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I have never had the pleasure of having a guest quite like Michele Blood. While still living in Australia Michele was an extremely successful rock singer. One day she was involved in a serious accident while being driven to a gig. Her body was, as she says, quite battered and damaged. What is fascinating about Michele's story is how she discovered the value of positive affirmations that she used to heal everything. As she will tell us, it is not just saying affirmations, but rather it is truly believing what you affirm. Her music became an integral of what healed her.   Since her recovery Michele has traveled the world singing and speaking on stage with many well-known motivational and thought leaders. I leave it to her to tell the story.   During our episode Michele will sing one of her affirmation songs. I hope you are as moved by the song in specific and by Michele's attitude and mindset in general. She teaches us a lot that can have nothing but positives effects on your life.   I look forward to hearing what you have to say about my time with Michele. Don't forget to get her free gifts available only to listeners of the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Is that cool or what?       About the Guest:   Michele Blood is a successful, multi-talented lady. Michele was a successful songwriter and rock singer in Australia and after a near-fatal car accident, while in the hospital with many serious injuries, she created positive Affirmation Songs which not only healed her body but also took her to worldwide success. These Affirmation songs affect the left and right hemispheres of the brain. Lyrics, the left hemisphere, and melody and music, the right hemisphere so the new, positive messages go straight to the subconscious mind. This is why millions of people worldwide have downloaded her Affirmation Power songs. These songs cover healing, success, money, joy, confidence and they uplift the person immediately.   In addition to creating Magnet To Success™ products and seminars worldwide, her public Mystical Success Events have been held in over 26 countries. Michele has co-written and created over 80 books, music CDs, audio programs, TV shows, and videos on positive thought, mind transformation, and meditation.   Michele has appeared in many hundreds of podcasts, radio/tv shows, and magazines globally. After many years of meditation, Michele's Kundalini awakened and transformed her consciousness. Michele now teaches others how to live a Successful Life and experience Divine Oneness. Her Mystical Experience webinars and live streams have assisted people globally to transform their lives to the positive. Through her Teachings and Light Transmissions, people awaken and experience what they say is the impossible. They awaken to their true purpose and begin their path to Enlightenment. She has shared the stage and worked with Bob Proctor, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield, and many other transformational Authors and Teachers. Her latest book is The Magic Of Affirmation Power and her latest album is Create Miracles: Positive Affirmation Songs To Harmonize your Mind and Life. And her new Magnet To Money App will uplift millions worldwide.   Ways to connect with Michele:   https://www.MicheleBlood.com and https://www.YouTube.com/MicheleBlood   Michele would also love to gift your viewers and listeners her audiobook, "The Magic Of Affirmation Power" Your audience can download this free gift by going to: https://www.MicheleBlood.com/UnstoppableMindset   About the Host:   Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog.   Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children's Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association's 2012 Hero Dog Awards.   https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/   accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/   https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/       Thanks for listening!   Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!   Subscribe to the podcast   If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset .   Leave us an Apple Podcasts review   Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.       Transcription Notes:   Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us.   Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of unstoppable mindset where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected, which is really the most fun part, meet today. We are getting close to winter, and I was just telling our guest Michele Blood that here in Victorville, we had a temperature this morning of 28 degrees. Ah, lovely weather, and all the weather people complain about now it's getting cold in the summer, they complained it was getting hot. You know, you can't please them. I don't know what to say. But anyway, one of these days they'll, they'll decide that whatever happens is is not a bad thing, and they'll stop complaining, I guess. But any Yeah. But anyway, Michele, I want to welcome you to unstoppable mindset. We're really glad you're here. Thank you.   Michele Blood ** 02:06 Michael, I've been so looking forward to this. After reading thunder dog, I'm going to be reading the second book, which is live like a guide dog. I'm going to be reading that after that, I absolutely adore this book, which I'm showing right now, Thunder dog. It's the most inspirational you can't put down. I mean, the lot not just getting down 78 floors of the Twin Towers, 78 stairs. I mean, oh my gosh. But then everything that you've done in between working with you know Ray Kurzweil, who's done a lot of things in the music industry as well. I mean, I mean, I recognized his name straight away. I'm like, all the all the things you've done. I'm just so impressed by and by your life and how inspiring you are. And I just wanted to say that to everybody, he's just, you gotta get his thunder dog book if you haven't yet, and his new book, live like a guide dog, for sure.   Michael Hingson ** 03:02 I I don't know. I haven't totally kept up, but I haven't heard that anybody has yet come out with a music synthesizer that is better than the Kurzweil synthesizer. Now, a lot has happened, and maybe technology has advanced, but I hadn't heard about anything that still beats it.   Michele Blood ** 03:20 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the fair light was pretty amazing when that first came out, but the Kurzweil, I mean, all any rock musician knows about, yeah, when, when that was first put out, we were just like, oh my gosh, that's amazing, you know, because you could sample sounds and, you know, it was just   Michael Hingson ** 03:39 incredible, and it had a choir built into it. Yeah? Daylight though   Michele Blood ** 03:43 that was, I don't know, think back back in the day, it was like 100 grand, so that's probably why it wasn't as popular. Yeah,   03:51 a little more   Michael Hingson ** 03:52 expensive than the Kurzweil one. Yeah, yeah, our organist at our church where my wife and I went in Irvine and where we got married, our organist had a Kurzweil synthesizer and used it a lot, which was, which was kind of fun, and it was, it was very and it is very impressive all the way around, yeah, but   Michele Blood ** 04:13 just the innovative things that have been done, and you're helping ray with all of the things for the blind as well. Working with Stevie Wonder. I mean, it's just, you're very impressive. You're an inspiration. You are, you are absolutely amazing.   Michael Hingson ** 04:28 Well, thank you. But now let's talk about you a little bit. And you know, you can, you can.   04:35 I didn't show them the cover yet. You can   Michael Hingson ** 04:38 spread any rusty live like a guide dog. Live   04:42 like a guide dog. Needs to cover everybody   Michael Hingson ** 04:45 well, I hope people will get it. I'm we're excited about it. It's been out now a few months. It seems to be selling. We're excited. So hopefully people will read it, and it inspires people a little bit, because it's all about. Are trying to get people to learn to control fear and not let it overwhelm or, as I put it, blind you. But anyway, tell us a little bit about you. Why don't you start with the the early Michele, growing up, and some of those kinds of things, just kind of introduce us to you a little bit.   Michele Blood ** 05:16 Well, I'm an Aussie G'day, everyone. G'day, and, in Australia, I started in the entertainment industry at the age of five, on TV. What   Michael Hingson ** 05:27 did you do? Singing? Oh, okay,   Michele Blood ** 05:31 you know. And then eventually got my, you know, had lots and lots of rock bands I sang in, until eventually I got my own rock band that became very successful. I was the lead singer, one of the main songwriters and the manager of the band. We got a great record label. We had 1000s of people coming to our gigs, and it took years to get there, but I loved it so much, even though it's very, very tough at one stage, we toured for seven years, non stop. I mean, no Christmases, no New Year's eves, because when you're in a rock band, you get paid triple on New Year's Eves and Christmases and stuff like that. Yeah, and you can't really say no until you're really huge. You can't really say no to any gig, because you need the money road crew and sound equipment trucks and all the rest of it so but I feel that my life went on a whole new trajectory after a near fatal truck accident, actually, where I was a passenger with the truck, with all the equipment, and my body was so badly broken, I was In the hospital for months and months and months and and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know that sounds crazy everybody, but truly, when you have something so terrible happen to you, and it gets turned around by the Divine, whatever you choose to call God, it gets your life gets turned around and it makes all the difference in the world. So that's the first quarter.   Michael Hingson ** 07:08 Well, you know, I'm really curious. You said something that just strikes a question. I know that a lot of people try to go into entertainment, and most probably aren't overly successful. But why do you think that you were so successful? What what made the rock group and and what you did so successful? Do you have a notion? Well,   Michele Blood ** 07:30 I loved what I did. I was very, very good at it. And not everyone that's good at it's probably other singers in the world that are better than me. But the reason, I think because, I mean, I had some backing vocals on some records, and these female singers were incredible. And one of them said, I know you've got a good voice, Michelle, but I don't know why it's you and not me. And I said, I think it's just that I never gave up, and I was really disciplined. And I, you know, I wasn't on the road of sex, drugs and rock and roll. I was on the road of discipline, making sure that all my band members were disciplined. We worked really, really hard. We rehearsed a lot. We never blew out a gig, not once. So you get a good reputation. And so I started as a cover band, and we would sound just like the records at the time of the 80s. You know, people said that was a band. It sounded like a record. And so then we, we eventually started putting all our originals in and, I mean, I did crazy things, Michael, I went into Time Warner to the A and R people, because I wasn't getting any feedback. It's really hard. You can't just send them a tape to get you know for them to listen to your demos. So I went in as a tap dancing singing telegram. And so the secretary let me go straight into the office, and it was a board meeting, and because she thought, you know, their family had so I was there with flowers and a cake and my ghetto blaster, and I said, Then I did a tap dance, and I made up this song about, you know, this is, this is the band called clapping hands. You're going to sign them, you're going to want them. And this is a singing telegram saying, Listen to this. And that's how I got my first record deal.   Michael Hingson ** 09:24 Creativity counts for something. It   Michele Blood ** 09:25 sure does. You've gotta have guts. And I mean, I by the time I walked out of that office, though I was sweating, I was shaking, but you have to do something to be noticed. And and I think because I love people so much, and because I'd been singing professionally since I was five, which means I was singing for family members and everyone since I was two, apparently getting being put on the kitchen table. And I loved people being happy, and I love loved entertaining. I just loved it. So I think, you know, it's in the stars as. Well, I know that, but I think discipline, hard work eventually never giving up. Yeah, what can I say? Never giving up.   Michael Hingson ** 10:08 Did you so you were a cover band for for a while, which meant you were the the opening band for other groups,   Michele Blood ** 10:17 not as a cover band, well, with the opening act for the pretenders and in excess and a few other bands, when we were an original band and when we had a record label, right, when we had videos on TV, but before that, now we do five to 645, minute sets a night, and we would stay at one big venue, because in back in the day in Australia, the venues were huge for cover bands. You know, four to 6000 people could come in, and we got, we got very, very popular as a cover band, and then we went original. But it took a few years to do that, for sure, but   Michael Hingson ** 10:55 I remember, I remember bands back in the 50s and 60s, like the platters, who actually were the opening band, or they were the band that were the background for other singers. And then somebody discovered these guys really are better than that, and then they became their own group, right?   Michele Blood ** 11:14 Yeah, yeah. It's interesting how, how it all works out. But in Australia, it's, it's a tough way to tour when you're a female singer, because the Aussies are pretty tough. If they don't like you, you can get B canes thrown at you.   Michael Hingson ** 11:32 Yeah, well, those kinds of things do happen. Yes, they did in Boston for for sports teams. I've heard of fans really being very brutal to like the the Patriots. I think when Steve Grogan was the quarterback, they actually booed him off the field once. It was pretty amazing. I don't know. You know that's people take some of these things way too seriously. They   Michele Blood ** 12:00 certainly do. I like what Oscar Wilde said, Life is too serious to be taken seriously. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 12:09 yeah, absolutely, and, but people still do it way too much. Which is, which is, which is a problem. Yes, you know, we need people to take life more like Mark Twain and Will Rogers, by all means, but I can co so you, you had a serious car accident, and as you said, It really broke your body. Tell us what you'd like to about that and and then how you dealt with it, because that, that was quite a, I won't say miraculous. That was quite a marvel. You. You certainly took a leap along the way with that.   Michele Blood ** 12:50 Yeah, it's such a unique story. Um, after you know the truck driver we've been driving for 12 hours from Brisbane to Sydney, from gig to keep and he fell asleep at the wheel just as we reached Sydney, which happened to be right across the road from the best orthopedic specialist hospital in Sydney. So thank you, God, you know. Yeah, there's no coincidences. There's no accidents. So they got me over there really fast, and they had me straight into the operating theater straight away. So, I mean, I had tons of different operations, but what happened was, when you're in physics, that much physical agony, you pass out every few minutes. Mm, hmm, and, but I had people and fans and family putting on audio programs of things I'd never heard of before, Affirmations, Visualization, positive stuff, audio books by motivational speakers, inspirational speakers who I'd never heard of, but one of them got to me, and that was a book by a man called Napoleon Hill who wrote a book called Think and Grow Rich. Grow Rich, right? And I didn't care about hearing about all the millionaires in the 1920s in America, male men. Why would a female, young Australian rock singer care about that? But one chapter in there, he talks about how his infant son was born deaf, and he would go into his infant son's room every single night and do affirmations, auto suggestion, you hear perfectly. You are so loved, and you are so loving, etc, etc. And by the time a little boy was nearly four, he had 30% of his hearing. And you know when you hear something, I've never heard of this before, Michael, but you know when you hear something for the first time and you can feel it that it's true. You've just heard something that you know in the marrow of your bones that that what you've just heard is true. So I said, Okay, I can, I can run. Relate to that, because I know that I've used my willpower and my positive thinking, My I've never said I can't do something, I can't have that drama that I want. I've never said that. I've always said it's all possible. Everything is possible. You just go for it. Michelle, and I'd always just go for it. And I was brought up a Catholic, and I wasn't brought up. I wasn't one of those people that hated the church. I loved it. So I always had a belief in God, because I used to go to mass as a little girl every morning with the nuns, because I was in love with Jesus, and I just felt so I had that spirituality in me, and I think that is what is the backbone. You know, in the Bible, it says you do not need to be strong, because Christ is my strength. Christ is your strength. And so now I know that there is so much more to spirituality than just Jesus, but it was a great start for my faith in my life, and it gave me happiness. And so I just had faith that this would work, so I started doing affirmations, but they didn't work. Michael, do you want to know why? Sure, yeah, we've got nothing else to do today, right? May as well. Hear about it well, because neuroscience has proven now that affirmations do work and they do positive thinking actually does make a difference in the brain, in the neural pathways. It does make a difference. It ignites something in different parts of the brain. But back then, in the 80s, there was no way to prove that, you know, let alone Napoleon Hill in the 1920s but the thing that he said was most important is, you have to believe it. You have to emotionalize it. But I couldn't, Michael, I couldn't emotionalize it because I would. I started an affirmation, I am healed. I know I am. I love myself. I am my friend. Now, none of those things were true, so I thought, but I did want them to be true, so I thought, great, I've got the perfect affirmation. But when you are feeling like you're feeling and the world around you is presenting the opposite of what you're saying. Your doubting mind spits it out and does not believe it. So about two, three weeks after stopping the affirmations, because I realized that didn't work, I literally had a spiritual epiphany, and it was, you know, as a songwriter, Michelle, you can't get a song out of your head, even if it's songs you don't like or jingles from advertising agencies. So sing your affirmations. Because I got my brother to look around for affirmation songs, and he said, there isn't any such thing. And so I started singing,   Speaker 1 ** 17:58 I am healed. I know I am I love myself. I am my friend. And   Michele Blood ** 18:05 I recorded it onto a cassette player, just a cappella over and over again. And that was the beginning. As I listened to that all day, every day I would I started feeling better. I started getting back to my attitude, that I can, I can heal it just I realized. And when I was working with Bob Proctor, he said, you know why that works so well? He said, It's because the left side of the brain is where the lyrics are, the affirmation, the right side the melody. And this is even before I started recording it with music, and so you have a whole brain experience. And the song, the doubting mind doesn't have a chance to reject it. It goes straight into your subconscious mind. So that's how my positive affirmation pop music began. I didn't stop doing my other music, but I did have what they said, even the doctors, even though they're not supposed to say it, they said my healing was miraculous, and I ended up on TV shows and in the press and everything about what I'd been through for inspiration. And that's how it all began.   Michael Hingson ** 19:16 It. It really is all about believing it. It's it is so easy just to say something, but without truly accepting it, without truly making it a part of your psyche. However you do that it, it doesn't mean a thing. Don't   Michele Blood ** 19:32 mean a thing if it ain't something. Yeah, you do have to laugh. Do up, do up, do   Michele Blood ** 19:43 Yeah, music makes the world go around. It does,   Michael Hingson ** 19:48 and it's so important to take it seriously enough that you truly do believe it, and that's what's so important. And clearly. What you did? So what happened you you got healed completely, I would assume from all that had happened,   Michele Blood ** 20:10 yeah, I mean, it's still it still took quite a while, but I was determined. I put my high shoes back on, even though they said, don't wear high shoes. And I never intended for the affirmation music to go out to the public. My one of the band members that I work with and wrote songs with John Beatty, Hi John. He he's in person now in Australia with millions of kids, but anyway, we won't help me. Listens, yeah, we went into the recording studio and we, we just started recording. I was writing a lot of songs, and we started recording tons of different affirmation songs in all different styles of you know, from R and B to just rock to ballads to depending on what the song was about, whether it was about, you know, divine love, more of a ballad, more of a some of them just more rock and roll about being successful. And when the press found out that I was actually doing that, then promoters that were bringing out American very, very big, best selling authors asked me to come and do my singing affirmations in between these people. And I said, No, I don't want to do that. I'm not doing it for the public. Was just for me, my band, to have these positive thoughts. And they said, No, we love it. We love it. We want you to do it. And so my very first gig, I'm in Adelaide, Australia, and there's three and a half 1000 people on a Wednesday that came to this gig that paid over $300 each for a ticket, which I thought was absolutely insane. I didn't know what was going on. And I sang, and got all the people up on stage singing the affirmation songs with me made it into like a mini rock concert. And then Deepak Chopra, this, who I'd never heard of, never met before. Wayne Dyer, who I'd never heard of, never met before. Tony Alessandra, Stuart, wild, they were the speakers, and they couldn't believe it when we went out to dinner that night that I've never heard of any of them. And I said, I'm in rock and roll. I'm not in the motivational world. You know, I've, I've never heard of you, because I've not in that world. And so they were interested in how it all began, and they all said, You've got to tour this around the world. You've got to you've got to release these that we love. What you're doing. The audience is so different. Bob Proctor, though he was the one, when I ended up working with him, the promoters said, you know, we've got this female Australian singer, and you're going to be touring with her? And he said, No, I don't want a female singer. I'm Bob Proctor. I don't need that anyway. The first gig I did with him in Sydney, he came out after, and he said, I didn't want to work with a singer. And I said, good to meet you too, mate. I Yes, how are you? And he said, but no, all kidding aside. He said, My wife and I, Linda, we loved it so much, and I want you to work with me all over the world, doing events. So eventually I end up working with Bob for seven years straight. We wrote books together. We wrote music together. We put on huge events. I took over his business, looked after it, and from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, where I lived, and then, and it was just very, very interesting. I've worked in over 26 countries, huge, huge audiences. The biggest one I had was 50,000 people. So to say it was successful is an understatement, but I didn't plan it. I didn't visualize it, but I had always planned on being very well known singer, but it but not to be a positive affirmation or singer. I'd never thought of that, but eventually I went off the grid and started really getting into deep meditation practice and getting off the that whole circuit, because I wanted to find God within me. So that was what happened. And it was fascinating, because it's like working with all these, you know, rock musicians, male rock musicians, and then working with all these male best selling authors. I'm like, I'm always surrounded by the boys.   Michael Hingson ** 24:46 Hey, whatever works, it's, it's interesting though, that that you, you did so much of this, I gather that the audience is reacted very positively, though. Um. Have you heard from anyone that it really changed their life to have encountered you and heard you when you performed? Oh,   Michele Blood ** 25:10 yeah, we've had millions. I mean, we've got a lot of our video video testimonials and testimonials from not just best selling authors that I've worked with, but also from people from all over the world. I work with people in over 32 countries now, and some of them don't even speak English, but they still feel the vibration. And a lot of different people have started singing my songs in different languages, which I allow anyone to do. They don't have to pay me a royalty. They can just do it whatever brings positivity to the world and change within someone, so that they can get out of that rabbit hole. Because you're, you know, your whole podcast about unstoppable mindset. Well, this is such a a great new beginning is to just have to listen to a song. Yeah? And, you know, there's so I've got hundreds of songs to choose from, so it's a good it's a good way to start, because music, you know, like I always say to people, if you have the blues, even though I like blues and I think it's brilliant, but if you have the blues, probably best not to listen to the blues. Yeah,   Michael Hingson ** 26:21 definitely, definitely true. Well, of course, one has to ask if, if you have one, not necessarily long, but that you want to sing for us all.   Michele Blood ** 26:38 Yeah, I can. I didn't have anything set up. But if you'd like to chat for a minute, I'll just get something set up for you. Well,   Michael Hingson ** 26:45 okay, we can, we can do that. I do. I do agree with you that if you've got the blues, you don't want to listen to the blues. I I personally like happy stuff. I like musicals, especially when they're they're happy musicals. I've always enjoyed that. I do listen and read science fiction and sometimes read some some pretty horrific things. But I've noticed later in my life I'm doing less of that because I, although I like mysteries, I don't like nowadays really graphical or very graphic murder mysteries and things like that, and so people call the kinds of things that I probably typically like cozy mysteries. I wouldn't say that Rex Stout books about neural wolf the private detective are necessarily cozy, but by the same token, they're not the most graphic things, and I've always enjoyed them because they're puzzles. And I love mysteries that are really puzzles that I can become engaged in and try to solve, and musicals I like just because they're fun and and they're they're very happy for the most part. And so again, they're, they're very relevant to to want to listen to. So I, I tend to do that. So it's a lot of fun to keep in the the spirit of reasonably happy and stay away from the blues. Okay,   Michele Blood ** 28:17 I've got something set up now, alright, saying low battery, but oh, sorry. What happened there? There it is. There it is. This song is called synergy. I wrote it with Bob Proctor. Can you hear the music?   Michael Hingson ** 28:35 It's a little low, but yes, go ahead. Better. Yep,   Speaker 1 ** 28:40 there's a way to get it moving, to make it happen, to get high. Can barely flooded in the clouds, join thoughts and let them fly. When your mind joins in with others and all your thoughts to one a US. Energy begins to sizzle and it's energy positive energy synergy. It's energy, hot energy, positive energy turn into synergy. Together, creative power will start to flow. Things begin to happen. You're a church with Synergy. Red Hot energy, positive energy grows into synergy. It's energy, hot energy, positive energy grows into synergy.   Michele Blood ** 29:55 You shine and become magnetic, you'll draw the good. People out the world will be a better place, and everyone will start to shout, face to face, building   Speaker 2 ** 30:12 energy. Taste. The taste is this energy, thoughts, launching into one, a new boss have become this is synergy.   Speaker 1 ** 30:23 It's synergy, red hot energy, positive energy, delta, synergy, it's synergy.   Michael Hingson ** 30:34 There you go. Now   30:36 that's Bob Proctor. Wrote the lyrics for that.   Michael Hingson ** 30:41 But, um, who was the male voice near the end? Oh, the   Michele Blood ** 30:44 male voice was a American guy in who was singing covers in Kuala Lumpur when I lived there, Ah, okay, and I just hired him to come and and do that in the studio in Kuala Lumpur, yeah. But the other affirmation songs are more simple, but they're still got, you know, like a good dance beat, some of them are ballads greeting the day with love in your heart. It just depends on where you want to take your mind that day. Do you want to open your heart? Do you want to be like listen to the persistent song. Do you want to feel more successful? You listen to the success song, which is like 50s, rock and roll. So they're all different. They're all different product, production. So it was a lot of fun changing the different styles for each song depending on the lyrics.   Michael Hingson ** 31:34 Well, if people want to get those affirmation songs and so on, are they available for people to get? Yeah,   Michele Blood ** 31:41 all my albums are sold all over the world, and iTunes, of course, Amazon. My own website is magnet to success. Com. My YouTube channel is Michelle blood.com forward slash YouTube. But I've got lovely giveaways for your for your audience, if you'd like me to share that. Well, we will   Michael Hingson ** 32:03 do that a little bit, okay, but I really appreciate you seeing synergy. I will be, I will be saying that to myself the rest of the day, which is fine, but you know, you mentioned the blues and so on. So here's a question, if somebody is really down and really frustrated, how can they change their life to the positive?   Michele Blood ** 32:31 Well, first of all, even if they are really down, you've got to know, no matter what is going on in your life, that everything is possible for you, and that you can get out of that rabbit hole, and that you are you might feel alone, but you're never alone. Whether you believe in God or you don't believe in God, there is a God and you are looked after. You can pray without begging just giving. One of the most wonderful things you can do is just to start to write down what you're thankful for immediately. If you can say thank you divine, or just thank you for my beautiful life, and if then you can begin to write down what a beautiful life would look like for you, just start writing it down, even though it's not true yet. Like, let's start thinking about what can be done. What do you what sort of friends do you want? What sort of lifestyle do you want? You know, start thinking of others as well. Whenever we can do something, if we can do something every single day that makes somebody else happy, whether it's feeding the homeless or sending funny kitten videos to your friends. You if you can do something every day that brings happiness to somebody else or takes them out of suffering, well, then it'll take you out of yourself. Because if, if it's something emotional that you're going through, that means that you're going to sometimes we do need to go through the emotion, particularly if we're mourning the loss of something or someone that's important and healthy. But it is also important to stop thinking about ourselves so much and look at what can be done for the world. I love I love Saint Vincent de Paul. I love the Salvation Army so much, so you can tithe to them anonymously. If you want to do something you don't know what to do, even if it's just a buck, five bucks, it's really good to tithe to charities that are doing good in the world. And I'm sure there's a charity that you could recommend to us, Michael, that will help with the blind. If you got one, you can recommend?   Michael Hingson ** 34:43 Well, I think there, there really are a number of of places to donate. One of my favorites is the National Federation of the Blind, nfb.org, because it's, it's a consumer organization that fights for the rights of. Of blind people around the United States and actually around the world. And it's the NFB is the largest consumer organization of blind people in this country and, in fact, in the world. But it has made such a difference in the lives of blind people. For example, through the National Federation of blind we completely changed the life insurance industry that refused to provide life insurance for any blind person up until the mid 1980s and when it was finally discovered that they were denying us, not because they had any evidence and actual mathematical models that proved that we were a risk, which is what they're supposed to do. They were doing it strictly out of prejudice. And so now every state in the union, because of the Federation, has actually passed legislation that says you can't discriminate unless you've got real evidence. Well, it's been 40 years, and nobody's come up with evidence that we're a higher risk simply because we're blind or other persons with disabilities, their disabilities directly make them a higher risk. So, you know, that's that's definitely one of my favorite organizations to support. And   Michele Blood ** 36:13 nfb.org everybody. Nfb.org I've written it down for me to start tithing there as well. And,   Michael Hingson ** 36:20 you know, and there, there are so many others. Another organization that I tend to like, it's a very small organization, is advocates for service animal partners asap.org, and and it fights for the rights of people with a variety of disabilities who use service animals, service dogs, to be able to take their dogs with them, where wherever they go, because we're denied. So awesome. So I like asap.org as well.   Michele Blood ** 36:51 I love what you did. I think it was you and Ray and his wife. You were going to a particular restaurant and a a suity maitre d snotty, snooty, wouldn't let you in with your blind dog, with your with your guide dog, right? And and she was really upset the wife. And so you end up gathering quite a few of your friends that are blind, that have guide dogs, and you went in, and he had to oblige and let you all in. And everyone was very nice to you. So that was really good, because that it, it's, it's illegal for them to say you can't come in with your guide dog. It is   Michael Hingson ** 37:28 illegal, and it has been illegal for a long time. One of my favorite stories, which really wasn't a bad story at all, there used to be a restaurant in Boston in Quincy Market called Durgan Park. And Durgan Park was was basically family style, although around the outside of the room they had tables for four but you couldn't sit at one of those tables unless you had four people. Well, we came in one night and there were only three of us and my dog, Holland, and the the host has said, You know what, I'm going to make an exception and let you sit at this table for four so Holland was under the table, and there were three of us, and the waitress came up, and the waitresses at Durgan Park are known as snots. I mean, they're, they're, they're, they're supposed to be really rough and all that. It's just part of the schtick. But she came up and she said, What are you people doing sitting here? And he said, well, the host has put us here. No, she didn't. You're just sitting here. No, she did. It's because of the dog under the table. No, there's no dog under the table. You're not going to make me fall for that. And she walks away, and then she comes back and she said, you're not supposed to be sitting here and all that. I said, Look, there's a dog under the table. Take a look. And it took a while, but I finally got her to look, and there's Holland staring at her with these big brown eyes when she lifts up the the tablecloth, and the next thing I know, she comes back with a big plate. Jurgen Park has very good sized portions of frying rib and says, Can I give this to the dog, oh, and, and normally, I would never do that, but in the for to promote goodwill, I said, Okay, which Hall of love? And, you know, I knew the food there was good, but, you know, it was, it was just one of those great stories. But, yeah, all too often that isn't the way it goes. We see so many challenges with Uber, for example, so many drivers refuse to take blind people or other people with disabilities who have service dogs. It's against the rules, and they say, but it's our car. No, you signed a contract that said that you are going to transport the public, so it is illegal for you to deny us. But they do, and that's one of the things that ASAP, for example, is really working on to address, to get Uber, to recognize that it has to enforce the law like everyone else. But it's a challenge. People come from all sorts of different points of view. You know, with   Michele Blood ** 39:59 the name like. Uber. How could they do that? They're not being very Uber.   40:04 Well, there you go.   Michele Blood ** 40:07 Wow. That's interesting in this day and age. Absolutely, it continues all too often. So many people have slipped into something more comfortable, like a coma. Yeah.   Michael Hingson ** 40:18 Now you and your team have created an app. I think it's called what magnet to money. Tell us about that. Yeah,   Michele Blood ** 40:24 it was interesting. Thanks, Michael. I wanted to do because sometimes people like you were talking earlier, how do they get out of their you know, their depression, or whatever they're going through that they're feeling, how do they get out of that rabbit hole? So if you're feeling that way, and your mindset is in a negative state of mind, and you're emotionally not feeling well, well, then it's very, very challenging for you to want to put on some positive, you know, affirmation music. Because I know when I was in the hospital, if people came in and they were too chirpy. I would couldn't wait for them to go because I wasn't oscillating at that frequency. Yeah, you know. So they're all Oh, hi. And so I thought, wouldn't it be great if we had an app and it would just play? As you know, they can choose the notifications how often it will play. And so Polly fella, Trevor Rogers and Johnny and Dara and myself, we worked really hard, especially Holly fella, to develop this app. And it took about two and a half years to develop it. And it's got morning meditations. It's got tons of affirmations with music underneath. It's got a sleep program to help. As they're sleeping, people are sleeping, I'm very softly saying affirmations and positive you know, feed, feed to their minds. And it's also got notifications, so the magnet to money song will play whatever they want to, so they don't have to even remember to and eventually, like someone the other day, said she was in a bank and she had the magnet to Money App, and she had it as her ringtone as well. And she's in this big bank that was hardly anybody in there, but it was quite chamber ish, Echo ish, and she said, and her phone was on pretty loud. It started, I'm a magnet to money came on really loud, and everyone started laughing. They're like, well, that's sort of, I guess, you know, a good thing to play in a bank. Yeah, works. So, yeah, the magnet to Money App is fantastic. App. It's got so much on it, and it's got an audio book you get for free from myself and Bob Proctor called magnet to money through the sea of unlimited consciousness, one one of our books that we did as an audio book, and we thought we've also got a free app, because that magnet to Money App is only about, I think it's $4 or something A month, but the affirmation power app is free, and on that tons of affirmations, plus my affirmation music videos is on there as well. So that's free, if anybody wants that.   Michael Hingson ** 43:13 So yeah, so is that available with Android and Apple and iPhone? No,   Michele Blood ** 43:17 just, just apple at the moment, because to develop for an Android is much more complicated because there are so many different companies, yeah, yes, whereas Apple, it's just the iPhone, but we do intend to, but it's, you know, we've got the manifestation video app as well, and we've got a New App coming out, which is all my audio books. And I'm doing a new audio book every month, not just my books on audio, but other people's books on audio as well. And then the next step after that, is a prayer app, talking about prayer, how to pray, and for me, teaching people the power of prayer. So it's really lovely to be able to do apps that have got positive, you know, the very, very, you know, if they were to buy all those individual products from me to cost hundreds dollars, and this way it's just a few dollars a month all free for them to get all my positive songs and books and all that sort of thing.   Michael Hingson ** 44:17 How do people search for these apps that in the in the app store. I think   Michele Blood ** 44:22 that if they just go under, look under Michelle blood, okay, under my name, yeah, okay, they'll just come up. I   Michael Hingson ** 44:29 will, I will be doing that this afternoon. I think that's that's pretty cool. You know, in in our world today, we become so materialistic in so many ways, but at the same time, a lot of people have really become students of your affirmations and so on. How did they really become students? And I think even more important, one of the questions that I would ask is. How does it really transform, or did it really transform people's consciousness and set them on a road toward a more spiritual path? Because I think in so many ways, we don't see people doing that, and at the same time, I know there are a lot of people who do, but by the same token, there's so many people who go, oh, this is just all pokem. It doesn't really mean anything, but that's just not true.   Michele Blood ** 45:24 Well, I think it's, it's an interesting question to answer, because there are so many different types of people in the world, and we can't expect to change people. They have to, you know, I don't want anyone to suffer. Michael, first of all, so I think having positive thoughts in their head is going to actually make them think less of themselves, believe it or not, these the way the lyrics are done, and more of joy and sharing and caring about other people, because it is so important to to do that, because people, if they get too much into themselves, Like I say to people, don't buy anything if you're buying it. For someone else to be to compliment you, that's a really good way of deciding what you're going to purchase in your life. If you're doing it to you know, to say, Oh, I've got this really nice car. Look how great I am. But get it if you want a good car. Get it because you want a nice, safe car that's good for the environment, but don't get it so that you will impress other people. Unless you're a real estate agent, they do need good cars, apparently, to drive people around, yeah, I guess so. Drive people around,   Michael Hingson ** 46:35 but, or drive people crazy, yeah,   Michele Blood ** 46:37 but. But I also think it's important that that if you want to, you can't tell someone to be more spiritual. They have to get into a positive frame of mindset first. Because when you're in a positive frame of mindset, you start feeling more of a heart blow, more love. And even if you don't believe in God, you believe in love everybody, I know you do, so whether it's your animal that you love, because every animal is an angel, whether it's nature, smelling the remembering to stop and smell the flowers, remembering to not let yourself complain. Complaining will take you down a rabbit hole of absolute negativity and please. People remember, the only reason you're complaining is because you're feeling fear about losing something or not getting something that you want. And so if you can stop complaining for 28 days straight, you will change your life. And I know that sounds impossible, but many people can do it, because I've seen my students do it. So if you can stop complaining and stop half if you're halfway through a complaint about something or someone or politics or Trump or whatever in the hell it is, stop yourself halfway through and just say, Why am I complaining? And people are complaining because they're in fear. If you can stop and be mindful enough to say, I'm complaining because I'm afraid of something, and I don't want to face it and find out what you're afraid of, the thing that you're afraid of will dissipate. Yeah, it really will. So I think that's a really good place to start listening to the positive songs, for sure, going to every single unstoppable mindset podcast you possibly can go to reading Michael's books, and also, just knowing that you can get out of that rabbit hole, it is totally possible, and I've seen it in people from all different cultures and religious backgrounds all over the world. I've traveled to so many different countries, and have so many different audiences, and everybody wants to be loved and be loved in return. And everybody wants to see other people happy at their core. They really do. We don't want to make people unhappy, do you? So stop complaining.   Michael Hingson ** 49:07 You know, it's, it's interesting that you, you talk about all this, one of the things that we talk a lot about, and you'll see it and live like the guide dog, is that we need to become more introspective. Because if we do and we really look at ourselves daily, and, for example, look at what worked today, what didn't work. Why didn't it work? You eventually get to what was I really afraid of? And if you really stop to think about that and go, I didn't need to be afraid of that, your life will change, which is really, as you're pointing out, what it's all about.   Michele Blood ** 49:44 Excellent, excellent. I'm looking forward to reading that as well, and then I've already told everyone to get thunder dog on all my lists. But now I'll be, after I read the next one, I'll be telling them to read that as well, because we're on the same page. Michael.   Michael Hingson ** 49:59 Tell me a little bit about something I've read in your bio, how you went from affirmations to a full kundalini awakening.   Michele Blood ** 50:09 Well, when I was working with Bob Proctor in Asia, I was saying to him one day, I feel this heart blow like I feel like my heart is out of my chest, and I feel such deep love. And it's not for any person, place or thing. It's for everything, actually, but it's beyond that. It's divine. And he said, you're looking for an enlightened teacher. That's what you need. And I said, Well, where do you find an enlightened teacher, and what exactly is that? And he got me to read Autobiography of a Yogi by Hara mahansa Yogananda. And I'd read it before, but I didn't really get it like I did this time when I read it, and I realized that enlightenment wasn't just one person. People can actually meditate and go into higher states of consciousness, but I wasn't thinking of how is an enlightened being around in this modern world? That can't be right? Because I it must be like unless it's Asia maybe. He said, I don't know. He said, I did have a Canadian man who was enlightened, who taught me for three years before he died, left the body. And he said, you just have to pray for it and know that the teacher and the student will find each other. It took me 14 years of searching all over the world, and eventually I found an enlightened teacher in all places America, and I decided to go off the grid, and I really had to to study with her as a student, because she didn't like us to be on Facebook or social media. She said, you don't want attention on yourself when you're studying with me, because you want to be able to go in deeply. Yeah. So I went off. I studied with her for 12 years, but after the first few years, I went into a full awakening myself, never expecting that. Didn't expect it to happen to me. I thought, how could a rock singer in Australia, have a kundalini awakening, but I did, and now I love to teach mysticism and spirituality and meditation practice to students from all over the world. And I love to do it. I think there's so many tools in the toolbox of life, whatever sort of personality you have, whether you're extremely religious or you just want to have more positive outcome. You want to become healthier. I think meditation practice is good for everybody. You do not have to be religious or think of spirituality to enjoy a quiet mind. It'll slow down your blood pressure. It will give you pump your blood, it'll stop your mind from going down a million rabbit holes where your senses take you. I just think meditation practice is a miraculous, privileged thing to do.   Michael Hingson ** 52:53 I agree. And you know, one of the things that it's a little bit off topic for what you just said, but we were talking earlier about people praying and looking for so many things. I'm amazed at how many people pray to God, telling God what they want and what they think they need. And I'm sitting there whenever I hear about that today, especially, I think, Wait a minute, God already knows that what you need to do is to listen to get the response, and thank God for the response, but people just don't do that. I'm just so amazed at at that. But it's it is so true that we spend too much time not doing the thing that we really need to do, which is listening and talking with God, not talking to God.   Michele Blood ** 53:46 Yeah, that's why I I'm loving recording the new prayer app, because I explain to people what prayer actually is. It's not If you do this for me, God, I'll start, stop eating pizza, yeah? Or maybe trade off. So I teach people what prayer actually is, and it's, it's really the most sacred thing and beautiful thing, and it will uplift you, even if you just, I've got a section where they I'm praying for others, so they can just listen to any different topic of what type of prayer, but the main thing for me was explaining, doing the introduction of what prayer is and how to pray, because so many people have no idea what prayer really is, that communion with your higher self, and once you get to understand what that is, then you can hear that still, small voice you can literally hear through. Ah, your intuition becomes stronger you can and intuition is you being in tune with your higher self. And your higher self is omniscient wisdom. It created everything so it knows what. To tell you to do, and it will bring into your experience everything when you accept, when you can be open and receptive to receive and to give, just sort of let yourself go, just surrender to that divine Higher Self, when you can learn how to do that. That's another thing that I do on this prayer app is teach you what surrender really means and how you can do it. It's not taking your willpower away from you, because everyone that's a gift that we've been given. So we can make good choices in life, sometimes bad choices, but we can use our willpower to get ourselves out of that rabbit hole. So thank you for asking that. Michael, it's   Michael Hingson ** 55:41 extremely important to be able to do that. Well, you mentioned earlier that you had gifts for people listening to this podcast. Love it if you tell us about that,   Michele Blood ** 55:52 yes, yummy gifts. If you go to Michelle. Blood com, it's spelled M, I, C, H, E, L, E, B, L, O, O, O, d.com, forward slash unstoppable mindset. We've called that. We've made that link especially for Michael's podcast. Just for your people, they will get the audio version of one of my favorite books I've written called the magic of affirmation power audio book. They will get that for free, but in that audio book has tons of affirmations you can repeat after me, links to some of my music for free. You'll also get a six week mysticism course, and there are other things as well. I can't remember what they are right now, but they're all on that link.   Michael Hingson ** 56:37 But Michelle blood com slash unstoppable mindset. I thank you for the otter. Appreciate that. Well now if people want to come hear you, I know you do live events and you do zoom events and so on. How can we learn about that? How can people do that?   Michele Blood ** 56:57 Well, they can go to request Divine light.com to find out what is my next event, because I have free events, a lot a lot of free zoom events people can come to, and you'll just get to meet so many happy, lovely people from so many different countries. And we just have a blast together. And you'll be very, very uplifted after everyone, because everyone that comes on are just, we seem to be attracting, over the years, just people that are really, sincerely wanting a better life and to do it, to do good in the world. And I just love them all so much. So if they go to request Divine Light com, they can see where my next free event will be. I mean, it's on Zoom, but I mean when it will be   Michael Hingson ** 57:46 right? Request, divine light. Com, cool. Well, I really appreciate you coming on. And obviously people can go to Michelle blood, com, and there's a lot there, I would assume as well. So hopefully people will go, go check out everything that's there, and we'll take this seriously, because I think there is so much that you have offered. We've had a number of people on unstoppable mindset who talk about everything from reg a to Eastern medicine, meditation and and so many things. They all can't be totally wrong. So from my perspective, they are not wrong. But by the same token, it's fun to be able to get a chance to to have you on. We'll have to do this again, and I'm going to certainly go download the apps and put them on my nice little iPhone and start taking advantage of them. But I really appreciate you coming on and and being with us for an hour today. Well,   Michele Blood ** 58:51 Michael, thank you for the books that you've written and everything that you've done in the world. I just think you're just an inspiration and just a lovely, lovely man. So thank you. It's, it's lovely getting to know you. And I'm just going to tell everyone about these books, because they're amazing, well written as well. Just really, really good.   Michael Hingson ** 59:13 Well, thank you. So, when are you going to do a podcast? I'm going   Michele Blood ** 59:17 to do a podcast with a man called just I just had a brain fart. Thomas Miller, uh, at the moment, his podcast is called subconscious mind mastery, and he's interviewed me quite a few times. We met in person, and I love his outlook on life, about really not saying no to anything that's mystical. And so we're going to start one next year together. He's already got his own, but this will be a different one where we'll go a little deeper, a deeper dive into mysticism. I think we're going to call it well,   Michael Hingson ** 59:55 if he needs a guess for his existing podcast, if he has guests or. You guys have your podcast together. If you ever want a guest, I volunteer. So I'll just, Oh,   Michele Blood ** 1:00:05 I'll tell him today. Goodness, yes,   Michael Hingson ** 1:00:10 I'm, I'm always, I'm always open for that. Oh,   Michele Blood ** 1:00:13 I'll tell him today. Yeah, because you, I love you.   Michael Hingson ** 1:00:18 Well, I want to thank you for being here, and I want to thank all of you for listening. I hope you enjoyed this at least half as much as I did, hopefully as much as I did. This has been a lot of fun and educational, I think, in so many ways, to help us deal with our outlooks on life. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Please feel free to email me. Michael h i at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S, I b, e.com, or go to our podcast website, w, w, w, dot Michael hingson.com/podcast, and that's m, I, C, H, A, E, L, H, I N, G, s, o, n. So Michael hingson.com/podcast, and wherever you're listening, please give us a five star review. We really value your reviews. But of course, love the five star ones, so if we can, we would really appreciate it if you give us a five star review and and say, say good things about us and and go off and definitely visit Michelle's pages. And, of course, being very prejudiced, go to Michelle blood com slash unstoppable mindset and get some free gifts from her. And if you know of anyone who you think would be a good guest, and Michelle you as well. I'm always looking for podcast guests, so okay, don't hesitate to to refer people to us. We appreciate that a whole lot. So once again, I want to thank you for being here. Michelle, this has been a lot of fun. Thank   Michele Blood ** 1:01:45 you. Michael, God bless you. More love everyone. More Love   Michael Hingson ** 1:01:54   You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.

