Podcasts about equinox fitness

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 3:22

GODDAMMIT RYAN REYNOLDS. WHAT DO YOU WANT? CUT TO: [Cofee is being made.] Oops, I Did It Again - Britney Spears [There are no pants involved.] …this is it, isn't it? What. Season 10 This is the movie before season 10 [Cofee is being enjoyed.] I want to go on high concept adventures through space and time. [There are still no pants involved.] What are you, Ryan Reynolds? A TV host? (sipping coffee) Let's just say I put in my time. —and until the seething, burning hate in your eyes returns, this conversation is over. It never left! So that's what strike force 5 does. ⚡️ Well then, this conversation is still over—because I have better shit to do. [Strike Force 4.5] Getting awesome parts in awesome movies for our friends—yes. Strike force 5–no. What do you mean ‘no' We kicked Jimmy out. Which Jimmy? Shouldn't matter. You know which. Shouldn't matter—okay— just— do the bit. What. The BIT, Ugh, alright. We meet again. Multiple actual actors are stuck in the actual world of Sesame Street, which— Admittedly, this is okay. —seems awesome at first, but after awhile… Ok. This [censored] gets deep. Not that bit! The other bit. I can't do that bit right now. What the fuck? Why not? Because, I'm not wearing pants. Did it work. FUCK YOU RYAN REYNOLDS, GODDAMMIT. So, we meet again. GET OUT. If I was a horse, I'd kick you in the face. Shit, if you were a horse, I'd kick you. And I love fucking horses. You love fucking horses?! You know what? I still might. Get over behind me and a little lower to the ground. You don't want that. No, you dont want that; I'm still holding in a fart. For four seasons? Meet me at the four seasons. For what? Because, global warming is a bitch and I want to take ironic memory photos for momentos. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? Same thing you are. (Sips coffee) You smell like baggage and unpaid debt. The Cosmic Avenger takes off his wedding band to prepare to fight; He places it on the table, and it begins to glow and float, growing as it begins to levitate and gravitate towards his opponent, [a mysterious multidimensional alien], who stands undefeated. The ring swells to the size of a large golden halo, sitting itself atop the head of his opponent, and though momentarily caught in the midsts of being in awe, the halo drops over his opponents head and onto their shoulders, tightening into a collar around their neck—beams of light attach to the collar like chained leashes and seven dieties drag his opponent away. The Cosmic Avenger stands in confusion, before asking, …what does that mean? A DRAW! (We'll see.) Ultralight beam>< oops I did it again. But play the video, right? That, and the Rick Roll. (Courtesy of Jesus Christ The Savior, Inc.) SUNNI BLU MorGIE. What! GODDAMMIT SUNNÏ WHAT! This memo says I'm starting opposite Ryan Reynolds in an upcoming action and adventure flick. Yes, that's correct. No, it isn't, Majilla!!! Why isn't it, Sunni? I can't star opposite Ryan Reynolds. Well, why not? CAUSE I'M GAY. Lil bitz So I was listening to Kanye Weat* Yes. I was listening to Kanye West, and he's talking about cheating on Kim, Like, out loud— And I get dumb curious, so I ask Google Google, why are dudes so obsessed with models— I typed that in and hit search, and the whole thing just freezes. Even Google doesn't have a fucking answer for the intrinsic stupidity that is the hardwiring of the modern man. You ever look at like Greek sculptures, or Roman Arcitecture and realize the women aren't fucking twigs? They're not sticks! They're like muscular, and thick, and mad healthy looking. And that's weird to me. That at one point men were wired to be attracted to healthy looking women— But now the ideal for perfection is like 110 lbs and if you're anywhere between 5'1 and 5'11 that's ideal. That's nuts to me. So you're just trying to like, put your dick through the bitch!? Yes. I can actually see my 5 inch penis on the other side of this woman as I penetrate her. Good job, guys. Meet me at Equinox; The Hudson Yards Location- 7:05 Sharp. Alright. EQUINOX FITNESS. HUDSON YARDS. NEW YORK CITY. DAY Not this side, that side. What do you mean. This is the fitness section. You said Equinox… We're going to the hotel. SUNNI BLU You ever been to pound town? Weather's great right now. I ain't going outside now, I got a new strike force, Four door, 5 clowns. Ohhhhhhhh. Shout out to Jimmy O! Don't shout out to Jimmy, no He back to back too many hooooeeess— You know I'm talkin bout his show Go stream Tonight though. No thanks. Ben and Jerry's tonight doe. AHEM. Gazuntite. Listen— Ryan Reynolds is the devil. I knew it. You knew that already? Yeah. Great, so is he through with Jimmy Fallon then? Uh, I guess. That's great, I gotta go rehearse these lines. Okay? Oh and Jimmy. Yes. Find some pants. MEANWHILE. DAVID LETTERMAN MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! That's more like it. Okay, but following up on before. THE COMIC AGENGER does not need an evil laugh. Hey, Jimmy. Mwahaha.. Damn. Okay. Look, I just found out that dude's evil laugh is actually just…his regular laugh. How do you mean? Have you ever heard Jimmy Fallon laugh? Play the clip. [JIMMY FALLON's actual laugh is terryfying and meniacal. ] You're a menace. You lost me. Whatever dog, I'll have all of you I'll ever need with AI. CUT TO: [Squirts soy sauce into Jimmy Fallon's squinty ass eyes.] AGGGHHHH. MY EYES. Quit friggin squinting. I'm not squinting! These are just my eyes! I hope you die. So. You're officially a literary genius. What are you going to do with that? I don't know? Die? Hahaha, she's Jewish! The entirety of the world of LEGENDS and enter the multiverse becomes a backdrop for Jimmy Kimmel's Latest Late Late Show Is that what it's called? I don't…give a fuck. He acts throughout the season as a literal comic relief, almost always only arriving as disaster and despair have stricken, and at the absolutely worst possible moment— AGH—MY EYES! Your squinty eyes. *also squints* AH WHAT THE [CENSORED] WHY ARE YOU STILL CENSORED?! Didn't they fire you from NBC? I'M CENSORED IN ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE LATER SYNDICATED— [FUCK] (but censored) Is that what you're squinting at?! ITS IN MY CONTRACT, I AM NOT SQUINTING THESE ARE MY ACTUAL EYES. Fuck you, Jimmy. If I thought you had balls, I'd kick you in them right now. [EXPLITIVE] YOUR FACE. What are you, Chinese? THIS IS VERY OFFENSIVE. Hush, Yao Ming. YOURE JUST MAKING IT WORSE. Do you want any soy sauce in your noodles? This is classic ritual torture. You hush, too Billie— I need you to coconut oil the cornbread. Cornbread with noodles?! I didn't hear any complaints when I went over today's menu earlier while you two were at karaoke, almost getting along just fine. CUT TO: FLASHBACK, EARLIER I'm making noodles with cornbread, any suggestions. PSYCHO KILLER! FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH You're off pitch. I HAVE PERFECT PITCH. FA-FA You're flat. Eat a dick. Ugh. Yo, G, what's for lunch? [standing in the doorway awkwardly with a spatula] Oh, I get it— G stands for Flashback within a flashback: Tha God. I'm not calling you that. Why not? That's what you've been calling me for decades— now that I'm in a person, it makes any difference? Yeah, that person. Something's different. You don't say. It's my eyes. Something's — different. Oh, it's nothing— just the very slightest more blue. Blue, did you say? RYAN REYNOLDS (As Archer) You'll mark the hour at which it begins, With this, A solemn sustained and prolonged note Which cherishes your argument, That all art must come undone, Foraged in truth, And bound by light With sanctity. CHORUS Here here! Greetings, dear Chorus, Or have you named your honored hut—? The gathering of all bound by the Gods Who are astounded at our haste making! CHORUS To tide! To tide and fare not my good; Fare not my brethren, come cut to fire; In aught to honor thy shallow grazing, And there, the art had sunk, Though weeping cottons in the Weat, For fortune, to arch, ire. For certain, and for gathered have you waiting— Crisp air and our attire, to call tonight, The very moon to whom the stars melt, Though pacing off and appearing as none but small like, Off in the thunderous wonders of us, Beyond earth, Another path which light, And art must honor. Hear you, And faring great to those requested our service, Bone marrow, and silk wi‘d blood Forsaken, as all have heard by now, Enchantments and forced sermons, And with wit does honor I, Gasping for staging, Present but here not yet, The after wish of heart, you I does followeth, Daring to know thy name, As Kingdom come, And yet, You are not— Still dark the womb of haven't made, And saying, ‘Are I not of my father and mother, Or neither?' To honor once at dusk, my own coming as one And at dawn, my own night in the wake in death of days, Sure to end for not I wake, as fair health does hold My farewells and yonder says, Oh how I, And are you— The game at hand. And now, our honor. SEAN EVANS (As Tallymaede) —Bur first, we feast. [The chorus cheers with great elation.] Who the fuck ordered Greek Theatre cold opens? Jesus Christ, party of 1. I don't know. ‍♀️ I was fasting. I meant— ahem— Party of three. LEGENDS {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

‘The Sad Truth'

