Podcasts about audible membership

Remember to Subscribe to my youtube channel for this and other content: www.youtube.com/c/aborderprince   WARHAMMER 40K AUDIO: BLOOD AND FIRE BY AARON DEMBKSI-BOWDEN (HELSREACH SEQUEL) The follow up to Helsreach concerning Grimaldus and his investigations of the fate of the Celestrial Lions Chapter at the hands of the Inquisition. Excellent story exploring the Imperium as a whole and the histroy of the Black Templars, Celestrial Lions and the Armageddon war.  Helsreach and all the Armageddon War stoiries are the height of 40k bolter fun and Scifi action. You must read it all.  Fully recommend Helsreach get it here: https://amzn.to/2NB9qoG   Get the complete Armageddon War omnibus collection here: https://amzn.to/2NLlSlw   #WARHAMMER #GRIMALDUS #HELSREACH      Thanks! Emperor Protects! -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

Warhammer 40k Lore: The Vigilus Campaign Part 2 (SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL FOR MORE https://www.youtube.com/c/aborderPrince/ ) The conclusion to the Vigilus campaign with the entry into the conflict of Abaddon the Despoilers Black Legion and other Chaotic allies. Things go boom.   Important Timestamps 0:00:00 Vigilus 2 0:02:50 Start of the Campaign 2:08:08 Climax of the Campaign 2:14:32 Warzones 3:01:48 Forces of Chaos 3:48:35 Forces of the Warp 4:06:10 Forces of the Imperium 4:22:51 Conclusion   #WARHAMMER #CALGAR #PRIMARIS   Thanks! Emperor Protects! -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: REGIMENTS OF THE IMPERIAL GUARD    The history and origins of the Imperial Guard regiments. Covering the Tallarn Desert Raiders, Mordian Iron Guard, Catachan Jungle Fighters, Attilan Rough Riders and the Valhallan Ice Warriors.    Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #CATACHAN #VALHALLAN-----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: iNDEX ASTARTES THE LAND RAIDER ORIGINS AND HISTORY The history and origins of the Land Raider Tank. Thanks! Emperor Protects!   #WARHAMMER #SCIFI #ASMR -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: INDEX ASTARTES THE CRIMSON FISTS History or the Crimson Fists Space Marine Chapter and of Rynn's World. Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #CRIMSON #ASTARTES -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: INDEX ASTARTES THE EMPEROR'S SPEARS (PRIMARIS ASTARTES) Brand new chapter for the age of the Dark Imperium and Primaris. Interesting background looking forward to finding out more. Find out more about them in their novel here: https://amzn.to/3iOtOOc   Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #ASTARTES #40K -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: BATTLE OF RYNN'S WORLD (CRIMSON FISTS) The History of the Battle of Rynns world and the near destruction of the entire Crimson Fists Chapter. Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #40K #ASTARTES  -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: INDEX ASTARTES CHAPLAINS The Lore and role of Chaplains in Adaptus Astartes Chapers.   Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #40K #CHAPLAINS-----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: INDEX ASTARTES DREADNOUGHTS History and lore of Astartes Dreadnoughts   Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #DREADNOUGHTS #ASTARTES -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K REVIEW: SINNERS BOUNTY BY JOSH REYNOLDS (KAL JERICHO) Amazing quest in the Underhive of Necromunda with Kal Jerico and a bunch of crazy things and people.  Get it here: https://amzn.to/3iz36c2 Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #40K #JERICO -----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

WARHAMMER 40K LORE: SPACE MARINE LIBRARIANS Exploring the Adeptus Astartes / Space Marine Librarians / Psykers   Thanks! Emperor Protects! #WARHAMMER #ASTARTES #LIBRARIAN-----------------------Affiliate links-----------------------------

Today's Topic – Non-linear time keeping in worldbuilding and fiction   Please Subscribe, Rate and Review us on iTunesFor complete Fantasy Worldbuilding, show notes go to Gardul.com Podcast Show Flow Inspired by Wheel of Time and a power outage Audible Membership try it and get 2 free audio books https://amzn.to/3kvk3Vk Time is more like a river than we give it credit It digs it way ahead through the path of least resistance Never stops eroding Can seem to temporarily defy even gravity… but still loses The destruction can be shift A brewing battle of advanced civilizations 12,000 years ago The human strength of memory Concept in Mythology WBT Create your own pockets RW  Task Seize Control of Space and Time Michael's Resources Use Gardul.com/Amazon when shopping online to help support the show Were alive Podcast Links ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Visit Show notes ))))))))))))))))))))))))) https://www.gardul.com/blog/episode-336-it-time-really-progressing/   ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Mentions links ))))))))))))))))))))))))) https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/no-there-wasnt-an-advanced-civilization-12-000-years-ago/   ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Rate and Review us in iTunes ))))))))))))))))))))))))) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/worldbuilders-anvil/id956705643   ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Like our Facebook Page ))))))))))))))))))))))))) https://www.facebook.com/GardulStories/   ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Join our Facebook Group ))))))))))))))))))))))))) https://www.facebook.com/groups/undercroft/   ((((((((((((((((((((((( Support us by using our Amazon Affiliate Link ))))))))))))))))))))) http://gardul.com/Amazon   ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Jeff on Twitter  ))))))))))))))))))))))))) https://twitter.com/JefferyWIngram

"You don't need to have it all figured out, you just need to realise your strengths, trust your gut & take action" by Betitina Árnafjall #90Bettina states the following:"It's my heart's desire to share the many experiences I made in my eight years as a team manager to help all you women out there to avoid mistakes, change your mindset and behavior and take your career to the next level" and through this fascinating discussion you can see exactly why.Suffering with confidence issues throughout her own life, imposter syndrome and never really having it all figured out she continued to pursue her desire and develop her passion into serving others. Recognising that none of us have it all figured out, and we all have our doubts and moments of uncertainty she still persevered. She also recognised it was her action and commitment to the process that allowed her to achieve the results she is achieving today.Some areas she specialises in or speaks about are:Confidence is key for your careerDon't confuse loyalty and a false sense of dutyYour career doesn't need to be a "career"The top 5 job search Dos and Don'tsTop 5 things to promote your career as a womanAre there unsuitable jobs for women?The gender gap - a team manager's perspectiveHow not to get paid less as a womanHow to research a realistic salarySalary negotiation tipsHow to get a raiseThis was a fascinating conversation and fortunately we managed to get it recorded this time around.Some Key Time stamps:[02:50] Bettina's own struggles with confidence[07:30] Doing things even when you aren't sure[11:50] My own imposter syndrome with podcasting[23:35] Migraines ruining Bettina's life[29:50] Fun part of the show[33:00] Bettinas final message - How to be successful without a master planI urge you all to follow her journey & check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.ukFree Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZAmazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGDSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Bettina:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenscareerlift/Website : https://www.womenscareerlift.com/resume-online-course See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Over 75% have developed mental illness by the age of 18" by Bobby Temps #88A face to face conversation with one of today's, local mental health advocates who is making huge positive changes in the space. Delighted to welcome Bobby Temps, the host of the Podcast entitled: Mental - The Podcast to Destigmatise Mental Health on to Find Your Voice where I got to know the man himself. Always intrigued as to why people do what they do, I wanted to understand why Bobby does the work he does, for mental health and also to understand where these motivators came from.This was an insightful and thought-provoking interview where we delved into many areas. We discussed the pressures society can place upon us. The pressures our parents can have on our own mental illness. Anxiety, Depression, Loneliness, Burnout and even body dysmorphia. All these can sometimes be very taboo like and we often navigate around them, rather than discussing them But keen to not just be another Mental Health hashtag episode we promised ourselves and each other we would be 100% open and transparent.Realising that we can all internalise things with a different perspective it is always a goal of mine personally to bring on as many people as possible even within the same bracket of adversity that they often highlight shaped their lives. This will in my hope, help you as listeners gain a different method, or perspective of coping and managing your own life.The beautiful thing with this interview, and something I learned midway through it was that a petition has now been signed with over 196,000 signatures, as I write this to help Some Key Time stamps:[04:45] Destigmatise Mental Health / Mental illness[08:40] Family pressures - Bobby[15:50] Family pressures - Aren[23:40] The statistics around Mental illness[30:30] Positive affirmations around Body Dysmorphia [39:15] Mental illness & Trauma you have experienced[45:00] Fun part of the showI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZAmazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGDSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Bobby:Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/bobbytemps/Website: https://www.mentalpodcast.co.uk/Twitter: https://twitter.com/mental_podcastInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentalpodcast/?hl=enPodcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/mental-the-podcast-to-destigmatise-mental-health/id1358920477Some Mental recommendations:SamaritansSomeone to talk to who really listens with someone always there to pick up the phone. They do not offer advise but a space to speak anonymously about what is on your mind and can signpost other organisations. There number is free and won’t show up on your phone bill. ​If you are a student Nightline offers a similar services tailored for you and run by student volunteers - https://nightline.ac.uk​Bias warning- Bobby used to volunteer here!​Counselling ServicesThere is no definitive route to finding the right service for you, so try googling for your local area. Remember you can always go in for a session and you don’t have to go back if you feel uncomfortable. The NHS also offers counselling but this is in part dependant on your personal situation and there is usually a waiting list.​The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy has a directory for support services on their website bacp.co.ukOrganisations with a wide range of services:rethink.org - 'We help millions of people affected by mental illness by challenging attitudes and lives with information and practical advice.'​mind.org.uk - ‘We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.’​time-to-change.org.uk - ‘We are a growing movement of people changing how we all think and act about mental health problems.’Services relating to topics we coverFor a far broader list of services visit: time-to-change.org.uk/what-are-mental-health-problems/mental-health-help-you/other-useful-organisationsPetition :https://www.change.org/p/make-mental-health-education-mandatory-in-all-schoolsSince starting this petition, we have received support from politicians across the political spectrum and it has reached over 195,000 signatures. Plus the Department of Education, Ofsted and the Welsh Assembly are already working to make these changes a reality. When working to reduce stigma, I am continually concerned how a lack of education around mental health is contributing factor. This is something regularly raised as a mutual concern by guests on my mental health podcast plus several of them are actively working to fill this need by doing talks and workshops in schools. With one in four of us experiencing mental illness every year according to the charity Mind, this seems to be a real and very significant gap in our education system. KEY STATISTICS:​- One in ten children aged between 5 and 16 years has been diagnosed with/shows signs of a mental health problem, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood. (1)- Over half of all mental ill health starts before the age of 14 years, and 75% of this has developed by the age of 18. (2)- NHS England estimates that poor mental health costs the NHS and society £105 billion a year in England alone. (3)The statistics are shocking, yet whilst there is a whole subject in the curriculum around our physical health in the form of PE, our young people are left without any knowledge of even the most common mental illnesses.​Not only does this leave them unprepared and vulnerable when it comes to looking out for their own mental health, but also sets the standard that Mental Health is not discussed. This plants a seed of stigma that many carry for their whole lives.​Upon further research, there generally seems very little in the way of guidelines currently. For example, if Romeo and Juliet is studied as part of the curriculum when the two title characters kill themselves, this is considered the end of the story or worse romanticised as an ideal form of love. The very serious topic of suicide is frequently not even mentioned as part of schooling, and yet according to the BBC, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 49.​It’s time to make a change. Even if a law was passed so every child receives one class about mental health during their time at school, this would be more than the vast majority currently get. We are keen to hear back from those in power on a more extensive plan to better the lives of our nation’s young people.​CAMPAIGNING FOR:​- Mental Health education becoming mandatory teaching for all schools in the UK without the addition of any exams or homework on this subject.​- Every child having the ability to access a qualified counsellor through their school. This is something that many workplaces already offer.​- Every school offering Mental Health training for its staff.​ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"You are NOT your Anger" by Alexander Walker #86Alexander Walker, is a clinical hypnotherapist who works with clients who have or are experiencing depression, bipolar, anxiety and stress. But he fell into this line of work due suffering depression himself, struggling with his own anger and realising he never quite fitted in. Eager to now help others, having dug himself out of his own hole, Alexander helps people on a daily basis. He kindly joined us on the show today, where he shared methods for reducing anxiety and overwhelm; managing anger management and more important recognising that our thoughts are not us. Our emotions are not us. We are not moments of our life, we are much more than that. This insightful perspective of looking at how we often criticise or judge ourselves, can increase our happiness almost instantly.It is for that reason, I encourage you all to listen to this episode, maybe even watch it on YouTube where it is not edited and has a few extra bits thrown in. It will teach you to manage your emotions and thoughts much better, which in turn will enhance your life, improve your happiness and help you find your voice.Let me know your thoughts, and be sure to share this on social media and share it with anyone you feel could benefit from the wisdom Alexander shared.Some Key Time stamps:[04:30] Understanding my own Depression - Alexander[09:00] Controlling your thoughts & bringing in a new experience[14:00] Dealing & Understanding your Anger problems[17:55] Why some people act in a "bad" way[25:30] You are responsible for your world - The HO-OPON-OPONO Technique[31:10] Acknowledge the small wins in your life + Your Journey MattersI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZAmazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGDSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Alexander:Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Alexander-Walker-Clinical-Hypnotherapist-347417235732572/Website : https://www.alexanderwalkerch.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Our biggest enemies, are our biggest teachers" by Andrea #84From Emotional Eating & Bulimia to Removing Breast Implants & Self Love Mastery Andrea opens up about how we all need to love ourselves.What an incredible story this was. Andrea's journey of overcoming emotional eating, bulimia and the beliefs and thoughts of others is inspiring to say the least. She has seen her own mind transform, but also her body too. A chapter of her story we discussed which I believe is very significant to this episode, was about her breast implants. Having initially done this, to fit in, to feel love in herself she had these removed 10 years later. Recognising that she needed to love herself first and foremost she is now in a place where she is able to live with happiness and comfort in her own body and mind, but also help many other people too.A beautiful conversation with some amazing takeaways for you all to learn and grow from. I urge you to check the YouTube version which has more content and fewer edits to get everything from this episode.Some Key Time stamps:[03:30] Why do we do what we do?[08:30] Triggers that affect you or others[13:40] Don't suppress or avoid feeling your emotions[19:40] Removing breast implants - Self Love[29:00] Listening to other peoples opinions and beliefsI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZAmazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGDSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Andrea:Website: https://ditchthescale.com/applypageInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thingsandreasays See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Success Loves Speed" by Erik Salzenstein #82Erik Talks about you have the power of change through your actions & your decisions. By building better more meaningful relationships and embracing the fact we are not alone we can achieve whatever success we want, and achieve our goals. Sometimes having an intention is not enough and to turn our life around we need to take the right action and this requires some tips that Erik speaks about in this episode.But Erik's life was not always as simple as it sounds from this summary. Erik spent the first half of his current life making the odd wrong decision and recognised swiftly how these had such a negative impact on his life. Needing to change his circumstances and not just wanting to change them he made a positive change. He transformed himself from Prison to Prosperity. A truly humble and genuine soul who has become a friend not only of the show but myself. He is one who practices what he preaches and serves people with his authenticity and skill set.Some Key Time stamps:[02:30] Making the wrong decisions[09:30] Prison life[17:20] The 2 Books that Changed Eriks Life[30:00] Stretching Your Comfort ZoneI urge you all to follow his journey:Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZAmazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGDSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Erik:Website: https://eriksalzenstein.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/salzenstein/?hl=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Erik-Salzenstein-139557716769533/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Tales of broken chains" by Sarah Davis #80A courageous woman who gives a platform for others to share their stories and her own, unapologetically Sarah Davis brings some joy into this episode. Having been in an abusive relationship Sarah found it difficult to find herself and voice due to the trauma it caused her. But now, an aspiring entrepreneur who hosts the Broken Chains Podcast Sarah is enjoying herself, loving herself and finding her voice.An infectious personality as you will see from the YouTube version of this podcast, Sarah has come out the other side of adversity but as she states early on in this episode, you have to do it for you. You have to take control of your life, because nobody else can do it for you.Let us know your thoughts and reach out to Sarah and follow her journey as I am sure you will find huge value from her.Some Key Time stamps:[06:15] Overcoming Abusive Relationships[10:30] Finding your voice & purpose[16:30] School systems are failing us[23:20] Journaling is keyFree Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZAmazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGDSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Sarah:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brokenchainsradio/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SDavis14Podcast: Broken Chains Radio See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"I believe that love is action" by Wendy Adamson #78Wendy Adamson, has a story that sounds like it is from a Hollywood movie. Almost so morbid and depressive, when we signal the events but one that has a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Distraught and riddled with adversity, Wendy has seen her own mother who was diagnosed Schizophrenic commit suicide. She has seen first hand the problems drugs and alcohol can have on a family. Yet during her early years she was unable to change her circumstances and her choices led to her having a psychotic breakdown and following the footsteps of her mom.To make things worse, Wendy then ended up shooting at the mistress of her husband and found her life spiralling out of control straight into country jail. Needing to now take action, and accountable for her decisions and choices Wendy started with forgiveness. She began to show her sons the love of a mother through her actions. Now a women of service Wendy shares her stories of adversity and experience to help others. Someone who is an author, a motivational speaker and activity. Wendy is such a courageous women who speaks her truth to inspire and help others.A truly incredible story, and having experienced the effects of alcohol in my own family, I ordered her book straight after this show to hopefully give hope to my family who are struggling with addiction. it always helps having a blueprint, of someone who has overcome the trauma, ptsd and problems we have experienced in our lives.Some Key Time stamps:[01:15] Wendy's story[06:45] Psychotic break[08:00] Shooting her husbands mistress[22:20] Wendys book - Mother Load her experiences and story[29:00] Importance of being of value[40:00] Inspite of adversity we can become and do moreFree Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Wendy:Website: https://wendyadamson.comMother load book by Wendy Adamson: https://amzn.to/36Q4UWPWendys son's Instagram: https://havasole.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/2jedi/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Blast Your Past" by Nick Davies #76Nick Davies joins us on Find Your Voice to discuss; Panic attacks, Narcissism, Gaslighting, NLP & much more in this amazing episode.An episode that I wanted to bring all you amazing listeners to really you take control of your lives. Nick Davies shares his 2 incredible protocols to help manage stress, overwhelm and anxiety within 5-10 minutes. These two protocols are called: The Lima Protocol and also the Tapping Protocol.The Lima and Tapping Protocol are put onto a separate video for you all to gain access too:https://youtu.be/q1YHHgPnuy8Alongside this, we also discuss narcissist people and their cognitive blind spots, dissonance and the way they can harm people in society. Furthermore, the use of NLP to manipulate people is also discussed with Nick explaining certain things you should all be aware off.But this is, just some of the amazing takeaways in this episode, as Nick also shares his work ethic, passion and tells a wonderful story of persistence and graft. An authentic individual, who overcame panic attacks, a stab wound to the heart and being dead for almost 25 minutes!Miracles do happen, and with some of these techniques you wouldn't be far off thinking they are miracles too. As an anxious person myself, the use of these techniques have massively helped me personally, so I felt it my duty to share it with yourselves.https://ndhypnotherapy.wordpress.com/Some Key Time stamps:Key timestamps:[04:40] Nicks introduction to NLP in 1996[07:00] The difference between Anxiety & Panic attacks[07:55] Being stabbed in the heart[11:40] The LIMA Protocol - To help you with your anxiety (available on separate YouTube Video} https://youtu.be/q1YHHgPnuy8[17:40] The Tapping Protocol - To help you with stress, frustration or lower mood (available on separate YouTube Video} https://youtu.be/q1YHHgPnuy8[23:45] NLP being used the wrong way[36:00] Nick analysing my own body language[43:30] Narcissist Traits explored - They think their right[49:30] A Powerful Lesson of Perseverance & Hard workKey Quotes by Nick:On anxiety:"Anxiety, is a fear of the future. A future based emotion""If you got anxiety, this is a precursor to panic"On why Affirmations won't work:Affirmations do not work, unless your in the alpha state""Your brain won't accept suggestions unless your in that alpha state"On narcissists"A narcissistic type of person, has to have an outrageous type of personality. When you analyse them, these people are very insecure""Whether there a murderer, burglar or narcissist, they don't know their that person. What they think their doing, they think their right.""Cognitive blind spots are things where your unaware that your doing bad things"On everyone moving forward:"Trust yourself"Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Nick:Website for free resources: https://ndhypnotherapy.wordpress.com/Nicks website: http://www.ndhypnotherapy.com/YouTube video for LIMA/Tapping Protocol: https://youtu.be/q1YHHgPnuy8Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nick.p.davies.3Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ndhypnotherapy/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Making a difference matters at any scale" by Chris Bello #74An incredible story from a wonderful guy. Chris Bello echoes a life so similar to my own. Giving up work without a backup plan, jumping into real estate and also having a podcast to help impact and empower people. Also alongside this, Chris has gone on a similar personal development journey where he now sees himself as someone able to advise and help people overcome their mindset issues and improve their productivity hacks.A conversation I thoroughly enjoyed and one I guess that made me feel better about some decisions in my life I often roll my eyes up at. Yet the one thing we both have in common more than just our job titles, is our true desire to serve and impact more people. Making a difference matters at any scale, regardless of whether its 1 person or 1 million and this is a mantra we both live by. A great individual who I highly recommend you follow post this show and if you are interested in freebies, check his links out below & subscribe to his podcast:Some Key Time stamps:Key timestamps:[03:35] Chris' Story with no back up plan[07:10] Importance of consistency in Podcasting[13:15] Some daily habits Chris uses[20:00] The benefits of failures / mistakes[27:00] Chris legacyKey Quotes by Chris:"Making a difference matters at any scale, regardless of whether its 1 person or 1 million"."Consistency over time and continuing to plant seeds, that will result in improving the world overall"Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Chris:Free download: https://chrisbello.com/productivity/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisbello09/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chrisbello1990Website: https://chrisbello.com/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Live peacefully doing what you love" by Evan Bradley Johnson #72Evan Bradley Johnson dropped out of college, when he recognised quickly the corporate life was not for him. He wanted to be an entrepreneur, and that he did. He took over from his mothers business and has not looked back since. A different perspective, for the listeners of find your voice, that I hope you find useful. Finding Your Voice, or your way in life, can come through any avenue. Now I never want to prescribe something so matter of fact to you, without at least giving a balanced argument.But the one thing I would strongly suggest you all do, moving forward in 2020, is to look at your life and see if its making you truly happy and fulfilled. If it is not, then you may need to reassess and look at where you need to go. Once you have this, I urge you to reverse engineer the process and find a way of becoming that person worthy and capable of living out those dreams.Some great honest insights from an entrepreneur that aren't often discussed too within this episode that I am sure, those experienced or even newbies embarking on the journey will benefit from. Other topics discussed were finding things that make you happy and the importance of mindset.Some Key Time stamps:Key timestamps:[05:00] Evan's entrepreneurial start[07:28] The Best & Worst thing about being an entrepreneur[16:50] Never forget how far you have come[17:10] Evan's health problems[25:40] Taking time for the things that you enjoyKey Quotes by Evan:"it's okay to have goals and try to achieve, but try to remember to take a step back and remember that there is a life happening to you in this moment, and its okay to take a breathe and enjoy that"."Nothing is a perfectly great answer""Drop out of college"Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Evan:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012678490353Website: http://www.ipodcastedit.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Heart of the Sea" by Damien Rider #70This was the most difficult podcast episode I had to title as it could have been titled so so many things, due to the insights and knowledge Damien dropped. His tag line reads: 'Triumph over adversity', overcoming PTSD, trauma and adversity is something Damien does as good as most. An incredible individual focused on surpassing his own mental and physical capabilities each and every day. A TedX speaker, an author, an ultra athlete world record holder but more important, at least in my eyes, a true humanitarian.An individual who has experienced trauma via child abuse in his own days, has now turned his life into inspiring and helping others cope. He is not someone who hashtags key phrases, but rather someone who spends time actually taking time out of his day to make an impact. To support survivors and those he can. A truly delightful experience for myself, to have connected with someone who inspires me and shows me that anything is possible.The YouTube Video is also live, although the sound waves of the oceans and horses in the background may distract you!Key timestamps:[05:15] Damien Story of overcoming Child Abuse[08:45] Humanitarian acts of making a difference, for Child abuse awareness[11:20] Tips on how to achieve your goals or overcome your adversity[16:20] Everybody has their ups & downs[21:15] Fun Part of the Show[24:30] Damiens Final MessageKey Quotes by Damien:"Test yourself daily""People forget the challenges that they have gone through life..""I have taken away the words, try, fail & impossible and replaced them with do, learn & possible"Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Damien Rider:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/damienriderWebsite: https://www.damienrider.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Just Do It" by Morgan Gillis #68Morgan has had her fair share of career ventures until she really started to find her way via her habit coaching. Recognising, through self reflection, that her life was not heading the way it should have been, she swiftly realised it was her habits that were determining her levels of success and progress. As a result of this, she started to work on herself and changing her habits, to ensure her goals and life moving forward was the life she wanted.She now coaches people with their daily habits, entrepreneurs mainly, and openly shares her flaws and vulnerabilities as she does wants to remain fully transparent at not having it all figured out, and recognises she is just like all of us here, still finding her own voice and finding her way in the world. A bundle of energy and one who is destined to achieve so so much more in 2020 and following years. I urge you all to follow her journey and get your positive habits started today!Key timestamps:[04:45] Leaving the standard path of life[12:30] Morgans lowest points in her life[20:30] Morgans habits[28:25] Embracing Fear[36:55] Fun part of the show[40:15] Trust your heart & IntuitionKey Quotes by Morgan:"Just do it""I knew my story had power and had difficulty sharing it with anyone""I want to go here, but I am still a waitress"Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Morgan:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehabitscoach/21 day challenge: http://21daysofchallenge.com/goalsetting/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"I'm Still Here" by Mike McBride #67Mike is an infectious human being who shares his vulnerabilities and story to the world, to not only escape his own thoughts and release but to help other people. Mike has recognised through him sharing his story and finding his voice, post surviving child abuse. A sincere man, with a purpose to let people know they aren't alone and that there are ways of overcoming trauma as a child, or any abuse we may suffer.He also discusses some incredible points around, intentional living and how this would enhance the happiness and fulfilment for all of us. Amongst this, we discuss the need to do the work on ourselves with specialists when trauma is the problem. The healing, the overcoming of shame and coming out the other side is necessary but it requires work. Real, hard work that sometimes we may want to avoid or shy away from. But only until we feel the wound can we heal the wound, as the great Robin Sharma quotes.An absolute pleasure to have Mike on the show and I thank him for his transparency and words.Key timestamps:[05:00] Mike sharing his child abuse story through blogging[08:25] Child abuse is NOT your fault.[09:40] Why me?[16:28] Living Intentionally[22:22] Dissociating yourself from abuse[28:45] Fun part of the show[33:55] The Story of Dunkirk - "All we did was survive"Key Quotes by Mike:"We do the things we want to do, and don't do the things we don't want to do" [Intentional Living]"It's not your fault' [On being abused]'These people were going to hurt someone. They were broken, they were damaged and they were looking for someone to hurt...And I just happened to be in the space when it happened" [On being abused]I urge you all to please follow Mike and support his amazing journey.Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceBook mentioned:Healing the Shame that binds you: https://amzn.to/2sU8mkILinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Mike:All links to Mikes work: https://linktr.ee/childabusesurvivornet See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Change 1 world every single day" by Ally Salama #63Ally Salama is a Social Entrepreneur, Speaker, Podcaster, Ex Pro Athlete who is a mental health ambassador. His work has stemmed from suffering with clinical depression himself. Something he openly admits to never understanding before being diagnosed with it himself. However, depression forced him to take a look at himself and in turn, address his own motives and understand himself on a deeper level. Now creating a huge movement and raising awareness in the Middle East for mental health Ally's message is sincere, authentic and powerful. He is changing the conversation around mental health.Ally has also had his fair share of adversity, from being stabbed at 15 to recognise the true gift and gratitude of life we all have today. He is now determined to never let that blessing of being alive become forgotten, for he is actively now aiming to change 1 world every single day through empathy. He is a people person, someone who after 2 hours of conversation will remain a friend for life. He, similar to myself, preach empathy and compassion and by putting people first, over anything else will result in bigger rewards, higher fulfilment and more happiness.Someone I am proud to now call a friend, although I see him like a wiser younger brother, I urge you all to follow his journey and help him on his empowering movements.Key timestamps:[04:45] Ex Pro Athlete with a Broken Mindset[10:10] The Strongest People in the World, Have the Biggest Hearts[21:40] Anxiety & Our Mobile Phones[24:00] Happiness & Relationships + Stabbing Story[30:00] Running 100 miles after a 3rd attempt[41:30] Women EmpowermentKey Quotes by Ally"he Strongest People in the World, Have the Biggest Hearts""Empathy Always wins"I urge you all to please follow Ally and support his amazing journey.Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Ally:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allysalamaYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7ZOXxqug0twnzRizJTgCzgMagazine: https://empower-mag.com/author/allysalama/Website: https://www.allysalama.com/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Integrity Bank" by Nate Bailey #63Nate is a man of many talents. A successful entrepreneur, real estate investor, speaker, coach and author. Along with many other talents and avenues he has pursued such as podcasting, serving his country in the war and running 100 miles (ca. 161 km) at once! But one thing from this interview that really stuck out for me, was his authenticity and integrity. Nate is a man of his word, who has used his life experiences to not only level his own life up and reach a life he is proud and happy with, but he also now helps other people too.Recognising there has to be more to life, Nate went on a personal journey of transforming his own life. He did this by banking all the things he said he would do, into what he calls the Integrity Bank. Then through consistent actions and staying true to his word, he has achieved some incredible feats that have not only built his resilience but also his experience that he now shares with the world.Super intentional behaviours and being clarity on all aspects of his life, Nate has really managed to mould his life into a place he is now happy with. One that now gives him a meaning, but is not just about him. Using his own words, of: "It's not all about you" Nates honest story showcases the journey of life many of us go through. We rarely have it figured out, however we can figure it out if we put the work in!Key timestamps:[05:25] Figuring out the purpose of life[14:45] What do you want from life?[24:00] Imposter Syndrome[30:00] Running 100 miles after a 3rd attemptKey Quotes by Nate Bailey"When emotions are high, clarity is low""Be super intentional""Its not all about you"I urge you all to please follow Nate and support his amazing journey.Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZLoving What Is - Byron Katie: https://amzn.to/35a0uKwSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Nate:Website: http://www.natebaileyspeaks.com/Free Audible: http://www.100milemindset.com/optin30624563Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachnatebailey/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Kindness matters, matched with uncomfortability" by Chelsea Von #61The journey of finding one's individual purpose is crucial for us all to really understand what we are meant to do in this very short space of time on this Earth. For Chelsea, this came through seeing her parents battle with mental health, bipolar disorder and seeing her own mom tragically take her life. Chelsea has had to grow up quicker than most and deal with her own mental health having seen the ill effects that it can have, not just on day-to-day life but also for those of us who struggle to continue. Now starting her initiative of the YouTake10 Project,Chelsea is trying to change the conversation and to create and spread awareness of kindness, compassion but more so, ensuring she addresses the mental health and suicide stigmas that exist.This was our first ever live YouTube recording, where you will see mistakes, nervousness, but raw genuine conversations about what we both believe can help people move forward. Chelsea shares her deepest vulnerabilities and stories to hopefully spread light and help others recognise that they are not alone. That together we are strong, with kindness and compassion and together we can learn to manage our own well-being better, so that we can then serve others much better.I urge you all to please follow and support this amazing project, The YouTake10 Project. It is one that I feel strongly about and believe will change the future for so many people.Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21 Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com/subscribeYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Chelsea:Instagram (YouTake10): https://instagram.com/youtake10projectInstagram (Personal): https://instagram.com/curlswithsoulYouTube: https://youtu.be/3clD7bbCx68The 1st Ever Find Your Voice YouTube Video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qcDTu0ejQA See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"She did it anyway" by Dr Linda F. Williams #59Don't believe the lie that fear is the end of your story."It's not what other people think about us, its what we think about ourselves that keeps us back" - Dr Linda F. WilliamsSo, Dr. Linda F. Williams, DSW is a Certified Executive Coach is a lady who I now hold dear to my heart. Our conversation went via many directions but her messages, were all so sincere and authentic. A lady who has had to overcome horrific moments of adversity such as: Domestic violence and Rape now teaches us the importance of Sharing Your Story & Finding Your Voice.The trauma she has been on, has seen her develop a resilience mindset but more importantly than that a heart willing to forgive. Now a trained psychotherapist, nationally recognized behaviourist, and Emotional Intelligence Consultant Linda wants to ensure others are able to overcome their adversities.Some time stamps of some key topics:[04:40] The Problem with Ignoring Your Trauma[09:40] Why You Need to Share Your Story[15:25] Linda's Voice[33:00] The Power of Forgiveness[42:40] Why Positive Affirmations Don't Always WorkI urge you all to follow her amazing journey, share this episode with anyone you think it will help and go out there and Find Your Voice.Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Dr Linda Williams:Website: https://www.whoseapple.org/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whoseappledynamicFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/LindaFWilliamsMSWTwitter: https://twitter.com/whoseappleLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindafwilliamsYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8GJ5I5BQvQ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"I Am Ant Bennett" by Anthony Bennett #57The Inspirational Speaker Anthony Bennett shares his incredible journey on Find Your Voice this week. A recommendation from our previous guest Winston Clements Anthony shares one of the most amazing insights into his mind, story and current journey.It is rarely an episode goes over 40 minutes but here we have so so many nuggets of takeaways that you can implement today to help you change your voice. As a result of that I felt I couldn't cut any of his interview out. His self reflection, his story, his resilience, his behaviour with himself and thought processes are something we can all take gratitude and lessons from.Some time stamps of some key topics:[03:00] A little about the Miracle man[12:20] Recognising how ill he was[18:30] Shout out to the Medical Professions[25:00] Self awareness & Understanding Your Body[33:40] Anthony's biggest fear & Routine[43:50] Anthony's approach to meeting Role Models & Learn[44:20] Knowing your self worth[59:00] Importance of sharing your story[61:00] Skeptas 3 parts of life[72:00] Fun Part of the show[78:00] The most important conversation you can haveI urge you all to follow his amazing journey, share this episode with anyone you think it will help and go out there and Find Your Voice.Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Anthony:Website: https://anthonyinspires.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamantbennettTwitter: https://twitter.com/IAmAntBennettYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGAHvjXniCdKyU5yTpWmoSQ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Overcome" #55 by Andy AudateTagline: "You can do some crazy things in life...There is no reason to accept fear, if you have already accepted your death"Raised in a city of impoverishment and a college dropout with little formal education; Andy took a path of entrepreneurship, forcing a course of endless self-education that has amounted to his successes. A story of breaking the stereotype and overcoming all the odds Andy is a proving that if we act, irrespective of fear we can achieve our wildest dreams.Andy turned his hunger, into entrepreneurship starting his first businesses of eBay and never looked back since. He is now a professional speaker, author (No More Average) and serial entrepreneur changing the game for all those he works with. Having benefited from the mentorship of Les Brown, Andy is now on a path to achieve his dreams of being a billionaire and helping a billion people.I urge you all to follow his amazing journey, share this episode with anyone you think it will help and go out there and Find Your Voice.Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Andy:Website: https://online.andyaudate.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/andyaudateTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/andyaudateYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/andyaudate/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Adapt #53 by James RobertsTagline: "At times I wanted to be anything but disabled"James Roberts is the host of the Mindset Athlete Podcast, a speaker, a coach and also a Paralympian who has represented his country in 2008/2012.In this particular episode I wanted to extract the mindset of someone who has operated at the top level. I wanted to see how easy it was, or difficult to transfer the lessons of being a top athlete into other aspects and arenas in your life. I wanted to also delve into James mindset and extract his doubts, fears and see how we could dehumanise him, in the most respectful way to show us, as non-elite athletes that we too could achieve anything we truly want.This was a fascinating discussion as James shared some of his major vulnerabilities about 75% through the show but also spoke about how he grew up as a teenager, wanting to be anything but disabled. This made my heart sink, hearing those words. Yet disciplined, consistent and persistence in his pursuit of being more and doing more James continued to achieve his dreams.I enjoyed everything he stood for. From playing the long game, to his approach towards fat loss. His ethical, sustainable approach to helping people lose weight mirrors that of which I have taught for 8+ years. He is someone who has fought battles not just in the arena, but also within his own mind, conquering them to great success.Some key topics discussed:[07:00] Viewing competition as a positive[10:00] Fad diets & Fat loss[18:15] Questioning one's identity[28:50] Failure is not bad[35:08] James vulnerability of not working enough[44:05] The importance of playing the long gameI urge you all to follow his amazing journey, share this episode with anyone you think it will help and go out there and Find Your Voice.Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to James:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesoroberts11Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jamesoroberts11Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-mindset-athlete-podcast/id1227806049 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Simply Sandahl" #51 by Sandahl TaylorTagline: "Be a pineapple, stand tall wear a crown and be sweet on the inside"An inspiring story of a woman who has been a victim of domestic violence, homelessness and seen those close to her suffer major health conditions Her vision now, is to inspire and empower people to find their voice. Through finding her own voice and being able to transfer her message via pageantry, for married women, Sandahl hopes that her message will encourage people to realise their own beauty inside and out.A huge advocate for living with kindness and having the gift of her voice and platform she is now pursuing her vision to become Miss World. Already racking up accolades like: Mrs World Germany 2020, Mrs Pennsylvania 2018 and now doing public speaking, I am confident you will see the beauty within Sandahl's story, herself and that of which she shines towards others around her.Some key timestamps:[03:55] Advocating for those who have no voice[10:10] Tips to control your own life[16:10] Camel back adventures[28:35] Embrace your struggle[34:35] Sandahls message to the listenersI urge you all to follow her amazing journey, share this episode with anyone you think it will help and go out there and Find Your Voice.Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Sandahl:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandahltaylor/?hl=enTwitter: https://twitter.com/sindelpgh?lang=enFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MrsSandahlTaylor/ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"5 Ways to Live With Integrity" #50 by Aren DeuTagline: "If you don't find what's important to you, you will find yourself doing what is important for others"Hopefully these 5 steps will at least get you thinking about what Integrity means to you. It is important, that your inner dialogue and mind is in sync with your external words, actions and feelings. The full transcript is shown below for anyone who needs it, to help them.Don't forget to share!Transcript:So before I BEGIN I want to explain why I believe integrity is important for finding your voice. Now used as a metaphor for finding you way in life, doing you, finding you and writing your own story: through all the conversations, research, interviews and self development I have personally done, we will only ever become truly successful when we act out of integrity.Yes you can make short term gains, or wins trying to pull the wool over peoples eyes behind captions, smart articulated words or clever manipulative tactics.But on the whole LIKE the great quote states:“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”So for me its better to just do act with integrity from the onset right? Because success, true success should enviably lead you to happiness and fulfilment and that is the underlying theme and goal of this show right?By the way I mean happiness and fulfilment meant on the inside, not on Instagram, when we act out of integritySo just incase someone is thinking what the hell is integrity - as we don’t know what we don’t know a quick google definition explains it as the following:IntegrityDefinition:1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.2. The state of being whole and undividedSo very quickly integrity for me, stands as 1 of my core values. For me it means following my moral and ethical beliefs through & being true to myself at all times.Now, if anyone doesn’t know me and this is the 1st interview they have stumbled across, I am not, I repeat NOT, sitting here pretending to be all righteous and holier than anyone else.I am simply trying to live by my best code of practice and always do the right thing.Of course the right thing can always be led to interpretation, but basic things like:1. Being kind2. Sticking to your word3. Following through with your actions4. Helping people whenever you can help people5. Making a positive contribution to society etc etc are all some things I genuinely try my best to do.Do I always master it? Hell no, but I try!So it kind of brings me onto this brain dump short fire episode.What does integrity mean to you?I urge you to have a true think about It & irrespective of your moral and ethics code, see if you are aligned and congruent with that.You see I think Integrity falls short if:What you say ORWhat you feel ORWhat you doAre never in sync.For example:1. If you say you are an honest individual, but then feel deceitful due to some of your actions, that screams alarm bells.2. Another example is that if you feel a certain type of way but say and do things differently externally, that screams a lack of congruency and doesn’t show integrity.So this is just some thoughts that ran through my head as the more people I meet on this journey o find your voice, the more purposeful I am about finding people with sincere honest integrity.“After all, you’ve probably seen the famous quote:Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.”So again, conscious of not just making this a sound dump lets give some quick takeaways on how to live with integrity:1. Stick to your word. Actions speak louder than words. I always say this. What we say is one thing, whether that is to somebody else or even ourselves. What we need to do is follow through on those actions.2. Understand your core values, from a moral and ethical perspective. If you don’t know what is important to you, you may find yourself doing what is important for others. Only when you truly understand yourself, who you are, and who you are not can you find your purpose and of course, find your voice!3. Do the right thing off social media. The reason I SAY this, is because it’ll form a positive habit of adding value and contribution without the need for external applause or validation. Plus doing the right thing is the right thing! Period.4. Know your bigger picture. Now what I mean by this, is and its very closely linked actually to point 2. Is to know your price and limits. When you have a future vision of yourself, the person you truly want to become that will come at a sacrifice. It will require, sacrificing sleep, recreational times, money, nights out etc. But it should never come at the expense of your integrity. So often I have seen people chase quick money and sell their soul. Or lie about things to get a few followers. This to me, alongside being deceitful, inauthentic and damn right annoying also screams a lost soul. Someone who doesn’t know themselves. Learn to know yourself!5. Find people similar to yourself. I tweeted something a few days ago actually that this year is about removing people from my table. The quote wasn’t mine, before anyone goes all Jay Shetty on me, but it resonated with me. I am probably the most trustworthy person. Even after I have been lied too, cheated on, stolen from and taken a ride for on many occasions. But I live in good spirits that people do the best with what they can, and deep down most of us, as I cant guarantee all of us do, are nice people just lost. So to avoid heartache and not make the same mistakes over and over, I find myself simply upgrading my network and removing the issues wherever I can!And there we have it!So hopefully this adds some value to you all, as I always whole heartedly appreciate your time and value it too.Let’s try just for this week at the very least, to follow one of these and live with Integrity!Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"5 Keystone Habits To Change Your Life" #44 by Aren DeuTagline: "Let's get you living your best days, everyday!"So changing our habits is difficult. It will usually require a level of resistance. A level of sacrifice & more importantly dedication & consistency.But let me welcome to you the ultimate type of habit. The keystone habit. The benefits of Keystone habits is explained briefly in this episode, but it will effectively have a positive dominoes effect on the rest of the areas in your life too.So in this episode I give you 5 that if you just implemented these, you would see a huge shift & change in your life. You would notice your overall wellbeing, happiness & health improve. And isn't that the point?So if you don't believe me I dare you to try these for 3-4 months. At the very least, youll sleep better, eat better, think better & maybe even look better.Let me also know how you found it and if you have any other keystone habits to share too, so I can share them with the Find Your Voice community to help more people.P.s. Any shares of the podcast, this episode or others, on social media (tag me in) I will repost and re share as many of them as possible too!Have an awesome day!MyFitnessPal - The app to monitor intakeFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"5 reasons you need to start now" #42 by Aren DeuTagline: "This episode is aimed at empowering you all to take control of your lives"So i've been there too. I have had those dreams and goals plastered on my vision board too and never really moved towards obtaining them. I have also used being a 'perfectionist' as an excuse for never really getting started. But throughout you life, you start to then realise that these are all excuses. These are excuses to stop you from achieving or pursuing your goals and dreams.Now why we do this, boils down to many factors. Some of which could be, fear of success, fear of failure, overwhelm, other peoples opinions etc But the problem with it is, is that they are still excuses. Now I used to think I had the best excuses in the world. In fact i'd even tap myself on the back once or twice and think wow, nice one Aren.But who were these excuses really for? Because let's be honest, most people do not care (we are that insignificant in the grand scheme of things) and the only person who suffers is you. Your progress!So anyway, i have listed 5 quick reasons why starting today, right this second is okay. Why it is necessary. Why you need to do it.Let me also know how you found it and if you have any others to share too. I will share this with the community if it can help them.P.s. Any shares of the podcast, this episode or others, on social media (tag me in) I will repost and re share as many of them as possible too!Have an awesome day!Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"How to fix a broken mindset" #40 by Aren DeuTagline: "If you don't adopt this, then Find your voice becomes a pointless session"Your mindset is everything. A simple definition of the word 'mindset' is that it is a collection of beliefs and thoughts. Now if we expand on the importance of it, then we have to recognise that our mindset will have an unprecedented impact on our day-to-day lives. We are governed so strongly by the things we believe and think, even when we do not realise it.Now of course, when I say I am proposing 3 ways to fix a broken mindset, I want you to recognise that this is to help you move towards a growth mindset. This is said in tongue in cheek, and plays on words by using the word "fix". Remember fixing a mindset, does not mean getting a fixed mindset. Especially as a fixed mindset is a broken mindset.The aim of this episode is to get you all to walk away with 3 tangible steps, that require no unique talents or effort, yet can still massively enhance your life. Just by operating and utilising these 3 steps you will instantly realise and reap the benefits from changing your thoughts and initial beliefs.I sincerely hope after this episode you gain genuine value. Funnily enough, I dislike talking for the sake of talking as I truly appreciate time is our most important commodity. So just to have you tune in, means the world to me. But what would mean more, would be to see you all implement even just 1 of the steps in this podcast.Let me also know how you found it and if you have any others to share too.P.s. Any shares of the podcast, this episode or others, on social media (tag me in) I will repost and re share as many of them as possible too!Have an awesome day!Links to Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZor if you prefer the audible version and have yet to sign up to Audible, get it FREE below:Free Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"When god comes knocking" #39 by Michael TaylorTagline: "If you want something badly enough, there is no-one or nothing that can keep you from attaining it yourself"Michaels story is riddled with adversity and as you listen to the trauma he has been through it is difficult to disagree that he is in fact a specialist in adversity. However, Michael does not paint a gloom and doom picture and speaks with optimism, enthusiasm and words of true wisdom about his experiences.His invaluable insights, knowledge and healing procedures will definitely resonate with many of you who have too experienced adversity or trauma in your lives. Michael was abandoned by his mother at a very young age, where he noticed his first sacred wound. He was then experience domestic abuse, with his alcoholic grandma.To make matters worse, Michael was then tragically raped by his older cousin sister. Something that he struggled for many years to share and overcome. His life was never simple and failed businesses and marriages continued to add to his ever growing list of adversities until he found himself, his voice.Michael spent a lot of time healing and reflecting on himself which allowed him to completely change the next few chapters of his life around. When he moved his focus to service as opposed to money and healed his inner traumas and experiences Michael started to achieve bliss, happiness and fulfilment. He has since gone on to write 7 books, do multiple podcasts, keynote speak on many occasions and share his amazing wisdom with the world.Someone I find truly fascinating and inspiring, I urge you all to follow his journey and let us both know what you thought about this amazing episode!Key talking points in this episode:How to overcome rape as a maleHow to heal from past traumaHow to find your True purposeFinding your Sacred woundsOvercoming the imposter syndrome & Finding your voiceI sincerely hope after this episode you gain genuine value. Follow myself and Michael on our links below and let us know your thoughts:)Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachmichaeltaylor/Website: http://www.coachmichaeltaylor.com/Michaels book: https://amzn.to/2ZsA7AqBooks recommended:Sign up for FREE Audible download any of the books mentioned:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Healing the shame that binds you - John Bradshaw https://amzn.to/2NOikNeHealing the child within - Charles Whitfield https://amzn.to/2zNVVHtPippa transcript: See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"The girl who lived" #38 by El FormosaTagline: "Break the stigma"El Formosa, is an incredibly beautiful soul. A proud mother, a blogger, a mental health advocate and a writer. She speaks her truth and opens up to all her vulnerabilities of the adversities she suffers. Having tragically seen her nan and best friend die from cancer, El has had her fair share of struggles and pain throughout her life. Also due to something out of her control she also found herself diving deep into anxiety which led to depression and ill mental health.Now trying to break the stigma, and overcome the dark side to anxiety, El shares an honest, vulnerable story about overcoming the shame she initially had attached to anxiety. She also speaks about what she believes people can do if they are ever struggling and so kindly opens herself up to speak with anyone who may need someone to talk too.I can describe El in a few words, that all give you a warm feeling: Kind, vulnerable, honest and thought provoking.Key talking points in this episode:Overcoming shame of mental healthDealing with the adversity of deathFinding your passion and voice through your own mediumWhat to do when you are going through anxietyThe fear of relapsing with mental healthI sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow El's journey if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: http://www.tro-unicorns.uk/2019/07/cover-your-ears.html?m=1Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elformosa_ldn/welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of Floyd your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so today's story is from our and she speaks about her truth Hey truth being depression not outside Lee has been battling with depression for quite some time not having previously suffer with his ideas well and she suffered with a whole heap of adversity like many of us listening hit today she's hired people die two kinds %HESITATION her best friend had none she's also had circumstances in our lives I really forced her to look deep in trying to find a suppose the meeting behind the paid that she's going through but more importantly than that she's a mother I very pride mother she's a blog at a right to and she definitely does have the coolest name for a blog I've ever come across the randomness of unicorns I don't remember when I first interviewed at I don't you read one blog and since then I've literally been binging on a blog because that very thought provoking the very honest very rule and straight to the point is very authentic and I absolutely love that about how this story so hopefully find issues for that one once again thank you for taking time out of your day to listen to the show to support the show because obviously times are mostly poor commodity so I'm fully appreciative of you taking time night and obviously I want to make this show for you guys %HESITATION we're trying to give you the most by did you hence why have people love my previous guests and I was the L. today giving you amazing was a was them and hopefully tangible takeaways the you can take I find more happiness for filbert in your own lives so without further ado let's get the city on the way so out firstly how you doing today I'm good thank you having I'm very well thank you so before we begin I think it's very important obviously for the lessons of the show to get an insight in relation to who we have on the show today so I'll if you wouldn't mind if you could just kind of give us a little bit about your life a bit biased summary and maybe tell us what brings you here today find your voice okay %HESITATION while I'm a ransom demand for what he is and the last six or seven years and I started a blog and about the same time the guy and and like you said it's more of a thought provoking cloak and I know it's a lot of books intellect lifestyle Ole and health and fitness I guess it's kind of one of those things and based on my experiences are kind of and put together in a AM sometimes the locker a fictional fashion %HESITATION and that non fiction depends well %HESITATION on delivering and try and get people to kind of think about things just a little bit more than they usually work and and with regards to mental health and I started a mental help local media files three months ago I am often in the mental health condition for quite awhile and then I decided that it would be quite good if I was quite a bit about and in order to kind of let people know that unite the someone up a lot since the same way and because I felt and like I was the only one that felt how I felt and kind of reading other people's blogs and and getting on Instagram and things like that honest and the help me celesta locked in something I'm sorry to have a joke and but my passion absolute passion is rising and I do not rely on colleges that the sign just cough you said you did something full time yes so I have a day job okay and a working schools the danger and and yeah on what %HESITATION outside of work yeah he just touched on something really nice day which was %HESITATION that you I won't put felt that the stuff you're going through that you were long without and also because obviously the more now you start share your blogs and stuff you realize it actually especially mental health is not something that is exclusive to one person is definitely not on I feel like and I feel like in a way wall and on the phone with is a positive thing because the things I see in the world where people don't talk about certain things and I can be like some cool so I have to be am I see is a kind of mission to be honest about how the film one banker a side everyone else can see that I'm going to be the same in the wilderness together people in the dark winter will sign I learned it also left a message out that's pretty much the whole purpose behind the show find your voice but I love that we able to get someone he's almost finding their voice although through a blog having that same positive thing and for someone to go through mental health and have a positive swam issue to say has it always been that easy to see as a positive or was it something that through your blogging of maybe two year journey that you've been able to kind of see as a positive all of us well I want to say that it's not easy I'm I'm I'm able to say and I believe it I want people to know that use me just because I'm saying it now they are not days doesn't mean that they're in the days when I find it difficult to side so just wanna make that very clear thank think that you know on the full picture and I'm just you know completely accomplished and it's almost kind citing now because it's not because I'm mental health is kind of a consigna we'll have mental health and some of us have elements will help and then there are days with quite difficult to see those things that these the reminders I tell myself and in order to try and get me back on top it has taken quite a while the current displaced symphony and it does get better and then there are things that can help and you can help yourself more than you realize I don't think it's really commendable and and I can only judge you for sharing your abilities and somebody like yourself you has these incredible thought provoking blogs and does this amazing work out there too and she said you know what is that you don't like this every single day some days are bad some days all good and I tried to put that through find your voice in this is the whole purpose of the show is to show you these incredible people like yourself you are doing amazing things in the world but also showing you achieve they also feel just like you and me can only just out of a little bit more to the iPhone made the whole mental health and depression with yourself how did that kind of stem is not been something that you've lived with for a prolonged period of time %HESITATION has a comment more recently and so I would say it's a long period of time I think and it's not about four years ago and I was quite on well I had an operation that didn't go so well and it was actually needs to be quite a simple procedure and for the when not and my health kind of to tear it off the bat and I started to struggle with and as I say and and I think most of the time when it starts with anxiety depression comes in and from being unite sunsets hide under the the level of anxiety that yourself from it and isn't it possible that you'll need to talk and and a kind of been up and down up and down with that and is the most recently this year and I've been off work for quite awhile Austin I think about five months of work and an arrest rate the number and size he that was just just slows debilitate him am I spell into me in my head it was like I have to take a step away from my house take a break and not break man United not being able to guess what can kind of taking it step by step to unite basics like getting out the house and you know it goes into the shop doing things and and that was just it was reading reading needed or not and ashamed of having to take time of what or and you know needing further help I reached out for help and also quite a long time %HESITATION and it says services to do with mental health in the U. K. I'm not the best unfortunately and %HESITATION I did reach out and and yeah that's kind of China find my way from that place up works thank you for sharing that I am so I'll I like what you just said that you were in a shamed of asking for help and I can only imagine for some people this thing that might be an actual problem it what should be an obstacle what would you you sort of just hardware this without sounding too clumsy have you got any pieces of advice or anything that you could maybe just say sorry for putting you on the spot here to somebody you may fail slightly ashamed or maybe that they don't have somebody that they can reach out to confided %HESITATION I would say that what you're going through is not unique it is not just you and the happiest of people have their down days and although you may feel that you'll learn a bit more severe it doesn't you know that the similarities all that it doesn't get better unless you reach out and if you are honest about the way your freedom with the the someone around to your GP and I think it's impossible not to take someone seriously and that kind of stress and that's the best that just saying you know what I'm not eating right and haven't been seen in court for a long time and this is how I feel you may not have a name for it and that's absolutely fine describing your symptoms to someone else and I'm sure we'll get that something is valuable in order to come out and kind of new to the next that I love that I just want to touch on something now she said not all I have suffered with anxiety for I'll be say I'm I'm trying to do a lot of self affection and love self awareness in terms of going back into my story and I think it really stemmed from around the age of eleven or twelve or nobody to secondary school and I think when I went second school it was a grammar school so his boys school I went from being the smartest kid to no longer be the smartest kid in a lot of things start to change and more confidence definitely took %HESITATION hovering in going back to the point you mentioned getting tired from exile Ian as you said that a lot of just switched on because I've never linked more tied this tunes I. E. and I am very health conscious and sometimes I'd sit there and I'll be like I Ian right off hydrate I've exercise I've slept well why do I fail almost apology cool we just kind of tired of the you've hit the nail on the head that because a lot of it is just nervous energy dom always kind of trying to harness analyst trying to push down or the time that sometime just leaves me feeling black if if the yes any sense of where he was listening and you kind of get in those into something that's something that she deftly raises a flag and maybe then do what I was just mentioning times just reaching out and it won't get better until we take that first step so I'm always conscious of trying to make that first step and not almost ending in pressure because a similar depression is done to my family and I can only sympathize with people who are going through because it is real and although we don't see on the surface is something that we definitely need to be more mindful of so thank you for sharing that I off of the seats %HESITATION it's a personal matter but I know that you are blocking it is something that I only read one if I'm being completely transparent I really did enjoy you said a call which resonated with me from the start which was we take for granted what works well how does automatic about bodies and I love that because it's only until it's gone is only until I started because we shy and I just and fearful of do we support things that speaking to people looking people in the eye that I realized high we'll check it out for granted and of see for yourself I'm sure it's more of a health perspective so if we look at today than what's your routine like in terms of how do you call open how do you best put the odds in your favor to daily basis am I think the best thing at is sleek estable and I've noticed a big difference between how I feel and throughout the day even when I was like related to the topic I haven't months I will try to make sure go really good and it's time routine okay %HESITATION skews me and and that involves not just making sure I get to bed at a decent time and kind of relax and unwind it at night also when I get up having another routine energizing say that good balance is having equal because I find that once your sleep and as soon as you wake up your mind just %HESITATION into your and default habit is it connected I would just bring you down straight away and cast them as soon as you get up and that's important and I will say fine not exercise is quite good on charts and be active in the morning last night a minute and it could be something like yoga it could be like her you know like it's not being made %HESITATION something that gets hot race and the thirty minutes is cool down the stretch and breakfast is something off on us meeting Poulsen minute can instantly change on and you know from not having a and set to email and screen a much brighter and I'm with the I think goes along with Warsaw will taste some quarters and people underestimate how much work is I am not able to the body not just a pretty good mind as well and and they can show you okay and at least at least sat in a push it to to the specific time until at least early to abort and a day it's quite good am I stay away from caffeine sledding have any local fuel energy drinks or anything like that is he doing and I'm kind of %HESITATION meditation as well helps and I meditate throughout the day on the one comical right and I'll take five minutes to do meditation when I get out of bed right they wanted to meditational on unlock the inspirational videos to watch on YouTube or something %HESITATION and then at night the same thing meditation as well trying to keep the mind still for a day in order to just you know call on the booking the nervous system Justin and I just wanna ask on the meditation so I recently heard somebody mention meditation I mean I see a lot of people have been saying meditation is really really great tens of come in still in almost becoming present in the moment there was somebody else though he said something quite interesting although an expense that speaks about meditation Ascham so out of forty that is you %HESITATION what this individual she said was that he understands the whole premise behind being stay %HESITATION and kind of get you those tools and just leave it on a site what he actually said was that he kind of technologies he sports not he didn't go too much into the detail in terms of the whole practice have you any thoughts on that is it something that you do acknowledge all you've said negative thinking you may be trying to change it for a positive or is it the tree just twenty K. your thoughts in those five minutes it is impossible to create your force completely there is nine these can obtain you know it's not possible to have a moment where you're not thinking anything the mind is always always thinking always when I can the point is that you'll you'll able to acknowledge support or not let them conceding your mind is working you say it's okay to think and my therapist once knew well in it if I tell you what call peak wind chime burning on my head and now I do not I don't want you to think about wind chime twenty on the hunt can you do that she gave impossible Justin conquer it so it's about and I'll put it in terms of something I hadn't had space it's not costing ships so what comes into your head and not some issue %HESITATION and and the critical map hawks and another woman coming some older ask Warren out calls another one not combat anxious tool just a cost of knowledge it and it's no question I love the I think now he makes a lot more sense what he was trying to say because just misinterpreted it so it's all about acknowledging it nothing what you just said there were tens of this impossible to not to think of something I'm glad you said that because I've tried to meditate numerous times and I feel like every guest side not have especially recently they say this is a part of the routine and the reason I asked that question is because I want to take tips from people who have a high level of thinking will have been through more experiences and myself or just something that I feel would help me in my life and hopefully help listeners so just knowing that it's impossible not to think of stuff definitely helps me because when I sat there for five or six minutes I'm thinking about the most crazy things hello to all was that the things I don't want to be thinking about and then you almost conceive yourself and you'll get irritated could you think of the even more of a like your example just there so that's interesting I think well you need to do is I'm not actually trying to categorize and be like okay this is maybe a point a store this is a negative thought let's just trying to be the on and I like the posse ships ID out city a similar thing I think it was by prince EA where he had almost like a radio show frequency and he was kind of scene is in the post that %HESITATION possibly was like you just change the station basically so as a civilian ninety so thank you for sharing that in terms of your diet and then when I ask this because diet for me is just as in pourtant as the stuff you boys top brains so is your diet consisted of anything in particular are you quite flexible in terms of what you have %HESITATION it is it does consist of particular things out for instance I try to limit my sugar %HESITATION I actually gave up sugar for fund raising a couple months ago and and and I decided to keep it going it was literally no junk food and and anything with added sugar was not allow natural sugars like honey and three were allowed and but I didn't have anything and I found that when I start to to go back to ship a couple months later I realize the effect it had on my body so it would make me a sugar Russians work it may it will make me anxious or something because my body was just in that lot quite quickly I was just didn't know what to do and sorrow now what time he should get in in moderation and after having given out by accident can seem the same should I take before and which also helps on it be helpful our water as I say I engine Wilson sparkling water %HESITATION committee which most people don't live by law welcome aboard with lemon if you wanna make it more exciting playing well and was never went skiing %HESITATION I tried a I a lot for it and I. E. about ninety four this is a free trial offer and and making sure I have this isn't to say the big one is a must I'm absolute most is no way that you can have like one number eight or nine hours sleep wake up in the E. anything expect to be your best the day is just not gonna happen sign and breakfast I usually have a smoothie that been with me to what can they be like cordial cereal in the morning and ties Stefan put it as well and just and engine of was up okay fantastic so I was a key laughing healthy through that so I'm agreeing with pretty much everything you say and I love the steeple of the water and even the head space the only thing I was nodding a case was a spotty boy Paul will try it I can't stand and once as far as I'm going to a shop and I picked up the wrong one enough open the bonnet drinking why is this it's a horrible bit somewhere I'm definitely trying to let me and I'll let you know how that goes definitely I'm just interested actually you mention of fund raisers all was a fundraiser for that was full and cancer research that was back in February Newton locker a campaign called motion with regular and and and to be honest I was a sugar addict ripple that sugar was just my wife and I was like some people drink I eat sugar all the same at the time and they were all kinds of withdrawal symptoms but it was so worth it am I asked you to sugar has just changed I'm able to go without it now absolutely fine and when I do have a I have the in such small amounts now and it's just been a change great for testing good on you and was it kinds of for any particular reason or was it just because that was what was going on at the time and it was just for cancer research my story was and my name has awesome cancer quite he is a great breast cancer and I'm fortunate a couple years ago and my best friend passed away and she was under thirteen which cost right arm from breast cancer celebrities I'm sorry to hear about you not in your best friend cancer is obviously something I've spoken about on the show we've had some people you have actually lost love ones is always concert say it's a horrible illness and something that I think if any will confront raise anything and if next yeah they do that again why I'm a bit of a sugar addict so I do not mind is that so would definitely and I'm putting this live on Showtime is as committed to come before %HESITATION defeat join you on that journey because %HESITATION I'd love I'd love to help and %HESITATION race anyway dispenses so count me in next year then went off to do together yeah absolutely fantastic Britain so okay somebody seguindo but nice so I think that this is always to get to know you a little bit now in terms of you got routine you're obviously struck on trying to make an impact to your words more so probably than your voice at the minute but I'm very glad to see have you tell your story as well what I want to do is I want to touch on that time of adversity that you've been through in your life but more importantly what I want to do is if you could give sorry the listeners maybe the lessons that you've learned from it and %HESITATION Weiss tool you in that moment I think M. instead of what one particular situation there have been moments when our style right life is over for one of the great work and I'm I would say those difficult times news and greedy documents I stopped works and what I've learned is that a call and sometimes it's about the account in the second now you don't know how you can get through the day but if you can count five I'm in stock and then count the number five and I keep going until the seed impulses because of our redemption a lot and eight instead of eighteen holes I can't say the same for the passcode on past meetings and so those times have been very very technical and and looking back I feel like if it were to notify chose to go down that route and kind of you know and and my last that would have been hurt a AM a split second decision based on on something that I thought would make the and actually did it didn't and an inmate at best really hard to remember the moment it is something that and United we should it should stay with us it would help me Armin publicly %HESITATION have been a little time off work and hundred something I found difficult not only having time off work with dealing with why I was having time with work and not being ashamed of why I was having time to work and kind of being honest about why I was not black and and then got in fact we all do it I'm trying to get back into a routine which route one and try to get back on the whole wasn't specially checking well it can be done hello dotted nestled in very tangible is something that we can all probably take away not so much myself personally in terms of that life is over movement and I'm just grateful that you oversee realizing that moment it would have been a split second decision in office you chose that though the one dog I'm happy that you did but I just think that thing you said then as you're saying it about it will pass it good old body motions and just kind to five second the thing that's really really important when you say five seconds it it almost becomes something that you can achieve in city do so from telling someone just get for the I was there almost rolling their eyes at me thinking well you don't know what I'm going through this particular moment but if you just ask someone maybe just I don't control your breathing think about the next five seconds trying get through that just try to get through that and like you said it will pass and I think that's really really important because I am a worry yeah I I've got kind of pass away something very trivial could go wrong and I'm I'm screaming thinking it's the end of the world I've been not person and virtually consume myself and made myself %HESITATION from it and I think I'm in a much better place now and I just want to throw a mild all day on this not expel any ball I've recently read a book and it was recommended by my best friend is scored hime stop where you can start living by dell Carnegie so if anyone ever has an opportunity I'm not even sure if you've read that before out or if you actually need to but if you have it maybe for yourself in a state of war you wait ways consuming you that book is absolutely fantastic because what it would do is give you real life examples of people he almost concede that lies and died from stress because there's a great quote that says that it's not hard with that will kill you such you stress and stress has so many complications to it so if we can limit people stressed but you do use the five second rule which I think is Britney put for use not book I think would be a much better place now see that's what would be trying to do with the show so it thank you for sharing that I love that I hope you read much much better place now obvious you've got a lot more self awareness and a lot more tools in your tool kit so yeah thank you for that welcome and knowing what you know not and I'll what's your biggest fear %HESITATION gosh I think my biggest there %HESITATION I think a couple of things one of them is that I will hit my list again dot it's it's and go really well now and I feel good a nice days but there will be a point where I will kind of lose control of myself and and Hitchcock out for milk and then just two hundred square one if you want to call it and and not only that but I still like him the I don't wanna live alliance will run kind of as I felt fighting against my mental health and you know when I when I get older and I you know and talk on my desk get away from I'm just going to want to look back and silicon I didn't make the list the console was so focused on the in this thing out you'll be in this thing out I didn't have any experience is not an insurance so I don't have anything to show for my life on the don't have any good memories a pox on mental health statistics yeah it is and what not I'm just trying to model is that because of some not medically qualified to respond in relation to giving you kind of advice in that book when you said that he's controlled and hit your lowest again the reason that struck me love it was because my mom has been going through front page for eight years and I think that's probably her biggest fear and it's not fair over to want to go back and we sit there we you know we bounce ideas back and forth because touch wood it hasn't happened and things don't be forward three steps and will probably take two steps back Casey three steps back %HESITATION but one of the things is always always in the back you have that one day I've been in a bad situation and previously I was also in that situation is also is knowing that they're tough hasn't always been a part of me if that makes sense yeah and then dot com dries be from complete your somebody I still suffer with the silliest of I'm just moments in terms of just asking people questions of speaking to strangers and I have all these weird things that still can see me but I know there was a kid back then weather is the age of ten or eleven he wasn't afraid of anything and I kind of welcome myself daily to try to get that back and I have kind of shifted it I suppose slightly different yourself where is I don't want to be the I'm just going the only reason I don't mind that is because I want people to draw strength from that to see how to describe it he has suffered with anxiety he was always able to charge from or the teachers or the pay is for more work reports my colleagues but he's very quiet yeah here I'm not I've do not a lot of podcasts across the world so that's kind of I suppose life spirit I think you're definitely much more than somebody with mental health I mean this is just a very brief conversation but even through your blogging and I can be be touch and I'm sure there's other stuff that you bring to the vote that will always leave a legacy other than just somebody who had left the house so please never feel like that the presenter thank you so much you're very welcome I don't want to leave you then hopefully towards something that will cheer you up hopefully which is if I could say to you tomorrow we can take I think is and you can wake up and you could live fuel today what would be that they fool and it will probably involve right and someone and on the beach on a beach chair then and yeah it always involves words when I think of things that make me happy is and yeah something up and I'm just not in not that will kind of make me feel welcome I'm powerful locked into anything I could be somewhere in nineteen eighty seven I really enjoy and those kind of things not listening and you remember that there's more to this than absolutely %HESITATION her license absolutely I mean in relation to your your way it's and that you put so beautifully in your in your blog have you got any visions of maybe write books soul publishing house where was it just blogging that you really enjoy doing %HESITATION I'd love to write protection okay I have been working on something for a while and anxiety based and I'm not just I love him what's gonna on a small like and what could happen in the kind of connection as a book or books not will meet and greet and then select need quite absolutely absolutely I think you'd be great so we are actually going to completely different Polish on this policy was not something that you would have any idea about because I haven't told you about it but long story short it's going to be sixty to ninety seconds of just a bit of fun where we're going to ask you random questions just questions not related to your face T. not relate to anything I suppose that we could consider talking to put them in the bed covers so if you give the listeners a little bit more about your personality so %HESITATION whenever you're ready we're gonna get side okay coke north okay list nine three two one out if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be the death penalty your favorite hobby all rights and what are you sickly good out then nobody does %HESITATION crochet your biggest role model another consul in okay no problem and what would you like to be remembered for the positive happy I'm not missing people whenever they need to your biggest goal this year %HESITATION that would have green star in the mental health block and going back to work if you wish mistake being ashamed of having a mental health issue if you could relive one day again what day would it be identical words I think I'm I'm happy because the ability to fly it will be visible out the invisible instead of five the number one thing that I'm doing easy old five nine as please behind he's been on season nineteen money or fame citing that is you can use it positively and is lost money and it's a welcome pixie cheerfulness if you could sit with one person in the world for an a he would it be I think it will be mine and hit with a what is your biggest addiction %HESITATION buying books I'm not read in them your favorite motivational speaker would you rather know how you would die when you were done how your favorite place in the world my bed I think your favorite song ever Gabrielle by the late eighties junior each important event read my school predict the future read my finally your favorite CPO %HESITATION Wonder Woman what has he won the woman of my own how do you find that %HESITATION with excitement level good good good I just think it's always useful because sometimes we doubt so much into the stories of people I want the %HESITATION listeners to just get to know a little bit more about you intend your personality now those really interesting okay so we're almost at you at the end of the show where we just got two questions left one is going to be about legacy but before we got to that question I want to ask you about reflection also I'm a firm believer the hindsight is a wonderful thing as upon reflection we can always think of ways to get to where we are currently easier quick out with less heartache but I'm also a firm believer that the Jedi teaches us so much and that everything happens for a reason so what I want and always knowing exactly what you know now everything all your wisdom and everything if you could take that back to a younger out and whisper something into is maybe when she was a little bit anxious so confused in life what would you say I think I would say am I'll say it gets passed on it's going to get that song and your going to get better you're gonna involve so much as a constant and and and so and health issue is actually going to be something that can be a positive it's gonna be a superpower learn so much about yourself and you actually can pass any boys one at eight eight the competition you have to speak up I love that and suddenly that she does bring this to the last part of the show which is about legacy harm so now if in a hundred fifty years time signs found to say you me and everyone around us but all that exists is a book and this book is about you and it's about will be credible amazing things that you've done all the ups and downs as well festival with the title of the book say second what the Blair but the back tell us about you the title %HESITATION gonna change the blacklist okay the the black would say it would be a story about a woman who felt like and life was about to end multiple times actually she was she was really strong just hanging on and then when she realized that she was actually really strong and she was crying on her life changed completely and as for title nine and I'm thinking of Harry potter because I love have reports as it might be when he left which is the first chapter of the article yeah that's right yeah the woman in the and also just one out of the blood B. as I'm so glad that you never ended and then I do acknowledge restaurant is on and I just love the bit about not being ashamed and I just hope that people can take and draw strength from your story %HESITATION intensive let's not be ashamed of what we may consider floors because it can truly be a super power he can truly be our gift I'm a firm believer that I'd face T. although in that moment you might be thinking its debt to crumble you and kind of take away from you but in hindsight when I seriously sit back and think about with that the hardships of being through the stories I've heard from incredible gesso yourself it's achieve those moments where we sometimes find a purpose or we sometimes find that ability to tap into something that is cussing credible then maybe that's transpires for your writing as well because I I gave out I'm taking a guess it but I reckon you'll run you so much will power for now because it's probably so much emotion and experience that you've been through that you can put on to paper when you write those stories because your experiences so %HESITATION I always try to use that exist as a gift I know it's a bit key shape but I just don't want people to see as you know why the world after me because I don't believe this there are just because again it comes out about those cities that those W. touching the meat is a touch to stuff that can really detail life so well I actually just right thank you for sharing the what you said about most everything find out just before we leave the show and I give the listeners a chance to connect with you I want to ask is there anything that you wish that maybe I could have asked you that you would want to check with my %HESITATION distance %HESITATION yeah actually yeah right I have two children as well and I'm not just once that anyone here is suffering with the return of mental illness or mental health and they have children it's quite possible and to come thirty minutes a day even then you are responsible for that one yeah I love that I can I just ask that she just to touch that what's the number one thing you would do like maybe the people around you people who come in contact with you to do the reason I asked that already could you give United just in case that it didn't make complete sentences when I sat with my mom and I asked the what would you have liked because initially when she went through depression we have no idea what it was and especially coming from an Asian family was definite to be subject so is almost like why you depressed you know you've got you've got a house you gonna call you kids to find it is always that kind of mentality that surrounded it I'm obviously has been became more away with it and be understood it %HESITATION and so that you know it's it's a real illness one of the things she said to me because if you use that it was I just wanted someone to listen yeah I I didn't necessarily want to solve it because I knew you couldn't solve it well maybe just listen so is this something maybe it could be the same months or something that you'd maybe those people out there who may have somebody suffer with depression random what would you recommend and yes that is just listening and schools I remember that it's not a material thing it's not a physical thing it's not a situational thing although it can come from something that is environmental and it is perception abdomen lay side you know the person is talking to the pace of how they do things and how they feel about things you kind of a new team Hanson and saying well you know you have a coloring book well the war eagle to be sad about it's not going to do this by listening and bear in mind mind while still listening I'm kind of pinpoint and then to to crisis that can help you out thank you I love that thank you for sharing that and just as we finish the show now what is the best place that people can connect with you which of blogs and just maybe say hi if that's okay with you %HESITATION Instagram I love Instagram prohibit Tina my acts is L. formosa on to school LD and am I've got my dog on that and will say my email sighted people can can email me and my team always and I always say I haven't got Jay and me we can relate to something I placed hit me up in the T. I model is just once he left out of that message so I H. everyone to follow this amazing woman he's been very brave to share a story on today's episode of find your voice our thank you for taking time out of your day for sure you store and I wanna hold thanks for listening thanking and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Yes you can #36 by Stephanie TaylorTagline: "I inspired people to change their lives for the better and create the life that they love"An amazing story of a lady who rose from receiving benefits and struggling to creating a business generating £400k per annum and finding her voice through property.Stephanie Taylor is a successful property investor, a loving mother and someone who has changed her lifes circumstances and achieved her dreams. Despite being heavily involved and meeting through the Property this interview looks at Stephanie's personal story as a person. Ensuring I don't bore the listeners with too much property talk, we have kept incredible story to a lady who has overcome many odds.She has gone from minimum wage jobs, to being refused jobs, to building £100k + revenue businesses. Alongside this, she has established herself as a name within the property sector. She has overcome her own limiting beliefs, and she is also changing live for others. Stephanie also explains her vision is to inspire more people, to take control of their lives. Seeing the benefits it has done for her, she wants others to create their dreams.Offering a kind gesture to all listeners, or for anyone interested in rent to rent property, she has provided a link below just for our listeners!This was also the first time someone has shared their vulnerabilities and openly cried on the show. It was a moment you may not have expected as it was for a positive act. Caring, as we touch on in this podcast, the act of just doing nice things with others well-being at the front of your mind is powerful. It is a caring example that Stephanie shares which gets her emotional and also brings home a great lesson.Key talking points in this episode:The importance of your mindsetGrowing your skill set to be capable of achieving your goalsThe importance of caringHow to work on problem solvingNot attaching self-worth to circumstancesI sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow Stephanie's journey if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Stephanies offering: https://rent2rentsuccess.com/findvourvoiceFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/missstephanietaylor See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In this episode we look at consuming, making use of our morning fo a bit of self development and learning. To help you get started, audible do a free trial where you can choose your first book to listen to on your phone. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=jche-21

"The Hopeless, Homeless Hero" by Dave Heffernan #34Tagline: "Control the controllables"Dave Heffernan, has such an inspiring story. From the age of 5 his life has been about indirect selfless service linked so closely to adversity. it has seen him, become used to death at such a young age. It has seen him, cope with grief, death, homelessness and violence. Yet amongst all this, what Dave shows the best is that we all have a choice. He chooses gratitude, positivity and happiness. Dave has a perspective and mindset that I we can all benefit from to truly improve our own mental health and well-being.Now a pioneer for mental health and wellness, Dave is making a larger impact on the world and it was a privilege to have him on the Find Your Voice Podcast. He is truly sharing his voice. Dave and I also spoke, briefly in this episode but more so prior to it about his health conditions too. He will inevitably (as told by medical professions) become paralysed. Yet even At that moment he found a silver lining and now pushes further to help serve as many people as he possibly can. This show is about people like Dave. This episode is a blueprint for what Find Your Voice is all about.I urge you all to follow his story below:Some key discussion points:Making peace with your decisionsFinding the positives in adversityHow to control the controllablesThe importance of listeningImproving our Mental healthThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Dave:Website: https://daveheffernan.com/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daveheffernanltd/ (page)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/david.heffernan.969 (personal)LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daveheffernanspeakerPippa transcript:welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of your life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I am delighted to have to bring to you today a pioneer for mental health and wellness but more importantly than that a guy who truly cares and that's how would so what Dave although Dave himself actually because I'm self the hopeless home is hero and when I asked him one of the questions that run the show but he's so much more than that you see Dave has had to deal with adversity pretty much his whole life and I'm talking everything such as death grief abuse homelessness and even violence yes one of the things I love about Dave is he's attitude and the way he touches meanings to the events that happened in his life because after all we all go through adversity but we always have a choice you see we have a choice of whether where a victim weather where a Victor and Dave explains choices in relation to always try to be the Victor and always try to see gratitude in that moment he does that incredibly now we only touched on some of these adversities in life and I'm sure you're gonna agree that he's life highs definitely had its fair share of troubles and obstacles but one of the things that I really acknowledged about David are really was grateful that he was able to share not just with me but hopefully with you guys as well was his mind set his mind set is fantastic and whatever hits him he's always finding that silver lining and that is what makes him such a special character I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode I ended you or to follow his journey after this because I have learned so much and even since recording this my whole perception has changed dramatically to order the cards that I have been dealt so without further ado let's get this interview on the way okay brand so I'm extremely excited today to welcome Dave on to the show where we're gonna be hearing about his incredible story but more important even than a focus on choices now the theme of choices will become more apparent as we obviously dive into this episode but I think before we begin I'd like to face the welcome Dave to the show and Dave how you doing today I'm all the plans are you I'm very well thank you very well so if you wouldn't mind Dave could you kindly give us a summary about you story really in terms of what got you through life and where you are today yes certainly well I grew up in a place called out sold which the self Graham I'm just that and it was actually described in a channel four documentary as being one of the roughest council station hold your and my house bordered solve the dogs we all saw the docks which is now sell the keys weather ABC immediate six years I and as a five year old needs to go over there on the owner just watch the ships in the way because it was just a magical place I am a ball parks on the aces the docks closed down and would not thousands upon thousands of them on the plugs and skilled workers and so it became a very rough and crime with in place I am SO at age five I became an altar boy and I'm a local church with the promise girl I was with and I said my very first funeral five years old which is not normal I know only a lot my life a lot of people say that's not normal and and you know what is normal and the day is you know how you base your expenses and which becomes normal GA I sell other age five assimilationist funeral and between the age of five and a S. there go with four hundred funeral soccer game quite used to death and grief a very early age in this site really shades I am a life on several of a poem about life choices I am at but what it did allow me is on the edge of a gain on official grief counselor although she said next to me just bought a house out and I always say yes all the canal provides the walk could do was listen now I support and help hundreds of people have been suicide over the last few years and the biggest thing I could dig and anybody could do to save people's lives I'm not so just help people three mental health issues is the lesson about sequence in my mouth for a reason and so between the age may in nineteen the sent over four thousand funerals so I would consider myself an expert on grieving and death I am moving forward about three death threats seven three broken jaws to over the game itself and I've identified the young forcing you all pressed you your words when and many years ago was now each way okay and so a lot of variance in my life and every single explains I abroad I don't say that was a plus seven was a learning K. that could be taken from it I'm thinking of my experiences from a very young age I was able to and won the strategy is consistent with in my life which is now coming to I am now as a mental health and well being consoles and waking the likes the football association in Manchester I working wrestling condemn isn't just out in the sun life basically why are not fascinated so I see some of the stuff you mentioned there wasn't some of the summary that you gave me when we previously spoken so much the god that you did that because it's given me a bit of an insight into some of the questions actually was preemption to ask you on the show so five years old you've almost become an official grief counselor now you just said it yourself that isn't really considered normal especially as we're kind of in that stage were very my double the car just finding out who we are I want to ask you a little bit but not then so do you feel that has had a negative impact on your life growing up in terms of how you've handled it what do you think that you are better equipped for the investor no I got don't see negativity that's all because I didn't know dot wasn't normal no that was my life and so you just go through life specialists of Jim gauge just accessing this is what it is you know kids of a guard out just putting his respect so just saying all is calm of it you know kids are very resilient and we don't give them the credit they deserve and so by you walking into the church I'm yes I remember the very first time I did it I remember clearly the coffin was higher than me I was calling government and all citizens not and then it was a quite intimidating you know the five year old I am for it was you know is currently building you know when you've got a hundred and twenty one one thirty people all crying four five six years old as you know all I could day was focused on what I was doing about sign site with the job site with the for the priest that whatever is fed in all of them the bread and the wine our weather is sad the holy communion or whatever it may be and may our number must process in my bonus and you know but with a four month on this I just have to be present and focus on what was then in the now and not with what was happening all that in the future you know so backtracked Cassie any negativity it's all about it you know it's how you is how you shape your experiences and how you react to them absolutely absolutely and I think you also to turn a brilliant point is all we talked about listening not fully enough out you just released a very short episode this week about listening but not so much in terms of the mental health perspective which is what you've touched on and the reason I think that is an important point I just wanna raise a gain but you said is because my mom suffered with chronic depression she still does for the the best part of eight years so up until eight years ago meant to have to be wasn't really it wasn't important from completely honest it wasn't part of my life was a Pontiac on these life as obviously I've started to live with someone are you my best friend who's not going through this stuff obviously became more aware and the more I speak to people with mental health heads above the premise behind the show as well the more I realize is that you've hit the nail on the head that listening is so important sometimes they don't want you to you instantly trying to fix that problem will solve it sometimes it just wanna sound board just for you to hear a man that you want is to actually feel like they might and their opinions matter something must be for that you said that and just in your line of work as well I can imagine how important it is for you to observe doing that as well as Muslim parts and the thing is what people going through depression is very real you know you get a lot of motivation speaking you gotta live people or therapist how often the pace you know I don't want to come here as a ball of therapists pedal faith you know and they give you a little bit to the field it faster I have talked about the private side of things rather than so then I just sighed and we'll give you a little bit to make you feel that that's about let me still list what if what if what if and then also bring these people living in or can't get out as at least to be with this life is a lot more and why there is my top line is my job is to be out of a job you know if I got somebody six months five on three months down the line on the still suffering and I'm doing something clearly wrong you know I'm not giving them the best and the support I could possibly give them I saw by listening you know is one of three things in all three things are prevalent within and depression anxiety not a fait regret off again this line based on my experience lost right by that is you know I see this on a daily basis I thought of it I'm sizes bit based fed weapon what if you know why because long do you know where to go out and everybody lost whatever may be I saw by listening to these people and allowing them to get let go of the package I'm not sure judging them it's got to be without judgment absolutely and by allowing them to be how the space is a space you can find out where the language in the town is fed riven all regret that right now is to begin this issue that sells all somebody sauces motion of physically I think that's how I get to the root cause quickly by listening I had a language had its own I listen to the words of using I don't sideways favorite graphic given this within dive straight into it cost on passing this really really useful to know I think obviously for people listening as well nine one the point desperate so just also is on a one to ask a question I'm not sure if it's actually relate to the profession that you're doing now you mentioned that you had death threats broken Joe was is that because of the line of work you do know is is this going back to your previous chartered when you came up in a rough area and a half and half really and trouble follows me I don't know why okay so far I think what it is I I just Constand justice and I'm not one of these and that can walk away from situations where somebody is being done by and I saw one example was I was working in our reach and projects in the red light district in Manchester I was working one young girl for seeing kilo he was sometimes harrowing shoes in a real estate eyes came as no one wants to Dave I need to die now our support people who want to die I've only ever had one who needed to die and so we what would have about three months trying to get the whole parking arise Irish gay buys me about three most lasers at Dave I wanna make a meal I want to go back in childcare so we arranged to meet the next day to Gary begins this should be for mobile phones and it's that so we can just pick up the phone is a lot of orders get out of it I saw we arranged a meeting the next day she panicked and told him what your plans a date I'm robin like Dolly downs in petrol and then all life so I get I get the calls going I've been spotted shingles body has just job remains is mostly when the size of a safe I am and so I went straight in saying the red light districts can for this pain now this guy was a six foot four black you making out he was huge and I will I will I look back it five or six outside one day you know looking a little bit in this and I and you know one of the day one of best advice I can give anyone is don't make decisions when you're stressed I was extremely stressed out point anyway instead right out me and he left me for that he got me a job and is that a lot of services you back to my steak and I will tell you now I want a job very depressed chin off the lot I tried to kill myself it was half onto the vans while back at it I am a ball I had so much guilt and shame because all I kept on thinking about was why if I were to go out one night she pushed open a life but when I was back in the also by days and does not yield I actually asked the priest I am when I was eight years old and how to live a life no regret it all gets on him with these people saying I wish I want to spend more time with that as an hours were spent more time with him Hey all which is about the argument and the presets miss its image to make peace with the decisions they still alive no regrets I made these re dozens immediately but I'm Bob if you were done it with a sound mind but it and even if it wasn't a sound mind occasion extremely stressed on groups high on whatever then you wasn't a place on mind in order to be able to regret if that makes sense because on happened I sell for about three months I was in depression pockets and trying to find the positive captain John's final engagement and it was so difficult but then I realized control controls about time we could not logistically got Hallam I'd like to spend one night it was impossible I was amazed at how quickly the relief comes upon you when you start seeing the pasta sauce in the landing gear and what you could control them we can't control I'm gonna start thinking about and you know what she was going through at the last moment in their life I don to me nobody CAD hi there was only fifty he watched as shown any signs of carrots in their life I'm not gave me a sense of empowerment when I thought you know what I'm doing good you know what and she was dying at least she would have really realize that there's always one person cannot support life on the line to help I'm not coming through you know I don't give myself and feeling the guilt and shame also for giving the painful why did the big gap ball just to disassociate out pay not he wants to make the case as a result of his actions and tried to kill myself or went to depression I and you know nobody should have that power I had given him I'm not so mad good three for moms of run allies and we never single day until it felt natural I am ultimately you know the pain was taken away once I gave some regret fanfic given this in the three if you can get and that along your life will be so content and stress free I can show you Dave that's up to the amazing give you resonated with me there on so many points I mean I've got a numerous amount of things I want to talk about I think first as we say it's very odd mobile in terms of what you did you know you did everything that you could to try to try and help that poor Gail so I'm very very glad that you managed to forgive yourself afterwards I'm just on the forgiveness side in terms of what the pimp did and you said you forgave someone the reason that resonates with me is because I was a soldier left for that as well and it was it was a crossroads in my life and I probably didn't go to the same extent of depression obviously my circumstance was slightly different but one of the things I would say is that when I forgave that pace and and I disassociated that paid more my life became so much better I I was able to find beauty in stuff again I met my wife I I'm things despite changing for me massively and forgiveness I don't know if this is a male thing I don't know if it's just because I'm a stubborn passing growing up and it's just my character it was difficult there was there was ego attached to it doesn't wash off to give somebody else and is what you just said they had power over me and the moment I kind of I actually it roll it out myself and finally to fight you sent on Facebook because I knew the person was and I wrote a message saying I must be forgiving you for me not not yourself because I I'm not even sure if that person remembers it first always to if that yeah if the categories below that I need to do this for me and when I did that according spend it was almost like instant dot I had this relief over me so I I think this view from I'm so glad that you've done that but it just shows I mean you she said trouble follows you initially I was thinking what is Dave up to on his case but I to be what you are trying to do is that you just try and save and I get you I get that feeling of injustice when you fill that especially I think when somebody else who's the more helpless than yourself is in this situation getting taken advantage of I think another thing I just want listens to really take home from it other than the three important things that day stresses control the controllable was yeah and if I may do a quick segue then I want to speak about the stuff that you told me prior to coming on the show which is obviously what we haven't touched on but I think a game is definitely going to add some value to Alice this so if it's alright with you Dave just in terms of some of the health complications because there was a pivotal point when you made a choice and it's not choice I really want to kind of delve into and what this this to kind of take a lesson from the from me yes so other what we're talking about here is the C. functions and other health I am so years ago a spy game breathless and make up the point where I can even by the bike down hill without being out of breath I'm and I went to see the doctor is in the got the same cost my no you haven't yes how many got a boy I never actually got back Klaas about so we lose not strange and we've got that class of dogs and the doctor actually can there are protests do we really know allow us man we did the COPD test which I'm never smoking a lives on it wasn't anything that never would rust vessels and I lock for what he did get a build out awesome and so they said yeah you got something going on we along so well since it along to someone someone someone console and said yeah you got out of time as far as you sent by one costly and now it sucks out the eight percent by one class A. IRA got paralyzed die from well they don't believe the standalone so sexual and mountain religious then and the knowledge that all the tests tomorrow said yeah you've got Iran Iraq from all your own disease Sargon from last night yes it's a box the moms come must match the Harmonia owns these anyway so I was on day six times a day and plus Martina was I was like a zombie it was horrendous I was moments in every day and most ineffective headaches we've got such a you know I can do the basic things like going to flow in the children play jigsaws I think also point why apple only hearing of the moment is no no no when the bodies are asking the simple basic docked things play football or may do this do not I have all the people of Bob let's say no you know and so a long time sampling insight and how the topless Raquel Altamira Hache bottom side effects now through my experiences well you know what I'm I'm quite blocking why I'm very good at taking the emotion now situations now looking at the fox and I thought you know what black and white I would rather be in pain and broke free and be in pain I have a lot of books in the system out and side effects so I said to my wife is a rock coming up on the topless and I came up from overnight I she she was there in the old up room he gonna die you gonna die yeah I said you know what the only person in control of may is may you know I don't mean about why are negative ways for I've got to make the right decision to make my body I when you look at how the body works anyway isn't is a genius to recall we just abuse it you know I know you know there is hope that we can fix so many things and we just feel it right and actually you know do the meditation do the yoga do whatever needs to take as a fuel line so how about ten days of shit hell it was horrible balls in a spot left in the fog closing was coming I could stop walking about federal occurs logging on the floor playing the kids I'm once you get a little bit of hope was amazing no big the light is you know you start seeing the future again stop seeing what's happening a soul as I get a bit more of a better quality of life and they're all just because of the free I was honestly and all about eight weeks ago I am my back is been called me a lot of pain and so I went for an MRI and engine I'm all right and they said the August of a spinal canal stenosis which also means I will to power lines at some point now I've just put me back I watched in those couple days I'm not able to walk properly it's been a nightmare I am I saw once okay so and in the seventh year private canceling because the NHS about eighteen weeks and then he somehow manages and I said look awake in mental health did you know cost I just called to say that is I don't want all through her bedside manner when is his worst of anywhere and you may as well talking to dignitas because at least you got nice holiday Swithland I am and for those who don't know what the process is is the place where people go to end the life legally in Switzerland and why is basically saying is because of my lungs and the way the violin capacity is one on your own everything else he said there was a hundred percent chance of death on the operating table so the choice I was now faced with was desktop Rosi's which you know not many people help us all Giles in the life is usually showing up at economic I'm as I'm with Josh and I have a I and my overall overwhelming and emotional about signing wasn't one of mine and stress it was actually graduate and banks eyelash ISIS shook him by the hand of the Jenny when I thank you from the bottom half of the way you've explained it to me and it looks a bit shocking if you use them well if you were to said there was a sixty percent chance of dying on the table but not may well have been going through my mind constantly which were struck by the time away from my kids my stretches time with my kids I wouldn't think about it my way is it worth the risk where is now you said you got homes and John the dying it's taking not this is not my hands now provoke someone I want to focus on which is a plus the things in my life I can still have a relationship when the boys in a wheelchair account of him that you know so that's all I think again there's always something to be grateful fall it's just we don't want to look for it very sorry to hear you consistent house from was there but I just think it's B. for how you or somebody who's been faced with those adverse to all this trouble and stuff and you still see the gratitude side of it and this was at you while I want to speak about the star of the show but you got to answer the question and I think it lies in the hundred percent that the console came back with so when they said you had a hundred percent they took that decision out of your hands and obviously you were left with one choice but even so then I still think you made an incredible choice that I think the list is content value from is that it's very easy to sit and feel sorry for yourself I think why me I don't deserve this the world's after me I'm always trying to be a good person I'm always trying to do good stuff was a calmer this broad just think is be for that the first thing that came in your mind was okay cry shoot what kind of take from this wall the positives from this and this is kind of all want the show to be about we're going to be hit with life you know from different time people had bought cards out to assess and time some ways to know this but it's about one supposed to that we can just draw from this what moment off hoping you system debut for a year on his bike and hope back in that little girl is always let's get the whole back in our eyes as well as individuals this is a question you know you say why many people it's not a question that you can I sell why not me yeah you know what makes me so special why I should get the address Yala stress all whatever you know the end of the day I truly believe we we only given what we can handle via email and I'm very I'm using this as a way of spreading the message out like you know what no my how things get yeah there's a quote by Jim Rohn one moments also I think he's just a genius I am I am one of those quotes and all I'm paraphrasing a little bit below a side and after every recession this growth of the darkest hour blow is symbolized you can't get the glory can't get the really good stuff yeah without going through the doctor's is it possible that we all are stressed now live we can't do anything about but what we can do is how we react to it what we can change our reacts like and I don't see that is not one single person I can give me and an experience our situation where I will not be able to find a possible landing gear from every single aggressively both very expensive often will have a positive on a landing path absolutely I think that's a brilliant analogy in general is obviously one of my mentors as well as you were saying that was almost thinking very quickly let the adversity that I've been through enough though about how much wiser and how much more resilient how much stronger I I'm as a pace and as a result of it and although we in that particular moment you're you're going to wish this never happened but I'm so grateful that my whole perception myself awareness and everything that I've become over the last three or four years I don't think would have ever got that just by reading books or watching you two videos sold out in a way I'm grateful for I suppose in and maybe that's those are the words not because I've heard you say that but I am I know you always say you know why not me but it's very inspiring to his someone like yourself you not your messages to others who share your story out and hopefully change people's perception and the way that they see the road is on because if you can see from the way you see intent of this is look at the beauty from this let's just take a lesson from it them I think will be a much much better place definitely for the six okay now obviously your life and Dave is obviously a lot different to you say ten fifteen years ago of C. with health complications this stuff is all and I you got two young boys as well what's today's life than for you like a typical day several days I'll wake up in a guarantee that me eight year old eighties and Solomon but all laid on the bed next was involved the wife and the son and of the self control and it is extremely caring loving my twelve year old he's got this box here and and is on the autistic spectrum and got some eleven to go is and is now is say Thailand good lately well day now when nobody is looking and but yeah he's just bombed by use of that the first thing people say I am a which gives me the Spanish right away to get open stop doing and is it you know I would be racism drop into the question you know we're only a fine line between depression not the question and and so seen those in the morning and it gives me a strand stretch the Waco best thing to do is I'll just lie in bed and I'll list off in my mind and that will mean changes after the day and also walk I'm grateful fall before he went off and I am a great fan of visualizing and and just understanding now let me out of control of how our day and happens and then I'll go downstairs of breakfast and usually the Bosnian skill and I always say the fast off hours right now it's just meditate and you know I can meditate with boss people talking to me I can just jump into it now and and then I'm ready for the day a lot of the day and the the first question I always ask guaranteed when I stopped into wet mold is you can help that's the first question I always ask yourself why he can help it's not about money is not about fighting you know a lot of my life has been bouncing around in the background now I mean I'm not now I'll set this business of in the last year or so Abbas available in the form of in the background and you know the signs when why who don't realize this I am at all I then think about well actually doing this all thing I'm going to speak in say a hundred people off thousand people which you know even if it's only five percent of the people want to take on board what site basta lot change now so yeah the border and the solving the bass and I I don't have I don't go through life with a plan now and I'm not I'm not a big plus I just say I just take off to anywhere Jim this is I am a tree everybody's equal and respectful I and thank you know good things are tracking go things to me so what is your intentions and what version you know forget about how you get that they also self out devil of that message I think cam is something all I preach quite a bit as well in terms of intent is all and I just absolutely love your intense for the day are you cannot how and I can see that this genuine it's authentic obviously from hearing your box story in terms of see the work that you've done even now it's it's it's a selfish thing it's not like a promotional thing in terms of Hey look at me it's kind of let you guys let me help you move forward in life is on a really really do like that and I think we are in a society in I'm not here to kind of go off on a rant and stuff but there are people he manipulate people quite on social media in terms of trying to even make a ball I said things always almost like tell themselves and if you really grinds my gears it January does because I think I obviously come from a similar situation to yourself a lot of the the work I've done I've always tried to be selfless because I'm Linda from a mobile homes foster care she's adopted kids she was a nice a whole life why then gave a very lucrative job to become a social worker trying to change the world as a sort of a cat realize you quickly I could do that I have brothers and sisters at you from the foster care system you have got waters and special needs so a lot of my life has always been about savings and even this podcast itself is truly is a passion project my sole purpose when I do this episode is kinda just Spock one paces mine today and I've always done the and from the moment I released it irrespective of mild is always in the way of my accent was will be starring Anna being or the long I was I hopefully I can give someone dot of maybe inspiration that if I can do they can do more employees gay people it yourself on to the show to really change their perspective and make them realize actually we need to come by our excuses we need to face off is because that's where that's for the beauty lies in life and I'm sure they respect them for the bad things are going on in your life I'm sure even a much better place especially between your is that in your mind right not having suffered everything that you saw fit and the reason I asked about the routine is always because I'm a firm believer that we all results of the hobbits not before when a daily basis so it's nice to see you obviously how liberating gratitude you've got your kids stay the ship instant inspiration not sure why that gets you out of bed on in the meditation a game that is something that I really need to work on so the fact that you can just going to meditation at any stage I'm assuming it's because you've been practicing it for a long time yeah yeah stop it absolutely absolutely so think of just one particular instance date just for the the laces of when you paid for investigate it could be something that you already mentioned or it could be something completely different but what I want you to do is actually give us one thing that maybe somebody who has a similar predicament or similar scenario where they can say actually I can relate to that yes whatever experience and we go through and a lot of my experience is a lot of people comes afterwards all my life for the past year or so yeah for me for a long way because I don't really think is exciting and ball I think one of the things that have the biggest impact on me and people will so I relate to this war the been threw themselves on the scene on the news is when I was homeless and is a huge story at the moment being homeless and then I was sixteen on time when I was done on the house and my first night we spend ninety nine to this wall so what does he once he is running with all those years ago and I and my first night was spent in a very small great been shot full of cobwebs side there is but one dollar range run this on the clock and I was thrown out by and the reason why I was blown out is because I am I wanted to be a volunteer I wanted to sell the chalk at club and also went broke I am done once been a gallon he wants to escape self and the club address and I don't want to stay in self in the bay of address and as always was a log heads and we didn't see eye to eye in just three now the house so for two years more showers living above Rubino squats in cemeteries Simon pop and she is but during this time and I was all the dog inside the thought you know what why the plane going bottom down south saying sorry out in a gallon when it's a yes the knocking about shock at about one assault you know and one thing I always advocate is delayed I just yourself no no my you comes out of your life goes out you live as usual a lot a selling point as well as a lot of depression happens a lot mental health issues because you're not living it yourself you live in the store with other people and making out I am and so I was quite adamant that I wanted to get a shock at club morning because we have no internet no phones I got Dave that'll get signposted surveys jocks all counseling while yeah I just went to my plan I saw knocking on doors asking for money for the shock at club I and I one point I was in the same clothes I've been in about three months I was seriously on the white and I was still going on the doors and the receipt about two and a half thousand knows a lot of rejection because why would anybody gave a sixteen year old money is quickly close you know some money for his jock at gold is for drugs clearly now that's what I was thinking and so I met this guy yeah the council and said you know I want it's going to I watch yes games and now I really want to get a shock at global warming I and he helped me with that a business plan to go back to these offices to show them the business plan and see where and get the money I wouldn't twenty five knocks about twenty five yes isn't enough money to get a job at a club morning which is incredible join up out of the nose you know and then there's a great picture that we see on the internet somebody dig in this year's splice so my Dick in was a minute walking away another friend is apart goals I am is I always believe is out the darkest hour his generals and out the darkest hour anything you know what about people just get a bit more he's not this way the excitement is about when is when you want to give all I'm just a you know watch Lamar knocks one more email one more call us when a locked in when you are the lowest because just testing you see what you really want to and all I so I got this job that global warming and the plastic he's always the council and they run into the ground with a mostly closed now I can enjoy the controls I was emotionally spent on this point I was drained it was gone and I was in hospital as well on its own and was known under white magician why you want to call it I am at bottle everything all my energy into getting the shock a clock now what I learned from not a is you know see three to the very end now if you've got someone of your passion about see three other very and and if you don't as much as you can and you can no more just make peace it is not gonna really made in semi better you know I mean Paul I recognized by gone as far as the court I can't control the people's behavior you know and that behavior was I want money from their offices to regenerate itself but to put money into the council offices not to sell jog or clubs no I did exactly what I need to do I just I made I am my dream trade I am but what Bob was allowed me now is is give me an experience I can fall back on so every time I'm doing a project I make choices available when I pass all over I do my due diligence to make sure all bought you know about products developed developer Larry and get a scapegoat develops at some point may soon now I'm just making sure everything is in place so when I walk away it's gonna be that in five years time you know but without like Spain's we're doing the same mistake again and again and again and again you know Paul I didn't have and two years was a I was on the street on the sale of the book of data squawks other than almost hospitals you know I'm a mess Billy a silent people you know I'm I like the net almost as Lois offered I'm not block mage was the next number by the federal daily I and I was looking down on them and think you know your skull I'm my first thought was you know what this is my classmates call calmly these are my people I'm in this position so that ball is only fat I get to know them I respect I understand how the docks where they are as I used to ask questions to them and say you know I've just said that listens to them and some of the address alike the difference being as I could cope doctors say how could solve the problem analyze it naturally leave me through it which is why they got was not situation of armed robbery and anyway long story Shaw I've got a job and may never in a telemarketer place and I hated it with a passion also two days that made one single sale because I didn't make I am a single phone call I hated it I and I got socks and I went back in and there's a lot going on Monday when the wages on as a way not game thank you note delays and stock prices big argument honest I'm gonna see this place called a small man and when say it's for the money which is locked out a few weeks later I got knocked on the door and it was solved is the ID on I was arrested crossing the plate I slash identically smoke so I was placing seven and a half years in prison and I don't have a clue how or why this is happened by the demo tape the doctor I'll let you know I know I live by and miss all the pretty much depend on me foremost lasers answering bail and the Saudi offices that don't even play you can go as a volunteer but more than not and several somebody's actually own up to it so much contrast it turned out the the drug dealer there was a living wage I had not been arrested and Josh with it down into the police station on is what's where I can access only substrate going down they did date I think you're fast seven years now the reason why I say that story is because you've got some accounts so he with that to safeguard the children's future on that strangely round one interested yeah you get the proceeds come on the air the armed robbers look dealer because I treated them respects because I listen to them because I don't to start well they had a story when they need it save the actual the looked a lot when in and confessed and got some yes free on my behalf you know so lost just shows and from that point on I talk a lot in the connection speak in a subtle about pre judging in business just treat everybody respects organised on the everybody's got a story your son is being that it's just yet the golf story the gonna solve issue that we not been able to watch the results themselves problem some slack give them respect say I'm here for you if you want to talk about it if not just walk away by Alicia tried don't reactionary supports about negative it's a treat everybody with respect equally and it will come back to have holes in the future a currency that's yes this is a Dave I understand entirely now what people are saying that life is so boring compared to yours because it's such an incredible story I just them I get a bit emotional when I just see let people do really good things for people like do this office act so that act there from the seat scum of the earth is just absolutely it's it's a beautiful lesson it's a lesson for us all to obviously take on board and again you've you said the right words that we need to call people slack when somebody maybe approaches in the wrong way or that might be having a bad day but if you could just or treat each other with kindness and respect I think the will just be in such a bad place but there's another brit lesson to gain that you touched on it I want people to take home is persistence two thousand five hundred knows now there's a lot of us including myself don't even wanna get rejected once and I think we have to get used to you know where is my perceptions change or not not for example I am in property so the amount of rejection from stages is incredible and I will say not every time again no it's okay but now one step closer to that yes again it's just it's just a note saying I say to myself and not kind of destroys me on to go forward so I think not gain is an incredible less and and on that note we aren't you going to go into a part of the show which is a very random policial I'm not sure you'll even aware of this but what I do that is just for about sixty to ninety seconds just a bit of lighthearted fun just to kind of give the listeners I love it more about you just a bit more of a flavor because obviously sometimes the stories can be quite dog so this is just gonna be a bit of lighthearted fun so are you ready I'm ready okay fantastic so we're gonna stop in three two one if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be hate crime Muncie on Monday night many night good choice your favorite hobby read it your biggest role model my sons what would you like to be remembered for the cat your biggest goal this year S. speaking in New York your worst mistake not me the wife early enough if you could relive one day again which they would it be well I didn't die the ability to fly or be invisible invisible the number one thing that annoys you not by males money or fame now that you're proudest moment John cat global movement your favorite food that isn't ships what song best describes your life Elvis Presley walk a mile in my shoes if you had an extra hour day how would you spend it on the bodies Netflix the jeep Eugene your number one piece of advice to your children yes self our favorite motivational speaker calyces I'm finally if you could sit with one person in the world for an hour he would it be but one that mom side love that make so how did you find out hot hot again the beautiful thing with this is obviously people can take as long as I want really to answer the questions and all the sudden caught the dead space so it makes you actually look like a must the mind intense anger I answered straight away okay we're almost at the end is shown I Dave so I'm a fan believe the hindsight is a wonderful thing and upon reflection we can always think of ways to get to where we are quick cash easy at Willis heartache but I'm sure you'll agree that obviously the Janie teach to so much as well so knowing exactly what you know now if you could take yourself back to younger Dave and whispers something in that person's yeah what would you say I would go but it's the first night being homeless find out west in the they all went south they all went sour is yeah everything's very reason evidence rallies on alphaworks out just a sense of hope yeah it's just people get you know I don't know people get bogged down in how how how to get to a place house the this you know if we just relaxed and just trusted Argo and did what we felt was right mmhm then it will never send you in a long path yeah hi my name is and your address pop and you know not very nice pa every single one when I look back and I do mean all of me speaking now I want to die was a look back every single aspect of my life and it's been like therapy I and I look back a sliding doors moment some water you know what I'm I'm not change anything I think you stories incredible not enough I think we've all got a story to be honest yeah we can order back in the console cut the moments is sometimes it is just about actually acknowledging it and not does suddenly bring us on a key to the last question and the last question I always ask one of my guess is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty years time science house to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you Dave and it's not all the way in a wonderful incredible things that you've done in life you know the life that you've touched firstly what with the title of the book B. and secondly what with the summer at the back tell us about your side of the ball I don't know and hopeless almost zero I love that yeah Linda and the Blair probably say something light it had an impact some more lives than actually name and it was okay without involved yeah yeah I think that's brilliant I'm Dave just before we close the show will give the list as a chance love to connect with you via social media channels is there anything that you wish I had asked you today no no it this court is court yes towards pretty much everything okay fantastic well if there is obviously anything people come to connect with you I would definitely order my list is to connect with Dave after the show Dave where is the best place people can reach out and send you a DM life playground Islington and which is Dave happens speaker you can get me on Facebook as well David half men and bought my Facebook page is not talked about moment except Paul manages an online okay fantastic I what we'll do is always to get day anti links and open the show or not so just to make it easier for everyone they let you have to click it I want to thank Dave for sherry he story seventies vulnerabilities and shown his wisdom fun today show and also wanna thank everyone at home thanks for listening thank you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to be liked more by listening better #33 by Aren DeuTagline: "If you want to be considered interesting, become interested!"So listening is a skill that many of us probably believe we already have. I mean after all, for the fortunate number of us who have our hearing we have used our ears all of our life. From hearing people talk to us, to dancing around to our favourite songs our ears have brought us a lot of joy. In fact, music alone is something that instantly can change my mood, and as I write this summary I have thought of point number 6.Now points 1-5 are in the actual episode, but number 6 which has randomly cropped up between my ears is this: Think about how you listen to your favourite songs. Think about how much attention you give to the lyrics, words and cadence of the song. It's usually not too long before you actually know the words off by heart and end up doing your own covers, right? Now imagine if you could give that much attention when listening to other people. Do you truly do that? Or do you switch of mid conversation? Do you try to interrupt them half-way through? I mean, I've yet to listen to a song and interject my artists by saying "i just don't agree with that line".Now in case this sounds like an extremely random example, I assure you it will make more sense when you listen to the very short episode giving 5 tips on how to become a better listener. To truly become a great listener, we have to see it as a skill that takes effort and practice. It is very similar to speaking. Yes we can speak and shout and sing, but how good are we truly?Key talking points in this episode:Things not to do when someone is talkingHow you should react when someone is talkingWhy you should do the above, to build better more meaningful relationshipsWhen to solve problems and when to just be a soundboard for the person.I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. It is a simple skill, we so often overlook. We are a result of our habits, and if some of you out there find it difficult for people to engage with you, trust you, or even talk more openly to you. Then you may need to assess how you listen. Take a real long look at yourself. Self assessment is key to growth and on this journey we all want to become better and reach our potential. We all want to find our voice and write our own story, but we all want to be heard too. So let's work on our listening and level up.P.s. Remember this episode applies to all walks of life. So try it at work, with your friends, family or even in public when a stranger crosses your path.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Never alone" by Kathy Courtney #32Tagline: "We all more powerful and stronger than we believe and capable of healing from so much more than we think"Sexual abuse, failed businesses, seeing ghosts and so much more has been a part of this amazing women's life. Yet above all these words all I found and saw was true strength. I see a lady who has overcome so much, but shows us all that we are so much, that we are all so strong and capable.We often get into comparisons in life about who struggles the most, but when you hear someone who has been a victim of childhood sexual abuse, only to then still not have an easy ride throughout life but remain radiant, positive and wish a mission to serve others, you can only sit back and smile in admiration.I am so grateful for Kathy sharing her story, showing her vulnerabilities, showcasing her courage and also letting us into her world. Intuitive energy healing is now something she helps so many other people with, as it was the key driver behind helping her overcome her childhood memories. A lady who is on the journey to finding her voice and gaining confidence in spreading her message and one I feel will definitely leave her mark in such a great way.Some key discussion points:Sexual abuse is not your faultUnderstanding supernatural giftsOvercoming business failureRealising your true purpose and passionUnderstanding how strong we truly areThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Kathy:Instagram: https://instagram.com/kathycourtney7?igshid=1l85l6voewk99Website: https://www.kathycourtney.net Pippa transcript:welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode a fine your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I'm delighted to have to bring to you today Kathy and Kathy story is one that told me so much in such a short space of time in fact I wish I met her a yeah because what Kathy told me and I'm sure as you listen to this episode it's going to teach you to is that we have so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for I mean how many times have you been to something I think it is going to break you to find that said she made you or if it has a major in that circumstance is definitely made you more resilient more stronger so it's kind of what I want you guys to walk away after this episode is to try and maybe step outside your comfort zone and embrace that fear and take on that little bit of pain maybe for some future gain because I promise you when you head Kathy you see that she's such a more beautiful place right now I have suffered all this incredible amount of adversity from the sexual abuse to losing business is so much more you're going to realize that the human will it's strong it's so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for so I am delighted to have hi there on the show I am extremely grateful that she opened up with have under bill ease and she opened up with this story which is something that I think of the city's more exposure in the road it's something that I wish one day be quit completely see the end of but sadly if we don't what I do want people to do is know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel so without further ado people thank you once again for treating it and I hope you enjoy this episode let's get over to it I want to welcome to the show Cathy thank you for taking time out of your day to come on and share your story how you doing today I'm doing amazing thank you for having exciting I'm happy to be here bless you thank ya I'm extremely happy to have you on the show as well so I was always just a leading to a yeah there's so many elements of your story that that I could relate to but there were also some stuff in terms of the emotional trauma that you experience as a child there's a lot of grief there there's a lot of stuff that we just spoke about very briefly prior to star in this episode that you realized five my life wasn't as normal as you have so it wasn't yeah so I think it be a great place if record if you could stop by maybe give the listeners a little bit more about yourself if you could kind of open up and tell us as much as you feel comfortable with your story okay yeah perfect and so I am the oldest of four children and that those parents were in the home and my dad worked to my mom was a stay at home mom and an eight a one to start with my dad because I see the ad and learned a lot from him my dad %HESITATION contracted polio when he was a very young baby so he was handicap his entire lice on it so I really felt that my first lessons in %HESITATION being compassionate and really being resilient and strong came from hen and watch seen how he dealt with %HESITATION adversity and his life because %HESITATION you know having a parent that wasn't able to walk slowly and eventually in a wheelchair and you know he made sure that we did all the normal things that kids do you you know took us to the beach sand tickets to you you know I'm use net parks and now being a parent myself and those things are hard just for you know up at appearance but but it but now realizing %HESITATION with the disability that he had you know why %HESITATION those things are so difficult and he never complains on he never held back from anything so really I think those were the first lessons that I learned where from him %HESITATION and then there there are two parts to my childhood that really led me ops you kind of the work that I do now which is the reiki healing and also %HESITATION I am a medium so I do you know mediumship readings and I my first memories %HESITATION being a child's where that as being sexually molested at a very early age by my paternal grandfather %HESITATION and dotted use lasted for an extended period of time %HESITATION between six and seven years and %HESITATION also during that time I was starting to experience %HESITATION what what most people would when baby label as supernatural sort of experiences and and by that I mean I would see shadows which now I understand and spirits %HESITATION I would see shadows as animals and people and and the way my mom kinda described it sees that there was always something trying to get my attention so I would be let's have a deep cleaning my room and you know little things that happened things would come off the wall where I would feel a presence in my room and and then there were lots of things that I knew that there was no way of me possibly knowing friend stands I would say %HESITATION the phone was ringing and so once I was calling and my mom would say well the phone's not even ringing and then a minute or two later the phone would ring with the exact same person that that I would say would call and I also had %HESITATION an out of body experience when I was about six I think I was six or seven years old and I might grandparents lives sort of in a in a open kind of country field and they had thrown some sort of poison out for that for the rodents I think and %HESITATION being a little kid just kind of curious %HESITATION I happen to eat the apple is and so fast you know started bleeding internally and you know rest the hospital all that kind of thing and I clearly remember leaving my body and you know I could see the nurses and doctors and all this work being done on my body and so those were memories that I had that I never I didn't understand what was happening at the time and I think a lot of it I did explain to my mom and you know she has seen what kind it is say well let's pray about it or if you would say let's got insert search %HESITATION something like that and then those experiences to students start happening and so she had to move a couple of times because you know she thought well maybe the house was Hines said order and and those those type of things on and so you know that happened throughout my my tile tied on and then when I was about twelve or thirteen my grandmother passed away and %HESITATION I remember she came out of sort of a bathroom stall and you know there there's a mere right in front of me and she appears to me in that mere %HESITATION so those are all things that where we're really %HESITATION you know I wasn't scared of those things you know you're not scared until someone tells you that you need to be scared and exits are wasted it was just a normal thing for me and I thought well does this happen everywhere I just really had no idea yeah at that time %HESITATION and so you know so being you know sexually molested interviews at the time and and that's going on you know it was definitely not what you would say your normal tight why yeah I think I'm gonna have to agree with you that because we were speaking I was trying to say obviously the premise of this show is to let people know that not always alone in in their adversity that they're suffering be you've definitely touched on some stuff that it's almost like a combination of extremes are suppose I've got so many questions I mean is if I may so firstly I just wanna say your dad sounds absolutely incredible and I think he's amazing the fact that I think especially that generation as well with the just the just get on with stuff and and I really love that and I think you almost had like a fish row seat at seeing how to deal with adversity and how to displace life's challenges which probably makes you so strong and empower you know when I can hear yourself now you're in such a great place where is it so easy to probably be in a completely different place haven't been through what you've been through so %HESITATION I think props to yourself and obviously to your father for that then obviously we move on to the more I suppose sensitive subject my way you were sexually molested and yes I'd be doing a disservice as opposed to the lessons and also to myself and if a game please if if this is making you feel comfortable you haven't you don't have to run so but I just want to ask how that affected you when did it stop affecting you in your life or is it still something that you deal with today and it's definitely not something that I deal with today and it's something that it took me a long time to work through and that eight but I have found a place of peace with its %HESITATION you know tearing does a year is I I I guess because of the other situations that were going on in my life I became very good at disassociating myself with the abuse and my emotion around it on and it wasn't until later so I was you know %HESITATION eleven or twelve years old when you know most kids are going through those changes where you know you're you're not a child that you're awesome not a teenager and and so you know I definitely went through a lot of it and just completely hating myself you know south heat and the prior question and stealing %HESITATION so isolated in those feelings and I'm just a lot of different emotions you know but mostly it was the south heat I completely hated myself now I didn't like the way I looked and I didn't like the way I felt and I didn't like my late tonight I didn't like anything about me and so that you know that I can say that that's how it affected me and then and around I think it was around eleven when I was really going to the changes %HESITATION might I started experiencing like a real physical keen in my body it was intense pain I'm I literally like I would say I stopped walking because my body was in so much pain and my mom you know my mom took me to the doctors they couldn't find anything really medically wrong with my body I'm and now looking back I knew and because of the work I do now I know I know that it is that it was that energy of that trauma that was stuck in my body and the energy of not being heard and not being able to speak up for myself that I was experiencing a real physical pain %HESITATION and it ended up that the doc they thought maybe it was index and they thought it was something you know with you know my female I guess organs and I I had a surgery had surgery because they did not know what to do with me they didn't know what is wrong with me on and so now looking back I think that's totally crazy that you know it went that far but at the time and I don't think that I was able to verbalize you know what happens to the extent that it happens %HESITATION I felt that a lot of that was covered at my extended family and I eat I literally didn't know what to do and now I know like I said I just think it was the pain of that trauma that my body was experiencing why am and just on the as you were saying that there was %HESITATION there was a quote that I listen to your car remember exactly where it came from but it says to heal the wound you must feel of wind and really resonated with me so not in the respect that I've been through what you've been to but I had been physically a so it to the point that I was almost left for dead a long time ago it's a story for another day and somewhat of a vote to shed but for me to be able to really have overcome that and went through the process of forgiveness and really trying to go back into that moment running kind of just plastering over and pretend it never happened it was only then my lifestyle to really change so would you say that was highly of the seat I know you're into you you do healing therapy now is off is that how you find your way of really moving on I suppose from the trauma you experienced and then releasing yourself and I no longer hopefully experiencing physical pain yeah eight it was a combination of things on I think after that experience with the surgery and jazz really you know I've always been very into it as %HESITATION and I've always been very in tune with my cells %HESITATION even though sometimes I didn't have the words to express what I was feeling I didn't feel like I have the support on I knew that that my life wasn't always going to be that way you know I knew that even as a young child and %HESITATION you know I would turn on it with read and so it seems like I've always been into like self help and self healing even at a very young age %HESITATION that there were lots of little incidents after that you know I I found myself in that piece of near it first marriage in which I quickly got out of that %HESITATION and then I went on to start a business with my current husband his amazing and supportive and I love him and %HESITATION things are going well with that and then a recession hit %HESITATION unfortunately and so we we pretty much lost it all and see now all the money and all the hard work that we had to put in sweats and so I also had it needs a new baby at the time and then you know go in trying to trying to rebuild from that %HESITATION and then I find out that my dad on has a terminal illness called pulmonary fibrosis and he was given six months to live so you know it's like a one thing happens and then you know now I am I'm caring for my newborn and and then I find out I'm going to have another child and then navigating through caring for my children and for my dad you know and and walking him through the process of his journey into his transition because you know he he only has six months to live at that point %HESITATION and so you know that was a beautiful gift but it was it was a difficult guest as well just just seen him go through that and then %HESITATION you know but I I did make a promise to him because we had we had all this ad tying Ted to talk about all the really important things and on my child's head in his childhood and and just a really understanding of each other and %HESITATION you know he made me promise that after his his transition I would get censored if there be I would seek out help I would seek out since ready healing and because not only was I going to have to heal from my childhood just that the fact hearing from from losing him because he he does quite literally my best friends so I went on to you know I I I need a promise to him and I was gonna sell sell that promise so I did seek out a couple of therapists and it was you know talk therapy and I I really didn't feel %HESITATION that I was making much progress and so someone mentioned %HESITATION EMDR so %HESITATION I don't know the specifics of how it %HESITATION that I did a couple of sessions with that and it was amazing %HESITATION and then one of my best friends who she's been on this journey with me sensor might style tent I'm she sat and at the time I was really into meditation I got into meditation and started really %HESITATION implementing a spiritual practice of my own and so she said Hey I heard about this healing circle it's a meditation circle I think you would really really really enjoy it and so I decided to go and that was my first experience with energy healing I had an energy healing session there and it was such a release I he asked out so much come out of my body I had this experience where I sell to my dad and in the presence of that room %HESITATION I saw him I heard him I was able to talk to him it was the most amazing experience and I left there and thinking what was that you know what is that I have to learn more about this and and so that's how I found my my first my first mentor and with that Brady Ricky healing this incredible yeah I was it was amazing just on that then so you know how you're having these experiences and I know you went on when you had the poisoning you run the in your life and obviously with your dad is that something that you're in control of or is it something that you can maybe manifesto is it just completely random when it happens I mean now it doesn't happen as often %HESITATION but it's something I can control within myself you know I'm not walking around is leaving my body that's good to know no and I'm just on everything else that you see you said that was going to say how inspiring it is because I always find when somebody goes through so much trauma so much adversity but they only see the gift from it and have a completely different perspective like yourself we said you so blessed to have all these gifts yet you've gone through so much stuff almost that you have to sit back and think how does one person cope with so much adversity so you extremely inspiring with that and I wanna ask what's your secret for continually rising each time you're not down with something and I think so I don't know that I had a cigarette I do have a spiritual practice that I uphold too and I am constantly working on mice cells %HESITATION that they think it's just really reflecting on and my dad you know I mean we I do this in in in his honor really I do this for my children I do this for other people at cyber Cup myself so that I can work on others because I want people to know that no matter what you go to in right now %HESITATION there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and and you're gonna make it through that's hard absolutely and I'm I'm extremely glad that you kept your promise to dining you you did seek the help because you're now in a position of the way you can help so many more people which is which is fantastic so good on you and then the MDR defeat sounds interesting to gain I think we spoke about this offline and this is our really kind of for a selfish reason just got fascinated by your story because I've always been interested in the whole heating in the spirituality side I think the only difference to me and you is it Faisal my grandma are in the mirror out will things fun of the war I would absolutely crap myself I would be running out of the house in anything so %HESITATION again you touched on a very good point though because I was gonna ask you the question is you only become scared of things in life when people tell you that you may be sure to society says that and then also if I was a kid I mean thinking about now I lived in my aunties has pretty much all the time I was always around with my cousins and I'm sure there was some men where things happening in the house but it felt home to me where is not %HESITATION I'm a grown man on the left they ease and if I have to go and stay there by myself on the not a problem he turned it down %HESITATION from inside some round so hopefully she's not listening to get offended but isn't it isn't it funny how the how the world works but I just think it is a beautiful gift I have been told in the game correct me if I'm wrong that be your have this ability to soft top into this kind of is it that audio this intrusion not with another high level %HESITATION yes I believe we all have we I have that ability to tune in to to spirit to the divine %HESITATION to our guides week we all have that ability I think sometimes you know we do go through different different things in life where we're not taught that we are able to do that I think that might be a disservice to lots of children you know because children don't question things they they're not afraid of things you know it it was very natural and normal for me and to have those connections %HESITATION and sometimes you know the way you know different people have you know sort of religious beliefs or that that conditioning of the way they've been raised %HESITATION wherever they are in the world and so sometimes you know that'll start kind of diminishing does start a connections because then we think what is Israel is this wrong %HESITATION should I be afraid you know but I think you know even with my own children %HESITATION my son is extremely empathic %HESITATION my daughter she also is very connected as a matter of fact %HESITATION after my father transition and ours was about three or four she started connecting with him she would see him and speak to him and %HESITATION she would tell me what he would say and then all those those memories and my childhood I'm I'm having this connection started coming back because I thought this is exactly what I thought when I was her needs %HESITATION yes so yeah all children we all do now we I have we all have the ability to connect with our loved ones %HESITATION have transitions and yeah I definitely believe that I think you hit the nail on the head that children are predicting that the fact that they remain curious and the Phyllis so I kind of wish Buell kept up a summer long life through Janie whether it's his old teachers or family we kind of really you stop and we start to be become afraid of things that maybe we shouldn't necessarily be afraid of them stop becoming curious because you're kind of pigeon holed ourselves into little pocket so surprised and it's a shame but I'm just I'm not then I just wanna ask something I'm playing devil's advocate here some people will probably think that the stuff that you and I believe in is a little bit ferry Talysh or something that doesn't exist for example so if we accept that there are people with their own beliefs which is absolutely fine but they've experienced the symbol of control missed yourself on the sexual abuse for example what would you recommend for somebody dealing with that pain at all they're all tentative is other than the whole spiritual healing is there anything that you could recommend perhaps again that the might not be in on some just asking as you can now looking back you know and there there's so many different healing modalities and there's so many different ways to go about healing you know energy healing as is only one of those things see now and %HESITATION I would say just find something that resonates with you whether that rare some people will feel very connected to to going to church and to praying %HESITATION meditation meditation was a huge %HESITATION practice for me that helped me on EMDR is is is something that you can go to a therapist for %HESITATION you know had no therapy there's so many different avenues %HESITATION and with the energy healing our rate your whatever it is that you choose to do %HESITATION that can really be a compliment to to lots of other things that you know it doesn't have to be one right of one modality you can pick and choose and and kind of find something that works for you but you know if I can say one thing on that %HESITATION I would say you know to stress the importance of of whatever type of healing that you signs whatever resonates with you that how important that is because and you know just I'm working on my cells and working on others %HESITATION I calm now now looking back I have learned that I come from a long line sort of abuse on both sides of the family and sexual abuse and and physical abuse and incest at an ancestral line but you know when you decide to step forward and and you'll those those things in in your %HESITATION in your life you're not only healing yourselves but you're healing your ancestral line and you're also healing for your children you know so that they don't have to carry that forward in their DNA and they don't have to go through the same things he went through so that's to me that's amazing and every time I see that and someone and I'm just so happy and excited for them because it it'll stop with you you know once you seek out that healing and that's an amazing thing to think I yeah absolutely because because it becomes a purpose be getting yourself which then obscene spies you right absolutely okay so touching on the final thing that I want to ask you which was about your business that you and your husband hadn't invested so much time and energy into which I sadly file during the recession what's the situation now what are you doing right this moment I will now looking back you know at the time you don't you don't kind of makes sense of things are happening %HESITATION but now looking back I don't think it was my journey it wasn't my past and so it didn't work out and I would have been tied to something that I did not live at the time I thought that this was money this is my passion I I was a hairdresser and so I did here and make up and %HESITATION %HESITATION I did a lot of weddings and so I opened up a bridal shop because that's a lot to weddings I'd love to be around happy time in people's lives and %HESITATION but now looking back on that was never really might have you know that was never really my journey %HESITATION in so how to have the business I wouldn't be doing what what I'm doing now I would have been able to spend that lasts six months with my dad definitely not because you know business of course as you know takes up so much time and energy and money and worry and stress so after after you know pretty much losing at all I mean we had it well that was that was a difficult time but on so my husband continue to work what you know he never he never quit his job %HESITATION and so I went on to just be leave work on healing my cells and I like I said I took training and what I do now which is freaky healing and and shortly after you know I really went into it because I was the one that needed the healing I never thought that I was going to use this to help other people right I definitely didn't think this was going to be what you call a business or anything of that sort %HESITATION diet I started really experiencing all those things I had experiencing experienced as a child so a lot of the mediums abilities came back and I noticed that every time I was you know practicing or working on someone %HESITATION I was connecting to someone on the other side %HESITATION and so that that led me and so what I do now mailing this incredible and I just want to pick up on a point that you said that you never went into it for yourself initially and you can never realized on the CD the wider impact I suppose you could have done and the funny thing is is a little bit about myself so ins I II has literally been my shadow for the majority of my life and when I started this podcast find your voice and when I first I do need about public speaking in just just trying to get out there and I joined Toastmasters and stuff a lot of it was just solely for myself it was to grow and right it was the kind of overcome the fears and I was going through this growth mindset thing thinking I'm not going to accept that in this very short amount of time I'm just going to be much like it for the rest of my life so I kind of threw myself out there and face my face but on the back end of that I realize the inspiration that is given to the people's all all will get her very run a message once in awhile from somebody saying every time you post even though you might for me for like a very mundane post because I pretty much do the same stuff every day it's saying you inspire me every day how you always just the high side your compass own and then I realize even in this podcast the power that we have in terms of one sharing I've learned abilities but then to try to overcome so that not really resonated with me because now I almost feel like the podcast especially is it's become a passion I'm just developed such an interest in a one of kind of mass three I want to become the best in the work I really want to spread messages like yourself and all them other fantastic guest out there in the votes of you'll don't shy away from our affairs and we just did she lived that charge %HESITATION being how children are like we spoke about earlier and just buffet listing curious about life yes I love that that's amazing I think you're amazing thank you blabla see that's your amazing and I just wanna ask actually just fun now knowing where you are you've come to find I believe your passion I yeah what's your daily routine like that so I pretty much do the same thing every day I get up pretty early I start my day by meditating so that something I don't ever deviate from I meditate %HESITATION and then I will journal a journal every morning and S. I'm reading a book which I tend to always read I'll read a couple of pizzas and then %HESITATION now this is a kind of kind of changes sometimes I go from going to the gym and sometimes and right now my habit is just I really like being outdoors so I start my day by either a walk or jog which really turns into kind of a shop full and I been listening to podcasts every single morning on my box so I need to do that and then I'll come back and work out and then I'm ready for my day %HESITATION but that's every single morning every single morning I did not this brilliant and within that you can see straight away there's a lot of self care and a lot of self love that goes into that so you kind of want any G. enormous revitalizing yourself before you kind of talk with the day which is right which is fantastic yeah and %HESITATION have you got any other hobbies other than what you do outside have you wreck and so I mean I love to read I have to spend time with family and friends I home school my children so that it pretty much takes up a lot and then you know of course in my clients and %HESITATION I don't know that their hobbies but there are things that I enjoyed doing and just being with my children really right now and and spending time with my husband excellent and I just wanna ask another question if I may Sir I have so many questions because a fascinating how you trying to spread your message in your because I believe you have a incredible story I believe you you can always help people in so many ways have you got like a you tube channel is not something in the part time or are you thinking about increasing Instagram I am thinking about open yeah so my Instagram spin %HESITATION I ate so this is kind of been a journey for me and it's it's it's been private for a very long time because %HESITATION met so where where I live and I think in general and there's been a lot of sort of back last when I started to take open up into more mediumship readings and %HESITATION to really do that some people are very strongly against not on so that was a little concerned when the fact that I do have children I didn't want that to affect them in any way %HESITATION but we've had we've had lots of moments are we talked about this and you know there's always going to be somebody that doesn't believe in what you do and doesn't like you so mostly right now all my workers just been word of mouth on there's a local magazine I've been fortunate enough here to write for eight and a couple interviews for that magazine %HESITATION and and I have my website and so that's basically but really it's just being out %HESITATION in my area a lot of clients sending more clients and say that it's been amazing but yeah thank goodness yeah I am going to start working on some more things %HESITATION I tend to procrastinate a little bit in that area out which I am I am working on that my husband gets a little irritated with me but yes I am opening up more and more slowly absolutely I gain is this approach this isn't it I mean our member initially so I come from a very academic background again I was always a shy kid yeah I would be doing the most random stuff in terms of our discredit you tube channel or I would just stop doing videos and it was almost read because people would say are you really that sorry but what they didn't see was that it would take me five hours to release a two minute you to video because on a on a three hundred the tents for and then the beautiful thing the allied with the channel was not I could manipulate it so much and cried with the is an all as an almost made myself if it and then somewhere along magenta realize actually that's not really the perception I want to be given a in fact let's just where my floors and we must because that you say guys this is kinda how I am I'm still working on it so I think definitely get you some case off I don't think instagrams a burning platform and I've spoken to a couple of them ladies you about you coming apart castle just offline actually and they have Instagram TV where they'll just do like minute videos or a couple of minutes video the day or maybe a week again oversee depends in you punch Cup but it really does give great value and slowly you can start to see the people who are engaged with the menu almost crate a community because as with myself I could say one messages somebody next %HESITATION could say the same message but the audience might resonate with them more than me or vice versa that makes sense I think yeah that makes perfect sense yeah and I think you're definitely get your orders and I just as you said something earlier I just want it was it was a call from Eric Thomas is a motivational speaker he says there's a group of people that need you more than you need to listen to the negative comments I love that I loved as a because in your back your mind you're worried about what these negative comments going to say but we really have to get people like yourself out there because like he says is a group of people that you need you I need this message so a ride takes on one of the truly I mean a tree down on a quite a hobby and I have a certain number of calls today and always just look at and it just kind of keeps me focused on my journey because if I listen to naysayers of people saying why are you doing this or don't you find it where that you'll try to put yourself on the Indians and almost kind of change and feel like it's my G. to kind of shape people's stories like I get to sit with you not for now and I learned so much from your adversity from you we stem from the way that you say I think that is an injustice if I don't share that with the road thank you for sharing that with me I love that yes yeah and that's something I've I've been I've been trying to work for a while now and again I think it kind of goes back to raise a child and you know I I I I receive a lot of negative comments and even now as an adult now %HESITATION I have tried to reach out to different areas %HESITATION and people have not been so nice that there which I totally understand and I'm fine with it but %HESITATION I I'm definitely working on that right you know we're out kind of a work in progress exactly exactly nobody has it figured out rule kind of just figuring it out as we go along yes it is about just finding your network because well I realize was again just on a quick tangent when I started my you tube channel my initial frustration was because my friends and family wasn't supporting it and then what I'm what I'm very quickly realize was that was not my audience that I needed to say yes that is such an amazing point yeah it is the only kit like eighteen months down the line so I know this resentment and all this kind of frustration and the prime into really realized hold and iron that's not who you need to be said doing so then I changed my focus and even I with this podcast my news feeds and the people in truck with a completely different to myself say twelve months ago because I need to be in a community where there are people who need healing there are people who just need the inspirational motivational somebody's contract vested not card trying to connect the dots if that makes sense and just make their life a little bit easier so yeah it's interesting I'm looking forward to your journey and hopefully you see a lot more fun to untested the next question as you probably know is going to be about investing on %HESITATION we've kind of touched on that very briefly at the beginning so by all means choose any type of investor that you've been through a lot that can be business for lady can be passed on or whatever okay but the main thing I want to know from this is just the lessons that you learned from it and what you can then take from that situation and move forward with a loud and I I think you know I've learned a lot through through the things I've gone through and I I think the main thing is that humans in general are so much stronger than I think we're even led to believe that we can take our stories on the trauma and the good points and all those things and just really use that to help other people and to let them know that they won't get through it as well %HESITATION but really I think it's just wow people are so strong and we don't even realize that what we're going through three those situations but how amazing we are your amazing and I think when people listen to this story people are gonna realize why we're even stronger so it's one thing thinking was strong and let me go straight face TV almost come out the other side and it's like that saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but when you have somebody else and this is why I love stories like yourself he's been through so much more and more and then so come out the other side and just has this radiant energy of just love and no resentment or any sort of a %HESITATION feeling it is very funny just shows your wives even more street that we can tap into thank yell and in this moment then why not what's your biggest fear %HESITATION something happening to my children and something happening to them and so I I do tend to be a little over protective with my children which I'm also working on that is that the home schooling as well no not so much no not so much the home schooling it's just I'm you know I'm very aware and people that are around my children at all times and %HESITATION yeah I am I am I am worried about something happening to my children I don't want them to have to go through the same thing that I that I experienced on so I would say that would be my biggest fear and that's very understandable thank you and next before we go into the from pie the show where I'm gonna put you through your paces I just want to ask for help %HESITATION in this moment is you'll inspiration you why