Podcasts about 'ah

Welcome to Season 5 of The Well Read Poem with poet and classicist Thomas Banks. Throughout this season, we will be exploring the poetry of Walter de la Mare. De la Mare was a great Gothic writer and was very interested in the atmosphere of the uncanny. Poem begins at timestamp  . Check out our sister podcast, The Literary Life Podcast, for more great discussions of literature! Ghost By Walter de la Mare 'Who knocks? ' 'I, who was beautiful Beyond all dreams to restore, I from the roots of the dark thorn am hither, And knock on the door.' 'Who speaks? ' 'I -- once was my speech Sweet as the bird's on the air, When echo lurks by the waters to heed; 'Tis I speak thee fair.' 'Dark is the hour!' 'Aye, and cold.' 'Lone is my house.' 'Ah, but mine? ' 'Sight, touch, lips, eyes gleamed in vain.' 'Long dead these to thine.' Silence. Still faint on the porch Brake the flames of the stars. In gloom groped a hope-wearied hand Over keys, bolts, and bars. A face peered. All the grey night In chaos of vacancy shone; Nought but vast sorrow was there -- The sweet cheat gone.

Opazujem ljudi. Sami mrki, zaskrbljeni obrazi. Gledam ljudi. Vidim resne, nemirne obraze. Pa se spomnim na prijateljico. Imela je težko otroštvo in mladost. Tudi zakon ji je šel po zlu. Od takrat nenehno išče način, kako bi našla mir v svoji duši. Posluša, kaj pravijo angeli, kaj ta terapevt ali oni. Hodi na predavanja, na seanse in vse mogoče, samo da bi našla mir v duši. Tudi name ne pozabi, vestno mi pošilja e-sporočila, čeprav je nekoč že posumila, da jih ne berem. Jih res ne? Zakaj ne? Ker preprosto ne potrebujem teh napotkov in besed. Kadar mi je težko, se spomnim na svojo bolezen. Na raka. Na dneve, ko sem zbolela, na operacije in zdravljenje. Na čas, ki je bil poln bolečin, a obenem čas najintenzivnejšega učenja. Na dneve, ko sem potovala v globino sebe. Iskala in se srečala z Bogom. Na čas, ko sem po štiridesetih letih znova stopila v cerkev. Spomni me na moje plahe korake in solze, ki so tekle po licu, kot bi spirale moje grehe in čistile pot, ki sem jo prehodila do takrat. Kot bi pred menoj pogrinjale bel in čist prt za pot, ki me je čakala. Čeprav se sliši nenavadno, je bilo res tako. Res sem ozdravela, ne da bi tekala od enega do drugega zdravilca. Našla sem Boga in začela hoditi po novi, boljši, čistejši poti z njim in božjim mirom v srcu. Mogoče me zato žalosti, ko poslušam prijateljico, ki bega od enega do drugega. Ko jo vedno znova poslušam: 'Ah, ta ni v redu. Spet mi ni nič pomagalo. Jaz sem še vedno nervozna, vsa živčna.' Ko je mene preplavil strah in ko sem iskala mir, sem vzela v roke Sveto pismo. Brala sem Jezusove besede: … nosi svoj križ in hodi za menoj … … izroči svoje težave v moje naročje … … mir vam zapustim, svoj mir vam dam … Mogoče je težko verjeti, a njegove besede so me zares začele pomirjati. Vlivale so mi moči in krepile vero. Tudi bolečine bolezni so bile lažje oziroma jim nisem posvečala posebne pozornosti. Pisala sem pravljice in nisem več iskala miru pri zdravilcih in psihologih, ampak v branju Svetega pisma in poslušanju božje besede. Tako, na tak način imam in občutim božji mir. Lepo mi je. Neskončno sem hvaležna bolezni, raku, ki me je pripeljal na pravo pot in mi na stežaj odprl vrata božjega miru. Upam si reči, da me je oplemenitil. Naučil me je strpnosti, ponižnosti in … Vedno znova mi vliva moči, da premagujem vse ovire. Da zmorem skrbi položiti v njegovo naročje in se ob molitvi vsak dan znova prebujam v njegovem objemu.

Why even as an authority, you don't need to know everything.The “rules” of improv and how to develop your own framework.Handling Q+A after a talk (hint: positioning your talk strategically almost guarantees you won't get stumped by a technical question).Running sales calls with a three-step process that allows you to let go of the formalities and focus on your client's desired outcomes. How to get the most out of exploratory meetings with potential partners and influencers. Quotables“In a sales interview…or a sales meeting, you're on the spot. You don't get a do over. You just have to look at it as practice for the next time.”—JS“It is almost impossible to be stumped if you're positioning the talk with a strategic intent. People probably aren't going to be asking you technical questions—they're going to be asking you the strategic or even visionary questions.”—RM“If you're doing Q + A and somebody hits you with a stumper of a question, you could turn it back to the audience…and say, 'Ah, interesting question. Does anybody else have the same issue?'”—JS“When in a sales meeting, I want to be the instrument to get them where they want to go.”—RM“If you're looking for an improv framework, look no further than The Why Conversation, where I talk about the three different why questions for running a sales interview.”—JS“If the conversation is a little too tactical, asking that next level up question, or even two levels up question is going to help make it strategic. And it's also going to frame how they see you.”—RM“In the sales meeting, there's this back and forth. It's like a volley of  tennis—you've just got to keep hitting the ball back over the net.”—JS“You don't want to be the guy on the white horse coming in with all of the answers on what their transformation should look like. The answer is in the client and it's our job to ferret it out.”—RM

"Say, 'Ah.'” Those two words may fill you with dread if you’re sitting in a dentist’s chair. You’re being asked to open your mouth so that they may see inside. Isaiah’s mouth must have opened wide all by itself when he was given a vision of God seated in glory.

Quando i podcast sono fatti bene, riescono anche a farti appassionare a storie di macchine e motori. Gomme, il podcast di Gianfranco Bitti, è fatto bene. Disclaimer #1: conosco molto bene Gianfranco. Disclaimer #2: è vero che lo conossco molto bene, ma non parlerei del suo podcst se non pensassi veramente che vale la pena ascoltaro. LINKIl podcast Gomme https://www.spreaker.com/show/gommeTRASCRIZIONE TESTOOggi voglio dedicare i miei tre minuti gezzi ad un podcast, un podcast che non è mio. Inizio però con un'avvertenza, e cioè che quello che in inglese si chiama disclaimer: è il poodcast del mio compagno di vita e di avventure e di tutto il resto, Gianfranco. Il podcast in questione si chiama Gomme e ne voglio parlare non perché il podcast del mio compagno, ma perché è un podcast che mi piace, Allora, di cosa parla Gomme? Come dal titolo avrete capito, parla di motori. A me dei motori non me n'è mai fregato niente, non sono un'appassionata di motori nè di macchine, però Gomme ha la caratteristica di parlare di macchine, ma di tutto quello che c'è attorno di costume di società di filosofia e anche di storia. Ad esempio, una delle ultime puntate parla del sesso in macchina, cioè come dagli anni '60 quando era normale fare sesso in macchina, fino agli anni '70 agli anni '80, come oggi siano sempre meno le persone che fanno sesso in macchina e fa una piccola una piccola analisi della società e spiega che mentre prima tutti ragazzi non vedevano l'ora di compiere 18 anni per avere la macchina finalmente avere un po' di libertà, ai ragazzi alle ragazze, non ne frega più niente di prendere la patente, posso confermare, e magari se vogliono intrattenersi con il compagno o la compagna preferiscono prendersi un Airbnb un bed and breakfast o qualcosa, mentre negli anni '80 tutte queste piccole strutture facili, agili, dove si poteva andare a dormire non esistevano. Un'altra delle delle puntate che ho fatto racconta, l'ultima, racconta di questo rally in Africa stranissimo dove c'erano i cannibali, i tagliatori di teste, dove nessuno è arrivato in finale. Però ripeto sono storie che lui racconta sempre, sì sono storie che parlano di macchine, però possono interessare anche una persona che è poco interessata alle macchine e mi fa sempre piacere parlare di podcast quando trovo qualcosa in italiano che mi piace e qui forse sono un po' di parte perché l'autore del podcast lo conosco molto bene, gli ho anche dato qualche consiglio, però non ve lo suggerirei se non pensassi realmente che è un podcast che, diciamo, migliora il panorama di quello che è disponibile in Italia. Sto diventando un po', un po' burbera per quanto riguarda i podcast. Diciamo che sono stanca di capitare nei nei forum di podcast dove c'è gente che scrive 'Ah mi è venuta un'idea, voglio fare un podcast. Mi potete dire come si fa a registrare? Come si fa a pubblicarlo? Come si fa a fare il logo? Come si fa...?' insomma vogliono che gli altri facciano tutto per loro senza fare un minimo di ricerca. Invece Gianfranco ha fatto i compiti e li ha fatti bene.

Todd: OK, Charlotte. You've been a teacher for quite a while.Charlotte: Yeah, I started about three years ago. My first job was in Jessif, in the east of Poland. I was promised that I wasn't going to have to teach any beginners or any little children because it was my first job. I was promptly given the beginner infants.My first day of teaching I was given a book which said, 'Ah! Go into the classroom and say "Hello" to the children and they'll all say "Hello" back to you and wave. I walked into a class of five four-year-olds, followed by all their mothers and grandmothers and I said, "Hello" and they all burst into tears burst into tears.I spent half the lesson trying to get them to say, "Hello" to each other and stop them from crying while all the grandmothers stood around and stared at me. I finally finished off my singing the whatever Happy Princess Song, all on my own, with crying infants to accompany me. It was one of the worst days of my life. I could identify with all the children though because I wanted to sit on the floor and cry with them by the end of it. I think that that was when I realized that teaching kids was never going to be my vocation. I had some other classes as well but quickly soon after that and moved onto adults who cry slightly less. Yeah, that was my first teaching experience. Not the best.

JEFF STERNS CONNECTED THROUGH CARS   please SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, COMMENT and SHARE! (thank you!) 1:05​ Don on riding in a Le Mans racecar with Derek Bell "we, we missed the apex, and I'm, you know, I've done enough driving on track to know the line and you know, how to drive the car and where we should have been. And I could see that we missed it. And I looked over at him instinctively. And he looked over at me, and he, and this is while he's managing the car close to 100 miles an hour in a corner. He looked over at me and said, 'How much do you weigh?' And I answered him, and he kind of it calculated in his brain. And he said, 'Ah, I understand now'. And he corrected, he corrected the slide, we were sliding away from the apex." 4:06​ Don reminisces who he has met, been around, ate with: Phil Hill, Carroll Shelby, Rubens Barrichello, Michael Schumacher, Ayrton Senna Gerhard Berger, Johnny Herbert Mario Andretti, Nigel Mansell. 8:24​ Ducati is therapy. 11:48​ Don was at Frankfurt Auto show with Ferrari when 9/11 happened. Jeff was in a Cadillac, Land-Rover Rolls, Bentley, Lotus showroom. 13:50​ (the night of 9/11) Don: The president of Ferrari sitting next to Giorgio Djaro, the designer, and Pininfarina, who are two of the greatest Italian designers of design, most of the Maseratis and Ferraris that have ever been created. And there's these two guys sitting at the table next to me having dinner. While all this surreal news is coming over about New York. So I was staying in Modena in a hotel. And the only channel that was in English was CNN. So I was watching, you know, from, I'd get back after dinner every night, and I'd flip the TV on and watch CNN for four or five hours until the wee hours of the morning, just to try to stay on top of what was going on back home. And I was in Italy, in Italy for three weeks. So it was it was crazy. And when I came back, I remember in the in the car ride back, passing, you know, passing the city coming back from Newark Airport, you could still see the smoldering coming from the city that that many weeks later, and it was just so heartbreaking. 17:15​ Jeff: you know, kept me out of college? 20:25​ Don on travel: Geneva, Frankfurt & Paris for the Auto Shows, And car factories are fascinating: Detroit, Pontiac,Van Nuys, Lotus, Bentley, McLaren, Ferrari and Maserati. 21:27​ Finland-ice driving on a frozen lake. 23:22​ the Scandinavian Flick. 25:53​ Don on driving Bugatti Veyron. 26:48​ the best advice Don has ever given someone. 30:55​ Jeff reveals how he wants to die.

Preamble Welcome, young listener, to the wise and venerable MindGames podcast! In this month's episode, we discuss ageing, both in terms of growth ('coming of age') and decline ('senescence'). This month, we tackle big questions around how games have 'come of age' over the past 40 years; do they age gracefully, or are we perpetually enraptured by the cult of the new? In what ways have games presented the process of getting older and experiencing more about the world and ourselves, and how does this reflect the life journeys of their players and designers? Sit back and rest those weary bones as we ramble about all these questions - and stick around to the end for a real nail-biter of a MindGames Game!   Today's Games (in order of appearance): GoldenEye 007 (Rare) King's Quest (Sierra Entertainment) Passage (Jason Rohrer) Pokémon (GameFreak) Final Fantasy VII (Square Enix) The Last of Us (Naughty Dog) Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Intelligent Systems, Koei Tecmo) The Longing (Studio Seufz) Massive Chalice (Double Fine, Brad Muir) Crusader Kings 3 (Paradox Interactive) Wildermyth (Worldwalker Games) Chronos: Before the Ashes (Gunfire Games) Did we miss any games that you think we should have discussed? Let us know at themindgamespodcast@gmail.com   **This Month's Weird Games** One Hour One Life (Jason Rohrer) Paul Matijevic, 'Ah, dang! Mothman won't move out (he said it was just for the weekend)' (Check it out here, and support the creator as much as you can: https://ettin.itch.io/mothman?download) Agarest: Generations of War (Idea Factory, Red Entertainment and Compile Heart)   **The MindGames Game** MINDGAMES BLACKJACK Rules: You'll be asked to provide games that meet a certain criteria. You must give answers that, collectively, are as close to 21 years old as possible. At any point you can ‘stick', banking your collective years. You will each take turns to give responses until each person has decided to stick. If you exceed 21, you strike out and get no points. If a game has been used, it cannot be used for the remainder of the game. 1 point if you win, 0 points if you lose or 'strike out'. Oldest player goes first (age before beauty)! Questions: Give me games that feature a male main character. Give me games that have a female main character. Give me board games. Give me games that start with a vowel.   Special thanks to the following Reddit users, who helped with the research for this episode: u/DrunkenMonkeyNU u/ZakAmetyst u/savaghost u/fishwithfish u/King_Allant u/OneManFreakShow u/catinterpreter Don't forget to follow us at @mindgamespod for updates whenever new episodes go live, and subscribe on your favourite podcast app.

Do you think 'Ah', 'Ums', 'ands' are pulling down the caliber of your message? Is it really necessary to reduce our filler words? Well it definitely is but there is another magical entity which takes precedence over crutch words. Find out what that entity is and some actionable tips to reduce your filler words on this episode of Talk Your Way Up. For regular updates and additional content, follow us on:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talkyourwayup/LinkedIn: https://in.linkedin.com/company/talk-your-way-upBlogs: https://gotalkup.com/

Lockdown of geen lockdown een ding is zeker aan het begin van 2021: Eurosonic Noorderslag gaat door! Wel in een digitaal jasje, maar hey, je kunt nu wel gewoon vanuit je luie stoel alle toffe nieuwe artiesten uit Europa checken. Om je een handje te helpen, hebben Teo en Deejay Irie een oude rot uit het vak te gast. Grunnsonic-projectleider Frank de Boer komt uit de doeken doen welke Groningse acts dit jaar het neusje van de zalm zijn. Teo en Irie hebben zelf een Eurosonic-lijstje samengesteld. Check de hoogtepunten uit deze lijstjes hieronder. Enjoy! Grunnsonic Frank de Boer komt met een mondkapje op de studio in. Hij is al een paar weken bezig met de opnames van liveshows in Simplon. 'Dit is de enige manier waarop we de acts voor Grunnsonic nog een soort van live optreden kunnen geven tijdens Eurosonic.' Grunnsonic is de Groningse tak van Eurosonic: Frank maakt vanuit de Groninger Popkoepel POPgroningen een selectie van lokale acts die het afgelopen jaar hard gewerkt hebben aan hun muziek. Zit je in een band? Luister dan naar de tips van de projectleider over hoe je releases kunt timen, je muziek kunt promoten en vooral hoe je in de line-up van Grunnsonic terecht komt. 'Wat is het idee van deze aflevering eigenlijk?' Goeie vraag Frank! We gaan lekker muziekjes luisteren en onze luisteraars tippen wat ze moeten checken tijdens deze editie van ESNS. Zullen we anders beginnen met jouw Grunnsonic-lijstje? 'Goed idee!' Grunnsonic tips van Frank de Boer Phole  De Groningse producer Rik van den Heuvel beter bekend als Phole is een van de pareltjes die we hier in Stad hebben rondlopen. Vanuit zijn studio in de Biotoop in Haren produceert hij gruwelijke tracks die zowel dromerig, complex, als rauw zijn. 'Vorig jaar trad hij met een liveband op. Dit jaar hebben we hem ook een spot in de lineup van Grunnsonic gegeven. Wat er precies gaat gebeuren is nog een verrassing en een primeur', zegt Frank. Spannend! 'Heel mooi dit', zegt Irie instemmend. WadAap 'Je kunt als artiest meerdere dingen doen', legt onze gast uit. 'Of je gaat vol mikken op de commerciële markt, of je blijft in de underground hangen en je skills verbeteren. Dat laatste is het geval bij WadAap.' Ja we horen het, zijn tracks zijn hard, door de jaren heen heeft deze act zich ontwikkeld op vele manieren. 'Ik ken de gast die zijn beats maakt', zegt Irie en zet De Eerste Stap aan. 'Je hoort gelijk dat het Planet Monkey is.'  Jadi D En nu we het over hiphop hebben: Frank wijst ons op Jadi D, een nieuwe belofte uit de Groninger scene. 'Ze heeft een hele fijne flow en goeie beats.' Aan het hoofd van Deejay Irie te zien is dit een winner. 'Vet hoor.' Vrouwelijke rappers, daar hebben we nog veel meer van nodig! De track On A Move is eentje om hard door je speakers te knallen. Jonathan Rhodes We barsten in lachen uit wanneer de eerste klanken van Jonathan Rhodes Seven door de studio klinken. Als dit niet op Tenacious D lijkt, dan weten we het ook niet meer. 'Je hoort hem gelijk, hè!' De winnaars van de POPgroningen Talent Award doen het volgens Frank de Boer goed. 'Deze act heeft echt z'n shit voor elkaar. Ik heb niet veel met het genre Americana, maar hoe zij het brengen is next level.' Hij legt uit dat tijdens de livestream van de finale de band een marketingteam had ingeschakeld om extra uitleg en visuals tijdens hun optreden te verzorgen. 'Dan weet je wel hoe jezelf wilt neerzetten.' Eurosonic-tips van Teo Alyona Alyona - Oekraine:   Als dit de lerares van je kind zou zijn, nou dan weet je dat het goed komt. Deze chick uit Oekraïne is sterk in muziek, teksten en voorkomen. Alyona Alyona's debuut plaat Ribki - visjes in het Oekraïens, wat straattaal is voor meisjes als Alyona die niet geaccepteerd zijn door de samenleving - ging gelijk viraal. De single Salischaju swij dim - Oekraïens voor: ik verlaat mijn huis - is nu al een hymne voor de jeugd die graag korte metten maakt met de traditionele leven en zich inzet voor een betere toekomst. 'Dit is echt supervet', zegt onze gast Frank de Boer. Irie moet tijdens het kijken van de videoclip van Pushki keihard lachen. 'Man, de vertaling van haar teksten staat er in het Engels bij. Ze is echt scherp hoor.' Nu wil het zo zijn dat Alyona Alyona niet alleen op Eurosonic staat, maar ook nog eens in de strijd is voor beste aanstormend talent van Europa bij de Music Moves Europe Talent Award. Een echte must-see dus. Sassy 009 - Noorwegen  Een ander pareltje uit Music Moves Europe Talent Award-lijst is Sassy 009. Op het eerste gezicht is het een doorsnee hipster-act met dromerige deuntjes en een videoclip die gefilmd is met een analoge camera. Geef het een kans, want na de eerste minuut begint het geheel op te bouwen richting een climax die je niet verwacht. Sassy 009 is het soloproject van de 23-jarige Noorse zangeres en producer Sunniva Lindgård. Haar composities kenmerken zich door zware baslijntjes, lekker synth vibes en opzwellende beats. Zowel Frank als Irie knikken goedkeurend. 'Waar komt ze vandaan?' Uit Noorwegen, Frank. 'Ah ja, vet hoor.' Als je meer van haar wilt horen check dan haar EP Kill Sassy 009 uit 2019. Die zit vol met lekkere techno-achtige beats. 'Ja, ga ik zeker doen.' Altin Gün - Amsterdam De Amsterdams-Turkse band Altin Gün is voor de liefhebbers van psychedelische tracks een echte must-hear. Ze hebben in de afgelopen jaren al hun sporen verdient in het veld en keren nu terug met de single Ordunun Dereleri.  Maak je borst maar nat voor wat Anatolische rock en Turkse psychedelische folk, boys. Irie: 'Ik ben benieuwd man!' Een aantal minuten later zijn Frank en Irie aangenaam verrast. De eighties synthpop, de Turkse zanglijnen en de dromerige vibes just hit the spot. Lekker toch? 'Wel heel typisch dat hun platen op een Duitse label uitkomen', merk mijn partner in crime op. 'Oh je bent gelijk aan het graven', lacht Frank. 'Tuurlijk, gelijk doen als je vette muziek hoort.' Eurosonic-tips van Deejay Irie Froukje - Rotterdam 'Ik heb een hele artistieke dame gevonden', zegt Irie. 'Ze heet Froukje, komt uit Rotterdam en is nog maar achttien jaar. Als je de tekst van Eurosonic moet geloven is dit de nieuwe belofte van de Nederlandse alternatieve pop.' We zijn nu wel heel erg benieuwd Irie, hoe heet die track van haar? 'Nou, haar nieuwe single is lekker toepasselijk, want het heet Happy New Year.'  Frank en ik luisteren hoe een scherpe meisjesstem de ondergang van de wereld aankondigt. 'Zo, best heftig dit.' Irie lacht: 'Ze heeft recentelijk een contract bij Top Notch getekend, deze moeten we in de gaten houden.' Lous and the Yakuza - België De Congolees Marie-Pierra groeide op in Rwanda. Daar ging ze vol voor haar educatie, muziek en het schrijven van teksten. Haar passie om zangeres te worden leidt haar naar Brussel waar ze onder de artiestennaam Lous haar werk uitbrengt via Columbia/Sony. De debuutplaat Gore is het beeld van haar leven. Triest. Met de noodzaak om te lachen. 'Ik zag dit en vond het zo tof dat ik het aan mijn lijst heb toegevoegd', zegt Irie. De videoclip van Dilemme is zo gelikt en intens dat Frank en ik er stil van worden. NAVA - Italië De act waar de Iraanse zangeres Nava Golchini de frontvrouw van is, heet NAVA en man wat is deze muziek vet. Deejay Irie laat met een lachje de videoclip zien. Als je nooit tripmiddelen hebt gebruikt dan hoeft het na het zien van dit pareltje niet meer. De muziek en de visuals trekken je mee in een wormhole van elektronische muziek en Perzische folklore. Op de nieuwe EP Sarabe verkent NAVA de donkere kanten van de menselijke natuur. Wil je de volledige lijstjes van Frank de Boer, Deejay Irie en Teo horen? Luister dan naar deze aflevering van UNDERGRUNN. Om Eurosonic Noorderslag gratis online te volgen check je de website van ESNS. Grunnsonic streamt hun content op Twitch.

Bilim ve Sanat Vakfı - Küresel Araştırmalar Merkezi'nin 26 Mayıs 2007 tarihinde gerçekleştirdiği Harf Harf Kadınlar İhtisas Sempozyumu'nda, Fatma Samime İnceoğlu'nun sunduğu tebliğdir. Kendisi, ilk mu­har­ri­re­miz Fat­ma Ali­ye’nin ''Ah­met Cev­det Pa­şa ve Za­ma­nı'' ad­lı ça­lış­ma­sı baş­ta ol­mak üze­re di­ğer ça­lış­ma­la­rı ve tefri­ka ya­zı­la­rı üze­rin­den onun kendi dö­ne­mi­ne iliş­kin gö­rüş­le­ri­ni de­ğer­len­di­rmiştir.

Learn from Inventor, Entrepreneur, and CEO of Create A Castle as he shares his inventive journey. "Don't think that you are getting into this to get rich quick. It doesn't usually work like that. You can be deceived by some of the TV shows you see on there where people say 'Ah, I went viral overnight...' and 'this cost me $1000 to set it up...' Sometimes you can get lucky like that, I'm not saying you can't, but 90-99% of the time you're not gonna." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/the-inventive-journey/message

This week we chat to Lisa Gumieniuk! Lisa is based in Sydney, Australia and since 2000 she has worked in customer service, account management, project management roles and now helps busy women who are stressed, anxious, overwhelmed and tired to reach their full potential! She does this by creating a clear plan, finding their inner calm and ensuring they know they are in control of their life. In her corporate career, she was constantly stressed, anxious and overwhelmed. She has developed a range of tools and resources to help support you to go from surviving to thriving. We chat with Lisa about: Using her personal experience to develop her business. The 'Ah-a' moment watching a documentary. Being unable to work for 6 years due to chronic fatigue, anxiety, brain fog and gut issues. How Directors, CEO's, CFO's, Executives & Leaders can help their employees better in today's environment. Having 20+ mentors in her career and what value this brought her. The importance of putting the right fuel in your body. Practical ways to reduce personal stress in the body. You can learn more about Lisa here: https://www.lisagumieniuk.com/ and follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com//lisagumieniukcoach along with Linkedin here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-gumieniuk/ The 1:1 Career Conversation podcast, the podcast that meets with different peoples from around the world, learning about their career journeys, best practices, ways of working and learning opportunities. You can follow the show on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/theonetoonepod/ or Twitter at https://twitter.com/theonetoonepod You can also email the show at oneononeconversation@gmail.com Subscribe now for weekly episodes, delivered every Monday to your podcast app of choice!

In this episode of 'Tales From Wisteria Lane' we, the boyfriends, review Season One - Episode Two of Desperate Housewives, 'Ah, But Underneath'. Lets see what the ladies get up to this time! You can also follow us on: Instagram: @boyfriendsreview Twitter: @bfsreview Email: boyfriendsreview@outlook.com And follow our friend Louie who designs our art work on instagram @docredmonkdesign which also has a link to his Etsy page, he takes commissions guys!

His Grace shares with us words from St. Dorotheos of Gaza and St. Macarius of Egypt about seeking guidance. St. Dorotheos of Gaza said: "In the Book of Proverbs it says, 'Those who have no guidance fall like leaves but there is safety in much counsel.'Take a good look at this saying, brothers. Look at what Scripture is teaching us. It assures us that we should not set ourselves up as guide posts, that we should not consider ourselves sagacious, that we should not believe we can direct ourselves. We need assistance, we need guidance in addition to God's grace. No one is more wretched, no one is more easily caught unawares, than a man who has no one to guide him along the road to God. It says, 'Those who have no guidance fall like leaves'. Leaves are always green in the beginning, they grow vigorously and are pleasing to look at. Then after a short time they dry up and fall off, and in the end they are blown about by the wind and trodden under foot. So is the man who is not guided by someone. At first he has great fervor about fasting, keeping vigil, keeping silence, and obedience and other good customs. Then after a short time the fire is extinguished and, not having anyone to guide him and strengthen him and kindle his fire again, he shrivels up and so, becoming disobedient, he falls and finally becomes a tool in the hand of his enemies, who do what they like with him." St. Macarius of Egypt said: "When Abba Macarius dwelt in the great desert, he was the only one living as an anchorite, but lower down there was another desert where several brothers dwelt. The old man was surveying the road when he saw Satan drawing near in the likeness of a man and he passed by his dwelling...The old man said to him, 'Where are you off to? 'He said, 'I am going to stir up the memories of the brethren.’..With these words he departed...The old man said, 'Ah, you did not find any friends down there?’ He replied, 'Yes, I have a monk who is a friend down there. He at least obeys me and when he sees me he changes like the wind.’ The old man asked him the name of this monk. 'Theopemtus,’ he replied. With these words he went away. Then Abba Macarius got up and went to the desert below his own...he inquired which was the one on the mountain called Theopemptus, and when he had found out he went to his cell. Theopemptus received him with joy. When he was alone with him the old man asked him, 'How are you getting on?’ Theopemptus replied, 'Thanks to your prayers, all goes well.’ The old man asked: 'Do not your thoughts war against you?’ He replied: 'Up to now, it is all right,’ for he was afraid to admit anything. The old man said to him, 'See how many years I have lived as an ascetic, and am praised by all, and though I am old, the spirit of fornication troubles me.’ Theopemptus said, 'Believe me, Abba, it is the same with me.’ The old man went on admitting that other thoughts still warred against him, until he had brought him to admit them about himself... He was watching the road once more when he saw the devil, to whom he said, 'Where are you going this time?’ He replied, 'To arouse the memories of the brothers,’ and he went away. When he came back the saint asked him, 'How are the brothers? 'He replied that it had gone badly. The old man asked him why. He replied, 'They are all obdurate, and the worst is the one friend I had who used to obey me. I do not know what has changed him, but not only does he not obey me anymore, but he has become the most obdurate of them all. So I have promised myself not to go down there again at least not for a long time from now.’ When he had said this, he went away leaving the old man, and the saint returned to his cell."

SB Nation's Silver Screen & Roll writer and editor-in-chief Harrison Faigen discusses the present state of the Los Angeles Lakers as uncertainty swirls around a potential NBA return this season. 7:56-9:03: "The only way to change this (mental health stigma) and have people be more comfortable talking about it is to have more people talk about it openly and have it not be that big of a deal. And so I want it to not be a big deal when I talk about being afraid to go outside or being afraid to go back to work. These are things we all feel on some level or another...We're all feeling that, and everyone who's struggling should be able to talk about that. One of the most insidious things, at least with my own mental illness, was it made me feel like I was weird and that there was something wrong with me and that you shouldn't talk about it because other people aren't going to be able to relate. What I've found through talking to other people...and the overwhelming feedback to the piece was that there a lot of other people going through these same things, and that appreciated that I was willing to talk about it.”14:18-15:38: "Nobody was seriously thinking that LeBron (James) was washed (up), but there were more doubts about him going into this season than there probably ever have been...He's mostly been a really important part of the Lakers defense, he's been basically their sole competent ball handler on offense, and for him to be doing that at 35 with the workload that he needs to take on and not really load-managing...I think it's probably as good of a 35-year-old season as anyone's ever had."20:49-22:17: "I'll put my hand up and fully admit that I was skeptical when the Lakers brought him back like I think almost everyone was. It was kinda like (Dion) Waiters, where you could look on paper at the fit and be like, ‘Yeah, they do need another big man. They need a guy who can take some center minutes.’ ... At the same time, we've been saying Dwight could be that guy for his last eight seasons in the league basically, and he just has never wanted to do those things or showed prolonged commitment to doing those things...Bottom line: I think he knew this was his last shot. If this didn't work out, you may not have seen a team sign Dwight Howard the next time around."26:05-26:17: "I just don't get the sense that they would have given up everything that they gave up if they were not getting strong indications from Anthony Davis and Rich Paul and LeBron that AD was going to stay for a while."32:19-32:28: "For someone who covers the Lakers, it's the best season that I've ever covered. It has also been easily the most exhausting."33:41-35:22: "The Clippers are...not only are they kind of the little brother team in the Staples Center building. I think sometimes a Lakers fan will (have an) 'Ah, no, I don't acknowledge (the Clippers) vibe, when really that's the Lakers' chief rival right now, whether you want to admit it or not. But there's this dismissiveness of it and this kind of animosity between the fan bases, but it's the most passive-aggressive rivalry I've ever seen. ... It seems like there's genuine dislike between the two teams as much as they've tried to downplay it throughout the year. Both teams know that they were constructed to beat the other one, and it really showed out there on the court. Those felt like playoff games."42:35-44:00: "The thing that I kept coming back to in the days after he passed was the last time that I saw him in person. … I remember we were walking around Disneyland, and I saw this really tall guy and I was like, "Wait a second. Is that Kobe?" He was just walking around with his kids. … He had the second-youngest on his shoulders, and he was bouncing her around, and he just looked really happy and just wandering around with his kids through Frontierland. It was cool to see him like that, and it was cool just to think back on that memory and how close he was with his daughters. It made it more sad in retrospect as well, but it's the one that I kept coming back to because it really emphasized, I think, who he became as he aged, and he really had committed to being a family man and being a #girldad and that was where his passion had went."Harrison's story on mental health: https://www.silverscreenandroll.com/2020/3/16/21181634/basketball-our-oasis-what-do-we-do-when-its-been-ripped-away-lakers-coronavirus-nba-season-suspended

Emiel Joorman, beter bekend als cultheld Willie Darktrousers, is illustrator, troubadour, producer en op zijn eigen artistieke manier een filosoof. Tijdens de COVID-19 lockdown laat deze Hanze-alumnus zich niet kisten en gaat vol in de creatieve modus. We openen deze aflevering met de nieuwe track van Willie Darktrousers, Winterslaap. Duister, hard en to the point. 'Hoe ga je dit aan je kinderen verkopen', vraagt de artiest aan de wereld. We weten immers niet hoe dit pandemische avontuur gaat aflopen. Geboren en getogen in het Oost-Friese dorpje Donkerbroek is Willie het product van een simpel en bescheiden bestaan. 'Ja dat protestantse zit zeker wel in mijn opvoeding', lacht hij. 'Niet zozeer als geloof, maar meer als manier van leven. Je hebt niet zoveel nodig.' Wie deze kunstenaar in het echt gezien heeft weet dat hij deze bescheidenheid met zich meedraagt. Helemaal in het zwart gekleed met zijn kenmerkende lange haren onder de zwarte hoed. Zijn naam verwijst naar zijn dorp en zijn lachje laat weten dat we alles met een korrel zout moeten nemen. Willie Darktrousers' nieuwe EP Eenzame Hoogte is net uit. Hij dropte hem zo vlak voordat de wereld in een zucht veranderde. Dikke beats, lekkere hiphop en veel auto-tune. We houden ervan. Maar we kennen je toch voornamelijk van je singer-songwriter materiaal en je band Willie Darktrousers en De Splinters. Waar komt deze hiphop vibe vandaan? 'Ik luister veel naar hiphop en ik produceer al best lang muziek op mijn computer. Daarom was het voor mij niet een hele rare wending.' De kunstenaar behoudt wel zijn stijltje, zelfs al is het in een genre dat we niet van hem gewend zijn. 'Wat is mijn stijltje dan?' Ja, een beetje schemerig. Net als in de Biebelebons. 'Ah ja, daar kan ik mee leven.' Daar waar Deejay Irie en ik puur praktisch kijken naar de wereld en wat er op dit moment gebeurt, leert Willie ons een andere invalshoek kennen. 'Is dit niet de manier van Moeder Aarde om aan te geven dat we te ver zijn gegaan? We moeten even alles opnieuw evalueren.' De man in het zwart denkt dat het allemaal niet zo moeilijk hoeft te zijn om de wereld een beetje beter te maken. Gewoon minder vliegvakanties, slechts een keer in de week vlees eten, 'en daar kom je al een heel eind mee.' En m'n powerlift gains dan? 'Hou je bek Teo',  lacht Irie. 'Die Schwarzenegger-shit bewaar je maar voor een andere keer.' Okidoki! Wil je weten wat Willie Darktrousers aan het schrijven is op dit moment, hoe hij rondkomt als kunstenaar en waarom hij de weddenschap wanneer de evenementenbranche weer op volle toeren gaat draaien denkt te gaan winnen? Huh, weddenschap? Yup, we hebben er één! Wat er op het spel staat hoor je in deze aflevering van Beter Op Papier met Willie Darktrousers.   S/O naar onze matties van DATmag. Hosts Deejay Irie en Teo Lazarov. Extra high five op afstand aan producer Epic Eric.

