Podcasts about i thought

HTGG's review of the song I Thought by the US artist Quando Rondo.  

I Looked again so I found out the Lightning WERE in fact playing the Islanders up in NY like I THOUGHT they were --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/linda-mcgrath/support

Author and poet Dr. Allyene Palmer, Ph.D., M.A. in Theology, looks back upon her life as a panorama of tragedy and triumph.  Her book begins during the Great Depression and continues through World War II, The Cold War, The Korean Conflict, and Viet Nam, up to the current wars in the Middle East. In this […] The post I THOUGHT 40 WAS OLD: Eighty Years of Trying To Get It Right! by Allyene Palmer appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

Author and poet Dr. Allyene Palmer, Ph.D., M.A. in Theology, looks back upon her life as a panorama of tragedy and triumph.  Her book begins during the Great Depression and continues through World War II, The Cold War, The Korean Conflict, and Viet Nam, up to the current wars in the Middle East. In this […] The post I THOUGHT 40 WAS OLD: Eighty Years of Trying To Get It Right! by Allyene Palmer appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

Author and poet Dr. Allyene Palmer, Ph.D., M.A. in Theology, looks back upon her life as a panorama of tragedy and triumph.  Her book begins during the Great Depression and continues through World War II, The Cold War, The Korean Conflict, and Viet Nam, up to the current wars in the Middle East. In this […] The post I THOUGHT 40 WAS OLD: Eighty Years of Trying To Get It Right! by Allyene Palmer appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

Author and poet Dr. Allyene Palmer, Ph.D., M.A. in Theology, looks back upon her life as a panorama of tragedy and triumph.  Her book begins during the Great Depression and continues through World War II, The Cold War, The Korean Conflict, and Viet Nam, up to the current wars in the Middle East. In this […] The post I THOUGHT 40 WAS OLD: Eighty Years of Trying To Get It Right! by Allyene Palmer appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

The Problem & The Solution - Episode 3 | "I Thought" On this episode Drizzle talks about the public perception changing about getting the vaccine and more! "Drizzles Stamp Of Approval" 1. Rubbin Of Whatever You Want (Mashup Mix) - Zach Fox 2. FEAR - Kendrick Lamar 3. Curren$y, T.Y. & Fendi P - No Lames 4. Curren$y - News On Mute

Fear ruled John's every waking, and even his unconscious moments. He'd often wake to find himself in a panic. He found a recovery program that taught him not only how to take one day at a time but also how to build a successful life where he's able to be usefully whole and help others.MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEINGFear... of economic insecurity will leave us.ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economiccircumstances improve, are two different things. WhenI was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. Ithought fear would leave me only when I started makingmoney. However, another line from the Big Book jumpedoff the page one day when I was chewing on my financialdifficulties: "For us, material well-being alwaysfollowed spiritual progress; it never preceded."(p. 127).I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee.I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, thatspiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear ofbeing destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefitothers. I've found that is what others valued all along.I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. Ionly get the use of the wealth God created, I never have"owned" it. My life's purpose is much clearer when I justwork to help, not to possess.Need the Daily Reflection Book?Visit our web siteRead about Recovery on our BlogVisit our Facebook GroupFollow us on TwitterSupport the Podcast:- On Patreon: https://patreon.com/dailyreflection- On PayPal: https://paypal.me/dailyreflection

Dr. Jayne ND Hom interviews Debbie Emick author of "The Other Side of Perfect - Discovering the Mind-Body Connection to healing". Ir is a brutally honest and revealing peek into the life of a woman whose multiple diagnoses including autoimmune disease with a bleak prognosis was the surprising source of ultimate liberation. The key was the mental emotion cause and the story is the healing that happened when it was acknowledged. An incredible story of Mind-Body healing, Spiral Up, Spiral out, with Debbie! To learn more, and more podcasts go to INpoweredhealth.com #jaynemarquis #mindbody #empowerment The Other Side of Perfect: Discovering the Mind-Body Connection to Healing Chronic Illness gobucketyourself.com/books gobucketyourself.com Check out our podcast, One Life. Live It! Find me on Instagram @imperfectprogress.me mentions in the podcast The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate M.D. Expressive Writing: Words that Heal - book about journaling to heal Brene Brown books: "I Thought it was Just Me" or "The Gifts of Imperfection", either would be good for understanding shame and becoming vulnerable This talk by Glennon Doyle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHHPNMIK-fY This podcast is for information purposes only and represents the views and opinions of the speakers. The information presented is not meant to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease. We recommend you seek the advice of a licensed healthcare practitioner before beginning any natural, complimentary, or conventional treatment.

问：佛教承认风水吗？Is Fengshuirecognized in Buddhism? 答：风水勘探的是外在环境，佛法探究的是人的心境。佛法讲“依正不二”，依报（环境）随着正报（心境）转，福地福人居。一个人住在什么地方，是由自身福报决定的，而非风水决定福报，所以，勤积善业才是根本。The purpose ofFengshui is to explore the external environments, while Buddha Dharma is toprobe into the states of human minds. Buddhist teaching holds that relianceretribution and the retribution of body and mind are the dual aspects ofoneness. Reliance retribution (that is, environments) follows the retributionof body and mind (namely, the state of mind). Just as a saying goes that ablessed land is home to blessed people. One’s dwelling is determined by his ownmerits and virtues, not by Fengshui. Therefore, good karma is essential inmeritorious accumulation. 问：我家风水不好，觉得搬家工程太浩大，于是想靠修心转风水，后来发现修心比搬家难度大多了，相比还是搬家吧。I felt theFengshui of my home no good, but found it too troublesome to move. So, Ithought of cultivating my mind to change my Fengshui. Later on, I found it muchmore difficult than moving. Finally, I thought it better to move. 答：心不改变，业不改变，命就不能改变。譬如脸上有黑点，不去洗脸，只换镜子，换再多镜子结果都一样。如果自己心存善念、正念，自然能够感得好的“风水”；反之若心存恶念、邪念，即使已得好的“风水”也会被改变。Notransformation of one’s mind, no change of his karma, let alone his destiny.Take black spots on one’s face for example, if one only changes mirrors butnever washes his face, a great number of mirrors make no difference. Keepinggood thoughts and right mindfulness, one will naturally feel good about hisgeomancy. Conversely, with evil thoughts and bad intentions, even good Fengshuithat has been obtained will deteriorate.

Lisa Bennett wants to be your friend! Seriously. Listen to this episode to get to know more about all things Lisa and her story. Make sure you listen all the way to the end for an encouraging reminder about how we treat ourselves and live in our current season! Shared on the show today: The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi   The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown   I Thought it Was Just Me (But it Wasn't) by Brene Brown   Mr Rogers Mug   Parent Cue on Facebook

Pastor Nick Santo: Transitions Study #18: "I Thought we were Done with this!"

Well. There was plenty of bickering to go around on this weeks episode of The Watch Men Podcast. I THOUGHT having Jonny on as a guest host this week would improve the chances of one of this weeks films to move onto the winners bracket....but I was WRONG. It's not like Finding Forrester vs Remember The Titans should be a close match up.. Right?    Links in Comments! Intro by Grant Sabin

BOOTS & SADDLE - NOVEMBER 10, 2020 1. Bricks and Mortar - Sonny Burns (Single - 1962)  2. Six Days Awaiting - Kay Adams (Wheels & Tears - 1966) 3. Down at the Corner at a Bar Called Kelly's - Johnny Paycheck (Single - 1978) 4. Good Times - Michaela Ann (Single - 2020)  5. Devil Got the Woman - Greg Garing (Single - 2020)  6. Jeremiah - Sierra Ferrell (Single - 2020) 7. Let Me Die With My Boots On - David Quinn (Letting Go - 2020) 8. Leaving's the Last Thing - Croy and the Boys (Hey Come Back - 2016) 9. El Crimen de Culiacán (feat. Los Amables Del Norte) - Chalino Sánchez (Nieves de Enero (feat. Los Amables Del Norte) - 1992) 10. Motel Rooms and Coffee Shops - Rusty Stegall (Single - 1967) 11. There They Go - Leaf Rapids (Citizen Alien - 2019) 12. Ghost Town - The Divorcees (Four Chapters - 2012) 13. Lay Down Your Arms (After A Hard Days Surf) - Matt Monsoon & the Riff Ryders (Riden' The Riff - 2006) 14. Real Money - Robbie Fulks (Couples in Trouble - 2001) 15. I Thought of You - Connie Smith (Cute 'n' Country - 1965) 16. You Make It Easy to Love Again - Zephaniah OHora (Listening To The Music - 2020) 17. I Do My Cryin' At Night - Rhonda Vincent (Written In the Stars - 1993) 18. Borrowed Time - Garrett T. Capps (Nobody's Gonna Help U - 2020) 19. The Lovells Stockade Blues - Rachel Brooke (The Loneliness In Me - 2020) 20. I've Got a Dollar - Juliet McConkey (Disappearing Girl - 2020) 21. Eyebrow Fire Chief - Jolie Blue (Canadian Drifter - 2020)  22. Keep On Truckin' - The Jakebrakes (Winnipeg: The High & Lonesome Years [Vol. III] - 2005) 23. I Never Go Around Mirrors - Frannie Klein (A Night Of Country Music - 2019) 24. Workin' Man's Song - Andrew Neville & The Poor Choices (Let'r Buck - 2007) 25. Bare Feet on the Hardwood Floor - Joe Wilson (Denim and Roses - 2020)  26. Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby - Rex Griffin (Hillbilly Classics - 2012) 27. Buck's Tacos - Matt Monsoon & the Riff Ryders (Riden' The Riff - 2006) 28. One More Time Around - Bobby Austin (Apartment No. 9 - 1967) 29. Not the Tremblin' Kind - Laura Cantrell (Not the Tremblin' Kind - 2000)  30. Under Your Spell Again - The Buckaroos (The Buckaroos Play Buck & Merle - 1965) 31. Did You Talk to Him Today - Johnny Dollar (Johnny Dollar - 1967)

Dear Rebecca and Burns, My husband and I have been talking about getting a pet.  We both agreed that a pet might help with our stress level, and might even give us a reason to exercise. I THOUGHT we were talking about a dog, or maybe even a cat, but I came home to a new terrarium and a PET SNAKE!!! I can't get past the fact that he didn't ask me and our marriage is feeling pretty chilly. Please help!

BOOTS & SADDLE - July 21, 2020 1. Safe Within Your Arms - Greg Garing (Safe Within Your Arms - 2020) 2. Four, Five Times - Buddy Emmons (Buddy Emmons Sings Bob Wills - 1976) 3. I Thought of You - Jean Shepard (Single - 1955) 4. Black & Blue - Zephaniah OHora (Listening To The Music - 2020) 5. Recuerdos - The Mavericks (En Español - 2020) 6. Lost in Austin - JD Clark & The Stuck in the Mud Band (JD Clark - 2020) 7. N'importe Quand! - Damn The Luck (Ayscrim Delicieu! - 2020) 8. Rose Tattoo - DW James (Jack Of All Trades - 1996) 9. Sometimes the Grass is Really Greener - Robbie Fulks (Gone Away Backward - 2013) 10. Can You Tell Me - Laura Mae Socks (Where You Go - 2019) 11. A Tombstone Every Mile - Red Simpson (Truck Drivin' Fool - 1967) 12. I Can't Stand Me - Merle Haggard & The Strangers (Swinging Doors - 1966) 13. Stoned At The Jukebox - Katy Moffat (Loose Diamond - 1999)  14. Orange Blossom Special - Buddy Emmons (Steel Guitar - 1975) 15. The Stranger I've Been - Joe Pug (The Flood in Color - 2019) 16. Saturday Night - Amber Digby (The World You're Living In - 2013) 17. Two Fools - Michaela Ann (Desert Dove - 2019) 18. I Forgot To Remember To Forget - Johnny Cash (Single - 1958) 19. Bronco Billy's - Joshua Ray Walker (Glad You Made It - 2020) 20. On the Rocks - Skinny Dyck (Get To Know Lonesome - 2020) 21. I'll Let the Steel Do the Crying - Philippe Bronchtein (Single - 2020) 22. Fooled Again - JP Cyr & The Midnightmen (Fooled Again - 2020) 23. Bad Liver and a Broken Heart - Zachary Lucky ("One Night in Toronto" - 2020)  24. Nobody's Fool But Yours - Buck Owens (You're for Me - 1962) 25. St. Claire's Retreat - Jesse Daniel (Rollin' On - 2020) 26. Ain't Gonna Wash My Face for a Month - Goldie Hill (Single - 1955) 27. Everything Was Fine - Secret Emchy Society (The Chaser - 2020) 28. Am I To Be The One - Ezra Lee (Copycat Killer - 2019) 29. There Will Never Be Another You - Buddy Emmons (Steel Guitar Jazz - 1963) 30. My Baby - NQ Arbuckle (X O K - 2008)

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE A YEAR FROM NOW!!??   When you think about where you want to be a year from now - do you still want to be trying to lose weight stuck on the emotional diet rollercoaster? I’m hoping 187% of you would answer that with a hard NO!   In this episode, I'm going to be talking about 5 simple steps to sustainable weight loss...   If I can teach you just ONE THING, it’s to stop chasing the short term, instant gratification quick fixes...   I’ve been there and I want you to LEARN from my mistakes with my 5 SIMPLE STEPS…   But FIRST, I want to fill you in on a little something…    I was the QUEEN of yo-yo dieting and self-sabotage...   I was busy counting my 1200 calories a day all while overtraining so I could burn off the “fat” and get “lean”.   All while I was miserable & felt like shit on the inside…   I wasted more money on “fat-burning” supplements, magic potions, and shakes because I was led to believe it was the only way and it was working for “EVERYONE”!   Like many, I THOUGHT it was the answer and I thought each new quick fix was going to be THE ONE because I was desperate and just wanted to see some results.   Listen up and try to understand... The weight loss industry is a $72 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY. They thrive off of our weaknesses and promises quick fixes that don’t work! In fact, 95% of diets fail YOU (that’s a 5 % success rate) LESS than 3% of people who are successful keep it off for 5+ years.   So let me ask you again...WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A YEAR? Stuck? Struggling? Dieting your ass off? Frustrated? STILL?   This is exactly WHY I changed the way I work with my clients and WHY I use the CIRNA Method with them.   5 SIMPLE STEPS to SIMPLE, SUSTAINABLE WEIGHT LOSS...   * Getting to the root of your weight loss struggles * Working on your relationship with your body and food * The TRUTH about food and nutrition ( what the weight loss industry won’t tell you) * Healing your metabolism and hormones * How to make it work long term and find the right balance *************************************** LADIES, would you like more Nutrition & Exercise Tips for lasting weight loss and lifestyle balance??   Join us in my FREE FACEBOOK GROUP     This group is specifically for women who want and need a different approach to health. An approach that starts from the inside, out  

Thank you to Ashleigh for commissioning this episode! These chapters were a little awkward for me as I realized that what I THOUGHT the author was doing wasn't actually what was happening. I thought that Lillia would be the babe-in-the-woods naive type, and everyone else would begin to figure out that she'd been played. It...did not happen that way. Meanwhile, Lorkin is learning how to make the stones that can perform magical functions with the Traitors, and he's learning about the connection with this magic and "High Magic" which is what enables these stones to be empowered. Interesting!Thank you so much for listening to this episode, and I will see you soon!

Soooo, I THOUGHT I was bout to have a fun summer. I THOUGHT that. (Recorded August 13, 2020) Correction: Lamorne Morris

Noise of the Broke Boys Episode 018DJ Phixion shares his music production process and the inspiration behind his recent album, Cinemadeck. We talk about DJing, turntablism, and the artistic relationship music has to other mediums.DJ Phixion's album, Cinemadeck is used as a backing track to this entire podcast. Peep his Bandcamp site to hear and purchase the full album:https://djphixion.bandcamp.com/Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here: https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoysA broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.----more----[Music]this episode of noise of the broke boysis brought to you by memes you lovearguing over the Internetwhat about condensing out the nuances ofa complicated topic by adding a sentenceof text over a picture of a cute dog areyou too busy to read news articles infact check their sources and wouldrather look at a poorly photoshoppedpicture and gather everything you needto know from that or are you more of thetype that loves to troll the world andwatch it burn with silly low-qualitystock images either way memes are aperfect solution for all theaforementioned desires please check outnoise of the broke boys on Instagram formore information about low-quality memesnow on to the show[Music]in this episode I meet with my boy DJfiction we were both part of the samegroup of delinquents back in school atthat time I was amazed to find out thathe was also an amazing DJ and musicproducer since then he has traveledaround and lived in several countriesincluding the Netherlands and Luxembourghe recently released a new album calledcinema Dec that I absolutely love I putthe entire album as a backing track tothis episode but I encourage you tolisten to it in its entirety without myannoying voice over it included a linkto the album in the description pleaseenjoy the episode with DJ fiction helloeverybody welcome to the end of theworld show international edition today Igot a very special guest his name is DJfiction what's up man how you doing goodman how are you good to be here I'mgreat manso you're out there in Luxembourg rightcorrect dope so we could talk about thatlater but what I what I know you justcame out with a brand new album cinemadeck I checked it out it's one of thedopest shit's I've heard in a long timeyou've been making music a long time manso can you tell me a little bit aboutlike what was the inspiration for thisfor this musical project cuz I know youhaven't really put something out in awhile right it's been a while but likejust like yeah that's probably becauseit's just the way I live like I movedaround hella the last like six sevenyears yeah and yeah it was just it wasmore because of that but the inspirationbehind this specific album is likeold-school movies like sixties moviesespecially French movies Italian moviesthat kind of shit I really like thatshit like Fellini movies or jean-lucGodard Francois Truffaut this kind ofshit so the inspiration for that waslike around 2015 I started watching likehell of these movies like hellaokay then I was just thinking to myselflike there's a lot of good music inthese movies yeah there and also thequotes and stuff and I had it in my mindto make kind of like a concept album andthen revolves around these and yeahpretty much like even the name the nameof the album by cinema deck like inFrance and here in Luxembourg as welllike the theater theater it's like retrotheaters right where they showold-school movies and shit really okaythese are called cinema Tex cinema Tibetso then I just took dick like aturntable yeah yeah and dude like alittle what combination ding okay that'stight that's tight oh yes so you yousaid that they're they're like 50smovies is around the era that like likelet's say like late 50s to like latesixties yeah because it's it soundedlike that you know when I was listeningto it I would hear you know some kind ofold-school stuff you know it has thatthat the recording quality from thattime and so that's what I was thinkingit was probably that you know what ImeanI mean it's also the music I sampledright like a sample hello jazz and funkand shit like that yeah yeah I would saythe vast majority is from the 60s yaknow it was nice because I would hear Iheard a few breaks that you put in therethat I was familiar with and then Iheard a lot of stuff I've never heardI've never heard of and I was kind oflike yo did this guy sample this or didhe make this like what's going on solike I mean it sounds like you obviouslysampled a lot of that stuff so it's likeyou really had to do a lot of diggingI'm guessing obviously sure movie stufflike so when you're Lizzy - I meanuh-huhso when you're like watching some ofthese movies you're hearing you'reyou're just like going that's a dopetrack I'm gonna try to find it and likehow do you how do you I guess pull itout are you able to find the trackpretty easy like how's your digginprocess for thatso like most of the music is not sampledfrom the movies but some of it is how Idig for shit I mean is like how anybodyelse does right I mean like go to recordstores discogs.com is like my fuckinokay I'm buying hello shit on therebut also just like hell it fools uploadshit on like final RIT blogs ok justfine a hellish it like there butbasically like digging um and just undidthe shit the old dudes used to do youknow I mean like premier or Pete Rock orlike the dudes that I admire like DJshadow DJ Krush yeah cam and you justfind out what they sampled from yearsand years of before you know like whosampled calm now everything everythingis outed right like now every is peoplefind the shit but before you didn't haveanything like that you had to just findit yourselfyeah maybe a little bit based on anartist or a label or something like thatof the sampled artists and then youcould kind of like dig a bit further togive it further old shit like this is amaybe obscure album by this artist or bythis label that nobody sampled let'syeah yeah and then with the movies isthe same shit I mean hella old likethere's this one dude it's Dimitri fromParis ok came out with the album in the90s called the sacre bleu that kind ofis sort of the same thing said hedoesn't sample so many French movies hesamples American movies examples havelike Audrey Hepburn and shit like thathad music from those movies as well sothat was kind of like an inspiration forme as well mmm so you were kind of doingthe like the reverse of that of what hewas doing even though he's Frenchfunnily enough but yeah and I'm Americanbut so you're pulling on how to frontyou're pulling out French movies okthat's tight no I mean getting gettinginspiration from like other people likethat is really dope I mean and like whatI really liked about the album is thatit really I could really tell that youwere digging for it and I feel like it'ssomewhat of a lost art at least fromwhat I see on like the mainstream radiosand stuff and it's like it's kind of sadbecause I think maybe because of a lotof copyright laws and stuff that that isgetting like kind of pushed to theunderground a little bit more now butit's like it was super refreshing tohear that because I was like yo this guyput so much time into digging like I cantell this is likeyou know you were had you had the likethe early 90s type of like diggingattitude in that in that in the wholealbum is what I was feeling as Lisa it'spretty much my whole my whole idea likeall I've ever wanted really with musicis just to sound like mid 90s like crushand shadow like I always just went forthat that kind of aesthetic why nobody Imean people still do sample I mean lookat like hotline bling right that wasfucking huge and that was fucking yeahyour sample right nothing else I don'tknow if it's because a copyright orbecause people's tastes have changed youknow people like now more syntheticsounds which also do I also do likecompose some shit and like yeah there'sone track that has practically nosamples I can think of on the album butstill I like that grainy that you getfrom it's kind of like a nostalgic typeof sound you know like right now it itwas very moody what and that's what Iliked about it it was um like I mean itwould yeah I guess similar to like amovie really like you you get like thesemoody tracks in it I was like okay thisis tight you know and it really feelslike you're going through like a wholelike a whole storyline almost you knowwhat I mean is that kind of what you'regoing for pretty much exactly you nailedit like even before I had the idea tosample like specific dialogue and haveit in order throughout the album to makea storyline what I mean but that wasjust way too fucking complicated and inthe end I kind of scrapped it but stillI have that idea in my mind that I couldhave done that like could have made afull-fledged like chopped up my ownstory from all these other movies likeimagining 20 movies that you sample allthese different lines and all thesedifferent languages but yeah you canmake a cohesive story out of it yeah andthen set it to musicit's can opera in a way yeah like hiphop yeah yeah no that's tight yeah I'vealways liked those kind of like albumsthat have some sort of kind of storylineor whatever like what immediately comesto mind is on the album that Dell didwithmmm Dan the Automator remember that oneit was a home runyeah yeah it was like super weird kindof story but it was like it was like Ikind of I kind of dig it yeah or like Iknow Kendrick Lamar does a lot of likeconcept type of stuff like that he's gotsome kind of storyline that like looselyconnects everything I always liked thatbecause this this that the single trackslike our good standalone but then whenyou listen to the whole album you'relike oh I get it dude he yes he has heyou know you you put a lot of likeeffort into like really pulling thelistener in I mean it reminds me sort oflike you know like Pink Floyd used to dostuff like that where they would likethe wall exactly yeah ya know the it'slike the you you put their record on andit goes from beginning to end and it'slike man this was a whole story andevery single song kind of like bleedsinto the other and stuff it feels itfeels like you're on like a I don't knowlike a like a Disneyland kind of likeride or something code through the wholelike the whole album it's it's dope yeahso I really dig that that's tightthanks man that's definitely kind of theapproach I had I missed back in the dayshow to use to have a cohesive album thatpeople would listen to you know cover tocover like nowadays it doesn't seem likethat's the case I mean now it's likekind of more single tracks yeah I thinkeverybody just puts out single tracksmost of the times but I missed I likedthe album format I always liked it yeahyeah yeah albums are like perfect lengthreally for like a listening you knowlike you sit down it's usually about anhour to you know 45 minutes to like anhour which is kind of like what I try todo with podcast to but it's like perfectto sit down listen to some stuff andjust you know take yourself on a rideand stuff but yeah a lot of people don'tdo that anymore which I miss I mean withwit plank with vinyl especially you haveto do that right yeah yeah like a recordand just listen to it right you sitthere I mean I'm in my head like diggingfor samples and shit but I have you knowa bunch of records from like you know90s guys and shit like that and yet youjust have toyou gotta just sit there and listen tothe fucking thing you gotta have allyour you know sense is kind of focusedon that yes so actually so like whileyou're listening to music you're sayingyou're like digging so like what's thatprocess like what's going on in yourhead I guess what makes a sample kind ofstick out to you are you kind of like hiJay how are you just like so I'm notlike musically trained that's the thingyeah yeah I played I played piano forlike I don't know five six years as akid look that was a long fucking timeago I don't remember it but I don't knowyou just kind of hear something like alittle phrase you know a sequence ofnotes or not even just like some kind ofyou know a feeling really and and maybeyou can you know manipulate it a bitlike a lot of samples doesn't sound goodat the speed it's at you know so youjust slow it down oh shit now it soundsgood like a good example of that is doyou know the survival of the fittest bymob deep oh yeahlike there that sample was only justdiscovered recently like what it what itis and it's like fucking ten timesfaster you would never recognized it ohokaybut another another thing is like you'llhear so this maybe could work but maybeI have to chop it up and like rearrangeit or whatever okay what are you doingthat in your mind as you're listeningnot really you kind of just hear it andyou're like maybe that I can use thisokay maybe like you'll end up using oneout of ten it's just like it's that'swhy it's called digging gram you're justdigging for shit and most of it's gonnabe worthless yeah ya know when I wasyounger and I would do that I had a lotof like just trash track you know trashlike records just that I heard like onelittle piece of a thing and I was likeexactly but yeah it's like a ton ofstuff that's just junk though but youwait you're waiting through shitbasically I mean yeah but you thinkabout it in another sense I remember Ithink it was DJ Shadow thatinstead from already recorded music thathas already sold right it's alreadysomeone at one point thought this wasgood so if you're making music frommusic that somebody at one point thoughtwas good your shits probably gonna begood too right mmm I mean how could itnotmmm I see in a weird way yeah that nothat that that's tight no you know whatthat reminds me of like um what's hisname Bob James oh shit yeah yeah likecuz that guy what his his music was justit would always like every two secondsor whatever it would like change thewhole mood of it and I remember there'slike a couple songs he has that so manypeople have just sampled from and I waslike like Nautilus not exactly and it'slike I did not know that that was thesame song because this guy song soundsso much different from this song but itwas a track that you can sample yeah Iwas like holy crap dude that's dope sono but that makes sense I mean like andI know that a lot of times you'll you'llfind an artist that has yeah like youknow say like premiere sampled somethingand you go okay let's check out thiswhole this artist's whole distantdiscography and then find a lot of otherstuff that's just kind of hidden inthere and or whatever or like say likein James Brown's a case like you knowhis band like they had their own albumsand stuff so you go and check them outand stuff or like they're just thedrummers and stuff like there's a lot oflike just hidden gems out there for surebut it's a problem needs to find it Imean I've been doing this for like youknow 13 14 years you know you do thisover time it becomes almost secondnature you don't even think about itanymore you're just like alright here'sthis here's this you just startconnecting the dots until the pointwhere yeah you kind of almost know whereto look now No so does that change theway you listen to just music in generallike so when you're on the radio you'relike picking out okay what was thissample from or like what is this drumdoing or whatever I mean that just comesfrom learning music production rightokay yeah I can't listen to any musicanymore without thinking in my headwithout like they do this how I was thismixed how was this produced how was thisprogram bah bah bah yeah withoutbreaking it apart and finding all thecomponents of it ya know I've like I'vebeen like trying to do that too I kindof do that for dancing anyways becauselike it's just good to it's a good levelit's a good way of adding like depth tothe way you dance because you can youknow say dint you can follow like abaseline and then you can follow like adrum pattern or whatever and yes whenshe turn that and I noticed that thatskill transfer is really well to musicbecause now you're listening for thosesame things that you would have beenlistening for in dancing but you're nowgoing like okay now how did theyactually make that that little neatpattern or whatever you know this is thethe snare is doing this doot doot dootor whatever so a site no but yeah itreally it it it deepens the way youlisten to music is what it sounds likeit's kind of annoying at the same timetoo like I probably pissed hello peopleoff like they'll be listening to somesong like this these drums a week likethey should have done this they shouldhave yeah so do I do a lot of people golike oh let's not talk about music withyou is that yeah it's just it's justsomething that happens I mean when youwhen you start to I guess yeah they'llkind of deep into something that mayit's probably the same for everythingright you probably have a full sore likehow I entered like video productionshould they get break apart everybody'sYouTube channel like yeah and I meanthat's I guess part of the artists Imean and I know a lot of times when Ilook at like a painting even I'll golike okay you know I like to try to takea step back and just go like okay takeit in what it is what it is and then gointo and like look at how they did somebrushstrokes on it or whatever how thecolors are composed but like you can'thelp but do that because you're tryingto figure out how they made what theydid and you know you know I guess that'sa that's part of the artist quality Isuppose you know I do it with dancing itjust just comes with the territoryyeah it does but itI think it makes the conversation aboutthat particular content even betterbecause from are you talking to right Imean it's best if you're talking tosomeone who knows as much or even morethan you do rightwell even someone who doesn't know likeI mean cuz I don't know that much aboutmusic but I really like hearing your youknow what you have to say about itbecause it's it's making me realize likeoh yeah this stuff goes a lot deeperthan I thought you know what I mean andI'm hoping that oh you know open-mindedpeople would gain the same kind ofinterest into that because I mean musicis just soaked it's so complicated andand just listening to you know just asong on the radio I mean just the likethe primal instinct of yourself is to golike oh yeah like this this is somethingthat groove - it's kind of like you shutoff your your conscious mind and justlet your subconscious like soak in themood or whatever but then if you do letyour conscious kind of like take it intoyou're like man this is reallymathematical in a way you know what Imean it's very scientific it's cool likethat you know and we're just talkingabout production I mean that's all IknowI don't know any fear right you don'tknow any theory at all like like I saidI used to play pianolike I know basic chords scales likecircle shifts this kind of shit but Idon't know anything beyond that likeokay well I mean I feel like that'sthat's a good starting point that maybenot people don't even know I mean it'slike yeah I would say that's as basic asyou get oh yeah sure sure but I know alot of people that wouldn't even knowwhat you're talking aboutyou know what I mean scales and circleof fifths and stuff and you know and Iguess even how that relates to likeharmonics and stuff so yeah yeah sureI mean like I say like well when Iproduce a track I practically alwaysstart with some bass like not not basicinstrument but like a bass likefoundation sample and then maybe I'llcomposeof that so I know I'm already startingwith a key that I didn't think of rightokayyeah I could I could tune the sample toa key that you know let's I want this infucking I don't know I mean you can onlytune it to certain keys that it'salready harmonized with right anywayI usually never start from scratch let'ssay you know I mean yeah I don't needsomething but that it someone probablydoesn't even know what you're talkingabout in terms of like pitch shiftinginto like a different scale and stuff Imean back when I was like a highschooler and I didn't know anythingabout music and I would go and grab likea song like I would try to make littlemixes and stuff and I would grab a songand like I didn't know how to doanything and so it would always soundkind of weird because it would always gofrom like this key to a different keyand and so it was just my you know highschool mix or whatever that I was tryingto make and you could tell that there'ssomething wrong with itbut you musically don't understand itand that's probably me nowadays I meanyou don't even have to like you gothella programs and shit that will justidentify the key for you and like youcould just harmonic mix so breezily yeahthat's true that's true yeah so do youuse a lot of like plugins and stuff whatprograms you use actually so I justproduced using FL okay L studio 20that's what I use since the jump I usedit since like FL five or something butyeah I tried all kinds of other ones Ihaven't tried Ableton that's the onethat everyone uses now yeah I started byusing Ableton actually and that's Itried Pro Tools I tried sonar at CubaseReaper I mean they're all pretty muchthe same from what I can understand it'sjust whichever one you'd like yeah Ireally like about FL is the piano rollit's like super intuitive too- both with like instruments and withwith drums but you know for sequencingbut and then yeah of course hell offucking mixing and and and yeahproduction Suites yeah well games so doyou know a lot about like soundengineeringoh so that's one thing I don't really dolike sound design like designing theinstruments and the voicing no no nowhat do you do like you master your ownstuff yeah yeah okay so that took likehello time to learn as well yeah butit's a art formobviously I'm never gonna get it as goodas a treated room in an engineer yeah byhand I'm cheap man I mean it sounds goodto me so like I mean I don't have likethe best equipment but like the roomreally matters like this room has hellafucking echo I should like put likehello like foam and shit on the wallsokay yeah I wonder if that I wonder ifthat actually helps make it um have moreof a nostalgic sound almost you know Idon't know but I do try to like listento it in different environments likeheadphones car yeah this that whateverwhatever I mean it's it might sound goodon the monitors but it might sound badsomewhere else yeah it's weird how thathappens yeah it's just you'll play it inyour in your headphones and you're likeoh this sounds dope and then you'll goin your car whatever you like manheadphones are the easiest by far tomake sound good as yeah experience yeahyeah yeahso so when you're when you or whenyou're working on mastering a track isthat like part of your workflow or youknow they should be done at the very endlike you've already done you're done butthe production you done with the mixingand you bounce it as a final wave stereowave and then you just master that yeahyeah but when you're in that masteringphase are you going like okay let me getit perfect in the headphones and thenlet me get it perfect in the car let meget it perfect on like a cent a wholesound system in like an auditoriumwhatever the the monitors like thesethesespeakers the studio monitors that's whatI you totally get it perfect on that ohI see okay and so that ideally you wannalike the flattest sound you know theflattest frequency response which isyou're not gonna get unless you havelike I mean sound you know come bouncesback and forth all over the place rightso yeah you're not gonna get the bestsound unless you have a treated room andreally like treated speakers everythinghas to be that's why you would pay amastering engineer like thousands forthis right yeah yeah it's it's crazyunless I was gonna get like returnedlike on my money yeah I don't know Ijust don't see the pointso you you sell I know you obviouslysell your music on Bandcamp but do youdo like a lot of shows and stuff man notfor a long time like I used to but thatwas like Haley years ago deejay live butyeah I should get back into it like butthat's a thing like I mentioned earlierlike I moved around a lot man like inthe last 10 years I lived in like yesSweden Netherlands Belgium yeahSan Diego Netherlands again and then nowhere in Luxembourg and like just so manytimes I had to find sell my equipmentover and over and over you know yeah soI remember you you were gonna ask melike yeah like what's it like to youknow does living in a different countrylike influence your art and yeah forsure it does just because of theinconvenience of moving around all thedamn timeso so what areas you've I mean you'refrom San Jose right and then you livedin Amsterdam for a while and then thelast time I saw you in Amsterdam yeah inAmsterdam and then now you're inLuxembourg were you in anywhere elsebetween there yeah yeah I lived in SanDiego for 3 years % yeah San Diegothat's right and so I mean like whatstake what's been taking you in thoseareas I guess jobs man just don't workso it's just working and so then youknow I like to I like to travel and andlive in different places and shit likethat it's fun I mean it's inconvenientas all hell and yeah pain in the ass butit's cool yeah yeah and so it you thinkit influences like the music you makebecause yummy for sure because sometimeslike when I was in San Diego I had likeno money and I had to just make the shitwith what I had you know yeah I couldn'tbuy the shit I wanted now I practicallyhave everything I wantso she'd become easier now it's alsodepends like what kind of people youmeet right like what kind of you knowmusic with other heads you knowdifferent kinds of people all over theplace right yeah yeah and be myinfluence so do you do have you done anyprojects with other people so a bit butnot that much I had back in San Jose whorecorded some shit over some of mytracks real talented musician here I wasgoing out to Paris for a while it's likeonly two hours away by train and there Imade some some friends and we kind ofwork on some shit together kind of morelike jungle music like you know likeearly mid 90s like Bristol German withway more syncopated break beats for anysizethat and then I met this one Japaneserapper dude be otha goes by our whiteyand we worked on a little bit of someshit together but usually for the mostpart I'm just like a standalone yeahperson okay I'm just like a controlfreak I think in the end like I need tohave like full creative control over allmy shit yeah that's like it's hard toit's hard to not do that because it'slike what you it's like what's yourworkflow dictates you know alone so thenwhen you're working with somebody you'relike oh I want it look like this butthen yeah it's sometimes hard becausethe vision is like not quite matched upit I relate to that because like a lotof times when you're doing like dancestuff like and you're trying to makelike some routine or whatever or likeyou know do some kind of battle orwhatever you're like working with a lotof people and it's like everybody hastheir own idea of what's gonna happenand it just doesn't quite come togetherbut what you always have to do I thinkis just like go okay I'm I'm open tolike taking everybody's thing cuz thisisn't this isn't my thing this iseverybody's thing you know what I meanyeah so it's it's it's it's hard to getover that that fact you know or acceptit you know what I'm saying yeah so uhare you working on any new projectsright now so just nowyeah just put out the album like a monthago mm-hmmand now I think I'm just gonna actuallyfocus on on DJ mixes for a little whileokay I just got this this this mixer yousee right here this is like a super rarevintage Vestax from like 1990 and it'sgot some cool shit this is the same samemix our DJ Krush uses okay dude is likemy fucking idol my hero okayso I think I'm just already put out acouple of DJ Mix's recently but but Ithink I'm gonna focus on that a bit andI mean I'm kind of tapped out now forproduction because I just put the shitout yeah it's like starting from zerowhich is cool at the same time like ohshit I I can make like something yeahyeah tabula rasa yeah it's I mean youyou hustled hard to get the thing doneand now you're kind of like okay let'slike take a second to breathe let thatmusic kind of get around and then workon your next thing how actually how longdid it take you to put together thatwhole album cinema day yeah it's kind ofhard to say because like some of thetracks I made back like in 2015 oh he's16 okay and I just had them I justdidn't do anything with him I just hadto sit and then some of the tracks Imade just like six months agookay we're like four or four months agoso you could say it took like five yearsbut that's not really accurate becauselike you know helot like I would I thinkwhen I first moved to Luxembourg Ididn't work on music for like a wholeyear I was just running around travelingyou know I was back in Europe was likeoh shit let me do this go here have funget drunk blah blah blah yeah so I yeahyou know I don't know total time sometracks probably have like 30 or 40 hoursof work into them whereas others maybelike less than 10 but like the wholeconcept of what I was trying to do Ithought of that years ago okay so it'sit's been kind of like something thathas been in the back of your mind tooyou know put together eventually okayyeah no I feel like I'm kind of likethat with with with like painting youknow cuz I like paint I like to painttoo I'll have like an idea of somethingand I'll start like a lot of times I'llstart painting something that's likeit's a like just a concept of what I'mtrying to go for and then I'll justnever finish it and I'll just kind oflike hang it up and stare at it to makemyself like you know cuz it seem likeit's yes sorta yeah no that's very truecuz yeah you're what I would always tryto do is just have it there look at ityou know everyday just look at somethingand go okay let's let that kind of soakin my head and see if I can come up withanything cool to do with it you know cuzI think a lot of it is always just cuzI'm really good at just throwing outrandom ideas and stuff but it's notcomposed into anything that makes anysense so but I have to always keep thoseideas in the forefront of my mind orelse I just forget about them so that'swhy I'll try to just paint like aconcept of something and just hang it upor whatever and then like look at it andgo okay that maybe I could use that withsomething else that I come up with sureor like with dancing I do that too Imean with dancing it's like I'll havelike a cool little move that I made butI'm like man there's no way in hell I'mever gonna use this alone so I just kindof write it down and hope that this iswhat I call like frankensteining shit ohyeah yeah you just like take bits andpieces from shit you made that's all notreally good let's say on its own yeahyeah like Frankenstein that shittogether and put it into one thing nowit's pretty good would you would you saythat there's a lot of tracks that you'vemade that are like that oh yeah all thetimehell at times are like I'll find somesample or something I try to use it Itry to make a track out of it nothingever works so I'm say I fucked this it'snot gonna work then like four or fiveyears later I'll have another track I'mlike you know this needs something elseand then I'll go back and go through allmy old man I have like you don't evenknow like a whole library of chopped upsamples like the thousands broWow and then I'll just like keep likelistening to them after this one thisone's holy shitwhoa this is like already in tune orlike oh this like fits harmonicallysomehow or like this fits rhythmicallyor whatever if I my tune it right or ifI chop it yes suddenly becomes usefulthat's that's really tight and that's sosimilar to us to what I do it's it'skind of crazy how similar that is it'show do you keep track of those things Imean like you say you got like thousandsof stuff like Joey it's like I fell intothe program every time you samplesomething and you just like drag it intothe playlist or whatever it'll save itas a separate wav file and then that wavfile is named whatever your sample wasnamed and I'm like a fucking meticulousNazi motherfucker when it comes tolabeling music okay I'm super meticulousabout all of it's all catalogued andeverything so all that shit is just yeahboom right there you would think thatlike so back in the day right you had tolike sample directly from vinyl intoyour MPC or sp12 or whatever whateverbut now what I do I don't know I youcould do that but I just record thewhole record as a wave then I label itand I import it into FL to chop it up orwhatever okay so you have the whole thewhole song and then you have all yourother chops okay that's tight I don't Idon't record a sample on its own likeyou would have done back in MPC daysyeah yeah okay no that'd make that makesenseand and so then like the way that I dolike when I when I'm doing kind of thisthis whole Frankenstein process withlike dancing it's like I'll make a moveand I'll just write down how it startedhow it ends on a piece of paper and Isave that and you know I know that it'slike junk moves but I'll just you knowkind of go on with my life and then oncein a while I'll get I'll start makinganother thing and then I'll end up kindof in the same position and I'll go likeoh yeah let's look back at that movethat I used to do or like that I wasworking on back then and just try tolike Frankenstein it in into it becauseI know that mybody is in a similar position as it wasin that move so let's see if I can likesomehow put it together or like changesomething so that it fits together but Ihonestly don't have a really goodprocess of like remembering that otherthan just writing it down it's hardit sounds I'm way harder with whatyou're talking about it's I mean I knowa lot of people will record themselvesand sometimes I do that but that worksyeah but then you got a crap ton offootage that you gotta go I mean yougotta go back and actually like watchthat shit ya know but yeah I don't Idon't really have time for that so it'smore like I try to associate like a moodto it or like a some kind of feeling toit so then when I'm doing something itin that same feeling it triggers thatand I go oh yeah let me try these likecolors and shit you know my yellownotebook for like this kind of feelingthis is my green notebook whateverwhatever ya know I used to I used tocategorize stuff all the time like thatbecause if I had a move that I thoughtwould make it would be really good aslike an introduction to like a you knowsay like because when you break you kindof you're standing up and then you'll goon the ground I'll go like okay thismakes sense for one of those types ofmoves or like if another move whereyou're going from the ground andstanding up or a way to like end yourset or a way to start it or whateversomething in the middleI'll categorize it that way but theseFrankenstein type of moves like yousometimes lose track of them I man I gotso many notebooks of stuff that I lookat it and I go like oh manI kind of remember how to do this but Idon't remember how to do this so it'shard like I really that's where thefootage would come in handy yeah yeahyeah but I've never been good at likecategorizing like recording myself sobut ya know it's it's it's a process butIII honestly think that that processmakes some some gold sometimes you knowwhat I mean I mean I would say most ofthe stuff I've ever made what came fromthat process anyway and it was that's Ithink that's the only way to really doit I mean no one's gonna just shit out agolden egg right yeah yeahhave you ever shit out one golden egg onyou never works that way yeah it'salways just like months and months ofyou know try this just trial and erroryou know try this try that try this trythat maybe something will work what whoayeah so it's kind of like a playful wayof like creating stuff I mean at leastthat's how I approaches is like I'llplay I'll just play around withsomething and exactly I have a wild assidea just try it out you know andsomehow after like you know God knowsdozens of hours of work you just sitback in actually sounds good yeah yeahso it is is that how you know that atrack is done when you could sit backand go like oh pretty much yeah yeah andthen you're listening to the whole thinglike okay this thing is ready to getmixed like well I do the mixingthroughout the production I shouldn't dothat but I do that okay I think mixingfor me is it's not if I work okay but sothen yeah you sit back and you're likeokay this makes sense I can start youknow maybe mastering it or whatever yeahI can bounce this yeah okay that's tightno wow so yeah so is that you thinksometimes takes forever like sometimes Ihave a track like got a had in a backburner for years okayyeah man so like I I just you know thislast probably a year and a half orwhatever I started getting like moreinto music production and like literallyeverything I've ever made is that it'slike it's shit that I just saved I yeahyou know and I just will listen to itand go like okay hopefully somedaythis'll like turn into the dope I havean idea I like I want to make some kindof album someday but like and I kind ofhave an idea of what I want to do butall these tracks that I potentially wantto use there it's like they're probablyat like 25% to 50% of what I actuallywantedto be but I think it's on to somethingand so I've just been kind of like I'llplay it once in a while to just listento and go ok see if I have any goodideas with it but it's like they're alljust like unfinished projects in my mindso and I'm afraid that it never willbecome that and I never will put out analbum but I'm hoping that someday I doit but most of the stuff I do isn'tsample it's all it's all like acomposition yeah but like in terms ofthe instruments and shit what are youusing because they're all electronic orare you trying to get like realinstruments it's all electronic I have akeyboard over here it's an akai it's a61-key whatever whatever mpk yeah yeahand I have a smaller one too that I cantravel with sometimes take it when I'mtraveling or whatever just to like pullwhat about the voicing the voicing ofthe instruments it's all like yeah it'sit's all I'm trying to like find likegood samples of stuff to use that but Idon't know I honestly just compose somestuff and if the notes sound trying tosound like yeah that that that's hardbecause that's getting into like soundengineering and I'm not good at that atallyou know I got some friends that arebetter at it but it's like you know thatthat's my idea is to like take thecompositions I've made and then you knowsomeday come back and then really likework on the voicing of it because Ithink that's where the big gap is reallyin what I do so I don't know I'm curiousI'm trying to like understand like whoare you trying to sound like if you toldme a I'm trying to like emulate thisdude or you know kind of you know I'mnot trying to sound like anybody reallylike because I approach music kind oflike when I hear something that I like Igo why do I like that and then um soI'll try to like dig deep into like thesong is it is it's just this chordprogression that I really like is itthis instrument the way it's soundingyou know a lot of reallygone back into a lot of like old like90s rock music like Nirvananothing I'm like sure oh man I just lovethe way that they did the guitar work onthis or something and it's like so I'mlike basically when I see that I go okayhow do i how can I make that samefeeling myself and so just what I do isI really study the way they made thattrack and then I go okay this is thepart that I do like about it let me seehow I can make them I said like how Ican I can create like a feeling likethat but in terms of artists dudehonestly I love all sorts of artistsdude all types of music I mean it's notjust hip-hop music or whatever for me sothere's a lot of times I'll listen tolike a country song and I'll be like ohman the way this guy sings this likethis little this course or whatever I'llbe like man I love it and like you knowjust try to figure out why I love it somuch and then you know try to figure itout I don't know I can't really sing butit'd be dope if I could that's that'sone other thing but you know I don'tknow so so essentially every time I makelike a new track it's just it's a it's aconcept of trying to recreate a feelingthat I heard that I really liked so yeahliterally everything I make soundsdifferent I think I mean cuz I couldn'tpin a style to it you know I imaginethat's probably like how Kanye West orwhatever like approaches artists likehim they just have so many differentsounds that are like attached to themyou know what I mean or like who else issimilar to that Keith I was gonna saymaybeI mean maybe even Pink Floyd like it'slike it's hard to pinpoint like whatexactly their style is I think you knowI don't know but you get what I'm sayingoh you know who woulda Tyler the Creatorlike we don't listen to his I neverreally listened to too much and stuff Iknow uh just like a bit I liked hismusic is just kind of like it's I feellike he doesn't have his style is tokind of like have it open I think youknow in a way where it's it's hard topin something to it you know like howyou hear some guys is like okay theseguys do like trap style music orwhatever this is more like a low fighttype of style or whatever it's hard topin it to to those guys you know so umit's good to incorporate all kinds ofdifferent different styles in your shitfor sure yeah like I can give him evenme I'll throw in like drum and bass andshit like I can I can just tell thatwhen they were making the song it wasinspired by something kind ofoff-the-wall you know what I mean yeahyeah I mean shit look at even like De LaSoul or something or Called Quest's backin the early 90s so like you know hippierap yeah yeah it isyeah we're like you ever listen to likefucking brother Lynch or like AK someKool Keith it's like horror movie shityeah it is it's it's kind of crazy yeahthose guys yeah they're like yeah theytell some crazy stories yeah I meanengine but like a brother Lynch I justimagine him and his buddies sittingaround like you know like like okaywe're like gangster rappers but what'seven crazier than like killing peopleeating them yeah yeah dude yeah theythey go they go they take it a stepfurther for sureso actually so who would you say areyour favorite artists right now I meanobviously you're saying like what wereyou saying premiere no all right nowyeah I don't listen to too muchcontemporary music like I'm I'm too busystill digging like what came out in the90s I mean I feel like I'm never gonnabe done okay especially like hellaJapanese shit man like fucking Japaneseproducers from the nineties are so goodand they're really around - yeah it'slike just some random label that onlyput out like five or six records andthat was it and yeah you never heardanything from these fools again butDanna some good shit yeah but like whostill makes good music now like the onlycontemporary producers I can think ofare more like electronic not so much hiphop hip hop to me like like it'sprobably I don't know I sound like adickhead or something but like hip hopto me died like a long time ago likewhat comes out now is not hip hop to meit's like some other thing it's trappedit's whatever it is that it's somethingkind of yeah it's it's it's it's morphedinto something different I mean like II've always said that like hip hopnowadays it it's it looks so differentthan what it started out as but it kindof like follows this in the tradition ofhip hop in the sense that everygeneration of it has tried to dosomething different than the generationwhich I would say follows kind of thehip hop tradition you know of like we'renot biting nothing you know like we'remaking our own thing so like I Irefrained from saying it's not hip hopbut I do think it looks completelydifferent than what it used to be youknow what I mean we're in wearing like anew John or a sort of but exactly youknow it's now it's I feel like it's ifyou were to say hip hop is notnecessarily a genre it's like anumbrellagenres and so you got is trash style ofhip-hopyou got this like 90s style like agolden era type of style yeah you knownow there's like the loaf I shit andthen there's you know I don't know theold-school stuff you know but you knowwhatever the fuck they do like yeahrapper's delight' yeah that kind of shitso all that stuff sounds so differentand you can tell that there was like ageneration and then that influenced thenext generation and then the nextgeneration but between those generationsyou're like man do they really jumpedbetween them so I yeah I I don't likesaying it's not hip-hop but I don'tthink that it sounds anything like whatit isn't it what it used to be so to melike like like even the basic structurechanged a lot like now the beats perminute are super slow you knowbefore hip-hop was always like what 9385 to like 1 105 or something like thatand that was it and then now it's likefucking like 60 70 beats a minute andyou're like double time high hats allthe time yeah yeah it's you know whattrap music is so weird to me becauseit's like it almost has two tempos to ityou know what I mean it's half time it'shappened exact time yeah and so it'scool because when I listen to it I'mlike all right this is like some shitthat you're just like chilling too butthen also it's like oh this kind of getshyped though but I don't knowthat's why musically it's interesting tome and when I first heard it I was likeand this is some stupid shit but alittle bit it kind of grew on me in in aweird way so I don't know but yeah it'sit it's weird because like the hip-hopdance was breaking and a lot of newmusic yeah a lot of the music now youcan't really break to it now I mean itall just slowed down over the yeah yeahyeah I mean you can dance you can danceto it but doing like traditional breakstyle moves you can't really do due toit so it's it's a it's a weird subjectbecause it it is in the vein of hip-hopbut it's also like I mean for sure theybecome something different you knowbut yeah no I don't know I I dig it it'sthey're doing what they're doing youknow it I'm excited to see where it goesfrom there you know in like 20 yearslike what's gonna be happening peopleman fuck knows man I mean you couldn'tlike predict people say that shit'scyclical right and sometimes I see itlike even like I remember in the 90selectronic music or like the early 2000sas well it was all just a rehash ofdisco music like straight up it was justdisco music yeah yeah yeah and then nowlike not now but okay what like five sixten years ago you had like vapor waveand that shit became LM big and that wasjust a rehash of like later 80's discomusic and especially like the Japanesecity pop shit which is good I love cityyeah so like this is a there is acyclical aspect to it and especially inthese genres like hip hop and electronicmusic where you're sampling all the timereusing shitI think the cyclical nature of it ismore of the feeling or the the mood ofit you know what I mean because likedisco for instance it has this like kindof party like dance with you know theladies or whatever kind of feeling andthen like they kind of went to you knowto like like in house music in a way islike kind of the same sort of thing youknow it's got that same kind of mood toit or like you know I don't know reallyjust dripped down disco yeah it is theycame from the gay clubs in Chicago yeahwhat they were just like yeah it's juststrip it down and make it just pure forto the floor shit yeah yeah yeah butyeah it seems to me like people go oh Imissed that mood I missed that feelingand then now new artists are going likelet's try to recreate that mood withthis new shit that we got you know whatI mean yeah sure that's what I see withthe cyclical nature of it which I thinkit's tight but like I don't know likewhat trap is maybe from nothing maybeit's totally like a new thing but Idon't know where they got this idea tomake it like all half time to make thelike these like really staggeredsyncopated especially with the high hatsand snares yeah yeah I don't know whereI came fromI don't know where it came from eitherbut to me it seems like like maybedubstep kind of like influenced it alittle bit in the way that they do thesekind of drops and stuff like cuz whatabout music as well yeah yeah I meandubstep was always interesting to mebecause what would happen is like itwould do this crazy build-up and thenright when it drops it slows everythingdown it's kind of like the opposite ofwhat you were thinking was gonna happenyou know what I'm Sam like and it's likea traditional techno song it probablyjust start getting crazy you know what Imeanbut it's like you know the drop is likeyou know a transformer sound and it justkind of slows down the beat kind ofdisappears or in a way and I feel liketrap music took that same idea sort ofand then maybe extended it and made itmore of like a you know a rhythmic kindof wait I don't know but yeah it's it'san interesting style of music yeah but Icould see that there's pieces of otherstuff that are kind of in there I don'tknow I think honestly someone probablywas just messing around and then it just[Applause]caught on so I don't know who knowswhat's next yeah maybe a rehash of theof the 90s hopefully well you know whatactually to be honest low-five music isreally blowing up in the last likecouple years and I really think thatthat has huge influence from the 90s youknow what I mean yeah it does it's kindof like I would say that's like acontinuation of like the early 2000slike nujabes and Dilla those are likethe godfathers of this genre right yeahyeah yeah people often put my music inthat genre but I think it's like yeahnot quite butthe thing with like lo-fi music is yeahyou have that really low fire aspectright we're like the shit sounds likeit's actually mixed badly purpose yeahor like has this really like tapequality like where the fucking timeof the pitch you know of the sample orthe whole song even starts to go offright yeah so it sounds like this wobblylike riverboat you know yeah yeah Ithink it's specifically made to soundold and and I guess in a way that it itmakes it sound more nostalgic sort ofexactly which is why I'm going okay notthe 90s is when you would have beenlistening to something on a tape likethat and so it may it reminds me of thatand they got like kind of you know somelike chill like hip-hop beats orwhatever so but it it seems to me likeit's it's kind of some derivative ofthat style of music yeah you're probablyright[Music]so you said yeah you're not working onany new projects but you're just doingmore like DJing now yeah just diggingdigging for for other tracks to mix andlike setting up set lists and shit likethatokay are you gonna try to do any morelike DJ shows I mean now with fuckingnot yeah yeah actually you know what I'mcurious like I've been seeing like a lotof like DJs that are going on yeahvirtual social media and they're doingjust mixes and stuff and like I thoughtabout doing that I would need to buy acamera but yeah I thought about that Imean yeah I could do that ya know thatthat'd be tight no I think there's onedude from Japan DJ Coco have you seenthis fool no he's crazy man he'sincredible like he only uses 45s okayand and nothing else apparently andthe dude is just incredible his mixingskill his like you know blending his hisselection is just bananas I'm thinkinglike this motherfucker must sit all daytill I come up with these these sets youknow he's got to live that life I meanyeah he's nuts man check him out he'slike incredible sick Coco against KOC ohyeah what is he on YouTube or where canI find him on Instagram Instagram okayyeah that's where I see a lot of peopledoing it he's crazy man he's got likethis one like fuckin like he's blind inone eye so like you just like see thisfool doing it likes one eyes like oldwhite looking in the other direction butlike his hands and everything is so fastoh shit and so this is he does he does alot of mixing does view a lot ofscratching or yeah a bit not so much manscratching like that's one thing Ireally like kind of em I mean it's nottotally dead but almost like right youwanna go I don't hear anybody reallyscratch anymore which sucks because theydo it I mean they sweeping it in and ofitself it's become like just like anovelty like you'll go on Instagram andyou'll find like twelve-year-old girlsthat'll out scratch like the DMCchampion straight up but no oneincorporates it into their music anymoreback in the day you would have had somesome scratch hook like the you know DJpremier the 7/3 whatever but now yeah Idon't know yeah no I I definitely missedthat I remember I used to try to scratchit it's like it's a art form in itselfdude yeah for sure I loved watchingthose old bat those like battleswhat is it championships with likeGooglers yeah because it's like dudethis shit is crazy I remember they usedto throw a few shows like in Sacramentowhen I was a kid of like the same kindof thing like they would just bring someDJs in and do it and I was like god damnthis is crazy and it was all like beforelike cerrado and stuff and so yeah yeahjust like you you couldn't just tap abutton and be like okay here we go likeyou know what I mean I can know wherethat shit is on you you see guys withlike they'd stack their records all onthis on the thing so that they can likemix it and they throw that one off inand they keep going I was like dude thisis crazy the process is so it's so crazyI just haven't thought out like yeah youjust planned that shit like practicepractice practice practice practice andthen you got your nice little yeah doyou think you can do any kind ofscratching like that I know you do somescratching but I scratch but I'm backdude nowhere near the level of anythingyeah do you ever try to do that that'slike I never tried to do any like crazyshit like you oldies like crab into theflare into this no no I was always justlike how do I make scratching into partof my productions okay okay like that'swhat I always wanted to do okay like inthe beginning when I first started likeback in college like in Davis yeah likein oh three or something yeah you wouldbe DJing the parties I think that's howI met because you were DJing and thenyou started scratching or some shit andI was kind of like oh this motherfuckerknows what's up cuz like most DJ's likewouldn't do that but I was like oh thisfool has some technique and I thinkthat's why I started talking to youmaybe we're like are you like playingsomething that like some off-the-walllike kind of music and I was like yothis dude was digging for this like it'snot just some fucking Nelly song orwhatever you know yeah I always did tryto do that yeah but yeah that's how Istarted out with DJing parties and shitin Davis and then I also like I waslearning how to scratch but then likesuper quickly I just went you know whatI just want to make my own shit I'm notinterested too much now I'm getting backinto the DJing shit but likelike as soon as I shift it intoproduction that's all I wanted to doyeah so it was like okay like such asfor production I just need to knowsomething so okay I kind of just yeahyeah that's dope so you used outs rightwhen you started producingmaybe oh six oh seven okay yeah that'sprobably when I first heard your musicactually yeah I don't know probably yaknow trying to remember cuz it was likeAnnie I don't you I think probablythrough Andrews yeah I think it wasthrough auntwell I know I think I met you Adam oneof his parties and you were DJ ah likeyuanbao I think we're DJing or somethingah I was probably the Halloween party wethrew no I don't know you before thatyeah maybe I don't know yeah that was along time ago but yeah I I definitelyremember you know what I probably metyou before that but I didn't know youwere DJing but I I really I remember amoment when I was at one of thoseparties and I like heard the DJ justplay something crazy and I was like holyshit dude who's DJing this shit is dopeand then I looked over to wherever youwere and I was like oh shit I know thisdude and I think I talked to you and Iwas like bro you know what's up like youknow what I mean like I had an immediaterealisation that it wasn't some fuckingjust regular ass person just DJing youknow what I mean it wasn't you know wellanyways dude we're hitting about an hourright now so we should probably closethis show out soon do you have where canpeople find you yeah any fucking musicplatform Spotify turns title band campYouTube whatever whatever youtube soit's DJ fiction pH IX IO n is that rightyep yep like we were talking before likewhat were you sayingI picked that name because I wanted aname I could scratch yeah you know Icouldn't make up I couldn't use my ownname I couldn't make up some other nameotherwise I would never be able to findsomething saying it but Iname like shit let me find fucking youknow whoever jaew the damager you knowFat Joe or somebody saying that shitthat could be fiction you know ya knowthat's some old-school shit for sureit's like a lot of people used to dosomething like that because you can findyou can find a record or whatever thatsays that word exactly yeah I know Ineed someone that went by chemical orwhatever there you go same kind ofvalues I just used Serato I mean youcould just have your home where you'llrecord whatever yeah now it's a loteasier you couldn't just do a littleMike shout-out or whatever you needed tolike find a record that you can actuallylike scratch or whatever now it's Seratoyou can kind of do whatever the hell youwant which is which is tight I think itmakes for some I mean shit I haveSerrano right here so what the fuck am Iyou know I don't change Serato at all Ithink it's it's not pushed it's pushedthe world of like music production intolike its realms it could have never goneto so I really like that you know itallows like the I think it extended thelife of turntablism you know what I meanfor sure for sure man you know regulartechniques 1200 you know whatever thatcould have been man it wasn't for Seratoyeah people were just using controllersand CDJs forever yep yep yeah exactlyand so you know it allowed like italmost aloud like turntablism to go moreinto like a mainstream in in a way Ithink I mean not that it wasn'tmainstream in the 90s but it was a sortof dying out out a little bit you knowso but yeah I would save I can't buy theearly 2000s I meanwas I mean still had like fools likeBabu and shit like thatmm that's true battle records yeah withall the steel ones super seal that'sdope so everybody check him outDJ fiction cinema deck it's a reallydope album there's like what 15 tracks16 tracks something like that no is itme okayokay yeah yeah really dope I've beentrying to play I think my phone turnedthe music off but I'll make sure I put aplaylist on this whole podcast so youguys can check that out thanks for beingon dudethis was great thank you amazing manhopefully I'll get this out this podcastout pretty soondope hey thanks for listening guys peace[Music][Music][Music] 

WELCOME BACK HOME MVC FAM! Reopening the ChurchVarious Passages June 21, 2020I. Introduction:A. Greetings1. I want to wish every father here today and watching on line a very happyFather’s Day! May you have a day to be celebrated and refreshed!2. And welcome to my brothers and sisters here at MVC Church today, our firstday back together after three months! It’s great to see you.B. A lot has happened in the last three months that has changed our lives, church andworld!1. COVID 19 has changed many of our lives and has kept us apart for threemonths as our hearts cried out to be back together!2. And the murder of George Floyd has made our hearts cry out for justice.C. I believe God is using this time as an opportunity to grow His church indiscipleship!1. He stripped away all our programs to help us see all the more clearly thatprograms are designed to disciple people and we want to make sure as wecome back we can do that even better.2. This time of heightened awareness of racial tension is a great platform todevelop us as disciples because the lessons we learn in this season are lessonsdisciples can use all their lives in all relationships and injustices!• So let’s start by looking at …II. The cry to be back together!A. One question our leaders and staff kept hearing repeatedly as we talked to peopleduring this time was, “When are we getting back together?” “The video servicesare good but something is missing!”1. There were two truths that kept ringing through my heart as I heard this:a) Read 2 John 12 – as good as letters are, as good as social media is, asgood as a video is, only face to face gathering fill our joy tanks tooverflowing!b) Read Ephesians 2:19 – we are God’s household, we are the family ofGod, we are brothers and sisters in Christ.(1) It is built into our spiritual DNA as new creatures in Christ to longto be together just as we long to be together with our blood family!B. So we put much work into coming back in a way that is timely, wise and as safeas possible for everyone who longs to be here!C. But I am fully aware that there are others who have that same longing to betogether but they do not feel it is wise for them to come back yet.1. I want you to know that I fully respect the fact that it is not right for you tocome back now and we look forward to your return when the time is right foryou!2. We are fully aware that MVC will be meeting on Sunday mornings live in theauditorium, by video in different rooms throughout the building and in manyhomes!a) We are asking God for wisdom to:(1) Minister well to all three venues on Sunday mornings(2) Encourage all of us to connect with other believers because weneed each other as believers, especially in days like these!(3) Encourage all of us in our faith because we need that in days likethese!• The second cry we have felt is …III. The cry for justiceA. What I am going to say is not all that needs to be said nor will it be the final wordthat is needed regarding the unjust, brutal and cold-hearted murder of GeorgeFloyd, and the aftermath of that murder. It will be just my two cents added to thediscussion and next steps for us at MVC.B. Before I jump into my comments, I want to say a few more things so you knowwhere I am coming from.1. I am aware that the racial problems are bigger than just in our hearts and itreaches into our families, churches and culture.a) But I am also aware that if our hearts do not change first then ourfamilies, churches and culture never will!b) Tony Evans said if the church is broken then we really have nothing tosay to the culture around us until we clean our own house!2. I need to let you know up front that as a white person I cannot empathizewith blacks because I have not been where they have been.a) Their experience in the United States has not been the same as mine as awhite person and they have experienced suppression, injustices andinequalities in many respects!3. While there are policies that the police department can still improve upon, weneed to recognize that there are many good police officers who love thecommunities that they serve and whose hearts have been broken and repulsedby what the officer in Minneapolis did to George Floyd.a) Their reputations have been ruined by the few, the many are bearing theconsequences of the few, and many are hated and judged without beingknown.b) We must not forget them and appreciate our brothers and sisters who aregood and faithful ministers of Jesus on the streets of these communitiesas they risk their lives to keep others safe!c) Please be praying for them!4. Ultimately, this is not a black and white issue or even police officers andblack community issue – it is a spiritual war where Satan is using people aspawns to destroy one another, relationships and communities and especiallyimportant to us today – even divide the church!C. Let me share the two verses that have been rolling around in my heart!1. Read Psalm 89:14a.a) Righteousness and justice are the very foundation of God’s reign.b) Righteousness – that which is morally good and rightc) Justice – the impartial and fair judgement and punishment of thebreaking of a law!2. Read Ecclesiastes 8:11- I going to give you the Pat Peglow paraphrase ofthis: simply if an evil deed is committed and justice is not administeredquickly then man thinks he can get away with it and does it all the more.D. So let me tell you how I think we got to where we are today1. So first, consider the fact that most of those who rule over us in ourcommunity, state and nation do not lead from righteousness and justice butrather have rejected God, His Word and His wisdom and think they havebetter and wiser ways than Him.2. Add to that when a policeman or a looter or rioter, when a wealthy person orpoor person, when famous or a nobody, when a white person or a blackperson, when a person in position of power and those who are powerless arenot dealt with quickly and with equal (important word – equal – one moretime - equal) justice for all, not only do they but those around them see theycan get away with it and jump in with both feet so it spreads from theindividual to organization to the culture.3. Compound this with the fact that this has been going on for decades; youkind of get what we have today when it comes to racism and prejudice inindividuals, families, churches, cultures, organizations, and court systems.4. If equal and fair justice for all would have been put in place decades ago andadministered quickly we would not be where we are today!• So let me suggest a few, not everything that needs to be done but a few…IV. Next steps for the people of MVCRepent1. The standard that God has called us to in our attitudes and relationships withothers that are different than us is the one we find in the Bible and displayedin the life and character of Jesus2. In light of this my guess is that everyone of us, black, white, police, rich,powerful, etc. have places we need to repent!3. Listen to your own thoughts and what you are saying at home when no oneelse is around but your family and you will get a sense of where your heartreally is.B. We need to celebrate what God celebrates – diversity in color and class andethnicity. I love what one speaker said, “Jesus did not just shed His blood to saveus but he shed His blood to make us siblings!1. One black brother I spoke with told me that all his life he has not feltaccepted or valued as a black man in a white church. Simply the more whitehe acted the more he will be accepted by the white Christians.a) This is not a brother with an axe to grind; this is a man of God humblybeing honest with his pastor.2. Stop saying you do not see color. Actually, start seeing different colors andglory, delight in, accept, and learn from the diversity that God has built intoHis church.C. As disciples, we not only follow Jesus but we impact others! Many of us thinkwe need to do something big and significant to impact others and our world!1. I want to remind you of the last sermon I preached before we went to videosentitled “Changing our world – one life at a time!2. Remember this quote from Jeff Manion – “Most of us desire to live greatlives. We fear we will fritter away our days without leaving any discerniblemark on our world. However, in our quest to live greatly, we search forsomething great to do. Something big. I believe this to be a huge mistake.Greatness is rarely achieved by doing great things but instead by doing goodthings repetitively. Jeff Manion “dream big think small”3. The first step we can do in changing the world is to be faithful on the circuitof life and people where God has placed you.a) Lovingly and humbly, challenge those of the same color as you who aredisplaying words, attitudes and actions that are sinful racially.b) And those of a different color from you use your words, attitudes andactions to help heal and bridge the racial gap!D. Our next step as a church – a community of people together1. In July, we have a hands on opportunity that Ron Ovitt talked to me about,that would give us a chance to provide diapers and baby food to help youngmothers in an area that was hit by riots.2. On Sept 27, we are going to have Roy Patterson, the head of the urbanministry at MBI, preach to us and we will follow that with a round tablediscussion on race relations with Roy.E. There is more that can and should be done but I think the best place to start is bycalling a black brother or sister, and calling a police officer. Just say I want tohear your heart, and then really listen to understand them and then pray for them.You do not have to have any the answers now as you are just learning.1. I called seven different black adults that come to MVC. God used these callsto do something deep in my heart and give me a better glimpse into whattheir world has been like as well as how good hearted and biblically mindedour people are! I love the story one woman told me.a) She had a white electrician at her house and he asked her what this thing“Black lives matter.” He said, “I do not get it because all lives matter!”b) She said, “White lives have always mattered here in this country butwhat they should have called themselves is “Black lives matter, too!” Ithought, “Wow that is good!”c) Black lives matter too because:(1) Every human being has been made in God’s image(2) When it comes to race, biblically there is only one race the humanrace. Then they were scattered all over the world from Babel toform the different nations of the world.(3) God’s plan in beginning was to bless every nation(4) Jesus died for the sins of the entire world.(5) The great commission sends us to every nation(6) When God’s purposes are fulfilled in the future every nation, alltribes and peoples and tongues will stand before the throne of Godand before the Lamb saying, “Salvation to our God who sits on thethrone and to the Lamb!V. Send offA. Brothers and sisters, commit yourself this week to begin to listen and learn!Whites from blacks, blacks from whites, blacks from police officers, policeofficers from blacks and let’s begin the healing at MVC.

Guess What? That’s Right! This Episode has it All!A Very Long Introduction! Non-Stop Completely Nonsense Talking! Many Random Voices! And a Very Annoying Phone Call!Don’t Believe Me? Take a ListenListen! Listen! Listen! is a show hosted by Curtis Elton. Speaking non-stop in each episode, you'd think he'd actually say something valuable. WRONG! The show has NO THEME...NO USEFUL INFORMATION...NO, NOT THAT EITHER! What it does have is Funny, Completely Random and Crazy non-stop talking lasting Only a Couple of Minutes per episode. Every episode is different! Go on, you know you want to, have a listen to Listen! Listen! Listen! New episodes Every Thursday. Stay tuned for more of Listen! Listen! Listen!TRANSCRIPT:Curtis:(On the Phone)And I was Like “Why Would you even Do That” And They were Like:“Come On! Come On! Why Would You do That?” And then I was Like:“Me?! I Thought we were Discussing you.” And (Stops Suddenly)Wait! Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait a Second! Wait! Come On! Come On! Come On!Wait a Second! Can you Just Wait?! Hold your Horses! (Horse Impression) Neigh! I Said Wait! Thank You!I’ve Been Trying to tell you that I’m Getting Another Call and I’ll have to Call you back Later Ok?! Great. Fabulous! Ok, Bubye!Hi! What do you Want? Oh it’s Recording?!Well Anyway, Lights! Camera! What’s That?! It’s a Podcast and Not a Video?! Well Anyway! (Holds “Anyway” for a Second)(In a Tune) Anyway, Anyway, Anyway, Hoo Hoo, Anyway Anyway, Way (Stops Suddenly)Sorry! I Get Distracted Sometimes! Eh Never Mind!Well Anyway Action!And as I’m Improvising, Every Action Must have a Reaction so Action!Cut!Action!Cut!Action! I Said Action!Cut! Cut!Action!Cut! I Said Cut!Action!Come On! You Know What?! Rules were Meant to be Broken so Action!(Impression of Person saying “Cut” Speaking with Mouth Covered)(Nelson Impression)Ha! Ha!(French Impression)(Kisses) Magnifique!Now let’s Finally Start this Show!Hello and Welcome back to the Show that Makes you Listen! Listen! Listen! Called ‘Listen! Listen! Listen!’ I Am Your Host, Curtis Elton and Guess What?!Yes, One of You Two!Eenie, Meenie, Minie Mo. Catch a Tiger by the Toe.Oh that Sounds Painful! Eh!Eenie, Meenie, Minie ME! That’s Right, I Pick Me!Why?! You Ask! Cause there is Nobody Else Here!So Why would I Go Eenie, Meenie, Minie Me?I Have No Idea! All I Can tell You is:Welcome to the Show! How Nice it is of You to Finally Join Us!Now What did I Have to Say?! Oh Yeah!Now if I Rewind the Tapes!(Rewind Sound Effect)How do you Control this Thing?! Oh! And Play!Guess What?! For the First Time in Not 1! Not 2! Not 4! Not 7! Not 8! Not 9! Nein! Not Heisin! But in 3 Months...I, Yes Me, Went Outside! And it was Fabulous!Now I Have Officially Discussed the 1 Thing I Wanted to Tell you This Episode!So in That Case, Thank You for Listening to Another Episode of Listen! Listen! Listen!I Have a Call to Make so Bubye to All of you! I’m Outta Here!(Phone Dial Sound Effect)(On the Phone)Hi! It’s Me Again! Where Was I? Oh Yeah!And I Was Like, “Oh My Goodness!”, and then They Came Over and They were Like “Oh My Goodness!” and Then I Said! (Stops Abruptly)Oh, What’s That? Someone’s Calling You? (Ned Flanders’s Impression) Well Okily Dokily! Bubye!

