Podcasts about Upper West

There is a simple and thin veil that separates the worlds. And thereof, with history in mind, it is most powerful and magickal to contemplate the following: what if the Old Gods had never disappeared? For indeed, they have not: and thus, to where in New York City might we begin our search for them?WE ARE GOING TO SALEM!Instagram: @beyondtheseaspodcastEMAIL ME: beyondtheseaspodcast@gmail.comTarot Collaboration: @thefeatherwitchnycWeekly Book: The Tombs of Atuan Podcast website: https://beyondtheseas.buzzsprout.com/More info: https://www.kierandanaan.com/beyond-the-seasAuthor Interview CollaborationCrossed Crow Books (@crossedcrowbooks)Music"On Earth" by We Dream of Eden"Intimacy" by Ben Winwood"Who Else Would Walk Through These Shadows With Me?" by The SoundKeeper"Solace" by Liquid MemoirsCheers Magick Makers, Kieran

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Will the pressure make the Trump jury crack? Week one of Donald Trump's historic first criminal trial is now etched into the history books and it ends with a full jury box. Week two will start with opening statements. The jurors come from all parts of New York City, West Harlem, Hells Kitchen, Chelsea, Upper West and Upper East Sides. They all say they can be fair despite what they read or said about Trump in the past.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Wendy Weston.Wendy Weston started Perfect Picnic with a dream, a small blanket and endless drive and passion. She decided to hang up her figure skates, moving on from her career as a successful competitive skating coach. She has worked her way from the bottom literally - from the basements of Chinatown to her Perfect Picnic storefront across from Central Park. Wendy now delivers her vision of delicious food, and a luxury experience to New York City, The Hamptons and Cape Cod. Over the past 13 years Weston has transformed her vision into a successful business selling millions of dollars worth of picnics. She additionally has paved the way for others in the fast growing "Picnic Industry". The idea "if you can make it here you can make it anywhere" has kept her going as she balanced being a single mother determined to show her daughter what a strong woman could accomplish on her own. She has turned a quiet corner of the Upper West side to a destination for New Yorkers and travelers from around the world. She was recently awarded the Women in Business award from Chase Bank.-----Past guests include Margaret Wishingrad, Kara Goldin, Brandi Chastain, Julie Foudy, Ann Miura Ko, Linda Avey, Sarah Leary, Becky Sauerbrunn, Miriam Haart and many more.Follow us on Instagram | LinkedIn | Youtube-----Show Notes:1. Welcome to She Leads2. Wendy's Childhood + Figure Skating 3. The Impact and Challenges of Leaving Figure Skating on Her Identity4. The Importance of Freedom and Independence5. Lessons Learned Along the Way with Finding Independence6. Evaluating Opportunities and Navigating Life7. Dealing with Disappointment and Expectations 8. Inspiration for Perfect Picnic 9. Rewards and Challenges of Founding a Company10. Work-Life Balance and Putting Yourself First 11. Separating Success from Self-Worth 12. Learning Curve of Founding Perfect Picnic13. Passion for Women's Sexual Health 14. Contrary Opinion of Birth and Death 15. The Practice of Acceptanance Wendy's Passion? Women's Sexual Health and the Difference of Discourse Wendy's life-time craft she is honing? AcceptanceIf you're enjoying the show, please share it with a friend and leave a review!

Kari Saitowitz is the current Chief Marketing & Creative Officer of the New York Sports Club (NYSC) and founder of Fhitting Room currently leading the NYSC in a brand comeback, bringing all NYSC brands together under one in both name and online/social introducing a new brand identity while also developing partnerships with brands and creating activations within the clubs that build upon the NYSC mission of changing lives through fitness.  Before embarking on her career in the fitness world, Kari was a key marketing executive at Pepsi focusing on building equity for powerhouse brands and launching new product innovations and campaigns. Kari took her love of planning unique consumer experiences and finding creative solutions to develop a new way for anyone to access the benefits of a personal training session in a motivational group setting.  This “Gym Idea” became the subject line of an email Kari sent to a close friend in 2012 and led to the opening of the first Fhitting Room location in a small studio on Manhattan's Upper East Side in March 2013. The lease for Fhitting Room's flagship Flatiron location was signed six months later, followed by the Upper West side flagship in 2017.  In October 2022, Kari decided to combine her love for fitness and building brand partnerships and was named Chief Marketing & Creative Officer for NYSC when the company acquired Fhitting Room in October 2022  implementing their standard of operating excellence, sense of community, and marketing/brand expertise to lead the return of the new New York Sports Club.  Kari positioned Fhitting Room for a transformational acquisition that delivers incredible growth for NYSC and Fhitting Room. Ten new Fhitting Room locations will open across NYSC flagship markets including New York, Washington D.C., and Philadelphia. She has an MBA from Harvard Business School, where she graduated with honors, and she graduated summa cum laude with a BS in Economics from the Wharton School of University of Pennsylvania. She lives in Manhattan with her husband and two sons. Connect with Kari & NYSC:  Follow Kari on Instagram  Kari Saitowitz LinkedIn NYSC: www.nysc.com | Instagram | LinkedIn Access Meghan Houle Method Career Community & Recruitment Resources: LinkedIn Meghan Houle Instagram Pivot with Purpose Instagram Book a Call With Meghan Subscribe to the Pivot with Purpose Blog Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kari Saitowitz is the current Chief Marketing & Creative Officer of the New York Sports Club (NYSC) and founder of Fhitting Room currently leading the NYSC in a brand comeback, bringing all NYSC brands together under one in both name and online/social introducing a new brand identity while also developing partnerships with brands and creating activations within the clubs that build upon the NYSC mission of changing lives through fitness.  Before embarking on her career in the fitness world, Kari was a key marketing executive at Pepsi focusing on building equity for powerhouse brands and launching new product innovations and campaigns. Kari took her love of planning unique consumer experiences and finding creative solutions to develop a new way for anyone to access the benefits of a personal training session in a motivational group setting.  This “Gym Idea” became the subject line of an email Kari sent to a close friend in 2012 and led to the opening of the first Fhitting Room location in a small studio on Manhattan's Upper East Side in March 2013. The lease for Fhitting Room's flagship Flatiron location was signed six months later, followed by the Upper West side flagship in 2017.  In October 2022, Kari decided to combine her love for fitness and building brand partnerships and was named Chief Marketing & Creative Officer for NYSC when the company acquired Fhitting Room in October 2022  implementing their standard of operating excellence, sense of community, and marketing/brand expertise to lead the return of the new New York Sports Club.  Kari positioned Fhitting Room for a transformational acquisition that delivers incredible growth for NYSC and Fhitting Room. Ten new Fhitting Room locations will open across NYSC flagship markets including New York, Washington D.C., and Philadelphia. She has an MBA from Harvard Business School, where she graduated with honors, and she graduated summa cum laude with a BS in Economics from the Wharton School of University of Pennsylvania. She lives in Manhattan with her husband and two sons. Connect with Kari & NYSC:  Follow Kari on Instagram  Kari Saitowitz LinkedIn NYSC: www.nysc.com | Instagram | LinkedIn Access Meghan Houle Method Career Community & Recruitment Resources: LinkedIn Meghan Houle Instagram Pivot with Purpose Instagram Book a Call With Meghan Subscribe to the Pivot with Purpose Blog Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Residents of Jirapa municipality in the Upper West region are grieving over the gruesome murder of the owner of the Royal Cosy Hills Hotel and safari resort other known as Jirapa Dubai by unknown assailants.

On this week's episode, host and founder of Drinks First, Ariana Nathani, tells us about her family moving to NYC, growing up between the Upper West and East Side, and her 26th pizza-trolley birthday party with stops at four Brooklyn pizza spots and free adult beverages for the crowd!Check out Ariana on Instagram and Drinks FirstHave. Fun. Like. Ariana.Donate to SakhiTikTok of the bday trolley This week's Rachel's Recs: Taralucci & Praxis GalleryThey Had Fun on Instagram, Youtube, and our website

Welcome to Episode 209. In today's episode, you are going to hear how I landed some big-name podcast guests on this podcast Unimaginable Wellness. You'll hear from Beth Nydick, the creator of the F.A.M.E Formula. This conversation happened on my book launch day for Fertile Imagination. Beth Nydick is a PR expert. Definitely check her out. She is the type of mom who, like me, loves a good dare. As it relates to my book launch in October, a dare might be the key to your success. I want to invite you to consider that as the holiday season continues. You might need the jolt of energy that a good dare provides. What if you do show up to a holiday party with PR movers and shakers? Can that distinguish you? You'll want to listen to this chat and take notes! The art of daring yourself to do things has worked for me, and it might work for you.  If you love parties then please do say hi on Instagram which was where this party took place: https://www.instagram.com/melissallarena/ Shop/gift/review - Fertile Imagination: https://amzn.to/3F6AgMu TRANSCRIPT I also wanted to point out that Beth is an empty nester. And a lot of empty nesters have actually weighed in on Amazon in terms of reviews. For Fertile Imagination, my debut book, which launched and is available to you right now on Amazon, and you can purchase or write a review if you've already purchased it. Here's something that you might not know. So empty nesters have weighed in and a lot of them say that they wish they had this book either back in the seventies as Kathy Ryan said, and she was an and made their executive and now she's a great grandmother. Or a book that they needed 20 years ago, such as my editor, Amanda  McMahon. She's actually in Australia and you'll see her name in the book as my editor. Here's what she said and is available for you to read on Amazon as a review. She says, I was hooked the minute Melissa pitched her idea to me. Her passion for helping moms who want a rewarding, but balanced life is contagious. Coupled with the wisdom of her podcast guests, we'll have you reach for a pen to fill out the questions at the end of each chapter. Every mom will find something in her book that speaks to them from challenging your inner, your imposter syndrome to acting classes to help create a new persona. Yes, I took acting classes. Melissa says she knows how hard it is to find time for yourself. She has three sons, including twins, and that is true. So her humorous, self-deprecating stories will be relevant to you. So I love, love, love that Amanda shares this perspective. Isn't it interesting how you might not realize that in your own writing, but someone else who's like really in between the lines can notice how you approach and the tone of your voice. So I wanted to share with you a snippet of Amanda's Amazon review because every single review matters so much. There are about 3 million moms who search and log into Amazon every single day. That is my back-of-the-envelope sort of shortcut thinking based on some of the stats they have online. And what happens is if a book has a hundred or more Amazon reviews, Amazon will go ahead and suggest the book as a product that they can purchase. Right now, you know it, if you are shopping for the holidays. There are so many moms looking for the perfect gifts for their mothers, their grandmothers, their sisters, their friends, and their cousins. And wouldn't it be amazing if fertile imagination were suggested by Amazon? And in order to do that, it would be really important to have a written Amazon review. On Amazon as soon as possible because timing matters every single day that I am not at that goal of a hundred Amazon written reviews. That's three million missed opportunities to tell a mom that she can do it. Others have done it. And here is how through the use of your fertile imagination. Enjoy this conversation with Beth Neidick. And I hope that you absolutely get some value. If you are a woman in business and you've ever wanted to work with a very powerful influencer, I share some tips, and again, dare yourself to do something this holiday season. See if it puts a jolt in your step. It worked for me. Tune in and enjoy the conversation. So I wanted to know how you got so many of my friends to talk to you today because I went back on their calendar and I looked at your list and I was like, Oh my God, we know all the same people.  And that made me think of all the big names who are in your book too. Yeah, all the big names. So I like talking to strangers and I think that's why I was able to like do this book. Ultimately, 25 podcast guests have appeared on Unimaginable Wellness since 2017, James Altucher, Gary V, Susie Batiz, and Beth Comstock. These are like really outstanding individuals you see on TV that you feel like, Oh wow, they're like totally hard to grasp, get in touch with. But for me. My podcast started with a dare. And so one day I was cooking rice and beans as a Latina mom does. And my husband was listening to James Altucher, who you may have heard of and he was chatting with Gary Vee saying anyone that launches a podcast because of this conversation, I will be your guest number three. And then the other person, whoever I kind of swapped right now said I'll be guest number four. And so it's pretty hilarious because I thought it was going to be easy. I was like, Oh, surely they promised we were from like the East Coast. So we kind of get like, maybe not. Right. So you know what I had to do? I had to, with my husband, go to James Altucher's comedy club and show up there. And he poked fun at me, actually.  I was like, what is it then, the butt of his joke or whatever. And so I tweeted at him after the fact and I said, yeah, it was me, the person you poked fun of. Can you be on my podcast? And he invited me to his home. To interview him. Yeah. Upper West side. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I had to get a crew. So of course I got a former podcast guest who was, who's the trombone dancer, by the way, he's in New York City. He will play the trombone and dance. Okay. Jonathan Arons. And I asked a former client of mine, who's a military mom to come with me to manage logistics. And that's how it started. It was a dare and it's, it's really about doing things that other people won't do. So like you might want to approach people and you're a PR expert. So you might want to approach people online, but if you show up in their comedy club, you distinguish yourself immediately. So that was one way that I got one person, James Altucher on my podcast. I showed up, I just showed up. Well, yay. Good, good for you. And that's honestly something I tell my clients all the time is like, it just sending an email or DM is not actually going to get you there, right? You need an intro. You need something interesting. I think those grassroots old-school tactics, like postcards, or even a letter. Like, how much mail does Gary Vee's company actually get? Probably not that much because no one does anymore. But you send an 11 by 17  message or letter to him, he's going to open it, or at least his assistant will open it. But anybody that you want, I hear so often from clients of mine that want to get their products on celebrities. And it's like,  DM them six times. And I'm like, That's actually not going to help you. What's going to actually help you is getting the publicist's email list or getting on the phone with the publicist or the manager. There are so many more ways to do this not only being dared, which I love, love, love the fact that you were being dared, but that you just like showed up in the flesh because that's what makes the difference. And that's, it goes back to like what we actually, what we talked about the other day in private, it's about the relationships. Yeah. Creating the opportunity for you to have a relationship that ultimately will be the opportunity for your success 100%. And I think it's about counting yourself in. And I think a lot of times we count ourselves out and we decline ourselves. Like we don't even give ourselves the opportunity to put the offer out and get a yes or no. We say no in our head, or we say, you know what? They're going to say no. Right. And then you stop yourself. So like with Beth Comstock, who's also in the book, former CMO of GE, I didn't grow up with connections. When I saw GE, I would think like, I don't know the light bulb or whatever. And maybe I think Edison, is right. Was he involved with the wrong company right now? Anyway, the point of the matter is it was something that just felt so far reached. Right. But with Beth Comstock, I went to ad week in New York City. And I showed up at like, I think it was the equality lounge or something like that. And I asked her, it wasn't even in person though. That one, I did a follow-up. I had already gotten Gary Vee and when I asked her, do you know that she said yes right away? And then in the book, I document this. I chickened out, I chickened out because she said yes, right away. I had not felt like I earned it. Her being on my podcast, the way that I earned in my mind, Gary Vee and James Altucher with everything that I did, was like a hundred-day sprint of trying to reach out to these two guys. And so with her, I remember, and I have this in the book when I talk about imposter syndrome and feeling like you don't belong, you're not enough. Like so many of us feel that way, whether you're a mom or a business owner, and you're trying to play bigger. I had to go up to Beth. A second time, this was a year later into it. When I funny enough, there seemed to move me when I dared my client, my client to actually talk to a decision maker, cause she wanted to land a job opportunity. And I told her, I said, you know what, I'll do it with you. You talk to that person and I'll go back and I'll reach out to bed, come stop. And so I call that courage and company, right? So sometimes you don't want to do it alone. And so you bring someone with you and that's what I did. I love that. I think it's also that's also like having people in your corner can give you the possibility of that big goal that big thing because like I'm, you know me I'm always transparent and I always tell my husband's like you tell everybody everything I'm like well that's what helps all of us. I'm working on a big project for 2024. I spoke to three friends two of them Their advice was to keep it small. One friend gave me the possibility of what I could create from the project. And I didn't realize They were feeding into, like, safety and you're okay, and you put yourself out there and you could, right, I can retreat and kind of do this on a smaller level, and she was like, Do you know what your name is? Do you know who you are? Like, we don't do things small, we do, and it's what, it's what you do, it's what I do, and I think so often we don't, we talk about the people that we keep in our circle, but we also think what, where their perception is. On the possibility of anything.  Oh, a hundred percent because that's why for me, Fertile Imagination is the title of the book. It's like, you are looking at a vision. You're casting a vision that you may have never seen another mom in your circle, including in your family actually execute. So if your top five people have never run a marathon and all of a sudden you want to run a marathon, that's when you need to get fertile baby. Okay, that's, that's when you need to just be like, all right, I got to figure this out on my own. And that's when sometimes you have to go outside of your family, outside of your circle, even outside of your country to find the people that are doing things that make you light. up. That's why the book has people from all over the world and people who have life experiences and many of them are totally unlike my own. I don't have a similar life experience as Muyambi who created a nonprofit Cycle Connect in Uganda. Like he and I, we went to Tuck to business school, but we didn't even know each other at Tuck. Number one, that was me talking to a stranger again, which I really, I really love. But number two, he just has a completely different viewpoint on urgency, right? So if there's a problem you want to solve anywhere around the world, and you're a mom and you're in the middle of a little community, let's say, or whatever, that urgency should be enough to make you say to yourself, I don't know if I have what it takes, but I want to solve that problem wherever your heart draws your attention to. Right. So that's the beauty. I love that. Well, let's talk about those. I know you have three stages of the fertile imagination. Let's talk a little bit about that because I think, like, even when you just tell me about it, it helps me. So let's talk about it. Yeah.  So a fertile imagination, again, it's like having that vision. You've never seen it before, but it's enough to drive you to like it. Do what it takes to make it happen. So there are three steps. The first one is waking up your imagination. So the deal is we're not sleeping as moms, but our imagination has been sleeping this whole time. So our imagination is only going to come out and play if it feels confident that we're going to play with it. Right? So if you have this bright idea. And every time you had this idea, you kept pushing it away. Your imagination is not going to give you some more bright ideas. It's going to be like, this lady doesn't want to play. It's not safe. I'm not coming out. So it goes to sleep. So step one, wake up your imagination. How do you wake it up? It's that inner work. It's reflecting on what you want. And, and your relationship with calling yourself creative as well. And when I say creative, it's not just like arts and crafts. It's like creative problem-solving. It's. Innovating. It's coming up with fresh ideas. Then it's about, okay, I woke up the imagination. Now I want to play with it. Right? So it's like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. So again, you're practicing. Okay. How can I re-imagine the way that I mother, for example, how can I reimagine the way that I bring this business idea to the market? How can I reimagine strategic partnerships or solutions to problems that have yet to be solved? So it's cross-pollination. It's like all these businessy things that you could apply as a mom as well in your life, right? So that's. Playing with your imagination. And that's where you have the examples that I gave, like Beth Comstock, going to Korea, to a K-pop band, to come up with a brilliant idea for GE sounds hard to, to imagine, but that's what it is. You got to go really all out. The third stage is about stretching your imagination. So any human out there, business owner, a mom, you want to duplicate yourself. This is how you duplicate yourself. You ask. For help, this is how you stretch your imagination. You tell other people your idea and you give them the language to be able to share that idea with their people. Right? So it's about really taking this ability that you and I had as little girls, the ability to pretend right now is Halloween today. You see people pretending they're all sorts of things. Right. Yeah, we were like that. I may pretend that I was Madonna in the eighties. I pretended that I was punky Brewster maybe. Right. And it was fun. It was fun. And we played with these ideas. And now as moms, it's like being a mom, it's, it's a role. It's an identity and you could really play with it. Just like being an entrepreneur, you could play with that. And so it's about having that psychological flexibility. With which to tackle life, life is an adventure. You have to figure it out and be nimble. Yeah, I totally agree. And I'm listening to you as an empty nester mom because I'm going to, I'm in the next stage of what it actually like to be a mom. And as a mom, I know you have a lot of little kids in your house, not little, but little, little, or other mine, it takes time too.  It took carve out that time to have that imagination because I think a lot of times moms don't take the 15 minutes in the bathroom to think they take it to just kind of decompress But that's that taking that time to actually think to roll over your ideas To really figure out what you want to be doing next, whatever chapter you're in. I think that's really hard for moms to do. Like, what's your advice to, to, when you're like, well, I'm too busy to think about myself. How do we take the time to think about ourselves? Because to be honest, I have a lot more time now and it's, and it's, it's a little uncomfortable, to be honest. Really? Having time? All the moms are listening to you like, what? Oh my god, I want to feel uncomfortable.  Oh, you're so funny years. I've been used to like be having them here.  And then for me, I didn't realize how much of my community was my kids' community. And now that that's moved on. There's a lot of space, and I now need to recreate the community of people who are supporting me in different ways.  Yeah, I think this need for connection, this loneliness epidemic, and how moms seldom kind of like, fess up to one another. Like, this is how I feel, and I'm kind of confused of how to approach this, and it's something that we keep to ourselves oftentimes. I think giving ourselves time to reflect on anything, at any stage of motherhood, is the biggest value add for our entire lives. For example, in the book, I interviewed someone who's known for Socratic method questions, Mark Champagne. And what he had to say was that let's imagine you're constantly interrupted. No mom knows what that feels like.  But yeah, we're constantly interrupted. Well, here's what happens. One interruption is going to take you off course for whatever you plan for that very specific day. If you don't take a second to reflect on it, wait a minute, what was I planning to do right now as it related to my long-term plan? If you don't take that second, that pause.  Ask yourself deeper questions about why you're doing what you're doing that could be a 10-year, like off-track sort of road, as opposed to like a five-minute, like, wait a minute, let me get back on track and back on goal. So those pauses, while they might feel like superfluous and not as.  you're in the heat of motherhood, they can absolutely save you a decade. For, I remember I was coaching 12 years now, working with women in corporations. They didn't have time to breathe, not even right. It was like, you're just moving and you're flying by the seat of your pants and all that stuff. And for them, it's like, Oh, wait a minute. When I would work with them, it's like, I had not. Thought of what I wanted out of my career. I had not considered how I wanted to experience my life after work. Like there's so many unknowns and you know what happens? Other people define them for you if you don't take hold of that.  Yeah. And put you in a place, right? And then there's not any possibility because I always talk to my clients the same way. It's like, what, what is possible for you for this lifetime? What is possible? Now what always comes up and I think we talked about before too and it's in the book like the stories of Why I Can't stories that when you can create that story like you can make anything mean anything so in this idea of imagination creating the story of I'm infinite and I can do anything I want and I think you live you and I really live by that Because who told you, you could write a book who told me I could write a book. Oh, girl. Oh yeah. Everyone. Amen. Right.  Yeah. That's so that's the whole thing. You know, I wish like, I do wish sometimes that someone would just tell me like, play by play, like Melissa, you're writing a book now, then you're doing a Ted talk, then you're doing a this, but the truth of the matter is that if I don't choose it for myself, I'm actually not even as excited about it. To be honest, I've, I've tried, I've tried to fake the funk and want what other people want for me, but it's really hard because that takes extra energy, right? Like if you have something you want to do and it comes from you, there's just like a surge that makes it possible. It's funny you say that. Because I was at my therapist earlier. And I'm just talking about what I'm doing. I'm doing a launch and I have this project idea and he said when you talk about this project, you light up. He's when you love your business, but there's a different level of passion when you talk about this project and that, right? That's like, oh, I should be paying attention to that because a lot of people don't. Your life is like when you imagine what could be possible or what cannot be possible. What do you see? A lot of the blocks are for the moms that you work with.  I think a lot of them, it's this collective agreement that there are excuses that are totally valid in all situations. So it's almost like as moms, it's like, we don't have enough time. Like everybody agrees now. It's almost like we got into this room and we all spoke before the meeting. And we said, let's all agree that we can all say we don't have time. And that's the imagination from working. Or I don't, I want to spend time with my kids at this age. They're only going to be one for one year, right? They're only going to be in this stage for that particular time. And what I say to that is. Our dreams also have timestamps, like if somebody's looking to get into AI, you need to do it now, not 10 years from now. Right. So there's timestamps. If you want to run a marathon in the age category of being a 40-year-old woman, yeah, you're going to be in your forties now. I mean, I guess we could repeat it, but it's not realistic.  So. So it's like collectively we've said, okay, if a mom says she doesn't have time, take it as is and move on. Or if a mom says I don't have childcare or if I don't have the education or if I don't have the connections, then it's like we accept it. And in the book, I mean, I spoke with someone that's a Hall of Famer rugby player. Okay. In gym class in elementary school, I was the last kid to get picked for every single team sport. So for me to talk to someone who is in a completely different position is like, like fairy tale land stuff. Right. And, I could have like, by the way, no one told me to reach out to Phaidra Knight. That was me. Like, no one told me, I don't even watch Rugby. But I just felt like I wanted to talk to somebody who had a perspective on standards and the standards that you hold yourself up to. And so while we might have standards that our kids have to be perfectly polished when it comes to family photo sessions, not me, but people do. My standard is, well, I need to constantly be growing professionally, like period. I don't need to work for Procter and Gamble to have a performance evaluation that I'm marking my success metric by, like I have my own, right? So to your point, Beth, it's like. How, what's the standard for your life? Right? Like, is it okay for you to use time as an excuse? It's not my standard. Like it's, it's more like if I don't want to do it, I'll use time. But if I want to do it, I don't even think about time. We're like time warping, you know?  I love that. I love the whole concept of that. And when I talk to my clients and they're talking about their sales calls, if somebody says time, I'm like, that's an excuse, how do we reach? Reframe what time is, but a lot of nerve talking this time and time. It takes time to read your book. So let's talk a little bit about why they should make the time to read your book. Absolutely. So the book is made and it's structured in a way that you don't have to read it in one sitting. That's not the idea. The idea is it's a guide that you have on your bookshelf, right? And every time that you feel like you're stuck and you just need a little inspiration, you grab the book, you look at a chapter that really draws your attention. Like, let's say you don't feel decisive or you don't feel, or you feel like an imposter, go to that chapter and then see how someone else has managed to take that. Feeling and like flip it in a different direction, right? Reframe it, reposition it. So if you're a mom right now who feels like, okay, there's got to be a better way. Like right now I feel like I'm dragging through life. I feel like I'm everybody else's cheerleader. I feel like I'm not myself. Self, right? Like I don't, I'm not happy. Like if you're not happy right now, this is your opportunity to see what else might be available to you. If you've tried like the therapies and you've tried coaching and you've tried and I'm going out here. Because I have tried therapy and it takes me to the back, right? History. And it's really hard to pull myself forward. Sometimes I've tried coaching and it just depends if you're in a business space and you want marketing coaching, then that's great. But that might not solve some limiting beliefs. Right. But if you feel like. You have more to give to yourself, right? If you feel like you have something inside of you that you want to put out in the world, then grab the book, grab the book, because you're going to see, you're going to see me and my mistakes, and you're going to see other people and like their greatest achievements. And there's going to be this middle ground that is perfect for you. And I give you questions that you can use to tailor your path. So it's very practical, but it's also very approachable because you could just look at it like one chapter for a whole week if that's your heart's desire and take action. I  love that. I love it so much. And like always, where can everyone buy your book? Just go to the link in my bio today. And if you're not a mom, you could give it as a gift in the Kindle format. So gifted to a mom who you believe in today is the day of imagination. Let's invite moms to rediscover our imaginations as well. Use today to start.  Well, congratulations on the book and everything that you put together. I can't wait to read the book. I can't wait to be on your podcast. And I'm so grateful that we got a chance to catch up today. So thank you so much. Thank you.  Thank you so much, Beth. You're amazing. Have a beautiful rest of the day in the neighborhood and may you have amazing bagels very soon. Thank you. Bye, everybody.  I love Beth's energy and I think that my energy matches her energy, but she's an empty nester. So isn't that cool? Like you could actually be in any season of motherhood and step it up. So I want to also invite you if you have shopped for the book Fertile Imagination, you take the opportunity two minutes today to go ahead, go to Amazon.com, look up Fertile Imagination or look at your orders, and then go ahead and write two to three sentences. In terms of the book itself, two to three sentences go a long way every single day. Three million moms log into Amazon and that's three million missed opportunities. If we delay one day of writing a review if you have not purchased the book. Then I invite you to go ahead and shop the book. If the review resonated with you, go ahead and gift the book. If you are not sure how to actually like a gift your sister-in-law or your mother-in-law or your friend, something that really conveys the message that you believe in their ideas and you believe in them. This would be the book to put in a stocking. This would be the book to put under a holiday tree. This would be a book. To give someone that you deeply believe in and that you want to see sore, enjoy the rest of the season and I hope you're done with your holiday shopping and I hope you're done with the things that might have really weighed heavy on your mind. So thank you for this conversation and have a good one.  ​   