"Estou eu na praia, com um biquinão asa-delta todo enfiado na bunda, aquele momento anos 80. Vem um cara e fala assim: 'Tudo bem, Claudia? Sou da Globo e queria te chamar para vir fazer um teste'. Falei: 'Prazer, Raquel Welch'. Continuei para o mar e falei: 'Ah, gente, era só o que me faltava essa pessoa me cantando aqui'. E era o Paulo Cursino, que era um dos redatores do 'Viva o Gordo'. Não levei a sério. Minha mãe foi no meu lugar, porque achei que era uma bela de uma cantada. Chegou lá, ela falou: 'Filha, é a Globo'", contou.

'Ah, to be one of the people living in the teeny tiny houses I spy along the seafront from my seat on the bus...I can't ever imagine awaking unhappy if that was waiting for me each and every morning'

"You have to give up a little bit of control in that (creative) process....it is an iterative process and allowing people to be as creative and crazy as you possibly could imagine and then noticing when there was really a fantastic moment that we all had to say, 'Ah-ha! that's it, let's go there.'" Deborah Rutter on Green Connections Radio As we cope with complete upheaval in our lives and work due to the coronavirus pandemic, it’s time to step back, take a breath, and find creative ways forward.  But how? Some of us are naturally creative, others of us are managers and leaders, needing to elicit and nurture creative ideas from our teams.  But how? Listen to this enlightening and inspiring conversation between Green Connections Radio host Joan Michelson and a master at doing this: Deborah Rutter, President of The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for The Performing Arts, the nation’s premier arts center. You You'll hear: How Rutter successfully elicits and nurtures creative people, helping them bring forth their best ideas and solutions. About Rutter’s secret weapon to managing for creativity: “listening for understanding, compassion and beyond…” Why patience, “waiting and letting an idea simmer” without controlling the process is so important – even in a world driven by instant feedback… and how it birthed their “Sound health” initiative with a renowned musical star. Why ROI – return on impact – with a focus on fulfilling your mission is a better metric than a focus on dollars. And great career advice too! Read my Forbes blog about my interview with Deborah too.             “My special talent is, I work hard…I talk about this with my daughter all the time…I’m persistent and I work really hard. If you keep working hard, if you think about other people probably more than you think about yourself, you will have opportunities. ” Deborah Rutter on Green Connections Radio podcast You may also like: Courtney Bickert, comedienne and consultant who uses comedy to drive innovative ideas with various industries. Ingrid Daubechies, “Genius” awardee, Duke University professor, whose work you probably use every day. Angela Duckworth, Author of “Grit: The power of passion and perseverance,” TED Talk superstar, and Univ. of Pennsylvania professor Angela Dutton, “Genius” awardee, and sea-level rise “detective.” Hire the Outliers: What Else We Can Learn From Megan Rapinoe”: my Forbes blog on hiring for creativity and innovation. Thanks for subscribing on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts and leaving us a review! Also, join our Facebook Page  and share your insights! Join our mailing list to stay up to date on the top podcasts and special coaching offers! Email us or follow/DM us @joanmichelson    

How do I explain this? At the age of seven, I had a mystical experience that showed me for one, I could pick up almost any musical instrument and play it. Not true of course, but that didn’t stop me from trying. I loved stringed orchestra music the most at the time as I felt it expressed the emotions the best. And at age seven I was already an emotional wreck because of life circumstance. So I took violin lessons, age eight cello, age nine stand-up bass. In high school, I was the drummer in the one rock band that played a lot of the school gigs. LOL, We wanted to call our music “Acid Rock,” but the high school wouldn’t let us. We did a full set of originals, copied Led Zeppelin and Jimmy Hendrix… we were good too. Oh yeah, all the LSD explains a lot here too. Then there was the birthday my daughter bought me a piano! There's a messy story too of course ... I got the black Fender bass, she... the powder blue Telecaster. But that's when I truly found myself as a bass player, and bass as the lead instrument. These songs come from what I have called my LOST TAPES. Recorded mostly with a Korg KARMA music workstation keyboard, I purchased when I was offered to work on a movie score in 2000. It has tens of thousands of sampled instruments from around the world all played by masters of their craft on the best musical instruments in the world. It has an onboard sequencer/recording studio. I had endless tracks to work with. These were recorded in my home studio in the high elevations of the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. I had a home base in a small cabin on a lake near Durango. I was only there for days at a time as I was otherwise on my Non-Stop-Go 'Secret Teachings' book and speaking tour. My second bestseller at the time. I would get these short bursts of days off, ten days tops, and so sometimes I may drive 19 hours straight just to be home for four days in the studio. Track One: My Stargate Guitar - Orchestra Strings, bass, starry guitars.. all songs a journey of themselves to find home... finding themselves within themselves. Track Two: The Story of My Driving Meditation - This is really a story... It speaks of the ups and downs of everything. These would be the deep contemplation while driving distances in silence. Bells and Bass ending... Track Three: It's all an Interlude - an interlude... Life, death, rebirth, new cars, new lovers, new jobs, new illness, life, death, rebirth... It's all interlude. Track Four: Coming into Love from Love - This is who you are. This song is the story of that. Coming from Love, into this life just to learn to find out what love really is. Over and over again we move through lifetimes of samsara seeking happiness and longing Gods graces and Divine Love. Finally, one day, we awaken to what Love's true nature really is as Self. One Self as in Spiritual Self-Realization. A sixty string orchestra, bass and drums rule bringing this to a climax... or another level? Or to start over again? Track Five: Endlessly Starting Over... I thought of naming this song, 'Ah, Crap!' Does this sound similar? What is starting over for you right now? Did I mention the lifetime after time lifetime thing yet? Did I? Oh... It has a happy ending! Indian Tablas with Harps, bass, drums, guitars... oh my, another musical saga! Track Six: The Subtle Reams between Subtle Realms - Close your eyes... Track Seven: My Longing Guitar - Here I stack up a divine bass guitar and hot drum beat with endless layers of acoustic guitars, and strings for a vehicle to ride my fuzz-tone slide guitar into expressive bliss. Art by Stephanie-Lostimolo --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/padma-bhajan-bearji/message

In Part 2 of our conversation with Tedy Bruschi, presented by W.B. Mason, find out about his 'Ah, ha!' moment in the NFL. Also, learn the origin of his well-chronicled locker room breakdown, and the decision and risk in coming back to play professional football after suffering a stroke.

Episode 9 features host Abbie answering questions from our viewers! We cover topics of gender equality, facing investors, and what our 'Ah-haha!' moment was at Blended Sense. "Unanswered questions aren't just threats; they are challenges and catalysts." - Colin Wright

We start with the 'Ah ha' moments of the latest slew of financials (OGI, WEED, ACB, CURA, FIRE, TLRY and CRON). We also talk about plant breeders rights, the FDA's stance on cannabinoids, Alberta retail, other provincial rollouts, US vs Canada company performance, returns and repricing of retail product.

E aí, como você tá? 'Ah, daquele jeito né...' PARE COM ISSO! Entenda por que você NÃO deve falar dos seus problemas por aí. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/BrunoPadilha/message

Not writing what your inner parent says you “should” be writing? How to get over it.Fellow writers, KJ here. I have gathered you here today to discuss the moment last week when I sat down on my bed, surveying a pile of literary fiction, some of which I liked and some of which I most emphatically did not, and asked myself, as I have many times on other topics—should I be writing something other than what I am writing? Should I be good at something other than that which I am good at? This week, I lay it out there: sometimes I feel ashamed that I don’t write something more … serious. Then Sarina slaps me around a little, and Jess declares that even writers of serious stuff (I give her that title) sometimes feel like they’re not using their time wisely.Episode links and a transcript follow—but first, a preview of the #WritersTopFive that will be dropping into #AmWriting supporter inboxes on Monday, October 7, 2019: Top Five Reasons to Embrace NaWhateverWriMo. It’s a good one! And I happen to know the next one’s on dictation tools and is even better. Not joined that club yet? You’ll want to get on that. Support the podcast you love AND get weekly #WriterTopFives with actionable advice you can use for just $7 a month.As always, this episode (and every episode) will appear for all subscribers in your usual podcast listening places, totally free as the #AmWriting Podcast has always been. This shownotes email is free, too, so please—forward it to a friend, and if you haven’t already, join our email list and be on top of it with the shownotes and a transcript every time there’s a new episode.Keep scrolling—there’s some cool free stuff from Author Accelerator, below.LINKS FROM THE PODCASTThe Snobs and Me(essay) Jennifer WeinerFrom Uber Driving to Huge Book Deal(Adrian McKinty and The Chain)#AmReading (Watching, Listening)Jess: The Chain, Adrian McKinty, Pride and Prejudiceread by [Rosamund Pike] and Sense and Sensibilityread by [Emma Thompson]KJ AND Sarina: Things You Save In a Fire, Katherine Center#FaveIndieBookstoreThe Flying Pig, Shelburne VTFind more about Jess here, Sarina hereand about KJ here.If you enjoyed this episode, we suggest you check out Marginally, a podcast about writing, work and friendship.COOL OPPORTUNITIES FROM OUR SPONSOR:Every episode of #AmWriting is sponsored by Author Accelerator, the book coaching program that helps you get your work DONE—and they have two free webinars coming up. Details:CHARACTER CLINICAuthor Accelerator is excited to team up with Writers Helping Writers to showcase the NEW Character Builder tool in the One Stop for Writers software.Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi from One Stop for Writers and Author Accelerator coach Julie Artz will be co-hosting a free Character Clinic webinar on Tuesday, October 8 at 11 AM Pacific. During the event Julie, will be coaching a writer through the character work they have done using the Character Builder.We encourage everyone to register for the event even if you cannot attend live, as a replay will be sent to everyone who has registered.REGISTER FOR THE WEBINAR NOWTHE INSIDE OUTLINE Jennie Nash developed the Inside Outline in her work as a book coach, and it has been tested in the trenches by hundreds of writers. It can be used to help you start a book, to help you rescue one that isn’t working, and to guide a revision.We're hosting another webinar about this life-changing writing tool on Monday, October 14 at Noon Pacific/2 PM Central/3 PM Eastern.We encourage everyone to register for the event even if you cannot attend live, as a replay will be sent to everyone who has registered.REGISTER FOR THE WEBINAR NOWThe image in our podcast illustration is by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.Transcript (We use an AI service for transcription, and while we do clean it up a bit, some errors are the price of admission here. We hope it’s still helpful.)KJ:                                        00:01                    Hey there listeners, KJ here. In this episode, you’ll hear both me and Sarina give a shout-out to Author Accelerator’s Inside-Outlining process. The Inside-Outline is a took that helps you make sure your book has a strong enough spine to support the story you want to tell. It forces you to spot the holes in your character’s arc and your story logic before you throw 50 thousand words on the page—without being the kind of outline that feels limiting to writers who prefer to see where the story takes you. #AmWriting listeners have exclusive access to a free download that describes what the outline is, why it works and how to do it—and if you’re writing fiction or memoir, I highly encourage you to grab it. Use it before you write, while you’re writing or even as you’re doing final revisions to give your story the momentum that keeps readers turning pages. Only at https://www.authoraccelerator.com/amwriting. Is it recording?Jess:                                     00:01                    Now it's recording. Go ahead.KJ:                                        00:01                    This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone like I don't remember what I was supposed to be doing.Jess:                                     00:01                    All right, let's start over.KJ:                                        00:01                    Awkward pause, I'm going to rustle some papers.Jess:                                     00:01                    Okay.KJ:                                        00:01                    Now one, two, three. I'm KJ Dell'Antonia and this is #AmWriting. #AmWriting is the weekly podcast about writing all the things, be they fiction, nonfiction, proposals, pitches, essays, freelance work. This is the podcast about sitting down and getting your writing done.Jess:                                     01:40                    I'm Jess Lahey and I'm the author of the Gift of Failure and a book I'm just finishing, it's due so soon, on preventing childhood substance abuse and you can also find me at the Washington Post and The Atlantic and the New York Times and places like that.Sarina:                                 01:55                    And I'm Sarina Bowen. I'm the author of 30 odd, contemporary romance novels and you can find me at sarinabowen.com.KJ:                                        02:02                    They're not all odd. Sorry, I just had to, some of them, though. I am KJ Dell'Antonia, I always hit the softballs, and I am the author of How To Be a Happier Parent, the former editor of the New York Times' Motherlode blog, you can still find me as a contributor there. And I'm the author of a novel, The Chicken Sisters, which will be out next summer. That's who we are and we are downright giddy with joy today for Jess who is on the downhill slide, the good downhill slide.Jess:                                     02:49                    I'm just so discombobulated. So here's where I am. The day that we're recording this, I'm 14 days out from my book deadline. I am going to make it. I'm in the stretch, I'm in that place where nothing else happens. I haven't left the house in days. I am barely getting dressed in the morning. Yesterday I wrote for 14 hours straight, literally all I stopped to do a couple of times was let the dogs out and grab something that I'd already prepared and stuck in the refrigerator and microwave that. So, I'm in a crazy space, but there's something a little fun about being in that full deep dive. Like this is all I think about and my family's being really lovely. They're cooking for me, they're doing the laundry. I've got a lot of support, so that's great.KJ:                                        03:46                    Is this what the last deadline felt like, too? I do not remember.Jess:                                     03:50                    Well, here's the thing, I was talking to someone about that just recently. Writing a book is like having children, you forget a lot of the worst parts because you know, we'd never have children again if we remembered it all. And honestly, I handed in Gift of Failure a whole day early. I was very proud of myself. I don't remember it being this bonkers.KJ:                                        04:14                    I don't remember it being this bonkers for you. But I do remember all the bad parts about having children, but I'm not sure I remember the bad parts about you having children.Jess:                                     04:25                    Well keep in mind also, I learned a lot from doing Gift of Failure. So a lot of the editing that I had to do after the fact I'm now doing before the fact. It's really funny, every time I compile a chapter in Scrivener and then put it into Word for submitting to our agent and then later on to the editor, I've got this huge list of 'Have you done this?', 'Have you done that?' So when I finish a chapter, it takes me like two hours to go through all of my lists. Like search for all recurrences of the word that, and then remove like 50% of them. Have you used a hyphen the right way? How many commas are there? You know, that kind of crazy stuff that just saves Lori from having to remind me that I overuse the word that. So, yeah, there's a lot of my launch codes that have to be run before I submit. I don't remember it being this bonkers.KJ:                                        05:31                    This is your experience of finishing this book. Who knows? Like last time, maybe not quite like this. Next time, who knows?Jess:                                     05:39                    It's interesting. I did learn a lot last time and I feel better about what I'm producing this time simply because last time I didn't know. I was like, I had no idea if my editor was going to come back and say this is great or this is ridiculously bad. Because I had nothing, I had never done it before, I had nothing to judge it against. So this is really a different experience for me in a good way. In that number one, she's seen chapters as we go along and I've already gotten feedback on those chapters and oh my gosh, she loves it and that makes me so happy. But she's also been able to give me feedback and I've been able to change direction. So like the chapter I handed in last night is different from the previous three chapters because she'd given me feedback on those previous three chapters, which I'll go back and fix later. But I'm able to make course corrections midway, which has been really great. It has helped me eliminate a lot of work on the other end. So yeah, it's different. The answer to your question is I think it's different.KJ:                                        06:44                    I'm just probably different every, it's probably different every time up to a point. And now we turn to the author of some 30 odd books, Sarina. Is it different every time, up until it suddenly isn't different or is it still different every time?Sarina:                                 07:00                    You know, I am trying to make it less the same every time. Because you and I, KJ, have spent a lot of time lately thinking about outlining. And I'm trying to shift my whole game towards becoming a better outliner so that I don't have a repeat experience, which is 'freak out about the ending on every single book'.Jess:                                     07:26                    Well, but one thing I wanted to ask you about is you just recently had basically what I'm going through right now except with editing. And that seemed pretty intense for you. Does that stay the same or has that changed and does it depend on whether you're working with a coauthor?Sarina:                                 07:41                    Well, I shot myself in the foot a little bit and set up a month where I had to do edits on two books in the same month. And that that was just either bad luck or bad planning, take your pick. But I find it quite exhausting to have to make everything perfect on two books in a row where you don't give yourself the fun part of drafting and inventing in between to break up the tedium of perfection.Jess:                                     08:09                    Oh, that's a good point.KJ:                                        08:12                    When I was doing the big edit of my novel, I couldn't draft. I thought it was going to be able to. If you go back about eight podcasts, I'm like, 'I'm going to do both. I'm going to edit a little every day and I'll write a little every day. And that lasted a week. Mostly because the editing was just more intense. Drafting is fun, sometimes. Editing is fun, sometimes. Making things perfect, maybe not so much.Jess:                                     08:46                    Well, the 14 hours I spent yesterday were sort of a combination of the two. Mainly it was editing, which can be really tedious and all that stuff. But yesterday I did get to have one of those moments where it got a little buzzy and I was like, 'Oh, I like that.' I got to have those, even in the editing process. In fact, I changed how the chapter ended and I had one of those sort of moments where it feels like the minor chord changes to a major chord and there's that big breath you can take at the end and you're like, 'Ah, it works.' It was really a nice moment. And that happened in editing, so that was really fun.KJ:                                        09:29                    I just don't think I have ever had an experience of writing that feels like what I hear you reflecting. So part of me is sitting thinking should I be writing for 14 hours a day? That's not something that's up. I mean, I've had a full time writing job that sometimes took that, but I wouldn't have been writing the whole time. I would've been writing and editing and screaming and coding and frantically going through the comments and all the other things. The intensity with which you are writing right now is not something that I have ever experienced.Jess:                                     10:06                    Okay. Here's the thing, though. It's not about the intensity and it's not about the amount of time. The only, and this is really helpful information for me, the only times I have gotten this really serious - it's like a runner's high kind of thing. It's a writer's high. And the times I get it, reliably, are when I'm writing creative nonfiction. It happened when I wrote for Creative Nonfiction. That piece 'I've Taught Monsters'. It's happening in this book and the good news is that my editor is encouraging me to write more that way and less like a research paper, which is great cause I get less of it when I write that sort of sciency kind of stuff. But it's nice to know that there is this genre that gives me writer's high and it's the stuff I like to read the most. So, it's kind of like knowing what your sweet spot is. So for me it's a genre.KJ:                                        10:56                    That is the perfect segue into the topic, which I have gathered us here today to discuss. Which is - what we write, how much we choose that, and how much it chooses us, and how we feel about it. Which is a very complicated way of saying that I had a crisis of confidence last week in which I sort of sat down on the bed, convinced that the fact that I do not and will not and never going to write literary fiction, basically meant that I had wasted my entire education.Sarina:                                 11:36                    Well, I have a crisis of confidence pretty much every day at noon schedule.KJ:                                        11:56                    I wouldn't call it a crisis of confidence, though. I like the book that I wrote, and I like How To Be a Happier Parent, and I like the work that I do, and I like the experience that I have doing it. But I have frequently had the experience of feeling like I should be doing something else. When I spent years writing about parenting for the New York Times, it was the gutter of New York Times writing when I was doing it. And it may be that the experience has changed, but you know, it wasn't something really important like sports. It wasn't finance, it wasn't politics, although it frequently was finance, and it frequently was politics. I just would often feel like, you know, a smart person should be doing something else. And I'm having a little bit of that same feeling, you know, contemplating my undeniably fun romp of a book, which I enjoyed writing and is exactly the kind of thing that I like to read. But, then I just sort of think you go to the bookstore right now and everything is sort of really deep, and dark, and meaningful, and apocalyptic.Sarina:                                 13:31                    Sorry, I have some things to say. Well, first of all, my ghetto is located down the alleyway, you know, past a flap of tattered burlap, from your ghetto. Because romance writers are very accustomed to being in a ghetto that is ghetto-ier than everyone else's. And in fact, I remember this hilarious essay that Jennifer Wiener wrote for the New York Times a couple of years ago about going to the Princeton reunion as a commercial fiction author. And I remember tweeting to her, 'Well, you know, I sometimes roll up to the Yale reunion as a writer of occasionally erotic romance. And so, my ghetto mocks your ghetto. But, the funny thing is that Jennifer Wiener, I love her so much, and her favorite book of mine is a work of gay romance. So, she totally gets it. It was just a funny moment. And romance authors are very much accustomed to this idea of you're not a real author even if you're making six figures because there's a guys chest on the cover of your book. And we all have days where that doesn't seem fair or you get the weird look from the mom at the soccer game. But I always tell people who are struggling with this, that when you write some amazing line of dialogue, or that thing that happened in chapter two comes back as the perfect call out in chapter nine, it doesn't matter what you're writing that in, you feel just as good about it either way. When it works, it works.Jess:                                     15:36                    In the end, you're a storyteller. I mean the whole point of being a writer is to express yourself in stories. And frankly, you have told me on this podcast that there are awards for literary stuff that are out there that automatically mean they're books that you're not going to like. And you don't want to be trying to write that stuff because it would stink. Because you don't like writing it, you don't even like reading.KJ:                                        16:13                    I feel fine, I'm super excited about my book. In some ways, I'm more excited about it than I was about the nonfiction. It's funny how I think we all do this to ourselves. How I think we all have a should. And do you have a should at all?Jess:                                     17:10                    For me, because the stuff I really like to write about has to do with children's welfare, and ways prisons could be better and help kids. I really do love writing that stuff. The problem with that stuff is not a lot of people care, even though it's about kids. You know, as soon as you start talking about prisons or something, people are like, 'Yeah, yeah, whatever.' I get upset that I don't write that stuff more, because I feel like I should. Because that feels like if I were really doing my job and using the bullhorn that I have, because I'm lucky enough to have an audience, I need to be writing stuff that's more worthy. And so that can be really tough, cause sometimes I just want to write an essay about fishing with my dad. So yeah, I feel that, too. Should I be using these words to help kids be better or do I get to just enjoy writing?KJ:                                        18:11                    I had an idea for a new question we should ask everyone that comes on the podcast - 'What do you write when you write in your head?' You know what I mean? James Thurber used to tell, a possibly apocryphal story, about how his wife would walk up to him at parties and say, 'James, stop writing'.Jess:                                     18:33                    It's definitely creative nonfiction. I just thought about it and yeah, that's what I'm writing in my head.KJ:                                        18:40                    Are you writing essays or are you writing like opinions? Sarina, what do you write when you write in your head?Sarina:                                 18:49                    Well, I always am happy to admit that I'm a little bit trapped in romance at the moment. Because I have a platform and the bigger it gets, the harder it is for me to find tons of enthusiasm for striking out in a new direction.KJ:                                        19:06                    And you're kind of good at it.Sarina:                                 19:08                    Well, thank you.Jess:                                     19:09                    She's also incredibly good at YA, too. My favorite book of your happens to be a YA novel.Sarina:                                 19:18                    I actually love YA and I would like to write more of it. The Accidentals was a really good time for me to write. But the thing about YA though is that I don't love where the market for it is right now. So very objectively, I am not sorry that I'm not trying to sell something into that space right now. I might next year, perhaps. But not because I think the market will be any better next year. I don't love the direction of the young adult market and what's happening with it. So even though I feel suited to write it, even potentially better suited than I am to romance, that would be a really tough decision to make.Jess:                                     20:06                    KJ, what do you write in your head?KJ:                                        20:11                    I'm not necessarily sure that the question reflects like what we've written, I think it also reflects what we are accustomed to write. I write essays in my head. Sometimes they're angry, ranty essays. Sometimes they turn into actual essays, and sometimes they turn into actual angry, ranty essays. I recently penned an epic called 'Why Salad Is Just Too Hard'.Jess:                                     20:47                    I'm not going to talk about the details, but on the personal side, besides writing this book, there's a lot that's going on right now in my life. There's a lot I want to remember about what's going on in my life right now. There has been some funny and tragic and weird things that have happened. And it's been really frustrating for me not to have the extra time to sit down and write a lot of that down, so I've had to just jot down notes. But that's the stuff I've been writing in my head because I need to process that stuff. And the way I process is by writing creative nonfiction essays about it in my head. So, it's really weird. It's sort of like I'm constantly sorting through the weirdness of my life in terms of creative nonfiction essays. It's very bizarre.Sarina:                                 21:49                    So you're saying you have an inner David Sedaris?Jess:                                     21:52                    Yeah, I guess I have thought about it that way and also feeling bad that I don't have time to do what the crazy manic thing he does everyday. Obsessively writing notes and then transcribing those notes, because ideally that's what I would be doing right now if I had time, because so much is happening in my personal life right now that I'm afraid I'm gonna forget. If this was a perfect world, I would have two hours a day to process my notes into writing that I would then do something with eventually down the line. But I don't have time.KJ:                                        22:25                    I feel like you can only mentally do that if your day job is bartending or something. It's like if you're writing all day then to sit down and also write...Jess:                                     22:40                    I'm out of words, this happened during Gift of Failure, too. Although, during Gift of Failure somehow I was writing a column every two weeks, too. I don't know how that worked, I honestly have no memory of it, I've blocked it out. Since we're talking about people who have had a crisis of confidence, I have a cool story. It's about a book I read recently. So, there was this article in The Guardian that just just killed me it was so good. It was written by Alison Flood. It was in The Guardian recently and is about an author named Adrian McKinty. And Adrian McKinty has been in the media recently because he has a book called The Chain that was really a fun listen and I really liked it. And I was curious about what this guy's all about because it turns out he's written a bunch of mysteries in the past. He's been an author for a long time, he's written a lot of stuff, stuff that got critical acclaim, but just no one else read it apparently. So there's this article in The Guardian and it's called 'From Uber Driving to Huge Book Deal: Adrian McKinty's Life-Changing Phone Call'. Get this, so Adrian McKinty has decided to give up, he's decided I can't support my family as an author, he's Uber driving, he's working a couple of jobs just to make ends meet. Even though his books have gotten great reviews and critical acclaim, he's giving up. So he had mentioned this to Don Winslow, huge author Don Winslow, at a conference. This freaks Don Winslow out because Don Winslow has been through something like this, a similar situation, and he doesn't want Adrian McKinty to give up. So Don Winslow tells his agent Shane Salerno that Adrian McKinty is giving up writing. And Shane Salerno calls Adrian McKinty and says, 'Don tells me you've given up writing and I just don't think you should do that. Have you thought about writing a book set in the U.S.?' So Adrian McKinty has had an idea for a book and he writes 30 pages of it, like bangs out 30 pages of this book that he'd been thinking about. And at around three in the morning, he hands it in and at 4:15, the phone rings. And here's what Shane Salerno,agent to Don Winslow says, 'Forget bartending. Forget driving a bloody Uber.' Salerno said, 'You're writing this book.'. And he's like, 'No, I can't. I can't support my family.' He gets an offer of some short-term financial support from Shane Salerno. He's like, 'You need some money, just to get by so you can write this thing? I'll help.' Anyway, he writes the book, he gets a huge book deal for it, and then an even huger film deal. He got a six figure deal for The Chain and a seven figure deal for The Chain as a film. So yeah, he didn't quit. It's a crazy story. It's just nuts. Well, what was cool about it is that he had this idea for these two - it's sort of like when Stephen King talks about how he got the idea for Carrie - it was these two ideas that didn't work on their own, but when they came together, bang, there's a plot. So he had this thing kind of marinating in there, but he pushed back pretty hard. He's like, 'Nope, I'm done. No, really.' And there's also a nice moment when he gets the film deal, McKinty says to Salerno, 'I said, mate, you should have told me to sit down first. Can you say it all again really slowly as if you're talking to an idiot?' So anyway, it was a cool story. You might not love it, it's a people in peril sort of story, but a very cool idea. This is not a spoiler because it's right there on the book, but essentially your kid gets kidnapped and the only way your kid gets returned is if you kidnap another kid. and so on, and so on, and so on. So anyway, it's gonna make a killer movie. It's just compulsively read. I listened and it was a great listen. So anyway, cool story.KJ:                                        27:45                    So are we on what we're reading?Jess:                                     27:48                    Well, I don't know. Would we like to talk about what happened with the New York Times book lists?KJ:                                        27:52                    Oh yeah, that's right. Speaking of ghettos and having your ghetto sort of semi-recognized, but not really.Jess:                                     28:00                    Yeah, The Times is changing their lists. Who would like to take this one? Sarina?Sarina:                                 28:27                    My response was that this isn't even news. Because what they've expanded is that they brought back something they cut more than a year ago, which was the mass market paperback list used to be a weekly list and they also cut graphic novels at exactly the same time. So, bringing it back as a monthly is a non-event, especially because what sells in mass market paperback is a lot of romance and genre fiction.Jess:                                     29:00                    So Sarina, for our listeners who may not be as familiar, I would say, 'Sarina, why aren't you super excited about that? Mass market means romance. Why aren't you excited?'Sarina:                                 29:11                    Because the romance market keeps moving further and further away from mass market fiction. So they cut it at the moment when it could have made a difference and now it's just not interesting.Jess:                                     29:23                    For anyone who may not know, what does mass market mean?KJ:                                        29:26                    They actually haven't changed it on their website, the lists still look the same.Sarina:                                 29:32                    Right. It says the new lists don't even hit print until the end of October. So mass market is those rack sized books that they have at the grocery store. The market for those fundamentally changed a few years ago when the distribution company that was handling most of them stopped doing their business. And then publishers began to move away from mass market paperback and into the trade size, which is the slightly larger paperback you mostly see on tables if you go to a bookstore. So mass market gets two kinds of releases. They get some romance releases, just straight up. It'll be like e-book and that. Or, if you have a mega best seller then you might also get a pocket sized release after your regular paperback release. So by adding this, it's a really strange decision because there aren't that many books that come out in mass market anymore and the romance ones are selling most of their copies in e-book form. So when I read this change I thought, 'Oh the New York Times is trying to make a nod toward romance without having to touch anything that's independently published.' They basically are holding up a sign that says 'Self-published do not apply.'Jess:                                     30:59                    Here's a question, though. They do have an e-book list, so that wouldn't include self-published books then, is what you're saying?Sarina:                                 31:10                    Well, the e-book, it's called combined fiction. That's the list they have. They don't have an e-book bestseller list anymore that's just for e-books. Because it would have lots and lots of self-published things on it. And they didn't like that, so they got rid of it.KJ:                                        31:29                    Yeah, I was going to say there is no e-book list.Sarina:                                 31:35                    Nope, there was, but there isn't any more.KJ:                                        31:39                    Speaking of ghettos and not recognized. And I will also just note that they pulled their parenting list at the same time and they didn't even restore that one. They're not even pretending that if you don't manage to make advice and how-to (which some people do) you're just not.Jess:                                     31:59                    That's going to affect how publishers market books, too. You know, is my next book a parenting book? Is it an advice or how-to? Well, if I'm a smart publisher and I want it to make the list, I'm gonna make sure I push it as an advice or how-to. If I go into a bookstore looking for Gift of Failure it's never in the advice or how-to, it's in the parenting section. But if I were releasing that now, I would say, 'Well, we need to really push this as an advice or how-to.KJ:                                        32:30                    I don't think, and I could be totally misinformed here, but I think advice, how-to, and miscellaneous incorporates all the other. So it does incorporate parenting and now it'll have to incorporate sports and science, too.Jess:                                     33:15                    Since I already talked about The Chain, can I also just mention really quickly since we're going to talk about what we're reading? So when I'm in this crazy place like I am right now with this book. It's been really hard for me to find moments to calm down and relax. And I have been relistening to Jane Austen, but specifically, I had been listening to Rosamund Pike read Pride and Prejudice, who had played the sister Jane in one of the film versions of it. But now I'm listening to Sense and Sensibility read by the actress Juliet Stevenson and it's really lovely. And the nice thing about it is my mind can wander, because I already know the stories by heart. It's like when your kids are really, really little and they love having the same story read over and over and over again. I think that's soothing on some very primal level for me, so that's what I've been listening to.KJ:                                        34:25                    Yeah, definitely relistening is really good for that. I've been relistening to something that I have listened to twice already, partly just for that. Some of the reasons I had to listen to it was that one of my children was compelled to memorize the Declaration of International Human Rights or something along those lines. And said child required both an audience and to do that out loud, but did not actually require you to listen. So, earbuds, that's what I have to say about that particular experience. I do have some books, but Sarina, you want to go?Sarina:                                 35:13                    Yeah, I just bought a hardcover copy of Things You Save in a Fire by Katherine Center. Because not only did KJ like this book, but she told me that I would love it.KJ:                                        35:25                    That was the one I was sitting here before the podcast going, 'I know I read something I really liked recently. What did I read?' That was what it was! Found it. Now I have to change mine.Jess:                                     35:44                    What is Things You Save in a Fire? Is it nonfiction? Is it fiction? What's happening?KJ:                                        35:48                    It is flat out romance that has been marketed as commercial women's fiction and it is that, as well. But I see nothing about the story that violates the genre rules of romance. It is not one of those things where there are two people and only one of them gets her... We've talked about this before, the line is interesting and strange. And this one is a clear, fun, rollicking trip to the H E A. That would be the happily ever after.Jess:                                     36:22                    So it's not going to give me any guidance about what I should save if my house catches on fire.KJ:                                        36:27                    No, how-to and miscellaneous it is not.Jess:                                     36:32                    Alright, sorry. KJ, what have you been reading?KJ:                                        36:36                    That's it, I read that, I really liked it, it was really good. She has an amazing Instagram feed, too. Her name is Katherine Center and she is an artist, as well as a writer. So she paints on the books, which is killer. And as a doodler, I'm thinking I'm going to doodle on my books. I'm going to doodle chickens on my books for Instagram and I cannot wait to do it.Jess:                                     37:00                    Oh, that's a really cool idea. I like it. I can't wait. I have a cool bookstore for this week. When we first moved to Vermont, of course I had to go looking for all the independent bookstores in the area. And I've talked about some of them, but I have not talked about this lovely little one. There is a little town near us called Shelburne that has the sweetest little town center, there's a gorgeous museum that has all these old buildings from all over Vermont and New England that have been restored. And across the street from that is this little little village, it's really cute. And in that village is a lovely little bookstore called The Flying Pig Bookstore. It is small, but it is lovely, and they really know their books. And I have been trying to order my books through there because I can ride my bike to it, which is nice. I have a little basket on the front of my bike and so I have this very romantic vision of riding to my local bookstore and picking up my books and putting them in the basket of my bike. These are the kinds of things I live for at the moment, so I highly recommend it.Sarina:                                 38:09                    Sounds great, I think you should take us there when we see you next.Jess:                                     40:10                    Alright. Are we good, people? Have we done our job this week?KJ:                                        40:16                    And let me just say that if you agree and think that we have done our job, we hope you'll head over to amwritingpodcast.com and sign up for our weekly email. You get a transcript of all the things about riding around with your dog in the car and possibly some more useful things as well. And if you really love the podcast and crave more useful things, you can sign up for our writer top fives at the same place. That's a subscription service, supports the podcast, which is and always will be free. Also enables you to get our writer top five lists every Monday. Coming up, we've got top five reasons you should do NaNoWriMo, we've had top five questions you should ask your fictional character, top five reasons you should be on Instagram, we got top five ways to make your reader laugh.Jess:                                     41:15                    The burnchart one was great. And I can say that because I have nothing to do with them, because as I may have already mentioned, I have no other time to do anything but write this book. So this is all you two and I am so impressed with what you guys have done with these top five. They've been fantastic. I've enjoyed them as a reader that has nothing to do with them at the moment, but I will.KJ:                                        41:36                    All right, so head over to amwriting podcast.com. Check us out, support us, subscribe to us, and of course as always, subscribe to us and rate us should you care to on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcast.Jess:                                     41:59                    This episode of #AmWriting with Jess and KJ was produced by Andrew Parilla. Our music, aptly titled unemployed Monday was written and performed by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their services because everyone, even creatives should be paid. This is a public episode. Get access to private episodes at amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