for what you do what you do my children my children especially I wanted to see my my daughter because I want them to know that they can constantly reinvent themselves they they don't have to know all the answers you know by the time they're eighteen or nineteen at %HESITATION you know I want them to see that now I think all these different things I've done all these different things and I am still working on it so just do what makes you happy %HESITATION you know speak your truth I want them to know that so that's why I'm constantly and I am working on that because I want my daughter to you and my son of course but to speak your truth %HESITATION said they they are my why they are my inspiration for sure love this it should be for message and I think in a society where we're almost hypnotized with this poll of trying to fit in in trying to walk a set way trying to vice saying things and I'm just conform to I suppose what to site once she's very difficult to be ourselves right it would be beautiful to see more people really just trying to really embrace who who they are Hey at each stage of your life you know you don't you don't have to have all the answers yeah absolutely I'm still trying to figure one answer right that's correct but yeah we'll get that and so we are actually not what the form part of the show and this is kind of the show the pa the show sorry where I would just ask you the most random questions for sixty to ninety seconds we're gonna start in three two one if you could abolish one thing in the road what would it be %HESITATION crimes against children your favorite hobby reading your biggest role model my cat what would you like to be remembered for my your biggest goal this year to get out in a %HESITATION some heartfelt snacks and new people and and just really connect with others your west mistake my first marriage no if you could relive one day again what they would it be any day with my dad the ability to fly or be visible fly the number one thing that annoys you liars money or fame many your proudest moment giving birth to my children your favorite food would you rather speak more languages we'll be able to speak to animals I feel like I can speak to animals so I mean if you go with all languages if you had an extra hour day how would you spend any time with my children sixty two your favorite TV show ever I merely lab and I still really laugh the old classics like my legs on show I love those because they would you rather know how you would die or when you were done house and finally what is one question that you wish I had asked you covered at all and does this is amazing well bless you so that was nice and the next question when asked just before we move on to the final question is about reflection and the call I'm a firm believer that hindsight is a wonderful thing because obviously upon reflection we can always think of ways to get to places quicker easy how would less heartache what I want to know is if you could go about knowing everything that you know not too young and healthy maybe during your early years between the ages of eight to ten %HESITATION whatever agent was and you can just whisper something in the air knowing exactly what you know now what would it be %HESITATION I think in regards to the abuse that I suffered I would say it's not your fault this isn't your fault none of this is your fault %HESITATION that would be huge and did you believe it was your full at that at that particular time I thought I did something wrong definitely I thought I thought it was something I did wrong and I and I believe that for a long time you know so yeah I would definitely say that thanks for sharing if I may just ask on that was it was it difficult for you to come out and let your family know about it I mean how did the how did that let's change the fuck on %HESITATION so that was a totally different you know that's a whole story in itself but I'm like I mentioned my best friend who invited me to the meditation circle we were friends in middle school so I think by this time I'm eleven or twelve years old I don't know but I was just going to such a difficult time and like I said I was in so much physical pain %HESITATION that I opened up to her and I mean she was you know another child basically and and so she went to the school counselor and so the school counselor called me in and then called me parents and and so that's how it came now but by this time it was already you know seven years and but there was a lot of threats being named by this person so I was afraid yeah I was trying to ruin the family I was afraid I was going to get hurt to think he was going to hurt my appearance on I was afraid of not being believes %HESITATION and then at some point you know do you it's so common that in a way you accept it which is a strange concept but it just becomes your life and you don't know any difference at that point so excited even out I don't think that that you know at the earlier stages I didn't know was an option to to to speak out about and say Hey this is happening and this is %HESITATION county what should we do right I I literally had no idea and because it was so it was so common and it happened so many times that it just became my life who's thank you for sharing the thing yeah and just finally then so this is actually the last question I always love trust my guess and it's about let okay so if in a hundred fifty years time signs vows to save his soul and all that exists is a book and this book has everything that you've done in your life for the weight and wonderful things firstly what with the title of the book be and second what the Blair but the back tell us about coffee I think I would want the titled Sabine never alone and and I think I'd want it to really express that you know I was a compassionate he's sick kinds of person %HESITATION but I think I would want it soon you need expressed the fact is that I would want others to know that we all have this in our guidance and this and make healing power with an S. on that even you know in those darkest moments when we feel alone that we are able to tap into that in tune into that and that we are definitely more powerful than we hi to believe %HESITATION but I'd really want people to know that %HESITATION that they have this amazing ability inside them they will be much more courageous if we knew how strong we could truly be so that's right absolutely and Kathy suddenly dies obviously the end of that the questions but I want to give this I want to give you an opportunity and we get to guess an opportunity to obviously connect is also what's the best place that the list is can reach out to you and so I have a website it's Kathy Courtney dot net and I am on Instagram Kathy Courtney seven %HESITATION but definitely there my website if someone had any questions or you've definitely reach me on their phone testing and also to the website that I mentioned anyway I actually read your story and he and he was fascinated I'm so glad that I did read that story I did reach out pain because here I am myself too I mean this is been absolute pleasure energy as everyone listening to follow Kathy again if you go on even now with Instagram page we are following you %HESITATION you'll messages even in your captions and stuff is always in a message there but our I'm looking forward to you really coming out of your shower metes Stein T. share your life because this this conversation has been really enlightening for me I really do appreciate you sharing your vulnerabilities as well also thank you for taking time out of your day today and I want to also thank the leases well thank you for listening thank you so much I really appreciate you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Follow your heart" by Lara Waldman #31Tagline: "Trust in yourself, trust in your heart & trust your inner knowing."An abundance activator, a manifestation expert, a healer and author, Lara Waldman speaks of the importance of slowing down. Knowing that we never truly arrive at our destination and having suffered with trauma growing up due to her mother leaving, she has had to learn about balancing her spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being.Lara explains the areas in our lives that we may struggle in and need to acknowledge. She also speaks about finding the purpose of our pain and seeing this as a gift. She explains the importance of understanding your mind and ego and finding the real true goals you need to achieve to become more successful.Some key discussion points:The importance of meditationFinding balance spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physicallyFinding the gift in the purpose of our painUnderstanding true prioritiesAchieving true successThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Lara:Instagram: https://instagram.com/larawaldmanofficial?igshid=4w8xra325wgdWebsite: https://larawaldman.com/about-2/ YouTube: https://youtu.be/p9JRdXTiE_4Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abundanceactivatorPippa Transcript:welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of fine your voice my name is iron and as always I am the host of the show today I am delighted to be up to bring to you Lara Waldman he is a well known and but does activate now in case anyone is familiar with those times it would all be explained in this episode he's been a coach now for many years she's been here for fifteen years she's a or that she's a manifestation express this lady's fascinate but more importantly she gives us tangible takeaways in this episode that we can really start to take away a start to change our lives today now this also became a bit of a counseling session for myself right now a lot of areas in my life that's still needed growth is still needed me to really work on myself but again I'm here to show my oven abilities with yourselves this is Jenny this is about finding my own voice is about writing my own story and hopefully it helps you guys do the same he says some incredible things about how we call an escape past selves she also spoke of the importance of having a balance between you emotional spiritual and physical self and then she touched on something that I think we can all resonate with which is that we never truly arrive so we have all these goals will these designs of we will be happy when when is when do we ever truly arrive at the destination the chances are not because of this as you start to grow when you go through this process you can always change of visions your priorities and everything kind of either evolves grows %HESITATION sometimes it could even supposed diminish so it was a fascinating conversation she somebody who loves to talk and have deep meaningful conversations I love a lot myself we had a fascinating conversation is somebody I'm gonna be keeping in touch with offline as well I encourage or too far ahead Jenny on Instagram and also join us over on the Instagram page as well it is growing knack nicely and I do like to try and engage in order of our listeners and one of our guests so guys but not for the reduced let's get this interview on the way okay fantastic I'd like to start by welcoming lar to the show today and thanking him for taking time out of a day in sharing her story with the soldiers are how you doing today Hey it's really great to connect with you I actually love talking not really here today fantastic what talking is definitely a good stop because that's what we're gonna do a hopefully for the next hour and I want to know a little bit more about yourself Lara and I want to know a lot about your story and I'm sure the audience do as well so if you wouldn't mind could you kind of give us a bit about yourself your summary of what kind of I suppose brings you to where you are today well it's a sort of a long story I'm sorry I was born and raised in Vancouver Canada I now live in London England %HESITATION I had we had a really amazing upbringing on the outside everything looks perfect we wouldn't were sailing in the summer as skiing in Whistler and winters we had %HESITATION this what looked like really kind of perfect happy family and in some ways on the physical level everything was great but turns out things weren't so great underneath that %HESITATION when I was twelve my my god mother my mom's best friend committed suicide and this put a bomb into our family it basically expose everything that had been hit in our deny age covered up on the emotional level within our family unit so this really took my mom into a very very difficult and dark place and she ended up leaving when I was fourteen there was a lot of emotional on rest so we went from this kind of what seem obvious I was a child right but seems to picture perfect %HESITATION situation to it went went very dark and then it just it seems like everything just goes dark in my memory and my parents it was but I had to sell our home and there is a lot of %HESITATION unrest there's a lot of traumatic experiences in that time and I went into a really tough girl kind of big front I don't care self destruction am I really gently thought and care %HESITATION super strong but I'm also very armors and %HESITATION when I was but I think sixteen seventeen I was just exhausted all the time in which the doctor she said I think you have depression and I was like what I didn't think I'd depression number getting on the scales and I weighed way more than I'd ever waited always very slim person and this is a start then of my eating disorders so I basically just starve myself an exercise like crazy and and really within a very dark place of self hate and trying to be something or becomes something that I wasn't this went on for a long time but %HESITATION I would then went to university excesses were everyone did in my in my community went there route just felt really done everyone was partying and and I was just right down to the rowing team and I was up at five in the morning just like in the gym in the afternoon just focus focus push myself really hard but really low in retrospect and I don't know exactly the moment this happened but suddenly %HESITATION I think I went to this meditation classes had never tried my life it's kind of weird I didn't really understand it the RIAA ways %HESITATION this vision or this feeling came in to me and I had this vision where I saw myself speaking to an international audience as being interviewed and I was speaking about the fact that we as human beings we have the power to consciously create our life we are way more powerful than we realize and I don't know where this came from because this is not what I was really thinking about %HESITATION speaking about at the time it just came as decision so all I thought oh my gosh I'm so screen actress that is my purpose so I quit university and I followed I went to like to study lots acting as working in restaurants and a study as much as I could and then I got this next inspiration was to go to London England and go to theater school %HESITATION and be trained as a theatre actor so I I flew up over to London ended my relationship just following this sort of what I would call now my intuition of my inner guidance system but I didn't really know that's what it was time and it took me to to consider school to come to London and and my plan was to go to two years Sears school and then come back to Vancouver and start my very successful acting career but life different plans for me so I %HESITATION after you're being in England which is very again it was quite dark time it was quite I was very lonely and it was I was working really hard working full time studying full time but it was challenging time I then met my now husband I am twenty two at a time this guy was super peaceful super calm I was real love at first sight kind of experience and %HESITATION he meditated he meditated twice a day how god statistician bring so I have this sense that I needs to to meditate but I had really huge resistance to wonder forced myself I hated it the screen to my chair but I made myself sit for twenty minutes and I for some reason just knew I had to keep going at it so I sat with it and then after not very long when I saw it long enough eventually I would have these amazing feelings of peace and that I guess got me hooked wow that is amazing feeling and then not long after that something very strange happened to me where I was at my eyes closed and then out of nowhere I in my mind's eye I saw in front of my %HESITATION if front of me and I heard the sun flashing lights you are a healer and I heard in my ears as well and I it was I just remember collapsing on the bed and fled to tears and sobbed and sobbed because I knew I was going to be an actress in that moment and I knew that my whole life is about to change and I was so upset I was devastated are you said a remember saying okay universe I don't know what this is but you bring it to me I'm not looking for I was super pissed and very soon I stuff across the ceiling course and then I will I remember going on this course it was again I think I was really tapped into this inner guidance but I didn't really know if that's what it was but it was leading before something was pushing me for what I meant that first course the healing course and I just knew that this is my future and then I started to discover all of the stuff I've been struggling with physically had been struggling with health problems emotionally I've been struggling I just felt I had all the time also in my body and realize that there was a whole other world that I don't understand which is kind of emotional aspect in that entered energies as well all this drama I've been through I had no idea how much it affected me and then I really start this journey of healing and releasing on an emotional level in our minds level and my body and my I really start to heal this this physical health problems I've been experiencing emotional imbalances really started to shift and it was incredible and then I just I've been on that path for over twenty for twenty years now %HESITATION but but fast forward I ended up %HESITATION getting pregnant as twenty six which was a surprise but I again I knew this this was the right thing and I I have two beautiful daughters now and what happened was is then I I'd have to sort of big vision right is big vision to help the world speak to the world and then at this point my life I was stuck at home with two little kids which I love being a mom but we had no money we are really broke and I felt really for stocking frustrated really limited and then I started to %HESITATION in meditation is when I meditate I %HESITATION I developed or start to understand that I was getting messages I was getting what I call inner guidance or call channeling depending what you want to call and I started getting these messages but I had never occurred to me to to ask what money before so I started asking questions about money before that I've been working our health and healing emotional balance I was also you know really fashion is what happened to my mom like why did everything go so bad and so dark and so I really was super fascinated in the unconscious %HESITATION and how our unconscious self effects are current reality but I had never looked at money so then I started on this really big journey around understanding about money in my relationship with money and what is going on with that and what I realize is I'd actually because I grew up with money but light you know things didn't work you know the people weren't happy and so I rejected it I rejected that whole scene I rejected kind of the physical world you know of of like physical %HESITATION I guess physical successor physical objects because I saw that that wasn't really making people happy and then I was going into the heart and the soul and Kirk Hanson this is what makes people happy we can't be happy if we're not happy on the inside right but then this whole next for chapter of my life is about finding the balance between the spiritual emotional mental and physical but how we can how we can thrive and feel good in all areas of our lives because what I learned is if we're like I was at that point very spiritually rich in a mostly rich and I had all this powerful information on this kind of energy level but because but don't have any money meant we're really limited in the physical world also equally people can be very wealthy they can have physical money and wealth and physical things but be completely bankrupts emotionally spiritually and we're not happy unless we have some kind of balance in all areas of our life so now my thing is right ugh we create a life of abundance all in all areas of our lives because if one part of the system is broken if you're not gonna feel good you're not gonna feel a sense of success in the film and purpose so we're so there are quite a lot of areas that we need to take care of but this is what was so my work now is about really living abundance how can we live I create a life of true abundance which includes all areas of life we don't have to reject anything we don't have to reject money reject Leviton project health we can include all of this why are that sprint now what an incredible journey live so that resonated with me on on quite Hugh Scott let's see because office so you know how you you said you mentioned during situation %HESITATION with the address of the actress feeling you lot that's it what to do yeah not not so much in terms of dot now would you be an active rock I've had those moments in my life but I've never really understood him and sometimes a lot ha ha I just convince myself that's why should be doing but recently for some reason something keeps telling me I need to meditate now I look at my body and all I look after my health I try to I try to find bodies into the physical mental emotional and spiritual aspects of a of my life because I believe you need some sort of balance and I'm I'm glad that you touched on that as well but meditation is a something not the minute I'm not sure why I'm not doing it but I just thought it just kind of switch is me often think it I don't have to call a lot I'm so busy I like three jobs a day and all of it seven days a week of the tour really have time to you to meditate and it's funny because I was I think was watching Jay show he's he's he's fat is fascinating because it speaks about with them and I think he went on this most junior he mentions that if you had an extra hour day he'd meditate and I find it really ought but then also there's obviously some beauty it and you just mentioned it not so I went on we just ask you on that and maybe this is more of a kind of selfish personal question but I hope they listen the home you don't meditate might take some value from it could you recommend something for say somebody like myself he you kind of I suppose pushes out or their way one the importance of meditation %HESITATION you said you had this car euphoric feeling avoid when you went for it but what stuck the face that sought is is easy just slapping on a you tube video and then maybe spend ten fifteen minutes doing that is is a good start over have you got any of this or practices that you could recommend yes so everyone's a little bit different %HESITATION I've you know coaches for lots of people in in trying to create some sort of practice where you want to stop and go within now the first thing I want to say this is great in terms of preventive medicine because stopping meditating will help to lower your stress levels lower anxieties so it's really really good on lots and lots of levels but some people really struck like myself I really struck I really had to force myself to stop so what I would say is one of the reasons why I find it's hard to stop is because we don't want to feel we don't want to feel ourselves we're not taught the value of being we're not taught the value of being in the present moment and we want to avoid the present only because status we'll have to feel our pain and we don't want to feel it but equally when we sit long enough that pain will transform it will shift and you'll start having feelings of peace of euphoria of connection it's a feeling of coming home and it's absolutely beautiful and I think once you start having that experience enough you get addicted to you start feeling good just like working out going to the gym first you know it's off when you have an exercise in the first %HESITATION pulling yourself out there but once you get into a rhythm you get addicted to it and then that it's not such hard work exactly the same what I would say is %HESITATION everyone's a little bit different I recommend starting with five minutes a day five minutes there than no minutes even two minutes is better than no minutes it's really as simple as sitting sitting in a way that's comfortable for you trying to have good posture is responsible and breathing I'm just focusing on your breath breathing in everything out within about two seconds your mind will start wondering you want to come back in this keep coming back to press connect the breath what what what happens is it gives your mind and your body a chance to filter out and process all the information triggers emotions that happened in your day or maybe your week and when you send it in your mind and your body needs time to filter through a process all of the information so it can take sometimes up to twenty minutes to find feelings of peace if you're really triggered emotionally upset it could take half an hour but five minutes is better than no minutes you'll feel a little bit calmer yeah if you just sit and breathe is so simple and is actually free but there's lots of I have I have some guided healing meditations on you too %HESITATION there's lots of %HESITATION the guided meditation sometimes book it helps you to listen to something but you can also do walking meditation so you can go out in nature and just you know listen to anything this breed bring bring yourself in the moment some people find it hard to sit still you could move you could do kind of like dancing sort of meditation you can bring it's just %HESITATION bring yourself into the present moment okay and and again there's lots and lots of benefits to it on on motional mental and physical level as well that's really interesting so one of the things I have done and thank you for sharing all of that is start to read a lot about solitude in just trying to be by myself %HESITATION and always you Steve I suppose struggle to you and maybe this is pop minds ought you to be alone so even go to a shopping center by myself or sitting in a coffee shop on myself and always fit I need to somebody else that someone I am going to the card have Ginni of just being okay by myself and I was very fortunate to have just travel to Miami with the wife and the full hour day started and we went on ventures are always wake up an hour early and I just go for a walk on occasion you put music on and just being in that moment I suppose it's easier when your out of your apartment so right now I'm sitting on hold where are where can where I live but just being in a completely different environment I did fail more peaceful so I can definitely for the thing is I know you're right I know how I know there's an advantage from it because the same with exercise always say fuck about let the feeling not like after doing exercise and send it in the shops no it's %HESITATION it's almost at the best I'm too depressed in the road so it's something that I you definitely H. anyone listening to yes this will start to minutes SO star five minutes I'll try and be accountable myself or try to post this the more the pages on this I think it is something that we will need to do and just on that if I may ask them to do you believe I'm paid above devil's advocate here don't be kinda chief violence in old areas talking physical mental emotional and spiritual or is there going to be and that's that would be maybe to accept that so maybe is going to be maybe more in June than the others good question this is my work in progress every day so I believe that %HESITATION balance isn't isn't a solid fix thing it's a constantly moving things like the weather at like the tides %HESITATION like like nature it's moving and flowing all the time the balance is there isn't one one flat line of balance bar this is again why for me this meditation is is great foundation because we need to be really listening and tuning in and being connected to our life so if there is an area where you're struggling or there is an area that is difficult it's like the universe our life is screaming at you saying this needs your attention so this is what I call the purpose of your pain is that the pain or pain in our struggle or sign post something needs our attention so it's there's always going to be challenged there's always going to be things that stretch you or challenge you bought what I like to do is if we can use those challenges consciously what we discover is there's gold in the pain there's gold in there but the it the pick the pain or the challenge or the difficulty is showing that there's something is out of balance so we we need it's it's it's work it's hard work it's not like it's not easy and anyone who you know I'm I'm I'm married I've got kids that run a business you know got a dog home there is there is lots of areas of life that need our attention so it is a false and time job but what I find is if we're listening and we're slowing and were surrendering to the moment as well getting out of the ego getting at the mine there is a flow there is a place of flow there is a current dot is was going to help you to feel in flown in harmony with your life so and I called that balance but it's she got that current is changing all the time so we have to be listening we have to be tuning in and what I've realized is that %HESITATION life is here to support us but we have to work with it which means we have to slow down enough to listen to pay attention and so it's it's not an easy it's not straight for answer but it it's a practice and I've been developing this over the last twenty years and I'm still like a constant student with all of this as well as being a teacher this and so it is is is is is just like anything whether it's like exercise or gardening or I'm keeping your house tidy it needs are constant tension nothing that makes perfect sense and I suppose once we %HESITATION in myself included going not Janie of really trying to listen to bean not mobile like you said surrender surrendering I think it definitely help low so thankful that you mention it is hard work because sometimes seven those expectations I mean all I do this from a physical standpoint in my past %HESITATION trying to cram where people want a very quick fix now where site or its not okay how many jobs in six minutes let your not many ads in six minutes and you could you could let you sit there for twenty four hours into crunches or not you're not gonna get ABS because it's so many of the faucets to health and fitness in order to get your body fat low in it in order that stuff so yeah one of the first things I would say went but I used to with the clients more on a one to one basis was before we start I need a hundred percent commitment of it not every day's gonna be great not every day is going to be how you think it's going to be but you have to put in the work so yes I suppose it probably he's just the element of myself so my subconscious the pointed often thinking this is going to be another thing to do and I'm not suppose I'm guilty of thinking it's a waste of time so I I feel like I'm in this part of my life where I need to achieve all these goals I'm neglecting probably one of the most important things like myself and I really need to maybe sit back a little bit so thank you for that you're welcome and it the thing that you search realizes whatever you're doing whatever your goals whatever you're creating you are at the center of it you are the center point of all of everything your experiences and actually when we slow down we realize a lot of the stuff that we think we're supposed to be doing this %HESITATION much mental noise there's so many distractions and actually when after I don't start my day I don't start anything until I am aligned and connected because what I realized as soon as I drop in and on my whole yeah all that on my to do list I can see if scrap barn all that stuff I thought I had to do all the pressure from the mind you know a lot of it is just noise and when we drop in and we can get really clear what is the most important thing what's going to really transform my life where my where are my true priorities because the mind in the ego can create mountains out of mole hills I'm so this kind of practice let's just call it is stopping calming down a little bit is it it it puts everything into perspective it actually makes you more successful so all I see is a is a is a foundation to success if that helps motivate you absolutely absolutely you're gonna see my on what to do some video just for kind of Billy I will let you take the advice on board so thank you for that and just actually on being aligned to connected like you just mentioned there what is your daily routine like that well that I sometimes see people saw how I live my life they'd probably be laughing at me I ice I spend a lot of time doing self care now so what happened for me was I was a super like Dr driver I was I worked out really hard I push myself really hard I was like go go go really fiery focus determine what started happening to me I'm in my early twenties with every time I went to exercise those really big and health and fitness I would get stargazer sick and it was so frustrating for I cannot tell you and that's all also the time I started meditating base my whole body was that you have to slow right down this whole pushing forcing thing is not working for you so I really learned this the hard way I I thought this whole thing kicking and screaming so this is what what I'm gonna tell you that I do now is like a twenty year like honing practice because that having babies at how does that slowed me down the holes all of life taught me how to slow right down and what I started to learn was actually the more I took care of myself the more I was in kind of slow in harmony with my body the more successes start experiencing but it's what I call true success you know not like like really this experience of feeling abandoned so I %HESITATION well now my girls are a little bit older but first as you know getting up the kids and stuff I %HESITATION walk my dog so get out in nature %HESITATION being out in nature is really really important to me I live in London so it's even more important get out in nature somewhere as a bomb in the park %HESITATION I move my body so movement and that can look in all sorts of ways but right at the moment it's walking I might do a little stretching %HESITATION I goose also in in and out phases of things like I've done a lot of yoga in the past %HESITATION sometimes go for a run with my dog but it's basically about moving the body getting the bug blood pumping and stretching so getting comfortable and food in my physical body I will come home and %HESITATION I tend to meditate in some form or another %HESITATION generous sitting sometimes I'd lie on the floor in just three days and I'm waiting for looking for this moment where I feel balance nor should alignment so if my mind is in rushing in thinking if I'm not feeling good which are I sometimes don't wake up feeling good I'm doing my prices and I till I feel that click of alignment balance and that kind of off the area is this feeling of being back in myself and my center so I spent the morning I'm finding that place of alignment moving really is essential for me and then breathing meditating %HESITATION I journal sometimes %HESITATION so %HESITATION and basically what I'm looking for that place is connecting brought to our what I call my higher self my inner guidance system which is this place that that yes feeling inside of me %HESITATION in so some to an obviously every day is a little bit different some days I have more time than others but I I create my diary my schedule so that I have a good chunk of time in the morning to do that then I get on with my day and you know having been a wonderful experience connecting with amazing people if we're doing now and then at some point in the afternoon I might notice that my energy might drop again so when I start to feel tired or stressed or overwhelmed out of flow I know that I need to stop so I will you if you were walking to my husband if I'm lying on the floor %HESITATION and I or I line the something I lie down and I read it again until I find the alignment and sometimes my boys is that you know what this is you just need to stop this idea of like Monday to Friday nine to fiver for me is not in harmony with my body and so I have burst of energy and when I have a drop in energy I know okay I need to stop if I if I'm able to so I tried to design my day and my schedule around my energy peaks and my energy tips so I I plan on my creative stuff and all that kind of action I need to live with his writing or the interviews work with clients on more my energy peak and then I'll try and clear my diary for when I have my drops on a walk my dog again Socorro nature again because he does the walking twice a day but I also I need walking towards the day so I'll get back in into sun harmony I'm I'm also in connection is really really important to me as well so every day you'll find me having some kind of deep conversation with somebody who anyone who talk to me about %HESITATION yeah I'd like to have really deep honest authentic but share conversations and that can be about the hard stuff and the wonderful staff I'll be doing that every day as well because that fuels me energizes me and I try and eat really well so I I again without think judging are hard on myself I try and really listen to my body what is a want to eat what is it want to drink and trying to really listen and %HESITATION and put things into my body also nursed nourish me so as you can see this sort of a few different angles that I come from if I don't do that I don't feel good so for me I'm highly sensitive I realized I didn't know if it was super tough president care I am highly since I actually I think human beings are all highly sensitive we've just shut down disconnected so I've learned that I have to say I want to feel good and honest thrives and when I'm doing this practices every day I am in alignment I'm striving to feel good and then my creative energy is awesome okay ideas inspirations it will feed into my business if I'm not doing that I will feel down that I might feel anxious I might feel scared you know and it can take me into dark places so for me I have to do a lot of self care to stay in that space the balance so it is not it's just a thousand happened for me accidentally it's very conscious mindful and requires time absolutely %HESITATION I mean I just love that has so insurance have you all with yourself but I guess that comes on to you the kind of twenty years of experience yes but you've been doing nothing again a lot we to turn it into your wanted not because of so many things to do what I lease we we have all this noise telling us that we have so much to do so so seeing that we don't work with that way I can so I think once we can set the expectation that it is going to take time I don't suppose a bit like if I use the gym analogy self with myself in order for me to you for example increased lightweight sifted or other bit of muscle it would take me generally eighteen months but I've kind of got used to that because I've been doing it for eight nine years now I'm used to the process and I love the process and I I get a good feeling from it so I think as long as I can kind of transform that into this you know send you help and I just wanna touch on you mentioned you were highly sensitive so I can also unfair but my wonder Billy I'm probably one of the most emotional guys you'll probably be this yeah in terms of the fact that my wife calls me wifey well I would actually I mean I could watch expect that somebody goes through and I'm just in case I'm so happy for it and sometimes I don't even know who this person is and I'm just boring on the other side and right sometimes up I feel a bit I used to get embarrassed by a wide wide what I get so emotional or get like a frog in my throat like you know when you when you call me the words and my voice would drop in and one for dole straight away the %HESITATION over sensitive but could I just want to touch on another thing as well I think we're in a space especially on social media where the the grind to the whole so it's kind of like a cool thing to do our E. that's what twenty four hours a day I mean the first thing out of the committee to use you know what seven days a week a trial because many hours a day I don't really have time to stop and I've seen the examples of people doing that and then the TV may be among the tree as successful some financial gain but then the set of a failed exactly yeah and I think this is a really important lesson one not just for myself but for anyone out then I who's almost damaging themselves I in some in terms of that imbalance to just have it covered look back and see what true success is like you touched on it which I thought was view for the way you said that so thank you for that is really liked it and I I would say this and I said it before the start of this episode I feel so fortunate because I have this time with amazing guess let your software I'm just get it not one to one the best coaching the vote so great for me because it is sixty minutes and %HESITATION I really enjoyed hopefully the listeners will gain something from this is awesome thank you are for sharing or not I really do appreciate it US my greatest pleasure and and I and thanks for sharing your vulnerability to because you know men are just as sensitive as women this I you know I just think there's just so much so many lies that we've been souls and we just need to get back in connection with our self and understand how we are in night I didn't realize a sense of I was either I'm highly since it highly emotional %HESITATION and I realize it's a beautiful saying if we can flow with it you know it's when it gets out of balance it can be really destructive and really problematic but it's a gift but it's like learning how to use that gift because if you're really sensitive but not honoring your sensitivity it can be really destructive and that's what I learned and and I to be honest I've learned a lot of the stuff the hard way I'm if I start pushing or trying to create some is not and so it myself other get scarecrow like something that will happen is I think it slam dunked so I've I think dot and again like also I've achieved lots of things and I had all these goals and I thought that's what I wanted and then I got it and I felt empty I thought nothing so that's when I started getting really curious like right what what is actually doing here but we need to be all areas need nurturing but we have to remember like the core of it because this is what I learn also with exercising working out and like push myself to her with health I was like probably the healthiest like person you will ever meet but I wasn't mentally healthy so it was like no matter what I achieved was never good enough is never enough never enough and it's like feeding this hungry ghost and so what I started to realize is we have to get to the core of who we are so that whatever we're doing is gonna bring true fulfillment and that sometimes means you know slowing down because what whatever we think we want isn't necessarily what we truly want it might be a next step will not talk but it's often something deeper so as long as we're bringing in that death whatever we do will be nurturing but affirmed in for not really bringing in that kind of deeper part of ourselves nothing we do is going to bring a strip of film is just get next next next like an addict so this is why it's so important and then we can really thrive and we can really enjoy life because I think what's the point what's the point of being here for not enjoying this experience absolutely absurd I I I think I said the same thing in in a post this morning I was not even those fortunate huge live the longest life is still very short for them and we really need to put that into perspective a maybe I mean one of the purposes of the show is always like to talk about phase two which is what we're going to next because it's it's an adverse T. where I suppose if I cook for a few weeks but we think okay life is short let me let me thank all the people who have helped me let me show love to those close to me and it may just be great for the moment but then all of a sudden two three weeks pass and then you kind of back into the rat race and you'll get to routine you forget everything so I am very blessed because this part because as almost made me be grateful six six days a week was before grad she was never part of my daily routine so say the center helps me so yeah this fantastic point and if we do move over to the best of it and you spoke briefly about deep connection a conversation let's talk about the hard stuff if you wouldn't mind let's let's get you renewed shows refueled eyes you stay if I'd like to know a time of just a time when you face grade fifty and more importantly how you persevere through and the less is that it for you if you could share that with myself and this is I think a big great value so obviously life I you know I'm one forty one now so I've had lots of you know knocks and challenges of little mini ones but I feel I feel the core thing maybe this is maybe is getting too deep I don't know but the core thing for me this run through everything was what I would say with the trauma from my childhood and that no matter what I've done his name like I can't you can't escape yourself so what I realize a lot of my goals in my dreams when I've been pushing towards is actually been in a way to trying to skate this trauma trying to skate this pain and I realize that there's no escaping ourselves so in a way what what I realize is that all of my goals an element of trying to expand beyond you know trying to two almost to create a New World for myself and every time I try to kind of grown expands and I felt like I kept running slammed back down again and again and again and what I realize is because I had to get right down to the deep core of myself my trauma my pain and go in and transform it from like the inside out in order to truly like to truly expand into a desire I'm so it's not one thing it's many many things but there is this fundamental core wound within myself which came you know you know and and lesser it's not her fault but cut comes from this relationship with my mom and because of you know her pain and trauma both my parents again trauma which almost everyone does what human being has an experience pain trauma what I call ancestral trauma trauma that gets passed down from generation to generation to generation and so what I experienced was this feeling of like because of my parents trauma I didn't feel loved I didn't feel like who I was was it knowledge or values out a good enough so I felt bad I felt like I'm a bad person something about me is bad something about me is disgusting something about me as a wrong and I've been on this kind of missions trying grow out of this feeling feeling bad a not good enough and I didn't know that that's what was running me consciously when I was younger but now I can see that's what it was and it wasn't because you know my parents did anything wrong it's just that because of their stuff they couldn't really give me the kind of love and support and nurturing that I needed so I felt kind of abandoned neglected emotionally speaking spiritually speaking and it's so so the only time I fell all right was one of the cheating in sport because I was really good at sport and then I'd get could us then I'd get maybe comfort I I I yes so it was so I feel for me like this journey last twenty years has been about really finally learning how to love and take care of like really value who I am last four and see who I am I know the actually there's nothing wrong with me on the deepest level of my being but it's been a really long journey to really get that because you can know something intellectually conceptually but it's about really knowing it deep within yourself that who I am as okay now and so this is been obviously and might as a healer us I've been trying to give the out to everybody else I was like I'm gonna give it to you and get you and help you feel okay and I'm gonna see you and love you and witness you but I wasn't really doing it for myself so this has been my biggest thing and then finally like obviously it's a work in progress right it's not like you land what I've learned about life is there's no you never Rive never arrive to the space where I know I was trying to rob us to find you know finally when I get there then I'll be okay then everything will be fine and that I realize now living you know like forty plus years now my yeah there's no arriving there is no end point there is you know you when you reach your goal may do the they'll be another one so for me it's been realizing that like fundamentally I'm okay %HESITATION and really knowing kind it's almost like the parts of me that I thought were bad I actually realized my guess and the thought this the president about America she was really good about me they just weren't hello they were acknowledged they were witnessed so they just went into the underground the underworld of the shadow and so I would say like for me this is been my biggest thing to overcome and I'm still working with that %HESITATION but I feel like there's been some really fundamental shifts and now it just changes the way that I do everything it changes the way that I move through life in a way that I create my business the way that I show up %HESITATION so rather than trying to think before I was like running into chase someone was chasing something in chasing a gone chasing a dream but I I kept on being slammed back and was like what is this why is it so hard because you can we cannot we have to move forward with all all of us no we had we life will not let us leave any part of us behind so is so this I would say I I hope that makes some sort of sense with your question but for me that's my biggest my biggest thing and I know I'm really really passionate now about the Buck stops with me like I do not want to pass on this and so what I would conceptualization my kids to future generations I want to shift is D. with these deep wounds is steep paying the state census of separation and abuse so much abuse that's been going that goes on everywhere and I really my big passion is like if I can stop that within myself and I can support other people's like just to transform a few people's lives DOT skin it then recall out into future generations and that that is my big passion I do what I do I'm like this is not going further the LAR las that's probably one of the most interesting responses about you have a head to this question it's %HESITATION it's fascinating and as you were saying that I was visiting so much with that I think your children on a fantastic place because the grandmother was so much where to send your gonna bring them so much more of the stuff that maybe you didn't have to know for your own of your parents and I think that they'll be blessed to obviously have your wisdom around that and there was one other thing you said which was you called escape yourself and I just saw this fantastic actually made that bold on my page here because we have to you well I selves faced you know this is the purpose of the show because for twenty four hours a day every single day until our last day but with ourselves so we can help we can love our parents because of our kids because of us prices as much as possible but when they're not there is just is just out of the woods yeah even myself when I struggle I have friends I can confide in but then double my friendly's my side %HESITATION my wife is my site it's just me and unless I'm not fixing myself and realizing because you again into the point you said we're not broken we just I suppose we just rebuilding Justin about strong enough I'm always trying to cut it so I thought that was one of the the one I keep were the best senses anyone's ever given me because it's something I can relate to I think it is definitely deep in us I think sometimes we need to look a little bit deeper robin just hit a generic stuff so I really appreciate you sharing that if I may off the back of that just ask you something a little bit personal please feel free to say you don't answer that's absolutely fine but you mentioned your mom again and that's probably where the trial the stock from with your childhood have you truly forgiven your ball but do you still hold any resentment towards a I have truly forgiven my mom %HESITATION I still I think with me I long for true authentic connection which means that whoever is in communication the also needs to be able to be authentic and I think it's really hard for some people to be that self honest because to be honest with yourself you have to feel everything and you know it's a generational thing their generation is just not equipped to feel on that level so I also have to for me it's not accepting just acceptance of yeah here she is and where she's in honoring her past and her journey and it's different very different from mine so for me it's been about acceptance forget forgiveness is part of it but it was about it it was about acceptance and like I was trying sometimes my mission to heal in transforming changes meant that I haven't you know accepted I heard the situation how it how it is and I because I wanted things to be better and I can see it could be better could be better you know this call is pushed pushing again I'm and partly that's good that's good for a person who really wants to grow and evolve but for someone who's just like I just want to be me in this moment %HESITATION so that's been one of my biggest learnings particular relations my mom is just like this that letter be more women yeah but I'm on a very different mission %HESITATION so so yes I would say it for you absolutely forgiveness is there but now my practice is just really acceptance of Santos the north and I think that's a great lesson for anyone listed is that not everybody will have the same dreams goals aspirations or the desire to grow hi yes I. freezes you are and myself and it was very frustrating for me when I have family members and friends who I want to see do just as well as minnows that come along with the security of light south developments operation nine out of ten of a lot actually I'm just fine where I am and I could never understand and used to frustrate me I'm almost to the point where you're trying to get into the head and understand their logic and not in itself would drive you crazy and yeah I did find just accepting the way that they are because of their own belief system and just whatever they desire was just so much easier for myself and then on though let's just work on myself and maybe one day I can inspire them to maybe think Hey I want the couple cool just trying to enhance my life because I suppose sometimes I'll say and I think ignorance is bliss like before I went on the self development JD lysosomal simply was that's what Monday to Friday and let's get drunk on a Friday night cover the Senate and about to break where is now but body myself on all these layers of my life but at the same time I truly enjoy like I I love what I do I love the whole landing on the government so much in just this last fifty minutes for yourself that note notebook would really give me because it's just been a an authentic people conversation so I want people to kind of fill how long feeding now but again like you said something he stopped except not everyone's may be ready for it in this metallic time yeah so yeah I'm and I would ask you another question and if I if I may and this one is you're in well I would consider not a very good place or at least in a place where you can kind of rely on yourself and maybe make yourself more violence but I want to ask you what's your biggest fear right now in this moment sure it's interesting I think one of my biggest fear is being alone and I mean suffering I I think having like a painful death is also something that scares me I don't mind dying I'm at peace the dying I just don't want pain %HESITATION but being being alone so I realize that connection really deep heart center doesn't the connection fuels me deeply so yeah I think being being totally alone is my answer to that one and and that's being alone from I'm assuming people not in terms of your practice of started chewed or anything like that no because I need that now and I I've I realize that but I I I used to hate I used to run a mile from being alone in anyway and yeah me too big being alone lead you know see because you can be around people and you can there can be a business you can still feel alone yeah at a lonely and that that is something that I've experienced a lot in my life and the I've realized because I need to sort of do get exam to feel to feel yet to see a connection with people %HESITATION so yeah I think being loaned me is probably %HESITATION yes the idea of like a sometimes a sinking gosh if I get old you know no no friends so there's no family and I'm all alone you know that I think is one of the worst things a nice I there's so many people that feel so alone in this world was so many billions of people in it kind of breaks my heart so I feel like I'm also kind of is my fear and then also motivates me to do something about that like how can we shift this alone academic that seems to be on this plan of so many people so so I take my fears and then on the rights what can we do you know that it inspires me to take action and do something I think you touched or someone at a program for you which is low enough so in my last life as a social worker I became aware of the statistics of people suffering and I went in the auto sector and the amount of I does who you I would go visit for Caro just to see how they're doing I was heart breaking with the had no family or friends and and it really did make me feel grateful for this the simple things the ability to just pick up the phone and have a conversation with someone because loneliness is it so it is side it's horrible and I don't wish on anyone and it is actually something that hopefully I can announce to the next maybe years so I'm trying to do more for mental health is trying to create a social enterprise where they're gonna with the money that we raise from the business we're gonna donated to open like day centers and night centers for people who are struggling in isolation %HESITATION just to kind of give a a safe haven where there's no stigma attached to suffer with a mental health to come into a safe place and not be alone basically because through my experience I believe it was a movement often have an informative folk with quite a few people there would say the one thing that they'd want is just someone to talk to without without the fear of judgment and just not be that long because I think they feel like they are unknown and they stroking had swiped like I said with this show is to show people that your problem is an exclusive to you there are diss identifica will connect and we just try to support each other we can hopefully %HESITATION have a have a have a happier life basically all that so beautiful absolutely and and what I've learned because I'm so I've you know supported many many people now over the years is that if you're struggling with something there there is someone else who's struggling the same thing like we're not alone and this is the things also I feel passionate speaking openly authentically to help other people realize you're not the only ones struggling you know yeah and so I think it's beautiful I love your vision thank you thank you we are not you are they going to going to the faux pas the shows are you ready yes okay three two one if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be poverty your favorite beer I TA your biggest role model Oprah Winfrey what would you like to be remembered for love your biggest goal this year Christian because because this year to find where we want to let you waste mistake not appreciating every moment of my girls and they were little if you could relive one day again what they would it be when my girls are for like two and five when they're little day whenever that all the ability to fly it will be visible fly the number one thing that I'm doing easy dishonesty money or fame money your proudest moment giving birth to my girls your favorite food Indian would you rather speak four languages we'll be able to speak to animals I can speak to okay this is an old or languages eight yeah if you had an extra hour a day how would you spend it walking with my husband if you could sit with one person in the world for an hour he would it be dead or alive once the Oprah Winfrey we're at the end of the %HESITATION quick fire round how did you find that that was fun good stuff good stuff okay I'm really interested about the %HESITATION speaking with animals so of dust if your conversation for the day not as fascinated us of doctor do those stuff there so I always wanted to be a vet that was my I've always been obsessed with animals and loves loves them okay but it will almost certainly at the end of the show nine Lara so just a couple more questions if I may the next one is about reflection some of them believe that hindsight is a wonderful thing because I was the upon reflection weaker yen and think of ways to get to where we are currently quicker easier over less heartache but at the same time %HESITATION so guess the journey teaches us a lot as well it's always a real belief of mine that everything kind of happens for a reason so knowing exactly what you know now I with all your knowledge and we always them if you could go back to maybe younger Lara maybe when you were fourteen and your going through the the emotional trauma of the of your life and you can just whisper something in the younger Lars yeah what would you say I would say and I would tell her who she is so I would say that you are loved your very deeply loved you're beautiful person you got a beautiful heart you have a special you have special gifts and special sensitivity I would tell her all about the ways that she needs to be looked after nourish to feel okay %HESITATION it took me a long time to learn that and and talked about her lights and M. that she's fine Sir and energies and emotions really difficult and stressful and so I would just be telling her soothing loving things in her ear speak for us before I'm sure you probably say these kind of things not to do is you're going to just be such a bad emotional space front of which is %HESITATION which is fantastic and I suppose the lesson tortoises off I hope so yeah I'm sure you do great and that she does I believe this to the last question and the last question I always like trust my guess is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty years time science fails to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you and it tells us all the way in a wonderful things that you've done in life and everything up by you firstly what with the title of the book B. and second what the Blair about the back tell us about you the title would be follow your heart and it's interesting you know I think the things that I'd want to be your remember for as the kindness and love which is interesting right is it almost like I want this sort of essence be there but %HESITATION you know my my desires are you know touching touching millions of people's lives and %HESITATION making an impact inspiring people to trust in themselves trust in their heart dressed in their inner knowing %HESITATION and I hope to make the path easier for people so somehow that by me doing my part of my life Ives somehow clear that path a bit making a little bit easier to walk for future generations something along those lines nothing must be for this view for some reason I mean you definitely made my life easy just in this very brief conversation I'm excited to kind of funny you Jenny moving forward because you've got twenty years experience so for us to be able to just latch on to that and almost kinda get a bit of a head start and then go through the process with you it's fascinating I think calling this and love are two you know the most be for things that we we all should whether it's natural what do we have to learn it just just landed because it will it's going to be in such a better place and finally just on that and following your journey which I really want to encourage every person that listens to the show and all was said to be doing it myself is how can we follow you and how can we connect with you if that's okay with yourself while the best platforms well I love connecting I realized something that motivates me more than anything %HESITATION so I'm on you too if you put in Lara Waldman abundance activator %HESITATION I'm on Facebook if you can larva of an abundance activator I'm on Instagram Lara Waldman official and my website is Lara Waldman dot com and if you want to reach I've got a contact form on the website they're fantastic what I will do is pull or those with the actual links in the show notes so anyway listen to this episode it you just go to the show notes and click it directly and get in touch with you well obviously be promoted on ward aspects of social media are I just wanna say once again thank you so much for your time in order your knowledge that you've lasted so with today and I want to thank everyone at home thank you for listening thank you so much for having me it's been a great pleasure and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Everlasting touch" by Kimberly JoNell #30Tagline: "Compassion, kindness, connection, empathy & love will carry throughout human civilization"What an incredibly beautiful soul Kimberly JoNell is.A woman who has faced her biggest fears, of losing her friend, both parents and her belongings to Hurricane Katrina. A lady who spends every waking hour serving others, with no expectation of receiving anything back. A graceful individual who focuses on making the world a better place for children, teenagers and all those who experience trauma to some level in their lives. I am forever grateful to have shared an hour with Kimberly as I genuinely believed I learnt so much from her story, her experience, her wisdom and knowledge. She is someone who has shown me I have yet so many further steps to travel. But she also showed me that I was right in what I was doing.We must all live to and through our own purpose. We must become self-aware and recognise our own beauties and become in touch with ourselves so that we can then leave an everlasting touch to the rest of the world.It was also the first time I have ever shown clips of the episode prior to launching because I have genuinely never felt such a connection with someone, whose message is so pure, authentic and sincere. I urge you all to support this amazing lady and follow her incredible journey on the links shown below.Some key discussion points:How to become more self-awareThe importance of self-loveFacing and overcoming adversityIntent and sincerityLiving with energy and inspirationImportance of being curiousThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to KimberlyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacksonk10Podcast: https://anchor.fm/you-are-the-wealth-with-kimberly-jonell/episodes/Having-Less-Stuff-Can-Reduce-Anxiety-e4g359Twitter: https://twitter.com/YouAreTheWealthPippa Transcript:welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice my name is iron and as always I am the host of the show so today I am bringing you Kimberly JoNell somebody who who got me through the interview to state this was actually the greatest three minutes dot ever experience so far %HESITATION find your voice maybe that is because it's something that resonated with me somewhat more than maybe it will with yourselves but what I will say is that that three minutes completely changed the way that I see people in the way that I did not carry out my life and again this is why I'm not trying to move the show a little bit more towards because I'm very conscious that we can all get inspired and motivated by hearing all these stories of people overcoming adversity and going through the trials and tribulations but still remaining positive is still persevering but what I want to start to do not %HESITATION is trying to ask each of my guess a couple of tips a couple of things that we can take away so last week you had the incredible tale that give us the clay act message and that was fantastic and in fact what you've been doing that for the last two weeks and Kimberly crops are owner gets and these looks absolutely incredible and I would just want to say it once again my gratitude to committee for taking time out of a day I certainly learned so much and realize that this personal development Jedi dom on I have so much further to go pretty speedy forty six it's exciting and I'm really enjoying the process and hopefully you guys I've come along on the journey as well are enjoying it too so without further ado let's get this interview on the way okay so firstly I just wanna thank Kimberly for taking time out of a day to come when I show today and be quite enough to share his story as she's actually have podcaster herself a business owner a trauma specialist which is actually something I'm really interested to hear more about a community I reach and youth health educator SO very excited for this opportunity she's on the other side of the road actually so we are connected via Skype which is fantastic in this is kind of the thing that podcasting kind bring to the surface so before we begin can really how you doing today I'm awesome just excited to be here and and and opportunity to talk with you and the rest of your listeners thank you so much for taking the time and having me here today I appreciate it you're very welcome thank you too as well for taking time out your day so it's quite easy for me it's ten o'clock here in the U. K. and parties even a free use of bless you for having to deal with me rambling gone in the morning so %HESITATION I'm a morning person luckily for you saw my so hopefully this will be plain sailing I think it's going to be important for my listeners to get to know your story a little bit from yourself so if you wouldn't mind can belief you kind of just give us I suppose a summary of of your life some things of by you have basically what brings you here today thank you sure so %HESITATION I grew up in a small town outside of Cincinnati Ohio Colerain township and I both of my parents live in the household with me my dad was a truck driver my mother was a stay at home mom and essentially I had a pretty %HESITATION pretty interesting childhood I went back and forth between Louisiana during my summers and %HESITATION didn't really have a lot of extended family in the city where we lived only child so that definitely I provided a lot of insight for me growing up in terms of spending a lot of time alone and I think it has developed a lot within me where I'm pretty self to pay and then in terms of with my self awareness %HESITATION most of my childhood friends I'm still very close to now but there were a lot of experiences I had throughout my childhood and teenage years which brought a lot of curiosity for B. into the things that I'm interested in now %HESITATION I particularly had several relatives in my life who had special needs and the growing up in the nineteen eighties you really did not have a lot of explanation or information available as to what special needs wise what developmental delays wire and throughout my high school years I began to read up a lot more about it I had a cousin in particular that had autism %HESITATION and so I developed an interest in that and I eventually started studying speech pathology in college and I found out from that from that field that we work with individuals who have ox is M. we work with individuals who have other developmental delays that and then we will also serve children who have articulation delays language delays stuttering all of those different facets in childhood there's other rounds of speech pathology as well so part of my %HESITATION my background in that is from some of the early experiences in exposures I had with people who had a developmental delays or cognitive delays so that was sent that was of a big passion of mine early on %HESITATION I'm passionate about electronics and if anybody files my Instagram page they'll see that I'm usually into a lot of different things but %HESITATION I enjoy anything dealing with technology being here for forty years now I have observed so many revolutionary things that have been brought to the %HESITATION into the space with regards to technology advancements the internet %HESITATION and now we're involving %HESITATION evolving into a lot of other things in terms of digital currency %HESITATION I was just reading an article last night about a timeless vehicles so I'm just I'm just a very curious person to being only child I didn't really have a lot of friends early on and I spent a lot of time by myself so curiosity just drives me %HESITATION I'm incredibly grateful I I went through a lot of very difficult situations early on in life I'm I witnessed %HESITATION a violent incident in my early twenties which shaped a lot of things for me %HESITATION I had a very close friend of mine in my early twenties that was killed so that shaped a lot for me as well %HESITATION during my last year of college I'm last right before after graduation from college my family in Dort hurricane Katrina %HESITATION which was a mass of hurricane that impacted the Louisiana and Gulf coast area of the United States and throughout that process I lost everything I had because most of my things were in Louisiana at the time and I was living in a different state so I had the indoor loss %HESITATION several times throughout my life and then two years later both of my parents passed away unexpectedly so sorry to hear that %HESITATION well you know it it does those challenges are things that so many of us have to go through and %HESITATION and and back to that just with my parents that was a huge motivator for me as well in terms of getting into the mental health field at because I did have a lot of observation throughout my childhood with people in my family who struggle with mental health issues and at that time no one really gave it a label but you kind of just observe things that were happening around you and then also observing things that happen within myself as a teenager I struggled a lot with anxiety I struggle out was depression I think that was around the first time in my life and maybe around seventeen or eighteen when I really started to feel what depression felt like and %HESITATION so as I got older I really began to try to understand more about and it wasn't until after my parents passed away that I would there be and it really I mean I am a huge advocate for therapy for people now so that brought me into the mental health realm of where I am now with helping people in the community outreach with trauma and %HESITATION I've taken mindfulness training to try to assist people with that area of their life as well so I'm all over the place but I have many many passions and it it is what keeps me going and just being able to provide something of value to to to the world why what a story so you've definitely exceeded my expectations already in the so many things I actually own a car from that story so face the odds I just love your I chewed because for somebody who's in George so much loss not just only with your friend be a Paris which you know I I send my deepest condolences for %HESITATION you you have such a brilliant attitude that you are grateful for the difficult situations in your life and this is literally it's almost like if I had to think of a perfect guest to have a my show Kimberly you would be that guess because I want people to realize that the calls that would tell in life because we choose and sometimes it works sometimes it bad and it's about having to overcome the adversity and almost used adversity is a gift and you've you've taken on all these obstacles in your life and not what you're doing is you're saving others and you'll fulfilling yourself your happiness and I and I just loved about you that you you send for instance your cousin who's suffered with autism and you said I need to understand is a little bit better and you've dived into that topic and now you're trying to make a difference for people free speech pathology that you mentioned and I like that your all over the place I love that because for some people it's quite common for them to kind of thing that I need to be an expert in one field will kind of stick to one lane I love a lot yourself I am very chaotic my mind is all over the place I am into property on one side I mean to podcast into his by the board in one place I am also an advocate of children's as struggling so my younger brother has wound isn't as well and I was a social worker in my past life so there's a lot of things I can and resonate with you even with the depression my mom suffered a depression some trying to start a social enterprise to raise awareness so I wish I had more of me or more of you actually could you have so much more awareness to me that we could almost in the short amount of time that we have one in this bill would make such a positive difference and I mean even the hurricane Katrina that was big news over here in the U. K. is about that experience Dynegy spoken to somebody who's lived out means it's one thing seen on the television on and if you wouldn't mind because it's quite unique topic could you just maybe run through that area to what it was like in terms of how you're feeling and what you have to do I'll absolutely ads for me I moved actually I graduated from college in may of two thousand five I was attending a college in Louisiana New Orleans and I actually have an apartment in east New Orleans I received a job offer to move to Georgia and two weeks after I packed up my storage unit in just packed up probably a suitcase full of belongings intro to Atlanta Katrina hit all of my family and friends were still there the first thing I could think of in terms of just describe my my emotions was powerless I had a friend who was a nurse and %HESITATION one of the hospitals in the north the the uptown area of New Orleans she was trapped in the hole in the hospital %HESITATION I have family members who were trapped in the lower ninth ward I'm I remember being at work because I was working as a speech pathologist at the time I'm sitting in my office texting my friend who was a nurse in the hospital during apple after the hurricane that hit the levy said broke in the water it flooded the city her phone was literally the only phone on that floor her hospital they had no electricity no power I was texting her in telling her what was happening because they had no idea that the levy said broke they knew the hurricane hit they were out of power and she was in the hospital where a lot of people died because a lot of the hospital patients who did not have power for the the hospital equipment %HESITATION it was it was in a %HESITATION deal that I will never ever forget it taught me so much about just not taking things for granted I'm and also being okay with things being out of your control %HESITATION but but that particular situation with with Katrina let so much for me because I watch so many people lose so much more I lost physical possessions but I watched people that lost their whole community %HESITATION I had family members who lost neighbors who drowned one of my mother's childhood friends drowned in Katrina and she didn't find out until three months four months later %HESITATION his name popped up on the list and so %HESITATION that contribute to a lot of depression for her and she actually passed away two years after Katrina but the stress of that that situation and to watch even all these years later the posttraumatic stress that so many people in that city in in that region experienced and never still yet received support or have provided have been providing the type of %HESITATION mental health %HESITATION S. U. resources to help them with that you know I'm I'm very passion about trauma %HESITATION because it's something that is in the body the body you know there's a book out that I read about four five years ago called the body keeps the score and I think of that all the time with Katrina and terms or any natural disaster in the around the world when things are not provided for people to work through that trauma or when people are not educated on how trauma shows that up it impacts so much so for me that situation was it was a life changing for my entire family but for me to witness that %HESITATION for me to be in contact with people who are actually on the ground and did not have access to water or food in no idea what was happening it was it was literally just %HESITATION an out of out of body experience it really was the sun's up sees her flying and hope they listed as you have just heard that emotional story don't wait for %HESITATION catastrophe or disaster like hurricane Katrina to be grateful for the things that we do have fortunately I'd I have experience or the adversities are possible and want to hear from you he just makes me so much more grateful for the little things I have as well and even more so than already have you said something that was really powerful and it was being okay with the things being out of your control I know as simple as that sentence is I just feel that we will struggle with that yes and we'll have concerts you miss in the day and then I fix a motions on our behavior in the way we treat our friends and our families and it's something I'll definitely try to be more mindful of I think you to turn it previously it's about my furnace and the money keeps the school always is it's it's something not she heard about six months ago and it really makes sense to me and I've seen people who have been through trauma or who have been through hat similar to yourself and your body does take a toll because the physiology although we wanna see extending tenderly it's it's damage in a so I'm putting you on the spot here a little bit can be if you don't mind but no go ahead I can handle it customer you hundred much way so I could see myself should be fine but if you could just give say one tangible tape to somebody whether it is something as simple as just trying to be okay with things being out of your control just something of somebody experiences some level of adverse to a former in that moment what tip could you just help somebody with a tip that I can help someone with %HESITATION my biggest thing that with the teenagers that I work with is just self awareness %HESITATION body awareness of being more aware of what's going on inside of your body what he's feeling how how you breathing now what are you thinking of I %HESITATION I I truly believe that you know we it will manifest our thoughts and our body gives us feedback on everything that we transmit you know whether it's a verbal emotional energetic %HESITATION visual it's all we out process that we process it differently but to be just really self aware %HESITATION you know that is that is the most thing that I have learned in anger years of my life recently I haven't always been self aware maybe I have I did have a label for but just to be self aware yeah %HESITATION knowing yourself and and and being okay with that and then also but not not judging yourself in that in that same breath you know but just really knowing yourself and know having your boundaries %HESITATION being compassionate with yourself and we all have struggles we all have problems but not focusing on the problems as much I'm shifting your mindset that speak to that's that's a really big thing too but self awareness for me it is powerful it has worked at any age self awareness can be obtained it is not limited to you know in a certain stage of the journey that's a fantastic and so I need give us some gold information so thank you for the help and I hope it helps the land I really do it justice changed my life absolutely I think I'd so much value it one thing that I do try to do and as you said it reminded me to do it again was to be aware so I almost sat Lopez you were talking just to kind of control my breathing again proper breathing I then became self aware of my body so the sensation of my feet touching the floor in my hands resting on my thighs and little things that I think we go through life and we're almost so reactive that we we tend to forget all of that and then yeah something also so before which was not judging yourself and be compassionate with yourself and I'm probably hit the west for this because I will beat myself up over the most trivial things yet if my friends or my family what to do the same thing I would almost burned all run that showed a and sometimes I sing there I think what can I talk to myself the way that I took two of this and I think I would be living in a much better place I hope it makes no sense but I sometimes feel that we are our own worst enemies at times so I think the specified testing and we should all try to be calm and more self aware have you got any recommendations in terms of books %HESITATION courses Ole is it something that maybe you can offer the list this all my goodness there's so many books that I've read but again if there's one thing to read it but to actually and put it into practice and make it practical in your daily living %HESITATION at their at their %HESITATION I don't really know of any books that teach self awareness it it's something that that I have just more more psychology more psychology behind in anything I read a lot of self help books over the years but really understanding human behavior and psychology reading books about psychology has been tremendous for me I took psychology in college as a minor so I I had a lot of exposure to human development but now that I'm out of college I still continue to feed my brain with things to help me better understand sociology and psychology and and and human behavior I'm as I would like to say just searched anything was self awareness on the internet find people on social media who are interested in that look up hash tags about self awareness I talk about it a lot on my on my Instagram page %HESITATION I was I'm sorry go ahead no sorry I was just gonna say Kimberly or better yet follow you on your Instagram yes they yes I do I tap on it a lot in my on my my social media platform I really do because I don't think that people are a familiar with that term enough and %HESITATION again there they could somebody be eighty years old and not self aware it really is a way of being and so many people like you said %HESITATION are reactive we're just going to life to auto pilot if they're not really in tune with who they are and how they respond to the world and and being sent a lot of people have sensitivities %HESITATION anxiety is something that many people suffer with but anxiety is also triggered by a lot of sensitivity issues things in the environment you know some people are very sensitive to energy so it really makes a difference you know once you are aware of who you are and how you respond to your to life in the navigate from that space of level of understanding yourself this brilliant thank you thank you for sharing knowledge I think maybe this is more of an actual Jenny for this one they just simply picking up a book and hoping that's going to solve our problems I think it is definitely gonna require some level of daily work for this yes I'm using your own words here that you previously mentioned that you you kind of all over the place and in the things that you're doing could you kindly give us an insight into what a day in the life is like for you oh my goodness a day in the life will I wake up extremely early am I like to operate when the world where I am is still pretty quiet %HESITATION but I am constantly learning about different things %HESITATION I'm in I teach sex education that's what I do %HESITATION throughout the week %HESITATION with high school kids in the city where I live so I'm working on modules for the upcoming week I am going over questions that they ask a lot of them I give them a little box and I pass around the class I have a hundred and fifty kids this summer that according to my course date posted give questions to me anonymously and %HESITATION I'm not sure how it is there in London where you are but here in the United States sex education is not a U. eighty normalized curriculum or course in in public schools here and I'm really working on changing the conversation for that because we need it I see the feedback from the teens in the use here in the U. S. that they really want information they want %HESITATION information about how to protect themselves they want information about consent understanding that about %HESITATION this past week we did negotiation skills those are things life skills that will not of us ever ever really taught you know communication skills getting the foundation for that start early we both know communication skills are things that we have to evolve upon the route life but in the teenage years to have the opportunity to start learning communication skills and understanding with healthy and unhealthy relationships are and understand the carrot sticks of abusive relationships so I do that %HESITATION I still provide valuable insight to people who have children with special needs because that is still a passion of mine autism is still widely misunderstood autism is still very taboo and there are a lot of more holistic approach is to help kids with autism I worked in a program about four or five years ago in autism program in Virginia beach Virginia and it provided a lot of insight for me on how to approach with autism and and how to help them connect better with with people that are serving them in the school system serving them in the home and also about them when they get older me when they get older what are we what space that we have available for them what type of jobs are things that we have available in place for them so those are things that I'm working on %HESITATION I also do volunteer work I work in the nonprofit sector here I am helping to eliminate a lot of smoking environments where we are because the air pollution is is is pretty high where we are and %HESITATION we have a lot of places that still allows smoking in certain public areas where children are asked me is is a very high incident here in the area where I am so I'm involved in that I'm involved in a black chain chamber of commerce we are also educating the world about blockchain the things that are happening in that sector and how it's going to revolutionize things in in the world %HESITATION with with all of that so I'm all over the place while really just everywhere and you do all of this in the same twenty four hours is as all of us and you know what black Jane yeah blacks say this typically webinars %HESITATION we have webinars I can't always attend the meetings their meetings every day about blockchain throughout my city but I at the particular chamber that I'm in we do a lot of note similar to the Skype limits are popping if they have a meeting I try to find out you know what what they're working on it how I can contribute %HESITATION the sex ed courses go on during the day I only teach for about an hour and a half because the kids are in the summer program so I come in and provide them with the need in their lives and take questions and then I move on but I am busy and I home school my daughter so I do that too it I'm maximize my day but I mean it it just flows I mean I'm just so happy to be alive to be here so it it doesn't I never really get burned out I I have found a way to really just take it all in and and focus on things that I'm passionate about it because my intention behind everything is good %HESITATION it just flows it really does I love that I chill Olwen expend energy from may so it feels like you'll got so much let your inspiration this this self service the selfless yes you just giving out and most of it is probably because of the addresses of come in your life to make you feel so grateful have you always been that a Colleen generous personal how's life almost made you just appreciate everything you have to then go out and try to give more to the world %HESITATION you know I honestly I I think I've always been that way they had a lot to do with my parenting %HESITATION my parents did everything they could to keep me very grounded %HESITATION I I grew up in a in a it was a lot a lot and %HESITATION even though there were some things that occurred you know by parents or are not perfect but they they both do their very best to make sure that I stay grounded and date expose me to things where I was able to see that I was very blessed in the situation that I was in and they always made sure that I I remain humble %HESITATION so a really had to do with my parents in my eyes my parents again they they were great they have their own struggles but they truly %HESITATION embodied compassion and empathy in mice that my mother used to we will go to New Orleans they were children in the neighborhood who who who didn't have a lot of food and they're they're I don't know what their situations where because I was probably eight or nine years old I remember she would pack food for them and and give them food and and we would she was very passionate about the elderly community and senior senior citizens and she would spend time with them as he would take me with her and do all of those things so I grew up seeing it modeled in people in my life and so for me it was just natural it was part of being human I love it your mother sounds like an incredible lady she was housing and I gained some of those lessons that the compassion the empathy and stuff I have to be very grateful as well that that was instilled in me from my parents and this is probably one of the main things along with kindness to a one one day when I do have children T. just instilled in nothing that's a hell of a lot more important than some of the things we think are important growing up in life such as the results that you get on an exam for example who's got the best trade is what I mean that there's more important things compassion empathy or not so that's a beautiful on sat and just on not then what is your intrinsic and why you know what I do so much and I don't expect anything in return and so I think that has a lot to do with that I just I want to see people happy I want to see people for Phil and I want to see people doing what they love I at throughout my life I have observed so many people who are unhappy and who were not enjoying life and it has it's saddening sometimes to see that %HESITATION and then there it's comes from people who you know who have gone through a lot but just to be alive you know that's that's just enough you know is just enough %HESITATION I just don't take anything for granted %HESITATION at the I just don't we have a lovely I think your intent is is so truthful and honest and I'm not sure if it's something that maybe we would have to go through adversity to kind of gain that deception without clarity the fact that you want to see people happy you want to see for filled and seeing them do what they love that's literally how are you try to be I mean all I'm AT my Jenny I am still learning I love it so much from you just in the short amount of time that we had together so very grateful for that and I don't understand myself and I'm going to find a bit of a tangent here so excuse me but I see a lot of people especially on social media who pretends to have the intent that you have no I could feel it from you just right did you notice the second says that you've been through that your your because nobody who's not pure would go out there and selflessly wake up early met the most of the day to be trying to make an impact in so many different areas of life which she feels that she can make an impact but in social media today after that we're also in a society where people will on this mask and then they almost try and say the right things in order to gain fame more publicity %HESITATION more like a social media I mean really white it really dries my kids because I can see straight through somebody's intent but you touched on something that was brilliant and is that you don't burn I and I think when you come from a place of inspiration and you come from a place of just your passion you're not going to bed not because you any Jesus bureau I mean I don't have the science behind that to back it but I I believe that because I don't have to get better %HESITATION when I'm working for most of the I'm passionate about but I feel that when I work for an organizational something with my values and ethics don't align with it I struggle a struggle between ones so I think that's a great message that you gave in this podcast is for people just to be honest with themselves again it comes back to self awareness of a kind of come full circle here that in life sometimes people are saying the buzz words because I feel that's going to attract more likes and attention where is I'm just saying just be yourself there's nothing wrong if you don't want to change the world there's absolutely nothing wrong with that if your house and your content in your field in your life then by all means just live that life but don't try to be something that you're not because I'm said finding it's hard enough just be myself and try to figure myself I run and try to have a second personally so yeah a little bit of a run that but I just I just feel that you've you've gave so much and clarity and value dava been able to kind of connect the dots that hope you're made about since two years ago is now yes thank you and I I totally agree you can definitely feel it and %HESITATION you know I'm I'm not in the business of of being negative on other people but I don't like to see people being deceived you know that's a big thing for me and that is that is where I I I said the self awareness I talk about that with my teenagers about being manipulated as did you have to be so in tune with yourself where you can see it coming a mile away I said it's a different game in this world now you know there's a lot of illusions that pretend to be the truth and you have to be on top of that and you have to trust yourself and if something doesn't feel right if something doesn't resonate then then don't force IT don't you know try to make it make it feel good and or to go with the flow but you're right you fit you can sense that I I'm the same way in it if used to trigger me it really did but I feel that when you're not operating from a space of integrity or a space of intent eventually it catches up with you it always does it always does I think I'm realizing that I think people who are trying to go for the short term gains will events short term yeah yeah absolutely but what was incredible they can really was as you said manipulation I literally wrote that would die some I'm not trying so if you hit the nail on the head is Zaki with them my thought process and I see in a society where people are taking advantage of people could because one I see people who already at a disadvantage anyway through the because of the man dell in life and it just really upsets me that there's a but I did then trying to exploit these people and so by almost trying to sell people that they're missing a key ingredient for example so you you're having people setting courses for like two thousand pounds because if you really want to be successful you need this one thing so you need to come by my course and I'm just like Hey you could talk about it and I'm I'm trying to think that we need to let yourself is try to be more persuasive rod in trying to manipulate people but I think if people with self aware and use they got interested what you just said I think we definitely in a better place but yeah that's that's interesting thank you for that your welcome and just to add on that %HESITATION people prion in security and anytime that someone can make another person feel as if they are not enough then they open that door where they can say you're not enough here's what you need from me in order to you know and that I learned what I work in the nonprofit sector I'll I observe that a lot of people go into underserved communities and they would do the photo ops they will go when under the agenda that they were there to serve and to help but it was really just to for their own personal gain it was either for notoriety and the people in the community what will begin to not trust in a will go away and then we will try to provide information and resources they would say well how long you going to be here because most people come in they collect data from us and they leave and so I saw that in real world experience and then for to see it on the internet now on social media is so much easier for people everybody's looking for something and and they and then those who are preying on people they are out here doing it with with expectation of something in return whether it's money whether it's likes whether its followers but it's not coming from the space of I am here to to provide value for you I don't want anything from you and like you said the short term is a short term objective but is is the long term because I believe we're all interconnected if we can provide value for someone it's plants the seed that can alter their life life choices in their lifetime and they shouldn't require anything from someone else you know just the energy exchanges enough you know that's enough yeah can be this is this is exactly why I love this podcast on from from a sunfish perspective dot last three minutes not on twenty eight shows that's probably the best three minutes to all I've been fortunate to have heard maybe because it resonates with me on a personal level so you said something that and I I got a bit emotional and and the heads of my home stood up because he said people pray on security and I fill in the last twelve months somebody who I considered very close to me prior mind security from mind's eye you my shyness and it was almost led to believe that any of the success I have in the future was down to this one individual yes in hindsight when a simple thing can I think I've had to or that we can all I've got to overcome my fear is I've got to go and try to do public speaking and then embarrass myself because the words don't come out and I've got all those reps in those I was in those sleepless nights but there was a time when I wasn't as self aware %HESITATION realizing my own values always bring into the world and I didn't believe that it was all done to this one individual one it was incredible how the how they I suppose it was be manipulated I'm to be honest and only share this on not to kind of broadcast this as this individual I'm trying to book classes to people who may be going through the same situation because I now sit here and I I feel hurt and I feel pain that I feel that the individual has loss probably one of the most low people on the road and that's one thing that I would always try and be is is just a very loyal person to people even myself on this JWT person development six seven years I'm still landing everyday so am I on a selfish reason that really resonated with me massively and I hope it does for that for the laces are because I'm sure we're all going to be coming into contact with people who we generally think have our best intentions are hot but deep down and their intent is not as pule and %HESITATION and I I truly believe that is all comes down to your intent yes it does it does so thank you for that and I'm gonna just flipped the script nice so I want to ask you have you been through so much adversity and since so much in your incredible story and you could talk about this for days just a shame that you're on the other side of the road but what actually scares you in this moment what's your biggest fear you know to be honest I almost want to say I don't have any fears but I think for me there's a inner urgency just to make sure that I do everything that I can in terms of my mission here before I leave here and and I don't really know when that time will be but other than that I don't really have any fears and I'm not afraid of death I'm not afraid of failure I'm not afraid of of of is there a being embarrassed %HESITATION I've shared a lot of personal things on my Instagram page that most people probably would not share out of fear of judgment I'm not afraid of judgment I'm not really afraid of anything and I think that that's what my fuel is it's like no one can say anything that can really take me out of my space and it it just it empowers it empowers me that I don't have any really I don't really have any fears of anything I just I haven't always been this way though so now it has this has been a journey to get get this I used to be afraid of a lot you know but %HESITATION again I think the experiences that I've gone through have basically all of my fears that I had I had to face them so no thank you for sharing that thank you for mentioning that you wasn't always like this because I I think when somebody and hopefully people after this show will be the definite gravitate towards you for you that might just think that it's okay for Kimberly Camby's got it all figured out what people don't realize is everyone has a story and everyone becomes the way they are because of whatever is happening this previous chapters that's kind of one of the purposes behind the show and if I'm completely honest now you've got me intrigued because I'm I'm kicking myself that I did it do you more stalking into your personal is around is my own you know put my hands up because I think Instagram we look at it and we look at pretty pictures it is not attracted us in the face to the second record of I scored away so I'm very interested not to kind of go back into your posts and the whole the listeners do as well because I'm sure there's going to be a lot that we can all learn from not so %HESITATION definitely %HESITATION food for thought for myself thank you for that yeah I'll you're welcome yeah there's there's a ton of %HESITATION information I've been on Instagram since two thousand eleven and believe it or not the first three or four years of Instagram my page was totally private I I used to be a very private person and then %HESITATION one day something came to my mind and it said you you're gonna have a lot that you need to do and you're gonna have to reach a lot more people and opening your account is the only way be able to do it to know you with it you can that work and talk to people and really connect with other people and I just always been a very private person I'm totally on the different end of the spectrum now there's nothing that I won't share about my life for the most part I'm pretty much open but %HESITATION yeah there's a ton of information there and I hope we can provide some value for people anything kind of watch my journey along the way over these years %HESITATION as well thank you and that's the V. for thing about it and I feel not it should be Stephanie your G. eat to spread your light and spread your message as well so if I ever see you doing anything in private I'm gonna tell you off myself piston he make sure they put out into the road because yeah yeah lightning definitely okay can be rested on the part of the show now which I like to cool the from Polish %HESITATION where I'm gonna put you on the spot and ask you also as a way to win for questions so we're gonna start in three two one what did you eat for breakfast %HESITATION nothing yet okay your biggest gift the ability to communicate the ability to fly %HESITATION be visible fly would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on life but many of fame that's not that's a tough one money or fame because both provide impact I wish I would have to say money because I could do things anonymously and still make an impact without the fame I don't want to sync your proudest moment becoming a mother your favorite food pineapple not fix the chief of man I used to pass down Kay your number one goal this year connect with more people that are international your favorite TV show ever you know what I was just talking about that yesterday I like Mister Rogers neighborhood there %HESITATION there's like great value in wisdom and that would you rather know how you would die or when you are done when your favorite hobby apple in books or movies books if you could sit with one person in the road for an hour who would it be your last I love to pick his brain US there is a child was actually something happened to my parents that was my worst fear and finally if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be I would abolish anything that would cause harm to children yeah I working with teenagers and knowing that a many of them are going through a lot or have been through a lot as a result of other people if I could if I could abolish any type of harm done to children because everything originates in childhood absolutely yeah thank you we are actually at the end right yeah brilliant okay so just a couple more questions can be from may and %HESITATION the next one I always like to ask my guess is about reflection so I'm a family even the whole inside is a wonderful thing in terms of it can teach just ways that we can get to places quick cash with less heartache Reza who all want to know is if you could knowing everything that you know knives go back to a time where maybe you will be and said no we're not clear way you we're going in life and whisper something in the younger Kim please yeah what would you say I would tell a younger Kimberly to trust herself yeah I would I would tell her to trust herself because there was a time when I would listen to what everyone else was saying my parents my friends and this is before social media so I can only imagine the at the feedback that people get now from strangers are from people that they don't now but to trust myself trust myself UPS is going to be okay everything's going to be okay love the love that thank you and sadly that she does bring us to the last question so if in a hundred fifty years time science vows to save us and all that exists is a book and this book it's about you it's about your life and all the way in a wonderful things that you've contributed to life and everything about you basically firstly what would the title of the book be and secondly what with the Blair but the back tell us about you the title would be everlasting touch mom and that the blurb on the back would have to be that S. the legacy is is is that compassion kindness connection %HESITATION embassy those and and love those are the things that that Kerry that that Kerry throughout human civil realization it's it's intrinsic of who we are it's it's wired in our DNA and %HESITATION and that's that's the touch that you know it goes through our address there are children it goes through us through people that we connect with I feel it through you and through and through the night you know it's it's the human value them up today how would you want to be remembered though as a person like what would you want the fasting that when somebody mentions your name that they say oh we can be yes she is sincere mmhm I think sincerity is something that people cannot imitate yeah or pretend sincerity sincerity hello love that thank you can release so %HESITATION so suddenly that she does bring this to the the end of the show is actually been one of my favorite shows and like I said this is a segment in here which really touch my heart and I've read so much just having this fifty minute conversation with you and I'll definitely show to kind of follow your Jenny but what I want to do is give the audience a chance to connect with you as well because I I think your fascinating %HESITATION individual I think you you bring so much so much good into the world nothing you can do so much more as well moving forward so if you wouldn't mind if you could just kind of give us the best places where people can perhaps reach out to you connect with you %HESITATION maybe just follow your Jenny sorry yes I am on Instagram as at Jackson K. ten I'd spell J. A. C. K. S. O. N. the number one zero and I also have another handle Instagram called you are the wealth that's also the name of one of my businesses and %HESITATION I have a pod my podcast this call you are the wealthy can find it on all the podcast platforms as well and yeah that that the you are the well this is something that I recently created because again the self awareness in the self worth is something that I believe needs to be cultivated and and everyone and %HESITATION damp that damn on Twitter is you are the well I'm not much on Facebook so you'll find me on Instagram or Twitter and then I have the podcast but but those are %HESITATION that that's enough for me I think I spread myself too thin the family absolutely absolutely nothing you doing at TI much anyway although I say I say that in a positive way because everything the duties of the fantastic so thank you thank you for sharing those can be all set order the information in the show notes so on how the actual links there for anyone that needs to click on it I want to once again from the ball my hot thank can be for a time today more importantly everyone a hold thanks for listening thank you and thank you for what you're doing as well it's much needed thank you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome dayAdversity Hurricane Katrina Loss of parents Self awareness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Happiness abound" by Taylor Proctor #29Tagline: "We are all capable of happiness abound"What an incredible episode this was. If I am completely honest and share my own vulnerabilities with this particular interview, I feel I wasn't at my best. I felt Taylor touched on so many things that resonated with me and reminded me of how far I still have to go on my journey that it almost became a self realisation exercise. This then threw me off course as it may be noticeable in the episode, but what it didn't do was throw Taylor off who delivered incredible value. It is for reason I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to have connected with Taylor who I believe will truly teach you all something tangible and useful to take away in your lives.I know for one, I will be implementing the CLEAR model myself to move my own personal development forward and I hope you can all do this too. She is an incredible woman, who also openly admits to not being this way her whole life and that it has been a process for her.I genuinely believe the tangible steps and tips that Taylor shares just in this episode alone can make you all happier, and let's be honest who doesn't want more happiness in their life eh?More importantly for anyone who can relate to the anger issues, perhaps this may also give you a huge insight in to why we are the way we are.Some key discussion points:How to control your angerSelf loveCLEAR modelEmbracing the processRemember whatever you are going through in life today, that you are 'not broken'. We can all heal, and we and grow as Taylor shows and shares in her beautiful story and also don't stop learning here. Go and support her and follow her podcast and journey in the links below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Taylor Proctor:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/taylor.proctor.31Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happiness_abound/?hl=enWebsite: https://www.happinessabound.comYouTube Transcript:welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode a fine your voice my name is art and as always I am the host of the show so I'm delighted to have to bring to you today Taylor proctor to the show and tell you is actually an experience podcasting fought she's had three hundred plus episodes so it's certainly recommend after this episode of course you go and check out her podcast but what really got me fascinated by Taylor this story into trying to get her on the show was that she teaches happiness but when I head out though well basically I would be happy also secondly wouldn't it be great if we can take the mind of somebody who does this for a living and then give that to you guys so you can walk away at least after this episode was something tangible is something that you can if you are feeling low or if you are in a situation where you are unable to control your emotions how some thing practical that you can utilize and that's what you want me in Taylor spoke about but more importantly I think you're gonna find her story very interesting because hopping this wasn't something that you would always associate with Taylor in fact it was anger and not without spoiling anything else I think this is probably a good time to jump over to the show okay fantastic so I just wanna start the show today then bye thank you my wonderful guest who's from the states her name is Taylor and we ought to just speaking just before I started this interview that was that you store can at full potential guest on Instagram and the thing that she stuck out for me from her by well was that she had the transformational happiness mental in her bio I'm not just got me thinking I thought you know what I need I need a bit of that and more point I'm sure so my listeners could or would do with a dose of happiness so that was kind of the reason I reached out to Taylor and I do thank you for taking time out of a day SO of seat time constraints it's the morning there so blessed issues first thing she's having to listen to is my voice this morning so thank you Taylor for coming on the show and how you doing today I'm doing fantastic thank you so much for having me on I'm so excited and honored and delighted to be here well you're very welcome and likewise I'm very excited to is off because as with anyone in the world I'm sure happiness is definitely one of the things that we will aim for it is one of my goals in life so hopefully by the end of this episode will be smiling and enjoy the rest of our days but before I carry on rumbling I really think it's important for the listeners in the audience to really get to know you a little bit so if you wouldn't mind if you could just kind of give us a bit of a history about your story and how you've kind of going through life I suppose to almost not become a transformational happiness mental absolutely so I was a very very angry person and I was the kind of person that there's there's a phrase a a group playing basketball and it was %HESITATION on my wall there was that the phrase it says hell hath no fury like five women on a fast break which is the basketball it was it was awesome and but when I look at this eight three angry time in my life which was in my early to mid twenties I it's the phrase hell hath no fury like Taylor minor league minor league inconvenienced because I would be I mean any small thing and I would just lose it I would be so %HESITATION three and there was a situation that really highlighted my need for emotional management where I and I sure the story to really truly highlight like the level of anger that lived in my life at the time I was on my way to a craft store and there was a parking spot available and I was patiently waiting like the person was backing out so I was patiently waiting I had my indicator on and it was just like the movies where the person pulls out and then someone else before they can even drive forward pulls into the spot and I was like this this just happen in real life like I've been waiting for like two minutes I've been indicating I've been waiting patiently the person's pulled out that's my spot and the entitlements the anger the aggression came through and I lost it I was screaming at the top of my lungs flipping them off honking my horn like crazy and I it like and they just stayed in the car rightfully so because there's this crazy angry person screaming at them and I there was the parking spot when around this corner and like so there is the way there is the pathway up the parking spot and then the main road kind of went around the corner of this parking spot and so I had to go around this main road so I'm honking at them and flipping them off for a good couple of more than a couple feet because I have to go around behind them around to the side of them and around in front of them to go back into the parking lot and it was it was a front row spot by the way it's I wasn't getting angry for something in the back right yeah who who who would do that also I I pulled around a parked in my spot clear clear down at the end and I'm walking forward and they pull out of the spot they didn't even get out of their car they didn't even go into the store and they pull out of the spot and they drive past me and they're a roll down the window and they say hope you're happy now and I was like like I had never in my life wished for I'm here in the states we have US seven elevens and they have what's called big gulps would you like I think they're thirty two ounce things of soda I don't drink soda I've never purchased one I have never in my life one one so bad to throw through that and so I was very very angry person about something that's really so minor and I go I go into the store and I everything just starts like swirling and I'm shaking because there are several things that happened right there is that initial anger that the trigger and then I felt scared because what if they had gotten another car well what I have done right what if what if when they're driving past me now I'm walking on on the parking lot they're driving past me where they just hit me with their great big SUV right so there's just there's this anger and then there's this fear that takes over me and then there's this this shame and guilt that hits me because it's like oh my gosh I'm not person I feel so out of control and I feel so guilty that I I just kinda lost it on the complete stranger that really probably didn't even see that I was waiting right yeah and and then there's the shame of I let my emotions gain control of like I I lost control of myself and just let my emotions run wild and it could have turned into a very dangerous situation and then I was like then sadness creep in because I don't even know who I am at that point man I can't you can't even recognize myself and so when I say I was an angry person it is no exaggeration and truthfully it's it's a %HESITATION in a space of I just was out of control I had no emotional management no no emotional awareness and something as much of a minor inconvenience of walking a couple extra feet from a parking stall several stalls down set me off and so at that point in amongst many others I decided that I need to start making a change so I started with just being aware of my emotions I started trying to really see where that anger in my life was coming from and for awhile there it was this Peter tauter if you well of anger and sheer and they would go back and forth because it would be I'd be so angry because that was my defense mechanism it wasn't it wasn't flight or freeze it was always fight and so when I was scared and I was scared of being vulnerable I was scared of being happy I was scared of being seen and so I would get into fight mode which would be anger so is this teeter totter of me always being angry always trying to fight the fear when in reality I just need to become aware of my of my possibilities and I need to realize that I wasn't broken because I looked around and I saw so many people who seem so happy and didn't have these this anger that I had or this fear or this anxiety that kind of was creeping in they didn't have these things that I could see and so then you know we grow up and were like oh you know everybody just everyone so happy and why am I not happy I'm broken so I started to feel like I was broken and there is something wrong with me and it wasn't until I started to really putting in the work and understanding that I'm not broken but we're also not just inherently happy and I think that's a big thing right we feel like we should be inherently happy and when when we're not we feel like we're broken and when we feel like we're broken we feel like we're lost and we feel like we're lost we fall into depressions we fall into despair we let our emotions control last so I started putting in the work and started realizing that I actually was capable of moving forward it capable of not being anger angry capable of not not being afraid of vulnerability and when that started to happen I started to gain confidence and realize that I was capable of having happiness abounds in my life and then that has become my mission and the name of my my business and my podcast is to remind people that they are capable of happiness abound self into state thank you so much for sharing that and you probably know is that through the %HESITATION was always resonates so much with your story to tell you that because one of the things I really dislike about myself is my inability to control my anger and I can be the most relaxed laid back person ever and I'm kind of sherry mobile nobody's now in this in this episode which was never the intention but I'd almost news and the thing you said about the broken bat I can resonate so much with that because and I look back at myself or look at the person in the mirror and I think that's not the best knower to be that's not the past now wake up every day and I try to be and I try to live my life the right way but in the state of frustration and aggression and I mean you mentioned a simple example they have a simple cost base I get those moments and I think you hit the nail on the head when you said entitlement not something to gain on you too obviously working myself with because I'm sure people listen to this will resonate as well my city the whole when you lose control and you sit back and then you have that feeling of shame as you mentioned it's not a great place to be in so thank you for asking for sharing that because the premise of the show was to tell people that whatever they going through in their life whatever Adventist useful because it is not alone and if I may ask have you got any quick on on no we could obviously speak about this for I was but just quick tips that you can recommend to somebody like myself or somebody else listed when you get into that state of frustration so for example after this episode if you go to seven eleven in your back pocket and somebody could see what what's your first reactions %HESITATION you'll method so there's a model called the clear model okay and it it stands for circumstance language emotion action and results I'll say that one more time please the it's the clear model and it stands for C. circumstance L. language E. emotion a action our results okay and an understanding of this model will change everything so essentially every circumstance in your life is neutral it's just a circumstance it's your language that you use speaking to yourself so your thoughts and your language that change it from a positive to a negative either way right and when we saw use the parking the parking style so the person stealing the spot neutral my idiot jump to my thoughts of and this is it specifically yeah I have been waiting I've been indicating that is my spot who is that are you take my spot and think that you can do this like those are all that that's the language I'm using and that's a language of entitlement that's a language of victim right and so that's that's sparks emotions because I feel like I'm the victim so I feel like I'm getting attacked I feel like something's not going my way therefore I'm getting afraid so that that sparked the language or the emotion of fear and the emotion of fear sparks for me because it's my template that I work through every day my next emotion of anger which then as I said it sparks the emotions of shame and guilt and sadness as well nobody likes to feel those so that continues to spark the emotion of anger to hide those so your circumstances neutral your language that you're using around the circumstance in your thoughts is what sparks the emotions the emotions spark action so I was angry so my action was is that I decided to drive my car around them and flip them off honk my horn be screaming at the top of my lungs and taking action that could trigger them and I think it kind of did because then when they came out they drove past me decide to go with me on a little bit more and then then the result of that was everything as I stood in this craft store everything kind of spinning around me as I felt this wave of emotions this guilt the shame and the real result was that this was a turning point that I need to change my life so understanding that the language we like if we go back up we crawl back up that tear the circumstances neutral is the language we have around it that shift everything else so if I go into a seven eleven this afternoon which is really funny it's it's a holiday here were recording on the fourth of July which is here an independence day and so it's totally American thing to go get a Slurpee %HESITATION but if I was to go do that and someone pulled into my spot ma'am my first thought might be seriously and then I go back through I go through the model and so I'm like can you change my thoughts and like you know what maybe they're in a rush maybe they're on their way to go do something %HESITATION and they need to to fill up on gas they need to go run in and pay for it first and I'm not in a hurry it's okay no big deal and that changes that changes everything because the next thing you know your emotions are okay cool well I'm not gonna let it ruin my day and there's a spot over there I'll just drive a little further and I could use the extra exercise and walking and that's great and so then the the actions of that is I walk a little extra maybe I smile at them when I as a walking past them as they walk out and my result is that my day is not ruined by somebody else's actions because like if I eat all the way back up the ladder controlled my thought absolutely honest Britain us this really well explained as well so it's quite easy to remember nine out and I was going to follow in that process and I can do a hundred percent see where I get lost in it as well I also can relate to your anger and fear I think and I think I'm very similar to you so even with the whole store in this podcast the anxiety when I'm in a situation where I'm struggling wrong vulnerable I don't have a freeze response or maybe I do but I never choose to use always have the flight response as well so just having not yeah pro says that you just expand on I'm definitely gonna use not myself and hopefully not feeling %HESITATION ashamed of myself when I lose my temper so thank you so much for sharing that and how long has this proces taking you to regain control of it because I I think I heard you say earlier that you do this every day is that right %HESITATION yes so I worked in the clear model every day I talk about happiness in my life every week day on my podcast so it's a daily ends but this process overall has taken me about five years to be able to get to a point where I'm like there it is like I got I got rear ended the other day and that's another situation where like I'm not expecting this to happen if I'm not emotionally managed in that moment things go south and I'd like to recommend I use a technique called decked declarations okay and I actually teach a course on it's available online on my site but I use declarations every single day to help me control the language that I'm using in my brain to then work that model so well it's taken me five years to fully grasp and understand and be able to change my patterns and my templates from instant anger and victim in entitlement thoughts to happy calm and dare I say grace right offering grace for other people as well as for myself right because that's part of that same thing that's part of that that feeling that guilt is you're like wow like I'm such a terrible person when you can try to give yourself grace through the language that you use understanding that now this is an opportunity for me to learn and to grow and I'm grateful for that and that can lead to grace for yourself which then also leads to grace for other people which also leads to being less angry at at situations that don't necessarily warrant it so I use declarations I'd be happy to share with you mine that you specifically when I got rear ended the other day yeah if you wouldn't mind please sure so my declaration is I am an intuitive mentor vibrant abundant and filled with light and when I can say that when I can change my language to who I want to be it can the gate to the anger of who I used to be who I once was so when in the situation of getting rid ended I got rear ended pulled over and I was like oh my gosh like usually my first my first phrase is really yeah I'm like is this really happening right now and the like nope that's that's not who I want to be yeah I am an intuitive mentor vibrant abundant filled with light I get out of the car and like Hey are you okay and the woman was was not she was okay but she was a little terse with me and seemed irritated that she rear ended me and my car was okay her car was okay like I'm okay she's okay and I'm like you know like that's fine like we we can just go our own ways and like she laughed and I that's a moment where in the past I would been mad that I got rear ended I would be really bad that it seemed like she had no remorse whatsoever but instead I'm like no I will I am an intuitive mentor vibrant abundance and full of light if I'm if that's who I want to be especially in that instance there the full of light that doesn't mean I have very much space for anger and I can use that to transform my language to transfer my emotions to transfer my actions and to give me different results that's incredible he should be very very proud of your transformation and even just in this very short segment nine is giving me massive food for thought and hopefully people listed of just how we should try and at least work on ourselves to give ourselves grace I think that was a really important thing that you touched on so %HESITATION fantastic so you're probably are suppose just actually going back to the instance the womb was probably expecting a reaction from you and I suppose I think you have that as well when it's almost a shock factor when you're expecting someone dropped a set way and then they they handle it in a supposing you Taylor's way we just Grayson just happy to see you almost think it is personal right yeah absolutely because it's here's the thing it's so against the norm like I'm I'm just gonna say this right now like emotional management is nothing that we are taught and it's so against the norm that when we do see someone who is in a space of managing their emotions and in a space of positivity because of that then it wears us out like this is this is a call it out right it weird you out but then you also are like there's something there's something different about them and here's the thing we're all unique but sends a motional management is so outside the norm when you can be a person who is in control of their emotions and this is not saying I am positive and happy one thousand percent the time yeah I'm I'm a human negative emotions happen but I know how to manage and work through them so they don't control my life but when someone has that people are drawn to that opportunities come up that you would never have before jobs relationships this to speak on podcast like you and I found each other on social media we don't know each other personally here we are having a great conversation that is I was an angry bitter person you probably wouldn't have even %HESITATION file right told listens to some of your videos and I purchase in the decorations previously on one of your posts as well I'm not that fascinates me when this people who I can learn from and I think if I could learn something from them hi I hope my audience kind as well so I hundred percent agree but it's not the norm is a I mean I feel like we're in a society of just robots and you get the odd person like yourself you just fans are a little bit from everybody else and and to me especially I find that fascinating and %HESITATION I'm hoping now obviously myself through my Jenny I can try and express ways to help other people but I hope people that listen to you and for you after this episode as well can take on some of the lessons that you shed which %HESITATION which which are really really useful so thank you so much for sharing that thank you I'm just on that then so you've actually got quite an orthodox lie so I remember going to school and you either going to be a doctor an accountant or school some kind of profession I suppose you come out of %HESITATION college or university from you are not here as an entrepreneur you've got your own business you briefly mentioned that you've got courses on your website as well so what's a day like for you so I do have a sideline job as well so my day looks like this so I am currently participating in what's called the seventy five hard challenge so I'm participating in that so I wake up in the morning I do my vision board work and my declarations I a then feed my dogs I make breakfast for myself and then I read for the active ten pages of reading it day taking notes highlighting etcetera then I go back to my office and I journal and meditate put on my shoes take my dogs for a forty five minute walk outside come back get ready well I take about if I take about a fifteen minute nap and then I get rid I get ready and then I come to my podcast ideo which is actually my mess of a closet but it's great for sound dampening ands I record my podcasts record video at the same time then I upload that and then I drive to work at my day job where I am a marketing director I lied three teams and do that throughout the day then I come home and depending on the day that can be a breakdown of working on my business I also do one on one mentoring so working with clients of one on one depending on the day that they scheduled and then time with my my husband my spouse and then it's usually too bad so that's that's the day looks like it's feels pretty full when I've listed all out like that I really really enjoy it and I'll I honestly I love my life which is something that I couldn't have said five years ago mmhm I'm glad that you do and if if I may then so the last five years of observing good T. come we touch on a time limit vesti for yourself and maybe the lessons that you gain from that absolutely so about four years ago so I was still really angry it was not a great time I we had a family emergency both fall my husband and I mmhm and it resulted in my husband having to to travel and I essentially living alone for about a year and a half and in that still was able to communicate with my husband everything's great but in that was really my first time ever being really truly alone and I woods and maybe this this may or may not resonate for for your listeners depending on where their apps but this was what my it's really interesting so we just went through my daily routine is now let me tell you what my daily routine is was then so I would get up late I would kind of get ready I would go to I would go to work I would be miserable at work I would come home I would grab some food sit down on the couch turn on TV scroll through social media at the same time while I was eating and I would do that for about six hours the are you still watching or you know the continuous play auto play and I would say I would be eating that entire time I'd be scrolling on Facebook or Instagram Pinterest name the social media site I'd be doing that and I would stay up later than I probably should of and so then I would go to bed late and the cycle would continue and I did that for about nine months I gains twenty pounds I was a mess and I there's this there's these deals that they do it occurred the grocery stores here where they have the the Betty Crocker and it's very specific Betty Crocker Betty Crocker whipped vanilla buttercream frosting and again %HESITATION %HESITATION and they do they do ten for ten and so I would go to the store and I would get the ten for ten deal and not that I recommend this but it's very delicious when you put them in the freezer it's like ice cream that's amazing anyways I would I would do the ten for ten I put them in my freezer and every ten days I need to go re stock like I was eating a can of frosting a day like the sugar and the over eating and he social media scrolling and %HESITATION watching TV I was offering so hard for my emotions of loneliness and isolation and anxiety and fear of like what was going to happen and and all these things in my first time ever really truly truly being alone and that was a really really hard time and about nine months nine months into that year and a half something something switched and it's really funny because I couldn't identify it before and then I was being interviewed another podcast and this story came up in a different capacity and I realize what the trigger had been for me is that I I have a dog and I make I make jokes that this dog in particular I have two soulmates one as my husband and one is this dog like I I love this I love him so much and he was there with me and I took him to the backs for his annual and that was like %HESITATION she is really overweight it turns out that well I was gaining twenty pounds she right yeah she gains twenty pounds and so it was like okay we got like I love this dog more than more than myself at this point and I we need to get some stuff together so we started doing agility and I was like I this was in October and around November I was like TV is a problem for me I am majorly addicted so I'm gonna do I correct crafted my own challenge of no Netflix November a lot that I highly recommend it it's really hard in November because that's when all the good shows go out but I did know Netflix November and it changed everything because I realize I was book ending my routines with I would come home turn on the TV eat for hours do social media for hours watch TV for hours and that was the trigger that kept me in the cycle when I stop watching TV holy smokes the free time I had and I realize I wasn't hungry for dinner I wasn't hungry for frosting I wasn't hungry well I was trying to buy for my emotions and I found I didn't scroll on social media as much either I started going out and doing things I started reading more I started doing all these things that TV took that time and was essentially keeping me down and just because I was relying on it to help me by for my emotions instead of being aware of them and sitting in them so well I had done the work for anger I had figured out the work for loneliness and for fear and for sadness and for missing my old life and prior to this incident and so after that nine months in that jump start of being like I need to I need to get it in gear not only for me but for this dog that I absolutely love things started to change and that's when that's when my life as you said the it was really like the four years but I wrap it up in a five year time for because the anger thing did happen before but when you say the five years have been have obviously been good to me no stuff that happens but I just decided not to let it control me yeah yeah this powerful I would say the thing that I've learned the most out of that experience is that well really it's the clear model right every situation is your role as the thoughts that we have that lead to the emotions that lead to the actions that give us the results absolutely I think I am at Mylan I'm not sure if you're aware of him is awfully says life doesn't happen to you happens for you and that's kind of like a summary of basically what you expend a yours is a lot more concise and something a bit more practical that we can all use but just in relation to the story I mean it's fantastic because I just wanna thank you for sharing that vulnerability there about about your life and how you the truth of what was actually like and even now you're still saying not everyday is perfect because it's difficult when people after the show will come and kick on your profile and though he you speaking on your Instagram live videos and looking at your post it's difficult to think is this the same person because the transformation just trying to picture what you would like to just sit in there on Netflix to wait person that you are not an Aston credible and that's kind of what they should show a gain it is about so %HESITATION you're in such a great place that it's gonna be difficult for people to connect the dots of the it's not really the same Taylor that was on the episodes it is exciting for me because I'm I literally thought there are some people out there who are consistently happy all the time but then I will I'm starting to think what's this story because I do believe that everyone has a story and there's always something that's happened in their life in order to kind of change that perception I suppose and I guess yours was just your dog at the start having something that you cared for more than yourself to kind of bring you out of that rut %HESITATION and hopefully now it's more about yourself and helping other people and you won't need to focus externally and more so just try to focus on yourself one hundred percent I attended a conference last week and they had everybody right like their their top three the top three things that they they spend their time on and that they that they love and they're like okay how many people said family now raise their hand how many people said said spouse raise their hand and they were like now how many of you said yourself yeah and there were three of us in the room out of the room of a hundred and this is a room of a hundred people who are self help absolutely a very technical term their self help me but what use that one yeah there was there was three of us and it was number one on my list like it was the first thing I wrote down of what do I care about who do I care about what do I love what is a priority in my life and I would really challenge us like if yes my dog was it a key indicator that on the loneliness part and the over eating in the emotional buffering but still it came down to myself on the anger in the originals thing and I think we've been styled societally coached if you will that looking out looking out for your self is selfish but the thing is is that your life like you are your own best friend you are in your head all the time your body is with you one hundred percent of the time so if you are not looking out for yourself and I mean that in the most positive way absolutely right if you're not aware of your emotions if you're not looking at your routines and going okay I go to work I come home I watch TV I eat I scroll I go to bed that is my life every single day do I want more you have to like do I want more and then taking the steps to do that and being okay with that back nagging feeling that this might be selfish and at that point you use your declarations who do I want to be well I want to be an intuitive mentor whose vibrant abundant and full of light I have to become that person nobody else is gonna become that person for me so I need to focus on myself and have that that quote unquote selfishness it is so powerful enough in the way that you just said it would there was it was so beautiful and white with you now I think we should go out to challenge ourselves to kind of love ourselves faced %HESITATION and and it's it's weird because a bit of a personal story about going to drive it too much but my mom suffered with them quite depression she still does for about eight years and as he was saying that she was a fence posts that come into my head because her whole life is predicated on serving the people it always has been and it probably always will be less of a second almost challenger to kind of voice office and as much as me or my siblings or family and friends kind of tell eight you need to start looking after yourself and start to fill up your cook fast it just never seems to be her priority and it's always let me do this for someone so let's let me do this for this person I don't know it just it just resonated so much with me the odd I genuinely believe that she prioritize their life as she had even more to give because she's a very selfish person anyway nothing especially if we're giving people we have a call I nature we feel that we should always give I kind of feel of the people's Cup so fast but you just hit the nail on the head there one of the key things of your need to try and do as we go through this journey of life and trying to figure out what we actually have four is is to work on ourselves phase so this really hit me I like I said Tyler this is this is an incredible episode for me on a selfish level because I feel like I'm getting mastermind coaching from an expat half to may be happy so thank you so much a gate it's you were entering lawful and actually I wanna and I don't mean this in a in a bragging sense but I do want to ask you because you said this so am I providing value to you in this discussion one hundred percent if I had not focused on myself no I would not be sitting here talking to you being able to provide that value to you now city absolutely so really I love that you brought that up about about your mother or it really can be about anybody it's way easier to focus on everyone else then the focus on ourselves but you are spot on we cannot give to others and last we are comfortable and loving and supporting ourselves first spread I'll only get on then to another question I always like to ask people what show current biggest fear not stagnation K. I and it's not a matter of always be moving right there's there's another type of emotional buffering which is busy and it's not like that it's it's stagnation in the sense of I believe we're we're gonna go deep here for second I I believe my personal purpose is to learn and to grow I believe that's my internal purpose my external purpose is to be able to share with other people and reminded them that they are capable of happiness about so I have two purposes one is my internal and that directly correlates to my external but I my internal is I believe I am here on this earth to learn and grow as much as I can so my biggest fear is stagnation because if I am stagnant and I'm not learning and growing I'm not living my purpose absolutely so bring it on send this one a gain the I resonate with but looking at this five years ago I mean you would've been in a completely different state even myself I mean I feel like I do a lot of self development I do a lot of waking up myself I tried but this is been something unique to myself because maybe it's because of the I'm getting that we touched on at the beginning and not gain a hope as people listen to this you probably got the same kind of situation is me because on the outside a might always seem like I have my composure about me but there's a lot of things that I do need to work on my %HESITATION myself is also yeah that's that's the grants and I'm I'm sure that this happened is about and movement that you're craving %HESITATION will continue to expand I'm just on the actually then if you if you wouldn't mind so we muzzle but in not just before we go to the fun part of the show if people want to do the work with you all to learn more about yourself and more about this happened is a binding how would they be able to connect with you sure so I have a website happiness abounds dot com and I should be very clear it's happiness abound singular not abounds %HESITATION so happiness abound dot com and that has links to all of my social but you can find me on Facebook at happiness abound blog and Instagram at happiness underscore abound I also I'm on YouTube IG TV so and then the podcast is on most major listening podcast platforms so if you to search happiness abound I usually come up and video or audio options and then on my site you can also check out my courses that are available online and yes I do do one on one mentoring and would love to work with someone who maybe is struggling with anger and wants to be happier absolutely absolutely I mean he doesn't want to be happy SO and we are not on that no actually gonna go into the phone part of the show so this is something that you have no idea what's going to happen I'm ready okay fantastic we're gonna start in three two one okay what did you eat for breakfast a shake your biggest gift my biggest gift for myself as my drive if you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine what would it be less naps I love nap the ability to fly %HESITATION be invisible fly would you rather have a re one button or many of fame money because you can make more of an impact with money and that could lead to fame absolutely your proudest moment cool we come back to that one yes show your favorite food oranges not fix the chief the colonel the answer the answer is neither okay they're they're both rabbit holes of addiction for me so I try to stay away okay your number one goal this year my number one goal this year is to have a month where I have ten thousand downloads of my podcast your favorite TV show ever I really like mash would you rather know how you would die when you were dying when your favorite hobby talking about happiness love among the love book so me these thanks if you could sit with one person in the world for an hour who would it be Oprah you wish there as a child being stolen your favorite place in the world redwood forests in California equal languages we'll be able to speak to animals speak to animals if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be self hate it's the root cause of everything and finally we're gonna go back to the question that you passed on your proudest moment that one okay my proudest moment I have I have lots this is not a choice of like %HESITATION what should I choose like or I don't have any it's like there's so many I because I do try to recognize these moments of my life I think my proudest moment to date is that I I had that I wanted to become a I a life coach in the back of my mind for really really really long time and part of that was I wanted to take a course reiki to become certified and they're expensive and so one of the proudest moments is kind of a a two for one I was attending a conference that I highly respect and I was like man I would love to do their coaching program and get certified and I just passed the paper along because I'd affordability and we had just paid off a huge amount of down our credit cards and my husband was with me and he's never at conferences with me like this was his first one and we go to lunch and he's like so how can you turn that how can you just pass the papers down as like all we can afford I can't afford we have a separate budget like personally that we have a family budget I like I can't afford it and he's like we can and we can do it in cash as we head off all of our debt and I was like what we can and he's like yes and we should then you should you need to I know this is something you really wanted and so we like rushed back from lunch I signed up so that was a really proud moment but then then the work comes in and and it was very intensive and I think my proudest moment as when I finished because it was a very it was it was a large group of people I think it was like seventy five in the main group and then we had the segmented off into smaller groups to do it was daily phone calls daily homework we had to create this entire binder thing I had to mentor ten individuals a minimum of three times and put them through a mentoring program to become certified in this three month period he was very intensive and of my small group where there were six of us talking every day only two of us actually finished and so I am really proud to you should be a certified transformational happiness mentor and so my proudest my proudest moment her proudest memory today is is getting that certification and having that dream had been in the back of my mind for years finally country western testing you should be proud and when you say that dream was in the back of your mind for ages how long are we talking I mean how's saving others so being able to influence people in a positive way it's been at the back of your mind situate child or was it something that we see as you were going through your own transformation you thought I would love for other people to feel this way actually it was neither I when I was a child I had a myriad of like I will be doing a lot of different things and it's really funny because today I do a lot of different things but I it wasn't after my journey either it was actually before okay and I was listening to a Tony Robbins CD and I don't remember what he asked I just remember I was by myself it was late at night I was listening to it and I think he has something like what do you want to do and I was like I wanna be it a coach I want to help people and I start falling and because it just felt so right and like I can actually do that which when we have dreams and things like I want to do that and at the time I was not emotionally managed I was a mess and it felt so far away but it felt so right that I just was overcome by like tears of joy and so a lot of those trials and things have helped me become who I am today so that I can help people put it in the back of my mind and I had I had started like a blog and stop and start and stop and start and stop because I felt like it had to be this perfect story yeah elle of of beginning middle and end and now I'm happy and that just contributed even more to my thought that I had to be inherently happy because I would listen to other podcasts and people would have a beginning middle and end and now they're happy and I'd like I can't even see an end in sight like I must be broke and I must be wrong something's not right with me and so any time I started to try and move in that direction of this goal I would stop myself because I wasn't perfect and the perfectionism really hit hard and so through the emotional management and all those things and then the grace that tends to come with that that really helped with my perfectionism and I actually started my podcast before I became certified and I feel like that had a lot to do with it because when I started my podcast I was like I was going to one a month and start slow and then the pressure that every hit recovering perfectionist here every hit had to be a home run there's only one a month yeah right and I'd be worn out and burned out on it because of all the emotional stress of it had to be perfect and I discovered that the thing that would work for me is if I could talk about it every day because then I could share my journey in real time and and show that I'm a real person struggling with this and you might be struggling with the two and here's what I'm going to try or here's what I was struggling with yesterday and here's what I what I tried and it works for me maybe it can work for you and getting over that perfectionist mentality in the podcast I really believe set me up to be able to become certified and help other people see that as well and I had to go through that journey before I could ever have just felt like yeah I can be a coach right so yeah it was in the back of my mind before all the work happens but I would not when you asked like rewind or pause I would not change anything in my life up today I would love to pause and be more in the moment and enjoy where I'm at now yeah yeah all this again so many things I can probably relate to on that so I used to with perfection is a bunch of ana until recently when I realized that she was perfection %HESITATION being a perfectionist that was the cause of all my procrastination I mean don't get anything done so %HESITATION even the one thing that I really enjoyed as a child was me because the system would sit there with an old cassette player which had a microphone attached to the side of it and we would record radio shows pretty much all day after school and I just enjoy speaking on a radio show and then somewhere from my teens to all the way through my twenties and saw you kind of can see my life and I really struggle in terms of getting out there and I became a real introvert and it's only in totally true this yet as we mentioned before we start this part as well so you know this part custom thing I'm just gonna try it and what what's the worst that could happen this doctor pepper it basically and %HESITATION I I've enjoyed it so much as it's been a JD I'm so people can listen to my first episode and realize that I am a lot more Davis then published today I mean I'm still nervous today but I think that vulnerability one that you're showing on your daily podcasts and why I hope people can see from my part because he's a whenever gonna be perfect and the whole process that's with a view you lie so I enjoy connecting with people I would never normally see walking down the road like yourself I mean this is a conversational enjoyed it so much is and I would never have had this opportunity if I hadn't of just bit the bullet and just come for it so I definitely age people whenever is in life that they want to do is just to kind of just try it because if you're anything like me I love a try and if I could see someone trying always I was trying to reform is I don't think that will retreat for you as well yeah that's just my little of inspiration off it to this podcast I completely agree I think I think that two things progress over perfection and then there is power and beauty in slow progress because part of the reason that we give up or like once we do start then we stop is because we feel like it's not happening fast enough but the power in the beauty that can come to you through that slower progress is everything I should just ask you to say because I'm their billing on and you said it so eloquently sub now %HESITATION yours was you were fantastic I was very I was very inspired also why I was being a little like I totally agree thank you okay but is so we're actually almost at the end of the show and I suddenly I and the just a few things I want to ask you before we close the show tell if that's okay and the next question is about reflection and always feel it's important that we speak about this because this is where the lessons I learned so I'm I'm a family even a hindsight teaches us a lot of things you can do just ways that we can get to places quicker easier with less heartache so what I want to know is knowing everything that you know if you could go back to a younger Taylor and whisper something into it yeah maybe do in a circumstance where she's may be feeling vulnerable %HESITATION just unsure of what she's going in life what would you say I would say you are capable of happiness abound because I I felt like I wasn't I felt like I was broken like I was wrong and I felt like I wasn't capable of happiness in my life and now I know that I am definitely a yeah and can I just ask the feeling that you said that you felt like you were broken was that your own feelings or was that an external influence as well %HESITATION hybrids okay right you you see other people that look like they have it all together and when you don't you feel like there's something wrong with you you see and constantly here like you should be happy or that happiness is the ultimate goal so when you're not and you're not viewing your life that you're human you're gonna have negative emotions in you just do it that your broken instead you don't feel like you're you don't feel like you're capable and I think that's a big a big thing and I teach this to the people I I mentor and I call a my clients because until you can feel like you are like you have to do some of the work to feel like you're capable and when you feel like you're capable you gain confidence and when you gain confidence you feel qualified and when you feel qualified you can conquer the world city I left a message thank you and that she's going to bring this to the last question nine which is something I gain I ask all of my guests which is if in a hundred and fifty years science has to save us someone no longer here and all that exists is a book and this book is about you Taylor and it's got all the way in a wonderful things that you've done in life and basically your whole story what would the bled the summary at the back of it how the pace and looking to pick that up and what with the title of the book she discovered she was capable of happiness abounds and reminded others they were capable of it too is the blurb and the title would probably be happiness about nice is simple I love it this powerful thank you so much for sharing that and we have already done the the social media plugs for yourself but I would definitely as people to father tied up on his social media platform a gain all I will definitely be doing that a bit more myself we just realized actually before this podcast that you have a podcast Televisa anywhere else that people can contact you or is Instagram probably the best place and your website I yeah Instagram in my website are probably the best website is the easiest because it has links to everywhere else so you can find me on multiple spaces ends yeah be sure to reach out I would love to hear from you thank you Taylor and for everyone else at home thanks for listening thank you that was really fun and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"Think Carefully" by Pete Sanga #28Tagline: "How cancer and thoughts can change your world for the better"It is almost like we wait for something bad to happen to wake us up. For us to really take life serious and realise each day we lose, we will never gain again. Each second we spend not being grateful, happy or fulfilled is a second wasted. Yet when something bad happens, we can sometimes have a realisation that life is important, precious and beautiful.Pete Sanga shares his story of how cancer and controlling his thoughts has massively changed his life and future. He speaks of tangible tips we can all use and incorporate to live a life of happiness, gratitude and fulfilment without having to go through cancer like he did.A truly remarkable individual who gave off a beautiful energy and had an infectious aura about him. Someone much wiser than me with experience I was grateful to have received.Some key discussion points:Cancer being a giftThe importance of your thoughts.How to change your thoughts.Practical positive daily routines.Understanding that we control more of our life than we think.Age is nothing but a number.I urge you to listen to this all the way through and implement some practical steps and tips that you can do for FREE in 10 minutes or less a day to really help you move forward in your life. These tips and tricks aren't just for cancer survivors, or people who have overcome adversity. They can and should be important practices we all take on in our life to truly make the most of this short amount of time we have on this earth.Let's all start to find our voice today and write our own stories.Let's leave our mark on this earth before it's too late.Remember tomorrow never comes.