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 3:22

GODDAMMIT RYAN REYNOLDS. WHAT DO YOU WANT? CUT TO: [Cofee is being made.] Oops, I Did It Again - Britney Spears [There are no pants involved.] …this is it, isn't it? What. Season 10 This is the movie before season 10 [Cofee is being enjoyed.] I want to go on high concept adventures through space and time. [There are still no pants involved.] What are you, Ryan Reynolds? A TV host? (sipping coffee) Let's just say I put in my time. —and until the seething, burning hate in your eyes returns, this conversation is over. It never left! So that's what strike force 5 does. ⚡️ Well then, this conversation is still over—because I have better shit to do. [Strike Force 4.5] Getting awesome parts in awesome movies for our friends—yes. Strike force 5–no. What do you mean ‘no' We kicked Jimmy out. Which Jimmy? Shouldn't matter. You know which. Shouldn't matter—okay— just— do the bit. What. The BIT, Ugh, alright. We meet again. Multiple actual actors are stuck in the actual world of Sesame Street, which— Admittedly, this is okay. —seems awesome at first, but after awhile… Ok. This [censored] gets deep. Not that bit! The other bit. I can't do that bit right now. What the fuck? Why not? Because, I'm not wearing pants. Did it work. FUCK YOU RYAN REYNOLDS, GODDAMMIT. So, we meet again. GET OUT. If I was a horse, I'd kick you in the face. Shit, if you were a horse, I'd kick you. And I love fucking horses. You love fucking horses?! You know what? I still might. Get over behind me and a little lower to the ground. You don't want that. No, you dont want that; I'm still holding in a fart. For four seasons? Meet me at the four seasons. For what? Because, global warming is a bitch and I want to take ironic memory photos for momentos. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? Same thing you are. (Sips coffee) You smell like baggage and unpaid debt. The Cosmic Avenger takes off his wedding band to prepare to fight; He places it on the table, and it begins to glow and float, growing as it begins to levitate and gravitate towards his opponent, [a mysterious multidimensional alien], who stands undefeated. The ring swells to the size of a large golden halo, sitting itself atop the head of his opponent, and though momentarily caught in the midsts of being in awe, the halo drops over his opponents head and onto their shoulders, tightening into a collar around their neck—beams of light attach to the collar like chained leashes and seven dieties drag his opponent away. The Cosmic Avenger stands in confusion, before asking, …what does that mean? A DRAW! (We'll see.) Ultralight beam>< oops I did it again. But play the video, right? That, and the Rick Roll. (Courtesy of Jesus Christ The Savior, Inc.) SUNNI BLU MorGIE. What! GODDAMMIT SUNNÏ WHAT! This memo says I'm starting opposite Ryan Reynolds in an upcoming action and adventure flick. Yes, that's correct. No, it isn't, Majilla!!! Why isn't it, Sunni? I can't star opposite Ryan Reynolds. Well, why not? CAUSE I'M GAY. Lil bitz So I was listening to Kanye Weat* Yes. I was listening to Kanye West, and he's talking about cheating on Kim, Like, out loud— And I get dumb curious, so I ask Google Google, why are dudes so obsessed with models— I typed that in and hit search, and the whole thing just freezes. Even Google doesn't have a fucking answer for the intrinsic stupidity that is the hardwiring of the modern man. You ever look at like Greek sculptures, or Roman Arcitecture and realize the women aren't fucking twigs? They're not sticks! They're like muscular, and thick, and mad healthy looking. And that's weird to me. That at one point men were wired to be attracted to healthy looking women— But now the ideal for perfection is like 110 lbs and if you're anywhere between 5'1 and 5'11 that's ideal. That's nuts to me. So you're just trying to like, put your dick through the bitch!? Yes. I can actually see my 5 inch penis on the other side of this woman as I penetrate her. Good job, guys. Meet me at Equinox; The Hudson Yards Location- 7:05 Sharp. Alright. EQUINOX FITNESS. HUDSON YARDS. NEW YORK CITY. DAY Not this side, that side. What do you mean. This is the fitness section. You said Equinox… We're going to the hotel. SUNNI BLU You ever been to pound town? Weather's great right now. I ain't going outside now, I got a new strike force, Four door, 5 clowns. Ohhhhhhhh. Shout out to Jimmy O! Don't shout out to Jimmy, no He back to back too many hooooeeess— You know I'm talkin bout his show Go stream Tonight though. No thanks. Ben and Jerry's tonight doe. AHEM. Gazuntite. Listen— Ryan Reynolds is the devil. I knew it. You knew that already? Yeah. Great, so is he through with Jimmy Fallon then? Uh, I guess. That's great, I gotta go rehearse these lines. Okay? Oh and Jimmy. Yes. Find some pants. MEANWHILE. DAVID LETTERMAN MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! That's more like it. Okay, but following up on before. THE COMIC AGENGER does not need an evil laugh. Hey, Jimmy. Mwahaha.. Damn. Okay. Look, I just found out that dude's evil laugh is actually just…his regular laugh. How do you mean? Have you ever heard Jimmy Fallon laugh? Play the clip. [JIMMY FALLON's actual laugh is terryfying and meniacal. ] You're a menace. You lost me. Whatever dog, I'll have all of you I'll ever need with AI. CUT TO: [Squirts soy sauce into Jimmy Fallon's squinty ass eyes.] AGGGHHHH. MY EYES. Quit friggin squinting. I'm not squinting! These are just my eyes! I hope you die. So. You're officially a literary genius. What are you going to do with that? I don't know? Die? Hahaha, she's Jewish! The entirety of the world of LEGENDS and enter the multiverse becomes a backdrop for Jimmy Kimmel's Latest Late Late Show Is that what it's called? I don't…give a fuck. He acts throughout the season as a literal comic relief, almost always only arriving as disaster and despair have stricken, and at the absolutely worst possible moment— AGH—MY EYES! Your squinty eyes. *also squints* AH WHAT THE [CENSORED] WHY ARE YOU STILL CENSORED?! Didn't they fire you from NBC? I'M CENSORED IN ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE LATER SYNDICATED— [FUCK] (but censored) Is that what you're squinting at?! ITS IN MY CONTRACT, I AM NOT SQUINTING THESE ARE MY ACTUAL EYES. Fuck you, Jimmy. If I thought you had balls, I'd kick you in them right now. [EXPLITIVE] YOUR FACE. What are you, Chinese? THIS IS VERY OFFENSIVE. Hush, Yao Ming. YOURE JUST MAKING IT WORSE. Do you want any soy sauce in your noodles? This is classic ritual torture. You hush, too Billie— I need you to coconut oil the cornbread. Cornbread with noodles?! I didn't hear any complaints when I went over today's menu earlier while you two were at karaoke, almost getting along just fine. CUT TO: FLASHBACK, EARLIER I'm making noodles with cornbread, any suggestions. PSYCHO KILLER! FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH You're off pitch. I HAVE PERFECT PITCH. FA-FA You're flat. Eat a dick. Ugh. Yo, G, what's for lunch? [standing in the doorway awkwardly with a spatula] Oh, I get it— G stands for Flashback within a flashback: Tha God. I'm not calling you that. Why not? That's what you've been calling me for decades— now that I'm in a person, it makes any difference? Yeah, that person. Something's different. You don't say. It's my eyes. Something's — different. Oh, it's nothing— just the very slightest more blue. Blue, did you say? RYAN REYNOLDS (As Archer) You'll mark the hour at which it begins, With this, A solemn sustained and prolonged note Which cherishes your argument, That all art must come undone, Foraged in truth, And bound by light With sanctity. CHORUS Here here! Greetings, dear Chorus, Or have you named your honored hut—? The gathering of all bound by the Gods Who are astounded at our haste making! CHORUS To tide! To tide and fare not my good; Fare not my brethren, come cut to fire; In aught to honor thy shallow grazing, And there, the art had sunk, Though weeping cottons in the Weat, For fortune, to arch, ire. For certain, and for gathered have you waiting— Crisp air and our attire, to call tonight, The very moon to whom the stars melt, Though pacing off and appearing as none but small like, Off in the thunderous wonders of us, Beyond earth, Another path which light, And art must honor. Hear you, And faring great to those requested our service, Bone marrow, and silk wi‘d blood Forsaken, as all have heard by now, Enchantments and forced sermons, And with wit does honor I, Gasping for staging, Present but here not yet, The after wish of heart, you I does followeth, Daring to know thy name, As Kingdom come, And yet, You are not— Still dark the womb of haven't made, And saying, ‘Are I not of my father and mother, Or neither?' To honor once at dusk, my own coming as one And at dawn, my own night in the wake in death of days, Sure to end for not I wake, as fair health does hold My farewells and yonder says, Oh how I, And are you— The game at hand. And now, our honor. SEAN EVANS (As Tallymaede) —Bur first, we feast. [The chorus cheers with great elation.] Who the fuck ordered Greek Theatre cold opens? Jesus Christ, party of 1. I don't know. ‍♀️ I was fasting. I meant— ahem— Party of three. LEGENDS {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

‘The Sad Truth'