An investigation is underway into the death of a child at a migrant shelter on the Upper West side in Manhattan. Plus, the owner of a Bronx apartment building that partially collapsed earlier this week says he has no idea what caused the disaster. Also, WNYC's Sean Carlson talks with Assembly Member Zohran Mamdani about proposed bills that would end property tax breaks for two of New York City's

Ambassador Deborah Lipstadt, the U.S. Special Envoy to Monitor and Combat Antisemitism, joins us to discuss how she's settled into her new role and shares insights on the development of the new U.S. National Strategy to Counter Antisemitism, for which AJC has long advocated. Lipstadt, a renowned Holocaust historian and one of Time Magazine's Most Influential People of 2023, also delves into the ways in which the Abraham Accords have contributed to the fight against antisemitism in the Middle East. Additionally, she provides an insider's look into the challenges and progress associated with addressing antisemitism and how the National Strategy factors in.  *The views and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect the views or position of AJC.  Episode Lineup:  (0:40) Deborah Lipstadt Show Notes: Go Deeper:  Test your knowledge of the National Strategy to Counter Antisemitism  Read: Everything You Need To Know About The U.S. National Strategy To Counter Antisemitism And AJC's Task Force Honoring International Antisemitism Envoys AJC David Harris Award Listen: People of the Pod: Hear from America's New Antisemitism Envoy Deborah Lipstadt Follow People of the Pod on your favorite podcast app, and learn more at AJC.org/PeopleofthePod You can reach us at: peopleofthepod@ajc.org If you've enjoyed this episode, please be sure to tell your friends, tag us on social media with #PeopleofthePod, and hop onto Apple Podcasts to rate us and write a review, to help more listeners find us. __ Transcript of Interview with Deborah Lipstadt: Manya Brachear Pashman:   Deborah Lipstadt, US Special Envoy to Monitor and Combat Antisemitism is a renowned Holocaust historian, recognized earlier this year as one of Time Magazine's Most Influential People of 2023. She has written eight books, and four years ago, advised the United Nations on its unprecedented report on global antisemitism. In fact, she joined us on this podcast shortly after the report's release. Since then, she has joined the US State Department in a role that for the first time carries the rank of Ambassador. She joins us again this time in our popup Tel Aviv studio. Ambassador, welcome to People of the Pod. Deborah Lipstadt: Thank you. Manya Brachear Pashman:   America's National Strategy to Counter Antisemitism was adopted in May. Your job primarily deals with US Foreign policy to combat antisemitism. But how does this new domestic strategy affect your work? Deborah Lipstadt: Well, it affects our work and that certainly I was consulted and worked closely with the White House in the shaping of it, my team played a part in helping to shape it people to reach out to and things like that. And there are over 24 agencies involved including the State Department, we're now looking at all the other national strategies to see best practices, what America could possibly adopt. And of course, informally, I'm the administration's most knowledgeable person on antisemitism. So they turned to me quite often for advice, for ideas, etc. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Okay. All right. Well, so as I said, your role is more international. Do you need a domestic counterpart? Does the United States need a domestic antisemitism czar? Deborah Lipstadt: I'm not sure. It's a lot on–the strategy is really run out of the Domestic Policy Council, which until about a week ago, was headed by Ambassador Susan Rice, who was greatly responsible for seeing this thing come to fruition. And we'll see how it works. It's up to them to decide how they want to do it. But I think it's also good that each agency from the usual suspects, as I like to say, homeland security, education, FBI, law enforcement, are involved, but so are so many others. Small Business Administration, Veterans Affairs, Smithsonian, all looking at ways to counter antisemitism, make sure there aren't barriers that are there, whether because of antisemitism or just ignorance. Manya Brachear Pashman:   And second gentleman Doug Emhoff has been certainly-- Deborah Lipstadt: Even before I was sworn in, after I was confirmed, I was in Washington and he asked me if I would come in and visit with him. We had a wonderful visit. We're in touch all the time. And he really feels this very deeply. And I give him great credit because he could easily have said, Look, I'm the first Jew in this position. First second gentleman. We put up a mezuzah for the residence. We have a Hanukkah party. We have a Seder. We do other things. Don't ask me to take the lead on this. But he's taken the lead. He's traveled all over, he traveled with me to Poland and Germany, where I coordinated a meeting for him with other special envoys, just to give him a sense of what other countries were doing.  And I think when he and his staff and other people in the White House who were with us saw that, it sort of energized them to say, my God, other countries have taken this really seriously. They're way ahead of us. We have to do something serious as well. Manya Brachear Pashman:   You know, with that in mind, I mean, if you think about it, your predecessors in this position have kind of made it their business to monitor, sound the alarm about antisemitism in Europe, elsewhere around the world. AJC helped convene that group of envoys at the White House. And so in many ways, the table's turned a little bit in terms of, you know, instead of the United States monitoring and sounding the alarm, these envoys came and advised the United States. Has this kind of mutual mission actually improved the relationship with some of these countries?  Deborah Lipstadt: It's improved the relationship tremendously. We really work as a team, not as a team–each one has its own you know, position, certain things one can get involved in certain things. You know, I lurk and watch what's going on, but I'm not involved in it. But one of the first things I did in fact, it was the same day as last year's AJC Global Forum, which was in New York, I think, at Temple Emanuel. And I was on the stage with Katrina von Schnurbein, the amazing EU envoy on Countering Antisemitism and Enhancing Jewish Life. And then she and I left the meeting with Mr. Lottenberg, Fernando Lottenberg, who's the OAS Special Envoy, and we met with a group of us of special envoys met to talk about how we could work together.  And so we've been meeting and convening. Katrina convened something that the EU others have convened, and then we meet, you know, sometimes we'll meet through the auspices, let's say, we'll be meeting here because many have come for AJC. But it is a government to government when we meet, it's not, convened by someone else. But it's people who speak for their governments coming together, which is quite amazing.  I've had great predecessors in this job. They're all terrific. And were strong supporters of me taking the position, very excited about it from both sides of the aisle. And I'm very grateful for that. But there are differences. First of all, Congress elevated the position to an ambassador before I was in the picture.  So it wasn't for me. And that carries weight in the world of protocol. That means you speak for the President. I see what weight it carries. In fact, I was just in conversation with a Republican senator, around the time of the rollout, because I was briefing him about the national strategy.  And he had been one of those who had pushed for the elevation of it to be an ambassador. And I said, you know, when I first heard you were doing this, I said, Oh, doesn't really matter. I said, I was wrong, you were right. It really enhances the importance, and it shows how America takes this seriously. But my predecessors, certainly amongst the earlier ones, we were the first country to have a position like this. So when something happened in France, and Belgium and Germany, whatever, they would go, and they would say to the government, you know, we take this very seriously, and we think you should take it seriously. Or if they were taking it seriously, we take this very seriously, and what can we do to help you take it seriously, and say, you have a problem, we've got to address it. And now first of all, I go and I said, we have a problem, because we have acknowledged that exists in our country. And sometimes I don't have to go racing as they might have had to, because there's someone else there. There's a local person, there's a national person there, too. So the fight has become much more coordinated, enhanced, and really raised to a government level in a way that it hadn't been previously. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Are there particular lessons that you can recall from any of your predecessors? Any of the envoys that you've taken to heart and realized. Deborah Lipstadt: I spoke to virtually all of them before I took the position. And they each had different advice, and I won't say one or the other, etc. But one the reasons–and I've only been in the job a year, but – building alliances in the State Department. And I'm worried a little bit not because of anything anybody tells me, just natural inclination to worry to be a pessimist so that we can be happily surprised when good things happen or the bad stuff doesn't happen.  But, would I find compatriots in the State Department, would people see me as you know, an add-on, a niche? Would I be operating off by myself? And that hasn't happened. And it's really been quite amazing. Partially thanks to the advice I've gotten, partially, I think, my own interpersonal connections, but I have built really strong alliances. And I'm not saying I have personally, but people in other offices with other portfolios, see this not as a niche issue. But as a central element of American foreign policy. Manya Brachear Pashman:   We hear a lot of statistics of incidents of hate crimes each month each year. And I'm curious if that's what matters most. In other words, does the perception of a community also matter whether it's a Jewish community or any other minority community, if that community perceives a rise in hatred against it? Is that enough to amplify our response? Deborah Lipstadt: The perception of a community is important, perception of an individual. Sometimes, any community, any individual can see things more dire than they are. But I think if anything, the Jewish community has become more aware of certain incidents and more aware of certain things. Give you an example, New York. I think there were a lot of Jews in New York who didn't take seriously some of the antisemitism encountered by Haredi, Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn, you know, who would walk down the street, get their hat knocked off, or get spat upon. And you could say, Okay, what's the big deal?  Well, if you're walking down the street, especially walking with your kids and your hat gets knocked off, suddenly you're looking at your father, or your mother gets a little nervous because she's in, you know, other people that she sees people come in and might be dangerous or whatever. And I think now they take that much more seriously. Have that been happening on the Upper West or East Side. We would have been quicker to respond. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Do you think that that is enough for a government, for example, to amplify a response? Deborah Lipstadt: Well, certainly a local government, this was happening in New York, but as it became more national, and there's something else in the strategy addresses this. That government can't really deal with, but it can call out. And that's the normalization of antisemitism. And the strategy speaks very directly in the beginning, when it's something I'm paraphrasing, when politicians, when actors, when rap stars, when sports figures engage in anti semitism and amplifies it in a way that it hasn't been before. Government can't stop them. We have that pesky thing called the First Amendment and we all treasure it.  Even though sometimes it can make us gnash our teeth, the good comes with the bad, or the bad comes with the good. But the normalization, so with the strategy. And when the strategy was rolled out, I spoke from the podium of the White House, one of the things I said: government can do a lot.  Congress is already doing a lot and is willing to do more. But it calls for an all hands on deck and it has to be a public, the broader society has to be involved in this fight, not just because of protecting fellow American Jews, fellow citizens, but because as I think as listeners to People of the Pod know well, antsemitism is a threat to democracy. I've been talking about it now someone even said to me, the cliche, and I realized that I had been the one to really popularize it, as the canary in the coal mine of democracy. But it's a warning, it's a warning. Manya Brachear Pashman:   You began your tenure with a tour of the Middle East. Saudi Arabia, Israel, United Arab Emirates, Abu Dhabi, right? Deborah Lipstadt: And Dubai. The first stop was Riyadh. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Oh, right. Okay. And in fact, you were just in Abu Dhabi again just a few days ago. Deborah Lipstadt: I was for a second time, right. And where I encountered an AJC's delegation. But AJC has been present in Abu Dhabi in the Emirates for a very long time. Manya Brachear Pashman:   I want to talk a bit about those visits and the Abraham Accords, which is another circumstance that has changed. I mean, your immediate predecessor got to benefit a little bit from the Abraham Accords. But I'm curious if those Accords are removing barriers, helping foster relationships. And you know, that will only continue to improve the relationship between Israel and Muslim majority countries but also, their receptiveness to your message for combating antisemitism.  Deborah Lipstadt: The Abraham Accords are of prime importance. And they've been wholly embraced by the State Department, this administration, and not only embrace, but I've been encouraged to build on them, in part because we see them as a good thing in terms of fostering relations in the region between Israel and these other Muslim majority countries, but also because we see them as enhancing the Middle East enhancing the economy. I mean, it's a great thing when we all go into Ben Gurion Airport and we look up and there's the flight to Atlanta and right in front of it's a flight to Abu Dhabi, you know, or the flight to Detroit, Dubai , you know, it's some people say it's Mashiach, it's the time of the Messiah in that sense.  The Abraham house in Abu Dhabi, which is a mosque, a church and synagogue is magnificent, of course, that's not part of the Abraham accords. So that wasn't, that was generated in 2018, with a visit of Pope Francis to Abu Dhabi, who said, Let us build the church and a mosque, and it was the leadership of the Emirates that said, let's build a synagogue, to make it a complex of the Abraham House, of the Abrahamic faith. So and then of course, Morocco, which refers to its normalization because it's been doing this for quite a while, Morocco that expects 400,000 Israeli tourists this year. I think last year it had 225,000. And then it's just you know, everywhere. And all those things are good things. And then there are countries which are not yet and I've used not yet euphemistically, part of these things, but see them as working and see them as operating. And I think they're very important. Manya Brachear Pashman:   And do you do feel that they are perhaps more receptive to your message and to listening to what you have to say?  Deborah Lipstadt: Yes, of course, I mean, I think even you know, when I went to Riyadh, to Saudi Arabia, I had meetings with high ranking officials, now you can show up and you can meet with the Minister of, I don't know, keeping the paint dry or something like that. Or you can meet with higher level ministers and I met with high level ministers, very productive meetings. And one of my messages was, look, there is a geopolitical crisis in this region, we're well aware that, my country is well aware of it. I work for a government that has hundreds of people actively engaged in addressing this issue.  But that's something in many respects separate and apart from prejudice, and from hatred. And the example, I had this interesting encounter in either Riyadh and Jeddah with an older imam who knew what was meeting with me and he knew what my, what my status was on my remit, was my portfolio was and he said, If Israel solved the Palestinian crisis, there'd be no antisemitism.  So there was a part of me that thought, I think there was antisemitism before there was a Palestinian crisis, I think there was antisemitism, for those in Israel, I think there was antisemitism, Zionism, you need to go back and back and back. But I didn't think that was going to get me anywhere, you know, putting it on my professorial hat, my mortar board as we do at graduation and lecturing him on that. So instead, I said to him, after 9/11, in my country, there was a surge, not of Islamophobia, but Islamic hatred. And as you will remember, I'm sure, there was an attempt at one point to build a Muslim community center, opposite Ground Zero, where the World Trade Center had been.  And in fact that the group that was building it consulted with the Jewish community center of Manhattan, you know, how, what's your experience? What room? Did you build enough? Should we have a gym, swimming pool, you know, et cetera, et cetera. And whatever body whether it was the city council or whatever in New York. New York, the polyglot capital of the United States, refused permission, because they said to build the Muslim community center, adjacent to Ground Zero, when it was Muslims that had destroyed the buildings and murdered the people there, would be an insult. And many of us thought that was wrong. That was prejudice. And I said, why should Muslims in lower Manhattan, a woman who wants a good place for her children to learn about their tradition, or to have an Iftar or whatever it might be a man to go to pray or whatever?  Why should they be denied that right, because other Muslims had destroyed and attacked the buildings? And the man said to me, you're absolutely right. It was prejudice. I said, well, to say that antisemitism is solely dependent on what Israel does or doesn't is the same thing. And he got very quiet. I don't think I changed his mind. But he stopped arguing.  Manya Brachear Pashman:   Do you see any progress toward people understanding it more as a territorial conflict? Deborah Lipstadt: I think so. I hope so. I think it's a continuing, it's not like you get to a point and then well, we're at this point. Now we get to the next point, you know, like I used to lift 20 pounds, I can lose 30 pounds, you know, it goes back and forth. It goes back and forth, depending on the situation. It's a volatile process. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Do you think that getting them to understand it as a territorial conflict would actually fulfill part of your role in terms of combating antisemitism? Deborah Lipstadt: Yes, absolutely. But I think it's also necessary not to do things that are going to aggravate or not to do things that are going to make it harder for some of these countries to follow through with the Abraham Accords, so it cuts both ways. Manya Brachear Pashman:   In May, you and Ambassador Hood attended the annual Lag Ba'omer Festival at the El Ghriba synagogue. Deborah Lipstadt: In Djerba, Tunisia. Manya Brachear Pashman:   The island of Djerba. Tunisia is one of dozens of Arab countries where Jews were forced out and displaced. And I'm curious if you could reflect a little on the situation of Jews in the Middle East and North African countries. Deborah Lipstadt: Tunisia is a different story than Morocco, different story than the Emirates, then Bahrain. In that it does have a very small Jewish community. I think there are 1300 Jews in Djerba, been there, hundreds, thousands you know, years. And it's much more a community in Tunis than in a number of other places. But this festival has been going on for quite a while. And it was really reasserting itself after COVID, after an attack about 20 years ago on the festival. And it was so promising. And when I heard that Ambassador Hood, our American ambassador in Tunis was going, I said, you want company, he said, I'd love it. So we went together.  We visited the school there that is funded by and supported by the Joint American Jewish joint distribution committee, the joint, the JDC, one of the little students showed them how to draw an aleph. It's was very poignant. And we had a wonderful time. And then we went to the festival that night. And it was joy. The night before the deputy minister from the government catered a kosher meal for us, a kosher feast for many of the foreign representatives who were there. And we went to the festival and it was just joyous and we just loved it. We were so happy and meeting people and seeing people and meeting old friends and etc.  And people are the American ambassadors here, which was very exciting. And we stood in a place and I noticed that our security guards were pretty tight security because of course Americans and back to two ambassadors and personnel from American Embassy in Tunis. We're getting nervous I said, it should relax. 24 hours later precisely in that same place, there was a shooting and two guards were killed. Two Jewish one French, Tunisian and once one Israeli Tunisian, were murdered. So it's very sober. Very, very sobering. And Tunisia was that in the beginning, what we say reluctant to acknowledge this as an anti semitic act they talked about as criminality, they talked about it as terrorism. So Ambassador Hood and I together, not together with, but also with president Macron, and the German Foreign Minister, all said this is antisemitism plain and simple. Manya Brachear Pashman:   And swayed them, turned? Deborah Lipstadt: Oh, well, I don't know if we swayed them, but we got them to, he met with the President and met with the chief rabbi. And they changed a little bit, but sometimes it's criminality. Sometimes someone gets mugged on the street, and doesn't matter what they are who they are. But when this guy shot, he was on guard at a naval base. He shot his fellow guard, took a car and drove half hour across the island, to the synagogue, to attack the synagogue. And he didn't say, Oh, they're a crowd of people. I mean, he knew where he was going. And he knew what he was doing. Manya Brachear Pashman:   My last question is, some listeners might not realize that there is actually a separate Special Envoy for Holocaust issues. Deborah Lipstadt: That's right, Ellen Germain. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Your colleague Ellen Germain. Given the rise of Holocaust distortion, trivialization, your candidate, the loss of survivors, how much of what you do now intersects with her work? Deborah Lipstadt: Well, we're very careful. I mean, she's really handling Holocaust reparations issues, property reparations, not that we get directly involved, but in urging countries to address these things. But there's not that much overlap. But there's a great deal of cooperation with us, you know, times traveling together, working together, the more the more. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Are their priorities that you can see for implementing the National Strategy since we started talking about it. Deborah Lipstadt: I think there are so many things in there that can be done large and small. I urge people to download it. Maybe you can put the link on your website. It's downloadable. It's 60 pages, read the whole thing. thing. I have to tell you, I knew it as it was emerging. But at one point when I saw a draft of it, and they asked me to go over it, I was abroad doing it in another country. So complicated. But of course, as I began to read it without going into the specifics even have different issues. I was deeply moved.  Because I don't like to correct my boss, otherwise known as the President of the United States. But when he spoke about it at the White House, he called it the most momentous comprehensive plan the American government has ever addressed and he was wrong. It was the first comprehensive plan that the American government has ever addressed.  Of course, when there've been tragedies and presidents from both sides of the aisle, from all perspectives have condemned, have responded, America has responded. Law enforcement has responded. But this is the first time that the United States government is taking the bull by the horns and saying, What can we do to address this scourge?  And as I said, from the podium of the White House when it was rolled out, probably making history because it's the first time a mishna was quoted from the White House or talmud was quoted from the White House. I quoted from the verse from ethics of the elders, pirkei avot – lo aleicha hamlacha ligmor, v'lo ata ben chorin livatel mimenu. You're not obligated to complete the task, but you're not free from starting, from engaging in it. The United States government has now seriously engaged in it. Manya Brachear Pashman:   Well, thank you so much, Ambassador. Deborah Lipstadt: Thank you. 

Réne Benko ist der bekannteste Immobilieninvestor Österreichs. Zu seinem Portfolio gehören Megaprojekte in ganz Europa wie das Goldene Quartier in der Wiener Innenstadt, der Elbtower in Hamburg und das Upper West in Berlin. In nur 25 Jahren hat es Benko vom Schulabbrecher zum Multimilliardär gebracht. Doch seit einiger Zeit scheint sein Imperium Risse zu bekommen. Steigende Zinsen und hohe Baukosten setzen dem Immobilienhandel zu – das bekommt auch Benkos Immobilienfirma, die Signa-Gruppe, zu spüren. Plötzlich versucht der Multimilliardär offenbar, ein Gebäude nach dem anderen abzustoßen. Und auch mit dem Kaufhausgeschäft in Deutschland scheint es nicht richtig zu laufen. Hat sich Österreichs Immobilienmogul verzockt? Fällt sein Reich Stück für Stück in sich zusammen? Ein Jahr nach unserer Reihe über René Benko schauen wir im Podcast "Inside Austria" nun wieder auf den österreichischen Geschäftsmann. Wir wollen wissen, ob sein Reich wirklich zu bröckeln beginnt, wie es in Schieflage geraten konnte und ob Benko am Ende auf das falsche Geschäftsmodell gesetzt hat.

Rene Benko ist der bekannteste Immobilieninvestor Österreichs. Zu seinem Portfolio gehören Mega-Projekte in ganz Europa wie das Goldene Quartier in der Wiener Innenstadt, der Elbtower in Hamburg, das Upper West in Berlin. In nur 25 Jahren hat es Benko vom Schulabbrecher zum Multimilliardär gebracht. Ein “Wunderwuzzi”, wie man in Österreich sagt. Aber seit einiger Zeit scheint sein Imperium Risse zu bekommen. Steigende Zinsen und hohe Baukosten setzen dem Immobilienhandel zu. Geldgeber sehen Benko mittlerweile skeptisch und plötzlich versucht der Multimilliardär offenbar, ein Gebäude nach dem anderen abzustoßen. Hat sich Österreichs Immobilienmogul verzockt? Fällt sein Reich Stück für Stück in sich zusammen? Um diese Fragen geht es in den nächsten vier Wochen bei Inside Austria. In der ersten Folge haben wir rekonstruiert, wie Benko zu einem der wichtigsten Player am Österreichischen Immobilienmarkt wurde. Mit Bürogebäuden, Luxushotels und Kaufhäusern erobert er mit seiner Signa Schritt für Schritt die Innenstädte.

Jurors in Upper West abandon criminal cases over unpaid allowances

Rene Benko ist der bekannteste Immobilieninvestor Österreichs. Zu seinem Portfolio gehören Mega-Projekte in ganz Europa wie das Goldene Quartier in der Wiener Innenstadt, der Elbtower in Hamburg, das Upper West in Berlin. In nur 25 Jahren hat es Benko vom Schulabbrecher zum Multimilliardär gebracht. Ein “Wunderwuzzi”, wie man in Österreich sagt. Aber seit einiger Zeit scheint sein Imperium Risse zu bekommen. Steigende Zinsen und hohe Baukosten setzen dem Immobilienhandel zu. Geldgeber sehen Benko mittlerweile skeptisch und plötzlich versucht der Multimilliardär offenbar, ein Gebäude nach dem anderen abzustoßen. Hat sich Österreichs Immobilienmogul verzockt? Fällt sein Reich Stück für Stück in sich zusammen? Um diese Fragen geht es in den nächsten vier Wochen bei Inside Austria. In der ersten Folge haben wir rekonstruiert, wie Benko zu einem der wichtigsten Player am Österreichischen Immobilienmarkt wurde. Mit Bürogebäuden, Luxushotels und Kaufhäusern erobert er mit seiner Signa Schritt für Schritt die Innenstädte. Und jetzt greift er nach Deutschland und noch mehr: Mit der Übernahme und Fusion der Ketten Karstadt und Kaufhof wird er in nur wenigen Jahren zum größten Warenhausbetreiber Europas. Es ist ein riesiges, krisengebeuteltes Geschäft mit zehntausenden Angestellten. Ein Geschäft, das mit mehreren Hundert Millionen Euro an Steuergeldern gestützt wird. Benko verspricht die Rettung dieser Traditionshäuser, doch es gibt Zweifel an seinen Motiven und Methoden. Und es gibt dabei nicht nur Kritik für sein knallhartes Geschäftsgebahren – auch das undurchsichtige Konstrukt seiner Firma und enge Verstrickungen mit der Politik werfen Fragen auf.