From listener Chris Ballew: I have heard every single episode of RotL and for almost as long as I have been listening to it I've been daydreaming about making a little mash up cut and paste audio bit out of some of a random selection opening moments of the podcast. I woke up one day and was suddenly seized my motivation, and made this little slice of sound as a love letter to my virtual and real life friends, John and Merlin. My God, Chris. Thank you, thank you.

Auntie finds comfort and passion. by  Jism786. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Significant changes started occurring after my Aunt stopped wearing her black attire. Since the funeral, she had been wearing nothing but black, but she was back to her everyday wear after two weeks. The truth was that her black clothes just didn't cut it when it came to working on the farm. However, with this change also came some unexpected challenges. I couldn't help but stare at her after she started wearing her everyday work clothes.  Her work jeans hugged tightly around her legs and butt, and it was lovely to see her walk to and fro.Her behind was plump, and her jeans only highlighted its perfection. I had always known her breasts were relatively large but watching her walk around the farm and house really extenuated the bosom she possessed. She was truly well endowed in this respect. The years had taken some of the perkiness away, but in its place, a beautiful supple body now remained. One day, as I was working on a fence near the barn, I saw her washing some rags on an old fashioned washboard. The way her breasts moved freely as she plunged the rags up and down the board was hypnotizing. If she was wearing a bra, it wasn't helping. Her shirt wasn't skin tight but tight enough to see the roundness of their shape as they bounced up and down. I soon felt my cock pulsating in my jeans, and I couldn't help but stand up as my cock rectified itself longways down my leg. I felt ashamed and embarrassed at my reaction, but what could I do. It had been weeks since I had any sort of release. I had no girlfriend back home, and I didn't really feel like masturbating in the house of my dead Uncle. It also didn't help that I was now sleeping in my cousin's room. That night, however, I was unable to keep myself from stroking my cock. In the silence of the night, I pictured my Aunt on that washboard. Soon I was shooting cum into the air, and at once, I was plagued with guilt. A few weeks turned into two months of working on the farm. I had decided about my future; I love this life, and I'm going to stay here. I actually loved the farm life. A few days after making my decision, I worked like a machine, repairing fences, and didn't' stop until the sun went down. By the time I got back from the field, a heavy rainstorm had started to unleash its fury, and I was completely soaked. My Aunt had dinner waiting, and I wasted no time in changing and eating the hearty meal. After dinner, we went out on the porch to watch the rain coming down. It was really pouring, and I couldn't help but smile as my Aunt cuddled next to me. She shuddered after every thunderclap, and I couldn't help but feel more manly as she took comfort at my side. After a while, it became too windy, and we decided to head inside. We were sitting in the living room when she suddenly said, “Do you mind sleeping in my room tonight? I'm kind of a scaredy-cat when it comes to thunder.” “No, I don't mind, Aunt Rose,” I replied, maybe a little too quickly. “It's just, I never really liked lightning and thunder….” she trailed off. “Your uncle…your uncle used to tease me about that,” her voice wandered off as she remembered her dead husband. “It's okay. I'll help you feel safe…,” I said. I had planned to not act on my natural tendencies and behave as gentlemanly as possible. I had fought the battle in my head already, and I had won. I would only comfort her and nothing more. I held her all through the night as the lightning and thunder prevailed long into the night. Although I had decided to not cross the moral line, my body didn't know any better. My cock throbbed against my Aunt's back and remained so well into the night. Like a strong, dark guardian holding vigil, my cock rested against her sleeping body. I struggled to sleep as I considered the fact that my Uncle had slept on this same bed. Perhaps he had made love to her only days ago, and yet here I was in his place. I awoke a few times to hear my Aunt sobbing quietly and would only wrap my arms tighter around her to assure her that I was there to protect her. I had a lot of work the next morning due to the storm. For eight hours, I worked diligently, replacing shingles and repairing things around the farm that had gotten damaged by the devastating wind. By the end of the day, my body ached. Small blisters had appeared on my hand from where I had gripped the hammer. My Aunt had always been attentive to my needs, but I immediately noticed a change in her demeanor when I went into the house. Where before, she had treated me as her young, clueless nephew, she now spoke to me no different than a wife would talk to a husband. “What would like to eat, dear?” She asked while she folded my coat. “I'll eat anything,” I told her. “I'm starving.” “Alright then, spaghetti it is…” she said. “Maybe later, I can give you a massage honey, it looks like you can use it,” she added. Indeed I really could use one. My arms and back were burning, and I knew I would enjoy having my Aunt feeling me up after a long day's work. “Yeah that sounds nice,” I replied. “You better get washed up then,” she said suggested. I headed into the shower and stripped my clothes. I slid back the clear glass door of the shower and stepped inside as the warm water started to steam up around me. I had small cuts on my hands, and using the soap stung them as I washed. Nevertheless, I persevered and cleaned as best I could. I was fully lathered in soap when I heard a knock at the door. “Yes?” I called out. “Honey, I have a wash going do you have your clothes in here? I didn't see them in your room.” She said. “Yeah, they're in here,” I replied as I tried to wash some of the soap off my face. Slowly the door creaked open, and I saw my Aunt gingerly step in. I had left my clothes right outside the shower door, so she had no choice but to venture all the way inside. Unlike the day before, I found myself lacking any sense of embarrassment. Having held her all through the night had given me a confidence that had not been there before. That and the fact that I had worked my ass off gave me a sense of empowerment that I really liked. I watched my Aunt's eyes as she desperately tried to concentrate on the pile of clothes. Although the steam did provide some cover, it wasn't enough to stifle her curiosity. As she leaned down to pick up the pile of clothes, my cock pulsated, slowly growing aware of the presence of the female before it. After each heartbeat, it gained strength. By the time she had all my clothes in her hands, my cock was already at full mast, with water trickling off its tip. As she went to stand up, her gaze wandered until it finally locked onto my engorged member. As soon as I saw her fixated, I stabbed my cock sideways against the glass. The glass door rattled, and my Aunt fell backward while clutching my clothes tightly against her bosom. “John honestly!” She stammered. I laughed out loud at her befuddlement. Quickly she gathered herself and walked out of the bathroom. I gave my cock a few short strokes but decided not to release my load, considering I would be getting a massage from my Aunt shortly. Although I had committed myself not to cross the line, I found myself not trying very hard. Subconsciously, I wanted to seduce my full-figured Aunt. I had become infatuated with every part of her body. Her hips had been difficult to ignore. They reminded me of the hips in a Venus painting I had once seen. ( Nude Venus at Her Mirror Painting by Diego Velázquez ) I loved how smooth her skin was, and thinking about rubbing my hard cock against it made me want her even more. I finished my shower with my hard-on intact. I put on some clean underwear and went to the kitchen to eat supper. Rose looked at me and said, “I've noticed that you've gotten into the habit of coming in here like that, dear.” “Like what?” I asked. “In just your underwear, dear,” she replied. I looked at her and said, “It's more comfortable after working outdoors all day. Do you want me to put on some clothes?” “Umm, no dear, it's not necessary. I'm just not used to it.” Rose plated our meals and brought them to the table. We ate and had a casual conversation about the farm and the neighbors. When we finished eating, Rose cleared the table, and I helped her wash the dishes. “Thanks for the help with the dishes, dear. You didn't have to, you know,” Rose said, and kissed my cheek. “You cook, wash my clothes, and take care of me. It's the least I could do,” I replied. “Are you ready for your massage, dear?” she asked. “Give me a minute,” I said, “I'll meet you in the living room.” I went to the bathroom, took off my underwear, and wrapped a towel around my waist. As I stared down the hallway, I was entranced by my Aunt, who was sitting Indian-style, reading a book. She was wearing short pink shorts, which said “lovable” across the back. I remember admiring how the word stretched slightly due to the ample size of her ass. She had a short button-up blouse, but her tits were partly visible through the gaps between each button. It also didn't help that she had not fastened the top three buttons. She had her reading glasses on, and her brown hair fell down the left side of her face. She looked a lot younger, sitting like that next to the fireplace. In a daze, I walked towards her with only the small white towel wrapped around me. Before I made my presence known, she put her book down and stretched. Her arms reached for the ceiling, and her back arched like a limber gymnast. Her breasts pushed hard against her blouse, and the buttons strained to contain the bounty she possessed. As she lowered her arms, she saw me. “Honey, aren't you going to put some clothes on?” Rose asked incredulously. “I thought you were going to give me a massage,” I said in a child-like voice. “Well yeah, but you could put some clothes on you know…” she said. “No, its okay. I don't want to get any oil on them, ” I said quickly when I saw the bottle of oil next to her. “hmm… makes sense I suppose,” She said slowly and thoughtfully. She was gauging my intentions, I could clearly see. She extended a bath towel on the carpet and laid a pillow on one side. “Well, come over here,” she beckoned with both hands. I strode towards her, and I could see her eyeing my body behind the glare of her glasses. Watching her do this made me even more excited. I laid face down and unwrapped the towel, letting it cover my ass. Soon after, I felt my Aunt's weight over me as she straddled me. I could feel her soft legs with my hands as she started massaging my shoulders. I could see her shadow against the wall, and I could already imagine her breasts swaying back and forth as she ran her hands across my back. “You're back is really tense hon,” she said finally. “That's all muscle Aunt Rose,” I said coyly. “Ain't that the truth…” she trailed off. Soon she slid down to my legs and started working my calves. Slowly she inched her way upwards until she reached what the towel-covered. I felt a slight hesitation before her hands slid under the small towel. Her hands were right on my butt, and I could not help but wonder whether she could see my balls. I could feel the cool air on them, so it made sense that she should be able to see them. My cock had grown slightly limp under my weight, but I knew the moment it got some room, it would go full mast once again. “Are you sore here?” My Aunt asked shyly. Her hands squeezed my ass very softly. “A little,” I said quietly. Slowly she started to massage my ass. The towel was now flipped up on my back. “Your butt is nice and hard,” she said, her voice a little high. “Thanks,” I said, laughing a little. After a few minutes, she asked me to flip over. A couple of things happened at once when I did. I flipped over, not thinking twice about covering myself. My Aunt had turned around to grab a small cloth and squeeze some more oil out of the bottle. She hesitated only slightly before turning back to face me. My cock was growing exponentially while my eyes feasted on the sexy mature female before me. You can imagine my Aunt's reaction when she turned. She instantly realized her nephew's young hard cock was fully displayed before her. “That looks nice and hard too…” she said a little breathlessly. Her eyes were locked on my cock. “John are you always that hard?” She asked as she remembered my hard-on from that morning. “Most of the time, yes,” I answered as I sat up to see her better. The motion made my cock sway side to side like a pendulum. “Does it hurt?” she asked curiously. “Not at all.” I said as I gingerly grabbed it and released it nonchalantly. After a few seconds of silence, I saw her inch towards me. Slowly but deliberately, her hand reached for my cock, and soon her fingers clasped around my shaft. Immediately I flexed and push my pelvis upwards, essentially engorging my cock in her hand even more. I liked the tight feeling of her hand and laid back down, relishing the sensation. Soon she was stroking me slowly. She did this for a few minutes before I heard a quiet sniffle. She had started to cry. I quickly sat up, and she said, “I loved your uncle very much you know.” I felt sick thinking that I had made a mistake. Guilt rose in me like never before. “We don't have to do this if you don't want to Aunt Rose,” I said cautiously. “No baby, It's not that…” she wiped her tears. “I'm not sad… I just really miss your Uncle. I'm so happy you are here taking care of me, I don't know how I'll ever repay you,” I sat up even straighter and kissed her. Our lips locked together, and our tongues caressed one another in a hot mess. I hurriedly reached up under her blouse and finally… finally… got a hold of one of her glorious tits. I squeezed tightly and immediately fell in love with their malleability and weight. My Aunt was in an awkward position, but still, she didn't stop stroking her oily hand up and down my shaft. She alternated her hand movements by using a twisting motion, and I could tell she was loving each vein and contour her hand could feel around my cock. I couldn't help but wonder whether having milked so many cows had made her an unknowing expert on hand jobs. Having gotten the green light, my natural reproductive instincts took over. I tore my Aunt's blouse off completely and cupped both breasts. I'm able to palm a basketball without much trouble, but I still found myself with my hands full of her wobbly breasts. I attacked each nipple with the same energy that a hungry calf has after being apart from its mother for too long. I sucked on each breast vigorously, and when I was too eager, my Aunt pulled my hair slightly, effectively taking control of how I feasted on her. After a couple of minutes, I stood up and quickly presented my cock to her. She shifted from her sitting position to a kneeling one, her breasts swaying slightly. She was about to envelop me with her mouth when I unexpectedly bent down and stabbed my cock into her hard nipples. “Jesus you can't get enough of those can you?” she asked as I rubbed my cock up and down against her hard nipples. Instead of replying, I grabbed her hands and made her squish her tits together. I thrust my cock into the fold. The head of my cock was visible only after every upward thrust. I loved watching my Aunt's eyes light up as I grunted and fucked her tits faster and faster. Finally, after having had my way with her breasts, I tempted her into taking me into her mouth. It wasn't challenging to get her to open her mouth. She had tracked my cock the second I had pulled it out of her breasts. She watched it with the same level of attention that a female dog gives to a treat it's about to receive. I swayed it side to side in front of her, and her mouth opened probably without her even knowing it. She was leaning forward and just about to wrap her lips around it when I pulled away. She quickly looked up with a face of confusion and disappointment. I smiled at her, and she responded by making a funny, angry face. “Okay, okay,” I said as I offered her my cock once again. Precum dangled on the tip of my cock; it pulsed in my hand. Aunt Rose crossed her arms and looked up and away in a classic fashion of “I'm not interested.” I regretted my teasing immediately. I watched her and examined her. Her breasts were squished underneath her arms, but they were falling and rising as she breathed. I couldn't help it… I pushed the head of my cock against her pursed lips. The precum covered her lips like a lip balm as I stroked my tip across them. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her eyes smiled, but her lips remained closed. She was making groans in anticipation. Finally, and to the great relief of my cock, I was able to coax her into opening her mouth. My guess is that the precum had given her a taste of what I had. Slowly she opened her mouth, and the mushroom head of my cock spread her lips wide. My cock filled her mouth, and at once, my cock felt at home. Soon she had one hand fondling my heavy balls while the other hand rested on my thigh, supporting her as she took long gulps of my cock. She struggled to take the last ½ inch in, but from time to time, she would grab my ass and push herself until my cock disappeared entirely into her mouth. It felt like my heart was pounding in her mouth. Small amounts of saliva dripped off the side of her mouth as she tried to sweet talk my cock into cumming. “I can't believe how hard it is,” she gasped as she took a small break and examined my cock with the help of the firelight. “You could probably hang your coat on it,” I laughed. “No kidding,” she said as she pulled a small black hair from her mouth. I noticed she was about to stand up and offered her my hand, which she took with a degree of elegance I knew she had always possessed. We kissed once again, and now I found my hand rubbing her pussy. Her light pink shorts had unmistakably grown darker between her legs, and I couldn't help but start pulling down on her shorts. She knew what I wanted and proceeded to pull her shorts down on her own. My cock was next to her face as she slipped the shorts out from underneath her. Before rising to meet my gaze again, she kissed the tip of it. It pulsed in delight, having received such affection. We embraced again, with my cock stabbing at her stomach. After breaking the embrace, I got on all fours and pushed my face upwards into her pussy, trying to breathe her in. Like a crazed dog, I moved her panties to the side and licked her wet pussy. She cooed in ecstasy. I had only licked her for a few seconds before my cock started surging in anticipation. I wanted to be inside her. Without a word, I stood up and turned her around. My Uncle's old armchair was right next to us, and it gave her a perfect perch. Her ass and pussy were fertile, and my male instincts took over. I pulled her panties to the side and saw her pussy contracting and relaxing slowly. I slapped both ass cheeks and ran my cock up and down her ass crack. I tapped it upwards on her pussy, and finally, I pressed the shaft of my cock onto her pussy. This was it. There was no turning back. She was my Aunt yes… but she was also a luscious female in heat; I couldn't ignore that even if I tried. Damn the morality of such an act; I didn't care. It didn't matter that my father had entrusted her to me. It also didn't matter that I was so much younger than her. My cock was strong and hard, and her pussy was wet and soft. Her husband was dead, and her daughter was away. She was mine for the taking. I got on my tiptoes and flexed my entire body. My hands on her hips, and my cock primed and eager to enter her. "God damn it, just put it in alrea..." She didn't finish her sentence. I cut her off by plunging my thick 7″ cock deep inside of her. She bucked like a wild mare and arched her back like a cat as I pressed my cock deeper and deeper, filling her hot pussy completely. I gripped her ass and stirred my cock in a figure-eight pattern. I probed all around and felt her from the inside out. Meanwhile, she tried to spread her stance. Pretty soon, she had given me the appropriate height to commence my furious assault. I pounded her rhythmically while watching her ass cheeks jiggle gently after every thrust. I reached down and grabbed her left breast. Her pussy tightened and relaxed as my glistening cock entered and exited her. I was relentless. She exhaled loudly, and I could see her hair sticking to the side of her face. The fire had kept us warm, but now we were burning as we continued in our sinful embrace. Her pussy felt like heaven around my cock. Her pussy was the perfect size for my thick cock, and her ability to squeeze me inside her gave me a new appreciation of the physique of a hard-working woman. Her panties rubbed against my cock; I had her hold it to the side with one hand as I continued to pound her from behind. The loud clapping sound coming after every full thrust filled the room. The crackling fire was muted as her moans and grunts echoed my efforts. After a couple of minutes, I could feel her body spasm in front of me. Her legs quivered, and she screamed, "I'm cumming!!!" She tried to pull away, looking for some respite, but I was also on the verge of exploding inside her. I brought her in close and fucked her in a blind frenzy, faster than I had ever fucked before. I was like an engine piston at full throttle. Her pussy squirted and wet everything but the ceiling. My cock and balls dripped with her love juices; both our legs sparkled after being coated with her essence. When I felt the first stream of cum racing down my hard cock I had no choice but to slow down. It didn't stop me, however, from driving my cock as deep as possible. I came like never before. Both my balls emptied into her. I stayed there cumming inside her for 3 minutes straight, pushing deeper, without pulling back. My sperm was injected deep inside her, and we both knew she would be pregnant. We were both breathing hard and her legs still quivered underneath me. She went to kneel down, and I followed her, my cock remaining inside her. I was like a dog whose knot anchored him to his bitch. I rested on her back until finally, I pulled my cock out. Cum poured out of her pussy, but I knew most of it had stayed inside. We kissed and felt each other there on the floor and fell asleep naked, our legs entwined with one another. I had bred my Aunt Rose and found a love I didn't know existed. The following morning, Aunt Rose and I were sitting in the kitchen, just chatting, when I turned to her and said, "Rose, I've decided not to return to college. I want to stay here and help you run the farm. I love this life and hated college, I felt like a cog in a huge machine." She looked at me, surprised, and said," John, are you sure that this life is what you want? As you've already found, it's not exciting like in the city. What about your future?" I looked into her eyes and stated, "Rose, this is the life I want; it IS my future. I've fallen in love with it." "John, are you absolutely sure that your decision isn't based on the sex we had?" she asked. Still looking deep in her eyes, I state, "Rose, I'm sure you'll agree that the sex was great, but that's not the reason I want to stay. I've grown to love the hard work involved in running this place. I've learned more useful information in the past couple of months then I did during a year in college. I believe this farm is my future, will you share it with me?" "Oh, John," Rose stated breathlessly," You've made me so happy with your decision. I don't think I could run the whole thing by myself." "There's another reason I want to stay, Rose. I've grown to love you, not as a nephew, but as your lover." She took my hand and kissed it, then said, "John, as you are well aware, your Uncle died two months ago. He always told me that if something happened to him, I should find someone else to love. As short as the time has been since he passed, I believe that I've found that someone; you. We can't be married, but will you live with me, as my husband?" I returned the gesture and said," Only if you'll live with me, as my wife." I then continued," I need to call Mom and Dad this evening and let them know that I'm staying here and not going back to college." After we ate supper and cleaned the kitchen that evening, I pulled out my cell phone. "Call them now," Rose exclaimed, "Just be sure not to say anything about 'us'." I put the phone on speaker and dialed Dad's cell number. He answered and said, "Hold on, I'm putting the phone on speaker so Mom can also talk." I heard him call Mom over, then heard her say, "Hi John, how are you?" I told them I was doing well, and so was Aunt Rose. I then proceeded to tell them why I called, " Mom and Dad, I've made a decision about my future. I'm not going back to college, I'm going to stay here and help Aunt Rose with the farm. I've come to love the farm life and this is what I want to do for the rest of my life." Dad said," While I'm disappointed that you won't go back to college, I'm proud that you finally made a decision about what you want to do with your life. It also lifts my apprehension about what your Aunt was going to do when you left." Mom then chimed in with," Are you sure that's what you want, Honey?" "Yes Mom, I'm absolutely sure," I replied. "Okay then," said Dad, "I'm going to transfer the balance of your college funds into your personal checking account. Use the money as you need it, but don't go nuts." "I won't Dad. There's still money left from your original deposit," I chuckled. "Is Aunt Rose handy?" Dad asked. "She's been listening to our whole conversation, Dad," I replied. "Hi Rose," he stated, "Has John been behaving himself?" "Yes, Tom, he has," she stated, then continued," He works as hard as James did and has even made some improvements to the house. He told me about his decision this morning. I couldn't be happier, although I am surprised. It has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders. I don't know what I would have done without him here. Thank you so much for suggesting it." "Rose, you know I'd do anything for my sister," replied Dad. "I know you would, Tom. I'm just extremely surprised that a man as young as your son is just as generous as you." "His decision has made me very proud," said Dad. "I just wanted him to let you know about his decision. We'll be going now," said Rose. "Okay," said Dad, "You continue taking good care her, John. You've made us very proud. Goodnight." "Goodnight Dad, goodnight Mom," I replied and disconnected. I turned to Rose and opened my arms. She came to me, and we kissed passionately. I broke the kiss and whispered in her ear, "My wife, are you ready to go to bed?" She whispered back to me," Only if we're going to fool around, my husband." And so it was that we became a 'married couple' instead of lovers. A month later, it was confirmed, my 'wife' was pregnant. by  Jism786 for Literotica.

Auntie finds comfort and passion. by  Jism786. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Significant changes started occurring after my Aunt stopped wearing her black attire. Since the funeral, she had been wearing nothing but black, but she was back to her everyday wear after two weeks. The truth was that her black clothes just didn't cut it when it came to working on the farm. However, with this change also came some unexpected challenges. I couldn't help but stare at her after she started wearing her everyday work clothes.  Her work jeans hugged tightly around her legs and butt, and it was lovely to see her walk to and fro.Her behind was plump, and her jeans only highlighted its perfection. I had always known her breasts were relatively large but watching her walk around the farm and house really extenuated the bosom she possessed. She was truly well endowed in this respect. The years had taken some of the perkiness away, but in its place, a beautiful supple body now remained. One day, as I was working on a fence near the barn, I saw her washing some rags on an old fashioned washboard. The way her breasts moved freely as she plunged the rags up and down the board was hypnotizing. If she was wearing a bra, it wasn't helping. Her shirt wasn't skin tight but tight enough to see the roundness of their shape as they bounced up and down. I soon felt my cock pulsating in my jeans, and I couldn't help but stand up as my cock rectified itself longways down my leg. I felt ashamed and embarrassed at my reaction, but what could I do. It had been weeks since I had any sort of release. I had no girlfriend back home, and I didn't really feel like masturbating in the house of my dead Uncle. It also didn't help that I was now sleeping in my cousin's room. That night, however, I was unable to keep myself from stroking my cock. In the silence of the night, I pictured my Aunt on that washboard. Soon I was shooting cum into the air, and at once, I was plagued with guilt. A few weeks turned into two months of working on the farm. I had decided about my future; I love this life, and I'm going to stay here. I actually loved the farm life. A few days after making my decision, I worked like a machine, repairing fences, and didn't' stop until the sun went down. By the time I got back from the field, a heavy rainstorm had started to unleash its fury, and I was completely soaked. My Aunt had dinner waiting, and I wasted no time in changing and eating the hearty meal. After dinner, we went out on the porch to watch the rain coming down. It was really pouring, and I couldn't help but smile as my Aunt cuddled next to me. She shuddered after every thunderclap, and I couldn't help but feel more manly as she took comfort at my side. After a while, it became too windy, and we decided to head inside. We were sitting in the living room when she suddenly said, “Do you mind sleeping in my room tonight? I'm kind of a scaredy-cat when it comes to thunder.” “No, I don't mind, Aunt Rose,” I replied, maybe a little too quickly. “It's just, I never really liked lightning and thunder….” she trailed off. “Your uncle…your uncle used to tease me about that,” her voice wandered off as she remembered her dead husband. “It's okay. I'll help you feel safe…,” I said. I had planned to not act on my natural tendencies and behave as gentlemanly as possible. I had fought the battle in my head already, and I had won. I would only comfort her and nothing more. I held her all through the night as the lightning and thunder prevailed long into the night. Although I had decided to not cross the moral line, my body didn't know any better. My cock throbbed against my Aunt's back and remained so well into the night. Like a strong, dark guardian holding vigil, my cock rested against her sleeping body. I struggled to sleep as I considered the fact that my Uncle had slept on this same bed. Perhaps he had made love to her only days ago, and yet here I was in his place. I awoke a few times to hear my Aunt sobbing quietly and would only wrap my arms tighter around her to assure her that I was there to protect her. I had a lot of work the next morning due to the storm. For eight hours, I worked diligently, replacing shingles and repairing things around the farm that had gotten damaged by the devastating wind. By the end of the day, my body ached. Small blisters had appeared on my hand from where I had gripped the hammer. My Aunt had always been attentive to my needs, but I immediately noticed a change in her demeanor when I went into the house. Where before, she had treated me as her young, clueless nephew, she now spoke to me no different than a wife would talk to a husband. “What would like to eat, dear?” She asked while she folded my coat. “I'll eat anything,” I told her. “I'm starving.” “Alright then, spaghetti it is…” she said. “Maybe later, I can give you a massage honey, it looks like you can use it,” she added. Indeed I really could use one. My arms and back were burning, and I knew I would enjoy having my Aunt feeling me up after a long day's work. “Yeah that sounds nice,” I replied. “You better get washed up then,” she said suggested. I headed into the shower and stripped my clothes. I slid back the clear glass door of the shower and stepped inside as the warm water started to steam up around me. I had small cuts on my hands, and using the soap stung them as I washed. Nevertheless, I persevered and cleaned as best I could. I was fully lathered in soap when I heard a knock at the door. “Yes?” I called out. “Honey, I have a wash going do you have your clothes in here? I didn't see them in your room.” She said. “Yeah, they're in here,” I replied as I tried to wash some of the soap off my face. Slowly the door creaked open, and I saw my Aunt gingerly step in. I had left my clothes right outside the shower door, so she had no choice but to venture all the way inside. Unlike the day before, I found myself lacking any sense of embarrassment. Having held her all through the night had given me a confidence that had not been there before. That and the fact that I had worked my ass off gave me a sense of empowerment that I really liked. I watched my Aunt's eyes as she desperately tried to concentrate on the pile of clothes. Although the steam did provide some cover, it wasn't enough to stifle her curiosity. As she leaned down to pick up the pile of clothes, my cock pulsated, slowly growing aware of the presence of the female before it. After each heartbeat, it gained strength. By the time she had all my clothes in her hands, my cock was already at full mast, with water trickling off its tip. As she went to stand up, her gaze wandered until it finally locked onto my engorged member. As soon as I saw her fixated, I stabbed my cock sideways against the glass. The glass door rattled, and my Aunt fell backward while clutching my clothes tightly against her bosom. “John honestly!” She stammered. I laughed out loud at her befuddlement. Quickly she gathered herself and walked out of the bathroom. I gave my cock a few short strokes but decided not to release my load, considering I would be getting a massage from my Aunt shortly. Although I had committed myself not to cross the line, I found myself not trying very hard. Subconsciously, I wanted to seduce my full-figured Aunt. I had become infatuated with every part of her body. Her hips had been difficult to ignore. They reminded me of the hips in a Venus painting I had once seen. ( Nude Venus at Her Mirror Painting by Diego Velázquez ) I loved how smooth her skin was, and thinking about rubbing my hard cock against it made me want her even more. I finished my shower with my hard-on intact. I put on some clean underwear and went to the kitchen to eat supper. Rose looked at me and said, “I've noticed that you've gotten into the habit of coming in here like that, dear.” “Like what?” I asked. “In just your underwear, dear,” she replied. I looked at her and said, “It's more comfortable after working outdoors all day. Do you want me to put on some clothes?” “Umm, no dear, it's not necessary. I'm just not used to it.” Rose plated our meals and brought them to the table. We ate and had a casual conversation about the farm and the neighbors. When we finished eating, Rose cleared the table, and I helped her wash the dishes. “Thanks for the help with the dishes, dear. You didn't have to, you know,” Rose said, and kissed my cheek. “You cook, wash my clothes, and take care of me. It's the least I could do,” I replied. “Are you ready for your massage, dear?” she asked. “Give me a minute,” I said, “I'll meet you in the living room.” I went to the bathroom, took off my underwear, and wrapped a towel around my waist. As I stared down the hallway, I was entranced by my Aunt, who was sitting Indian-style, reading a book. She was wearing short pink shorts, which said “lovable” across the back. I remember admiring how the word stretched slightly due to the ample size of her ass. She had a short button-up blouse, but her tits were partly visible through the gaps between each button. It also didn't help that she had not fastened the top three buttons. She had her reading glasses on, and her brown hair fell down the left side of her face. She looked a lot younger, sitting like that next to the fireplace. In a daze, I walked towards her with only the small white towel wrapped around me. Before I made my presence known, she put her book down and stretched. Her arms reached for the ceiling, and her back arched like a limber gymnast. Her breasts pushed hard against her blouse, and the buttons strained to contain the bounty she possessed. As she lowered her arms, she saw me. “Honey, aren't you going to put some clothes on?” Rose asked incredulously. “I thought you were going to give me a massage,” I said in a child-like voice. “Well yeah, but you could put some clothes on you know…” she said. “No, its okay. I don't want to get any oil on them, ” I said quickly when I saw the bottle of oil next to her. “hmm… makes sense I suppose,” She said slowly and thoughtfully. She was gauging my intentions, I could clearly see. She extended a bath towel on the carpet and laid a pillow on one side. “Well, come over here,” she beckoned with both hands. I strode towards her, and I could see her eyeing my body behind the glare of her glasses. Watching her do this made me even more excited. I laid face down and unwrapped the towel, letting it cover my ass. Soon after, I felt my Aunt's weight over me as she straddled me. I could feel her soft legs with my hands as she started massaging my shoulders. I could see her shadow against the wall, and I could already imagine her breasts swaying back and forth as she ran her hands across my back. “You're back is really tense hon,” she said finally. “That's all muscle Aunt Rose,” I said coyly. “Ain't that the truth…” she trailed off. Soon she slid down to my legs and started working my calves. Slowly she inched her way upwards until she reached what the towel-covered. I felt a slight hesitation before her hands slid under the small towel. Her hands were right on my butt, and I could not help but wonder whether she could see my balls. I could feel the cool air on them, so it made sense that she should be able to see them. My cock had grown slightly limp under my weight, but I knew the moment it got some room, it would go full mast once again. “Are you sore here?” My Aunt asked shyly. Her hands squeezed my ass very softly. “A little,” I said quietly. Slowly she started to massage my ass. The towel was now flipped up on my back. “Your butt is nice and hard,” she said, her voice a little high. “Thanks,” I said, laughing a little. After a few minutes, she asked me to flip over. A couple of things happened at once when I did. I flipped over, not thinking twice about covering myself. My Aunt had turned around to grab a small cloth and squeeze some more oil out of the bottle. She hesitated only slightly before turning back to face me. My cock was growing exponentially while my eyes feasted on the sexy mature female before me. You can imagine my Aunt's reaction when she turned. She instantly realized her nephew's young hard cock was fully displayed before her. “That looks nice and hard too…” she said a little breathlessly. Her eyes were locked on my cock. “John are you always that hard?” She asked as she remembered my hard-on from that morning. “Most of the time, yes,” I answered as I sat up to see her better. The motion made my cock sway side to side like a pendulum. “Does it hurt?” she asked curiously. “Not at all.” I said as I gingerly grabbed it and released it nonchalantly. After a few seconds of silence, I saw her inch towards me. Slowly but deliberately, her hand reached for my cock, and soon her fingers clasped around my shaft. Immediately I flexed and push my pelvis upwards, essentially engorging my cock in her hand even more. I liked the tight feeling of her hand and laid back down, relishing the sensation. Soon she was stroking me slowly. She did this for a few minutes before I heard a quiet sniffle. She had started to cry. I quickly sat up, and she said, “I loved your uncle very much you know.” I felt sick thinking that I had made a mistake. Guilt rose in me like never before. “We don't have to do this if you don't want to Aunt Rose,” I said cautiously. “No baby, It's not that…” she wiped her tears. “I'm not sad… I just really miss your Uncle. I'm so happy you are here taking care of me, I don't know how I'll ever repay you,” I sat up even straighter and kissed her. Our lips locked together, and our tongues caressed one another in a hot mess. I hurriedly reached up under her blouse and finally… finally… got a hold of one of her glorious tits. I squeezed tightly and immediately fell in love with their malleability and weight. My Aunt was in an awkward position, but still, she didn't stop stroking her oily hand up and down my shaft. She alternated her hand movements by using a twisting motion, and I could tell she was loving each vein and contour her hand could feel around my cock. I couldn't help but wonder whether having milked so many cows had made her an unknowing expert on hand jobs. Having gotten the green light, my natural reproductive instincts took over. I tore my Aunt's blouse off completely and cupped both breasts. I'm able to palm a basketball without much trouble, but I still found myself with my hands full of her wobbly breasts. I attacked each nipple with the same energy that a hungry calf has after being apart from its mother for too long. I sucked on each breast vigorously, and when I was too eager, my Aunt pulled my hair slightly, effectively taking control of how I feasted on her. After a couple of minutes, I stood up and quickly presented my cock to her. She shifted from her sitting position to a kneeling one, her breasts swaying slightly. She was about to envelop me with her mouth when I unexpectedly bent down and stabbed my cock into her hard nipples. “Jesus you can't get enough of those can you?” she asked as I rubbed my cock up and down against her hard nipples. Instead of replying, I grabbed her hands and made her squish her tits together. I thrust my cock into the fold. The head of my cock was visible only after every upward thrust. I loved watching my Aunt's eyes light up as I grunted and fucked her tits faster and faster. Finally, after having had my way with her breasts, I tempted her into taking me into her mouth. It wasn't challenging to get her to open her mouth. She had tracked my cock the second I had pulled it out of her breasts. She watched it with the same level of attention that a female dog gives to a treat it's about to receive. I swayed it side to side in front of her, and her mouth opened probably without her even knowing it. She was leaning forward and just about to wrap her lips around it when I pulled away. She quickly looked up with a face of confusion and disappointment. I smiled at her, and she responded by making a funny, angry face. “Okay, okay,” I said as I offered her my cock once again. Precum dangled on the tip of my cock; it pulsed in my hand. Aunt Rose crossed her arms and looked up and away in a classic fashion of “I'm not interested.” I regretted my teasing immediately. I watched her and examined her. Her breasts were squished underneath her arms, but they were falling and rising as she breathed. I couldn't help it… I pushed the head of my cock against her pursed lips. The precum covered her lips like a lip balm as I stroked my tip across them. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her eyes smiled, but her lips remained closed. She was making groans in anticipation. Finally, and to the great relief of my cock, I was able to coax her into opening her mouth. My guess is that the precum had given her a taste of what I had. Slowly she opened her mouth, and the mushroom head of my cock spread her lips wide. My cock filled her mouth, and at once, my cock felt at home. Soon she had one hand fondling my heavy balls while the other hand rested on my thigh, supporting her as she took long gulps of my cock. She struggled to take the last ½ inch in, but from time to time, she would grab my ass and push herself until my cock disappeared entirely into her mouth. It felt like my heart was pounding in her mouth. Small amounts of saliva dripped off the side of her mouth as she tried to sweet talk my cock into cumming. “I can't believe how hard it is,” she gasped as she took a small break and examined my cock with the help of the firelight. “You could probably hang your coat on it,” I laughed. “No kidding,” she said as she pulled a small black hair from her mouth. I noticed she was about to stand up and offered her my hand, which she took with a degree of elegance I knew she had always possessed. We kissed once again, and now I found my hand rubbing her pussy. Her light pink shorts had unmistakably grown darker between her legs, and I couldn't help but start pulling down on her shorts. She knew what I wanted and proceeded to pull her shorts down on her own. My cock was next to her face as she slipped the shorts out from underneath her. Before rising to meet my gaze again, she kissed the tip of it. It pulsed in delight, having received such affection. We embraced again, with my cock stabbing at her stomach. After breaking the embrace, I got on all fours and pushed my face upwards into her pussy, trying to breathe her in. Like a crazed dog, I moved her panties to the side and licked her wet pussy. She cooed in ecstasy. I had only licked her for a few seconds before my cock started surging in anticipation. I wanted to be inside her. Without a word, I stood up and turned her around. My Uncle's old armchair was right next to us, and it gave her a perfect perch. Her ass and pussy were fertile, and my male instincts took over. I pulled her panties to the side and saw her pussy contracting and relaxing slowly. I slapped both ass cheeks and ran my cock up and down her ass crack. I tapped it upwards on her pussy, and finally, I pressed the shaft of my cock onto her pussy. This was it. There was no turning back. She was my Aunt yes… but she was also a luscious female in heat; I couldn't ignore that even if I tried. Damn the morality of such an act; I didn't care. It didn't matter that my father had entrusted her to me. It also didn't matter that I was so much younger than her. My cock was strong and hard, and her pussy was wet and soft. Her husband was dead, and her daughter was away. She was mine for the taking. I got on my tiptoes and flexed my entire body. My hands on her hips, and my cock primed and eager to enter her. "God damn it, just put it in alrea..." She didn't finish her sentence. I cut her off by plunging my thick 7″ cock deep inside of her. She bucked like a wild mare and arched her back like a cat as I pressed my cock deeper and deeper, filling her hot pussy completely. I gripped her ass and stirred my cock in a figure-eight pattern. I probed all around and felt her from the inside out. Meanwhile, she tried to spread her stance. Pretty soon, she had given me the appropriate height to commence my furious assault. I pounded her rhythmically while watching her ass cheeks jiggle gently after every thrust. I reached down and grabbed her left breast. Her pussy tightened and relaxed as my glistening cock entered and exited her. I was relentless. She exhaled loudly, and I could see her hair sticking to the side of her face. The fire had kept us warm, but now we were burning as we continued in our sinful embrace. Her pussy felt like heaven around my cock. Her pussy was the perfect size for my thick cock, and her ability to squeeze me inside her gave me a new appreciation of the physique of a hard-working woman. Her panties rubbed against my cock; I had her hold it to the side with one hand as I continued to pound her from behind. The loud clapping sound coming after every full thrust filled the room. The crackling fire was muted as her moans and grunts echoed my efforts. After a couple of minutes, I could feel her body spasm in front of me. Her legs quivered, and she screamed, "I'm cumming!!!" She tried to pull away, looking for some respite, but I was also on the verge of exploding inside her. I brought her in close and fucked her in a blind frenzy, faster than I had ever fucked before. I was like an engine piston at full throttle. Her pussy squirted and wet everything but the ceiling. My cock and balls dripped with her love juices; both our legs sparkled after being coated with her essence. When I felt the first stream of cum racing down my hard cock I had no choice but to slow down. It didn't stop me, however, from driving my cock as deep as possible. I came like never before. Both my balls emptied into her. I stayed there cumming inside her for 3 minutes straight, pushing deeper, without pulling back. My sperm was injected deep inside her, and we both knew she would be pregnant. We were both breathing hard and her legs still quivered underneath me. She went to kneel down, and I followed her, my cock remaining inside her. I was like a dog whose knot anchored him to his bitch. I rested on her back until finally, I pulled my cock out. Cum poured out of her pussy, but I knew most of it had stayed inside. We kissed and felt each other there on the floor and fell asleep naked, our legs entwined with one another. I had bred my Aunt Rose and found a love I didn't know existed. The following morning, Aunt Rose and I were sitting in the kitchen, just chatting, when I turned to her and said, "Rose, I've decided not to return to college. I want to stay here and help you run the farm. I love this life and hated college, I felt like a cog in a huge machine." She looked at me, surprised, and said," John, are you sure that this life is what you want? As you've already found, it's not exciting like in the city. What about your future?" I looked into her eyes and stated, "Rose, this is the life I want; it IS my future. I've fallen in love with it." "John, are you absolutely sure that your decision isn't based on the sex we had?" she asked. Still looking deep in her eyes, I state, "Rose, I'm sure you'll agree that the sex was great, but that's not the reason I want to stay. I've grown to love the hard work involved in running this place. I've learned more useful information in the past couple of months then I did during a year in college. I believe this farm is my future, will you share it with me?" "Oh, John," Rose stated breathlessly," You've made me so happy with your decision. I don't think I could run the whole thing by myself." "There's another reason I want to stay, Rose. I've grown to love you, not as a nephew, but as your lover." She took my hand and kissed it, then said, "John, as you are well aware, your Uncle died two months ago. He always told me that if something happened to him, I should find someone else to love. As short as the time has been since he passed, I believe that I've found that someone; you. We can't be married, but will you live with me, as my husband?" I returned the gesture and said," Only if you'll live with me, as my wife." I then continued," I need to call Mom and Dad this evening and let them know that I'm staying here and not going back to college." After we ate supper and cleaned the kitchen that evening, I pulled out my cell phone. "Call them now," Rose exclaimed, "Just be sure not to say anything about 'us'." I put the phone on speaker and dialed Dad's cell number. He answered and said, "Hold on, I'm putting the phone on speaker so Mom can also talk." I heard him call Mom over, then heard her say, "Hi John, how are you?" I told them I was doing well, and so was Aunt Rose. I then proceeded to tell them why I called, " Mom and Dad, I've made a decision about my future. I'm not going back to college, I'm going to stay here and help Aunt Rose with the farm. I've come to love the farm life and this is what I want to do for the rest of my life." Dad said," While I'm disappointed that you won't go back to college, I'm proud that you finally made a decision about what you want to do with your life. It also lifts my apprehension about what your Aunt was going to do when you left." Mom then chimed in with," Are you sure that's what you want, Honey?" "Yes Mom, I'm absolutely sure," I replied. "Okay then," said Dad, "I'm going to transfer the balance of your college funds into your personal checking account. Use the money as you need it, but don't go nuts." "I won't Dad. There's still money left from your original deposit," I chuckled. "Is Aunt Rose handy?" Dad asked. "She's been listening to our whole conversation, Dad," I replied. "Hi Rose," he stated, "Has John been behaving himself?" "Yes, Tom, he has," she stated, then continued," He works as hard as James did and has even made some improvements to the house. He told me about his decision this morning. I couldn't be happier, although I am surprised. It has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders. I don't know what I would have done without him here. Thank you so much for suggesting it." "Rose, you know I'd do anything for my sister," replied Dad. "I know you would, Tom. I'm just extremely surprised that a man as young as your son is just as generous as you." "His decision has made me very proud," said Dad. "I just wanted him to let you know about his decision. We'll be going now," said Rose. "Okay," said Dad, "You continue taking good care her, John. You've made us very proud. Goodnight." "Goodnight Dad, goodnight Mom," I replied and disconnected. I turned to Rose and opened my arms. She came to me, and we kissed passionately. I broke the kiss and whispered in her ear, "My wife, are you ready to go to bed?" She whispered back to me," Only if we're going to fool around, my husband." And so it was that we became a 'married couple' instead of lovers. A month later, it was confirmed, my 'wife' was pregnant. by  Jism786 for Literotica.