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Pete Sanga:Amazon business Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sanga-Aromatherapy-oils-2383077878401459/Amazon businesss link: https://amzn.to/2xkLdXEFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/pete.sanga YouTube transcript[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren Deu a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren Deu what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of fine your voice myname is Aaron and as always I am thehost of the show so sitting herethinking before I released this podcastwhy is it that we always need somethingbad to happen in our lives for us toappreciate the good things or even thesmaller things the more beautiful thingsthat we often take for granted and maybethis is just a human trait but it'ssomething that I'm trying to get throughin this movement I find your voice isthat I want you guys to start livingright now and I want you to findsomething that fulfills you I want youto be happy I want to live in gratitudeyou see I put these stories out here foryou guys to listen to not to make youfeel miserable or to feel sad or startto cry I put these stories out there toshow you how lucky you are you see weare all very blessed and we're all verylucky if we choose to see it that wayyou see living in a moment of gratitudeis fantastic but living a day a week amonth a year in fact your whole life ingratitude that's just so much better andwhat I want you guys to do is to startto take on these tips that we'vementioned in this episode coming forwardbut then go back and listen to thepeople on this show who have sharedtheir story so bravely and so openly andhonestly and think about how your lifeis maybe better than their life in termsof you haven't had to suffer with canceryou haven't had to suffer with blindnessyou haven't had to be homeless forexample and then really start to look inyour own life and start to live withgratitude because that is the key yousee we're all chasing happinesshappiness is a numberone goal and it should be the number onegoal for all of us and through that wechase fulfilment as well and if you canget those two in line then you're gonnahave a fantastic life but what I don'twant you to do is to wait untilsomething bad happens I don't want youto have to experience cancer like ourguest today shares his experience and itwas actually cancer that actually gavehim his life back in almost now youcould see it he's loving his life and heopenly admits it as wellin this episode that it was cancer thatreally made him start to live again butI don't want none of us listening tothis show to have to go through cancerin order to start living because we cando it right now we can all go out thereand find our voice and really try andstart to write our own story sohopefully you guys enjoyed this episodeit was fantastic for me because it didexceed my expectations and if you do geta chance please do hit us up on socialmedia as well we are quite active anddon't forget if you get a chance as wellplease do share it with somebody else aswellto maybe inspire and motivate them to goout there and find their voice sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way I'd like to startthis show by welcoming Pete to the showand I want to thank Pete for taking timeout of his day today to come and sharehis story so Pete thank you for comingon to the show you know I'll come takeyou things like him and you're verywelcome and really appreciate it I thinkit's going to be useful for theiraudience to get to know a bit aboutyourselfso if you wouldn't mind if you can kindof give us like a summary take as longas you need in relation to the life ofPete for example tell us some of yourups tell us some of your dance and thenbasically what brings you here todayperfect no problem and hi audienceI'm glad you listen it is and well whyyou sort of story is I'm not amulti-millionaire or anything like thatfar from it but I live a verycomfortable life and it hasn't alwaysbeen like thatI mean I'm 53 years old so you canimagine when my upbringing from myparents how that was in a very strictupbringing we was always sort ofmonitored by our pens back in game dayswith the early days of very few Asiancommunity in the UK and they had to sortof build their reputation so we resortedvery close communitywe have been declawed close communityparents always took hold of what you hadto do days basically sort of had yourlife for yourselves in mahjong days andI was kind of rebellious with my dadbecause always always one that wanted todo my own thing the way I want to butcourse you have to have respect for yourparents and sort of listen to them aswellso I as I said Oh print being invadeit's a tight community Asian communityand as a site to sort of get older andgoing to school into sort of sixteenseventeen this is where I sort ofstarted to understand that you know Idon't want to follow the footsteps of myparents and Adorno follow the footstepsof my brothers and sisters and GauravUniversity or anything like that Ididn't want to be stuck behind a deskwhen that's what my parents wanted to beI was more inclined to sort of lookingto I used to see it market and I thinkwow I want to do that I don't want to dothat and you know that's how my thoughtswere and so as I got to about 16 17 Istarted kind of rebelled against what myparents wanted and but again same thingyou know you have to have some elementof respect for your pen so I stillfollowed them and I'll put till the agessort of 21 ish when I got married andand we then brought her family businessand and again we started working in thefamily business but it's not somethingthat I wanted it wasn't for me so eventhough I worked in there and putting thehours as long with my with my brothersand it's not something that I wanted todo and what really changed my mindor changed me was when I became ill whenit was about round about 25 and at thattime I had two children and one of themhere and well two boys and I had contactand sort of that's where that's whatreally changed my perspective about lifeand because when you fall into I mean ohno people about cancer and they've curedand they've come every but the initialshock of that was like wow you know Imean I remember sitting on the stagewith my wife and I'm telling my wife andI'm sitting there crying my eyes outthinking and your whole life goes byhere and especially when things likethat I mean nowadays you know they somany curious for so many diseases butwhen you're looking when you're goingback 20 odd years there was there wasn'tas many curious so you know you havethis flashback of your life and youthink wow I'm not gonna be here what'smy kids gonna do and all these thoughtsstart to run through your head and youknow and I remember sitting under stairsand said crying I like that and what dadcame in and he looked at this and hewent there what's the matter what youcrying for and at all my dad okay my hogand even though and he was sort ofstrong I could see sense that he it wasone of them things like wow you knowthis is happening to my son and sayingyou ever went through a treatment andchemotherapy and he was in and out ofhospital I lost a lot of weight and Iyou know sort of kind of lost confidenceas well because I was what I would saywas a greatly confident person but I wasquite confident in myself and I've lostall my confidence as well and my sistershe gave me a book which was there yourguardian angels and as a while I was inhospital I started to read this guide inangels thinking what's this about youknow guardian angels and you justtotally changed my life in the sense ofwe've just read good just reading thebook I thought wow this is there suchthing as this guardian angel is theresuch thing as a spiritual world andthat's why where my spirituality cameout and from there you should have sortof started to progress and as I cameonce I was out of hospital and had donemy chemotherapy and fetal healthy I knewthat I had to do my own thing my own wayand I wanted to be and how I canprogress it wasn't always easy becauseyou always you have this and how prettyyou have this education or you have thisyour your upbringing embedded into youyou see so then they're deep into yoursubconscious mind so they alwaysflop back out and you start to thinkwell should I should I or shouldn't Ibut I know I wanted to move away fromthe family and do my own thing and whichis sort of what I started to do gonnajust pause for a bit or we can jump inthere so there are a couple of things inrelation to that so you always knew froma very young age you mentioned like from1617 you were you're probably differentto your siblings yeah you want to dosomething different and I kind of Icould resonate with that myself so I wasforced in inverted commas to kind of gothrough the academic route because I wasvery I could pick up things very quicklyyeah I didn't want to do any of thatit was never my interest I always wantto kind of go against the grain I wantto be a boxer I wanted to do you cry Iwant to do all the stuff I said ontelevision but he has different stuffand there was an element that I supposesomewhere along the line I kind ofresented the decisions and I was havingto like make my parents happy rathermake myself happy fortunately for me Ididn't have to experience kind sir inorder to really be like okay now I needto just do what's done for me and itkind of seems like cancer was your kindof wake-up call a mass of thingdo you know what I have to look aftermyself yeah and put myself first and itwas it's quite emotional for me justthinking about that moment when you'resitting on the stairs and you and you'retelling your family is stuff I justthought this is just giving you a bookabout the guardian angel and stuff Ithink that's come probably a good timebecause I absolutely did you agree thatif that come it should give you thatbook yeah we'll probably thought once itchanges your perception of do you knowchange started to change the way I'llthink and I need all honesty when Istart to read the book and I started tosort of understand each chapter one at atime I thought wow you know this isamazing can this really be possiblecould you elaborate on something fromthat or something that you maybe do nowyeah of course yeah and so what I'velearnt from that book was of course itstarted to open other doors and otheravenues in Lord of Attraction as aspeople know it I don't know there's alot of it back now whereas when we wasyounger it was it wasn't it wasn't aboutwhat he's still about but we wasn'taware of him but he's a lot more aboutof it often now so and then you know Idon't know thousands if not millions ofpeople's heard of the secret and so thenthatbook came into my hands and it was itjust happened to be that I went onto acourse and which is an angel course andhis spiritual core so as I went thereand this is the lady that was conductingit her name was Angela so and she toldus about this secret and the secretwebsite so I wrote it downsuza go home was sort of jumped on thewebsite got the thing he got the DVDbecause there's gotta be somethingindecent what's what's so good aboutthis or anyway are played it and thenwhat made my two boys what it sat therewatching me and I was totally sort ofenclosed in this secret because thatwhat they were saying is your thoughtsbecome your reality this was for me itwas like a turning point because Ithought wow if that was the case and wowI can create anything the one was withthe kids they were still young therewasn't sort of so much interested in itand so that's where he progressed fromso now you know I have a special routinein the morning and a follow every dayand it's all due to this I guess I cancall it positive thing times Olivia andit's all due to these positive thinkingand you know when you start to think ina certain way certain doors will startto open for youbut you have to trust in your way ofthinking and you have to trust inyourself even though all throughout lifeand even in today's day and age and howfast forward we have become even todayyou still have their thoughts you stillhave to battle with your own mindbelieve it or not and with your negativethought you know you're constantlyfighting against them and like I said toyou know before we started you know youhave a thought you sort of you sort ofhave a negative thought if you like andbefore you know it your negativethoughts your your conscious mindstarting tell you something and beforeyou know you're not that's spiraled intoyour hair before blonde conversationswith yourself you know you're sitting inyour car and you're home or whatever andyou're talking to yourself and you'rehaving this complex it's conversationwith yourself and you're sort offighting with yourself you know onevoice against another and I don't knowif that makes sense you know you sort offighting with yourself and you reallyhave to start to understand your thoughtand that's one of the thingslearn to do is understand my thoughtsand when I'm having a thought like thatI instantly think to myself okay this isthis is the right thought no it's notand I'll stop put a stop to the Thorntonright away because you are in control ofyour own thinking nobody else controlsit for you so you know what you arethinking so if you start to realize thatyou was thinking something that's hasn'teven happened you can stop that thoughtright away when you stop it do youreplace it with something or replace ityeah you have to replace it withsomething positive say for example ifyou're having an emotional thought let'sjust say something bad happened you knowyou you're on your way you've got aparking ticket or you or something likethat you don that's a negative thing andthe first thing you do when you get aparking tickets in your effing andblinding station and and you know andyou know then that you know be from thatanger anything of blinding thinking thatyou know it starts to escalate so if youright away realize all and this is thisis not right it you know what's whatcould be good about there having aparking ticket and then think ofsomething that these positive factorsare negative so when you start to thinkof something positive I'm an 18 it couldwell be this you might have had aparking ticket you might have grabbed aparking ticket God to speak todayconductor or whatever I'm bumped intosomebody who you spontaneously you knowbumped into somebody who is we put yourright you know you and you might haveyou know anything could have happenedwith those gratitude in having a carabsolutely yeah yeah anything you knowanything but as long as you sort ofrealize that you're having this negativethought and without letting this spunout of control with hundreds of otherthoughts stop it right away stop it andchange you to find a positive in thatnegative like I said it could be thatyou've got you could be grateful to youyou've got him you come to meet make ameeting absolutely if that you know hewas worried about your parking ticketthen you might not have gone on to thatmeeting and gain somethingokay knowledge or whatever it is youknow so if there's always a positive ina negative and that's what you have tosort of learn to do it's not the easiestthing in the world who is there but withpractice it becomes perfect that'sinteresting because this is justmeanness or cancers effectivemy family is taking members of my familyaways it's affecting my family some ofthem now so a very negative connotationtowards cancer I sometimes put myself ina position and think if I was to everget cancer or something but a particularpoint I just can't help but think that Iwill feel sorry for myself at some stagehave you ever felt that yeah you do as Isaid that you know it's it's it's notyour normal yeah absolute normal youknow you can't control your thoughts toa degree well you can you can't becausewhen something as severe as cancer orother illness hit you you can't see anyway out so of course it's not so foranybody to think you know how would Ifeelbut as I said earlier on you know you weare you are in control of your thoughtsas long as you don't put emotion intosomething it can never happen it's onlyemotion that creates your reality whenyou paint a picture of what you want andhow you want your life to be yourconscious and your subconscious minddoesn't know the difference betweenright and wrongit just doesn't know the difference itonly responds to what your want pictureyou're painting it so when you're youngas I said you know your pet your parentshave painted how your picture is goingto be so your subconscious mind thenwhen your conscious mind then has tobuild your life around your parentspicture or the picture that you'vecreated or they're created not just yourparent it's society its schooleverything and anything after the sortof ages 10 when you develop fullydevelop your conscious mind after theage of 10 anything after that is whatyour picture has been built on based onyour school your parenting or andsociety itself you know you have to sortof try to understand your thoughts youthink there's a lot and as long as youcan control or though what you'rethinking you can always change it thehardest part of changing something isthat you have to change all your softconscious if people understand what thatmeans if they don't then I went tohighly recommendlooking into that because it's a veryvery powerful part of us it's a part ofour mind and can create reality for youso if you don't understand whatsubconscious is then I so stronglysuggest that you go out and listen to oreven you know we books on that if youdon't like reading like me listen toaudiobooks I love listening yeahmotivation you see and you can learn alot from it so that's what you reallyhave to do you have to sort of thinkabout what you're thinking about thinkabout what you're thinking about all thetime and then stop when you start itwhen you start having it sort of anegative thoughts stop that and thenthink of a positive what could be thepositive thing what is it that you wantin life to change the picture that yourparents have built or society is builtfor you changing that jigsaw yourconscious mind doesn't want to change ajigsaw because you imagine you've made agreat massive jigsaw puzzle here andyou're trying to take the middle of thatjigsaw puzzle add and change it and howhard would it be to change that jigsawpuzzle so that's why your conscious mindis constantly fighting with you to stopyou doing that any fight with you bysending yeah but what if this happensthis is gonna happen this is gonnahappen and reality is just all you'redoing it fighting with you know elseisn't it yeah yeah so that's how yousort of change you know reality that'sbrilliant that's that's powerfulthat's something actually that's foranyone that is this and there's a bookcalled the chip paradox and he actuallyexplains it so it's quadratures paradoxof what he says is you have the chimpwhich is your like your subconsciousthrough then you have a computer whichis kind of the logical side of you butwhat he says is the chimp is morepowerful yeah and it's unless we controlthis chimp whether it's through changingour thought processes and the thingsthat we were taught to believeabsolutely absolutely then the chainsgoing to take over runs on it and that'sexactly what happens we do 95 90 95percent of our societyand yeah yeah you like absolutely yourchip will always try to control what itwants you to do but deep down if youstart to understand it anything ispossible but even having said that it'snot just his thoughts it's it's agratitude you have to put into thingyou know I mean I once all grateful forI mean I can explain sort of you knowwhat my routine isn't when I get a bunchof virtually the next thing so yeah yeahthe routine yeah so for myself what I dowhen I get up in the morning my generalroutine I mean on the early riser somore put three o'clock in the morningand one of the things I've learned andI'll never ever do is put the snoozebutton on now that I ever put snoozebutton or people do that but that's nota really a positive thing to do you knowyou as soon as oh yeah my alarm goes offI'm out of bed my feet hit the floor andthe first thing I do is I put my headtogether and then I go thank you so muchfor another day ahead of me and he'sfeeling that gratitude of another daywhether that day is gonna be the same asyesterday or not matters not it'sanother day I listen to a lot ofaffirmations in the morning as well sowhen you get up in the morning what Ilearned is that your subconscious mindyour conscious mind hasn't quite kickedin so you're still in your subconsciousand state so when you start to feed yoursubconscious state with positiveaffirmations your day will flowperfectly so first thing I'll do is ofgovernment phone I'll put my headphoneson I'll get dressed and I start to playaffirmations positive affirmations oreven relaxing music just to calm I'mlike that and so while I'm goingtesticle have a yeah you know I meanI'll have a shower in the night in caseyou think I think I've had a shower inthe night and so while I'm brushing myteeth I'll still got this headset on soI'll put 20 minutes or so I've got thisheadset on listening to affirmations andwhile I'm having breakfast on listen toaffirmations and I Drive to worklistening to an audiobook and um howyour mind works there's some great booksout there no doubt you've heard of manyof them I love listening to if you don'tmind the answer yeah actually you knowsomeone a box I mean I love listening toThink and Grow Rich by Napoleon HaydenI'm sure millions of poverty read a bookand the other book I think is fantasticand people should really haven'tis the science of getting rich by whatis what'll again it's it's it's heexplained it's a science of game richand it's a great book to if you I meanyou can buy it but if you don't want tobuy it you can get on YouTube and inlisten to it so for forty minutes fromall the way to work on listening to D soI'm always trying to feed my mind withpositive affirmations positive vibes allthe way to work and obviously onceyou've done your work come back home onmy way back home I'm genuinely back onfor about seven in the morning so I'mone ear out at the house for a few hoursand when I'm back home I take the dogfor a walkanother relaxing way to do that and thenI get when I'm when I'm home obviously aboo gone to work by then and then I domy meditation and we solved for the nexthour and so I sit there and I focus whatI want out of life and how I want mylife to be and so I do a meditation thenlisten to some great meditation musicagain you can get on YouTube if youdon't I use one called calm on iTunes itis one that you have to pay for whatyeah it's absolutely fantastic I sawmany on there it's great but as I saidthere's lots of free ones you know youjust have to find one that resonateswith you so once of a sort of listenedand once I've done my own meditation Igenerally fall asleep for an hour songtwo hours and so it's in a sort of fallasleep for about a couple of hours andthen back up to ten o'clock I've startedto do exercises now when I hadn't beforeeven though when I was younger I spent alot of time exercising but when I gothere I sort of lost confidence inxdesign so i starting to sort of carryback into exercising nothing bank am buti have so for ten o'clock consider do 20minutes of sort of general exercise andand and ice get on go about Monday I'llstart work about two o'clock again tohave two and once again I'll start Ionly listen or try to listen toaudiobooks you know any kind of audioBob Proctor is another fantastic I meanhe's amazing you know I know he's on thesecret but he's so he's been doing thisfor 50 years and he's somebody knowswhat they're talking abouthe is a man that knows what he's talkingabout and so I listen to a lot and a lotof his and audio books I listen to a lotof time Roberts and again and does agreat motivator so I'm always listeningto these books and that awesomewhilst I'm at work I generally come homearound 1:00 to finished up getting homefor seven have a meal I try to relax bywatching not so much TV programs butmore very old-fashioned God programs ifyou like and and the reason of watchthem is because it's it's it explains toyou that what we have now has alwaysbeen there but we just we just didn'trealize it so it's in resonates back toyou how you can move forward with whatwe have well I've always had and thegenerally don't got a bed and again onceagain I've always got to sleep at nightand before I go to sleep I just bethankful for my whole day you know Ithink about all the the thing I've donetoday even though my day routine isgenerally the same and I might have metsomebody new there so I always sort ofgratitude to everything I have even mymeals or sit down and I'm you know youwhen I say gratitude because he'sgratitude is part of development so ifyou're not grateful for something thenhow can you be grateful for what youwant to something so you really have tobe grateful for and I know there's lotsof people there's a wall I can't begrateful until I get this box if that'sthe way you're thinking as we spokeearlier on you're only gonna get more ofwhat you're putting out so if you'rethinking I'm not grateful for somethingyour only your your subconscious mindonly sees that you're not grateful forsomething and you know you're feelingsad about something so he thinks ah okayoh yeah it's not about this I'll giveyou more of that so that's how yourcontent works and fall asleep againlistening to youmusic until the next day I don't knowfalling asleep so in the middle of thenight when this thing he's office stillgot my head said oh we should take offpretty so and then you know so that's mydaily routine every day yes it's almostlike the curse of cancer that came intoyour life has always made your lifebetter totally think shame because itthat's it for me it took for me to getill to get where I am I mean you know Ihad a business which and was almost gonealmost bankrupt me because I reallystruggled but had it not been for whatI'd learned over the years I think thatI would have really got into itdepression but because of what I learnedover the years when I did have mybusiness and that didn't work as well asI expected it to and it's just one ofthem things and yes I worried a lotabout it and opera and Laura's worryingin the family put up trying to keep itaway from them as well because I didn'twant them to feel under pressure to helpand there was absolutely fantastic youknow hats off to my family then theystepped in and they sort of we workedtogether and you know and it's anotherthing that I think I should point out isthat when you have when you when you'reworried about something and even worriedabout not telling your parents ortelling your family it's a wrong thingto do because if your family is alwaysthere to understand and support you andjust it's surprising how much taken justjust by taking or talking to somebodyhow much of a burden you can take offyour shoulders and that's what I did yousee but just boy even though they didn'tsort of okay here we'll do this withthis but just talking to them took awayso much of my worries and but as I saidif it wasn't for what I've learned overthe previous year is about beingpositive I wouldn't have come out ofthat business feeling better for myselfand you know going on six or seven yearsnow more than that now here 10 years orso moving forward 10 years you know I'vecreated another great business you knowII'm really happy within them andprogress it's always because you have toprove you have to think of yourself andyour family and move forward with themabsolutely so a couple of good pointsday is born obviously it's easier saidthan done but we shouldn't have to waitfor a cancer or death or something youknow like these are simple things thatevery single one of us on a daily basisand so I ask this question can start todo it's not gonna take us long to justsit there for best part of two threeminutes and just think of all the thingswe're grateful for every single morningand it slowly become easier thenobviously throughout the day we'llnotice more and more things yeah andthen listening to positive stuff sohopefully people listening to this canjust take on this now yeah rather thanhave to wait for something bad in partand then just live in this on what it'salmost like a bliss because you justappreciate every single momentabsolutely right sometimes we will gothrough life and six months tormentsurpassed and you've never really livedin the moment because you've won binanxious about the past and to you I sawyou anxious about the future untilyou've been depressed about the past soit's a dangerous place to be absolutelyit's almost like living in today youalso said talking to people so this issomething that I actually mentioned on aprevious podcast so I struggled withanxiety struggled a lot with overwhelmand similar to yourself I'm trying ityou look after my family I'm trying tocomfort my wife and my siblings and Idon't want to put the burden on them mymom suffered in depression so she'sloved a best friend by the same time Idon't want to have any stress there aswell but then sometimes if it's too muchand I do speak to her yeah she doesn'tsolve the problem but I felt so muchbetter which she feels better that Icould buy dinner yeah same with myfriends or my wife whoever I speak to ittalking is so powerful it's a massivemassive thing but as humans what I meanconnection speaking is it's part of usand because the song takes a turn thatfollows 24 so absolutely we will lose aconnectionabsolutely I think you know that's againlike you said you know is you when youtalk into somebody somebody when youhold it in yourself you're creatingnothing but bad feelings for yourselfbut when you're let that energy outyou've it's almost as if you've left letout and a massive ball of negativeenergy you know that's how you gotacidity is a and you know and it's hardsometimes understand you know certain 16certain things in such a situation yousometimes find it hard totalk to somebody but the best wayforward and I've always found is thatyou know if you can't talk to yourfamily then talk to somebody who'sconfused you're close with you know justtake that off your chest and it makesyou feel so much better and your mindwill always fight you against it becausethey want you to hold and I know itsounds bad do you thinking to yourselfwell why wouldn't my mind want to dothat for me and it's always one see italways sort of and give you a picture ofoh yeah but if you if you told decentI'm gonna do this ad singly and you knowyou but you're creating something hasn'teven happened creating scenario you knowwe're going back again you know creatinga picture of what you want if you wantif you want to if you finally difficultto talk to somebody then imagine it inyour head and I know those who have readand Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hillof one of the things he used to do washe used to have a board meeting and withsome of the richest people in the worldin his head not physically with in yourhead and I mean he could if you canimagine something like that so and it'seasy to imagine thing you know you couldyou can imagine something like like justlike that if I said to you now think ofa pink elephant instantly you'll bethinking of a pink elephant if you'resaying stick your face in the kitchenyou'll be thinking of that so you cancreate emotion to that yeah absolutelyabsolutely without emotion there's lotsof elements that you have to puttogether for the law of attraction towork emotion is one of them gratitude isanother one the positive thinking isanother one and individually you knowimage in your head and what you wantyour life to be is another one when youstart to combine these things togetherthat's when your life starts to changeof people using this Lord of Attractionhas changed in life totally change yourlife around within 12 months just by Imean it takes 30 days to create thething is with life itself which we'vecreated habits and hobbies can bechanged it takes time to change habitsbut habits can be changedI love that and the final point I justwant to add to that is you mentioned abusiness that you've just started thatyou're very happy with we have anotherbusiness because we've got the productson there it's probably packed in one ofthese boxes now because we're movinghouse not okayjoining just share that briefly justwith the ordinance a lot when I firstheard about it I was like that's quitean innovative is quite interesting okaystraight away can you just starting fromscratch sure yeah yeah and others heredo I do my full time I guess it's a jobbut it's not job because he's stillself-employed and do my parcel businessbut always wanted to be sort of anonline trader so what I started to dowas I looked at ways I can make moneyonline Amazon was a biggest platform soI was learned how to sort of startedlooking more into how Amazon works andso I learned how to through theirlearning program and he can learn Lee toAmazon sort of learned how to sellproducts on Amazon and that's what I'mmoving forward with and I've got aproduct on there now which and which isaromatherapy oils but he's one of themthings that sort of well it's a bit of arisk to take but again if you wantsomething to happen you have to have apositive outcome of it and so I startedto understand and learn a lot aboutAmazon and how they were what what to doand learnt the coursethey've had to promote the product howwhere to find a product had to getproduct once I understood all that I'mstill learning from it's not somethingthat yeah fully understood I'm stilllearning from them I started as I said Iimported my first product and it's beengreat you know really has my wife usesit I think that's actually okay yeah itis a great product done yeah just onthat as well so soft and you hear peoplethinking they can't do nothing we haveall these limiting beliefs and they seewhat we can do in life and yeah you justthought okay I wanted to start abusiness and you probably wouldn't youprobably just figured it out along theway yeah you are not selling a productunless that's a lesson to anyone like ifthis is something you want with theright mindset and then obviously theaction nothing impossible without actionyou know you it's no good having theoldest mindset yeah positive thinkingwhen you take no action you you know youhave to take action if it's somethingthere's somelooking to do you know sell online itdoesn't have to be Amazon there's lotsof other platforms on thereI chose Amazon because I was on is deepBiggie's platform to sell and I choseAmazon because I found it you can I canI don't have to store the product at allI'll send it to their warehouseeverything they deal with a moment yeahabsolutely and their fulfillment centerthat deal with the customers they dealwith the returns of course anything thatis returned luckily for me I finally hadone product returned in all the onesthat have sold and then they theycontact you so you have nothing you knowthat this is the biggest fear withpeople they think well how can I startoh I'm Christie what about customerseries what about this but this withAmazon they deal with all that with youyeah of course they target fee which isunderstandable but you have to find aproduct then you can now incorporate allthat and you can make and still make aprofit out of it you know you you knowyou could there's lots of people onAmazon that making great massive massivemonthly incomes and it's it is possibleand you just have to trust in yourselfto do it and that's the hardest thingtrusting yourselfif it's something that you know it's forthe listeners if something that you'repassionate about then use that productuse that as a product absolutely I wantyou to put that in there because I'veseen you use the product as well yeah soit's not like a shameless plug or anyyeah yeah it's inspiring because if Iask someone say for instance my dad ormy own course or something do that thefirst thing that says all are configuredI don't know about the internet and wehave a lot of people in the audience wejust automatically have exclusivestraightaway absolute is always it'sjust refreshing to hear somebody justsay you know what what it actually showsthat everything you're putting inpractice in your daily routines like theaffirmation is opposed to thinking yeahyou put it into practice any practice oryou foods I think that's the thing withall the community because I mean I'm 53and if I can make changes at 53 peopleat that age if not youngerI mean exactly majority to preparepeople you know once they get past fortyforty five to think that's it I thinkthe life is overyou can't progress you can't learn youthe game started yeah it's just startingand I just gain started don't letthings top of you because when you'reyoung you have a whole you could you gotyour whole life in front of you whenyou're 40 your passport you're gettingclose to 50 you think that you've onlygot a few years but just in a few yearsif you with the right mindset it justwithin a few years you can change thewhole life around if that's what youwant being all free absolutely peopleare living longer now resolve of courseyeah yeah definitely Brit okay thank youfor that so we spoke about diversityquite a bit and we spoke obviously thebusiness stuff we spoke about thepersonal health problems as well if youcould just choose one of your biggestlessons that you've learned from thatexperience so I'm going that you had themindset of something but if you can justsay to somebody maybe who's experiencedin it now or going through term orwhether it's cancer or any other illnessif you can just give them one lessonthat you've taken from that situation Iwould say that you know just as hardwhen giving that situation but just tryto see things as I say just try and lookat the light at the end of the tunnelyou know just try to focus on yougetting better you moving forward youwanting the thing that you want insteadof focusing on something and Iunderstand that it's hard because I'vebeen there and but just try to listenand the best way did it one of the otherthings I absolutely love doing is I lovelistening to music that I love becausehe just makes you feel so much betterso if you are going through a tough timelisten to your favorite song don't losesight of you joy yeah something that youenjoy listening to listen to a rock soyou know not so much a rock song in thesense of rock song I mean something thathas a fantastic you know I always findthat that helps me to feel better so andyeah you know just just try to staypositive really you know it's a toughsituation to be more you just have tolearn to stay positiveyeah that's brilliant thank you for thatI'm in this particular moment right thissecond what is your biggest fear andfear is another to say this now becausefear is just a thought it's just thoughtthat can be told controlled when youhave a fear you can always change yourfeeling too and onso I try to avoid having a fear becauseI'm not saying don't not worried aboutanything I'm always worried about thefuture and have I done enough too butwhen I pass how I done enough on thisearth for those were living here now forwhen I pass that means my biggestconcern blooded and I fear because Ithink when you use the word fear I don'tknow a lot of people do but I from whatI've learned one of the things Iunderstand these learn to understandthese fear it's just a word it's a wordthat's used by everybodyso when somebody uses the word fear youinstantly think the worst of somethingso no no that's not what you wanted tohear but I think that they when you usethe word fear you sort of think of theworst but to me don't think of the wayfear and it's hard not to but don'tthink of me think of something think ofit as a unless fear forward if you likebut yeah well my biggest concern is howabout done enough on earth and for thosecoming okay that's one of my biggestinterested and has that purpose of yoursthat why without motivation to leave theworld given as much as usually has thatonly stemmed since again that I don'twant to keep touching on it but theyHansard incident absolutely yeah yeahyeah and that's interesting because alot of people I find that go throughadversity in life or have been throughhardship they almost become selfless andthey just want it almost in that momentwhen they're so great for this stuffthey want to give back more yeah yeah Ithink before that we kind of do live aselfish life yeah absolutely because I Iwas kind of selfish I only reallythought about myself I didn't eventhough I've respected what my pen said Iwould kind of well my life I could dowhat I like or no and even you knowgoing back down I remember my fathersitting me down once and he went and hesaid you know you're going down thewrong path because I started gettinginvolved with the wrong people he saidyou're gonna shame us and he was likethat backing when I was growing up hesaid you're gonna put shame on us andyou're gonna end up in prison because hethought I was gonna end up in prison andbut I you know I was not but I wanted todo what I want to docare about that I just want to do what Iwant to do for what I dye my hair with adime appears like yeah you can't stop meeven though respecting him when I didn'tdo a pop it was one of the thoughts ofhim that was going through her head andso ya can say for me cancer was thebiggest biggest thing that changed andmaybe that's what I neededyou know things they were say the thingscome for a reason maybe that is what Ineededthat's a wake-up call this is why Iactually love like I love dis as part ofmy job because I get to meet people atyou and without having to go through thepain and that you've been through yeahit inspires me so much like this isinspiring but I have sometimes will betalking and I'll be like episode 4so-and-so said this how dare I feelsorry for myselfyeah I'm it doesn't get me through theday and I'll always think I'm blessedbecause when I'm gonna have him speak tosomebody I always get to meet a newfriend and a new person that I form arelationship and then it just changed myperspective because I'm like I'm so muchmore grateful even now just for likehealth see you perfectly because he'sjust pointed it out you know you washaving there we're gonna use the wordnegative again we're having dailythought about something and yet youinstantly realized you was and thenchange it into something positive bysaying about somebody such as 50 centsor how dare Iand it's absolutely like you know thisthere's so many people in this worldthat are worse off than you yeah youknow you other than those who arehomeless and you know this is one of thethings I want to do and as I get betterand better and you know be able to do itis to help the homeless because unlessyou're homeless and God not you if along as you go roof of your hand yesit's always tough if you haven't got ajob and I know it's a big thing and abig concern but yeah if you got a roofover you should be gratefulalways be playing with without gratitudeabsolutely can't move forward and Ithink I think that's that's a brilliantpoint I think it's something though wedo have to do every day because againadversity everything he goes foreveryone's life and I've had momentswhen but death happens all of a suddenfor that month but you're you you'regrateful for everything and you knowlife's too short please share everythingbut then you get very quickly back intotheir old habits happy so that's why Ialways readit should be like a day absolutely youtouch on the homeless thing so I'm I'mvery fortunate my parents are very likeloving people so we foster children andit's laughs okay well you're my sisterthen we adopted and my mom tried toadopt every single kid that coming tothe house and laughs there's no room inthe house so I've got like three whitesiblings and we've got Asian sister aswell was adopted and seeing them andseeing like their issues in terms oflike disabilities there weremalnutrition when they first came thereTestament disorders it made me sograteful like it changed my whole lifeso I gave good-paying jobs to becomelike a social worker to effectivelychange the world and it changed but thenwhat happened was when I got married andI moved into my house here we're sittingtoday yeahdon't my siblings I think about themevery single day but I don't live withthem every day to end that feeling ofgratitude every single day okaywhereas before I never had to remindmyself please job like this a nice thingpoor Kyle he might never be able todrive a car he'll never be able to dothis yeah and he used to make me feelgrateful yeah so it is something I thinklike anything like if you don't lookafter your health every single day it'sgonna deteriorate absolutely I think weshould always try and I think that's thebiggest issue and you get to a certainstage and when you're happy with yourlife you tend to start to forget aboutthat is you know just another quickpoint is you know it's not a religiousthing or I don't want to win anybodyhere but when when something bad younever think about God you go about yourday to day business but when somethingbad happens you straight away you'regoing and pray to God you know God isthere every single day yet you forgetand I know most people don't but themajority do you know they forget thathe's there every day and I even thoughI'm not a I'm a spiritual person and youknow it doesn't matter what you are deepdown with all the same so when you haveto pray to somebody then pray to themevery day if you want to if you feelthat God is your way forward and thenpray to God every day be thankful to himthat you got me walk every day not justa day that you're feeling down or youfind a bad day or you've lost your catyou lost your dog or anything else youknow every single day should be a daywhere you grateful with gratitude 100%you alcohol I think that's beautifulmessage I think it's something that I'mprobably cure you have I remember as akid man if I thought was gonna get introuble bug my parentslike God please get me through this daynever do it again I'm sure we've allkind of done yeah I thought okaybrilliant so we're actually at the funpart of the show is what I called it soit's again quickfire round of 60 to 90seconds depending when I apply you outbasically I just random questions okayare we all ready yeah okay we're gonnago in three two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be oh yeah yourfavorite beer butter oh yeah yourbiggest role model Oh baby what wouldyou like to be remembered for the good Idid your biggest goal this year to besuccessful and help us your worstmistake not doing Eternia if you couldrelive one day again what day would itbe the very first day I was bornthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible the number one thing thatannoys you but habits and when your fameneither your proudest moment my childrenyour favorite foodgot a visual icing chicken would yourather speak or languages or speak toanimals what's your favorite song at theclub by the Drifters and if you had anextra hour a day how would you spend itmeditating Netflix or YouTube Netflixand the final question is the number onepiece of advice you would give to yourchildren just be yourself okay brilliantso we're approaching towards the end ofthe show now and just two more questionsthat I always like to ask my guest thenext one's about reflection I saw thisis in hindsight obviously we learn wayswhere we can get to places quicker withless heartache or by saving money forexample so if you could go back knowingeverything that you know now and allyour words of wisdom and everything thatwe've spoken about in the show to ayounger time when maybe you wereconfused or going through a time whereyou had no clarity in your life yeah andyou can just whisper something in theyounger piece yeah yeah did you say goneback if I had and I think that this mayyou know I was thinking these yes noweven though I would tell myself that thefuture is what you create the Tippie soif you want your future to be betterpaint that picture in your head andthat's what I would whisper to myselfpaint the picture of how you want yourlife to be and it will create itthat's Brittany I think the more watersthe develop my dream and stuff as wellthat's more what I try and do is I likevision board and stuff and I think Ithink maybe as children as well we dothat but there's somewhere betweenchildhood when you've got that innocenceto growing up yeah we tend to lose it Ithink the vision boards are fantasticand I think that a great thing to havebecause it gives you a idea of how youwant your life to be but the whole timeto that to that is when somebody makes avision board they forget that they canchange that vision board and once you'velooked at it a few times it's just theresitting on the wall of what I tend to dois I've read my goals every morning I'llhave a book written in there what I wantmy average day to be like and I read thebook everything is pretty detailed ofhow I would like to be and I sit downand read it and if there's something alot I don't like in it I always draw itout and change it and I think withthings like vision boards and eventhough I did a great thing like I saidbut vision boards is a massive pictureof you know I feel Bree wants to bemulti millionaire and they know we'renear there it's it's an image where youthink well I'm not gonna get there butif you take small steps because visionboards can be expanded it can be changedbut I think people when who make visionboards are I'm not sure about yourselfof people who make vision boards tendnot to change it so then look at it onceor twiceliterally for a month or so after that -forget the vision boards he's there butyou know going forward it's not it's nota bad thing I'm not saying would yourecommend them having a two year goalit's about building confidence so ifyou're gonna like your goal down foryourself or goals down for yourself andyou've written a goal to say let's justsay for argument's say you're gonna havea million pound in a year and people dolike gods like now because the thing -what if I could create anything oragreat that create that I'm not sayingit can't be created but if y'all haven'tbut if you're not if you're not in linewith your positive thinking creatingthat video path is going to be difficultbut if you say to yourself I want tocreate a slightly similar goal so say afew sectors up I want to10,000 pounds a month 10,000 pound amonth is far achievable easilyachievable because your work hard racketabsolutely once you achieve your 10,000pounds a month you've put it and have abooster then draw your goal pika make ittwenty thousand their next month and youknow no no there's lots of people outthere don't think well I want to be amillionaire and I want to beat in a yearand but you didn't learn to speak andyou didn't know how long did it take youto learn to walk how long did it takeyou to do things now you know justgenerally to do things it takes 12 yearsfor you to go through school and learnall the things in school you're notgoing to become successful in a yearwell I'm not so don't get me wrong sorryI apologize for that it's not you're notgoing to be your mindset isn't brightguitar pitch there won't be a nomineesthat will obviously do it for the vastmajority of us we have to develop one asphere is changing one our mindset one Ihelp everything needs a line is haveyeah and we need to increase theconfidence and our skill set in all ofthose yeah and one of the things that II suppose I've suffered with I saw Idon't do vision boards myself is that nopeople do is when I used to have thesebig goalssomewhere along their journey if you'retrying to be like an entrepreneur tryingto find your way life yeah when yourealize how far you are from you goesyou become very dissatisfied to me andtrying to think of the right words forit be they the lack of motivation yeahbecause you think I'm just so far awayfrom it and even though you might havecome so far the J yank yeah you forgethow far you've come because you'relooking to have my uni heroso this is what I'm saying about visionboards you see becausevision boards are a great thing but ifyou're making a vision board and yourjourney is to be you know a supersuccessful entrepreneur but you're onlyhere you're not seeing absolutely howyou come you you're looking at that andyou you kind of can't get demotivatedbecause you know with anything it can'tbe change but if you're making a goalthat stopped being absolute but you'rehere so that's why that's my adviceno I think that's great advice is so ifwe use the analogy that IowaI can relate to very quickly is healthand fitness so everyone wants a six-packin just absolutely the number onequestion I always get a song that'sabsolutely fine we can get you asix-pack we can help you but it startswith one rep in the gymyeah starts with you going to the gymthat one day yeah and you can't ever getthere any quicker no matter how much youwould have to do that ripyeah then unfortunately you have to do alot of them reps and yeah you can't justdo one on one day you can't just sithere for 24 hours or let's do sit-upsanother city like the world it's aprocess and it's about understandingthat so yeah I think that's it it's apretty answer good answer and thatcertainly actually brings us to the lastquestion and the last question is if in150 years science fails to save us andnone of us are here and it's justhopefully my podcasts by then all thatremains is a book and this book is aboutyou everything in your life or the goodthings you've done or the wonderfulthings and all the people's lives you'vetouched and everything yeah what wouldthe back of the book tell us to makesomebody want to pick it up about youand also what would the title be well Ithink if I was who write a book thetitle of my book would have to be a caryou say Think and Grow Rich butsomething along the lines you knowthoughts I would say I would say it'shard to sort of define them an actualname for the Papa I would say somethingalong the lines of use your thoughtswell think carefully and think aboutwhat you want you know it's hard todefine a name think carefully that'sthat's quite interesting yeah it's sortof something along them lines and withthe back of the book create the lifethat you want by thinking history youknow think about how you painted apicture painting an image on your lifecreate an image of how you want what youlike to be it's hard to sort of it'sfine to be honest I think everythingthat you've said in this episode haskind of told us about the nerve of ityeah and I think the probably the mostimportant thing like you said it's thinkcarefully yeah because you realizedthrough your trials in tribulations isthat if your thought processes thatmanifesto LSU and make your existenceand everything but yeah I think that'sthe biggest thing really you know whenyou're somebody's gonna pick somethingup they're gonna think about what theyare doing what about you as a person howwould you how would you want to beremembered I would like to be rememberedas somebody who diddividing therefore everybody you knowdid the right thing for those who areless fortunate or try to do the wrongthing I think yeah that's brilliantthank you I think that's a great answerand I'm just a final note so we aregonna put your Amazon link in for yourvisit I think you definitely shoulddefinitely if people are interested inthemso it's it's an oil it's a variation allRoma therapy oils basically they're thenatural products there there's noartificial cooling or the fieldadditives in it and they can be used foryour health purposes there's cárdenas aswell and he tells you what you can whatthe purpose of these are and so each oilcan be used for various things I mean Iuse the head of tose so there's a andthere's an oil in there kiddo and Ithink it is that same as witch witchhazel if you're cruising if thought itactually takes your pain away but Idon't have anything okay so and againI'll use the oils to put in the SteamMop just a few tops fantastic you coulduse them in diffuser so there's manyuses for them yeah I got my wife as wellyeah and alongside that are you onsocial media as well is there a way orwould you be open to banners connectingwith yourself and yeah I mean if anybodyyou know wants any answers or questionsalways take on anything then yeah coolso I I am on social media on FacebookI'm not a big these further Facebook youknow yeah I think it's just a good pointof call because there could be somebodywho behind closed doors may haveresonated a certain part of your storymay be struggling with it may be goingfor the exact same thing yeah and thisis another thing the whole point of thispodcast is to let people know they'renot alone yeah so the story that you'regoing through I'm gonna be going throughabout a million other people who yeahthis is what it's about and it's alwaysnice when you can get somebody on theshow he's in a much better place thenyeah yeah and that's the point is artistso in that function enough when we'regoing through all the emotions and stuffand we think there is no light at theend of the tour like I thought you knowactually all of my guests havedemonstrated there is like it is herethat's what it's aboutfantastic so brilliant so we're I justwanted this moment once again just tothank you for your time today andsharing your story into the listeners athome I gotta listenit's for that play to be here andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we asked in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to deal with Fear #27 by Aren DeuTagline: "Wouldn't life be great if we wasn't scared of anything?"So I recently realised, that our brain is wired for survival not happiness. This definitely hit home when I sat there a few weeks ago and thought "Wouldn't it be incredible if I wasn't afraid of anything".As a result of realising that this wasn't feasible I felt I had to then learn to monitor it and control it. Seeing as fear will never go away, we need to try to at least live with it or else we are going to be a constant wreck of nerves, worry and stress. And on that note, remember the famous quote? "It's not hard work that will kill you, its stress".I hope this short episode adds some value and the 3 tips at the end and explanation around Fear help move you forward and at least reduce your fear, worry or panicking by a little.I also want to thank you all for helping support this incredible podcast. Please do reach out over social media and let's connect and continue to push this movement forward.P.s. remember any new reviews on iTunes, just send me a screenshot either on twitter, Instagram or to my email and ill send you the diet and gym plan as promised. It will likely be a 7-day window due to the volume of listeners.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6ywelcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of following your voice my name is iron and as always I am the host of the show so so they wanted to to you about fear probably the strongest emotion that we can ever experience a something that we either Hope record really all over you will experience at some stage in the future Nyerere you've probably heard the acronym such as four seven dense appearing real well maybe you've heard face everything the rise or forget everything a run and I'm sure this quite a few others that you could probably think of as well now the reason we're talk about fear is because fear was something not to stop me from part costed two years ago I don't really sat down and started to think about why I enjoyed podcast and song with fright night I'm gonna tell you very short stories about me keep you much of your time but I remember as a child spending let's see three or four days a week at least definitely weekends with my little because it's just that and %HESITATION we would do and was presented radio shows so how does the %HESITATION radio cassette thing whereby you book except I read you be used to listen to top of the pops so or the music shows record and then after every song we used to have like a segment that we used to do shows and stuff and it's really strange because I used to be so complicated I used to be for love adventure and doing things that I never really think about the risks soul if off by %HESITATION to what people would perceive of me fast forward a couple years after that and that's what it is all you really start to take over my life really start to impact me so it's funny now that I've come full circle twenty years later and I'm kind of doing my own radio show although I suppose you're gonna quit podcasting the reason I tell you that is because it was fate us stop me from Saddam apart because you see I was afraid of so many things I was afraid my accent would be understood I was afraid that like tool to quickly I was afraid nobody would listen I was afraid I would release the show and nobody would care I was afraid I would get guests on the show I mean I could list in fact I could probably talk with the minister on all my face but the reason I want not to be important I want you to just take note of this is because if I had to start that part cast when I did I at the beginning of two thousand nineteen then I wouldn't be where I am not aware I'm not it's literally a dream come true because my initial goal was to impart one pass and every single day that's what I want to do so I figured the Far East with Wall part because I can just impossible is life to maybe change that perception maybe change their attitude their actions on a daily basis to make their life back I'm not being very very for to the B. B. listen to over fifty six countries that which is incredible some of them I have David head of from completely honest we now average about fifty two hundred dollars a week which is beyond expectations we've been in many of the toss the self help which is a gated fantastic and not so thank you to you guys but I have to overcome my fear in order to kind of get this view you get this kind of enjoyment of the film and I'm now getting from the park us this well when you guys to do so I'm not necessarily saying you will need to do to podcast with or recommend it I'd say you need to find out what your fears are you really need to concrete so am I'm gonna leave you with three tips on how you can combat your fear because I think it's really important obviously after the sept so you have something tangible rather just hear me talk about my days as a radio show host as a kid but before I give you the tips I think it's also important that we talk about what happens when you experience fear and why it happens you see the brain relies on fear the human emotion fear because the Braves primary focus is to keep us alive he doesn't care whether we're happy or not at the end of the day we want to do is make sure we survive so we tend to have this response seven cute stress response notice fight or flight %HESITATION the third one freeze some research is actually I did this fourth one which is called for a for this kind of when you comply with the grass or the attack at thinking that that would help you don't go through so much pain so we can put the think of some disturbing example is there so anyway we have these four things not hopper movie experience this emotion of fair and if anyone out there is saying they're not afraid of anything you're lying because at the end of the day when you struggle with worry hi Nicole stressed that is ninety nine times out of a hundred relate to a fair so anyway this too many ways that you can probably know is when your experience in fair and once you can always sit down we can obviously call back to so the first one is a logical stress reaction nigh without going into the science but I can tell you if you are interested this is basically when your body releases hormones such as adrenaline and this comes from a U. endocrine system is the hypothalamus in your brain we shoot for these days the White basically does is increase your heart rate your blood pressure starts to go higher your pupils dilate your muscles tense of anybody actually start to sweat I mean that's just a couple of the symptoms and I'm sure we've all been in that situation I mean I remember growing up as a kid and I had a fear of dogs so whenever I see the dog pretty much all of those things would happen the second one is a psychological response that this is something that I gave you can probably will relate to you have you have about yourself noticing that you've just suddenly lost her temper or your rising tend to get angry was just sold quickly to think it what happened or maybe you just experienced a mind blank Ole maybe you'll struggling to make a decision because of an old wall of choices a sick game can be linked to fare as well so that's the main T. macro level ways that you can kind of identify if you've experienced via now we give you three very quick tips that you can do to combat fair or at least try and deal with it because at the end of the day fear is not leaving this fear is not something that we have just created in the twenty first century C. existed one of our lives is help keep us alive is that caveman days because that's basically the role of it passed the role of fear the motion in our brain needs it so anyway let's double over to the steps of the festival to give you is to accept it we have to recognize that it's not going to go away so we accept it will be accepted that basically means that we don't be ourselves HESITATION every time fear exists we just simply need to know that we need to either manage it but I we either fight to run away from it well we just kind of leave it day and again that depends on where you want to go in life so for me my aim is always been to inspire motivate people but Jimmy just help people I mean ID so much stuff in terms of just helping people which isn't a problem my job I just actually get probably the best for film look from that to see somebody else do well so am I have to do this I have to the podcast I have to be very visible on social media HESITATION any gain initially when I started I was very very uncomfortable I mean I'm not exactly an expert now but I do try but was off a sort of a combat zone the second is well I like to call doctor pepper it so what is the worst that can happen you know like the advent dot net back what's the worst that could happen and I always think about because nine times out actually let's trade to nineteen nine times out of a hundred the chances are the worst is really going to happen and if we take it to an extreme the worst thing that could actually happen is normally death and the chances are the stuff that you worry about where your life especially for this do this podcast that hasn't happened as it so why would you worry about it because the west never happened but we so often over complicated and I had to we make it out to be like this incredible monumental stressful situation is going to shock Reid reads in real life when in fact it's probably not that bad if one side and the final one is to talk about and this is something all use myself so I am an anxious buddy hi I'm a much Jenny intent of trying to improve myself but trust me I have very bad days I have days ruffle absolute shit I now have days are among the phone can I struggle and I get overwhelmed so I'm just like many of you I I'm not perfect one of the best things I've done is just is just talking about it and haven't won't pass it around me or a friend or a family who I'm able to just talk to not be judged and just let loose in terms of everything already off my chest I let loose with not all I talk about my experiences and generally what I find is most of the time the stuff the HESITATION I'm experiencing such a normal I know I talked out of ten they've experienced it to which Carter makes you feel like you're not the only one I can you know away don't basically so M. small may three tips I really do hope that you can kind of take those on board hope this episode gives you value again where do these or that the soul is because it's brilliant when I interview so when I get a massive deception change went ahead and HESITATION gets but sometimes it's difficult to extract that I give that to yourselves so a lot of my guests have been through their formal with some of come out the other side and that's basically the purpose of the show were you ordered to strive and what have you doing not only to be scared I don't what do you think it would be better if I wasn't afraid of anything because it's such a that fear that keeps us alive he keeps a shopping to keep this going so at don't be afraid of your fears crime face in trying hundred and twenty controller a little bit like rocky I think it was rocky five right now he spoke about Frankie fifth %HESITATION we gave up he's one of my favourite films not sure if any even what's that but I'm gonna leave it dead friend of rambling on a game thank you so so much for order your support in terms of all the reviews and everything it really is like the great speeding that I've ever experienced pass the it's nice to see someone like gas and so my listeners interacted on social media result which is absolutely fantastic give a shout on your social media platforms of your choice and we will show you some love back as well and as always guys thanks for listening and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

"How Society affects teenagers today" by Balraj Purewal #26Tagline: "These are the broken pieces of the puzzle that you still end up piecing together.."Life has moved on so quickly and within the space of a generation our world is now seen through a phone, almost 24/7. In fact I can't recall the last time I went out myself and didn't snap, Instagram or Facebook a status update.But for the youth of today they experience larger problems and issues, such as seeking external validation, comparison amongst peers and so often finding themselves missing the beauty of the presence.It is with this I decided to interview a teenager to show us, and give us a first insight into the life of a teen today. He explains very eloquently the struggles, the good the bad and the types of challenges he is presented with daily, amongst other teens.He is a poet at a heart, currently studying at my favourite university (no bias), whilst trying to figure out where he fits in the world amongst figuring out the intent of other people.We speak about many things in this episode that I really enjoyed recording such as:IntentImportance of internal validationBeing true to yourselfFinding your voiceWorking hardUsing social media for what it is todayA guy who is wise beyond his years and someone I believe will go on and achieve his dreams in the world today, I urge you all to show him some support and follow his journey below:P.s. remember any new reviews on iTunes, just send me a screenshot either on twitter, instagram or to my email and ill send you the diet and gym plan as promised. It will likely be a 7-day window due to the volume of listeners.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_b.purewal/ (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/word___art/ (Poetry)Snapchat: B.purewalHave an awesome day & #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcription:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of this show so today I'm gonna bebringing you our youngest ever guest onthe show now I was a little bitskeptical if I'm completely honest ofhaving somebody so young coming out to ashow like find your voice because findyour voice generally speaking it'speople who have gone through adversitygone through obstacles and problems andthen all of a sudden I sat back and Ithought hold on a second this is theexact kind of person we need on thisshow because I'm sitting here and almostmaking this judgment which is againshowing something that I need to beaware of and learn from that peoplegoing through their teenagers and goinginto transition into adulthoodhaven't got a voice and that's not whatI wanted the show to be about so anywayI'm gonna be completely honest he overdelivered in fact he was the star ofthis show and I'm very grateful that heshared his experience because there's somany things he mentioned in this episodethat made me kind of think back to howeasy I suppose my life was growingthrough that transition and many of uslistening to this because I checked thedemographics are a lot older thanbarrages and we never had to go throughthe social media constraints and theproblems and that external validationthat these children and teenagers aregoing through today so it's a very verygood episode in terms of one for anyonewho's going through this transition areyou the teenagers who are hopefullytrying to get to listen to this show toinspire and motivatebut more importantly it's just asimportant for us slightly older peoplewho maybe forgot what it was like growno to hear somebody's perspective or howdifferent life is so we talked a lotabout intent we talked about the typesof people that you come across in lifebut we also talk about some stuff thatjust really blew my mind that I wastalking to a teenager especially when Ithink back to what I was like growing upbecause I was not this emotionally awaythat I was just figuring it out and itgained that last bit there figuring itout is something that we go on to talkabout quite a bit in this episodebecause irrespective of where you are inthis journey in this wonderful thingcalled life we're always just trying tofigure it out so hopefully you find thisuseful especially towards the end of theshow because his last two answers wereincredible and they were very poetic andthen I happen to realize that he has apoetry account on Instagram which kindof made sense so a kid with a hugefuture ahead of him I'm very gratefulthat I've managed to tap into theyounger demographics as well I'm verygrateful for Barrett this time and Ihope you all really enjoy this episodeso without further ado let's jump intoit okay people I just like to start thisshow by welcoming bowrage to the showand thanking all the listeners fortuning in today how you doing today myfriend yeah I'm not too bad not too badOh better runs well thanks I let me comeon the show oh you're very welcome myfriend so I think to start this show Ithink it's really important that thelisteners get to know you a little bitso if you would have mind if you canjust kind of give us a briefintroduction into the life of Berridgeplease yeah well so obviously I went toaround four primary schools alreadyremember too much about it if I'm honestI mean I'm the whole guys created forone but then as I went along we movedhouse quite a bit went to one schoolthat was pretty racist I was like whatlike the third brown person there so itwas like I was getting called like the Pword most of the time and I was likewhat the hell's going on so being quiteyoung in primary school didn't reallyenjoy primary school too much becausealways like an outsider don't know if itwas because I was moving so much ormaybe I just wasn't people's kind ofguided which is not a problem and then Idon't know what just literally got intohigh school and then I was like well Idon't want that happening again it's notsomething one happening teenage hormonesare last like kicking in you know thatwas ragingdifferent kind of world with high schoolyou thinking what's going on here I'velearnedreally from lucky s7 I mean if if I'mhonest when I was in the s7 array I wasbit of know a kid or what Liars used toend up in isolation call hi a lot I'mnot sure well I am sure why but I feellike the school was quite strict as wellso any little minor thing I did wouldbasically be picked up on which is not abad thing I guess it took me to maturemuch quicker and this just kind oflasted to around year 10 I was like wellit ain't about who's got the biggest thebiggest this the biggest bat who can dothis who can do that because the realitydoesn't make any difference at all it'sjust you can crack on with themselvesand look after themselves and then whenI got to about year 11it just kind of semi just came out of myshell bit more because you know kind ofa person that it loves to talk to peopleI'm not sure why always been my thingyou knoweven now this like being on the podcastI read messaging you know I just lovetalking to peoplestead of me being stuck to my fault I'mwell I just beat somebody okay I canintake this knowledge from you how can Iapply this to my life oh you can do itlike this so like Erin you may say to meI'll do it this way and I may not evensing this other perspective because Imaybe so maybe I don't know deleted withmy own which is better for me to realizeobviously social media you know thephones are great but sometimes a lot ofpeople just end up stuck to it evenmyself at times well of course yeah butit was weird because in s7 like good onwords high school wise I always thoughtto myself I am I'm not fitting in itdoesn't make any sense why can I not dowhat they're doing why can I not do whatthe older people I did not realize and Ishould have enjoyed it more in themoment so I was okay cool that's not aproblem and then as soon as I started tocome up my shell but yeah 11 time youknow starts being two more people it waslike a lot more people were coming to mecame to six form where it was prettymuch the biggest change definitely fullycame out my child say I'm you know notin a cocky way oh I'd say I'm quitetalkative bubbly loving and caringperson mm-hmm so I guess it's kind ofcame with some baggage as well because Icouldn't even realize with somebody thatwas trying to maybe mess me around infront of my faceI want to realize because I think theyhave the same heart as me hmm so Iwouldn't even realize anything like thatand then obviously you know that youlive and learn obviously as you growingup and I think for teenagers now it'shard because everybody's trying tosorry for the language but fuck eachother over unless they're really genuinebecause they're like oh I have this ormy dad's got this my mom's got this whatdoes yours has what does your has yourshave I've got this PlayStation you don'thave it oh you don't have it why not oryou know just the little - things whichis you know it's no part of generalgoing on but I guess you don't realizethat until you actually do start to growup and like me going up into a man nobit of an awkward age at the moment 19kind of in the middle teenager turnedinto a young actual man now if you knowme like 18 years the normal designatedage anyways for when they say you were ayoung adult voice you're still in thatin between mm-hm if you know what I meanand then yeah like obviously then I wentto uni as well so just finished my firstyear basically thought I'd stay outfirst year get a bit more independenceand you know again actual experience oflike the halls or whatever like you knowhow everybody hyped up or whatever andit was great experience met some amazingpeople really amazing people some peoplewith some really good hearts but youmeet some give me some weird ones aswell it's really weird people you knowsome people may just want to use andabuse some people actually may want tohang around with you or some people justwant to distract you so you've just gotto make sure that you stay true toyourself and keep with a good heart atall timesso it seems that until at leastUniversity you were trying to one figureout who you are but to also figure outhow people are and I suppose especiallywith the last one it doesn't reallychange I mean I'm a little bit olderthan you but I still go through thatsituation where I'm still trying tofigure out why people are the way theyare or why certain people don't act theways for instance that I act so I willalways go in with good intentions andthen all of a sudden you'll realise thatother people's intent isn't necessarilythe same as yourself so I suppose apiece of advice having gone through thatprobably a little bit more than yourselfis just try and at least be wary ofpeople's intent because some peoplemight come across as almost like thegreatest people that you've ever seenbut then you will find later on oncethey get what they need to extract fromyou as a person you'll find they'll kindof disappear so that's just kind of likea piece of advice but you touched onsome prevalent things that I candefinitelythink about when I was a kid soespecially in the Punjabi culture thewhole drinking and how much can youdrink it's a purely ego thing 100% Ifell into that I fell into almostdamaging my health at the fact of I needto keep up with people when I drinkwhere is now I'd like to think of myselfas slightly more matured if I don'tfancy a drink I would just say that'senough for me and I'll kind of walk awayfrom it but again it's a learning lessona few points I've just made not of aswell that I want to just touch on so youwere always a naughty kid and you'realways I mean you've got yourselfexcluded for trying to bite somebody'snose but then all of a sudden thingsstarted to change and you said somethingwhich I thought was quite important andit was you opened up and the moment youstarted to open up you felt people startto gravitate towards you more I justwant this in relation to that then wasthat a sort of force thing or was thatjust you thinking okay there's no pointme just being this shy person when Ihave so much more to show to the worldobviously I was looking at other peoplethinking how are they doing this why somany people coming to them I'm just youknow I'm worrying too much about otherpeople now you know I actually need tolisten unlike for me and I've alwaysbeen quite open anyways quite if I wantsomething or if I want a fun one andknow something or I want to saysomethingI will say because I just get that offmy parents as well because if they wantto say something they'll just say theydon't they don't be around the bush Idon't see the point either because thenyou're just passing around make it morefuss than need to be so then literally Ijust try to be myself and I was likeokay this about in the year 11 more insix form was around a lot of people arecoming to me and I was like okay this isa bit weird I don't really know how tohandle this and what I found was it justcame with a lot of baggage as wellbecause a lot of people were coming tome but I was like even me me being adumb ass at times I want to realize thatsome people are just there to use me forpopularity or whatever it was and it'sokay though because like I learned fromit like it made me learn that somepeople like you you don't need to hangaround with these people all the timeyou don't need to hang around with apopular crowd it just doesn't make adifference we should be working towardsbetter in the world absolutely I thinkthat's a valid point and just on thatbasis you just reminded me of somethingthat you said earlier as well so yousaid initially obviously you find itdifficult to fit in and then you saidwhich isa problem like literally straight afterand I thought I was that was quite aclever point that you made plus it alsoshows your intelligence that you'rethinking a lot differently because atthat age it is all about fitting in itis all about being the coolest kid onthe block getting the most likes onInstagram and being that that kind ofperson what I want to ask you is whenyou start to be yourself and things weremore positive and obviously you know isthis and you've just explained it do youknow why you wasn't yourself prior tothat I just think are always quite sincesince being young I've always been quiteobservant a bit more like bit or notalways been an awful thinker I'm notsure why I just I've always thought thatI need to be doing more than I need thenI am or I need to be doing pair but youcan't be because like that's that'swhere I got to university now and I'veonly just realized now that you can't beperfect in everything you do and mebeing like a lot of perfectionist when Iwas in school you know I was about toget the best grades etc you know GCSEwas okay you know six form I did quitewell and I just thought you could beperfect but as a human you just can't beperfect so then I started to realizejust be myself I'm always gonna have myflaws as everybody else will have thefloors it just depends who wants to staywith you and still accept your flaws andaccept you you want 100 percent I thinkyou just hit the nail on the head thereas humans you can't be perfect there isno such thing as perfect and this is oneof the things that I suppose even when Istarted this podcast it was to showpeople look I'm just a shy person I'm ananxious person even in this conversationwith yourself on making mistakes um forgetting my words and stuff as well andsometimes it's about embracing yourvulnerabilities your weaknesses and thennext time just trying to be a little bitbetter so I think that's a very goodlesson for anyone in your situation andjust I'm gonna finish it actually onanother thing that you mentioned as wellwhich was when you said in relation tohow people may not have the same intentas you is that it's okay you learn fromit and it sounds easier in hindsight butI think if we can all take ourexperiences your life not not as apersonal attack but more as a sort oflearning experience I think it helpsyour mental sanity a lot more so I'vehad people for example where a similarsituation to yourself where I'm thinkingwhy hasn't that worked out or why is theperson acting in this way that you knowa normal person wouldn't think isethicalor the right way and rather thandwelling on that and then thinking I'mnot worthy of receiving a good person inmy life what I do is I take that as alesson and I think okay fair enough thatperson's got what they wanted out ofthis relationship but next time I'llhave more experience and I'll be wiserfrom it and if a similar type of personcomes along I will know to move on awayfrom that situation if that makes senseyeah like even what I said like it'slike even whoever is it can only be alesson a blessing or like you know likethey're there for life whether it's afriend or a family memberabsolutely absolutely so we've touchedon University and how you've developedin terms of one trying to find outexactly who you are you feel a lot morecomfortable now in the way that you areyou've slid into my DMS you happilyspeak into other people I think that's agreat way that we should be in the worldespecially coming from a very shy personI wish I had the confidence just to kindof put my hand out or just smile atpeople openly in the world because eventhrough my very short experience on thispodcast I've met some incredible peopleand I realize that I'm at my happiestwhen I'm connecting with people and whenI'm getting on with people so I thinkit's fantastic that you're doing that atsuch a young age what have you donesince University or what are you lookingto now achieve moving forward in lifemoving forward obviously on your firstyear Aston University doing businessmanagement great unique kind of thetypical thing probably I'd be void yes Iwant IT typical thing but all in allfrom young always like I'm just alwayswanting to be self-employed it's notthat like okay it's decent working forpeople if they give you decent benefitsbut what I find is that if you cancontrol your own destiny and you canbuild what you want to build him it maynot be something that you know now likeeven me I'm still like what do I dodo I go this way do I go that way it'sstill not no but I guess there's stilltime to figure it out it's not like lifeis short but it's also long as well andyou know there is some days but you'llbe lazy and there's some days where youjust don't have a clue what you do butit's like pretty much everybody's fakingit until they can make it basically intheir own ways which is not a bad thinghow can everybody know what's going onreally because then really trying tofigure themselves out figure where theirfoundations are in the world for me Iwant to build my sample the best I canbemy parents have allowed me to have a lotof freedom and it's right like evenpeople come up to mewhyyou moment that's all like cool withyou what like that my dad is my dadhe'll know when to tell me like straightto the pointbut he'll even have a conversation withme like we're like best friends wish Ilook and the same thing I can do with mymama's also you know I'm glad that hadparents like that got two lovely sistersas well you know they're growing up nowyou don't even realize how much they'regrowing up until you actually see themyou thinking that how did you get tallerit's all a crazy one even myself I lookin the mirror I think where did thisbeard come from I always wanted to be atthis person's got a beard why can I haveone but they just comes in your own timeas everything does absolutely unlike formyself you know I think for the Barrettbarrage I am today like I would say formyself I'm a loving caring humble butmore selective person based on theexperience that I've already had becauselife is already hard as it is life'salready the responsibility is gonnastart ended up piling up anyways sothere's no point it would be negativeyou could have just got to try be aspositive as possible absolutely I thinkthat's really well said and thisactually helped me massively my mindsetand hopefully can help the listeners aswell is the moment I realize that everysingle person is just figuring it outand regardless of their externalappearance or how they seem to have itall together and realize it actuallythey don't and just like you just likeme just like the person listen to thiswe're all just figuring it outnobody's give us the perfect blueprintfor life I don't believe that one existsyeah I think it's brilliant that youknow that on 19 because at 19 I was Ithink I was starting you need do myfirst qualification and I had no ideawhat I was doing I didn't know what Iwanted to become the kind of person Iwant you to be remembered forI was not aligning anything with myvalues on my ethics and this issomething that obviously you're nowgoing through that journey and everyonearound your age is gonna actually gothrough but I think if you can all justtake one lesson away and just know thatyou don't have to have it all figuredout in fact I'm now under a little bitolder where I'm still trying to figureout what am I going to be doing in thenext five years in ten years and whathappens is as we start to grow as peoplethrough our own personal development ourawarenessbe more selective which I thought was abrilliant thing that you pointed out aswell then you're automatically findyourself moving towards things that youlove andyour passion projects hence my podcasthere so I said brilliant and today likeI said you're a lot wiser than I was atyour age hopefully thank you hopefullyyou continue so I was going to ask youabout your routine but I'm prettycertain I know how most uni studentslive their life at uni so here's andthere's nothing wrong with that becauseit's all it's all part and parcel of thejourney I mean my university meeting wasliterally vodka kabobs hangover andwhatever whatever I could find on TV soexactly so I'm not gonna embarrass youabout that but I want to move on tosomething that might be able to givesomebody again some value from thisinterview is about adversity so if youcan think of maybe like a time and Iknow you're still young yet but I stillbelieve that we become the kind ofpeople we are because of the lessons ofthe journeys that we go through so ifyou could think of a lesson of adversityor a problem that you face and then moreimportantly once you've shared that ifyou could just tell us what you learnedfrom it can i this question if I - okaybecause I think what I found has givenme the biggest shock this year isholding on to people okay you knowhaving expectations of people because ittold me a lot this year because you knowyou know how it is lobbying a young ladyou think these are my boys man theseare doing it all I'm gonna do it as wellyou know and it will work in the samecycle and don't get me wrong it's allgood to have your friends your boyswhatever you want to call them but youhave to realize when your energy is notbeing valued or serving you and somebodyif they're not going to value it becausea lot of people are just there to prettymuch just take the mick and they'dalready care what's going on your lifethey just won't know because if youaren't doing better than them thinkingwhy can't I do that myself as well thatyou know again not in an arrogant wayare all like you know I'm friends withgirls I don't see them like anydifferent 2ml you know we're human atthe end of the day and a fun you knowsometimes you know it may sound bad tosay as well you know more for genderequality and stuff but sometimes girlsare just a bit more sensible with theirthinking you're a feeso whereas lads will just be like wellwe'll be looking at each other what doyou want to do your should we have adrink shall we do this mainly it justdepends on the crowd that you surroundyourself with so once you find thatright crowd that's when it will be allgood and well but it's just fine in thatright crowd and finding who you to stayaway from here to stay with you know Iseek quite a lot of validation fromothers as wellwell all in all I don't need to worryabout if it's good for myself and when Ilook back at it now it was good it wasgreat every single timeand if I didn't look at other people allthe time then you know I would havestarted to appreciate myself a lotearlier but now I'm glad that I'm snowyoung and still learning now learningnow that I only need to worry about ifit looks good for me and not anybodyelse because you're the only one thatyou have in this world you know you haveyour family that you keep close friendsyou you know friends are the family thatyou choose and you know y'all needed tocare what you think of yourself as awhole and a fair for you that you canreally trust and that's the bottom linereally for me absolutely Matt I thinkthat's a brilliant point that you justmade there and I think some of the stuffthat you're explaining now isn't stuffthat I believed that we had to gothrough especially my generation or thegenerations older than myself becausethe whole getting validation from yourpeers or getting validation from socialmedia it's become a massive massiveproblem in societyand you also touched on a very goodpoint as well in relation to women beingmore sensitive and more I suppose opento talking about their feelings and thisis something that I really want to tryand work on in the future is getting mento open up about their vulnerabilitiesand talk about their weaknesses and allthings that they struggle with becausemale suicide is far too high for what itshould be in fact it should never bemental health is obviously poor as wellwith males as well and I just think wehave such a bravado and this kind of wehave to show strength all the time thatwe're almost too afraid to kind of speakand it causes problems so I think it'sgreat that maybe it's you as anindividual hopefully it's morewidespread across your community thatyou guys are at least acknowledging thatthere is this lead here in your societyso I think that's brilliant I think it'salso important that anyone in your agerange or anyone going through whatyou're going through doesn't seekvalidation externally it's all aboutreceiving internal validation firstyou've got to love yourself beforeanyone else out they can love youbecause irrespective of what they saywhen it comes down to it you sit in yourown mind on a daily basis on your bottomyour mind can be your best friend or itcan actually be your enemy so you reallyneed to work on that so it's reassuringfor me listening to you to know thatyou're in a much better place understandI mean I think like even how you sayingthey're sorry to cut you off is no noyou can with mental health and you knowthat even as you said the suicide goal Ididn'tthat myself that male suicide is goingup but with mental health like I find itsuch a big cuz even myself like I won'tsit here and I say I haven't been for itmyself I have because I always thinklike you know I've been there in my bedfeeling low as how old you know feelingfeeling rock but I'm thinking you knowand people will say to me what do youhave to stress about you're only 18 19and that's okay that's so cool that'sthere like we used to get on with itback in the day but it's just it's notthe same because we've got all thisaccess to social media nowadays we'vegot people trying to make themselveslook better put like different like youknow brightnesses on their pictures orincrease the brightness of their face ontheir pictures and you know you may meetsome people they don't like this day andthen they're not actually like whatwe've been trying to portray they areand social media and that's what F's itall up because you can't betray yourselfto be something on social media and whenyou meet the person you like well thisperson just the whole different spectrumand with mental health advice it'salways like you can you can do betterthan the other person who you can F overthe other person who can keep on goinguntil some like it's like a it's like arat race like a wolf kind of like a wolfpack sort of thing who can be the thewolf that climbs at the my own first andand all the other ones are trying tolike basically just drag him down andit's hard because you know even withPunjabi community once again they'realways like well if you say to them thatyou have a mental health problem wellthey'll just be like okay no problemjust deal with it yeah I mean it can'tbe that way because I'll getting worsenow and there's only more awarenessabout it now because of social mediawhich the benefits of social media aswell and all this kind of stuff I thinkthat's a that's a great point and againfor the listeners that it's a lot harderand I kind of do sympathise with youguys coming up in this generation wheresocial media has this good parts but ithas this kind of evil tail to it as wellwhere I never had to deal with that sogrowing up for me when I was going touniversity and we were drinking andpartying his sirwe were never worried about taking snapsor or having a whole night out lookingthrough the lens of our phone it wasjust kind of being there in the momentin experience in it and then ourself-worth wasn't pretty much like thatoh absolutely and at the same time ourself-worth wasn't predicated on the factof when we go home at the end of thatnight who got the most likes on that forthe most engagement for example so I'mvery grateful for that and I think it'simportant that you mentioned that but Ijust want to say something else that youmentioned as well because you've said ita few times now and it's probably moreso because of youris that you seen everyone F each otherover because of like you're almostseeing it like a rat race and I thinkthe rat race thing is an important thingand I've tweeted something this morningit was taken from Wayne died and it's avery good quote which i think is quiteuseful for where we are right now inthis show and what he says is we're inpartnership with all other human beingsit's not a contest to be judged betterthan some and worse than others and Ithink if we all sin ourselves a sort ofpartnering up with humans and trying tohelp each other move forward in thislife because at the end of the day we'reall figuring it out as we've touched onearlier I think the world will be insuch a better place but we have thisscarcity mindset where we think in orderfor me to move forward I have to standon somebody else or put somebody elseaside as opposed to saying yeah why do Ihold your hand and we'll move togetherand you're always quicker and strongertogether so I think it's reassuring tohear that you're you've got that mindsetand I think if you remain selective likeyou mentioned earlier I think you'll getthe right network around you toobviously help yourself move forward Ithink what it is as I it's always thatyou've got you right it's always at alland everything as well it's like that'sif you want to create a business rightit's always a trial and everything wherehumans are like you may trust one andthen they may break your trust and youmerge that listen with your whole heartand that's not bad that's not thatshouldn't people shouldn't beatthemselves up if that happens becauseit's a learning lesson that means thatperson wasn't meant to be in your lifeand that means that there's better tocome because even even anyways thatyou've got to have some good days tohave some bad days you've got to havesome bad days to have some good daysit's just as simple as that and you justgotta take the positives that are veryfrom that you can't absolutely meabsolutely yes sir very wise words for a19 year old so appreciate I'll get at meso you're now in your first yearUniversity you've made massive strideswith your talent and your emotionalintelligence is really really high whichis nice to hear what saves you very goodquestioncurrently in my life at the moment whatscares me is not being able to provide acomfortable life for our potentialfuture wife and kids you know not beenough hub I'm a family now my mom dadmy sisters you know they're gonna wantto get married and well yeah I thinkthey're gonna need help with fine likefinance is not the be end and end allbut it does make life with more freedommore comfort so you know if there'ssomething that Idude help them make their life easierand maybe I don't know let's say I hadanother source of income I could give itto them I'd be happy to do that but it'sjust you've got a we're card for thesethings my mom you know she's a teacherherself so you know I always see yesshe's always stressed out so she'salways coming you know she'll be withwork all day she'll be coming back inthe market papers you know tour about9:00 10:00 at night I don't know shedoes it and then repeat the day mybiggest fear is not making their lifeeasier and my biggest fear is not beingable to provide a comfortable life formyself and the family around meI think you've almost answered the nextquestion as well which I was going toask about the motivation so it seemsthat your motivation right now is to beable to successfully graduate and thenprovide different streams of income tofacilitate one obviously your sister'sgetting married helping your parents athome and then obviously giving yourselfthe kind of life that you want as wellyeah because like even for me as welland working under people just kind ofget under my skin a bit to be honest butyou're gonna have to do the minute youagree for a couple years of your lifebecause that's the way it is when you'reyoung as well you know people have toldme that that's the way and you justgotta work hard you've got to keep yourchin up which is not a problemso like currently now I'm working atNando's which is not a problem I'm happyI'm happy for the free Nando's I can'tcomplain but it's a good job for me nowbut could I see myself doing that whenI'm what thirty years old I wouldn'tlike to think so often - because youknow even though it's a good job youknow dealing with customers thatstraight rude or having so much pressureput on you and you know running back andforth running back and forth it's allgood while I'm young but maybe when Iget older maybe I may not just have thatenergy that's interesting firstly I'mhoping I get a free round after thispodcast session is on oh yeah that'sjust as good the weird thing is thereason I'm touching on does is oneeveryone knows I absolutely love Danlosbut tea when I was at university it justopened on Birmingham Broad Street and Iremember sitting there oh I workedliterally all the way through Universityso I went to the same uni as youAston uni and I always had a job noWayans yeah yes I had a job on theweekends and my aim I remember whenNando's opened after trying it I waslike man I really wish I had a job atNano so it's funny how the world worksbut there was a point in time wherehaving a job at Nando's was literally mydream job at least for that period inone yeah time so appreciate where youareappreciate or the good thingbe grateful for everything that's comingyour way now it's taught me like youknow it's told me that hard to grit myteeth who went there a lot of rudecustomers come in so you have to lookafter it like it's like it sounds a bitweird like it's like your own family youhave to keep it clean the place becausethat's where people are going to come inlike you know if you come into the storyyou want to make sure everything isclean you want to make sure the food'son point cannot attend not 9 out of 10because it's not if it's not 10 out of10 then you know you're not going to behappy with the service at all you knowhave a smile on your face and just keepon going like keep your chin up evenwhen it gets hard like even for mesometimes I'll be like I'm just touchingmy forehead thinking flirty arm and Ineed a break but you just got to keep ongoing absolutely me absolutely we'reactually at the fun part the show nowthere is no right or wrong answer butjust try and say the first thing thatcomes in your head we're gonna go inthree two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be judgmental peoplepeanut butter and Nutella peanut butteryour biggest role model biggest rolemore mom what would you like to beremembered for being Who I am yourbiggest goal this year to just keep onworking hard no matter how hard it getsyour worst mistake is listening to otherpeople about a certain person if youcould relive one day again what daywould it be 26 of May two years ago whyit was just everybody was therefamily friends you know we was at myhouse and it was just you just wantedmost be of things you know honestly Iread I really loved that day I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when your fame that's a hardon max I'm thinking well with things youcan get money but then what I say moneyyour favorite food the mix grown andokay speak our languages will be able tospeak to animals animals what song bestdescribes your life Dizzee Rascalbonkers would you rather know how youwould die or when you would die andfinally if you could sit with one personin the world for an hour who would it beprobably my baby my grandma I love thatso the next question it's aboutreflection and I'm a firm believer thathindsight is a wonderful thing and itteaches us ways to get there quickereasier and we're less heartachebut I'm also an avid believer that thejourney teaches us so much as well interms of his lessons so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone particular moment knowing everythingthat you know right now and whispersomething to a younger barrage whatwould you say I just said to myself I'dsay barrage do you not worry it will allcome to you in the end you will not endup failing you are not a quitteryou are not inclined to please otherpeople put yourself first say no if youdon't want to do it it's as simple asthatenjoy the present moment more don't looktoo much into the future ruining yourfull process already and don't look backwith pain in your heart these are thebroken pieces of the puzzle which yousaw might end up still piecing togetherhave fun and live life enjoy your youthdon't look too much into girlsalcohol or any other distractions justtry and discipline yourself more keepyourself closed off but keep yourselfliving and humble always may I love thatI want you to do me a favor after thispodcast and actually send me thatwritten form and that was almost likepoetic you mentioned something therethese are the broken pieces and thepuzzle that's still in the piecingtogether but I want to do it just thisso if you can send me that at yourtranscript or what I'll do is I'mactually gonna bring them out separatelyno problem I mean I even I even do havea separate poetry account as well that Ido must like check it out if you haveany time yeah it's on my new profile butit's on its good word under school andschool oh okay check that as wellbrilliant so suddenly that actuallybrings us to the last question and thelast question that I always ask my guessis if in a 150 years time science failsto save us and all that exists is a bookand this book is about you andeverything that you've achieved in yourlife all your weird and wonderful dreamshave been accomplished what I want toknow is firstly what would the title ofthe book say and secondly what would theblurb at the back tell us about you Iwrote yesterday I said you know he waslike I know other he persevered like noother he had himself he was elegantclean hearted charming and crazy hewould always go the extra mile for thosewho were close to his heart at times endup hereall in all he always tried to see thebright side of life the world is alreadytoo cold and entangled in its ownpleasures to not be positiveof that as powerful have you got a titlefor that the title the life of aninquisitive man brilliant me if youwouldn't mind could you give us the bestsources via social media where we cancontact you Instagram I love being oninstagram my instagram is under schoolbeat up for a while its be PU or e w alquite active on snapchat as well is beatup for a while again be pu r e w althey're the main ones I'm active on tobe honest ok no problem so what I'll dois for everyone listening today I'mgonna make sure I put all of the linksso you can contact barrage directly verysocial media as you've probably seenfrom some of these answers today's verypoetic so I'll be following them on hisInstagram poetry handle as well myselfstraight after thisI want to thank Mirage for being openabout his story and sharing it andhopefully this influences and inspiresmany others and I want to thank everyoneat home for listening thank you thankyou and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to deal with overwhelm #25 by Aren DeuTagline: "Overwhelm was the main driver behind my anxiety"Overwhelm, whether it comes through your to-do list, your emotions or thoughts is something that can cripple you. It can cause undue stress that has negative connotations on your life. For me dealing with overwhelm has been an uphill struggle personally for years, but through self development and working on myself I have found ways to combat it, reduce it or at the very least recognise why it appears.It is something that affects, children, teenagers, women, men and even the elderly but the positive thing about it, is that it can be managed. I hope these tips and tricks and me sharing my own vulnerabilities with overwhelm encourage you to never shy from your weaknesses and to express them, share them and then tackle them to grow.I hope you all have an amazing day and get in touch via any of the social media handles below and let's connect and continue this movement.P.s. remember any new reviews on iTunes, just send me a screenshot either on twitter, instagram or to my email and ill send you the diet and gym plan as promised. It will likely be a 7-day window due to the volume of listeners.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren Deu a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself Mr Aren Deu what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so recently I've beengetting quite a few requests to discussthis topic that I'm gonna be speaking toyou about today overwhelmed because Isuppose when you see people on Instagramand they're doing weird and wonderfulthings almost 24 hours a day you youstart to think how on earth are theymanaging to keep that going now againI've spoken about all this previously inrelation to Instagram or Facebook beinga kind of highlight reel so don't alwaystake everything on 100% face value thelikelihood is there are also some badmoments and a lot of failures along theway and one of my failures I suppose orshould I call it learning experienceswas my anxiety and as many of you nowknow because the intro reminds us everysingle time in Zayat it was somethingthat really did cripple me for the bestpart of theyiodd years and it's not something that Icould say I've actually completely gotrid of so one of the key drivers behindmy anxiety was definitely overwhelm andit was something that when it happenedit would come from Norway and it wouldconsume me in that moment and almostparalyzed me into doing anything nowobviously through learning and workingon a lot of self-developmentI'm able to now kind of at leastmitigate the impact of it but also justtry and have a few hacks that willbasically make me at least seem like anormal functioning human afterwards so Ithink it's important that obviously I'dgive you some of the causes as to whysome of us may feel overwhelmed but moreimportantly just before I begin what Iwant to do is just put my cards on thetable besome of you out there might be a bitembarrassed to speak about the thingsthat you're overwhelmed about so Ifigured if I kind of embarrass myselfright here right now on this podcast andthen hopefully as a resort that youwon't feel as embarrassed or as shy toshare your views as well because I dobelieve that sometimes when we share ouranxieties especially with the peopleclose to us they become more sympatheticand they become more understanding ofour situations so one of the things thatI used to get anxious about was notresponding to messages quick enough nowthis could be a text message it could bea whatsapp or it could be an email thelevel of anxiety when I send my phonebleep and if in that moment I couldn'trespond because I was eating or I waswatching something with the missus orwhatever it was it would almost consumeme and make me very anxious especiallywhen I used to drive as well it's theworst thing in the world when you hearyour text go off in the car and you'rethinking shit I need to respondespecially as an anxious wreck likemyself the second one was being late andI remember this even as a young kidwhere my auntie used to take me and mycousin sister to school and she'd alwaysbe late and I would be standing therewith my bags ready for school almostgetting into this unbelievableuncontrollable mess and I'll bestressing in case I've got told up bythe teacher he would then tell myparents and then I get in trouble fromthem so I used to have all thesescenarios player in my head and as faras I could remember I don't think I everactually got in trouble but yeah belayis it's one of the things that I reallystruggle with and it's probably why oneof my pet peeves is people actuallybeing late the third one was myanticipation of dogs so growing up I hada massive fear of dogs having beenchased by one on a holiday in Canada soI would almost make up this scenariothat every house I was gonna go andvisit or every house that I would crossor watch me I would turn down they wouldjust randomly be a dog there and thenthat would obviously cripple me and makeme feel like a nervous wreck to beunderstand and elevate my heart rate itmade me sweaty for no reason and itwould just make that day unbearable atleast until I realized that most of thehouses I went to never had dogs and thenthe final one was always just beinganxious for no apparent reason I wouldwake up I'd be in an absolutely funkI'd be feeling overwhelmed by stuff andit was just so difficult to reallyunderstand why I was feeling this way sothat's methat's my cards on the table hopefullythat makes you feel a little bit betterbecause I can't imagine you havinganything as embarrassing as that so tomove this forward what I want to do inthis episode is to give you guys tips Iwant to give you guys tips that I usepersonally and tips from other expertsas well in the world to basically makesure that you're not consuming yourselfand wasting energy on stuff that doesn'twant matter but to stops you from doingthe things that you need to be doing tomake yourself happy and fulfilled solet's begin by thinking of the commoncauses behind overwhelm and stress Ithink the first one is expectation andthis is probably one of the mainnumber-one sources for stress andoverwhelm across the world if I'mcompletely honest with you it's tryingto satisfy the expectation that we placeunnecessarily not just on ourselves butalso on others as well so sometimeswe're expecting people to idea to ourway and that's not always the case butsometimes we also expect too much ofourselves as well so number one isexpectation moving on to number two iswhen you take on too much now if you'reanything like me and you follow me onInstagram or through my social mediaactivities I'm trying to do a bit ofeverything and there are times wheneverything's going fine but then thereare also times when I'd do burnout and Ido still struggle with overwhelm I'mhere trying to make a social enterprisefor mental health I'm working on mypodcast I'm working on my personal brandI'm working with clients I do a littlebit of personal training here and thereI try and work out myself I have aproperty business as well and so muchmore so it can become dauntingespecially when you have friends andfamily and just other things that youwant to be doing on a daily basis sothat's something that I would certainlymake sure that you're not trying to takeon too much and you're not trying tosolve all the world problems all at onceanother one little bit similar toexpectations but it's about puttingpressure on yourself and if you'reanything like me I always kind of hadthis voice in my head and he just kindof highlights all of the things that Idowrong in fact that's pretty much all itwas doing at one point in time so if Iwasn't eating well enough if I wasn'tworking out well enough or if I wasn'tworking as hard as I should have on thatdayI would almost be lit on myself and myself-worth and my value would almostdecrease day by day and what I realizedwas that I was just trying my best as wewere love you all kind of go throughlife and we try our best with whateverresources we have available but in thatmoment I could be working absolutelyfine for six days 16 hours a day andthen if I choose to have a day off I wasputting this pressure on myself that oneI needed to get to my goals a lotquicker and to that I just wasn't worthyof that time off and boy was that aroller coaster of emotions and againoverwhelm and just unnecessary stress soif that's you make sure you take offthat pressure there is a thing calledescapism and it's something that Istarted to do recently and just try andreflect back and think what are thethings that make me happy is it reallygonna make me that much happier if I endup burning out and then all of a suddenI can't work for X amount of days justfor the sake of working that Sunday itjust might not be and the next one isperfectionism so I had this almost likea a proud badge of honor that I was aperfectionist and I suppose it was oneof the things I used to use ininterviews as a sort of when they usedto ask the question what is yourweakness because it's one of those youcan kind of turn it around but being aperfectionist actually sabotage a lot ofmy progress especially my early yearswhereas now if you follow me again onany of my social media outlets I justkind of say what I want to say and it'sout there and I'll make a lot ofspelling mistakes I'll make a lot ofediting mistakes even on my podcast is acouple of podcasts I'm not sure ifyou've heard previously where some ofthe sound is a little bit mumbo-jumboand yeah it's just kind of that wholeanalogy of let's not try and be perfectnow let's just try and move forward 1% aday and that certainly helps me ratherthan trying to make sure everything'sperfect because let's be honest nobodyis perfect for a start and you're nevergoing to be perfect without trying inthe first place so the best way to do itis by taking a swing of the bat dayafter day day after day putting in thosereps and overtime you start to perfect your craft youstill probably won't be perfect but itcertainly does take that pressure offyou next up we have control now this isone that I'm sure many of you can relatewith but if you're anything like me I'ma little bit of a control freak so Ilike to do a lot of things myself hencewhy I'm kind of I suppose overworkingand when it comes to outsourcing it'svery difficult for me to kind of handover the control and that's not to sayI'm the greatest at what I do becausethere are people who can do so manyother things I do on a daily basis somuch better but it's just handing overthat control that initial bit of sayinghere you go that's something I reallystruggle with in life and I'm prettysure many of you listening today canobviously relate to that as well sothat's basically five I supposeingredients as to why people generallyfeel stressed and overwhelmed okay sonow that you know what the causes arefor ends ieand overwhelm what I'm gonna now giveyou is just some tips and tricks onthings that you can do now this listit's compiled not just through thethings that I do but it's also compiledfrom a lot of research that I've beendoing over the years as well because Iam very very passionate about personaldevelopment none of us are perfect andit's all about trying to be better eachtime so through the books that I've readand through my own experiences I've justclay in a list now I think there's about10 or 15 so hopefully it won't keep youfor too long but what I would recommendis that after this show maybe if youjust make a few notes because if some ofyou are driving right now you might notbe able to recognize all of these andthen maybe just try one or two of themevery time you may feel a sense ofoverwhelm in your life okay so the firstone is meditation or just taking amoment to be still now the reason I saytaking a moment to be still is because Idon't actually meditate but I know thebenefits of it from people who domeditate but one of the things that I'vestarted to do is just try and be presentin that moment now you're probablythinking this is a little bitcounterintuitive because on one end ofthe scale I have all of these thingsthat I need to do because the world'sgonna end if I don't do them but on theother side you're telling me to justtake a breakyes I'm telling you to take a break andI'm telling you to take a break for asimple reason that you need to start tothink logically you need to startthinking with a clearhead and you're not gonna do that inthis mumbo-jumbo fashion where you'retrying to do everything all at oncebecause let's face it nobody Komoritusks our brains are wired in a way thatwe actually just switch between tasks soit's almost like a web browser where youswitching between tabs yes you can moveon to different tabs but you're going tolose a sense of flow because you'regonna have to find out where you werethe last time you were looking at thatweb page and it just doesn't work sowhat you ideally want to do is focus andyou only want to focus on one thing youonly want to focus on one thing at anyone time so anyway back to the point youwant to be still and you want to bepresent in a very quick way can do thisis literally by taking notice of exactlywhere you are so as I sit here nowrecording this I am sitting on my sofa Ihave one leg crossed and one leg on thefloor there's quite an unusual positionbut I can film my feet on the floor soit gives me that sense of touch I canfeel my forearm on my left thigh and Ican feel my lips are pretty dry as wellbecause it was a bit of a crazy weekendso what about you just done there inthat very quick moment is just makemyself present in relation to mysurroundings by doing that it reducesyour stress and your ins ie as well andit just brings your heart rate down everso little number to try and tick offsomething straight away something offyour list and this is why a lot ofpeople make the bed or they work outvery quickly in the morning where theyhave a point of water or they have theirvitamins first thing in the day and it'sactually one of the few things that I doas well so all those little things are alittle point that I do in the daybecause you kind of feel like youachieve something almost instantly soyes it might not be the highest prioritything but just taking off those fewthings certainly reduces that incrediblemonumental made up by the way and listof things in your head that you can'tphysically do in one day because let'sbe honest the list that we make in ourheadsit's almost made out to be a lot moredifficult and a lot more time-consumingthan it actually is the next one ispostpone anything that doesn't matter sothis is something that you can actuallyadopt eisenhower's urgent an importantprinciplenow again just simply google this andwhat it is it's basically four quadrantsand in those scenarios you have thefirst one being important and urgent thenext one important but not urgent thenyou have not important but urgent andthen you have not important and noturgent now obviously if you listen tothis on a podcast it's a hell of a loteasier to go and have a look at what itlooks like and the reason you want to dothis is because what you want to focuson is compiling these to-do listscompiling all these tasks that areoverwhelming you and making you feellike you need to almost do theminstantly and start to place them intheir right boxes for example somethinglike doing the Hoover in your house orspeaking to a potential lead now ifyou're an entrepreneur you start in yourbusiness in my personal opinion it's alot more important for you to go and tryand get leads as opposed to doing theHoover now you could be procrastinatingby doing the Hoover and trying to workaway from it but you really want tofocus on what are the things that moveyou forward one in terms of yourhappiness and your fulfillment but twoin terms of producing income for you sotry to this exercise it'll take you tenfifteen minutes but you can really startto understand the kind of things thatyou're placing into each differentquadrant now I will say in relation tothis is when you have something that isimportant but it's not urgent just bemindful that one day it will beconverging so if you don't do it at somestage it's gonna creep up and it's gonnacomment to that to-do list that's gonnainstantly overwhelm you so make surethat list isn't too big becauseobviously as life comes on we startadding more and more things to our lifeand then when that hits you at the sametime here comes the overwhelm next onewe have is set realistic goals I've beenvery fortunate to work with sellingpeople now who I'm now trying to coachand help them move forward in theirlives and I am all for being optimisticI'm all for grand Cardinals theory of10x and trying to be the best I'm reallytrying to put yourself out there andmake a difference not only to yourselvesbut to society but let's be honest ifyou've come from a place where you'venot made any money and then all of asudden you want to make 10 millionpounds in the next 12 months it's veryunlikely now I'm not here to say it'simpossible thethat's not really the purpose of thisshop what I'm here to say is and one ofthe things that I want to do in thisshow is to look after your well-beingand your mental and physical state so itwould be foolish of me to say yeah justlike ten million and all of a suddenyou're going to achieve 10 millionbecause the fact of the matter is unlessyou're one of the top one or two percententrepreneurs in the world it's probablygonna be very unlikely that you can beable to facilitate a business to makethat kind of money straight away but howrealistic goals have realistic goalsthat you will have maybe replace yourincome for example or you would havemade half a million pounds 1 millionpounds listen the fact of the matter isit just needs to be realistic based onyour resources your skill set the timeyou have available and the actual marketitself so make sure you have a realthing a realistic thing but the sametime do stretch yourself as well don'tgo out there and say I want to make1,000 pounds a month when really that'spretty easy especially if you work hardenough and you do the right thingsnext up lean on people and delegate andthis is a game going back to you thekind of the Hoover example that I usedso for example I don't like doing thehousework and we're already the highestweight for me it kind of stops my flowI almost get overwhelmed and stressed atthe feeling that I have to do it soinitially what I used to do was a hiresomeone I used to pay someone 8 poundsan hourshe's the common bless her heart and sheused to do all the tasks that I didn'twant to do now it was them my duty tomake sure that I was bringing in incomeor produces something that in the futurewill bring in income that would be morethan 8 pounds an hour and that isbasically leverage so for example backsix or seven years ago I was personaltraining and I was charging about thirtyfive pounds and I went solve for me itwas better for me to just go and getmyself another client Rodman's walkingaround the house for an hour trying totidy upwhereas I could just pay someone eightpounds an hour so value your time andlean on people or delegate so put onyour resources look at who's in yournetwork that you can work with and whoyou can help and not only that it helpsyou in return so number seven this ischanging your energy now it's reallythat you get used to changing energy andone of the things I preach on my fitnesschannels is about being healthy and goto the gym and stay inactive becauseenergy creates energy this might soundreally crazy but it does so have youever had those days where you're justsitting around all dayyou're not even hungover and you justbeen watching TV you've almost watchedall season of Netflix and all of asudden you just feel absolutelylethargic that's because you're notcreating any energy so in moments ofoverwhelm or when you're getting overlystressed one of the things you want todo is change your state now Tony Robbinsdoes this better than anyone and you'llsee him jumping around on the stage andI'm not necessarily saying if you're inthe workplace or you're out in publicthat you need to just start jumping upand down on the spot although that wouldbe pretty funny and if you do do it makesure you tag me in on social media whileyou're doing it but something as simpleas doing a couple of press ups doing acouple of squats taking a walk taking ajog something that will just literallymove you from where you are now createsome level of energy and just by doingthat alone it will start to relieve youof tension it will release endorphinsand it will over time start to make youfeel less overwhelmed so you probablysee me now workout twice a day and thereason I do that is because firstly Ilike to put a win in my daily diary assoon as I wake up because then I know ifshit hits the fan and it's a very verydifficult day full of obstacles andproblems I've still done something tobenefit my health and then the secondone normally comes after about lunchtimeonce I've had half of the day of workand then I just want to kind of thinkcreatively so then I go for a secondexercise session and just by doing thatone I release my stress I get to listento some music sometimes I have theoccasional podcast on but then as soonas I come back from that I'm feelingrefreshed and I'm feeling creative againand finally number eight this is whereI'm gonna leave it guys I could talkabout this for ages if you did foundthis useful and you want me to kind ofdo a part two because I've got likeanother 20 points here please do let meknowbut the final one I'm gonna go is justto remember in the grand scheme ofthings be stressed out about whatever itis whether it's doing the laundrywhether it's one deadline for example orwhether it's making sure the dishes arewashed is it really that importantnow I know obviously we're moving thestate of overwhelm is very difficult tothink logically I fully appreciate thatbut if you can just sit there maybe makeyourself present as I mentioned beforemaybe change your state as soon asyou've done that and then just sit thereand think okay I'm getting overwhelmedbecause I have X Y & Z to do and thenthink how important are these if Godforbid I wasn't able to do it bytomorrow or the day after would my lifebe over and you'll probably realize yourlife isn't gonna be over and again thisprobably comes down to all the pressuresthat you put on yourself theexpectations and it's just about beingmore mindful in the moment so hopefullyyou found this useful I again I reallydo enjoy these kind of single soloepisodes because I feel I'm able toobviously give you guys tips on whatit's actually made me bear and again thewhole premise of finding your voice isabout overcoming our adversityovercoming our pain and trying to findways to move forward to not only feelhappier more fulfilled but then be ableto give back into the world so guys asalways I do thank you so much for yourtime I thank you all for the reviewsagain we're starting to pick up somemore reviews as well if you follow me onsocial media actually that's probablythe last time I'm gonna say that todayis I am offering a free gym plan forfour weeks and have dietary advice aswell it's gonna be absolutely free Iusually charge 70 pounds for it but it'sjust going to be in relation to if youcan give us a review maybe share it onsocial media and tag me in so I know whoyou are then what I'll do is I'll getyour email address and I'll personallysend you this free diet plan so the wayI'm selling it at the minute is one yoube doing me a massive favor by helpingexpand this movement getting more peopleto follow find your voice more people tochange their lives and not becomevictims and like I said on the lastepisode start to become a victor of thelife and really take control of it butto you'll also look great naked so onthat note I'm gonna leave it there and Ihope you all have an incredible week andas always thanks for listening andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 23 "She's just a normal girl" by Kelli Doorne #23Tagline: "Even when times are tough, she still believed that kindness was her super power and that's what got her through... " - Kelli DoorneKelli Doorne, has finally found her voice, and I am the first to say YES!Kelli bravely, opens up and shares her story of how she left home in her teenage years and became homeless. Realising that she was opting to run away when things got bad during her young years, Kellis fight of flight response never saw her stand up take account and fight.But things have moved on so much because, even as a struggling teenager who couldn't find her way in life she always relied upon her Kindness and believed deep down that this would supersede all her problems and see her through. In agreement with her thoughts, we both emphasise what a better place the world would be if we could all just be kind to one another and help each other more often, because it's the right thing to do.On a final note, knowing how much courage this took from Kelli to openly come onto the podcast and share her story I want to acknowledge her for her bravery, for the work she does in Milton Keynes and wish her all the best in the future.I also would urge you all to follow her journey but just don't tag her into anything that is related to Octopus!Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kelli.doorne Have an awesome day & #JustDeuit & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the host Arenof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so firstly I just wantto begin once again by saying thank youto every single one of you who havetaken time out of your day to try andlisten to our episodes I hope you findthem inspiring and motivating and I hopethey at least add some level ofinformation or tangible actions andsteps that you can incorporate in yourlife now moving on to today's episodeagain this is somebody who I think isperfect for this show it's somebodywho's struggled to almost find her voiceand somebody who has suffered with somelevel of adversity but also in terms ofjust sharing her story up until todayshe's found her voice and alongside thatshe's also in a position now where shewants to have a positive impact onpeople who are perhaps going throughsimilar situations so this is afantastic story with Kelly who sufferedwith homelessness and quite a few otherups and downs as well in her life butmore importantly what I really lovedabout this story was how it kind ofsegwayed into human qualities and weended up speaking a lot about kindnessnow I'm not sure about you guyslistening but I personally thinkkindness is one of the number-oneattributes that we should all what weshouldn't be born with really but Isuppose some of us can perhaps learn tobe more kind but I think if you all hadthat in the back of our heads in all ourday-to-day actions I think the worldwould just be a better place so withoutfurther ado let's get this episode onits way so firstly I just want towelcome Kelly to the show today and Iwant to thank the listeners for tuninginso Kelly how are you doing today yeahgood Erin thanks thanks so muchhave me you're very welcome you're verywelcome so Kelly I'm myself actually weboth had a couple of drinks over theweekend I had in mind 48 hours beforeand you can probably still hear it in myvoice but Kelly obviously sounds muchbetter than myself so it's great to haveyou finally herewe have had to rearrange a few times allmy fault that's all right well I'm justglad that you're here today because Ithink your story is going to be veryinspiring for a lot of people and Ithink to get it started basically whatwe can do is if you wouldn't mind isjust give the listeners a little bitabout yourself a little bit about yourjourney your story and what basicallybrings you on the show find your voicetoday all right okay well first of allit's absolutely terrifies mebut the reason I'm on here today is I amusing my story of when I was homelesswhen I found myself homeless at 16 toraise awareness and money to support alocal charity that goes a long way tohelping the poverty and homelessnesssituation in Milton Kings I'm quite aprivate person really but sometimes youjust have to use what you've got inorder to get resultsso I guess my my journey starts reallyin Nigeria which is where I was born Iwas born is there be no quite a lovingfamily and but my dad was an alcoholicand we went through some some troublingtimes but the most of what I remember asa as a youngster really was my mum andher strength not not too much about mymy real dad and we I have another sisterand a brother who's disabled mum had alot on a plate and we spent a lot oftime why spend a lot of time kind ofbeing ferried about between my Nan'shouse and my mum's house and kind ofhaving two homes I guess mm-hmm so heyeah eventually mum kicked dad out forthere for the final time and we we movedquitefew miles away to be moved up to NewportPagnell which is just on the outskirtsof Milton Keynes that stage of my lifewas where it is interesting I feltreally ostracized out of place anddifferent from everybody I'd grown up inin London my mother in North London andI felt a bit rough I felt like so rougharound the edges and all my new friendshad pretty long blonde hair and therewas me with like brown spiky hair and ifelt quite different but nevertheless wekind of made it you know we made it wemade it through really my mum my sisterand I um just by keeping quite tight andbut then but then things started tochange and I don't know you know whatyour experience offers being a teenagerbut actually with the hormones andchanges and friend groups and you knowexpectations and all different stuffcomes into your life and at that point Ikind of started to break away from myfamily and my sister had moved out andshe was she was my rock my mum had a newboyfriendand soon to be married they had a newbaby and everything kind of changed forme and instead of dealing with it I at13 I found raves and I started going outraving instead right so that was reallythe point in my life where you know Istart to pay a bit too hard and a bittoo young and it was at a point when Ithink it's like 19 3 maybe a little nonot 93 sorry a little bit later when mymy sister was a couple of years old thenincident happened where I thought Ithought that I might have have reallyhurt my little sister and I and Ifreaked outand instead of once again dealing withit and talking to my familyI just ran away and I ran away from homenobody knew where I was I didn't know Ididn't quite understand it myselfand by just yeah I had to escape so Iended up sleeping in hostels under abridge one night and it was a is prettyterrifying it's pretty terrifyingWow but I don't even know to start withthat there's so many things that I wantto pull out from your story there if wejust quickly go on that a last bit thatyou mentioned so you were sleeping inhostels you were sleeping under bridgeshow long did this period lasts for wellit's our monastery no don't I can'tquite remember and it's gonna be like acouple of weeks where I was I hadliterally nothing no home no nothing Iwas surviving by as I go into the hostelthey give me a cup of tea and a biscuitin the evening I remember then I had togo and sleep in these dormitories andthey have like plastic sheets from thebed and you know I was sixteen years oldonly 16 years old and I was actually runaway from home for about six months wentback tried living at home and then ranaway again because but obviouslyostracized myself at that point quitedrastically but the period of actuallylike being entirely homeless wasprobably a few weeks my first stepsgoing to the church eating lunch is islonely so lonely Wow I mean I can onlyimagine I've heard I've heard storiesand we have been very fortunate to havehad somebody who suffered withhomelessness on this show earlier whenwe first started and it's even the wayyou described it now it almost soundshorrific I mean even at home in my owncomfort of my own home when when theheating's low you feel that straightaway so to imagine as a very youngteenager 16 year old having to cope withthat but one of the things that I foundprevalent from your story and a coupleof times you mentioned it was wheneversomething was going wrong you werealmost running away as opposed to kindof facing your fear yeah and theI want to point that out just for theaudience as well because obviously we'vespoken offline as well and you coming onthis show has has taken the immensecourage so I fully appreciate and I'mvery grateful you're sharing this storybecause I know what it's like to haveanxiety to have shyness to kind of findyour voice if we use the cliche and I'mvery grateful that you're in a positionnow obviously wiser from the experienceand everything that you've been throughto now use your voice to do the greatthings like you mentioned the localcharity that you're now working with inMilton Keynes which is fantastic becauseI'm sure that's gonna help people whomay be in a similar situation toyourselfon that note though are you finding iffor instance you went through someadversity today are you still doing thewhole fight-or-flight thing and are youable to kind of stay there and fight oryou still seeing yourself fleeing fromthe situation my my natural stay is isto walk away absolutely it is to walkaway and I sometimes that's a that's astrength sometimes you know not fightingis M is always a good thing not to fightbut at the same time sometimes whenyou're going through situations you youand especially if when you're young youneed somebody to help you face thoseproblems and I don't think I had thesupport structure around me at that timeto help me do that and learn thoseskills potentially think that though thepoint of why I want to share my storyand it's that what knife wasn't awfulfor me it really wasn't you know I wasprobably a grumpy teenager hopefully alittle bit jealous that this new fellowhad moved into my house and there was ababy and you know not the attentionwasn't on me and it sounds really daftbut you know I was a normal child Ididn't get into too much trouble or popfrom going right in I didn't get intotoo much trouble but this still happenedit was I was still on the streets and itcan happen to anyone any point in theirlife and I think it's important foreverybody to recognize that homelessnessdoesn't just happen to drug addicts youknow it doesn't happen to people thatyouyou think it happens - it happens toanybody absolutely I think you just yousaid a very important point there sowe're always one decision away frombeing the situation that you were thereso I would never see someone homelesswhether they drinking or whateverthey're doing as somebody who is adruggie or somebody who's got an alcoholproblem I would just see somebody who'sprobably just made that one bad choiceand then as a spiral has seen themselvesin that in that predicament or in thesituation so I think that's that's areally really useful point and you alsoobviously you've got the self-awarenessnow and that probably comes through lifeand experience that you're a confusedteenager you've sinned in an alcoholicfather and and all the impact thatalcohol can have on families especiallyup to that extent you've then finallymoved away from that situation only forthen your sister to leave you and thenall of a sudden your mom's found a newfellow like you said got a new baby thenall of a sudden you're kind of feelingalmost lost and like you said jealousand I think yes that's probablysomething that we'd all be lying if wesaid we never fallacy at some stage youknow Aren absolutely absolutely I meanI had my younger brother was probablynine years young again probably don'tremember the exact days but I'm surethere were moments when he's probablygetting all the attention and I'mjumping around thinking hey what aboutme what about me over here and thenagain it comes down to your circle sothe one thing I say I was very fortunatewith is my parents sent me to grammarschool not my choice but it's very rareat least growing up for myself to havegrammar school students who were goingto do crazy things on the night I I meanthe most exciting thing we ever did wasrevised for her exams or yeah absolutelyor do a bit of extra studying so Isuppose although at that time I hated itit's probably kept me from doing crazythings because I was very easilyinfluenced as a kid so I'm very veryfortunate for that but I just think it'snice of you now to be in this positionwe're obviously you've learnt a lot andyou said something else I thought wasbrilliant it was sometimes it's astrength to obviously walk away and justto counter that as well sometimes youhave to fight as well and sometimes wehave to also realize that any adversitywe get through life if we can just holdon and maybe persevere through that itbecomes a brilliant gift and it becomessomething that will make you so muchmore resilient to life because whetheryou admit it now or not is it just thosefew yearsyou've lived on the streets and theexperiences that you've overcame itmakes you such a stronger person I thinkwhen you when you look at things Ibusiness it yeah they sayfail fast so sometimes walking away isthe is the best thing you can do butsometimes you just need to stick out forthat one minute more to get the resultsthat you want and that happens in bothlife and business I'm saying I couldhave stayed at home at that point when Ithought I'd hurt my sister and faced itand I could have just stayed eat livingin a you know in a loving environment Idon't know what my life would have beenlike if I'd done that you know insteadof wandering around the streets notknowing this back in 1996 our and Ididn't know what the time was even andso yes it's been walking around thestreets at that point in my life this issilly at the same time from a selfishperspective if you had stayed in thatloving environment and not going intothis homeless world you wouldn't be onnational today to share your story andalso to kind of inspire other peoplebecause like you said there's so manyother people out there making probablythe same decisions as yourself and if wecan just make them maybe think twice ormaybe understand why they're doing itbecause as a teenager sometimes we justwe don't even know why we do the thingsthat we do so I think that's reallyimportant okay fantastic so you'vetouched on business towards the end ofthat and you said obviously this timeswhere we need to just try that one moretime or there are times where we need tomove away what's a day like for you nowobviously you know I'm hoping it's notunder bridges and it's not insurance sowhat's a day my life like I've Kelly Icould say that I'm in a lovely warmloving home again now and I have twochildren so they're both teenagers and14 and very soon to be 16 and and I'mwith my fiance and we're getting marriednext year but congratulations thanksvery much and routine for me freaks meoutI read the word routine like okay thishas me somuch as I probably do have one I try notto think about it too much I don't evenlike the fact that my diary tells mewhat to do quite stubborn that'sinteresting yeah and but I'm quitecreative I like I like making stuff up Ilike doing what I need to do at the timeand going with my feeling and so yeahthe word routine freaks me outdoes it bring out your rebellious sidefor you think no I just don't want to doit yeah I just say I don't want to dothat right now I want to do somethingelse and but I'm sure I have one I meanI always cup of coffee into first thingin the morning okay after that it's whatI need to get done rather than what Ishould know what I don't set routine formyself understood and what what do youdo for work and business now and so I doI am a marketing coach so I coach newbusinesses on marketing but I work for acouple of law firms as well on theirbrand and marketing fantastic they'll beuseful for the audience as welllistening okay brilliant so we'veobviously touched on probably yourbiggest adversity now in life in termsof confused teenager finding herselfharmless in a place where we wouldn'tprobably wish anyone to be in thatactual moment sleeping rough and notknowing where your next meal is comingfrom well not knowing what the time wasas you said what's the biggest lessonsthat you've learned in that experiencethat you can share with the audience askfor help yeah I think there's some ofthe things I didn't do I didn't know howto ask for helpI remember one days that were going intotheir hostel and I the person he wasthere the night support person turnedout to be my month Mike one of my schoolfriends mums Wow and I mean I would havethought that I would have been soembarrassed like cripplingly embarrassedbut you know whatit wasn't embarrassed I was gratefuljust to see a face that I recognized andI think if I look back on my time Icould have just said to her I need helpyou know get me back my family I need Ineed something to help meand I didn't and so at that point thenalthough you were running away from youstill wanted to come home it wasn't akind of a matter of you wanted to getaway from that situation you just he wasalmost like a cry for help would you sayyeahyeah definitely I was just I was soterrified that I'd hurt my sister atthis point of my life I didn't know forsure whether she was hurt or not itturns out that she wasn't turns out thatwhat I had going on in my head wascompletely made-up and she wasabsolutely fine but I was just so scaredthat I've done something wrong and I hadto that's why I ran away Wow and that initself is a lesson I think for everyoneand something that I've probablyexperienced more times than most is thatwe sometimes overthink things and wethink this person is thinking this othersoar this person's going through thiswhen really all we need to do isliterally ask them the question iseverything all righthaven't done something wrong and alsoowning it and I think this is somethingthat I've really kind of got to grips onduring my adult life I mean I'm nearly40 now and so just owning your problemsyes you make a mistake that's okay weall make mistakes it's like hey you knowsome mistakes are worse than others butyou've got to own it you've got to takeresponsibility for it and then you haveto either you know resolve it or moveforward you can't let your mistakes keepyou in the in the past I think that's abrilliant point yeah absolutely takeaccountability for what you have and Ithink the more accountability you cantake for your mistakes providing thatyou learn from and you don't keeprepeating the same ones it actuallygives you a sense of power and I supposepeople will look at you in a differentway you'll look at yourself in adifferent way because otherwise you'reeffectively you just passing the powerover to someone else and you're almostafraid to take that so I think that'sthat's a brilliant yes exactlythank you for sharing that okay sothings are going well for you now whichis lovely to hear you've done you've gota suit to be 16 year old and a 14-yardand you get married next year so greatnews for them and I hope everything'sokay yeah absolutely I hope everything Iwas amazing for that but I want to askyou what's your biggest fear then rightnowoctopus is right okay not expecting thatyeah really I can't look I can't standup this is I think they're way tooclever and and I think they're aliensbut if you put them aside I think it'smy children and if when my children growup I don't want them to reflect on itand say you could have done better forus and I just want to make sure thatthey're happy secure and that they areinspired that they are grounded you knowand above all I think kind kindness thatthey take kindness in through their lifeand I think that's that's my biggestfear and my biggest challenge I'm sureyou do a wonderful job on that and Ithink kindness is it's probably thenumber one thing my mom ever taught meand I'm very very grateful for that andI think I'm sure you're doing theexactly same so there's probably nothingto worry aboutbut the thing we probably should worryabout is octopus's thinking thinkingahead now you haven't booked a honeymoonhave you anywhere close to like theocean or anything no we are the weddingis going to take place right in up inthe top of the outs so we're quite niceand safe from any octopi fantastic okayI was not expecting to answer I've neverheard anyone say that have you actuallyseen octopuses on land that isn't that agood thing because I'm they can help youout in the kitchen no point taken for ittaken well at least you're in themyou said the Alps did you yeah I don'tKelly well well I was sure the best fornext year is are with that and lookingforward to follow you in your journey soyou're doing marketing now and youdefinitely sound like you're in a muchbetter place in terms of your mindsetand your ability to reflect oneverything that's going on in your lifewhat's your biggest sense of motivationand inspiration on a day to day basisother than your kids because I knowyou're gonna probably say your kids asyour first answer so let's choose adifferent answer actually I wasn't okaywhen an my name has been one of thebiggest most their biggest and mostinspiring figures in my lifeshe's not with us anymore sorry Taylorand she passed away five years agoin June by still hear her every dayevery choice I make every signs havewent up thinking about that but she wasso inspiring and the way that shehandled herself for the people hertenacity setting up businesseseverything about her was it was amazingwithout trying to put her on a pedestalshe was simply the best person I've everknownso she inspires me and motivates meevery single day that's brilliant I loveit um I was gonna say I'm very sorry tohear that brace it's a lovely messagethat you said how you still here and youtake that and I'm sure she's probablylooking down whatever you believe in interms of God spirituality or somethingbut I'm sure she's looking down as she'svery very proud eating at me going in myhead I think if she approves that thenI'm happy if I think she wouldn't not somuch it's probably a brilliant way toalmost act out your days because you'realmost thinking you would never want tolet her down and obviously you want hername to be remembered in a nice way soyour actions and everything that you doin the world I mean I know we're all ourown people but I think you're almostliving for her as well if that makessenseso yeah I think that I think that's abeautiful message okay brilliant Kellyso we are actually moving along veryquickly today and we're actually at thefun part of the show so this is the bitwhere I think you were a little bitanxious about because I'm gonna beasking you all sorts of very very easyquestions but I suppose when when thetime is on it can get a little bitoverwhelming but I'm sure you're gonnabe fine indecisive right okay so I takethat back then we might have a bit of astruggle here but let's see how we getonwe're gonna do probably 60 to 90 secondsof just very well I was gonna say easybut let's see how it goes are you readyyeah brilliant okay we're gonna go inthreeone okay what did you eat for breakfastI haven't eaten today if you couldrelive one day again what day would itbe Oh crikey that's a hard one and AH Ihave two children that's really tough Ithink the first time I ever helped my mybaby in my arms I would relive that dayagain the first time I ever helped mybaby and I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisable is sneaky but I think like butI think I'd like the feeling of flyingsome swaying who do you admire most inthe world it's still mine own money orfame and money your proudest moment Idon't know I don't know I can I pass Ijust don't know if we can do a few yeahokay your favorite food my favorite foodis cheese choice okayspeak or languages or be able to speakto animals how can you choose likelanguages I guess languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it be and Trump good answer okaywhat song best describes your lifewhat song surprised me hey hi oh I don'tknow titlesI could probably hum it you're welcometo sing it if you want I can't think ofone more pass if you had an extra hour aday how would you spend it on the sofawith my fellow Netflix or YouTubeNetflix your favorite TV show everfriends there's a pretty consistent Iwas gonna say yeah I think that's themost popular answer I've had okay wouldyou rather not how you will die or whenyou were die how your worst fear is achild probably octopuses they still keepcoming back okay what is your biggestaddiction your favorite place in theworld I would I would say at home withmy family but I also have a particularfondness for Byron Bay in Australia Ilove it that place was amazingokay read minds or predict the futureread minds your favorite superherosecond oh my god this is named Owen mannamed Ironman for sure good choice andfinally your biggest strength kindnesslove it love it see that was it too hardactually bless you actually you're thefirst person to have a pass on an answerthough but yeah don't worry thebeautiful thing with podcasting is Ican't edit it out by a flight flightyeah absolutely you walked away it'sfineokay brilliant so Kelly the next thing Iwant to ask you actually then is it'sabout reflection so as we've spokenabout briefly the beginning of thisepisode I saw some wonderful thing andit can teach us a lot it can teach ushow to get to places quicker easier orwith less heartache but I'm a firm firmbeliever that the journey also teachesus a lot and sometimes we have to gothrough these circumstances and thetrials and tribulationsso knowing exactly what you know nowwith all of your knowledge andexperience if you could go back andwe're going to take you back now to yourteenage years which i think is relevantto this story knowing exactly what youknow now what would you whisper in theears of a young Kelly I think be braveand be brave and be brave and posturewhich was I'm looking for tackle yourproblems like deal yeah deal with yourproblems don't run away from them I lovethat that's fine is that a kind of amessage as well that you'd always tryand teach or your kids as well yeah Idon't know how successful I am in doingthat okay thank you parenting is anexperiment in parenting so firstlywhatever works and secondly I've got noidea how they're going to turn out sowhen they're about 25 ask me thatquestion again and we'll see if it worksokay fantastic we'll get you back on theshow brilliant okay so suddenly thatactually brings us to the last questionof the day and the last question arealways ask my guest it's about legacy soif in a 150 years time science fails tosave us all and all that exists is abook and this book is aboutKelly and it tells us all the weird andwonderful things that you've done inlife all the things you've achieved andall your ups and downs firstly whatwould the title of the book be andsecondly what would the blurb at theback tell us about Kelly so it's a hardone I've been thinking about this but atthe same time I remember having aconversation with my best friend a fewyears ago and about this particulartopic and I think that my book would becalled she's just a normal girl becauseeven though I've gone through quite alot in my time when I the stories that Icould tell you about being homelesswould be would be quite shocking and thepeople that I've met and on the way thethe trouble that I could have got intothe trouble I did get into all of thatbut I'm just just a normal girl likethere is no different to me than anyoneelse so I think that would be the titleshe's just a normal girl and withregards to the blurb on the back um Iwould hope the people that read my storyand would say that even though even whentimes are tough she still believed thatkindness was her superpower and that'swhat got her through I love that I loveit I think spreading kindness isprobably probably the best thing we canall teach each other and we could alllearn from absolutely I mean just bejust being kind I actually wrote a postfunnily enough about three hours ago onFacebook and it was it was one of myfirst few things I wrote in therebecause it costs nothing to be kind andthere's actually a few influences nowthere who actually using the wholekindness thing as a sort of as like abuzz word but really shouldn't just besomething that's installed in all of asudden Wow from day one yeah I wish I'dwritten my LinkedIn profile buyeractually goes through all of my corevalues so independents adventurecuriosity connection strength and growthand and then at the end of it it sayswell what about kindness and the waythat I address is is it should just comeas standard absolutely it shouldn't haveto be someone's core value it shouldactually just be live that's what weshould do we shouldn't have to learn ityes it's funny but I don't know Isuppose we're also in a society wherewe're almost firefighting on a dailybasis and where there's people competingwith each other there's a lot ofjealousy there's a lot of scarcitymindset that I tend to find as wellespecially when I started my lotentrepreneurial journeys and went intodifferent fields and it's only recentlynow started to get myself a very goodnetwork of people who just want the bestfor you and when you start living inabundance and realizing that the morepeople you can connect with the morepeople you can help and more people youcan be kind to you just you just spreadsomething that's infectious and andbeing now wanting it back I think theodds of doing without receiving is youknow people need to learn that a lotmore give without wanting to receiveabsolutely without expectationshopefully agree it's funny you just saidthat as well because I I was meeting adevelop and I'm going off on a bit of atangent here but we were speaking aboutthis and I was saying that's kind of myphilosophy is the way again I say againmy mom's always taught me just give butnever expect nothing back because oneyou probably be disappointed but to youknow give if you're giving someonesomething you're giving it them becausemaybe they're not in a position tonecessarily help you back so it's almostsilly to expect them to be able to helpyou back if that makes senseso when you give something and you tryand be kind you try and lift somebody upjust do that and just just be nice aboutit but don't expect them to help youwhen they can barely help themselves ifthat kind of makes sense and I've alwaysjust seen it that way so I've been veryfortunate people now start to help me upin my business and at the same time I'dalways try and reciprocate that withother people as well so I think I thinkKelly that's a beautiful message and onthat actually I'd love it if you couldnot only share your LinkedIn profile forthe guests but also where else you'dfeel comfortable with people reachingout to you if you wouldn't mind maybeafter this show because I think you'remore than just a normal person how youdescribed yourself on the front of thebook it's it's been a lovelyconversation with you I'm glad you'realmost finding your voice and I know wespoke about this previously on Facebookvery briefly and it's got a lot to teachpeople you've got a lot that they canlearn from you and I just think you thishas been a lovely chat so I reallyappreciate you for that and I'd love topour all your reachable social mediaoutlets onto my show notes if that'swhatyeah that'd be fine these if isn'tbusiness the one place that I would likepeople to go to is a Facebook group okayso it's called one-man brand but thepoint of it is and isn't just about youknow having my group it's about having ahive mind so it's about bringing yourskills and your expertise and helpingother people within the group so ifyou're an accountant what whatinformation can you give to other peoplethat was going to help them and showthat you're an expert in your field aswell so that's that's what I'm trying toachieve so anyone in that relation cango there fantastic I think that'sbrilliant I think that's something thatliterally every single person listeningto can probably join on to because wehave to acknowledge it but we allprobably Excel in certain areas morethan others and I think it's aboutrecognizing that so I think that'sbrilliant the hive mind thing are youhappy with people contacting you onFacebook or should we just keep it tothe Facebook group for now yeah I'm openI network and speak to anyone that wantsto anyone that wants to speak back yeahbrilliantagain I'll run and just thank you onemore time for coming on for overcomingyour fears it's been fantastic to hearabout your stories been very inspiringas well and also I want to thank thelisteners at home thanks for listeningthanks and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 21 "Using exercise to help your Mental Health" Michael Hayes #22Tagline: "What's for you, won't pass you" - Michael HayesMichael Hayes, is one of the most positive, infectious people I have been fortunate enough to have connected with during my time as a Podcaster. A genuine individual who focuses in his own time on promoting positive links between mental health and exercise and whilst spreading authentic, honest and tangible messages through his social media platforms.Michael does not do this for any monetary reasons, but since seeing those close to him suffer with mental health he made a choice to use his expertise in health and fitness and promote a positive link of enhancing not just your physical well-being through exercise but also improving your overall mental health.Our first Irish/Aussie on the show who proves that real messages and honest advice is the same across the world and if you want to ensure you get genuine advice his story is definitely worth following. Michael also admits to having suffered little adversity in his life although when you finish this episode you would probably agree that even if he was, or had, he would not have seen it as a burden or adversity and likely just smiled his way through it.All the links to follow Michael's journey are below and a final note before you go check that out, which I think is worth mentioning and came from his mother is: "What's for you, won't pass you".I urge you all to follow his journey and support him on making a positive difference in the world of fitness and mental health.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mentalhealthfitnesscoach/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentalhealthfitnesscoach/ RU Okay: https://instagram.com/ruokday?igshid=r9o8sro81bv3Have an awesome day & #JustDeuit & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I am delighted to beable to bring to you today Michael Hayesotherwise known as the mental healthfitness coach now Michael is irish-bornbut now living over in Australia andwhat he has done is he's taken a passionof his ie personal training but he'slinked it very very closely to somethingthat we can all relate to mental healthnow the way he links mental health andfitness is fantastic and it's probablynot what you're gonna expect especiallyfrom somebody who now operates onInstagram not quite the influencer thathe will be one day but Michael'smessages are incredible and I certainlyurge you after this episode to engagewith Michael and follow him on hisjourney because alongside he's workedwith mental health and exercise Michaelis also just a very very positive personin fact he's probably the most positiveperson I've had on the show and I saythat after interviewing so manyincredible guess he's infectious he'sgot a great aura about him and all he'strying to do is make you guys feelbetter both physically and mentally so Ithink without further ado let's jumpstraight into this interview okayfirstly I'd like to start by welcomingMichael Hayes to today's show and I wantto thank Michael for taking time out ofhis day to come on and share his storyand secondly Michael I just want to knowhow are you doing today my friend yesreally good yeah just back from work sosettling in for the night now how aboutyou how's your day been yeah my day hasbeen good so it's early more I say earlymorning is 10 o'clock here so my day iskind of startingfor anyone listening you can probablytell from Michaels voice straight awaythat he's not got this amazing Brummieaccent that I have he's actually fromAustralia so it's our first Australianguest on the show so again I'm verygrateful for thatI think to get this started Michael ifyou wouldn't mind if you can just kindof tell our audience a little bit aboutyourself a little bit about your storybecause hopefully that way you'll givethem an insight in relation to yourselfand also give them an understanding asto why I reached out to get you onto ashow yeah absolutely and I'll just startoff by saying that I'm actually Irish soI've I've been in Australia for the lastseven years so I'm after getting a bitof a twang since I moved here so I likeit I get some serious grief up everyonefrom home when when they hear just whatanyway yesyeah I've been living in Australia thelast 7 years so I guess I run a anInstagram page and a Facebook campaigntype thing called mental health fitnesscoach so I'm pretty much peachy turnedinto just someone that's trying to getpeople to exercise for for all the rightreasons I guess so for your your mentalhealth is sleep for your mood to reducestress and to not look at it from youknow I want to get a six-pack or I wantto you know the quickest way to lookgood on the beach or things like thatjust getting people to take a step backand say you know this is more there'smore to exercise and to and to fitnessand just how you look or you know thematerial things it's there's a lot moreto it a lot more deeper things thatpeople should be focusing on thatunfortunately in this day and age theydon't tend to be so that's where where Iam and that all came about for me I wastrue my work I was doing this 30 days ofexercise and for 30 minutes for 30 daysof exercise for your improved mentalhealth and through that process I wasdoing just my own Instagram post andputting things up this was before thetime of mental health fitness coach so Iwas just posting things off about my own30 minutes of exercise each day andputting little snippets up about thebenefits of exercise your mental healthand putting some bits up also aboutencouraging conversations around mentalhealth and through that 30 days I gotlots of feedback frommy own friends and some really closefriends as well as my family and some ofmy immediate family about strugglesthey've had with mental health and thiswas things that I had never known so itwas a big wake-up call and surprise tome at the time when you know I wasputting these things I would thinking ohyeah you know it's it's great for peopleto exercise remember heads but meantimeI was going on not realizing that a lotof people close to me had suffered orwere suffering with their with theirmental health so that was at thebeginning of it all for me you know itwas a real big eye-opener and from thereI just kind of thought at the time I wasa PT and looking after a gym and kind ofI look I'm in a good position here wheresome people look to me for that fitnessadvice and I'm sorry my former top looksat me for that fitness advice and thisis a time where you know I'm a personthat yeah that people look to and I'lljust put that positive message out so Istarted to mental health fitness coachand it was all about just exercising forthe right reasons and it's about threeyears ago now and you know back then thethe fifties and all those things wereyou know at the big thing now it's bootybends and all that and you know it'sjust it's just not the reason thatpeople need to be exercising like youknow it just just do it for it foryourself and for your mood and yourrelationships that's that's the bigmessage that I try to just send out topeople and I've been doing that now forthe last yeah coming on three years nowa mental health fitness coach and it'snot really anything that I'm doing for agood monetary sense it's just trying toget that that message out there and sofar I think of impacted quite a fewpeople just through my own post if I canhave a positive impact on a few peopleand that's great and if it means someonegoes out and does it hurt him in a walkevery day where they wouldn't have doneanything before and that that helpstheir their daily life then you knowthat's fantastic and that's kind of whatI'm hoping to achieve through all ofthis that's fantastic mate so we'refirst I just want to acknowledge you forthat as well because I think it's anincredible thing that you're doingyou're encouraging people to exercisefor the right reasons so I was a fellowPT I similar to yourself I share thesameviews that we shouldn't necessarilyexercise for that six-pack or how wethink we should look I the Instagrammodel life and it is again it's my kindof way of releasing my tensionsthroughout the day it helps with mentalhealth myself so I think I love thatmessage about it but I also love andwhat you touched on is that you'vemanaged to encourage conversationbetween your friends and family who havesuffered with this mental health intheir own personal lives and I thinkthat's that's a testament one toyourself that people can obviously comeout and speak to you and feel openlycomfortable about that but I think it'ssomething that as a society across theworld in Australia England wherever weareis that we need to encourage thatconversation about mental health and Ijust think that's a fantastic thing andthis is one of the actual reasons that Ireached out to you specifically I seenyour messages and I just thought thiswould be like a really good person tocome on and the fact that you don't dothis for the monetary sense it is togive back it is to get value I really dourge my listeners at the end of the showto jump on your Instagram page and seethe messages that you're having on thatno I just wanted to ask a bit of apersonal question if you wouldn't mindas well is Michael have you sufferedyourself from depression or are yousimply doing this because you see thevalue in helping other people around youyeah good question no I haven't and I'mone of the lucky people who yeah I'venever had any any issue really with anymental health whether it be depressionanxiety mood swingsanything at all so I've been I supposequite privileged in that sense andthat's where I'm a really reallypositive person and always have been andany because of that when I did this 30days of exercise for 30 minutes for 30days and I got all this feedback for myfriends and family that was when Ithought oh shit like you know I'm livingthis this great life thinking it's allgood and you know I've always reallyjust exercised for myself and in my ownmental health how I'm feeling but all ofa sudden I was like this is actually outthere it's real and you know people aresuffering cos I've gone through my lifethinking you know everything's great youknow everyone's happy yeah nobody's okayjust like uber positive almost at apoint where I was unable to see thatthis could behappening in other people because Isuppose my own positivity blinded me towhat might be happening to others andand I would always I would always lookto the well neither no they must be finethat they I'm sure they'll be okay andtell myself the good happy story but andyeah it's really just the last few yearssince I started this and moved toAustralia and I've really started tonotice this and you know thank God I'venoticed they could you know now I I'mmuch more conscious of my own mentalhealth so when I do go through any modesor anything like that I understandwhat's going on and yeah so no luckilyfor me I've never never been impacted byany mental health things fantastic andhopefully continues that way and youjust said yeah thank God that younoticed it and I think definitely thankGod or whatever you believe in that youhave noticed it because now you're in aposition where you're able to helppeople learn almost lift them out ofthis very dark space and I say very darkspace because my mom suffered withchronic depression for the best part ofthe last eight years and prior to thatagain probably similar tell you when youfirst started I didn't understand mentalhealth it was like what have you got tobe sad about got this to look forward toit was only recently over the last eightyears I've really kind of tried tounderstand men to help myself and it'sfunny that you're almost doing what Iwish I had the time to do which islinking one of my passions which isfitness and the other one which is Ihold very close to my heart mentalhealth because obviously it's affectingmy mom and you link in the two togetherso that's kind of why I resonate towardsyour story a lot because I'm like inanother life if I had a bit moreflexibility and a bit more time and mayif I could live in Australia as wellthat would be an added bonus I wouldliterally be doing the same kind ofthings as you so I want to ask just onsomething else that you touched on thereif you wouldn't mind yeah you've alwaysbeen this happy positive person nowbefore we've had this show we spoke forthe best part of a minute and within asecond of seeing your face on on skypeyou were you were smiling you were happyand I was like this is gonna be a goodinterview I knew straight away becauseyou were good vibes off almost instantlywhat are the careers and stuff have youdone throughout life or what do youthink is the reason that you've alwaysjust been happy or is it just literallyyour mindset has just been programmedthat way I reckon yeah it's just mysaid and it's yeah it's just the wayI've always been you know I hadextremely good parents and a reallygreat family there's five kids in ourfamily and you know I'm the youngest soI was always supported and you knowshowing Sean the right road and yeah Iguess it's just how I've always beenlike I don't know any other way than toput a smile on and have a chat to peoplethat I don't know and you know ifthere's a top conversation that's neededto be had with like say my staff orsomeone's going through a hard time likeI'm always happy to get in and and notthings I would people but yeah I thinkit's just the way I've always been itit's not any one particular thing thathappened that you know maybe thispositive person it's just yeah lucky forme I had a really good upbringing andit's just the way I've been that'sfantastic man and long may it continuebecause the world could definitelybenefit from more people like yourselfjust to kind of spread a bit of sunshineso yeah that's also to hear okay sowhat's a general day-to-day life likeover there in Australia for yourselfyeah and I'm the same as you I lovehabits and I think the biggest thing ofme is just trying to be consistentaround the good things that I do so andI suppose I might actually answer it ona week-to-weekthat's all right yeah absolutely themore relevant to what I do and so reallylike usually on a on a Sunday orSaturday our leader have a mental thinkabout what's going to happen in the weekafter and I've got a spreadsheet thatI've been working off now for the lastyear and a half where I scheduled mytraining for the next week and so I knowexactly what I'm gonna doMonday true to Sunday but one of thethings that I found really good formyself to keep myself consistent with myexercise and I'm a runner so I love torun and so one of the things that I didwanted a very very first thing that Idid was started pack run and I know youguys have Perricone you know the weeklyx 5 kilometer runs yeah so that was thatwas one of the first things that Istarted to do me My partner and fianceknow we started doing Park run and forme I know every Saturday at 8 a.m. onthat pack run and I'm running and that'sthat's what I'm doing I thinkthat's a tenner 11 over in the in the UKand I was like a little bit sleepincreate a in there but for me I know thatthat's what that day is so I've tried tobuild my my exercise and my runningaround just habit and consistency soSaturday is always packed on Tuesday Irun with a run Club in in part and W acalled frontrunner sports performanceand I do a Tuesday 6:00 a.m. everysingle week with those guys and then Ido what R is a fight in every singleweek with those guys so I kind of knowlike whatever happens in life unlesssomething goes completely pear-shapedTuesday Thursday Saturday I'm runningand that's what I'm going to do sothat's one of the things that has helpedme get that consistency for probably thelast almost going on a year and a halfnow probably but running in the lastyear with the front runner guys onTuesday and Thursday and and obviouslymassive improvement in my running fromthat and I'm not a person that you'dlook at that would say yeah he'd be okat running but because of the habit thatI have of doing it every week I've justgotten a little bit better every singlemonth throughout the last couple ofyears and now I'm a decent runnerwhereas people would look at me and gooh he he can't run that faster he can'tdo that or a lot of people always getthe question you know how have youimproved so much it's literally it'sconsistency like I started to go in oncea week to Peregrine's and that's whatprobably did that for three or fourmonths it was just once a week and thenthink I sure would choose to era winsthey ran them session in there and thenit became that the Tuesday Thursday andthey're just ingrained in my daily or myweekly routines now and so that's a bigthing for me as part of every week andthen the rest of the week from a monthat Friday I'm full-time job on my healthand fitness coordinator for localgovernments in parts so and that's whatmy general nine-to-five so I look afterthe gym and our group fitness programsin our community classes and I actuallylove that and one of the very very verylucky people that can say I actuallyenjoy money learning and getting up andgoing to work and there'syou know obviously everyone get sick atwork at time from time to time butthere's very occasions that I'm actuallynot happy to go to work or be at work soand that's my job and through the weekand the rest of the week is family myfiance and the dogs and that's that'sher yeah that's brilliant man I supposeyou've almost found what many of us aretrying to find and you know we alwayshear people getting sad on a Sundayevening and they got work in the morningand you've almost kind of found your wayso it's nice to see that you're havingthat and you also touched on somebrilliant points again which was it'sall about consistency and one of thethings I always say is obviously we ourresort of our habits so I think thatgoing back to your 30 minutes a daythere I mean it's a day in the grandscheme of things I thinking we'reexcited to like two percent a day if wecan just get people to do that as a sortof habit initially and then if it hasthe effects of improving your mentalhealth on a long-term scale I thinkwe're on to a winner so on that pointalone have you got access to a sort of30 day plan or is it's just somethingthat people would need to kind of goback into your Instagram and follow intomy Instagram and follow and you know Idon't have any 30-day plans or anywherethat I suppose that the main thing forme with people and I've had with the gymthat I work at I've had many manyinteractions with people about you knowwhat are they going to do to getthemselves fit and healthy and I wentthrough a period of weight gain where Ididn't realize I was gaining weight butI got up to like 115 or 16 kilos butover the last three or four years sinceI started running I'm back down to 90 soI've had a big weight loss and periodand a lot of people asking me about youknow what should they do and you knowwhat exercises should they do for forthis muscle and you know should I begoing how many times a week should I begoing to the gym and how many reps did Ido and how many said should I do thisexercise and I always say to people andeven when people come to a gym like doyou enjoy going to the gym and if theanswer is yes then it's like yeah yeahokay in you go it doesn't matter whatyou do pick exercises you like thick repranges you like it accept ranges youlike and do thatbecause you're only going to beconsistent at the things you like and ifsomeone comes into our gym and says ohyou know I actually quite like workingout in groups send them straight togroup fitness like if someone came intomy gym and said I hate gymsI hate group fitness classes I'd sendthem straight back out the door and tellthem do something else because there'sno point in them coming towards to dosomething that they're not going toenjoy and they're not going to sayconsistent that because you know youcan't sign up for a gym or an exerciseprogram or sports team if that's notsomething that you actually enjoy likeanyone who wants to get fish you need todo something that you enjoy and that youcan keep doing for me it's running andoccasionally lifting weights so I dolots of running and a fair amount ofweightlifting and that's what I lovedoing and so for for people like youknow if you're looking for a 30 day planor whatever it might be that are lookingfor they need to just look intothemselves and go what I like to andI'll you know we live done living inAustralia so there's lots of outdooractivities you can do so someone lovesstand-up paddleboarding or golfing orgardening or whatever it is you know sothat wasn't it that and see that and youknow make the most of that becausewhether or not it's 2 percent to yourday or however long of your day it isthat you're doing this exercise for youwant to be doing something that youenjoy and yeah it's there's too manypeople and this especially with gyms andgroup fitness classes and things likethatthey do it because other people do itnot because it's something that theywant to do they see someone else gettingresults doing that exercise or they godforbid they go on Instagram and they seethe top six exercises to get awesome adsand they do those exercises and realizethat they haven't been it's really abouthaving a thing to yourself of what do Ienjoy doing and if you don't know whatthat is just go and try a few things goto the gym go to an outdoor class join asports team join a join a running clubyou know try things out and whicheverone it is that you you think you enjoythat's what you'll be consistent at sogo do that Michael I love that answer sotwo things I want to point out firstlythis is why I want people to follow yourpage twolearn from yourself and all these littlenuggets that you just thrown in therebut another reason that actually lovethe answer is because you're confirmingeverything I've been preaching myselffor the last time right so mainlybecause you agree with me because I havefour pillars that I always say are mysword when I work with my clients Iwould say if we can add a to these fourpillars and they are enjoymentsustainability consistency and hard workand I think as long as you have amixture of all of those so the enjoymentside which is literally exactly what youexplained so I think that's a reallyreally important point you said theirconsistency we've already touched onsustainability again if your enjoymentand consistency are on point it's goingto be sustainable if they're gonna keepit goingand obviously I think there is anelement that people think they don'thave to work hard and you touched ontheir this the ABS exercises get abs inthree weeks by doing this it doesn'treally work like that because there's abit more science that goes behind it butgreat answer mate and again I'mconsistently plugging your channelbecause it would be nice to get theaudience to see it from a differentperspective somebody on the other sideof the world almost doing the exact samething and making such a positiveinfluence so I appreciate that answer methank you yesokay so the next question is are yougonna be quite an interesting onebecause a very happy positive person butwhat I want to touch on is adversity andI use adversity in all of my episodesbecause I want people to look at thingsor change the perception of things andjust know that whatever situation you'regoing through however difficult you mayfeel it is in that particular time isthere's always a way out of it if you'rewilling to persevere through it so I'mhoping you've been through someadversity and I mean that in the kindestway possible me because I'm not smilingnow on the other side of it but couldyou maybe take us back to a time wherethings were going as well as you maybehoped or you went through some adversityand how you overcame that and thenfinally the lessons that you learnedfrom that if you wouldn't mind yeahabsolutely and yeah I haven't gonethrough a massive amount of adversity inmy life would that's it I you know I'vehad plenty of tougher harder times thatI've had to go it was the one for methatso tis so obviously I'm living inAustralia I'm came here from lard and soabout three years into when I was here Iwas am working in a job and this job wasgoing to sponsor me to stay in thecountry and just before my sponsorshipwent through I reckon two weeks beforemy sponsorship was all gonna go true andeverything was going to be sweet orCenter closed down and yes so thesponsorship went out the window prettyquick unfortunately was not sure anyfault of the employer that's the waythings went down so and yeah just justwhen I thought I was yeah I'm said I'mgonna be in Australia nothing to worryaboutgot my sponsorship that'll get me my PRwe're good to goeverything kind of just set out out ofnowhere literally out of noise but Ihonestly don't look back now on thattime as a time of adversity or a timewhere I was under massive stress becausefor me at the time I was just alrightwell this has happened no matter what Ido I can't really change the outcome ofwhat's happened to and to the centerit's that's just the way it is so thethe first thing that I was doing waslooking for I would I need a job so Iwent and saw myself some work and I wentback to construction work and that wasfine and and then it was just playingthe waiting game to see when when thisCenter was going to get back opened upsee if that sponsorship was still on thecarriage and and I've had a think Ithink I had four months until I had togo home legally the contrary so yeah andI it was it was going to be a little bitmore time until they got the centre openand they had some roof issues that theyhad to sort out so there was a lot ofconstruction to go on and like just buttrue luck that whole period I just kindof kept on to them and said you knowwhen can I get back in is it going tohappen isn't it going to happen andthere for a while there wasn't a wholelot of talk backwards and forwards so Ijust kept doing my construction stuffaway and and eventually I got back intowork and I got this I got sponsored bushI suppose the big thing for me throughthat wholetime was well look if I get sent home Iget sent home and that's just the wayit's gonna be in and I always had in theback of my mind that it's going to sortitself out one way or another whetherit's through work or whether somethingelse comes up or you know whether I getit I think there was the option of apartner a partner visa with my partnerat the time so you know there there wasoptions there and I kinda just didn'tlet myself get too stressed to thecensus you know I was worrying about itall the time and just kind of got onwith things as best I could and andluckily it all worked out and yeah I'mjust I'm still here now but it was yeahI just kind of keep it that positiveattitude towards this and then yeah itworked out in the end but uh I think agood a good quote and I'm gonna call mymom of all people in the world yeah forthis was a sudden my mom sold me heapsof times Trudy years Witter is going fora job or it's going to interviews oranything that I'm racing or whatever Iwas doing she'd always say what's foryou won't pass you so you know if atthat time if it if it was for me to stayin Oz and you know to go on to be whereI am now then that's what it was goingto be if that's not what how it was timeto work out then something else will popup that would be you know just as goodor betterso really it's you know anytime we do ajob interview or anything like that orespecially if I don't get a jobI always think well that clearly wasn'tfor me so if it was I would have got itkind of yeah on to the next thingthat's fantastic me then it's funny yousaid that quote and I resonated withthis straightaway because my nan so shedoesn't speak English but she speaksPunjabi but these direct words that yourmom says she says the same quote soshe's a very religious person and she'salways had that philosophy sure butactually she's starting to remind me alittle bit of yourself and I mean thatwith utmost respect because she's alwayssmiling she's always happy and she'sbeen through a hell of a lot ofadversity in life but she's alwayssaying you know whatever's meant to beis meant to be if you meant to havesomething come in your life will happenif you're not you're not so I thinkthat's a brilliant way and it's probablywhatkept her going so long so very wisewords from my cause mom so appreciatethat me do you have that do you havethat quote in your grandma's words Iyou're testing my Punjabi haha yeah yeahmaybe one for our line may I try and getyou a translation I don't wannaembarrass myself live online yeah yeahhuge you won't be too happy with mypronunciation but yeah if it is exactlythe same but I think that's brilliant Ithink it's a testament to the way thatyou think always got that positiveoutlet you're always looking at thingsas in just the way that I wisheverybody's in it rather then me if I'mcompletely honest five years ago wouldhave seen that as oh my god the wholeworld's falling down I'm so close to getmy sponsorship it's almost falling theirminds I would go through the rephraseyou're just kind of got that in the backof your head so consciously you'rethinking it's all gonna work out and I'mreally glad it has so in this currentsituation now things are going well foryou what scares you in life do you haveany fears and do I have any serious it'sa good question and I don't think I dolike you know I if anything I'll worryabout other people more than I worryabout myself so I'd you know I kind ofwant to make sure that I was good withwith my close mates and my fiance and myfamily and you know some of my sistersare pregnant at the moment so you knowit's the only things I worry about herare all those guys and you know checkingin and then to make sure everything'sgoing okay but now personally for myselfI don't really uh kind of hold strongsimilansmums advice of you know if it's for youwon't pass you and kind of keep keeppushing forward and yeah if that's agood answerno not absolutely my absolutelydefinitely so are you telling me you'renot scared of all the again I'm speakingas a Brit here we hear all the storiesof the snakes and the spiders inAustraliadoes anything like that ever scare youor ever hear of a red back a red backspider not very little that littlespiders with a red back they're prettyfierce looking they're they're smallsmall little things we get lots ofaround my house we get tons of them sothere's lots of and he has brain sprayred backs around here but no of my hairfunny the way my brother-in-law was isscared and worried about coming overhere and sitting on a toilet boner andwater being underneath it when he catchyou for the yeah look lovely that's themit's pretty unlikely and I've never comeacross too many snakes any more a rod Iguess if I was to say one thing Isuppose on on fear and it's not reallyfear for me but it's just for again forother people it's the current age ofsocial media and the influence thatsocial media influencers have you knowso many people are drawn in by theseinfluencers and you know they take whatthey're saying for fur gospel almost andyou know they they you have peoplebuying these fit tees and you havepeople buying to these 30 day programsand all these detoxes and you knowthere's lots of people that are preyingon people's fears and emotions andgetting to sign up to these programs andto be honest it's a real big issue andit's what is one of the main reasons asI said in my page was just to have analternative option of the the quickfixes and things like this becausethere's so many people that andespecially at our gym and and you knowfriends of mine and I see other peopleputting things up like everyone thinksthat these things work and that there'syou know there's something to it pushesyou know a quick quick thing gonna soferrets it's it's a worry the thecurrent state of the fitness industryonline you know that I think the fitnessindustry in Australia on the groundlevel is really good and really positiveand there's lots of people doing greatthings but the the online influence ofpeople who have no experience in healthand fitness is yeah extremely worryinghopefully with people like you andthings that I'm doing you know it yeahthe common sense approach will will winout in the endabsolutely may I think you just hitsomething that again I resonate with isfind it so annoying that theseinfluences are in a position where theyhave so much impact and they're justbeen unethical and they're not beingauthentic in their message and they'reselling these cookie cut programs orthey're saying you can look like me ifyou do this in six months and I'mlooking at him and I'm like you'reobviously on something that's notnatural for example you've been doingthis for 15 years and you're just tryingto almost manipulate people and tobelieve in it and it's not just thefitness industry to be honest so I'minvolved as a property investor as afull-time occupation and even withinthat there is a massive massive marketof people and the shame is is that theyhave so much influence who prey onpeople who are in an almost like adesperation phase and when you'redesperate you're almost clinging on toanything and it's just reassuring toknow that there are people likeyourselves out there who have thisamazing energy about you and you justhonest and authentic and this is areason I do my show it's to give peoplea voice who aren't influences who Igenuinely believe can make a positiveimpact on the world because I genuinelybelieve if my audience however smalleris or however big it grows follows youthey're gonna get authentic informationinformation that and I don't mean thisbecause I say similar stuff I mean it isbecause we understand the basics behindit and it's nice that you're trying tomake an impressive but it's funny isn'tit because on one end we're looking atthese influences and thinking that theway Instagram and Facebook and stuff isit's it's almost damaging to people'sself-esteem Ament to half but at thesame time we also need it to preach ourmessage and to get our voice heard totry and help people absolutely so yeahyeah it's a funny one so what is yourmotivation then moving forward for yourbusiness is it to enhance your voice toget out there to impact more lives or doyou have another underlying motivationbehind the word that you do yeah look Ijust want to keep doing what I'm doingyou know every one person that I thoughtI impact positively is you know it's forme that's that's the ultimate goal isjust to have a small little impact onpeople's lives whether it's someonestarts doing it you know a tiny bit ofexercise that they've never done beforeor whether it's someone else has a chatthat I made about the mental health whothey think isn't doing so well you knowI just want to keep pushing the messageout there andas far as I'd like to get a little bitmore active on social media given yourfull time job and this is just somethingI do on the side I'm probably not asactive or putting out as good a contentas I'd like to at the moment but I justwant to keep keep growing the theaudience and make sure that the messageis reaching as many people as we can andyou know maybe one day start podcastingor doing something similar to whatyou're in here and chatting to peopleabout their own experience of mentalhealth and Howard are our onlyexperienced mental health exercises haspositively impacted that and which yeahfor now it's kind of keep going as we'regoing yeah absolutelyI think you'd be an amazing advocate forboth mental health and fitness so if youdo get the time and capacity later onabsolutely doing if I can help in anyway in terms of like setting up apodcast or anything please do reach outand I'll try my best to help you buddynot a problem that a stress so we'reactually at the the fun part of the shownow this is the part where I'm gonna askMichael all sorts of weird and wonderfulquestions let me know when you're readyand we're gonna hit the time wrap thenwe're gonna get started it's not okaywe're gonna go in three two oneokay Michael what did you eat forbreakfast nothing if you could reallylive one day again what day would it beoh the day I met my partner the abilityto fly or be invisible invisible who doyou admire most in the world and oh godthat's good question I've no ideado I admire most in the world oh geez mymom I love it when your fame mmm moneyyour proudest momentdropping on one knee your favorite foodhates it speak or languages will be ableto speak to animals or speak to animals100% if you could abolish one thing inthe world what would it beoppression what some best describes yourlife there is a song that I can't thinkof it don't worry be happy whatever thatsong got made that is a hundred percentyouokay if you had an extra hour a day howwould you spend it with my partnerNetflix or YouTube Netflix yournumber-one goal this year have apositive impact if you could sit withone person in the world for an hour whowould it berock your worst fear as a child these asbeing too tall I'm 6 4 but I've beenthink forces I was around 6 Wow okaywhat is your biggest addiction Netflixand finally buddy read minds or predictthe future read - love it ok that's theend of the quickfire round so we got toknow especially when you've got like notime to think as well so I was justinterested yes it but yeah some goodchoices there everyone loves pizza and Ithink I haven't found anyone yet whodoesn't like the rock ok but it's allwe've got fine or 2 questions now we'recoming towards the kind of end of theshow and the next thing I like to alwaysask my guess is more about reflection soI am a firm believer that hindsight is awonderful thing in terms of it teachesus a lot he teaches us how we can get toplaces quicker easier or with lessheartache now knowing you now as aperson you're very positive and youhaven't been through I suppose that muchadversity but if you could perhaps goback to a younger michael hayes knowingeverything you know now and whispersomething in that may be uncertain youngversion of yourself what would you sayand mental health is real I'd like tohave known a lot more about mentalhealth and being able to make an impactearlier I think yeah absolutely I thinkthe world would have benefited so muchas well if you knew but I'm justgrateful I'm sure people listening tothis are as well that you're making animpact now and on that note we areactually on our last question of theshow and the last question again Ialways like to ask all of my guess it'sabout legacy and if science fails tosave us all and all that is left is abook and that book is about MichaelHayes and everything you've achieved inyour life and all the great weird andbefore things that you've accomplishedfirstly what would the title will sayand secondly what would the blurb at theback tell us about you and the titlewould say keep it simple stupid the backwould probably go along the lines of andthis bloke managed to convince everybodythat the simple things done consistentlyand with a little bit of hard work makeall the difference I love that I love itmate thank you thank you for sharingthat I think just that title alone woulddefinitely make me pick up the book justto kind of think about the lastfantastic okay Michael so just before weend the show I want to give again I'vebeen plugging it all the way throughthis episode I want to give the audiencea chance to follow you on your journey Ithink you're a very infectious positiveperson I've really enjoyed thisconversationyou've got me out of my seat I was a bitlethargic this morning had two cups ofcoffee but I'm thinking about the restof the day so if you could tell us whereour audience can find you and what I'lldo is I'll play all of that together andI'll put it into the show notes becauseI believe you're gonna do incrediblethings and you already are so far awaymate oh my cheers thanks for that andyeah so on Instagram it's at mentalhealth fitness coach and Facebook justsearched mental health fitness coach andI'll pop up on both of those I'mactually on YouTube as well as mentalhealth fitness coach and there's a fewinterviews that I did in the past andone of them was with the CEO of are youokay which is a company - an Australiancompany that's are encouragingconversations around mental health andthat's quite a good one to go and lookat and that's actually a really goodresource for anyone in the UK as welland who are you okay just the letter areyou and then okay and that's that's onethat yeah it's probably one of the bestones that we have in Australia so forstarting conversations and how I start aconversation with a friend and what tosayand it's a unbelievable resource so I'dgo check that as well be a bitmental health fitness coach everywhereelse is where you'll finally fantasticand we spoke I think earlier this weekyou've also got another podcast so Idon't normally plug another podcast intothis but I think it'd be really nice forpeople to get to know even more so whatI'll also do is I'll put that in theshow notes as well or are you okay inthere as well because again this issomething that I'll follow personallyMichael it's been an absolute pleasurethank you for your time today and foreveryone else at home thanks forlistening today thank you and rememberthis podcast is absolutely free so allwe ask in return is for you to sharethis with a friend and drop us a fivestar review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 20 "It's a curse to call yourself a true Entrepreneur, unless you really are" - Penny Power #20Tagline: "Love is the most powerful force in the world, the more you can live within that energy, be that energy and give that energy the better your life will be "Penny Power, OBE is an incredible woman who could complete a podcast series alone. Having labelled herself as an 'Accidental Entrepreneur' Penny formed the first social network for business owners exceeding 650,000 members. However, as many entrepreneurs can relate, she was then forced to handle many ups and downs along her journey and forced to really look deep within herself. Through a journey of self care and discovery Penny began to deal with depression and really find her true purpose and love for herself. A journey she may even consider tougher than the entrepreneurial one.More importantly than the above, Penny is an extremely proud mother to 3 and wife to her husband all of whom she considers the greatest gift she ever received. Penny now coaches people on a 1-2-1 basis transforming not only their lives but also living her true purpose.From depression, to business, to self care to coaching we discuss so many facets that many of you today can relate too and hopefully take nuggets of information to move your lives forward and find your voice!Please check the links below and follow Penny's journey as she is credible, honest and an overall lovely soul.