I Thought, Ooh Witches are Scary | Francesca Hogi Recovering Lawyer, Reality Show Personality, Love Coach, and Podcast Host Francesca Hogi sits down with Bex for a discussion on dabbling in witchcraft, oracle decks, signs, and listening to your intuition. Franny's latest projects and ways to support her can be found on her website, Instagram, & check out her podcast. Donate to fund and support Black Lives Matter Efforts: Tony McDade Memorial Fund James Scurlock Memorial Fund Minnesota Freedom Fund Bail Funds for Protestors Suri Music created the Tu Tía Bruja theme. Check out her website & Instagram. Kriselle Gabriel created the logo for Tu Tía Bruja. Find her on Instagram. Keep up with Tu Tía Bruja on Bex's website. This week's giveaway: A personalized candle made by Bex. Enter to win here. Support Tu Tía Bruja by donating to their Tip Jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/tu-t-a-bruja

Eric, a bboy and Hip Hop community contributor, sits down to discuss the importance of community and the creation of J.U.I.C.E. Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here: https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoysA broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.----more----[Music]this episode noise of the broke boys isbrought to you by deodorantare you a large hairy purse paradingindividual with no regard for personalhygiene you attend social gatheringswith no self awareness of your ownpersonal body odors perhaps you're adancer that rolls on the ground for funallowing various dirt grime fungi andbacteria to collect on your grotesquebody if this is a constant struggle foryou perhaps it is a good idea to applydeodorant to your body before attendingsocial events such as your best friend'swedding or a family reunion no longerwill you cause scent inflicted faintingof others at the club you'll finally befree from causing your peers tospontaneously vomit at the first whiffof you get ready to make other dancersjealous of your new hygienic upgradeyattaman should not be used in lieu ofdaily bathing activities and othernecessary hygienic events do not use theordinary soap supplement or adjusted forrespiratory disease treatment and now onto the show in today's episode I sitdown with a b-boy I met when I moved tothe LA area about a year ago he is thepresident of juice an organization whoseaim is to support the local Los Angeleship-hop sceneI really respect the work they do pleaseenjoy this episode as I get to knowb-boy Eric hello everybody and welcometo the terrible trashcan talk show I amyour host Kurt rock ski and today I havea special guest his name is b-boy Ericjust you know government name he is thepresident of juice what's up man heyhow's it going thanks for having me yeahI'm glad you could comewhat I want to ask you because I don'tactually know what juice stands for butI like I just you know show up to youguys as practice and stuff and use yourfloor and everything so can you can youtalk to me a little bit about like whatjuices yeah so juice is an acronym Ialways tell people you know think aboutorange juice and theynever forget so say he's juice hip-hopand they go okay I remember looked thatup yeahbut juice is an acronym stands forjustice by uniting in creative energy soJu I see I'll say one more time it'sjustice by uniting and creative energyby uniting creative energy yeahinteresting okay yeah okay I think thatmakes sense yeah it's like yeah it'slike justice that's tight okay so thenum where are you the one who started itI know you're the president now but wereyou the one who started it or was it agroup collective or like how did thatactually fall into your lap yeah sothere's an interesting history of juicejuice has been around in Los Angelessince 2001 okay our founder she was amentor for incarcerated youth okay so Iwasn't the founder I kind of came inprobably earlier on in the existence ofjuice but still in this early stages butthe history of juice is that you knowwhen our founder was asking incarceratedyouth what could have made a differencein your life oh that was the bigquestion that she'd asked some of theyoung people that had made a mistake intheir life mm-hmm and just reflectingback on you know what could have made adifference they said you know you know Ireally wish I had a place that I can goto just a place that I could feel like Icould belong to yeah place that was safea place that I could feel that I wasaccepted for who I wasa place that did really interestingthings run by and for young people yeahspecifically hip hop arts not thetraditional YMCA or Boys and Girls Clubit's something that was more somethingthat I could relate to yeah and so whenasked that question you know those werethe items that our founder Don she saidyou know what if we had an organizationthat is in these underservedneighborhoodsthat could promote the free opportunityfor young people of any background tocome through to express themselvesthrough the hip-hop arts would not beamazing I mean well you know that couldmake you know life-changing things ifyou know these young people could havehad this opportunity in their life yeahso the history is over the yearsdawn formed a group of dancers to comeout and do festivals and get-togethersand this became a weekly eventeventually we ended up having a practicesession on Thursdays over on Vermont and8th Street in the Pico Union districtyou know specifically a neighborhoodthat had a lot of a lot of crime a lotof young people that you know probablydidn't have a path in their life but waseither in high school dropped out ofhigh school or was in transition betweenbeing a kid and being an adult and nothaving that path yet you know it's bestspecifically you know speaking with alot of the young people at juice theysaid you know I was a place in my lifewhere the streets were calling my nameyou know I just needed the house I needto make money you know I didn't have anoutlet but you know juice was a placethat I at least I can go to so we wereover on 8th in Vermont for a handful ofyears over time we moved to a coupledifferent locations and finally we endedup over at McArthur Parkstill in the same neighborhood at PicoUnion in the West Lake District and youknow we've been there since 2011 mmm2011 we became a 501c3 10:11 we did andwe decided to take that leap of faithand we had a fiscal partner before andsay hey let's let's go big and let'sfigure this thing out you know nothaving you know the specific road map weknew what we want to do we knew we weredoing something right we knew that therewas a need in the community and therewas just this huge following of artistsin the community that that came throughthe organization at one time in theirlives and hey you know what I metyou know my partner or I developed acraft in my in my art form because youknow there was a facilitator there thatjust kind of took me in under his wingor you know it just friendships developfrom here or you know it was the onething I could focus on in my life thatmade me feel like I could live again sowe knew were doing amazing work in thecommunity just you know in our capacityand you know our big thing was you knowlet's build a program that has you knowall the elements of hip-hop you know thethe four elements of em scene DJinggraffiti art and breaking and had thatall under one roof and and be able tohave a hip-hop collective where you knowhey I'm a graph writer but I also wantto learn how to be boy yes or you knowI'm a beat maker but I also you know Ilove I love graffiti art you know acrossyou know or I just I wanna learn how toDJ you know I've always seen these DJ'sout there so you know we were able tocreate an organization where we haddifferent facilitators that had aspecialty in their craft where theprogramming was it was unlike atraditional class or workshop programbut the idea was you know we wanted tocreate an organization that really kepttrue to the hip-hop arts where it wasjust really pure to peer teaching mm-hmmI think that was the key thing is iswhen you're able to work with youngpeople that feel the world is againstyou or just really not sure of places orpeople you know the best way to learnand the best way to develop friendshipsis really through that natural organicpeer-to-peer mentoring and where youknow doesn't matter where you come fromor where I came from you know we allcome from different backgrounds but wesee each other as friends as artists mmmand we're able to mentor each other ondifferent capacities you know it's it'syou know I always talk about you knowJuice is a place where you find peoplefrom all different backgrounds know somehave been educated and you know amazingIvy League schools or have amazingprofessions and some are just haven'teven finished high school but when wecome together it'swe share in this mentor of each otherand no one has seen as better than oneanother but we're all seeing each otheras friends and peers and I don't think Iwould have ever met the unique peoplethat I would have met unless it was forjuice because I just I would have neveryou know I think when we we get older wekind of have our own community andgroups that we connect with and so youknow for me you know my profession myday job you know I work in the city ofCalabasas you know a nicer neighborhoodyeah I work in commercial real estateand I deal with a lot of individualsthat are you know very savvy have beenvery well-off financially and then Itravel to downtown LA or the mid area ofLos Angeles and I and I and I connectwith people my age and older but stillyou know may be of a differentbackground but we connect on thisamazing level where I just I'm able toconnect and just feel a human again andand and live through these arts sothat's kind of the synopsis of juice isjust this community space where artistscome to it's free so anybody can kind ofcome through and find their own thingthere I've seen individuals that justcome just you know they see the b-boysand b-girls breaking in they just theyjust want to sit down and write andwatch and get inspired and you know Iget to know them and they'll go I didn'tknow you're amazing you know musician inthe Vocal Arts or something like thatya know I think it's important todevelop like a sense of community amongcreatives I mean I would say that a lotof times you know artists would maybethey I think it comes down to you knowpublic schools now don't really stressthe importance of creative arts and sosomeone who innately has this creativetendency in their life is somewhat likeshunned a little bit I think likesometimes they don't fit into school somuch and so that might you know go intohow widethey're you know feeling left outand so they don't have a community intheir typical day-to-day life and soit's important to find that communitybut you know I think once there see oncethey're seeing this they're like ohthere's so many people that are likethis and there they come from alldifferent walks of life and so I thinkthat it's it's such a great thing thatyou guys are doing this because it's ayeah it's a it's a great thing that isneeded in the community because I thinkit it's not it's not inherently in ourpublic school system and just in oursociety in general yeah you know it's Iover the years I've gotten to know a lotof young people that have been throughthe program and we always talk aboutsports in schools you know schools focuson traditional sports baseballbasketballmaybe soccer football but when it comesto the creative arts you know it's oneof those things that just it's notacademic in terms of scoring it doesn'thelp bring funding to our school sothose are things that are typicallydropped right away yeah and even thetraditional sports you know not everyoneis is laid out to to be excited or evenhave that natural ability within withincertain specific sports and so you knowwhat breaking does specifically I thinkit creates an avenue in an opening doorfor individuals that may not relate tobasketball football soccer and says heyyou know what but but breaking issomething that I can actively do and Ican learn how to do and I don't have tohave this natural ability to be you knowstrong or I don't have to be super tallto become Baska player you know and Ithink it it's the one one type ofactivity that I think anybody can beinvolved in and it doesn't cost youanything yeah and I think that's thegreatest thing it's you don't have tobuy uniforms you don't have to be partof a program that costs funds it's justyou know if you have space you have adesire you could do it wherever you wantya know that's what drove me to itbefore I was big into like martial artsand stuff and I just felt this likedisconnect between me and like a lot ofthe things the activities I was doingbecause it was always like oh you needto do it this way and this and I waslike I just want to do whatever the heckI want and so in a way I was like ab-boy before I even knew it breaking wasand once I stumbled upon breaking I waslike oh it's okay to do whatever thehell you want like it's encouraged infact if you're not doing thatit's discouraged you're you're a biterright so I was like man this is what Iwant to do this is like so fun it's youknow I love it because it's like anactive thing to do it's it keeps you inshape but you know it's encouraged tojust explore like different movementsand you can kind of make whatever youwant into something cool it's it's likeit's like taking you know a canvas andpainting and you just kind of turn itinto whatever you want that's how I lookat it and I had been a you know painterbasically my whole life before cominginto Breaking and so um it was like anatural thing for me to get into I meanobviously I needed to learn moves andstuff I needed to understand the colorpalette is what I could call it thecolor palette the techniques of how tohow to perform the dance but once Iunderstood that is like okay let me justput these pieces together in whateverway I can conceive of in my mind and Idon't know in its encouraged to do thatso I found that this is like what I wantto do this is I was like I say that Iwas like destined to be a b-boy you knowmy whole life really even though Ididn't know what breaking was until Iwas probably like 13 or something youknow so I think a lot of people probablyfeel the same way and a lot of peoplethat probably don't know what breakingis right now and so I I want to get themessage out to them that there is thiscommunity and I think that that's likethe mission statement of like juiceright and that you want to get thisthing out there so that people can cometo the community explore their differenttalents their different things buildtalents and you know ultimately becomepart of the hip-hop communityand do art together with us yeah I havean interesting story because I wasn't Iguess I wasn't I guess I wasn'tintroduced to hip-hop till much later onyeah I knew of hip-hop and you know Ilistened to hip-hop music mm-hmm but Ithink you know it didn't come till muchlater in my life where I reallyunderstood the true culture of hip-hopgoing back where I came from I I was agymnast growing up oh niceand so started when I was really youngdid it through college and my lastcompetition I was done oh I mean since Iwas probably five years old yeah Iworked out you know maybe five to sixdays a week three to four hours a daycompeted you know every other weekendand then one day it just it was I wasdone there was nothing left for me Ididn't have a desire to compete you knowany further I wasn't I wasn't at thatlevel either where I could go hey youknow is I could be in the top ten theUnited States I was you know I was I wasokay for where I was and and I had agood time doing it and I took a hiatusyou know I didn't even just stopped andI still kept in shape after I finishedschool I I moved to Japanmmm and I lived in Japan for about ayear and a half I always knew aboutbreaking but you know and I and Ibecause I was able to do some of themoves in gymnastics I saw you know breakdancers that time going oh hey that's athat's a that's a Thomas flare or that'sa team player and I was like yeah I wasdoing that when I was like six years oldyou know that's and so you know that wasthat came really natural to me I waslike get on my hands and I can do youknow an aerial flip you know that wassomething that I go yeah it's kind of inmy my bag of tricks you know so when Iwas in Japan I went to a universitythere had a relative that allowed me tokind of enter into a university justkind of as a spectator and okayit was really cool I stay there forabout almost half yearand I met this young man who was doing astyle of dance called tutting yeah infront of a glass mirror at theUniversity and I just went up to say heyyou know that's really cool yeah my nameis Eric and sure enough we just kind ofhit it off and he's like yeah I alsob-boy I am and so hey won't you comepractice with us yeah so he introducedme to his crew in Japan called chitinninja oh yeah yeah and then all of asudden you know this thing that I waspracticing since I was a fire his oldgymnastics all a sudden startedtransforming to a street dance and thenthat street dance became breaking yeahand then I started to go wow this isreally cool you know and and I just Ithink more so was just the need in thefeeling of being able to have a group tobe around and in just being able toexpress you know something that's verynatural in me in movement you knowgymnastics without perfection straightlegs and plenty of toes and eventuallyyou know it allowed me to just to go heywhat if I just bend my right knee andflex my front foot and just do somethingfunky you know and creating your ownpersonality through it but you know Ialready had that skill set at that ageand I was like you know this is reallycool but what I really learned is aboutcommunity and I think it was about thecrew aspect because I'd never had thatit reminded me about how I had a teamwhen I was in gymnastics and about someof the close relationships that I haveand it just allowed me to go how thiswould it feels like to be a crew andjust to share in and just yourexperiences with each otherpractice hard with each other eat witheach othershare stories with each other and justbe there for each other I felt that wasthat was kind of the opening up of whathip-hop culture was really all aboutyeah it's about that community and thatneed for belonging and just aboutsharing in your life so eventually youknow I startedaccessing learning about breaking andjust some of the basic fundamentals butyou know I was like I was always doingjust doing power moves I mean I didn'tlearn about the basic fundamental stepsoh thank godyou know what I was gonna do this nowand then see where it takes me but I wasreally into and eventually I came backto the United States and I was just kindof more aware about what you know Ilearned in Japan and they go gosh thismust exist here somewhere yeah yeah soone day you didn't even know you know soI was just you know cuz I didn't Iwasn't exposed to breaking I was exposedto a lot of hip-hop growing up and thenone day I was over at work and I heardthis girl talk about this place that isjust an open session yeah a lot ofreally dope b-boys and b-girls go dothey have an awesome MC program live DJthey have graffiti art walls I'm likewhoa so I just went up to her and sayhey I overheard you talking about thisplace can you tell me about it I'mreally interested it's just like yeahjust come follow me it's in LA yeah Iwas like okay and remind you so I grewup in the valley I was super suburbia Ohand I and I was living I think on thattime on the west side of Los Angeles soI was like oh la it's kind of dangerousout there isn't it yeah like I don'tknow you know um so I remember going outthere I was like where are we in LA cuzI never went to a Laker I've alwaysthought it was like a dangerous placeyeah I mean that's how sheltered I wasI'm growing up but you know sure enoughit was it was in it was in the heart ofLA and the minute I walked into juicethat one day I mean I felt this amazingfeeling over going wow there's so muchenergy here there's so many amazingtalented artists here and it's free andI just I was kind of in awe and I just Iwas just watching everybody collaboratetogether just people talking going wowthis is a place I really need to be atyeah that was my first experience and Ithink I sat down for the first 30minutes just watching cuz I was justlike wow there's just so much amazingthings going on here that's tight yaknow I I guess I probably have a similarexperience walking into one of the firstjams I've ever been to when I wasprobably 13right 14 13 14 I walked in and it's justlike all these people are just dancingbattling and I was like whoa okay atthat time I was like a skateboarder andyou know I was aware of like whatbraking was I could do a few moves orwhatever but I'd never been to an eventbefore and so I go in and I just seethese like top level guys but I didn'tknow who they were at that time but andI see them actually Rob Zilla was theirstuntman was their Cujo was there and Iwas like oh my god who's this guy justlike literally flying on his hands andand you know come to know it later it'slike oh that was Cujo yeah it just likeblew my mind to see that and thatthere's this huge community of you knowof b-boys because before that it waslike oh it's just some high schoolersthat get together in the lunchroom youknow at my high school cuz the janitorsaid we could be there until he comes inthere basically and so that's that thatwas breaking to me before that momentand so yeah it like hit me it hit melike a brick going oh there's this ismore than like what I'm what I thoughtit was you know it's more than justfreaking rolling around on the floorthis is like this is a real movement soyeah that's that's that's tightyeah was interesting you mentioned someof those names uh-huh stop man Rob Sillagood Joe because they've been aroundjuice since the very inception oh yeahand they they were actually very muchinstrumental and bringing together theorganization and the b-boy communitymm-hmm and so you know it's just amazinghow many b-boys and b-girls have beenthrough juice at one time in their lifeand have come through the doors you knowI always hear so many internationalvisitors come we go hey we heard aboutthis place in LA yeah and you have sucha long history of alleys you know b-boyswe used to watch on VHS tapes and noware on YouTube but this has been like aniconic spot where people have comethrough at least one time in their lifemm-hmm and so it's really cool to hearyou know how individuals from like JapanGermanyjust you know they'd say hey we're herewe want to take a picture of thisyou know Amazings yeah or a lot ofhistory has come from yeah yes is itreally it's always really encouraging tohear something like that yeah no I knewabout juice before I moved to LA I meanI had I probably known about it for along time I didn't know exactly what itwas but um it was like there was alwayslike a buzz around like what you knowwhat this is there's this thing out inLA and I had I only moved out here likemaybe less than six months ago and so Ihad no idea you know what I guess howdeep it was and so once I got here I waslike oh it's this is uh this is like areal like thing I thought it was justlike a dance studio or something youknow what I mean that had been aroundfor awhile but no this is like this isthis you guys have a whole freakinmission that you're trying to accomplishI mean you are accomplishing and so yeahit was just amazing to see that so thatand that's why I wanted to talk to youtoday so yeah um so you said you were inJapan about what age were you when youwere in Japan I was about 23 okay23 years old and so that's when youfirst got into breaking I thinkseriously okay taking it more seriouslyjust really training because before thatI mean you know I go to a party and Iwas like oh there's a circle here let meshow them how to do flares oh yeah yeahyou know so I kind of knew of did you dothe gymnast start where you're like yesI tried no I cuz I saw like I go thatlooks really corny if I'd you know do itlike like that I know you should havedone it you should have put on a wholeyeah and then just do it yeahbut but I would you know I would I wouldremember you know going to these likeevents where like you know a circlealways forms right and then you get homeyou know people going in there and doinga lot of like footwork and then all of asudden I go in there and you know atthat time of my life I was I was prettygood at gymnastics I was really in goodshape and soI was just doing like t flares yeah likeand then I was like super easy then I godried into like these flares where youknow it looked like gymnastics well Igot a funny story so the first time Icame to juice and I started to I startedget down and you know I started doingthese flares yeah there's a b-boy comesup to me and says gymnastics gymnasticshe knew right away because he goes youknow the way I did was like it was justyou know I was almost a splits - enginelike yeah like his flares were likepointed toes yeah you know and I wasable to do it in Reverse ways where elselike doing flares and spinning the otherway and yeah he pointed out right awayhe goesgymnastics so I always remember that andso yeah kind of go I go oh gosh it isthat obvious that's when you do abackflip and just do this yes yeah yeahthat's what I would have done but Ican't do that so but no yeah if I was ifI was a gymnast I would have totallyjust embraced it and been like most formperfect flares and then go yes and boomand you don't rip off your hoodie youguys it's hard underneath I don't know Ilike to mess around with stuff like thatbut that's tight so um so I guess whatage do you think you started breakingthen I like I think it was always partof me like gymnastics and they're likeshowcasing I always like to perform Ithink that was the aspect of somethingyeah and part of my lives were destinedto be a B so I would say seriouslyprobably around 23 24 I mean I didn'teven know what his sick stuff was I waslike yeah I just thought people ranaround like with I go oh there's anactual fundamental way to do this yeahyeah yeah and so I was like cuz I usedto pretend like you know just go oh Igot this you know and then you'rerunning around yeah and so it's funnynow because I a lot of young kids yeahand you know they always see what peopleare doing but they just run around withherand feet and thinking that's exactlywhat everyone else to do which is trueto a certain extent but I think you knowyou start to break it down you okaythere's an actual there's a formula tothis and there's usual hand-feetmovement that you know everyone learnsfrom mm-hmm yeah and I mean the bits andit's so deep - I mean there's like everylittle position you're putting your handand your foot is like a different movealmost I mean I have a whole thing aboutmy perspective of Fork but we don't haveto talk about that but so breaking soyou you always felt like you were kindof destined to be a b-boy you're a b-boyand a gymnast body I'd suppose and soyou came into it and you already had thearsenal as if you had been breaking yourentire life and just forgot to dofootwork or something yeah I gotta behonest I I didn't learn footwork tillmuch later on and then you know as youget older you know I think the powermoves become a little more difficultbecause it hurts your elbows or yourshoulders your wrists and so I mean forme like I even stopped doing playerslike five six years ago just because itwas just every time I did it I just ithurt my body a lot and so what I startedto do a little bit more was focus onstyle and just almost fundamentals andgo in the reverse way where I'm goingbackwards where I'm going all right Ican do these things that that you know Ican condition my body to not do so muchI guess power moves but I can go more tostyle and try to do what I can do withinmy age and and still feel healthyafterwards yeah yeah I mean I thinkthat's what's so great about breaking islike there's just it's such a branchingthing I mean there's so much I mean lookas someone outside looking in they'reprobably like I don't understand thisbut like when you go into it it's likeman there's so many things to learn thatthere's no way you're gonna learn it allin the your lifetime as a b-boy and so -taking pieces of everything and you canjust mix it in whatever way you want Ithat that is like so cool you know youryour style kind of develops as you agebecause of it like develops around whatyou're capable of in a way you know Imean like for me I started out doing alot of footwork then I started doingpower moves then I started injuringmyself and I stopped doing powerfulmoves and just started doing otherthings I started freestyling a lot moredoing more top rocks and you know otherlike flowy type of moveslots of transitions and stuff and then Idon't know now I'm where I'm at kind oflike dude like I can do moves but it'slike oh there's a risk to it I mighthurt myself so yeah one thing I loveabout breaking is is you know it's justthe the free flow of creativity I thinkcreativity comes from differentinspirations in your life mm-hmm andmaybe what you do outside of practice orthings that you see and I get a lot ofinspiration by watching other styles ofdance yeah and I love just you knowhouse dance or just different movementsand go wow that's really cool what if Iyou know you know create that movementin my top rocks and just be a little bitmore funky you know and yeah and I lovethat aspect of just being unique andjust developing your own style throughwhatever inspires you in lifeyeah I always got inspired by those oldlike corny kung fu movies that for somereason they were just so cool to seelike someone whooping the other dudesass and then he just like sits in somecrazy fries and he just you know hismouth moves and then it says somethingelse buddy oh dude my style is betterthan yours I always thought that thatwas the dopest thing ever and they wouldyou know I used to watch this one moviecalled the Buddhist fist a long time agoand this dude would just jump into thecraziest freezes and I was like dudethis guy's a b-boy like for reals he'sjust hitting I remember he hit thiscrazy like chair freeze on his elbow andhe's just pointing at the guy and he'sjust like talking shit like oh dudethat's loveand then you know he obviously gets upand whupped his ass or whatever but Ialways like that because it was just socorny but so dope yeah totallybut yeah the movement is so is so coolbut yeah just getting the inspirationanywhere I mean is is encouraged inbreaking in I think that that's theoverall I don't know message to be saidand and and why it resonates with me somuch and resonates with a lot of peopleyeah yeah so outside of hip-hop do youhave any other creative endeavors orhobbies in your life yeah so it soundsfunny but there's a couple things I liketo do one of them is scene karaoke mybrother are hell in the car I mean likewe're I'm not we're not good singers butdo you don't doubt yeah so that's one ofmy how would you say was one of mypassions I have a a singing group that Igo to every Wednesday oh dang so you'relegit and so we do karaoke everyWednesday and so I've been doing thisfor the last you know five or six yearsstraightthat's tight so I really enjoy thataspect of being creative but you knowsinging renditions of songs and in myown way what's your favorite song thisthing oh man you know that's a greatquestion I don't have oneyeah I would say you know all depends onthe crowd of like what type of musicthey like it okay and maybe that wouldbe like the song genre I would choosejust you know if if there was like awhole crowd of b-boys of what would youpick oh man it wouldn't be it wouldn'tbe a pop love song that's for suremaybe like a Bruno Mars song okay yeahjust something that has a little bitmore funk to it that what people can getinto and likeor whatever yeah 24-karat you know yeahyeah yeah just something that's likegroovy funky you know that people canall go yeah let's get down to the Hatokay so what about if it was like a likea senior citizen home yeah a seniorcitizen home well a funny thing youmentioned senior citizen home so one ofmy good friends right now what he'sdoing is he's going to different seniorcitizen homes and he's sitting upkaraoke at dude before that so andbecause it does a lot of things it helpsstimulate the mindyeah and whether they sing well or notit's it's the matter of readingsomething on television keeping you upand it justthey reflect on the past and I think youknow memory is a big thing with with youknow older folks and so there'ssomething there's something there's areally deep connection between singingthat stimulates the mind but also beingwith a read and do a little thing so theinteresting thing was I went to a seniorcitizen home and to join them in karaokenight yeahso they most of them probably won'trecognize you know anything that'sprobably from the 90s and on yeah unlessand they're like oh do you know likeDean Martin or something really old soone of the songs I sang just because Idon't really know a whole lot of reallyold songs I mean I seen a lot of Beatlessongs too but okay you know maybe somelike the Rascal Flatts like life is ahighway that just kind of is they maynot recognize it but the melody is kindof cool so they go they start to likeyou know maybe even dance to it a littlebit yeah yeah yeah that's tight so areyou like a pretty good singer in my mindI'm a pretty good singer but to otherpeople I'm probably just mediocre okayI've always wanted to learn to sing likeI've I've recently got pretty into likemusic production and I've like in mymind I've always been like oh I want tosing over these but I don't know I don'tknow how to sing I mean I kick I canfake it I do I mean me and my brotherwould always do karaoke and we we don'tdo it too often anymore but we used todo it literally like every week we wouldgo to this this Japanese restaurant inSacramento and we were just we would bethe only people doing it too and we werejust freaking take over the restaurantjust singingI don't know we would always sing likewelcome to the junglethose are tough songs yeah and those arereally hard hard songs to sing so I meanwe sucked at it so but um what was theother song I'd singI believe in a thing called love by thedark the darkness okay yeah that songwas all we were all about that one umyeah I don't know we tons of BackstreetBoys songs a shit those are classics youknow everyone knows some too so I was inJapan going back to that time period andI remember you know I would be new tothe location the area I didn't have anyfriends at that point I just knew youknow we have our days off you know fromwork because I taught English in Japanso you're doing like a jet program itwas it was a private school program okayand so on my days off you know like okayyou know what should I do there's allthese karaoke places all over the placebut I was like all right how does thisworkyeah I'm just gonna enter it so one dayI decided to go let me just check it outyou know and so I get there and it'slike yeah I like to sing karaoke this islike my broken English I make the brokenJapanese yeah and like one yeah just meshe's like I think they asked me likethree or four times like one just oneare you crazyand so I said yeah just me is that okayso and they did it by time so I rememberI would like jam you know like becausehe charged by hour so I invited her youknow and you have to order a drink -that's like their minimum oh okay so Iwould like pack and you know as manysongs like in and then do that and so Iremember going back to the class becauseI used to teach adults English hmm andwe were talking about karaoke and inthis one Japanese student of mine she'slike you know seeing karaoke by yourselfis like going to Disneyland by yourselfand running all the rides by yourselfthat's how weird it might be but I wasso into it I mean I loved it and I lovedbeing part of like a group sing karaokethat's a burnshe burned you pretty hook you know andthat's I guess it just kind of it waspart of something that I'd love to do isZ and I don't even know how to sing welllike I think in my mind I can sing okaybut in terms of seeing lessons and howto really resonate your voice and how todo it properly you know it's all beenself taught just like kind of somewhatlike breaking is but you know it's allbeen self talk you never took any voicelessons or anything never took anythingI've always thought about taking it Ijust don't have the time right now but Ithink eventually I'll probably do itjust cuz it's always been something Iwanted to learn right when I was youngerwe would go to my mom had us in likewhat is it called Sunday school and sowe would always we'd have to be a partof like a choir there so at a young agewe were learning how to sing you knowprobably through elementary school orwhatever and then you know and then Istopped doing that and but it always wasyou know I guess the little bit ofsinging lessons I had when I was youngerthrough that is it's really the onlything I've had but sometimes I'll watchlike youtube videos about how to likeuse your lungs better your diaphragmbetter I'm not a good singer though butit's something I definitely want to getgood at hey well you know what we got aset date and just bang it out you knowwhenever my brother has like a party athis house he has a little what's itcalled Magic Mike uh-huh and we justlike go off on it yeah so so I set up atmy placeuh-huh kind of this I have two Mike's ofa mixer and I have a karaoke programthat has tons of songs I just kind of gothrough that's things so I remembergoing to it was a juice offend we justall got together a lot of the staff andthe friends came by and my friend who'sa DJ yesyou're like because I brought the wholesystem over I brought my PA system themics the stands he's all like you'relike a DJ for care yeah because I waskind of likeall right next Sangha you know who is ondeck you know that's tight yeah dude Ialways was curious all right I alwayshad this weird idea that to do karaokeat a jam like while people are battlingjust have a deed I don't know how Iwould quite work but like you're playingmusic and then someone's up there justsinging like this song I don't know howit work quite like I always thought thatthat'd be so dope to make that happen itwould like totally lighten up the mood Ithink of a jam and that's I'm all aboutthat kind of thing yeah I I thinkbreaking away from the traditionalstructures that'll be interesting youknow one aspect about jams I love is youknow live music I mean gosh just havinglive music is so different it's so coolI remember going to one of Jeff's killsevents and it was awesome this had afull-on live band just going off youknow for a handful of songs and you knowit was just really cool just have thataspect of it like it was a concert yeahit feels like it and it you know andthey're just like a lot of times I sawit would be like the DJ is playing theirmusic and then this live band would justjump on and just put a bass line orwhatever you know and I always thoughtthat was tight they'd hit the drums andstuff they yeah kind of play along withit yeah we did a couple of jams over atthe park where we brought in drumsetsaxophone and we had two DJ's justspinning at the same time and usingother instruments along yeah it justreally created a different vibe and Ithought was really cool yeah yeah itcreates a concert vibe and it's it's notit's not even like you had an entireband or like you know they they had likea whole set that they were doing it wasjust some guys just playing you knowplaying to a song that's already existedthis is probably how they practice to behonest and so they were just like heyI'm down with this doo doo doo doo dooyou know playing that junk and theneverybody loves it so I I actually met afew drummers recently and I was like ehis this the kind of is this like how youpractice because this is like somethingthat b-boylove you know b-boys and b-girls loveand so if you ever wanted to just go toa jam or something or a practice evenand just jam out like it would bedefinitely yeah I I would invite thattoo to just like you know let's justspring out some congas and just havesome beats and just just freestyle itand just you know bringing other friendsjust want to have really cool rhythmsand just jam out to itbecause I love the diversity ofdifferent types of music as long as ithas like consistent beat that people areinto what's your favorite style of musicactually so what I listen to I listen tothe top 40 music oh you do okay I doalright and I think some of that comesbecause you know when I start to singkaraoke oh yeah that those are the songsI go okay those are kind of popular nowbut there's certain songs I go I reallylike that type of song yeah it's itdoesn't have to be all male singers tolike there there there there are TaylorSwift songs there's Halsey songs thatI'm into that I go okay that really hasa really cool melody and a beat I'mgonna sing the guy version of it okayyou know and a different key yeah but Ilisten top 40 but then you know when Iwhen I break and so forth I mean and Ican't listen to just the remixes and yesI'm a you know great funk and R&B thatjust is out there when when when anybodyasks me that question I always have ahard time answering it because I I canliterally find a song in any genre thatI like you know and so I mean maybe theanswer to the question is like whichJohn are do I find the most songs butthere's some John Rose I just haven'tyou know dug so deep into but I just Ijust love music like you know all hereI'll hear something weird that I'venever heard before and I'll go like okayI don't quite understand this yet butlet me give it a try and I you knowsometimes I'll get into it I'll go likeoh okay I see what they're trying to dobecause it's not it's not always justabout a lot I mean a lot of time there'sthey're trying todo something different musically andit's maybe just not understood at thattime because it's so different and Imean it's just it's fun to like breakdown what they were creatively doing intheir music yeah so and that that's whatI think is so fun about music and why somany different styles of music likeresonate with me and so yeah I like tolisten to some of the weird likeexperimental stuff that like doesn'teven have like a you know a steady beator anything because even that stuff yougood like you you want to break downlike what the heck is going on and it'slike it's so cool like once you startfiguring it out yeah and I think gettingmore into music production has helped mekind of break down music a lot betterinto so but yeah I don't know I you knowwhen I was younger I was really intolike rock music alternative you knowlike Nirvana the Third Eye Blind guysmmmthings like that Rage Against theMachine I was really into and then lateron I started getting more into hip-hopthat got more into like soul music funkmusic and stuff namely from breakingjazz music got a little bit into likecountry music recently I've been intolike mumble rap actually okay yeah a lotof people have like a kind of weirddisdain for it which at first when Iwhen I first heard I was like oh what isthis stuff and I kind of gave it a tryfor a while and then I started realizingyou know mumble rap is like thisgeneration the this generations way ofbeing like counterculture you know I'vetalked to a lot of people about thisactually on this podcast but hip-hop hasalways been like a somewhatcounterculture thing they want to dothen something new that no one else hasdone and like I really feel like that'swhat the mumble rap scene was all aboutwas like let's make music but we're nottrying to copy what these guys didbefore us let's do something new youknow much like punk how punk music theywould scream and you know kind of have ainaudible like noise almost I feel likethat's what momis doing and I've always liked punkmusic and so when I when I realized thatconnection to counterculture and likethem doing something different I reallygained like a huge respect I guess forit and I don't know yeah I think hip-hopis is very much you know that outletit's that it's that counterculture it'sit's creating something you always sayfrom nothing but you know it's reallyyou know having having that creativenesswith what you have yeah you know and andI think it's just it's a really uniqueway of expression you know I look backas to the evolution of hip-hop becauseyou know hip-hop culture has beenchanging over the years and I think itchanges I think as we come to the newage is what's what people you know gothrough in their lives kind of reflectthe outcome of how they express himselfyou know I think a lot of times peoplehave hip-hop and the culture kind ofconfused in some sense especially ifyou're not really involved in thecommunity to see what it's all about youknow that was one of the topics ofdiscussion is you know what is hip-hopright and I think people always go wellyou know hip-hop is is rap music yeahit's a style of dance yeah and I thinkthere's some type of you know disconnectbetween what is what is authentichip-hop you know so people go what iship-hop and what every time I and Iexplain hip hop to others that may nothave been involved in the culture righttell them it's about it's aboutcommunity it's about respect and loveit's about bringing you know positivityto to the worldit's about belonging family and andthese are all the the items that kind ofform what we call hip-hop today and soyou know what we try to do over at juiceis to kind of keep those core valuesabout having respect for everyone youknow it doesn't matter your backgroundand your race your color your talentanything you know everybody is welcomein hip-hop yeah and you know that's oneof the things that you know we prideourselves just to make surethat you know we want to make sure thedoors open for everybodyyeah hip-hop to me is like a lifestyleit's a it's a culture it's a lifestyleand it's um it's not it transcends Ithink all of the the you know the fourelements the four typical elements wetalked I think it I think it's um it'sit's much more than that it's it's alifestyle it's a it's a whole cultureand it's ever-growing I wouldn't besurprised if later on we start sayingthat there's five elements of hip-hop orsix elements of hip-hop you know what Imean and I think it's just because thebubble is growing more and we're likeyou know as more people getting involvedwith it where we're actually figuringout more about like what this all whatthis all is and and so you know I thinkin the next couple years we're gonnaprobably see more and more peoplegetting involved with it namelyyou know breaking is now gonna be in theOlympics so I think it's gonna open alot of people's eyes to what we do andso I wouldn't be surprised if there's aninflux of new b-boys you know coming inand trying to learn what hip-hop is andso I think having a good definedcommunity for them to and welcomingcommunity ready for them is like reallythe best way to handle that because it'snot you know this is a welcomingcommunity and so we wanna we want tomake that apparent you know when whenthat happens I don't know I don't knowif you have anything to say about thatit's yeah I'm you know breaking breakingis always meant to evolve over time withwhatever's going on in the world orwhatever's happening in our community alot of people ask me you know what doyou think about breaking in the Olympicsyeah and you know I think it's part ofits course you know I think breaking isalways meant to evolve hmm I see a lotof great things with having breaking aspart of a larger community yeah andpeople being exposed to something that'sreally importantI think what's important is to make surethat the information about what hip-hopis and what the true culture is is alsoexplained yeah and that there's rightpeople that are able to be part of youknow getting that information out topeople that may not know a lot abouthip-hop a breaking I think that's areally important figure to make surethat you know whatever the OlympicCommittee decides to do is to make surethat there's they keep that authenticityof the culture yeah yeah I was talkingto my friend Serge yesterday actuallyabout all this and he's like he's veryadamant about portraying hip-hopcorrectly like he really wants people tounderstand there's like a lot of I guessa struggle that was you know kind ofbaked into hip-hop and that he does hewants when people come in he doesn'twant to shoo them away or anything hewants to welcome them but then also likeeducate them about what this is and thatthey're not just coming into it as youknow just for the good I guess but butunderstanding everything about it youknow the history of it and that maybethere was some bad parts of that youknow namely that there's maybe some kindof oh you know it's kind of built out ofyou know the ghetto it's built out ofpoverty it was built out of you know abasic struggle in life and to get towhere it is now and so coming into ityou got to respect that as well and sothat was that was one of the main thingshe was he he wants to portray as youknow the scene evolves so which I whichI respect I think that's a that's a goodthing to do you know to always respectlike your history but also welcome inthe evolution of it so well anywayswe're hitting about an hour right now soI think we could probably wrap this showup do you have any lessbest words anything else I know wedidn't really talk about like a crewaffiliation or anything do you have acrew affiliation so I don't I don't havea crew affiliation I guess I get niceyou know there is a juice crew out therehere but oh is that yeah you gonnabattle fit yeah I mean they're prettygood but uh okay yeah I you know I Ilook at you know the evolution of alsojuice and where it has been where it'scome to and you know part of what wewant to continue to do is is build thismodel that we have is free spaces foranybody to come through to be able toexpress themselves in all areas I mean Ithink if you ask me you know what iswhat do I see in the future of juice andI go gosh I could see juice in in everycitycross country across the seas having alocation all over just a place wherepeople can come to to express themselvesutilizing the hip-hop arts as a tool forsocial change empowerment mm-hmm youknow arts education and just changingpeople's lives yeahso we're our future and our hope is tocontinue to do what we're doing continueto grow continue to build new teammembers but also establish new locationsacross you know different areas and yeahthat's what we're trying to do is is isorganically grow you know we've beenworking with the city in the county ofLos Angeles we have different locationsthat we could possibly open up but Ithink what's holding us back right nowis just the ability to staff and alsofinance some of those locations becauseit is a free program so a lot of thingsthat we do you know it's all either bydonations or individuals that reallybelieve in what we do and so you know ifwe have one of those you know wonderfulfunders one day that says hey you knowhow do we really help you guys reallytake this thing offyeah thing that could really change whatwe do and I think you know as we gettowards you know more popularity withthe Olympics and just the media and soforth you know our hope is to be able toalso maybe even ride thata little bit and you know grow what wedo yeah I would imagine there's probablya lot of opportunity for grants outthere I mean there already is but Ithink maybe as there's more popularitythere's there's probably more willing ofthe you know of these organizations andthe government to you know give you guysgrants to do what you do especially ifyou have a well-defined message and planyou know to execute it so I think youknow my mother she's a in art she's anartist in it and a teacher and so shewas doing a lot of similar kind of workin Sacramento where she was gettinggrants to do these well it was like it'slike a it's like a program it's ahealing program through art is I guessthe best way to describe it it's whereshe was she had um women who were youknow subject to abuse or whatever andthey came in did artwork to kind of likeas a therapy and so she was the teacherand organizer the director I don't knowall that stuff so she was doing all thegrant writing and everything to put thisprogram on and so she did that for avery very long time now now she'sretired but okay she still kind ofteaches a little bit but um but yeah Iimagine I mean cuz there's a need for itand so it's it's I imagine that there'stons of grasses right now what we'redoing is collaborating with largerorganizations yeah so we're gonna beworking with LAUSD and after-schoolenrichment programs we're finishing upour contract with them and we have aschool that we're specifically gonna dofree braking programs yeah and thenwe're gonna work with anotherorganization in the location that we'rewith that's already you know a prettywell-known youth organization andincorporating something hip and coolinto their program for some of theiryouth mm-hmm and then you know one ofthe other ideas that we're doing rightnow that we're working towards isopening up another location for juice onSaturday at the same time that we haveour program and being able to teach kidsand families specifically new tobreaking oh cool and so we have alocation already determined for thatand once again it's about staffing andI'm probably gonna end up doing thatportion of just kind of going with itand just seeing where it leads us yeahlike everything you know we try thingsand sometimes we learn from them and weget better at it yeah yeah well I thinkthat you're doing some amazing work andyou know I'm glad to hear that it'sgrowing and that you have big plans forthe future so stay tuned and I'd love tohave you back if you ever have time tocome and talk to more stuff do somekaraoke yeah dope dude so do you haveany like social media to shout out orwhatever I don't know yeah so you canfollow us on a juice hip-hop I would saylike orange juice so juice and hip hopthat's our that's our or handle so comefollow us yeah we're over at MacArthurPark every Saturday from 12:00 to 4:00and then cell is our Park in East LA onFridays from 6 to 8 p.m. free foreverybody free for everybody even meyeah dope cool thank you for for comingon dude this has been a great time Ithink this was a great episode I'mreally happy that you were able to comeand thank you guys for listeningall you zero listeners though sorry theshow sucks[Music][Music]you[Music] 

If you listened to the last about the most popular (and overlooked) Bible commentary of the 1990s, you may recall what I THOUGHT was the most popular commentary of 1990s… Well, in this episode, I have to eat a little crow. Because as it turns out, what I thought was the most popular Bible commentary of the ’90s **doesn’t even come close** to the one I’m going to talk about in this episode.

I stopped drinking alcohol ninety days ago. There was no intervention, epiphany, or rock bottom. The reason why I stopped drinking is simple: I got a cold. The medicine I was taking, DayQuil/NightQuil, recommends that you not drink alcohol while taking it.  So I stopped. I have been a night drinker, mostly. Two drinks in the evening (usually whiskey, tequila, or beer), over the course of a couple of hours, while watching television or out with friends. Rarely, would I get drunk; maybe on a Friday night when I had a few more drinks than usual while playing video games with my friends. I was totally functional.  Alcohol wasn't interfering with my life.  Except I knew this wasn't true.  For a period of time before I stopped, I had been questioning my drinking habits. Was I drinking too much? Too frequently? How long had it been since I had gone more than a day or two without a drink? Deep inside, I could FEEL something was wrong with my drinking. I also knew something wasn't right with me emotionally. For the last ten months or so prior to quitting drinking, I had been a mess. My generalized anxiety was eating me alive with a constant barrage of jealousy, fear, anger, sadness, and aggression. Alcohol helped quiet these feelings for a few blissful hours at a time, until I fell asleep. As the sun rose with each dawn, so did my anxiety. I was trapped in a destructive, worsening cycle of lows and highs, with peaks getting lower, the valleys deeper. So, when I got sick and needed medicine, I made a decision to stop drinking.  It was that simple.  Physically, stopping drinking wasn't too hard. I didn't have withdrawal symptoms or what I would describe as cravings. In the first couple of days, I THOUGHT about alcohol a lot. Images of myself going through my nightly drinking rituals would pop into my mind throughout the day, and, just as suddenly, exit. With time, these mental “Hello! Goodbye!”  intrusions diminished, and then stopped. So did the pathological anxiety that was ripping me apart from the inside. Within two weeks, the intense cycling of extreme emotions I had been experiencing for almost a year stopped. I felt stable again. In control. Like I had been returned to myself. This psychological healing I experienced is the closest thing to a sense of divine intervention I have experienced.  Of course, as an atheist, I don't believe in God. With the help of the book, “This Naked Mind,” written by Annie Grace, I understand why I got better when I stopped drinking. Alcohol had my thoughts and emotions on a neurochemical rollercoaster of ups and downs that distorted my perception of the world and myself.  To extend the amusement park metaphor, I was living in an alcohol mirror maze that warped everything passing through it, including and especially, myself. On the one hand, I am ashamed that I allowed this  to happen to me.  On the other hand, I am proud that I recognized my problem before it got worse, and did something about it.  Some are not so lucky. I'm not going to lie. Three months into this journey, I sometimes miss drinking. It's not a physical craving, more like a nagging feeling that I don't have something I should have. An absence of ritual, perhaps. Or something that everyone else can have that I can't. Of course, I know this is not true, that I'm not alone in committing to becoming a “non-drinker.” Friends and family- both drinkers and abstainers- have been incredibly supportive, for the most part. One person suggested that I was going too far giving up alcohol, that I should “just drink one day a week, on Friday.” While I appreciated the suggestion, I told them that this is exactly where I started with my drinking, and somehow, insidiously, I ended up in a much worse place, drinking daily and half-crazy from anxiety. Everyone is different.  For me, the reality is I shouldn't drink because I'm healthier when I don't.  Even though I miss drinking sometimes, there are some things I won't miss: Planning to buy alcohol. On the way home from work? Before or after the gym? Agonizing over which beer or whiskey to buy. Is it the right one? Is it strong enough? 12 oz or 16 oz cans? A regular bottle or a handle? Worrying about how long the alcohol I just bought is going to last. The money spent on drinking. I don't even want to think about this, really. Obsessively checking my glass, bottle, or can to see how much alcohol is left in it. Wondering whether or not I'm okay to drive. Getting up to pee in the middle of the night, even more than is normal for a middle-aged guy like me. Worrying about how I'm coming off to others in social situations after a few drinks. Being concerned about what my kids think about my drinking.   Ninety days. In the life of an alcohol-sober person, I'm still a baby.  I have a lifetime ahead of me, I know. In the last few weeks, a few people who are aware through my social media posts and podcast that I have stopped drinking have reached out to me for advice regarding their own relationships with alcohol. While I'm not qualified to help in a professional way, I did my best to listen and offer support in a non-judgemental manner.  I feel humbled that anyone would see me as a resource for positive change in their own life, and hope I was able to help. If you're reading or listening to this and are thinking about your own relationship with alcohol and want to talk, feel free to reach out. That's it. I hope this didn't come off as preachy or obnoxious— I just wanted to share my story with you. Be well. Now, I need to go get a drink...of tea. Green. Hot!

Arthur Peña and Jacob Hess – Can We Disagree Without Becoming Enemies?Beyond Understanding and Empathy to Collaborating and “Co-Resisting”Aired Tuesday, April 7, 2020 at 2:00 PM PST / 5:00 PM ESTInterview with Arthur Peña and Jacob Hess, Co-Authors (with Randall Charles Paul) of “Inevitable Influencers: Why (deep down) We All Want—and Need—to Persuade Each Other of What We See as Good, Beautiful, and True“Q. How do I end an argument with someone I disagree with?A. Tell them, ‘You’re absolutely right. And so am I.’”— Swami BeyondanandaA gay Marxist Spanish teacher and a Mormon mindfulness practitioner walk into a bar – and that is NOT a joke.Despite seemingly opposite backgrounds, Arthur Peña and Jacob Hess have not only become friends, but also collaborators. And they have done so by boldly speaking their truths with, and listening to, one another. At a time when people are de-platformed and “canceled” for speaking their truth and political correctness is proving itself politically incorrect, how DO we use our differences in a dynamic and transformational way? My guests this week Arthur Peña and Jacob Hess, are the co-authors along with Randall Charles Paul of an upcoming book, “Inevitable Influencers: Why (deep down) We All Want—and Need—to Persuade Each Other of What We See as Good, Beautiful, and True”. (Wow. What a title. With a title that long, who needs a book?)Truth, beauty and goodness – as Plato stated and Rudolf Steiner reiterated – are the manifest expressions of love. And while love may be universal, love’s expressions are diverse. And while there’s a part of us who want to pretend these our differences can be glossed over, in doing so we miss out on the power of genuine engagement.Here is a quote from their book introduction:Without authentic conversation across our differences— with a genuine (albeit sometimes wary) openness to mutual persuasion—we fear we’ll be missing something very profound and precious. That’s why we argue here for the importance—for the vital necessity even—of “collaborative contestation among rivals” as we sometimes like to call it.Arthur Peña is a semi-retired teacher of Spanish and English as a Second Language. He has an M.A. in linguistics from the University of Iowa, and a Certificate in Conflict Resolution from Sonoma State University. Specializing in dialogue between liberals and conservatives, Arthur is a member of the National Coalition of Dialogue & Deliberation, and has organized and facilitated public discussion forums on controversial political issues, as well as a number of ongoing local Living Room Conversations.Jacob Hess is a mindfulness teacher and writer focused on exploring long-term, sustainable healing from depression. He is on the board of the National Coalition of Dialogue & Deliberation and co-author of “You’re Not as Crazy as I Thought, But You’re Still Wrong” – and has a passion for preserving space for people to disagree sharply, while still loving and respecting each other. He has a Ph.D. in clinical-community psychology from the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. If you’re curious about how we move we can learn to disagree without becoming enemies, and shift from polite understanding and empathy to dynamic collaboration and “co-resisting”, please join us this Tuesday, April 7th 2-3 pm PT / 5-6 pm ET. http://omtimes.com/iom/shows/wiki-politiki-radio-show/To find out more about their upcoming book please go here: https://publicsquaremag.org/editorials/why-persuasion-shouldnt-be-a-dirty-word/Support Wiki Politiki — A Clear Voice In the “Bewilderness”If you LOVE what you hear, and appreciate the mission of Wiki Politiki, “put your money where your mouse is” … Join the “upwising” — join the conversation, and become a Wiki Politiki supporter: http://wikipolitiki.com/join-the-upwising/Make a contribution in any amount via PayPal (https://tinyurl.com/y8fe9dks)Go ahead, PATRONIZE me! Support Wiki Politiki monthly through Patreon!Visit the Wiki Politiki Show page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/wiki-politiki-radio-show/Connect with Steve Bhaerman at https://wakeuplaughing.com/#ArthurPeña #JacobHess #InevitableInfluencers #SteveBhaerman #WikiPolitiki

Quang Bang, a true Renaissance bboy, discusses his various interests, his infamous alias "the push Up Guy", and jokes around with a herb. Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here: https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoysA broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.----more----this episode of noise of the broke boysis brought to you by child support areyou a deadbeat parent that hates herchildren and would rather buy easy thanpay your child support or maybe youenjoy seeing your children grow up to bemutated monsters because you couldn'tafford a nutritious meal since you spenttheir child support on new rims for yourFord Focusor maybe you receive child support fromyour child's other responsible parentbut instead of buying your children warmclothes you decided to buy a grill wellI'm here to tell you you should open upfavorite Maps app on your new smartphonepurchase with your children's food moneyand locate the nearest sewer treatmentplant once located to get into your newBMW purchase with your children'sclothes money and navigate to thedestination once they are slip into yournew silk swim suit purchase with yourchildren's medicine money take a dip inthe fecal infested water and contract anincurable disease a responsibleseparated parents please remember to payyour child support in full and on timefor more information please contact yourlocal governing body and now on to theshow[Music]in today's episode I sit down with atrue renaissance man he is one of thesmartest most thought-provoking creativehardworking and hilarious individuals Iknow I met him in college as a b-boy andhave been good friends with them eversinceI can literally talk and joke with thisguy forever so please enjoy the episodewith the one and only queen bang helloeverybody welcome to the travelingtrashcan bonanza today we are meetingwith some interesting people and we'regonna try to get them to say racistthings in any evidence I see todayhandsome a gentleman a scholar a dancera breaker a published author an upperbody built a finger tug in e-commercetycoon and lastly a porn star I have thename for it he's playing bang mr. QuinnBing in the flesh so I just wanted toput this out there me and Kurt we'retalking for 45 minutes and said I forgotto press record we're doing this allover again so I hope it seems organicyeah I'm splicing terrible the terribleaudio quality if this shit sucks youknow actually when you were when youwere doing thatwhen you're when we're talking I waslike interesting that the record buttonis green and then I realize when youpressed it I was like oh I guess it'snot supposed to be green it's supposedto be red that's freaking terriblethat's a fail oh my god um anyway so Igot my friend Kwang Bing here who is avery multi-talented guy very creativeguy very motivated guy and I want to askhim a few questions but first did I missanything when I was introducing youbecause you do a lot of thingsoh yeah well day job I'm a sleazy salesperson so I swindle people out of theirmoney hmmyeah have you ever swindled me out ofhahaha the I have I well I can't thinkthat a specific example I can't I'm sureyou have um here's an interestingquestion yeah so we're both b-boys whatis your take on b-boying entering theOlympics I think it's really cool it'sis really validating because these wewere talking about this in the otherpodcast that wasn't recorded it takes alot of fucking work and then it amazesme that some people so many peopleinvest so much of their time doing thisbecause it's dangerous you don't getpaid very well and so it's like rewardthem give them something give them theOlympics but but what was your it wasyour opinion because I think youmentioned that you don't agree with youoh no no I I think okay cool I do thinkthat it well my biggest thing on it isthat for it to be in the Olympics youneed to have like a good way of judgingit right and I think right now there'snot really a good way of judging itother than I mean coz what we doessentially is line up a bunch of peoplethat have been breaking for a longperiod in their life and say these guysopinions matter point to who you thinkwon this battleyeah in the battle is like three roundsback and forth so two people doing theirmoves or whatever I I don't know thatjust to me doesn't pass the sniff testin terms ofhaving good criteria to judge on wordslike the Olympics you know or likereally anything any sport NBA combatsports there's always like some kind ofcriteria you can judge on mmm I feellike breaking there's not because saylike I'm battling you and we do we havecompletely different styles and say youkill it and I kill itneither of us flop both of us probablydo equally hard moves what happens whohow do you vote like you know reallywhat's gonna come down to this judgesays oh I like his style more so I'mgonna vote for QueenI like Curt style more I'm gonna votefor him and then you have this you knowdivided judging panel and then one of uswins and then you say well why did I winand he lose and they go I like yourstyleand that's really it and it's like Ithink when you have when the judgingsystem really breaks down when you getto that point yeah it works well on thelower tier where you got someone who'sgood and someone who's bad and the badperson is just crashing yeah it's likethat's the universal criterias if youcrash you lose right so it makes sensethere but when you get to this higherlevel it just doesn't make any senseanymore yeah it is really hard becauselike gymnasts they're like they have aroutine already so you can tell ifthey're messing up any other likeOlympic sport it's very very clear-cutbut when you're talking about dancingit's like well I don't know it's kind oflike well I like this move better well Ilike this move better and so you can'treally and whatever they're dredging islike can you really fault them forwhatever their opinion is yeah I meanyou get that all the time where you havea battle and then Rob this guy was Robthis guy was robbed and your reason wasoh well I just like the other guy yeahyeah well can you really grab yeshow do you really define it ya know Imean cuz ultimately breaking is an artform right yeah and so I guess if youlook at it if you compare it to anotherart form like painting yeah you make apainting I make a painting we're bothequally skilled artists right somejudges are coming and looking at it theymight go oh I like the wake wing usedbrushstrokes on this in on this paintingyeah and then another guy goes oh but Ilike the way Curt use color on this yeahboth of those opinions are valid Yeahrightand they might they might you know theguy that liked my color use looks maybelooks at yours and goes oh yeah hedidn't quite hit the mark for me fromcolor use and maybe the guy that'sjudging you that likes your brushstrokeslooks at me and goes oh yeah Curt didn'treally do brush strokes on them hedidn't use those to his advantage yeahthat's also a valid point so now youjust got this criteria that doesn'treally make any sense I think yeah so Ithink that's where I'm at with Olympicsis you're trying to turn it into a sportyeah when it's really an art form so andI don't think that you that it's a badthing that you're they're trying to dothat and I think it's just a difficulttask to do because you're you knowyou're gonna what you what you have todo is essentially turn breaking intosome kind of gymnastics like thing mhmso what the what gymnasts have done islike for the for the floor routinethey'll go okay this is the moves thatwe're gonna do on the floor routine andyou're gonna judge us on that yeah andyou know each move gets a certain amountof points and you know then they gotthis clear score in the end you know andthen if they flop or anything they getdeductions for that so there's a clearscore at the end of the routine thatthey can get and then the next personcomes in they'll have a completelyunique routine too but then they alsogive the routine to the judges they gookaywe reviewed the moves you're gonna dothis is your possible score and you knowthen they're just judging on deductionsand stuff after that Sam goddamn howcould you do that would be that's my metsweaty right yeah um so I was likejudging it in the way of gymnastics Ithink is out the door so now what aboutjudging it in terms of like combatsports because in a way breaking issimilar to combat sports - becauseyou're going against an opponent you'rereacting to them you're also reacting tothe environment how do you do that Imean in combat sports a lot of it is youknow they'll judge on like the aggressorthey'll judge on how many like strikeshit or like a takedown or like someonegets knocked down each of those thingsis worth like some kind of point systemI don't know how you do that in breakingthough right like maybe maybe somewherein between the gym gymnastics and combatsports is where you do it but I reallydon't know how to mix that and so Ithink a lot of people have tried to mixit yeah and haven't got anywhere with itso yeah because even the point systemsin like all right it's like there's anunderlying bias on all of them rightit's like what do you think of the r16scoring yeah so that's Dizzy's yesscoring system shout-out to dizzy cuz Ithink he's doing a lot for this scene Ithink he's he's making his way towardsthe system because he's saying here'sthe criteria it's yeah I think he saysfoundation battle dynamics creativitymusicality creativity and musicalityyeah so each of those sound like goodcriteria for judging but the underlyingbias is that every b-boy to be a beatgood b-boy you have to have all that butmaybe not yeah see that's my that'swhere I differ because I think to myselflike do you sometimes I think you canhave an amazing round and do nofoundation I don't necessarily think youhave to do foot worker in yeah yeah yeahright well yeah so like how do youdefine each of those categories likehere's a good example um Susie Rock mhmI love this dude style I would say I'veseen some rounds from him where they'renot particularly dynamic but they'rejust like amazing they're just amazingrounds he's just like such a good dancerhe's just he knows how to work the crowdso based on that r16 judging system hisdynamics wouldprobably be low mm-hmm his musicalitywould be high and you know againstsomebody else maybe they don't score aswell you know I would think he's theclear winner but I think the system kindof breaks down when it's you know yougot a guy who's who's like that and thena guy who's completely different andthey're scoring like really high onthese thingsit's like how are you determining who'sbetter I mean in a way he uz rock isdoing some kind of dynamic stuff withhis musicality man right so does thatbleep you know how does that bleed intoeach other those two criteria I don'tknow yeah and then also what is goodwhat is good dynamics and what is baddynamics I think that's that comes downto a subjective opinion on it and samething with all the other categorieswhat's good foundation with badfoundation yeah right because itinherently uses bias the way you thinkbecause like you may come up with acertain series of moves combos and I youmight think it's cool by things like Iwell I could have thought of that yeah Idon't want to name any names here butpeople were like it's like I don't getwhy this guy's so popular like yes Idon't think it's that creative like Idon't think yes my mind blowing and it'sman like what so it's like at that pointsystem I mean I just inherently it'sjust difficult to do well you know theother thing is like the the the categoryof creativity I I mean I can I can thinkof a situation where someone would scorehigh in creativity but don't deserve itso think of somebody who bit Oh moveright from some unknown guy but nowthey're doing it on this huge stage soyeah in a way this is the first time theworld has ever seen this move but thisguy bid heats he took the move fromsomeone else he stole it he didn'tcreate the move at all now he's scoringhigh in creativity mm-hmm but he's notcreative he stole the movie bit so hewas rewarded for biting right uh youknow I I personally have a problem withthat name some names Kurtwing ding oh no it was me all along J sothis is really sanity his own brother sothis is an intervention you just wantedto bring me on to the showstop call me buddybit your name I don't utter okay thiswas in the other podcast so my fingertutting name is Quang bang and thenthere's actually a Glover name Quangbang and then I posted in this groupleveling Glover's lounge and I was likeoh cool I'm posting my my video and thenone of the comments was like hey there'salready a quayne bang how's it all surehe's like a billion times better than metoo yeah but you can do push it so ohyeah the push-up guy he's the push umOh was I saying about the Olympics umyeah so like the the criteria forcreativity kind of breaks down when itwell I guess a good judge on creativitywould have to have seen everybody andwhat they're capable of and know exactlywho's biting and who's not so which isnot a reasonable thing to ask of a judgecuz they're obviously not going to do beable to do that so but I do thinkcreativity is a big important thing tobe judging on in breaking something it'sjust I'm not against the r16 judgingsystem I just think that there's a lotof ways that it breaks down and doesn'tquite work for what we want breaking tobe but I guess in the Olympics though ifit like imagine it became its own thinglike hypothetically if maybe you saidbiting is okay yeah and then they wentinto this realm and then you're judgingon that andnow you're you're kind of like you'returning this artform into a sport whereyou're saying okay now you have toadhere to these specific rules and thatand that lets you compete in here so Imean the thing I can think of is maybelike skating how skating used to bewhere it's just like the Wild West backin like the 80s yeah and when it startedbecoming like a actual sport theystarted really defining what you do youknow and then it kind of branched outfrom Street skating and vert skating andso I mean I guess both of those are havetheir own competitive worlds but um in away I think breaking will do that whereyou it'll somehow turn into streetbreaking and competitive breaking maybemm-hmm where the street breaking is justkind of more of like what we do nowwhere it is maybe the wild west and yeahand you're you're presenting it's Iguess this it's more of the art form ofit and in the competitive world is moreof the sport world of it man I think PBSwould hate that I think you always willhate yeah but again I'm I don't thinkI'm necessarily against it right I justthink that as it stands breaking doesn'twork as a sport and so putting it in theOlympics I think there's a lot of workahead of everybody to get it to thatlevel or to get it to a point where itcan be easily judged and people and alsopeople watching would be able tounderstand what's going on because Imean imagine you don't know anythingabout breaking and then I have a judgingpanel of 10 people and then I go thatguy wins mm-hmm and you'd be like whyand then they go because I say sowhich is essentially essentially whatjudges that do now wait I don't thinkthat would go very well I mean yeah dudeso it's in what 2024 is in 2024 I thinkyou're gonna try it out look it I waslike I was like I'll be fucking cold bythem I fucking go for it fuck dude yeahhow's the oldI'll get smoked by about your kids likeI tried out for the Olympics I didn'tget very far though yeah theten-year-olds they'll be in the JuniorOlympics like oh ha hafuckers see their kids Steve I hope theOlympics is threes enough there's somegood 30 year old I know actually yeahactually Red Bull is it most I have noidea how old they wereoh I mean aren't you the older guysthere yeah a lot of them are over 30 Imean I would say half of them areprobably over 30 yeah which is so weirdbecause when I was when I first startedbreaking hmm you know but not I was like14 or something hmm everybody was intheir 20s and I was like these oldmotherha ha ha ha yeah and then I see one 30year old which I think he just turned 30when I was starting to break which isProvo and Rob nasty oh yeah you oldmother fuckers shout out to you guys butno there was a couple other guys fromback then I think like iron monkey and acouple others over like that age yeahyou know I was like it it blew my mind Iwas like oh you could still break atthat age that's crazythank you now I'm that agent like Oheverybody's this age and then I'mlooking at these like kids that were myage back then yeah 14 or whatever andI'm like these young little shits littlewhat is that the floss dance and so yeahoh my god I'd learn a real dance youguys play kickball guys play kickballand then you do 15 air flares against mein a battle you oh wait there's a guythat taught you right Tedlike when he's hit what did you go aheadoh yeah I was just gonna say Ted um hewas from my old crew flex Flav yeah andhe used to come to our high school andhe would just practice um just becauseit was a spot there and he would justteach us he was likedude how old is he I think he was in hislike early 20s but he just he knew likea couple of us so he would just come inhere like teach us and stuff and thenonce I graduated he I would go to hishouse and stuff and we just train inwhatever Oh what're they did you startbreaking um the girls women well okaythe first time I saw breaking with in umpro wrestling was really called the WWFback then and it was um was it thespinaroonie - no no okay Booker T yesbefore that guy oh it was um these twoguys named - cool and I can't remembertheir names but wait was it Scotty 2hotty Scotty 2 hotty oh yeah yeah theword ridiculous yeah Scotty 2 hotty andyeah bye anyway so like their specialmove was the one they like set the guyup yeah and then he would like do thestupid-ass dance around the ring andthen do this big like his mom was reallytight but yeah the warm across the wholethe whole floor and then just you Iloved about WWE or WF it was just sofreakin ridiculous yeah like the biggestfan of the rock he dude the moreridiculous he was uh-huhit's like the more I loved him like thelike the people's elbow when he when Iwas watching was get off and throw outthe audience I would be screaming oh mygod the people's elbow yeah yeah anywayrun from one side of the Ring to theother and just do a normal elbow drop Iwas like how did running from one sideto the other help with the elbow droplike how does that help with themomentum yeah I don't I don't think itdoesit was just absurd and then you justmake fun of people and his shit-talkingwas amazing is on pointprobably the greatest shit talker of alltime I don't know of anybody betterright I mean I think in a way like cuz II guess in the UFC there's a lot ofpeople that are starting to do that nowI think they take a lot of cues from therock from the way he used because he washe would shit talk so hard right and thecrowd would just get get in eat it up soridiculous and what they do and like andthe thing is like the more ridiculousthe rock cot with what he did thatpeople's eyebrows like but people justfucking ate it upso well the EOC I think like ConorMcGregor's yeah right he's that he'slike the number one yeahand then people mimic but think it'sthere was a guy before him Chael Sonnenhe was but he was he was very WWWE esquehe was very like though it was verycorny I loved it like I was a huge fanbut I think at the time he was like thenumber one selling fighter even thoughhe was never a champion but he was sucha good shit talker good talk and thenbut then you have Conor McGregor come inand then they're like it's a kick fromdude and then people were at first weresaying oh Conor McGregor is just tryingto be like Chael Sonnen they used to saythat but now everyone's saying everytime a new fighter comes up and startsto chuckling people just say oh he'sjust trying to be like Conor McGregorwas like Bru shit-talking has beenaround for a long time talking was withConor McGregor know it's been around formen were out there talking shit duderemember so we used to dance with thisperson Oh Candice Candice Candicebrother her brother yeah yes oh yeahyeah that guy is amazing shit talk dudehe's an amazing fighter yeah he was hewas like the thing is like people werelike um thing is people were like wouldhate on him cuz it's like oh he's justtrying to be like Conor McGregor butdude it works they keep us he talkedhimself well I mean he's he's stillreally he's a mate he's really a goodfighter and now he he's just being likehe's like the rock yes I was like dudenobody fucking worked because you knowin an interview right well I don't knowif this is sure and I assume it is butin an interview he was talking about howthe UFC was about to cut him right andthen like he got on the mic and he waslike talking shit to BruceBrazilians like this place is a dump youguys are animals world war and sin themoment and that became like a cut in hispromo and then that men they resignedhim i think i think is what happenedthat is hell yeah it was like you gottafucking do itcuz yeah i didn't watch it much of hisfight but I mean did you watch this manfight I didn't watch dude well I knewthe results I was I was rooting forcoming tonight because well we kind ofknow where I met it we used to work withthe Sooners his sister so I was rootingfor him but then my god dude they'reboth really high level wrestlersso who's mins uh was Division twochampion and then covington was he wasin the division one but he was rankedfive at the time so he was like reallyhigh up so it's like but when theyfought they were just fuckin swingingyes yeah like people were saying likefor how good the fight was yeah itwasn't very it wasn't very excited likepeople weren't cheering as muchinitiative but dude I don't know if youknow this but like he he like Guzmanbroke his jaw dude so he broke his jawin the third round and Covington stillkept fighting oh I was like what afuckin badass even even if you hate himright but he's doing it he's moving theneedle he's doing it he's keeping hiscareer he's getting paid so he's doinghis thingbut even if you even for the people whowere hating on him people were happythat he had brought his jaw broken butthe fact that he kept going till roundfive dude that was like if someone slapseemed like a stop you win like the guykept fucking fighting that's brutalhave you ever oh a key you used to domartial arts yeah yeah dudethe thing is I would I I was a I was ayellow belt that's as far as I got inkarate I was like I always lovedwatching fighting I was like I wouldnever fucking do it dude it's dangerousI did Taekwondo was like I feel I feellike I mean I feel like every match wewould do I'd see someone get knocked outdude I was like so fucking brain-deadactually even for breaking I'm like dudesome of these moves like the guys aredoing what the fuck are you doing that'sbrain damage like dude you probably haveacushion right now you probably know likeit's a cool some of the moves they doplus I do that's really so I'm like Ilove watching it I mean that's wipe theallure of double usually really excitingI'm like yeah kidding I would I loved Ilove the storylines I mean yeah fuck himup rock given the people's elbow give megive me the eyebrow yeah fuck abovewhich is basically just a hug in all itis it's it's kinda like a a chokeslamexcept you're hugging him instead yeahit's a hug dude the what what I loved uhwas it he was that famous the famous sirthe famous I was like dude my um bad assBilly good my brother my brother andsome of my friends were used towrestling moves on each otheryeah my brother did the pedigree on meonce my nose is bleeding is like goddammityeah oh but me my friend I had a friendand um growing up where we do the StoneCold Stunner on each other we're justlike randomly like like oh actuallythat's a perfect move of like dude whatdoes that move even do like like at thetime I was a kid I was like puzzles likewell how does that hurt someone knoweginning grip are they getting whiplashis that what it is is that what it iswas like itse trying to break cuz Idon't think that's a good way to know Iwas like I was really possible as likewait or is it because like they'rehugging they hit the shoulder hits thechin is that why I was like I don't butit's hyper shit oh okay you're the movieI love when the rock like when he'sslapping you and then he spits on hishead and they slap so fucking ridiculousyou know what the most ridiculous oh itwas well there's two of them then I canyeah is mankind's mr. Socko dicks itdown your throat yeah never made senseto me cuz I was like yeah it's a dirtyass sock so yeah you're probably gonnaget some diseases yeah yeah why don'tyou just bite his hand I know like itjust didn't makes it like he's trying tolike yeah I guess strangle you in a veryterrible way I guess he's opening upyour jawreally I don't know but like is it gonnabreak your jaw or something yes likeyour jaw is probably way stronger thanhis fingers so just bite him anybody dothat next like why is this my special sothere's that move that never made senseand then do you remember Rikishi oh mygod I was that's exactly what I'llfucking stinkface you just he justthrows you to the corner yeah he just healways worked he's like this big dude Idon't know how much you weigh he'sprobably like 400 pounds yeahbut he like he wears this like songthing and like well I know and he hasthis curtain over his ass and he and hejust shows his song ass and he juststicks it in their face and then justlike rut he like he like torque so fastcheeks and their disaster like biggerthan that body yeah and it's like on thedude just like dude I hope these guysgot paid like I'm just imagine if I waslike a wrestler yeah they're like yougot a fight Rikishi and I'm like dudehis ass is going on my face ass is onthe menu tonighthave you ever so there was one that wasviral but like he wasn't this guy wasn'tfamous the dude dressed up like MichaelJackson he got into it he so he dressedup as Michael Jackson he got the guy ina DDT like when you're having a headlockand then he does the moonwalk backwardsand they do like how ridiculous is itand then I saw another one dude it's sostupid but I was like but like I lovedit it was like so fucking funny and thenthere's another guy where I think Icould get this wrong but he does thisthing with his hands so he makes it looklike oh no Mortal Kombat when their dayslike I love it yeah that's one of theold school ones I think oh oh actuallywas he famous it was I don't rememberokay it was like it was on one of thosesmaller it wasn't on WWE yeah but butyeah dude oh yeah I know that was likeso okay the walls of Jerichoright that one yeah yeah oh when we werewrestling growing up I fuckin love doingthe walls of Jericho did you ever see avideo there's a guy that actually did itin an MMA fight and the guy tapped outOh for real he's like oh my god thatmove actually works yeah no frills youcan look it up like the walls like whatthe fuck I used to do it I did it to mycousin once yeah cuz we used to just trywrestling moves and I did it to him andhe was like look like it hurt yeah yeahI don't know I mean I can imagine you gofar enough it hurts well you ain't gonnawork on some people yeah cuz they justflexible as shit but dude what whenwe're on the Kings and the words we usedto do this powerbomb move all the timethis is the powerbomb so one time Kurtand I were in a competition and so whathappened so it was so we were businesstime crew they're all in suits and wewere in Seattle yeah massive monkeysmassive yeah so so Kurt we're allwearing suit and ties so Kurt was doinghis round and so the routine was nightbefore they thought you were likeplanted on the other side you're wearinglike a burglar I was I was wearing I waswearing a ski mask yeah I had a blackjacket on and so when Kurt went out andthey were like it looked like they're inthe middle of a routine and I pretendedto be on the other team so I run out Oha routine I run out and I push you andthen so you yeah it was a narrow andCarlos we're doing a routine yeah yeahand you run out and you're like noroutine and then and then I like I jumpout on bullying what the hell man I pushyou away and I start breaking like ohyeah we're gonna lose this you're likelet's just go and then and then you comeup and kick me in the stomach but butthen you punch me in the face and then Iland and I complete like a flatline likeI said yeah yeah but at first the funnypart was like the emcee was like chillchill shot yeah yeah they thought it wasreally shitreal and then the public and then youpush me to fit in there it landed likecompletely dead and it was like oh andthen they and I know the rest of thecrew pulled me off em seems like you gotsmoked and they just know it was sofunny because what right when we startedit people thought it was real oh there'sa fight about to happen yeahlike losers with these ties and the crewthat you were hiding that the guys wewere going against they just didn't knowwhat the hell is in the yeah thereaction from the MC was socialism itwas Joe from NASA monkeys he's he's areal dope host you know dope b-boy hewas he was there and he's like oh no Joeyeah and then like as soon as that hesees me punch you and you just drop onyour back yeah yeah it's just like wegot the judges to laugh we still lostthough we know we won that but we allnevermind we lost the next battle againOhNow or Never right okay okay yeah theyseem to be doing pretty well right nowall rightI think how do you kind of yeah I meanthey're they're good they're one of thebetter crews in Canada Vancouver I thinkis in Canada right yeah they're dope Ithink they're really good yeah um yeahthey're making noise I don't I haven't Imean I haven't really kept up with thebreaking scene too much in terms of likewho's winning the local right yeah butI'm sure there's they're still doingtheir thing dude I most of my breakingthat I see is just fucking on InstagramI just scrolling I'm like dudeeveryone's like a billion times betterthan me yeah I think what am i doingwith myself I should just quit getsmoked by every single person on thefucking little kids doing fucking helloto thousands and stuff or air flares onehanders as a Jesus Christ yeah dude I'mlucky if I get to air fleurs under goodyou used to have three I remember aboutI'm the day yeah and thenI've hurt this my right now older and Ilost them all yeah started getting himback I got like that was up to like tomaybe know what you didn't do beforeI've seen it ya know yeah I've done Ithink I did four oh shit point yeah butI so but I mean throughout my life I'vehad between zero and four yeah and it'sbeen like continuous just like losingthem yeah getting him back yeah so but Ithink when the most I had was like fourand then I busted his shoulder and lostall of it yeah had to had to train againto get I was probably about two and thenI hurt my left shoulder Oh Dannyopposite shoulder and so then I lostthat and then this this injury is likekind of bad yeah it's I don't know Idon't know if it'll ever be good againbut I kind of do maybe like two youprobably can yeah yeah I'm real controlman I do for Barry back in Davis I usedto like in-between classes I was likeI'm gonna get airflows I'm gonna get himdo I practice most of my time trying toget ear flares and I was just stuck onto the whole time like fuck fuck it waslike I actually gave up I was like dudeI couldn't I couldn't getting better atall these other things and I chose tostick with Air Force I God why did I dothis I really wanted them though but andthen I'm never getting like more onetime I think was like senior year andthen and then there was a bunch of newpeople I was like I'm a fucking dude infront of everybody and that helladrenaline and then I was like oh my godI feel I was I did the second one andthen I went through there was like oh mygod oh yeah that was like two and a halfand I was like oh my god I figured itout but then I never did yeah we weresaying that so I like started settleslike I don't think I'm gonna docontinuous air flows let me just try toget continuous would military flares thething is like we were talking about thiswe're in breaking to be like it's justpeople perceive you as power you have tohave air flow like an air flow or alignit if you don't do an air flare they'relikehe's he's got good ground no you'llnever be good at policy that's why I waslike I want to do windmills to airflares and get those consistently orflare to air flare consistently becauseif you combo was like oh he's he's nolonger the push-up guy he has more tooffer to me oh well you didn't hear inthe other podcast but today did hemention me already this one in thepush-up guy the push-up guy thing yesyeah wing there's a lot of push-ups inso he's a push-up guy yeah so I do thislegless push-up thing and I was sayingin the other podcast that wasn'trecorded so we're we doing thisso what happened was I I was dancing forthe Kings and then okay I was dancingfor the Kings and I people just lovedwhen I did the pushing move where mylegs were off the floor and then I waslike as a dancer like I spent all thistime I have all these moves but alleveryone wants from me is the fuckingpush-up move do that push it move yeahand then my friends would introduce meacquaintances would introduce me andthen actually not only would they tellthem they'll be like quake do it rightnow do the push it was like okay overI'll do the quick Oh dance mummy monkeydancepeople would people would randomly stopme in the street like hey aren't youthat push-up guy like fuck mandon't you have I have all these othermoves but don't you want to see thatmoves like no do the push-up movie upguys you have a lot more just do thepush-up actually so I recently um wasbreakdancing for like my company askedme was like so they they highlight um aemployee each each week and so one ofthe girls was like hey Quang can you forthe you know the All Hands meeting couldyou break dance I was like yeah sureI'll practice in small actually practicein this room I was a yeah practice insmall spacescuz it wasn't very a lot so I was likeyou know what maybe I'll just somethingthat bothers me I don't know why botherfeel like sometimes when people ask meto break I just do the push-up move andthat's itand I'm like no wonder they keep willcall me the post ship guys that's all Ifucking do and you ask me to break I waslike the go-to move the go-to moveso I was like packing and then when theyasked me I was like I thought to myselfso I'll just do the push-up andwindmills and make it easy and thenthought to myself like no quaynepreparing this stay no clang this is allyour fault this is why they call you thepushy guy this is all you fucking do soI was like I'm gonna fucking blow it upand then so I was like I was likepracticing like dude I was like runningmoves over and over it was like it waslike we were back at the words whereas arehearsal team I kept practicing themoves over and over as like I'm notgonna be called the push-up guy I'mgonna do fucking everything and so whenit when I actually did itwhen I say dude I was hella nervous likebecause that's like I was putting a lotof pressure myself I'm like no dude I'mnot the push-up guy I'm a brick morethan just that one move dude my I wasactually you happen I knew it was comingand he was comingten minutes before our meeting I waspracticing in the hallway I'll be likelooking around like it's like new movesin the hallways like I'm not gonna fuckthis up they're not gonna tell a nervouscause like the whole company's lookinglike like our office the CEO thehigher-ups the people in the Denveroffice and then some remote peopleeveryone's good they're all thereeveryone was looking or there was likebecause the thing is like everyone whenI got hired everyone's like oh quaintdances for the Warriors yes but theynever saw me break in person I was likedude the expectation is so fucking highif I come out and I'm a mediocre they'regonna think I suck oh he's he's awhere's dancer Oh and so when they whenthey introduced me like Wayne's beendancing since he was 13 he tends tothree seasons for the Kings threeseasons for the worst I was like sayingthe back there I was like my heart wasracing like oh my god clink don't fuckthis up that's like the whole day don'tfuck this up don't fuck this up don'tfuck this upyou'll never be anything more than apush-up guy Oh like you know you know ifsomeone if you do something and you suckpeople will tell you oh good job niceright but luckily that didn't happenthis time so what like they're like okayso we have a special performance andthen Gladys like my coworker Mike movedthe table I was like what's happeningand this is like she's like let me giveyou a clue so when I asked this personto perform he said sure I'll do it I'llpractice in small spaces and then she'slike could you guess who it isand then like Kwangand it's like oh my god it's happening Iwas like it's like you know like whenyou professor oh my god fuck fuck it'sactually it's actually morenerve-wracking than some of the Warriorsperformances on I was like oh my god allthis pressure like oh the Warriors breakdancers oh goodand so when I got up like I was it'slike I was like walking up I was likeyou guys are making me nervous oh my godand then like I was just like you know Ihad I had an idea before just to get areaction by doing nothing you know I didso I just got to the middle I just Ijust walked in the middle I kneeled downlike this like all dramatic i unzippedmy jacket this exact jacket and thenthrew it so the jacket like that itselfgot hello how's your boss in my face mybossoh you haven't liked when I tossed it Iwasn't even looking it went over like alike one of the founding members it wentover his head like this nearly likenearly missed his Havok Shh and then inthe end like my boss said that was likethe best part like it was like oh andthen and then I did my routine and thatis it's like dude I fucking threweverything I feel like a billion I feellike I want to say like I think sevenish moves yeah and then like and then Ibought like the CEO like her face wasred like she was like cheering so muchshe's like I was like in my bag is likeyes it's like yes no longer hey end updoing the push-up move however howeverthe good part about this story is theyjust said like oh great job blah blahblah they loved it but they didn't sayand I like that push-up move no one saidthatback at the Kings they would all war isoh just you gotta do that push-up movebut this time it was kind of redeemingelse it's like oh my god I've made itI'm more than just a push-up guy now I'mmore than just him it was my fault thisentire phoenix rising from the ashes I'mamazing so this is an example I broughtup earlier where imagine if you're anactor right and you're famous and youcare about your craft you're you'repracticing your crap you really careyou're trying really hard but you'reknown for one line like what you talkingabout Willisokay think about that's exactly whatyou're talking about that that's mecould you imagine everyone on thestreets or Oh a gate Oh imagine beingthe rock do that eyebrow thing do thateyebrowoh you're the eyebrow guy he probablyfucking hates it actually I love yourstory earlier that wasn't recording withthe Montell Jordan one there'd be a lotof celebrities that would come in and doyou know like music performances orwhatever and so one time Montell Jordancame to perform for halftime show and umwe were watching him rehearse and he wassinging the this is how we do and likeyou know he's kind of dancing but he hadsunglasses on he kind of took him offfor a second and I could see in his eyeslike that he was just deeply saddened[Laughter]basically performing this song everyperformance for his entire career whichis like he made a song in like early 90sor whatever yeah it's like 5020 likethis is crazy just collecting a paycheckI mean it's a tight song then org I knowthat see that would attract me Creekactually so that's why also he's thepush okay another story that we told onthe other one so when I was at the Kingsthere was this guy he was the emcee atthe Kings and what happened was everytime I went out he would introduce me hewould say this the strongest arms inSacramento he's like well I don't evenlive here but okay so one time he did itthe strongest arms of Sacramento and Ithought to myself like no I'm not gonnado the move I'm gonna do this spinningmove instead I have more than just amotion and so what happens is like afterour performance is done we walk into thetunnel it's like hey Quinn can I talk toyou he pulls me asidehe's like quang when I say the strongestarms in Sacramentoyou have to do the pushup move in a niceway you have to do I was like I was likehe's like yeah man when when you starteddoing spins like what is this guy doingdo the push like fuck and that you'renot the spin guy what are you doing stoptrying to break character character whodo you think you arewhy are you trying to show off thatyou're more versatile than you are youknow stop it quit it up oh oh yeah thisis like a totally random story so onetime I was at Burning Man right yeah andthis band was playing and like this guywas so bad was a band was playing in thein the playa the dust and then this guywalks up and like he's wearing like justunderwear that has like holes in itthey're like mesh underwear so he he'slike what you could see is dude I'mpretty sure I saw his dude I saw a lotof doodles at Burning Man a lot ofdoodles it's doodle town doodle man yeahso what happens like dude I wish I couldshow have this on camera but for thoseof us that are just listening he wasdoing this weird dancing he's likemoving around like like no the trunkwhite guy as freaky barbecue he's likewaving around I pretty sure like at onepoint he was like rolling on the floorhe's doing random motions like oh yeahokay think about in like a dramatic tointerpretive dance with modern andmodern dance it was like there's justbut you do random yeah she's right it'slike and then someone was like I heardsomeone behind missing oh my godit's so emotional you know they'reYellin right I mean so Lynn Lynn turnsto me and she says plain what kind ofdance is he doing I was like Lynn he'snot doing anythingdude he looks like he was on acid he'sdoing random oceans and I was like I waslike I was like Lynn and then Lynn'slike well how do you know I was likedude Alayna he was Lynn um I've beendancing for over half my life I think Iknowknow when someone's not doing anythinglike what the fuck he's not doing shitoh my god it's so emotional so I knowever the line that line it was like whatthe hell oh my god yesemotional oh my god viewing oh my god isso - it touches my soul he's literallydoing nothing oh my oh shut the fuck upso oh my god next time I MC a jam I'mabout to do that what do you do my godit's so emotional oh my god the emotionsthe emotions I mean III guess he's notwrong there's probably some emotion Iknow I used high on drugs that's what hewas he's feeling the high from the drugsthat was the emotion here this guy'sliterally doing nothing yeah actually Itold Kevin this story a long time agolike Beck and Davis right yeah isn'tcalled modern dancing where they're justdoing random stuffwhat is it cool I mean I guess that'scontradict interpretive interpretiveokay something like yeah I don't know Imean yeah see modern dance thephilosophy of it is that you're makinglike shapes with your body and there'snot necessarily like a certain formyou're supposed to do right so okay soit probably fits into there okay so whathappened was I did one of those I was Ican let's see how it is yeah just justto see how it is and so the danceinstructor right she gave the hero herinstructions okay you three start movingokay and then you other three whatyou're gonna do is you're gonna followthem but don't do their movements soyou're gonna sounds like wait so youwant them to follow them but also notfollow themoh I don't see oh and so they were justdoing random shit right just like likethe same thing like asking a guy justrolling around the floor us it's likewhat the hell is this and then and thenand then you know she says oh my godit's brilliantokay the next group 3 and 3 right thenext crew comes in J'son gives them thesame instructions okay you threetwo movements you other three followthem but don't follow them okay in thesame shit just a bunch of random andthen you have there doing it right justlike I don't get it like they're bothdoing nothing I don't fucking nothing Iwas like oh my god I was like my mindwas blown dude there dude what if shejust said that to fuck with oh I knowshe's like a troll yes yeah like it'sfucking brilliantbut you cling I don't that's that's whatthey pay me for I don't it was terribleWow awful what are you doing oh my godcalling them oh my god you know it'd befunny if there was a TV show like thatlike just like completely aware you hadlike a Simon Cowell type of person who'sjust like but he's like trollingeverybody I just I didn't feel theessence of your performance blah blahblah good really funny showespecially if yeah if if it's likesomeone who's killing it in theirperformance than the last guy just likeyeah I don't get itthere aren't there is actually a singingshow I didn't if you heard of it I thinkwas on The WB or something where likepeople like they were finding the worstsinger America so they they lie to thepeople saying like you're good have youheard that show no okay dirty as fuckbut that's hilarious dude yeah so theywere just like all these bad people thatwere horrible and then they would theywould just keep you know same thing asAmerican Idol except they'd pick andthey were just feeding these lies thesejudges but for the like for some peoplethat auditioned that we're actuallyreally good I remember one of thecomments was like yeah it sounded likeyou had like diarrhea or something buthe was actually amazing so it is likeKylie aligned with youoh my god oh man this is like yourstringer boy oh my god seems like youwere likeI ate it or something oh damn yeah I waslike oh my god it was so sad and oh myand then the reveal happens like Ohactually you know it's um it's not wedidn't find the best singer in Americawe actually found the worst singer inAmerica I think I was like but to cometo counter that the singing was like butthe you know it's not fake the the lovethis audience has for you and then theystarted cheering for him I was like I'mso sure he feels like shit yeah I waslike cut the next day he like killshimself I know dude that's like soembarrassed oh my god oh my god okaytalking about Edition actually I know afisherman in this story anyways someonethat we owe actually notice would giveit away okay no but like okay changeokay but you know like um so you'rethinking it dance right we've had somefriends I have auditioned but this onefriend in particular like he's actuallya really good dancer and should he justname namesokay who's not change their name okayokay so John was dancing but one of ourother friends Jimmy was watching him andlike so the way they cut it like soJimmy said like John was actually doingwell and and the judges gave him goodfeedback it's just he they just feltlike he didn't mix well together yeahbut during the actual like when they cutthe tapes and they were showingcommercials and then they made him looklike he was really bad without reallyshowing much of what he was doing andfelt like and and then the I thinksomething long was like and then somepeople just couldn't cut it like hoppingon his ass but like apparently he didreally well but the way they cut it theymade him look like he was really badlike and then some people just couldn'tcut it I saw our friend I was like oh noand then like later on as he few clipslater and then like in a few clips laterthey show they have a microphone to hisface and he was like it wasn't notalking aboutI feel so bad from because dude he'sactually a really good deal really goodoh dude I was like dude this is why Imean we've um we've auditioned for somethings before yes like dude I hope wedon't fake in me I fucking swear to godI hope we don't make the blooper reelblah blah blah hey remember this um thisone I wish get on camera but for thosepeople can't listen you can't really seethis dance move but you know that movewhere you like do this you push yourhead back yeah it's like you're pushingit's like you're looking like a robotyeah and then I do this and then like Ihold like this in front of me and youknow when we're auditioning for a BDCyeah I'm fucking you cuz I did that Idid it I did a competition you fuckingblew up people fucking loved it but whenwhen I did it on camera it was like ohmy god oh my god I fucking embarrassmyself I hope this is finished everyservices I thought that was so funnythough I love that movie I actuallybring it back so the Kings a snack and Ifucking I went against I think Sycharside shot I thinks I was a gay he dancesfor that job yeah so either he's reallya dancer but he's like he was doing morelike popping and krumping kind of stuffand so I was a b-boy so it was an allstyles competition so when I you didthat yeah and then and then like so Ipopped a little bit oh my god it'sfucking awful I should have never donethe popping part but they actually cutit a little bit during that - I was justtrying something I can do it - and thenI ended that popping sequence with thatmovie moment and I got the whole like myoh my whole like two rounds that I didlike I'm gonna push that clip actuallypart of me wants to post that clip on myInstagram but then like a couple of mybosses follow me on Instagram so I didso fucking inappropriate dude I've madesome questionable decisions in my lifelike some things like I like oh my godsome shits on the internet and howembarrassed is me to look back on itlike the Quang Bang thing this is becomeI'm running joke but I actually paidsomeone to write an e-book for me andyou wrote it a hundred percent no Iwrote it I wrote the book so it was likeamazing ways to make money and then Idoes the book but I thought to myselfyou know what I kind of like this nameQuangthat's like it's my brand that's who Iam and then like in the night on thebook it says authored by Quang Bang Iwas like yeah I love this name and thisis like and then like looking back islike that was really fucking stupidpeople one time okay Lin Lin again soLin was like you know what use likeshe's talking to max her husband's likeyeah you know I want to buy this book tosupport Quang the book was like threebooks like you two or three peoplebought it pity buys I post on Facebookand then Max is like no don't buy thatbook it's a joke it's not real it'soften quaint bang I was like lookingback it's like god dammit why did I dothat I just I keep it up now I was likeman that post hella embarrasses me I waslike no it's it's funny I'll keep it upbabe we should do is just say oh it wasa joke the whole timeyeah fucking brilliant so if anyone'slistening amazing ways to make money bycoin babe buy it on Amazon for 99 centsI've shameless plug I've ya know I readit and I made money do that you were youwere thinking in the clearest of mindsyeah shout out shout out to that bookanyways I think that's probably a goodway to okay so um anyways uh this is mygood friend Quang and do you have anyclosing remarks amazing ways to makemoney by Quang going by the book onAmazon now yeahhave you made money from dude so I paidsome guy $100 to white Oh 127 and thenlike three people bought the book atlike 99 cents so you lost money so soI'm teaching people how to make moneyand then I just lost my office book thatyou people how to make money so theirony hey well the Hustle is real thanksfor being here make that money dudealright man alright thanks guys[Music][Music]you[Music]  