Joshilyn Jackson doesn't just write best-selling thrillers. She narrates them, too. Should we?Episode links and a transcript follow—but first, a preview of the #WritersTopFive that will be dropping into #AmWriting supporter inboxes on Monday, September 23, 2019: Top Five Steps to Burn Chart Success (a How-to). Not joined that club yet? You’ll want to get on that. Support the podcast you love AND get weekly #WriterTopFives with actionable advice you can use for just $7 a month. As always, this episode (and every episode) will appear for all subscribers in your usual podcast listening places, totally free as the #AmWriting Podcast has always been. This shownotes email is free, too, so please—forward it to a friend, and if you haven’t already, join our email list and be on top of it with the shownotes and a transcript every time there’s a new episode. To support the podcast and help it stay free, subscribe to our weekly #WritersTopFive email.LINKS FROM THE PODCAST#AmReading (Watching, Listening)Jess: I Like to Watch: Arguing My Way Through the TV Revolution, Emily NussbaumKJ: Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, David EpsteinJoshilyn:Gretchen, Shannon KirkThe Better Liar: A Novel, Tanen Jones Lady in the Lake, Laura Lippman#FaveIndieBookstoreLittle Shop of Stories, Decatur, GAOur guest for this episode is Joshilyn Jackson. She is the author of:Never Have I Ever The Almost SistersThe Opposite of EveryoneSomeone Else’s Love StoryA Grown-Up Kind of PrettyBackseat SaintsThe Girl Who Stopped SwimmingBetween, Georgia, Gods in AlabamaMy Own MiraculousDon’t Quit Your Day JobWedding Cake for BreakfastThis episode was sponsored by Author Accelerator, the book coaching program that helps you get your work DONE. Visit https://www.authoraccelerator.com/amwritingfor details, special offers and Jennie Nash’s Inside-Outline template.Find more about Jess here, Sarina here and about KJ here.If you enjoyed this episode, we suggest you check out Marginally, a podcast about writing, work and friendship.The image in our podcast illustration is by TKTranscript (We use an AI service for transcription, and while we do clean it up a bit, some errors are the price of admission here. We hope it’s still helpful.)KJ:                                        00:01                    Hey all. As you likely know, the one and only sponsor of the #AmWriting podcast is Author Accelerator, the book coaching program that helps writers all the way through their projects to the very end. Usually Author Accelerator offers only longterm coaching and they're great at it, but they've just launched something new inside outline coaching, a four week long program for novelists and memoir writers that can help you find just the right amount of structure so that you can plot or pants your way to an actual draft. I love the inside outline and I think you will too. I come back to mine again and again, whether I'm writing or revising. Working through it with someone else helps keep you honest and helps you deliver a story structure that works. Find out more at www.authoraccelerator.com/insideoutline.Jess:                                     00:57                    Go ahead.KJ:                                        00:57                    This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone like I don't remember what I was supposed to be doing.Jess:                                     00:57                    All right, let's start over.KJ:                                        00:57                    Awkward pause, I'm going to rustle some papers.Jess:                                     00:57                    Okay.KJ:                                        00:57                    Now one, two, three.KJ:                                        00:57                    Hey, I'm KJ Dell'Antonia,Jess:                                     00:57                    and I'm Jess Lahey.KJ:                                        00:57                    And this is #AmWriting,Jess:                                     00:57                    with Jess and KJ.KJ:                                        00:57                    #AmWriting is our podcast about all things writing. Long things, short things, book proposals, entire books, short articles, blog posts, YA, pitches, whatever we can think of. And as I think most of you know, #AmWriting is really the podcast about sitting down and getting the work done.Jess:                                     01:43                    I'm Jess Lahey, I'm the author of the Gift of Failure and an upcoming book about preventing substance abuse in kids. And I write for the Washington Post and the New York Times and various other outlets.KJ:                                        01:53                    And I am KJ Dell'Antonia, author of a novel forthcoming next year and also a parent-y type book How to Be a Happier Parent, former lead editor and writer for the New York Times Motherlode blog But I saw someone in one of our reviews accusing us of having a nonfiction focus on parenting writing. To which I was like, 'What?' I mean that has certainly been our professional writing, I guess our guests probably see it that way. But not today.Jess:                                     02:27                    Not today. I'm so excited. Can I introduce? Cause I'm super excited. Today our guest is Joshilyn Jackson. She is a New York Times and USA Today best selling author of nine novels, including one that I am (spoiler) not finished with, so be careful - called Never Have I Ever, it is so good. But one of the big reasons we wanted to have Joshilyn on today is that she does something that almost no one really does, which is narrate. She narrates her own fiction audio. And we know a lot of people, including ourselves who narrated our own nonfiction, but fiction is a whole other game. Not only does she narrate her own fiction, she's really, really good at it. She's won a bunch of awards. She was nominated for an Audi award, she was on Audio File Magazine's best of the year list, she was an Audible All Star for the highest listener ranks and reviews. I mean that's huge. And then I also have to add, because near and dear to my heart, she also works with an organization called Reforming Arts. And she has taught writing and literature inside Georgia's maximum security facility for women. So we have that in common as well. Welcome so much to the show, Joshilyn. We're so excited to talk to you.Joshilyn:                              03:56                    Oh, thank you for having me. I'm really happy to be here.Jess:                                     03:59                    We love talking to authors, but one of the topics that has come up a lot for us is narrating audio books. Not only because Sarina Bowen (one of our frequent guests and sort of almost another host) has a podcast about audio books. Specifically, I'm a huge audio book fan and we've been talking a lot lately about people who choose to narrate their own fiction cause it's really hard. So we would love to talk to you about that today, but we'd love to start with sort of just how you got started with writing. What's your story?Joshilyn:                              04:40                    Oh, I've always wanted to be a writer. When I was three, I published my first novel using the Crayola stapler method. My mom helped, and to be fair, it wasn't a very good book. Yeah, I'm dating myself, but when Walden Books came out with Blank Books, I was in middle school and I would buy a Blank Book and write a novel into it and the novel would be just however many pages the Blank Book was. And I was a huge Stephen King fan. I would write these books, I remember one was called Don't Go Into the Woods and all these girls who looked a lot like girls who were kind of mean to me in middle school, one by one went into the woods and never came back. It's terrible, but really derivative Stephen King novel.Jess:                                     06:54                    Alright, so let's skip ahead to your adult life. How does writing become a part of your adult life?Joshilyn:                              07:02                    I mean it's my job, is that what you mean?Jess:                                     07:08                    Yeah, exactly. In terms of your professional work. I know one little thing about you that I would love to interject here, a bit of trivia. You got plucked out of a slush pile. How did that go down?Joshilyn:                              07:22                    Yeah, I didn't know any better. So what I did was I loaded up 160-something query letters into a shotgun, pointed it at New York, which is of course insane, don't do that. If you're getting ready to query a book query 10 - 15 agents, if you don't get a 20% return of agents saying let me see a partial or your manuscript, your query is not good enough and it doesn't matter how good the book is. So to shoot off that many at once is just to burn all your lottery tickets when you don't know if your query is good enough and is representing your book to a point where somebody is going to take you seriously. Out of the 160-something queries I got one request to look at the work and that was my agent.Jess:                                     08:12                    Wow. And that was the one that got pulled out of the slush pile?Joshilyn:                              08:31                    There's thousands of those they get everyday. And it wasn't the best query, but he was interested in the idea. So he asked me to send the manuscript, and I did, and we ended up working together.Jess:                                     08:42                    And how did that first that first book deal go for you? How did that all come about?Joshilyn:                              08:47                    Oh, it was a long time coming. So, he was my agent and he was interested in me. We had a couple of phone conversations, I sent him some short stories I'd had published. And he shopped two nonfiction book proposals, a children's book series, and two novels for me. At that point I was pretty ground down about it. That's a lot of rejection, and a lot of years, and a lot of work. So I just quietly said to myself, 'You know, I'm not gonna break up with my agent. I'm not going to have this big dramatic thing. I'm just going to stop sending him stuff, I'm gonna stop calling him, I'm gonna stop bothering him because I've done nothing but cost this guy money. So, you know, I'll just let it go and New York can suck it. I'm going to write cause I can't imagine not writing, but I'm done trying to be published. I was butt hurt, I picked up my toys and went home. And that Christmas he sent me a present, and a letter, and it was like his family Christmas letter. And at the bottom, he had written a little note just to me and he said, 'When am I gonna see something from you again? You really are one of my favorite writers.'. You don't say that to somebody who's never been published. You say you're so talented. You say you have so much potential. You say, I think we can sell this. You don't call an unpublished person, one of your favorite writers. So I sent him the manuscript I'd been working on and he sent it out, he said this is going to auction. And he sent it out to I think eight places like saying, this is an auction, you have two weeks. And we had a preempt in two days and he made me turn the preempts down. I was not going to turn that preempt down, I was so excited. It was an offer of actual like folding for a book I'd written. And he was like, no, we're turning this down. And I was like, okay, technically I'm the boss of you and we're not turning it down. He said, 'It's cute that you think that, but I'm the one who understands this industry and we're turning it down. We turned it down and he sent word out to the other houses that we had turned down a preempt. And everybody had 48 hours to get their best offer in and five of them showed up to bid.Jess:                                     11:27                    That's fantastic. I emailed with shaking fingers in return when I heard that we had a preempt that was for an amount of money that I was like, 'Whoa.' I remember typing back. 'Oh, okay. I trust you.' But in my head I was like, I totally don't trust you, we should accept this. I saw that you were part of a book called Don't Quit Your Day Job: Acclaimed Authors in the Day Jobs They Quit. So what was the day job you quit?Joshilyn:                              12:07                    It's a job that I called tote monkey. I'm dating myself again, but there was a car parts place that had these dot matrix printers and when the stuff was all down on the floor from the printer, I would take a huge stack and peel those rinds off and then separate it like white, blue, pink, goldenrod, white, blue, pink, goldenrod. And then I'd file each of those colors where they had to be filed. And by then the dot matrix printers would have other huge stacks lined up and I'd just take them and peel them is all I did.Jess:                                     12:43                    Were you so sad to have to quit that job to become a professional writer?Joshilyn:                              12:48                    I had dropped out of college to be an actor and eventually was starving and had to take this day job. I called my father and I said, 'I want to go back to college.' And he said, 'You can go back to college until you get a B, I'll pay for it until you get a B.' So I went back to college and I never got a B, that job taught me that I didn't want to be doing that job.Jess:                                     13:18                    So the acting stuff leads us to the big questions that I'm dying to ask you about how you got started narrating your own audio work. And did that start from the beginning? Was that something that you specifically trained to do? Please tell us all about it. Because, and I have to sort of spoiler here is that some of the conversations we've had is about like, Ooh, that's kind of interesting. I wonder what it would take to be able to narrate our own fictions. So what does it take, Joshilyn?Joshilyn:                              13:48                    I don't think it's necessarily a good thing most of the time when authors read their own books, to be honest. Because it is a really specific skill set. And I did go to school in theater and I did live off the grid for awhile as an actor and a playwright. And most of the time when I made money, it was doing voice acting and I got some pretty good gigs. I've done voice acting for local commercials and radio spots. But I've also done stuff for a documentary that PBS was doing, stuff like that. So I had a theatrical background and when my first novel came out, while the narrator of that novel is a wildly, promiscuous murderess and people always think that your first novel is autobiographical, which of course my first novel was, but as you know from earlier, it did not sell. This was my third novel, so it wasn't autobiographical. I am not a wildly, promiscuous murderess, for the record. And I wasn't sure how much I wanted to be associated with her anymore than I was. You know, with a debut, that's the first question you get - so how much of this is your life? And so, I didn't really want to do it. My second novel, I figured I had that distance. Plus I also thought Arlene should sound really young and I don't think I've ever sounded particularly young. She has to sound young for you to forgive her. But my second book, I really thought I could do it. So I went to my editor and I said, 'You know, I used to be an actor and I've done a lot of voice acting, do you think I could read the audio book?' And she said, 'Oh, no, don't do that.' And I said, 'Okay, but I really have done it before.' And she was like, 'You know, I was with Warner Books and they were the most theatrical of the audio books. Some audio book companies want a real straight read with just very light differentiations between the voices and some of them want it to be really theatrical.' This was a very theatrical one that wanted big differences in the voices and they put musical tracks in and stuff. So I said, 'Well, can I audition?' And my editor said, 'Yes, you can audition, but you're not going to get hired. But, sure.' So, I had a friend named Darren Wong, he's actually an author, too. He wrote The Hidden Light of Northern Fires, which is a great book. And he used to run an audio book magazine called Verb, it was an all audio magazine. So he had a home studio and an edit board and professional grade equipment and he helped me edit it and set levels. So it was a really good recording and I did a fight scene with five different men having a fight. And I did a comedic scene so they would know my timing and I did straight narration with energy so they knew I could get them through the landscape descriptions or whatever. And then after I turned that in, like two weeks later, my editor called and she was like, 'Oh yes, you can read your audio book.' So I started reading my own and the first one did well. And so after that, the next time we got a book contract, they had a little clause in there that said, I had to read the audio book, it was already in the contract and I thought that was really flattering. And now I read for other people who aren't me, too.Jess:                                     17:32                    I had heard that actually because as I said, our frequent guest, Sarina Bowen, has a podcast called Story Bites with Tanya Eby. Tanya has her own studio and they tend to really pick apart narration. Especially since Sarina picks the narrators for her books and she's very picky about that and they raved about your narration. So they were one of the reasons we found out about you.KJ:                                        18:03                    You were episode three of their Story Bites Podcast. You'll want the rest, but if you want to taste it for free that's one way to do it.Jess:                                     18:22                    Well, and Sarina also raved about The Almost Sisters. That was a book that she really enjoyed and we trust her judgement. What I meant was you guys have read The Almost Sisters, I have not yet. I'm going to now though because the first of Joshilyn's books that I have read is Never Have I Ever, and I am so deep in and what I wanted to say is I'm listening to the audio and I also have the hard cover of the book, as well. And one of the things I wanted to say about your narration there is you have two very different women in particular that are sort of at the heart of this book. And I have to say that what I was struck by from the very beginning is your depiction of Rue, one of the two sort of main-ish characters. And you do such a brilliant job with her because I'm not even sure what it is you're doing because I don't have the technical words to describe it, but there's something in her voice that renders her a completely different human being than your protagonist who has such... I've heard for various audio book narrators that they'll often have recordings of their characters or are you able to do that just sort of as you go through?Joshilyn:                              19:56                    I don't use recordings, I do use my husband. I met him doing black box theater. We were working at a regional repertory theater together. The first time I ever saw him, he was learning to stage sword fight - that is hot. So we've known each other since we were teenagers. I was 18, I think he was 19. And he is a theater guy, his masters degrees is in stage management. So when I'm getting ready to do an audio book, I go through and set voices with him and he says, 'No, that's not right.' Or, 'Oh, that sounds just like her, but can you take it just a little deeper? Drop your register just a little bit.' So he works with me on the characters and it's good to have that because my voice sounds different in my head. So he's sort of my feedback loop. And then I'm an outside enactor like I was never method, where you go inside, and try to find some memory, and attach it. I've always been like, if you put your body and face into the shape, you'll feel the thing that your body is in the shape of. So the way I set characters is with a stance and a facial expression. So if I get into a certain position and hold my face a certain way, that voice just comes out because that's what I have the character attached to. So I'm sure it looks bizarre to my sound editor and director when I'm in there doing a scene with a bunch of different people talking as I fold myself into different shapes and make these weird facial expressions, but it works.Jess:                                     21:30                    That's really interesting. What that reminds me of - I was lucky enough to see Bradley Cooper play The Elephant Man. And at the very, very beginning, he walks out to the middle of the stage to center stage as just a guy, as Bradley Cooper. But he becomes the character by changing his body shape, that's how he does it. And he does it right in front of you so that you can see it happen. And it's a really cool thing. I think you should totally set up some videos so we can see what it looks like. .Joshilyn:                              22:00                    I would rather not see it myself. I don't want to feel self conscious about it because it works and maybe I don't want to see that.Jess:                                     22:10                    Well, so the next question I have then is now that you do all this narration, do you hear your characters as you write them?Joshilyn:                              22:19                    I guess, but I always have. And I mean, the kind of stuff I'm talking about with setting voices, that takes a lot longer for a book I didn't write. For a book I did write, I know what these people sound like in my head and I just try to approximate that with the voice and the range that I have. Which you know, is getting harder as I get older. In another 10 years I probably won't have the vocal elasticity to do my side gig anymore. So I'm trying to do a few more because I love it. I'm doing a few more a year than I used to, just to be able to do it while I can. Because you really do need some good elasticity and I'm not willing to give up drinking or fried food entirely and coddle my vocal chords to try and get another five years out of them.Jess:                                     23:11                    Can you tell ahead of time when a line is not going to work? KJ and I talked about this because we were lucky enough to be able to record our nonfiction books. And other friends and advisors have done the same - where you hit a line (and I used to be a speech writer as well) and I remember specifically I wrote a speech for a governor and we got to rehearsal with the prompter and there was just a line and he was like, 'This is never gonna come out right.' It's just not coming out of my mouth right. Do you ever hear that when you're writing or do you just not worry about that?Joshilyn:                              23:44                    I definitely it when I'm writing because I read aloud to myself as a writer. Like especially dialogue, I'll read it out loud while I'm writing. I mutter and talk while I'm writing. And if a paragraph doesn't sound right or I'm having trouble with it, I'll read it aloud and sometimes I edit aloud. I'll just change it mid-sentence to make it sound better and then just write down what I heard myself say.Jess:                                     24:12                    I will say, over my 20 years as an English teacher, I have told my students over and over and over again, if you want really good editing, if you would like to really get your paper clean, you've got to read it out loud.Joshilyn:                              24:24                    So smart. And just speaking as an audio book reader, as a person who reads them aloud, and I listen to them obsessively. You can tell the people who don't read their work aloud from the people who do. Not that it's that huge of a difference where now the book's not good or anything like that. But like people who read them aloud have so much less unintentional, internal rhyme. When you're just looking at words, you can write a sentence like Mike took the bike down the street with his friend Rike and they ate a pipe. You don't hear it cause it's visual and you don't see it. But then when you were listening to an audio book, I'll hear a string of rhymes and I'll be like, 'That person did not read their book out loud.'Jess:                                     25:07                    Well, and actually when we interviewed Steven Strogatz about his book that just came out recently about calculus that's just beautiful. He said that he dictates when he writes and he found his last line of his book because of the rhythm, cause he was walking at the time. And so that rhythm then made it into his writing because it was spoken in the first place and not because it was just his fingers dancing across the keyboard. So I find it fascinating. And Sarina Bowen also uses dictation software as well and our guest Karen Kolpe that we interviewed just recently also uses dictation software. So, I'm always curious about the difference between dictation and just writing with your hands and being able to hear those things and how that changes your work. So that is fascinating to me. It had never occurred to me that maybe I would be writing in rhymes unintentionally.Joshilyn:                              26:02                    Yeah, I've never tried to use dictation software, but maybe I should because I listen so much. It's weird; I tried to be a playwright for a while and I'm not a very good playwright to be honest, because I'm not willing to leave that room. Like a play should be a framework where a director can come in and do things and then there's room for actors to come in and do things so that it's a different play every time. And I'm just obsessively (and I'm not saying I have control issues, but I have control issues) and writing a play, I've just always felt I was trying to lock stuff down and make it be the way it is in my head. And it felt like the whole front of my head would heat up. Whereas when I'm acting or when I'm writing a novel and I am in control of what I do, even though of course you're being reactive, I feel like it's coming from the occipital lobe. It feels like it comes from a different place in my brain.Jess:                                     27:08                    That's so interesting. There was an interview a long time ago that I heard with Michael Ondaatje and he said he does not hear his work at all, he only sees it. And it's very difficult for me, I don't hear my work either. I do nonfiction though, so maybe it's different. But for me it's very visual and not sound related. So it's always fascinating to get into the head of someone who writes differently. Like I just don't hear it.Joshilyn:                              27:34                    Yeah, that's interesting. If I'm engaging it just in the terms of the visual, it's not going to get where I need it to be.Jess:                                     27:45                    One of the things you did for for this most recent book (a central thing in this book is scuba diving) and this was something you had never done before, right?Joshilyn:                              27:56                    No, never.Jess:                                     27:59                    So how did you even, not having had the experience, I just assumed when I listened to the book that Oh, that's something she does and isn't that cool? She knows what the words are, but how did you even know that was going to be a thing if you had never done it before?Joshilyn:                              28:15                    Amy was always a scuba diver, I wanted the metaphor. The ocean was so perfect for what I was doing in terms of like, (if you've ever dropped your sunglasses off a boat, you know the ocean can hide anything) you're never getting those back. In terms of being like this massive place where you can put things that you are just gone forever and also being kind of an entity with its own breath, so that your secrets are sort of housed in this living system. There were lots of metaphors that I wanted that scuba diving gave me and so I watched YouTube videos and did some interviews and I was like, I'm not getting this. I went to my husband and I said, 'Hey baby, it's about time for my midlife crisis and I need to learn to scuba dive for this book. I think my midlife crisis is going to be scuba diving. Would you like to have it with me?' He'd already had his midlife crisis - he learned to play the bass and joined a band. But he was like, 'Yeah, I'll do yours with you. That sounds really fun. If the other choice is an oiled cabana boy, I say scuba diving.' So we started diving and it really changed the book. I knew that Amy (Amy's my narrator, the protagonist, the scuba diving instructor), she's the one who has sort of the dark past and she's entirely reinvented herself. And you know, I wanted that baptismal imagery - go into the water, come up a different person. She's very self-destructive after she does this kind of terrible thing, she almost doesn't survive it. she has so much guilt. And then she sort of navigates her own understanding of grace and she reinvents herself and finds a life she can sustain. But I needed something to be the pivot that she uses to save herself. And I tried a bunch of different things and scuba diving was also in there. And then after I was diving, I was like, I don't need anything else. This is what saves her. Because it's so, it's like yoga plus plus - it is meditation, it is prayer, you cannot project into the future, you cannot worry about the past, it grounds you entirely in the present. You actually use your own breath. Like once you have a good technical ability to dive, once you've practiced enough and you're not fussing with your equipment all the time and you really understand how to get neutrally buoyant in the water, you actually change levels in the water and aim yourself just using your own breath. So it's your breath inside the ocean's breath. It is, it's also like super fun.Jess:                                     31:02                    I loved the idea of someone finding freedom in an activity that many people would find completely claustrophobic and closed in. So there was something really interesting about scuba diving as a metaphor. (as I also scuba dive) Something that a lot of people wouldn't be able to bear because it would feel too close. For her, it's exactly that that gives her the freedom. I really loved that metaphor. Well, one of the things I wanted to say about this book - so KJ and I talk all the time about people's ability to a) stick the landing on books, and b) surprise us. Well, the surprise thing I can attest to because I was listening to it as I was before I went to sleep last night and I had headphones on and my husband was reading something else and I got really upset and I said, 'Oh, well, duh. I figured that out a while ago.' And then you totally tricked me, you completely messed with my head. I thought I was ahead of you and you were so ahead of me. And I love that. I mean, the ability to be surprised is huge, it's especially huge for me because there's so many books (KJ can attest to this) that I have thrown. I've joked about throwing books across the room because I get so angry at formulas that make me feel dumb as a reader. And you made me feel like - you had me.Joshilyn:                              34:45                    Oh good. I'm glad I enjoy a plot twist.KJ:                                        34:49                    How much of that do you set up ahead of time and how has that evolved over the course of nine books?Joshilyn:                              34:59                    So this was my first book that is really leaning hard into domestic noir.KJ:                                        35:05                    I would agree that this is twistier, and I can actually only go back to The Almost Sisters, but that one's pretty twisty, too.Joshilyn:                              35:15                    Yeah. I always use the engine of a murder mystery or a thriller (sometimes to greater degrees than others) plot twists because I enjoy it. But, really the only thing that's changed in terms of genre is the stakes and the pacing. The stakes are super high, I don't know how to explain it, it really is just about stakes raising. It's still my voice, my kinds of fierce, female characters who act instead of reacting, my thematic things I'm always interested in, you know, I'm always writing about redemption and motherhood. So, I would agree with you. But for me, the plot is the thing that comes last. The plot is the cookie. I understand what I want to address thematically very, very well. I understand these characters down to their bones. Sometimes I think about characters for years before I write them. I've been thinking about Rue and for a vehicle to write Rue for more than seven years and she was a hard person to place because she's difficult. You wouldn't want a place in your life. She's a nightmare, but she's a very interesting nightmare. So, I know the characters, I know the stakes, I know the themes, and the plot is the cookie. I try to play fair, too. Like something will happen and it'll really surprise me and then I go back and edit and put in clues and foreshadowing and I'm good at it. I have a facility for this. I think as writers, we all have things that we're good at and things that we really struggle with. I'm good at crafting those kind of plot twists. That's the thing that comes easily to me, because it's fun and I'm surprising myself, too. And I try to play fair so that at least some readers will catch onto what I'm doing. Or if you go back and read it a second time, you're like, 'Oh, right there. She practically tells me right there.' But you slide it into these little moments where you're describing a car and nobody's paying attention or you know, there's all kinds of tricks you can do to misdirect. It's like a magician's sleight of hand with coins. They do everything, they just got you looking at the wrong place when they do the thing.KJ:                                        37:35                    I'm at the stage of a revision where I have a list of about six things that I just need to go back and make sure are properly set up. And it doesn't take that much, you know? I did read something recently where a character very suddenly took a turn that I really was like, 'What, what?' There was like one warning of this and none of the warning came from the character. So it yanked me, and you have to find that line where you've given people enough preparation that they aren't pulled out of the story by wait a minute, is this consistent with what happened before?Joshilyn:                              38:22                    Flannery O'Connor says you have to get to an end that feels inevitable, yet surprising. And I love her.Jess:                                     38:36                    It's so funny you guys are saying that about fiction because that's what I'm working on right now. Even in nonfiction where I have two chapters and they're sort of two chapters that really go together and one was submitted with my proposal, so I wrote that a long time ago. And then the other one I just finished. So I have them now side by side because I need to plant seeds for one in the other, in order for the reader to be led a bit down a path and for things to at least feel like I've prepared them a little bit for what's coming next. And I love that part of the process. I love it. You know, with nonfiction it's not really about hints, but it is, it is anyway, it's narrative hinting, even though it's nonfiction. I love that.Joshilyn:                              39:23                    Yeah. I think that's really actually cool that that translates into nonfiction. That's really interesting.KJ:                                        39:33                    If there aren't a bunch of through lines, then you just get a bunch of different stories.Jess:                                     39:47                    Well, and it's funny that you were talking about hearing and I said I don't hear my work, but that's actually not true because I always try to end on a major chord. You know, there's that sort of resolution to a major chord at the end where your reader can go, 'Ah, okay. Yeah, it feels good.' And so I do hear that little bit. I try to come back to a major chord at the end of a chapter so that I leave my reader feeling at least not like they're, you know, hanging there on a dissonant note and that I've just dumped them off the edge. So there is a little bit of sound there.KJ:                                        40:20                    Let's hope we've left our listeners on a major chord at this point. It's think it's time to shift gears and talk about what we've been reading.Jess:                                     40:32                    Please share with us - you first.Joshilyn:                              40:35                    I always have a book and an audio book going. And can I do a little commercial for Libro FM? So the way I get my audio books is through a service called Libro FM, which it's just like any other subscription service. You know, you get a credit every month, and your credits never expire, and it costs exactly the same, but it benefits your local independent book seller. You choose the store you want to shop through. So of course I'm all over that. So I was listening to Gretchen by Shannon Kirk and this is some next level WTF. Like I loved this book. It is so smart. Like I don't even know if it's a thriller, it verges on horror. But, then I loved the character so much and the character of Gretchen - I dream about, it's really good. It's about a young woman who's on the run with her mother and they have hidden identities and they move into this little shack. And then they have to leave and they're on the run again. And the girl next door is named Gretchen and she finds herself involved in this (puzzles are a big metaphor) game with Gretchen that has these very far reaching consequences.Jess:                                     42:02                    I'm on their website right now getting this book, I'm so excited.Joshilyn:                              42:08                    And then the book I just finished reading with my eyes is called The Better Liar by Tanen Jones. It doesn't come out till January. Here's what I liked about it - it's a thriller, it's suspense, which I really like, but it's fun. Like the plot is fun and twisty and sinister, but she's doing something so smart and so emotionally resonant just under the surface. I went to it for like a fun, twisty read and it is - I got that. But at the end I was not just like, 'Whoa, what the twists.' I was like, 'Whoa, Holy crap.' There was an emotional surprise. It's about a woman who has to appear with her, estranged sister to claim her inheritance and she has reasons for needing the money. And when she goes to find her sister (who's a troubled person) she finds her body, but she meets somebody else who looks like her sister, but who has secrets of her own, and they go to try and claim this inheritance. It is great.Jess:                                     43:26                    Oh, that is a great premise. I'm going to have to buy that one, too.Joshilyn:                              43:32                    I just finished both of those and I just started Lady in the Lake by Laura Lippman and it's great so far, which is completely unsurprising because I've never read a Laura Lippman book and gone, 'Oh well that was disappointing.' She's so good and I'm loving it so far.Jess:                                     43:49                    Okay. KJ, you're up. What have you been reading?KJ:                                        43:52                    I have not been reading anything, to be honest. I'm in the middle of something that I like, but I'll wait until we finish it. I'm in the middle of Range by David Epstein, which we've talked about before. I'm rereading, I'm doing a lot of rereading right now. I have a list of like fresh books I read this year and I was thinking I should make a list of books I actually reread, too.Jess:                                     44:17                    I have been joking around on our text trio that I have been (because my brain is so occupied right now with getting to my deadline and this book) that I've been doing a lot of re-listening. And my re-listening choices have been Sarina Bowen books. And so every once in awhile I'll text Sarina with some observation about some characters she wrote like eight years ago. And it's just really comforting.KJ:                                        44:46                    It occurs to me that I did forget to mention that I might have just read a book called Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson.Jess:                                     44:57                    I was just about to say that exact thing.KJ:                                        44:59                    So, I did just read an entire novel. Which normally would've been what I put on #AmReading. And it is great, and it is twisty, and it is turny, and it is satisfying, it's really satisfying.Jess:                                     45:16                    I really, really love it. And while I have you, I do have to ask you one quick question, Joshilyn, did the title come first or did the premise come first?Joshilyn:                              45:25                    The premise came first. In fact, I had almost finished the book with a completely different title that I don't remember, it wasn't a great title. And my friend Sarah Gruin was like, 'Why aren't you calling this Never Have I Ever? I was like, 'Oh, I don't know. You're so right. That's obviously the title. Nevermind.'Jess:                                     45:48                    I love that because ever since I started the book that was kind of one of my first questions. I wrote it on the inside flap - which came first, the cover or the title or the premise - because it's great. Both of them are great. I also have been listening to Emily Nussbaum, who's the television critic at the New Yorker. She has a book called I Like To Watch and it's all about being a television critic, which is something I don't think I would do, but I'm fascinated by the job. I'm fascinated that the job exists and I'm a huge fan of Emily Nussbaum to begin with. So I'm loving this and this is a book that you can read in chunks because it's sorta like essay, more essay format. And it's really lovely, which is not surprising because Emily Nussbaum is a lovely writer, so I recommend that so far, I'm not done with it either. Alright. An independent bookseller?Joshilyn:                              46:42                    I live in Decatur, Georgia and we have so many Indies. They're my favorite things to visit when I travel. I live like four blocks from EagleEye, so that's my walk up and get a book independent. And then down on the square there's a store called Little Shop of Stories, which is a kid's shop. It's like an independent that just sells children books and a lot of YA, but they have

“Every intro on this whole album, because I had it in my car, is just, like, burned in my memory tissue so when I hear it, I'm like 'Ah, yes, this one!'” In this episode of Life Was Peachy, host Andrew Cahak is joined by Taylor Carik (Whiskey Rock 'N' Roll Club) to discuss 1997's Sevendust by Sevendust. Find more info at lifewaspeachy.com, and on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at @lifewaspeachy.

“Every intro on this whole album, because I had it in my car, is just, like, burned in my memory tissue so when I hear it, I’m like 'Ah, yes, this one!'”In this episode of Life Was Peachy, host Andrew Cahak is joined by Taylor Carik (Whiskey Rock ’N’ Roll Club) to discuss 1997’s Sevendust by Sevendust.Find more info at lifewaspeachy.com, and on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at @lifewaspeachy.

On today’s episode, we start to tackle character creation for a game that has been on our list from the beginning of this podcast: Descent into Midnight! Series 18 begins here with Richard Kreutz-Landry and Taylor LaBresh, co-designers for this very game! Announcements: GenCon Twitter Thread https://twitter.com/CreationCast/status/1131181309504741377 Character Creation Cast Panel https://www.gencon.com/events/152269 Quiztem Mastery https://www.gencon.com/events/152272 Brewing Strife (Amelia’s L5R Game) https://www.gencon.com/events/152276 World Building through Character Creation https://www.gencon.com/events/152275 Chimera Games Still TBD Leave us reviews in any, or all, of these places: Character Creation Cast on Apple Podcasts (The best place to leave reviews for us): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/character-creation-cast/id1363822066?mt=2&ls=1 Character Creation Cast on Podchaser: https://podchaser.com/CharacterCreationCast Character Creation Cast on Stitcher https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/character-creation-cast?refid=stpr Character Creation Cast on Facebook https://facebook.com/CharacterCreationCast Guests and Projects: Richard Kreutz-Landry @rkreutzlandry Twitter: https://twitter.com/rkreutzlandry Website: http://origamigaming.com/ Taylor LaBresh @LeviathanFiles Twitter: https://twitter.com/LeviathanFiles Website: https://riverhousegames.com/ Itch.io: https://riverhousegames.itch.io/ Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Announcements 00:04:01 - Introductions 00:06:25 - What’s in a game? 00:10:14 - PbtA Mechanics Refresher 00:14:05 - What do you need to play this game? 00:16:56 - What does it feel like to have those 'Ah-ha!' moments? 00:22:11 - What's the difference between collaborating and solo designing? 00:44:20 - Basic terms and concepts 00:47:22 - Let’s make some people! 00:56:34 - Looks 01:04:43 - Episode Closer 01:06:38 - Show Blurbs Music: Opening: Meditation Impromptu 03 (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kevin_MacLeod/Calming/Meditation_Impromptu_03) by Kevin MacLeod (http://incompetech.com) Clip 1: Ocean Ending (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Soft_and_Furious/Best_Of__Pick_Your_Player/Soft_and_Furious_-Best_Of-Pick_Your_Player-_01_Ocean_Ending) by Soft and Furious (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Soft_and_Furious/) Main Theme: Hero (Remix) (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Principal_Photography_1493/11_Hero_Remix) by Steve Combs (http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/) Games discussed this episode: Descent Into Midnight Twitter: https://twitter.com/DiMRPG Website: https://descentintomidnight.com Our Podcast: Character Creation Cast: Twitter: @CreationCast (https://twitter.com/CreationCast) Facebook: https://facebook.com/charactercreationcast/ Discord: http://discord.charactercreationcast.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creationcast/ Podchaser: https://www.podchaser.com/CharacterCreationCast Amelia Antrim: Twitter: @gingerreckoning (https://twitter.com/gingerreckoning) Garbage of the Five Rings podcast: (http://garbageofthefiverings.com/) G5R Twitter: @G5Rpodcast (https://twitter.com/G5Rpodcast) Ryan Boelter: Twitter: @lordneptune (https://twitter.com/lordneptune) Website: https://lordneptune.com Chimera RPG: @ChimeraRPG (https://twitter.com/ChimeraRPG) Side Heroes: @SideHeroesPod (https://twitter.com/SideHeroesPod) Patreon: https://patreon.com/RyanBoelter Our Website: http://www.charactercreationcast.com Our Network: http://oneshotpodcast.com Network Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/oneshotpodcast

"Don't be too quick to say 'Ah, that's the issue,' or 'That's the issue with the issue.' It's just to be uncomfortable, to be ambiguous, to stay in that space until it is uncomfortable, because great awareness comes with — especially in the task-based society we live in these days — having the patience to listen." — Magda Mook The work we do day-in, day-out over decades shapes our bodies, our minds, and our souls. International Coach Federation CEO Magda Mook and International Coach Federation Global Board of Directors Chair Jean-François Cousin discuss with K Street Coaching founder Gideon Culman the profound impact that the work of coaching has on the coach. If you enjoyed this interview, you'll love this conversation in episode 65 with Jennifer Garvey Berger on Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps.