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.pennypower.co.uk/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PennypowerOBE/Twitter: https://twitter.com/pennypowerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/pennyfpower/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pennypower/Books: https://amzn.to/2DPEvfUHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I'm extremelydelighted to bring to you todaypenny power now for anyone who knowspenny they might also know her as theaccidental entrepreneur and the reasonfor that is because penny created thisabsolutely monster of a social networkfor business people in 1998 whichactually had over 650,000 businessowners in it not knowing what she had atthat time penny was sadly disrupted bywhat we know today as linked in sothere's definitely a brilliant storythere and we do discuss that furtherinto this episode alongside this pennyhas also received an OBE in 2014 for thework that she's done and she's seen bymany as a winner and having spoken toher in some depth not just during thisepisode but prior to it she certainly isthat alongside being a mother to threechildren and a wife to her husband pennynow sees herself working with clients ona one-to-one basis and we're in asociety today where a lot of coaches arealmost spawning overnight I mean we'reseeing people with one or two years ofexperience becoming a coach and thenselling their services and being a bitskeptical apart a lot of these coachespenny is somebody I'm certainly notskeptical about because if I was ever torecommend anyone as a coach it wouldcertainly be penny because penny has theexperience and you can tell from the wayshe speaks in this interview she knowsthis stuff so I think without furtherado we're gonna jump straight into thisone it's extremely exciting for me tobring somebody like penny onto mypodcastand I'm extremely grateful for that andI hope you all enjoy this episode thanksfor tuning inok so firstly I just want to thankeveryone for tuning in to today'sepisode today and I've just had afantastic discussion with penny prior tothis actually going live so I've got toknow her a lot there but I think it'svery important that you guys listeningtuning in today get to know the realpenny or Penny powers she is known tomany of us out there today so firstlyhow are you doing todayvery well I feel very well warmed uplovely conversation with you it was itcertainly was I could almost have anepisode out of that just in itself butI'm just for their sake of the listenerswho have just tuned in now and obviouslymay or may not have heard of you couldyou please just maybe give us an insightin relation to where you first started alittle bit about your journey andbasically what brings you here today andso I think you know and I think it'sbeen a journey of finding my voice whichis just perfect I'm gonna try and keepit little 16I went into the IT industry when I was19 I didn't go to university I went intosales and tele sales and joined it whenit was really booming and so it wasfairly relatively easy to excel and Iended up with in about by the age of 24I was sales marketing director of a 80million pound company with about 400staff that I was responsible for and an80 million pound sales line and we hadoffices around the country eight officesand but my first day there I just wentinto there and completely just out ofscarcity and needed to leave home and itwas a job and and I realized I was quitedifferent to everybody else in the roomyou know I wasn't really that focused onthe sale but I was focused on the impactof the sale that would have on whoeverwas buying the product and I actuallyresigned after seven months and I wasgoing to go to the University to do apsychology degree I had finally got myplace and my boss took me into a roomand said why are you leaving I said I'mjust not cut out for business it's notmy world I want to be have more impactin business and he said but you have noidea of the shift that youcreated in the culture of ourorganization and I was ripped shots as a19 year old to be told that and he saidjust be you stay and be you verypowerful when someone says that to youso I did and I built quite a nice careerI'd sort of left that company andactually went off to four othercompanies and then was invited back tobe their sales marketing director whenthey had grown quite substantially andthen at 28 I was blessed with my babyHannah and two more children and that isabsolutely that and my marriage is beingmy highest values my highest joy thething that I think is the most importantthing in my life I think you know thatfall saying charity begins at home Ithink if you put oxygen on your familythen you build a family that doesn'ttake from the world it can give to theworldi I've taken my role as a mum really asmy most important thing in my life andmy merit and my marriage because thatcompletes the family and but I am quitedriven I love I do love business andwhen I was 33 so I had Hannah was fiveand then I had Ross who was three and TJwas just not long born about six monthsold I came up with the idea of the factthat business seemed so lonely peopleworking on their own my husband beingone of them and sort of subject of nightnetworking in 1998 wasn't huge but therewas it was sort of going on but therewas no online networking for businessthere was Friends Reunited and MySpacebut nothing for business so I created acommunity for business online with aculture of reducing loneliness helpingpeople with their self-esteem and herself-worth and helping people to be whothey were rather than just what they didand it grew and it grew and it wasphenomenal but then we got massivelydisrupted we were growing up organicallyit was a subscription-based business tenpounds a month ten dollars ten eurosdepending where you were in the world wewere in 52 countries had 5000 offlineevents here and then LinkedIn took holdso retweet hoffman had actually visitedand used our site a little bit he thenraised three hundred and thirty milliondollars when in theokay we just couldn't raise any moneywe'd raised very small amount of seedinvestment but interestingly he justwent a different route and culture hewent to the business world with hisfantastic tool but it's said it's onlyabout what you are and actually then wesaw that was in 2002 so that was fouryears after we had grown then in 2004Facebook came into the student market2006 Peter came in and the mark I thinkwe all polarized you know this is Who Iam on Facebook this is what I am onLinkedIn an academy sat somewhere inbetween we needed to pivot the businessmodel by now we had lost our house inorder to keep the business going it wasvery challenging the trout childrentraveled around the world meeting ourmembers had little lapel badges withtheir names on them shaking hands atteach ethics or he first startednetworking and anyway in 2008 we went tothe bank and said look can we have aloan to pivot this business and theygave us a 5 year loan enabled us tostart looking at how we can offer freeand start basically doing what we didn'twant to do but in order to survive whichwas going to be sell your data so youyou know what we now upset about in theother markets so obviously that meant alot of our members that were happy topay we're unhappy but did get some newmembers joining who were happy that itwas free but it really challenged ourvalues and then three years into thatwith two years left around the bank loanthe banking crisis happenedwe got a 30 day notice to pay back therest of the two years and they broughtthe business down the bank after 14years so an incredibly painful definingmoments in 2012 and it has been anunbelievable climb to get back any senseof self-worth self belief a big journeyI which we can we can look into it waswonderful in 2014 out of the blue came abeautiful letter and offering me an OBEfor the contributorslovely feeling of validation andbut actually what I really learned isyou can get huge amounts of externalinvalidation in life but unless you canvalidate yourself and believe inyourself and feel your own sense ofself-worth these things are just a bitof gloss on your life and that's been ajourney which culminated in me writingmy book last yearfantastic and your book is called it'scalled business is personal well firstlywhat a journey I probably got more noteshere that again I could do probably apodcast on separately so I just want totouch on a few things throughout yourjourney so you ended with the validationstatement which I don't want to go intocuz I think that's so importantespecially in today's society yeah youwere 19 years old you had almost kind ofdisrupted and made a positive scene inthis industry where there was a fittingcomment and you said just stay and beyou yeah I loved that because I filmedmyself and in an industry where a lot ofmy business comes through social mediathere are people not just beingthemselves I feel that a lot of peoplehave a magic or they're saying thethings that they necessarily feel theyneed to say yeah what people want tohear and I think sometimes we all havesuch a unique gift or skillset that wemay not ever get to see if we're toobusy trying not to be ourselves if thatmakes senseI think I think that was beautiful andyou touched the game moving after thatabout your family and I just resonatedso much with your values in terms ofbreathing oxygen into your family andhow important your marriage is so wetouched obviously prior to this show alittle bit about one of your children Ilost a TJ and just the incredible personthat she is so again that's a testamentto your values and that kind of bringsme to where I am so I touched on theLinkedIn obviously disrupting and it'sand sadly for yourselves you had toalmost kind of pivot but you mentionedsomething which I just found fascinatingwhich was the values bit that reallykind of struck you so it's nice to hearand it's quite refreshing from yourselfthat yes you could have pivoted thebusiness and almost kind of taken on aLinkedIn approach but that's not whopenny is so using that and realizingthat in that moment getting the externalvalidation of OB what did you then do interms of your business I mean is thatstill going now that sort of business orhave you completely shifted it nowtowards really helping people trying tofind out about themselves as in terms offull of himself with yeah I mean Idefinitely has been a thank you for thatthat lovely reflection of what I said Ithink it's been a journey you knowsomething I say when I am coaching andmentoring and I run a mastermind groupnow I take two cohorts yeah so I Isupport people through a mastermindgroup which is beautiful experience wedo need in our values we do need to havea brand we need to know what we're herefor you know that lovely saying to bestdays of your life the day you're bornthe day you discover able all of thesethings are very very powerfulstart with why simon Sinek what it'screated it's created a massive panic ofpeople that don't feel they have it yetand you can't force it so you know wascoaching a lady yesterday it wasincredibly inspired by brainy Brown andher vulnerability statement and simonSinek and all these role models andshe's desperate to find her big messageand I just said just it will come but itabsolutely starts with the seed of whoyou are and you can't force it becauseyou want to market yourself better orwrite a better book or you've just got alot now having a coach or a mentor or aloved one help you coach that out of youis very powerful and I was with abrilliant guy called Sun hartleyyesterday and he's a performance coachand he said these three things you knowyourself be yourself accept yourselfI loved that thought I love that knowyourself be yourself accept yourself andI don't think that we can you know Iwent through a process last year withpsychologists and group therapy becauseI broke and I didn't break to the pointwhere I was you know I was shaking inthe corner but I had a really day ofdevastating experience that dangerousand scary experience on the 30th ofNovember 2017 that I went off to ahospital thinking I had had a stroke orsomething and they found no new logicalthings and and anyway through going tosee psychologists discovered that and Iwas now having some form of mentalhealth challenges and I actually spent alot of time reflecting and thinking andI think I started to break probably foryoubefore I had that incidence it's notsomething I was fat you know you couldstart off you could start off beingcompletely disabled with a bad legthrough or hip through eighth rightousit would start years before you know youget the so I think mental health issuesyou have to start becoming veryself-aware of how you're showing up inthe world before you really know you'vegot them and and you know I believe inmental fitness but there's anothersubject you know starting before itstarts like you do when you look afteryour physical health so the valuesfinding your voice knowing your valuesare very critical you can't force thesethings though and you know when I talkto CEOs of businesses or leaders ofbusinesses they've got pulled into avortex of ambition like this whirlwindof ambition that actually is fantasticif economies create that culture becausethey create to the fear and they createthe culture of you're lacking andtherefore scarcity and and fear and youlack and the market is a brilliance hasit online saying you could be moresuccessful you could be richer you couldbe more beautiful which immediately whenyou actually read that your subconscioushears I am lacking really wave love sobrilliant it's so clever but revoltingso we have to step away from things likesocial media and comparison andRoosevelt said comparison is the thiefof joy it's my favorite quote yeah it'sbrilliant isn't it love it yeahabsolutely and and it's it takes a hugeamount of reprogramming your mind tostop doing thatbut at least once you're aware you'redoing it you feel yourself doing it youcall yourself back into line becausewhen you look at the ingredients of whoyou are you know what makes you up thereis no single human being on this earththe same as you say mercury yourknowledge your skills your intentionsyour passions your experiences youradversities you've it's just absolutelynothing that could make someone the sameas you so therefore comparing yourselfis the first downward spiral really andone that people are so locked into andso you know anyone listening I'll justsay calm down listening to yourself justhave more self-awareness think of yourjoys think of what really sets you onfire all that's that which other peoplewill say but really do it not to makemoney from it to begin with I sawpowerful again I mean I can resonatewith this and I'm not sure if you'vefollowed it in my story or any of myprogression but I try and say a lot ofthis myself because again probablysimilar to yourself I found myself inthe state of comparison initiallyespecially when I started the propertyjourney and I have this habit now andI've kind of I don't do this in a way tooffend people or be rude but I'vestopped almost going on social media andliking people's posts and stuff becausewhat I effectively do now is I have amessage every morning or every eveningthat I want to share with the world andwhat I'll do is I'll write it out andI'll send it out and all of a sudden I'moff social media I'm not there to seehow many likes I get or how many sharesI get because if I fix ain't myself onthat metric in itself what's gonnahappen is if it's law one day the nextday I might be scared to share my truthagain and I think I think one of theimportant things you touched on again ispeople are almost in this panic of wedon't have it but they probably do andit's a patience game I suppose and whereI always say to people he's just speakyour truth speak whatever that comes toyou it's your own perspective it'llresonate with certain people and we'realmost in a society where people aretrying to almost say key and buzzwordsbecause they feel like that's what theyneed to almost same and I think you hitthe nail on the head and I think withyour experiences Ryan you just brieflymentioned the coaching aspect I thinkpeople listening to this show can gainso much value from that so I just wantedto touch on your mastermind that youmentioned is that what's something thatpeople would necessarily need to do inperson or is it something that you cando online from the comfort of your ownhome a really great question so I'vebeen on my own journey and I'm gonnacome back to that if that's not tooannoying so really so when I my - I callmyself an accidental entrepreneur foryears because I was when I came up withhe had a me I didn't know his tiger bythe tail but I had and then I started mysecond business after he had me calldigital use academy which it was highlyimpactful it was workingyoung people I created the digitalmarketing apprenticeship that is nowwidely used and I got investors to putmoney in we invested three hundred andfifty thousand pounds in an e-learningcent system and we distributed thatthrough further education colleges as anapprenticeship and over three years Iout two thousand unemployed very hard toreach young people into jobs giving themthe confidence that their digital skillshad value in the world and and hopingthat they would go into it with us thesort of culture that I believe in aroundsocial media so that was my second whatI call on two-player journey then Istarted my third which is called thebusiness cafe and it was that part ofthe journey that broke me because it wasanother push and what I feel is um theterm entrepreneur is really dangerous tome entrepreneurs are creating somethingfrom nothing and have massive ambitionand Luke Johnson in his book stopsstartup I think it's called saidambition is a curse and not everybodyhas it right to be a true entrepreneuryou have to be massively ambitious andyou have to know how much you're willingto sacrifice in terms of time money andgratification because being true you'rebuilding something as scales and hasimpact and this is the Silicon Valleyworld you know go out raise 300 milliondollars and there and reduce all your 1%and you know it's long busks and MarkZuckerberg the thing that a lot ofpeople your generation and two centsthat my generation came you know we wewitnessed from about 20 to 23 years agowhen ecommerce everything started so Iwould say that you know it's a curse tocall yourself an entrepreneur unless youtruly are so my own personal journey isand where I am finding so much joy nowgoing back to your original questionyeah is that I was employed had mychildren then became an entrepreneuraccident accidentally then they becamean entrepreneur a game with digitalyouth academy then tried to be anentrepreneur game with the business cafeand I still want to bring the businesscafe to market but when I broke my basicmy cup was full I was overflowing foreven a got out of bedmy resilience had gone and I wasexhausted and burnt and the way I'vecome back is by saying actually I'mgoing to be a small business much nicerof course yeaha small business is what is my value toone person and how can I exchange thatvalue for money and impact their livesdirectly so at the moment starting fromJanuary when I launched my mastermindand my mentoring coaching program thisyear I only need to work with about 34amazing people and I will fulfill notonly my emotional needs but my financialneeds and when I go into a room withsomebody I'm coaching I know that I getthat gratification I'm not only seeingthe impact I'm making on that one personbut also they're paying me yeah money isactually ultimately one of the ways weget our worth it is it's I know we don'tchase money but if we're broken and I'vebeen broken and if we can't financiallyafford to feed our children trying to bean entrepreneur is a very very dangerousjourney so going back to your questionam i delivering it online yes I've beenasked that a lotyeah if as soon as I do that I'mstepping away from my direct impacts interms of I'm putting a computer betweenme and and being able to love and holdand touch and care and look in the eyesof the people I'm wanting to impact andso this year that's what I'm doing thankyou for that answer so I want to playdevil's advocate just a little bit onthe the last night you said there so Ifully understand the whole direct beepthere directly impact them hold themlove them and touch these people thatyou weren't have been on a one-to-onebasis and I suppose when I first startedpersonal training I literally startedpersonal training because one I had losta lot of weight and done a qualificationwith a bit of spare change I had but Ithought it would pay for my way throughuni and then obviously doing that Ireally enjoyed it I loved transforminglives and seeing people lose weight gainconfidence which again I felt fantasticas being mothered journey and I got to apoint myself as I and I rememberI should take this online and almost dolike an online coaching for personaltraining where I will check in withclients online again losing that thatone-to-one communication thing but atthe same time getting back some of mytime so my yeah and perhaps potentiallymaking more money and I initially kindof was with yourself I was like I don'twant to do that it's got it's kind ofalmost dilute my power and my gift thatI have when I work with people but thenat the same time I had somebody questionme and again this is a question I wannaask you is do you not then feel becausein this very brief moment with yourselfthe reason I ask this is because I don'twant it to be that penny is based inthis part of the world or this part ofUK and we don't have access to pennyright now because I feel that if you areable to connect with more people yes themessage might be slightly diluted but Ithink your message is so powerful thatyou could affect so many more people sois it something that maybe your identitylater or I used sorry I'm gonna give youa really long answer to this Aren okayso at the moment I don't believe inmyself enough okay it's getting thereand this is the story I'm gonna tell youand it's absolutely true and it's themost up to date story I can tell youabout my life okay yeah please do I havealways wondered why people would spendmoney on an aspen all our mulberry orGucci handbag right so you're gonnathink where the hell she kept okay Inever needed itI never wanted even when Thomas and Ihad money you know and life was a biteasier didn't turn me on Thomas cameback from Dubai once on a speech hasbrought me back in a beautiful good shebox a handbag and it sat in the box forthree years I never used it didn't writeand but my daughter Hannah who we talkedabout a little bit and and hopefully youmight interview so absolutely would bean honor so when she was 20 and I wedidn't spoil our children they had towork from the age of from a young ageand at 16 they got jobs in supermarketsor Starbucks or whatever and age 20 shegot an internship at Barclays and I mether after work one day and we went offto Marburyjust off Oxford Street and she spent 900pounds in a bag I didn't judge her Ididn't judge at all is her money she'dworked hard for it and that was somesymbolism she wanted that bag and shehad this private relationship Reeves mybig my older sister who's 10 years oldand me because my elder sister he's 10years old of me loves designer handbagsand I used to watch quite jealously thisbut I think I want to join that Club I'mnot in certainly sign a handbag but Iwas quite jealous of these this banterthat I would hear and then looking ateach other's bags because ever sincethen Hannah's brought more bags anywaywhen I started this mastermind group wewere meeting at some Pancras stationit's beautiful meeting place and arestaurant there and that's where mymaster minds are going to be in aprivate room there and I had 12 separatemeetings because I have a four-hour oneto one with all the masterminds beforethey join and I would walk past anAspinall shop right eight and I walkpast it looked in sort of smug that allHannah would love that and walked upthese steps into this restaurant anywayone day I about the bath Inc was aboutthe ninth meeting I went into theAspinall shop took a photo of thislovely handbag and said to Hannahyou'd love this handbag Hannah and shesaid yeah is lovely the next time I wentback my 10th time I went in and I got itoff the shelf and I put it on myshoulder oh yes quite not put it back11th time went back went in looked at itand asked him how much it was and talkedto him about it last week was my 12thtime and I said to Hannah the nightbefore I was going back to London for my12th meeting Hannah I fallen in lovewith an astronaut bag yeah and she wentby it by it mom buy it buy it buy itreally and she said I am mom you reallydeserve it buy it so I said don't be nosomebody who works for Aspen orsomething I could get a 30% discountoh yeah I can look into overnight if youwant mum so we'll do that that'd belovely done it anyway next morning Iwoke up to get the train to London myjob meeting and I sent her a text andsaid Hannah I'm gonna buy it I don'twant it discounted I went in and Ibought it and we came home and wechampagne while I opened it at home andThomas said to me just said out of theblue how come you've decided to buyyourself back and I said Thomas I'mworth it and it was so poignant thateverybody cried because Hannah has saidto me mum why don't you believe inyourself you've gotten an OBE look whatyou've done look at the lives you'vechanged look everything you've done andI said I just didn't believe it insideme until I've got I do now so this isthe most up to date story I can tell youour an a my journey and it's been reallyinteresting I share it because I'mreally open with everyone if somebodywants to judge me for the the pain I'vebeen through and the losses I've beenthrough and judge me is a bad businessperson because I'm not achievable youknow I could have achieved I don't Ireally don't care about that I'm just meand um and I will share that that storywith the world because it's we've got tofind our own self worth deep deep deepdown now so in answer to your storywhich was bad to me to go online andexpect somebody to want to pay for anelectronic version of me I haven't gotto that point yet believing in myselfenoughthat's incredible thank you for sharingthat I'm grateful for you sharing thatbecause as you were saying that therewere so many parts of it maybe some ofthe listeners could probably resonatewith it where I'm on thisentrepreneurial journey where I'm kindof bootstrappingas and when I can and stuff like the bagif we use trainers for example where myyounger brother who's nine years youngerthan me we're going spend to endureparents on a pair of trainers where I'mlike I can't do that I can't possiblythink I'm doing that I mean you grew upin slightly different generations wherefinances were different and growing upbut I don't know something tempting justclick there and I thought maybe there isa is an element within myself where myself-worth needs to kind of at least bereflected on and maybe people listeningto this can reflect on that because itwas a beautiful moment I could almostpicture you coming homepopping up and that bottle of champagneand then having this moment where you'relike do you know what I am worth it soit's a beautiful story that you've justshared there and in relation to thediluting the messagething which is the question that I askedyou and you feel that you're notnecessarily worth it now can I just askis that kind of like an impostorsyndrome that's going through your heador do you I think it's partly that I'vewatched so many I don't want swear youcan sway tosses is the places I say sella dream online and manipulate and andcorrupt I don't want to be part of thatworld and I've seen people close to meyou know hire an expensive house rent afat Ferrari and stand outside and sayyou can be as rich as me if you do myprogram and and they are multimillionaires but I have seen so manylost souls back up their lives leavingthat story and so I've got to I've gotto get to a point where for me to jointhat world I've really got to feel safethat I am never going to do that toanyone penny I loved that about youthat's like for me it's kind of likeabout the Family Fortunes TV episodegoing through my head reach that topanswer and it's like kind of bleedingbecause for me it's one of the thingsthat I hold very close to my heart so II got taught off by my wife actuallylast night so this is a very currentstory and I was writing a post and Ikind of just write post from my heart orwhatever I think I don't spellcheck it Idon't think about it I just literallywrite it there and then and as I waswriting it I sinner peeping over it shewas kind of looking at it like why youkind of she's seen it as me being kindof argumentative or not I'm just tryingto think of the wrong bird a bit againstthe grain kind of thing because mymessage yesterday was very similar toyourself so I'm in the property spaceand in the property space there are allthese millionaires selling this poorthingdream and I absolutely hate it because Iwas fortunate that I had 12,000 poundsleft in my account which I spent on theeducation I still believe I would havebeen where I am now without thateducation because in hindsight it wasn'tas good as I've published sin so sincethen I have probablymove people away from the education andI've offered my free service I've givenmy course material that I've paidthousands for because I'm like listenyou can learn all this yourself youdon't need this shiny book or thiscourse that's gonna change your lifebecause I've done it I joined thiscourse thinking twelve months time I'mgonna be a multi-millionaire blah blahblah all of that so you've obviouslyseen these kind of and I put crooks Idon't call them houses but appearancesis probably a better word and it reallyreally it gets it gets to me because atthe same time I also feel I have valuein some of my skills that's where I cango out and coach an extensive amount ofpeople but then I almost getting thisimpostor syndrome myself thinking Idon't want to ever be seen like thesepeople out there exactly doing it thewrong way so I fully get there andobviously we're at different stages inlife you're a lot more advanced andexperienced than myself and I get thatand at the same time I'm like I'm seeingpeople with less experience than myselfwho have fabricated their results takinggood selfies on one Facebook and thenall of a sudden the selling weekendcourses for two thousand pounds and Iread a book recently on it and it wasabout neuro linguistic programming NRPcalled the dark psychology and there wasa brilliant quote in that and what itsaid was you can either manipulatepeople or persuade people basically andthe people there's a lot of people whosay I want to help you I want to do thisfor you and you need to be able toassess are they trying to manipulate youI looking at their own self gainirrespective of whether it's going toactually get you what they're promisedin you or are they're just trying topersuade you to abandon life and I'm I'mgrateful that I've managed to have thisinterview with you and lets you connectwith you because you're one of the goodpeople and it's nice to see somebodydoing it the right way and I do feelthat sometimes we may not get there asquick as other people and we may have toprobably face more obstacles but I justbelieve it's just so much easier to goto sleep at night doing things the rightway well it does it goes back to whatyou said at the beginning about yourcore values and and and whether you cansleep itself you know these CEOs thatSam you this someone was telling me theycoach it said the CEOs are in fear oflosing their jobs or their businessbecause all around them they have nola they've just lost everything we'velost their wives they live norelationship with their children intheir strife for success of whateverthey decided success would be when theywere young they have and now they sit infear in these big jobs because if theylost their job or they lost theirbusiness they have nothing else left andI think we have to think about what isit we want to surround ourselves withTomas and I have lost everything and westill had our marriage and our childrenand it's it's all that matters that's tome that's the possible and I thinkpeople need to go deep into their valuesbut they chase this ambition or thisdream or this comparison or whatever itis that's confusing them yeah absolutelyI think that's a fantastic message thankyou for sharing that penny I reallyappreciate itso now that you're you're definitely anentrepreneur I think I don't thinkanyone's gonna disagree that you're anentrepreneur whether it is by accidentor whatever I mean I feel I'm a bigbeliever that everything happens for areason and if we choose to we can findour own way and I'm grateful that youfound your own way but what I want toask is so for somebody who's beenthrough been through it all should I sayin terms of the journeys of ups anddowns what's your daily routine likebecause I'm a firm believer thatmotivation doesn't last forever and I amstrongly I'm strongly for sorry and thatwe should discipline ourselves incertain aspects hence your nutrition orthe thoughts you tell yourselfaffirmations being grateful all thatsort of stuff in order to get throughthe darker days and not everyone speaksabout the darker days but what's yourdaily routine like Monday to Sunday umso I am always been an early Waker evenas you know child when I was teenagerdid my revision early I always wake sodoes my husband around 5:00 o'clock andwe love that and we go down and get twocups of tea each one of us goes and getsfour cups of teaand we do have that television in thebedroom which we absolutely love so thismorning we watched we loved all thedramas we watched the final of motherfather son for example and we lie in bedtogether and we holehas and we have a cup of tea and wewatch that and then we do that from ournow this is I'm not rushing to Londonfor trade and then I share and then Ifor the last six years I have made avery lovely drinks which containsspinach kale berries chia seeds flaxseeds hue carrot and and then I startwork because I love work so either startwork in the office or I will go toLondon I do try to go to London after10:00 because hey the trains are so muchcheaper oh I go on the train I mean it'syou know how much that makes adifference to your monthly outgoings ifyou if you do have a discipline of doingthat and I just feel better if I do thatthen I get a good start in the morningand then my ideal day is to coach oneclient today about three times a week soin the afternoonsI'll meet at this lovely place and coachthem if it's better in the mornings Iwill do the morning because it's reallydown to where they when they get theirbest energy of course Alice and threetimes a week I'm really grimacing here Itry to go to the gym okay Red Mill anddo some weights but I'm not achievingthat very well moment and I do have ayoga routine that I try to do everymorning before I get dressed that's itfantastic do you do any sort of them Imean I know you've touched on yoga theredo you do any meditation or anygratitude journaling or writing yourgoals down is that so I do I am I have aattitude of blessings and gratitude allthrough the day and I do start my daywith that I definitely don't even haveto consciously do it I just comes intomy mind that I have not that I feel itnow it's I think it's incrediblypowerful that mindfulness meditationthat would completely elude me I justdon't have you do that but mindfulnessI'm trying to learn that my son who'sstudying psychology at University whoand there's quite a high performing butvery him puts a lot of pressure onhimself a lot of pressure on himselfhe's learnt mindfulness and he'sactually done a certificate in it nowand he has it's it's incredible how itstransformed him he said he can't livewithout it and so it is that's andiscipline I'm trying to bring into mylife like I've got itfantastic and just actually if we mayjust going back to something we touchedon earlier we touched on mental fitnessand I know we spoke about this before Iclick the record button yeah do you wantto just briefly elaborate on that aswell because I think that's going to bevery important for the lissa so I when Ihad this sort of breaking moment Iultimately took a while but in the endthe psychologist diagnosed me with PTSDwhich I always thought needed to be ahuge trauma you know something itdirectly happened to you but PTSD isbasically anything that everyday comesback into your mind and it is and itfills your cup before you because atwork Venus that started today and I had12 things that from the age of 3 throughto about 3 years ago that were still onpains that I hadn't accepted andreconciled and I wasn't a victim of thembut they were still front of mind and Ihad to go through a process called EMDRto work through them which was a hardexhausting painful process of acceptanceand letting it go and then when you doit goes into your you might back in yourmind the other thing that I gotdiagnosed with is a form of depressioncalled cursive strong which is a badbook by dr. tim cavanaugh onhe owned a Mazon he worked for thePriory and he found that people thatwere coming to him who were very dynamicvery hardworking high levels ofdiscipline were he'd ended up diagnosinghit them with this and what I gotdiagnosed with and it's basically a formof depression that means you will notself care and look after yourself rightif you just get up every day and youjust keep pushing until until you justyou just just exhausted and so when Iwas going through my psyche my grouptherapy and times with my psychologistwhich talked about in my bookthere was healing triggers and emotionalmental repair that I talked about in mybook that I feel is relevant to everyentrepreneur every human yeah I believearound your belief systems your valuesto thoughts your feelings yourpersonality type etc and what I thenthought was actually if I had no in thistwenty years ago before I became anentrepreneur or even younger I wouldhave focused on my mental fitness notmoment I'd not got to a point where Ihad mental health issues so now I'm anadvocate of mental fitness because Ithink that there are things that wecould learn about ourselves so to meresilience isn't about how hard thepunches are that you are willing to takeand bounce back from resilience is likea boxer you learn what to dodge you'vedone the things that your personalityand your who you are and what matters toyou that you do not want to beconfronted by and you dodge and thatwould enter Fitness to me fantasticactually the first time I've heard itexplained like that I think I think themessage is clear though and I'm quitefascinated now you've got me intriguedinto your own personal book so I know Idon't read books in terms of thehardcovers but I am an advocate ofaudible and listening to books is yourbook available as an audible version oris it strictly a hardcopyno it is I went into studio recorded itso it's on audio it's on Kindle and it'son poppy yeah okay fantastic so there'sno excuse for me not to buy that thenI'll definitely be checking that outthank you for that thank you okay so thenext thing I always ask my guests andagain this is something that willhopefully give the listeners maybelessons that they can take on or somesort of advice is about adversity nowyou've obviously been through a lot ofadversity some of it we probably haven'teven touched in this very short episodeso I know you mentioned briefly and youlost your house you mentioned I think itwas November you were having thesemental health challenges if you couldeither choose one of those or somethingelse in your life where you've beenthrough adversity and just tell us howyou've basically overcame that and thelessons that you've got from it just tokind of give the listeners maybe sometools that they could perhaps use yeahy'know happily so there have been Imentioned that there were I think Imentioned there were twelve things on mylist when I went to the psychologistthat bothered me that was still throwfront of mind went back to his childhoodnot that I was abused or anything butthere was something you know things thatbothered me and all the way up to adultsso I think one of the greatest learningswas that the second business that Istarted digital youth academy I got someinvestors involved I didn't do any truediligence on them but because I hadknown of them and they certainly seemedto have my best interests in the passionof the business in their hearts whenthey invested but I think I was at apoint of scarcity when I went into thatrelationship which is always dangerouswhether you're taking on a client or asupplier or a marriage whatever you oweinto it in a scarcity fear mindset thenit's going to be very difficult and soultimately I had to work my way out ofthat relationship even though I lovedthat business very much we had to exitand sell that business and the issue wasthat because I was in scarcity andclearly was lacking in personalself-worth I enabled them to havecontrol over me and one of the thingsthat strapline of my book is how to leadthe life and business that you want andI was told by actually somebody whoworked for me in that business Russellwho now runs the Starbucksapprenticeship program across Europe hewas a brilliant guy he was ops directorworking with me and he said to me petone day penny I can tell and when Ifirst met you two who you are now thingsyou're not as happy as you used to beI said well that's a real shame and hesaid I watched a documentary last nightand they said there were three parts ofhappiness and they've done a big studyglobally and three parts were 50% ofhappiness is your Constitution are you ahappy person he said penny you alwayshappy and you are a happy person10% is the achievement of the things youwant and you know in this study we knowthat we all always want something elsesoon as we got something we always wantsomething else that's why us so much andinnovate and keep going you know we'renot happywhy we're not animals and that's why weare so progressive 40% of happiness ishow much control you have a have overyour own life and decisions you make andhe said clearly you're being controlledand I was now I had to then unwind thatand I talked about this in my book howsometimes you have to positivelysurrender to a situation and I realizedthat I wasn't going to change a patternthat we had created between us as arelationship where they were assertiveand I was passive where they were theadult and effectively they were treatingme as a child and it was my own doingbecause I went into this relationshipalready in a bad place yeah and so partof the learning I had to go through isI've got to a point in my life whereanybody who was assertive with me I hadwas labeling them in my head as a bullyso I was catastrophizing anybody whoseemed to want to have control over meanybody that had an opinion that wasstrong I saw as bullying and I had tolearn as a naturally not assertiveperson anyway I had to learn to be moreassertive and realized that beingassertive is actually a very adultcommunication style it doesn't have tobe angry that's one one lesson I canpass on absolutely I think that's alesson that I've had to learn myself aswell because when I first I property Iwas very probably a similar situation toyourself as our kind of put people on apedestal yeah I think thinking that Iwasn't worthy or didn't have in muchknowledge yeah yeah in fact I probablydid in hindsight now the funny thing isI got ripped off I got builders runningaway taking advantage of me I hadpotential business partners see me asnaive and trying to make me do more workthan initially agreed to so I had allthese kind of problems and teeth andissues initially as well and I remembermy mom actually saying and you need toyou need to be stronger you need to stopbeing like a walk or a pushover and Iwas just like it's just who I am as inand I was always confident that if Ididn't become this again I assumed ithad to be a nasty dictation person and Iwas as long as I just be myselfsomewhere along the line I will get therightkind of people around me and and maybe Ihave developed some level ofassertiveness over the last few yearsbut I've certainly now got a team aroundme who I can trust and they know me frommy skills I know them for their skillsand it certainly helped but I think youhit the nail on the head there where yousaid it's a skill to learn and and in myhead it's always been if I come acrosstoo assertive are people gonna think I'ma bully or embossing axe or whatever itis so yeah that's really interesting Ithink I think people can definitelyresonate with that good yeah definitelyso penny what's your biggest fear umI suppose my biggest fear is currentlyis long-term sustainable income becausewe you know when you lose everything andI'm it's amazing some people I'mattracting now as co2 coach them is alot of people in their 50s that havehuge skills and but they haven't reallybeen able to manage their business lifethe way they needed to and and createthat sustainable income so I loveworking so I'm going to be very happyworking well into my 70s and Beyond ifpeople still have me but creating somesense of security into my old age is isprobably what what I suppose drives mebut also drives me negatively because itis also a fear okay that's interestingso a bit of a shameless plug here haveyou thought about property investing asI sort of yes I've not anywhere nearthat place to be able to even considerthat well if you ever ask them please doreach out yeah I will I appreciate thatand I will and I think we'll definitelydo that much thank you so much whatwe're gonna do now is actually we'regoing to completely mix it up now we'regoing to go into what I call the funpart of the show so at this stage of theshow all I'm gonna do is literally askyou the most random questions that I canthink of from my list in front of meyou've got no idea what I'm gonna askyou we're gonna do the buzzer for about60 to 90 seconds so there are no rightor wrong answers so literally just saythe first thought that comes into yourhead oh gosh that's very good god yes nono you'll be absolutely fine okay we'regonna start in three two onewhat did you eat for breakfast my shakethe ability to fly or be invisible liewhat is the best thing about being anentrepreneur Breeden if you couldeliminate one thing from your dailyroutine what would it beexercise what is the best gift anyonehas ever given to you my children wouldyou rather have a rewind button or apause button on life pause don't saywhere your fame o'moneyyour proudest moment my childrengraduating your favorite food choiceokay Netflix our YouTube Netflix yournumber-one goal this year to help 34people achieve their dreams yourfavorite TV show ever pride andprejudicewould you rather know how you would dieor when you were dying how if you couldsit with one person in the world for anhour who would it be my husband speakall languages or be able to speak toanimals all speak to animals and finallyif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it bereligion okay fantastic so that's theend of the fun part of the show itwasn't that hard was itno that's very good okay brilliant sowe're almost at the end of the show nowI just got the last final few questionsI just want to ask you penny and now thenext question is about reflection soobviously hindsight's a wonderful thingwhere we can always think of ways to getourselves somewhere quicker easier orwith less heartache but I guess thejourney also teaches us a lot as well sowhat I want to know is if knowingexactly what you know now you could goback to a younger penny and maybewhisper something in their ears toinspire her for the journey that liesaheadwhat would you say it'll all be okay Ithink I've probably just give her thatcomfort really just that reassuranceit's just the reassurance yeah and thatactually suddenly brings us to the lastquestion then what for the show andagain this is something asked for all ofmy guests and it's about legacy so if in150 years time science fails to save usall and all that's left is this book andthis book is about penny and her lifeand everything she's accomplished andall of the great wonderful thingsfirstly what would the title of the booktell us and secondly what would theblurb at the back read to us cost I offthe cuff yeah well the first the title Ithought was love okay and it would justsay that that love is the most powerfulforce in the world and the more that youcan live within that energy and be thatenergy and give that energy the betteryour life will be thank you for sharingokay brilliant so that brings us toliterally the end of the show and justbefore I leave penny what I want to dois give you a chance to connect with theaudience so if you wouldn't mind couldyou please tell everyone listening howthey could reach you and maybe if youhave time and the capacity for them tomaybe engage with you that's very kindthank you so I'm on Twitter so at pennypower I'm on LinkedIn so I'll be easilyfound as penny power I'm on Facebook butunfortunately I think I've just aboutreached that five thousand limits andI'm absolutely rubbish and got to put mypage right but I don't have a page I'vegot a lovely community on Facebookcalled the business cafe global andthat's a very caring very honest andreal community of small businesses I'mon Instagram as penny F power and then Ihave a website which is penny power UKand on there there's different contactforms that's fantastic and what I willdo is I will put all of those details inthe show notes thank you that's verykindno no you're very welcome I'll also puta link to the book as well because I'mlooking forward to reading that myselfand I just want to say once again pennythank you so much for your time todayit's actually been a fascinating talkeven the stuff we spoke about before theepisode and I just wanna thank you foryour time I want to thank everyone athome as wellthanks for listening wonderful andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 19- "How to control your thoughts and manage depression" - Alex Roberts #19Tagline: "Do what you want to do, not what people want you to do "Alex Roberts, was a recommended to me by a friend and little did I know he was actually a neighbour...well almost! Despite sharing the same postcode, love for personal training, fitness, heath and mindset we also shared a lot of personal stories in this episode.More so from Alex who bravely who showcases his vulnerability by openly talking about depression, anxiety and his struggles with grief and the loss of his father. A genuinely humble guy who has achieved success by just being himself and helping people on a daily basis. His approach to self talk has inspired and motivated me, and he hits on so many key aspects during this interview that we can all implement and take on board to enhance our levels of happiness and mindsetA shining example that what you see, isn't what you always get and the importance of never judging a book by its cover.I thank Alex for his openness, his bravery and for being an all round great guy. I urge you all to support and follow his journey as he is a great person to know and connect with.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.alexrobertsfitness.co.ukFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlexRobertsPersonalTrainingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliro898/Have an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I'm extremelyexcited to be bringing you Alex Robertsto the show today and Alex is somebodywho was actually recommended to me via afriend now alex is a personal trainersimilar to myself we have similarinterests but what really struck a chordwith me when I spoke to Alex prior tohim coming on this episode was he'sbattled with anxiety over well anddepression now I can't diagnose myselfin depression because I've never beenclinically diagnosed with it but when itcomes to ins ie a novel one boy can Irelate so it was extremely interestingto hear his side of this and I supposewhen many of you follow his journeyafter this which I'm very soon you'regonna want to do you're gonna see hissocial media profile and think wow isthis the guy on the episode because likemany of us we judge a book by its coverand Alex when you see his cover onInstagram you wouldn't necessarily thinkthis is an individual who perhapssuffers in the way that he explains onthis interview so I think withoutfurther ado we're gonna get straightinto this and once again I just want tothank everyone for their amazing supportwe've now hit well over 100 reviewsthank you so so much for thatokay so firstly I just want to thankAlex for coming on the show today howyou doing today I'm fineyou good where is good fantastic yeahI'm not you're coming you sure it'salright that's good stuff so I know Alexbriefly we've spoken obviously on socialmedia that's where we connected we'reactually neighbors we don't live too farfrom each other actually five minutesliterally yes so I think it's importantfor the listeners who are listening tothistoday to get to understand a little bitabout yourself so a little bit aboutyour story and basically what's broughtyou here in your life situation todayI've recently been doing my own sort ofvideos and songs are in depressionmyself I've never really experienced anymental health problems at all until Ilost my dad four years ago now yeah fouryears ago I didn't had a single problemdidn't really suffer from anxietydepression or anything but it seemed tobe that significant sort of traumaticmoment and brought brought a number ofproblems okay as such so yeah I'd saythe 1 4 Matic man was obviously losingmy dad which then spiraled on to anumber of other things later down theline a first sort of new heir sort ofmental health problems was funnilyenough when out in New York theChristmas okay after I'd lost my dadI was literally walking down one of thestreets going towards Grand CentralStation and I'm I just felt so likeoverwhelmed it was said he was sostrained and that felt anything like hadjust overwhelmed and I was just likeBestway describing he was trapped insidemy own head rocky do you Jonesy no Imean I sort of trapped in my own headand I was I was just really overwhelmedfor no particular reason at all andthat's when that's um the main sort ofdefining defining time where I sort offelt and knew but I was suffering fromsort of mental elf right and this wasfour years ago yeah how old are you knowif you don't want me that's for 27 soyou're 27 so around the age of 23 wasyou so just for the listeners nowobviously I know you're a personaltrainer you've been doing personaltraining for how many years five or sixfive six years so you actually apersonal trainer at this point as wellyes okay so in terms of we'll jump backto where you are now so in terms unlikeyour general life going up to say 23before this moment happened what kind ofstuff was you do was it was you alwaysinto the training the model those intertrained not not so much to mine okay sothe mind absolutely not I don't thinkmany of us know whatno I'm not yeah not a thing I was verysporty I play good level of rugby playerafter County fantastic I was atuniversity very very very carefree okayI'd say I really didn't give it yeahabsolutelyvery carefree very still I'm out goingto an extent now but slightly a bit morereserved let's say we're very bubbly Iwas on track with with Union stuff butyeah in terms of tuning into the mind orso into is my intuition if you if you'dlike and then when you had that tragicmoment when you lost your dad that'swhen I started realizing order in asecond it's one thing training our bodyit's another thing yeah yeah laterpercent and have you so what have youdone then since then cuz obviouslyyou're similar to me in that respect soI we touched on it briefly before thissometime personal training myself rightyeah and I understand the importance ofyou know looking after yourselfphysically but more so now I train everyday more for this ya know Mike andpeople don't get that people might thinkis for aesthetics or for a six-pack orsomething it's truly not yeah it's trulytwo combines ie not have that V anymoreyeah is that something that you do aswell so I think now yeah training isvery much a part of me improving mymindset as well now it's probably themost essential thing for me nowso I know it's a difference when I don'ttrain serotonin levels drop in except Iknow some big differencelack of energy that's not now was thethat was the main one for me cuz I had aweek off my own training a couple ofweeks back and I was just tired andwaking up tired going to bed tired itwas just yeah boy it's one of them likebut then you start self sabotagingyourself don't you for not draining themwell in reality your body needs to restbut yeah I mean it's very important forthe mindset nonetheless and the morepeople can recognize that yeah thebetter creasy's yourself were you've gotgoal you've got a target point you gottayou've got a goal point focal pointmm-hmm so in terms of briefly you meantlike the mental health thing would youcall it anxiety and overwhelm or wouldyou actually call it depression have youbeen diagnosed or is it something thatyour yeah I mean oh yeah well I sufferedwell still suffer from anxiety now okaybut I had my main by that bad episodelast January I have nowhere rightabsolutely out of nowhere so obviouslywhen I lost my dad I was quite low andBobby that will be the best time verynumb okay maybe didn't understand asmuch as I should have done what wasgoing on maybe so I sort of known to thefeeling's boffing last January that thatwas a real scary moment or a scary pointI think my sleep started to go and onceyou sleep starts where you don't dealvery well with all our suffering withinsomnia this was about two weeks so Ijumped on some medication friends are indepression and slowly slowly start tolift okay and it was quite amazingreally because we've in the space of ayearI don't it's mad mad to think about abought Mustang right I traveled over Iknow another free countries childanother three countries changedworkplaces again and I'm not saying thiswas from the tablets whatsoever but Ialso think another defining thing Ibought some of Tony Robbins he's contentokay a big mindset guy guru and I boughthis content and did that for three orfour weeks and that was a bit of a gamechanger as well that's brilliantso in the space of six months to a yearand switched from literally rock-bottomI mean when I say rock-bottom I was Ihad to move to my mom's for about twoweeks would you say you were eversuicidal I had thoughts I've never hadnever come tried to commit now I didhave thoughts but I would never do okayI know but never done it but and yeah Igot to that I got to that sort of verylow pointjust lying on a sofa watching the TV andhe was he was a terrible terrible part Ithink my mom was really shocked as wellthat I've gone from that to that pointin course here it was crazyWow and I was helpless to it mmm it feltlike I couldn't do anything like nowobviously in hindsight you can recognizeyou were in this kind of slum yeah yeahso in that particular moment would youoblivious to it like how you acted rightokay not clear okay couldn't do a thingit's crazy it was literally at zero Wowand it was a kind of Tommy Tory Robinsorry Tony well and it's fully enough sowatch these pearl he's got he's got aprogram on that let's call them I am NOTyour guru yeah and I watched that everyday for like five days I'm going to crya lot yeah I was crying there's onescene with it with the lady who hadsuicidal woman yeah yeah that's whatpulled me out of it okay the suicidalwoman when she said like I can't cope nomore a car and that was a turning pointI vote no more of this now yeah yeah gotmyself back into work so obviously atthis point I was in Irelandokay I'm self-employed or wasn't earningI'm off work I'm in January a reallybusy periods of all these sports allthese sports are going on yeah yeah butyet just completely overwhelmed feltlike I was way out of controlWow didn't have a clue what was going onhow to tackle it so this six-monthtransition now you've got you've got theMustang you've gone travelling you'vesort of lifted yourself back up againyeah sort of finding your way againyeah is that a recent event now are wetalking is that now her armhow's your position right now goodstrong fantastic strong I mean from lastJanuary to this January's been verystrong okay and so on food threat thisyear and just find that then so Ifollowed Tony Robbins I follow a lot ofpa yeah because I have to how I put foodin my mouth how I lift weights I have toalso put stuff into my mind yeah Bagonon that sort of stuff whatever it iswhoever you you know you resonate with Ithink you should put it into you yeahyeah because otherwise you startwatching the news your thoughts arecompletely the wrong way yeah in withthe way that I wouldn't recommend if youwant like a strong mindset yeah so sothat's itand so what I want to know now isobviously you're in a good place nowtouch briefly on the gym stuff what'syour daily habits like now because I'mthinking there's probably a thousandpeople listening to this who canresonate with what you've just gonethrough the anxiety that feeling of justbeing in a rock yeah and I believe thatmotivation doesn't last forever and itcomes down to a level of discipline tokind of just get over those bad daysyeah so what kind of routines do you doon there like a daily basis I mean I trymy best to sort of get up the same timeevery day quickly c'est quoi best 7Harper 7 mmm saying you've got thatsolid routineI normally have breakfast as normal Iwon't so I'll prep the food for the dayahead or the on coming days because I'dnormally have gaps ok in between clientsI can pop em and prep all the food yo Dit's fresh then as well of course I'mfortunate enough that I can come backhome and get obviously so I've got astress with crap not saying it's a badthing to prep into brilliant things yeahabsolutely I don't do that anymore Icould do so close myself yeah I can justcome pop back so they're not all go towork do like my morning sessions maybestraight through into the afternoon thentrain and maybe come back then a fewmore you need depends on what theDiaries looking like okay nighttime Idon't really have caffeine past 2 3o'clock ok I cook caffeine off I'm nottoo picky with food late at nightdoesn't it doesn't really bother me yeahas long song again and that caloriesthat any impaired a thatreally matter fury at 11 o'clock or notmore so more freedom like yeah I like tosleep like yeah yeah say yeahthen I'll obviously do what I was goingon meeting where the chat with friendsgirls whatever whatever's on the agendaI don't normally train in evenings okaynot normally I'd normally have itwrapped up by get out of the way freep.m. yeah training do you listen tobooks do you read books do you do anygratitude or goal-setting or anythinglike that yeah it's funny enough for allyou're gonna see this is mad as welloh I'd actually vote when I was in thisrow yeah or as I was just coming out ofit last year I droped some goals downand every single one was it happened itwas AMA I wrote it down on piece ofpaper and stuck on the side of my bed onthe cupboard and one was buy a new cardsaid Range Rover originally why don't Iupped it out a lot but that was one Igot a new car yeah trap wait this is soweird since it said travel to freeanother three countries you've neverbeen to yeah we're not in trouble I wentto Dublin I went to Budapest I went toZurich Switzerlanddamn what was the other Craig this isthe craziest one I think once said mootmove Jim places because it will changethe game this was these worldwide okayAndyI did that you spoke about the lid yeahplastic my mindset was gone from thereto learn so I wasn't particularly happyat work yeah mr. just was not helpingmatters whatsoever yeah but it was justweird and every single one that I wrotedown yeah yeah and I didn't refer backto him all until one day I just lookedhim before yeah yeah well this is thething so I'm very big on personaldevelopment like I pride myself on mylast job think I read like 50 books orsomething okay and the first ever thisis this is why we were quite similarwhen I was 25 I was working in London atthe time and the first persondevelopment guru I ever found was 20Robbins yeah so I was listening to hisstuff I mean one of these tapes hementions writing it down and theimportance of goals and I remember Ithat particular point I wrote downI think it was like two three cause acommon belief there Birnam the phase 2and it was 2 1 buy a house and two tobuy a golf always wanted a golf croquetyou could never afford one like mom anddad blessing they brought me a fiatpunto which is like the best time everyeah it was all we could afford and isyour first car loved it to bits but inmy head was always like if I can get agolf kind of made it yeah and at thattime again in a row tip I forgot aboutit until about two three years later andI'm getting a Scirocco cuz they've justcome out a stroke I look hard beforeyeah they are amazing my kind of thefault of sure up so ever so I'm meant toget involved it's just kind of like inmy eyes a bit man upgrade yeah and I'vegot buying my first investment hold andso it was weird because I rememberfinding my books women burrows moving asa what's this and I'll pretend it's mygoals and that's why every time I'vedone it it has worked so now one of mykind of practices on every morning is towhat my goals now nothing you've justproven that yes yes because what happenssubconsciously you're almost seeing theopportunities out there and you'reprobably driving more towards a 100percent so yeah yeah I mean I writegoals down and what was everything wastalking about I meditate 39 ok yeah it'swhen I was struggling in that bad pastI've seen tell okay can ask what yourmeditation process is I just use a anyYouTube app that I really can we're richone for grieving cried she just loved itI mean this loads so simple it's asimple matter of I'm just thinking forthe listeners get on YouTube the stuffsout there type in minute yeah yeah forhowever long you can do it yeah yeah anduntil you fall asleepreally that's why also you do at nightyeah I do it at night I don't reallytend to do a probably a good ideabecause if you're anything like me butI've got to sleep and I'm worrying aboutother things I've got to do the nameyeah that's how the brain works so it'svery seductive at night isn't it yeah soI tend to do it at night and sometimes Iwon't use it if I'm quite chilled I'lljust go straight to sleepit'll depend yeah yeah so your foodobviously you're a personal trainer andI'm probably the worst person trying togive food advice because I used tosuffer with binge eating I would be veryflexible with my diet so if I fancysomething I'm just gonna eat it becauseI don't have been doin it later yeah somy diet is a bit like I do get responseson Instagram but how are you eating thisagain to me it's all about calories yeahyou know what goes into your body youbarely enough effectively European Kyeah yeah body composition so have yougot any particular foods that you eat oragain um now I mean so up more flexwe're gonna try and cut down like soobviously I've been bulking for Trump onsome mass a while now I finally hit 15stone plus now so I think I'm back downto 15 stone now was 15 stone fight fourweeks agoyeah I'm 15 stone now so I'm quiteregimented leave it now as I cut downwhen I'm trying to bulk up I'm not asrecommending I'm still in terms of thefoods I mean I'll keep the same foodslike every I'll change them up every twoweeks so if a breakfast still be oatswhey protein powder and not salt Ana'smilk yeah then two big meals of likechicken noodle stir-fry and the last methat we salmon I'm right and I'll be thesame for two weeks and ostrich eat ofwire okay it seems to be workingyeah and then obviously hydration isasleep yeah I have loads I only drinkwater really water and tea I couldpretty much have the same food I supposeon all the time my only thing is when Ifirst died I took a everything thatyou'd consider open commas here a badfood yeah and then what was happeningwas I did that for about 18 months I wasso strict and the moment I stoppeddieting because I gave up boxing all ofa sudden mate I was in like 10,000calories a day to that to that reallyhonestly to the point last um what wouldbe here I'd be out with the missus and Icouldn't buy the car back because I wasjust like glued up like the nightprofessor horrible and what used tohappen was I used to beat up for twodays Friday Saturday sometimesabsolutely hate myself swear at myselfin the mirror and I used to go to thegym three times a day up until thefollowing Thursday and then what I do isI use down to like 1800 so I'm wonderingin overtraining and then all of a suddencome Friday again when I go out for adrinkI'm drink and obviously then you loseall your common sense and I've do the10,000 Kelly thing again slow so I'lluse this thing called my fitness parkwhich yeah mate he was like this justlike you all the time so I've got overthat too hypnotherapy and why I did itand then that's why now I'm veryflexible in my process of said that youpercent my diet is like nutrient-densefood you know that the stuff that youyears they're talking about but then thelast day if I want a biscuit or achocolate you're gonna see me do itbasically okay so yeah it's interestingyeah yeah why were we accessible it's umit's crew shoulder yeah I mean I wish Ihad more of a nutrient-dense style atyourself I just think there's also anargument for sustainability as well yeahyou've got other diets sustainable andyou've got to enjoy it because that'sgonna have mental implications if not aswell if you're not enjoying your food init everything looks back to the point ifyou're not enjoying your food you're notgonna sustain it yeah therefore yourbody's not maybe where it's supposed tobe or where you want it to be thereforethe mental problems coming it's all it'sall interlinked of course everything'sinterlink to it and just on the mentalhealth thing there that you that you'reon about so would you say that'sprobably the biggest adversity thatyou've been through during that time andfor the listeners because I'm surethrough our life we're all gonna losesomebody very close to us and go forthat sort of patch in our lifewhat were the lessons that you learnfrom it and how did you fully get overit god Jerry's the 100 percent thebiggest adversity I've never experiencedanything like that my entire life noteven when the day my dad passed okay Ididn't feel as bad right as I did lastJanuary the emotional pain was just as asailor's overwhelming do you think itwas a build-up from I think every whathappened was rock so I went see acounselor like last and late last yeargoing into early this year because I'venever I never had a proper bereavementcounseling and I still had loads ofstuff underlined and I think that's whatthe bill that was okay so imagine havingthat much emotional pain build-up forwhat three years and just explode analpha to correlate shape yeah it's justit's just gone explode in the air yeahand I tell you in terms of the lessonslearn I think the bereavement counselordefinitely helped me to understand asinteresting the stuff and the lessonsthat I learned were the grief has notimelineit's now got a time line there's noproper way to grieve yeah yeah it's okayto feel back you've got it you've got tofeel these emotions you've got to feelthe emotions and not subdue them okaysee if you subdued him you have anepisode like I did and that's I wouldn'twish that wish that were my worst enemy[Music]another lesson was probably I learnedthat I'm strong a lot stronger than afault of I thought you were yeah yeah toget through that I mean there's not muchto phase me now to be honest if I cancome over that they're in the fin andand this is one of the things I've triedto do with this podcast as wellis I don't want somebody to go throughwhat you've just been through you knowto lose their parent and then go throughthe pressure what I wanted to do isrealize the last point you said that wasjust amazing it's but stronger than wewe know we are and that we think we'recapable of and I think the only way youfind that is by going through someadversity or yeah I should never know orshould I be no no this is where I love Ilove the gym and I love people that areinto the gym because when you go to thegym you don't go there to have like aluxury time you go there you put yourbody in distress yeah provided how youtrain and then you you're almost tryingto grow in that moment and I urge peoplenot just to do that in the gym to dothat through life as ah yes why I got toprobably speak in sessions when most ofthe time I choke oh you go you're goingto like help you absolutely opt thatdoes I mention that the other thingthat's been really good especially foryourself with anxiety as well I thinkthat's brilliant and the first few timesI've been there and they've asked me tosay something I'm just looked out everywannabe luck don't say it's in numberone public fear though isn't it it isand I thought in my head if I canconquer that I can conquer anything andI wonder way there now and I think liketwo weeks four actually won the bestbeat of the day coach me if you ask methree months already left yeah you knowchances that's amazing though man yeahso hence white but you're doing the samethings like you've had to come out ofthis sort of dark hole and you've doneit and you've said some amazing thingsthey're like it's okay not to feel greatgrief has no timeline and I think comingfrom a male and most of you know if youcould follow Alexpaid so like Instagram in great physicalshape you're training people you'regoing to come across as a sort of alphamale or suppose yeah yeah cause there'sa vulnerability in what you're sayingand I think as a guy I think we need toobviously it's best that more yeahbecause we have this thing like bravadolike our culture our weaknesses and Ithink especially meant to have one ofthe things I'm working on this year asare is really trying to raise awarenessfor mental health yeah because my momsuffered with it support people withmental health and I think people areyourself it make other people who may bein a similar situation to yourself thinkif alex is it 100 yeah yeah now youwon't believe the amount of people thathave told me to have gotta do you won'tbeliefs add isn't it like I honestlythink most of the human race has it tosome probably got it some degree yeahwhere some people just say you how abouta few years I've had people just comeout yeah about it for about ten yearsright but I'm the on the surfaceeveryone's got masks everyone's got amess yeah some of the strongest peopleare no wood on the surface successfuland they've come you have beenabsolutely struggling for 10 years it'scrazy my anxieties but today I'm strongyeah yeah and this is this is what I tryand be as transparent as I can on mysocial media with everything I doso ridership there something's goneabout try and say not to sound likedepressing because I don't want to comeacross as a depressing life yeah andit's almost like guys it's okay not tobe okay yeah or to have a shit day whereyou just feel like you're in the funkbut I get those days but if course he'sgone wrong like I probably had the bestday before and I wake up the next dayfeel absolute shit for note-for-note nothat's that's unfortunate the horriblething about yeah anxiety and stuff it'sit can just creep up on you forabsolutely no reasonhence why it did two years off well yeahthis was exactly and I'm overwhelmedfeeling as well oh there's there's beenoverwhelmed moderately than has beenoverwhelmedcompletely with everything that youcan't control anything you you can'teven function under the day-to-dayroutine if you ask me a question I replya very about ten-secondlater Wow it's a serious very seriousthing very serious thing and you'reworking on it now though yeah I think ofmy massive yes inroads to it to behonest and I honestly put that down tothe bereavement counselor okay so you'drecommend anyone going through that toat least talk whether it's with thecounselor you know some people have astigma attached to that but I think talkis probably one of the most important100% I mean I wouldn't see a really goodwoman called Elaine at Walsallbereavement center which is free yeahyeah free of charge so I mean that thesystem she's got there she's very she'svery very good I mean it just made meunderstand my emotions more Jamie andcosy I think the trouble with anxietyfeel completely alone with it down yeahand you think the only one in the worldyeah yeah absolutely ten times worseyeah see people need to understand thatyou're not the only one going through itand that in itself makes hugeimprovement because you feel sort oflike the most worthless one in the roomis not make sense so yeah it's nice andother people are soft it's nice to knowin a way people are suffering as well ashorrible as that I know what I mean bythat though I know it's nice to knowthat people have the same infusionproblems yeah and I think if we lickabout twenty said earlier that'sprobably the problem with society todayespecially when you're hearing aboutkids with like depression or kind ofsymptoms they go I don't like socialmedia and seeing this perfect life thateveryone's portraying yeah that's notthat's not it it's like somebody mightpost every brand new car or they mightpost a holiday but there might be indebt there might have had a bereavementthe day before so anything would havehappened absolutely and if what happensis we see that as a snapshot now you gotto remember 99.9% of people on in theworld are already gonna post highlightsthem on this follow us has greatreception we've see the good sideabsolutely and and that's kind of likethe gift and the curse I think withsocial media which is and again anotherreason I do this issay look yeah you got fantastic stuff onyour histogram you can learn a hell of alot about fitness and personal trainingand stuff but there's a real person hereand you could probably learn morevaluable life lesson yeah yeah by thisinterview that since 100% I think Ithink the kids of our generation nowthat didn't set up to fail that garbsI'm sure they've got no chance becausethey're coming to a world where they'vebeen handed this this phone here thistablet here yeah and I think I waslistening so glad you know simon Sinekyeah yeah yeah I was listening to someof his stuff I mean he's basicallysaying there's no way like kids now canhandle the dopamine fix of what they'relooking at the big good hormone fixbecause they're they're obsessed of itthat as soon as air phone pings afterhappy it's crazypick it up when they don't want you tobe happy about his own when you thinkabout it the grand scheme of things it'sjust but I was just I was drivingthrough some place near Warsaw a fewweeks ago and I was just looking and Iwas like the kids coming out of schooland every single one on the street wason the phone I'm not talking aboutone in ten every single one of them wason the phone and a fuck I just referback to when I just call I was runningaroundI mean running around and doing justcrazy stuff like I look at them now andI think that you just been cell phoneit's not their fault I don't think it'stheir fault it's not their faultI think leeches are allowing some phonesinto lessons are they now it's like yousaid potentially setting them up to failisn't it I think we're kind of like agood generation where we lived beforethe phony era but also now we get tobenefit I suppose from like a workperspective yeah so I fell into the trapinitially of like say like Instagram youknow you looking who's engaging my postand stuff yeah I do now and I probablysaid for the last four months iswhenever I write a post unlike what theFacebook I use quite a lot I just turnedmy phone off them and I only ever gotback to reply what I don't do is scrollthrough Facebook and like other people'sstuff will follow other people's stufftoo much yeah is it all supportive butbecause I don't want to put my mind inthat in that moment or no rage yeahagente really thinking yeahI'm doing enough or I'm not enoughbecause someone's always doing this sojust on my own something you have to bea bit selfish that look this is what Iwant to say if you resonate with itfantastic if you don't mind past it butI just want to get off my chest so areyou social media especially prayerthat's a way I just talked it to myselfand it's kind of like my journey yeahyeah I can be like oh yeah you shouldsay that then how much I've got grownsince yeah if that makes senseand that's helping massively because Ireckon if I was constantly on Facebookand I've done it where I'm just watchingeveryone and everyone's buying new carsand doing crazy things and I'm like youalmost been inferior a little bit yeahbut as you said those points wouldfollow up at the same time how do youknow that person is in hasn't taken ahuge loan to pay that you just put onthe Instagram of the face but of courseyeah they haven't been given thathaven't won the car you didn't it mightbe one those free optionsyou're never know any plug youautomatically think are their doing wellthey're doing it right that's the phrasenew reality probably haven't got muchself worth custom I've been given thecar so Duty absolutely and I think themost important thing is probably likehappiness that how happy are they reallyoh yes well of course this is this isthe issued so it's all falserepresentations what they do is take iton face value isn't it yeah this is itas you say it's the the pros and cons ofsocial media media but I think now whatwhat annoys me is that I have to usesocial media for business for businessat the same time I hate it yeahBono's gotta be done 100% that's that'swhere oh yes stuck between ever to letgo of social media and just try and finda way that you can live with it yeahbecause it's only gonna get worse yeahof course I mean we spoke about voicehence the podcast yeah everything'sgoing to probably voice-activatedapparently there's a massive statistic Idon't know if the top of my head thatmost people when they search into likeGoogle or Syria or something and I'mprobably talking about youngerdemographic yeah they dovia voice so that's how much is changingI mean that we're probably still used totyping stuff and it's it's incrediblereally I mean it's incredible how muchwe've developed break I just wish youknow their whole mentor half side andthat sort of it was developing at thisyeah we said yeah it's um it's very veryscary for them yeah I don't know if yourclients on any one set stuff or yeah I'mpretty much to go to guy oh yeahfantastic yeah pretty much do you be agood great advocate but very very verymuch so and i've i've had people likei've pulled people a depression i pulledthem have things by just doing what I doreally don't rely telling going from myexperiences etc regardless from youngerthan them or not doesn't matter haveanother different experience absolutelybut you have massively change peopleit's mentally physically got more thebest periodsyeah what you do what you do but I meanI'm not gonna name names I don't know soenough like I mean there was one guytrained is literally where I was interms of rock bottom he didn't lead thehouse that he didn't leave the house andhe hadn't trained in how long and Ipretty much pulled him out of it he wasin this last year I think he was in itthey're not then I didn't know hedropped before he was it fell a bit lowand poor mentally before I did so I Ifell into I fell into it I got back outof it and pulled him okay sort of out aswell which is commendable because it'sprobably the hardest thing just puttingyourself out yeah and I just rememberinglike I was trying to I was trying to getinto work but couldn't write I was tellhimself yesterday I'm going back in andfire comes to it and I can get back inand I remember I'm just saying you justtake your time etc so eventually gotback in and now he's here and of a threeor four stone down fantastic at work hada baby oh wow I love that me had a babyyeah yeah loves these training so goodstuff good on you mateso yeah he's on it now yeah I thinkbecause obviously I did my qualificationI think about eight years ago my lastfew clients I stopped at the back end oflast year they used to say the trainingand everything yeah it's fine whateverbut they say we enjoy like the mindsetporks and stuff that I used to give himlove that side of it because you don'tknow what people what stresses have goton the life and you don't know what inthat hour our slot or whatever you haveyeah you don't know how much you'llbenefit directly because people I'lltell you after G that you don't evenknow what you do yeah you don't see noyeah you don't see it yeah do you know Imean and that's a special thing I thinkthat's a special thing about the job Iagree if you can change someone's lifearound like that it's pretty bit there'sno better feeling better than earningmillions for some companies latelyabsolutely you're gonna see not much ofoh yeah so would you say that's yourkind of motivation now like movingforward or I mean what what keeps yougoing now on a daily basisthat in itself only percent that I meanI think you have to get to know people alittle bit more don't you their personalgoals what the one thing you can startto build that rapport yeah and once youstart to build that rapport it meanseven more to you doesn't it because youlied the pass and you become be the bestdigital yeah my similar so you'rerocking up into work and it's not evenwork Jeremy you doing it for them andlet's just see the seem so grateful yeahyou made me want to go back there yeahthat's a big finger isn't it I mean ifyou can if you can do that that's prettyspecial I think of course but if you canstart to retune people's minds andrelationships with food exercise withthemselves it then impacts on thepersonal life and other stuff like thatyeah you create a butterfly effect yeahpositive because I think if you if youcan start to improve that that there'sgonna be good things that'll topple overabsolutely from that closing the hardestworkers in the room in the gym andnormally the heart the most successfulpeople financially your family wiserelationship probably if you take thatlevel of discipline and work ethic intothe world it's all a discipline isn't itunder the most disciplined people aremost successful people and if you canprove that in the gym probably one thehardest I agree scenarios are going tobe ok I always look at someone and ifthey're physically in good shapeyou know you've got some good level ofdisappeared another half hours yard workI know you've had to probably go tosocial events and not eat what everyoneelse is eating or drink what everyoneelse a drink lot you've had to makesacrifices so I fully appreciate thatyeah a lot of people don't understandthat they'll call those sort of people agym free cause yes absolutely yeahwhen you think about it now the matter Ialways you've probably have to do tochange a physiques and our bodies andit's incredible incredible amount yeahbut a lot of people don't understandthat and there are a hell of a lot oflazy people yeah yeah hell of a lot oflazy people which I can't understand Idon't understand how they've got to thatyeah how about that stage whoever itstuning from a young age or Parenthood orfell in with the wrong crowdI don't know yeah do you know I mean soI don't know it's one of the pillarsthat are you so I was in corporate firstI went straight into business one of thethings that I wanted to do was to workwith people on a one-to-one basis so yesI love the person training I do it moreand I sort of mindset basis as well lieespecially property and stuff but canhelp them yeah develop and one of thefirst things I'll say before I startworking with them is you gotta get a gymplandon't be talking to liver yeah one thingfor you to do before you do anythingelse is work on yourself first so all ofthem will have to do some level ofphysical activity now whatever that isit doesn't need to be lifting weights itcould be yoga ISM going for runswhatever they want to do but you have todo some level of activity yeah yeah Imean that almost be any discomfort inorder to grow yeah and always do thatface because then I think like you saidif they're if they can work really hardto give 100% on that they're nothingokay that's a great trait with thatcould work with that person's gotworking yeah yeah whereas if they'veturn around but no I just want to learnabout this or making money but Iwouldn't do this I'm not okay I'mprobably not the right code for you yeahbecause my coach is gonna be holisticit's gonna be about everything yeah yeahand I think you'll be great at thatI think obviously as your businessstarts to expand in your personaltraining you could potentially I don'thave your own franchise I don't knowwhat your goals are but because you haveboth aspects of it I think you're veryreally well yeah yeah it is a good thingto tap into niche it's all interlinkedisn't it and it's only gonna get it'sonly gonna get moreprevalent in society a hundred percentso what's your fear now death right okayI spoke to my Cantrell about thisbecause she was like when when you losepeople close to you rather than extendedfamily or someone who's not particularlyclose to you you realize mortality cuzuntil then you're immortal our ninjaknow I mean you don't fit nothing youreally think cuz I it doesn't reallycross your mind you're invinciblethrough more so that death scares meokay now yeah that scares me and I thinkyou just you've hit the nail on the headthere because if somebody hasn't gonethrough death listening to this podcastthey're gonna think nice not reallyresonating somebody who's been throughit it almost comes in your head on adaily basis so I think everyoneeveryone's going to lose some worth somestage that's just the way the worldworks you know we haven't worked out howto survive forever and I lost aboutseven people within 18 months no friendsor familybut prior to that I'm not really lost noone so for me is like here soul and soulhas lost their granddad or the grandmaand I feel sad but that was it it wasvery short-livedwhereas now yeah that whole death thingI suppose it does scare me because Ithink I don't know if this is my lastday hence why I try and like bust my assand work as much as I can to make surethat if I was to leave today I've leftthe world in a better place yeah if thatmakes sense so is motivation it is rightit is you become more instantly you feellike most things scarier and what was itkind of saying now she was likeobviously once I lost my dad I felt likeI needed to do everything fast needed tobuy have sat down rah-rah-rah all ofthese things because she doesn't knowhow much time you've got and that'sthat's unfortunate thing of this wholerealizing mortality send you in a rushyeah that's where the anxiety sets inyeah whatever nothingness by then thatresonates with me so much because I feelI've got so much to do so many people Iwant to help and I'm like I could begone tomorrowand it scares me yeah so you're tryingto rush into it everything yeah and Iknow that's probably not the right placeI I follow of course it's not yeah butwe know we know this for your towerwe'represident absolutely well yeah thatthat's what she was saying if she feltlike oh my dad died at this age am Igonna die at this age now yeah I'vegotta do this I gotta do that harsh inorder to this yeah and in reality you'vegot all the time in the world reallyyeah but in that moment in thatchanneling yeah we exact it in your headyeah but you can't get out of its it's aparent and that's the UMthat's mortality isn't it do you followGary Vaynerchuk a little bit yeah wellhe started to grind on me after was ityes he's a mob like Jota but one of thethings he says he's really good is hesays you should be impatient in there inthe micro I either short-term or patientfor the macro for the long-term whichwhen I think about it and why he says itmakes sense so it's like yes you shouldwork absolutely like 100 percent everysingle day as if it's your last day butstill know your goals that you want toachieve and stuff are gonna take longera bit like I suppose bodybuilding forexample yeah you're now on a cot forexample to get t-they it's not gonnahappen no matter how hard you traintoday you're not going to get to thatbody today yeah even if you've had thebest I ever today something happen butwhat you can do is absolutely crush itright now and then tomorrow repeat nextday repeat and then all of the suddenyou will you will get there as well yeahso like that's one thing he says thatreally resonates with me yeah but likeyou said when you get that level ofanxiety and it it overwhelms you it'sdifficult to think you're like you'renot thinking there's no claritybasically your thoughts yeah yeah andwhat what people need to realize likeyou're in control of these thoughts youcan still control them you've justyou've gone down a path where you thinkyou can't control them do you know Imean except every four is well withinthe control we just don't know it likewhen you're in that bad patch yeahthat's right and that's what I learnt aswell and that was with the bereavementcounselor yeah yeah that's powerful butlike you are in control of your thoughtsit's just a belief that you're not thatmeans you're leaving that you're notwhen you are should we were before wewere beforebefore we had events and one not so manyI think about it a lot we were kids thethoughts we have you're invincible youknow we were going toKaizen our heroes why can't we have thatan absolutely because somewhere alonglife somebody's told you you can't dosomething or you've fallen down andrather as a kid where you keep gettingback up you've actually said you knowI'll stay down we're just going theopposite way yeah yeah that's a problemin it and it does take certain thingslike these events traumatic events andother events in your life that obviouslymake up your thoughts do you know itmeans in your beliefs your beliefs arethe one you start believing certainthings about the world and yourself thatcomes out in your actions and yourbeliefs are just a combination of thethoughts yeah cause this is why you'vegot a control everyone everyone's gotdifferent millions of ways it's not justus yeah of coursetrust me when you get to a deepconversation with someone you reallyknow what the thinking about you theyactually thinking that you know I meanso you know we're not alone with thatthat's what we've got and you are youare in control you've just got to tryyour best to control them it's a goodaffirmation tough so I do affirmationsin the morning as wellso I say stuff like I'm no longeranxious I'm not shy yeah yeah I thinkyou have to consciously make the effortwhich is a viewfinder so you have toconsciously make yeah yeah because ifsubconsciously I'm I'm not in I'mpotential everyone has to do this yeah Ican't see how you can you cannot do it Ithink everyone does do it but we assumethe people at the top like you knowyou're Dwayne Johnson you're Kevin Hartcelebrities they don't do it but theydid Wayne Johnson suffers yeah dad yeahreally badly rock is that everyone'sIdolit's amazing mean yeah and you are youare approaches of your your thoughts youare you are your thoughts on powerful meyeah but like people need to understandyou can't control them yeah if you wantto if you just let them spoil problemsisn't it absolutely yeah but whatthey've got understand if you do have aday like that that's fine push it intothe car but that's all and as well areyou better start to continue to beatyourself up for another few weeksthat lifestyle enough disease we've realsaturations and without you behind somehorses or absolute making up these theseproblems yeah which is what humans tendto do we can we can sabotage ourself asmuch as you want but we don't tend to doto us so why should we do it toourselves but we Dukes it's easyit's true though innit nice I'm notgonna say to you what's going on in myhead about I won self-sabotage myselfthen say the same stuff to you it'sdeeper nasties or what to do yeah yeahisn't that weirddo you know what I mean what so why whywhy why do we think it's right to do itto us ourselves he's probably the mostimportant at the end of the day I'm yessir if you think about it logically weare actually the most important peopleto ourselves yeah so yeah but it's it'seasy and it's easy to say to yourselfit's no one's gonna question okay we'regonna go in three two onewhat did you eat for breakfast squats ordeadlifts squats the ability to fly orbe invisible fly if your favourite cheapmeal Peter when your fame money yourproudest moment getting into the camhere everything your favourite food foryears number one health to staydisciplined biggest Fitness to me thereare certain foods that convert backyeah definitely achieve your number onegoal this year travel more your favoriteTV show ever sons of anarchywould you rather know how you will dieor when you were dying when yourfavorite hobbies Jim if you could sitwith one person in the world for an houryou would it be oh my dinero your worstfear is a child dinner for your favoriteplace in the world okay if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it bemurdering your favorite song ever deathmatchorder number read boys or predict thefuture three times your favorite superEurope Batman why his minds oh yeahwho's badasses yeah he's IV I'm finallyyour biggest sprint organization okayfantastic so the next question we'realmost at the end actually it's aboutreflection so not really exactly whatyou don't know because obviously nowyou've worked on your physical healthyour mental health you're in a muchbetter place so nobody exactly what youknow now if you could go back to a timewhere you were struggling or maybe ayounger version of yourself and youcould whisper something in that person'sear just to kind of make their lifeeasier I suppose growing up what wouldyou say it will passit will pass 100% it will pass me I'llget bad you've got you've got to gothrough this to grow and it will passvery difficult to see the time yeahimpossible to sing yeah yeahwhat it will party will pass a lot thatthis isn't last forever yeah nothinglasts foreveryeah so I'll have to send you a podcastafter this made their little EastBhagwat similar kind of thing and theguy on it he was talking about chaos andhow he just flipped the script in hismind to say he enjoys the chaos becauseof high resilience and how much strengthhe's gonna build from it and how muchknowledge whereas a lot of us were kindof trying to avoid pain and stuff wherehe's that bring me down because I knowin six months time I'm gonna be muchyeah yeahyou almost let it enter right buddywe're actually at the last question nowso the last question I always ask myguess is if in a 150 years time sciencefails to save us all and all that existsis a book on the table and that book isabout you and it's about your life andall of the great and wonderful thingsthat you aspire to do you want to do youknow you've done it but in order to makesomebody pick that up what would onethat I will say and two what would thesummary at the bat tell us about you tieit would be something along the lines ofnever give up the summary of my likewhat yes I think about this wait there'sthere's somebody gone to a book storeand they're looking at all these booksand they've turned it around now youneed to make them want to pick it up tobe like oh that's quite interestingactually that sounds interesting so alittle bit about yourself maybe thethings you want to achieve how do youwant to be remembered but I just wantedto say that you'd want to meet as manypeople as you can make a positiveimpression with everyone you come intocontact with never give up on anythingyeah until it's completely done and justkeep trying to live in the momentkeep trying to live in the moment that'sthe only one you can control and justkeep do what you want to do not whatpeople what you have to do do what youwant to do because there ain't no timefor nothing else really absolutelyreally I think I'd pick it up yeah yeahyeah definitely me I appreciate so thankyou for that that brings us to the endof the show now but before we leave andI close it off I just want you to givethe listeners a chance to obviouslyconnect with yourself so I will put allof this in the show notes anyway so youcan literally click on it by any appthat you listen to this one but where'sthe best place to contact you mobile oremail okay I don't know if you want toput your mobile direct down here yeah myInstagram okay choose your Instagramyeah yes let's go for it yeah it's a liro eight nine eightokay fantasticup or down the shoulders or you wantlike snapchat Facebook anything likethat or a more I don't really use okay Iuse Facebook obviously just type in AlexRoberts okay then there should be anaked man obviously yeah that's theprofile of course you person did butyeah those two platforms okay brilliantthank you I just want to say thanksagain to Alex for children to the Shonanand for everyone else thanks forlistening and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 18- "On the other side of adversity" - Tiana Barnwell #18Tagline: "I don't want my story to be about my struggle...I want it to be Tiana Barnwell helped people, she came back, she gave back, she did it."Tiana Barnwell is a shining example of what determination and focus can bring you. With a vision at 7 years old to go to Spelman College she achieved graduation via a few years in foster care (kinship) disrupting her life but never stopping her achieving her dreams. As stated in the subtitle, less than 3% of foster care children graduate from a 4-year college degree so its a shining example to all those out there, anything is possible. With such a wise head on her shoulders and a why that far exceeds her own personal goals Tiana is destined for stardom in helping people through her real estate dreams. Now graduating with job offers from Goldman Sachs she pursues her next adventure and continues to grow and shine a light on the world.I urge you all to follow this incredible story and women who will be a household name sooner rather than later.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Twitter: https://twitter.com/_tkvnggInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/_tianakv_/?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=xsp7wlt6vctqHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the showso today's story is one that is veryclose to my heart and I'm sure a lot ofyou will resonate with this story yousee I was on Twitter a few weeks ago andI read this devastate in fact that only3% of children who go into foster careactually come out with a degree now Iwas very very excited and actuallyremember jumping up in bed when Ireached out to this individual and I gotan instant response because Icongratulated Tiana having read that shewas one of those three percents whoactually graduated and so she'seffectively gone from foster care toGoldman Sachs which is the company whohave actually taken her on and I was soproud of heryeah at this time I had no idea who shewas I knew nothing about it personallynow the reason it touched my heart isbecause four of my siblings have comefrom the foster care system and it'ssomething where I try and be an advocatefor him maybe through this show maybe inpersonal life as well where I want themto know that there are no limits and noboundaries on what you can achieve inlife and Tiana is a shining example ofthat and I hope you genuinely enjoy thisepisode because you see a girl here withso much passion and enthusiasm forwanting to change the world she's alsofrom New York so it was always great toget somebody from overseas on here andalso to give them a platform wherehopefully this can help her in terms ofraising her profile inspiring otherchildren but I urge you to stay towardsthe end of the show because she sayssomething that's really really importantand it really made me think afterreleasing this show because obviouslytiles are important and getting you guysto listen to the stories and engage isimportant and she says something at theend that really made me think about howshe wants to be remembered so hopefullyyou enjoy it without further ado we'regoing to jump straight into it and justlet me know your thoughts in relation toher final words thank you okay welcometo the show and today I am very gratefulto have Tiana on the show today somebodywho actually reached out to veryrecently haven't seen her stories sofirstly I just want to welcome Tiana tothe show Turner welcome and how are youdoing today I'm doing well blessed andhighly favored thank you are you doingtoday I'm very well thank you as wellthank you no Tiana is actually from NewYork I believe is that correct yes I'mfrom New York but I currently go tocollege in Atlanta Georgia okayfantastic so I think it's reallyimportant obviously for the listeners ofthis show to hear a little bit aboutyourself a little bit about your storybecause for me personally I've got asoft spot for your story but I thinklet's tell the audience a little bitabout yourselfso I'm Tiana I was born and raised inNew York and I currently attend collegestomache College in Atlanta Georgia so Ididn't really get here the easiertraditional way I was actually placed inthe foster care when I was in highschool my freshman year of high schooland with that came a lot of baggagethere were court dates there weretherapy deeds there was just there's somuch baggage that came along with beingplaced in the foster care and it kind ofdiscouraged me a little bit fromapplying to my top choice which wasfilming I kind of just wanted to stay inNew York just relax just just get outand and kind of just just be me andinitially I before I was placed in thefoster care I had not really toldanybody what was going on in my life Iwas just kind of just going to schoolgoing home occasionally staying with myaunt sometimes and finally I decided tospeak up and speak out about what wasgoing on and that led to me being placedin foster care and I wasn't in fostercare and what it's not a typical storywhere I was placed in foster care at theage of twoor something like that was placed infoster care about 14 and I the main goalwas to return the parent so what I hadto do is I just got a therapy with mymom go to therapy alone as well and justwork through the issues that were goingon and fortunately I was able to returnthe parent and my mom and I have such agreat relationship right now so have yougot any siblingsyes I do have two sisters okay in thehouse with my mom and I and my fatheralso has children so I have about tenSidley okay and in terms of going intokinship ie foster care was thatsomething that was only yourself or wasit also the same with your siblings aswellI'm just I was placed into foster careactually okay well I think the positivething is what you touched on at the endis that you've got a great relationshipwith your birth mother how was your stayand experience with in foster care so myexperience was it was good becausebecause it was kinship care I was ableto stay with my art I did have to meetwith a social worker every week and Idid have to do certain things like go totherapy speak with a life coach and thefoster care agency I was actually reallyamazing there the New York foundling Imean they provide they providedeverything I could ever need so I had atherapist I had a doctor who I couldalways go to who was actually located inthe same facility as my therapist andthen I had amazing social workers whowould come check on me and not onlycheck on me but make sure thateverything with my well-being was okaymake sure that was meant to be okay andeven just take me out and and just talkto me and also they provided a lifecoach it was so amazing because I wasable to talk about different goals thatI had and being able to to just try andgrow as a person so I think for anyonelistening now Tiana you probably don'tknow this yourself I was actually asocial worker for a very short amount oftime as well oh yeah so I mean thereason I reached out to you is obviouslyI explained earlier for my siblings comefrom the care system so I gave upmy initial job as a project manager tobecome a social worker to kind of Isuppose change the world and try andhelp children in your situation or inworse situations I mean I'm sure you'veheard the horror stories so I have a lotof admiration for social workers sadly Ithink especially in this country they'rethey're put under a hell of a lot ofstress and it's a very very difficultjob so I'm just glad that you managed toget some good social workers who wereable to obviously help you help youdevelop as you explained earlier so if Imay I mean that's giving me a little bitabout yourself what would you likegrowing up because for me I thinkthere's got to be personality traitswithin you that have brought out somelevel of determination dedication interms of going on in and achieving adegree because I've done a degree andit's no easy feat so I think firstlycongratulations on that but thank youwhat was life like growing up was it wasit difficult or was it just this badspell around when you turned 14 prettymuch an average life I moved around alot so I was able to make friends thebad spell did just happen when I turned14 and that's when things kind of gotdifferent but as a child I was alwaysdeterminedI always knew what I wanted like Iwanted to go to Spelman since I wasabout seven and I knew that I had goalsthat that were bigger than them being anastronaut or being being something ofthe such I knew I wanted to do somethingthat that was gonna make a difference inthe world and like like I currently havemy goals and everything and then when Iturned 14 that's when I kind of just wasunsure myself and I was well I don'tknow what to do I don't know if I'mgonna do what I actually want to do Idon't know if I'm gonna go to the schoolI actually want to go to so that's whenI all of the kind of negative thoughtsset in and crept in and I was able totalk them out like through therapy andeverything and kind of just say wellthis is hard for you and this is whatI'm going through you know I had so muchI had so many goals I wanted toaccomplish I had so much in me that Ijust wanted to get out and spread andfrom between the ages of like 14 to 17it was really hard for melashing out and just not being thequestion that I was destined to be okaywell that's interestingfirstly I think you've got a very wisehead for a 21 year old to be writingdown your goals and having such bigaspirations I know when I was 21 thelast thing I was thinking about was mygoals it was more about where's the nextpie or what we do tonight so it's niceto know that obviously you yes you'vebeen through adversity during the periodof 14 to 17 but I think it's importantthat we stress especially for thelisteners here that the importance ofgoal-setting and this is something Isuppose I do now as a slightly older manis writing down your goals because Ithink there's a power when you writedown your goals and especially yourselfyou knew that you wanted to spreadsomething else you knew you had thesegoals where you really wanted to make adifference in the world similar to whatI'm trying to do here in this podcastcould you share any of those goals ifyou wouldn't mind yes so my main goal isto actually open a chain of hotelsinternationally I'm starting in Trinidadand I want to do hotels because hotelsare not going anywhereeven with disruptors like Airbnb VRBOand things of that naturehotels are always gonna be around andthey can always adapt to fit ontoplatforms such as Airbnb and hotels orsomething that is that is gonna bring ina lot of money and I and I need requiresfinancial stability because once thehotel is thriving I'm gonna be able toput some of that revenue back into thecommunity that the hotel is located inabout four to five percent of my revenuefrom that hotel and then I also want totake about six to eight percent of therevenue and bring it back to communitieslike the one I'm doing in New York orsome of the communities that I seearound Atlanta so that way I can createeconomic stimulation in environmentswhere people don't really have all ofthe resources they need so I want toopen up job centers recreation centersand park so that everyone in a communitycan benefit from this hotel that I haverather than whether they're young or oldor unemployed or employ and just havea backbone unity in the community thetype of community that I grew up in nowthat's really my goal so that way so sothat way the community that I'm buildingin is benefiting and in the communitywhere I came from is benefitting so thatthere's no one left out that's soinspiringthat's incredible I'm sitting heresmiling I mean I know you can't see yetthen really I'll just say there's oneticket she caught me 21 just here and Imean actually giving me goosebumpsbecause there's a couple of thingsactually I want to touch on that sofirstly your awareness to themarketplace so I'm a property investoras well full-time so I also deal anddouble in air B&B and book it calm sothe fact that you're aware of theirpotential threats to the competition Isay as a hotel is fantastic I assumeyou're going back to Trinidad becausethat's where your roots are initiallyI've had some friends from there and wego at least once a year and visit and Ijust heard such amazing things and Iknow that the hotel industry is boomingover there especially with things likecarnival okay that's really interestingand then the fact that you still want tobring that back to where your currentcommunity is right now and that's in NewYork I believe yes communities that thatmean mmm I love that I love it it's it'sfunny you said that actually because Iwrote I was doing when I'm a Instagrampost this morning now I always try andsay like inspirational motivationalstuff and a lot of the reasons I do thatit's kind of like must me talking tomyself if that makes sense so I'll throwsomething out into the atmosphere andit's kind of just me basically trying tomotivate myself in that moment if thatmakes sense and one of the things I saidtoday was like I think it's an old quoteis be the change that you want to see inthe world and I just get that from youthat what you're trying to do is tryingto create this almost like a ripplebutterfly effect within your communityand I just think that's really reallyinspiring and I'm sure people listeningto your story and watching you do theseamazing things which Tom I'm confidentyou're gonna do I think it'd just be bewonderful to see thank you thank you somuch absolutely so I'm quite eager tofind out aboutpeople in terms of their routine and thereason I'm very sort of focused onroutine is because I believe motivationwears very thin in life and I thinkdiscipline is very very importantespecially if you want to achievesubstantial goals a bit like yourself socould you just kind of give us a day inthe life of tiana and the kind of thingsthat you do maybe that younger peoplelistening to you now who maybe want tofollow your footsteps or takeinspiration from your story can perhapsimplement well so my daily routine I'maway at school right now so I don'treally have to say anything day-to-daybut I do start my day the same way everyday and what I do is as soon as I openmy eyes I checked the time and once thesame prayer I say you know good morningDonald thank you for putting life intomy body for breathing air into my lungsfor putting a beat into my heart andthen from that from there I go on I talkto God about different things I want toaccomplish throughout the day I talk toGod about my friends about my familyonly just different things just so thatI can maintaining and continue tostrengthen my relationship with God soafter that I get a find my clothes Ilived with my best friend on campus sotypically after I like get up andstretch and everything I walk into herroom she thanks God for open your eyessister chat we talk it doesn't matterabout what we just talk and we get likeenergy flowing happiness flowing goingand some marriages do my daily routineto get ready and everything and then Igo outside and I I'm gonna mount us sotypically it's sunny I got outside and Isit in the side for as long as I canjust so that I have energy from the Sunjust so that I'm happy because you knowit's like instant happinessabsolutely absolutely really so I makesure I'm saying the Sun and I stand inthe specific spot on campus directly infront of the stomach college mouse in itand I talked to my friends they'll comejoin me or something like that and thenI just go about my day and stay hydrateddoing random word when the financethroughout the day I'm in my senior yearcurrently so a lot of my a lot of myrandom data bank finance are things justkind of the last-minute things I need tograduate like different surveys I haveto do different checklists I have tolook at things like thatand I always make time to spend myfriend starts and then throughout theday make sure I'm begging God throughoutthe day and focusing on my goals likewhenever I lose sight of why I'm doingsomething just say you know Tiana it'sbigger than this it's more than this socourse you know I just keep going justkeep going I love that I love it that'sso powerful I mean obviously your day today is gonna change once you fullygraduate and then you're going toemployment but I think there's certaincharacteristics you've said there suchas your gratitude and your goals andobviously that's probably through yourconnection with God way sort of portraythose I think that's really reallyimportant it's something that I'vestarted doing recently myself I wake upevery morning and I write three thingsthat I'm grateful for and then I willlook at my goals and I just thinkespecially in life when life doesn'talways go the way we planned just havingthat rooted at the start of the day it'sonly helps move us forward so I thinkthat's really really powerful that youdo that so when things are going badthen if we just go back to that in thatperiod say for instance where you were14 to 17 you were feeling lost slightlyoff track I suppose in your life wasthis gratitude element of your lifesomething that you kind of sidelined orwas she just very difficult with all thetoil more that was going on honestly itwasn't there okay it wasn't there I wasjust wake up go to schooljab court no drug therapy okay what Ihave to do today is like I wanting itfor example a sophomore year and the endof freshman year I played sports so Iwas like can I even go to practice todayor do I have to do something else ohgreat I have to do something elseperfect let me just tell coach I can'tmake it again and there was just kind oflike frustration like you know I can dothis I have to do that alright I'm justready to go to bed I just want to go tosleep juice like the only place I reallywant it to be one school and there wouldbe points where I couldn't go to schoolbecause I had to go to court orsomething it's a I've to go to court ormaybe the doctor to get checked out orsomething like that and all I wanted todo was go to school I have a good timewith my friends and see my friends andmy favorite teachers okay okay that'sinteresting so again something I justwant to pick out there the thing thatkeeps you rooted now and so focused interms of achieving your goals wasmissing during those four years yeah andthis is an important thing so I alwayswhen I work with people I try and getthem to have some sort of good routineie through discipline so for exampleworking out staying hydrated beinggrateful and I think these thingsalthough they might seem tedious atfirst if you let them slip by thewayside life can kind of become a bitchaotic and I know myself especiallywhen I'm up in the morning I try and getthese small wins in first thing in themorning and that certainly helps meI suppose tackle the day and I thinkyou've probably noticed that Nabal withyourself as well yeah okay so just goingback to the whole 14 to 17 year oldcommon I graduated looking at where youare now what would you tell a child whomay feel different who may recognizethat they're from or they've had to gointo kinship or foster care maybestruggling through that level ofadversity would you give them any sortof advice or is there anything that youthink you could perhaps recommend tothem so they don't really lose focus andgo down the path I suppose 97% of theother people do where they kind of fallback into the system again yes Idefinitely have advice when you when youstart to feel yourself like becomingsomebody who you know you're not that'swhen you got to step in and you got tosay you know what this isme this is not who I am this is not howI act and you have to really just catchyourself you have to you have to be ableto take notice when you're changing andfrom that point that's when you need tostart talking to yourself that's whatyou need to start writing your goalsthat's when you need to start planningthings and once you start planning andonce you start talking to yourself andonce you start talking to other peopleas well that's when things are gonnachange you're gonna want to set goalsyou're gonna want to have hope you'regonna want to think long term one thingthat really helped me was thinking longterm I knew that I wanted to get toSpelman and for for a few years I didn'tlose sight of stomach but once Irealized Spelman is where I want to beand I know Stormin is right where I wantto be that's when I was able to get thehelp I needed us and I was able to talkto people and do exactly what I neededto do to get this film and despite likebig years I've struggled in the yearsthat I didn't really have what it whatit took to get me to spell it I mean youalso gotta just be prepared because it'svery difficult it's difficult because itseems like you're all alone it seemslike you're not you don't have anyone inyour corner you don't know what's goingon you don't know what's coming next butyou always have to have hope and youhave to have faith you have to doesn'tmatter which God and pray to you have tohave faith in you have to try toestablish a relationship one thing thatI can say is I didn't really have arelationship with God that day I reallydidn't get such a strong relationshipwith God until I got to college that'samazing that's erm that's really usefulthank you for sharing that so there's acouple of things I've just taken fromthat is the first one is obviouslyhaving hope or faith and I think you hitthe nail on the head there it doesn'tmatter what God you believe in I thinkjust having faith in a better future ina better circumstance or not an outcomesomewhere in the distant future is goingto keep you inspired and I think youtouched on it earlier as I when you saidTiana this is bigger than you and Ithink when you have a purpose that'smaybe slightly bigger than yourself thatcan keep you going as well definitelythat's really really important butanother thing you touched on there and Isuppose I can relate to it to somedegree is when you saidfeeling of being alone and I can relateto children in the care systemespecially within the UK because I feelthat do you feel that they're alonesometimes and there might notnecessarily have that support networkand I assumed you obviously had a verygood network around you I know you saidyou had good social workers you had alife coach how was your friends or yourextended family within that time as ohdid you have a good community there aswell who served as my foster mom throughkinship care I had a great relationshipwith her and with my grandmother and Imaintain the relationship my sister ummy extended family they didn't reallyknow too much about what was going on soI did rely on my relationship with thefamily that I had in New York and I relyon the relationship with my therapist aswell you're probably fortunate that youhad that relationship there because yournetwork can determine your situation somuch if you've got a bad Network thenobviously you're almost destined forfailure I suppose yes yes okay so whereyou are right now things are obviouslygoing the way that you wanted to you hadthis dream from a seven-year-old thatyou want to go to Spelman you had alittle bit of a wobble in between butwhere you are right now you've pickedyourself back up you're now focused youfound God you find this new sense ofbelief what in this current moment nowscares you I'm graduating in 33 days andwhat scares me is that I won't be readyI'm not prepared to go into this worldand live as an adult and handleeverything that comes along with beingan adult that's that's one of my biggestfears right now I'm kind of I've been onthis campus for four years I'm kind ofscared of course no man has prepared mefor everything and they've given me thelessons that I need to go anywhere butI'm still afraid of what's waiting forme outside of these gates beyond filmingand ex-kgb cable of course I plan forthis is my I'm trying to get out of hereI gotta graduate but there's next yearif something that's so unknown I've beenin school my entire lifeand I'm leaving and starting somewherenew I'm sorry fries I'm just I'm cuttingthat that's my favorite I'm gonna failI've been waiting so long to get hereand I'm gonna leave the gates yeahthat's so interesting that you say thatbecause here you are having this dreamas a seven year old you know literallyon the cusp of you've achieved it you'vedone it now all of a sudden you've gotthis new sense of fear and I suppose onethat shows your vulnerability which ithink is it's nice that you're you'redisplaying that because I think whatevertransition you go through in life it'san element of growth and you can neverreally be ready for growth so it isdaunting whether it's getting marriedwhether it's having a child or whateverthat particular circumstances but fromthis very very short encounter withyourself let me tell you something youare a hell of a lot more intelligentthan I am I seem to do okay after Igraduated I went to university twice soI went back to study my Social Workmasters again at transitions so youremotional intelligence is fantastic Ithink also you have an advantage and youshould always remember this is that thelife lessons that you've been througheven during that short period of timefrom 14 to 17 to 21 it's built a levelof resilience in you that you may notknow that you have yet but I amconfident that if you continue yourfaith in God and your spirituality andyou keep having these goals to producethese incredible hotels in Trinidad youwill be absolutely fine you've gotnothing to be afraid of you're very veryintelligent thank you so much that meansso much hopefully in about six monthstime I want to get a message from youwhether it's on Twitter or Instagram andjust tell me how easy is because I'msure you're gonna fly wherever you goabsolutely I'm looking forward tohopefully we maybe get you back on aswell just to kind of see the word thatyou're doing as well so that would befantastic as well absolutely so Isuppose we kind of touched on this nextpart a little bit I'm always fascinatedby the way people think and one of thethings with myself is I have this crazything where I motivate myself bythinking about the worst things that canever happenso I call it morbid nightmares and Iwill wake up in the morning and I wouldthink of likethe worst thing that could possiblyhappen and what that does is it kind ofshifts my ass into gear to go out thereand seize the day and really try andmake a difference try and help as manypeople as I possibly can and really tryand leave nothing to chanceso that's just my kind of thing thatkeeps me motivated what kind of thingsin this current moment right now keepyou motivated to go out there and buildthese hotels and then change the worldI'm not gonna get employment aftercollege so maybe I should get up so Ikind of use days where I'm kind ofslacking I don't know I gotta go to thisclass because if you don't go to thisclass then you're going to fail and ifyou fail then you can't graduate if youdon't graduate you're letting your oldfamily down if you let your family knowyou're still gonna be at Spelman foranother semester and somebody has to payfor Spelman for another semester whichis not gonna it's not gonna fly withanybody so I'm not yelling me didn't getout of bed her name is MIA okay andshe's actually so when I was in kinshipcare she was in the house as well she'smy daughter okay um and she's reallysomeone that keeps me going becauseshe's she looks up to me and she's oneof my favorite people in the world Imean and I'm I'm really excited cuz sheactually let me want to spell me but Isee you know this shot is so bright andI know that she looks up to me I knowthis child is so destined for great newsmy under sisters she's eight yeah it'snot setting you of course Ohbut my younger cousin is 17 and I got Iwant to be there for her and I want herto continue to look up to me I want herto see me and say you know what that'sFiamma this is my family I wanted to gobeyond what I'm doing I want her to bebetter than me stronger than me and andI just love her so much I just love thatso I've got three points I want to touchon just from your answer there so thefirst one is it's nice to know I'm notthe only person thinking of morbidnightmares in the morning so there's youand me there so that was fantasticbecause it does really help I mean Isuppose some people have afight-or-flight response and knowingyour personality is probably similar tomine that we have all these kind ofmorbid nightmares or thoughts and thenall of a sudden we fight it as opposedto running away from it so I thinkdepending on your personality I choosewhich way to go the second thing is I'msure Mia is so proud of you and I'm sureyou're a great great role model to herso you should be very proud of yourselfthat you have someone who looks up toyou and I'm sure you're doing anincredible job with that the last thingthat I really love that you said isthere's a brilliant quote and the quotesays they want you to do good but neveras good as them right and I I get thatbecause I see it so often within likethe industry and I suppose when you gointo corporate world or whatever you doin life you're gonna you're gonna seepeople who will help you up and in themoment they might see you surpassingthem they will automatically eitherswitch off or their will their won'thelp you as much if that makes sense andit's beautiful thing that you want Mirto be stronger than you to be betterthan you because that's exactly how I amwith my siblings so my siblings are allyounger than me and my dream in life isfor them to have it all figured out bythe time they hit my age today and Iwanted more to be financially moresecure I wanted to be physically bettermentally better so it's just lovely tohear somebody say that and hopefully ifMia hears this back as well I sure knowhow important she is to you as well yeahabsolutely yeah just don't start cryingI can imagine you getting emotionalabout that's lovelywhat we actually do now is we go into alittle bit of a fun part of this show soif you're ready I'm gonna literally jumpstraight into that we're gonna start inthree two onewhat did you eat for breakfast water isthat it okay sorry doc the ability tofly or be invisible your favoritesubject at school money your fame playyour proudest moment your favorite foodprayer words Netflix or YouTube Netflixyour number-one goal this yearfavorite TV show ever would you ratherknow how you would die or when you weredying how your favorite hobby love ormoney love books or movies if you couldsit with one person in the world for anhour who would it be your worst fear asa child being forgotten words what isyour biggest addiction my phone yourfavorite place in the world that'soutside speak or languages will be ableto speak to animals if you could abolishone thing in the world what would it beand finally your favorite song ever umit's called it's supposed to be afavorite song okay okay I've not heardthat one but I've just written it downso I check it out afterwards alrightI'll check it out anyway okay brilliantso back to the interview part we've gottwo more questions I would really wantto ask you so knowing exactly what youknow now Tiana with all the knowledgeand all the wisdom that you've acquiredin your short 21 years on this earth ifyou could go back to a time let's use 14as an example where things had juststarted to take a turn probably for theworst knowing what you know now and youcould whisper something to a youngerTiana at 14 years old what would you sayI would tell her to keep fighting keepfighting keep trying and I gave up for aperiod of time so I would stress don'tgive up just keep going you know asas instead of finding Nemo just keepswimming just keep swimming and I wouldI would tell me that I'll say it's allworth it it all works out and you justhave to keep going and keep pushing keepstriving I love it just keeps him inNemo style I love it okay brilliantsuddenly that actually brings us to thelast question and the last question I'llagain always ask my guess is if in 150years time science fails to save us alland all that is left is a book and thisbook is about Tiana and it's about yourlife and everything that you've achievedall the wonderful hotels and everythingamazing that you've done in the worldfirstly what would the title of the booksay and then secondly if the person wasto turn over to the back what would ittell us about you I think the titlewould be on the other side of adversityor life not according to plan and theblurb on the bag would kind of theywould talk about it would talk about mygreatness as opposed to like everythingthat I've been through my struggle wouldbe such a small portion maybe twosentences but I really want my story tofocus on not what what I was able toaccomplish and who I was able to helpand how my plan my businesses were ableto give back and create something invarious communities and multiplecommunities across America I don't wantit to be this girl was in foster careand she made it out and now this is whatshe did I wanted to be Tiana bond willhelp people Tiana bar wolf came that shecame back she gave back and she was shewas there hmm I don't want my story andfoster care to be the main focus in mylife I just love that I think that's soso powerful and I think so many kidsfrom foster care or people that havebeen through so much adversity probablywant the same thing so thank you forsharing that actually because that'swhat I think the world should have moreof but I think we're also in a societywhere if you say TR and Obama came fromfoster care and achieve this it kind ofsells more papers it gets more retweetsit gets more teachingwell I think is brilliant because justthinking about this episode that we'vejust recorded now it's been a very happyinspiring episode and I'm very gratefulfor you taking that approach as well andsteering the episode that way as opposedto we could sit here we could cry aboutthe year of what it was like going intokinship care for example but insteadwhat you said is this was a wobble in mylife you reflected on it you realizedthis was the person that you wanted tobecome the person that Tiana was meantto become is kind of strive and do somany more amazing things and you managedto change that you change your habitsyou went to university you're nowgraduating and I just think I stand hereand I mean to be honest we're completestrangers but I'm just very very proudof how far you've come and once again Ithink you're gonna do amazing thingsthank you for sharing your story thankyou thank you so much for reaching outthank you for giving me the opportunityto come on podcasting and talk and youknow potentially touch so many peoplewho are in a place where I wasabsolutely I think we should allactually take one great lesson from whatyou've just said is that we shouldn'tjust look at people for theircircumstances or how they're positionedin a family we should rather look attheir greatness that they already havewithin them and I and I've tried to dothis with my siblings as well becausethey all have their own unique skillsand like talents and I think you'veshared a very very valuable lesson thereso before I close the show Tiana what Iwant to do is give people an opportunityto maybe interact with you who havefollowed this story who resonate withyour story to maybe follow you onInstagram Twitter or whatever othersocial media platforms that you use soif you wouldn't mind could you pleaseshare some of your platforms yes so myInstagram is underscore CIA and a K Vunderscore and my my Twitter underscoreTK V in Gigi okay fantastic what I willdo is actually take the exact addressesand I'll put them into the show notes aswell so people can literally from theepisode click it and then follow you andhopefully engagevia that I think also if you wouldn'tmind as well let's keep in touch becauseif it's anything to do with real estateI'm always interested in perhapsinvesting or being a part of it andagain if there's any sort of socialenterprises or anything you want to dosocially I'd always try and find time totry and make an impact on that as wellso certainly please do you keep in touchI will I will definitely keep in touchwith you an amazing yeah yeah I thoughtI always like to try and mix it up buthonestly I just want to say once againthank you to you I want to also thankthe listeners at home thanks forlistening thank you and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a five star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 17- "Wonderfulness of Life" - Louise Blyth #17 Part 2Tagline: "Be the captain of your fate and master of your soul"Louise Blyth, is an incredible lady who has experienced losing the love of her life, George Blyth tragically from cancer. With cancer now affecting 1 in 2 families it is a common occurrence so many of us face in our day to day life. But unlike any other story Louise world took a massive turn upon the sad death of her spouse and soul mate.Experiencing a supernatural event during his last few days Louise beliefs, perceptions, outlook and whole world had been turned around where she found herself finding, what she describes as "the greatest love all of us could ever know"A 2 part special episode, this incredible story does not lean on an emotional tale which will have you in tears of sadness, despite its tragic theme. Instead, tears of happiness seeing someone recover from grief and finding a bigger purpose and understanding of her being in the world takes over the story's narrative and leaves you feeling rather refreshingly happy that in such a sad circumstance someone can continue their life in a positive, fulfilling way.Now a widow of 2 children, Louise has created The Wonderfulness of Life which focuses on, Happiness being a choice and a state of mind.I am sure you will all agree this story truly warranted two episodes and if anyone can take anything positive away from this, it is to cherish all the moments we have with our loves ones and find blessings in whatever cards we are dealt in life.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.thewonderfulnessoflife.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-blyth-207a7a49Instagram: https://instagram.com/wonderfulness_of_lifeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/louise.Blyth83Have an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice Iam the host of the show so this isactually the second part of a two-partepisode so if anyone has accidentallystumbled across this episode firstplease do go back and listen to part onewhich was literally I a couple ofminutes ago now this episode isincredible and I want to keep those whohave literally followed it from Part onestraight to this part keeping it in flowso I'm gonna stop talking on the jumpstraight back into it so Louise endedthe last episode by talking about howshe was in the presence of something shedescribed is almost supernatural so whatwhat happened at the point of his deathis I went from not believing in God tobelieving in gods in the space of a weekand that has changed my life as much asGeorge's death has changed my life whichhas in turn changed my daily practicesif that makes sense and my day is nowrooted in some practices around faithbecause of that because I've never beenmore certain that God exists say couldyou elaborate on that I mean I've got noproblem missing out some of my pointlessquestions because this is this is moreprevalent if you wouldn't mind so whatwhat would you like me to elaborate onthe which part of the story just to putcontext into one interested in thislittle bit in particularly I am anatheist and the reason I say I'm anatheist now is because I grew up as aSikh and I was very I say somewhatreligious and when I heard I had it in aspace of 18 months I lost seven people66 family members and what and onefriend and I had a very similar outburstinprivate which have never cheat on Normawhere I had the kind of it was like itwas like when you shake about sorryapologies I said when you shake a bottleof coke and then all of a sudden tellyou you know whenever you talk about Godyou always get interrupted that's sofunny that your favorite so good youcould touch a rafter with us so weird aswell because that's never happened in apodcast previously yeah whenever youtalk about God you always getinterrupted Wowfor me my logic is just simple it'sstick to science and it's if there was agod then kids wouldn't suffer kidswouldn't just be killed there wouldn'tbe all this horrible stuff happening inthem and I've kind of justified it thatway but I just want to bring thisstraight back to you yeah so like I saidyou know I was an atheist I didn'tbelieve in God I didn't think God wasreal I thought that you know so I'veobviously grown up in the UK where I'vebeen to school where I've learnt Biblestories so I knew some of the Biblestories I knew about Jesus but I didn'tthink Jesus was the son of God I thoughtJesus was a good guy from you know twothousand years ago he'd done some greatthings and maybe over time his his hisachievements have maybe kind of beenexaggerated is how I it's genuinely howI looked at you know the gospel in theNew Testament and you know religionwasn't something that featured in mylife at all so the very fact that I feltI felt like I had nowhere else to turnwas and the fact that I tend to God Imean I can't still explain what it waslogically that made me do that becauseat that point in time I wasn't my brainwasn't working in a logical way it wasall based on heart not on head if thatmakes sense in terms of the actions thatI was that was undertaking but what whatthen led me to believe that God was realwas incredibly powerful so essentiallyand I'm really mindful now that I'm notgoing to do this survey at this storyit's justice which is why I'm writingthe story down because essentially whathappened was I was introduced tosomebody who I didn't know through areally really good family friends whoasked if they could pray for Joewhich you kind of go okay that's notthat weird that's that's that's not thatodd but what happened was and what andwhat I've realized since I picked it isthat that introduction came after I'dmade this cry so after I'd made this crythis family friend got in touch with meand said look I've met this girl and sheseems to be like a really devoutChristian and she didn't she's shethinks that maybe there's some level ofof healing prayers that we can do forGeorge now what I didn't know at thatpoint in time was their healing is youknow central to all of the stories ofwhat what Jesus did in the New Testamentso obviously Jesus did a huge amount ofmiraculous things which I always talkabout to get my head around like thishow can this person be doing all thesethings okay but there's a lots ofstories in the New Testament where Jesusheals people who have paraplegic who areblind who have bled for 12 years allthese different things so healing isessential to Jesus and the way in whichJesus can work and again I knew non ofthis and this girl had offered to prayfor isn't and offered prayers of healingand at this point in time I'm literallylike I'll take anything I'll take anyone course to give us anything we wereso desperate and again to cut a reallyreally long story short we ended up in asituation when George was quiteliterally on his deathbed and it was itwas hideous our and like he was hedeclined incredibly quickly so again Idon't want to sort of put fear intopeople's heart because this is a storyof beauty but you have to understand thepain that he was in to be able tounderstand the beauty and the miraculousof what happened because he was in an inan inordinate amount of pain so hebasically after that day when I went outand told me he wasn't gonna die anytimesoona few days later was admitted tohospital and just went downhill dayafter day after day and it was it wasdisgusting to have to watch him I meanhe he was in he couldn't eat he couldn'tdrink because his liver was so enlargedit was basically pushing against hisesophagus and his stomach and pushingkind of bile out of his mouth 24 hours aday which I'm really mindful that thisis kind of like quite Gorian quitebrutal but it was awful I mean this thiswas a man that was that was broken infront of me you know the guy that hadeight weeks beforego to Paris and I and I was kinda likewhereas my husband like whom is he likehe looked he looked like death like hischeeks will concave he was so weak hewas crying the whole time he his mum setwith him in the hospital because he wasabsolutely terrified to be left alone itwas it was every parts again you know ifyou think of sort of movies and storiesit was all of what you've seen on TV andin a film around what you think it'sgonna be and worse I literally just feltnumb sitting on watching him and Iwanted to this is gonna sound reallyawful as well I wanted to put him downso I I remember I had never been abeliever in euthanasia and actually I'mnot now because of my spiritual beliefsI'm not a believer in euthanasia but atthat point in time he was so ill but Iremember just being in the hospitalthinking this is horrendous there mustbe something that someone can do how isthis okay yeah human can sit here inthis much mental and physical pain thatthis is not alright of course so andthat and that also led me to keeplooking into other things and I waslooking at like I actually looked atcould I even like get him in my car anddrive him to Switzerland where there's aeuthanasia clinic oh yeah I even lookedat that one point it was so desperate soin amongst all of this absolutedesperation this kind of narrative withGod continued and this girl who I didn'tknow who had met a friend basicallyoffered to come and pray with us inNottingham so she came all the way fromLondon on the train for the day ask fornothingand I met her in the in the canteen ofthe hospital and I remember so nervousmeeting her as I thought oh my god isshe gonna be at one of these reallyweird religious fanatics like is shegonna kind of try and brainwashers isshe is she a bit odd she can ask me formoney these are all of the thoughts thatI had in my head and I remember I satwith her and I said to have reallyreally once believed in the healing andsort of stories and and powers thatyou're speaking of I just I've got to behonest with you like I don't reallybelieve in God I just don't think thatGod's be all like her just think it canbe and she she had a Bible out and sheshe held my hand and she just said to melook you knowI've got enough face for his face likedon't you don't need to worry about thatlike just relax like I can carry youlike I can believe for you and I canbelieve for George is what she said tome which literally felt like someone hadlifted this way because I felt like Iwas lying a little bit as well kind ofthing I can try to pretend that Ibelieve in this thing I don't knowanything it might in case it might workyou know so that day we prayed in Georgeis really in which again I probablydon't have the time to tell you all ofthe detail of what happened but thisgirl who came and prayed is now a reallyreally good friend is something called aprophetic Christian and that means thatbasically they can hear God in a waythat not maybe everyday person can andthey can hear really really clear thingsfrom God sometimes absolutelycrystal-clear messages like what yourbank account number might be just a sortof prove a point you know and it is atthe time I remember they're thinkingthis is odd this is like psychicmediumship I'm not really sure how Ifeel about this so we did these reallyreally beautiful prayers with her andthen during the prayers basically sheshe said look I've got a word for youand at this point in time I was like howdo you know where it is like you knowwhat's word so I've got a letter for youfrom God and I remember wanting to laughout loud and it was this black comedymoment because my husband sat on a beddying and I'm there with this girl I'venever met before who's praying andtelling me that I've got a word which isbasically a letter that she's written tome from God and I was sat there thinkingyou know this girl's off her rocker youknow this is absolutely mental buthonestly Orin what was written in theseletters so she'd written a letter to meand she'd written a letter for Georgeand what was written in these letters orwas just so us it was someone the newour hearts it wasn't it wasn't someonethat had looked me up on Facebook orInstagram and gone oh you Louise andyou've lived in Windsor and you've livedin France and you you've worked here andyou've got two kids it was things aboutme small details that I thoughtinconsequential that God knew it was myheart he spoke to my heart that day so Iwas amazed the word that was written forGeorge was equally as amazing and thenthere was sort of several things thathappened after that maiming so we walkedof that room and after that moment whenshe came and prayed in the roomthe-the-the sort of atmosphere in theroom tangibly changed and it wasn't itwas the it was the sort of spiritualatmosphere if that makes sense it kindof went from feeling dark and heavy tofull of life of an openness and I I wasjust on my knees literally exhausted andI remember saying to carrying that Ijust love what you've done I don't knowhow you've done it but you have boughtsome peace and it was it was tangiblethe creep the peace that she brought onthat day because it was the first timethat I'd seen George sort of soothed ifthat makes sense in all of themedication and everything that you'vebeen given so I just kind of said to herlike we maybe need to do a bit more ofthis she said to me but you can pray youcan learn how to pray like they're goingI can't pray I don't even think Ibelieve in God I don't know how you praylike what do I do with my hands how do Istandwhat do I say like I don't know how todo this you're gonna have to find mesomeone else that knows what they'redoingand basically what then happened was thenext day I went into the hospital afterthat night when I went home and put mykids to bed and done all the other livethings I still had to carry on doing Itried to pray for the first time and I'dreally struggled and I couldn't do it Iwas like this just feels like I'm acomplete fraud I'd tried to kneel downin my bathroom I remember like kneelingdown in my bedroom and putting my handstogether and I'm thinking what do I sayI can't do this this is already odd andthen the next morning I got up went tothe hospital at all walked into thehospital and that morning when I went inGeorge was laid on his bed and the Sunwas beaming into the room like onto hisface and he's laying with his arms openand he looked at me and he smiled and hesaid to me no he's what they're givingme I feel amazingI just feel amazing and I just startedto cry but I knew in that moment that hehadn't been given anything and I wentand spoke to the nurse and the nurselooked at all of his you know detailsand said he's not had anything he hadsome morphine at 1:00 a.m. it was nowlike 11:00 in the morning and she waslike it was enough morphine to maybelast him a couple of hours he'sdefinitely not had anything so I wentback to his room and I didn't say to himyou haven't hadbecause I kind of thought I don't wanthim to know that he hasn't had anythingif he thinks that the effort that he'shad is making people better I justdidn't want to sort of distract him fromthe absolute peace that he'dmiraculously found and he literally laidon the bed that day and just said to meit's all gone the pain is gonethe fear is gone we'd had theseheartbreaking conversations the daybefore before this this girl had arrivedto complain with us about what we didwith the kids like to be bringing thekids in to come and see him to saygoodbye and it was probably this soundsreally awful it was less than the kidsbut it was more for him because we knewthat our children was so little thatthey wouldn't remember it and he and hewas really emotional about that becausehe just didn't think he had the strengthto say goodbye and he didn't think hecould do it and he said to me I just Idon't he said that everybody is here nowwith me you know and honestly he wasn'tthe kind of person that spoken this theyalready he was not a spiritual guy likehe layed on this bed so at peace andsaid to me everything now is in my heartthe boys are here my love for you ishere my love all of my family is hereand it's like a bright burning ball ofenergy that's never gonna go and I wasjust I was absolutely overwhelmedbecause I remember thinking who is thisperson that's laid here because this ismy husband but it's not my husband and Ireally liked what he was saying to mewas completely the tree so I knew thathe believed it you could see itphysically in his body and that thatthen propelled me to go okay there'ssomething in what we've done here thisprayer whatever this prayer thing isit's worked there's something in it thatwe've got to do more of it maybe thiscan help him and that triggered me thento start writing letters to God so I'dalready been writing letters to Georgebecause I've mentioned earlier I wasseeing a psychologist and she'd said tome look like how do you communicate Isaid look I like to ride she said whyshe can write write write about thetrauma journal about it and I'd beenwriting letters to George every day inhospital all the things that were on myheart that I wanted to tell him that hedidn't have the energy to hear becausehe was so sick but I needed to kind oflet bubble out of my system so that thatthat night I went home and I wrote myfirst prayer to God and then what whatensued was every time I prayed and wrotea letter the girl in London who I didn'treally know who that well at the exactmoment that I would finish praying wouldwrite a response so she'd write back andit would be like it would be a responseto the prayers that I wrote and shedidn't know that I was writing them itwas just the most unbelievably beautifulstory so we had this you know we hadGeorge laying on his death bed in thisstate of peace in this state of perfectbliss and he was quoting scripture okayso George never read the Bible oranything and he was talking to me aboutperfect love which is alone for John inthe gospel and so we had that going onso we had the sort of miraculous bodilyvisible you know George George has gonefrom being in pain to being at peace Ihad this girl that I didn't know who wassomehow supernaturally connected and insync with me responding to my prayersevery time I it was like that old TomHanks movie you've got mail I write Iwrite I write on my iPhone I ordered mr.for my notes on my iPhone and every timeI literally press turn on the top of mytop right while I faint screen I'd get atext it would be just like you knowscripture responses words that gottapush you is used to frame as this iswhat God's put on my heart so thathappened and then there was just thisunbelievablepresence in the room that everybody wasdrawn to sit everybody at the hospitalwas drawn to George's room which I nowknow was the sort of you know what wouldcall in Christianity the Holy Spirit itwas the Holy Spirit was there it justwas pulsating through the room and whatwhat I find interesting now is that Iknow that we all actually recognize thatif that makes sense but we don't realizethat we recognize it because it is in uswe just don't know it and and everyonewho was there you know some people werereligious some people weren't buteverybody knew there was something goingon if that makes sense that the onlyuniversal recognition was that there'ssomething bigger at play here at thehospital you know they said to me afterGeorge died like we wish everyone coulddie in this way like wewe could document it and process it soeveryone could have this des nurses werecoming in on their days off to sit withhim and just be with him becauseincredible presents were so calming itled to a great friendship that I've madewith a with a pastor of a church and notsomething that we now go to every weekas he he was basically the person thatthen came and prayed with us every daybecause I had sort of said to this girlin London you're gonna have to find mesomeone to pray with because I knew myfriends I wasn't a person he wasreligious and so yeah it was just theway I frame it to people is I lost thelove of my life but I've gained thegreatest love all of us can ever knowand it was just so incredibly beautifuland I'm still trying to pick the storytwo years later and question you knowhow why you know what does this mean allof those are the things but ultimatelyall I know is that God is real and Godis good and you know Jesus is real tooyou know all of the stories that happenin the Bible now I have now I've gotthis understanding of the supernaturalthat I saw in that hospital room I canread those stories with the lens ofacceptance that I never had before and Iunderstand them and get that they didhappen and but I think we just I thinkin the society that we live in now wewant everything to be like Amazon Primetimelines you know and actually whatI've also very knows is that the timingsof the supernatural and the holy spiritare just not linked to earthly timing soyou know I can never answer questionslike you know why did you need sevenpeople in a row why did I lose myhusband and then three months later hismother died she dropped dead andsimultaneously to my husband dying mydad was diagnosed with stage four canceryou know says we it wasn't like life wasbeautiful on any show yeah it reallywasn't but what I did what I do youthink I'm what I do maintain is thereyou know cancer is not god-given and ifyou look for God he's always there evenin the bad situations but the badsituations are not always given by Godyou know like it's man's got three willright and someand the way in which we behave in in theworld that we now live in is driven byall three well it's not driven by Godbecause he made us that way so yeah Wowgot goosebumps yeah just a remarkablestory this gonna be in your novel yeahthis is gonna be in my novel and whatwould be amazing so I'm actually doingsome edits at the moment so I'm hopingto get the book out this year that's thelast thing so it would be it would bereally cool to like speak again mightwants the books available so I can sayto people yeah because there's sothere's such steps is the story on saveme levels and I also I'm hugely mindfulthere you know like I I like they say Ican't believe what's happened to mebecause I kind of look at it and go whatwhy like why was all of this way it wentfor us but it was and it is and I justnow feel really strongly about the factthat I have to do something with thistale and with this story you need toraise awareness of cancer to raiseawareness of what it is to live withcancer that it isn't the end of yourlife to raise awareness of the fact thatdeath is it's gonna be something thathappens to all of us and could be themost unbelievably beautiful experienceyou ever ever imagined and they're alsoyou need death is at the end and thatGod's God is real and God is here foryou and and loves you but I alsorecognize that just because I say thatdoesn't mean that I can impart thatbelief into life yeah I mean your yourtruth is your truth and everyone's gottheir own kind of truth I'm always opento anything really I mean you've saidsome certain things there that makeobviously make me think because from aspiritual perspective I have sinned andI have tail as many of them of stuffsimilar oh yeah I'm absolutely incheering my spiritual stuff and evenlike in terms of psychics and mediumsand I'm going to find a tangent here butI do believe in that supernatural powerI suppose or just the whole the fairytale story of this person just oneperson they're kind of I don't knowmaybe I've just got the wrong image ofof God when I said it you knew what theywere and I think that that's the caselike I think go back to the point thatyou made earlier about we have thisvision of our life should all be verytomkostik and we meet the dream partner andwe get the dream house and we get thedream kids and we do things by certainages and I think we're all for whateverreason book to believe that God is aperson on the cloud somewhere and I meanI'm no theological expert you know I'mtwo years into my journey of faith andI'm still understanding the Bible andgetting my head around there and whatthat means to me and how I live my lifebut equally I kind of go it's not theway that I ever thought it was if thatmeans I should be passionate aboutbecause I kind of have now reflected onmy life because of everything that'shappened and gone well I mean what Godwas actually there the whole timeI just didn't know him I didn't know noI didn't know how he worked I didn'tknow how he communicated I mean I if I'mhonest as a feminist have a huge beefwith the fact that he's always referredto as a man I mean I'm not I'm notdisputing that Jesus Jesus was a manokay but but God you know God is what heis and that's what it says in the Biblelike he is not man he's not woman he heis what he is and but he is called a hebecause of the time in which the Biblewas written which is when you know menruled the world not in the way that notthat the hopefully not yeah there's acertain but you said that you lost thegreatest love of your life or you didthen find the greatest love that wecould all will ever know and I just yeahI was so powerful food for thought forme absolutely because there are that Ithink I think we could know how youmentioned in that room and I was kind ofimagining like almost like watching afilm you know when you see him you Jobsand then the sun's beaming and thenwe've all probably had that feeling ofeuphoria with this dis just isn't normallife let's something else is here yeahand I get that and if anything is weirdbecause although I sometimes say okay Idon't believe in God anymoreI believe in every other thing like allthese miraculous character things soit's kind of okay maybe again is just mylanguage that I use language because Ifind that so fascinating and I couldtalk to you for hours just on that andsome of this stuff I've seen people dolike how you mentioned he was speakingScripture and stuff I've seen peoplespeak a different language that they'venever heard of yeah yeah yeah whatyeah yeah yeah is amazing Wow I'm justI'm just so happy that it's such anunfortunate circumstance that you'vemanaged to find some level of happinessyeah life life can be found in therelike it really really and I I feel likeI've been given a second chance at lifethrough my husband's death which is sodesperately sad and you know my greatestwish is that I could have thisperspective with him by my side but forwhatever reason it wasn't meant to bethat way and I'll only ever know thatreason when I am living and having withhim you know so and until then I have tolive the best life I can and thehappiest life I can for me and mychildren because that's all he wantedfor us and that's what God wants for ustoo so I just kind of go you know whatit's my choice you know I can choose forthis to be miserable and this can breakme or I can choose for it to make me andI know how to do this let it make youand let it also inspire you to shareyour story with as many people aspossible yeah with the perspective youhave so yeah yeah that's fantastic Wowokay fantastic this is actually gonna bemy first ever tea pot podcast because Iit was almost too good for me to kind ofquit off so I'm gonna actually make it atwo part show okay I think we could fiteverything in two parts as well and yesit's fantastic so you're actually thefirst ever two-part show and it's beenworth it honestly yeah could justresonate with so many things I'm surethey listen as well as well yeah soadversity I think we've definitely hitthat yeah I'll on the head there amillion times over and I'm done like Isaid early I'm just so happy that you'rein a much better place now what now thennow that you've found God and you'veyou've almost found this new perspectiveI suppose what scares you now my biggestfear is not being able to live a faithfilled life so I I fear that I won'tthat something may happen that imbalanceis this faith because actually I feellike with my faith I can and nothingscares medoes that make sense my biggest fearwould be to not for whatever reason tonot believe in God anymore absolutelybecause of what you believe God hasgiven you yeah and God has for ISM forall of us so I kind of feel like withGod by my side I don't fear anythingfeel invincible I'm not so not to saythat it wouldn't be difficult andincredibly painful and all of those arethe things but I know that God would bewith me but if for whatever reason Ilost God or I lost my connection withGod that that's my greatest fear now tonot not have that okay I understand thatokay and in terms of so your motivationI suppose we kind of touched on itearlier in terms of persevering andgoing forward is that now to kind ofshare your message further and try andenlighten other people yes and why Isuppose my purpose now is to is to sharemy story so I always say to people Idon't wish the circumstances that I havefound myself in upon anyone it's beenhell to live through but what I do wishis the perspective if it's given me andI realize that I've always been likethis fast track version of life yeah sobecause I've had something so bad happento me it's maybe meant that it'sexploded in a way that's been so gooddoes that make sense yeah yeah maybethink about the situation logically andwhat I'm hugely mindful of and I knowI've said this already is I don't expectthat other people I mean you're gonnacome to faith with the same power andpassion that I have but for me if peoplelistening to my story and hearing metalk about what I've lived through canmake them maybe think about how theybehave with people that they know withcancer differently or lean in and helpthem better or think about what they cando to build their resilience muscle orultimately think about is there morelike what what isn't this life like whyam I here are you I mean ultimately youknow if I'm talking in corporatelanguage you know like my ultimateoptimum success would be that peoplefind God nutri through hearing my storyand then it kind of sparking a journeyof interest in themselves and kind ofwanting to to sort of know more andunderstand more but I think there'sloads of other stuff that it could sparkfor them as well so for me it's kind ofwanting to share the sadness of what'shappened to me to make people realizethey're you know there's so much life tobe lived and you've got so much more inyour tank than you ever know that you'vegot until you have to be in a situationwhere you're forced to use it soyeah that's fascinating that's why youwere saying that Episode five AshleyNixon I think you're really really resinL not I'm not trying to give you moneyFelicity yeah he was a boxer yeah and hefound God yeah look I've shared it withall of my it's incredible because thatone yeah okay like I said I mean I'mhere saying I don't necessarily believein God but that episode was so powerfulthat I remember I mean I didn't put itin the actual episode where I wasactually like screaming kind of like Iget it I get where you're kind of sayingyou know how you see put in the churchand they're all like yeah yeah yeah yeahI'm kind of getting that now withyourself and I'm just thinking they'reencouraging I think not be a greatconnection as well because I know he'sdoing fantastic things I think he mightbe up north now he's working yeah he'snot really on social media which buthe's just such a beautiful soul yeahanything yeah what we're gonna do nowwe're actually gonna just completelyflip the scriptokay go into a segment of the show thatI just put in here just for a little bitof fun and this is people obviously knowyou now in terms of your story andeverything but I know there's also youknow just a little fashion stuff thatthey could probably play from justknowing so you ready yeah I'm ready okaywe're gonna go in three two oneokay what did you eat for breakfastshreddies and granola the ability to flyor be invisible be invisible money orfame fame so I could impact people'sthoughts your proudest moment can I haveto both both of my boys face am iachieve all those face of my boys yourfavorite foodOh chocolate Netflix our YouTube netlegs okay your number one goal this yearto publish my book to your coffee teayour favorite sport oh gosh I don't havea favorite sport to watch I'd probablysay tenants okay so you participate inoh I don't really do sport I do I likelike sirJim can we call that a sports boys'llwhy not there's no rules here fantasticokay if you can sit with one person inthe world for an hour who would it beJesus your worst fear is a child Ohprobably something to do with snakes Ireally don't like snakes they scare meyour favorite place in the world lake inNew Zealand South Island of New Zealandsounds amazing speak our languages we'llbe able to speak to animals speak allthe languages if you could have punishedone thing in the world what would it bepoverty would you rather than on how youwould die or when you were they how orwhen I probably say when because I thinkthe power of being able to say goodbyeis unbelievable and it's interestingactually because I remember someoneasked me this question before Georgedied and I always just said I wouldn'twant to know I just want to be shot andactually what I would say to people nowis it's just so unbelievably powerfuland to have the opportunity to saygoodbye and even though it's sad it's soso healing to be able to do it say thatI think you know when you're gonna dieso you can prepare for it emotionallyfinancially is a huge blessing yeahabsolutely I think we're gonna leave itthere and I think that's it that's agreat that you said because I think withdeath it's more the uncertainty and thanthe shock of it that really just throwspeople into a whole whirlwind yeah yeahwe're almost at the end of the show nosadly just got two more things I want toask you and I think this would be aninteresting answer from yourself becauseit's about reflection and I'm not usedto turn it easier how you wish you hadyour perspective when George was aroundso my my view is always the samehindsight you know it's a wonderfulthing we can obviously learn ways wherewe can get to places quicker easier withless heartache but like yourself whichI'm sure you'll agree it teaches us somany lessons yeah access to people thatwe are so knowing exactly what you knownow if you could go back and takeyourself back to a younger Louise youcan choose whatever age you wish whatwould you what would you whisper in youryounger selves is I'd whisper in my earyou're lovedGod is real he's for you he has a planfor you he's with you and he wants youto surrender to him in a way that onlyis right for you I love that I thinkobviously because your experience withGod knows if you were able to have thatthen yeah yeah absolutely yeahsuddenly were actually at the lastquestion now and again this is aquestion ask all of my guests I'm alwaysinterested to kind of know how peoplewant to be remembered and I'm alwayseager to get as many people to sharetheir stories as possible because at theend of the day I truly believe nobodyreally wants to be forgotten and I thinkwe've all got a story out there so if wesay in 150 years time science fails tosave us and all that is left is a bookand this book is by yourself and it's onthe table and you've got a I supposekind of make people want to pick it upso what firstly would the title say andsecondly the blurb at the back of itwhat would it tell us about yourselfwell this is easy re because I'm rightlooking I want to write more than onebook so the series the series of my bookwould be called the wonderfulness oflife and which is actually a name that'staken a lot of letter it's a name that'staken from a letter that George wroteand before he died reflecting on thewonderfulness of life the first bookwould be called he heard my cry andthat's the story that I've sort of toldin part today so if we take that firstbook which is the book I'm hoping toit's obviously kind of published thisyear and that story is a true storyabout love's exploding into my life amoment when I was least expecting it andyou would maybe say that I was likeBridget Jones meeting God tragic aboutthat backdrops and it's the tale of howI was gifted a front-row seat to areal-life miracle the tale of how I lostthe love of my life that gained thegreatest love we can all ever know andit's a tale that I hope and wish willimpact the thinking of a generation wowI love thata real-life miracle yeah it's abrilliant tagline just in relation toyour book and I'll keep jumping back tothis are you gonna be releasing anaudible version I haven't even got thatfar that's a good ideaI'd like to yeah like I'm just beingselfish here because if I read pagesfrom a book I'm asleep within threeseconds so I listen to a lot of my stuffi podcast and I would take that as asign are you amazing please do that Ithink you're being credible and justbefore you leave then I'd like to put inthe show notes obviously for people tobe able to contact you and then yeahhopefully by them contacting you canobviously keep them up to date with therelease of the novel but then I'd loveto get you back as wellcloser to that release or after you'vereleased it as well because I just youknow this is an incredible inspiringremarkable story I think you'refascinating the way you've you justfound this bliss and I can hear it fromyour voice all the way through because Iwas expecting and I'm quite an emotionalperson to get choked up during thisinterview mm-hmm if anything you'remaking me just I've just been smilingjust hearing it although there's a sadelement to the story it's just almost Ijust feel I just feel happy for that soif you caught my husband used to alwayssay say be sad but she was happy yeah healways she's happy I love that yeah yeahso if you could just give us where thelisteners can find yourself yeah I saythe best the best place to find me isprobably on Instagram so I'm onInstagram as wonderful nurse underscoreof underscore life so it's wonderfulnessof life the two underscores I have got awebsite that it's being built at themoment and and yeah I'm also on Facebookas Louise Bligh is but I post onFacebook cause wonderfulness of life andthat's kind of my reflections on life Isuppose and the wonderfulness that wefind in in every day in everyday joy youknow so it's me talking about how I youknow I think it's an invitation to comeand see life through my eyes almostcertainly I didn't knew this afternoonas well when I get back from my nextmeeting I'll add that all in the showknows and onceor website is sell and please do let meknow because what I can do is go backinto the show notes and edit it becausethese episodes they get listened to allsorts of weird and wonderful it's justnot it is www.hs wonderful nurse of lifecalm I think computer I think that's itmy it's there there's a holding pagethere and there's a picture of me it'slinked to my Instagram but it's not gotall the content on it at the moment butif you put that on it is it will take itwill take you somewhere to me and youcan send me a message that I'll get onthat as well so fantastic ok so this hasactually been our first ever two-partepisode thank you thank you thank youhonestly thank you so much for sharingyour story I'm sure it's gonna resonatewith so many people it's been anabsolute pleasure for the listeners aswell thanks for listening oh you're sowelcomeand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 17- "Wonderfulness of Life" - Louise Blyth #17 Part 1Tagline: "Be the captain of your fate and master of your soul"Louise Blyth, is an incredible lady who has experienced losing the love of her life, George Blyth tragically from cancer. With cancer now affecting 1 in 2 families it is a common occurrence so many of us face in our day to day life. But unlike any other story Louise world took a massive turn upon the sad death of her spouse and soul mate.Experiencing a supernatural event during his last few days Louise beliefs, perceptions, outlook and whole world had been turned around where she found herself finding, what she describes as "the greatest love all of us could ever know"A 2 part special episode, this incredible story does not lean on an emotional tale which will have you in tears of sadness, despite its tragic theme. Instead, tears of happiness seeing someone recover from grief and finding a bigger purpose and understanding of her being in the world takes over the story's narrative and leaves you feeling rather refreshingly happy that in such a sad circumstance someone can continue their life in a positive, fulfilling way.Now a widow of 2 children, Louise has created The Wonderfulness of Life which focuses on, Happiness being a choice and a state of mind.I am sure you will all agree this story truly warranted two episodes and if anyone can take anything positive away from this, it is to cherish all the moments we have with our loves ones and find blessings in whatever cards we are dealt in life.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.thewonderfulnessoflife.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-blyth-207a7a49Instagram: https://instagram.com/wonderfulness_of_lifeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/louise.Blyth83Have an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so before I begin thisannouncement I just want to say amassive massive massive thank you toevery single one of you who havelistened to this show I also want to saya massive thank you to anyone who haspreviously listened to his show and lefta review because it's your reviews thatI've helped us get into the news and notworthy on iTunes now this is no smallfeat this is actually an incredibleachievement and the more I research itthey're more proud I actually feel butmore importantly I'm so proud of myguests and I'm so grateful that theywere able to share their journey but I'malso so happy to have such loyallisteners like yourselves to reallysupport this movement and that's exactlywhat it is it's a movement it's abouttrying to inspire people try and put apositive beacon of light into the worldand really try and get everyone to livetheir best life combat their excuses andreally change their perception andmindset so without rambling on too muchwe have a really really excitingtwo-part episode coming up for you nownow this is actually our first evertwo-part episode and conscious of yourtime which is obviously our biggest andmost important commodity I'm gonna jumpstraight into this one okay so I justwant to start by thanking Louise for hertime and coming onto the show today toshare her story which I'm sure you'reall gonna find absolutely inspirationalso Louise how are you doing todayI'm good thank you I'm good fantasticfantastic so I just want to say thankyou I appreciate you and I'm reallylooking forward to this one so this wasactually a recommendation from somebodyelse you may haveone heard previously on a podcast it'sepisode number fourteen and it's my betdaily Rylan it's something that I urgeall of you to check out because it wasactually within the first four hours itgot the most number of listenstraightaway so it's a great hit and I'drecommend you all going back to thathowever moving on now we have anotherfantastic guest in Lewis so Louise Ithink it's really important for thelisteners to understand your story andunderstand a little bit about yourselfas well if you if you wouldn't mind ifyou could just kind of give us aninsight into yourself a little bit aboutyour journey and what basically bringsyou here today yeah no worries so and ifI'm completely honest I never thoughtthree even four years ago that I wouldbe someone that would be sat beinginterviewed on a podcast talking aboutthe subject that I'm going to bring tothe table today which is lossbereavement and life after livingthrough sort of that kind of trauma soso my story is from nottingham fromrobin hood that's where i kind of growup grew up and spent my childhood had afantastic childhood my parents reallysort of put myself over the first I waskind of one of those people at schoolthat was not really super cool but alsoI hope not too much of a mega geek andyou know you did did the normal stuffkind of growing up going into nightclubsprobably too young being carried out ofnightclubs after having drink too muchso my friends before say probably tooyoung and went away to university at 18where I studied French and actuallylived abroad for a year when I was 19which was quite young and that was Isuppose my first experience if I'm beingbrutally honest of life if that makessense so in terms of really realizingthings around loneliness relationshipsbeing able to kind of go it alone and dothings for yourself because essentiallywhen you're on your own in a foreigncountry you have no one else to rely onother than yourself and I and so thatwas that was really really kind of bigexperience in my life and graduated inin 2006 probably like many so you reallyexpect it about what life had to offerme and had one of these huge plansaround what I thought I was gonna be andwhat car is thought I was gonna driveand what house I wanted to have hadn'tmet kind of anyone special at that pointthere's been a few a few boys but no onewho'd kind of really made me sort of situp and take notice and in 2006 I wasaccepted on to a training scheme agraduate training scheme and that waskind of a supposed to start of where mylife really really started to change soI I started there in September and on myfirst day in fact before my my first dayon the induction day I met George who Iwould fall in love with and marry so wewere part of a group of about 30 peoplehe will join together and we had a greattime it was like being at university youknow me we were there training togetherliving together all became really reallygreat friends but he was the guy thatkind of more than anyone else you knowwas not never first I on any level I youknow I remember thinking oh my gosh thisguy's so confident you know he's reallysort of sure of himself but we justbecame really great friends and we usedto would talk all the time and then itwas that that Christmas so this is theSeptember when we started our job and itwas that Christmas when we actually kindof had our first kiss so he'd he'dreally really raison he said when hefirst were in the business oh well I'mgonna be I'm gonna be in Edinburgh soI'm gonna have a hub burn a party andwe're all gonna come to Edinburgh andhave this holiday party and I rememberthinking oh my god who is this guy likethey're so confidentso anyway true to his words you knowfour months later there we all were sortof twenty or so others at his flat in inEdinburgh and that's kind of whereGeorge and I had our first kissNew Year's 2006 2007 and after that youknow my life my life changed in aninstant I know for people that arelistening that of maybe you know you'vemet someone that they know that theywon't spend the rest of their life withwhen you meet that special person youknow really it is everything that you'veever hoped for it is kind of like themovies and the songsand it's it's truly beautiful it's areally amazing experience and we knew weknew from the outset that we hadsomething special I think that often youdo you know it was more than just afriendship it was a kind of deeprespectful sort of love it was it was itwas powerful you know and so we kind ofwent on living our lives together youknow as what happens when you meet theperson that you want to spend your lifewith you know you stop being you stopbeing as our lives became more and moreintertwined so we we lived apart welived togetherwe vented together we bought a housetogether his kind of his career wentfrom kind of great amazing as he kind ofcharged through the ranks from corporateperspective we were engaged in 2010 wewere married in 2011I felt pregnant we had off this babyquite quickly which was just a hugeblessing and we it gave birth to of thisson in 2013 so for all intents andpurposes we were the couple that thathad it all we were probably the peopleand I hugely recognize this that peoplelook to in kind of discipline oh howthey got this you know like they'vethey've met young they've both got goodjobs they're doing really well hopefullythey thought we were nice people youknow we had we had a nice house we drovenice cars we had a you know we had wedecided we wanted to have a baby and itjust was easy we got pregnant and I hadno problems with my pregnancy so youknow we were on to a good thing life waslife was really really great and then wedecided to have another baby and I gotpregnant very easily again and shortlyafter office and was born we moved houseso we relocated back to Nottingham surebecause by this point we're living downsouth because that's like the street sirI paid gold and then whilst I waspregnant with our second son George justhad this overwhelming feeling which Ican come back to and talk about somemore and as we kept kind of maybe deeperinto the interview there that we had tomove that we had to move back to myhometown andum so we we bought a house when I wassix months pregnant and moved after ourson was just born to me with an 8 weekold baby at that time that's when Georgestarted to be presenting with symptomsthat just weren't you know wasn't welland we couldn't get to the bottom of ithe was wrong he constantly had a cold hewas always tiredhe was really rundown he had low reallyreally low energy levels and because ofthe stage and the circumstance of ourlife in that we had two incredibly youngchildren Zoey at this point you know wehad a three-month-old baby and atwo-year-old son and you know justNewhouseGeorge was commuting to London from ourhouse and Notting Michelle it is a bigcommute you know said not you know notfor the faint-heartedwe just continually put it down to thefact that this is what life is in yourseason and you know you try and haveyeah we're rundown you know this ishaving kids everyone whinges about thetiredness and the exhaustion which is ayou know it's part of the territory ofyou know you don't live with yourchildren but it just didn't sort of seemto get better and there was thiscontinual niggle that was there andessentially basically we pursued it andto cut a long story short of how weactually came to this conclusion wedecided to send George for a colonoscopywhich is a process where you basicallyhave a camera put up your bottom it'snot that unpleasant so he went off andhad this procedure and I mean this iswhat our life was like at this point intime our and so he decided to have thisprocedure in London because he rememberhim saying to meyou know I'm so busy at work what I cando is I can go to work and then I can dothis after work and I can come back andI can still behave at that time wegenuinely didn't think that there was abig you know big big reason to beconcerned all of the health careprofessionals had said to us there's nota reason to be worried he's so younghe's 33 it's definitely not gonna bebowel cancer and basically that day thatyou had the colonoscopy which was thethe 9th of December 2015he called me I was at home literallykind of quite literally walking aroundthe Christmas tree and my little boyanswer and with a little Senate nurse weputting all my fairy lights out thinkingwow you know life's amazing this is grayand he called me and that phone call wasthe moment that just shattered my lifebecause having your husband ringing andsay the words I've got cancer ah it wasjust it felt like a time-space continuumand I yeah it was just hideous and Iremember saying to him oh my god shecan't know this already how do you knowlike it can't be which was actually theroute that I went domine when he told uswas exactly the route that all of ourfriends went down afterwards when weactually had to then tell them the newswhich was just as difficult as himhaving to tell me and I know now thatthat's the kind of psychologicalresponse in terms of you know plausibledenial you want to commercialise withwhat you're hearing and you want somehowto be like this isn't true this thiscan't be the case this isn't us you knowdo you not know who we are today and Iremember you know being on the phonewith George and crying and him saying tome it's fine like he'd managed to havethe force I mean this is the kind ofincredible guy he was he'd had theforesight to call my parents tell myparents what happened before he ran meso he could say to me after he told meI've got cancer your mum and dad are onthe wayyour mum doubt of coming over andthey're gonna be here any minute andthey're gonna be they're gonna be herethey're gonna scoop you up and I'm on myway back from London it was just so soso kind and so thoughtful which was justwho he was to his coreso that was December 2015 and our livesin that instant you know I often jokedwith people and say I sing the song fromFresh Prince of bel-air oh it's probablyshows the kind of generation that I amit was you know this Oriole upside downbecause in that instant it was my lifewas flipped turned upside down and yeahit was just everything that we knewabout our life was thrown thrown on thefloor but then that you know that wasn'tthe end that was the beginning of a newlife and a new existence which went onfor 11 monthsso we then lived in a season of stagefour bowel cancer so when George wasdiagnosed he had metastatic bowel cancerwhich is basewe can circle of lingo for the fact thatthe cancers bad and it spreads todifferent parts of your body and inGeorge's case it spread to his liverwhich is not good news obviously it'sone of our major organs that you need tofunction so George then lived through Ithink it was eight rounds ofchemotherapy followed by six weeks ofreally intense radiotherapy followed bya season of kind of watch wait let's seewhere this where these horrible cellskind of come back then he did a hugehuge surgery in the summer which issomething called the liver resectionwhich is essentially where you getchopped open and all of your liverthere's got cancer and chopped out whichis kind of just the most epic surgeryyou can imagine before he did that hecycled around London and raised a lot ofmoney for bowel cancer UK and then hesaid I remember him saying to hisoncologist you know just before he hadthis liver surgery I'm gonna I'm gonnado more bike riding and then this sortof all looking at him like he wascompletely mental eight weeks to the dayafter he'd had his liver resection hecycled from London to Paris releasedmore funds for Bar Council UK and thenshortly after returning home from thatboat ride he started complaining againfeeling unwell and we you know wegenuinely thought that we were on thesort of positive track with this diseaseand literally eight weeks the day afterhe'd stood in front of the eiffel toweryou know holding his bike you know inthis kind of really momentous epicphotograph that I've got of him he wasdead so he he went downhill incrediblyquickly and peacefully passed away onthe 18th of November 2016 so I was 33and I had a three year old and a tenyear olds and yes it was incrediblyincredibly hard yet was incrediblybeautiful and a moment of glory that Inever expected at the moment of hispassing so I suppose that was a realgame-changing moment when he died whichwas just absolutely beautiful andthere's no other word to describe itwhich is I suppose why my story's a bitdifferent because I think probably mostpeople are going to be expecting me tosay and then it was himyes and then it was all for and I lovethis season of grief and and it has beenand it was all of those things but itwas equally really beautiful because oftheir the way in which George died andwhat happened to all of this at themoment of his death which I'm sort ofreally excited to talk some more withyou about say and just stunned that lastbit and which we will touch on just in afew moments time I can tell that youwere going to have that response justfrom the way you were explaining yourjourney and everything that you've beenthrough so but when I think of concernwhat it's done to my family it becomes amore of an emotional thing and it'squite like even when you talk about itlike demeanor and everything changeswhen you say you can see that you'veactually found the silver lining in thisin this journey that you've had to takeand I just find that incredible so I'mlooking forward to hearing just a bitmore about that have balls and knowabout how it was one not only incrediblyhard but also incredibly beautiful Imean I'm taking notes here because Idon't want to miss anything and I'm surelisteners I probably think ask her thisask her this because it's so fascinatingbecause what you've literally describedis a fairy tale story and it's kind of astory that I suppose when we grow upthere's there's a thing and I was I wasdoing a speech recently and I was sayinghow you know how we go to school andyeah you get your results and then yougo to secondary school then you have theI love is then you go to university thenyou get married and you have kids andthen you retire at 65 it's almost likesomewhere in a in our subconscious Isuppose we reprogram to believe we'rejust going to lift or 65 wheneverything's just gonna fall in placeand then what happens it comes in boomit hits you how is he so hard yeahthat's why people struggle and I justthink yeah it's a I'm grateful thatyou're sharing this story because itwould just wake people up yeah I'm veryfortunate that nothing like that hashappened to my wife or myself at thismoment but I do try and live as if thatcould happen tomorrow oh yeah it wouldthat the nightmares that couldpotentially happen so oh you mentionedthat you've been travelling for a yearas well not obviously generate so wheredid you travel so I didn't travel so Ilived I mean sorry you lived you liveyeah yeah yeah and I said friendshipUniversity and I lived in fret in FranceI actually lived I need to be honest I'dlove to go back now as a 35 year old anddo I did then I lived in the noirWeinbergwhich at the time as a 19 year old hebasically like drinking wkt blue it wascompletely lost of me as like a kind ofcultural experience but it was part itwas part of my my studies in terms ofwhat I had to do to kind of learn thelanguage but yeah that was that wasinteresting and it's been reallyfascinating actually as I've taken sometime particularly this last year becauseI've been taking some time out of workto actually I'm writing a novel actuallyso I'm writing the story of what whathappened to is in that in detail becauseI'm really mindful that to try and relayit in you know an hour even in two hoursit doesn't do it justice which is whyI'm writing the story of exactly youknow all of the twists and turns and thebeauty of what unfolded but essentiallyyou know I've really realized that thatexperience that I had in France wasreally formative and actually wasequipping me with skills that I wouldneed kind of in the moment of George'sdeath and it was also interesting inthat some of the corporate experiencesthat I'd had as well so often you knowpeople always saying it's very clicheisn't it you know when you're having adifficult time people often say stuff toyou like you know this all happens for areason or you know it's in difficultywhere you learn and you know what Ihugely believe in both of those pointsbut actually when you're in thathardship and you're in that season ofstruggle and people say that to you ifI'm being brutally honest sometimes itfeels like a slap in the face becauseyou just you just feel kind of like wellyou don't know what is to be in thesituation I'm in and how do you knowthat I've been positioned for such atime as this but I think you have to Ithink you have to come to thatconclusion yourself I don't think otherpeople can kind of impart that wisdominto you and it's taken me to livethrough the experience of my husband'scancer and his death to wake up to lifedoes that make senseand I now look at all of theseexperiences that I've had the good andthe bad and go wow like I was being liketrained I was being because I waspositioned into that set ofcircumstances the reason why thathappened was to serve me later and whenyou start to reflect that in that wayyou often see that you've done that youdid do some really great learning in meseasons of struggle and they and theyhave served to make you a more full kindof person that can then cope and be moreresilient in times that will be eventougher may be that you face in thefuture say yeah this interesting I justlove that I just love your perspectiveon things and I think because I believeeveryone gets these potential lessonsand I call it potential lessons becauseyeah it's what they take from it reallyand yes that you mentioned resilience aswell and yeah I I've hadI mean I'm day two you know and I feellike I've had some ups and downs as wellin my life which I'm sure every singleperson has yeah the grass is nevergreener on the other side yeahabsolutely yeah I mean that's one of thereasons for this podcast but I'mgrateful now especially in hindsight ofall the adversity and everything thatI've been through because now whensomething trivial happens say forinstance in my day job or you got a flattire or something that would normally Isuppose dress me out five six years agoyeah yeah it just doesn't faze mebecause in the grand scheme of things doyou know what I mean you you snotabsolutely 100% yeah I'm interested inthis novel Azure which i think is gonnabe fantastic because like you said wecan't touch on everything within thisshort amount of time but I think justfrom listening to the opening 15-20minutes people are going to be veryinterested in hearing more about thismyself included and I think you're notalone in what you've experienced but I'msure that you're very unique in terms ofhow you've change your perspective and Ithink if you can hopefully help otherpeople who have maybe been through asimilar situation to maybe look at it inthe way that you said so I want to goback to that bit where you mentioned howincredibly hard it was oh but then alsoincredibly beautiful if you yeah yeah solet's talk about the hardship and thestruggle first I think you have you seethat fully fully understand that thenunderstand the beauty if that makessense you have to source it in thedarkness to feel to feel the light whichsounds quite cheesy but I think it's youknow that's kind of essentially the theheart of this story and you know thatmoment that if we go back to the momentthat I described to you earlier when youknow George was diagnosed with cancer itwas hideousand I often say to people actually thatis when my life changed and that is whenI started to grievebecause that was the moment that ourlives changed forever at that point wewere obviously still hoping there Georgewas gonna live to tell the talebut even if he had lived to tell thetale he would have been living to tellthe tale with the with the scar ofcancer and I think this is the part ofcancer that is so widely misunderstoodpeople want to treat it like a diseasethere is a heart problem or anorthopedic problem which is you know yougo to the hospital you have somemedicine and you get better and yourlife's all okay again and actually thereality of cancer at any stage that youget it is that it alters the check thatyour mindset and the course of your lifeforever because it fundamentally makesyou realize your own mortality in a waythat you've never had to realize itbefore and it also therefore because ofthat makes you live your life verydifferently it makes you live your lifein fear it also makes you live your lifewith joy because you appreciate and havesuch a broader perspective for theamazing and wonderful variety of whatyou see in everyday life because it isyou know that is where you live and inin the everyday not in the holiday thatyou've got planning for six months timeor the night out that you're reallylooking forward to a couple of weeks andand cancer really has a way of sort ofshifting your perspective and I think Ithink this shift of perspective isuniversal but obviously I think from myown experience is not fertile for anyoneelse he's impacted by this disease butwhat's interesting is you know once youkind of take some time to let the newssettle which you have to do and you getnews that big you know I remember forGeorge and I we had the classicfight-or-flight response and we actuallychose flight so we ran away essentiallyto the yorkshire dales which was whereGeorge's mother lived and basicallyspent sort of two or three days almostin hiding trying to figure out what wewere gonna do so yeah we we ran away tothe oxidase and there we sort of liketried to look at the situationpragmatically so both of this had sortof a spaceman entrained in the corporateworld because of the circumstances inwhich wewhich was on this kind of managementtraining scheme unit we'd both beenthrough quite vigorous corporatetraining so we've done all of the youknow separate the people from theproblem how do you make a decision allof that kind of stuff and actually wekind of said you know what we've got tokind of implement some of these skillsthat we've been taught in terms offacing this this beast that is cancerand that and that's kind of what wechose to do so when we actually sort ofapproached it as if it was almost acorporate problem and and I and I feellike I'm I'm I'm even laughing as I saythis because it because essentially thisis what we had to do we had to look atit as not a black dark disease that wasgonna claim our life we had to look atit as a unwanted guest that maybe movedinto our house which is how it fell andthen it was kind of like what what we'regonna do in this and once a guesthow are we gonna how are we gonna makeyou feel part of the family and then wedon't really want them to be here butaccept the fact that they are gonnaprobably eat our table now for theforeseeable future and we can't makethem leave they're only gonna go whenthey want to you know so we we looked atyou know what we could do and one of thefirst things actually that we did wasand it was George's this is alldifferent by George not by me was hesort of said well I'm not having cancerand I remember saying to him what areyou talking about you know you've gotcancer like we can't we can't get rid ofit just like that and say no what I meanis I'm not I'm not calling it cancer I'mnot I'm not going to be named as havingcancer because there's a lot in the nameI mean there's even a you know there'sthe beautiful Shakespeare quote of youknow if Rose has anything else you knowI can't I can't remember it and thebaton but it's about you know if it wascaught if it was still called over butit was cannot call the rose but it stillsmells so sweet and that same that samethinking and that same mindset is sotrue cancer because the problem is isyou say cancer to people and peoplethink death because people are so scaredof death and actually the reality thesedays is one and two people will getcancer and also lots of people havecancer and go on to live reallybeautiful long lives also have cancerand live really successfully with cancerfor a good number of yearsbut we all have this fear you know it'sessentially the Millennial tuberculosisthat you get cancer and it's literallylike then the Grim Reaper is their dooryeah so George George said to me fromthe from the outset I don't want cancerI'm not gonna have cancer I'm gonna havea project name so we we we were sort oflike I was like okay so it was it waslike a awesome cheesy episode of TheApprentice we were driving north and hewe were there thinking of names andevery name I came up with which I can'tremember any of the names I actuallycame up with he he was beating ofdallying no that's awful that's that'shorrendous I kind of thought I can'thave this then he said out of nowhereInvictus what about Invictus andhonestly when he said that name it wasliterally like a thunderclap in the carit was amazing like it shot wavesthrough my heart and I was like that'samazing I was like why do we both knowthis name a week googled it and we'relike oh it's an aftershave and then wewould you know laughing joking whichagain is another you know like that is areal great way of building resilience soit sounds so awful and crude to say butto try and find the fun and the smilesand the everyday humor in amongst youknow this car crash that is your life isso important because you're stillyourself when you still find the samethings funny and you like eating thesame sweets and the same places eventhough you've got cancerI remember we're in fits of laughter bekind of like you know why on earth haveyou chosen an aftershave advert this isjust really cheesy but then when we wentfurther into it we found out thatactually the original naming conventionsare coming from this amazing poet and byErnest Hemingway which actually I nowhaving a frame on my wall at home andthe line the closeout line of the poemis this really sort of like thunderousclothes which basically says I'm thecaptain of my fate and I am the masterof my soul and those words we were justlike they were literally like boom toour hearts we were like yes okay this isit now we we are not having cancer sowe're having sort of project and victorsand that was the start of is Isuppose time to refrain what washappening to is but that also didn'tmean that what was happening to uswasn't horrible you know like there'slots of cancer there is hideous there isabsolute sleep deprivation becauseyou're so anxious about everything thatyou you go to bed and you can't sleepand you're wide awake you wide awakethere's there's an easier because ofthat because you're so exhausted you'reand you're trying to keep the show onthe roadyou can't remember sometimes the mostsimplest of things there's the the hugeimpact that it has on your daily life Imean essentially I was still onmaternity leave you know we had an eightmonth old baby so I was supposed to bethe one that was being looked afterbecause I was up at night you know stillwith a baby that didn't really know youknow day from night if I'm beingbrutally honest yeah and you know then Ihad to switch roles into this personthat wasn't just caring for atwo-year-old and a eight month old itwas also caring for a guy he was theretwo three who had cancer which for himwas just as difficult as it was for mebecause he was the the dad he was thefather figure of the family he wanted tobe able to provide and support his wifeat his children and the reality of thecancer treatment that he had was there Imean he had really really top-drawerchemo which was like I remember themsaying the hospital is it's pretty muchlike we're putting bleach in your veinsand he had it every 11 days so he didn'thave much downtime between treatment youknow he'd go on it he'd go on his go andhave his infusion and actually he thenhad to come home with a with a bottleattached to him which is a type ofchemotherapy that lots of bowel cancerpatients if anyone who's had bowelcancer is listening will be familiarwith and you then basically take thepump it's called a pump home with youfor three days so that was you know thatwas a man mindful in itself because wehad to explain to our kids what wasgoing on that they couldn't jump ondaddy and it wasn't ever that we keptanything secret from our children butyou know our oldest child was two yearsold you know how do you explain to a 2year old dad daddy's got cancer thathe's got this medicine on him I meanactually and that is what we explainedto him and we had to explain what thewords meant to him but you know theydon'tat that age they don't understand whatit means they it means nothing to themyou know for all intensive purposes forthem it was like daddy had a bottle ofCal Poly attached to him you know theydidn't get the severity of it and it wasreally tough and it brought up a lot ofstuff for me around you know what do Ido in terms of work so obviously I wasoff work on maternity leave I actuallywent back to work because I felt so muchpressure because I was thinking you knowI don't we'd have no idea how long thiscancer journeys gonna go on for and eventhough both of our employers were justthe most supportive employers B couldhave ever asked foryou always have that niggle in the backof your head that actually if this goeson for six years seven years are theystill going to be this supportive andlist understand a and I remember sayingto George you know I've got to go backto work George because we might be in aposition where we're only rely you knowwe're relying upon my salary and youknow you can't work which he neverreally wanted to face into so I wentback to work and even when I talk aboutit now I genuinely don't know how I didit I went back to work with aone-year-old just three year old and ahusband with cancer and was kind ofdoing my job as well as commuting toLondon and you know running a house youknow it was absolutely exhausting andexhausting in a way that makes your souleight you know it wasn't just it wasn'tjust sort of tired of the way thatpeople say I'm tired you know it wasexhausting and it was the relentlesssort of tsunami of it all because theway that cancer works is you kind of itis it's a long boil disease you know itisn't a disease there you know it goesit doesn't go away like an orthopaedicyou know injury like I said previouslyand it and it's it's always theresimmering in the background and everynow and again you get these huge wavesthat crash over you and they sometimesabsolutely come out of nowhere and it'sabout then how you how you protectyourself and what you what you do - Isuppose build that resilience and that'swhat we learn in that 11 monthsessentially initially it was like wewere all at sea we have no idea what thehell we were doing and gradually as theyearwent on we built that resilience muscleand we learned the techniques aroundwhat is it that's gonna help us and weknew that there were certain things thatfor us as a family he with the thingsthat work but that took some time tofigure out it wasn't like the next dayafter George I can't sir we went yeahthis is this is what we have to do thistrick is it yeahno no so it was so hard it was so sohard so hard yeahfirstly what a wonderful person hesounds like and I just in yourrelationship the way you were justfeeding a feature then you had thiswhole story behind Invictus Sol Invictusfor me initially yeah Paco Rabanne it'sthe which is what I remembered but alsothere's a film money as well yes andit's happened to feed on conquerable soWowyeah you actually said it in this momentthat's what I was feeling and I wasgetting almost goose thinking yeahthat's it how you guys have done it andit just shows the power of like thehuman will and the importance that wordsbecause just by changing that nameyou're not you're not necessarily sayingto listeners here listen let's brushcancer under the copy and pretend it'snot here what you're saying is okay weacknowledge it's here and some dayswe're facing it but we're gonna justface it in a more positive way to helpus move forward and I think that'sreally really yeah the way you've donethat and in terms of exhausting I meanwe all sit here myself included andwe'll have a 14 hour day or a 12 hourday we've been asked to do some overtimeand we feel you know what I'm tired I'mtired and here you are with no actualchoice with your back against the walljust showing how powerful the human mindand body in sync how much we're actuallycapable of doing and that also goes sexywhen you mentioned George who did thatrunning I mean who in their right mindif you think about it from a logicalperspective things after being choppedup I'm go go go raise money wait youknow you know what there are what Iwould say is I follow some reallyinspirational people on Instagram andparticularly love the the three womenand who created the you me Big C podcastand Rachel blance or sadly passed awayin September last year and I follow Ifollow the girls actually that do thatshow on Instagram and they ones a cancersurvivor one one is living with stagefour cancerthey are always out exercising andactually what I would say is it heyfor you to realize that your body isfragile and that you have to look afterit to want to look after it sometimesand actually the irony is is that Georgeactually was a fitness fanatic evenbefore he had cancer so he was on thesepeople that would go to gym gym and Iwould always be like what are you doingbut I had to say since he has had cancerand obviously lost his life to cancerit's made me go as well you know yourbody is so precious you have to lookafter it you have to be mindful of whatyou're putting in it in the way in whichyou're using it in the way in whichyou're nurturing it because it's it'sprecious to you and it's your onlyrocket ship you're not going to getanother one so you have to look after itand I think incredibly there is thismindset amongst the cancer community ofI am gonna do the stuff that like youknow that we run a 5k or run a marathonbecause almost as well you know everyoneknows the healing benefits of fitnessit's it's proven right so there is thismindset of just you know well I am whatI want to do this mentally even morethan I've ever wanted to do it so I doyou think it's crazy but I also thinkyou know not taking anything away fromGeorge because it was incredible what hedid but I also think you'll find thatthere are lots of people who areimpacted by cancer that also have thatabsolute mindset of no I'm gonna go forit I'm gonna raise this money I'm gonnago and do this and I think you're rightand I think but this is kind of what Iwant this podcast to do is not letsomebody have to suffer with cancer seesomebody also for with cancer to reallyunderstand what they're actually capableof because we're so much we're livingjust in the comfort zone all the timeand health and fitness is one of mybiggest passions so yeah I've alwaysbeen into it but then when I went touniversity was it was more about vodkacommands and hangovers sure yeah it wasthat kind of stuff for generallyspeaking up when I was about 25 I thinkthat's when cancer came into into myfamily only affected my own cause yeahand one of the things I started doingthen was really taking my health andfitness seriously so I blogged onpersonal training since then I'vetrained over like three 400 clients andI always know my analogy is I know thecircumstances for instance similar toGeorgia where you can be healthy you canbe doingright and then it's just not meant to beI can just come for what I always tryand do is just put the odds in my favorand I always tell all my clients justput the odds in your favor you know whenyou lift some weights or you do any sortof CV exercise cardiovascular you'reyou're you're reducing the chances of ofillness and that's kind of what I do soevery single morning without fail andunless some literally on my deathbedsorry or I'm traveling I'm training andI don't have to enjoy it but for me youknow it's 4% on my day just afteryourself and you touched on somethingthere by what you put into yourself andI think it's important for the listenersjust to know it's not just physicalconsumption like food and water it'salso what you say in your monitor yeahabsolutelyso the project Invictus that kind ofstuff is it's empowering and if you canjust so I just think there's this Icould talk about what you said now foranother five hours because I'm surepeople are going to pick up on thank youthank you for sharing all of that what Ineed to move it forward just slightlyotherwise we'll have a six hour podcastbut what definitely can get you back onso nice obviously change quite quitesignificantly now yeah yeah and it'ssomething that you obviously you'renever prepared for what is a day likefor yourself now and what I want to askmore in particular is obviously life'staught you so much so quicklyalready are there certain habits ortraits that you maybe do on a dailybasis that you think people listeningcould potentially benefit from yes so Imean the part of the story that haven'tgot into and maybe isn't one for thedates move maybe at halftime is the whatactually happened when George died whichin which I suppose was the absolutebeautiful firework finale to this wholeyear so if you imagine this 11 monthswhen George had cancer was like us itwas a slowly learning how to overcomeadversity and build resilience in a waythat I'd never had see before and thenwhen we realized that you know the endwas nigh when he was told there wasnothing that they could do and he wasgoing to die but weyou know how long it was going to be andwhat that what may or may not look likeand how painful it may be and all thoseother things that was the moment whereif I'm really honest and being reallyreally vulnerableI hit absolutely rock bottom because Ikind of when I don't know what to do nowyou know like all of this other stuffthat we've taught ourselves this far interms of you know finding three thingsevery day to be thankful for doingexercise you know renaming things tomake them feel more palatable you knoweating well to make sure we're we knowwe're making our bodies feel as great aswe can sleeping where we can in amongstnear the chaos of TV and children all ofthose things that other sort of thingsif you pick up any book on on resilienceand how to and how to kind of you knowbuild and and and work that muscle theyjust didn't work and I I remember justthinking oh my gosh like what what do Ido and it was it was awful and it meantthat we were both in a reallyemotionally low state which as I'm sureagain lots of people will identify withwhen you're in that place what happensis you lash out or the people that youlove the mostso we're in this hideous set ofcircumstances which was you know we knewthat George was gonna die and we hadwhat was probably the biggest row Ithink we ever had of our whole marriageour whole relationship because I wasreally angry at him and actually youknow what I was actually angry about himwhat I thought I was angry about him wasnot what I was angry about at him at allI was actually angry at him because hewas dying and that's what I now realizewith hindsight you know I was at I wasangry about him about something thathe'd said to us mom or not said to hismom but that wasn't you know and I'vegone back and rabbit reaction man thatwasn't the reason the reason I'm socrossed with him was because I was angrythat he was leaving me that he was gonnadie that he was not going to be here tobring up my kids that I was gonna haveto do life on my own in a way that I'venever ever expected to and that night Iwent out I literally ran out of thehouse into my car it sounds Hollywooddramatic and it actually was a littlebit that way and I got in my car and Idrove it was dogevening it was raining and I didn't knowwhat to do and I just felt lost reallyreally lost and in that moment Iremember thinking in my head where am Igonna go who do what who should go andsee if it goes to my mom and dad I couldgo see like my aunty best friends who'sthe person that I need that who do Ineed and I was I was sort of trying allthese people in my head to see if theyfitted with it the way I thought in myheart and none of them felt that theyworked and actually at that point intime was seeing a psychologist and Ithought do I bring her like do I go seeher I couldn't even bring myself to gosee my psychologist he was the personthat really you know I employed to sortof be the person I could take all thesethings to so I decided it in that momentthat I needed to go to a church and thenI was kind of like right really go to achurch and if I'm honest again I thinkit was rooted in some level of utopianmemory that I've got from childhoodprobably movies like home alone whereKevin goes to church and yeah has thatlike magical moment when he's missinghis mummy you know I was right I'm gonnago to church and tried that and to go toa church on this like rainy Octoberevening at about I think it must havebeen about five o'clock everywhere I waslocked her and I was so angry oran Ican't tell you how angry I amI was literally raging so I remember Ipulled my car over on a hard shoulderand I and I said at least she got out mycar and I screamed and at this point intime I was not a person of faith sothere is a purpose behind me telling youthe story and so I pulled over my carand I literally got out of my car it wasraining I was screaming and I literallyit was like I was boxer in a ring that Iwas a mad okay and I literally screamedat the universe if you are real if youare real you have to bleep bleep bleepbleep show me there was a lot of swearwords yeah I was crying I was crying somuch you know I couldn't even reallyspeak I was coughingit was awful I got back in my car andGeorge text me two words that just saidcome home and then I just wrote backokay he wrote back I'm not planning ordying anytimeSene and i just hysterically burst intotears and went home now that that momentwas a absolute another kind oflife-altering moment but it wasn'tlife-altering in that exact moment ifthat makes sense because then whatunfolded in this or three weeksfollowing on from me going out andhaving this moment where I went for itand said to God you know you are realit's now or never because I don't knowwhere else to turn it and God had neverbeen someone a force and an energy thatI had ever looked to previously but Iwas I felt like I had nothing left in mycup I had no place else to gohe was the only viable option left forme to go to and what then happened andwhat unfolded around George's deathwhich we maybe don't have the time todiscuss today was just supernaturallyunbelievably beautiful he died the mostglorified beautiful miraculous deaththat was completely driven by sort ofthe Holy Spirit just moving in andtaking residence in his room okay peopleI'm just gonna play the out role now forthis part of the show but the nextepisode should be available straightaway on your feed whether you using iOSor Android and I hope you enjoy thisjust as much as you've enjoyed thisfirst part of this incredible story fromLouise I know the next part certainlygave me goosebumps especially when shespoke about the supernatural stuff thatshe experienced and I hope you enjoy ittoo and once again thank you for allyour support and if you do get a chanceto leave this interview at the end ofthe show I'd certainly appreciate itthank you so much and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a five star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 16- "The Keys to Live The Life" - Jen Elyse #16Tagline: "If you're not laughing, you're not living"Jen, struggled with debilitating back pain and chronic fatigue and found no answers to conquer her condition. Having numerous consultations with doctors and specialists she was left to take control of her own life. Taking it upon herself to fix her condition she began to explore the importance of nutrition, holistic health, diet and movement and found herself regaining her health, wellness and living a life of authenticity and happiness.She is also Find Your Voice's first oversea guests and what a way to kick it off with a story of someone who makes no complaints about their life, seeks happiness in every opportunity, loves to laugh and make others laugh and continues to write her own story at her own free will.I hope you can all resonate with her story and take note of some great nutrition tips and tricks she mentions in this podcast that can help you all live a healthier, happier and higher energy lifestyle.Jen is also a holistic health counsellor, Reki master, actress, MUA, comedian and a lover of all things health and wellness and I can see this list growing! Be sure to check her out over at the show notes below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.fthelifewithjenergy.