Leveling Up: Creating Everything From Nothing with Natalie Jill

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 3:22

GODDAMMIT RYAN REYNOLDS. WHAT DO YOU WANT? CUT TO: [Cofee is being made.] Oops, I Did It Again - Britney Spears [There are no pants involved.] …this is it, isn't it? What. Season 10 This is the movie before season 10 [Cofee is being enjoyed.] I want to go on high concept adventures through space and time. [There are still no pants involved.] What are you, Ryan Reynolds? A TV host? (sipping coffee) Let's just say I put in my time. —and until the seething, burning hate in your eyes returns, this conversation is over. It never left! So that's what strike force 5 does. ⚡️ Well then, this conversation is still over—because I have better shit to do. [Strike Force 4.5] Getting awesome parts in awesome movies for our friends—yes. Strike force 5–no. What do you mean ‘no' We kicked Jimmy out. Which Jimmy? Shouldn't matter. You know which. Shouldn't matter—okay— just— do the bit. What. The BIT, Ugh, alright. We meet again. Multiple actual actors are stuck in the actual world of Sesame Street, which— Admittedly, this is okay. —seems awesome at first, but after awhile… Ok. This [censored] gets deep. Not that bit! The other bit. I can't do that bit right now. What the fuck? Why not? Because, I'm not wearing pants. Did it work. FUCK YOU RYAN REYNOLDS, GODDAMMIT. So, we meet again. GET OUT. If I was a horse, I'd kick you in the face. Shit, if you were a horse, I'd kick you. And I love fucking horses. You love fucking horses?! You know what? I still might. Get over behind me and a little lower to the ground. You don't want that. No, you dont want that; I'm still holding in a fart. For four seasons? Meet me at the four seasons. For what? Because, global warming is a bitch and I want to take ironic memory photos for momentos. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? Same thing you are. (Sips coffee) You smell like baggage and unpaid debt. The Cosmic Avenger takes off his wedding band to prepare to fight; He places it on the table, and it begins to glow and float, growing as it begins to levitate and gravitate towards his opponent, [a mysterious multidimensional alien], who stands undefeated. The ring swells to the size of a large golden halo, sitting itself atop the head of his opponent, and though momentarily caught in the midsts of being in awe, the halo drops over his opponents head and onto their shoulders, tightening into a collar around their neck—beams of light attach to the collar like chained leashes and seven dieties drag his opponent away. The Cosmic Avenger stands in confusion, before asking, …what does that mean? A DRAW! (We'll see.) Ultralight beam>< oops I did it again. But play the video, right? That, and the Rick Roll. (Courtesy of Jesus Christ The Savior, Inc.) SUNNI BLU MorGIE. What! GODDAMMIT SUNNÏ WHAT! This memo says I'm starting opposite Ryan Reynolds in an upcoming action and adventure flick. Yes, that's correct. No, it isn't, Majilla!!! Why isn't it, Sunni? I can't star opposite Ryan Reynolds. Well, why not? CAUSE I'M GAY. Lil bitz So I was listening to Kanye Weat* Yes. I was listening to Kanye West, and he's talking about cheating on Kim, Like, out loud— And I get dumb curious, so I ask Google Google, why are dudes so obsessed with models— I typed that in and hit search, and the whole thing just freezes. Even Google doesn't have a fucking answer for the intrinsic stupidity that is the hardwiring of the modern man. You ever look at like Greek sculptures, or Roman Arcitecture and realize the women aren't fucking twigs? They're not sticks! They're like muscular, and thick, and mad healthy looking. And that's weird to me. That at one point men were wired to be attracted to healthy looking women— But now the ideal for perfection is like 110 lbs and if you're anywhere between 5'1 and 5'11 that's ideal. That's nuts to me. So you're just trying to like, put your dick through the bitch!? Yes. I can actually see my 5 inch penis on the other side of this woman as I penetrate her. Good job, guys. Meet me at Equinox; The Hudson Yards Location- 7:05 Sharp. Alright. EQUINOX FITNESS. HUDSON YARDS. NEW YORK CITY. DAY Not this side, that side. What do you mean. This is the fitness section. You said Equinox… We're going to the hotel. SUNNI BLU You ever been to pound town? Weather's great right now. I ain't going outside now, I got a new strike force, Four door, 5 clowns. Ohhhhhhhh. Shout out to Jimmy O! Don't shout out to Jimmy, no He back to back too many hooooeeess— You know I'm talkin bout his show Go stream Tonight though. No thanks. Ben and Jerry's tonight doe. AHEM. Gazuntite. Listen— Ryan Reynolds is the devil. I knew it. You knew that already? Yeah. Great, so is he through with Jimmy Fallon then? Uh, I guess. That's great, I gotta go rehearse these lines. Okay? Oh and Jimmy. Yes. Find some pants. MEANWHILE. DAVID LETTERMAN MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! That's more like it. Okay, but following up on before. THE COMIC AGENGER does not need an evil laugh. Hey, Jimmy. Mwahaha.. Damn. Okay. Look, I just found out that dude's evil laugh is actually just…his regular laugh. How do you mean? Have you ever heard Jimmy Fallon laugh? Play the clip. [JIMMY FALLON's actual laugh is terryfying and meniacal. ] You're a menace. You lost me. Whatever dog, I'll have all of you I'll ever need with AI. CUT TO: [Squirts soy sauce into Jimmy Fallon's squinty ass eyes.] AGGGHHHH. MY EYES. Quit friggin squinting. I'm not squinting! These are just my eyes! I hope you die. So. You're officially a literary genius. What are you going to do with that? I don't know? Die? Hahaha, she's Jewish! The entirety of the world of LEGENDS and enter the multiverse becomes a backdrop for Jimmy Kimmel's Latest Late Late Show Is that what it's called? I don't…give a fuck. He acts throughout the season as a literal comic relief, almost always only arriving as disaster and despair have stricken, and at the absolutely worst possible moment— AGH—MY EYES! Your squinty eyes. *also squints* AH WHAT THE [CENSORED] WHY ARE YOU STILL CENSORED?! Didn't they fire you from NBC? I'M CENSORED IN ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE LATER SYNDICATED— [FUCK] (but censored) Is that what you're squinting at?! ITS IN MY CONTRACT, I AM NOT SQUINTING THESE ARE MY ACTUAL EYES. Fuck you, Jimmy. If I thought you had balls, I'd kick you in them right now. [EXPLITIVE] YOUR FACE. What are you, Chinese? THIS IS VERY OFFENSIVE. Hush, Yao Ming. YOURE JUST MAKING IT WORSE. Do you want any soy sauce in your noodles? This is classic ritual torture. You hush, too Billie— I need you to coconut oil the cornbread. Cornbread with noodles?! I didn't hear any complaints when I went over today's menu earlier while you two were at karaoke, almost getting along just fine. CUT TO: FLASHBACK, EARLIER I'm making noodles with cornbread, any suggestions. PSYCHO KILLER! FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH-FAH You're off pitch. I HAVE PERFECT PITCH. FA-FA You're flat. Eat a dick. Ugh. Yo, G, what's for lunch? [standing in the doorway awkwardly with a spatula] Oh, I get it— G stands for Flashback within a flashback: Tha God. I'm not calling you that. Why not? That's what you've been calling me for decades— now that I'm in a person, it makes any difference? Yeah, that person. Something's different. You don't say. It's my eyes. Something's — different. Oh, it's nothing— just the very slightest more blue. Blue, did you say? RYAN REYNOLDS (As Archer) You'll mark the hour at which it begins, With this, A solemn sustained and prolonged note Which cherishes your argument, That all art must come undone, Foraged in truth, And bound by light With sanctity. CHORUS Here here! Greetings, dear Chorus, Or have you named your honored hut—? The gathering of all bound by the Gods Who are astounded at our haste making! CHORUS To tide! To tide and fare not my good; Fare not my brethren, come cut to fire; In aught to honor thy shallow grazing, And there, the art had sunk, Though weeping cottons in the Weat, For fortune, to arch, ire. For certain, and for gathered have you waiting— Crisp air and our attire, to call tonight, The very moon to whom the stars melt, Though pacing off and appearing as none but small like, Off in the thunderous wonders of us, Beyond earth, Another path which light, And art must honor. Hear you, And faring great to those requested our service, Bone marrow, and silk wi‘d blood Forsaken, as all have heard by now, Enchantments and forced sermons, And with wit does honor I, Gasping for staging, Present but here not yet, The after wish of heart, you I does followeth, Daring to know thy name, As Kingdom come, And yet, You are not— Still dark the womb of haven't made, And saying, ‘Are I not of my father and mother, Or neither?' To honor once at dusk, my own coming as one And at dawn, my own night in the wake in death of days, Sure to end for not I wake, as fair health does hold My farewells and yonder says, Oh how I, And are you— The game at hand. And now, our honor. SEAN EVANS (As Tallymaede) —Bur first, we feast. [The chorus cheers with great elation.] Who the fuck ordered Greek Theatre cold opens? Jesus Christ, party of 1. I don't know. ‍♀️ I was fasting. I meant— ahem— Party of three. LEGENDS {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Demand Better from the Fitness Industry w/ Geralyn Coopersmith

Demand Better Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2024 56:36

Books discussed: Movement by Gray Cook https://amzn.to/45ZsznG Anatomy Trains by Thomas Myers https://amzn.to/3VUp8dr Geralyn (aka "G") has held leadership roles with some of the most iconic brands in the fitness industry, including: Equinox Fitness, Nike, EXOS and Weight Watchers. From 2004-2013 Geralyn was the Senior Director of the Equinox Fitness Training Institute (EFTI) for the Equinox Fitness chain. In that role, Geralyn was responsible for: redefining the educational content and process for all Equinox trainers, creating the Equinox Academy training program and providing on-going education for over 2000 trainers in 70 clubs across North America and the UK. At the end of her tenure with Equinox, Geralyn was awarded the "Noxie" for "Lifetime Achievement in Creating an Educational Culture". From 2013-2017, Geralyn was the Global Director of Performance and Fitness for Nike, Inc. where she oversaw the re-launch of The Nike Training Club App and led the strategic reset of more than 700 trainers in the worldwide Nike Trainer Network. From 2017-2018 Geralyn had two leadership roles at Flywheel Sports, Chief Content Officer and Chief Talent Officer. In that role she was responsible for: defining the fitness experience, ensuring class quality and for the professional development of over 400 instructors in 42 locations nationwide. From 2018-2021 Geralyn had two leadership roles at EXOS (formerly, MediFit/Athlete's Performance). Initially she was the Vice President of Member Services, a role in which she was responsible for launching a new suite of ancillary services to the 300 plus corporate locations. During the pandemic shutdown, Geralyn she transitioned to Vice President of Fitness Staff Development, where she was responsible for the training and development of 1200+ fitness professionals across the EXOS portfolio. From 2021 to 2022 Geralyn was the Head of Talent & Programming for Forme Life, a start-up competitor to Mirror and Tonal. In that role she was responsible for selecting, training and managing the on-air talent and for defining the fitness programming. Most recently, Geralyn was the first-ever Global Head of Coaching for Weight Watchers, Inc. A role in which she was responsible for the learning & development and quality assurance of 4000+ coaches internationally. Before moving into her leadership roles, Geralyn was a full-time personal trainer and group fitness instructor for over a decade. Geralyn has an undergraduate degree in psychology from New York University and a Master's Degree with Honors in Exercise Physiology from Columbia University. She is certified as a Strength & Conditioning Coach by the National Strength & Conditioning Association . Geralyn is the author of Fit and Female: The Perfect Fitness and Nutrition Game Plan for Your Unique Body Type. She has an extensive media background, having served as the resident fitness expert on two national television shows, Prevention Magazine's BodySense (with Mike Rowe) and Simplify Your Life. She has also been featured on: The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Fox and Friends and The Doctor Oz Show among many others. Want to create live streams like this? Check out StreamYard: https://streamyard.com/pal/d/5353468462366720

Move Joy Activation to Change Your Body and Your Mood! with Equinox co founder Lavinia Errico

Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2024 41:54

FREE MOVEJOY CLASS 5/18 - ONE TIME SESSION In this episode, you will learn: How to find joy in getting fit What's the perfect workout for people in midlife Keys to be joyful in your fitness journey Tips on being reinspired Lavinia Errico, co-founder of Equinox Fitness and the visionary behind the Inside Out Movement and First Point Partners,, is a nationally acclaimed workplace and wellness entrepreneur and a speaker of essential truths on the subjects of Values-Driven Entrepreneurship, The Women-Led Workplace, Spiritual Entrepreneurship, and Joy in the Hustle. A sought-after board member, consultant, and angel investor in diverse startup companies across a multitude of industries, Lavinia inspires and transforms individuals and organizations with her unique and often disruptive take on how to create a richer, more authentic, inspiring, and joyful career and life journey.