Rene Benko ist der bekannteste Immobilieninvestor Österreichs. Zu seinem Portfolio gehören Mega-Projekte in ganz Europa wie das Goldene Quartier in der Wiener Innenstadt, der Elbtower in Hamburg, das Upper West in Berlin. In nur 25 Jahren hat es Benko vom Schulabbrecher zum Multimilliardär gebracht. Ein “Wunderwuzzi”, wie man in Österreich sagt. Aber seit einiger Zeit scheint sein Imperium Risse zu bekommen. Steigende Zinsen und hohe Baukosten setzen dem Immobilienhandel zu. Geldgeber sehen Benko mittlerweile skeptisch und plötzlich versucht der Multimilliardär offenbar, ein Gebäude nach dem anderen abzustoßen. Hat sich Österreichs Immobilienmogul verzockt? Fällt sein Reich Stück für Stück in sich zusammen? Um diese Fragen geht es in den nächsten vier Wochen bei Inside Austria. Um zu verstehen, wie Benkos Imperium in die Schieflage geraten konnte, gehen wir noch mal zurück zu den Anfängen. Wir wiederholen unsere Reihe über Benkos Höhenflug: Wie er vom Schulabbrecher zum Immobilienriesen wurde. Worauf sein Geschäftsmodell beruht und wie er mit dem Versprechen antrat, die Warenhäuser in Europa zu retten. In der viertel Folge springen wir dann in die Gegenwart. Wir wollen wissen, wie es um Benko und sein Immobilienreich steht. Und ob Benkos Imperium vor dem Zusammenbruch steht.

In this insightful episode, Shay unravels the importance of consistency and persona development, and brand building. She delves into the concept of flow states, showcasing its essential role in crafting immersive experiences, and unfolds the power of recognizing one's superpower. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Why consistency is as important as authenticity.How to utilize your public persona and personal identity.The Neuroscience of flow states for client retention.How to build a safe community and good experience.Aspirational identity and importance of niching down.How to find your superpower to unlock your potential. Episode References/Links:Fitness Career MasteryFitness Career Mastery PodcastInstagram: @fitnesscareermasteryConservatory Training: @theGroupx_conservatoryGuest Bio:I am a fitness business coach with expertise in talent development, program design and member experience. A creator, educator, and consultant.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Be It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipWaitlist for the flashcards deckUse this link to get your Toe Sox!ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Shay Kostabi: [00:00:00] What you present to the world needs to be specific and consistent. I've been saying this a lot lately. Authenticity is overrated, particularly when it comes to business and being a, a public figure, a speaker, a teacher, a presenter, somebody that's in front of people. Your clients aren't paying for your authenticity.They wanna know that you're authentic. They're paying for your consistency.Lesley Logan: Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It [00:01:00] Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Oh my goodness. Get ready, get ready. This, um, this interview is just going to have so many amazing pieces of advice no matter who you are, what you do, you're going to love this. If you are a fitness instructor, you'll absolutely dive into this. If you are not, but you are someone who's wanting to work for yourself, works for yourself, or is trying to show up in a room that you have imposter in Iran, there is good stuff in here for you.And so my guest today is she Kaabi. I was on her podcast, fitness Career Mastery. Um, she and her husband have an incredible program that they work with, um, fitness instructor, studio owners, and, and you'll hear all about it in this episode, but I met them through a mutual friend who tagged us in a post and then we stalked each other and we love the same blue blockers and we got to know each other.And I was on their podcast. She's now finally on my podcast. And, um, this will be the first of many amazing conversations. I hope you leave this as inspired and lit up as I am. And so after this [00:02:00] little ado, here's Shay Kastabi..And stick around to the very end because we got some outtakes that's been happening. There's always outtakes. Um, and the team does collect them for bloopers on the YouTube, but uh, we're adding them into the end of the pod because you know what you need to know that we are not perfect. You're not perfect, and we're enjoying the process and we are enjoying that.So have a good laugh on our behalf. Love you.Right. Be it babes. I am super excited to have our guest today. I'm gonna be really honest. You already know I'm a fast talker when Shay and I are in the room, you may wanna just put this on a normal speed. Because we're gonna get ready to laugh. You're gonna learn a lot. Shay Kostabi is our guest today and I am just so thrilled to have this bright shining light in your ears.Shay can you tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking at. I'm Shay Kostabi: dying. Um, I'll give you my labels. Is that, that's like the easiest way to introduce, um, who I am. I mean I, uh, I am a creator. I'm a mentor, I'm a teacher. I am an [00:03:00] experience designer. I'm a brand builder. I'm an idea generator. Um, I'm a fitness business coach.My husband and I have a business called Fitness Career Mastery Podcast of the same name, which is currently on pause. But there's something like 200 episodes for you to listen to if you're interested. Um, Everything about how to create a successful heart led business in the fitness industry, and also how to create meaningful experiences that keep people there and, and really change people's lives.And, um, I also do what you do. I travel to train instructors. I build programs for boutique studios, primarily in cycling bar and hit training. I've, you know, lived all over the world doing that. And we were just talking about your upcoming trip and I love getting paid to go to like an exotic location to work and like explore.I love travel, adventure or culture Lesley Logan: all over the... I agree. I'm not saying that if you're in a non exotic place, I won't go. But I am saying that if it is an exotic place, you're more likely to get a [00:04:00] yes. Shay Kostabi: I I'll, I just got back from Indianapolis, which is like a super cool city, like Lesley Logan: in mind good things. I have heard good things.I have not been there. Um, we've actually, in Indiana, we've spent many a days in Fort Wayne, which people are like, you know, Fort Wayne. We're like, yep. Actually we've, we've done us some, some stuff there. Shay Kostabi: We could swap stories. I've been there too. I love it. Lesley Logan: Well, okay, so what I love is how multifaceted you are, and I know our listeners, um, what I hope you all heard from that is sometimes I think people think, oh, I'm not just one thing or I have to be one thing, and it's like, actually you, you've, you're layered, you know, it's not like you started out doing all of these things, but you, you, you have, it's grown into these things and I'm wondering like, can we take a step back and just how did you get into like working for yourself?Because I feel like that is always its own story and own Shay Kostabi: journey. Yeah. Ooh, okay. Keep it short. You know, I come from a family of artists and entrepreneurs, everybody around me was [00:05:00] running their own business in some way. My dad has always been, um, self-employed. Um, my uncles are famous artists and musicians.My grandparents are immigrants who made their own way. And so, and I'm very proud of that. And I think I just had role models who are like, you don't have to subscribe to the status quo or the norm. You can be whatever you want to be and you can create it yourself. And it was almost expected that you would do that in a way.Nobody pressured me to go to college. Nobody said I had to be a certain thing. Um, so Lesley Logan: That's so cool. I just wanna highlight that because I feel like. That is, I was the opposite. It was like getting to college. Cause that's the only way you're gonna get out, no one works for themselves in my family, like the one that did, they're like, he's kind of crazy out there.He thinks he's got this Shay Kostabi: idea. I I, I'm from a family of crazies, so, you know, uh, so that feels good. And I, [00:06:00] I, I'm so grateful for that. Um, so I've kind of always wanted to do my own thing. And we talked about this on our podcast, you know, making jewelry or shoes or whatever it is. I've just been doing it since I was young.I've also, like, one of my favorite things to play when I was little was teacher. So I would always invite my friends over and give them spelling tests. So these, these, these things that I list I've been doing since childhood and, and I, I think we're gonna talk about this day, it really comes from like knowing your superpowers.Like knowing Yeah. At, at the core of who you are and what your interests are and what your skills are, and then going out and finding new skills and abilities. But I fell into fitness is like my fourth career. Yeah. And I was working for a corporate business and also doing some things on the side like product development and programming and some other stuff kind of under the table.And that, that was really starting to pique my [00:07:00] interest and I really don't fit into corporate atmosphere. I am such a rebel. Lesley Logan: Oh my gosh. I didn't think I was a rebel, but I was, I was asked to, to, to Shay Kostabi: quit. I really have a difficult time following rules that don't make sense. I love rules. A and I'm really good at making them for other people.Yeah. But they really have to make sense. And I have so many crazy ideas. I think there's a line in Alice Wonderland that's like sometimes I wake up with as many as a hundred new ideas before breakfast. Yeah. And I used to have that written, I'm like that's me. Yeah. And that's annoying. You work in a corporate infrastructure, like, we should be doing this.And they're like, shut up and teach your class. You know, Lesley Logan: they're like, it's like, and they'll, they'll do it next year and that's fine for them, but like, you're like, I wanna do that. I'm beyond that idea now. Now I moved onto this one. Shay Kostabi: Um, yeah, I could tell you stories about of, you know, I saw a vision of like where the company should go.Um, that actually has happened, is in the world now, [00:08:00] and is something that everybody knows. And I was like, we should do this. And they were like, no. And now the company's not in business anymore, so whatever. Um, you know, it's like, I wanna just make this stuff happen. So, yeah, I, um, I had like a big life change, honestly.I had a divorce, I went through divorce, um, a bunch of other things. I, I was living in New York. I moved to California and I was like, I wanna start over. I just wanna do my own thing. And, um, I was teaching part-time at a studio, but I just started, I don't, I honestly, I don't remember people just started calling me.Yeah. Like, can you help me build this program? Can you teach my instructors this? Um, when you just out there and you make yourself visible and, and you, and you're presenting your skills and your abilities, and people see who you are, they offer you things. You know, I, I got a sponsorship from New Balance that helped, like, I was one of seven female ambassadors and, you know, on a salary and traveling all over the country.So I met a lot of people and that gave me the freedom to be like, well, what do I wanna create? Lesley Logan: But I think [00:09:00] that you just hit the nail on the head. Like you, I think a lot of people, one will say they don't know what their superpowers are, they don't know what their strengths are. They don't know these things. And I actually think that they've, they've been looking and comparing so much to so many people.They've actually stopped look at the mirror and realizing what they do have. And they're afraid to actually be different. They're afraid to be the person with the ideas in the room that gets turned down. They're afraid that no one will listen to 'em. And as you and I just found out, like. We've had many ideas that we've had, and people are like, nope, nope, not doing that.And, and yet the people in the room that are hearing you, they talk to people like, I can't. I, the, some of the opportunities I had in the fitness world in LA was not because of like, like I went pounding the pavements to like knock on that person's door. But it's because I would not shut up about the thing that I loved and was so passionate about.Yeah. And someone told someone, I even heard someone tell someone about me in a woman's bathroom in LA which was hilarious. I was like, should I come out of the stall or should I just sit here while they're talking about me? [00:10:00] But they do, because people wanna help people and they'll say, I need someone like this.Like, oh, I actually know someone. She might, yes, maybe she knows. Like, it's like that kind of a thing. But if people don't know who you are, what you do, how you rock at it, they can't, they can't put your name in the Shay Kostabi: hat, you know? Right. And the trick is truly like authenticity is, you need to be authentic.You need to be real, you need to be true to you, to your spirit and, and what really resonates with you. It has to be real. But beyond that, it needs to be what you present to the world needs to be specific and consistent. I've been saying this a lot lately. Authenticity is overrated, particularly when it comes to business and being a public figure, a speaker, a teacher, a presenter, somebody that's in front of people.Your clients are paying for your authenticity. They wanna know that you're authentic. They're paying for your consistency. They want to [00:11:00] know that, um, you're gonna be there for them, right? And that there's some accountability there and that they can bank on a certain number of things to help them get what they want.And if you are unclear on things like your core values, your interests, your abilities, your skills your purpose, your mission, your superpowers. You know, human beings are so multifaceted. You can show up as like something different all the time. And you're like, this feels good today. And then people are like, wait, but I needed you to be this.Yeah. Like, that's cool too, but I really needed you to be this. You know? Yeah. No, I Lesley Logan: think, uh, you know, I think that is, I think so many people, like I need, like, they do wanna focus. I'm so authentic. I'm so this, and it's like being consistent doesn't mean you're not authentic. It just means that people need to know that you, when you say you're gonna show up, you're gonna show up, that the class that you're gonna teach is, is what they expected from last week.Yeah. Like, people actually [00:12:00] think you can change the music, but even that, you can't, they don't want country next week if they've been doing nineties hip hop. Like people, like there's something about that consistency that's what they're paying for because people need certainty. More than anything they need to know that like what they're paying you for is what they're gonna get week after week.And it's so hard when you're a multifaceted cuz you feel like you can be boxed in, but there's still ways of being your authentic self. And showing up consistently. It's a, it's just, it's a, it's a practice. Yeah. Shay Kostabi: And whether you're a personal brand or a brand or you know, a product, you are a reflection of the consumer or the audience's identity.Right. Like, I see myself in that. So, you know, when you walk into a Nike store, there are certain things that you expect if, if you walked in and Nike didn't look like Nike, you would be like, what happened? And there's a, almost like a loss of your own identity. Like, this is what I expected. The same thing when people come to your class, right.They're expecting [00:13:00] we go to this, when we go to the movie theater, we have expectations about what the rituals are like and the expectations and the services and the atmosphere. When we go to a concert, you know, our favorite artists, we expect, you know, a certain level of quality that is consistent throughout time.Lesley Logan: I love that you're bringing this up because I think like when I call up about being it till you see it, I am not talking about faking it till you make it. And that's a very different thing because I think people can misinterpret this like, oh, I need to be like this so that I attract people. But it's like, actually you said it.People are attracted to you cuz they see something in you. So the more you can be the version of yourself, you're like on this planet to be, the more you're going to actually be able to be doing this, whatever this is forever. For as long as you want. Yeah. And authentically. And consistently. And, and you're not gonna have to wake up one day going, I don't know who I am, I wanna change course.And [00:14:00] you, your people are like, uh, this isn't the, this isn't the story I wanted to be into. All those things, they're gonna feel like, Ugh, what just happened Shay Kostabi: here? Totally. Oh my gosh. Have you ever gone to a class where one day the teacher comes in and she's like, shaved her head or like done, or like has like a whole new persona and you're like, Are you okay?Lesley Logan: Right, right. I I, um, well, like welcome to LA um, you know, it's a little distracting. You almost need them to address like, yeah, I donate my hair or something. Just so you can go, oh, they're still them, but if they're (...) , Shay Kostabi: yeah. Well, so you're allowed to change and evolve. Mm-hmm. And you're also allowed to just like abandon a persona that no longer serves you.You know, um, this is so funny. We're moving into, this is something that I teach that I'm deeply passionate about. I, I'm actually teaching a masterclass tomorrow and persona development for fitness instructors. And, um, it stems from my personal experience, my background in [00:15:00] theater and playing characters, and also what I've just learned about, um, You know, being a public figure and stepping in, in front of people as yourself, not as a character.Right. Yeah. And what it takes to like, play big in the arena that you're in. Yeah. And you know, a, a persona is a, um, like it's not a character. It's not a mask that you put on, it's not something, it's not that fake it until you make it. It's a, a version of your best self, your most refined and intentional self.It's the version, it's, it's how you are perceived by other people. So that's really important and something that I think a lot of instructors in particular don't think about. It's not just, I want you to see this. You have to find that intersection between what you would like to transmit. And how that's actually resonating and what your people want to receive.Mm-hmm. And that takes some [00:16:00] adjustment. And yeah, there's a big difference between, there's some people that just have so much charisma, you know, and talent and, um, you know, charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent to quote RuPaul. Lesley Logan: Right. And, um, one of our favorite people Shay Kostabi: on this planet, right. And they just seem to have this God-given gift, you know, and they're operating purely on intuition and instinct.Yeah. Which is great. And, and so powerful, like use that, tap into that, but that's also very primal and very dangerous and inconsistent. Yeah. And so when you use tools and you show up with intention, the intention that you bring is what dictates the outcome. So now you have more control about how you are connecting and relating and resonating with people because you have made specific choices about how you're gonna show up in the room.And that starts with knowing who you are. Yeah. We do have to create a [00:17:00] persona that seems like a, like a character, right? Yeah. Like we need that Superman for Clark Kent. Yeah. Like we need that because we play small in our lives and we don't always use our superpowers, or we're not conscious of them or, um, and then when you step into the arena, when you step in front of people, you need to be at your highest frequency.Yeah. You have to be. And sometimes that requires calling in, there's so many exercises that you can do. You might think about a spirit animal or, um a famous person that you admire. Or even like, it could be qualities of your grandmother, which I often pull in. She was such a badass. Yeah. You know, um, but sometimes we have to like, kind of put that on so that we can step into who we really are.Yeah. And our, our most potent, our most Lesley Logan: powerful. I mean, the persona is almost like the Be It Till You See It. Like it's kinda like that. Yes. And [00:18:00] some of my best classes that I ever taught when I was a new teacher, when I was sick, because like I didn't want anyone to know I was sick.Yeah, right. And so like, I like stepped into that and I was, and I remember going, wow, that was one of the best classes. People was like that was the best class. I'm like, what is different? And it's because I was like, oh, I didn't want anyone to know that my vibe was low, so I brought my vibe as high as I could.What if I did it all the time? But because I Shay Kostabi: And when you're not, yeah, when you're not sick and (...) Yeah. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Wow. Exactly. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine Unstoppable and, and then also, I mean, I think what was unique about when I first started teaching is like when I left the class, I was still in the space, right?I was in a high-fitness club, so I couldn't like turn off. Yeah. Because I'm going to the locker room, the same bathrooms that everyone else is using. And then I'm going in here and I've been in those classes, but the person's on, and then you see them grabbing their stuff and they're like, uh, Yes. Like they're just not there.And I never wanted people to feel like I was inauthentic. I always [00:19:00] wanna make sure that they felt like who I was and who they were taking class with was very similar. But I can't be at that vibe all the time. Like, no, obviously there's other things, but one of the best compliments I ever got ever is that when I met these people in Australia, they said, you're exactly the same on in person as you are online.And I'm like, yes. And that is, I think, where people, people get the persona thing confused. They feel like they have to act like somebody. And it's like, no, you have to act like the person you actually wanna be and you'll, you're gonna bring yourself up to that level. And then, but people, the intention you have behind is what people are going to gather up and they'll come along the journey with you. Shay Kostabi: Yeah. Yes. Take them on the journey. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna pull it like a bunch of threads here. Yeah. Number one, you have to be able to take it off. Right. That, that high, you can't operate at that high frequency. You may sometimes need to carry it into the lobby, into the locker room, into the parking lot.Right. You will have to carry it, but at some point you have to be able to [00:20:00] say that is for this space. Mm-hmm. And now I, I get to be something else because the other thing you said about, um, when the person said you're exactly the same on camera as you are in person. Right. Those are different, but they're also the same.I doubt very much that you're the same person on camera, that you are, you know, when you're in bed reading a book or like watching a movie with your husband, like there has to be some separation there. Yeah. And, and there's so many reasons why that's beneficial. You teach the worst class of your life.Somebody tells you they hate your music, they don't like your face, they don't think that you should be teaching this modality because you don't look like X. Yeah. You know, or whatever the deal is. And you cannot internalize that. You can't take that. Everybody has an, when you put yourself in front of people, you are just opening the doors for criticism.Yep. Every single person in that room has an opinion of you. If they're your followers, if they come all the time, they're your clients, your members, they think very highly of you. But [00:21:00] there's always gonna be somebody in there like, why is she wearing that? So...(Lesley: oh yeah). Lesley Logan: And that, and that can't be, that can't be something you internalize.It's just why there has to be the part of you that's like for yourself. Yeah. And, and that you get to, you know, when I walk my dogs for sure, you guys, I don't look good. I'll tell you right now, I, my neighbors probably are like, who the hell? I like wear the biggest coat with the biggest hood up and over and I play a video game while I'm walking my dogs.Shay Kostabi: And that's authentic too, right? Yeah. That's authentic to you. But that doesn't belong in the space where you are a teacher and a leader. So that's what I mean. It's, yeah, it's the ability to turn aspects of yourself on and off so that you can show up, as I said before, and you're most potent and powerful.And actually make the change that you seek to meet, make for the clients that you serve, or for whatever it is that you're showing up for. And, um, you know my, like a great example, my [00:22:00] name's not even Shay, that's not my name, it's not my nickname. Nobody called me shay growing up, I was working at a studio on the Upper East Side at the front desk, and they asked me to come in and take, they were first, they were like, if you want to work here, you have to take the cycling class.And I was like, I don't like bikes. Um, I took the class and I fell in love. Um, they invited me into the training. A couple weeks, weeks later, I was on the podium. My mom fell over on the floor laughing because I cannot ride a bike outside. I mean, I can, but my risk of getting hit by a car is pretty high. Um, so, uh, and I was just, I, I mean, something clicked.I was like, this is for me. But the manager came in and she was like, so, your name doesn't fit on the board. And this was when we had, you know, chalkboards that people would, oh, your name doesn't fit on the board. It's too long and it's too hard to spell and [00:23:00] pronounce and remember. And she said, and I said, great thanks.And she said, do you have a nickname? And I said, no, nobody has ever had a hard time saying my name. That's not true. Everybody has a hard time saying my name. But, uh, she said, can we call you Shelly? And I said, not if you like your two front teeth. And uh, and so I said, I have one friend that one time randomly called me Shay and said, my alter ego should be Shay.And I didn't even, alter ego, that's like not even something I thought about. And she said, how do you spell it? I said, I have no idea. I have no idea. Um, and I, I really wanted it to be like c h e, like Che, but I, that's Lesley Logan: not right. (...) No, like in, based on this whole conversation I want it to be phonetic.Shay Kostabi: So I was like, as long as it's not s spelled like the cocoa butter, I don't care. Um, so she's spelled s h a y and I became Shay and I loved it because I was a brand new instructor. Uh, I was [00:24:00] teaching on the Upper West, upper East side, excuse me. Which if, you know, it can be brutal. And um, I was still working as an actress and so it allowed me to kind of play the character of fitness instructor and not feel like.I don't know. It just allowed me the space to just show up to this one place and do that one thing at that time. And Shay was like, so cool and so powerful and like funky and funny and Shalene, which is my real name, is like kind of, you know, was like insecure and still trying to find her place in the world and all of those things.I'm all of those things. Yeah. And now 15 years later I, I'm, I don't currently teach, like I'm not on the board anywhere, but I'm still Shay. Yeah. And she feels exactly like me. Like they're the same. Yeah. It almost helped me. Right. [00:25:00] She Lesley Logan: is the real me. This is the Be It Till You See It story. Yeah. Like this is it.Like, yeah. I, there you go. Like that. You know what's okay. And, um, I, I definitely wanna, I wanna get into what you're passionate about right now, but I just wanna say like, I, um, resonate with that a lot. Like I, um, I don't know when we started, somebody started calling me LL and that I was like, oh, I like that better.Yeah. Shay Kostabi: When you see it in writing. So like, I got your sheet on how to prepare and it says Lesley will do this, and then later it's like when LL says, I was like, oh, listen up. Pay attention. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Shay Kostabi: There's a little bit of like, there's Lesley Logan: something, you're the boss. I'm the boss. Yeah. And like, oh yeah. So when I go to things like, oh my God, LL and I'm like, it's kind.It's like it is. It is. Um, Uh, it is that next level version of me that I wanna make sure I'm like stepping. That's like, there's this power. Yeah. You know, like Cher has one name, like LL it's, you know, it's two initials, but there's just something about it Shay Kostabi: that makes it like, you know, it's, it's yours. It's unique to you.[00:26:00] And what's interesting is that it's been given to you. So it's a reflection of how people perceive you. Yeah. And then you have a responsibility to kind of live up to that. Yeah. Which means you have to be intentional. You have to be consistent. Right. And it has to be clear because that's what people are expecting of you and it pushes you to like evolve and like be at your best.But also in the appropriate arenas. So that you can. You know, it's so many things, protect you from burnout. Guide you on a very clear career path. Attract brand partnerships. Um, it's, it's, it's a little, it is a bit of like a protection at first, but then it ends up being like, you know, it turns sort of from your armor into your sword.Like, it's very cool. It's very cool. This Lesley Logan: is so fun. Um, I think Brad's gonna love everything about this. I can't wait for him to listen. Um, cool. Okay. I know you're super passionate about something right now. Yeah. This feels like you're super passionate about. Yes. But I also know there's something else you've been working on.I would love, I wanna make [00:27:00] sure we get into it. So can you tell everyone what you're excited about right now, what you're working Shay Kostabi: on? Yeah. The persona development is part of it. I've been teaching this for years. I've been coaching people through this. I've been helping people define this both from the instructor side and also on the brand side.You know, understanding, um, your persona, your archetype, and your superpowers is so, um, intrinsic to, like, you need that to build a brand. Like it's kind of where you start. And then of course as an instructor, it's like how you show up. And then the thing that I'm most excited about, right, like right now that I talk about all the time, kind of in alignment with persona, they're both very top of mind, is, um, flow states in regards to experience design, particularly in fitness.So I think that stems from, again, my background in, in a family of artists and creatives, musicians, painters, um, the like sensory experience. The visuals, like the quality of things has always been really important. [00:28:00] And then growing up as a dancer and being an actor and also working in production, both in film and um, like in theater.Right. Like all of the psychological cues that are like built into things to draw people into a story and into an experience. Yeah. And then, you know, through the work that I've done through programming and brand building for fitness studios, it's now evolved into, and experience is such a, like a buzzword right now.Everybody's like, it's about the experience, the member experience. And yes. You know, people are like, you need AI, you need tech, you need this fancy thing. And I'm like, whoa, slow down. That's, those are important and those are valuable tools, but like getting back to the basics. Ultimately when we think about an experience, an optimal experience, it's something that is multisensory, that is immersive, that takes you out of the mundane of like ordinary life and transports you [00:29:00] essentially out of time.Mm-hmm. And is so addicting, so pleasurable that you will do almost anything to get back into that experience. Mm. Despite the challenges, which in fitness could be the difficulty of the workout. Yeah. Um, the cost, right? Yeah. And so, you know, I hear all these people, it's like, everybody wants to know, what do I charge, right?Like pre. Yeah. That's something that you coach to, right? ...(Lesley: Oh, yeah, yeah.) Which is so important. But again, when you are super clear on the experience that you're providing and the value and you're intentional, meaning that you can dictate the outcome price, I'm not saying it's no object, like, um, you do have to consider it.And there's so many factors that come into play, but in regards to like what people are willing to pay. [00:30:00] It's like if it's good people are gonna put their money down, they're gonna make sacrifices for it. Well, I think Lesley Logan: you're what? I know you're 100% correct because I was that person I could not afford Pilates like I could afford.So I like you with the bike. I resisted going to Pilates class. I was like, that's not gonna be great. Mm-hmm. And I went to this class and the teacher was so good at making sure I understood, even though it was my brand new class, that I understood how to do the exercise that I, and it wasn't too slow and it wasn't too fast.It was like exactly like, got me into my body and I was like, whoa, what is this feeling that I have? Yeah. And then I got a membership to the, this boutique place where I could go between their five locations. I can go to class every single day. That that membership was expensive. I had to get out of a gym membership that I had because I couldn't afford both.Mm-hmm. And then it was expensive for me at the time. It's nowhere near expensive now, but it was expensive. Isn't that funny? At the time, yeah. And when I moved to LA that membership would be more expensive and I couldn't get to class every day. And I was like, [00:31:00] okay. So then I found a person who could teach me, um, I could afford a private a month.Basically, uh, but she was doing, or she found me a duet partner and I could go every other week. And so I would take my little Pilates book and do it every day at home. And then I would go to this duet twice a month and I would make sure I could afford that. And eventually I figured out a way to afford it every week.I don't know. Right? Nothing changed in my life, but I like made that happen because the experience was so good. And I think people like that, having me aspire to even afford that was actually a journey I needed to go on. ...(Shay: Ooh, that's good.) Um, so that, I, I just, it just was, I, I really valued, I never missed, I never missed my every other week session because I didn't wanna go.So, I didn't wanna miss like a month. So I think like, one, focusing on the experience we give allows people to reason, they'll figure the price out themselves. Like the budget is not our job. The budget is their job at our job is to make sure that they feel so seen, so heard. And [00:32:00] so like they got so much out of that.And too often I hear people, and this is gonna another tangent and I wanna get back to flow states, but hey, like, oh, what should I give people to get more clients? It's like you cannot pay them to tell their friends. The experience has to speak Shay Kostabi: for itself. So they just tell people. Give them, give them a better experience.Yeah, give them, so when we talk about flow states, it's, again, it's that sensation of, well, you tell me. What does being in flow feel like for you? Like when you into that class, what, what are some of the sensations that you felt Lesley Logan: you lose track of time. I did not look at the clock once ever, ever in a class.Good answer. Shay Kostabi: Yeah. Anything else? Lesley Logan: Um, I think it's so, it's so easy to turn off life. Like you can have, like, you can like literally be like lifeing it and like, you know, and then the class starts and like, you forgot the email that drove you crazy earlier that day. Cuz you're like, in that Shay Kostabi: moment. That's called hypofrontality.That happens when a certain number of triggers happen and your thinking brain turns off and so therefore you have [00:33:00] no concept of time. And it can feel, for some people it, it's like, class started and then it's over, and you're like, whoa, what, what just happened? I blinked. That was so incredible. And for some people it's like, oh my gosh, I just, it was like a lifetime, but in a good way, right?Mm-hmm. When time drags, when you're constantly checking the clock, that's the wrong kind of lifetime. But there's other times where it feels really expansive and you don't wanna leave. And so it's a little bit different for everybody, but the suspension of time and turning off of life, um, like that thinking brain are exactly what you're going for.That state is so addictive. So when that happens, your brain releases a ton of chemicals. The ones we always hear, dopamine, oxytocin, um, um, endorphins, anandamides. So there's all of these things. And that cocktail, that specific cocktail is so addicting that humans, it's one of the things we live for, we will seek it out over and over [00:34:00] and over again.Mm-hmm. One of the coolest things about dopamine is that it's the molecule of more. So if you can turn it on, um, you know, as a facilitator, as somebody who creates an experience that, that releases the dopamine. Um, you, you are, you'll, you're always, it never ends. It always will want more. There is no satisfaction.There is no end point. Mm-hmm. So this ties directly into. Um, how long your clients stay with you and how often they come back. So when you start to understand what's actually happening in people's brains and then learn tools to activate, right, to trigger the release of those chemicals and support that suspension of time, and then learn what the disruptors are so that you stop doing them.Now you're starting to create an environment where we can't make people get into flow, right? And it's not guaranteed, but we can create an the environment where that's very suitable for it and it's most likely to happen more often. [00:35:00] And then you've got your clients hooked on your experience in like the best way, like the best kind of addiction.And then you support that with all the of the other things that we talk about right In, in business and when we are all of the things I'm sure you've touched on in your trainings and your, right, but it kind of starts from like, really what we're selling is an experience. And I say this all the time, nobody cares about your workout.You know, it, it, it really isn't the Pilates, it's not the bike. Those, those are the vehicles. And if you, if you do it right, and you use the tools well people are like, I love Pilates. But you, you really could have given them something else as long as you understand how to get them into a flow state, you know?Lesley Logan: Yeah. Yeah. And you know what, like, I think this is this, um, my brain is like thinking, like when people are like, oh, people talk in my classes. It's like, you're not, you're not getting them into a place where they just listen to you. You're not commanding that room. You're, that's your fault. Yeah. Your experience is not, uh, you're not in charge.They're in charge. And so you're not [00:36:00] like that. And, and they will, they'll last as long as they are entertained to talk to each other in that class. Mm-hmm. That's not, they're not gonna be, they're not there for you. Right. So I think this is like, it's such a challenge, um, because it forces us to really own certain values.And I think people are afraid to do things like that because rules and values and, and having things in place require you to repel certain people. Shay Kostabi: So part of building a community and, and an experience for a community is, um, everybody talks about core values, but we don't often talk about constraints.They go together. So you have your, if you imagine a circle, you have your core values in the middle, like that's your operating system. That's where everything stems from. And then you have like, A, a little metal circle with some doorways. Right. Those are your constraints. Mm-hmm. And the constraints are not to keep people out or to push them out, they're to keep the people who truly belong in this community safe.Mm. [00:37:00] Right. And it, so it's not about turning people away, it's about making sure that the people that are right for you feel a deep sense of belonging and appreciation and trust and safety. People like us do this here. People like us do not do this here. And if you want to come play, you can't do this thing.And it's not to punish you or keep you out. It's so that when you're in here and you, and if this is a place you feel like you belong, you feel safe. Oh, I Lesley Logan: love this reframe so much because I do think that people start to feel bad. They're like, well, if I'm not for everybody, then I'm not like doing this thing.It's like, Shay Kostabi: actually, you can't be for everybody. You can't be for everybody. Lesley Logan: You just fucking can't. You just can't. There are people who will hate this podcast. They'll hate the sound on my voice. They'll hate what I have to say. They'll whatever. Like, right. But like if you're like, you, everyone is welcome if you follow these things, these Shay Kostabi: rules.So simple things and these, so this is both about, this is so, this is so great. This ties into community and culture. This [00:38:00] ties into experience and flow states. So if you say door, there is no late entry doors closed. Class starts at seven, doors are closed at seven. You can't even come in five minutes late.Right. People get mad about that, but what you're doing is you are setting standards and expectations, right? And you're key. You are ensuring that everybody who showed up on time and is there, is now fully immersed in the experience without distractions, the door's not gonna open, the light's not gonna creep in.Somebody's not gonna step over your mat or like around your thing or hit you in the head with their bag or whatever the deal is. Same thing with no cell phones, same thing with where you put your personal items and what's allowed, you know, food and drink and all of, um, clothing attire. All of these things are, are really about controlling the environment in a way that again allows for the best possible outcome to happen, the best experience.Mm-hmm. [00:39:00] So you can't feel bad about that because it's serving the people that, that want to be there. It's, Lesley Logan: it's all comes down to like, like for whatever reason, well, not whatever. There's a specific reason. Our brain is so conditioned to the negative that we are not seen that there are 15 people who showed up on time and they actually want to be here on time and they put their stuff where it is and you're like, oh gosh, I don't want this one person who's always 10 minutes late to get mad.And it's like, but these 15 people love you like that, that they, there's 15 of 'em and we are so like, oh my gosh, with this one person, it's like, you got that one person needs to, you have to be the lesson that that person needs to learn, which is, I have to be up on time for things I wanna Shay Kostabi: have change in my life.Right, exactly. Or you shift their beliefs and you get them on your page or they're not for you. Yeah. Yes. Everything you said, you, you nailed it. It's this, Lesley Logan: uh, this has me like this, this has me so excited because I've been really trying to [00:40:00] work on this with, with the people that we work with for years.Because there's this whole, like, if I niche down, then I'm not gonna have enough clients. It's like, well, that's not true. And there's, there's so many people on this planet. that is Shay Kostabi: a false narrative. I can tell you with all the people that we, this is what we specialize in, it's like, you are going to define your niche and you are gonna get hardcore specific.Every single person that has done that has tripled their income within 90 days. Yeah. Because Lesley Logan: also you, there are people, like, there are people who will aspire to be that person and like that. So you, you, it's like there we're, we're so afraid that we're we're gonna, um, that we're, we're gonna leave people out.Mm-hmm. That we're not really understanding that we're, our job is to actually be there for the people that are in. And then those people have such an amazing experience. They, their friends who've been looking for this reason, looking for something to change their life. They're like, Oh my gosh. I'm gonna, I wanna, like, I wanna change to be that person.We have to be, [00:41:00] we have to be willing to stand up for what we believe in and allow people to rise up to that level, because otherwise we're just, it's like a class. You, I, I, I, uh, an all levels class is really hard because you're, if you don't do it right. You're teaching to the beginner who just walked into the class.Yes. And really, you have to teach to the person you want people to be, and then offer options up and down. Right. Shay Kostabi: But, Ooh, let, can I, can I, yes, yes. This ties directly into flow state. Is this so true? Okay. So yes. You always teach, you teach to the aspirational identity. You teach to the strongest person in the room, and then we hear this all the time.You need the modifications and, and the options. The reason for this, the scientific reason is something called CS Level or CS balance, which is your challenge, skill, balance. This is so important and it's kind of a reframe when you think about it this way. In order for someone to have an optimal experience to potentially drop into flow state, this really powerful place that we're talking about [00:42:00] where time is suspended and we just can't wait to get back to it, right?You want people to come back to your class over and over again. The challenge that you provide must match the skill level of the participants. How do you do that in a group fitness class when everybody's at a different level and you have your front row people who are diehards and you've got this new person who just came in.This comes down to how you coach and how you cue and how you program making sure that you are prepared and intentional and, and you and your eyes are open and you're looking around the room. I have been in so many classes where the instructor does not even really look at what's happening.Like that person's knees are buckle. I just watched the class the other day. I'm like, oh, that person can't even squat. Why are you adding squat jumps? Why are you doing that, please? You know? So you have to have your eyes open. And I think when you understand why underneath, so if the challenge is high and the skill level is low, this turns on our fight or flight mechanism.We go into panic and anxiety and [00:43:00] ultimately we feel like I don't belong. There's multiple levels at play here. What you were talking about, that sense of belonging, right? You can't be for everybody. Everybody just wants to belong. That's all anybody wants. And we are so starved for it. I mean, people are sick over isolation and feeling like they don't have a place.You make a place for everybody and you make a place for nobody. There has to be a place. Again, it ties back to where we started, your core values, your abilities, your belief, what you believe your service can do for people. The change that you seek to make. Those have to be really specific because I love music festivals, but I don't wanna go to stage coach, right?That place is not for me. I just because I love music festivals doesn't mean that all music festivals are for me, just because I love fitness or even Pilates does not mean that every Pilate studio is for me and it shouldn't be, right? I don't want to be one of a million, you know? I want to be a [00:44:00] part of something bigger than myself and I want, and you said I wanna feel seen and heard, so again, Coming back to the specifics of it, when the challenge level is high, but the skill level of the participant is low, it's so off.This is when they go back into hyper frontality, they start thinking about life. Right. They're not even listening to you. They're so concerned about their performance. Yeah. They're like looking around at other people and they're like, can I do this workout? Will I ever be able to do this workout? Do I fit in here?Is the instructor gonna help me? And I always teach people when I'm training instructors, like, we really wanna know, what am I doing right? How can I do it better? That might mean the progression or the how can I be better? Yeah. Why am I, why am I pushing so hard sometimes? And then when it gets really hard, how long am I doing it for?Yes. We don't always need to know. It's only when it's really hard that we need to know for how long. So again, this your coaching, your ability to observe, um, you know, and how you adjust the [00:45:00] programming to help that person get closer to a state where they experience flow. Something called unconscious competence where, uh, you're not thinking about the action anymore.You're able to just perform it. Yes. That's why you give the modification. It's not just ability, it's the sense of belonging and inclusion. When the challenge level is low, but the skill level of the participant is high, now we have apathy. I don't care about this workout. Why am I here? We do have to have some challenge.Otherwise there's no point in engaging. Right. When the challenge is high in the skill level is high. This is the most optimal place for people to go into flow. But it's still, it's, it's just so easy, right? Yeah. It's like it matches, I'm like at my best, but you can still have a high challenge with like a lower skill level.Again, as long as you make the adjustments and you're conscious of what's happening and you make that person feel like it's achievable and they belong here, [00:46:00] even if they can't perform the exercise with, I'm using so much jargon, but professionals are listening. Unconscious competence. You know, the ability to just do it without thinking.I actually really Lesley Logan: love this. Um, this is something that like with OPC onlinepilatesclasses.com, it's our website, um, it's a hard thing to do. It's a virtual experience, but it's a community. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So all these things in place to make sure that people feel the community and and our values are, are all over it.But one of the things that I'm so, cuz Pilates can be so hard, if you on the mat, it's the fucking hardest. Like, it's just the hardest guys. I. I can, I can give you all the modifications of the world and it's still not gonna get your hips over your head if you don't have the skill level to do it. So one of the things that we love to say, and it's like, and, and I love when I see our members actually say it, is, um, it's brave and courageous to replace this exercise with one we've already done.So if this is not where you're at yet, then whatever we've already done, that was a challenge for you. Not easy. Go to that. It's a challenge for you. Go to that. Just repeat that. Because it's all compounding and we, uh, we say it all the time because I know that we have new people [00:47:00] showing up that's their first time, and we have other people who need to be reminded 28 times now to, to like for it to click.And it's, because also, I don't want people to not ever reach the level of the most advanced exercises, right? Because your body can do that. Your body can do that at a lot of ages. It just has to be built up to it. So I think that this, thank you for the confirmation. I have more confidence in myself now.Um, But also, um, I, I, I also think that it's just been, it's a really great reminder for everyone listening that like, your job is to get people in this flow state, and you get them in there because of the experience you provide and you, you, you give them an opportunity to rise up, so that everyone can be part of this community.You're so fucking awesome. I love you. We, we could talk for hours. We're gonna have to like, have our own like spinoff shows. I think everyone, everyone will wanna hang out. We'll just do a show. Yeah. Um, we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna um, uh, find out where people can find you, follow you, and of course Be It action items.All right, Shay. So you've given us so [00:48:00] much. But, um, before we do our Be It action items, where can people find you, follow you, stalk you, do personal work with you? Shay Kostabi: Ha uh, well first you can go to Fitness Career Mastery, fitnesscareermastery.com. That's also the name of the podcast. Uh, Instagram Handle @fitnesscareermastery.And then specifically for the instructor side, you can go on Instagram. It's @theGroupx_conservatory. So I do conservatory like training. I do a masterclass every single month. I sometimes do like 30 day intensives. Uh, also work with people one-on-one and privately in studio. And you can learn about that @fitnesscareermastery as well.Lesley Logan: Amazing. All right. Bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. Shay Kostabi: Okay, so we've been talking about this the whole time. Superpowers are truly the key to unlocking your potential. As I've mentioned, stemmed from your core values and beliefs, [00:49:00] your unique attributes, your abilities, your skills, your interests.It's the foundation for both your personal life, like knowing your superpowers, um, helps you figure out what kind of community you belong in or like what kind of Pilates studio you want to attend or workout or fitness program you want to attend. And then on the professional side, it really is part of the foundation of building a brand and a community, what kind of Pilates studio you should have and who you're meant to serve.And they're so unique and, and like that really is your differentiator, like how it comes together. There might be other people like you. Like I feel like Lesley and I like hang out in the same like area. But we are not the same. You know, like when you really get down to it and our superpowers are so different, they might be in alignment.So like that's where. You know, Lesley and I can share the same, or we can serve the same people, but how we do that is ultimately gonna be so [00:50:00] unique to us, even if we were going off the same script. So for the instructors out there, once you know this, I could give everybody the same program with the same playlist.It's gonna come out differently from every single person, particularly when you know who you are. And it's like your life really opens up when you get super clear on this. So here's how you do it. You're gonna get out a sheet of paper and you're gonna make like a Venn diagram. That's what it's called, right?Yeah. Circles, three circles, three big circles, and they need to overlap. And there's gonna be like a little space in the middle that makes kind of like a triangle. And in one circle you're gonna write down all your core values. So these are your non-negotiables, the things that matter most to you, the things that give your life, meaning, purpose, and direction.You could do this for your business separately as well. They're, they should be different. There will be overlap, but they should be different. Um, you can Google values, but things like authenticity, consistency, trust, respect, community, um, travel, right? All the things that you're like, if I didn't have these things, [00:51:00] I, I can't operate.And then the next circle, you're gonna put your skills and abilities, both those that you were gifted with by nature or nurture, and some of the ones that you've acquired along the way. They don't have to be things that you like. Just write down your skills and abilities, the stuff that makes you weird.The things like, think about the things that people come to you for and don't just, if you work in fitness, don't just write down fitnessy things. Write, tell all the things that you're great at. And then the last one, you're gonna put your interests. So all of the things that you love to do. And the easiest way to do this is to look at your bank account and your calendar, because you may say that your interest is, you know, books. But if you haven't bought a book in a year, you either need to find a way to get back to that or maybe readjust. Whenever I do this, I'm like, oh, I always say that I love X. And I'm like, I don't do that anymore. So this is a no matter, even if you're like, I know my persona, I know my superpowers. This [00:52:00] is a great exercise to just check in cuz things change.And then in each circle they're gonna overlap, right? So core values will overlap with interests. Interests will overlap with skills and abilities, right? And in the middle, it's blank. You gotta figure that out. This is kind of where I come in and help people usually, cuz it's hard to read the label from outside the bottle.Yeah. But in that center is where your superpowers lie and that is the gift that you bring to the world and you are doing a disservice to yourself and everyone around you if you are not showing up and using that every single day. Both like in the studio and like in your relationships and your life. So quick example is, you know, if I were to look at my core values, some of them are teaching and mentorship, community travel, um, uh, creativity, right?Experiences, and then my abilities are many. I've listed lots of them. Right. Um, and [00:53:00] then interests. There's a lot of overlap there. So, um, just sort of touching on that, when I look at the overlap and I come to my super, one of my superpowers is the ability to take two sometimes seemingly unrelated or even conflicting ideas and finding that intersection to carve out a unique path to mastery, that is ultimately what I do for my clients. Right? I can see both sides. And that is pulled from my experience, my core values, my interests and my skills. Teaching and mentorship is also a skill. Experience design is an, is a skill.I'm deeply passionate about flow states, but I've also acquired the skills. I have taken courses, re read books, um, actually put it to the test like through trial and error. So then it becomes, it feeds into my superpowers and I show up. I talk about these things every day. I use them every single day, whether it's [00:54:00] helping my friend make a decision because they're like, I have this, but I want this, and where do I go? And I'm like, well, don't you see this way? And let's just put it together like this, and here's your steps. Boom. Or a client comes and they're like, I wanna do a Pilates class on an airplane. And I'm like, cool, let's figure it out.You know, whatever it is. So, you know, so ...(Lesley: I love, yeah. I love a puzzle). Yeah. So when you write it down, you're gonna look, you're like, okay, these are my superpowers. And then the next step is really like, think, you know, ask, ask your friends, the people that love you, like, you know, how do, so this tries into persona, like, how do you perceive this?Like, this is my skill. Show me how it, it, like how does that resonate with you? And then you can start to, so many things come out of this. It like, it gives you a mission and direction, a purpose. And when you start from there, you get to bring your best self to the table every single day and work in your zone of genius and find allies who compliment your superpowers. Like build your A team [00:55:00] to like help you. Whether it's a business partnership or a board or just a group of friends who are like, I know you, I see you and you're clear and I can help you. Lesley Logan: Yeah. Ooh, I love this because, um, I think no matter who you are, listening to this, figuring out what your persona is can really help you show up in the best ways for anything that's intimidating you.And anytime that you're like, oh my gosh, I have to like, go talk to these people, it's like, well, That persona is obviously not gonna be scared of those people. And so you can like, show up and, and show off how amazing you are. Shay, you are such a light. You are so fun. Um, I can't wait for our first in-person date of ever hanging out, but we're gonna have a great weekend.We have to make it happen. We're gonna make it happen. Um, thank you so much everyone for listening to this. Thank you Shay, for just spreading all of your goodness. We'll have to have you back. And how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Shay, tag the Be It Pod, share this with a friend, share with five friends.You'll probably wanna listen to it a couple times because we [00:56:00] talked about so many amazing things. Write some notes and until next time, Be It Till You See It. That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram.I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. Brad Crowell: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan: It is produced, edited by the Epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell: Theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell: Also to [00:57:00] Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website.And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on timeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