Auntie finds comfort and passion. by  Jism786. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Significant changes started occurring after my Aunt stopped wearing her black attire. Since the funeral, she had been wearing nothing but black, but she was back to her everyday wear after two weeks. The truth was that her black clothes just didn't cut it when it came to working on the farm. However, with this change also came some unexpected challenges. I couldn't help but stare at her after she started wearing her everyday work clothes.  Her work jeans hugged tightly around her legs and butt, and it was lovely to see her walk to and fro.Her behind was plump, and her jeans only highlighted its perfection. I had always known her breasts were relatively large but watching her walk around the farm and house really extenuated the bosom she possessed. She was truly well endowed in this respect. The years had taken some of the perkiness away, but in its place, a beautiful supple body now remained. One day, as I was working on a fence near the barn, I saw her washing some rags on an old fashioned washboard. The way her breasts moved freely as she plunged the rags up and down the board was hypnotizing. If she was wearing a bra, it wasn't helping. Her shirt wasn't skin tight but tight enough to see the roundness of their shape as they bounced up and down. I soon felt my cock pulsating in my jeans, and I couldn't help but stand up as my cock rectified itself longways down my leg. I felt ashamed and embarrassed at my reaction, but what could I do. It had been weeks since I had any sort of release. I had no girlfriend back home, and I didn't really feel like masturbating in the house of my dead Uncle. It also didn't help that I was now sleeping in my cousin's room. That night, however, I was unable to keep myself from stroking my cock. In the silence of the night, I pictured my Aunt on that washboard. Soon I was shooting cum into the air, and at once, I was plagued with guilt. A few weeks turned into two months of working on the farm. I had decided about my future; I love this life, and I'm going to stay here. I actually loved the farm life. A few days after making my decision, I worked like a machine, repairing fences, and didn't' stop until the sun went down. By the time I got back from the field, a heavy rainstorm had started to unleash its fury, and I was completely soaked. My Aunt had dinner waiting, and I wasted no time in changing and eating the hearty meal. After dinner, we went out on the porch to watch the rain coming down. It was really pouring, and I couldn't help but smile as my Aunt cuddled next to me. She shuddered after every thunderclap, and I couldn't help but feel more manly as she took comfort at my side. After a while, it became too windy, and we decided to head inside. We were sitting in the living room when she suddenly said, “Do you mind sleeping in my room tonight? I'm kind of a scaredy-cat when it comes to thunder.” “No, I don't mind, Aunt Rose,” I replied, maybe a little too quickly. “It's just, I never really liked lightning and thunder….” she trailed off. “Your uncle…your uncle used to tease me about that,” her voice wandered off as she remembered her dead husband. “It's okay. I'll help you feel safe…,” I said. I had planned to not act on my natural tendencies and behave as gentlemanly as possible. I had fought the battle in my head already, and I had won. I would only comfort her and nothing more. I held her all through the night as the lightning and thunder prevailed long into the night. Although I had decided to not cross the moral line, my body didn't know any better. My cock throbbed against my Aunt's back and remained so well into the night. Like a strong, dark guardian holding vigil, my cock rested against her sleeping body. I struggled to sleep as I considered the fact that my Uncle had slept on this same bed. Perhaps he had made love to her only days ago, and yet here I was in his place. I awoke a few times to hear my Aunt sobbing quietly and would only wrap my arms tighter around her to assure her that I was there to protect her. I had a lot of work the next morning due to the storm. For eight hours, I worked diligently, replacing shingles and repairing things around the farm that had gotten damaged by the devastating wind. By the end of the day, my body ached. Small blisters had appeared on my hand from where I had gripped the hammer. My Aunt had always been attentive to my needs, but I immediately noticed a change in her demeanor when I went into the house. Where before, she had treated me as her young, clueless nephew, she now spoke to me no different than a wife would talk to a husband. “What would like to eat, dear?” She asked while she folded my coat. “I'll eat anything,” I told her. “I'm starving.” “Alright then, spaghetti it is…” she said. “Maybe later, I can give you a massage honey, it looks like you can use it,” she added. Indeed I really could use one. My arms and back were burning, and I knew I would enjoy having my Aunt feeling me up after a long day's work. “Yeah that sounds nice,” I replied. “You better get washed up then,” she said suggested. I headed into the shower and stripped my clothes. I slid back the clear glass door of the shower and stepped inside as the warm water started to steam up around me. I had small cuts on my hands, and using the soap stung them as I washed. Nevertheless, I persevered and cleaned as best I could. I was fully lathered in soap when I heard a knock at the door. “Yes?” I called out. “Honey, I have a wash going do you have your clothes in here? I didn't see them in your room.” She said. “Yeah, they're in here,” I replied as I tried to wash some of the soap off my face. Slowly the door creaked open, and I saw my Aunt gingerly step in. I had left my clothes right outside the shower door, so she had no choice but to venture all the way inside. Unlike the day before, I found myself lacking any sense of embarrassment. Having held her all through the night had given me a confidence that had not been there before. That and the fact that I had worked my ass off gave me a sense of empowerment that I really liked. I watched my Aunt's eyes as she desperately tried to concentrate on the pile of clothes. Although the steam did provide some cover, it wasn't enough to stifle her curiosity. As she leaned down to pick up the pile of clothes, my cock pulsated, slowly growing aware of the presence of the female before it. After each heartbeat, it gained strength. By the time she had all my clothes in her hands, my cock was already at full mast, with water trickling off its tip. As she went to stand up, her gaze wandered until it finally locked onto my engorged member. As soon as I saw her fixated, I stabbed my cock sideways against the glass. The glass door rattled, and my Aunt fell backward while clutching my clothes tightly against her bosom. “John honestly!” She stammered. I laughed out loud at her befuddlement. Quickly she gathered herself and walked out of the bathroom. I gave my cock a few short strokes but decided not to release my load, considering I would be getting a massage from my Aunt shortly. Although I had committed myself not to cross the line, I found myself not trying very hard. Subconsciously, I wanted to seduce my full-figured Aunt. I had become infatuated with every part of her body. Her hips had been difficult to ignore. They reminded me of the hips in a Venus painting I had once seen. ( Nude Venus at Her Mirror Painting by Diego Velázquez ) I loved how smooth her skin was, and thinking about rubbing my hard cock against it made me want her even more. I finished my shower with my hard-on intact. I put on some clean underwear and went to the kitchen to eat supper. Rose looked at me and said, “I've noticed that you've gotten into the habit of coming in here like that, dear.” “Like what?” I asked. “In just your underwear, dear,” she replied. I looked at her and said, “It's more comfortable after working outdoors all day. Do you want me to put on some clothes?” “Umm, no dear, it's not necessary. I'm just not used to it.” Rose plated our meals and brought them to the table. We ate and had a casual conversation about the farm and the neighbors. When we finished eating, Rose cleared the table, and I helped her wash the dishes. “Thanks for the help with the dishes, dear. You didn't have to, you know,” Rose said, and kissed my cheek. “You cook, wash my clothes, and take care of me. It's the least I could do,” I replied. “Are you ready for your massage, dear?” she asked. “Give me a minute,” I said, “I'll meet you in the living room.” I went to the bathroom, took off my underwear, and wrapped a towel around my waist. As I stared down the hallway, I was entranced by my Aunt, who was sitting Indian-style, reading a book. She was wearing short pink shorts, which said “lovable” across the back. I remember admiring how the word stretched slightly due to the ample size of her ass. She had a short button-up blouse, but her tits were partly visible through the gaps between each button. It also didn't help that she had not fastened the top three buttons. She had her reading glasses on, and her brown hair fell down the left side of her face. She looked a lot younger, sitting like that next to the fireplace. In a daze, I walked towards her with only the small white towel wrapped around me. Before I made my presence known, she put her book down and stretched. Her arms reached for the ceiling, and her back arched like a limber gymnast. Her breasts pushed hard against her blouse, and the buttons strained to contain the bounty she possessed. As she lowered her arms, she saw me. “Honey, aren't you going to put some clothes on?” Rose asked incredulously. “I thought you were going to give me a massage,” I said in a child-like voice. “Well yeah, but you could put some clothes on you know…” she said. “No, its okay. I don't want to get any oil on them, ” I said quickly when I saw the bottle of oil next to her. “hmm… makes sense I suppose,” She said slowly and thoughtfully. She was gauging my intentions, I could clearly see. She extended a bath towel on the carpet and laid a pillow on one side. “Well, come over here,” she beckoned with both hands. I strode towards her, and I could see her eyeing my body behind the glare of her glasses. Watching her do this made me even more excited. I laid face down and unwrapped the towel, letting it cover my ass. Soon after, I felt my Aunt's weight over me as she straddled me. I could feel her soft legs with my hands as she started massaging my shoulders. I could see her shadow against the wall, and I could already imagine her breasts swaying back and forth as she ran her hands across my back. “You're back is really tense hon,” she said finally. “That's all muscle Aunt Rose,” I said coyly. “Ain't that the truth…” she trailed off. Soon she slid down to my legs and started working my calves. Slowly she inched her way upwards until she reached what the towel-covered. I felt a slight hesitation before her hands slid under the small towel. Her hands were right on my butt, and I could not help but wonder whether she could see my balls. I could feel the cool air on them, so it made sense that she should be able to see them. My cock had grown slightly limp under my weight, but I knew the moment it got some room, it would go full mast once again. “Are you sore here?” My Aunt asked shyly. Her hands squeezed my ass very softly. “A little,” I said quietly. Slowly she started to massage my ass. The towel was now flipped up on my back. “Your butt is nice and hard,” she said, her voice a little high. “Thanks,” I said, laughing a little. After a few minutes, she asked me to flip over. A couple of things happened at once when I did. I flipped over, not thinking twice about covering myself. My Aunt had turned around to grab a small cloth and squeeze some more oil out of the bottle. She hesitated only slightly before turning back to face me. My cock was growing exponentially while my eyes feasted on the sexy mature female before me. You can imagine my Aunt's reaction when she turned. She instantly realized her nephew's young hard cock was fully displayed before her. “That looks nice and hard too…” she said a little breathlessly. Her eyes were locked on my cock. “John are you always that hard?” She asked as she remembered my hard-on from that morning. “Most of the time, yes,” I answered as I sat up to see her better. The motion made my cock sway side to side like a pendulum. “Does it hurt?” she asked curiously. “Not at all.” I said as I gingerly grabbed it and released it nonchalantly. After a few seconds of silence, I saw her inch towards me. Slowly but deliberately, her hand reached for my cock, and soon her fingers clasped around my shaft. Immediately I flexed and push my pelvis upwards, essentially engorging my cock in her hand even more. I liked the tight feeling of her hand and laid back down, relishing the sensation. Soon she was stroking me slowly. She did this for a few minutes before I heard a quiet sniffle. She had started to cry. I quickly sat up, and she said, “I loved your uncle very much you know.” I felt sick thinking that I had made a mistake. Guilt rose in me like never before. “We don't have to do this if you don't want to Aunt Rose,” I said cautiously. “No baby, It's not that…” she wiped her tears. “I'm not sad… I just really miss your Uncle. I'm so happy you are here taking care of me, I don't know how I'll ever repay you,” I sat up even straighter and kissed her. Our lips locked together, and our tongues caressed one another in a hot mess. I hurriedly reached up under her blouse and finally… finally… got a hold of one of her glorious tits. I squeezed tightly and immediately fell in love with their malleability and weight. My Aunt was in an awkward position, but still, she didn't stop stroking her oily hand up and down my shaft. She alternated her hand movements by using a twisting motion, and I could tell she was loving each vein and contour her hand could feel around my cock. I couldn't help but wonder whether having milked so many cows had made her an unknowing expert on hand jobs. Having gotten the green light, my natural reproductive instincts took over. I tore my Aunt's blouse off completely and cupped both breasts. I'm able to palm a basketball without much trouble, but I still found myself with my hands full of her wobbly breasts. I attacked each nipple with the same energy that a hungry calf has after being apart from its mother for too long. I sucked on each breast vigorously, and when I was too eager, my Aunt pulled my hair slightly, effectively taking control of how I feasted on her. After a couple of minutes, I stood up and quickly presented my cock to her. She shifted from her sitting position to a kneeling one, her breasts swaying slightly. She was about to envelop me with her mouth when I unexpectedly bent down and stabbed my cock into her hard nipples. “Jesus you can't get enough of those can you?” she asked as I rubbed my cock up and down against her hard nipples. Instead of replying, I grabbed her hands and made her squish her tits together. I thrust my cock into the fold. The head of my cock was visible only after every upward thrust. I loved watching my Aunt's eyes light up as I grunted and fucked her tits faster and faster. Finally, after having had my way with her breasts, I tempted her into taking me into her mouth. It wasn't challenging to get her to open her mouth. She had tracked my cock the second I had pulled it out of her breasts. She watched it with the same level of attention that a female dog gives to a treat it's about to receive. I swayed it side to side in front of her, and her mouth opened probably without her even knowing it. She was leaning forward and just about to wrap her lips around it when I pulled away. She quickly looked up with a face of confusion and disappointment. I smiled at her, and she responded by making a funny, angry face. “Okay, okay,” I said as I offered her my cock once again. Precum dangled on the tip of my cock; it pulsed in my hand. Aunt Rose crossed her arms and looked up and away in a classic fashion of “I'm not interested.” I regretted my teasing immediately. I watched her and examined her. Her breasts were squished underneath her arms, but they were falling and rising as she breathed. I couldn't help it… I pushed the head of my cock against her pursed lips. The precum covered her lips like a lip balm as I stroked my tip across them. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. Her eyes smiled, but her lips remained closed. She was making groans in anticipation. Finally, and to the great relief of my cock, I was able to coax her into opening her mouth. My guess is that the precum had given her a taste of what I had. Slowly she opened her mouth, and the mushroom head of my cock spread her lips wide. My cock filled her mouth, and at once, my cock felt at home. Soon she had one hand fondling my heavy balls while the other hand rested on my thigh, supporting her as she took long gulps of my cock. She struggled to take the last ½ inch in, but from time to time, she would grab my ass and push herself until my cock disappeared entirely into her mouth. It felt like my heart was pounding in her mouth. Small amounts of saliva dripped off the side of her mouth as she tried to sweet talk my cock into cumming. “I can't believe how hard it is,” she gasped as she took a small break and examined my cock with the help of the firelight. “You could probably hang your coat on it,” I laughed. “No kidding,” she said as she pulled a small black hair from her mouth. I noticed she was about to stand up and offered her my hand, which she took with a degree of elegance I knew she had always possessed. We kissed once again, and now I found my hand rubbing her pussy. Her light pink shorts had unmistakably grown darker between her legs, and I couldn't help but start pulling down on her shorts. She knew what I wanted and proceeded to pull her shorts down on her own. My cock was next to her face as she slipped the shorts out from underneath her. Before rising to meet my gaze again, she kissed the tip of it. It pulsed in delight, having received such affection. We embraced again, with my cock stabbing at her stomach. After breaking the embrace, I got on all fours and pushed my face upwards into her pussy, trying to breathe her in. Like a crazed dog, I moved her panties to the side and licked her wet pussy. She cooed in ecstasy. I had only licked her for a few seconds before my cock started surging in anticipation. I wanted to be inside her. Without a word, I stood up and turned her around. My Uncle's old armchair was right next to us, and it gave her a perfect perch. Her ass and pussy were fertile, and my male instincts took over. I pulled her panties to the side and saw her pussy contracting and relaxing slowly. I slapped both ass cheeks and ran my cock up and down her ass crack. I tapped it upwards on her pussy, and finally, I pressed the shaft of my cock onto her pussy. This was it. There was no turning back. She was my Aunt yes… but she was also a luscious female in heat; I couldn't ignore that even if I tried. Damn the morality of such an act; I didn't care. It didn't matter that my father had entrusted her to me. It also didn't matter that I was so much younger than her. My cock was strong and hard, and her pussy was wet and soft. Her husband was dead, and her daughter was away. She was mine for the taking. I got on my tiptoes and flexed my entire body. My hands on her hips, and my cock primed and eager to enter her. "God damn it, just put it in alrea..." She didn't finish her sentence. I cut her off by plunging my thick 7″ cock deep inside of her. She bucked like a wild mare and arched her back like a cat as I pressed my cock deeper and deeper, filling her hot pussy completely. I gripped her ass and stirred my cock in a figure-eight pattern. I probed all around and felt her from the inside out. Meanwhile, she tried to spread her stance. Pretty soon, she had given me the appropriate height to commence my furious assault. I pounded her rhythmically while watching her ass cheeks jiggle gently after every thrust. I reached down and grabbed her left breast. Her pussy tightened and relaxed as my glistening cock entered and exited her. I was relentless. She exhaled loudly, and I could see her hair sticking to the side of her face. The fire had kept us warm, but now we were burning as we continued in our sinful embrace. Her pussy felt like heaven around my cock. Her pussy was the perfect size for my thick cock, and her ability to squeeze me inside her gave me a new appreciation of the physique of a hard-working woman. Her panties rubbed against my cock; I had her hold it to the side with one hand as I continued to pound her from behind. The loud clapping sound coming after every full thrust filled the room. The crackling fire was muted as her moans and grunts echoed my efforts. After a couple of minutes, I could feel her body spasm in front of me. Her legs quivered, and she screamed, "I'm cumming!!!" She tried to pull away, looking for some respite, but I was also on the verge of exploding inside her. I brought her in close and fucked her in a blind frenzy, faster than I had ever fucked before. I was like an engine piston at full throttle. Her pussy squirted and wet everything but the ceiling. My cock and balls dripped with her love juices; both our legs sparkled after being coated with her essence. When I felt the first stream of cum racing down my hard cock I had no choice but to slow down. It didn't stop me, however, from driving my cock as deep as possible. I came like never before. Both my balls emptied into her. I stayed there cumming inside her for 3 minutes straight, pushing deeper, without pulling back. My sperm was injected deep inside her, and we both knew she would be pregnant. We were both breathing hard and her legs still quivered underneath me. She went to kneel down, and I followed her, my cock remaining inside her. I was like a dog whose knot anchored him to his bitch. I rested on her back until finally, I pulled my cock out. Cum poured out of her pussy, but I knew most of it had stayed inside. We kissed and felt each other there on the floor and fell asleep naked, our legs entwined with one another. I had bred my Aunt Rose and found a love I didn't know existed. The following morning, Aunt Rose and I were sitting in the kitchen, just chatting, when I turned to her and said, "Rose, I've decided not to return to college. I want to stay here and help you run the farm. I love this life and hated college, I felt like a cog in a huge machine." She looked at me, surprised, and said," John, are you sure that this life is what you want? As you've already found, it's not exciting like in the city. What about your future?" I looked into her eyes and stated, "Rose, this is the life I want; it IS my future. I've fallen in love with it." "John, are you absolutely sure that your decision isn't based on the sex we had?" she asked. Still looking deep in her eyes, I state, "Rose, I'm sure you'll agree that the sex was great, but that's not the reason I want to stay. I've grown to love the hard work involved in running this place. I've learned more useful information in the past couple of months then I did during a year in college. I believe this farm is my future, will you share it with me?" "Oh, John," Rose stated breathlessly," You've made me so happy with your decision. I don't think I could run the whole thing by myself." "There's another reason I want to stay, Rose. I've grown to love you, not as a nephew, but as your lover." She took my hand and kissed it, then said, "John, as you are well aware, your Uncle died two months ago. He always told me that if something happened to him, I should find someone else to love. As short as the time has been since he passed, I believe that I've found that someone; you. We can't be married, but will you live with me, as my husband?" I returned the gesture and said," Only if you'll live with me, as my wife." I then continued," I need to call Mom and Dad this evening and let them know that I'm staying here and not going back to college." After we ate supper and cleaned the kitchen that evening, I pulled out my cell phone. "Call them now," Rose exclaimed, "Just be sure not to say anything about 'us'." I put the phone on speaker and dialed Dad's cell number. He answered and said, "Hold on, I'm putting the phone on speaker so Mom can also talk." I heard him call Mom over, then heard her say, "Hi John, how are you?" I told them I was doing well, and so was Aunt Rose. I then proceeded to tell them why I called, " Mom and Dad, I've made a decision about my future. I'm not going back to college, I'm going to stay here and help Aunt Rose with the farm. I've come to love the farm life and this is what I want to do for the rest of my life." Dad said," While I'm disappointed that you won't go back to college, I'm proud that you finally made a decision about what you want to do with your life. It also lifts my apprehension about what your Aunt was going to do when you left." Mom then chimed in with," Are you sure that's what you want, Honey?" "Yes Mom, I'm absolutely sure," I replied. "Okay then," said Dad, "I'm going to transfer the balance of your college funds into your personal checking account. Use the money as you need it, but don't go nuts." "I won't Dad. There's still money left from your original deposit," I chuckled. "Is Aunt Rose handy?" Dad asked. "She's been listening to our whole conversation, Dad," I replied. "Hi Rose," he stated, "Has John been behaving himself?" "Yes, Tom, he has," she stated, then continued," He works as hard as James did and has even made some improvements to the house. He told me about his decision this morning. I couldn't be happier, although I am surprised. It has taken a huge weight off of my shoulders. I don't know what I would have done without him here. Thank you so much for suggesting it." "Rose, you know I'd do anything for my sister," replied Dad. "I know you would, Tom. I'm just extremely surprised that a man as young as your son is just as generous as you." "His decision has made me very proud," said Dad. "I just wanted him to let you know about his decision. We'll be going now," said Rose. "Okay," said Dad, "You continue taking good care her, John. You've made us very proud. Goodnight." "Goodnight Dad, goodnight Mom," I replied and disconnected. I turned to Rose and opened my arms. She came to me, and we kissed passionately. I broke the kiss and whispered in her ear, "My wife, are you ready to go to bed?" She whispered back to me," Only if we're going to fool around, my husband." And so it was that we became a 'married couple' instead of lovers. A month later, it was confirmed, my 'wife' was pregnant. by  Jism786 for Literotica.

This week, it's time to slow down.  You can subscribe to this podcast on: Podbean | Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Spotify | TUNEIN Links: Email Me | Twitter | Facebook | Website | Linkedin Mastering Your Digital Notes Organisation Course. Take The NEW COD Course The Working With… Weekly Newsletter Carl Pullein Learning Centre Carl's YouTube Channel Carl Pullein Coaching Programmes The Working With… Podcast Previous episodes page Script | 325 Hello, and welcome to episode 325 of the Working With Podcast. A podcast to answer all your questions about productivity, time management, self-development and goal planning. My name is Carl Pullein, and I am your host of this show. How often have you rushed to complete a task only to find you did it wrong or misunderstood what was required and wasted several hours doing something that wasn't required? It happens to all of us, yet it can be one of the biggest drags on your overall productivity. But here's the reassuring part: it has an easy fix. A simple change in approach can make a significant difference in your productivity and time management.  One of the advantages of the Time Sector System is it helps you to slow down by asking when you will do something rather than saying “yes” to everything and finding you have no time to do it. This then causes you to rush to complete urgent tasks (which may not be important tasks), leaving behind the important tasks.  Speed kills productivity, which may sound ironic, given that we think of productivity as doing things quickly and efficiently. And that is true, but speed ignores the “efficiency” part. Targeted speed is what you want, but to get fast at something takes practice and following a process. Without that practice and a process to follow, you leave yourself wide open to time-destroying mistakes that will need more time to rectify.  And this is what this week's question is all about.  So, let me hand you over to the Mystery Podcast Voice for this week's question. This week's question comes from John. John asks, Hi Carl, I have so many tasks, and whenever I try to get them done, I end up having to redo them because I rushed and misunderstood the task or the request was unclear. How do you overcome these kinds of problems?  Hi John, thank you for your question.  This is a speed issue. Now, this might be part of your work culture, or it could be the expectations of your customers and bosses. The demands of others can create a sense that everything is urgent, and this leads to trying to do something that requires a little thought too fast. The result being mistakes are made or the wrong thing getting done.  One of the most important parts of becoming more productive and better at managing time is slowing down. I know that might sound contrary to what you think improving productivity is all about, but you will only improve your productivity if what you do each day is the right thing and at the highest quality you are capable of.  If Toyota wanted to increase the speed at which they produced a car, they could easily do it. Instead of screwing on the front bumper with twenty turns of the screw, they could reduce that to ten. On one car, that might save one or two seconds, yet over hundreds of thousands of cars, that adds up to hours saved.  Yet, it would be a false economy. Within a few weeks, many of those cars would be returning to their dealerships with hanging-off front bumpers. The impact on their dealership's time and costs would be huge. Plus, it would destroy their reputation for quality. It would be disastrous for them in terms of costs, productivity and reputation.  Yet, so many people fall into this trap every day. They think if they rush and take shortcuts to get more things done, their productivity will improve. It won't. What it will do is create a lot of unnecessary work fixing the mistakes that were made in haste.  So what can you do? The first step is to look at the work you regularly do. Where are the processes? We all get email, Slack and Teams messages. What's your process for handling these?  There are two approaches to your communications. You can react instantly each time a message comes in. We often think this looks good. It shows we are on the ball, quick and efficient. Yet are you? Sure, some messages may require a quick yes or no, but what about those messages asking for your thoughts on something? Do you ever stop and think about your response? And then what happens to your other work? The work that is likely to be much more important? All this stopping to respond to a message and then starting again is slowing you down considerably. Of course, at the moment, you don't notice that slow down. After all, you're rushing from one thing to the next. You're busy, and you're moving fast.  But what's happening to the important work in front of you? It's not moving forward. You stop, respond to a message, then you come back to the work, and you have to refresh yourself—where were you, what were you writing, where are the reference materials? It's so easy to lose an hour or two just getting back to where you were before you allowed yourself to be interrupted.  That is not being productive. It's the reverse.  The biggest gain in productivity in car manufacturing plants was the introduction of robots. Robots don't get interrupted. They do their job without the need to respond to emails, messages and questions from colleagues. They don't need to attend meetings. As soon as you turn on the robot, it does its assigned job at the correct speed and in the correct order.  If you were to disrupt the assembly line by misaligning a chassis or not placing a wheel in the right place, that mistake would be catastrophic. Everything would come to a halt until the mistake was corrected.  For some reason, we rarely see that in ourselves. Stopping in the middle of doing focused work to respond to an email or message is disrupting your flow in the same way. It takes a disproportionate amount of time to recover and get back online.  The alternative approach is to develop a process for managing your communications. One way, for example, is to start your day by clearing your inboxes. Filter out the messages and emails you don't need to respond to, delete the junk, and move your actionable messages to an Action This Day folder.  Then, assign thirty minutes to an hour later in the day to respond to those actionable messages. Fixing that time each day helps your reputation, as your colleagues and clients quickly learn your patterns. That may not always be possible, but each day, having an amount of time for managing your communications takes the pressure off having to respond instantly, and it improves your productivity because you can focus on doing your work to the level of quality expected of you.  This also has the advantage of giving you time to think. Because when you are responding to your actionable emails and messages, you've had time to think and respond in a clear, considered way. That improved communication means you receive fewer messages asking for clarification.  For the most part, our work does not need speed. Whether you reply to an email now or in a couple of hours is not going to create an issue (seriously, it's not!) or responding to your boss's Teams message this second or in twenty minutes.  We may have conditioned ourselves to believe these things need a speedy response, but they don't. You will not lose a client because it took you two hours to respond to their email, and your boss will not fire you because it took you twenty minutes to reply to their message.  One thing that will happen if you slow down, though, is you won't make as many mistakes, and the quality of your work will improve. On top of that, when you remove the sense of urgency, you instantly calm down and feel a lot less stressed.  One thing I urge all my coaching clients to do is set aside an hour or two each day for undisturbed focus work. If you work a typical eight—or nine-hour day, protecting two of those hours still leaves you with six to seven hours when you are available for everyone else. Surely that is more than enough time? Knowing that you have two hours each day without being disturbed relieves a lot of pressure. However, this only works if you take control of your calendar. It means you plan your week—finding two hours a day and protecting them—and then decide what you will do with that time on a daily basis.  And that is a process: weekly planning to ensure you have sufficient time to complete your important work and daily planning to assign work based on the changing priorities that happen to all of us. If you can fix that to the same time each week and day, you will go a long way towards radically improving your productivity.  It doesn't matter if you are an accountant in a busy accountancy firm, a lawyer or a salesperson. Everything you do on a regular basis can be turned into a process. I have CEOs in my coaching programme who begin preparing for their board meetings fourteen days before the meeting. The preparation time is blocked out in their calendar, and it's given an appropriate priority. The steps they take to collect all the information and the document they set it out in are the same each time. They follow a process.  Processes reduce the thinking time required to do a task. This naturally speeds up your work performance without compromising quality. Because you follow the same steps each time, you know where you are with the work. It also helps you to identify areas where improvements can be made.  Whenever I watch Formula 1 racing, I'm amazed at the speed at which the pit crews can change four tyres. Two years ago, the McLaren team broke the record with a time of 1.82 seconds. In the last race in Monaco, almost every team was changing the tyres in under two seconds. That wasn't an accident. That was a process.  The pit crews will have analysed in the minutest of detail how McLaren was able to do 1.82 seconds and changed their processes ever so minutely. That analysis has saved them, on average, three-tenths of a second. A tiny amount, yes, but in Formula 1, every tenth of a second counts.  If you watch the pit crews at work in a race, they are not panicking. Each person knows exactly what to do and in what order. It's fast because it's so smooth, and it's repeated over and over again.  You are not going to be able to turn everything into a process. Many projects you work on are unique. However, if you look at your work as a whole, there will be multiple individual pieces of work you repeat each day. It's that work you should be looking at for the potential to create a process.  In my work, I've turned writing books, blog posts, newsletters and client feedback into processes. I've eliminated unnecessary actions and slimmed everything down so that when I sit down to work on something, I can begin instantly without the need to waste time looking for tools and ideas.  That's the approach you want to be taking, too, John. Begin with your communications—that's something we all have to do. Where can you build a process?  I hope that helps. Thank you, John, for your question and thank you to you, too, for listening. It just remains for me now to wish you all a very, very productive week.   

Welcome to the Michigan Minds Podcast, where we explore the wealth of knowledge from faculty experts at the University of Michigan. Do you feel like you matter?Mattering, the sense of being valued, having purpose. No matter who you are, mattering matters. It's essential to happiness and healthiness. It's not a given. It doesn't always come easily, especially for certain individuals who may be more prone to feeling purposeless; the elderly and veterans among them.I'm Kim Shine, a senior public relations specialist at Michigan News. Today we're talking to John Piette, a professor of health, behavior and health education at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, about his research and community work focused on showing people they matter, specifically veterans.Hi John, welcome. Thank you for being with us on Michigan Minds to talk about your work with veterans and other groups who may feel as if they don't matter. Let's talk about your research and work with veterans, and your project, V-SPEAK. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How cringing are these coalition negotiations getting?  I'm very tempted to send Christopher Luxon a text message saying ‘you reap what you sow mate'.  And I would do that, if I had his number. But then he probably wouldn't reply because he might not believe it's actually from me.  But if he did. If he did text back and say “Hi John. Great to hear from you. Not sure what you mean.”  I'd say: “Mate, that daft idea you had before the election to say you'd work with Winston Peters. You reap what you sow.”  That would probably be the end of the conversation because, even though he's not admitting it, he must know now that he's starting to look sillier and sillier by the day.  Mr Mergers and Acquisitions must be thinking to himself ‘it was never like this back in the day'. And I think it went next-level last night, when we saw him and David Seymour rushing through Wellington Airport getting the last flight back to Auckland.  And why were they doing that? Because Winston was up to his old tricks again. He was a no-show yesterday when all three of them were supposed to get-together in Wellington, for their first face-to-face meeting since the election.  So, like two teenagers fighting for the same girl, there was the National leader and the ACT Party leader scrambling for the plane to try and get an audience with the Great One who, for some reason, decided he wasn't going to bother travelling to Wellington yesterday.  Mr Mergers and Acquisitions telling reporters that everything is going swimmingly well. Great to see you. Seymour putting on a brave face too. When you just know that the two of them will have been cringing running the gauntlet like that, knowing that we know they were snubbed.  And imagine, once they got on the plane, how long that short flight to Auckland must have felt. Knowing that everyone else on board would have been looking at them thinking that Winston is giving them the complete runaround.  I reckon the person sitting next to Luxon would've spilt their tea and just about choked on their  Cookie Time biscuit when he started banging on about how well things are going.  ‘Yes, shame about APEC, but things are going really well and do you know I used to run this airline?'  Not that I'm having a go at Luxon and Seymour. No. Even though I said the other week that I thought Winston Peters' political experience might be useful for our relatively inexperienced incoming government, I think he's taking the other two for a ride.  In fact, he's not just taking them for a ride. He's taking us for a ride. And just like the girl that falls for the bad guy time and time again, I hope those who voted this guy back in are starting to wonder why.   “Will I ever learn? He does this to me every time. But then I see the hair and the suit and that smile - that smile - and I just turn to mush in the polling booth. And I know it will end in tears but I just can't help myself.”  And thanks to them, we are in the situation we are in.   There was a lot of speculation yesterday that Winston wasn't in Wellington for the meeting with ACT and National because he was in Christchurch for the races. How bad would that have been? Putting the races before coalition talks.   But that wasn't the case. Because Auckland was where Luxon and Seymour were screaming off-to last night on the last flight out of Wellington for their audience with the mighty one.  And it was cringing to watch. It was embarrassing. But it was also, all-so-predictable.  And New Zealand First voters will probably be cheering their Winnnie on. Because that's why they want him on the scene. They want him keeping those National and ACT whipper-snappers on their heels.  They want him to keep everyone guessing. But is that what the rest of us deserve? Is that what Christopher Luxon and David Seymour deserve?  Of course they don't. And we don't either. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fire up those buzzers, it's game show time! We have the self proclaimed Mr. Default being challenged by a no-name up and comer. Two will enter. One will leave crowned as Mr. Default 2023.