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Becoming a Successful Personal Training with Equinox VP Travis DeCisso

The Show Up Fitness Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2024 36:17 Transcription Available

Uncover the secret to thriving in the cutthroat fitness industry with Dallas's own Travis DeCisso, Vice President of Personal Training at Equinox Fitness. As our 100th show draws near, we're honored to have a figure whose journey from collegiate sports to fitness maven has carved out a new path for personal trainers. This isn't just about muscle and might; it's a tale of finesse, where salesmanship meets sincere client relationships, and where innovative workouts are as crucial as the polished veneer of a trainer.Imagine stepping into a world where luxury and sweat blend seamlessly, as we contrast the polished ambiance of premier gyms like Equinox and Lifetime. Travis provides an insider's look at what sets these establishments apart and paints a vision for a future where personal trainers garner the same respect as other health professionals. The discourse turns to the importance of genuine connections—how mastering the art of being interested, rather than being interesting, can revolutionize client retention and redefine success in the realm of personal training.In this episode, we don't just celebrate the milestones; we set new ones. From championing the professionalism in personal training to discussing the deep-seated aspirations that drive us beyond the gym walls, Travis shares his dreams of a certification esteemed globally and the importance of staying grounded as a devoted father and husband. Join us for a conversation that's not just about lifting weights, but about elevating standards and recognizing the transformative power of a career dedicated to fitness and well-being.Want to ask us a question? Email email info@showupfitness.com with the subject line PODCAST QUESTION to get your question answered live on the show! Our Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/showupfitnessinternship/?hl=enTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@showupfitnessinternshipWebsite: https://www.showupfitness.com/Become a Personal Trainer Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/How-Become-Personal-Trainer-Successful/dp/B08WS992F8Show Up Fitness Internship & CPT: https://online.showupfitness.com/pages/online-show-up?utm_term=show%20up%20fitnessNASM study guide: ...

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Oz Garcia - Mindset Means Everything: Fasting, Ketamine, & Meditation

The Third Wave

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2024 67:30

Renowned nutritionist Oz Garcia joins host Paul F. Austin to share his journey from artistry to expertise, diving into the transformative power of fasting for health and longevity. Find episode links, summary, and transcript here: https://thethirdwave.co/podcast/episode-240-oz-garcia/ Oz shares insights on cultivating the right mindset and humility for a fulfilling life, drawing from personal experiences including ketamine therapy for PTSD and long COVID recovery. Oz and Paul delve into the profound intersections of nutrition, spirituality, and healing, exploring topics from sleep and trauma to the evolutionary advantages of altered consciousness. This conversation is a deep dive into holistic well-being and the integration of ancient wisdom with modern practices. Oz Garcia is recognized as an authority on healthy aging, age reversal, and fortifying the immune system. His client list includes A-List celebrities, Fortune 100 CEOs, and more recently, those dealing with Covid and Post-Covid health issues. Oz Garcia's unique and customized approach to nutrition, functional health, and self-optimization, combined with more than forty years of experience, have made him one of the most recognizable names in the industry. Oz Garcia has lectured worldwide and is known as a trailblazer in the study of nutrition, ensuring quality of life as we age, and learning to survive Covid by creating a strong immune system. Oz is the best selling author of five books: The Food Cure for Kids, The Balance, Look and Feel Fabulous Forever, Redesigning 50, and After Covid. He was twice voted best nutritionist by New York Magazine and is frequently called upon by some of the most respected names in medicine and media for his up -to-the-minute views on nutrition and its role in aging and longevity. Oz has served as a Nutritional Advisor for Equinox Fitness as well as a Wellness Partner at Fairmont Hotel Spa in Century City. Oz has been featured in Vogue, Elle, Travel and Leisure, W Magazine, Forbes and The New York Times. He has also made numerous television appearances, including on NBC's Today Show, CBS's This Morning, ABC's Good Morning America, 20/20, 48 Hours, Fox News and The View. Highlights: Experiences at Mindvalley and A-Fest Exploring the Human Potential Movement From artist to nutritionist Running as a spiritual practice The evolutionary basis of intermittent fasting Oz's journey into fasting and nutrition Understanding fasting types and protocols Mindset is everything The humility of being alive Healing trauma with ketamine and meditation The evolutionary benefits of altered consciousness The transformative power of illness Episode Sponsors: Neurohacker Collective: Use code THIRDWAVE for an additional 15% off Qualia Mind. The Coaching Certification Program by Third Wave's Psychedelic Coaching Institute.

Episode 162 - Dr. Sean Pastuch: Bridging the Gap Between Fitness & Healthcare

D&D Fitness Radio Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2024 60:59

In Episode 162, we discuss the close connection between physical training, personal fitness and overall health and fitness with Sean Pastuch. A key concept covered in this interview is the process of identifying key traits in clients – including mind-set, commitment and focus – that will ensure that they are successful in their efforts to improve their physical abilities and, ultimately, their overall health and performance. This approach also helps you to design your business around fitness and healthcare in both a meaningful and profitable manner, as commitment and results will ultimately determine your financial success in these fields. Dr. Sean Pastuch is the Founder and CEO of Active Life, a company focused on bridging the gap between physical fitness and healthcare. Sean obtained a Doctorate in Chiropractic from Northeast College of Health Sciences. He previously completed his Bachelor of Arts in Exercise Science, with a focus on Kinesiology at the University of Maryland. His previous work focused on personal training and exercise prescription, working at Brute Strength, Active Life Athletics and Equinox Fitness. Sean also continues to demonstrate a strong commitment to both academic and practical education in the fields of health, wellness and fitness. You can find out more information on Dr. Sean Pastuch below: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drseanpastuch/ Website: https://activelifeprofessional.com/ The D&D Fitness Radio podcast is available at the following locations for downloadable audio, including: iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/d-d-fitness-radio-podcast/id1331724217 iHeart Radio – https://www.iheart.com/podcast/dd-fitness-radio-28797988/ Spreaker.com – https://www.spreaker.com/show/d-and-d-fitness-radios-show Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/show/5Py2SSPA4mntNwYRm0Opri You can reach both Don and Derek at the following locations: Don Saladino: http://www.DonSaladino.comTwitter and Instagram - @DonSaladinoYouTube - http://www.youtube.com/donsaladino Derek M. Hansen: http://www.SprintCoach.comTwitter and Instagram - @DerekMHansenYouTube - http://youtube.com/derekmhansen

Unmasking the Invisible: Long-term COVID and Lyme Disease with Danielle Pashko

Oh, My Health...There Is Hope!

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2023 27:47

Danielle Pashko is an author, holistic nutrition expert, certified health coach and former yoga instructor. She earned her bachelor of science degree in holistic nutrition from The College of Natural Health and was certified as a health coach by the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Pashko develops weight loss and detoxification programs, as well as customized nutraceutical products, for prestigious doctors throughout New York City. She also provides nutrition consulting for healthy menu development at established restaurants and children's schools. Her expertise in nutrition and wellness has been quoted in major media publications, including the New York Post, FOX News and USA Today. Pashko is the author of “Breaking Your Fat Girl Habits” and “Smile at Your Challenges.” She has taught and worked with clients at The Sports Club/LA, Reebok Sports Club/NY, Equinox Fitness, Exhale Spa and The Peninsula Spa and is currently working with world-renowned health expert Oz Garcia at his Upper West Side clinic in New York City. In this illuminating episode, join us as we delve deep into the world of chronic illnesses, focusing on Long-term COVID and Lyme Disease. Our guest, Danielle Pashko, a seasoned expert in holistic health and wellness, sheds light on crucial aspects of these conditions. Recognizing Symptoms We start by unraveling the enigmatic symptoms of Long-term COVID and Lyme Disease, often concealed behind a mask of ambiguity. Learn about the subtle signs that can be early indicators of these chronic conditions, empowering you to seek timely intervention. Holistic Options Danielle shares her insights into holistic treatments and alternative therapies that have shown promise in alleviating the persistent symptoms of these illnesses. Discover how a holistic approach can complement traditional medical treatments, offering a more comprehensive path to wellness. Living with Chronic Illness Chronic illness can be an isolating journey. We explore strategies to cope with the emotional and mental toll of Long-term COVID and Lyme Disease. Danielle offers advice on maintaining a positive mindset and fostering resilience while navigating life with a chronic condition. Strategies to Talk to Your Practitioner About Effective communication with healthcare providers is paramount. Learn valuable strategies for discussing your symptoms, concerns, and treatment preferences with your medical team. Danielle provides tips on advocating for your own health and finding the right healthcare partners who understand the complexities of chronic illness. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of these often misunderstood conditions and discover ways to unmask the invisible challenges faced by individuals living with Long-term COVID and Lyme Disease. Danielle Pashko's expertise will empower you to take control of your health journey and find hope in the face of chronic illness. Get in touch with Danielle: https://pashkowellness.com https://www.instagram.com/pashkowellness https://www.facebook.com/PashkoWellness https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellepashko/ Get in touch with Jana and listen to more Podcasts: https://www.janashort.com/ Show Music ‘Hold On' by Amy Gerhartz https://www.amygerhartz.com/music. Get the Best Holistic Life Magazine APP! One of the fastest-growing independent magazines centered around holistic living. https://www.presspadapp.com/digital-magazine/best-holistic-life-magazine Grab your gift today: https://www.janashort.com/becoming-the-next-influencers-download-offer/ Connect with Jana Short: https://www.janashort.com/contact/

“The Fall Guy”

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2023 34:38

Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

christmas god tv jesus christ new york head trust new york city father starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance wife drawing security poor tesla fall in love mcdonald wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook urban false suck sugar sisters honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck karma john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece maker bass reverse persistence hundreds icon eggs gross coup shut copyright suit tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey bro onward rabbit hole satanic fucking deserves addition entertainer miserable fall guys automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe npc shattered my god ku fellas nothin spear nonstop punching ordering idk cough skrillex gasoline edc insomniacs oh god ew crumbling oh my god aw stay in your lane deadmau5 kaskade janitors dragging oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion ahem idc beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww vengeful unh anoint what do you want jennifer anniston pasts mirrored erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth rendevous equinox fitness

“The Fall Guy.”