Live from the 'Ah, Hear!' stage at Electric Picnic 2018, Dave talks to Mick who had a run in with a mischievous youth on the DART; Moira who lives in a ghost estate with her pal Franky; and Trevor who witnessed something very unsettling. Dave is joined on stage by Irish rapper Salty P who takes calls from his old partner Sweaty D, a 16 year old super fan called Sam, and Ali, who wants to leave the gang life behind her. To hear your complaint feature in a future episode, drop us a line at phoningitinshow@gmail.com Or message us on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook @PhoningItInShow

Lisa Campion is a Psychic Counselor, Energy Healer and Spiritual Teacher who specializes in training emerging psychics, healers and empaths to fully step into their gifts and live their life purpose - because, as she says, the world needs all the healers it can get! She’s been a professional psychic for decades and she also teaches Reiki. She talks about her brand new book which integrates psychic development and Reiki together. MENTIONED ON THE SHOW The Art of Psychic Reiki: Developing Your Intuitive and Empathic Abilities for Energy Healing by Lisa Campion Red Shoes with Psychic Lisa Campion - previous episode GUEST LINKS - LISA CAMPION lisacampion.com Psychic Reiki Facebook Group HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition FACEBOOK GROUP Shift Your Spirits Community BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Lisa: Well, it comes from a class that I've been teaching. I've been teaching reiki for about 20 years. And just in case you don't know what reiki is, reiki is a very gentle, hands-on energy healing technique from Japan. It's pretty exciting these days because, out here on the east coast where I live, all of the big hospitals have reiki in their complementary and alternative medicine units. So you can go to a big Boston hospital and ask for a reiki person to come and do this energy healing on you while you're in the hospital while you're getting chemo, pre and post surgery. It's really used for pain management a lot these days. Works great for anxiety and depression. It's getting to be more and more popular, more and more mainstream. So I train a lot of people to do reiki. I've been teaching for 20 years. What I noticed about it and why psychic reiki is that studying particularly reiki, energy medicine in general, but particularly reiki, often opens people who are sensitive. So if you're an empath, you might become more sensitive. If you have psychic tendencies or potential and you learn reiki, that can really open that channel for you. A lot of people didn't know what to do about that. It would be scary for them. It would be, I had one old lady tell me, 'I really love reiki but I stepped away from it because I felt like it opened me. I didn't know what to do and I got scared.' That makes me sad because I feel like the world needs all the healers it can get. That's how I decided to teach both of them together and why I wrote a book about it. Slade: I'm just wondering, that question comes up for a lot of people that I interact with, this idea of being opened up and being afraid of that happening. And kind of like, resisting it and sort of backing up from that. What do you say to somebody who's experiencing that, or on the verge of sort of feeling like they're opening up a little bit. What do you recommend that they do to sort of protect themselves but also move forward? Lisa: Yeah, it can be super overwhelming to people, so people who are sensitive and empathic, they feel, they're worried, they're afraid they're going to get flooded or overwhelmed or swamped by other people's feelings and emotions. That's hard for them. The people that are psychically-inclined may have a lot of fear about what that means. Are they gonna see bad things? Are they gonna go crazy? Are people gonna think they're crazy? What are they gonna tell their friends and family they're seeing people, they're having these psychic experiences, and there's still a lot of stigma about this. I know I'm preaching to the choir with you on this topic, Slade, but, you know, not too long ago, they would put people like us in the mental hospital for talking to angels. Slade: True. Lisa: Talking to angels and talking to their Uncle Fred would land you in the looney bin. So people have to sort of unwind the fear around that. And then, I think the best thing to do about it, I think everyone has to make a decision about whether they're going to accept or allow that part of themselves. Can we own it and what, if you do, then we have to sort of train. So, the empaths need to train, learn how to manage their energy, which nobody ever knows. Because very few people get taught that. And psychic people need to learn basic... I think it's like being street-smart. Like, how do we, when we have enough information, it's less scary than if we just don't throw open the door and don't have any context for it. Slade: You know, you're right to talk about the preaching to the choir thing. Even I forget how many people who are going through this, it's new for them. It's sometimes hard to remember when you've been doing this for 20 years that there's somebody who's experiencing this for two weeks or whatever. I keep being reminded, especially on social media and the Facebook groups, so many people posting about being in that part of the process. So I do want to be really sensitive to the fact that not everybody feels as bold and brave as we might. So who is this book for, ideally? Lisa: It's for people that are new to the idea of reiki and wanting to learn. So it gives my version of reiki, which is pretty practical, pretty grounded, pretty technical in a way. And I think it would also quite benefit people who are already reiki practitioners. You know, there's over a million reiki practitioners just in the United States alone and many more worldwide. Those people who have studied reiki, who want to learn more about it but also want to really incorporate the psychic, intuitive energy management piece because hardly anyone teaches that. There are a lot of fabulous reiki teachers, but they don't teach energy management basics. They don't teach how to really open our intuition, how to really strongly connect with our guides, our reiki guides. There doesn't seem to be very much where that's all in the same package. Slade: There are photographs in your book. There are infographics. You've got hand positions for working on yourself, for working on other people. Can we learn to actually practice reiki from this book? Lisa: You could. Yeah. It was designed to be a manual, so you can use it like a manual with a lot of the psychic and energy management techniques. And even those techniques are very technical-oriented, so teaching you specifically how to ground, how to clear yourself after a session, how to connect with your guides, what to do when x, y and z happens. Of course, when we're doing reiki, you do need to receive an attunment. The attunement can only be done by a reiki master. So a lot of people say, 'Well I feel like I touch people and I move energy. Am I doing reiki?' And the answer really is no unless you had a reiki attunement. So you could get everything you needed for reiki level one and two from the book except the attunement. You still need to find somebody near you who would do that for you. Slade: Well if there's that many people out there who are reiki practitioners, I guess that's a pretty realistic thing to be able to track down. What do you suggest someone does who maybe doesn't live in a major city, if they want to do the attunement? How would they find someone? Lisa: Lots of people do long distance attunements, and I do too. So I'm happy to do long distance attunements for people that I teach. Actually for the first time ever this summer, I taught a virtual reiki class via livestream. So I had a bunch of people in the room with me, and then I had a whole bunch of people on livestream. That was very cool. I loved it. For those people that were taking the class virtually, I would attune them long distance. So you can get long distance attunements. You can get long distance reiki treatment sessions and long distance works just as well. Some people say even better than when you're in the room. Slade: Really? Why do you think that is? Lisa: They've done a lot of studies, and I read this really interesting study recently about this. Long distance healing sessions seem to be more effective because... I don't know if there's less interference, there's less personalization. We don't take things personally as much. There's not, maybe as much mingling of our personal stuff into a session when it's long distance. Slade: Like sensory distractions or something? Lisa: Yeah, or like our personal agenda. Like you really like that person and you really want to help them. Slade: Right. Lisa: Sort of where we get hooked as a person, not as a healer, with our clients. And doing long distance work takes that out. Slade: Interesting. Well I prefer to not see people when I'm doing readings for them. I like to be kind of blind and only listening to them. And I prefer to do it from a distance. If somebody local asks me to do a reading, I'm like, 'You have to call me. I won't do it in the room with you.' Lisa: I know. I know that about you! I think that's so cool. But you're an auditory psychic, really, so... Slade: Yeah... Lisa: I know you got all the channels loaded up, but that's how you make your connection. Slade: It's kind of like when you listen to a piece of music and you really want to go in deep, you close your eyes and really focus in on it. But I am a people watcher, so I'm reading the subtle clues of like, the jewellry choices that someone made or what they're wearing or why does she have that hairstyle? It's very distracting. Lisa: Right! And I think the long distance takes that away. We get sort of a more neutral, more objective connection with long distance. Slade: You know what? I just have to say, I think technology's so amazing. And because I really think that technology is a friend to our... You know, we talk about the inner connectivity of human beings and collective consciousness and the zeitgeist and our ascendance as a species. I really believe that our technology, in particular our communications technology, amplifies our ability to do that. It really does have this opportunity to be hyper-connected. And to hear that there is a study that shows, not only does it works, but it actually might even work better - that's exciting. Lisa: That was exciting. And it was so exciting for me to do the livestream this summer. That was an incredible experience for me as a teacher, because I had a room full of 20 people, but I also had 10... One from... They were all over the world! And that livestream technology put them in the room with me. So cool. Slade: Are you gonna keep doing those, do you think? Periodically? Lisa: Yeah! Slade: Okay! Lisa: I will. Slade: Cool, cool. I've always wanted to ask a reiki practitioner this, and for some reason I haven't. Maybe because I don't want to show actually how little I know about it. But I'm just curious. What kind of things can we expect to experience if we are receiving reiki from someone? Should we feel something? What happens? Lisa: Yeah it's a great question. Reiki is a very nurturing and filling kind of energy. We say it comes in at the frequency of unconditional love. Which, I think if you're going to be stuck on planet earth, stuck on a desert island with only one frequency, that's a really good one to have, you know? Most people are really, sort of like turning on a faucet and standing under a waterfall where what you're receiving is this unconditional love. People tell me that it's very relaxing. It's very warm. So the reiki practitioner's hands get warm. That's sort of a signature of reiki - it's a hot hand healing technique. And people will feel sort of this, sometimes if you're sensitive to the flow of energy, you might feel pulsing, tingling, heat, kind of the feelings of energy moving. Other people don't feel that but they feel the results of the energy moving. So they'll feel relaxed, warm, peaceful, nurtured, energized. It's good. It's a good feeling. Slade: I am really impressed. I'm only becoming just aware, not only through you, but through another reiki practitioner that I work with, and I do mentoring with a lot of people around the intuitive stuff and the building of their practice who do have reiki and incorporate that into their practice. I come from the other side of where you're coming from, which is, I came in through the intuitive. And so much of what I do is just, almost a talk therapy or talk coaching format, and I have seen that there is this real beauty in having a healing component to your practice. Not only being able to tell someone, 'Oh, well your energy looks like crap. Here's why.' But to have the ability to actually do something about it, right then and there... Lisa: Absolutely. For me, that's the coolest thing. I do, about half of my sessions are in person in my office, and half are long-distance, phone or skype. The in-person sessions, because I'm a visual psychic and I'm looking at everyone's energy field, it's really painful for me to sit in a chair and see what's going on inside your energy field and not want to do something about it. So you can see me look at my client, I'll be like, 'Let's get you up on the table.' Because I want to get my hands on you. I want to sort of smooth things out or get rid of some blocks or kind of patch you back up a little bit. It's so satisfying to me to be able to do that. Slade: Well that's interesting you talk about the fact that you are more of a visual psychic. I noticed, just for me personally, looking through the book, one of the sections that I was most attracted to was the level of detail that you go into about reading the aura of the client. Talk to me a little bit about that. Is this stuff that you've observed through your practice? Did you learn it from someone else? There's a really cool level of detail specifically about reading the aura that I was surprised to find in here. I thought it was cool. Lisa: Yeah, thank you! I think I can teach people to do it pretty quickly. It's finding your open channel, so look, I teach my students to have somebody stand in front of a white wall and begin to observe. Like, what do we see? What do we see with our eyes open? What do we see if we look out of our peripheral vision or if you squint your eye? What do you then see if you close your eyes, because you're going to see better. Your psychic eye will kind of kick in. I like to also change the word 'see' to 'perceive'. So what do we perceive? Because everyone has different channels. Somebody might feel it, hear it. You might ask, 'Well what does that person's aura look like?' And you get the answer as a word in your head or a feeling in your body. A smell, a taste, a colour. There's all kinds of ways that that comes in and I think a lot of it is, that information is very available to us. Because we're constantly unconsciously reading other people's energy 24/7. We're all masters at it. Slade: Mmm... Lisa: We're ready. We're just doing it mostly unconsciously. So bringing that sort of consciousness, and then being aware of what channels we're receiving that information on is where we get really, oh, no, I get it. Slade: I notice that there's also an emphasis on empaths, which is really cool because, as we were talking about earlier, this experience of being sensitive and opening up to things. Tell me why particularly you chose to emphasize so much training around that energy hygiene, or that energy protection component. Lisa: Thanks for that question. It's a great question. What I notice about empaths, and I really work a lot with empathic people, is that I believe, the qualities of being an empath (so being able to feel what people are feeling with your own emotions, being able to put your hands on people, touch them and feel what's going on in their body in YOUR body), I believe that those two things are like the perfect diagnostic x-ray, MRI, for healers. So, really, that's what empath is for. That level of empathy is for people that are drawn to helping, healing, being a caregiver. We can all find our own unique way of doing that. But SO many empaths are called to be healers. So many. So many are called... And reiki is such a great entry point for people that are wanting to study. In fact, I will often tell my empaths to learn reiki, because learning reiki gives them an outlet for their desire to heal people. It teaches you how to not use your own energy, but to use universal life force. We can't run out of this universal supply of energy so you're not giving up your personal energy in reiki. And then it teaches you how to really ground, how to clear yourself, especially the way that I teach it. We learn these energetic basics of, how do we manage our energy field? So I think it's very good on every level, for people that are empaths. Slade: You know what I love about that too is so many people who talk about being highly sensitive, or experiencing empathic phenomenon, feel victimized by it. They feel afraid or anxious or beleaguered in some way. There's a lot of negativity and sort of victim-mindset around that sometimes. I really love, especially some of the people, like yourself that I've had on the show, who speak about the idea of being an empath from this really empowered perspective. That sensitivity is a gift and it's an ability that you can develop to do something really active in the world to help other people, right? Lisa: Yes. I absolutely... And I feel like what needs to happen is the empaths need to learn how to manage their energy, to manage their sensitivity. And that's the part that's missing for them. So it does absolutely feel like a curse. Like, take it away from me, make it go away, until we learn, first of all, what it's for. And then, second of all, how do we actually, in the moment, manage our energy. How do we ground? How do we clear energy we picked up that we don't want anymore? How do we pick up a habit of having a stronger energy field, or less porous energy field? And it's not hard to learn. There are many, many easy ways to do it. Once you begin to do that in a habitual way, so you change your habits, your energy management habits, then all of a sudden, the world is easier to be in. People don't drain you. The supermarket doesn't freak you out. And you can really then step into your gifts. And I feel this, it makes me really sad, because I feel like there's this terrible catch-22. Empaths want to help. They want to serve. They know that's what they're for and they can't figure out how to do it without this missing piece. Slade: Mmm... Something that I had an epiphany around there was you talking about was learning to use universal life force energy instead of using your own energy. And I thought, you know what? Maybe when I experience the anxiety of being drained, or from interacting with too many people, maybe it's because I'm shifting into a mode where I'm using my own energy and I'm not consciously aware of that. I'm gonna go sit with that concept. That was actually really revelatory for me. I'm having a moment over here, thinking, Ohmygod, is that what I'm doing? Lisa: Oh good! Slade: Like I'm gonna go work on that piece. Lisa: We ALL do! It's what we all do until we learn otherwise. Until we learn there's another way. Slade: Yeah. Lisa: We give up our energy, and when we don't have anymore, we steal energy from other people. We steal energy from coffee, sugar. We kind of have to... We become desperately drained and we then have to figure out how to fill ourselves up through addictions or through sort of energy vampirism. All of these horrible things that we don't want to do. So people are always talking about energy vampires. I'm considering this as the topic of my next book, by the way. What is the truth about energy vampires? Some energy vampires are people that are so empathic and they've been so badly drained that they're now desperate to get energy from anything. We go into system breakdown when that happens. Slade: That's kind of a more compassionate way to think about them too, to tell you the truth. Because when I hear 'energy vampire', I'm thinking, somebody with a personality disorder, who's like, 'Oh god, (eye roll) here they come.' You know what I mean? So to think about that from a more compassionate place of like, why are they doing that? What happened to them that they got to that point? That's a good thing to keep in mind. This is a little bit of a tangent, but while we're on the subject, what are your feelings around psychic attack? Like when somebody comes to you and says, 'I'm being psychically attacked', or 'someone is cursing me', or doing some kind of evil magic on me... What are your feelings about that? What's going on? Lisa: I think that it's real. I definitely have, in all the years that I've been doing work, you know, doing sessions for people, I think most of the time, probably a good 80% of the time, whoever's doing it is totally unconscious that they're doing it. You know? You're going through a rough break up and your ex is walking around, muttering, cursing you the way we think, that kind of thing, and if we're sensitive and we're so psychically connected to somebody, we're gonna feel it. Slade: Okay. Lisa: You know? We're gonna feel that. And I think that's most of the time. It's not that the person, somebody, woke up and said, 'I'm gonna do some black magic today!' 'What can I do to take a bite out of Slade this morning?' That is pretty rare. It does happen. There are definitely cultures or people who are very curse-prone. And I lived in a town with... For awhile, my office was in a town with a population of people who really loved to curse. And you'd go, you could go pay this lady $500 to put a curse on your friend who stole your boyfriend. Then if you're the person that got cursed, you go to the same lady to pay her $500 to get that thing off. That's happened. I just think it's not as common. It's mostly unconscious. People not knowing how to... And then people having maybe not very good boundaries. So if you're very leaky and you don't have a strong boundary, and the outer edge of your energy field is breached through trauma or whatever. There's many reasons why that happens. Then you can be really sensitive to that. Slade: My feeling is that you kind of have to participate in it at some level. Like, you've gotta be in some kind of relationship with this person in order for that phenomenon to occur. That may or may not necessarily be in your book. I just wanted to ask you about it while you were talking about it. And you were thinking about perhaps writing something about the topic. It is something that people bring to me in my practice, and I'm always a little bit suspicious of it being what they perceive it as. You know, that there could be something else going on. One thing I want to ask you about the book though is, we talked a lot about the reiki and the energy management part of it. Can we also learn to do psychic readings through this book? Lisa: Yeah. Yeah, you can. So I talk a lot about that. How to develop our psychic abilities. How to develop our intuition, which I see slightly different from psychic, and how to apply that in a reading. Because what happens a lot is that people, you know, when you're doing reiki or you're working with your hands, on or just above a person, and if you have those channels open, you might begin to see colours around those people. You might begin to feel the presence of spirits around you. It happens ALL the time. And I think it's great. It's an incredible opportunity for the healing to be deeper, more powerful, for your client to get more out of it if you know how to do it. So we have to learn, what does it mean when you see colours around people? What do you do when a spirit comes in? 'I think your mother's here...' How do we handle that? How do we get more of it? How do we have good boundaries and ethics around it? I talk actually a lot about ethics in my book. Because I feel like people... It's really important because not everyone gets good training, not every psychic gets good training, not every healer gets good training around, what are the boundaries? How do we keep ourselves and our client safe, especially with psychic stuff. Slade: I'm curious. Do you have any kind of plans to do maybe a Facebook group or some other kind of support around the book and the people who are working with it in the process? Lisa: Yeah! I have a Facebook group. It's called Psychic Reiki. Slade: Okay. Lisa: I would love to have you in it. Come on in, everybody! Slade: Okay! Lisa: It's a real nice community and it is a... You do have to ask permission to join the group, but I'd love to have you there. And that's exactly... I pop in there every week and do some Facebook live, I do some teaching, I answer questions. It's a great community. Slade: Is there anything that we haven't touched on about the book that you really want to emphasize or get out there? Lisa: I just wanted to say, I don't know, how, kind of amazed I am that I did it. It was really quite a process and it's been a very growthful personal process for me, to commit to doing it. It was a lot of work. I started writing it in 2015 and here it is in 2018, hitting the shelves. It was a pretty intense journey for me to go fully down that path and... Yeah, I guess that's... Slade: Well we definitely do have some writers in the audience and I wanted to ask you... Like, I always feel a little bit guilty if I start to nerd out on the author stuff when I'm talking to someone else. But you and I were talking a lot about the process and this journey, and books are big project undertakings. They're, like you said, you spent three years working on this. So what did you discover about this creative process? Will you do it again? Lisa: Absolutely will. The books are like queuing up in my head, so I already have the next three books, I think, in my head. I think of them like airplanes waiting for an open runway to land. And they do build up and I do feel compelled to write. Actually, I quite like the process of writing. I really enjoy it and somehow I was under this crazy idea that that was sort of it. That you hand in the manuscript and then you're done. Suddenly a book magically happens. So I wasn't prepared for the amount of work that it took to write the proposal, which I thought was more difficult than writing the book. And I had a coach. I never would've done it... I've had some really good coaching. And that's what helped me really get over these parts that I didn't know. And I would talk to my book coach and literally have to go breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes afterwards... 'You want me to do what?' Slade: We're so neurotic about this, aren't we? Lisa: Ohmygod, it was terrible! It had me at my edge, like the edge of my comfort zone. Once the writing was over, I was sort of fine during that period. Then I got an agent, that happened actually easily for me and a week later I had a publishing deal from a very good publisher, New Harbinger Press. They specialize in self-help and spirituality books. Then there was a year of editing the manuscript, which I was like, 'Ah! Piece of cake. I can do this.' And it was absolutely grueling. Slade: Ooo... Lisa: And it took forever. And the editor that I had was very good but not a big hand-holder. So after, little shreds of my ego were left after that book, I mean, there was nothing. It was like burned down to a bare-bones of myself. But I learned a TON. I learned a ton about how to write a good book and I'm a teacher, so that's where I came from. And she's like, 'There's a different skill set between teaching and writing a book that people will actually read.' So what happened to the manuscript, you wouldn't even recognize the manuscript I turned in compared to what it is. But I learned a ton. And then when I was, I was like, 'I'm finally done!' They sent the manuscript back to me and they said, 'Great. Now cut out 10,000 words.' Slade: Ooo, yeah. Lisa: And I learned micro-editing, like you take out the little words that don't mean anything. And I'm super glad I did because it's so much more polished. So much more readable. The whole process of that. Slade: My editor is a grammar nazi. I mean, she has a masters degree in grammar. I'm an English major. I have an English degree. I write all the time. I don't think that I'm that bad at it. But I learned that I had so many horrible... My face turns red thinking about the things that I would fill a manuscript with unconsciously. And so, the things that she's taught me about grammar, like, 'Oh, you have a tendency to do this thing, which is really annoying, and then you're gonna have to go through and change it'. What happens is, you take that on and it becomes a part of your programming. And then the next time you write, you don't do those things. So it is the most humiliating thing in the world to work really hard on something and feel like such a smartypants and then have somebody hand it back to you marked to pieces. I mean, it just shreds your soul. Lisa: Totally. It was so painful, but I'm such a better writer now. Slade: Yeah! And every time you do it, it's like you're learning something, even about the structure of a book. Like when you go in and write that next outline, having been through that process, it changes the way that you start. It reduces the amount of work on the back end, sometimes, just by knowing, okay, I know what's going to happen here so let's build this in from the beginning. I just want to say that for... Yeah, go ahead. Lisa: I was just gonna say, who knew that a chapter really needs an introductory paragraph and a concluding paragraph. They teach you that in high school and I never did it. And now I have it. Slade: Did you not do... Did you not identify as a writer when you were younger like that? Lisa: I did! I totally did. I was like you. I was a literature major. I studied comparative literature. I was a freelance writer for Ziff Davis for ten years. I wrote magazine articles for national magazines. I always thought I was a good writer. And I think I was a good writer, but I think I'm a much better writer now. Slade: Mmm... I think you're the real deal. Because most people would crumble in the face of that and just run away. The fact that you've been through that process and your first thought is, Ooo what am I going to do next, is the sure sign of an author. I'm really excited for you to be experiencing this first big launch. I was gonna say, for everybody who's out there working on a book, there is a great power in completing projects and taking them all the way through the process. Because, like I said, you learn something from the tail end of it, which is so much bigger than you thought. That then informs what you do from the beginning and the next one. And I feel like that probably happens on some level every single time. So don't just write A book. Write lots of books. Write all of them, if you have time. Lisa: Yeah. Slade: Lisa, I'm so happy that our work gives us the opportunity to get together and talk like we do. Again, the book is called The Art of Psychic Reiki: developing your intuitive and empathic abilities for energy healing, by Lisa Campion. Tell us where we can go to find out more about you and this book. Lisa: Well the book you can get on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Goodreads. It's available on all those places. And if you want to find out more about me, just come visit me on my website: LisaCampion.com I'd love to see you on that Facebook group. Find me on Facebook or like me on Facebook and find my Facebook page, Psychic Reiki. I'd love to see you there. Slade: That was great, Lisa. Thank you for coming on the show. Lisa: Thank you, Slade. It was so much fun.

Ron and Ed welcome comic/actress Valerie Tosi to talk about her Nerd GOAT: Dana Scully! Our first guest to ever play their GOAT on TV! See Valerie this Halloween on the new season of IFC's Stan Against Evil! She plays Agent Flesbitt, a skeptical FBI agent investigating paranormal activity in the show's small town. It's a parody that should sound very familiar after listening to this Nerd GOAT. Valerie also hosts the longest-running all-female show at the Hollywood Improv, The Mermaid Comedy Hour. Check out her website www.valerietosi.com for upcoming standup dates, and follow her @valerie_tosi on Twitter and Instagram. — SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON for bonus episodes, movie reviews, and behind-the-scenes content! This month: Real Life Nerd GOAT Bruce Lee, the review of Ant-Man and The Wasp, and a BTS clip of a woman barging into our studio to demand a notary. ONLY on Patreon! — QUOTES: "Anything that was violent, or scary, or toilet humor was totally fine. But if it was like, two teenagers talking about doing it, my dad would go: 'ABSOLUTELY NOT!'" "When Steve Rogers and Bucky finally kiss, that's going to be the biggest unrequited ship, but until then, it's Scully and Mulder." "Sometimes in the morning when I need a pump-up song, I'm like, 'Do I wanna listen to Alanis, Whitney or Scully Loves Science?'" "I used to be part of a natural science team where we'd dissect whales." "'Hey Mulder, we know that you can't talk to people, so you know, let me handle this.' He would try, and she'd be like, 'Ah man, why do I let him talk to ANYONE?'" "That was a very cis compliment." — See Ed MERCILESSLY DESTROY on Movie Fights, and catch him every Wednesday on the Screen Junkies News livestream! Subscribe, rate and review Nerd GOAT on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks at the show, and other great content!

James Gleick tries to imagine what Einstein would have thought about time travel.  “For a while, I was hoping I could find a letter from Einstein,” he says. “My dream was that he'd read the 'Time Machine' and said 'Ah ha!' But of course, there's nothing like that. There's no evidence that I could find that Einstein was a sci-fi buff.” And John Wray’s novel, The Lost Time Accidents is about an eastern European family in the early 1900s that believes that they have discovered the secret to time travel. And they see Einstein as their arch-enemy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Gleick tries to imagine what Einstein would have thought about time travel.  “For a while, I was hoping I could find a letter from Einstein,” he says. “My dream was that he'd read the 'Time Machine' and said 'Ah ha!' But of course, there's nothing like that. There's no evidence that I could find that Einstein was a sci-fi buff.” And John Wray’s novel, The Lost Time Accidents is about an eastern European family in the early 1900s that believes that they have discovered the secret to time travel. And they see Einstein as their arch-enemy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a slightly more condensed episode in which the TF crew discusses an idiotic Sunday Times piece about 'hipster fascists,' but more importantly it's an episode centred on the campaign in Ireland to repeal the 8th Amendment. Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), and Hussein (@HKesvani) speak with journalist Sirin Kale (@thedalstonyears) about Irish abortion laws, the impending referendum, and whether or not the uniforms of the royal wedding were inspired by Steven Seagal. If you're in Ireland and can vote, make sure to do so — unless you're going to vote incorrectly, in which case you should bin yourself immediately. Please remember that, in these trying and dark times, you can always commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from Lil' Comrade (http://www.lilcomrade.com/). Please help us support a fellow socialist's small business! We'll pause for a minute as a thousand buttery dads emerge to say, 'Ah, but aren't you participating in capitalism by exchanging goods for currency?' Nate (@inthesedeserts) produced this from a British politics exclave in sunny Brooklyn, New York, where everyone is in fact walkin' here.

Ed and Ron talk to animation producer Eric Bell about his Nerd GOAT: Mordin Solus from the Mass Effect franchise! Come discover one of the richest video game worlds ever created. Eric is a comedian who produces the web cartoon 24 Frames, which spoofs and reviews animated shows! Catch all of his work at www.bellcomedy.com, and follow him @bellcomedy on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. — QUOTES: "People who destroy planets are treated better than people who kill regular people." "John Stewart, Luke Cage, I think even Stalker from G.I. Joe, all framed for a crime they didn't commit!" "If I made the atomic bomb or something, I'd be like, 'Ah, that's a bad one, that's a bad one on me.' I'm not gonna invent the ANTI atomic bomb, I'm just gonna go chill out on my boat." "Sometimes we ask what's the shittiest thing your character ever did. I think making rhinos not be able to fuck." "When you kill a character, it should hit, and it should be permanent." "They prefer to be called hacking ladies, or hacking sluts." — Catch Ed every Wednesday on the Screen Junkies Universe livestream! Subscribe, rate and review Nerd GOAT on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. Follow Bail Bonds Media on Instagram for behind-the-scenes looks at the show, and other great content!

Thoughts? Comments? You can contact me by calling or texting 201-429-0274. If you leave a voicemail please be aware, you only have 3 minutes. Email me at improveandhavefun@gmail.com ..Join the conversation on the blog by going here https://bit.ly/2DVwzqG   ..Thanks for listening! This is a new, regular segment of the podcast where I discuss recent lessons learned. These are pieces of info that I've read, listened to, or recently watched that made me stop and reflect. I did these as one-offs in the past. There are affiliate links in this segment. Here are five recent lessons learned. 1- Watching Evan Carmicheal's Youtube channel; he had Simon Sinek's Top 10 Rules for Success. The rule that resonated with me was 'be the last to speak.' 'You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen. I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak. I see it in boardrooms every day of the week. Even people who consider themselves good leaders who may be decent leaders, will walk into a room and say, 'Here's the problem. Here's what I think but I'm interested in your opinion. Let's go around the room.' It's too late. 'The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things. One, it gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard. It gives everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed. And two, you get the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion. The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself. If you agree with somebody, don't nod yes. If you disagree with somebody, don't nod no. Simply sit there, take it all in, and the only thing you're allowed to do is ask questions. So that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have. ' 'And at the end, you will get your turn. It sounds easy. It's not. Practice being the last to speak.' Here is a link to the Youtube video. http://bit.ly/2havlR4  2- I'm currently reading Ryan Holiday's 'Ego is the Enemy.' In it, he suggests to 'always be a student'. How ego prevents us from being our best self. Here is a quote on page 38: 'The power of being a student is not just that is is an extended period of instruction, it also places that ego and ambition in someone else's hands. There is a sort of ego ceiling imposed-one knows that he is not better than the 'master' he apprentices under. Not even close. You defer to them; you subsume yourself. You cannot fake or bullshit them. Education can't be 'hacked'; there are no shortcuts besides hacking it every single day. If you don't, they drop you.' If this resonated with you, this book be can purchased here http://amzn.to/2pgNkIH  3 - Listening to the audiobook version of Lewis Howes 'Mask of Masculinity' he discusses the 'Know-it-all Mask' where one feels like they must put up a front as if they know it all to get attention and feel important. This quote is on pages 176-177 of the eBook version. 'Have you ever noticed how people try to fill the dead time in a conversation by rambling on about some random topic? Have you ever noticed someone at work trying to impress the people around them by going on a long rant about something you can't even pronounce? Have you ever seen someone in an important setting suck the air out of the room by making it all about them? They always have a response, they can't let anything go, and they have to show you how smart they are. It's obnoxious, isn't it? Worse, no honest guy can critique that tendency in other people without also having to look in the mirror and admit how often they've been guilty of it themselves. I cringe when I think of those moments in my own life. I can barely stomach thinking of the opportunities I've blown or the fool I might have made of myself. I think; What if I wasn't so insecure or didn't need to feel to prove I had something to say? How different could things have been?' I've been the 'Know-It-All' guy. Wanting to make sure to get my shit in. This ties into the first lesson. Listen, be a student. I would include the lesson above this one, 'be the last to speak.' No one can know everything about anything. Mr. Howes says 'beware of experts,' 'many of us are making it up as we go along anyway.' If this interested you, the book can be purchased here http://amzn.to/2HEF7ot  4-Last year, Lewis Howes had Grant Cardone on his School Of Greatness show. I will be quoting this particular episode several times in future installments of this segment. Grant Cardone can be a hard teacher, but he is also very entertaining. In this lesson, he talked about how 'Work is a gift from God.' Here are two clips. Quote 1: 'I think work is the gift that doesn't look like a gift from God. People all talk about they don't want to work; they hate work, they hate their job. Dude, I love my jobs. I love jobs. I love having a place to work. I've been out of work. I'll take any job. I'd rather any job than no job. I'd go flip hamburgers. I like doing dirty jobs. Mike Rowe, I love Mike Rowe because he'll do the dirty job. And I trust people that will do dirty jobs. And I don't trust people that are like, "Oh, J-O-B, just over broke." Dude, you're broke now. If you even know that freaking term, you're broke now.' Quote 2: 'So, I know Tim Ferris has the Four-Hour Work Week. I don't know why, every time I say time management, I think about Tim Ferris. I'm like, dude, that's dumb ... ain't nobody ever done a four hour work week. I'd kill myself. Might be the cause of depression. Stay busy. Stay busy; you won't put a gun in your mouth. You know? Run from one thing to the next thing, as fast as you can. And everybody's like, 'Ah man, but what about life balance?' You're selfish. See, you're back to talking about yourself again. But that's what I mean about create the life you want man so that you can have, not balance, but life. Right? I'm doing my life. I don't do jobs; I do my life. So, come in here to be with you today, adds quality to my life. I didn't come to this to spread the Grant Cardone name. I spend time with Lewis Howes because it makes Grants life, Grant's life.' I love this because it helps to reframe the daily, work grind. The 9a-5p. To watch the whole Grant Cardone interview go here. http://bit.ly/2ph88zw  5 - Finally, I'm currently going through my first book by Brene Brown. 'The Gifts of Imperfection'(great title). She says that as I am right now, I am enough, I'm paraphrasing. I love this. Here is the full quote on page 23 of the ebook version. 'The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute. Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites. So many of us have knowingly created/unknowingly allowed/been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites:' -'I'll be worthy when I lose twenty pounds. -I'll be worthy if I can get pregnant. -I'll be worthy If I get/stay sober. -I'll be worthy if everyone thinks I'm a good parent. -I'll be worthy when I can make a living selling my art. -I will be worthy when I can hold my marriage together. -I'll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I'm not even trying.' 'Here's what is truly at the heart of Wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right, this minute. As is. In addition to letting go of the ifs and whens, another critical piece of owning our story and claiming our worthiness is cultivating a better understanding of love and belonging.' This lifts spirits! If you enjoyed this quote, you could find Mrs. Brown's book here. http://amzn.to/2tPgiE2  Shopping through these links supports this podcast and the authors of their respective books. Thoughts? Comments? Call the voicemail line, email me. Do so wherever you see this on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube or the blog at www.improveandhavefun.com. Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paul_pvp_perez/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pvpluvzlieff   Twitter: https://twitter.com/Paul_PVP_Perez    Rate, like, leave a review! I will shout you out for sure!   If you've enjoyed this, please support this podcast by doing any, all your shopping through my affiliate links:   my eBay link: eBay http://ebay.to/2e5mvmj   or my Amazon link: http://amzn.to/2dRu3IM   Any shopping through these links will be at no extra cost to you. Thank you!   Subscribe/watch/listen here:   iTunes http://apple.co/2pnmMqa   Android http://bit.ly/2p5fgQx   YouTube http://bit.ly/2ixiRo4    iHeartRadio http://bit.ly/2oBLZdX   Stitcher http://bit.ly/2p8oTi2   TuneIn http://bit.ly/2oE6xUQ   Google Play http://bit.ly/2oEizNZ   SPOTIFY http://spoti.fi/2ALfgHr  