INTRODUCTION: Deeon C. Brown is the host of the Man Versus Brand Podcast plus he is a life as well as a business coach. Deeon's work explores the intersectionality between brand and the human experience, as such a crossroad is what put Deeon on the path that he so graciously glides down today.  DEEON'S BIO:  Deeon Brown is a business coach and veteran at creating and growing highly profitable business models, managing full spectrum creative programs and developing highly collaborative teams. Deeon is the owner of Project Big Brand, a company that creates, deconstructs or repairs business programs. Deeon Brown is a media contributor and launched his podcast, Man Versus Brand to analyze the intersectionality between brand and human experience. Deeon is based in Manhattan and sees the world as his place of business.  INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): ·      Surviving The Death Of Both Parents As A Child·      Growing Up In East New York·      Violence Over Brands·      Community As It Relates To Brands·      Identity Derived From Brands·      HIV/AIDS Impact On Non-Queer People·      Dealing With Business Loss·      Navigating The Fog Of Grief CONNECT WITH DEEON: Website: https://manversusbrand.comWebsite: https://deeonbrown.comWebsite: https://projectbigbrand.com  CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comWebsite: https://www.DownUnderApparel.comTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexdrugsandjesusYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonPinterest: https://www.pinterest.es/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/Email: DeVannon@SDJPodcast.com  DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: ·      Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o  https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o  TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs ·      OverviewBible (Jeffrey Kranz)o  https://overviewbible.como  https://www.youtube.com/c/OverviewBible ·      Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o  https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ ·      Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino  https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com  ·      Upwork: https://www.upwork.com·      FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS ·      Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org·      American Legion: https://www.legion.org ·      What The World Needs Now (Dionne Warwick): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfHAs9cdTqg  INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: ·      PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon  TRANSCRIPT: Deeon C. Brown[00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: Ion Brown is the host of the Man versus Brand podcast. Plus, he is a life as well as a business coach. All Dion's work explores the intersectionality between brand and the human experience. As such a crossroads is what put Dion on the very path. That he is on today, which he so graciously glides down.Join us y'all as we talk about how Dion survived the death of both of his [00:01:00] parents at a very young age, how he grew up in East New York, and how he witnessed the violence of a brands and how that inspired him to become the entrepreneur and the businessman that he is today. Dion helps people. Deion helps businesses and everything in between.Hello, hello, hello everyone. I'm wishing you all a wonderful life, a wonderful existence, wonderful spirits, wonderful energy, wonderful angels, wonderful loved ones who have gone before hanging around you and bringing you all the juicy and bubbl delicious things that make you feel good and comfortable and cozy.My name is Devon. I'm the host of the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast, and I'm here for my homeboy, Dion Brown, who is the host of the Man Versus Brand Podcast. We're gonna be talking to [00:02:00]y'all about grief and life, and loss and love, and tribe and victory and success, and really bring it full circle for you today.Dion, how are you? Deeon: I am good, man. Thank you dev and for having me on your podcast. Anyone that is watching or listening to the sound of my voice, I hope that you have blessings and balance in your life. I hope that whatever you are experiencing right now is happening for your benefit and I am really, really authentically excited to be on this podcast.So thank you for having me. De'Vannon: Hell fucks. Yeah. So I'm gonna read a little bit of snippets from your biography because your biography is so immense, you know, usually I can do like a, you know, a, a summation or a run through, but you've got a lot going on. So it says, you know, Dion, which I'm here for the having a lot going on cause I'm the same way.It says Dion Brown. He's a business [00:03:00] coach and veteran at creating, growing, wait, creating and growing highly profitable business models, managing full spectrum creative programs, and developing highly collaborative teams. John is, Dion is the owner of Project Big Brand. He's gonna tell us what that is in his own words, but it is the company that creates deconstructs of repairs, business programs.Deion Brown is a media contributor and launched his podcast, man versus brand that analyzed the intersectionality between brand and the humane experience. Dion is based in Manhattan where they got six inches of snow going on right now outside, and he sees the world at his place of bitterness. Yes, sir.So tell us what the the project big brand is. Deeon: Absolutely. So Project Big Brand was birthed like [00:04:00] all of my projects and endeavors out of a need. What I found was that a, a lot of my client, when I was in my. Sort of early thirties when, when I first got to New York were were businesses that functioned in meeting people, but that had, hadn't quite understood the landscape of digital.And so these were like restaurants, museums, galleries real estate. A lot of, of industries that really focused on person to person interaction that thrived in in-person experiences, but didn't really understand how to translate those experiences into profit online. So I started in, in an online space.What I realized though is that folks wasn't really about, [00:05:00] The fact that they didn't understand it, they just didn't have the right talented people on their teams to help initiate the right sort of campaigns and programming that would help them to be successful in that space. So what I ended up doing was being a bit of a recruiter, I would go to companies, figure out what they needed.and then find really talented people that were being underserved, whether they weren't getting traction on their resumes they didn't have the, the, the in the box credentials that seemed necessary for the role. And I would start being like a matchmaker. So I realized I had talent that really was underserved, matched with opportunities that were, that were also being underserved and.I figured out a way to create pairings. And so those pairings worked out with with domestic talent. So, like, you know, in the US maybe you live in San Francisco you, you, you won't consult or work for a company [00:06:00] in New York or maybe even San Francisco internationally. So there's some really great folks that are working in the international space that are, are not necessarily being tapped into domestically because, Of language barrier, time barrier, whatever.And so I just really create synergies. And it's, a lot of it is, is like therapy. It's, it's, a lot of it is coaching, A lot of it is like, what's your goals? What do you want, what do you feel is blocking you from getting there? Give me a missing person's report of someone who would make your life easier.What does an easy life look like for you? And that's just. on a personal level, it's also on an organizational level. Like what makes your organization move easily? What makes your organization happy? What adds to the culture of your organization so that the people that make up that organization feel better about their lives at the end of the day?And so I spend a lot of time working with people a lot of time. B being the bridge in communication and strategy [00:07:00] and systems and tools and and coaching a lot. And, and I. So y'all, De'Vannon: y'all might be wondering what the fact does all this business talk have to do with taboo topics and troubled times?Is it because, because Dionne's story is rooted, you know, in, in grief, you know, and in and in. So in pain and. . And like, like I was saying when I was reading as a bio, the, the intersectionality between like, you know, business and the human experience is very, very intriguing to me. And I've never heard it said that way, you know, or demonstrate it that way.And so before, before we, before we get, you know, more onto like the business aspect of it and everything like that, I want you to to tell us, you know, w like, like in your youth, you know, what happened to set you [00:08:00] on this course? When I was researching you on one line that I pulled, that I'm gonna read was about, you said like from about age nine you used every resource that you could define to connect and buy these brands, and you did a lot of chores and you traded everything that you could find and you hustled.So, So we have before this, you know, Dionne Brown who seems to be doing his thing, but it wasn't that way. So the taboo in this episode is the struggle that it took to get him here. And so, and that, and that's, and that's really, really, really what I want to focus on. So tell me about your childhood growing up in New York.Deeon: So I'm gonna bridge for you guys. A story. And, and I think in the story you'll understand kind of where I am, not only in my personal life, but also in the business life and, and how there is that intersectionality between brand and human experience. So I grew up in East New York and Brooklyn, east New [00:09:00] York and Brooklyn is very similar to like the Comptons of the world where, you know, for a very long time.It was un gentrified. It appeared super dangerous. It was a community that was brought together by like economic conditions, right? Like we, we just could only afford, but so much, and until we lived together, even to this day, very much, very many parts of the place that I grew up in isn't, it isn't quite gentrified yet.It, it doesn't have all of the bells and whistles. The traditional New York setting if you wanna look it up again, it's called East New York and Brooklyn. So, grew up in East New York and Brooklyn and I grew up in the, the, I'm an eighties baby. I grew up predominantly in the nineties and. During that time, it was like the brand explosion, right?You had like Nintendo, Sega, Timberland, the Jordan brand, N B A, you [00:10:00] had Nike, you had all of these kind of mega brands, really having a one-directional conversation with. Right. They were just like, if you want some validity in your life, if you want to feel substantial in your life, then here is something that you can use to represent that validity.And, and I think it's arguable in some circles, whether that was done purposefully on the part of the brand or if it was just the way that that particular kind of consumer. Absorb that information. The reality is, is that's what happened, right? So that meant that folks were killing for Timbalands, folks were robbing folks for eight ball jackets.Kids were fighting over Nintendo systems. It was violent and it was violent over brands. Wasn't violent over drugs, wasn't violent over turf or [00:11:00] territory, it was violent over brands. And so when I grew up, I wanted to understand where all that violence came from. Now add to that, both my parents before I was the age of 12, had both passed.And both of them had passed in some sort of cultural. problem. I, I'm gonna talk about my, both my parents, but very briefly, I'm not gonna get into the nuts and bolts of it because I think that it could be a trigger warning and not only triggering for the group, but it could also slightly be triggering for me.So this is what I will tell you about my parents is that my mother was shot in the back as an E M T worker and thrown into a bay in New York where her body was found later on. My dad. died of H I V in the nineties where there wasn't treatment for it. He was a heterosexual male, but [00:12:00]regardless that no one thought that heterosexual males would have H I v at that time, I think the only real popular figure was like the guy from la, I can't remember his name right now, God forbid, forgive me, but there was just like one person and maybe Magic Johnson, maybe Magic Johnson, and like one other rapper that everyone knew about that had it, that were considered heterosexual males.And so it was truly unknown that this could really happen to a person who didn't identify in the spectrum of queerness, right? And. . Not only was I witnessing violence on a local level, like around me career around these brands, but I was also experiencing it in my own personal life. So not only was I interested.In a curious way as to why people perpetuated this violence. But that violence had hit home for me. Now, not in the same way. It wasn't related to [00:13:00] brands, but it was, it was, it was violence for violence sake. And so I wanted to understand what drove people to violence, but specifically in this social brand.and, and that informed a lot of my life. Like I I, I focused on out of home or advertisements in brands. I focused on analytics and understanding what drove people to make brand decisions. I focused on focus groups and, and brand opinion of different segments of folks. Once I kind of got to the point where I was.Leader in understanding brands, I then repurposed myself into ensuring that brands gave back to neighborhoods that were negatively inflect in, in negatively impacted by their influence. Right? So I had Adidas coming to, not just to the Upper West side, but also to the deep parts of Brooklyn in order to do giveaways and.A lot of [00:14:00] that has been what's informed my career path because I wanted to make sure that I met my own understanding of brands with this childhood that was very much influenced by the brands and how they created for good and for bad an influence on the people who wanted to have a life associated.De'Vannon: Well, my deepest apologies for, for my gosh, for having lost both your parents in such a, you know, in such a way. But you know, thank God you are still here and you know, you're a living testimony to help millions of people out there. And sowould you say, did you say you researched brands and everything like that? . And you, I know you said that the, the turf wars and everything like that was necessarily over drugs, but do you feel like people can become addicted to brands and it becomes type [00:15:00] of a drug? Deeon: Absolutely. I absolutely think so. I think that brands can be a physical representation of.A person struggle to overcome identity issues, to overcome not fitting into to social normative behavior or structures. I think that brands can allow people who feel like they. Are lonely or that don't have community, to find community by creating these very clear and obvious physical representations.And I don't think it's just like the, the high-end brands, I think we tend to think of like the Gucci, the Louise, the, the jewelry, right. But I mean, you can even look at things like Comic-Con or cosplay where people are very. Putting [00:16:00] on the brand of an anime in order to, to align themselves to another group of people, usually not only because they love that brand, but because they're looking for community in, in a very physical, upfront, clear, transparent way.And so I think that that folks can be very much addicted to an association with brands like people can become addicted to To surgeries, to plastic surgeries, to this sort of outward performative individuality that also hearkens to trying to find community. Mm-hmm. De'Vannon: community touches on, on all of us and, you know, we, we are so tribal, you know, by nature and, you know, that is just how God designed us and we.You are always gonna clinging ourselves at be it happy hour, be it the soccer league, be it whatever, you know, we're [00:17:00] not meant to exist independently, you know, otherwise God would've made us that way. So it's about owning that, you know, and acknowledging that, and paying attention to when you're going overboard with it, when you're not doing enough with it.You know, when I got kicked out of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas, you know, I, I became a drug dealer and I didn't realize that I was replacing my church community with a street life. And I was like trying to patch a wound. I didn't realize that all I did was go and try to seek the same thing somewhere else.And you know, my mind wasn't operating that way. But let me see. I had like a super great. Like, like I was telling you before we got on this show, you know, I've been going through this breakup, like I was with that, with that guy for four and a half years. And we're gonna talk about that, that episode coming up here in a couple of minutes.One of the key things that, that, that, that woman said was that when you're dealing through like that sort of [00:18:00] grief, you just have like a numbness and it's like you can't get your thoughts straight , you know, that, you know, that is what I'm going, you know, through, right through right now. But let me just Circle Cir circle back to here.I want to talk about, I wanna talk about your logo. I have a fascination with like logos and book covers and artwork and things like that because I know it says you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but damn it. Why the fuck else are we making the cover? It's not to be judged. You need to get your attention somehow.So yours is super interesting. I see. It's like you're sitting there in your face list, which is a very, very like American Horror Story. Ah, my Deeon: man versus brand cover art. Got it. Ok. Now ok. We're, we're there. Ok. De'Vannon: So in, in either hand you have two different facial expressions going on. Yep. On the light, there's like a light.Ish, blue, kind of surreal. And if I wanna get all gay about it. But then on the other side, , [00:19:00] it is like slightly more demure. That face doesn't look as happy. Your shirt, it's a red shirt that says neck, next level. Mm-hmm. . You have various words in the back on the light side where the sun is. It says like fearless, innovative, creative, un, you know, un.And then on the other side where the thunder clouds are, is like failure and genius. you have like fake it till you break it, but the F is slashed off, which is, turns it into, make it till you break it. But the R in break is flipped upside down and also reversed. Yes. Now you know you gonna have a logo like this and I'm gonna need you to break it down.Cause this clearly you trying to make a statement. Absolutely, Deeon: absolutely . So, so thank you for bringing that up. Alright, so the, the logo is for the podcast. It's the cover art that I use and it, it speaks to this phenomenon that I experienced. During Covid, [00:20:00] right? And, and, and here's what happened.So I was leading a real estate firm that had sales in the hundreds of millions. I had you know, hu hundreds of agents that reported to me. And during Covid, like I didn't have a lot of answers. I didn't have a lot of answers. But not only did I not have a lot of answers, I didn't have a lot of answers for hundreds of agents that were trying to conduct business because.Weirdly in Covid, a lot of people moved. They moved from apartments into homes. They moved from smaller apartments into larger apartments. A lot of people went in backyard space. It was a lot going on. And New York is a competitive market already, so you could already imagine like just what was going on when people wanted to move.And what I realized is, is that I didn't have a safe space to say I didn't know. I just had to come up with. , and I'm fine with that because I think I'm inherently one of those people that is curious [00:21:00] by nature. I, I, I grew up at eight trying to figure out stuff and figure out life and figure out the, the meaning behind death and all that stuff, right?And so now I'm like pretty good at problem solving. . And I have a great group of people around me, but, but what it also meant is that I, I then went to my community, right? Speaking of community and asked them like, yep, I'm going through this, is anybody else? And everybody was like, yeah, like, this is weird.I, I don't have answers and people want me to, or, or I'm, I'm going to zoom funerals and I don't know what to say, or I'm. and, and they want me to come to work and I don't know how to advocate for myself. And so I wanted to create a safe space for people who didn't have all the answers, to not have the answers, and to listen to people who also didn't have the answers.Not have the answers right. I wanted a space where like, [00:22:00] not having the answer was absolutely fine. . And, but what that meant is that I also had to realize that we're all wearing these hats, these masks, right? Like Davanon Davanon is a bartender. He is an advocacy for for demystifying. Prejudices.He is a online store owner. He is a podcast creator. He is a book owner, a book author, right? And, and all of those things are important, and all of them come with their own adjectives, their own thoughts, their own feelings. . And at any given point you get to decide which one of those masks you wanna wear and occupy which identity you wanna occupy.And so in that, that thing, in that artwork, the, the smiling side, which has the sun and the [00:23:00]raining side, which has the sort of more dir face, they're not all positive and negative adjectives, right? You can be unhappy and genius, right? You can be you can be effective and lost. Right? And that's that sort of duality of not having all the answers is.It's okay not to be one thing. You don't have to always be positive. Just like you don't have to always be negative, you don't have to always be happy and you don't have to always be sad. You can decide to embrace the part of the journey, the part of the process that you're in. If you're grieving, you have the right to grieve.You have the right to grieve deeply. You have the right to grieve loudly, and no one can tell you. What is grieve worthy or not like? No one can say like, well, you, that you are only in that thing for a year. It's fine. You should, you'll be over it in a month. Or, you know, that dog wasn't, isn't a person, [00:24:00] so why are you so upset about it?Right? You get to be who you are. And so the artwork is about creating a safe space for people to be multiple things where the next level is on a shirt. It's not visually shown where, where it sometimes. You're gonna fake it till you make it. Sometimes you're gonna break it till you make it. Sometimes you'll never actually make it.That's okay too, right? Sometimes you'll make it in certain things and fake it in certain things and break it in certain things, and that's okay too, right? Where, where sometimes you're sitting in the middle of. Of rain and sun, and that's okay too. And so really all of it is about just being okay with where we are as people and being okay with where we are as brands because we get to be both a person, a human, and we get to be an author, a business owner.We get to be all of those things at once. And none of those things [00:25:00] should suffer because we wanna live completely in, in the truth of them. De'Vannon: That's a damn good explanation. , I think you, I asked you for a breakdown and you broke it the fuck down. Like James Brown, you, you, your last name Brown are you can to the Godfather soul.Oh, I got a Deeon: little, got a little dance. Maybe. Possibly. De'Vannon: You've earned your, your, your purple. Well he probably every color you your, your fucking purple cape today. Whoa. I know what I was gonna say before my mind lost this train of thought. And look, I don't mind. You know, during these episodes, I'm recording right now, you know, appearing all like.Scatterbrained and stuff like that in a week, because you know what I am right now, you know, my you know, my people out here in the world have seen me, you know, my strongest doing my best interviews, but I'm not gonna hide my weakness from anybody because that would be unrealistic. It would totally go against your logoYou know, you know, you know, this is, this is not my strongest time and I'm not complaining. [00:26:00] I'm just letting people know what's going on. You can probably tell and hear the difference in the way I'm conducting the interview, but like the dust from the ashes, I'm gonna rise that we gonna press forward.What I was, what I was gonna say when you were talking about the community aspect of the brands and you know, how we identify we needed for validation issues. This is part of the reason why I started my clothing line, my clothing store down under apparel, which specializes in lingerie's a very like sexual store.And people say like, we carry like plus size clothing. You know, it really, really does my heart, like, good to know that, that men and women who want to, who need like three XL lingerie or boxer briefs can come there and not feel judged. They can feel included, you know, and, and they can feel like them as a, you know, a plus size sexual being is a totally valid thing.You know, just for starters, I get all kinds of like messages from [00:27:00] people and people We have, like men's lace, lingerie, you know, there's a lot of, there's men who identify as straight enough who have like girlfriends and they like wear their, their, they, they would wear her lingerie because they like to cross dress or whatever.Yeah. But, you know, a man's body is completely different from a woman's body and so they really, really appreciate having. Lace, feminine lingerie, that's cut for the male physique, for instance. Yeah. You know, and so there's so much like love in like clothing, you know, it's not just clothes or it's not just a brand or whatever it might be.So, Deeon: so to add to that, right, I think that, . I, I, I, I appreciate first that you bring that up because I think that there is something to performative brand association and then something that tends to be more intimate, like let's say lingerie, right? And, and I think that that [00:28:00] oftentimes, right, the reason why we can't perform that sort of, those sort of associations, those sort of identities is because they don't fit into the tructure.Norm of what society thinks someone should wear. Right. Blue wasn't always the color associated with boys, and pink wasn't always the color associated with girls, right? There was a time period where boys and girls just due to economics would wear the same clothes. Like if you look at some of our old presidents, they're baby pictures.They're definitely in lace and freely clothes. They're definitely in what would be consider. Female attire. Right? And so it's not until society had determined that boy boys looked better in in blue and girls looked better in pink. A lot of it had to do with, and, and sorry for the folks who didn't know this, a lot of this had to do with eye color.Well, I haven't had to do with eye [00:29:00] color. What looked better with blue eyes, what looked better with brown eyes, a lot of it didn't have very much to do with gender. A lot of it had to do with babies and eye colors and hair colors and these sorts of features that typically didn't include non blonde-haired blue.People. So even in our understanding of color association there. Is some sense that, that you may actually fit outside of what the norm is. I know I don't look good in light blue. I look good in reds. All right. And so if I'm, if you're putting me in light blue, it may not work out for me. I look better in reds because that's due to my skin tone and my eye color, right?So there are certain things that work better in certain spaces. And with that conversation around identity, I think there's also one around. The [00:30:00] feel of a person, right? Like not all men are meant to to textually like hard, harsh fabrics. Like there are some people that lace feels natural. and individual to them, and in a way we rob people of their humanity by stating that you fit this gender identity.Therefore you should only like these type of fabrics, these type of colors, this sort of aesthetic. God bless all of the partners of the world that allow their partners to live fully. and honestly in what brings that person joy. Because to be brought joy should never create consequence that is negative.Right? Also I think that [00:31:00] to your conversation around plus size bodies or when they're negatively called fat bodies. And I'm gonna extend that conversation to those in wheelchairs. Those that may have some level of a syndrome those that may be differently abled, blind deaf. Right. I think they're oftentimes robbed of a level of intimacy that moves into romantic and or sexual.I think that people rob them of their, of the idea that these people should also exist as sexual beings. And so creating a safe space of body representation, I believe also gives credence to another person who may not experience. Being outside of a body norm who may exist in an ability norm or outside of an ability norm, right.To also say, [00:32:00] Hey, I am, I am allowed to give myself the right. To feel sexual, to feel desirable, to feel good about who I am, right? And so I do think that brands oftentimes spin their money, their marketing, in order to put you into a performance space to outwardly make you shout, Hey, I haven't associated with this brand.Hey, I look like this. Hey, these are my ideals. This is who I find community. But I do think that there are also brands that allow you to be an individual and to be intimate, and those tend to not be performative in the same way for the mass majority of people. Yes, there's gonna be guys that are wearing lace and putting in on social media.Right, but, but the majority of the median of those people are, are, it's something that is a one-on-one with them. It's something that makes them feel good. It's something that allows them to identify with themselves and not with a community. And I think that's the difference. Intimate brands allow you to [00:33:00] connect to yourself while performative brands allow you to connect to others.And so when you're connecting to yourself and to the desires of yourself and to what makes you feel good as a person. It allows you to be secure and settled in yourself and happy in yourself. It doesn't matter if another person ever sees that you're associated with that brand, cuz it's actually about you and your relationship one-on-one with yourself.Where a lot of performative brands, which tends to be a bit more dangerous, their, their, their job is to. To create a space for you to find community with a bunch of other people and whether you can afford it, whether you should have it, whether this thing is, is positively influencing and adding to your life.It doesn't matter to the brand because the brand is really about you showing others that you have this level of association.Woo. That was a lot. That's right there. That , that was a lot. That said a lot. Sorry guys, if I'm rambling my bad man. This is his podcast guys. He does an amazing job. But you know, I figured [00:34:00] if, if, if, if, if I can shed light, if that helps someone to, that is questioning their own sense of desirability, their own sense of fitting into a social norm, man, listen, do what, what feels right for you?and I promise you, the universe will allow you to be happy for respecting and representing your own wants. If those wants, in fact, don't harm anyone. And if those wants, in fact, brings you happiness, so go for it. De'Vannon: What, you're also speaking to Mr. Preacher because you, you, you, you could have been a preacher if you wanted toyou, you're speaking to the hypnosis effect and the subconscious manipulation that can happen with marketing and branding and stuff like that. And and I always want people to be aware of why they think what they think, why they're attracted to what they're attracted to, why they go about the business of doing what they're doing.And so there's nothing wrong if you want a roag, Gucci, however, if you judge others [00:35:00] for not having Gucci or if something were to happen to you and you lost your job and you could no longer afford Gucci, you should not think less of yourself or anyone else. So it's, it's a balancing act and being not too much nor too little, but being.so that it's not inherently evil, but it's also not necessarily inherently good either because it's everywhere that when you're constantly hit with marketing and it's on social media and all every damn body, you know, the celebrities and everything that is, that is leaving an impression upon you and you really, really, really ought to be careful not to get caught up in it.So, Deeon: so Devan, can I do a quick book drop for, for folks? I'm, I'm writing a book currently. Can I give a quick book drop that feels right in this moment? Do I have your permission? . All right, so I'm, I'm currently writing a book called Life Dysmorphia. Trademark is being filed No, no, I'm just kidding. I already filed, it's called Life Dysmorphia.So we understand what body dysmorphia is, where we see our bodies differently than maybe others do. And we have a negative take on our [00:36:00] bodies and, and, and in, in relationship to other bodies that we see that may not necessarily represent what the mass majority views as our. . Well, I believe that there's also life dysmorphia.I think that we can sometimes judge our lives in different spaces in social intellectual physical spiritual spaces and look at others and go, why don't I? Why don't I have that? Why am I not like that? I don't have this, and everyone else does. And I think that a lot of what we're talking about speaks to this idea of life dysmorphia where we, we don't see ourselves clearly because we don't see ourselves clearly.We start to make purchasing decisions, life decisions. From a place of trauma and pain and woundedness as opposed to being empowered and seeing clearly and representing who we are fully. As I'm working on this book it's being co-authored with my aunt, who is like my spiritual guru. [00:37:00] And and it's something that I'm really, really excited for.So life dysmorphia don't know when this episode's gonna drop, but guys, I promise you this book is coming out and I'm really, really excited about it. It breaks down things that you'll say to yourself in a mirror. A lot of it's is, is, is framework on a mirror conversation. That you have with yourself and that mirror talking back to you as it actually sees you and not how you see yourself.And so it's based on mirror conversation. So if you've ever looked in a mirror and said, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not attractive enough. , I'm not spiritual enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not a good enough parent. I'm not a good enough friend. Right? Then, then, then this book is gonna be a way of the mirror and your future self, or your whole self talking back to you and giving you not necessarily an answer that you are or you aren't, but giving your perspective to think about it differently so that you can be happier and more set in your life.And, and, and work toward the healing that it would take for you to [00:38:00] embody the things that you ultimately wanna be. So, shameless book plug. It's coming out soon, guys, coming out soon. De'Vannon: And, and just like the saying, I speak massive healing, healing, healing over all of you nations because my God, do we need it?And so we will be behalf of the, to, to get a copy of that book and have you back on to discuss it because, you know, I'm a book nerd and so. Speaking of the intersectionality in between brand and the human experience, there was a show from your podcast. So so as Dion has mentioned, he has a podcast man versus brand Alo, along with his entrepreneurial work that he does at all the businesses and things like that.And now he's about to be an author, you know, he's wearing all the faces and all the hats. So from his podcast, there was this one show entitled What We Can Gain After Experiencing. And this was conducted with a certified grief coach whose name is Nazarene Ahed, [00:39:00] who is a professional certified coach.That's important. Not every coach out there is certified. There are certain certifications you can get. Not saying the non-certified ones are terrible. They're saying that that's a, that's something I appreciate seeing. And so in this episode, Dionne talks about. This, this company that, that, that, that, that, that you kept referring to as fledgling.It was suffering and striving. And you came on board and you eventually, you got promoted to partner and you really helped to take them from the shadows into the light. There was an online based business and something happened where you no longer had it, and you went through grief to the point that you had to go to therapy.Now, I never heard anybody talk, you, you, you talking about grief. Somebody didn't died, you done broke. The dog's dead, you know, the house and burn down, you know, or something like that. But this is, this is like a tie-in to a [00:40:00] business and branding and grief to the point that you had to see a therapist and so, and you're not the only one.There's many people, you know, you hear about successful business people losing a business deal and hurting themselves, killing themselves. People take financial and business laws hard, you know, speak to us about, . Deeon: So I think that oftentimes when we grieve, we, we grieve over the future of possibilities, right?And, and the future of possibilities might be, I, I, my grandmother should have been there for my wedding. My dog will no longer greet me when I walk into the door. The business that I had worked hard for is no longer operat. and I think that we, we are, we are, we have been socialized to believe that there's this hierarchy to grief, that grief is [00:41:00] supposed to be structured, and there are certain things that are at the top of the grief.Triangle pyramid, right? Like death of a parent or a child, and then it moves into death of a a partner, then death of a sibling, then death of a friend. We, even social has to believe that death has this hierarchy of influence in our life. And also that there is a finite time in which you should grieve, and then at some point you're supposed to get over it.What I realized though is that so the. personally, right? So I can only speak personally guys. The loss of my parents early on created in me this very deep wound of abandonment and loss, right? And so for me, things that people would otherwise find traumatic, I tend not to, right? So I don't know. I get, I'm in, [00:42:00] involved in a car accident.I'm, I'm okay medical emergency, I'm okay. Things that people would be like, wow, you know, it takes a strong person to experience that typically. Okay. If I experienced this sense of loss, it triggers in me a version of myself that is now eight years old and powerless to do anything. And so for me, the need for therapy was representational.I, I, I didn't really need to solve the fact that this company went under, I needed to solve the fact that lost hit me so deeply that it was paralyzing. To the other things that I needed to accomplish in order to move forward. And it's something I still deal with. Like I still deal with laws very tough.I have a tough time with laws. I still deal with life occurrences where things like that happen and I take it very [00:43:00] much to heart. I have over empathetic feelings about people who experience loss. And so I still see the remnants of it. I just think that I've now have the tools and the skills in order to understand why I'm experiencing these feelings, what these feelings are rooted in, and, and understand that that even though the feelings.Could feel deep and they could feel overwhelming. It could feel that I'm in this endless ocean of pain, of loss, that all I have to do is wade until I see a direction and then I can swim. The other part of me thought it was either drown or. Right. What therapy taught me is that you actually have the option to wait to just tread water and to just look around and get some assessment of where you are and why you were there, and then [00:44:00] move when you feel led to move, because there's in fact a clear direction for you to move in and that clear direction.May be a passage of time. It may be a circumstance that occurred. It may be a revelatory moment or dream. I don't know what that looks like for any individual person, but there's a moment where, , there is something beyond the fog of pain and trauma and misery and whatever that thing is, you can decide to move in that direction, or you can decide to tread more to war water and wait until you see another direction that may be more suited to you.The point is, is that you don't have to drown or swim, and so whatever that lesson looks, , whether it's dropping outta college, whether it's losing your job, a divorce, a breakup, a loss, right? It's important that you [00:45:00] as the listener, as a person experiencing it as a person who's experiencing it in relationship to someone that you know or love.That you acknowledge that not only could you be one experiencing the pain of the very circumstance that you're going through, but you could also be experiencing a remnant of a deeper, more rooted pain that this brings up for you, that this conjures for you. And so not only are you dealing with the circumstance you are today, but you are also dealing with.The accumulation of other circumstances that you either did or did not deal with that feel, that emotionally feel similar to this, right? Because our brain is nothing but chemistry and processing of emotion. That's all we have. Memory is emotion. Brain thought is emotion, right? Do do, is it important for me?Study and learn, or is it not? And what, what motions are, am I applying that to right? Do I feel happy when I'm successful? Do I not feel happy [00:46:00] when I'm successful? Those things start to drive the way that our brain processes information. Our brain also, in order to allow us to move forward in life, pushes things into our subconscious mind so that everything that ever happened to us as traumatic isn't brought up every day.Could you imagine demanding waking up every day and remembering every traumatic thing that happened to you all the time? If your brain processed that way, how little you would actually get done in your life, right? And so sometimes when we talk about triggering, we're talking. Our brain reaching into our subconscious mind and pulling up that circumstance that has been hiding from us and going, you remember when that happened?You remember that ? Do you remember that? That was crazy. Right? And our brain becomes fixated on that moment, right? That's a trigger. And so sometimes I think that we, we, we, we do ourselves in disservice by by belittling or reducing what's currently happening to us as if there weren't other things that happened to us.[00:47:00]The body remembers. The brain remembers, right? It remembers trauma, remembers joy, it remembers happiness and remembers pain. And so, one, I would just say, you know, guys, what I've learned is, is like, you know, don't discount the past. Don't discount the other things that you've been able to successfully bury.Whether it's by your own conscious thought or whether your brain just did it for you because it was kind and wanted you to move forward in. And the other is, is to, to not be afraid to, to not move in a direction, not to be afraid to just wait. It's not paralysis. . It's just waiting for a direction to be made clear to you.And it beats oftentimes swimming or drowning as an option because you're allowing yourself the space and breath to really find out what's next for you. And the world oftentimes wants you to move on because everyone else is experiencing trauma. You get to decide that you just [00:48:00] wanna sit for a. and figure out what's next for you and Wade in the grief and the feelings that you're experiencing until something else comes up that allows you to move forward, not move on, just move forward.De'Vannon: I feel like that, that, that sounds wise and, and smart, I feel like like's more easily said. You know, in a, in a lot of cases for a lot of people. Because you know, like in my case right now I have like a lot of like anxiety. Like I just want to go and do something. But what you're saying is the right thing to do is to, to wait till things settle.But you know, a lot of people don't do that. You know, we go get into, you know, bad habits, you know, be it drugs, alcohol, you know, dangerous sex or whatever the case may be, excessive spending, you know, whatever. . You know, the case may be we get into destructive behavior sometimes when we begin to act out, when [00:49:00] we, when we've lost something.Although the wise thing is to sit still , I don't know, a lot of yoga, a lot of meditating, a hell of a lot of praying, you know, and all of those things to help to settle your emotions because it's not good when we're dysfunctional still, when we're trying to function as we tend to make a lot of mistakes that way.Deeon: Well, I, I hear, I agree with you. Right. But I do, I will say this. That. Okay. So the first thing I think is, is that our brain, are wired to understand again, emotion, right? So, so, hey, if, if from 17 tovan into 24 drugs were the way that you found happiness, even if you've grown out of that, even if you heal from that, your brain still remembers that drugs is the way that you found happiness, that sex was a way that you found happiness.And so when you are now experiencing unhappy thoughts, your brain's gonna go, all right, let's get him happy again. Let's get him. . [00:50:00] Right? It may not be safe in a social context. It may not be safe in a rational context, but your brain is looking for when you felt safe, right? And so when you felt safe might have not been yoga.And so yoga don't seem like an option for you right now when you felt safe might have not been reading. So reading might not be right. The, I think the thing is when you're waiting is to understand, right? And to not move in a direction, but to just take an assessment of where you are, right? If, if. if engaging in sex is something that feels like a direction for you, all I'm saying is that your, your, your, your options aren't to swim directly to it or to sink because you're not doing it.It's just to wait and make a an informed decision for yourself, right? So if you know, hey, I'm, I'm likely to, I'm starting to get urges to engage in promiscuous sex. Well, what can you do to mitigate some of the [00:51:00] long-term consequences so that when you are out of this space that you're in, that you haven't caused more harm to yourself?Knowing that there will become a point where you'll not have these same. Feelings of need in the same way, right? And what can you do for that? Right? And so your waiting is you just deciding like, all right, well, you know, maybe I'm gonna only deal with this one person, or maybe I'm only gonna deal with this one setting, or maybe I'm gonna mix my drugs with my sex in this one particular, you know, way of expressing myself, right?And, and you may decide to go in that direction. I think the thing is, You just, it, it be, it can become dangerous. It can become dangerous to just move in a direction, thoughtlessly. And then when you are now resolved of the grief and the trauma that got you there to deal with the consequences of not thinking through the decisions you were making.Right. You don't wanna spend time and then wonder where your time had been [00:52:00] spent because you were just moving directionless through whatever you were going through. Sometimes you need to sit back and take an assessment of where you are, look at your life, look at what your driving factors are and decide whether you want to do them.Listen, I can't tell someone that drugs is not the way for them. Get through today in order to be a more successful them tomorrow. What I can say is that there's a higher probability that you will suffer longer term consequence and or addiction if you do so. If you're making that choice, sit for a second.Decide that that choice is something that you want to make, create clear boundaries for you to move in that direction and understand that there may come a time where that direction no longer serves you and, and you need to decide [00:53:00] what happens when it no longer serves you because you're in an emotional space, not necessarily a life space.De'Vannon: Well, I'm gonna take all of that damn good advice that you just dished out and you to try to corrall my ass and to keep me on like a good path and to keep me from making some of the bad decisions I've already started to make. So . Deeon: And we're allow bad decisions, you know what I mean? Like sometimes, sometimes in a world where like, , and I'll say this in like, I don't know, trigger warning or just, you know, whatever, warning, right?Like some if, if you're, if the, if, if in unhealthy, if leaning into an unhealthy coping mechanism, which could be drugs or it could be food or it could be, there's a term. It could be excessive spending, right? If, if leaning into it knowing that there is an out for you on the other side. . [00:54:00] If you're balancing that against harming yourself to the point that there isn't another side, right?Then lean into the unhealthy thing and then get support for that unhealthy thing and live another day, right? Like find your support, find your love, find your network, find your community. Right. That's first. That's the first thing we wanna do is find support, find love, find community, find positivity when that no longer works, the idea that you could lean into something as a temporary fix in order to, to alleviate the trauma of it so that you can get to a space where you can face it, and then eventually find community and find support and find love for it.That definitely. The rates of self-harm and suicide that we're seeing in the country today where folks feel like there is no out, [00:55:00] there is no other way. And so if someone said, I need to gamble for a couple days because I'm feeling these thoughts of self-harm, then gamble a couple days. Right. And I'm not saying it has to be that extreme.I'm just saying that, that we also have to give ourselves grace to be human, to be flaw. to have to, to, to have had developed negative habits that we sometimes wanna lean into. And that if the, if the alternative is I can't live, then find a way to live until you can find the support system to give you back the life that you.And a lot of people may take that and misconstrue it as me being like, do drugs or have promiscuous sex. That's not what I'm saying folks. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that in, in a world where you know it's drown or swim, I'm telling you to swim, [00:56:00] not drown until you find a support system that allows you to get to the destination you deserve to get to.De'Vannon: He's saying, choose the lesser of your evils and whatever it takes to keep your ass alive. Because as my favorite days, cause the song says, as long as you are breathing, you can start all over again. Deeon: Absolutely. Absolutely. De'Vannon: Okay. So that, that brings us to a close here. I'm gonna go over your contact information and then I'll give you the last word.Although you've been giving us good advice. I don't know if you know it, but you counseled me through this interview. I was interviewing you, but you were counseling me, you know, Send me the bill. I'll happily pay it. So let me see here. His podcast is called Man Versus Brand. His books are coming out.He'll be back on the show if he wants to, to talk about that. He has two websites. One is man versus [00:57:00] brand.com. The other one is dion brown.com. I do want you to tell us the difference in your outro that you're about to give us here. On both of those websites, his social media's, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, ticky, talkie, and YouTube.Now all of this information's gonna go on the showing notes as it always it does. So, Dionne, thank you for being my pastor today. And tell us the difference between man versus brand.com and dion brown.com and then you can give the world whatever advice you would like. All Deeon: right. So so Dion brown.com is like the, the one space for all of my stuff.You're gonna find the project, big brand stuff there. You're gonna find the man versus brand stuff there. You're gonna find out a lot about me and like my own life journey, my coaching journey. You're gonna find out information about my past companies that I worked with, things that I really love. I think it's a really transparent look into the cross-section.The intersectionality between me. Man or a [00:58:00] human and, and me as a brand, I think you'll get a really good idea of that. Man versus brand.com. We've got some merch on there that's really cool. We got all the platforms that man versus brand is on. And you can just listen to the episodes agnostic of any podcast platform.So if you just wanna listen I definitely have a place for you to listen there. And and if you ever guys wanna get in contact, you know, you can definitely reach out to me. Let me know. That you came by way of Devon, because you know, that builds the context for the conversation we're about to have.And and I appreciate you. So for the last thing I'm gonna say, it's not gonna be about me guys. What I want you to do is stop what you're doing right now. I want you to go to, wherever this podcast is that you're listening to and or watching it, I want you to smash the, like, smash the subscribe button.Smash the join button for sex drugs in Jesus, wherever you're listening to this app, and show some love. Like, shoot a comment out, like as a content [00:59:00] creator, man, sometimes I am so, so made to, to feel connected and to feel like humbled by and, and overwhelmed and overjoyed. When people leave me comments, when people like, when people subscribe, it just, it, it, it, it just lets me know that the work is being received and, and we know that people are listening.We know that you guys enjoy. But there's something to just seeing that right to feel it is one thing to see it as another. So if you're listening to my voice right now, pause this podcast, make sure you come back to it and pop that sex drugs in Jesus Lincoln man, and make sure that you are following all the channels that it's on, that you're liking it, that you're subscribing to it.Because this guy's putting out work. Not only is he putting out work, he's putting out necessary work, transparent work work that brings about healing. Work, work that breaks down stereotypes and traumas and, and I think it's important. And so [01:00:00] feed him like he's feeding y'all by showing that love and support.And that's me. De'Vannon: Well him. Thank you Dion. No one's ever done that before. You sure know how to make an impression. . Deeon: Thank you. I appreciate it. Listen guys, thank you so much for having me on. I hope to come back. This guy's amazing, so make sure, and he has an episode on man versus Brand, so check that out. It just released like.Two or three weeks ago. So if you like this episode, hopefully he'll place it in the show notes, the episode that he was on for our podcast, where we talk about all things related to his experience in that particular section of Christianity. And his, the book that he wrote and the experience that he had in love and relationship and mentorship and all the, the experiences that this man had and what my take was on it.And so he did a lot more talking. On that episode than, than he did on this one. And I did a lot more talking on this episode, which is, I think, the nature of guest and host. So [01:01:00] check out his episode, man. I hope you guys enjoy this one and blessing and balance.De'Vannon: Thank you all so much for taking time to listen to the Sex Drugs in Jesus podcast. It really means everything to me. Look, if you love the show, you can find more information and resources at Sex Drugs in jesus.com or wherever you listen to your podcast. Feel free to reach out to me directly at Davanon Sex Drugs and jesus.com and on Twitter and Facebook as well.My name is Davanon, and it's been wonderful being your host today. And just remember that everything is gonna be all right. 