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2023 34:38

Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

christmas god tv jesus christ new york head trust new york city father starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance wife drawing security poor tesla fall in love mcdonald wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook urban false suck sugar sisters honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck karma john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece maker bass reverse persistence hundreds icon eggs gross coup shut copyright suit tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey bro onward rabbit hole satanic fucking deserves addition entertainer miserable fall guys automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe npc shattered my god ku fellas nothin spear nonstop punching ordering idk cough skrillex gasoline edc insomniacs oh god ew crumbling oh my god aw stay in your lane deadmau5 kaskade janitors dragging oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion ahem idc beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww vengeful unh anoint what do you want jennifer anniston pasts mirrored erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth rendevous equinox fitness

“The Fall Guy”

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2023 34:38

Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

christmas god tv jesus christ new york head trust new york city father starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance wife drawing security poor tesla fall in love mcdonald wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook urban false suck sugar sisters honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck karma john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece maker bass reverse persistence hundreds icon eggs gross coup shut copyright suit tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey bro onward rabbit hole satanic fucking deserves addition entertainer miserable fall guys automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe npc shattered my god ku fellas nothin spear nonstop punching ordering idk cough skrillex gasoline edc insomniacs oh god ew crumbling oh my god aw stay in your lane deadmau5 kaskade janitors dragging oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion ahem idc beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww vengeful unh anoint what do you want jennifer anniston pasts mirrored erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth rendevous equinox fitness

“The Fall Guy.”

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2023 34:38

Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. My documents is glitching Must be witchcraft (Or Glitchcraft, my other alias) As it's getting close to Christmas *hoodness* Niggas, man. My butt keeps getting bigger, man Suit up for the sermon I haven't gone frgun surfin as Sunni Since SupaSunday survs. Ahem. Fuck Starr Robert's the wifebeater— You wanna ride on your ex wife'a fame: Well here it is, That's what your name is: Starr Michael Roberts, The Wifebeater Comma and all And fuck Mike Roberts Sr For beating your mother— (Cause you need her.) What goes around comes around With these words, I defeat you Can't afford feed you; So here go the demons Try eating em. I try meeting men Looking lean and thin, But that's besides the point— Anoint myself in oil, Cause what it boils down to is I'll spoil my kid However I see fit Using the music I do Cause you couldn't Enough of that I get reminded of the past daily, It's a regression of Chanpion sweaters Dirty white Nikes And train riders with anxiety Sitting by me That knee shaking thing, And coughing “He must hate me”, I think Cause he never could have loved me To put a curse on Poor son Growing up on McDonald's and hot pockets —but I got nothin My father ain't got a lawyer So I'm undercover Till supacree comes back To smoke you Keep smoking You see me on TV You don't know me I don't owe nobody nothing And feeding informants Father for the punishments and judgements Try punching a light skin You like this? It's not lyrics I write //return to sender// Just like this Get out of my face With the crazy shit! You made me do this, Fuck it, I'll keep pressing the red button then, Just for the record, I don't need medical attention Unless it's part of the decision to let me in To an Ivy legume college On scholarship So check to complex rhymes, man Check out the complex I'm not gonna fight over a man, *laughs* That's just madness and Satanic, I'm way past hate and angst; Please! The “Prince of Peace” Is reading this Vengeful and revenge seeking Cause I promise I'm not confrontational, Multi-national linguist, Entertainer of languages, Maker of sandwhiches, And handsome Skrillexes. I riddle this nigga for dinner; For pleasure and other reasons, The change of the seasons is over It's cold as fuck Like my heart is I'm an artist What the fuck do you want Been made to suffer too long *coughs* Cover your mouth you programmable posessivle depressive sons of bitches— Whoever did this is gonna get it (Unless it's the government) Crumbling under itself for what it did l To the inhabitants of the Divided Fakes of unbearable unaffordable divorced mothers and fathers, Sisters and brothers unrecognizable to each other anymore Over fucking currency— I'm done with earth! If all you want is money to buy stuff Keep struggling and suffering Of love is gone Then so is time And so is I am I am I You wanna kill me?! Now you die. Return to sender. Wife eating little puert ass bitch. Can't forgive someone who never apologized Cause the statute of limitations isn't up I'm not giving up, I love my son; I'll send the aliens to pick him up —A Rendevous; A Coup d'état, An “I love You” from afar, Though I'm lost, Might not come back around, Might be one, might be dos Might be God or just The other one For the love of money Here's a double dose of “Shut the fuck up” With a spoonful of sugar, From the Wrong Mary Poppins Where it pops off, In the long run. Bro there has better be a better drop after a monologue like that or I'm gonna be mad at myself for staring into space. (There wasn't.) STAY IN YOUR LANE, STARR THIS AINT A GAME, STARR YOU ARE A LAME, STARR— I AM A GANG-STAR FAME-STAR VAMPIRE FANG-STAR “Dang Starr, Is that your old lady?! YOU MUST'VE REALLY FUCKED UP, DAWG YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP, STARR WHAT'S UP STARR?! KILL YOU ON WORLDSTAR GOLDSTAR DON'T START LIKE THE ONLY CAR YOU OWN STARR WOAH, gotta go hit the road, Starr Choke on a pole, Starr So far Karma hit you sitting all alone Starr I'm not sorry! Got a scar on my eye And a scar on my heart! Gasoline and a spark Your whole hearse Just to watch you burn. Reverse the curse You worthless— Whoever her is Deserves ya, The only mother to you son Is the ONE WHO I AM DIE NOW I know it's been awhile but I still have flashbacks The train was Dragging my body Ten whole blocks Between two stops Before anyone noticed I jumped Not even the driver It was a long ride up It was a long ride back It was a long way there I took the wrong way out I took the long way home I took the long way gone I took took the long way around I took the local I took the local I took the local I took the local “Be careful of mirrors” Haven't looked in the mirror since Mirrored rocks and mirrored doors open. I was hoping… A split decusion, impulsive I jumped before I even thought of it Subtropics lol subtropics Ganja White Night Liquid Stranger Excision Space Laces Space Jesus Four Tet Clap tone Urban flora Marian Hill Blunts N Blondes Got most of these, still need a couple more albums to start my apprenticeship in dubstep. Lol “Bass music” {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Idc if I'm an NPC at least I'm not trying to kill people by using weak and immoral individuals susceptible control and possession to attack using psychological terrorism. But whatever. What goes around comes around. All this war that being fought is being fought on stolen sacred land on the graves of the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands. Cough at me all you want Cut me off in the street— Keep sending people to infiltrate my creative spaces and sacred places— I'm not worried. Karma Comes Around -X.

christmas god tv jesus christ new york head trust new york city father starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance wife drawing security poor tesla fall in love mcdonald wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook urban false suck sugar sisters honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck karma john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece maker bass reverse persistence hundreds icon eggs gross coup shut copyright suit tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey bro onward rabbit hole satanic fucking deserves addition entertainer miserable fall guys automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe npc shattered my god ku fellas nothin spear nonstop punching ordering idk cough skrillex gasoline edc insomniacs oh god ew crumbling oh my god aw stay in your lane deadmau5 kaskade janitors dragging oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion ahem idc beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww vengeful unh anoint what do you want jennifer anniston pasts mirrored erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth rendevous equinox fitness

{The 4-1-1}

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece persistence hundreds icon eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward rabbit hole fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas spear nothin nonstop punching ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 kaskade janitors oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww unh what do you want jennifer anniston pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

{The 4-1-1}

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece persistence hundreds icon eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward rabbit hole fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas spear nothin nonstop punching ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 kaskade janitors oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww unh what do you want jennifer anniston pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

{The 4-1-1}

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece persistence hundreds icon eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward rabbit hole fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas spear nothin nonstop punching ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 kaskade janitors oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww unh what do you want jennifer anniston pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

{The 4-1-1}

The Legend of S Ū P ∆ C Я E E ™

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece persistence hundreds icon eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward rabbit hole fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas spear nothin nonstop punching ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 kaskade janitors oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww unh what do you want jennifer anniston pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