Darren Wong, a member of the famous dance group the Kinjas, discusses his beginnings in dance and business, and goofs around with some dude.Follow @Instagram: noiseofthebrokeboysTwitter: BrokeBoysNoiseListen to the Audio on all Podcast platforms. All The Links Here: https://linktr.ee/NoiseOfTheBrokeBoysA broke degenerate hooligan documents conversations about being a Bboy, Breakin', Hip Hop, Dance, Art, Music, Creativity, Innovation, and the slow subtle crumble of society in audio form.----more----[Music]this episode of noise of the broke boysis brought to you by cardboard yesthat's right I'm talking about the samecardboard that is used to protect youryear's supply of preparation-h as it isshipped from the warehouse to yourresidence same cardboard that used tospin on your back because you were toobroke and lazy to walk to that freepractice session that your local hip-hopscene provides and yes that samecardboard that was used to make theposter of Justin Bieber that you hide inyour closet don't worry as a truebeliever myself I will not let yoursecret out have you ever wondered whatthat be and cardi B's name stands forwell its board this is car D boardsupplying your local strip club with thefreshest tunes cardboard is smoothstrong and stylish it's the perfectreplacement for all your card stockneeds head down to your local dumpsterand dive right in to pick up the latestshipment of cardboard and have yourselfa cardi board e time and now onto theshow[Music]in this episode I bring in a good dancebuddy I've had since high school webasically came up together as b-boys inthe early 2000s and grew to love hip hopculture together he is a member of theworld famous dance group the kynges andcurrently lives in the SouthernCalifornia area teaching and managingthe various dance schools that thekynges have built from the ground upplease enjoy this episode with my goodfriend Darren Wong hello everybodywelcome to the diarrhea doodoo show thisis noise of the broke boys I am yourhost Kurt rocks key and today I have oneof my oldest dance friends he is amember of the kynges or if you don'tknow they are ninja cosplayers that alsodo dance they do not root Oh cosplay andthen they're also good dancers as wellright I've known this guy for quite awhile I went to high school with him Ihad a crush on his mother yeah she wasmy math teacher and yeah what's up manthis is d-money mr. Darren Wong what'sup yeah so dude I haven't talked to youin a minute when did I last see youprobably my wedding huh yeah becauseyou've been living out in LA for aminute huhyeah probably since 2007yeah and we went to school like irvineright you went to UC irvine you movedout here and have been out here sincethen Yeah right cool um cool so likewhen I first met you um you were alreadylike you already knew what's up withdance I mean you were already kind ofdancing and this was you were a freshmanin high school and I wasJr probably yeah thank Junior so I don'tknow what I was doing hanging out withjuniors I mean hanging out with freshmenwhen I was a junior oh yeah I guess soyeah yeah you were cool and I was uncoolso we like met in the middle a littlebit yes we were about both sophomoresyeah I guess soso when I met you yeah you were alreadyinto dance so like what got you intodance I think like most guys who want todance a girl of course I wanted toimpress a particular girl maybe wiseI think particular girl in like middleschool so I wanted to do breaking cuz Ithought that was like the closest thingI could do since I did martial arts umso then I basically just tried to findany video I could through like illegalway times before YouTube and just learnfrom that just practice in a garage withmy homieand then yeah so did you get the girlnow got different go there oh it allworked outsweet yeah no uh back then that was like2001 Pro yeahdude did the internet yet exist yeahyeah I just remember like going to whatwas it b-boy calm or org or somethingyeah yeah yeah yeah and they had thoselike they had gifts but they're not likethe gifts you see now they were likeyeah it'd be a 10-second thing butthere's only five frames in it so you'relike oh what is he a bad call yeahbecause I remember letti trying to getthat stupid page to load that taught youhow to doturtles yeah and it was a it was a gifof I think Cujo doing him and like I youknow you wait ten minutes for it to loadyeah and then it finally loads and it'sjust like dude and I was like how thehell did he do that like the wholereason I waited so long for this to loadwas to see how to do that in slow motionbut no it skipped like 15 frames so Imissed it allyes yeah stupid b-boy org I hope youdon't exist anymore no actually I hopeyou do but I hope you're listening tothis instead I'm sorry I love your giftsice yeah I downloaded them that's that'sall bad when you're like downloadinggifts you downloaded gifts to like learnhow to break yeah it's the animatedpicture it's yeah that's terriblebut anyways somehow we got to wearanimated gifts to a finalist on world ofdance Thank You b-boy da or you are andyou are the people the People's Choiceforgives so do you still rep PandaExpress so we back when we went to highschool together we went to El Caminohigh school we made this crew togetheras like kind of a joke and we called itPanda Express cute cuz all of us werejust the only Asian kids there and yeahall of us just decided to break is thatAsian Club or is that like breaking ClubI don't know it could be both breakingClub and Asian Club had the same membersso anyways yeah we made it and we calledit Panda Express crew cuz I'm tired youknow we actually yeah we didthat's even funnier that wewe battled people as panda that's thebest part but anyways so since highschool you've like you've had a prettydecorated list of like groups you'vebeen a part ofof course like legendary steps flexibleFlav you were in Cabo modern right youwere leading that crew right yeah yesyears table modern the what would youcall them the hip hop dance choreo danceyeah I feel like there's like multipleteams that you see I cop modern isprobably like one of them one of the topwomen's tops and then the other onewould be CADC which is where mm-hmm Mikeand Anthony the two creators of Kim justcame from actually okay yeah so thenyeah obviously kynges and now you're inunderground flow it is also a Sacramentooh yeah uh so how did you get involvedwith kynges I mean I guess he kind ofalluded to it but yeah so when I was afreshman in college there's this thingcalled Casa dance-off which is like aKorean club basically it's like thisKorean club they put together it's onlyfreshmen so if you're a freshman you'reallowed to compete in like thischoreography showcase basically sobasically every school has their ownteam in their own choreographers sothat's kind of where I met Mike andAnthony at the same time and then at thesame time Victor Kim who used to likemmm yep I know you're trying to elude mebut him yo Victor was telling me like ohyou should go for like either one ofthese cuz he's like you know the topcrews so that I never go in with tabajust cuz they did more breaking piecesand I didn't know like choreo choreo soI went with that and then that's likekind of how I met both of them thoughthrough Casa dance-off cos mm-hmm werethere choreographing mmm and so then youguys they formed they they formed thecrew or conceptualized it or whateverand then they reached out to youyeah so basically the way King justformed was Anthony was going away towork somewhere else so they wanted to doone last showcase together and bringingall the homies that they've alwayswanted to dance with so they just likehand-picked like pretty much the toppeople from each crew that they don'tknew and like we're still friends withand then they don't know case and thenall of a sudden people really liked itand they're like oh shoot this is likesomething we might be able to do it'slike some seven cent money yeah that'sthat's a that's a very normal or like amuch toned down version that I wasthinking it was I thought you guys maybelike went to like a comic-con you're alllike dressed as ninjas and then justlike and then just all of a suddenstarted like dancing and then you'relike oh he's a dancing ninjaoh you're dancing ninja and you're alljust like oh we should join a PowerRangers ninja force oh no wait nevermindlet's uh let's just join it let's make acrew together yeah that would have beenthe cooler origins I guess that that onewas too normal for me so that's what I'mgonna I'm gonna cut out what you justsaid and just say that's whatbut yeah so then okay so then you jointogether and then the underground flowtwins Steven and Michael they joined -they got reached out to and who else doyou have in that crew good it's got alot of yeah you boys I mean it's Victorused to do it in the very beginning okaywhen they were on boob black ops yet sowhat is it ANBU black opsthat's literally from the ANBU black opsyeah so then that was Lin like for surewe were doing a lot of it never you tostuff what the hell and we changed it tojust be you know dancing I don't knowNaruto but that sounds like a reallyterrible BG show ANBU black hot we'relike I don't know some care right wechanged it yeah okay was it roll out thetalkiesno not at all oh yeah you guys wouldhave definitely lost forever we got suedto you you got sued and lost ANBU blackops is off the show okay so that'sthat's dope um so you guys wrapped asthat name eventually came up with kyngeswhat like what is what does kynges meanI guess like I just assumed as ninjasthat are Korean or not a lot of peoplealways guess that it's not the only onekin means family mm-hmm and then I gotdances ninjas so keeping up with thekynges that's what's upso um if people don't know this kyngeseventually went to world of dance whichwas like a TV dance competition showthat had tons of different dancers onthere and like a million-dollar prizeright and so you guys were competing init and you guys were the finalists of itand you lost to got out too late twinsbut should have been these dudes no I'mkidding they're good yeah actually wegot to the finalists for our group soit's like finalists for like soloistsand duo's and then there's finalists forgroups and then there's finalists for itwas like called kids or whatever thatwas yeah so we lost - JLo salsa team JLosalsa team yeahoh they're dope they're dope they'relike definitely high energy I feel okaymaybe I missed I didn't watch the wholeseason I watched like the ending ya knowwhat's confusing different groups it waslike yeah there was a lot and there wasso many different stylesthe other thing well anyway so that'slike that got you guys a lot of Fame andstuff so you guys now are like you knowteaching and then doing shows and stuffso like I guess what what where has thatgotten you now and like what are whatare you guys planning to do in thefuture so actually today we're opening anew studio in downtown LA it's calledthe complex so we have that we have wedid like a Kickstarter IndieGoGo typething for our first studio in MontereyParkmmm called kynges dojo we currently havethree studios I believe in China overall over these Chinamen China a lot nowcuz you got you just got back from Chinalike a couple weeks ago dang so youworried that what's I figured you werethere doing like shows or something yeahyeah so we have a lot of work in Chinanow too so all over the place other thanthat just teaching with around the worldworkshops normal stuff some of the guyschoreographed for like kpop stuff wellthat's that yeah so pretty much anythingto do it dance and music we're trying tobe have our little hands in I guess andthen yeah your your little hands youhave like your little swords yeah how doyou guys actually dance with foot I justknow you walked around like one day someweapons throwing some like yeah you knowuh so okay so in China I wouldn'timagine hip-hop dance is popular inChina but apparently it is now it is itis they started making it mean well youknow how like China's government is theylike time control what people see so nowthey're living like dance be a big thingoh that's so that's why I think it'skind of blowing up a lot more nowthere's a political reason for thatwhy would I don't know money has lessmoney yeah they don't I don't know Idon't know how a China works actuallycuz they're communist country yeah Idon't know how their money works so Igot a lot of it got a lot of it andthey're giving it all to you guys teachthem dance and do shows for that so coolyou're like a that's the most Americanthing you can do dude you're a patriotlet's dump so so like what is the dancescene like in China like I've been toChina because I used to do shows withNBA dance shows and so I went to inChina probably like two or three yearsago and so there was like a huge youknow huge NBA crowd there the and they'dfreaking love basketball and but we werethere and it seemed like they reallyenjoyed what we were doing too but theymaybe weren't too familiar with it Iguessbut it seemed like a cool place to likefor it to blow up someday and I knowthat the breaking song is starting togrow a little bit sorry my dog isbarking H so I so another breaking sceneis starting to blow up a little bit moreand you're seeing more cruising stuffcome from there I don't know if otherhip-hop styles are like you know there'screws in those Styles coming from Chinabut seems like it's a growing place yeahfor sureI think the dancers over there likethey're hungry to like learn so likethey're leveling up pretty quickly sothey're coming coming from the lead foreverybody are they dressed as ninjasno they got them like Crouching TigerHidden Dragon outfit you know what I'mtalking aboutthe kung-fu outfit they dress likenormal hip-hop what if they made a movielike Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon butit was just dancing maybe and they juststart flying yeah it would like fly ohyeah it's heavy dope we could just makeit I would watch it but I'm not Chineseit needs to be in Chinese and then likehave subtitles or whatever like dub overit I guess you could do that just justsay something else and then your mouthis moving differently oh man yeah that'sa I think it's ideas are yeah yeah thatsounds like a quick way to get introuble so um yeah so that's that'stight that you guys are in China doinglike a lot of them cool things umso aside from teaching and stuff arethere any big shows that you guys areworking on like I'm comparing you tolike maybe Jabbawockeez who lives whohave a show out in Vegas that theyperform and then they also had starteddoing some traveling thing or whateverbut yeah they do they're doing showslike all over the place is that like inthe cards for you guys to I think we'vealways talked about doing like our owntheater show I think there's just somuch going on right now that there'salways something in the background thatis happening as far as I know I thinkwe're just more focused right now onjust one this complex opening and thenyeah from there we'll see where thatleads I guess mm-hmmbut I'm pretty sure in the future wewould love to do it like a theater showyeah you know it's just funya know I think that that's that's acool way to like let to like let yourstuff shine and you get full control oflike what yeah well assuming you getfull control I mean probably you got towork with a lot of the other theaterpeople to make sure that they're gettingwhat they need out of it but but yeahyou got a lot more control of like whatyou can do you could say I want thisexact music I want to extend this partso long you know compared I'm comparingit to like something like what you didon world of danceyou would do a set that's like a minutelong or whatever um have to getcopyrights versus music yeah oh yeahthere's a lot of stuff you got to do thered tape there's a lot of red tape yeahthat and so many hoops to jump throughand then there's a lot of productionstaff that are like giving you ordersdifferent so I imagine that that kind oflike I don't know it lets you notcontrol it as much as you probably wantyou know like because I imagine when Ido stuff I go oh I have this vision forand then someone goes oh well that songdoesn't work yeah oh well actuallysuccessful what the heck was I gonna sayI was gonna ask you something I forgotoh so at your studio at your dancestudio like you have now you have threeyou said three Studios in China and youhave two in LA and are you planning togo anywhere else like he's always likean option I mean people always ask us toopen studios you know near them so EastCoast yeah maybeokay like pretty much anywhere is anoption I think I guess it probablydepends on where you're people areplanning to go cuz you obviously need tohave some of your people there mhm allof them are here right yeah I would saymost of us are here and then we havepartners called sino stage those are ourpartners in China okay I run that overtherenow do the students that go there dothey have to wear ninja outfits no Imean if you want you can what if Idislike you know we go to Disneylandit's like okay to dress up I feel likeif you're walking it's like mashed upyou're like cool you're like no one'sgonna look at you what would I have towear it for them to like kick me outit's like what's the limit here what ifI was with a ninja next question alrightthat's that's the end of that so I withwith all your successI imagine you've you've seen a lot oflike cool things in your life so can youtell me maybe about like the coolestthing you've seen like that dance hasbrought you to or like the mostinspirational or even the funniest orall three as a good question I guess thecoolest would have to be world of dancethat was like just being surrounded bypretty much everybody's like a master intheir craft you're basically like in aroom with like a bunch of masters andthey're just like vibing out togethereveryone's like friendly so there waslike no hate or beef so that was coolfor sure I think that was like thenumber one memory traveling wise I wouldsay maybe going to like the Philippineslike seeing like there's like a dota 2championship or something like that ohthe video game yeah so is like a Oh achampionship and then like the GreenRanger was there and the Green Rangerwas he actually dressed up as the greenI don't know does he wear like regularclothes cuz that's what they wouldalways do right I don't know if I wasthe green I would do that all except Iwouldn't want to be the Green Ranger I'dprobably be the what I hate the blackRanger well you know because cuz Zakfrom the original one would be likelet's go he'd like strike he'd be he'ddo a body roll into a fighting stanceand it was like the dough fish at leastwhen I was ten years old or wheneverwhatever I was when I watched that I waslike that's how you fight then I gotbeat up your sets man bring it backno I just want to getstreet fights like that just like a whatdid you say to me let's goit's morphin time then like as I'm doingthat they're like beating me up I knowyeah my yeah that sounds like a bad ideadon't do that but it was cool to watchyeah cuz he was just they were justfighting do you know the little likepudding whatever I never understood thatactually I don't understand cuz it justwas like clay and then they all of asudden we're like things and you justkicked them once again dead and I'm likeman you guys screwed up a little bitlike if you put all your faith in liketaking over the world with those littlethings like dude you guys or why didn'tyou just form one giant putty baby yeahseriously like why did you pick thatlittle that little guy why didn't youjust make a Godzillayeah and just say hey you don't need tofight nobody just walk around this cityand you know by the time the PowerRangers like get there like thingtogether and kick you like half the cityalready destroyed man I should have beenRita Rapunzel it's time to conquer earthlet's make look like monsters to getbeat up High School is basically righthigh schoolers led by a giant head ledby a giant head who's never fought a dayin his lifecome on dude Power Rangers jeez I don'tknow shout out the Power Rangers don'tsponsor this show Oh God look at me ohdamn um so like what about what is thereany like movie opportunities like in theworks for you guys mm good question Idon't know I mean I feel like most dancemovies don't go as far as like theydon't you would want them to go yeah Imean but yes oviedo yes I actuallyalways thought about writing a scriptfor a movie that had to do withhip-hop and breaking mmmthat would show more of like the therawness behind it because every dancemovie I've seen has always beencheesiest yeah yeah yeah sure it's likeyou know I'll watch beach street orwhatever just to see the dancing andthen as soon as they start talkingoh you biters you ain't worth the beatthat's what's the point I turned it offyou know I mean but so I've alwayswanted to see a movie like that and Icompare it to eight milelike with mmm where he you know he'sjust like it's almost just a story of emand em really but like there's I feellike they just put like a really grittylike you know veil over it to show themore raw side of like anti popping andyou know battle rapping and stuff and soI always thought that that'd be dope totake that on with with breaking yeah letme double its um yeah I don't know thattelling the real story of like someone'slife versus a little bit cuz like thisis dance somebody yeah the things thathave always bothered me and it kind ofwhy I started this podcast was because Iwould always see like Hollywoodportrayal of breaking and hip-hop danceand it's always like let's do hit hayeah and I'm like alright yeah maybe Imean if you're you know I'm not tryingto like shame that but there's more toit than then hip-hop there's uh you knowlike what I mean I saw some stupid videoof like there's a girl going like andyou know like it was some weird dantlike teaching how to do some stupiddance in a music video and I was likethat's where we he was so it was funnybut uh it might have been a jokeactually um but it was just like yeahthat's not the hip-hop Ino so I wantedto like show the other side of it andtalk to people who've like you knowlived through it and are still livingthrough it to put that on there so thatyou know people who don't know hip-hopdon't just get the one-sided view fromthe Hollywood perspective because reallyHollywoodI think the way Hollywood looks at isthey go okay what is cool looking mm-hmmthis isn't the highlight of our movie ora commercial or whatever we just want tosee some cool moves and look and peoplesmiling it's donewhich is fine like I think that's cooltoo cuz you know any exposure is goodexposure but if that's all you ever seeyou go all like what is breaking what iship-hop what is this it's people smilingand doing backflips and second there's alot more to it than that there's like ahuge hustle behind it there's you knowlong hours at a studio or you know onthe concrete if you like that I meanthere's long there's long hours justlike putting into your craft and stuffthat I think you miss if you only see itso but yeah so that's why I wanted tobring you on because you obviously havegone through the hustle and a struggleto get to where you are and that's whyI've brought on a lot of other peopleand yeah yeah maybe someday I'll write amovie huh sounds dope I think it's justlike if you really understood like howmuch even like physically we go throughthe risk we're putting our bodiesthrough even not just for like now butin the future like it's kind of it'skind of crazythat's great because it's like it's likegetting beat up every day you're notlike you're not getting black eyesyou're definitely doing stuff that Imean I guess as an example like when Iwas learning windmills I would go homeevery day with like a bruise on myshoulder a bruise on my hip and then Icome back the next day and do it againand then the bruza just get bigger andbigger and bigger and then you know andthen tons of scars and then eventually Ithink my body just got used to and waslike alright you win no more no morebruises and then it stopped bruising andit stopped hurting but I'm pretty surethat's gonna correct it for sure forsure so I take care of our bodies gottatake care you're younger you know wedidn't stretch we do just like jump inand just go for ityeah that was I do that all the timeand it wasn't until I tore my meniscusmy right knee and like the doctor waslike you're gonna need surgery you'renever gonna break again and I like it'sover for meand then yes I was just like tripping atthat point and trying to figure out youknow how to how to how to get throughthat and so then I put I just took likea whole year off from dance and just letit heal I was like really scared ofgetting surgery because I had a bunch offriends that got the surgery yeah and sothen um they they think they couldn'tlike dance so as much as they couldafter the surgery saw a super scared ofit and so I just said what do I have tolose let me just quit like a year andsee what happens and if I really can'tmove then I'll go and get a surgery andthat's it the doctor told me that thatwouldn't be a big deal so to wait for itas long as I'm not like did you getsurgery no I didn't get surgery right soI took the whole healed by cell took theyeah and I went to a physical therapistworked out my knee got a lot of like youknow work done on it and and you knowand I just rested a long time cuz I toremy meniscus in high school remember yeahand then you got like hand hopsyeah you got crazy hand offs hey Ididn't know you like tort and dude nosurgery that's crazyyeah cuz I was scared I probably I meanat that moment if I was in a differentmysaid I probably would have got it but Iwas like dude if I get a surgery and Idon't need it and or and like messes itup because the surgery basically youhave a flap of your meniscus which is abunch of cartilage between your knees isit's like torn and doing all sorts ofwaving in the wind and stuff and itfirst of all cartilage takes a long timeto heal so it's it's gonna it's gonnahave problems and then the surgery isthey like they cut it off yeah yeahright move it clean it so then if it'snot perfect like now there's rubbingthere so then they say what happens islike you can get arthritis and lots ofproblems later on in your life too andthen your knee is gonna functiondifferently now that that's not therecuz you you essentially do need thatthere but yeah because it's it's causingmore problems it's causing pain they'llcut it off yeah yeah and so I guess minehealed was kind of healing weird and soI just went to the physical therapistand they would just break down scartissue until it eventually got into agood place where it doesn't bother meand so it really doesn't bother meeither I mean it's good like once in awhile like if it's cold or somethingI'll feel like a little bit of pain orold man like that so that there's thatand then I man I injured my shouldersboth of my shoulders this one was frommy right shoulder was on a I waspracticing do you know what a Arabiantwist flip is it's like you it's likeyou kind of jump like you're gonnabackflip and then you twist 180 and thenfront flip so I was doing that so like Ihave to throw you have to throw your armkind of like this and I threw it way toohard enough effed up my rotator cuff andat that time I was learning air flaresand I had probably like two or three atthat time and so I had a quit Air flightso I lost my air flares and then I coulddude I had to quit breaking for a longtime because of that came back zero airflares zero Arabian twist and a lot ofother moves that I lost yeah okay then Istarted working again getting all thesethings backand then I was working with the warriorsat the time and we were doing theseshows and there was this crazy trickthat we were trying to figure out how todo where I don't you actually me and youmade this trick with Vince the one youknow the one where Vince what's do thesplits on the ground and then I wouldjump and then you jump in here maybe Iwas jumping over you I don't rememberbut we would do that so we were doingthat except our friend Quang who's likethe buffest guy I know he's doing likehis planche like push-ups down whereVince would have been and then one guyjumps over him and then I was jumpingover that guy and then we got anotherguy who gets thrown over here so it waslike it all happens at the same time soit goes boom yeah and so while we werepracticing this he missed oh and landedstraight on me so I went headfirst intothe ground hit my shoulders super hardand it just like effed on my shoulderand so I went to the doctor they're likeoh yeah this is like a common linebackerinjury and I was like yeah cuz I'm afreak yeah look at me and yeah just likedon't don't do whatever you're doing andI'm like okay what do I do and they'relike that's all you can do all right sothen then I lost air flares again andnow my now both shoulders are messed upand this is my catching shoulder soundslike it's hard to get yeah I always likenot to not too happy with that so I haveair flares a long time ago man I can hittwo once in a while if I can deal withthe pain in the shoulder but if I'm notdown to do that and usually I'm not it'slike yeah it's kind of like oh yeah yeahthat's an airflow I guess so yeah that'sthat's the pains of life of a b-boyyeah yeah so do you have any um chronicinjuries from dancing hmm I'm stilldealing with the torn back even to thecorner back yeahso I think I like twisted wrong I feellike I tore a muscle in it hasn't beenconfirmed yet but when was that that'sbeen like two years I've been every nowand then my back will pull so I can'teven like bend over to get my caroh that's been fun sometimes I get likea weird back pain it's not like nearlyas bad but sometimes it'll be like oohwhat's going on like it makes it so ifyou're like in a weird position it likehurts a lot soon I don't know yeah forsure that the meniscus tear sucked forsure when I try to learn air flares backin the day my shoulder went out of placeI stopped doing that oh yeah I was thereI don't know if you're doing air flarebut I remember you did pop your shoulderat once yeah doing a hand holding fundid yeah I'm lucky I didn't and thatnever happened to me because that wouldbe and we were yelling back then too solike yeah you pop it probably whenyou're a sophomore dude that sucksyeah and then you just started learninghand hops on the other hand yeah andlike you know now you can hand off for ayear yeah it's like riding a bike Inever practice them anymoreright and you could just do it yeah heyno weird I get to hand hops threehandouts maybe so you know yeah yeah Ineed a break my soul no - well actuallyI guess that's a good thing for you likeif you ever lost your legs just be likei'm handi-capable hop around dude thatis sickbut yeah injuries for sure suck yeahit's like you know it was like in theend it's my job so like if somethinggoes wrong mm-hmm game overoh I want to see if like dance startsblowing up to the point where it's likea sport and stuff like you know I get Iguess with the Olympics and stuff I wantto see you know if it was at the NBAlevel and they had all these likeyou know good doctors and stuff likeworking with these athletes to keeptheir bodies like perfectly how goodpeople would get yeah for sure becauseI'm 100% with that yeah I mean Artie Ithink already you're seeing like it's alot of now little kids who probablytheir parents were b-boys or B girlsback in the day are now like ten yearsold and you know double flipping overyeah each other kids are crazy now yeahthey do stuff that I'm like I'm nevergonna try that in my yeah well so it'slike I think you see that now and thenso you're seeing kids that are good fromlike birth essentially and you know Ithink once it becomes like a biggersport and maybe there's more researchinto like how to keep people in physicalgood physical shape for itI think melding those two thingstogether dude you're gonna see somecrazy like 20 year olds like literallyflying just I don't know yeah they'relike it's triple air flares yeah likeit's nothing yeah you like the futurefor like at least our generations likemore coaching them I feel like if itdoes become a sport it's like oh yeahfor sure there's no y generation becomecoaches where the teams which would becreated there the era of like gettingbroke off figuring out how to do it intheir the era of like oh you got brokeoff and can teach me how to be a pro capso now I can do it when I'm 10 a dude ohyeah and then when they have kids whoknowsbe crazy or I don't know maybe breakingdoesn't exist at that time I know manOlympics oh yeah I know where hopefullyit goes through you yeah is it throughor no I think it's like 90% sure I don'tknow I'm pretty sure it's going throughI don't want to say 100 because I don'tknowyeah what are your thoughts on thatthings though I think as long as theyfind like a fair judging system likeeven like it like you have to becertified to judge you knowthere's like you do understand thecriteria so it's not so like biased oranything I think that's what will makeit legit versus people seeing it once inthe Olympics and then all of a suddenthey're like oh no you just can't do itbecause you know just because it wasmessed up the first time so mm-hmm aslong as they get it right the first timeit'll last possible yeah I think I thinkso too i think it's it's tight that it'sin the Olympics and I'm really excitedto see it there and I think we've as ascene come very far to get it here but Ialso am worried that the scene is notready for it because for one there's alot of pushback against it which that'sgonna be problems and then yeah thejudging I think there's a there's a lotof hump to get over to make that rightbecause I think basically judging now iskind of like you winno you just point to the dude that youthink wins that ain't gonna cut it forthe Olympics I mean because they're usedto points and whatever and like oh yeahhe wins he got ten points and I give himzero like that doesn't that ain't gonnawork dude okay so I think yeah everybodyeverybody in the scene really needs tocome together think about how to do thisand I'm not just talking about like theoh Jesus I'm talking about anybody hasseen who has a good idea to like try tofigure it out because I think ifanything has been proven is that wedon't have a good judging system otherthan I mean I think one two three pointto who you think wins is fine with meat from like an artistic perspectivebecause I look at it is like there'sthese judges here and they have theirown artistic perspective on what theythink is good and then pointing at it isjust saying my opinion is this that Ilike this more and if the Olympics isokay with that that's cool but the in inand simply because that kind of goeswell with the way breaking was formedand how we've always done it so it staystrue to how we do itI think there's holes in that for surebut I don't think that's gonna fly withthe Olympics because it's kind of like Ithink what they're gonna say is well ifsomebody who's watching says well whydid that guy win and then they go ohbecause Darren from kin just said sobecause he wore a ninja costume and theother guy didn't okay well alrightthat's how you get an Olympic medal thenyeah yes so that's not gonna fly youknow what I mean so but then again Ithink giving points to specific criteriaI have some reservations on that becauseI think it breaks down a little bit whenyou go okay if you imagine a guy who'sreally well-rounded going against a guywho's really good at maybe a few thingsI can still see either of those guyswinning but a judging system thattailors more to all-around person thatguy is always gonna win in that batterso I have some problems with that it'sit's I like to always compare it topainting you know where you're judgingan art piece so say you had like theMona Lisa and you're looking at I forgetthe name of the painting but like it'sPicasso's painting of the war where it'slike all this cubism kind of thingthere's like a lot of like chaos goingon there's a lot of argue if you werecomparing those and they were back likesay those paintings are battling righthow do you judge that yeah because inone way you could say oh the realism onthis one is much better than that sothey win but then you could say but thisemotion hereI see more emotion in it I want that onebut then you go oh but the Mona Lisasmile has this slight little like thingto it so maybe it's like inner pain orwhatever so there's an emotion in thattoo I so there's like a huge failure ahuge debate that gets involved with itand so how do you put criteria to thatand it could like ruin the art form witha really coolbe like okay I'm just gonna do for workjust to get the points you know yeahversus like if that's not what youfeeling then fucking don't which is sowhich is why I really think the pointand point to who you think wins is agood system because it's at least goingokay it's being true to your impressinglike an audience right and showing yourart form to that audience and theaudience is saying okay I want over thatand the audience being the judge so Ithink it's good that it stays true tothat and they're they they're able toput their own creative opinion into intothe choice of the winner so I thinkthat's good but I do think that itbreaks down a little bit so I was I'vebeen playing with the idea of like ifthere was just like 20 judges andthey're all from different areas of theworld they've all you know maybe hadso-and-so amount of experience 20 yearsor whatever renowned or whatever youknow dancers and they're set in in theroom as like the crowd and they're justjudging and so you get 20 differentpoints of people so basically yoursystem is a point system of 20 totalpoints yeah and and your score is justbased on who that got that particularaudience member points to I think that'sfine like I think this is as long as thejudges are like credentialed whateverthey need to do to get to that spot likethen it's like I feel like that is thefairest way first is doing like you getpoints for footwork or top rocks styleand power you know I mean yeah becausethat's so subjective and yeah I mean Ithere you can get in long debates aboutpeople going like that's not to me I godude who cares yeah like you're sayingthat's footwork and that's not for itit's something cares like you knowI mean that guy's expression of a girl'sexpression or whatever they think it issoon it's just dancing it's just amovement it's either cool or it's notdope or it's not so why don't you justjudge on that rather his a pinkietouched the ground like what the hellare you even talking about do yaunless the footwork competition dudeyeah dude I think footwork competitionsare the stupidest thing and this is yeahthis is a hot take and probably a yeah Iwould imagine a lot of people would bemad at this but I think footworkcompetitions are the stupidest shit everbecause it's like it's just a way forpeople to like go in and go hey look atme I I did footwork based on this modelof what everyone thinks footwork is andI win cool like not to diss anybodywho's done thatyou know usually the person who wins isvery good at what they do but I've seenpeople that have very good what I wouldconsider footwork and they lose and it'sbecause what they're doing is maybe notmainstream footwork you know I think themainstream footwork is probably thatkind of like Rocksteady style a littlebit where it's like very step II a lotof pauses and stuff little littlefreezes in their footwork but I've seenlike more flowy styles where they'redoing sweeps and they go on to theground and like kind of rolled aroundand stuff I'm like they're still usingtheir feet so it's hard to say that it'snot footwork in my opinion like evolvingwith yeah when when I look at thefootwork competition the way I break itdown is there it's it's a way of sayingyou're not allowed to do all this otherstuff and if you do it in this littlebubble then you win and if you touch anyof this stuff out here you lose which Imean I guess that's kind of cool but atthe end of the day it's kind of like alet's tie our one hand behind our backand let's box that's what it is to meit's not like a real boxing match ittie both of your hands together and liketry to bite each other you know what Imeanwhich that's probably fun to watch andI'm not gonna lieforward battles are fun to watch but Idon't know if you're talking aboutstraight up breaking dude I don't know Ithink it's stupid yeah that's my hottake don't hate me for it so we'recoming up on 50 minutes or so yeah yeahdude so I know recently you got engagedright so how's it yeah how's that goinglike are you guys planning your weddingand everything yeah already got thevenue Oh dope next year already gotphotographer videographer got the foodyou know Nate course ten course dangdude what happened then got theguestlist going hmm you're invited ofcourse oh the wife right now ready Ionly get me in February yeah Februarynext year not oh dude did you already ohyeah okay well okay so you guys aretaking that's good me and Keiko took ourtime too we heard we were engaged forlike two yearsoh yeah yeah we were engaged for liketwo years I think and then we um cuz shewas in nursing school at the time andthen I was I don't think I was doinganything but I wasn't gonna plan thewedding I mean that's real how much howmuch of your opinion is going into thewebsite I'll try the food with you youdude yeah every single one of my ideasout the door I mean you got to wear thesocks though he pulled it offdo you yeah so he's talking aboutI goofed on everyone at my wedding yeahcuz I like to make jokes I think I madethe joke too Caicos mother because shewas like you know really involved liketrying to like have us do all thesethings and I was like I think we'regonna have a ninja turtle themed weddingand she's just like shocked went throughher face like are you serious like ifshe she takes everything really seriousso that's why I said it she freaked outfor a second and then um I was justsaying oh I'm just messing aroundoh and I remember she asked me like whatis what kind of food are you gonna getI'm just getting a taco truck yeah somesome fear in her face ya know hey I'llstill stick by this opinion I think thatif you did your wedding at like a nicepark and you got a taco truck to comethrough and you know you Davi say haveto get it on a good day for weather butyou get a taco truck and you just invitelots of people you get a really dope DJand then make sure you know the city'snot trippin out about sound and stuffand just did your wedding just like as aalmost like a barbecue you know I thinkthat would be the funnest thing ever beso like less formal yeahtakes out the you need to sit by thisperson it's like yeah like cuz I I'vealways hated like the formality ofthings and so when we started planningour wedding I was like dude this is notfor me man okay let's just like cuz Iwas seriously saying let's just go tothe the courthouse and sign papers inwhatever and then just do it like thatbut I knew that wasn't gonna fly so wehad to dothing and I thought it was a good wayyeah I mean Keiko did a good jobfiguring out what to do and I helped alot with like decorations I guessbecause she would say pay build this andbecause I know how to build so I wouldgo and build it for her so I built awhole bunch of stuff for her or for usand over here come on yeah so yeah itturned out and you know we were lookingfor a good venue so we went to a lot ofdifferent ones and we went to that oneit was about the flower farm in Loomisnear Sacramento so I really liked it shereally liked it because there was likethese chickens they wander around and wethought it was like the funniest thingever because I grew up near Fair Oakswhich there's chickens wandering aroundall the time so it was like something Iwas used to a little bit and I used tohave chickens as a kid tooand so I was like oh this is fun shethought it was funny too so we're likeyeah let's do that's why we chose thatplace they don't spot for sure and soyeah we I mean we made it we took thatand I guess the reason we chose it wasbecause having it on like a somewhatfarm setting like a nice farm settingtook away a little bit of the formalityso I was happy with that so I think itturned out well I need super dope to seeold friends and stuff too yeah that wascool yeah and then yeah during theceremony I got to goof on everybodybecause I said hey well my vows you knowI said all my vows and ice and then atthe end I said Sancta cake oh I wish Ihad because I basically said I'm gladthat you let me do a surprise TeenageMutant Ninja Turtle themed wedding andshe was like oh what and then I likelift up my pants and I had a NinjaTurtles sock on to get clothes thereyeah so I like to it was a good I thinkthat was good yeahyeah yeah cuz I was just I was reallytrying to not make it so forth like Idon't know it when I lost it even likewhat the new job is playing like thatwas just oh yeah yeah I'd already setthe tone like it was gonna formal youknow I was yeah yeah exactly like weyeah we played new jobbies it wasanother reflection no reflection eternaland that's mainly because I think whenme and Keiko first started dating I usedto play that song a lot of snot way Idon't know I can't remember but yeah shereally likes that song tooso anyway so yeah we played that becauseit was like we're trying to set the toneas like this is like have some fun andyou know chill yeah relax have a goodpeople going yeah y'all formalin shityeah you mean like the adults they'relike somewhere dressed in suits they'rejust like hanging do my dad was anotherthing cuz I knew for sure my dad wasgonna wear and so everyone was likeasking me like what's the attire and Iwas like well I don't care what you wearI'll probably be wearing a suit causeit's my wedding day but like you're notgonna offend me if you wear freakingboard shorts yeah in fact I wouldprobably think that's really funny and agood idea cuz it would probably be hotthat day but and then I would say butfor sure I know my dad is not wearing asuit so he kind of just already set thedress code yeah cuz I could tell him towear a suit and he ain't gonna wear sothat's already that's a dress code rightthereso like Caicos doubt of saying oh shemight wear aa tux or whatever I was like you knowyou wear whatever you want to wear butfor sure my dad is not gonna wear a suitso if you're trying to match him likeyou're gonna be looking a lot flier thanhis you know he's gonna come in with hiswork boots is like new pair of jeansthat and I'm talking like he'll havethese black jeans and what he does iswhen he works he has the black jeansthey get holes in them so then like ayear later he buys a new pair so he justbought his new pair without wedding andthen but he's probably still wearingthem working now you know what I mean sohe just you know was smart about what orI don't know I don't know yes so that'sthat's my dad so yeah dude so is likeyour wedding planning like is that goingpretty good like our young Jen's in theindustry you know oh really okay doesn'tmake up artists for wedding so she knowsa lot of people just makes it easier soshe she's not stressing I guess yougotta you're more than a year out yeahyou guys probably aren't stress in themyeah her friends a wedding planner - soodo hired her so just take all thestress away you know he did most of theplanning I think you did most of theplanning paid for everything and we hada day of coordinator though so we workedwith them and then I had a friend whowas a deejay so he did all that and hedid all the lighting and stuff yeahRJ shoutout to him a supreme soul he wasalso on TV don't music to you yeah yeahI saw well yeah I really wanted goodthat was the one thing about the weddingthat I really wanted was good mean Ithink so I was like sure like cuz Ithought of it like this if the weddingsucks it's probably because of a DJ -yeah or if you didn't like really enjoyit and also I also thought is like ifthe wedding really sucks how to save itso it all hinges on a good DJcrazy cuz I it's like yep if somethinggoes bad and the DJ just goes you knowhe plays some sound and in society youknow and then place you know some dopetrack and then people just are like youknow getting down to itdude you save the wedding's like justimagine it you know oh no the weddingthere the the bride spilled wine allover her white dress and the DJ goes ohno yo dude drop that beat son wedding issaved right I don't know I'm not a wayand I'd probably get a divorce yeah wellI would say just enjoy the weddingplanning time try to like have fun withthem for sure don't let it stress youout yeah cuz anything is just likesigning checks like yeah ya know a lotof money like sign checks for sure onetime in your life oh yeah one time inyour life yeah just I think I have astory that like puts it into perspectivewe were like this was like paid probablylike a month or two out from the weddingcake I was like looking at the differentdesserts to have so she wanted all theselike cookies and she like startedbreaking down and crying and stuff whatare you crying aboutshe's like oh my god everything's goingwrong these cookies they're they theydon't have like chocolate cookies theyhave chocolate chip cookie you know itwas like well so they don't havechocolate cookies they got chocolatechip oh oh no I don't have the secondbest cookie they have the first bestcookwhy are you crying and I was like heyjust I started laughing and she's likegetting mad at me and I'm like but heretake a step back and think about whatyou're saying you're like crying aboutcookies like let's just be happy we canhave cookies yeah everybody lovescookies and if you don't love a cookielike fuck you don't you know so yeah andthen I think she she like kind ofstarted laughing too and then she's likeoh yeah it's just the stress yeah solet's just laugh at this how does thecookie and then realize that cookies aregood and everybody loves cookies so ifyou don't like this particular cookieyou can go to cookie hell any cookiesponsors out there yeah mrs. field I'mtrying to remember the other one ChipsAhoywhere you at abisco hey Nabisco I needsome cookies dude you can pay me oh damnso okay so let's like try to wrap theshow up all right so what's in thefuture for you got for you and now thatyou're getting married like starting upthese studios like obviously stilldancing like where do you see this goinglike you're gonna keep teaching you'regonna like do more shows or kind of getaway from there and start coaching orwhatever I don't know yeah I feel likemy body is starting to tell me dude youneed to slow down so I think well rightnow I'm working on a program to helptheir dance teachers or upcoming danceteachers like make money withoutdepending on like you know likeauditions or even a dance studio likejust make it on your own just hustle onyour own and just understand how to uselike marketing and you know salesmanshipandstuff to do it all on your own so youcan just make a living off of that andteach the students that you want toteach me a life can you teach me how tomake a good podcast can you got it dudeI'll do the marketing for you I do thisbut this my guess is already good manI'm killing it I'm terrible at marketingdude I don't even use social media likemuch I mean I use Facebook but it'susually to talk to my mom mm-hmm or whoyou know someone in my family yeah anduh yeah so like a marketing on socialmedia is a nightmare for me yeah likejust thinking about it I'm like dude Idon't want to do that yeah yeah no Ifeel you I feel like especially ourgeneration and so one was like you feellike you have to post a bunch of stuff Idon't like post yeah I feel like it'snot about that it's more about like ifyou understand like how you know likewhen we buy stuff it's usually throughsomebody paying for an ad to show ohyeah yeah I mean so I feel like if youunderstand that like yes you're payingmoney to get your stuff out there but itwill come back to you but a lot of ourgeneration they just want to do it forfreeso that's why they just post a bunch ofstuff but it's not doing anything yeahthere's a lot of tools out there thatlike use the data that it tracks to likesell you stuff seems kind of like theysee like once they see your ad and youcan talk and they click you can targetthem to like you know show up later inthe Blake whoa yeah we've seen thatDarrin has looked up big black manytimes follow me around many likes to doit late at night so next time he'sscrolling through Instagram let's givehim oh hey Kurt you sell big black allthose we got the guy exactly so subduedI have the sides calm like how many canI put you down for a whole bag a bushelthe pockets is led up to that one ohyeah yeahyeah here's an announcement I'm startingmy business a big black bill does calmand check it Darren is my first and onlycustomer thank you you know buying myhost star is somebody owns that domainyeah probably somebody does hey pleasesponsor this I don't care see that'd befunny if like a hundred episodes in I[Laughter]was gonna ask you something again um yesokay so you're um yeah so you're gettingyou're like teaching people how to likemarket themselves and stuff and okay sothat's like you're building like kind ofa business around it yeah okay yeahthat's definitely something that isuseful to a lot of people mainly to mefreelancers you know it's hard out thereyeah it's it's hardwell yeah cuz we I think we live in aworld of freelancing now cuz I've justbeen noticing that a lot of like typicaljobs careers are like getting outsourcednow to freelancers because the overheadfor them is a lot lower they can droptheir costs a little bit then thecompany also doesn't need to pay forlike and health benefits and whateverother benefits they use so it's kind oflike in their best interest to do thatand you know sometimes you know they'repaying more maybe like per hour for afreelancer but saving a lot of moneybecause they don't need to do deal withany of the stuff that they deal with andthey just go okay here's the here's theproject here's the scope and you'regonna do it for this feed I am and thenit's like easier for them to do dobusiness that wayI've noticed that that's been happeninga lot and there's a lot ofresources out there for freelancers tolike be able to do that so yeah I see inlike 10 years it's probably gonna be alot of that yeah sure you know and Iwork so I work as an engineer and Icould see that easily happening yeah Imean it already does happen to us but Ican easily see a lot of companiesstepping back from having full-timeemployees to maybe only like a couple ofthem and then they outsource everythingright sure um cuz yeah I already know ofcompanies that do that right now so sothat's cool so that's your you'reworking on that kind of stuff so beforewe close the show is there any likeshout outs or any kind of plugs you wantto give mmmjust follow me at at Darren our Wang andcheck out my website Darren are wongkomand dude thanks for having me I feellike I haven't seen you in so longyeah nobody even before the wedding Ihaven't seen you in a while yeah causeright after the wedding I moved out hereno I moved down here before the weddingand then during the wedding we were justplanning so we were just locked up inhere and then after the wedding yeah andthen after the wedding we were like justwe didn't want to go anywhere you'relike I'm sick of the world yeah yeahjust you know yeah so we were justchilling and then yeah we moved here andoh no so now I'm closer to you and mankick it more yeah so okay cool oh don'tyou have a YouTube channel you teachyour son or something I do if you wantto check that out it's also Darren ourWang so pretty much give you time andDarren are Wong I'm all over the placeso pornhub yeah Darren our Wang you'llsee some wild stuff sponsored by likedildos comm dope dude so yeah shout outto your pornhub account shout out toyour YouTube shout out to your Instagramyour Facebook your big black dildoaccount tight man well it's been greathaving you I'd love to have you back Ifeel like I could talk to you foreverum there's tons of other stuff I cantalk to you about good luck to you goodluck to kynges man I'd love to have aninja outfit if you got any of them hiI'm Jim asked I need I need a Halloweencostume so I was thinking about wearingthis for Halloween and then changing theway that I normally dress to just beninja so if you got spare ninja costumesI'm not picky just or if there's asponsor ninja costumes calm what's upwhere you atI need some sponsors oh please you knowI'll get paid in ninja cough okay youcan pay me and ninja stars dude orwhatever and into whatever else and thenjust have smoke bombs you pay me insmoke bombplease oh god okay thanks thankseverybody for listening sorry this showsucks[Music][Music]you[Music]  

Nate and Paula talk about staying humble and the most common self defense coping mechanisms. Article link: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/defense-mechanisms Website: https://chatboxproductions.weebly.com/ iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/chatbox/ Twitter: @ChatBoxPodcast Instagram: @ChatBoxPodcast Facebook: @ChatBoxPodcast Music: Woho, I Thought it be me (feat. Lily Hain) - Leonell Cassio

This week we are so excited to be joined by worship leader and songwriter, Sean Curran of Passion City Church in Atlanta, to talk about the power of vulnerability in the context of worship.   Sean Curran is a vital part of Passion and sixstepsrecords/Capitol Christian Music Group and his first solo EP, Bigger Than I Thought, released in June of 2019. Since 2017, Curran has been part of leading worship at Passion Conference and is featured on Passion albums, including: Follow You Anywhere, Whole Heart, and Worthy of Your Name. He’s also a writer on songs such as “Bigger than I Thought,” “Whole Heart,” “Glorious Day,” and “Step Into the Light”.   In episode 107, Sean lays down some harsh truths about what it really takes to be a worship leader, and why vulnerability is really the key to breakthrough. Vulnerability is the language and nature of God and is our greatest weapon to tear down the barriers and expectations we have for ourselves and others.   Don’t miss this truly inspiring episode. Listen now!  If you like what you hear, please leave us a review! Also, feel free to shoot us an e-mail at podcast@worshiponline.com & tell us how we can better serve you and your church through this podcast.  Don’t forget to sign up for your FREE 2-week subscription to Worship Online at worshiponline.com/podcast!  The Worship Online Podcast is produced by Worship Online in Nashville, TN. 

Outspoken and unapologetic, Alexis Guerreros is the louder half of The Cooligans, a comedic soccer podcast and TV show on the fubo Sports Network. We sit down with the Newark, New Jersey born and bred comedian to discuss the show's origins, haters, and that infamous LAFC bathroom incident. Intro/outro track: "I Thought of You" by Nick at Night

Oh yes, I’m calling BS on those before and after pics. I cannot tell you how many before pictures I have taken over the years only to end up being pissed off in the end. I do NOT have one single after picture because I did NOT see any difference. At least, nothing I THOUGHT was different in the before versus after photo. In this episode, I’ll fill you in on the 4 reasons WHY before and after pictures are B.S., why they say nothing about your overall health and why they don’t always equal confidence. You’ll be surprised to hear that you can actually  be happy, healthy and confident without ever taking a before or after picture...because they’re BULL SHIT!! ********************************************************************   Follow Me on facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/melanie.sobocinski Check out my website @ https://www.melaniesobo.com/  See behind the scenes on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/melanie2875/?hl=en  Check out my Pins @  https://www.pinterest.com/MSobocinskiFit/pins/ 

Howdy folks, sorry I didn’t say so at the beginning but this is Season 2 Episode 10. Also the new Mastodon account for the show is at https://dice.camp/@plusorminus and the Twitter is still https://twitter.com/plusorminus_podThe Big Book of DrugsTM for Cyberpunk 2020DRUG LAB 101 – Ocelots Drug Generation Rule for Cyberpunk 2020Anyway, I finally got to play Survival of the Able by Jacob Wood, which is currently on Kickstarter (Link to the Kickstarter) so go support it, there are only 6 days left to do so, and its awesome. I start the show with a brief intro to the mechanics I’m interested in seeing play out, and then come back with a discussion of what I Thought about them.We did record the session, and it will appear as an episode of The Redacted Files at a later date. I had a blast and definitely recommend the game. If the concept sounds a bit “iffy” just give it a chance, it really delivers in a big way on the premise. One thing I didn’t bring up in the show was how well designed the character sheets were. Every unique mechanic had instructions and points to mark off on the sheet. In Survival of the Able you’re a person with a disability living in a European almshouse when the Black Death arrives. Little is known about where the plague originated or how to stop it, but those who die from it are rising again—and they’re hungry for flesh. Since everyone else has succumbed to the plague, it’s up to a handful of you to make your way out of town and away to safety. You may not be the biggest, the strongest, or the fittest, but you're determined to survive.Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/plusorminus)

In this episode: Creating your own vision of success The power of self-awareness Finding clarity through action Embracing that life is rigged in your favor I’M THIRTY YO!! & because I ALWAYS think of you like a girlfriend sitting across from me sippin on spicy margaritas I wanna dive right into this content all around what I thought “success” by 30 would look like, and how I define success differently now. Maybe you are 30, or almost 30 or maybe even about to hit a different milestone and you have these feelings of where you SHOULD be, what you SHOULD have or accomplished by now, and the fact that you haven’t feels like you’re behind or doing something wrong. Spoiler alert! You’re not behind & you are NOT doing anything wrong. Today I just wanted to share what I have learned since turning 30 while living a life I LOVE that is nowhere near what I THOUGHT it would be at thirty years old. And of course give you a couple of TANGIBLE tips that I think will hit home with you. I can’t wait to hear what you think, and make sure you check out the intro for a fun giveaway opportunity too!!   Quotes: “Do I actually want those things, like in my heart, is that what I want. Or is it what society has constructed me to want at a certain age.” “You learning along the way and sharing that journey will help make you confident & it will also inspire other people to put themselves out there too.” “Sometimes, in a world where you want to make change it helps you with that direction part when you find & pay attention to the things that bother you.” “Life is in fact rigged in your favor and is going to help prepare you for your next chapter so that you’ve got more tools in your tool box.” Resources: Hey girl, have you joined our email list yet? Subscribe now Check out ALL my favorite things on Amazon (trampolines, books, & more!) If we aren't connected yet be sure to come hang with me on Instagram @kaciafitzgerald and @empowerHERpodcast or online at www.kaciafitzgerald.com Topic or speaker suggestions? Shoot us an email: hello@kaciafitzgerald.com  Follow our EMPOWERHER PUMP-UP JAMS playlist on Spotify!