This week's episode of the Setting Trick: Conversations with World-Class Bridge Players turns the tables and features professional player Greg Hinze interviewing host John McAllister. In this conversation, we cover John's background, his favorite bridge books, his experiences at the national and world championships, his documentary movie about bridge, the reasons why he started the podcast, and more.   [01.29] John's background – Starting the conversation, John discusses his Virginia roots, where he lives, where he went to college, and why he wants to stay there.  [08.40] Books – John and Greg talk about some of the best books about bridge.  [20.43] The summer nationals – We talk about John's experience with mixed board-a-match teams in Providence at the summer nationals and the open BAM at the fall NABC.  [23.31] The movie – We talk about the movie called ‘Double Dummy' produced by John, about bridge.  [32.10] The podcast – John shares the reasons behind starting his podcast and continuing until now.  [33:48] Meeting Migry – John remembers meeting partner Migry Zur Campanile and playing mixed teams at the world championships. [43.50] Bridge conventions – John chooses his desert island bridge convention.   Transcript [00:00:00] Greg Hinze: Hello everybody. Welcome to the Setting Trick. Uh, I'm your guest host, uh, Greg Hinsey. Uh, our normal host with the most will not be available today as a host. So without further ado, let me introduce our special guest star today. Creator of the Setting Trick Podcast, producer of the new movie, double Dummy and newly crowned N A B C Champion, my friend, John McAllister. [00:00:36] Hi John. Hey  [00:00:36] John McAllister: Greg . Thanks for having me. , should I think I cut you off there at the end, .  [00:00:43] Greg Hinze: So how you feel being on the other side of  [00:00:45] John McAllister: you? Nervous? I am, I'm definitely nervous. I didn't know what to expect and I, I definitely like, probably 20 minutes before I got home I was. And I was definitely like, okay, this is, uh, I get nervous before I host the show. [00:00:59] But, uh, to be this is a real honor to have you do this, uh, to have you do this for me. I feel a great honor for  [00:01:06] Greg Hinze: you having me, uh, do this. Uh, so, uh, I, I'm nervous too, so , so we just dive right in? Yeah, sure. Okay. Uh, yeah, just tell me a little bit about yourself. Cause I like, where are you from? Where'd you grow up? [00:01:19] And uh, okay.  [00:01:20] John McAllister: How, how'd you, I'm gonna start, I'm gonna go back. This is where you're now just a brief, so in Phoenix, the, the way this conversation came to pass is in Phoenix, after we won the Mitchell Board of Match, my first N A B C victory, you, Greg offered to, to flip the script here on the setting trick and to interview me. [00:01:39] And so that's how this conversation came to pass. And when I texted you about, You were like, I wasn't sure if you were totally committed to it, but you sent me a list of questions and you and you, you know, you had your intro planned, so I really appreciate that. I, um, it says a lot about you and just to go from there, I grew up, and I still live in Charlottesville, Virginia. [00:02:05] I went to college at the University of Virginia, which is here. My mom is originally from Charlottesville and. It's a great place to live. I've thought about living elsewhere, but haven't really found a compelling reason to, uh, to move just yet. I get a lot of travel playing bridge, so I, I get to vi see the world through bridge tournaments, which is, I think is a, as you probably would attest, a great way to, to see the world. [00:02:33] Greg Hinze: Yeah. I haven't seen much of the world myself. Uh, mainly just America. I've seen . But, uh, so what, you mentioned you gave 'em to college there, uh, as well. What, what did you study? Study  [00:02:43] John McAllister: when you, I like to joke when people ask me what I studied in college, that I was in a fraternity, , because I really, I was a good student in. [00:02:54] Like I went to a very academically rigorous high school, a boarding school, all, all male boarding school, about an hour from here called Woodbury Forest. And the, the teachers there really challenged me to work hard to learn the material. And then by the time I got to U V A, I sort of crapped out on school. [00:03:12] I was technically a history major. I tried to get into the undergraduate commerce school and my, uh, they didn't accept me and. Yeah, so I was technically a history major, but I had worse grades in history than I did in other subjects. It was sort of a last minute thing. My, one of my best friend's dad was a history professor, and so he could be my advisor and it was sort of the easy, easy thing to do when it was time to declare a major at the end of my second year. [00:03:42] And so  [00:03:42] Greg Hinze: outta school, you went, I had read that you were on involved in the hedge fund company or something. Yeah. You did that for,  [00:03:50] John McAllister: yeah. So. There's this guy named Jeffrey Woodruff, who is a hedge fund manager here in Charlottesville. And my parents, my, were actually friends with Jeffery's parents when, when we were younger. [00:04:06] And so I got interested in trading because I played a lot of backgammon after I graduated from uva. My roommate and I in New York City would play backgammon all the time, and we played for pretty decent stake. And so through backgammon I heard a, uh, I heard a recording where somebody was talking about trading, and that really appealed to me from like the same sort of thinking logic as backgammon. [00:04:34] And so I got a. The reason I brought up Jeffrey's name is because three different people, my mother, my piano teacher, and then a woman that my piano teacher had set me up with all suggested they knew I was interested in trading, that I should reach out to this guy, Jeffrey Woodruff, and I didn't do it. I never reached out to any of those through any of those people suggesting it. [00:04:56] Only when he, his company, appeared on the U V A. Uh, job site looking for interns. Did I actually reach out? And then I had a seven and a half year career working there, which ended in, in, in 2012. And, uh, I just got, I just was tired of working for, uh, doing that at that time. Had you, uh, played bridge yet? [00:05:19] Yeah, so I played, I started playing bridge when I was 18. My parents knew how to play and my aunt suggested it and. I loved it immediately, but I didn't really have an outlet for it. Like in New York City, for example, I lived, after I graduated U V A, I lived probably two blocks from honors, and it never even occurred to me to seek out a bridge game in, in, uh, in the city. [00:05:46] You didn't know it existed, but you were right nearby it. Yeah. Yeah. There was a backgammon club that I never went to, but I was, I wanted to try to go there to play backgammon for money against other players, and I never got the courage up to do it, but it didn't even occur to me to think like I loved bridge. [00:06:03] Like it, it was something I did with my parents when I came home and it didn't, like I played spades with co, with friends in college, but I didn't actually occur to, to explain bridge. To them, how, how did you  [00:06:18] Greg Hinze: find the Bridge Club or whatever to get into the A C B L?  [00:06:21] John McAllister: So, my older sister had three friends that were looking for her fourth for bridge classes when I moved back to Charlottesville. [00:06:29] And she knew I loved it and she suggested it. And then that woman took me to the, uh, to the local Bridge Club for the first. And have you, uh,  [00:06:41] Greg Hinze: thought about making a movie at this point yet at  [00:06:43] John McAllister: all, or no? No. Podcast or No, no, no. This is probably, this is, this was in like 2000. And  [00:06:49] Greg Hinze: so you learned, you learned from your, your, your  [00:06:51] John McAllister: sister, you said? [00:06:52] So my sister would be our fourth. So my parents kind of knew how to play and my sister would be our fourth, but she wasn't, she never really got into it. She was just willing, a willing participant. And then she had friends that were looking for a fourth, for a, like a weekly bridge class. Oh,  [00:07:09] Greg Hinze: that's good. [00:07:10] And, uh, what did you start reading about Bridge? Like, uh, do you read books? Did you play online? So  [00:07:17] John McAllister: we had a Bridge for Dummies book that I bought and we would, when I played with my parents, we would sort of have that out. They had like a two page cheat sheet maybe. And I had bridge books, uh, that I would read. [00:07:32] Yeah, I don't exactly remember what, what my first bridge books were or how it all, but I mean, I like, I like consuming information about bridge. Like that is one of the things I, I love playing Bridge. Like to this day I love playing bridge. I love consuming information about Bridge and reading Bridge books is a big part. [00:07:56] What's your favorite,  [00:07:57] Greg Hinze: uh, couple  [00:07:58] John McAllister: Bridge books? Uh, well, that's a good question. I'm reading right now Bridge with Another Perfect partner, which I think was the I B P A book of the year. And so that's by John Caruthers, who I don't actually know. I don't think I know him. I, I don't know if he plays tournaments or not. [00:08:17] He's Canadian. And it's like a at the table book where, you know, they give you the deal and he's got this partner who is a real, like a real expert. And so that guy explains the, uh, how the deal should be played or how he did play it, or how he created an illusion to, you know, to beat the contract. It's not something that you can read. [00:08:46] I'll read, you know, a couple of deals at a time and then like, do something else cuz it's Bridge Books are not like Rare. Is the Bridge book, uh, um, what's the name of that book? Uh, with the unlucky expert. Oh, uh, the, the Men. Oh. Why You Lose a Bridge? Why You Lose a Bridge? That's probably the, that is a rare bridge book and that you can read it. [00:09:11] Like I can read that book all the way. Without, I've always enjoyed  [00:09:16] Greg Hinze: like, uh, the Bridge and the Menagerie series. Uh, and they had the carpa, I think he was a unlucky expert or whatever. Uh, he was labeled as such. But, uh, that was always fun to read. Uh, they, they could, you could read through those things. Uh, just kind of, I just enjoyed the characters and it was a good bridge. [00:09:33] Uh, like a lot of non bridge stuff  [00:09:35] John McAllister: at the same time. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And hilarious. So well written Victor Ma. . So, uh,  [00:09:42] Greg Hinze: you just got into the A C B O and then you started, uh, going to tournaments.  [00:09:47] John McAllister: Uh uh so, uh, traveling the world, playing bridge everywhere. No, no, no. So shook the, my first Bridge teacher was a woman named Shook, and she was pretty eccentric French woman, and she could play with me once a month at the local bridge. [00:10:04] And so then she found this guy who was younger than me who was a UVA student, and she started playing with him. And then I started playing with him. His name's Jason Holderness, and he was better than I was. And we then went, uh, Jason and I, when the D Nationals were in DC in like 2009, I think Jason and I went up there and we played in like a two session. [00:10:30] 1 99 or pair game that we won. And so we got little trophies from that, which unfortunately I threw away, I think. I think I threw away the photo that they took too. . But I forget what your original question. Just like,  [00:10:43] Greg Hinze: you know, when you started playing tournaments and, you know, traveling a bit more, uh, as, as opposed  [00:10:48] John McAllister: to just going to the local. [00:10:49] So like, uh, my first national was in 2012, so I quit my job at Quantitative Investment Management and I gave, like, they said, will you give us two weeks? And so the last day of my two weeks was, Like that day, literally that day I left for Memphis to play in my first national, that was in spring of 2012. [00:11:12] And there was a sectional the weekend before and I hired this kid named Rob Brady, who was a UVA student who was a, a pro to be my partner. And I forget who our teammates were, but we won the Swiss and that was my first time winning a sectional Swiss. And winning the Swiss made me a life master. Oh wow. [00:11:36] That's  [00:11:36] Greg Hinze: a, that was a good timing for everything. pretty, pretty fun. Pretty fun. So, uh, so, so then after that you were just like hooked on nationals? Uh, I mean cuz nationals are pretty fun experience. Uh, I mean, if you haven't been to one, I think they're really fun things to go to.  [00:11:54] John McAllister: So, Yes. I mean, essentially yes, I, before I played my first national, I was in at a conference for work in February of 2012, and it was in Palm Beach and Gavin Wilpert lives near there. [00:12:10] And so I knew about Gavin from Bridge Winners and I messaged him on B B O and asked him if I could play with him. And so I played two days with him in the sectional. And he said, which I think is a great piece of advice that I like to give out to people is play against the best competition that you can play against, and that's playing at the Nationals. [00:12:31] So, uh, I've been fortunate to, I've gone to every national but won since then. And I've also played in, uh, one, two, played in four World championships now. Very good. Uh, where was your favorite place to play Bridge? I think Tromso Norway, I played in the European championships there, and it's inside of the Arctic Circle. [00:12:58] So it's, it was in the summer and literally the sun didn't go down. Um, that was a pretty unique, a unique experience. So how is  [00:13:10] Greg Hinze: bridge over there like, uh, run differently than it is here? Like, uh, is cuz it feels like it, you know, we may be a little bit outdated in, uh, some of the technology available. is when you played like in the world championships, uh, over  [00:13:25] John McAllister: how did, well I think the first time I played behind screens was at a bridge tournament in a Bulgaria. [00:13:31] And the top seven tables were behind screens, and they had like plastic boards. And I remember the, the further that we got in down in the table ranking, we had never seen this before. We had like these leather, little leather sleeves that had the cards in them, but the European championships. And the world Championships, as I imagine, you know, are like, they're all screens, all the tables are screens. [00:14:01] You're playing the same deals at the same time. Everybody's playing the same deals. It's, uh, it's cool because there's a lot of people there that I, that are new to me. So, you know, the national, the US nationals tends to be, tends to be a lot of the same people. But in Europe it was like a whole new, whole new crew of people. [00:14:24] More, uh, uh,  [00:14:25] Greg Hinze: foreigners come to America than Americans go to the foreign countries. It seems, um, there's not very many Americans that really do much traveling to play bridge over there as, as far as, as over here seems. Do you find it that way or do you know a lot of Americans that are going all over  [00:14:42] John McAllister: these? [00:14:42] Uh, you know, the, the, the Americans that are hiring real, like good teams for the nationals tend to probably play over there. , I would think like there's a tournament. The European Open is this summer in Strasberg, uh, which I think is in France, and the head of the E B L was telling me that he wants to get 200 teams in the open, which would be amazing. [00:15:09] I would really like to go for it, but I don't have firm plans yet for planning that. Also, it feels like in Europe that the. The main events are really the main events like the, the A C B L does a good job of making the events that are going on concurrent to the soloway, like the Board of Match that we won. [00:15:29] They make a good, they do a good job of making those like standalone. Whereas I feel like when you get knocked out in Europe of an event, it's, it's not really a title and an event like that doesn't really carry the same magnitude of that. It might in the A C B L. I see. So,  [00:15:48] Greg Hinze: What kind of, uh, systems do you like to play? [00:15:50] John McAllister: Um, . I like to play pretty basic, uh, two over one natural bidding. Not a lot of complexity. I don't have a, like, I don't have a strong long-term partnership with one individual, so I've noticed over the years  [00:16:09] Greg Hinze: you do play with a lot of, a lot of different, uh, players, and I think that's a good thing. What do you feel. [00:16:16] You learn like a little bit of something from, you know, everybody  [00:16:19] John McAllister: you play with. I mean, one thing I'll say about Bridge, I think I really like to play with people that I enjoy their company and I feel like that we're a good, I feel like, like it's important for me to be able to discuss like the, the, my partner has the right mentality and that we can discuss the boards that we didn't do well and not get, not get angry with each other. [00:16:45] Greg Hinze: So, uh, yeah. Okay. We've been mentioning, uh, the Mitchell Border match, which you just recently won. Yeah. There you were playing with a, a relatively new partnership. Yeah. I  [00:16:53] John McAllister: was playing with, uh, spinny Erickson, who I met. I played the Icelandic, uh, the VEC Bridge Festival a couple years ago, and I met s Spinny there and he was playing with this guy named Neils, who's Danish. [00:17:10] And the two of them were just pure comedy. Like Neils had tried to rent a car for the tournament and it had all gone haywire. And he had gone through all these, all this effort to get this car that eventually really just sat in a parking garage in vec. Like he didn't even use it after spending all this energy and time trying to get this car. [00:17:33] And so that story, being told that story over the course of like the days of the event, really, I mean, we laughed so hard about. So much. And so I really enjoyed him. And then in Austin, uh, the first N A B C Post Covid, he was there and I needed a partner for the Swiss. And so we got to talking and we did pretty well in that. [00:17:59] And then we played the Swiss again in Providence and we did well on that. And so, We played the same teammates this, uh, whole time. Uh, the teammates for the Swiss and Providence and, and for Phoenix were the same. Uh, Jovi, uh, Jovi Smatter of, uh, and Sasha Warn, they're Austrian a mixed pair, Jovi's a woman. [00:18:26] Greg Hinze: And uh, so was that, uh, everybody, everybody's first, uh, been there on your team? Yes. That's pretty exciting for you all to experience it at the same time. So like how, how long were you just on the moon?  [00:18:39] John McAllister: Uh, you know, probably like a good, good 10 days through the rest of the nationals for sure. Yeah, definitely. [00:18:45] definitely it, it's, I, I mean I playing with Jovi and Sasha in a mixed board of Match in Providence, the summer national, we came in second and we were leading after every segment of the, of the event. But the last one, And that was the first time I'd ever come in second and the first time I'd ever really even been close to winning in one of these events. [00:19:08] And so we had a really good session in the, on the second day of the board of Match, the Mitchell's a two day event. And I had been in the position before and I really wanted to win this time. And then during the session, spinny and I, we just didn't seem like it was going well. We got to probably. Third from Final Round and we played against Curtis Cheek and we got to Issa and Curtis's table and they're like, how's it going? [00:19:41] And Spinny is like, no, we don't have a chance. . So, but yeah, I mean we just didn't, but you know, Jovi and Sasha play this canape system, strong club, so. I don't know how we won, but we won comfortably. It, it was, it was like, uh, yeah, when, when the woman from the A C V L told, told me that we had won, she goes, John, you won. [00:20:09] And I went like, like I had to cut myself off from really squealing like I wanted to. I think a lot of people. I think a lot of people did hear you. And that was, that was like probably one half or one third of what I like if I really had Yeah. Yeah.  [00:20:32] Greg Hinze: I just remember seeing you that, uh, day right afterwards and uh, whenever to say, look, and you were just like beeping, like, I mean  [00:20:38] John McAllister: it was like, you still  [00:20:41] Greg Hinze: happy? [00:20:43] So you went from first National 2012 to winning national like 10 years later. Um, but it's somewhere in between there. You decided that you were going to produce a movie about Bridge called Double Dummy. So  [00:21:00] John McAllister: why, what happened there? So my first national event was the IMP pairs in Memphis, and I played with a local guy from Charlottesville named Greg Humphreys, who I'm sure you know. [00:21:13] And Greg, he has a Emmy, right? He has a, he has a Academy Award. He has like an Academy award, I think for create, for writing a book about motion graphics or something like that. So Memphis was my first national, I didn't know anybody, and he invited me to this brainstorming session on how do we get new players? [00:21:42] Uh, young people playing bridge and I, I really didn't even know what the event was, but he said, there's a free dinner, there's gonna be people there. And so I thought, I thought, okay, great. I, I need to meet some people. I want to make some friends and free dinner sounds okay. I mean, maybe it won't be the best food, but whatever. [00:22:00] And so that was, I had just quit my job. I did marketing for the hedge fund, so I knew, like I knew how to sell things or what. . And so that was kind of the, that was the free dinner.  [00:22:14] Greg Hinze: I see. So, but the no experience or anything, you just up and like this is gonna be brand new, like the whole movie industry, uh, outta nowhere. [00:22:23] Like, I mean, you didn't go to school for this and you just, so, I mean it just a lot involved, I, I'm sure in, in ma like finding the right people and making a  [00:22:33] John McAllister: movie. So it wasn't, it wasn't at that brainstorming session that I had the idea for the movie. But it was at that brainstorming session. I didn't have another job lined up. [00:22:43] I just knew that I wanted to stop, I needed to stop doing what I was doing. And so I thought I could be involved in helping introduce Bridge to more young people. And then I came home and two of my friends were making a movie about a, a scripted film. And we, they took me out to dinner and they, one of 'em said, I think we're, you're the only person we know that plays bridge. [00:23:08] And so I told him about some of the statistics from this brainstorming session, and he said, that sounds like a documentary movie. And then that was, that was where that, that came from. And so you  [00:23:20] Greg Hinze: just began filming, was it? Uh, just pretty much all, all at one. Uh, Youth World Championships, right? Uh, most of it. [00:23:29] Or is there There was a lot of,  [00:23:31] John McAllister: uh, outside, so I had, I had met Adam Kaplan through Greg at the, uh, at the N A B C, the spring 1, 20 12. And he really, I was really impressed with, in spite of him being 20 years younger than Greg, Greg's my age, and Adam was 16 at the time, and. That the way he was making fun of Greg, talking about how Greg thought about these bridge deals that we were playing, that we were, you know, talking about after the round. [00:23:59] And I knew about Adam from Bridge winners and so he was already like kind of a star to me when I first met him. I'm like, oh, that's Adam Kaplan. And so he became the focal point of the film and he was, he was kind of the leader of a group that included the gross X. And the Jeng brothers and his partner Zach Brisco of like an under 21 team playing the junior world championships that took place in, in August of, uh, of 2012. [00:24:30] So yeah, that's the focal point of the film. Where are these, uh, world World Championships? It was in, uh, in Ta song China, which is about two hours from Shanghai. And this is a, like a,  [00:24:43] Greg Hinze: a really long tournament, right? With a big round robin phase and everything similar to like  [00:24:47] John McAllister: the B removal. Yeah, there was, uh, I think there was 17 teams in their, in their division, and you play all 16 other teams and then you have, uh, full day knockout matches. [00:24:59] And the finals actually a day and a half. So it was 12 days, 12 days of filming that we were 12 days of play. So you  [00:25:07] Greg Hinze: took a lot of this footage and you, you made it, made a movie of it. And, uh, you're trying to, uh, attract some young people. That's, uh, that's really nice. So, uh, the Gross Act also in this, uh, movie, they've done really phenomenal since then as well. [00:25:22] So they've, uh, really had quite a lot of success together and, and even, uh, part and, uh, particularly Zach Groza, uh, just recently cover the Bulletin for winning a Player of the Year. Um, so what. Think about how that is gonna impact the movie. You know, like cuz Zach is in this movie and then now here he is proving himself again later. [00:25:45] You know? I mean, what do you think?  [00:25:47] John McAllister: What are your thoughts on that? So the movie's now freely available on pbs.org. If you search for Double Dummy, it'll come up. You can watch it anywhere in the world. It's not geo blocked, obviously, as a filmmaker to have for the, the kids team in the tournament itself. [00:26:06] The way that went down was really great for us. I don't wanna spoil it for anybody. We can't. We can't, don't worry. I'm not, I'm not gonna spoil it. But it was really a great event from the kid standpoint. And then when I originally Adam Kaplan was like, Zach has really turned into what I hoped Adam Kaplan would, would become. [00:26:26] I didn't even know Zach before we got to China and. I was hoping that Adam Kaplan would be the next Jeff Max Troth. Really? And Zach has really, I mean, you know, as you said, like he's player of the year. Like, you know, that's, I mean,  [00:26:45] Greg Hinze: it's such a young age. I mean, uh, just really such a great  [00:26:48] John McAllister: accomplishment. [00:26:48] Yeah. But it's hard. Like it, one of the things about this film is we send an email out to everybody that is on like a board, like a unit board. Or a district board or that owns a club, or is it a member of the A P T A and I probably got like 20 emails back from, you know, maybe, I don't know how, I don't even know how many emails that was that we sent out. [00:27:13] So if like getting people to actually pay attention to the film is challenging and I'm really grateful that it's on P B s. So it's airing on specific P B S stations. And you can find that on our website, doubled dummy movie.com, but it's also freely available. I'm just glad that it's like that we have this p b s distribution arm cuz, you know, having spent 11 years working on this project, I just want people to see it. [00:27:42] I want, and it, it, it's beyond me at this point. And hopefully it'll be me. It'll, there'll be a meaningful impact. You know, like, uh, there was a post on bridge winners today by somebody talking about the Nebraska airtime. It's, it's, but it's been frustrating, like doing this and not always feeling like people are taking, you know, taking the reigns like, of the film. [00:28:08] So, uh,  [00:28:10] Greg Hinze: I remember many years I would always come up to you go like, how's the movie going? How's the movie going, , how's the movie going like year after year? And then, uh, to finally he, and then to finally get to, I saw, uh, you put, you did, uh, some kind of thing at a Nationals, I think where we aired it in. [00:28:26] There was a group of people, I mean, I don't know, maybe 50 to a hundred people, something  [00:28:30] John McAllister: in Toronto that was a longer version of the, this is actually a shorter version than if you ask my mother, she would say it's much better, which I agree with a  [00:28:38] Greg Hinze: shorter version's better. Okay. I hadn't seen the new, I, I just saw the one, uh, at the, at the time, uh, where you put it. [00:28:44] Uh, yeah. Okay. Toronto Nationals, I don't remember. So 11 years in the process. And, uh, podcast. Podcast now. So sometime, and now you're like, a movie wasn't, I'm going to also make a podcast. And is it, is it, is it the same type of a deal trying to draw a bridge into, to the world? Expand a bridge, or what, what's the reason for the, so the  [00:29:06] John McAllister: original reason, rationale for the podcast was to spread the word about the movie, and then it just became fun. [00:29:13] Like I, I enjoy the opportunity to have conversations like this. It's fun, it's challenging. It's a great way to share my passion for bridge. One consistent piece of feedback I've gotten though is from non-player that listen to the podcast is they don't really know what we're talking about. Like it's too high level bridge. [00:29:33] There's too many specific  [00:29:34] Greg Hinze: names of people and Yes. Like things that, uh, we take for granted. Like we talk about a Vanderbilt Yes. Or whatever, and they're like, what's the Vanderbilt? Yes. You know, something like that.  [00:29:43] John McAllister: Yeah. I underst. And I've tried at points to, to be more inclusive and it's challenging. Like it's, it's definitely challenging and I don't necessarily wanna water it down. [00:29:57] Like, uh, I enjoy the high level of it and we definitely have our fans, you know, like, I'm gonna give a shout out to, uh, one of your partners, Josh Dunn's dad, cliff. Is a regular listener. Hope you don't fall off your mountain bike when you hear this reference. Uh, we actually started doing a segment cuz Josh told me that Cliff listens to all the shows and then he, if Josh has ever mentioned, he'll send him a, a like thing from the transcript. [00:30:26] And so we started doing a Cliff Don, where somebody had the Cliff don segment where somebody would tell a story about Josh. So my story about Josh, not that you asked. Was at my first nationals playing in the Vanderbilt for the first time, cuz Gavin suggested it. We, it was a three-way and we lost in the, uh, afternoon. [00:30:49] So we were playing Josh Dunn's team in the evening and it was, I think Kit Wooey was on the team. Perhaps. I don't remember who Josh was playing with. I think Josh was playing with Roger Lee. And I remember thinking after the second segment that we won and they beat us by like 40 in that segment. [00:31:25] Greg Hinze: So anyway, uh, yeah. So you had a lot of, you ended up having a lot of, uh, you know, great people on, uh, on your, your podcast, uh, you know, great players, uh, like, you know, or even early on you had like Chef Maroth and some. Who are your, some of your favorite, uh, episodes? Do you have standout episodes where it's just like, you know, wow, this is like, you know, bridge on a, on another level. [00:31:48] Like, I just getting to know somebody this like, is  [00:31:50] John McAllister: just like, I think the three people that come to mind are Gavin because it was the first one and I've been wanting to do the podcast for a long time, probably three years. And so when I actually recorded the conversation, I thought, wow, this is, you know, it was just cool to actually finally do it. [00:32:07] And he tells a great story about ducking with King in one offside, and I mean, that was just why I wanted to do it. And then Hammond, you know, probably the most recognizable bridge name and then troth because he just was great. Like he told great stories and. You know, Jeff has really, uh, helped me become a, like, get more out of my bridge ability by challenging me to, to be a better player. [00:32:41] And, uh, so Jeff is always a very, uh,  [00:32:47] Greg Hinze: like fierce competitor. I mean, he is like, yes, I mean, but he's always so friendly and helpful away from the game as well, you know, but. He is, uh, always at the table. It's like nothing. He doesn't miss anything. He is never phased. It's just like, how, how does this guy ever, never do anything wrong? [00:33:03] John McAllister: he was my partner for a regional last year in Hilton Head and at Fir it went from like being elated that I'm playing with Jeff Maxy. And so frustrated with him cuz he was frustrated with me and it took me a while. I was driving back to Virginia after the second day we played together, and I was listening to these podcasts and I thought, man, this, you know, eventually it got through to me that the reason that he was upset with me is I wasn't getting the best outta myself. [00:33:32] And that led me to have my best year of bridge ever last year, which, uh, yeah, was a really, really good  [00:33:38] Greg Hinze: year. Capping it off. still, you still see you glowing, . Yeah. Uh, okay. Well, uh, some of your other favorite bridge  [00:33:48] John McAllister: memories. Well, I'll tell a story. So, I played my first World championships in Sonya in 2014, and the way that I ended up doing that was Christina Lund Madson had emailed me and she said that her and Dennis Bilda, who's one of the, you know, great players, great young players, uh, in the world, they were looking for a partners for the mixed teams. [00:34:14] and that sounded like fun. I really liked Christina. I didn't know much about her, her playing, uh, but I knew Dennis was a really like a rising star, and so I needed to have a female partner. I said, I don't have a female partner, and she suggested mre, uh, MRE Campanile who's, who's also been a guest on the show. [00:34:37] And I remember when, when mcg. So I went up and met her in New York City. We had lunch on her birthday and we hit it off and we're like, let's do this. And, and then I remember when we talked on the phone or we tried to talk on the phone for the first time. Riss originally from, uh, well she immigrated Israel, but she's originally from Romania. [00:34:56] And I remember I couldn't understand her and I was like, I don't think this is gonna work. . So, uh, are you speaking English? Miri introduced me to a lot of her friends. . I think just, that's one of the things about Bridge is like, it's, it's kind of a strange dynamic because we're playing against the other people. [00:35:19] So there are more often than not, you know, people are your opponent, but at the same time there's a lot of, there's a lot of kinship and, you know, spirit and, uh, You know, like for example, you congratulating me in, in Phoenix for winning the national, for winning the event. Like so many people were so excited for, for me. [00:35:41] And, uh,  [00:35:43] Greg Hinze: yeah, it, it, it's nice. I mean, uh, yeah, it's a lot of camaraderie, you know, it's, it's bitter competition at the table, but then away from it at the parties at night or whatever afterwards, you know, the drinking at the bars and going over the hands and so, Speaking of hands that you're like most  [00:36:03] John McAllister: nightmare hand ever. [00:36:04] Uh, well, there was a hand at the, I played in the mixed world championships this year with, uh, Olivia Sheen as my partner and we were playing in the Paris. We didn't make it to the, uh, heads up matches for teams when we're playing in the pairs. And I had like, uh, a six of diamonds. Queen 10, double 10 of clubs, Jack, fourth of hearts. [00:36:33] So I had ace, queen jack, six of diamonds, queen 10, double 10 jack, fourth of hearts. So they opened a, I was fourth and they opened a Polish club on my right and every, nobody's vulnerable. So I bid three diamonds and it goes, What happened? I forget what happened, but they got to seven eventually, lefty did six hearts. [00:37:00] So Polish Club, you don't get, it's like a strong club in that you don't reveal your suit at first, or the fact that you, so I, I didn't have Jack fourth of hearts. I had, I had like 10, I think I had ten fourth of Harvey anyway now. So now the guy bids five hearts, then lefty bids six hearts, and then they bid seven. [00:37:22] and I'm kind of rooting for them to bid Seven Hearts . So I lead the ace of diamonds cuz I'm thinking, you know, there's no way that they're bidding this grand slam with the king of diamonds. You know, they're not valuing that. But lo and behold, lefty had King Fourth of Diamonds, . So now declare has a chance to make it. [00:37:44] And I'm like, shit. I was rooting for that and now I'm get about to get burned. So Dummy had Ace start of clubs and declare had King Jack nine fourth, and if they, so I'm like, am I gonna play the Queen of Clubs on the first round of clubs? So he drew Trumps and now he plays. I think I had three Trumps. I don't know I'm telling the story terribly, but he, on the first round of clubs, he plays club to the Ace and I played the Queen [00:38:18] And now  [00:38:20] Greg Hinze: did he have like nine of 'em and  [00:38:21] John McAllister: now he played No, no. It actually worked. He played, he played back and he thought, and he thought, now I played the nine and I won the 10. I was like, yeah. So it went from being a nightmare to. It was all, both your nightmare and your  [00:38:36] Greg Hinze: first favorite hand All. Yeah. [00:38:39] John McAllister: Yeah. Nightmare hands. I mean so many nightmare hands. I remember a hand mire in the world championships. We were on the verge of qualifying for the finals of the world pairs in 2014. My first world championship, the World Bridge Series, and there was a hand where I had like, uh, king in one sp. and we had a two over one auction and then she bid two. [00:39:03] No. And now I just bid three. No, cuz you know, that was just the right thing to do. And they lead a spade through my king and it goes queen. And then the, and then my lefty plays the ACEs spades and mires. Jack Doubleton comes. Now they got the whole space suit and I'm like, God damn it nigger, why are you hogging the hand? [00:39:30] Oh, .  [00:39:31] Greg Hinze: That's funny. Funny. So, uh, most important bridge convention if  [00:39:37] John McAllister: you can only have one. Oh, wow. Probably negative double. I think. Uh, I played in London, used to talk about the bridge in the Menagerie series. I played rubber bridge for the first time over there and I felt like I was a character. I felt like I was in that. [00:39:52] when I was play. Which one were you? Well, I wasn't nec, I just felt like I, I didn't have a character myself, but I just felt like I was like playing with the characters in that book. And we, they don't let you play negative doubles there. They don't let you play. Don't  [00:40:07] Greg Hinze: they all play like usually the same? [00:40:08] Everybody plays the same thing  [00:40:09] John McAllister: like that. They don't play, they don't. You play Roman keycard. You can only, you can't find out about the King of Trump or the queen of Queen of Trump. Bobby, uh, Wolf was  [00:40:20] Greg Hinze: a big, uh, advocator of, uh, not playing key card. He wouldn't mind being on, uh, in a slam on the finesse of the King of Trump. [00:40:28] So he would always know, although you may know you're off a key card, he would know that it was the king cuz he would know about the number of ACEs cuz he didn't count the king as a key card, counted that later in the Kings or whatever. So, so he would know that he would be on a finesse and he wouldn't mind. [00:40:46] Is it better than like, being there and like, oh, am I off the Ace ? It's not even on the Finesse, it's off the Ace. You lose the Ace .  [00:40:54] John McAllister: Is he someone that's been a mentor to you? Like I know he is from Texas. I think we got to play with Bobby one  [00:40:59] Greg Hinze: time and uh, I just remember that was like we, we, we wrote down like four things on the commissioner. [00:41:04] We had those, uh, the white com, the old fashioned white convention card. I think we wrote down like four things, like 15, 17 real big with transfer or something, and. We wrote down, you know, ACE asking, it was like not, it was not . We, and we wrote down carding or something. And, uh, so we, we played, uh, we played that one time. [00:41:24] And, uh, I played as a teammate of his, uh, a few times. He had some, uh, of his regular older partners, uh, that he played with some, some long ago. And, and I played against him many times from, uh, the area that I was playing in. Uh, I think he eventually moved to Vegas and, uh, I don't  [00:41:43] John McAllister: dunno what's happening. I don't even know. [00:41:44] I, I'm sure I've played against him, but not, uh, I only have a couple more questions by the way. I just, who, I wanna say that Greg sent me a full list of questions, including like, the best hand. I, I don't know if the best hand was in there, but I wanted to be spontaneous. It would've been something like the best hand would've been good to think, or worst hand would've been good to think. [00:42:05] Before, uh, but you did send me like a full list. Yeah, that one.  [00:42:08] Greg Hinze: I, I, I'm not even sure I included that. I did throw, I, I did have some questions that it weren't on your list that I asked you. So anyway, like this one who's faster, you or Justin Law,  [00:42:21] John McAllister: were you at that tournament? No, but I heard about it. So you're referring to at the Williamsburg Regional some years ago. [00:42:31] We had a, a race in the hotel conference area and it was probably a 50 yard dash and Justin smoked me . Sad but true.  [00:42:46] Greg Hinze: And question from my wife. You like pineapple on your  [00:42:51] John McAllister: pizza? I used to like a Hawaiian pizza. I used to, that used to be on my order, but, uh, it's been a while. Why? Why is your wife asking? I don't know. [00:43:02] She  [00:43:02] Greg Hinze: knew I was gonna be doing this interview and, uh, she just thought, uh, that was a, some silly question. Thought I would ask.  [00:43:11] John McAllister: You can cut back out , cut out the pineapple pizza, . You got it.  [00:43:18] Greg Hinze: Anyway, I don't, I don't have anything else. Okay. John, I going through my list of questions.  [00:43:25] John McAllister: How, what do you, what is your setup there? [00:43:27] Do you have like a sheet of paper with all the questions on 'em? Do you have 'em like, uh, yeah, I,  [00:43:32] Greg Hinze: I, I'm looking at my little questions here. Yeah. And then some of 'em, you know, I had to skip over cuz you kind of covered them already. You know, they were gonna be questions, but That's okay. I mean, that's great. [00:43:42] You know, it's great. I don't have to ask questions. You just knew what I was gonna ask you. Well. As if you knew, like, so somebody may have fed you the questions.  [00:43:50] John McAllister: No, he did, but I mean, I really appreciate it. When I saw that list of questions, I wasn't sure if you were like, how committed you were to it and if, what if it was more like me saying, oh, you know, you offered to do this, but maybe, anyway, when I got that list of questions from you, I was really, it really touched me like that you were. [00:44:08] You were thinking about it so much. Well, I'm glad.  [00:44:10] Greg Hinze: I mean, this went, I, I was a little nervous about how this may go cuz it's, you know, not so easy to just, to be, you know, talking and you're, you're used to it. I'm, I'm not, I'm not so used to it. .  [00:44:21] John McAllister: It's funny how I'm used to it. It's funny how it's something that is so natural just to do. [00:44:28] Like me and you, for me and you to talk, but then when it becomes a Yeah, that's what made it  [00:44:33] Greg Hinze: easy for me. Cuz I mean, you know, we're looking at each other on the camera or whatever, so we can see each other and it's just like, to me, it's not like really doing an interview at all. I mean, you know, it's more like just talking to a friend, you know, just like, tell me more about you tell me something. [00:44:47] John McAllister: Didn't know. Mm-hmm. , what was the most surprising? Like, what was the depth? What was the depth? Can you. Is there a way for you to explain the depths of the research that you did or ? Like what the depths, what do you think was like the most down a rabbit hole you went? I didn't  [00:45:06] Greg Hinze: go that far, really. I was like, uh, you know, I, I, I, I just, yeah. [00:45:11] I found your police profiles and your mugshot. That, that was, that was the most surprising to me was when I found your mug.  [00:45:21] John McAllister: I have never been arrested, by the way, for all my loyal listeners out there. I, I have not. Well, they should take that off  [00:45:28] Greg Hinze: the internet  [00:45:28] John McAllister: then, . Um, well, thank you. No, I,  [00:45:32] Greg Hinze: I, I, I, seriously, I, I didn't, I didn't do that much research. [00:45:35] Um, and you know, I mean, just, I, I, I know a lot about you already, , you're a great guy and, and a lot of people, a lot of people know a lot about you.  [00:45:46] John McAllister: Well, it's, it is, it is. I'm flattered and I really appreciate it and, uh, thank you so much. Oh, you're  [00:45:52] Greg Hinze: quite welcome. And, uh, yeah, thanks. Thanks for having me once more. [00:45:57] I really enjoyed it. We'll see you again on the circuit.  [00:46:00] John McAllister: Are you playing any tournaments next nationals? I, so here's your, here's your team. The next national. I've got some possibilities out there, but nothing is confirmed. Yeah. Okay, well, the intrigue, we'll see you there in New Orleans. We're going though, for sure, right? [00:46:15] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. No, I'm definitely playing. You playing with Vinnie or, I don't think so. You don't know? They, nothing's  [00:46:21] Greg Hinze: confirmed. Okay.  [00:46:24] John McAllister: All right, man. I'll see you in New Orleans. I'm, I'm actually playing in the North American Paris. Are you gonna be there for that? No. No. Have you won that  [00:46:33] Greg Hinze: Platinum Pierce? [00:46:34] No. I've, I've, I. I think I only entered one time to the national level. We made it and we got knocked out first day or something. What  [00:46:45] John McAllister: was your first national win? Yeah. I've never done well in that event.  [00:46:48] Greg Hinze: My first national win was in New Orleans where we're going now, and in 2004 we won the North American Swiss, but that was in the fall of 2004. [00:47:00] This is spring of  [00:47:01] John McAllister: 2020, whatever. Had you been close before that?  [00:47:06] Greg Hinze: I was fourth in the LMS once, uh, before that, the three day LM pair, like basically lost in the last round. Mm-hmm. , , it was pretty  [00:47:17] John McAllister: close. Who is your partner?  [00:47:20] Greg Hinze: Uh, guy with, uh, I don't play with him, haven't play with him long time, but Nagi came out from, uh, he's from Texas also. [00:47:28] He's one of my original players that I used to play with learning back in the day. Played a lot of bridge with. But not, not so much. In the last 15  [00:47:36] John McAllister: years, if you could, if you could teach bridge to one person on the planet, who would it be to teach to one person on the planet? You got to choose your bridge student. [00:47:47] Who would it be?  [00:47:49] Greg Hinze: Yeah, it would be like he's my, yeah, so like somebody famous, like, uh, I don't know, maybe, uh, yeah, I don't know. That's too tough of a question. Something like famous actor  [00:47:58] John McAllister: or something. That would be pretty cool. All right, well you gotta gimme an answer in New Orleans. Okay, I'll give you an answer. [00:48:03] New Orleans,  [00:48:03] Greg Hinze: um, he put me on the spot  [00:48:05] John McAllister: now. All right, man. Thanks.   Resources Connect with John LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/johnmca/  Website - thesettingtrick.com/    Book by John Carruthers Bridge with Another Perfect Partner –  goodreads.com/book/show/60495965-bridge-with-another-perfect-partner    Book by S.J. Simon Why You Lose at Bridge –  goodreads.com/en/book/show/1141603    Movie - Double Dummy imdb.com/title/tt3531224/  doubledummymovie.com/ 

We're back from Halloween in our physical bodies but not in our eternal spirits! If you're still feeling the haunted hangover of the most glorious of holidays, get a nice little chaser of chills and hear about our October delights as we went through them. Spoilers, there was a lot of Beyond Fest. Or if you're already yearning for the Yule, skip right ahead to our discussion on the classic indie, PHANTASM!     00:00 - 7:00ish Intros - We did Beyond Fest! Curtis and Cody saw each other A LOT.   7:00ish - 40:40ish What we saw at Beyond Fest! RRR, Trick ‘r Treat, Family Dinner, Blood Relatives, Hellraiser (‘22), Christmas Bloody Christmas, Werewolf By Night, Sick, The Beyond - Composer's Cut, Kids Vs. Aliens, A Wounded Fawn, and Something in the Dirt. Hi John and Max! Do you guys listen? Cool!   40:40ish - 1:30:20ish What else we watched this time! Austin - Monster's Ball (*shrugs*), Rosemary's Baby, Ghoulies, and Barbarian. Lucas - Monster: Dahmer, 31, and The Devil's Rejects. Curtis - Bros, The Munsters, The Devils (Uncut - with Cody and it was glorious), and Blow Out. Cody - Orphan, Orphan: First Kill, Dracula's Daughter, The Pit and the Pendulum (‘91), Hocus Pocus 2, The Raven (‘35), The Mummy (‘32), The Invisible Man (‘33), and Terrifer 2 (we'll all get to it at a certain point).   1:30:20ish - 2:19:25ish PHANTASM - SHUDdown and discussion.   2:19:25ish - End - Our next movie!

wow this one was a mess to get done lmao Patreon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/slurpgang/message