Weeeeellllcommmme to Meeeeeereeee Rhetoooooric! It’s our annual Halloween episode, which means a little bit of the people, ideas and movements who have shaped rhetorical history, but mostly a ghost story. This year, we’re going with our first not-MR-James story. Don’t worry--there are still intials--but first--to business.   If you’re going to talk about ghost stories and influential thinkers, you won’t dig long until you come across Freud’s contribution, a little piece called “The Uncanny.” You might not peg Sigmund Freud as a connoisseur of boogeymen, but he was capital-f freaked capital-o out by ETA Hoffmann’s story “The Sandman.” If Hoffmann’s name sounds familiar, it’s probably because you know him from writing the story of the Nutcracker ballet. Look at that--our annual tradition here at Mere Rhetoric just founds 3-degrees of separation to every ballet company’s annual tradition! Anyway, the Sandman is a freaky sci-fi horror tale that eventually inspired another ballet called Coppelia. The original is even more terrifying. Don’t worry--it’s coming up after we talk about Freud. Right now all you need to know is that the line between reality and madness is thin, thin and shaky.   Freud was, as you might expect, very into that. He draws heavily on a German pun--evidentally heimlich means both homey or familiar and secret or hidden. In terms of the uncanny, things are most terrifying when we think we’re playing in the realm of our daylight reality and then suddenly the rules change. No one, for example, is horrified when Snow White RISES FROM THE DEAD, because we already are accepting that we’re in a fairy tale with, like, singing animals who do housework. As Freud says, ““as soon as it is given an arbitrary and unrealistic setting in fiction it is apt to lose its quality of the uncanny” (19). And what are these eerie occurances? Because Freud is a master classifier, they can be split across “either when repressed infantile complexes have been revived by some impression, or when the primitive beliefs we have surmounted seem once more to be confirmed (17)--so he believes either the terrors of childhood or of primitive man resurface in our horror stories. The parts of us that we repress resurface as ghosts and witches and we confront them in physical manifestations separate from us. For example, the supernatural power of, like, a giant or a firestarter, relates to our own narcissistic impulses to dominate others. Freud goes through and gives a catalogue of things that are uncanny:   dismembering the double living dolls repetition (like seeing the same number all day) evil eye ghosts witchcraft madness As you listen to this year’s Halloween episode, The Sandman, you can point out where these pop up--see if you can get Uncanny Bingo!   NATHANEL TO LOTHAIRE Certainly you must all be uneasy that I have not written for so long - so very long. My mother, am sure, is angry, and Clara will believe that I am passing my time in dissipation, entirely forgetful of her fair, angelic image that is so deeply imprinted on my heart. Such, however, is not the case. Daily and hourly I think of you all; and the dear form of my lovely Clara passes before me in my dreams, smiling upon me with her bright eyes as she did when I was among you. But how can I write to you in the distracted mood which has been disturbing my every thought! A horrible thing has crossed my path. Dark forebodings of a cruel, threatening fate tower over me like dark clouds, which no friendly sunbeam can penetrate. I will now tell you what has occurred. I must do so - that I plainly see - the mere thought of it sets me laughing like a madman. Ah, my dear Lothaire, how shall I begin ? How shall I make you in any way realize that what happened to me a few days ago can really have had such a fatal effect on my life? If you were here you could see for yourself; but, as it is, you will certainly take me for a crazy fellow who sees ghosts. To be brief, this horrible occurrence, the painful impression of which I am in vain endeavoring to throw off, is nothing more than this - that some days ago, namely on the 30th of October at twelve o'clock noon, a barometer-dealer came into my room and offered me his wares. I bought nothing, and threatened to throw him downstairs, upon which he took himself off of his own accord. Only circumstances of the most peculiar kind, you will suspect, and exerting the greatest influence over my life, can have given any import to this occurrence. Moreover, the person of that unlucky dealer must have had an evil effect upon me. So it was, indeed. I must use every endeavor to collect myself, and patiently and quietly tell you so much of my early youth as will bring the picture plainly and clearly before your eyes. As I am about to begin, I fancy that I hear you laughing, and Clara exclaiming, 'Childish stories indeed!' Laugh at me, I beg of you, laugh with all your heart. But, oh God! my hair stands on end, and it is in mad despair that I seem to be inviting your laughter, as Franz Moor did Daniel's in Schiller's play. But to my story. Excepting at dinner-time I and my brothers and sisters used to see my father very little during the day. He was, perhaps, busily engaged at his ordinary profession. After supper, which was served according to the old custom at seven o'clock, we all went with my mother into my father's study, and seated ourselves at the round table, where he would smoke and drink his large glass of beer. Often he told us wonderful stories, and grew so warm over them that his pipe continually went out. Whereupon I had to light it again with a burning spill, which I thought great sport. Often, too, he would give us picture-books, and sit in his arm-chair, silent and thoughtful, puffing out such thick clouds of smoke that we all seemed to be swimming in the clouds. On such evenings as these my mother was very melancholy, and immediately the clock struck nine she would say: 'Now, children, to bed - to bed! The Sandman's coming, I can see.' And indeed on each occasion I used to hear something with a heavy, slow step come thudding up the stairs. That I thought must be the Sandman. Once when the dull noise of footsteps was particularly terrifying I asked my mother as she bore us away: 'Mamma, who is this naughty Sandman, who always drives us away from Papa? What does he look like?' 'There is no Sandman, dear child,' replied my mother. 'When I say the Sandman's coming, I only mean that you're sleepy and can't keep your eyes open - just as if sane had been sprinkled into them.' This answer of my mother's did not satisfy me - nay, the thought soon ripened in my childish mind the she only denied the Sandman's existence to prevent our being terrified of him. Certainly I always heard him coming up the stairs. Most curious to know more of this Sandman and his particular connection with children, I at last asked the old woman who looked after my youngest sister what sort of man he was. 'Eh, Natty,' said she, 'don't you know that yet? He is a wicked man, who comes to children when they won't go to bed, and throws a handful of sand into their eyes, so that they start out bleeding from their heads. He puts their eyes in a bag and carries them to the crescent moon to feed his own children, who sit in the nest up there. They have crooked beaks like owls so that they can pick up the eyes of naughty human children.' A most frightful picture of the cruel Sandman became impressed upon my mind; so that when in the evening I heard the noise on the stairs I trembled with agony and alarm, and my mother could get nothing out of me but the cry, 'The Sandman, the Sandman!' stuttered forth through my tears. I then ran into the bedroom, where the frightful apparition of the Sandman terrified me during the whole night. I had already grown old enough to realize that the nurse's tale about him and the nest of children in the crescent moon could not be quite true, but nevertheless this Sandman remained a fearful spectre, and I was seized with the utmost horror when I heard him once, not only come up the stairs, but violently force my father's door open and go in. Sometimes he stayed away for a long period, but after that his visits came in close succession. This lasted for years, but I could not accustom myself to the terrible goblin; the image of the dreadful Sandman did not become any fainter. His intercourse with my father began more and more to occupy my fancy. Yet an unconquerable fear prevented me from asking my father about it. But if I, I myself, could penetrate the mystery and behold the wondrous Sandman - that was the wish which grew upon me with the years. The Sandman had introduced me to thoughts of the marvels and wonders which so readily gain a hold on a child's mind. I enjoyed nothing better than reading or hearing horrible stories of goblins, witches, pigmies, etc.; but most horrible of all was the Sandman, whom I was always drawing with chalk or charcoal on the tables, cupboards and walls, in the oddest and most frightful shapes. When I was ten years old my mother removed me from the night nursery into a little chamber situated in a corridor near my father's room. Still, as before, we were obliged to make a speedy departure on the stroke of nine, as soon as the unknown step sounded on the stair. From my little chamber I could hear how he entered my father's room, and then it was that I seemed to detect a thin vapor with a singular odor spreading through the house. Stronger and stronger, with my curiosity, grew my resolution somehow to make the Sandman's acquaintance. Often I sneaked from my room to the corridor when my mother had passed, but never could I discover anything; for the Sandman had always gone in at the door when I reached the place where I might have seen him. At last, driven by an irresistible impulse, I resolved to hide myself in my father's room and await his appearance there. From my father's silence and my mother's melancholy face I perceived one evening that the Sandman was coming. I, therefore, feigned great weariness, left the room before nine o'clock, and hid myself in a corner close to the door. The house-door groaned and the heavy, slow, creaking step came up the passage and towards the stairs. My mother passed me with the rest of the children. Softly, very softly, I opened the door of my father's room. He was sitting, as usual, stiff end silent, with his back to the door. He did not perceive me, and I swiftly darted into the room and behind the curtain which covered an open cupboard close to the door, in which my father's clothes were hanging. The steps sounded nearer and nearer - there was a strange coughing and scraping and murmuring without. My heart trembled with anxious expectation. A sharp step close, very close, to the door - the quick snap of the latch, and the door opened with a rattling noise. Screwing up my courage to the uttermost, I cautiously peeped out. The Sandman was standing before my father in the middle of the room, the light of the candles shone full upon his face. The Sandman, the fearful Sandman, was the old advocate Coppelius, who had often dined with us. But the most hideous form could not have inspired me with deeper horror than this very Coppelius. Imagine a large broad-shouldered man, with a head disproportionately big, a face the color of yellow ochre, a pair of bushy grey eyebrows, from beneath which a pair of green cat's eyes sparkled with the most penetrating luster, and with a large nose curved over his upper lip. His wry mouth was often twisted into a malicious laugh, when a couple of dark red spots appeared upon his cheeks, and a strange hissing sound was heard through his gritted teeth. Coppelius always appeared in an ashen-gray coat, cut in old fashioned style, with waistcoat and breeches of the same color, while his stockings were black, and his shoes adorned with agate buckles. His little peruke scarcely reached farther than the crown of his head, his curls stood high above his large red ears, and a broad hair-bag projected stiffly from his neck, so that the silver clasp which fastened his folded cravat might be plainly seen. His whole figure was hideous and repulsive, but most disgusting to us children were his coarse brown hairy fists. Indeed we did not like to eat anything he had touched with them. This he had noticed, and it was his delight, under some pretext or other, to touch a piece of cake or some nice fruit, that our kind mother might quietly have put on our plates, just for the pleasure of seeing us turn away with tears in our eyes, in disgust and abhorrence, no longer able to enjoy the treat intended for us. He acted in the same manner on holidays, when my father gave us a little glass of sweet wine. Then would he swiftly put his hand over it, or perhaps even raise the glass to his blue lips, laughing most devilishly, and we could only express our indignation by silent sobs. He always called us the little beasts; we dared not utter a sound when he was present, end we heartily cursed the ugly, unkind man who deliberately marred our slightest pleasures. My mother seemed to hate the repulsive Coppelius as much as we did, since as soon as he showed himself her liveliness, her open and cheerful nature, were changed for a gloomy solemnity. My father behaved towards him as though he were a superior being, whose bad manners were to be tolerated and who was to be kept in good humor at any cost. He need only give the slightest hint, and favorite dishes were cooked, the choicest wines served. When I now saw this Coppelius, the frightful and terrific thought took possession of my soul, that indeed no one but he could be the Sandman. But the Sandman was no longer the bogy of a nurse's tale, who provided the owl's nest in the crescent moon with children's eyes. No, he was a hideous, spectral monster, who brought with him grief, misery and destruction - temporal and eternal - wherever he appeared. I was riveted to the spot, as if enchanted. At the risk of being discovered and, as I plainly foresaw, of being severely punished, I remained with my head peeping through the curtain. My father received Coppelius with solemnity. 'Now to our work!' cried the latter in a harsh, grating voice, as he flung off his coat. My father silently and gloomily drew off his dressing gown, and both attired themselves in long black frocks. Whence they took these I did not see. My father opened the door of what I had always thought to be a cupboard. But I now saw that it was no cupboard, but rather a black cavity in which there was a little fireplace. Coppelius went to it, and a blue flame began to crackle up on the hearth. All sorts of strange utensils lay around. Heavens! As my old father stooped down to the fire, he looked quite another man. Some convulsive pain seemed to have distorted his mild features into a repulsive, diabolical countenance. He looked like Coppelius, whom I saw brandishing red-hot tongs, which he used to take glowing masses out of the thick smoke; which objects he afterwards hammered. I seemed to catch a glimpse of human faces lying around without any eyes - but with deep holes instead. 'Eyes here' eyes!' roared Coppelius tonelessly. Overcome by the wildest terror, I shrieked out and fell from my hiding place upon the floor. Coppelius seized me and, baring his teeth, bleated out, 'Ah - little wretch - little wretch!' Then he dragged me up and flung me on the hearth, where the fire began to singe my hair. 'Now we have eyes enough - a pretty pair of child's eyes,' he whispered, and, taking some red-hot grains out of the flames with his bare hands, he was about to sprinkle them in my eyes. My father upon this raised his hands in supplication, crying: 'Master, master, leave my Nathaniel his eyes!' Whereupon Coppelius answered with a shrill laugh: 'Well, let the lad have his eyes and do his share of the world's crying, but we will examine the mechanism of his hands and feet.' And then he seized me so roughly that my joints cracked, and screwed off my hands and feet, afterwards putting them back again, one after the other. 'There's something wrong here,' he mumbled. 'But now it's as good as ever. The old man has caught the idea!' hissed and lisped Coppelius. But all around me became black, a sudden cramp darted through my bones and nerves - and I lost consciousness. A gentle warm breath passed over my face; I woke as from the sleep of death. My mother had been stooping over me. 'Is the Sandman still there?' I stammered. 'No, no, my dear child, he has gone away long ago - he won't hurt you!' said my mother, kissing her darling, as he regained his senses. Why should I weary you, my dear Lothaire, with diffuse details, when I have so much more to tell ? Suffice it to say that I had been discovered eavesdropping and ill-used by Coppelius. Agony and terror had brought on delirium and fever, from which I lay sick for several weeks. 'Is the Sandman still there?' That was my first sensible word and the sign of my amendment - my recovery. I have only to tell you now of this most frightful moment in all my youth, and you will be convinced that it is no fault of my eyes that everything seems colorless to me. You will, indeed, know that a dark fatality has hung over my life a gloomy veil of clouds, which I shall perhaps only tear away in death. Coppelius was no more to be seen; it was said he had left the town. About a year might have elapsed, and we were sitting, as of old, at the round table. My father was very cheerful, and was entertaining us with stories about his travels in his youth; when, as the clock struck nine, we heard the house-door groan on its hinges, and slow steps, heavy as lead, creaked through the passage and up the stairs. 'That is Coppelius,' said my mother, turning pale. 'Yes! - that is Coppelius'' repeated my father in a faint, broken voice. The tears started to my mother's eyes. 'But father - father!' she cried, 'must it be so?' 'He is coming for the last time, I promise you,' was the answer. 'Only go now, go with the children - go - go to bed. Good night!' I felt as if I were turned to cold, heavy stone - my breath stopped. My mother caught me by the arm as I stood immovable. 'Come, come, Nathaniel!' I allowed myself to be led, and entered my chamber! 'Be quiet - be quiet - go to bed - go to sleep!' cried my mother after me; but tormented by restlessness and an inward anguish perfectly indescribable, I could not close my eyes. The hateful, abominable Coppelius stood before me with fiery eyes, and laughed maliciously at me. It was in vain that I endeavored to get rid of his image. About midnight there was a frightful noise, like the firing of a gun. The whole house resounded. There was a rattling and rustling by my door, and the house door was closed with a violent bang. 'That is Coppelius !' I cried, springing out of bed in terror. Then there was a shriek, as of acute, inconsolable grief. I darted into my father's room; the door was open, a suffocating smoke rolled towards me, and the servant girl cried: 'Ah, my master, my master!' On the floor of the smoking hearth lay my father dead, with his face burned, blackened and hideously distorted - my sisters were shrieking and moaning around him - and my mother had fainted. 'Coppelius! - cursed devil! You have slain my father!' I cried, and lost my senses. When, two days afterwards, my father was laid in his coffin, his features were again as mild and gentle as they had been in his life. My soul was comforted by the thought that his compact with the satanic Coppelius could not have plunged him into eternal perdition. The explosion had awakened the neighbors, the occurrence had become common talk, and had reached the ears of the magistracy, who wished to make Coppelius answerable. He had, however, vanished from the spot, without leaving a trace. If I tell you, my dear friend, that the barometer-dealer was the accursed Coppelius himself, you will not blame me for regarding so unpropitious a phenomenon as the omen of some dire calamity. He was dressed differently, but the figure and features of Coppelius are too deeply imprinted in my mind for an error in this respect to be possible. Besides, Coppelius has not even altered his name. He describes himself, I am told, as a Piedmontese optician, and calls himself Giuseppe Coppola. I am determined to deal with him, and to avenge my father's death, be the issue what it may. Tell my mother nothing of the hideous monster's appearance. Remember me to my dear sweet Clara, to whom I will write in a calmer mood. Farewell. CLARA TO NATHANIEL It is true that you have not written to me for a long time; but, nevertheless, I believe that I am still in your mind and thoughts. For assuredly you were thinking of me most intently when, designing to send your last letter to my brother Lothaire, you directed it to me instead of to him. I joyfully opened the letter, and did not perceive my error till I came to the words: 'Ah, my dear Lothaire.' NO, by rights I should have read no farther, but should have handed over the letter to my brother. Although you have often, in your childish teasing mood, charged me with having such a quiet, womanish, steady disposition, that, even if the house were about to fall in, I should smooth down a wrong fold in the window curtain in a most ladylike manner before I ran away, I can hardly tell you how your letter shocked me. I could scarcely breathe-----the light danced before my eyes. Ah, my dear Nathaniel, how could such a horrible thing have crossed your path ? To be parted from you, never to see you again - the thought darted through my breast like a burning dagger. I read on and on. Your description of the repulsive Coppelius is terrifying. I learned for the first time the violent manner of your good old father's death. My brother Lothaire, to whom I surrendered the letter, sought to calm me, but in vain. The fatal barometer dealer, Giuseppe Coppola, followed me at every step; and I am almost ashamed to confess that he disturbed my healthy and usually peaceful sleep with all sorts of horrible visions. Yet soon even the next day - I was quite changed again. Do not be offended, dearest one, if Lothaire tells you that in spite of your strange fears that Coppelius will in some manner injure you, I am in the same cheerful and unworried mood as ever. I must honestly confess that, in my opinion, all the terrible things of which you speak occurred merely in your own mind, and had little to do with the actual external world. Old Coppelius may have been repulsive enough, but his hatred of children was what really caused the abhorrence you children felt towards him. In your childish mind the frightful Sandman in the nurse's tale was naturally associated with old Coppelius. Why, even if you had not believed in the Sandman, Coppelius would still have seemed to you a monster, especially dangerous to children. The awful business which he carried on at night with your father was no more than this: that they were making alchemical experiments in secret, which much distressed your mother since, besides a great deal of money being wasted, your father's mind was filled with a fallacious desire after higher wisdom, and so alienated from his family - as they say is always the case with such experimentalists. Your father, no doubt, occasioned his own death, by some act of carelessness of which Coppelius was completely guiltless. Let me tell you that I yesterday asked our neighbor, the apothecary, whether such a sudden and fatal explosion was possible in these chemical experiments? 'Certainly,' he replied and, after his fashion, told me at great length and very circumstantially how such an event might take place, uttering a number of strange-sounding names which I am unable to recollect. Now, I know you will be angry with your Clara; you will say that her cold nature is impervious to any ray of the mysterious, which often embraces man with invisible arms; that she only sees the variegated surface of the world, and is as delighted as a silly child at some glittering golden fruit, which contains within it a deadly poison. Ah ! my dear Nathaniel! Can you not then believe that even in open, cheerful, careless minds may dwell the suspicion of some dread power which endeavors to destroy us in our own selves ? Forgive me, if I, a silly girl, presume in any manner to present to you my thoughts on such an internal struggle. I shall not find the right words, of course, and you will laugh at me, not because my thoughts are foolish, but because I express them so clumsily. If there is a dark and hostile power, laying its treacherous toils within us, by which it holds us fast and draws us along the path of peril and destruction, which we should not otherwise have trod; if, I say there is such a power, it must form itself inside us and out of ourselves, indeed; it must become identical with ourselves. For it is only in this condition that we can believe in it, and grant it the room which it requires to accomplish its secret work. Now, if we have a mind which is sufficiently firm, sufficiently strengthened by the joy of life, always to recognize this strange enemy as such, and calmly to follow the path of our own inclination and calling, then the dark power will fail in its attempt to gain a form that shall be a reflection of ourselves. Lothaire adds that if we have willingly yielded ourselves up to the dark powers, they are known often to impress upon our minds any strange, unfamiliar shape which the external world has thrown in our way; so that we ourselves kindle the spirit, which we in our strange delusion believe to be speaking to us. It is the phantom of our own selves, the close relationship with which, and its deep operation on our mind, casts us into hell or transports us into heaven. You see, dear Nathaniel, how freely Lothaire and I are giving our opinion on the subject of the dark powers; which subject, to judge by my difficulties in writing down. its most important features, appears to be a complicated one. Lothaire's last words I do not quite comprehend. I can only suspect what he means, and yet I feel as if it were all very true. Get the gruesome advocate Coppelius, and the barometer-dealer, Giuseppe Coppola, quite out of your head, I beg of you. Be convinced that these strange fears have no power over you, and that it is only a belief in their hostile influence that can make them hostile in reality. If the great disturbance in your mind did not speak from every line of your letter, if your situation did not give me the deepest pain, I could joke about the Sandman-Advocate and the barometer dealer Coppelius. Cheer up, I have determined to play the part of your guardian-spirit. If the ugly Coppelius takes it into his head to annoy you in your dreams, I'll scare him away with loud peals of laughter. I am not a bit afraid of him nor of his disgusting hands; he shall neither spoil my sweetmeats as an Advocate, nor my eyes as a Sandman. Ever yours, my dear Nathaniel. NATHANIEL TO LOTHAIRE I am very sorry that in consequence of the error occasioned by my distracted state of mind, Clara broke open the letter intended for you, and read it. She has written me a very profound philosophical epistle, in which she proves, at great length, that Coppelius and Coppola only exist in my own mind, and are phantoms of myself, which will be dissipated directly I recognize them as such. Indeed, it is quite incredible that the mind which so often peers out of those bright, smiling, childish eyes with all the charm of a dream, could make such intelligent professorial definitions. She cites you - you, it seems have been talking about me. I suppose you read her logical lectures, so that she may learn to separate and sift all matters acutely. No more of that, please. Besides, it is quite certain that the barometer-dealer, Giuseppe Coppola, is not the advocate Coppelius. I attend the lectures of the professor of physics, who has lately arrived. His name is the same as that of the famous natural philosopher Spalanzani, and he is of Italian origin. He has known Coppola for years and, moreover, it is clear from his accent that he is really a Piedmontese. Coppelius was a German, but I think no honest one. Calmed I am not, and though you and Clara may consider me a gloomy visionary, I cannot get rid of the impression which the accursed face of Coppelius makes upon me. I am glad that Coppola has left the town - so Spalanzani says. This professor is a strange fellow - a little round man with high cheek-bones, a sharp nose, pouting lips and little, piercing eyes. Yet you will get a better notion of him than from this description, if you look at the portrait of Cagliostro, drawn by Chodowiecki in one of the Berlin annuals; Spalanzani looks like that exactly. I lately went up his stairs, and perceived that the curtain, which was generally drawn completely over a glass door, left a little opening on one side. I know not what curiosity impelled me to look through. A very tall and slender lady, extremely well-proportioned and most splendidly attired, sat in the room by a little table on which she had laid her arms, her hands being folded together. She sat opposite the door, so that I could see the whole of her angelic countenance. She did not appear to see me, and indeed there was something fixed about her eyes as if, I might almost say, she had no power of sight. It seemed to me that she was sleeping with her eyes open. I felt very uncomfortable, and therefore I slunk away into the lecture-room close at hand. Afterwards I learned that the form I had seen was that of Spalanzani's daughter Olympia, whom he keeps confined in a very strange and barbarous manner, so that no one can approach her. After all, there may be something the matter with her; she is half-witted perhaps, or something of the kind. But why should I write you all this? I could have conveyed it better and more circumstantially by word of mouth. For I shall see you in a fortnight. I must again behold my dear, sweet angelic Clara. My evil mood will then be dispersed, though I must confess that it has been struggling for mastery over me ever since her sensible but vexing letter. Therefore I do not write to her today. A thousand greetings, etc.   Nothing more strange and chimerical can be imagined than the fate of my poor friend, the young student Nathaniel, which I, gracious reader, have undertaken to tell you. Have you ever known something that has completely filled your heart, thoughts and senses, to the exclusion of every other object? There was a burning fermentation within you; your blood seethed like a molten glow through your veins, sending a higher color to your cheeks. Your glance was strange, as if you were seeking in empty space forms invisible to all other eyes, and your speech flowed away into dark sighs. Then your friends asked you: 'What is it, my dear sir?' 'What is the matter?' And you wanted to draw the picture in your mind in all its glowing tints, in all its light and shade, and labored hard to find words only to begin. You thought that you should crowd together in the very first sentence all those wonderful, exalted, horrible, comical, frightful events, so as to strike every hearer at once as with an electric shock. But every word, every thing that takes the form of speech, appeared to you colorless, cold and dead. You hunt and hunt, and stutter and stammer, and your friends' sober questions blow like icy wind upon your internal fire until it is almost out. Whereas if, like a bold painter, you had first drawn an outline of the internal picture with a few daring strokes, you might with small trouble have laid on the colors brighter and brighter, and the living throng of varied shapes would have borne your friends away with it. Then they would have seen themselves, like you, in the picture that your mind had bodied forth. Now I must confess to you, kind reader, that no one has really asked me for the history of the young Nathaniel, but you know well enough that I belong to the queer race of authors who, if they have anything in their minds such as I have just described, feel as if everyone who comes near them, and the whole world besides, is insistently demanding: 'What is it then - tell it, my dear friend?' Thus was I forcibly compelled to tell you of the momentous life of Nathaniel. The marvelous singularity of the story filled my entire soul, but for that very reason and because, my dear reader, I had to make you equally inclined to accept the uncanny, which is no small matter, I was puzzled how to begin Nathaniel's story in a manner as inspiring, original and striking as possible. 'Once upon a time,' the beautiful beginning of every tale, was too tame. 'In the little provincial town of S____ lived' - was somewhat better, as it at least prepared for the climax. Or should I dart at once, medias in res, with "'Go to the devil," cried the student Nathaniel with rage and horror in his wild looks, when the barometer-dealer, Giuseppe Coppola . . .?' - I had indeed already written this down, when I fancied that I could detect something ludicrous in the wild looks of the student Nathaniel, whereas the story is not comical at all. No form of language suggested itself to my mind which seemed to reflect ever in the slightest degree the coloring of the internal picture. I resolved that I would not begin it at all. So take, gentle reader, the three letters. which friend Lothaire was good enough to give me, as the sketch of the picture which I shall endeavor to color more and more brightly as I proceed with my narrative. Perhaps, like a good portrait-painter, I may succeed in catching the outline in this way, so that you will realize it is a likeness even without knowing the original, and feel as if you had often seen the person with your own corporeal eyes. Perhaps, dear reader, you will then believe that nothing is stranger and madder than actual life; which the poet can only catch in the form of a dull reflection in a dimly polished mirror. To give you all the information that you will require for a start, we must supplement these letters with the news that shortly after the death of Nathaniel's father, Clara and Lothaire, the children of a distant relative, who had likewise died and left them orphans, were taken by Nathaniel's mother into her own home. Clara and Nathaniel formed a strong attachment for each other; and no one in the world having any objection to make, they were betrothed when Nathaniel left the place to pursue his studies in G___ . And there he is, according to his last letter, attending the lectures of the celebrated professor of physics, Spalanzani. Now, I could proceed in my story with confidence, but at this moment Clara's picture stands so plainly before me that I cannot turn away; as indeed was always the case when she gazed at me with one of her lovely smiles. Clara could not by any means be reckoned beautiful, that was the opinion of all who are by their calling competent judges of beauty. Architects, nevertheless, praised the exact symmetry of her frame, and painters considered her neck, shoulders and bosom almost too chastely formed; but then they all fell in love with her wondrous hair and coloring, comparing her to the Magdalen in Battoni's picture at Dresden. One of them, a most fantastical and singular fellow, compared Clara's eyes to a lake by Ruysdael, in which the pure azure of a cloudless sky, the wood and flowery field, the whole cheerful life of the rich landscape are reflected. Poets and composers went still further. 'What is a lake what is a mirror!' said they. 'Can we look upon the girl without wondrous, heavenly music flowing towards us from her glances, to penetrate our inmost soul so that all there is awakened and stirred? If we don't sing well then, there is not much in us, as we shall learn from the delicate smile which plays on Clara's lips, when we presume to pipe up before her with something intended to pass for a song, although it is only a confused jumble of notes.' So it was. Clara had the vivid fancy of a cheerful, unembarrassed child; a deep, tender, feminine disposition; an acute, clever understanding. Misty dreamers had not a chance with her; since, though she did not talk - talking would have been altogether repugnant to her silent nature - her bright glance and her firm ironical smile would say to them: 'Good friends, how can you imagine that I shall take your fleeting shadowy images for real shapes imbued with life and motion ?' On this account Clara was censured by many as cold, unfeeling and prosaic; while others, who understood life to its clear depths, greatly loved the feeling, acute, childlike girl; but none so much as Nathaniel, whose perception in art and science was clear and strong. Clara was attached to her lover with all her heart, and when he parted from her the first cloud passed over her life. With what delight, therefore, did she rush into his arms when, as he had promised in his last letter to Lothaire, he actually returned to his native town and entered his mother's room! Nathaniel's expectations were completely fulfilled; for directly he saw Clara he thought neither of the Advocate Coppelius nor of her 'sensible' letter. All gloomy forebodings had gone. However, Nathaniel was quite right, when he wrote to his friend Lothaire that the form of the repulsive barometer-dealer, Coppola, had had a most evil effect on his life. All felt, even in the first days, that Nathaniel had undergone a complete change in his whole being. He sank into a gloomy reverie, and behaved in a strange manner that had never been known in him before. Everything, his whole life, had become to him a dream and a foreboding, and he was always saying that man, although he might think himself free, only served for the cruel sport of dark powers These he said it was vain to resist; man must patiently resign himself to his fate. He even went so far as to say that it is foolish to think that we do anything in art and science according to our own independent will; for the inspiration which alone enables us to produce anything does not proceed from within ourselves, but is the effect of a higher principle without. To the clear-headed Clara this mysticism was in the highest degree repugnant, but contradiction appeared to be useless. Only when Nathaniel proved that Coppelius was the evil principle, which had seized him at the moment when he was listening behind the curtain, and that this repugnant principle would in some horrible manner disturb the happiness of their life, Clara grew very serious, and said: 'Yes, Nathaniel, you are right. Coppelius is an evil, hostile principle; he can produce terrible effects, like a diabolical power that has come visibly into life; but only if you will not banish him from your mind and thoughts. So long as you believe in him, he really exists and exerts his influence; his power lies only in your belief.' Quite indignant that Clara did not admit the demon's existence outside his own mind, Nathaniel would then come out with all the mystical doctrine of devils and powers of evil. But Clara would break off peevishly by introducing some indifferent matter, to the no small annoyance of Nathaniel. He thought that such deep secrets were closed to cold, unreceptive minds, without being clearly aware that he was counting Clara among these subordinate natures; and therefore he constantly endeavored to initiate her into the mysteries. In the morning, when Clara was getting breakfast ready, he stood by her, reading out of all sorts of mystical books till she cried: 'But dear Nathaniel, suppose I blame you as the evil principle that has a hostile effect upon my coffee? For if, to please you, I drop everything and look in your eyes while you read, my coffee will overflow into the fire, and none of you will get any breakfast.' Nathaniel closed the book at once and hurried indignantly to his chamber. Once he had a remarkable forte for graceful, lively tales, which he wrote down, and to which Clara listened with the greatest delight; now his creations were gloomy, incomprehensible and formless, so that although, out of compassion, Clara did not say so, he plainly felt how little she was interested. Nothing was more unbearable to Clara than tediousness; her looks and words expressed mental drowsiness which she could not overcome. Nathaniel's productions were, indeed, very tedious. His indignation at Clara's cold, prosaic disposition constantly increased; and Clara could not overcome her dislike of Nathaniel's dark, gloomy, boring mysticism, so that they became mentally more and more estranged without either of them perceiving it. The shape of the ugly Coppelius, as Nathaniel himself was forced to confess, was growing dimmer in his fancy, and it often cost him some pains to draw him with sufficient color in his stories, where he figured as the dread bogy of ill omen. It occurred to him, however, in the end to make his gloomy foreboding, that Coppelius would destroy his happiness, the subject of a poem. He represented himself and Clara as united by true love, but occasionally threatened by a black hand, which appeared to dart into their lives, to snatch away some new joy just as it was born. Finally, as they were standing at the altar, the hideous Coppelius appeared and touched Clara's lovely eyes. They flashed into Nathaniel's heart, like bleeding sparks, scorching and burning, as Coppelius caught him, and flung him into a flaming, fiery circle, which flew round with the swiftness of a storm, carrying him along with it, amid its roaring. The roar is like that of the hurricane, when it fiercely lashes the foaming waves, which rise up, like black giants with white heads, for the furious combat. But through the wild tumult he hears Clara's voice: 'Can't you see me then? Coppelius has deceived you. Those, indeed, were not my eyes which so burned in your breast - they were glowing drops of your own heart's blood. I have my eyes still - only look at them!' Nathaniel reflects: 'That is Clara, and I am hers for ever!' Then it seems to him as though this thought has forcibly entered the fiery circle, which stands still, while the noise dully ceases in the dark abyss. Nathaniel looks into Clara's eyes, but it is death that looks kindly upon him from her eyes While Nathaniel composed this poem, he was very calm and collected; he polished and improved every line, and having subjected himself to the fetters of metre, he did not rest till all was correct and melodious. When at last he had finished and read the poem aloud to himself, a wild horror seized him. 'Whose horrible voice is that?' he cried out. Soon, however, the whole appeared to him a very successful work, and he felt that it must rouse Clara's cold temperament, although he did not clearly consider why Clara was to be excited, nor what purpose it would serve to torment her with frightful pictures threatening a horrible fate, destructive to their love. Both of them - that is to say, Nathaniel and Clara - were sitting in his mother's little garden, Clara very cheerful, because Nathaniel had not teased her with his dreams and his forebodings during the three days in which he had been writing his poem. He was even talking cheerfully, as in the old days, about pleasant matters, which caused Clara to remark: 'Now for the first time I have you again! Don't you see that we have driven the ugly Coppelius away?' Not till then did it strike Nathaniel that he had in his pocket the poem, which he had intended to read. He at once drew the sheets out and began, while Clara, expecting something tedious as usual, resigned herself and began quietly to knit. But as the dark cloud rose ever blacker and blacker, she let the stocking fall and looked him full in the face. He was carried irresistibly along by his poem, an internal fire deeply reddened his cheeks, tears flowed from his eyes. At last, when he had concluded, he groaned in a state of utter exhaustion and, catching Clara's hand, sighed forth, as if melted into the most inconsolable grief: 'Oh Clara! - Clara!' Clara pressed him gently to her bosom, and said softly, but very solemnly and sincerely: 'Nathaniel, dearest Nathaniel, do throw that mad, senseless, insane stuff into the fire!' Upon this Nathaniel sprang up enraged and, thrusting Clara from him, cried: 'Oh, inanimate, accursed automaton!' With which he ran off; Clara, deeply offended, shed bitter tears, and sobbed aloud: 'Ah, he has never loved me, for he does not understand me.' Lothaire entered the arbor; Clara was obliged to tell him all that had occurred. He loved his sister with all his soul, and every word of her complaint fell like a spark of fire into his heart, so that the indignation which he had long harbored against the visionary Nathaniel now broke out into the wildest rage. He ran to Nathaniel and reproached him for his senseless conduce towards his beloved sister in hard words, to which the infuriated Nathaniel retorted in the same style. The appellation of 'fantastical, mad fool,' was answered by that of 'miserable commonplace fellow.' A duel was inevitable. They agreed on the following morning, according to the local student custom, to fight with sharp rapiers on the far side of the garden. Silently and gloomily they slunk about. Clara had overheard the violent dispute and, seeing the fencing-master bring the rapiers at dawn, guessed what was to occur. Having reached the place of combat, Lothaire and Nathaniel had in gloomy silence flung off their coats, and with the lust of battle in their flaming eyes were about to fall upon one another, when Clara rushed through the garden door, crying aloud between her sobs: 'You wild cruel men! Strike me down before you attack each other. For how can I live on if my lover murders my brother, or my brother murders my lover.' Lothaire lowered his weapon, and looked in silence on the ground; but in Nathaniel's heart, amid the most poignant sorrow, there revived all his love for the beautiful Clara, which he had felt in the prime of his happy youth. The weapon fell from his hand, he threw himself at Clara's feet. 'Can you ever forgive me, my only - my beloved Clara? Can you forgive me, my dear brother, Lothaire?' Lothaire was touched by the deep contrition of his friend; all three embraced in reconciliation amid a thousand tears, and vowed eternal love and fidelity. Nathaniel felt as though a heavy and oppressive burden had been rolled away, as though by resisting the dark power that held him fast he had saved his whole being, which had been threatened with annihilation. Three happy days he passed with his dear friends, and then went to G___ , where he intended to stay a year, and then to return to his native town for ever. All that referred to Coppelius was kept a secret from his mother. For it was well known that she could not think of him without terror since she, as well as Nathaniel, held him guilty of causing her husband's death.   How surprised was Nathaniel when, proceeding to his lodging, he saw that the whole house was burned down, and that only the bare walls stood up amid the ashes. However, although fire had broken out in the laboratory of the apothecary who lived on the ground-floor, and had therefore consumed the house from top to bottom, some bold active friends had succeeded in entering Nathaniel's room in the upper story in time to save his books, manuscripts and instruments. They carried all safe and sound into another house, where they took a room, to which Nathaniel moved at once. He did not think it at all remarkable that he now lodged opposite to Professor Spalanzani; neither did it appear singular when he perceived that his window looked straight into the room where Olympia often sat alone, so that he could plainly recognize her figure, although the features of her face were indistinct and confused. At last it struck him that Olympia often remained for hours in that attitude in which he had once seen her through the glass door, sitting at a little table without any occupation, and that she was plainly enough looking over at him with an unvarying gaze. He was forced to confess that he had never seen a more lovely form but, with Clara in his heart, the stiff Olympia was perfectly indifferent to him. Occasionally, to be sure, he gave a transient look over his textbook at the beautiful statue, but that was all. He was just writing to Clara, when he heard a light tap at the door; it stopped as he answered, and the repulsive face of Coppola peeped in. Nathaniel's heart trembled within him, but remembering what Spalanzani had told him about his compatriot Coppola, and also the firm promise he had made to Clara with respect to the Sandman Coppelius, he felt ashamed of his childish fear and, collecting himself with all his might, said as softly and civilly as possible: 'I do not want a barometer, my good friend; pray go.' Upon this, Coppola advanced a good way into the room, his wide mouth distorted into a hideous laugh, and his little eyes darting fire from beneath their long grey lashes: 'Eh, eh - no barometer - no barometer?' he said in a hoarse voice, 'I have pretty eyes too - pretty eyes!' 'Madman!' cried Nathaniel in horror. 'How can you have eyes? Eyes?' But Coppola had already put his barometer aside and plunged his hand into his wide coat-pocket, whence he drew lorgnettes and spectacles, which he placed upon the table. 'There - there - spectacles on the nose, those are my eyes - pretty eyes!' he gabbled, drawing out more and more spectacles, until the whole table began to glisten and sparkle in the most extraordinary manner. A thousand eyes stared and quivered, their gaze fixed upon Nathaniel; yet he could not look away from the table, where Coppola kept laying down still more and more spectacles, and all those flaming eyes leapt in wilder and wilder confusion, shooting their blood red light into Nathaniel's heart. At last, overwhelmed with horror, he shrieked out: 'Stop, stop, you terrify me!' and seized Coppola by the arm, as he searched his pockets to bring out still more spectacles, although the whole table was already covered. Coppola gently extricated himself with a hoarse repulsive laugh; and with the words: 'Ah, nothing for you - but here are pretty glasses!' collected all the spectacles, packed them away, and from the breast-pocket of his coat drew forth a number of telescopes large and small. As soon as the spectacles were removed Nathaniel felt quite easy and, thinking of Clara, perceived that the hideous phantom was but the creature of his own mind, that this Coppola was an honest optician and could not possibly be the accursed double of Coppelius. Moreover, in all the glasses which Coppola now placed on the table, there was nothing remarkable, or at least nothing so uncanny as in the spectacles; and to set matters right Nathaniel resolved to make a purchase. He took up a little, very neatly constructed pocket telescope, and looked through the window to try it. Never in his life had he met a glass which brought objects so clearly and sharply before his eyes. Involuntarily he looked into Spalanzani's room; Olympia was sitting as usual before the little table, with her arms laid upon it, and her hands folded. For the first time he could see the wondrous beauty in the shape of her face; only her eyes seemed to him singularly still and dead. Nevertheless, as he looked more keenly through the glass, it seemed to him as if moist moonbeams were rising in Olympia's eyes. It was as if the power of seeing were being kindled for the first time; her glances flashed with constantly increasing life. As if spellbound, Nathaniel reclined against the window, meditating on the charming Olympia. A humming and scraping aroused him as if from a dream. Coppola was standing behind him: 'Tre zecchini - three ducats!' He had quite forgotten the optician, and quickly paid him what he asked. 'Is it not so ? A pretty glass - a pretty glass ?' asked Coppola, in his hoarse, repulsive voice, and with his malicious smile. 'Yes - yes,' replied Nathaniel peevishly; 'Good-bye, friend.' Coppola left the room, but not without casting many strange glances at Nathaniel. He heard him laugh loudly on the stairs. 'Ah,' thought Nathaniel, 'he is laughing at me because, no doubt, I have paid him too much for this little glass.' While he softly uttered these words, it seemed as if a deep and lugubrious sigh were sounding fearfully through the room; and his breath was stopped by inward anguish. He perceived, however, that it was himself that had sighed. 'Clara is right,' he said to himself, 'in taking me for a senseless dreamer, but it is pure madness - nay, more than madness, that the stupid thought of having paid Coppola too much for the glass still pains me so strangely. I cannot see the cause.' He now sat down to finish his letter to Clara; but a glance through the window assured him that Olympia was still sitting there, and he instantly sprang up, as if impelled by an irresistible power, seized Coppola's glass, and could not tear himself away from the seductive sight of Olympia till his friend and brother Sigismund called him to go to Professor Spalanzani's lecture. The curtain was drawn close before the fatal room, and he could see Olympia no longer, nor could he upon the next day or the next, although he scarcely ever left his window and constantly looked through Coppola's glass. On the third day the windows were completely covered. In utter despair, filled with a longing and a burning desire, he ran out of the town-gate. Olympia's form floated before him in the air, stepped forth from the bushes, and peeped at him with large beaming eyes from the clear brook. Clara's image had completely vanished from his mind; he thought of nothing but Olympia, and complained aloud in a murmuring voice: 'Ah, noble, sublime star of my love, have you only risen upon me to vanish immediately, and leave me in dark hopeless night?' As he returned to his lodging, however, he perceived a great bustle in Spalanzani's house. The doors were wide open, all sorts of utensils were being carried in, the windows of the first floor were being taken out, maid-servants were going about sweeping and dusting with great hairbrooms, and carpenters and upholsterers were knocking and hammering within. Nathaniel remained standing in the street in a state of perfect wonder, when Sigismund came up to him laughing, and said: 'Now, what do you say to our old Spalanzani?' Nathaniel assured him that he could say nothing because he knew nothing about the professor, but on the contrary perceived with astonishment the mad proceedings in a house otherwise so quiet and gloomy. He then learnt from Sigismund that Spalanzani intended to give a grand party on the following day - a concert and ball - and that half the university was invited. It was generally reported that Spalanzani, who had so long kept his daughter most scrupulously from every human eye, would now let her appear for the first time. Nathaniel found a card of invitation, and with heart beating high went at the appointed hour to the professor's, where the coaches were already arriving and the lights shining in the decorated rooms. The company was numerous and brilliant. Olympia appeared dressed with great richness and taste. Her beautifully shaped face and her figure roused general admiration. The somewhat strange arch of her back and the wasp-like thinness of her waist seemed to be produced by too tight lacing. In her step and deportment there was something measured and stiff, which struck many as unpleasant, but it was ascribed to the constraint produced by the company. The concert began. Olympia played the harpsichord with great dexterity, and sang a virtuoso piece, with a voice like the sound of a glass bell, clear and almost piercing. Nathaniel was quite enraptured; he stood in the back row, and could not perfectly recognize Olympia's features in the dazzling light. Therefore, quite unnoticed, he took out Coppola's glass and looked towards the fair creature. Ah! then he saw with what a longing glance she gazed towards him, and how every note of her song plainly sprang from that loving glance, whose fire penetrated his inmost soul. Her accomplished roulades seemed to Nathaniel the exultation of a mind transfigured by love, and when at last, after the cadence, the long trill sounded shrilly through the room, he felt as if clutched by burning arms. He could restrain himself no longer, but with mingled pain and rapture shouted out, 'Olympia!' Everyone looked at him, and many laughed. The organist of the cathedral made a gloomier face than usual, and simply said: 'Well, well.' The concert had finished, the ball began. 'To dance with her - with her!' That was the aim of all Nathaniel's desire, of all his efforts; but how to gain courage to ask her, the queen of the ball? Nevertheless - he himself did not know how it happened - no sooner had the dancing begun than he was standing close to Olympia, who had not yet been asked to dance. Scarcely able to stammer out a few words, he had seized her hand. Olympia's hand was as cold as ice; he felt a horrible deathly chill thrilling through him. He looked into her eyes, which beamed back full of love and desire, and at the same time it seemed as though her pulse began to beat and her life's blood to flow into her cold hand. And in the soul of Nathaniel the joy of love rose still higher; he clasped the beautiful Olympia, and with her flew through the dance. He thought that his dancing was usually correct as to time, but the peculiarly steady rhythm with which Olympia moved, and which often put him completely out, soon showed him that his time was most defective. However, he would dance with no other lady, and would have murdered anyone who approached Olympia for the purpose of asking her. But this only happened twice, and to his astonishment Olympia remained seated until the next dance, when he lost no time in making her rise again. Had he been able to see any other object besides the fair Olympia, all sorts of unfortunate quarrels would have been inevitable. For the quiet, scarcely suppressed laughter which arose among the young people in every corner was manifestly directed towards Olympia, whom they followed with very curious glances - one could not tell why. Heated by the dance and by the wine, of which he had freely partaken, Nathaniel had laid aside all his ordinary reserve. He sat by Olympia with her hand in his and, in a high state of inspiration, told her his passion, in words which neither he nor Olympia understood. Yet perhaps she did; for she looked steadfastly into his face and sighed several times, 'Ah, ah!' Upon this, Nathaniel said, 'Oh splendid, heavenly lady! Ray from the promised land of love - deep soul in whom all my being is reflected !' with much more stuff of the like kind. But Olympia merely went on sighing, 'Ah - ah!' Professor Spalanzani occasionally passed the happy pair, and smiled on them with a look of singular satisfaction. To Nathaniel, although he felt in quite another world, it seemed suddenly as though Professor Spalanzani's face was growing considerably darker, and when he looked around he perceived, to his no small horror, that the last two candles in the empty room had burned down to their sockets, and were just going out. The music and dancing had ceased long ago. 'Parting - parting!' he cried in wild despair; he kissed Olympia's hand, he bent towards her mouth, when his glowing lips were met by lips cold as ice! Just as when he had touched her cold hand, he felt himself overcome by horror; the legend of the dead bride darted suddenly through his mind, but Olympia pressed him fast, and her lips seemed to spring to life at his kiss. Professor Spalanzani strode through the empty hall, his steps caused a hollow echo, and his figure, round which a flickering shadow played, had a fearful, spectral appearance. 'Do you love me, do you love me, Olympia? Only one word! Do you love me?' whispered Nathaniel; but as she rose Olympia only sighed, 'Ah - ah!' 'Yes, my gracious, my beautiful star of love,' said Nathaniel, 'you have risen upon me, and you will shine, for ever lighting my inmost soul.' 'Ah - ah!' replied Olympia, as she departed. Nathaniel followed her; they both stood before the professor. 'You have had a very animated conversation with my daughter,' said he, smiling; 'So, dear Herr Nathaniel, if you have any pleasure in talking with a silly girl, your visits shall be welcome.' Nathaniel departed with a whole heaven beaming in his heart. The next day Spalanzani's party was the general subject of conversation. Notwithstanding that the professor had made every effort to appear splendid, the wags had all sorts of incongruities and oddities to talk about. They were particularly hard upon the dumb, stiff Olympia whom, in spite of her beautiful exterior, they considered to be completely stupid, and they were delighted to find in her stupidity the reason why Spalanzani had kept her so long concealed. Nathaniel did not hear this without secret anger. Nevertheless he held his peace. 'For,' thought he, 'is it worth while convincing these fellows that it is their own stupidity that prevents their recognizing Olympia's deep, noble mind?' One day Sigismund said to him: 'Be kind enough, brother, to tell me how a sensible fellow like you could possibly lose your head over that wax face, over that wooden doll up there?' Nathaniel was about to fly out in a passion, but he quickly recollected himself and retorted: 'Tell me, Sigismund, how it is that Olympia's heavenly charms could escape your active and intelligent eyes, which generally perceive things so clearly? But, for that very reason, Heaven be thanked, I have not you for my rival; otherwise, one of us must have fallen a bleeding corpse!' Sigismund plainly perceived his friend's condition. So he skillfully gave the conversation a turn and, after observing that in love-affairs there was no disputing about the object, added: 'Nevertheless, it is strange that many of us think much the same about Olympia. To us - pray do not take it ill, brother she appears singularly stiff and soulless. Her shape is well proportioned - so is her face - that is true! She might pass for beautiful if her glance were not so utterly without a ray of life - without the power of vision. Her pace is strangely regular, every movement seems to depend on some wound-up clockwork. Her playing and her singing keep the same unpleasantly correct and spiritless time as a musical box, and the same may be said of her dancing. We find your Olympia quite uncanny, and prefer to have nothing to do with her. She seems to act like a living being, and yet has some strange peculiarity of her own.' Nathaniel did not completely yield to the bitter feeling which these words of Sigismund's roused in him, but mastered his indignation, and merely said with great earnestness, 'Olympia may appear uncanny to you, cold, prosaic man. Only the poetical mind is sensitive to its like in others. To me alone was the love in her glances revealed, and it has pierced my mind and all my thought; only in the love of Olympia do I discover my real self. It may not suit you that she does not indulge in idle chit-chat like other shallow minds. She utters few words, it is true, but these few words appear as genuine hieroglyphics of the inner world, full of love and deep knowledge of the spiritual life, and contemplation of the eternal beyond. But you have no sense for all this, and my words are wasted on you.' 'God preserve you, brother,' said Sigismund very mildly almost sorrowfully. 'But you seem to me to be in an evil way. You may depend upon me, if all - no, no, I will not say anything further.' All of a sudden it struck Nathaniel that the cold, prosaic Sigismund meant very well towards him; he therefore shook his proffered hand very heartily. Nathaniel had totally forgotten the very existence of Clara, whom he had once loved; his mother, Lothaire - all had vanished from his memory; he lived only for Olympia, with whom he sat for hours every day, uttering strange fantastical stuff about his love, about the sympathy that glowed to life, about the affinity of souls, to all of which Olympia listened with great devotion. From the very bottom of his desk he drew out all that he had ever written. Poems, fantasies, visions, romances, tales - this stock was daily increased by all sorts of extravagant sonnets, stanzas and canzoni, and he read them all tirelessly to Olympia for hours on end. Never had he known such an admirable listener. She neither embroidered nor knitted, she never looked out of the window, she fed no favorite bird, she played neither with lapdog nor pet cat, she did not twist a slip of paper or anything else in her hand, she was not obliged to suppress a yawn by a gentle forced cough. In short, she sat for hours, looking straight into her lover's eyes, without stirring, and her glance became more and more lively and animated Only when Nathaniel rose at last, and kissed her hand and her lips did she say, 'Ah, ah!' to which she added: 'Good night, dearest.' 'Oh deep, noble mind!' cried Nathaniel in his own room, 'you, you alone, dear one, fully under