Build a website in just 5 days (even if you're not techie) at www.free5daywebsitechallenge.com Already have a website? Take the Free "Jumpstart Your Website Traffic" marketing mini-course at www.jumpstartyourwebsitetraffic.com Leave a Review! Welcome to my July 2019 Income Report! Every month I publish an income report to take you behind the scenes of my online business and reveal exactly how much money I make, how much I spend and lessons learned along the way! Important things that happened in July I set a goal to complete all course content creation for the rest of 2019. I launched the all-new 2019 Free 5 Day Website Challenge I created a companion workbook for my Free 5 Day Website Challenge. I booked two new clients Review of my goals My target revenue goal is $15,000 a month. My minimum baseline is to make around $2500 to cover my normal monthly expenses, I set aside $2500 a month for taxes, I pay myself $5,000 a month and I want to build up a reserve so that I can invest in my team, give myself a raise, have a cushion to cover the ebbs and flows of revenue and eventually cover my husband’s salary. So my minimum baseline is $10,000 a month, and as I mentioned in my income report last month, I want to hit that first $15,000 month by March of 2020. What I focused on in July So I pretty much cleared my schedule of as many meetings as possible in July so that I could give my undivided attention to creating content. And I had a massive amount of content to create. I recorded nearly 100 modules inside the Free 5 Day Website Challenge with tutorials for two hosting companies, two email service providers and three different themes - plus an entirely new dashboard and design. I wrote a 300-page companion workbook with step by step instructions that’s available for purchase inside the Free 5 Day Website Challenge that my students had been asking me to create FOR YEARS. I recorded the final 6 marketing experiments for my Website Marketing Lab students, and held a live pricing workshop for my Web Designer Academy students because I needed to update that module. I pretty much put the brakes on any meetings except for pre-scheduled client meetings, podcast interviews and web design consultations. And by the 2nd week in July I’d launched my new free 5 Day Website Challenge, and by the 3rd week in July I released the workbook, and the 4th week I spent tying up loose ends on both of those and recording those Website Marketing Lab experiments. Total Revenue: $12,291.81 Affiliate Income: $1,636.70 Courses: $5156.11 Done For You & Consulting: $5499 Total Expenses: $2850.68 Get the full breakdown of income, expenses and net profit month by month here. Net Profit: $9441.13 Biggest Lessons Learned Last month, I said my biggest lesson learned was to keep doing what I’m doing. This month, my biggest lesson learned is that when you listen to what people want and create what they ask for and not what you think they want, that it pays off. The 5 Day Challenge Workbook generated over $2000 in revenue over a weekend. That’s a huge win. And totally worth the hours I put into it. The other lesson I learned is that it’s okay to clear my schedule to work on my own stuff, and that I’m way more productive and efficient when I batch it all together like that. But the final thing I realized is that I’m actually done creating content for awhile. When I first started my business and creating the Free 5 Day Website Challenge, I launched immediately into creating a marketing course called WPOMG (Operation Marketing Genius - because I was trying to play off the BFF theme and be clever) but no one asked for it, and no one bought it. Then I changed it to the BFF Academy and added a few more courses, and I had some sales, but not many and again, it’s because I made what I thought people needed next, not what they wanted. Then I turned that into the Serious Side Hustlers membership, because I was in transition from side hustle to self employed and added a few more modules, and then I finally did a survey and found out that most of my audience didn’t think it was for them and had no idea it was about marketing. I also launched a course called “Websites That Make Money” which teaches people how to monetize from day 1, but there was still something missing because again, I created what I THOUGHT people needed next, not what they had asked for. So last year I did some surveys, and I discovered that what people want to learn is how to market themselves and be found online. And that’s exactly what every single one of my other attempts taught, but I never presented it that way. And that’s how the Website Marketing Lab was born. And THIS TIME, I actually pre-sold it and went through an entire validation process to make sure it had what people wanted to learn, and made it a step-by-step, super actionable course that wasn’t just learning a bunch of stuff and then being left on your own to figure out how to implement. And it’s doing massively well. Students are getting amazing results. And for all that time, I was in constant course creation mode. And you know what I wasn’t doing? Marketing. I talk to my Website Marketing Lab students about going from Research and Planning Mode to Create Mode to Do Mode. Research and planning is when you’re taking all the free trainings and webinars you can get your hands on, and maybe you even buy courses and actually get into them and watch the trainings. It seems like you’re doing a lot, but you’re not getting any results from it because you’re just stuck there. You never move to doing the work or making the thing. Some people move on to making the thing, but that’s where they stop. They build the website, they write all the blog posts, they set up their freebie. But they never “Launch”. They think they have to have all their ducks in a row and then they’ll plan this big “launch” but they have no audience to launch to so they get stuck in confusion and overwhelm and in create mode. Or if you’re like me, you create, create, create but you never do the work to find out if what you’re creating is anywhere close to what you should be creating. You want to skip ahead to the end where the money tree grows so you can feel the relief of everything being okay. That money tree doesn’t exist, by the way. You gotta just move from Create Mode to Do Mode. Stop working on the website, stop working on the blog posts, stop building the course that no one has asked for because you don’t have an audience yet, and start doing the work to build your audience. And Do Mode is really uncomfortable. Because now you have to put yourself out there. You have to share what you’ve created. You have to talk to other people. You worry they might say things like “Who do you think you are to teach me how to build a website? Show me your computer science degree and your extensive portfolio of uber-professional websites for millionaire business owners and MAYBE then I’ll take your free training.” But here’s the secret I’ve learned. Do Mode is where we learn the most. Do Mode is where we learn what we’re made of. It’s where we get to connect with the people we want to serve and find out how we can REALLY help them. It’s where we find out that our worst fears about ourselves either aren’t true, or that if it happens we can handle it. It’s where we stop using the excuse that we don’t have enough time or we’re overwhelmed and we just get to work. And it’s where we feel the fear and do it anyway. And Do Mode is where we get actually feedback from people who are actual potential customers and we can go back into Create Mode armed with real data about what our ideal client needs instead of creating from a place of fear and insecurity and doubt. I finally was in a Create Mode driven by data instead of “that last thing sucked, maybe this will work”. And now it’s time for me to get back into Do Mode and put it all out there. I’m Shannon, I can teach you to build a kickass website and I can show you how to market it too so that you can have whatever it is that you want out of life too. So if you’ve been stuck in research and planning mode for too long, it’s time to get to work and start creating. If you’ve been stuck in create mode, it’s time to give yourself a deadline to move into Do Mode. And if you want someone to hold your hand through all 3 phases, well, I’m your girl. Sign up for my free mini-course, “Jumpstart Your Website Traffic” at www.peptalksforsidehustlers.com/jumpstart So that’s it for my July income report. I’m getting reading to shift into full DO MODE for the rest of the year, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me! And if you or someone you know needs a website for your side hustle but you have no idea how to get started, then sign up for the free 5 Day Website Challenge where I walk you through the whole process step by step. You can sign up at www.free5daywebsitechallenge.com

Alright, you all ready to settle up then? Yeah, I THOUGHT so. Well hold on just a second, you’ve gotta enter the coupon code. No, you GOTTA! Enter it! You might save something, I mean, that’s what you’d EXPECT, right? Then what could possibly go wrong? RIGHT?! In this needlessly aggressive episode of STAB!, Jesse … Continue reading »

"Think Carefully" by Pete Sanga #28Tagline: "How cancer and thoughts can change your world for the better"It is almost like we wait for something bad to happen to wake us up. For us to really take life serious and realise each day we lose, we will never gain again. Each second we spend not being grateful, happy or fulfilled is a second wasted. Yet when something bad happens, we can sometimes have a realisation that life is important, precious and beautiful.Pete Sanga shares his story of how cancer and controlling his thoughts has massively changed his life and future. He speaks of tangible tips we can all use and incorporate to live a life of happiness, gratitude and fulfilment without having to go through cancer like he did.A truly remarkable individual who gave off a beautiful energy and had an infectious aura about him. Someone much wiser than me with experience I was grateful to have received.Some key discussion points:Cancer being a giftThe importance of your thoughts.How to change your thoughts.Practical positive daily routines.Understanding that we control more of our life than we think.Age is nothing but a number.I urge you to listen to this all the way through and implement some practical steps and tips that you can do for FREE in 10 minutes or less a day to really help you move forward in your life. These tips and tricks aren't just for cancer survivors, or people who have overcome adversity. They can and should be important practices we all take on in our life to truly make the most of this short amount of time we have on this earth.Let's all start to find our voice today and write our own stories.Let's leave our mark on this earth before it's too late.Remember tomorrow never comes.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to Pete Sanga:Amazon business Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sanga-Aromatherapy-oils-2383077878401459/Amazon businesss link: https://amzn.to/2xkLdXEFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/pete.sanga YouTube transcript[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren Deu a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren Deu what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of fine your voice myname is Aaron and as always I am thehost of the show so sitting herethinking before I released this podcastwhy is it that we always need somethingbad to happen in our lives for us toappreciate the good things or even thesmaller things the more beautiful thingsthat we often take for granted and maybethis is just a human trait but it'ssomething that I'm trying to get throughin this movement I find your voice isthat I want you guys to start livingright now and I want you to findsomething that fulfills you I want youto be happy I want to live in gratitudeyou see I put these stories out here foryou guys to listen to not to make youfeel miserable or to feel sad or startto cry I put these stories out there toshow you how lucky you are you see weare all very blessed and we're all verylucky if we choose to see it that wayyou see living in a moment of gratitudeis fantastic but living a day a week amonth a year in fact your whole life ingratitude that's just so much better andwhat I want you guys to do is to startto take on these tips that we'vementioned in this episode coming forwardbut then go back and listen to thepeople on this show who have sharedtheir story so bravely and so openly andhonestly and think about how your lifeis maybe better than their life in termsof you haven't had to suffer with canceryou haven't had to suffer with blindnessyou haven't had to be homeless forexample and then really start to look inyour own life and start to live withgratitude because that is the key yousee we're all chasing happinesshappiness is a numberone goal and it should be the number onegoal for all of us and through that wechase fulfilment as well and if you canget those two in line then you're gonnahave a fantastic life but what I don'twant you to do is to wait untilsomething bad happens I don't want youto have to experience cancer like ourguest today shares his experience and itwas actually cancer that actually gavehim his life back in almost now youcould see it he's loving his life and heopenly admits it as wellin this episode that it was cancer thatreally made him start to live again butI don't want none of us listening tothis show to have to go through cancerin order to start living because we cando it right now we can all go out thereand find our voice and really try andstart to write our own story sohopefully you guys enjoyed this episodeit was fantastic for me because it didexceed my expectations and if you do geta chance please do hit us up on socialmedia as well we are quite active anddon't forget if you get a chance as wellplease do share it with somebody else aswellto maybe inspire and motivate them to goout there and find their voice sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way I'd like to startthis show by welcoming Pete to the showand I want to thank Pete for taking timeout of his day today to come and sharehis story so Pete thank you for comingon to the show you know I'll come takeyou things like him and you're verywelcome and really appreciate it I thinkit's going to be useful for theiraudience to get to know a bit aboutyourselfso if you wouldn't mind if you can kindof give us like a summary take as longas you need in relation to the life ofPete for example tell us some of yourups tell us some of your dance and thenbasically what brings you here todayperfect no problem and hi audienceI'm glad you listen it is and well whyyou sort of story is I'm not amulti-millionaire or anything like thatfar from it but I live a verycomfortable life and it hasn't alwaysbeen like thatI mean I'm 53 years old so you canimagine when my upbringing from myparents how that was in a very strictupbringing we was always sort ofmonitored by our pens back in game dayswith the early days of very few Asiancommunity in the UK and they had to sortof build their reputation so we resortedvery close communitywe have been declawed close communityparents always took hold of what you hadto do days basically sort of had yourlife for yourselves in mahjong days andI was kind of rebellious with my dadbecause always always one that wanted todo my own thing the way I want to butcourse you have to have respect for yourparents and sort of listen to them aswellso I as I said Oh print being invadeit's a tight community Asian communityand as a site to sort of get older andgoing to school into sort of sixteenseventeen this is where I sort ofstarted to understand that you know Idon't want to follow the footsteps of myparents and Adorno follow the footstepsof my brothers and sisters and GauravUniversity or anything like that Ididn't want to be stuck behind a deskwhen that's what my parents wanted to beI was more inclined to sort of lookingto I used to see it market and I thinkwow I want to do that I don't want to dothat and you know that's how my thoughtswere and so as I got to about 16 17 Istarted kind of rebelled against what myparents wanted and but again same thingyou know you have to have some elementof respect for your pen so I stillfollowed them and I'll put till the agessort of 21 ish when I got married andand we then brought her family businessand and again we started working in thefamily business but it's not somethingthat I wanted it wasn't for me so eventhough I worked in there and putting thehours as long with my with my brothersand it's not something that I wanted todo and what really changed my mindor changed me was when I became ill whenit was about round about 25 and at thattime I had two children and one of themhere and well two boys and I had contactand sort of that's where that's whatreally changed my perspective about lifeand because when you fall into I mean ohno people about cancer and they've curedand they've come every but the initialshock of that was like wow you know Imean I remember sitting on the stagewith my wife and I'm telling my wife andI'm sitting there crying my eyes outthinking and your whole life goes byhere and especially when things likethat I mean nowadays you know they somany curious for so many diseases butwhen you're looking when you're goingback 20 odd years there was there wasn'tas many curious so you know you havethis flashback of your life and youthink wow I'm not gonna be here what'smy kids gonna do and all these thoughtsstart to run through your head and youknow and I remember sitting under stairsand said crying I like that and what dadcame in and he looked at this and hewent there what's the matter what youcrying for and at all my dad okay my hogand even though and he was sort ofstrong I could see sense that he it wasone of them things like wow you knowthis is happening to my son and sayingyou ever went through a treatment andchemotherapy and he was in and out ofhospital I lost a lot of weight and Iyou know sort of kind of lost confidenceas well because I was what I would saywas a greatly confident person but I wasquite confident in myself and I've lostall my confidence as well and my sistershe gave me a book which was there yourguardian angels and as a while I was inhospital I started to read this guide inangels thinking what's this about youknow guardian angels and you justtotally changed my life in the sense ofwe've just read good just reading thebook I thought wow this is there suchthing as this guardian angel is theresuch thing as a spiritual world andthat's why where my spirituality cameout and from there you should have sortof started to progress and as I cameonce I was out of hospital and had donemy chemotherapy and fetal healthy I knewthat I had to do my own thing my own wayand I wanted to be and how I canprogress it wasn't always easy becauseyou always you have this and how prettyyou have this education or you have thisyour your upbringing embedded into youyou see so then they're deep into yoursubconscious mind so they alwaysflop back out and you start to thinkwell should I should I or shouldn't Ibut I know I wanted to move away fromthe family and do my own thing and whichis sort of what I started to do gonnajust pause for a bit or we can jump inthere so there are a couple of things inrelation to that so you always knew froma very young age you mentioned like from1617 you were you're probably differentto your siblings yeah you want to dosomething different and I kind of Icould resonate with that myself so I wasforced in inverted commas to kind of gothrough the academic route because I wasvery I could pick up things very quicklyyeah I didn't want to do any of thatit was never my interest I always wantto kind of go against the grain I wantto be a boxer I wanted to do you cry Iwant to do all the stuff I said ontelevision but he has different stuffand there was an element that I supposesomewhere along the line I kind ofresented the decisions and I was havingto like make my parents happy rathermake myself happy fortunately for me Ididn't have to experience kind sir inorder to really be like okay now I needto just do what's done for me and itkind of seems like cancer was your kindof wake-up call a mass of thingdo you know what I have to look aftermyself yeah and put myself first and itwas it's quite emotional for me justthinking about that moment when you'resitting on the stairs and you and you'retelling your family is stuff I justthought this is just giving you a bookabout the guardian angel and stuff Ithink that's come probably a good timebecause I absolutely did you agree thatif that come it should give you thatbook yeah we'll probably thought once itchanges your perception of do you knowchange started to change the way I'llthink and I need all honesty when Istart to read the book and I started tosort of understand each chapter one at atime I thought wow you know this isamazing can this really be possiblecould you elaborate on something fromthat or something that you maybe do nowyeah of course yeah and so what I'velearnt from that book was of course itstarted to open other doors and otheravenues in Lord of Attraction as aspeople know it I don't know there's alot of it back now whereas when we wasyounger it was it wasn't it wasn't aboutwhat he's still about but we wasn'taware of him but he's a lot more aboutof it often now so and then you know Idon't know thousands if not millions ofpeople's heard of the secret and so thenthatbook came into my hands and it was itjust happened to be that I went onto acourse and which is an angel course andhis spiritual core so as I went thereand this is the lady that was conductingit her name was Angela so and she toldus about this secret and the secretwebsite so I wrote it downsuza go home was sort of jumped on thewebsite got the thing he got the DVDbecause there's gotta be somethingindecent what's what's so good aboutthis or anyway are played it and thenwhat made my two boys what it sat therewatching me and I was totally sort ofenclosed in this secret because thatwhat they were saying is your thoughtsbecome your reality this was for me itwas like a turning point because Ithought wow if that was the case and wowI can create anything the one was withthe kids they were still young therewasn't sort of so much interested in itand so that's where he progressed fromso now you know I have a special routinein the morning and a follow every dayand it's all due to this I guess I cancall it positive thing times Olivia andit's all due to these positive thinkingand you know when you start to think ina certain way certain doors will startto open for youbut you have to trust in your way ofthinking and you have to trust inyourself even though all throughout lifeand even in today's day and age and howfast forward we have become even todayyou still have their thoughts you stillhave to battle with your own mindbelieve it or not and with your negativethought you know you're constantlyfighting against them and like I said toyou know before we started you know youhave a thought you sort of you sort ofhave a negative thought if you like andbefore you know it your negativethoughts your your conscious mindstarting tell you something and beforeyou know you're not that's spiraled intoyour hair before blonde conversationswith yourself you know you're sitting inyour car and you're home or whatever andyou're talking to yourself and you'rehaving this complex it's conversationwith yourself and you're sort offighting with yourself you know onevoice against another and I don't knowif that makes sense you know you sort offighting with yourself and you reallyhave to start to understand your thoughtand that's one of the thingslearn to do is understand my thoughtsand when I'm having a thought like thatI instantly think to myself okay this isthis is the right thought no it's notand I'll stop put a stop to the Thorntonright away because you are in control ofyour own thinking nobody else controlsit for you so you know what you arethinking so if you start to realize thatyou was thinking something that's hasn'teven happened you can stop that thoughtright away when you stop it do youreplace it with something or replace ityeah you have to replace it withsomething positive say for example ifyou're having an emotional thought let'sjust say something bad happened you knowyou you're on your way you've got aparking ticket or you or something likethat you don that's a negative thing andthe first thing you do when you get aparking tickets in your effing andblinding station and and you know andyou know then that you know be from thatanger anything of blinding thinking thatyou know it starts to escalate so if youright away realize all and this is thisis not right it you know what's whatcould be good about there having aparking ticket and then think ofsomething that these positive factorsare negative so when you start to thinkof something positive I'm an 18 it couldwell be this you might have had aparking ticket you might have grabbed aparking ticket God to speak todayconductor or whatever I'm bumped intosomebody who you spontaneously you knowbumped into somebody who is we put yourright you know you and you might haveyou know anything could have happenedwith those gratitude in having a carabsolutely yeah yeah anything you knowanything but as long as you sort ofrealize that you're having this negativethought and without letting this spunout of control with hundreds of otherthoughts stop it right away stop it andchange you to find a positive in thatnegative like I said it could be thatyou've got you could be grateful to youyou've got him you come to meet make ameeting absolutely if that you know hewas worried about your parking ticketthen you might not have gone on to thatmeeting and gain somethingokay knowledge or whatever it is youknow so if there's always a positive ina negative and that's what you have tosort of learn to do it's not the easiestthing in the world who is there but withpractice it becomes perfect that'sinteresting because this is justmeanness or cancers effectivemy family is taking members of my familyaways it's affecting my family some ofthem now so a very negative connotationtowards cancer I sometimes put myself ina position and think if I was to everget cancer or something but a particularpoint I just can't help but think that Iwill feel sorry for myself at some stagehave you ever felt that yeah you do as Isaid that you know it's it's it's notyour normal yeah absolute normal youknow you can't control your thoughts toa degree well you can you can't becausewhen something as severe as cancer orother illness hit you you can't see anyway out so of course it's not so foranybody to think you know how would Ifeelbut as I said earlier on you know you weare you are in control of your thoughtsas long as you don't put emotion intosomething it can never happen it's onlyemotion that creates your reality whenyou paint a picture of what you want andhow you want your life to be yourconscious and your subconscious minddoesn't know the difference betweenright and wrongit just doesn't know the difference itonly responds to what your want pictureyou're painting it so when you're youngas I said you know your pet your parentshave painted how your picture is goingto be so your subconscious mind thenwhen your conscious mind then has tobuild your life around your parentspicture or the picture that you'vecreated or they're created not just yourparent it's society its schooleverything and anything after the sortof ages 10 when you develop fullydevelop your conscious mind after theage of 10 anything after that is whatyour picture has been built on based onyour school your parenting or andsociety itself you know you have to sortof try to understand your thoughts youthink there's a lot and as long as youcan control or though what you'rethinking you can always change it thehardest part of changing something isthat you have to change all your softconscious if people understand what thatmeans if they don't then I went tohighly recommendlooking into that because it's a veryvery powerful part of us it's a part ofour mind and can create reality for youso if you don't understand whatsubconscious is then I so stronglysuggest that you go out and listen to oreven you know we books on that if youdon't like reading like me listen toaudiobooks I love listening yeahmotivation you see and you can learn alot from it so that's what you reallyhave to do you have to sort of thinkabout what you're thinking about thinkabout what you're thinking about all thetime and then stop when you start itwhen you start having it sort of anegative thoughts stop that and thenthink of a positive what could be thepositive thing what is it that you wantin life to change the picture that yourparents have built or society is builtfor you changing that jigsaw yourconscious mind doesn't want to change ajigsaw because you imagine you've made agreat massive jigsaw puzzle here andyou're trying to take the middle of thatjigsaw puzzle add and change it and howhard would it be to change that jigsawpuzzle so that's why your conscious mindis constantly fighting with you to stopyou doing that any fight with you bysending yeah but what if this happensthis is gonna happen this is gonnahappen and reality is just all you'redoing it fighting with you know elseisn't it yeah yeah so that's how yousort of change you know reality that'sbrilliant that's that's powerfulthat's something actually that's foranyone that is this and there's a bookcalled the chip paradox and he actuallyexplains it so it's quadratures paradoxof what he says is you have the chimpwhich is your like your subconsciousthrough then you have a computer whichis kind of the logical side of you butwhat he says is the chimp is morepowerful yeah and it's unless we controlthis chimp whether it's through changingour thought processes and the thingsthat we were taught to believeabsolutely absolutely then the chainsgoing to take over runs on it and that'sexactly what happens we do 95 90 95percent of our societyand yeah yeah you like absolutely yourchip will always try to control what itwants you to do but deep down if youstart to understand it anything ispossible but even having said that it'snot just his thoughts it's it's agratitude you have to put into thingyou know I mean I once all grateful forI mean I can explain sort of you knowwhat my routine isn't when I get a bunchof virtually the next thing so yeah yeahthe routine yeah so for myself what I dowhen I get up in the morning my generalroutine I mean on the early riser somore put three o'clock in the morningand one of the things I've learned andI'll never ever do is put the snoozebutton on now that I ever put snoozebutton or people do that but that's nota really a positive thing to do you knowyou as soon as oh yeah my alarm goes offI'm out of bed my feet hit the floor andthe first thing I do is I put my headtogether and then I go thank you so muchfor another day ahead of me and he'sfeeling that gratitude of another daywhether that day is gonna be the same asyesterday or not matters not it'sanother day I listen to a lot ofaffirmations in the morning as well sowhen you get up in the morning what Ilearned is that your subconscious mindyour conscious mind hasn't quite kickedin so you're still in your subconsciousand state so when you start to feed yoursubconscious state with positiveaffirmations your day will flowperfectly so first thing I'll do is ofgovernment phone I'll put my headphoneson I'll get dressed and I start to playaffirmations positive affirmations oreven relaxing music just to calm I'mlike that and so while I'm goingtesticle have a yeah you know I meanI'll have a shower in the night in caseyou think I think I've had a shower inthe night and so while I'm brushing myteeth I'll still got this headset on soI'll put 20 minutes or so I've got thisheadset on listening to affirmations andwhile I'm having breakfast on listen toaffirmations and I Drive to worklistening to an audiobook and um howyour mind works there's some great booksout there no doubt you've heard of manyof them I love listening to if you don'tmind the answer yeah actually you knowsomeone a box I mean I love listening toThink and Grow Rich by Napoleon HaydenI'm sure millions of poverty read a bookand the other book I think is fantasticand people should really haven'tis the science of getting rich by whatis what'll again it's it's it's heexplained it's a science of game richand it's a great book to if you I meanyou can buy it but if you don't want tobuy it you can get on YouTube and inlisten to it so for forty minutes fromall the way to work on listening to D soI'm always trying to feed my mind withpositive affirmations positive vibes allthe way to work and obviously onceyou've done your work come back home onmy way back home I'm genuinely back onfor about seven in the morning so I'mone ear out at the house for a few hoursand when I'm back home I take the dogfor a walkanother relaxing way to do that and thenI get when I'm when I'm home obviously aboo gone to work by then and then I domy meditation and we solved for the nexthour and so I sit there and I focus whatI want out of life and how I want mylife to be and so I do a meditation thenlisten to some great meditation musicagain you can get on YouTube if youdon't I use one called calm on iTunes itis one that you have to pay for whatyeah it's absolutely fantastic I sawmany on there it's great but as I saidthere's lots of free ones you know youjust have to find one that resonateswith you so once of a sort of listenedand once I've done my own meditation Igenerally fall asleep for an hour songtwo hours and so it's in a sort of fallasleep for about a couple of hours andthen back up to ten o'clock I've startedto do exercises now when I hadn't beforeeven though when I was younger I spent alot of time exercising but when I gothere I sort of lost confidence inxdesign so i starting to sort of carryback into exercising nothing bank am buti have so for ten o'clock consider do 20minutes of sort of general exercise andand and ice get on go about Monday I'llstart work about two o'clock again tohave two and once again I'll start Ionly listen or try to listen toaudiobooks you know any kind of audioBob Proctor is another fantastic I meanhe's amazing you know I know he's on thesecret but he's so he's been doing thisfor 50 years and he's somebody knowswhat they're talking abouthe is a man that knows what he's talkingabout and so I listen to a lot and a lotof his and audio books I listen to a lotof time Roberts and again and does agreat motivator so I'm always listeningto these books and that awesomewhilst I'm at work I generally come homearound 1:00 to finished up getting homefor seven have a meal I try to relax bywatching not so much TV programs butmore very old-fashioned God programs ifyou like and and the reason of watchthem is because it's it's it explains toyou that what we have now has alwaysbeen there but we just we just didn'trealize it so it's in resonates back toyou how you can move forward with whatwe have well I've always had and thegenerally don't got a bed and again onceagain I've always got to sleep at nightand before I go to sleep I just bethankful for my whole day you know Ithink about all the the thing I've donetoday even though my day routine isgenerally the same and I might have metsomebody new there so I always sort ofgratitude to everything I have even mymeals or sit down and I'm you know youwhen I say gratitude because he'sgratitude is part of development so ifyou're not grateful for something thenhow can you be grateful for what youwant to something so you really have tobe grateful for and I know there's lotsof people there's a wall I can't begrateful until I get this box if that'sthe way you're thinking as we spokeearlier on you're only gonna get more ofwhat you're putting out so if you'rethinking I'm not grateful for somethingyour only your your subconscious mindonly sees that you're not grateful forsomething and you know you're feelingsad about something so he thinks ah okayoh yeah it's not about this I'll giveyou more of that so that's how yourcontent works and fall asleep againlistening to youmusic until the next day I don't knowfalling asleep so in the middle of thenight when this thing he's office stillgot my head said oh we should take offpretty so and then you know so that's mydaily routine every day yes it's almostlike the curse of cancer that came intoyour life has always made your lifebetter totally think shame because itthat's it for me it took for me to getill to get where I am I mean you know Ihad a business which and was almost gonealmost bankrupt me because I reallystruggled but had it not been for whatI'd learned over the years I think thatI would have really got into itdepression but because of what I learnedover the years when I did have mybusiness and that didn't work as well asI expected it to and it's just one ofthem things and yes I worried a lotabout it and opera and Laura's worryingin the family put up trying to keep itaway from them as well because I didn'twant them to feel under pressure to helpand there was absolutely fantastic youknow hats off to my family then theystepped in and they sort of we workedtogether and you know and it's anotherthing that I think I should point out isthat when you have when you when you'reworried about something and even worriedabout not telling your parents ortelling your family it's a wrong thingto do because if your family is alwaysthere to understand and support you andjust it's surprising how much taken justjust by taking or talking to somebodyhow much of a burden you can take offyour shoulders and that's what I did yousee but just boy even though they didn'tsort of okay here we'll do this withthis but just talking to them took awayso much of my worries and but as I saidif it wasn't for what I've learned overthe previous year is about beingpositive I wouldn't have come out ofthat business feeling better for myselfand you know going on six or seven yearsnow more than that now here 10 years orso moving forward 10 years you know I'vecreated another great business you knowII'm really happy within them andprogress it's always because you have toprove you have to think of yourself andyour family and move forward with themabsolutely so a couple of good pointsday is born obviously it's easier saidthan done but we shouldn't have to waitfor a cancer or death or something youknow like these are simple things thatevery single one of us on a daily basisand so I ask this question can start todo it's not gonna take us long to justsit there for best part of two threeminutes and just think of all the thingswe're grateful for every single morningand it slowly become easier thenobviously throughout the day we'llnotice more and more things yeah andthen listening to positive stuff sohopefully people listening to this canjust take on this now yeah rather thanhave to wait for something bad in partand then just live in this on what it'salmost like a bliss because you justappreciate every single momentabsolutely right sometimes we will gothrough life and six months tormentsurpassed and you've never really livedin the moment because you've won binanxious about the past and to you I sawyou anxious about the future untilyou've been depressed about the past soit's a dangerous place to be absolutelyit's almost like living in today youalso said talking to people so this issomething that I actually mentioned on aprevious podcast so I struggled withanxiety struggled a lot with overwhelmand similar to yourself I'm trying ityou look after my family I'm trying tocomfort my wife and my siblings and Idon't want to put the burden on them mymom suffered in depression so she'sloved a best friend by the same time Idon't want to have any stress there aswell but then sometimes if it's too muchand I do speak to her yeah she doesn'tsolve the problem but I felt so muchbetter which she feels better that Icould buy dinner yeah same with myfriends or my wife whoever I speak to ittalking is so powerful it's a massivemassive thing but as humans what I meanconnection speaking is it's part of usand because the song takes a turn thatfollows 24 so absolutely we will lose aconnectionabsolutely I think you know that's againlike you said you know is you when youtalk into somebody somebody when youhold it in yourself you're creatingnothing but bad feelings for yourselfbut when you're let that energy outyou've it's almost as if you've left letout and a massive ball of negativeenergy you know that's how you gotacidity is a and you know and it's hardsometimes understand you know certain 16certain things in such a situation yousometimes find it hard totalk to somebody but the best wayforward and I've always found is thatyou know if you can't talk to yourfamily then talk to somebody who'sconfused you're close with you know justtake that off your chest and it makesyou feel so much better and your mindwill always fight you against it becausethey want you to hold and I know itsounds bad do you thinking to yourselfwell why wouldn't my mind want to dothat for me and it's always one see italways sort of and give you a picture ofoh yeah but if you if you told decentI'm gonna do this ad singly and you knowyou but you're creating something hasn'teven happened creating scenario you knowwe're going back again you know creatinga picture of what you want if you wantif you want to if you finally difficultto talk to somebody then imagine it inyour head and I know those who have readand Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hillof one of the things he used to do washe used to have a board meeting and withsome of the richest people in the worldin his head not physically with in yourhead and I mean he could if you canimagine something like that so and it'seasy to imagine thing you know you couldyou can imagine something like like justlike that if I said to you now think ofa pink elephant instantly you'll bethinking of a pink elephant if you'resaying stick your face in the kitchenyou'll be thinking of that so you cancreate emotion to that yeah absolutelyabsolutely without emotion there's lotsof elements that you have to puttogether for the law of attraction towork emotion is one of them gratitude isanother one the positive thinking isanother one and individually you knowimage in your head and what you wantyour life to be is another one when youstart to combine these things togetherthat's when your life starts to changeof people using this Lord of Attractionhas changed in life totally change yourlife around within 12 months just by Imean it takes 30 days to create thething is with life itself which we'vecreated habits and hobbies can bechanged it takes time to change habitsbut habits can be changedI love that and the final point I justwant to add to that is you mentioned abusiness that you've just started thatyou're very happy with we have anotherbusiness because we've got the productson there it's probably packed in one ofthese boxes now because we're movinghouse not okayjoining just share that briefly justwith the ordinance a lot when I firstheard about it I was like that's quitean innovative is quite interesting okaystraight away can you just starting fromscratch sure yeah yeah and others heredo I do my full time I guess it's a jobbut it's not job because he's stillself-employed and do my parcel businessbut always wanted to be sort of anonline trader so what I started to dowas I looked at ways I can make moneyonline Amazon was a biggest platform soI was learned how to sort of startedlooking more into how Amazon works andso I learned how to through theirlearning program and he can learn Lee toAmazon sort of learned how to sellproducts on Amazon and that's what I'mmoving forward with and I've got aproduct on there now which and which isaromatherapy oils but he's one of themthings that sort of well it's a bit of arisk to take but again if you wantsomething to happen you have to have apositive outcome of it and so I startedto understand and learn a lot aboutAmazon and how they were what what to doand learnt the coursethey've had to promote the product howwhere to find a product had to getproduct once I understood all that I'mstill learning from it's not somethingthat yeah fully understood I'm stilllearning from them I started as I said Iimported my first product and it's beengreat you know really has my wife usesit I think that's actually okay yeah itis a great product done yeah just onthat as well so soft and you hear peoplethinking they can't do nothing we haveall these limiting beliefs and they seewhat we can do in life and yeah you justthought okay I wanted to start abusiness and you probably wouldn't youprobably just figured it out along theway yeah you are not selling a productunless that's a lesson to anyone like ifthis is something you want with theright mindset and then obviously theaction nothing impossible without actionyou know you it's no good having theoldest mindset yeah positive thinkingwhen you take no action you you know youhave to take action if it's somethingthere's somelooking to do you know sell online itdoesn't have to be Amazon there's lotsof other platforms on thereI chose Amazon because I was on is deepBiggie's platform to sell and I choseAmazon because I found it you can I canI don't have to store the product at allI'll send it to their warehouseeverything they deal with a moment yeahabsolutely and their fulfillment centerthat deal with the customers they dealwith the returns of course anything thatis returned luckily for me I finally hadone product returned in all the onesthat have sold and then they theycontact you so you have nothing you knowthat this is the biggest fear withpeople they think well how can I startoh I'm Christie what about customerseries what about this but this withAmazon they deal with all that with youyeah of course they target fee which isunderstandable but you have to find aproduct then you can now incorporate allthat and you can make and still make aprofit out of it you know you you knowyou could there's lots of people onAmazon that making great massive massivemonthly incomes and it's it is possibleand you just have to trust in yourselfto do it and that's the hardest thingtrusting yourselfif it's something that you know it's forthe listeners if something that you'repassionate about then use that productuse that as a product absolutely I wantyou to put that in there because I'veseen you use the product as well yeah soit's not like a shameless plug or anyyeah yeah it's inspiring because if Iask someone say for instance my dad ormy own course or something do that thefirst thing that says all are configuredI don't know about the internet and wehave a lot of people in the audience wejust automatically have exclusivestraightaway absolute is always it'sjust refreshing to hear somebody justsay you know what what it actually showsthat everything you're putting inpractice in your daily routines like theaffirmation is opposed to thinking yeahyou put it into practice any practice oryou foods I think that's the thing withall the community because I mean I'm 53and if I can make changes at 53 peopleat that age if not youngerI mean exactly majority to preparepeople you know once they get past fortyforty five to think that's it I thinkthe life is overyou can't progress you can't learn youthe game started yeah it's just startingand I just gain started don't letthings top of you because when you'reyoung you have a whole you could you gotyour whole life in front of you whenyou're 40 your passport you're gettingclose to 50 you think that you've onlygot a few years but just in a few yearsif you with the right mindset it justwithin a few years you can change thewhole life around if that's what youwant being all free absolutely peopleare living longer now resolve of courseyeah yeah definitely Brit okay thank youfor that so we spoke about diversityquite a bit and we spoke obviously thebusiness stuff we spoke about thepersonal health problems as well if youcould just choose one of your biggestlessons that you've learned from thatexperience so I'm going that you had themindset of something but if you can justsay to somebody maybe who's experiencedin it now or going through term orwhether it's cancer or any other illnessif you can just give them one lessonthat you've taken from that situation Iwould say that you know just as hardwhen giving that situation but just tryto see things as I say just try and lookat the light at the end of the tunnelyou know just try to focus on yougetting better you moving forward youwanting the thing that you want insteadof focusing on something and Iunderstand that it's hard because I'vebeen there and but just try to listenand the best way did it one of the otherthings I absolutely love doing is I lovelistening to music that I love becausehe just makes you feel so much betterso if you are going through a tough timelisten to your favorite song don't losesight of you joy yeah something that youenjoy listening to listen to a rock soyou know not so much a rock song in thesense of rock song I mean something thathas a fantastic you know I always findthat that helps me to feel better so andyeah you know just just try to staypositive really you know it's a toughsituation to be more you just have tolearn to stay positiveyeah that's brilliant thank you for thatI'm in this particular moment right thissecond what is your biggest fear andfear is another to say this now becausefear is just a thought it's just thoughtthat can be told controlled when youhave a fear you can always change yourfeeling too and onso I try to avoid having a fear becauseI'm not saying don't not worried aboutanything I'm always worried about thefuture and have I done enough too butwhen I pass how I done enough on thisearth for those were living here now forwhen I pass that means my biggestconcern blooded and I fear because Ithink when you use the word fear I don'tknow a lot of people do but I from whatI've learned one of the things Iunderstand these learn to understandthese fear it's just a word it's a wordthat's used by everybodyso when somebody uses the word fear youinstantly think the worst of somethingso no no that's not what you wanted tohear but I think that they when you usethe word fear you sort of think of theworst but to me don't think of the wayfear and it's hard not to but don'tthink of me think of something think ofit as a unless fear forward if you likebut yeah well my biggest concern is howabout done enough on earth and for thosecoming okay that's one of my biggestinterested and has that purpose of yoursthat why without motivation to leave theworld given as much as usually has thatonly stemmed since again that I don'twant to keep touching on it but theyHansard incident absolutely yeah yeahyeah and that's interesting because alot of people I find that go throughadversity in life or have been throughhardship they almost become selfless andthey just want it almost in that momentwhen they're so great for this stuffthey want to give back more yeah yeah Ithink before that we kind of do live aselfish life yeah absolutely because I Iwas kind of selfish I only reallythought about myself I didn't eventhough I've respected what my pen said Iwould kind of well my life I could dowhat I like or no and even you knowgoing back down I remember my fathersitting me down once and he went and hesaid you know you're going down thewrong path because I started gettinginvolved with the wrong people he saidyou're gonna shame us and he was likethat backing when I was growing up hesaid you're gonna put shame on us andyou're gonna end up in prison because hethought I was gonna end up in prison andbut I you know I was not but I wanted todo what I want to docare about that I just want to do what Iwant to do for what I dye my hair with adime appears like yeah you can't stop meeven though respecting him when I didn'tdo a pop it was one of the thoughts ofhim that was going through her head andso ya can say for me cancer was thebiggest biggest thing that changed andmaybe that's what I neededyou know things they were say the thingscome for a reason maybe that is what Ineededthat's a wake-up call this is why Iactually love like I love dis as part ofmy job because I get to meet people atyou and without having to go through thepain and that you've been through yeahit inspires me so much like this isinspiring but I have sometimes will betalking and I'll be like episode 4so-and-so said this how dare I feelsorry for myselfyeah I'm it doesn't get me through theday and I'll always think I'm blessedbecause when I'm gonna have him speak tosomebody I always get to meet a newfriend and a new person that I form arelationship and then it just changed myperspective because I'm like I'm so muchmore grateful even now just for likehealth see you perfectly because he'sjust pointed it out you know you washaving there we're gonna use the wordnegative again we're having dailythought about something and yet youinstantly realized you was and thenchange it into something positive bysaying about somebody such as 50 centsor how dare Iand it's absolutely like you know thisthere's so many people in this worldthat are worse off than you yeah youknow you other than those who arehomeless and you know this is one of thethings I want to do and as I get betterand better and you know be able to do itis to help the homeless because unlessyou're homeless and God not you if along as you go roof of your hand yesit's always tough if you haven't got ajob and I know it's a big thing and abig concern but yeah if you got a roofover you should be gratefulalways be playing with without gratitudeabsolutely can't move forward and Ithink I think that's that's a brilliantpoint I think it's something though wedo have to do every day because againadversity everything he goes foreveryone's life and I've had momentswhen but death happens all of a suddenfor that month but you're you you'regrateful for everything and you knowlife's too short please share everythingbut then you get very quickly back intotheir old habits happy so that's why Ialways readit should be like a day absolutely youtouch on the homeless thing so I'm I'mvery fortunate my parents are very likeloving people so we foster children andit's laughs okay well you're my sisterthen we adopted and my mom tried toadopt every single kid that coming tothe house and laughs there's no room inthe house so I've got like three whitesiblings and we've got Asian sister aswell was adopted and seeing them andseeing like their issues in terms oflike disabilities there weremalnutrition when they first came thereTestament disorders it made me sograteful like it changed my whole lifeso I gave good-paying jobs to becomelike a social worker to effectivelychange the world and it changed but thenwhat happened was when I got married andI moved into my house here we're sittingtoday yeahdon't my siblings I think about themevery single day but I don't live withthem every day to end that feeling ofgratitude every single day okaywhereas before I never had to remindmyself please job like this a nice thingpoor Kyle he might never be able todrive a car he'll never be able to dothis yeah and he used to make me feelgrateful yeah so it is something I thinklike anything like if you don't lookafter your health every single day it'sgonna deteriorate absolutely I think weshould always try and I think that's thebiggest issue and you get to a certainstage and when you're happy with yourlife you tend to start to forget aboutthat is you know just another quickpoint is you know it's not a religiousthing or I don't want to win anybodyhere but when when something bad younever think about God you go about yourday to day business but when somethingbad happens you straight away you'regoing and pray to God you know God isthere every single day yet you forgetand I know most people don't but themajority do you know they forget thathe's there every day and I even thoughI'm not a I'm a spiritual person and youknow it doesn't matter what you are deepdown with all the same so when you haveto pray to somebody then pray to themevery day if you want to if you feelthat God is your way forward and thenpray to God every day be thankful to himthat you got me walk every day not justa day that you're feeling down or youfind a bad day or you've lost your catyou lost your dog or anything else youknow every single day should be a daywhere you grateful with gratitude 100%you alcohol I think that's beautifulmessage I think it's something that I'mprobably cure you have I remember as akid man if I thought was gonna get introuble bug my parentslike God please get me through this daynever do it again I'm sure we've allkind of done yeah I thought okaybrilliant so we're actually at the funpart of the show is what I called it soit's again quickfire round of 60 to 90seconds depending when I apply you outbasically I just random questions okayare we all ready yeah okay we're gonnago in three two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be oh yeah yourfavorite beer butter oh yeah yourbiggest role model Oh baby what wouldyou like to be remembered for the good Idid your biggest goal this year to besuccessful and help us your worstmistake not doing Eternia if you couldrelive one day again what day would itbe the very first day I was bornthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible the number one thing thatannoys you but habits and when your fameneither your proudest moment my childrenyour favorite foodgot a visual icing chicken would yourather speak or languages or speak toanimals what's your favorite song at theclub by the Drifters and if you had anextra hour a day how would you spend itmeditating Netflix or YouTube Netflixand the final question is the number onepiece of advice you would give to yourchildren just be yourself okay brilliantso we're approaching towards the end ofthe show now and just two more questionsthat I always like to ask my guest thenext one's about reflection I saw thisis in hindsight obviously we learn wayswhere we can get to places quicker withless heartache or by saving money forexample so if you could go back knowingeverything that you know now and allyour words of wisdom and everything thatwe've spoken about in the show to ayounger time when maybe you wereconfused or going through a time whereyou had no clarity in your life yeah andyou can just whisper something in theyounger piece yeah yeah did you say goneback if I had and I think that this mayyou know I was thinking these yes noweven though I would tell myself that thefuture is what you create the Tippie soif you want your future to be betterpaint that picture in your head andthat's what I would whisper to myselfpaint the picture of how you want yourlife to be and it will create itthat's Brittany I think the more watersthe develop my dream and stuff as wellthat's more what I try and do is I likevision board and stuff and I think Ithink maybe as children as well we dothat but there's somewhere betweenchildhood when you've got that innocenceto growing up yeah we tend to lose it Ithink the vision boards are fantasticand I think that a great thing to havebecause it gives you a idea of how youwant your life to be but the whole timeto that to that is when somebody makes avision board they forget that they canchange that vision board and once you'velooked at it a few times it's just theresitting on the wall of what I tend to dois I've read my goals every morning I'llhave a book written in there what I wantmy average day to be like and I read thebook everything is pretty detailed ofhow I would like to be and I sit downand read it and if there's something alot I don't like in it I always draw itout and change it and I think withthings like vision boards and eventhough I did a great thing like I saidbut vision boards is a massive pictureof you know I feel Bree wants to bemulti millionaire and they know we'renear there it's it's an image where youthink well I'm not gonna get there butif you take small steps because visionboards can be expanded it can be changedbut I think people when who make visionboards are I'm not sure about yourselfof people who make vision boards tendnot to change it so then look at it onceor twiceliterally for a month or so after that -forget the vision boards he's there butyou know going forward it's not it's nota bad thing I'm not saying would yourecommend them having a two year goalit's about building confidence so ifyou're gonna like your goal down foryourself or goals down for yourself andyou've written a goal to say let's justsay for argument's say you're gonna havea million pound in a year and people dolike gods like now because the thing -what if I could create anything oragreat that create that I'm not sayingit can't be created but if y'all haven'tbut if you're not if you're not in linewith your positive thinking creatingthat video path is going to be difficultbut if you say to yourself I want tocreate a slightly similar goal so say afew sectors up I want to10,000 pounds a month 10,000 pound amonth is far achievable easilyachievable because your work hard racketabsolutely once you achieve your 10,000pounds a month you've put it and have abooster then draw your goal pika make ittwenty thousand their next month and youknow no no there's lots of people outthere don't think well I want to be amillionaire and I want to beat in a yearand but you didn't learn to speak andyou didn't know how long did it take youto learn to walk how long did it takeyou to do things now you know justgenerally to do things it takes 12 yearsfor you to go through school and learnall the things in school you're notgoing to become successful in a yearwell I'm not so don't get me wrong sorryI apologize for that it's not you're notgoing to be your mindset isn't brightguitar pitch there won't be a nomineesthat will obviously do it for the vastmajority of us we have to develop one asphere is changing one our mindset one Ihelp everything needs a line is haveyeah and we need to increase theconfidence and our skill set in all ofthose yeah and one of the things that II suppose I've suffered with I saw Idon't do vision boards myself is that nopeople do is when I used to have thesebig goalssomewhere along their journey if you'retrying to be like an entrepreneur tryingto find your way life yeah when yourealize how far you are from you goesyou become very dissatisfied to me andtrying to think of the right words forit be they the lack of motivation yeahbecause you think I'm just so far awayfrom it and even though you might havecome so far the J yank yeah you forgethow far you've come because you'relooking to have my uni heroso this is what I'm saying about visionboards you see becausevision boards are a great thing but ifyou're making a vision board and yourjourney is to be you know a supersuccessful entrepreneur but you're onlyhere you're not seeing absolutely howyou come you you're looking at that andyou you kind of can't get demotivatedbecause you know with anything it can'tbe change but if you're making a goalthat stopped being absolute but you'rehere so that's why that's my adviceno I think that's great advice is so ifwe use the analogy that IowaI can relate to very quickly is healthand fitness so everyone wants a six-packin just absolutely the number onequestion I always get a song that'sabsolutely fine we can get you asix-pack we can help you but it startswith one rep in the gymyeah starts with you going to the gymthat one day yeah and you can't ever getthere any quicker no matter how much youwould have to do that ripyeah then unfortunately you have to do alot of them reps and yeah you can't justdo one on one day you can't just sithere for 24 hours or let's do sit-upsanother city like the world it's aprocess and it's about understandingthat so yeah I think that's it it's apretty answer good answer and thatcertainly actually brings us to the lastquestion and the last question is if in150 years science fails to save us andnone of us are here and it's justhopefully my podcasts by then all thatremains is a book and this book is aboutyou everything in your life or the goodthings you've done or the wonderfulthings and all the people's lives you'vetouched and everything yeah what wouldthe back of the book tell us to makesomebody want to pick it up about youand also what would the title be well Ithink if I was who write a book thetitle of my book would have to be a caryou say Think and Grow Rich butsomething along the lines you knowthoughts I would say I would say it'shard to sort of define them an actualname for the Papa I would say somethingalong the lines of use your thoughtswell think carefully and think aboutwhat you want you know it's hard todefine a name think carefully that'sthat's quite interesting yeah it's sortof something along them lines and withthe back of the book create the lifethat you want by thinking history youknow think about how you painted apicture painting an image on your lifecreate an image of how you want what youlike to be it's hard to sort of it'sfine to be honest I think everythingthat you've said in this episode haskind of told us about the nerve of ityeah and I think the probably the mostimportant thing like you said it's thinkcarefully yeah because you realizedthrough your trials in tribulations isthat if your thought processes thatmanifesto LSU and make your existenceand everything but yeah I think that'sthe biggest thing really you know whenyou're somebody's gonna pick somethingup they're gonna think about what theyare doing what about you as a person howwould you how would you want to beremembered I would like to be rememberedas somebody who diddividing therefore everybody you knowdid the right thing for those who areless fortunate or try to do the wrongthing I think yeah that's brilliantthank you I think that's a great answerand I'm just a final note so we aregonna put your Amazon link in for yourvisit I think you definitely shoulddefinitely if people are interested inthemso it's it's an oil it's a variation allRoma therapy oils basically they're thenatural products there there's noartificial cooling or the fieldadditives in it and they can be used foryour health purposes there's cárdenas aswell and he tells you what you can whatthe purpose of these are and so each oilcan be used for various things I mean Iuse the head of tose so there's a andthere's an oil in there kiddo and Ithink it is that same as witch witchhazel if you're cruising if thought itactually takes your pain away but Idon't have anything okay so and againI'll use the oils to put in the SteamMop just a few tops fantastic you coulduse them in diffuser so there's manyuses for them yeah I got my wife as wellyeah and alongside that are you onsocial media as well is there a way orwould you be open to banners connectingwith yourself and yeah I mean if anybodyyou know wants any answers or questionsalways take on anything then yeah coolso I I am on social media on FacebookI'm not a big these further Facebook youknow yeah I think it's just a good pointof call because there could be somebodywho behind closed doors may haveresonated a certain part of your storymay be struggling with it may be goingfor the exact same thing yeah and thisis another thing the whole point of thispodcast is to let people know they'renot alone yeah so the story that you'regoing through I'm gonna be going throughabout a million other people who yeahthis is what it's about and it's alwaysnice when you can get somebody on theshow he's in a much better place thenyeah yeah and that's the point is artistso in that function enough when we'regoing through all the emotions and stuffand we think there is no light at theend of the tour like I thought you knowactually all of my guests havedemonstrated there is like it is herethat's what it's aboutfantastic so brilliant so we're I justwanted this moment once again just tothank you for your time today andsharing your story into the listeners athome I gotta listenit's for that play to be here andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we asked in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTuneshave an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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"How Society affects teenagers today" by Balraj Purewal #26Tagline: "These are the broken pieces of the puzzle that you still end up piecing together.."Life has moved on so quickly and within the space of a generation our world is now seen through a phone, almost 24/7. In fact I can't recall the last time I went out myself and didn't snap, Instagram or Facebook a status update.But for the youth of today they experience larger problems and issues, such as seeking external validation, comparison amongst peers and so often finding themselves missing the beauty of the presence.It is with this I decided to interview a teenager to show us, and give us a first insight into the life of a teen today. He explains very eloquently the struggles, the good the bad and the types of challenges he is presented with daily, amongst other teens.He is a poet at a heart, currently studying at my favourite university (no bias), whilst trying to figure out where he fits in the world amongst figuring out the intent of other people.We speak about many things in this episode that I really enjoyed recording such as:IntentImportance of internal validationBeing true to yourselfFinding your voiceWorking hardUsing social media for what it is todayA guy who is wise beyond his years and someone I believe will go on and achieve his dreams in the world today, I urge you all to show him some support and follow his journey below:P.s. remember any new reviews on iTunes, just send me a screenshot either on twitter, instagram or to my email and ill send you the diet and gym plan as promised. It will likely be a 7-day window due to the volume of listeners.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_b.purewal/ (Personal)Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/word___art/ (Poetry)Snapchat: B.purewalHave an awesome day & #JustDeuIt #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcription:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of this show so today I'm gonna bebringing you our youngest ever guest onthe show now I was a little bitskeptical if I'm completely honest ofhaving somebody so young coming out to ashow like find your voice because findyour voice generally speaking it'speople who have gone through adversitygone through obstacles and problems andthen all of a sudden I sat back and Ithought hold on a second this is theexact kind of person we need on thisshow because I'm sitting here and almostmaking this judgment which is againshowing something that I need to beaware of and learn from that peoplegoing through their teenagers and goinginto transition into adulthoodhaven't got a voice and that's not whatI wanted the show to be about so anywayI'm gonna be completely honest he overdelivered in fact he was the star ofthis show and I'm very grateful that heshared his experience because there's somany things he mentioned in this episodethat made me kind of think back to howeasy I suppose my life was growingthrough that transition and many of uslistening to this because I checked thedemographics are a lot older thanbarrages and we never had to go throughthe social media constraints and theproblems and that external validationthat these children and teenagers aregoing through today so it's a very verygood episode in terms of one for anyonewho's going through this transition areyou the teenagers who are hopefullytrying to get to listen to this show toinspire and motivatebut more importantly it's just asimportant for us slightly older peoplewho maybe forgot what it was like growno to hear somebody's perspective or howdifferent life is so we talked a lotabout intent we talked about the typesof people that you come across in lifebut we also talk about some stuff thatjust really blew my mind that I wastalking to a teenager especially when Ithink back to what I was like growing upbecause I was not this emotionally awaythat I was just figuring it out and itgained that last bit there figuring itout is something that we go on to talkabout quite a bit in this episodebecause irrespective of where you are inthis journey in this wonderful thingcalled life we're always just trying tofigure it out so hopefully you find thisuseful especially towards the end of theshow because his last two answers wereincredible and they were very poetic andthen I happen to realize that he has apoetry account on Instagram which kindof made sense so a kid with a hugefuture ahead of him I'm very gratefulthat I've managed to tap into theyounger demographics as well I'm verygrateful for Barrett this time and Ihope you all really enjoy this episodeso without further ado let's jump intoit okay people I just like to start thisshow by welcoming bowrage to the showand thanking all the listeners fortuning in today how you doing today myfriend yeah I'm not too bad not too badOh better runs well thanks I let me comeon the show oh you're very welcome myfriend so I think to start this show Ithink it's really important that thelisteners get to know you a little bitso if you would have mind if you canjust kind of give us a briefintroduction into the life of Berridgeplease yeah well so obviously I went toaround four primary schools alreadyremember too much about it if I'm honestI mean I'm the whole guys created forone but then as I went along we movedhouse quite a bit went to one schoolthat was pretty racist I was like whatlike the third brown person there so itwas like I was getting called like the Pword most of the time and I was likewhat the hell's going on so being quiteyoung in primary school didn't reallyenjoy primary school too much becausealways like an outsider don't know if itwas because I was moving so much ormaybe I just wasn't people's kind ofguided which is not a problem and then Idon't know what just literally got intohigh school and then I was like well Idon't want that happening again it's notsomething one happening teenage hormonesare last like kicking in you know thatwas ragingdifferent kind of world with high schoolyou thinking what's going on here I'velearnedreally from lucky s7 I mean if if I'mhonest when I was in the s7 array I wasbit of know a kid or what Liars used toend up in isolation call hi a lot I'mnot sure well I am sure why but I feellike the school was quite strict as wellso any little minor thing I did wouldbasically be picked up on which is not abad thing I guess it took me to maturemuch quicker and this just kind oflasted to around year 10 I was like wellit ain't about who's got the biggest thebiggest this the biggest bat who can dothis who can do that because the realitydoesn't make any difference at all it'sjust you can crack on with themselvesand look after themselves and then whenI got to about year 11it just kind of semi just came out of myshell bit more because you know kind ofa person that it loves to talk to peopleI'm not sure why always been my thingyou knoweven now this like being on the podcastI read messaging you know I just lovetalking to peoplestead of me being stuck to my fault I'mwell I just beat somebody okay I canintake this knowledge from you how can Iapply this to my life oh you can do itlike this so like Erin you may say to meI'll do it this way and I may not evensing this other perspective because Imaybe so maybe I don't know deleted withmy own which is better for me to realizeobviously social media you know thephones are great but sometimes a lot ofpeople just end up stuck to it evenmyself at times well of course yeah butit was weird because in s7 like good onwords high school wise I always thoughtto myself I am I'm not fitting in itdoesn't make any sense why can I not dowhat they're doing why can I not do whatthe older people I did not realize and Ishould have enjoyed it more in themoment so I was okay cool that's not aproblem and then as soon as I started tocome up my shell but yeah 11 time youknow starts being two more people it waslike a lot more people were coming to mecame to six form where it was prettymuch the biggest change definitely fullycame out my child say I'm you know notin a cocky way oh I'd say I'm quitetalkative bubbly loving and caringperson mm-hmm so I guess it's kind ofcame with some baggage as well because Icouldn't even realize with somebody thatwas trying to maybe mess me around infront of my faceI want to realize because I think theyhave the same heart as me hmm so Iwouldn't even realize anything like thatand then obviously you know that youlive and learn obviously as you growingup and I think for teenagers now it'shard because everybody's trying tosorry for the language but fuck eachother over unless they're really genuinebecause they're like oh I have this ormy dad's got this my mom's got this whatdoes yours has what does your has yourshave I've got this PlayStation you don'thave it oh you don't have it why not oryou know just the little - things whichis you know it's no part of generalgoing on but I guess you don't realizethat until you actually do start to growup and like me going up into a man nobit of an awkward age at the moment 19kind of in the middle teenager turnedinto a young actual man now if you knowme like 18 years the normal designatedage anyways for when they say you were ayoung adult voice you're still in thatin between mm-hm if you know what I meanand then yeah like obviously then I wentto uni as well so just finished my firstyear basically thought I'd stay outfirst year get a bit more independenceand you know again actual experience oflike the halls or whatever like you knowhow everybody hyped up or whatever andit was great experience met some amazingpeople really amazing people some peoplewith some really good hearts but youmeet some give me some weird ones aswell it's really weird people you knowsome people may just want to use andabuse some people actually may want tohang around with you or some people justwant to distract you so you've just gotto make sure that you stay true toyourself and keep with a good heart atall timesso it seems that until at leastUniversity you were trying to one figureout who you are but to also figure outhow people are and I suppose especiallywith the last one it doesn't reallychange I mean I'm a little bit olderthan you but I still go through thatsituation where I'm still trying tofigure out why people are the way theyare or why certain people don't act theways for instance that I act so I willalways go in with good intentions andthen all of a sudden you'll realise thatother people's intent isn't necessarilythe same as yourself so I suppose apiece of advice having gone through thatprobably a little bit more than yourselfis just try and at least be wary ofpeople's intent because some peoplemight come across as almost like thegreatest people that you've ever seenbut then you will find later on oncethey get what they need to extract fromyou as a person you'll find they'll kindof disappear so that's just kind of likea piece of advice but you touched onsome prevalent things that I candefinitelythink about when I was a kid soespecially in the Punjabi culture thewhole drinking and how much can youdrink it's a purely ego thing 100% Ifell into that I fell into almostdamaging my health at the fact of I needto keep up with people when I drinkwhere is now I'd like to think of myselfas slightly more matured if I don'tfancy a drink I would just say that'senough for me and I'll kind of walk awayfrom it but again it's a learning lessona few points I've just made not of aswell that I want to just touch on so youwere always a naughty kid and you'realways I mean you've got yourselfexcluded for trying to bite somebody'snose but then all of a sudden thingsstarted to change and you said somethingwhich I thought was quite important andit was you opened up and the moment youstarted to open up you felt people startto gravitate towards you more I justwant this in relation to that then wasthat a sort of force thing or was thatjust you thinking okay there's no pointme just being this shy person when Ihave so much more to show to the worldobviously I was looking at other peoplethinking how are they doing this why somany people coming to them I'm just youknow I'm worrying too much about otherpeople now you know I actually need tolisten unlike for me and I've alwaysbeen quite open anyways quite if I wantsomething or if I want a fun one andknow something or I want to saysomethingI will say because I just get that offmy parents as well because if they wantto say something they'll just say theydon't they don't be around the bush Idon't see the point either because thenyou're just passing around make it morefuss than need to be so then literally Ijust try to be myself and I was likeokay this about in the year 11 more insix form was around a lot of people arecoming to me and I was like okay this isa bit weird I don't really know how tohandle this and what I found was it justcame with a lot of baggage as wellbecause a lot of people were coming tome but I was like even me me being adumb ass at times I want to realize thatsome people are just there to use me forpopularity or whatever it was and it'sokay though because like I learned fromit like it made me learn that somepeople like you you don't need to hangaround with these people all the timeyou don't need to hang around with apopular crowd it just doesn't make adifference we should be working towardsbetter in the world absolutely I thinkthat's a valid point and just on thatbasis you just reminded me of somethingthat you said earlier as well so yousaid initially obviously you find itdifficult to fit in and then you saidwhich isa problem like literally straight afterand I thought I was that was quite aclever point that you made plus it alsoshows your intelligence that you'rethinking a lot differently because atthat age it is all about fitting in itis all about being the coolest kid onthe block getting the most likes onInstagram and being that that kind ofperson what I want to ask you is whenyou start to be yourself and things weremore positive and obviously you know isthis and you've just explained it do youknow why you wasn't yourself prior tothat I just think are always quite sincesince being young I've always been quiteobservant a bit more like bit or notalways been an awful thinker I'm notsure why I just I've always thought thatI need to be doing more than I need thenI am or I need to be doing pair but youcan't be because like that's that'swhere I got to university now and I'veonly just realized now that you can't beperfect in everything you do and mebeing like a lot of perfectionist when Iwas in school you know I was about toget the best grades etc you know GCSEwas okay you know six form I did quitewell and I just thought you could beperfect but as a human you just can't beperfect so then I started to realizejust be myself I'm always gonna have myflaws as everybody else will have thefloors it just depends who wants to staywith you and still accept your flaws andaccept you you want 100 percent I thinkyou just hit the nail on the head thereas humans you can't be perfect there isno such thing as perfect and this is oneof the things that I suppose even when Istarted this podcast it was to showpeople look I'm just a shy person I'm ananxious person even in this conversationwith yourself on making mistakes um forgetting my words and stuff as well andsometimes it's about embracing yourvulnerabilities your weaknesses and thennext time just trying to be a little bitbetter so I think that's a very goodlesson for anyone in your situation andjust I'm gonna finish it actually onanother thing that you mentioned as wellwhich was when you said in relation tohow people may not have the same intentas you is that it's okay you learn fromit and it sounds easier in hindsight butI think if we can all take ourexperiences your life not not as apersonal attack but more as a sort oflearning experience I think it helpsyour mental sanity a lot more so I'vehad people for example where a similarsituation to yourself where I'm thinkingwhy hasn't that worked out or why is theperson acting in this way that you knowa normal person wouldn't think isethicalor the right way and rather thandwelling on that and then thinking I'mnot worthy of receiving a good person inmy life what I do is I take that as alesson and I think okay fair enough thatperson's got what they wanted out ofthis relationship but next time I'llhave more experience and I'll be wiserfrom it and if a similar type of personcomes along I will know to move on awayfrom that situation if that makes senseyeah like even what I said like it'slike even whoever is it can only be alesson a blessing or like you know likethey're there for life whether it's afriend or a family memberabsolutely absolutely so we've touchedon University and how you've developedin terms of one trying to find outexactly who you are you feel a lot morecomfortable now in the way that you areyou've slid into my DMS you happilyspeak into other people I think that's agreat way that we should be in the worldespecially coming from a very shy personI wish I had the confidence just to kindof put my hand out or just smile atpeople openly in the world because eventhrough my very short experience on thispodcast I've met some incredible peopleand I realize that I'm at my happiestwhen I'm connecting with people and whenI'm getting on with people so I thinkit's fantastic that you're doing that atsuch a young age what have you donesince University or what are you lookingto now achieve moving forward in lifemoving forward obviously on your firstyear Aston University doing businessmanagement great unique kind of thetypical thing probably I'd be void yes Iwant IT typical thing but all in allfrom young always like I'm just alwayswanting to be self-employed it's notthat like okay it's decent working forpeople if they give you decent benefitsbut what I find is that if you cancontrol your own destiny and you canbuild what you want to build him it maynot be something that you know now likeeven me I'm still like what do I dodo I go this way do I go that way it'sstill not no but I guess there's stilltime to figure it out it's not like lifeis short but it's also long as well andyou know there is some days but you'llbe lazy and there's some days where youjust don't have a clue what you do butit's like pretty much everybody's fakingit until they can make it basically intheir own ways which is not a bad thinghow can everybody know what's going onreally because then really trying tofigure themselves out figure where theirfoundations are in the world for me Iwant to build my sample the best I canbemy parents have allowed me to have a lotof freedom and it's right like evenpeople come up to mewhyyou moment that's all like cool withyou what like that my dad is my dadhe'll know when to tell me like straightto the pointbut he'll even have a conversation withme like we're like best friends wish Ilook and the same thing I can do with mymama's also you know I'm glad that hadparents like that got two lovely sistersas well you know they're growing up nowyou don't even realize how much they'regrowing up until you actually see themyou thinking that how did you get tallerit's all a crazy one even myself I lookin the mirror I think where did thisbeard come from I always wanted to be atthis person's got a beard why can I haveone but they just comes in your own timeas everything does absolutely unlike formyself you know I think for the Barrettbarrage I am today like I would say formyself I'm a loving caring humble butmore selective person based on theexperience that I've already had becauselife is already hard as it is life'salready the responsibility is gonnastart ended up piling up anyways sothere's no point it would be negativeyou could have just got to try be aspositive as possible absolutely I thinkthat's really well said and thisactually helped me massively my mindsetand hopefully can help the listeners aswell is the moment I realize that everysingle person is just figuring it outand regardless of their externalappearance or how they seem to have itall together and realize it actuallythey don't and just like you just likeme just like the person listen to thiswe're all just figuring it outnobody's give us the perfect blueprintfor life I don't believe that one existsyeah I think it's brilliant that youknow that on 19 because at 19 I was Ithink I was starting you need do myfirst qualification and I had no ideawhat I was doing I didn't know what Iwanted to become the kind of person Iwant you to be remembered forI was not aligning anything with myvalues on my ethics and this issomething that obviously you're nowgoing through that journey and everyonearound your age is gonna actually gothrough but I think if you can all justtake one lesson away and just know thatyou don't have to have it all figuredout in fact I'm now under a little bitolder where I'm still trying to figureout what am I going to be doing in thenext five years in ten years and whathappens is as we start to grow as peoplethrough our own personal development ourawarenessbe more selective which I thought was abrilliant thing that you pointed out aswell then you're automatically findyourself moving towards things that youlove andyour passion projects hence my podcasthere so I said brilliant and today likeI said you're a lot wiser than I was atyour age hopefully thank you hopefullyyou continue so I was going to ask youabout your routine but I'm prettycertain I know how most uni studentslive their life at uni so here's andthere's nothing wrong with that becauseit's all it's all part and parcel of thejourney I mean my university meeting wasliterally vodka kabobs hangover andwhatever whatever I could find on TV soexactly so I'm not gonna embarrass youabout that but I want to move on tosomething that might be able to givesomebody again some value from thisinterview is about adversity so if youcan think of maybe like a time and Iknow you're still young yet but I stillbelieve that we become the kind ofpeople we are because of the lessons ofthe journeys that we go through so ifyou could think of a lesson of adversityor a problem that you face and then moreimportantly once you've shared that ifyou could just tell us what you learnedfrom it can i this question if I - okaybecause I think what I found has givenme the biggest shock this year isholding on to people okay you knowhaving expectations of people because ittold me a lot this year because you knowyou know how it is lobbying a young ladyou think these are my boys man theseare doing it all I'm gonna do it as wellyou know and it will work in the samecycle and don't get me wrong it's allgood to have your friends your boyswhatever you want to call them but youhave to realize when your energy is notbeing valued or serving you and somebodyif they're not going to value it becausea lot of people are just there to prettymuch just take the mick and they'dalready care what's going on your lifethey just won't know because if youaren't doing better than them thinkingwhy can't I do that myself as well thatyou know again not in an arrogant wayare all like you know I'm friends withgirls I don't see them like anydifferent 2ml you know we're human atthe end of the day and a fun you knowsometimes you know it may sound bad tosay as well you know more for genderequality and stuff but sometimes girlsare just a bit more sensible with theirthinking you're a feeso whereas lads will just be like wellwe'll be looking at each other what doyou want to do your should we have adrink shall we do this mainly it justdepends on the crowd that you surroundyourself with so once you find thatright crowd that's when it will be allgood and well but it's just fine in thatright crowd and finding who you to stayaway from here to stay with you know Iseek quite a lot of validation fromothers as wellwell all in all I don't need to worryabout if it's good for myself and when Ilook back at it now it was good it wasgreat every single timeand if I didn't look at other people allthe time then you know I would havestarted to appreciate myself a lotearlier but now I'm glad that I'm snowyoung and still learning now learningnow that I only need to worry about ifit looks good for me and not anybodyelse because you're the only one thatyou have in this world you know you haveyour family that you keep close friendsyou you know friends are the family thatyou choose and you know y'all needed tocare what you think of yourself as awhole and a fair for you that you canreally trust and that's the bottom linereally for me absolutely Matt I thinkthat's a brilliant point that you justmade there and I think some of the stuffthat you're explaining now isn't stuffthat I believed that we had to gothrough especially my generation or thegenerations older than myself becausethe whole getting validation from yourpeers or getting validation from socialmedia it's become a massive massiveproblem in societyand you also touched on a very goodpoint as well in relation to women beingmore sensitive and more I suppose opento talking about their feelings and thisis something that I really want to tryand work on in the future is getting mento open up about their vulnerabilitiesand talk about their weaknesses and allthings that they struggle with becausemale suicide is far too high for what itshould be in fact it should never bemental health is obviously poor as wellwith males as well and I just think wehave such a bravado and this kind of wehave to show strength all the time thatwe're almost too afraid to kind of speakand it causes problems so I think it'sgreat that maybe it's you as anindividual hopefully it's morewidespread across your community thatyou guys are at least acknowledging thatthere is this lead here in your societyso I think that's brilliant I think it'salso important that anyone in your agerange or anyone going through whatyou're going through doesn't seekvalidation externally it's all aboutreceiving internal validation firstyou've got to love yourself beforeanyone else out they can love youbecause irrespective of what they saywhen it comes down to it you sit in yourown mind on a daily basis on your bottomyour mind can be your best friend or itcan actually be your enemy so you reallyneed to work on that so it's reassuringfor me listening to you to know thatyou're in a much better place understandI mean I think like even how you sayingthey're sorry to cut you off is no noyou can with mental health and you knowthat even as you said the suicide goal Ididn'tthat myself that male suicide is goingup but with mental health like I find itsuch a big cuz even myself like I won'tsit here and I say I haven't been for itmyself I have because I always thinklike you know I've been there in my bedfeeling low as how old you know feelingfeeling rock but I'm thinking you knowand people will say to me what do youhave to stress about you're only 18 19and that's okay that's so cool that'sthere like we used to get on with itback in the day but it's just it's notthe same because we've got all thisaccess to social media nowadays we'vegot people trying to make themselveslook better put like different like youknow brightnesses on their pictures orincrease the brightness of their face ontheir pictures and you know you may meetsome people they don't like this day andthen they're not actually like whatwe've been trying to portray they areand social media and that's what F's itall up because you can't betray yourselfto be something on social media and whenyou meet the person you like well thisperson just the whole different spectrumand with mental health advice it'salways like you can you can do betterthan the other person who you can F overthe other person who can keep on goinguntil some like it's like a it's like arat race like a wolf kind of like a wolfpack sort of thing who can be the thewolf that climbs at the my own first andand all the other ones are trying tolike basically just drag him down andit's hard because you know even withPunjabi community once again they'realways like well if you say to them thatyou have a mental health problem wellthey'll just be like okay no problemjust deal with it yeah I mean it can'tbe that way because I'll getting worsenow and there's only more awarenessabout it now because of social mediawhich the benefits of social media aswell and all this kind of stuff I thinkthat's a that's a great point and againfor the listeners that it's a lot harderand I kind of do sympathise with youguys coming up in this generation wheresocial media has this good parts but ithas this kind of evil tail to it as wellwhere I never had to deal with that sogrowing up for me when I was going touniversity and we were drinking andpartying his sirwe were never worried about taking snapsor or having a whole night out lookingthrough the lens of our phone it wasjust kind of being there in the momentin experience in it and then ourself-worth wasn't pretty much like thatoh absolutely and at the same time ourself-worth wasn't predicated on the factof when we go home at the end of thatnight who got the most likes on that forthe most engagement for example so I'mvery grateful for that and I think it'simportant that you mentioned that but Ijust want to say something else that youmentioned as well because you've said ita few times now and it's probably moreso because of youris that you seen everyone F each otherover because of like you're almostseeing it like a rat race and I thinkthe rat race thing is an important thingand I've tweeted something this morningit was taken from Wayne died and it's avery good quote which i think is quiteuseful for where we are right now inthis show and what he says is we're inpartnership with all other human beingsit's not a contest to be judged betterthan some and worse than others and Ithink if we all sin ourselves a sort ofpartnering up with humans and trying tohelp each other move forward in thislife because at the end of the day we'reall figuring it out as we've touched onearlier I think the world will be insuch a better place but we have thisscarcity mindset where we think in orderfor me to move forward I have to standon somebody else or put somebody elseaside as opposed to saying yeah why do Ihold your hand and we'll move togetherand you're always quicker and strongertogether so I think it's reassuring tohear that you're you've got that mindsetand I think if you remain selective likeyou mentioned earlier I think you'll getthe right network around you toobviously help yourself move forward Ithink what it is as I it's always thatyou've got you right it's always at alland everything as well it's like that'sif you want to create a business rightit's always a trial and everything wherehumans are like you may trust one andthen they may break your trust and youmerge that listen with your whole heartand that's not bad that's not thatshouldn't people shouldn't beatthemselves up if that happens becauseit's a learning lesson that means thatperson wasn't meant to be in your lifeand that means that there's better tocome because even even anyways thatyou've got to have some good days tohave some bad days you've got to havesome bad days to have some good daysit's just as simple as that and you justgotta take the positives that are veryfrom that you can't absolutely meabsolutely yes sir very wise words for a19 year old so appreciate I'll get at meso you're now in your first yearUniversity you've made massive strideswith your talent and your emotionalintelligence is really really high whichis nice to hear what saves you very goodquestioncurrently in my life at the moment whatscares me is not being able to provide acomfortable life for our potentialfuture wife and kids you know not beenough hub I'm a family now my mom dadmy sisters you know they're gonna wantto get married and well yeah I thinkthey're gonna need help with fine likefinance is not the be end and end allbut it does make life with more freedommore comfort so you know if there'ssomething that Idude help them make their life easierand maybe I don't know let's say I hadanother source of income I could give itto them I'd be happy to do that but it'sjust you've got a we're card for thesethings my mom you know she's a teacherherself so you know I always see yesshe's always stressed out so she'salways coming you know she'll be withwork all day she'll be coming back inthe market papers you know tour about9:00 10:00 at night I don't know shedoes it and then repeat the day mybiggest fear is not making their lifeeasier and my biggest fear is not beingable to provide a comfortable life formyself and the family around meI think you've almost answered the nextquestion as well which I was going toask about the motivation so it seemsthat your motivation right now is to beable to successfully graduate and thenprovide different streams of income tofacilitate one obviously your sister'sgetting married helping your parents athome and then obviously giving yourselfthe kind of life that you want as wellyeah because like even for me as welland working under people just kind ofget under my skin a bit to be honest butyou're gonna have to do the minute youagree for a couple years of your lifebecause that's the way it is when you'reyoung as well you know people have toldme that that's the way and you justgotta work hard you've got to keep yourchin up which is not a problemso like currently now I'm working atNando's which is not a problem I'm happyI'm happy for the free Nando's I can'tcomplain but it's a good job for me nowbut could I see myself doing that whenI'm what thirty years old I wouldn'tlike to think so often - because youknow even though it's a good job youknow dealing with customers thatstraight rude or having so much pressureput on you and you know running back andforth running back and forth it's allgood while I'm young but maybe when Iget older maybe I may not just have thatenergy that's interesting firstly I'mhoping I get a free round after thispodcast session is on oh yeah that'sjust as good the weird thing is thereason I'm touching on does is oneeveryone knows I absolutely love Danlosbut tea when I was at university it justopened on Birmingham Broad Street and Iremember sitting there oh I workedliterally all the way through Universityso I went to the same uni as youAston uni and I always had a job noWayans yeah yes I had a job on theweekends and my aim I remember whenNando's opened after trying it I waslike man I really wish I had a job atNano so it's funny how the world worksbut there was a point in time wherehaving a job at Nando's was literally mydream job at least for that period inone yeah time so appreciate where youareappreciate or the good thingbe grateful for everything that's comingyour way now it's taught me like youknow it's told me that hard to grit myteeth who went there a lot of rudecustomers come in so you have to lookafter it like it's like it sounds a bitweird like it's like your own family youhave to keep it clean the place becausethat's where people are going to come inlike you know if you come into the storyyou want to make sure everything isclean you want to make sure the food'son point cannot attend not 9 out of 10because it's not if it's not 10 out of10 then you know you're not going to behappy with the service at all you knowhave a smile on your face and just keepon going like keep your chin up evenwhen it gets hard like even for mesometimes I'll be like I'm just touchingmy forehead thinking flirty arm and Ineed a break but you just got to keep ongoing absolutely me absolutely we'reactually at the fun part the show nowthere is no right or wrong answer butjust try and say the first thing thatcomes in your head we're gonna go inthree two oneif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it be judgmental peoplepeanut butter and Nutella peanut butteryour biggest role model biggest rolemore mom what would you like to beremembered for being Who I am yourbiggest goal this year to just keep onworking hard no matter how hard it getsyour worst mistake is listening to otherpeople about a certain person if youcould relive one day again what daywould it be 26 of May two years ago whyit was just everybody was therefamily friends you know we was at myhouse and it was just you just wantedmost be of things you know honestly Iread I really loved that day I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when your fame that's a hardon max I'm thinking well with things youcan get money but then what I say moneyyour favorite food the mix grown andokay speak our languages will be able tospeak to animals animals what song bestdescribes your life Dizzee Rascalbonkers would you rather know how youwould die or when you would die andfinally if you could sit with one personin the world for an hour who would it beprobably my baby my grandma I love thatso the next question it's aboutreflection and I'm a firm believer thathindsight is a wonderful thing and itteaches us ways to get there quickereasier and we're less heartachebut I'm also an avid believer that thejourney teaches us so much as well interms of his lessons so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone particular moment knowing everythingthat you know right now and whispersomething to a younger barrage whatwould you say I just said to myself I'dsay barrage do you not worry it will allcome to you in the end you will not endup failing you are not a quitteryou are not inclined to please otherpeople put yourself first say no if youdon't want to do it it's as simple asthatenjoy the present moment more don't looktoo much into the future ruining yourfull process already and don't look backwith pain in your heart these are thebroken pieces of the puzzle which yousaw might end up still piecing togetherhave fun and live life enjoy your youthdon't look too much into girlsalcohol or any other distractions justtry and discipline yourself more keepyourself closed off but keep yourselfliving and humble always may I love thatI want you to do me a favor after thispodcast and actually send me thatwritten form and that was almost likepoetic you mentioned something therethese are the broken pieces and thepuzzle that's still in the piecingtogether but I want to do it just thisso if you can send me that at yourtranscript or what I'll do is I'mactually gonna bring them out separatelyno problem I mean I even I even do havea separate poetry account as well that Ido must like check it out if you haveany time yeah it's on my new profile butit's on its good word under school andschool oh okay check that as wellbrilliant so suddenly that actuallybrings us to the last question and thelast question that I always ask my guessis if in a 150 years time science failsto save us and all that exists is a bookand this book is about you andeverything that you've achieved in yourlife all your weird and wonderful dreamshave been accomplished what I want toknow is firstly what would the title ofthe book say and secondly what would theblurb at the back tell us about you Iwrote yesterday I said you know he waslike I know other he persevered like noother he had himself he was elegantclean hearted charming and crazy hewould always go the extra mile for thosewho were close to his heart at times endup hereall in all he always tried to see thebright side of life the world is alreadytoo cold and entangled in its ownpleasures to not be positiveof that as powerful have you got a titlefor that the title the life of aninquisitive man brilliant me if youwouldn't mind could you give us the bestsources via social media where we cancontact you Instagram I love being oninstagram my instagram is under schoolbeat up for a while its be PU or e w alquite active on snapchat as well is beatup for a while again be pu r e w althey're the main ones I'm active on tobe honest ok no problem so what I'll dois for everyone listening today I'mgonna make sure I put all of the linksso you can contact barrage directly verysocial media as you've probably seenfrom some of these answers today's verypoetic so I'll be following them on hisInstagram poetry handle as well myselfstraight after thisI want to thank Mirage for being openabout his story and sharing it andhopefully this influences and inspiresmany others and I want to thank everyoneat home for listening thank you thankyou and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