Asking people “what's on your mind?,” helps others go beyond sharing news of the superficial events in their life. It deepens relationships. Listen in to learn how. My wife Janet and I have been meeting on and off with a church group of small group leaders. We began meeting just as the Covid pandemic was getting underway in 2020, so our meetings have been more off than on. In a more recent meeting, the group wanted to talk about how can we get people to open up and talk about deeper things going on in their lives? I suggested one question they could ask that I found works in getting people to talk more openly about what's going on within them. It's a question that works equally well in small groups or in a one-on-one conversation. It's a good listening tool, and is the subject of today's episode A good listening tool The question I suggested is this: What's on your mind lately? I don't want to say a lot about this question right now, because I plan to talk in another episode about the back story to this simple question and why it is so effective in getting people to open up. Instead, for our time together today, I want to show how the what's been on your mind? question works. Asking this question usually draws people out to share the deeper things going on in their lives, rather than simply talking about the past week's news as so often happens. While the question is effective in groups and in individual conversations, it also works when we answer the question alone by ourself. It serves to give clarity to what we're experiencing, and a measure of peace as we organize our thoughts and feelings. It's like reorganizing what's in our kitchen cabinets for easier access. To demonstrate, I'm going to answer myself the question, what's on your mind? I encourage you to do the same thing but to write your answers down. That's what I've done. Bullet points or short phrases will do just fine. A Facebook Memory To get started, here's one thing that's on my mind. A Facebook memory I wrote 9 years ago popped up on my computer screen early this morning. Here's what I said back then: “Watching 3 of the grands for a few days. Getting off the bus this afternoon they ran into the house, talking all at once about the fun things they did at school today. Their joy was like the brief moments of sunshine we've had in our otherwise cold, drab, and rainy week. We don't need to turn on the lights. They are enough.” Then this morning I added a Facebook comment to my memory from 2013: The weather's the same today and so are they. Only difference is they're old enough to drive the bus. What's on my mind is how remarkable it is that they still light up my life after the various stages of development each of them has gone through these past nine years. Janet and I have enjoyed every stage of their still-young lives. We still don't need to turn on the lights when they come over. Their light is still enough. We are so blessed that they still want to spend time with us. Answer no. 2 to What's on your mind? Another thing on my mind is these two people, Graham Zale and Ford Schilz. Who are they, you wonder? US Ambassador to Argentina? Pitcher for the New York Yankees? President of IBM? Not yet. Not yet. Graham Zale and Ford Schilz are both babies born to two of my nieces on the same day this year, April 2, 2022. I'm proud of my nieces and their husbands for giving their children, bold strong names that will serve them well into their 80s after they've made their mark in the world. And I'm so happy these boys held off their birth to April 2nd. Imagine the challenge they would have faced had they been born one day earlier. Yikes! They certainly dodged a bullet. So here's to you, Graham Damion Zale and Ford Wyatt Schilz. May you live strong, productive lives in keeping with your names. May your lives finish as well as they've started. Third item on my What's on your mind? list The next thing that's been on my mind is an email I received the other day from Billy, one of my missionary friends. He writes: Good Morning, John and Janet! I wanted to share this picture with you – it's a picture of Will [their 7-year-old son] intently listening to episode #153 of You Were Made for This. He and I both learned to have the ‘ORA' of God's character recognizing and fulfilling others' needs. A message we needed to hear this morning. God Bless you both, we miss you. The “ORA” Billy referred to is Observe-Reflect-Act, that model of relating we've been talking about in this podcast. The photo Billy sent is the one at the top of the show notes for this episode. I talked to Billy about this later and he said his son was glued to the screen of their iPad for the full 10-11 minute length of the episode, listening to my voice speak about what some people in Poland and Romania are doing to care for refugees from Ukraine. Photos tell a story The two photos I showed in the show notes for that episode apparently got his attention: the baby strollers at the train station in Poland and the colorful stuffed toy animals on that grey bridge at the Ukraine/Romania border. What a tender heart that little boy has, I thought, when I first saw the photo of him. Billy's email and photo of Will are still on my mind, making me think how sometimes we sell our children short. That they are capable of more than we give them credit for. Most 7-year-olds are not as sensitive as Will. But they are capable of being so. They can learn to reflect the character of God in their own unique way, just as their parents can. Parents can teach them by being examples themselves. An encouraging email from a missionary parent I can also answer the what's on your mind question by talking about an email I got from another listener to our podcast that is similar to the one I received from my friend Billy. It comes from a listener in Iowa who happens to be the parent of a missionary serving in eastern Europe. She writes: Hi John, I shared your podcast from last Wednesday with the wife of the man who leads our small group at The Mission Church.  She leads a girls Bible study at a ministry in Des Moines called Freedom for Youth.  It is a wonderful ministry (you can google it) to help kids succeed in life. They have help for kids with school work, teach some trade skills and encourage kids of all ages.  She enjoyed your podcast and is using some of the ideas with her girls tonight.  Thought you might like to know. I found this email encouraging on two levels. One is that this Iowa listener thought enough of the podcast to refer it to her friend with the kids' ministry. And secondly, that her friend is using some of the things we talk about on the podcast with the girls she works with. I so appreciate that some people recognize teaching children about relationship principles is important. Encouraging emails like these last two have been on my mind lately, and I am grateful for them. Listening is a relational journey Something else on my mind I've been thinking about is a comment another listener shared with me recently. It was the day Episode 154 aired, “How to Listen Like a Hostage Negotiator.” In his email he writes, John, Thank you again so very much for these podcasts!  Even though I don't often respond, I want to say that Karen and I listen regularly to these podcasts.  They are such gentle, weekly reminders of one powerful truth that I know I need to be reminded of regularly... to LISTEN! Our pastor said at Mia's funeral… I need to stop here for a second. Mia is his granddaughter who was stillborn a few months ago. I talk about it in episode 148, “What Not to Say When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” Back to my friend's email. He continues, Our pastor said at Mia's funeral that grief is not a problem to be solved, but a journey to be traveled. That's what I think about listening... it is not a one-and-done practice to conquer... it is a journey to be traveled over a lifetime. Thanks, John, for this weekly reminder of such a critical part of our relational journey with others! I love that phrase, listening is not a one-and-done practice to conquer. It is a journey to be traveled over a lifetime. That thought has been on my mind lately because it gives hope to those of us who struggle with listening. You can listen to a podcast while doing something else There are other things I've been thinking about and are on my mind, but I'll end with just one more. It comes from a listener who emailed me with this thought after listening to a recent episode, I listened this morning while folding laundry - always encouraging and your soothing voice is a great start to the day! Well, that just made me smile picturing her folding laundry while listening to the podcast. That's the wonderful thing about podcasts I've talked about before. You can be doing other things while you listen. Walk the dog, wait in line to pick your kids up from school, drive to work, wait in line at the grocery store, and… while you're folding laundry. All things you can do while listening to a podcast. If you're doing brain surgery, however, save the podcast til later. Or watch one of those how-to YouTube videos instead. So what does all this mean for YOU? Several things, first, what is on your mind? What have you been thinking about lately? What are the things keeping you up at night? Is there anything you wonder about? The challenges or stresses you are facing. The things you're grateful for. What are you looking forward to? Don't dig into your psyche, instead consider top-of-mind issues. Then write them down. You just need to get your thoughts out of your head and onto a piece of paper. In looking at my answers, I see a lot of positive things that have been on my mind. That's often not the case, but when it is I feel blessed. I hope you'll feel the same way when you give your answers to what's on your mind? Secondly, try asking people in your life, this same question and see what happens. Start conversations with it and see where it takes you. My hunch is what's on your mind? will take you both deeper than just sharing about the events that have happened since you last talked. Here's the main takeaway I hope you remember from today's episode Asking people in a group, or individually, “what's on your mind,” helps others go deeper than sharing news of the superficial events in our life. I'd love to hear how this goes for you. Closing In closing, I hope your thinking was stimulated by today's show, enough to put into practice what you've just heard about asking people what's on their mind. For when you do, it will help you experience the joy of relationships God intends for us. Because after all, You Were Made for This. Well, that's it for today. In the meantime, spread a little relational sunshine with the people you meet this week. Create some joy. And I'll see you again next time. Goodbye for now. Related episodes you may want to listen to 153: Two Stories of How to Reflect the Character of God 148: What Not to Say When Bad Things Happen to Good People 139: Why Should I Listen to This Podcast? Our Sponsor You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We are supported by the generosity of people like you to continue this weekly podcast and other services we provide to missionaries around the world.

One of the pleasures of summer is taking time to relax with a good book that both entertains and informs. Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss does both. It's a book that will raise your relational intelligence. You would do well to put it on your summer reading list. I review it in today's episode. Get ready for summer Some magazines and newspaper articles will soon be writing pieces about the top ten, or top five, books to put on your summer reading list. I'm not going to put out a list, but I do have a recommendation of one book that I'm pretty sure you will enjoy. It's a non-fiction book that reads like a novel. I found it to be well-written, entertaining, and something that taught me a few things to increase my relationship skills. I'm going to talk about the book in today's episode because I think you're going to find it helpful, too. So keep listening. You're going to like this one. Never Split the Difference - Negotiating as if your life depended on it [NOTE: As an Amazon Associate, Caring for Others, sponsor of this podcast, earns a small commission from qualifying purchases.] The book I'm referring to and reviewing is in some ways a follow-up to episode 154 of this podcast, “How to Listen Like a Hostage Negotiator.” The name of the book is Never Split the Difference, with the subtitle Negotiating as if your life depended on it. It's by Chris Voss a former hostage negotiator with the FBI. Now at first glance, you might think a book about hostage negotiation as something not terribly interesting. Becoming a hostage negotiator may not be one of your five-year goals. You're probably not going to suggest it as a career for your children. This book is so much more than that. I first came across the book when I heard the author on a podcast I listened to. The stories he told from his experience in negotiating the release of hostages were fascinating. He got me hooked, so I read his book, Never Split the Difference. I recommend you put it on your summer reading list. Amazon Reviews For this review, I looked on Amazon to see what others who read the book thought of it. At the time I checked, Never Split the Difference had over 23,000 reviews and was number 19 on Amazon's bestseller list. 94% of the ratings were either 4 or 5 stars. The few negative reviews either complained about a printing problem with pages being cut off or blank pages. The other complaint was some readers thought the author was too egotistical and self-promoting. I get that and see a little of it more in the beginning of the book. I'm usually sensitive to this kind of thing, but frankly, it didn't bother me in the least, especially as I got into the book and saw the compassion he had on occasion for people. Other reviews said there were too many stories of negotiating sessions he was involved in and that the book doesn't have much to offer for the rest of us. My perspective, however, is just the opposite. I actually loved the stories because they were well-written, first of all, and secondly, they all illustrated principles of human interaction. The 94% who gave it a 4 or 5-star rating had good reason to do so. The rest of this review is my reasons for recommending you put the book on your summer reading list. Who the book is for If you like stories of good guys going after bad guys you'll like this book for that reason alone. You'll also like it if you're involved in sales or running a business, as I was for 25 years. There are many strategies the author used in hostage negotiation that are applicable in the business world. If you're a parent or interact with other people, you'll find this book helpful. If you plan to ask your boss for a raise, you'll find a few useful suggestions in the book. When you're selling or buying stuff at a garage/rummage/yard sale this book will save you money. Furthermore, and this is most interesting and another reason to put this book on your summer reading list. We have a number of missionaries who listen to this podcast, and if you're one of them, especially if you serve in a part of the world where hostage-taking is not unusual you would do well to read Never Split the Difference. The author was deeply involved in the negotiations to secure the release of New Tribes missionaries Martin and Gracia Burnham held hostage by a radical Islamist group in 2001. He comments at length on what went wrong and calls it the “biggest failure in my professional life.” He talks about it in the first few pages of Chapter 7. It's a tragic story that didn't have to end the way it did. Finally, if you hate conflict, this book is a must-read. Especially the last chapter. There's really good stuff here that you won't find in most other books on dealing with conflict. Structure of the book The paperback version I have is 258 pages in length, which includes a helpful appendix. A footnotes section and index follow. The table of contents lists ten chapters, with a brief phrase that describes each chapter. One of the helpful things about how the book is structured is that except for the first one, each chapter ends with a section he calls “Key Lessons.” It reviews and summarizes the main points the author is trying to get across. I wouldn't recommend reading only this section, as you'll miss the stories the author uses to illustrate each of the key concepts. The book is an easy read for your summer reading list and it won't take long to get through it. The premise of the book The experiences the author shares in hostage negotiations are all interesting and engaging. And there's a heavy dose of that. But more than this, I enjoyed and learned from how he related to people so very different from the kind of people you and I interact with. Reading the book will raise the relational intelligence level of most readers. I've been a student of listening for many years and I learned principles and techniques of listening I have not come across anywhere else. In fact, if I were to teach a college course on listening, this book would be required reading in my syllabus. While I'm waiting for the teaching offers to pour in, I'm content for now to just recommend you put Never Split the Difference on your summer reading list. Passages from the book that grabbed me I'll start by sharing some passages from the book that grabbed me, because I think they will grab you, too. One line from the book that I won't soon forget is this question, “How am I supposed to do that?” You can use it when buying a car and the salesman wants you to pay more than you want to pay. I used it when I sold a car for my son when the buyer wanted to pay less than what my son wanted to sell it for. It worked! Our daughter used the same line when she and her husband sold a house they had rehabbed. “How am I supposed to sell the house for X, when we've already put in Y thousands of dollars to fix it up?” It worked for them, too. The author goes into the psychology of why this one question is so effective. I won't go into it here. It's another reason to put Never Split the Difference on your summer reading list. The author suggests several other questions in chapter 7 to ask that would be helpful for the parties involved in dealing with marital issues, parenting, and differences between friends, neighbors, and co-workers. I will list them in the show notes, but for now, here they are: What about this is important to you? How can I help make this better for us? How would you like me to proceed? What is it that brought us into this situation? How can we solve this problem? What is the objective?/What are we trying to accomplish here? People who lie to us Following this, in chapter 8, author Chris Voss cites a Harvard University study showing that “on average, liars use more words than truth-tellers and far more third-person pronouns. They start talking about him, her, it. one, they, and their rather than I, in order to put some distance between themselves and the lie.” Throughout the book, the author sprinkles in results of various research studies that show me he's not just shooting from the hip in presenting his arguments. “My name is Chris” Also in chapter 8 is an interesting relational technique I'm going to try sometime. The author writes: “A few years ago I was in a bar in Kansas with a bunch of fellow FBI negotiators. The bar was packed, but I saw one empty chair. I moved toward it but just as I got ready to sit the guy next to it said, ‘Don't even think about it.” “Why? I asked, and he said, “Because I'll kick your …. [I'll stop and let you figure out what part of the anatomy the guy was going to kick].” Back to the author's story. “He was big, burly, and already drunk, but look, I'm a lifelong hostage negotiator - I gravitate toward tense situations that need mediation like a moth to the flame. “I held out my hand to shake his and said, ‘My name is Chris.' “The dude froze. and in the pause my fellow FBI guys moved in, patted him on the shoulders, and offered to buy him a drink. Turned out he was a Vietnam veteran at a particularly low point. He was in a packed bar where the entire world seemed to be celebrating. The only thing he could think of was to fight. But as soon as I became ‘Chris,' everything changed. I just love this story of how he diffused the guy's anger, and how once he knew more of the man's story he viewed him with compassion. It's another reason to put the book on your summer reading list. I've learned over the years that when I see an angry person, there's usually a hurt, sad, or fearful person underneath the angry exterior. The Chris discount The author goes on to tell another story right after the bar incident. He was in a shopping mall and picked out some shirts he wanted to buy. The checkout clerk asked him if he wanted to join their frequent buyer program. “I asked her if I got a discount for joining and she said, ‘No.' “So I decided to try another angle. I said in a friendly manner, ‘My name is Chris. What is the Chris discount?' “She looked from the register, met my eyes, and gave a little laugh. ‘I'll have to ask my manager, Kathy,' she said and turned to the woman who'd been standing next to her. “Kathy, who'd heard the whole exchange, said ‘The best I can do is ten percent.' “Humanize yourself. Use your name to introduce yourself. Say it in a fun, friendly way. Let them enjoy the interaction, too. And get your own special price.” I love this guy's approach. I wish this guy was a neighbor. This second story Chris Voss shared certainly humanizes himself for me. It's a great example of what I've been saying lately at the end of each episode, spread a little relational sunshine this week. Use a little humor. Lighten things up in our relationships. Make people smile every now and then. Bargaining In chapter 9 he tells two stories of how what he learned in hostage negotiation that helped him buy a car that listed for $36,000. He got the dealership to sell it to him for $30,000. He also shared a story of one of his MBA students negotiating a rent decrease after it had just gone up. The Author says this about negotiating that applies to any relationship, “It's not how well you speak, but how well you listen that determines your success.” For me, the most inspiring part of the book comes near the end, in chapter 10: “Every engineer, every executive, every child - all of us want to believe we are capable of the extraordinary. As children, our daydreams feature ourselves as primary players in great moments: an actor winning an Oscar, an athlete hitting the game-winning shot. As we grow older, however, our parents, teachers, and friends talk more of what we can't and shouldn't do than what is possible. We begin to lose faith. A map to joy “But when someone displays a passion for what we've always wanted and conveys a purposeful plan of how to get there, we allow our perceptions of what's possible to change. We're all hungry for a map to joy, and when someone is courageous enough to draw it for us, we naturally follow.” What he says here so reminds me of a text I received a few months ago, completely out of the blue, from a former student of mine decades ago when I was a teacher. Geraldine has stayed in touch with Janet and me over the years and wrote the following: Hi John! I hope this finds you and Janet happy and healthy! I just want to let you know how you inspired my life. I would not be a nurse without you. You told me so many years ago that I was smart enough to go to college. I have touched so many lives because of you. Thank you for that! Sincerely, Geraldine This brought tears to my eyes. Without even knowing it I drew a “map to joy” for her so long ago. I bet many of you have done the same thing for others, too. It's such a great privilege to do so. Conflict Back to the author. He writes: “If this book accomplishes only one thing, I hope it gets you over the fear of conflict and encourages you to navigate it with empathy. If you're going to be great at anything - a great negotiator, a great manager, a great husband, a great wife - you're going to have to do that. You're going to have to ignore that little genie who's telling you to give up, to just get along - as well as that other genie who's telling you to lash out and yell.” And finally, the last few lines near the end of the book read as follows: “… I'm going to leave you with one request: Whether it's in the office or around the family dinner table, don't avoid honest, clear conflict. It will get you the best car price, the higher salary, and the largest donation. It will also save your marriage, your friendship, and your family. “One can only be an exceptional negotiator, and a great person by both listening and speaking clearly and empathically; treating counterparts - and oneself - with dignity and respect; and most of all by being honest about what one wants and what one can - and cannot - do. Every negotiation, every conversation, every moment of life is a series of small conflicts, that managed well, can rise to creative beauty. “Embrace them.” So what does all this mean for YOU? Are you creating a map for joy for anyone? Has anyone done it for you? If so, thank them, even if it's decades later, like Geraldine did for me. Finally, and I hope this is obvious by now, put Never Split the Difference on your summer reading list. If you buy it from Amazon, please use the link I have at the bottom of the show notes. This will generate a very small commission for our missionary Care ministry, Caring for Others. The book won't cost you any more. Here's the main takeaway I hope you remember from today's episode Reading Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss will raise your level of relational intelligence in an entertaining way. It will increase your relationship skills and bring more joy into your life. Please let me know what you think about today's episode. I'd love to hear from you. Closing In closing, I hope your thinking was stimulated by today's show, to get the book Never Split the Difference and put into practice some of the things you heard today. It will help you experience the joy of relationships God intends for you. Because after all, You Were Made for This. That's about it for today. Be sure to check out the links at the bottom of the show notes. And remember to spread a little relational sunshine with the people you met this week. Oh, and don't forget to ask for the “John discount.” That's “John with an h.” Let me know how that works for you. Until we meet up again next week, goodbye for now. Related episodes/resources you may want to check out 154: How to Listen Like a Hostage Negotiator 139: Why Should I Listen to This Podcast?- Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss NOTE: As an Amazon Associate, Caring for Others earns a small commission from qualifying purchases. Our Sponsor You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We are supported by the generosity of people like you to continue this weekly podcast and other services we provide to missionaries around the world.

You will brighten someone's day when you initiate with them, letting them know you're thinking about them, and wondering how they are doing. Simple acts like this go a long way to deepening a relationship. Listen in. Help Needed Before we get into today's show I could use your help with something. I've been asked to give a Zoom presentation at the end of February to the Legacy Coalition, a Christian Grandparenting organization. It's not finalized yet, but I think I'm going to give a talk on memories that Grandparents can create for their grandchildren. As part of this, I would so like to share any memories you are willing to share of memories your grandparents created for you. They can be from when you were a child, or as an adult. It would be interesting and encouraging to hear any stories like this from you. It might even turn into a future podcast episode. Please send it to me in an email to john [at]caringforothers [dot]org. On to today's program. A relational word to focus on for 2022 Have you ever had one of those gray, dull days where things going on in your life match the dreary overcast weather of the middle of winter? But then suddenly out of nowhere, something happens to lift your spirits? Today's episode is about something simple we can do to brighten someone's day, which in turn will brighten our own. Because of several unrelated texts and emails, I stumbled upon one simple way to brighten another person's day. Here it is: initiate with someone. Yes, initiate. I know some of you like coming up with a word or goal to focus on for the new year. If that's the case with you, “initiate” would be a good choice. Initiate by taking the first step in connecting with someone. Here's the first example I stumbled upon Back in December of last year, there was a horrific display of evil in our community. It even made the national news here in the US. During an annual Christmas parade through the quaint downtown of Waukesha, Wisconsin, a man drove his SUV right down the middle of the parade. Starting from the rear, he plowed through marching bands, other parade participants, and spectators. Six people were killed, including an 8-year old boy. Over 60 others were injured and hospitalized. It was horrible. This happened on a Sunday. The next day the school was canceled in Waukesha. One of the donors to the sponsor of this podcast, Caring for Others, has a high school senior in that school system. I happen to know this young man through his parents and I wondered if he was affected by this trauma. A text to initiate contact So without giving it a second thought I texted him with this: ME: I am thinking about you today, given the Christmas parade tragedy of yesterday. I heard school is canceled today. I'm wondering how you're doing with all that happened. Did you know anyone who was hurt? HIM: I'm doing okay, thank you for thinking of me. I wasn't at the parade but I know people who saw it happen and everyone's a little stressed about it. I know one person who got hit by the SUV but no serious injuries on his part. ME: I'm glad to hear you're okay. It's certainly a terrible tragedy, certainly for those injured or worse, and for those like your friends who saw it happen. HIM: Yeah, thank you for checking on me though it means a lot. I was a little surprised at first that my simple spur-of-the-moment text meant a lot to him. But as I re-read his reply to my text it struck me how he appreciated the fact I was thinking of him in the context of this terrible event. Thinking about what he might be dealing with prompted me to initiate with him through a simple text. Who of us wouldn't feel good knowing someone else was thinking about us in the midst of a difficult situation. A second example of initiating to brighten someone's day Last Thanksgiving our daughter living in South Carolina was in a particularly grateful mood and sent me a text that read I am thankful for you and all your support this year. Thanks for checking in on me so many times this fall. It really meant a lot to me to know you were thinking about me. There it is again, this theme of initiating with a person that starts with simply thinking about the person and checking in on them. Thanksgiving without your wife Around the same time I got the text from my daughter I was thinking about my missionary friend, Martin. I talked about him in episodes 071 and 072 concerning the sudden death of his wife. I was thinking about him last November because it was going to be his second Thanksgiving without her. So I called to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. My call went to voice mail, but within a few hours he responded to me in a text: Hi John, thank you for reaching out and thinking of us. Serena's godmother from Germany is visiting and celebrating Thanksgiving with us. That's a blessing. Hope you have a good Thanksgiving as well!! A voice from the past initiated with Janet and me Here's the last example of how to brighten someone's day. On November 10th of last year, Janet and I were traveling and in the evening I checked our voicemail at home. To my astonishment, there was a message from Margaret, a friend from over 50 years ago we had lost contact with. She remembered our daughter's birthday was coming up the next day, November 11th - Veteran's Day, and that prompted her to track us down after all these years have passed. Her remembering our daughter's birthday, made her think of us, and that prompted her to contact Janet and me. Her initiating with us like this certainly brightened our day and has led to several follow-up phone calls between the three of us. Sadly it's been just the three of us talking because her wonderful husband died two years ago. I won't go any further now to describe this remarkable re-connection. It deserves a podcast episode of its own at a later date. So what does all this mean for YOU? The more I think of these examples I've shared, and others I haven't, they remind me of how Jesus initiates with us. His incarnation at Christmas was him coming to be with us, so one day we can go to be with him. They remind me of the story of Jesus initiating with the woman at the well. He went out of his way to be with her, even though she was so very different from him. She was a woman, he's a man. Jesus' followers at the time looked down upon her.. Yet Jesus initiated with her anyway, which in a very powerful way, brightened her day. Read the story in John 4; it's all there. Given that we are all created in the image of God, when we initiate well with people, without any motive for personal gain, we reflect the character of God. And in doing so, we will find fulfillment in being the person God created us to be. I wonder who are the people in your life you could bless by initiating with them? Maybe even someone from your distant past. I know if you were to ask God who these people are He would show you. Here's the main point I hope you remember from today's episode To brighten someone's day, check-in with them to let them know you are thinking about them and wondering how they are doing. For when you brighten someone's day, you'll brighten your own. It's what we're all made for. I'd love to hear any thoughts you have about today's episode. You can leave them in the “Leave a Comment” box at the bottom of the show notes. Closing In closing, I hope your thinking was stimulated by today's show, to think about the people you could initiate with, and then act on that thought. It would be one way to find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This. Well, that's all for today. I look forward to connecting with you again next week. Goodbye for now. Related episodes you may want to listen to 071: How to Help a Grieving Friend 072: What I Learned From a Grieving Friend Our Sponsor You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We depend upon the generosity of people like you to pay our bills.  If you'd like to support what we do with a secure tax-deductible donation, please click here. Thank you.  

I didn't see this coming, but episode 121 that aired five weeks ago, “The Relational Energy of Fall,” had the most listener response of any podcast episode this year, and I think for any of the past episodes since the podcast began in late November of 2018. Keep listening to hear what listeners responded to because I think you'll be encouraged as you hear how sometimes God uses strangers to care for us. The excerpt from episode 121 that started it all I'll have a link to the entire episode 121 in the show notes, but for now, here's a brief excerpt from “Experience the Relational Energy of Fall.” [ I'm sorry, there is no transcript for this part of the podcast. Please listen to the podcast.] Listener feedback As you heard in the clip that just played, I felt helpless when I talked to Stacey. I wanted to do something besides listen. Yet, there was nothing I could do to make things better. But then, weeks later, when the episode aired, I started getting responses from several listeners, which gave me an idea. Before I tell you the idea, here's the feedback I received that prompted me to do something “John, I  enjoyed today's podcast. I will be praying for "Stacy" I was touched by her story.”  - Patty “Good morning John. I appreciated this week's You Were Made for This podcast. . . And for your daughter's high school friend, how difficult of a time she is going through. I'm sure you mentioning that story rallied many to be praying for her. It did me.” - Randy Another local podcast listener I ran into asked about Stacey, “How sad," he said about her situation. And finally, there was this response from a listener “Having been walking around the past few weeks, sometimes on the verge of tears, I have felt very alone in my sadness. “But the few times when a brave person has been bold enough to ask me how I am doing, and then taken the time to truly listen, has been a healing balm. And a rare gift. ”There are no words I need or even want to hear. I just sometimes need a safe place to let a few tears seep out every now and then to cleanse my emotional paLette. “Thanks for the reminder that it is OK to feel awkward if it allows another human being the chance to be real.” ~ Imelda NOTE: Imelda prayed for her, too! I was surprised and encouraged by people's reaction, at the compassion, and how they volunteered to pray for Stacey. Nobody asked them to do this! Their empathy for her and her difficult situation was palpable. They put themselves emotionally into her shoes. An abusive spouse. The prospect of not seeing her children. How will I pay the bills? All three of these examples show me that somes God uses strangers to bless us and care for us. What to do with this listener feedback After hearing these responses to Stacey's story, the idea that came to me was to go back to the office supply store where she worked to let her know people were praying for her. I thought that would encourage her, and hopefully lighten her load a bit. It would be putting 2 Corinthians 13:11 into practice, where we are told, “encourage each other.” So I stopped into the office supply store one day, but she wasn't there. Before going the next time, I wrote a note and put it in an envelope with her name on it, thinking if she wasn't in again, I'd ask one of her co-workers to give it to her when she came into work. In the note, I said that I had a podcast and that I was so touched by the conversation we had several weeks ago that I used it as the subject of a podcast episode, changing her name, of course, to protect her privacy. I told her about the podcast and how she could listen to it, and then I concluded with the following: Much to my surprise, 4 different listeners have taken the time to tell me that they are praying for you. I have been doing the same most days since we last met. I hope this encourages you. Stacey responds Sure enough, she was gone again the next time I stopped into the store. So I dropped off the note with a co-worker before I checked out with my office supplies. The same day I dropped the note off for Stacey, she sent me an email later that night. It read: “Hi John, When I got to work tonight, a co-worker told me, "A man came in with an envelope for you.  He said you went to school with his daughter, and asked me to hand-deliver it to you.  I put it in the office.  I'm  not sure what it is." "I was intrigued. What the heck?  Who is this man?  Who is the person I went to school with?  So I went to the office and found the envelope with my name on it, and your return address label.  I opened it up, and couldn't make it to the 2nd paragraph without crying.  I was a mess.  Finally, though I got through the whole thing and I was bawling!  Then I showed it to my co-worker (who is not a Christian, by the way), and she thought it was really nice.  She said, ‘You never know when people are thinking about you and that they care.' "Now that I'm living with my parents again, I showed them the letter as soon as I got home.  Again, I couldn't make it through the letter without crying.  I was anxious to listen to the podcast!  I just finished listening and I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the prayer that's going into my marriage . . . Most people would say I should've left him a long time ago.  I had one friend end our friendship because she couldn't take listening to all the stories of abuse and how I still kept going back to him.  Hearing your podcast was inspirational, so for that, I thank you. "Thanks again for your letter, and for using me in your podcast.  Just knowing strangers are praying for me is humbling.” So what does all this mean for the rest of us? Knowing that sometimes God uses strangers to care for people, we can do what Imelda talked about, namely Be a brave person, bold enough to ask someone how they are doing, and then take the time to truly listen. Don't worry about the words to say. Be a safe place for someone to cleanse their emotional palette, as she puts it. And then feel awkward doing this. Here's the main point I hope you remember from today's episode There are times when God uses strangers to care for us, to let us know we are not alone during our darkest of days. Conversely, there is real joy in being one of those strangers God uses to bless someone with our prayers. It brings out the best in us. I'd love to hear any thoughts you have about today's episode. Just send them to me in an email to john [at] caringforothers [dot] org. Or you can share your thoughts in the “Leave a Comment” box at the bottom of the show notes. Closing In closing, if you found this podcast helpful, please forward it to someone else. I hope your thinking was stimulated by today's show, to both reflect and to act. Maybe to pray for a stranger going through a tough time. When you do so, you will find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Even a relationship with a stranger. Because after all, You Were Made for This. Well, that's all for today. I look forward to connecting with you again next week. Goodbye for now. Related episodes you may want to listen to 121: Experience the Relational Energy of Fall You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We depend upon the generosity of donors to pay our bills.  If you'd like to support what we do with a secure tax-deductible donation, please click here. We'd be so grateful if you did.

Hi John, welcome to saunatimes. I thought I'd start by having you share how and when you first got started with the WHM and cold water exposure. Most of my life I've had a terrible relationship to the cold. I hated cold water and if it dropped below 60F I would bundle up like I was preparing for an Arctic adventure. In 2013, when a friend let me know about a Wim Hof workshop that was being held in Austin, all I saw was a picture of Wim sitting in a barrel of ice and though “No way!! Why would I pay money to go sit in ice water?!” My resistance was strong enough, however, that it made me curious, and I signed up. Those first two ice baths with Wim that weekend were miserable, but life-changing. The big issue with living in central Texas – a sub-tropical climate – is that cold water is not readily available. It wasn't until 3 years later after experiencing two years of brutal insomnia that I found the amazing benefits of a regular cold water practice. After spending thousands of dollars on various insomnia treatments from many different kinds of approaches and modalities – none of which provided any lasting benefit – a friend who is a Wim Hof Method instructor suggested that I try cold water immersion before bed. I bought a hundred pound of ice, filled up my bathtub, and got the best night's sleep I'd had in two years. I did that three more times before realizing that hauling ice was going to get expensive and take a lot of time. That's what motivated me to look into other ways to get cold water. What did your early cold plunge set up look like? My cold plunge has been through a number of evolutions through the years. The very first thing I did after ice baths was buy a Whirlpool 15 cubic foot chest freezer and fill it with water. That was great until three days later I opened it up and discovered a few rivers of rust pouring out of the seams.  The ice chest freezer for cold plunge, why is it such a “winner” for DIY cold plunge enthusiasts? People love DIY for a few different reasons. For many who don't have the budget to buy a commercially made cold plunge, the DIY route is financially motivated.  A basic setup with a used chest freezer can be created for less than a few hundred dollars. Even a very well equipped high-end chest freezer setup can cost less – in some cases *way* less, than half of the commercially made models.    Let's talk about your Chest Freezer Cold Plunge book, how did that come about?  After having a number of problems and issues with my chest freezer cold plunge experiments and finally getting it dialed in, I wanted to start a group where we could talk about various issues and brainstorm ideas. It only took a month or two before I noticed many people asking the same basic questions. So I wrote a FAQ. That expanded pretty quickly to 13 pages, and I still felt like it wasn't detailed enough, so I decided to write a book. Editor's note: Link to John's book is here. You have helped many others adapt their chest freezer for cold plunge, including the starting of your Facebook group. How did that start and how is that going? When I started learning about converting a chest freezer into a cold plunge, there were maybe 30,000 people in the Wim Hof Method Facebook group, but only a few posts about chest freezers. And most of those posts were “Hey I did this!” but lacking “How I did this.” The posts were also hard to keep track of and follow with all of the other content being posted. I had a sense that a separate group to discuss making a cold plunge from a chest freezer would be helpful. I asked one of the Wim Hof group admins if he would be OK with me starting a separate group. He said yes, and let me post a couple of messages about it. It grew from there. “Contrast therapy” is a big thing. Please comment on sauna AND cold plunge, as peanut butter and jelly, or 1+1=3? I love hot tubs and saunas. As I mentioned, I hated the cold for most of my life. When I was looking for apartments, my # 1 criteria after location was “Does it have a hot tub!” The last apartment I lived in for four years had a sauna, and I thought I was in heaven. I don't have one where I live now, but have experienced contrast therapy at a few resorts, spas, and natural springs that I have been to over the years. One of my goals is to add a sauna at home. I've read some of the research and know that the benefits are awesome. Contrast therapy provides a huge metabolic workout. I suspect that it is not a matter of either hot or cold, rather one of both hot and cold. I know cold by itself has tremendous benefits. Adding a sauna to that practice seems to have an exponential benefit. After reading Dr. Rhonda Patrick's papers on heat shock and cold shock, I'm a believer in the value of both. Editor's note: further reading: with cold plunge and sauna, 1+1=3.