{The 4-1-1}

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 37:23

The bellow of a faraway beast A far cry from where I belong I still haven't opened my eyes in a while A flash brings me back to the time As where I am Gone in the run of a mile (or Five of them) Don't call me home I don't wonder no more I'm going to work There's no knock at the door from here Don't try to pull it apart– it's all nonsense Went for a walk, I just haven't been back since It's been years It's been years It's been years; I'm still careful of years “that's all you get” The one love that went awry And awkward, I walk as if I were a toddler Persistence, perseverance Patience, the doctor said Patience, I've more than a doctor –I thought that was clever It's been forever It's been forever It's been a life lived, dear Don't you know you've so many more of them In morse code I said “Want to go home, I've been under the weather” I thought that was clever, Hence the umbrella I put a spell on him– But that's irrelevant Only time could tell But I don't tell him anything He put a spell on me, I was in Hell I guess I learned to spell again, Put the whole world in my head So that it would spin– But that's irrelevant I tend to spend all my time Sending messages into the infinite With no recollection of Anything other than What God wanted I've got no other friends But i've more patients than doctors (I thought that was clever) Persistence, perseverance Plenty of dead friends, and saints Full of patience and practice, The doctor said “I've never done anything like this” Which reminds me, I should be prying my mind open Trying to find someone that might Finance my tripumphs Instead of just crying and trying to find the right time To remind myself: I'm just as mad at my mind For unwinding And time, For fear of dying– As it seems like those around me are Fearful Of leaving here, So unaware that this Model is just one of Hundreds of thousands Just like it A passage of time So insignificant, Just the beginning of Something so infinite It's just forgettable Forgiveness Isn't Figurative Unless it's A punishment for Punching the clock Or Punching your wife Or Giving up easily– Rather, It's indifferent, I figured The world spins Because Its just In my head SEP FROM UNISON Hi. … Hello. SEP FROM UNISON Give me a dollar. … Ok. SEP FROM UNISON Nice. SEP FROM UNISON See ya later. *disappears, but definitely not for forever* … … … Oh good, you're here. Where is this. Your future. Oh? Here, put this on. What is this. Put it on. –okay? Nice *disappears, but probably forever* Huh. L E G E N D S “The Rabbit Hole” GARY. …yes? Did you take out the trash? Not yet. Well– DO THAT. …okay. GARY is a Janitor; he sometimes stares into space for long periods of time, daydreaming that he is a superstar DJ named KASKADE. GARY. He is not. He is a janitor. –sorry. It's a longshot How I loved that backlot Longer than time And I don't know why, but I've got my eyes closed, i'm Turning back time I'm back at Bob Hope Direct from LaGuardia I would take JFK to LAX But I've been next up Now i'm out front iPhone Cameras and Nikons I'm a Icon “Madonna's Falafels” JENNIFER ANNISTON Have another fucking fallafel, I swear. OH MY GOD. JENNIFER ANNISTON Go right ahead. IS THAT A GUN JENNIFER ANNISTON What does it look like? It looks like gun! *takes another bite* Unh… [JENNIFER ANNISTON fires a shot into the roof!] COME ON, THIS IS A RENTAL. [MADONNA comes down the stairs in a bathrobe–a cucumber pops off of one of her eyes.] MADONNA WHAT IS GOING ON. JENNIFER ANNISTON THUNDER THIGHS IS EATING A FALAFEL. MADONNA *eggagerated gasp* IS THAT MY FALLAFEL. I'M SO HUNGRY. *takes another bite* JENNIFER ANNISTON OH! MADONNA GIMMIE THAT GUN You're a sick Individual; And I don't care. You make my life difficult, And I don't care. I'll never be good enough; And I don't care Now it's so obvious; And I don't care It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj turning dance therapy satan mom model hands smart finance drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday longer flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck john f kennedy conservatives grandma individual aids bananas mcdonalds piece persistence hundreds icon eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward rabbit hole fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas spear nothin nonstop punching ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 kaskade janitors oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww unh what do you want jennifer anniston pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

Sparks: Why Are Capable People Reluctant to Lead? - President of Equinox Fitness

The Future of Work With Jacob Morgan

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2023 24:32

People are turning down leadership roles, how come and are you one of them? In today's Leadership Spark, I chat with Scott DeRue, the former Dean of the Stephen M. Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan and current President of Equinox Fitness. We're diving into Scott's research, digging into the real-world challenges that CEOs are facing these days. It turns out that almost 40% to 50% of capable leaders are holding back because they're wary of the risks that come with leadership. However, our discussion isn't just about identifying these problems – we're also exploring solutions. Scott and I tackle why capable individuals might be hesitating to step into leadership roles, share advice on talent retention for leaders, discuss how to spot leadership potential, and highlight key skills and mindsets crucial for emerging leaders. Plus, we're shedding light on common leadership pitfalls. It's a conversation you won't want to miss! __________________ Start your day with the world's top leaders by joining thousands of others at Great Leadership on Substack. Just enter your email: ⁠⁠https://greatleadership.substack.com/

university president business michigan ceos substack sparks capable reluctant great leadership equinox fitness

[Division.]

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2023 63:08

It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj dance therapy satan mom hands smart drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck conservatives grandma aids bananas mcdonalds piece eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas nothin spear nonstop ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww what do you want pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

[Division]