When you feel like you've tried EVERYTHING to stop skin rashes, it can be so frustrating that you want to throw in the towel. The idea of having hope that you can somehow solve this puzzle get dim. And before you know it, you don't want to hear anything that could possibly help your eczema, psoriasis, rosacea, dandruff, etc. I hope you enjoy this episode. It's different than the rest, but something I wanted to address because there can be dark places that skin rashes can take you emotionally. My hope is that you'll begin to let the light crack on in through the armor you wear to protect yourself from any more disappointments. I know how hard this can be, so please… give this episode a listen and then share your throughts below! In this episode: Feeling like you've done everything right, but you haven't seen results Emotional and mental burnout that leads to you losing hope Jennifer's “dark place” after so many failed attempts Toxic vulnerability triggered by skin rashes How to begin stepping out of the negative mindset that only sees failure ahead QUOTES: Suffering from my eczema was a dark place to be - walking through life with what has become a really big chip on my shoulder about pretty much anything that had to do with my skin. I THOUGHT that this intense skepticism, weariness, and bitterness was a way to control what I was exposed to and what I'd let in. But it truly wasn't. I spent so much time “protecting myself” from anything that offered a shred of hope, that I couldn't feel hope anymore. I started building this wall between myself and anyone who made any sort of suggestions or recommendations. Thinking the whole time that “you don't understand my suffering. I'm going to protect myself from any attempt at hope because I can't take any more failure. I'm not going to be vulnerable anymore.” And when you take a 2000ft view, skin rashes make us both physically as well as emotionally vulnerable. FULL TRANSCRIPT Welcome back to episode #45 of the Healthy Skin Show! In today's episode, I'm talking about what I call “Health Quest Burnout”. Here's what I mean… You've gone to doctor after doctor trying to get help with your skin and other symptoms and conditions. You've spent countless hours online searching Dr. Google and jumping in and out of rabbit holes desperately seeking missing clues. You've tried creams, salves, supplements, medications, lifestyle changes, and all sorts of homemade remedies… Hoping that *something* will work. It's not uncommon that after a certain point, you can feel like the skin rashes start to break you. They take over and wreck your carefully made plans (or even the most mundane experiences like showering). Bit by bit, they chip away until you don't recognize your life (or your skin) anymore. You lose control over your life as so much of your time and energy goes into dealing with your skin. And you can get to a point where you think, “I've tried everything. I'm doomed.” It's a dark place… and I know because I was there once. Struggles Only Someone Living With Skin Rashes Understands Many of you know my eczema story. I become horrified watching eczema take so much away from me! Working out, teaching cooking classes, volunteering with a cat rescue, touching pretty much anything, opening door knobs (or lids), taking showers, washing my face daily… I felt horribly embarrassed to be social and meet new people because the first thing you do is shake hands. No one wants to shake a hand that looks like it's diseased. Even though I was able to eventually get my skin turned around (through a lot of hard work), I was left in the process with lots of products and concoctions that didn't help. I was cleaning out my “product” drawer the other day, and still couldn't throw out all of the tubs and jars of products I bought that didn't help. It's silly, I know… But I spent so much money on them. One day, I'll let them go. For now, I keep them even though I'll likely never use any of them again. In the process of accumulating so much knowledge and spending so much on products, I started to get very skeptical and eventually almost bitter. I felt like everyone who was sharing something was just trying to get something from me. That my suffering was just a means to an end for them… And that I was just potential dollar signs in their bank account. Even someone sharing that “there's hope” or “this happens for a reason” felt like an increasingly difficult pill to swallow. I didn't want to hear that anymore. I couldn't just “be positive”. I was angry. And slowly that bitterness closed in upon my mindset as I secluded myself more and more from friends and family. Protecting Yourself From Skin Rash Trauma Suffering from my eczema was a dark place to be - walking through life with what has become a really big chip on my shoulder about pretty much anything that had to do with my skin. I THOUGHT that this intense skepticism, weariness, and bitterness was a way to control what I was exposed to and what I'd let in. But it truly wasn't. I spent so much time “protecting myself” from anything that offered a shred of hope, that I couldn't feel hope anymore. When one thing didn't go my way or made things worse -- like trying a new cream or some supplement I read about on a random website late at night -- I was ready to throw in the towel. “What's the point of even trying when it probably won't work?” I'd say to myself. It was a way to ward off and avoid more disappointment… and at least I could control that. Every step that I took towards cynicism, distrust and even bitterness (to some degree), the greater the walls I built around me. The negative attitude became my armor fending off yet another failure before I even got there. Have You Really Tried EVERYTHING? It wasn't until my husband finally said to me at my lowest point -- “have you really tried EVERYTHING?” The truth was that I hadn't. I was going off what I'd read online because the dermatologist wasn't any help and basically throwing darts in the dark hoping that something would work! But the truth is… I didn't actually know what was going on under the surface. There was no cohesive plan or clear direction. Just me playing a giant game of whack-o-mole -- and failing miserably. His question helped me see that taking a step back and focusing on looking deeper was more important than spending hours reading study after study on single nutrients for the skin. That intervention changed everything for me! When I look back now, I see a number of parallels to the faulty or leaky barrier that was my skin and this mindset. I felt so out-of-control especially because nothing that I tried worked. Vulnerability Of Skin Rashes After a point, I became frustrated (and then angry)… and I needed to direct that energy somewhere because it couldn't just stay stuck in me. So I started building this wall between myself and anyone who made any sort of suggestions or recommendations. Thinking the whole time that “you don't understand my suffering”. “I'm going to protect myself from any attempt at hope because I can't take any more failure.” “I'm not going to be vulnerable anymore.” When you take a 2000ft view, skin rashes make us both physically as well as emotionally vulnerable. And vulnerability can be incredibly uncomfortable. Especially when you're being starred at, worried that you'll be starred at, fending off unwelcome advice (or dumb comments or jokes), missing out on life and work, and feeling utterly unsupported by family, friends and medical professionals. I'm no expert in vulnerability, but I have experienced my fair share in life both as a kid growing up constantly teased and as an adult living with eczema. And I can tell you one thing -- the wall you build around yourself might feel safe, but it ultimately can feel very limiting. You literally feel like there are no options nor chances again in front of you because you've experienced too much disappointment. And it shuts you away from taking an active role in your skin puzzle. Sure, you stay safe from potential disappointment, but you also hide and close yourself off to things that could legitimately help you. I have you say that having hope is necessary to keep on going. Dark and doubtful moments are normal (and they shouldn't be ignored). But you weren't put here to end up in a position to give up. Maybe… just maybe it's time to look at your skin puzzle from a different perspective or angle as an act of self love. If you're open to that, here's what I'd suggest right now to help you step out from behind your negative emotions (aka. The vulnerability wall). Tips For Stepping Out From Behind Your Vulnerability Wall When you feel skepticism creep in, look for good scientific references and information that backs up what you're reading. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Avoid making sweeping generalizations about people's intentions. Get to know the people and companies that you follow. Interact with them and get a sense of what drives them. Speaking of people -- vet the experts and influencers you follow. What type of degrees do they have and are they actually qualified to support your skin problems? Is their biographical and education information with easy to find? If you're interested in working with them, do they have experience with your specific concerns? When you say “I've tried everything and nothing worked”, ask yourself… is that REALLY true? You may have tried all sorts of products you found online or have seen all the dermatologists in your area. But that's just one way of doing things. There are others avenues and ways to look at your skin that's more systematic and plan-oriented. Ask yourself -- Do you know what's actually driving your skin issues? And then once you identify those problems, what's driving those underlying problems? There are layers to the process and usually go much deeper than just your skin. I hope these six tips give you a jumping off point to get started. Yes, it's a journey, but one that can yield gifts as long as you don't give up. That you're here listening to this means that you haven't completely lost hope. And I am grateful to have you here. Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Leave them on the post for this episode! Remember to subscribe, rate and review the Healthy Skin Show podcast -- because without your support, this show wouldn't exist! And share this episode to spread the word to those struggling with skin rashes that there are more options out there than just steroid cream. Thank you so much for tuning in and I look forward to seeing you the next time!

What is it with modern films?....they must save a fortune on electricity because they are all made in the dark.....what we are subjected to is actors who mumble so you can't understand what they are on about coupled with dark sets both inside and outside...SWITCH THE LIGHTS ON!!....you turn the sound up so you can hear them whispering then back down again as the music and gunfire blasts out....of course this is if you can find a film worth watching on TV....a very difficult task these days....if it wasn't for the police searching for murderers there would be no stories at all.....like the music and entertainment industry its all gone down the drain. 2.There has been a lot of publicity regarding scams and people losing all their savings etc.....it's easy to say they should know better but there should be a lot more education from the media especially for the old and vulnerable.....these scammers are professionals and know how to con people big time....it's even done on a legal basis with loan companies and banks....they are NOT your friends...the car dealer for example is a great bloke until you decide you don't want the car...the time share touts...they are all out there trying to separate you from your money....there are very few genuine BARGAINS in the world.....we are a nation of moaners and complainers.....what is needed is action.....if restaurants are overpriced I don't go there....if the drinks are expensive I don't drink there.....and if I can get an item cheaper on Amazon that's where I go....if everyone did this then perhaps the greedy big boys would get the message and bring their prices down....sitting around and moaning won't solve anything. 3.Just in case you didn't know....our Theresa May is resigning....and there she was announcing it outside number 10 to the pack of wolves waiting to rip her apart....and the media showing the same bit where she nearly broke down crying....so now her loyal staff have removed their knives from her back and put themselves up for the job....so we might get Boris Johnson at the helm or...God forbid...Michael.Gove....mind you if HE gets the job comedy will make a welcome return....the comics will have a field day.....I often wonder if Mickey Gove actually knows what's going on....if you were to write a play about the last three years of government in this country no-one would believe it....it's like a hotch potch of headless chickens frantically seeking publicity to enhance their careers reported on by a media consisting of school fifth formers.....come back Guy Fawkes all is forgiven. 4.I listened to your interview with the late great Les Reed which I enjoyed...what a great guy and what a massive talent....he was one of the last great songwriters....a breed that has sadly vanished.....he gave us wonderful hits by the likes of Englebert and Tom Jones and many more plus he was a brilliant musician.....I have always been a big fan of his work and many years ago I heard him interviewed on the radio and he introduced an instrumental by the John Barry 7 which I THOUGHT he said he composed and it was the melody of Buddy Holly's "It Doesn't Matter Any More"....which was credited to Paul Anka....this bothered me for years asI am not a fan of Mr.Anka so I wrote to Les Reed and put this to him....he replied with a lovely letter explaining that he was referring to a different song and was sorry to say that it was Paul Anka's....and went on to wish me good luck with my songwriting....that's what makes a quality bloke. 5.The song this week is one I found in my drawer from back in the day......it was a song I wrote about Chester Zoo and which I pitched to the Zoo and they ordered a stack off me (that's the way to do it).....it is sung by a lovely young lady called Julie Bright who did the clubs and was one of my female session singers....and as she was from Chester she got quite a bit on mileage from the song

What is it with modern films?....they must save a fortune on electricity because they are all made in the dark.....what we are subjected to is actors who mumble so you can't understand what they are on about coupled with dark sets both inside and outside...SWITCH THE LIGHTS ON!!....you turn the sound up so you can hear them whispering then back down again as the music and gunfire blasts out....of course this is if you can find a film worth watching on TV....a very difficult task these days....if it wasn't for the police searching for murderers there would be no stories at all.....like the music and entertainment industry its all gone down the drain. 2.There has been a lot of publicity regarding scams and people losing all their savings etc.....it's easy to say they should know better but there should be a lot more education from the media especially for the old and vulnerable.....these scammers are professionals and know how to con people big time....it's even done on a legal basis with loan companies and banks....they are NOT your friends...the car dealer for example is a great bloke until you decide you don't want the car...the time share touts...they are all out there trying to separate you from your money....there are very few genuine BARGAINS in the world.....we are a nation of moaners and complainers.....what is needed is action.....if restaurants are overpriced I don't go there....if the drinks are expensive I don't drink there.....and if I can get an item cheaper on Amazon that's where I go....if everyone did this then perhaps the greedy big boys would get the message and bring their prices down....sitting around and moaning won't solve anything. 3.Just in case you didn't know....our Theresa May is resigning....and there she was announcing it outside number 10 to the pack of wolves waiting to rip her apart....and the media showing the same bit where she nearly broke down crying....so now her loyal staff have removed their knives from her back and put themselves up for the job....so we might get Boris Johnson at the helm or...God forbid...Michael.Gove....mind you if HE gets the job comedy will make a welcome return....the comics will have a field day.....I often wonder if Mickey Gove actually knows what's going on....if you were to write a play about the last three years of government in this country no-one would believe it....it's like a hotch potch of headless chickens frantically seeking publicity to enhance their careers reported on by a media consisting of school fifth formers.....come back Guy Fawkes all is forgiven. 4.I listened to your interview with the late great Les Reed which I enjoyed...what a great guy and what a massive talent....he was one of the last great songwriters....a breed that has sadly vanished.....he gave us wonderful hits by the likes of Englebert and Tom Jones and many more plus he was a brilliant musician.....I have always been a big fan of his work and many years ago I heard him interviewed on the radio and he introduced an instrumental by the John Barry 7 which I THOUGHT he said he composed and it was the melody of Buddy Holly's "It Doesn't Matter Any More"....which was credited to Paul Anka....this bothered me for years asI am not a fan of Mr.Anka so I wrote to Les Reed and put this to him....he replied with a lovely letter explaining that he was referring to a different song and was sorry to say that it was Paul Anka's....and went on to wish me good luck with my songwriting....that's what makes a quality bloke. 5.The song this week is one I found in my drawer from back in the day......it was a song I wrote about Chester Zoo and which I pitched to the Zoo and they ordered a stack off me (that's the way to do it).....it is sung by a lovely young lady called Julie Bright who did the clubs and was one of my female session singers....and as she was from Chester she got quite a bit on mileage from the song

Find your voice - Episode 23 "She's just a normal girl" by Kelli Doorne #23Tagline: "Even when times are tough, she still believed that kindness was her super power and that's what got her through... " - Kelli DoorneKelli Doorne, has finally found her voice, and I am the first to say YES!Kelli bravely, opens up and shares her story of how she left home in her teenage years and became homeless. Realising that she was opting to run away when things got bad during her young years, Kellis fight of flight response never saw her stand up take account and fight.But things have moved on so much because, even as a struggling teenager who couldn't find her way in life she always relied upon her Kindness and believed deep down that this would supersede all her problems and see her through. In agreement with her thoughts, we both emphasise what a better place the world would be if we could all just be kind to one another and help each other more often, because it's the right thing to do.On a final note, knowing how much courage this took from Kelli to openly come onto the podcast and share her story I want to acknowledge her for her bravery, for the work she does in Milton Keynes and wish her all the best in the future.I also would urge you all to follow her journey but just don't tag her into anything that is related to Octopus!Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kelli.doorne Have an awesome day & #JustDeuit & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the host Arenof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so firstly I just wantto begin once again by saying thank youto every single one of you who havetaken time out of your day to try andlisten to our episodes I hope you findthem inspiring and motivating and I hopethey at least add some level ofinformation or tangible actions andsteps that you can incorporate in yourlife now moving on to today's episodeagain this is somebody who I think isperfect for this show it's somebodywho's struggled to almost find her voiceand somebody who has suffered with somelevel of adversity but also in terms ofjust sharing her story up until todayshe's found her voice and alongside thatshe's also in a position now where shewants to have a positive impact onpeople who are perhaps going throughsimilar situations so this is afantastic story with Kelly who sufferedwith homelessness and quite a few otherups and downs as well in her life butmore importantly what I really lovedabout this story was how it kind ofsegwayed into human qualities and weended up speaking a lot about kindnessnow I'm not sure about you guyslistening but I personally thinkkindness is one of the number-oneattributes that we should all what weshouldn't be born with really but Isuppose some of us can perhaps learn tobe more kind but I think if you all hadthat in the back of our heads in all ourday-to-day actions I think the worldwould just be a better place so withoutfurther ado let's get this episode onits way so firstly I just want towelcome Kelly to the show today and Iwant to thank the listeners for tuninginso Kelly how are you doing today yeahgood Erin thanks thanks so muchhave me you're very welcome you're verywelcome so Kelly I'm myself actually weboth had a couple of drinks over theweekend I had in mind 48 hours beforeand you can probably still hear it in myvoice but Kelly obviously sounds muchbetter than myself so it's great to haveyou finally herewe have had to rearrange a few times allmy fault that's all right well I'm justglad that you're here today because Ithink your story is going to be veryinspiring for a lot of people and Ithink to get it started basically whatwe can do is if you wouldn't mind isjust give the listeners a little bitabout yourself a little bit about yourjourney your story and what basicallybrings you on the show find your voicetoday all right okay well first of allit's absolutely terrifies mebut the reason I'm on here today is I amusing my story of when I was homelesswhen I found myself homeless at 16 toraise awareness and money to support alocal charity that goes a long way tohelping the poverty and homelessnesssituation in Milton Kings I'm quite aprivate person really but sometimes youjust have to use what you've got inorder to get resultsso I guess my my journey starts reallyin Nigeria which is where I was born Iwas born is there be no quite a lovingfamily and but my dad was an alcoholicand we went through some some troublingtimes but the most of what I remember asa as a youngster really was my mum andher strength not not too much about mymy real dad and we I have another sisterand a brother who's disabled mum had alot on a plate and we spent a lot oftime why spend a lot of time kind ofbeing ferried about between my Nan'shouse and my mum's house and kind ofhaving two homes I guess mm-hmm so heyeah eventually mum kicked dad out forthere for the final time and we we movedquitefew miles away to be moved up to NewportPagnell which is just on the outskirtsof Milton Keynes that stage of my lifewas where it is interesting I feltreally ostracized out of place anddifferent from everybody I'd grown up inin London my mother in North London andI felt a bit rough I felt like so rougharound the edges and all my new friendshad pretty long blonde hair and therewas me with like brown spiky hair and ifelt quite different but nevertheless wekind of made it you know we made it wemade it through really my mum my sisterand I um just by keeping quite tight andbut then but then things started tochange and I don't know you know whatyour experience offers being a teenagerbut actually with the hormones andchanges and friend groups and you knowexpectations and all different stuffcomes into your life and at that point Ikind of started to break away from myfamily and my sister had moved out andshe was she was my rock my mum had a newboyfriendand soon to be married they had a newbaby and everything kind of changed forme and instead of dealing with it I at13 I found raves and I started going outraving instead right so that was reallythe point in my life where you know Istart to pay a bit too hard and a bittoo young and it was at a point when Ithink it's like 19 3 maybe a little nonot 93 sorry a little bit later when mymy sister was a couple of years old thenincident happened where I thought Ithought that I might have have reallyhurt my little sister and I and Ifreaked outand instead of once again dealing withit and talking to my familyI just ran away and I ran away from homenobody knew where I was I didn't know Ididn't quite understand it myselfand by just yeah I had to escape so Iended up sleeping in hostels under abridge one night and it was a is prettyterrifying it's pretty terrifyingWow but I don't even know to start withthat there's so many things that I wantto pull out from your story there if wejust quickly go on that a last bit thatyou mentioned so you were sleeping inhostels you were sleeping under bridgeshow long did this period lasts for wellit's our monastery no don't I can'tquite remember and it's gonna be like acouple of weeks where I was I hadliterally nothing no home no nothing Iwas surviving by as I go into the hostelthey give me a cup of tea and a biscuitin the evening I remember then I had togo and sleep in these dormitories andthey have like plastic sheets from thebed and you know I was sixteen years oldonly 16 years old and I was actually runaway from home for about six months wentback tried living at home and then ranaway again because but obviouslyostracized myself at that point quitedrastically but the period of actuallylike being entirely homeless wasprobably a few weeks my first stepsgoing to the church eating lunch is islonely so lonely Wow I mean I can onlyimagine I've heard I've heard storiesand we have been very fortunate to havehad somebody who suffered withhomelessness on this show earlier whenwe first started and it's even the wayyou described it now it almost soundshorrific I mean even at home in my owncomfort of my own home when when theheating's low you feel that straightaway so to imagine as a very youngteenager 16 year old having to cope withthat but one of the things that I foundprevalent from your story and a coupleof times you mentioned it was wheneversomething was going wrong you werealmost running away as opposed to kindof facing your fear yeah and theI want to point that out just for theaudience as well because obviously we'vespoken offline as well and you coming onthis show has has taken the immensecourage so I fully appreciate and I'mvery grateful you're sharing this storybecause I know what it's like to haveanxiety to have shyness to kind of findyour voice if we use the cliche and I'mvery grateful that you're in a positionnow obviously wiser from the experienceand everything that you've been throughto now use your voice to do the greatthings like you mentioned the localcharity that you're now working with inMilton Keynes which is fantastic becauseI'm sure that's gonna help people whomay be in a similar situation toyourselfon that note though are you finding iffor instance you went through someadversity today are you still doing thewhole fight-or-flight thing and are youable to kind of stay there and fight oryou still seeing yourself fleeing fromthe situation my my natural stay is isto walk away absolutely it is to walkaway and I sometimes that's a that's astrength sometimes you know not fightingis M is always a good thing not to fightbut at the same time sometimes whenyou're going through situations you youand especially if when you're young youneed somebody to help you face thoseproblems and I don't think I had thesupport structure around me at that timeto help me do that and learn thoseskills potentially think that though thepoint of why I want to share my storyand it's that what knife wasn't awfulfor me it really wasn't you know I wasprobably a grumpy teenager hopefully alittle bit jealous that this new fellowhad moved into my house and there was ababy and you know not the attentionwasn't on me and it sounds really daftbut you know I was a normal child Ididn't get into too much trouble or popfrom going right in I didn't get intotoo much trouble but this still happenedit was I was still on the streets and itcan happen to anyone any point in theirlife and I think it's important foreverybody to recognize that homelessnessdoesn't just happen to drug addicts youknow it doesn't happen to people thatyouyou think it happens - it happens toanybody absolutely I think you just yousaid a very important point there sowe're always one decision away frombeing the situation that you were thereso I would never see someone homelesswhether they drinking or whateverthey're doing as somebody who is adruggie or somebody who's got an alcoholproblem I would just see somebody who'sprobably just made that one bad choiceand then as a spiral has seen themselvesin that in that predicament or in thesituation so I think that's that's areally really useful point and you alsoobviously you've got the self-awarenessnow and that probably comes through lifeand experience that you're a confusedteenager you've sinned in an alcoholicfather and and all the impact thatalcohol can have on families especiallyup to that extent you've then finallymoved away from that situation only forthen your sister to leave you and thenall of a sudden your mom's found a newfellow like you said got a new baby thenall of a sudden you're kind of feelingalmost lost and like you said jealousand I think yes that's probablysomething that we'd all be lying if wesaid we never fallacy at some stage youknow Aren absolutely absolutely I meanI had my younger brother was probablynine years young again probably don'tremember the exact days but I'm surethere were moments when he's probablygetting all the attention and I'mjumping around thinking hey what aboutme what about me over here and thenagain it comes down to your circle sothe one thing I say I was very fortunatewith is my parents sent me to grammarschool not my choice but it's very rareat least growing up for myself to havegrammar school students who were goingto do crazy things on the night I I meanthe most exciting thing we ever did wasrevised for her exams or yeah absolutelyor do a bit of extra studying so Isuppose although at that time I hated itit's probably kept me from doing crazythings because I was very easilyinfluenced as a kid so I'm very veryfortunate for that but I just think it'snice of you now to be in this positionwe're obviously you've learnt a lot andyou said something else I thought wasbrilliant it was sometimes it's astrength to obviously walk away and justto counter that as well sometimes youhave to fight as well and sometimes wehave to also realize that any adversitywe get through life if we can just holdon and maybe persevere through that itbecomes a brilliant gift and it becomessomething that will make you so muchmore resilient to life because whetheryou admit it now or not is it just thosefew yearsyou've lived on the streets and theexperiences that you've overcame itmakes you such a stronger person I thinkwhen you when you look at things Ibusiness it yeah they sayfail fast so sometimes walking away isthe is the best thing you can do butsometimes you just need to stick out forthat one minute more to get the resultsthat you want and that happens in bothlife and business I'm saying I couldhave stayed at home at that point when Ithought I'd hurt my sister and faced itand I could have just stayed eat livingin a you know in a loving environment Idon't know what my life would have beenlike if I'd done that you know insteadof wandering around the streets notknowing this back in 1996 our and Ididn't know what the time was even andso yes it's been walking around thestreets at that point in my life this issilly at the same time from a selfishperspective if you had stayed in thatloving environment and not going intothis homeless world you wouldn't be onnational today to share your story andalso to kind of inspire other peoplebecause like you said there's so manyother people out there making probablythe same decisions as yourself and if wecan just make them maybe think twice ormaybe understand why they're doing itbecause as a teenager sometimes we justwe don't even know why we do the thingsthat we do so I think that's reallyimportant okay fantastic so you'vetouched on business towards the end ofthat and you said obviously this timeswhere we need to just try that one moretime or there are times where we need tomove away what's a day like for you nowobviously you know I'm hoping it's notunder bridges and it's not insurance sowhat's a day my life like I've Kelly Icould say that I'm in a lovely warmloving home again now and I have twochildren so they're both teenagers and14 and very soon to be 16 and and I'mwith my fiance and we're getting marriednext year but congratulations thanksvery much and routine for me freaks meoutI read the word routine like okay thishas me somuch as I probably do have one I try notto think about it too much I don't evenlike the fact that my diary tells mewhat to do quite stubborn that'sinteresting yeah and but I'm quitecreative I like I like making stuff up Ilike doing what I need to do at the timeand going with my feeling and so yeahthe word routine freaks me outdoes it bring out your rebellious sidefor you think no I just don't want to doit yeah I just say I don't want to dothat right now I want to do somethingelse and but I'm sure I have one I meanI always cup of coffee into first thingin the morning okay after that it's whatI need to get done rather than what Ishould know what I don't set routine formyself understood and what what do youdo for work and business now and so I doI am a marketing coach so I coach newbusinesses on marketing but I work for acouple of law firms as well on theirbrand and marketing fantastic they'll beuseful for the audience as welllistening okay brilliant so we'veobviously touched on probably yourbiggest adversity now in life in termsof confused teenager finding herselfharmless in a place where we wouldn'tprobably wish anyone to be in thatactual moment sleeping rough and notknowing where your next meal is comingfrom well not knowing what the time wasas you said what's the biggest lessonsthat you've learned in that experiencethat you can share with the audience askfor help yeah I think there's some ofthe things I didn't do I didn't know howto ask for helpI remember one days that were going intotheir hostel and I the person he wasthere the night support person turnedout to be my month Mike one of my schoolfriends mums Wow and I mean I would havethought that I would have been soembarrassed like cripplingly embarrassedbut you know whatit wasn't embarrassed I was gratefuljust to see a face that I recognized andI think if I look back on my time Icould have just said to her I need helpyou know get me back my family I need Ineed something to help meand I didn't and so at that point thenalthough you were running away from youstill wanted to come home it wasn't akind of a matter of you wanted to getaway from that situation you just he wasalmost like a cry for help would you sayyeahyeah definitely I was just I was soterrified that I'd hurt my sister atthis point of my life I didn't know forsure whether she was hurt or not itturns out that she wasn't turns out thatwhat I had going on in my head wascompletely made-up and she wasabsolutely fine but I was just so scaredthat I've done something wrong and I hadto that's why I ran away Wow and that initself is a lesson I think for everyoneand something that I've probablyexperienced more times than most is thatwe sometimes overthink things and wethink this person is thinking this othersoar this person's going through thiswhen really all we need to do isliterally ask them the question iseverything all righthaven't done something wrong and alsoowning it and I think this is somethingthat I've really kind of got to grips onduring my adult life I mean I'm nearly40 now and so just owning your problemsyes you make a mistake that's okay weall make mistakes it's like hey you knowsome mistakes are worse than others butyou've got to own it you've got to takeresponsibility for it and then you haveto either you know resolve it or moveforward you can't let your mistakes keepyou in the in the past I think that's abrilliant point yeah absolutely takeaccountability for what you have and Ithink the more accountability you cantake for your mistakes providing thatyou learn from and you don't keeprepeating the same ones it actuallygives you a sense of power and I supposepeople will look at you in a differentway you'll look at yourself in adifferent way because otherwise you'reeffectively you just passing the powerover to someone else and you're almostafraid to take that so I think that'sthat's a brilliant yes exactlythank you for sharing that okay sothings are going well for you now whichis lovely to hear you've done you've gota suit to be 16 year old and a 14-yardand you get married next year so greatnews for them and I hope everything'sokay yeah absolutely I hope everything Iwas amazing for that but I want to askyou what's your biggest fear then rightnowoctopus is right okay not expecting thatyeah really I can't look I can't standup this is I think they're way tooclever and and I think they're aliensbut if you put them aside I think it'smy children and if when my children growup I don't want them to reflect on itand say you could have done better forus and I just want to make sure thatthey're happy secure and that they areinspired that they are grounded you knowand above all I think kind kindness thatthey take kindness in through their lifeand I think that's that's my biggestfear and my biggest challenge I'm sureyou do a wonderful job on that and Ithink kindness is it's probably thenumber one thing my mom ever taught meand I'm very very grateful for that andI think I'm sure you're doing theexactly same so there's probably nothingto worry aboutbut the thing we probably should worryabout is octopus's thinking thinkingahead now you haven't booked a honeymoonhave you anywhere close to like theocean or anything no we are the weddingis going to take place right in up inthe top of the outs so we're quite niceand safe from any octopi fantastic okayI was not expecting to answer I've neverheard anyone say that have you actuallyseen octopuses on land that isn't that agood thing because I'm they can help youout in the kitchen no point taken for ittaken well at least you're in themyou said the Alps did you yeah I don'tKelly well well I was sure the best fornext year is are with that and lookingforward to follow you in your journey soyou're doing marketing now and youdefinitely sound like you're in a muchbetter place in terms of your mindsetand your ability to reflect oneverything that's going on in your lifewhat's your biggest sense of motivationand inspiration on a day to day basisother than your kids because I knowyou're gonna probably say your kids asyour first answer so let's choose adifferent answer actually I wasn't okaywhen an my name has been one of thebiggest most their biggest and mostinspiring figures in my lifeshe's not with us anymore sorry Taylorand she passed away five years agoin June by still hear her every dayevery choice I make every signs havewent up thinking about that but she wasso inspiring and the way that shehandled herself for the people hertenacity setting up businesseseverything about her was it was amazingwithout trying to put her on a pedestalshe was simply the best person I've everknownso she inspires me and motivates meevery single day that's brilliant I loveit um I was gonna say I'm very sorry tohear that brace it's a lovely messagethat you said how you still here and youtake that and I'm sure she's probablylooking down whatever you believe in interms of God spirituality or somethingbut I'm sure she's looking down as she'svery very proud eating at me going in myhead I think if she approves that thenI'm happy if I think she wouldn't not somuch it's probably a brilliant way toalmost act out your days because you'realmost thinking you would never want tolet her down and obviously you want hername to be remembered in a nice way soyour actions and everything that you doin the world I mean I know we're all ourown people but I think you're almostliving for her as well if that makessenseso yeah I think that I think that's abeautiful message okay brilliant Kellyso we are actually moving along veryquickly today and we're actually at thefun part of the show so this is the bitwhere I think you were a little bitanxious about because I'm gonna beasking you all sorts of very very easyquestions but I suppose when when thetime is on it can get a little bitoverwhelming but I'm sure you're gonnabe fine indecisive right okay so I takethat back then we might have a bit of astruggle here but let's see how we getonwe're gonna do probably 60 to 90 secondsof just very well I was gonna say easybut let's see how it goes are you readyyeah brilliant okay we're gonna go inthreeone okay what did you eat for breakfastI haven't eaten today if you couldrelive one day again what day would itbe Oh crikey that's a hard one and AH Ihave two children that's really tough Ithink the first time I ever helped my mybaby in my arms I would relive that dayagain the first time I ever helped mybaby and I loved itthe ability to fly or be invisibleinvisable is sneaky but I think like butI think I'd like the feeling of flyingsome swaying who do you admire most inthe world it's still mine own money orfame and money your proudest moment Idon't know I don't know I can I pass Ijust don't know if we can do a few yeahokay your favorite food my favorite foodis cheese choice okayspeak or languages or be able to speakto animals how can you choose likelanguages I guess languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it be and Trump good answer okaywhat song best describes your lifewhat song surprised me hey hi oh I don'tknow titlesI could probably hum it you're welcometo sing it if you want I can't think ofone more pass if you had an extra hour aday how would you spend it on the sofawith my fellow Netflix or YouTubeNetflix your favorite TV show everfriends there's a pretty consistent Iwas gonna say yeah I think that's themost popular answer I've had okay wouldyou rather not how you will die or whenyou were die how your worst fear is achild probably octopuses they still keepcoming back okay what is your biggestaddiction your favorite place in theworld I would I would say at home withmy family but I also have a particularfondness for Byron Bay in Australia Ilove it that place was amazingokay read minds or predict the futureread minds your favorite superherosecond oh my god this is named Owen mannamed Ironman for sure good choice andfinally your biggest strength kindnesslove it love it see that was it too hardactually bless you actually you're thefirst person to have a pass on an answerthough but yeah don't worry thebeautiful thing with podcasting is Ican't edit it out by a flight flightyeah absolutely you walked away it'sfineokay brilliant so Kelly the next thing Iwant to ask you actually then is it'sabout reflection so as we've spokenabout briefly the beginning of thisepisode I saw some wonderful thing andit can teach us a lot it can teach ushow to get to places quicker easier orwith less heartache but I'm a firm firmbeliever that the journey also teachesus a lot and sometimes we have to gothrough these circumstances and thetrials and tribulationsso knowing exactly what you know nowwith all of your knowledge andexperience if you could go back andwe're going to take you back now to yourteenage years which i think is relevantto this story knowing exactly what youknow now what would you whisper in theears of a young Kelly I think be braveand be brave and be brave and posturewhich was I'm looking for tackle yourproblems like deal yeah deal with yourproblems don't run away from them I lovethat that's fine is that a kind of amessage as well that you'd always tryand teach or your kids as well yeah Idon't know how successful I am in doingthat okay thank you parenting is anexperiment in parenting so firstlywhatever works and secondly I've got noidea how they're going to turn out sowhen they're about 25 ask me thatquestion again and we'll see if it worksokay fantastic we'll get you back on theshow brilliant okay so suddenly thatactually brings us to the last questionof the day and the last question arealways ask my guest it's about legacy soif in a 150 years time science fails tosave us all and all that exists is abook and this book is aboutKelly and it tells us all the weird andwonderful things that you've done inlife all the things you've achieved andall your ups and downs firstly whatwould the title of the book be andsecondly what would the blurb at theback tell us about Kelly so it's a hardone I've been thinking about this but atthe same time I remember having aconversation with my best friend a fewyears ago and about this particulartopic and I think that my book would becalled she's just a normal girl becauseeven though I've gone through quite alot in my time when I the stories that Icould tell you about being homelesswould be would be quite shocking and thepeople that I've met and on the way thethe trouble that I could have got intothe trouble I did get into all of thatbut I'm just just a normal girl likethere is no different to me than anyoneelse so I think that would be the titleshe's just a normal girl and withregards to the blurb on the back um Iwould hope the people that read my storyand would say that even though even whentimes are tough she still believed thatkindness was her superpower and that'swhat got her through I love that I loveit I think spreading kindness isprobably probably the best thing we canall teach each other and we could alllearn from absolutely I mean just bejust being kind I actually wrote a postfunnily enough about three hours ago onFacebook and it was it was one of myfirst few things I wrote in therebecause it costs nothing to be kind andthere's actually a few influences nowthere who actually using the wholekindness thing as a sort of as like abuzz word but really shouldn't just besomething that's installed in all of asudden Wow from day one yeah I wish I'dwritten my LinkedIn profile buyeractually goes through all of my corevalues so independents adventurecuriosity connection strength and growthand and then at the end of it it sayswell what about kindness and the waythat I address is is it should just comeas standard absolutely it shouldn't haveto be someone's core value it shouldactually just be live that's what weshould do we shouldn't have to learn ityes it's funny but I don't know Isuppose we're also in a society wherewe're almost firefighting on a dailybasis and where there's people competingwith each other there's a lot ofjealousy there's a lot of scarcitymindset that I tend to find as wellespecially when I started my lotentrepreneurial journeys and went intodifferent fields and it's only recentlynow started to get myself a very goodnetwork of people who just want the bestfor you and when you start living inabundance and realizing that the morepeople you can connect with the morepeople you can help and more people youcan be kind to you just you just spreadsomething that's infectious and andbeing now wanting it back I think theodds of doing without receiving is youknow people need to learn that a lotmore give without wanting to receiveabsolutely without expectationshopefully agree it's funny you just saidthat as well because I I was meeting adevelop and I'm going off on a bit of atangent here but we were speaking aboutthis and I was saying that's kind of myphilosophy is the way again I say againmy mom's always taught me just give butnever expect nothing back because oneyou probably be disappointed but to youknow give if you're giving someonesomething you're giving it them becausemaybe they're not in a position tonecessarily help you back so it's almostsilly to expect them to be able to helpyou back if that makes senseso when you give something and you tryand be kind you try and lift somebody upjust do that and just just be nice aboutit but don't expect them to help youwhen they can barely help themselves ifthat kind of makes sense and I've alwaysjust seen it that way so I've been veryfortunate people now start to help me upin my business and at the same time I'dalways try and reciprocate that withother people as well so I think I thinkKelly that's a beautiful message and onthat actually I'd love it if you couldnot only share your LinkedIn profile forthe guests but also where else you'dfeel comfortable with people reachingout to you if you wouldn't mind maybeafter this show because I think you'remore than just a normal person how youdescribed yourself on the front of thebook it's it's been a lovelyconversation with you I'm glad you'realmost finding your voice and I know wespoke about this previously on Facebookvery briefly and it's got a lot to teachpeople you've got a lot that they canlearn from you and I just think you thishas been a lovely chat so I reallyappreciate you for that and I'd love topour all your reachable social mediaoutlets onto my show notes if that'swhatyeah that'd be fine these if isn'tbusiness the one place that I would likepeople to go to is a Facebook group okayso it's called one-man brand but thepoint of it is and isn't just about youknow having my group it's about having ahive mind so it's about bringing yourskills and your expertise and helpingother people within the group so ifyou're an accountant what whatinformation can you give to other peoplethat was going to help them and showthat you're an expert in your field aswell so that's that's what I'm trying toachieve so anyone in that relation cango there fantastic I think that'sbrilliant I think that's something thatliterally every single person listeningto can probably join on to because wehave to acknowledge it but we allprobably Excel in certain areas morethan others and I think it's aboutrecognizing that so I think that'sbrilliant the hive mind thing are youhappy with people contacting you onFacebook or should we just keep it tothe Facebook group for now yeah I'm openI network and speak to anyone that wantsto anyone that wants to speak back yeahbrilliantagain I'll run and just thank you onemore time for coming on for overcomingyour fears it's been fantastic to hearabout your stories been very inspiringas well and also I want to thank thelisteners at home thanks for listeningthanks and remember this podcast isabsolutely free so all we ask in returnis for you to share this with a friendand drop us a five star review over oniTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 21 "Using exercise to help your Mental Health" Michael Hayes #22Tagline: "What's for you, won't pass you" - Michael HayesMichael Hayes, is one of the most positive, infectious people I have been fortunate enough to have connected with during my time as a Podcaster. A genuine individual who focuses in his own time on promoting positive links between mental health and exercise and whilst spreading authentic, honest and tangible messages through his social media platforms.Michael does not do this for any monetary reasons, but since seeing those close to him suffer with mental health he made a choice to use his expertise in health and fitness and promote a positive link of enhancing not just your physical well-being through exercise but also improving your overall mental health.Our first Irish/Aussie on the show who proves that real messages and honest advice is the same across the world and if you want to ensure you get genuine advice his story is definitely worth following. Michael also admits to having suffered little adversity in his life although when you finish this episode you would probably agree that even if he was, or had, he would not have seen it as a burden or adversity and likely just smiled his way through it.All the links to follow Michael's journey are below and a final note before you go check that out, which I think is worth mentioning and came from his mother is: "What's for you, won't pass you".I urge you all to follow his journey and support him on making a positive difference in the world of fitness and mental health.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mentalhealthfitnesscoach/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentalhealthfitnesscoach/ RU Okay: https://instagram.com/ruokday?igshid=r9o8sro81bv3Have an awesome day & #JustDeuit & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I am delighted to beable to bring to you today Michael Hayesotherwise known as the mental healthfitness coach now Michael is irish-bornbut now living over in Australia andwhat he has done is he's taken a passionof his ie personal training but he'slinked it very very closely to somethingthat we can all relate to mental healthnow the way he links mental health andfitness is fantastic and it's probablynot what you're gonna expect especiallyfrom somebody who now operates onInstagram not quite the influencer thathe will be one day but Michael'smessages are incredible and I certainlyurge you after this episode to engagewith Michael and follow him on hisjourney because alongside he's workedwith mental health and exercise Michaelis also just a very very positive personin fact he's probably the most positiveperson I've had on the show and I saythat after interviewing so manyincredible guess he's infectious he'sgot a great aura about him and all he'strying to do is make you guys feelbetter both physically and mentally so Ithink without further ado let's jumpstraight into this interview okayfirstly I'd like to start by welcomingMichael Hayes to today's show and I wantto thank Michael for taking time out ofhis day to come on and share his storyand secondly Michael I just want to knowhow are you doing today my friend yesreally good yeah just back from work sosettling in for the night now how aboutyou how's your day been yeah my day hasbeen good so it's early more I say earlymorning is 10 o'clock here so my day iskind of startingfor anyone listening you can probablytell from Michaels voice straight awaythat he's not got this amazing Brummieaccent that I have he's actually fromAustralia so it's our first Australianguest on the show so again I'm verygrateful for thatI think to get this started Michael ifyou wouldn't mind if you can just kindof tell our audience a little bit aboutyourself a little bit about your storybecause hopefully that way you'll givethem an insight in relation to yourselfand also give them an understanding asto why I reached out to get you onto ashow yeah absolutely and I'll just startoff by saying that I'm actually Irish soI've I've been in Australia for the lastseven years so I'm after getting a bitof a twang since I moved here so I likeit I get some serious grief up everyonefrom home when when they hear just whatanyway yesyeah I've been living in Australia thelast 7 years so I guess I run a anInstagram page and a Facebook campaigntype thing called mental health fitnesscoach so I'm pretty much peachy turnedinto just someone that's trying to getpeople to exercise for for all the rightreasons I guess so for your your mentalhealth is sleep for your mood to reducestress and to not look at it from youknow I want to get a six-pack or I wantto you know the quickest way to lookgood on the beach or things like thatjust getting people to take a step backand say you know this is more there'smore to exercise and to and to fitnessand just how you look or you know thematerial things it's there's a lot moreto it a lot more deeper things thatpeople should be focusing on thatunfortunately in this day and age theydon't tend to be so that's where where Iam and that all came about for me I wastrue my work I was doing this 30 days ofexercise and for 30 minutes for 30 daysof exercise for your improved mentalhealth and through that process I wasdoing just my own Instagram post andputting things up this was before thetime of mental health fitness coach so Iwas just posting things off about my own30 minutes of exercise each day andputting little snippets up about thebenefits of exercise your mental healthand putting some bits up also aboutencouraging conversations around mentalhealth and through that 30 days I gotlots of feedback frommy own friends and some really closefriends as well as my family and some ofmy immediate family about strugglesthey've had with mental health and thiswas things that I had never known so itwas a big wake-up call and surprise tome at the time when you know I wasputting these things I would thinking ohyeah you know it's it's great for peopleto exercise remember heads but meantimeI was going on not realizing that a lotof people close to me had suffered orwere suffering with their with theirmental health so that was at thebeginning of it all for me you know itwas a real big eye-opener and from thereI just kind of thought at the time I wasa PT and looking after a gym and kind ofI look I'm in a good position here wheresome people look to me for that fitnessadvice and I'm sorry my former top looksat me for that fitness advice and thisis a time where you know I'm a personthat yeah that people look to and I'lljust put that positive message out so Istarted to mental health fitness coachand it was all about just exercising forthe right reasons and it's about threeyears ago now and you know back then thethe fifties and all those things wereyou know at the big thing now it's bootybends and all that and you know it'sjust it's just not the reason thatpeople need to be exercising like youknow it just just do it for it foryourself and for your mood and yourrelationships that's that's the bigmessage that I try to just send out topeople and I've been doing that now forthe last yeah coming on three years nowa mental health fitness coach and it'snot really anything that I'm doing for agood monetary sense it's just trying toget that that message out there and sofar I think of impacted quite a fewpeople just through my own post if I canhave a positive impact on a few peopleand that's great and if it means someonegoes out and does it hurt him in a walkevery day where they wouldn't have doneanything before and that that helpstheir their daily life then you knowthat's fantastic and that's kind of whatI'm hoping to achieve through all ofthis that's fantastic mate so we'refirst I just want to acknowledge you forthat as well because I think it's anincredible thing that you're doingyou're encouraging people to exercisefor the right reasons so I was a fellowPT I similar to yourself I share thesameviews that we shouldn't necessarilyexercise for that six-pack or how wethink we should look I the Instagrammodel life and it is again it's my kindof way of releasing my tensionsthroughout the day it helps with mentalhealth myself so I think I love thatmessage about it but I also love andwhat you touched on is that you'vemanaged to encourage conversationbetween your friends and family who havesuffered with this mental health intheir own personal lives and I thinkthat's that's a testament one toyourself that people can obviously comeout and speak to you and feel openlycomfortable about that but I think it'ssomething that as a society across theworld in Australia England wherever weareis that we need to encourage thatconversation about mental health and Ijust think that's a fantastic thing andthis is one of the actual reasons that Ireached out to you specifically I seenyour messages and I just thought thiswould be like a really good person tocome on and the fact that you don't dothis for the monetary sense it is togive back it is to get value I really dourge my listeners at the end of the showto jump on your Instagram page and seethe messages that you're having on thatno I just wanted to ask a bit of apersonal question if you wouldn't mindas well is Michael have you sufferedyourself from depression or are yousimply doing this because you see thevalue in helping other people around youyeah good question no I haven't and I'mone of the lucky people who yeah I'venever had any any issue really with anymental health whether it be depressionanxiety mood swingsanything at all so I've been I supposequite privileged in that sense andthat's where I'm a really reallypositive person and always have been andany because of that when I did this 30days of exercise for 30 minutes for 30days and I got all this feedback for myfriends and family that was when Ithought oh shit like you know I'm livingthis this great life thinking it's allgood and you know I've always reallyjust exercised for myself and in my ownmental health how I'm feeling but all ofa sudden I was like this is actually outthere it's real and you know people aresuffering cos I've gone through my lifethinking you know everything's great youknow everyone's happy yeah nobody's okayjust like uber positive almost at apoint where I was unable to see thatthis could behappening in other people because Isuppose my own positivity blinded me towhat might be happening to others andand I would always I would always lookto the well neither no they must be finethat they I'm sure they'll be okay andtell myself the good happy story but andyeah it's really just the last few yearssince I started this and moved toAustralia and I've really started tonotice this and you know thank God I'venoticed they could you know now I I'mmuch more conscious of my own mentalhealth so when I do go through any modesor anything like that I understandwhat's going on and yeah so no luckilyfor me I've never never been impacted byany mental health things fantastic andhopefully continues that way and youjust said yeah thank God that younoticed it and I think definitely thankGod or whatever you believe in that youhave noticed it because now you're in aposition where you're able to helppeople learn almost lift them out ofthis very dark space and I say very darkspace because my mom suffered withchronic depression for the best part ofthe last eight years and prior to thatagain probably similar tell you when youfirst started I didn't understand mentalhealth it was like what have you got tobe sad about got this to look forward toit was only recently over the last eightyears I've really kind of tried tounderstand men to help myself and it'sfunny that you're almost doing what Iwish I had the time to do which islinking one of my passions which isfitness and the other one which is Ihold very close to my heart mentalhealth because obviously it's affectingmy mom and you link in the two togetherso that's kind of why I resonate towardsyour story a lot because I'm like inanother life if I had a bit moreflexibility and a bit more time and mayif I could live in Australia as wellthat would be an added bonus I wouldliterally be doing the same kind ofthings as you so I want to ask just onsomething else that you touched on thereif you wouldn't mind yeah you've alwaysbeen this happy positive person nowbefore we've had this show we spoke forthe best part of a minute and within asecond of seeing your face on on skypeyou were you were smiling you were happyand I was like this is gonna be a goodinterview I knew straight away becauseyou were good vibes off almost instantlywhat are the careers and stuff have youdone throughout life or what do youthink is the reason that you've alwaysjust been happy or is it just literallyyour mindset has just been programmedthat way I reckon yeah it's just mysaid and it's yeah it's just the wayI've always been you know I hadextremely good parents and a reallygreat family there's five kids in ourfamily and you know I'm the youngest soI was always supported and you knowshowing Sean the right road and yeah Iguess it's just how I've always beenlike I don't know any other way than toput a smile on and have a chat to peoplethat I don't know and you know ifthere's a top conversation that's neededto be had with like say my staff orsomeone's going through a hard time likeI'm always happy to get in and and notthings I would people but yeah I thinkit's just the way I've always been itit's not any one particular thing thathappened that you know maybe thispositive person it's just yeah lucky forme I had a really good upbringing andit's just the way I've been that'sfantastic man and long may it continuebecause the world could definitelybenefit from more people like yourselfjust to kind of spread a bit of sunshineso yeah that's also to hear okay sowhat's a general day-to-day life likeover there in Australia for yourselfyeah and I'm the same as you I lovehabits and I think the biggest thing ofme is just trying to be consistentaround the good things that I do so andI suppose I might actually answer it ona week-to-weekthat's all right yeah absolutely themore relevant to what I do and so reallylike usually on a on a Sunday orSaturday our leader have a mental thinkabout what's going to happen in the weekafter and I've got a spreadsheet thatI've been working off now for the lastyear and a half where I scheduled mytraining for the next week and so I knowexactly what I'm gonna doMonday true to Sunday but one of thethings that I found really good formyself to keep myself consistent with myexercise and I'm a runner so I love torun and so one of the things that I didwanted a very very first thing that Idid was started pack run and I know youguys have Perricone you know the weeklyx 5 kilometer runs yeah so that was thatwas one of the first things that Istarted to do me My partner and fianceknow we started doing Park run and forme I know every Saturday at 8 a.m. onthat pack run and I'm running and that'sthat's what I'm doing I thinkthat's a tenner 11 over in the in the UKand I was like a little bit sleepincreate a in there but for me I know thatthat's what that day is so I've tried tobuild my my exercise and my runningaround just habit and consistency soSaturday is always packed on Tuesday Irun with a run Club in in part and W acalled frontrunner sports performanceand I do a Tuesday 6:00 a.m. everysingle week with those guys and then Ido what R is a fight in every singleweek with those guys so I kind of knowlike whatever happens in life unlesssomething goes completely pear-shapedTuesday Thursday Saturday I'm runningand that's what I'm going to do sothat's one of the things that has helpedme get that consistency for probably thelast almost going on a year and a halfnow probably but running in the lastyear with the front runner guys onTuesday and Thursday and and obviouslymassive improvement in my running fromthat and I'm not a person that you'dlook at that would say yeah he'd be okat running but because of the habit thatI have of doing it every week I've justgotten a little bit better every singlemonth throughout the last couple ofyears and now I'm a decent runnerwhereas people would look at me and gooh he he can't run that faster he can'tdo that or a lot of people always getthe question you know how have youimproved so much it's literally it'sconsistency like I started to go in oncea week to Peregrine's and that's whatprobably did that for three or fourmonths it was just once a week and thenthink I sure would choose to era winsthey ran them session in there and thenit became that the Tuesday Thursday andthey're just ingrained in my daily or myweekly routines now and so that's a bigthing for me as part of every week andthen the rest of the week from a monthat Friday I'm full-time job on my healthand fitness coordinator for localgovernments in parts so and that's whatmy general nine-to-five so I look afterthe gym and our group fitness programsin our community classes and I actuallylove that and one of the very very verylucky people that can say I actuallyenjoy money learning and getting up andgoing to work and there'syou know obviously everyone get sick atwork at time from time to time butthere's very occasions that I'm actuallynot happy to go to work or be at work soand that's my job and through the weekand the rest of the week is family myfiance and the dogs and that's that'sher yeah that's brilliant man I supposeyou've almost found what many of us aretrying to find and you know we alwayshear people getting sad on a Sundayevening and they got work in the morningand you've almost kind of found your wayso it's nice to see that you're havingthat and you also touched on somebrilliant points again which was it'sall about consistency and one of thethings I always say is obviously we ourresort of our habits so I think thatgoing back to your 30 minutes a daythere I mean it's a day in the grandscheme of things I thinking we'reexcited to like two percent a day if wecan just get people to do that as a sortof habit initially and then if it hasthe effects of improving your mentalhealth on a long-term scale I thinkwe're on to a winner so on that pointalone have you got access to a sort of30 day plan or is it's just somethingthat people would need to kind of goback into your Instagram and follow intomy Instagram and follow and you know Idon't have any 30-day plans or anywherethat I suppose that the main thing forme with people and I've had with the gymthat I work at I've had many manyinteractions with people about you knowwhat are they going to do to getthemselves fit and healthy and I wentthrough a period of weight gain where Ididn't realize I was gaining weight butI got up to like 115 or 16 kilos butover the last three or four years sinceI started running I'm back down to 90 soI've had a big weight loss and periodand a lot of people asking me about youknow what should they do and you knowwhat exercises should they do for forthis muscle and you know should I begoing how many times a week should I begoing to the gym and how many reps did Ido and how many said should I do thisexercise and I always say to people andeven when people come to a gym like doyou enjoy going to the gym and if theanswer is yes then it's like yeah yeahokay in you go it doesn't matter whatyou do pick exercises you like thick repranges you like it accept ranges youlike and do thatbecause you're only going to beconsistent at the things you like and ifsomeone comes into our gym and says ohyou know I actually quite like workingout in groups send them straight togroup fitness like if someone came intomy gym and said I hate gymsI hate group fitness classes I'd sendthem straight back out the door and tellthem do something else because there'sno point in them coming towards to dosomething that they're not going toenjoy and they're not going to sayconsistent that because you know youcan't sign up for a gym or an exerciseprogram or sports team if that's notsomething that you actually enjoy likeanyone who wants to get fish you need todo something that you enjoy and that youcan keep doing for me it's running andoccasionally lifting weights so I dolots of running and a fair amount ofweightlifting and that's what I lovedoing and so for for people like youknow if you're looking for a 30 day planor whatever it might be that are lookingfor they need to just look intothemselves and go what I like to andI'll you know we live done living inAustralia so there's lots of outdooractivities you can do so someone lovesstand-up paddleboarding or golfing orgardening or whatever it is you know sothat wasn't it that and see that and youknow make the most of that becausewhether or not it's 2 percent to yourday or however long of your day it isthat you're doing this exercise for youwant to be doing something that youenjoy and yeah it's there's too manypeople and this especially with gyms andgroup fitness classes and things likethatthey do it because other people do itnot because it's something that theywant to do they see someone else gettingresults doing that exercise or they godforbid they go on Instagram and they seethe top six exercises to get awesome adsand they do those exercises and realizethat they haven't been it's really abouthaving a thing to yourself of what do Ienjoy doing and if you don't know whatthat is just go and try a few things goto the gym go to an outdoor class join asports team join a join a running clubyou know try things out and whicheverone it is that you you think you enjoythat's what you'll be consistent at sogo do that Michael I love that answer sotwo things I want to point out firstlythis is why I want people to follow yourpage twolearn from yourself and all these littlenuggets that you just thrown in therebut another reason that actually lovethe answer is because you're confirmingeverything I've been preaching myselffor the last time right so mainlybecause you agree with me because I havefour pillars that I always say are mysword when I work with my clients Iwould say if we can add a to these fourpillars and they are enjoymentsustainability consistency and hard workand I think as long as you have amixture of all of those so the enjoymentside which is literally exactly what youexplained so I think that's a reallyreally important point you said theirconsistency we've already touched onsustainability again if your enjoymentand consistency are on point it's goingto be sustainable if they're gonna keepit goingand obviously I think there is anelement that people think they don'thave to work hard and you touched ontheir this the ABS exercises get abs inthree weeks by doing this it doesn'treally work like that because there's abit more science that goes behind it butgreat answer mate and again I'mconsistently plugging your channelbecause it would be nice to get theaudience to see it from a differentperspective somebody on the other sideof the world almost doing the exact samething and making such a positiveinfluence so I appreciate that answer methank you yesokay so the next question is are yougonna be quite an interesting onebecause a very happy positive person butwhat I want to touch on is adversity andI use adversity in all of my episodesbecause I want people to look at thingsor change the perception of things andjust know that whatever situation you'regoing through however difficult you mayfeel it is in that particular time isthere's always a way out of it if you'rewilling to persevere through it so I'mhoping you've been through someadversity and I mean that in the kindestway possible me because I'm not smilingnow on the other side of it but couldyou maybe take us back to a time wherethings were going as well as you maybehoped or you went through some adversityand how you overcame that and thenfinally the lessons that you learnedfrom that if you wouldn't mind yeahabsolutely and yeah I haven't gonethrough a massive amount of adversity inmy life would that's it I you know I'vehad plenty of tougher harder times thatI've had to go it was the one for methatso tis so obviously I'm living inAustralia I'm came here from lard and soabout three years into when I was here Iwas am working in a job and this job wasgoing to sponsor me to stay in thecountry and just before my sponsorshipwent through I reckon two weeks beforemy sponsorship was all gonna go true andeverything was going to be sweet orCenter closed down and yes so thesponsorship went out the window prettyquick unfortunately was not sure anyfault of the employer that's the waythings went down so and yeah just justwhen I thought I was yeah I'm said I'mgonna be in Australia nothing to worryaboutgot my sponsorship that'll get me my PRwe're good to goeverything kind of just set out out ofnowhere literally out of noise but Ihonestly don't look back now on thattime as a time of adversity or a timewhere I was under massive stress becausefor me at the time I was just alrightwell this has happened no matter what Ido I can't really change the outcome ofwhat's happened to and to the centerit's that's just the way it is so thethe first thing that I was doing waslooking for I would I need a job so Iwent and saw myself some work and I wentback to construction work and that wasfine and and then it was just playingthe waiting game to see when when thisCenter was going to get back opened upsee if that sponsorship was still on thecarriage and and I've had a think Ithink I had four months until I had togo home legally the contrary so yeah andI it was it was going to be a little bitmore time until they got the centre openand they had some roof issues that theyhad to sort out so there was a lot ofconstruction to go on and like just buttrue luck that whole period I just kindof kept on to them and said you knowwhen can I get back in is it going tohappen isn't it going to happen andthere for a while there wasn't a wholelot of talk backwards and forwards so Ijust kept doing my construction stuffaway and and eventually I got back intowork and I got this I got sponsored bushI suppose the big thing for me throughthat wholetime was well look if I get sent home Iget sent home and that's just the wayit's gonna be in and I always had in theback of my mind that it's going to sortitself out one way or another whetherit's through work or whether somethingelse comes up or you know whether I getit I think there was the option of apartner a partner visa with my partnerat the time so you know there there wasoptions there and I kinda just didn'tlet myself get too stressed to thecensus you know I was worrying about itall the time and just kind of got onwith things as best I could and andluckily it all worked out and yeah I'mjust I'm still here now but it was yeahI just kind of keep it that positiveattitude towards this and then yeah itworked out in the end but uh I think agood a good quote and I'm gonna call mymom of all people in the world yeah forthis was a sudden my mom sold me heapsof times Trudy years Witter is going fora job or it's going to interviews oranything that I'm racing or whatever Iwas doing she'd always say what's foryou won't pass you so you know if atthat time if it if it was for me to stayin Oz and you know to go on to be whereI am now then that's what it was goingto be if that's not what how it was timeto work out then something else will popup that would be you know just as goodor betterso really it's you know anytime we do ajob interview or anything like that orespecially if I don't get a jobI always think well that clearly wasn'tfor me so if it was I would have got itkind of yeah on to the next thingthat's fantastic me then it's funny yousaid that quote and I resonated withthis straightaway because my nan so shedoesn't speak English but she speaksPunjabi but these direct words that yourmom says she says the same quote soshe's a very religious person and she'salways had that philosophy sure butactually she's starting to remind me alittle bit of yourself and I mean thatwith utmost respect because she's alwayssmiling she's always happy and she'sbeen through a hell of a lot ofadversity in life but she's alwayssaying you know whatever's meant to beis meant to be if you meant to havesomething come in your life will happenif you're not you're not so I thinkthat's a brilliant way and it's probablywhatkept her going so long so very wisewords from my cause mom so appreciatethat me do you have that do you havethat quote in your grandma's words Iyou're testing my Punjabi haha yeah yeahmaybe one for our line may I try and getyou a translation I don't wannaembarrass myself live online yeah yeahhuge you won't be too happy with mypronunciation but yeah if it is exactlythe same but I think that's brilliant Ithink it's a testament to the way thatyou think always got that positiveoutlet you're always looking at thingsas in just the way that I wisheverybody's in it rather then me if I'mcompletely honest five years ago wouldhave seen that as oh my god the wholeworld's falling down I'm so close to getmy sponsorship it's almost falling theirminds I would go through the rephraseyou're just kind of got that in the backof your head so consciously you'rethinking it's all gonna work out and I'mreally glad it has so in this currentsituation now things are going well foryou what scares you in life do you haveany fears and do I have any serious it'sa good question and I don't think I dolike you know I if anything I'll worryabout other people more than I worryabout myself so I'd you know I kind ofwant to make sure that I was good withwith my close mates and my fiance and myfamily and you know some of my sistersare pregnant at the moment so you knowit's the only things I worry about herare all those guys and you know checkingin and then to make sure everything'sgoing okay but now personally for myselfI don't really uh kind of hold strongsimilansmums advice of you know if it's for youwon't pass you and kind of keep keeppushing forward and yeah if that's agood answerno not absolutely my absolutelydefinitely so are you telling me you'renot scared of all the again I'm speakingas a Brit here we hear all the storiesof the snakes and the spiders inAustraliadoes anything like that ever scare youor ever hear of a red back a red backspider not very little that littlespiders with a red back they're prettyfierce looking they're they're smallsmall little things we get lots ofaround my house we get tons of them sothere's lots of and he has brain sprayred backs around here but no of my hairfunny the way my brother-in-law was isscared and worried about coming overhere and sitting on a toilet boner andwater being underneath it when he catchyou for the yeah look lovely that's themit's pretty unlikely and I've never comeacross too many snakes any more a rod Iguess if I was to say one thing Isuppose on on fear and it's not reallyfear for me but it's just for again forother people it's the current age ofsocial media and the influence thatsocial media influencers have you knowso many people are drawn in by theseinfluencers and you know they take whatthey're saying for fur gospel almost andyou know they they you have peoplebuying these fit tees and you havepeople buying to these 30 day programsand all these detoxes and you knowthere's lots of people that are preyingon people's fears and emotions andgetting to sign up to these programs andto be honest it's a real big issue andit's what is one of the main reasons asI said in my page was just to have analternative option of the the quickfixes and things like this becausethere's so many people that andespecially at our gym and and you knowfriends of mine and I see other peopleputting things up like everyone thinksthat these things work and that there'syou know there's something to it pushesyou know a quick quick thing gonna soferrets it's it's a worry the thecurrent state of the fitness industryonline you know that I think the fitnessindustry in Australia on the groundlevel is really good and really positiveand there's lots of people doing greatthings but the the online influence ofpeople who have no experience in healthand fitness is yeah extremely worryinghopefully with people like you andthings that I'm doing you know it yeahthe common sense approach will will winout in the endabsolutely may I think you just hitsomething that again I resonate with isfind it so annoying that theseinfluences are in a position where theyhave so much impact and they're justbeen unethical and they're not beingauthentic in their message and they'reselling these cookie cut programs orthey're saying you can look like me ifyou do this in six months and I'mlooking at him and I'm like you'reobviously on something that's notnatural for example you've been doingthis for 15 years and you're just tryingto almost manipulate people and tobelieve in it and it's not just thefitness industry to be honest so I'minvolved as a property investor as afull-time occupation and even withinthat there is a massive massive marketof people and the shame is is that theyhave so much influence who prey onpeople who are in an almost like adesperation phase and when you'redesperate you're almost clinging on toanything and it's just reassuring toknow that there are people likeyourselves out there who have thisamazing energy about you and you justhonest and authentic and this is areason I do my show it's to give peoplea voice who aren't influences who Igenuinely believe can make a positiveimpact on the world because I genuinelybelieve if my audience however smalleris or however big it grows follows youthey're gonna get authentic informationinformation that and I don't mean thisbecause I say similar stuff I mean it isbecause we understand the basics behindit and it's nice that you're trying tomake an impressive but it's funny isn'tit because on one end we're looking atthese influences and thinking that theway Instagram and Facebook and stuff isit's it's almost damaging to people'sself-esteem Ament to half but at thesame time we also need it to preach ourmessage and to get our voice heard totry and help people absolutely so yeahyeah it's a funny one so what is yourmotivation then moving forward for yourbusiness is it to enhance your voice toget out there to impact more lives or doyou have another underlying motivationbehind the word that you do yeah look Ijust want to keep doing what I'm doingyou know every one person that I thoughtI impact positively is you know it's forme that's that's the ultimate goal isjust to have a small little impact onpeople's lives whether it's someonestarts doing it you know a tiny bit ofexercise that they've never done beforeor whether it's someone else has a chatthat I made about the mental health whothey think isn't doing so well you knowI just want to keep pushing the messageout there andas far as I'd like to get a little bitmore active on social media given yourfull time job and this is just somethingI do on the side I'm probably not asactive or putting out as good a contentas I'd like to at the moment but I justwant to keep keep growing the theaudience and make sure that the messageis reaching as many people as we can andyou know maybe one day start podcastingor doing something similar to whatyou're in here and chatting to peopleabout their own experience of mentalhealth and Howard are our onlyexperienced mental health exercises haspositively impacted that and which yeahfor now it's kind of keep going as we'regoing yeah absolutelyI think you'd be an amazing advocate forboth mental health and fitness so if youdo get the time and capacity later onabsolutely doing if I can help in anyway in terms of like setting up apodcast or anything please do reach outand I'll try my best to help you buddynot a problem that a stress so we'reactually at the the fun part of the shownow this is the part where I'm gonna askMichael all sorts of weird and wonderfulquestions let me know when you're readyand we're gonna hit the time wrap thenwe're gonna get started it's not okaywe're gonna go in three two oneokay Michael what did you eat forbreakfast nothing if you could reallylive one day again what day would it beoh the day I met my partner the abilityto fly or be invisible invisible who doyou admire most in the world and oh godthat's good question I've no ideado I admire most in the world oh geez mymom I love it when your fame mmm moneyyour proudest momentdropping on one knee your favorite foodhates it speak or languages will be ableto speak to animals or speak to animals100% if you could abolish one thing inthe world what would it beoppression what some best describes yourlife there is a song that I can't thinkof it don't worry be happy whatever thatsong got made that is a hundred percentyouokay if you had an extra hour a day howwould you spend it with my partnerNetflix or YouTube Netflix yournumber-one goal this year have apositive impact if you could sit withone person in the world for an hour whowould it berock your worst fear as a child these asbeing too tall I'm 6 4 but I've beenthink forces I was around 6 Wow okaywhat is your biggest addiction Netflixand finally buddy read minds or predictthe future read - love it ok that's theend of the quickfire round so we got toknow especially when you've got like notime to think as well so I was justinterested yes it but yeah some goodchoices there everyone loves pizza and Ithink I haven't found anyone yet whodoesn't like the rock ok but it's allwe've got fine or 2 questions now we'recoming towards the kind of end of theshow and the next thing I like to alwaysask my guess is more about reflection soI am a firm believer that hindsight is awonderful thing in terms of it teachesus a lot he teaches us how we can get toplaces quicker easier or with lessheartache now knowing you now as aperson you're very positive and youhaven't been through I suppose that muchadversity but if you could perhaps goback to a younger michael hayes knowingeverything you know now and whispersomething in that may be uncertain youngversion of yourself what would you sayand mental health is real I'd like tohave known a lot more about mentalhealth and being able to make an impactearlier I think yeah absolutely I thinkthe world would have benefited so muchas well if you knew but I'm justgrateful I'm sure people listening tothis are as well that you're making animpact now and on that note we areactually on our last question of theshow and the last question again Ialways like to ask all of my guess it'sabout legacy and if science fails tosave us all and all that is left is abook and that book is about MichaelHayes and everything you've achieved inyour life and all the great weird andbefore things that you've accomplishedfirstly what would the title will sayand secondly what would the blurb at theback tell us about you and the titlewould say keep it simple stupid the backwould probably go along the lines of andthis bloke managed to convince everybodythat the simple things done consistentlyand with a little bit of hard work makeall the difference I love that I love itmate thank you thank you for sharingthat I think just that title alone woulddefinitely make me pick up the book justto kind of think about the lastfantastic okay Michael so just before weend the show I want to give again I'vebeen plugging it all the way throughthis episode I want to give the audiencea chance to follow you on your journey Ithink you're a very infectious positiveperson I've really enjoyed thisconversationyou've got me out of my seat I was a bitlethargic this morning had two cups ofcoffee but I'm thinking about the restof the day so if you could tell us whereour audience can find you and what I'lldo is I'll play all of that together andI'll put it into the show notes becauseI believe you're gonna do incrediblethings and you already are so far awaymate oh my cheers thanks for that andyeah so on Instagram it's at mentalhealth fitness coach and Facebook justsearched mental health fitness coach andI'll pop up on both of those I'mactually on YouTube as well as mentalhealth fitness coach and there's a fewinterviews that I did in the past andone of them was with the CEO of are youokay which is a company - an Australiancompany that's are encouragingconversations around mental health andthat's quite a good one to go and lookat and that's actually a really goodresource for anyone in the UK as welland who are you okay just the letter areyou and then okay and that's that's onethat yeah it's probably one of the bestones that we have in Australia so forstarting conversations and how I start aconversation with a friend and what tosayand it's a unbelievable resource so I'dgo check that as well be a bitmental health fitness coach everywhereelse is where you'll finally fantasticand we spoke I think earlier this weekyou've also got another podcast so Idon't normally plug another podcast intothis but I think it'd be really nice forpeople to get to know even more so whatI'll also do is I'll put that in theshow notes as well or are you okay inthere as well because again this issomething that I'll follow personallyMichael it's been an absolute pleasurethank you for your time today and foreveryone else at home thanks forlistening today thank you and rememberthis podcast is absolutely free so allwe ask in return is for you to sharethis with a friend and drop us a fivestar review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Betrayal is when someone close to you violates your trust which can be internalized by your mind and your body as a trauma. We wanted to learn more about betrayal trauma so we asked Ashlynn and Coby Mitchell to join us on the podcast to teach us more about it! We learned so much from them as they talked with us about their personal experiences in their marriage with betrayal trauma, how they have worked towards recovery and what they have learned in the process. They are so easy to relate to and we hope you will appreciate how much they seem to genuinely want to help others by sharing their story. Tune in if you would like to learn more about betrayal trauma, how it manifests and how you can seek help. Please share this episode with anyone you feel may benefit from hearing from this insightful couple!  Resources mentioned in this episode: Ashlynn and Coby's Podcast "The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert":  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-betrayed-the-addicted-the-expert/id1208799616 Find their website here:  https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/ Find their social media here for daily insights: https://www.instagram.com/ashlynnandcoby/ https://www.instagram.com/recovery_coaches/ I Thought it was Just Me by Brene Brown Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts by Stefanie Carnes Search for a CSAT therapist for specialized help. 