  John Davis, the founder of The Corporate Action Hero, shares his series of inspiring journey from being an introverted kid, to being a fight and stunt director, his accident that got him temporarily paralysed, to being a professional comedy sword-fighting stuntman performing before the US military and to the mindset coach that he is today. He also touched on the topic of spirituality and the different beliefs and religions - from Christianity, to Buddhism, Hinduism and more! Follow John: https://www.corporateactionhero.com/ Inner Action Hero Podcast Free gift from John: www.corporateactionhero.com/gift The Corporate Action Hero Youtube Channel   Zestie survey: I'd like to know you better! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6CVL2QD   Join the zesty community on: Instagram: instagram.com/gleefultalkshow Facebook: fb.com/gleefultalkshow Visit us: www.gleefultalkshow.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAq4xOTu7iiaRfPT3t1Nl0Q   Ways to support Gleeful Talkshow: Share to your friends Share on social media Leave a rating on podcasting platforms and Facebook page Buy Glee a cup of coffee or two!   https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ANQENUPWKT9JS   This episode is recorded via Riverside.FM. Click on this link  and enter Mediaboard25 upon check out to get 25% discount off your first 3 months of subscription.   Transcript:   And after being paralyzed, I was able to work my way back from that condition, regain mobility and go on to do over 4,000 live comedy sword fighting shows all over the world.  Hey Zesties.. Welcome to the Gleeful talk show where we share zesty stories to cultivate the happiness and heroes. In this episode, we will learn about how to hack our mind for success. Using the five F's of achievement, how humor can always be a good thing and becoming our own superhero. Today's guest is a motivational speaker leader and mindset coach who has worked as a fight director and stunt coordinator for stage and film. His ability to engage teams was instrumental in the increased profitability of three regional parks by more than 60% under this his direction. What's more interesting is that he was also a professional comedian who brought unique entertainments to the military on six USO tours to the front lines of both Iraq and Afghanistan. Please welcome the corporate action hero. John Davis. Hi John. Welcome to the show. Well, hello. I'm so excited. I am Gleeful to be here. Thank you very much. Oh, no think. Oh, great. Yes. So I've read about you and then You all have performed live comedy sword, fighting stunts in Iraq and Afghanistan. So I'm very curious about how you went there basically. Well, when I was a young man, I wanted to be a stunt man and a fight director. and I started doing Renaissance festivals and I put together a comedy sword fighting show called hack and slash. that early, early days of that process, I ended up having a serious back injury, which left me paralyzed. And after being paralyzed, I was able to work my way back from that condition, regain mobility and go on to do over 4,000 live comedy sword fighting shows all over the world. And one day, while I was in Annapolis, Maryland, I was stepping off of the stage. And these two gentlemen walked up and said, Hey, we've been fans of yours for years. We were wondering if you would be interested in doing USO shows cause they were from the Pentagon and we were sick. Sure. We're very excited. We were like, yeah, absolutely. So we, put all our marketing material together and we went over it and we dropped it off on their desk on September 10th, 2001,  the next day, September 11th. The day after we were in the Pentagon, the Pentagon got hit and the, and the two towers got hit and they shut down all their offices and they called us up a month later and they said, can you go immediately? And immediately we had to go get her shots and her paperwork and all that stuff. So we left in November that year. And we went from November to February when all over Europe, as they're building up to go over to Iraq and Afghanistan on the second tour, they sent us back to Europe. But at that point, most of the soldiers were already out in Afghanistan. And by our third tour, we were already in Iraq. and Afghanistan. And by our third, fourth, fifth, and six tours, we went all the way out to all of the small forward operating bases. We were a mile from the Syrian border in Iraq. We were Baghdad. We were everywhere in Iraq. Had some pretty harrowing experiences there, but Those soldiers were out there in the field and we showed up and made them laugh for two hours, which gave them a little stress relief. And, no matter what, no matter what, just think of the wars or why they were there. The U S military is a all volunteer military. And that means that they have volunteered to go anywhere in the world to defend me and my freedoms. So it's the least I could do to go out there and at least make them laugh. And, we did a comedy store in fighting show, which was based in Renaissance themed. So we'd show up in Iraq, wearing tights  to visualize the visual. I'm not ready. when this, happened in 2001, and then you've mentioned previously, at first you weren't really into this, Presenting to people and doing these comedy shows. you have a bit of a story before this came into fruition. my father was a emotional abuser and an alcoholic. And, he had seven kids and I was the one that he chose to take the brunt of his anger out on. And that manifested into a very overweight 13 year old. I was 265 pounds at 13 years old and became a complete introvert. And a friend of mine took me to go run. It's not festival that I suddenly got all this positive reinforcement because when he took me there, he didn't just take me there. He put me in a costume and in fact, he put me in a, full armor Viking costume. So now I was a big fellow at that point. when he took me there, I was 17 or 18 and I was already six foot one, and I was a big, big guy with a beard. And. When they put me in full armor with horned helmet and giant battle axes and all day long people wanted their picture with me and people want to, and I had all this positive reinforcement. And when I came away from there, I was like, God, I really, I really love that. I found in that Renaissance festival in acting in general. I found a place where I could set down my fears and my self doubts and be somebody else and literally found myself in that process. Of course, once you start getting Notice for something and start being recognized for being good at something your ego can get out of hand, which mine did for a little while. And I brought that back. Thank God eventually. But eventually I found the passion for sword fighting. And when I met these two gentlemen at the Renaissance festival is Brad Waller and patient Bert. And they were so talented and they're two of the top fight directors in the country. And they saw talent in me as an actor and a combatant. And they told me they, wanted to help me in my growth and they gave me their training for free, which I thought was amazing. And so I was, getting into the martial arts. I was going for my black belt in TaeKwonDo and I was, sword fighting. And I was, doing all the stage combat at the Renaissance festivals. And then I had my, accident, which was, I, a buddy of mine asked me to come, help him unload his van. And he was a professional Potter. He had boxes of clay in his van there, 80 pounds a piece. And I went out to his house and I pick up the very first box. And when I picked up the first box and I turned to set it outside of the van, my spine broke in two and I collapsed and was paralyzed. And at that point, they took me to the dock, to the hospital and the doctor told me, he said, we don't think you're ever going to walk again. But if you do, you'll never have a physical career. You'll never be able to heal. You have to think of a sedentary lifestyle now. And meanwhile, at this point, my goal in life was to be a stunt man, a fight director and a martial artist. So. During that time a friend of mine came in and he handed me a book and the book was called The Dao of Jeet Kune Doby Bruce Lee, which if you really think about it could have been taken as a really cool we'll joke. But cause he, brought the martial artists who were just told he'd never do martial arts, again, a book by the greatest martial artists that ever live about martial arts. But I found out later that Bruce wrote that book when he was in traction in the hospital had just been told he'd never do martial arts again. And when you read that book, that book is all about his philosophy of martial arts. It's not about, do this, do this and this style. It's about his, mental process through martial arts. And so I found a couple things in there that were really fascinating. One of them was staying very present. Be in the present moment. Don't worry about the past or the future. Worry about being right here right now, making it the best. It can be. The second thing that I found in there was mental flexibility. No matter what anybody said about your life, if you don't have to take their belief, you can take your own. And so I decided that I was not going to take the doctor's belief and I just started taking my moments and I started working my muscles from my neck down piece at a time. And eventually what happened was I got down to my hips and I actually flexed my hips and the doctors were blown away because it was below the injury. But at, 30 days, I was able to sit up by the next month I was able to walk around and at a year I was back to what I would call a normal physicality, but not back to the strength that I was before. And in a year and six months, I was back to the strength that I was before. And I climbed up on top of a three-story tower and jumped off and I went on and did the 4,000 live comedy sort of fighting. He's done shows, including those ones in the front line, after that. wow. What a, journey when you were there in the hospital and doing this, what kept you going for, for that point after like reading the book? What was that? Like main takeaway. I guess that, that book was, the thing that I held on to, because when you're in a situation like that, first of all, the doctors are going to tell you only what they see on x-rays. And they're saying that. Well, we don't think you can because of this, this and this, right. And your family's telling you, well, don't get your hopes up because you may never walk again because they don't want you to get your hopes up. They don't want you to have the, to be depressed and be down, right? So you have all these people around you telling you, you can't, you've got to take your own moment and make your own choices. You know Buddha says what you think you become, you create your world. Gandhi says you must be the change you want to see in the world. Christian said you were the culmination of your thought as the Bible says, as a man thinketh. So is he and Jesus, Jesus said, whatever you ask in God's name is granted. And Moses said, God's name was, I am not what he thinks I am. Right. What I am, I have to make that declaration. So I had to make that declaration every time they would make account. So by holding onto that book and staying into the concept of staying very present in my moment, not theirs, because if I was putting myself in their moment, then I was not going to get out of that bed ever. So I declared my moment and I kept my moment.  I just couldn't imagine how, you went through on that time. How were you able to develop over time that mental strength whilst being in that situation? Yeah, that that's, that is a great question. And it kind of leads me into a little bit of my five F stuff because the biggest thing about your present moment is you can, succumb to your fears. Or you can start to create those. That's really the choices you have in your present moment. And your thoughts, words and deeds are only active in your present moment. And since they're only active in your present moment, if you're acting out of fear, you're creating a negative moment. And so I had to actively stop my fears because my biggest fears in life at that point were to not be a stunt man, not be a fight director, not do that work. And eventually it went on to doing the comedy shows, which, you know, it's swords and all that stuff too. But my biggest fear was that. So I started studying fear and what was fear. And I, now I travel all over the world and I ask audiences all over the world, give me the definition of fear. And their response is really interesting. What happens is the room goes silent. Because nobody can think of an answer until somebody says the, in the back of the room, you hear this little voice go false evidence appearing real, right? Yeah. Because that's the standard metaphysical answer that people always say now. But when you break fear down, scientifically, you suddenly discover a couple of things. Number one, fear is not rooted in your present moment because fear is an emotional reaction to some future event that may or may not happen with you. Focus on negative outcome. So fear is simply negatively focused on uncertainty. And so I had to get to the space where, well, if it's not rooted in my present and if it's not here and now, and all, it really is. I'm uncertain about a future and I'm focused on the negative outcome. That's really dumb because why, why would I focus on the negative when I can focus on the positive? What I had to do is I started to start labeling my fear. And starts setting it aside. my studies after the accident were actually more profound because going to Iraq and Afghanistan, I had to set my fears aside and the way I ended up doing that was when I did my studies, I started seeing that we all have a natural primal fight or flight response and that fight or flight response manifests itself in our natural primal fear response. And that fear response happens whenever we have a fearful response, we go, we guess, for air it's the first thing we do. if you ever watch National geographic shows are those safari shows on TV. You know, there's always that doomed gazelle, right? There's always one gazelle. That's out there in the field and he, his grass looks like this. Right. And then suddenly, the lion hits the field. The first thing the gazelle dobecause they'll do is do this literally gasped for air, right. And if you're a parent and you have children, I can guarantee you, you have probably seen your child almost get hurt and gone yourself. You've had that same exact primal response. Most people when they're in fear, don't think they can catch a breath. I don't think they can. And the reason they feel that way is not because they can't get air it's because their body is full of air and they can't put more in. Okay. So their body is conserving. It's conserving air because our primal response says you have to have a lot of air to run further and faster. Actors on Broadway are literally trained that when they walk on stage and forget their lines, they're literally trained to exhale, relax all their muscles and all of their lines rush right back into their head because they've turned off the fear response in turn their cognitive thinking brain back on. Because when you go into a fear response, you go into survival mode and it's nothing else is important, right? So that's why it works. Now, when I was on the front lines of Iraq and I talked to soldiers, I say, how can you go into the situation when you make it shot at or blown up now, how can you do it? And the first thing they said to me was, well, we all get together and we, we talk about it, go, okay, all right, we're going to do this. And they actively exhale. And then they just get really profoundly solid and going towards it. Next thing they said was, it makes it easy though, because we have an objective so they can get positively focused. Right. Or they can get fearlessly focused. Now I get two of my five F's in they're already fearlessly focused. Right. So I said, I said earlier that fear is an emotional reaction. It was just negatively focused on certainty. Right. So what these guys do is they exhale, rush, shut off the fear response and get positively focused. That's how they get their job done. Right. So here I was in the hospital, but that was the same thing I had to do. I had to let go of my fears and to get positively focused. so that's, that's the way I had to do it. So I had fearlessly focused. the biggest struggle of it all was the third of the five apps, which is faith. And faith is just belief. Confidence. You have to believe you're going to do it because if you don't believe you're going to do it, then you're, you're actually succumbing to your fears. You're actually telling yourself I can't do it. Oh my God. I'm afraid I can't is what they're really thinking. You have to believe it. Now sometimes belief or confidence is, is really just trust. Trust that you can and trust is developed by results over time. And so to develop results over time, you have to follow through on your actions. You have to make those choices and then take actions. So you have to fearlessly focused with faith and follow. Right. Right. So now we're free to see what we can say and follow through. Here's he's got four of the five F's in there. Now let's talk about follow-through for second follow through. You only have one present moment. This is what I discovered in that bed. You only have one present moment. The passage, just a collection of present moment memories that have a subconscious belief underlying them. And the future is just a place where you set goals for your next present moment. And the only way that, that, big goal that you have out there ever gets experienced is by stacking small, successful, present moments that are in alignment with that goal, because here's the big secret that most people in the problem that most people have is they look at that goal and they say, I have to get to that. I have to get to that. I have to get to that. Well, that's not the way the brain works. The brain only is active in the present moment. You can only do thought word and deed. And so what's actually happening is when you start stacking these present moments in alignment, that big goal is coming to you. And when you finally experience that big goal, that's going to be in your present moment. It's not going to be in the future, you have to stay very much here in stacks, small things. So lying in the hospital bed day one, I started with flexing my neck and my injury was that my was that my pelvis. next day, I worked my shoulders and my upper arms. And I slowly worked my way down my back until I got to that injury point. And then I went to my hips and I was able to do my hips backing the small present moments. I was able to bypass all of those other issues. And that thing came to me. And I, worked in Hollywood, I've worked with movie stars and the really cool thing is after the fact is that after learning all these things and I'll bring it to the last of the five F's. After learning all these things. I realized I can do anything in my life. And I did 4,000 comedies sort of fighting certain shows. I worked in Hollywood. I works big movie stars. I was a college professor. I was an artistic director of theme parks right now. I'm a keynote speaker that walked all over the world, speaking and teaching. I climb Mount Sinai. I climb Machu Picchu. I swim in the blue lagoons of Iceland. I've been to 30 countries. I've done everything I've ever wanted to do ever since strictly because I knew I know how to do it. Now. I know how to stay very present and stay very positive and then just stack my moments. So I get what I want and that's it. It's really much simpler than people make it. And I think it's so simple that people make it hard because it really can't be that simple can it? for example, if a negative person saying to you this time, I can't fathom, this, this idea and what would be a one sentence that you can tell that person? Well, first I had said the world is the world is 99% positive. And the way I would prove that is this. I live a half an hour from Cleveland, Ohio, the states, if I had a job in Cleveland and I commuted to Cleveland every day, I would probably pass a thousand cars on the road every day, possibly, probably not every day, but possibly every day I may see the remnants of car accident right tonight on the news is going to be the anomaly. That happened today, which is the accident, because what should be the headline of the news 999 cars made it safely to their destination without a problem. Right? And the really negative people are, are, are only negative because they're focused on the negative, right? That's one of the issues that we have in the world, people get, get married to their news and the news makes money by being negative. Right. You know, the more they get more viewers when they're more negative. And so, I stopped watching so much news. I just, you know, something big is gonna happen in the world. It's going to come to me is I'm going to find out, right. I'm not overly stressed about all the minutia, but the other thing is, is that negative people are always negative because of the fact that they're focused on the negative. No, they look for the negative. Now here's the problem with this. They're creating a negative present moment, right? Which is stacking into their subconscious mind as a past memory of negativity, which is stacking more and more behind, which is creating an underlying subconscious belief of negativity. Right? So now you have, subconscious belief that the world is a negative place, but here's the, here's the weird part. The subconscious mind has two jobs. The first job is to store memories of your present moments and then that subconscious belief. The other thing the subconscious mind does is show you what you're focused on. And I'll give you an example. I'm a person. I love Jeeps. I've had six of them in my life. I have one in my garage right now. I love Jeeps. When I drive down the road, I see every Jeep on the road. I see everyone. Okay. It's in my conscious mind that I consciously loved so I see Jeeps. Negative people are focused on the negative. So their subconscious mind shows them things to be negative about which stacks a negative moment in their subconscious belief, which creates a treadmill of negativity, The only way you break that cycle, is to consciously focus on a positive and making a positive, successful moment and start stacking. If you look at it from a Christian perspective, they would say, be born again, basically set down the past right now. Here's an interesting thing. And this is going into Buddhism a little bit in Buddhism. The one of the the most famous Buddhist quotes is life is suffering. But the, interesting thing is, the word that was translated into suffering was dukkha and dukkha in the language that it was translated from the language of Polly, Polly is what's known as a conceptual language and English is what's known as a literal language, right? So when they say dukkha, it has a much broader meaning than English can translate. So in English translates dukkha, there's actually three translations underneath of the word dukkha, And when people go there and they say, well, what life is dukkha? And they go there and translation, one is pain or suffering translation. Two is habitual response and translation. Number three is. Belief from past experience or subconscious belief. So dukkha means life is suffering because of our habitual response to our subconscious mind. So that's what I'm basically saying. If you're habitually responding negatively, you're going to habitually see negative, unless you consciously break the cycle. You have to be the one to break that cycle. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Thank you for that, John. Is it just because, you know, currently I'm also dealing with personal family problems like now, and you know, when it it's triggering every time, like, oh, okay, somebody is hospitalized. We need this money. And I'm the only one, like, the eldest. And then one could help them. So it's like really feeding all these negative information. And just for me, is that, as you said, I just need to consciously not think about that somebody is hospitalised. Maybe I should think that they are still alive. Right, right, right. It's most important that they think it right. because my brothers and sisters thinking I'm going to heal, it would not have helped me. It had to be me who did it. But, but however, if that person's in a hospital and you can be there and you can say, all right, we're going to get you through this and you can get them to believe it. Then you're going to change. You're going to change their life. That's, that's really the key, then if you look at it, it's very interesting because. You know, Google, like I said, Buddhist is what you think you become. And Jesus, when he did healings, he said it is your faith that heals you. Well, he didn't, he never said, it's your faith in me that heals you. It's your faith, your belief, your confidence. Right? So if that person who's in the hospital can get their faith and belief in their healing. There's no reason why they can't heal because I, should never have been able to jump off that tower because that's what they told them, but I couldn't take their belief cause I'm not going to live their life. I'm going to live mine. Right. And that that's what the person in the hospital. But however, when people are coming at you and they're constantly throwing stuff at you and throwing stuff on you as Responsibility is on you and you have to carry the weight of that responsibility. There are times when you have to realize the people who are doing that are doing that because they themselves feel weak and they themselves feel like they can't achieve anything. Or if you know what I mean? So what does that, that's them reading that that's them believing that and if they, if they could change their beliefs about now, here's the interesting thing is that when I changed my belief about money, this is going to sound very woo or metaphysical. But when I changed my belief about money, I made more money. Like almost instantly I made more money, right. I just started saying, oh, I made money. And I started getting consciously focused on making money. And then what happened is my subconscious mind started showing me opportunity. It's kind of like manifesting kind of. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But you see, if you want to look at it from a, from a metaphysical standpoint, Einstein said, everything that you see in this world is made of atoms and atoms are purely an energy event. There's nothing solid in them. Right? Noetic science, the new, the newest science in the market right now, Noetic science has just recently been able to measure thought waves. And when they measure the thought waves and those thoughts are focused at a very specific point in space, the waves stop at that point, they don't go past that point. And that right now they're in the process of measuring what's happening. And at that point they could tell something's happened. They just don't know what it is yet. So something is being created at the point in space where they're focusing their thought. So your thoughts are creative. So this is not spirituality I'm talking is. Science These are real science tests, right? They're actually showing this. So what's really happening right now is, the ancient texts and the spirituality and the Wu and all that is, now starting to be proven in some form. And it's a matter of getting out of the esoterica of it and into the science of it, in the corporate world, they talk about, you know, goal setting and achievement and all that stuff. it's the same stuff. It's the same stuff. Right? You talk to any of, any of the top moneymakers in the country, the big CEOs, every one of them had vision boards. They had pictures of what their goals and all the things that are going to do achieve every one of them. They had some, some of them had it on their desktop as a screensaver, you know, cause they open their computer and there was all the things that they're creating into their experience. But in their mind they weren't manifestations. They were just going. But they're opening that screen. And they were looking at that picture and their subconscious mind was drinking in and their belief was I'm getting that. What did I just say earlier? Moses that God names I am. And most of Jesus said, whatever he asking in God's name is granted. I am getting. Means you're manifesting it or creating it into your experience. So that's the thought that's going out and creating. I just remember as well, but I did a lot of that one when I was studying my CPA and stuff like putting, like, I'm going to be a CPA, but you know, these things, sometimes we know it, but it's just, we forget like us human beings. We forget to, do these things. So, now it comes to mind that you are currently keynote speaker and you have corporate action hero. How was the transition. And why do you think that it's important for you to impart the message especially in corporate settings? Well, I, that's a great question because first of all, the transition was interesting. What happened was, as I was doing my comedy show all over the world and I found that I was enjoying the time after the show more than I was the time on the stage, because I was out in the audience and I was helping people break past their limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. I still have letters from people today who told me I saved their marriages and I did all these, it wasn't me that saved them. I just gave them the tools to do what they needed to do. Right. And get to find their own f but I still get letters from people telling me that, wow, that was amazing. So I said, well, I got to find a way. To be able to do that because that really fed my soul, but I also wanted to still crack whips and do numb chucks and do comedy and do all kinds of fun, things like that too. And then I started looking at the corporate world and in the corporate world, it's a very unique place because in the corporate world, they're very straight laced and they don't talk spirituality or metaphysics or any of that stuff. It's very, we are this that way. And what's really interesting is I find that in the corporate world, a lot of people feel very repressed fear, very held back. And I thought, well, I don't want to go talk to the people who were already empowered. I want to go find the people that are. Really disempowered and I want to empower them. And I said, well, the greatest place to do that is in corporations. Right. Go to corporations and empower them people. So I started, creating these corporate speeches and when I first started, I tried to mold myself to the corporate world. And I very quickly discovered that I didn't get any work when I stopped molding myself to the corporate world and went in there as my authentic self and did the whips and the numb chucks and all the crazy stuff that I do with the stuff I got work like crazy.  show and people would comment, oh my God. Oh, my God, you've changed my life. I'm doing so many, you know, I'm going to go do this right now. They get all excited. And I, you know, I get emails and people all over the world. One of the things I do in my, main corporate speech, I find the most timid person I can find in my audience. I bring them to the stage and an under five minutes. And then they will just do like this.. They're terrified. Right? Well, that's a great, great, cause what happens? They come to the stage. They're terrified. First thing I do is I smile at him and I say, thank you so much for helping me. So what have I just thought I've just engaged their purpose. They're there to help me not to be embarrassed or so just taking them out of there, out of that one fear response. The next thing is I turn to the audience and I say, isn't she a rockstar? And the audience cheers for her now, what was her biggest fear? But the audience wouldn't like her or that she'd do something stupid in front of the audience. But if I get the audience to tell them, they love her. That knocks the fear right out. So I did that. Right. So then the next thing I do is I start talking about fishing and we just talk about fishing for a little while. And I say, have you ever cast a fishing rod? And she says no. Or yes, doesn't really matter what she says. I said, well, today I'm going to teach you the best way to cast a fishing rod. And she's okay. And I pull out a whip  and now she's freaking out. Cause I have a bull with him, my hand. So I know that her new fear is the whip. So I say to her, we're just, we're just using the whip as a fishing rod. It's the same motion. Don't worry about it. So I negate her belief about the whip. I take that out of the equation then before she can think about the fact that she's holding a whip in her hand, I got a whole section of the audience to make a fish face. It looks like this. But I say, and now what I want you to do is I want you to choose which fish. Cast your fishing rod. And what happens is she cast a fishing rod and the whip cracks. It literally cracks really loud because it's the same motion. Right? I said, that was great catching other fish as she cracks it again, I get her to crack it for three times. Then I reach into my bag and I pulled out a target. And it's basically all it is. It's a pretzel rod. About a nine inch pretzel. And I hold it in my hand, I hold it in my hand. Now her new fear is what hurting me. I look her in the eyes. I said, did you hear it crack? And she says, yes, I heard a crack said, so you already know how to make it crack. Don't worry about that. And so basically what I just did was I just told her that she doesn't have to learn it anymore. She now knows it. I changed her timeline from learning to knowledge, just with a sentence. The next thing I did was. All I want you to do is look right here and cast a fishing rod. That's all I want you to do. Don't worry about it. And then I see the little apprehension I say, and I promise you're not going to hurt me. Cause her biggest fear is hurting me and you can see her literally go, okay. She literally exhales, And then she cast a fishing rod and she hits the target without hitting me every time. your fear is the thing that will always limit you from achievement. And if you can manage your fear response and, your belief about your moment, she could have easily stayed in the belief that she was still learning the wip. But she took the fact if she believed me that she already knew how right. So it was me manipulating her belief and me managing her fear. But she was the one who actually turned her brain off to her fears off and got to that space. So it kind of proves the point, what happens is after that, that moment. So basically let me just go back. All of that happens in five minutes. So in five minutes, she goes up on stage, embarrassed, learns how to crack a whip and takes the target out of my hand in five minutes. I mean, that's amazing really in the whip world, that's an expert skill. So, she has just had a life-changing moment because as I said earlier, she was the most timid person I could find. Right. She has just walked on stage and crack targets out of a guy's hand. And her audience is yelling that she's a rock star or an action hero. They're screaming for your woooooh! They're freaking out for her. She's just had a life-changing moment. Now, everybody in the audience who knows her and knows how timid she is, has just said, oh my God, I can't believe she did it. So now I've changed the audience too. See if she can do it, I can do it. So that's really kind of the way that works. And so I go into corporations and I know I don't wear the tights that I wear before. I learned that after the third speech, I should stop wearing the tights.  But yeah, I, love with a passion. What I do right now. It's so amazing because I still do whips and numb chucks in comedy and, I do still do all that stuff, but I'm changing lives on a regular basis. it's amazing, John, and Thank you for the work that you do.  I often wonder if, the big metaphysical healers, Jesus and all those, if instead of being healers, were they just really good? Convincers. No really just convincing people of their healing, convincing, people to take their beliefs, because he, Jesus says, it's your faith that heals you. Right? And so that to me is an interesting concept because if you can convince that's all I do on stage with that woman is I convinced her that she learned a skill. I convinced her she's not going to hurt me. That's all that really is, is just convincing someone. I was one time speaking at a, at an event in Canton, Ohio, just south of my house here. And after I spoke, several people wanted to have private consultations with me. And so they put me up in. This very weird little room in a balcony. And so people would come up the stairs to where it was. I mean, sit and we'd talk and I'd try to break them out of their, their fears and get them moving forward. And this woman came up the stairs with two people, helping her on either side and her using two canes. Right. And I sat there and I talked with her for awhile. And at the end of our talk, I walked her back out to her car. When she got to her car, she realized she forgot her canes without the help of two people. You can, you can take whatever belief you want and it will manifest into your experience. I could have easily said that I am paralyzed. And I would be paralyzed today. More on the show.   So there are a universal truth, within all of it. And then when you really delve into Christianity, that's not mired down by the various disciplines of it. We define our, creation because if, as I said earlier, if, if everything's pure energy and you hold your hand up and you look at your hand, your hand is pure energy, but here's the weird part. The eyes that you're looking at that hand with are pure energy and the air in between your eyes and that hand is pure energy. So the only thing you really are is your thoughts. And that's what got me out of the bed. Is that weird? Is that esoterically weird or what? It it's weird, but makes sense now, but not really weird, you know, Einstein, said, when you look at the smallest parts and you see how organized it is, he says there's gotta be some consciousness behind. So Einstein used to say he believed in what he says. I believe in the God of Spinoza is what he used to say. the God of Spinoza. Spinoza was a scientist who believed that there was a larger consciousness, but he didn't believe in a big bearded man on a cloud. he didn't believe in that sort of thing. He that's what he believed in, in a larger energetic consciousness. And Einstein believed in the God who was what he called the God of Spinoza. And he believed that there was some, higher intelligence now in Hinduism, they talk about, you being the center of a, wagon wheel and each spoke is a different lifetime. So they believe in reincarnation, right? the outer rim of that wheel is the higher consciousness that connects all the lives together. Right. So it's really interesting because you talk to them, you talk to the people who've had past life regressions and things of that nature. They describe going into something and experiencing that lifetime when they get hypnotized. So, but on the outer circle is this consciousness that knows everything that happened in that person's life in the, in Hinduism So if that's, if that's the case, then, then our thoughts that are here now might be connected to this outer ring, which is a larger consciousness. if that's the case, then maybe, maybe it is organized that way. I'm not vain enough to say that that's what it is. I'm pretty much agnostic. I look at everything as a, I don't know, but I find it fascinating. This study. Yeah, it is. it's a good point then, me, I grew up in. Very conservative Catholic family, but after some time, like I kind of not only limit my beliefs in that realm, I guess and I'm, very much of the thinking about the energy and it really makes sense to me, especially faith healing or something, like about the energy and stuff. I think it's just because of that, but that's just, my belief on that. I know you're saying the same thing I'm saying, because you know, a quote unquote face healer, if you think about the first word of that faith, right? The people who were healed by them put, put faith in their healing through them. It doesn't matter who they are. So they're, they're believing, they're healed because of that. And so it's their belief that healed them. And a lot of times the quote unquote, faith healers are really just shysters, but just, they're just making a living, making money off of other people's faith. Because the reality it is, like I said earlier, they're probably just really good convincers But with the convincers there are people who are good at convincing and some people need those people to remind them, cause there are people maybe they just need someone to tell them, they don't feel like they have the power within themselves, so they have to go somewhere else to put faith in something outside of themselves. And it's interesting because I too was raised Catholic and my mom had her master's degree in Liturgy. And she was actually head of liturgical doctrine at our church, which means that when the priest wanted to do a sermon, he had to pass it by my mom. She could say, oh yeah, that, that is in alignment with what we believe. That's exactly what happened at the church. Well, when I turned 18, my mom said to me, she says, John spirituality is a personal journey and you have to come to your own beliefs. I hope you'll come back to Catholicism, but you need to come to your own beliefs. And then that's what made me go off and study. And what I found really interesting when I studied was I found truth in all of it. And I found junk in all of it, right? Oh, I found guilt and dogma and all these, know, ceremonies and dah, dah, dah. But then when you started looking there, there there's kindness and love and all. Right. The there's the prophet Muhammad says he who knows not kindness has no faith. and, Islam gets such a bad r but the people who gave it the bad rap are doing horrific, non peaceful things. And Islam means peace and Muslim means I'm a follower of peace. So for them to attack a building or do a terrorist act, they're not Muslim. Right. So that to me is a very interesting thing. I gave you that litany of thought quotes earlier in those thought quotes, I, mentioned Buddhism Hinduism Christianity, And then I also mentioned Einstein and then Edgar Mitchell's Nordic science and the thought patterns being. So there are a universal truth, within all of it. So I think it's a matter of looking at the truth. And then when you really delve into Christianity, that's not mired down by the various disciplines of it. When you, when you travel through India, you're going to hear people talk about the prophet ISA all the time. and then they start telling you, well, he was here and he, and they tell you that the path that he walked and the things that he did all through India, and then you find out who the, so what happened to ISA? Well, he went back to his country and was crucified. he literally was Jesus in between the time he was a child and he was 30, but he's not in the Bible. They know where he was in India. Which is fascinating. So , before we wrap up what is the difference between an action hero and a support hero? That's a great question. Great question. An action hero is an ordinary individual who creates an extraordinary result. Now the word action means create motion, start momentum, or to do something. The word hero is someone who achieves extraordinary results in service of others. A superhero. Is someone who wears their underwear on the outside of their pants were radiated by some sort of goo and probably have super powers, which means if they're doing super things, that means they're really not getting out of their box. They're really kind of slackers because you know, if you have super powers and do super things, you're really not doing much. Ah, I love it. So if you were to star in an action movie that has been released in the past, or maybe you can make up your own movie, what movie would it be? What movie would it be? Well, I would love to have been in princess bride, but I would have loved to have been Wesley, but I built more like Fezzik giant. I would love to have been the sword fighter guy because sword fighting is a passion of mine. And so if you give me a chance to do that, if I was going to be a superhero movie, they would cast me as the Hulk, but I would really want to be captain America because first of all, I'm very old fashioned kind of person. But the second of all, I like the integrity of that character. it really says a lot about the person Yeah. what he embodies, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, even when he became captain America, they said, you know, good gets better. And so they chose best person they could find, and they gave him the serum and they become a great person. That's what I would hope I would embody in my life. And I really hope that I'm like a boat going down through a river, leaving a positive wake behind me. Great. And one last question. So if you were to make a grand entrance to a room, what would be your theme song? Crack that whip Debo I would come on stage and I would start cracking whips, like crazy. Okay, great. That was fun. So John, where can our Zesties find you easiest place to find me is CorporateActionHero.com. You can find all kinds of interesting stuff on there. If you want my five F workbook, it's a free gift. And that means free means you don't even have to give me an email address or nothing. You just go to CorporateActionHero.com/gift. And you have to go to that link. Cause you're not going to find it on the web. That's a direct link that you have to go to. If you want daily motivation, go to corporate action here on YouTube. I put out a video every morning and I have done so for the past four years. So there's a lot of motivational, a couple of two to three minutes, a piece probably sometimes nine, eight or nine minutes, but usually two to three minutes every day, you'll get just a little something. And I just released a workbook on effective communication. And so if you're looking for ways to communicate better and, and to not elicit fears and in your communications, that's available on my website and on August 1st, I'm releasing a full online course on it's called the interaction hero self-confidence course. And it's all about building your self-confidence and getting out of your way right now. It's it's on pre-sale it releases August 1st. If you buy it on presale, you get 50 bucks off the price. And on August 1st, you, get all the money. Oh, great. Looking forward to that, John. I think I really need that one. I don't think so. I think, I think you've got great confidence. Okay. Thank you. I had the interview with John. We actually had a lot of distractions as there were some personal stuff that needed to be sorted out, back in the Philippines. So I keep getting calls during the interview. He gave me personal advice, but I thought I'd still shared with you Zesties as it's very insightful. when people are contacting you, you gotta remember they're living their experience. You don't have to take their experiences yours. Okay. Because they're going to a lot of throws things on top of you and put a lot of responsibility on you. That's their choice to try to do that. Right? You can only do what you can, you can only do what you do. But the other thing you can do is you can also think about it this way. They're doing the best they can with what they know. Right. And like my father was an abuser and a horrible person. But when I finally broke past that, it was because I said he did the best he could with what he knew. Cause he, his father was an alcoholic and a drug abuser. So the experiences of their life, I don't have to take on and repeat. Anybody else's junk. So that's just for you. Great. Thank you. Thank you, John. Okay. Remember to exhale, to exhale. All right. Yeah. Thank you. What do you think of this week's episode? This pandemic alone added a lot of anxiety and worry alongside my other worries in life. Having some kind of outlet, may it be people, things, and most of all, faith does keep us grounded. So I hope you Zesties have gained some insights on this week's episode. If you have some episode suggestions, please send them through to gleefultalkshow@gmail.com. Please subscribe and rate the podcast wherever you listen to your podcast or follow us at Instagram, Twitter and YouTube if you'd like to buy me a cup of coffee or two, please head down to the episode notes to find out how. And this episode is recorded via Riverside.FM . If you're a podcaster or content creator, and we'd like to try it out. I've got an affiliate link on the episode notes below and key in Mediaboard25 to get 25% discount on your first three months of subscription.  

'R' is everywhere. And, unfortunately, the 'R' sound in American English is different from the equivalent sound in French, Spanish, German and for all I know, every other language.So here is a quick conversation to help you practice this tricky sound. Listen a few times first and then repeat as directed.Hi John. Is something the matter?There sure is. A ferret tried to get my rabbit.I didn't know you had a rabbit.He was a present from my mother. His name is Roger.Well I hope Roger's had his rabies shot.  [I hope Roger has had][Of] course! We treat him like a prince.How did Roger escape the ferret?I ran out of the house in the nick of time and the ferret ran away.Roger lucked out!You got that right. A few more seconds and he woulda been deader 'n a doornail. [he would have been deader than a doornail.]***************************************"In the nick of time" means "just in time."Intro & Outro Music: La Pompe Du Trompe by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com

We have another great podcast here. This episode of Past the Wire's Gate to Wire podcast brought to you by Spendthrift Farm is a must listen. On this show agent Ronnie Ebanks joins Jonathan Stettin and Jeff Metz for a frank and candid discussion on trainer John Sadler’s late decision to replace Santa Anita Derby winning rider Umberto Rispoli for Joel Rosario aboard Rock Your World in the Kentucky Derby.Rosario became available after trainer Bob Baffert decided not to run Concert Tour who Rosario was scheduled to ride. Jockeys in the United States for the most part ride without contracts. It is usually a handshake type of thing which depending on which side of the fence you sit, can mean it is a strong commitment or no commitment at all. The conversation gets interesting and offers differing perspectives on business decisions and loyalty.We did invite John Sadler onto the show. He never answered us. We also invited owner Kosta Hronis who did answer and say while he enjoys the show, it was John’s decision and he did not want to discuss someone else’s decision. He also offered that through the years of having horses with John he has never provided any input on riders.Our invitation:“Hi John, this is John Stettin from Past the Wire. I reached out to Kosta as well. I’d like to invite one or both of you onto the YouTube show I host with Jeff Metz who I’m sure you know. While I don’t agree with the decision about Umberto and Joel I certainly respect your right to make it. I think it would be great for the fans and the sport and the transparency we need to talk about what goes into a decision like this and I think it can go very well. Thank you in advance for considering it.”No reply…….

When encouragement from others is lacking, we can encourage ourself by observing others, then ask God to help us to be like the people we admire. Hello everyone and welcome to today’s show, episode 90.  Do you remember the last time someone encouraged you and how good that felt? Do you remember how it motivated you to keep doing whatever it was that prompted another person to take notice of what you did and tell you about it? Hopefully, it wasn’t too long ago. But for some of us, encouragement from others is as rare as your child asking for more vegetables at dinner. We may not even remember the last time it happened. What are we to do then? Keep listening as today’s show is about how we can encourage ourself when we don’t get it from other people. In last week’s program, episode 89, “How to Be a Better Observer of People,” we talked about the ORA principle of deepening relationships. Observing. Remembering. Asking. We focused specifically on observing. Today I want to talk about another benefit of being a keen observer of people. Besides helping us to understand others and relate with them more deeply, observing others and how they move through life is a great way for us to encourage ourself. I’ve got a number of examples I want to share with you today of how I was encouraged by listener responses to recent episodes of the podcast. As you hear excerpts from what your fellow listeners have to say, I think you will be encouraged too. The Christmas Story The first one comes from a listener in Pennsylvania who wrote in response to episode 84 "The Christmas Story", on December 25th. This morning, I listened to your Christmas Day podcast gift....matter of fact, I listened to it twice. Thank you. The choice of passage really spoke to me and helped put me into a better frame of mind for this season. Thank you for this gift. This listener’s response encouraged me to think about how I can change my frame of mind when it needs changing. I don’t have to stay stuck. I can do what he did, namely, listen to or read a passage of scripture, maybe even twice like he did. This encourages me. I hope it encourages you. Finding Joy at the end of 2020 The second listener response was to episode 85, "Finding Joy at the End of 2020", on Dec. 30th. It’s from Marcy, a missionary serving in Brazil who wrote: I can certainly identify with “joy along with sadness” this Christmas holiday season. I really appreciated your emphasis on choosing to have joy even while not minimizing so many who also experience pain during the holidays. As children of God we are “created in His image “ -which gives us the power to choose. Yes -“power” because we are not victims of our pain, nor our circumstances, no matter how challenging. We can turn to God. His “mercies are new every morning. Thank you for your message of HOPE. Observing how Marcy can find joy even in the middle of sadness encourages me. She says we don’t have to live like victims, because we can turn to God when bad stuff happens to us. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes like playing the victim card. Because when I’m a victim, nothing is my fault and I don’t have to change. Nothing is required of me. Her comments encourage me to realize I don’t have to feel like a victim. That I can choose to turn to God for help when things don’t go my way. And you know, you can, too. Live out a theme for yourself for the rest of 2021 Then there’s the note I got in the mail on January 2nd from Randy, a listener in Pittsburgh. He wrote I am so glad you are doing this podcast …it’s an ongoing encouragement in how to care for and love others. In my daily devotional that I read from John Eldridge, I was encouraged to ask God for a theme to live out 2021….within minutes I looked at our Christmas tree and saw the wood ornament “Hope.”…the only large letter ornament on our tree…It’s God’s gift of encouragement to be hopeful in the coming year and to live with hope…seems well-suited for me in 2021! Noticing how Randy picked a theme to live out this year, encourages me to do the same. It's an example of how we can encourage ourself by observing how others view life.  Randy selected “living with hope this year.” Hmmn. I think I’ll pick, “Look for the joy.” I’d like to be a little more like Randy. How about you? Is there a theme you can live out in 2021? Second-hand praise Speaking of joy, Linda from North Carolina responded to episode 86, "How to Begin the Year with Joy," on January 6th. She wrote: It’s amazing to me how important we are in each others’ lives. We can actually sustain someone through our written words of encouragement, through our voice in a song or poem, through a fresh-baked pie or pot of soup, through our prayers on their behalf. I’m excited to trust our All-Creator God to help me be alert in this new year to sustain others in creative, simple ways. I think you could do a whole session, John on passing on 2nd hand praise. I recently wrote a couple in my daughter and son in law’s church who have been so supportive to them in the home going of my daughter’s mother in law. Throughout our Christmas time together, my daughter shared several ways they’d been helped by this couple. So yesterday I wrote them myself thanking them for the way they had encouraged my kids by their kindness. We never know how a small seed of appreciation, passed on in that way can bear much fruit. All it takes is keen ears to catch it initially and then diligence to follow through letting the first person know the impact of their thoughtfulness. I love being that kind of link, don’t you? Linda’s comments really encouraged me to do what she does, All it takes is keen ears to catch it [the kindness of others] initially and then diligence to follow through letting the first person know the impact of their thoughtfulness. What a great way to make a difference in the world. Observing how Linda lives life encourages me to be a little more like her. Her comments show me we can encourage ourself by observing others. This will work for you, too. Stepping into people’s lives Another person I’m encouraged to be more like is Josephine, the missionary from Eastern Europe I interviewed in episode 83, "The Best Christmas Gift - Be with People in Community," right before Christmas on December 23rd. She’s also a listener to the podcast and wrote to thank me for having her on the show, and then said that the episode ...caused me to reflect even more on a key element of the Christmas story- Jesus stepping into our world as the light of the world, just as I, on an incomparable smaller scale, stepped into theirs [i.e., those musicians she mentioned she developed a relationship with who honored her by wanting to know about the real Christmas story] and was able to share pieces of truth with them. May he in his grace help us to be open, bold, and sensitive to opportunities like this! If you missed that episode, find the time to go back and listen to it. I’ll have a link to it in the show notes, no. 83 on December 23, 2020, “The Best Christmas Gift - Be with People in Community.“ Hearing how Josephine is still reflecting on the Christmas story and how it motivates her to be open, bold, and sensitive to opportunities to enter into the lives of others, encourages me to do the same. I need to be a little more like Josephine. Does observing how Josephine lives encourage you? Carol thinks we need to have her back on the podcast. I agree! A different kind of New Year's resolution Finally, I have two other responses from listeners about episode 087, "Make it a Relational New Year’s Resolution" from January 13th. Jennifer, from South Carolina, wrote I loved your thank you note goal idea for 2021! I will work on this… And this from Libby, another listener: Hi John, I loved your idea about collecting "Thank You" notes, but I really like the idea of remembering to do things for others that will prompt the response. I also appreciated your podcasts about joy. I needed them. Remember the “Thank you note” idea? Do something for people that causes them to write you a thank you note. See how many you can get this year. Noticing how these two listeners reacted to that idea encourages me to be even more intentional about it myself. And I’m glad they got the point, that it’s not the thank you note itself that’s the goal, it’s doing something so meaningful that it motivates someone to express their appreciation in writing. That’s the point. I’m encouraged to follow Jennifer and Libby’s lead because I know it will bring out the best in me. It will do the same for you, too. If you forget everything else, here’s the one thing I hope you remember from today’s episode. When encouragement from others is hard to come by, we can encourage ourself by observing others. And then ask God to help us be more like the people we watch and admire. Here are a few ideas for how we can apply today's episode to our own relationships? Look around and start watching for people who display virtue in how they think and behave. People close to you, as well as complete strangers. What qualities do you admire in them? Which of their virtues would you like to take on as your own? It starts by observing. Look for the good people. The kind people. Take notice of others like those mentioned in today’s episode. You can be like them. You really can. But you can’t do it on your own. You need God’s help. Ask Jesus to show you how you can be more like the people you respect and admire. Then you will become more the person God intends for you to be. You were made for this. As always, another thing you could do is let me and your fellow listeners know what resonated with you about today’s episode. Just like those you heard about today. It’s bound to encourage others. You can put your thoughts in an email and send them to me, john@caringforothers.org. Or you can share your thoughts in the “Leave a Reply” box at the bottom of the show notes. Closing I hope your thinking was stimulated by today’s show, to both reflect and to act. So that you will find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This. That’s all for today. See you next week. Goodbye for now. You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We depend upon the generosity of donors to pay our bills.  If you'd like to support what we do with a secure tax-deductible donation, please click here. We'd be so grateful if you did.