Michelle Vandepas is a best-selling author, TEDx and Keynote speaker and workshop and retreat leader attracting clients who know they want to dig deeper into or do more with their lives and businesses. She works with those who need a bigger audience, have a message to share, and know that now is the time. For Michelle, it’s not about who you are, but what you’re here to do. Her online courses, live mastermind programs, and VIP retreats have attracted thousands of people who now understand how to “BE” in their DO-ing, clear about their PURPOSE and filled with the SPARK of life. MENTIONED IN THE SHOW: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron GUEST LINKS - MICHELLE VANDEPAS TheSpark.love The SPARK Facebook GroupPurpose: The Alignment Guide Free Gifts from Michelle HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT INTRO Hey, thanks for listening to the Shift Your Spirits podcast. I’m your host Slade Roberson. For eleven years, I’ve been a professional intuitive and the author of the blog Shift Your Spirits, where I try to write about spirituality with fewer hearts and flowers than most New Age blather. I also mentor emerging intuitives, psychics, and healers in a program called Automatic Intuition. Today, I’m sharing a conversation with Michelle Vandepas about aligning with your purpose. And, of course, as always, there’s an oracle segment at the end of the show. So be thinking about a question or a concern you have. Hold it in your mind, and I’ll come back on, after the final links and credits, and leave you with that extra message. And to tell you the truth, I am personally really looking forward to what that message is going to be! You may not realize this, but I use them for myself. It’s Friday, October 13, 2017 as I record this, and it feels a bit like the sky is falling. We’ve got wild fires in Northern California, people starting to die in Puerto Rico from drinking water out of creeks and ditches, going weeks without power or cell service… and millions of us in the US are about to lose our healthcare coverage. I really don’t know how much to address current events on the podcast, because the majority of you are listening from the future. Thousands of you. I want the content to be evergreen—meaning it can speak to you at whatever point in time you are listening. There is great power in the synchronicity of when you receive these messages. And even if I try to be super current with events in the present, they’re going to be a week behind, at best. So much changes, day to day... So, if I seem like I’m saying too little, not saying enough, or seeming to ignore something that happened this morning or went down in a big way yesterday, it’s just because recording is a snapshot in time, but the messages transcend time, to come and find you in your now. I am attempting to make content that has that ability. I am admittedly dancing around this. Awkwardly. If you have any input about how you’d like me to handle timely events, I would love to hear your suggestions. Shoot me an email. If you’re fine with my making these episodes entirely timeless, email me and let me know that too. Before I forget, I want to say a quick thank you to Merrie Kisch, my newest supporter on Patreon. And also thank you to Ann Luke-Montez who raised her pledge amount. I appreciate all of you who have pledged your support and I’m really excited to see the new names each week. It demonstrates that you’re enjoying the show and want it to continue. That’s very encouraging to me, thank you. Listen, I’ve lost a lot of people who are angry that I am communicating in audio. I have gone to great trouble to make most if not all the episodes available as a written transcript — today’s episode with Michelle about aligning with your purpose does indeed have a full transcript. For the record, there are eleven years worth of posts — hundreds if not thousands of articles — available on my site. Go to sladeroberson.com/archives There’s a search feature and tons to read. But I’m still getting emails from long-term followers who are disappointed. They don’t like the change. They want me to go back to short blog posts once a week. And you know, this platform has to grow and evolve. I needed to make this new and exciting and to breathe new life into Shift Your Spirits with this audio. Working with me is essentially talking to me, and I know from the feedback from those of you who love the show that it is authentically aligned with my voice. I’m telling you this because I want you to know that pledging your support on Patreon is one of the ways that you tell me to make this show for you and to ignore those who are sending me, well, hate mail for making this show. Some people do not like change. Change is the only thing in the world you can rely on. You gotta be a change surfer. You gotta learn to adapt and be flexible in all areas of life… But to wrap up this rant — it’s not just a “pledge drive” when I tell you about Patreon. It really literally is you saying “Slade, I love this podcast. I’m out here listening. I find the shows meaningful and helpful. Please keep sending me episodes." …I will. I plan to. Listeners who support the show on Patreon can access bonus Q&A episodes, where you guys send in questions, I record answers to them, and they go out to patrons of the show exclusively. I just released a bonus episode “How to Manifest a Relationship” as a tie-in to the show on soul mates. You guys who are supporters will find that download in the posts section on Patreon. You can edit your pledge amount at any time, like Ann did, if you decide you want to access the bonus audio. I’ll put a link in the show notes on how to do that. https://patreon.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/115002804683-How-do-I-edit-my-Pledge- To find out how you can become a patron, support my time in producing this show, and access the extra audio content, please go to patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Okay. Let’s get to this week’s interview. Purpose. It’s one of our favorite subjects to talk about. And I’ve found someone perfect for us to talk to. Michelle Vandepas. TRANSCRIPT of INTERVIEW Slade: So, by way of introduction, for those of you out there who may not have heard of Michelle Vandepas, Michelle, why don't you tell us who you are and what you do. Michelle: So... Wow. I am a - so that's a great question, right? I suddenly realize I don't know how to put myself in a box of who I am and what I do. So I'm an author. I write. I'm a coach. I'm a business coach. I'm a book publisher. I'm a TEDx speaker. Those are all my accomplishments. But really who I am is someone who is highly concerned about the energy in the world and how I believe when we all are connected to our authentic self, when we're on purpose, when we feel alive and we feel aligned with who we are, that we can help change the planet to be a better place. Slade: Well, you know, in the time that I've known you, and we were just chatting before we started recording, about how we've known each other for probably ten years. And in that time, I've seen you do all the things that you're talking about. The TED talks, courses, workshops, masterminds, in a lot of areas that obviously are connected and make sense. But I'm wondering how did helping people align with their purpose become your purpose? How did you identify - how did you land here? Michelle: Yeah, good question. So what's really interesting is I've always been doing this in my business coaching, and back 20 years ago when I owned a business, a manufacturing business, it was a lot of coaching the employees and the staff members about how they could contribute the best in the work place. So I feel like I've always been coaching other people to be on Purpose. How I kind of came full circle and decided to devote the next few years of my life to helping people with it is I think when we're not feeling aligned with our own Purpose, everything else is just slightly off kilter or out of whack. So it's very difficult to run a business if you don't feel like you're doing what you're here to do. It's difficult to raise a family if you're always in stress about it and you don't feel aligned. So no matter where you are in your life, it comes back to understanding who you are at the core and then I know you relate to this. You write about Purpose all the time, Slade, so I think there's something fundamental that when we can accept who we are, know that we are here for a reason, that we can feel on Purpose with our lives, it helps everything else unfold. It helps all other areas of our life. So I think that's where I feel I can make the biggest difference. Slade: Okay. So Life Purpose. You hear those two words together a lot. It's a tricky thing to identify. I can tell you right now that this show will get tons of downloads just from that keyword or phrase in the title. I've seen it before. As you said, I do write about Purpose and speak to people about it and it's probably in 99% of the conversations I have with people when I do readings. So the thing is, back to the idea that it's a little tricky to identify. For a lot of people, it gets mixed up with creative passions, hobbies, jobs, career tracks, maybe it's a little of all of those things. Just tell me how do you define Purpose? Michelle: Yeah, I love this conversation. So the way I view Purpose is you're already living it. Everybody is already living it. Even if they don't know what it is. It is just something that is inside of us. And Purpose is how we express out into the world. In the very biggest picture, like the hugest picture, is how we express our love into the world. But that's difficult because love comes with so many romantic notions that it's hard to always wrap our brain around that. So let me give you an example. I like to work with archetypes when I'm talking about Purpose because I think it helps us relate a little bit easier. Most of us can relate to feeling like we're a teacher, we are a leader, we're a caregiver, we might have mom or dad energy, we might feel like we're a nurturer. These are energies. These are expressions of a way to give back or to live our life. But they don't have really anything to do with a vocation or a hobby or a job or a passion. So if you identify with, let's say, the caregiver archetype, you enjoy helping people, you like to nurture other people. You may or may not become a nurse or a hospice provider. You might be able to live that archetype through being a teacher or through being a barista or through blogging. That archetype can come through many many ways. And that's usually something that we're born with. That's an essence of our soul about how we express out into the world. If you don't feel identified with that archetype, if you don't feel like you're a caregiver, it's not going to be the first thing that is expressed out while you're out in your world. So to bring this back around, if you have a job in - let's just say you're a blogger, you will naturally tie into your gifts that you were born with, such as teacher or leader or inspirer or caregiver, through your writing, when you feel more connected with the archetype of your individual purpose. Does that make sense? Slade: Hmm.. oh yeah! Actually I really love this. I love the archetypes, and that's a good filter to view this from. Because it's sort of like an ingredient, like you said it's an essence, and you can put that essence in a lot of different places. Right? Like it sort of comes out of you no matter where we put you. If you're a nurturer, or a natural cheerleader, it doesn't really matter if you're literally on a sports team or you're just working in a bank. Michelle: That's right. Slade: It's gonna kind of express itself to the people around you, right? Michelle: Right. And where I see people get a little disrupt or feel disengaged with Purpose is when they're trying to chase it around their work. So if you know that you're a caregiver then you're suddenly like rolling your eyes and thinking, 'Ah, I gotta go be a nurse.' Well what you said is totally on point. That no, start with what you're already doing in your life and notice how caregiving shows up. Or notice how cheerleading shows up. When you start noticing what you're already doing in all areas of your life, you'll feel more connected. And as you start feeling more connected, then you're willing to express it more. You're willing - because then you have proof that yes, this is who I am, right? The world becomes our mirror and we go, 'Yes, I am a cheerleader.' This is awesome. People respond to this. And then we do more of it naturally. Slade: Hmm... So what else do you think people tend to kind of get wrong when they go looking for their Purpose? Like you said, when they go chasing it and they get off track, what's some other... 101 bungles... Michelle: Yeah. I'm the perfect poster child for this, right? We always teach what we learn, or we teach what we need to learn, whatever that saying is. So a great example is, I had a period of my life when I became very engaged with my artistic side of myself. And I loved painting, and doing all kinds of creative endeavors and I spent hours and hours... I had some luxury of time back then, and spent a lot of time developing my creative self and my artistic self and I went to workshops and I had some shows and I suddenly had this light bulb - wow this must be my Purpose. And so I decided, I set up shop, I set up my own art exhibits, I suddenly was investing in getting things framed and having to sell things and then I was asked to do a couple of commissions and I'm like, oh man, I hate this so much. It's like, my passion and my creative expression suddenly turned into a job. Because I had mistakenly thought my Purpose was related to my passion. And I can have a passion for art that isn't necessarily my Purpose. My Purpose is more about inspiration, teaching, leading, and I can do those things through my art, but the art itself was not my purpose. Slade: I'm actually kind of comforted to hear you say this because I live an entirely second life as a fiction author. So I have this, these two worlds, or two roles, and sometimes it just makes me uncomfortable trying to have to make them both be about the same thing. And I really just learn to kind of let them be two things and in my mind, my Purpose feels like it's related around Shift Your Spirits, it's what you know me for, it's very much what you do as well, inspiring, enabling, coaching, supporting people, teaching, telling stories. And then, you know, the other thing is an art. It is a passion and it's a hobby. It's also business but it doesn't have to be - everything doesn't have to be in one box, right? Michelle: Um hmm... let me ask you a question. In your fiction writing, do you feel as though you're bringing any of your inner Purpose like inspiring, and leading, and those things through any of your dialogue or your characters? I'm just curious. Could be yes or no. Slade: Yeah, I actually ask myself this question a lot because I feel like it's not so on the nose that I feel like my stories have to be inspirational reader's digest type fiction or something. Or like some - I don't write stories about people who are on a spiritual mission or anything like that. So I have asked myself this question and I think it's more about a deeper emotional kind of journey. The ability to give someone another life in another world to experience, which is so much of what I get out of reading fiction, and I think that there's a case to be made for story-telling being such a huge part of so many areas of what we do in the world whether it's ministry or teaching or just entertainment. Stories are big business and they're big soulful enterprises in and of themselves. So I think where I come down with it is I feel like my magic comes in the form of words. And I have always had a gift for storytelling and sometimes that includes hosting someone like you and creating a platform for you to tell a story. You know what I'm saying? Michelle: Yes, that's beautiful. Slade: Yeah and I can make a case that we're all storytellers and, I do tell some of my intuitive training students a lot that I think intuitives - storytellers make great intuitives. People who speak symbolic language have an ability to take that vocabulary into a lot of different vocations. So, again, not to get too much in the weeds about myself personally, but we're coming back to this idea that it's an essence that you already have and it's something that you can take into anywhere we drop you. Right? Like, ultimately if you're wiling to. Michelle: That's right. And I just want to circle back around with you because you also blog and you write and you've been doing this a long time and obviously these podcasts. So you have a gift with words and that writing and podcasting is just one way you're choosing to express that gift. You could choose to express that gift maybe in song writing, or maybe something that I haven't even thought of. Writing copy. You're just choosing to express your gift of a way with words in these platforms right now. Doesn't mean blogging suddenly is your Purpose. Slade: Right, yes. Exactly. And I have had periods where I was a song writer and I was a - I've done different kinds of artistic pursuits just like you were talking about. The difference between kind of your creativity and your passion and your art and then you can, you can or you can not choose to express that in combination with a Purpose or in combination with a job. I tell people all the time sometimes the greatest way to ruin your passion is to turn it into a business. Michelle: Yeah! Like my art! Exactly. Slade: So when I was thinking about the fact that I was going to be talking to you today and I thought, you know, this is an area of expertise for you, that you've gone even deeper in than I have, but I was trying to think of my listeners and kind of where they fall on this question. Because like I said, it's nearly always a component of any reading that I do. And I was trying to think of, how can I ask questions that the people listening would ask if they were sitting here in front of the microphone and I kind of identified - there's a few different people that are at different stages of asking themselves this question. So I wondered if you would indulge me and let me ask you kind of a question, there's kind of three different angles. And I wanted to ask for advice for each one of those people. Are you game for that? Michelle: I'm game! Slade: Okay! Michelle: Let's see where it goes! Slade: So, the first one is the person who has no clue what their Purpose is. They really feel like just the canvas is blank, and that's a very terrifying feeling. You know, the blank page and you don't, something's supposed to be written on there and you don't know what it is. So what do you say to that person who has no clue what their Purpose might be? Michelle: Yeah, great. So and this comes up a lot with the people I work with, who maybe their kids are now gone, or their job is over or they're retiring and they feel like, now what? But it can happen with people of all ages for a variety of reasons. And the first thing that I want to tell the listeners is really to reassure them that it really doesn't matter if you know your Purpose. It's like it doesn't matter if you can see the ocean. It's still there. Your Purpose is there. Now you may feel a little frustrated that you don't know what it is. You may feel disconnected to it. But it's there. It's inside of you. So I would encourage listeners who are in this space to just breathe in to the fact that they are alive on the planet, they have a Purpose even if they don't know what it is. And allow it. Allow the expression of their Purpose to be shown to them over some time. In my book it's a 28-day process of journalling and asking questions. But the first stage of that is to live with the affirmation that I am already living my Purpose. Slade: Okay. That's awesome. What do you say to the person who kind of already has a clue what it is, right? They know deep down in their heart what their Purpose is. They feel that calling but maybe they're in a state of fear or procrastination, you know, they're sitting in the cubicle at work and they're dissatisfied with what they're doing and they know what their heart wants to do or what they're being called to do in some way. What does she do next? How does she get started? Michelle: So first I would encourage not the DOING of it. And I would really encourage the BEING of it. Because I think what happens is we skip steps. We're like, 'Okay I know that I'm supposed to be out there speaking to the world.' Well speaking again is a doing. It's not a Purpose. So is the Purpose really that you would like to inspire people with the message? Is your Purpose that you feel like you're a leader, that you have a calling to change other people's lives through leading or through inspiration or - it's tricky because it's like you have a gift for speaking and that's the gift and that could be how your Purpose is done and expressed in the world but we gotta go first underneath that - what the BEING is. And so, I would encourage people who know deep inside that they're supposed to go speak, that comes up a lot with my clients. "I know I'm supposed to go speak." Be out there on stage. Be more visible. I'd encourage you first to tap into what is it that your call - what is it that calls that part of yourself? Are you feeling like you're here to lead? And then keep going into that energy and express it more and more in what you do right now. So if you are called to lead, do that in the job you have right now. Do that with your family. Do that as you move about the world. And as you're deepening that confidence in yourself, it's amazing how opportunities start opening up to allow you to do more of how you want to express that feeling in the world. Slade: Okay. These are good. I'm having some epiphanies around this stuff. So I've got one more. It's a little challenging. And I can actually think of a couple people that I know that are peers that are out there who might be listening, who - okay, what do you say to the person who knows what his Purpose is, maybe he's been doing it for awhile, who's been working at it, and then suddenly he's not seeing the "success" with it that he had expectations for? What's going on with that person, when they feel like they're, they know what they're supposed to do, but for some reason it's not taking off the way that they think, "Oh! It's my Purpose. I'm doing it, therefore the wings should just spread open and I should fly." What do you say to the person when that's not happening? Michelle: So, Purpose is being, and Purpose is not success-driven. So Purpose is back to how do you express your love in the world? How do you express yourself out into the world? If you were then taking that and let's just pretend that you're here to inspire other people and your chosen way to do that is to become a public speaker, then you have to learn the business of speaking, you have to learn the nuances, you have to understand how to book gigs, how to write contracts, you have to then go learn the pieces of running that business if that's choosing, if that's how you're going to choose to express your Purpose of inspiration out into the world. But again, and then I do business coaching as well, so I can speak to this. Your Purpose is how you're expressing in the world in all areas of your life and so if you're putting, 'OMG, my Purpose is all wrapped up in this business,' you're going to have heartache and downfall because business has natural ups and down cycles. And so you've got to come back and be grounded in who you are. I want to come back for a minute because I think there's a piece here that we've tiptoed around a little bit, Slade. And that is, people feel scared of their Purpose. Like if Slade, you know, think back ten or twelve years ago and if you suddenly knew that you were here to inspire people about Purpose and how they can become intuitive, you may not know, have known how to do that. All those years ago. And there might have been some fear for you. Slade: Oh yes. Michelle: And so... Right? It's all of us. And so if we can go into what is it that we are expressing and continue to do that every day we strengthen the muscle of accepting who we are. If someone were to tell me that I'd be on the telesummits with thousands of people and coaching some fairly well-known names out there, ten years ago, I would've been terrified. And go, 'No, I don't have those skills. That's not me. I don't have that confidence. I don't have that knowingness,' right? And so we start by giving ourselves either small steps or big steps, whatever it is, but confirmation that we're on the right track. Because that builds that muscle that gives us our own acceptance. I think when we don't accept the gifts that we were born with, it's really difficult to go be - feel successful, but feeling successful is a life, not just a business. It's how do we feel in our life? Do we feel fulfilled? So I think I want to come back around to - it's the feeling of being fulfilled that I think we chase, and money seems to represent that and business success represents that. But let's come back to how are we expressing, how are we ful - being fulfilled, how are we helping, how are we serving, and then maybe it's business coaching that this person really needs. Slade: Great advice. Thank you so much. So tell us about Spark. What is this? Michelle: So I think you know I've played a lot with this idea of Purpose, passion, fulfillment creativity, and the word that sums all of that up for me is Spark. And so I've created a system for helping us all keep that spark alive inside. I don't know how you feel, but you know we're just on the other side of another mass shooting here in the United States, we've had hurricanes, there's fires, there's wars all over the world. It feels like it's pretty difficult sometimes to stay grounded that we can even make a difference with all these world problems. And so, getting in touch with our own spark is the beginning of feeling alive and then feeling like we can help in whatever way that looks like to us. Big or small, helping the local food community, helping a stray cat, helping stop genocide and wars, wherever it is that you personally feel like you're called to help. It starts with connecting with that spark inside of us. Because when that flame starts dying out, it's really difficult to even just get off the couch, right? We become glued to the news, we get into overwhelm. So the system I've created are always different areas where we learn to connect in with our own spark so that we can express more fully our authentic selves. And, like I say in this book, Purpose book, which is the first step of the system, how can we not be authentic, right? We are authentic. We just don't always recognize what that is. And then we try to cover it up, or we have our baggage or we eat too much or we do all kinds of self sabotaging things because we don't really know who we are. And so this system takes us through some self-reflection. I'm not here to tell anybody who they are. It's all inside. We just have to uncover it. We have to recognize it. We have to love who we are, you know? It's that thing that we gotta love ourselves first. And it's true, but we have to learn who we are so that we can love ourselves. Slade: So the book part component of this that you're talking about, it's a new book you have out called Purpose: The Alignment Guide : 28 Days of Inspiration, Reflection, Intention and Creative Expression. Now this sounds more like a program than just a book. So explain to us how this book works. Michelle: Yeah, it is. It's 28 days. Each day, wel, each week there's an affirmation. The very first one is 'I am already living my Purpose.' And there's coloring exercises ,activities, writing prompts, and the book takes you through my thoughts about why I believe we're all already living our Purpose. Just a short chapter on that. And then it encourages you to reflect on how you are living your Purpose day to day. There are daily affirmations, daily questions, the book takes you through how does the earth energy affect you? I'm finding it very interesting right now with things like fires and hurricanes and so forth to not be affected by that, and I think a lot of us are affected by intense weather or even just a big snowstorm. And so, how does that affect your day to day living, and does that make you go more internal or does that cause you to be angry in the world? And just having a place to write down and explore these feelings helps you understand and learn more of who you really are. Who we are at the core. So the book is a 28-day exploration with writing prompts for every day. Journaling and loads of cool coloring pages and there's also a coloring book that you can download at no cost or purchase to go along with this with all the really cool images. And the images are a little edgy. They're not like flowers and butterflies. They're what I call kind of galactic images with weird eyes and the sun going sideways because I think that's how I feel right now. Like everything just a little big sideways. And so I want to acknowledge that and express that. And the Purpose is just the first workbook in a 9-month system. So there's 8 more books coming out, each one exactly the same format. So it's a 9-month program that I have on helping you connect back in with who you are. Slade: So why is it 28 days specificially? Michelle: Yeah, so there's a couple of answers to that. It is a nice system of every week you look at a new affirmation and in this case, a new area of Purpose. And then we all need a day or two or three to just rest. So it's not like a month-long system. You can start this in the middle of the month, you can start it in the middle of the week, you just work through the days and then you, at the end of the 28 days, it's a moon cycle, it's a natural cycle. You just rest, let it all integrate, allow your subconscious to process everything you've been thorough. It's like savassana in yoga. You just incorpirate everything that you have learned and thought about and doodled and processed over the last four weeks. And then after a few more days, you can start again on the next book. Day 1 and go through another 28-day process. Slade: Very cool. It actually would be fun to do that with the moon cycle if you wanted. I'm a bit of a witch so I like to do everything like ritualized around the moon calendar. It just, it gives it a certain kind of structure that feels, I don't know, it feels empowering, so I like to play with that. That's very cool. Michelle: Yes! Yeah! Slade: So, not to compare this to anything in any way other than a compliment, but I really, as I was looking at the material, it appealed to me in much the same way that the artist way appealed to me. I think that there's a certain type of person who may have done that years ago back in the day who would really be turned on by your book. Thank you! Thank you. I actually mention Julia Cameron in my dedication. She's a huge mentor of mine. I have interviewed her a couple of times. I've been to a live workshop of hers. I bow down to her as one of the creative goddesses of the world, so thank you, I take that as a huge compliment. Slade: Oh, that's very cool. We share her as a hero for sure. Yeah, so I definitely think that you can make a connection with the type of work that you're doing and so if there's anybody who - because I know once you've done something before, maybe you don't really want to go back through that process again, but this would be something new, and it's a little bit shifted of course, around this idea of aligning with Purpose, but the experiential part of it feels similar. In an exciting kind of way. Have you had any ideas about doing like a group around it? Like a Facebook group or something? Michelle: Yes! So - thank you for asking. Yes, and I have one going right now. So theSpark.love group on Facebook. You can come and join for free. No charge. There are people uploading their pictures and their doodling and I answer questions in there, and so thespark.love is also my website. That's the name of the group on Facebook. So just come join and then obviously I offer paid classes and I have a live retreat coming up in May, so obviously I'm doing this also as part of my own coaching business, but everybody come and join at least for free so we can get to know each other and I can help you through the process. And then if there's a next step, happy to talk to you about that. Slade: Oh that's very cool. I am a big believer in the social power of doing things in groups. If I have the opportunity to take something in a class environment I always go for that because I can accomplish so much more when I have interaction with other people around it. I'm a big believer in that so basically you're saying somebody can go and sign up for thespark.love Facebook group and the only thing that they would really require would be the book, which is not a huge investment, if they wanted to really participate in this and plug in with this whole concept, right? Michelle: That's right. $16.95 on Amazon, and nothing else. Just connect in the group because there's other people that are having conversations about Purpose and that's always a cool thing. Slade: Well I'll definitely pull all your links so anybody who is listeining can either go to my blog or they can go direclty to the podcast feed and just click on those. And go and sign up. You also have a free course that people can download on your webiste, correct? Michelle: I do. There's a Purpose course on my website, there's the coloring book, there's a couple of meditations. The website is again, thespark.love because it's how we express our spark as love out into the world. That's the biggest expression of who we are. And so, yes, I have all kinds of free gifts. I have a downloadable course. Come get your gifts, thank you! Thank you for this promotion, yeah. I'm so good at promoting other people but we're all like that, right? Thank you. Slade: Yeah, well there's some very specific places to jump and plug in to what you're doing and it doesn't cost anything other than your interest, you know? So it's a very powerful and easy thing to promote. I do want to ask you before we wrap up the conversation. One of the things that I really like to ask those of you who've been around working in this space, for several years now. Is there anything that you feel is a message that's kind of missing from the conversation on personal development or something that needs to be brought forward a little bit? Michelle: Yeah, good question. So I am so over self-improvement. Like, there was a time in my life when I'm like, I wanted to get my hands on everything around self-improvement and personal development. These days I think it's - the conversation at least that I like to have is, we don't have to improve anything. We can choose to explore our gifts and develop them if we want to. We can always learn more things. But it's really about what, uncovering what's already there. It's really about going inside rather than looking outside and the more I go deeper in this, the more I know that to be true for at least myself and many of the people I work with is, how can we really uncover who we are rather than looking outside for answers? And so, in this book, even though I'm here having this conversation with you, it all comes back to what is true for the individual, not what I'm saying, not what you're saying, not what my book says. These are all tools to help you explore more deeply what's true for you. Slade: I love that approach. Thank you for sharing that. And Michelle, thank you so much for coming on and taking the time and having a conversation with me around this topic. I know everybody's going to enjoy listening to it. Michelle: Slade, I love you. It's been an honor to connect with you over all these years and I'm looking forward to the next one. Thank you for having me. OUTRO Thanks again for listening to the Shift Your Spirits podcast. For show notes, links, transcripts and all the past episodes please visit shiftyourspirits.com You can subscribe in iTunes or Stitcher or whatever app you use to access podcasts. If you’d like to get an intuitive reading with me, or download a free ebook and meditation to help you connect with your guides please go to sladeroberson.com and if you’re interested in my professional intuitive training program, you can start the course for free by downloading the Attunement at automaticintuition.com BEFORE I GO I promised to leave you a message in answer to a question or a concern you may have. So take a moment to think about that — hold it in your mind or speak it out loud. I’ll pause for just a few seconds….right…now. 1…2…3…4 MESSAGE Have you seen or heard any owls lately? Any owl totems or symbols crossing your path. Owl energy is about the ability to see everything around you, to find the real truth in the shadows. This symbol can mean that someone around you is trying to throw you off or disguise his or her real intentions. Make sure you’re not lying to yourself right now. If you’re being delusional, wake up. Not facing the truth in one area of your life will block you from moving forward in any other area. Look into your darkness a little bit. That’s where you’ll find the way out. And I’ll talk to you later.