I was sitting in the bath, looking out the window and saw what I THOUGHT was a huge eagle in the sky. “JACKPOT!” I whispered to myself. (Side note: I’m an avid bird watcher. I have two bird feeders in my backyard and two nests in my front yard. Something about them just fascinates me!). When a couple seconds later, I realized it was a freaking plane. So I wondered, if the Wright Brothers (the inventors of the plane) can look to nature to mimic something as remarkable as flying…why can’t we look to nature for answers to fertility? I mean – she’s called MOTHER nature for a reason, right? So in this week’s podcast, you’re going to learn: 5 fertility secrets mother nature has for you, to help you conceive your baby

Find your voice - Episode 20 "It's a curse to call yourself a true Entrepreneur, unless you really are" - Penny Power #20Tagline: "Love is the most powerful force in the world, the more you can live within that energy, be that energy and give that energy the better your life will be "Penny Power, OBE is an incredible woman who could complete a podcast series alone. Having labelled herself as an 'Accidental Entrepreneur' Penny formed the first social network for business owners exceeding 650,000 members. However, as many entrepreneurs can relate, she was then forced to handle many ups and downs along her journey and forced to really look deep within herself. Through a journey of self care and discovery Penny began to deal with depression and really find her true purpose and love for herself. A journey she may even consider tougher than the entrepreneurial one.More importantly than the above, Penny is an extremely proud mother to 3 and wife to her husband all of whom she considers the greatest gift she ever received. Penny now coaches people on a 1-2-1 basis transforming not only their lives but also living her true purpose.From depression, to business, to self care to coaching we discuss so many facets that many of you today can relate too and hopefully take nuggets of information to move your lives forward and find your voice!Please check the links below and follow Penny's journey as she is credible, honest and an overall lovely soul.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.pennypower.co.uk/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PennypowerOBE/Twitter: https://twitter.com/pennypowerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/pennyfpower/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pennypower/Books: https://amzn.to/2DPEvfUHave an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so I'm extremelydelighted to bring to you todaypenny power now for anyone who knowspenny they might also know her as theaccidental entrepreneur and the reasonfor that is because penny created thisabsolutely monster of a social networkfor business people in 1998 whichactually had over 650,000 businessowners in it not knowing what she had atthat time penny was sadly disrupted bywhat we know today as linked in sothere's definitely a brilliant storythere and we do discuss that furtherinto this episode alongside this pennyhas also received an OBE in 2014 for thework that she's done and she's seen bymany as a winner and having spoken toher in some depth not just during thisepisode but prior to it she certainly isthat alongside being a mother to threechildren and a wife to her husband pennynow sees herself working with clients ona one-to-one basis and we're in asociety today where a lot of coaches arealmost spawning overnight I mean we'reseeing people with one or two years ofexperience becoming a coach and thenselling their services and being a bitskeptical apart a lot of these coachespenny is somebody I'm certainly notskeptical about because if I was ever torecommend anyone as a coach it wouldcertainly be penny because penny has theexperience and you can tell from the wayshe speaks in this interview she knowsthis stuff so I think without furtherado we're gonna jump straight into thisone it's extremely exciting for me tobring somebody like penny onto mypodcastand I'm extremely grateful for that andI hope you all enjoy this episode thanksfor tuning inok so firstly I just want to thankeveryone for tuning in to today'sepisode today and I've just had afantastic discussion with penny prior tothis actually going live so I've got toknow her a lot there but I think it'svery important that you guys listeningtuning in today get to know the realpenny or Penny powers she is known tomany of us out there today so firstlyhow are you doing todayvery well I feel very well warmed uplovely conversation with you it was itcertainly was I could almost have anepisode out of that just in itself butI'm just for their sake of the listenerswho have just tuned in now and obviouslymay or may not have heard of you couldyou please just maybe give us an insightin relation to where you first started alittle bit about your journey andbasically what brings you here today andso I think you know and I think it'sbeen a journey of finding my voice whichis just perfect I'm gonna try and keepit little 16I went into the IT industry when I was19 I didn't go to university I went intosales and tele sales and joined it whenit was really booming and so it wasfairly relatively easy to excel and Iended up with in about by the age of 24I was sales marketing director of a 80million pound company with about 400staff that I was responsible for and an80 million pound sales line and we hadoffices around the country eight officesand but my first day there I just wentinto there and completely just out ofscarcity and needed to leave home and itwas a job and and I realized I was quitedifferent to everybody else in the roomyou know I wasn't really that focused onthe sale but I was focused on the impactof the sale that would have on whoeverwas buying the product and I actuallyresigned after seven months and I wasgoing to go to the University to do apsychology degree I had finally got myplace and my boss took me into a roomand said why are you leaving I said I'mjust not cut out for business it's notmy world I want to be have more impactin business and he said but you have noidea of the shift that youcreated in the culture of ourorganization and I was ripped shots as a19 year old to be told that and he saidjust be you stay and be you verypowerful when someone says that to youso I did and I built quite a nice careerI'd sort of left that company andactually went off to four othercompanies and then was invited back tobe their sales marketing director whenthey had grown quite substantially andthen at 28 I was blessed with my babyHannah and two more children and that isabsolutely that and my marriage is beingmy highest values my highest joy thething that I think is the most importantthing in my life I think you know thatfall saying charity begins at home Ithink if you put oxygen on your familythen you build a family that doesn'ttake from the world it can give to theworldi I've taken my role as a mum really asmy most important thing in my life andmy merit and my marriage because thatcompletes the family and but I am quitedriven I love I do love business andwhen I was 33 so I had Hannah was fiveand then I had Ross who was three and TJwas just not long born about six monthsold I came up with the idea of the factthat business seemed so lonely peopleworking on their own my husband beingone of them and sort of subject of nightnetworking in 1998 wasn't huge but therewas it was sort of going on but therewas no online networking for businessthere was Friends Reunited and MySpacebut nothing for business so I created acommunity for business online with aculture of reducing loneliness helpingpeople with their self-esteem and herself-worth and helping people to be whothey were rather than just what they didand it grew and it grew and it wasphenomenal but then we got massivelydisrupted we were growing up organicallyit was a subscription-based business tenpounds a month ten dollars ten eurosdepending where you were in the world wewere in 52 countries had 5000 offlineevents here and then LinkedIn took holdso retweet hoffman had actually visitedand used our site a little bit he thenraised three hundred and thirty milliondollars when in theokay we just couldn't raise any moneywe'd raised very small amount of seedinvestment but interestingly he justwent a different route and culture hewent to the business world with hisfantastic tool but it's said it's onlyabout what you are and actually then wesaw that was in 2002 so that was fouryears after we had grown then in 2004Facebook came into the student market2006 Peter came in and the mark I thinkwe all polarized you know this is Who Iam on Facebook this is what I am onLinkedIn an academy sat somewhere inbetween we needed to pivot the businessmodel by now we had lost our house inorder to keep the business going it wasvery challenging the trout childrentraveled around the world meeting ourmembers had little lapel badges withtheir names on them shaking hands atteach ethics or he first startednetworking and anyway in 2008 we went tothe bank and said look can we have aloan to pivot this business and theygave us a 5 year loan enabled us tostart looking at how we can offer freeand start basically doing what we didn'twant to do but in order to survive whichwas going to be sell your data so youyou know what we now upset about in theother markets so obviously that meant alot of our members that were happy topay we're unhappy but did get some newmembers joining who were happy that itwas free but it really challenged ourvalues and then three years into thatwith two years left around the bank loanthe banking crisis happenedwe got a 30 day notice to pay back therest of the two years and they broughtthe business down the bank after 14years so an incredibly painful definingmoments in 2012 and it has been anunbelievable climb to get back any senseof self-worth self belief a big journeyI which we can we can look into it waswonderful in 2014 out of the blue came abeautiful letter and offering me an OBEfor the contributorslovely feeling of validation andbut actually what I really learned isyou can get huge amounts of externalinvalidation in life but unless you canvalidate yourself and believe inyourself and feel your own sense ofself-worth these things are just a bitof gloss on your life and that's been ajourney which culminated in me writingmy book last yearfantastic and your book is called it'scalled business is personal well firstlywhat a journey I probably got more noteshere that again I could do probably apodcast on separately so I just want totouch on a few things throughout yourjourney so you ended with the validationstatement which I don't want to go intocuz I think that's so importantespecially in today's society yeah youwere 19 years old you had almost kind ofdisrupted and made a positive scene inthis industry where there was a fittingcomment and you said just stay and beyou yeah I loved that because I filmedmyself and in an industry where a lot ofmy business comes through social mediathere are people not just beingthemselves I feel that a lot of peoplehave a magic or they're saying thethings that they necessarily feel theyneed to say yeah what people want tohear and I think sometimes we all havesuch a unique gift or skillset that wemay not ever get to see if we're toobusy trying not to be ourselves if thatmakes senseI think I think that was beautiful andyou touched the game moving after thatabout your family and I just resonatedso much with your values in terms ofbreathing oxygen into your family andhow important your marriage is so wetouched obviously prior to this show alittle bit about one of your children Ilost a TJ and just the incredible personthat she is so again that's a testamentto your values and that kind of bringsme to where I am so I touched on theLinkedIn obviously disrupting and it'sand sadly for yourselves you had toalmost kind of pivot but you mentionedsomething which I just found fascinatingwhich was the values bit that reallykind of struck you so it's nice to hearand it's quite refreshing from yourselfthat yes you could have pivoted thebusiness and almost kind of taken on aLinkedIn approach but that's not whopenny is so using that and realizingthat in that moment getting the externalvalidation of OB what did you then do interms of your business I mean is thatstill going now that sort of business orhave you completely shifted it nowtowards really helping people trying tofind out about themselves as in terms offull of himself with yeah I mean Idefinitely has been a thank you for thatthat lovely reflection of what I said Ithink it's been a journey you knowsomething I say when I am coaching andmentoring and I run a mastermind groupnow I take two cohorts yeah so I Isupport people through a mastermindgroup which is beautiful experience wedo need in our values we do need to havea brand we need to know what we're herefor you know that lovely saying to bestdays of your life the day you're bornthe day you discover able all of thesethings are very very powerfulstart with why simon Sinek what it'screated it's created a massive panic ofpeople that don't feel they have it yetand you can't force it so you know wascoaching a lady yesterday it wasincredibly inspired by brainy Brown andher vulnerability statement and simonSinek and all these role models andshe's desperate to find her big messageand I just said just it will come but itabsolutely starts with the seed of whoyou are and you can't force it becauseyou want to market yourself better orwrite a better book or you've just got alot now having a coach or a mentor or aloved one help you coach that out of youis very powerful and I was with abrilliant guy called Sun hartleyyesterday and he's a performance coachand he said these three things you knowyourself be yourself accept yourselfI loved that thought I love that knowyourself be yourself accept yourself andI don't think that we can you know Iwent through a process last year withpsychologists and group therapy becauseI broke and I didn't break to the pointwhere I was you know I was shaking inthe corner but I had a really day ofdevastating experience that dangerousand scary experience on the 30th ofNovember 2017 that I went off to ahospital thinking I had had a stroke orsomething and they found no new logicalthings and and anyway through going tosee psychologists discovered that and Iwas now having some form of mentalhealth challenges and I actually spent alot of time reflecting and thinking andI think I started to break probably foryoubefore I had that incidence it's notsomething I was fat you know you couldstart off you could start off beingcompletely disabled with a bad legthrough or hip through eighth rightousit would start years before you know youget the so I think mental health issuesyou have to start becoming veryself-aware of how you're showing up inthe world before you really know you'vegot them and and you know I believe inmental fitness but there's anothersubject you know starting before itstarts like you do when you look afteryour physical health so the valuesfinding your voice knowing your valuesare very critical you can't force thesethings though and you know when I talkto CEOs of businesses or leaders ofbusinesses they've got pulled into avortex of ambition like this whirlwindof ambition that actually is fantasticif economies create that culture becausethey create to the fear and they createthe culture of you're lacking andtherefore scarcity and and fear and youlack and the market is a brilliance hasit online saying you could be moresuccessful you could be richer you couldbe more beautiful which immediately whenyou actually read that your subconscioushears I am lacking really wave love sobrilliant it's so clever but revoltingso we have to step away from things likesocial media and comparison andRoosevelt said comparison is the thiefof joy it's my favorite quote yeah it'sbrilliant isn't it love it yeahabsolutely and and it's it takes a hugeamount of reprogramming your mind tostop doing thatbut at least once you're aware you'redoing it you feel yourself doing it youcall yourself back into line becausewhen you look at the ingredients of whoyou are you know what makes you up thereis no single human being on this earththe same as you say mercury yourknowledge your skills your intentionsyour passions your experiences youradversities you've it's just absolutelynothing that could make someone the sameas you so therefore comparing yourselfis the first downward spiral really andone that people are so locked into andso you know anyone listening I'll justsay calm down listening to yourself justhave more self-awareness think of yourjoys think of what really sets you onfire all that's that which other peoplewill say but really do it not to makemoney from it to begin with I sawpowerful again I mean I can resonatewith this and I'm not sure if you'vefollowed it in my story or any of myprogression but I try and say a lot ofthis myself because again probablysimilar to yourself I found myself inthe state of comparison initiallyespecially when I started the propertyjourney and I have this habit now andI've kind of I don't do this in a way tooffend people or be rude but I'vestopped almost going on social media andliking people's posts and stuff becausewhat I effectively do now is I have amessage every morning or every eveningthat I want to share with the world andwhat I'll do is I'll write it out andI'll send it out and all of a sudden I'moff social media I'm not there to seehow many likes I get or how many sharesI get because if I fix ain't myself onthat metric in itself what's gonnahappen is if it's law one day the nextday I might be scared to share my truthagain and I think I think one of theimportant things you touched on again ispeople are almost in this panic of wedon't have it but they probably do andit's a patience game I suppose and whereI always say to people he's just speakyour truth speak whatever that comes toyou it's your own perspective it'llresonate with certain people and we'realmost in a society where people aretrying to almost say key and buzzwordsbecause they feel like that's what theyneed to almost same and I think you hitthe nail on the head and I think withyour experiences Ryan you just brieflymentioned the coaching aspect I thinkpeople listening to this show can gainso much value from that so I just wantedto touch on your mastermind that youmentioned is that what's something thatpeople would necessarily need to do inperson or is it something that you cando online from the comfort of your ownhome a really great question so I'vebeen on my own journey and I'm gonnacome back to that if that's not tooannoying so really so when I my - I callmyself an accidental entrepreneur foryears because I was when I came up withhe had a me I didn't know his tiger bythe tail but I had and then I started mysecond business after he had me calldigital use academy which it was highlyimpactful it was workingyoung people I created the digitalmarketing apprenticeship that is nowwidely used and I got investors to putmoney in we invested three hundred andfifty thousand pounds in an e-learningcent system and we distributed thatthrough further education colleges as anapprenticeship and over three years Iout two thousand unemployed very hard toreach young people into jobs giving themthe confidence that their digital skillshad value in the world and and hopingthat they would go into it with us thesort of culture that I believe in aroundsocial media so that was my second whatI call on two-player journey then Istarted my third which is called thebusiness cafe and it was that part ofthe journey that broke me because it wasanother push and what I feel is um theterm entrepreneur is really dangerous tome entrepreneurs are creating somethingfrom nothing and have massive ambitionand Luke Johnson in his book stopsstartup I think it's called saidambition is a curse and not everybodyhas it right to be a true entrepreneuryou have to be massively ambitious andyou have to know how much you're willingto sacrifice in terms of time money andgratification because being true you'rebuilding something as scales and hasimpact and this is the Silicon Valleyworld you know go out raise 300 milliondollars and there and reduce all your 1%and you know it's long busks and MarkZuckerberg the thing that a lot ofpeople your generation and two centsthat my generation came you know we wewitnessed from about 20 to 23 years agowhen ecommerce everything started so Iwould say that you know it's a curse tocall yourself an entrepreneur unless youtruly are so my own personal journey isand where I am finding so much joy nowgoing back to your original questionyeah is that I was employed had mychildren then became an entrepreneuraccident accidentally then they becamean entrepreneur a game with digitalyouth academy then tried to be anentrepreneur game with the business cafeand I still want to bring the businesscafe to market but when I broke my basicmy cup was full I was overflowing foreven a got out of bedmy resilience had gone and I wasexhausted and burnt and the way I'vecome back is by saying actually I'mgoing to be a small business much nicerof course yeaha small business is what is my value toone person and how can I exchange thatvalue for money and impact their livesdirectly so at the moment starting fromJanuary when I launched my mastermindand my mentoring coaching program thisyear I only need to work with about 34amazing people and I will fulfill notonly my emotional needs but my financialneeds and when I go into a room withsomebody I'm coaching I know that I getthat gratification I'm not only seeingthe impact I'm making on that one personbut also they're paying me yeah money isactually ultimately one of the ways weget our worth it is it's I know we don'tchase money but if we're broken and I'vebeen broken and if we can't financiallyafford to feed our children trying to bean entrepreneur is a very very dangerousjourney so going back to your questionam i delivering it online yes I've beenasked that a lotyeah if as soon as I do that I'mstepping away from my direct impacts interms of I'm putting a computer betweenme and and being able to love and holdand touch and care and look in the eyesof the people I'm wanting to impact andso this year that's what I'm doing thankyou for that answer so I want to playdevil's advocate just a little bit onthe the last night you said there so Ifully understand the whole direct beepthere directly impact them hold themlove them and touch these people thatyou weren't have been on a one-to-onebasis and I suppose when I first startedpersonal training I literally startedpersonal training because one I had losta lot of weight and done a qualificationwith a bit of spare change I had but Ithought it would pay for my way throughuni and then obviously doing that Ireally enjoyed it I loved transforminglives and seeing people lose weight gainconfidence which again I felt fantasticas being mothered journey and I got to apoint myself as I and I rememberI should take this online and almost dolike an online coaching for personaltraining where I will check in withclients online again losing that thatone-to-one communication thing but atthe same time getting back some of mytime so my yeah and perhaps potentiallymaking more money and I initially kindof was with yourself I was like I don'twant to do that it's got it's kind ofalmost dilute my power and my gift thatI have when I work with people but thenat the same time I had somebody questionme and again this is a question I wannaask you is do you not then feel becausein this very brief moment with yourselfthe reason I ask this is because I don'twant it to be that penny is based inthis part of the world or this part ofUK and we don't have access to pennyright now because I feel that if you areable to connect with more people yes themessage might be slightly diluted but Ithink your message is so powerful thatyou could affect so many more people sois it something that maybe your identitylater or I used sorry I'm gonna give youa really long answer to this Aren okayso at the moment I don't believe inmyself enough okay it's getting thereand this is the story I'm gonna tell youand it's absolutely true and it's themost up to date story I can tell youabout my life okay yeah please do I havealways wondered why people would spendmoney on an aspen all our mulberry orGucci handbag right so you're gonnathink where the hell she kept okay Inever needed itI never wanted even when Thomas and Ihad money you know and life was a biteasier didn't turn me on Thomas cameback from Dubai once on a speech hasbrought me back in a beautiful good shebox a handbag and it sat in the box forthree years I never used it didn't writeand but my daughter Hannah who we talkedabout a little bit and and hopefully youmight interview so absolutely would bean honor so when she was 20 and I wedidn't spoil our children they had towork from the age of from a young ageand at 16 they got jobs in supermarketsor Starbucks or whatever and age 20 shegot an internship at Barclays and I mether after work one day and we went offto Marburyjust off Oxford Street and she spent 900pounds in a bag I didn't judge her Ididn't judge at all is her money she'dworked hard for it and that was somesymbolism she wanted that bag and shehad this private relationship Reeves mybig my older sister who's 10 years oldand me because my elder sister he's 10years old of me loves designer handbagsand I used to watch quite jealously thisbut I think I want to join that Club I'mnot in certainly sign a handbag but Iwas quite jealous of these this banterthat I would hear and then looking ateach other's bags because ever sincethen Hannah's brought more bags anywaywhen I started this mastermind group wewere meeting at some Pancras stationit's beautiful meeting place and arestaurant there and that's where mymaster minds are going to be in aprivate room there and I had 12 separatemeetings because I have a four-hour oneto one with all the masterminds beforethey join and I would walk past anAspinall shop right eight and I walkpast it looked in sort of smug that allHannah would love that and walked upthese steps into this restaurant anywayone day I about the bath Inc was aboutthe ninth meeting I went into theAspinall shop took a photo of thislovely handbag and said to Hannahyou'd love this handbag Hannah and shesaid yeah is lovely the next time I wentback my 10th time I went in and I got itoff the shelf and I put it on myshoulder oh yes quite not put it back11th time went back went in looked at itand asked him how much it was and talkedto him about it last week was my 12thtime and I said to Hannah the nightbefore I was going back to London for my12th meeting Hannah I fallen in lovewith an astronaut bag yeah and she wentby it by it mom buy it buy it buy itreally and she said I am mom you reallydeserve it buy it so I said don't be nosomebody who works for Aspen orsomething I could get a 30% discountoh yeah I can look into overnight if youwant mum so we'll do that that'd belovely done it anyway next morning Iwoke up to get the train to London myjob meeting and I sent her a text andsaid Hannah I'm gonna buy it I don'twant it discounted I went in and Ibought it and we came home and wechampagne while I opened it at home andThomas said to me just said out of theblue how come you've decided to buyyourself back and I said Thomas I'mworth it and it was so poignant thateverybody cried because Hannah has saidto me mum why don't you believe inyourself you've gotten an OBE look whatyou've done look at the lives you'vechanged look everything you've done andI said I just didn't believe it insideme until I've got I do now so this isthe most up to date story I can tell youour an a my journey and it's been reallyinteresting I share it because I'mreally open with everyone if somebodywants to judge me for the the pain I'vebeen through and the losses I've beenthrough and judge me is a bad businessperson because I'm not achievable youknow I could have achieved I don't Ireally don't care about that I'm just meand um and I will share that that storywith the world because it's we've got tofind our own self worth deep deep deepdown now so in answer to your storywhich was bad to me to go online andexpect somebody to want to pay for anelectronic version of me I haven't gotto that point yet believing in myselfenoughthat's incredible thank you for sharingthat I'm grateful for you sharing thatbecause as you were saying that therewere so many parts of it maybe some ofthe listeners could probably resonatewith it where I'm on thisentrepreneurial journey where I'm kindof bootstrappingas and when I can and stuff like the bagif we use trainers for example where myyounger brother who's nine years youngerthan me we're going spend to endureparents on a pair of trainers where I'mlike I can't do that I can't possiblythink I'm doing that I mean you grew upin slightly different generations wherefinances were different and growing upbut I don't know something tempting justclick there and I thought maybe there isa is an element within myself where myself-worth needs to kind of at least bereflected on and maybe people listeningto this can reflect on that because itwas a beautiful moment I could almostpicture you coming homepopping up and that bottle of champagneand then having this moment where you'relike do you know what I am worth it soit's a beautiful story that you've justshared there and in relation to thediluting the messagething which is the question that I askedyou and you feel that you're notnecessarily worth it now can I just askis that kind of like an impostorsyndrome that's going through your heador do you I think it's partly that I'vewatched so many I don't want swear youcan sway tosses is the places I say sella dream online and manipulate and andcorrupt I don't want to be part of thatworld and I've seen people close to meyou know hire an expensive house rent afat Ferrari and stand outside and sayyou can be as rich as me if you do myprogram and and they are multimillionaires but I have seen so manylost souls back up their lives leavingthat story and so I've got to I've gotto get to a point where for me to jointhat world I've really got to feel safethat I am never going to do that toanyone penny I loved that about youthat's like for me it's kind of likeabout the Family Fortunes TV episodegoing through my head reach that topanswer and it's like kind of bleedingbecause for me it's one of the thingsthat I hold very close to my heart so II got taught off by my wife actuallylast night so this is a very currentstory and I was writing a post and Ikind of just write post from my heart orwhatever I think I don't spellcheck it Idon't think about it I just literallywrite it there and then and as I waswriting it I sinner peeping over it shewas kind of looking at it like why youkind of she's seen it as me being kindof argumentative or not I'm just tryingto think of the wrong bird a bit againstthe grain kind of thing because mymessage yesterday was very similar toyourself so I'm in the property spaceand in the property space there are allthese millionaires selling this poorthingdream and I absolutely hate it because Iwas fortunate that I had 12,000 poundsleft in my account which I spent on theeducation I still believe I would havebeen where I am now without thateducation because in hindsight it wasn'tas good as I've published sin so sincethen I have probablymove people away from the education andI've offered my free service I've givenmy course material that I've paidthousands for because I'm like listenyou can learn all this yourself youdon't need this shiny book or thiscourse that's gonna change your lifebecause I've done it I joined thiscourse thinking twelve months time I'mgonna be a multi-millionaire blah blahblah all of that so you've obviouslyseen these kind of and I put crooks Idon't call them houses but appearancesis probably a better word and it reallyreally it gets it gets to me because atthe same time I also feel I have valuein some of my skills that's where I cango out and coach an extensive amount ofpeople but then I almost getting thisimpostor syndrome myself thinking Idon't want to ever be seen like thesepeople out there exactly doing it thewrong way so I fully get there andobviously we're at different stages inlife you're a lot more advanced andexperienced than myself and I get thatand at the same time I'm like I'm seeingpeople with less experience than myselfwho have fabricated their results takinggood selfies on one Facebook and thenall of a sudden the selling weekendcourses for two thousand pounds and Iread a book recently on it and it wasabout neuro linguistic programming NRPcalled the dark psychology and there wasa brilliant quote in that and what itsaid was you can either manipulatepeople or persuade people basically andthe people there's a lot of people whosay I want to help you I want to do thisfor you and you need to be able toassess are they trying to manipulate youI looking at their own self gainirrespective of whether it's going toactually get you what they're promisedin you or are they're just trying topersuade you to abandon life and I'm I'mgrateful that I've managed to have thisinterview with you and lets you connectwith you because you're one of the goodpeople and it's nice to see somebodydoing it the right way and I do feelthat sometimes we may not get there asquick as other people and we may have toprobably face more obstacles but I justbelieve it's just so much easier to goto sleep at night doing things the rightway well it does it goes back to whatyou said at the beginning about yourcore values and and and whether you cansleep itself you know these CEOs thatSam you this someone was telling me theycoach it said the CEOs are in fear oflosing their jobs or their businessbecause all around them they have nola they've just lost everything we'velost their wives they live norelationship with their children intheir strife for success of whateverthey decided success would be when theywere young they have and now they sit infear in these big jobs because if theylost their job or they lost theirbusiness they have nothing else left andI think we have to think about what isit we want to surround ourselves withTomas and I have lost everything and westill had our marriage and our childrenand it's it's all that matters that's tome that's the possible and I thinkpeople need to go deep into their valuesbut they chase this ambition or thisdream or this comparison or whatever itis that's confusing them yeah absolutelyI think that's a fantastic message thankyou for sharing that penny I reallyappreciate itso now that you're you're definitely anentrepreneur I think I don't thinkanyone's gonna disagree that you're anentrepreneur whether it is by accidentor whatever I mean I feel I'm a bigbeliever that everything happens for areason and if we choose to we can findour own way and I'm grateful that youfound your own way but what I want toask is so for somebody who's beenthrough been through it all should I sayin terms of the journeys of ups anddowns what's your daily routine likebecause I'm a firm believer thatmotivation doesn't last forever and I amstrongly I'm strongly for sorry and thatwe should discipline ourselves incertain aspects hence your nutrition orthe thoughts you tell yourselfaffirmations being grateful all thatsort of stuff in order to get throughthe darker days and not everyone speaksabout the darker days but what's yourdaily routine like Monday to Sunday umso I am always been an early Waker evenas you know child when I was teenagerdid my revision early I always wake sodoes my husband around 5:00 o'clock andwe love that and we go down and get twocups of tea each one of us goes and getsfour cups of teaand we do have that television in thebedroom which we absolutely love so thismorning we watched we loved all thedramas we watched the final of motherfather son for example and we lie in bedtogether and we holehas and we have a cup of tea and wewatch that and then we do that from ournow this is I'm not rushing to Londonfor trade and then I share and then Ifor the last six years I have made avery lovely drinks which containsspinach kale berries chia seeds flaxseeds hue carrot and and then I startwork because I love work so either startwork in the office or I will go toLondon I do try to go to London after10:00 because hey the trains are so muchcheaper oh I go on the train I mean it'syou know how much that makes adifference to your monthly outgoings ifyou if you do have a discipline of doingthat and I just feel better if I do thatthen I get a good start in the morningand then my ideal day is to coach oneclient today about three times a week soin the afternoonsI'll meet at this lovely place and coachthem if it's better in the mornings Iwill do the morning because it's reallydown to where they when they get theirbest energy of course Alice and threetimes a week I'm really grimacing here Itry to go to the gym okay Red Mill anddo some weights but I'm not achievingthat very well moment and I do have ayoga routine that I try to do everymorning before I get dressed that's itfantastic do you do any sort of them Imean I know you've touched on yoga theredo you do any meditation or anygratitude journaling or writing yourgoals down is that so I do I am I have aattitude of blessings and gratitude allthrough the day and I do start my daywith that I definitely don't even haveto consciously do it I just comes intomy mind that I have not that I feel itnow it's I think it's incrediblypowerful that mindfulness meditationthat would completely elude me I justdon't have you do that but mindfulnessI'm trying to learn that my son who'sstudying psychology at University whoand there's quite a high performing butvery him puts a lot of pressure onhimself a lot of pressure on himselfhe's learnt mindfulness and he'sactually done a certificate in it nowand he has it's it's incredible how itstransformed him he said he can't livewithout it and so it is that's andiscipline I'm trying to bring into mylife like I've got itfantastic and just actually if we mayjust going back to something we touchedon earlier we touched on mental fitnessand I know we spoke about this before Iclick the record button yeah do you wantto just briefly elaborate on that aswell because I think that's going to bevery important for the lissa so I when Ihad this sort of breaking moment Iultimately took a while but in the endthe psychologist diagnosed me with PTSDwhich I always thought needed to be ahuge trauma you know something itdirectly happened to you but PTSD isbasically anything that everyday comesback into your mind and it is and itfills your cup before you because atwork Venus that started today and I had12 things that from the age of 3 throughto about 3 years ago that were still onpains that I hadn't accepted andreconciled and I wasn't a victim of thembut they were still front of mind and Ihad to go through a process called EMDRto work through them which was a hardexhausting painful process of acceptanceand letting it go and then when you doit goes into your you might back in yourmind the other thing that I gotdiagnosed with is a form of depressioncalled cursive strong which is a badbook by dr. tim cavanaugh onhe owned a Mazon he worked for thePriory and he found that people thatwere coming to him who were very dynamicvery hardworking high levels ofdiscipline were he'd ended up diagnosinghit them with this and what I gotdiagnosed with and it's basically a formof depression that means you will notself care and look after yourself rightif you just get up every day and youjust keep pushing until until you justyou just just exhausted and so when Iwas going through my psyche my grouptherapy and times with my psychologistwhich talked about in my bookthere was healing triggers and emotionalmental repair that I talked about in mybook that I feel is relevant to everyentrepreneur every human yeah I believearound your belief systems your valuesto thoughts your feelings yourpersonality type etc and what I thenthought was actually if I had no in thistwenty years ago before I became anentrepreneur or even younger I wouldhave focused on my mental fitness notmoment I'd not got to a point where Ihad mental health issues so now I'm anadvocate of mental fitness because Ithink that there are things that wecould learn about ourselves so to meresilience isn't about how hard thepunches are that you are willing to takeand bounce back from resilience is likea boxer you learn what to dodge you'vedone the things that your personalityand your who you are and what matters toyou that you do not want to beconfronted by and you dodge and thatwould enter Fitness to me fantasticactually the first time I've heard itexplained like that I think I think themessage is clear though and I'm quitefascinated now you've got me intriguedinto your own personal book so I know Idon't read books in terms of thehardcovers but I am an advocate ofaudible and listening to books is yourbook available as an audible version oris it strictly a hardcopyno it is I went into studio recorded itso it's on audio it's on Kindle and it'son poppy yeah okay fantastic so there'sno excuse for me not to buy that thenI'll definitely be checking that outthank you for that thank you okay so thenext thing I always ask my guests andagain this is something that willhopefully give the listeners maybelessons that they can take on or somesort of advice is about adversity nowyou've obviously been through a lot ofadversity some of it we probably haven'teven touched in this very short episodeso I know you mentioned briefly and youlost your house you mentioned I think itwas November you were having thesemental health challenges if you couldeither choose one of those or somethingelse in your life where you've beenthrough adversity and just tell us howyou've basically overcame that and thelessons that you've got from it just tokind of give the listeners maybe sometools that they could perhaps use yeahy'know happily so there have been Imentioned that there were I think Imentioned there were twelve things on mylist when I went to the psychologistthat bothered me that was still throwfront of mind went back to his childhoodnot that I was abused or anything butthere was something you know things thatbothered me and all the way up to adultsso I think one of the greatest learningswas that the second business that Istarted digital youth academy I got someinvestors involved I didn't do any truediligence on them but because I hadknown of them and they certainly seemedto have my best interests in the passionof the business in their hearts whenthey invested but I think I was at apoint of scarcity when I went into thatrelationship which is always dangerouswhether you're taking on a client or asupplier or a marriage whatever you oweinto it in a scarcity fear mindset thenit's going to be very difficult and soultimately I had to work my way out ofthat relationship even though I lovedthat business very much we had to exitand sell that business and the issue wasthat because I was in scarcity andclearly was lacking in personalself-worth I enabled them to havecontrol over me and one of the thingsthat strapline of my book is how to leadthe life and business that you want andI was told by actually somebody whoworked for me in that business Russellwho now runs the Starbucksapprenticeship program across Europe hewas a brilliant guy he was ops directorworking with me and he said to me petone day penny I can tell and when Ifirst met you two who you are now thingsyou're not as happy as you used to beI said well that's a real shame and hesaid I watched a documentary last nightand they said there were three parts ofhappiness and they've done a big studyglobally and three parts were 50% ofhappiness is your Constitution are you ahappy person he said penny you alwayshappy and you are a happy person10% is the achievement of the things youwant and you know in this study we knowthat we all always want something elsesoon as we got something we always wantsomething else that's why us so much andinnovate and keep going you know we'renot happywhy we're not animals and that's why weare so progressive 40% of happiness ishow much control you have a have overyour own life and decisions you make andhe said clearly you're being controlledand I was now I had to then unwind thatand I talked about this in my book howsometimes you have to positivelysurrender to a situation and I realizedthat I wasn't going to change a patternthat we had created between us as arelationship where they were assertiveand I was passive where they were theadult and effectively they were treatingme as a child and it was my own doingbecause I went into this relationshipalready in a bad place yeah and so partof the learning I had to go through isI've got to a point in my life whereanybody who was assertive with me I hadwas labeling them in my head as a bullyso I was catastrophizing anybody whoseemed to want to have control over meanybody that had an opinion that wasstrong I saw as bullying and I had tolearn as a naturally not assertiveperson anyway I had to learn to be moreassertive and realized that beingassertive is actually a very adultcommunication style it doesn't have tobe angry that's one one lesson I canpass on absolutely I think that's alesson that I've had to learn myself aswell because when I first I property Iwas very probably a similar situation toyourself as our kind of put people on apedestal yeah I think thinking that Iwasn't worthy or didn't have in muchknowledge yeah yeah in fact I probablydid in hindsight now the funny thing isI got ripped off I got builders runningaway taking advantage of me I hadpotential business partners see me asnaive and trying to make me do more workthan initially agreed to so I had allthese kind of problems and teeth andissues initially as well and I remembermy mom actually saying and you need toyou need to be stronger you need to stopbeing like a walk or a pushover and Iwas just like it's just who I am as inand I was always confident that if Ididn't become this again I assumed ithad to be a nasty dictation person and Iwas as long as I just be myselfsomewhere along the line I will get therightkind of people around me and and maybe Ihave developed some level ofassertiveness over the last few yearsbut I've certainly now got a team aroundme who I can trust and they know me frommy skills I know them for their skillsand it certainly helped but I think youhit the nail on the head there where yousaid it's a skill to learn and and in myhead it's always been if I come acrosstoo assertive are people gonna think I'ma bully or embossing axe or whatever itis so yeah that's really interesting Ithink I think people can definitelyresonate with that good yeah definitelyso penny what's your biggest fear umI suppose my biggest fear is currentlyis long-term sustainable income becausewe you know when you lose everything andI'm it's amazing some people I'mattracting now as co2 coach them is alot of people in their 50s that havehuge skills and but they haven't reallybeen able to manage their business lifethe way they needed to and and createthat sustainable income so I loveworking so I'm going to be very happyworking well into my 70s and Beyond ifpeople still have me but creating somesense of security into my old age is isprobably what what I suppose drives mebut also drives me negatively because itis also a fear okay that's interestingso a bit of a shameless plug here haveyou thought about property investing asI sort of yes I've not anywhere nearthat place to be able to even considerthat well if you ever ask them please doreach out yeah I will I appreciate thatand I will and I think we'll definitelydo that much thank you so much whatwe're gonna do now is actually we'regoing to completely mix it up now we'regoing to go into what I call the funpart of the show so at this stage of theshow all I'm gonna do is literally askyou the most random questions that I canthink of from my list in front of meyou've got no idea what I'm gonna askyou we're gonna do the buzzer for about60 to 90 seconds so there are no rightor wrong answers so literally just saythe first thought that comes into yourhead oh gosh that's very good god yes nono you'll be absolutely fine okay we'regonna start in three two onewhat did you eat for breakfast my shakethe ability to fly or be invisible liewhat is the best thing about being anentrepreneur Breeden if you couldeliminate one thing from your dailyroutine what would it beexercise what is the best gift anyonehas ever given to you my children wouldyou rather have a rewind button or apause button on life pause don't saywhere your fame o'moneyyour proudest moment my childrengraduating your favorite food choiceokay Netflix our YouTube Netflix yournumber-one goal this year to help 34people achieve their dreams yourfavorite TV show ever pride andprejudicewould you rather know how you would dieor when you were dying how if you couldsit with one person in the world for anhour who would it be my husband speakall languages or be able to speak toanimals all speak to animals and finallyif you could abolish one thing in theworld what would it bereligion okay fantastic so that's theend of the fun part of the show itwasn't that hard was itno that's very good okay brilliant sowe're almost at the end of the show nowI just got the last final few questionsI just want to ask you penny and now thenext question is about reflection soobviously hindsight's a wonderful thingwhere we can always think of ways to getourselves somewhere quicker easier orwith less heartache but I guess thejourney also teaches us a lot as well sowhat I want to know is if knowingexactly what you know now you could goback to a younger penny and maybewhisper something in their ears toinspire her for the journey that liesaheadwhat would you say it'll all be okay Ithink I've probably just give her thatcomfort really just that reassuranceit's just the reassurance yeah and thatactually suddenly brings us to the lastquestion then what for the show andagain this is something asked for all ofmy guests and it's about legacy so if in150 years time science fails to save usall and all that's left is this book andthis book is about penny and her lifeand everything she's accomplished andall of the great wonderful thingsfirstly what would the title of the booktell us and secondly what would theblurb at the back read to us cost I offthe cuff yeah well the first the title Ithought was love okay and it would justsay that that love is the most powerfulforce in the world and the more that youcan live within that energy and be thatenergy and give that energy the betteryour life will be thank you for sharingokay brilliant so that brings us toliterally the end of the show and justbefore I leave penny what I want to dois give you a chance to connect with theaudience so if you wouldn't mind couldyou please tell everyone listening howthey could reach you and maybe if youhave time and the capacity for them tomaybe engage with you that's very kindthank you so I'm on Twitter so at pennypower I'm on LinkedIn so I'll be easilyfound as penny power I'm on Facebook butunfortunately I think I've just aboutreached that five thousand limits andI'm absolutely rubbish and got to put mypage right but I don't have a page I'vegot a lovely community on Facebookcalled the business cafe global andthat's a very caring very honest andreal community of small businesses I'mon Instagram as penny F power and then Ihave a website which is penny power UKand on there there's different contactforms that's fantastic and what I willdo is I will put all of those details inthe show notes thank you that's verykindno no you're very welcome I'll also puta link to the book as well because I'mlooking forward to reading that myselfand I just want to say once again pennythank you so much for your time todayit's actually been a fascinating talkeven the stuff we spoke about before theepisode and I just wanna thank you foryour time I want to thank everyone athome as wellthanks for listening wonderful andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Today The Menace's Attic/Just Another Menace Sunday​Bombshell Radio Today's Bombshell (Bombshell Radio)1pm-2pm EST 10am-11am PDT 6pm-7pm BST bombshellradio.comRepeats Friday 5pm ESTAnd Sundays 6pm EST#classics #pop #rock #classicrock #themenacesattic #BombshellRadioThis Week – Episode #893(04/12/2019) ”I’ve Been So Organized The Last Couple Of Shows, I Thought it Was Time To Add Some Chaos To The Organization And Quite Possibly The Weirdest Segue Of The Entire Almost 900 Shows Give Or Take 7.“Opening SongThe Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore – Walker Brothers (Philips) –Set #1 A Smith And A Green Day Planned Their Nuptuils And The Result Is Having Their Cake And Eating it Too!Wedding Bell Blues – Laura Nyro (Columbia) – (Excerpt)Wedding Bell Blues – 5th Dimension (Soul City) – (Excerpt)Wedding Bell Blues – Morrissey & Billie Joe Armstrong (BMG)Too Young To Be Married – The Hollies (Epic)Hey Girl – The Delays (Rough Trade)Son Of A Gun – The La’s (Go!)Set #2 While You Can Partially Blame This On My Partner Debbie, To Quote Someone Who We Know Well, “It Takes A Village.”Take Me Home Country Roads – John Denver (RCA)Mississippi Queen – Mountain (Windfall)Go West – Village People (Casablanca)Set #3 If You Think That Last Group Of Songs Caused The Big Dynamite Calgary Ant Stampede, Then Bob’s Your Uncle!Sweet City Woman – The Stampeders (MWC)Tip Of The Iceberg – Bob’s Your Uncle (Criminal)Rush – Big Audio Dynamite (Sony)Goody Two Shoes – Adam Ant (Epic)Set #4 It’s Been At Least A Few Months Since I’ve Played This Favorite Track, So Let’s See Who’s Paying Attention. Alright Kids?The Kids Are Alright – The Who (Decca)Baby It’s Tonight – Jude Cole (Reprise)Closing SongTake Me Home Tonight – Eddie Money (Columbia)

Find your voice - Episode 17- "Wonderfulness of Life" - Louise Blyth #17 Part 1Tagline: "Be the captain of your fate and master of your soul"Louise Blyth, is an incredible lady who has experienced losing the love of her life, George Blyth tragically from cancer. With cancer now affecting 1 in 2 families it is a common occurrence so many of us face in our day to day life. But unlike any other story Louise world took a massive turn upon the sad death of her spouse and soul mate.Experiencing a supernatural event during his last few days Louise beliefs, perceptions, outlook and whole world had been turned around where she found herself finding, what she describes as "the greatest love all of us could ever know"A 2 part special episode, this incredible story does not lean on an emotional tale which will have you in tears of sadness, despite its tragic theme. Instead, tears of happiness seeing someone recover from grief and finding a bigger purpose and understanding of her being in the world takes over the story's narrative and leaves you feeling rather refreshingly happy that in such a sad circumstance someone can continue their life in a positive, fulfilling way.Now a widow of 2 children, Louise has created The Wonderfulness of Life which focuses on, Happiness being a choice and a state of mind.I am sure you will all agree this story truly warranted two episodes and if anyone can take anything positive away from this, it is to cherish all the moments we have with our loves ones and find blessings in whatever cards we are dealt in life.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Website: https://www.thewonderfulnessoflife.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-blyth-207a7a49Instagram: https://instagram.com/wonderfulness_of_lifeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/louise.Blyth83Have an awesome day#JustDeuIt #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice myname is Aren and as always I am thehost of the show so before I begin thisannouncement I just want to say amassive massive massive thank you toevery single one of you who havelistened to this show I also want to saya massive thank you to anyone who haspreviously listened to his show and lefta review because it's your reviews thatI've helped us get into the news and notworthy on iTunes now this is no smallfeat this is actually an incredibleachievement and the more I research itthey're more proud I actually feel butmore importantly I'm so proud of myguests and I'm so grateful that theywere able to share their journey but I'malso so happy to have such loyallisteners like yourselves to reallysupport this movement and that's exactlywhat it is it's a movement it's abouttrying to inspire people try and put apositive beacon of light into the worldand really try and get everyone to livetheir best life combat their excuses andreally change their perception andmindset so without rambling on too muchwe have a really really excitingtwo-part episode coming up for you nownow this is actually our first evertwo-part episode and conscious of yourtime which is obviously our biggest andmost important commodity I'm gonna jumpstraight into this one okay so I justwant to start by thanking Louise for hertime and coming onto the show today toshare her story which I'm sure you'reall gonna find absolutely inspirationalso Louise how are you doing todayI'm good thank you I'm good fantasticfantastic so I just want to say thankyou I appreciate you and I'm reallylooking forward to this one so this wasactually a recommendation from somebodyelse you may haveone heard previously on a podcast it'sepisode number fourteen and it's my betdaily Rylan it's something that I urgeall of you to check out because it wasactually within the first four hours itgot the most number of listenstraightaway so it's a great hit and I'drecommend you all going back to thathowever moving on now we have anotherfantastic guest in Lewis so Louise Ithink it's really important for thelisteners to understand your story andunderstand a little bit about yourselfas well if you if you wouldn't mind ifyou could just kind of give us aninsight into yourself a little bit aboutyour journey and what basically bringsyou here today yeah no worries so and ifI'm completely honest I never thoughtthree even four years ago that I wouldbe someone that would be sat beinginterviewed on a podcast talking aboutthe subject that I'm going to bring tothe table today which is lossbereavement and life after livingthrough sort of that kind of trauma soso my story is from nottingham fromrobin hood that's where i kind of growup grew up and spent my childhood had afantastic childhood my parents reallysort of put myself over the first I waskind of one of those people at schoolthat was not really super cool but alsoI hope not too much of a mega geek andyou know you did did the normal stuffkind of growing up going into nightclubsprobably too young being carried out ofnightclubs after having drink too muchso my friends before say probably tooyoung and went away to university at 18where I studied French and actuallylived abroad for a year when I was 19which was quite young and that was Isuppose my first experience if I'm beingbrutally honest of life if that makessense so in terms of really realizingthings around loneliness relationshipsbeing able to kind of go it alone and dothings for yourself because essentiallywhen you're on your own in a foreigncountry you have no one else to rely onother than yourself and I and so thatwas that was really really kind of bigexperience in my life and graduated inin 2006 probably like many so you reallyexpect it about what life had to offerme and had one of these huge plansaround what I thought I was gonna be andwhat car is thought I was gonna driveand what house I wanted to have hadn'tmet kind of anyone special at that pointthere's been a few a few boys but no onewho'd kind of really made me sort of situp and take notice and in 2006 I wasaccepted on to a training scheme agraduate training scheme and that waskind of a supposed to start of where mylife really really started to change soI I started there in September and on myfirst day in fact before my my first dayon the induction day I met George who Iwould fall in love with and marry so wewere part of a group of about 30 peoplehe will join together and we had a greattime it was like being at university youknow me we were there training togetherliving together all became really reallygreat friends but he was the guy thatkind of more than anyone else you knowwas not never first I on any level I youknow I remember thinking oh my gosh thisguy's so confident you know he's reallysort of sure of himself but we justbecame really great friends and we usedto would talk all the time and then itwas that that Christmas so this is theSeptember when we started our job and itwas that Christmas when we actually kindof had our first kiss so he'd he'dreally really raison he said when hefirst were in the business oh well I'mgonna be I'm gonna be in Edinburgh soI'm gonna have a hub burn a party andwe're all gonna come to Edinburgh andhave this holiday party and I rememberthinking oh my god who is this guy likethey're so confidentso anyway true to his words you knowfour months later there we all were sortof twenty or so others at his flat in inEdinburgh and that's kind of whereGeorge and I had our first kissNew Year's 2006 2007 and after that youknow my life my life changed in aninstant I know for people that arelistening that of maybe you know you'vemet someone that they know that theywon't spend the rest of their life withwhen you meet that special person youknow really it is everything that you'veever hoped for it is kind of like themovies and the songsand it's it's truly beautiful it's areally amazing experience and we knew weknew from the outset that we hadsomething special I think that often youdo you know it was more than just afriendship it was a kind of deeprespectful sort of love it was it was itwas powerful you know and so we kind ofwent on living our lives together youknow as what happens when you meet theperson that you want to spend your lifewith you know you stop being you stopbeing as our lives became more and moreintertwined so we we lived apart welived togetherwe vented together we bought a housetogether his kind of his career wentfrom kind of great amazing as he kind ofcharged through the ranks from corporateperspective we were engaged in 2010 wewere married in 2011I felt pregnant we had off this babyquite quickly which was just a hugeblessing and we it gave birth to of thisson in 2013 so for all intents andpurposes we were the couple that thathad it all we were probably the peopleand I hugely recognize this that peoplelook to in kind of discipline oh howthey got this you know like they'vethey've met young they've both got goodjobs they're doing really well hopefullythey thought we were nice people youknow we had we had a nice house we drovenice cars we had a you know we had wedecided we wanted to have a baby and itjust was easy we got pregnant and I hadno problems with my pregnancy so youknow we were on to a good thing life waslife was really really great and then wedecided to have another baby and I gotpregnant very easily again and shortlyafter office and was born we moved houseso we relocated back to Nottingham surebecause by this point we're living downsouth because that's like the street sirI paid gold and then whilst I waspregnant with our second son George justhad this overwhelming feeling which Ican come back to and talk about somemore and as we kept kind of maybe deeperinto the interview there that we had tomove that we had to move back to myhometown andum so we we bought a house when I wassix months pregnant and moved after ourson was just born to me with an 8 weekold baby at that time that's when Georgestarted to be presenting with symptomsthat just weren't you know wasn't welland we couldn't get to the bottom of ithe was wrong he constantly had a cold hewas always tiredhe was really rundown he had low reallyreally low energy levels and because ofthe stage and the circumstance of ourlife in that we had two incredibly youngchildren Zoey at this point you know wehad a three-month-old baby and atwo-year-old son and you know justNewhouseGeorge was commuting to London from ourhouse and Notting Michelle it is a bigcommute you know said not you know notfor the faint-heartedwe just continually put it down to thefact that this is what life is in yourseason and you know you try and haveyeah we're rundown you know this ishaving kids everyone whinges about thetiredness and the exhaustion which is ayou know it's part of the territory ofyou know you don't live with yourchildren but it just didn't sort of seemto get better and there was thiscontinual niggle that was there andessentially basically we pursued it andto cut a long story short of how weactually came to this conclusion wedecided to send George for a colonoscopywhich is a process where you basicallyhave a camera put up your bottom it'snot that unpleasant so he went off andhad this procedure and I mean this iswhat our life was like at this point intime our and so he decided to have thisprocedure in London because he rememberhim saying to meyou know I'm so busy at work what I cando is I can go to work and then I can dothis after work and I can come back andI can still behave at that time wegenuinely didn't think that there was abig you know big big reason to beconcerned all of the health careprofessionals had said to us there's nota reason to be worried he's so younghe's 33 it's definitely not gonna bebowel cancer and basically that day thatyou had the colonoscopy which was thethe 9th of December 2015he called me I was at home literallykind of quite literally walking aroundthe Christmas tree and my little boyanswer and with a little Senate nurse weputting all my fairy lights out thinkingwow you know life's amazing this is grayand he called me and that phone call wasthe moment that just shattered my lifebecause having your husband ringing andsay the words I've got cancer ah it wasjust it felt like a time-space continuumand I yeah it was just hideous and Iremember saying to him oh my god shecan't know this already how do you knowlike it can't be which was actually theroute that I went domine when he told uswas exactly the route that all of ourfriends went down afterwards when weactually had to then tell them the newswhich was just as difficult as himhaving to tell me and I know now thatthat's the kind of psychologicalresponse in terms of you know plausibledenial you want to commercialise withwhat you're hearing and you want somehowto be like this isn't true this thiscan't be the case this isn't us you knowdo you not know who we are today and Iremember you know being on the phonewith George and crying and him saying tome it's fine like he'd managed to havethe force I mean this is the kind ofincredible guy he was he'd had theforesight to call my parents tell myparents what happened before he ran meso he could say to me after he told meI've got cancer your mum and dad are onthe wayyour mum doubt of coming over andthey're gonna be here any minute andthey're gonna be they're gonna be herethey're gonna scoop you up and I'm on myway back from London it was just so soso kind and so thoughtful which was justwho he was to his coreso that was December 2015 and our livesin that instant you know I often jokedwith people and say I sing the song fromFresh Prince of bel-air oh it's probablyshows the kind of generation that I amit was you know this Oriole upside downbecause in that instant it was my lifewas flipped turned upside down and yeahit was just everything that we knewabout our life was thrown thrown on thefloor but then that you know that wasn'tthe end that was the beginning of a newlife and a new existence which went onfor 11 monthsso we then lived in a season of stagefour bowel cancer so when George wasdiagnosed he had metastatic bowel cancerwhich is basewe can circle of lingo for the fact thatthe cancers bad and it spreads todifferent parts of your body and inGeorge's case it spread to his liverwhich is not good news obviously it'sone of our major organs that you need tofunction so George then lived through Ithink it was eight rounds ofchemotherapy followed by six weeks ofreally intense radiotherapy followed bya season of kind of watch wait let's seewhere this where these horrible cellskind of come back then he did a hugehuge surgery in the summer which issomething called the liver resectionwhich is essentially where you getchopped open and all of your liverthere's got cancer and chopped out whichis kind of just the most epic surgeryyou can imagine before he did that hecycled around London and raised a lot ofmoney for bowel cancer UK and then hesaid I remember him saying to hisoncologist you know just before he hadthis liver surgery I'm gonna I'm gonnado more bike riding and then this sortof all looking at him like he wascompletely mental eight weeks to the dayafter he'd had his liver resection hecycled from London to Paris releasedmore funds for Bar Council UK and thenshortly after returning home from thatboat ride he started complaining againfeeling unwell and we you know wegenuinely thought that we were on thesort of positive track with this diseaseand literally eight weeks the day afterhe'd stood in front of the eiffel toweryou know holding his bike you know inthis kind of really momentous epicphotograph that I've got of him he wasdead so he he went downhill incrediblyquickly and peacefully passed away onthe 18th of November 2016 so I was 33and I had a three year old and a tenyear olds and yes it was incrediblyincredibly hard yet was incrediblybeautiful and a moment of glory that Inever expected at the moment of hispassing so I suppose that was a realgame-changing moment when he died whichwas just absolutely beautiful andthere's no other word to describe itwhich is I suppose why my story's a bitdifferent because I think probably mostpeople are going to be expecting me tosay and then it was himyes and then it was all for and I lovethis season of grief and and it has beenand it was all of those things but itwas equally really beautiful because oftheir the way in which George died andwhat happened to all of this at themoment of his death which I'm sort ofreally excited to talk some more withyou about say and just stunned that lastbit and which we will touch on just in afew moments time I can tell that youwere going to have that response justfrom the way you were explaining yourjourney and everything that you've beenthrough so but when I think of concernwhat it's done to my family it becomes amore of an emotional thing and it'squite like even when you talk about itlike demeanor and everything changeswhen you say you can see that you'veactually found the silver lining in thisin this journey that you've had to takeand I just find that incredible so I'mlooking forward to hearing just a bitmore about that have balls and knowabout how it was one not only incrediblyhard but also incredibly beautiful Imean I'm taking notes here because Idon't want to miss anything and I'm surelisteners I probably think ask her thisask her this because it's so fascinatingbecause what you've literally describedis a fairy tale story and it's kind of astory that I suppose when we grow upthere's there's a thing and I was I wasdoing a speech recently and I was sayinghow you know how we go to school andyeah you get your results and then yougo to secondary school then you have theI love is then you go to university thenyou get married and you have kids andthen you retire at 65 it's almost likesomewhere in a in our subconscious Isuppose we reprogram to believe we'rejust going to lift or 65 wheneverything's just gonna fall in placeand then what happens it comes in boomit hits you how is he so hard yeahthat's why people struggle and I justthink yeah it's a I'm grateful thatyou're sharing this story because itwould just wake people up yeah I'm veryfortunate that nothing like that hashappened to my wife or myself at thismoment but I do try and live as if thatcould happen tomorrow oh yeah it wouldthat the nightmares that couldpotentially happen so oh you mentionedthat you've been travelling for a yearas well not obviously generate so wheredid you travel so I didn't travel so Ilived I mean sorry you lived you liveyeah yeah yeah and I said friendshipUniversity and I lived in fret in FranceI actually lived I need to be honest I'dlove to go back now as a 35 year old anddo I did then I lived in the noirWeinbergwhich at the time as a 19 year old hebasically like drinking wkt blue it wascompletely lost of me as like a kind ofcultural experience but it was part itwas part of my my studies in terms ofwhat I had to do to kind of learn thelanguage but yeah that was that wasinteresting and it's been reallyfascinating actually as I've taken sometime particularly this last year becauseI've been taking some time out of workto actually I'm writing a novel actuallyso I'm writing the story of what whathappened to is in that in detail becauseI'm really mindful that to try and relayit in you know an hour even in two hoursit doesn't do it justice which is whyI'm writing the story of exactly youknow all of the twists and turns and thebeauty of what unfolded but essentiallyyou know I've really realized that thatexperience that I had in France wasreally formative and actually wasequipping me with skills that I wouldneed kind of in the moment of George'sdeath and it was also interesting inthat some of the corporate experiencesthat I'd had as well so often you knowpeople always saying it's very clicheisn't it you know when you're having adifficult time people often say stuff toyou like you know this all happens for areason or you know it's in difficultywhere you learn and you know what Ihugely believe in both of those pointsbut actually when you're in thathardship and you're in that season ofstruggle and people say that to you ifI'm being brutally honest sometimes itfeels like a slap in the face becauseyou just you just feel kind of like wellyou don't know what is to be in thesituation I'm in and how do you knowthat I've been positioned for such atime as this but I think you have to Ithink you have to come to thatconclusion yourself I don't think otherpeople can kind of impart that wisdominto you and it's taken me to livethrough the experience of my husband'scancer and his death to wake up to lifedoes that make senseand I now look at all of theseexperiences that I've had the good andthe bad and go wow like I was being liketrained I was being because I waspositioned into that set ofcircumstances the reason why thathappened was to serve me later and whenyou start to reflect that in that wayyou often see that you've done that youdid do some really great learning in meseasons of struggle and they and theyhave served to make you a more full kindof person that can then cope and be moreresilient in times that will be eventougher may be that you face in thefuture say yeah this interesting I justlove that I just love your perspectiveon things and I think because I believeeveryone gets these potential lessonsand I call it potential lessons becauseyeah it's what they take from it reallyand yes that you mentioned resilience aswell and yeah I I've hadI mean I'm day two you know and I feellike I've had some ups and downs as wellin my life which I'm sure every singleperson has yeah the grass is nevergreener on the other side yeahabsolutely yeah I mean that's one of thereasons for this podcast but I'mgrateful now especially in hindsight ofall the adversity and everything thatI've been through because now whensomething trivial happens say forinstance in my day job or you got a flattire or something that would normally Isuppose dress me out five six years agoyeah yeah it just doesn't faze mebecause in the grand scheme of things doyou know what I mean you you snotabsolutely 100% yeah I'm interested inthis novel Azure which i think is gonnabe fantastic because like you said wecan't touch on everything within thisshort amount of time but I think justfrom listening to the opening 15-20minutes people are going to be veryinterested in hearing more about thismyself included and I think you're notalone in what you've experienced but I'msure that you're very unique in terms ofhow you've change your perspective and Ithink if you can hopefully help otherpeople who have maybe been through asimilar situation to maybe look at it inthe way that you said so I want to goback to that bit where you mentioned howincredibly hard it was oh but then alsoincredibly beautiful if you yeah yeah solet's talk about the hardship and thestruggle first I think you have you seethat fully fully understand that thenunderstand the beauty if that makessense you have to source it in thedarkness to feel to feel the light whichsounds quite cheesy but I think it's youknow that's kind of essentially the theheart of this story and you know thatmoment that if we go back to the momentthat I described to you earlier when youknow George was diagnosed with cancer itwas hideousand I often say to people actually thatis when my life changed and that is whenI started to grievebecause that was the moment that ourlives changed forever at that point wewere obviously still hoping there Georgewas gonna live to tell the talebut even if he had lived to tell thetale he would have been living to tellthe tale with the with the scar ofcancer and I think this is the part ofcancer that is so widely misunderstoodpeople want to treat it like a diseasethere is a heart problem or anorthopedic problem which is you know yougo to the hospital you have somemedicine and you get better and yourlife's all okay again and actually thereality of cancer at any stage that youget it is that it alters the check thatyour mindset and the course of your lifeforever because it fundamentally makesyou realize your own mortality in a waythat you've never had to realize itbefore and it also therefore because ofthat makes you live your life verydifferently it makes you live your lifein fear it also makes you live your lifewith joy because you appreciate and havesuch a broader perspective for theamazing and wonderful variety of whatyou see in everyday life because it isyou know that is where you live and inin the everyday not in the holiday thatyou've got planning for six months timeor the night out that you're reallylooking forward to a couple of weeks andand cancer really has a way of sort ofshifting your perspective and I think Ithink this shift of perspective isuniversal but obviously I think from myown experience is not fertile for anyoneelse he's impacted by this disease butwhat's interesting is you know once youkind of take some time to let the newssettle which you have to do and you getnews that big you know I remember forGeorge and I we had the classicfight-or-flight response and we actuallychose flight so we ran away essentiallyto the yorkshire dales which was whereGeorge's mother lived and basicallyspent sort of two or three days almostin hiding trying to figure out what wewere gonna do so yeah we we ran away tothe oxidase and there we sort of liketried to look at the situationpragmatically so both of this had sortof a spaceman entrained in the corporateworld because of the circumstances inwhich wewhich was on this kind of managementtraining scheme unit we'd both beenthrough quite vigorous corporatetraining so we've done all of the youknow separate the people from theproblem how do you make a decision allof that kind of stuff and actually wekind of said you know what we've got tokind of implement some of these skillsthat we've been taught in terms offacing this this beast that is cancerand that and that's kind of what wechose to do so when we actually sort ofapproached it as if it was almost acorporate problem and and I and I feellike I'm I'm I'm even laughing as I saythis because it because essentially thisis what we had to do we had to look atit as not a black dark disease that wasgonna claim our life we had to look atit as a unwanted guest that maybe movedinto our house which is how it fell andthen it was kind of like what what we'regonna do in this and once a guesthow are we gonna how are we gonna makeyou feel part of the family and then wedon't really want them to be here butaccept the fact that they are gonnaprobably eat our table now for theforeseeable future and we can't makethem leave they're only gonna go whenthey want to you know so we we looked atyou know what we could do and one of thefirst things actually that we did wasand it was George's this is alldifferent by George not by me was hesort of said well I'm not having cancerand I remember saying to him what areyou talking about you know you've gotcancer like we can't we can't get rid ofit just like that and say no what I meanis I'm not I'm not calling it cancer I'mnot I'm not going to be named as havingcancer because there's a lot in the nameI mean there's even a you know there'sthe beautiful Shakespeare quote of youknow if Rose has anything else you knowI can't I can't remember it and thebaton but it's about you know if it wascaught if it was still called over butit was cannot call the rose but it stillsmells so sweet and that same that samethinking and that same mindset is sotrue cancer because the problem is isyou say cancer to people and peoplethink death because people are so scaredof death and actually the reality thesedays is one and two people will getcancer and also lots of people havecancer and go on to live reallybeautiful long lives also have cancerand live really successfully with cancerfor a good number of yearsbut we all have this fear you know it'sessentially the Millennial tuberculosisthat you get cancer and it's literallylike then the Grim Reaper is their dooryeah so George George said to me fromthe from the outset I don't want cancerI'm not gonna have cancer I'm gonna havea project name so we we we were sort oflike I was like okay so it was it waslike a awesome cheesy episode of TheApprentice we were driving north and hewe were there thinking of names andevery name I came up with which I can'tremember any of the names I actuallycame up with he he was beating ofdallying no that's awful that's that'shorrendous I kind of thought I can'thave this then he said out of nowhereInvictus what about Invictus andhonestly when he said that name it wasliterally like a thunderclap in the carit was amazing like it shot wavesthrough my heart and I was like that'samazing I was like why do we both knowthis name a week googled it and we'relike oh it's an aftershave and then wewould you know laughing joking whichagain is another you know like that is areal great way of building resilience soit sounds so awful and crude to say butto try and find the fun and the smilesand the everyday humor in amongst youknow this car crash that is your life isso important because you're stillyourself when you still find the samethings funny and you like eating thesame sweets and the same places eventhough you've got cancerI remember we're in fits of laughter bekind of like you know why on earth haveyou chosen an aftershave advert this isjust really cheesy but then when we wentfurther into it we found out thatactually the original naming conventionsare coming from this amazing poet and byErnest Hemingway which actually I nowhaving a frame on my wall at home andthe line the closeout line of the poemis this really sort of like thunderousclothes which basically says I'm thecaptain of my fate and I am the masterof my soul and those words we were justlike they were literally like boom toour hearts we were like yes okay this isit now we we are not having cancer sowe're having sort of project and victorsand that was the start of is Isuppose time to refrain what washappening to is but that also didn'tmean that what was happening to uswasn't horrible you know like there'slots of cancer there is hideous there isabsolute sleep deprivation becauseyou're so anxious about everything thatyou you go to bed and you can't sleepand you're wide awake you wide awakethere's there's an easier because ofthat because you're so exhausted you'reand you're trying to keep the show onthe roadyou can't remember sometimes the mostsimplest of things there's the the hugeimpact that it has on your daily life Imean essentially I was still onmaternity leave you know we had an eightmonth old baby so I was supposed to bethe one that was being looked afterbecause I was up at night you know stillwith a baby that didn't really know youknow day from night if I'm beingbrutally honest yeah and you know then Ihad to switch roles into this personthat wasn't just caring for atwo-year-old and a eight month old itwas also caring for a guy he was theretwo three who had cancer which for himwas just as difficult as it was for mebecause he was the the dad he was thefather figure of the family he wanted tobe able to provide and support his wifeat his children and the reality of thecancer treatment that he had was there Imean he had really really top-drawerchemo which was like I remember themsaying the hospital is it's pretty muchlike we're putting bleach in your veinsand he had it every 11 days so he didn'thave much downtime between treatment youknow he'd go on it he'd go on his go andhave his infusion and actually he thenhad to come home with a with a bottleattached to him which is a type ofchemotherapy that lots of bowel cancerpatients if anyone who's had bowelcancer is listening will be familiarwith and you then basically take thepump it's called a pump home with youfor three days so that was you know thatwas a man mindful in itself because wehad to explain to our kids what wasgoing on that they couldn't jump ondaddy and it wasn't ever that we keptanything secret from our children butyou know our oldest child was two yearsold you know how do you explain to a 2year old dad daddy's got cancer thathe's got this medicine on him I meanactually and that is what we explainedto him and we had to explain what thewords meant to him but you know theydon'tat that age they don't understand whatit means they it means nothing to themyou know for all intensive purposes forthem it was like daddy had a bottle ofCal Poly attached to him you know theydidn't get the severity of it and it wasreally tough and it brought up a lot ofstuff for me around you know what do Ido in terms of work so obviously I wasoff work on maternity leave I actuallywent back to work because I felt so muchpressure because I was thinking you knowI don't we'd have no idea how long thiscancer journeys gonna go on for and eventhough both of our employers were justthe most supportive employers B couldhave ever asked foryou always have that niggle in the backof your head that actually if this goeson for six years seven years are theystill going to be this supportive andlist understand a and I remember sayingto George you know I've got to go backto work George because we might be in aposition where we're only rely you knowwe're relying upon my salary and youknow you can't work which he neverreally wanted to face into so I wentback to work and even when I talk aboutit now I genuinely don't know how I didit I went back to work with aone-year-old just three year old and ahusband with cancer and was kind ofdoing my job as well as commuting toLondon and you know running a house youknow it was absolutely exhausting andexhausting in a way that makes your souleight you know it wasn't just it wasn'tjust sort of tired of the way thatpeople say I'm tired you know it wasexhausting and it was the relentlesssort of tsunami of it all because theway that cancer works is you kind of itis it's a long boil disease you know itisn't a disease there you know it goesit doesn't go away like an orthopaedicyou know injury like I said previouslyand it and it's it's always theresimmering in the background and everynow and again you get these huge wavesthat crash over you and they sometimesabsolutely come out of nowhere and it'sabout then how you how you protectyourself and what you what you do - Isuppose build that resilience and that'swhat we learn in that 11 monthsessentially initially it was like wewere all at sea we have no idea what thehell we were doing and gradually as theyearwent on we built that resilience muscleand we learned the techniques aroundwhat is it that's gonna help us and weknew that there were certain things thatfor us as a family he with the thingsthat work but that took some time tofigure out it wasn't like the next dayafter George I can't sir we went yeahthis is this is what we have to do thistrick is it yeahno no so it was so hard it was so sohard so hard yeahfirstly what a wonderful person hesounds like and I just in yourrelationship the way you were justfeeding a feature then you had thiswhole story behind Invictus Sol Invictusfor me initially yeah Paco Rabanne it'sthe which is what I remembered but alsothere's a film money as well yes andit's happened to feed on conquerable soWowyeah you actually said it in this momentthat's what I was feeling and I wasgetting almost goose thinking yeahthat's it how you guys have done it andit just shows the power of like thehuman will and the importance that wordsbecause just by changing that nameyou're not you're not necessarily sayingto listeners here listen let's brushcancer under the copy and pretend it'snot here what you're saying is okay weacknowledge it's here and some dayswe're facing it but we're gonna justface it in a more positive way to helpus move forward and I think that'sreally really yeah the way you've donethat and in terms of exhausting I meanwe all sit here myself included andwe'll have a 14 hour day or a 12 hourday we've been asked to do some overtimeand we feel you know what I'm tired I'mtired and here you are with no actualchoice with your back against the walljust showing how powerful the human mindand body in sync how much we're actuallycapable of doing and that also goes sexywhen you mentioned George who did thatrunning I mean who in their right mindif you think about it from a logicalperspective things after being choppedup I'm go go go raise money wait youknow you know what there are what Iwould say is I follow some reallyinspirational people on Instagram andparticularly love the the three womenand who created the you me Big C podcastand Rachel blance or sadly passed awayin September last year and I follow Ifollow the girls actually that do thatshow on Instagram and they ones a cancersurvivor one one is living with stagefour cancerthey are always out exercising andactually what I would say is it heyfor you to realize that your body isfragile and that you have to look afterit to want to look after it sometimesand actually the irony is is that Georgeactually was a fitness fanatic evenbefore he had cancer so he was on thesepeople that would go to gym gym and Iwould always be like what are you doingbut I had to say since he has had cancerand obviously lost his life to cancerit's made me go as well you know yourbody is so precious you have to lookafter it you have to be mindful of whatyou're putting in it in the way in whichyou're using it in the way in whichyou're nurturing it because it's it'sprecious to you and it's your onlyrocket ship you're not going to getanother one so you have to look after itand I think incredibly there is thismindset amongst the cancer community ofI am gonna do the stuff that like youknow that we run a 5k or run a marathonbecause almost as well you know everyoneknows the healing benefits of fitnessit's it's proven right so there is thismindset of just you know well I am whatI want to do this mentally even morethan I've ever wanted to do it so I doyou think it's crazy but I also thinkyou know not taking anything away fromGeorge because it was incredible what hedid but I also think you'll find thatthere are lots of people who areimpacted by cancer that also have thatabsolute mindset of no I'm gonna go forit I'm gonna raise this money I'm gonnago and do this and I think you're rightand I think but this is kind of what Iwant this podcast to do is not letsomebody have to suffer with cancer seesomebody also for with cancer to reallyunderstand what they're actually capableof because we're so much we're livingjust in the comfort zone all the timeand health and fitness is one of mybiggest passions so yeah I've alwaysbeen into it but then when I went touniversity was it was more about vodkacommands and hangovers sure yeah it wasthat kind of stuff for generallyspeaking up when I was about 25 I thinkthat's when cancer came into into myfamily only affected my own cause yeahand one of the things I started doingthen was really taking my health andfitness seriously so I blogged onpersonal training since then I'vetrained over like three 400 clients andI always know my analogy is I know thecircumstances for instance similar toGeorgia where you can be healthy you canbe doingright and then it's just not meant to beI can just come for what I always tryand do is just put the odds in my favorand I always tell all my clients justput the odds in your favor you know whenyou lift some weights or you do any sortof CV exercise cardiovascular you'reyou're you're reducing the chances of ofillness and that's kind of what I do soevery single morning without fail andunless some literally on my deathbedsorry or I'm traveling I'm training andI don't have to enjoy it but for me youknow it's 4% on my day just afteryourself and you touched on somethingthere by what you put into yourself andI think it's important for the listenersjust to know it's not just physicalconsumption like food and water it'salso what you say in your monitor yeahabsolutelyso the project Invictus that kind ofstuff is it's empowering and if you canjust so I just think there's this Icould talk about what you said now foranother five hours because I'm surepeople are going to pick up on thank youthank you for sharing all of that what Ineed to move it forward just slightlyotherwise we'll have a six hour podcastbut what definitely can get you back onso nice obviously change quite quitesignificantly now yeah yeah and it'ssomething that you obviously you'renever prepared for what is a day likefor yourself now and what I want to askmore in particular is obviously life'staught you so much so quicklyalready are there certain habits ortraits that you maybe do on a dailybasis that you think people listeningcould potentially benefit from yes so Imean the part of the story that haven'tgot into and maybe isn't one for thedates move maybe at halftime is the whatactually happened when George died whichin which I suppose was the absolutebeautiful firework finale to this wholeyear so if you imagine this 11 monthswhen George had cancer was like us itwas a slowly learning how to overcomeadversity and build resilience in a waythat I'd never had see before and thenwhen we realized that you know the endwas nigh when he was told there wasnothing that they could do and he wasgoing to die but weyou know how long it was going to be andwhat that what may or may not look likeand how painful it may be and all thoseother things that was the moment whereif I'm really honest and being reallyreally vulnerableI hit absolutely rock bottom because Ikind of when I don't know what to do nowyou know like all of this other stuffthat we've taught ourselves this far interms of you know finding three thingsevery day to be thankful for doingexercise you know renaming things tomake them feel more palatable you knoweating well to make sure we're we knowwe're making our bodies feel as great aswe can sleeping where we can in amongstnear the chaos of TV and children all ofthose things that other sort of thingsif you pick up any book on on resilienceand how to and how to kind of you knowbuild and and and work that muscle theyjust didn't work and I I remember justthinking oh my gosh like what what do Ido and it was it was awful and it meantthat we were both in a reallyemotionally low state which as I'm sureagain lots of people will identify withwhen you're in that place what happensis you lash out or the people that youlove the mostso we're in this hideous set ofcircumstances which was you know we knewthat George was gonna die and we hadwhat was probably the biggest row Ithink we ever had of our whole marriageour whole relationship because I wasreally angry at him and actually youknow what I was actually angry about himwhat I thought I was angry about him wasnot what I was angry about at him at allI was actually angry at him because hewas dying and that's what I now realizewith hindsight you know I was at I wasangry about him about something thathe'd said to us mom or not said to hismom but that wasn't you know and I'vegone back and rabbit reaction man thatwasn't the reason the reason I'm socrossed with him was because I was angrythat he was leaving me that he was gonnadie that he was not going to be here tobring up my kids that I was gonna haveto do life on my own in a way that I'venever ever expected to and that night Iwent out I literally ran out of thehouse into my car it sounds Hollywooddramatic and it actually was a littlebit that way and I got in my car and Idrove it was dogevening it was raining and I didn't knowwhat to do and I just felt lost reallyreally lost and in that moment Iremember thinking in my head where am Igonna go who do what who should go andsee if it goes to my mom and dad I couldgo see like my aunty best friends who'sthe person that I need that who do Ineed and I was I was sort of trying allthese people in my head to see if theyfitted with it the way I thought in myheart and none of them felt that theyworked and actually at that point intime was seeing a psychologist and Ithought do I bring her like do I go seeher I couldn't even bring myself to gosee my psychologist he was the personthat really you know I employed to sortof be the person I could take all thesethings to so I decided it in that momentthat I needed to go to a church and thenI was kind of like right really go to achurch and if I'm honest again I thinkit was rooted in some level of utopianmemory that I've got from childhoodprobably movies like home alone whereKevin goes to church and yeah has thatlike magical moment when he's missinghis mummy you know I was right I'm gonnago to church and tried that and to go toa church on this like rainy Octoberevening at about I think it must havebeen about five o'clock everywhere I waslocked her and I was so angry oran Ican't tell you how angry I amI was literally raging so I remember Ipulled my car over on a hard shoulderand I and I said at least she got out mycar and I screamed and at this point intime I was not a person of faith sothere is a purpose behind me telling youthe story and so I pulled over my carand I literally got out of my car it wasraining I was screaming and I literallyit was like I was boxer in a ring that Iwas a mad okay and I literally screamedat the universe if you are real if youare real you have to bleep bleep bleepbleep show me there was a lot of swearwords yeah I was crying I was crying somuch you know I couldn't even reallyspeak I was coughingit was awful I got back in my car andGeorge text me two words that just saidcome home and then I just wrote backokay he wrote back I'm not planning ordying anytimeSene and i just hysterically burst intotears and went home now that that momentwas a absolute another kind oflife-altering moment but it wasn'tlife-altering in that exact moment ifthat makes sense because then whatunfolded in this or three weeksfollowing on from me going out andhaving this moment where I went for itand said to God you know you are realit's now or never because I don't knowwhere else to turn it and God had neverbeen someone a force and an energy thatI had ever looked to previously but Iwas I felt like I had nothing left in mycup I had no place else to gohe was the only viable option left forme to go to and what then happened andwhat unfolded around George's deathwhich we maybe don't have the time todiscuss today was just supernaturallyunbelievably beautiful he died the mostglorified beautiful miraculous deaththat was completely driven by sort ofthe Holy Spirit just moving in andtaking residence in his room okay peopleI'm just gonna play the out role now forthis part of the show but the nextepisode should be available straightaway on your feed whether you using iOSor Android and I hope you enjoy thisjust as much as you've enjoyed thisfirst part of this incredible story fromLouise I know the next part certainlygave me goosebumps especially when shespoke about the supernatural stuff thatshe experienced and I hope you enjoy ittoo and once again thank you for allyour support and if you do get a chanceto leave this interview at the end ofthe show I'd certainly appreciate itthank you so much and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a five star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Vocational Show notes What is a vocation? You're life's purpose, which doesn't always mean that it's your job. One person's life purpose might be to make people laugh, another's purpose might be to be a parent, and still others might be to coach Doug's story What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a kid? When did you come to understand what you're calling was? How do you experience fulfillment? Kim's story Kim was given the following quote by her mentor in college: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Those questions took her all over the country and through a number of different jobs. Tips for finding your calling. Say yes to the things that intrigue you and try not to do something out of fear. If skydiving is your thing but yet you have a fear of heights. You'll need to conquer your fear first or you'll risk losing the chance of ever skydiving. You have to challenge your fears. Keep an open mind and don't be rigorous with plans. Make plans to break them. Ditch the dreams and expectations of others for you. Be greedy for your journey. Find like-minded people that are on the journey too. Talk to others, seek out advice, and ask those around you for direction. You don't have to act on their advice but listen and evaluate. You never know, someone close to you may see something in you that you never saw within yourself. Start the conversation sooner rather than later – the journey might be long. Ask yourself would you do this for free. Don't put a time-frame on your journey. Doug's book: One Percent Better is available on Amazon. Upcoming event at Spurling Fitness is open to the public: A book discussion on Brene Brown's "I Thought it Was Just Me" on Thursday April 18th at 7:15 pm. Spurling Fitness is located at One Alewive Road in Kennebunk, Maine. Email Kim at kim@spurlingfitness.com for ore details or to RSVP