A Salut John, tu es prêt ? Hi John, are you ready? J Adonde vamos? (Where are we going?) A nous allons au magasin de chaussures We are going to the shoe store J Perfecto! Necesito un par de tenis nuevos. (Perfect! I need a new pair of tennis shoes.) A Il commence à faire froid, et je voudrais trouver une nouvelle paire de bottes It is starting to get cold, and I would like to find a new pair of boots. J Veo botas allá en el pasillo siguiente. (I see boots over there in the next aisle) A J’aime commencer mes achats dans la section des soldes. J’adore trouver de bonnes affaires! I like to start shopping in the sale section. I love to find good deals! A Les sandales sont en solde. The sandals are on sale. J Porque hace frío y la gente prefiere ponerse zapatos que abriguen Because it is cold and people prefer to wear warm shoes. A C’est pour ça que je veux acheter des bottes. That’s why I want to buy boots. J ¡Mira estos! ¿Te gustan? Look at these! Do you like them? A Elles sont jolies, mais c’est pas mon style. Je veux qu’elles montent jusqu’au genou, et qu’elles aient un talon. They’re pretty, but it’s not my style. I would like them to go up to the knee, and I like a good heel. J Bien punto. Te gustan estas botas de cuero? ¡Las acaban de sacar al mercado! (Good point. Do you like these leather boots?They just came out!) A Elles viennent de sortir? J’aime la boucle à l’extérieur et la fermeture éclair à l’intérieur. They just came out? I love the buckle on the outside and the zipper on the inside. J ¿Cuanto cuestan? How much are they? A Combien elles coûtent ? Je ne sais pas. Regarde sur la boîte. How much they are? I don’t know. Look on the box. J El precio es $90. The price is $90. A Elles font 90 $ ? Voyons s’ils ont ma taille. They cost $90? Let’s see if they have my size. J ¿Cuál es tu talla de zapato? What is your shoe size? A Ma pointure est de 8 et demie aux Etats-Unis. Quelle est la tienne ? My shoe size is 8.5 in America. What is yours? J La mia es 10 y media acá en los Estados Unidos. (Well, mine is 10 and a half here in the US.) A J’ai assez d’argent sur moi. Je vais à la caisse pour payer. I have enough money on me. I’m going to pay at the cash register. J: Bueno pues, voy a empezar a buscar mis tenis. (Alright, I will start looking for my tennis shoes.) À la prochaine ¡Hasta la próxima! Our email : SpeakFrenchandSpanish@gmail.com Like us on Facebook! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/french4spanish/message

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 77. Before we begin, I need to let you know of 2 computer glitches affecting the podcast, both of which have been fixed. 1.) Prior episodes were only playing the most current episode. 2) You couldn’t leave a comment in the “Leave a Reply” box at the bottom of the show notes. Thanks to listeners who pointed out these two problems, which have now been corrected! On to today’s episode. Every now and then, many of us in our more reflective moods will wonder if how we are living really makes a difference. Are we impacting the world in any meaningful way? To answer this question, I’m here today to tell you that it’s easier than you think to impact the world. I will give you several examples in today’s show, using listener feedback to 2 recent episodes of You Were Made for This. So please listen in. We’ll start with several listener responses to episodes 71 and 72. Both were about how to help a grieving friend. I shared the story of my friend Martin whose wife died unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm, and what I learned about caring for a friend suffering such a deep and profound loss. Responses to episodes 71 and 72 Dear John, Listening to your podcast and reflecting on my own experience trying to help those who are grieving, I have seen where stepping out of our own comfort zone is often used by God to comfort others. It’s not easy, and it is a mystery how God uses our puny attempts for His purposes. Thanks for helping us think and ponder on these relationship issues. ~ A grateful listener This listener is impacting the world by doing something that doesn’t come naturally to her, for the sake of other people. She’s making a difference in the world by aligning her purposes with God’s purposes. And what can be more impactful than that? You can tell she is speaking from experience, and I wonder if she appreciates what a contribution she is making. I’ll read it one more time. From a listener in New York From Donna, a listener in New York, who was a friend to Martin and his wife from years ago: Hello, John, Today, I had some free time, and decided to catch up on your last three podcasts. I was shocked and heartbroken as I heard you recount the sudden death of Suzanne Karrer. I remember her and Martin well… Your story of Martin’s grief and Serena’s letter really touched me. I had been thinking of them recently and wondered where they were and what they were doing. I didn’t know they had left China, and only remembered Serena as a little pre-schooler. Do you think that Martin would mind if you shared his address with me? I would like to send him a card. He may not remember us, but I would still like to reach out to him.  I did give her Martin’s contact information and I know he appreciated hearing from Donna. She impacted the world by moving past her own grief and shock to let Martin know she cared and felt his loss. What a tender heart Donna displayed. The world needs more tenderness and Donna sprinkled a little of it on top of Martin’s grief and sorrow. What a great and sweet way to make a difference in the world: sprinkling a little tenderness around. From a listener who lost his mother From Chris: The story of Martin’s loss of his wife Suzanne came on the heels of a major loss in his own life. He writes: My own mother died eight days ago at the age of 89. She lived a good life, was a very good mother and a very good friend. And she was a great listener. She made each of her six children feel like they were her favorite. She was at peace until the last few days of difficult decline. I didn’t start grieving until 5 days later, at the funeral, when I walked in and saw her body for the first time in her casket. I really appreciated the lessons today John! So I will arm myself with a few new things learned and perhaps it is time to make sure I can be there for dad as his time of grief and loneliness, which will likely endure significantly. Chris is impacting the world by being there for his dad in his grief, even as Chris himself grieves. It’s an act of selflessness like this that makes the world a better place. From a listener who lost her husband From Gina. She lost her husband in a tragic death a number of years ago. Here is how she responded to episodes Episodes 71 and 72: Hi John, Really enjoyed this. Grieving is so complex… One thing I know for sure, LOVE is eternal. Suzanne and Martin’s love will never die and God has an amazing way of keeping us connected with our beloved.  Martin and his daughter are in a very sacred space right now....somehow straddling two universes.... And with time and a little perspective, there can be joy in suffering. A very strange, upside down way of looking at grief....this life is truly a blip in the span of eternity. It took me a long time to get to this place and I didn’t think I’d survive the pain of grieving....but God is good, God rescues. He rescued me. Prayers for all of you. My deepest sympathies. Suzanne’s smile is breathtaking. A widow impacts the world for good Gina is impacting the world for good by sharing what she learned about God through her own grief. She is giving hope to Martin and people like him by painting a picture of what life will someday be like for him. Let me read her tender words again. I shared Gina’s response with Martin and he wrote back to me, “So true what she says about pain, “I never thought I would survive the pain of grieving.” If you forget everything else, here’s the one thing I hope you remember from today’s episode. To Impact the world is easier than you think when you reach out to connect with others in the midst of their struggles, even when you are struggling with the same things yourself. Here’s what we can all do in response to today’s program. We can follow the example of “Grateful Listener” and step out of our comfort zone, knowing that’s what God often uses to comfort others. That will impact the world. We can be like Donna who opened her heart to the pain of another person, and respond in tenderness by connecting with them. That will impact the world. We can be like Chris, and even in the midst of our own grief, seek to enter into the grief of another to care for them, even when we need care ourselves. That will certainly impact the world for good. And you can try this Lastly, we can be like Gina, who shared from the depth of her heart to give people hope from God in the midst of their unspeakable sorrow. Unspeakable sorrow she herself experienced. Giving people this kind of hope certainly impacts the world for good. Finally, listen again to episodes 71 and 72, or listen to them for the first time if you’re a new listener to the podcast. As always, you could let me and your fellow listeners know what resonated with you about today’s episode. You can share your thoughts in the “Leave a Reply” box at the bottom of the show notes. Or you can send them to me in an email to john@caringforothers.org. Closing I hope your thinking was stimulated by today’s show, to both reflect and to act in similar ways to the four listeners described in today’s episode. In doing so, you will find the joy God intends for you through your relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This. Our Relationship Quote of the Week “Be the person who breaks the cycle. If you were judged, choose understanding. If you were rejected, choose acceptance. And if you were shamed, choose compassion. Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you. Vow to be better than what broke you— to heal instead of becoming bitter so you can act from your heart, not your pain.”       ~ Lori Deschene That’s all for today. See you next week. Goodbye for now. You Were Made for This is sponsored by Caring for Others, a missionary care ministry. We depend upon the generosity of donors to pay our bills.  If you'd like to support what we do with a secure tax-deductible donation, please click here. We'd be so grateful if you did.

Download MP3 今やネットは情報収集に不可欠なツールですが、ネット上の情報をすべて鵜呑みにするのも考えもの。そんな信じやすい人が、例えば体の具合が悪い時、自分の症状とよく似た病気をネットで発見したら…。今回の会話では、お医者さんに自分の症状を伝える時に役立つ表現が満載です。 　 *** It's a Good Expression *** （今回の重要表現） pneumonia 肺炎 symptom 症状 coincide 一致する stuffy nose 鼻づまり reddish 赤らんでいる hastily 軽率に、拙速に be allergic to 〜にアレルギーがある (=have an allergy to) stick a lot of memo stickers around your house たくさん付箋にメモしておいて家中に貼っておきなさい *** Script *** Can We Trust Things Written on Internet? M: Hello, Dr. Igarashi? It’s John again. Sorry for calling so late at night. W: Oh... Hi John. No problem. What happened this time? M: I think... I… I think I have pneumonia. W: Pneumonia? Um… and why do you think so? M: Well, I googled it and all of the symptoms coincided. I’m really scared! W: Oh, you googled it, hey? M: Yes, and I’m afraid that I’m seriously ill. W: So, what symptoms do you have? M: I seem to have a headache, a sore throat, a stuffy nose and chest pains. Also it’s really hard to breathe. W: Oh, I see... M: And, I think I have a fever. My face is reddish, and my head is burning. W: Oh, that’s not good... I need to examine you. Could you come to my clinic tomorrow? M: Oh, oh, Doctor... According to the Google search it’s the last stage of my disease. I don’t have any more time to live! I need your help right now! W: John… calm down. You know you shouldn’t trust the results of a Google search so hastily. You’d better have a doctor’s examination first. M: But it’s getting worse and worse!! W: Hmm... Let me think. I need to check your medical record. (Pause) John, what did you eat during the last two hours? M: Um… nothing special, just rice with chicken… and a lot of cashew nuts, macadamia cream cake, and of course caramel and nut coffee. W: Oh, now it’s clear... M: Is something wrong? W: John... (Pause) I’ve told you a thousand times NOT to eat nuts. YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO THEM!! M: Oh... But Google said... W: Forget about Google! I’ll give you some medicine for the allergy tomorrow. M: OK, Dr. Igarashi. W: And stick a lot of memo stickers around your house, saying: “I have an allergy to nuts!” And, DON’T believe everything you read on Internet! (Written by Ksenia Maximova)

Download MP3 今やネットは情報収集に不可欠なツールですが、ネット上の情報をすべて鵜呑みにするのも考えもの。そんな信じやすい人が、例えば体の具合が悪い時、自分の症状とよく似た病気をネットで発見したら…。今回の会話では、お医者さんに自分の症状を伝える時に役立つ表現が満載です。 　 *** It's a Good Expression *** （今回の重要表現） pneumonia 肺炎 symptom 症状 coincide 一致する stuffy nose 鼻づまり reddish 赤らんでいる hastily 軽率に、拙速に be allergic to 〜にアレルギーがある (=have an allergy to) stick a lot of memo stickers around your house たくさん付箋にメモしておいて家中に貼っておきなさい *** Script *** Can We Trust Things Written on Internet? M: Hello, Dr. Igarashi? It’s John again. Sorry for calling so late at night. W: Oh... Hi John. No problem. What happened this time? M: I think... I… I think I have pneumonia. W: Pneumonia? Um… and why do you think so? M: Well, I googled it and all of the symptoms coincided. I’m really scared! W: Oh, you googled it, hey? M: Yes, and I’m afraid that I’m seriously ill. W: So, what symptoms do you have? M: I seem to have a headache, a sore throat, a stuffy nose and chest pains. Also it’s really hard to breathe. W: Oh, I see... M: And, I think I have a fever. My face is reddish, and my head is burning. W: Oh, that’s not good... I need to examine you. Could you come to my clinic tomorrow? M: Oh, oh, Doctor... According to the Google search it’s the last stage of my disease. I don’t have any more time to live! I need your help right now! W: John… calm down. You know you shouldn’t trust the results of a Google search so hastily. You’d better have a doctor’s examination first. M: But it’s getting worse and worse!! W: Hmm... Let me think. I need to check your medical record. (Pause) John, what did you eat during the last two hours? M: Um… nothing special, just rice with chicken… and a lot of cashew nuts, macadamia cream cake, and of course caramel and nut coffee. W: Oh, now it’s clear... M: Is something wrong? W: John... (Pause) I’ve told you a thousand times NOT to eat nuts. YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO THEM!! M: Oh... But Google said... W: Forget about Google! I’ll give you some medicine for the allergy tomorrow. M: OK, Dr. Igarashi. W: And stick a lot of memo stickers around your house, saying: “I have an allergy to nuts!” And, DON’T believe everything you read on Internet! (Written by Ksenia Maximova)

Show Notes In last week’s episode 38, I shared listener responses to the question I raised in an earlier email to our listeners about the verse from Hebrews 10:24, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” My question was HOW do you do this, which elicited some great responses. Another one came in just the other day from a missionary I’ll share in just a minute. But more than that, over the past few months listeners have responded to other relationship issues, and today I want to share those with you. Going back to our first episode in November 2018, I mentioned that one of the reasons to listen to this podcast is that it’s intended to be a community for people of faith interested in transforming their relationships into the best they can be. The goal is to make the podcast format interactive, where we learn from each other, and where we support and encourage one another. To that end, I find that I am encouraged in dealing with my relationships when I see how other people are doing it. I’m guessing the same is true for you, too. So, to finish off that question of HOW do we motivate one another to acts of love and good works, here’s a response from Devri, a missionary who served in Turkey with her husband Dan for 28 years, and now for the last 6 in Cyprus. Here is what she said: “Dear John, “Dan and I have been working with a group of children, at one time 15, now just 6, due to people getting married and moving on.  When the children were turning up on our doorstep, we opened the door and embraced them.  We taught them how to shoot bows and arrows, how to swim, and how to make pizza! “There were many times it was exhausting work, but each time they came we taught them something more about living life in the light of God.  For example, when two children were being especially mean to each other, I took them into my room.  I asked them if they would be saying the things they were saying if they saw the father of the person they were being mean to.  Both said an emphatic "NO!" “From there it was easy to transition to the truth that whatever they said was in front of the One who made the person they were criticizing.  He made them, loved them, and did not enjoy seeing them spoken to so poorly.  When the two left the room they were quiet. “As we returned to the crowd of other children the brother of one of the children said, "Don't worry, we have it all planned.  We will have a group at school beat him up on Monday."  The girl's response to her brother was, "It has been dealt with." “Years have passed from that day.  The last day I saw that girl she said to me, "Don't worry, I remember the lessons you taught us:  Give thanks in all things; it is better to give than to receive; forgiveness frees the one who forgives, and Jesus is our Shepherd.”  This meant so much to me. “These words were spoken by a girl who had been raped by her father.  She was in a safe house and planning to leave it as soon as she turned 18.  I may never see her again, but I will not regret those days I opened my home and my heart to her and all the other friends that came pouring in. “The LORD has since opened a door for me to teach these same lessons to the children in an orphanage in a nearby city.  I now have 40 children to encourage to acts of love and good works! “And I am so grateful to you, John, for the words that encourage me to do better at loving those around me intentionally. Grateful, Devri” Last week the examples I shared of motivating others to love and good works were about reinforcing good behavior and attitudes we see in people. Devri’s comments today are about correcting bad behavior. There’s room for both in motivating others to love and good works. I’m struck by the level of trust that Devri and Dan developed with those kids. It started with “we opened the door and embraced them.  We taught them how to shoot bows and arrows, how to swim, and how to make pizza!” What they were doing was certainly sacrificial service to those kids She gave them a reason to love and do good works in a way they could understand at their developmental stage as children. She helped them connect the dots between their relationship with their peers, and their relationship with God. She helped them see that the antagonists in their life were deeply loved by God, and that since He loved them, they should too, at the level they were capable of at that age. I was also struck by the tender response of the girl to Devri who said, "Don't worry, I remember the lessons you taught us:  Give thanks in all things; it is better to give than to receive; forgiveness frees the one who forgives, and Jesus is our Shepherd.”  I can easily picture Devri’s eyes welling with tears over this affirmation of the profound impact she had on this girl. What valuable lessons this girl learned from Devri. In bringing out the best in this girl, Devri brought out the best in herself. Moving on, here are two in response to episode 32 that kicked off Season Two, “What am I Here for? What is my purpose in Life? “John, thank you for the wonderful podcast. I particularly enjoyed learning about Ben Franklin and the Junto Society. It may sound silly, but it gave ME a sense of hope knowing THAT he was someone instrumental in founding the place WE Call home. He sounds like someone who’s friendship I would have liked TO have. Looking forward to further episodes!” ~ Amy Ben Franklin not feeling the love in the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia, and moving to Boston upon returning from England at the age of 21. He didn’t know a soul and started the Junto Society, or “Leather Apron Club” as it was sometime called. It is reassuring at times to think about where we have come from as a nation and the people we have produced. Here’s the 2nd response to episode 32, Hi John, Thanks so much for starting up the podcast again..  This last one was really helpful. [This is in reference to the “I” in T.H.I.S. - Initiate] One thing that I tried with both of my parents and my grandmother was listening to them and trying to to find something that we were able to connect to which eventually became our thing.  It became a great blessing to me to find a common ground where we could develop a relationship of trust and fun as adults.  I miss some of that as all have passed to eternity. I appreciate so much your ability to succinctly say what I am sometimes doing.  It helps me label it.  Thank you that you are living out what you were made for.   ~ Cindy I love how Cindy initiated with people much older than she was - her parents and grandparents, and asked them questions to bond with them over something that became “our thing.” With two our grandsons here in town, “our thing” has become going to Chick-fil-A. At least for the moment. They’ll go at a drop of a hat. In a recent visit I commented to them both how much I appreciated how they often ask me questions. I encouraged them to do the same with their parents. Like Cindy, both of my parents are deceased, yet I still have questions that only they could answer. But they’re not here any more. I must confess, it gnaws at me sometime. I should have asked them more questions before it was too late. Next, here’s a text I received from Karen, a missionary, good friend, and listener to the podcast: “I have your podcast card on my counter so I see it every day. ‘At the end of the day, NOTHING MATTERS MORE than Relationships’. I get to MC our Golden Agers Day., I”m going to use that! Because I feel that group of people understand that - they’re past the days of climbing the corporate ladder, or making a name for themselves, or how big of a house they have or what kind of car they drive. For them it really comes down to relationships....well, and maybe their health!! It’s one of my favorite days of our ministry year. I can see why Karen would love being with this group, people who have nothing more to prove to anyone. Finally, here’s an email I received from Rebecca, a missionary who has been serving in Indonesia for many years. She responded to episode 20, “Relating with People Who Talk Too Much.” “I’ve listened to several of your podcasts and made a handout with the questions for dealing with people that annoy you. I’ve given it to several people including a missionary who was in our home on Sunday night. Many blessings to you as you continue to assist people in living in more healthy ways! Rebecca” From Episode 20, Rebecca complied a list of 15 questions I mentioned that a person can ask them self when they are in a relationship with a difficult person. I will post these sometimes soon on my website, but you can get all of it now on the podcast episode, number 20, “Relating with People Who Talk Too Much” Well here is my takeaway from today’s episode. What I learned today We have some really wise people listening to this podcast. People I can learn from. People very different from me. The more I hear what they are thinking and what is on their heart, the wiser I will become. And so will you. Before I close, here’s the he main take-away from today’s episode, our show in a sentence We can draw encouragement from others when we see what they are doing to transform their relationships into the best they can be. Here’s what you can do in response to today’s show You could ask God if there’s a person much younger than you that he wants you to invest yourself in. It could be a child or someone a generation or two behind you. And then do something similar to what Devri and her husband did, to build trust and then impart the wisdom you’ve acquired. You could also ask God if there’s a much older person he wants you to connect with. Like Cindy and Karen did in today’s episode. Someone from whom you could draw wisdom. Someone with a story that would encourage you. Now for our Relationship Quote of the Week From the lessons our missionary friend Devri taught children many years ago: Give thanks in all things; it is better to give than to receive; forgiveness frees the one who forgives, and Jesus is our Shepherd. Closing Thanks for listening in today to hear from your fellow listeners. I sure enjoyed it, I hope you did too. I’d love to hear from more of you as to how you are dealing with the relationships in your life. You can keep it anonymous if you want. But the main thing is we can all use a bit of encouragement these days, and that encouragement could come from you as we learn how to best reflect the character of God in our relationships. Because after all, You Were Made for This! Well, that’s all for today. See you next week. Bye for now. Resources mentioned in today’s show Episode 38: Motivating Others to Love and Good Works Episode 20: Relating with People Who Talk Too Much

Inspiration from a Listener Anna Supp  Listener Anna Supp sent us this email in the hopes it would provide inspiration for others. If you have a story to share with others in our horse-loving community,  we would love to hear it. It can be about anything - your favorite trainer, your biggest "ah ha" moment, or the story of your horse.  Email to John@WhoaPodcast.com and I'll do the rest. Hi John, I discovered your podcast recently, and thanks to an 11 hour drive that day, got to listen through for most of the trip. I thought I’d share with you a story, whether you’ll read it or have any interest in it, I have no idea. But perhaps there’s a piece of it you may want to share with someone that needs inspiration. My story is about coming back from an injury and redefining myself as a horse(wo)man in the wake of an accident. I’m 32 years old, and my horsemanship background is a little unique. I grew up very poor, in a family that did not (nor was able to) support my passion for horses, but I always found a way to be around them. Occasional rides on friends horses, hanging around barns to work for rides, and devouring every book I could get my hands on eventually found me with the opportunity to exercise a backyard horse for my teenage years, and then through good grades and good fortune I was able to go on to college for Equine Business, eventually changing to Agricultural Business Management, and ride on an IHSA team. This college program was really the foundation of my formal riding education, even though I’d spent years researching and learning through trial and error on my own. I went on to manage a summer horse camp, trail and lesson program, eventually building a show program. After graduating college, I moved on to a career outside the industry but continued to coach an Interscholastic Equestrian Program team, lead a 4H club, and teach lessons on the side. It was exhausting but deeply fulfilling. As my outside career progressed, I pulled back from teaching, and spent a few years on the paying side of the industry, leasing a horse, riding with a trainer, and competing in the jumpers. I had a lot of fun being the customer, but I found myself slightly unfulfilled in that role. Along came marriage and a baby, and another job change, and I pulled back even farther. After having my daughter I gave lessons again occasionally at another barn, but I felt more and more disconnected. As I closed in on my daughter’s first birthday, I was lessoning and leasing half-heartedly, and I had just made the decision to begin pursuing an MBA along with my full-time career. Three weeks before my daughter turned one, and five before the start of my MBA program, I was letting a young horse catch his breath after a warm up, when a car pulled into the parking lot. I remember the blinding flash of light as the sun hit the windshield just right; the mane disappearing out from underneath me, and then the realization that I could not get up. Throughout the ambulance ride, I was certain it couldn’t be anything serious, but as I lay in the ER, I overheard the diagnosis over the nurse’s radio, and I vowed then and there I was done riding. I had broken my pelvis in four places, including the base of my spine. After surgery, it was six days in the hospital before I could l lift myself out of bed. By the time I got home, the shock had worn off, and the first thing I did was rope a friend into driving me back to a barn. My daughter learned to walk by holding onto my crutches, and within a few months I was able to drag myself onto a mounting block and onto a horse. That’s when the real pain started. Physically I was fine, secured with plenty of hardware. Mentally, though, I was broken. Trying to push through riding, I began having panic attacks, nightmares, anxiety, and eventually depression. The thing I loved most in life had become a source of fear and pain. For anyone who has ever been in this place, here’s what you need to know: this story can have a happy ending. It takes perseverance, pro-activeness, and self-advocacy. Do not worry about anyone else but yourself. I have always been very conscious of the feelings of others, so this was hard. The first and hardest thing I had to do was leave the barn where the accident had happened and ride somewhere else. As much as I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the trainer, or risk damaging their reputation in any way (especially since it was in no way her fault), being in the same atmosphere was too much for me. I moved back to a barn I had ridden at earlier in the area and had always felt safe, and got a few rides under my belt, and slowly started to feel progress. Don’t expect your progress to be linear. I would make progress and then have setbacks. Within my first half dozen rides, I sat a few small spooks, that set me back, and each time I wondered if I should just give up. If I would go too long between rides, I would start to wonder if I would have the nerve to get back on. These setbacks became fewer and farther between over time, and less impactful. Surround yourself with cheerleaders, whatever that takes. I am so fortunate to have a lot of good horse people in my life, that I’ve accumulated from my various adventures. Every time I felt like I couldn’t do it, I reached out to one of them, and they cheered me on from every corner. Their belief in me sometimes is all that pushed me forward. I didn’t want to let them down as much as I didn’t want to let myself down. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Despite the progress I was making, I was still struggling. About 9 months after the accident, I had the opportunity to travel to Arizona for school, and decided on a whim to spend two extra days there, by myself, at a dude ranch. By good fortune, the one I found on google was just reopening, so I got a lot of one on one time with the wranglers there. By the second day, I was loping through the desert, and doing some team penning with the other guests. The spark had been reignited. Find something that makes you hungry to keep going. I came home from Arizona, and after riding hunter jumpers for most of my adult life, I went at the recommendation of a friend and took a reining lesson. In the first fifteen minutes I found myself laughing for the first time in a very long time, and by the end of the hour I was hooked. I haven’t looked back. Around the same time, I stumbled across the documentary “Down the Fence,” and as corny as it sounds, it changed my life. It fueled a new fire, stronger than ever. I knew it was the challenge that I needed. I watched it again, and again, and started making phone calls. I now own two quarter horses, riding several times a week at multiple places, reining and working cows. While wrapping up my MBA is still taking a good chunk of my time, I plan to compete this coming year. Most importantly, my now two-year-old daughter has fallen in love with horses and riding as well. I don’t struggle to get out of bed. I’m back and more determined and focused than I’ve ever been. My next goal in life is to meet Doug Williamson, and while I don’t know how I’m going to do that yet, I’m sure that I’ll make it happen. Watching him tell his story, the challenges he’d faced, and his straightforward determination changed the way I thought of myself. I know there have been many who were not as fortunate as I have been, to be able to return from an injury. At the same time, there have been others who have had it so much worse than I and didn’t let it stop them from pursuing their dreams. To steal the phrase from Doug, I’ve been given the chance to ride a few more good horses, and I don’t intend to waste a minute of it. Anna Join Us on this Journey We want you to be a part of the show.  Tell us about your horse.  Share your challenges, triumphs, or just everyday items that make horse ownership unique.  Create an audio file using the memo app on your phone.  Or, contact me and we'll set up a time to talk by Skype or phone.  Perhaps what you have to share can help someone in THEIR horse journey. You are a big part of why we do this podcast.  We really love getting your feedback.  Please let us know your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions for the show.  Email us at John@WhoaPodcast.com Thanks for listening, John & Ranae Bonus Episode  Support the Whoa Podcast with this Amazon Link.

Welcome to Episode #5 of our weekly podcast here at Miracle Ford! In this episode, we talk with Amy Bryant, the Business Development Manager at Miracle Ford. Topics Discussed: How Amy got into the businessWhat is the BDC (Business Development Center) and what is their roleWhat are the most Frequently Asked Questions that customers haveWorking with customers who have challenged creditHow the Internet has changed the marketplace, and why it is a good thingWhat makes Miracle differentWhat Amy does outside of work Transcript Opening John Haggard: 00:02 Welcome to the Miracle Ford podcast where each week you will be able to learn the best ways to purchase or lease, maintain and accessorize and how to sell your vehicle for the highest resale value possible, when you’re ready to do it. I’m your host John Haggard and throughout each month right here, as you probably already know, if you’ve been listening, we’ll have different team members join us from Miracle to bring you tips that you can actually use, and answer questions that you probably have in your mind already. And by the way, we will also post a transcript of each podcast so you can easily refer to it. The idea there is if you hear something you want to get the information, not have to listen to everything all over again, just go right to the script and your information is right there. On this podcast we’re talking to Amy Bryant and she’s the Business Development Manager at Miracle Ford in Gallatin. Hey Amy, welcome to the podcast. Amy Bryant: 00:49 Hi John. How are you doing? How Did You Get Into The Car Business John Haggard: 00:51 I’m doing good. Doing good. You know, people always want to know, well, who is the person behind the voice? Who is the person behind the face? So it’s always interesting to know. Amy, how did you get started in the car business? Amy Bryant: 01:04 Well, John, I have to say back in 2013 I was actually a recruiter and one of my clients suggested that I try the car business… that I would possibly be good at it. I have loved it every day since then. John Haggard: 01:18 You say a recruiter, what did, who did you use to recruit for? What type of folks were you looking for? Amy Bryant: 01:23 I was actually a recruiter in the accounting arena, so I worked for Robert Half for many years and that is actually how I even got in the car business. It just kind of fell in my lap and I’ve loved it. John Haggard: 01:33 Wow, okay. So people who needed anything at all to do with accounting, you would call on companies and say, “Hey, if you’ve got a need for bookkeeping or a chief financial officer, we’ve got folks”, that type of thing. Amy Bryant: 01:44 That’s correct. Everything from a CFO all the way down to just a data entry. John Haggard: 01:49 Okay. Okay. So how long have you been doing cars and vehicles? Amy Bryant: 01:52 Since April of 2013 John Haggard: 01:54 April of 2013. All right. And so now how about Miracle Ford? How did you wind up at Miracle Ford? Amy Bryant: 02:01 It’s kind of funny. I actually came to have lunch with one of my coworkers that I have worked with for probably six out of my eight years here in the business and I met him at Miracle Ford. He told me what a great dealership this was. I came to have lunch and the rest is history. I just celebrated my one year anniversary here and look forward to many more years here. John Haggard: 02:24 That sounds fun. That’s how it works. Sometimes it’s all about relationships and who you know and who you get to know. When you hear that title, Business Development Manager, it sounds like a big deal and I’m sure it is, but what does that really mean? What do you really do there at Miracle Ford? What Is The BDC (Business Development Center), and What Do You Do? Amy Bryant: 02:41 My team and I develop the business for Miracle Auto Group. We have a whole center that’s designated to this business and we handle all the internet inquiries promptly. We handle all the incoming calls and make outgoing calls to all of our existing customers as well as any potential new customers. But our main goal is to set appointments for all potential customers with our certified professional staff. You know, one of the things is our time is very valuable and when we schedule these appointments, we are doing this for our customer just to expedite their time that they spend in the dealership. John Haggard: 03:16 Okay. Yeah. Because one of the big complaints of people who come in to try to purchase a vehicle or lease a vehicle, you hear these stories… “it took me all day long to try to try to get something done”. So are you saying that your idea and the way that you do business there is to try to make this a process that doesn’t take very long? Amy Bryant: 03:36 Absolutely. We want our customer to be able to get as much knowledge and gather as much information as they can over the phone so that when they come into the dealership, we’re going to have their vehicle ready. We’re going to have the used car manager waiting to appraise their trade and we’re going to have our finance managers on deck so that they can go right in there promptly. John Haggard: 03:56 Alright, so that makes sense. Because, in other words, like if I respond on the Internet and I see a vehicle that I want, really your team or you are going to be the ones who are behind the scene to be sure that I get everything I need so they don’t have to waste a lot of time coming in there asking questions again. Amy Bryant: 04:12 Absolutely. We want to make sure that that is answered promptly, quickly and give you just as much information as we possibly can. We don’t want to have to wait for a sales person to come off of the floor. We want to make sure that you can reach us each and every time you try to. What Are The Most Frequently Asked Questions That Customers Ask John Haggard: 04:29 All right. That makes sense. Cause people really are, I guess there’s a phrase “time starved” today. What are the typical maybe top two, three, four questions you always get? Questions people want to know first? Amy Bryant: 04:41 Well I think mostly they want to know if the vehicle is still available. Do we still have the vehicle, what is the condition of the vehicle, is it a one car owner, they want to know the history of the vehicle and they always want to make sure that the specs that are featured online are correct. So we always are going to be asked to, is that the best price that’s on the Internet? So those are really the top questions that we get asked. And I would say probably 90% of the time, those are the four questions that are always asked. John Haggard: 05:10 All right. So the idea is give the customer all of the information you possibly can on the phone, again to cut down all the time that they would otherwise have to spend. Amy Bryant: 05:20 Absolutely. Can You Help Someone With Challenged Credit? John Haggard: 05:21 And what if somebody, Amy, has challenged credit. What about that? Amy Bryant: 05:26 We have a department here inside of Miracle Auto Group, and they work with so many different lenders that there really is a great chance that we will be able to get you into a vehicle. All of our highly skilled finance managers, they’re going to work very hard. They will work every avenue they can for our customers to leave with a vehicle. John Haggard: 05:45 Pretty good, strong possibility. You’re saying that they can get financial aid dollars and can that be on a new vehicle or new lease as well? Or is that only on used that you can do that? Amy Bryant: 05:54 No, that’s definitely up to lender and up to the finance manager to decide what’s the best option for the customer. I have found that we all have highs and lows in life and that includes our financial struggles are no different. And we have lenders that realize that and they will assist in giving people a second chance. Even after bankruptcy. Our finance managers are relentless. John, they’re gonna work hard and do all they can for our customers. John Haggard: 06:20 Kinda sound like you. You sound relentless, Amy. Amy Bryant: 06:23 Well… you know, I try. Ha. What Changes Do You See in the Marketplaces Today Compared To Just a Few Years Ago? John Haggard: 06:25 There you go. So, what do you think in the market place today, you hear about these companies like Carvana and all sorts of things that are going on. What changes do you see in the marketplace as people go about making a decision to buy or lease a vehicle compared to maybe just a few years ago. Amy Bryant: 06:42 The Internet, hands down the Internet. Most of the customers that we speak with already know what vehicle they want, what they want to pay for it, and do everything before they even step into the dealership or even speak with someone at the dealership. They do their research. And I think the internet is a fantastic tool for our buyer to have. And I look at the Internet as our friend. I believe that we should be able to have all of our information together, as we all work so very hard for our money, I really think the Internet is the buyer’s friend. John Haggard: 07:16 Well that makes sense. And certainly people on anything, no matter what they buy today, it seems like, we’ll all go up there and get a customer opinion, reviews or just to see, hey, you know, what kind of information can I get? It’s almost like, do you ever feel like this Amy? Sometimes people, they don’t really want to talk to anybody. They want to get all the information first, then call and say, can you do it? Yes or no? Amy Bryant: 07:40 Absolutely. And they have every right to do that. You know, I love it when a customer calls me and challenges me to ask that question and to really put together everything we can for that individual. I don’t ever want to say no and I definitely would work every avenue to make sure that I can do what the customer asks. What Makes Miracle Ford and the Miracle Auto Group Different? John Haggard: 07:59 Every dealer is going to say we’re the best. We can finance everybody or most people, you need to come here. You won’t get a better deal, a better price, a better vehicle, better options anywhere else. So what would you say, what would you tell people if they said, “you know what Amy, I keep hearing that same thing. Everybody says they’re the best”. What about Miracle Ford in terms of why really they should deal with the Miracle Auto Group? Amy Bryant: 08:22 John, I have to tell you, in my eight years in this business, I love the principles that Miracle Auto Group stands for. I have worked in the car business for some of the biggest corporations for six years, which is very long time being in a corporation, in the car business. This company is different. I can’t express enough the gratitude that I have. Like Mr Galvin saying on the podcast, episode 1, he actually spoke about the fact of we’re not trying to get people, on the front end part of things. That is huge. He literally has created an atmosphere that the customers are welcomed here and I think I just have the best team and coworkers in the world. So yeah. What Questions Did I Not Ask That You Would Like For People To Know John Haggard: 09:05 All right. Talking to Amy Bryant, she’s the Business Development Manager at Miracle Ford in Gallatin. You know, we covered a lot of topics. Is there any one question I did not ask you Amy, when it comes to purchasing or leasing a vehicle, that people either ask or that you would want them to know? Amy Bryant: 09:23 I have to tell you, a lot of times working in this, one thing is… A dealership will do anything just to get you in the door. And that’s not how we are here. My team, myself, we refuse to do that. If a customer calls about a vehicle and it is no longer available, we are immediately going to call that customer, let them know that that vehicle is no longer available and give them an option. I just think that it’s very important to always be up front. John Haggard: 09:51 But you can also get vehicles from other places where someone could still come deal with Miracle. Right? Amy Bryant: 09:58 We sure can. We have many outlets that we use as a resource to ensure that our customer gets the vehicle that they want each and every time, whether it is a new vehicle or a pre-owned. And I think that’s very important for them to know. What Do You Like To Do Outside Of Work John Haggard: 10:12 All right. So tell us what you do, Amy. What your hobbies are, the most fun things you like to do when you’re not working? Amy Bryant: 10:19 You mean I don’t work? Actually, I’m in my second year of college, so I’m a full time student. So my quiet time has now become my study time. John Haggard: 10:31 Well what are you studying? Amy Bryant: 10:32 Probably Business Management is where I’m going to continue to go. But I love to get on my adult children’s nerves all the time. And my oldest son is actually a high school teacher back home in Baltimore, Maryland. John Haggard: 10:44 Oh Wow. Amy Bryant: 10:45 And I have found that he is now my tutor. My daughter’s here yet. My daughter’s here in Tennessee with me. And every Sunday that is my husband and I’s day where it doesn’t matter what’s going on in the crazy world. We every Sunday reserve that time for us just for church and lunch. So it’s mostly just with my family, John Haggard: 11:04 That’s good. And they say what goes around comes around. So, like mother, like son. Now son’s tutoring mom. That’s pretty cool! That’s pretty cool. Amy Bryant: 11:12 Absolutely. Yes. I know… sometimes it’s quite humbling, but I have to say I’m very proud of them. Closing John Haggard: 11:18 That’s great. Well, thanks Amy. Amy Bryant, folks. That’s the Business Development Manager for Miracle Ford. You can join us again right here for other topics on the podcast throughout each month. Our goal is to show you the best ways to purchase, maintain and accessorize your new or preowned vehicle. Then how to sell your vehicle for the highest resale value possible, when you’re ready to do it. And don’t forget, we’ve also posted a transcript of each podcast right here on the website so that you can easily refer to it, pull out the information that you would like to have at your fingertips. I’m your host John Haggard, and we will see you next time.

Hi John. Got your email, but I haven't had a chance to look in my diary yet. That's OK. I fact, let's push it back to next week because this week is really hectic. Yeah, sure. Don't worry I understand. Vocabulary Don't worry. - To nic, nic se neděje. to push back - odsunout This week has been hectic. - Tento týden jsem byl v jednom kole, byl hektický.

Hello, Marketing. Oh. Hi John, it's Vicky. Are you OK to talk? Yes, of course. I thought you might call. Do you want to know about tomorrow's launch? Yeah. I just wondered how it's all going. Vocabulary Are you ok to talk? - Můžeš mluvit? I just wondered. - Zajímalo by mě. How is it going? - Jak to jde?

Click on the link below to discover the number 1 tip to making money online. What do you think it is? Do you agree with it? http://www.trustthelink.com/ Hey, today I'm going to be talking about Facebook prospecting for affiliate marketing and a very funny story about the wrong way to prospect for this business. Before I got started in affiliate marketing I was involved in a few network marketing companies and even used the telephone to sale network marketing training to people in the business. We could call people with a script and say something like I see your a fellow network marketer. If I could honestly show you a way to put 20-30 people a week into your business every week would that be worth 30 minutes of your time to find out how to do that? Mostly, they would say that is complete bullshit, but how do you do that? The same process happens today. You see ads on YouTube and the first that comes to my mind is John Crestani who shows you a stack of $10,000 cash. The point is people are insanely lazy. If your offer is weak, people may not want to stop what they are doing to check you out. The marketing process is AIDA. A is for attention you have to grab someone's attention, then generate interest and desire and the last is them to take action. Interest is logical and desire is more emotional. With Facebook there are 2 ways just using a regular account that you can prospect for affiliate marketing. The first way is in your feed and the second is with messenger. Instagram and groups are a whole other topic. I'll start with messenger. First you have to be friends with people to message them. What I do is ask questions. I'll say Hi John, what internet job do you do? If they say affiliate marketing I'll ask how is your business going? Then I'll ask are you interested in an easier way to make money with your affiliate business? Most people say yes. Then I'll send the to a video that shares my personal story about what I'm offering. To me spam is just shoving your pitch to people whether they want it or not. Asking questions it's just way better. The second way to prospect with Facebook is in the feed and you got to be careful with this. You can't put your affiliate link or any link in the feed because nobody will see it. What I do is use a shortening service called bitly. And put a space between the dot ly and the bit and this makes the link not clickable. Then right next to it I usually will say remove the space to create the link. Before the link I will write out a story. The story involves someone's pain and frustration and how my product solved that pain usually. Then a call to action and the link below. Stories grab our attention and if you click on the link below or go to my website you will see an example of this. It's not boring, which is what you don't want. Before I let you go I got to tell you of this insanely funny story of someone who is an affiliate marketer. What this person did was put out a lot of adult film videos and then at the end would put an affiliate link. Has any guy ever made it to the end of an adult film video? Maybe he should of put them in beginning, which might be even more funny. I hope you got some value from this video or podcast on Facebook prospecting for affiliate marketing if you did please hit the thumbs up button If you are serious about making money online click on the link below or check out my website http://www.trustthelink.com/ for the number 1 tip I have found, what do you think it is? Bye for now. http://www.trustthelink.com/

  In this episode, we meet  Ari Galper, the World's #1 Authority on Trust-Based Selling on trust and influence, eliminating resistance and being a sales magnet not chaser.   Go to: www.chiefmaker.com.au/119   Complete your FREE Career Scorecard: www.chiefmaker.com.au/score-card   Ari is the World's #1 Authority on Trust-Based Selling and is one the most expensive sales growth advisors in the world. He is the creator of Unlock The Game®, a completely revolutionary sales approach and has clients in over 35 countries. Ari has a Masters Degree in Instructional Design and is a practitioner of Aikido, a special martial art that diffuses conflict between two parties. Ari is based in Sydney, Australia with his wife Michelle and their two sons and daughter. In this episode we talk about: Building trust first before anything else, so that you create influence; Eliminating resistance in any communication with a prospect; Why the language you use is so critical, and some practical examples of phrases to remove from your life; and The myth of chasing sales, and instead becoming a sales magnet. Connecting with Ari You can reach Ari in the following ways: If you're into sales conversion, check out his Unlock The Game® website; If you're a consultant or business coach, then head to Trusted Authority; Or if you're a CEO, check out Ari's next project, CEO Legacy Books. Thanks to Perry Marshall for recommending Ari. On eliminating rejection What we discovered in our research is that rejection is triggered by certain things you say and do unknowingly that cause the other person to push back on you. So that comes down to the words you say (languaging), the way you say it (delivery) and how much authority you have (positioning). Those three things are the triggers, and if you don't have one of them, you'll get rejection every single day. On starting with building trust, not pushing for a sale Whatever you're offering to them is about a solution to their problem; if you try and sell your project by talking about the benefits of it and not addressing their issue, that is a mismatch there. It will feel like you're trying to put your agenda before theirs. An example is: "Hi, my name is ... I'm with VRA, we specialise in this." That's kind of a pitch. What you'd say instead is, "I'm hoping you can help me out for a moment. I'm just giving you a call to see if you'd be open to some different ideas around ways to solve the issues you're having related to sales and project management. Would you be open to that?" That's the mindset shift I talk about in the game - it's shifting away from the end goal of the sale and focusing only on trust first. If your goal is trust first, you don't talk about yourself, you talk about them. That's the whole mindset shift that I teach. On doing your research Nowadays, you can't go fishing for their problems anymore. "Hey, how you doing? How's your business going? What problems do you have?" That used to work five years ago. You should probably already have a sense of what the top three issues are that your clients deal with, so start with those. You have to ask yourself what the value is to them to consider your suggestion. Make a list of all the things you offer in which they would see value. On the biggest lesson in his career 15 years ago I was a sales manager in a software company and we launched the first online website tracking tools to collect website behaviour - it's now called Google Analytics. In the end, after what I thought was a successful sales call, I overheard them say, "We're not gonna go with him. Keep using him for more information and make sure we shop someplace else cheaper." It forced me to question what I did wrong, and that became our Unlock The Game mindset premise, where our goal was to remove the pressure from the sales conversation to basically shift away from the end goal of the sale to building trust first, to make sure both you and them were fit to decide whether to proceed. On a better set of sales KPIs Most businesses measure the sales people's performance based on certain behaviours. For instance, the numbers game, so that's how many contacts they make, how many meetings they have, how many presentations they do and how many closes do they make. But none of those issues has to do with trust, meaning there's no measurement on how good they are at building trust in the process. Most salespeople are being conditioned to hunt, to kill, to bring in the money, but they ought to learn how to stop chasing, stop selling and build trust instead. On better languaging We developed what we call Trust-Based Languaging to replace sales languaging. So, I'll ask you vigorously to remove one key phrase from your vocabulary forever, and that is “follow up”. By saying "follow up" you're asking, “How does this person move closer to a sale for me?” Instead say, "I'm giving you a call to see if you have any feedback on our previous conversation, our proposal or on us." So, you actually go backwards, not forwards. The phrase “would you be interested?” is a sales phrase, so get rid of it. Instead try, "Hey, I've got a plan that might be able to help you out, would you be open to hearing this?"   On how to jump to the next level in your career Don't focus on jumping. Find the person who's at that level and find out what value they could use that they don't have right now, and offer it to them. Just focus on the next person up who's the key player there and ask them what their challenges are and approach them with value-add. Just keep problem-solving! On recovering a lost sale - “the magic response” If you're chasing somebody and you don't hear back from them for a while, you feel like you've lost them. You know you can't chase them anymore otherwise you're going to burn the relationship with them. What you do is call them back or email them and say something to the effect of:   “Hi John. It's Ari I hope you're doing well. Look, I'm not calling to move things forward at all. I'm just calling to first of all apologise. I hadn't heard back from you for a few weeks so it's probably me. I may have dropped the ball, I may have missed something, maybe I chased you too hard. I just want to apologise for whatever I may have done that didn't have you call me back. And look, I'm only calling for one reason, and that is for some feedback to improve myself in the event there are a few opportunities with other people, so I can become a better person. Would you be open to that feedback to me?"   The above approach helps release the pressure, but by falling on your sword, it's amazing as 95% of the time they say, “No, it's not you” and then they give you the truthful feedback you're after, or might give you another look. On sales myths One is the whole numbers game concept. That is dead. It's not about how many contacts you make in your networks anymore, it's about how much trust you create with every single person. Another one is the idea that your job is to overcome objections. But what if what they're telling you is true? So if someone says to you your price is too high, if you try to overcome the objection, you would either bring the price down or defend yourself. Instead, defuse the objection, re-engage again without risking the relationship with the sale and say, "You're absolutely right. It can be perceived as high, no doubt about that. In fact, everyone joins this at first says the exact same thing as you. Look, the last thing I want to do is try and convince you to do something you don't want to do, that's just unethical to even do that in the first place. But would you be open to re-looking at this from a different perspective, based on the topic issue we are trying to solve? Would you be open to that?" And one final one is that sales messages need to be heard multiple times before a customer acts. Well, the formula is actually not based upon the number of touches, it's based on what the message is in those touches. On routines What do you need to be working on that impacts 95% of your business? I spend a lot of time thinking about what I should be doing every day that has the biggest impact on what I do. Every night I'll think about what the three things are that I need to do today to be successful. As Jeff Bezos says, "If I just make three decisions a day, I can go home." Final message of wisdom and hope Always be open to someone else challenging your assumptions, to make sure that you know what you know, but recognise you may not know it all and always strive to be able to say that you're cutting-edge but others have been there before. So keep seeking out answers for things you may not know yet.