The classic Henry Sellers ("I MADE THE BBC") episode, Competition Time.Hopefully you'll laugh as much as the largely overshadowed character, Barty Dunne; we get the first appearance of Dick Byrne; how many times Mrs Doyle says 'Ah, go on!' (it's hard to keep count!); lepresy; Craggy Island Rehab Resort; Hans Zimmer (you'll hear why); Going for Gold; Stars in Their Eyes; Elvis Aaron Presley and lots more! Except the English Papers.Subscribe now to get a new episode every Sunday morning - just in time for Mass! Subscribe on iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/ecumencial-matters-father/id1116660897?mt=2) or search for Father Ted on your favourite podcast provider and leave a comment on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/EcumenicalMatters. Your browser does not support the audio element. Stray ObservationsHenry Sellers was played by Niall Buggy'Ah Go On' count: 25!Dick Byrne was played by Maurice O'DonoghueCraggy Island v Rugged Island is one of fiction's great place rivalries!We have a good look at director Declan Lowney's contribution to the show too (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Corrina's journey from dating guys to finding a wife...thanks to travel sickness! And of course the best food to help with travel sickness (in case you've already found your partner...)In addition to this story, at the end of this episode I'll share with you the best food for travel sickness (in case you've already found your wife or partner).OK enough hints from me, let's get on with the story.Our guest, Corrina Gordon-BarnesI am super excited to be joined here today for our story by Corrina Gordon-Barnes. Corrina is a Relationship Coach who’s committed to a world of happy couples and happy families. She teaches her clients how to be really good at relationships.So Corrina, welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I'm really excited to have you here today!Corrina: Thank you so much for inviting me to connect with you.Me: Oh well you're so welcome! I love your story and I really can't wait for us to share it with everybody.Corrina's story, starting with being boy madMe: Without further ado, the first question I wanted to ask you...and I've said a little bit about what you do now, but when you were small, or younger, how did you see your dream relationship one day? Did you have princess dreams or did you have a particular type of partner in mind before you actually met your life partner?Corrina: Well, I was boy mad.Me: Boy mad!Corrina: Boy mad, like going through my primary school years, I remember that I was the one in my class who learned about sex really early.I was the one who would get all these teenage magazines, even as a late primary school age kid, and I would be teaching my friends at school. “You can get pregnant the first time you have sex” and “be careful with your boyfriend”.Me: Oh my god!A relationship expert...in primary schoolCorrina: I was like this relationship expert, even at that age I was teaching my friends. Like “these are all the myths, don't do this, do this” and so I was kind of boy mad, I was relationship mad, and getting into my teens I remember with my friends we would literally kind of go out prowling the streets. We would walk along the high street in my town where I lived and we would be looking for boys and we would be kind of flirting and coy. There was always some boy that I had my eye on. Always some guy who had my attention, I would try and make sure I was in the same place as him so that he would see me...Me: Sounds familiar, yeah.So I was definitely, I definitely wanted boys. That was very clear to me.Me: And you got engaged to a boy at one stage, right?Corrina: Yeah, so I had one really long term relationship before I met who is now my partner, and we got engaged at age 17.Me: Wow!We were gonna get married and we were gonna have all these babies and we were gonna live in this particular kind of house and have this life... That was the path that I thought I was on at that age.Me: So then what happened to take you off that path?The path to self-discoveryCorrina: Well that relationship was not the right one, and so that ended 4 years later and I stayed then single for quite a while. You know, I was really wanting to find myself.So I went on this whole spiritual, personal growth journey. I read every book I could get, I did meditation, I went vegan... It had this whole kind of personal growth change in my life.Me: What do you think prompted that? Was it the end of that relationship that prompted that? I mean, what were your thoughts? Were you just like 'Oh I think I need to take care of myself more' or become a different person, or...?Corrina: I was in Australia and I was just there travelling for a year. And I met this guy – surprisingly enough – in a cafe, and he just said “Hey I go to this meditation course down the road, why don't you come along”.And so I went and that very first moment, that very first time in the room with that meditation teacher, she told me that I was a spiritual being. She said to me – to the whole group but I really heard this - “You are a spirit soul having this human experience, but you are a spiritual being”.And it was like someone had just told me who I was. Like “oh my gosh, that's who I am, this human life is how I get to journey and explore and have an adventure, but I'm a spiritual being”.The layers (or the clothes) fall awayMe: So did you have that as like an inner knowing, or how did you experience it? Because people experience those things in different ways, right? Some people experience a physical sensation of light, other people experience it as just an inner sense of knowing...Corrina: It was like all my clothes fell off.Me: (laughs) Um...I haven't heard that one before!Corrina: It was like this casing, this casing just fell off. I literally woke up the next morning and I was vegan, I went from a complete meat eater to being vegan overnight just like that, and I was just on this journey then to just explore and discover myself and get back to the essential nature of my being.It was like everything that wasn't true about me just kind of fell away over the coming months.Me: Wow. That's very cool!Corrina: Yeah, it was pretty cool. I felt much lighter, it was like clothes coming off. I was just light. I was much, much lighter, much more energized, much freer, much more joyful.Me: It's interesting that you say that for you, all your clothes coming off, like some people might associate that with being exposed, right? Being vulnerable. And for you, you associate that with being light. So that's really interesting.Corrina: And just free. I remember in Australia, those kind of days, weeks after that moment, it was like I was floating along the streets. I was so free, I was feeling so connected with people, like I had just woken up.On to Cambridge University...and a fated bus tripMe: Yeah. Wow! And so how did you get from there to Cambridge University?Corrina: Yeah, so I decided that I wanted to do teacher training so I came to Cambridge University and signed up for the English and Drama teacher training course here. And on that very first day in class, I was sat next to this woman called Sam. There was something about her that just immediately kind of, like something just...a light bulb went off or something just happened. It was like 'Huh, she's just come on my radar really strongly, why am I paying attention to her so much?'So she was really in my awareness and we were both in the same school together so we were both placed to do our teacher practice in the same school. And on the first day of teaching practice, I got onto the bus that would take us to our practice school and I got on and she was sitting in the front seat. Now I always need to sit in the front seat in a bus because I get travel sick. So I just went over to her...I'd already clocked her as someone who was on my radar, and I just said “Oh, are you OK if I join you in the front seat?” And she said “Yeah sure, I have to sit here because I get travel sick” and I said “Oh me too!”So we sat side by side and over the months to come we became best friends. Just absolutely clicked, became best friends, incredible support through the whole teaching practice.A brave declarationMe: And was there any like physical attraction at that stage? Or did that come later?Corrina: Immediately! Immediately, I was like 'Huh! What is this woman doing to me? What this? What is happening here? I just feel energized around her, she lights me up, I feel excited, I feel like the world is just kind of shinier...'Me: Wow!Corrina: Everything just felt brighter and more energized.Me: It sounds like a good, a good...I don't know, I mean, I've never like taken acid or anything but (laughs) it sounds like, you know, a positive drug experience without the drugs, right?Corrina: (laughs) Totally! Totally, a kind of 'switch-on, turn-on, I'm awake, I'm alive, oh my gosh, who are you' kind of thing.Me: Was it the same for her as well?Corrina: Well what was so funny was that over the months that then came, was that I basically told her (laughs). I just said “Basically I've realized that I'm just completely in love with you. Do you feel that too?”Me: Wow! That was so brave of you cause you were friends at that stage, right? Like best friends, you don't want to wreck your relationship with your best friend by taking the risk but you did!Corrina: I just did! And that's kind of, you know, the kind of continuity of the whole spiritual journey for me of just like I'm free. You know, I'm free. If I feel this thing, I have to follow my heart. I have to just blurt out like “I'm in love with you, I don't know if you feel the same way”. And to start out with, it wasn't something that she let herself feel straight away.Determined and keeping faithMe: So what did she say when you said this? When you blurted this out?Corrina: She said “You know, I feel really connected with you, I love you a lot as a friend, but it's not romantic for me”.Me: And how did that make you feel?Corrina: Oh, heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken. But also there was something... it was almost like inside I was going 'You just wait!' (laughs) 'You just wait. I know that you're the one for me, I'll just be patient, I'll just hang on'.Me: Oh wow! Other people though could have had quite a different reaction, right? I mean some people might have, I imagine anyway, some people might have just, you know, stayed in the heartbroken phase and then just walked away, right? And lost it.Corrina: No, I believed, I really had faith that this... There was a reason I was feeling this way, I couldn't ignore it, I couldn't shake it, I just kept believing in it and stayed consistently just loving her and being a good friend in the months where... You know, it took 3 months basically of us staying friends and me just loving her, and loving her, and loving her. And then just after Christmas we got together as a couple.And just before Christmas...Me: And what happened? So how did that happen? Like you're friends, it's been like you know 3 months, she knows how you feel, did she just all of a sudden like make a move? Or did she say something to you?Corrina: Well, I made the move. Again.Me: (laughs) Oh my god! So it's like 'OK I've already been kind of rejected once, let me have another go'. Right?Corrina: Exactly! (laughs) Or a few gos! So there was that initial conversation and then there was another conversation where I basically said – this was just before Christmas – I basically said “Are you sure?”Me: Oh my god!Corrina: “I still feel this thing...” and she again was like “No really, we're just friends”. So that was the second time and then third time lucky! I just made a move and I thought 'You know what? I'm just gonna take a risk again, I'm just gonna be bold. What's the worst that can happen? Rejection, right? What's the best that can happen? I can be with the love of my life'.Me: Oh my god – yeah but that was still just so...Right, OK. That was still just so brave. Once is already like super brave, right? Braver than most people. Twice is like oh my god, you know, three times you start to think OK, hmmm...Corrina: Yeah, and it worked! (laughs) Third time lucky and it was just after Christmas and that was now 13 years ago – 14 years ago.What was she thinking?Me: And so what did she, like...You made the move and what did she then say? Was she like 'oh I didn't know until you touched me' or was she like 'oh I realized it at the same time as you' or was she...Corrina: I think it was less of a thought thing. It was just, you know, when it happened then it just felt right. Like 'oh this is where I was meant to be, OK, got it'.Me: And that's what she felt too? Was that how she verbalised it to you?Corrina: Well and to give her credit here, so she's gay and I'm bi, right? So for a gay woman, if a bisexual woman says 'I'm in love with you', there's gonna be a sense of 'hmm, OK maybe you're just trying this out, maybe actually this is just a kind of short-term thing for you and really you're gonna want to be with guys'Me: Yeah, I've heard that, yeah.Corrina: So it's a real credit for her that for those months she was, you know, guarding her heart for that, because you don't know what's gonna happen, if that person declaring their love for you is gonna be constant. So I had to kind of prove that actually I meant it. When I said I loved her, I meant it and I was gonna be in it for the long haul.Me: So do you think that a part of her was not testing you, but kind of like unconsciously perhaps waiting? You know?Corrina: Yeah.Me: Oh OK, that makes a lot more sense. Cause in my mind I was imagining somebody who, you know, was neither gay nor bi and who maybe had, I don't know, only gone out with guys or something and so then for somebody like that it would be much more of a 180, right?Corrina: Yeah, no she's gay through and through.Me: Well, fortunately for you as it turns out, right? (laughs)How relevant is gender, anyway?Corrina: Well that's the thing for me as a bisexual woman. For me it's not about the fact that I like men and women, it's the fact that I like people and the gender is just irrelevant.And that's kind of part of what happened in that spiritual awakening moment in Australia. It was like all of the coverings, you know, whether it's our bodies or our personalities or any of that is kind of what covers the essence of us. And actually for me the essence of someone doesn't have a gender. So I fell in love with her like I might have thought or indeed fell in love with guys in the past because I just fall in love with the person, you know, that essence of the human beings behind all the trappings.Me: That's amazing because I feel the same way. It's kind of weird how that works, right? It's kind of like yeah, you feel the essence of the person. I mean I even had one guy say to me – this was like in a totally different context and we did not get together in the end but I do remember him saying to me at one point, I mean he wasn't the right person for me but he was kind of freaked out at one stage. Because he was like “It's like you want my soul!” and I was saying “It's not that I want your soul, it's that I see it!” I believe that I see it, right?And I think that you know, some people... I mean, credit to Sam as well because she's obviously a really strong person too in that, you know, some people would be freaked out by that, right? Some people would be like 'oh well...it's the real me here that's being...I don't know if I want to say exposed but seen, right? Some people...we use those trappings to cover stuff up, right? As we all know, so...That brings a level of intimacy that's probably quite cool I would imagine, right?Corrina: Yeah, and you know, don't get me wrong, I love that she's a woman as well. I love her long hair and her soft skin and her blue eyes, all the things that make her a woman as well I love. So it's not like I don't see those things, but that was never gonna be a filter, like I would only go for...The spectrum of sexualityMe: Yeah. I mean it's really interesting because I...for me, I'm sure, I would imagine perhaps for you as well, I see the whole homosexual/heterosexual thing as this big spectrum and I have a really good friend who...Well I do playback theater and one of my friends, she's in a playback theater troupe where they're all either bi or gay or whatever, and then we did a workshop at one point. They were inviting guest playbackers to go. And one of the exercises they did that was...I just thought it was really cool. They said 'put yourself...if stage left is like totally 100 percent gay and stage right is totally 100 percent heterosexual, put yourself on the spectrum, place yourself physically where you think you are'. And it was really cool to see people, you know, all along the stage, all at different points. I just thought that was very normal, right? Because we're all...for me, anyway, in my mind we're all spiritual beings and so as you say, there's no gender there, right?Corrina: And for some people there are. You know, that's the thing, people who are that kind of 100 percent on the spectrum, brilliant, they're really clear that they only want people of the opposite or the same sex. Yes, spectrum is beautiful.What Corrina does nowMe: Yeah, wow! So now I really want to know more then about how... (laughs)...how you went from, well, what you do now to help people with their relationships. Because obviously you have a lot more knowledge than when you were in primary school and I know you're helping people with a lot more than how to not get unwanted pregnancies and things! (laughs)Corrina: (laughs) Absolutely!Me: So what do you do now with people and how do you help them have these beautiful, deep relationships?Corrina: Yeah, and my work is around all relationships that are important. So it's...my clients, some of them it's really about their partner relationship but for others it's about their relationship with their mom or their daughter or their brother.For me, connection...it's a kind of cliche but connection is what we're hard wired for. We as human beings love to connect, we love to love people with our full hearts. But there are so many things that stop that from happening within us. We get resentful, we get frustrated, we get disappointed, we feel let down, we feel indignant, all of this.And I over the course of my own personal journey have found a very, very miraculous way of dealing with all those blocks. So it's the process of questioning your thoughts, questioning your stories, that block connection.An example of our made-up storiesSo let's say I'm with Sam and let's say she's saying something that sounds critical. My story in my head goes, 'she's criticizing me, she doesn't love me, she's being mean to me'. You know, 'I want her to be kind, I want her not to point out my flaws', all of that. That is all story. It's all mental. It's all...Me: Yes! It's all made up.Corrina: It's all made up! And we don't realize it, we think, 'no but this is true, she's criticizing me, this is what's happening'. And so what I am so blessed to have come into contact with a number of years ago is the process of questioning those thoughts. Just sitting with those thoughts and asking them, 'Is this true? Is this accurate, is this the correct interpretation of what's going on?' Not just is it true that that's what's going on, but is it true that I would be better off if it were happening differently?Me: OK...Corrina: Like am I sure? So let's say your loved one is truly critizing you. They're saying to you “you're a stupid, ugly, whatever, whatever”. Can I be sure that my happiness depends on them not saying that? Can I be sure that I can only feel good about myself and peaceful if they stop doing that? Because it sets up a very limited version of life if I'm always waiting for someone else to give me something, to give me what I think I need in order to be peaceful and happy. It's like I delay my peace and my happiness until other people and other circumstances arrange themselves in just the right way.Our rules...and our scriptsMe: Yeah, it's like our rules, right? Where we all have these rules about what has to happen for us to be happy and the more...the easier it is to be happy, then the happier we are, right?Corrina: Exactly, exactly. I talk about our scripts. It's like, I realized pretty early on with Sam that I had a script, that if she followed this script and she said and she did exactly what I, you know, expected her to do then I would feel happy, but if she went off script then I wouldn't be happy, I'd be pissed off. She really helped me see this, she said to me one day “Why don't you just give me your fucking script Corrina! Give me your script, tell me what I need to do”. And I was like “How dare you! This is just what you're meant to do, you're my wife, this is how you're meant to treat me”. Then it kind of dawned on me a few days later, like 'oh my gosh, my script is the source of all of my unhappiness. Every moment that I want her to be doing something other than what's reality, I am causing my own unhappiness'.Corrina's 'big work'Me: Right. So then your relationship was, I guess, far from...I don't want to say far from idyllic, but you had to work through some of this stuff in your relationship with Sam?Corrina: One hundred percent. I wouldn't be doing this work if I hadn't had to...if this hadn't been my big work. You know, so yes like I was completely besotted with her in the beginning, and we got together and it was blissful, and then all my stories started to kick in. 'Hmmm, well she's not this' and 'hmmm, she said that and that's not OK' and 'would I be better off with someone who did this' and you know, all those stories eroded what I had imagined would be this perfect relationship. So it's like I had to work on that, I had to take those stories and stop those stories from sabotaging this beautiful relationship that we had underneath all those stories.Me: Yeah. It's good that you managed to do that, thank goodness, right?Corrina: I mean, it saved my marriage. It saved my relationship.A daily practiceMe: And did it take a long time?Corrina: Yeah, it's a daily practice. It really is a daily practice, it's like if you want to be fit, like you've done today (laughs), you go to the gym, you go for a run, you do your yoga. You don't just be like 'oh I'll do it one time and then it's done'. If you want a healthy, thriving, fit relationship with anybody, whether it's your son or your dad or your sister, there's daily practice to do. There's daily work to do every time you get triggered, every time something gets in the way of you being totally, wholeheartedly connected with the human being in front of you, you've got something to look at there.Me: Yeah, but at least you can...I mean, what am I trying to say, there comes a time when you catch yourself, right? At least, you know, having done a certain amount of work, then you can get to the point where you see what's happening, right? As an observer almost and you can go 'OK hang on, I'm doing this again, this is my script'. Whereas at the beginning, you know, when people aren't even aware of their scripts, I imagine it takes them a little bit... well it depends on the person I guess, right? How much time it would take them to start to see and to start to implement I guess the tools that you give them, right?Corrina: Absolutely, yes, you're completely spot on.When you get triggeredAnd you know, now I'm at the point where I get triggered and it could be like anything, right? It could be I'm on Facebook and I see a message from someone and I feel like 'oh they should have, you know, complimented me rather than give me negative feedback on something'. Right? Instantly, 'oh! OK, there's a trigger! A button's gotten pushed'. And now I'm at the point where I'm like 'Oooh, good, what's here for me?'Me: I do the same thing, that's really funny! Yeah, I had something that happened the other day that made me so angry and then I'm like 'OK if this is making me this angry and, you know, the other 30 people in the room are not angry, they actually think it's quite cute...' (laughs)We all get triggered, even by 8-year old authorsI'll tell you what it was, it was quite funny. I was at this day workshop with an amazing speaker and there was this little girl, she's like 8 years old and she's written a book. Actually she's written 3 books, right?Corrina: Wow!Me: And it made me so annoyed! And I just thought...you know, not only envious, obviously envious, you know, 3 books at age 8, but also annoyed because, you know, her mom was there and I knew what it was. It brought up all the old scripts of, you know, stage mothers because I did theater before and so I had a good friend who had a stage mother who was just absolutely unbearable whereas, you know, my mom was the opposite.So I see what you mean, you get these reactions, right, that are completely irrational because the people around me were applauding her and they were like 'oh isn't that wonderful' and I was like inside going 'this is making me so angry!' But we all get triggered, don't we, right?Examples of tiny triggersCorrina: Oh, everyone. And it could be like the tiniest thing, that's what I always find fascinating. It could be just one line in an email. Or it could be just the way that your partner, you know, turns over in their sleep, just the tiniest little things. Often my clients say to me “Oh, you know, I can't bring this to you today, it's just so small” and I'm like “No, no, that's exactly what to bring!”. The fact that he put tofu in the stir fry rather than kidney beans, you know. There was something, there was some offense against you. So there you are with that 8 year old girl, that offense that she's committing against you in that moment that's kind of violating something is like, you know, 'she's further ahead than me' or 'she's achieved one of my life goals' or, you know...Me: Yeah, and she's 8 and I'm 55!Corrina: And she's 8! It's just to be so compassionate with ourselves that 'oh look, there's this part of me that feels in some way threatened or violated or hurt by this, let me just so lovingly look there and heal that part of myself'.Being compassionate with yourselfMe: Ah, yeah, that's a really key point there that you brought up so I just wanted to emphasize it, yeah. That being compassionate with that part of ourselves, right? Rather than being like, OK, you know, with that kind of...what's the word, forced smile on our faces, going 'Ah, another beautiful part of me to transform', you know (laughs), right? Right? And we can be quite hard on ourselves with that, right, and be like 'OK what's at the bottom of this!' and take a kind of like pickaxe to it. At least that's what I would do or could do rather than choosing to as you say, acknowledge with love that part of ourselves and treat it as part of, you know, part of the inner child or whatever you want to call it, that needs love and compassion. That's a really interesting point that we don't want to forget. Wow! That's very cool.How to work with CorrinaSo when you work with people, I would love to hear just a bit more about what the different ways are that you...Do people come to see you in an office, or do you do things online, or how does that work?Corrina: Yes, so right now it's one to one. There's a potential of me offering something else in the kind of group workshop, retreat way, but not for now. What I do is I do free videos, everyone can just watch a free video every week, all about relationship hotspots and how to move past them, and then if people feel inspired and really like they're wanting that support, they can have the one to one coaching. And for now that is by Skype or by phone, and I'm just starting to also offer that in person as well for people who I'm unable to physically meet with.Me: Yeah. That's really fantastic, well thank you so much. What I'll do is, I'll link to everything that you do in the show notes but where's the best place for people to look online to find out more about what you're doing and more about you and to get access to the videos and things?An online video library...and a 7 Day Relationship ChallengeCorrina: Yeah, so if they go to corrinagordonbarnes.com, I'll just spell that out, and if you go to the blog page that's where I've got all the videos and articles that have happened so far. So that's a really good place just to go, it's like settling into a library of relationship wisdom and gems, just settling in and watching some of the videos and just seeing if the approach makes sense to you.The right people for this work are people who watch a video and go 'oh my gosh, that makes so much sense!' And they apply that tip that I'm sharing and they come back and they say “Wow I had this incredible experience with my mom! Because I did the thing that you...” I do like challenges in the video so they're like “I did the challenge that you set and I had a completely different experience with my mom this week, thank you!”Me: That's brilliant!Corrina: It's so good, it's so satisfying. So on the blog page that's where people can look at all the videos so far. And on the homepage people can sign up for the free 7 Day Relationship Challenge.7 days to feel more connectedMe: That sounds intriguing for sure!Corrina: Yes! It's 7 days to feel more connected, that's the overarching focus. How can you feel more connected? That beautiful feeling of just wholehearted connection with the person in front of you, and I give a number of challenges that you can actually implement to help you feel that way.Me: That is really fantastic! Well, I mean yeah, because as you say, we're all starving for connection and I mean, we could do a whole episode just about the different ways people connect, right? Through food and smoking and alcohol, and, you know, apart from people, right?Corrina: Facebook!Me: Facebook! There's so many...it's a massive, massive topic but...so I wish we had more time! But thank you so much for being here to share your story, because I love your story and I love your journey and I really, really love what you're doing right now, so I'm really grateful that you took the time to share that with us, so thank you so much!Corrina: You're very welcome, thank you so much!A food to help with travel sicknessSo now I mentioned at the beginning of this episode that I'd share with you one of the best foods you can eat for help with travel sickness. And I think it will come as no surprise for most of you anyway to hear that that food is...ginger!Ginger has so many benefits it's ridiculous. Not only can it help with travel sickness, but it's also beneficial for other causes of nausea, like morning sickness, and it can help with pain relief as well.Why ginger is so helpfulSo this powerful little root contains loads of antioxidant and antiinflammatory compounds, including curcumin and capsaicin which are also found in turmeric which is another superfood. They're part of the same plant family, turmeric, ginger and cardamom.Ginger also contains a ton of vitamins and minerals, including calcium, potassium, magnesium, phosphorus, niacin, iron, zinc and folate. A big list, right?And ginger is a great way to warm us up, because it's a diaphoretic (that was my new word for today), which means that it heats the body from the inside out. So if you live in a cold climate for example, ginger can literally help warm you up inside. It also helps promote sweating, which is why it's so good to have ginger tea if you've got a cold and you need to sweat out some toxins.Ginger even helps with pain reliefBut did you know that ginger can also help with pain relief? Two examples are exercise-induced muscle pain (so if you work out, eat some ginger), as well as menstrual cramps. So the next time you're feeling crampy (I don't know if that's a word but I've just decided it is!), make yourself some strong ginger tea and see how you feel.Ginger can also help reduce inflammation, so scientists are looking to see if it can help with cancer, and particularly colon cancer. Ginger also is showing promise for helping treat that as well as inflammation caused by osteoarthritis.I'll link to an article in the show notes that has more information about ginger's many properties and benefits, it also includes links to the actual research in case you'd like to know more about that. And in addition I'll link to an article that has some overall tips for avoiding travel sickness, including using ginger.So how do you eat ginger?If you're feeling nauseous and you want instant relief, well, you can definitely try peeling the root and gnawing on a piece...although I haven't done that myself. Ginger's pretty strong stuff.What I do is I usually juice a small piece of ginger with some carrots and apples for a really zinging morning juice. It tastes really, really good. Or you can pop a piece into your blender with other veggies and maybe some fruit for a green smoothie or a soup to give it a bit of a zing. It also helps you use less salt because it's got a really strong flavor.Other people prefer to slice a few pieces into some very hot water and let it steep for a while with a slice or two of lemon to make ginger tea.And you can also grate ginger into soups, curries and other savory dishes. Or even just chop it finely and use it in stir-frys.I'll link in the show notes to some recipes that I've got in my 5-Minute Mains recipe ebook that use ginger too, such as my Green Thai Curry.One thing for sure that I definitely recommend is that you use fresh ginger root wherever possible, rather than powdered ginger or capsules. I say that because the fresh vegetable is so easy to use and it's always best I think to have the actual vegetable rather than some dried out version in a plastic capsule. But then again if capsules are all you have access to, better that than no ginger!If you do try something new with ginger, definitely share in the comments because I want to know!Have YOU got a story to share?Which brings us to the end of this week's story – and if you've got a true story to share (and you'd like to know what food could have saved the day in your situation), I'd love to hear from you!Got a question, or a comment?Got a question, or a comment? Pop a note below in the comments, that would be awesome. You can also subscribe to the podcast to listen 'on the go' in iTunes.I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you so much for being here with me to share in my Clean Food, Dirty Stories. Bye for now!RESOURCESLink to 5-Minute Mains and other recipe ebooks: https://rockingrawchef.com/5-minute-recipes/Article with nutritional information on ginger as well as links to scientific studies: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/265990.phpArticle with general tips to help with travel sickness: http://mentalfloss.com/article/78131/9-scientifically-proven-ways-prevent-motion-sicknessCorrina Gordon-Barnes is a Relationship Coach who’s committed to a world of happy couples and happy families. She teaches her clients how to be really good at relationships – how to love full-heartedly, let go of resentments, forgive, accept and live from power not victimhood. She lives in Cambridge, England with her wife, Sam.Corrina's website: http://corrinagordonbarnes.com Corrina's Feel More Connected: a FREE 7-day Relationship ChallengeCorrina on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube

Allan Bell: From Victim To Superhero http://learntruehealth.com/alan-bell Alan Bell is the author of Poisoned. It tells how a prosecutor turned his medical mystery into a crusade for environmental victims. I have a lot of guests who have stressed the negative effects of environmental toxins from chemicals to ordinary items such as make-up. People are getting sick and doctors are making them drink lots of medicines. "I was a prosecutor in South Florida in the 80s. That time, they were filming 'Miami Vice' and I was there. Suddenly I came down with really bizarre medical symptoms. I started getting a sore throat, my eyes started burning me, my lungs started burning," Alan Bell said. It progressed to the point where Alan Bell began feeling fatigue. Like flu that wouldn't go away. So he went to several doctors but they didn't know what was wrong. It became worse and Alan Bell was experiencing seizures. He went to the Mayo Clinic, Cleaveland Clinic and National Jewish Hospital among others. Finally one day, there was a physician at National Jewish Hospital in Colorado who told Bell he was poisoned based on blood test results. He flew back to South Florida and talked to his investigators and told them the doctors' findings. He instructed them to investigate what was causing his condition. "I went to another doctor in South Florida who specialized in environmental health. He told me the building I was working in is making me sick. I didn't believe him at first but when my investigators came back with results, they affirmed what this Florida doctor said. That was my 'Ah-ha!' moment," recalls Alan Bell. That doctor advised him to get out of South Florida and settle somewhere else far away. He referred Alan Bell to a support group that deals with people who are environmentally injured. "Hence, they relocated me to an 800 square foot bubble in the middle of the Arizona desert. So along with my wife and daughter, we went to Arizona, to that bubble in the middle of nowhere," recalls Alan. Inside the bubble was nothing. In addition to that, it was like a cold, steel cell. Consequently, Bell ended up in a wheelchair. And his health deteriorated. Soon, his wife couldn't handle the situation so she left and left their child with Alan. "I fought to stay alive for the sake of my daughter. All I had in the bubble was a phone, fax, pencil and paper. Hence, I began to use those tools to talk to the top scientists on the planet," said Bell. In my quest to regain health, Bell stumbled upon a Pandora's box. But he discovered that his plight was just the tip of the iceberg. The scientists Bell talked to said all human disease and premature deaths, boils down to two common denominators: 1. The genes you were born with. 2. The environment that you are exposed to. "More people get sick and die from environmental exposure than all those afflicted with AIDS, automobile accidents, war, and crime combined. This is the silent epidemic of the 20th century," Bell said. In addition to that, Bell tried to look for charities looking into this so he could donate money to them. But there was nobody who was focusing on saving the humans. "I spoke to health organizations. But they focused on their separate diseases. And they recognize that there is a huge environmental component to the separate disease that they look at. But none of them were focusing on how all of those diseases are inter-related to common environmental factors," said Bell. The Environmental Health Foundation "I started my own little charity inside my little bubble and called it The Environmental Health Foundation. At that time I was able to get the support of then Vice President Al Gore, Eugene Cernan (the last man to walk on the moon) as many more. In addition to that, we were able to raise money and donated it to research," shares Bell. "Then I called this one doctor who did a brain scan on me. He found out I had brain injury due to the chemical exposures. So he put me on a new medicine at the time, which is an anti-seizure medicine." Slowly but surely, Bell got well. It was amazing because, by that time, Bell was trapped in that bubble for 8 years. It took a while to be re-introduced to society. Lawyers Jan Schlichtmann (the lawyer portrayed in the movie A Civil Action) and Ed Masry (the lawyer portrayed in the movie Erin Brokovich) worked with Bell to look into this environmental case. Many victims were like me and Bell helped them. Bell was a victim, became a survivor, became a health advocate and legally helped other people. He has come full circle. Bells says, "That's what prompted me to write this book called Poisoned. So I could share my personal journey with everybody else. To alert them that you could modify your lifestyle and prevent this from happening to yourself and your family." Latest Statistics The alarming environmental statistics should wake us up. We can't afford to anymore put our head in the sand and ignore that our children are dying of cancer due to exposure to pollutants. Some research shows there are toxins that have contaminated placenta blood of the baby. Our children are literally being born toxic. Since 1950, more than 85,000 chemicals have been introduced into our environment. And few of them have been tested for their toxic effects on humans. We can't rely on our government to protect us and we can't rely on our doctors to cure us. It's up to you should protect yourself. "The only reason why I got sick from it is because it was a brand new building. They merely re-circulated the old air to save energy costs. I was too sick to sue them. By the time I got better the statute of limitations (4 years) are gone," shares Bell. But years later, when Bell walked into the building, he was fine. It was like a brand new car. The nice and new smell is toxic. But when a car is two years old, the smell dissipates. The toxins dissipate as well. Same thing with the building. Bell says the difference between now and then is, now they require new buildings to have at least 10% fresh air coming into the building. When he got sick, there was no such law. Lesson Learned "My book teaches you to be smart on what to buy. You don't have to give up anything. If you want to figure out how to live longer and healthier, by this book," said Bell. Alan Bell has devoted his life to helping victims who cannot fend for themselves. Despite overwhelming odds, his personal misfortune has turned into a benefit for others. Get Connected With Allan Bell! Official Website Facebook Twitter Instagram Linkedin YouTube Book by Allan Bell Poisoned The Links You Are Looking For: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Become A Health Coach Learn More About The Institute for Integrative Nutrition's Health Coaching Certification Program by checking out these four resources: 1) Integrative Nutrition's Curriculum Guide: http://geti.in/2cmUMxb 2) The IIN Curriculum Syllabus: http://geti.in/2miXTej 3) Module One of the IIN curriculum: http://geti.in/2cmWPl8 4) Get three free chapters of Joshua Rosenthal's book: http://geti.in/2cksU87 Watch my little video on how to become a Certified Health Coach! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDDnofnSldI ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If this episode made a difference in your life, please leave me a tip in the virtual tip jar by giving my podcast a great rating and review in iTunes! http://bit.ly/learntruehealth-itunes Thank you! 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  Not giving up when a bomb throws you a curveball, and a food for anxiety you can actually eat raw (if you want to) What you will learn how sometimes it's crucial not to take no for an answer, even from the police a great food for anxiety relief At the end of this episode I'll share with you one of the best foods you can eat for anxiety relief. It's a food that I bet you don't know that you can eat raw! On with the story Living in Paris, France So as with some of my previous episodes, this story takes place in Paris, France. In Paris I naively thought at the age of 24 that I could just move there and find work. I figured working wouldn't be a problem, despite the fact that at that time I couldn't speak the language and I didn't have a permit. My father and I had been to Paris before when I was 16, and I loved it so much that I'd vowed that one day I'd go back and be able to speak to the people there in their language. And I did wind up doing just that, including getting my resident card and eventually French nationality, but both involved a long hard road, to say the least. Becoming fluent in French was really easy compared to getting my resident card. Which brings me to today's story. Falling in love with a Frenchman After a year or two in Paris, I fell in love with a Frenchman (as you do). And if you've listened to previous episodes you'll know that he was also a) a hypnotist and b) a little crazy. Or at least a little vulnerable to religious sects. Not religious sex. I mean, I wish. Religious sex would have been better than nothing. Hmmm, that's definitely another story! Anyway, I was living with my ex-French husband whom I call Dave. (I keep forgetting, yes he is still French, but he's definitely not my husband any more. Actually I don't even know if he's still alive...but I certainly hope so). I don't use his real name to protect him in case he listens to these one day and he's like "How dare she plaster our life together all over the internet!" Which I doubt because I don't even know if he was left with a phone after the Scientologists got a hold of him. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Dave and I were happily living together until a) we got married so that I could get my resident card and b) we found the Scientologists. I talk about how we wandered into the Scientology trap in Episode 7 so I won't repeat that here. Married! Once we got married I was really relieved because I figured it was just a matter of time until I'd get my resident card and finally be able to go after any job I wanted. Up to that point I'd had to do all kinds of crazy jobs where people didn't ask about things like permits. Cash in hand type jobs are somehow not so sexy, or so well paid...except for the oldest profession in the world. And there was no way I was doing that! Although the transvestite prostitutes who lived near my apartment across from the Eiffel Tower always seemed happy enough...but that's another story. From the church to the police station As soon as I had our marriage papers (and while I was living with the crazy Italian who almost killed me which I talk about in Episode 3), I went to the police station to apply for my resident card. I was expecting that this would be a smooth process because one of my girlfriends got her card just a few months after she got married. (She actually married a felon so I don't know if that was such a great deal in the end, but that's another story which I talk about in Episode 4). At the police station I filled out all the papers. If you've ever lived in France, you will know that they love paperwork. They pretend not to, but they're just faking it. I mean, they ask you for SO many papers and if they don't have every single one of them, they won't do anything for you. So if an official tells you they don't enjoy their job, they are lying. Well, actually I don't think they enjoy their job but they do enjoy the power that comes from saying to someone 'Ah, you're missing your certificate of xyz' or 'I see you don't have your copy of blah blah blah bank account' or whatever. How to play nice with French officials Actually there's a game that you have to play when you deal with French officials, and this could come in handy for you if you find yourself trying to get any kind of paperwork processed. Free tip for you! Here's what you do. You have to pretend that the person in front of you has such a difficult job. So you have to say things like "Oh I know how difficult this is, you must be looking forward to your holiday" or some such nonsense. It's kind of expected I think, and if you don't do it you're clearly a foreigner and you deserve a hard time. I mean obviously you're a foreigner, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for a resident card, but you're a clueless foreigner who hasn't learned the rules, which is not good at all. So there you go. You'll be prepared, just in case. Anyway I knew all of this, so I went through all the usual phrases like "I'm sorry to disturb you, I know how busy you are." This is one of their favorite phrases by the way - and all in French of course, very important. It doesn't work if you do it in English because then you're worse than the clueless foreigner. You become the arrogant foreigner who thinks that everyone speaks English, and you will get nowhere. Ready to get my resident card... So having said all the right things, I was given an appointment to come back in 3 months' time to pick up my resident card. All I had to do was show up and I'd get it. I was ecstatic. I had waited over 2 years, and it was finally going to happen. At that time I had already left Dave and was living in a hovel with the crazy and dangerous Italian that I talk about in Episode 3. I went home and kept saying to myself, "I'm almost there. Not long now". Well. After a lot of waiting, the day finally came. It was a gorgeous September day, and I remember walking across the Pont Neuf which in case you don't know is one of Paris' beautiful bridges across the Seine. My appointment was in like 10 minutes, so I was hurrying because I didn't want to be late. Here comes the bomb Suddenly I started hearing sirens. They seemed to be coming from someplace ahead of me. Sure enough, once I'd crossed the bridge and I was within viewing distance of the central police station, I saw police vans everywhere. No-one could get anywhere near the station. I asked someone what was going on, and it turned out that a bomb had just gone off inside the police station. 20 minutes before my appointment. I sighed and thought "it's a good thing I wasn't early!" Needless to say, no-one got in that day. I later received a new appointment in the mail (there was no internet at that time so everything happened through snail mail), for 3 months later. The last thing I expected So I waited again - having by this time left the dangerous Italian and gone back to live in Dave's apartment - and I went off to my new appointment. I was very excited, thinking "Finally!" and I went up to the window. However, instead of getting my resident card, I was given a letter. And the letter said - I'll paraphrase it - "you have 30 days to leave the country". My heart dropped to my shoes. I couldn't believe it. I said to the woman "But I'm married! My husband's French!" and she just shrugged her shoulders. So as you can expect, I just broke down and started sobbing. I couldn't believe that after 2 and a half years, after marrying Dave, after becoming fluent in French and really loving Paris in the most visceral way possible, I was being told to leave. From sobbing down the phone to saying no Not knowing what else to do, I mean I felt like I could hardly walk I was so shocked, I went to a pay phone in the police station (there were no mobiles at this time) and I called Dave. I sobbed down the phone, telling him what the letter said. And I will always be grateful to Dave, no matter where he is now, for what he said next. He said (in French of course), "That's ridiculous. You march right back in there and you tell that woman that there's no way you're leaving, and you demand a solution." I'm realizing now as I say this that Dave showed way more strength in that moment than he had ever shown with the Scientologists...but that's another story. So I did. I went back to the woman and said just that. And what she said next really blew me away. It showed me how incredibly naïve I was, and how I really had a lot to learn in life. And from sad to furious She said offhandedly - as if she were talking about the weather or something - "Oh, that? That's just a form letter. We give it to everyone". I said "So I don't have to leave?" She shook her head. I asked incredulously, "Then why do you give it to everyone?" and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "Because some people leave". She then told me that the laws had changed because of the bomb, and that I now had to wait till I'd been married for a year. Then I could come back and get my resident card...and I didn't have to leave the country. Well I was furious. I mean, there were people with families who left the country because of that letter. Because they didn't have someone like Dave to tell them how to handle French officials. Because they didn't question what appeared to be the truth but was actually just a ploy to trick some people into leaving the country. I think I've been on the side of the underdog ever since. Anyway, in the end I did wait a year...and I did get my resident card. I celebrated, believe me! But I still almost didn't get it, because of the Scientologists. That's another story though, which I'll share with you in the next episode. A great food for anxiety relief So what food can help reduce anxiety? As I said, you may not know that you can eat this food raw. And I'm not saying you have to eat it raw, but you can if you want to. The food is...asparagus! Benefits of asparagus Asparagus is rich in folate, which is a really important B vitamin that converts to folic acid in the body. And folic acid is particularly good for helping your body produce and maintain new cells as well as having a healthy nervous system. But did you know that low levels of folic acid have been linked to both anxiety and depression? So if you're feeling stressed out or sad, asparagus can help. Some ideas for eating asparagus Now, how do you eat asparagus? Well, most people steam it or stir fry it, but you can also eat it raw if you want to. It's actually quite delicious in a salad, and I've found a great recipe for you along with other recipes for cooked asparagus if you prefer. I'll link to it in the shownotes below. So no more excuses for not eating asparagus, OK? Some of the recipes use parmesan, but if you don't eat animal products there's an easy fix. Just substitute the parmesan for some nutritional yeast (not Brewer's yeast, there's a difference). Or you can use one of my easy cheese recipes on my blog. Well! I hope you've enjoyed my latest story, and that you'll be digging into some delicious asparagus very soon. Have YOU got a story to share? If you've got a crazy, true story to share (and you'd like to know what food could have saved the day in your situation), I'd love to hear from you! Got a question, or a comment? Got a question, or a comment? Pop a note below in the comments, that would be awesome. You can also subscribe to the podcast to listen 'on the go' in iTunes, Stitcher or Tunein. I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you so much for being here with me to share in my Clean Food, Dirty Stories. Bye for now! RESOURCES Lots of asparagus recipes: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/may/25/10-best-recipes-asparagus My dairy-free cheese recipes: https://rockingrawchef.com/cheese-on-a-raw-food-diet/

Monica Kang knew early in life that she wanted to work in international affairs. Her upbringing in two countries compelled her to understand how people related to each other, and steered her towards her role working with the government. Monica worked for years in international affairs, and even though she loved her job, she still felt something was lacking. She saw that people weren't creatively fulfilled at their jobs and knew she wanted to help them. She knew she could fulfill that gap, so she started up Innovators Box. In this episode learn why you should think link an outsider, the importance of asking questions, and how self-awareness can improve your problem solving. Here are three things you can learn from Monica: Think Like an Outsider One of the things that has helped Monica build Innovators Box is the fact that she didn't have prior experience in business. Too often, when we are well versed in an industry, we have trouble thinking outside of the box. Instead of relying on tried and true advice, Monica was able to try new and innovative ideas. "The big part of the business element that has worked the most effectively, were the creative and new approaches that I took." That's why bringing in a fresh perspective into any industry can be helpful if you want to be different. When you don't know what's "right" and "wrong" you are able to think differently. So, the next time you want to bring creativity into your work, try looking at industries outside of your own. That curiosity can make a world of a difference. "It's critical to be willing to learn different domains because you're going to have that naive curiosity of wanting to understand and less fear of being judged because you really don't know." The Importance of Asking Questions Have you ever held back a question back you were afraid of looking dumb? Do you carefully consider seeking advice because you want people to think you are smart and have it all figured out? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you may want to reconsider the way you approach problems. Most successful people are not afraid to ask questions. In fact, they embrace it. Monica believes every business starts because someone was curious and asked a question. "Essentially all businesses started because of a challenge they wanted to solve and opportunities come out of it. Innovators are people who, when they see a problem, they see a challenge... and ask questions." Successful people are open minded and curious about the world around them. They are unafraid to ask questions. It is this trait that allows them to learn and grow. "When you start asking questions and have an open mind and you're willing to learn, you're permitting yourself to actually grow and expand your comfort zone, and always... find there is unlimited possibility." The Power of Self-Awareness One of the problems we all encounter is trying to disconnect from our digital lives. We are constantly bombarded with emails, text messages, and social media notifications, that it can be hard to detach ourselves from our screens. Monica believes this has affected the way we approach problems. They have gotten in the ways of responding when something goes wrong. "Sadly, we're so used to staring at screens... and along that point, we're so used to acting and responding when something happens, and not knowing what to do when something doesn't happen, that we forget to be actually thinking through what's happening and being fully aware." She believes that we need to take breaks and become more aware of our surroundings. Doing this will make us much more effective during challenging situations. "Notice all these details so that you are being more fully present and being aware. and when you do that more regularly, that really trickles down into everything else you do. And so when you do face challenging situations, instead of feeling like 'Ah, I don't know what to do,' you're like 'Hey, this is not great, what can I do? How do I feel about this? When do I want to tackle this?' And you start breaking it down." What can you do to bring presence into your daily life? Try taking a walk or a five minute break, and see how your thought process improves. "Just take a silent walk and let yourself go for a bit. And I think that initial practice of pausing and giving yourself space is important. That's would recommend the next time you're feeling this. And if you're feeling this right now, I recommend taking a five minute break. It's not going to change, make a difference, you actually feeling a little more rested and more centered is going to help you make the right decisions instead of you feeling stressed. And I think that's essential even as someone who's creative... who's trying to make important decisions." Read more shownotes from episode 62 with Monica Kang

This week on Love (and Revolution) Radio, Stephan Schwartz, editor of the daily Schwartz Report and author of the book, The Eight Laws of Change, explains how modern science and ancient wisdom are coming full circle . . . and why that's great news for everyone working for social change. Sign up for our weekly email: http://www.riverasun.com/love-and-revolution-radio/ About Our Guest: Stephan Schwartz is the author of Eight Laws of Change, the editor of the daily Schwartz Report, columnist for the journal Explore, and has spent over forty years exploring extraordinary human functioning, and how individuals and small groups can, and have, affected social change. Related Links: Stephan A. Schwartz http://www.stephanaschwartz.com/ Schwartz Report - Trends That Will Affect Your Future http://www.schwartzreport.net/ 8 Laws of Change by Stephan Schwartz http://www.amazon.com/Laws-Change-Personal-Social-Transformation/dp/1620554577/ Opening To The Infinite - Course With Stephan Schwartz http://www.glidewing.com/sas/opening_to_the_infinite-home.html Global Consciousness Project & Roger Nelson research http://global-mind.org/ Quantum Biology https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_biology Max Planck, Quantum Theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Planck The Great Turning http://www.paceebene.org/2016/04/22/on-earth-day-commit-to-the-great-turning/ Joanna Macy http://www.joannamacy.net/ David Korten https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Korten 337 Whales Breached In Chile http://www.collective-evolution.com/2016/03/22/337-dead-whales-in-chile-what-the-worst-case-of-mass-deaths-reveals-about-the-ocean/ Thomas Kuhn (coined the term paradigm) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Kuhn Barbara McClintock https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_McClintock The Axial Age https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axial_Age Quote from Emerson: "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance (1841). Music by: "Love and Revolution" by Diane Patterson and Spirit Radiowww.dianepatterson.org "Interlude" by Max TenRoMhttps://www.jamendo.com/track/1314632/interlude About Your Co-hosts: Sherri Mitchell (Penobscot) is an Indigenous rights attorney, writer and activist who melds traditional life-way teachings into spirit-based movements. Follow her at Sherri Mitchell – Wena’gamu’gwasit:https://www.facebook.com/sacredinstructions/timeline Rivera Sun is a novelist and nonviolent mischief-maker. She is the author of The Dandelion Insurrection, Billionaire Buddha, and Steam Drills, Treadmills, and Shooting Stars. She is also the social media coordinator and nonviolence trainer for Campaign Nonviolence and Pace e Bene. Her essays on social justice movements are syndicated on by PeaceVoice, and appear in Truthout and Popular Resistance.http://www.riverasun.com/

This week on Love (and Revolution) Radio, Stephan Schwartz, editor of the daily Schwartz Report and author of the book, The Eight Laws of Change, explains how modern science and ancient wisdom are coming full circle . . . and why that's great news for everyone working for social change. Sign up for our weekly email: http://www.riverasun.com/love-and-revolution-radio/ About Our Guest: Stephan Schwartz is the author of Eight Laws of Change, the editor of the daily Schwartz Report, columnist for the journal Explore, and has spent over forty years exploring extraordinary human functioning, and how individuals and small groups can, and have, affected social change. Related Links: Stephan A. Schwartz http://www.stephanaschwartz.com/ Schwartz Report - Trends That Will Affect Your Future http://www.schwartzreport.net/ 8 Laws of Change by Stephan Schwartz http://www.amazon.com/Laws-Change-Personal-Social-Transformation/dp/1620554577/ Opening To The Infinite - Course With Stephan Schwartz http://www.glidewing.com/sas/opening_to_the_infinite-home.html Global Consciousness Project & Roger Nelson research http://global-mind.org/ Quantum Biology https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_biology Max Planck, Quantum Theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Planck The Great Turning http://www.paceebene.org/2016/04/22/on-earth-day-commit-to-the-great-turning/ Joanna Macy http://www.joannamacy.net/ David Korten https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Korten 337 Whales Breached In Chile http://www.collective-evolution.com/2016/03/22/337-dead-whales-in-chile-what-the-worst-case-of-mass-deaths-reveals-about-the-ocean/ Thomas Kuhn (coined the term paradigm) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Kuhn Barbara McClintock https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_McClintock The Axial Age https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axial_Age Quote from Emerson: "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood." Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self Reliance (1841). Music by: "Love and Revolution" by Diane Patterson and Spirit Radio www.dianepatterson.org "Interlude" by Max TenRoM https://www.jamendo.com/track/1314632/interlude About Your Co-hosts: Sherri Mitchell (Penobscot) is an Indigenous rights attorney, writer and activist who melds traditional life-way teachings into spirit-based movements. Follow her at Sherri Mitchell – Wena’gamu’gwasit: https://www.facebook.com/sacredinstructions/timeline Rivera Sun is a novelist and nonviolent mischief-maker. She is the author of The Dandelion Insurrection, Billionaire Buddha, and Steam Drills, Treadmills, and Shooting Stars. She is also the social media coordinator and nonviolence trainer for Campaign Nonviolence and Pace e Bene. Her essays on social justice movements are syndicated on by PeaceVoice, and appear in Truthout and Popular Resistance. http://www.riverasun.com/

Talking Manpower speaks with Ms. Frances Rivera who is a Manpower Analyst assigned to the Office of the Assistant Chief of Staff for Installation Management about her career path and having a 'Ah-ha' Moment

Talking Manpower speaks with Ms. Frances Rivera who is a Manpower Analyst assigned to the Office of the Assistant Chief of Staff for Installation Management about her career path and having a 'Ah-ha' Moment

Marcia Bennett joins the Technology = Equality Community for episode #31 to share how to find a comfort zone for your product and execute your plan.  "The 'Ah- ha' moment for me, was when I finally accepted I was different. " ~Marcia Bennett Strategy: Take the time to self-educate on all aspects of entrepreneurship and the industry you are interested in. Focus on who to serve in the industry and what it is you are trying to solve.  Be sure to always ask what it is your potential clients may want.  Wisdom: Your mindset shift should begin before you embark on your entrepreneurial journey. The secret to Marcia's success is to pay attention to her intention, then implement and execute!  Wish: To design a marketing campaign to diversify her client base and reach out to the male population. Marcia would like the ability to teach the skills to those who are in an employer role to have a greater impact in the workplace. Useful Tools: --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/technology-equality/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/technology-equality/support

برنامه صوتي شماره ۵۶۵ گنج حضوراجرا: پرویز شهبازی ۱۳۹۴ تاریخ اجرا: ۲۰ جولای ۲۰۱۵ ـ ۳۰ تیر PDF ،تمامی اشعار این برنامه مولوی، دیوان شمس، غزل شمارهٔ ۶۴تو دیدی هیچ عاشق را که سیری بود ازین سودا؟!تو دیدی هیچ ماهی را که او شد سیر ازین دریا؟!تو دیدی هیچ نقشی را که از نقاش بگریزد؟!تو دیدی هیچ وامق را که عذرا خواهد از عذرا؟!بود عاشق فراق اندر چو اسمی خالی از معنیولی معنی چو معشوقی فراغت دارد از اسماتویی دریا منم ماهی، چنان دارم که می‌خواهیبکن رحمت بکن شاهی که از تو مانده‌ام تنهاایا شاهنشه قاهر(۱) چه قحط رحمتست آخر؟!دمی که تو نه‌ای حاضر گرفت آتش چنین بالااگر آتش تو را بیند چنان در گوشه بنشیندکز آتش هر که گل چیند دهد آتش گل رعناعذابست این جهان بی‌تو مبادا یک زمان بی‌توبه جان تو که جان بی‌تو شکنجه‌ست و بلا بر ماخیالت همچو سلطانی شد اندر دل خرامانیچنانک آید سلیمانی درون مسجد اقصیهزاران مشعله برشد همه مسجد منور شدبهشت و حوض کوثر شد پر از رضوان پر از حوراتعالی الله تعالی الله درون چرخ چندین مهپر از حورست این خرگه نهان از دیده اَعْمی(۲)زهی دلشاد مرغی کو مقامی یافت اندر عشقبه کوه قاف کی یابد مقام و جای جز عنقا(۳)؟!زهی عنقای ربانی(۴) شهنشه شمس تبریزیکه او شمسیست نی شرقی و نی غربی و نی در جامولوی، مثنوی، دفتر اول، بیت ۳۰جمله معشوق است و عاشق پرده‌ایزنده معشوق است و عاشق مرده‌ایمولوی، مثنوی، دفتر اول، بیت ۳۴۵۷اسم خواندی رو مسمی(۵) را بجومه به بالا دان نه اندر آب جوگر ز نام و حرف خواهی بگذریپاک کن خود را ز خود هین یکسریهمچو آهن ز آهنی بی رنگ شودر ریاضت آینه بی زنگ شوخویش را صافی کن از اوصاف خودتا ببینی ذات پاک صاف خودمولوی، مثنوی، دفتر سوم، بیت ۱۹۸۱سیر جسمانه رها کرد او کنونمی‌رود بی‌چون نهان در شکل چونمولوی، دیوان شمس، غزل شمارهٔ ۱۹۵۹هر که را جست او به رحمت وارهید از جست و جوهر که را گفت: « آن مایی » وارهید از ما و منآن لبی کانگشت خود لیسید روزی زان عسلوصف آن لب را چه گویم؟! کان نگنجد در دهنهر که صحرایی بود ایمن بود از زلزلههر که دریایی بود کی غم خورد از جامه کن؟!کی سلیمان را زیان شد گر شد او ماهی فروش؟!اهرمن گر ملک بستد اهرمن بد، اهرمنگر بشد انگشتری انگشت او انگشتریستپرده بود انگشتری کای چشم بد بر وی مزنچشم بد خود را خورد، خود ماه ما زان فارغستشمع کی بدنام شد گر نور او بستد لگنمولوی، مثنوی، دفتر اول، بیت ۳۵۷۹گر درین مُلکت(۶) بری باشی ز ریو(۷)خاتَم(۸) از دست تو نستاند سه دیوبعد از آن عالم بگیرد اسم تودو جهان محکوم تو چون جسم توور ز دستت دیو خاتم را بِبُردپادشاهی فوت شد بختت بِمُردبعد از آن یا حَسْرَتا شد یا عِبادبر شما محتوم تا یَوْمُ التَّناد*ور تو ريو خويشتن را منكرىاز ترازو و آینه کی جان بری؟ قرآن کریم، سوره زمر (۳۹)، آیه ۵۶أَنْ تَقُولَ نَفْسٌ يَا حَسْرَتَا عَلَىٰ مَا فَرَّطْتُ فِي جَنْبِ اللَّهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتُ لَمِنَ السَّاخِرِينَ.ترجمه فارسیتا كسى نگويد: «دريغا بر آن سستی که نسبت به خدا کردم؛ و از مسخره کنندگان بودم.»ترجمه انگلیسی"Lest the soul should (then) say: 'Ah! Woe is me!- In that I neglected (my duty) towards Allah, and was but among those who mocked!'-

برنامه صوتي شماره ۵۶۵ گنج حضوراجرا: پرویز شهبازی ۱۳۹۴ تاریخ اجرا: ۲۰ جولای ۲۰۱۵ ـ ۳۰ تیر PDF ،تمامی اشعار این برنامه مولوی، دیوان شمس، غزل شمارهٔ ۶۴تو دیدی هیچ عاشق را که سیری بود ازین سودا؟!تو دیدی هیچ ماهی را که او شد سیر ازین دریا؟!تو دیدی هیچ نقشی را که از نقاش بگریزد؟!تو دیدی هیچ وامق را که عذرا خواهد از عذرا؟!بود عاشق فراق اندر چو اسمی خالی از معنیولی معنی چو معشوقی فراغت دارد از اسماتویی دریا منم ماهی، چنان دارم که می‌خواهیبکن رحمت بکن شاهی که از تو مانده‌ام تنهاایا شاهنشه قاهر(۱) چه قحط رحمتست آخر؟!دمی که تو نه‌ای حاضر گرفت آتش چنین بالااگر آتش تو را بیند چنان در گوشه بنشیندکز آتش هر که گل چیند دهد آتش گل رعناعذابست این جهان بی‌تو مبادا یک زمان بی‌توبه جان تو که جان بی‌تو شکنجه‌ست و بلا بر ماخیالت همچو سلطانی شد اندر دل خرامانیچنانک آید سلیمانی درون مسجد اقصیهزاران مشعله برشد همه مسجد منور شدبهشت و حوض کوثر شد پر از رضوان پر از حوراتعالی الله تعالی الله درون چرخ چندین مهپر از حورست این خرگه نهان از دیده اَعْمی(۲)زهی دلشاد مرغی کو مقامی یافت اندر عشقبه کوه قاف کی یابد مقام و جای جز عنقا(۳)؟!زهی عنقای ربانی(۴) شهنشه شمس تبریزیکه او شمسیست نی شرقی و نی غربی و نی در جامولوی، مثنوی، دفتر اول، بیت ۳۰جمله معشوق است و عاشق پرده‌ایزنده معشوق است و عاشق مرده‌ایمولوی، مثنوی، دفتر اول، بیت ۳۴۵۷اسم خواندی رو مسمی(۵) را بجومه به بالا دان نه اندر آب جوگر ز نام و حرف خواهی بگذریپاک کن خود را ز خود هین یکسریهمچو آهن ز آهنی بی رنگ شودر ریاضت آینه بی زنگ شوخویش را صافی کن از اوصاف خودتا ببینی ذات پاک صاف خودمولوی، مثنوی، دفتر سوم، بیت ۱۹۸۱سیر جسمانه رها کرد او کنونمی‌رود بی‌چون نهان در شکل چونمولوی، دیوان شمس، غزل شمارهٔ ۱۹۵۹هر که را جست او به رحمت وارهید از جست و جوهر که را گفت: « آن مایی » وارهید از ما و منآن لبی کانگشت خود لیسید روزی زان عسلوصف آن لب را چه گویم؟! کان نگنجد در دهنهر که صحرایی بود ایمن بود از زلزلههر که دریایی بود کی غم خورد از جامه کن؟!کی سلیمان را زیان شد گر شد او ماهی فروش؟!اهرمن گر ملک بستد اهرمن بد، اهرمنگر بشد انگشتری انگشت او انگشتریستپرده بود انگشتری کای چشم بد بر وی مزنچشم بد خود را خورد، خود ماه ما زان فارغستشمع کی بدنام شد گر نور او بستد لگنمولوی، مثنوی، دفتر اول، بیت ۳۵۷۹گر درین مُلکت(۶) بری باشی ز ریو(۷)خاتَم(۸) از دست تو نستاند سه دیوبعد از آن عالم بگیرد اسم تودو جهان محکوم تو چون جسم توور ز دستت دیو خاتم را بِبُردپادشاهی فوت شد بختت بِمُردبعد از آن یا حَسْرَتا شد یا عِبادبر شما محتوم تا یَوْمُ التَّناد*ور تو ريو خويشتن را منكرىاز ترازو و آینه کی جان بری؟ قرآن کریم، سوره زمر (۳۹)، آیه ۵۶أَنْ تَقُولَ نَفْسٌ يَا حَسْرَتَا عَلَىٰ مَا فَرَّطْتُ فِي جَنْبِ اللَّهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتُ لَمِنَ السَّاخِرِينَ.ترجمه فارسیتا كسى نگويد: «دريغا بر آن سستی که نسبت به خدا کردم؛ و از مسخره کنندگان بودم.»ترجمه انگلیسی"Lest the soul should (then) say: 'Ah! Woe is me!- In that I neglected (my duty) towards Allah, and was but among those who mocked!'-

Are you authentic? Are you in integrity? Do you know yourself? Do you have 'Ah-ha' moments? But do you have the opposite moment? What is that, you ask? Listen in as Dov shares the moment beyond the 'Ah-ha' moment. Let's talk a bit about leadership transparency. Transparency means that the leader is open rather than covert, seen as not having secrets, is congruent in his or her speech and actions. Transparency naturally facilitates trust. Today’s leaders are all too often blatantly non-transparent, attempting to conceal and hide their true agendas. The good news (or bad news depending on what side of the fence you sit) is that we live in the age of the Internet, and it doesn’t take long for any of those cover-ups to be exposed. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Carrie Morey had an early introduction to the food world courtesy of her mother, caterer extraordinaire, Callie White. The client favorite – Callie’s unique country ham biscuits. So in 2005, when Carrie convinced her mother to postpone retirement and start Callie’s Charleston Biscuits, devoted biscuit fans couldn’t have been happier. With seven different varieties of biscuits and retailers all over the country, Carrie never dreamed that success would taste so good – buttery good that is. Carrie has succeeded in building a business that works with balancing a growing family and can be passed down through generations. What was once a biscuit legendary in South Carolina has now become a favorite across America. Callie's Biscuits has appeared on the NBC Today Show and The Food Network’s hit television show Unwrapped. Carrie was chosen as one of Martha Stewarts’s “Dreamers into Doers”.   On Today's show Carrie will share: - Biggest business mistake - The 'Ah ha' moment that led you to launching your business - Greatest business decision - Advice for aspiring entrepreneurs - Plus much more...

Today we are looking at a fascinating encounter Jesus had with an adulterous woman and a group of legalistic, self-righteous, rock throwing, religious leaders. Through this story, we learn that righteousness is not built on the foundation of law, but rather of grace. Our cities, schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods are filled with people who - like the adulterous woman - are broken, wounded, far from God, and living a life of sin. Do we have a responsibility to these people? Absolutely! Jesus prayed in John 17 "Father just as you have sent me into the world, I am sending them." Meaning you and me. The key question to consider in light of our text this morning is this: Will I go as an accuser, hands full of rocks? Or, will I go in the spirit and attitude of an advocate – full of grace and mercy? Questions For Discussion: 1. Were there any 'Ah-ha!' moments as you listened to the message? If so, what were they? Note: Depending on the amount of interaction this may be the only question your group will have time to discuss. If that's the case, I would suggest closing with question #8. 2. Read 1 John 2: 1-2 a. What is it that gives us the power to keep from sinning? b. On what basis is Jesus our advocate? 3. Read John 8:1-11 a. Jesus is establishing righteousness on the basis of grace, not the law. What does this mean? 4. What is your attitude towards the adulterous woman? Do you know people in your life who are like her? What is your attitude towards them? 5. In this story the Pharisees are 100% right and yet they are so wrong – what does this mean? 6. Have you ever struggled with the attitude of an accuser? 7. What does it mean for us to be an advocate for everybody in our city? 8. Read Colossians 6:4 - our speech is to be full of grace and seasoned with salt. What does this mean? 9. What difference will this discussion make in your life?

Today we are looking at a fascinating encounter Jesus had with an adulterous woman and a group of legalistic, self-righteous, rock throwing, religious leaders. Through this story, we learn that righteousness is not built on the foundation of law, but rather of grace. Our cities, schools, workplaces, and neighborhoods are filled with people who - like the adulterous woman - are broken, wounded, far from God, and living a life of sin. Do we have a responsibility to these people? Absolutely! Jesus prayed in John 17 "Father just as you have sent me into the world, I am sending them." Meaning you and me. The key question to consider in light of our text this morning is this: Will I go as an accuser, hands full of rocks? Or, will I go in the spirit and attitude of an advocate – full of grace and mercy? Questions For Discussion: 1. Were there any 'Ah-ha!' moments as you listened to the message? If so, what were they? Note: Depending on the amount of interaction this may be the only question your group will have time to discuss. If that's the case, I would suggest closing with question #8. 2. Read 1 John 2: 1-2 a. What is it that gives us the power to keep from sinning? b. On what basis is Jesus our advocate? 3. Read John 8:1-11 a. Jesus is establishing righteousness on the basis of grace, not the law. What does this mean? 4. What is your attitude towards the adulterous woman? Do you know people in your life who are like her? What is your attitude towards them? 5. In this story the Pharisees are 100% right and yet they are so wrong – what does this mean? 6. Have you ever struggled with the attitude of an accuser? 7. What does it mean for us to be an advocate for everybody in our city? 8. Read Colossians 6:4 - our speech is to be full of grace and seasoned with salt. What does this mean? 9. What difference will this discussion make in your life?

A Sick Day for Amos McGee by Philip C. Stead, illustrated by Erin E. Stead Amos McGee, a friendly zookeeper, always made time to visit his good friends: the elephant, the tortoise, the penguin, the rhinoceros, and the owl. But one day--'Ah-choo!'--he woke with the sniffles and the sneezes. Though he didn't make it into the zoo that day, he did receive some unexpected guests.   2011 Caldecott Award Winner Audience: Kids