Thanks for listening to Catching Your Breath: The Podcast, with Steve Austin. In Episode 9, we’re talking about the transformative power of empathy and compassion. Show notes: Brene Brown video on empathy - https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw Get your copy of Brene Brown’s book, “I Thought it was Just Me (but it isn’t)”, plus my brand-new list of recommended reading by going to reading.cybpod.com today! 7 ways to be more empathetic and understanding Sign up and support Catching Your Breath at support.cybpod.com This week’s free giveaway is a worksheet on how to banish that fear of rejection. Just go to episode9.cybpod.com today to download yours! Sign up for February’s course on The Power of 1. Each day for 30 days, you’ll get a new lesson on the transformative power of empathy and compassion. The course begins Monday, February 4th, and you can sign up today by clicking here https://iamsteveaustin.com/vip-courses/ To sweeten the deal, if you use the discount code CYB50 this week only, you’ll save 50% off the monthly or annual plan. Sign up here https://iamsteveaustin.com/vip-courses/  

Find your voice - Episode 4 - F*ck it by Joshua AsquithJoshua Asquith, is a genuinely loveable guy. He was a talented athlete destined to do great things, which he did. A World title in New York for kickboxing, semi professional football, acting in Macbeth to modelling he had the world at his feet.Until the death of his two close friends suddenly rocked his world. He then got hit with Quinsy illness along with more health complications. But with a mindset of a true champion, my UK Rock (a nickname I give him) has found a way to control what he can control.His mindset. He adopts a F*ck it mentality but the most beautiful thing about his story is, he sees himself as “ The luckiest man in the world”.I urge you to follow his story and watch this space as he comes out of his comfort zone to prove that physical or mental challenges should never stop you from being average or giving up.Thanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josh_asquith/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into the show today so this episode offind your voice has really changed myperspective and I suppose this is one ofthe reasons I wanted to do this showbecause I believe everyone has a storyand there's some powerful stories outthere that just not being told now I'mvery grateful for my guests coming onthe show because although I know himthrough the property world I had no ideaabout the other things that were goingon in his life now at such a young agehe has done more things then more thingsthan I've done and he's done things thatI suppose I wish I could have done butmore importantly than that I'm moresignificant to this story and I hope youcan extract this from the end of thepodcast is how he's persevered throughso much adversity and when I say so muchadversity I mean there's a point in thepodcast where I've kind of had to stophim listing the amount of stuff thathe's going through for the simple factthat why it was hard to comprehend but -I felt like the message was alreadythere and I'm here to get him back at alater stage so we can obviously explorethat a little bit more but I rememberedand somewhere in the podcast you'regonna hear this I refer to him as the UKrock now I'm not talking about thatstick of candy that you get up that polepleasure Beach I'm talking about rockersin the Dwayne Johnson because he givesme inspiration or watch him on Instagramand it gets me to the gym in the morningit makes me kind of eradicate my excusesbut this gentleman that I spoke to doesthe same because he's battling far worsethen Dwayne the rock Johnson atsuch as young age as well and his storyis still being written I've managed tobring him out of his comfort zone toshare his story so hopefully you guyscan appreciate that and I do appreciateyou time because it's difficultsometimes sharing some of the storiesand there are some points in thispodcast which I don't even think he'sfamily knew about as well so I'm gonnastop rambling and let's check out thisepisodeokay so firstly I just want to begin bywelcoming Joshua to the show so how'reyou doing today my friend very goodthank you you yeah not too bad thank younot too bad so I just want to say thankyou for taking time out of your dayfirstly and I've briefly introduced youin the introduction myself but I thinkit's important for the listeners to geta feel for who you really are and tohear from yourself so if you wouldn'tmind if you could just explain how youbasically progress through life andended up where you are now okayso well first of all thank you forhaving me no you're welcome anythinglike this before so this should be fun Ithink it's probably easiest to startwhere I am now it's not a particularlylong journey but it's quite a packed oneI'm 24 I'm Josh I'm a physiotherapistand I'm currently just hopefully gonnabe a property investor soon all thingsbeing well God willing you will be sostart another child I am I was reallyreally lucky I had a really nice mothershe gave me everything she works allhours of the day so much so that for thefirst few years of my life I really sawthat much of her cuz she was always justkind of working hard and slaving away togive me and my sisters a good life I hadan amazing step dad and I had aintermittent real biological fatherthroughout reels a bad word my Stefan ismy real dad book and biological fatherand I saw every couple of weekends andcame down to Birmingham because that'swhere his family are so I got to have alittle bit of my black heritage a mixedrace by the way because you can't reallysee it no I Rachel whatever you want tocall it and played a lot of sportsbeing a kid through school and I am alsodid a an African recreation of Macbethwith some really famous actors which wasreally interesting experience althoughit kind of fit with some of the thingsthat I went to go and do in my teens soin my teens I am through school wasfairly normal with the exception of Iwas fighting as a kickboxer for GreatBritainso from kind of why I went whentraveling around New Zealand with myfamily in year eight of school so I wasprobably 13 got back start playing somefootball got given some trials for alocal football academy near me and theywere preseason trials so I went throughGoogle to see if I could find somewherethat keep me fit over this summer foundthis place advertised as fitnesskickboxingI fell in love with it very quickly andfrom then on I kind of never went to thetrials never pursued it that muchfurther and started fighting I had myfirst fight fortunately or unfortunatelyfor me it was with the current worldchampion from my age group and my weightand did really well- just somehow scrape a victory off himhe's now one of my really good friendsactually and then from then on I kind ofthought well maybe I'm not too bad atthis so stuck it out eventually carriedon fighting every week around thecountry and then ended up fighting forGreat Britain which was really nice gotto travel around the world then got myfirst proper world title in New Yorkwhich was kind of cool went out therethen I came home went back to school fora few dayswhen then we're back to training andthen got called up to go and fight Ithink that my next one was I picked upin Florida mm-hmm then I did I went tofight for a European title in Romebrought my toe in the finals it's kindof like knockout stages to get therebrought my toe in the final came reallyclose second then yeah so I kind of justcarried on traveling got to see somewhat got to see some really really coolplaces like Sicily Serbiaand then I managed to keep up my gradesthrough school so kept my mom happy keptmy stepdad happy and then I got to about17 and it all started to change quiterapidly from there can I just stop youjust for a quick second just before wego into that so obviously you've had avery very dull boring life and not notreally done much but they're just somany questions that it's almost likewatching a listen to a movie so I justwanna ask you a couple of questions justquickly then would jump straight backinto where you weigh the cost so youplayed Macbeth it was that sort of likewas it a school role or was it sort ofan external audition or oh yeah sorry soit was kind of there was an arm to theyoung Shakespeare come okay they werekind of doing some diverse work theywere travelling around the country andthere's some adult actors in it as welland I just I don't know how I came abouthaving this audition but ended upauditioning for this role and then I wasin a park in Salford called Horton parkwith my mum just having a picnic and shegot a phone call saying that I'd beenaccepted to play the role of youngMacduff Wow all right Mac Duff sorry soit was Macbeth that was the math wasthat play my role was young Magda rightokay shows how much I know aboutShakespeare okay have you done any sortof acting since then or that was thelast of my kind of theater acting I wentI wanted to go back into it and then gotsidetracked by football but then when Iturned about 17 mm-hmm I actually know16 when I left school I went back intoacting kind of by accident okay andanother one I've got here is kickboxingso I grew up as a massive massive VanDamme fan fan I'm not sure if you if youknow him I do I'm fantasticI would have loved to have donekickboxing and so kick box for GreatBritain that's fantastic but then youwent on to football as well yesWow okay out of the two if you have tochoose one and if you could have pursuedit for the rest of your career which onewould you have gone withvery very very good question I wouldn'tkick boxing I would say okay yeah I'mpassionate I love football I'm reallyreally passionate about football whatkickboxing gave me a and kind ofextended family around the world hmmand in terms of the places you've beenyou mentioned Sicily with what was whatwould you say was the greatest placethat you've seen oh the most interestingplace I've seen was Serbia I think ohwow why'd you say that because where westayed we got as with the Great Britainteam we got pop in a five-star hotel andthis five-star hotel was kind of like ait was built within a mall or the mallwas it built within the hotel I don'treally know which one but it was hugebut as he looked across the road you sawall the old war torn houses it still hadbullet holes in them and things likethat and it was a reality shock it wasone of those places where you have toget police escort around with you fromBritain and oh wow that must've beensome experience yeah it was sorry yeah Ijust had all these questions thinking ohmy god this guy's done a lot we're noteven at 17 yet so yeah sorry if you wantto continue from 17 you said it went alittle bit downhill yeah so it didn't gostraight downhill it kind of seems apeak fairly early I was playing footballand we're playing an elite called theNorthwest Youth Alliance which isessentially the the Youth League of thesemi-pro football teams around theNorthwest and it was kind of like thehighest non professionalsemi-professional level you could be atbelow 18 if you weren't in one of thosePro slash semi-pro first team selectionsso I was playing there and having areally really good time really enjoyingmyself and I'd also signed to a modelingagencyat that point for a little bit of extramoney and there is between shoots wherehour between castingswell I'd actually been cast there wasthe occasional day of extra work and oneday I got a phone call saying do youwant to do a day of extra work and Ithought kind of thought well it beatsgoing to college so yeah did a day ofextra work up to do my college workthere anyway just quickly jump in onthat if anyone out there listeningthis says they've got no time to doanything extra I just not gonna believehim because I don't know how you'll fitin all this in sorry carry on me ofcourse and so I kind of did a few moredays of extra work and then it kind ofjust evolved into doing a few one-lineroles in different TV programs and thenI joined then after that I thought maybeI should learn what I'm doing soenjoying like a drama group that'sreally well-known in the northwest andjoined a drive during an acting agencyand was being put forward for somereally good roles and at that time I wasalso just about to hit sponsorship fromone of the kind of biggest martial artsfight companies that were around at thetime so it's doing really well asplaying well at football my grades aregoing well at college and then all of asudden I got back to got back to collegeand I was just having a few days offfrom everything that was doing just totry and recover recuperate and I wasdriving from my mom's to my Nan'swhich was not very far away less than amile away and I remember getting a phonecall down a one-way street and Ianswered the phone on speakerphone andchucked it on the front sea and it wasjust somebody in floods of tears and Ithought why are you calling me in footto tears and it was a phone call to saythat one of my oldest ever friends hadgot meningitis and died in the nighthe'd got it the day before and he hedied in the night and I am so I kind ofjust stopped the car and couldn't moveit mmm I had to put the phone down tocall my mom and ask her would she comewalk for the car and drive it around tomy Nan's mm-hmmand I think that kind of I think thatwas probably the start of maybe it was astress or something in my in my lifethat started maybe it was something thestraw that broke the camel's back fromwhen I was carrying too much from do ifI'm acting fighting playing footballdoing my college work oh I also had ajob at McDonald's which is just in yourspare a few hours yeah so it's kind oflike and now I was where I should haveprobably beenleave I was I was working at McDonald'sfor a little bit of extra money and I'myes I'll then I kind of a few weeksafter that I was grading for my blackbelt and missed it quite a few timesthough I'd have to go and do my blackbelt and then a fight had come up andI'd take that instead because thought Iwas probably more important as part waythrough my black garden I got this kindof it was just a sore throat and myblack back was actually down nearTelford somewhere and I live in inBolton which is I don't know two hoursaway or something like thatand I was and I got this sore throat andwelcome the next day no tonsillitis andI thought nothing of it going to collegeand have some salt water couple ofparacetamol see how it gets on all thetime I was kind of like trying to dealwith my my grief so I thought wellactually maybe just kind of felt badbecause I was in a bad headspaceand it was coming up to exam time andall the rest of it and I am so it neverreally went away so I went to the doctorwho's got some antibiotics it clearedaway for a couple of days came back andthat process kind of repeated about Ithink it was 14 15 times I got someslices in a rowbetween going to the doctors gettingpainkillers and I'm one of thoseoccasions I am my at my mum's house thefloors are on different levels it's areally old house and my mum's on thevery top floor my bedroom is on themiddle floor and I kind of there was apoint where I hadn't eaten anything forabout ten days I've lost 11 kilos inbody weight and I was just lay in my bedjust sweating and in agony and Icouldn't I went to take a tiny codeinetablet to kill some of the pain and Ithink it closed what little was left ofmy throat so I couldn't so I kind ofcrawled upstairs mom or dad's room andthat's kind of last thing I rememberso I got the hospital and they were theysaid that you were very lucky becauseyou were if you'd come any later thenthat kind of would have been the end ofyou on that's what it said to my mom Iwasn't particularly awake for of courseyeah and this was what when your17:18 yeah 17 on the brink of 18 soeventually that cleared up happenedagain and it was because of somethingcalled Quincy's which are kind ofabscesses which sit behind these tonsilsand they're filled with just bacteriawhich when they burst they give you theycan give you some really serious sepsisbut Maya just burst so I was lucky to bein the hospital as mine burst so I wasluckier than most that get that then ithappened again about six months latercut the rest of that story short becauseit's quite a long story of me being outis there a reason why that happened oris it just literally like a bacterialinfection or was it a matter of youbeing perhaps rundown or everythingbecause you were doing about 300 thingsa day I think maybe it was being sorundown and then being stressed becausewhat I forgot to mention was in thisother time there was a close friend ofmine it was a female friend of mine thathadn't died sushi she had a headachejust never with a headache and it turnsout that she had a brain tumor so oneside kind of recovered from the coupleof rounds of Quincy's and my differentbouts of tonsillitis I am I had 18months of what they call post-viralfatigue syndrome which is essentiallyjust anybody's and there's kind of likeI didn't have the energy to do anythingfor the first six months if I wanted toget from my bed to downstairsI would have to have somebody eitherside of me because my legs weren'treally strong enough to carry me fromanywhere to anywhere and if if I so Icould manage kind of a longer landing tothe toilet because I could crawl it'dtake me a while so it'd be like I'm thefirst woman black right set off nowbecause if you need a way then you wantto get caught shortso about I had about six to twelvemonths of not being able to kind of beleft on my own for too long just becauseI couldn't do anything for myself reallyI couldn't I couldn't struggle to liftmy shoulders from the bed it felt likesomebody had nailed big nails throughthe front of my shoulders andinto sorry if I went quiet because I waslooking at my shoulders just rememberingnice line into the bed then after that Ikind of thought oh well kind of on themend here now so I started to get alittle bit fitter and I thought rightI'll go back to football training so myteam were nice enough to have me backwent back to football training minusthree training sessions of me doing kindof 25% of what the rest of the team weredoing and then I got home at one pointand my left knee just ballooned I don'tknow if anybody's ever injured their ACLbut I've seen one but it's kind of likeyou need your swells up goes purple butand I thought or mine hasn't gone purpleso maybe it's something else but Icouldn't it was so strong I couldn't fitmy trousers on the next day so I thoughtoh well I'll ice it and blah blah blahrested it never went away went to thedoctors they gave me someanti-inflammatories it never went awaythey sent me to a consultant who did asome keyhole surgery never went away andthen so they sent me to RheumatologyDepartment to see what was going onthey sent give me lots of blood testsand nothing came back positive theydrained the fluid couldn't figure outwhat it was as soon as they drained thefluid it came back every single time andduring this process it lasted about ninemonths of me going back and forth allthis time I felt really lethargic andjust not like the old me that could doall those other things I could barelyfind the energy to juice go to collegeor to just go and well I got fired frommy McDonald's job for being too ill andso oh sorry you feel strange bringing itall back I can only imagine so yeah fromfrom there kind of then as they kind offigured out what was going onit sort of deteriorated and it spreadfrom my knee to my left hip and then Icouldn't really use my left leg verywell a lot of the time which theythought caused a problem in my right hipturns out it was just the same problemand then it moved up from my hiptwo joints in my back and then it spreadup through the majority of my back itspread into my fingers spread into mytoes and it got to a point where as Igot to a kind of I got through mya-levels got really good grades somehowsomebody was looking over me gone to aphysiotherapy course as that kind of allwas happening I was just getting worseand worse and kind of more and I don'tsay disabled because it's not a greatword but I was I wasn't able to do thethings that to do anything and kind ofalways felt like I had the flu my eyeswere always on fire and it messed withthe way that my urinary function workedand all kinds of other problems and thenit got to a point where I justcompletely intermittent that completelycould not move so in my second year ofuniversity at the end of it I am I justthose days where probably three days outof the week I was bed bound anyway thisis getting probably getting bored no noit's not to be honest I mean in theintro which everyone hears and one ofthe reasons for this podcast is tobasically and to combat people's excusesbecause I believe that we always lookand we always think the grass is greeneron the other side or we've got it worsethan other people and we always give usour some rationale or reason in what wecan't particularly do something and thewhole premise behind this podcast itselfis to hear people who have gone throughsuch adversity but are still getting onwith it and just because at the end ofthe day there's a guy interviewed theother day and he mentioned you've gottwo choices in life you either gobackwards or you go forwards and mm-hmfor me it's inspiring to hear you sayall this because even myself and I'mguilty of this myself is I'm known asthe guy with the really poor immunesystem because I always catch a coldI've got a tissue in my hand as werespeaking now it's the kind of person Iam I'm always known for the guy withKleenex and people laugh I should haveshares with them but I've I've alwayssuffered but at the same time I'vealmost become a victim of my own storyas well because I mean I'm here tellingpeople they shouldn't make excuses orthe stories we tell ourselves butdictate our lives and I'm sitting herefeeling sorry for myself because I getcold easily and I've just listened toyour story and I'm just thinking I'vegot it so easy and and I'm sure I'm surepeople listening to this up it I thinkin the same because when I first saw youas wellI always recognized someone who keeps ingood shape and looks after him andyou've got very good physique you lookwhile you look like you eat welltraining well and you've got all thisgoing on in the background and up untilthis conversation now where I'veactually asked you specifically if youwould have mind opening up just fortheir listeners you've never mentionedyou never mention any of these excusesso I think it's admirable to be honestmate and it's inspiring so I wouldn'tfor one second think it's boring I thinkthank you people should hear this andpeople should take inspiration from itbecause I'd be very shocked if someonelistening to this has had that muchtrauma and not to mention at the age of17 you've also lost two of your bestfriends I mean I I've dealt with griefand I'm sure many of my listeners andeven some of the people I've interviewedhave dealt with a lot of grief and lossof family but I was what 26 27 wouldn'twhen it happened to me I don't know if Ihad the emotion of stability at 17 if Ihad gone through what you'd gone throughto manage the same way so pleasecontinuehonestly it's inspiring me okay as longas I'm not boring anybody no I'll makebasically I managed to get throughUniversity with a few other challengeswhich I'll touch on later but he got toa point it kind of everything that wasgoing through reared its head kind oflast year so up through all the stillfrom kind of age 17 to age 24 yeah 24 Ikind of I was kind of plowing on yes butnothing ever felt right like I neverfelt like I had the energy to do what Iwas doing but I was doing it anyway butI never felt like I could my attentionspan dwindled massively and and it wasjust hard to kind of couldn't have makea plan because I didn't know whether Iwas gonna need my crook shoes or whetherI was gonna be bed bound or whether Iwas gonna be okay to go and walksomewhereand it wasn't all doom and gloom withinthis because at one point I was onreally really high dose of steroidsand I felt like Superman for about sothat explains your physique then 2021and I just managed to kind of keep itfrom there I suppose I got I got luckythere but throughout all of this I waskind of despite the fact that I couldn'tsoexplains what really said last year oreven this year as opposed to a certainextent it kind of I got to a point whereI was on my crutches for two or threedays a week I was stuck in bed for twoor three days a week then the othercouple of days a week I was kind of Iwas I wouldn't say okay but I was goodcompared to the other bits so sometimesI'd have a couple of days where I wasgood sometimes I'd have one daysometimes out of four days I've neverreally know so I couldn't really makeany particular plans and I got to apoint where it was creeping up my spineso much that driving to work as a I'dalways be on my crutches at work as aphysiotherapist which came with its ownset of challenges not one not only beingthe jokes of all maybe you need a physioor can I help you where there's kind oflike eight speed bumps between there onthe route that I take to the clinicwhere I work and see most of my patientsand those peoples are only you couldeasily do thirty miles an hour over themand not particularly feel it but my backwas so sore that by the end of thosespeed bumps there was a I'd have to turnleft a junction some traffic lights andI would have to pull the car over at thetraffic lights loved to get out of thecar just to try and catch my breathbecause I was so I was so winded andI've broke I've been kicked in the ribsand broken themsemia I've had all sorts of pain book Iwas in so much painevery day going over these people I justhad to pull the car over and just gaspedfor air just to try and just so I couldfinish my journey to work Wowall the time while this was happening Iwas trying different medications whichweren't helping with the pain but one ofthem is a it's quite a commonly useddrug in rheumatology it's calledmethotrexate and it's in thechemotherapy family and it the sideeffects that fairly similar you don'ttend to lose your hair but the sideeffects such as vomiting and so I wouldtake my medication on Monday and spendTuesday and Wednesday kind of over thetoilet bowl when I could get there andand I would have to excuse myself frommy patients or I'd actually just takedays away from clinic or I'd just breakinto random sweats while I was talkingto people and just almost saturatemyself in sweat as a as a side effect ofthe medication and I am I had some otherhealth problems that going on at thesame time so kind of 18 months ago theyfound I had an x-ray just to track theprogress of the disease through myjoints and they found a tumor in my hipso for the past few years with the pastfew years for the past few months beingunder investigation for some cancer inmy hip all of the medications that hadbeen taken it kind of slowed my kidneyfunction down to below 20% so thosetalks of me needing some specialistkidney treatment or potentially gettingto the point where I'd need a kidneytransplant if things didn't pick up andyeah so that's kind of my health story Ikind of lost for words to be honest ermI think more importantly just currentlyI wish you all the best with the cancerscare hopefully is just a scare I knowcancer has affected millions of peopleacross the world is is broken through myfamily as well so mm-hmm it's somethingthat I don't know I just have a bad badtaste in my mouth when I think of cancerso hope hope to God and I'm not areligious man but I pray you know yourecovery I think you've been I think youcould do with a little bit of luck mateto be honest because you've sort ofcollected everybody's illnesses and howyou still manage to keep smiling andstill keep going and you're not sittingthere making excuses and I'm actuallyamazed because lucksaid earlier this is the first timewe've spoken really in-depth about aboutyour life and stuff I mean looking fromthe outside it's a completely differentperspective I mean nobody would thinkthat you've been through half of thisand and I'm sure you could probablyspeak for another 20 minutes on some ofthe stuff that you're experiencing andI'm not trying to move past that becauseI think it's important but I think thelesson is here already that peopleshould really just feel grateful foreverything that we have and it's thelittle things in lifewe're often chasing some sort ofdestination in terms of it's going togive us happiness when we've goteverything that we technically need ifwe just look at it in the right way tobe happy now I've got a lot ofadmiration for you mate you're young aswell so you keep going and hopefullythings will just start turning backaround for you I believe that yourthoughts matter as well so I'm not quitesure how you are in terms of your yourmindset and stuff but I do believe andI've done a bit of research I know I'mnot an expert that how we speak toourselves can dictate our physiologymm-hmm I know for myself for example ifwe use the analogy that I used to bescared of dogs and if somebody mentioneda dog for example my physiology wouldchange I would almost mmm as if the dogwas there and I think here I thinkpeople are aware of sometimes theirthoughts it might not necessarily belike a spider or a snake but sometimeswe're giving ourselves these fearfulthoughts that are affecting ourphysiology so hopefully you're workingon your mindset I'm sure you are I knowyou're doing pretty much everything elseso hopefully you're developing on thatand if you wouldn't mind if I could justbecause I'm fascinated by how you keepgoing and I'm sure listeners areprobably thinking firstly how is thisguy doing all this in 24 hours and thensecondly with all these complicationsthat you've got but if you could justexplain a day in the life of your lifenow so say for instance from the momentyou wake up to the moment you go tosleep because I just think it'simportant because if there are peoplethat out there making excuses for whatthey can't do stuff or they're justfeeling a bit under the weather andmyself included in that I'm not perfectthank you just how of course yeah so Idon't have a set routine because I'venever been able to have a set routinebecause I don't know whether I couldactually make our bed to do my day ornot but I docertain things that that do regardlessof whatever condition I wake up in andthe first thing I do is I wake up andcontrary to what everybody tells you isI checked my phone and I checked myphone in fear that somebody has sent mesomething that would be something Icouldn't get over maybe I've lost allthat I wouldn't like to see maybe I'velost a family member or something and ifthat's not the case then I go straightinto believing that I'm the luckiest manI know which puts a smile on my faceAbsalon I'll put something I put somenice music on usually it's a song calledthe fire by John Legend and the roots itinspires me that song and or somethingby Stevie Wonder or something justsomething half-baked something that I'veheard and something that keeps me in agood place and then if I can move I'llget up and I'll have a dance to thissong well nobody's watching absolutelyright luck cheers me up a bit and then Ilove that attack my day home usually ifI haven't some kind of thing planned inthe morning I will be awake two and ahalf hours before it if possible justbecause if I'm if I wake up and I'mincredibly sore and stiff then sometimesI can feel a little bit better in two totwo to three hours time something likethat so I just give myself that gap forjust in case but that's kind of my onlydaily routine I suppose okay okay and interms of exercise and stuff I mean Ithink you've done enough exercise by theway to last a lifetimebut if we are talking about exercisebecause I believe and I always try andpromote with my clients as well thatexercise is fundamental because you canliterally take some of the the mainthings from that in terms of likeresilience and building calluses andstuff into anything so do you still areyou still able to exercise maybe two orthree times a week or do you kind ofknock that on the head and look look atmore on how you're feeling and thenassess the day as you go on if Iphysically can do something then I willdo itI believe that rule that I have so if itmeans that I have to crawl to a place todo some exercisewhere my bottom half doesn't work and mytop half does then I'll do what I canwith my top half Wow and that is my onlyrule so sometimes it's just my left sidewhich I can't stand on or can't use orthen my right side is perfectly lookingI'm looking after two sides and thatside will work or if it's my right sidethat doesn't work then maybe my leftside is useful so I try my new actuallyhave a mutual friend that put my stateis about fitness goals and my fitnessgoal for this year is to do whatever ittakes to be well enough to beconsistently able to go to the gym anddo what I wanttwice a week by February 21st so you canhome it to that I've already made you'veactually got me feeling guilty nowbecause I did some cardio in the morningand I was planning on doing a legsession around 12:00 and I had a littlebit of Dom's and I was like now I'm notgonna do it and I wish I'd recorded thisearly because may inspire me to get myass to the gym because I feel bad nowbut I just loved what you said then I'vejust made a note of it I'm lucky enoughto have two sides and I think that'sincredible because that's perspectiveand I suppose maybe you've kind of beenforced into this reality I think a lotof people go through adversity and itmakes them stronger and they do verywell on the flip side you get people whogo through adversity and they just sitthere and feel sorry for themselves ahole their whole life you also haveanother set of people I believe on amacro level who don't really necessarilyhave the adversity or haven'texperienced it yet and they're kind ofwaiting for it they're kind of waitingfor that wake up wake-up calland I just wish that they could get somesort of inspiration or motivation orwhatever you want to call it fromsomebody like yourself because like likeyou mentioned previously like with withthe death of your your friend and likelife could just be taken away tomorrowor your own capabilities I mean you werein an extremely talented athlete and allof a sudden now you're kind of verygrateful just to be able to go to thegym twice and I just find it thatsometimes we think I will leave it tilltomorrow we'll leave it to next year andthat's not promised it's it's a shameyou don't actually actually I'm nottrying to give you another job here butit's a shame you don't you don't youdon't post more oftenabout your life and story because I'lltell you what you didn't fire a lot morepeople because I get inspired by peoplelike say for instance the rock and Ithink the whole world loves the Rockieskind of like the ultimate guy andsometimes you feel like you can't bebothered to do something you'll see youstay ascent boom you're off but foryourself to get there mate you are youare actually my UK rock at the minute sothat's a new name for you so keep it upbut if you do get time I think the worldwould love to hear a little bit moreabout you and hopefully this episode aswell will give give them a little bitmore of an insight into into your storybecause it's fascinating so far mereally enjoyed it and I've also got aI've just made a note I need to listento the fire by John so that's someonenext list I'm gonna move it over and I'mgonna move it over to fears at theminute you seem kind of unbreakable tome but if I was to ask you what yourbiggest fear is given that you've beenthrough so much alreadywould that be I thought thought long andhard about this question and I mean I'mgonna give you a bit of round the housesanswer and so I'm kind of scared ofeverything there's not many things inlife that doesn't scare mekind of walking down the street scaresme to an extent but by that same virtuethere's nothing really that scares mebecause everything seems to scare me anequal amount so I'm not gonna be pirateif I'm not paralyzed by a paralyzingcondition I'm not gonna be paralyzed bymy fears especially if I'm scared ofeverything in everybody so there's notreally anything that scares meother than mediocrity I suppose I don'tparticularly believe that I was put hereto be mediocre and fall into the crowdand to be and just to not make adifference to anybody else's life so Ithink not filling that purpose that Ibelieve I've held and that's kind ofscares me I love that well in thisconversation may I feel like I just feelcloser to you as a person now I don'thaven't you opened up and I've got a lotmore respect not that I never had anymore respect anyway that kind of comeout the wrong way but generallylistening to your story andunderstanding what you said I've got somuch admiration for you and I was I sithere sometimes and I I do a lot of selftalking mm-hmm what I always do is I wassafer in somewhere can I always give myself his self talk like I'm the baddeston the planet for example it's kind oflike a David Goggins thing love it whoelse is working at 5 or 5 a.m. in themorning and now all of a sudden I knowwhat I'm gonna be doing in the morningI'm gonna be thinking Joshua's work youknow he's ill he's got about six jobs todo he's gonna go to Mackey's and weapply for a job because he's bored Ibetter get going so I'm May hats off toyou honestly I salute you thank you sonormally at this stage I kind of jump inand ask people about adversity and and Idon't even know where to start with youmate because I think you've had obstacleafter obstacle after obstacle that youyou seem to be facing but but I'm gonnaask you anyway because I'm sure there'sthat there's a lesson here for thelisteners here that they can take awayso if you could just tell me about atime that you faced great adversitysomething that you haven't maybementioned at the minute and how youpersevered through it and then if youcould just explain the lessons and whathe's taught you because I think someonelike yourself who's given given thatexample it's gonna mean a lot more thansomebody just reading a book or readinga quote yeah so and I'm gonna pick aperiod of a couple of months in my lifewhere everything kind of went a littlebit wrong I'm gonna choose the Christmasof the end of my second year atuniversity and so they'd reached a pointwhere as I've mentioned before I wasn'tparticularly fit enough to go and workas a I would have worked as a waiter orsomething because that's what I've donein my bits where I was fitting like myfirst year Union College and there was apoint where I wasn't fit enough to doany of that my student loan wasn'tparticularly covering my rent at allI had a bursary to train which didn'twhich covered me to eat and a few of mybills but I was kind of like 1999 poundsinto a 2,000 pound overdraft and it wasabout the Christmas and it was aboutChristmastime so I was kind of I askedmy during that time as well I should saythat my um my stepdad had left my mom soand just because they parted ways atwhich meant that I was kind of the onethat was there to kind of I was up till4:00 in the morning with my mom or withmy sisters who were just kind of alldevastated by it and at the same time Ideadlines to me etc and and all thattime I had bills that I couldn't pay soit was kind of a point where I had askedmy mom for Christmas could I have somemoney to buy my younger and my oldersisters and some Christmas presentsthere's otherwise they wouldn't have gotanything from me and I would never havethem miss out just because I'dmismanaged my money or whatever and soall the time whilst this was going on mymy nan on my mom's side had got aserious case of rapidly deterioratingoutsiders where we couldn't care for heranymoreand so we had to try and find her a homeand my nan was kind of the one whichwhich brought me off as I said at thestart when my mom was working so hardand was working really hard and and mystepdads dad got some got Parkinson'sand so we were trying to find ways tohelp him so I'm just trying to keepeverybody afloat because I was the onethat that kind of just brushes stuff offbecause I've ruined everything else offand Kevin Hart says he shoulder shrugstuff I just kind of brush it off Idon't really have much alders but I gotto a point where it kind of all got andit just all the time it was just I wasjust kind of I couldn't make head ortail of anything because I was I had somuch to transfigure out out andeverything hurt so much physically and Icouldn't I was trying to figure outbills and I was trying to do myassignments so I didn't failing it keptbehind I'd already been kept behind incollege and I definitely didn't wantthat feeling again so there was a pointwhere I kind of when I'd gone back homethere was aa good bridge him Bolton that's quitehigh and quite secluded I took myself toit and just kind of thinking about whatwhat the consequences would be here if Iwas just to kind of take a trip and lookat the bottom of it I don't know what Ikind of don't know what what stopped meI think it was just the fact that Icouldn'teverybody was suffering so much alreadythat I wasn't gonna make them sufferanymore anymoreyeah and that was I think that wasprobably like my well at least I thoughtthat was my rock bottom and then afterChristmas there was a whole host ofbills which I'd never which didn't evenaccount for just cuz my head wasspinning so I ended up about threethousand pounds into my two thousandpound overdraft and I couldn't didn'twant to ask anybody because everybodywas already suffering with their ownproblems at home so I just kind of Ithink that was probably my moment ofadversity now of anything else that Ikind of struggled with the most and Ithink I got through it I found a JimRohn video on YouTube and watch that andthat kind of made me feel a little bitbetter and then I read a couple of bookslike The Alchemist and thought actuallymy life doesn't have to kind of be thisway so for well the most immediateproblem that I can affect is my moneyproblem so I learned a couple of newskills that learn a little bit of onlinemarketing and look we found a way tosell those and made my broke even andthen my student loan came in so I had alittle bit of money and so I could buy acouple more presents for my better halfand I didn't have to worry so much thenabout the bills for my rent and stufflike that so that was kind of nice andfrom there I kind of thought wellthere's no real situation that saysthat's as bad as that and I've been kindof smiling ever since to be honest Ithink reflecting on everything that hasbeen with my friends my family etc itkind of that's why I think I'm theluckiest man I know cuzcome through it all and I still gotmajority of my family still got themajority of my friends and still got anamazing dog lovely girlfriend and I'vemanaged to get a really really nicecareer so yeah I love that I'm just veryglad firstly that you didn't make thewrong move that day at the bridgebecause I think the world and yourfamily and your friends and even myselfnow getting to know you more you wouldhave all missed out mate and I mean thatsincerely you also touched on a verygood thing there as well I think whenyou when you've been at rock bottom andI don't wish this on anyone who hasn'tbeen there but sometimes I feel that ifyou've been rock bottom and you come outof it then everything's a blessing likeyou said you're the luckiest man thatyou know in the world and I suppose Isee this from my mom I see from my nanwho have who have had similar adversityto yourself and I used to laugh becauseI used to relate them to an episode ofEastEnders I was like you've almost gotlike a soap opera kind of life like thatthe adversity that we've always gonethrough and just hearing obviouslyyourself oneit proves that everyone in the world isgoing through something we're all facingour own battles and stuff just to kindof take the gratitude element from itand move forward from it and having comeout of it so even if you moved one stepaway so you move one step away from thatbridge now everything is it's so muchbetter that quite if that kind of makessense I think I think you've got theright perspective now and I'd certainlyurge you because I'm sure you've got avery very good Network knowing theperson you are and the piss and anythingthat you've got that if ever you do feelthat things spiral out of control pleasedo always reach out I'm sure you've gotmany people close to you as well thatyou can rely on and one thing I realizedis when I used to struggleI used to enclose a lot of stuff andthat's even from like my missus at thetime or my mom or my brother and it wasonly when I started showingvulnerability and I think for a guyVaughn durability is strength and we wesaw often me we have this provider thatwe can't cry or we made her cry I cryall the time you know I'm not I'm notafraid to say that becauseby me expressing my emotions andspeaking about it it just helps me somuch in terms of face and face inwhatever I'm going through and basicallydealing with it so I'm proud of you mateand I can't believe a young you are toshow such intelligence you mentionedalso something else I just took a noteof which was about the managing moneyand how you didn't when your sisters tobe without you took a kind of abilityfor mismanaging your money and up untilprobably the age of 25 myself I I had nosense of responsibility so again likeyour emotional intelligence is fantasticso um was it awkward for you man I gotmy fingers crossed for you we're on theway up the buzzer has gone off and whatI'm gonna be doing now is putting youthrough the paces so we're gonna see howquickly you can think and how quick youcan answer as many questions as possiblelet's do it there is no right or wrongif you can't think just say pass andwe're gonna start the timer for 60seconds in three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisiblefly money or fame money Netflix orYouTube YouTube Van Damme or Bruce LeeVan Damme Coke or Pepsi pass would yourather know how you would die or whenyou were die pass summer or winter thewinter your favourite place in the wholewide world grasmere in the latest ratespeak all languages will be able tospeak to animals animals if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it beit's self doubt love that your favoritesong ever the fire read minds or predictthe future and put it in feature cats ordogs dog have you ever been in a fightthen you know this hundreds and did youalways win no favorite movie star AmberHeard pancakes or waffles pancakescomedy or horror comedy singing ordancing dancing okay and that's time butI'm curious I don't know why you passbut Coke or Pepsi mate I need to knowcuz I don't really care for eitheralright okayyou don't drink any of them I do I don'tcare okay okay well I kind of carry alittle bit just a personal thing I'm aPepsi fan anyway a Pepsiexpand so okay we're just pretend thatyou like Pepsi as our yeah okay perhapsthey love it okay brilliant so we'rekind of coming towards the end of thepodcaster so we've just got a couple ofmore questions that I really want tojust try and get from you so the nextone is about reflection that's awonderful thing and when we reflect wecan often think of ways to get to wherewe are quicker or do things earlier orperhaps move us towards that goal isthat little bit quicker but I guess thejourney also teaches us a lot as wellI'm a firm believer that everythinghappens for a reason so what I want toknow is if you could go back in time toone moment where you really struggledand suffered with adversity and youcould whisper something in your ear soif you use the example that youmentioned I standing at the bridge andknowing what you know now what would youwhisper to your 17 year old right inyourself however old you were at thattime I would whisper don't be afraidbecause pain and fear are your friendsif that's the way you see them okay Ilike that because it is how we seeeverything isn't ityeah pain is fuel for me now now Istopped my toll the other day and foundit really really funny because somethingthat pain is something that motivates meto be more now it's made me stronger soI'm gonna be strong then you are me youare it's that's kind of them I don'tknow if you follow David Goggins Imentioned him earlier a little bit hmmhe's somebody who I'd certainlyrecommend looking out for he's got acouple of interviews on impact theoryokay and that guy's is incrediblebecause he kind of uses the whole painand basically pushing your body to tohis limits he's just got a new book outactually I should be getting sponsor forthis by the way but he's got a new bookout called can't hit me and I listenedto it and honestly if I'm feeling lazyfor like an ounce of a second it makesme feel like shit so it kind of likelistening to you today I feel reallymotivated I feel inspired by yourstories the stuff that you've beenthrough it's made you the person thatyou are today and you're gonna help somany other people and it's by a book Ithink you've just got a brilliantperspective on it and that brings us toour last question so the last question Ialways like to ask my guess is if in 150this time and there was a book andsomebody come across it and it was aboutyou about Joshua well I wanna know is Ishare one or two things so I'm justadding a question in here first I wantto know what the title of that bookwould be and secondly I want to knowwhat the blurb would say okay well thetitle of my book would be can I swearyou can say whatever you are me thetitle of my book would be fuckingbecause one thing I've learned is thatyou never really know what is gonnahappen so fuck it whatever happensembrace it enjoy it whether it's painfulor pleasurable or whether whether iswhether it happens to you or somebodyelse enjoy it embrace it learn from itand use it to feel you to go further soyeah I'd say fuck it cuz that's kind ofwhat I say whenever anything happens Ilove it and the blue and the blurb wouldsay he enjoyed every day that he livedhis dog was his best friendno it would say that I enjoyed every daythat he lived and he was the mostgrateful man he knew and he never he hada lot of pain and suffering but he neverreally suffered yeah I'd say that's me Ilove that endearment I love it and to behonest you're probably one of the mostgrateful people I know as well so it'sbeen a privilege before I and I justwant people to connect with youhopefully that's okay with yourself yeahcool I think your story is just startinglike I said you're very younggot all the years ahead of you you'vegot you're gonna do amazing things and Igenuinely mean that whether it's inproperty or whatever it iswho knows you might be you might be inthe theaters might be the great showman- who knows but I think before we leaveif you could just let us know just justone place that people could reach out toyou maybe connect maybe have aconversation with you because I feellikethere's so much more in your story and Ithink you'll inspire so many people maybe going through adversity and they canlearn so much from me yeah my I'mactually in the stages of writing a bookbecause there's lots that I left out ofthis interview so there's lots that Ican share with people and I would loveit if as the same courtesy you extendedto me if I could extend to everybodythat's listening that if they are everstill freed and feel like they're atrock bottom and please contact me andI'm gonna give up my Instagram becauseI'm currently in the at the beginningstage of rebranding and this is the onething that which won't be rebranded it'sjust Josh underscore Asquith that's asqu i th all but the actual links andeverything in the show ops anyway justin case anyone didn't get that spellingas for the book mate if you've got atitle let me know if you haven't closedit to the time please let me knowbecause I'll make a pledge now I'll bethe first to purchase that I think it'dbe fun lastly thank you like I saidearlier there's nothing boring ormundane about your story it's it'sinspiring and you truly inspired me Ithink people like the rock and all thosepeople yeah it helps me when I go onInstagram in the morning but seeingsomebody who I know in real life and Ispent some time with and I've got a lotof time for just in the back of my mindnow I could see myself in the morningjust be like fuck it let's go to the gymself I love it mate I just want to thankyou one more time for taking time out ofyour dayno thank you please do reach out to Joshand as always thanks for listening andremember this podcast is absolutely freeso all we ask in return is for you toshare this with a friend and drop us afive star review over on iTunes have anawesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 2 - The Wake Up Call by Jin AtwalJins life screams adversity. The loss of his uncle, father and sister within such a short space of time caused his life to spiral out of control. The word death links closely to Jin's life as does the word alcohol abuse. A stigma perhaps in the punjabi, asian community Jin refused to let this be his story. he wanted more.Determined to succeed and not let his circumstances dictate his future he woke up and took control of his life and started writing his own story. Now in the process of writing his own book, “The Wake up call” Jin is now looking to inspire others and help them cope with the grief he has suffered.Alongside this he has a mission to help children and ensure they struggle with less hardship in their lives!If you think that’s not enough his also a successful property investor with many more talents.."When you lose somebody, it's always there. It never goes away." - Jin AtwalThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoiceLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/manjinder.atwalInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jin120280/#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcript[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people yes that is correct myname is Aren and I am the host of theshow so I'm extremely excited todaybecause my guest is somebody who's notonly got an incredible story that isriddled with ups and downs and trialsand tribulations but he's also someone Iconsider a friend alongside that he'salso a loving father to two beautifulgirls he's a loving husband and he's avery successful property investor so Ithink it's more important we speak tohim rather than listening to myselfbecause some of the stuff he's gonna sayis really gonna blow your mind sowithout further ado let's get thisinterview on the way good morning Jin sohow are you doing today good thank youhow about yourselfnot too bad thank you just a little bitof a cold which hopefully doesn't affectthe podcast too much so I just want tostart firstly by saying thank you fortaking time out of your day to shareyour story I'm very confident it's goingto obviously inspire other peopleknowing who you are as a person so Ithink it's important for the listenersto basically get to know youso if you could just please explain howyou've progressed through life and endedup where you are currently okay sowithout sounding like the okie DonGoonies indeed though I'll give you abit of a summary so a bit about meso my first memories of a child isprobably my older sister he was aboutthree years older than me and she's tokind of always be up to mischief and Iwas well I was a little sidekick I'lltell you one of those stories so one ofthe times she dared me to throw a stickat a wasp's nest me crazily is to doeverything she told me to do seems likea good idea why notyeah so I did that what spirit stick Iwas nest and had a swarm of waspschasing me and the garden didn't endwell for me educate imagine but yeah Iyou know I just follow around everywhereand I was always you know really proudof her you know she's got a biginspiration to megrowing up and then caught us tosummarize the kind of years after that Icould prolly summarize the kind ofexperience a lot of grief at the dealwe've my dad he was an alcoholic seen alot of violence and experiences ofloneliness as a child so kind of goinginto the grief part the firstexperienced grief when I was around 10years old so my dad's younger brother myuncle I used to live with us for a whileand so I was very close to him and kindof be wiseass or even mourning a seconddad really and around Christmas Eve wason Christmas Eve he went out for a worksparty we have a few of his friends andthere's all over the local quite drunkand the drive was over the limit and onthe way home and started getting chasedby police officers and they tied thedriver decided to try to get away and heended up smashing the car into a brickwallmy uncle was at the back in the middleseats about a seatbelt on so probablythe worst place you could beand a head-on crash I need to basicallyjust went straight right straight to thefront and died on scene so he was allholy person in the car to dieand it was just clearly in the wrongplace in the car really sorry to truckhow old is you at this time yes I wasabout 10 years old at the time and yeahit's kind of a difficult time for me Ithink as as people or any heart we findit hard to deal with grief and I thinkthat's especially within the Indiancommunity so I think nobody ever spoketo me about it and it was kind of isthere happening in the background and Icould see the pain in my dad and myfamily and stuff like but nobody evercame andhow we felt as children and I saw and Ithink I ever dealt with it properlyuntil happy until like recently reallywhere I kind of started to think aboutit bit more so that was kind of thebeginning of you know make me experiencehim grief from what grief was like andthen from there I think my dad healready kind of had a Greek problem atthe time kind of just went off the railsso he just didn't had to handle it andwell his wife and he would just turninto drink and weave that he started tobecome quite violent and we experienceda lot of violence in the household on akind of daily weekly basis basically soour store are still quite young then andI felt it is my role to protect myfamilyso I used to try to get my sistersupstairs and out the way the venisonviolence is coming and then I'd comeback downstairs myself and then tried tostop my dad but you know which I coulddo being so young and that kind ofstarted affecting me in a you know quotenegative way it just made me feelworthless I felt like I wasn't a man Iwas like I wasn't to be able to myfamily and I was really hard on myselfso kind of that continued into myteenage years basically and as I gotolder I got bigger of still was tallreally afraid of my dad kind of embeddedinto me at that saw him you know if hejust raised his voice I would get reallynervous and scared and that make me feltfelt like even worse as a person andanother violence continued and you knowand I just felt like I couldn't doanything so for me I started aroundabout 15 years old I turned to boxingokay you need to boxing helped me inmany many ways it just taught me controlthat aggression that was inside of meand you know that anger so yeah going tohelp me in a lot of ways but alsostarted getting the reputation at schoolas the Hardeman and you know every timein school say Argentina Sortino sausageand I end up gaining points at school II thought I was always quite lonelyprimary school didn't have any manyfriends didn't have any you know just towalk around myself I didn't have a funnytime we have a single friend until about10 years old and then when I got asecondary school you know started makinga few friends but not many but then healways always for the wrong reasons Ikind of I got known as tough guy yougain two points or then I starteddrinking myself which I always I used tohate alcoholI've seen is what I call my dad problemsof course I lost my uncle for alcoholalcohol related but I think there's onetime I just I just I drinking with somefriends they started a lot more earlythan me and I just II I didn't reallyhaven't I couldn't really pick in thecrowd and they stole do their own thingand went out with one time's it come onnow every drink with Jean and I end updrinking with him I was talking mostoften and I kind of got that reputationand as you know he's a good laugh whenhe has a drink and he's he's you know hegets it he's a good good good ofpointing so if any trouble you're saltyand that's not the person I wanted to beinside well that's the person I becameand that continued really for many yearsand then from there I kind of I went towhen I finished school into Universityand I kept that persona you know Jeanwas the default crazy fun guy that youcould have a good laugh we've ended up afew drinks and he's you know they weretough not and you know inside I alwaysfelt that that's not me I'm just I'mjust no other person and that's theperson that people like they don't likeif I really thought he was myself peoplewouldn't like that I wouldn't be that Iwouldn't you know I wouldn't be that oneperson that everybody enjoys or becamesomebody else basically that's veryinteresting point I think you just madethere your dad and the violence in thehouse and I supposed you somehowindirectly almost became that kind ofperson ie the Hardman for example yeahbut I think it takes a mazing awarenesswhich you've just mentioned a couple ofseconds ago that you quickly realizethat okay although I'm getting plauditsand people are kind of now coming to meand the finding my company great forexample but this isn't the kind ofperson I want to be known as and I thinkthat takes a lot of awareness becausepeople will relate to this we sometimespigeonhole ourselves into situations orgroups just because we fit in by being aparticular person but what I always wantto try and do is tell people don't tryand fit into a crowd by being somebodyyou're notI just wanted to point that out just forthe listeners because I think it'simportant that you were able torecognize that hold on a minute thisisn't Janette well this is an episode orshould we call it a chapter of your lifebut this isn't the person that you areit's certainly not the person that Iknow today yeah I think yeah if I didrealize but I didn't I didn't I didn'ttake action to change I was very quicklyto be honest I took me a long long timeso now after finishing University I'llstop and I was not that reputation I wasstill that kind of person and then Istarted my job and you know I did I'dcome a first job working for a bigenergy company in there I was stolen ahappy you know started off doing a job Ididn't really want to do just to get myfoot in the door a degree in BusinessStudies what I did didn't really seem tohelp me and get there was the kind ofincome that I wanted so I started offstapling bills for a big energy companyyou know I haven't been to universityand don't open house you know I wasthere stifling bills you know five daysa week and I kind of annoyed me and Igot my head down and I know rightjin-hee you can't do this you need toyou need to you know work your way up inthe companies so I got my head down andI moved from that position all the wayup until senior position within thecompany in ten years looking at thebusiness strategy so my rock my rolltowards the end of my career empower waslooking at the business strategy and howwe can use smart metering it's moredated to launch new product into themarket so it's a good it's a good job ornot you know I worked my way up fromstepping bills to that it was a massiveachievement but even through then Iwasn't happy I was like you know I'mstill not me I don't know who I am Idon't know he was you know I know I'mnot the vision of what I want to bemyself I don't know who the vision Iwant to be of myself it should be what Ishould look like I always had a dream ofgetting into property on it so because Idid is I do remember Matthew told meyounger we didn't really make much moneyon it because we didn't really know whatwe were doing it we don't got all thespaceproperties we need you know we turn theminto amazing homes but didn't reallythink about in terms of the cash flowand and how much would make from theproperty so yeah he's always in the backof mind because like not having a hardto feel home as a young as a child youknow I never felt like my home was homealways had this vision that I would oneday create amazing homes for people tolive in so he's always my vision andalways something I said to my wife and Iwhen I got married and said does it onagain to property or Nicholas say allthe time she probably got better put mehere here with me saying it to be honestand then the other thing going to sayI'm one day I'm going to go to a thirdworld country and I'm gonna build a welland I'm gonna build a school forchildren I'm gonna do so I'm gonna dothatdreams and I was doing nothing thatwould ever get me there my dream wedidn't have a fighting chance everrecording reality because I wasn't doinganything to get there so just I'm justtalking about them and then I kept it soby doing that as time goes by and youstart talking about these dreams andthey're not happening you lose the dreamstart fading and you start losing faithand you you just falling into a routineof work and doing things that you don'twant to do and life's passing you by andyou know you kind of start losing a lotof life and you dreams fade you startfading as a person so I kind of alwayssaid one day when I get married underI'll start doing all this I'll get mydad wouldn't it from a company one dayand I'll start using that money to doall this stuff and you know any focus onsomething I'd say thank you folks it'llbe a comedy well is yeah I think that istrue because I focused on becomingredundant I boxed in the wrong thingsmy folks I made redundant and I got maderedundant which is an unusual thing foranyone to kind of focus on his foes yeahand he's focused on that because of alump sum of money I put that lump sum ofmoney out then I couldn't start doingwhat I wanted to do okayI don't like us but like I speaking toone of my friends when I was a I hadn'tseen him for about twenty years and andhe said are we so you brought BMW in theend I said yeah and he goes I go why whydo you say thatI used to always say I'm gonna BMW and Ikind of laughed three months ago I wishI said I was gonna buy a Lamborghiniyeah so I think being made redundantkind of was just the start of my newlife really kind of all kind of mr. partbe up more logically just as a FinnishUniversityI just finished and I got news that mydad had fallen over and bumped his headaround by the same time as my sisterjust got married she got off on ahoneymoon on a honeymoon and then andthen we got a call sign for the hospitalsaying he'd you know he died in hospitalhe formed his head and we when I've beenin hospital and when I saw him there Iwas not really angry I am and I saw himyou know probably wanted to give him ahawker today you know because he justyou know he didn't look he had a big alot of bruising on his face I know thatbut those are part of me is like whatare you doing to yourself or what youknow take control of your locals andnothing and that came out I just said tohim like you know I'm ashamed of you youknow you need to you need to sortyourself out and then I just turned upturned away and walked at the hospitaland that turned out to be the last wordsI ever said to my dad we got a call thatnoise saying that a fellow in hospitalagain and it is in a coma basically Heyand this basically just miss missed meup totally for years you know not notjust short-term he just played on mymind and I started drinking a lot moreand every time I drank a stick like cryofriends and say hey look you know thisis more last words I said to my dad thiswas said in the law you know it's notyour fault you know I just I justwouldn't go awayand it wouldn't go away I like I saidwaiting to come into my work wentthrough a company and just another doingall this dope never it always be in theback of our mind and then being maderedundant I kind of that looks like thatwas start to my new life and I got maderedundant in January 2017 so I'm nottalking long ago but at that point Ikind of wouldkind of introduced to the property worldwell you know property cause but wasn'tthe property broader so I got introducedbut when you got into property coursesyou started you got you you're basicallygoing to room full of people that's theyhaven't lost faith you know this dogdreaming and still turn out action thatdreamI mean you surround yourself with thosepeople you start believing again y'allstart believing again and that changedme totally I said I believe in my dreamsagain but it wasn't just that they staytold me to read books right and okaywhat books is it oh god we should readRich Dad Poor Dad start yourself off soI did that okay this is good I enjoyedreading that book I'm from then I justthought I'd read and self developmentbooks all the timeand I've never done anything like thatin my life and this won't help youunderstand me he was why I felt why Idid you know I thought I began torealize there's a book out there forevery single thing in your life so tohelp you and things and so I was likereading and reading a lot of books andthey've had a massive impact me it's gota strange thing every time I pick up abook and read itI somehow apply that into my life and itmakes a massive difference so and howthe first book was like Rich Dad PoorDad showed me the property but then Iread stuff like the five-second rulewe talked No yeah I said a massiveimpact on my book and what I'm alive forearly the slight edge was an excellenttaught me about you know I taught methat I've keep saying that I'm gonnahave this much I'm gonna go and build awell I'm gonna go and do something thatbecause it's not like that that thingsnot happen like that you you know startoff by doing a little bit at each timeand building yourself up there I thinkwhat you just said there is a very goodpoint I think this is where a lot ofpeople they probably get the wrongmessage because a lot of people read thesecret or they hear about the secret andthe thing just wishful thinking alone Iwish I could win the lottery for exampleI wish I get a Lamborghini for exampleand just by solely wishing that theirdreams come true but I think youobviously explaining now you've realizedthat that it takes a little bit morethan that it takes that whole mindsetthe whole self-love the self-worth andstuff which you spoke about earlier inrelation to tell you you know and Ithink more important that is action andI know youand I think we met around the same timeyou were redundant and yeah you openlyadmit those times you were taking actionI think a very honest and that but now II see you and I think people that seeyou on Facebook who are following yourjourney I seen you I think you'veadopted is it a miracle morning which ithink is probably propellant to yourstory but there's action being takenthere now now it's not just like fluffyaction like I'd certainly urge people tojust head over to your Facebook there'slike it's almost like a daily thing thatyou're doing and you're beingaccountableI know no he knew it's more for yourselfbut at the same time people are seeingthat and people are thinking hold on aminute this guy's out there now he'sactually taken action he's world startedto changemaybe I should implement it and I knowthere's a couple of other friends whoI've spoken to her actually adopting thesame thing so fair play to you for thatme yeah I think it's a to me readingbooks is been a massive thing to mechange came alive meeting people thathaven't lost in lost faith in theirdreams is one big thing and anotherthing we just read him books and readingyou know if you haven't got a problemfind a book for it I know that's that'swhat I've found like I said I said themiracle morning that's something Istarted as well which has a lot ofmassive impact on me that's basicallyjust having the morning routine spendingtime on yourself so with me he's alwaysabout doing stuff for the people nowmaking other people happy with you knowtrying to do everybody kind of controlanybody's life and making sure everybodygets on everybody's happyand I looked when I struggled to do thatI used to feel hard on myselfbut then I realized that you can'tcontrol anybody else in life you have toyou don't think you really have controlof yourself yeah and if you don't spendtime when you saw then and trying togive yourself to everybody's pretty selfyou'll never helped anybody starthelping you start become a strongerperson and then once you're in thatposition then you could have thoughthelping other people and I think that'swhat I realized from the miracle moreand I started spending time myselfreally you know I'd go out for a runcome back for my run do affirmationsmeditation you know things I found hardto forgive me ways a bit fluffy but nowI love it and I were just doingnaturally in our meditation I like Idon't sit there and sit in silence boyminutes I can do that I found it hardhaving my own timeI never done it but now it's something Ihave to do it's like a it's like amedication for me in a way if I don'ttake my medication daily I'll be startbecame depressed again and I think ifyou wouldn't mind just elaborating onthat actually because I'm a big believerthat we are a result of not only ourthoughts and what we tell ourselves butour daily habits and I've seen yourworld transform which is fantastic tosee as a friend so much since you'veadopted these habits so if if for thelisteners if you could just kind ofexplain your daily routine so I knowyou're very earlyyou acted up earlier than me one of thevery few so kudos to that but if youcould just explain from the moment youwake up just very quickly kind of likehour by hour or what you kind of do andmaybe people who have got a similarsituation to yourselves can kind of gettheir medication fix and get their dailyroutine similar to yourself okay so forme waking up at 5:00 a.m.most days I don't always do that hard onmyself as I always wind up again no I'min a late annoyed or make sure it's dogit must leave but make up a bit laterbut most most days are like 5 a.m. andseen as a wake up brush want to get downstairs I have a glass of water and thenI'll just cause it'll get at the houseas fast as I can get out do a 5k runduring that run sometimes listen to anaudio book or sometimes it just besilencing my own thoughts and I'll justthink about things and and then thinkabout life think about ideas and then bythe time I get back I'm quite fresh nowthe cold air outside quickly at themoment hits your face and it just wakesyou up and then what time I get homethen I go straight into meditation I maysay for five minutesI'm from there I'll go new look at mygoals which I've got on the wall fueland then do some affirmationsI'll talk to myself about what mypurpose in life is and and what I wantto achieve that's bigger than me andthen I'll write down three things thatI'm grateful forand then you haven't done an audio bookwell of Brian Oldham audiobook at theend and then by then I'll do othersocial media updates which I've startedto do not just do you knowpatelliday of America morning that'spart of it trying to inspire people tothe point for me it's a massiveaccountability tool so by me having topost every single day that I've justdone my miracle morning gets me up andit gets me doing itI know another gonna finish it off byposting my miracle morning tellingpeople Barry it's 20 inspire peopleif I've got a four to the day while Iwas running that came to mind or shareat that points and that starts me oftenand not that way then it's right youknow it's around about seven o'clock andmy day's going to start there and we'rebut kids wake up several kids to schoolget back home around about nine o'clockand then when I'm a real apartment thatday is in the impetus my propertyinvestment business that's when I startdoing that so you know like to beputting offers in going see propertiesgoing to see reefers been doing you knowbut by then I'm ready to gowhereas before or probably wake up atnine seven o'clock right with the kidsTeddy come to school running aroundstraightaway not no time to think gethome nine o'clock have breakfast go tothe gym at 10 o'clock 10:30 11 o'clockand start doing some work because thekids because the kids are free o'clockabout about two hours to do ready workon my property business how am I goingto do anything and make my propertybusiness work I'm just spending twohours doing more doing that you know andthat's what I realized you know by doingeverything all that stuff in the morningget you going and in it when you getgoing you're going you know you knowit's been you know a day just even likedoing stuff that you're really focusingon during the day absolutely I think Ithink it's key also as well especiallylike with social media and emails andstuff that that key part of the day thatyou've taken out for yourself which aswe talked about earlier it's reallyimportant to look after yourself inorder to be able to look after otherpeople it's it's done in a time wherenobody's really going to be emailing younobody is able to take away your energyor control it so I I do a similar thingI'm not shy away from the runs a littlebit more than yourself but I get myselflet's call it medication I do the stufffor myself first so I've kind of hitthese small wins so when the day doescome and your throne with curveballs asyou probably know as a property investoryou're kind of more resilient towards itplus if the day goes tits up shall wecall it you've still got so many thingsdon't let you've stood on your ownyou've been the affirmation you'veinspired people online you spent time inyour daughter's you've took them toschool so you've still got a fair fewwins if that makes sense so I think yeahit's fantastic yeah and it changed mylife and like I say I have to do it nowbecause I know I've spoke to you beforeabout this and and I look like myproperty journey in January 2017 and inthis mindset stuff but then you kind ofcame my whole life I became a differentperson everybody around me so I knowgenius you've changed you know it wouldseem like really confident you knowpeople and people started coming to meand saying now people that I used tolook up to you so I coming to me andsaying you know tell us about this bookyou reading tell us about this you knowhow how have you become this differentperson and I was telling him like youknow I was inspiring people and Ithought wow this is amazing and thefirst time ever I could really say thatI lost anger lost the you know the way Ifelt about the past and I let it all goCourtley and I forgave my dad andappropriate up and I forgave myself andmore importantly and I started moving onand I thought wow this is amazingand then November time my sister got itall and you know to begin me we know wedidn't think he was that bad you know Isaid he's off right we were told offReuters because people you know have butthen it kind of then it we got told he'scoming called mixed tissue disease I andthen she went in for a routine checkupor mid-novemberand he just kept just kept betweenhospital I meant being on a propertycourse that weekend and getting back upone of the day and my brother-in-lawcalling McKnight a nap he knows he'sjust not well and she's gonna keep herring and you know she's annoying I seeyou know and it just like crazyI thought what what what they just saidit was you know mix tissue disease andit goes a bit more serious and I thinkit might be you know a raven where arare case of this so we're kind of youknow I went there straight away I knowstage of a hospital for two and a halfweeks and you know that's another thingwith property and stuff that you knowallows you to do that if possibly my jobI wouldn't be now just gone and do thatthat's what I see being could made nomake me realize a limp or two thateverybody's having some kind of partybeing salutely wait but kind of goingback to this door you know but whathappened he's like it just it just itjust like my whole life has changedand you know we've been I mean Iremember this what we've seen theconsultants one of the points and hegoes that we've never seen a case ofthis in the UK it's only been a handfulof cases in the worldright you know we've got nothing torefer to and you know he says you knowit's it kind of didn't look good at allbut if you know if you heard whatthey're saying you think that's it butwe never left we never lost five youknow we have to believe in no she'sgonna make it when my sister was talkingyou know she's the best person I everknew and I feel quite decent George willget furious and you know at thebeginning she was you know obvious thefirst few days you know she's on abreathing machine and that was told itwas like she's doing American everysingle day right that's how the pressureit was on her lungs and she's justfighting it and it's unbelievable saysshe I don't have to put her in aninduced coma you can't keep doing thisand then to Cuzco more you guys laterand you know she never I won't quotefrom that and it's just like it's just acrazy time you know obstinate you knowwhat points that we fought she's gonnabe okay and at those points you knowyou'd lost the news it or favor gettinglike along this collapsed and stuff likeher and you know I was I was able to bethere from the right from the beginningyou know I stayed there every single dayI slept there a hospital talk to herread books to her you know I read a bookThe Alchemist the first time while I wasthere and they talked about no purposein life and stuff and then kind of mademe think and I said to her then does itlook you know I said as a child thatwhat I know that my purpose in life isto make sure that every child has thesame opportunity in life that everycharge of her and that's what I'm gonnado and I'm going to complete thattogether and you know of course she'sgonna make it's gonna change your lifeand we're all gonna you knowleave our life's to max because kind ofjust before she went on reading thefive-second rule and I said like I saida book always comes to me at the whitepoints and you said in there she talkedabout a story of a better dad had a headhead tumor and she didn't want to askhim directlyhow are you afraid because she didn'task him that question but you could putthat you poor white 5 4 3 2 1 just askhim I might see your sister - it was twoor three days before she went intohospitalsat there just sitting in a chair and Isaid you know for about you know whatI'm gonna say I'm gonna say 4 3 2 1are you afraid and she goes she goes nonot reallyshe goes you know I know this is gonnachange my life but I think I'm gonnadeal with me she goes you know I've beenworking too hard and and I already knowthat I'm gonna from this it's made meI've had to sit down it's made me stopand it made me think about things in alot more detail and you guys gonnachange my life now and it spent a lotmore time with my family and they're thefolks and the things that really matterin life and I thought yeah maybe this isa blessing these guys it's like awake-up call for him he's gonna changeyour life completely and you know kindof she never had that opportunity to dothat and that was the hardest thing forme that she she knew what she wanted todo now you'd change in life and shenever got to do that I think that's oneof the key things have changed me sayingthat you know you don't know what'sgonna happen in life you know how peoplealways wait wait for this wake-up callas such you know he's gone propertycauses in and let the first put theperson at the front you say to you tellabout a story of their life and used tobe about hardship and somebody barbercam came and how he changed your life anice to think oh they look in a way thatthis they've had something happen intheir life that give him a wake-up calland they've got some new power thattransformed him as a person and madeeverything happen for them but itdoesn't happen like that you know I lostmy sister I mean it didn't automaticallytransform me into this person that's hada wake-up call he knock mesix two six four six to be basedbasically I I tried to deal with it youknowby keeping busy first and I just freemyself into my property in the gettingfinished anything else and I didn't getmuch time to himself grieve to grieveand and you know to get over it and thenit wasn't until about April so I didn'teven 18 the wife said look we need toget away and putting a bit of timetogether as a family abroad okay let'sgoand so we get to Egypt and I had a fewdrinks and I kind of got back to theroom and I just got his crushed totallyand all this anger just flew out and Iwas like God and I just shouting inevery way we've done this to us whileplaying games of us you know tragic hardlife just as a point where my sister'shappy we're all happy mom's you knowI've settle down we've what we've allgot you know we were married about kidsmoms relax for the first time in her armlife in an alive why are you playinggames with us and why you doing this andalways anger came at it all all totallytowards God and you know I came back andI just crashed I uh I thought green keyI was watching the World Cup under thefirst time you know our drinking onmyself and I've never done night my lifeand I just totally burned all that stuffyou know from just before having thisbook and changing our minds in openhouse all went out the window back to aworse place and I've never been horribleI froze in the dark hole and angryfriends I was angry angry everybodycovenant just angry personhey you know I was angry friends for notalways asking me how I felt about mysisterI was angry about you know people nottotally understanding how I feel and youjust I just started going out of controland expecting some everybody's to helpme and get me out of this hole and itdoes enable you to do something for meand when they weren't able to hang withthem and then and then it came to apoint when I said look Jin you need tocontrol of your life what did you do atthe beginning this year to change you asyou person as a person you need to goback to the basics and start doing thatyou know I can't you can't lady sisterdown that's what I basically didand they're kind of it back to thebasics Nora okay first of all I need tofind a book I find a book that helps youdeal with grief and it's specific to meso I went out looked on found and Imanaged to find a book about how to dealwith the loss of a sibling as an adultis that the exact title because I'm justconscious if anyone's gone through asimilar situation to yourself yeah Imean that's cool because there's manybooks that talk about losing as a childlosing somebody but it's not many booksas losing your sibling as an adult andthen the book that is the title of thebook and I read through that helped meunderstand why I thought were a way Idid how the relationship between my andmy sister is totally different toanybody and how friends and everythingelse wouldn't understand and that's whyyou know your sibling is the only personthat knows you better than most peoplecould I seen you as a child growing upand every stage of your life and that isan amazing relationship that no not manypeople others death understand I call myfriends brothers and I say all the timeand when I say my friends and mybrothers I really mean it and you knowthat was part of my sister's wedding myclose friends that part of my you knowpart of everything I bring them aroundmy house that I'm making part of myfamily and I do everything with them butwhen they didn't feel the loss of mysister the way I felt II always angry atthem was it well she's your sister tooI get they're not how come they're notmorning with like I'm mourning and thenit wasn't until I read this that port nothey're like are having my sister wasdifferent was different yeah and thenshe's special and you know obviously I'mgonna feel that because they didn't theyweren't they didn't grow the way I didwas they did everything that me or mysister went through together and I thinkthat kind of optimize really does a starand then then I started thinking aboutmore about God and my relationship withGod a lot more and then another thing alight bulb came and he said and it waslike okay all my life I've said God didthis god help me with thatI did this God you've got about a hardlife so you owe me you owe me cuz I hada hard life you need to make this happenfor me this happen committees happenedway and and because I've done that I'vealways gave control to God an externalforce and then somebody clicked in mymind that Jin you need to take controlyourself in your own room life and thenI seen a world Smith video and WillSmith said there's a difference betweenFault and responsibilities yeah and itjust clicked in my head again and Ithought okay you know I'm blamingeverybody blame murder blaming everybodyelse their areas yeah okay it wasn't myfault that haven't happened to me it'snot my fault I lost my sister I thoughtthat a lot of what I said to my dad youknow happened but he's moreresponsibility start control takingcontrol of my life that is moreespecially those with my you know that'ssomething I need to do and that's what Istarted doing by taking control of mylife started running again so I did mymiracle morning again I started writingthe book onlineanother thing I've always fought is Ithought I'd seen social medias adifferent tool Sydney totallydifferently I thought okay these areamazingaccountability tool and if I post mystory online every single day it'll makeme do it and I'm just I'm writing mystory so I'll do my miracle morningsenior Timmy oh good morning spend halfan hour to an hour just writing one ortwo pages of my story and I continuedoing that and then you know pleasedon't always want to do I had all thesedreams I think I wanna do I'm gonnastart doing them now I know I could'vequit talking about him I'm gonna stopdoing them so before I know I've writtenmy book your forty thousand wordsyou know next year I'm gonna publish itand 2019 I'm gonna sit down again putinto chapters you know and the bookgonna be called the beikokubecause I bet that's where he's been forme you know there's been lots of wake-upcalls in my life and you know it's it'sgonna be of a twist to it because youknow people always wake white withMichael Corbitt run tell you that youdon't need the wake-up call to changeyour life and the white book or does notnet mean that you just change life mydad had lost his brother that could havebeen his wake-up call but my dad was hea victim you know journeys on lifeupside down even more so you know thatdon't worry learn that Michael Cordes Iknow I think this was one of the mainreasons I kind of want to join the showas well is because okay you've hadplenty of wake up cause I'm sure peoplewill understand you've not had theeasiest of lives but I always myself aswell I almost trying to tell people donot wait for something bad to happenI tend to find that if there's a badevent or something happens in say forinstance a family for example then allof a sudden everyone's live in a life ofgratitude for the next week and you knowthey're really grateful for the littlethings in life but then very veryquickly we kind of just get consumedback into like normal reality I supposeor like the rat race or whatever youwant to call it and we just forget youknow and then in priority start changingwhereas I'm very conscious becausesimilar to yourself I mean I can't saymy life the same as you all we'll haveour own trials and tribulations but I'vealways just tried to live with gratitudeeven in the good and bad times and Isuppose it's come from reading and stuffbut your book sounds fantastic I know Iknow you would do something I didn'tknow you had written 40,000 whereas andI'm sure it's gonna be a big hit matebecause you're not just you're not justdoing a course or reading something andI'm writing a book about it like a lotof people out there do today you'velived it and one of the things which Ithink people will resonate with this yesyou understand the whole aspect ofcontrol in your life and takingresponsibility and accountabilitybecause only you can do that but you'realso showing your vulnerabilities inthat you had it under control then youwent away I think it was in April 2018and you lost it againthen you grasped it again and it'salmost like you know the answers butthen even even yourself with all themindset and the reading and all thehabits you still fall off a little bitand I suppose it'll get easierand I suppose sooner or later you willnail it down and you have less of thesekind of falling off the wagon shall wecall it moments but it's inspiring it'sit's something I'm sure a lot of peoplego through and a lot of people have thatkind of is it the victim mentality asopposed to the victim as you you've gotin somewhere in you I can feel this youdon't wanna let your sister down and I'mconfident you're not letting her downknowing the person that you are seeingyour transformation I just want to addone more thing I remember seeing yourfirst Facebook live videos and we werefriends at the time and nice to watch itI used to think this isn't the gin oh nolike did you know I know you know whenwe sit together and we go out you're funyou're laughing you're smiling and therewas almost like an element of hurt andanger or it could just be that was fiveo'clock in the morning I'm not sure butit was weird because I was like peopleneed to see the real gin and it's onlyrecently and I'm very proud of you forthis because in the last two or threemonths especiallyyou've kind of come out your shell andyou're almostgetting a bit of a following now whichis more than well deserved becauseyou've been through it and one of thethings I knew you always wanted to do1224 months ago was to help people andjust generally inspire people and Ithink you have in those in thebackground I'd always keep him there abit like my first YouTube video as Ikeep him there because I want people toknow listen myself and Jin for examplewe were naturally shy introverted peoplewho didn't know what was going on almostlooking around the world thinking do webelong here should we be telling peoplea story and this is one of the reasons Ireally wanted you to kind of tell yourstory because it's only gonna expandyou're only gonna inspire more peoplewith it so the question was gonna askwas about adversity first he's been amassive part of your life with like yoursister and your uncle and your dad soI'm gonna just kind of bypass that justever so slightly but if you could justquickly just give it like one tip so Iknow you use the book as an examplewhich really helped you overcome thegrief aspect but if there's somebodygoing through something now or ifsomebody out there has a friend orfamily member who's going through whatwould you recommend to them because Iknow I spoke to you briefly about thiswould you want people to come and speakto you about your sister or your fatheror would you prefer it was just kind ofswept under the carpet like the elephantin the room yeah that's a good pointreally because a lot of people likepeople that even speak to me it's allabout ityou know the never said a word and forme that that that that was worse Ibecause you know it's always there nowpeople might be daunted peak to about iton a racy or I don't have heard thatperson by bringing a memory back up butyou have to remember when you losesomebody you never always always thereit never goes away saying you're notgonna bring that memory back up you'renot gonna hurt me in any way you knowit's there he's not hasn't gone away sojoin me and asking me how I feel youshowing me that you you know it's notgoing away and you you're interested inhow I'm feeling and I'm thinking okaythank you for that I think that's usefulbecause myself as well I'm guilty ofthis myself is that you kind of feelshould I bring it back up again but Ithink you've hit the nail on the headthere this is a part of you now likeyour sisters loss is always going to bea part of something like you just saidyou it's a daily thing isn't it soI'd tell you eight people who areperhaps going through the same kind ofemotions or seeing someone they'restruggling with to kind of try maybetake that advice on board I'm not sayingit was the same but it would certainlyhelp most people okay if I test it thankyou for that Jude I just want to justmove this over a little bit what is yourbiggest fear I know you're a father andI've seen your daughter's they'readorable and you might say somethingabout them I'm gonna cheat here andyou're not allowed to mention your wifeor your two daughters so what is yourbiggest fear I think I'm always beenscared of heightsokay I'll get really nervous if I'mgoing to a certain height oh I said mywife and I we get too happy about it Isaid I'm really scared of heights I'mgonna gon do a parachute drop next yearand I go if I do that and that's one ofthe biggest gay things I'm scared ofthen I won't get on be scared on mychest so let's not run persuaderbut going a bit deeper you know thatthat's one thing I think a lot of peopleare scared of heights and what's otherthings yeah but going a bit deeper pinkfor me I don't want to wake up you knowone day when I'm you know 60 70 yearsold and say I wish I didI wish I did this or wish I did that weshould do this oh that's that'd be theworst thing for meI thought our druthers I'd rather wakeup at that point I you know I did thisbut he didn't work or it did work butyou know at least Detroit yeah I'drather be in that position and you knowI want to be I want to be an integrationtomorrow you know I said don't mentionyour wife and children is much worse youknow I wanna inspire them is what muchas anybody else and I won't be much ofan inspiration if I'm sitting there 6070 years old saying I wish I did thisalways I did the poor didn't envelope Ohfantastic great points okay so thereyou've heard it that is the buzzer thisis the fun part of the show so if you'restill with us thank youwhat I've got is a whole heap ofquestions that I'm gonna run through forthe next 60 seconds and it's up to Jinto try and answer as many as possible soJen are you ready ready three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible when are your fame fameNetflix are YouTube they play coiling ortexting take it in Coke or Pepsi Pepsiwould you rather know how you would dieor when you were dying how Christmas orbirthdays their plays your coffee takesummer or winter summer your favoriteplace in the whole wide world Hong Kongspeak all languages or be able to speakto animals whole languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it bepoverty Facebook and LinkedIn Facebookwould you be able to read minds orpredict the future predict the futurehave you ever been in a fightoh we are actually coming towards theend of the show now there's so much morethat I could speak to gin about andhopefully I can get him back on thepodcast just to kind of maybe delve alittle bit more into the whole theadversity side because if you could takeanything away from this podcast is thatwhatever your current situation iswhether it's worse or whether it's thesame or slightly better than Jin'scurrent circumstances is that there islight at the end of the tunnel and Ithink gin shows that 1/3 isaccountability in moving forward in hisactions but two he's now becoming a verysuccessful property investor he's nowattracting a lot of investors so we'redefinitely gonna move it over to thefinal question so the final question Ihave today is if there was a book and Iknow actually you're gonna be creatingyour book next year but let's just saythere was a book written by somebodylet's call it your guardian angelsomebody looking over your shouldershe's seen everything you've been throughin life and they've written a book aboutyou unless say in 150 years time sciencefails to save us or and people are stillreading books what would the blurb ofthe booktell us about Jeannette well so I hopeit would take him in like this I wouldsay that Dean was a man that had mychild keeping his lifehowever never-never net life beat himdown he always got up and dusted himselfoff and kept moving forwardshe was an inspiration to us all that youonly have two choices in life really toget knocked down and stay down or get upand keep going he chose to keep going Imean lady did do that because it wasn'tonly a great husband father brother andsonhe's also a great human being he knewhow easy purpose was in life and thatwas to help young children sufferingfrom hardship have a better life and hestuck to that and he made many a manmade that crew for many childrenyou understood Roy's purpose was he'sbigger than him so he couldn't stopgoing Wow I'll tell you what if I seethat glyph I'd certainly pick it up andI just want to add to that he was also agreat friend as well so truly from theheart so there you have it guys that'san unbelievable story one riddled withups and downs which is still beingwritten and I think that's the mostexciting thing because Jin is stillwriting his story and I hope many of youfind that inspiring enlightening and I'msure Jin wouldn't mind I'll put you onthe spot here a little bit if youreached out to him if you ever want tospeak to him so what I'm gonna do is ifyou could just Nuttall just for theviewers if they want to reach out to youwhere is the one best place to find youand just personal message me on FacebookI don't like them definitely alwaysepital if I can inspire somebody andhelp them in any way I can on theirgreat way fantastic there you go guysJin well find him over on Facebook thankyou Jin for your time and as alwayspeople thanks for listening thank youand remember this podcast is absolutelyfree so all we ask in return is for youto share this with a friend and drop usa five star review over on iTunes havean awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find your voice - Episode 1 - Blind, Drunk a Lions tale by Kev DillonKev Dillon is a man of the people, who refuses to be average. Suffering with meningitis Kev suffered with blindness and his whole world was rocked upside down. His dream of being a boxer was shattered and he turned to a dark place in his life.Determined to never let this get to him however, Kev fought back, in true boxing style and jabbed and hooked his way to where he is today.He is a head boxing coach of Lions Boxing Club ABC in Brierly Hill, UK but more importantly than that he is all round genuinely lovable guy.Alongside this he is a father, a husband, a son and a friend and who would have thought a POET!Kev blindness has taught him more than many of us can imagine, forced to understand his limitations he refused to let them control him or stop him achieving his true desire, to help others.His mindset is unbreakable having been at rock bottom and the most beautiful thing about this story is, his journey is just beginning.He has a vision of a better future where people, no longer doubt themselves, hurt each other and see the beauty in the world.Kev's outro states:"Take care of yourselves and more importantly of each other. May your god bless you and if you don't believe in god, believe in yourself because someone who doesn't believe in anything, will always be lost" - Kev DillonThanks for listeningFree Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Memb...Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZSupport the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice & check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.ukLinks to me:Website: https://www.arendeu.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeuFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singhLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-...Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.comYouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6yLinks to guest:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kevlionsdillon/Boxing Club: Lions Boxing Club - Bull Street, Brierly Hill, DY3 3RA#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoiceYouTube Transcripts:[Music]welcome to an episode of find your voicea movement led by yours trulyAren do a guy who has overcomecrippling anxiety adversity anddifficulty like so many of you in lifewhose main goal now is to help youcombat your excuses take control of yourlife write your own story and mostimportantly find your voice so nowwithout further ado I welcome the hostof the show himself mr. Aren do what'sgoing on people thank you for tuning into the show today my name is Aren andyes that is correct I am the host of theshow so this is actually my firstepisode of find your voice and if I'mcompletely honest I was a little bitnervous yes I figured I could google andwork out how to do but it was more aboutreally doing when I put my voice outthere do I want to make myselfaccountable and really stick to this butdeep down inside me it's always been apassion to sort of help people now thisis a strictly passion project and it'sliterally about just helping peoplebecause one thing I've realized in mylife is that everyone has a story totell and only when we find that courageand find our voice in order to tell thatstory are we able to have an impact on awider level and I suppose since I'vebeen sharing my story recently withother people and I'm very very gratefulfor some really nice comments frompeople I thought what in a secondthere's a lot more to tell but moreimportantly there's some absolutelyamazing people out there who I reckon Ican get in touch with and then hopefullyit can help you guys as listeners soI've got a whole range of guests on thispodcast which I'm really excited toshare with you bear with me because Ihave recorded some prior to this episodeand with each podcast episode as youknow with anything in life you alwaysget a little bit better so if there areone or two episodes and you're thinkinghold on a second he sounds a little bitnervous here it's probably because I ambecause my first one or two probablyweren't as natural as are supposed theyare now so it's all a learning curve I'menjoying it I mean so absolutelyfantastic people some who already knewsome who are brand new and happened toreach out or happen to reach out to themso anywaythat's pretty much enough of me for nowI'm gonna introduce my first guest nowI'm not joking he was probably the firstperson I've thought of having on thisone of the reasons was this individualhad a big impact on my life duringprobably the two happiest years of mylife if we don't count my marriagebecause that is obviously the best partof my lifeI know a lot and I just had a great timebeing around this individual I spent alot of time with himand it wasn't just so much the wholecoaching aspect from a physicalperspective but it was more about thementor lessons that I was getting themindset lessons I think that sounds alittle bit better and you know I grew alot as a person and we just becamereally really really good friends and Ithink it's been like what seven eightyears now and you know we're always intouch he's a fantastic person he's notjust got a great heart he comes from agreat family he's family a fantastic Iknow his family but he's someone who'shad ease levels of adversity in life andhe's not been doubt the best cards and Ithink some of us sit there and we alwaysthink the grass is greener on the otherside or we have it the worst but let meassure you that's not always the caseand Kev someone who may not have had thegreatest card out to him in life but Iassure you he's certainly playing to thebest of his ability so he's not only awonderful father and a loving husbandhe's also a son and more importantlyhe's one of my very very best friends inthe whole wide world and I'm very proudto have him on this especially as myfirst and I'd love to get him back onbecause I know he was dealing with a flubut bless him he managed to still comeso without further ado let's get thisfirst episode I find your voice on theway okay so I'm sitting here opposite avery good friend of mine kept Dylan whoI've explained a little bit about in theintroduction so I think it's importantnow firstly I just want to say thank youkeVwell coming on the show it's a pleasureso I appreciate you being here but Ithink it's more important that thelisteners get to understand you so oneof the things I always like to start theshow with is tell us about yourself fromthe moment you can remember to where youare now in life I'm 35 years oldI'm married to a beautiful woman calledKateDylan my father to a beautiful girlcalled Jasmine on the head coach for theboxing club in the Black Country calledthe Lions my life hasn't always beeneasywhile tragically lost my audience in 87through viral meningitis back then 32years ago flora meningitis was a bigthing where poor buggers were going inlosing limbs and I lost my eyesight mymom had been taking me in to the doctorsfor weeks and I said if glandular feverof the flu till one day I went to a comaand I well I was completely blind and itcomes a little bit come back in my righteye and it was tough as you can imaginebut life is tough and life gives youoptions you either carry on or you don'tand I think they are the two options oflifeyou carry on or you don't but a greaterGod I had very strong parents lookingbrother and grandparents and they helpedme to do what I could and that has beenmy attitude for life you do what you canhave the best ability did you can do Iwent to a promise called Church ofascension which is in war life and hadto leave there because I had bad eyes inreception when I went to Bromley Hillswhere me and another young lad JohnFrank coming the first blind kids to gothereso I have to travel out the district togo there we're at some fond memories funmembers who I met locked on friends Ihad empowering Shona Quinton helixeducation I'd say let me Darren becauseI had to have a support teacher itwasn't fun being a young lad as well asbeing pointed out you were different andI think that's what education can do badfor people instead of embracing ourdifferences sometimes would forced standout I was a young kid that's the worstthing you can do all you want to dois to be normal oh do you get you thinkwhat is normal and we go out of our wayto not be normal to be specialbut as a child and all you want to do isfit in it's excruciatinghowever I've got through school by hookand by crook aside roams poetry becausewhen I was a young lad I found it veryhard to express what I was feeling aboutblindness and about being different ormade two books except me by giving DylanPope in a vision I went to college domedia studies and then I was lostthrough depression and different formsof coping that psycho pin selfmedication of coping I've lost and wentoff the rails my dad said to me at theage of 17 when I bet you come and coachand because boxing was one of the onlythings I was ever good at see noseblowing got iron at reactions and I'mstrong and he got me coaching I passedmy level one at 18 level two at 19 andthat's been my push through lifeteaching others to do something that Iwasn't able to do wasn't allowed to doanother camp coach and I think that'sbeen one of my purposes in life to helppeople so I can talk to these young boysand girls men and women have beenexperiences I can talk to them aboutreal pain because I've felt pain butlife isn't always a bad pain anyone whosays life isn't tough has it livedenough but anyone who says life isn'tbeautiful and rewarding also as I livedin office yes yes it is tough but bygaudí it's wonderful as beautiful ifrewarding but here we look at itourselvesand seeing these young people of watchto grow up into men it's been greatmy greatest rewards haven't been the ABAchampions and the people who've gone toboxer England is being there for theForgotten well they've been forgottenbut maybe I ever been to them it's saidof pheromone the scrap people build theminto something good hopefully they feelvery proud of because I know I'm veryproud of them absolutely there's acouple of things that I mean um I'veknown Ken for a long time and we spokerecently about how long about you knowNita days it's quite it's quitesurprising but there's some stuff therethat I mean I didn't even know and Isuppose some of it is probably like theelephant in the room so just touching onyou men in joints and stuff you knowwe're very good friends I've neverreally discussed that with yourselfmaybe that's just me not being confidentbut did you findI mean you touched on it a little bitthere but the whole you know beingnormal but what is normal I suppose insociety and all this because obviouslyI've got foster siblings and they've gotADHD autism all that sort of stuff sothey're considered special I suppose butgrowing up with your condition did youever feel sorry for yourself or did youfeel different especially committing tothe cult in aspect where I mean I'vebeen in quite a few boxing gym before Ireally found home here at the lines andgym where obviously everyone'sable-bodied should we call it ininverted commas as a coach with so Ionly threw one I had to how did thatmake it you feeling sorry for yourselfwe all do it they'd have a big footballteam or it's okay to feel sorry foryourself but you shouldn't dwell on itand that's something I had to learn Isay to a lot of people in life you havetwo optionsyou carry on forwards or you don'tand my only option was going forwardsbut occupy falling down but crawlingthere by climbing up but in any meansnecessary toforward a lot of his difficult but it'sdifficult to everybody in anybodyit's like someone said to me fearthere's a rational fear and it's anirrational fearI'm Aladdin little King swim fin onFriday hippopotamuses there's a veryrare chance that he'll optimus he'sgonna come and get meas a young African living on a riverbankthat's a rational fear an irrationalfear Allah spidersin King's room for the Money spiderisn't gonna get me a lad in Australia itmight a rational fear my fears onfighting or embarrassment yes no I'lltake her back embarrassment is a bigfear my fears aren't through fighting orstanding up or telling my story so I'veovercome knows my fears are because I'mblind in my left eye I haven't got depthperception so like going down stairs orwhen I go out at night I'm not sure whatto shadow or is the lamppost or it's astep or said that is a rational fear soI'm not sure what can hurt me however itwon't deter me from doing so fantasticI'd be just to touch on that last bit Imean you said there's two choices youeither move or you don't and I think Ialways try and say this to peoplebecause I don't want people to havesomething bad happen in their lives forthem to really wake up and so moveforward in their lives or take a wholelittle bit I suppose and start writingtheir own story you've kind of maybedrew force initially had to do thatbecause you were left with the cardsthat you were dealt and you have tosolve move forward with thatI say kudos to you because your mindsetis something that I I've read more booksthan I care to remember and I'm alwaystrying to work on mindset because Ibelieve if you can conquer your mind youcan pretty much conquer anything and wesee that in the boxing gym through thegreat boxes and everyone I'm sure youcan probably elaborate on that and Ithink mindset is crucial one of thereasons I really wanted you on mypodcast and you were always going to bemy first episode is because your mindsetis to me at leastit's you know it's made of steel is it'svery it's somebody who could sit thereand feel sorry for themselves there'ssomebody you could always look at thenegative side but man you've been abetter fresher and I've said this beforebut the two years I spent with youpersonally when we were training but Ithink I've seen you more than one missusat the time we're two of the best yearsof my life and in that particular time Ijust want to put this out there to thelisteners is when you really focus onachieving goals and I really really wantto be become a great boxer and be be agreat boxer there's a lot of talk behindand it's sometimes it's from yourfriends your family the closest peopleto you and sometimes it's not alwaysuplifting talk and I think being aroundyou in your presence not just for yourcoaching skills which are fantasticwhich helped me develop so much but as aperson as I sort of as a coach and amentor you were always able to instillthat positive influence in me you'dalways say the right words at the righttime the encouragement and I just Idon't know I'm not sure if there's ananswer to this but what how do you dothat I suppose because I'm here and I'mtrying to do that and I'm obviouslyeducating myself and I'm reading overthe books and I'm following all thegreat lines but you kind of just I meanI'm not sure deep do you read books likehow I read and woody is it somethinginstilled from maybe your dad or justbeing around for people because we areso bad I am terrible at reading terriblyreading and after I'm a very large fontsor tried audiobooks all I'm a man wholoves music from 2pac to try to China toBob Dylan I can listen to any type ofmusic all day but an audiobook I switchoff from so my greatest form ofknowledge is by self experienceexperiencing myself that way I realizedif I like it down like it if frightensme or excited to me I also love talkingto people picking their brains aboutreligion and a better experience andabout what they did and travel isanother beautiful gift don't only livein your district and travel and ithasn't gonna be to Thailand he could beto go to Wales or going towhere every day's potat yourself out ofa comfort zone so if you're only evergoing on autopilot you're only going toat one placeyou've got to be willing to get losteven if it's only in the moment couldyou never know where it's gonna take youand that's the greatest form ofEducation I think life can give you andthat's probably one of the greatestforms of Education Isaac's just heardnow in the last year because everythingyou just said then I'm sure my listenersbecause I know a lot of people who areeager to listen to this episode we'reall habit readers and we listen toaudiobooks oh it's almost become a hobbyof ours and a lot of that the bestaudiobooks they would have the sameinformation or the same Isis fault oursupposed success leaves clues so there'salways the same kind of stuff in thereeverything you just said there and thisis why I find you fascinating is becauseyou normally this but you haven't readthe books it's just something thatyou've developed and this is kind of thepremise of this podcast is to findpeople like yourselves people who arereachable people who you can after thispodcast you can reach out to Kevin youknow it gives you the time of the dayyou can come see him at the lines Jimand I spend time with you these arepeople that we should be around andstaff experience of talking to people Ithink I think it's overlooked we're in asociety now where everyone's stuck totheir mobile phone I say that as I'mholding it up right nowand you know that's that's not the wayhumanity should be it should be aboutexperiencing new things as becoming newpeople and understanding so that's afantastic point mate and I'm alwaysthere's a very few people I come acrossin life who had that sort of emotionalintelligence that you've just displayedthere without having gone through whatI'm currently doing I reading all thebooks that I can possibly do so kudosmate and I do want to just move thisover a little bit because I'm just keenbecause because of the person you areand the impact you've had on my life Idon't know you've had many otherpeople's lives I just want to touch onyour daily routine so I'm a very bigbeliever that we are the resource of thethoughts that we think and our dailyhabits so if you could just give thelisteners a little bit about the momentcapital is alongfrom the morning to the moment yourestaurant no mate my alarm is a littlething called Jasmine Dillon she'snormally White's milk okay then I we getup we could add stairs we have breakfastwe watch some people I'm tellingnormally peppa pig is not I hate bluecoherently i watch penny about myselfand then we go up we have out wash theywould come down then I'll take it toschool they're not normally come up hereto the Lions if but if I have got timeand I'm not in the class then I'll goand pick her up if not many doors wouldnot stay Opia working with peopletalking to people because I'm up hereevery night and then I'm a boxing choiceit's very rare that I get to put mylittle girl to bed off from the weekendso in the day time for me I'vedaddy-daughter time and that's thatsacred to me but when I'm up here youcome in and you become a differentperson and don't think of me it's beenthis almighty confident person becauseconfidence is of the code do you justcome and put on it's a lifetime ofworking at it it's about people only seethe finished results that don't see theprogress they don't see ArnoldSchwarzenegger Jesus Christ he's a bigfella he wasn't born that way it's everylittle dumbbell every little exerciseeverthat's from him to our league to RobertDe Niro to Katie Price don't see thefinish resolved and that's on thepositive scowl exactly that's also haveseen that that drunk will not draw me onthe street you see the finished resultinstead of thinking what happened on hisjourney or her tunic to make them heresorry I went off to that's why that'swhy I think this great lesson is whatyou just said there I'll just I'll justwhining at Danny time less doesn't meanso the next question I'm thinking you'vekind of explained a little bit and wecan obviously jump back into it but Iwant you to think back in your time justone particularly event careif you could and I just want to say forthe listeners Kemp has no idea whatwe're gonna ask him so he hasn't askedfor the questions he's explained hedoesn't lie reading so this iscompletely straight from his heart butyou've been through a lot of adversityin your life as many of - deserve I wantto think of a time where you've justfaced something they really shit day orreally shit time or something Bad'shappened and I want you to if you couldtry and explain to the listeners how youovercome it what kind of practices youtake of one lessons you've taken fromthat you've touched on it previouslylike you've always got the the mind setup we either go forward or back but arethere any sort of key things that youeither tell yourself or you do actionlike work out or we'll be around certainpeople that you do to really try and getyou out of that situation of adversitynever ever be frightened of asking forthe help but when I go to a pub orsomewhere and I don't know where thetoilets are and for me it's embarrassingthere's a lot of people in then I don'tknow don't go it's over there okaywhich way to over there so but you willyou'll find your way I remember when Iused to go nightclubbing 18 17 18 19 andI remember going somewhere and I lost myfriends and it was pitch black thestrobes are going music so I've lost allmy senses are con here or I could seeshadows bumpy and who didn't get angrytalkin front of toilets I rememberwalking over to a wall and following thewall to try and get out and the bouncersthere give me a sword and a whale youcan add the club but starting a fight soI've got from' name because that was theonly way that I could see I've get himout of that situation but the way I'vedealt with things I see one of my goodfriends Nick Davis who's ahypnotherapist and through NLP he'shelped me to get through stuff inhypnosisI did a chemistry course myself yearsago and I didn't like came to me inbottom four metres a minute wrongwasn't for me but NLP and hypnosissuited me changing patterns in the brainand figuring out what is the trigger forsadness what is the trigger for beingangry or searching for and that helpedme but I always say to the lads of theclub your place will twenty pound orthirty pound for a dietitian or you'llpay someone for shredder condition earlybut we won't go and pay someone tofigure out why we're feeling sad and Ithink if we haven't got a a good mindthen nothing else will fall into placeit's something that I probably alreadylearned last year my mindset and Ikicked myself because in hindsight Imean you haven't gotta really be herebut when I was boxing with you I thoughtI had some good physical capabilitiesfor example you know it was okay quitestrong and I was able to lean down quitewell not to blow my own trumpet but thething that really let me down was mymindset you know on the pads and when wewere training got Phyllis Phares anyoneI was doing everything was easy rightbut you stick me in that ring man and itwas like it was like I was holding 20 kgdumbbells and I was or sometimes I wasgetting out of box by people who I wasthinking and that's not no disrespect tothese individuals he was just what - itwasn't right and it it's only now and Isometimes think I wish I could just turnback time a little bit because the way Ifeel now I'm just having that sense ofconfidence about myself I'd reckon I'dbe able to transform why didn't with youand all the lessons you told me whichI'm very grateful for in the ring and ihave had much better success basically Isuppose you work with that on your boxesas well in terms of the mind says wellwell mind is so important and it's thepeople we have around usyou can have someone up here five days aweek and that they're brilliant dreamboxes but then their dad or their uncleor someone puts their nerves on to thatperson not a creative personand it creates an anchor an auditoryanchor answer that's a funny old boogerand sometimes you can feel so good inyourself and that's not just food boxthat's on the pool it's I like her wellshe's too good-looking for you oh you'reright yeah oh I'm gonna get this job Ithink I'm like a Gregory Clare well youcan't lift that much no you this is avery hard thing not too late to get intoyour world all the people's doubts ifyou can try your best to stay strongwith yourself you'll have more successthan any other booger absolutely that'sall powerful nothing I've only startedrealizing that myself now my last sixmonths have changed so much just frombelieving in myself and not to make thisabout me but even this podcast which isit's me coming up become physical youknow me you know we're very good friendsbut on outside of the way I started thegym sorry I'm an anxious wreck what Iused to be and you just touched on a fewthings in terms of like anchors orpeople saying and saying things and Iand I suppose it creates this thingcalled limiting beliefs so I remembersomebody once said to me I mayunderstand your accent and I supposethat's probably why it's taken me 12months to release a podcast because Iwas so scared of putting my voice outthere and thinking who really wants tolisten to this sirbromine black country accent but then Ithought there's people out there thatactually do and then over time thosepeople resonate with my message alwaysbecoming more confident in myself and Ireally know somebody's one opinionbasically outweigh their opinion of somany other people but it's a funny thingisn't it because I suppose it dependswhere that opinion comes from so if itis say for instance your father or youruncle or somebody you hold your highesteem it can take a toll on you sodefinitely I think it's a it's a it's avery good point in terms of be consciousof the people you're around and if youdo happen to have that point ofaround you I'll show ya you made yeahleft okay because even if it is she diedwith you if someone is standing in theway of your goal or their person youwant around you if it's someone who'sgonna say you're gonna hurt yourself andlet they're pointing out as I said ifthere's someone who's pointed out thefear to you the danger then maybe we'vegot the best interest this up to you tofigure out if the painting of is worthit but someone who to put in obstaclesin there well how about if you felt haveit there is nothing at all wrong withour yeah it's just find out another waythat you shouldn't do it saluteabsolutely and I think that's what we'vebecome wrong because we're like an XFactor mr. Graham generation and it's Iwant to be a singer yeahthat doesn't mean you've got to godouble triple platinum don't why whatyou want to do but sit by the success ofit if it makes you happy don't send inyour local Boozer and you're working onschool just because you may never make aliving of eating who cares if it if youare happy to do it absolutely does thatis the reward of your action I'm justfinding happiness in but the silliestthings really finding gratitude andfulfillment I'm not having to go throughshit in life not needing to losesomebody in my family or you knowsomething bad happening it's you knowtheir worlds are beautiful placesbeautiful people out there and it'sabout just finding your passion so mypassion is to always happen is whypeople so yeah I'm going to be the bestpodcaster in the world but hopefullythis message will have all with a coupleof people and they can change theirlives you can then go on and inspire andchange other people's life so fantasticpoint mate I'm going to move it over andI'm gonna asking you another anotherquestion game think about it what isyour biggest fearand you're not allowed to say I'mcheating here you know I'd like to sayanything we listen to Justin okaymy biggest fear at 35 is different tohow I felt fear of 30 were 25 or when Iwas at school if you fast without when Iwas at school it had been asking a girleven have been read in acting class ithad been all these things but it shouldgrow now at 35 and it's as I say mysimple fears there's a big things to mebut nothing to you mmm-hmm I said goingto the toilet went on in in a in a pubmm-hmm an unfamiliar pub or going out atnight when I've got a walk down the roadanother so sad there not to shadow willto step I remember working with her NickDavis journalist subjects only slowlyagain and we did a seminar up here wehave to stoneboxers to super 88 boxes and we all satin a circle and he said to if we wentwhat five things have will frighten offand people went dying in my loved onedying getting hurt public speaking andall these things and then Nick said tome said embarrassment I missing what youmainly because you're all boxes doing itwould rather go into that ring and havethe snot knocked out of them for tworounds than to have to do a bit ofpublic speak you know go and ask thatgirl out too and everyone went in fromput the razor pointy you'd rather putyourself in physical danger than to dosomething that you might feel like aplonker live woman yeah and he said if Icould take you off now to Brazil and youcould fight a lot of super every way tome not your bed would you care whenNoakes it's not the physical thing it'sgood then why cuz cuz I don't know thatdon't caremy mom to see me so it's the fear ofmaking something a little punk wereletting people down and that that fearis the funniest book Raval isn't itwhere there's no feel physical bad cancome from it but the emotional it'salmost like a fear of rape you know it'sI think you've just hit the nail on thehead and I'm and I'm nodding herebecause you mention the physical dangerthing and I remember I was sitting in amastermind and I was letting the emotionthat you just touched on there almostconsumed me as if I was in like thewhole world of trouble yeah if you askme the same question would I ratherstand in a ring it be oh boy you're a bea champion mate I'll do that any day atleast I would have a few months ago andit's amazing that there's there's peopleout there I used to be one of thesepeople who would put myself throughphysical pain just in rod then insteadof looking like a plonker shariq say asa cowboy reference just for a fewseconds and like you said I can't hateyou unless you let it hear you unlessyou let those emotions consume you and Isuppose it's it's about understandingwhen something happens it's not whatactually what happens it's the meaningwe touch a touch to it so if if forinstance you get rejected by a girl ifyou touch and meaning to that such asI'm ugly I'm not worth it I'm not goodenough then obviously you're gonna feelabsolutely crap and you're gonna havesome negative impacts but if you justsay okay fair enoughI had a 50/50 chance there let's goagain hopefully the next one's betterand I think that's something I'mconsciously trying to do much better butI know I speak with a lot of people it'sit becomes crippling because then you'reyou're just hiding hiding in the shadowsand watching the world go by not doingthe things that you need to be doing andI really want people to hear what youjust said then you know stop it and playit back because that's really importantmessages there and also just if you'refollowing my journey however small issee that I'm coming out of my comfortzone as well and I'm trying to do thisyes I'm doing it one for myself becauseit makes me happy but two I'm doing itto let you guysthat if you're shy if you're anxious andyou all those that you've had in yourhead I guarantee 100% I've had it myselfbut I'm here you know I'm sitting hereput myself out there but myself arethere on social media every day becauseyou know we've got one life andtomorrow's I promisesilly as that science-based trip onethink I learned we we all think we'reindividuals will think we are the onlyperson who's ever felt this and yeahit's a load of nonsense gang we all wantto be low fuel get friedgonna have a laugh and anyone who saysdifferent is trying to sell yousomething you're not alone with all thismore you can talk to people about iteasier becomes a promise yeah Iunderstand agree mate and you're notalone we are gonna come to a fun part ofthe show now guys but just before thatjust wanna quickly yeah so I know yourmindset I know you know how motivatedyou are and especially towards thecommunity here you know you're trainingkids and all those women guys you knowpeople of all ages religious backgroundscoaches everything on a day where let'sjust say for instance you wake up inyour in a bit of a funk so anyone whotells you they're super motivated Iwonder percent of the time I thinkthey're lying I've yet to find anyonedoing that so on that day of the weeksay for instance when everything's fineyou know the day before nothing's gonewrong you haven't a damn accident oranything but you just build up a bitshit bit sloppy in that day what keepsyou going on that day as I said there'stwo options you do what you don't thefear of not doing it projector catapultsme into doing it fantastic okay so thenyou've heard it that's the buzzer goingoff and now we're at the fun part ofthis show so what I'm gonna do now isput Kevin through his paces I'm gonnaask him questions for 60 seconds andit's up to keV to see how many he cananswer so keV you ready yes okay buddylet's get the timer ready I'm gonna goin three two oneokay the ability to fly or be invisibleinvisible money or fame fame Netflix ourYouTube YouTube Corner Brook Brook Cokeor Pepsi would you rather not how youwould die or when you were dyingwait Ali or Tyson are like fury or AJ AJsummer or winter your favorite place inthe whole wide worldon the catch would be to girls speakfour languages must be able to speak toanimals or languages if you couldabolish one thing in the world whatwould it bethat's a cruelty skipping or running -burp running the best boxer ever are layor legs lose your favorite song everfastclaw Tracy Chapman and finalquestion would you rather read minds orpredict the future read mind fantasticokay so that was a quick fire right justa little bit of light fun there so youreally think AJ can be fury yeah reallyyeah I'm on the fence there I'm I'm moreof a fury fan but yeah let's not makethis a boxing podcast we can do thatsome other day okay so sadly we arecoming towards the end of the show nowso we've only got two more things that Ireally wanted to try and get from you inthis interview the next one's gonna beon reflection so high so it's awonderful thing and upon reflection wecan always think of ways where we canget to where we are quicker or do thingseasier or perhaps with less money orstress but I guess the journey teachersare so light as well I'm a firm believerthat everything happens for a reason sowhat I want to know is if you could goback in time to one moment where youreally struggled and suffered withadversity kind of like us I suppose whenyou when you're 17 and your dad got youto come to this gym and knowing what youknow now what would you tell your 17year old self that would help them ontheir journeydon't settle being averagenormals are variety and I'll be okay inthe morning so just keep tryingabsolutely I'll be all right in themorning fantastic okay so sadly we areactually at the end of the show now andI just want to gain taste more but justa quick thank keV because I'm sureyou'll agree has been a fantastic guestI promised you it would be good andhopefully I've delivered on that but thefinal question I always like to ask myguess is if in a hundred fifty yearstime we're all deadand science hasn't managed to keep usall in life and there's a book and allthe book has is the title which says keVDylan and on the back there's a blurb asummary and that explains a little bitabout what your life was and who keptDylan was what would that blow say aboutyou first of all want the book to saykeV Dylan blind drunk Alliance - -anything I ever want to be rememberedfor his it was a good bloke who helpedpeople when he could and if I can dothat if I can leave that as my legacya good man who helped when he could Ithink I left a good one absolutely andyour story's still being written nightbut my experience with you is you're anamazing person I'm proud to have you asa friend I genuinely mean that you'vealways improved my life you've alwaysbeen somebody who of how closed closedin my life I mean equal gone oncewithout us talking but it's always likewe just seen each other yesterday whenwe pick up and I think it's important tosurround yourself with people like yourkeV Dylan's in the world because Ibelieve there's any of us out there andsome of us may need to just find ourvoice and kind of come out of our shellsbut if you find a kept Dylan certainlyhold on to him now Ken's not tooinvolved in social media but I knowthere's a lion's Instagram page whichI'm following and I know there's aFacebook page but if there's a one waythat people can contact you keVbecause I really want people to kind ofreach out to maybe 100% recommend peopleof all shapes and sizes and ages to comedown to this gym it's a family communityit's run by a family it would like Isaid it was the best two years of mylife that I can remember being here I'dcertainly recommend it you're you're notonly fitting well enjoy it but you lookgood in the process as well no Icertainly get you through your paces butif there's one place where people couldreach out to you care what would thatone place be Eva as it's only scrapKevin Lyons Dillon okay or at the clubwhich is located Braulio dy5 and free RAand it's the lines Boxing Club fantasticthe Lyons Boxing Club what I'm gonnaalso do is put all of the information tocontact keV in the show notes so you canall have access to that I'm gonnaobviously share this on my Facebook pageso please do reach out please show theboxing club some love and I know havingbeen here it always feels at home when Icome here boxing comes a hard one aswell so if there's anyone that you knowout there who can perhaps help eitherwith funding or equipment or anythingI'm sure they'll definitely appreciateit they'll go to good hands you knowyou're keeping kids off the street anddoing a good service so thank you to keVand as always finished from one noteabsolutely yeah one of T's take care ofyourselvesand even more important to each othermay your God bless you and if you don'tbelieve in God then believe in yourselfthe son who doesn't believe in anythingwill always be lost and remember thispodcast is absolutely free so all we askin return is for you to share this witha friend and drop us a five star reviewover on iTunes have an awesome day See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Calvary Baptist Church