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenelyse/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelifewithjenergy/Facebook: Jen Elyse FeldyHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoicewelcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so we actually have ourfirst international guest on the showtoday and yes we have gone over to thestates so it's a fascinating storyactually because it's a story ofsomebody who are supposed reminds me alittle bit of myself in terms of she'sbasically writing her own story she'sdoing the things that she loves to do sowhether that's in health and fitnesswhether it's in comedy or whether it'sactually in acting as well and she'sdoing quite a few other quirky andwonderful things that we explore in thisepisode and again the purpose of thisshow and find your voice one of themeanings behind it is that we all usethat as a metaphor in terms of findingour path in life and then obviously asthe tagline States write your own storyand that's kind of what I want people todo I want people to find out who theyreally are and Jenn is certainly anexample of that so what I'm gonna do isjump straight into this episode becauseyou're gonna find it fascinating plusyou also get to hear a much betteraccent than myselfokay so firstly I just want to welcomeJen to the show and thank all thelisteners for tuning in today so how youdoing today Jen I'm pretty amazing yeahI got a wake-up call from my buddyHoward Hoffman at fresh green so he'skind of like I think he's better thanTony Robbins so everything's good oh wowwow is that a working relationship yeahyeah we do over more like friendshonestly we're probably like he's one ofthe rare companies I'd say our onlycompany's a traction buddies yeah I'm abig fan of him in the products yeah it'scool fantastic okay um so I obviouslyknow a little bit about yourself wherefriends over on Instagram that's kind ofwhere we had this conversation - perhapsrecord this episode today I think it'simportant for my listeners to obviouslyget to know you a little bit so if youwouldn't mind if you could just kind ofexplain how you progress through lifeand kind of ended up where you are todaymm-hmm okay I mines no I'm kidding okaylet me see well I do a lot of things Iwrote comedy last night for four and ahalf hours so I'm in a few differentworlds that a lot of people would thinkdon't really make sense and the but butto me if you're gonna live a full lifeyou need to be fit and healthy and youcan't have back pain I've had crazydebilitating back pain you can't be sotired you can't get out of bed and youhave to laugh and you have to feel goodand maybe you want to look good so whatI do now is I do hair and makeup that'scoolI'm most important thing is my healthguidebook I'm a whole health guide bookfor moods immunity energy and aestheticsI'm going backwards by the way becauseyou know I think people kind of need toknow where I'm at to be like oh okayand then reverse engineer yeah I like toreverse engineer things that make senseso there's a health guidebook so mousseimmunity and imaging and aestheticseverything from immune disorders toselling light in apps and fitnesstraining pretty straightforward but alot of different weird techniques andyeah the comedy writing last name shewill be very absurd so yeah comedy andhealth and beauty and fitness and actingand modeling and some movies are comingout so that's pretty much where I'm atnow unique and how did I get here umI've always been in fitness my wholelife my grandparents were likePrevention magazine before Preventionmagazine ever came out I was at theirdinner table saying what's the proteinso yeah that was always there and thenas far as being so passionate to helppeopleI had debilitating back pain from2010-2013 where I really couldn't take anine-to-five job because I didn't knowif I'd be able to walk so when you havesituations like that and chronic fatigueyou you know once you get over and youlearn what causes it and how to preventit and how to fix it for me at least Iwant to I don't want anyone to go intothat situation so I'm very passionateabout sharing that message so I'd saythat kind of sums it up you know mypassion says yeah yeah okay that'sfantastic so there's a couple of thingsI want to touch on there so you remindme a little bit of myself and this wasone of the reasons that I I reached outto you in relation to this episodebecause similar to myself I'm doing somany random things as well so I'm aproperty investor I'm a podcaster I'vegot a separate business doing personaltraining then I've got this socialaspect to my life so I'm kind of doingsimilar to yourself just kind ofenjoying myself through life and kind ofpicking and choosing whatever I feellike doing basically so that's alwaysinteresting and also you just touched onyou this back pain that you've had andobviously that going through thatsituation is obviously giving you a kindof purpose or suppose in terms of makingsure nobody else kind of feels that wayso if we could just touch on that alittle bit you mentioned was it 2011 yousaid that like I mean I've had fatiguesince like middle school high school andjust not being literally like cominghome from Middle School in high schooljust having to take naps and I had tobasically go from being an honor societyand in 12th grade just barely going toschool so I wouldn't want anyone to gothrough that and I've had a lot offatigue and then the back pain was late2010 to 2013 and that was pretty bad tooand I'm just looking at obviously yourInstagram profile now where you're ingreat shape you're doing all thisfitness stuff have you found theunderlying cause for that was it somesort of information was it anemic orwhat was it yeah that's a good questionum my friend who just caught it wouldyou sell the back pay and I said nobecause it took a million years I'mdealing with quote if you saw me I'd bequitting quotes up quote good doctorsand you're the best of the best and goodareas but they weren't helping me soI've been failed by so many doctors andexperts in the fitness field the healthfield nutrition field the back painfield energy field that I really had tojust take bits and pieces from you knoweither things that I'm pulling from thecollective consciousness or downloadingif you're into the spiritual realm andtake you face from books and reallypiecing together my own plans so whatcaused it is what I found basically youtake a piece of paper and you divideinto two sidethe left side look at the left side isthings that cause back pain or causefatigue and then the right sinus thingsthat prevent it in alleviate I found allthese different things that can causeand prevent it and that I know how tofix it so Wowyeah it's I will say that and when Ifound the clients because I fixed backpain would be fear alcohol crappy dietscan I say shitty like there's somethingyou can say what you okaybut I curse on you yep yeah are you sureyeah yeah all I do is when the episodecomes out I just label it as explicit soit's not a problemOh perfect let's do it explicit that Idon't eat character it's really stiflingalright cool so like shitty foods shouldshe know a crappy processed food likepizza stuff like that causes informationfear over here yeah if you're notstretching doing tightening contractingworkouts without stretching so likethere's a whole bunch of things butthose are some main onesoh wow that's interesting so you alsomentioned they're you honest likeclients know who you're working with arethey able to access your services viaInstagram have you got anything for usUK people over here because obviouslyyou across the shores over is it in NewYork yeah so with Fitness I've done I'vedone a few video trainings but I reallyI really do think if you're gonna dotraining you should have someone thatcan physically touch you move you aroundbut I've had some clients request it soI'm like alright whatever but um as faras nutrition and that corresponds to theback pain I do think you have to havethat nutrition because that's the fearit's the lifestyle it's relationshipsthat's to me that's one affect your soacid it's gonna affect your lower backin my whole sacral area so yeah I do mymy health guide book that I do via videoso and then I send a copy of the book soI'd have to literally just send it Idon't do it through an e-book I actuallygive hardcopy books to everybodyexcellent and the final thing I want totouch on was a you mentioned comedy andI've watched some of your videos onInstagram as well so again it's justanother another unique thing aboutyourself what got you into comedy I justmight be a my parents are really reallyfunny so I'm just that's just the way Igo through life aside aside fromlast four months I dated someone whoproduces literally produces like dramaall the stuff he does is like drama andhe pretty was found on my life so I waslike oh let's let's try this but no I Ilike I like living in a comedy life Ilike to wake up with jokes in my headit's just it's just a nice way to gothrough life it's a good high vibrationif you give you're into thatabsolutely yeah so are you doing at yourstand-ups then in terms of what weed Isay from the UK we look on junglers orsome sort of comedy show you say okaywell a sketch sketch I do have astand-up written but I like I likesketches I like to do charactersso that's what we did last night we'regonna be doing I can't really tell youbecause I'll ruin it but we're gonna dosome we'll probably some live events butwe'll do a Facebook live and it's gonnabe all these different charactersthere's going to be a lot of Facebooklives going down like in characters andpranks fantastic well I'll make sure Ido is at the end of the show get yourdetails obviously we can put that forthe listeners and then obviously theycan smile and what's just there's morevideos yeah only two people laughingthose two people had a kind of smile ontheir face absolutely absolutely I agreeokay so I'm a big big believer that weare a result of the thoughts we tellourselves and the habits that we kind ofput ourselves through on a daily basismyself in particular I have a specificmorning routine similar to yourself isit's mainly around like healthwell-being my mindset and everythingwhat kind of routine do you have on adaily basis or is it kind of ad hoc andyou just kind of firefighting your waythrough life because you do do a lot ofthings yeah kind of switches so let'ssay like next week weekend there'ssomeone from an over show that's gonnawe're gonna have to talk about thesketch comedy show so that's gonna bepart of me that next one today totoday's you and today I'm gonna bewriting Facebook ads and I'm also goingto be meeting with the nutrition clientso today is one day I let myself wake uplate and I have wheatgrass and sprout soI take wheatgrass I get deliveries fromyou can get that by the way they deliverI've actually had it before and itdoesn't taste too great but I did haveit for aboutgreat this one's actually better becausethe ones I would get in the store Iactually almost threw upthe last ones I had it so this one'sokay and then the sprout cubes like itsprouts loose too I make them into cubeso I'm drinking sprout cubes andwheatgrass cubes and fresh greens I havemy greens and the reason I do that isone your alkaline there's so manybenefits to that there's so manynutrients but also it potentiates itreally has a synergistic reaction and itbasically just makes your stimulantsmore stimulating so I have coffee hereright now - and you're you're gonna feelthe effects of coffee more if you havegreens so that's that's pretty much howI start the mornings as far as drinks goin lemon water or ginger water inturmeric water and then on Tuesdays I doa lot of cocaine and then I have hookerswaking up so that's what use knees go yaknow a bit of abundance then yeah Idon't pay for it no I tell super byright movement you know get the looks goand get the blood flowing get a littledetox fasted cardio I try to do fastercardio so if I can't get to the gym Iwalk around my house in circles and I dowhatever I gotta do so that's kind ofwhat I did right before talking to youso that's today Vernon excellent I'veactually just done my cardio just beforespeaking to yourself as well because Ifind it kind of clears my mind and itjust makes me a little bit more creativeI suppose I'm jealouswhat's your momma with you my morningroutine I wake up in the morning and thefirst thing I do is like a gratitudejournal and I'd have my day planned outfrom the night before so I write mygratitude journal and I do this reallyweird thing so how a lot of people kindof inspire themselves and want ovatethemselves with their dreams and allthis exciting stuff I kind of think oflike the most morbid nightmare thatcould possibly think of I need somethingBad's gonna happen potentially to myselfor my family and what that kind of doesis it kind of fires me up and gets meout of bed to really kind of seize theday and not my - excuses yeah yeah Iknow it sounds morbid but it's actuallyquite motivational any no yeah I justI use all my adversity and stuff likethrough life just to kind of channelthat into your positive then the firstthing I do is go to the gym I try andtrain fasted similar to what you weresaying earlier and then I'll come backand I'll have breakfast withthe wife and then I'll crack on with mywork depending on what I'm doing in theday and when I kind of hit a slump whichis normally like after lunchtime that'swhere I just do a bit of cardio becauseit lifts me back up and then I'm then II just kind of again I do look at mygoals I write my gratitude again likesecond time in the day and I kind ofwrite like my five wins for the daybecause I think sometimes we're so busyand especially on social media whenyou're comparing yourselves with otherpeople instead we forget the progressthat we've made in life as well so Ikind of use that to just reflect andit's me just being more mindful of thethings I'm doing I suppose because Ithink there was a big period in my lifewhere I was just on autopilot if thatkind of makes sense but I do try andincorporate a lot of health foods sostuff like chaga mushroom lion's manecoffee that kind of like organic stuffbecause I listen to the model house showby Sean Stephenson and I do try and takea lot of oh my god he's amazing yeah Ilisten to all these stuff and anyanything he kind of recommends is whereI'll kind of go obviously in the UK it'sdifficult to kind of get the stuff thatyou guys have got over there so when Iwent to New York recently I broughtmyself some of that coffee obviously weget wheatgrass and karela and spirulinaand all those kind of good things hereso do you try and put as many goodthings into my body but I suffered a lotwith binge eating too many just about meI kind of find that I have to for if Ifancy a biscuit or a chocolate I have tohave that then because otherwise I'llsuppress my feelings for seven days andthen I'll eat like 300 of them if thatmakes right no it's holding if you havemy family is like eating themselves todeath so it's definitely I get it it's ahorrible condition isn't it because italmost becomes a vicious cycle becauseespecially I mean I'm not sure when youhad it but when I did it what I would dois I will train three times a day forthe next four days almost like torturingmyself and then yeah it's horrible thenyou keep then you get to a point whereyou're absolutely starving and then youend up gorging againi in 10,000 caloriesand you're thinking this can't be rightso for me it's kind of being practicalthinking what's sustainable and so I tryand get all the best foods I can in themowning hard right train everything andthen if I fancy a treat like just beforeour bun on the show with you I had acouple of biscuits and I'm good I'mhappy so yeah right right but on thebinge eating um it is an addictionactually I'm going to become a certifiedpeer recovery coach there's a trainingfor that I'm going to apply that with myhealth counseling because I don't have Ido I did take some classes in addictionbut I want to take more and more formalclasses because what I'm finding is thatlike my last client doesn't her name isnot listed so it's totally confidentialso confidential clients to the pointwhere people don't even know I donutrition but um a lot a lot of peoplewho have the binge eatingyou know it's comorbid they're also hadmaybe had a history of sex addiction oralcohol or opiates it usually runs handsin hands attempt it tends to at leastthat's what I see and these people ifyou can apply even if they don't havethe substance addictions I'm applyingthe principles of addiction for manydifferent belief systems really helps itreally helps easing you know that'sfascinating so you till you're in theprocess of becoming that coach now yeahI'm going to I'm going to hopefullyhopefully it starts next week yeah didlike you haven't got enough things to bedoing right I know well you know is Idon't have kidsand I don't have a husband so that freesup a lot of space where I can do a lotof things a lot of people say you haveto pick one I said well if you don'tkids and you don't go to breakfast lunchand dinner and you still have hangoversanymore you can kind of do a lot ofstuff yeah good pointjust I'm going off on a little tangenthere you mentioned at the beginning ofthe show I think it was fresh coal andyou've mentioned all this nutritioustypes of food that you're taking whatkind of brands do you recommend I'm justthinking for the listeners who maybewant to just make it a take on a bit ofadvice and try something sure sure okaylong list I bounced around because thisis a thing even even if you know themanufacturer and make highly researchthings there might be substances in thefoods that they don't know about youknow it's just like with the world howit is in the polluted waters so I liketo diversify a lot so withI'll do fresh cooking's I would do freshgreens for since 2010 and that I met theowner and it was like I was alreadytaking this stuff for eight years Ifound that on a podcast while in myshower and then we became friends sofresh greens for sure also on PuriImperium is a network marketing companyI don't sell it but I am a fan of theirgreen vibrance green affair um so I likeI really think it's good to bouncearound I do like the periodit's a beat what is it it is apre-workout and it's called can't beatthis before pre-workout pretty amazingso they vasodilator of beet powder lovethat beet powder as far as supplementit's not really a supplement you buy butyou can do this yourself so I highlyrecommend this you can do all this withlemons turmeric ginger and sprout theydo is all for you just take sproutslemon turmeric ginger putting a blackthey're all separate so the lemons arejust with water in a blender and thenblunt it turns into a pulp and then youtake the pulp and you put it into an icecube tray or many ice cube trays andthen you freeze it it becomes ice cubesand then you take those ice cubes put itin a bag so every time you have wateryou can just take an ice cube and put itin your water it's already prepared nomess grilled yeah so that's the turmericand the ginger a big one and those arenatural it's not a company see I think alot a lot of these brands we don'treally get them in the UK which is why Iwas quite envious because I listen toSean Stephenson quite regularly and he'ssaying and talking about organifi andall these crazy supplements that justsound like they're amazing but thenobviously you go to the UK shoppingcentres and it's pretty much basic stuffyeah so yeah yeah it's very difficultand I think they've started to do likeorganic ranges now where you've got ourwhole foods and stuff but everything'sso overpriced I'm just thinking for theregular family well maybe maybe stufflike you've just mentioned like gingertumericlemons which is relatively cheap foodthat you can almost make some sort ofconcoction yourself yeah just blend ityou can do it fresh but it makes a messit takes time and if you're really busyjust to go in your freezer and take theice cube and pop it in water it's soeasy yeah I'm not gonna grind soureveryoneis that yeah of course okay fantastic sowe've spoken a little bit about yourlife now obviously you're doing all thisweird and wonderful things I want to askyou something a little bit suppose alittle bit personal and it might againgo back to that situation about yourback or it could be something completelydifferent I want to speak aboutadversity and the reason I want to speakabout adversity is because I'm alwayskeen to see how people overcome theiradversity because I believe we're almostfaced with the choice when we go throughsomething difficult we either give up orwe continue moving forward and the wholeemphasis behind this show is to showthat the show must still go on so if Icould kind of ask you to maybe talkabout a time that you've been throughsome level of adversity and how youpersevered through it and moreimportantly what you learned from itright right okay so I kind of had that afew weeks ago breakups breakups willkind of do that to you but I'm gonna goup to the back pain I think that's thebest because that was a transformationaltime my life I really changed so the2010 Thanksgiving ish was the back painstarted setting in and when I say backpain it's it's not just all my backhurts there's a shooting pain that feelslike there's a needle being stabbed inyour back and it goes down to your feetwrong so that happens to 50% of the timefrom 2010 to 2013 in August and one dayI knew it was gone when I picked up myjuicer with one hand and I didn't feelback pain I was like oh my god I canpick a juicer up with one hand and Idon't feel back then and I started whatlike jogging through me oh my god I cantog and I was a trainer I remember I wasa trainer teaching workout classes andthat's when the back pain hit so that'spretty scary when your full time job isof cool teaching workout classes and youcan't walk across the room and Iwouldn't even drink water some daysbecause I couldn't get up to look acrossthe room to go to the bathroom that'show bad it was so so um yeah it took along time you know 2010-2013 is a longtime but there's a lot of things thathappened I went to a handful ofdifferent doctors that failed me and youknow that motivates me to help peopleand put together a cohesive plan thatworks that's why I'm passionate aboutsharing myself because nobody not onepersonwe'll help me unfortunately um switchedmy friends around that was reallyimportant I I wasn't um I wasn't analcoholic or anything but the lifestylein DC was you know it was very normallike once a week so if you're if youhave a lot of friends and I had a fewpeople even call me a socialite which isbizarre but okay so I guess I was prettysocial and teach you workout classes andthose two things don't mix don't ever ifthere's any yeahdon't try to drink tequila at a poolparty and smoke pot and then teach atwork you know until God knows when andgo to the MTV real world house and thentry to teach a workout class at 6:30 inthe morning after teaching it quite a5-man you're gonna die like something'sgonna happen to you that's what happenedI drove myself into the ground so yeahso uh you know that the drinking Ialmost completely quit I realize it'sjust a poison for me it doesn't work myhalf my family just can't drink alcohollike our body is just like my functionso yeah it's so the alcohol is reallysmall the whole diet change the friendsthat want to go out and drink and wearhigh heels because I I can't really dothat with my with my back high heels arefour sheets in the bedroom you knowgoing out at night on Fridays andSaturdays and living a normal life no soI don't I have my fun in much differentways now and those type of friends Ihave or people want to create with meyou want to write comedy and sketchesand you know just do fun cool stuff likethis you can be healthy and you can bekind of bad person you can curse and youcan do all kinds of fun stuff you don'thave to live a boring life to be healthyyou really don'tyeah I think that's a great point and Ithink it's probably something that a lotof people go through is especiallymyself so when I first got into fitnessit was very difficult because similar toyourself I was very sociable and I wasalways going out for drinks on a FridaySaturday and it's kind of like an Indianculture here where you just kind of justgo to the pub on a Friday Saturday andget absolutely wasted and then hungoverthe next day you're eating kebabs andfast food and then back on it again andinitially when I started especially myentrepreneurial journey because it'scompletely different to a nine-to-fivein terms of you're working more hours sothat lag and that hangover especiallywhile trying to keep in shape as wellwas so diffwhen you have in these two or three daysI just continuously going over and thenI almost had to kind of pull myself backas well from that social circle andinitially it was difficult because Istill found myself coming back but thenlike you said I've now got people in mycircle who we can just grab for a meal anice healthy meal and stuff like sleepand stuff I really especially again Imentioned him again Shaun's demon said Iprioritize my sleep just as much aseverything else that my hearth um andnutrition so I make sure I'm in bed by acertain time in order to carry on withthe day and like you said do all the funstuff because life for me right now Iprobably don't drink how I used to drinkbut I'm having just as much fun so it'syeah it's about reevaluating I supposeas you go through life priorities changeyeah I mean I gotta say that I meantoday has kind of just started for me Iwoke up late but today is I say one ofthe best days of my life and necessaryghosts are the most fun days and thereis no alcohol and there is not stayingup too late but um you know at first Ithink it first released for me it was alittle devastating because all myfriends not all of them but the friendsI used to party with for life it lookedlike Maxim models they're gorgeous girlsand they were these heels and they couldliterally be on a magazine and we go outat night and 8iv many sneakers I don'tcare I had to but it's like you can't Iliterally couldn't do the things that myfriends wanted me to do like couldn'twalk and I couldn't be athlete that allthe behaviors of the Fiat Li wearinghigh heels you can't help normally allruin my back so I had to kind of justdisappear yeah of course for your ownwell-being I supposeyeah and it's better it's just muchbetter I mean there's a whole bunch ofpeople that are doing I'm actually gonnamake a list and I can share with you Imake a list of all these things you cando instead of going out to dinnerbreakfast lunch and drinks and there'sso much actually that would be fantasticif you have got something like that whatcan actually put it in the show notes aswell yes so then people that wouldobviously give the list of some value aswell thank you I appreciate thatwell there'll be a valuable list becausea lot of people don't know what to dowhen people ask them to do these thingsand then they do it and they feel likeshit and then they're like well thislife is slice Lots it's like they'lljust create anyway yeah absolutely Ithink that's a great point that isbecause I suppose one of my excusesactually at that time was are there'snothing else to do you know it's aFriday there's nothingto really do but I think that list willcertainly help people thank you for thatyeah yeah I'm gonna do that and have the77 they're just absolutely sublimebrilliant fantastic okay so my nextquestion it's about fear so you're avery very happy bubbly person who lovesthe laugh but what kind of scares you isthere anything that scares you in termsof everything everything Wow okay byethat person like hey I think you mightsee my Instagram because you can seewatches your stories but I recentlybecame with on a comical level I'mobsessed with and then on a comicallevel I'm into it like 80% but on a 20%level I'm really into it because Ibelieve in it the show doomsday preppersso like home invasions and security andlooting and the government going orwhatever in the water levels rising likethese are some things that go through myhead all the time right okayyou know in a healthy way because I didin our environmental event a couplemonths ago and there are there is allthis research that shows that in LongIsland there's going to be I think it'sa hundred thousand people that will haveto relocate because there's they'regoing to have flooding in their homeslike there are real things going on sothings like that worry me and thenhomelessness has always been on my mindI've never gotten close to it but Ithink about it all the time which isweird I don't think it's weird I justthink I think it's different I think thefact that you're thinking aboutsomething like that maybe with likeempathy or something is it shows youryour nature in terms of I assume whenyou think about it obviously upsets youand you think that's not right I'm justtrying to figure out why something soexternal that's in terms ofprobabilities probably not going toaffect you while you're letting thatkind of consuming because it is anexternal factorI suppose consume me but it's somethingthat like it's just something that youknow I'm not driven by fear but it'sdefinitely something I think of like forexample I used to give my dad a lot ofshit and you would always have two carsand what are you gonna do you're gonnayou're gonna ghost ride the whip you'regonna have one foot on one car one onthe other and sometimes you talk aboutsaving money and I'd be like what areyou doing just get rid of one car so Iso by psychic and this is really bizarrebut she's looking good you're gonna bereally successful and all this stuff andblah blah blah you know by the timeyou're 40 and you're not gonna have towatch your money but you're gonna bevery preneur yes because and you'regonna save money you're not gonna wastemoney I was like yeah because I alwaysthink you know what if it's that $70001000 dollar purchase and that's why I'mhomelessyeah right okay yeah absolutely that'sit that's a different way of thinkingI've never really thought like thatyeah weird no no it's not weird at allit's just it's uniqueso clairvoyance I just want to touch onthat as I see do you believe inclairvoyance oh yeah I do I do I don'tthink that I definitely think there wasa lot of BS out there and we're more BSand there is truthfulness but I'll giveyou let's see I'll give you this examplemy first my first situation someone cameto my house in my apartment in collegeright after college and we had gone tothe University of Maryland and partyingour freshman year with like older peopleand it was crazy and she goes she goesshe walks in and I'm smoking a hookahand my diagram my living room table andI'm not really paying attention she goesJaden do you remember my friend Hollyand I just look up and I go he died likethat was my reflex reaction I didn'tfollow him on Facebook I don't have anyfriends in common we're at the sameuniversity and she just is like what thehell he died I just knew so I've had alot of situations like that where I justknow things it comes out of my mouth sosomething's going on yeah yeahI don't I don't want to scare off mylisteners I know yeah but I believe init as welland actually did a course for a veryshort amount of time I did it with mymom actually and just to kind ofunderstand what goes on behind thescenes of it yeah and yeah it wasinteresting not that I saw anything oranything but he kind of explained howpsychics say what they say ie they getimages and stuff and then it's kind oflike about interpretation how youinterpret what you're being told andactually there was a lady close to meand I actually I've probably been toabout ten times in my life and some ofthe stuff she's told me stuff that youcan't guess you know it's not stuff likeoh you're gonna have someone die of aheartor something very generic it's it'salmost like your great granddad diedbecause he had an infection in his lefttoe and that killed him and then I'vegone home and I've asked my dad and I'mlike wow how is that just happened soyeah it is some freaky stuff that youkind of think why there is something outthere but like you said there's probablya lot more fake people out there whichwas I suppose suppose the narrativereally but yet I got stories on storiesfrom the same psychic who didn't know mydad at the time and he didn't know hiscurrent girlfriend of like 10 or 12years they both saw the same psychic andthey described that they would meet eachother at the brick wall behind them andthe whole place and how it would happenand it happened that I mean that's oneof them is crazy so yeah and I actuallyuse it with clients I actually I'vetaken a few psychic development coursesjust because I used to really benegative about it I used to kind of likebe really mean to my mom because my momused to be able to crystals and I waslike listen does it make sense you'rebeing crazythe only way to knock something is tofully immerse yourself in to learn aboutit so I was like you know what I'm somean about this stuff I'm so negativemy name's like let's just take somepsychic classes in 2014 I met some guyat a grocery store and he's likeliterally throwing business cards at meso I was like alright let's try it and Iactually um i i've known with everysingle client 100% if they're a bingeeater if they're lonely there's certainthings i just know fine yeah that'sfascinating you have to keep me updatedin relation to your journey because whoknows how much they'll take you somemore courses as well myself i think youknow it's just good to know like ifyou're in real estate or if you're inthe entertainment business like i I knowpretty much right away now like if Ishould deal with this first right notjust you know it's not even psychic youcould even just call it intuition orjust reading people really well whateveryou want to call it it's just reallynice to be able to walk into a room andwygor having to deal with all these newpeople you know as an actress and belike you know and they gonna that youknow is it should I go to this auditionare they gonna steal my organs and theyget a kidnapped into versus a realaudition and it is a real audition isthis something that I should do so yougot a feel out so much and all theseindustries in real estate - you knowthat's where's your time just playingdevil's advocate there do you not feelthose sometimes and this isthe response I get from my wife orsomebody is that when somebody tells yousomething you almost start acting moretowards that kind of path if that makessense so are times where somebody saidare you gonna purchase this or you'regonna do this and then maybesubconsciously it's gone into my headsomewhere I mean I don't try and do itknowingly but you feel that maybe thatkind of and you can't rule that outyeah I will tell you writing a book is alot of sacrifice you know it takes hoursand hours and I've been writing thissince 2010 it's a hundred thirty-fivepages but I've had at least eight if not20 different psychics who don't knoweach other all over the world tell methat I'm going to be like a globalhealer and help people la ville Bluff sowhen you have all these people tell youthings it helps because if for me towrite a book and then think you knowwhat this is a piece of garbage no one'sgonna care but when all these people whoare you know winning awards would becollecting so they're all telling meyou're gonna change the world and helpall these people it helps it helps me togo reaffirms it right yeah me too aswell how more podcast is up okay yeahwhat helped a lot of people ten thousandpeople before I die that's what Idecided oh you do more than that you dolike definitely definitelyokay so you've actually kind of answeredmy next question which was aboutmotivation and I'm assuming your biggestmotivation is probably to help otherpeopleyeah to help people to be out of painand help the people who are strugglingto get out of struggle and to helpothers who are pretty much doing well tobe more alphonse really super win that'sa major main goal of mine I love that Ilove that tough one as well on the wayyeah you you gotta have fun you gottahave the vibration for fun actuallyyou know the vibration of fun is gonnahelp you to succeed more absolutely sowhat I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put youthrough the paces now having heard thebuzzer go off so we're gonna go in threetwo onewhat did you eat for breakfast we'respells coffee gold lemon juice theability to fly or be invisible invisiblemoney your fame money your idea job whatI'm doing right nowyour proudest moment mmm writing lastnight's comedy your favorite food man noI'm just kidding I know yeah I love somany things I don't have a favorite Idon't know Netflix our YouTube mmm shootyou YouTube's getting better networksright now your number one goal this yearput out at least 20 hilarious comedyvideos and to get my book to at least atleast 30 more people minimum if not 100tea or coffee coffee your favorite sportall racket sports where it's tennisracquetball ping-pong if you could sitwith one person in the world for an hourwho would it beoh shoot god I'm my dad in second AndyMilonakisokay why is your biggest addiction foodsummer or winter summer your favoriteplace in the whole wide world my homelately would you rather speak alllanguages will be able to speak toanimals animals if you could abolish onething in the world what would it be painin every single form your favorite songever Oh Godokay we're gonna go with what I listenedto yesterday which is not the truth butit's captain and it's Ricky Ricardo andthe final question is read minds orpredict the futureFinnick the future fantastic it's weirdthat the last question was actually inrelation to the stuff we were quitetalking about that's strangeokay fantastic so we're almost at theend of the show now just got a couple ofmore questions I just want to ask you soI'm a firm believer in hindsight being awonderful thing obviously we can learn alot from our lessons we can learn waysto get to where we want to get toquicker easier or with less heartachebut I'm also a very firm believer thatthe journey that we go through teachesus a hell of a lot so knowing what youknow now if you could take yourself backto a young agent and maybe whispersomething in her ear when she was goingthrough some level of adversity even ifwe look at 2011 for example what wouldyou say don't deal with true gas pitcheryeah basically I mean that it sounds sostupid but basically in who and that'snot you know at your level or basicallyrelated to the goals at hand and purposejust don't deal with them I love that Ithink that sound advice that's pretty okfantastic so that brings us to the lastquestion and the last question I alwaysask all of my guests is if in 150 yearstime we are no longer here and all thatexists is a book and this book is aboutyouit's about Jen it's about her whole lifeeverything she's accomplished or theweird and wonderful things that she'sdone firstly what would the title ofthat book be and secondly what would theblurb at the back of it tell us aboutJen oh man well first I'll just have tointerject and say that I would hope thatmy how-to guide book would be much moreprolific and well-known than a bookabout me because that will help morepeople but um that being said to answeryour question um the title of the bookmaybe you read this fuck off or the lifewhich energy and then the eggs blurbwould probably be how to live the lifethe life of the life without pain thelife with laughter good all by havingfun in health and having that that drawthe viewer you know yeah yeah absolutelyit's a terrible summary that's not herthing don't don't destroy it I'm sure wecan obviously work on it when it comesout but yeah no that's fine absolutely Ithink I think that's it that's a goodpoint you've said it a few times in thisepisode is about the fun bit and one ofthe things I've always preached in likeespecially in health and fitness so Ialways say it takes hard work and I sayyou need to be consistent with whateveryou're doing but my other two things arealways about sustainability andenjoyment that's kind of my four pillarsthat I always kind of practice I supposeso it's just interesting obviouslysomeone else who's in the kind of healthand fitness space as well that you alsosay you know you need to be happy andyou need to enjoy it basically as wellbecause I feel like we're kind ofmissing that element in there yeah inthe health effects especially yeah Iwould like to add to it though I mean Ilive to NTC my ownfor ten years away from my mom my dadand my mom definitely has told me nohave fun but my dad more so you know Iam very critical even though I like toact goofy and be stupid you know andjust played themI am very critical I can walk into roomand I'm an artist I was art studio artminor in college I can see every singlething that I consider to be a flaw and aperson in a home and I and how to fix itthis is just how my mind works so youknow as I the reason why I'm like thisis my dad would always you knowinfluence and try to be like you gottahave fun he'll ask me you know I'm likeI did this and I got an A or you know Ihelp this client or a bubble blind yougo well did you have fun did you have afire mmm it's a brilliant question toask isn't itit's and he's one of the most importantones as well yeah it's so important soI'm glad that you know he said he wouldremind me because I can be I can getvery serious actually mm-hmmI think the whole world can't to behonest and I think I'm not sure whatit's like over in the in the States butif you if you pay a lot of attention tothe media and the the television andyour newspapers here it's very very easyto kind of become depressed and justthink bad thoughts all the time becauseit's just so much negativity being postpassed around and you're almost justhearing like bad stories all the timeyet there's so much light in the worldas well and so much wonderful thingsthat I think need to be expressed a lotmore so it's refreshing that you hadthat attitude as welland I think I think the world would justbenefit more from that so thank yousharing that I appreciate it before wego Jen I just want to give you a chancejust to obviously for the listeners letus know where we can contact you andobviously are poor or they're the finerdetails into the show notes as well yeahI don't contact me I like my piece um nono I I like peopleoh the good ones the good ones so wehave two instagrams at the life withgenerally we have at Jen Elise we havemy website which just got hacked thelife with Jenner ChiCom Facebook JenElisefeldy there's Tumblr and Twitter and theTwitter is life with Jenner G yeahthat's good and in relation to yourpublication yeah I'm gonna havebits of things on Instagram and Facebooklike if you go to my facebook profilephotos of Congress on there's a lot oflike the major productions like there'sfive movies coming up and the next fewmonths so they're gonna be like you kindof go through that you'll kind of seewhat's going on but I also do have likea resume four people are in theentertainment business on backstage command I have like a seven page whole thingwith links and YouTube so you could justbe like okay just what what's going onlike can we just have it in one sheet soit actually lists everything I'm up toand it you know goes through voiceoverand health counseling and hosting andit's totally organize and categorizefantastic okay excellent so I'll makesure I put those all in the show notesthank you for your time today and foreveryone else at home thanks forlistening thank you as us and rememberthis podcast is absolutely free so allwe ask in return is for you to sharethis with a friend and drop us a 5 starreview over on iTunes have an awesomeday See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 15 - "My Way" - Raj Sallan #15Tagline: "The only person that should be proud of you, is yourself"Raj Sallan was the Fresh Prince, before he got shipped off to Bel-Air. His parents swiftly realised he was going to end up going down the wrong path if he stayed in Germany, he was sent to Birmingham, UK where he was forced to learn another language, way of life and develop his own mindset. Having had to learn his 3rd language, Raj utilised martial arts, kick-boxing and boxing to channel his mind and found a passion that would see him travelling the world and proving all his doubters wrong.Raj explains that your mindset starts from the moment you wake up. He strengthened his perspective and mindset to help him handle not living with his parents for the majority of his childhood, learning English and fighting professionally in combat sports. Realising that nothing is impossible Raj has overcome his own levels of depression, loneliness and now spends his hours helping world-class fighters, girls and boys of all ages in becoming fit and finding their own confidence.A genuinely loving guy, whose energy is infectious. He explains his daily rituals that have helped him earn a favourable reputation in the fight game, but also as a genuinely humble human being.A story of adversity, with no excuses and an individual who found his voice and continues to write his own story.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rajesh.sallan (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/only1rajeshsallan/Have an awesome day #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so as you sit here nowlistening to this podcast I just want toask you a quick question now obviouslyit's rhetoricalbecause I can't hear your answer but howmany times in the last week have youthought about something negative haveyou complained when it really wasn'tthat badhave you mould about how little progressyou've made rather than actually commendyourself for how far you've came myguess is probably more than you wish toadmit and that's absolutely fine listenwe've all been there but what I findremarkable about this episode thatyou're gonna hear is I guarantee 100% ifyou listen to this all the way throughyour perception and your mindset willbenefit you will change it you willstart to feel I'll say silly for morningabout the silly things that we oftenmoan about because this individual hasnot only had to learn English as histhird languagehe was uplifted as a ten-year-old fromhis parents to live in a foreign countrywhere everything was alien to him andthe only thing he really knew how tocontrol was his mind and his hands andhis feet and with that he tells awonderful story so without further adoI'm gonna get this interview on the wayso firstly I just wanna walk on right tothe show and thank you for taking timeout of your day to come and have thisinterview myself how you doing today I'mfine right it's just doing well goodgood the UK where they're glad to hearit so I think it's important for thelisteners to understand a little bityourself now I've heard about you mywife's told me about you you know wantedyou on Instagram for some time now so ifyou could kind of give the listenersbasically a history of how you've cameabout to where you are todaywell basically am I was born in Germany1988 in Frankfurt and grew up in a roughestate area basically it was there wasno Indians back then it was just if youname it just like Turks albaniandifferent all different cultures but noIndians no Asians my family was the kindof the first Indian community aroundthere my uncle and everyone and growingone went school there stayed there -lost ten the time there was no peopleprobably asking what are you doing hereyeah yeah it's just growing up in thisstate area it was a rough and tough youknow being through fucking some hardtime and the other day and seeing myparents there being there and as anIndian people you know how did Germanthey say it's not it's not a racistcountry but they won't put everyone inone the cultural people would want inone area so where this day so this istheir area it was a being a bad kid Iwas like a as poor really but the otheryeah okay so I'm getting into naughtystuff at a young age theftnot going school just no he just beingwrong basically doing the wrong thingsthat I do you know upsetting my parentsthey wasn't happy they wanted a betterlife for me so come to a stage wherethey decided to send me here because mymom's side everyone's here my uncle's mycousins so they had a decision to makewhich probably was the biggest decisionin their life so they decided to send mehere to have a better life and todaythat's where I stand is here and I'mbeing threw me through quite a bit youknow from being alone softwaredepression this is probably most of thefamily members they don't even knowthemselves so when they hear this theyprobably think we didn't know this butI've never come up out of it really I'venever told anyone about it because Ilike to keep things sometimes myself and[Music]I've always always had that little thingwhere you know when I was young come onmy own and basically crying by myselfand I was a kid when I come here cuz Imissed my parents because the hardestthing in my life was probably was goingto that Airport and looking back and seemy mom and I'd cry maybe one else that'sa hard thing yeah it's a mental thingand that's a ten year old I don't knowwhere I'm going I don't know what'shappening yeah what's going so you wereten when you came over I was 10 yearsold and was jamming your first languagebut job dream dance from Indiana okaysome may not be fast champion easilyshould I didn't know I didn't have aclear barrage you know nothing Englishfrom the age of 10 10 yes fantastic andthen it was just hard time it's justhard that moment was very hard ten yearsold you wouldn't know you took back andwhy do you crying like we think he mighthave great for holiday of his back ofcourse I know what they said that youknow going then the plan was to give ita go see how it goes that's what my owncustom a moment which was good and thenit was hard that day I remember sittingon the plane at ten years old amount andit's going to another country to start anew life and things started and use thegood is better for me basically becausethe way I grew up in Germany there wasonly one way in a prison gangs or deadawesome other than something I didn'twant to disappoint my parents becauseone thing in my life that could never dois disappoint them they mean the worldto me and yeah another indeed appear nowin school world screedcome in years six or years five yearsalmost ten years old I didn't know noEnglish no English at all basically Idid not think I was that good fresh offthe boat but yeah and had to go throughlot of stuff as a kid because knowingnot know Englishmaking friends was hard but it was justvery difficult to be fair and the way Ijust gone through it I cried as a kid Iremember going home walking from schoolI had no friends and this is when Ifirst come over andthat long road in hands of going homeand crying and just being upset missingmy parents 10 year old kid would courseYong Yong you don't know you know youdon't know how you feel and it's justvery different unexplainable to peoplethat unless they've been throughthemselves they know I feels and it washard there's hard times and then slowlyslowly things started changing for meyou know I just started getting thinkingin my head don't one thing I always saidto myself in life is that it's all aboutyou know your brief you got two arms twolegsyou're not worse than others knowthere's people out there in lifestylegoing through lot worse than yourself soI always that's one thing one of themsecond is that the only place that'sgonna believe and use yourself you can'tbelieve in yourselfand having faith in yourself then youknow I strongly believe that you knowpeople believe in like North ofAttraction the universe I thinkpersonally you are your universe you arewhat you think in it you become what youthink so absolutely things change for meyou know if I didn't have if I didn'twant to become like my parents oreverything I took a lot of criticism inlife as well like you can't do this myparents up to because they sent me yeahas if our Asian families are they'll putyou they'll put a lot of people downthey like to say oh he ain't gonna donothing course of course being in amaking oh why you sent him there for myparents after he all that then it waslike a it was me against the people asone to prove them wrong that you knowwhat I'm fuckin of made it yeah you knowI am Who I am I'm a good personI've not turned that wrong a lot ofpeople expected me to come here and takeadvantage oh yeah and film become adruggie junkie do whatever can you knowmake most of it because my parents inhere but um you know you know plenty offriends we just forget just before thisinterview as well I've been mutualfriends we've got as well yeahdefinitely is so I think that'sinteresting what you've touched from ityou said a couple of things that I'vejust made notes of so one is you becomewhat you think and believe in yourselfthis is something that I know is a verydate hero you have to say affirmationsand implant that in my head now and Ithink indirectly because you've been putin that situation you have to developthat yourself andgiving you some strengths although youmight not have seen it as a strengththen it's brought you into the personthat you are now which I think it'sfantastic because and a lot of peoplelistening to this probably had a lotmore shout class yeah whereas you wereby yourself and you thinking buddy gotthese two hands and legsyeah and just speaking on those twokinds of legs now yeah that you knew youhad you've done incredible things withthose yeah which I just wanted to tellthe audience as well it all started witha fire school basically okaywhen I was in Germany I was a bit of atempered kid you know it's but I stillgave too loud so when I come here I wasit - I got into a few fights and this ismy first the first few month for youalreadyand my uncle goes to meet my mom'sbrother he goes you know you gotsuspended from school you just come overhere in basically Punjabi because Icouldn't speak English course and sofrom there he started and there he goeswell I'm gonna send you to kickboxinggym and I go ah they don't give me acoke it's nothing they asked or justyeah by then I made friendsI put friends by them you know peoplethat were around me and school friendsand I took one friend with me and saidlet's give me a coke see what's aboutyeah and who wants me to go okay andwalked into the gym and then from therenever looked back cuz just suddenly Ifound a talent I wasn't good mmm yes soit wasn't actually beating people up butit's something I had in me and I usedthat a lot if it wasn't for that I thinkthat sports and combat sport fightingand all that helped me in a way my usingmy hands and feet my mentally if it mademe better and it was more energy changedeverything like if I was upset at homeor if I was feeling downoh go to gym no I'll use that a lot andthen that just made me who I amfrom there he just kick-started amateurfights I went to turn pro in Thai boxingI had laws of numerous fight all overthe place over India to fight at a proMMA fight for winning age and over 20pro kickboxing fightsit's incredible a mature buck cells aswell as boxing for Saint Francis inBirminghamfantastic yes or other good chance I waseven told to stick to boxing and one wayis that gonna be pro in that but I justlove kicking okay yeah so that's whereyou all started my hands or feet andthey kicked off then I think that'swhere I I saw your Instagram stuff Nickinitially because I know my wife Tommylove about you because you went to thesame school and she said it's reallyinspiring you've come from completelydifferent country and you found your wayin life and I remember going to be spokeabout this just before the podcast goingto ask them University yeah which iswhat ten miles from my house can getthere in 15 minutes yeah and I washomesickso Monday to Thursday by the timeThursday comes I couldn't wait to gethome on a Friday so I can only imaginewhat it's like for a ten-year-old kid tokind of have to do that but I don't nowwe've spoken obviously before this yougo home a lot now and you visit inGermany quite yeah I spend much timewith my family I can I personally thinkthat nowadays degeneration now theyforget their parents and they forgetabout the old alumni like I spend a lotof time my parents because thedifference with me is that I've notactually I've lost a lot of time withthe growing of pianos and not being withthem so be going back and then everytime so anytime that means the world tome now first thing you couldn't you knowa man if you don't spend time I agreeand I'm sure they're very proud of howfar you've come now they are yeah theyare very very proud but the mostimportant thing is my dad always tellsme is the only place that should beproud this are you proud you have peoplelike that that's what matterspersonally I'm proud of myself that's apretty messy that's the best thing toyou now look that message as well andthat's something that I try and getthrough this podcast as well is thatyeah the way we look at ourselves in ourself-worth and stuff like it's the mostimportant thing yet cuz it's nicegetting plaudits from the person nextdoor or somebody across the road butuntil you start looking yourself andbelieving in yourself I'll do somethinglike this is something I don't are manyByrne I wake up in the morning and speakto myself let me read it and there's areason why I do it because then I wentto see someone about three years agomm-hmmand he helped me the way to think andwhy how to change negativity intopositively I don't you feel great aboutyourself so he said do something liketalk to yourself yeah but he actuallyworks so I realized that your mindsetstarts from the time you wake up youknow when you say your feet touch thefloor yeah that is when your mind startsworking and whatever you think whatthought you wake up with so if you wakeup negative your day is going to benegative if you wake up positive you'repositive so walk to the mirror and I gotthis little white top where I just say Iam positive I am rich I am blessed I ammy own God I am this and that so and Italk to myself yeah and then I said toher I'm gonna have a great day todaydo that and it helps me yeah that'ssomething that really helps me I knowsome people might thinking wow that'sthat but that is something like I canreally really help someone it's a mentalthing and this is like a you mentallygetting stronger and your mind youyou're basically transforming your mindset you straight positive team andyou're looking forward to the day thenit can rain out there because no evenwhen I'm finished knowing and it's shitwhether I'll say it's a toy don't stopme doing the finger prize of course it'sthe mindset how people yeah and I know alot of people that wake up in themorning say example one day I hatemondays absolute that's the firstnegative word that you say to yourself Ihate why do you hate go and do what youhad to do come home make a plan yeahthink coffee I love that so it's one ofthem things I think as you were saying Ijust opened up my diary so I have everymorning five thoughts and it's similarto yourself I am powerful I understandmy own bothyI am perfect every single morning bestthing and it's only something I've beendoing recently as well but it's soimportant like what we feed am I here soyou're an athlete you know what it'simportant to feed your body physicallystrong but if this is weak that knowseverything there's no point of it's notpoint being you know I mean the bestbody but if you're my name right it'sthe same with the fight game you can bevery good in the gym you can beyou can be whatever but if your mindsetswrong and you my name in the fightmm-hmmyou must say you lost the fight yeahbecause it's not there lost it before itstarted yeah but a lot of people don'trealize that so my mind is a powerfulthing I don't think people realize it Ithink you're right there I think it'sbecoming a bit more and this is probablybecause I look into that fear you've gota lot of mindset coach and a lot ofpeople talking about it but when I hearit from someone like yourself who's putit into practice in an arena and done iton an international stage I find it alot more authentic and real so I'm gladyou said that and it was actually theone of the next questions I was gonnaask you was about your routine and so Ilove athletes and if I could if I couldhave a separate podcast in this they'vebeen just interviewing athletes becauseI think it takes a certain type ofperson to get to the top to stay at thetop to have that mindset because itisn't like you said it ain't all aboutyour physical attributes you'll be thehardest hit but if you aim right hereyeahand somebody's got more clued on therethey're gonna have perform you throw itmain rhythm as an example indefinitelyso what I want to ask you is this was mynext question what do you do until thetime you go to sleep so obviously youall can have you spoken to yourself inthe mirror now yeah what are their kindof rituals or habits do you do in theday often saying I can go back to when Iwas fighting yeah yeah what I used to dowas we stay twice a day or three timespushing it depending coming to a fightwaking up in a pony go for a jog I'mjust going back when I was at school myuncle used to wet this secondary schooland I was competing then amateur leveland I was doing then I'd turn pro and Imean my uncle waking you used to comefrom a nightshift 4:00 in the morningbefore I go school is to make me go fora jog go for a run so the technologiesyou hear I was 14 to 16 this was and thededication was built in me already youknow having that warrior mentality andthat listen you gotta train hardmaintaining one way to so what we usedto do is train three times a day say maxand diet so when you wake up in themorning you run check your weight comehome eat you gotta watch my eat as wellyou have a nutritionist watching whatyou eat if you don't have a nutritionyou some people do it themselves whichis good as well so my daily routine isBella and especiallyall days was going school all day watchye at school wow this is the time whenno one hardly knew realized I was inyear eight nine I was just my name wasjust coming out and not people knew thehouse no one knew that I was doing itonly later on people found that comingfrom school finish school come home grabmy bagdon't do no homework come on felt liketraining back there go straight to thegym to our session and then back homeeat food go bed then after that when Ileft school it was the only thing thatchanged was there was no school time sothat's when three times a day trainingstarted just running in the morningtraining from different things likestrength speed and sparring session padwork different sessions and needs to bethree times a day eating right and hedays used to just go basically and thenI'm coming home in the evening afternoonchilling with the family and then in theevening if you feel good you go formother jog and this is when it comes toan eight week camp fight camp your aimis to get fit get mentally strong andget your weight down as well dependingon what weight division you find thatand then they just carried on like thatI've done that for a good 15 years to befair herI've been training since I was 10 stilldo it now but I'm fond of fighting fitand fighting professionally I stopped at25 my last fight was 24 when I was inIndia a fourth road and times change butI still keep the same similar routine Istill go for a jog here in l a-- wake-upcall for one you know in the morning andI love going running in the morning at 4or 5 I love that I love that it's thefresh a door full run go work andespecially with my job now you know wedo shift work so I work everythingaround it and the only thing that keepsme going is my mind basically your bodycan get old as much as they want but ifyour mind is strong can control yourmind and yeah and the funny thing isit's your mind that tells you're tiredeven before your body is as well yeahand that's something we definitely kindof battle with yeah I looked at and Ijust sort of touch on that so you'vedone this for like 15 years I had a veryvery short period and this is kind oflike something that I celebrate where Itrain like an athlete as a knight Igot myself under an Olympic coach nearboxing what I was doing with thosecopying national champions so when theywere training free time today I wasdoing the same yeah because I knew I gotinto the game late and I really wantedto go on a floors so I was training andI was copying them I was eating theright stuff and I couldn't understandwhat you're saying there I'm not sure ifthe listeners will get this but there isa point where your body and your mindare in sync that you do stuff that youthink shit how we're doing this becauseyou're training so would you do so muchand the reason I say that is because nowI'll go to the gym and people normallyis not comparison trained or whateverbut the intensity that I had for thosetwo years is 10 times more than now whatI can't do is bring that intensity backhere so now when I go to the gym the momI'm tired up I don't know I just kind ofthink okay let's got that Communistsabuse away and I wish I could transformthose two years of a true athletesmindset into now are you able to stilldo that now so you know how you wouldtrain that 25 can you bring that alittle bit back or is it a matter ofwhen you're not competing it's difficultto do I know exactly it doesn't makesense yeah I don't make sense to doright there especially the copying partmmm that's exactly why I used to dobecause watching people like the runningI got from sue my uncle told me run inthe mornings and everyone that fight hermentality and I just watch people likeTyson and knowing the jog in the morningand he watched these videos okay andthat's the copying part like justthought you said yourself you copy itand do it but that's the only way tothese people are there it's by of courseyou learn from them so that's why itlike Mayweather says you know what myopponent sleep 2 a.m. in the morning I'mgoing for it says it's a very good copyit's not a bad thing it's doingsomething that they're doing and then itworks on you but going to transformingit if I wanted to do that now andeverything I could like I said it's asit my head I knew boys the older youget or do you believe as welllaziness kicks in you know andresponsibilities change appear you knowyou have a lot more other things to doyou know work people get you knowrelationships and everything justchanges but in your head you got a youhave like a notebook and you writeeverything downtoday I'm gonna do this tomorrow I'm dothis you know you can write a routinedown and it still can be done it's don'tcoming there's nothing impossible inlibrary people told me I could neverspeak EnglishI've never got to speak English or aschool I get picked on here a day not asin you know just not picked on but justlaughing you know he can't speak Englishoh my cousin's would say oh and I thinkyou know what I realize now nothing isimpossible even when I was going throughthe depression point no I'm sad I justupset cryI never should tell my family no oneused to know I should be on my own icelike be a man just cry and miss myparents but then while Walter went alongand I got older I realized that you knowwhat nothing's impossible I could doanything or what you know whatum these people were standing out therewhat am i crying about what is wrongwith meyou know I mean I can do this dusty andtoday I'm here nothing today right nowI'm probably in the most longest mindsetI just believe in myself that I'm alivethey feel the good energy yeah and thisgood energy but Zampa when you passpositive energy got me excited herebefore we started this you can see howhappy I'll wait that's the best thing todo is the vibrations between two peopleand it's a straightaway you send it tothem and you want to spend time withpeople like thatthat's it girl one thing I have to do isthe certain people didn't say family orfriends who all they do is negativenegative negative and when it's yourfamily and friends you can't always cutthem out yeah so after do is limit myconversations with them or if I'm inthere if I'm in their proximity isliterally like how you doing and then Iwalk away because I don't want that youknow what all of these kind ofrelationships and this is where I'mcomplaining nowadays in life and on thegrand scheme of things and people haveinterviewed on this and includingyourself their problems that you knowthe trivial the minor compared to whatyou guys have been through nobody's beenlifted from their parents do you have tolearn a third language to that you don'tbe fired in and they're notunderstanding what people are sayingabout them to then having to developtheir own - such a young age where I'mhere now as a 30 year old still tryingto develop myand I'm seeing people who I'm actuallyworking with now who you are older thanme still trying to develop their Mon soI think it's you should be very proudfor this yeah I think it's commendablethat you've been able to do that yeahespecially it's true you don't think Iagree with that exam it's that fuckingthat did you do so you can't give a fuckabout anything fuck what people thinkfuck what anyone thinks really and dowhat you make sure you have people yeahif you work on yourself you're nevergonna get out of that blockage it's acircle around you like we've seen it alot with lot of people not mind coachespeople saying it like they put and diein the middle then they put circlearound it that is you and you can't getat that comfort zone you're just in thatmiddle you have to break through andthat's what he's like I had a friendmake for me two weeks ago saying I wannacopand I said to him you found me to tellme you walk onwell how about you think to yourselfthat I am gonna get I'm gonna have thatcar or believe that you already in thatcar believe in yourself like I said yeahyeah there's no one else gonna believein you you know I mean you can't askphone someone can you believe inaddition of everyone else that's it yeahcuz I knew this was interview was comingup and I try and learn about the persona little bit I took myself back intothose two years and the key to mysuccess in those two years was adecision I will just make a decision andbelieve it oh there's an analogy whensomebody says I'm trying to quit smokingfor a bit or somebody just says I don'tsmoke anymore they're two differenttypes of people the person who doesn'tsmoke and move will not be tempted andnobody will really ask him wheresomebody's that off stop smoking for abit the most aren't you're gonna getasked in a grave you want one or they'regonna be very very tempted it's kind ofyou've got to make your own identity youdo if that makes sense ain't the worldlike I'm trying change that try to I amNOT little words how you think I'm whatyou say your language you know yeah youto yourself what it's raining today orCongo you know but you say I will go forwhen the rain stops to be rain is notgonna kill you you know it's just it'sthe mind thing to be fair it's it's hardit's hard I know what where people comefrom like for me softly from beingjudged mean creaturesis going through depression at a youngage you know feeling alone andovercoming them things it's just it'snot as easy I want people to know thatthey're not on their own you know I knowpeople it's hard to explain to someonehow you feel but they need to realizethat you're not on your own becausefirst of all these people not worse thanwhat they're going through you knowsecond you're breathing you know he gottwo arms two legsyou put got a roof over your head getfood on the table and end of the worldnever think that and just feel strongabout yourself and even yourselfbut never give up and that's one thing Ithink in the Asian community is Wallynot all there's nothing wrong with youdon't worry you're just crying allyou're just upset it's a debate knowwhat's going through yeah you don't knowwhat's going through the person's heador what's happening and me as a youngkid I remember them little things when Iwas on my own and crying and all sortsit was quite hard and not family membersdon't know this to be fair but all thecomment in a way that it was that fuckyou attitude like you know what I'mgonna I'm gonna prove people wrong youknow I didn't care what people think butI used that as a I'm gonna prove a momthat I'll turn that good and I turned updoing I achieve things that day car so Iused them as a fuel baby that's why Iused the mass and it carried on likethat and my mind just got stronger andstronger hmm and anything even todaylike I mean people who having a bad dayand I turned their mindset it's just metalking deception isn't it yes it's howyou see itand I think you took started this soyou've been doing this since you attendthey pretty much and that's probably whyyou're better at it than most people Ithink the important thing people shouldtake away from this episode is make it ahabit yeah so how you go to the toiletat night how do you go have a showerevery morning it needs to become a habitthe way you speak to yourself from howyou see stuff so another good thing I doother than these five things I dogratitude journal is oh so I used to doevery morning which is fine butsomewhere along like the day after a bitit kind of rubs off so something badhappens even myself I'm guilty ofsometimes looking atwhat I do you know I do have themtonight as well so I'm doing gratitudeas soon as I wake open before I go tosleepit just helping me and my natural vibesand everything it's very hard for me tonot be grateful for what I have like yousaid I've got two hands and a few of myhealthtouchwood at the minute got no diagnosisof any illness isn't nothing I get to goon holiday I know what I get to live thelife are what I'm blessedyeah do you know what I mean I convincedmyself of that because because I amnever give up attitude may seem you knowthat's the best way to be and beinggrateful I've always been grateful I'llbe my dad and like we come from nothingmy parents come from nothing and we haveenough today to keep us happy and that'sall that matterswhich is how well you know half is themost important thing of course and youknow I've always been bought up in a wayto think that stay humble as well and begrateful and that's well yeah and that'sone thing about me I love that andthat's something you preach on yourinstagrams in your facebook as welllove that because always I can relate tothat so on my Twitter I just kind of saystuff that comes in my head it's kind ofme talking to myselfyeah because sometimes if I'm a bad daymy first thing in my head is going backto a prayer yeah and listen to how youtalk so be that person that you sayyou're gonna be here and I wrotesomething the other day which saysgrowing up I didn't have everything Iwanted but I had everything I needed andthat's literally how I grew up and andthat's kind of like one of my timelinesas well because I think my life is thiscompared to so many other people that'swhy people it's hard for them they thinkthey're humble but they're not reallythey don't understand how what it takesto be grateful you have to believe inthat you know what I'm happycoming for my breakfast is a bit hardtimes II was me I know and I've seen youknow looking at my friend he's buyingnew train is no lazy Navi and now I'msitting up and for one but I still don'tgo and get what I want because I knowI've got enough I don't you know that'snot gonna change your liver whathappened it's all still here it's notcause it's a big example my friendsalways like oh why didn't get yourself anew car you know you all you need toknowwhat can I'm humble in a way that my cartakes me a to be I'm happy that's whatthe purpose of a car is that's all ifyou could treat yourself to treatyourself don't forget where you comefrom people forget where they callthat's what happened I agreethey really forget asleep hour for alisten that is I think so I come fromsimilar backgrounds no not as bad as youin terms of not being very humblebecause we had normally going up and Iremember the moment I got my first goodjob he was in London and I was anymoremoney thing on you wanted to deal withand when I say what money I mean to meto other people it's probably a normalsalary so I know all this money and Iremember Bibles designer gear thesejeans and stuff and if you go upstairsto the third bedroom they're all themjeans and all them teacher I just and Ihardly wear because yeah very quickly Irealized that doesn't make me happywhat makes me happy is being able to dothis or help people or give a hunter andthat kind of the best thing you can doyou know helping people is one of thebest things as well even if it's doneit's like the littlest thing like I'llexplain some time was of course tellingthem how if they're saying the day'sbeen bad try and help and be they bebetter not have a joke or just havesomeone just maybe someone small yeah Ithink I thinking in the world butgrowing up humble and down to half isprobably my first thing not taking myheart honestly from your hair is thefirst thing that there is respect beinghumble and down to the best can comeafter that's the best thing I think theworld would be a better place if there'sno greed then like lot of people arethere's not greedthere's a lot of competition Cubacompetition not a lot of people competewith them with others or their mates ortheir family members like I've alwaystold my parents like listen don't worrywhat people say let them talk let thembe they think what they want let themthink what they want they're jealous theHaiti they got a negative problem whichthey need help in but they don'tunderstand that especially in ourcommunity indeed pretty they see theywon't know that they don't stand thiskind of stuff this is like if you canfucking get it what can't you why don'tyou do this why don't you do what theydon't realize the other person might behappy you know they're happy with whatthat for my dad my dad one kind ofperson like you were says to me whatkids are happybe healthy about reform I'll either seeyou always you say that his whole lifeand you're drilled into my headno even though I didn't grow up withthem but but then let them believeremember yeah I remember these thingsand now always when I stay at homethat's why I got that little white booktop of the mirror and I love that lookhoney and I've got one thing that I'mI'm rich yeah and you know how I feeland well feeling about everything I wantyou keep saying that the things that youdon't you don't expect they'll come toyou anyway then you're attracting thator anything of course but yes like Isaid it's not easy for people out therethat's hard but I already know I lovethat you've shared that because that'sliterally how I think yeah so we justbefore we started this episode I toldyou I'm selling this house now yeah andI was like we're gonna get ourselves asmaller apartment and two other peopleit's gonna be like shit you're given abig house for a small little apartmentfor what for me is my happiness mywife's gonna give up WIC we're gonna betogether I don't care that I don't allmy house that doesn't bother meI don't care my family or friends say ohyou don't want to have anymorelisten not many people do all thathouses the lights on the houses for astart but secondly it doesn't bother meI've got not ego in relation to thatwhat I am doing is controlling my ownlife I'm living life on my own terms andmy wife's happy that's the best way andgoing back to banks on that to be fairwe don't own exactly nothingwe're here for a very very short amountof time we're leasing almost everythingin life you know to me we don't ownnothing and all your own only thing yourown is your own happiness their ownmindset and yourself absolutely and likeyou said you and your wife are happythat's when you care about a lot of thepeople out there to care about the kidsand their parents and that's what theyshould be this I think time is morevaluable than money you know I mean themost most important commodity you canget money all day long you'll get thatforever at the time you never get thatback and that's me saying it becausethat time I lost with my parents I'llnever get anything I get that back yeahme growing up as a most of my friendsused to go back schooldon't open the door go back home sorrydon't open the door one day mom and dada day no I didn't have that feeling Ididn't know what it's like growing upwith parents or what it's like beingwith you in a moment dad and my mom anddad had to go through a lot they have tocry you know they're always outevery day have known a magic I mean I'mnot a parody I can only imagine how hardthat must've been a song he was alwayssaid to my mom and dad I said no there'speople are there I've lost you know theparents in walls and this was going onnow and people are you know dying and Isaid don't worry I'm fine andeverything's goodand I always came that positive energyand that thing that I'm gonna do welldon't worry come off it and I will neverbasically we say flop come so I'm gonnaprove everyone wrong don't worry andsame people they used to criticize usthey don't even want to look at me nowyeah yeah I know I still pull my handout unshaken because that's not the wayof yours just because they hate youdoesn't mean you have to hate back don'tgo on to their level yeah and mostlikely reason that they have these kindof opinions or something positive stuffis because really it's an opinion aboutthemselves so when they see you doingstuff or saying you're gonna dosomething they believe they can't do itand that's what it is I had it well Imean when I was 25I'm 25 slate and I was like 42 poundsoverweightheavier than I was now tits andeverything and I would but I want to goand box it every single person close tome other than my mom I like my brotherand like my immediate family were likeyou can't do it straightawaydad already decided my fate in here justincredible how do you guys know youhaven't seen me try I wasn't as good aswhen I was 17 when I first know but Iwas like oh because I was so likefocused I was like respond I think Icould do something because I had anOlympic coach who told me I could do itand I was at surely his opinion in thatfield matters a little bit more thanyour opinion yet but then saying that ifI never had that guy tell me that Iprobably would have believed it and Iprobably would never have tried it and Istill say to this day those two yearsare the best years of my life I neverachieved the things that I want to dochief but I built my counter and I builtmy strength and I built so much about meas a personyeah in those two years that I think isreally important that was me literallyignoring people's opinions or definitelyurge people shut up everything the thingis that when people when people say toanother person you can't do it who arethey don't you are needy they'renobodies they just feel like that butthemselves that they Condor is on youcan do itand it's good in a way because when youstart thinking like that you getstronger and you think to yourself youknow what that's true who are they totell me and you that's why sometimesthat period of my life where I gotcriticized judged I probably took anynow people but they won't do to my faithbut yeah but you need them peoplesometimes because they've got a issuewith themselves in within themselves ofcourse but they're taking it out onothers but you need these people becauseyou use them as a competitive thing likeyou know what I'm gonna prove you wrongthere and it helps you it pushes youeven more and it's just forget it I justhave this quote from the whole two yearson my wallpaper on my phone and it was Ido because I can't I come because I wantto I want to because you said I couldn'tand that's what it was because there wasso many people that said I couldn't yeahI'm just gonna go and do this now yeahalmost to prove them wrong so I get thatyeah it's very hard but like I saideveryone goes to so much through lifeand you mentioned the depression thingearlier and obviously you know you foundfighting as your way of kind ofreleasing energy and helping you and allthe benefits of exercise on mentalhealth and depression yeah how did youovercome it or is it something that youstill feel you battle with now I thinkum I don't have it no more now basicallyup in a way but back then when I was akid I didn't know it was depression okaybut it was but I realized afterafterwards it what it was because goingin a room lock yourself up and crying isjust as a 12 year old and I was 10 to 12that's when it was the main period andit was a bit more you wouldn't realizeand you think one more crank you justyou know but that's what's going on yourhead is telling youDanya you're on your own you got no onethere your mom and dad that's so faraway you know you have all thesethoughts going through your head andnegative thoughts basically and hestarted from there and I worked myselfin a way thinking and first of allsports was helping me anyway keeps yourmind of things you know like I alwayssay to people find a hobby don't have tobecome a sport do any sport it could beanything you know sitting playing onPlayStation yeah sometimes it gets yourmind off things remind some wellabsolutely and the way I overcome it isbasically I was justone day I'll just come home and thinkingto myself I'm about 14 now and I'm doneit in ages and I was thinking to myselfhold on I felt alone I'm not sittingthere I was thinking and no one caresabout me you know I want to go back toGermany I don't want to be here no morebut then I started thinking these peoplestarted coming all in my head thatcriticized me and just my family myparents basically and everything and Isaid if I go back now and give up Igotta hear that for rest of my life andmy mom and dad will have to hear thatsay he didn't make nothing of himself heain't done nothing so at 14 I have tothink and more 14 year olds they don'tthink about us knowing no chance I haveto prove after thinking my head don'tthink you know what I can't do this Igive up no matter how hard it becomes Iwill not give up I was there yeah andprove everyone wrong and I'm not tellingeveryone that it's easy to do you knowdepression is it's a very I don't thinkit's looked into as much it should beand it's quite hard and not many peoplecan overcome itbecause they feel that there's no oneday and of course you know I mean untilnot only in the hard waylook I didn't speak to no one I usedmyself as in I'm gonna do this I'm gonnado that I'm gonna prove them wrong andI'm gonna give it a go I'm not gonnagive up and then I never gave up fromthey carried on I went through a lot ofstuff through it throughout then as wellI lost my grandparents in India mum ormy dad's mom and dad both died day aftereach of that and especially a funeralday it's a very different thing I'vegone I've lost fights that's made mefeel down you know I've had shitperformances fights I've been criticizedjudged again this was around 18 19so through in my whole life there's beenbits and bobs but I had that one thingin my head I don't give a fuck I am NOTgonna give up and I'm gonna carry on andtoday people respect you for it you knowpeople think you know who's strongminded person yeah definitely and nowI'm just too old I'm getting I feel likemy body might not be the same that I waswhenwas 18 I'd like mmm fire and then gotthe punches got the kid speed whateverbut in my head I'm still that lion andhe still there and if I have to dosomething I know I can do it my bodymight have to be shattered even if it'snot fighting or whatever is all trainingusing that one is yeah unify they saypeople lose their jobs they getredundant the baffled they don't knowwhat to do they go to a pub they startdrinking no cuz they don't used tothinking one fuckin into the worldno walk through that door be happy mmmsee your familywhat about girlfriend kids where thatsmile say you know whattomorrow's another day absolutely simpleas that to do them and that's the way toovercome things it's hard it's it's noteasy I'm not saying it's easy but youknow yeah I think you need mindset yeahyou've got like an athletic like a toptop level of mindset but the thingsyou're saying is you're not saying youdon't feel it as well yeah you stillfeel pain you still feel this struggleor making a hole and you're not Supermanlike nobody wants to wake up and runningthe cold but you have to do cosnecessary you have to do and if anythingif we can train ourselves whether it'sthrough exercise combat sports orwhatever it is like any goals we have isit going to discipline yourself yesthat's really where you get your rewardsyeahdiscipline yourself alone you have todiscipline your mind and your you haveto think right and it's just like likeyou said it's not easy but what isn'teasynothing's easy in life and this is athing and I think I'm not sure of theright word for it but I feel a littlebit sorry for people who haven't beenthrough the hardship in life or sufferedas much because it's more difficult forthem to put themselves in somebody likeyourselfs position yeah see the thing isyou had your back against the wall youhad no other choice easy there look Iquit and this is the end now or I keepfighting forward and you're callingforward stand by swing it's true even asa kid like when I was in Germany goingthrough being bad influence through Iwas only seven eight and I wasn't doingtheft and that and literally you knowjust I think the only time one thing Iremember is getting my head kicked in bya bunch of sixteen year olds me I'm aI'mseven years eight years old but that wasthe life growing up in the state and Ithink coin from coming from Frankfortthey stay area there and come into handswith it's just as bad well yeah I boughtthat mentality to England that no one'sgonna fuck with me and I am Who I am Isee and they've helped me I don't knowme I remember last time getting introuble here in England you know juststay disciplined and then what I have todo found a talent kept up with it keptmy head strong you know regardless ofwhat happens in life they're gonna beups and downs gems are gonna come that'sno matter what they don't matter who isokay you can be a celebrity you can beyeah multi-millionaire credit they'reall going through storms and they allcome through life where they stressedand they're whoever but the carrier ofthe carrier they don't give up you knowand that's the way to be to be basicallyand I carried on to be fair I boughtthat same mentality it took time andlike I said I still you have ups anddowns now I have ups and downs now andthen but doing that thing like waking upin the morning how makes it positiveit helps Lord and I hope people try thatthis you try all right definitely I meanI've started yeah I told you you'd liketo get people to start it because it'simportant out and the thing that'simportant is you showed your underability there so we all know you as thistough guy yeah you know kicking ass allover all over the world but it's good tohave wannabe of you as a human sayinglook I still struggle that's it but likeyou said you've got two choices youbefore you go backwards and yours isalways to go forward keep lookingforward and don't look back basically ifyou start looking back you living in thepast of course live in the moment that'swhat we've gone the future that's got tobe fair forget the future the past livein the limit yeah I believe in thatmoment you know you wake up that's yourday live in that moment that time thatyou got in that lake every minute hourwhatever counts yeah and giving thatmoment I love it future is a plan pastis gone forget that and the moment iswhat you're gonna do then whatever youdo in the day doesn't mean I'm tellingpeople to train or whatever not asathlete wise as a normal human beingwise find happiness firstin yourself and think positive and whatyour mind just starts changing myselfI'm just living that moment I love itthat's the best way brilliant bro Iappreciate that great lessons there um Iwould ask you then another question andso I know you're not scared of likecombat and stuff stuff that most peoplea normal person on their own will bescared of confrontation is tough becauseobviously you've been then you're notjust competing against a normal personthrow it you're competing againstsomebody who's trained and probably justas hard as you yeah but other than thatwhat else in life scares you then youknow what be honest I've never fearedanything to be fair the only thing Ifear and as in person who Dean he'sprobably my parents losing my parents Idon't feel nothing else I can go back tothe bottom I know I'll rise up againnothing fears me but we all know that weget old at one point and we're gonna usepeople we love and it's a hard thing andespecially like me that I haven't spenttime with them as much as I want to domy life and try my best I'll doeverything now a lot of people ask mewhat you want you go holiday come withyou mate so I can do that whenever ofcourse at that time I have off I'll gohome and that time I spend with my momand dad it's the most important time inmy life and I think if I fear anythingit's losing my parents in life basicallynothing else fears me I could lose wahwah lose my house I can lose my job I'lldo whatever is but you can't replacethat you can't replace certain thingsyour parents are one thing that youcan't replace you loved once somethingyou know and that is my fearwe take you for granted yeah we doanother fear that a lot it's it'ssomething that you know you gotta acceptit one day it's no and but you don'twant it to come and that's the fear youhave any you've got the right mentalitythough that every day is you basicallyseize the dayyeah so you make the most of it I'm thesame I think that probably one of mybiggest fears as well my immediatefamily obviously if you know is you doand I know a lot of people use thatdreams to inspire my sometimes use likemy nightmares to inspire me so I Isometimes I know it sounds a bit morbidbut it's like just imagine if this istheir everlastingdo you know what I meanthat requires we have to really give myall on the day because my my end game isfor them to have their life that they'vealways wanted a do you know mean untilthey have to find that for them so ifyou always because I'm not the longeryou take the more chance it is of thatday coming that's it yeah that makes itand you're right that is using that isbasic I use the same thing like I alwaysthink the opposite I think to myself youknow it's God forbid something happensto him that's why I booked my ticket onthe last minute hang on when I have thattime off it can be two days three daysI'm their dog of course no catch theflight I'm gone you know I mean I coulduse that money to do anything I want Idon't know anywhere in the world if Iwant some toys and do I want but thattime I spend with them that's the bestwas the best time and even if he's justsitting at home and just talking tohaving it laughing just chilling itcan't be no there's no that's the onlything I personally fear anything else Idon't feel like you can throw me in thejungle with nothing you know I meanobviously I'll come at what I've gottado and going back to the bottom of myadvice by cooking I'm not scared normalbecause you know once you've been thereyeah you don't fear to be there againbut you know how to wake yourself upthen yeah you can be poor rich but theywere still living our India and you seepoor people you see you know how peoplelive and how people are they still haveyou know yeah you don't mean it's crazyeasy it's still happy I'm going Thailandback end of last year and I rememberthis one particular family was a threegeneration family and they were justsmiling in this very small hut whereclothes on the line that didn't looklike they were washed but they werewashed I don't mean that in anydisrespectful way but happiness it wasalmost like an advert you know that whenyou watch these business embolus and Iwalked past it with the wife and we justwalking back to the hotel sir that'sbliss I mean like no God they've goteach other that's actually enough youknow those relationships they gothappiness love and I was like I lovethat it did change my perception a lotcoming back from a place like that and Ithink them as people especially intoday's society so glued to ourInstagram and we should go out there weshould look at these people and travel abit of the world and see how lucky weactually are I went when I fought inIndia for in Bombay andit was a the poverty day was crazy andpoor but I've seen it remember goinggrowing past in the car on the righthand side there's a mom with the twokids and they seemed happythey smiley and the kids were playingand they ended up in the dirtthings are not change you know you'regonna experience a lot that change andyou think you know always complaincomplain why am i complaining but yeahgoing back to the fear that's the onlything I fear in life otherwise I don'tfear anything - yeah I was gonna say ifyou don't see that the guys getting itherefair enough fair enough so I'm gonnaassume obviously your parents are yourbig motivation but you're also likeyou're inspiring other people as wellnow so you when I've talked about yourInstagram yes if you're waking Mackenzieaway commit will China another minute aswell what keeps you motivated to stillkeep that up because I'm not even aboutday job as well yeah through touch phoneyeah so you went from network around isit yeah engineer you're an engineer andyou do that full time when I see you Ijust see you is it after you keepfinding people and doing amazing thingswhat inspires you in terms of keepingthat going is that just something thatyou just enjoy this part of your life orhave you got a bigger inspiration to doanything and I'll be honest you knowwhen it's been in use since 10 years oldit's an it is in your blood and you willnever give it up he's always gonna be inyou that attitude that fighter mentalitythat been there done it and he inspiresme in a way that I used to do this it'sthe world I lived he was it's what mademe I'm not I'm not when people say knowme as me they know me as the fighteryeah yeah no means nothing so easilyit's gonna live with me foreveryeah so that's why it pushes me to helpothers I like to help but I like to bein that environment in that gymenvironment where kids are training itreminds me of me and when these guys aretraining for Big Show's big fights andI'm holy punch to them I'm training himit reminds me that I'll be through thisand I love itI think it's great and Guilds all boysand we have students that are littlekids from girls to boys and this so muchtalent out there and I think it's justbrilliantfor them to get off the couch or hang onthe computers they enacted yeah I thinkit's it's gonna be in me forever alwayswhen it comes to that side I'll alwaysbe there in that sport environmentbecause that's something that stuck withme yeah yeah it's always there and I'malways there to Harper I think thisinterview is going to be interestingthough when people listen to it becausethere's a lot more about this as well asyou as a personyeah and I think you don't give yourselfcredit for how wise and how emotionallyin terms of you you've obviously taken alot of knocks to the head as I telogenbecause I listen to a lot of largepremieres and world leaders and mostpeople speak the same things so that themax of everything is the same everyone'strying to motivate us by I said therewas stuff but what it is we will have adifferent way of communicating and yoursis obviously through your fight game butsome of the words you're saying today isit's literally like I'm hearing it andyou can see how excited I'm when I'msitting here because I was just hearingsomeone I admire lip killing it acrossthe game saying the same stuff yeah sothere's obviously a secret to thesuccess you know the secret ingredientwhich people have it and whether it'smaking money or whether it's inspiringpeople are getting to the top of a5-game the things you are speaking aboutare amazing so hopefully this interviewgives that and I think you shoulddefinitely try and showcase that more aswell we touched on mental health andthis is something we'll take offlinebecause I'm deuce a couple of projectsin mental health so my mom suffered withit for eight years on know how seriousit is and I think having someone from soof health and fitness background into itthere might be room for us topotentially work together or somethingto what help into poor people awarenessis tough so I'm excited for that becauseI think you've got more than just hornypants for people you've got a lot oflife why I like helping doing space ofthat I don't see I'm doing yeah yeahsometimes if my friends all my family oreven my parents of the day of negativetimes on the talky negative I'm thinkingI'm explaining it to them yeah it's truelike you said you don't realize you havethat in your head you have it here likeyou don't have to have a great a beall agree but if you got generalknowledge in life and you know how toespecially help people I made peoplehappy no life experience is the mainthing a female nowadays this youths outthere that like thatyou know I mean of course parents wantto give them everything on the platedon't want to see them struggle butthey're not gonna experience life she'snot gonna not true no and I think thebest lesson they could teach at schoolis how to control and understand yourown mind which is something that you'vehad to do definitely cuz I remember lasttime using science I use it a little bitfor fitness but generally speaking yeahit's some of the stuff is okay yeah Idon't know how to pay tax and yeah ofcourse they should just be like a lifeschool or thing yeah yeah but I thinkthat's something that I'll probably dowith my kids because I'm not I've gotacademics yeah then the whole degree theMasters and stuff and it's not really some where I want to go look this stuff Iwanna do I don't actually need any ofthat so for me it's like I've justwasted so many years so when I get kidsand stuff I'd love first I'm gonna getin the club box it's a little boxyengineer sports all that's also butgenerally speaking what I think whenthey get to a certain age if they find apassion or something they wanna do Itook their choice yeah absolutely theirchoice and another thing I want to hiton is basically a lot of people don'trealize this when there's no differencebetween a girl and a boy a girl can doanything that a boy can understand Iknow girls are tough for the boys yeahthey're champions and I don't disagreewith the thing that a female can't dowhat American you know they can doanything anything that American andnowadays females are more successfulthan men really do what and he's justthe individual that's why yeah because Iget a lot of parents saying that oh yeahmy boys gonna do this but how about yougirl look of course it what means shecan't do that no example like fightingor boxingoh my boy he might not want to do thatbut you go might become a world championbe and it it's I mean yeah there's a lotof female fighters now I'm seen comingup as dangerous imagine you also is allgonna bring on a female power lifterit's just a normal girl that youwouldn't think thatthe power of technique and everythingthey got and everything else boys thisgot their own training and it's hard andit's all a point athlete and fighting tothe sign as a person and human I'll bethrough things but I'm still standingokay so there you've heard it the buzzerhas gone off now we're gonna put Rajthrough his paces and I'm gonna askingthe most random questions ever was 60seconds so are you ready buddy yeah I'mready let's go okay brilliant three twoone what did you eat for breakfast seeya the ability to fly or be invisiblevisible money or fame money Bruce Lee orChuck Norris Bruce Lee your proudestmoment your favorite food pizza Netflixor YouTube Netflix your number-one goalthis year just be healthy boxing orkickboxing boxingwould you rather know how you will dieor when you were dying your favoriteboxer ever everything more or less yourfavorite MMA fighter ever John Joneslove or money love books or moviesyou're number one fitness tip yourfavorite workout song yes if you couldsit with one person in the world foranother who would it benot bad your worst fear is a child youever seen what is your biggest addictionjunk food summer or winter winter yourfavorite place in the world India if youcould abolish one thing in the worldwhat would it be your favorite superheroyour biggest friend and the finalquestion is your favorite movie starRobert De Niro really good stuff okay sothe next thing I ask is about reflectionso if you could go back to maybe anearlier time in your life where youcould whisper something to your youngerself say for instance when you're firstcoming to Tom that Airport yeah youleavin funfair fine you comin up toEngland and you can just whispersomething into that kids yeah knowingwhat you know now what would you say ifI'll take it back to that timewhen me when I first left Germany goingto that Airport back with my bags nowhispering to that kids hear my sob I'lljust say go there and smushy hmm you'regonna make it okayso we're actually at the last questionnow and this is a question asked all onmy guess yeah and it's if you're nothundred fifty years no members arearound anymore and all that exists is abook book on the table and it's a bookabout your life and everything thatyou've done open to whenever you passand on that book what I wouldn'tobviously what the player would be andsecondly what the summary would tell usabout you at the back Montana would bebasically my favorite song with no oneknowing this notion of comedy it's myway from Frank Sinatra okay love like mybook would be called my way yeah becauseI've done everything my way the way Iwanted it to do the way I wanted it tobe and that's why I'll call it just myway but a picture yeah okay straightahead my legs and the name my way and atthe back just a great human beingbasically like how people and wentthrough the struggles through journey ofmy life and a Beatle come my way my waytry and get the truck oh yeah I lovethat song literally but um yeah that'sit really but that wouldn't be the bookand I will be the back the journey of mylife okaythat I destroyed my way no fantastic andI've sort of said thank you again forobviously sharing your story I knew it'dbe good my wife's been telling me forages brought myself as a podcasting backin the day but she was like you need toreach out to write you know it's got anamazing stories inspiringfrom the moment I met you today yourenergy and stuff appreciate thatthank you very much days on I'm justlike as a friend now I'm proud ofeverything you're achieving and whatyou're doing going forward until yourparents are as well and just before weclose up the show what's the best placethe audience can connect with you orfollow your story they can connect withme through Facebook social mediaInstagram Facebook and your names forthe names are red silentokay on Instagram only one radish saladI likeand they're on Facebook right silentI'll come up and you'll knowstraightaway and you spout Raj Raj andmy second name is sa double L a andfantastic so I do he's operating in theshow notes as well you'll find a lot oflike training footage as well I'm surethere's a lot of mindset stuff in thereas well obviously if you throw a liketraining like I knew actually before Imet you I was gonna want to go to thegym after this episode so I've got myshaker ready I've got my gym attire onI'm going straight to the gym hopefullyinspires you guys but also inspires younot to make excuses in your life becausethere's always somebody out there who'sprobably got it with so thank youRaj and for everyone at home thanks forlistening and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 14 - "And still I rise" - Bep Dhaliwal #14Tagline: "No matter what life threw at her, she felt the pain, she cried the tears, and then she chose to rise..."The Queen at finding the Silver Lining, Bep Dhaliwal shares her incredible story. You may recognise her from her fantastic movement, Thrive 365 which focuses on life coaching and empowering others.In this episode Bep discusses her incredible perspective on life, having overcome cancer and seen the damage it has done throughout her family and friends. Initially having a career in the Corporate world she has now transitioned into something more self-fulfilling and purpose driven.Her infectious and positive attitude is evident as she has had to re-evaluate her own mission in life, focuses solely on helping to empower others.A truly emotional story, which resonated with me personally due to Cancer being a common theme in my own family, I am grateful Bep shared her story and encourage you all to follow her journey.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bep.dhaliwal (Personal)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Thrive365uk/ (Thrive 365)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thrivebep/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bep-dhaliwal-coactivecoach/Apple podcast app:https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/find-your-voice/id1448344412?mt=2Stitcher:https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/aren-deu/find-your-voiceSpotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/3EYhA7LvSu8vi3sTL07GGs #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aaron and as always I am thehost of the show so what a fascinatingstory I've got lined up for you todayyou see this person is not onlyinspiring but she carries so muchstrength and I have so much admirationfor her because life hasn't been easyfor her however she's not sitting theremaking excuses she's not sitting thereplaying the victim card in fact whatshe's doing now if she's thriving 365days of the year and while she's doingthat she's helping to the people so Ithink it's really gonna hit home withquite a few of us that listen to thisand I think there's certain parts ofthis episode at least not gonna resonatewith you at least they resonate with mebecause some of her stories I'vesuffered similar stuff in my lifeand maybe you have too and I thinkthere's real beauty in the way that shedescribes a struggle and how she'sovercame it and how she's coping with iton a daily basis today so I think whatI'm gonna do is jump straight into thisone again it's always more fun listeningto the guest than myself let's get thisshow on the way okay so I just want tobegin by obviously thanking thelisteners for tuning in to the showtoday and more importantly our wonderfulguest today which is Bev Dahlia so howare you doing today I'm really goodWinkie great too great to be on andgreat to speak to as many people as wecanfantastic fantastic so as we touched onjust before this off is always obviouslytrying to get you on the show for quitesome time now mainly my fault I'd liketo rearrange because of my cold and mytissues which I still have but I thinkit's important for the listeners to getto know youa little bit and understand your storyso if you wouldn't mind if you couldjust kind of tell us how you progressthrough life and kind of ended up whereyou are today okay and so as ayran saidmy name's Bette I I suppose I'd probablydescribe myself as a regular Indian girlwho was being brought up by some amazingparents actually who have worked reallyreally hard so you know they were thefirst generation to come to the UK theyput a lot of their dreams on hold interms of you know my dad wanted to be adoctor and he ended up having to work ina factory just you know bringing thecash et ceterathey both had an amazing work ethicwhich I think has helped me my brotherand my sister to really appreciate thevalue of kind of working hard and youknow being respectful and looking outfor each other and caring and you knowfamily first sort of those kinds ofthings so it was really privileged andactually you know months all of that andI was working hardthere was also loads of fun so you knowwe've just laser fun things as kids notwith a lot of money but you know it'sjust making time for each other reallyand because my dad work shifts we'd havea lot more quality time with him so thatwas always really you know good so hemade sure that we played in that timewhich was amazing and then went off touniversity it was probably the firstAsian girl in our family to go touniversity he see that had his ups anddowns so for me the ups were obviouslylike loads of freedom and friendshipsand it just felt like you know oh my Ihad never really experienced freedombefore so it was just life with norestrictions and it really sparkedsomething in me in terms of just beingindependent and just on my own two feetactually putting myself first you knowthinking about what it was that I wantedand Load came from that so you know thatwas a really important time in my lifeafter university and got married Churchyou know chose the guy that I wanted tomarry because I kind of wasfresh to get married and unfortunatelythat didn't really work out we you knowyou kind of realized quite I realizedvery early on that we were just livinglife on very different you know myupbringing had been different values inlife were very differentand there were later lessons you know Ireally should have realized at thatpoint in terms of the power of trustingyour gut you know which I really shouldhave trusted even today and I didn't butthere was just a lot of pressure to youknow I suppose to live the dream that Isuppose for some respect you know myparents had given me the freedom to goto university I owed them something backand although I chose this guy you knowbut we we all learn a lot in thatprocess my parents in terms of a spacedout strong and independent I can be forme it was just a case of wow sometimesit's really important listen to yourparents and their gut instincts but youknow don't worry about it and that's thebiggest thing for me is that you knowyes it was you know seven or eight yearsof my life but who I then became was aperson that I just think wow I wouldnever become that person if I had stayedin that kind of relationship or not beenthrough that yeah exactly not beenthrough that and then I suppose you knowhad a few years of again being singleand enjoying my life and then I met theright guy and got married and thencancer came along and threw in somecurveballs so very early on into ourmarriageprobably about eighteen months in Ithink so yeah so that's me yeah faith interms of just that additional element ofWho I am I am I supposed part of theother theme that kind of ran through wasI had a 20-year kind of corporate careerso I was working you know in a bigcorporate business for 20 years invarious different roles sales marketingPR and I were recently left in 2017 andset up my own business called Wray 365and it's literally about how you canthrive every day I love itokay thank you for sharing that you'redoing this thing now which is thrive 365obviously I'm assuming because of yourcancer situation and it's kind of changethe whole perspective on life and Ifollow use now on social media not in astalking way but I'm very inspired byyour messages and the work that you'redoing out there have you always beenpositive inspiring motivational have youalways thought about doing somethingperhaps like this in your life or is itbecause of the circumstances that youwould doubt you felt no actually I needto give up this corporate life and Ineed to have a shift in my life it'sdefinitely been because of a secondsentence is not I've never ever thoughtabout running my own business you knoweven than my parentsdid you know my mom had a sound wave isNess and we all bought up in that and Irealized how much hard work cause that'snever been my thing my thing has eatengo you know bring in you know a safesalary and I think for me it was alwaysa case of them you know and bring homeyou know a decent enough salary in termsof living a nice quality of life and butbut then it was always that case of forme it's factly I suppose even after thedivorce it was a case of actuallythere's more to life than work and workwas my nine-to-five but it was what Idid outside of those hours was whatenriched me and really kind of likebought more perspective to my life andthat's where I wanna see a lot of myenergy but the cancer definitely made memade me really stop and think about whatI wanted the rest of my life to be aboutand it wasn't necessarily mynine-to-five I've have had cancer in myfamily kind of ripped through it as welland it does completely change yourperspective and I'm not I'm not sayingit was a reason I kind of gave upcorporate because I gave that up for adifferent reason but I think if it wasto happen at that time I'd probablystart to reassess my life as well and Iguess that's kind of one of the reasonsI I want to do this podcast is because Idon't want people to wait for asituation or a circumstance in theirlife in order for them to kind of thinkdo you know what I better make the mostof my life all of a sudden because a lotof us is just going through autopilot inour life to this shame it's a shame tosee because we can do so many beautifuland wonderful things out therecould we just if you wouldn't mind justexpand a little bit just so thelisteners know in relation to the Thrive365 yes sure say and I think for me likeyou said and I think you've alreadyrecognized as well just you know cancermade me really really stop andreevaluate everything in my life and theone thing I realized that you know thatI really wanted to do was to to make themost of every day and there's somethingabout and thriving doesn't mean thatyou're living life 100 miles an hoursometimes thriving for me is literallysitting in front of the telly watchingGrey's Anatomy because that is the bitthat that chills me out and that's theprogram I just have to watch on my ownand it just settles me and it you knowit does everything and I am ready thento face the world after I've had thathour and so thriving but it's justknowing you know knowing that actuallywhat is it and it's so personal and it'sso individual as to what it takes forsomebody to thrive every day and sowithin my business that's what I'm doingI'm helping individuals throughone-to-one coaching in terms ofunderstanding themselves better and thenalso you know going into corporates andI'm just the on-site coach that againgoes in it just holds that space forpeople to be seen and heard and to feellike they they value their valued andthat they matter because I think therewas something so I suppose about youknow not living life on everybody else'sterms and expectations and I thinkabsolutely for me it's that journey ofknowing who you are and I didn't reallyknow who I was until even I supposeactually was the it was after when Idecided to get divorced I also decidedto invest in a life coach which was thebest thing ever and she really helped mework on my values because I was so stuckabout who I was and everything obviouslyhad been turned upside down for me and Ijust thought I don't know how tonavigate forwards and you know and sheappeared at the right time and justhelped me recognize my value you saythat every decision I then made with himmy values were embedded in thosedecisionsand I think that really helped fantasticI resonate so much with that in relationto my corporate life I actually I did Ididn't employ a life college similar toyourself but why did is I had somebodyhe was a lot wiser than me at the timeasked who I saw as a mentor and he heactually asked me the question Erin whatare your values in ethics and it's oneof the question where you know it as akid I suppose or you kind of live by acertain way but then you kind of forgetit and you like the whole autopilot andthen all of a sudden i sat there Ithought I don't actually know the answerto that and I remember sitting there andI went home that evening us I used tostay by myself in a hotel when I wasworking and I sat there and actuallygoogled ethics definition and I waslooking around to kind of get someinspiration and then when I started towrite it down it wasn't far along afterI say about five or six months later Iactually give up corporate world forforever and I then went on to become asocial worker and kind of attachingthings that resonate with myself interms of giving back and stuff so yeah Ifind that really interesting that yousaid that I was gonna say that that'sgreat that you actually were able tohear that and take action against itbecause I just I don't think Idefinitely didn't realize that I didn'tknow what my values were I knew thatthings would trigger me and I'd getupset but I didn't realize it wasbecause something whatever thatsituation was was treading on my valuesmmm-hmm and I think there's so much inthat you know the corporate world isamazing the you know for giving youperspective and introducing you topeople that have that awareness and thatcan mentor you and I've learned so muchin you know my 20 year career but I justthink you sometimes it's those lifeexperiences that still you know helpabsolutely and I think you hit the nailon the head when you said about knowingwho you are and the funny thing is Ithink so many people including myself atsome stage I didn't know who I was andit's such a simple question but I thinkI kind of wish that everyone can justmaybe take time out of their day or inthe weekend or something just acollective thing is everything I'm doingin my daily life itis it working towards my core values atleast because if you can align those inwhatever other sector is you will findsome level of fulfillment happiness Imean that's kind of my take on it and itis it's about the alignment piece and Ijust think I wish this stuff could betaught in schools in terms of I didn'ttalk quite recently citizen teenagersand I was desperate to say to themplease don't lose sight of what yourpassion is now so be it sport BR keepsomething that's just yoursbecause that will be also be a piece ofhow you thrive you know almost every daybecause you need to have something thatconnects with you and and I suppose oneof my other biggest life lessons iseverything starts with you and you knoweverything everything is centered but ifwe don't take the time to know who weare or our triggers are what ourpassions are then that's quite oftenwhen we last and we stand we get on thiswe live life on other people's terms andyou know with other people'sexpectations and then actually that'swhen you then end up potentially gettingill because you realize that you areliving you know very stressful lifebecause it's not in alignment and that'swhen I think sometimes you know theawareness hits and sometimes that's toolate you know because the illness orwhatever is that's happened is there andi reaiiy mutl on that page of let's dothis early let's just realise now andyou know you you you can change you canfind a way absolutely to help inunderstanding yourself better and livelife in a so you know so much moreempowered way but yeah I can relate towhat it's like in a corporate lifeyou've got early starts you've got latelate evenings and you're pretty muchworking more than the state seven and ahalf hours that you're contracted toyour life's change now and you're Isuppose you're kind of living it on yourown terms have you got any sort of dailyhabits or anything in relation toroutine where people who perhaps aregoing through this phase where they'retrying to find themselves and they're alittle bit lost could perhaps adopt ormaybe kind of alter anduse yeah I suppose one of the thingsbecause my you know my my weeks mymonths are all very very differentbecause I'm kind of out doing laterdifferent things networking you knowmeeting new people you know doing someclient work it's all really reallyvaried but something I realized isespecially in terms of you know walkingmy talk how do i thrive every day andand i think there is something aroundthat that i know i'm gonna have a goodday if I literally do you know startwith exercise in the morning but thenthere's something about you know thatthen triggers me to then eat wellthrough the day will be much more awareof what I'm eating but then also I thinkthere's something about taking time formyself so I you know I have I actuallyreally enjoy time on my own in terms ofyou know either listening to ameditation doing a bit of journaling youknow I don't have a set time in which Ido that and actually give myself a bitof a break on some of that stuff andthink actually you know what do I feellike today like what is going to enrichme what's going to feed my soul todayand sometimes it's actually even justconnecting with certain people that Iknow do that for me as well I spend alot of time with my familyand so I've got two young nephews and Iyou know where I can they're probablyyou know them and my parents are theones I think okay I'm gonna get a buzzfrom spending some time and that's thefreedom and flexibility I love workingfor yourself that you can factor in timeto do you know and suspend where youknow you're gonna get a lot in returnand it is going to enrich you and theseare things that I don't want to everlook back on my life and think I didn'tmake time for the right people and andall of that so I think having thefreedom and flexibility is what I reallyappreciate but also I've realizedstepping away from corporate now justhow free I am to learn and grow insubjects and areas that literally feedmy soul soI'm a passionate you know I just feelthis so much more I've got to learn andso I do you know spend quite a bit oftime in terms of reading absorbingthinking out how I can use some of thisinformation with my clients and so I'mjust constantly feeding myself likeknowledge but also experience and givingmyself time to still get to know myselfa lot more and I've kind of said myhusband and myself a challenge this yearthat this year is all about us in on anindividual level so what is it that weboth need to do for ourselves so that weare still connected and I kind of feellike I although I am connected to myselfI still feel there's so much more I needto know about myself and I think thattypically again the whole you know I'mthe big sister I all my energy goes oneverybody else and and I need to writewhat I really want to just stop andthink actually stop focusing oneverybody else focus on you and what isit that you need I think you need toobvious if it's like the analogy youneed to fill your own cock before youcan fill out the people's up there's somany fantastic points you saw you spokeabout there you walk in the taughtyou're getting to know yourself and Ithink in a relationship and being inrelationship myself as well just gettingto know yourself and your own needs asan individual I think his song yeah so Ilove my wife to bits she's my rock she'severything and she allows me to do whatI'm doing todaybut we've also I'm very fortunate thatshe thinks similar to myself we bothrealize we have our own needs as welland I think you need to all asindividuals but ourselves kind of firstand I know it kind of sounds selfish butin order if you can do that right Ithink that we can obviously give so muchmore out to the world yeah and I don'tyou know I've kind of challenged youknow I've always thought oh my god is itselfish is it selfish and I realizeactually it really isn't that selfnurture and that self-love and self-carejust means that you you do fill your owncup first you know you are the bestperson you can beand then other people benefit from thatthey don't burn a curd and InTouch andall of those kinds of things I thinkpeople it's so much more from when youare in a good place so whatever you needto do to get yourself into that goodplace first that's what everybodybenefits absolutely i 100% agree i thinkthe hardest probably point is for anyonewho's very giving in the nature andactually is to kind of flip that breathbut yeah i think you've hit the nail onthe head I've seen massive improvementsin my life my wealth my health andeverything and by taking that slightlyselfish approach and to be honest itdoesn't even need to be anythingextensive so what I do is I wake up anhour before my wife and within that hourI will listen to something that willhelp me mentally and I'll go to the gymwithin that hour so by the time I comeback I'm then fully present and focusedon like my relationship and then thework and he just it just works so muchbetter so yeah fantastic the the nextthing I always like to kind of ask myguess is about adversity and I know Iknow some of your story and I know withthe kinds of scare as well I mean if youfeel comfortable could you explainperhaps maybe for listeners who could begoing through a similar situation or canresonate with your story a particularexample of when you've you've gonethrough this adversity and it's like aparticular day and how you overcame itand I think more importantly the lessonsyou've learned from it because I thinkthat's really important that hopefullythat can give some insight to thelisteners yeah sure so and you knowcancer is my story really and if you'dhave said to me years ago you know whatdo you want to be named or like I wouldnever have chosen cancer but it hasliterally is big it's become the veryunwelcome visitor in my family who keepson showing up and bringing a differentfriend every time which is just reallyreally annoying but you can either drownwith all of that or you can find a waythrough and and I've chosen to find away through and I suppose our storystarted I suppose in in 2012 and myhusband was diagnosed with lymphoma sothat's a blood cancer and that you knowobviouslyjust knocked the not Dez off her feetcompletely because he was the oneactually narration when a relationshipwho is a healthy one and actually myfamily a lot of people would look at myhusband and think no this guy's me thisguy goes to the gym and he eats well andyou know and he's a good guy and and sothat really shook and it was the firstkind of real experience in my immediatefamily of cancer and his family and sowe you know we didn't know how to dealwith it we didn't know how to cope withit what we realized you know veryquickly was you know you lose all senseof kind of control and you become partof the system and so even for me I youknow being the person on the sidelinesthat wasn't really able to do anythingso as a carer you know it took hist ohbecause everything centered you knowaround the cancer and everythingcentered around his treatment isall-encompassing and it's over thing youyou just think live breathe cancer whatare we gonna do and and then you getstuck in the system of like okay we'regonna do chemo and his and his chemostarted straight away and you know andyou get into a regime takes loads ofdifferent drugs in between chemo cyclesand and yeah it was the it was it wasmental you know as a family likeeverybody was just like how did we dealwith this and and that can cause tensionin itself because everybody wants toprotect to make him betterof course you know and I think so thatwas really really tough in terms ofnavigating how we were approaching itand in the end my parents were amazingand you know my husband fainted afterhis first chemo when we were just athome and so my parents said actually youknow you can't do this on your own andso we moved in with them so that I couldstill do a little bit of work work forme were they saying as an employer and Ihad an amazing boss who basically justsaid he's your priority look after himand work when you can so I was so solucky just kind of to it with you knowis really they were so supportive and Iknow how lucky we are because that isn'toften the case in cancer journeysand so we just kind of fell into aroutine in terms of managing symptomsthe one thing it really did bring homewas oh my god do we stress about stuffthat really isn't important you know anduse every day yeah I know because Ithink we all think we're invincible andnothing's going to happen to us and sowe get ourselves so caught up in thingsthat aren't important and so we realizedyou know when he was on that journey andand every day and you know in his 21days there's always different as to howhe would feel and there are some niceside you know like people get angry andyou know and and miserable because ofwhat the drugs are doing to them and sothere's lots of things you don't see interms of you know from cancer and andbut we did start enjoying simple thingsso just going for a walk you know we'regoing for a cup of tea in a cake all ofthese simple things that we so take forgranted suddenly it became so bigbecause whenever he was actually up toit and was able to do that that was abig thing in our day so so that wastough and then on a holiday to celebratethe end of his cancer journey so he wasreally lucky and he he responded reallywell to treatment and he was inremission and then we went on holiday tocelebrate the end of his treatment andhim going back to work and then onholiday I found a lump in my breast solook at that so that I mean that was thebit that it was hard because you know weobviously thought we were we were at theend of it and and we were and for methat was really hard because because Ijust wasn't used to putting myself firstor even being the center of anythingwill essential attention and and the onethe biggest learning I suppose from thatwhole journey was it made me realizethat I matter I didn't realize that allthat should be eating had um a bit andactually I'm so grateful for cancer formaking me realize thatyou know it totally made me step offthat treadmill of life that was thetrigger for me in terms of you know okaynow it made me question everythingeverybody in my life everything that Idid how I was living my life andobviously I'm so so grateful that bothof us got through it you know I I haveobviously been part of some journeysense where people haven't got throughit and you know a really good friend ofmine like one of my best friends whoreally stepped up when I was goingthrough my treatment and she just youknow happened to be on maternity leaveat the time and so we ended up spendinga lot of time together and I canhonestly say that she since then hasbecome my real sunshine pal and so I sawher whereas other people didn't knowwhat to sayand it's awkward and people avoid youwhen and things like that she rose tothe occasion and she stepped in and andshe just became you know I'd like to gosee her and she just whisked me off fortea and cake and do things you know wedidn't have a nice lunches some lovelylovely things and who knew thatliterally in that year in 2013 as I wasgoing through my journey her and herhusband then moved from where they wereliving in Windsor up to Nottingham shareand which would be near her familybecause she just had her second childand then her husband got diagnosed withbowel cancer and sadly he dies in 2016at the edge of that overall and I justthink but you know mine and Louise'srelationship as a result of all of thisis it has become so tie and so strongeven though we've got distance betweenus in miles how she actually hasinspired me beyond belief in terms ofhow you how you face death because sadlywe hate talking about death but you knowdeath is a part of life and and actuallybeing at the end being there at the endwhen you know George very peacefullyburied I'm seeing how she was and howshe shared that with her two boys whowere three and one and a halfliterally today inspires me to my coreevery single minute of how she dealtwith that and how she continues to dealwith it actually so much so thatshameless plug here we are going to dooverall cod cuts terms of adversity andyou know um what it how it can changeyour life and in a way but better if youif you allow it if you hold it yeah ifyou choose to see things differently andit is all about perspective and the giftin the suffering you know so there issomething that can come from it andthat's why we do you know of course ourown little sunshine tribe people that weknow will always hold that space for usand will always let us live loudly livebig dream big be the best that we can bethe first thing I want to say is uh youyou spoke about gratitude day I'm justvery grateful hearing your story and I'mthankful that you're able to share thisfor me I was getting I was getting alittle choked up myself a little bitthere because I can relate in terms ofcancer just ripping through families andcausing this heartacheand I sincerely hope that you know thekinds of scares for yourself yourhusband and for your friend and foranyone out there really that you knowthat they're long gone and that we finda solution and you know your health goesfrom strength to strength you you alsoyou touched on some amazing things andone of my wallpapers on my phone isactually there's beauty in the struggleit's just a little quote and it comesfrom a song but I think at that time wealways think you know it's justhappening to us and the world ishappening to us and it's it's all aboutperception and I been through quite abit as I'm sure the listeners have andyourself and I really have managed tostart changing my perception whensomething bad happens to myself and Ithink it's made me the person that it istoday you touched on beautiful littlethings like just going for a walk andhaving a slice of cake with a cup of teaand I think we often forget these littlethings because we're in this world wherewe see social media and we chase andthis we're chasing this dream that somecelebrity or some improvhas got on there we get the beauty liesalready within us and it's within reachyeah and I think sometimes we're chasingthis stuff because we think we're notenough and you know and we need toconstantly be feeling like there's morethere's more you know and I justsometimes I just think there's so muchin the simplicity of a moment whereyou're not actually doing anything isjust you're with the right people youknow and there's just something magicalthat if we stopped and and stopped it'sa really big word for me right now interms of stuff and just let it be orfully appreciated it was you know I kindof think this this one moment in timeright now is the only one that we caninfluence absolutely and it's the onethat's going to be you know if weappreciate how good we've got it rightnow in this very moment then we realizehow blessed and how lucky we are becausewe can't influence you know we all havedreams on what we want for the futurewe've got experiences in the past thathave shape does and I you know I've hadto realize that I'm not going to haveall the dreams that I wanted and my lifehas not gone the way it when I was 20that I kind of expected it to go but boyam i a richer person because of airsometimes we don't know what's good forus and what is in and and if I don'tmake the most of the rest of my life nowI've got the choice to realize that I'mnot forever and you know and right nowhow blessed am I for the experiencesI've had up to now and I know that therewill be loads more twists and turns inthis life then was I've always got achoice in how I respond and I've got achoice - you know I would definitely sayacknowledge the emotions acknowledgeeverything that comes your way give itspace to let it teach you something youknow I still know that a lot of mycancer journey for myself I did it inthrough denial you know I kept onputting a smile on my face is whatpeople needed around me that's the otherthing I want to anyone going through acancer Joejust just expect the family and friendsjust know that that patient quite oftenand is having to be really really strongyou I mean because they can see the fearin your face and actually I know thething that really helped me through myjourney was having a counselor she wasthe person that I could go to that youknow wasn't you know a close family orfriend and and she was the one I couldgo to and say what if I die you knowwhat do I need to acknowledge in my lifehow do I prepare myself if that isbecause you when you get the cancerdiagnosis you face your mortalityit's a massive smack in the face youknow and you realize have I doneeverything I've wanted to do up to nowand like you said earlier in the podcastdon't wait you know for the cancerdiagnosis don't wait for that you knowanother massive illness or somethinglive like now because you know if youtrust any of them and they are true I'msure all like the stats that are outthere by 2020 so next year one in two ofus are going to be affected by cancer atsome point in our lives and although myfamily's taking taking one for the teamin quite a big way I I still think it'smore you know just to stop andacknowledge the power of you right nowand living the life that you want tolive on your terms absolutely absolutelyI I want to talk about something justafter this first point the first pointis that just in relation to what yousaid there and you you you got yourselfa cunt counsellor sorry to speak to youabout having been through would you havepreferred your family to maybe speak toyou openly about it rather than kind ofsee as the elephant in the room becauseI only ask that because I find it veryvery difficult if like when my uncle'sgot it or when my uncle passed away withit do you kind of speak to him about itand it was always kind of we justignoring and pretend everything's happyand we're all smiling yet we'd go homeand we'd feel sad and then I I know theywould be sad would you employ people tokind of maybe have that conversation ordo you think it's best left with thenext daysource like a counselor I thinkeveryone's unique and everybody or youknow because knowing that I use denialas a coping mechanism I'm not sure thatI would have been ready for certainfamily members to say to me okay tell mewhat's going on here and how you'refeeling it was actually safer for me tohave somebody outside of my circle andbecause I was in denialputting the smile on for everybody elseand you know and navigating through itdid help the other big thing I probablyreally do want to share at this point iswithin the Asian community we reallyneed to start talking about cancerbecause it is here it exists and we runaway from it and I know these only myhusband was diagnosed and actually youknow there's a lot of people in ourfamily still don't know that we bake hadit because we bore a smile or carried onand and you know I had the most amazingwig and so I had the most amazing hairevery single day and and so I just thinkyou know I even turned up at familyfunctions where people didn't know andpartly because we weren't able to dealwith their handling of it so in a wayI'm not saying everybody should know andeveryone deals with it differently but Iknew that if the more people be told themore you don't managing their emotionsabout the situation than having theenergy to focus on yourself and to dowhat's right to get you through it sothere's no right or wrong everyone hastheir own way of doing dealing with itbut I think acknowledging it as a familyif that person I shared it with you andtaking the time just to say you knowwhat can I do how can I help the procurething I remember typing a friend of minewho's whose friend had it I remembersaying to her she said what can I do andsaid take her sunshine I said you knowshe doesn't want to talk about so allthe time you know she actually justwants you to acknowledge her as her shewants you toyou know she can still talk about theweather she can tell you what shewatched on telly last nightcancer is all-encompassing and sometimesyou just want to break from it and youtalk about other things and you want totalk about things that you talked beforeand the one thing I know I craved wasnormality I was so desperate to go backto the life I had before cancerPeyman and and you know I can like youknow I'm so full that I can go back toyou know typically the life was likebefore now because you know within amuch better place and I know that's notthe case for everybody but know thatwhen you're on the journey the one thingyou're craving is normality that'sreally powerful thank you for sharingthat I think that's that's a great pointand the like you said the Asiancommunities everything seems to be ataboo in the Asian community whetherit's cancer whether it's mental healthit's kind of everything is just brushedentirely under the carpet which is ashame but I'm just I just want to goback to my initial point I really wantto do just highlight you said earlier inthe podcast that I this unwelcomevisitor cancer and you'll be known forcancer in your eyes and I just want youto know and I sincerely mean this isthat I think you're an amazing soul andyou'll be remembered for a lot more thanthat you'll be remembered from this veryshort interaction with yourself now yourinspiring is half out your kindness andyour endearing nature and I think allthe good things that cancer has broughtout of you because I believe it wasalways within you to help other peopleis truly amazing and you know I wouldnever just see you as that and that'sfrom our very short conversation so Ijust wanted you to know that I'll blessyou I was I was gonna say that you knowI really want people to know thatthere's joy joy runs through my core sono matter what I kind of think pleasefind the joy in the simple things andthe big things in through everything Ijust think you know just live a lifethat is just full of that kindness loveand joy so I just think and that iswhere I do walk my talk in terms of youknow making sure that I do find a waythrough and you go I know you go what'syour biggest fear in this moment today Ithink it is you knowing about what thecancer hasI do I still fear of it returning aferret returning my husband for me foryou know other members of my familybecause you know you just think althoughI've learned in lessons and I stillsometimes think like okay if it did whatwould I do but then I just I dosometimes just stop myself and going XI'm like okay like I said earlier bit meof being a bit of a hypocrite you can Ican only influence today that's a day asfar as I'm aware I don't have it and soactually that make the most of today soI think there's always going to be thatunderlying fear once it's been there inyour life you know but then I supposethat's maybe why I'm on over tribe ofcramming as much wonderfulness into as Ipossibly can and so and I know I've gotthe strength to deal with it inwhichever guys it does if it does so Ithink sometimes I just take myself towhat is that fear acknowledge it thinkabout how I'd handle it and then put itto bed so don't let it kind of likeovertake and so I think yeah I thinkit's it's still there in the backgroundlurking that's fine that's fine and Isuppose that's probably you don't reallyneed anything to keep you motivatedI suppose in life because a lot of lotof people I come in contact with on adaily basis we're all trying to motivateourselves to make the most of life andyou just said a beautiful word there I'mnot even sure if it's a word but it justsounds beautiful wonderfulness and Ithink if we can all make the most of ourdays and they're over driving that youuse in I think I think it's so importantI try to do that as well as ie 100percent think sleep is important but Ithink once you have enough sleep thenstop hitting that snooze button reallytry and make if you if you want to dosomething in life go out there and do itif you want to connect with someone goand connect with them if you want totell someone you love them then go andtell them because your stories areliving proof of this you can't takenothing for granted in this world no toomany of us do spend a you know lifetaking a lot for granted absolutely andpeople supplanted and I just thinkthere's something about the magic in thepeople around us andwhat they bring you and and to sharethat with them and select them nobecause we can't take anything forgrantedabsolutely and I think I mean I'm notgoing to sit here and say I take I don'ttake things for granted because I I Dbut what I've done is and it's just alittle tip for somebody who's probablynot gone through the harsh circumstancesthat you have is to really try and havetriggers in your day so for me I have mywallpaper on my phone I have a photo ofme and my wife have a photo of my familyand I have all these little triggerswhere if I ever kind of revert back tomy old habits it will snap me straightout of place and think I don't fix upoverdrive because because this fault wasthere where people are missing as far asthere were people are ill and it's justit makes you think completelydifferently and I just you don't wantyou don't want people to go through thatlife or have those experiences but Ithink sometimes like you said when youstruggle or you go through adversity ifanything it becomes I suppose I can giftinto curses and it you get the case butthen you get a gift from it as well atthe other side I was gonna say when youget the suffering and I you know there'ssomething in that suffering butsuffering is also teaching you so muchif you allow it and if you don't fightit Sam and I just think there'ssomething in the pain part and that doesthen bring the gift when you're ready tosee it okay we are gonna shift gears nowactually we're gonna start smiling nowand what we're gonna do is this isactually the fun part of the show whereI literally put my guests through just60 seconds of the most random questionsyou've probably heard this week sothere's no right or wrong answer justtry and obviously with your face thoughtprocess and we're gonna start in 3 2 1okay what did you eat for breakfast Ohpeanut butter on taste the ability tofly or be invisible fly when your fameI think Fame for this message yourbiggest achievement to date survivingcancer your favorite foodoh my mum's lamb curry Netflix ourYouTube each aid your number one goalthis year Ohto to thrive everyday but I reallywant to raise the game on how peoplelive their lives more fully and so tohelp people understand how much theymatter would you rather not how you adied or when you were dyingwhen love or money love books or moviesbooks if you could sit with one personin the world for an hour who would it beMaya Angela what is your biggestaddiction oh gosh don't know but I'maddicted to anything really other thanthis constant need to better myself wereto learn more and it's all more that's abrilliant addiction your favorite placein the world I have to say I took myselfoff on a holiday to Brazil and there wasa beautiful hammock on my on my littlebalcony I was on my own actually this isme testing myself and that hammock andthat v---aids on a beach in Brazil wasyeah one I'll never forget if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it be I suppose it's ignorance orpeople being unkind to each other lovethat and finally your favorite song everoh my god actually cherish I'm gonna getcherish cool in the gangI've heard that played live and isbeautiful brilliant okay fantastic sothe next question I always like to askmy guess is about reflection I believehindsight's a wonderful thing and uponreflection we can always think of waysto get to where we currently are quickereasier or with less heartache but at thesame time the journey teaches us so muchand it's a real belief of mine thateverything happens for a reason so whatI want to know is if you could go backin time to that one moment where youstruggled say as a younger vet Dannywell somewhere down the line andsuffered with adversity or an obstacleor anything in life maybe the first timeand you could whisper something in yourear knowing everything you know now whatwould it be and I think it would be thatI'd want to say it's okay you're exactlywhere you're meant to be right now youknow don't by to allow the lesson tocome feel the pain feel the feelings andjust trust that there's going to be somelesson that your learner is as a resultof this and you'll be a better person asa result of this so just trust andactually ask for help I'm really bad assnot asking for help and that's one thingI've learned is ask for helpmmm-hmm are you better at asking forhelp now I am and I know but I also knowwho who I know so I've got you know somespace it probably is more my friends nowand you know and some family members Ijust think I know what they won whatwhich ones will give me what I need loveit and if I can help in any way as wellI know you having a podcast soon or anyanything in relation to thrive sixteensix five or even personally please dolet me know thank you you're verywelcomesadly we're actually at the lastquestion now and the last question Ialways ask is if in 150 years timescience fails to save us all and allthat's left is a book and this book isabout your life and it's abouteverything that you've done everythingyou've accomplished all your dreams andeverything what I want to know is whatthe summary at the back of the bookwould say and also what the title wouldbe okay and say I think it's gonna bethe summary in the back it's gonna readsomething along the lines of no matterwhat life threw at her she felt the painshe cried the tears and then she choseto rise and she took the lesson learnedsomething from it she found something tospark the joy you know she was the queenof finding the silver lining and I thinkthere's there's always gonna be fun inanything that I do and and I there's abeautiful Maya Angelou quotes and shejust says and still I rise and I thinkthat would be the title of the bookbecause I just think you know that lifeis tough but then so am I you are that'svery very powerful thank you for sharingthat and just before we close the show Ijust want the listeners to be able toreach out to you if that's okay I knowyou're busy and you're probably jugglingloads of things but I thinkit'd be worth people following themovement maybe maybe they can support aswell so I normally ask my guests toleave one place but I think because youdo such a wonderful thing and it's youknow it's gonna serve the communityyou're welcome to give as many pluginsas you as you wish okay lovely so thethe easiest one would be my Instagramaccount and that's thrive bet so that'sone LinkedIn please follow me onLinkedIn and please if you can introduceme to your to your businesses orsomebody that can just come in and holdthat space and allow you to thrive andthat would be amazing the other thingthat I really did want to mention withif anyone's heard of Simon Thompson whois a lady that had her Instagram accountis free in cancer and she's permanentlygoing through a stage 4 lung cancerdiagnosis at a very young age so I thinkshe's just turned 30 and Simon has setup a Facebook page baam e for cancer andI think it is just about uniting theethnic communities so that we do starttalking about cancer and we you know weopen the debate we have the debate andwe start sharing a lot more so it's justit's a supportive little community justto hold that space for each other as wenavigate through and yeah and pleasefollow primer as well she's doing someamazing work that's fantastic and what Iwill do is I'll probably get those offyou so I can put them all in the shownotes just sort of anything you know foranyone to reach out to you and also tothat Facebook page as well because Ithink that's a really really importantthing I want to once again thankeveryone for listening and moreimportantly I really want to thank youfor your bravery and your openness toshare your story and inspire many peopleand thanks for taking time out of yourday and there's always people thanks forlistening well my pleasure and thanksand remember this podcast is atwe free so all we ask in return is foryou to share this with a friend and dropus a five star review over on iTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Title: Sexuality, happiness and being true to yourself #13Tagline “I dont want it to define me. I don’t think anyone should let it define them in life. I don’t want it to be oh yeah Nick Hall who’s gay” ...Nick Hall, is a successful individual who has had a very colourful career which has seen him start and sell businesses whilst finding his own true happiness.Overcoming and understanding himself growing up, Nick talks about his sexuality and how he embraced that and found true happiness in his life.A fascinating individual, who sees the world in a unique and great way! A keen eye for property too, Nick has also made his own homes under the hammer renovations along with helping me personally in my own property ventures.Follow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://instagram.com/nickhall__?utm_source=ig_profile_share&igshid=1uht7lflaoyc9#FindYourVoice & #JustDeuItApple podcast app:https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/find-your-voice/id1448344412?mt=2Stitcher:https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/aren-deu/find-your-voiceSpotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/3EYhA7LvSu8vi3sTL07GGs[Music] welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren do a guy who has overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself mr. Aren do the host of this show so I am extremely excited to bring my guest onto the show today because it's somebody who's going to be sharing a very very sensitive subject and it's a subject that's going to relate to many people out there whether you're experiencing it yourself or whether it's one of your friends or family now the beautiful thing is not just the story and the person behind the story who is a fascinating character and doing incredible things in the world and really kind of found his own voice I suppose it's how actually met him now I am a firm believer in trying to find positives in every situation that you're in because it's so easy to often exaggerate the problems and the obstacles that were going through and I'd say in my career as a property investor my probably most stressful 2 or 3 months was when I met this individual and the only silver lining I had within those two or three months was my relationship with this individual now Nick managed to help me sell my nightmare house and he did it with brilliant customer service to the point that we actually built a rapport and Nick reached out recently and we kind of had conversations back and forth and I just thought his story is fantastic it's also different to any of the other stories that we've had on this show so hopefully you guys resonate with it I am confident you're gonna find he's honesty and he's courage commendable so I'm gonna leave it there and we're gonna jump straight into this episode I find your voice okay so I'd just like to welcome Nick to the show today so thank you Nick for coming on and sharing your story how are you doing today I'm great thanks for having me Irene it's an absolute honor to echo and support you with this you're very welcome thank you as well so I think it's important before we start to obviously give the listeners a little bit of insight in relation to who dig hole is so if you wouldn't mind if you could just kind of give the listeners and myself actually a little bit about yourself how you progress through life and kind of ended up where you are today yeah of course so when terms of who I am what I do so background I suppose starting from sort of where I grew up so I've grown up in sort of a relatively middle-class environment in a in a village so to say on the edge of stoke-on-trent so just into the stuffs Moreland's m and most recently I'm working in telecoms that are do some bits of business on the side so I'll go back and talk to you about what I've done in detail to get me from there to where I am today so the sort of environment that I grew up in I would say is very traditional so here you you standard Church of England school the lads play football and the girls play netball and I I didn't do either of those so I didn't fit in but I didn't conform to their to the norm so to say and then after school and I came out with relatively I would say a ver Ajay mean I passed all my subjects at GCSE level grade C or above progressed onto to college straight after school and then absolutely hated it again just didn't feel like I fitted in so I took a year out and when it did some hard work for you and worked in a supermarket and quit and then produce Department lumbering sacks of potatoes around and I actually talking about the value of the pound yeah actually worked with money in the real world so quite quickly realized that I wanted to go to education and from there went in study Business Studies a level and then went on to university em that didn't actually move away when I went to university state local at staffs probably didn't have the confidence to to go and live outside of the area and then after University I got offered I did the Graduate scheme and I was still working for Maury supermarkets at the time I did their grad scheme and got offered a role at their HQ in Bradford and didn't go for it cuz he didn't pay enough money basically and then I got offered a job locally working for phones4u which is owned by their John Caldwell though I'm sure everyone in business net was a billionaire now went into work for this organization and there was something just magical about the culture I went in as a trainee salesperson and they they taught me everything I know about sales and I've sort of progressed through telecoms in the sales environment done various roles sales management head of sales got extremely stressed doing the head of sales were all under 30 and decided that I wanted to take a bit of a step back and then I'm now working in one of the biggest telecom providers in the UK and I'm doing a less less senior role buddy it sort of gives me the flexibility to do stuff outside I could work as well and I suppose that's coming on to what I also do as well and outside of work I'm I'm really passionate about property stems from probably the first house that I bought where the position that I was in was the idea I was forced it didn't have the money to to buy a decent property so out to buy something that was rundown and they've got the Bob bug for sort of development renovation from their doing I've done various properties now to the point where I am where am I live in and in a in a relatively decent house they want a big probably doing about 5 refurbishments and renovations that have enabled me to live in the property that I live in now on a bill up a nice little equity part as well last year for the last year or two I had an estate agents business as well I started up on the side and the aim with that was to to hopefully get out of than the nine-to-five job that I'm doing and again learned a massive lesson from that because I realized how hard you actually have to work to where to win in your own business absolutely yeah and to be honest it wasn't easy and it wasn't going to be easy and I wasn't gonna become a millionaire any time soon or even overnight or any time in the next few years from that so I had an opportunity to sell the business which it did do at the end of last year and have come become career focused again this year I'm not going to say it's gonna be a real long term strategy but I've just taken on a new role that gives me something to really get my teeth into and then the property thing they'll always bubble along the side and personal that's interesting because then it was actually property where where you and I actually met and I could tell your sales experience obviously came in because you were able to sell what I consider my nightmare house which I couldn't get rid of and and you sold it pretty quickly because mate that has caused me more stress than anything and in relation to your renovations as well for anyone that's on Facebook I've seen some of your your renovations your kitchens especially and then they look absolutely fab so you've obviously got a knack for it there something I wish I had when I first started renovating myself and I just want to touch on something so you said you always kind of never thought you could be fitted in and you mentioned the whole zero typical boys play football the girls play netball and then later on you touch the game that you didn't have the confidence to perhaps maybe move out of your university is there a particular reason in relation to that or was it just like anxiety I mean what was what was that feeling where you're saying you didn't feel you fitted in because I'm pretty sure there's people listening to this now you might have had that same situation yeah I mean looking back now I was because I'm gay and I obviously always knew that there was something different about me but I wasn't him experienced mature I suppose they're the best way he's supportive and I wasn't experienced or mature enough to understand what that meant for me so I always do that I mean don't get me wrong I don't have not gone through life being an outcast or anything like what I have those environments always just sort of felt like I didn't feel like a hundred percent you know why okay just felt different I supposed yeah mmm okay that's interesting I mean if you wouldn't mind if I just asked a little bit about that yeah cause I'm certain there's thousands of people out there who probably won't be the same situation when you're thinking why am i feeling different to perhaps what people would consider the general consensus what advice would you give to somebody like that I mean was it something that you were able to kind of come out with straight away or is it something that you kind of held in there I think you are and don't get me wrong I do even in from our generation to today I do believe times have changed a little bit but there's always a stereotype of which you are forced to live by or expected to live by I won't say forced I'll say expected to live by yeah and I think that mentality comes to the front even more sevens in sort of small village environment something in the area that I grew up in it was a case of as I said the boys play football the girls play netball and this kind of if you didn't do either you a bit weird you are or you're not conforming to the norm so I think if I'm if there's anybody who's in that position and you feel like you don't fit in it's a bit cliche but don't be afraid to be different because some people are born to stand out and you need to sort of you need to recognize that and stand up to it and do the things that give you the confidence to do that I love that I think I think you just hit great note there don't be afraid to be different because even for myself from my experience you grow up always trying to fit in it's kind of like because you want to be part of the maybe the popular gang were just where it's safe I suppose because nobody wants to get bullied everyone wants to have relationships yeah I find myself now as an adult trying almost not to fit in in terms of bringing my own authenticity to the marketplace to my branding and everything else so it's just funny how the world works and I think I'm not sure if you I can you mentioned like at that age your intelligence as a child and stuff is probably different when you grow up and you realize what's actually important here and the most important thing for me and I'm sure you probably agree to some extent is how we view ourselves I think that's the most important thing yeah 100% and that age you don't want to be picked out of the crowd and at the point that we a minute live in life now it's almost that we don't necessarily want to stand out but I feel myself that it's good to be different and to have your own personal brand and to be true to yourself who you are then that that gives you a sense of fulfillment I suppose is the best way to put it I think I think you're right maybe it gives you authentically as well in the world where everyone's trying to but this persona of who they are or the day that they live in somebody who's just refreshingly themselves every single day whether it's good bad or whatever it is I just find that I just find that nice and I think the world would benefit more from people just not trying to put a mask on because I don't know about you but I find it hard enough just trying to manage my own life rather than trying to be somebody else for the public it's it's just an energy drain so no I appreciate that can I just ask one more question on that if you wouldn't mind yeah yeah so you've come from a small village now I'm using my stereotypical background as well so I'm I'm Indian and we come from a community where everyone knows everyone's business so when you do something that it doesn't gold with the norm so for example if I use myself I got married out of religion now I'm not a religious person and anyone that knows me knows I don't really follow religion so when I did that it was it was a massive massive thing again it was difficult I had sleepless nights before and again it was more about what are people going to think and what is going to bring to my family did you ever experience any sort of controversy or adversity in relation to you perhaps coming out or was your family and your community very supportive of yourself yeah I think the worst part by far is the fear of coming out than the actual coming out itself yeah because for me I didn't really have to come out I didn't have to stand on a platform and announce it and I didn't feel that that was the right way for me to do it anyway that just it that didn't happen for me it happened naturally okay I came to a point in my life where I was comfortable 100% comfortable with who I am and I had the confidence to be myself and what that meant was it some people knew to be honest and and some people didn't know I lost friends over it people just stopped talking to me I think and it genuinely sat here today it doesn't hurt me one bit because I know that it was just meant to be yeah absolutely and again I just want to implore anyone who is listening who may be going through a situation whether it is about this sexuality or whether it is about anything else whether you consider yourself different to really kind of I suppose Jesus said than done as an adult but really try and overcome that fear because you touched on something that the fear of it is actually worse than the actual experience itself and I've had to overcome and do things that I've always been afraid of prior to the actual decision and a bit like what you just said there's as soon as you make that decision it's actually not as bad as you'd initially thought so I would always tell people if they can you know maybe adopt a mount robbins approach which is kind of like she counts backwards from five four three two one and then all of a sudden beam whatever's in that she wants to say she says it I think life's too short for us to kind of live in fear of judgment and other things I'm not sure if you agree with that 100% and I think the in terms of the people out there who might be feeling like I genuinely would be happy to speak to anyone who who feels that they're in that situation and and talked to them about my experience in more detail if it helps them sort of progress towards where they want to be I'll be more than happy to do that that's fantastic I'm sure they'll appreciate that and obviously at the end of the show we'll put all your show notes and how they can contact you so prepare yourself mate hopefully if the episode goes well you're gonna get an influence of the direct messages but no I think somebody who's been through something that they'll just be able to give so much better advice rather than just picking up a book or reading a post online so thank you for your handout yeah and it is difficult because if you're in a position where you are afraid of of admitting something to the outside world then some people will challenge you on it sometimes and they will offer to talk to you about it you've got to be ready to talk yourself so if ever if ever somebody needs that yeah then I'd be more than happy to do that thank you thank you Nick brilliant okay so I want to just switch the conversation just ever so slightly in relation to your work and stuff so you've you've mastered homes under the hammer a lot better than I have and you've got yourself some sales experience you're now in the new role which you're thriving off I'm just curious to know and I'm always fascinated by people who are doing different things or people who I consider successful and I've considered success as a sort of you doing what you want to do for yourself and it's basically you're making your own decisions in terms of moving forward and progressing on a daily basis so if you could just kind of give us a day in the life of Nicole from say for instance the moment you wake up if you've got any particular habits or traits that you think maybe could help other people if they wanted to kind of replicate your success up until now yeah I mean I definitely don't consider myself hugely successful and it's an honour for you to even put me in that bracket just quite normal to be honest okay but I mean I'm definitely an early riser I'm somebody who likes to get up early I love to see the Sun Rise morning and not so much in the summer when it's really rising it hot this time of year when the sun's rising and just before 7:00 a.m. it's nice to just get up and go and sit in my kitchen and I've got some great views and we catch the Sun eise's and just sit and have a cup of coffee and just reflect at that time in the morning and whether it be just catching up on the news doing some banking at any sort of admin that's gonna give me a great spot today I really do enjoy sort of having that foundation to the day to be honest after that point I feel like I should be exercising and I'm moved house last August and I've moved probably about 20 miles away from where you used to live and I'm in a village which is pretty much in the middle of nowhere right the nearest gym is 14 miles away so I'm struggling to find that motivation to exercise at the moment because I'm not near a gym I never can actually go out and go and walk and run and things like Apple with the with the winter as it's been not the opportunity to do that so a key thing for me that I want to focus on in this year it is exercise and fitting that back into my routine because that would be great to do that at that point and then in terms of moving on from there I mean I generally just would move into what is a pretty normal working day to my day is made up of meetings pretty much all over the UK because to work for a multinational business and I might be working from home or I could be in Edinburgh or London so I can have a day that starts at 5:00 a.m. oh I've got to go and catch a flight or train or I can have a nice relaxed day where I'm getting offered sort of the time that I said and then sitting in just a night or five from the kitchen table if it is that I'm not actually working then ideally for me every traveling okay a lot of miles and the continent in the turbulent yeah yeah yeah job yeah do you listen to any audio balls or podcasts or anything like that always it just literally music on the road I'm a visual person so for me I rather than I mean I've I've always tried to read and I just find it so difficult to put my not put my time to sit and absorb a book so I'm visual so for me I'm a documentary sort of person okay I've watched probably every documentary going on Netflix on every topic possible so I would if there's something that I'm interested in I find it far easier to watch a documentary on it rather than to read a book on it okay that's interesting I can't read myself to be honest I use audio book for everything similar to yourself ie well I used to be on the road a lot so for me it was kind of an opportunity I supposed to kind of kill two birds with one stone I'd always listen to audiobooks I do need to get on the Netflix documentaries I heard there's some fascinating ones but I just wanna quickly touch on something there so you've got some traits there so the whole reflection and the early rising that's quite common amongst people who are trying to do more in life there is one thing I want to do a little shameless plug on is the exercise bit so I'm a massive massive advocate that we should always prioritize our health before everything and when I say how if I don't just mean your physical house I mean your mental health as well but yeah you've said something there and this is just my advice as a friend is the gym is far away well mate if you go on my youtube channel I have some videos which will tell you how to work out from the comfort of your own home so I want to see you doing those I'm gonna see you in star jumps in your next post yeah and as I said make that a hundred percent is a target of mine for 2019 and the mean talking about mindset as well I find setting personal towards a great way to motivate myself I mean when I set up the business that said at the beginning the year target for me this years to set up a business alongside work and estate agents evolved from and then this this is my target for this year to get back to fitness again fantastic just in relation to the business one have you ever set up a business before or is that you you set yourself a target and a boom you just went out and figured it out yes and literally do the estate agent are set up from scratch I just came up with the concept the Brandon sat down with a graphic designer who bought it all to lie for me but I came up with a concept that was completely unique and then you in the UK no other estate agent in the country was doing it and that was for the client to be able to choose the estate agent board that sits outside the property the color of it yeah and and that was extremely successful and it was a huge USP for the business and in a market that is so saturated yeah exactly saturated it was a USP and something that stood me above the competition it was something that had started online started out the spare bedroom at my old property and and grew it to a position that it was a business that could be sold on that's fascinating to me because you're you'll meet many people and if people just sit here today and think about the times in the last seven days but somebody's told them about a business idea or they want to do this or they want to become this and then actually see whether they go and follow that through it's very very slim that those people do it so for me obviously business my staff now I find it very very difficult there's a lot there's a lot of cogs to it and I think you touched on it earlier that in terms of making the same money that you're making you notified there's a hell of a lot more hard work involved so for you to be able to do that on this side one it kind of I always think if people have got an excuse they haven't because if they listen to you now you know you're working full-time and you set yourself up a successful business which I just find that really inspiring and would you have any tips for anyone is it just literally google it because I would say google it everything's on Google get out there Network speak to people is that kind of your best approach yeah a hundred percent I mean definitely I agree that everything's on Google now you've just gotta go out I mean for me there was something inside me telling me that I needed to do to do something to fulfill me over and above what I was getting from my nine till five at the time so I I am quite a visual person as I've said so I sat and you my maps I was like what are the potential ideas for a business that the it could give me what I want so I came up with the sort of events business came up with the estate agents I came up with a recruitment business and everything just brought me back to a state agency because of the passion that I've got on the side property property so from there I just I went and so what I wanted to do is understand what do you need to do to set up a successful estate agent so the first thing is I needed to get qualified as an estate agent so I had to go and do the qualifications alongside work set myself up as a director of a limited company and and just brought to life the the concept that had come up with him surround yourself with a successful team and for me that was having a really good graphic designer bring all the concepts to life and then the subcontractors who work for the business as well so I was pride in myself on photography particularly so I went out and I found I found the best photographer in the local area had to pay more to do that but when there was a buzz created about the business the photography was one of the things that people were talking about fantastic that's brilliant I think there's a blueprint they obviously for people who may have something inside them which makes them want to maybe go out there and do a business and you just touched on a point which is something that I always tell everyone is surround yourself with a successful team because you can't do anything alone in this world especially if you're trying to get rid of your 9 to 5 so I always try and do that I always try and I know it's a cliche but I was try and surround myself with people who are cleverer than me you have done more than me because that way it kind of forces me to grow it keeps me accountable as well and at the same time I'm learning as opposed to you kind of be in the cleverest in the room a hundred percent and the thing the thing is it massively surround yourself by people who motivate you to better the position that you're in and just just one point on what you were saying about the successful team is having the ability or the experience to to recognize that team and to be able to select the team as well because it's easy to go out there and for example get a photographer but without understanding their background in their experience and where they've been successful it's difficult to know whether to bring them into your team or not I think trades people is a perfect example and what we experienced with you on the property that I was like yeah there's so many Cowboys out there and so many people who are not performing as they should do I think I think they're all just kind of playing the small game and so for me it's if I was a tradesman and this is just my trail of thought is if I'm gonna work with someone if worst case scenario that the projects going a little bit tits up which they sometimes do and it could be of through no fault of anybody's I would still try and continue to over-deliver because then you've got more chance of repeat business and what I tend to see is people will happily exploit people for a quick dollar that that month or that week just to kind of maybe pay for their bills and so they can go drinking on the weekend and then all of a sudden somebody's losing out there whether it's repeat business or whether it's the customer or something and yeah and that reputation so building a reputation again is another key element of it because if you go out and and you rip someone off on day one you're never gonna get to day 100 absolutely great just like that not actually just be from a shift gears a little bit I have finally managed to find a good build and a good trades team and I'm actually what I've actually done is similar to you don't let go of him may I haven't so what I did is I set up a business and I became business partners with him because I was like listen I need to keep you here one because I trust you in your works fantastic you can do this side of it what I do is I use my whole branding and my project management experience to kind of get the clients in so we kind of work hand in hand but mate I've had to get so many bad frogs but yeah I'm not gonna let go now and in property that that's the perfect mix it's great for somebody like