Fire Island is a 1-mile-wide barrier island with 32 miles of pristine white sand beaches and no paved roads. It began in 1653 like Nantucket as a whaling community. Real estate boomed in the 1950s, and Fire Island emerged as "the premier bohemian summer retreat"  Newly established beach bungalows lit up with creative New Yorkers. Over the next ten years, the landscape became a collage of rooftops where the rich and famous were able to escape.​​​​​​​      Like Nantucket the majority of the island is protected and will remain undeveloped. There are approximately 4,500 homes on the island, and about 820,865 people come by ferry to visit the beaches every summer.- What is the Fire Island of 2022 and how has it changed in the last 10 years?- Have the bohemians all left, priced out of the market, as Fire Island gentrifies?- The average price is $1.14 million, half of the average in East Hampton and a third the average of Nantucket. Is Fire Island a relative bargain for affluent New Yorkers?- Is Fire Island a gay community?  According to FireIsland.com this is one of the most frequently asked questions and greatest misconceptions about Fire Island. - Bloomberg reports that Fire Island Pines is the most expensive its ever been, where a 4 bedroom on Black Duck Walk rents for $17,500 a week.Ocean Beach, with 600+ houses, is the most established year-round town, but does anybody actually live on Fire Island and commute daily into Manhattan?- Fire Island Pines summer population swells to 4,000 at peak but in the winter the number dwells to only a few dozen. Is that going to change in a post-covid world?Robert Kuchar of Douglas Elliman Real EstateReal estate has always been Robert Kuhar's life. The son of a builder/contractor who learned the ropes early, he developed a keen eye for property value and potential which he uses to the benefit of his clients. He has owned apartments, single-family and multifamily homes, had experience as an investor and landlord, and overseen all aspects of home building – from cosmetic to plumbing /electrical to structural work.​​​​​​​    In addition to being a busy broker in NYC, in May 2019, Robert opened the second Douglas Elliman office on Fire Island, in Ocean Beach – the culmination of a 10-year dream – where he is Branch Manager. He has an intimate understanding of both the NYC and Fire Island markets having lived in New York City for almost 30 years (in the Upper West, Upper East, Downtown, Midtown, Brooklyn and now Harlem), and owned in Ocean Bay Park, Fire Island for 15+ years.Glenn Rice of Brown Harris StevensGlenn Rice moved to NYC in 1991 to attend Columbia University where he received a degree in English Literature. He embraced downtown music and art culture and joined the music industry where he worked in International Marketing for Elektra and at Jive Records where he handled the rollout of sales and promotion efforts for some of music's top acts. Glenn next ran an international language school for which he traveled all over the world executing marketing strategies. After the purchase of a landmark townhouse on Harlem's Strivers Row in 2000 at the age of 27, he began his career in real estate where he quickly became the top townhouse broker in Harlem, setting all sales records and creating a client base that still includes some of the top contemporary artists in the world.    Glenn has lived and worked on Fire Island for the past four years and is noted for his renovation of a classic beach cottage in Fire Island Pines creating a modern masterpiece that was recently featured in the New York Times. Thursday at 4pm, Use the Meeting ID: http://zoom.us/j/92135931351Or, binge watch the whole season on Youtube. Subscribe now: http://bit.ly/399yevL#realestate #realtor #fireisland #newyorkcity #beachhouse #longisland #CherryGrove #FireIslandPines