Hello everyone and welcome to episode 14, Relationship Skills - Level 4. This episode is the last of our series on the 4 levels of relationship skills. But before we dive into this topic, I want to share some listener responses to our podcast that have been coming in since we started at the end of November 2018. December 19. Hi John, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the last two podcasts specific to joy. It made so much sense to me.     ~ C.M. - Wisconsin December 24. Hello John, Your message is timely for me this season. And I very much appreciate your appreciation of the women in your life! Thank you.   ~ M.J.B. - Wisconsin, the only state in the union with “sin” in its name. December 25. Just wanted to let you know that I have listened to the first five installments of your podcast and was impressed with the professionalism of its production.  I particularly liked #5 The Gift of Joy Part 1.  Haven’t listened to Part 2 yet.  ~ E.L. - Iowa December 28 Dear John, The days of December have whisked by with preparations and then carrying out about 7 major events in my home, work at the orphanage, and one on one visits.  Because of that I have missed 4-7, but am taking a day off today to rest and regroup (tomorrow is the last outreach for us in Dec.)  I will have the great joy of listening to all of them today. Thank you for your faithfulness.  I feel like you are my Pastor.    ~ D.W. I have more responses that I’ll share next week. I would love to hear from more of you about what you find helpful and meaningful from the podcast. Not for my benefit, but more as an encouragement to the community of listeners to the podcast that is slowly developing. Okay. Back to the topic of today’s show. It was just last week a listener ran into my wife Janet and was talking to her about this series on relationship skills. She commented something along the lines of, “I’m not sure which of the relationship skill levels is most characteristic of me.” Maybe you’re wondering the same thing. It’s a useful question to consider, because it will help us know how far we have to go to get to the top level of relationship skills, which is the focus of today’s episode. Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves to determine the level of our relational development: 1. In thinking about relationship difficulties you have, does the thought ever occur to you that the source of those difficulties might be YOU? Do you notice you lack some basic relational skills? Are you even aware that relationships are a problem for you? If you answered “No” to any of these questions you are at level 1, the Unconsciously unskilled (U.U.) level of relationship skills. If you answered YES to any of these questions, congratulations, because you are making progress! You are at level 2 of your relational development, Consciously unskilled (C.U.) You know you are making mistakes in your relationships, but you don’t know what to do about it. 2. If your lack of relational skill does not concern you, and you accept the fact that this is just the way you are, this is where you will remain. Consciously unskilled in your relationships. Your relational difficulties may be so troublesome, that you resign yourself into thinking that things will probably never change. So why even try. On the other hand, if you want to change and want to get better at relationships, no matter how overwhelming some of them might be, you are well positioned to move up to level 3, Consciously skilled (C.S.) You are at the Consciously skilled (C.S.) level when you start to see progress in how you relate to others. You’re not perfect by any means, and the progress may be slight, but in some areas you see real growth in how you relate that is different from how you may have related to people in the past. You may be less critical and more willing to extend grace. You may let other talk more than you when you’re with friends. You may ask people to clarify more often what they mean, rather than your natural tendency to make assumptions. You may have always been a good listener, and you want to continue to nurture this skill. If any of this is true for you, you are at level 3, Consciously skilled (C.S.). As good as it is to be at level 3, there’s an even higher level of relationship skills. Level 4- Unconsciously skilled (U.S.) This is where you are skilled at relating with people and you’re not even aware of it. It’s woven into the fabric of your character. It’s who you are. You may not have always been this way, but over time relating well with people has become second nature to you. You’re kind without thinking about it. You give people the benefit of the doubt as a matter of course. You see your own pride and selfishness rearing it’s ugly head from time to time, and you take action to squelch it. You discern the motives of people without being judgmental. Compassion for others comes naturally for you. You are Unconsciously skilled (U.S.) The $64,000  question is this, How do I become Unconsciously skilled in my relationships? It starts with what I mentioned in episode 13 about level 3 of relationship skill development. I said that to become skilled in our relationships is to listen to 3 different sources of relational wisdom - Listen to our self. Listen to others. Listen to God. When we pour our energies and focus into listening to these sources of relational wisdom, especially listening to God, when we do this well, and do it often, over time, like any other skill we practice, in time our relational skills will improve to the point they’re embedded in the DNA of our character. But it takes time and a desire to want to improve our relational skills. We have to want to. This “want to” is what I mentioned in episode 10, Two Features of Every Good Relationship. Listening to self, for example, is for the purpose of creating a feedback loop to alert us to mistakes we make in our relationships. From this, we can take steps to correct them. For example, do you ever wonder if you talk too much when you’re with friends? I do. I can usually tell later when I replay a conversation in my mind and realize later I didn’t learn what was happening in the lives of my friends. I took up all the air time so they couldn’t talk. I’ll try harder next time to let others have the floor. The more we practice self-editing, we can over time become more unconsciously skilled in our relationships. Listening to others, particularly writers and speakers, and putting into practice what they teach, is a great source of wisdom. Here’s just one example, I find myself applying some of the things I learned in Cal Newport’s book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You - Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for the Work You Love. It is a great book on the importance of skills, and the relative un-importance of passion. He talks about developing a “craftsman mindset where you focus relentlessly on what value you’re offering the world. This stands in stark contrast to the much more common passion mindset which lets you focus on what value the world is offering you.” Newport’s focus ion the book is developing career skills that are valued in the marketplace, but the principles he discusses apply just as much to our relationship skills I hadn’t thought about this until just now, so one could say I was unconsciously skilled in learning from the wisdom and experience of others. As helpful as it is to listen to ourselves, and to listen to the wisdom of others, the most fulfilling and exciting means to become unconsciously skilled in our relationships is to frequently listen to God. I’ll close with a story of how a couple of my friends were unconsciously skilled in caring for me. Hopefully it will encourage you that you too can become unconsciously skilled in your relationships. I call it my Balloon story. I write about it extensively in a memoir I wrote in 2016, THEM - The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others. I’ll put a link to it in the show notes, as well as a link to the Cal Newport book I referenced, So Good They Can’t Ignore You. [story was shared on the podcast] Before I close, here’s the he main take-away from today’s episode, our show in a sentence The more we monitor ourselves, learn from the wisdom of others, and listen to God, the more unconsciously skilled we’ll become in our relationships. Here’s a way you can respond to today’s show: Start with devoting just the next 5 days to applying one or more of the the principles we’ve been talking about the past few episodes. Be directed in how to do so by listening to yourself, to others, or to God himself. Coming up next week I’ll be reading more listeners responses to our podcast so far, and I’d love to hear from you about how the podcast is helping you. By sharing this will hopefully encourage others in transforming their relationships into the best they can be. You can leave your thoughts in the comment box in the show notes, or you can send an email to me, john {at} caring for others, {dot} org.  You can also private message me in Facebook. In addition to sharing listener comments next week, we’ll also look at some concrete practical things we can do to deepen our relationship with others. Quote of the Week We were together. I forgot the rest. ~ Walt Whitman Closing Well that’s it for today’s show. It’s always good to know you’re listening in. I hope you find the podcast helpful. If you haven’t already done so, hit the “subscribe” button in whatever podcast player you use. That way you’ll know when each new weekly episode goes live. That’s all for now; have a great rest of your week, and we’ll connect again next time. Resources mentioned in today’s show So Good They Can’t Ignore You - Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for the Work You Love, by Cal Newport THEM - The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others by John Certalic   Prior Episodes of You Were Made for This: Episode 013, Relationship Skills - Level 3 Episode 012 Relationship Skills - Level 2 Episode 011, Relationship Skills - Level 1 Episode 010 Two Features of Every Good Relationships

Welcome to episode 7, the year in review and the year ahead. I like to think of it as the best of 2018. But since we only started on November 28th, it’s also the ALL of 2018. By way of a brief review, and for any first-time listeners, this podcasts is all about relationships. Experience and observation have taught me that relationships are one of the most rewarding aspects of life, and at the same time, one of the most frustrating. The goal of this podcast is to help people experience more of the rewards of relationships, and less of the frustrations. Like many others, I firmly believe we are all made for relationships. We’re not meant to live life alone. That’s how the name of the podcast came to be, Your Were Made for This. The “this” we were made for is fulfilling, life-giving relationships. It’s just the opposite of a what a recent Wall Street Journal article describes about baby boomers being the most isolated generation of all. I’ll have a link to the article at the end of the show notes. It’s entitled, “The Loneliest Generation: Americans, More Than Ever, Are Aging Alone.” When you read the stories of people, and how they’re living alone, well it’s really quite sad. The purpose of this podcast is to somehow, in some small measure, stem the tide of loneliness by contributing something to help people transform their relationships into the best they can be. The podcast is to be something that actually helps people, rather just another outlet for creative expression. This podcast is to be about YOU, not me. Whether we’ve succeeded at this in the first 4 weeks of the show is up to you the listener to decide. But that’s my goal. Another goal of the podcast is that it become a means of community for people who would like to to be encouraged by stories of others who are making progress in transforming their relationships into the best they can be. I’m not exactly sure how that’s going to work. Maybe it will be a Facebook group later, I don’t know. We’ll see. Toward this goal, and for this last podcast of 2018, I want to share today selected responses I’ve received from listeners regarding the podcasts aired so far. I’ve received a fair number of emails and comments from people saying they like what they’re hearing so far. I’ve also received some feedback from folks with suggestions for ways to improve the podcast, which I’ve appreciated. In today’s program I want to share responses of people who actually changed as a result of what they heard in one or more of the six episodes aired this year. Changed either their behavior, or the way they think. I plan to do something like this every now and then to foster a sense of community. As well as to encourage you in transforming YOUR relationships into the best they can be. So I would appreciate hearing from YOU with stories YOU have of applying what you’ve learned on this podcast. You can either leave comments in the box below in the show notes, send an email to john@caringforothers.org, or direct message me in Facebook. Okay, on to the listener responses. In the very first episode, I mentioned that I plan to share relationship principles and skills through stories, both my own, and from guests I interview. The older I get, the more I appreciate what a powerful learning tool stories can be. One story I shared at the end of episode one was the story of when I was 15 and a neighbor boy, we affectionately called Bozo, was killed. I mentioned the scene of watching my dad walking down the middle of our street, with his arms over the shoulder of the father of whose son had just died hours before. The picture of that scene is still vivid in my memory, and it was something that helped me see my relationship with my father in a new light, and to forgive him for how he treated me. After hearing this story in episode one, one listener wrote to tell me, “My husband and I listened to your 1st podcast. We were really gripped by the story of your dad and the death of Bozo. We talked about it and this morning called a friend who just this week lost his wife. Thanks, John. You are making a difference.” I can’t tell you how much that encouraged me, to know someone took action, and actually did something to care for a hurting friend. It reminded me of a phrase I use often, and which you’ll hear on this podcast from time to time. And that is, when we try to bring out the best in others, we bring out the best in ourselves. These 2 listeners trying to bring out the best that was in their grieving friend. I don’t know what they said to him, but I know this couple and they have a heart to help people. For the grieving husband to know someone cares enough to make a phone call to him has got to help deal with his sorrow. ___________________________________ In responding to Episode 2, “The Gift of a Background Relationship,” a listener from Pennsylvania wrote: “I loved the story about the relationship you have with your mother-in-law…in your podcast you ask each to think about someone in their lives like this [ This was in reference to the end of the movie about Mr. Rogers, Won’t You Be my Neighbor. The film showed co-workers of Mr. Rogers tearing up as they re-called people from their past who believed in them; who nurtured them.] "It came to mind yesterday morning shortly after I got a doe on the last day of the PA deer season. I reflected on my father, a man of few words, but his actions spoke deep love. Until yesterday, I had not shed one tear over my father’s passing 9 years ago. But, up on the mountain, as I looked over the valley…, I thought of dad and how much I miss him. He would have loved the moment of hearing that I got a deer and he would have loved butchering it. It was how we connected. It was an emotional moment, a precious moment. I never felt I needed to shed a tear over dad’s death because all was good when God took him home. So those very few tears yesterday morning were ones of thankfulness and appreciation for God’s gift of my father to me.” Man, that encouraged my heart to know the story of my relationship with my mother-in-law triggered something within this listener to reflect with appreciation on his relationship with his father. And to shed a few tears of gratitude for him. ___________________________________ Another response to episode 2 comes for a missionary serving in the Mideast. This person writes: “I must say just as you were encouraged by seeing the kindness in Janet's singing with her mother, so I have always been positively affected by any time I have had with you.  Listening to your family's Life Achievement Award list, or your caring for a trying dog, or your lovely memories of your mother-in-law had me laughing uncontrollably one moment and then soberly contemplating the truth that was being shared.  How grateful I am for you, for your willingness to open your life so we, the listeners, can be trained in loving each other more fully.  Thank you for including me in the privileged group that gets to listen!” I think the more we open up our lives to each other, the greater the chance for a deeper relationship we can have with each other. We can learn to love well when we have the heart and take the time to watch how others love. We’re all teachers, for good or ill, because people are watching. More than we realize. ___________________________________ Episode 3, “The Gift for the Person who has Everything,” drew this response from a listener: “I liked episode 3. I’m going to incorporate a ‘lifetime achievement award’ for my husband’s 60th birthday. I also subscribed to your podcast.” This is great to hear. Something very practical this woman can do to honor her husband. It’s action she can take. Taking action, the right action, can be very helpful in transforming a good relationship already into the best relationship it can be. I plan to share more of these relationship tips, or hacks, as they’re now called, moving into 2019. There are specific relationship skills we’ll be examining and practicing in the months ahead. ___________________________________ Episode 4, “The Gift of Even Though,” evoked this response from a listener: “Your podcast about joy and how sharing in others’ joy, multiples joy - it’s not a zero sum game. This really resonated with me! My husband and I have been able to have kids easily and when we are around friends who struggle with infertility, I feel guilty sharing the joys of my children. It was so beautiful to hear how your friends [Vern and Lorraine] had many “children” without having their own.” I take this to mean, there was a change in thinking in how she viewed sharing the joy of her children with childless friends. By not sharing your joy, you may be depriving them of their joy. That joy, like love, is an unlimited natural resources that never depletes. In fact, the more you share in the joys of others, the more joy multiplies itself. It seems this perspective helps in easing any guilt feelings. After all, what is the listener guilty of? Being blessed with children. I can understand there are times when we share our joy it is met with a “must be nice” response. That is painful, for sure. There’s that verse in the Bible about “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” That’s a command to be joyful over the joy of others, not a suggestion. For many of us that’s harder to do than to mourn with people, than to feel their pain. ___________________________________ Another listener, this one a missionary serving in Eastern Europe, wrote: "I'm so glad you’d decided to do a podcast! I’ve listened to all of them so far and look forward to listening further. Glad I could be your connection in this part of the world! "Over the past few years, I’ve found myself being placed in more ministry leadership-type positions. As my responsibilities have increased, and (potential) impact expanded, I’ve noticed that my limitations in relationships have restricted some of my potential influence. Plus, of course, I totally agree we are made for community, so this affects my own well being too. But, praise God I am a work in progress, can by his grace grow, and can learn from others, like yourself!” What a great attitude, and such self-awareness! One relationship that gets less attention than it deserves is our relationship with our self. Self-awareness is such an important leadership trait. Without it, we suffer the consequences of exceeding our limitations, alienating people at times, and hindering the achievement of our organization’s goals. We’ll be talking about self-awareness in future episodes of You Were Made for This. ___________________________________ Finally, another listener wrote, “Hi John, I just wanted to let you know how much the last two podcasts specific to joy meant to me. It made so much sense to me and gave Jesus/Others/You so much more meaning and depth. I think with the last two especially you are finding your zone.” ___________________________________ All of this leads us to the main take-away from today’s episode, our show in a sentence Listening well to the relationships stories of others can teach us much to help transform our relationships into the best they can be Response (Call to Action) to today’s show You can encourage others by sharing stories here on this podcast of what you’re doing to help transform your relationships into the best they can be. It can be an action, or even a different way of thinking about your relationship. You can either leave comments in the box below in the show notes, send an email to john@caringforothers.org, or direct message me in Facebook. Your identity will be kept confidential. Coming up next week…and next year Next week’s episode the first of 2019, will feature our very first interview. The first of many to come in the new year. It’s a wonderful story of what a wife and her daughter did to care well for their husband/father. It’s a memorable and tender relationship story that I’m sure will find encouraging. Quote of the Week “We tell stories in order to better understand each other.” - from Lark Rise to Candleford Resources Mentioned on today’s show iTunes: Previous episodes of You Were Made for This Google Play: Previous episodes of You Were Made for This December 12, 2018. Wall Street Journal article, "The Loneliest Generation: Americans, More Than Ever, Are Aging Alone." From the Bible, Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Lark Rise to Candleford the BBC series that ran for four seasons, 2008-11. Free with Amazon Prime. THEM - The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others pages 204-5.

Design Business + Chamber of Commerce = Success [sc name="pod_ad"]One of the best marketing tools available to your design business is your local Chamber of Commerce. If you are not taking advantage of how this organisation can help you grow, you are missing out. Big time. What is a Chamber of Commerce? A Chamber of Commerce sometimes called a “board of trade”, is an association or a network of businesses and business people formed with the purpose of promoting and protecting the interests of its members. The Chamber of Commerce is not a new idea. The very first one was founded in France in 1599. The first one in the USA was started in New York in 1768. Nowadays, you can find them in almost every country and most cities around the world.  One of the primary roles of the Chamber of Commerce is to debate, promote and lobby for or against municipal, state/provincial and even federal policies and laws that affect businesses in your area. They have no direct role in creating laws or regulations, but they are very effective in influencing people who do create them. At the municipal level, your Chamber of Commerce is there to advocate and promote its members. That’s why you should join your local Chamber of Commerce. What benefits do Chamber members receive? There are many benefits to joining your Chamber of Commerce. Although some benefits will differ from Chamber to Chamber some common ones are: Your business listed in its member directory. Receiving deals and discounts from other chamber members. Your business gets promoted in your region. Having a voice in shaping local business policies in your area. Free or discounted admission to exclusive events such as networking and social events, guest presentations, trade shows, etc. Being a member adds credibility to your business. Why you should join your Chamber of Commerce. The main reason you should join your local Chamber of Commerce is for the support of like-minded business people that can help you succeed. You know that networking is a critical element of growing your design business. If nobody knows who you are, how are people going to know to hire you? Joining your Chamber of Commerce gives you an opportunity to meet and network with other local business owners, the company decision-makers, the people who hire designers like you. Imagine the Chamber of Commerce as an exclusive club. Many members take this club very seriously and will often look to fellow Chamber members whenever they need help with something. Including looking for design services like yours. I have several good clients that initially contacted me because I'm a fellow member of the Chamber of Commerce. Some met me at a networking event; some saw my business in the member directory, and the Chamber referred me to others. The Chamber of Commerce itself also requires design services for the many events and promotions it puts on throughout the year. Who do you think they will turn to for these designs? Chamber members who are designers of course. Free Marketing for your design business As a member of your Chamber of Commerce, you also get free marketing for your business. Let me repeat that; FREE MARKETING. This free marketing may come in the form of exposure through physical or electronic newsletters, the Chamber's social media posts and other forms of publications. The Chamber loves spreading the word about its members because it helps them attract more members who want the same attention. Have you designed a new logo or website for a fellow Chamber Member? Let the Chamber know, and they’ll tell everyone about the great work you've done in their next newsletter. On a side note; once you are a Chamber member, please make sure you read your Chamber’s newsletters. The Chamber of Commerce is often the first one to break the news of new business starting in or coming to your area. Often, at the very earliest stages of those businesses. Talk about an excellent opportunity to get your foot in the door and introduce yourself to people who need your services. How people view the Chamber Many people, whether they are a chamber member or not, see their local Chamber of Commerce as an authority when they are searching for products and services. New businesses starting or relocating to your area will turn to the Chamber of Commerce for help and guidance in finding the local talent they can hire. That authority means people TRUST their opinion when the Chamber recommends a business to them. And if there is a Chamber member that offers the sought after product or service, that’s who the Chamber of Commerce will recommend before anyone else. Look at these numbers compiled by American Business Magazine. 44% of consumers are more likely to think favourably of businesses who are members of their local chamber. 51% of companies are more aware of businesses who are Chamber members than businesses who are not. 63% of consumers are more likely to buy products or services from businesses who are members of their local chamber. 57% of consumers view Chamber of Commerce members as trustworthy and are more likely to believe their products or services are better than competitors. There's a 63% increase in the likelihood that someone who doesn’t require your services now, will use you in the future knowing you are a member of your Chamber of Commerce. Those numbers alone should be enough to convince you that joining your Chamber of Commerce is a good move. A wealth of contacts I mentioned above that one of the perks of joining the Chamber of Commerce is to be listed in their member directory. That directory is available to the public. Since the Chamber of Commerce has a reputation for promoting good business, by association, having your name or company listed in their directory gives the perception that you too are a good business to deal with. As a result, clients will have a more favourable impression of your business and trust you more. The Chamber's member directory is also an excellent tool for you. Use it as a contact list and promote your services to fellow Chamber members on your own or through one of your Chamber’s promotional avenues. What a fantastic icebreaker for cold calling. “Hi John, I was looking through the Chamber dirctory and noticed that you’re a fellow Chamber member. I was wondering if you had time available for us to meet and discuss your overall brand strategy to see what we can do to grow your businesss?” Merely mentioning that you are a fellow Chamber member may be all you need for the client to say yes to meeting you. You could even offer them a deal, discount or bonus exclusive to Chamber members as an incentive. You should view your Chamber of Commerce as your business partner. It’s a valuable tool for any business owner and if fully utilised, can help you grow your design business. Every Chamber is different Every Chamber of Commerce is unique in its way. They offer various benefits, resources and opportunities to their members. However, their end goal is the same. They serve as an influential voice for the well-being of the local business environment. Including helping to promote and improve the growth of local businesses. Joining your Chamber of Commerce will grant you access to opportunities that will allow you to make connections, meet potential new clients and gain exposure for your design business. Joining Chamber(s) I’ve been talking about your local Chamber of Commerce. But most Chambers allow members from outside their immediate area, providing you do business in their community. Meaning, you can join a Chamber of Commerce outside of your community. If you live in an area that is not served by a Chamber of Commerce, or if you live in a smaller community with a less active Chamber of Commerce. Look into joining adjacent or nearby Chambers where you would like to do business. Do your part I probably don’t have to say this but, merely joining your Chamber of Commerce is not enough. You can’t just pay the membership fee then sit back and wait for new clients to come calling. You need to take advantage of what the Chamber offers and partake in the events they organise if you want this partnership to help you. People still need to know who you are and what you do before they will hire you and the Chamber needs to know who you are before they recommend you. By involving yourself in your Chamber of Commerce, your chances of success are much higher than if you tried doing all of this on your own. And just in case you need any more incentive to join your Chamber of Commerce, your Chamber membership fee is tax deductible. Are you a member of your local Chamber of Commerce? Let me know how being a Chamber member is working for you by leaving a comment for this episode. Questions of the Week Submit your question to be featured in a future episode of the podcast by visiting the feedback page. This week’s question comes from Penn Hi Mark, I have a question for you regarding web/graphic design. I graduated with a degree in graphic design 10 years ago, but during all that time, I never really pushed myself to get involved in web design and learn to do it well. Now I've come to the point in my career where I need to start doing extra work on my own time, but I realize that clients need web and mobile design more than ever before, and perhaps more than most other types of design. As a result, I'm using online learning to try to get familiar with html, css, and other web design essentials in order to be able to serve new clients with these skills. Could you explain on a podcast episode the steps you take in actually designing and building a website? I'm sure I'm not the only graphic designer who listens to your podcast facing this problem, but if I am, then any helpful insights or resources that unveil some of the mystery surrounding this process would mean a whole lot! To find out what I told Penn you’ll have to listen to the podcast. Here's a link to the WordPress Plug-in checklist I mentioned in my answer. Resource of the week Onepixel Onepixelis a stock photo site offering beautiful images by professional photographers for the low price of $1 each. There are no subscriptions, no credits, no hidden fees and no minimum purchases. Every photo is only $1. All photos are royalty-free and legally cleared for commercial, editorial and personal use, meaning they’re 100% safe for you, your organisation or your client to use for any creative project.  Listen to the podcast on the go. Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Spotify Listen on Android Listen on Stitcher Listen on iHeartRadio Contact me I would love to hear from you. You can send me questions and feedback using my feedback form. Follow me on Twitter, Facebookand Instagram I want to help you. Running a graphic design or web design business all by yourself isn't easy. If there are any struggles you face running your design business, please reach out to me. I'll do my best to help you by addressing your issues in a future blog post or podcast episode here at Resourceful Designer. You can reach me at feedback@resourcefuldesigner.com  

5 paragraph essays are now allowed. Keep it short, simple & sweet. Outline: 1st Paragraph: 2-3 sentence of who you’re / what you do. 2nd Paragraph: 3-4 sentences of why you’re e-mailing them & the ask of what you’re looking for. 3rd Paragraph: 1-2 sentences of your previous work / examples of what you’re offering/selling with links/attached files. Closing Paragraph: 1 sentence of “Hope it’s of interest. If the timing isn’t right, I totally understand!” Give people an out! Useful Tips: - Address the e-mail: “Hi John,” - Keep it clean, cut & professional. All fonts should be the same size. - DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! Know everything about them. - Make the E-mail click friendly. The person should not need to Google search you or what you do. Everything they need to know is listed in the e-mail. - Hyperlink everything so that they can “click around” to see what you’re about. - Give people an out! It’s a professional way for the person you’re e-mailing to say no. It will hopefully get you a response at the least. - Sign off: “Best, *your name* ” - If you enjoy this podcast, please screenshot it & post it to your Instagram Story tagging @PurposeintheYouth. I appreciate it and so too does my beard! - Connect with your favorite bearded man, Bobbbaaaay: Instagram: @Bobbbaaaay Twitter: @Bobbbaaaay Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for new interviews (and more) Follow us on Spotify Follow us on Soundcloud Subscribe to iTunes Follow us on Instagram: @PurposeintheYouth    Music By Girls by Skater Instagram: @KillsKater

John Demartini is a renown author and speaker, he has literally touched millions of people across the globe with his work. He is considered one of the worlds leading authorities on human behaviour and personal development. Today we have the pleasure of speaking to John about health and the mind. Some say disease and health are all in our mind and manifestations of us not living true to our values… today you will be treated to an insight by a very amazing man… With that said, I would like to welcome Dr. John Demartini to the show, welcome John! --- Hi John, its Mark Ottobre here, how you doing? thank you so much for coming on the show today, your work has made a profound impact on my life, so I am really looking forward to sharing your knowledge and wisdom with all my listeners and readers today… So lets get into it… 1. I have heard you talk about the mind and bodies relationship before… I believe in one of your programs, Prophecy 2 you talk all about the manifestations of the mind and body is that right? 2. Can the mind really heal the body? 3. Something that you taught me… There are parts of our body that we will despise and love …we will never get rid of this; what can people do to overcome the fantasy of trying to be perfect? 4. There seems to be so much more sickness and disease today than there was 50 or 60 years ago… What do you think this is related to? 5. You have spoken about people with diabetes have a bitterness and people with hyperglycaemia have a “sweetness”. Can you explain what is meant by this? 6. What are things like anorexia or body dysmorphia linked to emotionally? 7. Do think people gain benefits from being sick… ? 8. You have spoken about cancer many times, what behaviourally themes have you found with cancer patients… e.g Black and White thinking? 8. a) Do you think this is true even with children?

How to Use Social Proof on LinkedIn to Generate Sales Leads: Do you use LinkedIn's recommendations to differentiate yourself from your competition?  You should. Watch the video below to find out how. Video Transcription: Hello it's Chris Hamilton here with Sales tip a day, www.SalesTipADay.Com and today I'm going to show you how to use social proof on Linkedin. You can learn how to beat your competition by using LinkedIn recommendations. Before we get started I'd like you to access a 14 part LinkedIn little known tips and tricks course, it'll give you lots of tips and tricks on using Linkedin for sales, and prospecting and how to land more clients. It's a $199 value but you can get it for free, and here's how you get it. Go to bit.ly/28and14 or you can text "LinkedIn14" to 44222 in the US or "LinkedIn14" that's LinkedIn one four, to 1 855 969 5300 in Canada. So let's get started. One of the things you want to take a look at with social proof is: 92% of customers trust referrals from people that they know 71% of consumers are more likely to make a purchase based on social media referrals 81% of US online consumers purchase decisions are influenced by friends and social media posts 74% of consumers identify word of mouth as a key influencer in their purchasing decisions Referral marketing generates three to five times higher conversion rates than any other channel Basically, social proof is something that will help you sell your product or service and we're gonna show you how to do this through Linkedin. Now, on Linkedin there's a section, it's a recommendations section and relatively easy to use, I'm going to give you a secret when it comes to getting recommendations that no one else will probably give you, so, what you want to do is you want to click on the receive section and then what you're going to get, you're going to be asked to get recommended. When you click on this it's going to bring up a section, it's asking for recommendations. What you do in here, think about who you want to ask for a recommendation. You put their name in, it'll start popping up and you can click on that. Now, when you do that, you want to put in kind of that relationship that you have will them. It's going to be, "I worked for John, John worked for me" Whatever it is, then what you want to do is also select your position. Linkedin will have looked into the positions that you've had in your profile and pull them up as well so this is where you get that.Now, then you get to the screen where it says, "Ask John to recommend you, include a personalized message with your request" They've prefilled it, it usually comes with, "Hi John, can you write me a recommendation" here's where people fall down on this stuff. If you just send this out, someone's gonna look at it and go you know what? Yeah I'll get to it when I get to it, they'll never get around to it. So here's the secret to getting recommendations. Write your own recommendation. So what you can put in here is something like, "Hi John, can you write me a recommendation, are you willing to give me a recommendation, I've written one based on our relationship when I was working at this company, here's what it is, feel free to wordsmith it any way that you want" What you do is you hit send, that will go to John or whoever you're sending it to, they can either grab it, paste it and put it into the recommendations so in essence, what you've done is you've dumbed it right down for them so that they really don't have to put a lot of effort into writing a recommendation.So, here's some tips that I've got on getting recommendations. So first of all, your recommendation should improve some positives for potential clients. Once again, if clients are coming and they're looking at your recommendations, make sure that you got some very positive aspects, especially towards your target demographic or market that you're going after. If you can get facts and figures, put them in. So for example, Chris helped us reduce turnover in our company by 47%, Chris increased sales by 17% quarter over quarter by doing his magic or whatever it is, make sure you use facts and figures. Let the other person know that you'd be happy to write a recommendation for them and follow up if you don't get a recommendation, so for example with the one that I sent to John, if I don't get it, I can send him a quick message to say, "Hey, I sent you a request for a recommendation on Linkedin, was hoping that you could actually follow through and do that for me if you don't mind"Then what happens is you'll get that recommendation. So, once again, we're back to the 14 part Linkedin little known sales tips and tricks course. If you want to access this course go to bit.ly/28and14 so that's two eight and one four. You can text "Linkedin14" Linkedin one four to 44222 in the United States or "Linkedin14" to 1 855 969 5300 in Canada, once again it's literally a $200 value course that you could get for free, lots of great tips and tricks in here on how to use Linkedin to generate sales leads. If you need to reach out to me, feel free to, Chris@SalesTipADay.com. Phone number is 403-630-1243, and as always go to www.SalesTipADay.Com for great tips and tricks on Linkedin and sales and marketing.

On this episode of The John Campea Podcast (recorded Monday August 8th 2016) John talks about the following topics:1) Delays on Gambit2) Jimmy Smits appearing in Rogue One FAN QUESTIONS:Winnie Cooper writes: Hi John, I wanted to get your unique perspective on an angle of the DC vs Marvel critical reception that I haven't heard anyone talking about specifically. And that is the critic/audience approval ratings difference for Marvel and DC movies. Let me show you what I mean. When you look at critics vs audience ratings on Rotten Tomatoes for Marvel films they are pretty much in lock step, with most of the films at 0-5% difference between critics and audiences. In fact, in 13 movies only one (Thor 2) has a double digit difference (of +12% for audiences), with Marvel movies averaging +1.77% for audiences. But the differences are drastic with DCEU movies. +20% audience approval for MoS, +38% for BvS and as of the date of this email a whopping +47% for Suicide Squad. That's an average of +35% audience rating for DCEU movies. Meaning that critics like Marvel movies on average almost as often as audiences, but like DCEU movies far far less than audiences. So the question is, why? Are critics being unusually harsh on the DCEU movies or are audiences just more forgiving of weak films? Itamar writes: hi john, about suicide squad, first of all, i didn't like the movie. the bad stuff just was too much for me. but my question is, don't you feel this movie was suppose to be R rated? the entire time, it just felt weird that these group of psychopaths and bad guys never cussed once. felt out of character for them. i feel this should've been a R rated movie not just because the R, but just like deadpool, a R rating would fit these characters and the story. would've been way coolerBen Rainer writes: Big Fan hear, and I respect your opinion very much. I have seen Suicide Squad already and I really really enjoyed it. Any way my question is do you thing that critics subconsciously review DC movies harsher than Marvel movies. I am not even saying they do it on purpose or even are aware that they’re doing it. I’m just wondering if Suicide Squad Movie comes out under the Marvel name I wonder if it would be getting slightly higher reviews. I am very curious to hear your thoughts, and I am loving your podcast.

在美国的回忆。（歌名寓意向John Mayer致敬） TANG.MUSIC（OST） 唐鸣｜原创纯音乐合集 联动音乐合集：《带着音乐去旅行》 找到同名歌曲，一起听会有更多惊喜哦！ 微信交流号：TANGMUSICTMD（Tony） QQ互动群：327831665 抖音/B站：唐鸣 新浪微博：唐鸣_TANG-MUSIC

在美国的回忆。（歌名寓意向John Mayer致敬）TANG.MUSIC（OST）唐鸣｜原创纯音乐合集联动音乐合集：《带着音乐去旅行》找到同名歌曲，一起听会有更多惊喜哦！微信交流号：TANGMUSICTMD（Tony）QQ互动群：327831665抖音/B站：唐鸣新浪微博：唐鸣_TANG-MUSIC

在美国的回忆。（歌名寓意向John Mayer致敬）TANG.MUSIC（OST）唐鸣｜原创纯音乐合集联动音乐合集：《带着音乐去旅行》找到同名歌曲，一起听会有更多惊喜哦！微信交流号：TANGMUSICTMD（Tony）QQ互动群：327831665抖音/B站：唐鸣新浪微博：唐鸣_TANG-MUSIC

On this episode of The John Campea Podcast (recorded Monday May 9th 2016) John talks about the following topics:1) The Effect of negative BVS reaction had on Civil War2) Civil War3) Game Of Thrones S6 E3 thoughts3) Alden EHrenREich as Han SoloTWITTER QUESTIONSyunglegend1234@johncampea what do you think about the Infinity War movies being retitled and being 2 standalone stories? #tjcpNolanHiddink@johncampea Hi John, Do you think that Chris Nolan has a good shot of winning an Oscar with Dunkirk#TJCPsithlordthrash@johncampea #tjcp who are your favorite current MMA fighters and who comprises your P4P top 3?Jsilvz24 @johncampea Thoughts on Keanu's box office performance? Do you think Key and Peele will be able to make a box office hit? #TJCP

Here's the question: "Hi John. Here is the question. I'm the one in charge of making the proposals at Freelancer, Elance and oDesk for a really small company (we are 5 developers, and I'm the salesperson). There are two things that scare me the most: my english level/accent and my ignorance on the matter (coding, I only know, for example, what PhoneGap does but I don't know how). Can you give me some suggestions? I receive feedback, but I can't manage to stay with me! Thanks for your help. BTW, your podcasts are excellent. Keep on the good work!" Training Center: http://goo.gl/4788A3 Subscribe on YouTube: http://youtube.com/johnmorrisonline Subscribe on SoundCloud: http://soundcloud.com/johnmorrisonline Subscribe on iTunes: http://goo.gl/RggnXW

This week’s design dilemma comes to us from Rob in Calgary, who wrote: “Hi John and Matthew, I recently developed my basement and added a TV room and kids play area downstairs, and would like to make the main floor more of an adult space, but would still like to have a TV and some [...]

Mike and Denise write John and Matthew looking for help with their home design problem: “Hi John and Matthew, Your book “Whats Wrong With This House” gave hope for the design problems that my wife and I are trying to solve with our 24′ x 36′ south facing hillside house in the mountains of Virginia. [...]

Catherine from Squamish, BC writes to John and Matthew with her design problem. “Hi John and Matthew. After attending your seminar a few years back and working through the Slow Home problems online I’ve finally got my own Slow Home issues to play with! My husband and I purchased a home in Squamish, BC – [...]

Dayle from Calgary writes “Hi John and Matthew, I would really appreciate some design advice on our main floor living room and kitchen. We love our bright infill home in Richmond Park but there are some obvious design flaws. I attended your Furniture Layout course but I am still struggling with how to make the [...]

John and Matthew answer a question from Mike in Toronto about the development of his basement. “Hi John and Matthew, I’m currently in the process of developing my basement, but I am having some issues and am hoping you can provide some direction. I am having trouble with the layout as I am not sure [...]

Dr. Porter talks directly to Republican leaders John Boehner and Mitch McConnell about their opposition to the solution of a problem which threatens the survival of mankind. … Read more about this episode...

The following success ritual, with the entire text from this episode, is meant to create change in the participant. For was it not HE who said...truly change yourself and your world will change with you. In the ritual, their is a reference to High John oil as an aromatic stimulant. our brethren in the south know this scent, but many interested in this particular path throughout the world! do not. As it is not easily available in many places, through his greatness, he has decreed what may be used as a simple substitute as HE, knows the smell of success.... Ingredients for the ritual one can of red bull energy drink OR one flask of High John oil one cigar 5 saucers one thick candle...green, purple or red (green for success in business or finance, purple for healing or compassion, and red for love, or for advanced users, for war) Ritual... HI JOHN! Place the candle in the centre of the room and starting in the south place the five saucers on the floor in the shape of an inverse pentagram in a counter-clockwise motion. light the candle and pour a fifth of the High John oil into each of the saucers. Siting facing North towards the influx, play the accompanying ritual piece while gazing at the candle before you. the scent of the High John oil shall have by now filled the room. With the ritual piece playing, you shall chart a course of action in which to achieve your goal. You must only speculate on this seeing positive results in whatever bizarre or arcane forms. When you can do this no more, light the cigar from the candle and blow out the candle sharply. Keeping the cigar lit, dispel the energy by going out in public with the cigar immediately after performing the ritual. When the cigar is spent the ritual is done. This ritual has long term effects which may not be immediately revealed to you and may be repeated as often as desired. Is it not HE who enjoys to bestow pleasure?