yourself who's got a huge amount of experience and in marketing to partner up with somebody who's got the skills in the experience on the technical side of it absolutely together you've created that perfect team absolutely I'm grateful now for where I'm I suppose I'm so grateful for all the lessons because if I hadn't have gone through what I did I wouldn't be where I am today at the same time I wouldn't even be speaking to yourself so you know everything happens for a reason I'm a firm believer of that exactly I mean if I hadn't done what I'd done on the side and you had done what you're doing we would never have cross paths absolutely made so I'm grateful for all my experiences it's obvious now then so you've had a very colorful life we lines ups and downs and you've done quite a bit actually a little bit like myself I always think I've managed to cram so much in so quickly so yeah you could tell us of a recent adversity that you've been through and then what's your approach when you're up against an obstacle how do you deal with it what lessons have you learned from it yes so in terms of adversity we've definitely already taught sunny during this conversation and and for me it is the fact that I'm gay and that was a huge point for me in my life and it's it's the most amount of adversity I've ever faced and I'll say that hands down and so it's never easy for me to talk about this but I genuinely believe that my life didn't start to come together until I admitted to myself who I really was and after that point I found the friends they were feel comfortable around and I found a partner I progressed financially and that for me was was the point in life so now I've got over that I don't feel as though there's any adversity or if I do come across adversity it just doesn't feel it doesn't feel like you've kind of been treated I suppose the biggest challenge of your life yeah quinta percent of me exchanged when I looked back because it's like looking back at a different pace and then it was some money I was trying to be someone who I wasn't at the end of the day and so I take responsibility for that but genuinely I think that society does play a part and that as well absolutely as I've said we're supposed to act in a certain way we're supposed to be a certain type of person and I was made to feel that being gay was wrong and it made me feel like of a person to be honest and it and that's what drove me to not want to be that person it's so sad isn't it how society and I think it is it is a society problem that we can discriminate or prejudiced against certain types of people or people who are different to ourselves and make them feel so bad because although you get groups and you get cliques and stuff nobody's really looking at the individual that you're segregating and what the effect is having to them and this is kind of something I learned in my um when I went back to study social workers and masters because my four of my siblings come from the care system I sin then be discriminated against in terms of they've come into our family we've tried to put them in extracurricular activities we tried to take it to football games and stuff and when one's got autism and then one's got learning difficulties and one is a displaying the level of intelligence that person should display at that age according to the school curriculum it's it's sad to see them just get put to the side or brushed off and it's it's something I don't think the solution for right now but I think if you can create more awareness just just for people just to have a bit of compassion I suppose for hope for people and just think listen everyone's trying to do the best that they can in whatever moment they're they're in and nobody wants to feel like an outcast normally wants to feel different we're all we've all got unique abilities within ourselves and we're all all got our own gift and I just wish the world could just be a bit more sympathetic towards each other to be honest 100 percent and I think talking about it is is awareness in itself and I mean that is something that I could carry with me and let affect me mentally I just don't I consider myself to be a strong person mentally and I just choose to not let it impact the rest of my life it's something that happened and it's something that will not affect me for the future and I think choose to make it a part of your strengths because what you what you're going to do even just by sharing the story which I'm very grateful for you doing you're gonna inspire and give other people the courage that listen it's okay it's okay in general I mean like Nick's doing fine now there's millions other people doing fine now and it's not as bad as you probably think it is at this at this point in time so yeah I mean I I don't want it to define me in life and I don't think anyone should let it define them in life I want my life to be defined by either a successful career or a successful business I don't want it to be oh yeah Nick Hall who's gay I want it to be he's a great businessman or a great person and I mean I would judge you it's just myself just under I'm the character in the person that you are similar to myself I I don't want to be judged as a particular thing it doesn't define you that's that's that's probably the right way of me yeah exactly thank you so you've obviously then overcame your biggest fear now and we've spoken about you coming out and realizing that you were gay and you you that's something now you're you're very comfortable with other than that what would be your next biggest fear and it could be anything it could be spiders it could be snakes for what else kind of scares you right now yeah something that genuinely scares me is not being financially secure later in life I think that our generation are in a strange position financially I mean our parents generally have or will retire on probably final salary pensions with a decent state pension at a relatively young age in terms of retirement to say young innovative compiz our generation we're going to need to work until were 70 we're going to have very very small pensions in comparison that worries me because I don't want to work until I'm 70 for a start and I don't want to live on a hundred pounds a week so it's something that scares me massively but I use it to motivate me because for me I want financial security because I want to enjoy my life effectively that's it yeah fair answer I think I think we all need to need to be mindful of what we're doing for the future which is one of the reasons actually that I got into property to create that kind of wealth in the future so everything I've done at least in my first few years a property was called wealth creation so I thought for a rainy day I've got a portfolio of properties that will keep me ticking over and now obviously now I'm trying to work on the whole cash flow element in order to kind of live the life that myself and my wife want to live so I think that's a good point and you actually just answered my next question I was gonna ask you which was about motivation and I'm always eager to see what keeps people more of a motivation for me it's kind of like I see it like a hit of caffeine I think you have some caffeine you're on a high for a bit and then all of a sudden you can use it so if we just alter that very slightly what kind of drives you maybe a little bit deeper like you what inspires you what makes you do the things that you do on the days but you don't feel like doing them I think weekends or a good example I mean it's easy to say what gets you out of bed from Monday to Friday it's a paycheck what gets me out of bed on a weekend for me at the moment what's getting me out of bed at the weekend is working on this property that I'm currently living in so I've got a list of jobs as long as my arm there if I don't get up on a Saturday morning and do them then they're not going to happen or I'm gonna have to pay trades people to come in and do them so I'm enjoying doing a bit of painting at weekends at the moment obviously the motivation and that is that that's going to invest in this property and eventually will increase its value so it's probably financially motivated that's fantastic yeah great answer mate okay so there we've heard it the buzzer has just gone off and we are now at the front part of this show and this is a part where I put Nick through his paces and I ask him as many random questions as I can fit in over the next 60 seconds so Nick are you ready I think so you'll be fine mate okay we're going to start in three two one what is your favorite documentary and at the moment the fire documentary that I've just what or Netflix about the fire festival whatever one what did you regret this I haven't eaten any breakfast yup the ability to fly it or be invisible fly definitely money or fame money your biggest achievement today living in the house that I live in after starting off and asleep on to internment 2touchpos your favorite food chorong net picture youtube in that place your number one goal this year to get fit again favorite TV show ever can I say film yeah but I'm gonna say film and one that I watched for the day lion would you rather know how you were died or where you were going when definitely love or money well books or movies movie you could sit with one person in the world for an hour who would it be Donald Trump what is this what is your biggest addiction sugar your favorite place in the world Vegas and finally if you could have polished one thing in the world what would it be terrorism fantastic how did you find that yeah good in relation to the fire one I just find that so fascinating the way the guy was the ultimate blogger the thing is though is he could very easily and pulled that off and he would you know that case that he is that's so true that's so true ok so we're almost at the end this show we just got a couple of more questions left my next one's on reflection and we all know hindsight's a wonderful thing it teaches us so many things ie how we can get to places quicker easier or less heartache at the same time I'm also a very very firm believer that the journey teaches us so much and I've got a real belief that everything happens for a reason so what I want to know is if you could go back in time to that one moment where you really struggled and suffered with adversity and just be able to whisper something in your ear knowing what you know now with all the lessons life has taught you what would you tell yourself we talked about quite a bit in during the show and that's the fact that I'm gaining obviously have been for a long time so it would be a case of me going back to the old me so today it just did some reassurance until we even almost give him a glimpse into the future that utterly no one cares probably do care but no one really gives a shit no one worthwhile kiss yeah mmm I love done mate thank you thanks for sharing that and suddenly we are now at the last question and the last question are always like to ask my guess is if in 150 years time science fails to save us all and all that is left is a book and that book is a book about Nick and it's about everything that Nick's done or the fascinating wonderful things I want to know is in this book what would firstly the title be and secondly what would be summary at the back tell us about yourself I suppose a great title would be how to be true to yourself and the blurb would be about discovering the things that make you happy in life and what makes you tick and and and living those in in your daily life okay good stuff so just before I close the show what I want to do is give you a chance to let the audience know where they can reach you or where they can contact you and obviously then that will give the audience a chance to really maybe connect with you whether it's in relation to property or you as a person or your business or sales or whatever is really and hopefully if they're resonate with it maybe you can potentially help them in some way so what's the best place is that people can find you I would say Instagram is the best place to get in touch with me because it's so interactive so my Instagram account is at Nick Hall underscore underscore but I'll let you put it on absolutely I'll put in the show notes as well yeah and Facebook LinkedIn any of those or hey I'm on LinkedIn as well welcome to connect with me that's more geared towards my 9 to 5 but of course welcome to get in touch with me on that okay and then Facebook and I keep pretty private to be honest so if not at the moment I've just got a family in front on that that's fine that's fine not a problem that's brilliant I just want to say once again Nick thank you so much for your time for you to share this story as well I'm sure it's gonna help many many people it's certainly given me more insight about yourself as well I mean we've known each other for a while now and are you a lot more so I just wanna say thank you to yourself and to the listeners at home thanks for listening yeah thanks for having me right and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 12 - How to achieve your dreams as a single parent #12Tagline: "Never give up and keep striving for what you deserve" Donna Marie PeggDonna is a single parent who has overcome depression. She is an entrepreneur, a property investor....oh and a police officer during her day job too!You see she could have every excuse under the sun, as to why she is unable to achieve financial freedom and live life in accordance to her dreams, YET she chooses not to.She chooses to make the best use of her time, eradicating her excuses and chasing what she truly desires.For anyone who may have suffered from break-ups, relationship problems and found themselves working 2 or 3 jobs with a child, I hope you can take inspiration from Donna's story as she is living breathing proof that with the right mindset and action anything is possible.I urge you to follow her story and journey further as this wonderful lady is going places!Follow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/compasspropertyinvestment/ (Property)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/keepsakesbymadefrommemories/ (Business)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/madefrommemoriesbears/ (Business)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/compasspropertyinvestment/ (Property)Website: www.madefrommemories.comEmail addresses:Madefrommemories@hotmail.co.ukCompasspropertyinvestment@hotmail.com#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so now Arenwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the showso today's guest is somebody I wouldconsider a rising star and by that Imean it's somebody who's really takenthe property world by storm in such ashort amount of time now for many of youthat know me I am actually a full timeproperty investor and it's kind of whatmade me I supposefinancially free to allow me to dopassion projects like today but thislady's not far off and I say watch thisspace because she's gonna be somebodywho you're gonna be either working withwatching or perhaps just taking hugeamounts of inspiration from now thereason I say that is because through ourinterview and through conversationsoffline I found out that this person wasalso working was also working on theside was also a single parent and had aside business as well so for anyone outthere who thinks they can't do it orthey don't have enough time or workstressful or their kids are playing upwell listen I don't want to hear itdon't hear your excuses and I'm sureDonna who's I guess today doesn't wantto hear them either so without furtherado let's get this interview on the wayhow are you doing today you're rightyeah I'm very well feeling very poisedup actually from good weekend fantasticfantastic okay so if you could kind ofexplain how you've progressed throughlife and ended up where you are now inyour journey okay I've done quite a lotin life actually a so I've done yeahthere's there's been quite a lot ofpeaks and troughs I'm surelike a lot of people so I had a verygood upbringing I was brought up withmoney so my dad is a business he wasvery business minded my mom was astay-at-home mom to three girls so I hadthat whole business influence from mydad and also the caring motherly rolequite a old-fashioned role reallybecause my dad went out to work and mymom stayed at home and looked after hisfull-time so it was nice to I think youknow that the importance of modeling andeverything and I had I had a very goodupbringing because you know like I saidI had the business aspect of my dad andthe drive and understanding theimportance of money which he was a bigbeliever in his understanding so weworked from a very young age I was 30when I had my first job yeah and I didto be honest I didn't need to workbecause we had a big house I had horseswe had land you know so I had an amazingstart in life but my dad came from avery humble background and was like it'simportant that you understand the valueof money and to go out to work so yeah Istarted work when I was thirteen and myown moneyand I've worked ever since maybe that'swhy I'm such a hard worker and and Iknow that unless you put the graftingyou don't get the result sort of thingso absolutely yeah so and and then Istayed on at school so I was veryacademic minded out of the three of us Iwas the one the clever one the samethere's always one I can relate to thatyeah yeah yeah cuz you're the brainy oneas well apparently but I probablydisagree now I think my little sisterstaken that always taken over now so yeahso I did I stayed at school did mya-levels I did a BTech National Diplomain art and design cuz that's the sort ofarea was going down and then I went toNewcastle and did a fashion marketingdegree for four years within that fouryears at did a three-year and the threeyearswere academic in university and then Idid a year within industry it wasclassed as a sandwich course so jewelryin that time I went and I design ladieshandbags for the high street yeah so Iused to that was my old rock my oldcareer I suppose I started designingladies handbags for the high street wentinto designing and then I had a bit of amoment in life are separated at a sixyear relationship with my first love aswell they were met when I was 17 andthat massively affected me like I endedup having depression and anxiety I meanI stayed in bed mom bless mom mom shehad to come and get me out of bedsometimes because it was just all forcoping with ityou know together six years and yeah hada bit of a I don't know maybe a bit of alife-changing moment and I was like thisgot you know there's got to be more tolife than lying in bed crying over anex-boyfriend so I ended up goingtravelling backpacking around Australiaon my own which was rather daunting hefinds herself in a country the otherside of the world on your own to kind offind yourself yeah but it was the mostamazing thing is the freest I've everfelt in my life you were in a countryyou could go wherever you wantedwhenever you wanted and you weren'trestricted by time or money or anythingand it was it was absolutely amazing andit I spent six months over there and Iactually were hosts I was over therestarted applying for jobs because Iwanted to do extreme sports where designthat was a passion of mine I've alwaysbeen into surfing and snowboarding andthat was a great passion of mine sobasically I went over to have kind of aholiday but I took again I think it'salways been about entrepreneurial yeah Itook a CD basically with my wholeportfolio that I generated at universityand a posted out or the major company soQuicksilver Rip Curl Billabong and thenI got contacted I was on Fraser Islanddoing a two-day trip a incredible placeand I had no internet because it wasjust in the middle of nowhere and I hada ping on my phone and it was avoicemail from Quicksilver saying theywanted to interview me and I was likewow like what an opportunity that wasfor designing designing extremesportswear so you know like all yearsnowboard any surf hoodies and all ofthat yeah that's what they do they're amassive brand if you're into you somekind of skate and surf wear so what anopportunity so I went to Turkey wherethey're based and I stayed there for aweek I went for an interview and theyoffered me a position as a juniordesigner fantastic but they they said tome we basically want you to be able todo all your CAD design so basically allthe things I drew they wanted me to beable to do it on a computer so I waslike you know for me to then get the jobbecause it was all Illustrator based andPhotoshop based so yeah I basically ranout of money anyway in Australia SCI hadto come home right yeah I'd doneeverything I've gone from the bottom ofAustralia like that's where the TwelveApostles are open book to Ken so I'ddone the whole of these coasts and so Icame home I did a CAD design coursepassed the course and then I had a momenagain another maybe life-changing momentwhat do I actually want out of life andthe thing is with the fashion industryalthough it's amazing and it's soinspiring the world of design it's verypretentious as well and I'm a very openbubbly person and always have been and Iwas surrounded by a lot of people and itwas all about money what you ownedrather than who you were as a personso maybe I went a little bit deep withall of that and was like what could I dothat would make a difference yeah andand then I saw Lester Constabulary wererecruiting for police officers yeah sothis was our 11 years ago 12 years 12years ago now so I went along with mymom to the event and it was amazing thefact that you could do so many differentroles within one job and I did all theapplication process and passed it gotreally high level all the written andthe mathematical but I didn't getthrough the interview I just didn't havewhat it was necessary to get theposition so I kind of gave up which wasvery unlike me because I definitely amand I'm a bit like if somebody says noto me mate it's me working honestly somy coach at the time the person whobasically was doing all the applicationprocess with us and making sure that weknew what we needed to do to get to theend goal which was to get the role as apolice officer she contacted me actuallyand said do not give up you were amazingreal I think you have what it takes andon that occasion you weren't successfulbut you were up against a lot of peoplewho were like PCSOsor special so they had more of a policeknowledge than I did because I had no nofriends in the police no family in thepolice I had no idea what was involvedso yeah I basically transferred myapplication to West Midlands Police andbecause I'd done everything the onlything I had to do for them was thedifferent fitness tests because theyhave a different fitness test - Lesterand a passed that and so yeah my 11 yearservice now with them oh wow I know Idon't even know how the time justso I did well at school I wanted to dowell in my career I wanted to be abusiness always had this dream being abusiness woman and because yeah I mean Ibecause I'd hit on it a little bit so wehad Hall she's growing up so when I was13 I was asked to ride for Great Britainyeah so at 13 I got scouted so that wassomething else I used to do as well onthe side of going to school yeah I amso yeah dude horse riding when I wasyounger and I got asked to ride forGreat Britain but I again had thisthought in my mind I want to be a careerwoman I had friends at school you knowand I was I did I thought if I do thatit's going to stop my development in thearea that I want to go in right so Inever I never did that and again I thinkthat's because of the person that I amlike I'm always striving for somethingso I did the university thing andobviously because of my university andthen are separated from my ex of sixyears I would then spend some time on myown I spent two and a half years on myown I think it was really reallyimportant to find you as a person ofcourse so yeah I did a bit ofsoul-searching I think during that timeand figuring out who I was and what Iwanted in life because I find in arelationship when you spend a long timetogether you just become a couple yeahrather than an individualyeah and I lost myself I didn't know whoI was anymore what I wanted so yeah Ithen spent some time on my own joinedthe police and then I met my most recentex who's my daughter's father and wewere together 10 years so yeah I didn'thave my daughter until I was nearly 30right okay okayso when my daughter was four months oldI then set a business orso I was still a police officer but Itook maternity leave for 30 months tobring her up and I set my business up sokeepsake company it's called made frommemories basically I make handmadekeepsake bears out of outgrown babyclothes that's a fantastic idea yeah yesso it's it's it's massively popular andI've got a massive following now so I'vebeen doing it for six years and I alsomake the some remembrance cushions outof granddad shirts you know from familymembers that have passed or teddy bearsout if I mean I get a lot of people likethey've lost their partner to cancerI've done bears made out of soldieruniforms because mum mums have losttheir son in war in Afghanistan so it'shonestly it's I love it I absolutelysentimental is what it is and they're soindividual because obviously they'remade from the clothes belong to thatperson that's lovelyaslam something else I've just learntfrom you as well oh oh like I said itwas always property and obviously we gotspeaking that was that hard in a secondthere's a fascinating story here and afascinating lady's doing all theseamazing things because we touched on itprior to starting this interview withthem I want people who may may be in asimilar situation to yourself I been asingle parent having all theseaspirations and businesses on the sideto believe in themselves a little bitmore that they can go out and do so muchmoreyeah I mean I don't know how you fit inthis in by the way I'm gonna ask youthat because we all only have 24 hoursin the day which is fascinating andmaybe it's it's probably something youtouched on earlier in your life whereyou saw your dad the modeling aspect andseeing how hard I suppose he were tocome from one more background to giveyou and I think you've got two siblingsyou mentioned I have two young youngersistersTrisha Harvey who's my mentor actuallyin property who's an amazing individualand she does real live coachingand he's just I think maybe I mean Iwent to MMI I don't know if you'refamiliar with MMR themmind intensive if it's all to do withthe P yes er Becca if you haven't doneit you should definitely go basicallythey cover your money blueprint and howyou think about money and how you'remodeling from a child has affected thedecisions that you make regarding moneythat's very interests and I went andyeah I went and did that for three daysand a think I had a very very positiveidea of money and I think that's becauseof my dad money was never negative likethey came out with comments like richpeople of greedy people you know likeall negative connotations towards moneyand because I'd had such a positivethought on wealth and money because mydad God apart from my dad saying youknow wait till you get older how hardyou have to work for money yeah he dideverything was very positive aroundmoney and business and working so yeahbabe maybe that's where it all started Ithink so because I think I have probablyheard more negative connotations towardsmoney growing up and I suppose evenmyself having come from humblebackgrounds you do hear those sayingsmonies of you a whole evil and richpeople are greedy rich yeah growing upand having to change my own mindsetwhich has been an absolute minefieldyeah you know through reading andaffirmations and stuff I think you don'tnecessarily need to love money but youneed to at least understand the benefitsthat it can give you so I think it'sfantastic that you had that from a youngage and obviously you'll be able to passthat message on to your little one aswellyeah well incredibly actually hitting onHolly she I've been away for three daysin London and my sister's real lifeproperty event and my mum had mydaughter so I came home on Sunday topick her up and we were talking aboutthe future and everything and my mumsaid my daughter said that she's hadenough of school alreadysix sheshe loved school all about Ithink cuz it's getting harder nowbecause she's getting old she said toher Nana no no I don't I don't want tobe at school anymoreand my mom said to her Hollywell you've you've still got primaryschool and high school to do you've gota long time still in education and sheturned around so my mommy she says butbut Nana I'm going to do what my mommydid yet she says mummys going to help mebuild a portfolio of properties of sothat I don't have to stay in school andthat I can be a businesswoman just likeher fix I know I was like that's amazingand then I sat down and I was explainingsummer mom about passive income and thefact that I'm wanting to build up aportfolio for Holly so that she's gotthe choice of what she does so whethershe wants to work or set her ownbusiness up or go traveling I said Iwanted to have the opportunity thatshe's got the money coming through soshe can decide where her future liesrather then you know life dictating toher where she's going to be absolutely Ithink you hit the nail on the head daysit's it's all about choices in it anddefinitely if you can provide it withthat and I suppose that's kind of whereI'm looking at as well so similar toyourself in terms of like children and Iwant to kind of set my business up firstwhen I do choose to have kids I wantthem at a very early age to had thatmindset that house just displayed thereyeah and to know that there are otherways where you can if you use money theright way especially through propertywhich you both understand give them thatmessage at an earlier age it's onlyhelped them well Erin you I mean fromwhat I've read of you and seen of you inyour YouTube videos and that you'veyou've had a very similar sort of statusme because you've done several differentthings and had to find where you wereand in fact you being a social workerand me being a police officer it's allabout giving back is a hundred percentabsolutely and and you touched on itearlier as always said like there's moreto life than money and stuff and thatwas kind of the reason I gave up projectmanagement and working for a greatLondon companybecause I was like there's gotta be moreto life and that's kind of where I wentinto the Social Work sidemy only problem was I just realized theimpact I suppose I wanted to have inSocial Work I was unable to give andthat's the same as the place becausewhat I I joined to make a difference butbecause of legality is and thegovernment and the the yeah therestrictions of court and everything Ialthough I want to make that impact Ican't make that impact because thisrestrictions stopping me I supposethat's probably the reason you thenchose to go through property yeswell property's always been one of theseI was one of these who sat for hourswatching and and I've always lovedproperty in the excitement of you knowhaving having a dirty stone and makingit into a diamond sort of thing yeah youknow buy and also again my mission is tomake affordable housing to a highquality standard and made every house ahome I mean my company compass inproperty investment is all about givingpeople the right direction and makingevery house a home whether it's for atemporary accommodation until they findtheir forever home whether it's theirfirst home that they're buying as acouple or whether I'm providing aforever home for them it's just givingthem that feeling of being at home Ithink I think I'm as a student and alsomy professional life I've rented and youknow these rooms in houses or you know asingle-layer if you you don't abide tolet just never feel at home and that'simportant to me in my portfolio is tocreate houses that feel like home Joelat home that's a lovely message and Ithink I think everyone wants that dawnthere really I mean I try and do thatwith my tenants as well ways I try andlet them use it as their home so if theywant to decorate they want to do stuffthat's absolutely fine by me because heis about creating that home because letyou said we know what it's likehave that feeling of coming home asopposed to just staying somewhere whereyou think this is just a temporarymeasure and I think it's important youknow with regards to keeping yourtenants as well because if you providesuch an amazing environment for themthey're safe and clean and tidy if theywant to stay there because it does feellike home absolutely yeah I mean I'vehad no change obvioustouchwood so fingers crossed it stayslike that but yeah I just love thatmessage behind what you're trying to doin property so I need to ask you nowbecause obviously we've touched on allthese amazing things you're doing I'msure you probably miss some stuff out aswell what's your what's your what's yourdaily routine like then so being asingle mother getting into property andI've seen some of your cracking dealsthat you've got lined up now working inthe police force as well you're intohealth and fitness which you haven'tmentioned but I know that from stalkingyour profile so what other things areyou doing and what what's the kind ofday in the life like for you oh my mydays are absolutely crazyI can imagine I'm not gonna lie it theyit is bedlam because I obviously splitwith my ex a couple of years ago so hehas my daughter a few days a week whichalso allows me to have some time to getthings done I only work part-time in thepolice now so I work Monday TuesdayWednesday every week and I then have mybusiness my keepsake business howeversince I went to MMI and looked at mybusiness and growing the business andcoming out of the business because theproblem with me at the moment is I'm ineverything and I've now now I've comedown this mindset journey and going intoproperty and with my mentoring andcoaching with Trisha I've now realizedthat I need to come now I've set thingsup and they're going really well andI've built up a massive client base Ineed to come out of it because my timeis precious and if I invest all my timein one thing I can't do anything else soI've actually recently taken on twoladies that I'm going to train up tomake my keepsakesthat's going to be basically handed overto them and then I will just manage itwhich is then going to free up some timeto do more on the property side whichI've just started but like you hit onAren of you know I've already got twodeals and they're big projects the likeeight bed HMOs that I'm also juggling inbetween and I'm sure you know the amountof viewings that you have to go on tofind these deals absolutely it'sinspiring to see what what you're doingbecause like I said I keep saying it butinitially I thought was just propertythen obviously getting to know you overthe last month or so I'm hearing howmany other things you're doing and ifanything it makes me feel quite lazy tobe honest because I'm like oh I haven'tgot a child to look after I haven't gotan occupation where I need to be thereMonday to wednesday so and yeah I knowhow difficult it is it's literally yougot to get used to the word know you'vegot to get used to rejections you wantto be on the ground 24/7 so it'sinspiring and hopefully inspires otherpeople is well out there who may yeahthink having being a single parent orhaving a part-time job or a full-timejob is a way to kind of excuse them fromnot aspire to there's no excuse there'syou are your own worst enemy the reasonyou don't succeed in life is because ofyourself and it's and I'm a greatbeliever in taking action if you don'ttake action you don't take risk nothingever changes and the thing is if Icarried on doing what I've always done Iwould just remain where I've always beenso exactly so what I've done is it isdifficult I'm not going to lie it's hardwork but I've done so much changerecently and so much on the mind setbecause mine's it's so important becauseto me if you're your heads not in thegame you're not in the gameyou know and it massively you need to betelling yourself every day reminding youyou can do it I mean every day I writedown my successes I do my five successesevery day I also write my goals down soit's important thatyou know what your goals are you knowyour your quarterly goals your yearlygoals your five yearly goals ten andyour 20 year Li goals because it givesyou something to aim towards I think Ihit on that earlier about how importantyour goals are to make you drive towardsthem and obviously looking you hit onearlier as well the affirmations anddeclarations it's it's all about youknow getting you and your mind in theright place and it's amazing how muchonly in a matter of a couple of monthsmy life has just gone upside down in agood way in a good way honestly thethings that are coming to me like theamount of investors that are contactingme for my projects because all myprojects are 100% investor led we do JVpartnership but I use zero of my ownmoney it's all investor money that paysfor my property is which and they get avery good return much better return thanthey would with the banks but as youknow Erin you do the same core samething so but it's so important becauseyou you know the these individuals arebuying into me it's not just about thedeal it's about me as a person and I'mvery positive but very brave and verymotivated I'm a very friendlyapproachable person which is veryimportant and I believe in myself oh yesI am a single mom yes I do own a busybusiness yes I do have a job and yes Ihave set a property business sort butI'm doing it it's so inspiring I meanI'm just taking notes here because Iwant to what I want to do from what youjust said days give single parents athome just a couple of tips there so thenumber one thing and this is somethingthat I've had to really really work onmyself in the last six months is believein yourself because irrespective of whatanyone else says whether it's your momwhether it's your partner your siblingsyou have to believe in yourself aboveall else and also if there's noif people around you you don'tnecessarily need to get rid of them butmaybe you've spent less time with themso if you're spending two hours a daywith those people maybe spend 20 minutesa day with them because the people thatare around you the the negativity that'saround you will only keep you where youare it will not move you forward I thinkthat's a great point because some peoplealways think how can I just get rid ofsomebody who's negative in my life yeahand we're not necessarily saying youneed to get rid of them what I do is Ikind of do this thing where I look atthem and I'll smile and nod but I'm notlistening to a word they're sayingif I know it's negative and at the sametime and that's mainly for people I knowI have to kind of be around but if it'ssomeone negative I do the same thing ortry and reduce your time with them youalso mentioned a very very good pointwhich is you write down your goals dailyyou do your lashes but I just want toquickly elaborate on something you saidthe five successes is that fivesuccesses that you want to achieve or isit five successes that you've doneperhaps the previous day no that day soit means every day yes at the end ofevery day I've got a success book just alittle book a notebook and I write theday and successes and I do five so itcan be as little as often it's theschool run I'm late on time and you knowwe get the thing the thing is we don'twe don't celebrate our small successeswe've achieved on a daily basis and it'sjust sometimes the little thingsespecially with people with depressionand I've been there just getting up andshowers and getting dressed for the dayis a massive achievement for somebodywith depression you know simply pickingthe phone up to ask for help when you'vegot depression that is a massive thingso it's little successes like I saidgetting to the school run on time goingand doing some viewings putting an offerin on a house networking with somebodyto possibly get another investor onboard for a project they're all littlesuccesses that believe you need tohighlight and and they they say aboutonce you write it down the mechanics ofyour brain work differently and ityou've you kind of take iteven better when she write it down sothat's what I do at the end of every dayI write down my five successes no matterhow big or small I love this so what youreferred to at the end I think it'scalled a reticular activation system isthat what it is yeah that's how you sayand it's kind of like these so an easyexample is if for instance you go outand you looking for a red car or you buya red car all of a sudden when you're onthe road you'll notice in that red careverywhere where it's prior to that youprobably didn't so I think if you cantune your brain in the right way thatyou're looking for opportunities you'reseeking better that better purpose orvision of your life you're going tostart attracting that sort of stuff andyou are just touched on somethingthey're really important about the smallwinsI suppose I'm guilty of this myselfbecause I will probably have a lot ofsmall ways in the day but I'm notgenerally in that probably the way Ishould so I'm literally written out herethat I'm gonna literally copy whatyou're doing there because I thinkthat's an amazing point to do I know thedepression stuff that you mentioned beshowering and little things like thathaven't haven't seen my mom strugglewith it for the best part of eight yearsI know that as a personal thing so it'sit's it's a fantastic point there andhopefully people listening to us couldtake that on board so it's not as easyas it sounds I suppose obviously we'dlike the Instagram success and we'relooking around on social media seeneveryone doing all these amazing things24/7 yeah but he's like you know Arenis do not ever compare yourself toanybody else that that is the worstthing that anybody can do you know focuson what you're doing where you'reheading what you're wanting from lifeand also you hit on yeah I'm a bigFitness nutrition that's one of thereasons actually Aren that I found youthrough your fitness journey to be fairbefore before the property journey and Imassively believe healthy body healthymind I have a very clean diet only inthe last four months have I started I doweightlifting and all of those peopleout there again single moms I don't goto the gym I do this from home but be inthe last couple of months I've lost astone and I'm only small anyway you knowI've always been slim but it's importantto methat you get every part of your life inbalance I think and and in your dietexercising you know they release so manydifferent chemicals that make you feelbetter about yourself so yeah it is hardwork trying to fit all of this inthought you know it makes such anincredible difference it does just haveto do itoops I agree I think it's it's justsmall wins no habits rather than lookingat the big picture I think thecomparison thing is a massive point butit's again it's easier said than done Ithink once you find yourself looking atstuff constantlyI would just news it I would just stopusing that up and just really try andfind yourself which is something thatyou mentioned before great stuff and sothe next thing I want to know is aboutadversity so you're very bubbly you'redoing amazing things and I'm sure likelike many of our listeners you've hadyour fair share of adversity as wellcould you if you wouldn't mind explain atime where you've perhaps been throughadversity maybe something recent Isuppose in your journey whether it's adeal falling through or somethingsomething significant that you thinkthat could normally break somebody willgive somebody the opportunity to presentthemselves with an excuse I mean we allhave struggles in life I mean only redlight it's it's quite recent only twoyears ago now like I said I split withmy ex and it's it's been difficult youknow I'm not I'm not gonna lie becomingbecoming a single mom knowing that hadmy business work you know all the otherday-to-day role the role of a mother tocontend with and juggle with it's beendifficult I I took the decision to endthat relationship which again was amassive you know because I my decisionwas going to affect three people notjust myself however I'm i sat one daywas like I feel lonely and I feelnegative and I feel unhappy and I'm in arelationship and that isn't what itslife's about you should be in arelationship you should feel adored youshould feel that that person bringsthe best of you brings out the bestversion of you and that they add to yourlife so that was a massive thing for meto do was to end a relationshipespecially when we had a young childtogether and almost stop being selfishbecause I had to think about the biggerpicture the future and obviously theposition of you know how it was going toaffect my daughter I suppose so yeah Imean I could have easily have just saidlook let's just carry on you know let'sjust make it work let's work harder atit but I had to make that decision tolike we've got to the end of the roadand it's it's not it's not making me anybetter it's not making him any betterand it certainly isn't going to make ourdaughter any better so I'd say that's amassive achievement in itself to makeand realize that you needed to makechanges Wow I think you just heard thereit is an achievement I think thinkingabout the bigger picture in that in thatscenario because I see spar - oftenpeople who are just unhappy in life yeahbeing unhappy you have to accept thatit's a choice and you've sat there andyou thought actually I need to make adecision here to change this and for thebetter and it seems like it's going forthe better I hope obviously the otherparty is fine as well and obviously yourdaughter's in it in a good place as wellso we've got a very amicablerelationship he's a great guy he's anamazing dad so and I could never takethat away from him but together I meanas a family unit we works but togetheras a relationship we didn't and and it'simportant for for everybody out theredon't be scared like I say so many timestwo friends of mine who are in happyrelationships but it's all about themoney and it's all about the securityand you know they're scared but I'd handon heart say it's not as hard as youthink it's going to be it really is andI suppose I'm guilty of it myselfbecause sometimes when you have to makea decision and if you know it's going tohurt one of the other parties I reallyreally struggle with that and it's onlyrecentI just kind of do like a five-fourthree-two-onea kind of a Mel Roberts approach whereI'm like okay five four three two oneand I'll just send that message out orI'll give him the cord yeah say themessage and like you said it's not ashard as you think and in hindsight Imean after a day or two you everything'snormally a lot better than probably thescenario you're telling yourself in yourhead exactly so what's your biggest fearthen my biggest fear I think he cycleokapi who is failure and doing somethingand not succeeding I've been veryfortunate the decisions that I've madein life of always I've always succeededover succeeded and everything that I'vedone even little jobs I've hadreception jobs at dental practices andthe the head dentist there is thenoffered to give me a position and as adental nurse I worked in adopts ofsurgery as a receptionist and got askedif I wanted to train as the practicemanager so people honestly people ofalways whatever position I've ever donein my life they've always seen somethingin me to go further than where I amhowever you always still have your ownfears and your own doubts about whetheryou can achieve what other people cansee in you so yeah I think that's one ofmy fit my just fear of failure and fearof not you know I suppose like Petepeople think that I'm going to be herelike a certain level and I'm like oh mygod am i you know am I gonna let yeah amI gonna let everybody downand I'm not gonna reach even theirexpectations of meyeah that's a massive fear of mesometimes and what what if so forinstance you did fail so say for is thisyour next venture in property it didn'tgo the way that you wanted it to goI mean I've struggled to believe thatyou would let that knock you down no Ibloody wasn't you know it's one of thosethings that you know what at thatparticular time that deal wasn't rightand it didn't work and you know there'smassive learningin it I mean already with my firstproject things are coming up that I'mhaving to get over I'm learning so muchalready because this property that I'mworking currently on is in aconservation area and I did realize thatthe loft extension in its been done andit's not got planning permission andthere's permitted development forcertain things so loft extensions areunder committed development but in aconservation area you basically can'teven move a treeyou can't cut hedges down you can'tchange windows you can't do anythingwithout planning permission so it's likelittle things like that but I'm learningbecause I'm now working with planningI'm now working with HMO offices youknow contacting I've got a tree that islike push the roots are pushing into theproperty so I'm having to get a surveydone but it's like now I'm in touch withthe councilI've spoken to tree surgeons and all ofthat just ask the mom database my youknow everything that I'm learning alongthe way and next time if things aren'tthat come up he's scary thought becauseI've dealt with it all really yeahabsolutely I would personally thinkjudging by that and say that yourbiggest fear is probably expectationsrather than at your failure because Ijust feel like you're just go throughyour learn and then you're you'll bebetter and you just kick ass next timebasically yeah definitelyand I mean I've I've gone very big withmy first projects because a lot ofpeople said oh my god Donna like it'syour first projects that it's aneight-oh and obviously we get all thepeople the negative people say you can'tdo a hecho mo for your project you'vegot to 1/8 birds for your first projectyou won't get the investors you can'tget a bridge loan because we deal withbridge loans and I'm like well it'sfunny because I'm doing all of thatexactly so but but it's only through thefact that my sister is my mentor that Iknow she's doing it she's gettingproperties passed through blanketarticle 4 areas people on the HMO groupswhich are also on our own are sayingthat's impossible that's impossiblethat'sso I don't even comment anymore it'spossible yeah absolutely it's justimpossible for them I would justliterally leave it I think it's ablessing in disguise that obviouslyyou've got Trisha there to help you aswell because I'm not she's doingfantastic things but you also have togive yourself credit as well for yourmindset yeah yes I'm sure she's been amassive catalyst and help but I justfeel that your enthusiasm and like yousaid anything you you generally touchyou will make a success of it so don'tforget to obviously give yourself praisethere as wellyes no no I I think I use my sister toremind me you know when my little voicecomes in over where yes yes I use mysister as my no she's done it no she'sdone it she's got those figures onrefinance she's managed to do that sowhy can't I so she's just I supposeshe's my little crutch at the momentbecause I haven't done it so when I havedone it I'll be saying well no I didthat last time you know I'm doingalready done that I just want to bringup that point as well you mentioned thelittle voice because I can so relate tothat and I'm sure there's many of mylisteners who have this little voice intheir head and the beautiful thing withyou just saying that there is we allhave that little voice so some of usmight sit there you might have thisself-doubt and believe that maybe thisjust isn't for me but when you startspeaking to people who are doing amazingthings and I'm sure Trisha wouldprobably say the same thing I bet youshe has that little voice as well but Ithink what we have to do is we have tolearn how to calm that voice down andkind of overpowering I suppose in it andalso reminding yourself that your littlevoice isn't you yeah that little voiceisn't you this is all your that's allthat all your insecurities all yournegativity all those it's like thelittle devil sitting on your shoulder itreally is telling you that it isn'tpossible that you can't do it but youcan because all you need to do is takeaction stay positive keep the the rightpeople around you and network with theright people and you can make anythinghappenabsolutely I love thatwhat we're gonna do now is we're gonnago into the fun part of the show andjust keep it that you have no ideawhat's gonna happen but oh my god it'sreally easyhopefully it's a bit of fun it's justsixty Seconds where I'm gonna ask youthe most random questions just to kindof give the listeners a little bit moreabout yourself and mix it up a bit soare you ready yes all right fantasticwe're going to start in three two oneokay romance or comedy a comedy Italianor Chinese Italian the best place you'veever been Australia cinema or bowlingcinema the ability to fly or beinvisible Oh probably to fly money orfame money horse riding or fashion horseriding Netflix our YouTube YouTubeSnickers or MarsSnickers every day favorite TV show everprobably friends speak all languageswill be able to speak to animalslanguage is your biggest inspiration atthis particular moment in timedefinitely my sister Trisha love it ifyou could sit with one person in theworld for an hour who would it beit's a queen you know would you ratherknow how you would die or when you weredying when if you could have polish onething in the world what would it bebullying your favorite song everStereophonics performance and cocktailsis there and the final question is wouldyou rather read mindsor predict the future read minds love itbrilliant that's it oh my god bless yait's more fun that way because you can'tplan for it really yeah okay so Ibelieve hindsight is obviously awonderful thing and it teaches us thatwe can get to places quicker faster andprobably with less money as well but atthe same time the journey does teach usa lot as well so what I want to know isif you could go back in time to maybeone moment where you were younger whatadvice would you give yourself yeah Ithink at school I got bullied which I'msure a lot of people went through so youknow if I wish I had my thoughts myfeelings of our positivity back when Iwas like 12 13 I said Terrywith my skin so yeah it was a hard timeduring my teenage years and I just wishI could go back and tell that personthat you know your you are stronger thanyou think you are and these people it'stheir own insecurities it's their ownissues with themselves that are causingthem to bully you yeah so I I own ouslywould not change a single thing that hashappened in my life because it's beenWho I am today for like you said if Ihad to go back I would love to tell thatlittle girl the life will be good life'sgonna be amazing you just need tobelieve in yourself I love itI hate bullying like when you said thatyes named with me because I've hadfamily members suffer with it I was Isuppose I was very fortunate that I wasquite popular at school so I kind ofnever really in aspect but even nowgrowing up and becoming I suppose moreintelligent more emotionally aware Isometimes keeping myself how I neverreally like intervened or stopped sortof you know how yeah kind of laugh withthe crowd and I suppose that yeah that'sjust as bad really but at that time yeahso you feel like you'd you feel like youshould have stood up myself for thatbecause if I ever see anything now as aman I'd always jump in but as a kid Isuppose you're almost kind of worried Isuppose that if you jump in then you'regonna be at the crux of everyone's jokesyeah I think social medias happen interms of bringing it out there so whenthere are these cases going on and I'veseen quite a few terrible stories it isbringing the importance that you knowthis just isn't acceptable because itwas such a long term effect but I'm soglad that it hasn't obviously affectedyou too much because now you're doingamazing things and inspiring yeah andand you know what it's quite nice nowthat I'm older and I am successful and Ilook back on those people at that timewho aren't doing very well now and I'mlike that's because of the decisionsthat you've taken because of the actionsyou know and how you're behaved isresorted to where you are today and - tobe honest I'd love to sit down with themreallythen reflect on their decisions and whatthey're doing in their life to maketheir lives better yeah absolutelybrilliant so sadly that actually bringsus to the last question of the day andthe last question I always ask my guessis if in a 150 years time and sciencefails to save us and all that is left isa book on a table and that book is aboutyourself it's about your life andeverything that you've accomplished inyour life what would the title of thatbook be and what would the blurb tell usabout you oh what a question the titlewould definitely be never give up hmmlove it so doesn't matter how hard itgets doesn't matter how many obstaclesget in the way it doesn't matter howmany people tell you that you can't doit just never give up because I can tellyou now if you just keep striving forwhat you want you will get what youdeservenever give up obviously that's amotivational thing it's something that'swhy people but when they turn it over Iwant them to understand the author alittle bit so what will it say aboutDonna I think it will say that I was avery hardworking forward-thinkingbubbly motivated person who at themoment even I just want to help so manydifferent people so yeah I just hopethat even just 2% of my energy rubs offon people and and I think like after thereal life event that we've had thisweekend the amount of people that cameup to me and said oh my god you've madethis weekend amazing because of yourenergy and your Drive and how positiveyou are and it really is buzzed me offI'm like I'll just feel like I'm oncloud nine now so yeah I thinkand that's the sort of lastingimpression I live on people and I hopethat's the lasting impression on peoplebecause that's what I want to do I wantto make people feel like anything ispossibleabsolutely I'm confident in well becauseI think your infectious you remind me ofa good friend of mine sunny yes we yeahwe both know sunny day I've not met I'venot had the pleasure it's a meeting yeahbecause unfortunately we've had torearrange a couple of meetings but yeshe's another individual I'm lookingforwardabsolutely it's just good to be aroundpeople who can lift you up especially ina world where there's always negativityflying around it's always good to bearound positive people yes just beforewe close the show I want to give themyou an opportunity to let the listenersconnect with yourself where would youtell him to come and find you yes oh I'meverywhere at the moment very quicklyyeah luckily because I've already got abusiness I know how it all works oh I'vealready got an Instagram accounta compass property investment I'm onFacebook compass property investmentalso under my own name Donna Marie Pegganyone can contact me there I've gotemail it can contact me for email soyeah everything's up and running andI've even bought my domain for mywebsite that will I'm sure be gettingset up within the next 12 monthsyes so I'm I know how to be out thereand in your face that's Brad becausethat's what I want I want the listenersto be able to connect to you so wouldyou say Facebook as a first point ofcourse yes definitely Facebook I do farmore on Facebook than anywhere else sothey can find me through my personalpage Donna Marie peg and it's open tothe public now it never used to be acompass property investment page whichis also activeit's got ongoing updates what projectsI'm working on I'll be doing live videoson their videos if the properties showyou how my build team are getting on andalso I'm wanting to use italso a little bit like a blog so youknow they so they can see what I'm doingwhen I'm doing it how I'm doing it andalso what things I'm coming up againstso because I'm hoping to use it as a wayof teaching others the you know this isthe problem I've come up against this ishow I've got around it this is what I'vedone these are the people that havecontacted this is the strategies are putin place so I'm also teaching people tothe things that I and the self and Iknow you've had problems along the waybut I hope that by sharing the problemsthat I've had it will allow them toeither avoid the problems or deal withthose problems head-on because they'vehad the information and the tools thatthey need to get past it really okay sowhat I'm gonna do is I'm gonna add allof those links and the Instagram which Inever knew about so I'll add that aswell in the challenge I'm standing hereon Instagram my compass propertyinvestment group because I was actuallylooking this morning I think it wasbefore we started this interview I waslike is she on Instagram and I wastyping in Donna I couldn't find anythingno made from memories so made frommemories are on there my keepsake bearsand my property I haven't got a personalpage because I think it's him back on tothe gym and fitness and outfitting it'ssomething I imagine to go into possiblysetting up a business aimed towardssingle parents so single moms singledads and giving them a place that theycan have no reason to not go becausethere's childcare in their package intheir membership package and I thinkthat's something that I'm going to aimwith my purse maybe set up a personalInstagram and you know build that uparound the setting of her gym PTsessions with mums single mums andsingle dads to allow them theopportunity to always focus on theirtheir health and their physical exerciseregardless of having children I love itas if you haven't got enough to doyou're gonna sellso everything else is being ran byeverybody else because this is what youdo you set the businesses or can youcome out of the business then it givesme the time and the freedom to do theother things that I love so muchno that's brilliant I think I certainlyrecommend sit in a pair a personal one Ikind of do the same thing I have apersonal one I have a property one Ihave a social enterprise or now I'vejust I had a podcast one is also it'salmost my job that's right yeah findyour voice podcast yeah fantastic I'llhave to follow you back straight afterthis Donna I just want to say a massivethank you for taking time out of yourday to share your story I'm veryconfident it's gonna inspire many manypeople and to the listeners at homethanks for listeningmy absolute yeah thank you very much forasking me I read and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a 5-star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 11 - My Little Spartan - Michael V Kalisperas #11Tagline: "Unleash your inner spartan..."Apologies in advance for the sound quality on my end. Technical issues certainly played their role. But in true spartan fashion we kept going.Michael Kalisperas life turned upside when his son was hit with a number of health conditions due to the neglect of a midwife. Sadly his beautiful son's life had changed which would have a knock on effect to Michael and his family.However determined to not let this get him down, Michael continued to take action and let his excuses be a thing of the past. Realising his own excuses and rationales to avoid doing the hard stuff are so insignificant compared to the battles his son, and daughter face on a daily basis he ensured he crushed his goals.A successful property investor, an author, a father and loving husband Michael story is one which touched my heart.I reached out personally when I first heard his story because he genuinely changed my whole perception on the way I view my life or sometimes feel about my own situation.I urge you all to ignore the sound defects, which I take full responsibility for and listen to this incredible man's story.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mikekalispera (Personal)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EffusiveMarketing/ (Facebook group)Michaels book: https://amzn.to/2RUZ7MS#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so it's very rare thatI will stop a podcast especially at theend of it just to kind of find out whothe individual is now I'm not saying Idon't get inspired or motivated bypeople but generally speaking I'm justkind of excited for the next podcasthowever on this particular occasion afew years ago I actually pause thepodcast towards the end of the show nowthe only problem was I still had therest of my car journey to go so I waskind of sitting in silence but it wasworth it because I really wanted to senda message to this individual who I'm nowvery grateful to have on my podcast andI sent a message out to Michael to kindof say thank you for the inspiration forthe motivation and more importantly Ihope things really do progress a littlebit easy for him I suppose in life andspeaking to him in this interview it'sdifficult to say how things got easierbut one thing I can say is that he'sattitude is still the same he'swillingness to just go out there andtake action and not be a victim of hiscircumstances is fantastic and that'skind of what this podcast is about it'sabout eliminating your excuses it'sabout pay with the cards that you'redealt with it's about literally thinkingokay this is what's happened now how doI change this how do I go out into theworld and really find my voice and kindof write my own story so I think I'mgoing to leave it thereI just want to say before it starts Idid have some teething issues with theWi-Fi so we actually have to do a zoomcore wherewhich was fine for videos butunfortunately some of the Sam when I wasediting it back wasn't quite as clear asI had hoped because I was using mylaptop speaker as opposed to my mic thatI'm now recording this intro with sohopefully you can bear with this becauseI think more important than the soundquality is the message and the storybehind Michael's life so without furtherado let's get this interview on the wayokay so I am here today with my courseobviously I want to say thank youMichael for taking time out of your dayand there how are you doing today youngI'm very well thank yougood stuff good stuff so I think it'simportant for the listeners to reallystart to understand your story fromyourself so if you could please explainhow you progress through life yeah sureprogress through life as it seems like aI'm 42 in them in literally a couple ofweeks time so it's February you know sonot long I'm gonna be 42 so other knowwhere to begin to go through the wholelife scenario but I've done quite a lotof things I guess I could go back toeven school where I would say I wasprobably not the best at school and notreally someone that was a you know inthese special sets as they call himbecause I wasn't really interested inschool I didn't feel the vibe at schoolI just didn't you know bond with theteachers if I'm being honest but my lifecompletely changed where when I went tocollege and you meet a different type ofteacher and different environment and itwas a bit more more creative more myfeeling you know what cuz I've alwayscome from a creative background I'vealways been like an artist as such andthen I ended up pretty much ending upgoing to to university ended up at deMontford University and doing them so wecall multimedia design and marketingbasically which was basically it wasmultimedia and I left there and a lot ofmy friends ended up in the 3d world fromfrom from those sort of forces and endedup her kind of like playing games forSony Playstation so I'm got a real whileyeah got really good friends I'm quitewell in that and then and I ended upbasically showcasing my work they theyasked for a few people to earnto showcase their work at an exhibitionin London I think it was the Olympia Ican't remember the actual name of thevenue from being asked me so many yearsago and it was a big place and and theyhad about I don't know six of us theshowcase our stuff so they picked peoplethat they wanted to showcase at thisshow and it was just like a sort of likegreatest show and Khaitan story short Igot a head hunted by my boss back thenCharla Crais for the BBC ended upworking at the BBC basically doingdesigns and websites for them and yeahwe touched on many many areas it waswithin a group of people as a lot ofthese companies are and so I was in thedesigner group and basically designwebsites ranging from Teletubbies tocrime watch Top Gear yeah yeah very veryvery very very varied set of you knoweven like you know History Channel maybewe've seen so it was really it was adepartment called fracture and learningback at the time I think they've got ridof the actual Department have somethingelse it's called a different name nowyeah and I was in and I didn't staythere as long as I could of I decided toleave I don't know what it was I comefrom originally London actuallyironically but most of my life wasbrought up in a small village calledMulford where they've got the movinhills and more than spring water and allthis kind of thing and it is a bit likehouse on the prairie kind of thing andas when I lived there I can't wait toget out and you know escape and get intoUniversity and all that sorcerer and andmeet people and but when you go to thelike concrete jungle and kind of thinkon what god what is this AZ yeah yeahit's kind of like we start realizing youknow my dad says it is well he lived inthem the most of his life I actuallycame over here with nothing I mean heliterally had no money for shoes heliterally came with nothing from fromCyprus and he started up and he's donewell for himself through hard graft andhe he said to me I will I won't go backto London even if someone pays me youknow younot because he doesn't like Londondidn't love it you just just just founda different vibe somewhere else simpleas that and I think for me it's the samefind different vibe I still go to Londonoften I'm going for five days literallyin the next day date in half I'm goingthere for five days you're going in outof business and meet people and you knowso yeah it's a it's I love it a littlebit but to live there it's a differentworld he's in itdifferent world I lived there bought ahouse on the outskirts of it was a waswell II did the Olympics actually nowreally wish I didn't sell it I ended upselling it because I got squatter's youbelieve that I so that's my first trueinvestment and actually that propertynow is worth about seven hundredthousand I bought it about 115 I thinkit was i sold actually actually i onlyhad it for a year and I sold it but Imade 40k profit in that point that's loque ya I can't complain and it was a butstill I can't complain absolutely mypoint of doing it in keeping up was Ialways I always thought back there Iused to watch location occasionally allthose programs and I always wanted tobuild my own house I just wanted mightget buy land above my house and you knowobviously working in London you knowyou've got to be pretty sorted you knowsign up and bloody you know 23 years oldor whatever was coming about what andyou know the reality is that to buy landin Londonabsolutely from some guy in Morphin youknowand yeah just bought that property nothe plan was to keep it butunfortunately got screwed over yeah yeahand I was kind of like I just lost thewill to live my eyes I have to get ridso yeah ventually got rid of them andthey trashed it as well because althoughI Franky refurbished it and they trashedit which was really nice of thembut hey and it's one of those and it I'mback in it now yeah back into propertywell I wanted to do it quicker if I'mbeing honest with you I bought my ownhouse back in Melbourne after I sold mymy house therebought my own house back in well whenthat was brick building you knowsomething come up whilst we're comingout of the recession a boy at therecession period which was the worstthing can do I look because I'm soparanoid I was stuck on a highfixed-rate back of n so back then whenrates were going down to ridiculousamounts I was on a 6% or something crazyand it was but it was high right at thewrong time but there was there's off atthis something there's nothing betterthan having a peaceful kind of like youknow as long as you can work bloody harddid all the hours of possibly do tocover it and literally you like workingand everything was going straight intothat pretty much but I truly believe youknow if you can get through the hardtimes that you know the green the greensgrowing you know absolutely is notgrowing yeah so no it was a it was worthit it was worth it and there's my myfirst house and I say proper house 5bedroomed detached properties in it yeahlots of people of them you know donethings with you know the great thingsbut at the time that was the right thingabsolutely how so some wonderful thingisn't it yeah absolutelyso that's took you back into property Iused still actively a property investorknows that where you kind of callyourself or ya know it's a bit weirdbecause I mean I think digress in thatlast question I'm I got back intoproperty after my son was made severelydisabled basically we basically had mybeautiful son bornVasili born completely healthy came homewith him completely normal and then amistake by the Midwifenot following certain procedurebasically ended up with a catalogue ofmistakes not just the Midwife we forgavethem publicly in the newspapers which ispretty damn hard to do because you knowthere was blatant mistakes I mean whenyou go to the report that they did itwas like there was several mistakes andit basically you know from having abeautiful child born healthy coming homeyou know healthy we've got a child nowthat's severely disabled trapped in hishot and wheelchair pretty much trappedin his body and declared blind deaf withspastic cerebral Z so I mean he's realcontrol is his tasteyou know and that was hard we were toldhe was blind to completely weave andsort of like therapy and all sorts ofstuff we research in America and and youknow not too long ago we had somereports saying that he's they put someprobes on his head and the reckon hecould see now and that really just aboutthat he was completely deaf but wepainful taking a decision while they'reyoung to put them through horribleoperations but but we put him through anoperation that has given him like therobotic sound if you know I mean so okhe's got something called Cochlear'swhere they kind of drill into the headthey put a magnet processor goes on thatand then they put some probes orwhatever goes straight down into thecochlea and now that goes back to aprocessor and so he can hear like andthe best way I describe it to people iswhy we've been described we've been toldit is Americans used to talk yeah that'show he can hear pretty much so he'llpick some things up certain spectrumsome sounds he might not be able to pickup but um generally you know but hereacts to me he knows me his mom heknows that's the love it definitelyresponses without that just give me anexample but the amount of light therapythey put on him is basically that youput it had he his blood was poisonedpretty much had to do platoons but theythe way they can sort of negate thatthat the increase of bilirubin whichhelped cause brain damage was put himunder the lights and they did that for alot of premature children actually butbut they put him under the lights and hewas that much under the lights that heactually looked like a black child andhe was you know you know at work witholivey skin but generally kind of whiteyou know but he look like a black childand you know I will never forget andI've got him on my phone I meanliterally I've just got him on my phoneand it's a reason to have a picture ofhim on my phone like this the reason whypeople think it's probably weird why doI have him as a screen saver as my childwith all these tubes in him you know uphis nose on his arms everywhere probeseverywhere and looking it's likecompletely you knowokay but the reality is I'm really proudof him that's why that's his that's hisdefining moment you know they survivedthat and no matter how much crap hashappened since in the last almost sevenyears literally I look at that photo andwhen I'm feeling it and I've had a lotof crap come on trust me within a lot oflocals when I'm really feeling thatthinking how dare I even complain youknow I complain this kid has gonethrough everything you know and hesteals your perception and killseverything that is your lifee absolutelyyeah yeah I'm even using that now on mydiet I'm on I want to call it alifestyle change a lifestyle yeah I lovethat change but I've lost like almost Iwas it I was 17 pound 17 stone - alrightand I put on weight free depression 17pounds - - and with just over threeweeks on and I'm I'm 1510 now so babyit's a big drop for a short period timeand that's because of him you knowbecause I just think I thought screwthis I can't I can't keep killing myselfabsolutely but it's a property yeah I'dsay I'd say that was my defining momentI needed to do something to help my sonand to have my family well we're inhospital whilst all that stuff was goingon with transit bills coming in neededto pay and what people don't show you isyou know obviously you don't have thesupport you know the supports maybe lateIran after a while a little bit ofsupport here in there so it's charitablesupport you know if you get a casethrough negligence then you get supportlater on down the linebut even then you've got support wherepeople assume or you know you thoughtyou got proper support your support soit's actually like that last night youknow I had about four hours sleep whichis standard now most people don't getthat they think that's weird but that'sstandard for us and like we've got withthree carry Shaw so you know my wife andI cover in that you knowI got full-time care 24/7 well he'ssupposed to Apple we've never hadfull-time 24 not for seven years it'sjust impossible it's just we struggle toget people you know what you get it it'slike it's like yeah unfortunately ourhome has become a business in terms oflike it's a care home you know but youknow what in the last year he's beenreally stable so you know it's taking alot more there's less hospital visitsand stuff like that so you know he'sbeen really really stable and you knowhe sees making massive massive strides Imean he was declared blind he wasdeclared deathwe know he can see now he's using on Iguess how much he can see we don't knowI truly believe it's with the therapy wedid with that research we did withChristine Ramon which basically involvedputting a torch in the eyes andswitching on and off watch the peopleopen and grow he'd never met a flinch totalk through the light and he couldflinch and then so at night me and mywife throughout the night with takingturns and just through four hoursyou know switched it has to be tungstennot a blue like they can screw throughthe eyes er it has to be like thoseold-fashioned boulders you know yellowones and yeah and you just watch hisbody so he's like my sergeant is I Irecite which open and grow grew andclosing and and yeah off and theneventually after months of doing thatonce I think is my wife in the in thebathroom she was he wasn't sleep andseals up with him and she was just doingit bless her persevering on and she'sjust called me and I'm not military wentin there and the lights were all off Iput the lights on and I put the lightson because you had a torch and hechanged the hell Wowand she goes let's see he did it to youas well I'm like wow that's crazyso ya know it's mine it's mine so isthat and then again he was fed throughthe tube and we retrained him through alike a milk bottle he couldn't move hismouth off he couldn't in his braindamage basically he's brain damaged butand we used to squeeze the teat you knowand then move his bottom of his chinwith our finger just dissolved so gethim into a sort of like you know any nowhe takes it takes food from the weekendfrom Holly is itit's it's been hard it's been hard manbut you know perseverance what can I sayand that's what it is and I think it'sdifficult because obviously I can'trelate to anything that you've gonethrough in that situation but using thatas an example so my foster siblingssay pastor Simmons there were initiallyfoster siblings we went through specialguardianship so three of my siblingshave had similar what's gonna call itdisabilities growing up as well so forinstance the older one he's got a mentalage which is less than half his agewe've got one who's on the autisticspectrum yeah and when they came into mylife a little bit which is why Iresonate with your story a bit is itchange my whole perception of life andeverything that I used to mourn aboutthe silliest things now I'm grateful forand I know you know we all sending outquotes every single day and we're alltrying this positive beacon of light butI genuinely had them within my followersas well similar to yourself and it'snear when I'm there feeling crappy orfeeling sorry for myself because I don'tknow the car tires flat or somethingsomething daft perspective but thesekids are finding them much harder battlethem then I'm having to fight and yesit's commendable because I don't want tomake this about property because anyonethat wants to know my calling propertiesnew fantastic and you've got podcastsout for that and you can reach out tohim afterwards but this is more aboutyou as a person who's taken this use youchange the perception you've dealt withthe cars that you are handed it's notfair I can't explain only thing anyonecan explain why weird out certain cardsbut all we can do is play with them thebest way that you can a new kind of Iknow you very quickly scaled up afterthat and maybe that's because your backwas against the wall I suppose and yeahyou spy on me I mean there's a myfavorite quote and I promote it in oneof my groups could effusive entrepreneurit's called it's from Jack London andit's a it's basically about you knowplaying a bad hand well basically yeahand there's an ace of cards you know aceof hearts on the card you can you canalways play a bad hand well and sobasically don't even if you you can dofeels like on them on the outside of ityou might feel like you're losing it'show you play or how you react to thatthat counts so example is in propertyis I mean add a commercial toresidential big oneI'm Birmingham it's 15 rooms in the endand it was my my first commercial and mysecond project in property and I prettymuch jumped the gun a bit but we haveeverything complying at us literally andit was really stressful and at the sametime as going through moments or likeI've been for my own health careproblems I was going through cancerscare myself and there's a lot going onobviously my son and you know dealingwith deal certain builders oh my godnightmare and getting things wrong andit was just you know massive learning wehad contamination issues we had we hadall sorts of problems just cracking onbut you know again look at my my son onmy photo on my on my phone and I talkabout my son but I actually used my sonas a metaphor for my family yeah becausemy kids that my children Ellie Maria twogirls they're just as amazing Maria forinstance she's actually disabled as wellbut people don't know it and she's gotsome good Zubaz syndrome where middlepart of her head the brains not fullyformed and really rare and it can happenby being sheared and my bum or I've beenshitty stressed at birth and it can beit can happen from genes and allsomething that it's not our genesbecause we checked them and you know itbasically she's got autistic issues shecould go blind that she grows olderbecause the protein doesn't protect hereyes and all this kind of stuff but shecould have been worse I mean apparentlythey're not supposed to have balance andcan't walk but she she fires us all Imean she was she was born and had wasshaken her lace and Eliza liked she hadnystagmus and head wouldn't stop shakingso she's trained a brain to you know toplanets her eyes and and she's learnedyou know to keep straight and she she'stalking to normal school she's doingeverything she's you know she's onlyfour or five now and she's doing reallyreally well and I she's got littletantrum tantrums but not doesn't quiteunderstand certain stuff but I mean I'dsay but now she's still more behavedsome children I know that haven't gotnearly so I classI think I don't sort of put out therejust because she's not disabled reallyyou know he is on paper but she's not sofor me you know it's almost like my sonwas brought there to sort of like helpus deal with the shit that's to come ifthat makes sense my thought was likethat and we didn't have no problemsbefore and all the stuff for theproperty stuff I don't I think whatwould have hit was hard but goingthrough sheer hell you know when my sonreally sort of prepared us a lot for alot of stuff oh it came I understandthat but I think sometimes it's funnybecause I don't wish anyone to really gothrough pain it's not yeah yeah but thatmakes me feel sad when I know people aregoing through pain but sometimes I feelpeople need to experience some level ofadversity you know not to really findfocus and change their life as well andas much as I'm trying to tell peopledon't wait for that wake-up call forexample don't wait for to find out thatyour child may need extra care forexample or you've been hit with theillness get out there and do it now andI suppose it's easier said than donebecause if nobody's having to live thelife Safe Routes that you've lived forexample yeah well like my siblings theydon't really have that agency my it'sfrustrating I get frustrated because I'mlike we are so blessed like beyond meanseven what we're doing now being able tocommunicate how we eyes Isis anythingyeah absolutely I mean there's so muchhorrible stuff out there in the worldand it's just you know it's crazy to youknow to to not be grateful for whatwe've got and and and you know when yousee people that are grateful whenthey've got little and we've all beenthere we've all been them in some way inour minds we've been at the greatest oflows and it could be from spitting outwith your boyfriend or girlfriendit could be splitting up with you knowyou know a JV partner I don't know thepoint a point is you know at that pointit could be serious the most absolutelow you know you could have healthissues cancer issues family there's allsorts we've had that as well in thisperiod and that n is it's not great it'snot great but at the same time you knowI've always said one of my sayings islike you know we will never you knowwe'll neverI don't get my words up today well we'renever given a Golden Pathit was never we never no one promised usanything you know and so and so like ifyou want something you've got to go andget it you either fail or you successfall you know and if you're successfulgreat if you fail get up and do it againand keep trying that and even if you'vegot no money or anything there's alwaysaway you know and you know what worstcomes to the worst I'm dying fromsomething it's if you've got your mindin the right mind and you think you knowwhat I was conceived that's amazing Ilived a few years that's amazing if youget your mind in the right mind youstill be grateful even when you're dyingyou know I mean and we've seen otherwitness people like that you know yeah Ilove that mindset you just touched onsomething and make sure we add it at theend of the show you've got a group youjust say yeah I've got I've got a groupit's called the effusive entrepreneurokay so anything about stuff like theseentrepreneurs is in the name but aboutyour mindset as well well it's actuallyI do marketing I do it mine only amarketing training and that's like alittle group I actually put more effortin my closed group which is people in myarm in a number the thing for me is likeI literally had a VA that was helping meout on that side of thingsand she literally went AWOL live justrandomly went AWOL and I don't know whathappened I really don't know but she'sfrom Philippinesit just went AWOL so yeah looking at adecent VA at the moment I think I foundonewe'll see how it goes but yeah now Ineed to push push put more engagement inthat group from being honest with youokay yeah I know it's a great group I'vegot loads of people about I think about300 people in the group yeah I doengagement but not as much as I likeI've got a couple of other groups havegot one called it's magnetic marketingsystem is another group it's justbasically a really secret one groupwhere it's just the people that I trainarm property marketing getting leadsabout business and all that kind ofstuff an investment it's a small verysmall group at the moment I've got a fewpeople that you guys know some reallygreat people successful people right inthere and yeahso that's going really well gonna beopen that up again soon um yeah justI've got my event in London that'scausing a lot of bloody Wow yeah my sonright that's marketing again it's goingto be we've got we've got a Khadija theapprentice star she's gonna be therewe've got a YouTube expert you know he'shelped Samuel Leeds get from 50,000 to150,000 something a lot you know he'stalking it's all about marketing it'sgonna be it's gonna be awesome and canfit about 480 people at the MarriottHotel in London it's my event bigpressure on me it's only 16th and 17thof March this year prices start at 97pounds but you get actually what we'redoing now we get got this programactually that I'm affiliated to andwe're going to be offering people freeaccess to this program which is you knowpretty amazing yeah any other ticketprices which basically covers theircosts on the bottom ticket easily andbasically they could create landingpages you know can forgive the emailsystem within it so if you want to buildyour own website that's the andtemplates in there so they get that forfreeI haven't launched it yet but you'veheard it here first on our I'm justgonna say you were saying your nervouslyI'm sure you don't need any moremotivation than just to look at yourphone before that exactly exactly thatmay be right yeah okay absolutely that Isee it I mean I guess that thenervousness is the fact that you knowit's a it's a big thing you'd love tofill it out you know you care about itcare about I've got 15 speakers and manycome from abroad there's people like youknow top and marketers making 40 50grand a month you know it's crazy but afigure of guy theretheir partnership guys and and and youknow it's yeah it's it's this pressureyou know but it's great it's great nowI'm like you know I'm one of these likeyou know it's easy for me to go easycoming to go you know what you've got totry these things what does Rob Moore saydon't the risk you know basicallyabsolutely yeah yeah I'm surewell yeah I'm so it's all quite a fewtickets not enough but we've only justlaunched so you know it's a it'ssomething we pushing out there lookforward to it make sure you mediainformation isafter this and I'll send you a signaturenotes it's automated I said it put a lotof people it's good for you know coachesanyone wanting to launch an event anyonethat's in marketing wants to do a bitmore marketing on their property and getsome really great bubbly gonna get sometools for itfantastic okay brilliant so you actuallydoing like more stuff than I knew aboutyou I know I know of course he's afull-time dad and I thought that wouldbe taking up all your time but here youare making your own events andeverything so another question then soyou're successful in what you've done interms of the property you're doing agreat job with your children and yourfamily so what's the day like from themoment you wake up tell you got like 17or yeah I bet I amI wake up about four or five in themorning right sometimes going to bedlate unfortunately but it's not mychoice no that's not by choice that'sactually by habit now that's initiallyit wasn't by choice now if I'm beinghonest with you the reality is I couldsleep a little bit longer but I've justit's just become me now if I can getsleep and I accidently sleep throughthat because all exhausted or whateverand and actually doing this diet it'sreally helping me so if my son doesn'tdisturb me and doesn't wake up and thatyou know I could easily go into 7:00you know easy yeah well it's it's justum it's just nice you know I actuallyget a good rest when I go to like eventsyou know you know so but my schedule isbasically get about four or five I Ialways turn ask me why it's reallystrange but I always always comedownstairs I eat a bananarandal cake I'm not banana manmy first thing I do a banana I go to myson I give him a really big kiss becausehe's exhaust get ready has his dinnerand he's get ready for his he's likespecialist school a given big kiss thegirls are still in bed and my son's lotobviously awake and then I start lookingat my schedule for the day I neverfollow it just to meokay he's organized work just look at ityes I'm aware of it because what happenswhen I start creating a website orlanding page for someoneor final for someone to help convert youknow get people to event or throughFacebook ads or whatever I'm doing forpeople I end up like getting engrossedin the computer and some way it's gonnabe supposed to be an hour it ends upbeing longer so so setting time becausefor me doesn't and and what I do is Ijust make sure I do the stuff and and Imake sure I do it at whatever cost andso I do I literally do that and I tryand mix it with the children like I havethe computer here in the living room momore often on by my bed upstairs on mybed believe in our it's not the bestcomfortable thing to do here because ofthe reception's better there you know abillion you get piece if the kids arekind of well-behaved watching TV I liketo kind of come here in that but if it'stoo noisy I just can't I just can't overthis I've got like a an outbuilding aswell that I converted for a trainingsuite and I've got an office there thatneeds a little bit more finishing offbut it's pretty much burn so I'm gonnastart and can start utilizing that morejust gets a bit cold I've got the heatis on there in that but it's like you gowarm it up for like an hour or so beforeand today I can't be asked you know justa lot stay upstairs on my bed and justdo my work you know not a great thing todo but now I've got a proper PT involvedwith my exercise we're gonna make itthat part of my schedule something to dothis year try and get you know not justuse the lose the the fat actually getsphysically more stronger and you knowgetting care scheduling for that atleast I think for me there's anything onschedule that I want to do I'm pushingmy marketing efforts because a lotpeople while so I've been my propertyjourney you know I've had a few podcastsand interviews and so on I've not reallypromote it'll push what I what I trainedin you know design and marketing and andI've had a few people approached me overthe years from property world and it'slike I've helped them massively I'vehelped people like were there you knowthey might have a 399 ebook and I makethem 15k within a couple of months injust Facebook ads butby promoting a book you know and it'sit's I know I'm good at what I do but Idon'tand III this is my biggest flaw I don'tlike selling I don't like selling andI'm one of rob mores mentors and I'vesigned up to his thing cuz I got reallygood at helping people value theirselves helping them realize their worthand he said something recently he saidhe said something about when people sayoh I don't need to sell myself I don'tneed yeah I don't need to sell myselfpeople come to me that's me that's meman I hate to admit it it's like I get Iget work it just comes to me right butactually imagine what I'd do if I shouldstart promoting myself you know leave itso much on the table yeah I'm leaving somuch on the table almost I almost don'tgive a crap because I'm designing my ownlife you know I mean yeah at the sametime if I really want to get to my goalmy goal is actually to eventually beable to afford to buy an Ironman suitfor my son some sort of give him theindependence thought we know that'sgonna cost millions and if I want to getto that goal at that you know at thatpoint then I'm gonna have to do betterthan this sort of like you know just youknow happy happy that enough workscoming my way and people using me thatway I think I should be you knowprofessionalizing myself a little bitmore and and valuing myself more to thepoint that I should promote myself it'sjust that there's a nervousness ofpromoting yourself I mean I think you'veprobably seen it amongst the the theforums and that people kind of thinkyour guru rising yourself or you knowlike oh god who's another personthinking a minute I had a businessbefore hello you know these peoplebusiness before and what you do inbusiness is you promote a market that'swhat you're supposed to do you knowthey're almost I allow myself to beaffected by other people's judgmentswhich you can't do even myself I mean Ipromote myself a lot more recentlyespecially in the last 12 months interms of like my own brand and me as aperson that initially was the hardestthing I've ever had to do and the wholepoint of like you need to know yourWorth and stuffwe were spoken to me I thinking one ofmy first jobs when I was young as aproject manager and my manager at thetime because I came out of meyou know when they ask you what'sspecial about you give three things asan icebreaker I was like nothing I'mjust I'm just me yeah he told meafterwards because he he listed like afew things that he found special aboutme and long story short he was that ifyou don't blow your own trumpet nobodyelse is gonna in this world because ofthe way the moment is and I don't knowyou always resonated with me and itstill took me the best part of seveneight years later on to real stuff I'mthinking if I can just do this and notreally worry about the engagement andkind of just be like look I've got amessage here I want to share it it comesfrom the heart it's honest if youresonate with it fantastic if you don'tnot a problem so it was difficult for usbecause they used to send it off andyou're kind of looking at your phonethinking what's gonna happen and nowit's kind of like I just Lars a andpeople ask me that how did you writecontent and I say I don't like reallywrite contact a kind of document like mylife kind of things like you've donesomething a property I'll speak about itif it's health and fitness I'll speakabout it if it's like an interestingmeeting I'll just speak about it andhopefully I always try and give peoplesome sort of tangible yeah informationthat they can take away I think youshould be that because I didn't know youwere doing all these amazing crazywonderful things yeah a bit here inthere I do you know I mean I'll get myflap out on flipping social media justto really put myself available to theworld you know that I'm gonna loseweight and I say I wrote i put a visionI put watch this miraculous journey ofthis of me this is anyway and I've doneit in three weeks already there's noultimate accountabilityyou know ridicules you that you're gonnabe it's embarrassinga whole lot the source stuff but at thesame time you know for the first time inmy life we have tried different dietssince what happened to my son I put alot of weight on the first time in mylife I'm facing it head-on so yeah ohyou and look at my fat mass yeah I'mhereabsolutely even my addictions and I callthem addictions because that's all I'veever eat and then it's like I literallyget urges for this stuff isn't my portmy secrets of this diet is I'm facing itand I call it the no BS lifestyle dietokay basically I put Pringles fizzydrinks and I've got a packet of Haribooutside of my bedoh no Quinn okay right and I sleep withthem by the side of my bed and I wakethat with the word webecause I had to face my addictions yeahyeah and it's a bit like that inproperty when people would like go totraining training training trainingtraining training training trainingtraining training the good mentors weresaying you got to do you've got to justyou know and and I you know I'm a coursedrinking I'm proud of it I'm proud of itI'm a course drunk eating for two mainreasons number one it's always good evenif you already know the stuff to go overagain it's good to get reminders rightbut number two and this is the biggestonementors need Mentors even if you'rewhatever level you are and all mymentors have got mentors themselves youknow I mean Nick James is mentorshipI've been under song azuki's mentorshipI mean Rob Moore's mentorship you knowthe reality is and I I mentor otherpeople myself yeah and I truly believethat you you've got to really be what'sthe word humble enough to want to keeplearning absolutely and there's a lot ofpeople that are arrogant and feel likethe only courses well good for you happyyou do not everyone wants to work thatway I actually love people right I lovenetworking I love people but I lovegenuine people that I've got integritythey're true to them certainly I reallycan't stand people that fake I hate itand I can sense them a mile away and andI always when I talk about marketing'sbe true to yourself just be yourself andpeople attract to you and a good friendof ours Camilla does the sa stuff Iwould say so namecan we look oh yeah she's exactly greatand I mentor mentoring in marketing aswell but it's usually just started to befair and and you know she's a reallygreat she's doing massive should bereally successful and she's doing it byjust being herself she's been brilliantyou know and you know we all learn offeach other I've learned a lot of Simon'suchi I've learned a lot of Rob more I'velearned a lot of Nick James you knowI've got another mentor that is you knowdefinitely need him because he's likehe's like a sales machine he reallyknows he's you know he's good he's got aproduct called open with a closingdoesn't do its Leslie it's just like youknow you want my product is I'm worththis much and you know so this is whatit is and he's named my Elwell reallygreat guy amazing guy getting hired bysome really top guys at the momentbecause he's easy really is you knowlegend or what he does and so yeah Iwant to constantly improve I want to beI want to be my ultimate self before Idie and I know more than a lot of peopleknow life it's bloody short manit really is severely because of yourexperiences yeah absolutely yeahyeah I think you touch on quite a fewthings with your whole I'm lookingforward to it but I actually lose 42pounds in seven and a half weeks myselfso what I want to do boxing never go tothe gym and I was a think was about 24at the time and there was like sevenyear-olds two ten-year-olds very cheekylittle kids and I'd to go for a roomwith him so I told the kids because thenI was all the way and I could I couldn'trun more than like 200 meters and all Icould hear him was saying come on oldman come on Batman and all these kind oflike really literally me facing it but Itook I took it personally I was likeI'll get you back and then with a loveworking working my ass off basically forthe next two months it really reallyhelped and there is no magic formula toanything whether it's property whetherit's health and fitness whatever it isliterally you just got to go and do itand then if you you learn a little bityou pivot I hope that's called it on myuncle my own podcast called Mike dropsget okay I guess my drop is call mineyet close and I've interviewed a coupleof a top level you know we're talkingreally high level guys in America mycalls another guy called les Evans and11 there's Evan said a thing to me hesaid he said um he said people thinkthere's an easy route to success butit's all hard work even when it doesn'tlook that way and he said even if you'repeople just speak in the thing they'rejust speaking they're successful fromspeaking andand he's brilliant at that is amazingamazing me he's gonna you know he's he'sadvised people in the White House he'sdone all sorts he's just bum a lot theguys absolutely legend and he's hadbecome a really good friend of mine andand he was saying to me you know Iremember it was on the lines of like Iremember when you said pedal stallpeople like that look big and famous andhe became himself but in the end they'rejust flipping normal people and whatpeople don't understand is that you knowthey want to laugh you know they want toget on you know they don't to be usedand and and there's a lot of truth inthat and there and there's a lot ofpeople do assume they also die theyconnected that way back I used to givehim a lot of my time for free and in theend I ended up blocking him and this iswhere you learn about time for money andit wasn't yeah it was like you everyevery conversation about a heart I'vetough your love to have your lives loveto out Matt me yeah I'd live in aflipping shed and have my son healthyyou won't want my life trust me it's notgreat but you know it's not as great asyou think it is you know and and it wasjust constant constant constant constantlike you know like MV and it wasn't thenice he wasn't moving forward is that Iwant to get 200 houses within two yearsand he was like really unrealistic yeahall right 10x it I you know go for ityou know I hate that comment that wordclinics it got you know I love whatGrant Cardone is about I just hate the10x it that side of it not because Idon't believe in it I believe in itit's just that I see if thrown aroundtoo freely now and and like by peoplethat could potentially really screwtheir lives over if they do try to 10xit you know and where they feel that youknow they've been inspired and they canjust rush ahead you've got to get theeducation in I don't care what you knowyou got to build the foundations he'sgot to build the foundations and andthen and then to exit first you know andthen check out what you know check out aflavor for it and then check out what Xmight be you know I don't like the 2xyou know I'm not doing us a great pointI think we're in thesociety obviously with the wholeInstagram highlight reels and nobody'sreally posting stuff that is like theirbad days of supposed and I supposedindirectly I don't know how but when Iwas getting a bit of traction in likethe property groups it was because I wasjust Oakley admit all my mistakes upsomething I was just documenting againlike listen I am probably the worst guya property talking three years ago I wasa look I made this mistake I've madethis and people resonated with that soindirectly actually helped 9% of thetime it is lychee everyone showing theirbest date on a highlight reel and Ithink we get that thing and then peopleread the secret and it's all thiswishful thinking and it's like listen itis goes back to what you said earlier doit do it you've just got to face it anddo it just exactly I mean madness you'respot on and the crazy thing is is thatI've been exactly the same I've donepodcasts and I've been honest juststraight on you know I'll straight upwith out loud you didn't want to hear itwe didn't want to hear it I'm like youknow and and cut long story short thethe realities that they won't value inmy time but I wasn't violent valuing itI can't blame them it's actuallysomething that I get a trouble from frommy wife so I'm always trying to help asmany people as I can so I'm alwayshaving these one-hour coffees that goingto like one and a half hours orconversation 15 minutes or less yeah andthen at the end of its like I've got notime to spend with my wife for exampleyeah because I'm just trying to help butthen most of those people they'll comeback with pretty much the same kind ofquestions or concerns two months laterhaving done nothingyou're almost yourself and I think I'msimilar to you in that respect which isthere's some great points that you madedays that I need to start my new my timea little bit there yeah not so much Iknow I need to charge for example it'son the faith basis that is this personreally going to do it and what I'vestarted doing as of the last two days istaking calls on the way to the gym soI'm like you've got ten minutes with mefar away I'll kind of give youeverything I've got I know it's workingokay because it kills that time to thegym so yeah absolutely yeah it's noteating a weigh-in time that you which isvaluable time is valuable time time I'vesaid entire book emergency we have youknow in the lane if if if people don'tvalue your timemmm bug you you spell as I and why workwith people that don't value you they'rejust picking and sponging your brainbecause they can't be asked again spendthe money on the courses and theeducation and or go through the grit inthe action that you've gone through inthe pain that you've gone through theyjust want to just you know squeeze yoursponge brain and get all the bloody Evoout you know those people it doesn'tmake us a you know this is not a youknow I'm holy than now I'm perfect I Iknow my share you know this has justjust been honest with the situation youknow so I absolutely love helping peopleI really do it's just some people justdon't value your time enough so okaywe're gonna change gears a little bitwe've spoken about adversity which isone of the main drivers like in yourlife and I don't wish it on anyone to gothrough the same kind of stuff but weall go through something what I wouldask you though is a different questionis about fear so it's probably a commonquestion but I want to know what is yourbiggest fear but I want to stop and takeaway what I think he's gonna be yourfirst answer from doing some Daryl Browntactics here so you can't mention youryour children or your wife in thisscenario but what is your biggest fearas as yourself my biggest fear formyself is not accomplishing my dreamsokay and my dreams are actually yes theyare to be able to get enough money toafford certain things from my family andI'm not supposed to mention them but myactual my dreams are to actually besuccessful and proud enough to know thatyou know that boy in school that was atloss was crap had to have extraeducation was themedyou know classes dyslexic really smashedit regardless he's not I mean and and soyou know for me to start that wouldreally be probably my biggest fear stophim from for me I really I really wantto get aspire to inspire is what I wantto do right and the way you inspire isby doing great things and and thosegreat things could be I give a lot tocharity myself I donated just over fourthousandpounds Christmas do recently you knowand and before that I've donated loadsand even my book my little spot and thatI've written for my son all the all themoney from that including the cost ofmaking it which most people don't dothey has gone to different charities youknow everything wasn't a lot you knowbecause these costs of these profitscarry yeah yeah and even before thateven you know I've just constantly youknow every year given in some form tocharity and the point is this like it'snot because I'm you know I want to beseen as you know are what passive and uhand people that know with me will knowthis is true so I could be a propertymeet in and we're walking up the roadfor me laughter and I'll just givetwenty pounds of baby homeless man Idon't record it I don't you know butpeople that would mean no it yeah Idon't do it for you know I know inLondon wherever I am if I see someoneI'll donate and you know and I don'tcare if they're they look like they'redruggies well it's not at the end of theday I because I'm not gonna judge youknow they can do what the hell they wantwith ityou know I want to give if I've got ityou know and if it helps them it helpsthem I just get I don't need to promoteit or anything that but the reality isalthough ironically there's a promote inthis podcast estrangement but honest islike where we're and it's just merelyanswering your question you know my goalis to aspire to inspire to inspire andif I can do that for my kids and otherpeople and great you know and and if itmeans like you know giving when youhaven't even got it and I've done thatand and you know it's like then you knowyou do you leaving some sort of trail oflegacy wait wait people might notremember me you know but you knowsomeone might you know yeah I don't knowbut at the end of the day it's strange Ihaven't made haven't made it in in mymind a successful property developer ormarketing agency in my mind I've got along way to go but I'll also at the sametime I don't want to have a lot you knowI want to be comfortable I don't want tohave like the two hundred thousandliving rooms and whatacquiring to do well you know I reallydon't I don't envy people like that whenI see people doing well I'm like good onyou I'm yeah I really I never had thejealous I never I just truly think goodon you the ones I don't like are theones that do it and they're they'rehorrible assholes you know I mean thesepeople win don't they yeah yeah okayfantastic no I know that that makessense I think I'm very similar as wellin relation to what you saying there andjust on that analogy song I've had goingoff on a bit of a tangent here peoplewho are quite charitable but they'llnever give to somebody who maybe theyassume is gonna have alcohol and drugsor something and my philosophy hasalways been I mean growing up and theway my mom's always talking is just givewhatever you can give but and the baseis that maybe maybe your donation thatthey will just change that person'sperspective or life and providing you'renot just throwing it at home and maybeyou can just give it a try contact willhave a good day or something so I justgive him that lift that they need alljust to keep him going for another dayso I'd always urge people whatever youcan give this absolutely give but yeah Ican't imagine you being somebody's gonnabe taking a selfie while you're doingthat I mean and the truth is I should beyou know utilizing it for you know butat the same time it's it's not itdoesn't sit rightyou know it doesn't sit right so you'veheard the buzzer it's going off so whatI'm gonna do now is but Mike with threespaces for the next 60 seconds and he'sall I do basically whatever the firstanswer comes into your head please giveme that one and you ready mate I'm coolI'm ready okay we're gonna start inthree two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisiblefly money or fame fame singing ordancing singing Netflix our YouTubeYouTube Marvel or DC are Marvel easilywould you rather know how you were dyingor when you would i how love or moneylove books or movies i love booksactually if you could sit with oneperson in the world for an hour whowould it be I would love to sit withDonald Trump to figure out why the helllooking weird andgo ahead going on I just I'm justperplexed and also kind of yeah it's aweird onethat we interested yeah you're worse bea growing up fighters actually okay andfinally what is your biggest addictionmy biggest might what was my biggestaddiction was slight wrinkles and yeahwrinkles my biggest addiction at themoment is learning junkie for learningand just some Pringles because I'm aPringles fun as well what's yourfavorite cocktail sorry I don't get methinking the next one's on reflectionyeah we've spoken about this earlierwe've spoken about hindsight being awonderful thing how you can teach you toget to where you are quicker easier orwith less heartache for example butknowing what you know now and with yourlife experiences and obviously yourmindset now if you could go back to atime maybe when you were younger maybegoing through college or school and youcan just whisper something in your earknowing how life would pan out for youand just to kind of maybe motivate orinspire that young Michael what wouldyou say I would say you're able to doanything you put your mind to because Ireally believe growing up because I wastold it you know my teacher I didn'thave a good attention span and myteacher must teacher said to me ohyou're gonna end up as a glassblower shewas old fashioned herself and mostpeople didn't really kind of connectwith her if I'm being honest with youbut that really thought I thought whatthe hell you know kind of thing to saythat just because I you know and Iwasn't interested in her lessons I justwould and again it goes down to what weread in property marketing people couldbe connected you know whatever you do init's about attention and connectionright you've got to get the attention tobe noticed and you've got to connect soif you're going to get an investor tocome to you you've got to get theattention you've got to do that one wayor another and then you've got toconnect and you can only connect bybeing you because long term wise youknow it's a marriage you know it'ssimply that absolutely and it's theeasiest thing to do be yourself ratherthan trying be someone else off man donot have some music but I see people mygod and I just cringe and I know that itmakes me cringeI see people they've been II won't even touch into it too much butthere's people that mean there's aparticular person that's training thesame people when they're like they'refollowing the same moves and everythingin their acting the same as this personexactly in every way and it's a it'ssquiggly it's creepy and windy it is andthe problem with it is as well if you'recopying somebody else you're almostrelying on them to do something you knowthe few to follow see as a policy if youjust make your own journey and writeyour own story I've got one thing whereI've got respect for these people that'sall for helping them is they've alreadytaken a step at least they're gettingthemselves out of the shell and they dosomething but but seeing exact copiesit's just yourself yourself it's likehave you ever seen those live videoswhen they're sat there quietly for likeflipping five minutes I'm like I don'tlike it I just it's just great I'm likeI just talk shit for a bit I say topeople okay just talk shit wait topeople come on[Music]and that's not always like to ask myguess is if in 150 years time and youare no longer here but all that existsis a book and it's about your life andsomebody's walking past and they pick upthis book what would the blurb say andalso what would be the title of the bookwell already written it it's called mylittle spot on the globeit says embrace your struggle to findyour strength and pretty much what wetalked about today and and I it has asub heading saying unleash your lip in aspa and because we've all gotten in thispart and and what I mean by that it'snot a judgment thing on Spartans andwhile it's just the fact that you knowagainst the odds it's a metaphorit's against the odds they know they'regonna die but they're fighting all theycan yeah and that's the point at the endof the day we're all gonna freakin diebut let's just see what we can do youknow that's all we can do but you knowyou know the end of a that's why I don'tmind helping people as much as I canbecause that you know any bit of helpyou get out there is whatnice absolutely Granta our future looksalready out yes my little spy Amazonyeah best seller internationalbestseller there you go is it oh wowyeah i 100% put that in the bottom ofand the show notes as well alright it'sactually the first time somebody'salready answered my question and done myquestion but what I always like to askpeople is there is somewhere they cancontact you now I know you're doingamazing things all over the world innetworking marketing property you're anauthor as well there's one place and I'mjust gonna limit it to one but I willobviously add everything else afterwardswhat is the number one place that you'dprefer base for Facebook Facebook I'm 5mI'm maxed out sorry guys so just listenI've got another group page good MichaelV Calais Paris just a baby bear I'd bethere and start using it more nowbecause I'm that's my that's my ownthat's my professional page so just wantthem on to Michael V or try and messageme on on on my one at least and I'm nottry and connect and brilliantly it'sbeen a absolute pleasure like I said atthe beginning I reached out to you longtime we don't know yeah I love yourstory you know that this is fascinatingpromise there's live calls on them youall get busy I haven't managed toreconnect there so and thank you foryour time today you've been doingawesome things as well okay it's good tosee and again like you know we reach outto people that we connect with and likeand so on and you know obviouslyresponded back to you because I knowlike and trust okay you know it worksthe same way you know yeah that's how Isee it and and that's how that's howrelationships grow that's how investorsget involved that's how all this stuffhappens you know it's it's all aboutthat you know so absolutely absolutelyspinning it's been an absolute pleasureand well as well thanks for listeningand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa 5 star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode #10 - Building a business with your loved one - Manny & RasTagline: Good things happen to good people - A story by the Co-Founders of Build My Gift, Manny & Rashttps://www.arendeu/podcastDriven by a passion for business and making a difference in the gifting world, husband and wife co-founders Manny & Ras launched Build My Gift in 2017. Within this time they have been featured in Glamour, Bazaar, This Morning, GQ, Forbes, Metro, Brides and now Find Your Voice!In this episode we get a behind the scenes understanding of what it truly takes to build a business from scratch and hear about a few obstacles they have faced on the way.A raw and honest interview showcasing the highs and lows, which truly gives us all a great insight into the wonderful minds behind this key concept but also about what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur.Now with over 500 products, and an everlasting increasing product portfolio, they have mastered the art of controlling overwhelm with their intuitive website helping you make decisions to suit your loved ones.As the brand continues to grow and more wonderful memories continue to get shared with the Build My Gift experience, I urge to you follow their journey below.Plus with mothers day around the corner and many birthdays, weddings, celebrations and opportunities to just do something nice for someone, Build My Gift is the perfect place for you to get started.+ The founders have offered 10% off to all listeners if you simply enter the following code at the checkout: findyourvoiceSo what are you waiting for?https://www.buildmygift.com/Follow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/buildmygift/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/buildmygift/Twitter: https://twitter.com/buildmygift?lang=enWebsite: https://www.buildmygift.com/Don't forget the discount code! findyourvoice#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoiceTranscripts[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I'm extremelyexcited today because it's a milestonefor me it's my first ever power coupleand the beautiful thing about this pilecouple is not only are they businesspartners who have started thisincredible business from scratchthey're also married as well so it'sgonna be interesting to kind ofunderstand the dynamics of what whatit's like to obviously start your ownbusiness but to working with your otherhalf so I'm extremely excited to getthis going there are very very dearfriends of mine so for that reason itwas a no brainer to bring them on theshow and more importantly I've actuallyused their service I think it's aboutfive times now and I hope I've passed itover to my mom and I've also passed itover to my brother-in-law as well soit's something that I highly highlyhighly recommend and in relation totheir service it launched in 2017 you'veprobably heard the name I mean they havebeen featured on television and in somemajor pop up stores but I'm gonna leavethem to tell us all about that sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way okay brilliantokay so I am sitting here today with twoof my good friends and this interview isreally exciting for me because it's thefirst time I'm actually interviewing twopeople at once now the exciting thingabout this interview is that this is apower couple this is aboutentrepreneurship and it's also aboutbusiness but another exciting thing toadd to that is they're also a marriedcouple so it's gonna be reallyinteresting to see how this plays outand so I'd like to start by welcomingRuss and money to the showhow're you guys doing today yeah goodthank youthanks for having us you're very welcomevery welcome thank you for coming downso I think it's really importantobviously for the listeners of the showto kind of get an insight in relationabout you guys so we'll go with ladiesfirst rise if you could just tell us alittle bit about yourself and then afterthat if money you want to talk aboutyourself as well okay so I am co-founderof my gift and so we launched but mygift in 2017 but prior to that mybackground is working within HR so Iworked in London for several years for aluxury goods firm and then I moved upnorth and worked for the BBC as wellOh brilliant I'm you new University yeahso I I studied sociology at Universitythat was my BA I then went on to do mymasters in education policy at King'sCollege and then I did a second master'sin human resource management as wellfantastic yeah money about yourself yesso I went to university Aston Universitywhere as well we met yeah yeah feelslike a long time ago and then graduatedin 2010 and wasn't sure what path Iwanted to take and my family wasinvolved in family businesses and thingsI've always been involved in that so Inaturally took that path I felt like itwas the right thing to do and I've beeninvolved in that ever since I'm stillinvolved in that heavily and me and Rosshave known each other over eight yearsnow we got married in 2015 and yeah wedecided to take this chance with Bill mygift in 2017 and we haven't looked backreally okay thank plastic so it'sinteresting that obviously Rhys you knowjust collecting masters which isn'treally directly I suppose linked to kindof entrepreneurship and business whatmade you go into that was that kind ofManny's influence because obviously he'sfamily into business before or was itsomething that you've always wanted todo it isn't really at all I thinkworking within HR that's something thatI was really passionate about and Ireally did enjoy it was just really thewe stumbled across an idea that wethought there was a gap in the market wemulled over it for you know severmonths and then we decided to take theplunge and I suppose with hisentrepreneurial background we kind ofthought okay well we do have someexperience and some skills to bringforward and we can kind of merge the twoobviously with me working with withinthe luxury goods sector as well we couldkind of bring those together combined tonot block my gift brilliant okay so howdid the build my gift idea come aboutthen so advisers just touched on youlook at your skills and what you canboth bring to the table how did thisconcept come about because I want thelisteners to understand this I have usedthis so it's not something that I'm justsaying yes oh good yeah gift it makes mylife so much easier yeah because when itcomes to giving gifts for loved ones andstuff it's literally if it's for you foryour parents or you you're at the heartand go and they just let all theseamazing wonderful things but again I'lllet you guys go into that yeah so howdid the idea come about I think that mycousin actually was in hospice talk thisis going back at the beginning of theyear we launched and and we were mullingover you know what's what's a good giftto give her you know flowers and thingsand so standard these days and the sameold thing and a lot of hospitalsactually don't even allow him and wewere thinking and rats was thinking youknow wouldn't it be nice if I could justget a few things from different placesand put a gift together and build a nicebox for her and but it would just takeme forever and I was like that'll takeyou for a ages and hey who's got time toshop around and to do the research tofind a box to wrap it up make it looknice and then send it that's it there'sso much effort and time and maybe youwill get the odd person who's willing todo that but 99% of people think you knowthat's a bit much and then we said youknow there's nothing out there that'slike that there's nothing out there thatactually fits that kind of gap in themarket that we're thinking and then wemodeled it over B research and researchand research you know it's important todo that and we've thought it over and weyou know the name was important and thewebsite and everything and so yeahthat's how it really came about that'sinteresting so that's your story behindit there I never actually knew that oneyeah one of the reasons I support isbecause I always support my friends andfamily's businesses as I always advocatepeople should do and it is a fantasticthing like I've used it once also thisis so easy this yearand then why did is a Tamil mom to doyeah so I'm trying to spread the weightbut I think that story's reallyimportant as wellyeah because I'm pretty certain there'sthere's listeners out there who have gotthat same predicament whether it'ssomebody in hospital or whether it'sjust that special occasion or somethingand you guys I mean through your websiteand stuff you just make life so mucheasier it's trying to bring peopletogether make relationships strongerbasically that's what you know thepremise of the business that's what it'sall about the foundation I've built mygift it's trying to keep peopleconnected and we've got orders coming infrom you know Australia to be deliveredin London from the UK to be delivered inNew York so it really is connectingpeople all around the world yeah becauseI think a big part of us as a couple andmaybe you know our culture in general isrelationships meet you know should bestrong Kingdom strong and and I alwaysbelieve that you know you might notalways see each other but if you messageeach other or send a gift you knowsomething between you have relationshipis so strong and that's the wholepremise like Russ said about don't mygift it's all about letting that personknow you thinking about them and youknow we make it easy you know it's it'sI don't want to obviously boast about isthat it wouldn't make it so easy and andyou know it's literally three steps andit's done so so he was the brains behindwas it I would say Russ to be honest Ihaven't heart you know Russ isdefinitely more creative yeah she shehas been the forefront of the businessand I still divide my time between thisbusiness and my family business okaywhich it means sometimes you know mybrain is a bit it's hard to juggle thetooth and whatnot but rath definitely issomeone who knows what she's doing whenit comes to business yeah fantastic okayso what I want to know then so I like tounderstand the life of an entrepreneurand successful people and like theirdaily habits because I'm just I'm justintrigued by that because I think as alisten if there's somebody out there whowants to perhaps become an entrepreneurdo something out of the norm I thinkhabits and discipline is reallyimportant at least for myself so what'sa dayin BMG no my gift for you both from themoment you wake up oh there's no anotherthing any entrepreneur will say there'sno day is the same really and it couldbe kind of you know one of our peakoccasions so Christmas Valentine'sMother's Day and all we'll be doing isorders preparation of orders to getthose out you know there might be otherthings such as top management we may beout and we may have a day full ofmeetings so business development youknow networking opportunities it reallyreally does vary day to day to be honestin value and you split your time are youdoing two separate things or are youkind of working together on those tasksthat you mentioned that we do worktogether so if we if we have you knowfocusing on business development for aday we'll always try and set aside atleast a day a week or a day fortnightwhere we are going to take you know taketime out of the business to go out andabout and meet people say potentialcustomers potential corporate clientsthings like that really and alsopotential suppliers too but again youknow if it's orders we take time when wework together to ensure that thoseorders are fulfilled and we get thoseout then time what we tend to do is thenight before every single night beforethe next day we'll make a list pretty ofwhat we're going to do the next day Russis kind of the king the king of aboutjobs and I'd like to do that I think webeat one thing that's very similar aboutus is we'd like to take off listen welike to cross things off you know thelonger the list the more you think thatmorning actually this is what we've gothead this day organizedyou know if it's a meeting that day wewill be you know make sure that we takea laptop and that we if we're going on atrain we go Wi-Fi and we're stillemailing constantly got to be you've gotto be available for customers forsuppliers for potential clients as wellcorporate clients are always on the goyou know we're always available on thephone or an email as well whether youknow we're gonna meet teens or whatnotfor their yeah I think that's a reallyimportant point because that risetouched on being an entrepreneurnowadays the same mm-my probably worsttrait is that I find myself firefight inevery day so the day kind of dictates mehmm it doesn't happen all the time whenI'm disciplined and I've got my routineI kind of do what you guys do I'm infull flow and I enjoy it so that'ssomething I'd recommend to listenersjust plan your day before because whathappens is you wake up you pick up yourphone you look at your Facebook and youremails and all of a sudden you'reresponding to the world as opposed to dowhat you need to do in order to moveforward so that's really interestingjust on that then so I know this I knowthe answer but just for the listenerscould you just then maybe tell us someof the clients that you work withbecause I've seen some big names andyou've done some amazing things andwe're really fortunate and lucky to beworking with some great corporateclients out there at the moment and morerecently we've just secured anopportunity with Adobe so one of thebiggest tech firms in the world reallyso we're really excited at theopportunity to be working for themanother kind of couple of clients we'vegot a courier and logistics firm that wework with so and BJ's home delivery wework with a local business in Cheshirewe're web-based to flow create and weare also working with the DorchesterHotel in London - wow that's fantasticand you've also been in shops as wellyeah so we did a pop-up store overChristmas in Topshop and Oxford HighStreet I can ask that yeah holidays andI mean it was a it was a massive massivething for us you know it was theflagship store and we couldn't have beenin a more centralized position in thewhole world essentially comes to lookgreatas far dessert and we were you know wewere stretched I'm be honest respectinand a whole operation to London but itwas it was a massive thing so it's ahuge kudos to a company to be thereabsolutely yeah and you just said you afirefighter I suppose sometimes that'show you learn yeah and obviously nexttime you're better equipped yeah I'myour person no that's fantasticokay so we've touched on just a coupleof ups and downs there as with anentrepreneur it's a life of ups anddowns for anyone that tells youdifferent they're lying at least that'smy opinion yeah definitely yeah what'sbeen the main obstacle and sincestarting your journey in build my giftand how did you overcome this well lastyear we featured for the first time onTV this morning which is a massive thingbut you don't realize how much differentit actually happens to you when ithappened we were like okay this is bigyeah you know are we you use this andlytx tool that tells you how manyvisitors you have on the site and andyou were used to usually seeing maybedouble figures maximum is going totriple figures and I was flying thisflying this is at one time you knowvisitors to the site at a time and itwas flying to the extent where the sitecrashed and you know okay that's onething but a number of orders came in nothundreds of orders that come in and wewere like okay this is amazing you knowwe made it this is amazing but then yousuddenly realize well we've got tofulfill these orders and Mother's Day isaround the corner Mother's Day I thinkthey add right on the Wednesday andMother's Day was on the Sunday bearingin mind Saturday delivery isn't reallyan optionmm-hmm unless people have paid extra Iwas eating into your you know you wouldgive profits really so you knowoperationalize it was a very bigchallenge you know at the time that wasjust the two of us we had family supportbut you know family will always supportyou but they'll never know the businesslike you do boss of course um so yeahalthough it was an obstacle I think itwas a great opportunity as well but areally good learning curve I didn'tanticipate the demand and it was it wasgreat you can never know that demandyou know anyone unless they've been inthat world that before they will neverknow of course what will happen and ourbusiness although it's make it simpleit's easy we put a lot of effort intoeach gift we want it to look nice wewant it to be special when that personopens it so you know when you've gothundreds of orders to do it's difficultto achieveyou know you've got to find a balancebasically and it was I mean we we did itup until about 5:00 a.m. that my twohours and we're up at 7:00 a.m. yougotta work with over there yeah yeah youknow recommendation and loyalty andreviews of massive businesses like anye-commerce business and and for us youknow you've got to make sure you do itrightfantastic and I can't promise you thesame recognition as this morning fromthis podcast just to get at least fivesix whatever it is because I'm veryconfident that whoever does buysomething from yourselves similar tomyself don't be a repeat customer yeah Imean when I signed six months agodone it like three or four times yeahand it like I said it's so much easierthan googling around and then trying tofit something from Amazon there'ssomething from eBay or whatever it isso yeah you know I would say you know atleast one in ten customers is a repeatguys taking time to really make surethat you think about how you present itbecause it's presented a nice anddefinitely all packaged in thereeverything yes I'm fantastic good stuffokay so what's the best thing aboutowning your own business I think theflexibility to make decisions your wayultimately if you're employed bysomebody else you have a manager who youneed to maybe cross-reference somethingwith and the final decision on certaincertain matters will be made by theirmore people more senior to you and soreally all of the decisions in ourbusiness are made by us so having thatfreedom to do that really it's quitenice would you agree money I think yeahdefinitely I think another thing that Ilove about this business is the factthat you meet new people you know you'remeeting people you're growing yournetworkbefore we started this journey I do feelas that as much as you know peopleyou're very close as a person you youonly want to know people who you kind ofbump into already in life and whatnotyou're not going you're not puttingyourself out there you're not really youknow attending events and parties thatwe are now you know you don't knowyou're not really experiencing that sideof life and then now we do we putourselves out there we attend awardshows we attend networking events weattend meeting after meeting withmassive corporate people who we neverwould have met before and you know Isometimes that can pitch myself andthink well you know we're just in theDorchester Hotel absolutely meeting youknow they're client services directorand when when would we ever I was justtalking to her about cricket you know itkind of opens a whole new world for youand which is only become possiblebecause of this business and the hardwork you guys have wait that's rightyeah and the worst thing about owningyour own business so you're not going toknow everything about running thebusiness I suppose and it's always goingto be bookkeeping that's the worst thingyou know paperwork and the admin side ofthings and that can be quite heavy andyou want to be focused on doing all thecreative fun elements of the businessbut you also have to keep those gaps youdo the basics as wellI can't think actually what what elsewould I would say sometimes I do thinkthat you know with us being married mmmthe business has taken over a lot of ourconversation a lot of recipes you knowpressing and everything in our livesbecause it's just that it's a massivepart of us sometimes I don't know Russsometimes feels this as well as that youknow has it almost become as if you knowour business has become us and we'velost each you know as a couple who wework for that it kind of it's hard toremember a time before the businessalthough we haven't you know it's onlybeen two years or so but it's hard toremember a time when it was just me andher and I understand that yeah Iunderstand that for a simple fact thatI've obviously try to juggle multiplebusinesses myself yeah my wife worksfull-time and then she's coming home toanotherfor business and literally we don't seeeach other as we're in the same housebut and if we do see each other in factit's probably from our peripheral visionbecause we're like this yeah and Iforward and we're just way it happensthey're working that we're on where theysaid that and today actually it's thefirst time we're going for a meal andI'm actually really looking forward toit because similar to what you just saidthere I was like cher like we haven'tspoke about life we're just us oranything you don't want it you don'twant to forget that yeah and this was upto you I was gonna ask you guys so I canimagine it is brilliant because yourbest mates you're married and you you'reon this vision and you creating thisamazing business but then you are gonnahave that aspect of the whole you mustdo bicker do you have I think you knowas any relationship you will always haveyour little bickering moments but Ithink when it comes to the business wealways put those aside no matter whatbecause we share that common goal andwe're so motivated and determined tomake that success so you know we mayhave had a small little petty argumentover something but when it comes to thebusiness we move on I think the businesshelps and hinders and those things thatit helps in the sense that and sometimeslibrary said if you've got it you knowany any couple could sometimes have aminor minor it should be deter but ifyou've got a common goal that commonlove which is the business you puteverything aside for the business andyou know you get over something egoasari quick so listen what moves thisbusiness for exactly exactly and yougotta think you could have been matureand you've got to think you know forgetyeah you know forget that my food wascalm and but you know similarly becausewe are working together in a business24/7 you spend so much time with eachother you talk constantly even whenyou're not with each other we're textingabout the business or not it can lead tosometimes you know you know minordisagreements the wrath sometimes hasher opinion on something sometimes Ihave my opinion on how we should dosomething and you are gonna have thatkind of election that's inevitable Iknow two people who work in a businesswho aren't married are gonna have thatsame issues absolutely absolutely soyeah yeahyou know each of this opinion andactually then finding a middle groundbut the fact that we're married allowsus to kind of be honest you know ifyou're if you're doing if you're runninga business with somebody that you don'tknow so well or as a friendit's can be awkward how about you sagehave that conversation or be honest asthey'd like I don't like your idea youknow I don't think you do the rightthing here but with me and Rass you knowwe've known each other for so long voiceof course you can be so honest I'll sayexactly - yeah and that she dances ahthat's good but you know that you youknow you have that kind of love for thatperson that you accept what they saysometimes you know you might take a bitbut then it's fine because you'remarried in this you know it's this nomore so and at the end of the day andthe key thing is you both want eachother to win that's right and you bothwant to win and I I did that sigh youknow I've had to put my ego aside andstuff as occurs sometimes you wanna winthe argument and I was immature back inthe down I was always trying to win theargument where is now it's like if I winthe argument and upset my wife then whoreally wins here like anything we bothrelease so now it's like actually I wantthat person to win so let's just look atit rationally hmm and then what musesFalls so yeah exactly exactly a nothingvery mature yeah yeah I love itokay so one piece of advice that youcould give to somebody now who's maybethinking you know I'm in a nine-to-fivesimilar to how you guys could have beendenied two fives coming out ofuniversity raspberry they're ten mastersso you think in I'm gonna just jump intoa job what advice would you give themjust one piece of advice in terms ofgoing into entrepreneurship I would saymake sure you know exactly your industrythat you're going into research your lotyeah your market your competitors whatyou're offering you know make sure it'sit's something that you know thatindustry inside out because if you takea risk and you go for something likethat and you know you kind of fall shorta little bit you know your firstimpressions everything to people if youdon't get your website up to scratch andif it is an e-commerce business forexample or if you don't know what you'redoing is in meetings and things and youkind of you leave a lasting impressionyour first impression is important he'llbe spend a lot of time perfecting ourprocess our offering as a product thebrands that we work with and the websitetweaking and tweaking we delayed ourlaunch and we delayed and delay thepeople who like what you're doing you'regonna miss Christmas you know whatyou're doing and but we were like it'simportant that the website is top-notchbecause if it's not people will rememberand then work on that of course you'vegot premium products yeah exactly yeah Imean our business is all about you knowpremium and while known brands and ifyou want to work alongside those brandsand you want to come across like thatyou need to make sure there is noamateur and nothing is along the chainbecause that's your market audience yesI would say that personally mm-hmmya know 100 percent I mean although wehad the initial concept I'd say at thestart of 2017it was researching that and then youknow going into launch so it was a lotof back-and-forth a lot of perfectingand getting things right and we didn'tget it perfect even then you know andyes you may launch a business and thingactually yes this is great but it'staking on board feedback from customersfrom the people around you your networkand and continuously improving on thatas well I agree I love the word perfectexists in terms of like business or no Iever you do because there's alwayssomething and we are our own biggestcritics as well ya know something andwhat we always try and do is the bestthat we can do in that momentya know in hindsight we let this historyyou know I lost can't be my time that Isaid oh I wish I'd said that yeah surethan that and we even on the way heresaid let's make a few notes because Idon't want to leave this podcast andthink oh you know what I could havegiven this advice I think you won'tforget happens in the time you haveforget to ask you something yeah but iswhat it is but hopefully after thisyou'll get people reaching out to youguyssliding into DMS and then moreimportantly easing bill my gift so yeahdefinitely you'll be fine okay so what'syour motivation then moving forward nowto the end of this year what one thingwould you like to happenthey really grow the corporate side ofthe business and when we first launchedbill my gifts it was focused on the BTCmarket and that's the online platformthat we had but you know BTC for thelisteners join expand on that sorry yesmr. consumer market side of the businessso and we had the online platform ofcourse but for us you know we really dosee there is potential and opportunityfor the corporate side of our businessand to continue growing and building onthat is really really important for us Ithink oh yeah yeah definitely I think wesee a lot of potential with corporateand weddings I don't know if you'venoticed we've started working with moreand more businesses like you said andand wedding planners and things likethat and when we first launched thebusiness we didn't have any idea aboutthis thing you know we we felt like itwas an opportunity said we needed a giftthat we wanted to give someone and wejust thought I wouldn't be nice for aneveryday person to have to access thisand no idea that you know this this kindof a kind of model would work forbusinesses it would work for events andwork for wedding for couples all sortsof things and as you go along you learnmore and more and we've really grownthat side of the business especiallyback end of last year and the beginningof this year I mean we've really pushedon and I know twelve months from nowwe'll be like well last year we reallyyeah and you're probably over anotheropportunity were you thinking yeah wenever thought this exactly yeah andthat's the beautiful thingyes games and and it gives you it givesyou a lot of hope and it gives you a lotof confidence that yeah you know thisbusiness model has a lot of avenues topursue and you know we're not done yeahabsolutely just to start yeah exactlyfantastic okayokay fantastic so you've heard thebuzzer go off now so now we're at thefun part of the show and again I'venever done this before with twodifferent people so I'm gonna do is I'mgonna put rather money through theirpaces for 60 seconds asking them themost random questions okay and in truefamily fortune style you can't repeatthe same answer advice okay money yepcool I'm gonna start with you Rezawe're gonna go in three two one romanceor comedy romance comedy Italian orChinese Italian I hate Chinesefavourite place you've been togetherrube oh yeahcinema or bowling both the ability tofly or be invisible invisible beinvisiblewhat is your partner's best trait I loveno he's really good-hearted I thinkthinks about everybody a little bit whenyou're fame fame has never interested meguess money no money what is yourbiggest addiction success that PixarYouTube Netflix Snickers or Marsneither favorite TV show there's a showthat Love Actually is so it's actuallyreally rubbish but I love it it's calledPeep ShowEcore languages will be able to speak toanimals speak all languages episode yourbiggest fear failure your biggestinspiration I always am massivelyinspired I think we both are by you knowto name an entrepreneur expose you sothere's a stationary brand SwedishSwedish station on Van kekeke a said theowner of that I think she's massivelyinspirational we've been listening toher podcast as wellyou should get yourself on there as wellabsolutely and your favorite BMG gift Ipersonally like the kind of the cocktailsets okay yeah I think they look reallynice and they're quite cool for anyonewho's into you know hosting parties andthings like that could be yoursbottle of champagne nice and if you cansit with one person in the world for anhour who would it beMichelle Obama Will Smith would yourather know how you would die or whenyou will die when if you could abolishone thing in the world what would it begreed I think and kind of selfishnessexpectation what is your favorite songever Beyonce and jay-z crazy alone ohyeah so one song naturally yeah I listento for motivation miscible random it's57th from his film get rich or dietrying' I just think it's verymotivationalis it the gym that I use it I getgenerally if you're feeling a bit it'slumpy that day I guess you guys lumpyyeah finallywould you rather read minds or predictthe future and yeah read more deep voiceyeah okay brilliant how'd you find outkind of questions that you you think ohI know then I would know it it comesdown to it absolutely so you mentionedbriefly in these questions that we justhad the cocktail set could you elaboratemaybe on your sets or the kind of giftsthat people could go onto your websitefind and then give to their loved onesyeah so I am I suppose it's really forany occasions and whether it's abirthday gave to get well soon gift andyou home gift and you baby gift maybethe list goes on so any occasion we'vepretty much got it covered and at themoment we have more than 500 productsthat you can go on and select and buildher own gifts we also have a prebuiltgift section so if you want it to beeven more easier than it already is youcan literally select one of ourpre-built gifts and check out fantasticanything time I mean yeah I mean like Isaid we've got massive array of productsbut we're always looking to expand we'realways looking to you know what's onetrend what's cool what can fit fordifferent types of people for differenttypes of budget for different types ofoccasions and you know that's that's thebeauty of Bill my gift there's this veryrare that you can find everything all inone place and um you know you you couldshop for your mom's 50th but at the sametime you'reneighbors had a new baby then you canbuy the both gifts at the same time allin the same place but then within fiveminutes you know and it's really simplewe've got a massive range of productsthat help stores every occasion so yeahI mean like russ explained I thinkthat's I think that's everything yeahthere you go so it's like kind of like aone-stop shop one-stop shop yeah I justwant to touch on something that youmentioned there is all you've got 500products and you're also openpotentially to other products as wellyes and we're always growing our productportfolio always looking to take on newbrands again as we've been to 2019 we'veyou know been in touch with several newbrands and we're going to be taking themon board and introducing them to thesites they're always open to newfantastic so if anyone's out there witha product or something as well maybe getin touch with it's definitely definitelywe always were always approached by byyou know companies as members who haveproducts and we are very open and we'renot dismissive we will always at leastgive it a chance to look at it and readup on it and if we fill is somethingthat adds value to our business and toour you know offering as a gift box thendefinitely we'll look into it reallyyeah like Russ said we've taken on Ithink two or three new brands in 2019it's all about staying fresh and yeahabsolutely yeah no no it's reallyinspiring and just all concept obvi Imean we started the interview and youspoke initially about the story behindit and how you were saying how difficultit's gonna be to get a couple of giftstogether like a hamper set that's rightget it all coordinated here you are nowwith 500 products I just find thatreally yeah yes very passionately Ithink sometimes we're we're so here andnow and we don't think you know theachievement to get here yeah absolutelythat's my only lunch produced right yeahbecause we're always seeking what's nextthat's where I forget yet we're alwayswe're so used to seeing most productsthat they're that we don't even thinkjust look back and think look at allthat how we got I remember your firstsnapchat summit yeah yeah yeah you guysyeah you know at the beginning of myremember what we what was our first Ithink we used to have supplies that nowwhy why did we even have those things atleast that got us through the door youknow and we're lucky I mean I'm verylucky that I you know through our familybusinesses I've connection for somewholesalers who then allowed us theopportunity to kind of get stock inAndrus has a connection with luxurycompanies and from her previous jobswhich have allowed his connections thereso it is really about making use of yourcontacts absolutely and then growingyour network in absolutely ivory yournet worth is based on your networkthat's right and sometimes we fail toactually tap into our own network mm-hmmand even myself so from propertyperspective I didn't realize how manyplumbers I knew how many conveyance isthat I knew like brokers all within likemy family it was only when you startcoming out and you saying I'll do thisand then people start reaching out toyou so I'd always implore people likethere to kind of firstly understand yournetwork and then your networks then workbecause that's where the magic isdefinitely yeah actually really justbefore we get to the final question andthat always I tasked my guess is aboutreflection so if you guys could go backmaybe to when you first I'd bill my giftand that first idea came and you knowingeverything you don't know what one pieceof advice would you whisper in the earsof yourselves I think be more bold andjust put yourself out there I love thatyeah again like I said you know you goto events and things in at the beginningwe were maybe bit hesitant engagement ofpeople and build your network and but werealized as time goes on that is soimportant to do those things and so Iwould definitely say that as well yeahfantasticbrilliant so sadly work the lastquestion now of the interview so yeah ifFinn hundred fifty years time sciencefails to save us and all that's left isa book and it's about your life and itexplains to your journey a little bitabout you basically your inspiring storywhat would the title be and what wouldbe blown say to make somebody want topick it up and read itso we did give this a little bit thoughtand so I think it would be good thingshappen to good peoplehmm I think I was I would like it to sayI think I've always been somebody wholikes to see the good in everything anddo good by people and so I'd like to beremembered for that as well love thatokay I'm not gonna put you on the spotif you both had that together would youagree is that kind of where you you'dwant to be remember yeah definitely Ithink you know there's there's anentrepreneurship but there's also youknow your life and in life we both tryto be good people we try to do right byour family and everyone around us and itis difficult sometimes to balanceeverything you know you want to beselfish sometimes and think aboutyourself and think about your businessbut you have to think about everythingyou know the grand scheme of thingsand balance everything and do the rightthing which I think we both do I thinkwe agree we always think you know otherrepercussions to this you know should wedo this should we do that and I think ifin 20 years time 100 years time like andwe used to look back and people wouldsay you know what they made the rightdecision by everybody they didn't justthink about themselves and this door wassuccessful diversity a lot of storiesthey're successful but they've had tomake a lot of enemies along the way youknow they've had to be very selfish andI'd like to think that we weren't thosepeople we look good people you arefantastic so before I close this showwhat I want to do is give you anopportunity to connect with thelisteners of the show and vice versa sowhat's the best places that listenerscan reach out to yourselvesis it your personal profiles is it buildmy gift yes so I think people can get intouch with us by visiting the websitethere's a contact us form they can reachout to us by Instagram so it's app buildmy gift - mm-hmm and the website is it'swwl my gift calm dusty yeah we have likea live chat facility on the website aswell if anyone wants to you know get aquicker answer I'll be more than likelyto respond quickest on there like Russsaid our Instagram is I'll probably abigger social handle yeah we alsorespond by our Facebook and Twitter butin surroundings our biggest thing so ifanyone wants to get in touch this appbill my gift fantastic and you've alsogot all loads of black amazing forwardsinstagramers oh yeah I mean everything'severything you know a to Zed if you wanta quick snapshot on the company justvisit hit our Instagram and you can seewe're very very much a visual companyand Instagram is a big driver for usyeah fantastic so we're at the end ofthe show and this has been it's beenexciting for me it's a it's good to seeyou guys I'm very proud of how far youguys have come thank you in thisbusiness it's it's inspiring hearinglike the ins and outs of it as well Idefinitely urge my listeners just checkit out on Instagram go on the websitebecause you just find that yourself justadding all these wonderful things whichis lived--and I'm excited now you've gotmore products as well so again it'ssomething that I use I got it I've gotphotos of it I've got proof in case ohyeah this isn't the Hat absolutely yeahreally it's something that I I believein if I didn't believe in it I wouldn'tI wouldn't send it out there getobviously then my reputation is on theline as are so it's a fantastic thingthank you guysonce again thank you for having us likesharing my story about you sharing yourstory sorry but hopefully you know yourlisteners you know can resonate withwhat we've been through and what whichI'm sure they will absolutely because Ithink we're all going to be that kind ofthing in there in our daily strugglesand life and stuff and you knowinstagrams a different thing because youonly see the highlights that's rightwe look to hear you guys kind of justtell us a little bit about what yeah shegoes on yeah behind closed doors sothank you once again and forever and awhole thanks for listening thank you andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we asked in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 9 -"We came with a suitcase & a dream" - TTagline: "We came with a suitcase & a dream"Uplifted from Zimbabwe T and his family chased the American Dream for a better future.T puts this perfectly when he explains the silent example he learnt from his parents to be a driving force in his life - hard work. Coming from extremely humble beginnings T knew his best chance at changing his own future and that of his families would be to work harder than those around him.Unable to speak english and ridiculed early on by children and undervalued by teachers T began to embrace hard work and the struggle finding true beauty in outworking those around him.Now a successful social worker, bodybuilder and an all round great guy T's future is brighter than ever as he seeks to help inspire others and teach them to never let anyone elses opinions dictate their ceilings of success and to always embrace hard work.T also speaks of the oppresive lifestyle he was part of growing up and the struggles of learning a new culture, language and fitting into society. However having studied closely with T for 2 years there are very few more genuine souls I have come across.I urge you all to support and follow his journey...Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Snapchat: CatchafreemanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion4lifting/Transcript:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the showso today's guest is somebody who I metabout four years ago on my social weightjourney so yesprior to me starting property businessand coaching I was actually a socialworker for a very very short amount oftime but about two weeks ago t reachedout again and he was commenting on oneof my earlier episodes and how he foundit very inspiring and then he asked ifhe could be on the show of course wasthe answer but I was intrigued becauseknowing T at university during our twoyears studying a masters he was alwaysthe one in the class that would makepeople smile he was always smiling yetsomewhere deep down I knew there wassome element of struggle some level ofadversity that he had been through butyou could never guess what it wasbecause like I said he was always theone that would make all our classmatessmile he was always easy come easy gohe's really getting stressed and he wasjust a pleasure to be aroundso when he offered to share his story Iwas intrigued because I knew there wasgonna be something that was going to beinspiring and motivating and he didn'tdisappointthis episode was fantastic one because Igot to see my good friend again but twobecause I realized how lucky andfortunate I am and probably many of youlisteners are too so I think it'simportant we jump straight into thisepisode and listen to what he has to sayand really understand that sometimes thegrass isn't always greener on the othersideand that we do actually have anunbelievable amount of things to begrateful forokay so I'm sitting here now with mygood friend T so if you could explainactually firstly how you doing not seembad might not see where I'm glad to behere goodness doesn't he answer that Icompletely forgot to ask him how he wasso I think it's important for thelisteners to you understand a little bitabout your journey and how you progressthrough life so if you could just startfrom I suppose your first memory I kindof let us know the life of T of Katonahokay that's all right mrs. IND thinkingme you know I don't usually speak I'mnot so good at speaking but I know theend of this if I can inspire this oneperson great that's my job here done andI come from very very very humblebeginnings well I say that I'm still I'mstill here humble beginnings now I'm notmade it yet but we are making progressmy parents my mom moved here in 2003beans involved in bad way yes yes andyou know we came here okay with asuitcase and a dream it was a case ofthe economy was on see a great overthere so before you know I yeah what'sthe next big thing and you know this wasthis was their two children at the timeand like most people I found out foundout that working hard was the way totheir you know American dream so tospeak yeah yeah anyone can sayabsolutely um you know the first lessonsthat I want C to share with you guyssome of the islands from a parentshadn't moved here is that you knowyou've gotta work hard you have to workcuz I grew up in a house where you knowI was watching my parents work day inday our worst and continue to work hardday and night to make sure that me andmy sister would not go with the help youknow they were breaking their backs andfreed out I said I had a front row seatin learning you know a hard work I waslike takes yeah you know start from thebottomremember back home there had reallyprestigious jobs but the KVN had tostart from the bottom literally start atthe foundation level okay okay so can Ijust jump in there so yeah back home youhad prestigious jobs was it still notenough in order to fulfill the dreamsthat they had I'm glad to think thatthey probably did it with us in mindokay because the way that the fins wouldgo in I reckon if they continued workingthings would have been okay for them butthen by the time you came to us growingup and working things might not be sogood for us you know something they hadus in mind to build our futures becausewe were gonna have better opportunitiesthat make sense here and you know somepeople choose that's why you see there'sso many people now I'll try that riskingtheir lives day in day out trying to getto the UK or you know these thedifferent countries in the West cuzopportunities are there that's been athome yeah we don't know how lucky we aresometimes we don't and we take thingsfor granted even take things for grantedso it's so easy wake up sahaja lotta Gbut there's someone diapers opportunitythat we wake up every day as well youknow wake up every day dream someone'sdying for this you know yeah we're moreabout our jobs and what we spoke aboutis actually yeah and it's that thing ofwe take things for granted man you knowanyway I digressI'm saying I had a front-row seatwatching what it really takes to be ableto drive but you want an understandingfundamental that in this country you cangive anything you wanted if and only ifyou're willing to make the sacrificesand pull your socks up like I saidpeople are risking their lives trying tosneak and use the abundance ofopportunities that were presented withso the lesson I want to convey to youguys today is that there's nothing morepowerful than that Silas example and forme that sounds example was my parentsthey never told me that you know when wecame here absolutely this is whatyesterday we were just watching yeah Ijust had to watch all thinking okay youknow yeah weekend that is working in mymom is working you know we're justwatching that work as powerfulthere's a quote and I think it saysdon't listen to what they say watch whatthey do and that's what it is and that'swith anything in mind because you get alot of people are just talking the talkand stuffsounds great we really if it soundsbefore the action yeah it's the actionthey can talk it you know gay men butwhen it comes to doing it's a differentstory and for me from that is where Ilearned that parents as parents and myparents yeah but as parents be afraid tolet your kids watch you fail or watchyou start from the bottom and watch yousweat cause we taking inspiration comesevery day we learn Oh strong strong workethic I think that's I think that's apowerful lesson because one of them likeI said to a lot of people my superpowerI believe everyone's got a super fine Iuse that as an analogy or metaphor is Ijust work hard that's itI don't have anything else good I'm notnaturally more talented at somethingelse but I will most likely I work mostpeople because I've seen my mom do itI've seen her with 90 hours a week whenwe were growing up I used to see heraround I'm thinking where's momand it should come from breakage thatgetting changed into our next - she'sback after work yeah and I'm not talkingabout later I'm talking Saturday SundayI'm talking in the six weeks holidays Ithink that's really important I think weshould set an example of the real lifeand not trying to hide things for mykids that's it in order to try andprotect them because actually you couldactually giving them a good thingthere's no such thing as an overnightsensation no such being people you haveto work you know some people are luckyenough to be born in rich families andwhatnot but majority of us we have towork her way upmm-hmm and for me I'd like to say that'sprobably one of the best solid examplesof my life and that's made me who I amtoday because it's me you know yeah I'mnot gonna be product of my circumstancesand I'm gonna be so the master of mydestiny I'm saying that now but backthen it was not like that in the sensorfor example you know when I first camehere I came when I was about 10 yearsold started in year six I'm going toschool not knowing English that wellbecause English is the second languageokay but we do not have to speak it atmuch because we don't need sing ofcourse you know we just have good lessonEnglish enoughso came here and yes 6 min imagine youknow trying to learn English we werepretty much I remember going to schooland those big clumps of bacon and thenthe cheap of the cheaper version is thecheap version because it's not littlethin slices we employ us how would youwant that was a big chunk you say seelaughter retired my gosh but it'sbrilliant because again this is what itwas my character the clumps of bacon youknow wake up in the morning she madebacktry as possible wait you could imagineit was not easy trying sliced bacon asyou put it on that sound good share I'llget to school so I said I do not knowsome of the things that were deemed tobe normal in this country sometimesfrowned uponyeah so break time think I'm a baconsandwich you know remember I rememberhim to Clete onto the bread so hard toprevent the whole me good biteyou know yeah I remember sometimes we'dhave pizza it would have Pete certainlyand I'll bring they left all this nicebox at my Lodge for school Broco Pizzahe and I did not know that this was notthe into the normal button but you knowit was tough for my sisters there shewas younger she started by ryaba starsquare one she couldn't speak that couldbe English as well so we kind of justhave each other have to try and you knowI remember sister go home she'll betrying to read a book to try and learnyou know English I should be holdingthat book upside down you know you juststart I would love a cokebacon sandwich for those kids don'tlisten Island kids kids are cruel yeahyou know meals kids are cruel that's whythere's so much bullying in school rightnow it's only now right now oh no waitif I have to you know go to work withthis is all right this is okay cuz now Idon't put down anyone's approval I'm inthat stage now where certain people'sopinion if it's not constructive itdoesn't bother memoving on then we went to secondaryschool obviously were picking up Englishyou know it's improving improving thelanguage just getting back there so weget to school yeah do the sets in younine I did okay consideringyeah ten will do GCSEs okay no yes Iwill do you mock GCSE means encore theseare marks and - seriouslyBastille did well in them then Iremember there was one Paris eveninggoes one parents evening news in theirparents evening actually my parents werecold from school and the teacher saidcan you kiss community discussion yourson is underachievementright okay like I told your son ispredicted to come by the end of GCSE isto come out with four C's with thiscoming from you know I'm doing well inessence I'm always you know and canimagine you know in my house we'd sayeducation very seriously and it's notjust my house is probably across themost African families most Africancountries cause in Africa education isnot free you know here privilege is aprivilege is a privilege that manycannot afford I rememberat home kids will be sent out fromclassical definitely see theHeadmaster's office or go home if you'venot paid the school fees cause somepeople simply couldn't afford so youcoverton so imagine you come into thiscountry metal education is free andyou're messing about yeah you're nottaking advantage of the opportunity thatis presented to you witness others athome or dying for this opportunity andwhen if they are to get it they wouldflourish in you know you know can weimagine they were really disappointeddo not happy it was a case right you'remixing about you don't take a schooleducation seriously from now on there'llbe no going out no playing out if youwere to play outside you know I wasacting all playing out during the weekanyway I was very impressive on theweekendsI was allowed out on mainly just theSaturday if his Sunday so a couple ofhouse I was allowed on Saturday butbefore I did that I had to do you knowthose PGCC books yeah I had to docertain number of pages of them before Icould go out and I had to get it rightand I used to think why they doing thisto me why me you know all my friends athelp then when I did go out I don't haveto care if you have to be 4i either sixor seven even some other stars blazinghot at 7:00 p.m. you have to be able toseven I don't think it's himself why arethey doing this to me why me you know Iused to moan about it wasn't impressedbut then it's funny now when I go backbecause obviously at that age you knowmore than your parents don't you anotherthing that you know yeah but what I dothere now and the kind of people thatwere staying out so midnight what theywere doing to midnight I'm not comparingmyself to them I'm just saying I'm gladthat my parents did that I'm glad thatthey did that for me becauseso for me as well if I was one of themkids someone invited prison some of themare just doing all kinds of business youknow anyway absolutely predictions Ithink that is an important point thoughthat we should stress because I was thesame so I went to tip it up which iswhere you live now I think I still livethere and I had like best friends andyou think you never gonna get friendsbetter than this and I want to go toThibodeau comp and at that time I wasdoing well academically so my parentswere like okay we're gonna send you togrammar school the helis grammar schoolthen I found out he was all-boys schoolbut that way he's going through pubertyexciting to find the opposite sexattractive and I was like here I go toan all-boys school and I went and Iresented it I resented the decision forages I'm gonna hate it but in hindsightsimilarly yourself now that got me intoa very good university even what mygrades weren't great because I had thatmy CV it also taught me a lot about howyou should conduct yourself in certainsituations not all of it was positivebut also been there I've got some of mybest friends and I'm talking aboutfriends you on the right side of the lawokay when I look back at if I'd runtv.com and I look at my friends therethere were stabbings there was prisonthere was drugs with the community thatI grew up with so I don't know would Ihave been brave enough with and steppingaway from friends who have grown up withor what I've just got involved in that Idon't know we'll never know but I'm kindof grateful that I went my way and lifehas brought me here so yeah Paris Ithink they always try to do the bestthat they know but at that time youdon't see oh man angry I mean they nevereven played football there and as a kidI was like a hotshot footballerapparently and I've got to defeat everyall my dreams I'm kind of crushed inthat moment yeah but then also somewonderful thing and now I kind of thinkyou know what actually my life isn't toobad and I suppose it's perspective andit's a age and as you grow you can youcan spin anything I suppose in a goodway that's and yeah sorry continuewell in that sense I think it man soclose so close you know we are ta 11 wedo GCSEs I come out with two A's B's andC's yeah I don't know how much that Ihad to do with all the extra homeworkthat I had to do because of that meetingbeing cold but I saw so smug towards myteachers thinking oh okay there's yourfour C's you know we came from Revere ohyeah yeah you know that figure ofputting their limitations orexpectations on me you know not pickingI love me yes okay great this was it forme I think actually today today bestachievement I worked hard for thatplease repeat in a school of how manypeople to be the top and you know beanother one from where you start exactlythat's the thing as well Stan journeyknowing you know came here barely beingable to speak a word of English and nowhere I am being told you're the examplestudent you know that was big for me andthat's why to this day is still one ofour biggest achievementsthat we call to college to a-levelsdoing a-levels breaking those I don'tknow teacher see you because doing thehub behaves on son who's come a bit of ajoker yeah sometimes I like to say ajoke sometimes might be inappropriatetimes when I like to crack a joke aboutthis has been interviews where they'regoing to just cracking jokes yeahprobably cause ya know the swamp andsemen college where my mom comes infriends dad came in as well and Iremember as we're going out he was goingout my mom was coming in so I'm stillmom kind of knew what to expectyeah and in there it was some kind ofexactly what the predictions were but itwas no great again he was no quoteshe was no great January exams so youknow that's Jennifer Connelly Wingate'scaucuses in January exams like threemonths either one now and I rememberthere was a law exam I was ready to gosee I thought exam was a 2 p.m. orsomething I don't know what in my mind[Laughter]anyway so you just told me you knowcheck what time you exactly hmmand this time is about half nine whenzone was at 9 o'clockyeah you know I had breakfast heaven orbreakfast yeahso we get to school and we get tocollege which is about half an hourdrive on a good daythis one's not good dangos of the snowobviously so I get they have a half tenand there's about an hour of the examnext is going to be a two and a halfhours I'll run for itI'm not oh please I'm going to be nakedno exam can you please let me go and seethe rest of the example you know cannotrestart it about two hours now and thenI why are you late that's odd the busbroke down those are all round chaos -okay we the only student from thisCollege in that bus yeah but you onlysee the last best results came out I'llgo ahead de you yeah I got a de you auwas a mystery yeah I didn't think I didthat bad but boy come one hey you herewe go again you know I'm gonna go homehow do you go home the best thing to doyeah so there's no nasty surprises whenI get home my parents just know I was ina school dayyou know hopefully bugs ever get homeyeah Judas thank you lot of except tothe end you know it's like go home gethome and again it was just a case of youknow yeah this time there was no rightten is your life your life you do whatyou want is worse that I got me man yeahdisappointment is worse than that guyI'll probably get shouted midair don'tgets around disappoints in the human soI was thinking some stuff okay so I hadto pay for the reasons are my own moneythen resutsI go in a b c in the receipts in thesummer which was great because wafflewas a leg was really the same as he saidJesus is we can revise two weeks beforeGeorge I know Chauncey and so I learnedthe hard way I'm sort of sure in the endI got a BBC fantastically end of the ADAwas which was great which can set me onthe path to unique University and I wentto university went to Manchester did myfirst degreeyou've Community development's it wasgreatenjoyed it then I went on to do somework related to that words and fate ofpeoplemmm-hmm and it was basically aorganization which would be young peoplewho were born HIV and I would like tosay that it's probably the best thingI've ever done in my life imagined jobwise and satisfaction wise cuz you knowyou're making that positive impact onpeople's lives and having said that youknow I am gonna keep jumping back andforth wine yeah I know that start thepodcast was all discussed growing up inthe house were you watching peopleworking hard know what we know this jobin age of fourteen I remember it was apaper round for the local newspaper inthe area and it was about 350 newspapersevery Thursday in November I wake upfirst thing in the morning Wednesdaynightsfirst thing first day morning do about150 use maple before going to schoolcome back get rid of schoolgo to school come back home till eventhe rest of the newspaper sometimes yousaw spit into the Friday as welldepending on how fast there wasn't onenothing and again it was that thing oftrying to get that good work ethicinstilled in me from a young age as wellso once I was you know in college I wasworking as well yeah I was working themin has to be like you know you do themath I was pissed at it see then when Imoved to Manchester also a conventionsee like I do that by state authoritiesgonna work like Clark's and I moved backhome yeah because the other guys I wasworking for they lost their funding andthey had to close down and I'm thinkingman was next because I've got thisdegree but I know that the job prospectsare not great a ride wasn't Mickey Mousedegree and I think you know go back I'mone I've done the same onemaybe frequently that prospectus was abig t fast yeah you know he's just acase of Social Work socialized the nextthing for me that's what and that's whatwe met that's what we meantI remember the first time I see thisSocial Work and being in social workerswere working in and it was back then andI remember it was a case of alsodifferent different environments andthey you need to remember you workingtogether differently when I did myundergraduate it was a case yeah yeahhere the Masters is the case of yourhelp me help youof course and I think I've seen more usis amol that's the big man that's thebig and it was a case of my it was notjust asked he was pretty much the wholebrain sleep everyone just worked so wellto confessand we try to make sure that if someonedid not was not doing so well we try topull them up why didn't his doing thisyou know centrist instead of myosinpowerful is this you know yeah who'sgreat and again it's that thing of forme that's where I experienced real trustI mention your colleagues because I'venot known anything like that before Ithink I'm the same but then there's afew things that that one age willprobably or everyone's had a degreebefore so you wise up a little bit but Ithink also it's a testament that peopleare going to become social workersbecause you guys who are keep in touchwith here and there through that what'sup yourself a little bit more to be asocial worker wanna become a socialworker you've got to be a different kindof person I believe you've gotta havethat level there's gonna be something inyour heart that makes you want to helppeople so the reason you will start thatjourney together was we want you to bethe best I'm socially in the world andchange the world so if we call after ourpeers who are on the same path as usthen that's saying something about yourpersonality and there's nobody on thatcourse I can think of who did that weall literally just held each other upsomebody would tell me what my choicelike come along with me and I love thatcommunity like so yeah you know I havingsaid that you having said that you knowyou said you have to be same kind ofperson to be a social would you besurprised you know bro really there'ssome people that you see I don't thinkit wait you know you'd agree yeaheveryone was great I'm sure thateveryone was great as well as you think[Music]but then when you get in the job thereare some people that you think wherewere you and the cool so becomedesensitized orHuracan people do become desensitizedand sometimes i know that we found thisout that the job is not what we expectedit to be yeah so I think that's probablywhy some people serve turn out to be acertain way whilst on the jobyeah um you know we do the masters andnow you know I'm I'm working the jobworking the job and it's going okaybasically from my story in main thingthe hours of convey is their thing ofother people's expectationsdo not let people's expectations of yourother people's limitations in you becomeyour reality doctor so you know ifsomeone's a sense EE you know yeah youdo so well I don't think you're gonna beable to do this you know that's theirexpectations that doesn't mean it has totranspire it to you absolutelyand sadly it does sadly in some cases itdoes cause a self-fulfilling prophecyyeah if you didn't shout that the badbelievin that they're bad you knowthey'll probably start behaving it'sthat feeling of staying in your own laneI think that's really important people'sopinions they're all facts it's justtheir belief and again their beliefisn't the truth is their truth it's notin fact and I think I've learned thatthe hard way because a lot of stuff I'vebought off for trying to do was based onother people's opinions and I just thinknow the most important opinion is theopinion of myself I mean in movie youhave to it sounds it sounds weird as agrown man and he stays thinking I needto start to look at myself I need tostart valuing myself because somewherealong the journey I stopped doing thatand the way I would I suppose look atmyself what I do myself was based on theopinion of other people whereas now it'slike each Australian if there's a fewpeople in my life who their opinionconcerns me because I respect them and Iwant them to think that I'm doing a goodthing but other than that it's reallyabout myself and that's why we touchedon prior to this episode time why'd youstop that self-talk every morning andhave you stuff that empowers me ratherthan brings me down because a lot of usthumpings get out it wasn't actuallymyself it was the opinions of othersthat I would repeat to myself and say Imust be sure I must be anxious I mustnot be strong enough for must not begood enoughthat's a is the mind is so powerful so Ithink one of the things I want to tryand be with this podcast is always tryand get into younger heads so they don'tgo through that exactly he reallyswitched them young because we instillthat mind saying them from a young ageisn't it yeah definitely you know andit's not thinking of mom always saysdon't let your feet go cold what shewasn't someone else is great I love thatyou know love it and it's not be enoughfor example right now the time is whattime is it11:14 11:40 11:40 in Zim it is 140 okayit's 114 thing right now does that meanthat we're slower then we're not we'rein a different time zone we're notslower than them you know and I said soright you know someone graduated yeahand they just wanted see or wait fiveyears before securing a good job andsomeone became a CEO at the age of 25but died at the age of 50 while someoneelse became a CEO and the age of 50 andleave till they were nine see Obamaretired as president at the age of 55don't know Trump became president at theage of 70 you know so everyone's intheir own time zone and people aroundyou they might seem like they I had afew or some be behind you but everyone'srunning the old race in their own timeso think of not being I just want topoint out quickly for the podcast he'sreading white Instagram right man yaknow but it makes so much sense which iswhy we get along we think the same kindof things so I'm sure your remains to us[Laughter]it's the truth but the problems withsociety in like social media and stuffis we are that in our food go cold Isuppose if you use that because we wantyou cuz we're watching as a people I'mnot gonna sit here and say I don't dothat myself I'm conscious that it's notthe right thing to do six out of theseven days a weekI don't do it but there are some dayswhen you get frustrated cuz you know youwant to be there but then is that thingabout trust in the process and we'reboth average gym goerswe know what it's like to Broadway toadd strength to lose weight and stuffand we know it's a process thing so sothat's really importantor what I switch gears just a little bitwe want to one of the next questionwhich is about routine now I alwaysbelieve whereproduct of our habits and the things wetell ourselves and I think I know myselfpersonally but my routines on point mydays are on point and my goals and whatprogression it moves forward but whenit's not it's completely off so I'mgonna know is what's your kind of dailyroutine that you do now having learnedall the lessons that you've had it sincecoming from Zimbabwe to England andgoing through school and then throughyour social work where you probably seemore stuff than most people what's kindof like your daily routine that keepsyou going okay wake uppeople myself all been just now jokingright so obviously get on the treadmillstraightaway I get 45 minutesfrosted coffee or show a beauty showcoming up in about nine weeks where isthat show they'll be a staff to shareokay in Staffordshire then there'll beanother one two weeks after that instaffing shared stuff and I'm not onepotentially after my Scotland you loveit yeah so at the moment I wake up to gofasted cardio get in the shower thenhave my breakfast and only just you knowbreakfast I can have one to go on my wayto workI'm going to work and probably listen tosongs because before he used to itsounds like the radio and then I realizethat all the stars radio presenters theyirritate mebecause I know guys their job or thechild or the rubbish yeah and most of itis lies but that's what I have to do istheir job isn't it so there is anythingthat's fine it's on the plate presentersare talking I just feature a differentstation with a drink and song at thattime I listen to radio for one now butnow I listen to something quitemotivational you know there's so manymotivational things that you finallyachieve and it takes me not too long toget to work so I put that day's work isfinished and it's just climbed a littlesomething in my mind I've learnedsomething from thatOh do and I get to work do I need to dowhilst at work you know how I can officewhere people are always bringing cakesmy songs for breakfast and all thisdifference and you know the donor so nowand then and I'm they even have a littlelunch boxes lunches you can have someyou're gonna have some you know and nownobody even seems like a drink a cup oftea they don't ask me for one becausethey know that I'm not gonna have onedrink or take and condos weight so I canteens tell me why I don't think intoidea how they're gonna say if you don'tknow cause I've had these conversationswith my colleagues about you know havingthe discipline to discipline and if youare not there wish I was like you but hecan be only yesterday miss get right upin the end until you get there you'renot gonna be able to see it starts hereit starts it starts all starts in thehead do memory right you can't youactually can't and that's what I believeI don't believe that you can't so youcan't you're not there until you believeyou can yeah anyway then of course thegym after work I destroy my work out asmuch as I cango home and have a meal do it be areading after that cuz I've got abouttwo hours to find start getting readyfor bed and have my last meal and go tobed okay that's a typical day and for medon't get me wrong I work a stressfuljob about something I think I think thatsometimes it's the stress would you makeit I'm not really a stress the stress Tperson like that so for me I always tryto remain calm stay chilled andsometimes the people that you know doyou ever like strength unlike what'sthat gonna helpit's not gonna help me isn't Americanthings better it's not then I go see thegym me in the gym is a space where I canshut down you know just focus on why isit fun to meyeah it's a place for me there's timesthat I going what gym about six times aweekI don't want it went you know about sixtimes a week but now is the case ofdiscipline I'm just I'm there whether Iwant to or thatdo I wanna wake up frustrated with myclothes every dayI don't want to see what I have to do Ido because I have seen you know peoplesaying are jungian up dry chicken outdry chicken and veg again how do youenjoy it I'm gonna enjoy I don't mean toenjoy because nobody needs ityeah it's about why I enjoy oh you canseason your chicken me you cannotconsistently so why don't you need toenjoy it so have it yeah that's one thatI like that and the great thing aboutthat is it's transferable by anything oranything because for me I've nevercompeted before these were firstbodybuilding competitions you know andnothing to myself rightit's that pinnacle before I used to goJim it's just real weight you know tryand lift as heavy as I can they camepretty strong but then what's next youknow cuz I catch a point in the gym Ithink you know you know same old stuckhere for how many years not much changesso if we know yeah jump our comfort zonedoing something that's gonna stretchsomething you've never ever done beforeso completes it and it's something I'vealways wanted to do ok right this yearI'm gonna compete this you know is thevery first of December no sir right thisyear I'm gonna compete that racismnothing's happening so sometimes youneed to take action absolutelyabsolutelywhen it comes to do it that's a wholedifferent story some people some peoplefeel like they're doing push-ups oh theygetting bigger by just talking about itoh yeah it's all pumped up the momentand listen to motivational thing andthey're feeling grateful oh but 30minutes per month okay now you're gonnawork and that work there and whatever itis in life so say for instance if youuse my property for example a lot of thestuff I do in this job it's not greatand sometimes people will look at itfrom from their perspective and think ohyou've got the life you can work withyou on that listen when I accept my dayI hate doing these tasks but I have todo it just in order to get my freedomdiscipline equals freedom basicallythat's how I see itsame with the gym so I'll get the smirkremarkso you're always in the gym you'readdicted to the gym first I used to getmy back up a little bit because I didn'twant to be that guy but I'm like okaythat's fineI'd rather be addicted to that then atthe same time similar to your son yesI'd say three or four times a week Ireally want to get to the gym becauseyou just you feel good you feel greatthe other times and what I'm doingsometimes I do to workout today as wellI don't wanna be there but I have to bethen I convince myself and I starttalking the struggle I go through my ownhead to get myself to the gym thatmorning is tough but it has to bedonated to become he's so happy now he'slike it's like when I breathe or when Ieat and drink it's just part of it thisis second natureyeah everyone should do that becauselike we said it's all transferrable intoanything if I can myself up my comfortzone every single day and do that andthen do that with other tasks in my lifeI either private casting ie my propertyor my coaching or whatever then slowlylike with a gym progress it's gonnastart happening isn't ityou gotta start reaching them and lookdoing things such as a meal prep I'venever used a real prayer never use themeal prep and you know the whole resultshave been working our fancy KFC KFC KFCof course I why do I do thatdodge it corny ammonia sometimes all myeat lunch and by the time just beforeeating I'll be starving and I'll havewiping stuck in order Big John'sastray if I were to be John's then goJesus laughter you cannot I work aboutdiet and stuff Engels now I could takesome 2,000 do four days worth of foodand I feel great yeah absolutely and nowit's a habit I believe in dreadmill prepI enjoy heat and deciphering again manmotivation that's all if I say a - timediscipline lasts forever high-degreewonder-percent I think I used to be aperson trainer not seven eight years andI'm Cocorico need to like a coachingaspect I suppose the people were so likemy property and business and stuff andone of the first things I will say topeople when they approach me or can youcoach me for a kind of ability you helpme get get over this hurdle in my lifefor example it's okay do you work out asolution one of the first questionsasked which they probably don't expectfrom the coach because I think you knowyou're gonna give me some system orsomething that you need to do forbusiness and the majority of them say noI'm like well that needs to changebecause the way I do my stuff is that'sthe first thing we look at we focusingon your health which I believe is yourbiggest well you know healthy as well asthat kind of thing and your mind gettingthat right and that's kind of how I lookat it so I think me going to the gymespecially for my boxing okay justbefore meeting you doing the Masters hasbeen one of the biggest disadvantages Ihad when I went to this property game inthis business game because I was like Ijust take that work ethic where I was iworking everyone in the gym and i justbring it into yeah okay i don't know asmuch about property or business as mostpeople but most people start work aboutknowing they work to about half i forexample you have about an hour and ahalf at the dick you know for lunch thenlooking at YouTube videos half waythrough if I just wake up seven eighto'clock but I don't have all that timeand I just work till seven eight o'clockat night very very quickly over a coupleyears I'll call back up if that makesany sense that's kind of what I've doneit that of course yeah okay fantastic sowhat is your biggest fear why is mybiggest fear okay um my biggest fear isI would say to not be able to keep myfamily they deserve what would change intheir day to day would it be that youwant to retire them from work or sendthem on a holiday I mean what kind ofthings in what will change them and thenmoments wake up to what's work thatwould be the main thing the choice didyou have the choice if they do choose togo to work is our choice as long as theyhave to yeah and at the moment is thecase of the clock see I thinks it's cuzknow we spend a lot of our time I workmore about time get home everyone'stired or we the good gets a bed that'syour neo Cynthia as you know spend asmuch time as you deal with them as youdo at work absolutelyfor me I would like for my family to theOpera Z what's the spin because that'sthat's invaluable man thing is for us tospend more time together spend more timedoing something that it does not reallybenefit us you know the initial initialamount of time that it got its that's mybiggest worry cuz it's not for you knowcritics life is a predictoryou know things happen day in day outactually I've seen this call he saidthat we who die while still alive youknow you don't expect it to happen whilethings happen and for me out of reallydisappointed if I if something any fixthat happened and I'm not being able togive my family the life that theydeservethat's what my biggest fear okay goodanswer good answerokay so the next question is aboutmotivation I'd be lying I suppose if Isaid there was a days where I struggledto keep myself away I think I've touchedon this earlier you know gym stuffand I'm pretty soon yourself had thosedays as well I've yet to meet anybodywho doesn't need some level ofmotivation or something that just keepson going on the days where they justdon't feel like doing it so I want toknow is on those days where you feellike maybe you're in a funk or yourmotivations gone and then he's just notclicking in your head and you don't wantto go to the gym I know we touch ondiscipline for example or you don't wantto go to it what is driving you on thatparticular day okay I always think thatsomeone else is working harder that's meby the way up in smoke okay if we are tobelieve this you know the competition'sthat I'm gonna do like I said I don'twanna go to gym every day but I dosometimes I'm in the gym I'm gonnahundred percent I still give iteverything that came on that day yeahyou know I'll finish myself I want to bestanding on that stage and if I've lostit's my cause I worked refused yeah Iwant to lose with my head held highokay there's nothing more that Icould've actually given me okay that'swhat motivates me I don't understandtheir thinking and if I want to thinkthat one day that's gonna be that we maylive so stop being of no wanting to beoutworked it's okay yeah you're gonnalose okay we lose it but do not losecause I do not get oh yeah you knowthat's Jim late but I'm Garcialife in general I just touched up on myknees that like they don't give for myfamilyyes that's what motivates me to stopbeing of man you can't afford to letthat grip slippushy and you know I'm always to youmore the fact that they're waking up agoal to work that day when that day thewake nuts got to work clay yeah that'sthat's my motivation desperate like theyhave to wake up for where that baby thatyou have that makes sure you don't hitthat seems but exactly can I hear thatbecause I understand me my wife youwhile I went on this journey where I wasself-employed and not really normally Iwas literally carrying I had this muchmoney to spare another I need to getremember me I need to pay for a coffeeany I was working my pennies out in abootstrapping but the thing that wouldalways get me out of bed was and I wasput my alarm I just put on for my wifeyeah so I'm like she's haven't talked towork to support this I mean and thatused to keep me going every single daythat's so I hear that okay okay so nowyou've heard the buzzer has just goneoff and we're at the fun part of theshow where I'm gonna put you throughyour paces now the beautiful thing aboutthis is T doesn't know any of thequestions I'm gonna ask him so what I'mgonna do is I'm gonna set the timer for60 seconds okay so we're going to startin three two onethe ability to fly or be invisible rightmoney your fame money Ronnie Coleman orAuto Show Sega on favorite protein shapeflavor banana singing or dancing dancingthat Pixar YouTube YouTube Marvel or DCmodel favorite TV show everwould you rather than on how you woulddie or when you were dying when you loveor moneylove books or movies if you can sit withone person in the world or an hour withme you'll probably be in Iraq your worstfear growing up was snakes what is yourbiggest addictionmy biggest addiction is Jim summerwinter summer your favorite place in thewhole way your zoom speak or languageswill be able to speak to animalssweet harmonies if you could abolish onething in the world for many P racismyour favorite song ever last onesJacob read minds or predict the futureyour favorite superheromy pramantha probably one of mine yeahyeah okay so but nearly there's just acouple of more questions left and thenext one's on reflection so hi insidesome wonderful thing and upon reflectionwe can always think of ways to get towhere we currently are quicker easier orwith less heartache but I also guess thejourney teaches us a lot as well I'm astrong believer in trusting the processand enjoying the process so what I wantto know is if you could go back in timeto that one moment where you reallystruggled and suffered with theadversity so if you use the universityexample and you can just whispersomething in the air of a younger Tknowing what you know now what would youtell yourself when I tell myself beproactiveno one's gonna keep this to you you cando thisno one can race you come on your waysfor you you're gonna do but in so we areactually at the last question then if ina hundred and fifty years time sciencefails to save all of us we're no longerhere and well that exists is a book onthe life of T by the way you can chooseup for the title and on that book it'sit can be as big as you want butsomebody's walking past what will makethat person pick it up right so what Iwant to know is what would the blue sayand what would the total of that booksay about you okay okay something GodseyI mean that I'm always there so someonewho just worked hard to chase theAmerican dream for their family justfinally in Americayeah people's attention but that it'struly the only company okay title titlethe British dream says a guy it's veryhard to get there makethey're gonna be thinking this authorhas no idea where my story my story myright there's not right or wrong answergood answer good answer so that you'veheard it you've heard like anunbelievable story of somebody who'scoming from a place where many of us whoare listening to this now haven't had tocome from I suppose and I studied withtea at University and a lot of this Inever knew myself so it's it's beeninspiring for myself to hear thisespecially when I sit back and I thinkabout when we were doing coursework andI used to struggle with the EnglishEnglish language myself so just to thinkhow hard it must have been for you aswell it just makes you appreciate howfortunate we all are before we leave Iam I always like to ask my guests ifthey could just give us one place wherewe could reach out to you I'll probablysay snapchat realistically okay thesemore than anything that's fine you andyour username infrastructure catcherFreeman catch a Freeman okay fantasticI'll put that in the show notesI'm will probably put your Instagram inthere as well because I find itinspirational there's a lot of greatquotes bill on my Instagram okay butthere's also a lot of their trainingfootage as well and bespoke prior tothis interview as well teas on thetransformation where he's gone from justunder probably 100 kg down to like 7 eie I think at the minute and it'sprobably gonna get lower so it justshows you that if you really trust theprocess in your work hard you can reallyget to where you want to get to and Ijust wanna say thank you for coming downreally appreciate itand tirana home thanks for listening andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 8 - Memoirs of an Anxious Mind - Cos KyriacouTagline: "To HIM its just a game, playing with my mind. An easy target for HIM, he always seems to find. He always seems to be there to put me in my place, lurking and scheming like a puff of smoke up in my face..."Cos is a talented Poet who has found his voice by utilising the power poetry in speaking about his depression and anxiety. Riddled with many trials and tribulations growing up Cos has battled with suicidal thoughts from time to time.Now determined to conquer his mindset working on his health, thoughts and gifts he is looking to help those struggling with mental health illness more.Alongside this, Cos is also a qualified Accountant and Personal Trainer and this is just some of his hidden talents. He kindly shares one of his poems, HIM, in this podcast and I am sure once you hear this you will follow him over on his instagram channel to learn more about him and hear so many more powerful poems.