Today on this edition of the Chronicles of Dominic Carter: Dominic talks about a tourist from Denmark who was shot on the Upper West side in an attempted robbery and the 46 year old man who refused to be robbed in the Bronx and was shot in the leg.

Meet journalist and social media strategist Sophie Vershbow! Sophie and her rescue pup Upper West Simon have delighted New Yorkers and beyond with their daily adventures and Simon's adorable – and somewhat unusual – presence. In addition to running social strategy for some major companies, Sophie is a writer whose work has appeared in the New York Times, Esquire, Vogue, Newsweek and more. And while for years she wrote about mental health and other topics top of mind for Millennials, Sophie has turned her attention to something else near and dear to her: dog life. Just recently, Sophie teamed up with DAME Magazine to launch The Companion Chronicles newsletter, which features interviews with writers, actors, activists, politicians, and beloved internet personalities about their canine companions. Join us as we talk all things New York dog mom and more with Sophie!

Welcome back for another episode of Grab The Trace, for episode 044 we're bringing an international project to inspire you! Lachlan and Mikaela chat about: • The Inspiration-gram Project For The Week - Upper West Townhouse - Chango & Co Reach out to us via our Instagram @grabthetrace where everything show related is posted and recapped. https://www.instagram.com/grabthetrace

Dr. Sara Yael Hirschhorn, a lecturer in Israel Studies at Oxford University, discusses her book City on a Hilltop: American Jews and the Israeli Settler Movement, which attempts to explain why American-born Jews are disproportionately represented among immigrants who settled in the West Bank. This episode of the Tel Aviv Review was made possible by The Van Leer Jerusalem Institute, which promotes humanistic, democratic, and liberal values in the social discourse in Israel. Tel Aviv Review was also supported by the Public Discourse Grant from the Israel Institute, which is dedicated to strengthening the field of Israel Studies in order to promote knowledge and enhance understanding of modern Israel.

Discussing the state of Ghana's economy with Hon. Samuel Ayeh-Paye (Former Member of Parliament) and Derek Ohene Bekoe (Former MP for Upper West, Akim Constituency) - " It is only this government that is going for a loan to pump money into the country "

Discussion with Derek Ohene Bekoe (Former MP for Upper West, Akim Constituency) and Henry Kwabena Kokofu (Executive Director of EPA) on Current state of the economy.

State of the Market: Greg Heym & Kevin KovesciWe'll talk to Greg Heym and Kevin Kovesci, our experts in New York about the effect of the pandemic and the election on the New York and suburban real estate markets. These two know where the market is moving and so we expect to have a spirited discussion on:-Where is the buying opportunity in New York right now?-Interest rate movements. Where are they headed in 2022 and beyond and will they have an impact on price or is there less correlation than most people assume?-The lack of inventory. Are there just too many Millenials chasing too few houses and apartments or is the current boom in real estate a function of the money supply? -New development trends. (and is anything new also affordable? Is New York affordable for the average Joe?)-Need for second homes. Is this what is driving the suburban market, and is it a function of the pandemic?-Decreasing importance of the daily commute. Is this overstated, and what has been the effect on prices?-Which neighborhoods are hot? Is the UWS back entirely?-Foreign buyers. Are they back and what are they buying?-New York sports teams. (Greg always has something to say on this. What do NY sports tell us about New York optimism and is the optimism reflected in the markets?-Unemployment effect on the market. The latest from The Line-Stock market effect on the NY market. How do bonuses look this year?What will they do to the Spring market?-Is NYC fulfilling its promise of being the new tech center?-New York City's current effect on the suburban markets?-Coop vs. condo trends. Are coops being forced to loosen up?Subscribe now: http://bit.ly/399yevLGreg Heym - Chief Economist for Brown Harris StevensGreg was our first guest on episode 1 last May and again on episode 8 in October. In May we debated the nature of disruption to the real estate market. Would this be like 911? Would it be like the financial crisis? How long before we could get back to normal? By October there was newfound optimism based on the vaccines being approved, but plenty of anxiety related to the election. Now, with the election behind us we need an update from Greg Heym on the state of the market in New York. Kevin Kovesci - Senior EVP and Managing Director of Sales, West SideWell-known for his keen understanding of the Manhattan market, Kevin is responsible for managing the highly successful Upper West side office. Previously, Kevin managed Brown Harris Stevens' Tribeca and Village offices where he was the driving force in their exponential growth. Kevin Kovesci was formerly Vice President of Coldwell Banker Hunt Kennedy where he headed their Downtown office. His background also includes over a decade of experience as a top-producing broker and sales agent selling primarily on the Upper West Side. He earned his Bachelor of Arts from Bowling Green State University, and holds a Master of Science in Real Estate from New York University. Subscribe now: http://bit.ly/399yevL About Boroughs & Burbs:Our weekly wide-ranging zoom conversation with real estate experts from around our area. Hosted by John Engel in Connecticut and Roberto Cabrera in New York.Roberto Cabrera - With 20 years of experience, I have been recognized throughout the industry for achieving outstanding results: Ranked nationally by REAL Trends as one of "America's Best Real Estate Agents” for avg. sales price of $4.350M. Sold a single family Townhouse faster than any other on the Upper West Side over $10M. John Engel - John Engel is a consistently top-producing agent in Fairfield County, Connecticut. John recently won the 2019 Realtor of the Year Award in New Canaan where he is currently the Chairman of the Town Council. John also brings an insight into internet-based marketing that is unsurpassed.

Find us here!twitter: twitter.com/3gossipgirlspodinstagram: instagram.com/threegossipgirlspodemail us: threegossipgirlspod@gmail.comWant bonus goodies? Head over to our Patreon to subscribe!Get Your #Pair shirt or tote bag!https://it3-podcast-network.creator-spring.com/listing/pair-iykyk?product=934Music by: Anthony ViccoraProduced and Edited by: Total Betty Podcast NetworkSnail Mail:PO Box 76Coram, NY 11727

Hosts Hannah Brown (@hannahabrown) and Tyler Meredith (@tylermckemeredith) are excited to welcome back the reboot with a thanksgiving feast of chaos and hijinks! We begin by giving our personal turkey day recaps and much love to the legend Stephen Sondheim. In this ep, JC served lewk after LEWK OKAY—we are unworthy of these fashions. A highlight and standout, saskia and her dog MICHAEL CAIN steal the show for Tyler as she confuses every name of every actor on Absolutely Fabulous. Also—we may or may not have written a GG musical? SHOULD WE WRITE A GG MUSICAL? Meanwhile, sweet Zoya deserves so much better, max tries to parent trap his dads, and WHO TF is jamiejordannathan even? Honestly would have loved to have had a seat at this thanksgiving of chaos. XOXO H & T

Olivia and Miranda recap the seventh episode of the all-new Gossip Girl on HBO Max: As Zoya (Whitney Peak) scrounges up guests for her annual Friendsgiving feast, Julien (Jordan Alexander) and Obie (Eli Brown) cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Kate (Tavi Gevinson) and Jordan (Adam Chanler-Berat) face an ultimatum from Rafa (Jason Gotay) that threatens to bring Gossip Girl down once and for all. Follow Us On Instagram: instagram.com/youroneandonlysourcepod Email Us: youroneandonlysourcepod@gmail.com

How well do parents know their children? A surprising discovery turns life upside down for a pair of professors who learn a little too much. Starring SAG Award winner Alysia Reiner (Orange is the New Black) and David Alan Basche (The Exes). Hosted by Brad Forenza. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A conversation with Rabbi Marc Wildes of Manhattan Jewish Experience as he shares insights from the Upper West community. Dating lessons for all!Hosted by Rabbi Shmuel Ismach

Today's podcast is the Million $ Monday Market Update New York City - Upper East Side, Upper West Side and Chelsea. Check back every Monday for updates on different cities within the US and London. Follow us on Instagram and watch the video there - https://www.instagram.com/lauradoughty_le/ (@lauradoughty_le) or on our https://www.youtube.com/monarchestates (Monarch Estate YouTube Channel) Get your custom real estate market report - http://www.lauradoughty.com/marketreport (LauraDoughty.com/marketreport)

Sometimes change comes from organizations, businesses, or the government. But sometimes, change can begin with a single individual. Corinne Low, assistant professor at Wharton, is one such individual. She spoke out and stepped up to fight stigma surrounding homelessness on the Upper West Side when her neighbors and even friends were not only on the other side of the issue, but actively fundraising against her. Low is the co-founder of Upper West Side Open Hearts.

In this episode we meet a brand builder - Co-Founder & Executive Director of The VL Studios Valev Laube - who is originally from Estonia, but right now lives in New York. An entrepreneur, creative visionary and producer Valev is also the first Estonian who has been listed in the Forbes list under 30 in America. Valev accelerates not only brands but also talented personalities. He weaves together design and marketing by finding ways how to unite people and be part of co-creation projects also artistically. In the first episode we go along to his journey to figure out his talents and put them to work as a graphic designer and a brand builder. We also look into the life of New Yorkers during the pandemic of 2020 and also how Valev dealed with his anxiety. If you have never heard of Estonia you will also get couple of tips where to start. Enjoy and share! To support this Podcast - please share, like, review and download it. All comments, ideas and support is welcome!----more---- Summary:   01:30 How Crystal Ra and Valev know each other 01:39 Introduction to Valev Laube 05:05 Journey from a little Estonian village to New York  05:44 Sister's surprise gift in New York 07:00 Tartu and music school and trying out different things 08:20 International school in Italy – 90 different countries represented 09:19 Graphic design passion 09:30 Bachelors in Rochester University in USA 10:05 Online learning 11:00 Abundance in action treasure box 11:46 Family's support for my passions 12:38 Crystal's journey to discover herself 13:56 Everything is interconnected – everything you learn will be used later 14:39 Valev's guide through fear 15:25 Look back about the worries of the past 15:46 Trust the factor of time to figure things out 17:08 List of the worries – your past self can not figure out your future problems 17:47 Meeting someone inspiring and your mind can shift 18:00 Crystal's experiences from fear – there is a gift in every fearful moment 18:53 Everything is divine 20:17 Accents in America 20:47 Trust the process of change 21:23 Crystal's 3 hints about Estonia 22:34 Little countries like little treasures to be found 23:24 Visiting Estonia with Michael, (Crystal's husband) for the first time 25:00 NYC during the pandemic of 2020 27:01 New Yorkers responses 27.53 New New York emerging 28:31 Upper West side opening up in a new way 29:07 Personal experiences in these times – losing some close friends 30:21 Personal physical challenges with chest pains 32:03 Anxiety diagnoses 32:25 Depression and antidepressants 34:00 Anxiety incident 34:32 Only sleep and work took away social life 35:00 Was not physical – tried CBD oil, tea 35:42 Mental change and shift 36:36 Responsibility calling 37:22 How Valev came back to normal 38:11 New rules to take care of himself 38:40 Anxiety was connected to mental health 39:30 Redefine yourself now 40:00 Bond with friends 40:20 Do not do Google research your illnesses 40:52 Mental and physical health's interconnectedness 41:48 Get help from doctors and therapists 42:11 Trust your body 42:26 Self-care routines and change in the position of the priority list 43:07 Grateful for clients – being entrepreneur you get to create your job 43:48 Less distractions right now 44:06 Self-reflect and reshape life 44:39 Life your life so you do not regret 44:56 Brand building is like art - building the bridges between the humans and the digital 45:27 Brand is influencing and experience   **  Find out more info about Valev Laube here:  Facebook page for VL studios  Valev Laube web page The VL Studios Check out the amazing gift and the complimentary consultation schedule link what Valev shared with our listeners and viewers here: Check out also this amazing project where Valev is a brand manager:  Singing Revolution Musical   ** To make every Podcast count, please do not only listen or like it, but also download it - this helps to grow our numbers which can soon help to support us also in other ways; share it with many; make it your regular companion wherever you live, are or whatever you are creating in your life! Find our Podcast also at Spotify, I Tunes and Google Play! Check us also out in FB, and You Tube Some days after each audio version of the Podcast we will upload the video version to our new You Tube channel (#abundanceinactionpodcast). So check that out as well and support it the same way. Leave your comments, suggestions and ideas or a wish to contribute to us in comment sections or via email to abundanceinactionpodcast@gmail.com or to FB: www.facebook.com/abundanceinactionpodcast   Thank you in advance! May Aloha be always with you!   Crystal Ra Laksmi-Ditton & Michael Ditton Abundance in Action Podcast co-producers and co-hosts                  

Scott reports from the Upper East and Upper West sides of Manhattan, on the celebration in the streets of Joe Biden's victory.Tom finds no hint of celebration in the liberal enclave of the Pacific Palisades, and ponders whether he should have galloped into town, like Paul Revere. shouting “Biden has won!” --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tom-saunders9/support

Today's podcast we check in on the New York Real Estate Market Update for September, as well as Upper East, Upper West and Chelsea real estate market overall. Check back every Monday for updates on different cities within the US and London. Follow us on Instagram and watch the video there - https://www.instagram.com/lauradoughty_le/ (@lauradoughty_le) Get your custom real estate market report - http://www.lauradoughty.com/marketreport (LauraDoughty.com/marketreport)

Caroline and Christian recorded this episode in person for the first time ever. After a weekend together in the Upper West of Manhattan, they picked up a six pack of Medalla beer and sat down to watch West Side Story for the first time. From our real time unfiltered reactions to the movie to a conversation about Puerto Rican stereotypes and Marías betrayal of her family in favor of her American reinvention, they hold nothing back.W needed to take a break from the news cycle and figured watching a great American musical would be fun and it ended up being tremendo papelón. However, if there was one thing that made the experience worth it, that was Rita Moreno. We stan Rita's purple dress in her America dance number as much as we stan the dream of having a washing machine in our homes while living in New York City. Rita we love you!After the viewing one thing remains a fundamental truth, María needed la UPI so she could learn about self empowerment and being a badass.