​In this episode of "I Thought you'd Like to Know," Pat Flynn discusses the nature of apologetics. (September 10, 2018)

​In this episode of "I Thought you'd Like to Know," Pat Flynn discusses the nature of apologetics. (September 10, 2018)

​In this episode of "I Thought you'd Like to Know," Pat Flynn discusses the nature of apologetics. (September 10, 2018)

Colin (@colinmparker) joins me to discuss this excellent penultimate Enema track that should have been HUGE! We talk about what it’s about and I reveal some of the lyrics I THOUGHT they were saying! Episode 145 – Wendy Clear Here’s a video of them performing the song in 2000: Transcript Week 29 Songs (Spotify Playlist) … Continue reading Episode 145 – Wendy Clear →

In this episode of "I Thought you'd Like to Know," Pat Flynn interviews Shaun McAfee about his new book entitled Social Media Magisterium: A No-Nonsense Guide to the Proper Use of Media Scheduled to air on September 3, 2018.

In this episode of "I Thought you'd Like to Know," Pat Flynn interviews Shaun McAfee about his new book entitled Social Media Magisterium: A No-Nonsense Guide to the Proper Use of Media Scheduled to air on September 3, 2018.

In this episode of "I Thought you'd Like to Know," Pat Flynn interviews Shaun McAfee about his new book entitled Social Media Magisterium: A No-Nonsense Guide to the Proper Use of Media Scheduled to air on September 3, 2018.

有天我睡醒看到我的身边没有你 I wake up in the morning you absent without leave 在我的右边是你曾经喜欢的玩具 Your favorite toy to my right side's the only thing I see 可当我站起身来在房间里寻找你 But when I'm looking for you everywhere on my feet 留下的只有带着你味道的一封信 All I can find is a letter with your scent but distantly 就在昨天还一起看我们的照片 Just a day before we be together viewing our albums 可现在让我感觉像烂剧里的主演 But now I feel like I'm a shitty movie leading role 为什么这种事情会发生在我身边 Oh heaven take a look at what you put me through 是不是老天没能看到对你的疯癫 Or even god failed to see all the love I got for you 还想着 创造你的宇宙，但现在 已经被我清空 I Thought about being your cosmos, but now I'm all wiped out cold 你让我 整个人都冰冻，还怎么再次为你心动 You made me feel so ice cold, so how can I get your heart moved ...

I Thought you Had Him Luke 2:41-52 29 Apr 2018 Philip Deller AM One Off's

为你读英语美文·第254期：情深我心·罗斌 主播：罗斌 坐标：广东·河源 每周一，三点公众号首播  科学家费曼致妻子阿琳的一封情书 October 17, 19461946年10月17日 D'Arline,阿琳： I adore you,sweetheart.我的心上人！你是我崇爱的女神！ I know how muchyou like to hear that — but I don't only write it because you like it — I writeit because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.我知道你有多爱听我这么说，但我的表白不只是为了你爱听。我之所以写信给你，还因为这让我的内心深处充满了温情。 It is such aterribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I knowyou'll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and Ithought there was no sense to writing.上次给你写信已经是很久以前的事了——就快两年了，我才再次动笔，但我确信你会原谅我的，因为你了解我为人处事的方式，既固执又现实；而且在此期间，我觉得写信没什么意义。 But now I know mydarling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that Ihave done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to loveyou. I always will love you.不过，我的爱妻，如今我意识到，还是应该去做已经被我拖延了很久的事情——给你写信，况且我在已往的日子里，给你写过好多封信。我想告诉你的是，我深爱着你！我渴望去爱护你，直到永远、直到地老天荒… I find it hard tounderstand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but Istill want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and carefor me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do littleprojects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. Whatshould we do? We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese —or getting a movie projector. Can't I do something now? No. I am alone withoutyou and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wildadventures.自从你撒手人寰以后，在我的心中难以参悟的是，对你的爱恋究竟意味着什么。但我依旧想要带给你慰籍，照顾你的起居，我也渴求得到你的爱和关怀。我想找些问题和你一起探讨，也就是说，我想和你一起做些小“项目”。我以前未曾想过，直至片刻之前才意识到，我们其实是可以如此这般地生活的。我们应该做什么呢？我们不妨从学做裁缝入手，或者学**中文，或者买台放映机在家中看电影。现在我自己就不能找点事情做吗？我做不到了——没有了你，我倍感孤独和无助。你，是我们共同拥有的所有那些无拘无束、异乎寻常、激动人心的经历的“女创意师”和总策划人。 When you were sickyou worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to andthought I needed. You needn't have worried. Just as I told you then there wasno real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearlyeven more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you standin my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, areso much better than anyone else alive.在你生病期间，你总是心神不宁，因为你无法再给我那些你想要给我的东西，以及那些你相信我会需要的东西。其实你没必要为我担心，正如我当时告诉你的那样，我其实什么都不需要，原因就在于我爱你，以好多种方式深爱着你！如今这一切变得更加明白无误了——你现在什么都给不了我，而我对你的爱却刻骨铭心，以至于我无法再爱上别人。但是我渴望把你永远珍藏在心底——虽然你的生命之火已经熄灭，但你依然是我的至爱，天下无双！ I know you willassure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness anddon't want to be in my way. I'll bet you are surprised that I don't even have agirlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can't help it,darling, nor can I — I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and verynice ones and I don't want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings theyall seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.我知道，你肯定会嗔怪我傻得可笑，你肯定会希望我幸福美满，你肯定不想成为我的心理负担。我确信,你一定会感到十分意外：你去世两年了，我却连个女朋友都没有（除了你，我的心上人）！可是，亲爱的，你帮不了我的，我本人也无能为力。我不明白这是为什么，因为我其实认识了很多女孩，非常漂亮的女孩，而且我也不想孑然一身，孤单下去。但约会过两三次以后，她们在我眼里都失去了魅力。光彩依旧的只有你，你是我的唯一，从未离我而去。 My darling wife, Ido adore you.爱妻，你是我的女神！ I love my wife. Mywife is dead.爱妻，我爱你！ 爱妻，你为什么悄无声息？ Rich.理查德 PS: Please excusemy not mailing this — but I don't know your new address.又及：请原谅我没有把这封信寄给你——我想寄，可是我不知道你住在哪里。  ▎主播介绍罗斌：大四即将毕业，现在在深圳实习，欢迎大家到深大站C口附近偶遇罗斌 主播，制作：罗斌，编辑：永清 ▎节目首发，背景音乐，图文资料，更多推送敬请关注微信公众号：为你读英语美文，ID：readenglishforyou 

为你读英语美文·第254期：情深我心·罗斌 主播：罗斌 坐标：广东·河源 每周一，三点公众号首播  科学家费曼致妻子阿琳的一封情书 October 17, 19461946年10月17日 D'Arline,阿琳： I adore you,sweetheart.我的心上人！你是我崇爱的女神！ I know how muchyou like to hear that — but I don't only write it because you like it — I writeit because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.我知道你有多爱听我这么说，但我的表白不只是为了你爱听。我之所以写信给你，还因为这让我的内心深处充满了温情。 It is such aterribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I knowyou'll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and Ithought there was no sense to writing.上次给你写信已经是很久以前的事了——就快两年了，我才再次动笔，但我确信你会原谅我的，因为你了解我为人处事的方式，既固执又现实；而且在此期间，我觉得写信没什么意义。 But now I know mydarling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that Ihave done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to loveyou. I always will love you.不过，我的爱妻，如今我意识到，还是应该去做已经被我拖延了很久的事情——给你写信，况且我在已往的日子里，给你写过好多封信。我想告诉你的是，我深爱着你！我渴望去爱护你，直到永远、直到地老天荒… I find it hard tounderstand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but Istill want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and carefor me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do littleprojects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. Whatshould we do? We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese —or getting a movie projector. Can't I do something now? No. I am alone withoutyou and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wildadventures.自从你撒手人寰以后，在我的心中难以参悟的是，对你的爱恋究竟意味着什么。但我依旧想要带给你慰籍，照顾你的起居，我也渴求得到你的爱和关怀。我想找些问题和你一起探讨，也就是说，我想和你一起做些小“项目”。我以前未曾想过，直至片刻之前才意识到，我们其实是可以如此这般地生活的。我们应该做什么呢？我们不妨从学做裁缝入手，或者学**中文，或者买台放映机在家中看电影。现在我自己就不能找点事情做吗？我做不到了——没有了你，我倍感孤独和无助。你，是我们共同拥有的所有那些无拘无束、异乎寻常、激动人心的经历的“女创意师”和总策划人。 When you were sickyou worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to andthought I needed. You needn't have worried. Just as I told you then there wasno real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearlyeven more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you standin my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, areso much better than anyone else alive.在你生病期间，你总是心神不宁，因为你无法再给我那些你想要给我的东西，以及那些你相信我会需要的东西。其实你没必要为我担心，正如我当时告诉你的那样，我其实什么都不需要，原因就在于我爱你，以好多种方式深爱着你！如今这一切变得更加明白无误了——你现在什么都给不了我，而我对你的爱却刻骨铭心，以至于我无法再爱上别人。但是我渴望把你永远珍藏在心底——虽然你的生命之火已经熄灭，但你依然是我的至爱，天下无双！ I know you willassure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness anddon't want to be in my way. I'll bet you are surprised that I don't even have agirlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can't help it,darling, nor can I — I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and verynice ones and I don't want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings theyall seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.我知道，你肯定会嗔怪我傻得可笑，你肯定会希望我幸福美满，你肯定不想成为我的心理负担。我确信,你一定会感到十分意外：你去世两年了，我却连个女朋友都没有（除了你，我的心上人）！可是，亲爱的，你帮不了我的，我本人也无能为力。我不明白这是为什么，因为我其实认识了很多女孩，非常漂亮的女孩，而且我也不想孑然一身，孤单下去。但约会过两三次以后，她们在我眼里都失去了魅力。光彩依旧的只有你，你是我的唯一，从未离我而去。 My darling wife, Ido adore you.爱妻，你是我的女神！ I love my wife. Mywife is dead.爱妻，我爱你！ 爱妻，你为什么悄无声息？ Rich.理查德 PS: Please excusemy not mailing this — but I don't know your new address.又及：请原谅我没有把这封信寄给你——我想寄，可是我不知道你住在哪里。  ▎主播介绍罗斌：大四即将毕业，现在在深圳实习，欢迎大家到深大站C口附近偶遇罗斌 主播，制作：罗斌，编辑：永清 ▎节目首发，背景音乐，图文资料，更多推送敬请关注微信公众号：为你读英语美文，ID：readenglishforyou 

OMD’s Paul Humphreys. An installment of “I Thought it was Funny” featuring Sean Hannity, or at least a reasonable facsimile. The Song of the Week is from Olly Murs and Louisa Johnson DATES: For upcoming OMD tour dates, including the spring 2018 tour of North America, head to the band’s website. P.F. is doing Last Call Trivia at The Eastgate Brew & View in Cincinnati, Tuesday August 1 at 7:00 p.m. LINKS: The Big Pretty Podcast PF, Fangirl, and Lizzie on the Travel Channel. Liz Draws Ink YouTube channel. Be sure to click over to Fangirl’s blog, CheckCheckHey! and her photo blog. Follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 and like this podcast on Facebook. PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. The PF’s Tape Recorder Episode Guide is up. Email our show here.  

iThought this show was not very good. (See what I did there, huh, huh?) This show, however, provided us with some very interesting insight because in a way we've never seen before we realize, this show is 100% not for us, and not even good, but also that it makes HUGE comments on the internet and social media revolution and may even include overtones of Freud's sense of self-concept. Well, even if this show does make some startling parallels to the abuse of a working class regardless of if they're fourth graders or the current global working poor the implications are the same, and like.... this is a Nickelodeon show? Okay, so to be fair, I guess all we can say at this point about iCarly is that it is a show. We know that much, it is a show, a weird one, by Mack Finkelstein. Also, hey, just looked it up, boom, they were intentionally a Freudian trio. Tune in each Monday as we choose a new show and make more wildly inaccurate assumptions. Okay byeeeeee.

有声英语少儿童话故事 绿野仙踪 第4卷 第7章“After the crows had gone Ithought this over, and decided I would try hard to get some brains. By goodluck you came along and pulled me off the stake, and from what you say I amsure the Great Oz will give me brains as soon as we get to the Emerald City.”“I hope so,” said Dorothyearnestly, “since you seem anxious to have them.”“Oh, yes; I am anxious,” returnedthe Scarecrow. “It is such an uncomfortable feeling to know one is a fool.”“Well,” said the girl, “let usgo.” And she handed the basket to the Scarecrow.There were no fences at all by the roadside now,and the land was rough and untilled. Toward evening they came to a greatforest, where the trees grew so big and close together that their branches metover the road of yellow brick. It was almost dark under the trees, for thebranches shut out the daylight; but the travelers did not stop, and went oninto the forest.

I Thought

Sother Teague of the great East Village NYC bar Amor y Amargohas a very specific and wonderful approach to hospitality.  During the Tampa Repeal Day Conference,Sother gave a great talk about the steps of service that are followed whenpeople come into his bar.  Ithought it was a really great seminar and something that everybody in theindustry could learn from.  Hecalled the seminar “The Psychology of the Room.  How to use Inherent Human Behavior to Guide People ThroughTheir Time in Your Space”. I asked Sother if he would be a guest on the BartenderJourney Podcast to talk about his great bar in Manhattan, and also about thegreat talk that he gave in Tampa. Listen with the audio player on this page or ·      On the Bartender Journey web site ·      Subscribe on iTunes ·      Listen on Stitcher Radio ·      Subscribe on Android Sother’s philosophy on service is designed to provide thebest possible experience for his guests. As he says “We don’t sell the drinks, the ice, the bitters.  All that stuff comes free with theHospitality”. Book of the Week: How To Win Friends andInfluence People by Dale Carnegie. Learn the six ways to make people like you, the twelve ways to winpeople to your way of thinking, and the nine ways to change people withoutarousing resentment. Also try the updated How toWin Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age. Cocktail of the Week: Sharpie Mustache. Created by Chris Elford during his tenure at Amor y Amargo. ·     3/4 ounce Meletti Amaro ·     3/4 ounce Bonal Gentiane Quina ·     3/4 ounce London dry gin (AyA uses Beefeater) ·     3/4 ounce Overproof rye whiskey (AyA uses Rittenhouse100°) ·     2 dashes Bittermens Tiki Bitters Stir over plenty of ice to dilute and chill. Strain into achilled glass. Express the oil from an orange twist over the top of the drinkand drop in to garnish. Toast of the Week: Here’s to the nights that become memories, the friends thatbecome family, and the dreams that become reality.

Hello, everybody. Yes, it is me – Marc Hershon – your host and no deposit, no return container for Epi 126 of Succotash, the Comedy Podcast Podcast. I THOUGHT this was going to be an edition of Succotash Clips. I mean, our Associate Producer Tyson Saner has harvested a bunch of beauts and I have some I’ve scraped up off the podcast factory floor as well. But I’ve been so pressed for time in the “real world”, with my job, and side projects, that I haven’t had time to cobble them all together decently. So, instead, I’m proud to bring you another installment of Succotash Chats, where we talk to interesting podcasters, comedians, comedian/podcasters, and other show biz folk. SUCCOTASH LIVE! Before I get into the guts of THIS show, I wanted to let you know about the special LIVE recording of a Succotash Chats we’re doing this coming Friday night, February 5th, in Los Angeles! That’s right. LIVE at The Comedy Lab next door to the world famous Improv on Melrose Avenue in West Hollywood! My very special guests will be Dana Carvey, Rick Overton, and Wayne Federman — all past guests on this show — and even Bill Heywatt, our esteemed booth announcer, is making the trip to be on this episode. There’s also a good chance that Mr. Carvey will be joined by his two sons, Dex and Tom, who are also now doing comedy and busily immersing themselves in the Hollywood experience. If you’re in the area, tickets are FREE, but the catch is they are only available at the door – nothing in advance – and when they’re gone, that’s it. The Comedy Lab holds 60 seats. You CAN get more information about the show at http://hersh.co/SuccotashLive020516. If you’re driving and can’t jot that down, visit out homesite, at http://SuccotashShow.com, and click on the show link in the blog entry for THIS show you’re listening to right now. WE GOT THIS But that’s then – days away. Right NOW is when you’re listening to this, and our special guestS this episode – that’s right, GUESTS, plural — are Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi. You probably know those names best from their time served on the Thrilling Adventure Hour, stage show and podcast. But for the past year they’ve been doing their own thing, their own very fun thing, the podcast called We Got This. The guys were recently in San Francisco for the 15th editon of our annual Sketchfest here. We've spoken with Hal for the past three years but this time I was able to sit with both of them and talk about their show and a number of the other fascinating projects they're each involved with. PLUS the gents indulged me and did a mini-version of what they do on their show when I asked them to decide which was better for our show: Clips or Promos. Their decision was swift and, as you'll hear them declare, binding. WAIT…THERE'S MORE! In addition to our interview with Hal and Mark, we’ve got a double dose of our Burst O’ Durst with political comedian and social commentator Will Durst, a new weird song from our friend Abner Serd (accompanied this time out by friend Kitten Caboodle), and an abbreviated version of the Tweetsack, our exclusive segment looking at tweets, emails and the like. And this episode is brought to you by Henderson's Pants and their line of Bitchin' Britches trousers. A LITTLE HELP? Just a reminder that this show happens through the good graces of your generosity. And there are several ways to lavish us with your largess. Simply by clicking through to our homesite, at http://SuccotashShow.com, you can click on the friend Donation button, or shop at Amazon through their banner at the top of our page (which automatically shaves off a tiny percentage of whatever you happen to buy on that visit and pops it into our pocket…) OR you can shop in our Succotashery for t-shirts, mugs and the like with our logo and other Succotash-related stuff. That's everything we have in store for you this episode. Thanks again to our special guests Hal Lublin and Mark Gagliardi. And don’t forget the LIVE recording of Succotash coming up THIS Friday, February 5th, at The Comedy Lab next to the Improv on Melrose Avenue in West Hollywood! My guests will be Dana Carvey, Rick Overton, and Wayne Federman. If we don’t see you there, we’ll see you here – or wherever it is you got this episode from – next time. Until then, thanks for passing the Succotash! — Marc Hershon  

Jann Cather Weaver is an associate professor emerita of worship and theology and the arts at United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities. She's an ordained minister, and has served parishes in Wisconsin and Missouri. A published author, and a former Yale Divinity School professor, Jann and I met at Yale, where she taught one of the most memorable courses I took in my master's program, "The Theology of Art and Film." This interview was a true delight, for so many reasons. Jann's ministry has been a beautiful dance of art, of exploring the human condition, and of looking for divine communication through many lenses, and many art forms, including photography, music, and film. She is a welcoming presence, and at the same time, a powerful force, truly comfortable in her own person, and yet pushing out toward the radical edge of theological education. It's a joy to witness how she's followed her own heart in pursuing theology and the arts, "not because Ithought there was a career there, but because it was (for lack of a better word) my passion. I could do no other than that." I hope that you will take a listen, and soak up her words; her journey is one of an artist honing her craft, and I very much resonated with her words about finding a vocation, about pursuing dreams, and about extending radical love, acceptance, and hospitality to all of the creation. In this episode we talk about: - Jann's journey to earning her MDiv (Master's of Divinity) at Eden Seminary - how a T5 tornado that struck Barneveld Wisconsin in 1984 changed her life, and the trajectory of her ministry - about her time at Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California - how careers change over time, and how the question of "good enough" may crop up more than once in the course of one's life - Boy George, Torch Song Trilogy, and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - and a paper I wrote at grad school - Lars and the Real Girl, and the theology of this 2007 film starring Ryan Gosling - Jann's most recent courses, and future plans - Jann's answer to how to jump start your own joy And here are the links to download the show or subscribe via iTunes and Stitcher: Links: Eden Theological Seminary Acts 2: the Story of Pentecost Isaiah 43: Jann preached on this after the events of Barneveld News footage of the destruction at Barneveld in 1984 War of Art by Stephen Pressfield Graduate Theological Union Yale Divinity School Boy George: Cheapness and Beauty (the album) on Amazon Boy George's song Il Adore on Amazon (video is also below from YouTube) Torch Song Trilogy on Amazon Priscilla, Queen of the Desert on Amazon Lars and the Real Girl on Amazon Jann Cather Weaver's page on United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities   I am an Amazon affiliate. Links on this page (ones to items I truly love and recommend) may earn me a commission. The post Episode 6: Jann Cather Weaver on Radical Gratitude, Acceptance, and Hospitality appeared first on Jump Start Your Joy.

Hello everyone!Our fifth podcast explores the concept of your fundamental flaw, ways to distinguish it, and how it might provide you value to do so.The resources mentioned are:Dark Side of the Lightchasers by Debbie FordThere is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri HuberI Thought it Was Just Me by Brene BrownThe Egg by Andy Weir (Short story)And of course, other people that drive you nuts.Let us know what questions you have, what topics you'd like to cover, and feel free to send us flowers.

Jen Kirkman is wicked funny. An installment of “I Thought it was Funny,” featuring a clip from Jimmy Pardo’s hit podcast Never Not Funny. Also, Fake News. LINKS: Never Not Funny website. Jimmy Pardo on Episode 159 of PF’s Tape Recorder, “Your Favorite Band.” The official website for Squeeze. Head to our SoundCloud page for a selection of dumb bits. Visit HomeShirts.com for great vintage apparel. Check out our new collection of shirts of defunct teams. Check out some funny stuff over at Ross Rants. Think of it as a print version of PF’s Tape Recorder. Be sure to click over to Fangirl’s blog, CheckCheckHey! and her photo blog. It’s the main blog though, that has the Vampire Weekend pics. Follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 and like this podcast on Facebook. PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Dan and Logan’s new podcast Magic Potion is also available now in iTunes. Email our show here.

Jackie Kashian is not just for geeks. Another installment of “I Thought is was Funny,” real professional comedy from Gary Gulman, and Fake News. DATES:  Jackie Kashian is at Cracker’s in Indianapolis August 13-16 Gary Gulman is in Scottsdale, AZ at Stand Up Scottsdale Sept. 11-13  PF’s Tape Recorder is at the Brew Ha Ha comedy festival in Cincinnati Saturday August 23 around 4:00ish LINKS: Jackie’s CDs and DVDs are available from her store. Gary Gulman’s CD No Can Defend available for free here The Pop Culture Beast Head to our SoundCloud page for a selection of dumb bits.Visit HomeShirts.com for great vintage apparel. Warmer weather is coming (hopefully), so you’re going to need some new t-shirts.Check out some funny stuff over at Ross Rants. Think of it as a print version of PF’s Tape Recorder. Be sure to click over to Fangirl’s blog, CheckCheckHey! and her photo blog. It’s the main blog though, that has the Vampire Weekend and Bunbury Festival pics.  Follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 and like this podcast on Facebook. PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Dan and Logan’s new podcast Magic Potion is also available now in iTunes. Email our show here.

Andy Kindler reflects. A double shot of “I Thought it Was Funny.” Also, Fake News.DATES:Andy Kindler is at the ACME Comedy Club in Minneapolis July 8-12. LINKS:Andy Hawk & The Train Wreck Endings’ website.“Chasing the Sun” video on YouTube. “Chasing the Sun” is also available in iTunes.Buy in iTunes NOW Head to our SoundCloud page for a selection of dumb bits.Visit HomeShirts.com for great vintage apparel. Warmer weather is coming (hopefully), so you’re going to need some new t-shirts.Check out some funny stuff over at Ross Rants. Think of it as a print version of PF’s Tape Recorder.Be sure to click over to Fangirl’s blog, CheckCheckHey! and her photo blog. It’s the main blog though, that has the Vampire Weekend pics.Follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 and like this podcast on Facebook.PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Dan and Logan’s new podcast Magic Potion is also available now in iTunes.Email our show here. PF Wilson

Comic Slade Ham works his way up. A brand new installment of “I Thought it was Funny,” a new track from Mike Travers, and Fake News. DATES:Slade Ham is at The Joke Joint in Minneapolis April 10-12Mike Travers is at the Pittsburgh Improv April 9 LINKS:Head to our SoundCloud page for a selection of dumb bits.Visit HomeShirts.com for great vintage apparel. Warmer weather is coming (hopefully), so you’re going to need some new t-shirts.Check out some funny stuff over at Ross Rants. Think of it as a print version of PF’s Tape Recorder.Be sure to click over to Fangirl’s blog, CheckCheckHey! and her photo blog.Follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 and like this podcast on Facebook.PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Dan and Logan’s new podcast Magic Potion is also available now in iTunes.Email our show here.By PF Wilson

Comedian Wendy Liebman, EDM aficionado! A double dose of “I Thought it was Funny,” and Fake News. Plus a brand new track from Berlin.DATES:Wendy Liebman is at Harrah’s in Las Vegas December 3-8 and at The Acme Comedy Company in Minneapolis December 10-14LINKS:Terri Nunn and Wendy Liebman's radio show, Unbound, can be found here and you are encouraged to like their Facebook page.The SoundCloud page has been mostly updated for all of your Dumb Bit needs.Visit HomeShirts.com for great vintage apparel.Check out some funny stuff over at Ross Rants. Be sure to click over to Fangirl’s blog, CheckCheckHey! and her photo blog. Follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 and like this podcast on Facebook.PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Dan and Logan’s new podcast Magic Potion is also available now in iTunes.Email our show here. PF Wilson

Donnie Baker aka Ron Sexton from The Bob & Tom Show calls in. The return of “I Thought it was Funny,” Andy Hawk & The Train Wreck Endings, and Fake News. DATES: Donnie Baker is at Go Bananas in Cincinnati June 7-9, with Bob Zany. PF Wilson is at Go Bananas Wednesday June 20 to compete in the Funniest Person in Cincinnati contest, as is friend of the show “Big” Jim Leugers. LINKS: The Kentucky Struts Sophie Flynn Andy Hawk & The Train Wreck Endings Like this podcast on Facebook, follow P.F. on Twitter @PF66 PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Email the show here. Hey, if it’s not a bother, please give us a rating here and/or in iTunes, or both. It would be a big help as far as rankings and so on. Thanks for listening, and be sure to refer a friend.

Todd Glass is out and feeling alright, thank you very much. We hear from Mitt Romney and bring back “I Thought it Was Funny.” And, as always, Fake News. Follow me on Twitter @PF66, like the podcast on Facebook. LINKS: Podcasts that have been SO nice to PF’s Tape Recorder: Something Uncensored, Proudly Resents, Bad Film Club, and Comedy a Go-Go. Have a listen. DATES: Todd will be at The Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis Feb 7-11, at The Vancouver Comedy Festival Feb 15-18, and at the Comedy Works in Denver Feb 23-25 PF is at Muggbee’s Sports Café on Beechmont Avenue in Cincinnati for PF Trivia Live Tuesday January 31 at 7:30. PF’s Tape Recorder logo designed by Dan Koabel. Email the show here. Give us a rating in iTunes, or here, or both, if you’d be so kind. Thanks!

Introducing ProdPod, the podcast of productivity lessons in two minutes or less! For an example of the referenced graph, see: http://goo.gl/niUIs I'M RAY SIDNEY-SMITH AND I'LL BE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY GUIDE. A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF. I AM CURRENTLY THE ORGANIZER OF GETTING THINGS DONE DC MEETUP & THE FOUNDING ORGANIZER OF THE NEWLY ESTABLISHED GETTING THINGS DONE NYC MEETUP. YOU CAN FIND ME TWEETING ON TWITTER AT G T D D C AND AT G T D N Y C. ANYTHING PERTAINING TO PRODPOD WILL BE HASHTAGGED AS PRODPOD.AND, SO, ON TO THE MISSION OF PRODPOD, THE PODCAST OF PRODUCTIVITY TIPS IN TWO MINUTES OR LESS. PRODPOD WAS INSPIRED BY TWO EMAIL NEWSLETTERS BOTH OF WHICH OFFERED TIDBITS OF INFORMATION ON MAKING EFFICIENT, EFFECTIVE DECISIONS IN YOUR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIVES. I THOUGHT, WHY ISN'T THERE ALREADY A PODCAST LIKE THIS? SINCE I'M A GETTING THINGS DONE (A/K/A GTD) ENTHUSIAST, I THOUGHT...WHY NOT USE THE TWO-MINUTE RULE TO GIVE QUICK AND SUBSTANTIVE IDEAS AND INFORMATION THAT YOU CAN EFFICIENTLY, EFFECTIVELY USE TO BUILD A MORE FULFILLED AND ENRICHED LIFE. AND, SO...PRODPOD WAS BORN.THIS EPISODE'S TIP: TIME IS FINITE. NOTWITHSTANDING PHYSICISTS' ARGUMENTS OVER THE VERACITY OF THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM AND THE ABILITY TO TRAVEL THROUGH TIME. AS OF THIS RECORDING, YOU CANNOT MAKE MORE TIME. THE ONLY TOOLS YOU HAVE FOR MANAGING YOUR TIME ARE PRIORITIZING, PLANNING AHEAD AND STRIVING FOR BEING MORE PROACTIVE AND ACTIVE RATHER THAN REACTIVE AND INACTIVE. I LIKE TO ACTUALLY DRAW ON MY NOTEPAD OR CALENDAR WHEN PLANNING MY WEEK AN X-Y AXIS. THE X AXIS RUNNING FROM PROACTIVE TO REACTIVE AND THE Y AXIS AS ACTIVE TO INACTIVE; THEN PLACING EACH MAJOR PROJECT ON THE GRAPH (REPRESENTED BY ROMAN NUMERALS, NUMBERS OR LETTERS) TO DECIDE ON WHAT ARE MY TRUE PRIORITIES. TAKE TODAY AND THINK ABOUT ONE THING YOU CAN DO AT THE PRESENT MOMENT THAT WILL PREEMPT MORE WORK ON YOURS OR SOMEONE ELSE'S PART IN THE NEAR AND LONG TERM FUTURE.I HOPE YOU ENJOY PRODPOD AND I WELCOME THOUGHTS AND FEEDBACK AND SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE PRODPODS VIA EMAIL AT RAY AT G T D USERS DOT O R G OR VIA TWITTER WITH THE HASHTAG PRODPOD. HERE'S TO YOUR PRODUCTIVITY SUCCESS...IN TWO MINUTES OR LESS. THIS IS RAY SIDNEY-SMITH FOR PRODPOD. THANKS FOR LISTENING!

Mobile World Congress 2010 has come and gone. James and Gareth visited Barcelona to see what was new and exciting. This week Matt and Andy chat with James and Gareth about all the latest news and exciting revelations Mobile World Congress 2010 had to offer. New phones, news operating systems, updates and disappointments. Direct Download iTunes RSS Feed Show Notes Shout out to Lexi, her little sister Harri, and a special hello to Humfrey and Bunny! for the winning picture on the competition. Happy new year Andy Mobile World Congress Windows Phone 7 Series HTC - Legend, Desire, HD Mini and Smart Samsung - Wave, Monte and Galaxy Sony Ericsson - Vivaz, X10, X10 Mini Acer Liquid E and 6.5.3 devices Else Intuition - Elecite Releases Pulse As A Free Trial Theme For Storm Users Garmin Nuvifone MSI Tablet Nexus One, App development Windows Twitter interview http://www.tracyandmatt.co.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=3925 Palm Pre review tomorrow-ish Listener Question: I have a million dollar question (again!) for all the team for a veryreal situationI have been using a PAYG Orange phone as I now work for two companiesand need a separate number.  I bought a £29 Nokia 2330 and, wellbasically got £29 worth!It is slaughtering me on call costs though and I've topped up threetimes in the last couple of months and twice ran out while talking toa client so I can't continue with that arrangement.I thought about getting a new contract for about £30 per month whichby the looks of it is the going rate for about 600 minutes , unlimitedinternet and a decent phone.Am I mad to do this, Andy hates contracts but i can't shell out £400just for a phone right now, but I could I suppose keep the nokia andget a contract Sim (but where's the fun in that!) and there doesn'tseem to be much of an incentive to have the contract without thehardwareI'm looking at the Hero but unsure of Android and the lack of updatedsoftware, and also the HTC HD2 but then what about mobile 6.5?I use windows 7 for work and also run a Windows home server so Ithought that the Windows may well fit in with all that but no-oneseems to rate it anymore.  The new phone 7 series looks awesome but Ineed to sort these call bills out sooner.  Would the HD2 get anautomatic upgrade or would I have to pay?I already have a 3G iphone for the other number which is now out ofcontract and on "simlicity 20" which is great, but don't want to bedull and have two iphones!I got the impression that despite everyone slagging mobile 6.5 off,you quite liked the HD2 Gareth? Many thanks to The Stetz for the music Subscribe in iTunes to our weekly podcast RSS Feed for our weekly podcast