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cmklifestyle/ (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfullfitness/ (Movement#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so like many of myguests I get really really passionateand excited to try and support them andI suppose that's the beautiful thingabout this show because it's real peopledoing real things just like me and youI'm really trying to make a differenceand today's guest is no differenttoday's guest goes by the name of Kosand I do apologize in advance but Ican't pronounce their surname but you'regoing to get all of that in the shownotes but what's important about thisindividual is what they've been throughin their life and I suppose even moreimportant than that is how they'vetackled their adversity they've tackledtheir mental health their depressiontheir feelings of suicide and reallycome out on the other side and now whatthey're doing is making an impact tohelp other people and that's just mykind of person and I'm sure it'sprobably your kind of person too so Ithink it's important that rather thanyou listen to me whoo yes once again Ihave a cold I think that's gonna be atheme of this show let's jump straightinto this interviewokay so firstly I just want to thankcause for coming on to the show todayand for all you listeners who are heresupporting our movement so my friend howyou doing today good morning I'm goodnot as early as you Baba fantastic youlike to hear you well we've had a bit oftechnical issues and it is slightlyearlier than normal so excuse our voicescool so you've heard the introductionI've explained cause his story but whatI want to know well I think what thelisteners want to know is more aboutyourself from you and I think it'simportant that they can get tounderstand your story youjourney and how you basically progressthrough life and ended up where you aretoday so if you wouldn't mind my friendif you could just give us a rundownbasically of the life of cause the lifeof course easily hey I think it's bestto start where I am now and then kind ofgo through how I got here so I'm aqualified charted accountant soundsriveting ah no he says exciting as itsoundswhoo guys recently qualified in Decemberand in the new year I've gone part timeto kind of tramp pursue my own endeavorsin life so starting from the beginning Iwas stopped when I was born because I'mquite old now or in my own eyes I'm oldbut I don't like to use the word sufferbut I've had anxiety my whole life andnow been listening to your your showshaven't they been amazing by the way Iappreciate that thank you just listen toyour different guests you know strugglesthey've had to go through and obstaclesthey face for me I've always felt itdifficult to kind of ask for helpbecause I've had I've had such a goodlife in something upbringingand the situation I'm in I've hadamazing parents I've never had to askfor anything not that was slow in anysense but I was given everything Ineeded clothes water the essentials andthat but from an early age I just felt Iwas different kind of like I had thesevoices in my head I used to think it wasit was good it was someone else I reallydon't know what it was and I find thiswent through life with it at school Inever really felt like I fit in whereason the outside poori it probably seemedlike I was that guy good at his workgone along with people but I kind ofquiz my anxieties I threw myself into mywork so I think into studying into beingthe best I can in that sense so I justdidn't feel comfortable socializing Ididn't feel comfort with myself and thensaw some much easier CSIS etc I left forsix oneI changed sixth one then and that's whenI started to spiral a bit looking backnow it's funny because I can see all mycatalysts I can see why I feel the way Ididwhere is at the time I just had no ideawhat's going on I'm just in my own mindso for me what gets me a look is changeand uncertainty and new things andespecially socializing in in newenvironments so change into a new sixthform with people I didn't know newsubjects just threw me off completelyand it might sound stupid some peoplebecause this is such a simple thing butfor me the biggest fact thing anyone canhandle is their own mind and that'ssomething I've always struggled with yesI might not have had big thermal in mylife a lot of people have but a lot ofpeople live in with their own minds andtry about that every day and people needto appreciate thatit is hard for a lot of people mm-hmm soyeah went to I went to six-month pickingup from then and firstly was extremelyhard for meI was probably on the debts ofdepression where it's back then I thinkwe know what the pressure was so Ididn't really see as that I just felt itwas me so my family helped me through alot I got through a levels my secondyear beta it was great because I wasmore comfortable in my environment andthen applied for university got goodgrades and got into UCL to studyeconomics and I think at UCL was thefirst time I really but I understandwhat the pressure was I start to gothrough it so I'm still living at hometraveling to London every day and justdidn't feel like I fit in they're alwayscomparing myself to others that I wasn'tgood enough to be there and then Istarted getting suicidal food so I standon train tracks and my mind we kill himto jump and yeah I in my mind I've - Iknow myself cuz I've never had thosethoughts before and I'm in the past I'venever when I've heard people who commitsuicide or taken her own life I've neverunderstood it but in that moment and nowI've been through it that's the onlyplace you see confort is by not beinghere not being with your mindWow is that is that kind of a thing thatyou've you've convinced yourself that itwould just be better off yeah a hundredpercent it's like you explore differentoptions so when I start to feel anxiousor when I'm gonna extremely the prostateI start to looklook at the fact that across the greenon the other side so I was at UCO and Iwas saying to my momI'm gonna quit I'm just gonna get jobI'm gonna apply to a different Union I'mgonna do this I'm gonna do that I alwaystry and wash one away because then allthat anxiety all that all that hurt willbe gone and over you place intosomething new so that's the first time Istarted seeing a counselor Britt at UCoh and while I was at UCL I write toanother university again seeing that thegrass is green on the other side justwant to get out of it so I startedstudying for my exams at UCL it's aboutApril time and then I've gotconfirmation that I was given anotherplace at Royal Holloway University I'vebeen sorry okay and I thought to myselfyou know what it's not worth the toiletturn won't burn through I'd literallywrite vice for all my exams the weekly Iwas gonna sit there but I decided that'sit I'm not sitting them because I justwant this this kind of cloud to be overso I quit or I gave up UCL andstraightaway I just felt that count hasbeen liftedI felt so good then I was like you knowwhat this is what I need like my nextuniversity is gonna be amazing I'm gonnafind so yeah that summer was great andthen September moved up to roll away tostop my new course and in the same thingstarted comparing myself to others newsituation a lot of social anxiety Ididn't go out a lot in my first year andlike I'd hear people in the kitchendrinking and stuff and I just be in myroomjust with my own thoughts Wow and I'mglad today I have amazing friends andamazing flat I'm still in touch with andthat's friends with your good may aswellfears off so she helped me through a loteven if she doesn't know it and bygetting my first year of uni I wasthinking I need to apply to another uniit's gonna be better on the other side Ineed to take my course something to dothis I applied for a job and luckily youknow I was convinced to stay I lost myfirst year went on to the second yearand that is the biggest term like mylife is the second year I just spiraledout of control just in myselfamong thoughts just not being able tocall or be in social situations withpeople my first day my room up my mum mysister would always come and visit me tomake sure I was okay because they wereextremely worried about me of courselike I used to lock myself in my roomthen and research how to end my lifebecause it's the only way I can see anend to it and I knew how wrong that thatwas and the the only thing that stoppedme from ever doing it then was yes myfamily like what we do to them but I'mactually getting emotional saying thissorry man please take your timebut yeah the most it's really silly butthe thing that stopped me was I wouldn'tend my life right and my parent wouldhave to look after me and like her in astate where I think people looking aftermyself yeah sorry man no no I can onlyimagine what what you're going throughbecause my level of desire is nothingcompared to your level of depression andwe spoke briefly before we had thisinterview that you know it took the best8 years of my mom's life away and Ithink unless you live with somebodywho's going through or somebody it's sodifficult because from the surface Imean you look at your Instagram you lookat yeah the way the way you conductyourself your poetry which you're goinglater on in the interview it's just likethis kind of depression you know youjust know isn't no more that is itnormally is somebody you can relate tobut it's it's amazing how some it's notsomething so simple but something likeyour mind can just completely just yetturn your world upside down and it's oneof my favorite quotes ever and Iprobably say to myself at least six orseven times a week not because I do itbut because it just helps with thingsinto perspective and it's comparison isthe thief of joy you said that you hadins ie from a very young age and I meanI'm 32 now and I'm kind of peeling backthe onion layers using an analogy ofwhen I started getting anxiety and Ithink yes having reflected and lookingback at myself I'm able to find certainmoments in my life like when I was sixor seven I was atshit I was actually quite anxious thenand then maybe that's really kind ofsnowboard have you been able to in yourcurrent situation not be able to lookback and find these key triggers or haveyou always just known yourself to beanxious no a hundred percent if I knewone who I knew now about myself I couldhave controlled a lot of what happenedto me and not let it happencould you elaborate so my anxieties mycatalysts are changed like newsituations where that's a new job newUniversity a new subject I'm studyinguncertainty so I'm a perfectionist as Isaid before I used to put myself into mywork and just try and excel at that soif I'm not the best at something I startto get anxious might sound stupid butthat's just the way I am so it's notstupidso you've always had this in psyche yeahand now you knowing what you know nowyou've said you can obviously look backand think I could have changed stuffwhat kind of things I mean I'm thinkingpractical things here for somebody who'smaybe a little bit younger thanourselves who's going through thismoment they're just constantly anxioushave changed like yourself and being inthese kind of environments what wouldyou kind of say to them now the onenumber one thing does has helped me themost about anything is talking about itso talking about how you feel because Iwould often just keep everything balledup inside me and whereas today I'm openas hell honesty oh are you guys to swearon this podcast may you can do whateveryou want thank fuck for that that's finesome people might not like that but youknow sometimes it's one of the only waysyou can express it sometimes one or twoepisodes myself sonot a problem mate so yes second year ofuniversity extremely down I went to sawa doctor there who prescribed me afterdepressants and I'm back then I hadnever taken a tablet in my life not evena paracetamol just nothing I was justagainst putting foreign substances in mybody so I got prescribed down to theirpresence I went and got them but I didnot take them and I came back home forChristmas and I was just so so bad oneday my dad leave she just got me in thecar drove me off the sorry and when hemom didn't say hello to any of myhousematesjust went in my drawer guys I depresswe drove all the way back home to NorthLondon and I started taking them andthey helped me massively they're therethey're a tool for helping you they'renot a magic pill that's gonna makeeverything go away could you have to putyou have to put other things in yourlife that's gonna help you get throughbut they definitely help just balanceout the chemicals in your brain and theway you think think mm-hmm and so Istarted taking them must I've seen atherapist as well and then I startedgoing to the gym again so I was injuredat the time I got really depressed theymy substitute but I had a fun injuryokay that's unique yeah so I couldn'treally lift weights and so as soon asthat healed in the new year that's likea gym again I started feeling good Istopped them seeing my therapist eventhough he advised me to carry on and Ifinished my second year third year wasgreat really enjoyed it when I almost Ihad finished uni over to 1/2 percent offat first which again I beat myself upagain about don't beat yourself up todayI by the time I was in tears thatliterally so fun and and then yeahapplied for a job took me eight monthsto get a job and I had no idea what todo with my life was planned foreverything in anythink mmmgot over Owen into accountancy and thenstart here and then things that Ispiralling down again so and evenprobably even deeper depression I had inmy second year and the extreme thatsuicidal thoughts I just didn't knowwhat I want to do with my lifeespecially working full-time andstudying and studying for something youdidn't you didn't really want like Ididn't know if I wanted to be anaccountant up in all this effort into itwhat am i what am i giving to otherpeople what I'm given to the world bybeing an accountantthat's just how and I just didn't see medoing anything else so I I said to mymom not gonna quit and the Khan teachI'm gonna quit and do this and quit anddo that and my mom bless her she she'shelping me a lot but I know howfrustrating it is she understands fullyjohnstad 3 but I know how frustrating isto try and help someone who nothingseems to help themselves and you can seethe same things happening again in termsyou wanted to just change again to a newsituationso I stopped taking as the presents whenI was at Union swell after that Sigmaperiod and I was at work I cited themagain I'm slicing the therapist againand a major thing that helped me getthrough if I did not do this I would nothave qualified to try to count and I maynot be alive today I'm being honest withyou I told him what I told myself aboutmy depression so I went spokes inmanagers I went spoke the partners inthe firm and they were so so good aboutit honestlythat's brilliant like they helped memassively they put things in place forme and I felt I could go and talk topeople about it more mm-hm so yeah itwas tough as hell and I qualified aboutthis December just gone so I'm currentlyin the process of coming up mad for thepresents fantasticI'll be off them in about two weeks I'vedefinitely felt some side effects butthey start to wear off and I'm feelinggood about life now and the mostimportant thing about anything thatbeing through mum I don't like to usethe word happy up being through it I'mkind of I'm glad for which taught me andso six months ago if I was doing thispodcast review I know I was in tears alittle bit before but I would not beable to talk about this with withanybody whereas now I don't give a fuckI put it on Instagram I talk abouttrying to speaking about their feelingsespecially especially as a man today inthe society there's so much manypressures a lot of stance what about 100percent mate it's a it's an ego maybesurprise thing I don't know what it iswith guys we don't realize thatvulnerability is actually a truestrength and I spoke about thispreviously again I'd recommend if youcan listen to Lewis Howes I think he'sgot a book the mask of masculinity andit's a fantastic book because I think asguys you're doing something there thatis something that we don't do and I'mnot stereotyping it but how many of usreally talk about stuff when we feel ohbecause it's a bravado thing isn't it wecan't show weakness we can't show thatwe're feeling down or low and I thinkthe reason I was really interested ingetting you on this show is or becauseyou've touched on something there so wespoke about the social enterprise thatI'm working on with mywe're going to get back to mental healthand awareness the first question askedthough was what do you want like if weraise awareness is it money is it likematerialistic things what kind of thingswould make you guys feel better and shesays somebody should talk to you andthat brings us to the whole thing thatwe spoke about prior to this episode isI'm gonna open up just centers I'm gonnahire them for the day get people who aregoing through it people who haveovercome it to just maybe talk about itand I know that might sound like such asimple thing from the outside but you'vetouched on it now as wellthe world needs to speak it's thesimplest of things look us I say toeveryone I don't see anxiety as anillness this is my this is my personalopinion yeah everyone has anxiety butjust different levels of a spectrumdepression is the lowest of the low thusthat that's an illness that's somethingyou can you need to case of our but thedifference between me and the guyssitting next to me the only differencebetween us is I can talk about it now Italk about it that's the only differencethe guy still has anxiety 100% differentmaybe different levels different aspectsin his life but he just doesn't talkabout it that's the difference and bytalking about it which you've been doingmore openly now and some of it's throughyour poetry is all which is fantastic aswell have you genuinely seen like ashift in like your overall moods and didthe severity of your laws as well Oh100% like if I have a load they know ifI don't know they in the past I comehome and I keep all my stuff where it'sI come home now and thank what my sisteris my rock honestly I would not behonestly hands-down I would not be aliveabout her today and she has she's notbeen through depressiontouchwood and thank God but even so ashard it was for her to help me she wasjust there to listen even if she didn'tunderstand she was just there to listenand put small things in place to me forme and so yeah I remember this one timeat university when I was when I was homefor that Christmas when I was really badI had an essay to write and I told her Ijust can't do it I'm gonna quit but sheliterally sat down with me and made mewrite for five minutes at a time when wego and have a break and come back onwrite for five minutes so that's amazingyeah she's been amazing and you'refortunateto have that because there's so manypeople out there you may not necessarilyhave that kind of support network aswell yeah because like you've touched onit's an illness and it's because it'snot physical because it's not like yourthumb for example or yeah you knowsomebody's leg broken or something it'sit's internal and again because peoplearen't speaking what we're doing iswe're masking everything with it with itwith a smile or Facebook post orInstagram post but deep down we'verarely know what somebody's goingthrough exactly it's just scary and Ithink I think living with it is scary soI can only imagine what you're goingthrough so again I just want to saythank you for for really sharing thestory no problem I just want to say umthank what I've not been in the pressdate for about two and a half years nowyes I live with anxiety but I am knowingthat press date and I'm I will fight mymy utmost not to go back there and helpanyone else to come out absolutely andI'm not I'm not in a position to giveyou any advice having not been throughwhat you've been through but yeah thenthere's a simple quote we use it for ourfor our business that me or mom aregoing to start it's okay not to be okayyeah I don't know it sounds simple butit's so important that we understandthat because myself I mean I don'tsuffer with depression but I will wakeup on it on a Monday or a Tuesday itcould be any day of the week and I willbe in an absolute funk and I'm like whydo I feel like shit like nothing's gonewrong like you know my health is they'remy wife's happy my mom's finethere's nothing actually happened inthat day I've slept well but then youknow what you just you just feel reallylow and you got like no motivation andstuff and I used to beat myself up aboutthat because I just think I've got somuch stuff to do I need to change theworld I need to do this at least getmyself up now it's kind of like Iliterally say that quote to myself it'sokay not to be okay and all I'll do ison that particular day or do stuff likeI'll go to the gym I'll try and keep mynutrition as well as possible becauseobviously that helps your mind andeverything I try and speak with my wifeor my brother or my mom in the day justto kind of cheer me up and I might stillbe in a bit of a funk to the end of theday but the next day it all washes overrather than me dwelling on it and thenhating myself like throughout the weekthat kind of makes sense so it'sfantastic that it's been like two and ahalf years and there for yourself comingoff it but if you ever do find yourselfperhaps going a bit lower just knowthat listen mate you've come out of itso many times yeah kicking and fightingyou're doing great that it will be okayand you'll be alright you next thing Iappreciate I know and and such know whatyou said I've learned that saw so ondays from the rule of and you you won'tknow why but you just have to take sometime out for yourself and on those dayseven today I've made wake up and I mightfeel a bit low I know I know deep downthere is something causing that maybenot the day before maybe not on that daybut a week my ass something I didn'ttackle where it was on my to-do listwhich is still bugging me yeah orsomeone I didn't talk to or someone Isaid something to which is bugging mebugging me now and why I feel low so Ipersonally I think there's always a rootcause somewhere it's not always easy tofindmmm there's always something that'sthat's led you to feel that way I thinkyou're right there somebody elsementioned this actually I think it wason Episode three and it's about findingthat that deep meaning and I thinkbecause we're so most of us wake up inthe world whatever is on our phone or Iemail a job it will it will dictate ourdate we very rarely get time to sit backand actually reflect upon our life ourcircumstances in our situations and Ithink if we could do that probably haveless of those days because it isprobably a cumulative effect of thingspropping up and then you've got thislevel of like I don't know burden oranxiety or something that will kind ofjust hit you on one day and you'resitting there thinking what's going onhere but it's actually like you saidpossibly something that's that'shappened a few days ago that's powerfulso the funny thing is it's like there'sno like magic secret is there they'renot I mean if there was then the worldwouldn't struggle a bit like Fitnessyeah if we had the magic pill nobodywould be obese and it's kind of findingI suppose did you touched on it earlierhis voice you've got this toolkit nowyes the the antidepressant tablets helpyou control the chemical imbalancethat's going on but you've also got atoolkit of stuff that you've probablyhad through your therapist yeah thosewho probably gives you different toolsthat you can literally bring out as andwhen you need them because that's kindof how my mom explains it as well ahundred percent like I'm kind ofreinvent the tools they gave me to workfor meso something that I do massively when Ifeel extremely anxious I don't if you'veseen on my Instagram or that bar splitpage into and I'm one on one side Iwrite my negative feelings and emotionsand on the other side I write a healthypoint of view and it just helps meconceptualize how I'm feeling it kind ofbrings you out of my brain onto paperand kind of I can actually write down adifferent way of or view in it mmm yeahyour Instagram is brilliant and you'regonna get the oddest friend requests bythe way because I've asked my mom tofollow your Instagram because some ofyour stuff is like I can't get some ofit like I get like 80% of it send mebecause I've lived with my mom my momwas like my best well she is my bestfriend and and I'll sin what he's donelike taken away from her life so it'skind of I know that if she can read yourmessages and listen to your poetry Imean you know huh no gtv sorry yourstories your Instagram stories it willhelp and it resonate with her so yeahI'm obviously gonna put all the linksfor the listeners as well to know yoursocial medias at the end of it because Ithink it's really important that you'veseen someone who's yeah you you're notfully 100% over it at the minute butyou're dealing with it and you'redealing with it in the best way and eachtime you're getting better betterequipped and hopefully somebody who'sprobably earlier down the journey theycan benefit from yourself and this isthe whole point of this podcast is thatthey can learn from your your experienceof suppose and hopefully change theirlife for the better sooner exactlythat's that's the thing like I am NOTI'm not perfect I'm not free to stormyou never will because life justfrustrate you all the time I've come andbut the only thing I can do is just tryand help people through how I try tohelp myselfmmm and you are so yeah just try and beas real as I can on Instagram you knowlet people know how much it days becauseInstagram is a is a fake world really itisn't it's a highlight reel is which iswhy I appreciate like your content sokeep that going buddy I'm gonna switchthe pace a little bit now so I know someof the stuff that you do on a dailybasis but I think it's important for thelisteners who have heard about yourstory to understand what your dailyroutine is like so I'm a big bigbeliever that we are the results of thethoughts we tell ourselves and reallyhabits and so what's your daily routinefrom the moment you wake up to themoment you go to sleep well or every dayis different and I'm not gonna I can'tlie to you hmmI don't have a daily routine I'm stilltrying to work out myself in terms of Iknow what what would work well for mebut I haven't put it in place so I'velistened to one of your podcast one ofyour early ones about the guy who usedthe miracle morning that's right yeahchin very good friend yeah I knew thatwas a great podcast by the way thank youso yeah I bet the miracle morning thingwas last year and I started putting alot of things into practice in themorning not felt great and but thenexams came around again from my accountsand I just fell off it well I havecertain things I do during a week ratherthan a daily routine a daily routine issomething I'm working on in 2019 okay Ineed to incorporate meditation I need toincorporate leaving my phone out of myroom in the end of the day because thatjust adds to anxiety mm-hmm so thingsthat I do on a weekly basis to try andhelp me and relieve my stress is numberone you probably see a lot on InstagramI love my Costa Coffee yeah I love goingthere by myself taking a book readingmaybe writing some poetry just sittingthere watching the world and just beingcomfortable in my own thoughts I love myalone time now and another big thingdaily is Jim obviously so I usuallythrough that after work and it literallyjust puts me in a difference day ofnight it's almost like meditationabsolutely almost like meditation andyou're just there with your own thoughtsmusic in or not and you're justconcentrating on pushing the way upyou're not thinking about your pastdecisions you made you not think aboutthe future you're just in that momentthere and then so that helps memassively another daily routine mealprep obviously every morning but yeahI'm I'm still learning I'm stilllearning about routines and I will haveit together soon but like you've toucheddown there even myself my routinechanges from like year to year becauseyou always you're almost tweaking it soI've done the whole waking up at 4:00a.m. and then working my ass offbut then what would happen is at twoo'clock in the afternoon you not crashand let's sleep for like an hour and ahalf because I'm absolutely knackered sothen I was like this is pointless and sothen I mixed it up and now it's likeI'll wake up at 6 or 7 it depends onbasing my day so if you'll get an earlypodcast or I forgot like an investormedium or something like that then I'lltweak it but generally speaking I don'treally care what time I wake up becauseI believe it's what you do in the daybut you've got some great habits inthere like like the gym the meal prep Imean that you're feeding your bodyyou're feeding your mind there so it'sabout utilizing your time and takingchunks out of the day where you canreally be productive in terms ofwhatever your end goal is and a greatbook that I've read that is gonna helpme put that my favorite Wiens practiceis called the room of the rhythm of lifeby Matthew Kelly the rhythm of life okso I know you you follow my mindfulfitness page yeah yeah I do I'verecently just started following thatyeahthat's that's in the making and mytherefore mindful fitness is stemmingoff that book really so what walks aboutin that book is you have essential meansin life to survive so you have you haveoxygen you have a young Ward so you needthose things or you will diebut what people often neglect is theirlegitimate needs and there's four ofthese and we collect them because we'retoo busy day today which is sofast-paced in our lives and but thosefour needs our physical needs sonutrition and exercise emotional needswhich is relationships with people wherethat's going to get coffee with a friendtalking someone haven't talked in a longtime then you have your spiritual needsa bit harder to define for me it's justbeing being comfortable yourselfspending some alone time with throughmeditation going for a walk in natureand the fourth one is intellectual needswhich is knowledge and learning newthings and we often neglect a lot ofthose and one trying to do is encompassthose in my life and try and help peopleencompass those in this because when oneof those things are off that's when youranxiety will spike yeah yeah that's sointeresting that's powerful I'm gonnaI'm gonna attach that book actually therhythm of life by Matthew Kelly you saidyeah yes brilliant Kay I'll add that toobviously you're you've got to Instagrampages as well would you at the bottom soI'll have a look at that I appreciatethat buddy thank you look into thatfantastic okay sothe next question is about adversity andwhat I want you to do is if you could goback in time and think of a time thatyou faced great adversity but youpersevered through it so just oneparticular time and I want you toexplain how you won obviously theadversity to how you got through it andthree what are the lessons that youtaught you at the end of it oh JesusChristget your thinking cap on okay my figuredyou know you know I said to you beforethis podcast you sent me the questionsin that and I was gonna happen littleread about them you haven't read all ofyou know what last night yeah I upgradedmy iPhone on Saturday and it deletewhatsapp conversations lost by a 10o'clock and I was like sheets messagesjust suck up do it which is why I thinkthis episode so far is so intriguingfascinating because everything you'resaying is if you know it's not youhaven't scripted it out it's literallyjust you speaking from the heart so Ialways find that more authentic thereason I do give the questions thatbefore is just because some peoplesuffer with is ie exactly okay well youhear anyway the question has been askedjust have a have a few moments again anydead time and stuff I can always edit ithow so I'll probably cost me becauselike a particular situational momentbecause there just been so many my lifeand I've had to come out of wellprobably my latest one is justqualifying as a child accountant loadsof adversity faced there whether it waswork just not seeing myself was goodenough in septal workout producing theknowledge that I have and just comparingmyself to others that within my firmsort of thing and yet having to go backon antidepressants was a big blow for meit helped me massively enough if anyoneis taken out to the presence there'sabsolutely nothing against them I was ona about 20 milligrams a citalopram ifany of you listeners know just stop givethem the information and I've been onthat for about three years since I likemy jobthere's no comment and slowly slowly Iwas prescribedten just before Christmas so 10milligrams taking one every day for twoweeks and then I take one every otherdayfor two weeks and now I'm in a processof just taking two tablets a week forthe next two weeks and I'll be off themand yes I defects for anyone gran outthere there are massive side effects soI did feel a lot more rumination comeinto play so just kin stuff very a lotmore emotional and very snappy er peopleclose to me I love my family so Iapologise to them on here I'm sure Iunderstandyeah and very very tired and lethargicbut now honestly I feel amazing honestlyI really do feel good brilliant mateokay so the next question it's we'regoing to get to happiest if I show youso today it's a memory but but the nextquestion is what is your biggest fear mybiggest fear is probably going back intoa depressed state massively that's mybiggest fearand the fear of that I think helps mekeep keep out of it and is that throughyour daily discipline like the stuffthat you doing the stuff you you'resaying to yourself 100% like things Isay to myself just be more open andtalking now and actually feeling like Ihave something comments to pursue like Ihonestly believe I've been through whatI've been through for a reason aseveryone will probably say but I'm onthis earth not not to be an accountantlike I love my job and I love the peopleI work with but my true calling is justto help people help themselvesjust bring me talking about experiencesand everyone can do that and you will doyou helping me and I've gone through itmyself even just some of the stuff yousay you know it's making so much moresense but we are a result of the thingswe tell ourselves then just on thatpoint I think that's really importantit's something I'm trying to get my momand anyone on all going through thatsimilar situation to do as well becausea very very quick example a little bitabout myself is yeah suffering withanxiety and be shy I've always basicallywalked looking at the floor kind of likewith a hunchback if you can kind ofimagine that so my hands in my pocketand I've never really making eye contactwith anyone and I'm just kind of walkingand I remember recently I think it wasabout two weeks ago we went for somefood and I saidmy friends I hadn't seen for about sixmonths and he goes have you gottentaller and I was like what like pubertywhen a long time ago me and he was likeno you've gotta be like taller and I waslike well I've always been this tall soI'm like I'm just six foot eight sixfoot and I was kind of like just thesame height as in and you kind ofshocked and what I realized was so I'vebeen doing like affirmations and tellingmyself stories every single morning ispart of my morning ritual and one of thethings is I am confident I am no longershy I am and I would say well theseempowering words to myself and withoutrealizing it without even thinking aboutit my physical body had changed which Ijust find fascinating that's somebodywho I've known for like the best part of16 years had come up to miss it manyou've just grown a few inches but it'sbecause my demeanors changed now mychest is proud and that there's no levelof arrogance or anything in that it'sjust I'm just confident knowing myselfand I'm not this shy anxious person whoscared the world or what people will sayabout me I'm comfortable in my own skinand the other thing about you is you'regoing to the gym and you're gettingbigger so that's probably right myfoodstuffs I do try and eat outbrilliant so we spoke about your fearwhat is your motivation then what keepsyou going even on the days when you'rein a funk for example lucky gentlemanwhat keeps me going is knowing I'm herefor a bigger reason than myself mmmdeep down when I still help him myfamily around me helping friends helpingpeople I don't even know and that reachout to me not try not good as much as Ican but just believed I found somethingcaught truly believing and anyone outthere like I know how hard it is to notknow your purpose it like be being a jobor be a plan for job in a union not knowwhat what a fuck you want to do of yourlifeyeah and it doesn't matter how would youget it I believe one day we'll justspark like if you asked me a year agowhat when I do I have no idea andwhereas things have just lightssparking and you know pulling into placeand that will happen for you it's justabout whether you're you're willing totake the risk to go and pursue thosedreams that's all it is I love that thatis so true and I think I always urgepeople now so even like my youngerbrotherI urge people to just try new things anddo different things because 12 monthsago May being a podcast host wasprobably the last thing I'd ever want todo other than it'll be an out of a planeI mean and I'm at I'm actually debatedwhether I'm gonna do that in the nextyear or so jumping out the plane safelyshould we say yeah trying anything crazyobviously with it with all this rightpeople around but it's weird how you howyour passion just develops my actualpassion now is like you said it's makingthat true impact it's making thatdifference in life so yeah the beautifulthing with that is is forcing me to comeout of my comfort zone hence doing apodcast hence putting myself out thereon social media and doing this podcastopening that business with more mommiesit's crazy to think that I would havebeen doing this because I just didn'tthink I would so I think you've hit thenail on the head there people shouldjust go out there take that risk trustthat it will fall into place because Itruly believe it won't but at the sametime everyone's journey is different sojust because it's falling I think inplace for somebody out there he doesn'tnecessarily mean it's going to be thesame for you it could be at 22 or itcould be at 50 but don't don't comparebasically what I'm trying to say exactlybecause I've people might look at me andsay oh he's a qualified accountant hesaw it for life now I'm just I've chosento go part-time comma salary you knowmoney doesn't money you need itunfortunately you need money but I'mfocused on my happiness right now whenI'm going part-time to to actually gofor what I truly want to do okayfantastic so there you've heard thebuzzer and we are now in the fun part ofthis show so this is a quickfire 60seconds where I'm gonna be asking costsall sorts of wonderful and weirdquestions and the beautiful thing is hehasn't read the show notes so you haveno idea what I'm gonna ask him andthey're not the same questions as alwaysI do like to mix it up a little bit butso please are you ready buddy I'm readyokay we're gonna start in 3 2 1okay the ability to fly or be invisiblefly money or fame fame singing ordancing singingNetflix on YouTube that thinks Marvel orDC I don't watch evil okay Batman orSuperman Superman favorite TV show everoh Jesus Christ soprano would you ratherhow you will die or when you were dyingwhen I would die love or moneylove books or movies books if you couldsit with one person in the world for anhour who would it be my sister yourworst fear growing up getting older whatis your biggest addiction Instagram ifyou could abolish one thing in the worldwhat would it be depression yourfavorite song ever compete J : Drake anysongs French or Spanish Spanish pizza orsteakthey comedy or horror comedy and thelast one which is completely randomwhich is wizards which is the funnything is I wrote these like a long timeago so I'm looking at it myself to getwhat okay brilliantthe answer about your sister as well Ithink I think she's gonna love to hearthis back I'm sure you tell her anywayon a daily basis but if you're anythinglike me sometimes I shy away fromtelling the people I love the most Icare for him so much and it's probablysomething that I should do as well butso we run to the one but last questionand this one's always about reflectionbecause I always believe hindsight is awonderful thing and upon reflection wecan always think of ways to get to wherewe are quicker easier or we lessheartache and we wouldn't be the peoplewe are today if it wasn't for theprocess I've been through so what I wantto know is if you could go back in timeto that one moment where you reallystruggled and suffered with adversityand you could just whisper something inyour ear knowing exactly what you knownow what would you say say to yourselfoh I probably tell myself to tell peoplehow you feel and because yeah it'sextremely hard even by looking back andeven the you for today it's hard toexpress how you feel whether that'sbecause you're gonna be mocked on socialmedia your friends won't understandbecause of different maturity levels ahyeah just be just just talking about howyou feel just talk about it I love thatand I want to get you to do if you don'tmind one of your poems now I thinkbecause you've been through it youcouldn't you can hear the passion inyour voice as well are you just beforeyou start this are you thinking aboutdoing books or ebooks or anything onthatOasis I want to release a bookpoetry book and also I'm in a process oftrying to gather to do like spoken wordevents okay um so I wanna go and performpoetry and and yeah it's funny how Ionly started writing I used to writepoetry a lot for Mother's Day cards uhmy mom she's probably got loads of poemswhich is quite handy because every timemy sister would ask me what we shouldget my mom article I'll just write whatlast year I went to Cyprus and mygranddad was writing poetry in Greek Ohwhat just about turmoil he's beenthrough in his life and stuff I wentover to Cyprus by myself actually justto save my grandparents for a coupleweeks and I thought you know what maybeI should try writing down stuff as wellso it's the one I'm gonna read is thefirst one I wrote in Cyprus some of someof them when I write them I can kind ofI don't feel this way anymore but cankind of go back to how I felt and writethe emotions down which is yeah yeahwhich is quite good for me and so yeahthe one I'm gonna read this the firstone ever wrote when I started writingproperly and it's called him him love itlet's go all right so here miss just thegame playing with my mind an easy targetfor him he always seems to find healways seems to be there to put me in myplace lurking a scheming like a puff ofsmoke all up in my face and I are closedmy eyes praying that he'll go but in themorning he's still there he always seemsto show he follows me constantly like ahovering dark cloud I turned to look atmelook at him in the face sometimes and hesmiled was also proud what did he wantfrom me what about done a question everyday my whole life he seems to have takenand he's here to stay but one day itseems to click and I look all aroundhe has no physical presence so how canhe be so profound that's when I realizedI'm living in the past and future withmy other thinking mind an easy targetfor him he'll never ever find Wowthat is powerful yeah and there that'sthat's about depression may that's atalent there you know you've got may gotmany talents you work out well you'vegot the accountancy going for you you'vegot this poetry going for you yeah andif your aim is to like change change theworld for the better and help people whohave been through similar situation toyourself like you know it's going to beexcited understand I mean people likeand we've never actually met in personbut with people like you is voice allabout as well I appreciate that and it'sthe reason I love doing this is becauseafter after speaking with somebody Ialmost feel like a new level ofconnection if that make sense so it'slike I see you like as a friend now Imean I've probably spoken to more indepth about personal stuff than I dowith some of my friends and butgenuinely like my hand is here if younever need it if ever there's anythingthat I can help you with in the futureif ever there's times that you feel andor anything because it is about justhelping each other up because there'sgoing to be times where I might needthat for example yeah 100% you know I'mhere absolutely hit me a messageabsolutely I appreciate it and you justkeep doing what you're doing because Ithink you're gonna you gonna inspire somany people and like I said my mom'sgonna be fun in you hopefully today Ididn't tell you yesterday so alrightI'll look up no pages yeah she typesquite funny I was always left for thembecause she taught me like the onefinger thing and it doesn't always makesense but I just think it's importantbecause I think any age any demographicsor whatever it is your message is justtrue we are at the last question now forJenny and this is a question that Iasked all of my guests and it's if in150 years time science is unable to saveus and we are no longer about and allthat exists is a book and this book isabout the story of your life it's astory that you've written moving on fromnow up until the day that you sadly passaway what I want to know is firstly whatdoes a blurb say about you I a summaryto make someone you really want to pickthat up and think actually I'minterested in this person and secondlywhat would you call the title of yourbook OhI think my book would have to be apoetry book rather than biography andthe title of the book I think would bememoirs of an anxious mind and the blurI don't think would say too much at allit would just say I don't even know apoem perhaps that could kind of sum upyour yeah a poem that sums up or just aman in his mind just an anxious mindfull stop just something plain andsimple and the poetry and the poems willspeak for themselves about thesituations about the feelings andemotion that's powerful I think you alsolisten to episode one I thought youmight have not been getting this by herewhy keV and the beautiful thing withKevin's as well because he's my boxingtrainer he's a lovely chap but he alsodoes poetry as well yeah and I just findit I find it fascinating because likekeV you do poetry and I listen to acouple of years as well and we're in theprocess of kind of resurfacing himbecause he's got him in like normalbooks and I'll say maybe you could selfpublish it get it out there because Ijust feel like really hit yourheartstrings so it's powerful buddy it'sbeen an absolute pleasure I just want tothank you for your time again andapologies for the stuff in the morningobviously it took us about 30 minutes toget skies it's got going but at leastyou managed to find your voice yeah theshameless plug there from the morningbut what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna putlinks to all your social medias that Iknow but if there is anything else oranywhere else you want people to findyou because I think it's important thatpeople can follow your journey andpeople can learn from you learn from youyou can maybe help them if you wouldn'tmind where's the best place to find youthe best place for me is probably mypersonal Instagram page which is cmklifestyle and then my other page whichis up and running and I want to stop ita lot more up there as my businessexpense is mindful fitness spelt withdouble L and actually spoke incorrectlyby accident but actually actually worksreally well now and you know there'sactually a funny turn on Instagram youcan only one person can have a name inthe worldyeah for a name so mindful fitnessdouble-l was taken so I originally hadto call it mindful doc fitness and Ifound the woman she was in a miracle anda person who had mindful fitness and thename and I said to my friend I'm gonnamessage her and ask her if I can haveher name like we can switch and wouldlike don't be silly she's not gonna dothat so I sent her a long message I seethem two at the MS they're like Iliterally spilled out my heart out toher and asked if we could swap names umand I've got a message the next morningand she said she'd be happy to for $50so I sent over fifty dollars a night andshe's got mindful dot fitness sofantastic yeah see that it's all of itsall about sliding into DMZI love that okay um are you active onany anything else or should we juststick to Instagram for now Instagram fornow and then I'll be expanding prettysoon fantastic and obviously once peoplecan finally find you on thereyou're quite active in terms of yourstory so they can obviously fun of yourjourney I'll be finding your journey mayit's been an absolute pleasure speakingto you this isn't going to be the lasttime you speak but obviously offline ifI can help you in any way and vice versaI'd like like you're helping me you'rehelping my mom as of today and you'll behelping many other people as well so Iwant to say thank you to you and to thelisteners at home thanks for listeningand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 7 - The Way I Changed The World - Mus Jones Yafai #7Tagline: "They are willing to do this, no matter the circumstances, no matter the time of the day, no matter who you are, they are willing to take your child, no matter what!"Mus Jones Yafai is a wonderful human being who needs your support in raising awareness for his wonderful cause, Child Safe. Having experienced a child abudction attempt on his younger child Mus has made it his lifes purpose to ensure the public are aware of all the ways possible to safe guard their children and other peoples children from abducters.With shocking statistics, it is the first time in my life I felt scared for anyone with children, for my younger siblings, for my own family members. I felt somewhat oblivious to all that was going on, only to really be woken up by this.I urge you all, to listen to this episode or at the very least follow Mus over on his social media outlets and help support this amazing cause to better safeguard the children of our future generations.P.s. it is not everyday you hug a grown bodybuilder the first time you see them!Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yafaichildsafe/ (Child Safe)Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mus.yafai (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/childsafe1kickstarter campaign:http://kck.st/2UuLWPM#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoicewelcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAaron do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aaron due toanother episode of find your voice myname is Aaron and as always I am thehost of the show so it's very rareyou're gonna see two grown men embraceafter an interview in fact you're notgonna see that because I never recordedit but this individual was an amazingperson that after this interview weactually we had a moment and I say thatbecause I thought a true connection tothis person and I trust my gut feeling Ihaven't been a social worker in myprevious life this is a person who's outthere really trying to change the worldand more importantly what he's trying totackle is gonna affect almost everysingle one of us because it's aboutchildren and that's one of the mostimportant things in the world if you askme so I'm gonna literally jump into theinterview you're gonna hear about anamazing person who's doing amazingthings but he's also had some incredibleexperiences something that I don't wishupon anyone so without further ado let'sget this interview on the way okay so Iam sitting here now with moss so how youdoing today man good very goodalways and yourself very well than thecold yeah thank you for taking timeevery day I think it's important forlisteners to obviously get a story aboutyourself from you because rather than mykind of narrative yeah so if youwouldn't mind if you could just give usa little bit about your life maybe yourupbringing just like key stuff that youthink would be important and relevantfor this story and then we want toreally touch on the word that you'redoing today which I'm really excitedabout but be good to get everyone tojust get to know you a little bitokay well I'm a family of 11 Wow okaysix reverse two sisters we grew up in athree-bedroom house wasn't easy but wewere so it was fun and scary at the sametime see living with strict Muslimparents okay no people tend to stillreally know about it's not about thereligion it's about culture the cultureis completely different I did aboutChristmases I do like birthdays but thatmade me appreciate life even more nowespecially with my children yeah I meanso I'm very grateful to have the littlethings with someone tries to give me agift now I'm not well then so growing upyou know growing up I played Lockerbieokay I plan to the playing professionalwould be the age 80 after playing rugbyand then when two universities my degreeafter doing a sports degree no idea whatI was doing constantly searching for itand I always wondered what is it whatI'm going to do in life until now Ibelieve we all have a destiny absolutelyno matter when it will happen in ourlife we don't know as we keep searchinggood surgeon and I found when I stoppedsearchingI think everyone's trying to find theperfect age I suppose yeah or they'llsee somebody else next door to findingit that's not necessarily your storypeople these days well they see was theysee the value of money objects as wellyou know you know I do as well you seesomeone if I want to do that look wellthen you realize they put that hard workin I haven't just been handed it to andthen this day when their work you knowtheir lives to get those things I alwayssay that I think it's so easy to look atso you see people on Instagram forexample or Facebook and they'resuccessful they've got a nice car moneyand you like it's easy for them well isit really easy for ya do you know whatthey win through the power sisterjourney and actuallyyeah okay that's interesting so youdidn't use your degree actually touchedon phase of your path so eleven childrenin your house are you the middle one theolder young yes are you the young oh yeshe's a pretty one yes we are at theCouncil of four children okay justbefore we go into this it was mine ofcourse so you've got your degree yourealize you're not gonna do nothing withthe degree I can relate to thatyeah and you do something now what'shappening in between here is this momargue just be lost the wall no this isall found one supposed to do now this iscompletely and it took something tragicfor me to find it but there's nouncertainty in my mind and now what Ihave to do and it's for the rest of mylife it's there's no doubt it's like I'mfinally happy it's it's an amazingfeeling to know what you're supposed tobe pond why'd you were put on earth forand this is the feeling that we need togive to everyone else to find it it'sthe most amazing feeling ever youwouldn't you know what you want to dolike I said life is not about just goingto work every single day to work yourwell for someone else and then just togo home yeah I'll see you happy kidyou're happy then just go work if it'sup to me obviously we have that passionto find something we'd love to doabsolutely and then spend the time withthe people we love that's what lovesabout I mean you have to do somethingyou love to do in life there's no youcan't work just to end your lifeI suppose it's a shame though societykind of teaches us that that's the normof course it's go to school get a decentbread innocent that's it retire at 65make sure you've got pension safesixty-five no we can do it now of coursethe white decision is in the rightaction okay so fantastic so we're gonnajump into the bit that I'm excited aboutyeah so I just thought of a name youknow I want you to elaborate I want youto explain it or it's gonna be the firsttime I'm listening as well okay sohopefully the listeners will will getexcited as much as I am okay what I'mgonna start with the Nana neighborschild safe mm-hmyeah bread more than that well I'll tellyou the story and how the story came sobasically my three-year-old daughter wasalmost taken from me the 7th of October2018 at 1 p.m. and Lidl was doing mysupermarket shopping it was the craziestscariest feeling I've ever heard of mylife I'm just doing my shopping asnormally doing but I noticed this manwalking around the shop he had enoughfusions constantly not taking any foodup no do no shoppingso I'm a partner there's something weirdhappen in the shop he's everything Icould just feel it and then he carriedon following us around a shop and theyjust I tried to ignore it but not knowat the same time because just when didyou involve with children your parentsdid you're the protector you have to doanything you can't just keep them safeso we get to talk when we're doing putenough into the into the trolley andthen Otis joined our queue and he's gotnothing any sound so I'm just like okayand then I've put more daughters as bothAttilio there's normally an edgysomething like that sent them enoughfood in the toilet and then the exits toour left and with kids it's alright sowe're standing and then he just wants toplease shut down I said okay something'sdefinitely having no and she's donepause I'm gonna go get ice concert Kim aperiphery looking at him and then hewalks past in the queue so he's leavingthe shop but he doesn't leave the shophe walks then to the right and goes itsix six market and I'm like don't tellmiles of him whatsoevermom my head's like is he gonna dosomething is he not am i playing trickson myself I'm not just reading into thistoo much is he generally just a normalman just stand in their waybut it wasn't that case unfortunately hedecided to get close to my daughterclose to my daughter and then I saidtime upon again I said he's about to dosomething which is like he's not doinganything so I've turned back round givehim that chance to see if he does turnback round again he's then about to pickup my daughter and run out the shop withher this is where like I completelyfroze at first because that was a nutmuch shock you just like you know a lotof men would say why didn't you do thiswhy didn't you do this and fortunately Ireacting the more perfect why you're noteven around my kids and I've got both ofthem put them both behind me and Istared at this man I said you just triedto kidnap my daughter mmm the thing thatbaffled me them even more he just stoodthere said to me do you even sayanything did you move didn't do anythingjust the best there and I mean I'm likeyou just tried to take my daughter turnwhat are you doing nothing so now I'mstanding there I looked at my bondanother man comes running through theshop grabs him in a bow the most is thatpeople slamming body doesn't do anythingabout itI'm shouting this man telling me tellinghim he's a toy yeah everyone's carryingon with their shopping no this is thething that I'm trying to get people torealize that we need to stick togetherinto these situations we all need toeducate on child abductions mmm I'm chodcrimes so we are aware for otherpeople's children I'm just trying to putmyself in that situation even as a boyand a girl go apprehend that or what youmust have been going through andobviously the whole reaction side andstuff to it people can't see you on thispodcast you're a big guy you know a guythey're gonna rob something from likeI'm being honest I would go tea yeahit'd be intimidating for me so you justprove she's come out absolutely provedto me they're willing to do this nomatter what I mean this is at 1:00 p.m.in the middle of the down I'm doing myshopping you know I mean the tauntingyou least expect under the times whenthey're gonna try and strike because weare get so complacentday to day lives we're gonna do myshopping my kids this it was a vigilantthere and I'll sometimes done stuff Idon't know it's a bit of drivingsomething you drive something you knowdriving yeah of course do you know yourdaughter pilots subconsciously yes thescary thing is especially my mom ponderkind of beat yourself up for a becauseshe for a long time she couldn't dealwith cuz she knows and even or no and Icould say she day she would have beengone if I was in there yeah come onpartner didn't see nothing she's verybelievers in their own world she shewouldn't think there's someone trying totake a dog especially so close to homebut this is the thing we're gonna makepeople realize it does not matter whereyou are in this country next country ishappening people do these things andit's scary that people know people don'tknow anything about what happens we seethe films that's how you 2018 last yearwas I speak like people don't know therewas 1189 actions with almost a hundredthousand attempted a child yeahManchester being in this countryBirmingham's third these every yearsthey're very high and people don't knowanything about it yeah I mean I was asocial worker in my last life yeah Iwent back to uni and looking afterGeorge was always kind of a my dad Iwant you to be the best social workerfor children yeah wonderful children ourhopes and feel your passion in hereobviously you just can't do somethingelse that's crazyso did the police did you get the pieceabout what yeah obviously I'll gone into speak to them I'm in the shop so I'lltalk to the manager I said listen I needthe CCTV the finish of the story I'veactually ran out to the shop I've got mykids got something and they was they wasstanding in the middle of the car parkthey were just basically and I'll run upto them again just to say listen you'vetried to take my daughter the police andbecause I'm stealing that much shock heplayed in my mind he tricked me he waslike no noI didn't take your daughter and I'm justlike he's not my wife is in the shopshe's got a full trolley she's waitingin the queue okay let's go back in soI've locked the door but other kids Isaid I'll be back in a second soobviously as I've said that about Debwalked off quite quickly so I walkedback into the shop they did have a womanwith him but they had no shopping allright so that as I've gone in them threeare running out the shelf so this is thething we need to reload they're workingin groups and we can't judge the fuckthe male or female a comedy with afemale and two groups to try and track achild obviously though maternity thinkthat woman has with children they doinganyone would do it but yeah of courseyour point he was just scared to knowthat a woman would be in that group aswell so this is the thing that I'mtrying to but try to have one that notjust for our kids for other people ofcourse as you said we see things how wethink we would do it other way oh wegotta realize everyone is different Imean I already grabbed it do you knowall these kind of crazy but you don'tknow well okayso thank God no of course all of thatfrom that what was your process then sothen I went to the manageras for the CCTV footage he said there'sa code they have to get from the headoffice the police the police I said okaywe're gonna go down and get the head andget the code we'll get the CCTV footagebecause all I wanted to get that thosefaces out to the public so they knowwhat they look like and they can beaware from it you know what I blame thepolice for a while because I kept goingobviously every weekend to do my foodshopping you do kept telling me thepolice I'm pinned down you the policestation again I said what's going on waswhen we bend down and we said we have wesent police down there okay what'shappening this is the way for the codeI've gone down to little again I saidthey come to get the code it was like nono no one's come down yet and I'm likeokay what's this quite strangeafter three weeks gunned down againanyone in all come to get the code Nocome down yet four weeks have gone theCCTV footage has rewritten gun this isthe thing I've gonna made my socialmedia I make videos about the policesaying calm believe what they've done tome then they let me down those foul butthis system was fine filed by the policewell I wasn't the police went down threetimes little failed me right they keptlying to the police telling them thatthe code haven't come down yetthe code don't come down yet yes ofcourse it is so they let me down theycompletely let me down they didn't getthe code when they never attempted toget the code in the first place whichwas their heartbreaking comment whichyou know it was all never those facesyou mean you know I never thought forthat was gonna happen I never knew thiswould be the outcome of my daughterThomas being taken from me as well sothroughout life things are gonna happenwe're all gonna go straight faced yougoing to go through stuff that it's notfair some stuff is out of our controlyou have in that moment day I supposeand moving forward of course two waysyou can either take it or you can takethose actions when you're in controlyourself control you change the world socould you explain a little bit moreabout this net so we know it's calledCharles Seife yes it's based on thestory that obviously you went throughthat horrific moment there's so firstlyI opened up a social media page so howdo I reach the people these days it wasall social media so my way to reachpeople with social mediatold my story which I think are 10 to 15thousand views share it compared to myvideos now I'm not yeah of coursesuppose I mean how many ever got so manyviews on it and that's what then enticedeveryone else to follow me what I wasdoing so what can I do to challenge itfirstly I just like okay I walk aroundsupermarkets are warriors shops yougotta move it here you get to Birminghamwhen you see signs everywhere sayingcriminals in action watch your carsthieves here did nowhere is that a signtelling you that child abductors arenowhere is someone that someone may takeyour kid I know that people might notwant to see that unfortunately this isthe life we live in people need to beaware I mean I would let my daughter aworld did let more daughters run aroundthe shops let him do what they want youknow me no one's gonna tell my kid butthat's not the way life is now so sadya know I'm even going back to when Iwas young doors are open in the housescause it was a community yeah I think itis a problem and I'm guilty of thismyself I'm sure listeners can resonatewith this is like even now I mean I'vegot lovely neighbors on both sides yourhouse because its head down I'm gettingon with my life course and Tokyo yespose because but the thing is you say wehaven't got time but stuff like this weneed to make it non negotiable onJupiter and we have okaybring it sorry sorry trucks yes okay sofrom there obviously I've got theseposters and I'm like I need to getsomeone designedI've never done anything - where do I gosome was like the graphic designer I'mlike okay I'll go speak to so that isonly he doesn't mean oh I have thisimage in my head and what my designlooks like and then can you do me aposter poster for me and I'm like oh mygod this is amazingso I'll get thousands of posters printedI'm using all of my own money I'm betterthan everything I possibly can into thisand then on this social media page I'mtelling everyone who was a help who wasa help memessage of the message after message andI'm like what the hell I didn'tunderstand I didn't realize this isgonna I'm not okay I'm gonna I'm gonnahave to take the you count by myself I'mlike this but I hate I mean I've had now3,000 followers among them to free fastfollows I'm a group and my page I've got900 almost hitting the thousand I'm mypage and I'm just like messages someparents telling me what an inspiration Iam teenagers telling worried aboutasking me for four posters saying I wantto help I want to get your posters outthere I want to put them in the shops Iwant to post your fly for the door andI'm like I wanted to make a differencewhere I'm noticing that everyone elsewants to make it fits as well at leastyeah so I spend the first few monthsending posters here Thursday and I'mlike I'll totally get in around in thisarea by the hillstar which everyone I'mlooking it's up in Yorkshire sucked downsouth it's it and so from there knowwhat do I do nextfirst we need to raise the awareness sothat's the main thing we need to dobecause people don't know what'shappening so the main thing to me was toraise the awareness to everyonemmm-hmm well and I'm like this is goodit was not good enough no where do I gofrom hereyou know what I went to met this mancalled Oliver he messaged me and saidcan I meet up we are because I love whatyou're doing up and he was an amazingman he's been for a lot of things aswell our kids he's weren't in prisonsand his scene is but with people and heseen so much of his stuff and heeducated me and so much it gave me thisknowledge I'm not okayeducation that's where I'm goingeducation so that's where I got to startand that's why I'm gonna finish we needto educate the country and educate ourchildren on the dangers because ease thechildren a this is happening to sochildren don't know what's happening hmmand as parent you know we do as welleven if you tell you know what I'll tellmy daughter things she won't listenschool she's like the best pupil becauseI thought I'm an authority figure tellthem something they were listen andlearnso I need to get into the schoolsdesigned with the kids because the kidsare on the games and there was over ahundred children you know they have noidea about after doing research if youwant you're gonna win this country ofcourse but it's just like no one's herepolice like after getting them up on aloved it because they said we used to goto the schools and do the strangerdangers and things I mean yeah yeah butwe don't Lisa V Cohn anymoreyou ain't got no police we can't sendthem down you guys we need the police inthe streets and because of what'shappened in our stabbings or the theftschild abductions or child cards havebeen pushed to the back you know I meanbe this it's absolutely we need to makesure it's gonna be safe for now so I'mgonna dust the plantbut that's just the beginning of courseso with the school I'm not okay I'mgonna go to my doors prime school Ican't go down so promise don't saylisten this is what happens when you getthis is the tips and you need to know soI had a bear designed cord captainCharlton okay so how can I get two kidswhat do I do monkeys to teach them areread books to them every single nightand you know what they're nuts sometimesthey love this in their favorite butthey even recite them to me as I'mreading because they beat him so muchI'm like I'm gonna make books I'm gonnawrite books at the moment for booksbooks the first one I've just sent offfor editing he's come back and it'samazing I love itwhich is based on a true story calledthe supermarket okay so the first storyeach story will educate the children aswell as be fun which will also educatethe parents because we need to educatethe parents as well because parentsdon't know this parents understandwhat's happening so we say to theparents the kids can't stay next to meso I mean I'll where's he gone book wedon't but there's no sense of panic whenthey have gone always probably in theother oil so for me to then show thatmessage that in the supermarkets withhe's capturing child safe so he's thehero you know say Whitney got Sly Foxhe's the one in every situation we'lltry and take the job so in eachsituation in each book there's always ahappy ending right always a happy endingbut in happy so that's how I'm targetingthe younger age is to to a to the otherso through story and because the thingis also okay I'll do a program for thekids at the primary school what kidsforget within 10 seconds before going tomention span as well but somebodyspeaking of course of courseso if I went into a smaller I teachingthem I'll go in there once I'm not gonnago in everyday online so don't forget assoon as they've forgotten I sit insidetheir head so if we do it for a storyit's gonna be read to them time and timeand time again and being Brennan totheir brain and they know as they growupno calm run off in the shop because if Iwanna finish shut the slyfox mindgetting out that's what I'm trying to doand feed into their brainWow I mean like you said when youstarted this you had no idea no ideawhich way to go goes the books yourNorth in our liver said this isfascinating so you you were talkingabout raising awareness then you've gota fantastic Facebook page and all thisstuff will be in the show notes and I'llshare it as much as I possibly can aswell okay everyone's life's busy coursewe're gonna hear this it's gonna touchmore people as hearts but some peopleare gonna touch them for a bit and thenthey're gonna get on with their livesyeah of course if they could just do onething that's very very quick that wouldjust help your message whether it's likeis it as simple as just sharing yourvideo or these leaflets here you've gotavailable put in one of those oh thisI'll have my leaflets these days I'llpay for our print they're all free ifanyone wants posters they're more thanwelcome to us they all have to do isdrop a message to my page I will thendeliver send it but yet the Flyers andthe posters are free I've had caustichas done as well which these are soldand my website is gonna be finished justcalled child safe okay they're stickersI have t-shirts made it's Ruby sorryright on the page as well where all themoney that I'll music space or my ownmoney or the world I've worked for andany profit made it all goes into thechalk on to the police there's somethingcalled active citizens fund okay and I'mwaiting for the approval of it approvalof it because I can't go into theschool's intended I can't go to thosekids and be like yeah as soon as theylisten they need something to read totake the information they need the tipsso they concert can keep reading oh andalso show the parents because there'stips and there for parents of what theycan and can't doing or should orshouldn't do even to let them childrenbe safe yeah and stuff you were gettingearly and I'm like I I get that becauseI'm sitting here now midway through thisand I just want to help you like yeahI'm gonna help you right noweach and Brian this will probably comein I don't know a month's time for weekstime because of the schedule bumblerthis needs to be out there now so upuntil that timeoffline after this I want you to speakto me as well and let me know of courseI've got a couple of friends in theprinting industry as well okay and evenif it is quite a few favors can you justdo the first thousand free listen thisis going to stuff that's going to changethis world the world hundred percent youdon't mean and it's most people aregonna have children in their lives or nochildren of course find of children tomake sure that there was no why even notthe people just with children peoplethat don't have children need to knowthat so they they are aware as well sowhen they see someone talking to a childand they and the child is acting in thecertain behavior that don't look rightthey can step in and say excuse melittle one you okay is this your dad isthis your mom I mean so they need to beaware of this is for everyone it ain'tjust at first I generally thought usedto the parent and I'm like you know whatthe best one that happened to me thisgirl I want to be waiting just cuz Ifinally realize what I gotta do ifyou're like okay this is just this is mymissionthis is that's my mom this isn't ourmission so this is I'm just doing whatI'm supposed to be doing so this wasbuilt message me tell me one inspirationa man that and I'm like okay well thankyou flyershe's messaged me again and I said shejust put thank you so much again fordoing what you doing you helped me savea life what do you mean I helped yousave a lot she goes I was in memory Hilldidn't shopping because I've seen alittle boy were in on the shop and he'srunning down there and there's noparents and she said all of a suddenman's grabbed his hand and she saidshe's lucky that she's run over to thisbone and said this dust on your son isit she he's let go I'm enough so she'sobviously she said because of whatyou've doneyeah you've educated me to be vigilantand I've saved the boy's life and momscome were in that shock come here my sonshe's like some manhood and I'm like ohthat was the maddest even that was likeI'm tingling that was the best feelingDonna my message is gonna buzz it istenit's working that girl is now savedanother kidswe almost need everyone to know nobodyso everyone's singing from the same hymnsheer supposed because there is atendency are suppose even we're notwe're not gonna have for example and yousee tail up without us and you see likesomebody may have been a bit like overlyaggressive speaking to his wife you knowPyrus and suppose you know should I jumpyeah should I know it's always that kindof know your limits know your boundarieslast thing you want to do is go in andthen even she turns around he's likewhat are you doing I mean no couples allyou don't yeah anyway we need to jump innot justify just to stop and profess ifyou're not jumping into joining thefive-year someone because you've hurthim what's the point you're just doingthis bad as that privacy really don'tmake money to join in just to stopbefore explain this and you guys explainthis like the best I supposeintervention methods for the phobiapercent I figure of someone who'sprobably gonna be anxious to do thatalthough we need to do it yes I've saidbecause I had so many messagesmmm-hmm when fortunately I reacted inthe perfect way of what government mykids and everyone else should do that aswell especially if it's someone elsedoesn't matter if it is that or is momand you think they're acting the way ofjust grab that child's hand and ask ifthey're okay and you're not do nothingbad it's so many people telling me sowhy didn't you beat him up and you knowwhat I didn't know there was a group Ifirst turned to me there was one man soif I've jumped on this Mannie my doorsare never seen that go my children arenow panicking I'm on top of this manbeating this man oh all of a sudden Ilook up there my children are gonebecause the other two in the group oftank in themwe can't this again how it's almost likeyou actually reacted in the yeah it'sfortunately that's not me notfortunately I acted in the perfect wayand grab muchOh No maybe he was the decoy to get metogether you see I think it's plenty ofvideos where there's somebody who I seenone the other day sorry I'm going a bityeahthere's a piece of delivery driver on amotorbike you know the guys robbed thepizza from the back of the day okay andas he's run off the guys that my pizzahe's gonna deliver it so he's chased himto the door of someone's run on his bikeyes but it's a similar kind of qualitybecause they saw suppose house Wow didthey use our brains again so it's init's in our interest to act 100% the wayyou act you children your children isyour first priority in life no matterwhat you were the first thing scrubberJose Cuban said don't need don't worryabout Emma don't worry don't grassydon't jump on him it's if you have yourpartner with them or someone else getyour pond it's a cup of kids and theydetain that map you know mean see thisis arrest that manthat's it you don't you don't wanna stopbeing an absolute yeah the fault ofsomeone taking your child is that partbreaking you will go too far you maykill that man and then you're still notgoing to see your child anyway okayfantasticI could just speak about this for like awhole day I'm conscious that the show isit in its own yeah of course and so Iwant to kind of find out more stuffabout you yeah a little bitI'm just it's fascinating it takes acertain type of human being to do thislike I said I'm in my social life I saida lot of people or moms from like anursing background I always thoughtthose kind of people with that naturethat caring nature the world needs moreof it and of course they need moresupport so if I could support you afterthis podcast I'll do that thank you sosome of these questions now this is moreinterested I always think it'sfascinating when I when I when I sitwith people at yourselves you've gotsuch an amazing story so I think routineand daily habits are where we are inlife for example so I look at successfulpeople like okay he's doing this I'mgonna just take this from his dailyhoney I can explain from the moment youwake up to the moment you sleep how is aday that it's all routine I've got aworking with you you know whatI see most times in my life I neverworked in routine and you don't yourbody is a machine your body is acomputer whether you like it or now youneed to realize that your body in yourbrain it all workson repetition so if you do somethingyour body knows the next day it's gonnado the same thing so and even to ourmotion because I've still never plannedout course we don't happen so I have thekeys marketed before I leave the housejust in case anything does happen to meso that's what I do and then I get upI'm on a routine time I'll just try myso then so I've got my routine foodclothes give some love to my dog to work[Music]this is me hundred percent so I'm gonnago to work come back home spend sometime with children you know what you allget so focused and forget a lot ofthings sometimes and sometimes we forgetour children and you know I'm she wasdoing 70 80 hours a weekso we just spent fun it's on soon as Tomgoes sammartino go to the gym in themorning I tell my kids to school whenI'm saying it seem normal because I'mdoing the key thing is I just wannastare is you've got the routine causethis is so important because plan planplan plan plan like I did before mrs. Inever planned anything Moloch was allover the place watch your reactiveimpulse on the moment live for the daythat's all it's one of the things sowhen I gave up my job I had to getroutine in placeI'm scatterbrain yeah everyone knowsthat regimented from the moment I wakeup similar to yourself Anderson evenstuff like I have to have a liter and ahalf of water so nutritious ineverything is so regimented of coursebut you get so much more done becausebecause I've got no time I guaranteeyou've got you probably said no but it'samazing stuff you're doing now you'vegot three doors as well yeah you'redoing all this amazing stuff you'reworking out as wellI know you're in competition prep it'stough I know what it goes through menteeto use that that way in everything sothis Lodge we live in this live fromwhen people are going freejust doing the easiest things possiblejust to get through the day no meanthere maybe you go to the pub have adrink of a laugh or no but this love yougot a challenge yourself man everysingle day is supposed to be a challengeI mean if you ain't challenge yourselfor fluff about no mean cannot do thatlets covergirl let's do itI'm scared of that let's do the scariestthing possible man cuz that doli thosethings will give you those amazingfeelings no if nothing else will giveyou that feeling it's impossible hundredpercent I mean I always say at themoment your brain tells you should we dothat or no do it do it cause that issomething that you need to do yeah ofcourse that's where you're talkingyourself know a little bit like we spokeabout just before a stylist podcast thereason I'm doing this part I have to dothis yeah I have to do this and it's notabout me and I keep saying this thispodcast is nothing to do with me like mystory's not on here but this is aboutpeople like yourself yeahbecause even if I get 5 people to listento this and to share your story andthink child thing's safe enough I lovethat model stuck in my head lookee whathe said it was yeah if we can stop fivepeople that my job is don't do of coursethat's Michael isn't that 5 or 10 saidsomeone else and then that Forbes orsomeone else and then the word passes onthat that's it that's how the worldworks it's all gonna do we're gonnachange each other's mindset to makepositive impact you know what happens tome every dayit's just it's no even downpour this isa teenagers well I didn't expect thereaction this is one of them adoresfence follows me on Instagramno I've seen his post and he was on hisstory these poornamed neo gliese girl in my class andthen the only boy in my class andeveryone's going in on itno what is this boy doing so I have tomessage it no I don't know himpersonally I saw I saw a young manthat's like we can't judge people wesmell up to us the judge I said youmight affect someone's life really backspeople are putting four names on thisthing I'm a man I said we need to dosomeone else we need to change watermake it positive let every wheel I saidpeople will love you more if you dosomething good and tell say who is theprettiest who is the best of footballwho is the funniest and then you knowwhat I was expecting a little teenageryes he said to six laughs he deleted itpeople who defeats the funniest and hethinks the face he got so many morecomment soon he had so many people hewas reported look how many more peoplecommented now because it's a positivemessage I send you know yes so that wasa wicked never write anything like thatas a kid because simply we gotta havethat emotional intelligence whensomebody create new almost constructivecriticism AUSA's which is hard to takeas hundred are you going stuff but asI've dropped my ego as I've grownthrough life and personal developmentit's easier now 100 would I had thatintelligence Isaac as a kid so if I seesomething like I was driving yesterdaydo you man see people said really doesno people think that maybe we may haveall bad bad things happen in our livesand he's supposed to choose how we dealwith them problems and happy happy or wegonna dwell on it and be set for therest of our lives this is what I need toteach people we need to teach people alot of people think they're stuck in therock yeah I mean they don't know how toget out and this is their life nowthat's how they'll be with celebritiesthis is a message to perform coach edgewe're all in control of our destinyeveryone is in control of it well Easterday tomorrow in a month we are controlyou say you want to go do that so manytime you put the hard work in and it canget donethere's notice things are possible kidssay I carnate a word in my addictionyeah yeah you know body get rid ofthat's one of the first Birds I got ridof nano magic screen there told oh manhe's powerful you remind me of myself soyou'll meet my wife one day yeah hopeyou have this we hundreds ain't gonnakeep in touch I'm sure died for thisbecause I I'm one of the most emotionalpeople like you'll ever see for a guyyeah I like I've done the whole boxingscene may I do that all day but you showme a sad story when I see someone hurtwhether I normal not I I don't know whatwhat happens to me but I feel they hurtand you almost want to just say look letme take that away from you know kind ofthing like we bless we're looking evenbetter listen people like this yeah wehave such big hearts and we came herehave that emotion to give to everyoneelse so I used to so I'm gonnafront-engine here I just have this thingwhere a leopard doesn't change this busand all we believe people could havechanged and I've interview somefascinating people are gonna cook onhere and they've changed their life aswell yeah so I've almost changed my ownbeliefs to sort of think everyone's goodbut we sometimes make bad decisions yeahof course we do and I think if we cantry and like you said chain thatperception get everyone thinkingpositively doing good things will itcome and I used I used to be scared ofsaying like I want to change the worldright yeah because it's that you changethe world you just don't just a normalguy whatever I'm like okay I want tochange the world I can't do by myselfit's a bit like you say you don't knowhow you're gonna get there but you justtake one step on it I'm gonna get therethis is the thing that you don't dothoughthis is why I attempted to do I wantedto know I wanted my boy I did and I'mlikecompletely burned myself out and I waslike I even doubted myself there is toomuchI mean in my Eskimo convict's a pictureof my kids there is I was in the paperrecently there's an established news ofpictures the article to remind me ofthat day you can even use the analogy soI always talk about how to finishbecause it's a part of me you want toget to where you want to get to on yourdate so one thing always trying to dowith people is I wanted to get involvedin the gym or some sort of activitybecause that's the transferable skillwhen you master it you can take it intoanywhere it canthe next question is about adversity soif you could think of a time whereyou've been through adversity you'vecome over it you know more versity myluck was you know I gave my love to somany people for one more friend and itwas the hardest seems to be for me to dookay so much love and I generally foughtmy friend on me back my life and then Iremember sitting down watching BobbyKahn you did a little casting session hewas like we need to figure out why youlove the people that don't love you backand we know you know I never reallyfigured it out till you Vince it upuntil now and the main thing I had to dobecause there were bad people I didn'tunderstand why doing do things like Iwould call my friends daily asklike they'd go for trial tribulation soI thought I'll be thereI mean I know we're doing the stuff thatyou would have done for this yeah coursebut I generally thought that's whatfriendship is yeah you know I mean but alot of people see friendship as is hegot something for meand you know what broke my heart manremember cry my eyes out dedicated tohim and never got it back no and then Igrew and then I met some other peopleI'm not are these clothes cool and i'madjoining with these and then the samething happened again man I'm like Iblamed me I mean I'm like this issomething wrong with me when I'm ondoing what about done this must besomething wrong till I met my partnerthen we got kids they love me yeah musthave never done anything wrong like I'vedone bad things I never do Bettis topeople don't know I've always hadpeople's backs and I never understoodBrian and you know what people want tobe my friend or he would talk to me andneed help I'll never stop change it'snot can't change that's this theme I'mnever gonna stop changing but I'velearned to never expect it back that'smy wife sister is something about theseat home I'm not gonna call the systemtheir expectations and that's theproblem so when you come from a goodheart in everything you do you expectthe person to reciprocate that in thesame way as yourself only did it causeand it doesn't weather and I learnedthis in solar even in the property gameor I've had people reach out and Ialways take it on face value I'm likeI've got no reason not to trust you so Itrust you straight away yeahso when they telling me all this amazingfun right this is fantastic then all ofa sudden there's a hidden little oh isthat one yeah then I used to startthinking is that the reason that you'reyou're nice to me for youafter all this time and I'm here likewilling to do anything for you I supposepeople sit as a weakness oh yeah so thatyet people could see as weakness byPegasus strength days so powerful whatyou're gonna go on and do yeah and Ithink as you go through this like youmentioned a guy earlier Oliver forexample yesyou're gonna meet Oliver's in the worldgym right he was the first same userJohn who's the first person a person ohwow these people don't know what's goingon this is what I want yeah I wanna youare an influencer of the people youaround yeah of course you you when youstart spreading this you're only gonnatrap genuine people yeah because I'mgonna become a millionaire supportingthis but I'm gonna change ahead of a lotof lives do and if that's somebody'strue purpose lie like it is mine yeahwe're gonna back this season mean thisis amazing I mean not the fact that Igot 3,000 followers in what's it'sOctober November 3 to two months it'sjust two months man and I'm like thatmany people want to make a difference aswell this is like changing my timezoneby a thousand a million because thatmany people actually want to do it wejust need to get it in their eyes getthem seen this it's not I didn't evenattack a lot of work doesn't take a lotwhatsoever all it takes is that littlepin on the board this podcast yeah andeven it's just them viewing it they arebuilding the knowledge we're not evenknowing they're getting the knowledgejust by watching the videos I don't knowthere's I mean I just think it's anothersocial media page okay cuz I've there'sso many social media pages and I see somany videos but we tend to get enticedin this board into the funny video whenit comes to the serious things peopletry to forget about it don't want to seethe serious book they have to is youcan't forget I know what your answer isto the next question right and it iswhat is your biggest fear you touched onit basically idea I know anythingopportunity kids before I had kids alittle bit stank'sin sports I was the best in the Midlandsand even now like you know I guess Ifelt like a failure to my family as wellI still I believed I was gonna changethe family my family's lives I stillbelieve that now there's no I'm stillgoing to so that feeling never wentwithout failure okay okay so nextquestion I think you've kind of answeredit again it's kind of just aboutmotivation song yeah what motivates youyou know I'm still human this is thething we've got to remember that we arestill homeless okay so on the days whereyou don't feel like getting out of bedand doing the stuff what we mud Smokieseveryone says that's somethingyou know before I was my kids was to bethe best so if I didn't get up in themorning and go do that run someone elseagain up in the morning doing that runand then he's gonna be better than me soI don't want to be that loser so meansob I'm doing it soon as I'm like a cakeyou know now someone's going to sleep solet them sleep I'm gonna do some moreworkyeah I mean that's how that's what I wasmy motivation to be the best I mean itschallenges and those sort of thingseven other people mana motivate me wehave to learn more about ourselves wellknown as why we might abandon ourselvesbecause we want to do this we want toget this far even if it's the motivationto work hard cause you want to go buy anew carI mean for some people that's they thinkyeah cool it's not necessary my there'snothing wrong with that or I do what youdo so I do this thing right and ifsomebody doesn't understand all goingthrough a person development Statesgonna think I'm crazy but I do thisthing so I'll go to the gym for examplenot Sam do cardio I hate cardio isbecause I then start talk to myself whoelse is doing this at this timethat's only I'm doing it I hate it butI'm doing it and I kind of like almoststop digging myself up yeah yeah whathappens you start feeling more confidentpowerful and then it's like then I'll goin for like a gym workout and the laydown but nobody else is doing thiswhile I'm working 16 hours a day whatI'm trying to do this one time and it'sthat self-talk and I suppose the reasonwe're doing so much done is because alot of my life I was talking to myselfthe way the negative people had spokento me you know you're shy you're anxiousyou're this you're that and he wasalways those kind of stories thosetelling me now it's like the story Itell myself is the story I wanted Thomasyeah that's gonna bring me out into theworld in new ways it yeah so so dopeople don't be scaredthis is a thing don't be scared if thatbus is bigger than you or the challengeis bigger than you you guys think okaythen let's tackle this i'ma take youdown so now we're at the fun part ofshow so we're gonna start in three twoonethe ability to fly or be invisible flywhen your fame Netflix our youtube neverCoke or Pepsi Pepsi would you rather nothow you would die or wake you withoutlove or money no books or movies moviesit with one person in the world whowould it bewhat is your biggest addiction to winsummer or winter winter your favoriteplace in the worldspeak all languages will be able tospeak to animals in the world what wouldit be you favor some Emma voice the manin the read minds or forget the teacherGod have you ever been in a fight okaycool so the next one's about reflectionso I believe that how it's a wonderfulthing because as we've spoken aboutalready yes so you can always think ofways to get there quicker easier withless heartache I suppose but the journeyteaches us a lot of course it does Ithink the process is so important so ifyou knew what you knew now unless sayyou could go back to say before yourdegree for example yeah and you couldwhisper something knowing everything youknow now to that to most at 17 forexample what would you say you know whatit's probably tell him it's gonna beokay it's you're still alive it'sbecause you know what when you gothrough the trials or tribulations inyour life those things feel like theylast forever don't you just like yeahlike a week from then and what's on themenu here from then that won't evenmatter now this all was I wish I couldtell could've talked as I dwell too muchon the bad that was happening in my lifeand whenever someone made a mistakeevery time someone bad happened to meI'm not boys happening to me again whatam I gonna do and if I could've justThomson don't worry about it yeah don'tdwell on itit's okay it's a case no I tell myselfthis all the time now through everythinglike we are so lucky to be where we arein this world are you still alive Korsoso if you're in that situation and it'sthat hard but you still know there'snothing than someone no one can takethat away any long as you know no onecan take that away from you know me so Iwish I could have told myself that Wowokay last question okay okay so the lastquestion I always ask my guess is if in150 years time science doesn't save usright and we're no longer here andthere's a book on the table now and I'mgonnaand a little bit to this crystal as wellso there's a book on the table in it'sabout your life right so what I want toknow is in any order you want firstlywhat is the title of the of the book andif we turn it on the back you knowyou've got blueberry there what willthat tell us about you okay the bookcalled the world I think it'd be thatwill be I've always wanted to change theworldand like you see so much bad happeningthere's no way I'm gonna go from bridgesand I'm gonna come over and there'sgonna be everything that's good thisthings are gonna tackle me these peoplethat may even go against me no I thinknow sometimes I would have to savechildren's lives here but there's stillgonna be people out there I neverthought I'd have one person at all so -and the one I did I'm like yeah ofcourse in them do something positive isexactly what he went on I'm trying to benice and said back into this and thatwasn't Denise yourself I'm referencingwhat I've got it from unrest he's doinga quick Google search he got the firstthing they said look at this no no no itgoes deeper than that and then then Iactually said to him in the end I saidyou got so much energy because look howmuch I said use that good that energyyou got tackle it someone new and tellsomeone about what I'm doing that's thelast thing to do everyone a message it'snot just about giving the people themessage that want to listen yeah yeahsome people will find it at the wrongtime but it's in the beginning yeaheveryone's journey is different ofcourse the information is there youmaybe you just keep you've done your jobthere long as you've told all thosepeople always gonna come like I saidwhen I release this podcast blesseveryone frame even reviews it I've gotsomething like 65like five-star reviews right you know IlookI was overwhelmed but because it's notagain like I said like I said to youbefore this is about touching the peopleout there and getting people storiesheard and I send a 3-star like in therejust randomly no comment nothing I'm aBravo message me actually I'd be upsetbut I know the way the world reallysomebody's got the energy there probablyhas a listen to an episode I understandthat person's stories you know whatwhat's he doing it on Facebook threestone because it is the way the room mymission is one person finds this and itchanges a life that's going to rippleeffect yeah there's always gonna bepeople trying to bring you down nomatter what you're doing in lot justtake their energy and then use it to thepositive and then we're gonna do morewith it you know bring you down justbuddy that's the end of the show youngman oh what a pleasure what an absolutepleasure but just before we leave yeahI'm gonna put everything in the shownotes or all the links and everything toCharles Seife to yourself to yourpersonal page if you don't mind courseof course hopefully we get you likethousand friends after this new peopleif you could just tell us the bestplaces that we could reach you ornormally ask my guest to give one yeahbut because I'm literally this is touchmy heart yeah Facebook and my socialmedia pages child safe so got the bothgroup and the page controls medicalchoices yes child safe there are otherlinks on their choice at UK they're alldifferent ones but what you're lookingfor is an orange circle we're the childsafe wound across the middle with likecube right in pink blue so that's whatyour that's the symbol you're lookingfor so I'm my group and on my page sopeople on my group opposite the groupyou can hit a wide you can hiteverywhere on pages on our people youcan it's on the group the group yesthat's the public because with your pageyour page can only hit the people thatFacebook to try and get it out becauseit doesn't always show of course so cuzyeahI'm a group do I put butt off do bi doboth but the group mainly I'll puteverything on the group and put it onthe page okay like just to make surebecause there's some people on the pageInstagram child-safe one chance everyonemistook child-safe but you know whatthis is the thing like when I starteddoing this you gotta realize there's somany people out there doing it not doingthe way I'm doing it there's so manypeople that have different platforms aspeople go out there like justice forchildren hunters for children they'reall out there they're doing an amazingjob of capturing all these online soprops all of you they're doing anamazing job there so and there's peopleout there do not block my page raisingthe awareness but no one's doing whatI'm doing this is what I believe I'mdoing on there on Wednesday next week mywebsite we've finished where there'll betips and how-to on child abductions inthe streets and these tips of what to doand helplines what to call on youronline Grumman's things you need to lookout for know situations and onlinegaming clothes we got all the kidsonline game at the moment every dayonline so we need to be aware of thisand what to do and what they're doingyou know I mean you put I've put my mindin there I'm thinking what would I doand the things I've found out how theydo it you know so you can then be awareof the things they're doing so CharlesSeife online code at UK and there willbe my t-shirts or sounds people want tobuy any more t-shirts also more costbecause they're one pound fifty each sothose are the pages now have okay so allthat stuff will be in the show notesand as always people thanks forlistening and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and 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Find your voice - Episode 6 - Stay strong by Hezron Brown #6Tagline: "The impact I was making & seeing was unreal. To see their face and actually light up and think Hope!"Find your voice - Episode 6Hezron Brown, has been in the papers for his incredible story. As a child he was tragically burned in hot water which has left him scarred for life. His life then continued to spiral into a life of drugs and crime.Somewhere along his journey however the idea of belonging and hope kicked in. Hezron self belief, which he accustoms his now success too is a key factor in him finding his true purpose. Hezron is now inspiring the youth who need to hear the message and realise that there is hope for them irrespective of the cards they have been dealt as kids.There is more to a life of death or jail.There are more opportunities if we remain commited to succeed rather than just having a slight interest.It's a remarkable story of seeing some change, something I was always skeptical about.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hezron_BrownInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/hezronbrown/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and this is a classic thisis somebody who I actually reached outto I'd say about six months ago and itwas following a news article that I sinthat they were mentioned in now theywere mentioned in this news article forhow they turn their life around andthat's kind of the stories I really loveto hear but I need to make sure that thelisteners ie yourselves you're gonna getsomething tangible from this and you'regonna get some life lessons and let metell you you're certainly gonna get somelife lessons now maybe many of us can'trelate to the way that this person wasbrought up or some of the stuff that hedid and I think he's held his hands openhe said I've made a lot of stupidmistakes but more importantly than thatif you listen to his story there's a fewmoments and we touched on it halfwaythrough the interview where he wasgetting signs he was gettingopportunities he was getting peoplecoming into his life giving him thechance to potentially turn it around andI thought that was a really importantpart of the story because I think evenourselves in life we sometimes getopportunities but because we're soblinkered or a mindset isn't thinkingthe right way or our perception isn'tright we sometimes miss theseopportunities and we spoke a little bitabout self belief and confidence andjust having a vision and I think that'sso so important myself for example Ihave some crazy visions but what I'verealized is by having these andexpressing them to the world and beingaccountable I'm seeing moreopportunities come my way and I'm notsaying these opportunities weren't therepreviously butmy thoughts and my processes of how Iwould interpret things were differentI just wasn't taking advantage of him sofair play to this person he's done anabsolutely fantastic job he turned hislife around he was very close to youalmost having no life so I'm verygrateful that he made that step when hedid I'm very grateful that he also tooktime to share his story because he'sgoing places remember his name he willcertainly be I think a household namevery very soon simply because his storyis one that you can't replicate you'veeither lived it or you haven't and thisguy has lived it so without further adowe're gonna jump straight into thisinterview with hezron Brown ok people sothank you for tuning into the show todayand I am honored to have hezron Brownhere with me today so firstly I justwant to thank you for taking time outeven your day today buddy no problem howyou doing today I'm fine thank you verymuch how are you I'm very well thank youI believe you were working as well todayis that right no no well I wasn'tworking I was I was more kind ofconcentrating on myself okay building upmy self today yeah that's still kind ofworking I suppose okay fantasticum what I want to do is obviously I'vegiven an introductionprior to this show about your life and alittle bit about your story but I thinkit's important for the listeners toreally understand you and hear it morefrom yourself so if you wouldn't mind ifyou could just kind of give a wholebackstory go into as much detail as youwant and just really try and let theaudience and myself get to know hezronBrown yeah that's no problem at all sofor me all kind of started when I wasfive years old I he fell in a bath ofboiling hot water and burnt the upperright hand side of my body so my arm mychest and my stomach I actually had ajump run at that time and when I fell inthe water all of my skin had melted overmy jumper and when my mum came up sheripped my to rip my jumper off out ofpanic and because of that she ripped allmy skin off so all this skin that'sactually on the upper right hand side ofmy body is actually from my legs I hadvarious skin grafts I was in hospitalfor numerous mumps getting all thoseskin grafts to kind of correct correctobviously what happened oh well at thattime you know when I started going toprimary schoolkid's gonna understand why I looked theway I did and because that reason theystarted to call me names started tobully meso from there I I I do that's a reallybad anger problem it was something thatI couldn't control okay and I would justget angry at every single little thingand he got to the point where it wasjust literally out of control to andfrom school I was always fighting I wasfighting in school as well and I thinkfor me the reason why I developed thattemper was because I didn't want anybodyto call me names again I didn't want tofeel weakagain and I kind of said to myself I'mnever gonna let that happen to me againand because of that my rage and mytemper just kept getting worse and worseand worseWow even though it was affecting me atschool it was affecting me at home aswell and my relationship with my mum youknow my mom was a single parent I'm oneof five children so you know it wasdifficult for my mum to actually kind ofdeal with what I was bringing home rightand there was times when I was gettingso angry I was throwing my wardrobe downthe stairs punching holes in doorsbreaking windows you know like it wasgetting out of controla lot at the time my mum would have tocall the police because I was gettingthat enraged that she was scared for myown safety and she was probably scaredfor her own safety as well of course wasthis around did you say eleven years oldat this point yeah yeah when I was 11that's quite a young age isn't it to bedisplaying so much anger yeah is it isthis is what I mean like my temper wasjust yeah it was it was uncontrollableand he got to the point where I wouldliterally black out so I wouldn't evenknow what I would actually be doing orwhat I was doing until I actually cameback around and it's like the only way Icould come only way out and calm downwas if I punched something not someonejust something right I could just go andpunch a door or punch a wall or you knowpunch some glass and immediately mytemper would go immediatelyand so yeah it was just it was it was itwas quite bad it was quite bad so I saidlike my my home life wasn't that good ofmy mom and she kicked me out that timethere's one and I when I lived in one ofmy older sister's you know having totravel to school every single day fromTamworth because she lived in Tamworthand having to travel from Tamworth toworthington every single day I'm theboss in the morning yeah it was adifficult time but the relationship thatme and mum had was I would go homeshe'll kick me out I'll go back home shewould kick me out again that was thatwas always our relationship so a lot atthe time I knew kind of what was gonnahappen when I went back home I knew Iwas gonna get kicked out again butthat's where my home was yeah so Ialways wanted to go back so that wasgetting to the points where a monkeykicking me outI was sofa surfing I was going to I wasgoing to friends houses staying withthem they knew the situation that youknow I was in in knew that I had theseanger problems knew the kind ofrelationship that I had with my mom andyeah like when I was kind of goingthrough school school was trying to helpme to teach I'm trying to help me aswell for those that knew and you knowthey were trying to better me they weretrying to keep that temper out of methey were putting me through countsthrough counseling putting me throughanger management but nothing reallyworked nothing really worked and when Iwas 13 so my mom kicked me out again Iwent and lived with one of my friendsmm-hmm an amazing woman her name isDevon and she literally just took me offthe street I was homeless and I went toher house and actually went to her houseto actually see her son okay and afterspeaking to me for like a minute shecould see that something was wrong withme she could see that I was strugglingin some form of way and she invited meinside she gave me a she gave me a hotdrink and she said to me tell me what'sgoing on with you right nowso I did I told a lot situation I was inand like that she took me into her homeshe she literally made me part of thefamily every time when we was outshe saw someone that she knew she wouldtell him that I was her adopted son yeahit was yes she would she's an amazingwoman she's an amazing woman I livedwith her until I actually finishedschool can I just ask so you you findyou Vaughn and God bless her soul shesounds like a wonderful ladyand you said things were obviously shewas introducing you as part of thefamily you felt at home how did how wasyour anger at this particular time thendid you find that you were able tocontrol it or was it still still youwere still getting flares of anger Iactually wasn't getting angry when I waswith her I think it was just jus down tothe respect that I had I would never getangry with her but maybe if I was likestill go into school I was getting angrywhen I was a try but I was never gettingangry around her okay that's because howI seen it wasI can't disrespect this person thisperson has literally took me from offthe street into her own home and I hadjust this deep respect for her and herwhole family up until this day you knowI still see her I called her mom mychildren call her nan you know herbrothers and sisters I call them uncleauntie like I see her family as myfamily so that respect has never it'snever gone away never gone away so yeahshe took me in and kind of went throughschool life they're living at her housemy mom actually found out where I wasnow Yvonne that she lives around thecorner from my mom and it took her knowenough two years to actually come roundto the house to come and get me andYvonne gave me the choice she said wellyou can either go home or you can stayhere and continue to live the life thatyou're living but even though I wasthere and she took me in I always hadthis feeling that I needed to go homeand that that wasn't my home so I tookupon myself to go back home and livewith my mommm-hmm two weeks later she kicked me outagain and I was back on the street and Iwent and lived with my older sistersleeping on her floor one of my older ofher sisters and I was sleeping on herfloor she lived in a flatshe had two kids at that time my nephewand my niece and they kept see seeing mesleeping on the floor they kept comingin asking her you know why his unclehezron just sleeping on the floor mm-hmmand I think she got to the point whereshe just wanted to you know she justdidn't want them seeing that anymore andI to be fair I didn't want them seeingme in that in that position so she cameup to me and she said hezron there's aneighborhood office at the bottom of herflat so there was a neighbor laughs atthe bottom of her flat and she asked meto go in there and just tell him what mysituation was and see what they couldactually do for me so I went down thereand I I spoke to themI remember when I I stepped through thedoor I had six black bags three in eachhand full of clothes and I literallyjust collapsed on my knees when I when Istepped through the door and I justbroke down into tearsbecause I think it was that realizationof knowing that I actually had nothingand I had no one around me then wasactually truly supporting me and it'slike I kind of felt like I was a burdento to my family and I remember thiswoman came running up to me and she saidwhat's wrong what's wrong and I I toldher I said you know I haven't gotnowhere to go Liz there's no one aroundme that that can look after me and shesaid okay what there's no family orfriends I said no there's there'sthere's there's no one around just youit's just me and she sat me down in thechair and she said okay well I'm gonnatry and sort something out for you soshe got me a bed and breakfast I stayedin that bed-and-breakfast for about twomonths now I was I just finished schoolyeah so I finished my exams I never andthey were left with no we've no gradeslike none at all and at this point whenI was staying in that bed-and-breakfastnow through that time I was happy to sawsome money on my own food hmm all thethings that I needed to live on yeahabsolutely because because I was soyoung the so I went to the Jobcentre andthey they said to me are there'sactually there's actually they don'tdidn't know how they could help mebecause I was so young of course and ittook them quite a whilefor him to actually give me some moneyso I actually ended up going on toincome support okay and kind of theirdead back dated me but throughout thatwhole time I was trying to find ways tosupport myself and it was quite hardeven down to college educationno college wanted to accept me because Inever had no grades I actually wanted todo IT that was something that I waspassionate about at that time and theythey said to me because you haven't gotany grades there's there's no real waythat you can start an IT course becauseof the the level of entry that youneeded I eventually found a college thatwould accept me it was Matthew Boultoncollege and they were saying and theysaid to me okay cool like we can't putyou on an IT course straight away mm-hmmbut if you do this course in this coursethat you make up the grades that youneed to get in onto the IT course I saidokay like for me it was just anythinglike anything just something to occupymy mind something to take my mind offwhat I was going through at that timethe counts would have found me aaccommodation as well it found me atemporary but a nation in Hockley so Iwas like okay like you know things werekind of exciting to look back up jobcentered they put me on the incomesupport so I was starting to get moneyin I found education I've got my ownplace so at that time I thought thateverything was going great everythingwas going in the right in the right kindof order and when I was at collegethat's when things started to get a bitkind of like off-track right I will youknow skip lessons I was being in thecommon room all the time trying to hangout with friends I had met loads of newpeople that you know I didn't knowbefore and then that started toobviously play an impact on my educationhmm I finished out my first year it wasa two-year course I was on I've doneother media and photography and I'vecompleted my first year went ontoanother course with media photographywhich was a two-year long course and onthe first day I started I had anargument with my tutor over a can ofcoke and again I lost my tenwas there swearing I was punching thingsand the the head of the college wasactually walking down the path at thetime I was actually losing my temperworst timing ever the worst time in everand they phone security security cameupstairs got me and escorted me out ofthe college so at this point now I'vegot my own place money's coming in butI've got no education and I'm kind ofjust dusting around doing nothing andthen that's when things startedspiraling out of controlI started you know going to parties Istarted hanging around with people thatI shouldn't hang around with they spiedinfluencing me and even though I knewwhat I was doing was wrong like therewas no one really around me to say to mehezron stop doing that or hezron don'tdo that we'll show you a better way Isuppose well show me a better wayexactly yes that's exactly it showed mea better way hmmso I just continued to stay on the paththat I was on I started doing a lot offoolish things I was you know committingrobberies I was walking around withweapons I was I was doing a lot of sillythings okay and when I was doing thesethings I kind of I know kind of had noremorse like I was just like again I wasjust doing it to survive you know I wasstanding drugs as well and I was justdoing it to survive I was doing it totry and make money um and again as yousaid there was no one really around meto to push me away from it and put me ona better path can I just jump in therejust quickly I mean I've got sort of gotso many questions cause it's such afascinating storyyour relationship with Yvonne now hasthat completely broken down at thisstage or is it or is it a matter of youfeel you can't go back there now oh nono no Yvonneshe's as I said like she's still amother figure to me okay so she wasn'tshe was always still there oh yeah yeahshe she was always still there but againit kind of felt like to me like Icouldn't go back there does that makesense yeah absolutely and at this stagewas you was you taking accountabilityfor anything or was it just you know theworld's just doubt you shit cards andyourcarry on do what you need to do to getby that's exactly it the world wasdealing me this hand that I didn'treally you know um you didn't ask for itbut you've got it and I've got it andand I'm just rolling with itand that's just kind of what he got tohe got to the point where I was justrolling with it and as you said like forme my temper my temper has always got meinto bad situations like Mitchell IIlike even till now even up until thispoint like my temper has always got meinto situations and I know it's becauseof my temper and there's so many thingsthat you know I try and do to try andhelp me deal with my temper but when itcomes upI can't explain to you I literally justhave no control I literally have nocontrol and it's only when people see meangry that they go WOW like you'veactually got a really bad temper andit's hurtful really it's hurtful to hearthat to hear that you've got this thingthat you can't control and even thoughyou do so much things to try and controlit you can't and it's hard andespecially when you know that this thingis getting you into trouble it's ruiningrelationships it's ruining opportunitiesit's not serving you it's not certainlyany it's not so many purpose but youknow what I say that and so it's a it'sa tricky thing because times when youknow I was when I nearly got kidnappedit was my anger that kept me alive beingable to fend for myself being able tofight back that's what that's what keptme alive and so as much as I kind ofhate my temper I also love it becauseI'm able to protect myself in a way thatsomeone else can't protect me well thatmakes sense I does yeah absolutely itdoes make sense it's interesting isn'tit because I suppose in hindsight you'drather not have the temper but oh asyou've got it you've kind of managed toharness it at least to give you somesort of advantageor at least help you in some situationsif that makes sense oh yeah yeahdefinitely okay so you're now saying youspiral out of control what are youthinking like I'm justtrying to get into your head at thisparticular moment now what are youthinking is the future of hezron Brownthe future heads around Brown I actuallydidn't know what the future of headswere on Brown was as I said - I was justthis person that was rolling with E soone would say I wasn't I wasn't thinkingabout my future I wasn't thinking aboutmy loved ones I was just thinking how amI gonna get by how am I gonna surviveand how did that change them when did itchangewell changed when I got done for arobbery charge okay I got done for thisrobbery charge and it wasn't it wasn'teven it wasn't even a robbery like thatand as they grabbed my friend I hit thatperson when he was on the floor which Inever even realized cuz I actuallywalked up at that point but when he wasactually on the floor someone robbed himsomeone took his stuff now when thepolice came they they they they pickedme up and when they when I was in thestation they turn out to me and theysaid oh you've robbed this boy's stuffand this that do and I was like no andthey said oh do you know what kind ofdamage you've done and I was like whoaand the policeman looked at me and hesaid you did not punch him you hit himwith something and I said no I actuallypunched him anyway if you've been ableto do that kind of damage from a punchthat's scary and I was like I actuallynever even realized I even done thatbecause I walked off and when it got tocourt they decided to do me for therobbery charge so not for the assaultokay they they decided to do me forrobbery and I got found guilty of thisrubbery now I have to go for mypre-sentencing report and when I wentthere I stepped for the door and thisblack lady she came up to me and shesaid are you my next appointment I wentI don't knowshe went what's your name I said hezronBrown she said yeah yeah you're my nextappointment and she turned and shelooked at me and she said she totteredand she she said not another black manthat was the that was the thing that shesaid to me and from there I fought Wowlike okay like how much how much haveyou seen today yeah yeah and she said tome tell me everything just tell me thewhole situation mm-hmm so I did I toldher everything I told her what hadhappened and she looked at me and shesaid okay leave it with me I'm gonna tryand help you and I was like okay I don'tknow how you're gonna try and help mebut you know I'm gonna I'm gonna rollwith ityou know as I do and the night before mysentencing I remember sitting therethinking I'm going to do like I am goingto jailmmm yeah and my solicitor was saying tome you know hezron you're facing yearsin prison for this like it's not like ahalf month or anything like that it waslike you're facing yes so i sat therethe night before and I actually boughtmyself a KFC and I bought myself aMcDonald's and I just sat there eatingall these different random type of thingyou're like someone said to you whatwould the last meal be that's one that'sbasically white look like I had Big MacI had a piece of chicken I had somechips I had you know I wanted everythingthat I knew that I would miss hmm and itwas crazy like that feeling of thinkingI'm actually going to prison like it's ahard it's hard to describe what thatfeeling is actually like knowing thatyou're gonna see the outside world againmaybe for a considerable amount of timejust I'm not sorry I mention it in oneof my early episodes I worked in aprison for six months okay and justworking there me it was draining likementally because I was seem I've seengood people I mean I believe we're allgood but sometimes we do bad things andsome more than a listener and there wasthough some people in there who I methim on the streets or something I justthink they're just normally just nicepeople and when you see how little timethey get with their friends and theirfamily and how restricted their life isin prison it was so like heartbreakinginside and it was after that experienceI was like I am never getting on thewrong side of the law because I'm notgoing to give away my freedom and whenyou're in prison you they kind of justtake that away from you so yeah I canimagine how you must have been feelingat that pointyeah I think I think that's somethingthat's important something that youactually just said it's not thatsomeone's bad it's just that they justdo something bad at that time yeahabsolutely and you know a lot of these alot of the guys that are in there likethe women I window they're actually goodpeople but they've just done somethingbad just made a bad choice or a baddecision I always look at that I alwaysthink I think you know how we look at sofor instance we look at a celebrity forexample and we think obvious easy forthem but we forget all the sacrificesand everything that they're putting inbeforehand like hope the whole processand it's the same with somebody who endsup on the wrong side of the law weforget that they may have actually beentrying to sort themselves out or justnot getting a break in life and thensometimes something comes up andsomething happens and then they've actedthe wrong way which in hindsight most ofthe people that I've spoken toespecially in prison wouldn't have doneagain whereas you get some people whoare just literally straight-up crazyyeah they are straight-up criminals butgenerally speaking it is that and I'llbe honest I used to be quite judgmentaland think people don't changemmm again that was just my limitingbelief and now speaking with peopleinterviewing people especially likeyourselves and seeing that you're ableto do the amazing things which we'regoing to talk about shortly it fills mewith like joy in like happiness and alsolike hope and you know having that senseof hope that we can create a betterworld we can create a better communityand yeah we definitely canI always feel when somebody's been atrock bottom they can offer so much moresomebody like yourself who's been on thebrink of like you said you could havebeen stabbed for example you could havehit you in an artery or something andboom you're gone there is no more as RonBrown absolutely at the same situationyou could have been in the wrong placeI've hurt somebody else in their lifeand their future is finished so I'mgrateful that that hasn't happened yeahyeah so I went for my sentencing Iremember sitting in the dock I was satthere I had the the police officerstanding next to me although the guardstanding next to me and while I was inthe dock and the judge came here and sheshe said hezron Brown stand up and Istood up and she said I was actuallygonna sentence you this morning this washer work this was her words to me mm-hmmand even up until this point I stillhave not forgotten she said I was gonnasentence you this morning but yourpre-sentencing report was glowing shesaid I don't know what you didor here you spoke to mm-hmm but I'mwilling to give you another chanceWow and of the feeling I got inside myheart just my heart just my heart sunksecond chance that's you know thatsecond chance and I literally reduced meto tears and I was just in the dock justcrying my eyes out while this woman'stalking to me and telling me what she'swhat she's actually going to sentence meto but I actually just didn't care aboutwhat she was sending me because I knew Iwasn't going to prisonyeah but then at the same time I thoughtto myself I've just wasted like 20 poundand a mat done all day hey I see likeyou know thinking that I was getting mylast meal with actually I'm not theregoes a six pack you know like I wasstill grateful so she gave me a two-yearsuspended sentenceshe gave me two hundred and eighty hoursof community service and a four hundredeighty pound fine now this two-yearsuspended sentence was something thatmade me was was one of the reasons why Ihad to change there wasn't I never had achoice I had to change because what thattwo-year suspended sentence meant wasthat if I had done anything in that timeat any point if the police is beingcalled and I'm involved or Thunder I'mautomatically getting sent to prison andmy actual sentence will get activatedthat's how they put it to me so theykind of scared me I'm thinking no way amI going to be put in a situation whereI'm going to prison so that started toslowly change my mentality I had a sonalong the way as well hmm I had a childon the way now the relationship brokedown with his mom and I actually endedup taking her to court to actually seemy son now this was a battle that lastedin totally spin seven years now my otherpartner at that time she turned aroundto me and she said you know hezron youyou need to bet your life you're yourson can't grow up thinking you know thatyou was a gang memberthat you don't know these bad things hesaid you need to prove what you'recapable ofyeah I love that when she said that tome really made me it made me think aboutthe future I think that was the firsttime I actually really thought about thefuture I I can't be this person that Iwas before just you know doing all thesebad things I have to change there isn'tthere isn't a choice I have to I have toyeah and she was being able to get meinto courses so I done a parentingcourse I donehealth and safety I don't food safety Idone I done my IT never one two andthree I redid my English a masked man Iwent in I don't customer service skillsand employability skills I just I justtried to build myself up to a pointwhere no one could turn around and sayhmm wow you know you're this bad personit sounds like it was something thathappened in like a month's time or ithappened in like too much time and I'msaying yeah I've got this qualificationthis qualification this talkit took me yes yeah it took me years toget all that done but I was proud when Igot done you should be because thatprocess of you developing yourself andyour mind and picking up all theseskills that can never be taken away fromyou could never be taken away never betaken away and I try and say this topeople because maybe maybe it's my age Ican look back a little bit but sometimeswe spend that time trying to pick upmaterialistic things and stuff and we'renot training our mind no and that's themost important thing and you know I'mproud of you for that well done and Ithink that and the best thing with thatis it's taking you two years and I'mkind of glad it's taken you two yearsbecause now you know how hard it is andI suppose you can appreciate the skillsand skilling up and stuff so oh yeah100% like hundred percent um becausethroughout that time you know I hadnever had I've never had a job beforeI'd never had a job before at this pointopen to the age of 22 I'd never had ajobWow I was living off the system and Iwas unrolled as one would pull it I wason road you know when you walk around inthe street and you see that hoodedperson walking around that was me thatwas meday and night that was meWow so you know I've gone from thatperson to now and he said upskillingmyself train in my mind training myselfto be a better person and what wasactually a really big turnaround for mewas one day I was sat in my flat and Isaid to one of my friends I said youknow what I need to change I sat downwith my friend and I said to him I saidyou know why why do we do these thingslike you know why do we why do weactually do these things well and helooked at me and he turned to me and hesaid well we have to this we need to doit and from there I thought now I cansurvive in a different way I don't needto be creating heartache and committingyou know crimes to you know I mean toget him to go finally yeah yeah and Iactually turned to him and I said youknow what tomorrow I'm gonna change myclothes and he said what do you meanyou're gonna change clothes I said I'mgonna change my clothes because at thattime I was always wearing black as Isaid I was that person that you see onthe show you know everything that I hadwas you were basically fitting thestereotype this there was likeabsolutely yeah 100%and I said everything I had was blackdown to my socks down to my boxerseverything was black yeah and I said tohim I said you know who I'm gonna changeI'm gonna go hey chin him and I'm gonnabuy myself some light colored clothesand he started laughing at me and I waslike why you laughing forand he said our heads on you're notgonna go and do that that gave me themotivation that I needed the next day Iwoke up I woke up earlygot myself a shower and I went to townand I went and bought a white top bluejeans I actually came out wearing theclothes and I put my black clothes in abag and I was sat at the bus stop andthis old lady came up to me and she juststarted randomly talking to me tell meabout her or all day or what she wasgonna do for the day tell me about hergrandkids tell him about her kids tellme why she had planned now when Iactually mentioned this story to peoplethey they always laugh because theydon't see that as a big thing but forme that was a big thing because that hasnever happened before I'm not saying shewouldn't but would she have spoken toyou or would you have even been in aplace that was approachable if you wereaddressed how you address yeah butexactly so and when I I remember thewhole journey she was speaking to me onthe bus because she was um she wascoming she was on the same bus style wason I remember the whole journey I wasjust smiling to myself and I got off thebus and I went to my flatand I just sat there and I was justsmiling to myself and my friend cameround to my house and he said oh yoyou've done it of course I've done ityeah I said don't ever doubt me becausewhen I say something when I say I'mgonna do something called do me and I'vealways stuck to that model if I say thatI'm gonna do something and I said whenthat old lady spoke to me that reallychanged me it made me it made me realizethat actually I wasn't a bad person thatI was I was just as you said making badchoices can I just touch on what youjust said there so you just saidsomething fiercely that I wasn't a badperson so somewhere along your life inyour journey you had this belief thatyou were a bad person because maybesociety told you you're a bad person allthe decisions you made there's a verystrong thing and I try and say this to alot of people is we are the story thatwe tell ourselves so if you consistentlykeep telling yourself that you're a badpersonsomewhere along the line you're gonnastart acting like a bad person you'regonna you're gonna find your way toalmost fit the narrative a bit likemyself when I used to say I was shy andanxious one I was very shy and anxiousbut two I'd almost get myself out ofsituations where I could grow and becomea person not shy and anxious if thatmakes sense so yeah yeah definitely it'sweird because you've touched on threethree ladies now who have really come atpivotal points in your life so you hadYvonne initially then you had the ladywho took your appointment she said notanother black man and then you've gotthis third lady you just come on a busand it's almost like somebody sendingyou a message all the time yeah againit's those subtle messages that peopleactually ignore that actually are thethings that change your life if youallow them to and if you accept it ifyou're allowed into an if you accept itand it's exactly is it that simplebecause you could you could have I couldhave seen that in a different way youknow but I didn't and I decided to seein the way that I did that these peopleare trying to change my life and that'show he's bettered me and that'sI've decided to change or did decide tochange get him back to the story of whenI was actually at court for my son orwhen I got all of those qualifications Iremember I went to court and I initiallyslapped it down on the table like Iliterally slapped it down like he waslike it was a movie or somethingand it's just like try and stop me fromseeing my son like that that's all Isaidand the judge looked at me and he saidwe actually can't stop you though but wecan't stop you from seeing your son youknow I mean and it was a good feeling toknow that you know I had achieved all ofthose things for my sonabsolutely and I ended up winning thecourt case so that was one of the realpivotal reasons why I decided to changebut yeah like from there I just didn't Ididn't decide to stop you know I didn'tjust think to myself okay like I've wonthe court case now I don't need to betmyself no more I don't need to enhancemy life no more I'm just gonna chilllike I've never done that I'd stilldecided to keep moving forward keepprogressing and and it was quite funnyyeah because when I was doing thevoluntary work there was people comingup to me saying why are you actuallyworking in here like there is no reasonfor why you need to be working here andI said I'm doing it to better myselflike I'm doing it I love it I'm justdoing it for myself and I was there fortwo months two to three months I wasthere for doing the volunteer work everyday I was dressing in a suit don't askme why I was just arrested in the seatjust because swaggered out I mean theBritish Heart Foundation you know andpeople say people just got to understandwhy button again was all because of mymentality I wanted to have a differentmentality and what was actuallyinteresting was that they actually tookme they signed me off from the JobCenter and signed me on to perhaps andit was for like those people that reallywanted to find the job and it was themthat actually got me involved with thePrince's Trust so one day I went in andI see my advisor and I asked him I saidoh he's there he's there anything goingon is there anything happening there anyjobs available and he turned to me andhe said oh there's there's no jobs oranythinglike that but there's a thing with theprinces trustees could get started intheater mm-hmm and I was like okay I waslike what is it he was like it's not ajob it's like a course I was like okayand he was like but I don't know if youare done if you want to do it becauseit's more like a confidence-buildingcourse but he's like hezron you knowyou've already got confidence so youdon't really need to do that course andI don't think that they would accept youmm-hmm and I looked him and I said putme on it I said even if I don't getaccepted onto it put me on it anywayI'll go I'll see what they say if theyaccept me then they do if they don'tthen oh wow it's just enough one ofthose things mm-hmm so we did he put meon it it was at the Birmingham reptheatre where it was being held so Iwent to the Birmingham rep theatre hadlike a little open day for it and itwould taste a day a little workshop so Ihad done that I had they had then put meonto the course and when I was on thiscourseI sat down and I said to myself I amgoing to commit a hundred percent thatwas it that was it I just said I'm gonnacommit a hundred percent I'm gonna sayhello to every single person I'm gonnabe the last person to leave and I'mgonna be the first person there that'swhat I said to myself and I stuck to mehe got to the point where people werewere asking who I was because I keptsaying hello to random people I was Iwas walking around a bearing a reptheatre the saying just just being likehellomorning morning and people couldn'tunderstand why I just kept sayingmorning and hello but that got theattention of people in the Birminghamrep theatre and I ended up doing thecourse so at the end of it we had toperform a play outside the brick theatreand we had to market it ourselves weeducate posters we had to do the playourselves and we look doing this playand guy from the West End came and thedirecting manager of the rep was thereas wellhis name was Steve bored and afterwinning had finished everyone wasgetting their awards and he wheneveryone was getting their awards forcompleting thecourse the guy turned around from WestEnd and he said Oh where's hezron Brownwhere is heso I'll step forward and he said I'mactually a talent scout and I would likeyou to play a part on the West End and Iwas like what so every wonder thereeveryone's there applauding everyone'sclapping but while they're doing thatI'm standing there baffled thinking I'mnot an actor like and I actually saidthat to him and he was like you'veactually got talent he said you mightnot know it but you have he actually hewanted me to play donkey in Shrek but Isaid to you no I haven't got noexperience and he said yeah I know youhaven't got any experience that's whythe repple gonna take you one sit inSteve ball he then stepped forward andsaid yes as wrong if you come and see menext week we can talk aboutopportunities about how to kind ofbetter your skills and enhance youracting basically so I did I mean I'veseen him and he gave me some actingposition that the Birmingham rep theatrejust like that and from there that'swhen things really started to change soI have now gone from this person thatwas homeless this person that never hadno food at times never had no money attimes that was unrolled at times to nowthis person who's an actor at theBirmingham rep theatre you can make afilm on that I could make a film be theactor as well so then the Prince's Trustgot wind of it so I sat down with awoman called Tsukiko Hale who is theyoung ambassador executive manager inthe West Midlands and I sat down withher so I told her my story as she saidokay she said how would you feel aboutbecoming an ambassador for the Prince'sTrust and I said yeah like I'm up forthat I definitely hundred percent Ithink I think that's a great lesson foranyone I'm not saying necessarily youwanting to become an actor but what youdid want to do is put yourself in abetter situation around better peopleand have a better life and by youembracing that opportunity and justliterally throwing yourself out therebecause I canimagine how comfortable you must havefelt coming from straight black blackhoodie black jogging bottoms to a suitsaying hello to people who you don'tknow how they're gonna perceive youbeing overly enthusiastic spending timeout of your own day go to charity placeslike British Heart Foundation and to putyourself in that environment and thenjust shine I just I just think it'samazing and hopefully people listen tothis and think if you really wantsomething in life and if you know whatyou want just go ahead and do it do youknow what I mean don't wait don't waitfor someone to give you give you the nodor the acceptance because you've got totake control of your life and you'vedone it may in fair play Tia thank youyou know what it's all about Southbelief I agree oh you know like there'snothing more powerful than self beliefnothing if you believe in yourself andyou believe that you can achieve thenyou can if you tell yourself everysingle day I'm gonna be a millionaireyou'll be a millionaire not just becauseyou've said it every day but becauseyou're you're putting it out there tothe universe you're installing that intoyour mindset so things that you will dofrom that point on will be things tomake you a millionaire absolutely a lotof people don't believe in themselvesthey don't and to be honest I'm guiltyof it so I never believed in myself Iwas into podcasts about two years ago orthree years ago yeah they are alwayswanted it because I'm always fascinatedby people's stories and I used to saycertain things about my life and peoplefind it inspiring and it's taken me like12 months to really have the self beliefand you touched on something there likethe millionaire thing and it's a bitlike you know for instance you go andbuy a red car for example you're goingto see that red car everywhere and thatthey call that the reticular activationsystem is kind of some scientific termso when you start saying you're amillionaire and you start putting it outthere into the universe you're going tostart seeing opportunities where you canpotentially become a millionaire you'regoing to be you're going to seemillionaires and millionaires you mighthave a conversation with one you mightpick up some information from himthrough your 20 minute conversation orwhatever so I think you've hit the nailon the head there self belief is soimportant especially to inspire peopleare motivated to go out there and dowhat they want to do you have to believein yourself you have to have him and youhave to because what will happen is thatopportunities will present themselves toyou but you won't take them because youdon't believe in yourself becausesaid you might feel like you're too shyor you know you've got this anxiety whenyou're around so you know like then isyou then start to lose out on some ofthe things that are actually there toactually better your life things areonly just started now really you know tolook up and as much as you know I haddone all those things before to bettermyself it's only now that theopportunities are actually coming my waythings that I had never seen before nowI was doing like garner dinners I wasgoing to red carpet events I was I wasstanding in front of corporate busestelling him about my life story tellinghim about how the Prince's Trust hashelped me and I'm at these I'm at theseplaces and I'm thinking to myself howdid I even get herelike sometimes it's a bit unreal becauseI'll be sitting there and I'll be I'llbe remembering the people that I used tohang around with mmmI remember the things that I used to doI remember the hard times that I was inthe times when I was literally I wentfor a depression I was literally likeyou know I was having suicidal thoughtsI was I was I never thought life wasworth living you know every day cryingmyself to sleep because of the situationthat I was in so I've gone from thatperson to now sitting down at a tablearound millionaires literallymillionaires pretty it's corporatebosses eating lobster like literallyeating lobster for my start I mean I'mkind of things I'm thinking like it'scrazy like it's crazy how I got myselffrom there today but obviously it waspossible and obviously I'm done laterself belief and it's the process andit's the process and people forget theprocess and you you've had to endure itand a lot of people think they can justwish something and it just happens in amonth in a week sometimes it can takefive years sometimes it could take tenyears I'm glad for your sister for yoursake and for the community because ofthe work you're doing now it's happenedit's quicker because now you're outthere and you're able to do great thingsso mmm it's fantastic man thank youthank you so he built up my confidenceit built upthe passion that I had actually becauseI think what was what was hindering meetme before was that I actually didn'tknow what I wanted to do a lot of peoplewere always like saying okay what do youwant to do you know like you know whatyou want to be coming I was always likeI actually don't know and I actuallydon't know what I want to do I don'tknow what I want to becomebut the Prince's Trust gave me theanswer and it was from doing all thoseevents because I was doing those eventsand I was talking to these people in mymind I was always thinking these aren'tthe people that need to hear my storyit's the young people that need to hearmy story surgery and from there Istarted going into schools I was doingit for free I was just going intoschools speak into year groups and I wasjust speaking to the young people turnedhim about my storysometimes on a one-to-one basissometimes as a whole year group and theimpact I was making and that I wasseeing was it was unreal you know cuzthere are a lot of young people that aregoing through similar finger yeah whatI've gone through and to be able to sayto them actually like I went throughthat but this is where I am now and tosee their face actually light up andthink hope to know that they've got hopethat they can now you know that they cancontinue like there was a boy that Ispoke to I told him my story and it wasit was during a it was during one of mytalks that I do and and he was to thewhole year group and this boy came up tome at the end and he's eternal it's okaywhat's mean he said can you be my mentorand I said well yeah like if you want meto any went I've got a temper and it'sexactly how you describe yours and hewas like to see and it's because he saidyou know he always keeps getting intobad situations and his temper keepsdefining him and I looked at him and Isaid your temper doesn't define you Isaid you know I've got a temper youwouldn't even believe it but I've got atemper as well but look where I'mstanding and now you're coming up to measking me for help youI said you can be that person in thefuture absolutely and and to see hisface was light up it was great man andit's nice really it's the best feelingto know that you've made an impact onsomeone's life in a way that you neveractually thought you could you know wasit sitting there before and I wasthinking you know if I speak about mytemper that's gonna help peoplesomething that could be possible it'swell deserved given from me it was wrongbecause you couldn't were given up andyou could have just I could have givenup stayed in that life and contrib senta hundred percent and this is whatpeople need to understand that life thatI was in before there was only two therewas only two roadsit was either jail or death and the lifeyou live in now the opportunities andjust the hell it's unreal to be honestthis is kind of like one of my missionsas well because you mentioned liketemper then just from you saying thatstory one person who could relate toyour story you could potentially have arole on effect for his life and then hecouldn't do fantastic things and theguests that I've got on this podcastthey're all got their own story so oneof my good friends he's got blind in oneeye and all eyes people because he's aboxing coach he's a fantastic personthat one of the best people I know andsomebody who's going through those kindof issues they might be able to relateto each story I've got somebody who'senlivened with cancer and they'restruggling in their mindset and dealingwith that so that's gonna help peoplewho are suffering with cancer so whatabout finding people who have hadadversity in their life but they've beennot given up they've not let the cardsthat lived out an effect and whatthey've done is they played with themthe best way they can and they found away to win the game and you're undermoney you're winning and longmatecontent I'm winning my I'm gonna move iton a little bit now I'm a big believerthat we are resort of the things we tellourselves but I'm also a big believerthat ideally habits are really importantas well so now if you could just tellpeople now it's a day in the life ofhezron Brown a day in the life of hezronBrown yeah well you know I need I needto be true for everyone I'm not I'm nota celebrity yet you know yeah yes butit's the process and he still sees tothe process I'm just looking to besomeone that you know these young peoplecan look up to and and hopefully howchange some people's lives but a life inthe day ofBrown is a life like everyone else youknow I get luck actually what I onething I do is when I get up I look inthe mirror for about five minutes and Ijust stare at myself as much as as muchas we're that that sound yeah stare atmyself I put my hands on my hips hmm andI just stare I'll just stare into myface I just stare into my eyes okay andI'll just keep saying to myself you'regonna make it you're gonna make it I'mgonna make it yes and that's all I keepsaved myself and I do it oops about fiveminutes sort of standing it and thatactually gives me the motivation to todo what I need to do in the day mmm mmmyou know if there's anything that I needto look at in regards to work or youknow if there's someone I need to go andspeak to it just gives me the motivationthat I needit's a powerful affirmation andsubconsciously you're strengthening yourself belief which is the reason you'redoing amazing things now so I think thatthat's really important this is kind ofwhy I asked the question becausesomebody always has something in theirroutine which they might not necessarilysee as an amazing thing but it's somekid out there who doesn't believe inhimself just simply stands up in themirror tomorrow morning with their handson the hips or wherever they want to putit and they just say empowering thingslike I am NOT shy for example or I amworth more I will achieve more I will domore for people and they consistentlysay that and it's not not just onceyou've got you've got to keep saying itespecially if you haven't got the selfbelief they will start seeing they willchange so mate that's a fantastic pointI think I think it's I've actually gotan image now because I said I said whatyou look like and standing there nowdecide I shouldn't be thinking it youknow because I've got black boxes I'vegot you there and I know it's empoweringfor myself as well you know for mymindset and because I said he just givesme the motivation that I need but yeahafter that put my clothes on go to workand come home eat foodgo to bed well actually no that's that'swhy I eat food and work on work onmyself again so that's good at themoment when I saythat I go into schools and colleges andpeople are Farrow units youth offendingteams prisons I do my talk but I alsotalk about some of the social issuesthat are plaguing a society as well so Igive talks on nice crime I give talks oncounty lines and I'm creating otherprograms as well other presentationsthat I can do in schools as well so atthe momentthat's what I'm doing just trying tocreate those presentations create I saidI'm just I'm out here trying to helppeople so love it in the evening thatjust work on myself fantastic justoffline we'll take this conversationoffline on my I did this little bit outI was a social worker in my last life aswelland I send the kids that I've gonethrough the system and how hard it isand stuff so one of my big goals in lifeis to have a social impact change aswell so something for offline becauseobviously you're in Princes trust I wantto start a social enterprise for mentalhealth as well there's a lot of thingsthat I feel that in the future we canwork on to make a massive difference inthe world so let's definitely go let'slet's do it mind let's do it let's gomanthe next question is about adversity andI think you've pretty much touched on ahell of a lot of adversity but if we canjust go back to one example and what Iwant you to do is give us the lessonsthat he's taught you and how that's madeyou stronger today oh I would say thetoughest like adversity that I faced waswhen I was in that bed and breakfastgoing through that time when I never hadno money I never had no food when I meanthat time for me was harder I mean thattime for me was hard I was 15 years oldturning 16imagine being that age - to fend foryourself literally like everything yeahand you know I remember nights MitchellI said I was crying myself to sleepbecause I was that hungry that my bellyfat like he was turning inside out and Ithink that taught me especially now hetaught me not to take for granted thingsthat I do for me yeah that's one of thebiggest things for me at the moment likeI just I just I'll just live life how Iwant to live life but I just do what Iwant to dobecause as I said I look back to thosetimes and and I realize actually whereI've come from and you know you've got asense of gratitude now as well foranything that you take which is reallyoh listen you should see me when I eatfood you should you should yeah ahthough you don't want to be around methe chicken brilliant brilliantokay so the next one's a little bitwe're gonna spin it a little bit againwhat's your biggest fear now my biggestfear is my temper even now and me losingmy temper losing that control andsomething bad happens which puts me backin that situation that I was in when Iwas younger a hell of a lot to lose aswell now and I've got so I've got somuch to lose like and you know when I'mtrying to say like I want to be a rolemodel for these young people and how canI be a role model if I'm out heregetting locked up for something or youknow I can't be that role model thatthese young people need if I'm doingthose if I'm doing those things and itis hard there's a guy called inkyjohnson I don't know if you know him hesays something about there's no pointyou trying to be a public success ifyou're a private failure exactly it's sopowerful because it's so easy on socialmedia to try and portray yourself to besomebody else do you know what I meanbut I think you have enough having thatin the back of your mind knowing how didthese kids depend on me you don't knowhe's watching you tomorrow it could be akid who's about to go and do the worstthing in his life but if he sees you andhe's looking at you and think it's hotin a minute this guy he's going placesdoing things that maybe I could do thatit might just completely change histrajectory of his life on the basis ofthat so obviously you've got that in theback of your head you don't wanna letyourself down you go you've got yourlittle one as well what's your what elsekeeps you going what's your motivationis it just to know go out there just bebigger better help more people yeah mymotivation now is to get into as muchschools of a can as much prisons as Ican as much people refer units listen Ijust want to get in front of as muchyoung people as I canand spread my story and hopefully changepeople's lives that's my motivationalong with my kids as well as I said youknow I don't I want I want my kids togrow upclean him proud of me err you know howyeah that's something that's somethingin my life that I've never really hadyou know people being proud of meand I think as well that's somethingthat I've tried to strive for yeah I'lltry to strive against that thatacceptance you know and for my kids mainleaf mostly I just want them to be proudof me yeah I just want them to be happyand know be able to say to people youknow that's my dad you know there were100 percent hundred saying man to manI'm proud of you for how far you've comeas well in your stories is I'm excitedmate for you for your future I'mgenuinely excited yeah I can't wait forthe things it's okay so what we're gonnado now we're gonna go into a quick fireround of 60 seconds and we're gonna puthas run through his paces we're gonnaask him as many questions as possible soif you're ready we're gonna start inthree two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisibleability to fly money your fame moneyNetflix or YouTube Netflix Coke or Pepsior Pepsi would you rather know how youwill die or when you were dying oh whenI would die love or money love books ormovies movies if you could sit with oneperson in the world for an hour whowould it be my kids I love them what isyour biggest addiction my baby oh theygive the Dixon food summer or wintersummer your favorite place in the worldmy bed speak or languages will be ableto speak to animals speak or languagesyour favorite song I don't have fun thelast song you listen to okay love ityour favorite superhero Superman if youcould abolish one thing in the worldwhat would it be or badness love it loveit okay times up so now we have finishedthat round we're gonna move overstraight back into the interview sectionof the show so the next question has runit's about reflection so how that's awonderful thing and upon reflection wecan always think of ways to get to wherewe are currently quicker easier or withless heartache but I guess the journeyteaches us a lot especiallyyour journey as well and I've got a realbelief that everything happens for areasonOh hundred percent absolutely so what Iwant to know is if you could go back intime to one moment where you reallystruggled let's let's take thatbed-and-breakfast example and sufferedwith that adversity being hungry in thatmoment and you could just whispersomething into your ear knowing what youknow now and where you're going now whatwould it bestay strong mmm literally stay strongcuz I said that was something that Ialways and I struggled with men when Imean like you know I was having thosesuicidal thoughts I was having some realsuicidal thoughts you know and if Icould go back then and you know speak tomyself I would just say heads one staystrong don't cry just stay strong stayon the path I wish I had done this stuffearlier but you know one thing that Ialways say it's people is I'm glad thatI've lived the life yeah people peoplealways people always say to me like ohif you could go back in time would youchange would you change anything no Iwouldn't and if anything called probablydo it worse because because now I havethe story sit down and speak to people Ican sit down and speak to well I haveI've sat down and spoken to older peoplehmm about things that they thought Iwould never know nothing about but I'mable to sit down and speak of thembecause of what I've been through sosuddenly that brings us to the lastquestion and the last question I alwayslike to ask my guess is if in 150 yearstime we're all dead because sciencehasn't managed to save us and all that'sleft is one book and that book is basedon your life about you telling the worldwho hezron Brown really was what I wannaknow is what that Blair would say andthen I'm just gonna add a littlequestion at the end is what would youcall it as wellokay I'm gonna probably call it thestruggle is real of it that's notprobably what I would call it thestruggle is real so if anyone's outthere who's listening that can write abook for me that's what the fight willbe the struggle is realand I think the blurb would like theblurb would just have to be somethinglike you know this is a man but you haveto say in a voice as well you can't justdo it like normally he has to be like ina voice like you know okay like a LiamNeeson kind of voice I'm gonna try asuccess with Scott let's go this is aman this is a man after facing hardtimes changed and became a better manfor the love of his kids and for thelove of what he wanted to do for societyI like it I like it I like it I like itbut it would have sounded better withthe Liam Neeson voice but oh that'sbrilliant that's - basically the end ofthe show so what I normally do now aswell is I ask people to reach out to youif you wouldn't mind and I think yourstory just one that's gonna inspirethousands of people so I've got you onTwitter but I know you've just startedthat have you got any of the socialmedia platforms yeah like I'm onFacebookokay um I'm on Twitter I'm on LinkedInas well is Helzer on brown on on most ofthem I think um Twitter its hezron Brown90 okay fantastic fantastic what I'llalso do is I'll put all these links tohezron social media in the show notes soif anyone wants to reach out please docheck the show notes and you'll findeverything and as always thanks forlistening and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 5 - Look up by Ashley Nixon #5Tagline: “So you sort of look at the victories of the past, and you rely on them for victories in the future"https://arendeu.com/podcastFind your voice - Episode 5Ashley Nixon grew up with rage, that would spiral his life into turmoil. Drug abuse, prison, fighting both in and out of the ring, dealing with well known drug cartels and gangs he often found himself living a life destined for jail or death. Fortunately it was the former and through his time in prison, Ashley had a realisation towards a better life. His purpose almost became apparent and with hard work, the right mindset and devoting himself to a larger cause Ashley is now on his path to serving others and making a massive difference in the world.His genuine personality, of wanting to serve and now his love for himself having been accepted by the lord, as he puts it, has given him a new life. Born again, is how he describes it and shows that anyone, despite their past mistakes or actions can truly turn their life around.Follow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010604051898#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and I am the host of theshow so today's episode is one of hopeand one which really does capture yourimagination on what is possible thisindividual has been at rock bottom and Imean rock bottom where he's had thesupport he's had the community and he'shad the people around him to really tryand lift him up but it just wasn'tenough until something changed and I'mnot gonna tell you what that thing isbut I'm gonna let him explain it becauseI think this is such an important storyabout how we so often try and do thingsto please other people we try and fitinto places where we just know we don'tbelong and thankfully for not onlyhimself did he realize this but also forthe community he is now having such amassive positive impact on so I hopeyou're all having a fantastic day and Ihope this interview really does give yousome insight in terms of what's possibleand more importantly just give you asense of hope that people can changefirstly I'm gonna welcome back to theshow so how you doing today my friendyeah I'm doing good thank you yeahreally good thank you privilege to bethere so thank you well I'm verygrateful that you've taken time out yourday to come on so obviously you've heardthe introduction as listeners but Ithink it's more important we hear alittle bit more about Ashley himself andI've heard snapshots and highlightsabout how your world is transformedbasically since I last seen you in thegym so it's gonna be interesting for meas well as you guys is the listener soactually if you wouldn't mind if youcould just give us a run through alittle bit about your life from themoment you can remember basically upuntil where you are right now my rightokay yeahand it's looking back on your life andI'm 30 years old now so as you canimagine I've lived quite a bit for 30yearslisten try and give a bit of a snapshotof my life it's it's when you're readyto start so suppose looking back towhere we met we first met at the boxingclub leading up to that I'd been livingwith my family in Coventry they're agroup of Coventry we had my mom my manand a sister as well never really had adive growing up and then was about 10years old my mum met my now stepdad andbeing a 10 year old lad being the lifeof the family the man of the house andthen certainly having this new man inthe house it kind of I think from therethings began to disrupt in my house myworld was kind of turned upside down alittle bit and to add to that I supposewe moved them from Commons we'destablished when I was about 11 yearsold and so I'm moving to a new area theaccents were funny funny which is I'mreally but I'm sorry no new area Itrying to make new friendsangry and upset with my home situationand so as you can imagine I began tomeet with and get to know other kidsthat were like myself really just angryupset at the world and from there as youcan imagine paint up in school excitedto describe lessons and to get suspendedand get into fights him in there forlong smoking smoking cannabis regulagetting drunk on the weekendsoccasionally was ecstasy involved orcocaine and life for me quite early onin the years began to spiral really Idon't know what it was just one of thosekids that you know I weren't reallyscared of the police instead of schooland my family at home and we and upsetand trying to find a way to expressemotions I didn't quite understand andso through crime and getting intotrouble and I've been involved withyoung offenders and team stuff I andthey put me to trick all connections itwas back in the day connections withsomething that work with young kids totry and provide positive activities forthem so they sent me to the Lions BoxingClub and so that's how I found myself atthe box we talked when I was probablyabout 15 16 years old oh wow yeah yeahyes that's probably my first my hewasn't about that it was yeah my briefmemory of yourself was so I always hadthis thing in my head where I was at themost talented but I would always try andoutwork everyone in the gymand there's probably I'd say a handfulof people that I remember obviously youhad Connor who was like you know one ofthe best boxes in the gym there's a guygood friend of mine called Andy who usedto work really really hard on hisfitness and I remember yourself andthat's pretty much my only memory of youas somebody who when he came in hepretty much gave ease or so in terms oflike work ethic and stuff I fullyunderstand that I just want to quicklytouch on something though that youmentioned that you when you were growingup and you were angry and upset with theworld and stuff was that solely becauseyou had no father growing up or yeah hisighs beautiful thing in it and thenlook looking back I I try now to try andwork out and organize and think what itwas but the time it's hard when you'rein the middle of something and yourlife's a mess in these turmoil sometimesit's hard to put your finger on what itwas I suppose looking back it was diyosI was a little kid in Coventry and I wasten years old had my first girlfriendand things were going while I played forthe football team in my primary schooland then my mom meets my stepdad thisman's in my house and we move so youknow an hour away from my home having tomake new friends and I didn't want thatand I suppose it was just rebellionagainst that really I mean looking backnow I recognize my mom you know she hadme at a very young age and she gave upher youth to be my mom and she had ashot at being happy you know and Iwasn't happy about us being selfish andsuppose there's been a kid notunderstanding the world around you'resuppose absolutely absolutely and Ithink you touched on the point therehindsight's a wonderful thing wesometimes even myself I mean I was neverinvolved with the police or anything butthis stuff I did as a kid or at schooland you cringe when you think back andthink yeah I was are that guy but Isuppose we all know lessons from it andthat's kind of what I'm trying to getfrom this podcast and fun this interviewwith yourself so you've touched onbriefly obviously you got into boxingthen so how did that kind of transformyour life because I know that had amassive impact yeah so this is this isthe first time boxing and so there'sanother second occasion which is afterthis occasion I was there for a whileand it provided that stability and itprovided routine provided disciplinethat sort of thing and I remember thethe Rob this went back when I was a kidsball Marines came in and they didn'tlike a little demonstration in theboxing club and that was me so I thoughtthe rule means I'm gonna become asoldier and I went to the the careersoffice and I told him look I want to bea soldier I want to come and serve andthey asked me about my criminal recordand they basically said look paveyourself a couple years and we'll acceptthat so I tried my best to behave asI've always been a Jacqueline so it'smore a case of not getting caughtexcept for couple years continue to boxcontinue to get fit get healthy and wentdown to limp stone in Devon I've done afour-day selection course for the wrongreasons and which I passed that and alsosets means of the wrong reasons and thenI go into a phone a pub and I've donefor a BH I'd leave that witnessintimidation and as you can imagine thatwas the wrong Marines was my way out myway out of the brokenness my way out ofthe mess it was my way of trying to fixmyself and blooby only stay after thatthe door closed and my life justspiraled from there and things got realbut from then on I went back to the onlything that I really knew other than thatand that was selling drugs so from a kidfrom a young age or worked out you knowthe best way to fund any drug habit thatI'd have would be to sell drugs myselfand along with all the states that cometo that all of the reputation the moneyand the people thinking you're the big Iam and I really started a little kids Iwas an idiot and more Pitt and I've gotcaught up in a world that was massiveway bigger than myself and so that waslike 19 I think that was I startedspiraling and really spiraling in thatcontrol and over the next four years 19to the age of sort of 23 involve wrigleyinvolved in drug dealing and gang lifethat sort of thing I got noticed by someproper thugs like some proper likeorganized crime and I start selling forthese guys and these guys were likeI mean we were selling to likestreet-level lads and then we send tothose that are selling to them on thestreets but occasionally buying from thelocals like the Albanian mafia andselling the house a like it sounds crazywe've seen out loud sometimes I mean Isometimes I get to show this he's notsaying it sometimes I share this throughit sounds like something you see almoston a netflix program like narcos or itmight sound like that but i'll be honestlike this sort of thing happensthroughout the country you know I meanevery town every neighborhood everycouncil estatehave somebody who's involved in thiskind of a lifestyle it's they I'm sureas you know yourself maybe this kind ofthings it's widespread throughout thiscountry and I got caught up in it youknow I'm 1920 from a life away and I canown money really quickly and I'm goingto house parties and people know who Iam and about reputation and peoplerespect me and I'll be honest - they'rescared little kid if a woman's justtrying to vent that anger thatfrustration and finding drugs to maskproblems and issues and it may is just amess man absolute mess but yeah Isuppose you can imagine from that andended up in prison eventually which wasabsolutely the best place for me exactlywhere I belong and looking back nowprison mate was the best thing that everhappened to me just to touch on that soI've previously worked in a prison forabout six months it was part of mysocial work I was doing a master's atthe time and when I went there it wasone of the scariest places I've everbeen personally so I am afraid of thepolice I am afraid of like silly thingsbut when I was there you've seen how howlittle these people have interactionwith their kids or with you know thecommunity will be able to just do stuffI mean you were getting that one hourfreedom a day where they're allowed towalk in like the park kind of area theyhad and I was looking at that and I usedto go work there so obviously I'm therefrom like 9:00 to 5:00 in a I'm so happyto get back home and I used to alwayssay I just come home to the missus and Iwas like because I've had a couple ofscraps here and there and sometimesyou've hit someone the wrong way andthey're falling down and they're notgetting up and you kind of panic and youthink shit this could go in thatabsolutely different way and I literallysat back and I think having experiencedthat from the outside for six months itwas it was eye-opening for me to makesure that I never ever used my hands orgot into an altercation in the wrong wayso if you wouldn't mind like just forthem at listeners here because I thinkit'd be quite interesting a day in thelife of being someone as sort of aprisoner and how long would youtherefore as well yeah okay so I was Iwas quite fortunate and being involvedin the life that was involved you knowand regularly carried firearms and thatwe've you know tens of thousands ofpounds of cocaine transporting it in mycar I could have been given you knowseven ten fifteen you know however manyyearsbut in the end that abh thousand I gotthem for I got given a suspendedsentence at the end of the spin is insmessed up again got given communityorder or whatever it was basically likemy old sentence was just hanging over myhead because I never managed to behavelong enough for it to disappear and inthe end I got caught with about two orthree grams of cocaine which isbasically enough for personal amountthat basically invoked the suspendedsentence and I was given 6 months and 14days so I was well you say six months islike for me I mean I'm not like I coulddo a weekend in there oh yeah I thinkprison ultimately I mean as long asyou're willing to go there behaveyourself get your head down you're gonnabe okay but the reason you're in thereis because that's not something that youdo too easilyabsolutely for this occasion a tourismthe game and so you're okay and thenbeing allowed that's always trying toprove himself always trying to you knowpresent this person you know long okayI've got it together okay and so I findmyself in this prison and in prison is acurrency which is like tobacco andtobacco you're buying drugs you buy ashoe by that and it's the only addictionthat you're allowed and so people cravethe nicotine in animes in prison if youwant to borrow some tobacco from saylike the loan sharks in there they'llgive you however big the pouch is oneweek the next week they want to put theamount back my Gran's this prisonand I thought you know I'm gonna startborrowing tobacco because I wanna smokeaside borrowing some I didn't reallythink about the repayments at all theguy that was borrowed from was only ascrawny looking lad so I didn't reallyfeel too much about it he came on to meone day said Let Me In and pay me backwhat you owe me I basically told him Itold him where to go something on me I'ma painter which is you can imagine was apretty stupid idea and I didn't dobecause I was a tough guy no I don'tknow I wouldn't tell anybody I was a bighard man you know me big toughness justmore pickup in this crazy world but thisguy anyway he goes down and he says manI'm gonna go get my clothes my foot yeahwhatever jog on like you went to go getithis cousin was huge meimagine a massive Commodore basicallycorridors on the sideI mean there's a little central bit andthen another block on either side sortof things so kind of what you see on theTV rooms so I'm on the fifth floor thefifth I'm in the top floor and I'm justHank like basically my hands on therailings just looking over and then thisbig huge guy comes around the corner andhe goes right if that can't be iscausing this guy was huge and so I we'renew in prison if you guys didn't have astrap normally go into a pad one of theprison ward like the cells in thatyou'll have it off of a strap and twoguys will stand outside and keep tryingtill the guards come sort of thing asyou can imagine that's a prettyintimidating prospect when a guy thatthis guy was hugebut he came towards me anyway and sortof like he put himself in the browser aswell and I don't know if used for theproven point to the rest of the windbecause he ended up being the biggestloan shark on the wind load and he's puthis arms over the side I'm over to signhis turn and he goes what are you gonnapay me back and as I turned to talk tohim he just hit me at the side of thehead as hard as he couldI've sort of staggered back I ended uphaving local marks on the side made fourto three weeks because he's doing it onthe landing on the wing the securityguards nearby and so we strapped inflashing 30-second twenty seconds whenAllah and screwy guys jumped on himpinned him to the floor I've turned todecide the scrawny cousins had a go atme then as well and so I won't have anyscraps on the land and the securityguards got involved and and throughbasically the street lighting involvedwas the last one standing but as you canimagine again reputation starts good forthe roof people saying he is not a liaryou know I'm not paying attention to thesystem playing by the prison's ruleslike I said me I was in Indiawhoopee and I got myself into all kindsof trouble but um see ya these guysended up there getting removed off theprison wing moves to another part topresent and tobacco size tutorialbecause that last the ones who weresupplying tobacco they put a price on myhead so that if anyone gave me a hickeyand or a beam or whatever or you knowyou're in prison with a price on you andit's mostly you know stabbed a stickerand so this is the position I foundmyself in all over the game makingthings absolutely the worst I possiblycould for myself really I want to say Iadmire your honesty for for coming upand and sharing this story and I thinkwhat we need to take away from isprobably the most important bits is thatwhile you were doing all this and I'veseen you you're a big lad you yourstrong lad but you just mentioned acouple of things there where you've saidthat you were scared and you know youhad a mask on and you were you were kindof you almost trying to be somebody thatyou maybe you weren't deep down I'm notsure I'm not sure if that's the rightwords but I just feel like you've shownsome vulnerability there and I thinkthere's probably a lot of kids and I'vegot I've got a couple of extended familymembers or friends who are doing similarthings to yourself and it and it's itworries me because I'm always trying totell them but like whose reputation areyou really trying to get and what isthis reputation that you want to beknown for and I want to kind of justspin this a little bit because I don'twant people just thinking that you'reright they're just crap over the worldand going absolutely crazy because thereis light at the end of the tunnel withyour story which is why I find it sofascinating I know recently you've had amassive transformation in your life andI I can tell from your intelligence thatone you realize that you wereaccountable for everything you've takenresponsibility you've accepted that yeahit was your fault so if you wouldn'tmind just just for the listeners as welljust kind of how your life started totransform or what measures you took yeahokay so I think from what you've heardfrom my story already there's a coupleof times I've tried to sort myself outboxing was one and which in the endbecame so incredible at the time I thinktoo young and too stupid to take theopportunity given to me the secondHolmes the rule means trying to solve aself out through the wrong reasonsmany times I've tried and I knew my lifewas a mess I knew I needed help and youI needed a way out but I think with theanger and the frustration and I'll be onlet things go I was trapped you know asI was trapped you know I think I was inprison within my own mind long beforeeverything prison itself and so I thinkpersonally I was at a point of not beingable to help myself at all it's funnybecause