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2023 63:08

It's so wrong All that I want from you; You're all I want– And all I've ever gotten It's funny, huh, How it all works out Around the world and back And I'm still the same as I ever was You're all I want, Because y're everything I'm not False flag I might throw in the towl I don't mean to brag but My mind is fowl I live in the gutter With less responsibility, I might be a part animal But– What you see is what you get (If you get me drunk, i'll suck your dic Till the sun comes up, And it sets again) Or was it acid My secret combination A flower in a garden Beg your pardon I got a hard on Honest Look, regardless of what you actually want, I'm going to be the most toxic thing that ever happened to you. Promise. Thats about the only promise i can make. Moe toxic than AIDS. You have AIDS. Anything can be arranged. You would do that just to spite me? I would do anything just to spite you, Dillon Francis. This is the worst. This is the worst, ever. EAT THE BRATWURST. NAAEEERR. EAAT THE SAUSAGE. NOOO–AAAHHH. JUST–EAT IT. AHHHHHHHH. This story takes forever to tell. Well, it's going to have to be less than forever. For what. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. This version of me likes everything spicy. That's it? That's the only difference? –and does a lot of cocaine. Oh. That's Nice. *snifs* nice . Hey. Hey. Hold this. *leaves* …haha. What, dude. I'm gonna kill you in your sleep. You wanna know what's fucked up? No. I have dirty little secrets no one should know about– –Christ– –And people know about them. I'm just gonna stay over here in the safezone. What “safezone”? This dude is about to blow you off the map. I'm making peace with this. Here, breakfast. What's in this. Eggs. What's going on. Nothing, Skrillex. Go back to bed. -_- Aw. That kid is cute. I know huh. TYLER. Lol. who the fuck is tyler. I don't know. TYLER, GET IN HERE. TYLER is a DILLON FRANCIS. [TYLER] Woah. Whaaat. Ah. What's in a name, anyway? That's it? That's the only difference. Yup. His name's “Tyler” He's fucking perfect. Yeah, except. TYLER! OH MY GOD. WHAT. DId you ever figure out what happened to the- No, not yet. DEADMAU5 I don't respect you. Aww. did you hear that? I heart that. deadmau5 doesn't respect me. that's sad. that is sad. I'm so sad. I'd be sad. now i'm sadmau5. lol So. Wait. Mmhmm. I'm–deadmau5. Yes. So that means. WHAT IS THIS CRISIS. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am. DADMAU5. What did you do. I dug up a lot of pasts. PASTS. And brought them to the present. Oh God. Oh Lord. Oh Jesus. I don't understand. Please, please stop this. I can't. It's happened. PART I: Skrillex left me stranded in New York. SKRILLEX I'M A GOD. PART II: Revenge. ME Revenge!? What revenge! I don't want revenge on Skrillex–It's SKRILLEX. SKRILLEX DIE MOTHERFUCKER. *dies* This dude has been winning for like 7 seasons straight. Make that 8. 8 Seasons Straight. Wait. What was that dream I had last night I hope she remembers. It was something important. Don't tell mom about this. Mom about what. [Explosion] OH MY GOD. Listen, i'm gonna try to hold this motherfucker down, for as long as I can– Do that. But eventually–it's going to get up and eat something–or everything–including me–because, well– [WORST DRAGON EVER] It's a dragon, and that's what it does. COELACANTH GROWLS Look. I can't keep feeding this thing bananas. I'm going broke. I'm pretty sure if you don't feed this thing bananas, whatever's going to happen is worse. What's worse than being broke in New York City. My God, you're right. Well. COELACANTH GROWLS AGAIN. That's it, buddy! NO more bananas COELACANTH ??? NO — MORE —- BANANAS. [the box is empty] See? What did you do. Nothin. WHAT DID YOU DO. Don't touch me. Why are you squinting like that. Uh. Cause I have eyes. You have a secret. Everyone has secrets. YOU'RE KEEPING A SECRET FROM ME. Alright, buddy. Alright, that's a synchronicity: i gotta go. Where are you going? To get some dick. EW. Arguably. That's gross. I'm–pretty gross. Ugh! See ya. Or not. Whatever. Sorry to say “I'm sorry” So, so Sonny doesn't love me, no more Okay I'll jus curl up under my Security blanket It's a curse, sure it is I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I'm sorry to say “i'm sorry” So he don't love me, huh That's awful So what was it all for Homework Somehow, I just go back and forth That's the way to move forward Sure, it is–it's a curse *cough* a lovely photographer, Sorry I loved him before But it's awful now Take me home (Whatever that was) No worries I write myself blank checks Jim Carrey me home (whatever that means) Cause I've been homeless so long And nobody wants me It's just a bee sting, But don't eat honey No worries I've been under the radar famous Haven't been the same sense Same senses: six of them Don't even know what today is __ It's just a sex thing; I don't want the rest of you That she can have Your other less-than-half I still have a percentage (Nonsense) I still want to grab at your– (Aha) First things first, And last things last All of these past lives I get the last laugh If that's your first wife Good luck, getting it right God knows I tried God knows when I'm crying, And still doesn't like it So much for colorblind Automatic shades, and motorized blind What a lovely time to find A tie that binds Sugar and spice That's mild, Compared to your wild eyes And the trials I've Tested thorough lik vials (or, test tubes, right) That's the best cube, right The latest edition I've had my eye on It's just a distraction I haven't the slightest idea What an Ion is, Beyond science and mathematics, This magic campaign A pain in my ass, Dillon Francis That's what that is I left that Amethyst At your Grandma's. What. “To Gradmother's House We Go” I don't think this is a good plan– This is the plan. –at all. I don't wanna talk to Dillon's Grandma. Dillon Francis. Gross. Listen, that's the only way. But what if she's racist. She's a super old white lady. Of course she's racist. MEANWHILE, IN CROATIA [Speaking in croatian] Damn. This is fucked up. I think we went back too far. WAIT JUST A COTTON - PICKIN MINUTE. WHO'S COTTON- PICKING? Oh God, stop this. My eye is in the Sky– (My eye is in the sky) I'm always by your side My eye is in the sky YOu keep asking me what I want, Like I know the answer! Like, I know the answer– But like, you're not gonna like it, I mean you might, And I could try to divide by 5 To get the answer right, But not tonight I'm too busy dying I guess i”m a dick rider. Right, I'm just– A big writer, Provided I'm onto my idol Or icon Drawing on dollars, A white collar criminal It's simple This isn't my passion– But it's my talent; Whatever, I'll have to work at it Addition, subtraction (Erect, or dysfunctional) Truly poetic, but lets keep it classy I'm passing it on my my agent, He'll have a laugh at it. So it's been another ten years; Here we are, In the place that i built If you're so fond of me , How about you follow me Into the next life, Onward, and into the darkness Oh! You can see in the dark now? You succubus! Isolate all of us, Bring you up high till you fall down The irony is, I'm not ungrateful, I just feel as if I've slightly earned it (Just a little bit) Honest to God, I'm just a mediocre talen But at the very least, at the end of it I can just laugh and pretend It didn't happen Fellas, You ever been shit on by two women At the same time, (not literally– but , ust out o f curiosity, If i was being seriously literal, How many of you Would have still said yes, By a raise of hands? Or, lets just have all the Supersta DJs stand up (Every single fan would give you a hand job!) Just remember the guy holding The sign at Trader Joe's in the back of the store that says “The line starts here” doesn't get paid anymore Than the guy taking a nap in the bathroom Or the chick who's crying on her “Fuck it, I quit!” –But Hailey, we needed the second income Gotta start somewhere “–I just need a plunger” Better try elsewhere, bud It'll be well into next year, before I get anywhere with this Dillon Francis Shit. Fuck. I did it again I let my obsessions slip In the deadmau5, a false flag In the big relay race to Skrillex —and I can't image how backed up his inbox is with pictures of ass and tits on Anyday of the year, but especially, this– Happy Birthday, kid. Now where's the pinata? I oughtta wish him a bat to the head For the shit he said And he blasted that bathroom snapchat pic All over the internet It's all over the internet Better yet, I'm on the black market, I just bought it for a dollar I bet i could show you how wrong you are with just a remark Suck my balls, fart. That guy's a lot to handle. Didn't I start this off with something more poetic? I bet, but got stuck in a mousetrap I hope you're happy, you know Actually, I'm hoping it turns out tragic Haven't you ever run out of your magic? Wait, nobody has that. It was. All just. In. Your. Head. Wake. UP. Hey kid, What's the plan for tomorrow? (Hopefully more falafels, but probably not, thought) Uh, I gotta show up at the post office, *facepalm* Another Dillon Francis reference Forget I ever had instagram ( haven't yet So, what's the plan then? More bacon on my bacon. Okay, Mr. Miserable, I get we're incompatible, But i”m an animal, Or at least the bi-product of something Or somesuch Fuck it, I give all the way up. Hey kid, If i jump in front of a train (and don't make it) How am I gonna explain this? I almost forgot how When pretty girls turn evil They get ugly Huh I guess I should humble up and consider us equals huh hey satan I wish I could just – Forget it I wish i could just Forget it I wish i could just Forget it Any other kind of way, And i could go crazy on a day like this Okay, Dillon Francis. You have my blessing. I–what. You have my blessing. For what. You love this girl. CONT'D Then marry her. Wait, do what. So it's settled! Wait. You're getting married. DILLON FRANCIS IS ENGAGED. YES. whaaaaat . MAZEL TOV, MOTHERFUCKER. Wait. *CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS SELF* YESSSSSSSSS. ohmygod. Wait, why are you so happy? Because! *MORE CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS* Wow. What's going on. When Dillon Francis gets married, I get pizza. What's so special about pizza. CHEESE. Oh, so it's cheese, you want? Stop comin' up in my dreams, motherfucker! These are my dreams. Well, that's gross! Is it. Why are we we at McDonalds? When else am I gonna eat at McDonalds. You're right. I'm always right. Maybe that's why you're so miserable. Yeap, pretty much. Where's your head? In the shop. FLASHBACk: Ū stabs DEADMAU5 through the head with her SPEAR. That's it? It's just a “spear?” It doesn't have a cool name or anything like that? No, it literally only exists like, once. It's an ancillary rave weapon? No, it's–it's just a spear. (FROM THIS SCENE) Ū is sharpening a spear, unaasumingly, when deadmau5 casually walks in. What's that spear for? [Deadmau5 enters unassumingly] YAH. Ū dramatically jabs spear into the left eye of the mau5 helmet, precisely through the center of the ‘X', and consequently through his head it sparks and glitches, before turning ‘off', as his body begins bleeding profusely, dying against the wall. HOOOOO YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK. *everyone is shocked*, but Ū seems unbothered entirely, if not bored. You killed deadmau5 Well, you asked. I asked why you had a spear! –And i demonstrated. OH MY GOD. Lol demon-strated. YOU KILLED DEADMAU5 Don't worry, he'll be back. Hi, yes, I'd like a large cheese pizza. What are you doing. Extra cheese. Sunni. What does it look like i'm doing. Ordering a pizza. Cause i'm ordering a pizza! Fuck! Hello. Yeah, sorry. Sunni. WHAT. SHUT UP. You're strictly vegan. Well, now i'm vegetarian. Shut up. sunni! What!? THE FUCK. It's in your contract. So is this. What. What. Do you want pizza? Sunni. Make that two pizzas. Sunni Yes, both extra cheese. Ok. Sunni. Shut up. Ok. Sunni SHUT UP. No not you! Apologies. Ok. Use the intercom. Peace. *hangs up* Fuck yeah. Fuck Dillon Francis. Sunni, what are you doing? I'm–going for a swim. In my pool. No, I mean. What. You have sponsorship with like 8 Stictly Pro-Vegan companies. I also have sponsorship with Walmart. WAL * MART That's not the point. What's the point? You're being avoidant. I–always avoid you. You have contracts! That's why I avoid you. With huge companies! Yeah, well. Tonight I'm having pizza in my hot tub. You can't just. Trust me, Maybel. IT's- I have another contract that I promise, overrides any other contract. Hands down. What's this got to do with Dillon Francis. NOTHIN. *phone rings* YO. Ugh. Yeah, Come over. Sunni! I ordered pizza. [later, in the hot tub] Nevermind, next scene! Ah NO! What! (Don't worry, I know how it goes.) “What do you want?” It's as if the entire universe was asking in tandem, in every way it could, what I really wanted–almost forcing me to recollect: what did I actually want? WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Well, for the most part, I wanted to live. Okay, you're alive. No, I promise, i'm dead as fuck. Well, if i'm dead, then, it doesn't really matter if I SHUT UP. What? JUST SHUT UP. Uhm. UGH. Before KA has even realized, KU has disappeared entirely. He is left in the expanse of the outer darkness alone–and perhaps, even, for the first time in his existence–afraid. A look of worry and fear reflect in his eyes, ever growing darker by the fading light of the distant cosmos as he stands at once still in the enclave of nonexistence. TO BE CONTINUED Honestly, though– I just wanna get like, really hot, and like Fuck a bunch of good looking white dues I mean, really good looking Smart ones Probably do that, eat a bunch of whole, healthy foods Cook more healthy shit Bake pies Fuck some more –and forget I ever even tried to make music. Lol And maybe while i'm doing that I can popo out a couple kids Make sure the one i've got doesn't have to weigh like 500 pounds, Publish some of my books, Play video games And forget about what a DJ is or what they do Unless I occasionally show up to a festival To get shitfaced And be really hot, Like I never got to be in my teens, Or in my 20's –But on the other hand, If i can't do any of that– I don't know, not exactly live my hopes and dreams, cause , you know– Everything i've just described in the above parenthetical Isn't nesseicarily me living my dreams, Or even “Living my best life” Cause if i'm living my best iife I'm