fish, and in common nonsense: does Vitamin C do anything for us? Plus are those mushrooms on Mars?

Twin U
Twin U: Episode 5 - Coelacanth and Folie à deux

Twin U

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2021 49:53


This week the twins discuss a ‘living fossil' and the phenomenon of shared psychosis.