When I started my show 4 years ago It was with the understanding of taking my native gifts and doing positive inspirational work, building a brand which at its core is about substance over style. As William Faulkner said, "history is what's happening today." First I had to develop my investigative journalistic chops which had been dormant since Boston University in the late nineties. Than I had to find my voice which really means having the nuts to ask questions of intelligent people about things that most aren't comfortable talking about in private. I have connected on a very personal level with the greatest musicians of the past and present. The deepest hang with Cats like Steve Gadd and Bernard Pretty Purdie who were holding down Rudy Van Gelders fort in Englewood Cliffs, Or the drum chair at Mikells on the Upper West side strutting their Stuff with the late great Richard Tee. My guest today has built his brand by staying on the cutting edge of giving people what they want. Give the people what they want let the body dance be it MTV, or South Park even Camp MTV. But his business acumen has been shaped by his love of music. A love that was instilled in him by his mother who went wherever there was rhythm. My guest saw the world at an early age. The 3rd world to the 2nd Power that his mom showed to him and his siblings helping them shape their views on social justice, tolerance and dignity. The harder the blues the harder it swings.....be it Carnival in Trinidad or the Steel pan bands and the Calypso that ultimately turned into Ska. He is a music fanatic going to see the Night Tripper or catching the last Allman Brothers show with their manager Burt Holman..... Holman, Holman, Holman, that name sounds familiar, that's right Scatico Your Face. The nexus between Bill and James, Boys Side Girls Side, 1A1B and now 1c . My guest' name is emblazoned in the social hall where chicken fights of Color Wars Past conjure up memories of Flicks sermons, Lazy Days and the College Bowl Gold Rush. My guest went to college in Boston just like this host except my guest came on the scene when radio broadband was cheap. On a fledgling FM Radio Station @ Emerson College my guest was heard round midnight in the late seventies playing Rastafari with a side of Ox Tail. Going into Dorchester and Roxbury finding the cats who were playing Dub Reggae scratching out Lee Perry Junior Murvin and Brother Bob Marley. My guest has been masterful at identifying talented writers, hosts, producers, entertainers. accompanists who when put together create witty relevant programming that to its credit delivers the news more authentically than the strained major networks who placate institutions that have lost the trust of the American People no matter what their color. You see it today in the streets of New York where young people can't breath and are trying to find the next leaders of social justice. Because leaders have vision like My guest who is able to identify talent and creativity not yet in its fullest form, he trusts his intuition and knows that you cannot do everything the best. That in fact there are others who can complement you and take something trendy and make it iconic. .....MTV, Beavis and Butthead, The Colbert Report, the Daily Show South Park. These are not shows that last a few years and fizzle.....these shows are the gold standard of television entertainment. It's that point of view, to know more is there than meets the eye. Being Rock Steady because the Harder They Come The Harder they Fall one and all.... Doug Herzog welcome to the JFS --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/jake-feinberg/support

Nancy Wu was kind enough to share some of her time to give her thoughts on the current state & the future of the NYC rental market.  Nancy leads the research efforts at StreetEasy as the Economist, using data science and econometrics to publish original research on the New York City housing market. Born in China, Nancy moved to SoCal at the age of 6.  Nancy’s been featured on CBS, MSN, Yahoo, Forbes, curbed, the NYT, Gothamist, market watch, & the commercial observer to name a few. Nancy was recognized as one of Crain's New York Business Rising Stars in Real Estate, alongside some of New York’s most talented and influential industry pros.Before joining StreetEasy, Nancy worked at NERA Economic Consulting’s finance practice, and prior to that, in economic policy at the White House and the Center for American Progress. Nancy has a Master’s Degree in Economics for Development from the University of Oxford, and casually obtain a triple major of Eco, gov, & gender studies.Please follow Nancy Wu on twitter at @nancyFwu or Nancy Wu on LinkedIn.Some questions covered on this episode: Why the Brooklyn market, while still down, fared better off than ManhattanWhich part of Manhattan has been impacted the most, and why. What trends is she seeing from a pricing perspective across the following neighborhoods:  Upper East vs Upper West, Midtown East & West vs. Downtown & Fidi Where should bargain hunters go? What is her outlook for this fall & winter? Will we break 25K vacancies in Manhattan, and 11K vacancies in Brooklyn?  

This week we walk around the world's most famous park with a man raised in its shade, Chris Supino. We talk about his Upper West side roots; where the bad kids drank; getting married in the age of COVID and his time living in Trump Tower - and yes, he had a run-in with the man himself.  This is the first week we both walk and talk with our guest. Come join us!

When the coronavirus pandemic struck New York City, Mayor de Blasio decided to move homeless people from shelters into otherwise empty hotels to try to protect them. NY1's Zack Fink, Courtney Gross, and Juan Manuel Benitez discuss how that decision has divided one typically left-leaning neighborhood, which has seen four hotels begin to house homeless New Yorkers over the last few months. We want to hear from you: Twitter: #NY1OffTopic or @ZackFinkNews, @JuanMaBenitez, and @Courtneycgross Leave a message: 212-379-3440 Email: yourstoryny1@charter.com For more information: www.ny1.com/offtopic For more information on the new coronavirus, head to www.ny1.com/coronavirus

Everything Is Under Control: A Memoir With RecipesBy Phyllis Grant Intro: Welcome to the number one cookbook podcast, Cookery by the Book with Suzy Chase. She's just a home cook in New York City, sitting at her dining room table talking to cookbook authors.Phyllis Grant: My name is Phyllis Grant, and I've written a book called Everything is Under Control, and it is a memoir with recipes.Suzy Chase: This book is both a memoir and a cookbook. You give us a candid glimpse into a few of the most pivotal times in your life. I noticed that you use words sparingly, but you managed to relay a vivid story. Bill Addison in the LA times wrote that your single line spacing suggests a poem. To kick things off, can you just talk a little bit about your writing process?Phyllis Grant: Well, a lot of the stories in my book are stories that I started writing decades ago. So I found that when things have been hard in my life, that writing about them and rewriting about them to my friends over the years has really helped process and sort of move on. To help me sort of let go of postpartum depression, let go of particularly hard births, let go of the intensity of dancing in New York and finally moving on to another career. So the process of writing about these experiences led to this book. So this is really a collection, not really of diary entries, but of things I've written to friends in order to process sort of the milestones in my life over the years. And that has ended up being hopefully, a more accessible sort of way of not only telling stories, but also having people be able to take them in as in some ways as their own stories. As more universal, the essence of life is what I was trying to achieve in this book.Suzy Chase: I guess you just answered my second question, is why did you choose to write this in present tense? Was it because you wrote things down on the spot in the moment?Phyllis Grant: That's part of it. Also, it would be so fascinating for me to go back and look at all the different iterations of this book because at one point it was not in the present tense. At one point it was in the second person. I think part of the writing and rewriting process for me was to take it into many different forms. At times, this book was way overwritten and sort of a bloated memoir, filled with all sorts of food imagery and senses and so on, and it was a bit over the top. So by paring it down and bringing it into the present tense again, it was more about being more relatable, more universal.Suzy Chase: I can't imagine this was ever a bloated memoir. That's so funny.Phyllis Grant: Well, I had a book deal with a different publisher about seven years ago and I was sort of pushed in that direction and it was really the wrong direction for me as a writer. And I think in the end, getting my book back, moving on, reselling it to a different publisher, allowed it to become a much, much stronger book, a much shorter book, but way, way more relatable. And there's a lot of blank space in the book, but what people have said to me is that those blank spaces really allow you to pause and breathe and take in each section before you move on.Suzy Chase: The subtitle is a Memoir With Recipes. Tell us about the 17 recipes in the back of this book.Phyllis Grant: Well, it was really hard to choose 17, I have to admit. Because I have hundreds, they aren't all as well tested as these 17, but in many ways I was trying to look at the recipes in the same way that I looked at the stories. So wanting them to be less specific recipes and more templates. So in other words, if someone wants to learn how to make a tart, I have a very detailed narrative recipe about how to make tart dough, but then all these different things you can do with it. Same thing with salad dressing, same thing with stew. I give you sort of an outline of how to do it the first time, and then my idea as a teacher is to help you make it your own. And these 17 really are more like templates and I'm hoping that they will help people learn how to cook, especially people who don't normally cook every day. We've had a lot of time lately to cook and people have mentioned that cooking three meals a day for the first time in their life, they're really learning quite a bit. And I've learned a lot by repetition, so I like to take recipes and make them over and over and over again. It's not about making it perfect and then moving on, it's about letting the recipe have a life.Suzy Chase: One recipe that caught my eye was your grandma's Fudgy Icebox Brownies on page 221. Can you describe this recipe and talk about why you freeze it?Phyllis Grant: This is based on a brownie recipe that my grandma used to make. So I certainly think of this recipe is very comforting. I see my grandmother's face when I make the recipe, when I read the recipe, I think about her and she always puts cinnamon in them, a little bit of cinnamon. You almost can't taste it, but it does something to dull the sweetness and sort of bring out the chocolate flavor. So that's sort of the unusual twist in this. And the thing that I experimented with and it was sort of accidental, is taking the brownies out when they're a little bit under cooked and then letting them cool and then freezing them and then cutting them into strips. And then when you want a little tiny chocolate snack in the middle of the night, or with glass of wine, you can just take this, basically, it's like a log of brownies out of the freezer and cut off just a few slices. It's very rich, it's almost fudge like, but I find by freezing it, it lasts a lot longer, and it's always there for you when you want a little treat.Suzy Chase: You wrote, "When I cook, I'm calm and confident." Tell us about that, because I'm not.Phyllis Grant: It's true. It's what I've always done to relax, to sort of meditate, to get away from the hard stuff. Whether it was when I was 10 and hormones were kicking in and I was feeling overwhelmed by life or hormones postpartum. It's just always been the place where I've gone. The kitchen has been where I go to recalibrate in some ways, to start over and to be able to sort of face what's next. And I write about that in the book in relation to pastry when I'm young, because I think there is, even though I encourage people to play with recipes and learn, there's also something very grounding about having a recipe that you know will work always. Very, very comforting.Suzy Chase: I'm going to read a few various lines from the book. The first is, "There's no such thing as being full. We eat so we don't have to acknowledge what's coming next, and we are so hungry." Many women were brought up to believe thinness show the world, how much we were in control. I know I was. I don't think we realized how often food and life intersect. Can you talk a little bit about that?Phyllis Grant: One thing that I've noticed looking over the past 50 years is when I write about anything in life, there is a through line of food. Part of it is we all have to eat. So that's just naturally a part of our day. But for me, as I said, it's more than just that, it's like the actual act of cooking for myself, cooking for my kids, cooking for my partner. It's incredibly gratifying. But at times in my life it's been about not eating or it's been about being confused that I'm not hungry. And so tracing over 50 years, the role of food in my life was a big part of writing this book. And as a dancer, especially there were times I was not eating much at all because I wanted to look a certain way. And of course in the end, I didn't feel well psychologically. It didn't work out so well to not eat, and I learned that pretty quickly. But I think especially when you're young, food like when I was living in New York City, without my family, I missed the smell of the brownies cooking. I missed someone bringing a platter of steaming brown rice and chicken and putting it in front of me. I missed that so much so I would seek that comfort in other ways. So for me, it was always at the end of the day, I needed to have a big cup of coffee and enormous blueberry muffin with streusel on top. And I found throughout life and now maybe it's cheese and a martini, but there's always something in the day that helps sort of, again, going back to grounding me in the ritual of something. That's the comfort in that food brings me.Suzy Chase: You just mentioned dancing. How old were you when you came to Juilliard here in the city?Phyllis Grant: I was 18 and Julliard didn't have a dorm at the time. So I actually lived in a residence hotel at 93rd and Broadway with a bunch of other Juilliard students and a bunch of drug addicts. Not the Juilliard students, but the building was definitely questionable. There was a gunshot hole in the front door, and you didn't feel so safe in the middle of the night and the stairwell. It was a little sketchy to be 18 and living in a place like that. But you grow up pretty fast and you build a pretty strong community of people and we looked out for each other. But that was 1988 in New York City, it was a different time. Wow.Suzy Chase: That was a really different time.Phyllis Grant: Especially upper, Upper West side, definitely.Suzy Chase: Oh my gosh.Phyllis Grant: Yeah. For better, or for worse, it's certainly changed a lot.Suzy Chase: Describe your first Thanksgiving away from home at Windows on the World.Phyllis Grant: Basically it was the three of us, Berkeley girls needing each other so badly and wanting a very special dinner. So we went to Windows on the World and it was so terrible. It was the worst meal I've ever had. And the truth is there was so much turnover in that restaurant. You never know what you're going to get, it was a bit of a tourist trap at the time. And we ate all the terrible food and we drank way too much wine and then we threw up in the bathroom and went back to our lives uptown. It was definitely not one for the books. It was a pretty depressing night for sure.Suzy Chase: Well, for people who don't know about Windows on the World, it was in the World Trade Center before 9/11. It was amazing, I vividly remember going there and standing in the floor to ceiling windows and just staring out at the city. But we never ate there, we just drank.Phyllis Grant: Yeah, I do it in my book. I mentioned that exactly what you said, the floor to ceiling windows and sort of needing that sort of special separation. It's like way downtown and it was way up high. And of course it has so many more layers of meaning now because we were in New York city on 9/11 and we watched the second plane hit. We watched those buildings fall. So it's kind of a wild thing to think about being there at 18 for Thanksgiving dinner and then 20 years later, watch those buildings fall.Suzy Chase: How did you go from dancing at Juilliard to being an apprentice at some of the top restaurants in New York City?Phyllis Grant: Well, it was the nineties and you could knock on the back door of a restaurant and walk in and say, "Hey, can I work for free or what needs to happen today?" And that's what I did. So I would go eat a meal at a restaurant and then asked to meet with the pastry chef. And they were really eager back then for extra help. And part of it was the celebrity chef thing hadn't happened yet. So I think once Food Network kicked in, which was probably the mid-nineties, something like that, there was this excitement about working in restaurants. So it became much harder to do that. But the time I did it, which was '93, '94, people really welcomed me into their kitchens because they needed the extra help. And then once you're in, you're in like in most jobs and you can slowly work your way up. So, that's what I did.Suzy Chase: What was the favorite restaurant you worked at?Phyllis Grant: I guess I would say working at Bouley really was extraordinary. They had just gotten four stars from the New York Times and it was very similar to dance in terms of the adrenaline, it was very exciting. So I personally, would feel very nervous right before service, sort of getting set up and all that. And then once you start, you just fly. It's just like six, eight, nine, 10 hours of service. And the thing that keeps you going is adrenaline. It's really exciting and you learn a lot really fast in that kind of environment.Suzy Chase: I found the similarities between dancing and restaurant work too. And I was thinking that the guy that runs the kitchen is basically the same personality type as the person that teaches ballet at Julliard.Phyllis Grant: Very similar, yes. Old school sort of hierarchical and male dominated, absolutely. There's so much in common there. And things are changing, thank goodness. But that back in the nineties, things had not started changing yet. And so part of it was, I just like with dance, with restaurants, I knew the game I was playing. I stepped in and I played my role and I did what I was supposed to do. And sometimes that meant sort of putting up with a certain amount of abuse, harassment. Yeah, so very similar worlds.Suzy Chase: So at a certain point you reconnect with M, a former lover and realized how much you've missed cooking for him. Then you get married and 9/11 happens. What happened next?Phyllis Grant: Well, we had lived in New York City for a decade and there was something about this traumatic event that I think part of it was this feeling of you only live once. And what are we doing living in this 375 square foot apartment in New York City? Why don't we try something new? So I was a yoga teacher at the time and my husband was a working actor. So we moved to Los Angeles. So three weeks after 9/11, we drove across the country and moved to Los Angeles, and boy was that a rough transition. We missed New York still. I still miss New York, frankly. It's a hard place to leave, but there was something about that moment, that shift, that crack open that 9/11 gave us. It was a devastating, devastating time, but I'm grateful that we decided to try something new.Suzy Chase: Talk about how you move to a condo above your grandmother. What impact did that have on your life?Phyllis Grant: At the time we had two young children. So I worried a lot that we were being too noisy, that was the hard part. But the beautiful part was just knowing that my grandma was downstairs and that she was in her late eighties at the time. And she needed a lot of support and it was so great to be there for her. And she was very private, so I wouldn't go knock on her door and barge in, but I would check in almost once a day and any food I was cooking, I would bring her some. And it was really lovely to sit with her and actually, to sometimes sit in silence. To have tea, to have cookies and just let that be okay. There's less of this urgency of, "Oh, I only see you once a year. We have to get in all this quality time." Instead, we just became a part of each other's daily lives in a very important way.Suzy Chase: I feel like you had more in common with your grandmother than your mother.Phyllis Grant: Oh that's interesting. I think in some ways that's true, actually. My mom actually growing up, always used to say that she wanted a more traditional upbringing in a white picket fence. And there's certain sort of things she wanted because her dad is an artist and they were always moving around and they didn't have any money. And my mom really wanted something more traditional. And I would say that I am more like my grandmother in that we moved around a lot and I don't necessarily need things to be traditional, in fact, I'm sort of well known in my family for always doing things a little bit differently. So I think that's really actually insightful of you Suzy, because she and I, my grandma and I share a lot in terms of how we live or how she lived and also how we cook. And I also appreciate my mom so much and her meticulousness, in fact, my daughter, I think is very much like my mom and I love seeing how it skips generations.Suzy Chase: How did it feel getting Ruth Reichl, and Elizabeth Gilbert's glowing reviews of this book.Phyllis Grant: Oh, so moving. So the first blurb I got actually was Elizabeth Gilbert. So I have to tell you, starting off with that one gave me a nice little push. And then the last one I got was Ruth Reichl, So it was nice to be book ended by those two incredible women I've admired for so long. So honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm just going to wake up and it was a dream.Suzy Chase: No, it's real.Phyllis Grant: Is it really? I know it's on the back of the book, I guess it is real. Yeah. The fact that they took the time. You can tell they read the book and they really took it in and I can see that in their blurbs. So that means the world.Suzy Chase: In this Instagram perfect world we're living in, how was it opening up about the tough intimacies of your life that you probably wouldn't just talk about at a dinner party?Phyllis Grant: I started a blog about 10 years ago called Dash and Bella. And initially I would write about making cupcakes and playing with the kids and the chaos in the kitchen and so on. And then these posts started to morph a little bit more into the hard, raw, uncomfortable stuff. So I got used to writing about it. And the reason I continued to write about it is the community I started to build. People would reach out to me, they would direct message me, email me, and start telling me their stories. So what I realized is by telling my heart stories that it helps other people tell theirs. And as I said earlier, it's therapeutic being able to write about the hard stuff can help you let go a little bit, and if I can just do a little of that with this book, I've been really encouraged by the fact that people are starting to write their own stories and reaching out to me and thanking me for telling mine. So it feels more like a community responsibility.Suzy Chase: So here's the big question. At this point in your life, do you feel like everything is under control? I need a drum roll or something.Phyllis Grant: No, but there are things that are, and I suppose that's what keeps us all going. Just sort of that realizing what is under control and partly going back to what I said, like ritual like my coffee is there in the morning, my dog is there looking at me, ready for the food. My kids need me to feed them. There's so much beautiful stuff to read. So I'm trying to find control in the smaller things, but it is true, big picture is pretty terrifying right now in terms of lack of control.Suzy Chase: Yeah. And I think we can focus on resilience.Phyllis Grant: Yeah. And I see that in my children too, as I talk to my friends a lot about what's it going to look like in a year for all of us, when we look back? What will we have learned and done. And I do see how strong and resilient our kids are. And yeah, thank you for saying that about my book. I feel like, yeah, I look back on the past 50 years and I did, I got through it all, knock on wood. So far.Suzy Chase: So yesterday I made your Classic Jammy Anchovy Sauce on page 192. Can you describe this recipe?Phyllis Grant: When I would go in and work on my book for a few days, which often was the only way I could get anything done, any writing done, I would go away. I would want to cook to procrastinate instead of work on the book, just because finally I have time and I would think, "Oh my gosh, I want to cook all day." So instead of actually cooking all day, I would throw all these ingredients into a pot with a jammy sauce. So anchovies, and tomatoes, and wine, and sugar, and salt, and vinegar, and let it bubble away all day while I was writing. So it a way to cook and to smell something wonderful cooking, but still be able to work on my book. This jammy sauce you can put on so many things. You can put it on pasta, you can put it on toast, you can have it as the base of a pizza, it can be like a ketchup on a sandwich. So it's quite versatile, it's really hands off because all you do is stir it every 20 minutes, if that, and then you can freeze it and you can make a big batch of it.Suzy Chase: Now to my segment called my favorite cookbook. What is your all-time favorite cookbook and why?Phyllis Grant: That is impossible. Which is not the answer you want.Suzy Chase: Wrong.Phyllis Grant: There is one book though that does pop into my head always when people ask me that question and that is Chez Panisse Desserts by Lindsey Shere. And she was the original pastry chef at Chez Panisse, and this is the book I cooked my way through when I was 22, just deciding that I wasn't going to be a dancer and I needed to find something else, and that's when I realized cooking was my thing. And if you open this cookbook, there's chocolate all over it. The pages are filthy. And I think that's a sign of certainly a well-used book. And I would call that my favorite.Suzy Chase: Where can we find you on the web and social media and your blog?Phyllis Grant: I haven't posted much on my blog, but some people have been saying they've been going back and looking at the archives of the recipes. So I think I'm going to put those in a more organized form, but that's Dash and Bella, it's a blog spot. You can just type in dashandbella.com and on Twitter and Instagram, I am @dashandBella. And Instagram is really my world these days, that's where I tell stories. That's where I'm sort of doing a daily food diary. It's replaced the blog in some ways.Suzy Chase: And here it is our summer beach read. Thanks Phyllis, for coming on Cookery by the Book podcast.Phyllis Grant: Thanks Suzy.Outro: Subscribe over on CookerybytheBook.com. And thanks for listening to the number one cookbook podcast, Cookery by the Book.

“As I began to speak, the Holy Spirit came on them as he had come on us at the beginning. Then I remembered what the Lord had said: ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' So if God gave them the same gift he gave us who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I to think that I could stand in God's way?” God broke the rules. Jews and Gentiles were to be separate from one another. The Jews were God's people. Anyone who wasn't a Jew—that is, the Gentiles—were not God's people. Simple as that. Jews weren't even to so much as enter the home of a Gentile for fear of being defiled. This had religious moorings, of course in the Old Testament law. But you can find numerous ways that such separations and divisions are embedded in our society today. Borders separate us from others who speak a different language or keep a different cultural identity. Quebec and Ontario serve as an example. Money separates us from others. Some can afford air conditioning. Some can't. Some can afford to get out of the city. Some can't. Some can afford to live on the Upper West end of town, far away from the smokestacks of industry with the prevailing winds at their back to keep the smell away. Some can't. The colour of our skin can separate us. Our country of origin can separate us. Our gender can separate us. Our age can separate us. Our ability to walk, or to see, or to hear, or to speak the language well can separate us. And, as the pandemic has progressed, it has revealed that very often these things do separate us. Even if we would've liked to believe that they didn't. Poorer communities have been hit harder. Communities where immigrants and people of colour live have been hit harder. Homes for the elderly have been hit harder. There may not be walls to divide us. But there are invisible barriers erected in our society that still keep us separate. Yet, as things open back up—if you stroll through the urban streets of Hamilton, you might just discover one of the many store front churches filled with folks who are separate from you in wealth, skin colour, immigration status, and more to whom God has nonetheless given "the same gift he gave us who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ:" the gift of the Holy Spirit. Because God still breaks our rules today. He still breaks down our barriers and turns our arbitrary separations into Spirit-bound union in Christ. And, if they've been given the same gift as us... well, who are we to think that we can stand in God's way by continuing to live out our arbitrary separations?  