headlining EDC, (Before getting shitfaced), And, I don't know, Not maybe fucking like an entire football team of good looking hite dudes –I mean really good looking– Smart ones– But like, just one– Whose hopes and dreams align with mine, and maybe I don't know, Isn't a nightmare? But that's pushing it. Taht's wild to think about: Me living my best life actually is pursuing all of my passions One of which is music (Fucking shoot me) and while I don't nessecarily even have a passion in literature– Which is, honestly, More, like, Just a natural talent, For example, How, Even after running 2 miles on the treadmill, Lifting what's around apparently ‘135', (according to some stranger at the gym) And working out to my own mixtape– Not once, but twice– Because i hadn't heard it in so long that I had actually forgotten How goog it was; And, it was so good, I couldn't actually believe it– Like, at all– So instead of listening to another mixtape, I just listened to it again to confirm (With myself) “Damn, that was good” Cause it was– Only to come back to this giant, Piece of shit, Hell hole of a hotel To find that whatever satanic demon seems to have possessed m roommate Actually has the ability to make me want to kill myself For the first time in weeks. So i think about it, After not feeling an ounce of suicidal ideation In the amount of time it's taken to turn a 15 minute mile Into a ten minute mile, A ten minute mile into an Eight Minute Mile, And An Eight minute mile into Two eight minute miles, Nonstop, by the way, Which isn't much by the standards of the people who grew up on Whole foods diet and taking vitamins that Didn't look like Flinstones and taste like sweettarts Cause lets face it: That's sweet tarts, right? –but it is impressive to me I impressed myself; I cured 30 years of trauma and depression by eating exclusively at Whole Foods Market And going to the gym every day Even if its for 5 minutes Every Single Day With the exception of– You know When my roomate's depression gets so bad It becomes contagious, and exhausting to the point that I can only listen to the 48 laws of power on repeat So many times And can't help on my life to think about her When it gets to the law that states That you can die of other people's misery. Cause you can, And I almost did, So i consider myself, these days to be more dead than alive, or to have never lived Cause i've got Skrillex on a world tour dancing around in one side of my brain and, deadmau5 swinging his dick around somewhere in my subconcious –and of course, Dillon Francis somewhere between my funny bone And my frontal lobe wreaking more havoc on my psyche than any man should have the ability to, but - Again, I've come so far And fought so hard just Trying to live or at least Trying to catch up To the caucasians And sometimes, but rarely asians and other ethnics that actually fit in; and were born alive rather than dead In bodies and with minds that functioned Maybe not perfectly, But well enough to socialize or capitalize on whatever strengths and talents they were given Not to complain (Again) But just to reiterate, I was born with gifts and talents, But, doubling back To the 48 Laws I learned all of them from my mom Before I turned one And the way I read the book was Pretty much just A backwards regression, Realizing that having a mother With so much trauma and depression Might effect everything And be the difference between Being an athlete, a superstar musician Or any other reason I abandoned Instagram; Cause i don't like the algorithm reminding me Of how fat I am Or that I'm black Or how much i've failed Or of all the things I could but can't do Because i'm still playing catch up to Karen Or whatever you wanna call her We all have names, but It's possible that We've been lost In all the comparison to one another Because in all this time Woman to woman and Man to man Nobody really knows what the fuck it is they really want. So what do I want? Fuck it, I want a yacht, With deadmau5, Skrillex, and Dillon Francis on it Just so i can throw them off and ride off into the sunset So i can go preform at some awesome Insomniac event Where i'll fall in love with everybody in the front row –well, maybe, not all of them but a lot, Or maybe I just want their bodies I don't know The only difference between love and lust comes From motherhood; So where's my son fit in to all of this? Or i should just Leave him in the dust, with his father Who I often think of Cause the raised scar he left me Crosses my tongue every other word? Sure. Whatever. It's just more to write about, But I might want less to write about cause I've been studying other authors And the shotguns that they loved enough to swallow –But honesty, i've been working out so hard It's hard to want to off myself Till I come to this hotel Where my roommate just– Doesn't sti will with me And doesn't sit still at all —which is crazy to think That in all this narcissism i've developed I still have enough empathy That her anxiety makes me Feel the need to eat, or if I haven't So empty I coud vomit And i thought i was making it up, but As it turned out, Beautiful women can't be tested And it seems she's probably still beautiful To the many men that would love to have a perfect girl To bend to his will; But really, It's almost as if with every evil thing she's done someone uglier replaces the girl I first saw With each remark Of course, I'm sure it's all for something But i wanted more for us to get along Than to have a room alone Where i could tell this story; Or write my albums Or wipe the slate clean I'm thinking of just Starting over Of course, sixteen pages deep I find it hard to believe It really just comes naturally And quite automatic That it's almost paranormal What do I want? A warm body That won't hurt me a home of my own A couple of dogs – Here it goes again Fuck Dillon Francis I want a life so well fucking lived And well accomplished that It doesn't even matter, The Festival Project, or anything in it Fuck, I just want to be happy What if i cured 30 years of depression Eating Whole Foods Market and working out, without Therapy, Using google documents and Dance music as an outlet? Wouldn't you be proud? Or maybe I could get offed for that. I don't know.. Maybe what's good for the goose is good for the gander The password was flagship Getting abstract and poetic again, Picking up pennies bending my enemies into my empathy, Sweltering, sweating regrets on my epitaphs Ugh The best of the best, A decade has passed I'm switching my cadences, Just in case somebody reads this crap Blissful awareness, I shouldn't be scares of it Clandestine palaces crash, Shattered by amethyst Man, fuck dillon francis and his happy ass, always had it, perfectly privleged caucasian interchangeable dangerous engagement of a girlfriend . Yeah, fuck both of them. Again, if you're taking it literal– Fuck it, They're both fucking beautiful. I'll just be USeful, or something. Should probably brush up my resume– Interesting, isn't it? Haven't thought of jumping in front of a train before neyla went crazy, But heyl I made it up. We can pretend we're individuals But i live in a collective consciousness, Whoever's in ignorant bliss of this I consider lucky, negligent, and unconscious But that's just be being pompous. I'm half a white supremacist, anyway Conservative, straight up But lately, I hate the whole game game I made up But hey, At least there's deadmau5. Oh yeah, that's what I want. I want to be like deadmau5. I want a whole house filled with synthesiszers A custom sound system and a hot wife; A big brain, A fan base, And a nice body; I want a whole lot of Flying around, and everybody loving me; And loving every body At every party Amen Yeah, that's what I want. I want to be a rockstar; I want a daughter with Skrillex And six encores. I want a horse drawn carriage; An all-star wedding, and a Tesla; I want my chest done so damn big, I need a reduction. Better stay humble. For better, or worse, you know. If it was a curse, I'd probably be worse off, Than all who have wronged me– It never lasts long, It's all temporary, Nobody loves me– I'm just a pathological insomniac Call me a Devil, I'll try to find him– A vegan light skin, but in the eyes I'd probably find him A cut above it all, I'm just in awe we've never talked, But i'm just like you A stone against a wall, I'd be a shamed to call my father Suicidal But that's where my mind goes When there's no one And my own son Doesn't know me But I only know What love is Cause i held him In my arms the very moment He was born So What do I want? I want him to know? I'll always love him No matter where I go And I'd rather be homeless Than no one In my own home Next to his father What do I want? I want him to go to school And never worry if he''ll be able to catch up. What do I want? I want a family, But that can't heppen Cause nobody loves me What do I want? I want to see Satan in his own body; Instead of taking the ones around me And playing with them Since he wants to follow me What do I want? A lot of money Said everybody. What do I want? A son and a daughter– that won't die before me. What do I want? I want someone else to recite this anomaly of poetry with, or without me. What do I want? I want to google the definition of ‘pithy” Cause it's been circling incessantly inside my head Like depression hasn't; But my roomate has it And i'm not trying to catch it Fucking toxic obnoxious Whatever, forget it SUCCUBUS. Yeah, we know what that is. pith·y /ˈpiTHē/ adjective 1. (of language or style) concise and forcefully expressive. 2. (of a fruit or plant) containing much pith. Nice. Yeah well. This whole thing is opening my third eye, To how guys see it. It doesn't make sense To give consent, And then renig it; This isn't sex But if it was, Why would you mess with his head like that? And if it was If you wanna lay in bed and get fat, that's fine But get the fuck out of here with that I can't So What do I want? To keep counting my blessings that I got healthy What do I want? I want psychology to catch up to my understanding. What do i want? Honestly, i just want my own something What do I want? To balance the toxicity, I guess Everybody has choices And mine is– I count my blessings, just to stay blessed I don't want anything from anybody. But i don't say don't cause that negates negativity, entirely . Perhaps, soe reverse psychology, But if I go back to school I'll be bored (and really horny) If i go back to school, I'll owe even more money! If i go back to school I'll do music and not psychology. If i go back to school, I'll have professors younger than me. If i go back to school I'll drown in the toxicity; The new generation's vaping, hating themselves canceling everything: everyone's a baby rapist But you can't say it or isolate them cause tolerating even the most Unsavory behavior is fuck , i lost it. What happened. Idk. eminem's cadence. It had an ‘a' Lets see. fuck . To tolerate sunsavory behavior is worth debating, Nope, i lost it You thnk so Idk if i think about it too much it'll lose its what Soul. What. you have one of those? Yeah. Dang. That's cool. Everyone has one (that's not true) *shrugs* I don't. What. I used to. What?! I sold it. What. To the devil. Now i'm famous. *shrugs, super satisfied* …How'd you get famous? …I woke up like this. *nods, unquestioning* I still remember the taste of bong water like it was yesterday. I guess i'd consider bondage, for the right boytoy. So what do you want? I want to stop writing, but it's still early. What do you want? I want more coffee, and less yawning. What do you want? I want God to be happy, Cause i personified her And she's angry I ruined my body by eating. Perceivably. The positives: Now I knw Sweet Chili Doritos are probably vegan. The positives: Now I know she's programmed by the government and/or susceptible to possession by satan, or a combination of both things–assuming one is not the other, as not astonishingly, the toxicity it would take to program one person to torture another is alarmingly evil; But Karma comes to those who intentionally hurt others, you know– I've been brushing up on Kabbalah It seems to attempt to provoke, but I'd rather do nothing but stall Perhaps i've adapted habits Become pathological, or What have you At least I know that condition comes from trauma Not that i'm Not responsible I just stoped giving a fuck If everything i do is wrong And i'm the problem Why do i keep waking up, then? What do you want? I want Whole Foods Market to sponsor me. What do you want? I want Equinox Fitness seven days a week. What do you want? I want to raise smart and capable children. What do you want? I want to forget Dillon Francis ever existed I want Skrillex to stop being Skrillex I want synthesizers and acoustic instruments in my top floor apartment In manhattan, and My ex husband to pay back All of the money I paid him But that's pushing it. I want everything. I want a world tour I want to do more with my life than just Sit here And write about it I want to be wanted and loved Not by everybody But perhaps Just a loyal fanbase A few hundred thousand Maybe a million Considering there are 8 billion people on the planet and My talent is condensed and limited by The language barrier I want Bearr to be anywhere he feels happier I want people to know that I tried my best, i”m not lazy I want people to know the rest of the story Why i'm crazy How I made it all up– And they helped me How we all decided on the world we're in together And the only way to get to heaven is to remember. Kx5 …I remember. MAN, SHUT THE FUCK – UP. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ new york head trust new york city starting peace man soul woman hell living dj dance therapy satan mom hands smart drawing security tesla fall in love wake walmart apologies honest happy birthday flying cook false suck sugar honestly cheese gotta lol picking fuck conservatives grandma aids bananas mcdonalds piece eggs gross shut copyright tested flashback lifting shut up jim carrey onward fucking addition miserable automatic dang bake publish nevermind trader joe shattered my god ku fellas nothin spear nonstop ordering idk skrillex edc insomniacs oh god ew oh my god aw deadmau5 oh lord isolate yah sunni blissful ion beg whole foods market dillon francis succubus motherfuckers aww what do you want pasts erect mazel tov uhm flinstones eat it mmhmm unsavory yeap oh jesus pith taht coelacanth equinox fitness

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