I this apart the storyline Ilove this part of story it's not alwaysa part the story that people can alwaystruly grasp time in this prison mylife's in danger there's a price on myhead I'm looking over my shoulderconstantly waiting to get a kick in andit is at this point another prisoner whowas who was in the cell opposite me hecame to me he said may I I think youneed God and then one thing he got inyour life and I for me you want totaking the mick yeah and I'm in prisonmy life's in danger I need you knowbaseball bat or a couple of mates Idon't know and you know that's crazy butI think it's something at that point Idon't know if she's been triggering mesomething caught my attention I don'tknow what it was but a couple of dayslater I'm walking down a prison wing inthe corridor and there's a sign-up sheeton the wall for chapel and I see thisfunctional chapel and and somethingabout it just it just caught myattention it's all about it he just drewme towards it I was like okay what'sthis all aboutI looked at it and I read this timemachine afore it's not for me and I meanI'm not interested I don't care whatthis guy's saying about God I don't wantto know I don't care and I went to walkaway and something is showing me it'sthe strangest thing about it just feltlike there's something tugging at mesomething within was just pulling at meand I look back now and I've got wordsto try and describe what was going on itwas just crazyit was like it was weird it was crazy soit was pulling me towards this song shedoes something more about it than what Iread about it yeah in the end of I'vesort of gone back and as I'm going backtowards it there's like a sense ofexcitement growing I mean almost like asense of adrenalin groaning me know Iwas training some crazy drugs in thisworld but what was going on at thatmoment was it was surreal it's weird andso I thought you know what can I loselet's go and check out what thischappals all about and so I signed up myname and basically what this feat wasabout is if you sign up my name on aSunday a prison guard will come to youso they'd release you from prison theytake you to Chapel I thought okay coolI'll get myself out there so let's goI sign my name a million and the momentI found my name of a centerpiece itmeans I'd never experienced before in mylife well you know I was here I was inprison I was a broken-down scumbag andexactly what I deservedmy life was in danger and if I got me akicked in and I said oh I deserve buthere I was feeling peace feeling asthough there's more to life than whatcurrently experienced more than anypeople as well and that was crazy me totry and for me to look back and likesometimes I catch myself saying now it'stelling this storyabsolutely crazy really yeah I think Ithink this is such a fascinating storybecause it's literally from one extremeto the complete opposite end of thespectrum it's not like you've made amistake you made it the second time andthen you you've kind of sorted yourselfat through whatever means it is you'veliterally I mean I'm listening to thatstory initially and if I didn't know youand say for instance you had alreadytold me half the story I would be likeokay there's no hope for this guy and Isay that because like I said I knowpeople who are who have had a similarlife and I've tried my best to help thempersonally and I tried to kind of changetheir circle of friends their influencetry and change their mindset make themread more do more and sometimes I'll behonest I feel helpless but what you'vejust given me there which you may notrealize is you've given me a sense ofhope that actually ok might not be Godbut there there is a way that we can tapinto people say for instance likeyourself and I'm I'm using your wordshere I'm not calling you this by the wayper say Prince is somebody exactly likea scumbag for example I really sort oftransform their lives so oh yeah that ispowerful powerful stuff so yeah so youstarted you started in prison in termsof so you go to this chapel and then howdid that kind of accelerate afterwardsyeah yeah so I mean I'm in prison andlearned the chapel week-in week-out andI'm trying to study this bad persontrying to get more groups the Bible andstuff like that and hearing about a Godwho who loves me and God he wants thevery best for me a God of second chancesa god of redemption a lot of forgivenessand these are all the things I knew thatI needed so desperately and I remembergoing back to my son and tried my firstever prayer and I'm sort of saying Godyou know if you're out there and you arewho these people say well look I needhelp and I really really need to knowplease how many way the week's all go byI'm coming towards a moment where I likethe opposite gangs in honor these ladsare involved with these little guys okayhere comes to kicking I'm waiting for analarm would go off or a cigar would justturn on the corner you know I mean andlike almost like you leave coincidencesyeah yeah looking at them on the surfacelike this just a coincidence you knowthe main burner like it felt like I wasprotecting me I felt renewed it's nothope was there like I had hope you knownever excusedlike tomorrow's gonna be okay it's gonnabe all right you know me like no matterhow dark and how broken how messed up mysituation was you know what there is away out and things can change and it'sbeautiful me just having that hope justit stirs you online I love that I lovethat message and that's kind of amessage I always try and preach myselves and it's actually something thatkeV it's fantastic and he talks aboutbelief and whether you believe in God orwhether you believe in anything like healways says worst case just believe inyourself because we all need thatotherwise we're lost and I suppose youyou were I think it's fair to say youwere lost for so long and oh yeah youfound your calling and I think that'sfantastic mate it's one it's nice tohear that your life had turned aroundfrom that yes I imagined that youropinion of yourself changed so ratherthan see yourself as this scumbag forexample will keep just using that wordyes how did you start seeing yourselfhow would you explain yourself you okayI'd love to say that instantly BAM mychange completely yes does this newsense of hope there was this sense ofper person of death meaning that my lifehad value and meaning you know I mean itwasn't just some random mess that wasdoomed to fall apart with her but likeprisoners to flying yes I've got thisBible in my hands now I'm trying tolearn to pray but then I'm back in myown neighborhood of I tackle my uncleand my old gang mates who are only myold influences are they're my oldreputation goes before mold you knowknow made all this temptations around melooking I remember the first night comeout of prison you know this Bible in meunder mana going back home and we makecomes running and I'm sniffing coke withhim and I'm wondering why I can't sleepat night you know my doings myself and Ithink the 10-month period be kind ofjust completely wrestling between theidentity that I used to haveand this new identity that I'veexperienced and wanted so much more uhand so does this season of uh you knowat growl bit on the weekend and I'll getinto fights and I've got my jaw brokenbetween I throw my prison before Istarted boxing just a flat-out into afight go out and take drugs then comehome and read my Bible and pray andbelieve in this God that was gonna saveme and set me free it was just a weirdseason of things happening but in thisperiod again like I spoke aboutcoincidences in the prison I believecoincidences we had to start takingplace outside of prison as well so thegang that I was involved in and I said Iwas on tag so I had to be in by sevenfucking line eight o'clock at nightthere was caught in the drugs bust rightat one point four million pounds of drugbust and they're caught with like largeamounts of cocaine large amounts of cashshotguns and literally a big bust it wasacross the news everywhere so they wereremoved from the streets I found out mybest friend was Steven my girlfriend wasin prison so they all removed from mylife and through another series ofcomplete coincidences I was leftisolated and all alone and with nothingmore than the Bible and trying to learnto pray and I believe God removed thebaggage from my life and the brokennessfor my life to really be able to work onmyself and so for me when when you readsome of the things in the bite the biobassoonist stuff the bio says about it'sbeautiful like it's beautifully likesays that every hair that's on your headis numbered God knows you that well andthat intimately in you are of thatimportance and that value in your hairis numb but you don't mean like stufflike it's beautiful and she decided toread this stuff and he starts to tospeak value into your life I think oneof the most powerful things that thatcan happen with things like depressionyou'll have these thoughts that go overand over and over in your head and theycompletely compoundingthe ideas so if you think that you'renothing any worthless and you'rethinking that constantly every singleday you're gonna think you're worthlessand nothing I know it's gonna spiral oras if someone starts to speak words arepositive words are encouragingI think words and words that we believeand the things that we believe aboutourselves are so powerful you've tookthe words right out of my mouth and Iwas gonna say this literally I was gonnasay this later on because how you speakto yourself will determine your life inyour story and your level of happinessmassively in terms of so even myselfI've gone through like anxiety and allthat sort of stuff in my life and interms of like my business for example ifjust use it as an example it's gone muchbetter in the last six months than itwas previously but because my state ofmind and my self-worth and love andeverything was always at its best Isuppose I've always managed to be happyin the moment and happy in the now soirrespective of whether I have morezeros in the end of my bank account atthe end of the day or I have a fanciercar outside on my driveway my level ofhappiness doesn't really change becauseit's an inside job and I think peopleare always trying to personal thingsmaterialistic things whereby they'retrying to get some sort of validationfrom the public or external factors butwhat you really need to do is lookwithin yourselves and until you canstart loving yourself and start lookingafter yourself so how you look afteryourself in the gym or with your dietyou need to look after yourself withyour thoughts so you know massively Iappreciate you saying that mate becauseI'm you did take the words out my mouthI was saving that for later it'simportant we live in a world now whichis so media driven Facebook we've goteverything there are fingertips but themessage of the world is saying to us isyou're not good enough unless you havethis have something to sell they've gota product to get rid off so they canconvince you that you're not good enoughwithout their product that's whatthey're gonna do and if we've seen thesemessages day in and day outno wonder the half of all things were nogood with nothing we're worthlessbecause that's what the world is tellingus that's so powerful it's horrible me Imean it makes people feel inferior and Ithink one of the things I've alwaystried to do so I used to be personaltraining previously a long time ago andI see a lot of personal trainers orthey're not even personal trainers itpeople on Instagram who you've got sixpacks for example and what they're doingis those they'll sell this kind ofcourse or they'll just keep constantlyshowing forwards of their abs and then Iwas getting a lot of people come in withinsecurities because I happens is you goon Instagram everyone's live in theirbest life everyone's got a careveryone's going on holiday a month theyread it to all friends in the middle ofthe night and they doing all this crazystuff and I'm thinking you saying thetruth another reason for this podcast isto give people the the cold hard truththat you're gonna have shit days youknow you're gonna you're gonna have gooddays but it's about trying to work onyour mindset trying to understand thepeople out there like like yourselveswho are going through this as well butthey're coming out on the other sidebasically and they're coming out with itwhether it's theconnection to God or whether it's theirdaily habits or the way they theenvironment we're in in the words for meI find that in the Bible I found that inmy relations with God I find out how hewas guiding me and leading me but thenat the same time then another powerfulpart was the boxing club hmm so I knew Ineeded a good community around me Ineeded friends I needed help you knowand for me as much as I've experiencedGod and his power in prison as much as Iwas now reading the Bible and prayingthe idea of going to church was wasforeign you know me but I rememberedfrom when I was a kid that I had a placewhere I was welcomed I had a place whereI was loved I had a place where I wasaccepted that was my boxing club so Iremember rather sheepishly driving backto my boxing club knowing I left therebecause I've got caught up in drugs andstuff knowing that I'd probably let themall down and wondering how they treat mewant to come back and I member pullingup in there in the carpark in there andthen so keV came out for the doors likeI lost one even recognized me and hesaid come in man we went in and like helet one of the other coaches carry onwith the class and stuff and went up andsign the classrooms upstairsit just checked me like you just heardmy story heard how old my life'sreturning to you know complete hustleyeah yeah except me like and you knowhe's not Christian himself but thevalues that he betrays their godly madethe beautiful and I mean the guy'sincredible May he was my first episodeand the reason he was my first episodeis because the world needs more of keVDylan and I don't think because he'snature and his job and stuff he's notaware of the whole selling himself formarketing himself and I'm kind of I wantto be his advocate because I just feelthat if people spend mine with himmay I mentioned on the podcast the bestyears of my life was when keV wastraining me on a one-to-one basis Iloved him I loved spending time with himI'm similar to keV I'm not a religiousperson but we share the same values andethics and I feel that whatever you findyour power through or your level of Hopethrough hold that tight I've never letgo because that's gonna that's gonna getyou through this world because and justhis way of thinking I mean he could sitthere and feel sorry for himself all thetime or he could judge youthere and I think it takes a big manlike yourself to come out and think okayI've let these people down many timesbefore can I step back in the reason soFairplay for dropping your ego therebecause I think that's another thing hehas we have a big sense of ego growingup yeah and if you can if you can getrid of the ego within yourself I justthink you live a much more fulfillinglifeno absolutely it's a blessing stillbeing a mop it still reading this Bibleand praying and still had these crazyexperiences may his cradles just in acrazy time but I start with the box in abox it becomes a place of stabilitybecomes a place of discipline and aplace where I'm accepted and then let meeven given the privilege of now to coachas well and I'm like somebody's puttingvalue in tomorrow if you see somethingit mean it's calling the help from me aswe've gotten more relation with God thesame things happening and I ended upthen going back to church I start goingto church I'll be honest because a girlinvited me and so I find myself inchurch against trying to buy anothercommunity of people that just love meand accept me for who I amand and then I heard the Gospel messagewhich is the central message ofChristianity that God loves you nomatter what you've done he wants toforgive you for no matter how muchbrokenness and how much pain you'vebrought into this world and wants togive you a second chance and so I sortof accepted that message and I believethrough the boxing and the community hadtheir through the valley the cave wasgiven me through the Bible through myexperience of God something in me justboldly changed and I had a new sense ofwho I was as a person and for me I wasstill taking drugs I never had anytroops counseling no referral workers nodrug dependency no no help or medicationjust gonna show us how we can justsaying this is one going to live for thenext week drugs just went has noaddiction as new need for it there'slike the void that was being filled withthe drugs or the void that has beenfilled with white say was darkness whichis full of light no best hope and it wasjust boom I'm free and you made justthat I just want to touch time thatsorry just before you carry on you makewhat you did there you made a decisionwhen you make a decision like you justmade there with convictionin the church saying listen you knowwhat this is me now this is my newidentity this is the new actually mixinI am no longer that person you've kindof ridding yourself of that past it'sjust powerful mate and I just want toelaborate on that thank you thank youyeah there's a beautiful passage in thebio leases and you must be born again soyou must have your whole life completedand he's set free from stuff so for meI've always wanted to be free the drugsI always knew it was wrong but there'slike something that just held me in itlike I don't know ever just like I saiddidn't have the conviction didn't havinga beliefdidn't have the sense of shrimp to getmyself out but now that moment standingin my church and I message your footmight not believe this is really trueit's almost as if BAM was born again youknow no man all right I felt likesomething just changed like it's crazy Ilove it's a massive change fromobviously where you fit first where wejust touch on that now so you you'reborn again it's your day like now thenbecause I'm hoping and I've got my handscrossed here that you're not on thestreets at any stage selling anythingdoing anything god you made so what'syour kind of like daily routine thatyou're doing that God the drumsdisappeared on peon they don't say onlyonly like you and you're kind of dante'syou're you're downplaying theachievements listen my biggest claim tofame was keV was gonna select me fornovice Nationals and I'd only had onefight previous to that and I took aninjury outside which is a story foranother day but I was so proud of thatbecause I know how hard it is to trainmate so fantastic mate well done forthat so thank you yeah so yeah I've donethe Box in than that and then I wascoaching the club and you know you justshrimp dish shrimp and then I've I wentto my church I was doing like aninternship at the same time trying toget my head into what the hell is thiscrazy Christian world all about why isthe truth a bit as opposed to the theChristianity of this portrayed in themedia what's the real story behind allthen my church said look we want to fundyou and pay for you to go to BibleCollege which is basically University soI went to university degree in thepriorities in church leadershipshe's the first class on this as wellrelations lady who's been in prisonhe's quite yeah massive massiveturnaround I love that from their churchso about six hundred churches in Britainand about three thousand around theworld as well they want to they'verecognized that my life changed Irecognized that there's something of Godin me and something's going on in mylife so they've probably now on to atraining program which is for the nextthree years become an ordained reverenta minister so I'm currently training tobecome a minister and church matebelieve or not may you're giving megoosebumps I contact you see you rightnowI promise you the hairs of light raisedOmaha from drugs to a degree to nowyou're going to be spreading the messageof what you believe in the future and Ibless my little boy and be there for himin an amazing life radically changed meI love the privilege that I have toshare this story because every time Ishare it I'm a I'm so grateful as wellmyself to be able to sit here and speakwith you as well whether honestly thisis this is fantastic and this is this iswhat it's all about spreading this kindof message as well your son's very luckybecause sometimes I feel in a wayyou have an advantage over other peoplebecause you've been you've been in thedark side mate you've been rock bottomand use this in it and you're not you'renot reading a book about somebody who'sbeen on the dark side and then trying tofabricate a story you've lived it youknow not on the other side and it givespeople hope and like likely touched onearlier hope is like one of the mostimportant things in the world cuz ifyou've nothing to hope for and nothingto wish for then life kind of becomesmeaningless you know a powerful man I'mreally happy for you you give megoosebumps mate it's the first timewe've really so I'm looking forward toobviously keeping this friendship goingin the future as well and whenever youdown at the gym is are trying to stuffmy boxing gloves on I love it okay soI'm gonna just switch it a little bitnow and I was gonna ask him at adversitybut I think pretty much hit like so manyaspects of your life in terms ofadversity but if I just put you on thespot a little bit here now for thelisteners he has an only chance to kindof prepare himself for this so let'sjust point to him but I'm sure you'lland you'll on the right answer me interms of adversity so now you've beenborn again and things are going well foryou you've got hmm I mean new missusyou're with your son now you're spendingtime with him things are going well foryou you've got your degree in everythingif let's just say now in the last coupleof months or the last year could youthink of a time where you've hadadversity again but knowing what youknow now and obviously finding the lighthow do you handle it now because I thinkit's really important for people torealize that life can still try andthrow you a curveball and then it's howyou react to it so just give you a bitof a back to do something I'm marriednow and my wife is an incredible womanyou know sometimes I think there must bea god because she's great obviously likeme my wife both came from Bergerbackgrounds she's also got quite a storyof hope and transformation zone andbhavish thing you come from a brokenback ground and that baggage doesn'tjust go away you know I mean they're allmindsets yes I'm a Christian now yes ibelieve in christian principles andmorals but still I'm on a journey untilI see journey and you don't just changejust is it a change that happens overand so the Christian Way obviously wedon't obviously try not to have sexbefore marriage and that's probably oneof the big Christian teachings and stuffI know the sex is a sacred thing savedfor marriage and which for me was veryforeign to the way I used to think andso obviously my wife struggled with thata little bit anyway but we decided thatwe was gonna wait until he's married andwe believe highly in the sanctity ofmarriage the marriage is an incrediblething that it should be entered intolightly and as opposed to our culturetoday is that if something's not workingif you had to throw it away start againand we're in a consumeristic culture soonce you've used something you justthrow it away if something's not workingproperly anymore you get rid of it get anew one and I think sometimes that kindof mentality especially in the 21stcentury carries forward into ourrelationships and so we're not always Idon't think you got to work on arelationship it starts to go wrong wejust think let's chop her out let's geta new model sort of thing and so for aChristian to not have the whole sectorfor marriage and then to get married andto believe that we're married in theeyes of God that we've been broughttogether because you know God wants thevery best for us and you have our veryhigh expectation of marriage and a highview of marriage but as you can imaginesee people that don't live together andthen they start to live together itcauses frictionyeah any two people coming together anytwo people with two different lifestyles and different ways of livingfriction and so I don't know if we hadan idealistic view of what life would belike I think for me I'm away from thefirst years of our marriage I supposewe've struggled a little bit just withthe whole being different people comingfrom broken backgrounds differentexpectations and stuff I did thebeautiful thing of having such a highview on the moment was that rather thanme thinking I'm gonna chop her and get anew one it was like I'm gonna dig inI've been through brokenness before I'vebeen through darkness before I've seenhow bad life from get you ain't gonnaget that bad again and I'm gonna pressthrough and say you saw look at thevictories from the past and you sort ofrely on them for victories in the futureand so me my wife worked out ourdifferences in just a flatironwe're stronger now and more in love nowthan we'd ever be if we hadn't have gonethrough what we went through I'll behonest mate sometimes you come humblywere going on that woman she doesmulatto it and I'm sure if she was inthis room she'd say exactly the samething about me but I love it to bits manand I thinkwithout going through what we wentthrough we won't have what we have nowand suppose yeah I loved that mayor Ithink it's remembering past victories tobelieve that they'll be presentvictories written victories of the pastas a sword not because I want toelaborate on that in a second but justbefore that you were making me smallwhile you were saying that and I waskind of so I put my vulnerability hereI'm a very emotional person so I kind ofget emotional when I hear stuff let upbecause the way I view my wife and mymarriage is the same as you it's it's avery very important thing for me I was abit of a dad back at Union I always madea promise at the moment I get married Iwill do everything in my power to be thebest man that I can be and I so oftensee people who maybe stray or just dojust do things that I don't necessarilyagree with so for me at man-to-manhearing somebody who has that sense oflove and the way you look at your wifemay I hold my heart of team because it'simportant because behind every monthgood man there's a good woman and I'mdoing the stuff that I am fortunate todo now I mean as we speak now and werecord this my wife's at work bless herand my aim is to get her out of workvery soon but if I couldn't have done alot of the stuff I've done in my life ifit wasn't for my wife and I'm verygrateful I love just hearing yourtransformation because although you weredoing all those things in the past thisperson this genuinely amazing person wasalways in there and I'm just glad thatyou managed to find it just to touch onthe victories of the past so what I findthat so powerful was because there's aguy called David Goggins I'm not sure ifyou follow him but he's somebody who Ifollow quite quite a lot religiouslybasically but he mentioned somethingcalled a cookie jar and what he does isall of these he calls it like a jar offuck what he does is every time he'sbeen through shit in his life he puts itinto this imaginary jar of fuck rightand he calls it like the cookie jar andthen what happens is when he's facedwith adversity in life he thinks back tothat Johnny's at hold on a minute I'mthat same guy who's been through all ofthis and I can get visit and goingthrough now and I think you've you'vedone it in your own way you've said thevictories of the past will help yousecure victories of the future which ithink is just as powerful lesson so mayit's fantastic that I mean you don'teven argue there guys and yet you'repreaching the same stuff as this guywho's in millions which is why I sayeveryone's story matters because yourstory matters and it's gonna it's gonnainspire lots of people sothat's fantastic man I wish you and yourwife all the best it'd be great to gether on the show as well which means I'mvery interested yeah I'm sure she wouldbe yeah yeah yeah definitely I'll put itto anywhere she says definitely meyeah she's got great story I love itmate I'm just gonna switch gears againI'm just conscious obviously I'm therunning time as well so where you arecurrently now in your life and I knowyou from like a physical aspect in termsof like your boxing and stuff and beingon the streets you're not really afraidof much or at least it doesn't seem likeyou're afraidbut let me ask you the question right inthis moment right now what is yourbiggest fear hmm okayI mean so fear is also a vulnerablething because we put high value one onfaith I suppose the ante that would befearing it so the opposite of faith isfear so fear for me would be that I'vebeen giving this incredibly beautifullife and I make an absolute mess of it Idon't use every single day to do all Ican to give back to the garden and tothe communities that have built so muchinto me so my fear would be that I mightjust make a mess of things you know Ilove thatso it's a great message and I'mconfident knowing where you are now Iwouldn't have been confident secure togo up I'm confident that you'll do thatmate and you've got a good communityaround you you've got mutual friends andafter this you know I consider you afriend and if you ever need any helpfrom me by all these new reach I am morethan happy to sort it on my hand so onthe basis of that and obviously now youfound your calling and you just touchthat you want to make an impact or justdo the best you can basically would yousay that's your main motivation orinspiration that kind of keeps you keepsyou going every morning or isn'tanything else other than your wife yeahyeah there's a couple of things Isuppose I suppose having a fear issomething to kind of drag you down or itcan propel you forward yeah so like fearis faithful it's believed in theopposite to the lies that we sauce andtell ourselves and for me a great sourceof hope for the future and a drive is isreading the Bible the Word of God andthere's some things in there may youread anything in there for 2,000 yearsnow and like so there's a passion systemall things work together for good forthe good of those who love God andthat's like everyone's thought I've seenpeople with tattoos if it sayseverything happens for a reason it'ssomething that was written in the Bible2,000 years ago some of the stuff that'swritten in there about you know she'smight be transformed by the renewal ofyour mind think on things are abovethink on things that are holy and goodand pure and just training your mind tothink positively to think the best of anegative situation is so powerful so andso yes but for me like in the morningjust haven't you know 20 minutes half anhour an hour even just reading thatcrazy book that inspires you knowbillions of people the world around itthat's a real motivator for me and thenthere's those moments where you seesomeone else they get it and the lightcomes on absolutely and I'm in you can II now work from a Christian company wework with kids that care system okay Imean you think my life's but these kidsmight day something like child sexualexploitation backgrounds and severe drugabuses from young age all kinds ofdomestic abuse and violence and stufflike kids that have been rejected bytheir families and their parents theirloan Society and they come through thesystem and it's basically teaching themat the one end to tidy a bedroom and tocook and clean and the other end tofunction in society and to see them justtake little steps it's beautiful and tobe involved in that kind of a processit's it's beautiful to do that sort ofthing is great it's goodyeah the motivator ultimately it'sliving not for yourself or for othersthere's a great power in buying intoyourself and when you know you no longerneed to let society think your yourwritten you've got it and you don't needto prove you accept yourself then youcan live for others and that's beautifulme Wow it is may may be may beabsolutely and you know I don't discountanything but I just worked so whatreally hit me there was a you might notknow this but I've got siblings who havebeen in the foster care so three mysiblings are whiteJosh Coyle and Kelsey and they camethrough the foster care system but thenwe went through guardianship so theybasicallythe family and my younger sister Illyais adopted as well so that was one ofthe reasons where why I personally wentinto social it because I want you to bethe best damn social worker in the worldand change the world because the life wehave made is a million times better thanthe life these kids have had in killyeah and for you to be doing such agreat thing now I'm just I'm so gratefulthat one you found like however youfound it but two you're also giving backbecause you're gonna be a massivepositive influence on these dude I loveit mate we've got a lot more in commonthan I thought other than boxing yeahwhat thing is I went into social work tocut a long story short because I was thebreaking as a project manager in LondonI was only more money than I knew whatto do it but there comes a time whereyou need something more than money toget you out of bed in the morning and itwas always I just want to help peopleand I send my siblings go through somuch shit that I was like I'm gonnachange the world but then when I gotinto social is the one thing that let medown was there's so much bureaucracythat you can't really change it thatmuch so what I've done is thought okaylet me use my presence and my brand andmy marketing and influences and let'stry and change the worldholistic Lee so reaching out to peoplelike you you've got a community reachingout to community centres and I'm tryingto make an impact where nobody say to meoh you've got a gold do some paperwork9205 I'm I'm doing this on my own and Iwant to kind of change the world as keyshares that sounds my own way but Ican't do it by myself which is why Ineed people like yourselves and othersto share this you'll really get togetherso I love it mate and just on that notethe buzzer has gone off so this is thepart of the show where we getinterrupted we change the script wechange the pattern and we're just goingto go into a quick five 60 secondsQ&A if you're ready yeah sounds good inthree two oneokay buddy the ability to fly or beinvisible or invisible for money or fame[Music]Netflix on YouTube YouTube Coke or Pepsioh would you rather know how you willdie or when you were dying when love ormoney love summer or winter summer yourfavorite place in the whole wideright here and right now love itwould you rather speak all of the actlanguages in the world will be able tospeak to animals all the languages ifyou could abolish one thing in the worldwhat would it be darkness your favoritesong ever oh man Christmas is aChristian song called how great howgreat is our God not for me volumes readminds or predict the future predict thefuture okay okay but time is up so soyou work with money didn't you at theend rather than fame the money or fame Ithink I went from money in the endbecause yeah with money you can do somuch for other people I love it and Ithink sometimes Fame can get in the wayKlein it because means is something thatdrives parade and elegance for me personyou know something I have to check on alot absolutely I love it me I love itokay so we're gonna go back into theinterview style of the questions againnow like I said you keep taking thewords out of my mouth at the minute soin relation to a reflection I always sayhindsight's a wonderful thing and uponreflecting we can always think of wayswhere we can do things quicker or get toa certain place earlier or easier but Ialways say the journey teaches us a lotas well and yeah it's something that Ifeel everything happens for a reasonwhich is kind of what you touch them onso if you can go back to say one momentin your life where maybe you werestruggling or you really found a turningpoint and you could fast track all yourprogress knowing exactly what you knownow what would that time be and whatwould you actually say okay um I thinkthis is difficult is fun I think becauseyou said you put a lot of emphasis onthe journey already I think it's thejourney that makes you who you areand so I mean I think I had to go topresent I won't want to not I've gone toprison because I think that was suchcrucial integral part of my journey toexperience what I experienced I wouldn'twant to stop myself and go in there so Idon't think I would be Who I am todaybut I think it's just something so it'simpolite I mean we always look inward sooften and when we look in words when Ihave people upset and his diet is brokenthen we look out but everything else Ilook so much better I think just lookingup just the words look up I love that Imean personally I've obviously been aman of faith I'd say just look up mm-hmmbut the journey they say it's crewit's hard it is may it molds you intothe person that you are mice well Isuppose it's more for the fact that thereason I always ask this question isbecause I wouldn't change your journey Iwish you suffered less pain in your lifepersonally but at the same time I'mgrateful that you've been through yourjourney and you come out the other sidebecause mate you're gonna do amazingthings in the world and I truly believethat but I just feel that if say forinstance there was another carbon copyof yourself but we can just take away alittle bit of their pain maybe and alittle bit of their hardship if therewas something that we could necessarilysay for I take your own I take youranswer on board I think it's fantasticanswer so thank you thank you so there'sonly really one more question that Ialways like to ask my guests for thelisteners and that is basically if sayfor instance in 150 years time we are nolonger about and you know here's a bookon the table and this book is about youso what would that book be called andwhat would the blurb at the back of ittell us about Ashley Nixon I stuffed methat what would the book be Colin yeahlet's go from the blimp cuz I've thrownthat in myself here from darkness tolight no matter how dark has been thisjourney of darkness will turn to I don'tknow it's hard to think of a blurb on itbecause blows becoming like trying tocapture all of what we've said orparagraph it's I think no matter howdark and how broken things can get thereis always a way outand this story will show you the way outwill help you to be inspired to as wellI love it something along them lines Idon't know I have to pee I love it Ilove that and just thinking out loudwhat I would call it just on this Iwould call it that's coming fromsomebody who does it necessarily followGod but I just think the lessons thatyou just taught me today the lesson thatI live by anyway so it's kind of you'resaying stuff dumb like hold on a minuteis that in the Biblereally and that's fascinating for melike I'm always eager to learn more andtry and become a better person so Iappreciate you for that I just want toend this now because I think it'simportant May and I know you're notalways on social media selling yourstory I always try and get people tosell their stories rather than you knowhaving to see people who are sellingcourses andall that shit on social media I thinkit's more important people sellthemselves and they sell their truestory and what they can offer to theworld and I think you've got somethingto offer so if there's one place thatpeople can connect with you what wouldbe the best way that people can reachout to you I suppose Facebook he's theone for me like I wasn't always onsocial media was always into that sortof thing but I recognized it is a placewhere people connect so powerfully soyou know I mean and people share so muchof themselves on there and so I've got aFacebook account on mine avid post thereis a bit more of my story on there forpeople to recap over if they want to aswell so yeah it suppose Facebookdefinitely and I don't mind peoplesaying formal questions the one okayfantastic so for anyone listening pleasedo reach out it's actually mixing onFacebook I'll put all the links andeverything in the show notes so you canliterally download it what I would justsay and again I'm not trying to add workor anything it's just the kind ofthought off the top of my head is youcould potentially and maybe this issomething in the future mate is maybestart a community it could be called alittle company could be called whateveryou want to call it right and I think ifyou can get people who may be Christiansmay be believers or people that havesinned such a dark place because I'lltell you something there's there's ahell of a lot more people than justyourself you have company thistransformation or or need thistransformation I feel that like you saidFacebook's very powerful maybe thinksomewhere you create this a nice safehaven for people where they feel safeand I just think you've got a greatmessage mate it's been an absolutepleasure speaking to you and yourselveslooting honestly it's been brilliant Ilove to get you back on the podcastagain maybe with your missus or yourmissus on a separate one because I feellike everyone's got a story and I justwant to thank everyone for tuning in asalways thanks for listening and rememberthis podcast is absolutely free so allwe ask in return is for you to sharethis with a friend and drop us a 5-starreview over on iTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 4 - F*ck it by Joshua AsquithJoshua Asquith, is a genuinely loveable guy. He was a talented athlete destined to do great things, which he did. A World title in New York for kickboxing, semi professional football, acting in Macbeth to modelling he had the world at his feet.Until the death of his two close friends suddenly rocked his world. He then got hit with Quinsy illness along with more health complications. But with a mindset of a true champion, my UK Rock (a nickname I give him) has found a way to control what he can control.His mindset. He adopts a F*ck it mentality but the most beautiful thing about his story is, he sees himself as “ The luckiest man in the world”.I urge you to follow his story and watch this space as he comes out of his comfort zone to prove that physical or mental challenges should never stop you from being average or giving up.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josh_asquith/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into the show today so this episode offind your voice has really changed myperspective and I suppose this is one ofthe reasons I wanted to do this showbecause I believe everyone has a storyand there's some powerful stories outthere that just not being told now I'mvery grateful for my guests coming onthe show because although I know himthrough the property world I had no ideaabout the other things that were goingon in his life now at such a young agehe has done more things then more thingsthan I've done and he's done things thatI suppose I wish I could have done butmore importantly than that I'm moresignificant to this story and I hope youcan extract this from the end of thepodcast is how he's persevered throughso much adversity and when I say so muchadversity I mean there's a point in thepodcast where I've kind of had to stophim listing the amount of stuff thathe's going through for the simple factthat why it was hard to comprehend but -I felt like the message was alreadythere and I'm here to get him back at alater stage so we can obviously explorethat a little bit more but I rememberedand somewhere in the podcast you'regonna hear this I refer to him as the UKrock now I'm not talking about thatstick of candy that you get up that polepleasure Beach I'm talking about rockersin the Dwayne Johnson because he givesme inspiration or watch him on Instagramand it gets me to the gym in the morningit makes me kind of eradicate my excusesbut this gentleman that I spoke to doesthe same because he's battling far worsethen Dwayne the rock Johnson atsuch as young age as well and his storyis still being written I've managed tobring him out of his comfort zone toshare his story so hopefully you guyscan appreciate that and I do appreciateyou time because it's difficultsometimes sharing some of the storiesand there are some points in thispodcast which I don't even think he'sfamily knew about as well so I'm gonnastop rambling and let's check out thisepisodeokay so firstly I just want to begin bywelcoming Joshua to the show so how'reyou doing today my friend very goodthank you you yeah not too bad thank younot too bad so I just want to say thankyou for taking time out of your dayfirstly and I've briefly introduced youin the introduction myself but I thinkit's important for the listeners to geta feel for who you really are and tohear from yourself so if you wouldn'tmind if you could just explain how youbasically progress through life andended up where you are now okayso well first of all thank you forhaving me no you're welcome anythinglike this before so this should be fun Ithink it's probably easiest to startwhere I am now it's not a particularlylong journey but it's quite a packed oneI'm 24 I'm Josh I'm a physiotherapistand I'm currently just hopefully gonnabe a property investor soon all thingsbeing well God willing you will be sostart another child I am I was reallyreally lucky I had a really nice mothershe gave me everything she works allhours of the day so much so that for thefirst few years of my life I really sawthat much of her cuz she was always justkind of working hard and slaving away togive me and my sisters a good life I hadan amazing step dad and I had aintermittent real biological fatherthroughout reels a bad word my Stefan ismy real dad book and biological fatherand I saw every couple of weekends andcame down to Birmingham because that'swhere his family are so I got to have alittle bit of my black heritage a mixedrace by the way because you can't reallysee it no I Rachel whatever you want tocall it and played a lot of sportsbeing a kid through school and I am alsodid a an African recreation of Macbethwith some really famous actors which wasreally interesting experience althoughit kind of fit with some of the thingsthat I went to go and do in my teens soin my teens I am through school wasfairly normal with the exception of Iwas fighting as a kickboxer for GreatBritainso from kind of why I went whentraveling around New Zealand with myfamily in year eight of school so I wasprobably 13 got back start playing somefootball got given some trials for alocal football academy near me and theywere preseason trials so I went throughGoogle to see if I could find somewherethat keep me fit over this summer foundthis place advertised as fitnesskickboxingI fell in love with it very quickly andfrom then on I kind of never went to thetrials never pursued it that muchfurther and started fighting I had myfirst fight fortunately or unfortunatelyfor me it was with the current worldchampion from my age group and my weightand did really well- just somehow scrape a victory off himhe's now one of my really good friendsactually and then from then on I kind ofthought well maybe I'm not too bad atthis so stuck it out eventually carriedon fighting every week around thecountry and then ended up fighting forGreat Britain which was really nice gotto travel around the world then got myfirst proper world title in New Yorkwhich was kind of cool went out therethen I came home went back to school fora few dayswhen then we're back to training andthen got called up to go and fight Ithink that my next one was I picked upin Florida mm-hmm then I did I went tofight for a European title in Romebrought my toe in the finals it's kindof like knockout stages to get therebrought my toe in the final came reallyclose second then yeah so I kind of justcarried on traveling got to see somewhat got to see some really really coolplaces like Sicily Serbiaand then I managed to keep up my gradesthrough school so kept my mom happy keptmy stepdad happy and then I got to about17 and it all started to change quiterapidly from there can I just stop youjust for a quick second just before wego into that so obviously you've had avery very dull boring life and not notreally done much but they're just somany questions that it's almost likewatching a listen to a movie so I justwanna ask you a couple of questions justquickly then would jump straight backinto where you weigh the cost so youplayed Macbeth it was that sort of likewas it a school role or was it sort ofan external audition or oh yeah sorry soit was kind of there was an arm to theyoung Shakespeare come okay they werekind of doing some diverse work theywere travelling around the country andthere's some adult actors in it as welland I just I don't know how I came abouthaving this audition but ended upauditioning for this role and then I wasin a park in Salford called Horton parkwith my mum just having a picnic and shegot a phone call saying that I'd beenaccepted to play the role of youngMacduff Wow all right Mac Duff sorry soit was Macbeth that was the math wasthat play my role was young Magda rightokay shows how much I know aboutShakespeare okay have you done any sortof acting since then or that was thelast of my kind of theater acting I wentI wanted to go back into it and then gotsidetracked by football but then when Iturned about 17 mm-hmm I actually know16 when I left school I went back intoacting kind of by accident okay andanother one I've got here is kickboxingso I grew up as a massive massive VanDamme fan fan I'm not sure if you if youknow him I do I'm fantasticI would have loved to have donekickboxing and so kick box for GreatBritain that's fantastic but then youwent on to football as well yesWow okay out of the two if you have tochoose one and if you could have pursuedit for the rest of your career which onewould you have gone withvery very very good question I wouldn'tkick boxing I would say okay yeah I'mpassionate I love football I'm reallyreally passionate about football whatkickboxing gave me a and kind ofextended family around the world hmmand in terms of the places you've beenyou mentioned Sicily with what was whatwould you say was the greatest placethat you've seen oh the most interestingplace I've seen was Serbia I think ohwow why'd you say that because where westayed we got as with the Great Britainteam we got pop in a five-star hotel andthis five-star hotel was kind of like ait was built within a mall or the mallwas it built within the hotel I don'treally know which one but it was hugebut as he looked across the road you sawall the old war torn houses it still hadbullet holes in them and things likethat and it was a reality shock it wasone of those places where you have toget police escort around with you fromBritain and oh wow that must've beensome experience yeah it was sorry yeah Ijust had all these questions thinking ohmy god this guy's done a lot we're noteven at 17 yet so yeah sorry if you wantto continue from 17 you said it went alittle bit downhill yeah so it didn't gostraight downhill it kind of seems apeak fairly early I was playing footballand we're playing an elite called theNorthwest Youth Alliance which isessentially the the Youth League of thesemi-pro football teams around theNorthwest and it was kind of like thehighest non professionalsemi-professional level you could be atbelow 18 if you weren't in one of thosePro slash semi-pro first team selectionsso I was playing there and having areally really good time really enjoyingmyself and I'd also signed to a modelingagencyat that point for a little bit of extramoney and there is between shoots wherehour between castingswell I'd actually been cast there wasthe occasional day of extra work and oneday I got a phone call saying do youwant to do a day of extra work and Ithought kind of thought well it beatsgoing to college so yeah did a day ofextra work up to do my college workthere anyway just quickly jump in onthat if anyone out there listeningthis says they've got no time to doanything extra I just not gonna believehim because I don't know how you'll fitin all this in sorry carry on me ofcourse and so I kind of did a few moredays of extra work and then it kind ofjust evolved into doing a few one-lineroles in different TV programs and thenI joined then after that I thought maybeI should learn what I'm doing soenjoying like a drama group that'sreally well-known in the northwest andjoined a drive during an acting agencyand was being put forward for somereally good roles and at that time I wasalso just about to hit sponsorship fromone of the kind of biggest martial artsfight companies that were around at thetime so it's doing really well asplaying well at football my grades aregoing well at college and then all of asudden I got back to got back to collegeand I was just having a few days offfrom everything that was doing just totry and recover recuperate and I wasdriving from my mom's to my Nan'swhich was not very far away less than amile away and I remember getting a phonecall down a one-way street and Ianswered the phone on speakerphone andchucked it on the front sea and it wasjust somebody in floods of tears and Ithought why are you calling me in footto tears and it was a phone call to saythat one of my oldest ever friends hadgot meningitis and died in the nighthe'd got it the day before and he hedied in the night and I am so I kind ofjust stopped the car and couldn't moveit mmm I had to put the phone down tocall my mom and ask her would she comewalk for the car and drive it around tomy Nan's mm-hmmand I think that kind of I think thatwas probably the start of maybe it was astress or something in my in my lifethat started maybe it was something thestraw that broke the camel's back fromwhen I was carrying too much from do ifI'm acting fighting playing footballdoing my college work oh I also had ajob at McDonald's which is just in yourspare a few hours yeah so it's kind oflike and now I was where I should haveprobably beenleave I was I was working at McDonald'sfor a little bit of extra money and I'myes I'll then I kind of a few weeksafter that I was grading for my blackbelt and missed it quite a few timesthough I'd have to go and do my blackbelt and then a fight had come up andI'd take that instead because thought Iwas probably more important as part waythrough my black garden I got this kindof it was just a sore throat and myblack back was actually down nearTelford somewhere and I live in inBolton which is I don't know two hoursaway or something like thatand I was and I got this sore throat andwelcome the next day no tonsillitis andI thought nothing of it going to collegeand have some salt water couple ofparacetamol see how it gets on all thetime I was kind of like trying to dealwith my my grief so I thought wellactually maybe just kind of felt badbecause I was in a bad headspaceand it was coming up to exam time andall the rest of it and I am so it neverreally went away so I went to the doctorwho's got some antibiotics it clearedaway for a couple of days came back andthat process kind of repeated about Ithink it was 14 15 times I got someslices in a rowbetween going to the doctors gettingpainkillers and I'm one of thoseoccasions I am my at my mum's house thefloors are on different levels it's areally old house and my mum's on thevery top floor my bedroom is on themiddle floor and I kind of there was apoint where I hadn't eaten anything forabout ten days I've lost 11 kilos inbody weight and I was just lay in my bedjust sweating and in agony and Icouldn't I went to take a tiny codeinetablet to kill some of the pain and Ithink it closed what little was left ofmy throat so I couldn't so I kind ofcrawled upstairs mom or dad's room andthat's kind of last thing I rememberso I got the hospital and they were theysaid that you were very lucky becauseyou were if you'd come any later thenthat kind of would have been the end ofyou on that's what it said to my mom Iwasn't particularly awake for of courseyeah and this was what when your17:18 yeah 17 on the brink of 18 soeventually that cleared up happenedagain and it was because of somethingcalled Quincy's which are kind ofabscesses which sit behind these tonsilsand they're filled with just bacteriawhich when they burst they give you theycan give you some really serious sepsisbut Maya just burst so I was lucky to bein the hospital as mine burst so I wasluckier than most that get that then ithappened again about six months latercut the rest of that story short becauseit's quite a long story of me being outis there a reason why that happened oris it just literally like a bacterialinfection or was it a matter of youbeing perhaps rundown or everythingbecause you were doing about 300 thingsa day I think maybe it was being sorundown and then being stressed becausewhat I forgot to mention was in thisother time there was a close friend ofmine it was a female friend of mine thathadn't died sushi she had a headachejust never with a headache and it turnsout that she had a brain tumor so oneside kind of recovered from the coupleof rounds of Quincy's and my differentbouts of tonsillitis I am I had 18months of what they call post-viralfatigue syndrome which is essentiallyjust anybody's and there's kind of likeI didn't have the energy to do anythingfor the first six months if I wanted toget from my bed to downstairsI would have to have somebody eitherside of me because my legs weren'treally strong enough to carry me fromanywhere to anywhere and if if I so Icould manage kind of a longer landing tothe toilet because I could crawl it'dtake me a while so it'd be like I'm thefirst woman black right set off nowbecause if you need a way then you wantto get caught shortso about I had about six to twelvemonths of not being able to kind of beleft on my own for too long just becauseI couldn't do anything for myself reallyI couldn't I couldn't struggle to liftmy shoulders from the bed it felt likesomebody had nailed big nails throughthe front of my shoulders andinto sorry if I went quiet because I waslooking at my shoulders just rememberingnice line into the bed then after that Ikind of thought oh well kind of on themend here now so I started to get alittle bit fitter and I thought rightI'll go back to football training so myteam were nice enough to have me backwent back to football training minusthree training sessions of me doing kindof 25% of what the rest of the team weredoing and then I got home at one pointand my left knee just ballooned I don'tknow if anybody's ever injured their ACLbut I've seen one but it's kind of likeyou need your swells up goes purple butand I thought or mine hasn't gone purpleso maybe it's something else but Icouldn't it was so strong I couldn't fitmy trousers on the next day so I thoughtoh well I'll ice it and blah blah blahrested it never went away went to thedoctors they gave me someanti-inflammatories it never went awaythey sent me to a consultant who did asome keyhole surgery never went away andthen so they sent me to RheumatologyDepartment to see what was going onthey sent give me lots of blood testsand nothing came back positive theydrained the fluid couldn't figure outwhat it was as soon as they drained thefluid it came back every single time andduring this process it lasted about ninemonths of me going back and forth allthis time I felt really lethargic andjust not like the old me that could doall those other things I could barelyfind the energy to juice go to collegeor to just go and well I got fired frommy McDonald's job for being too ill andso oh sorry you feel strange bringing itall back I can only imagine so yeah fromfrom there kind of then as they kind offigured out what was going onit sort of deteriorated and it spreadfrom my knee to my left hip and then Icouldn't really use my left leg verywell a lot of the time which theythought caused a problem in my right hipturns out it was just the same problemand then it moved up from my hiptwo joints in my back and then it spreadup through the majority of my back itspread into my fingers spread into mytoes and it got to a point where as Igot to a kind of I got through mya-levels got really good grades somehowsomebody was looking over me gone to aphysiotherapy course as that kind of allwas happening I was just getting worseand worse and kind of more and I don'tsay disabled because it's not a greatword but I was I wasn't able to do thethings that to do anything and kind ofalways felt like I had the flu my eyeswere always on fire and it messed withthe way that my urinary function workedand all kinds of other problems and thenit got to a point where I justcompletely intermittent that completelycould not move so in my second year ofuniversity at the end of it I am I justthose days where probably three days outof the week I was bed bound anyway thisis getting probably getting bored no noit's not to be honest I mean in theintro which everyone hears and one ofthe reasons for this podcast is tobasically and to combat people's excusesbecause I believe that we always lookand we always think the grass is greeneron the other side or we've got it worsethan other people and we always give usour some rationale or reason in what wecan't particularly do something and thewhole premise behind this podcast itselfis to hear people who have gone throughsuch adversity but are still getting onwith it and just because at the end ofthe day there's a guy interviewed theother day and he mentioned you've gottwo choices in life you either gobackwards or you go forwards and mm-hmfor me it's inspiring to hear you sayall this because even myself and I'mguilty of this myself is I'm known asthe guy with the really poor immunesystem because I always catch a coldI've got a tissue in my hand as werespeaking now it's the kind of person Iam I'm always known for the guy withKleenex and people laugh I should haveshares with them but I've I've alwayssuffered but at the same time I'vealmost become a victim of my own storyas well because I mean I'm here tellingpeople they shouldn't make excuses orthe stories we tell ourselves butdictate our lives and I'm sitting herefeeling sorry for myself because I getcold easily and I've just listened toyour story and I'm just thinking I'vegot it so easy and and I'm sure I'm surepeople listening to this up it I thinkin the same because when I first saw youas wellI always recognized someone who keeps ingood shape and looks after him andyou've got very good physique you lookwhile you look like you eat welltraining well and you've got all thisgoing on in the background and up untilthis conversation now where I'veactually asked you specifically if youwould have mind opening up just fortheir listeners you've never mentionedyou never mention any of these excusesso I think it's admirable to be honestmate and it's inspiring so I wouldn'tfor one second think it's boring I thinkthank you people should hear this andpeople should take inspiration from itbecause I'd be very shocked if someonelistening to this has had that muchtrauma and not to mention at the age of17 you've also lost two of your bestfriends I mean I I've dealt with griefand I'm sure many of my listeners andeven some of the people I've interviewedhave dealt with a lot of grief and lossof family but I was what 26 27 wouldn'twhen it happened to me I don't know if Ihad the emotion of stability at 17 if Ihad gone through what you'd gone throughto manage the same way so pleasecontinuehonestly it's inspiring me okay as longas I'm not boring anybody no I'll makebasically I managed to get throughUniversity with a few other challengeswhich I'll touch on later but he got toa point it kind of everything that wasgoing through reared its head kind oflast year so up through all the stillfrom kind of age 17 to age 24 yeah 24 Ikind of I was kind of plowing on yes butnothing ever felt right like I neverfelt like I had the energy to do what Iwas doing but I was doing it anyway butI never felt like I could my attentionspan dwindled massively and and it wasjust hard to kind of couldn't have makea plan because I didn't know whether Iwas gonna need my crook shoes or whetherI was gonna be bed bound or whether Iwas gonna be okay to go and walksomewhereand it wasn't all doom and gloom withinthis because at one point I was onreally really high dose of steroidsand I felt like Superman for about sothat explains your physique then 2021and I just managed to kind of keep itfrom there I suppose I got I got luckythere but throughout all of this I waskind of despite the fact that I couldn'tsoexplains what really said last year oreven this year as opposed to a certainextent it kind of I got to a point whereI was on my crutches for two or threedays a week I was stuck in bed for twoor three days a week then the othercouple of days a week I was kind of Iwas I wouldn't say okay but I was goodcompared to the other bits so sometimesI'd have a couple of days where I wasgood sometimes I'd have one daysometimes out of four days I've neverreally know so I couldn't really makeany particular plans and I got to apoint where it was creeping up my spineso much that driving to work as a I'dalways be on my crutches at work as aphysiotherapist which came with its ownset of challenges not one not only beingthe jokes of all maybe you need a physioor can I help you where there's kind oflike eight speed bumps between there onthe route that I take to the clinicwhere I work and see most of my patientsand those peoples are only you couldeasily do thirty miles an hour over themand not particularly feel it but my backwas so sore that by the end of thosespeed bumps there was a I'd have to turnleft a junction some traffic lights andI would have to pull the car over at thetraffic lights loved to get out of thecar just to try and catch my breathbecause I was so I was so winded andI've broke I've been kicked in the ribsand broken themsemia I've had all sorts of pain book Iwas in so much painevery day going over these people I justhad to pull the car over and just gaspedfor air just to try and just so I couldfinish my journey to work Wowall the time while this was happening Iwas trying different medications whichweren't helping with the pain but one ofthem is a it's quite a commonly useddrug in rheumatology it's calledmethotrexate and it's in thechemotherapy family and it the sideeffects that fairly similar you don'ttend to lose your hair but the sideeffects such as vomiting and so I wouldtake my medication on Monday and spendTuesday and Wednesday kind of over thetoilet bowl when I could get there andand I would have to excuse myself frommy patients or I'd actually just takedays away from clinic or I'd just breakinto random sweats while I was talkingto people and just almost saturatemyself in sweat as a as a side effect ofthe medication and I am I had some otherhealth problems that going on at thesame time so kind of 18 months ago theyfound I had an x-ray just to track theprogress of the disease through myjoints and they found a tumor in my hipso for the past few years with the pastfew years for the past few months beingunder investigation for some cancer inmy hip all of the medications that hadbeen taken it kind of slowed my kidneyfunction down to below 20% so thosetalks of me needing some specialistkidney treatment or potentially gettingto the point where I'd need a kidneytransplant if things didn't pick up andyeah so that's kind of my health story Ikind of lost for words to be honest ermI think more importantly just currentlyI wish you all the best with the cancerscare hopefully is just a scare I knowcancer has affected millions of peopleacross the world is is broken through myfamily as well so mm-hmm it's somethingthat I don't know I just have a bad badtaste in my mouth when I think of cancerso hope hope to God and I'm not areligious man but I pray you know yourecovery I think you've been I think youcould do with a little bit of luck mateto be honest because you've sort ofcollected everybody's illnesses and howyou still manage to keep smiling andstill keep going and you're not sittingthere making excuses and I'm actuallyamazed because lucksaid earlier this is the first timewe've spoken really in-depth about aboutyour life and stuff I mean looking fromthe outside it's a completely differentperspective I mean nobody would thinkthat you've been through half of thisand and I'm sure you could probablyspeak for another 20 minutes on some ofthe stuff that you're experiencing andI'm not trying to move past that becauseI think it's important but I think thelesson is here already that peopleshould really just feel grateful foreverything that we have and it's thelittle things in lifewe're often chasing some sort ofdestination in terms of it's going togive us happiness when we've goteverything that we technically need ifwe just look at it in the right way tobe happy now I've got a lot ofadmiration for you mate you're young aswell so you keep going and hopefullythings will just start turning backaround for you I believe that yourthoughts matter as well so I'm not quitesure how you are in terms of your yourmindset and stuff but I do believe andI've done a bit of research I know I'mnot an expert that how we speak toourselves can dictate our physiologymm-hmm I know for myself for example ifwe use the analogy that I used to bescared of dogs and if somebody mentioneda dog for example my physiology wouldchange I would almost mmm as if the dogwas there and I think here I thinkpeople are aware of sometimes theirthoughts it might not necessarily belike a spider or a snake but sometimeswe're giving ourselves these fearfulthoughts that are affecting ourphysiology so hopefully you're workingon your mindset I'm sure you are I knowyou're doing pretty much everything elseso hopefully you're developing on thatand if you wouldn't mind if I could justbecause I'm fascinated by how you keepgoing and I'm sure listeners areprobably thinking firstly how is thisguy doing all this in 24 hours and thensecondly with all these complicationsthat you've got but if you could justexplain a day in the life of your lifenow so say for instance from the momentyou wake up to the moment you go tosleep because I just think it'simportant because if there are peoplethat out there making excuses for whatthey can't do stuff or they're justfeeling a bit under the weather andmyself included in that I'm not perfectthank you just how of course yeah so Idon't have a set routine because I'venever been able to have a set routinebecause I don't know whether I couldactually make our bed to do my day ornot but I docertain things that that do regardlessof whatever condition I wake up in andthe first thing I do is I wake up andcontrary to what everybody tells you isI checked my phone and I checked myphone in fear that somebody has sent mesomething that would be something Icouldn't get over maybe I've lost allthat I wouldn't like to see maybe I'velost a family member or something and ifthat's not the case then I go straightinto believing that I'm the luckiest manI know which puts a smile on my faceAbsalon I'll put something I put somenice music on usually it's a song calledthe fire by John Legend and the roots itinspires me that song and or somethingby Stevie Wonder or something justsomething half-baked something that I'veheard and something that keeps me in agood place and then if I can move I'llget up and I'll have a dance to thissong well nobody's watching absolutelyright luck cheers me up a bit and then Ilove that attack my day home usually ifI haven't some kind of thing planned inthe morning I will be awake two and ahalf hours before it if possible justbecause if I'm if I wake up and I'mincredibly sore and stiff then sometimesI can feel a little bit better in two totwo to three hours time something likethat so I just give myself that gap forjust in case but that's kind of my onlydaily routine I suppose okay okay and interms of exercise and stuff I mean Ithink you've done enough exercise by theway to last a lifetimebut if we are talking about exercisebecause I believe and I always try andpromote with my clients as well thatexercise is fundamental because you canliterally take some of the the mainthings from that in terms of likeresilience and building calluses andstuff into anything so do you still areyou still able to exercise maybe two orthree times a week or do you kind ofknock that on the head and look look atmore on how you're feeling and thenassess the day as you go on if Iphysically can do something then I willdo itI believe that rule that I have so if itmeans that I have to crawl to a place todo some exercisewhere my bottom half doesn't work and mytop half does then I'll do what I canwith my top half Wow and that is my onlyrule so sometimes it's just my left sidewhich I can't stand on or can't use orthen my right side is perfectly lookingI'm looking after two sides and thatside will work or if it's my right sidethat doesn't work then maybe my leftside is useful so I try my new actuallyhave a mutual friend that put my stateis about fitness goals and my fitnessgoal for this year is to do whatever ittakes to be well enough to beconsistently able to go to the gym anddo what I wanttwice a week by February 21st so you canhome it to that I've already made you'veactually got me feeling guilty nowbecause I did some cardio in the morningand I was planning on doing a legsession around 12:00 and I had a littlebit of Dom's and I was like now I'm notgonna do it and I wish I'd recorded thisearly because may inspire me to get myass to the gym because I feel bad nowbut I just loved what you said then I'vejust made a note of it I'm lucky enoughto have two sides and I think that'sincredible because that's perspectiveand I suppose maybe you've kind of beenforced into this reality I think a lotof people go through adversity and itmakes them stronger and they do verywell on the flip side you get people whogo through adversity and they just sitthere and feel sorry for themselves ahole their whole life you also haveanother set of people I believe on amacro level who don't really necessarilyhave the adversity or haven'texperienced it yet and they're kind ofwaiting for it they're kind of waitingfor that wake up wake-up calland I just wish that they could get somesort of inspiration or motivation orwhatever you want to call it fromsomebody like yourself because like likeyou mentioned previously like with withthe death of your your friend and likelife could just be taken away tomorrowor your own capabilities I mean you werein an extremely talented athlete and allof a sudden now you're kind of verygrateful just to be able to go to thegym twice and I just find it thatsometimes we think I will leave it tilltomorrow we'll leave it to next year andthat's not promised it's it's a shameyou don't actually actually I'm nottrying to give you another job here butit's a shame you don't you don't youdon't post more oftenabout your life and story because I'lltell you what you didn't fire a lot morepeople because I get inspired by peoplelike say for instance the rock and Ithink the whole world loves the Rockieskind of like the ultimate guy andsometimes you feel like you can't bebothered to do something you'll see youstay ascent boom you're off but foryourself to get there mate you are youare actually my UK rock at the minute sothat's a new name for you so keep it upbut if you do get time I think the worldwould love to hear a little bit moreabout you and hopefully this episode aswell will give give them a little bitmore of an insight into into your storybecause it's fascinating so far mereally enjoyed it and I've also got aI've just made a note I need to listento the fire by John so that's someonenext list I'm gonna move it over and I'mgonna move it over to fears at theminute you seem kind of unbreakable tome but if I was to ask you what yourbiggest fear is given that you've beenthrough so much alreadywould that be I thought thought long andhard about this question and I mean I'mgonna give you a bit of round the housesanswer and so I'm kind of scared ofeverything there's not many things inlife that doesn't scare mekind of walking down the street scaresme to an extent but by that same virtuethere's nothing really that scares mebecause everything seems to scare me anequal amount so I'm not gonna be pirateif I'm not paralyzed by a paralyzingcondition I'm not gonna be paralyzed bymy fears especially if I'm scared ofeverything in everybody so there's notreally anything that scares meother than mediocrity I suppose I don'tparticularly believe that I was put hereto be mediocre and fall into the crowdand to be and just to not make adifference to anybody else's life so Ithink not filling that purpose that Ibelieve I've held and that's kind ofscares me I love that well in thisconversation may I feel like I just feelcloser to you as a person now I don'thaven't you opened up and I've got a lotmore respect not that I never had anymore respect anyway that kind of comeout the wrong way but generallylistening to your story andunderstanding what you said I've got somuch admiration for you and I was I sithere sometimes and I I do a lot of selftalking mm-hmm what I always do is I wassafer in somewhere can I always give myself his self talk like I'm the baddeston the planet for example it's kind oflike a David Goggins thing love it whoelse is working at 5 or 5 a.m. in themorning and now all of a sudden I knowwhat I'm gonna be doing in the morningI'm gonna be thinking Joshua's work youknow he's ill he's got about six jobs todo he's gonna go to Mackey's and weapply for a job because he's bored Ibetter get going so I'm May hats off toyou honestly I salute you thank you sonormally at this stage I kind of jump inand ask people about adversity and and Idon't even know where to start with youmate because I think you've had obstacleafter obstacle after obstacle that youyou seem to be facing but but I'm gonnaask you anyway because I'm sure there'sthat there's a lesson here for thelisteners here that they can take awayso if you could just tell me about atime that you faced great adversitysomething that you haven't maybementioned at the minute and how youpersevered through it and then if youcould just explain the lessons and whathe's taught you because I think someonelike yourself who's given given thatexample it's gonna mean a lot more thansomebody just reading a book or readinga quote yeah so and I'm gonna pick aperiod of a couple of months in my lifewhere everything kind of went a littlebit wrong I'm gonna choose the Christmasof the end of my second year atuniversity and so they'd reached a pointwhere as I've mentioned before I wasn'tparticularly fit enough to go and workas a I would have worked as a waiter orsomething because that's what I've donein my bits where I was fitting like myfirst year Union College and there was apoint where I wasn't fit enough to doany of that my student loan wasn'tparticularly covering my rent at allI had a bursary to train which didn'twhich covered me to eat and a few of mybills but I was kind of like 1999 poundsinto a 2,000 pound overdraft and it wasabout the Christmas and it was aboutChristmastime so I was kind of I askedmy during that time as well I should saythat my um my stepdad had left my mom soand just because they parted ways atwhich meant that I was kind of the onethat was there to kind of I was up till4:00 in the morning with my mom or withmy sisters who were just kind of alldevastated by it and at the same time Ideadlines to me etc and and all thattime I had bills that I couldn't pay soit was kind of a point where I had askedmy mom for Christmas could I have somemoney to buy my younger and my oldersisters and some Christmas presentsthere's otherwise they wouldn't have gotanything from me and I would never havethem miss out just because I'dmismanaged my money or whatever and soall the time whilst this was going on mymy nan on my mom's side had got aserious case of rapidly deterioratingoutsiders where we couldn't care for heranymoreand so we had to try and find her a homeand my nan was kind of the one whichwhich brought me off as I said at thestart when my mom was working so hardand was working really hard and and mystepdads dad got some got Parkinson'sand so we were trying to find ways tohelp him so I'm just trying to keepeverybody afloat because I was the onethat that kind of just brushes stuff offbecause I've ruined everything else offand Kevin Hart says he shoulder shrugstuff I just kind of brush it off Idon't really have much alders but I gotto a point where it kind of all got andit just all the time it was just I wasjust kind of I couldn't make head ortail of anything because I was I had somuch to transfigure out out andeverything hurt so much physically and Icouldn't I was trying to figure outbills and I was trying to do myassignments so I didn't failing it keptbehind I'd already been kept behind incollege and I definitely didn't wantthat feeling again so there was a pointwhere I kind of when I'd gone back homethere was aa good bridge him Bolton that's quitehigh and quite secluded I took myself toit and just kind of thinking about whatwhat the consequences would be here if Iwas just to kind of take a trip and lookat the bottom of it I don't know what Ikind of don't know what what stopped meI think it was just the fact that Icouldn'teverybody was suffering so much alreadythat I wasn't gonna make them sufferanymore anymoreyeah and that was I think that wasprobably like my well at least I thoughtthat was my rock bottom and then afterChristmas there was a whole host ofbills which I'd never which didn't evenaccount for just cuz my head wasspinning so I ended up about threethousand pounds into my two thousandpound overdraft and I couldn't didn'twant to ask anybody because everybodywas already suffering with their ownproblems at home so I just kind of Ithink that was probably my moment ofadversity now of anything else that Ikind of struggled with the most and Ithink I got through it I found a JimRohn video on YouTube and watch that andthat kind of made me feel a little bitbetter and then I read a couple of bookslike The Alchemist and thought actuallymy life doesn't have to kind of be thisway so for well the most immediateproblem that I can affect is my moneyproblem so I learned a couple of newskills that learn a little bit of onlinemarketing and look we found a way tosell those and made my broke even andthen my student loan came in so I had alittle bit of money and so I could buy acouple more presents for my better halfand I didn't have to worry so much thenabout the bills for my rent and stufflike that so that was kind of nice andfrom there I kind of thought wellthere's no real situation that saysthat's as bad as that and I've been kindof smiling ever since to be honest Ithink reflecting on everything that hasbeen with my friends my family etc itkind of that's why I think I'm theluckiest man I know cuzcome through it all and I still gotmajority of my family still got themajority of my friends and still got anamazing dog lovely girlfriend and I'vemanaged to get a really really nicecareer so yeah I love that I'm just veryglad firstly that you didn't make thewrong move that day at the bridgebecause I think the world and yourfamily and your friends and even myselfnow getting to know you more you wouldhave all missed out mate and I mean thatsincerely you also touched on a verygood thing there as well I think whenyou when you've been at rock bottom andI don't wish this on anyone who hasn'tbeen there but sometimes I feel that ifyou've been rock bottom and you come outof it then everything's a blessing likeyou said you're the luckiest man thatyou know in the world and I suppose Isee this from my mom I see from my nanwho have who have had similar adversityto yourself and I used to laugh becauseI used to relate them to an episode ofEastEnders I was like you've almost gotlike a soap opera kind of life like thatthe adversity that we've always gonethrough and just hearing obviouslyyourself oneit proves that everyone in the world isgoing through something we're all facingour own battles and stuff just to kindof take the gratitude element from itand move forward from it and having comeout of it so even if you moved one stepaway so you move one step away from thatbridge now everything is it's so muchbetter that quite if that kind of makessense I think I think you've got theright perspective now and I'd certainlyurge you because I'm sure you've got avery very good Network knowing theperson you are and the piss and anythingthat you've got that if ever you do feelthat things spiral out of control pleasedo always reach out I'm sure you've gotmany people close to you as well thatyou can rely on and one thing I realizedis when I used to struggleI used to enclose a lot of stuff andthat's even from like my missus at thetime or my mom or my brother and it wasonly when I started showingvulnerability and I think for a guyVaughn durability is strength and we wesaw often me we have this provider thatwe can't cry or we made her cry I cryall the time you know I'm not I'm notafraid to say that becauseby me expressing my emotions andspeaking about it it just helps me somuch in terms of face and face inwhatever I'm going through and basicallydealing with it so I'm proud of you mateand I can't believe a young you are toshow such intelligence you mentionedalso something else I just took a noteof which was about the managing moneyand how you didn't when your sisters tobe without you took a kind of abilityfor mismanaging your money and up untilprobably the age of 25 myself I I had nosense of responsibility so again likeyour emotional intelligence is fantasticso um was it awkward for you man I gotmy fingers crossed for you we're on theway up the buzzer has gone off and whatI'm gonna be doing now is putting youthrough the paces so we're gonna see howquickly you can think and how quick youcan answer as many questions as possiblelet's do it there is no right or wrongif you can't think just say pass andwe're gonna start the timer for 60seconds in three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisiblefly money or fame money Netflix orYouTube YouTube Van Damme or Bruce LeeVan Damme Coke or Pepsi pass would yourather know how you would die or whenyou were die pass summer or winter thewinter your favourite place in the wholewide world grasmere in the latest ratespeak all languages will be able tospeak to animals animals if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it beit's self doubt love that your favoritesong ever the fire read minds or predictthe future and put it in feature cats ordogs dog have you ever been in a fightthen you know this hundreds and did youalways win no favorite movie star AmberHeard pancakes or waffles pancakescomedy or horror comedy singing ordancing dancing okay and that's time butI'm curious I don't know why you passbut Coke or Pepsi mate I need to knowcuz I don't really care for eitheralright okayyou don't drink any of them I do I don'tcare okay okay well I kind of carry alittle bit just a personal thing I'm aPepsi fan anyway a Pepsiexpand so okay we're just pretend thatyou like Pepsi as our yeah okay perhapsthey love it okay brilliant so we'rekind of coming towards the end of thepodcaster so we've just got a couple ofmore questions that I really want tojust try and get from you so the nextone is about reflection that's awonderful thing and when we reflect wecan often think of ways to get to wherewe are quicker or do things earlier orperhaps move us towards that goal isthat little bit quicker but I guess thejourney also teaches us a lot as wellI'm a firm believer that everythinghappens for a reason so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone moment where you really struggledand suffered with adversity and youcould whisper something in your ear soif you use the example that youmentioned I standing at the bridge andknowing what you know now what would youwhisper to your 17 year old right inyourself however old you were at thattime I would whisper don't be afraidbecause pain and fear are your friendsif that's the way you see them okay Ilike that because it is how we seeeverything isn't ityeah pain is fuel for me now now Istopped my toll the other day and foundit really really funny because somethingthat pain is something that motivates meto be more now it's made me stronger soI'm gonna be strong then you are me youare it's that's kind of them I don'tknow if you follow David Goggins Imentioned him earlier a little bit hmmhe's somebody who I'd certainlyrecommend looking out for he's got acouple of interviews on impact theoryokay and that guy's is incrediblebecause he kind of uses the whole painand basically pushing your body to tohis limits he's just got a new book outactually I should be getting sponsor forthis by the way but he's got a new bookout called can't hit me and I listenedto it and honestly if I'm feeling lazyfor like an ounce of a second it makesme feel like shit so it kind of likelistening to you today I feel reallymotivated I feel inspired by yourstories the stuff that you've beenthrough it's made you the person thatyou are today and you're gonna help somany other people and it's by a book Ithink you've just got a brilliantperspective on it and that brings us toour last question so the last question Ialways like to ask my guess is if in 150this time and there was a book andsomebody come across it and it was aboutyou about Joshua well I wanna know is Ishare one or two things so I'm justadding a question in here first I wantto know what the title of that bookwould be and secondly I want to knowwhat the blurb would say okay well thetitle of my book would be can I swearyou can say whatever you are me thetitle of my book would be fuckingbecause one thing I've learned is thatyou never really know what is gonnahappen so fuck it whatever happensembrace it enjoy it whether it's painfulor pleasurable or whether whether iswhether it happens to you or somebodyelse enjoy it embrace it learn from itand use it to feel you to go further soyeah I'd say fuck it cuz that's kind ofwhat I say whenever anything happens Ilove it and the blue and the blurb wouldsay he enjoyed every day that he livedhis dog was his best friendno it would say that I enjoyed every daythat he lived and he was the mostgrateful man he knew and he never he hada lot of pain and suffering but he neverreally suffered yeah I'd say that's me Ilove that endearment I love it and to behonest you're probably one of the mostgrateful people I know as well so it'sbeen a privilege before I and I justwant people to connect with youhopefully that's okay with yourself yeahcool I think your story is just startinglike I said you're very younggot all the years ahead of you you'vegot you're gonna do amazing things and Igenuinely mean that whether it's inproperty or whatever it iswho knows you might be you might be inthe theaters might be the great showman- who knows but I think before we leaveif you could just let us know just justone place that people could reach out toyou maybe connect maybe have aconversation with you because I feellikethere's so much more in your story and Ithink you'll inspire so many people maybe going through adversity and they canlearn so much from me yeah my I'mactually in the stages of writing a bookbecause there's lots that I left out ofthis interview so there's lots that Ican share with people and I would loveit if as the same courtesy you extendedto me if I could extend to everybodythat's listening that if they are everstill freed and feel like they're atrock bottom and please contact me andI'm gonna give up my Instagram becauseI'm currently in the at the beginningstage of rebranding and this is the onething that which won't be rebranded it'sjust Josh underscore Asquith that's asqu i th all but the actual links andeverything in the show ops anyway justin case anyone didn't get that spellingas for the book mate if you've got atitle let me know if you haven't closedit to the time please let me knowbecause I'll make a pledge now I'll bethe first to purchase that I think it'dbe fun lastly thank you like I saidearlier there's nothing boring ormundane about your story it's it'sinspiring and you truly inspired me Ithink people like the rock and all thosepeople yeah it helps me when I go onInstagram in the morning but seeingsomebody who I know in real life and Ispent some time with and I've got a lotof time for just in the back of my mindnow I could see myself in the morningjust be like fuck it let's go to the gymself I love it mate I just want to thankyou one more time for taking time out ofyour dayno thank you please do reach out to Joshand as always thanks for listening andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 3 - The Art Of Connecting With Ourselves by Theodore TreveilTheodore Treveil also known as Theo, knows what it is like to hit rock bottom. He has had a life of so much adversity and hardship that rather than killing him, it has only made him so much stronger. Determined to find his voice and show the world he was more than his current circumstances he often lay there visualing."Visualise, visualise, visualise" - TheoFrom sleeping on the streets of Victoria Station to ridding himself of his drug addiction Theo has now taken a stand and truly connected with himself. In doing this his passion now is to touch as many lives as possible, with a 50,000 target next year. Titans Mastermind is his movement and is about becoming a Titan of your own life!Let me assure you, this is one guy whos story you want to follow, as it has only just begun..."Our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings influences our actions" - Theodore TreveilFollow it below:Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mohamed.abdulrahman.54540#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people yes that is correct myname is Aren and I am the host of theshowso today's interview was a fascinatinginterview it was I'd say certainly forme it was definitely a game-changer andthe reason I say that is because inhindsight there was so many moments whenI listened to it back where I kickedmyself I kicked myself for my poorpodcasting skills I kicked myselfbecause I never asked the right questionI kicked myself because I never acceptedsilence and I kind of rushed it becauseI was panicking about the recording andthe time and all of that stuff that youprobably don't think goes into a podcastNo one thing I will say is that I hopeyou find that in some way motivationalor inspiring because you do not have tobe perfect to start a podcast you do nothave to have all your ducks in a row soI kind of want you guys to take that onboard as well if there's something youtruly want to do just go out and do itgo ahead and do it pivot adjust and thengo forward again and that's what it'sall about but there's certainly times inthis interview and I'm definitely eagerto get him back for a second podcastmaybe in about six to twelve months timewhere we really gonna hone in on some ofhis answers because I think theemotional intelligence that he showedfor being such a young man wasincredible and I hope you could takeaway some of the insights and some ofthe lessons that he displays andhopefully you can follow him on hisjourney as well because he is absolutelyright in his own story right now he hasfound his voice and there's gonna be alot of good things coming from thisindividual I'm very confident of thatand hopefully I say hopefully as I'vecrossed my fingers right now which youcan't see my podcast goeswe'll improve as well so without furtherado let's get this podcast over the wayhi good morning Theo how we doing todayand fantastic today really excited to beon this podcast really excited to haveyou just for the listeners who arelistening me and Theo we exchanged a fewmessages via I think it was Facebookinitially and just hearing a summary ofhis story was I was quite amazed to behonest it was so interesting it wasalmost like a film created and then tofind out your age as well I think thelisteners are in for a treat so we'rejust quickly I just want to get yourfull name so it's Theodore travell isthat correct yes yes Theodore Wong okayfantastic so so that's the name you'reall gonna look out for so we're gonnaliterally start this for the listenersat home just to kind of get to know youa little bit so if you wouldn't mind ifyou could just please explain how youprogress through life and ended up whereyou are similar to kind of the story youtold me well it's been quite afascinating journey and it's a journeythat I have never anticipated it willtake me where I am today so it was onlyquite a few years ago when I came acrossnetwork marketing from a friend I'vealways been the passionate type and theenthusiastic type even when my life wascompletely the other way aroundI've always felt a sense of I want tohelp people I want to serve people Iwant to do more for people and this wasmy why and this driver was was what wasguiding me through a lot of challengesand obstacles in life and so what hashappened was this drive that I had thispassion that I had it took me from alife of crime a life of drug a life of alot of negativity and it brought me intopositivity but just when I thought myjourney was beautiful and it ended soperfectly this was when I was reallytested and this was when I was reallychallenged so my parents they were froma very religious background and they'refrom a very cultural background andpersonal development wasn't somethingthat they really entirely got orunderstood so I was going through thismental transformation there's spiritualtransformation and emotionaltransformation and they started the theystarted becoming more alien to me and Istarted to become moreinto them and this trip into bought mefrom network marketing into wanting tostart my own business coaching andserving people and as this progressed onone mindset just constantly justcontinue changing changing changingchanging and then came a point where Istarted to really question my identitythe person that my parents have broughtme up to believe I was the religion Iwas brought up in the name that I wasbrought up in I just challengedeverything because I just thought Icould not be a hundred and twentypercent myself as I am beingindoctrinated with other people'sbeliefs and volumes and rulesso first came okay I'm reallyparticularly believe in this religionand I don't really think it's a religionfor me to be following and that was onething that I've let go off and then camemy name and then came he just everybelief every rules that my parents haveever brought me up on I just questionedtheir one at a time and the ones that Ilike yes I okay you know there's acompromise I can make that but the onesthat I thought was absolutely no thiswas not going to serve me on my journeythis wasn't going to help me create areality that I want to create impactlives how I want to impact are not letgo of them and this was quite a shock tomy parents because you know if someoneraises you want to be a certain way andyou want entirely the opposite way it'sa pan interrupts it's an interruptionmark so they were just very shockedemotionally shocked and if just shockedeven it just even affected their healthto the point they had to go to hospitaland you know we raised our son this wayand now he's telling us he's entirely adifferent way and they couldn't reallyaccept it they couldn't really tolerateand soon enough I found myself outsideon the street homeless for three monthswith nothing but just faith nothing butbelief and nothing but vision that youknow I was going to overcome this I wasgoing to continue believing and continuehaving faith and continue going onforward no matter what anyone says nomatter what anyone does and no matterwhat anyone throws at me this is what Iam about this is my vision this is mypurpose Ireally believing it and I'm willing tomake any sacrifice to run with it andsee it till the end Wow just in thatshort little bit what you just saidthere there's so many nuggets ofinformation that I think I just want toquickly point out for the listeners ifyou don't mind firstly your emotionalintelligence could you just let everyoneknow how old you are23 23 okay so anyone listening to thisthis guy is 23 now if you're anythinglike me at the age of 23 I had nowherenear the level of emotional intelligencethat you you've just displayed there anda couple of things you've you've justpointed out there so religion obviouslyI'm not here to talk about religion it'snot what this podcast is about but mypersonal opinion is that obviouslypeople need something to believe in sowhether they choose religion or not onething you managed to find in that bitwhich I just kind of highlighted I madea note of list when you were homelessfor three months which we will elaborateon shortly if that's okay with yourselfis you had the belief in something andthat's something I believe is yourselfis that is that right would you wouldyou agree with definitely a hundredpercent and the reason why was becausewhen I was first homeless I was lookinginto some false or some energy and somecreator outside of me and now again likeyou said I'm not here to talk aboutreligion or any of that or cover any ofthat however the other part of when Iwas homeless so for the other two fromthe second month and the third month Istarted believing more in myself I'munderstanding that I had the resources Ihad the tools and I was forced withinmyself Wow Wow just just there as well Imean for anyone that follows selfdevelopment personal developmentresourcefulness I think Tony Robbinshe's probably the Guru of personaldevelopment that's something he speaksabout and I'll put my hand on my heartand be honest here I'm 32 now and onlyrecently have I understood the power ofthis sauce fulness which you'redemonstrating at such an early age isservedI'm excited me I'm actually exciting orwhat you're going to bring to the futureI think because you've got real-lifeexperiences as well that I'm sure manypeople are going through or may gothrough that hopefully they canobviously resonate with your story likeI said after free month of experience inhomelessness it was just the mostpowerful period of my life and why I saybecause I've been indevelopment for three years it was onlywithin just a short period of threemonths that I had to condense everythingreally put it into practicality and soat first when I was homeless it was Iwas just so self-destructive I startedmy old habit of smoking I had a veryquick mentality I had a very wise Godagainst me kind of mentality but thenlater on and it's crazy like it's crazylater on in the second third month Ijust started meditating more and thiswas when I was literally when I had noidea where I was going to sleep or wherewould wind up and I always winded upeither in hostels or strangest placesbut I just I just had no more fear I wasjust meditate and I was really connectedI was really like this is going to turnout as it's meant to turn out and Ibelieve everything happens for us andnot to us and now after free month Imanaged to find my own sharedaccommodation and from there always justgoing on to building my dream which I'mcurrently right now in Wowoh haha I'm actually getting goosebumpslistening to this is it's fascinatingjust emulation to the drugs so I've hadexperience of family members using drugsa lot of alcohol abuse especially couldyou elaborate a little bit on that wasthat a dark period or was it justrecreational it was a very dark periodbecause when I was taking drug it wasalso a period of my life or time where Ifelt suicidal okay I felt like I justwant to kill myself but I didn't havethe courage or the determination to gothrough with it so I thought what otherway can I you know slowly in my life andI slowly and my dream cannot slowly justend all these pain away and you knowit's very it was very II it's very easyfor me to judge myself and be like ohthat was a very bad action for me to doin but the reality is I knew at thattime when I was taking drug I was doingwhat I was doing to the best of myknowledge and so therefore I always sayyou do better when you know better andthat was what I knew at the time andthat's what I was using at the time torelieve my pain but I felt like it was avery important period of my life to Ineeded to experience that and to gothrough that in order to be where I amtoday life is all about balance andduality you know you don't knowif you don't know good if you don't knowbad so you don't know a terribleexperienceyou don't know a great experience unlessyou know a terrible experience so I'mgrateful I think you just touched onsomething fantastic there as long you dobetter when you know better and one ofthe traits that you've you've definitelyhighlighted in just this short amount oftime so far is a growth mindset and I'mnot sure how far your personaldevelopment goes but growth mindset wascertainly something for me that Isuppose it affected my ego initiallybecause we think we've got it allfigured out and you know having thatfixed mindset and you're demonstratinghere that you needed to know betterin such a short amount of time and youalso touched upon something how yourhabits was a congruent say for instancewith your vision but one thing I wouldpoint out and this is more for thelisteners as well is that just becauseyou do something I if you an extra sliceof cake or something for example itdoesn't necessarily make you a badperson that particular action I thinkthat's the problem with society we kindof beat ourselves down almostunnecessarily that's such a powerfulthing for you to say because I was onlysharing it on my social media friendsthe other day that look there's no suchthing as stupid peoplethere's only people that do stupidthings our actions should never defineus and this was a huge lesson that I hadto learn when I was homeless thatwhatever I'm doing right now andwhatever I'm experiencing right now itisn't me it shouldn't define me yes I amdoing this and I should just enjoy itwhile I'm doing it rather than feelguilty and beat myself up about itbut once I'm done let me beself-reflective let me say was thatreally a wise decision why was I reallydoing this what emotion what deep-rootedemotion is there into this and how can Iheal that and love that so I can moveall of my lives just give me a momentthere it's fantastic um I want to thisis more for myself my own curiosity herejust one day of living she would call ithomeless or on the streets or whereveryou were living if you could justexplain that to people because I thinkin society nowadays we kind of we see itwe feel bad for a few seconds but wedon't actually know the extent to whatit takes from a person if that makessense so if you could just pour uponthat a little bit please okay well oneparticular and this was a period thiswas a particular day whereI just felt like I hit rock like one andthat was where now when I went to thatnight I thought I had a place here tostay which I didn't and I only hadaround a pound or so on my debit cardliterally and my credit card I knew Iwasn't going to be able to book any roomand I know I'm going to be able to goanywhere so I thought okay where can Igo and it seems like Victoria Stationseems to be the spot for a lot ofhomeless people so I went to VictoriaStation and I was really tiredI was extremely exhausted bowels alsocold I was really cold so I couldn'tjust sleep anywhere because I needed tofind somewhere which I couldn't so I goon to Victoria Station I go in therewhere all the coaches are and I'm justpretending like I'm there sittingwaiting for a coach to arrive an hourhas went by two hours went by threehours went by and I thought okay I can'tdo this anymore so I found a big bannerand one of the places two big bannersand I put it together to hide myselfbecause there's a security guard therethat constantly checks around to see ifthere's any homeless people sleeping andthen she kicks them out so I found twobig banners and then I put them togetherto hide behind this corner and I wassleeping there I was cold but I couldn'tfeel my feet and it was really reallycold and this was a time to like can iare now sleeping on the floor I wasn'teven stealing you know anything I wasrock floor to myself is there any morerock bottom I can hit them this I haveno moneyI've asked all my friends if I couldstay over their place and nobody reallyhad you know has that opportunity to letme stay in a place and I'm here sleepingon the floor and this was a time where Iwas also working in peds Express so Ihad a jaw I was sleeping in VictoriaStation and I had a job at the same timeso the next day I had to go back to WestWestville Center to go to my job wearingthe same clothes sleeping in the sameclothes and doing everything in the sameclothes and my mentality was literallylike okay this is it I can do it is Idon't want to do this anymore I want toquit my job I just want to quiteverything I just want to quit my lifebut it was also a beautiful period oftime because and this is what I say guysvisualize visualize visualize this was aperiod of my time well sleepin on Victorstation I was sleeping on the floor Iwas called but I closed my eyes and Ijust visualized my future I just thoughtokay you know what maybe I may not beable to change my outside circumstancesand situations but I can most certainlychange out what I'm internallyprocessing him right now I do nottolerate any of this to internally be apart of me so I just closed my eyes Icould see myself standing on stagespeaking to people coaching clientsone-to-one be in a business doing whatit is that I'm passionate about and loveto do you know without any of theseobstacles becoming an obstacle and itwas so amazing because even at that timewhen the security god came and she foundand she was like get out she shouted atme I'm still okay with the house I cameto accept my reality knowing that thisone wasn't going to be my last andreality and I just got okay okay let mejust go along with this and let me justlook brighter for him yeah let me lookto the next day and then the next daycame I went to my friend and anopportunities just came networkmarketing came and a lot of things cameand my friend actually allowed me tostay over her place for a month so thisis the power of visualization WowI think I think you're a true exampleand this is why I really wanted to kindof get you on this podcast is that youliterally took control and you picked upthat pen and you started writing yourown story and this is kind of one of thethings that I always try and bring outof other people is that throughout lifewe kind of pigeon-holed into certainways for example do this because you'regood at it what you've kind of done isyou've sat back and you thought hold ona second Who am I who is theall andyou've picked up that pen and even we'reprobably a lot of people because I'lltell you somethingI mean I'm I can't handle any sort ofcold people that normally I'm constantlygot a hoodie on and I'm struggling so tohave that resilience and still have thevisualization like you said visualizevisualize visualize to believe that oneday you will achieve what you're doingand now I know looking at your story nowyou're there and that's fantastic so Idon't want to give too much away to thelisteners because I'd rather hear itfrom yourself but what you're whatyou've said there what you visualizedthere is kind of what you doing nowisn't it so if you could just give us aday in the life of the or now pleasewell I believe right now I wear on mylife it's ever-growing it'sever-evolving but it's goingexactly in the right direction it'smeant to go out so alive for me today isjust I'm currently running programs andcourses 21-day programs and coursesteaching people exactly the step to stepthat I used when I was homeless and whenI didn't have a place and even when Iwas going through my struggle and how Iovercame that mentally because I reallybelieve it's our internal wall thatcreates our external world and whateverwe are able to conceive within us we'reable to create outside of us so we onlyhave a lot of 21 day programs right nowthat I'm doing and I've just actuallystarted running a mastermind group onlyquite a few days ago called Titansmastermind creating leaders that areheart centered and that really want togo and travel and inspire people tobecome a more heart centered and tobecoming more authentic and genuine intheir work in their field of workwhatever that work may be and you knowdoing these podcasts being able to sharemy story and being able to be invited tospeak in on stage so I'm really reallygrateful and I never take thisopportunity for granted because I knowwithin me I have experienced a lot andI've learnt a lot and now I feel it's myresponsibility and duty to go out thereand to share with other people in orderfor them to unlock their potential andgift and create a reality that isbeautiful for them that is fantastic sofor anyone listening you've just heardtheir and obviously at the end of theshow we'll give you direct access toTheo but there's a there's programs outthere as masterminds but what I alwaystry and shy people away from is not justgoing on the internet and looking atsomeone who's paid a couple of thousandpounds for a Facebook ad and he'sdressed up in a nice smart shirt whatI'm trying to find throughout thispodcast as well myself he's authenticgenuine people like Theo here who'swho's actually been there who canactually tell you listen this is exactlywhat you need this is the blueprint so Iurge anyone who's in that position toreach out and can I be honest there andI've done that I've tried I've tried thewhole because when I first started thisit's very easy to get into the idea thatwe need to wear suit we need to sound acertain way we need to look a certainway we need to be a certain way in orderfor us to be successful and that's why Isay yeah my personal growthand your preneur journey really startedthis shit because the past two years itwas exactly the same way I used to lookat people in suits and I used to thinkokay let me wear soon let me cook youwhat they're saying let me do whatthey're doing and letting you go outthere and you're getting a client andthen I realized people really just buyinto hearts they don't buy like yesimage may play a contribution and makeplay a little factor but really andtruly people buy into hearts absolutelyso that's what I'm really about in mymission I'm not here to create 21stcentury business people I'm here tocreate 21st century heart centeredpeople I love that I love that messageand I appreciate your honesty there aswell and showing how you thought aboutit initially so I've got I've got nodoubt and I'm sure people listening tothis have no doubt that you will achieveall of this and create some amazingpeople well I say create I thinkeveryone's already got it in themselvesyou'll help them bring it out or supposeso from the moment you wake up in themorning are there other things or habitsthat people could say copy for exampleto kind of get that right mindset sowe've had guests previously who follow amiracle morning or we have certainpeople who anchor themselves to the gymor a long run meditation I mean I knowyou briefly touched on meditationearlier if you could just give a coupleof key things that you make sure thatyou get done in your day in order tokeep you moving forward before I sharethat can I share something absolutely soI'm gonna be sharing what I do in everysingle day regularly in my morninghowever as you listen to this really andtruly what I want is for you to findwhat suits you what really resonateswith you and what really connects withyou it's not I might suggest a lot ofthings like share I'm gonna be sharingright now but you find what suits andconnects with you because I've triedcooking in many other people's routineand you know on a superficial level Iwas starting to feel the difference buton a deeper level I still knew it wasn'treally connecting with me and it wasn'treally making a lasting transformationand ultimately that's what you should beseeking for isn't a temporarytransformation it's a lastingtransformation sustainability yeah sofor me I tried the morning routinemorning miracle routine and only a weekago I actually spot twoto go stop so what my morning routineright now really consists of is and it'sjust so simple but I actually reallyfeel the difference when I don't do itwhen I do do it which is I do one hourmeditation but these meditations areactually split into frees one meditationis for forgiveness and love so anyonethat I've been holding on to that I feellike I can't forgive just use that timeto forgive them and to let go of themand just send them as much love aspossible but also send a lot of planningand send forgiveness to the planet and Ifeel like as I do that because as I dothat I just release whatever needs to bereleased within me every single day is anew day every single day is a newchapter so for me it's an absolute thatI'm not taking whatever happenedyesterday or two years ago three yearsago even three months ago into mypresent life into my present moment soforgiveness and love is my first selfmeditation the other second set ofmeditation is visualization what do Iwant my day to be like feel like what doI want to accomplish today and I justvisualize it so vividly I don't mean ona superficial level like hey I'm gonnamake a thousand a thousand a thousandpounds I mean really coming from a placewhere I know I'm I am right now I knowI've got the resources and tools inorder to make this a real day and mylast set of meditation is reallygratitude what am i grateful for I lovea quote that says here as you go on topursuing what it is that you want topursue don't forget to be grateful forwhat you have today so my finalmeditation is just great gratitudegratitude not even just for the greatthings in life but also for the thingsthat I have heard for the things thatkind of taught me a lesson because likeI said I wouldn't know joy had I notknown pain so I just take it all in asone and I'm just so grateful for andthen after that when I finish all that Ido yoga I'm half an hour of yoga reallyconnect with my breathing because mygrieving is navigating me through lifebuddies navigate through life and mylast thing I do is just join in it sowriting down what the experience waslike in terms of my meditation my yogawhat I am what I'm gonna enjoy about orwhat I enjoyed about yesterday were I'mgonna enjoy about today and justanything journaling anything tostructure my thoughts to structure mymind because you know we have twelvethousand to seventhousand thoughts a day so if we're notable to structure a piece of paper we'regoing to be confused about what it isthat we want from our life we're goingto be confused in where it is what we'regoing and we're gonna make a veryindecisive decision Wow okay so just torecap on that then so we've got the ourmeditation which is looking atforgiveness in love they move up thevisualization on a deeper level and thengratitude followed by yoga journaling aswell okay fantastic and it's a greatpoint that you just said actually therebecause and I should have picked this upmyself was not to just copycat someoneelse because I've done it I've had allthese routines and I've sinned likesuccess for entrepreneurs that maybe IHoward in high esteem and I've been likeokay if you can do this I can do thisbut then you've got to look at your ownlife and it's got to be sustainable foryour own life so if you're if you'rewaking up at par 4 for example or the 4a.m. club but then you're half asleep by12 o'clock it's not really sustainable Ithink that's a great point that peopleshould find their own stuff but I wouldcertainly recommend I mean most of thestuff you mentioned there the greatleaders of the world all sort ofimplement in their day so thank you forsharing that I appreciate it so we'vetouched briefly on your past and I thinkadversity comes as one of the firstwords when we think about your strugglesand how you've got to where you've gotto in this particular time if we canjust sideline the homelessness just fora second and if you could just point outone other particular time where you facegreat adversity but you perseveredthrough it and what I want you to do isif you if you wouldn't mind just take afew seconds to really try and putyourself back in that moment just tokind of give the listeners some realtrue authentic feeling of what it waslike and then how you got through it andthen obviously we can move on and seewhat lessons you learn from that and youknow as you ask that question now I feelreally connected to my my emotionbecause the reason being is I want toshare a quote with you that I cameacross which is so powerful until thisday I live by this quote it's aphilosophy it's a way of life for mewhich is I am not who I think I am I amnot who we think I am who I think youthink I am and so for me it's we we liveour whole life through other people'slenses other people's perceptionyou know it's like really how much ofwho we are is it really who we are andso for me the greatest adversity I guessI faced was when I was in that period oftime where I just thought okay you knowI can quit all this and this was when Iwas at my friend's place you know shewas allowing me to live with her for amonth and then now I had to go out thereand I had to find my own place and Ijust fought can't do this I really can'tdo this what on earth was I thinkingyou know really coming on my truth I'mreally living in my truth I'm still akid I still won't know what the hell I'mdoing I'm still young and I felt at thatperiod of time I just felt like I couldjump off a train track and I felt like Icouldn't care less that was when I wasunder I was on the ground and I thoughtlet me just jump off there as you canclearly see the pattern when I washomeless there was a lot of times I feltsuicidal a lot it wasn't just once itwas quite intense quite a time so thatwas my greatest adversity it was reallyI knew what I wanted to do I knew whereI was going with this but then my egojust started coming out of nowhere andstarted challenging that and this iswhat I'm going to tell you when you havethe courage and the determination andthe faith to go out there and to pursuewhat it is that you believe in it's noteven what other people are telling youthat is the greatest challenge is whatyou're telling yourself you know thatdull part of you that that self and Ican't do it I'm not good enough andreally intuitive what you need areShort's office where did this come fromit didn't come from you it must havecome from somewhere else because reallyand truly we are light we are love weare all that is good you know we are allthat is courage and faith and otherwisehumanity wouldn't be out where it istoday so anytime that I was experiencingthat I just asked myself is this reallymy voice or is this just the voices ofpeople outside of me or the naysayersand so there's a great quote that EricThomas once says if the enemy withincan't attack the enemy outside could doyou know how so that was my greatestadversity it was my own soft or my ownown own disbelief but I overcame that Iloved that is this really my voice and Ithink so often all our limiting beliefsthroughout life is mainly is peopleteachers it could be your parents itcould be your friends your family yourpeers and I'm guilty of it myself to behonest I think I am where I am now in amuch better place but the last seveneight years with just me followingaround what other people wanted from meI suppose and trying to trying to pleaseother people I suppose and that's kindof the world we live in especially withsocial media being so so prevalent ineveryone's daily life that you're almosttrying to keep up with the Jonesesyou're almost trying to have a highlightreel as opposed to writing your ownstory if that makes sense and you knowwhat the hard part about that all is iswe can try to lie to ourselves and thisis a great insight that was given to melet's just say for example right nowfear is bigger than your dream let'sjust say that let's just say you knowyou you know it is that you want to dobut you're just too scared to do it soyou'll just give away you will just giveit away and you'll be like no I'm notgonna pursue this I'd rather stick to mycomfortable life a year from now you maynot experience the difference two yearsfrom now you may not experience thedifference three years maybe not butultimately there will come a time wherethat voice what if comes and I reallybelieve resistance then turns intophysical illness so that means that youhave a lot of people that are successfulthat have accomplished so much in lifeyet they're sick they're spirituallysick they're mentally sick they'reemotional in you're sick they're notfulfilled they're not content they knowthe art they know the mechanic tosuccess but they don't know the art offulfillment they're not experienced inthat so I always say like you know whatyou can risk ityou can try and live all comfortable asyou want but how long is it really gonnalast and how deep is it really and Ibelieve a lot of our successes and a lotof the happiness that comes from oursuccesses is very superficialfor me what I'm interested in is reallycreating a lasting fulfillment andhappiness in my life that comes fromwithin my soul not just for meaccomplish and achieving mechanicsuccess based things I love the answerbecause I had a debate with somebodyabout this previously so I'm not gonnaspeak about myself too much here but oneof the things my mom who's like my bestfriend always taught me was always aboutgiving and like the importance of beinggrateful and just helping as many peopleas possible and I remember as a childwhilst a child was about 15 I got myjob and I was working as a salesassistant and I had something like 42pounds or something I think it was andstraightaway I went home and this waswithout any sort of guidance or anythingI and not many people know this and Isponsored a child straightaway and I andI donated the about four pounds to likeWaterAid and I think it was cancer Ididn't have much we come from humblebeginnings and throughout my life I'vealways whatever I've had I've tried togive as much as I possibly can and thereason I say this is because youmentioned something there about thesuperficial part and you mentioned aboutfulfillment because I believe there'stwo different types of people on a macrolevel and what I believe is you havepeople who genuinely just have a desireto help people and then you have peoplewho achieve all this amazing successfeel somewhat unfulfilled feel unhappyand then what they do is in return startdoing charities getting a sense offulfillment now I'm not here to sayone's right and one's wrong and one'sbetter than the other because I believeanyone who helps anyone in any way isdoing a great service but I can trulysee within you for somebody who's beenat the bottom who's still there with youknow trying to be positive a positivebeacon to the world you've got thatfirst trait you're the person who'salways wanted to help you're not theperson who's I when I when I make amillion pounds and I've got the car inthe house then maybe I'll take a bit oftime at and it's like my friend saysthough my personal development is ourpersonal development the work that Ileave today will be left to futuregenerations yeah so that's why it's evenmore important that you know at the endof the day yes enjoy life yes you knowmake the most of it but make sure thatif you're going to leave this planetneither we've leave it in a great wayleave it in a way that's so positivethat future generations where they cometo come alive and grow up here they canpick it up from somewhere positive I'msure the listeners I get in plenty ofnuggets see I'd even recommend pause inthis just to kind of take in some of thesome of the stuff you say and there'ssome fantastic quotes there as well byThomas somebody who I have a lot ofadmiration for as well deal we're gonnawe're gonna just switch gears a littlebit here I wanna I want to ask you andagain I mean I don't really need to saythis to you because you're very wellthought out but if you could just tellme what your biggest fear is not notliving up to my full potential and giftlet me share a story with you actuallyand this is what really scares me when Iwas born I was born and this was 1995and I was a civil war going on and youknow there were a lot of soldiers firinga.k rifles and ask where you were bornsorry to Tamale so there were they werefiring aka rifles and there was onebullet could have potentially really hitme in the head and I could have died andas a child so I really I don't take mylife for grantedI believe every single day is a miracleand my biggest fear is not living up tothat miracle and that opportunity andchance that has been given to me Wowsee that's a remarkable story and it'ssomething that I even now I take I'm sograteful of my circumstances when I wasborn and I'm sure everyone listening tothis as well never came from such a sucha difficult start it was almost like theodds were against you from the start butyou kept persevering so I'm confidentthat you will destroy that fear shall wesay and you will live up to yourpotential and if I can help in any wayor if anyone listening to this can helpin any way then certainly reach out toTheo thank you for that I appreciate itwe've kind of spoken obviously aboutyour wire your inspiration yourmotivation and I suppose I don't want tokind of repeat the same question againbut do you have days where you justdon't feel like doing anything and Iwant you to be completely honest herebecause yes we will ever why we all wantto change our parents lives our wiveslives our partners lives we have a goalto help serve people let them writetheir own story let them find theirvoice and all of that stuff but in thosemoments where you're not feeling quiteup to it because I know it happens to meand I'm pretty confident it happens to99% of the people out there otherwisethey're lying so when it does happen toyou what keeps you going on that day Iwould say it would be alive for me tosay no I have experience and this is noquestion I was just asked me today wasalso asked to me last night and I wouldsay yes I have a lot of days where Idon't want to wake up out of bed and Idon't want to do anything and I justwant to quit and I just want to give upand I just want to say you know what letme justaround and do absolutely nothing becauseit's challenging it's like first yourpersonal growth is the most remarkablethe most exciting the most fun thing butat the same time is the most challengingthing because what it really brings outis triggers what it really brings out isa lot of part of you that you've beenneglecting and suppressing so for medays there where I actually start toexperience these triggers which was likethree days ago where I was supposed togo to this event but I just felt like Idon't want to go to it I don't want towake up our bed I just want to stay inbed I just wanted to be tucked under myduvet and I just want to sleep and whatreally you know I don't push thatfeeling and I don't resist that feelingI embrace it because like I said everyemotion that is a deep-rooted reason towhy we're feeling what we're feelingthere is a reason behind every feelingso the way I motivate myself is I try toget to the 80 grit T of why I'm feelingthat way what is this really about itisn't about the fact that it's just coldand I just don't want to go out there'sa real deep root very concerning reasonwhy and I get into that why and Iexplore every possibility I question inevery way so that therefore is got noway of taking over me because you knowour thought creates our feeling and ourfeeling influences our action so I justask as many questions about this feelingas possible I try to really cover itfrom all aspect of like you know acylinder and soon enough is that oh okaythat's why that's why I'm feeling thisway and then when I accept and Iacknowledge it I just think to myselfyou know what this is my thought this ismy feeling but it doesn't have to be andsomething that I act upon it you know Iget to choose how I want to respond tothis so once I can really get into whyI'm feeling the way I'm feeling and thenI choose to respond and the way I chooseto respond is I just love it Iacknowledge is that and I say to myselfyou know what I can rather act on thisbut I know I'm gonna regret it later onI could just choose what feels hardright now but ultimately later on I'mgonna be very thankful and grateful forit so that's how I motivate myself Idissect and you're very very self awarein order to be able to kind of separatethose things the reason I asked that aswell is becausewhen I went on my entrepreneurialjourney when I used to have those days Iused to absolutely beat myself up and Iused to be like I'm a bad husband I'm abad businessman I used to just basicallylabel myself based on my mood that dayand then what one of the quotes I thinksuch a from a song and it says it's okaynot to be okay and I love that becauseyou can use that across all walks oflife but when I say that then I'd thenadopt a similar approach to yourselfokay so kay not to be okay today andmaybe I don't feel like working out forexample or going to a conference eventbut what I will do is understand whythat is happening and you hit the nailon the head there because really trulyunderstanding the deeper reason behindwhy you do what you do if you can masterthat then you can almost I suppose nexttime it comes handle it much betterwould you agree with that it is it isbut this is the biggest problem thebiggest problem is people are very muchfocused on outside in rather than insideout because you know we can't resistinstant gratification so we can't resistinstant result but what people need toreally understand is that it's when youwork from within you take ten stepforward rather than just taking one stepforward so yeah it really really is Ithink it's just you have to reallyunderstand why you're not feelingmotivated when you're not me feelingmotivate don't try to suppress and I'mforce yourself to do something that youdon't want to do if you don't feel likeyou're going for a run today don't gofor a run today then you know but thenpeople is that you've gotta push you'vegotta push you've gotta push there'swhat happens when you push the sameproblem repeatedly shows up in your lifeagain and again and again and today itmay be very subtle but tomorrow's gonnabe very big and very overwhelming andyou'll find it even harder to overcomeit okay guys you've heard the buzzer gooff and that means it's the most funpart of the show so what I'm gonna bedoing is putting Theo through his pacesand I'm gonna set the timer for 60seconds and I'm gonna be asking him asmany questions as possibleTheo you've got no time to think I wantyour first answer okay okay start inthree two oneokay Theo the ability to fly or beinvisible fly money or fame fameNetflix our YouTubeclicks calling or texting calling Cokeor Pepsi coke would you rather know howyou would die or when you were dying howI would die Christmas or birthdaysChristmas tea or coffee tea summer orwinter summer your favorite place in thewhole wide worldOh Brazil Brazil Brazil Brazil would youknow how to speak all the languages inthe world will be able to speak toanimals and animals if you could abolishone thing in the world what would it begreed Facebook or LinkedIn Facebook readminds or predict the future read mindscats or dogs cats have you ever been ina fightyes did you win no last question yourfavorite movie star Hugh named fromWolverine Hugh Jackman yeah Hugh Jackmanokay fantastic brilliant okay that'stime just that was very interesting Ijust thought I'd just mix it up a littlebit the Hugh Jackman thing I'm not sureif you've sinned he's recent from thegreatest showmen um I wonder what sure Ihaven't seen about how the great thingsabout yeah well it's the musical soinitially I was kind of like under fencewith it I don't know about you but I'mquite an emotional guy saying say Joeand I remember watching that and I waswatching it with the wife and likethere's quite a few scenes that werereally kind of touching and I thinkespecially with your story as wellbecause this without giving too muchaway it's a guy with a dream he's gothis partner supporting him and he's justgoing through all these obstacles andadversities to kind of get to where hewants to get to you know the songs arepowerful but it's a brilliant movie andespecially if you're a fan of him somake sure you check that one out buddydefinitely thank you I only think thefriends between him and me is how I needto find my partner which I'm sure youall sure they'll come running in okay sowe've got two more questions left thenext question is about reflectionobviously hindsight's a wonderful thingand upon reflection we can always thinkof ways to get to where we are currentlyquicker do the things we're currentlydoing earlier or perhaps just movetowards that goals that bigbut I guess the journey also teaches usa lot as well and sometimes I supposeyou could say everything happens for areason so what I want to know is if youcould go back in time to one particularmoment where you really struggled andsuffered with adversity and just whispersomething in your ear knowing what youknow now what would that be it was whenI came back from Slovenia and to go tomy parents house and to finally reallylay out the balls for them so to tellthem okay this is who I am and this iswho I've become and this is my desiresand these are my visions and you know itdoesn't really resonate and connect withyou so what I would have told myselfwhen I was when I made that decision wasthat rather than doing it in a verydefensive way do it in a very loving waybecause a very beautiful quote I reallyenjoy unlike is that love and honestycan penetrate through anything in lifeparticularly when it comes to those hardconversations that you were having withyour family or your friends if you do sowith hate intent or doubt or anger orfrustration or irritation or even asense of fire within you you know it'llnever turn out exactly the way it canpossibly turn out but if you do it froma place of love and honesty no matterhow how great the mistake or how greator how hard the conversation is if youdo it from a place of like I'm justgonna do this in a very loving way andI'm gonna do this in a very honest wayI'm sure things would have turned out abit differently so that's what I willthat's what I would have told myself isas you're having that conversation it'sokay to speaking your truth continuedoing that but change the intent a bitdo it from a place of love and not froma place of doubt anger frustration orirritation love and honesty canpenetrate through anything in lifeokay so sadly we're at the last questionnow if if we fast forward and we move up150 years in time and sadly sciencefails to save us or if there wassomebody who wrote a book about theodoretravel and it's sitting there and thensomebody else walks over and picks upthat bookand realizes there's too many pages toread here do I really want to read thisso instead they turn it over and theylook at the blurb in the back what doesthat blurb tell him so if there was abook what would what it will tell themis who was I really that's what he willtell them the most enjoyable andbeautiful part about the life I'm livingright nowis every single day I'm a differentperson and it's not to say oh the personI am today is you know fake andsomewhere tomorrow person's gonna bereal but every single day I get theopportunity to unravel a part of methat's always being there but it's justbeing shy it's being scared away alwaysbeen frightened away so who was Theodorebecause like I said I changed my name myname used to be Mohammad and today myname is Theodore and I can change thattomorrow so it's just who was I reallyWho am I reallyand I think the person that picks upthat book and see that I wanted toexcite as they're reading that I wantthem to challenge themselves and askthemselves so if this person you knowwas able to change his name and is ableevery single day he's evolving whatabout me Who am I and that is the mostpowerful question because once you canhave that question which I believe it'san ongoing journeyyou're not gonna fully a hundred percenthack it you know you want to be overfifty percent at least two beautiful itreally is a beautiful beautiful thing tounderstand who you really are and juston the sidelines so Who am I I reallybelieve the way to summarize Who I am isjust divine I love that I love that I'msure they'll pick up the book and readall of it if you said that absolutelyfantastic my friend okay so for anyonelistening that now I'm sure you canagree that was an unbelievable story andone that is still being written and Ithink they all hit the nail on the headthere where he explained that it's anongoing journey and that's the same forall of us even myself even as I gothrough the process of trying to becomea podcaster I'm still learning and evenmy self development in other aspects butthey always certainly demonstratedamazing traits and his story iscertainly one that I urge all of you toreach out and speak to him about so whatI'm gonna do is I'm gonna give Thiel achance now to basically let us know theone best place where you can find himthank you so muchby the way this has been such aprivilege and what you're doing isabsolutely incredible thank you so muchthank youso like I said right now I'm actuallyworking an exciting exciting excitingnew project which is called the Titansmastermind and my vision and passion forquite a while has always been to createa community where we can all supportempower inspire each other withauthenticity integrity love and honestyand just just about anything that ispositive and heart centered so I'vequite recently started this few days agoand already right now I've got six orseven members but by next Jim and that'swhy I don't plan on doing this alone Iplan on touching as many lives aspossible so that therefore they cancreate a ripple effect by next year Iwonder I want that to reach 50 K so 50 Kmembers were all supporting each other'sbusiness were all supporting each otherin personal life professional life soit's cool Titans among us Titansmastermind and it's really about helpingyou become the Titan of your life owningyour life and really running your lifeas you want it to join in you know justand follow me on Facebook and drop me amessage and I will invite you into thegroup yeah it's a very safe place as avery comfortable place it's not justit's not all about just money motivationit has so much more to do with that soany support you need any assistance youneed whether it is business whether it'syour life all there iswhatever struggle you're going throughcome and come along and join it becausethis is the one thing that I wish I hadthree years ago when I was in thebeginning of my personal growth journeyyou know being able to be in anenvironment where I wasn't just kind ofbeing superficially honest I was beingreally honest some people were takingthat in that would they were absorbingit in there with digesting in and theyjust had so much excitement into helpingme so I wish I had that and so today Ihad the opportunity to create that sowhy not so if you are and whateverwherever you are in your journey whetheryou feel like you're doing great and youdon't be there whether you're in themiddle whether you're in the beginning Ibelieve we all need support so comealong join in let's have fun and let'screate 2019 to become an awesome yearthey are is that free to access foranyone in the public yeah it's a freeattack so yeah so it's a closed groupthat's why I message me forso I can invite what number is free yeahwhat I will do is I'll put all the oddsdetails in the show notes as well so youcan direct message him personally I justwant to say thank you to Thiel fortaking time out of his day today andsharing his fantastic story I'm surewe're all gonna hear and see his name alot more I mean this guy is like wisebeyond his years he's he's so young he'sdoing incredible things so I know mynext job after this call is to get onthat Facebook group as well so Theo ifyou wouldn't mind adding me in as wellplease definitely I'd appreciate thatbuddy and for everyone else at homethanks for listening thank you so muchand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 2 - The Wake Up Call by Jin AtwalJins life screams adversity. The loss of his uncle, father and sister within such a short space of time caused his life to spiral out of control. The word death links closely to Jin's life as does the word alcohol abuse. A stigma perhaps in the punjabi, asian community Jin refused to let this be his story. he wanted more.Determined to succeed and not let his circumstances dictate his future he woke up and took control of his life and started writing his own story. Now in the process of writing his own book, “The Wake up call” Jin is now looking to inspire others and help them cope with the grief he has suffered.Alongside this he has a mission to help children and ensure they struggle with less hardship in their lives!If you think that’s not enough his also a successful property investor with many more talents.."When you lose somebody, it's always there. It never goes away." - Jin AtwalThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/manjinder.atwalInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jin120280/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcript[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people yes that is correct myname is Aren and I am the host of theshow so I'm extremely excited todaybecause my guest is somebody who's notonly got an incredible story that isriddled with ups and downs and trialsand tribulations but he's also someone Iconsider a friend alongside that he'salso a loving father to two beautifulgirls he's a loving husband and he's avery successful property investor so Ithink it's more important we speak tohim rather than listening to myselfbecause some of the stuff he's gonna sayis really gonna blow your mind sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way good morning Jin sohow are you doing today good thank youhow about yourselfnot too bad thank you just a little bitof a cold which hopefully doesn't affectthe podcast too much so I just want tostart firstly by saying thank you fortaking time out of your day to shareyour story I'm very confident it's goingto obviously inspire other peopleknowing who you are as a person so Ithink it's important for the listenersto basically get to know youso if you could just please explain howyou've progressed through life and endedup where you are currently okay sowithout sounding like the okie DonGoonies indeed though I'll give you abit of a summary so a bit about meso my first memories of a child isprobably my older sister he was aboutthree years older than me and she's tokind of always be up to mischief and Iwas well I was a little sidekick I'lltell you one of those stories so one ofthe times she dared me to throw a stickat a wasp's nest me crazily is to doeverything she told me to do seems likea good idea why notyeah so I did that what spirit stick Iwas nest and had a swarm of waspschasing me and the garden didn't endwell for me educate imagine but yeah Iyou know I just follow around everywhereand I was always you know really proudof her you know she's got a biginspiration to megrowing up and then caught us tosummarize the kind of years after that Icould prolly summarize the kind ofexperience a lot of grief at the dealwe've my dad he was an alcoholic seen alot of violence and experiences ofloneliness as a child so kind of goinginto the grief part the firstexperienced grief when I was around 10years old so my dad's younger brother myuncle I used to live with us for a whileand so I was very close to him and kindof be wiseass or even mourning a seconddad really and around Christmas Eve wason Christmas Eve he went out for a worksparty we have a few of his friends andthere's all over the local quite drunkand the drive was over the limit and onthe way home and started getting chasedby police officers and they tied thedriver decided to try to get away and heended up smashing the car into a brickwallmy uncle was at the back in the middleseats about a seatbelt on so probablythe worst place you could beand a head-on crash I need to basicallyjust went straight right straight to thefront and died on scene so he was allholy person in the car to dieand it was just clearly in the wrongplace in the car really sorry to truckhow old is you at this time yes I wasabout 10 years old at the time and yeahit's kind of a difficult time for me Ithink as as people or any heart we findit hard to deal with grief and I thinkthat's especially within the Indiancommunity so I think nobody ever spoketo me about it and it was kind of isthere happening in the background and Icould see the pain in my dad and myfamily and stuff like but nobody evercame andhow we felt as children and I saw and Ithink I ever dealt with it properlyuntil happy until like recently reallywhere I kind of started to think aboutit bit more so that was kind of thebeginning of you know make me experiencehim grief from what grief was like andthen from there I think my dad healready kind of had a Greek problem atthe time kind of just went off the railsso he just didn't had to handle it andwell his wife and he would just turninto drink and weave that he started tobecome quite violent and we experienceda lot of violence in the household on akind of daily weekly basis basically soour store are still quite young then andI felt it is my role to protect myfamilyso I used to try to get my sistersupstairs and out the way the venisonviolence is coming and then I'd comeback downstairs myself and then tried tostop my dad but you know which I coulddo being so young and that kind ofstarted affecting me in a you know quotenegative way it just made me feelworthless I felt like I wasn't a man Iwas like I wasn't to be able to myfamily and I was really hard on myselfso kind of that continued into myteenage years basically and as I gotolder I got bigger of still was tallreally afraid of my dad kind of embeddedinto me at that saw him you know if hejust raised his voice I would get reallynervous and scared and that make me feltfelt like even worse as a person andanother violence continued and you knowand I just felt like I couldn't doanything so for me I started aroundabout 15 years old I turned to boxingokay you need to boxing helped me inmany many ways it just taught me controlthat aggression that was inside of meand you know that anger so yeah going tohelp me in a lot of ways but alsostarted getting the reputation at schoolas the Hardeman and you know every timein school say Argentina Sortino sausageand I end up gaining points at school II thought I was always quite lonelyprimary school didn't have any manyfriends didn't have any you know just towalk around myself I didn't have a funnytime we have a single friend until about10 years old and then when I got asecondary school you know started makinga few friends but not many but then healways always for the wrong reasons Ikind of I got known as tough guy yougain two points or then I starteddrinking myself which I always I used tohate alcoholI've seen is what I call my dad problemsof course I lost my uncle for alcoholalcohol related but I think there's onetime I just I just I drinking with somefriends they started a lot more earlythan me and I just II I didn't reallyhaven't I couldn't really pick in thecrowd and they stole do their own thingand went out with one time's it come onnow every drink with Jean and I end updrinking with him I was talking mostoften and I kind of got that reputationand as you know he's a good laugh whenhe has a drink and he's he's you know hegets it he's a good good good ofpointing so if any trouble you're saltyand that's not the person I wanted to beinside well that's the person I becameand that continued really for many yearsand then from there I kind of I went towhen I finished school into Universityand I kept that persona you know Jeanwas the default crazy fun guy that youcould have a good laugh we've ended up afew drinks and he's you know they weretough not and you know inside I alwaysfelt that that's not me I'm just I'mjust no other person and that's theperson that people like they don't likeif I really thought he was myself peoplewouldn't like that I wouldn't be that Iwouldn't you know I wouldn't be that oneperson that everybody enjoys or becamesomebody else basically that's veryinteresting point I think you just madethere your dad and the violence in thehouse and I supposed you somehowindirectly almost became that kind ofperson ie the Hardman for example yeahbut I think it takes a mazing awarenesswhich you've just mentioned a couple ofseconds ago that you quickly realizethat okay although I'm getting plauditsand people are kind of now coming to meand the finding my company great forexample but this isn't the kind ofperson I want to be known as and I thinkthat takes a lot of awareness becausepeople will relate to this we sometimespigeonhole ourselves into situations orgroups just because we fit in by being aparticular person but what I always wantto try and do is tell people don't tryand fit into a crowd by being somebodyyou're notI just wanted to point that out just forthe listeners because I think it'simportant that you were able torecognize that hold on a minute thisisn't Janette well this is an episode orshould we call it a chapter of your lifebut this isn't the person that you areit's certainly not the person that Iknow today yeah I think yeah if I didrealize but I didn't I didn't I didn'ttake action to change I was very quicklyto be honest I took me a long long timeso now after finishing University I'llstop and I was not that reputation I wasstill that kind of person and then Istarted my job and you know I did I'dcome a first job working for a bigenergy company in there I was stolen ahappy you know started off doing a job Ididn't really want to do just to get myfoot in the door a degree in BusinessStudies what I did didn't really seem tohelp me and get there was the kind ofincome that I wanted so I started offstapling bills for a big energy companyyou know I haven't been to universityand don't open house you know I wasthere stifling bills you know five daysa week and I kind of annoyed me and Igot my head down and I know rightjin-hee you can't do this you need toyou need to you know work your way up inthe companies so I got my head down andI moved from that position all the wayup until senior position within thecompany in ten years looking at thebusiness strategy so my rock my rolltowards the end of my career empower waslooking at the business strategy and howwe can use smart metering it's moredated to launch new product into themarket so it's a good it's a good job ornot you know I worked my way up fromstepping bills to that it was a massiveachievement but even through then Iwasn't happy I was like you know I'mstill not me I don't know who I am Idon't know he was you know I know I'mnot the vision of what I want to bemyself I don't know who the vision Iwant to be of myself it should be what Ishould look like I always had a dream ofgetting into property on it so because Idid is I do remember Matthew told meyounger we didn't really make much moneyon it because we didn't really know whatwe were doing it we don't got all thespaceproperties we need you know we turn theminto amazing homes but didn't reallythink about in terms of the cash flowand and how much would make from theproperty so yeah he's always in the backof mind because like not having a hardto feel home as a young as a child youknow I never felt like my home was homealways had this vision that I would oneday create amazing homes for people tolive in so he's always my vision andalways something I said to my wife and Iwhen I got married and said does it onagain to property or Nicholas say allthe time she probably got better put mehere here with me saying it to be honestand then the other thing going to sayI'm one day I'm going to go to a thirdworld country and I'm gonna build a welland I'm gonna build a school forchildren I'm gonna do so I'm gonna dothatdreams and I was doing nothing thatwould ever get me there my dream wedidn't have a fighting chance everrecording reality because I wasn't doinganything to get there so just I'm justtalking about them and then I kept it soby doing that as time goes by and youstart talking about these dreams andthey're not happening you lose the dreamstart fading and you start losing faithand you you just falling into a routineof work and doing things that you don'twant to do and life's passing you by andyou know you kind of start losing a lotof life and you dreams fade you startfading as a person so I kind of alwayssaid one day when I get married underI'll start doing all this I'll get mydad wouldn't it from a company one dayand I'll start using that money to doall this stuff and you know any focus onsomething I'd say thank you folks it'llbe a comedy well is yeah I think that istrue because I focused on becomingredundant I boxed in the wrong thingsmy folks I made redundant and I got maderedundant which is an unusual thing foranyone to kind of focus on his foes yeahand he's focused on that because of alump sum of money I put that lump sum ofmoney out then I couldn't start doingwhat I wanted to do okayI don't like us but like I speaking toone of my friends when I was a I hadn'tseen him for about twenty years and andhe said are we so you brought BMW in theend I said yeah and he goes I go why whydo you say thatI used to always say I'm gonna BMW and Ikind of laughed three months ago I wishI said I was gonna buy a Lamborghiniyeah so I think being made redundantkind of was just the start of my newlife really kind of all kind of mr. partbe up more logically just as a FinnishUniversityI just finished and I got news that mydad had fallen over and bumped his headaround by the same time as my sisterjust got married she got off on ahoneymoon on a honeymoon and then andthen we got a call sign for the hospitalsaying he'd you know he died in hospitalhe formed his head and we when I've beenin hospital and when I saw him there Iwas not really angry I am and I saw himyou know probably wanted to give him ahawker today you know because he justyou know he didn't look he had a big alot of bruising on his face I know thatbut those are part of me is like whatare you doing to yourself or what youknow take control of your locals andnothing and that came out I just said tohim like you know I'm ashamed of you youknow you need to you need to sortyourself out and then I just turned upturned away and walked at the hospitaland that turned out to be the last wordsI ever said to my dad we got a call thatnoise saying that a fellow in hospitalagain and it is in a coma basically Heyand this basically just miss missed meup totally for years you know not notjust short-term he just played on mymind and I started drinking a lot moreand every time I drank a stick like cryofriends and say hey look you know thisis more last words I said to my dad thiswas said in the law you know it's notyour fault you know I just I justwouldn't go awayand it wouldn't go away I like I saidwaiting to come into my work wentthrough a company and just another doingall this dope never it always be in theback of our mind and then being maderedundant I kind of that looks like thatwas start to my new life and I got maderedundant in January 2017 so I'm nottalking long ago but at that point Ikind of wouldkind of introduced to the property worldwell you know property cause but wasn'tthe property broader so I got introducedbut when you got into property coursesyou started you got you you're basicallygoing to room full of people that's theyhaven't lost faith you know this dogdreaming and still turn out action thatdreamI mean you surround yourself with thosepeople you start believing again y'allstart believing again and that changedme totally I said I believe in my dreamsagain but it wasn't just that they staytold me to read books right and okaywhat books is it oh god we should readRich Dad Poor Dad start yourself off soI did that okay this is good I enjoyedreading that book I'm from then I justthought I'd read and self developmentbooks all the timeand I've never done anything like thatin my life and this won't help youunderstand me he was why I felt why Idid you know I thought I began torealize there's a book out there forevery single thing in your life so tohelp you and things and so I was likereading and reading a lot of books andthey've had a massive impact me it's gota strange thing every time I pick up abook and read itI somehow apply that into my life and itmakes a massive difference so and howthe first book was like Rich Dad PoorDad showed me the property but then Iread stuff like the five-second rulewe talked No yeah I said a massiveimpact on my book and what I'm alive forearly the slight edge was an excellenttaught me about you know I taught methat I've keep saying that I'm gonnahave this much I'm gonna go and build awell I'm gonna go and do something thatbecause it's not like that that thingsnot happen like that you you know startoff by doing a little bit at each timeand building yourself up there I thinkwhat you just said there is a very goodpoint I think this is where a lot ofpeople they probably get the wrongmessage because a lot of people read thesecret or they hear about the secret andthe thing just wishful thinking alone Iwish I could win the lottery for exampleI wish I get a Lamborghini for exampleand just by solely wishing that theirdreams come true but I think youobviously explaining now you've realizedthat that it takes a little bit morethan that it takes that whole mindsetthe whole self-love the self-worth andstuff which you spoke about earlier inrelation to tell you you know and Ithink more important that is action andI know youand I think we met around the same timeyou were redundant and yeah you openlyadmit those times you were taking actionI think a very honest and that but now II see you and I think people that seeyou on Facebook who are following yourjourney I seen you I think you'veadopted is it a miracle morning which ithink is probably propellant to yourstory but there's action being takenthere now now it's not just like fluffyaction like I'd certainly urge people tojust head over to your Facebook there'slike it's almost like a daily thing thatyou're doing and you're beingaccountableI know no he knew it's more for yourselfbut at the same time people are seeingthat and people are thinking hold on aminute this guy's out there now he'sactually taken action he's world startedto changemaybe I should implement it and I knowthere's a couple of other friends whoI've spoken to her actually adopting thesame thing so fair play to you for thatme yeah I think it's a to me readingbooks is been a massive thing to mechange came alive meeting people thathaven't lost in lost faith in theirdreams is one big thing and anotherthing we just read him books and readingyou know if you haven't got a problemfind a book for it I know that's that'swhat I've found like I said I said themiracle morning that's something Istarted as well which has a lot ofmassive impact on me that's basicallyjust having the morning routine spendingtime on yourself so with me he's alwaysabout doing stuff for the people nowmaking other people happy with you knowtrying to do everybody kind of controlanybody's life and making sure everybodygets on everybody's happyand I looked when I struggled to do thatI used to feel hard on myselfbut then I realized that you can'tcontrol anybody else in life you have toyou don't think you really have controlof yourself yeah and if you don't spendtime when you saw then and trying togive yourself to everybody's pretty selfyou'll never helped anybody starthelping you start become a strongerperson and then once you're in thatposition then you could have thoughthelping other people and I think that'swhat I realized from the miracle moreand I started spending time myselfreally you know I'd go out for a runcome back for my run do affirmationsmeditation you know things I found hardto forgive me ways a bit fluffy but nowI love it and I were just doingnaturally in our meditation I like Idon't sit there and sit in silence boyminutes I can do that I found it hardhaving my own timeI never done it but now it's something Ihave to do it's like a it's like amedication for me in a way if I don'ttake my medication daily I'll be startbecame depressed again and I think ifyou wouldn't mind just elaborating onthat actually because I'm a big believerthat we are a result of not only ourthoughts and what we tell ourselves butour daily habits and I've seen yourworld transform which is fantastic tosee as a friend so much since you'veadopted these habits so if if for thelisteners if you could just kind ofexplain your daily routine so I knowyou're very earlyyou acted up earlier than me one of thevery few so kudos to that but if youcould just explain from the moment youwake up just very quickly kind of likehour by hour or what you kind of do andmaybe people who have got a similarsituation to yourselves can kind of gettheir medication fix and get their dailyroutine similar to yourself okay so forme waking up at 5:00 a.m.most days I don't always do that hard onmyself as I always wind up again no I'min a late annoyed or make sure it's dogit must leave but make up a bit laterbut most most days are like 5 a.m. andseen as a wake up brush want to get downstairs I have a glass of water and thenI'll just cause it'll get at the houseas fast as I can get out do a 5k runduring that run sometimes listen to anaudio book or sometimes it just besilencing my own thoughts and I'll justthink about things and and then thinkabout life think about ideas and then bythe time I get back I'm quite fresh nowthe cold air outside quickly at themoment hits your face and it just wakesyou up and then what time I get homethen I go straight into meditation I maysay for five minutesI'm from there I'll go new look at mygoals which I've got on the wall fueland then do some affirmationsI'll talk to myself about what mypurpose in life is and and what I wantto achieve that's bigger than me andthen I'll write down three things thatI'm grateful forand then you haven't done an audio bookwell of Brian Oldham audiobook at theend and then by then I'll do othersocial media updates which I've startedto do not just do you knowpatelliday of America morning that'spart of it trying to inspire people tothe point for me it's a massiveaccountability tool so by me having topost every single day that I've justdone my miracle morning gets me up andit gets me doing itI know another gonna finish it off byposting my miracle morning tellingpeople Barry it's 20 inspire peopleif I've got a four to the day while Iwas running that came to mind or shareat that points and that starts me oftenand not that way then it's right youknow it's around about seven o'clock andmy day's going to start there and we'rebut kids wake up several kids to schoolget back home around about nine o'clockand then when I'm a real apartment thatday is in the impetus my propertyinvestment business that's when I startdoing that so you know like to beputting offers in going see propertiesgoing to see reefers been doing you knowbut by then I'm ready to gowhereas before or probably wake up atnine seven o'clock right with the kidsTeddy come to school running aroundstraightaway not no time to think gethome nine o'clock have breakfast go tothe gym at 10 o'clock 10:30 11 o'clockand start doing some work because thekids because the kids are free o'clockabout about two hours to do ready workon my property business how am I goingto do anything and make my propertybusiness work I'm just spending twohours doing more doing that you know andthat's what I realized you know by doingeverything all that stuff in the morningget you going and in it when you getgoing you're going you know you knowit's been you know a day just even likedoing stuff that you're really focusingon during the day absolutely I think Ithink it's key also as well especiallylike with social media and emails andstuff that that key part of the day thatyou've taken out for yourself which aswe talked about earlier it's reallyimportant to look after yourself inorder to be able to look after otherpeople it's it's done in a time wherenobody's really going to be emailing younobody is able to take away your energyor control it so I I do a similar thingI'm not shy away from the runs a littlebit more than yourself but I get myselflet's call it medication I do the stufffor myself first so I've kind of hitthese small wins so when the day doescome and your throne with curveballs asyou probably know as a property investoryou're kind of more resilient towards itplus if the day goes tits up shall wecall it you've still got so many thingsdon't let you've stood on your ownyou've been the affirmation you'veinspired people online you spent time inyour daughter's you've took them toschool so you've still got a fair fewwins if that makes sense so I think yeahit's fantastic yeah and it changed mylife and like I say I have to do it nowbecause I know I've spoke to you beforeabout this and and I look like myproperty journey in January 2017 and inthis mindset stuff but then you kind ofcame my whole life I became a differentperson everybody around me so I knowgenius you've changed you know it wouldseem like really confident you knowpeople and people started coming to meand saying now people that I used tolook up to you so I coming to me andsaying you know tell us about this bookyou reading tell us about this you knowhow how have you become this differentperson and I was telling him like youknow I was inspiring people and Ithought wow this is amazing and thefirst time ever I could really say thatI lost anger lost the you know the way Ifelt about the past and I let it all goCourtley and I forgave my dad andappropriate up and I forgave myself andmore importantly and I started moving onand I thought wow this is amazingand then November time my sister got itall and you know to begin me we know wedidn't think he was that bad you know Isaid he's off right we were told offReuters because people you know have butthen it kind of then it we got told he'scoming called mixed tissue disease I andthen she went in for a routine checkupor mid-novemberand he just kept just kept betweenhospital I meant being on a propertycourse that weekend and getting back upone of the day and my brother-in-lawcalling McKnight a nap he knows he'sjust not well and she's gonna keep herring and you know she's annoying I seeyou know and it just like crazyI thought what what what they just saidit was you know mix tissue disease andit goes a bit more serious and I thinkit might be you know a raven where arare case of this so we're kind of youknow I went there straight away I knowstage of a hospital for two and a halfweeks and you know that's another thingwith property and stuff that you knowallows you to do that if possibly my jobI wouldn't be now just gone and do thatthat's what I see being could made nomake me realize a limp or two thateverybody's having some kind of partybeing salutely wait but kind of goingback to this door you know but whathappened he's like it just it just itjust like my whole life has changedand you know we've been I mean Iremember this what we've seen theconsultants one of the points and hegoes that we've never seen a case ofthis in the UK it's only been a handfulof cases in the worldright you know we've got nothing torefer to and you know he says you knowit's it kind of didn't look good at allbut if you know if you heard whatthey're saying you think that's it butwe never left we never lost five youknow we have to believe in no she'sgonna make it when my sister was talkingyou know she's the best person I everknew and I feel quite decent George willget furious and you know at thebeginning she was you know obvious thefirst few days you know she's on abreathing machine and that was told itwas like she's doing American everysingle day right that's how the pressureit was on her lungs and she's justfighting it and it's unbelievable saysshe I don't have to put her in aninduced coma you can't keep doing thisand then to Cuzco more you guys laterand you know she never I won't quotefrom that and it's just like it's just acrazy time you know obstinate you knowwhat points that we fought she's gonnabe okay and at those points you knowyou'd lost the news it or favor gettinglike along this collapsed and stuff likeher and you know I was I was able to bethere from the right from the beginningyou know I stayed there every single dayI slept there a hospital talk to herread books to her you know I read a bookThe Alchemist the first time while I wasthere and they talked about no purposein life and stuff and then kind of mademe think and I said to her then does itlook you know I said as a child thatwhat I know that my purpose in life isto make sure that every child has thesame opportunity in life that everycharge of her and that's what I'm gonnado and I'm going to complete thattogether and you know of course she'sgonna make it's gonna change your lifeand we're all gonna you knowleave our life's to max because kind ofjust before she went on reading thefive-second rule and I said like I saida book always comes to me at the whitepoints and you said in there she talkedabout a story of a better dad had a headhead tumor and she didn't want to askhim directlyhow are you afraid because she didn'task him that question but you could putthat you poor white 5 4 3 2 1 just askhim I might see your sister - it was twoor three days before she went intohospitalsat there just sitting in a chair and Isaid you know for about you know whatI'm gonna say I'm gonna say 4 3 2 1are you afraid and she goes she goes nonot reallyshe goes you know I know this is gonnachange my life but I think I'm gonnadeal with me she goes you know I've beenworking too hard and and I already knowthat I'm gonna from this it's made meI've had to sit down it's made me stopand it made me think about things in alot more detail and you guys gonnachange my life now and it spent a lotmore time with my family and they're thefolks and the things that really matterin life and I thought yeah maybe this isa blessing these guys it's like awake-up call for him he's gonna changeyour life completely and you know kindof she never had that opportunity to dothat and that was the hardest thing forme that she she knew what she wanted todo now you'd change in life and shenever got to do that I think that's oneof the key things have changed me sayingthat you know you don't know what'sgonna happen in life you know how peoplealways wait wait for this wake-up callas such you know he's gone propertycauses in and let the first put theperson at the front you say to you tellabout a story of their life and used tobe about hardship and somebody barbercam came and how he changed your life anice to think oh they look in a way thatthis they've had something happen intheir life that give him a wake-up calland they've got some new power thattransformed him as a person and madeeverything happen for them but itdoesn't happen like that you know I lostmy sister I mean it didn't automaticallytransform me into this person that's hada wake-up call he knock mesix two six four six to be basedbasically I I tried to deal with it youknowby keeping busy first and I just freemyself into my property in the gettingfinished anything else and I didn't getmuch time to himself grieve to grieveand and you know to get over it and thenit wasn't until about April so I didn'teven 18 the wife said look we need toget away and putting a bit of timetogether as a family abroad okay let'sgoand so we get to Egypt and I had a fewdrinks and I kind of got back to theroom and I just got his crushed totallyand all this anger just flew out and Iwas like God and I just shouting inevery way we've done this to us whileplaying games of us you know tragic hardlife just as a point where my sister'shappy we're all happy mom's you knowI've settle down we've what we've allgot you know we were married about kidsmoms relax for the first time in her armlife in an alive why are you playinggames with us and why you doing this andalways anger came at it all all totallytowards God and you know I came back andI just crashed I uh I thought green keyI was watching the World Cup under thefirst time you know our drinking onmyself and I've never done night my lifeand I just totally burned all that stuffyou know from just before having thisbook and changing our minds in openhouse all went out the window back to aworse place and I've never been horribleI froze in the dark hole and angryfriends I was angry angry everybodycovenant just angry personhey you know I was angry friends for notalways asking me how I felt about mysisterI was angry about you know people nottotally understanding how I feel and youjust I just started going out of controland expecting some everybody's to helpme and get me out of this hole and itdoes enable you to do something for meand when they weren't able to hang withthem and then and then it came to apoint when I said look Jin you need tocontrol of your life what did you do atthe beginning this year to change you asyou person as a person you need to goback to the basics and start doing thatyou know I can't you can't lady sisterdown that's what I basically didand they're kind of it back to thebasics Nora okay first of all I need tofind a book I find a book that helps youdeal with grief and it's specific to meso I went out looked on found and Imanaged to find a book about how to dealwith the loss of a sibling as an adultis that the exact title because I'm justconscious if anyone's gone through asimilar situation to yourself yeah Imean that's cool because there's manybooks that talk about losing as a childlosing somebody but it's not many booksas losing your sibling as an adult andthen the book that is the title of thebook and I read through that helped meunderstand why I thought were a way Idid how the relationship between my andmy sister is totally different toanybody and how friends and everythingelse wouldn't understand and that's whyyou know your sibling is the only personthat knows you better than most peoplecould I seen you as a child growing upand every stage of your life and that isan amazing relationship that no not manypeople others death understand I call myfriends brothers and I say all the timeand when I say my friends and mybrothers I really mean it and you knowthat was part of my sister's wedding myclose friends that part of my you knowpart of everything I bring them aroundmy house that I'm making part of myfamily and I do everything with them butwhen they didn't feel the loss of mysister the way I felt II always angry atthem was it well she's your sister tooI get they're not how come they're notmorning with like I'm mourning and thenit wasn't until I read this that port nothey're like are having my sister wasdifferent was different yeah and thenshe's special and you know obviously I'mgonna feel that because they didn't theyweren't they didn't grow the way I didwas they did everything that me or mysister went through together and I thinkthat kind of optimize really does a starand then then I started thinking aboutmore about God and my relationship withGod a lot more and then another thing alight bulb came and he said and it waslike okay all my life I've said God didthis god help me with thatI did this God you've got about a hardlife so you owe me you owe me cuz I hada hard life you need to make this happenfor me this happen committees happenedway and and because I've done that I'vealways gave control to God an externalforce and then somebody clicked in mymind that Jin you need to take controlyourself in your own room life and thenI seen a world Smith video and WillSmith said there's a difference betweenFault and responsibilities yeah and itjust clicked in my head again and Ithought okay you know I'm blamingeverybody blame murder blaming everybodyelse their areas yeah okay it wasn't myfault that haven't happened to me it'snot my fault I lost my sister I thoughtthat a lot of what I said to my dad youknow happened but he's moreresponsibility start control takingcontrol of my life that is moreespecially those with my you know that'ssomething I need to do and that's what Istarted doing by taking control of mylife started running again so I did mymiracle morning again I started writingthe book onlineanother thing I've always fought is Ithought I'd seen social medias adifferent tool Sydney totallydifferently I thought okay these areamazingaccountability tool and if I post mystory online every single day it'll makeme do it and I'm just I'm writing mystory so I'll do my miracle morningsenior Timmy oh good morning spend halfan hour to an hour just writing one ortwo pages of my story and I continuedoing that and then you know pleasedon't always want to do I had all thesedreams I think I wanna do I'm gonnastart doing them now I know I could'vequit talking about him I'm gonna stopdoing them so before I know I've writtenmy book your forty thousand wordsyou know next year I'm gonna publish itand 2019 I'm gonna sit down again putinto chapters you know and the bookgonna be called the beikokubecause I bet that's where he's been forme you know there's been lots of wake-upcalls in my life and you know it's it'sgonna be of a twist to it because youknow people always wake white withMichael Corbitt run tell you that youdon't need the wake-up call to changeyour life and the white book or does notnet mean that you just change life mydad had lost his brother that could havebeen his wake-up call but my dad was hea victim you know journeys on lifeupside down even more so you know thatdon't worry learn that Michael Cordes Iknow I think this was one of the mainreasons I kind of want to join the showas well is because okay you've hadplenty of wake up cause I'm sure peoplewill understand you've not had theeasiest of lives but I always myself aswell I almost trying to tell people donot wait for something bad to happenI tend to find that if there's a badevent or something happens in say forinstance a family for example then allof a sudden everyone's live in a life ofgratitude for the next week and you knowthey're really grateful for the littlethings in life but then very veryquickly we kind of just get consumedback into like normal reality I supposeor like the rat race or whatever youwant to call it and we just forget youknow and then in priority start changingwhereas I'm very conscious becausesimilar to yourself I mean I can't saymy life the same as you all we'll haveour own trials and tribulations but I'vealways just tried to live with gratitudeeven in the good and bad times and Isuppose it's come from reading and stuffbut your book sounds fantastic I know Iknow you would do something I didn'tknow you had written 40,000 whereas andI'm sure it's gonna be a big hit matebecause you're not just you're not justdoing a course or reading something andI'm writing a book about it like a lotof people out there do today you'velived it and one of the things which Ithink people will resonate with this yesyou understand the whole aspect ofcontrol in your life and takingresponsibility and accountabilitybecause only you can do that but you'realso showing your vulnerabilities inthat you had it under control then youwent away I think it was in April 2018and you lost it againthen you grasped it again and it'salmost like you know the answers butthen even even yourself with all themindset and the reading and all thehabits you still fall off a little bitand I suppose it'll get easierand I suppose sooner or later you willnail it down and you have less of thesekind of falling off the wagon shall wecall it moments but it's inspiring it'sit's something I'm sure a lot of peoplego through and a lot of people have thatkind of is it the victim mentality asopposed to the victim as you you've gotin somewhere in you I can feel this youdon't wanna let your sister down and I'mconfident you're not letting her downknowing the person that you are seeingyour transformation I just want to addone more thing I remember seeing yourfirst Facebook live videos and we werefriends at the time and nice to watch itI used to think this isn't the gin oh nolike did you know I know you know whenwe sit together and we go out you're funyou're laughing you're smiling and therewas almost like an element of hurt andanger or it could just be that was fiveo'clock in the morning I'm not sure butit was weird because I was like peopleneed to see the real gin and it's onlyrecently and I'm very proud of you forthis because in the last two or threemonths especiallyyou've kind of come out your shell andyou're almostgetting a bit of a following now whichis more than well deserved becauseyou've been through it and one of thethings I knew you always wanted to do1224 months ago was to help people andjust generally inspire people and Ithink you have in those in thebackground I'd always keep him there abit like my first YouTube video as Ikeep him there because I want people toknow listen myself and Jin for examplewe were naturally shy introverted peoplewho didn't know what was going on almostlooking around the world thinking do webelong here should we be telling peoplea story and this is one of the reasons Ireally wanted you to kind of tell yourstory because it's only gonna expandyou're only gonna inspire more peoplewith it so the question was gonna askwas about adversity first he's been amassive part of your life with like yoursister and your uncle and your dad soI'm gonna just kind of bypass that justever so slightly but if you could justquickly just give it like one tip so Iknow you use the book as an examplewhich really helped you overcome thegrief aspect but if there's somebodygoing through something now or ifsomebody out there has a friend orfamily member who's going through whatwould you recommend to them because Iknow I spoke to you briefly about thiswould you want people to come and speakto you about your sister or your fatheror would you prefer it was just kind ofswept under the carpet like the elephantin the room yeah that's a good pointreally because a lot of people likepeople that even speak to me it's allabout ityou know the never said a word and forme that that that that was worse Ibecause you know it's always there nowpeople might be daunted peak to about iton a racy or I don't have heard thatperson by bringing a memory back up butyou have to remember when you losesomebody you never always always thereit never goes away saying you're notgonna bring that memory back up you'renot gonna hurt me in any way you knowit's there he's not hasn't gone away sojoin me and asking me how I feel youshowing me that you you know it's notgoing away and you you're interested inhow I'm feeling and I'm thinking okaythank you for that I think that's usefulbecause myself as well I'm guilty ofthis myself is that you kind of feelshould I bring it back up again but Ithink you've hit the nail on the headthere this is a part of you now likeyour sisters loss is always going to bea part of something like you just saidyou it's a daily thing isn't it soI'd tell you eight people who areperhaps going through the same kind ofemotions or seeing someone they'restruggling with to kind of try maybetake that advice on board I'm not sayingit was the same but it would certainlyhelp most people okay if I test it thankyou for that Jude I just want to justmove this over a little bit what is yourbiggest fear I know you're a father andI've seen your daughter's they'readorable and you might say somethingabout them I'm gonna cheat here andyou're not allowed to mention your wifeor your two daughters so what is yourbiggest fear I think I'm always beenscared of heightsokay I'll get really nervous if I'mgoing to a certain height oh I said mywife and I we get too happy about it Isaid I'm really scared of heights I'mgonna gon do a parachute drop next yearand I go if I do that and that's one ofthe biggest gay things I'm scared ofthen I won't get on be scared on mychest so let's not run persuaderbut going a bit deeper you know thatthat's one thing I think a lot of peopleare scared of heights and what's otherthings yeah but going a bit deeper pinkfor me I don't want to wake up you knowone day when I'm you know 60 70 yearsold and say I wish I didI wish I did this or wish I did that weshould do this oh that's that'd be theworst thing for meI thought our druthers I'd rather wakeup at that point I you know I did thisbut he didn't work or it did work butyou know at least Detroit yeah I'drather be in that position and you knowI want to be I want to be an integrationtomorrow you know I said don't mentionyour wife and children is much worse youknow I wanna inspire them is what muchas anybody else and I won't be much ofan inspiration if I'm sitting there 6070 years old saying I wish I did thisalways I did the poor didn't envelope Ohfantastic great points okay so thereyou've heard it that is the buzzer thisis the fun part of the show so if you'restill with us thank youwhat I've got is a whole heap ofquestions that I'm gonna run through forthe next 60 seconds and it's up to Jinto try and answer as many as possible soJen are you ready ready three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when are your fame fameNetflix are YouTube they play coiling ortexting take it in Coke or Pepsi Pepsiwould you rather know how you would dieor when you were dying how Christmas orbirthdays their plays your coffee takesummer or winter summer your favoriteplace in the whole wide world Hong Kongspeak all languages or be able to speakto animals whole languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it bepoverty Facebook and LinkedIn Facebookwould you be able to read minds orpredict the future predict the futurehave you ever been in a fightoh we are actually coming towards theend of the show now there's so much morethat I could speak to gin about andhopefully I can get him back on thepodcast just to kind of maybe delve alittle bit more into the whole theadversity side because if you could takeanything away from this podcast is thatwhatever your current situation iswhether it's worse or whether it's thesame or slightly better than Jin'scurrent circumstances is that there islight at the end of the tunnel and Ithink gin shows that 1/3 isaccountability in moving forward in hisactions but two he's now becoming a verysuccessful property investor he's nowattracting a lot of investors so we'redefinitely gonna move it over to thefinal question so the final question Ihave today is if there was a book and Iknow actually you're gonna be creatingyour book next year but let's just saythere was a book written by somebodylet's call it your guardian angelsomebody looking over your shouldershe's seen everything you've been throughin life and they've written a book aboutyou unless say in 150 years time sciencefails to save us or and people are stillreading books what would the blurb ofthe booktell us about Jeannette well so I hopeit would take him in like this I wouldsay that Dean was a man that had mychild keeping his lifehowever never-never net life beat himdown he always got up and dusted himselfoff and kept moving forwardshe was an inspiration to us all that youonly have two choices in life really toget knocked down and stay down or get upand keep going he chose to keep going Imean lady did do that because it wasn'tonly a great husband father brother andsonhe's also a great human being he knewhow easy purpose was in life and thatwas to help young children sufferingfrom hardship have a better life and hestuck to that and he made many a manmade that crew for many childrenyou understood Roy's purpose was he'sbigger than him so he couldn't stopgoing Wow I'll tell you what if I seethat glyph I'd certainly pick it up andI just want to add to that he was also agreat friend as well so truly from theheart so there you have it guys that'san unbelievable story one riddled withups and downs which is still beingwritten and I think that's the mostexciting thing because Jin is stillwriting his story and I hope many of youfind that inspiring enlightening and I'msure Jin wouldn't mind I'll put you onthe spot here a little bit if youreached out to him if you ever want tospeak to him so what I'm gonna do is ifyou could just Nuttall just for theviewers if they want to reach out to youwhere is the one best place to find youand just personal message me on FacebookI don't like them definitely alwaysepital if I can inspire somebody andhelp them in any way I can on theirgreat way fantastic there you go guysJin well find him over on Facebook thankyou Jin for your time and as alwayspeople thanks for listening thank youand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Stop making excuses, you are just scared and it’s holding you back! Let’s talk about breaking the habit of excuses. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio TeachingCoaching.net BPN Supplements http://www.bareperformancenutrition.com?rfsn=870439.32142b CODE “Jalai” 10% off Titan.Clothing “Jalai” 10% off For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE https://linktr.ee/teaching_coaching --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day? No carbs after 7? Is any of this true to be fit and lean, come listen and find out! Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio TeachingCoaching.net BPN Supplements http://www.bareperformancenutrition.com?rfsn=870439.32142b CODE “Jalai” 10% off Titan.Clothing “Jalai” 10% off For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE https://linktr.ee/teaching_coaching --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

You can’t run away from pain, negativity, and struggle in your life. Conflict is what helps you grow and you need to start deciding what is worth enduring for. Use the struggle to make you a better person and achieve your goals. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio/ TeachingCoaching.net For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE https://linktr.ee/teaching_coaching --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Cardio is very beneficial but most people do it completely wrong. Tune in to hear the appropriate way to incorporate cardio into your program. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio/ TeachingCoaching.net Gerard Adams IG- http://instagram.com/gerardadams For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE https://linktr.ee/teaching_coaching --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Stop waiting for the perfect time to do things, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and people miss opportunities everyday! Let’s discuss how we can overcome this. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio/ TeachingCoaching.net Gerard Adams IG- http://instagram.com/gerardadams For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE https://linktr.ee/teaching_coaching --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

I hear 5 Excuses all the time about why people can’t go to the gym. Although these things may be true they are still excuses and I’m going to help you get past them. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio/ TeachingCoaching.net For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

It’s time to stop making excuses, stop lying to yourself, and start holding yourself accountable. You should be setting high standards and you need to stop being a quitter, to succeed. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio/ TeachingCoaching.net For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

How to use your small accomplishments to achieve huge goals. Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/teaching_coaching/ Podcast IG- https://www.instagram.com/teachingcoachingradio/ TeachingCoaching.net For tips/training/general questions/business Teaching_Coaching@outlook.com Audible free first book! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Membership/dp/B00NB86OYE/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=teachingcoach-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4899bfcc56d126ea121cdad6d554a970&creativeASIN=B00NB86OYE --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app