Meet Jean Black, AKA the "Black Wine Guy". Jean has had a very long, interesting and unconventional career in the wine business, which began at the oldest wine shop in New York City, Acker wines. "What started as a package store in 1820, has today become the oldest and most respected wine shop in America. Acker Merrall Condit, located on the beautiful and historic Upper West side of Manhattan, has provided expert wine services for nearly two centuries." While at Acker, Jean sold, stocked, learned and tasted wines from all over the world. Jean quickly rose through the ranks at Acker and quickly became one of the top wine experts at Acker. It wasn't long before Jean found himself traveling to California wine country to buy wine directly from the vineyards. It was this time Jean fell in love with the "wine country" lifestyle. Hard-working farm life surrounded by great people, great wine, great food, even greater stories, occasional campfires and late nights. Many of Jean's selections come from this award winning vineyards and although we're not in California sipping on these fine wines it does give the consumer subtle whispers of Jean's amazing experience's at these vineyards. A FEW of Jean's top vineyards include, Ledge, Turtle Rock, Hill of Tara, and Argot.This episode Jean paired two wines to serve with our Chef Jose Andreas "tinned" sea urchin ( Matt loved the urchin, Rich did NOT). A California blend from Willamette Valley and Spanish Txakolina. Both wines are phenomenal with seafood and affordable.

Phil speaks with Abdulai Suburu of partner site ghanafootballnews.com about the current situation with his beloved Liverpool, in depth statistics and results from Ghana Premier League, and why he believes that Solomon Asante is a player who could benefit the Ghana National Team in Part 2.

Phil speaks with Abdulai Suburu of partner site ghanafootballnews.com about the current status of the Ghana Premier League, the state of football in the Upper West after the departure of Wa All-Stars, and the founding of Accrington Ghana in Part 1.

On this week's program, hosts Ann Baldwin and Lisa DeMatteis-Lepore speak with Ray DeMatteis, or as Lisa affectionately refers to him as, “Uncle Ray”.  As a long-time New York City resident and actor, both on and off Broadway, Ray shares with us the true reality of how the Corona Virus is impacting himself, as well as his fellow actors.  Speaking with us from his home on the Upper West side, he offers his unique perspective on the reality of what New Yorkers are dealing with.  Told from a sense of humor, as well as heartache, this is a conversation you won't want to miss. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Coronavirus cases in Ghana as at 1st April, disinfection exercise in Upper West region In a bid to contain the deadly coronavirus, DKB 'begs' pastor Brian Amoateng for forgiveness and many more stories --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/gisttime/support

Upper West Music Group co-founder Greg Williamson discusses the all-star Love Rocks NYC concerts during an "All Access" segment and bassist Karina Rykman talks "Musical Mentors" on Episode 55 of 'The JamBase Podcast.'

Connect and Rise with Rebeka Stowe, athlete & coach, 8 time USA Track and Field championship qualifier, certified level 2 coach for the USATF, and CSCS. She is currently one of the first female coaches in the athletic department at the 400-year-old Collegiate School, an all-boys private school on the Upper West side of Manhattan and also works with Nike running in NYC in addition to working with Run with the Lab (online coaching using VdotO2). Rebeka is not only a total bad ass in her field, but also a humble and amazingly inspirational person. This interview is FULL of incredible insight including the value of pursuing both your career (be it athletics or not) and your LIFE with rigor, valuing the people who are meaningful in different seasons of you life, realizing that in vulnerability is power and to constantly develop your mental skills toolbox, and remembering that you “can.” You can handle anything. In moments of struggle, pull on all of your positive training and remember: “I’m a warrior. I can do this.” You’re stronger than you think.

Host Eric Metaxas introduces special guest Dick Cavett — adding a musical tribute on a set that nods to the decades-long Dick Cavett Show — and converses with the TV talkshow legend about experiences that went into his book, BRIEF ENCOUNTERS. This Socrates in the City event took place on New York City’s Upper West […]

Manhattan, 1990. It was different back then. Crime was more prevalent. There were more than 2,000 people killed in NYC that year. Much of it related to the crack epidemic. Still, the box at the corner of west end avenue in the Upper West side didn't seem out of place. The crate was well constructed. The dimensions and even the sanding showed top notch craftsmanship. After a day or so neighbors started to wonder though. A sanitation crew tried to lift it, but it was too heavy. Finally they opened it. Inside, they found the body of  Marcia Brushingham. It turns out her killer is someone she knew very well. The Tape Room speaks with Thomas Hyland, former NYPD Homicide Detective and current John Jay College professor.

[EPISODE] The Upper West Side Tune in for this week's show as we journey to the Upper West Side! My guests will be local historian Lucie Levine of Archive on Parade, and Katie Thompson, owner and Founder of the KT Collection, and Runaway Poppy. Segment 1 Jeff’s first guest is Lucie Levine. She shares memories of growing up in the Upper West Side, studying history, and how her love for her home city developed in her formative years. Lucie traces the early history of the Upper West side from the original Lenape through Dutch and English development of the area. Lucie emphasizes the influence of the railroad in the area and how it brought a bit of the Wild West to the city. She shares the origin of the nickname Gotham for NYC.   Segment 2 Lucie explains her business, Archive on Parade, where she brings to life archival research through walking tours throughout New York City. They touch on the Dakota building near Central Park. They discuss the design of Riverside Drive, Riverside Park, and the 79th Street Boat Basin. They note the residential development of the Upper West Side in the 1920's. Lucie describes the gentrification in the 1990's and how it has changed the area.    Segment 3 Katie Thompson joins the program to share her experience as a business owner in the Upper West Side. Katie discusses her beginnings selling jewelry to her family and how she developed her passion for jewelry at an early age. She then traces her career in travel and leisure throughout Europe and South America. Katie describes how eventually she rediscovered her passion and decided to pursue jewelry design as a career.    Segment 4 Jeff and Katie discuss the merchandise available at KT Collection and Runaway Poppy.They note some of the big draws in the area and the mix of cultures Katie’s experienced working in the area. They note how each street (Broadway, Columbus, Amsterdam) seems to have its own unique identity and how that affects the character of the neighborhood. They conclude with advice for business owners looking to open in the Upper West Side.

La dueña de una pequeña librería en el Upper West side de Nueva York desconoce que la persona de la que se enamoró online es su principal competidor. El clásico engaña pichanga en donde el hombre está habilitado a hacer cualquier cosa para atrapar a su presa. ¡Atención! En este episodio de Pijama Party te decimos que nadie es tan bueno como parece en internet, ni siquiera Tom Hanks.

Modern Bread and Bagel just opened on the Upper West side of Manhattan this past week. In addition to bagels and house-made spreads and cheeses, this gluten free and kosher bakery serves breads, cinnamon buns, babka, pop tarts, donuts and more! Check out their website for their other delicious brunch items which is served from 7 am - 4 pm. In the next few weeks, a Mediterranean restaurant named Arba will open in the evenings in the same spot. It's also gluten free, dairy free and kosher.Don't visit NYC without checking out Erin Smith of Gluten Free Globetrotter's list of gluten free eateries. She works hard to keep it updated and accurate. Check out Erin's list here: https://glutenfreeglobetrotter.com/glutenfreenyc/dedicatedglutenfreenyc/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

 DJ Marlon B “Bizzy”Coming from the Upper West side of New York City, DJ Marlon B “Bizzy” has been spinning records at five star hotels and many venues over the years. Born and raised in New York City, his roots stem from his mother native from Puerto Rico and his father from the Dominican Republic.  His father is a Latin percussionist playing the congas and timbales, instilling the love of music throughout their home. His father had him begin to learn to how to play the drums which helped him to learn musical patterns. Inspiration to become a DJ came for Marlon as early as age 9 when his curiosity about how the mixes on the radio went seamlessly from one to the next. He would then record DJ Red Alert, and had the chance to meet him at age 13. From here he got his turntables and his brother set him up and then continued to take him the clubs and had him go watch Red Alert in the booth because he was only 14 or 15. He then began to DJ for private events and his success continued to grow. Marlon’s mother has always been a huge supporter and inspiration as he continued to establish his DJ career. DJ Marlon B, does not just consider this a job; he takes pride in the artistry of being a true mixologist. He is one who reads the crowd, moves them in a certain direction and evokes feelings and memories to ensure a positive experience. DJ Marlon’s advice is to have fun with what you do; research music; try to expand your genre and be able to adapt to your situation.  DJ Marlon’s final advice is to continue to practice, there is always something you can learn.         Find him on:   Soundclound: DJmarlonb or DJmarlonbizzy

Dr. Sara Yael Hirschhorn, a lecturer in Israel Studies at Oxford University, discusses her book City on a Hilltop: American Jews and the Israeli Settler Movement, which attempts to explain why American-born Jews are disproportionately represented among immigrants who settled in the West Bank. This season of the Tel Aviv Review is made possible by The Van Leer Jerusalem Institute, which promotes humanistic, democratic, and liberal values in the social discourse in Israel. Tel Aviv Review is also supported by the Public Discourse Grant from the Israel Institute, which is dedicated to strengthening the field of Israel Studies in order to promote knowledge and enhance understanding of modern Israel.

Welcome to Bri Books! Today is April 17th, and I’m excited to be releasing this episode. Exactly two months ago today, I returned home from vacation in Bali. I’ve mentioned on the podcast, on social media and IRL that in 2017, I chose to go on 3 vacations with Travel Noire Experiences. The first was Bali in February—I recorded an episode of the podcast in Bali! I went to Cuba in March—and I’m so grateful I went. If you’re interested in hearing more about my time in Cuba, let me know on the @bribookspod Instagram and via social. But I’ve never told the real story about how I almost missed the trip in the first place. My trip to Bali and relationship with today’s guest (actor/ storyteller Cyndii Johnson) started with a missed flight. Bri Books Pod - Instagram What are you reading?? Let me know using hashtag #bribooks.    0:22 - This episode is all about “The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now” by Meg Jay, PhD.  Today is April 17th, and I’m excited to be recording this intro. Exactly two months ago today, I returned home from vacation in Bali, Indonesia. I’ve mentioned on the podcast, on social media and IRL that in 2017, I chose to go on 3 vacations with Travel Noire Experiences. The first was Bali in February—I recorded a couple of episodes of the podcast in Bali! I went to Cuba in March—and I’m so grateful I went. If you’re interested in hearing more about my time in Cuba, let me know on the @bribookspod on Instagram and @bribookspod on Twitter. But I’ve never told the real story about how I almost missed the trip in the first place. 1:33 - My trip to Bali and relationship with today’s guest (Cyndii Johnson) started with a missed flight. I almost didn’t even make it on vacation. Long story short, I missed my flight by 13 hours. I thought my ticket was for Wednesday midnight, but I didn’t realize it was midnight on  Tuesday, leading into Wednesday. 2:00 - So, on Wednesday I was at work,excited for midnight flight go home get bag take shower prep for my flight...and then Google sends alert that my flight will be landing in 9 hours. In a moment of complete panic and shock then calm, I gathered my things, took cab form Upper West to Brooklyn, grabbed my bag, hopped into the same cab and went to Newark. I’m all the while looking on all the apps for first thing smoking out of Newark! 3:00 -  I get off the plane full day late to vacation, took a taxi about an hour and a half outside of Denpasar to Ubud, Bali. I’m stressed, worried I’ll be the odd person out. The first face I see is that of Cyndii Johnson--she was the Experience Designer for the trip with Travel Noire. She says, “I’m so happy you’re here--you have a massage scheduled in a half hour.” I couldn't have prayed or asked for a more welcoming end what had been trying episode. And today we’re talking about being in our 20s because duh. 3:51 - This epi is a bit more  more conversational than usual. I hope you enjoy the format--if you like it,  let me know by leaving a review on iTunes. 4:04 - Cyndii is an actor and storyteller in NYC, but she’s’ from Midwest like me. One of her survival jobs when she’s not being an AMAZING nanny and working as SoulCycle is as an Experience Designer with TN Experiences,  which is how we met 4:20 - “The Defining Decade” book touched Cyndii, and how a relationship a few years ago prompted her to get passport. Since then she’s been to six countries. Then we get into how “distraction is the opiate of the masses”--so here’s what we’re doing to stay focused and develop discipline--which is a practice!. 4: 47 I love Cyndii’s commitment to telling her story while in the thick of it. 4:58 - Cyndii, we met in Feb. 2016 when I arrived late for vacation. What were you doing before we met? 5:04: I was working a restaurant ABC Kitchen. I was a back-waiter, runner, server, maître di. I was working 40 hours a week making a lot of money but not doing anything else. I usually worked the nightshift and you want to, because when you make the most money. I'd be so exhausted from the night before I wouldn’t do anything until it was time for work at 4pm, work from 4pm to whenever, have a drink and go home to sleep. 5:50 - I was grinding my gears. NOt even grinding--just grinding my gears for no reason. I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle but I lost sight of everything I came here to do. 6;13 - “These past three years in New York flew by. I’m from Ohio, so age has a different...the timeline I gave myself when I was younger, babygirl ain’t on that timeline anymore. 6:45 - Yo, our age is now acceptable childbearing age. Whoa. 7:05 - It’s like, I have so many things I’m trying to do. I nanny which is one of my jobs. And the agency told me my girl is 8 in the 2nd grade. I had no concept of what an 8 year in 2nd grade was. I was like, do they talk? 7:30 - We’re both from Midwest. I think something interesting is people in NYC and transplants, is I find that we’re just one generation away from poverty. A lot of people I know in NYC are first-generation college students. 8:00 - “If you meet me within 5 min you’re find out I’m from Cleveland. I love, love love where I’m from. I think it makes up everything about me. And just what Cleveland stands for what happened to it. How it was this big industrial city and people flocked there for jobs and the jobs went away and everyone was like what do we do? How make this work? We didn’t go to college because we went straight here to make a life for our family and we got a home and all that's been taken away. What do you do with that? What do you stand upon?” 8:43 - My dad’s a steelworker. Any day he could not have a job. Detroit and Cleveland are very similar in that way. 8:52 - Even the way I think and speak I tell people is Midwestern. They say, ‘You're nice but southerner without accent, not country…’ I think we’re all the sum of everything that’s happened to us. Not that I’d ever go back home. It takes me going away from home to love it so much. 9:17 - Even though now I have a job where I make significantly less amount of money, I’m so much more happy. And not even the fact that I’m so much more happy--I value my sanity my time, my drive for my actual career over money. 9:40 - I’d rather be uncomfortable in one sense than uncomfortable in another. But now I waste less. I figure out what I really need. Like, once you figure out what you truly need… 9:55 - It’s like, I have everything I need. We live in a world of excess. Why do you need...whatever...we have more than what we could ever want, all the time. And we’re just like, ‘buy, you need, advertisement,this is what to do.’ We’ve been fed that since we were born. People’s literal jobs are making us believe we need these things that we’re trying to sell. You can go get a college degree about how to make someone believe they need the thing you have. 10:46 - But getting down the basics: All I truly need is food shelter love and freedom, when you get down to the nitty gritty! 11:00 - Yes, I want to do all these other things and travel. And you find time and space to do that. You make it important to you. But not at the sacrifice of your needs. 11:21 - On “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” - Minimalism isn’t about having only 5 shirts--it’s about having only shirts that spark joy. I’ve taken that into every aspect of my life, and I don’t do “just because” anymore.   MUSIC BREAK: Jenn Mundia 12:18 - It’s amazing all the things that had to go into effect for us to meet! We create life! 12:40 - When I got this job, I didn’t realize...I see people like flourish every week. I literally watch these life changing moments happen, and I’m able to witness it. As a storyteller, I’m like I have so much to pull from because I’ve seen so many types of people. 13:15 - And sometimes these (TN Experiences trips) are the things the only things people do for themselves. And look forward to this. Some may have it easy and taking these trips ain't nothing. But some of them this is a huge sacrifice. But they saw it was important to do. 13:30 - In this way, travel is an onward reflection of the inner transformation that’s happened. You’ve done the hard work this is the treat. 13:52 - I literally see it sometimes. Me and my friends, I’m like, one day they’re gonna ask in an interview do you know so and so...and I’m gonna be, like, “DO I KNOW THEM?! WE WERE IN BROOKLYN ON SUNDAYS RECORDING PODCASTS IN OUR LIVING ROOM. WE WERE IN THE TRENCHES TOGETHER! YES I KNOW THEM!!” 14:57 - I see it happening with my friends they’re getting show's, pilots, these huge things where everyone’s getting to know who they are. And I’m like, this is just my friend. I remember when they weren’t getting anything and they were so sad. You could’ve never told me that I’d be here. 15:29 - I tried to change my life so much to be this thing I wanted or thought I wanted. I tried to so hard. 15:40 -The relationship I was in before, they were the person who made me get a passport. My ex loved to travel, that was their thing. I ‘d never been out the country before--only family trips to Baltimore, Virginia, etc. 16:00 - I was like, “I want to travel,” they’re like, “Let’s do it,” I’m like “well”…. it's’ a farfetched thing to me. I never thought like doing it. And they were like, “I bought these tickets to Trinidad. You have to get your passport.” I went out of the country for the first time. 16:40 - And in 3 years, you’ve been to 6 countries. 16:55 - What blew my mind is Awkward Black Girl premiered on YouTube 4 years ago. I’ve spent 3 years in NYC and what have I done? 17:05 - I’m saying, your time is valuable. And once you stop messing around with that...you’re either going to stay in the same place, or not. My friend has this thing he was talking about where you could write a letter to be delivered to your future self. He wrote himself a letter for 4 months from then and he talked about all the things he was proud of himself for ding. And that kept him accountable--to know that that person in the future depended on him to do the things he needed to do. 17:50 - The other day I said I feel so young I don’t feel 26. But what does 26 feel like? I thought one day I'd wake up and belike this adult. But it’s the little things over time 18:03 - The quest for adult underwear. I was like, “I have to stop buying panties out the pack.” That’s grown shit. 18:26 - It’s like graduating from Ikea to West Elm--you value quality. You start investing yourself more because you also have less time. Time is an investment. 19:10 - In “The Defining Decade,” it’s all about how you have to choose to make a choice. And not choosing is still a choice. You choose not to choose! And people are afraid to make decisions. 19:37 - In 3 years Cyndii has been to 6 countries. In the book makes point that the 20s is a time when simple exposure can lead to dramatic transformation: “You can’t think your way through life. The only way to figure out what to do is do something.” 20:05 - There are so many things I could do that I’m good at . but at the same time I’m overwhelmed by the possibility. I’m paralyzed by the possibility of all these things. I’m like I don’t know if I want to do podcast, blog, video content. And my dad’s like,you're not gonna know until you try. So many times you make decisions based on things that haven’t even happened yet. 20:43 - Never tell yourself no! 21:05 - Cyndii  was talking to friend about budgeting, and decided that when she got her taxes back she’d pay credit card. But her friend said, “you can’t spend money you can’t have.” The Bible says “Don’t worry about tomorrow--tomorrow will worry about itself.” 22:02 - Never again will we be so quick to learn new thing. I think that’s at the root of everything we’re saying moving going...travel while you have the light. 22:15 -  We have light packages and we can do whatever we want. And I know, especially for me, that is crippling. That means I can do anything. So what do I do? So many options. 22:35 - I just went to Chicago and I packed a little small carry on. That was the first time I hadn’t over packed. I packed just enough for what I needed, and it felt so good! 23:15 - What Cyndii resonated with in “The Defining Decade” was under employment. For her fellow artists, the survival job is a necessary evil. But is Cyndii putting her time and energy into the things she came here for?   MUSIC BREAK: Jenn Mundia   24:10 - I think it’s about being more intentional with your life. It’s about being intentional with your time and knowing your time is valuable. Instead of frolicking letting the wind whatever flap you about, you’re being intentional, and honest with yourself. 23:26 - Cyndii on being intentional in relationships 25:00 - The strength of weak ties, and how associations give us access to something fresh. “People you don’t know can be the best bridge,and there’s no telling where that could lead.” 25:25 everything Cyndii got in NYC  is through someone she knew. And, in the art world where people are hiring their friends and actors they knew before, it’s like how am I supposed to break in, if everyone wants to work only with people they know? Then I realized it’s not out of a place of malice--people want to help people they know. You want to come up with your circle of people. 26:10 - I think career wise, friendships, it’s like you’re building bridges in your 20’s. The hard part for me is to maintain relationships. I’m good at sowing seeds, sending update emails, but when it comes to reaping, I let things die--fruit, ripen, and die. I think that this part of “The Defining Decade,” talking about weak ties and associates giving us access to something fresh--it’s not about it being lasting forever. It’s something fresh. Let people bring life into you! 26:48 - And don’t hang out with all the same people! It’s about showing up for your friends, too. 27:30 - But I think you also have to learn to show up for yourself. And when people don’t show up for you you’re like, “Oh it's fine,” because you’re not showing up for yourself. And then once you start showing up for yourself, you realize how important it is to show up for other people, and showing up for other people makes them realize they should show up for themselves. 28:15 - Cyndii Johnson is an ARTIST, YA’LL! From a 6th grade to 12th grade drama major to earning a degree in her craft, she’s flexing her storytelling muscles. 29:11 - “I call myself a storyteller. Whether directing, acting or writing, I’m telling stories. Storytelling I think is how we view world see world know what we know about the world because these stories are passed down. Stories are powerful. “Moonlight” changed the game. It's’ the  human experience reflected back to you as you realize you’re not alone. You can learn lesson watching things close to you and far away from you. 30:00 - Cyndii’s writing a web series and a play! 30:17 “The Defining Decade” says “Distraction is the opiate of the masses, and we think that by avoiding decision now, we keep all our options open for later. But not making a choice is a choice.” 30:33 - It’s interesting she said opiate. Isn’t heroin an opiate? It makes you drowsy, nod off, and if you stop doing it you’ll die. And I think that’s part of distraction--part of you has to die to give that up. 31:15 - What Cyndii’s nanny client is teaching her about distraction and discipline: “The little girl I’m babysitting, this like if you just DO these 3 things, you can play. If you put in 5 minutes of focus energy, it can be done!” And I’m like, that’s as simple to me! If you give yourself this amount of time focused energy instead of a second here there... if you just get it done, it can be done! 31:58 - It’s called going through it because you go through it. Not over not over, it doesn’t  go through you, you go through it! Not under, over, it doesn’t go through you, you go through it. 32:15 - How floating and teaching swimming is magical for Cyndii: “When I teach people to swim, I first teach them to float.  But you can only float if you let go. You have to trust that the water underneath you will support you and keep you buoyant. And it’s hard because water is so very powerful. You can drown in 2 tbsp. of water. But your body’s 70% of water. So it’s something you have to know deeply and let go of that can kill you. You have to believe it can support you. You have to lay on top of it. When people swim, I tell them, you work with the water...you cup and pull yourself through it. Everyone should learn how to swim.” 33:15 - “I’m not afraid of drowning because I know if anything happens, all I have to do is turn over and float.” 33:30 - Surfing in Bali felt meditative, like yoga. You’re working this living breathing thing. 33:46 - While surfing, you go under, the board you’re on could still be flipping in the air while you come up. So you have to put your hands over your head. It’s like, when you fall, the thing you fell by, even when you come out, it could still hurt you. 34:05 - Bloom where you’re planted….it’s 2017, we’re 26, live in Brooklyn, you know brionna and you both have passports and you’re living your life. And you’re creating your life. Find Cyndii on Instagram at @cyndiiluwho

The mystery of the Hermit has been solved and he doesn't seem like a bad guy after all. Now, what about the strychnine? And the groceries? And that nasty smell that Louis just can't place? Will Ellie be exonerated? That Boris seems like he has a lot to hide. Our story comes to a climactic end with some surprises and a new friend for George and Louis. New to Secrets, Crimes & Audiotape? Don't miss the next episode: subscribe today at smarturl.it/sca Thank you to our sponsors: Blue Apron - Get 3 meals free on your first order when you visit them here: www.blueapron.com/secrets Sleep Number - Save $600 on the Sleep Number I8 bed when you visit them at an authorized Sleep Number store. And don't forget to tell them that David From Secrets, Crimes & Audiotape sent you. Zip Recruiter - Try Zip Recruiter and post your jobs for free when you visit them here: www.ZipRecruiter.com/Secrets We'd like to hear from you. Find us on Twitter @SecretsCrimes or Facebook.com/SecretsCrimes, and please complete a quick survey at www.wondery.com/survey. Have a question or comment? You can always email us at secrets@wondery.com or give us a call at 424-224-5711

The plot thickens as all of the tenants present their theories of who killed poor Mrs. Chase. We meet a few more of this colorful and rather discontented community. George gets closer to Ellie, as Detective Miller closes in on her as his most likely suspect. And Louis proves that cats do, indeed, have nine lives. New to Secrets, Crimes & Audiotape? Don't miss the next episode: subscribe today at smarturl.it/sca Thank you to our sponsors: Blue Apron - Get 3 meals free on your first order when you visit them here: www.blueapron.com/secrets Sleep Number - Save $600 on the Sleep Number I8 bed when you visit them at an authorized Sleep Number store. And don't forget to tell them that David From Secrets, Crimes & Audiotape sent you. Zip Recruiter - Try Zip Recruiter and post your jobs for free when you visit them here: www.ZipRecruiter.com/Secrets We'd like to hear from you. Find us on Twitter @SecretsCrimes or Facebook.com/SecretsCrimes, and please complete a quick survey at www.wondery.com/survey. Have a question or comment? You can always email us at secrets@wondery.com or give us a call at 424-224-5711

Upper West Blues is a comic murder mystery set in an apartment building in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. When one of the long time tenants is discovered dead in her apartment, everyone is a bit edgy as this diverse and eccentric group of building mates tries to find the perpetrator and an unexpected master sleuth is revealed. New to Secrets, Crimes & Audiotape? Don't miss the next episode: subscribe today at smarturl.it/sca Thank you to our sponsors: Blue Apron - Get 3 meals free on your first order when you visit them here: www.blueapron.com/secrets Sleep Number - Save $600 on the Sleep Number I8 bed when you visit them at an authorized Sleep Number store. And don't forget to tell them that David From Secrets, Crimes & Audiotape sent you. Zip Recruiter - Try Zip Recruiter and post your jobs for free when you visit them here: www.ZipRecruiter.com/Secrets We'd like to hear from you. Find us on Twitter @SecretsCrimes or Facebook.com/SecretsCrimes, and please complete a quick survey at www.wondery.com/survey. Have a question or comment? You can always email us at secrets@wondery.com or give us a call at 424-224-5711